# Knocked Down just when I was feeling up...



## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

As some of you have read in my previous posts, my husband cheated on me and I found out just over a month ago. The girl was 18 and is a neighbor, her "best friend" is my next door neighbor. DH hung out with the couple next door and this girl. Supposedly no one knew what was going on between them. When it all blew up it was in the front yard, I told him to leave and had every intention of filing for divorce. He asked me if he could come home, asked me if I would go to counseling and said that he would put 110% in to fixing what he screwed up. He has done that, I can't fault anything he has done and he said it was a wake up call. That was not what he wanted, he wanted us to be together. We are rebuilding that relationship and he has stayed true to his word. So things are going great, aside from some natural mood swings that I have had trying to cope. Even there he's supportive, does not get defensive, in fact I could not ask for him to do anything more and in a lot of ways I am happier than ever. 

Problem is, the girl is now coming around. We had a party last night and we were sitting out front, all was great until she came home with my neighbor and they acted like little kids. Riding bicycles up and down the street, screaming and yelling, etc. Everyone, my husband included said how ridiculous they were. We ignored them.

This morning their daughter comes over and gets in my kid's face. I came out, asked her to leave and told her that she could not come back over. She said that her mom said my daughter was a brat and they weren't allowed to play with my kids anyway. Anyway they kept coming back, my daughter had a couple of friends over and it ended up in a shouting match which I went out and broke up, sending the girls next door home and telling everyone no name calling. 

The neighbor comes over starts screaming at me how I need to tell my kids to stay away from hers and how can I act like this when all she was, was a friend to me. I reminded her last night she was not acting like one, she embarrassed herself and me and to please stay away. It escalated and she yelled (in front of my kids who I think were distracted I hope...) "open your eyes and ears, your husband cheated on you!". Nice huh? 

My husband was out there, he just tried to diffuse and told me not to lower myself, then the husband jumps in and says I don't know anything and he knew things but is not telling me because he's trying to keep the peace. (No one knew that my husband admitted the affair to me). 

Anyway, I live next door to a couple of A*****S! and the girl lives 3 doors down. She is also carrying on an affair now with the wife next door (she gets around). Sheeeshh! kind of a mess huh? 

So I know ignoring them is the best thing but when they come over starting fights with my kids.....not sure what to do. Anyway, I'm getting over it and trying to get back to the positive feelings I was at earlier. We had a great weekend, and spent a lot of time just having fun together.


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

Your husband should listen to this song, hun.

YouTube - Clay Walker - Then What? (Video)


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## Farfignewton (Aug 10, 2008)

I think that you are doing the right thing so far. Those people are ridiculously immature and the best policy in dealing with them is not letting them irk you or cause you to lose your cool. I would have said, "sorry honey, your statement doesn't hurt a bit because my husband has already admitted the affair to me and he wants to reconcile our marriage and we are quite happy now so take your negativity elsewhere."

Next time her kids come over and harass your children then call her directly and tell her to come get her children and that they are not welcome at your home. Remind her that if they or she steps foot on your property, that it is trespassing and you will involve the police if necessary. Just make sure to remain as dead pan and cool and calm as possible when talking to this woman at all.

Kudos for keeping your cool because I do not think that I could have held my razor blade tongue after what she said in front of your kids. That alone shows how classless she is.


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

Glad to hear that you and your husband are trying to work things out.


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## Sweet love (Sep 10, 2008)

yes its nice its not like some who do it wrong tiem and time again, never admit their fault and never even want to discuss them.
Its cooll but that woman is way out of line and that sees on her kids too. she was out of line ot call oyu about the kids when it was hers that did that.. you odnt know wha ther kids told her but maybe its even her that send them. You should spread the rumor of what her kids did, that will teach her some and will keep them at bay for good.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

You guys need to move. Seriously. I don't see how this scab heals under the circumstances you describe.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Deejo said:


> You guys need to move. Seriously. I don't see how this scab heals under the circumstances you describe.


:iagree: Or put up a nice fence (one with razor wire):lol:


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Pretty cool...I just went there and it brought a smile. He feels exactly this way. He's told me probably every day how sorry and stupid he was. He checked out and wasn't thinking, we just got in to a rut and rather than put in the effort to fix it he went elsewhere. Ironically, (despite some serious downs that I feel) our marriage has never been stronger. This is a lesson for everyone as both of us our now putting in 110% and getting out of it what we put in to it. Our friendship is strong and building daily, communication has increased, and we are having fun. The romance is like it was in the beginning. 

Then you have to deal with people like these.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Farfignewton said:


> I think that you are doing the right thing so far. Those people are ridiculously immature and the best policy in dealing with them is not letting them irk you or cause you to lose your cool. I would have said, "sorry honey, your statement doesn't hurt a bit because my husband has already admitted the affair to me and he wants to reconcile our marriage and we are quite happy now so take your negativity elsewhere."
> 
> Next time her kids come over and harass your children then call her directly and tell her to come get her children and that they are not welcome at your home. Remind her that if they or she steps foot on your property, that it is trespassing and you will involve the police if necessary. Just make sure to remain as dead pan and cool and calm as possible when talking to this woman at all.
> 
> Kudos for keeping your cool because I do not think that I could have held my razor blade tongue after what she said in front of your kids. That alone shows how classless she is.



