# My boyfriend is obsessed with big boobs



## kaido (Jul 2, 2012)

My boyfriend of 1,5 yrs started to say that he prefers my breasts to be bigger when we had been together for 3 moths. Lately he talks about it a lot and says that this is the main problem in our relationship (my breasts are of decent European "C" size, not superbig but not small either). His ex had really big breasts and now he says that in these 1,5 yrs he has realized how important big boobs are to him. He has admitted that he goes crazy when he sees a busty girl on the street, that he is like obsessed and desparately wants to touch the boobs and that sometimes he is even afraid to do something that is against the law (so strong is the instinct). He says that he likes my personality and also my body and thinks that I'm pretty but that he has this obsession and can't get rid of it. 
In the most of the other aspects we fit together very well, we have good "chemistry" between us and trust each other and we would like to spend our life with each other. But from the other side we have this big sexual problem (he says that he likes also me in bed and has a lot of sex with me but he says that he would take more care of my needs and do more foreplay etc etc if I had big boobs; now it is more about what he likes and needs in bed, not what I like in bed). Sometimes he is upset himself because he doesn't want to lose me, we are special to each other and we don't believe that it would be easy to find anybody else with so good chemistry in other aspects except sex. He has high sex drive (high but not too high, I wouldn't say that he is obsessed also with sex). He has suggested several times that I enlarge my breasts in one way or another...I don't think that I could ever accept that and I have said this to him...but this issue makes both of us worried..... I would appreciate answers from people who have gone through similar problems...can our relationship last? How do you think based on your experience? Can it last because of our good will despite this boob obsession? He is 40 yrs old and has had 2 girlfriends before me, both of them have larger boobs than I do...He has said to me that he has serious intentions with me and that this is the reason why he speaks about this problem so much, that he wants to "solve" it in some way and that he feels quite embarassed that he has this strong need to watch the videos where he is having sex with his ex because he misses the big boobs so much...but he is not in love with his ex, she left him in an ugly manner and he is still very angry at her (Sorry for my English, I'm not a native speaker). Thanks.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

kaido said:


> My boyfriend of 1,5 yrs started to say that he prefers my breasts to be bigger when we had been together for 3 moths. Lately he talks about it a lot and says that this is the main problem in our relationship (my breasts are of decent European "C" size, not superbig but not small either). His ex had really big breasts and now he says that in these 1,5 yrs he has realized how important big boobs are to him. He has admitted that he goes crazy when he sees a busty girl on the street, that he is like obsessed and desparately wants to touch the boobs and that sometimes he is even afraid to do something that is against the law (so strong is the instinct). He says that he likes my personality and also my body and thinks that I'm pretty but that he has this obsession and can't get rid of it.
> In the most of the other aspects we fit together very well, we have good "chemistry" between us and trust each other and we would like to spend our life with each other. But from the other side we have this big sexual problem (he says that he likes also me in bed and has a lot of sex with me but he says that he would take more care of my needs and do more foreplay etc etc if I had big boobs; now it is more about what he likes and needs in bed, not what I like in bed). Sometimes he is upset himself because he doesn't want to lose me, we are special to each other and we don't believe that it would be easy to find anybody else with so good chemistry in other aspects except sex. He has high sex drive (high but not too high, I wouldn't say that he is obsessed also with sex). He has suggested several times that I enlarge my breasts in one way or another...I don't think that I could ever accept that and I have said this to him...but this issue makes both of us worried..... I would appreciate answers from people who have gone through similar problems...can our relationship last? How do you think based on your experience? Can it last because of our good will despite this boob obsession? He is 40 yrs old and has had 2 girlfriends before me, both of them have larger boobs than I do...He has said to me that he has serious intentions with me and that this is the reason why he speaks about this problem so much, that he wants to "solve" it in some way and that he feels quite embarassed that he has this strong need to watch the videos where he is having sex with his ex because he misses the big boobs so much...but he is not in love with his ex, she left him in an ugly manner and he is still very angry at her (Sorry for my English, I'm not a native speaker). Thanks.


You should tell him you'll get bigger breasts when he grows a bigger penis. Tell him you want his penis at least 12 inches or bigger.

All kidding aside, he sounds like a jerk, you should just replace him, instead of altering your body.


