# Started running around. Complicates things.



## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

Hello all,

I have been married for almost 3 years. I have wanted out for almost 2 of those three. My wife is a very bitter, controlling, angry, and downright disrespectful person to me. We've tried marriage counseling, but she refuses to go back. In fact, I want out so bad now, that the thought really makes me happy. What doesn't make me happy is that I have to separate from my daughter (2-years old) and my stepdaughter (5 1/2 years old). I live in a state where it is very hard for a man to get main custody of a child, regardless of how unfit a woman is. Not that my wife is unfit as a mother. She is very good, but just not a good wife, at least for me. So, after my stepdaughter starts school, I plan to have a talk with her and I will move out.

The second part of this, is that I've been having an affair with (get this) the 18 year old granddaughter of my boss, unbeknown to him of course. I am 37. I don't want judgmental comments on this, but regardless of our age difference I have really fallen for her. She is the most sweet and tender girl I've know in forever. As far as it making things difficult on my marriage break up, at this point I am not caring. I want to be with this young lady. She makes me feel wonderful. I'm not really that worried about my wife finding out. I would rather her not, but if she did, I would pay whatever consequences to still be with this lady. I'm not proud of running around, but I was seeking a happier companionship. I have gotten tired of being emotionally beat down for my wife's own unhappiness. I wasn't seeking a person to run around with. This thing just sort of happened. I know what kinds of thoughts I'm going to get on this, but I just felt like writing this out. I feel fantastic when I think about her. And feel like crap basically when I think about being with my wife. Thoughts on this are appreciated and I certainly will take them into consideration. Thank you.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Your post could have been written by my husband. I see many similarities. With that being said, I'll answer your post from another angle.

First, you really need to get rid of the girlfriend or get a divorce. This situation isn't fair to three people--you, your wife, or your mistress. Of course, the girlfriend makes you feel great. The relationship with her is still in the "in love" stage. You only see how perfect each other are at this point. She probably makes you feel 10 years younger too. How long have you been seeing her? From the way you are describing the relationship, I'd say this relationship can't be over one year. It's probably not going to feel this way in 18 months.

You wife hasn't been getting any attention because you've been busy with this other lady. She probably suspects you're cheating. You have no time for your family and you are letting things slide. With my husband, he had no time for our family, didn't care about our bussiness and spent piles of money (which he couldn't account for). You better believe I became one angry person. Could this be what's going on with your wife?

Although your wife won't go to counseling, you can go alone. I'm sure you'll benefit from it. My husband and I tried couple's counseling and just didn't accomplish anything. He continued going to that counselor and I found myself another counselor. That has actually made a lot more progress. We now know he's got issues which he's working on. Before counseling, he said he had no issues and everything was my fault. I'm also working on my anger. Although we are still separated, we are becoming happier people.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

827Aug said:


> Your post could have been written by my husband. I see many similarities. With that being said, I'll answer your post from another angle.
> 
> First, you really need to get rid of the girlfriend or get a divorce. This situation isn't fair to three people--you, your wife, or your mistress. Of course, the girlfriend makes you feel great. The relationship with her is still in the "in love" stage. You only see how perfect each other are at this point. She probably makes you feel 10 years younger too. How long have you been seeing her? From the way you are describing the relationship, I'd say this relationship can't be over one year. It's probably not going to feel this way in 18 months.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

She said it nicer then I could have.

draconis


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

A girl who is 18 that is sleeping with a married man that is 37, and has very little life experience sounds off all kinds of twisted issues...have fun with that one :smthumbup:


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

827Aug said:


> Your post could have been written by my husband. I see many similarities. With that being said, I'll answer your post from another angle.
> 
> First, you really need to get rid of the girlfriend or get a divorce. This situation isn't fair to three people--you, your wife, or your mistress. Of course, the girlfriend makes you feel great. The relationship with her is still in the "in love" stage. You only see how perfect each other are at this point. She probably makes you feel 10 years younger too. How long have you been seeing her? From the way you are describing the relationship, I'd say this relationship can't be over one year. It's probably not going to feel this way in 18 months.
> 
> ...


