# What's the deal with porn today? Why so unsexy?



## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

This is just my opinion I guess, but porn today is just unsexy to me. Its just not stimulating to me at all. It wasn't always this way. It just seems like most of the sex is very rough, and the actresses are just thrown around a lot and completely manhandled, also lots of throat grabbing. It seems to be like that in a lot of the movies, even the ones marketed as "couples" films. In the older movies I have you got the sense that the performers actually enjoyed each other, I also felt that the male performers were more respectful of their co-stars. Pretty much the only modern day porn that does anything for me is real couples. Its really gone downhill in my opinion. Its more about degradation and pounding these days. Has anyone else noticed this? Not really interested in opinions stating porn is evil bla, bla,bla. But if you occasionally watch it, have you noticed changes?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Hmm I actually feel the exact opposite. I think porn has vastly Improved since the day of 70’s cheesy porno films. That said I don’t watch prono “movies” cause it’s not my thing. I prefer the softer and sexier stuff vastly available on internet than the ground and pound stuff like you describe. 

I think one of the best things about porn today is the access to it and the ability to find whatever turns you on.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

i was just reading about that recently, in a book titled "everybody lies".

according to big data science, its usually women who view porn that shows violence/degrading acts against women. i know that what you are talking about is not necessarily violent. degrading... maybe, depending on how you look at it... 

not to say that women prefer that kind of porn, just that more women prefer that kind of porn than men. the most popular porn category is for women, however, is lesbian porn. 

web sites keep track of what videos are clicked on and what searches are done. they end up with a tremendous pool of data that they can grab samples from in order to determine which videos are going to get the most clicks. that kind of information is gold in advertising...

my guess is, more people click on that kind of porn, and thats why its become so popular.


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## VibrantWings (Sep 8, 2017)

Access is unlimited, it seems to me. They've got the oldies if you prefer those. 

That being said, I understand some of what you're saying. Sometimes I can tell if the woman REALLY likes it- other times I can see their pain or disgust or recovering from surprise (even though they're pretending to like it). Probably because I am a hetero woman so I look at them differently- would be my guess

I also sometimes get the impression that the ladies are high. 

Bottom line is that it's acting. I enjoy it more if I think the actors are actually into it, too.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

VibrantWings said:


> Access is unlimited, it seems to me. They've got the oldies if you prefer those.
> 
> That being said, I understand some of what you're saying. Sometimes I can tell if the woman REALLY likes it- other times I can see their pain or disgust or recovering from surprise (even though they're pretending to like it). Probably because I am a hetero woman so I look at them differently- would be my guess
> 
> ...


this right here is the biggest reason i find cited for why its more women who watch lesbian porn. lesbian porn is usually described as more "sensual", more "real", etc. 

i think most people actually prefer to see real emotions rather than the obviously faked ones. its probably why "orgasm" porn is pretty popular too.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I wish someone would make stepchild/stepparent/stepsibbling porn. OK, maybe not.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

CharlieParker said:


> I wish someone would make stepchild/stepparent/stepsibbling porn. OK, maybe not.


thats actually on the top ten search list on porn hub for both men and women...


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

It crazy the amount of porn out there..

I only like amature porn or home made porn.

I don't think that its good for society it is actually cultivating fetishes among other thing.

Over use is ruining relationships. There will be a whole generation of porn addicted people out there.


The times they are a changing.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

chillymorn69 said:


> It crazy the amount of porn out there..
> 
> I only like amature porn or home made porn.
> 
> ...


i dont think it actually cultivates fetishes... i know i have never woken up and decided that i like a certain fetish just because i saw a porno of it. though im certain that too much porn use can destroy relationship. too much anything can...

on the other hand, it seems that free porn access actually reduces rates of sexual assault. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...evidence-mounts-more-porn-less-sexual-assault


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

chillymorn69 said:


> It crazy the amount of porn out there..
> 
> 
> 
> ...




A whole generation of porn addiction and video game addiction.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

As'laDain said:


> i dont think it actually cultivates fetishes... i know i have never woken up and decided that i like a certain fetish just because i saw a porno of it. though im certain that too much porn use can destroy relationship. too much anything can...
> 
> on the other hand, it seems that free porn access actually reduces rates of sexual assault.
> 
> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...evidence-mounts-more-porn-less-sexual-assault


I think it cultivates fetishes because e people who abuse it and become addicted need more and more exciting stuff or get fixiated on a particular act which then make it near impossible to orgasm unless they are doing or watching that act.

