# Marriage Chances Rise With Your Salary



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Marriage may be becoming obsolete ... but at least we can still talk about it ...

Marriage Chances Rise with Your Salary | Financially Fit - Yahoo! Shine


----------



## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

"24.8 percent of Americans have college degrees today"

Did not know the number was that low


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Hmmm...more like the chance of attracting gold-digging skanks rises with your salary!


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

F-102 said:


> Hmmm...more like the chance of attracting gold-digging skanks rises with your salary!


Or low life gigolos


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

So - has been a while since I've dated - but is there some sort of formal application process I need to know about?


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Taken at face value, and I think we would see that we think alot more about needing long term security before agreeing to marry, but a pessimist would see this as a statement about how love only goes so far when it comes to choosing a marriage partner.

In 2006, the NYT did an interesting piece called "Facing Middle Age With No Degree, and No Wife", which stated that 18% of men from ages 40 to 44, with no college degree, have never married.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Halien said:


> Taken at face value, and I think we would see that we think alot more about needing long term security before agreeing to marry, but a pessimist would see this as a statement about how love only goes so far when it comes to choosing a marriage partner.
> 
> In 2006, the NYT did an interesting piece called "Facing Middle Age With No Degree, and No Wife", which stated that 18% of men from ages 40 to 44, with no college degree, have never married.


And still live in their parents' basement?


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

nice777guy said:


> So - has been a while since I've dated - but is there some sort of formal application process I need to know about?


Yes, there is a $500 processing fee.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Amplexor said:


> Yes, there is a $500 processing fee.


Yeah - THAT I'd heard about.

So much for romance, eh?

Should I also be carrying around my health records - immunizations, STD test results...what else am I missing? Proof of my vasectomy?


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> So - has been a while since I've dated - but is there some sort of formal application process I need to know about?


Not formal at all. Just bring a notarized copy of your college diploma, and W2's for the last five years on your first date. When you mention that the BMW or Acura TL is in the shop, make sure you know where the dealership really is. Newbies trip up over this one all the time.


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Halien said:


> In 2006, the NYT did an interesting piece called "Facing Middle Age With No Degree, and No Wife", which stated that 18% of men from ages 40 to 44, with no college degree, have never married.


But odds are, they are elite raiders in World of Warcraft, or top tier competitors on X-Box Live.


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

nice777guy said:


> So - has been a while since I've dated - but is there some sort of formal application process I need to know about?


Pimp hat ...
You must have one of these.
Velvet is timeless. And you need a feather. A BIG one.
Pomade for your hair ... and a bottle of Courvoisier.

Marriage?

I seriously doubt that I will take that step again. I just don't see an up-side.

I will openly admit were I to do so, finances would be a huge part of it. I would NOT marry someone that couldn't financially bring something to the table.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Deejo said:


> But odds are, they are elite raiders in World of Warcraft, or top tier competitors on X-Box Live.


Dude, that would be so totally awesome!!


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Deejo said:


> But odds are, they are elite raiders in World of Warcraft, or top tier competitors on X-Box Live.


I wondered, but you know how the NYT is. In the photos, one of the guys is sitting in a small, eclectic studio apartment, playing the folk guitar. After spending paragraphs talking about specific good guys who never married, the author slides in the fact that one of the guys admittedly had issues of infidelity in his previous relationships. Still, the stats were pretty impressive.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Deejo said:


> But odds are, they are elite raiders in World of Warcraft, or top tier competitors on X-Box Live.


Funny though - how many times I've read around here about EAs going on through World of Warcraft - both men and women.

I just don't get it...maybe I need to check it out?!?!?


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Insert barely concealed cynical comment here.


----------



## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Also a persons height is an advantage to higher salaries.

http://faculty.washington.edu/mdj3/MGMT580/Readings/Week 1/Judge.pdf


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Deejo said:


> Pimp hat ...
> You must have one of these.
> Velvet is timeless. And you need a feather. A BIG one.
> Pomade for your hair ... and a bottle of Courvoisier.
> ...


