# Update - Oldest story...



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

Confronted my wife last night, was brutal...I started by asking her if she had anything she wanted to tell me and she said no...then I told her I know about her relationship with her co-worker...over 2 hours of talking the "short" version went kind of like this:

1) There's nothing going on
2) That's not my secret Yahoo account
3) Ok, it's my account but those e-mails are fake (supposedly trying to get a "reaction" out of me)
4) He's just a friend, I use that account for lots of work stuff too (only e-mails I saw in 5 weeks were from each of them to each other)

I pulled out copies of 2 rather incrimnating e-mails (dated December of this year) and began reading to her...she finally broke down and admitted they had sex PRIOR to May of this year and SWEARS after I had confronted her in May with my concerns that she was cheating on me she ended the affair...I told her I don't believe her because she continued to e-mail with co-worker for 6 months and these 2 December e-mails prove at the VERY LEAST they kissed and had 1 "sex talk" e-mail WHILE I WAS AT HOME with her and my daughter.

Then the blame game started...now it's my fault:

1) We had problems 7 years ago and I had moved out for 6 months. Short story is I was unhappy and wanted to date someone else. We got back together, had our daughter and I thought things were "ok" until the affair...so she says "I've had nightmares about those problems since then"..."I forgave you, when are you going to forgive me?"
2) THEN GET THIS: She says, "sometimes I wonder if you are gay or bi, I've made mental notes of things you've said over the years and it's always made me wonder" (I have nothing against anyone gay but I'm not gay and the insinuation pisses me off)
3) After only 2 hours of talking she asks me, "how long are you going to keep bringing up the affair? I'm so so so so f'in sorry"

I told her I was staying in the guest room until we take next steps, I'm not out to embarass her with her family, my family or her work and as long as we stay cordial and I don't get made to be the bad guy I'm ok with saying we grew apart as to why it's over...

she came to my bed last night in tears and asked to sleep in same bed, I relinquished and that's where we're at as of now. I told her I've seen a counselor and suggests she does as well, I'm also ok talking to one together but I'm 99% done...I suggested she ask her counselor if she's crazy for wanting to stay in a marriage where:

1) She hasn't had sex in over 4 years
2) She had an affair with a co-worker
3) She's not sure if her husband is straight, gay or bi

oh - and I made her write me a check for half the money in the accts...good times


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

pasadenasad said:


> Confronted my wife last night, was brutal...I started by asking her if she had anything she wanted to tell me and she said no...then I told her I know about her relationship with her co-worker...over 2 hours of talking the "short" version went kind of like this:
> 
> 1) There's nothing going on
> 2) That's not my secret Yahoo account
> ...


Why did you have her write you a check for half the money in the accounts? All you have to do is to go to the bank and transfer the money. 

Why hasn't she had sex in 4 years?


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Yup, looks like the marriage is slowly winding down.

You werent happy 7 years ago. No sex for 4 years. She had an affair for about a year. She thinks her husband is gay.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

No sex for 4 years? Divorce!


----------



## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

I'm not one to shout "DIVORCE," but c'mon, man. You deserve better than this.


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

pasadenasad said:


> 1) We had problems 7 years ago and I had moved out for 6 months. Short story is I was unhappy and wanted to date someone else. We got back together, had our daughter and I thought things were "ok" until the affair...so she says "I've had nightmares about those problems since then"..."I forgave you, when are you going to forgive me?"


Even if you were to forgive her, you don't do it on D-Day. It comes weeks or months down the road.



pasadenasad said:


> 2) THEN GET THIS: She says, "sometimes I wonder if you are gay or bi, I've made mental notes of things you've said over the years and it's always made me wonder" (I have nothing against anyone gay but I'm not gay and the insinuation pisses me off)


YIKES! That is a huge, nuclear red flag. She's saying that she finds you so unattractive that she questions your sexuality. That will leave a mark.



pasadenasad said:


> 3) After only 2 hours of talking she asks me, "how long are you going to keep bringing up the affair? I'm so so so so f'in sorry"


Totally standard. All disloyal spouses want to rug sweep. It avoids consequences, which is a universally attractive notion.



pasadenasad said:


> she came to my bed last night in tears and asked to sleep in same bed, I relinquished and that's where we're at as of now.


