# Should i play my hand?



## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

So i've reached the angry phase of the separation process, I just had enough of the wife blameshifting me and her trying to convince everyone of how horrible i was. Well i got on her pretty bad today and she still doesn't admit to an affair and say they are just friends. I stayed on her and well her mom just texted me to leave her alone because she is crying (she has been emotionless thoughout the separation and now she breaks down) and she doesn't have another man. Her mom told me to prove it. my wife and her mom are best friends, but i'm not sure if wife told her about this. 

She is crying because maybe guilt is finally setting in???

anyway should i play my hand and present evidence to her mom??? or should i hold on to it for court?


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

You don't have to prove anything to her mom. You don't even have to acknowledge her in any way. Your wife is crying because it's starting to get real for her. Save it for later.


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## ScullyFan (Oct 23, 2011)

You don't have to explain anything to her mom who is probably on her side anyways. She is crying because she realized she no longer has you and doesn't have the OM either.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Do not do it until after the divorce. And then, once all is settled, let it fly.

However, hopefully by then you won't even care.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

What is the evidence you have? Is it an undisputable kind? 

I still say that you should move back in. And, you can also demand "poly" to prove her innocence if she adamantly denies any inappropriate relationship with the OM.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

i don't have the greatest evidence but i have word of mouth from alot of people that she was sleeping with this guy. And i have a message she sent someone saying she not a hoe she only slept with her husband (i was her first, we were young) and the OM (she used his name but i wont).

Is that good enough?

and i didn't mean show the evidence to just her mom to prove anything but to show them together that way she can't back her way out of it.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

tigercat said:


> i have a message she sent someone saying she not a hoe she only slept with her husband (i was her first, we were young) and the OM (she used his name but i wont).
> 
> Is that good enough?


Yes, the message from her admitting that she sleep with him is good enough. The fact that she had to defend herself from being called a hoe, is also an indication of what kind of wife she has been.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Expose it !


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## newlife94 (Aug 11, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> Expose it !


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Yes, expose it!!! If you don't, it is basically enabling her! I have learned this the hard way. My H had me convinced that our D was a personal event and we should not tell anyone.....wth?? No, what he really wanted was for me to be quiet so he could continue his A without anyone knowing. It is only "fun" when it is a secret. Do not let her feel comfortable running to him and complaining about her horrible marriage. The fog makes them say terrible things. 
Expose it quickly....I waited way too long and felt horrible the entire time.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

You owe her mother nothing at all.
Tell her mother the evidence will be with the divorce papers when she gets served.
Also leave your wife alone. I mean REALLY alone. Don't respond to any bait she places, whether she's blameshifting or slating you. Just let everyone else know what she was doing.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I would tell her mom straight up "I am not treating your daughter poorly. You know my marriage means the world to me. She is having an affair with X and ti's been going on since/about Month/Year. She has admitted to that she had sex with him and said XYZ."


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

No, dont expose yet.

Continue to gather evidence.

Why dont you buy a few voice activated recorders (VAR) and plant them around the house and tape one underneath the seat of her car?

Are you planning on divorce?

Oh, as a rule, her mother wont be on your side.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

aug said:


> Oh, as a rule, her mother wont be on your side.


 Exactly. My MIL basically said "well, he just needs to get over it". That damn hag will never step foot in my house again for as long as I have breath in me.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Well, I agree that if you could get even more solid evidence of your W's A, it would be great. But, you are not even living there anymore. Is there any chance you can get more evidence living away?


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

its hard to get more evidence than what i have at my disposal. I can only get messages off her facebook she is writing, she doesn't know i'm able to read what she writes. The only more reliable evidence would be to get actual video of them having sex, i don't have money for a hidden camera so that is out of the question.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Don't bother with the mother. Shell defend her daughter.

Keep your sources secret or they will get shutdown on you.

Have you filed yet?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

No, she is the one that wants the divorce so i was gonna make her file. She can use her money if thats what she wants.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Is the MSG you have from Facebook?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

And, you have no plan moving back in?


