# H won't give oral



## fairydust (Mar 28, 2009)

I love oral sex but my H won't do it. He only has a hand few times and then he was drunk or high. (which he doesn't do anymore thankfully) Of course, he likes BJ and I like giving them but I'm really missing out on something I love.

Any suggestions?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

assuming your trim and clean, i cannot relate to his lack of desire in that dept.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

oh i can relate to this. 
i have been trying for a yr to convince my H to do more.
He has for about 5 secs a month and it really put me under stress.
c to me sex is the whole package.
not him getin blow jobs all the time .
amongst other marriage issues, i have now called time on our relationship. 
now he says he wil try , duh he had a yr and every month i asked and asked. i got tired, fed up of asking. then H said it put him of, koz i kept asking.
i made so many gestures and communicated how i felt. etc etc / i even stopped on him, but not even that worked. 
then the other day, i got a piece of paper and in huge letters. said 
"i wanted oral, everytime we had sex." just to get the point across.

suddenly he gets the message- yeh when the relationship is in dire straits. nah time for me now and getin myself back on track.

not much of a suggestion - but i think you'll be asking and not getin


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

my H was reluctant to give oral. he loves BJ's too. so i stopped giving BJ's. im not sure this was the best route, though. we've talked about it, and sometimes fought about it, and he likes it now. maybe you just need to get him to talk about it more.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

I can't relate to this, as a man as long as my wife is trimmed up down there, I love giving her oral.

However, try telling him you'll trade, he gives you an orgasm from oral and you'll give him an orgasm from a BJ. No BJs unless its after he gives you oral.


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

Do you know why he won't? Some guys have issues with this for a variety of reasons...I personally love to do so, more so than receiving oral.

Find out exactly what the problem might be...if it's something silly like a taste/smell issue, and that's not to say you're unclean, but some guys can't handle the aromatic or sensory envelopment of doing this...but if it's something to that effect, there are things you can do to counter this that are easy and fairly fun...

Blessed Be,
Preacher


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## T-Dub (Feb 2, 2009)

Dokie, I agree 100% with you, nothing like the taste of a women.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

If he's not going to give you oral, then I would not be giving it to him. Might sound kind of mean, but honestly, why should you give him a blow job, if he's unwilling to go down on you? That's so unfair.

You will have to compromise, and that compromise might just be, "hey, you don't want to do oral, so, I won't do it either, there we're square!"

that is just me. If my hubby couldn't do that , no matter what the reason, then I spose I'd have to return, or not return , as it were... the favor. ;-)
lucky for me, I love giving him oral, and he loves giving me oral.


I am sure you're very clean, shaved, and smell nice. Most women don't have a problem in that area, so there isn't a reason why he should refuse to do it.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

I agree 100% with Marina, if he won't give it to you, don't give it to him, see how long that takes before he notices you stopped.


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## WhatToThink (Mar 30, 2009)

I agree with the comment that says no bjs unless he gives you oral. What is fair is fair... what's good for the goose is good for the gander, you get the idea. Lay down the law. BUT, make sure that you are trimmed or shaved cleanly, freshly showered, etc so that he can enjoy the experience. Remember to that a LOT of his reluctancy may be attributed to insecurity. Therefore, make sure that you give him all the signs that you are enjoying it (but don't overdo it). Remind him that it takes time to a girl there (even up to or more than 20 minutes sometimes), especially when under stress. This will make him feel more comfortable when it is taking a while, he wont lose hope as easily. You can also try doing 69 (if it is uncomfortable doing top and bottom, try it when you are laying on your back and he is laying on his side) because this will ensure that both of you are being pleased at the same time and it increases the pleasure all the way around. Don't let him "get there" until you do though. But once you've gotten there, make it worth the time and effort for him


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

I'm starting to think that normal girls like oral. I love the idea of giving my girl head but I recently found out there is something seriously wrong with her, maybe that explains it.

As far as your husband, it sucks that he is not willing to share in your desire. There's a key word....share. I dont think he enjoys sharing. Does he seem like he just takes and takes?

You shouldn't have to compromise with him....all of this should just turn him on...unless its something that you want to do to him...like strap on dildo or something....thats different. But if its something you want done to you...it should turn him on.


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## fairydust (Mar 28, 2009)

Tim I think you hit the nail on the head... He is just a taker and not a giver in alot of ways.