Bad move. Right now, you're her gay friend with a shoulder to cry on that her gravy train is ending.

Whether you want to divorce or not, you need to pull the trigger and start the paperwork. You can call it off later. But she needs to believe that you're completely serious about cutting her out of your life.

If you do want divorce, you need to just detach from her. Don't sleep with her. Don't commiserate with her about how much it sucks that you caught her.

Even if you want to reconcile, you need to improve yourself to be a more attractive husband, while holding her to a high standard of change as well. Once the two of you are progressing toward your goal of being better people in a better relationship, you can discuss calling off the divorce and starting over. But not before.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Ask her to give you a BJ to prove she's not a lesbian.


----------



## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

morituri said:


> Ask her to give you a BJ to prove she's not a lesbian.


does she have teeth? I woukdn't go lurking in that cave!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Why did you have her write you a check for half the money in the accounts? All you have to do is to go to the bank and transfer the money.
> 
> Why hasn't she had sex in 4 years?


In August she admitted she had about $60,000 more in an account than she was telling me. I give/gave her most of my paycheck and she paid all the bills...she works too and evidently was salting the account with more money than she was telling me...She's not a spendthrift and the amount she told me we had was enough to keep me from looking deeper, we have a nice home, etc so I didn't think twice about it...I checked on-line with the bank on Friday and made her write me a check for half of the amount...just to be safe.

no sex for 4 years...after the baby we stopped being attracted to each other...I was naive enough to think that's what happens sometimes and as long as we loved our daughter and treated each other "nice" then that was the price to pay to keep a family "together" for sake of daughter.


----------



## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

whats to stop her from moving the money, and your checks worthless?


----------



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

67flh said:


> whats to stop her from moving the money, and your checks worthless?


We'll know as soon as check clears...according to lawyer, it's a she can't spend or move the money without being guilty of fraud in which case she could even lose her half. In fact, he told me not to let her know I know about the extra funds in the hopes she DOES try to hide it so I could get it all but that's not in my DNA. Having her cut the check makes me feel better knowing I have my half in a seperate account for time being and also let's her know I'm serious about moving on


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I've never understood why anyone bothers to lie while standing over the corpse and the gun's in their hand.


----------



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I've never understood why anyone bothers to lie while standing over the corpse and the gun's in their hand.


If it was my STBXW (my first use of the acronyms, thank you) with the gun she'd say:

1) No one's dead, what are you talking about?
2) Ok, he's dead but I didn't shoot him
3) Ok, I shot him but I did it to see if you really loved me
4) It's your fault I shot him, he's your gay lover

I know this is seripous and 16 years of a relationship and 5 year old daughter are about to go into hell...but it feels good to at least chuckle for first time in a long time...


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

pasadenasad said:


> 4) It's your fault I shot him, he's your gay lover


That's a good one.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Hehe,if she told OM that you are gay/bi you could totally mess with him intact direction. Suggest the two of you meet up!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

update - it's been about 3 weeks since Confrontation on 12/26. For sake of our 5yo daughter's sanity I agreed not to do anything "drastic" (her words) like move out the next day or tell all our family and friends about the affair. We are cordial to each other when we see each other, friendly in front of Daughter and family but she still cries nearly every night before I go to my room. We've gone to MC 3 times and at end of last one I said I wanted a divorce. Both she and counselor asked if I was open to a seperation rather than filing right away for divorce and I said I would consider that as long as it meant I found my own place. I feel I need to have space and distance from her so I can clear my head without having her constantly around me. 

Without me asking she has given me pass codes to her phone and blackberry and swears she has zero contact with OM. My gut believes her this time because the phones are always on kitchen counter instead of in her hand and she's even left them at house while going on errands, something she never, ever did in the past...however, I have to be honest (and this may sound weird)...but I don't care anymore if she has contact with him...I cared in May when I confronted her with my suspisions of her affair and I cared all Summer and Fall when my gut told me she was involved with somene even though she SWORE nothing was going on...I cared when I tried to be as attentive a husband as I could be but she kept looking at her damn texts and e-mails and what love I had left for her and our marriage died out altogether when I read her e-mails in Nov/Dec with OM.