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## jman (Jun 20, 2012)

get pregnant, boob problem solved


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## kaido (Jul 2, 2012)

Hi there, 
thanks for your quick answers...!
I can't take your advice to ask him to enlarge his penis because it is really big (we need special condoms that you can't even buy in usual pharmacies or supermarkets).... 

As regards babies he is hesitant at the moment because he wants to solve our "problem" first and be sure that we can stay together before we get any children.... Any other ideas? Thanks...


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

***But from the other side we have this big sexual problem (he says that he likes also me in bed and has a lot of sex with me but he says that he would take more care of my needs and do more foreplay etc etc if I had big boobs; now it is more about what he likes and needs in bed, not what I like in bed).***

He sounds like an immature, disrespectful, insensitive person to me, and I think you need to ask yourself why you're still with him.


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## mina (Jun 14, 2012)

f*ck him~ Oh my god girl, really?? tell him to get over himself!!


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

But it's not an "our" problem, it's a "him" problem. Unless you stuffed balloons into your bra when you where dating him, he knew roughly what your breast size was and he stayed with you.

Instead of saying his penis, tell him you'll get bigger boobs when he becomes an unselfish, non-crappy person. Wow, he won't please you because of your breast size. You really need a new man, one who's not a disrespectful jerkface.

Sorry, no other advice though. Good Luck. I feel you'll eventually get the boobs he wants, he'll grow bored of you and move on, leaving you with false boobs and a broken heart.


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## kaido (Jul 2, 2012)

Yes, I have told to him that he should become also more spiritual and more mature as a personality (that boobs are not the very central issue in this life but just one of many things from which he can get joy and inspiration) and he in principle agrees with that but then he says that he isn't sure how much time that would take and whether that would help... So my question is more about the sexual fetish and how to deal with it...I believe in his case it is more a compulsive need (or obsession) than being simply a jerk... Any experience with that?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, we've all had plenty of experience with jerks -- and trust me, honey, this is not a compulsive need. This is major jerkdom, visible from many miles away. Possibly from space. And no one ever becomes more mature and spiritual due to a suggestion from someone else. It would be nice if life worked that way, but it never does.

And you will stay because you love him, and you will stay until you find him in bed with someone else. I'm so very sorry, and I wish you well.


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## GhostRydr (Jun 2, 2012)

If you are over the age of 18 and seriously dont know what to do, then you can only blame yourself for what lies ahead with this guy


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## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

OMFG, This jerk is 40 years old and is saying stuff like he’d take care of your needs and do more foreplay if you had bigger boobs? WTF? No wonder he has only had two girlfriends, speaks volumes that does.

Kick his a$$ to the curb and get yourself a REAL man, you deserve better than what you are currently getting.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

ScaredandUnsure said:


> You should tell him you'll get bigger breasts when he grows a bigger penis. Tell him you want his penis at least 12 inches or bigger.
> 
> All kidding aside, he sounds like a jerk, you should just replace him, instead of altering your body
> 
> ...


:iagree:

Turn the tables on him a little....see what happens.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

get a boob job and there's a good chance you won't be with him much longer. There is a huge percentage of relationships ending after breast augmentation.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

My wife had smaller breasts when we met. After having children she didn't like the way her breasts were. She decided to get breast augmentation surgery even though I insisted I liked her breasts just the way they were. But she wanted it for herself and got the surgery. Now they are much larger than before. It took some getting used to but I love her breasts now just like I loved them before.

The point is that a woman is much more than her breasts and a guy is much more than his penis. I love my wife...not her breasts. They are a part of her but they are not her. If your boy friend cannot accept you for who you are then he does not deserve either you or your breasts. It sounds to me like even though he has a large penis he was cheated in the brain and testicle areas. Tell him to smarten up and grow a set.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

kaido said:


> Hi there,
> thanks for your quick answers...!
> *I can't take your advice to ask him to enlarge his penis because it is really big *(we need special condoms that you can't even buy in usual pharmacies or supermarkets)....
> 
> As regards babies he is hesitant at the moment because he wants to solve our "problem" first and be sure that we can stay together before we get any children.... Any other ideas? Thanks...


thats not the point.... tell him... you want a bigger penis!


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## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

Accipiter777 said:


> thats not the point.... tell him... you want a bigger penis!


Tell him you want a better _boyfriend_. Jeez. He sounds like an immature and selfish _ass_. This guy is _forty_? Either he's shopping for a trophy wife, or he has breast fetishism.

