# Am I just jealous?



## bigmistake (Sep 13, 2016)

We've been married 18 years and this has happened several times. Maybe I'm just jealous but I'd like to see my wife looking as good for me as she does for others. It bothers me enough to ask for help. She goes to work looking really good, but then comes home and immediately changes before I get home. She tells me it's uncomfortable. So let me see if I understand. It was so uncomfortable that she chose put it on at 7:00 in the morning and remove it 9 hours later when she gets home from work. She decided to wear an uncomfortable outfit that other people enjoyed for 9 hours , but basically tells me I'm not important enough to wear it for an extra hour or less so I can enjoy it? It doesn't happen everyday so it's not like I'm asking for the world. She also refuses to put it on again after the kids go to bed so I can enjoy it. There are other things too. The other day after work she got soaked in a water fight with male and female coworkers. That particular day she was dress very nicely. A short skirt and a very thin blouse. I didn't get to see it so I can only picture how nice she looked and I'm sure the other men enjoyed it. I asked her to put it back on and jump in the shower so I could see her. She said "no. That's stupid. I'm not getting my clothes wet". I'm hurt. If she'd been wearing jeans and a t-shirt I wouldn't asked to see it. I feel like I'm not important to her. She does stuff for other people without thinking twice, but if I asked she'd look at me like I was stupid that she'd even think of doing it. Talking about it only gets me yelled at. I'm hurt, jealous, frustrated. Am I blowing things out of proportion? Should I suck it up and except that I'm not important enough for her to impress me or excite me?


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

bigmistake said:


> We've been married 18 years and this has happened several times. Maybe I'm just jealous but I'd like to see my wife looking as good for me as she does for others. It bothers me enough to ask for help. She goes to work looking really good, but then comes home and immediately changes before I get home. She tells me it's uncomfortable. So let me see if I understand. It was so uncomfortable that she chose put it on at 7:00 in the morning and remove it 9 hours later when she gets home from work. She decided to wear an uncomfortable outfit that other people enjoyed for 9 hours , but basically tells me I'm not important enough to wear it for an extra hour or less so I can enjoy it? It doesn't happen everyday so it's not like I'm asking for the world. She also refuses to put it on again after the kids go to bed so I can enjoy it. There are other things too. *The other day after work she got soaked in a water fight with male and female coworkers*. That particular day she was dress very nicely. A short skirt and a very thin blouse. I didn't get to see it so I can only picture how nice she looked and I'm sure the other men enjoyed it. I asked her to put it back on and jump in the shower so I could see her. She said "no. That's stupid. I'm not getting my clothes wet". I'm hurt. If she'd been wearing jeans and a t-shirt I wouldn't asked to see it. I feel like I'm not important to her. She does stuff for other people without thinking twice, but if I asked she'd look at me like I was stupid that she'd even think of doing it. Talking about it only gets me yelled at. I'm hurt, jealous, frustrated. Am I blowing things out of proportion? Should I suck it up and except that I'm not important enough for her to impress me or excite me?


Ok................where does she work?


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

You lost me at jump in the shower.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

rockon said:


> Ok................where does she work?


I'm going with strip club if he's so desperate to see her in her work clothes...

@bigmistake - Why don't you just set your alarm and get up before 7:00am?!?


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## bigmistake (Sep 13, 2016)

It doesn't really matter where she works. She looks good when she goes.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

bigmistake said:


> Am I just jealous?


How the heck would we know? Are you?



bigmistake said:


> Am I blowing things out of proportion?


Like I've never seen before on TAM. You sir win the gold star.


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## bigmistake (Sep 13, 2016)

Please get your heads out of the gutter.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Sadly Big welcome to married life, i can assure you you are not the first nor the last man on here who feels the same way. and god forbid you try to touch the merchandise when they are ready to go out the door in the morning. The person you suppose to impress the most you impress the least. But think of this way, when you look at the women in your building or going to the office in the morning are dressed better for you than their own spouses for the most part, and the same can go for men as well.


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## TAM2013 (Jul 15, 2013)

No. You're a husband/feminized chump. Take your time.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I can understand wanting to get comfortable when you get home. Why not take her out on the weekend in a LBD all dressed up. That would be just for you and bet she would love going out.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Here's how I see it.......no, I don't see it. I am not supposed to see "IT".

"IT" is her beautiful naked body. She shares "THAT" only with "YOU".

Everything else is cotton, nylon, rayon and wool.

Your eyes absorb those hues and textures that other men can only dream of.

Stop whining and enjoy her.

Keep up your controlling behavior and you will drive her to a place that your eyes can no longer see.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Wolf1974 said:


> I can understand wanting to get comfortable when you get home. Why not take her out on the weekend in a LBD all dressed up. That would be just for you and bet she would love going out.


THIS!

I have to sympathize. I am no longer in a relationship but if I had a job that involved wearing a skirt and blouse and heels - those things are uncomfortable. It's expected to wear them to work in some professions - but when you get home you want to be yourself. In my case, when I am home, I cook, clean, spend time with my kids, all of which involve a high likelihood of getting dirty, before bath time. 

Instead of harping on the workwear, which comes off more as you NOT wanting others to see her in it than YOU wanting to see her in it, take her out somewhere nice. Let her know ahead of time you want to take her somewhere nice and she'll dress up. Or buy her some beautiful lingerie - something she will wear just for you. You know her taste better than I do, but just as an example, generally women are more appreciative of something that makes us feel beautiful than items that cut or dig (thongs or crotchless panties in itchy or low-quality lace are a no-go). Plus, if it's comfortable, like a silk or satin slip, she'll be more likely to wear it. Then you can get her as wet as you want if a shower is what she is in the mood for. But I wouldn't try force the wet thing. It seems like you asked already about getting in the shower and she really doesn't enjoy the idea.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

Yes, you're blowing it out of proportion. That's it.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

TAM2013 said:


> No. You're a husband/feminized chump. Take your time.


