# Thinking divorce



## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

Almost 5 years of marriage and none of them have been great. In the beginning my wife was mentally abusive to my daughter from a previous relationship for three years. Then after counseling and three months of being directedto apologize that seems ok. Now my wife works 6 days a week and constantly on the phone with work, sleeping, or watching TV and reading. There is no sex, conversation, etc. I do all the home items and the only thing she will contribute is maybe an hour to start laundry each week. I am not allowed to touch her as she states she feels like a toy and does not like it. The most contact I get is a peck in the morning which is less than her kissing her adoptive dad on the mouth. She does not share more than 1000 a month three months out of the three years she has been working. She does not consider her money family money where almost all my income goes to the house and bills and her bills. 

What should I do? She will not do counseling stating the counselor would not let her talk from before with me. She has a violent temper and has struck me multiple times sending me to the hospital also before we were married.

Keep in mind she has stated she is recording me on video (know this is like as her references are lies to what she sees). She brings up stuff from before we were married from going through my phone as her reasons.

She also does not have much interest in the kids in the rate instances she is home and will not routinely clean or have them brush their teeth. She leaves her plates and trash everywhere also for me to clean up each day.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

jskingvt said:


> Almost 5 years of marriage and none of them have been great. In the beginning my wife was mentally abusive to my daughter from a previous relationship for three years. Then after counseling and three months of being directedto apologize that seems ok. Now my wife works 6 days a week and constantly on the phone with work, sleeping, or watching TV and reading. There is no sex, conversation, etc. I do all the home items and the only thing she will contribute is maybe an hour to start laundry each week. I am not allowed to touch her as she states she feels like a toy and does not like it. The most contact I get is a peck in the morning which is less than her kissing her adoptive dad on the mouth. She does not share more than 1000 a month three months out of the three years she has been working. She does not consider her money family money where almost all my income goes to the house and bills and her bills.
> 
> What should I do? She will not do counseling stating the counselor would not let her talk from before with me. She has a violent temper and has struck me multiple times sending me to the hospital also before we were married.
> 
> ...


How can you even ask what to do? LEAVE and don't look back!! She sounds horrible. You married her even though she was abusive to you and your daughter...if you had set boundaries and refused to tolerate her bad behavior, you never would have made that enormous mistake to begin with.

Talk to a lawyer TODAY, and get your things and move out as soon as possible. Being alone would be better than living with someone like you described.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

Also after 4 months of counseling she details she has no sexual desire since the kids were born. We have twin 5 year olds I take care of at 75% of the time for past three years and as of Jan it is more like 90% of the time


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> How can you even ask what to do? LEAVE and don't look back!! She sounds horrible. You married her even though she was abusive to you and your daughter...if you had set boundaries and refused to tolerate her bad behavior, you never would have made that enormous mistake to begin with.
> 
> Talk to a lawyer TODAY, and get your things and move out as soon as possible. Being alone would be better than living with someone like you described.


I pay for everything so not moving out. Her parents live next door so I expect she will move there as she can not take care of herself.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

jskingvt said:


> I pay for everything so not moving out. Her parents live next door so I expect she will move there as she can not take care of herself.


Well then, you need to make that happen because there is NO reason to put up with a relationship like you have with her.

Talk to a lawyer immediately and find out what your options are, so you can get free and be happy. GOOD LUCK!!!


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

jskingvt said:


> I pay for everything so not moving out. Her parents live next door so I expect she will move there as she can not take care of herself.


Also, given she is always working and her hours are barely any kids time I am waiting for her time card to show her working all of the time to better foot for custody and who is really taking care of the kids.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

The real questions here are what made you think she would be a good option to marry and plant babies in and why are you still with her now?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Your "wife" is an abuser that doesn't sound invested in the marriage at all. Honestly it was a mistake to marry her. She was physically abusing you prior to marriage. What made you think that would change.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

We were good before the babies were born and shortly after. They were premature so I drove daily to NICU and also took shifts with feeding. I think it went down hill when she started attacking my daughter and more than myself noticed this in her family. She also has MS so if it is bad now, why would I put myself in that situation later if her health degrades is one ofy other questions to myself.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

She was drunk on a rant before. But she is angry so I stopped going out with her completely l. We have only been to a bar 10 times in 5 years also even with her working at one. It is no mental abuse which she says I did in the past by not talking to her and asking her to help with the house. But it is daily now. I mean I am not even allowed to touch her.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

jskingvt said:


> Almost 5 years of marriage and none of them have been great. In the beginning my wife was *mentally abusive to my daughter *from a previous relationship for three years.


