# Husband is my business partner and I want a divorce



## gardenwise (Nov 1, 2011)

We have been married for 30 years. We have owned a business together for 12. My husband is a functioning alcoholic. We have one child, 18 in college. My husband just isn't a hard worker, neither in the marriage or at the office. Times have been really hard the last 3 years and he just can't seem to work a full day or make a sales call. I am responsible for everything at the house and the office. I work 10 hours at the office and then go home and work 2 hours cleaning, dishes, clothes, etc. He will just sit on the couch and drink or just look at me. I positively can't stand it any longer. He wonders why I don't want to have sex with him. I have lost all respect for him and I don't like being the MAN in the family. Worst of all is we don't have a lot of money to separate. We could sell the company for quite a bit of money but he won't sign the papers. He has always been this way and I made a stupid choice.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

I truly believe in not giving up on yor marriage until the very very end but:

I don't blame you for everything you feel and said. What a huge burden you carry. What a loser your husband is. Now he is going to lose it all. I would not have any respect for someone if it was me either.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

I also lost my husband to booze.
Unless he stops drinking, you and everything else will be "second" to the opportunity to drown your woes in a bottle. 
You aren't married to him, he is already married to the booze. It doesn't matter what you say or do or threaten, there's a good chance you will LOSE. He will choose to drink over being a responsible adult.

What a waste of life.

There is hope, though. 
If you want to go an AlAnon website or meeting, find out how you can stop enbabling him. Find out how to ask him to stop drinking.

If he doesn't stop, then leave.

If he stops... then you have a long road of re building respect and repairing damage. It's fixable, but only when he gets sober.

Have you ever talked to him about his drinking?


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## gardenwise (Nov 1, 2011)

Thank you for your emails. We have discussed his drinking for 30 years. He know he has a problem but he just doesn't see it as a HUGE problem. His brother and his sister both have drinking issues, his parents don't drink a drop. His brother stopped last year when he had a heart problem. My husband has high blood pressure and smokes. He's not overweight but he's puffy in the face, red lines in the face and he really doesn't care much what he looks like. I'm 53 and look 43, I take really good care of myself. I exercise every morning and do pilates. I would of walked 10 years ago but it's horribly difficult when you own a business. Just imagine hating his guts, sleeping in separate bedrooms then having to go to work with that person. It's just unbearable. But, when we separate, which we've done, he doesn't work at all. He has certain things that have to be done weekly that I can't do. Really sucks.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Yes, it does suck. He does have a drinking problem, but thinks he can keep it all under control. Then when you leave him, he probably goes on a huge drinking binge and doesn't work, right?

You have to make him accountable for his behavior, only because of the business. Fire him. Hire someone else to do his job. Make sure you know what it is he does, and get it covered by someone else. 
Make a plan. Learn how to do it yourself. Then you will be better able to keep the business aspect seperate, and deal with the lack of marriage.


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