A long time joke with my wife is how she 'grabbed me up' in life before I had the chance to complete my collection of velvet Elvis posters. I'm just kidding, but the point is that my wife is the one who brought real, cultural taste into the relationship.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

This is me said:


> Also a persons height is an advantage to higher salaries.
> 
> http://faculty.washington.edu/mdj3/MGMT580/Readings/Week 1/Judge.pdf


Sounds like I need to buy a pair of expensive heels...


----------



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> So - has been a while since I've dated - but is there some sort of formal application process I need to know about?


We've run a Dunn and Bradstreet on you and also know your FICO score.


----------



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> We've run a Dunn and Bradstreet on you and also know your FICO score.


Would you mind forwarding that onto me? I might be hitting "the bars" later! Thanks!

:smthumbup:


----------



## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

My brother is a monied lawyer who is unhappily single and childless at 42.

He can only meet attractive gold diggers, who are too good to lift a finger around the home. He is also a mama's boy.

I believe that most women want a man that is financially secure, which is why hideous Donald Trump has young women after him.

While it saddens me that we will always rent and never own, I am not the kind of woman who will push her husband into an early grave with overwork. 

My brother in law is married to a very materialistic woman. She started demanding a bigger house right after they had their first child.  As if a new baby and wife on mat leave is not enough of a financial strain! My poor BIL looks very thin and tired all the time. His wife actually *lied *about the bigger house they were buying, soon after she insulted us for living in an apartment :rofl: When I finally met her, she moaned about not having the money to upgrade. 

My in laws neighbour also sneered at us for renting. Her husband had a nervous breakdown from working too many hours. This lady demands that he pay for EXPENSIVE dance lessons and costumes for their two daughters. 

Are material things worth having a burnt out husband? I think not. I am learning to be grateful for what I do have, instead of weeping about not being able to afford a real wedding or a condo. My otherwise happy marriage is priceless.


----------



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> Would you mind forwarding that onto me? I might be hitting "the bars" later! Thanks!
> 
> :smthumbup:


You don't have enough assets and your FICO score is 570. Rely on your wit and charm and of course your vaccuming talents.


----------



## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

What they'll do is marry a guy with money, and have an affair with the guy that doesn't.


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I have two college degrees. Now, while I do expect that whoever my next husband may be will be financially secure, I do not expect him to be rich. Just secure. Sorry, if that sounds like I am gold-digging but I've been through poverty. I've been literally homeless without a dime to my name. I dug myself out. I went to school and earned my degrees. I'm better now and I will expect that whoever I end up with to have financial responsibility. 
I hope nobody sees that as being a "gold-digger". I see it as knowing what I want and I don't see anything wrong with wanting someone who knows how to make good financial decisions in life.


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Dexter Morgan said:


> What they'll do is marry a guy with money, and have an affair with the guy that doesn't.


LOL!


----------



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

*Dean* said:


> Good Girl!
> 
> They are out there. I work with some.
> Even play golf with a single Neurosurgeon in his 40's.


Hey, give him my number would ya


----------



## 4waysplit (Dec 22, 2011)

Fianancial independance and career drive were attractive qualities to me - i grew up watching my parents taking the long hard path to careers and financial stability which they inevitably achieved. Now i have the husband with the job and the salary i seldom see him and he keeps his money to himself i have no access while i struggle through college truth be told i wish i had thought more deeply about the drive and determination i truly desired in a man. personally i would take the world of warcraft junkie living with his parents so long as he made me laugh


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I'll have to settle for fit.

We were already in financial dire straits when the sh!t hit the fan.

Been paycheck to paycheck for the last 3 years and imagine it will be so, for several more while I continue to clean up the financial wreckage.

Divorce is financial suicide, unless of course, you ARE rich. Then you will simply be less rich.

But yes ... I am waiting on my fit, rich, sugar-mama.


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Trenton said:


> As for rich....well, it might be my biggest bias. I get that everyone has the right to attain insurmountable fortune but in my mind, if you're rich you're doing something wrong. I know, I'm backwards but maybe, just maybe, I'm onto something and your articles have what people think they want but not what they really need.


