# The Change



## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Hello ladies. My apologies for intruding in your forum again but I had a question.

I have seen a few of you mention that once you got a little older you suddenly became more interested in sex. I have read and heard that several places.

What I am curious about is: Was it like an overnight thing? Was it gradual? How did you notice it and would I recognize it in my wife? She is turning 44 this month and I'm still waiting for her to stop being anti-sex much less horny!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I really do not want to make you feel bad, but the likely truth is that she is not sexually attracted to you vs. a general decline of her libido. Put her in a room with a ready and willing Brad Pitt (or her choice), and you'd find out pretty quick if she's really "lost" the drive. 

Waiting isn't really a great strategy. You can make yourself more sexually attractive by changing any behaviors that make you appear weak to her--that is a total turn off for most women. I don't want to have sex with you if I feel like your mom, having to take care of you and your stuff. Do it yourself. And, flirt with her in a way that makes her feel sexual. Don't jump into "down and dirty" talk suddenly; change slowly and watch her reaction to see if it is working (but, give it time, too). 

Good luck.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Been there, doing that. This was just more of a curiosity question.

Unless she is lying to me (which is certainly possible) she just isn't into it regardless of how I act or feel. She even told me on Friday she has zero turn-ons, which I find impossible to believe.


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## tpb72 (Feb 18, 2011)

I'm 38 right now and have to say it's been retarded high the last couple of years. I'm so lucky that my man has a similar libido to keep up


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

frustr8dhubby said:


> Been there, doing that. This was just more of a curiosity question.
> 
> Unless she is lying to me (which is certainly possible) she just isn't into it regardless of how I act or feel. She even told me on Friday she has zero turn-ons, which I find impossible to believe.


What did you do to make yourself more attractive? Be honest?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

isnt it at least possible that she legitimately has no sex drive? it does happen


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

okeydokie said:


> isnt it at least possible that she legitimately has no sex drive? it does happen


True, and that means a thorough medical work up is in order. If she has done that, at least she has tried.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

sisters359 said:


> True, and that means a thorough medical work up is in order. If she has done that, at least she has tried.


took mine forever to finally check into it, turns out she had thyroid issues.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Syrum,

Trying the whole manning up thing. Also trying to lose a little weight but that is a slow process at the moment..

okeydokie,

Certainly possible. She went to the GP and everything was fine but I can't get her to go to the gyno.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

frustr8dhubby said:


> okeydokie,
> 
> Certainly possible. She went to the GP and everything was fine but I can't get her to go to the gyno.


and that leads one to believe she doesnt want to make things better. either tell you what her issues are with you, or if she hasnt got anything tangable, get a checkup. one of those two things is contributing to her disdain for intimacy, she has to want to fix it (this would go for a HE also)


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## surfergirl (Jan 27, 2011)

frustr8dhubby said:


> Hello ladies. My apologies for intruding in your forum again but I had a question.
> 
> I have seen a few of you mention that once you got a little older you suddenly became more interested in sex. I have read and heard that several places.
> 
> What I am curious about is: Was it like an overnight thing? Was it gradual? How did you notice it and would I recognize it in my wife? She is turning 44 this month and I'm still waiting for her to stop being anti-sex much less horny!



How long has she been anti-sex?


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

okiedokie,

EXACTLY! She tells me repeatedly that she is content and happy and that nothing is wrong. I actually get kind of frustrated hearing how great I am but then her not wanting to be intimate, it doesn't match up in my simple little mind. (And yes, I have a bit of the Nice Guy syndrome so I have been working on that some but I don't think that is the whole issue...)

sufergirl,

It has pretty much been declining since we had kids so about 10+ years. But it's been the worst in the last 5-7 years.

Apparently you folks haven't read my other posts?


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