This right here is all you need to know divorce is the right option. For the sake of your daughter alone, you need to get rid of your wife.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

jskingvt said:


> She has a violent temper and has struck me multiple times sending me to the hospital also before we were married.


This is NOT good.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

jskingvt said:


> She was drunk on a rant before. But she is angry so I stopped going out with her completely l. We have only been to a bar 10 times in 5 years also even with her working at one. It is no mental abuse which she says I did in the past by not talking to her and asking her to help with the house. But it is daily now. I mean I am not even allowed to touch her.


What you described doesn't sound like a marriage, it sounds like a hostage situation.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

No kidding. I have no time to leave the house and when the counselor stated I should have some free time her responae was, so I can be the maid. She does not even get her own cloths washed and put away. There are 5 baskets of cloths constantly in our room washed two months before. I do my own laundry and my oldest does her. I end up doing this one task as the laundry sits in the master molding if I do not complete it. Also I am not allowed to fold cloths as it is not good enough for her and our kids.

Her dog pisses every night on the floor and she steps over it. Leaves her k cups for me to clean up every morning and her dishes. She also had a overflowing trashcan of tissues I finally cleaned up as there was a whole trash can worth of tissues on the floor around it.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

jskingvt said:


> No kidding. I have no time to leave the house and when the counselor stated I should have some free time her responae was, so I can be the maid. She does not even get her own cloths washed and put away. There are 5 baskets of cloths constantly in our room washed two months before. I do my own laundry and my oldest does her. I end up doing this one task as the laundry sits in the master molding if I do not complete it. Also I am not allowed to fold cloths as it is not good enough for her and our kids.
> 
> Her dog pisses every night on the floor and she steps over it. Leaves her k cups for me to clean up every morning and her dishes. She also had a overflowing trashcan of tissues I finally cleaned up as there was a whole trash can worth of tissues on the floor around it.


Ok so what is your plan and first steps?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

jskingvt said:


> Also after 4 months of counseling she details she has no sexual desire since the kids were born. We have twin 5 year olds I take care of at 75% of the time for past three years and as of Jan it is more like 90% of the time


document your care vs hers -- it may affect child custody for you.
She honestly sounds awful.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

jskingvt said:


> Almost 5 years of marriage and none of them have been great. In the beginning my wife was mentally abusive to my daughter from a previous relationship for three years. Then after counseling and three months of being directedto apologize that seems ok. Now my wife works 6 days a week and constantly on the phone with work, sleeping, or watching TV and reading. There is no sex, conversation, etc. I do all the home items and the only thing she will contribute is maybe an hour to start laundry each week. I am not allowed to touch her as she states she feels like a toy and does not like it. The most contact I get is a peck in the morning which is less than her kissing her adoptive dad on the mouth. She does not share more than 1000 a month three months out of the three years she has been working. She does not consider her money family money where almost all my income goes to the house and bills and her bills.
> 
> What should I do? She will not do counseling stating the counselor would not let her talk from before with me. She has a violent temper and has struck me multiple times sending me to the hospital also before we were married.
> 
> ...


Why in the world haven't you left her already?


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

I am not sure. I am documenting everyday like a journal to keep it fresh. I have done this off and on through the whole marriage. I was going to get her a physchiratis again, but she stated I can not be part of the sessions. So this seems like a excuse.

I hope things will improve but the work she is exhausted after and this is the top thing she cares about. Also she has a torn rotator in her should so that will be the reason no help, sex, etc. For the rest of the summer. Sex hs never exceeded 6 times a years since after the first year of marriage.