Either way - find yourself a man that will respect you as you are.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Getting breast implants to appease his fetish won't make him stay with you. His exes had big breasts and he's not with them anymore. Breasts don't fix relationships.

You can't change him. You can dump him and move on to a man who sees you as a person, not a pair of breasts.


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## kaido (Jul 2, 2012)

Thanks to all of you! Most of you suggest that I should leave my guy. I agree that it is the easiest option (if we think in a "rational", cold way). But I'm still in love with him, so I wonder what is your experience - have you seen someone who was "childish" and quite egocentrical in the beginning of the relationship but evolved to a better man later? (I mean, he wants to stay with me, he sees the "boobs issue" as something isolated from the rest of relationship, a sexual problem that maybe could be "fixed"). He was also very interested in other women's boobs while being together with his ex who had those large boobs but at that time he was not feeling the "deficit" (because her boobs are superbig). 
Have you seen a man whose love becomes more "mature" with time, a man whose understanding of relationship becomes deeper and more spiritual or it is usually vice versa and everything simply becomes even worse if a couple has a sexual difficulty from the very beginning?


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## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

Mmmm, I still cannot get over the fact that he said he would take more care of your needs and do more foreplay if you had bigger boobs and from a 40 year old man (more like boy)? I mean REALLY? What is that about? Seriously girl, run and run fast, alarm bells are ringing on this one.


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## samanthajones (Jul 2, 2012)

most people will never understand this and I have realized it is a kink. Also not all men are the same but, after I got my breasts done and i'm comfortable with them I wouldn't change the way I feel for anything. At first I did do it for him but, now I have thanked him multiple times.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

No at age 40 he isn't going to get better, he will probably get worse. He sounds like such a A hole. Chances are if you did get them enlarged he wouldn't change for you. I'm just blown away by the jerkdom of this man. Controlling, immature, selfish.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

kaido said:


> ...He has said to me that he has serious intentions with me and that this is the reason why he speaks about this problem so much, that he wants to "solve" it in some way *and that he feels quite embarassed that he has this strong need to watch the videos where he is having sex with his ex *because he misses the big boobs so much...


Wait. _What?!?!_

Am I the only one who saw this? OMG. 
No. Just....NO.

You shouldn't be in a relationship with a guy who won't please you in bed because he thinks your breasts are too small. And you should not be in a relationship with a guy who gets off watching videos of himself having sex with his ex! 

He says this is a sexual problem that needs to be fixed. What he really means by that is that he thinks _you_ need to be fixed. Why do you want to stay with someone who has already told you repeatedly that he finds you deficient?

And no, this will not get better. This is who your man is. It's who he's going to be next week, next year, next decade. I'm sorry.


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## kaido (Jul 2, 2012)

Yeah...
It's easy to choose between black and white, between something that is completely bad and super good. But my guy can be also gentle, charming, interesting, different than most other guys, he is not ONLY a jerk...Therefore this dilemma...


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## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

Stay with him then if he is that good, but the fact that you are on here asking advice says maybe he is not all that............


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

kaido said:


> Yeah...
> It's easy to choose between black and white, between something that is completely bad and super good. But my guy can be also gentle, charming, interesting, different than most other guys, he is not ONLY a jerk...Therefore this dilemma...


Yes, this is the same kind of thing abused women say to explain why they stay with their abusers.

Your bf is abusing you - he belittles you, he wants you to mutilate your body in order to appease his fetish, he won't please you in bed because he says your perfectly fine body isn't good enough for him, he is watching videos of sex with his ex, and he is blaming YOU for his abuse of you....he is abusing you emotionally. Very charming.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

kaido said:


> He has said to me that he has serious intentions with me and that this is the reason why he speaks about this problem so much, that he wants to "solve" it in some way and that he feels quite embarassed that he has this strong need to watch the videos where he is having sex with his ex because he misses the big boobs so much...


The salient point is that these are _his _issues, not yours, and he can't expect you to 'go under the knife' in order to help solve them for him.

He either wants to be with you or not - whatever your boob size.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Do you want people here to just tell you to stay with him. He's such a great guy, when he's not insulting your body?

Okay here we go.
You should totally stay with this man, he's such a fine catch. You're so lucky to have someone like this in your life. Is this what you want to hear? Am I doing it right?

