# Tiredness and sex.



## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

Hi All, this is my first post and I have a question. I’m 49 years old married 22 years. The last 10 years our sex lice has been dull to say the least but 3 months ago I thought my wife had been unfaithful to me and I blew up at her and told her to leave, later that night I talked to her and when asked if she had she said - don’t be ridiculous I would never do that and I believed her. 

Suddenly our sex life springs in to life and we start having passionate sex sometimes at 5am sometimes at 6am and sometimes bed time. When I say passionate wow 🤩 the kissing is insane.

It has been amazing up until this week.
This week she came back from 2 weeks visiting her mum in Greece where we called each other 3 times a day. While she was in Greece I was very anxious as to whether she would meet with the Mersin I had thought she had been unfaithful with and was monitoring her what’s app presence all the time in a bid to understand her movements. The stress and anxiety drive me crazy. The main reason I was doing this is because she is still in contact with the guy I suspected on messenger and she deletes the messages after reading. This lead to more suspicion on my part because I couldn’t understand her deleting their messages if there was nothing to hide. At one point he sent her a love song that I spotted on another logged in device so I called her and said “what on earth is he doing sending you bloody loves songs !! Is he flirting or after you “ ? She replied that it’s probably just a song he likes and shared it - naive in my opinion but she hadn’t relied or solicited this so I let it go as she hadn’t done anything wrong.

The day she came home I dressed up to collect her in the spirit of romance, we were the only 59 year old couple French kissing in arrivals, the night she came home she hadn’t slept for 24 hrs but still she began sex with me but soon after asked if we could sleep instead to which I relied - of course.
I stayed awake anxious as to why she didn’t want me after 2 weeks away and didn’t sleep at all. At about 0400 she woke and wanted to finish what we started but I could not get an erection. I was anxious and now sleepless.

After I couldn’t get it up I remained awake stressing as to why I couldn’t get it up so a full sleepless night.

The following night I couldn’t sleep again, this time anticipating sex kept me up, she tends to wake me at 0500 for sex setting a precedent, when it happened again in the small hours - I couldn’t get an erection again despite the passion. Again I didn’t sleep worrying about it.

Last night I began sleeping at 2400 hrs, at 0300 she woke me for sex and yet again the same happened and I couldn’t sleep - now 3 night with little or no sleep plus the worry of the lack of erection. She woke at 0700 and tried again - and again no erection. Now I’m worried about ED but I’m also thinking that lack of sleep could be the root cause las well as stressing over whether or not she would want to have sex.

I’d like educated opinions as to whether or not I have ED or could lack of sleep and stress be the real issue here ? I sincerely hope it’s lack of sleep.

Tonight I think I’ll prioritise sleep and see if matters improve the next time.

Now another issue might be to do with excessive masturbation. Since we have different drives I have masturbated 4 or 5 times a day for the past 3 months and maybe I have drained my self doing this too. She looks so hot to me I wanted sex every day but she didn’t. I resorted to self pleasure as a way of releife.

I feel so so worried that I can’t give my wife pleasure in penetrative sex. I have never had an issue before now.

may gut tells me the lack of sleep and stress is causing it and every night Ifind myself not able to sleep in anticipation of my sexy beautiful wife but it doesn’t help matters with my erection.

In addition to the above I’ve been home looking after 2 kids, full time job and dog which has also made me tired.

please god it’s not permanent

anyone have any experience of this ?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Your gut is telling you that your wife cheated. Trust your gut.


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

Andy1001 said:


> Your gut is telling you that your wife cheated. Trust your gut.


no she didn’t, I know my wife inside out, she hasn’t cheated and I Believe that 100%

this is not in question on this post. The question is about lack of erection and lack of sleep. I had no issue beforeshe went to Greece to see her mum. She had no opportunity and didn’t do anything like that when there as we spoke all the time and I knew where she was all the time.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Ron1022 said:


> no she didn’t, I know my wife inside out, she hasn’t cheated and I Believe that 100%
> 
> this is not in question on this post. The question is about lack of erection and lack of sleep. I had no issue beforeshe went to Greece to see her mum. She had no opportunity and didn’t do anything like that when there as we spoke all the time and I knew where she was all the time.


