# Anyone try "off weekends" prior to the big decision?



## Ataloss (Jul 8, 2009)

My husband and I are contemplating separation and/or divorce. Before I go into detail, I just plainly want to ask if anyone has ever heard of doing an "off weekend" thing. In other words, each spouse alternates weekends and goes elsewhere...family, friends, etc. just to get away while the other stays home with the kids. This was my idea and it's more about me. He wants us to be together...I'm the one that questions it and I feel I need to do a lot of soul searching. We would just separate to begin with, but we have 3 small children and don't want to disrupt too much until we have a solid decision. I'd like to hear thoughts/advice/opinions on this and if anyone has ever tried it or have heard of others who have. If I get responses, I can fill in the blanks more on details if necessary. Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Wow! Your title caught my eye! My estranged husband was having "off weekends" for the last 18 months that we were officially living together. He has carrying the girl friends on nice trips and partying it up. When he showed back up to the house on Sunday evenings, he was disgusting.... all hung-over and majorly SNORING on the couch. Needless to say I was pissed and things deteriorated!

If you and your husband truly want to try this approach, perhaps put down some ground rules. That is if you still have trust in the relationship (and he isn't lying). What else have you tried?


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## Ataloss (Jul 8, 2009)

Thanks for the reply, Aug. I can say that the weekends you speak of aren't exactly the type of thing I was talking about; however, I can see how this is one of the risks taken when going about this scenario. My goal here was only to get answers relating to experiences of this scenario, for whatever reasons were behind it. I must say, there IS a lot more to this, some of which is in "considering divorce" section. If you click my name and read, you can better understand the background. I can even go further into it than that, but I don't bother to because I really haven't gotten many responses in the past, so don't want to waste too much time. Hence, I really appreciate your reply

I can also tell you that we've went to counseling and this has helped us in the communication department, which has helped things to be more tolerable for a bit only to go downhill again more recently. The problem here is I married for the wrong reasons and have come to realize this. However, I realize that some people can get through this regardless and ultimately I'd love to see that happen for us. But unfortunately, unless my feelings develop for my husband the way they should as we continue on our journey, I really can't say that I think fabricating feelings is possible and overall, I am coming to the realization that this is unfair, to both of us, but ultimately him. He's a good man and can probably find happiness with someone who loves him mutually. That's a brief synopsis of the conclusions I've come to. Ultimately, I just want happiness for both of us and am not sure how that can happen considering all things. Thanks again!


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