# How do you get through this? (stupid heartbreak)



## team12 (Apr 16, 2011)

One day I think I'm fine and the next day it hits me. Everything I loved about my life is slipping away. The promise of being loved for better or worse, the promise of having kids and a family of my own. It feels like a game of chess to try fix things. Unfortunately I suck at it. I'm scared to say or do the wrong things. How did we get here? Eight years together four married and he'd rather walk away than go to counseling. We we're the couple that didn't fight and everyone thought was perfect for each other. We had so much fun together. We also didn't have sex much, I'm not saying it was flawless. He says he loves me and doesn't want to hurt me. At least he did back then in March. I know people survive this and ultimately whatever happens I somehow will too. But is their anything I can do in the mean time? When it first happened I talked to a therapist and took her advice on antidepressants. I did this until late May. I've read books like "Love Must be Tough" and have started reading "Love Dare". So far I have like both but the information seems to contradict one another. I read another book called "Coming Apart" which suggest relationships aren't meant to last. I guess deep down I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. The reality of us not being able to work through this is
excruciatingly painful. Stupid stupid heartbreak.


----------



## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

I'm afraid there is no cure, except time. Wishing you the best.


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Time and more time. Unfortunately.

Get into IC, share alot, blog and get a support group. Get ready for the ride of your life!

It happened to me in March too. But stbxh is not in touch with his feelings but I had to protect myself. I had no idea he was a zombie stuffing all of his feelings.

Not only have I learned that I can feel this enormous pain (and live and learn through it) but I have strength that I never even knew about. 

Now I know that if I want to feel great heights of joy and being alive I had to learn deep valleys of pain will provide the measurement. It is called Life.

You are going to be okay, believe it or not.

I know I am going to be okay even though:

My stbxh flipped out on me
Divorce is in 5 days
I lost a 3/4 carat diamond
I was rear ended
I need a job
Unemployment stopped
Need to sell house, can't afford mortgage

But my trust in God is increasing! Someone told me that I am getting a crash course. Feels like it.


----------



## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

(((((((((((((HUGS!!!)))))))))))) Sparkles!!! You Will Make It.


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

thanks shoo:
Getting my mojo back would be great too!!


----------



## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Your story sounds very similar to mine. Life goes on and things change. You will be fine by and by. Time and a determination that you are worth more than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and asking WHY will put you in the settings to keep moving forward in life. I pray the very best to you in thi situation.


----------



## dojo (Jul 4, 2011)

It's not easy at all to cope with all of this. Only time can do the healing. You can help by getting involved in fun activities and being able to move on. It's easier said than done, unfortunately


----------



## Scooby23224 (Oct 20, 2011)

Wow. For a minute there, I thought I had posted that. I am going through this right now. Very fresh, less than 2 months since I found out he was cheating. One month since he left. I have been leaning heavily on friends and God. I can totally relate to one day you think everything is ok and then BAM, you are down again. I guess the good days will get more and more and the bad will get less and less as time goes by, but I don't feel that right now. All I can say is try to keep busy, try to distract yourself, clean things in your house that you haven't done in ages, go to five different department stores looking for a tablecloth. Just keep busy. Praying for your situation (and for mine).


----------