Our counselor asked to see my wife alone last week and I was ok with it...we didn't get into too much what was said as I figure we'll talk more about that on Thursday when we go back, however, my wife said something last night that I think gets to the crux of our ability to hear the same words and come to 2 totally different meanings of those words. Basically, my wife is asking me to forgive her, that she's so so sorry, and that the A meant "nothing", she would "never leave her family for him," and she doesn't know why she had the affair with him, then denied it and kept it up even after I told her my suspions in May. She said the therapist told her: "it's a shame and sad that your marriage is going to end because of an affair with someone who meant nothing to you". I hear those words from the therapist and think the therapist is saying..."hey, wife, you crapped the bed and gave up your family for someone that you readily admit means nothing to you, sucks to be you"...while my wife thinks the therapist is saying, "it sucks that your husband wants to leave you over an affair with someone who you readily admit means nothing to you, he should forgive you and take you back"...I'm paraphrasing of course...anyway, will update again on Friday as we discuss the details of how to tell my daughter/visitation/bills etc. thanks for reading


----------



## KittyKat (May 11, 2008)

pasadenasad said:


> Then the blame game started...now it's my fault:
> 
> 1) We had problems 7 years ago and I had moved out for 6 months. Short story is I was unhappy and wanted to date someone else. We got back together, had our daughter and I thought things were "ok" until the affair...so she says "I've had nightmares about those problems since then"..."I forgave you, when are you going to forgive me?"


Did you sleep w/ any women when you were separated? You say you wanted to date someone else. Now your wife has dated someone else. 
I'm sorry. But aren't you calling the kettle black?

Your wife cries every night. She's obviously sorry and torn up she had an affair. Were you this distraught when you left her so you could date someone else?


----------



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

yes, I did sleep with someone else 7 years ago after I moved out...When I was moving out she asked me if there was someone else and I said, yes, I'm attracted to someone else. It was painful, I did not want to see her hurt but I did it anyway. My wife changed her personality over the next 6 months while I lived away, she would call me to talk, would tell me about her day, would ask my advice about things, she was "present and there" for me, would look me in the eye when we talked would really "listen"...I fell for her again and after 6 months of seperation I moved back and physically we were having sex more often as well....so, yes, she has told me quite often over past 3 weeks... "you did it 7 years ago, I forgave you, why can't you forgive me?"...here are my 2 big differences though: 

1) I came to her in May and confronted her with my suspisions, she swore on my daughter nothing was going on. 7 years ago, as painful as it was and as guilty as I felt, I was honest about what I felt and left...She, however, when confronted in May lied to me about having sex with OM and kept it up from May to December when I confronted her with actual proof.

2) After I moved back 7 years ago, all the things that she did while we were seperated changed back to just like how things were before...no sex (literally for 4 years), lack of interest in anything I do or to do activities together, zoning me out, hiding money, etc. We basically lived to raise our daughter. 

Things would be considerably "easier" (financially and otherwise) if I forgave her like she supposedly forgave me but I can't seem to make myself want her back...


----------



## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

4 years of no sex for you while having sex with the OM would be enough for me to end it and not look back.


----------



## thegreatwm (Aug 14, 2011)

Wow and I thought that I had it bad. Are we talking 4 years in human years or dog years?


----------



## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

No sex for 4 years while she is banging the OM even after you found out? Sorry but you would have to be a big time masochist to remain in this marriage. Good luck.


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

She did this to herself, SHE caused herself this pain. SHE isn't entitled to anything from you. Call it done.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Check to see if you moving out is considered abandonment of your daughter come legal custody time.


----------



## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

IMHO---if you do pursue D., and you do move out---you will be nailed for abandonment---and if she has a good atty., he will rip you apart---specially considering you moved out 7 yrs., ago and had an Affair of your own, while you were out.

Stay in the home---even if it is seperate bedrooms, and you two just act like roommates-----This therapist may know what he/she is doing in the world of psychobabble, but not be tuned into knowing legal issues

be careful who you take advice from.


----------



## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Actually where you will really be hurt, in Calif., if you leave, as in desertion, or abandonment---will be in the matter of custody

If you want to be the custodial parent, or even just go for joint custody---if you leave/desert/abandon---you weaken your case, for custodial rights---and believe me your wife will throw your prior infidelity at you, when you left 7 years ago.----STAY IN YOUR HOME NO MATTER WHAT.