If there was no chance that she cheated, and I want that to be the case, you went two weeks without sex. That's going to affect your performance. 
I suggest that you worry less about yourself, because it will come back as you prod yourself and just concentrate on the wife, to ensure that she has orgasms and relax.
Somebody suggested St. John's Wort, so you might try that.


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> If there was no chance that she cheated, and I want that to be the case, you went two weeks without sex. That's going to affect your performance.
> I suggest that you worry less about yourself, because it will come back as you prod yourself and just concentrate on the wife, to ensure that she has orgasms and relax.
> Somebody suggested St. John's Wort, so you might try that.


thank you. The wife said today that she didn’t want pleasure unless I had it too. She has been superb about this and gave me lots of sexy cuddles and hugs when it happened again this morning.

So she won’t let me go down on her unless I get erect and can achieve sex.

St. John’s wort is an anti depression thing - are you sure ?


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Ron1022 said:


> thank you. The wife said today that she didn’t want pleasure unless I had it too. She has been superb about this and gave me lots of sexy cuddles and hugs when it happened again this morning.
> 
> So she won’t let me go down on her unless I get erect and can achieve sex.
> 
> St. John’s wort is an anti depression thing - are you sure ?


Tell her that you get lots of pleasure giving her pleasure.
Tell her the truth that you went two weeks without her and you're not 25 anymore, but you look forward to her body each and every morning and night.
Yes, that's what somebody suggested in another thread that would help you keep an erection, once you have one.

Can St. John’s Wort Delay Ejaculation – Boost Mood


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> Tell her that you get lots of pleasure giving her pleasure.
> Tell her the truth that you went two weeks without her and you're not 25 anymore, but you look forward to her body each and every morning and night.
> Yes, that's what somebody suggested in another thread that would help you keep an erection, once you have one.


I told her exactly that, we have been trying every night even twice a night since last Wednesday- she is doing it for me as I know her drive isn’t an every day type of sex drive. I so wanted to have every part of her when she got back and I’m totally gutted by this lack of erection. I’m really worried.

Will look up the wort


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Ron1022 said:


> I told her exactly that, we have been trying every night even twice a night since last Wednesday- she is doing it for me as I know her drive isn’t an every day type of sex drive. I so wanted to have every part of her when she got back and I’m totally gutted by this lack of erection. I’m really worried.
> 
> Will look up the wort


You're partly setting yourself to fail, by being anxious about it.
I can't tell you to not think about it, because that becomes your focus. 
All I can tell you is to just relax and enjoy your wife.


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> You're partly setting yourself to fail, by being anxious about it.
> I can't tell you to not think about it, because that becomes your focus.
> All I can tell you is to just relax and enjoy your wife.


Yes it’s a vicious circle. When we come to making love again I guess the worry that I won’t be able to get hard kills the chances of getting hard.
She is trying to help by trying to make love every morning which I love her for. How do I break this circle. I need good sleep first I think but then I end up awake in anticipation.

maybe relaxing is a good plan. This morning I tried that and she went down on me which she never does. Got an erection and then lost it upon penetrating. How **** is this. She is so sexy too. I just don’t understand


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Ron1022 said:


> Yes it’s a vicious circle. When we come to making love again I guess the worry that I won’t be able to get hard kills the chances of getting hard.
> She is trying to help by trying to make love every morning which I love her for. How do I break this circle. I need good sleep first I think but then I end up awake in anticipation.
> 
> maybe relaxing is a good plan. This morning I tried that and she went down on me which she never does. Got an erection and then lost it upon penetrating. How **** is this. She is so sexy too. I just don’t understand


The erection should have been celebrated as evidence that you still find her attractive. It is proof that it is coming back.


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> The erection should have been celebrated as evidence that you still find her attractive. It is roof that it is coming back.


I hope so, this is so not me, I’ve always been able to get it up before now. I hope it’s just the lack of sleep.
I checked at johns and they say it causes ED


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Ron1022 said:


> I hope so, this is so not me, I’ve always been able to get it up before now. I hope it’s just the lack of sleep.
> I checked at johns and they say it causes ED


You've never been 49 years old before and had to forego sex for two weeks either. As you age, you have to keep all your parts lubricated to keep them reliable. 
I suggest celebrating each moment of progress. However, to not discourage the wife, maybe ask a doctor what you can use to get over a hump, but you don't want anything permanent.


