# Need help ASAP



## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Just found out my son is cheating with a friend of my DIL that lives with them. What do I say to my son? He wasnt brought up this way. Im sick to my stomach right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Daisy Etta (Aug 13, 2014)

Say, "what are you thinking with her? You weren't brought up this way. Try to imagine how your wife will feel! You are hurting her even if she doesn't know it! You could get a disease from skank, or get skank pregnant! Tell your wife now, or I will! She needs to know!"

I really, REALLY wish that my husband's dad, mom, or anyone for that matter, had been able to say these words to my husband during his affair. Part of why he continued as long as he did was because he kept thinking, "it's ok, I'm not going to get caught". So somebody telling him they know would be a great reality check. Without some kind of reality check it could go on for years. Trust me I know.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Do he and his wife have any children? Either way, urge your son to end his affair, confess everything to his wife, and kick OW out on her ass.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I agree with both.
You tell him either he tells his wife or you will.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Thound said:


> Just found out my son is cheating with a friend of my DIL that lives with them. What do I say to my son? He wasnt brought up this way. Im sick to my stomach right now.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Make him feel the level of contempt sadness and disappointment you feel in him

Does his mother know ? if not make him tell her

Does your DIL know Make him tell her

Tell him to get that ungrateful OW out of their home now

55


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

My DIL knows she told us. And yes our grandson is right in the middle. He is our only GC right now. We see him every day, now I face the prospect of seeing only a few times a year. She is from 300 miles away and she may want leave. I was on the brink of giving up on life until he was born. Not sucidal or anything, but he has brought so much joy in my life. 
the OW is a skank. She just wants someone to take care of her. The thing is my wife and I help them out finanacily. Well the gravy train stops here. I will help my DIL and GS. The rest of them can kiss my hairy boney azz.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

You tell him that he either tells his wife or you will and mean it!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Who is this female friend? How did she come to live with them? And how long has she been there?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

My DIL wants to work it out. She has offered counseling, but she said he told her he doesnt love her any more. I call BS. Its just the fog offresh meat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Thound said:


> The thing is my wife and I help them out finanacily. Well the gravy train stops here. I will help my DIL and GS. The rest of them can kiss my hairy boney azz.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yep. Tell your son that you will no longer be funding his playboy lifestyle. The money stops as along at the OW continues to live there and he continues this behavior.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Who is this female friend? How did she come to live with them? And how long has she been there?


She is a high school friend. She moved here to "find work".
I want to beat my son's ass right now!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Thound said:


> My DIL wants to work it out. She has offered counseling, but she said he told her he doesnt love her any more. I call BS. Its just the fog offresh meat.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You have the experience to be a mentor and friend to her now that she desperately needs. 

Can you and your wife take her in? 

What does your wife think of all this mess?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I suppose a high school friend of both of theirs? 

Has she been thrown out you? That's step one.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> You have the experience to be a mentor and friend to her now that she desperately needs.
> 
> Can you and your wife take her in?
> 
> What does your wife think of all this mess?


This is an interesting suggestion. You, Thound and your wife, take in your DL and GC. Then you cut your son off financially. He and the AP will be at each other's throats in days left to their own devices. One of the best ways of breaking up an affair is to let the two AP's have to depend on each other for real.


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## cool12 (Nov 17, 2013)

no advice just want to say i'm sad to hear this. hope it all works out ok.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> You have the experience to be a mentor and friend to her now that she desperately needs.
> 
> Can you and your wife take her in?
> 
> What does your wife think of all this mess?


This is a great idea. It prevents you and the Mrs from being cut off from your GC, while letting your DIL know in concrete terms that you have her back. It also shows DS that everyone knows, and the family does not approve. Hopefully this will knock some sense into them.
Also reinforce to your DS to get counseling. If they don't have insurance, how about clergy, or a free-clinic?


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## bigbearsfan (Feb 11, 2014)

Thound said:


> She is a high school friend. She moved here to "find work".
> I want to beat my son's ass right now!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There is nothing wrong with a father planting his boot in his son's ass if it needs adjustment.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Thound said:


> She is a high school friend. She moved here to "find work".
> I want to beat my son's ass right now!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Another example of that toxic "just friends" culture among the young and young at heart.

Thound, maybe the divorce laws in your neck of the woods are such that your DIL could do an "IvanaTrump" on him ie "don't get mad, get everything.

I think you are right to get involved on this matter.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

She is a life long friend of my DIL.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Thound said:


> She is a life long friend of my DIL.



Well, not anymore.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Life long friend should have respected her marriage. H needs to GTFU in a big way. 

He needs consequences. Real consequences. The oyster's world is no longer his.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> Another example of that toxic "just friends" culture among the young and young at heart.
> 
> Thound, maybe the divorce laws in your neck of the woods are such that your DIL could do an "IvanaTrump" on him ie "don't get mad, get everything.
> 
> I think you are right to get involved on this matter.


He doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to chunk it out of. We subsidize their life, or we used to. I will support her and my grandson.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Thound said:


> Just found out my son is cheating with a friend of my DIL that lives with them. What do I say to my son? He wasnt brought up this way. Im sick to my stomach right now.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You tell him to end it and come clean to his wife or you will do it for him.


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Sorry to hear about this family tragedy.

Consider cutting son off financially and in any other thing he is emotionally invested in that you control. Pull the rug out from under that little pup and his trollup. Let full consequences fall upon them. 

Have frank discussions with DIL to express love and support. Solicit her commitment to maintain your access to grandchild. Coach DIL how to deal with this event. She will need repeated expressions of your support but I would be cautious about giving her handouts with the intent to buy her future cooperation. 