I haven't let it affect my family time or responsabilities any more than my working 6 days a week and driving 180 miles a day two and from work. We see each other a few hours a week. I still do and love to spend time with my kids. They are the reason I have hung in thus far. I haven't been seeing her a long time. Less than two months. I'm glad that you have delt with your issues the way that you have. I don't think that my wife will ever deal with hers. I am working my tail off trying tomake sure that my family is provided for. I have been there 100% emotionally for them. I have been there emotionally for her. All I ask for is the same in return. My wife seems to pride herself on being a "b***h". I think that she thinks if she is like that then no one will hurt her. It seems no matter what I do or how I try to be with her it is met with hostility and anger. She will tell me things like "I don't care" or "I don't want to here it" when I just try to make simple conversation about how my day went or a conversation that I heard. I try to be affectionate, or understanding, which both of those I am. It's not like I am acting or just doing it because I think that's what she wants. If I am in a good mood, sometimes I will sing or goof around. She tells me to stop singing or stop being nice or stop goofing around. I'm tired of anger being the onlyemotion that she shows me. I'm tired of her pointing out every flaw that I have and making it out like I'm completely incompitent. I'm tired of her talking down to me like I am not a person. I'm just plain tired.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

827Aug said:


> Your post could have been written by my husband. I see many similarities. With that being said, I'll answer your post from another angle.
> 
> First, you really need to get rid of the girlfriend or get a divorce. This situation isn't fair to three people--you, your wife, or your mistress. Of course, the girlfriend makes you feel great. The relationship with her is still in the "in love" stage. You only see how perfect each other are at this point. She probably makes you feel 10 years younger too. How long have you been seeing her? From the way you are describing the relationship, I'd say this relationship can't be over one year. It's probably not going to feel this way in 18 months.
> 
> ...


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

I am leaving weather or not I am running around on her. I'm actually doing it after my stepdaughter starts school. I can't deal with her anymore.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

My personal opinion is that people should end one relationship before they start another. The affair with the young lady has probably served to pull you further from your wife. Based on your description of your wife I would agree it is not a happy marriage and if she refuses counsel you should move on. The fact that you are a married man carrying on with your boss's 18 year old grand daughter would indicate to me that you’ll be seeking a new career in the near future also.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Amplexor said:


> My personal opinion is that people should end one relationship before they start another. The affair with the young lady has probably served to pull you further from your wife. Based on your description of your wife I would agree it is not a happy marriage and if she refuses counsel you should move on. The fact that you are a married man carrying on with your boss's 18 year old grand daughter would indicate to me that you’ll be seeking a new career in the near future also.


:iagree:

draconis


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

Well, I'm moving out the end of September. It's over. I'm sure I have a long hard road, that I'm sure she will make as difficult as possible to travel. But, I already feel better, but kind of sad at the same time that things didn't work out.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Did you give her an ultimatum, or are you just walking out the door without an explanation? does she know your intentions?


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

MarkTwain said:


> Did you give her an ultimatum, or are you just walking out the door without an explanation? does she know your intentions?


I'm beyond that point and I've tried that. It seems to majke it worse like she's sayin, "Now I'm really going to be a b***h!!!" I'm actually leaving next month, because I need to get money squred away, but I'm done.

But the bad part is this. I feel like crap right now. Really like crap. Yesterday I had sex with my wife, like right after having sex with the girl I'm seeing. I didn't want to. I should have said I was just tired. Why did I do that? I really feel like a sleazy *******. I mean. I thought if I did say no, that she would wonder what's going on. She was already suspicious earlier, because I came home late. And then she was nice and I was nice and then it was like she was hugging and kissing me. I really feel like a low life right now. I mean. There are guys that do this and don't have remorse, but I do. Even though I have fallen out of love with my wife, I still don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt anybody. I wish I were dead right now.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

It sounds like your wife senses something and is trying to win you back, to no avail.

draconis


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

draconis said:


> It sounds like your wife senses something and is trying to win you back, to no avail.
> 
> draconis


I don't know. Maybe. All I know is that I'm out.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

So, does she know your are leaving in a few days?


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

jmule said:


> My wife seems to pride herself on being a "b***h". I think that she thinks if she is like that then no one will hurt her.


So, do you really believe she has put up this barrier to protect herself? Deep down, do you think she is insecure and so uncomfortable in her own skin that she puts on this strong front? You are assuming she will put the b*&^% into high gear once you tell her you are leaving her, but have you wondered if this is what will get her to break down? What would be your plan then?


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

swedish said:


> So, do you really believe she has put up this barrier to protect herself? Deep down, do you think she is insecure and so uncomfortable in her own skin that she puts on this strong front? You are assuming she will put the b*&^% into high gear once you tell her you are leaving her, but have you wondered if this is what will get her to break down? What would be your plan then?