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> You've never been 49 years old before and had to forego sex for two weeks either. As you age, you have to keep all your parts lubricated to keep them reliable.
> I suggest celebrating each moment of progress. However, to not discourage the wife, maybe ask a doctor what you can use to get over a hump, but you don't want anything permanent.


thanks for that but I went years without and when she started it again I was full and ready. This issue is recent and worrying. How will it affect the dynamics of our relationship if I can’t make love to my wife ? I’m very worried about how to initiate sex without being able to carry through time and again ?

I’m also aware that I’m feeding the problem by giving it too much focus and attention. What am I to do ?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Try Cialis. It stays in your system for ~24 hrs. If that does not work, see a Urologist, ASAP.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

You are 59, spanking the monkey 4 to 5 times a day and can't get it up for you wife. I believe sir that you have found your problem.


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

Diceplayer said:


> You are 59, spanking the monkey 4 to 5 times a day and can't get it up for you wife. I believe sir that you have found your problem.


49 not 59 - spanking the monkey has stopped. I too see this as a possible contributing issue. Thing is that it hasn’t bothered me up to now but maybe it’s cumulative. From now on I’ll only spank after sex. Let’s see if that does it. I don’t think the lack of sleep has helped either


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Oh good Lord. Take a few days off, let the dust settle, clear your head and stop spanking every day and let the tank fill up. 
Is it normal for you to be this anxious and this neurotic about thinking she is cheating? 

Now, her being in contact with this other guy, her deleting messages and him sending her love songs etc are red flags. 

But has something else happened in the past that has made you this suspicious?


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> Oh good Lord. Take a few days off, let the dust settle, clear your head and stop spanking every day and let the tank fill up.
> Is it normal for you to be this anxious and this neurotic about thinking she is cheating?
> 
> Now, her being in contact with this other guy, her deleting messages and him sending her love songs etc are red flags.
> ...


Notjing has ever happened before. And to be honest nothing happened this time either. I read the red flags and acted on instinct and I am 1000% that it didn’t happen. I know my wife and she is educated and highly principled and it was my paranoia that led me to the wrong conclusion that she had done the dirty.

I think you are right - time to let the dust settle. We are going in a weekend in Scotland this weekend that I sincerely want to have sex on. Mind over matter time


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Ron1022 said:


> Yes it’s a vicious circle.


Life is a vicious companion.

It preys most heavily on the older blokes and ladies.

'Most' everything that fails in ones body can be remedied.
All, on a temporary basis.

Avoid the witch doctors, ring up a 'twitch' Medical Doctor.

Our bodies are but chemicals, bones, water and twitching nerves.

Your problem is not unique, nah, tis' common.

If you are overweight, a diabetic, have heart and circulatory problems, ED is one of the first signs.

Many medications have ED as a side effect. Have a medico run down the list (and side effects) of what your are taking.

Performance anxiety is your enemy.



_KB-_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

When you do go to the doctor for your condition, keep your wife in the loop.

She will appreciate knowing and that you are trying to correct this issue.

Believe me.




_Lilith-_


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

SunCMars said:


> Life is a vicious companion.
> 
> It preys most heavily on the older blokes and ladies.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the contribution,

im 5ft 10, not overweight not on any meds. 
I should be able to maintain an erection as I have done up to now. I can only dummies that fatigue and anxiety over no erection has made this happen.

problem is I go to bed anticipating her move in the small hours - no or little sleep. Then when I can’t get it up no matter what - no sleep as I’m upset about it - there lies the vicious circle. I’m going to break it this week, no masturbation, sleep and rest then let’s see


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

No, lack of sleep is not a cause of ED. Just be happy you made it this far. Welcome to the club. I've been a devoted member for a couple years now; I'm your age.


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## Jeffsmith35 (Apr 8, 2021)

Try Sildenafil. It is amazing. Use Afrin before taking it to avoid sinus congestion. ED can create more ED because of performance anxiety, and Sildenafil eliminates all performance anxiety.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Ron1022 said:


> no she didn’t, I know my wife inside out, she hasn’t cheated and I Believe that 100%
> 
> this is not in question on this post. The question is about lack of erection and lack of sleep. I had no issue beforeshe went to Greece to see her mum. She had no opportunity and didn’t do anything like that when there as we spoke all the time and I knew where she was all the time.