Best of luck.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

I am sorry.  It sounds like your son is headed down a bad road. My inclination would not be to come down on him like a ton of bricks. But to try to get him to explain what he thinks he is doing, including to his own son. But definitely if he is not interested in the conversation turn off the tap.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

commonsenseisn't said:


> Sorry to hear about this family tragedy.
> 
> Consider cutting son off financially and in any other thing he is emotionally invested in that you control. Pull the rug out from under that little pup and his trollup. Let full consequences fall upon them.
> 
> ...


I have already done all of this. DIL and GS are with us now. DIL has all of the money and his truck just broke down this weekend. I was pissed I was going to have to work on it, but I don't have to worry about it now. I told DIL to kill power to their house as it's in her name. I told my son to read up on the prodigal son, because he is about to experience it. I did tell my son that I love him and always will, but he is wrong.


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## highwing (Aug 25, 2014)

Thound said:


> Just found out my son is cheating with a friend of my DIL that lives with them. What do I say to my son? He wasnt brought up this way. Im sick to my stomach right now.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Too bad you can't spank him.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I'm very sorry, Thound. You're a good man. Your DIL and grandson are very lucky to have you. 

Your son is like so many -- just not thinking of the impact of his actions. Financial withdrawal on your part will be a wake-up call for him.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I have spoken my piece to him now we all are going dark.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Yep. Tell your son that you will no longer be funding his playboy lifestyle. The money stops as along at the OW continues to live there and he continues this behavior.


OP tell him keep it up smarta$$

And your mother and I will bypass you on any inheritance and go straight to your GS

Kick his a$$ to do the right thing.

55


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

cool12 said:


> no advice just want to say i'm sad to hear this. hope it all works out ok.


Thank you. Im just glad I have been on TAM for awhile. I feel somewhat prepaired.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Thound said:


> Just found out my son is cheating with a friend of my DIL that lives with them. What do I say to my son?


"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'm ashamed of my own son."


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Thound said:


> She is a high school friend. She moved here to "find work".
> I want to beat my son's ass right now!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do it. Probably about the only thing that will wake him up.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Thound said:


> He doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to chunk it out of. We subsidize their life, or we used to. I will support her and my grandson.


Have you told him that? ETA: Glad that you took her in. I can't imagine a better message to send your son. Have you told him your 'demands' to allow him back into the family?


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

just got it 55 said:


> OP tell him keep it up smarta$$
> 
> And your mother and I will bypass you on any inheritance and go straight to your GS
> 
> ...


I was the trustee for my grandparents estate (because they couldn't trust their four surviving kids) and I had legal authority to do exactly this. I did it on one of the heirs and it was epic. :smthumbup:


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

That's a great idea. Inform him that unless he stops this nonsense he is disowned, legally, financially, and relationshipally. His choice whether to throw away his entire life for a piece of tail.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

turnera said:


> That's a great idea. Inform him that unless he stops this nonsense he is disowned, legally, financially, and *relationshipally*. His choice whether to throw away his entire life for a piece of tail.


I learned a new word today!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Once again you have stood up and done the right and godly thing to protect your family. Your response to your son is very unusual, but if anything will turn him around, this is it. It is breath of fresh air to see a parent hold their child accountable for this sort of thing and move to protect the injured spouse and the grandchild. Good job.


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## Cabsy (Mar 25, 2013)

Good luck, Thound. I like your response so far. It's good that you are in a position of strength in terms of knowing what this plague is about, and I'm very impressed by your support of your DIL and grandson. I wish I had a father like you.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Cabsy said:


> Good luck, Thound. I like your response so far. It's good that you are in a position of strength in terms of knowing what this plague is about, and I'm very impressed by your support of your DIL and grandson. I wish I had a father like you.


Thank you. I wished my GS had a good father right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Your grandson needs a strong man in his life and he has you. That will help him greatly. And hopefully your son will straighten up and fly right (as my mother used to say).


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

You can have a tremendous impact for good on your grandson and his mother.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

I have not been in your shoes, but I would say don't beat up your son too badly. He and DIL have to sort out whether they are going to stay married. If they are going to stay married they should both act like they are married. If not, well it's not like this has never happened before.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

just got it 55 said:


> OP tell him keep it up smarta$$
> 
> And your mother and I will bypass you on any inheritance and go straight to your GS
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree:
Good idea!


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

This stinks. Thinking of you.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Openminded said:


> Your grandson needs a strong man in his life and he has you. That will help him greatly. And hopefully your son will straighten up and fly right (as my mother used to say).


My mother would give him her State of the art backhander

55


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Harken Banks said:


> I have not been in your shoes, but I would say don't beat up your son too badly. He and DIL have to sort out whether they are going to stay married. If they are going to stay married they should both act like they are married. If not, well it's not like this has never happened before.


I disagree. Thound is in a unique position to have a profound effect on his son. If his son is uncomfortable for the next few months while he gets his sh*t together, well, good - that's how we learn and grow. He will always be his son's father, and they can move forward - later. Right now, his son is in the wasteland and needs a guiding hand back. Does he get the one that says "oh, I'm unhappy with you but you gotta do what you gotta do"? Or does he get the one that says "son, you KNOW this is wrong and you only get one life so don't let this fog you're in destroy everything you've built up; I'm here to help you, but this has to stop"?

His son NEEDS his dad to be hardass on him right now. Too many fathers in this generation haven't been the one that scares straight their kids, and look at what's happening. It's all about I gotta make myself happy, damn everyone else. Thound can make a small difference in this. And maybe when his son gets his head out of his ass, he can pass it along to the next guy.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

turnera said:


> I disagree. Thound is in a unique position to have a profound effect on his son. If his son is uncomfortable for the next few months while he gets his sh*t together, well, good - that's how we learn and grow. He will always be his son's father, and they can move forward - later. Right now, his son is in the wasteland and needs a guiding hand back. Does he get the one that says "oh, I'm unhappy with you but you gotta do what you gotta do"? Or does he get the one that says "son, you KNOW this is wrong and you only get one life so don't let this fog you're in destroy everything you've built up; I'm here to help you, but this has to stop"?
> 
> His son NEEDS his dad to be hardass on him right now. Too many fathers in this generation haven't been the one that scares straight their kids, and look at what's happening. It's all about I gotta make myself happy, damn everyone else. Thound can make a small difference in this. And maybe when his son gets his head out of his ass, he can pass it along to the next guy.


