# Urgent help needed



## upsetDan (Jun 17, 2014)

Some of you may have read my thread...
My wife and i separated in march, she has zero interest in sorting things out..
we have 3 young children... 4/3/1
she has allowed me to see kids regular, BUT has recently stopped answering my calls in the evening to say night. I love doing this.
The last few days she has not allowed me once to speak to kids at night, i have called and called and she threatened me with the police for harassment/???
Last night i had a call from mother in law saying she was going to take my wife to solicitor to stop me seeing kids as i got hump via text messages?
She did this to the fathers of her 2 kids years ago!!

I am from uk. what are the rules to this? it seems that more and more fathers are being granted 50/50 custody?
I do not have a criminal record, or anything against me... so am i likely to get 50/50 custody?

any advice i would be so greatful!!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Talk to a lawyer of your own. ASAP!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

As PBear said, you need to talk to a solicitor. Not tomorrow, not tonight, but NOW. it needs to be your number one priority today. 

Your wife is setting-out the terms of the battlefield (and, make no mistake, from what she did before and what she's doing now, it is a battlefield for your kids). You need to protect yourself and your kids, NOW.


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## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

It's probably too late in the day to contact a solicitor, so do it FIRST thing in the morning when they open shop.


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## Arendt (Mar 25, 2013)

...and stop calling and texting your W. Post here instead.


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## WolverineFan (Nov 26, 2013)

I am very sorry for the situation. I live in the USA and know nothing about the laws of the UK but I do know that children need their father. You do not have to be bullied or manipulated to give up contacting your children. Have you spoken with an attorney yet? They would be your best source of information, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep your head up.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Dan,
Immediately stop with the 'repeated calls'. 

When you want something, you send her one text message.

Wifesname,
I would like to have a short call to say good night to the children this evening. What time is convenient for that? Would you like me to call you, or do you prefer to call me?

------
You can do one of those a day. If she ignores you, get your lawyer to help with that. If she agrees to a call and then doesn't pick up, you can send a single follow up asking if the call is simply a bit delayed or if she is canceling it. 

Don't send texts complaining that she isn't responding to earlier texts. Your lawyer will help you leverage her bad behavior (if she repeatedly ignores you) in court. 

Don't let her bait you or provoke you. You'll end up seeing your kids less if that happens. 

Don't call your MIL. 

Avoid discussions with your W as much as possible. She may bait you and record your reaction. Try to limit communication to text. This includes agreements on you visiting the kids. If your W agrees on a voice call to a Visitation schedule, hang up and send her a short text confirming the schedule. 

Keep it friendly:

Thanks for working with me on the visitation schedule. I'm looking forward to seeing the kids. As agreed, I will be picking them up location / date. 




upsetDan said:


> Some of you may have read my thread...
> My wife and i separated in march, she has zero interest in sorting things out..
> we have 3 young children... 4/3/1
> she has allowed me to see kids regular, BUT has recently stopped answering my calls in the evening to say night. I love doing this.
> ...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

upsetDan said:


> she has allowed me to see kids regular,


She’s not the boss of your kids. You have however handed that over to her by letting her be in charge. So now you need to get a solicitor to fight to have equal access to your children.


upsetDan said:


> BUT has recently stopped answering my calls in the evening to say night. I love doing this.
> The last few days she has not allowed me once to speak to kids at night, i have called and called and she threatened me with the police for harassment/???
> Last night i had a call from mother in law saying she was going to take my wife to solicitor to stop me seeing kids as i got hump via text messages?


She does not have to pick up the phone and let you talk to the kids because there is no parenting agreement in place. 
Did she move out of the family home or did you? You should have seen a solicitor before you or she moved out to establish the rules.


upsetDan said:


> She did this to the fathers of her 2 kids years ago!!


Probably for the same reason she’s doing it now… a father who did not do what was necessary to establish his rights from the start.
I am from uk. what are the rules to this? it seems that more and more fathers are being granted 50/50 custody?


upsetDan said:


> I do not have a criminal record, or anything against me... so am i likely to get 50/50 custody?


I also have read that more and more fathers are getting 50/50 in the UK. So you need to see a solicitor to get this established.


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