Well now it's done. We had a fight on Thursday night and she threw me out. I'm living in my car now, because I can't sfford two rents just at the moment. I'll be doing so for at least a month. It was over the way that I acted, because I got pulled over, coming into town. Granted, My stress level was at a wit's end at that point, because I'm about to lose my driver's license over not paying a fine, getting pulled over and caught driving on a supended license. At any rate. Any time I'm like that, she seems to want to make matters worse by making me feel like even more of a major loser. I ended up screeming at her and breaking the remote for the TV. So she kicked me out. As far as this situatioin breaking her down. Even if that happens, I'm not going back except to see the kids on Saturdays. Yes she is very unhappy with herself and she wants to bring everybody down a=instead of trying to pick herself up.


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

So, she's in panic mode right now, because she thinks I'm going to cut her off. Probably her mother told her that that's what I'd do. So she's going to lie her butt off to get assistance. This is the woman I married. She'll get us both into trouble. I'm the one that's living in my car. I'm not going to cut her off, cause that would be cutting the kids off. GEEEZ WHat the hell kind of person does she think I am?


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## brad (Jul 31, 2008)

I always wonder if a guy is getting laid by an 18 year old if he is making some exaggerations about his "terrible" wife to justify what he is doing. Not saying that is happening here but I would love to here what the wife has to say about the marriage.

18 year old female, 37 year old guy. An affair. A toxic mix. I really doubt the brain of a guy is working that well when he describes an 18 year old as "sweet and tender" and someone who makes him happy. There is not a man on earth that would not find an 18 year old sweet and tender and HOT in bed. I think you will get a cold reality check very soon.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

brad said:


> I always wonder if a guy is getting laid by an 18 year old if he is making some exaggerations about his "terrible" wife to justify what he is doing. Not saying that is happening here but I would love to here what the wife has to say about the marriage.
> 
> 18 year old female, 37 year old guy. An affair. A toxic mix. I really doubt the brain of a guy is working that well when he describes an 18 year old as "sweet and tender" and someone who makes him happy. There is not a man on earth that would not find an 18 year old sweet and tender and HOT in bed. I think you will get a cold reality check very soon.





Well said Brad! I'm afraid the "new" is going to wear off this relationship. Like I said before, I think things would have been better at home, if the time had been spent "courting" the wife. I understand where the wife is coming from too.


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

Believe me I do understand how it looks to both of you. But, if you knew my wife, you would see that I'm not exaturating. This is a woman that told me a few months after we were married, that SHE could not guarantee that she would not run around on me. This is the woman that has made big scenes in Wal-Mart yelling at me like a kid. A few times people actually walked up to me and said, "what's wrong with her?" or "How can you let her talk to you like that?" or "Just ingnore her." And most of the time, it's due to something stupid like I wanted to stop and look at something. This is also the woman that, if I'm sitting watching something on the TV came in the room and swtched the channel without asking, "Can we watch something else?" Just switched the channel. This is also the woman who treated my mother like crap when she came to visit and then expected my mother not to blow up at, when she did. This is also the woman who in three years of marriage went to one familly function for Christmas, said hello to two people and on the way home complained about how "weird" my family was and refered to them as "those people" and complained about where we met them. This is also a woman that rolls her eyes when my mother calls and complains about her, even though she never even tried to get to know her, but constantly casts judgment on her and says that I defend my mother too much. Yet, her back stabbing, dysfuctional family is just fine and I go to all of their family functions and don't complain. This is a woman that no matter what I've tried to do, be it failure or success, has tried to tear me down and make me feel inferior and that me or my family don't matter to her at all. Am I exaturating? If you met her, got to know her, you would say, "How on earth did you even spend three years with her." She has no concept of reason, no accountabillity for anything bad that happens to her. She will always be the victim. I tried to be a companion to her. I wanted to be there for her emotionally. Everytime I tried, I got hostility and she would push me a way. I want to feel emotionally connected to someone. Emotionally all that she showed me was anger, jealousy, vintictivness, and bitterness. I gave up. I started looking for a way out. I'm sorry this was lengthy, but all that stuff just started pouring out of me.


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## lonelywife2 (Sep 23, 2008)

After reading all your posts, it sounds like you and your wife have a valid reason to separate because obviously there are some major problems in the relationship. However, your relationship with this 18 year old will never work. An 18 year old does not have the maturity, nor the life experiences to know how to deal with this type of a complex situation. It will most definitely end very badly. I would bet the farm on that one (if I had a farm that is, lol). 