:iagree:


I would crucify my sons for this

55


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I have decided to fix his truck. The only reason is because he has to work. I'm hoping he will come to his senses soon. If they work things out he will still need to have his job.
Funny thing about the truck though. The water pump came apart at the skanks place of employment. That's how the affair came to light. God has a way of shining light on our sins.
My son has a lot of respect for me I think. He will have to see me out there in the hot Texas sun working on his truck. He will either have to come out there and help or sit in the A/C and feel like crap.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

ETA: Maybe he IS in an unhappy marriage. Nobody else knows. Although we DO know that cheaters rewrite history, so I would ask his wife what the marriage was like and not take his word for it. So, I would approach this the way we always do - Son, get that OW out of your life. Period. I'm not telling you that you have to stay in an unhappy marriage. You two can address that once the OW is gone (let's not tell him that his fog is going to clear away). But we will NOT ever support you and this woman being together.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

just got it 55 said:


> :iagree:
> 
> 
> I would crucify my sons for this
> ...


Maybe his son is not good for his (that is, son's) wife. My dad got straightened out by my grandfather when he decided he wanted to be an English professor instead of an orthopedic surgeon and my grandfather said hey you have a wife and kids and an MD, pull your act together. My dad was able to do that.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Thound said:


> I have decided to fix his truck. The only reason is because he has to work. I'm hoping he will come to his senses soon. If they work things out he will still need to have his job.
> Funny thing about the truck though. The water pump came apart at the skanks place of employment. That's how the affair came to light. God has a way of shining light on our sins.
> My son has a lot of respect for me I think. He will have to see me out there in the hot Texas sun working on his truck. He will either have to come out there and help or sit in the A/C and feel like crap.


Wait a minute. You are going to fix his truck and not demand that he HELP you? Thound, come on. At the very least he should have to stand right there beside you and hand you wrenches. Have you always done things this way? Maybe that's how he got so entitled. (PS, I know because I see it in my own child)


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

turnera said:


> Wait a minute. You are going to fix his truck and not demand that he HELP you? Thound, come on. At the very least he should have to stand right there beside you and hand you wrenches. Have you always done things this way? Maybe that's how he got so entitled. (PS, I know because I see it in my own child)


The guilt will eat him alive. Believe me I know him.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

That's a passive aggressive way to control your son and doesn't teach him to be forthright and just do the right thing; it teaches him to slink around. Just be upfront. "Son, I've come to fix your car. Get your tools and get out here." He'll respect you more that way and respect himself more that way.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Getting him out there to help you will also give you a perfect opportunity to remind him that what he is doing is not acceptable. We have no idea if his marriage is bad, and it doesn't matter. Decent honorable people don't start one relationship until they have ended the first, and you expect him to act in a decent and honorable manner.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Thound, I think you are handling yourself really well. We can tell you are a great father and grandfather. I'm sorry you have to deal with this situation.

Fixing the car (and saving him big money by bringing it to a mechanic and allowing him to get to work) is a great opportunity for him to understand how messed up his affair is. He will have to listen, if he wants his car fixed 

Hopefully OW is out of their house? She's the lowest of the low- move into your best friend's home on her good graces, then sleep with her husband. Awful.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> He will have to listen, if he wants his car fixed


Exactly. And if he walks away, so do you, car unfinished. It's called a consequence. And a great place for him to learn some much-needed humility.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Well now I see that there are other similar responses, but I wrote this before reading them, so I'm going to post it.


Thound said:


> My son has a lot of respect for me I think. He will have to see me out there in the hot Texas sun working on his truck. He will either have to come out there and help or sit in the A/C and feel like crap.


It would probably be a good idea to have him out there helping, so he can learn how to work on his own truck. I much prefer to show my children how to do something, while having them work with me. It builds relationship and they learn a skill.
It might be a good time for you to listen to what your son has to say and to respond to him by speaking truth into his life. I have found that when I first listen to someone and let them speak their mind, then respond with truth, they tend to listen better. For one thing, my response is based on what they are stating the actual problem to be and offering a new perspective can be helpful to get their thinking back on track.
Personally I would not be out there working while he was sitting inside on his butt.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

CynthiaDe said:


> Well now I see that there are other similar responses, but I wrote this before reading them, so I'm going to post it.
> 
> 
> It would probably be a good idea to have him out there helping, so he can learn how to work on his own truck. I much prefer to show my children how to do something, while having them work with me. It builds relationship and they learn a skill.
> ...


He told my wife he was going to help. I'm not going to say anything unless prompted. I will let him talk if he is so inclined.
I'm waiting for the truck to be towed to my house. I don't care to lay in the grass with the cottonmouths and fire ants.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Man, I'm sorry Thound. You try to raise kids a certain way, with a moral code, but there are sure no guarantees in this life. Thinking of you, brother.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Pluto2 said:


> Getting him out there to(TEACH HIM ) help you will also give you a perfect opportunity to remind him that what he is doing is not acceptable. We have no idea if his marriage is bad, and it doesn't matter. Decent honorable people don't start one relationship until they have ended the first, and you expect him to act in a decent and honorable manner.


