# Just need some advice



## carlaroberson (Oct 27, 2009)

we have only been married for almost 5 years I have a 17 year old daughter who doesnt live with us she comes home on the weekends she is in a behavioral home, she is bipolar and is uncontrollable. Well my husband hates her because she is so disrespectful at times to me and him, I have talk to her about it and she will do good for a while but no long. He has always been good to me. but now is wanting to leave when she is here on weekends and told me from now on he was going to do what he wanted no matter what I say. I just feel a marriage cant last that way I am so hurt I so confused do I choose her and loose my husband or him and loose her? I cant choose between but on the other hand if he is not including me in anything do I even need him? I havent worked since we have been together because I have alot of back trouble I recently was looking for a job and noone will hire me I have no way to even pay the bills..


----------



## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

What does she do that he can no longer tolerate her behavior? 

You also say "but... if he is not including me in anything do I even need him?" 

What do you mean by not being included? Included in what?

I guess while I can see and understand that you are hurt by his decision, isn't your decision that a marriage can't last by being apart for what would it really be, 2 nights/week, causing you to feel you have to choose? If there is nothing else wrong in the relationship (and I don't know that this is the case) then why can't you live without him for two days per week? Why does this have to be so black and white?


----------



## fullofanger (Oct 24, 2009)

From childhood experience all I can say to you is,

If your daughter lived with you then my advice would be to choose her because when she becomes an adult she will probably hold a grudge with you. I assume he knew her condition before he married you, he needs to be more understanding.

Since she doesn't live with you then I think its ok if he leaves for the weekend(it also gives you more time to spend with your daughter). As long as you can trust him (I don't know your situation with that). You need to talk to him and understand him and he also needs to understand you.

There's a way out of every situation, the hard part is taking that first step (i'm in that position).


----------

