# Chat Room Games, that Lead to distruction..



## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

As I have read some of the post on internet issues, I see that alot of the problems have been from one or both spending to much time in the computer world...

For me it was a game called Yoville...It was alot of fun...I wish I could still play, but I know I can't...

This game is in real time and you can chat openly with other players..You can make it as private as you want...

This makes me want to see what game or site it was that caused you, your heartbreak.


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## momentary lapse (Aug 21, 2009)

I've been a lurker here for a while....your post really made me want to comment.....


For me it was Facebook. And it was me that got stupidly sucked in. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I should have known better.


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

momentary lapse said:


> I've been a lurker here for a while....your post really made me want to comment.....
> 
> 
> For me it was Facebook. And it was me that got stupidly sucked in. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I should have known better.


We all know better, but we are human...Are you ok now? Someday they will have support groups for people like us...and even if I'm kidding right now...I think people need it...I left My Space, Facebook, and all the others...I only go to Newsvine and this page...I've worked hard at leaving the computer world behind me...
As you know, it's hard...the computer world is awesome!


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

my wife is addicted to Wizard101 and Vampire wars on facebook

As long as it doesn't run her life I am fine with it, we all ahve our own laptops.

You need to set times up to do things around the house outside etc. But also give yourself a hour or two playing your games.

I tell my wife when she is getting out of control to real it in.

she has gotten better.

Yoville, isn't that on facebook as well?


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

GAsoccerman said:


> my wife is addicted to Wizard101 and Vampire wars on facebook
> 
> As long as it doesn't run her life I am fine with it, we all ahve our own laptops.
> 
> ...


 Yes it is...


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## momentary lapse (Aug 21, 2009)

Justawife said:


> We all know better, but we are human...Are you ok now? Someday they will have support groups for people like us...and even if I'm kidding right now...I think people need it...I left My Space, Facebook, and all the others...I only go to Newsvine and this page...I've worked hard at leaving the computer world behind me...
> As you know, it's hard...the computer world is awesome!


Amen, Sistah!!! I feel like I want everyone to know how easy it is to get sucked in....even if you think you can't....

I'm working on my issues~~I started another thread on this here if you're interested....

Thanks for the support!


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## ianpet07 (Aug 1, 2009)

My wife was on Bebo, Tagged, Second Life, IMVU. She collected 35 young lads and ended up having sex on webcam with a load of them. She's 41 but told them all she was 29.


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

ianpet07 said:


> My wife was on Bebo, Tagged, Second Life, IMVU. She collected 35 young lads and ended up having sex on webcam with a load of them. She's 41 but told them all she was 29.


 WOW!...I'm sorry to hear that...I hope all is well with you..


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

my buggaboo is sports on TV, especially foorball. My wife is on the computer for 2/3s of her day and i have no idea what she is doing. it actually helps keep the peace.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Justawife said:


> As I have read some of the post on internet issues, I see that alot of the problems have been from one or both spending to much time in the computer world...
> 
> For me it was a game called Yoville...It was alot of fun...I wish I could still play, but I know I can't...
> 
> ...


OMG! I had a meltdown over this same issue, this same game!!! To give you some quick background H cheated on me and D-Day was a year ago. Had nothing to do with virtual games this was the real thing she lived down the street. So that's over we are recovering and I introduced H to this game. He was in one of the public areas and chatting with a lot of people. He's pretty funny so he made a lot of people laugh and had a good time with this. He didn't spend too much time there, far less than me. 

But to build his crew, he would allow people to add him as a friend or he would add them. One girl had 300+ contacts and she really knew how to play. I didn't have a problem with him adding buddies but when you add people as a friend, they post their picture they are real people.

You can read messages people leave your crew by going to their profile so when I saw he had a stranger added I did that (keep in mind I wouldn't have done that but he cheated before..) and he was flirting with her. She lives across the country so he felt it ok because this was an "avatar not really me" and she lived across the country. It wasn't explicit sexually but it was definately flirty and he would write "disappointed you weren't online last night".. and stuff like that. 

When I found out, he was out of town and out of cell range doing a job in a rural area I could not confront him. I wrote to her and told her to stay the hell away from my H (probably very immature but it made me feel better) and texted him something pretty awful. Finally I remembered he gave me an emergency number, a landline I could use. So I called it at 1:30am and he was not even awake and I launched in to him. He was so confused and finally figured it out and calmed me down. 

As I look back now, I totally overreacted. Something that I could have cared less about if he'd never had an affair. So I sat and thought about it and realized why I was so upset. When his EA began (which turned physical) I KNEW it and I buried my head in the sand until I couldn't stand it and confronted him and he denied it and I keep thinking that I was such a wuss for letting him make a fool out of me for about 8 months! And I would never let that happen again.

He said that made a lot of sense he completely apologized and stopped playing any games at all. I even told him that I overreacted and it was fine but he won't do it, he said that it was not worth his marriage. I feel guilty, I still play! I don't chat though, never was my thing except to my friends. We have a lot of fun with this..


