# Am i doing it wrong?



## angrynconfused (Feb 9, 2013)

Me and my wife dated a year before we were married. Sex was great, she was great, everything was great until marriage. We might have rushed into marriage because i was moving across the country and in order for her to come with me we had to be married. (military) :smthumbup: So here we are Married and in love in the beautiful state of California at the age of 20 with great plans and great financial situation.  Part of the plan was for her to get a part time job and finish her degree which she was already 2 years into. Unfortunately 2 months passed and she decided she didn't want to finish her degree, and turned down jobs because she didn't want to work weekends.  Now that was fine and all and money was still fine me working 60+ hours a week and weekend hours coming home to find her not moving from the couch and never applying to jobs saying no ones hiring. About 4 months passed and our Car was having some trouble so her idea was to get a new one, so we did and our finances got a little tight, but we were still doing fine. I started mentioning getting a job and she said no ones was hiring and she's been trying her hardest. (2 applications in 1 month saying she refuses to work weekend hours)  So after bugging her about getting a job she now "Magically" became pregnant after being on birth control for 4 years and cannot possibly get a job because now she is pregnant. We are not financially stable for a kid and i didn't even want one yet. Everything i do is bad and I've had to take up a 2nd job.. yes on top of my 60+ hour a week military job and she still complains i don't care for this family because i'm never home.. when i can't because im working so hard to keep us afloat. Not to mention i come home at 6pm (leaving to work at 5:30am) and go straight to working again.. while she's on the couch... same as every day.. watching tv and complaining im never home enough.. Anyone have any ideas im about to just let her move back with her family but i've come to accept my baby im going to be having next year.


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## Mrs.Webster (Jan 9, 2013)

Your not doing anything wrong. She is being lazy and selfish. If you ask me, she needs an eye opener. Also something you should know is women want emotional stability and support over financial support almost all the time. So in turn you taking a second job to keep her happy, isnt what she really wants. And she needs to get her ass off the couch, back in school, and get a job. Prego or not, she can still get a job. Talk to her. And i meant sit her down shut her up and you do the talking. BTW, BC dont always work. Always use a rubber. W or w/o bc.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Agree with the previous posters. 

1. Sit down with wife and go over a BUDGET: how much money comes in every month, WHERE EXACTLY it all goes. 

2. Start figuring out how much a baby costs.

3. Sell the television. SERIOUSLY, biggest time-waster on earth. Get rid of it; you're never home to watch it, she never does anything else. Take away her 'toy' until she grows up. You can always buy another one later.

4. Explain to W that if she doesn't get on board and start EARNING some income, or finishing her career, she CAN move back with her family and mooch off of them. She's supposed to be YOUR PARTNER, not a spoiled teenager. Remind her you're NOT her "daddy".

5. You need to man-up! Why did you buy a NEW car at her behest because the old one had problems? You either needed a new car, or you did not. You can't blame HER if YOU were too gutless to stand up and say, 'we can't afford this'.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

This all sounds very familiar somehow.....but this is your thread not mine ) OK, so do you have any respect left for this person? If "no" do you want to spend more of your life with this person? My guess is that this torment goes on as long as you let it.


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## Carlchurchill (Jan 23, 2013)

Am i doing it wrong? Yes you are.

By getting another job you are enabling her.

Investing in a depreciating asset such as a new car is not very wise, should have gone for a 2nd hand car with low miles.

Working hard is all well and good, but working smart is so much better. Just getting by when you work +12hr days? c'mon man thats not right.

Congrats with the baby, they say all children are blessings and the more you have the more your blessings multiply!! Keep positive and the universe will provide you what you need.

Oh and tell your wife to finish her degree while she is still young. Marriage is a team event and she is not pulling her weight!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

sell the car and buy used. cut the fat out of your lifestyle as best you can.

never mind she sounds very selfish and manipulative your in for a long hard ride!

keep your eyes wide open. is the kid even yours?


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