You're not going to change him, he's 40 years old, if he isn't mature now, he never will be. He's got a thing for large breasts, apparently yours don't do it for him. He want YOU to go get major surgery done to alter your body so "your" problem is resolved? 

You can stay with him if you want, you can alter your body the way he wants, you can do whatever you want. But, I can tell you this man will not be satisfied with whatever you do. If you do get larger breasts, what's to say in 2 years he won't say "Get em bigger, I can't please you in bed until you do" and so on and so on. 

He should go get a lobotomy. He's not a nice man, no matter what kind and caring crap he does, it's fake. Just like the boobs he wants you to get.


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

my friend, you say the following:
(he says that he likes also me in bed and has a lot of sex with me but he says that he would take more care of my needs and do more foreplay etc etc if I had big boobs;
_________________

This has to be the most messed up manipulative thing i have ever heard. So he cannot endure foreplay because your boobs are not to his liking. 

I love boobs, butts and all sorts of lady parts. It is not unique to your man. Most men have obsession with some body part or another (or all). That doesn't give him an excuse to bribe you and manipulate you (which is what he is doing). 

What is going to happen when your skin wringles, when your your breast sag with gravity and all the other things that aging does? 

Beware, if a man is not married by 40 it is likely it is because he doesn't intend to. After all this will give him the option to trade in the old model for a new one when his no longer meets his fancy. 

I am not sure what your dating prospects are but, suffice it to say it will get harder as you get older. Try not to waste too much time with what would appear to be a superficial jerk who can't be bothered with foreplay because you don't have big enough breasts. 

Good luck. Sounds like you will need it with this guy. Trust me if you think you can't find "chemistry" with someone else you are wrong. I say run and don't look back.


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## kaido (Jul 2, 2012)

To make things more clear: his understanding of sex is quite boyish, he still can't get that men are different from women in this respect and that not exactly the same things work for a woman (but he knows and understands that something should be changed and is upset by this issue). He has a good heart but he is like an unexperienced teenager, so how to make him to GROW UP and a question: is it possible? He knows that he should grow up but isn't sure how much time that would take and whether it is possible so late in life. Thanks for your input.


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## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

You can't make somebody grown up IMO especially at the age of 40you can take the horse to water but you can't make it drink.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

kaido said:


> To make things more clear: his understanding of sex is quite boyish, he still can't get that men are different from women in this respect and that not exactly the same things work for a woman (but he knows and understands that something should be changed and is upset by this issue). He has a good heart but he is like an unexperienced teenager, so how to make him to GROW UP and a question: is it possible? He knows that he should grow up but isn't sure how much time that would take and whether it is possible so late in life. Thanks for your input.


Whether it's possible or not depends on the amount of work he's prepared to put into it. You can't help him with this. It's his problem and he needs to seek help for it himself.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> I can't take your advice to ask him to enlarge his penis because it is really big (we need special condoms that you can't even buy in usual pharmacies or supermarkets)....


Come on, this has troll thread written all over it...


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

kaido said:


> Yeah...
> It's easy to choose between black and white, between something that is completely bad and super good. But my guy can be also gentle, charming, interesting, different than most other guys, he is not ONLY a jerk...Therefore this dilemma...


He is different in most guys, in that he is probably below average when it comes to common sense. 

He is manipulating you. He knows exactly what he is doing and hides his intentions behind his boyish attitude towards sex. 

Tell him you will fix your average boobs when he fixes his average penis. Tell him about how you have the urge to watch the old sex tapes of your hung boyfriends before him, and sometimes when you see a black man in the street you just want to run up to him and touch his crotch. 

He'd probably leave you after that, which is what you should have done when he said the same to you. 

Good luck.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Somehow I see him singing this song:

Boobs A Lot - The Holy Modal Rounders - YouTube

Which would be fine if he were 20, but not at 40.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

kaido said:


> - have you seen someone who was "childish" and quite egocentrical in the beginning of the relationship but evolved to a better man later?


No. He is 40, it's quite likely that he's done all the maturing he's going to do. Anyway, what is the impetus for him to do all this changing? You're putting up with him as he is.


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## kaido (Jul 2, 2012)

Hi!
More than a year has passed since I was in this forum for the last time. During that year I have understood that my boyfriend has Aspergers syndrom and that his obsession for big boobs is one of his fixations (he read about the AS syndrom himself and in principle agrees that he is an aspie). Maybe this can be useful for somebody who is wondering what is wrong with her boyfriend. He is not simply a bad man asking for impossible things, he is an Aspie...