Ron1022 said:


> thank you. The wife said today that she didn’t want pleasure unless I had it too. She has been superb about this and gave me lots of sexy cuddles and hugs when it happened again this morning.
> 
> So she won’t let me go down on her unless I get erect and can achieve sex.
> 
> St. John’s wort is an anti depression thing - are you sure ?


two thoughts. 

First, get yourself tested for STD's. If you suspected something, why not know for sure she didn't bring you an international present.

Second, in ED there are physical/medical causes and there are mental causes. A good doctor can rule out the medical/physical causes. Generic viagra is relatively cheap and can be used if nothing else as a placebo to break the cycle of ED if it is mentally caused.

Your wife knows you have had some problems keeping it up for sex and is trying to take the pressure off you by saying what she did. She is a good woman for that. Accept her kindness. Ask her for her help by giving you a little extra foreplay. Specifically, ask her to provide you with some fondling and teasing prior to stimulating you for the "main event." Teasing will get your desire up and that may allow you to focus on your desire rather than on your past ED problems. Ask her to help you. You and your wife are partners and sex is something that you share with each other.

As to her not wanting sex if you won't climax. Talk to her. Tell her how much joy it is to you to bring her to sexual climax. Explain to her that when one partner has a higher sexual desire or a higher capability for sex than the other that it is important that both be satisfied and that requires compromise so that both get the emotional connection they need.

Good luck. Classically, you and your wife sound like ideal candidates for sessions with a marriage counselor who is also a sex therapist and some sensate focus exercises to help you reconnect sensually while taking a break from sex, then incorporating sex back into your life in a structured way.


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

Young at Heart said:


> two thoughts.
> 
> First, get yourself tested for STD's. If you suspected something, why not know for sure she didn't bring you an international present.
> 
> ...


really good advice thank you.
Thing about use of ED meds is that when she wants to do it it can be at 0500 hrs which would be past the effective time of the meds.

mom going to give myself a little time before reaching to the doctors. I simply cannot believe this happened over night and I’m sure it’s situational or temporary. Psychological and could well be to do with not having slept.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ron1022 said:


> no she didn’t, I know my wife inside out, she hasn’t cheated and I Believe that 100%
> 
> this is not in question on this post. The question is about lack of erection and lack of sleep. I had no issue beforeshe went to Greece to see her mum. She had no opportunity and didn’t do anything like that when there as we spoke all the time and I knew where she was all the time.


What happened is a cycle of anxiety got started and fed itself. First, why did she start and then stop -- probably jetlag. 

Why can't you do it on demand all hours of predawn? Because a lot of people can't. There is such a thing as a biological clock. One of my bfs, we went at it like rabbits when we got together and often into the wee hours, which weren't unusual for our lifestyle. So like 3 in the morning and like that. But once he was asleep, he wasn't doing anything else until it was evening again. He just had his routine. I asked him about why no morning sex once and he said, Oh, I have to get ready for work. Well, so did I. It was just not his way. Probably both routinely and just how his body clock was as well. Also, there was also drinking involved and whatnot, so I imagine that figured in. 

I think it's your anxiety about it at this point. And that that's not the optimum time for you. Why not talk to her about it. Tell her you suggest trying to sleep through the night a few nights and then having sex after lights out and see what happens.


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> What happened is a cycle of anxiety got started and fed itself. First, why did she start and then stop -- probably jetlag.
> 
> Why can't you do it on demand all hours of predawn? Because a lot of people can't. There is such a thing as a biological clock. One of my bfs, we went at it like rabbits when we got together and often into the wee hours, which weren't unusual for our lifestyle. So like 3 in the morning and like that. But once he was asleep, he wasn't doing anything else until it was evening again. He just had his routine. I asked him about why no morning sex once and he said, Oh, I have to get ready for work. Well, so did I. It was just not his way. Probably both routinely and just how his body clock was as well. Also, there was also drinking involved and whatnot, so I imagine that figured in.
> 
> I think it's your anxiety about it at this point. And that that's not the optimum time for you. Why not talk to her about it. Tell her you suggest trying to sleep through the night a few nights and then having sex after lights out and see what happens.


