# It's been almost a year...



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

and all I can do is wait and pray. Pray that the stbx changes his mind. It's so hard to tell from his actions and words what path he'll take. I don't know if he's leading me to a hopeless end and if I'll suffer a broken heart all over again because I've been holding on to a spark of hope. I still cry almost daily. I'm scared of a future without him and scared of the possibility of reconciliation...if that makes any sense. All I know is my heart won't stop hurting and I never knew I had this many tears in me.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

oh honey, you've been like this for a year?? and what end is in sight? how long do you plan to go on like this? you say you're scared of a life without him - but you've been without him all this time and you're still here

where's the incentive for him to want to make it work when he knows you'll be there waiting for him no matter what he does

you need a 'come to jesus' meeting!


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Have you been to MC? What about IC? 

When's the last time he showed any indication of wishing to reconcile?


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> oh honey, you've been like this for a year?? and what end is in sight? how long do you plan to go on like this? you say you're scared of a life without him - but you've been without him all this time and you're still here
> 
> where's the incentive for him to want to make it work when he knows you'll be there waiting for him no matter what he does
> 
> you need a 'come to jesus' meeting!


We have a 12 month waiting period here before divorce can be filed, so that is "the end" I am speaking of. Yes, I am scared of life without him. We've been separated for almost a year, but remain within close proximity of each other. We live very close to each other and we see him many days out of the week. I guess I could be a witch and tell him he isnt welcome here, but then he can always say Im not going to pay the mortgage and other bills anymore. I guess what I'm having a hard time with is how do you tell someone you love with all yourheart to stay away when all you really want to do is be around them?


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

canguy66 said:


> Have you been to MC? What about IC?
> 
> When's the last time he showed any indication of wishing to reconcile?


Just today I called for an appointment, haven't had insurance. He's not shown any interest in MC? As for him showing any indication of R, he hasn't made a huge effort to stay away, which is where I think I'm holding out hope. If he really doesn't want to be with me, why dies he come around so much?


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

justabovewater said:


> Just today I called for an appointment, haven't had insurance. He's not shown any interest in MC? As for him showing any indication of R, he hasn't made a huge effort to stay away, which is where I think I'm holding out hope. If he really doesn't want to be with me, why dies he come around so much?


Have you asked him why?


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

canguy66 said:


> Have you asked him why?


I've tried to keep conversations about the state of our relationship to a minimum because I think he gets flustered with my redundant questions. I've taken a "wait and see" approach. Since he can't file until the year is up I thought I'd just wait it out. I can't make him stay if this isn't where he wants to be, and wouldn't want him to either. I guess I'll start asking questions if I never get served.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

With respect, I'd suggest that you pray for strength and clarity, not for him to change his mind.

He may come back, he may not, but you have to take care of you right now. I wish you all the best, and peace as well.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

lamaga said:


> With respect, I'd suggest that you pray for strength and clarity, not for him to change his mind.
> 
> He may come back, he may not, but you have to take care of you right now. I wish you all the best, and peace as well.


Believe me, Iamaga, I've been doing alot of praying over the last year. One good thing that has come out of this is my walk with God. I just pray gor peace. Thanks for your response.


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

I've been in limbo like you for a year....although AFTER the divorce....

He divorced me January 2011 and right away asked me to stay because he loves me, blah, blah....had a "oopsie" reconciliation baby and February 2012 he told me it's not working out....

We were together ALL THE TIME during this year, were intimate up until 3 days before baby's birth (December) and then he moved out of the bedroom....

Don't think just him sticking around a lot will make him decide in ya'lls favor  ....

Unless you see true signs of reconciliation from him, try to live your life without him in the back of your mind....

Hugs !!!


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Good God, Rome...that's AWFUL.


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