# trying to let this go...amd move forward



## tryingtochange

ok we are trying to work out things and no we really dont have to many issues we have never cheated or anything more than a few verbal arguements but now that all the kids are moving onward and out I have problems with empty nester and have been working thru this but his opinion is let all the past probmes go and lets just move forward and have fun...How do you leave all the crap behind and just go forward?? He told me he loves me and really wants to be with me why am I making it harder than it has to be to just have fun?? It is honestly me who keeps bring up problems....He even said maybe we are better apart..and hes at his wits end. I want to keep him he is a great man..but how do I close the door on the past? Thanks in advacne for amy suggestions and advice

Tryingtochange


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## Hicks

In the words of Yoda.. "There is no try, only do"


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## Convection

My wife and I have done this. No good will come of it.

You have to let go for yourself first. If you have resentment, get it out of your system. Exercise works wonders. Counseling might help. A little introspection won't hurt; in the greater scheme of things, how important is it to revisit what happened before? Are you snapping off old complaints when you are upset? Or do you legitimately not want to let it go? If you do, you need to drown the resentment with good memories and feelings. Do this for yourself; holding on will poison you, not him.

Or if that doesn't work, try this:

Marge (after Homer wrecked the car): I don't think the car had broken axles before.
Homer: Before, before! That's the past, Marge. Quit living in the past!

"Quit living in the past, Marge!" is practically a mantra for my wife and I. I guess we view it as either wallow in what was, or let it go and enjoy today. Happiness is a choice. OP, what do you choose?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## justonelife

Why do you think you keep bringing up old problems? Were they rug-swept and never really dealt with? Maybe they keep coming up because they weren't really resolved to your satisfaction.

At some point though, you just have to decide if this is the man you want or not. If the old issues bother you this much, maybe he isn't right for you. Maybe counseling would be good to explore these feelings.


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## Plan 9 from OS

I noticed that in your OP you stated that the two of you only had a few verbal arguments. To me that implies that there was not a lot of communication whenever one or the other was upset over an issue. Did you rug sweep your problems throughout your marriage and threw all of your energies into raising the kids? It sounds like you two put your focus on the kids to the exclusion of your marriage. As the kids leave, you are now looking at each other and perhaps wondering "who IS this person that I married?". It sounds like you fell into the "parent trap". Is my assessment accurate, and could you elaborate on some of the specific issues you two are having?


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