thank you, I’m inclined to agree. The thing is that before she went to Greece the 5am thing was sexy and I had no issue complying. It’s only since she got back that it’s an issue.
You asked a key thing - why did she start and then stop - she hadn’t slept for 24 hrs maybe more so was exhausted. That though started off the anxiety in me that lasted all night till she woke me at 4-5am to set matters straight and by that point I think I was too anxious tired and confused.

now I have to understand whether Performance anxiety took over or if it was cumulative fatigue after that. I was stimulated and aroused but could not get hard. She is real sexy and I fancy her like mad. The kissing was insanely good but still no erection. I went down on her and she loved it, but still no erection.

we’ve been trying for 4 nights now and the more it happens the more of a problem I think it is which compounds it. Tomorrow is a school day so I think it won’t happen again tonight or tomorrow morning.
I asked her not to give up on me and she said she wouldn’t but how do I know what she really thinks. She has been ratty all day today.
If it is a combination of fatigue and physiological then I need to find a way to break the cycle.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Ron1022 said:


> really good advice thank you.
> *Thing about use of ED meds is that when she wants to do it it can be at 0500 hrs which would be past the effective time of the meds.*
> 
> mom going to give myself a little time before reaching to the doctors. I simply cannot believe this happened over night and I’m sure it’s situational or temporary. Psychological and could well be to do with not having slept.


Cialis 2.5 or 5mg can be taken every 24 hours. It will remain in your system for whenever. That is why they call this a "daily" dose. You have managed to psych yourself into ED by worrying about it all of the time. So now instead of "being in the moment" you are anticipating failure, which is self fulfilling. 

Why does it have to be 0500? What would she do if you initiated at lunch time in the kitchen, or in the evening in the shower?

See the doctor ASAP. You are going to need a script for any ED meds anyway. Work the problem and stop trying to self analyze what the problem is. The longer this goes on the worse things will be and the wife's patience will begin to thin.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ron1022 said:


> thank you, I’m inclined to agree. The thing is that before she went to Greece the 5am thing was sexy and I had no issue complying. It’s only since she got back that it’s an issue.
> You asked a key thing - why did she start and then stop - she hadn’t slept for 24 hrs maybe more so was exhausted. That though started off the anxiety in me that lasted all night till she woke me at 4-5am to set matters straight and by that point I think I was too anxious tired and confused.
> 
> now I have to understand whether Performance anxiety took over or if it was cumulative fatigue after that. I was stimulated and aroused but could not get hard. She is real sexy and I fancy her like mad. The kissing was insanely good but still no erection. I went down on her and she loved it, but still no erection.
> ...


I think you hit the nose when you said "compounds it." All my life, I've heard that once some little thing triggers an ED episode (which nearly all men will experience occasionally), it's very common for the men to immediately be anxious and dwell about it, which just perpetuates it. It is indeed a compounding effect. I bet a counselor would tell you both to not even try actual intercourse and say it was off limits for some period of time with the result being that would enable you to relax as you aren't even trying to get one, but then relaxing might make you get one. I've just heard about that. 

Your doubts about her trip and fidelity certainly played into it, like you said, confused, and I would add distracted, and that threw you off. 

I think you'll have to have mutual agreement to restrict trying this the middle of the night for awhile. Maybe an agreement you initiate (or don't) for awhile. Maybe agree to no genital contact for awhile but all that good kissing only, just like in high school and see where that gets you.


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## Extraextra (Nov 1, 2021)

Are you using porn when you masturbate ? PIED is a real thing .


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## Ron1022 (Dec 12, 2021)

Boom - last night was amazing. Full erection full intercourse - only my mind to achieve it.

this morning - full erection again.

think I’ve got my mojo back


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Ron1022 said:


> Boom - last night was amazing. Full erection full intercourse - only my mind to achieve it.
> 
> this morning - full erection again.
> 
> think I’ve got my mojo back


Good to know. You just had to get back into your routine.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Ron1022 said:


> no she didn’t, I know my wife inside out, she hasn’t cheated and I Believe that 100%
> 
> this is not in question on this post. The question is about lack of erection and lack of sleep. I had no issue beforeshe went to Greece to see her mum. She had no opportunity and didn’t do anything like that when there as we spoke all the time and I knew where she was all the time.