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

yea, the message i have is from facebook it must have been an IM. She could delete all her messages from her mobile phone but i dont' think it deletes them from the computer. She doesn't have access to a computer so she doesn't know i can read her IM conversations. I don't want to show her the evidence because then she will know i have access to her account and will change her password, so i've been saving stuff i find.

Sadcalifornian, our housing issues are confusing. She talked me into getting the house at the beginning of the year and of course i always gave in. I knew we would have trouble affording the house, unless she could keep a good job. Well the place she worked, business started slowing down and the owner cut everyones hours to nothing. Instead of her recongnizing this and finding a new job she just stayed so we wasn't bringing in the income needed to support the bills we had. Once she told me she loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore, I realized i was late on all our bills (she stopped paying everything). I know i should have watched our finances better but at the time things were good and i mean , shouldn't u be able to trust your own wife with paying stuff yall worked together to get? I moved out and i'm currently catching up on all the late bills i have that i had collection notices sent to me about. I had to borrow money from a relative to stop my truck from being repossessed. 

The house is something else that wasn't getting paid because she didn't have the income to help. It is now on the way of being foreclosed and i keep telling her she needs to get out, that the finance company is saying she can't live there if she doesn't pay. I think she is so delirious and in the fog that she doesn't see the consequences for anything. She asks me why when i tell her that she needs to move out NOW because she can't live there anymore. She is no listening to my warnings and going on about her life like she can live there for free. She will come home one day and not have anywhere to go because she isn't listening to my warnings. I would love to move into the house and save it from foreclosure but my income isn't enough alone. I can't get her out for me to maybe rent it or sell it.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

tigercat said:


> *She will come home one day and not have anywhere to go because she isn't listening to my warnings.*


So let her face the consequences of her stupidity. You've done more than your fair share of trying to help her out, now it's time for her to face the music when they come and seize the house and literally kick her to the curb.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

morituri said:


> So let her face the consequences of her stupidity. You've done more than your fair share of trying to help her out, now it's time for her to face the music when they come and seize the house and literally kick her to the curb.


I agree, i tried to talk her out of the house but she wanted it. Now a few months later after taking this huge step , she decides she doesn't want us anymore. She seems to have given up on life but has now discover partying. She will face the consequences!!! She is rewritting history and saying i took everything from her and left her with nothing. Truth is i did everything i could for her and sacrificed alot, I went without alot of the time so she could get what she wanted but she has her head so far up her azz, that she doesn't see that or appreciate everything i did. She wouldn't have anything if it wasn't for me because i took her out of a bad situation. She just doesn't see the consequences of her actions and puts all the blame on me. She says i should have a better job, but i've had the same job for the past 10 years and i'm resposible, her on the other hand always finds something wrong with every job she gets. 

Like i said i tried the house thing because we were supposed to be a team, but she said screw the team. Maybe her losing her home and everything in it might help her to wake up. She thinks she is doing whats best for her but she is just being selfish. Sad to see the house go and i know it will destroy my credit but i just can't do teamwork alone.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

So, she is in this A as a part of her "escapism", huh? So, what is your game plan? Are you going to let her stay there until the house is foreclosed by bank? Or, are you going to file for D? Have you tried hard 180 by cutting off all communication and finances? 

Have you exposed to people with the evidence you have? Or, do you plan to hold on to the evidence for now fearing you losing your snooping source?


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

tigercat said:


> No, she is the one that wants the divorce so i was gonna make her file. She can use her money if thats what she wants.


In doing this you are letting her feel as if she has full control of the situation.
File yourself, take all the actions yourself and don't even tell her. The minute she gets served with the papers, added to that the home reposession, reality will hit her harder than the iceberg hit the Titanic.
You on the other hand have your head in reality so you will have and will be taking all the right steps to secure your future and wellbeing.