Alas, you've just described the downfall of my relationship with my older brother. He's even honest enough to tell me that he can no longer be close to me because his political views lend themselves to a strong dislike for people who are successful financially. Not that I'm rich, but its just that he always assumed that with his types of degrees, he would always be a bigger breadwinner. Can't tell you how much it hurts to know that he dislikes me, his brother, because I work for a corporation.

I will be honest and admit that I share some of your concerns about the ramifications of articles like this. Especially since divorce has been a real possibility. I've learned to really prefer a very simple life. If I can help others, and make a difference, this excites me more than nice homes, cars, and stuff. My new, fancy LED TV was the first television that wasn't given to me by a friend who 'was worried about me'. My wife and I get invited to the homes of my employees alot. Its like stepping into a different world. 5,000 sq foot homes in upscale communities. My pickup, especially with the recent underbody coating to cover up the rust from salt and snow, doesn't exactly blend. Really, if I did end up in a divorce, how would a dating profile look if it said "must be willing to live a simple life"? 

I'm not Silas Marner, though. People describe our house as elegant up to the point where they realize that they need to bring a chair if they plan to sit down, because we don't keep anything that isn't needed on a daily basis.


----------



## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

Halien said:


> I've learned to really prefer a very simple life. .


Secret to being rich? spend less than you make. You are lightyears ahead of most Americans.


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I Know said:


> Secret to being rich? spend less than you make. You are lightyears ahead of most Americans.


There is another sentence similar to this," You are rich if you make more than you spend!"

We can strive for having a happy life, but if we are not happy all the time, it's not surprising at all. Life is always changing, everything is fine today, doesn't mean tomorrow is the same. 

What I have learned now is to be responsible for what I can control. Avoid as much trouble as I can, try to make my day and time less eventful. 

First, do our best to have good health. Eat healthy foods, stay away from junk food. Live a clean life, no drugs, no smoking, no drinking, no bad habits. There is another way to have good health, it is related to being happy. When we have joy and peace in our heart, we tend to be healthy. That means I have to do my best to stop the negative traits humans usually have, for example, being angry, jealous, insecure, etc.

Second, be responsible for our finance. I do agree that after you get married, you tend to have more money. I think your responsibility of supporting a family makes you work harder and want to earn more. My husband was happy making just enough for himself to spend when he was single. He didn't have any ambition to make more. But after he got married, he knows he has the responsibility to provide us a secure life, he wants to take more hours, he wants to improve his skills. But no matter how much money we make, we have to be responsible for our spending. We have a monthly budget, and we stick to it. If we make more money, it only means we have more money to put away. If we make less money, we stop the unnecessary spending first, like eating out or coffee shops. Two of us work, right now our budget is my salary, so we have a lot of room to maneuver. We are not envious of people who live a rich life style. We make our life as simple as we can. 

Third, as the talk described, forget yourself and think more about others. Sometimes I feel that I am the giver in my family, it's not fair, but I am happy that I have the ability to give. I am there for them when they need help, emotionally or financially. In order to be able to help, I have to do my best to maintain my organized life. I can't do anything to ruin it. It reminds me that if I am not cautious with my life, I can become like them. 



I can't say that I am happy all the time. I am doing my best to avoid problems and stress in life!


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Trenton said:


> For beauty and elegance there is nature and it's far superior to anything man made. For me it's about time well spent and in great company. That's just what makes me happy.


I agree.


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Trenton said:


> It's not a political stance or anything like that. I believe people must choose. I'd never say the government should choose for you...oh the corruption that causes.
> 
> It's just that I don't see the point in keeping it considering you can't take it with you and with so many so desperate and so many inequalities it just seems illogical to not give and live within reason. Why oh why would I want a five bedroom home with four tv's when I have absolutely no reason for them? I don't understand it.
> 
> For beauty and elegance there is nature and it's far superior to anything man made. For me it's about time well spent and in great company. That's just what makes me happy. I get that others will have other ideas of happiness but when we equate value with how much wealth one has we do an injustice to the person and if we equate value with how much we have we do an even bigger injustice to ourselves.


