# A surprising message



## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

Background 

I moved out over a year ago, having asked my then w to move west with me, she refused, I told her in that case we need to use mediation. She refused and hired a f****ng shark last spring on the recommendation of so called friends. We have a prenup that would protect most of my assets, leaving her with a share of home equity - it was my 2nd marriage, my first cost me a real fortune.

So far my very bright, mild mannered atty, primarily a mediator, has cost me a small fortune, my stbx's atty has probably charged more. I expect if we go to litigation it will end up costing twice or more what it has so far.

This evening a good friend of mine, well known to the stbx, called me saying "I had a phone call, she wants to mediate".

Suggestions, thoughts, encouragement?

thanks.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

There is probably no harm in looking into mediating. She most likely has realized that she cannot afford her attorney and to fight any longer.

How much of a settlement do you have in place so far?


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Thinktoomuch,
Please take a bit of time to check out dadsdivorce.com, there is a lot of information there that helped me to cover all the bases re: asset protection and other important considerations..


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

She may have decided that she wants to finish the divorce so she can marry another guy. is there an OM in the picture?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

ThinkTooMuch said:


> Background
> 
> I moved out over a year ago, having asked my then w to move west with me, she refused, I told her in that case we need to use mediation. She refused and hired a f****ng shark last spring on the recommendation of so called friends. We have a prenup that would protect most of my assets, leaving her with a share of home equity - it was my 2nd marriage, my first cost me a real fortune.
> 
> ...



Probably indirectly from subtle encouragement by your atty (a mediator)?

I think mediation works if you know your bottom line and have the ability not to budge from it. Do you think the courts would give you a better deal than what you can get from mediation?


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## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

aug said:


> Probably indirectly from subtle encouragement by your atty (a mediator)?
> 
> I think mediation works if you know your bottom line and have the ability not to budge from it. Do you think the courts would give you a better deal than what you can get from mediation?


I know that my atty has not spoken to stbx, while her atty is taking a long vacation. stbx and her atty have delayed, delayed, and delayed.

I know my bottom line, and have decided that long distance mediation doesn't make sense - the stbx is not facing reality, one reason her atty may have decided to delay this process as long as possible hoping I'll cave. I won't, stbx has been an idiot and thinks that I will continue to support a healthy, well employed woman.

I had a long talk with my attorney today, she thinks and I agree that the stbx has realized the courts will not give what she is asking, that her best bet is negotiation. The likely judge is known to be quite fair to men and women, stbx is a liberated woman, kept her maiden name, has no children by me or any one else, and expects a significant inheritance.

I'll call stbx on Sunday, letting her stew over the weekend, and then ask for her best and final offer. If she doesn't come up with something reasonable I'll go to court. I and my atty think I have the evidence that will cause the court to agree with most of my arguments.

AFAIC stbx can move to an apartment or move in with her hoarding mother - perhaps a pile of newspapers will fall on both of them.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Looks like you've a fair assessment of your situation. It'll be interesting to see what she has in mind.


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