Best wishes N-B


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> So, she is in this A as a part of her "escapism", huh? So, what is your game plan? Are you going to let her stay there until the house is foreclosed by bank? Or, are you going to file for D? Have you tried hard 180 by cutting off all communication and finances?
> 
> Have you exposed to people with the evidence you have? Or, do you plan to hold on to the evidence for now fearing you losing your snooping source?


I already told her the finance company called and told me no1 should be living in the house because the notes are not being paid. They are in the process of taking "legal action" and sending me papers to sign. I would think she only has days left in the house, so she can stay in if she wants and doesn't think this is a reality. The reality is that she doesn't believe the warnings and isn't taking it serious and will lose everything she has, with no place to go. Since the separation, i have cut her from the financial picture and have taken full control, so i can get myself out of this debt. When i left i took all her checks, debit card and credit card, then went and closed our joint account and transfer everything to an account for me. I had cut communication from her for 2 weeks but then it was my turn with the kids and i need to talk to her, haven't been able to hold up on the NC after (keep getting into it with her on phone). I'd like to play my evidence but like i said i'd hate to lose my source, especially when i could get something good from it, if i hold out long enough. I'm not real familiar with the 180 but i have been working on myself since the split (I've stopped doing things she complained about, i make sure my time with the kids is quality 1 on 1 time, i started excercising, and i have a good outlook and staying positive and confident). 

BREAKING NEWS*** Ok so i get into it with her last night we texted each other these long messages, she was telling me i didn't do this or that. I was telling her she walked out and betrayed our little family by going outside the marriage. I was relentless because she still doesn't admit anything and if i can't get her to admit it, i at least want to make her feel some kind of guilt (i'm trying to break through her shell that she put up). She doesn't see the clear picture but i'm trying to show her that she is doing wrong!!! 

Anyway after i wrote a long text, she didn't send me anything back for about 2 hours so i went to bed. Well i wake up this morning and i have a text from her....."would you sleep with me one last time?" ,,,,,Could someone tell me what the hell is that all about?? She has to be up to something, if she slept around then i don't want to because she might have an STD that she might be trying to give me (i know thats bad but shes been heartless since this started) or maybe she is pregnant and by having sex with me again she might try to claim its my baby.. I don't know what she is doing but i don't like it either way.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

She continues to hold out in the house till getting kicked out, where do you think she will get to go in such event? 

Her reply asking you to sleep with her one last time means she has decided to admit what she has done. I certainly wouldn't recomment sleeping with her at this point for several reasons including STD, but I think you should reply that you are willing to meet her if she wants. It may provide a setting for heart to heart talk without any more guise and deceipts. 

If you see her, save your words and try to let her talk mostly.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

"if she slept around then i don't want to because she might have an STD that she might be trying to give me (i know thats bad but shes been heartless since this started) or maybe she is pregnant and by having sex with me again she might try to claim its my baby.. "

Exactly, be very careful. Have you told her you know who the other man is?


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

I have a hunch she is pregnant.


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## MAKINGSENSEOFIT (Oct 24, 2011)

I can't help but have to tell you to please be proactive here and protect yourself. Standing on the sidelines waiting for her to file papers is a very bad move. You will serve you papers that rewrite history and make you look like a monster.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Tigercat,

You don't seem to have any evidence. The message you posted here is her claiming she did not sleep with anyone else.

This is the fourth time I'm telling you....

Move back into YOUR house and begin to gather the evidence you need.

You are setting yourself up for a lot of pain by not Being proactive here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

You cannot file for divorce due to adultery if you screw her again. Then it can be construed as you forgiving her. Or that it was part of an open marriage. Just maintain course. When she is out of the house. Then ask her and her mom out to dinner. When the conversation turns to her cheating and mom defends. That's when you read the post about her screwing the OM. Then get up, pay the check and leave. And let mom and daughter deal with the fallout. Do not sleep with her again. Encourage the STD test.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

bryanp said:


> I have a hunch she is pregnant.