I would immediately end things with the 18 year old, and work on yourself. Focus on trying to find a place to live, and getting your life back on track. Go to counseling with your wife, or file for divorce. 

Once you get to a stable place in your life, then worry about finding a new relationship (with someone other than an 18 year old).


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

jmule said:


> So, she's in panic mode right now, because she thinks I'm going to cut her off. Probably her mother told her that that's what I'd do. So she's going to lie her butt off to get assistance. This is the woman I married. She'll get us both into trouble. I'm the one that's living in my car. I'm not going to cut her off, cause that would be cutting the kids off. GEEEZ WHat the hell kind of person does she think I am?


Excuse me, but you made it with an 18 year old girl. Is this the man she thought she married? You cheated on her, dude. I think that would make anyone a little b*****. What kind of man does she think you are..she thought she knew, and now she is looking out for herself, which anyone will do in this case. If you don't like sleeping in your car, get a room somewhere. Well, unless all your money is going to your mistress now. Hell, move in with the little girl's parents..I think they will just love that. :rofl:..because you play..you pay. Now you will not only try to keep your mistress happy, and try to do things with her (money wase), you will have to pay your wife too.


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

Honey said:


> Excuse me, but you made it with an 18 year old girl. Is this the man she thought she married? You cheated on her, dude. I think that would make anyone a little b*****. What kind of man does she think you are..she thought she knew, and now she is looking out for herself, which anyone will do in this case. If you don't like sleeping in your car, get a room somewhere. Well, unless all your money is going to your mistress now. Hell, move in with the little girl's parents..I think they will just love that. :rofl:..because you play..you pay. Now you will not only try to keep your mistress happy, and try to do things with her (money wase), you will have to pay your wife too.


My wife still doesn't know about her. Yes I could understand if she did. I started this relationship, when i felt like my marriage was hopeless. If you read some of the posts, what I was trying to say, was that I have been honest with her, all so I tried to give her the love and support of any good husband. She pushed me away and treated me basically like dirt. She made me feel that I didn't matter to her. I honestly think also that this is a woman incapable of rational though. As for money, I haven't spent a dime on the lady I'm seeing. Not one. In fact she loaned me $20, which I still owe her. We meet, talk, and other things. She is 18, but has more rational and compasionate thoughts than my wife has. I know that this could end badly. I was just tired of feeling like everything I do get's a slap in the face. And believe me as far as my wife and I's relatioship. I did everything. I wanted to be there for her emotionally. The only thing she showed me was hate, anger and resentfulness, since we got married.


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## Sweet love (Sep 10, 2008)

I am just wondering, why did you married her??

and why didnt you divorce her befroe?

and what are oyu waiting to file for divorce?

she is crazy completely crazy and sick and need therapy.

she is totaly unsupportaqble and you were very wrong during all those years to accept all her crap and to dont put her doqwn and refuse to see her family and to elt her pass everything.
You hsould have react sooner and its still not too late.

For instance she throw you out oyur own home cause you.. broke a remote control?? what?!
think about it dude, it symbolise power she dont chage the chanel without asking cause she is unaware of it but to annoy you on purpose and show oyu she is in power. Next time laugh at her completely and talk down to ehr and say to her she got no manner and should ask and to go to her bedroom that hs eis grounded.
treat her like a child and show her osme limits!
you do not shownher your limits! oyu elt her do what she want to.
when she tol oyu to go out, you hsould have throw her out the house
so i suggest you to do htat exactly¨
go back home and throw her out and refuse to open the door.
she is a total arse and dont deserve your respect nor care.
she got a problem she can resolve it on her own wihtout having oyu as a pinch ball machine to hit on and give th eblame on.
Drop her.
I dont get why you had children together when as oyu describe she si totaly irresponsible.
And what the other user here otld you was to threaten her to leave and to leave her.. not to be throw away.. it isnt the same its.. the opposite you see..
Here, as always, its still her who got the power and th ebalance of power is still totaly unequal.
Force her into counseling or file for divorce.
If i was making the law, i will put people like your wife in jail for some months cause what she do to you is a crime.