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## Gomez (Jun 5, 2009)

I got too caught up in Final Fantasy 11, a game just like World of Warcraft. At first my wife and I took turns playing it, then we got a second computer so we could both play together. I took a bad attitude with her when we played together and eventually she stopped playing with me, and then I played more by myself. I started ignoring her for the game, staying home while she went out, playing all day and getting irritated when she inturrupted me. I was not a good guy. Eventually I think this directly led to her starting an EA with a friend and I even let her go out alone with him the one time and she kissed him, although I didn't find out till much later, I felt it in my gut and stopped playing the game. I started getting back into my wifes life and we turned it around, but I still dont feel I can play the game and still be under control. Funny but this site is like my methadone for the FFXI game. Its much easier to put down for a while and come back to. I absolutely think these games can become the sourse for problems in a relationship, not just because they connect you with new people but also because they distract you from the people you already know, sometimes critically. I stll want to play . . .


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Justawife said:


> As I have read some of the post on internet issues, I see that alot of the problems have been from one or both spending to much time in the computer world...
> 
> For me it was a game called Yoville...It was alot of fun...I wish I could still play, but I know I can't...
> 
> ...




For me.. it was a major dating site that caused me heartbreak...
because I was not aware of certain things like what photoshop was...

and how average weight to some people meant 300 pounds...

or how so many married people on the sites. People with all kinds of diseases, and STD's too looking for casual sex. There are even child molesters on those sites looking to hook up with women to get to their kids ! yikes...
so many bad things to find there...

It was a horrifing thing to learn about but thankfully ... I knew someone I trusted who knew about them and avoided making some bad mistakes and maybe even getting sick or hurt. 
I believe one day they will have support groups for people with web 
trauma.
There are bad places to be all over it....


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## carmaenforcer (Mar 7, 2008)

For me it was *Facebook* that caused me some heart ache.

My Wife opened her Facebook account in March, supposedly to keep in touch with a "girl friend" that she rarely got to see in person but that was on there all the time.

A few weeks ago my Wife calls me in the morning before noon (lunch time) to tell me that she want's to close her Facebook account, to which I answered "do what you want, it's your account" I thought it strange to just wake up one day and want to close your social networking page, so I asked "why she felt the need to close it?" to which she replied, well that friend never makes an effort to hang out so she's done with her.
Still didn't sound right, but I accepted it and went on.

We haven't had sex since about three months ago, because she was mad at me for smoking pot behind her back and she just wasn't ready to be intimate with me because she hasn't gotten over what a horrible thing I had done to her.

So the other day I got suspicious that she (My Wife) might just be acting shady for her own reasons and trying to use my pot smoking as a reason to do her shady stuff. She has cheated on me before after all, so I know she has it in her.
I know her passwords or what they might be and I got into her Facebook and reactivated it. When I did I noticed that she had added this one guy from her work that is the owners son and thinks he's the sh_t and tries to get the women on his jock. I had previously made it very clear that I didn't like that guy and didn't want her to have anything to do with him outside of work. Yet she added him to her Facebook and to to it all of the only pictures that she had saved on her profile was of this other guy that actually tried to get at her when she first got this job and before we got married, buying her breakfast all the time and bringing her coffee and deserts during the day. 
No pictures of me or of our son or anything, but a picture of her and this guy at a company outing that they had.

I confronted her this morning and she tried to lie her way out of it saying that her boss wanted everyone to have a Facebook account because her company had one, but she never added the company facebook to her network, just this guys personal page. Hmmmm. Plus remember that her original story was that she wanted to open a Facebook to keep in touch with her girlfriend. 

LIAR!!!

Anyway, I knocked her off of her pedestal that she was on raining judgment on me for my flaws.

No more social networking sites for this girl, at least till we break up that is.


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

AZMOMOFTWO said:


> OMG! I had a meltdown over this same issue, this same game!!! To give you some quick background H cheated on me and D-Day was a year ago. Had nothing to do with virtual games this was the real thing she lived down the street. So that's over we are recovering and I introduced H to this game. He was in one of the public areas and chatting with a lot of people. He's pretty funny so he made a lot of people laugh and had a good time with this. He didn't spend too much time there, far less than me.
> 
> But to build his crew, he would allow people to add him as a friend or he would add them. One girl had 300+ contacts and she really knew how to play. I didn't have a problem with him adding buddies but when you add people as a friend, they post their picture they are real people.
> 
> ...


I wish I could play this game by myself.. No one else just me and my cat...lol

The game is fun...it's the people you run into...it's been 4 months and I wish I could play, but not really...

I guess what I'm saying is that I would like to play the game...it was fun for me, but I know that it over takes me and I can't...and that makes me feel great...
Great because I have excepted that YoVille is not for me...
I take to much to heart and I feel to much for other peoples stories, and that gets me in trouble....