Gee that's nice. Name calling and insulting the OP.


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## bluezone (Jan 7, 2012)

OP...

I think you wife is like the majority of women and men who have to dress up for work. If they could get away with wearing jeans and t-shirts every day they would. Having a suit or business clothes on for 8-9 hours is enough. When you get home the FIRST thing you want to do is get out of them. Plus I think it also separates your day into 1) I was at work 2) Now I'm home, and I can relax. 

I can understand you want to see her when she's all dressed up...but as others have suggested...the answer is not to ask her to stay in her work clothes. The answer is to take her out somewhere fancy so you can both dress up and appreciate each other. 

I would stop asking her to stay in her work clothes. 

Now, I have to ask...is there anything else going on that makes you feel like she is not wanting to dress up or look nice for you? I'm feeling like there is more to this story....


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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

Sorry but yes...this is being blown out of proportion.
I think someone was asking where she works in reference to a water fight...I've never worked anywhere that does that.
Anyway..to the point
I work in an office so I dress nicely for work.
After working my long stressful day...in shoes that even though they start out comfortable , by the end of the day end up being incredibly uncomfortable and having on business attire that yes..is comfortable..I can't wait to come home and throw on a pair of yoga pants.
I mean who wants to do laundry, take care of kids, cook supper and tidy the house in high heels and a suit.
Not me
And doesn't sound like your wife does.
Get up when she does if you want to see her dressed up.



Sent from my iPhone


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## silex (Sep 13, 2016)

I know just how you feel. I always like to get into the sex with her wearing whatever sexy outfit she comes home with. Maybe she even leaves part of it on during sex.

Difference between your situation and mine is that she'll do whatever I want.

You've lost.. and from what you wrote it doesn't look like you'll ever get it back.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

A water fight in a workplace? Unless they work in a carwash or a water park, that's definitely wrong on so many levels.

It must violate several health and safety regulations.


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## Begin again (Jul 4, 2016)

I think his guy is a troll. I've seen so many ridiculous first posts from newbies lately that I'm wondering if TAM has become some type of target.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

Can you meet her for lunch while she is at work? Then you will get to enjoy her dressed up.

Better yet have lunch with her and her coworkers to see the dynamic between them. If you notice strange reactions from some of them, you'll know something is up.

I don't think it is fair to belittle the OP for his desire to want his wife to dress up for him too, this is fairly normal desire. I experienced this for a while with my wife and felt similarly.

I agree with the idea of setting up some fancier dates and see if she gets dressed up for you.

Turn the tables on her and look great yourself and do things without her when you are looking good, then see how she feels.


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## silex (Sep 13, 2016)

Begin again said:


> I think his guy is a troll. I've seen so many ridiculous first posts from newbies lately that I'm wondering if TAM has become some type of target.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thats because you don't understand how guys think.

Perfectly normal, he's frustrated and thinks she doesn't care about him and he's probably right.


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

rockon said:


> Ok................where does she work?





bigmistake said:


> It doesn't really matter where she works. She looks good when she goes.


I don't think anyone wants the company name or office. But after 35 years of working I've never heard of everyone getting together for a water fight in their office clothes.

In fact I think most people would be really p***ed off to get soaked in their office clothing, especially when you say she looks so good in it which suggests that it's not jeans and t-shirt.


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## silex (Sep 13, 2016)

I think the water fight needs to be explained or no one is going to take this thread seriously.

For obvious reasons.


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## Begin again (Jul 4, 2016)

silex said:


> Thats because you don't understand how guys think.
> 
> Perfectly normal, he's frustrated and thinks she doesn't care about him and he's probably right.


I'll wait for the jury to decide...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Begin again (Jul 4, 2016)

He asked his wife of 18 years to put back on her work clothes and then get in he shower so he could see how she looked in those clothes, now wet. And he's the one who is hurt and frustrated? She doesn't care about him? What...?!?! What about her? If my husband asked me that, I'd look at him like he had two heads. And if he got upset when I refused, I'd tell him he needs to grow up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## silex (Sep 13, 2016)

Wait I missed where he wants her to step into the shower and get soaked in her work clothes.

I'm thinking that's an unreasonable request.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

bigmistake said:


> It doesn't really matter where she works. She looks good when she goes.


Wet t shirt? It sure does matter where she works. i want to work there too.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

silex said:


> Wait I missed where he wants her to step into the shower and get soaked in her work clothes.
> 
> I'm thinking that's an unreasonable request.


No! Really? You know you just might be right!

Sorry just kidding!

I have seen water soaker and nerf gun fights in offices recently - normally a younger crowd but not necessarily always. So I actually can believe that part.

What time does she go to work and what time do you go to work ? Get up early and go out with her if you want to see her dressed up. And if you want some wet tee shirt role-play stuff, then organise it for when she is not tired and has plenty of time.

Oh an how old are both of you?


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## Guth (Oct 23, 2015)

Well it's nice that you find your wife attractive after 18 years. I am in the same boat. Basically whatever my wife wears she looks good and that includes no makeup and to me she looks best with no clothes on in the morning. Enjoy my friend. Think of all the chumps who have overweight women with a lot of facial hair after 18 years.


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