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

Ms. Kaido, I could sense that you're a nice person and genuinely love your boyfriend. I don't know what's an asperger's syndrome is, but now that you two understands that this is an identifiable mental health problem, I hope he will make efforts to get himself better with therapies and medications. I wish you much luck and success in your efforts!


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## kaido (Jul 2, 2012)

Thank you JohnLord!
The thing is that the Aspergers syndrome is an innate difference of brain functioning and can't really be treated with drugs...Yes, now the big question for me is if I can stay in this relationship in the longterm or not, this we must figure out together (therefore I would be thankful if people married to an Aspie man and having sexual problems similar to ours would share their experience if this can work in the long term...)
I fould a good description of the syndrom here in the forums (but there are many more out in the internet):

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...on/49610-anyone-married-aspergers-spouse.html


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Never get involved with someone who is more worried about body parts and how they look, than a persons heart and mind. He is superficial, and he wants you to be too.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

My husband is obsessed with my boobs.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I know, I was just making the comparison of being obsessed with "any big boobs" versus "my boobs". Big difference.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

To the OP, when you start to value yourself more and think more of yourself, then you will see you do not need to be with someone who places such little value on you as a person.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

OP, some comments about your situation:

One - you seem to be immune to posters' attempted sarcasm toward your boyfriend - perhaps due to your literal translation. Pretty funny actually.

Two - If your BF has mental issues that cause him to act inappropriately, that's not much of an improvement from him just being a jerk. Many issues related to mental problems can't be fixed. Even if there is the potential for them to be fixed, there is no guarantee.

Three - If he can't be fixed, what's next on his wish list for you? A butt job, tummy tuck, calf enlargement, face lift? (Sarcasm).

Four - Don't marry this guy until you know for sure; and be glad you found this out before you did.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

CristianoRonaldo7 said:


> I know that this may seem too simple and straightforward, but...
> 
> Your boyfriend does not respect you. He is more interested in boobs, and the thing that makes it even worse is the fact that it's not your boobs that he is interested in.
> 
> He does not deserve a real relationship with a woman. Please DO NOT even consider altering your body to please this sex addict. Yes, that is what he is.



As soon as I saw the title of this thread I already knew, before even reading it, that everyone would say the OP's boyfriend is a jerk, an a$$, she should leave him, etc. So predictable.

*But some people forget that men (and women) are allowed to have personal preferences!!!*

That doesn't mean he's a jerk, or a sex addict, immature baby, or anything else. Just because certain TAM readers aren't into big boobs doesn't mean that he shouldn't be into them. Now if he insisted on surgery or he will leave you, that's another story. But he's simply stating his preferences, as he's allowed to do. Certainly the OP is allowed to state her preferences; maybe she prefers men with beards, long hair, etc, and she wants him to change. Would that make her a "jerk"?

Having said that, NO ONE should get surgery if they don't want to. If larger breasts are a deal killer, then that's on him.

And frankly, I fail to see how this has anything to do with Aspergers. Just about every other guy on the planet is obsessed with big boobs, and they aren't mentally ill.


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## kaido (Jul 2, 2012)

Hi again!
About sarcasm in some of the replies - yes, it is easy to be very critical etc. if one doesn't really know what Aspergers syndrome is and if one has never really known or loved anyone who has this syndrome... My boyfriend has also other signs of this syndrome, not only his obsessional interest about one very narrow aspect in life (in his case boobs). So I am pretty sure that he is an Aspie and he too agrees that he is one. Therefore the topic of this thread has actually changed - it is not simply about a man having a sexual obsession or being simply a jerk. 

I am smart enough to understand that people have the right to have sexual preferences and that it is normal. But in his case it is really dominating his life and he has few other interests. But he is also sweet and charming etc (people who have known and loved an Aspie will understand me, he is not the "cold" version of Aspie who would never show affection etc., he is the "warm, depending, childish, looking-for-a-mother" versioin of it)

It is a question to people who have been married (or still are married) to an Aspie man and know these issues well from their own experience. The new question is: judging from your experience with your Aspie man, is it possible to overcome sexual problems caused by his narrow Aspy-ish fixation? Can the situation improve over the time? Has your Aspie man learned to become more mature as a personality over the time (with your help, of course)?


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