Fixed that for ya Pluto2

55


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Thound said:


> I have decided to fix his truck. The only reason is because he has to work. I'm hoping he will come to his senses soon. If they work things out he will still need to have his job.
> Funny thing about the truck though. The water pump came apart at the skanks place of employment. That's how the affair came to light. God has a way of shining light on our sins.
> My son has a lot of respect for me I think. He will have to see me out there in the hot Texas sun working on his truck. He will either have to come out there and help or sit in the A/C and feel like crap.


How old is your Son?... I ask, because I was changing water pumps from my first car and the last one was about 6 years ago. And I'm 51.

He should now how to change a (external)water pump. I would make him watch/help you do it. When you're done, I would tell him "Now you know how to change your own water pump. You should get use to the idea, because the way you're headed, you're going to end up doing a lot of things, alone...".


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Thound said:


> *She is a high school friend. She moved here to "find work".
> *


*It would greatly appear that he has offered her and she has graciously accepted his offer of steady employment! 

But while it's seemingly great for him, it's too damned bad that it doesn't really pay her anything!*


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Thound said:


> He told my wife he was going to help. I'm not going to say anything unless prompted. I will let him talk if he is so inclined.
> I'm waiting for the truck to be towed to my house. I don't care to lay in the grass with the cottonmouths and fire ants.


I do not understand why you are doing for him what he should be doing himself. That builds an entitlement, dependent attitude. It doesn't help him "man up" to his responsibilities, but enables him in not owning up to them.
I don't blame you for having the vehicle towed to a safer place, but letting him off the hook on fixing his own vehicle is not helpful to him in the long run and it doesn't help you either, because you are his daddy taking care of him, which is a lot more work than it should be at this point in his life.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

Thound

Taking your finical support away from your some is a good step. *Is there any other way to make your son pay the consequences of his selfishness?*

Maybe you may want to ask your son if he would be alright if you left his mom for an exciting piece of Puzzy. Afterall that is what your son is doing; he is choosing an exciting piece of P instead of a 100% custody father. He can try and spin it anyway he wants but the bottom line is that he is choosing his perverted emotions and the feelings on the tip of his dik instead of his own son. That is the ultimate of selfishness.

Thound, you sound like a godly man so never turn your back completly on your son permantely and if he takes the right actions give him lots of support but let your prodigal son waddle in the mud with the pigs if that is what he chooses; do not enable him or help ease his suffering if he is going to remain selfish. He needs to see the true cnsequences of his actions as soon as possible. The sooner he gets jolted the better chances that he will get out of his stuperous fog. When he gets right and comes back to you with his tail between his legs then put a fancy robe on him and have a feast with him. That is what I did for my wayward son. We now have a very close relationship.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I really hate working on Fords. Especially diesels.
Well the skank went home 150 miles away. She said she needed to think. I made sure my son did most of the work. That little job cost me ~$600. I told him I only did it so he could get to work, because he needs to support his son.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Tell me again why YOU paid for it?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Thound said:


> I really hate working on Fords. Especially diesels.
> Well the skank went home 150 miles away. She said she needed to think. I made sure my son did most of the work. That little job cost me ~$600. I told him I only did it so he could get to work, because he needs to support his son.


I understand why you paid for it; for your grandson and dil. I am very glad that you made him do most of the work.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Even if my DD24 needed $600 worth of car repair and I had to pay it to get her to work, you can BET she wouldn't leave without a payment plan in place to pay me back. You've said he's a spoiled brat. This is why.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

CynthiaDe said:


> I understand why you paid for it; for your grandson and dil. I am very glad that you made him do most of the work.


:iagree:
I know where Turnera is coming from but yes for the grandkid this time.
Tough love next time imo.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

If he can afford to woo the sl*t roommate, he can afford to pay his dad back $25/month.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

iwontliedown said:


> Who is your own flesh and blood? Who carries your name? Your son!
> Don't destroy your relationship with your son who you know from the first day of his life for a girl that you came to know from adulthood and was introduced by your son. Blood is thicker than water.
> Sure give him advice. Ask him to get his priorities straight. But DONT try to blackmail him with sentences like "I know, so either you tell it or I do".....
> 
> And lastly, you are entering a period of life where you will need your son. Old age is a lonely time if there is no one to talk. You don't make new friends. So don't destroy the most important relationship in your life. Your son.


Yes he is my son and yes I will always love him, but I will not enable him, and I will not accept the OW. Everyone all ready knows.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

iwontliedown said:


> Who is your own flesh and blood? Who carries your name? Your son!
> Don't destroy your relationship with your son who you know from the first day of his life for a girl that you came to know from adulthood and was introduced by your son. Blood is thicker than water.
> Sure give him advice. Ask him to get his priorities straight. But DONT try to blackmail him with sentences like "I know, so either you tell it or I do".....
> 
> And lastly, you are entering a period of life where you will need your son. Old age is a lonely time if there is no one to talk. You don't make new friends. So don't destroy the most important relationship in your life. Your son.


Nah, I'm pretty cool with the financial blackmail. His son is walking all over his wife and their child. He's a grown man, if he can't see what he's doing is wrong then son or not he's not worth it.

You only stick with people who deserve it. This all occurring because he's cheating and breaking up his family.

Well done Thound


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

GROUNDPOUNDER said:


> How old is your Son?... I ask, because I was changing water pumps from my first car and the last one was about 6 years ago. And I'm 51.
> 
> He should now how to change a (external)water pump. I would make him watch/help you do it. When you're done, I would tell him "Now you know how to change your own water pump. You should get use to the idea, because the way you're headed, you're going to end up doing a lot of things, alone...".


:iagree:

Why isn't he able to do it himself?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

I can build and re-build laptops, workstations, and servers all day long, but if I have to get under the hood of a vehicle, I immediately lose about 50 IQ points. But still...

