# what am i doing wrong?



## graywolf (Sep 8, 2008)

Hi. I'm new to this forum. I've been married to my second husband for a year now. I have 4 abult kids and 1 grand child, he has 2 adults kids and 2 grandchildren. HE has only neg. things to say about my kids. They do things for us, but not as mush as he wants them to. I have one living with us now and he trys to get his step dad to do things with him. but my husband just turns away. My husbands son live with us also. he is 24. He askes his dad to do things and there is no problem. His son has spent most of his child ood in jail. My son has a planned future for the military and graduating from high school. 
I also can not do nothing right. clean, cook, talk, or raise kids. 
we so have money problems.( Husband likes to spend and blame me for it.) I don't know what to do? Or what I'm doing wrong? 
Help Me. Please.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Sounds like the problem is you married the wrong guy by your post, but lets understand more before we just blame him.

Do you work?

Is it diffent situations that you husband turns away from your son compared to his son?

Do you do things for all the kids?

How old is your son still at home?

Is your husband anti military?

draconis


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Hi!

Welcome to the forum. I've got an additional question too. How long did you and husband date before getting married? It sounds like the two of you didn't get to know each other very well. It' s either that or the honeymoon is over.

I sense there are problems just from your title. "What am I doing wrong?" Please don't accept all of the blame for what's going wrong. It sounds as though he isn't exactly perfect.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

:iagree:
I’ll take that a step or two farther. Your husband is selfish and insecure. Ask yourself instead, what can he do to improve things for everyone.


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## graywolf (Sep 8, 2008)

Yes I do work. I work at a Motel and everyone is able to visit me when i do work. I'm close to my kids. They even started there first job with me. My son is 17. He is the last of 4 kids. 
It don't matter what my son does. he is always wrong. Like for example. My husband bought a used jeep. He and my son went to pick it up. No problem. My son put gas in it. and drove it home. The problem is, and I'm not happy with my son. is he lost the only key to the jeep. But He looked for days for it, He went to the dealers to see if the could order a new key, He was trying hard to fix his mistake. but my husband only sees he lost the key. If he lost it. it would be a different story. 
my son asked my husband to go fishing, he just turned away. 
his son hours latter asked and it was yes lets go. 
I enjoy his kids alot. I treat them no different. or I try not to. 
and my husband is a great guy. half the time. 
He wants these rules that are for 12 year olds. I said rules are great. But lets get real. they have to be by 8pm? The boys have girlfriends and they are going to spend a lot of time with them. understandable. right? 
They do things when they are asked to do things. 
but when my husband plays this game of 
there gone and he runs to my and complains about what they did not do or what they did and it was the wrong way. 
to me he is playing me against my kids. 

we do, do things together. shopping. cookouts. birthdays. ect. 
and we have fun. 
Thank last a week and it is back to mood changes. 
I don't let things get to me. If the kids take the garbage out, or do the dishes. laundry. clean the house. I'm happy. 
He don't see that as good things, I don't understand. 
all this is pushing me away from him.
We lived togeter for four and a half years, before i would marry him. He works full time. He was great with the kids before we were married. 
???????:


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I think he feels like he has to compete with your son for your affection.

draconis


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