Brother, says every H who doesn't want to believe his W would fool around. 

Start there.

And she may be using attempted sex at odd hours repetitively to cause you doubts on your ability to perform, that will allow her own thoughts to rationalize cheating while building a case that you made her look outside the M for sex, ie hey this is all your fault. 

If a W wanted to have sex with her H she would find times that work for BOTH. 

Not set you up for possible failure over and over.

You need to get tested for STDs. And if you want to have sex daily or every other day, tell her the times, places that work for you both.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Sorry brother, but it’s sad that you weren’t really true to her in mind and body while she was away… you missed an opportunity to grow in self control and mastery over your body.

You could have spent your free time at the gym or engaged in other hobbies… as is you just wrecked your chance at a passion filled, joyous reunion by masturbating yourself to oblivion. If she wasn’t true to you who could blame her… you weren’t.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ron1022 said:


> Boom - last night was amazing. Full erection full intercourse - only my mind to achieve it.
> 
> this morning - full erection again.
> 
> think I’ve got my mojo back


Yay, you got it sorted!


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## HappilyMarried1 (Jul 21, 2021)

Good news @Ron1022 that you are getting back to normal. I have another question have you and wife had a serious talk as to why she went so long not wanting to have sex with you why was their the sudden change I’m sorry that usually doesn’t happen that way after being married that long but hey if it doesn’t bother or make you think that is all that matters. Continue live and sex with your spouse.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Ron1022 said:


> ....Thing about use of ED meds is that when she wants to do it it can be at 0500 hrs which would be past the effective time of the meds.
> 
> ....going to give myself a little time before reaching to the doctors....


I am glad you have found your grove. However, do see a doctor, just to get checked. Penis blood flow can be a huge danger signal for heart disease, diabetes, and a host of other medical problems.

I have no idea why you think that 5AM would be past an effective time for ED medications, unless you either don't have time for foreplay in the morning or unless you think you need to take it before you go to bed..

The tree most common types of ED medications are (1) Viagra or its generic form; (2) Cialis; and (3) Tri-Mix injections. This assumes that your T levels or other medial problems don't exist. To the best of my knowledge, Viagra has two requirements, take on an empty stomach and wait 1/2 to 1 hour after taking with water (a nice amount of time for serious cuddling and foreplay). Tri-Mix is usually injected just prior to sex and only takes a few minutes to create an erection. Cialis on the other had may be taken in two ways, one is 1/2 to 2 hrs prior to sex and the other is daily, where its effects last for 24 to 36 hours. Talking to a doctor about who to bet use the medication you have been prescribed is not a bad idea.

I am glad that things are going better for you at the moment. Still if might be good to talk to you doctor about the whole thing.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

HappilyMarried1 said:


> Good news @Ron1022 that you are getting back to normal. I have another question have you and wife had a serious talk as to why she went so long not wanting to have sex with you why was their the sudden change I’m sorry that usually doesn’t happen that way after being married that long but hey if it doesn’t bother or make you think that is all that matters. Continue live and sex with your spouse.


That's what I'm saying. There are likely nefarious reasons for the sudden emphasis on odd hour sex repetitively.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Young at Heart said:


> To the best of my knowledge, *Viagra has two requirements, take on an empty stomach and wait 1/2 to 1 hour after taking with water *(a nice amount of time for serious cuddling and foreplay).


FWIW, *Sildenafil *(active ingredient in Viagra) is available compounded into a square gelatin troche to be used sublingual, which bypasses the digestive tract. I have used it anytime without regard to eating or drinking. No issues. The ones I was prescribed are 50mg, and are scored to be cut into quarters. use two quarters and response is full and sufficient after 1 hour.

Apologies T/J


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

Desire can change in a heartbeat. For the last couple years, I didn't really have much desire(honestly, I think that has something to do with getting legionnaires disease while I was deployed). But, I have had sex with my wife many times over the last couple days. 

Eh, **** happens. 

I'm glad things are working out for you. Enjoy it while you got it!


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Ron1022 said:


> Now another issue might be to do with excessive masturbation. Since we have different drives I have masturbated 4 or 5 times a day for the past 3 months and maybe I have drained my self doing this too.


Jesus.

I'm guessing you're retired.

Is it REALLY necessary to go at yourself like that every day?


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