And you, in ther mean time, stop likign to be abused or saying you dont like it but doing nothing to change it.
React! TAKE THE POWER! dont wait for her to give it to you.
When she change of channel grab the remote control, and switch it back and yel at her and throw her out the room,.
She is such a control frak that she think htat by controlling you she got control over her own life!
Thats a classic in psychology.
But the truth is that she dont have a sh-it control about herself and her life.
she is out in the chaos about it.and it scare her and frustrate her but that doesnt give her the right to manipulate oyu and abuse of you nor give you the rigth to let her manipulate you and let yourself beign abused!
Come back home, grab her by the arm, and throw her out the house.
show her who got the power now, in no miistakable way. When the message got through you can go to phase two, the balance of power and come, harmonious logical dialog.
But before oyu can reach a dialog she got to stop circling around hte same ego trip and to stop put herself center stage and put on you what she is doing TO you!
Show her what i just wrote i am sure she will like it.

If she dont go along to couseling and therapy and to change her attitude and way to relate to you 180 degree, she has 2 choices: or end up in the trash, or end up at the cookos nest.
And i mean it.


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

WOW!! You are passonate. Thank you. I have tried those things that you've said. Really, all they do in this case is make her angrier and me just plain foul mouthed and angy myself. I just haven't been sitting their and taking it, athough sometimes I wish I would just sit their and take it. Usually I just go off on her and start cursing and swearing at her, calling her names. That is something that I have been trying to work on in my life, is NOT to get like that. I don't hit or become abusive to her, but I do yell alot and might break something. I know that it is wrong to do those things too, but when someone has blatent disrespect for me, that's when I get like that. Everything else really does tend to roll off of me nicely. But it's got to the point where I don't want to be around her anymore. In my state you have to be separated a year, with separate residences in order to petition for divorce. 

As for why we got married? Well I loved her and I thought she loved me. She was a different person. She changed when we got married. Became more and more bitter and hostel. And the more I would tell her about it, the worse it got. That leaves us where we are right now.


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

jmule said:


> My wife still doesn't know about her. Yes I could understand if she did. I started this relationship, when i felt like my marriage was hopeless. If you read some of the posts, what I was trying to say, was that I have been honest with her, all so I tried to give her the love and support of any good husband. She pushed me away and treated me basically like dirt. She made me feel that I didn't matter to her. I honestly think also that this is a woman incapable of rational though. As for money, I haven't spent a dime on the lady I'm seeing. Not one. In fact she loaned me $20, which I still owe her. We meet, talk, and other things. She is 18, but has more rational and compasionate thoughts than my wife has. I know that this could end badly. I was just tired of feeling like everything I do get's a slap in the face. And believe me as far as my wife and I's relatioship. I did everything. I wanted to be there for her emotionally. The only thing she showed me was hate, anger and resentfulness, since we got married.


Did you see the same things in your wife as you do this 18 year old when you married her? What does this 18 year old have that your wife don't have? What? A younger bod, bigger boobs.. so what.  You don't have the same body now that you did when you were 18. Face it, she will not stay the way she looks either, and you are not getting any younger, but if you still want to play as if you are a young stud teen yourself, this is your buz. You already have to take money off of your young babe. You already have to sleep in your car and bum money of a young chick.. and you are ok living like this? You don't go playing around if your marriage isn't working. You try to save your marriage, and if not, then both of you split, but just go out and bag a babe, this isn't the right way to handle things, dude. 
Next she'll tell ya she is going to have your child. You complain that you are sleeping in your car, just think, if you have to shell out for two familes, you will find yourself sleeping on a bench somewhere. No, really, why dig the hole any more deeper for yourself, than it already is.

YouTube - Clay Walker - Then What? (Video)


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

Honey said:


> Did you see the same things in your wife as you do this 18 year old when you married her? What does this 18 year old have that your wife don't have? What? A younger bod, bigger boobs.. so what.  You don't have the same body now that you did when you were 18. Face it, she will not stay the way she looks either, and you are not getting any younger, but if you still want to play as if you are a young stud teen yourself, this is your buz. You already have to take money off of your young babe. You already have to sleep in your car and bum money of a young chick.. and you are ok living like this? You don't go playing around if your marriage isn't working. You try to save your marriage, and if not, then both of you split, but just go out and bag a babe, this isn't the right way to handle things, dude.
> Next she'll tell ya she is going to have your child. You complain that you are sleeping in your car, just think, if you have to shell out for two familes, you will find yourself sleeping on a bench somewhere. No, really, why dig the hole any more deeper for yourself, than it already is.
> 
> YouTube - Clay Walker - Then What? (Video)