I realized after posting that my way of replying could've been taken as implying that your views were politically motivated, which is not what I meant, so sorry. What I was referring to was an initial gut-reaction we all have when we think of income levels. Some are politically aligned reactions, some are based on social impact, and sadly, some may even be marriage potential. In so many ways, I make similar assumptions, and for this reason, I work in a division that places promotion preferences on people who can demonstrate social impact within our internal resume. Where we are all expected to be connected to outside charities and programs. Don't get me wrong - I do have some pretty selfish plans for retirement, too. Part of it includes me, a beach ... well, that's about it, but notice that I didn't say bills, rent, or house payments, if you get my drift.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Money can't buy love but love can't buy government insured CD's either. Of course income increases your chance of getting married. Beyond that though the probability of driving that tractor into the ditch is exactly the same. 

Marriage is like angina. It's not pain, it's the fear of pain. Marriages don't fail because of money they fail because of the horrid things people do because of money. For instance my wife who is infinitely capable of having a career or just a job, does not. But that's never stopped her from obsessively complaining about money. It's not 'about' money. It's about vanity and power and self regard.


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> It's not 'about' money. It's about vanity and power and self regard.


This usually happens to people who are not confident of themselves and people who constantly want to attract other people's attention. They are usually stressed and miserable. The stuff they have can only make them feel good for a short while, then they need more things to make them feel good in front of others.


----------



## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

There is nothing surprising about the correlation between education levels, income and likelihood of marriage. Quite simply put, if you have more resources to offer, the more interest you are going to get from prospective mates. More interest from more prospective partners should result in a higher likelihood of marriage even if all other factors stay unchanged.

What is a pet peeve of mine is that it's apparently politically incorrect for people, *especially* women, to acknowledge that they are interested how much income or wealth a prospective partner has, and that they prefer partners with more/higher.

It's nothing new under the sun, and surely has a lot of evolutionary biology-type stuff behind it, but it seems to be a rare women who would admit it publicly. I remember having a discussion many years ago with my (now, thankfully, ex-) wife about this and should would say "OH NO! money doesn't matter to me" followed up by (in response to my probing questions) "Oh I would never be with a man who didn't have lots of ambition/good job/couldn't provide because that doesn't interest me... but it has NOTHING to do with money, I swear!" I would talk her through this circle a few times and eventually walk away shaking my head. I have had similar conversations with other married women. 

I've also had a couple frank, more unguarded, discussions with women where they admitted "yeah, it matters. It's not everything, but if they can bring a lot more (material comfort/security/lifestyle) to the table, it makes them more attractive to me."

Finally, I have my own observations from my excursion into dating in my 40's (after 20 years of being off the market). For a while, I did a lot of dating of women around my age or even up to 10 year older. Most of it was from online sites (or referrals) and I made a point to NOT indicate my income or imply wealth one way or another, other than to say that I was 'a professional'. Often, there wouldn't be anything about the first date, or our correspondence up to then, that would indicate that in the last few years that while not 'wealthy', I've been decently in the top 5% of US income earners (split point is $159,619). I made it a point when dating to be quiet and modest about my economic situation. (It's not like I was rolling in it - the first three years of my divorce cost me almost $250k in a front loaded settlement).

However, often on the the second date (or soon thereafter) I would pick her up rather than meet at a public place, and that usually meant my date seeing that I own a high-end late-model German luxury car. A little more than half the time, I would notice a definite reaction by my dates to their mode of transportation, and a sudden uptick in questions and conversation designed to run a sort of background/credit check on me. I would always be honest but not showy in my replies. There also seemed to be a correlation with these conversations and a shift from being the 'pursuer' to the 'pursued'. 

From my personal experiences, and listening carefully to the women I dated, it was pretty clear that being economically successful was helping me be successful with them. Would I say it was the only thing, or the main thing that made me successful at dating? NO, not at all - I have got several things going for me, and have been on one hell of a self-improvement path since my ex- threw away our marriage - but it (money/income), and the things associated with it, was still significant in seeing a level of success with the ladies that my teenage self would have declared "unpossible".

