# Likes and dislikes



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

One of the negative things that my x brought to my attention during the divorce was my lack of enthusiasm for our vacation(with her family) to the beach last year. We had been 3 times in 4 years, and I wasn't too overwhelmed. It's a long drive, costly, and we would be gone a week. 

Am I the only person who isn't crazy about the beach? I don't care if I ever see a beach again. It seems like everywhere I look where I live, people are heading off to the beach somewhere and posting pics all over facebook. So, maybe my wife was right on and I'm the scrooge for not liking the beach.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Southbound: You say you weren't overwhelmed, if you showed this outrightly, and she felt it , I can see why she was irritated with you, and if you made comments of the cost where , for her, it was worth the $$, living our lives goes so fast, we must do what we enjoy. Hate to say it but you do sound a stick in the mudd here. 

Come on, the beach is beautiful, if you do not live near it , one SHOULD be excited about beholding this handiwork of God. I get that you often went with her family and this alone could have wore on your enthusiasm. If a husband wanted to be alone with his wife instead, if this would have lifted your spirits it should have been talked about . Not saying you did or not, but better to say this -IF it would have made a difference.


Our attitudes play a HUGE role in how our spouses feel, about us, and the relastioship. If I am not happy, I can assure you my husband is disturbed and if he is not happy, it bothers me too!!


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## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

I am going to the beach on Friday and well...mixed emotions...

I have 2 definitions of beach (cooler weather beach that is low key and hot weather beach with naked drunk people.) I am talking all cooler weather beach here.

I think back to our honeymoon on a pristine beach in Ireland and think to now how we got so close to Divorcing. Sad...

I am excited to sit some where and do nothing. No Museums, no crazy shopping, nothing.

Not excited to be on H-"check out every hot chick that walks by" patrol. My plan is to drink my wine, read my book. Hide in my one piece and feel fat. yea. 

I can see the pros and cons.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

I adore the beach. the beach = tranquility and a chance for me to heal myself emotionally.
i DO NOT enjoy the beach with children and tons of family. 

Try going alone...it's heavenly.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

southbound said:


> One of the negative things that my x brought to my attention during the divorce was my lack of enthusiasm for our vacation(with her family) to the beach last year. We had been 3 times in 4 years, and I wasn't too overwhelmed. It's a long drive, costly, and we would be gone a week.
> 
> Am I the only person who isn't crazy about the beach? I don't care if I ever see a beach again. It seems like everywhere I look where I live, people are heading off to the beach somewhere and posting pics all over facebook. So, maybe my wife was right on and I'm the scrooge for not liking the beach.


I don't like the beach in NJ especially during high tide and having to go to the beach with my family (other than kids & husband) or his family is not on my top 100 favorite things to do. We live a walk away from the beach and go maybe a handful of times when my youngest two beg me. I can't stand the sand in my bathing suit or the hot sun or the bennies or the fact that you have to spend $15 for a slice of pizza and a small soda. I think people who come to the Jersey Shore and pay $3k a week to stay in a house I live in year round are bat a$$ crazy.

She most likely felt bad because it was something she loved and wanted to share it with you but if you don't enjoy it there's not much you can do about it.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Mrs1980 said:


> I am going to the beach on Friday and well...mixed emotions...
> 
> I have 2 definitions of beach (cooler weather beach that is low key and hot weather beach with naked drunk people.) I am talking all cooler weather beach here.
> 
> ...


What beach? If you're in NJ call me, I'll join you in your plan as it sounds good to me.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Southbound, I am not a big beach fan and my husband is. Honestly, yeah...it's pretty and everything...but I'm like you. I really don't get that excited about it. I'd rather be out fishing or in Las Vegas or doing something else. It's kind of boring, if you ask me. The only thing to do is swim, and just how much of that can you really do before it getting old? Or lay in the sun, which gets hot and I burn easy and I'm not even supposed to be in the sun, or read - which I can do at home. I guess I'm dull too, for not caring much for the beach. I'd almost rather be at home playing piano or spending time in my own back yard.


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## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

Trenton said:


> What beach? If you're in NJ call me, I'll join you in your plan as it sounds good to me.


LOL... Sorry Maine...but next time . I am hoping less of a dental floss thong vibe so I don't have to feel like complete ****...:rofl:


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Trenton said:


> What beach? If you're in NJ call me, I'll join you in your plan as it sounds good to me.


