# Lost my MoJo :(



## Oldmatelot (Mar 28, 2011)

Well it's been a weird few weeks.
A month back I was admitted to the ER with 'urine retention' (Could not pee..) 
Only 49, happily married, maybe having sex once or twice a week. 
Some times 'lube job' sometimes 'way out there' 
So pretty varied, I have a much higher sex drive than my DW.

Anyways, I left the ER with some auxilliary plumbing to drain my bladder. Last week I saw a Urologist who diagnosed enlarged prostate. But, looking further up into my bladder he discovered 2 tumours. 
They are early stages and hopes to remove them next week during a prostate resection..
Here's the issue. I have turned my wife down twice in the past week. Maybe once during the past 20 years.
So not a normal occurance.
I'm somewhat worried, I just don't feel it. It's like I have lost my sex drive. I can only describe it as feeling numb.

Anyone else been through this before? Could it be the psycological result of the cancer diagnosis? 
Will it change after surgery? 
TIA for any advice.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I was diagnosed with bladder cancer at nineteen. It really shook my world. I was in a relationship at the time with my first wife. Yes, even at nineteen with all the hormones, it affected me somewhat. I turned out okay. 

I just kept going as best I could. Cystoscopies for a while afterward, about ten years in total. It is something that happens, sometimes. It's definitely an eye opener into life. Best wishes to you. You are in my thoughts.


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## Pravius (Dec 12, 2012)

You are going to have to go slow. Your mind effects more than you know in regard to sex. I do not think there is anything wrong with you to be honest. You just learned that you have tumors, and it could be cancer, the very very last thing on my mind is sex. 

I am sure if you explain to your wife, you are just thinking about things and the best thing she could do is just stick with you give you the support you need. 

Once your mind and body align again after this has been taken care of I think things will get better.


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