# Wife Left Me And Is Not Willing To Talk



## ctaug7 (Dec 15, 2012)

This has been the hardest thing in my life as i would imagine others would know. I am 21 and my wife (same age been married for almost 3 years) left me about a week ago. She claimed that she did not love me and thinks we are total strangers. This past week she had finals and was going to reconcile with my mother (whom they got in a fight and my mother hit her about 2 months ago). When she left me she took everything of hers and told me she was going to live with a friend. Sadly for me i looked into her email and saw that she was going to get a place of her own for a few months. For us we have been living under my familys roof. We have been going to counseling and been going for the past few months, things were really looking up. We had finals in school this week and she was very stressed about it, and i was wrong with the way i treated her during that crucial time for her. Just a few days later after she left she had me call her and talked (this was right before her last final, so it was bad timing). She told me she does not love me and that she hates me. It is weird to hear that because we were just fine a few weeks ago, and things were going really good. She also said she plans on getting a divorce and that right now she has not been this happy being away from me in a long time. She also said that she can not be with me because i remind her of my family. I have told her i am willing to leave my family and be with her as we have talked about in counseling. Right now it has been a good 5 days, and my life is at a stand still. I dont know what i should do, i want to know what is going to happen whether this was just out of depression and she wanted to get away or if this is permanent, i email her and text her at least 1 time a day cause i care about her more than she knows. I know i have done things wrong in the past but i never imagined this would happen. The past few days i have been having anxiety and panic attacks and i dont have anyone to talk about with this. I try to do things to get my mind off of the situation but at the same time i can not considering i feel like any minute she will come walking back to me. 
Also we are full time students in college. I havent had a job in a while and she had a job. When she left she said she got another job so she is working 2 jobs to support herself. I care about her more than my life and i do not want her to be suffering with 2 jobs. Right now all i know is that i know where she is (not exactly where but which city) and i know where she works. With her avoiding me it makes hard for me to not go looking for her, this is not something you just leave everything without warning and say you are done. I have so many questions unanswered and i am going to lose my mind. 

I know i left out a few things let me know if you need anything else, i am desperate and each day is harder. Please help me.


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## daMan (Dec 18, 2012)

I'm no expert, but I just want to share my opinion. You're both 21 and didn't mention any kid, so it's a little easier to deal with. 
I had a high school sweet heart that ended the relationship when I was in 3rd year college, not quite as close as wife but we were deeply in love, she spends a lot of time with me in my own apt while I was in college. I almost fail and thought my life was over, but I eventually recovered from it, I'm not certain if your wife was your first love but I believe that puppy love hurts as I have experienced it myself.
What got me through the tough period of recovery was my friends, I was so depressed but luckily I had some great friends who spent a lot of time with me so I can forget my pain, I played more sports, got into a couple of hobbies.
If she's trying to ignore you, then the more you try the more she will be irritated of you. Looks like she's trying to leak a fresh wound and you're making it worse. I suggest give her some space, and if she has any feeling for you, she will contact you. But if it's true that she has no feeling for you, then you can't bring her back. So don't try to hang on to something that you can't.
From my own experience, deal with it by keeping yourself really busy with something else. Learn a new hobby, hang out with friends, and most importantly, focus on your school work for now. 
Who knows, she may try to contact you when she stops hearing from you.


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