Believe me I told him several times what I needed and like but he says he just doesn't like to do it. Sexually I just don't think he's very satisfying. I don't think he really knows or cares to know what turns a women on. Like Tim said he was always a taker.

I try not giving him BJ's but then I always end up doing it because I like to and I miss not doing it but I need to just stop it. I hate not getting the pleasure I deserve.


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

Have him read Cosmo...seriously...I was reading Playboy and Cosmo and a lot of women's magazines when I was a kid and that helped me tremendously when it came to learning how to please a woman.

Blessed Be,
Preacher


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

as someone who loves women period. i could not imagine not giving my wife everything she wants and deserves especially oral and however long she wants it for too. lucky for me, my wife has what i guess you could call a neutral smell and taste. there were a few women/girls back in the day in highschool when i was a strapping young lad who stayed clean but just didnt quite cut it down there...it sure as hell wasnt roses and daisy's..here is a rule of thumb for any man..." if you are working your way down there and you can smell it by the time you get to the belly button, dont go any farther". also do what i do...go for older women, they for the most part have theyre head screwed on straight and are more funner in bed .(and yes i used the word funner) what can i say, i like to make people laugh. when i was 22 in the navy i had a one night stand with a 45 year old woman and it was awesome...but thats for another time.


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## Fritz (Apr 3, 2009)

I love giving oral. I could do it all day long. My W loves it and those were in our happy time!


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

fairydust said:


> Tim I think you hit the nail on the head... He is just a taker and not a giver in alot of ways.
> 
> Believe me I told him several times what I needed and like but he says he just doesn't like to do it. Sexually I just don't think he's very satisfying. I don't think he really knows or cares to know what turns a women on. Like Tim said he was always a taker.
> 
> I try not giving him* BJ's *but then* I always end up doing it because I like to* and _*I miss not doing it*_ but I need to just stop it. I hate not getting the pleasure I deserve.


Holy crap that is such a turn on. 
My wife told me before though that she likes the idea of having two guys, one on each end...but thats just so selfish to me, its part of her self centeredness. Otherwise she just has _no interest in head whatsoever_, me giving or receiving. 

*Your husband is very lucky to have you!* I'm so jealous now.


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

TIM- i bet you wouldnt turn down 2 women at once would you?...i think you are the one being selfish.the bible says share...lol, but seriously..at least she is being honest with you. most women wouldnt say that..id share with my wife...but it would have to be someone we know and can agree on together..not the homeless guy that smells like pee down the street that lives behind the safeway near the two dumpsters that are green and filled with jugs of rotten milk and the other one has graffitti all over it that says west side posse's rule. not that guy.


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## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

Well I have expressed that I fantasize two women at once and she doesnt like that, even gets mad. Like I said, I know her well and she is very self centered. Having another woman in bed would divert attention from her. This is why she gets mad.

Sounds odd for a man, but I'm not interested in gay sex either. So I dont like lesbian sex, its actually a turn off for me. Just to put my feelings in perspective, I dont think my wife would like the idea of me being bi.... 

That said, if we were to get another girl in bed, that girl would not be allowed to touch me and I would not be allowed to touch her. 
Talk about self centered.


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## MMA_FIGHTER (Feb 2, 2009)

you got a point there...***** sex dont do it for me either...
in that i think it would have to be tit for tat...with 3somes..i had one opportunity to have a 3some when i was younger with some girl and another male friend but when the time came i couldnt go through with it and thats why we named her Gumby but thats a different story...funny tho.
but i guess thats life. you and your wife should find some balance...tell her that if its something that she really wants to do and she has got your permission you will let her do it only if you are involved and lay down some ground rules first but, also tell her that when she is done you get to live out one of your fantasies too with the same rules that were applied to her. 9 times out of 10 when it all comes to it and everything is ready...she might not go through with it cause of nervousness and all kinds of other things.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

my two cents.
Unless (as many others have said) he has some issue about taste or cleaniness etc.. it seems he could be simply selfish. I cannot imagine that. What makes me crazy (really turned on) in bed is feeling the other getting off, so the more I can figure out where the buttons are and then exploit them, the better.
Simply getting off or being serviced does very little for me, give then take is definatly better. 
I think the witholding might get him to come around. 
Take turns, just doing that? One day he gets head, next day you.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Yes I'm sure.. Its ok but I cant rememebr the last time I did that. Its way more fun with both. If I even tried that, as soon as Im into it and get turned on, I have to get mine. (giving it to her)  get it?