Just because you haven't culitivated one yet don't mean 10's of thousands haven't.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> This is just my opinion I guess, but porn today is just unsexy to me. Its just not stimulating to me at all. It wasn't always this way. It just seems like most of the sex is very rough, and the actresses are just thrown around a lot and completely manhandled, also lots of throat grabbing. It seems to be like that in a lot of the movies, even the ones marketed as "couples" films. In the older movies I have you got the sense that the performers actually enjoyed each other, I also felt that the male performers were more respectful of their co-stars. Pretty much the only modern day porn that does anything for me is real couples. Its really gone downhill in my opinion. Its more about degradation and pounding these days. Has anyone else noticed this? Not really interested in opinions stating porn is evil bla, bla,bla. But if you occasionally watch it, have you noticed changes?




When I view porn from time to time, I have the opposite reaction.


Porn are men and women, who take care of their bodies, who love all forms of sex and are really good at it (actors and actresses), and do things we would only be insecure and shy about never to try and do with our other halves.


Some of the porn vids are very fake and acted......NEXT.


But there are many porn vids were its just average but attractive looking men and women having great sex.......SCHWING.


Since I'm a man, with a healthy, high and adventurous sex drive, I am very visually stimulated. So hot woman having sex.......SCHWING.


I'm not into violence against the ladies in porn vids. Not cool.


Also, they have to be adults. Basically right out of high school and up. (19+ I guess) Otherwise, not cool.


I'm simple though. I like ladies......that's about it really.


Porn to me is a fantasy and not so much reality but you can do those things with your other half and spice it a lot.0:smthumbup:


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

I'm 51 

So younger women with hard bodies are unrealistic for me to score in real life.
So I tend to look for porn 40yrs + actors 

I know I'm crazy its not that hard bodies arnd't hot its just never going to happen. I need a hint of reality for my mind to even get into it.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

chillymorn69 said:


> I'm 51
> 
> So younger women with hard bodies are unrealistic for me to score in real life.
> So I tend to look for porn 40yrs + actors
> ...




hmm... i know a 62 year old polyamorous man with three partners, ranging between 22 and 50. anythings possible...

of course, he is also a widower, wealthy as hell, and still runs about 15 miles a day...


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

As'laDain said:


> hmm... i know a 62 year old polyamorous man with three partners, ranging between 22 and 50. anythings possible...
> 
> of course, he is also a widower, wealthy as hell, and still runs about 15 miles a day...


Lol that does it I'm buying a lottery ticket!


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

chillymorn69 said:


> Lol that does it I'm buying a lottery ticket!


and some running shoes? lol


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Yah, porn for me is like 80% crap

Skinny ass girls.... SKIP
Huge fake breasts... SKIP
Globs of makeup... SKIP

I enjoyed the amateur stuff... like real sex... not upside down helicopter anal sex.

Another thing that bothers me is that every porn ends the same way... a guy pulling out and cumming on a girls face... EVEN her hair!!!! hahah, yah right... ejaculate on a girls hair and expect her to keep smiling and moaning.... I have yet to meet this girl.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

ReformedHubby said:


> This is just my opinion I guess, but porn today is just unsexy to me. Its just not stimulating to me at all. It wasn't always this way. It just seems like most of the sex is very rough, and the actresses are just thrown around a lot and completely manhandled, also lots of throat grabbing.


Maybe you should search for different porn.



chillymorn69 said:


> I think it cultivates fetishes because e people who abuse it and become addicted need more and more exciting stuff or get fixiated on a particular act which then make it near impossible to orgasm unless they are doing or watching that act.


I think porn can cultivate a fetish in the strictest sense: an unexplored fetish that someone has in the back of their mind- something that they wouldn't necessarily _search_ for. All of a sudden, the fetish is displayed in some random video and it has sparked to the forefront of the user's mind.

Now that it is out there, they can look for it, and they may become dependent on it as they can totally fixate on it.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Steve2.0 said:


> Yah, porn for me is like 80% crap
> 
> Another thing that bothers me is that every porn ends the same way... a guy pulling out and cumming on a girls face... EVEN her hair!!!! hahah, yah right... ejaculate on a girls hair and expect her to keep smiling and moaning.... I have yet to meet this girl.


Facials not so much, hair definitely not! But I've met quite a few that don't mind it at all if you pull out and cum in their mouths...a few actually preferred it to cumming inside them. I don't really think I could ever be with someone that is grossed out by cum.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

toblerone said:


> Maybe you should search for different porn.