While it may be "unromantic" and "un-pc" to say that money matters, how is that much different than saying that appearance and beauty matters (especially to men)? We want what we want, and generally want to attract the best mate/partner we can get. We've evolved to be competitive at mating, and while I am sure there are individual exceptions, at the larger level statistically that's how we are. It would be nice if we just could be a little more honest about it.


----------



## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

My OH has what would be called a working-class job. Very physical and relatively low-paid for a full-time job.

I remember before we started dating, chatting to him about work. I remember being impressed at him doing such a physical job, long hours and overtime. Sounds mad? I don't know. My dad was very working-class and he had a VERY strong work-ethic. He was very vocal about doing an honest day's work, no matter what the job.

I think this is where I have my feelings from. My OH has said that he worries that I might want to find someone with a better job (ie who earns more money) and can give me the things that *we* don't have. That he feels a failure because we can't yet afford our own house, nice holidays, a nice car, etc.

I have never thought of that. To me, whilst I can honestly say I never "screened" him by way of his career choice and salary, I did look for other qualities. His dedication to his job: I wanted someone who stuck at a job. A full-time one preferably. Someone that was reasonably careful with their money. Would go out and do overtime or find extra work if times were tough. THOSE qualities are the ones I value.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I Know said:


> Secret to being rich? spend less than you make. You are lightyears ahead of most Americans.


This is how me & mine have always lived, and neither of us has ever had what would be called high paying jobs. He is just a blue collar worker that earns way below 6 figures. And I am just a wife who watches every penny to make sure it gets spent well & we get a return If & when possible , he lets me manage every dime. 

I have not read all of the replies on here , but I think I am backwards too..... being financially RICH holds very little appeal to me, I feel you would have more friends than you accually need.....Plus I feel we would both we working so hard we would have no time for each other ...(I would hate that!). I know people like this, even though their houses, how they decorate & furniture could be a page ripped from a "House Beautiful" magazine, they have very little time to enjoy any of it . 

Because we have always lived well within our means, we have managed to become debt free before we had our last child. None of us are hurting, we could go out & pay cash for a brand new 2011 mini van if we wanted , but would we ....never..... as that would be a horrible waste of money, our newest vehicle is a 1997 Suburban. We wouldn't have it any other way. 

When I was younger, I used to think marrying a Farmer would be the perfect life for me, all I cared about was living in the country & having a family....and I don't mind working hard. I love cows, green pastures, trees, streams & barns full of hay, I grew up near a horse ranch with their daughter being a good friend, loved that life... playing in the barn, hiding in those bales of hay, swimming in the creek, cupping our hands to drink freezing cold water from a nearby spring ...that is being "rich" for me. 

I didn't end up with the farmer, but I did marry a Dairy Manager with the same type of dreams, his income was sourly lacking but his work ethic highly impressive, he was also a saver like me, so we set out to make all of our dreams come true. 

We got a little carried away being Cheap over the years, like skipping out on our own HoneyMoon (boy that was stupid) -though we went above & beyond for our Wedding & Reception- guess it just depended on how important something was, I wouldn't buy a box of cereal over a $1.50 but I would think nothing of plunking down $800 on a Canon SLR. 

We had the money for near anything we wanted to do but restrained ourselves at every turn -we were hell bound & determined to put a huge lump sum down on our country home when we found it - and that is exactly what we did 6yrs into our marraige , then cut our loan in half paying it off 7 yrs later. 

I am more lenient with our $$ today, it is like a taste of freedom to be debt free. 

I would care more about how responsible someone is with money -more than his net worth or current career. Can he live within his means & still acheive his life goals --as this is worth Gold - to me. 

Or is he scraping, complaining , borrowing -alot of talk about dreams but no discipline behind the talk, while he grows old trying to win the lottery.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

When life gives you lemons, punch it in the face until it gives up.


----------

