# Just how damaged are all of ya'll?



## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

It is IMPOSSIBLE to post a casual, fluffy post on here without getting the most insane reaches and to blow issues way out of proportion.

Is this where people come to like... Die? Wallow? Enter the upside down?

Even "normal" issues and fights end up getting taken to such a dark place. We're in marriages. We have issues. We get over them. Why is everyone holding onto the darkest, grimmest thoughts? Some of the responses on here feel like they're coming from people who have never been told one nice thing in their lives. Like those abused dogs you see on the Dodo.

"My husband said I was being a *****" somehow translates into he's actually an abusive dragon with 6 children from 6 different women and you should leave him. WHAAAAT?

So, is any one on here NOT A VICTIM OF THE FOLLOWING:

abuse
emotional cheating
physical cheating

Is anyone having good old fashioned marital problems? Or does there have to be a hooker and a black eye and a double life?


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> It is IMPOSSIBLE to post a casual, fluffy post on here without getting the most insane reaches and to blow issues way out of proportion.
> 
> Is this where people come to like... Die? Wallow? Enter the upside down?
> 
> ...




Me 

the issue I came here with 6 years ago (LD husband) has long gone and it has been onwards and upwards ever since. Just here for the banter and to avoid the housework.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I think that there is a mixture of all sorts here.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

My inlaws are what brought me to TAM, hence my username FRUStrated Daughter In Law - Frusdil. Lol.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

frusdil said:


> My inlaws are what brought me to TAM, hence my username FRUStrated Daughter In Law - Frusdil. Lol.


Are you any less of a frusdil now? I hope so


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Most are pretty troubled by the time they make it here. And its an escape to come here and try to help through our own experiences .

Triggers and hard raw emotions are behind a lot of advice.

Sometimes it comes off as radical but more often than not it's spot on .we see many first time posters in denial about their spouse cheating only for them to come back and say you guys were right. 

Not just with cheating but other serious problems also .


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## VibrantWings (Sep 8, 2017)

UnicornCupcake- love the handle. 

Have you been to Candy Mountain?







P.S. I'm not damaged. A bit flaky sometimes but most people seem to enjoy it


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Of course I'm not damaged.

I call it learning


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

A question for you OP is on a board with thousands of members, can you really expect every single one of them to reply to yours or any other thread only on a good day? 

Also, it is easy to missjudge someone's post based on the interpretation of the reader.


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## TheOriginalAlphaOmega (Nov 16, 2017)

Well. I was damaged when I first came here. No one's fault but my own.

I'm much more mature in the Brain Pan now then I was back then. Shat, I don't even care what people (dates, relationship partners) say about me now or the "trials" they test me with... They can get mad at me, yell at me. Call me stupid and a loser. I just take it all in now. Sometimes they are right and I get some free self-reflective therapy out of it. 

Other times...I just think..."wtf..you're crazy" and point to the door.

Life is good. Change is good. Change in life is good. It's all good.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I guess I'm not damaged, at least not in any of the ways you describe. My faithful husband isn't abusive in any way.

I still have a past but 24 years of a loving marriage has helped tame the demons.

I wondered on here for martial sex advice because we getting older have back issues and ED some when we go for sex above about 9 times a week.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I was cheated on. I remember the pain but I am healed and am actually happy I didn't end up with her. I am mostly on here because I just have a strong sympathy for those suffering. I always have, but even more so to those cheated on because I remember how hopeless I felt at the time. 

I am just naturally cantankerous.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

sokillme said:


> I was cheated on. I remember the pain but I am healed and am actually happy I didn't end up with her. I am mostly on here because I just have a strong sympathy for those suffering. I always have, but even more so to those cheated on because I remember how hopeless I felt at the time.
> 
> *I am just naturally cantankerous*.


You hide that well >


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## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I've been through all 3, am I damaged never.

A lot folks will tell someone to leave their spouse, but then we are only getting one side of the story so we can only go by what an OP post.

Some of us also try to prevent the OP from going through what we did and opening their eyes, as to not suffer like we did.

No body has to take every suggestion that is giving to them on here, we are speaking from our experience and what we went through.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

In the words of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory

_"I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested!"_ 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

vibrantwings said:


> unicorncupcake- love the handle.
> 
> Have you been to candy mountain?
> 
> ...


rotfl


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Ever see the cartoon, "Adult Children of Normal Parents"? That's me. The only "damage" I experienced was from a long-term sexless marriage. That has continued to color my views, even though I divorced her long ago.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

There are many folks so screwed up they don't know how to smile anymore.

I came here researching to help a friend.

I am extremely damaged! LOL! But still appreciate good things in life and I sincerely like many posters here.

I liked your Christmas gift thread and I'm sorry some folks are so perpetually victimized that they don't know how to have a good time!

Don't let it discourage you and have a good black Friday!😁


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

Recently I'm feeling the best I've ever felt in my life. The only regret I live with is not working on myself 20 years ago and now at 40 I lived a lot of my life miserable when I didn't need to.

Everyone is damaged, some just fight back harder to get back to a good place.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I'm not damaged. If I were I would know.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Totally damaged...

Yet a hell of a lot more healthy then when I first arrived on this site.

So from a total mess to just mostly a mess...


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

UnicornCupcake said:


> So, is any one on here NOT A VICTIM OF THE FOLLOWING:
> 
> abuse
> emotional cheating
> ...


i'm not a victim of any of that

doesn't mean my marriage doesn't suck


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## growing_weary (Jul 23, 2017)

You have to take some stuff here with a grain of salt and make sure it applies to your situation. 

Also, I won't read much more than the relationship threads here because the socio political ones trend a certain sort of way and posters there tend to have vastly different experiences/opinions than I do.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

john117 said:


> Of course I'm not damaged.
> 
> I call it learning


*I refer to it as a “two-time learning experience,” but unfortunately, consider myself to be little more than “damaged goods,” never knowing quite how to find trust and faith in a woman ever again!*


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

UnicornCupcake said:


> So, is any one on here NOT A VICTIM OF THE FOLLOWING:
> 
> abuse
> emotional cheating
> ...


No, nothing so severe.

Just another guy on the wrong side of a HD/LD mismatch.


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