They have habitable beaches in jersey? I thought that waterway was just part of the sewer engineering plan?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Mrs1980 said:


> LOL... Sorry Maine...but next time . I am hoping less of a dental floss thong vibe so I don't have to feel like complete ****...:rofl:


Got to love the dental floss thong. At least you don't have to worry about getting that ball sack of sand thing going on if you go in the water. I hate when that happens. :rofl:

Have a good time and drink a few glasses for me!


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

alphaomega said:


> They have habitable beaches in jersey? I thought that waterway was just part of the sewer engineering plan?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You'd think but we get way too many people willing to swim with syringes here.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

I love the beach. Hate swimming. Well, except in the carribean. Beaches in Canada have lakes that stay a balmy 40 degrees F in the middle of July and august. And my kids absolutely insist I go in with them. Im still waiting for my nuts to drop from last summer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I live drivable to the NC Outer Banks, maybe 90 minutes. In 15 years I have never been. When we lived in NY we lived 10 minutes from our private beach. Kids liked it. Me, not so much. Not a beach person.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

I've booked my place in August. If I can find one, I'll take a big fat spatula and instructions for the kids to flip me over on wednesday. And before you say it, Runs, I'll take a 5 gallon bucket of sunscreen and a basting brush.

Seriously, I love the beach, but peaceful beaches. When my FIL was living, I would get him to take me out in his boat four or five miles away in the bay and let me off. I could spend most of the afternoon slowly swimming back, with a net full of cool shells. Honestly, though, 80% of the time is spent in the beach house, with the windows open, making love or in walks along the beach. 

If you look around, you can get a home with full kitchen and bedrooms cheaper than a hotel, and still on the beach. Absolutely none of the time is spent at nearby theme parks or shopping. Not allowed. Its all about how you look at it.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

stillme4you said:


> Southbound, I am not a big beach fan and my husband is. Honestly, yeah...it's pretty and everything...but I'm like you. I really don't get that excited about it. I'd rather be out fishing or in Las Vegas or doing something else. It's kind of boring, if you ask me. The only thing to do is swim, and just how much of that can you really do before it getting old? Or lay in the sun, which gets hot and I burn easy and I'm not even supposed to be in the sun, or read - which I can do at home. I guess I'm dull too, for not caring much for the beach. I'd almost rather be at home playing piano or spending time in my own back yard.



That's kinda like me. I think it was a novelty act for me. The first time I went, it was magnificent. I had never been before, and it was something great to see, but I could get my fill of the beach in one day. After posting my thought in another thread, I won't dare say I get bored, but I can just sit around at home, and we have lakes if I want to be near water. 

It doesn't thrill me much just being out in the hot sun either. That combined with the cost and length of the drive just makes it not worth it to me. 

I'm not saying I was in the right. Like I said, it seems all I hear this time of year is people going to the beach. I just assumed there were other things in the U.S. to do.


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## Kricket (May 10, 2011)

I live on the coast of Florida. The beach here is gorgeous and while I hate it in the middle of summer, I will never live too far away from it. I have been to other beaches on the East Coast and I do not care for those after growing up with such wonderful beaches. 

I suggest that you take a walk alone at dusk or spend some time alone fishing. The beach can be very peaceful and a great stress reliever if it is just you and nature.:fish:

On the other hand, I would not like to have to spend all of my vacations at the beach. You and your wife should take turns and you should be able to pick the vacation location every other year. It is no fun going the same place every year for vacation (especially with inlaws).


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Well, I grew up in corn country - the midwest. No beaches there. Never had a burning desire to go to the beach, but have been several times. They are okay for me, but I'm more of an "earth and sky" person than a "water" person. I'm also more of a solitude vacation person. I want to take a vacation that is away from lots of people and everyday things so that I can unwind. Luckily, my husband is very adaptable as he also grew up the same way and has mostly the same mindset.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

southbound said:


> One of the negative things that my x brought to my attention during the divorce was my lack of enthusiasm for our vacation(with her family) to the beach last year. We had been 3 times in 4 years, and I wasn't too overwhelmed. It's a long drive, costly, and we would be gone a week.
> 
> Am I the only person who isn't crazy about the beach? I don't care if I ever see a beach again. It seems like everywhere I look where I live, people are heading off to the beach somewhere and posting pics all over facebook. So, maybe my wife was right on and I'm the scrooge for not liking the beach.