I ahevtried to talk to her but she storms off. I am close to another conversation about this no tochibg as this is really the last straw. Nothing's is changing.

I think my assest are pretty protected as I had them before marriage. I one wins financially in divorce which is a little bit of a worry.

Typically I would just wait it out, but I need to pay for my oldest college coming up. I do not want to try to save and lose half of it either.


Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Why in the world haven't you left her already?


Well we were trying counseling most of last year. Some benefits but she said it made the marriage worse as we had to talk. Counselor called her dispicable in one call. She walked out of the sessions multiple times which were virtual. One of the big question is if you are sick all the time why is work not a issue to go to compared to taking care of the house. Still a big issue including twin care.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

jskingvt said:


> We were good before the babies were born and shortly after. They were premature so I drove daily to NICU and also took shifts with feeding. I think it went down hill when she started attacking my daughter and more than myself noticed this in her family. She also has MS so if it is bad now, why would I put myself in that situation later if her health degrades is one ofy other questions to myself.


You need to divorce her and document all of her violent an physical abuses. You need to have custody of all of your children. Get them away from her!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

jskingvt said:


> I am not sure. I am documenting everyday like a journal to keep it fresh. I have done this off and on through the whole marriage. I was going to get her a physchiratis again, but she stated I can not be part of the sessions. So this seems like a excuse.
> 
> I hope things will improve but the work she is exhausted after and this is the top thing she cares about. Also she has a torn rotator in her should so that will be the reason no help, sex, etc. For the rest of the summer. Sex hs never exceeded 6 times a years since after the first year of marriage.
> 
> ...


Why would anything improve? She clearly doesn't care about you at all, what is going to change that? This is who she is, and if you don't leave her, you are showing her that you will continue to tolerate her selfishness and abuse.
The counselor called her despicable?? You are choosing to stay married to a toxic, unloving person.

I hope to read an updated post that you've spoken to a lawyer and are moving forward with divorce. That is your ONLY path to happiness. Unless you are happy with who she has shown you for the past 5 years that she is.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

Well when she said she was recording me I started recording here. We are talking 3 hours non stop of how my oldest is dark souls, *****, etc. In front of witnesses. She also threw my keys from the front of the car into my face that night. I recorded all the counseling also as it was phone based, but is it ever going to make it to court probably not. 

She is not able to take care of the kids though and tried to squeeze me out of the kindergarten repaonaibilities only to miss the deadlines. Stated she worked with them in reading along with herr mother as I worked and they have terrible scores. I will be working with them this summer. I was surprised to see her show up with my friends camping in backyard, but she did not really talk to me and when someone would ask me a question she would answer it. She constantly interrupts which for me I use to do as I would forget if I did not say it, but I stopped doing that. The only conversation we have is about her job and yes, we can not talk about mine. We were in the IT field together when we met, but will not get a comparable job paying the same and prefers this bar of mostly felon workers she is managing now.

I do not see the bar staying open past the cost increases this year. But I think it gives hard evidence that I was abandoned through the hours devoted to that place for two years. She worked every night the year before as the kids were in school, leaving before they got home, and returning when in bed.

She literally will not watch a TV program with me now. If she does she is on her phone, gets mad if I say something about the program, etc. At night I can not watch a program I want to see as it keeps her up so I have been in the basement most nights. 

The only happiness I get is at the end of the day I smoke some of my medical marijuana and watch some TV. Before I got this my back was so bad I was walking with a cane picking up toys every night. 5 impinged vertabret.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> The real questions here are what made you think she would be a good option to marry and plant babies in and why are you still with her now?


Trying to exhaust all avenues of help. I think she has a issue mentally since way before meeting me. Also this is her second marriage and in that one she was gone all the time also.


