# I feel trapped



## kate542 (Jul 25, 2012)

I feel trapped
42 years of marriage and I feel trapped.
The first I would say 20 yrs we were alright just the usual marriage arguments, then he seemed to change.
To most people he is an easy going likeable man and is liked but at home he as become on occasions this very nasty individual.
I am a strong minded person and don't put up with his behavior so this makes things worse. He is very selfish, I have Christmas & birthdays without even a card, because he's not bothered he doesn't see why I should be. He know this upsets me but doesn't care.
He calls me nasty ***** because I stand up for myself and says everyone hates me which is so untrue as I have good friends. I don't feel I can talk to them as they have health problems.
He's controlling and if I need to make a large purchase there is generally a row. It's not that we don't have the money which I could understand. For instance our settees are over 30 years old and need replacing but he won't discuss the need to do this. I've said I'll make the purchase out of my saving but he went into a tantrum about using my own money.
When we have had a row he gets up the next day as if nothing as happened everything washes over him and if I try and talk about the problems he says I'm trying for another argument.
We are in our late 60s both have our own interests don't do anything together other than holidays. We basically house share have our own bedrooms, he doesn't care or support me in anything, never thanks or appreciates anything I do and there is never a kind word.
If I left I would be putting myself financially in a bad situation.
I am never happy and feel depressed and stressed most of the time. I just want to manage my situation because when I get depressed I just stay home and don't do anything, he says I'm wallowing in self pity.


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## Shocker (Jul 26, 2012)

kate542 said:


> I feel trapped
> 42 years of marriage and I feel trapped.
> The first I would say 20 yrs we were alright just the usual marriage arguments, then he seemed to change.
> To most people he is an easy going likeable man and is liked but at home he as become on occasions this very nasty individual.
> ...


Sounds like you are roommates. You should demand more - I wish my wife would have done that long ago. Bad things come from waiting for someone to change. You have to demand change or get another roommate if they won't comply. Life is too short.


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