That is a very good point.

tigercat, in many cases, the person who files first gets the advantage, consult with a divorce attorney. In the meantime go check out *Dad's divorce* and read the experiences of other men who have gone through divorce.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Sleeping with her now would:
- reset the clock
- be seen legally as reconciliation
- make you 1/2 responsible for her debts up to this time
- if she's pregnant, could trap you into legally and financially responsibility for the OM's child.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

how about audio capturing them having sex

var's cost $30


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Stop playing the hope game.
Do NOT sleep with her at all.
File the divorce yourself.
Take actions to protect and prepare yourself.
She has a **** storm brewing up that wizards sleeve of hers and I think you better make damn sure that you've got some better magic to counter it with.
Stop stalling, TAKE ACTION.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Yep, she's preggers.

If true,and you fo not sleep with her,you won't need any other evidence.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

Shaggy said:


> Yep, she's preggers.
> 
> If true,and you fo not sleep with her,you won't need any other evidence.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is what I think, she may just had unprotected sex with the OM and is worried she could be preggers.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

And if she is, I think somehow reality may just set in


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

This is all mental mastrabation.

Really who knows what the f*ck she is thinking... ? She is in a mental and emotional sh*tstorm compounded by a massive chemical imbalance in her brain caused by her affair... 

Its not important what shes thinking. You wont figure it out, and even if you do its doubtful it makes any sense to a sane person... trying to follow her thoughts, excuses and explanations is chasing your tail.

Stop trying to figure her out, Get out of her head!! Its a f*cking mess in there and will only suck you into the craziness. 

Take action. 

Repeat:

TAKE ACTION.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> This is all mental mastrabation.
> 
> Really who knows what the f*ck she is thinking... ? She is in a mental and emotional sh*tstorm compounded by a massive chemical imbalance in her brain caused by her affair...
> 
> ...


I hear ya, her head is so screwed up right now that i don't think she even knows what she is doing. After i got the message from last night i never replied anything. Well some time this morning she send the same thing again, "would you sleep with me one last time?", well i still don't reply then she sends me this gem "just letting you know i just got back from the health unit, i don't have anything" lol...i don't know if she is telling the truth that she went but i do know if she did go to get checked then she is admitting she slept around. If she is pregnant it will be a wake up call because this OM doesn't give a sh*t about her. She has no1 to blame but herself for her actions. I never had any intentions of going sleep with her because she seems to be up to something and i lost all trust i had in her. I just wanted to know what some of u thought she was trying to pull because she is being really suspicious.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Go see her and take a home pregnancy test with you. Tell her you want to see if she is pregnant before sleeping with her. 

Once you see the results, you can decide if you want to sleep with her or not.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Like I said before, her txt msg is hinting that she is now ready to admit what she has done. Since it's not like you didn't know already you can continue ignore it to see how she change her tunes in coming days. Or, you can take this opportunity to see her in person to have more honest talk about what the hell she's been up to. But, no matter what STD results she claims, do not sleep with her!


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

No I don't want to sleep with her, thats why if i meet her, we will meet in a public location. I'm not taking the chance of going to the house and she starts being all over me, that would be hard to stop if something got going (hey i'm a man, cut me some slack lol)....sooooo i don't even want to take that chance, if she has something to tell me , it will be in a parking lot or at a resturant. I don't believe she went get checked for STDs...i'd have to be there for those tests and result before i would even consider sleeping with her again, if ever.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Only expose if you have enough evidence so hat you will always be completely satisfied that you know the truth. In other words, once you expose, your sources may dry up.
I know of many Betrayed Spouses who jumped the gun and exposed prematurely. Despite the evidence being very solid, from an outsider's perspective, anyway, they often have doubts down the road and ruminate abut whether they got it right.
So, until you are certain that you will have no future doubts, hold off and gather.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You can also lie about what you know.