----------



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

what does IMHO mean? and wow, thanks for the heads up on moving out...holy crap, that's my biggest concern is making sure i get 50/50 with my daughter so I'll not be moving out until I get everything squared away with my lawyer's advice...We've discussed custody over past 3 weeks and she says she would never try to keep our daughter from being with me but I can't take that chance.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

in my humble opinion


----------



## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey Pasadena---no matter what your atty. says---DO NOT MOVE OUT--UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES----There have been quite a few off the wall decisions, that came down from that courthouse on walnut.---The courthouse where you will file and appear----you stay in your home---no matter what anyone says.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> No sex for 4 years? Divorce!


:iagree:


----------



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

I just met with my IC (different from the MC we are seeing together)...she could not have agreed more...I will not move out


----------



## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Once a cheater is a cheater for ever, file for divorce immediately. As soon as possible.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> Once a cheater is a cheater for ever.


Wrong. Not all cheaters are the same.


----------



## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I understand your anger...but as mentioned by only one person previously...you cheated first. I find it a little strange that you're so unforgiving of her because she "lied" to you.

But you were lying by omission to her everyday that you were falling for the other woman 7 years ago. 2 wrongs don't make a right but it should give you some perspective right?


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

sinnister said:


> I understand your anger...but as mentioned by only one person previously...you cheated first. I find it a little strange that you're so unforgiving of her because she "lied" to you.
> 
> But you were lying by omission to her everyday that you were falling for the other woman 7 years ago. 2 wrongs don't make a right but it should give you some perspective right?


That's a good point. That was probably the beginning of the end 7 years ago. It does take some people quite a while (years) to get over their spouse's infidelity if they ever do.


----------



## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

> I understand your anger...but as mentioned by only one person previously...you cheated first. I find it a little strange that you're so unforgiving of her because she "lied" to you.
> 
> But you were lying by omission to her everyday that you were falling for the other woman 7 years ago. 2 wrongs don't make a right but it should give you some perspective right?


Pot calling the kettle black. Tell, me Pasadenadad, how do you manage to interact with your wife sitting up on that high-horse?


----------



## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Whoa----people---he cheated, it got taken care of, and dealt with----

Her cheating is a whole different ballgame---and he can deal with it ANY F'ING WAY HE WANTS


----------



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

I brought this issue up yesterday with MC as it is something that I have absolutely thought about...Am I, as Spudster so sarcastically noted, "sitting on a high horse"? And should my wife get a pass based on what happened 7 years ago? There are a few things though that make it different (to me anyway, maybe not to others):

1) While in no way noble on my part in any shape or form... when I wanted out of my marriage 7 years ago I told my wife I had feelings for someone else and moved out...I don't expect any frickin gold medals for it but I didn't tell her, "I swear on my life there's nothing going on" and then have a 9 month affair with a co-worker while she laid in bed next to me

2) We got back together after 6 months, went to counseling, had a baby, and I was in for the duration...eventually, we went right back to where we were in a physical and emotional sense 2-3 years after the baby but I was still in

3) When I confronted her in May with my suspisions she swore there was "nothing going on, I was crazy, etc"...meanwhile she had already slept with him and continued to, at the bare minimum, maintain an EA until I looked at e-mails in November...first e-mail I saw was how he "loved her kisses", she replies-"you really needed it".

She says she can't explain why she started up with this guy and continued their "friendship" even after she knew I had suspisions in May...she says she never saw a future with him and she would not have left her family for him...that he meant "nothing" to her---she did admit yesterday that in the back of her mind she had a sort of "pass" for what happened 7 years ago


----------



## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

> 1) While in no way noble on my part in any shape or form... when I wanted out of my marriage 7 years ago I told my wife I had feelings for someone else and moved out...I don't expect any frickin gold medals for it but I didn't tell her, "I swear on my life there's nothing going on" and then have a 9 month affair with a co-worker while she laid in bed next to me


Point made. I rescind prior sarcastic remark.


----------



## pasadenasad (Dec 23, 2011)

thanks Spud...I do sincerely appreciate the honesty and all points of view because I am all over the map with my emotions and thoughts...I really have said to myself, "should I let this go?" "Does she deserve a 'pass'?" "Why can't I feel passion for her?" "Should we go to a sex therapist?" (by the way, has anyone gone to one?) 