I can certainly find porn scenes that don't offend me on the web. What I am referring to is the porn films that are made with larger budgets and so on from the well known adult film studios that have somewhat of a plot. I used to enjoy putting one of those on and watching them as a couple. But it just seems that the newer films are completely lacking in sensuality.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

There seems to be a vast array of porn out there - pretty much anything you can imagine. 

I think that that huge amount of "amateur" porn, has pushed the major studios into certain types of more extreme stuff.

If you want to see a normal attractive couple having mutual sex, then there is amateur stuff. If you want to see unrealistic wild sex, there is pro stuff.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> This is just my opinion I guess, but porn today is just unsexy to me. Its just not stimulating to me at all. It wasn't always this way. It just seems like most of the sex is very rough, and the actresses are just thrown around a lot and completely manhandled, also lots of throat grabbing. It seems to be like that in a lot of the movies, even the ones marketed as "couples" films. In the older movies I have you got the sense that the performers actually enjoyed each other, I also felt that the male performers were more respectful of their co-stars. Pretty much the only modern day porn that does anything for me is real couples. Its really gone downhill in my opinion. Its more about degradation and pounding these days. Has anyone else noticed this? Not really interested in opinions stating porn is evil bla, bla,bla. But if you occasionally watch it, have you noticed changes?


I agree with this. In most hetero porn these days the “sex acts” seem to be all about hurting or humiliating women in some way or another. That doesn’t turn me on in the least. I only watch guy-on-guy porn these days for that very reason, at least then I can admire the bodies.

The truly disturbing part is that I am meeting (more and more) guys IRL who want this **** on the regular. No thank you.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I don't think I've seen that trend, but it may depend on where you look. I mostly look at amature / homemade stuff because it more often shows couples mutually enjoying sex. 

There is a lot of abusive / violent stuff, but there is a lot of EVERYTHING these days.

Of course it may depend completely on where you look or exactly what sort of search terms you use. 




Red Sonja said:


> I agree with this. In most hetero porn these days the “sex acts” seem to be all about hurting or humiliating women in some way or another. That doesn’t turn me on in the least. I only watch guy-on-guy porn these days for that very reason, at least then I can admire the bodies.
> 
> The truly disturbing part is that I am meeting (more and more) guys IRL who want this **** on the regular. No thank you.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

uhtred said:


> I don't think I've seen that trend, but it may depend on where you look. I mostly look at amature / homemade stuff because it more often shows couples mutually enjoying sex.
> 
> There is a lot of abusive / violent stuff, but there is a lot of EVERYTHING these days.
> 
> Of course it may depend completely on where you look or exactly what sort of search terms you use.


Perhaps, however I have also seen the same crap in amateur porn.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

chillymorn69 said:


> Lol that does it I'm buying a lottery ticket!


Always good to see that TAM was able to inspire you to go do something!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Its also possible we have different thresholds for what seems aggressive / abusive so we see it in different quantities.

Abby Winters studios makes high quality amateurish porn that is generally erotic and non-violent. A lot is lesbian but they have a lot of heterosexual stuff as well. 





Red Sonja said:


> Perhaps, however I have also seen the same crap in amateur porn.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

There's a site called Pornographic Love. You have to pay for it but it's very good. I think there are some free teasers and pics on their website that give you an idea of what's inside.

They are a couple and make very beautiful sensual and real videos. So real that you may not be able to sit through a whole one because they really spend a lot of time on each other. But you can always skip ahead if necessary. 

Also there is fetlife. You have to pay for that too if you want to see videos, but there is so much variety there you can quickly find lots of videos in any specific genre you want, including sensual and couple-centric.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

uhtred said:


> There seems to be a vast array of porn out there - pretty much anything you can imagine.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Why would studios bother making porn anymore if anyone with an iPhone can make one?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Homemade porn has grown dramatically and I expect it is a big issue for the major studios. The studios do still offer better production values (now that 4K displays are common, few amateurs can shoot high quality movies at that resolution even if their cameras are nominally "4K"). 

Studios can hire famous actors, which some set of viewers consider more attractive than typical home actors. 

I am surprised that they don't seem to have gone in the direction of actual "acting". I find an erotic scene in a mainstream movie done by real actors to be much better than the obvious faking in pro porn movies. 

There may just be a core audience of people who want what pro-porn provides.




inmyprime said:


> Why would studios bother making porn anymore if anyone with an iPhone can make one?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Very little of the modern stuff does it for me. 30 minutes of jackhammering with a **** numbed up with lidocaine or something similar? No thanks.