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## Brothapocalypse (12 mo ago)

jskingvt said:


> Almost 5 years of marriage and none of them have been great. In the beginning my wife was mentally abusive to my daughter from a previous relationship for three years. Then after counseling and three months of being directedto apologize that seems ok. Now my wife works 6 days a week and constantly on the phone with work, sleeping, or watching TV and reading. There is no sex, conversation, etc. I do all the home items and the only thing she will contribute is maybe an hour to start laundry each week. I am not allowed to touch her as she states she feels like a toy and does not like it. The most contact I get is a peck in the morning which is less than her kissing her adoptive dad on the mouth. She does not share more than 1000 a month three months out of the three years she has been working. She does not consider her money family money where almost all my income goes to the house and bills and her bills.
> 
> What should I do? She will not do counseling stating the counselor would not let her talk from before with me. She has a violent temper and has struck me multiple times sending me to the hospital also before we were married.
> 
> ...


Sounds like she is messing around with a co worker or some other dude. If that's the case, not sure why she just wouldn't move out and pursue that. In any case, have you contacted police about her violent behavior? That would help in a divorce so that the judge can order her to move out immediately until the divorce is finalized. I read in your other comments that you are keeping notes in a journal, which is smart.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

jskingvt said:


> Trying to exhaust all avenues of help. I think she has a issue mentally since way before meeting me. Also this is her second marriage and in that one she was gone all the time also.


But do you really want help or do you want people to cheer you on and boo her for being bad? 

Because you really haven't addressed or acknowledged anything that anyone has said here. You just keep going on about the things she is doing. 

There is no "help" here. You cannot transform her into a good faithful, loving, devoted wife and mother. You cannot change or control her, you can only change and control yourself. 

Your options here are suck it up and live with it and adapt to it as best you can - or leave.

There's no pill she can take that will transform her into a good, loving wife and mother, and there is no magic phrase that you can say to her that will make her transform. 

Your only control is in what you can do for yourself.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

Brothapocalypse said:


> Sounds like she is messing around with a co worker or some other dude. If that's the case, not sure why she just wouldn't move out and pursue that. In any case, have you contacted police about her violent behavior? That would help in a divorce so that the judge can order her to move out immediately until the divorce is finalized. I read in your other comments that you are keeping notes in a journal, which is smart.


She went to jail the first time. I did not testify and she got it expunged. This was before marriage. She has not hit me since but gets in my face like she would. Now this onlt happens if we go out drinking together, which last time was like 3 months and and time before that was like 5 months before. I have stopped going out with her and she does not ilwother in theory, but works at a bar 10 to 11 hours a day.

I have the police reports from the first time, but right now it is just mental abuse not even treating me as a friend ans more like a coworker. she would show more respect to a co worker though and I am constantly cleaning up after her and trying to keep our twins from learning these bad habits.

I was thought of a restraining order last year as her comments about my oldest daughter that were heard, the police called me and stated my daughter was suicidal from the comments and someone in Colorado from a chat had reported it. She takes no responsibility for it.

Also my oldest is the highest in her class and may start college a year early. She is not a bad kid, but has PTSD from her real mother. I won full custody of her like 6 years ago.


oldshirt said:


> But do you really want help or do you want people to cheer you on and boo her for being bad?
> 
> Because you really haven't addressed or acknowledged anything that anyone has said here. You just keep going on about the things she is doing.
> 
> ...


I have been thinking the same things as what are being said here. I am just gathering confirmation of what I am feeling and what I think I need to do which is being validated here.

The next steps are complicated and will take planning. No divorce unless there is no money is easy when the wife states she wants half of everything which she does not understand half of everything since marriage. Yes, she is literally saying this and saying I will pay for a nanny for her.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

jskingvt said:


> The next steps are complicated and will take planning. No divorce unless there is no money is easy when the wife states she wants half of everything which she does not understand half of everything since marriage. Yes, she is literally saying this and saying I will pay for a nanny for her.


It doesn't matter what she says. It won't even matter what her lawyer says. 