Yesterday we talked more about what her thoughts were back in May when I confronted her with my suspisions...she said, "'basically" I ended it"...I stopped her right then and said "when you start the sentence with 'basically' I don't believe the rest of what you are going to say"...she said she only used that word becasue she can't remember "exactly" what she told OM...regardless she says she told OM they had to stop, that her husband had suspisions and came to her "crying" that he knew something was going on...I will admit, I was very emotional in May, I envisioned my life without seeing my daughter everyday, the drama with family, the money and of course the mental images of her lying with some other man while we had no physical contact...I didn't outwardly show anger but inside I was pissed that she told this DB I cried to her about our marriage, I feel emasculated on so many levels and I'm not a weak person in all other aspects of my life...I told her that by telling OM how emotional I was was emasculating and she just brushed it off....sorry, went of on a tangent there


----------



## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

That is no tangent. It was her disrespecting you. And then saying it to her POSOM. And then she brushed it off. Even more unforgivable.


----------



## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

pasadenasad said:


> thanks Spud...I do sincerely appreciate the honesty and all points of view because I am all over the map with my emotions and thoughts...I really have said to myself, "should I let this go?" "Does she deserve a 'pass'?" "Why can't I feel passion for her?" "Should we go to a sex therapist?" (by the way, has anyone gone to one?)
> 
> Yesterday we talked more about what her thoughts were back in May when I confronted her with my suspisions...she said, "'basically" I ended it"...I stopped her right then and said "when you start the sentence with 'basically' I don't believe the rest of what you are going to say"...she said she only used that word becasue she can't remember "exactly" what she told OM...regardless she says she told OM they had to stop, that her husband had suspisions and came to her "crying" that he knew something was going on...I will admit, I was very emotional in May, I envisioned my life without seeing my daughter everyday, the drama with family, the money and of course the mental images of her lying with some other man while we had no physical contact...I didn't outwardly show anger but inside I was pissed that she told this DB I cried to her about our marriage, I feel emasculated on so many levels and I'm not a weak person in all other aspects of my life...I told her that by telling OM how emotional I was was emasculating and she just brushed it off....sorry, went of on a tangent there



Nice wife, with a lot of respect for her husbands emotions and esteem. wah.....
Then why she continued the affair, even after you went behind her crying, because you went behind her CRYING if you had shown her how real men views cheating, she may have put and end to her ****ing affair in May itself. man up man, kick her out of your house. these serial cheaters never deserve empathy. They will never learn to respect and love their husband


----------



## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

She is a real piece of work. She continued to lie to you and humiliate you more in front of the OM. She total emasculates you and then brushes it off. She clearly has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Do hope the both of you got tested for STD's. Why you want to spend your life with this woman is beyond me but good luck anyway.


----------



## vickyyy (Oct 28, 2011)

morituri said:


> Wrong. Not all cheaters are the same.


U r wrong.Cheater is a cheater.Are there categories of cheater like Full cheater , semi cheater etc.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

vickyyy said:


> U r wrong.Cheater is a cheater.Are there categories of cheater like Full cheater , semi cheater etc.


Now that you mention it, there are categories for different types of cheaters.

#1: My Marriage Made Me Do It.

#2: I Can’t Say No

#3: I Don’t Want to Say No

#4: I Fell Out of Love (and just love being in love)

#5: I Want to Get Back at Him/Her

#6: I Need to Prove My Desirability

#7: I Want to be Close to Someone (which means I can’t stand intimacy)

Therefore I still stand by my assertion that not all cheaters are the same.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

People can cheat once and never cheat again. There's a few of them on this board.


----------



## vickyyy (Oct 28, 2011)

that_girl said:


> People can cheat once and never cheat again. There's a few of them on this board.



How can you say that cheater is not going to cheat in future ?
there is equal probability that he may cheat or may not cheat.But saying he will never cheat is absurd.
and please do not trust whatever people say in forums as they can be trolls.


----------



## vickyyy (Oct 28, 2011)

morituri said:


> Now that you mention it, there are categories for different types of cheaters.
> 
> #1: My Marriage Made Me Do It.
> 
> ...