Respectfully, I did not looking to "bag" a young girl. I did not go looking for sex. I was tired of coming home and getting an emotional beat down all of the time. And tired of feeling like no matter what I did to try to do more, it never gets noticed. And having all of my flaws pointed out to a point where I was made to feel inferior about them. No body wants that. So, I mean theirs this girl and she is very nice and sweet. I started talking to her and getting to know her. She wasn't at all like my wife, she was different. Very shy, but she started to open up to me. I didn't at first know who she was or how old she was. But we really really started to like each other. We are careful when it comes to sex. But, it's true that the circumstances are pretty bad now. No, I do not like living in my car, but to try to go home means that I have to face someone who is insensitive, manipulating, irrational, and just plain rotten. Considering her upbringing, it's not surprising. I've tried to discuss those issues with her. I told her that she should get help for them. She doesn't want to and she's not acknowledging that she has a problem. I' am not some guy who just went out seeking excitement or a lay. I wanted companionship. I know a lot of times we see situations like this and we think of how rotten it is to have an affair, but you have to also think of how rotten it was to get to that point.


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

All I am sayng is, if your wife makes you this unhappy than divorce her, but I couldn't live my life this way, and have to sleep in my car.
Do you want a divorce, or do you like having someone clean your clothes, while you have your cake and eat it too? Oh, come on, guy.
You mean to tell me you never did anything in your marriage that made your wife act and feel the way she does towards you. You leave all the blame on her. Most guys that cheat fine everthing wrong to say about their wife, it makes them feel justified in what they do. If you truly had no play in how bad your wife is acting towards you, than go get out of your marriage, but if you are trying to make yourself look good, and you're wife look like the bad guy.. SHAME ON YOU !


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## jmule (Jun 26, 2007)

Honey said:


> All I am sayng is, if your wife makes you this unhappy than divorce her, but I couldn't live my life this way, and have to sleep in my car.
> Do you want a divorce, or do you like having someone clean your clothes, while you have your cake and eat it too? Oh, come on, guy.
> You mean to tell me you never did anything in your marriage that made your wife act and feel the way she does towards you. You leave all the blame on her. Most guys that cheat fine everthing wrong to say about their wife, it makes them feel justified in what they do. If you truly had no play in how bad your wife is acting towards you, than go get out of your marriage, but if you are trying to make yourself look good, and you're wife look like the bad guy.. SHAME ON YOU !


I'm not saying I was perfect in this marriage. I just can't stand having nothing but negative spouted at me all the time. Yes. I am getting a divorce. That is the plan. Did I deserve being talked down to all of the time? No I did not. Trust me. If you knew her for any length of time, she would have something bad to say about you too. She does everyone. When she makes friends, well at least aquantnces, it doesn't take long before she starts casting judgement on them. Complaining about them and it's done in a way that makes you feel like she thinks she's better than everyone.


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## Sweet love (Sep 10, 2008)

jmule said:


> WOW!! You are passonate. Thank you. I have tried those things that you've said. Really, all they do in this case is make her angrier and me just plain foul mouthed and angy myself. I just haven't been sitting their and taking it, athough sometimes I wish I would just sit their and take it. Usually I just go off on her and start cursing and swearing at her, calling her names. That is something that I have been trying to work on in my life, is NOT to get like that. I don't hit or become abusive to her, but I do yell alot and might break something. I know that it is wrong to do those things too, but when someone has blatent disrespect for me, that's when I get like that. Everything else really does tend to roll off of me nicely. But it's got to the point where I don't want to be around her anymore. In my state you have to be separated a year, with separate residences in order to petition for divorce.
> 
> As for why we got married? Well I loved her and I thought she loved me. She was a different person. She changed when we got married. Became more and more bitter and hostel. And the more I would tell her about it, the worse it got. That leaves us where we are right now.


she became ****ty after marriage
she refuse to talk about it
she refuse counseling
how old is she?
ask a lawyer if she can be forced into therapy.
Looks like she had second thoughts aboutmarriage with you and did everythign she could to sabotage it without having to acknowledge it.
you said something about her past that could explain what she do now. What is it?
If the home is on yoru name go back there and live in it while she can go live with her family while you are separated.
Its your home not hers.
Dont stay in the car, you dotn know what she is doing in your back.
You can use that she throw you out the house to get a faster divorce.
but make sure that its her who ahve to go live with her family and not you.you 2 had a communication problem that could be solved reading special books or asking for professional help but she never wanted to get help. And nobody said that you had to pull up with it so get out the marriage.
go back home, and stay there and tell her ot go to her family.


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