Google and YouTube FTW.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> I can build and re-build laptops, workstations, and servers all day long, but if I have to get under the hood of a vehicle, I immediately lose about 50 IQ points. But still...
> 
> Google and YouTube FTW.


I grew up in the 60s, 70s. There was no Internet, cell phones, and our TV only got 3 stations. We lived out in the country. On weekends, I would help my dad work on our cars and tractors.
We rebuilt the engine in my 72 Chevelle, and replaced the transmission several times. I seemed to be hard on transmissions back then. I sure miss those days.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Why isn't he able to do it himself?


Mostly because I was a lousy father. When I would work on vehicles I would just do it to get it over with rather than show him how to do it.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

turnera said:


> If he can afford to woo the sl*t roommate, he can afford to pay his dad back $25/month.




Son will respect himself more if he does.



He may find self-respect is something worth having.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Do you have any sense of what is going on inside your son right now, Thound?



Is he remorseful?



Is he accepting responsibility?



Maybe now is not the time, but both of the may benefit from understanding there was risk in inviting OW to live with them. Protecting the marriage should have been their first concern, and sometimes that means avoiding situations that create opportunity and temptation.



Might she or he get anything from Not Just Friends, or other relevant books?



How old are they?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Spoken like a scorned son. 

He has a point, though, Thound. Maybe you didn't do such a great job. But you can make up for it now by showing him ways to move forward in grace and logic and integrity. Show him what it looks like, advise him on what it looks like, offer to help him make choices (rather than just demand them). Start the bonding.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Wow, thats one angry and entitled person there.

Ignore!


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Wow!!! Thanks. May I have another.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

```

```



iwontliedown said:


> *Thound: "He doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to chunk it out of."
> "DIL has all of the money. I told DIL to kill power to their house as it's in her name."*
> 
> You have not only raised a son who is incapable of earning a decent salary, you have also raised a son who is that stupid to put his house and money in his wife's name. No wonder he doesn't have the common sense not to engage in an affair while in such deep s***.
> ...


I think you need to lie down and take some meds as well. I know I have spoiled him, but I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS AFFAIR. Maybe I'm not the best father, but I was always there for him. He never went hungry, he never went shoddily dressed, he always had a roof over his head. I was at all of his games. We played music together. This whole ordeal is just mind blowing. Him and his wife were doing great and in 4 days he falls in love with a girl who has a reputation of being easy. I just don't know.
But I think you may need help yourself.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

I'll confess I am torn about how much is effective to try to dictate and how much to stay quiet about, how much anger to show and how much to emphasize it is his life not yours, Thound (though, of course, it is proper you stand up for your grandkid's interests).

All I can think one in Thound's position can do when considering any particular action or inaction, is introspect about these:

* Are you rightly setting a limit on what you are willing to do for him knowing what you know, because you find it violates your personal code?

* Are you trying to insulate him from natural consequences of his choices? (Seems not )

* Are you trying to force him to do something whether or not he yet has the wisdom to understand it is the smart and honorable thing to do, and whether or not he can see it is his choice and not yours. If he thinks you are forcing him, then he will resist doing it and have a bias against other smart choices in the future. He will also not develop the wisdom in himself.

Sorry you and yours have to deal with this, Thound.


ETA: IMO, it is proper to establish your own boundaries and set your own limits, Thound, with everyone, including your son. 

Also, my comments here were made not while thinking of any particular action you are taking or not taking (I've not retained enough of the details about what is going on). They are just me rambling out loud about the sort of quandary you are in.

Good luck.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Im having a hard time comprehending what I'm doing wrong. How is my cutting off finical aid controlling? How is my not contacting him controlling? How is supporting my DIL and GS controlling?


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

turnera said:


> Spoken like a scorned son.
> 
> He has a point, though, Thound. Maybe you didn't do such a great job. But you can make up for it now by showing him ways to move forward in grace and logic and integrity. Show him what it looks like, advise him on what it looks like, *offer to help him make choices (rather than just demand them). Start the bonding.*


If he's hit bottom, maybe he would be especially open to that.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Thound said:


> Im having a hard time comprehending what I'm doing wrong. How is my cutting off finical aid controlling? How is my not contacting him controlling? How is supporting my DIL and GS controlling?


I don't think it necessarily is controlling.

Maybe the question is: Is it the most effective thing you can do?

I have no idea what "message" he has received from what you have said and what you have done. 

If it's something like this:

"You are going to do x, y, and z or else I'm not going to ___", then maybe that's not as effective as:

"You're my son and I will always love you. But, I don't like and I don't respect your choices here. I am here if you have a sincere interest in doing the right still to be done for DIL and GS; I will gladly help you figure out your choices. Until then, I am going to do what I can for DIL and GS, because I love them too, and they are going to be hurting from this more than I think you realized. Take care of yourself."


Maybe the first sounds more like a demand, and the second sounds more like he has choices to make, but his choices will have consequences from you -- not consequences that you are imposing from on high, but consequences that stem naturally from your intent to live by your own honorable code and let the chips fall where they may. Even if they fall on him.

YMMV.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Basically I have told him I love him and I always will. I also told him I will not give him any money to carry on this affair. If he is hungry he can come over and eat. But the OW is persona non grata.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Perfect.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Thound said:


> ```
> 
> ```
> This whole ordeal is just mind blowing. Him and his wife were doing great and in 4 days he falls in love with a girl who has a reputation of being easy. I just don't know.
> But I think you may need help yourself.


Can you explain a little more about what happened? How did this all happen in 4 days?
How long has the OW been living with them?
You said she went back home, but did she quit her job?
How long has the affair been going on? 
I feel like I'm forgetting something. Please give us a more clear picture of what is going on.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

CynthiaDe said:


> Can you explain a little more about what happened? How did this all happen in 4 days?
> How long has the OW been living with them?
> You said she went back home, but did she quit her job?
> How long has the affair been going on?
> I feel like I'm forgetting something. Please give us a more clear picture of what is going on.