What matters is what the divorce laws in your jurisdiction say and what the judge says based on the case you present.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

jskingvt said:


> She is not a bad kid, but has PTSD from her real mother



I wasn't sure, but until your last post I fully understood that you were a man and not a woman in a same sex marriage. To me that says a lot. You are a weak man that has basically been behaving in a cowardly way, and with self respect and dignity issues. It took the police for you to do something that you should have had taken care of on your own with respect to your daughter's safety from the woman you married. That's pathetic dude, pathetic. Still you're prioritizing material things and money (whether you have it or not) instead of actually getting advice by a family law lawyer as to where you stand in a divorce. You seem to lack the balls to do anything, unless you are forced by other's actions where you just can't avoid it.

You complain and talk about how you can't take it anymore with this woman and yet, you're still contemplating leaving her. I mean what the **** is there to contemplate? You should already have divorced her. You're nothing but, her "little maid" and bank account. Just the fact that no sex in the marriage, and you just lamenting about it tells it all. The word for you is BETA. that's how she sees you. Do you know why? I tell you, because from everything you said so far that's what comes across, a beta man that have very little self respect. Dude time to find your balls from wherever it is that you lost them and get rid of that sack of crap that you have been carrying around under the name of "marriage".


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> It doesn't matter what she says. It won't even matter what her lawyer says.
> 
> What matters is what the divorce laws in your jurisdiction say and what the judge says based on the case you present.


Right, that's why I am being careful based on her attitude she can take everything. I want good evidence that irrefutable as court is unpredictable.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

jskingvt said:


> Right, that's why I am being careful based on her attitude she can take everything. I want good evidence that irrefutable as court is unpredictable.


This is what we have lawyers and courts and judges for.

I’m assuming you are not a divorce lawyer in your jurisdiction so you would be wise to retain an actual one and do what he/she says. 

We are not divorce lawyers here so we are also not able to advise you on what legal steps and what paperwork you should take. 

You don’t treat cancer with folk remedies or your Aunt Bernadine’s poultice,, So too you do not want to go into a potentially high conflict divorce based on rumor, innuendo or your buddy Ron’s pointers from his divorce and you especially do not want to base your case on what a bunch of random internet strangers say on a marriage forum. 

If you are contemplating a divorce, consult an actual divorce attorney that practices divorce law in your specific jurisdiction and heed their advice and recommendations.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

jskingvt said:


> Right, that's why I am being careful based on her attitude she can take everything. I want good evidence that irrefutable as court is unpredictable.


I am getting opinions here as I am not allo


oldshirt said:


> This is what we have lawyers and courts and judges for.
> 
> I’m assuming you are not a divorce lawyer in your jurisdiction so you would be wise to retain an actual one and do what he/she says.
> 
> ...


Yes, but I have read the law statutes and the Ohio law. I also had to research her claims of recording the house without permission which is not allowed. All fuel to stop her rants and to ensure I know what might happen. The more you do as up front work the less it might costs in any law case. I am also no simpleton so this has all be concurrent to trying to working things out. I have sunk every dime into the home and expenses so have to be careful about when to bring a law firm in place. 

The main goal of this post is user opinion and for me to decide if I should just do it now. Only recently did I realize this is the whole marriage and not the past two years that she is never here, so thinking about it more.


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

jskingvt said:


> We have twin 5 year olds I take care of at 75% of the time for past three years and as of Jan it is more like 90% of the time


You need to document everything to do with the kids cos you need to get full custody. Write everything down, what time she comes home etc with proof if you can eg if she sends you a texts about the time she'll get home etc. 
But send it to yourself by email daily so it's date-stamped. You have to be armed with proof. Courts are very sympathetic & concerned when it comes to the kids. 

Continue to gather evidence on other issues—whatever is needed in your state.

I'd have seen a lawyer already, probably a few for different opinions, usually the first appointment is free.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

I am hoping I can get the time card info from the company under supena. I also have the phone records where she is on the phone with them 900 minutes a month of which 200 was outside of work hours.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

jskingvt said:


> I am hoping I can get the time card info from the company under supena. I also have the phone records where she is on the phone with them 900 minutes a month of which 200 was outside of work hours.


