# I move out this weekend..



## Amy G (Apr 26, 2011)

Just had separating house convo last night. Not too bad as I am being very reasonable, only thing we needed was the 1 wash machine/ dryer. We have 3 tv, 5 fridges, etc so OK to split. Anyway, he looked very upset, as I think he thought I wouldn't really leave. I am signing a rental aggrement tonight.

It has been horrible, he seems to think I am leaving a nice affluent household, with half the kids just for fun! He doesn't think there is any reason for me going. 

I feel a bit the same as I have sort of lost the reason we are breaking up. as we haven't had a big fight between us, as we have been acting like strangers to each other, and I haven't had any blow up with his children as I have not been effectively parenting them. I have left him to do it.

Anyway, all is fine, but in a couple of months I will say/ do something, his kids will irritate me or be disrespectful enough for me to crack, and it will be all on again. I still think he likes me around as a nanny/ housekeeper/ financal contributer/ etc, not as a wife. 

Anyway, overall this coldnes is hard to live with and now my kids are a bit confused and want to stay in the house. At 7 they get to come with me, as dad doesn't really want them full time, thank goodness.

So I guess I want to know there is light at the end of the tunnel and anyone with a snippet of advice on how they have coped, I would love to hear it.

Thanks


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## chaffy (Apr 11, 2011)

I moved 3 weeks ago..separation was not my idea..all H's doing..so I am not sure what advise I can give you..since I am in the position of your H..

But I hope things work out for you and your situation..
Best Of Luck


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## Amy G (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm sorry for you. You would understand some of how my H feels then. 

I am annoyed that he has taken no responsibility in the relationship.

Out of interest was it your idea for you to move? I have let H have the house as he still has his 2 children, and enjoys keeping the gardens nice, where I have too many other things to do.

Cheers.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Amy G said:


> Just had separating house convo last night. Not too bad as I am being very reasonable, only thing we needed was the 1 wash machine/ dryer. We have 3 tv, 5 fridges, etc so OK to split. Anyway, he looked very upset, as I think he thought I wouldn't really leave. I am signing a rental aggrement tonight.
> 
> It has been horrible, he seems to think I am leaving a nice affluent household, with half the kids just for fun! He doesn't think there is any reason for me going.
> 
> ...



Amy....
Hi  I don't know what I really can offer but here I go....
I moved out 3 months ago, he didn't want me to leave but didn't want to actively work on anything either. If you read my posts here, I started before I left and have continued since. I will tell you this:::this is a rollercoaster ride no doubt! Some days you guys will get along and "BAM" something will happen or be said and it will make you upset or mad.

Take this time for yourself and your children. Be as honest with them as they can understand. Don't talk bad about your H and TRY to give yourself some slack. I've been very hard on myself....I'm the one who left but not after 3/4 years of living in pure sadness, turned to bitternerness, turned to resentment and so, oh so close to hate.....

The one thing I know is I love my son and will do anything for him, except stay in hell....I will never tell him that though.

Also, if you don't have a professional to talk to, check into it. I have been going to see a therapist for over 6 months now and it helps. She helps me see things that in my fog, it was hard to.

TAM and everyone here have been so helpful and supportive and I know we will do the same for you!


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## girltrax101 (May 6, 2011)

How am I coping?....well seeing as I've now lost 13lbs in a week..guess not good. My move out date is July 1st...Happy Canada Day!
I'm sorry you're going through this, I'm sorry someone out there is hurting the way I am...I wouldn't wish this on anyone and have never hurt this bad....ever.
This site has helped, I've done a lot of reading here. I'm not one to vent to family and friends, so I haven't really physically "seen" anyone to talk to about this. This site is comforting because I can stop typing and cry...I can say "wtf"? and no one yells at me...I can laugh and smile from the honesty of strangers...but mostly I can see that I'm truly not alone. Hang in there...


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## Amy G (Apr 26, 2011)

Thanks so much for your stories. It is so sad so many people who married/ set themselves up for life, then these horrible things happen.

I am so happy I have someplace I can talk about how I feel and get practical advice and not feel I am the only one.
Luckily I have some supportive friends to talk to as well.

Thanks.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

@ Amy, know that you are not alone. @ Girltrax, that is what I said yesterday....I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I am now at a place of acceptance. I no longer feel a need to cry every time I think about my situation. Life ain't fair, but I got what I need to make it through. This was a very hard 6.5 weeks to get through, but now I am looking back and wondering how I did all that crying over a situation I have no control over...but not any more.


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## Amy G (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi. It all happened over the weekend. ZJust need the telly to get today.

Horrible weekend, I felt so sad taking my presence out of the house, especially seeing my empty wardrobe and bathroom. 
On the other hand once the step kids came home from friend's houses, they were so rude and disrespectful I couldn't leave quick enough!

Hubby was very sad, I think he still thought it would never happen.

After the afternoon with his kids I didn't feel so sad about leaving and feel quite good today. I expect it will keep being up and down.

I also haven't eaten, but for me, losing weight is an advantage of the whoile situation.

Thanks everyone


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## Amy G (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi all. I have had a week in my house now, been a bit up and down, but OK now I have got over how much I took from my 'old' house and how empty it was when I left.

Now I feel weird and uncomfortable the couple of times I have been in contact with him. He wants us all to go out for dinner on Sat eve. He is going out with a friend and his daughter and all the kids and has asked me to go as well. I am not sure if I want to. Maybe as my kids are having a 'sllep over' with him maybe he just wants heklp with the kids?

Do people think it would be confusing for the children to see us on a happy family outing, or helpful to see Dad and Mum are still friends even if not living together??

Thanks


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