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Definately, feeling her getting off is what actually drives me. I LOVE IT.

I have to add then if she's happy.... i find myself happy (go figure).


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Star said:


> Fair play to ya!


? Not sure the meaning of that phrase. remember your talking to a man hahaha.


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

I'm stuck in the opposite boat. I want to give her oral, but she doesn't want me to!



63Vino said:


> Definately, feeling her getting off is what actually drives me. I LOVE IT.
> 
> I have to add then if she's happy.... i find myself happy (go figure).


I'm with you on this one. I LOVE seeing my wife get off. Much more mentally pleasing that just getting off myself.


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

Star said:


> OMG!!! why any woman would not want this done to them is beyond me!! it's just the best feeling, ever.has she said why?


She's self conscious about her scent and taste. I've told her multiple times that I love both and that I love giving it. She lets me do it more often than she used to, but I'm never sure she's entirely comfortable with it. She still won't go for a 69 though.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Great...thanks a *&%^&^ LOT


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Star said:


> you could go in there with her and soap up her breasts ect to get her going and I bet you will not make it out of the bathroom before she is begging you to go down there.


got me going a bit.


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

I understand what Fairydust is/has gone through. I'm in the same boat. Consistently I've talked to him about it and so far not a thing. Even though I try to talk to him about it maybe once or twice, max, a month, it ends the same way.

FYI I am crying as I write this. Reason being, I've wanted this since I first heard about it. Hubby has said that he did it once and that would be it. He would never do it again. The thing is though, I don't remember him doing it all. He said I passed out. Can't tell if it was before or after. Though to me it doesn't matter. It is the same as if he never did it before.

What hurts the most is that he when we watch porn together, most if it has the guy giving head to the girl. When it comes that part I try to ignore it or focus on my hubby.

His response to us talking about it and why he refuses to do it is because to him the whole thing of a guy eating out a girl is disgusting. He can't stand the thought of doing it, or so he has told me. Before December 2k9 he told me never to bring it up again. So I haven't, but still what can I do to get him to change his mind? The only time I don't shave is when I'm pregnant. I've tried to get him to help me when it comes to that, but he won't.

I really don't know what to do about this. It hurts so much. So far I have read the first page of posts. Even though it felt like I was being ripped apart layer by layer. If you want to offer advice, please pm me.

~Edit~
He also states so much how he wants to please me. Yet I've found it to be the other way around. He says it but never truly goes through with it. Is that screwed up or what? Any way I can get it so that it is actually what he states?


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## webdings (Nov 14, 2009)

I feel your pain. I've been married for 10 yrs and I haven't received oral since before we got married. I love to get it but he just won't. I quit giving BJs about a yr ago. Nevertheless, he is going through depression so I haven't had anything in about 8 months. I'm really getting frustrated!!!!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Good grief - what a depressing thread. So many people just not getting what they want in so many different ways - physical and emotional.

If it makes your spouse happy, and does no harm to you - JUST DO IT!


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## triton1984 (Nov 20, 2009)

:iagree:

Absolutely love the taste and scent of my wife and amazed that other men don't like to please their women this way.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

I cant get over this thread myself. When I was early 20's someone mentioned a funny phrase to me that :
Men.... they spend the first nine months of their lives trying to get out, and the entire rest of their lives tring to get back in!

Well im going head first!!! (both ways)

I would be interested (if there are any reading) to hear from any men that dont like to give their lady oral as to why?
Is it a selfish thing? Do you think its dirty? DO you think SHE's dirty? What is IT?!?!?!


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## webdings (Nov 14, 2009)

I would also like to know what it is that men don't like about it. It drives me absolutely wild whenever I did get it, please, can I get it again!!! 10 yrs is too long!!!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

yeah, i'm with the rest of the guys, barring major hygiene problems, i'm all in


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## BlondieattheBeach (Apr 5, 2020)

I totally understand this frustration. I am quite sexual, always have been - and take very good care of myself and my husband. My husband seems to appreciate the fact that I am like this; however, he absolutely will not go down on me. He says that he has a gag reflex and he just cannot do it. Before you ask, yes I am shaved, smell good, and all about reciprocating. Is this crazy? What can I do? Please help!!


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

You just replied to a 10 year old zombie thread. WHY?


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