If you know the OM name, you can say you hired a PI, and the PI gave you the details, but you don't know who the PI talked too. Perhss OM bragged to a buddy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

PI is the absolute best investment I ever made. He got airtight evidence in a hurry. It confirmed my suspicions and got rid of all doubt.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

so should i say yea to her question, show up and just try to talk to her??? do you really think she is ready to admit to her mistakes??? to me it kind still seems like she is being selfish and is up to something. I don't want to go and mess up my case by her doing something stupid. Like i said she could be trying to get me there to have sex with me and say she is pregnant for me but its really OM, she could be trying to give me some STD she caught, or she might just say i raped her if we have sex, i don't know what her intentions are. She might have some advice from someone like one of you said, she will try to sleep with me so it seems we reconciled and the adultrey would be thrown out the window.....i just don't know what she is up to


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Sweet Jesus ...DON`T HAVE SEX WITH HER!!

I wouldn`t even speak to her until I moved my ass back into MY house and got the evidence I needed to get her to admit and maybe start working on fixing it or working on divorcing.

But that`s just me.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Presumably, you have the capacity to say no to sex, eh?


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

I suspect several possible motives.

Either she is starting to wake up from her fog and trying to reconcile by offering sex. Mind you, she may still stick to her story that there has been no sexual involvement with OM, or she may come clean asking for a chance for R.

Or, she has ulterior motive suggested by some other posters. But, frankly, the notion of her having been pregnant or trying to pass on her STD to you seem a bit far fetched to be honest. The paternity of baby is easily verified these days. The only possibility is if she is indeed pregnant she may demand you finance her abortion a couple months down the line convincing you it's yours. 

Or, maybe she is still confused as to what she wants, and she is trying to figure it out by sleeping with you one last time? 

Frankly, God knows what she is thinking honestly. But, as long as you make sure not sleeping with her, it may be worthwhile using this opportunity to have a face to face talk with her. Meeting her in public place seems a good idea. You must control yourself.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

In most states, any child born in the marriage is considered a child of the marriage. Even if the husband is not the biological parent he is legally responsible for that child. 

You'd better consult with a divorce attorney to protect yourself from any legal responsibilities which may arise from any pregnancy by your wife.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

morituri said:


> In most states, any child born in the marriage is considered a child of the marriage. Even if the husband is not the biological parent he is legally responsible for that child.
> 
> You'd better consult with a divorce attorney to protect yourself from any legal responsibilities which may arise from any pregnancy by your wife.


Wow really? how is that right? people cheat on their spouses all the time and i'm sure they wind up pregnant by OM/OW sometimes, but for the BS to be responsible for their wife's sneaky actions is just wrong. I just don't understand that. If the husband is found to not be the father before he puts his name on the birth certificate, he shouldn't be responsible just because he was married to the woman.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

tigercat said:


> Wow really? how is that right? people cheat on their spouses all the time and i'm sure they wind up pregnant by OM/OW sometimes, but for the BS to be responsible for their wife's sneaky actions is just wrong. I just don't understand that. If the husband is found to not be the father before he puts his name on the birth certificate, he shouldn't be responsible just because he was married to the woman.


Legally he is because he is responsible for any children his wife has. No it is not fair. The law is not fair to the husband. It is meant for the welfare of the child. A husband has to legally deal with it in a timely manner. If he waits too long the court will insiste he support the child anyway. 

A man unknowingly raising another man's child is way more common that we would like to believe. Some kids end up looking like a best friend, the pool guy or a personal trainer. Go figure.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

tigercat said:


> I hear ya, her head is so screwed up right now that i don't think she even knows what she is doing. After i got the message from last night i never replied anything. Well some time this morning she send the same thing again, "would you sleep with me one last time?", well i still don't reply then she sends me this gem "just letting you know i just got back from the health unit, i don't have anything" lol...i don't know if she is telling the truth that she went but i do know if she did go to get checked then she is admitting she slept around. If she is pregnant it will be a wake up call because this OM doesn't give a sh*t about her. She has no1 to blame but herself for her actions. I never had any intentions of going sleep with her because she seems to be up to something and i lost all trust i had in her. I just wanted to know what some of u thought she was trying to pull because she is being really suspicious.



