# Where do I start?



## JoeRockStar (Jun 5, 2012)

Hi guys, posted my original sob story over in Anxiety/Depression, link is here -> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/anxiet.../47962-newbie-wits-end-my-depressed-wife.html

I've just about reached my wit's end with this 19 year relationship and I would like to start taking steps to end it. I'm not in a rush, I don't need to get out of there TODAY, especially since, as mentioned in my original thread, I have a personal responsibility to my 15 yo son who has autism/Asperger's.

My biggest fear is that my wife will turn vindictive and turn what could be a very simple, amicable divorce into a long, drawn out, nasty disaster. I do NOT want that, I just want out.

I have no issue with taking care of my kids, financially or otherwise and will gladly do so for the rest of my life. What I DO have a problem with is being forced to support my wife. She is incredibly lazy and selfish, and I think by coddling her over the years, I have set a legal precedent in which I will end up paying alimony. It's not the end of the world if I have to pay, I just don't think it would be fair given all I have done over the years for her and this relationship. I would literally leave the marriage with only the clothes on my back if I don't have to pay her a single penny ever again. Well, I'd have to take some of my guitars too... 

Can anyone suggest any resources for me? I plan to see an attorney soon just to talk things out and set a game plan.

Thanks in advance!


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Joe,
I hate to tell you this but Florida defaults to permanent spousal support after a marriage as long as yours. Your resource is your attorney which you are going to see. Recommend you discuss with him/her and see if there are any strategies to at least lower the payments or avoid them. Is there a way to pay her off? Can you offer property instead of monthly payments? Unfortunately you will be another victim of feminist inspired wealth transfer BS. Best of luck here.


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## JoeRockStar (Jun 5, 2012)

Married in VA said:


> Joe,
> I hate to tell you this but Florida defaults to permanent spousal support after a marriage as long as yours. Your resource is your attorney which you are going to see. Recommend you discuss with him/her and see if there are any strategies to at least lower the payments or avoid them. Is there a way to pay her off? Can you offer property instead of monthly payments? Unfortunately you will be another victim of feminist inspired wealth transfer BS. Best of luck here.


Thanks for the reply, that's unfortunately what I've heard as well. It's not the end of the world, I just want this phase of my life over and done with. Cutting that check every month is going to make me very bitter and I know it, I'd rather walk away penniless now.

I do have property and/or cash I can exchange, I guess it's going to come down what the lawyer says and how badly she tries to screw me over.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Joe, if I may make a suggestion, amortize it. In other words, what is it worth to you to not have to come home to that disgusting house every day...

(I know, it's lame, but you have to try to find the bright side.)


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## JoeRockStar (Jun 5, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Joe, if I may make a suggestion, amortize it. In other words, what is it worth to you to not have to come home to that disgusting house every day...
> 
> (I know, it's lame, but you have to try to find the bright side.)


 Thanks lamaga, that did make me smile! Jokes aside, the thought of starting a new life and coming home to an EMPTY house makes me absolutely giddy. It's going to be a tough journey though....


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

It will indeed. But we're going to be with you every step of the way.


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