I will try. My DILs best friend moved in with them a month or so ago to try and find a job in our area. My wife and I told them it was a big mistake, but it happened any way. My son told us 2 weeks ago the OW was annoying and he wished she would go home. Friday 2 weeks ago my DIL went out of state with her brother to see their dad. I told my son to come stay with us so that he would not be alone with her. Well he didn't listen and went home. I knew something was up because he skipped watch football with me. They don't have cable at their house. I called him to come stay here and he had better be careful. He played dumb. He is a very good actor. I knew in my gut what was going on and even told my wife. Last Wednesday my son called from a shopping strip that his truck broke down. The same shopping strip where the OW works. My DIL got them to confess they both said it meant nothing. 2 days later they are in love and he starts sleeping in her room with my DIL and GS in the same 2 bedroom house. That's when my DIL and GS came to live with us. My son said she could stay there, but he was sleeping with the skank.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Wow. That fast? My guess? Your son has been tapping whatever he could get his hands on the whole time. I know lots of guys like him. And, of course, she TARGETED him.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

My DIL said that is her MO. Every relationship she has been in is when she stole someone else's partner. If I had known that before hand I would have done everything in my power to convince them not to let her move in.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

But then again I'm controlling.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Why did DIL ok her moving in then?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Your son sucks.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Thound said:


> 2 days later they are in love and he starts sleeping in her room with my DIL and GS in the same 2 bedroom house. That's when my DIL and GS came to live with us. My son said she could stay there, but he was sleeping with the skank.




Yikes, that is harsh.



I can understand the withdrawal of your financial support, as well as inviting DIL and GS into your home. I hope I'd do the same.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

*Originally Posted by iwontliedown*
And besides you taking such actions now smells of controlling behaviour in your part.
This reeks of childhood emotional abuse and control behaviour. Shame on you!
You say you love your son, but I highly doubt it.



. 

*Thound
You are father that cares deeply for your son and DIL-GS and have provd that by your actions.* For those that are knocking you I wonder how many are fathers that have raised children to adulthood?


Your son is being very selfish and needs consequences to try and jolt him out of his selfishness and fog. *You are strong enough to risk your temporary closeness with your son in order to get him to stop his destruction of himself and you’re DIL-GS*. You do not have to prove anything to us so do not listen to anyone that is telling you that you are a bad father and not taking the right actions and that you do not love your son. 

When the shyt hits the fan again and your son has to face the betrayal and consequences he did to his wife and son there will be plenty of shyt scattered all over and none of us will be there to help you and your son. *You will be there as you always have been* so tell those that tell you that you are a failure and that they doubt that you love your son to kiss you AZZ, not on the right side or the left side but right smack in the middle of you AZZ!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Thanks for clarifying, Thound. That is a terrible story. I can imagine you must be beside yourself with horror over this whole thing. No wonder you were sick to your stomach.
You are handling this very well. Eventually your son will realize his error and you will be there to help him sort through it all and get back on a better path.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Thound said:


> But then again I'm controlling.


Well, yeah, cos that's THEIR home and marriage and not yours, so...


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## bigbearsfan (Feb 11, 2014)

iwontliedown said:


> *Thound: "He doesn't have a pot to piss in or a window to chunk it out of."
> "DIL has all of the money. I told DIL to kill power to their house as it's in her name."*
> 
> You have not only raised a son who is incapable of earning a decent salary, you have also raised a son who is that stupid to put his house and money in his wife's name. No wonder he doesn't have the common sense not to engage in an affair while in such deep s***.
> ...


And who the F*ck are you to tell someone that they don't love their son?

God, there is some people who need a boot in there ass because they definitely need it!


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Ignore the one insult Thound. Somebody clearly has daddy issues.

I'm sure you are a great father and have handled yourself as near as perfect in this situation as possible. 

Son f--ked up. (Big time after you elaborated). He will realize it sooner or later. He will learn from this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

Thound you are doing a great job. Ignore those that say you are being controlling. You have enough on your plate to even give a second to their ridiculous opinions. 

Sorry you are in this mess. But keep on. What you are doing is wise and loving.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Seriously. I wish ALL dads would handle their cheating child this way!


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## JerryB (Feb 13, 2014)

Amen.

This is the most manly thread on this site.

I hope your son pulls his head out of his ass, Thound. I'm sure he'd like to breath again.
And he's lucky to have you there by him, when he does.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Thanks for all the kind replies. My DIL is leaving 2100 miles from us and taking our GS. My wife and I are devastated. We see them every day. Its going to hurt, but if thats what she needs to do so be it. She said she would be back for Christmas, but who knows what will happen before then. I dont think things will work out between my son and the skank. They are both too selfish.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Thound said:


> Thanks for all the kind replies. My DIL is leaving 2100 miles from us and taking our GS. My wife and I are devastated. We see them every day. Its going to hurt, but if thats what she needs to do so be it. She said she would be back for Christmas, but who knows what will happen before then. I dont think things will work out between my son and the skank. They are both too selfish.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's a pretty hard blow, too. I see my grandson every day, or very nearly, and it would kill me to have that taken away even though, like you, I understand why.

Just another reason to metaphorically punch your son's lights out.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Wow. That's going to be really hard. I'm praying for you and your family.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

CynthiaDe said:


> Wow. That's going to be really hard. I'm praying for you and your family.


Thank you. We need them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

All though some replies are harsh, some ring true. Looking back we never let our children fail. I cannot go back and change it now, We can change now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

That's good knowledge to help with your grandkids.