These r not categories Sir. These r the excuses given by cheaters to justify their affair.At the end, cheater is a cheater whether he do EA, PA, ONS, financial infidelity etc


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

vickyyy said:


> These r not categories Sir. These r the excuses given by cheaters to justify their affair.At the end, cheater is a cheater whether he do EA, PA, ONS, financial infidelity etc


Wrong again. These are categories that Dr. Robert Huizenga has formed from all thousands of people he has dealt who have had affairs.

With all due respect, I'll take his knowledgeable words over yours any day of the week.


----------



## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

vickyyy said:


> These r not categories Sir. These r the excuses given by cheaters to justify their affair.At the end, cheater is a cheater whether he do EA, PA, ONS, financial infidelity etc


Hey Vic,I think you've been punked . By the way you can't say anyone would never cheat from what I've seen. 

Reminds me of the joke "Would you do me for a million dollars?"


----------



## vickyyy (Oct 28, 2011)

morituri said:


> Wrong again. These are categories that Dr. Robert Huizenga has formed from all thousands of people he has dealt who have had affairs.
> 
> With all due respect, I'll take his knowledgeable words over yours any day of the week.


I don't give a **** on which research studies and books u refer to come up such categories.
I believe that cheater is a cheater.
With all due respect, i am not asking u to agree with me because every man differs.
U must be a cheater.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

vickyyy said:


> U must be a cheater.


Wrong again troll.


----------



## vickyyy (Oct 28, 2011)

morituri said:


> Wrong again troll.



that's very low.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

vickyyy said:


> that's very low.


No more so than being accused of being a cheater only because we disagree that cheaters are all the same.


----------



## vickyyy (Oct 28, 2011)

morituri said:


> No more so than being accused of being a cheater only because we disagree that cheaters are all the same.



Well, the way you have played down the seriousness of cheating issue anyone would call you a cheater who is coming up with **** research study reports and books to make himself less guilty of cheating.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

morituri found a video on his computer of his wife having sex with another man and divorced her. His ex wife tried to commit suicide and was institutionalized and the OM was found murdered recently. So he knows what its like to be a BS, but doesnt let himself become bitter.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

vickyyy said:


> Well, the way you have played down the seriousness of cheating issue anyone would call you a cheater who is coming up with **** research study reports and books to make himself less guilty of cheating.


Downplayed the seriousness of cheating? It is obvious that you have not read my story - which I have repeated ad nauseum - throughout some of the 2,709 comments I have posted. 

Thankfully, lordmayhem has been kind enough to run a short summary of my story for you to read on his post above this one. Care to give us a condensed version of your story? Here's your opportunity to prove you're not a troll.


----------



## vickyyy (Oct 28, 2011)

morituri said:


> Downplayed the seriousness of cheating? It is obvious that you have not read my story - which I have repeated ad nauseum - throughout some of the 2,709 comments I have posted.
> 
> Thankfully, lordmayhem has been kind enough to run a short summary of my story for you to read on his post above this one. Care to give us a condensed version of your story? Here's your opportunity to prove you're not a troll.


Your story is very sad and touching.Your wife was real ***** to do such kind of things.I am very sorry for hurtful words I told u.I never read your story.I read only story of a member called Almostrecovered.I think you should also write your story in details on how u overcome all this, it will be very helpful for new folks like me.

I hope u r doing well now.U should now start dating women again.There r plenty of beautiful and attractive women out there.:smthumbup:

Well, I cant tell about my story because i dont have any.I am 25 yr.male.Not married yet and will not marry before 30.I have been here for quite sometime and this forum has really helped me.this forum has changed my perspective regarding family and friends.i also shares some stories here with my friends.I also read "No more Mr. Nice Guy" book recommended here, this was really really helpful because i was kind of beta earlier.
So thats it, i have nothing else to say,best wishes for u with women.I would like to know your reply.


----------



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

As lordmayhem said, I refused to allow my ex-wife's affair make me into a angry and bitter man. Those two twins are toxic and they will follow you and poison your future and the people you care about IF you let them, good riddance. For that reason I forgave my ex-wife but chose to divorce her. She's got her demons to conquer and I wish her the best of luck in doing so.

And Vick, you'll be happy to know that for over a year now, I have been in a committed relationship with a lovely lady who believes in many of the same things I do, especially honesty and transparency. She also was married at one time and her ex-husband cheated on her, so she knows what it's like.

You could say that I'm living proof that the best revenge is to simply live well.


----------