Nothing negative about not liking the beach. Just be who you are, who cares what everyone else likes ....if you were a sad-sack the whole time you were on vacation, then yeah, that would be annoying  

I'd take the woods over the beach if I had a choice. Beach scrooges unite!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I prefer the desert, give me arid, high altitude any day.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

A lot of people don't like the beach.
I don't happen to be one of them. If it were up to me, I'd be there 24/7.
Now on the flipside, I hate camping/woods/etc. To me, nature IS the beach


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## surfergirl (Jan 27, 2011)

southbound said:


> One of the negative things that my x brought to my attention during the divorce was my lack of enthusiasm for our vacation(with her family) to the beach last year. We had been 3 times in 4 years, and I wasn't too overwhelmed. It's a long drive, costly, and we would be gone a week.
> 
> Am I the only person who isn't crazy about the beach? I don't care if I ever see a beach again. It seems like everywhere I look where I live, people are heading off to the beach somewhere and posting pics all over facebook. So, maybe my wife was right on and I'm the scrooge for not liking the beach.


I imagine there are many folk who don't like holidays at the beach - I'm not one of them but I know of several people who could happily die with never being at or seeing the beach again.

Three cheers for them I say....because how over crowded would it get if everyone wanted to be there!

So in my world, no you aren't a "scrooge" for not liking the beach. 

To me, it just seems like another detail in probably a long list of details your wife had been stewing over to justify (in her own mind) divorcing you. It's called nit-picking and it's what we humans do when we try and build a case for why we are right.

If you are divorced now....then I'm thinking that at vacation time last year your marriage was already not a bed of roses and in that instance I'd be probably be very unenthusiastic about holidaying with my partner's family as well.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Southbound I wish you'd stop beating yourself up over what your X said. I already know your story. Your wife brought her entire family on those vacations and sorry but most rational people don't like that. Your wife was too attached to her family and had never really cut the apron strings. I mean weekly game nights? Really? How old is she? 9.

I don't think this has anything to do with whether you like the beach or not it is because she didn't give a flip what YOU wanted. Meet some new hottie who wants to create some sexual tension on the beach before ravaging you later in the hotel room you'd be all over it. The location isn't important it's WHO you are with that matters.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

magnoliagal said:


> Southbound I wish you'd stop beating yourself up over what your X said. I already know your story. Your wife brought her entire family on those vacations and sorry but most rational people don't like that. Your wife was too attached to her family and had never really cut the apron strings. I mean weekly game nights? Really? How old is she? 9.
> 
> I don't think this has anything to do with whether you like the beach or not it is because she didn't give a flip what YOU wanted. Meet some new hottie who wants to create some sexual tension on the beach before ravaging you later in the hotel room you'd be all over it. The location isn't important it's WHO you are with that matters.


Thanks for the support, magnoliagal. I don't think I'm still beating myself up as much as just trying to understand. If someone had come to me two years ago and asked for marriage advice, I feel like I could have helped them. Now, however, I conclude that I'm dumb as a rock when it comes to relationships.

As for the board games, everything was an excuse for a game. They even brought board games to the beach just in case there were two seconds of down time, but we never got around to them. 

As for the sexual tension, you are probably right. What better place to have a little flirting and sexual tension than on the beach, wet, and half naked? But she had already demonstrated the other two times we went that it didn't make a difference, so my enthusiasm was low.


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## wemogirl (May 31, 2011)

Kricket said:


> I live on the coast of Florida. The beach here is gorgeous and while I hate it in the middle of summer, I will never live too far away from it. I have been to other beaches on the East Coast and I do not care for those after growing up with such wonderful beaches.
> 
> I suggest that you take a walk alone at dusk or spend some time alone fishing. The beach can be very peaceful and a great stress reliever if it is just you and nature.:fish:
> 
> *On the other hand, I would not like to have to spend all of my vacations at the beach. You and your wife should take turns and you should be able to pick the vacation location every other year. It is no fun going the same place every year for vacation (especially with inlaws)*.


:iagree: My DH has said he wants to take us to the beach some time. He's gone to FL for work several times in the last few years and each time he says he'll take us. I would probably be happy going once (although I'd probably pick somewhere else if I had my choice). But if that was the only vacation we took from here on out and it was with his family, I'd be more than a little irritated. There are so many other places to go and explore. Give me the Grand Canyon or a historic site any day over the beach.


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