At a PTA meeting once when DD was in elementary, we had a speaker say he'd been at the school all day, watching parents rush in to bring a kid's homework or lunch or sweater...that the kids had forgotten. He pointed out that we are doing our kids a disservice by making life easy for them when they're young; that they need to experience unhappiness or stress, to learn to make better decisions. He said if Johnny forgets his lunch and has to go without or eat the school's PB&J sandwich, he's much more likely to remember his lunch tomorrow. And he said if he makes a 0 on his 2nd grade vocabulary homework, well, so what? At least he'll learn to remember to bring it so that, when he's in college, he's not still forgetting and failing out on YOUR dime. And letting him solve a problem with a classmate in 3rd grade, even if he gets in a scuffle and then gets punished, doing THAT time is a lot better than you jumping in and solving his problems for him so that he never learns to make better decisions - because if he's still making dumb decisions in college, they'll be the kind that put him in jail and you won't be around to save him anyway. I've always remembered that speech. And I raised DD24 accordingly. Her friends? Not so much.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

turnera said:


> That's good knowledge to help with your grandkids.
> 
> At a PTA meeting once when DD was in elementary, we had a speaker say he'd been at the school all day, watching parents rush in to bring a kid's homework or lunch or sweater...that the kids had forgotten. He pointed out that we are doing our kids a disservice by making life easy for them when they're young; that they need to experience unhappiness or stress, to learn to make better decisions. He said if Johnny forgets his lunch and has to go without or eat the school's PB&J sandwich, he's much more likely to remember his lunch tomorrow. And he said if he makes a 0 on his 2nd grade vocabulary homework, well, so what? At least he'll learn to remember to bring it so that, when he's in college, he's not still forgetting and failing out on YOUR dime. And letting him solve a problem with a classmate in 3rd grade, even if he gets in a scuffle and then gets punished, doing THAT time is a lot better than you jumping in and solving his problems for him so that he never learns to make better decisions - because if he's still making dumb decisions in college, they'll be the kind that put him in jail and you won't be around to save him anyway. I've always remembered that speech. And I raised DD24 accordingly. Her friends? Not so much.


Very good advice. My son texted me saying he needs diesel. He is off for the weekend after today. I think I will put in $40 Sunday evening. He still has to work so that my DIL can get her money. She has the only debit card. I wonder if she can get CS even though she is just seperated? We live in TX.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I'm sorry about your grandson. It's a difficult thing when you are used to seeing a grandchild every day to not having that any longer. I was afraid moving would be her choice as I'm sure she wants the support of her family.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Openminded said:


> I'm sorry about your grandson. It's a difficult thing when you are used to seeing a grandchild every day to not having that any longer. I was afraid moving would be her choice as I'm sure she wants the support of her family.


Her family is scattered. Her mom lives in Austin, her dad is in Missouri sister in Washington etc.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

not letting your son feel has nothing to do with this. the absolutely horrible treatment that he showed his wife is all on him. 

your daughter in law needs to see a lawyer and work out its separation agreement and a child support agreement because yes she is still going to be eligible for child support.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

p.s have you ever heard of eBay? Maybe your son should sell something of his to help put gas in the car.

you aren't planning on making his child support payments are you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

clipclop2 said:


> p.s have you ever heard of eBay? Maybe your son should sell something of his to help put gas in the car.
> 
> you aren't planning on making his child support payments are you?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hell YEAH!

Plus, if he's near any of the regular cities in Texas, he has access to bookoo.com, at which he can sell anything to LOCAL people and just meet them or have them come to his house to make the exchange.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

that should have said fail and not feel by the way
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Urge your son to tell the truth and end the affair. However if he is very young and thinking with his di...ck i doubt he will listen


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Sports Fan said:


> Urge your son to tell the truth and end the affair. However if he is very young and thinking with his di...ck i doubt he will listen


He is not hiding it. He is wallowing in it.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Thound said:


> Very good advice. My son texted me saying he needs diesel. He is off for the weekend after today. I think I will put in $40 Sunday evening. He still has to work so that my DIL can get her money. She has the only debit card. I wonder if she can get CS even though she is just seperated? We live in TX.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




Pretty sure TX does not have legal separation. What that means re. CS, I have no idea.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Thound said:


> Very good advice. My son texted me saying he needs diesel. He is off for the weekend after today. I think I will put in $40 Sunday evening. He still has to work so that my DIL can get her money. She has the only debit card. I wonder if she can get CS even though she is just seperated? We live in TX.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Tell him to ask his mistress to fill the tank. Seriously, Thound, if he had to WALK to work a couple days because real life hit him squarely between the eyes, it wouldn't kill him. 

So far you've paid HUNDREDS of dollars for a car repair, and now you're giving him gas money? I sure wouldn't. He had a life that involved you being willing to help and all he had to do was honor his promises to his own wife and child. He threw all that away for a piece of @ss! Let him walk!

BTW, next time he calls asking for "gas money" if I were you I'd just say "Sorry. I'm more than willing to help any way I can when you are acting as a husband and man of character. When you make the choice to continue in adultery after being caught--you're on your own. I won't finance it."


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Affaircare said:


> Tell him to ask his mistress to fill the tank. Seriously, Thound, if he had to WALK to work a couple days because real life hit him squarely between the eyes, it wouldn't kill him.
> 
> So far you've paid HUNDREDS of dollars for a car repair, and now you're giving him gas money? I sure wouldn't. He had a life that involved you being willing to help and all he had to do was honor his promises to his own wife and child. He threw all that away for a piece of @ss! Let him walk!
> 
> BTW, next time he calls asking for "gas money" if I were you I'd just say "Sorry. I'm more than willing to help any way I can when you are acting as a husband and man of character. When you make the choice to continue in adultery after being caught--you're on your own. I won't finance it."


Yea, I'm torn about the gas money. I want him to keep his job in case they R. Also he needs his job to pay for GS. If he doesn't support his son, I will completely cut him off. Am I doing right?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO KEEP HIM IN HIS JOB.

