# Is seperation the answer?



## jessica123 (Jul 29, 2008)

HI
I have only just found this site and i'm so glad i did, i really need to talk to someone without judgement as they know my husband and i.

Let me tell you my back ground.

I met my husband when i was 19, i fancied him straight away, we hit it off, within 1 month i was pregnant, we got married 6 months later.
12 years down the line we have 6 children!

6 years ago my husband had an affair with our 17 year old babysitter, i found out and hit the roof, but i forgave him.
We moved away and started again, having 2 more children.

Evrything was perfect.
But then i turned 30!!
i was very depressed about my size having gone up from a uk 10 when we met to a 22!!
i decided to do something about it and lost 4 1/2 stone going down to a uk 14.
I got alot more confidence and remembered what it was like to be me!!

My husband and i had always had a great sex life and got on very well i thought he was my soulmate.

I thought after i had lost the weight he would fancy me more as i looked more like i used too! but NO he stopped wanting sex, he didn't show me any attention he made me feel as sexy as a lump of lard!
i tried everything i could think of, but a woman can only take so many knock backs!!

When i went out with my friends i started to get attention from men and it made me feel great.

This 1 man caught my eye and i started seeing him, wrong i know but i need some attention.
He made me feel me!!

This was 18 months ago, and my husband is still like this!
It has made me stop loving him. i do love him but i'm not in love with him anymore.
I do still see this guy and i think i am falling for him and i can't stop it!

i don't know what to do!!

Do i stay in a marriage without love and affection or do we go our seperate ways now?

i have tried to talk to him and he doesn't know why he is like this but that doesn't help me!

advice please
xx


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

if you do decide to stay with him let me tell you its painful-for a long time. my husband is not really attracted to me either. its getting better but it was really bad for awhile. anyway the point is if you decide to stay you have to decide not to run into someone else's arms every time things get hard. its likely your husband will not change for a long time and it'll take a lot of work on both your parts, but if you go outside your marriage for the support, it can never work. 

if you decide your not up for the painful ride, then it is best to go your separate ways before things get ugly.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

if your seeing this bloke , but your still married , then i think your confusing yourself even more. 
either get rid of hubby or the affair.
but my point , you keep the affair going, but you know the grass really isnt greener.
if your falling for the bloke, which im not sure u really have. you would have known your feelings along time ago. 
then you need to set yourself free from your marriage and live a happy life.
i can only wonder why you have not left your hubby sooner, as you have been seeing your bloke for a while.

you just want both pieces of the pie and thats selfish.


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