# 17 yrs. gone in a week wife left with women



## brokenhearted2009 (Jan 3, 2009)

hi every one its been a ruff week, i went to pick up a car on 12/26 in kc 12/27 came home to my wife said she was spliting up. she left on 12/31 and on 12/31 my daughter told me that when i was gone the friend my wife had met went to dinner with them on 12/26 and came home with them. then they went to bed. my daughter needed a pillow for her friend which was spending the nite. she knocked on our bedroom door that was locked and my wife hide behind the door and was naked with her hair wet, handed her the pillow and locked the door back my daughter was stuned. ive been calling and talking to her to try to work it out but she has this other person pulling her away. when she left i knew none of this she told me she needed a few days to sort things out. she needed space , but how do u give space, when thats what broke u up, i have been trying to but, when she sees me and the kids she will hug and kiss me and tell me she loves me. but she insists on stay until gone till 1/4/09 she says shes trying to find her an apartment with no luck. would love to go pick her up, fight for her but iam lost.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

I am sorry for you. It must be horrible.

What your wife did was detestable. Right now you want to beg and plead for her to come home. In truth this is absolutely the wrong tact. I know you are hurting but you need to completely shut down any signs of affection from you or desire for her to return. When she tries to hug or kiss you you need to not accept it. You need to be a rock with her. If she asks why? Then you need to tell her that you deserve better then this (because you do). Only speak to her about the children and finances. This is important! The only power you have is the emotion and love you give her or withhold. When she is in a situation like this she MUST know that she can only have the love of one person. Her or you. This is seriously, the only power you have at this point. Does she work? Is she financially independent? Is the other woman in another relationship? What do you know about her? Or can you find out anything about her? This is tough, But unless you immediately give her a complete cold shoulder and pull any and all financial and emotional support. She will believe she can have both of you if she wants. This is called cake eating. If the cars are yours take them. If you are the sole provider close your account to her. In closing, I will leave you with this. YOU CAN NOT GET HER BACK BY BEING SWEET AND NICE OR BEGGING OR PLEADING. NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK. THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT AND THEREFORE THE RESPONSIBILITY LIES TOTALLY WITH HER. 

You can waist your time and allow her to cement her relationship with this woman by trying to love her back to you. It won't work.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

Please read through the threads here. You will find example after example after example of husbands and wives who try to love there spouses back to them. You could wait months and still be in the same situation. Do not let her see you cry. Or ask her to come back. It has to be her choice.

This is obviously not a one night stand. This other woman is poisoning your wife about you. You can not control this. All you can do is take care of you and your daughter. How old is she? If she is looking for an apartment the OW might be in a relationship herself. So she could be cheating too. You need to find out what you can. If your daughter is old enough. Your wife will try to explain things to her. You daughter can find out info on her (its her family too that your wife is destroying). We can talk about that later.


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