Give me some cheesy 70s or early 80s stuff. Funny story and enjoyable enough hot enough sex without the spitting on genitals and the weird pseudo violence.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> I don't really think I could ever be with someone that is grossed out by cum.


Yeah it can take the fun out of it at times. Thats for sure.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

You guys and gals watch way too much porn 
Joking. My favourite porn is home made porn. The one I make at home myself.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

ReformedHubby said:


> This is just my opinion I guess, but porn today is just unsexy to me. Its just not stimulating to me at all. It wasn't always this way. It just seems like most of the sex is very rough, and the actresses are just thrown around a lot and completely manhandled, also lots of throat grabbing. It seems to be like that in a lot of the movies, even the ones marketed as "couples" films. In the older movies I have you got the sense that the performers actually enjoyed each other, I also felt that the male performers were more respectful of their co-stars. Pretty much the only modern day porn that does anything for me is real couples. Its really gone downhill in my opinion. Its more about degradation and pounding these days. Has anyone else noticed this? Not really interested in opinions stating porn is evil bla, bla,bla. But if you occasionally watch it, have you noticed changes?


LOL. I say this *all the time* here on TAM. 

And sadly, young men are watching this utter nonsense and thinking this is normal sex. No foreplay for the woman (unless you count the whopping 5 seconds dedicated to squeezing her breasts roughly followed by the 5 seconds of ramming his hands down below and digging for buried treasure before getting himself a nice, long 10 minute BJ. Then, all he has to do is spit on her genitals or backside (because she's obviously bone dry), ram it in, pound away, throw her around like a rag doll into 3 or 4 different positions - while she's moaning and groaning in pure ecstasy - until HE climaxes. Then, of course, sex stops because he's satisfied.

No wonder so many men have no freakin' CLUE how to satisfy a woman and think sex is all about HIS satisfaction.


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL. I say this *all the time* here on TAM.
> 
> And sadly, young men are watching this utter nonsense and thinking this is normal sex. No foreplay for the woman (unless you count the whopping 5 seconds dedicated to squeezing her breasts roughly followed by the 5 seconds of ramming his hands down below and digging for buried treasure before getting himself a nice, long 10 minute BJ. Then, all he has to do is spit on her genitals or backside (because she's obviously bone dry), ram it in, pound away, throw her around like a rag doll into 3 or 4 different positions - while she's moaning and groaning in pure ecstasy - until HE climaxes. Then, of course, sex stops because he's satisfied.
> 
> No wonder so many men have no freakin' CLUE how to satisfy a woman and think sex is all about HIS satisfaction.


Yep. See the Aziz Ansari story as an example of a weak guy trying to act out what he saw in porn. Very cringe-worthy. 

BUT... do you know how many women have said "Sometimes I don't want to be made love to... I want to be used and dominated and treated like an object" ? It gets confusing for guys that just want to be good in bed.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> LOL. I say this *all the time* here on TAM.
> 
> And sadly, young men are watching this utter nonsense and thinking this is normal sex. No foreplay for the woman (unless you count the whopping 5 seconds dedicated to squeezing her breasts roughly followed by the 5 seconds of ramming his hands down below and digging for buried treasure before getting himself a nice, long 10 minute BJ. Then, all he has to do is spit on her genitals or backside (because she's obviously bone dry), ram it in, pound away, throw her around like a rag doll into 3 or 4 different positions - while she's moaning and groaning in pure ecstasy - until HE climaxes. Then, of course, sex stops because he's satisfied.
> 
> No wonder so many men have no freakin' CLUE how to satisfy a woman and think sex is all about HIS satisfaction.


huh? but, that IS how i satisfy my woman... 

:grin2:


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ReformedHubby said:


> This is just my opinion I guess, but porn today is just unsexy to me. Its just not stimulating to me at all. It wasn't always this way. It just seems like most of the sex is very rough, and the actresses are just thrown around a lot and completely manhandled, also lots of throat grabbing. It seems to be like that in a lot of the movies, even the ones marketed as "couples" films. In the older movies I have you got the sense that the performers actually enjoyed each other, I also felt that the male performers were more respectful of their co-stars. Pretty much the only modern day porn that does anything for me is real couples. Its really gone downhill in my opinion. Its more about degradation and pounding these days. Has anyone else noticed this? Not really interested in opinions stating porn is evil bla, bla,bla. But if you occasionally watch it, have you noticed changes?


Look specifically for softcore porn, not hardcore. Sure, the acting is still sh-t but it's more bearable lol


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