Some STD tests takes about a week for the results.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

tigercat said:


> No I don't want to sleep with her, thats why if i meet her, we will meet in a public location. I'm not taking the chance of going to the house and she starts being all over me, that would be hard to stop if something got going (hey i'm a man, cut me some slack lol)....sooooo i don't even want to take that chance, if she has something to tell me , it will be in a parking lot or at a resturant. *I don't believe she went get checked for STDs...i'd have to be there for those tests and result* before i would even consider sleeping with her again, if ever.


You can ask for a hardcopy of the test results. Note that some test results will take a week or more.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

You can always communicate by texts or emails if there's anything important. At the very least, all these could be evidence in writing.

Or, if you meet in person, bring a VAR (voice recorder) with you.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Entropy3000 said:


> A man unknowingly raising another man's child is way more common that we would like to believe. Some kids end up looking like a best friend, the pool guy or a personal trainer. Go figure.


This is a reprehensible evil situation. Women who do this have no conscience.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

michzz said:


> This is a reprehensible evil situation. Women who do this have no conscience.


:iagree:


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

michzz said:


> This is a reprehensible evil situation. Women who do this have no conscience.


Unfortunately this happened to a very close friend of mine. He has since split from the scabby slapper, but raises the child and takes him on weekends and holidays.
As far as he's concerned the child (9 yr old now)doesn't know and as the situation has already f****d his head up, there is no point f*****g up the kids head by revealing all.

But it's true, the law sucks towards the father in these cases and really needs to be looked at.

Although here in the UK there are small steps being made to make women accountable for paternity fraud - very small and very slow steps btw


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> I suspect several possible motives.
> 
> Either she is starting to wake up from her fog and trying to reconcile by offering sex. Mind you, she may still stick to her story that there has been no sexual involvement with OM, or she may come clean asking for a chance for R.
> 
> ...


A WS's fog is a scary thing, i'm not sure what her motives are for wanting this sex one last time but i do feel she is up to something. I have come to realize i have not control over her and her thoughts so i need to move on, if she wakes up eventually to realize she had a good thing she threw away, sorry. Like you said she could be coming around and wanting one last time to maybe sort out her feelings and see what she really wants, but only she knows. Until she shows some signs of remorse for what she did, i WILL NOT have sex with her. 

I would hope she wouldn't hate me that much that she would want to pass a STD on to me (thats just crazy and stupid) but with the fog you never know. As for her being pregnant, I pray she isn't because, the OM isn't there to be with her hes there for sex. She has enough on her plate right now with our 2 kids and having to straighten her life out, get it on track as a single parent. She doesn't need another kid right now because she can't even take care of her self.

I keep accusing her of sleeping with OM but she has stuck solidly to her story and doesn't deter. She is my wife and we are still married so i think i have a right to know what she has done. I don't have rock solid evidence to prove she has but from what i have she is admitting she has (why would u tell a random person u did if you really didn't)?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

You're beginning to get it grasshopper. :smthumbup:


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> You're beginning to get it grasshopper. :smthumbup:


Master, if grasshopper takes the pebble away from your hand, will it be time for him to leave TAM? Or is TAM like 'Hotel California' where "you can check out anytime you want but you can never leave"


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

morituri said:


> Master, if grasshopper takes the pebble away from your hand, will it be time for him to leave TAM? Or is TAM like 'Hotel California' where "you can check out anytime you want but you can never leave"


lol, I'm sticking around.. Although i am beginning to understand my situation a little better, I am still learning alot from the other posters here. Things that work, don't work, advice for others, other peoples stories, it all helps me feel better and gives me a better understanding of what everyone involved in a M w/ Affairs feels.

I too like everyone, wish i wasn't in this situation but i can't do anything to change it so i might as well make the best of it.


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