Also I use SharePoint that keeps track of all of that.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Your wife has a big mouth. And she's shooting it off. Let her. She's not an attorney, so she's just making lots of noise. You've only been married 5 years. NOT considered a marriage of longevity by the court system. The longer you drag your feet, the more it will cost you. No matter how much you research the laws in your state, it won't help that much unless you get a good attorney. Yes, they are expensive. But you pay an attorney to protect YOUR interests. 

You've done your due diligence in keeping records of what's going on. Now take all that data to an attorney. The best thing you can do is get this toxic woman out of your life. When that is accomplished, only discuss with her matters pertaining to the children.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

jskingvt said:


> She constantly interrupts which for me I use to do as I would forget if I did not say it, but I stopped doing that.


Did you ever just yell out "SHUT THE F*CK UP -- I can answer my own questions". Why do you let her get away with it. The first couple of times maybe, but after that, no way.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

jskingvt said:


> Almost 5 years of marriage and none of them have been great. In the beginning my wife was mentally abusive to my daughter from a previous relationship for three years. Then after counseling and three months of being directedto apologize that seems ok. Now my wife works 6 days a week and constantly on the phone with work, sleeping, or watching TV and reading. There is no sex, conversation, etc. I do all the home items and the only thing she will contribute is maybe an hour to start laundry each week. I am not allowed to touch her as she states she feels like a toy and does not like it. The most contact I get is a peck in the morning which is less than her kissing her adoptive dad on the mouth. She does not share more than 1000 a month three months out of the three years she has been working. She does not consider her money family money where almost all my income goes to the house and bills and her bills.
> 
> What should I do? She will not do counseling stating the counselor would not let her talk from before with me. She has a violent temper and has struck me multiple times sending me to the hospital also before we were married.
> 
> ...


What exactly are you saving? Your poor daughter.


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## jskingvt (7 mo ago)

That happened after the twins were born about a year into the marriage. Did not know it would as I did not have custody then.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

jskingvt said:


> Also after 4 months of counseling she details she has no sexual desire since the kids were born. We have twin 5 year olds I take care of at 75% of the time for past three years and as of Jan it is more like 90% of the time


Keep record as the primary caretaker and divorce her abusive ass.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

jskingvt said:


> I am not sure. I am documenting everyday like a journal to keep it fresh. I have done this off and on through the whole marriage. I was going to get her a physchiratis again, but she stated I can not be part of the sessions. So this seems like a excuse.
> 
> I hope things will improve but the work she is exhausted after and this is the top thing she cares about. Also she has a torn rotator in her should so that will be the reason no help, sex, etc. For the rest of the summer. Sex hs never exceeded 6 times a years since after the first year of marriage.
> 
> ...


She probably has a boyfriend at work. I bet if you got a look at the check stubs, I wonder if the hours worked line up with the hours she says she is at work. Either way I would divorce and go for primary custody.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Rob_1 said:


> I wasn't sure, but until your last post I fully understood that you were a man and not a woman in a same sex marriage. To me that says a lot. You are a weak man that has basically been behaving in a cowardly way, and with self respect and dignity issues. It took the police for you to do something that you should have had taken care of on your own with respect to your daughter's safety from the woman you married. That's pathetic dude, pathetic. Still you're prioritizing material things and money (whether you have it or not) instead of actually getting advice by a family law lawyer as to where you stand in a divorce. You seem to lack the balls to do anything, unless you are forced by other's actions where you just can't avoid it.
> 
> You complain and talk about how you can't take it anymore with this woman and yet, you're still contemplating leaving her. I mean what the **** is there to contemplate? You should already have divorced her. You're nothing but, her "little maid" and bank account. Just the fact that no sex in the marriage, and you just lamenting about it tells it all. The word for you is BETA. that's how she sees you. Do you know why? I tell you, because from everything you said so far that's what comes across, a beta man that have very little self respect. Dude time to find your balls from wherever it is that you lost them and get rid of that sack of crap that you have been carrying around under the name of "marriage".


His behavior is why the felons at the bar are so sexy to her, they go after what they want and take it. I have seen it all to offer. I retired from Criminal Justice after almost 24 years. Same reason you have these female corrections officers hooking up with inmates.


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