# is she being honest about it ?



## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

ok here goes....I have been married to a gorgeous, conservative lady for 2o plus years. She turns men's heads every time I am with her. Her bod looks like a 25 year old bunny...

We have a great sex life where with a help of a vibe she reaches an 'O" atleast 2x aweek. We have sex 5-6 times aweek on average. But, I want to keep it going by trying new things between us and only us.

This is my question to you all (by the way, I have never posted on any site but I have recently found this one and find it very good and what seems to be honest people with real comments), I like to talk to her during sex about how she turns other men on or gets stares and have gone so far as name names of old boyfriends from high school. She says I am the only guy that she has done anything with except kiss. She seems to have really good orgasms during this type of sex talk but says she doesn't like it when I name individuals when I ask her about it later. 
DOES she really like it or NOT...?? Can am woman still have an 'O' and be turn off by such or is she just being nice and doesn't want me to think she is turn on by the thought of other men thinking she is hot? Confused yet, the more I type the more silly I think I am for doing this in bed or even asking for comments.

This type of talk does turn me on for some reason I can't explain and she knows this. She told me last night to keep doing it IF I get turned on by it BUT to talk in general terms and not specific names... I 'mlistening...please share your thoughts with me.. thanks!


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## lbell629 (May 10, 2010)

I would assume she is being honest with you, especially since she said she doesn't mind the talk just not specific names. Maybe there is a bad history with the people you are bringing up or even though you are talking about other men in general she is trying to picture you in each of those places and bringing up the individuals makes it harder for her? Either way, I would assume she is telling you the truth and try to abide by her wishes.


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## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

Ibell629..what do women think about when they are approaching an 'o" and having one?


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I would definitely respect her wishes on this one. Naming names probably makes her picture those guys in her head & is probably distracting since she has no interest in them now.


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## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

good advice... thanks


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## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

Ladies, what type of sex talk do most prefer if any/?? I can't get any feedback from her ...she says she is a "simple girl" but I think maybe she just doesn't want me to see that side of her... or maybe I am just wishing she would have this type of arousal with sex talk..idk


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## toolate (Sep 22, 2009)

You have been married 20 plus years or was that a typo or 2 plus? I wouldnt over think it... if she says something, take her at her word about it. She has given you answers. If she was missing something, she would ask you for it (from the way you describe her). SOunds like you are missing something.... she sounds fairly straight forward... just ask her


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## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

20 ...no typo.. she is being straightforward i guess. I think I am wanting her to play along so badly with this type of talk that I hoping she is not being straight forward... thanks for replying


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## Sadara (Jul 27, 2010)

You asked a little before this what kind of sex talk women prefer.... every woman is different. I do not like the dirty talk when having sex. I certainly wouldn't like other guys being specifically mentioned during sex. But, that's me and like I said, all women are different. Take what your wife is telling you and listen to it. You have no reason to believe she is being dishonest.


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## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

thank you for sharing with me about this...


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## candice912 (Sep 4, 2010)

Wondering2020,

I think your wife is being honest and straight forward with you. My husband told me that the day he took my words at face value and stopped searching for some implied meaning, he said everything got a lot easier, because he realized I meant what I said, no games, no puzzles to solve. He is right. Honestly, It has always driven me nuts when a guy asks me, "what is that supposed to mean?" It means just what it means.

Now, I have a question for you. Do you think women speak in codes or do you think that men overanalyze what women say?


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## candice912 (Sep 4, 2010)

Wondering2020,

I think it is great that you are communicating openly with your wife about your desires and hers. I believe it is important for a healthy marriage. I hear you are hoping she likes this as much as you do. I'd listen to her about leaving out the guys names. Did you think that maybe the names are going a bit too far? If I think of an ex, suddenly my desires are squashed to nil. Ask her what is her fantacy ? I'm sure she will mean what she says If she is too shy to say it, then start a scenario, like a romantic dinner or get away and see if she wont help you elaborate some details. Try a simple non threatening question like, "I want to take care of you, so could you tell me one thing I could do for you?" Then be patient for her to respond.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

wondering2020 said:


> Ladies, what type of sex talk do most prefer if any/?? I can't get any feedback from her ...she says she is a "simple girl" but I think maybe she just doesn't want me to see that side of her... or maybe I am just wishing she would have this type of arousal with sex talk..idk


 You said your wife is conservative, she probably has a more old fashion way of looking at Marraige and making love and my guess is that ... she is being totally honest with you , but for her, she may want to hear you describe how YOU are turned on by her, not about how other guys gets turned on by her, when she is with you. In her mind & heart, she probably has zero desire to think of these other men, she may even find it a little belittling to have any others names brought up in these oh so intimate times with you. 

I would feel any wholesome sweet more conservative women would take this kind of perspective. 

Not that what you are doing is wrong, as it clearly turns you on . She seems to be meeting you half way, allowing you to continue but asking to refrain from the names, it does sound reasonable to me personally. Sounds like you have an awesome sex life !!

When I am close to an O, I usually think of me & my husband, one of our Hotter memories, certain places, certain atmospheres, like watching us in the ceiling mirrors at one Romantic getaway, or when we was younger in the heat of Passion. 

It is almost always about HIM, but I must confess, the mind has wondered to a few hot porn stars doing me too.

Absolutely Yes, you are wishing she was LIKE YOU, and wanted to engage in this kind of arousal when you are together. I do so understand where you are coming from >>> because I LOVE to flirt in bed, but my husband is quite content not saying a single word the entire time. 

I many times feel I want him to "be like me" but He is who he is. I can suggest and communicate my desires to him, but ultimately I need to accept him for his more quieter ways, he has so many other qualiites that I can focus on to get my mind off of that little desire, so that is where my head needs to go during those times. 

Probably 99.9% of every married person alive will have fantasies that go beyond what our other half's provide. This is Oh so normal. And OK.


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## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

Candice912...to answer your question, I myself seem to over analyze after reading the above helpful comments. However, I do think females will drop subtle hints that men do not pick up on which can lead to frustration on both sides.


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## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

SimplyAmorous, I LOVED your reply which covered alot of questions I have about my wife plus I really appreciate you relating your own experiences with your mate. What I have read from above (all have been taken openly), I understand the way my wife thinks now through another woman's perspective which helps to validate what she has told me to be face value.

Thank you,,,,,


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## jmsclayton (Sep 5, 2010)

Hi

sharing

Have you talk with her about what kind of sex talk she would like. Sex talk in sex is vital and important. The thing is it stimulates her mind and has her thinking about sex. Some women sometimes have to wear clothing to help their thought process or put it in the calendar. 

Since her love notes through out the day that involve what you like in bed etc. How you like her etc. See what that does? 

Thoughts? 

Judith


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## wondering2020 (Sep 17, 2010)

she says she doesn't like to talk herself which I can understand. I have read numerous times that women do not like to have even light conversations because it can be distracting...but boy would I like for her to! I will try what you said right now with a text message....and see what response I get... thanks ! Any more ideas, PLEASE share....


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

wondering2020 said:


> SimplyAmorous, I LOVED your reply which covered alot of questions I have about my wife plus I really appreciate you relating your own experiences with your mate. What I have read from above (all have been taken openly), I understand the way my wife thinks now through another woman's perspective which helps to validate what she has told me to be face value.
> 
> Thank you,,,,,


You are so welcome ! It always helps to get some other opposite sex perspectives when we are struggling with something, as this kind of talk you probably won't take up with her girlfriends, or your Mom! 

I LOVE forums for this very reason!


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