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

Lostandconfused said:


> It's been a week and a day since I've played [the game]. One of the hardest weeks of my life. I didn't realize how addicted I truly was. Fortunately, when I quit there was no EA involved as it was already well in the past. For me, it was the game, the strategy, the next piece of gear, the next zone, the next ....
> 
> I was and am still addicted. I will never be able to casually play this type of game. I'm aware of that now. It was one of the most "fun" things I've done as it involved my brain in ways I never expected. Defeat. Triumph. Greed. Scheming. Friendships. Drama. All of the real life emotions that we crave are in [the game] *except* it's NOT real.
> 
> ...


 
It get easier...but it stays with you...My H would think I'm crazy, but it is very hard to turn away from something that makes you so happy...good or bad...and when you have a really bad day...well it comes to mind how nice it would be to exscape for awhile...and like you, I will never be able to play those games again...Silly isn't it...I have lso kept in mind like all addicts (lack of a better word) I have to be careful not to trade one for the other....


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## Justawife (Aug 14, 2009)

Your feeling it for sure...find something else to do...I post blogs 
now...and I have made a few friends on thier also...but, it's not in real time, so it's less likely to become a problem...I have had a few guys try and use a line on me and I just leave the conversation and they go away...and I told my hubby about it as soon as t happened...I know he can see it, but I wanted to tell him that I handled it on my own...
Don't worry about what's changing...just forget it....I did the same thing the first time I sopped...Yes I said the first time...They had just added Pets...and I had the cash...I wanted to buy my little dog so bad...
I went back on got a cat and a dog and then trouble again....so Please, if you really want to stop don't go back...you think it will be different, but it never really is....you will go right back to the same habbits...

It sucks...and I still hate that I can't do it...but for my own sanity...not to mention my H's I just cant play it....I'll be your support if you need it....
What happened to you on this game...? You can email me if you wish...


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## tornbetweenthemboth (Oct 21, 2009)

Wow u guys hit a nerve....our destruction was IMVU....if ur married stay away....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

I had a friend who is a Girl, a Woman, and she is close to 50, near my age. She was always wanting me to hang out and chat with her on IMVU, and when i was there I thought "This is so JUVENILE"...It's the same thought that hits me when watching football, and that animated droid football dude appears between plays, jumping up and down. I think, who was THAT for, the adolescent/teen viewers? Really? I guess I never did 'get' IMVU like my friend did.


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

What is ImVU?


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## TiredAndBroken (Oct 21, 2012)

My DW plays [email protected] Empires and Kingdoms of [email protected] on the Ipad all day everyday. She goes on there and says flirty things to other men. She doesn't think I know, but, I do. I don't get home much, and you would think she could put it down, when I'm home but, no. 
I checked it out to see what it was like, and bam, she was talking smack right in the chat. These two games led to an app called Touch. Nothing but, a sex app. You can send pictures, video, and audio messages. She deleted that, and doesn't use it, but I still think she made a fake name.


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## fishfast41 (Dec 12, 2010)

I've posted this before, and I'll post it again.. Social networking websites are absolute poison for a marriage! They are nothing but online singles bars. Stay off of them yourself, and if your spouse is on one, get them off !


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## Goodwife6 (Oct 24, 2012)

Justawife said:


> We all know better, but we are human...Are you ok now? Someday they will have support groups for people like us...and even if I'm kidding right now...I think people need it...I left My Space, Facebook, and all the others...I only go to Newsvine and this page...I've worked hard at leaving the computer world behind me...
> As you know, it's hard...the computer world is awesome!


The computer world isn't awesome. It's easy, addictive and does lead to destruction. I shouldn't even have an account on this site but I thought I might get help here. I didn't. What I got was a bunch of moralistic morons copy and pasting long winded text of how I and everyone in the world SHOULD be. The internet sucks out your brain and spits it out after it has downloaded your reasoning. I'm tired.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

My theory: these places give lifelong introverts the opportunity to be more outgoing and they don't have the skill set to deal with the new found attention they get in return. so they take it way too far.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

You just described my spouse in a nutshell--- nor the skill set to be outgoing in RL. I think Sigma (who had a online EA) described it and I'm paraphrasing it, "treated it like a video game.... that in real life I would have run screaming like a girl if a woman had come on so strong in real life. " 


<---my spouse is the same way yet I won't make the mistake again that I did prior, which was thinking he was so _shy_ that he would never aggressively pursue someone....because he damn sure did and seemingly without a problem doing it at all....


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

Goodwife6 said:


> The computer world isn't awesome. It's easy, addictive and does lead to destruction. I shouldn't even have an account on this site but I thought I might get help here. I didn't. What I got was a bunch of moralistic morons copy and pasting long winded text of how I and everyone in the world SHOULD be. The internet sucks out your brain and spits it out after it has downloaded your reasoning. I'm tired.


What you got was good, tested, proven advice that didn't jive with what you want. And because of that you've now got a sanctimonious attitude to go along with a hilarious username. 

I've heard about your thread and although I didn't have the opportunity to read all of it, based on your comments and those of others I've got an annoying bee for your bonnet. You say you want advice and help, but the problem is you're looking for validation for what you're already doing, and that's simply not the same thing. 

You're having difficulties properly classifying things. Even when you call these people "morons" all you really mean is "people who disagree with my choices." So your terms are not matching the appropriate definitions.


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