Got it?

If he were the decent son and husband you thought, you would be MORE THAN HAPPY to help him support his kids. As it is, HE NEEDS TO LEARN that if he goes to the dark side...HE'S SCREWED.

Time to learn that lesson. 

Your DIL and your GS will be fine. Stop making excuses for your son.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I have to be honest--if it were me, I'd write a check for $40 to your DIL and GS and then tell your son that you sent his gas money TO HIS WIFE, and if he wants it he knows where it is. 

Here's the thing, Thound: marriages have survived one spouse or the other losing a job. And if he loses his job and his wife for this floozy, he just may learn a LOT faster that the cost of adultery is "losing everything AND going to jail"! Because being unemployed in no way will relinquishes his responsibility to pay CS for his son. No judge on the planet will say 'Oh well you can stop paying CS if you aren't earning anything' and your son will bet in legal trouble for choosing a wistress!

See, Thound, you are protecting him from experiencing the natural consequences of his choices. He's an adult. He has been confronted about his adultery and he is purposefully choosing to continue! Well... the price of that is that he has to figure out how to pay for his own car care and his own gas money AND the CS he will still owe! And if he doesn't pay, it will be the judge and society that comes down on him--not his SOON TO BE EX nor you. 

Get it?

Let him learn his life lesson. I'm sure he'll be mad but you are his father--not his buddy. He needs to learn that choosing adultery comes at an EXTREMELY high price.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

How old is your son?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

15 from the sound of it.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

No. He is 25 going on 14.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

He was always a difficult selfish child. We had nothing but hell with him. But I still love him.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Thound said:


> He was always a difficult selfish child. We had nothing but hell with him. But I still love him.


If you love him, you will do the HARDEST thing a parent can do - let a child suffer and learn from his own mistakes. What 25 year old with a family doesn't have enough money for gas? You've already shown _here _a pattern of saving him from himself. 

Help him grow up - by no longer propping him up.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Maybe you should love him enough to help him grow up.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Why doesn't he have money for gas? That is one of the first things that should come out of the budget.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

CynthiaDe said:


> Why doesn't he have money for gas? That is one of the first things that should come out of the budget.


1.) he is terrible with money
2.) DIL took most of it when she moved out so it wouldn't be pissed away. And she need money for diapers etc.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Thound said:


> 1.) he is terrible with money
> 2.) DIL took most of it when she moved out so it wouldn't be pissed away. And she need money for diapers etc.


How do people learn to manage their money? What do you think giving him money for necessities when he has squandered to for him?
I would have a hard time with this situation too, but it sounds like your son is relying on you to meet his obligations rather than meeting them himself. Maybe it would be a good idea to sit down with him and have a talk about what his responsibilities are and how he is shooting himself in the foot by living this way. If it is too far for him to walk, you could give him the money, after the talk, and let him know that this it the last time you are going to meet his obligations for him when he has not put any thought or effort into being responsible.
However, if he can walk to work, that would be much better. It would be good for him on many levels.
Don't be afraid to let him suffer the consequences of his actions. It's really okay.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Do you feel like you are punishing him if you don't give him money for necessities?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I have decided to put $40 in his tank Sunday. And Im going to tell him to make it last, because Im done. He should get paid in a week or so. That should last him unless he runs around thru the week.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Look, I think you are continuing to prop him up.

He can sell something.

My 19 year old NEVER asks me for money. She pays her way.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Just heard the skank's dad is headed to our area to beat up my son. I'm concerned, because my son is 5'6" and weighs 125 pounds.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Thound said:


> Just heard the skank's dad is headed to our area to beat up my son. I'm concerned, because my son is 5'6" and weighs 125 pounds.



Why would the skank's dad care? It not like the skank was innocent in all this.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I understand your concern for the safety of your son. You love your son and you don't want him hurt. No one does. That doesn't change the fact that his actions actions have consequences. I suppose if you want you can warn your son, but after that he has to deal with it. Do not, do not, do not, step into this. It has a call to the cops written all over it.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I wished he would bend my son over his knee and spank him right in front of her. I would imagine that would lower his attractiveness.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Surely, you're not going to show up to protect him, are you?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Thound said:


> Just heard the skank's dad is headed to our area to beat up my son. I'm concerned, because my son is 5'6" and weighs 125 pounds.


Pray for your son and leave him in God's hands.
Did you discuss with him what he ought to do if he dad shows up? Have you asked him if he would like to pray with you and develop a plan on how to get back on the right track to save his family and resolve the problems that he is facing?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Thound said:


> Just heard the skank's dad is headed to our area to beat up my son. I'm concerned, because my son is 5'6" and weighs 125 pounds.


Whatever happened with this? Is your son okay? Are his wife and son still gone?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

CynthiaDe said:


> Whatever happened with this? Is your son okay? Are his wife and son still gone?


Her dad never did anything. Nothing has changed here. DIL and GS still with us. My son has not visited his son for weeks. I am so disgusted and ashamed of him.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Oh dear. That's really awful. I'm glad your DIL and GS are still with you though. That must be a comfort.
Did the OW go back to where she came from or is she living with your son?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

CynthiaDe said:


> Oh dear. That's really awful. I'm glad your DIL and GS are still with you though. That must be a comfort.
> Did the OW go back to where she came from or is she living with your son?


No they are still shacked up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

Thound said:


> No they are still shacked up.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I feel really sorry for you Thound. You have done the best you could with bringing up your son the right way, and how does he repay you? What cheaters don't seem to realize (or care about?) is that they are not just betraying their spouse- it's their whole family.
The fact that he is letting the skank stay with him and has not even bothered with his own son says a lot. I wish there was something your DIL could do to rip him a new one


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