Great advice that I will take to heart. There were three things I wanted to point out to her. #1 her husband DID have an affair, he has a son from that affair which they pay child support for #2 SHE had an affair, her husband told us he caught her in the act #3 Her husband told us that she is currently having an affair with that girl ....but her daughters and my kids were there and I thought have some compassion for the kids. They may be brats but they hardly need to know that their parents cheat on each other regularly and that mother is bisexual..they have enough problems. I tell you it was difficult to keep that to myself.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Honey said:


> Glad to hear that you and your husband are trying to work things out.


Thanks!


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Sweet love said:


> yes its nice its not like some who do it wrong tiem and time again, never admit their fault and never even want to discuss them.
> Its cooll but that woman is way out of line and that sees on her kids too. she was out of line ot call oyu about the kids when it was hers that did that.. you odnt know wha ther kids told her but maybe its even her that send them. You should spread the rumor of what her kids did, that will teach her some and will keep them at bay for good.


I just can't imagine why she thinks using her kids like that is a good idea. I've decided to take the high road and I told my kids they are not to speak to them. My little guy though (he's 4) was in that girl's face telling her she can't call his sister names. The girl is 3 times his size, she's 12 and there is my little guy protecting his lil sis. Now that I think about it, I'm damned proud of us as parents. Look how their kids act and look at mine.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Deejo said:


> You guys need to move. Seriously. I don't see how this scab heals under the circumstances you describe.



I absolutely want to move, but unfortunately int his market we can't. We live in Phoenix and the market is so bad here...when it turns around we will look to move. If I could afford it, there would be a sign up already. I'm hoping they will move, they are renters and I know from someone in our association they racked up a couple thousand in fines that their landlord is being hit with. Their lease is up next month...hoping he kicks them out!


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

827Aug said:


> :iagree: Or put up a nice fence (one with razor wire):lol:


Now that's an idea! :lol:


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## MEM (Sep 15, 2008)

I really hope that the owner does not renew their lease next door. It sounds as though they are neighbors from HELL!!!!!!

I wish you all the luck in the world!


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

MEM said:


> I really hope that the owner does not renew their lease next door. It sounds as though they are neighbors from HELL!!!!!!
> 
> I wish you all the luck in the world!


Thanks! :iagree: They are the neighbors from hell!


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

AZMOMOFTWO,

Once again, you handled this beautifully. At this point, I hope their lease is not renewed and they move--soon. If that doesn't happen, I think since your husband would and should be the one in the best position to talk to them. Neither of your kids (or you) deserve to hear her saying hurtful things. She seems to have no internal filter on what comes out of her mouth & I don't even see why she is showing any animosity towards you (it should be the opposite...she should be apologizing for being a crap friend)...only thing that makes sense is that she's angry that her plan to bring your husband down with her failed and she can't handle seeing a strong marriage and family next door.


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## Farfignewton (Aug 10, 2008)

I agree with Swedish that she is probably just jealous as hell of your relationship and that is why she is being such a capital B to you. Hopefully, the landlord is as fed up with them as you are and gives them the boot. I love the fence with razor wire idea! LOL.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i grew up with neighbors from hell for 16 years. When we first stopped talking to them they escalated but we just ignored them. After a little while they stopped for the most part. Now that Im older im glad we just ignored them. I can see how ridiculous and messed up they were. im glad i can look back and know my parents and I didnt do anything to provoke them and become equally as ridiculous. i have a clean conscience.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

swedish said:


> AZMOMOFTWO,
> 
> Once again, you handled this beautifully. At this point, I hope their lease is not renewed and they move--soon. If that doesn't happen, I think since your husband would and should be the one in the best position to talk to them. Neither of your kids (or you) deserve to hear her saying hurtful things. She seems to have no internal filter on what comes out of her mouth & I don't even see why she is showing any animosity towards you (it should be the opposite...she should be apologizing for being a crap friend)...only thing that makes sense is that she's angry that her plan to bring your husband down with her failed and she can't handle seeing a strong marriage and family next door.


Thanks. I think you are right about her not wanting to see us happy. She has also been insanely jealous of my daughter, its really weird. My daughter does competition dance, so she had to put hers in and always compare them to my daughter. My daughter gets straight A's, hers don't so she started pushing them and asking me about my daughter's grades, then she started belittling her. I think she is best to just stay away. Although this woman also went to the school and told the principal my daughter is harrassing hers at school. My daughter got called in to the principal's office! Its the other way around. Not saying my kid is perfect but this girl's uncle also came and told me it was not my daughter, also it was the girl next door in my yard yelling obscenities. I think I need to go visit that school and set that principal straight. At least my daughter should get her story told!


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Farfignewton said:


> I agree with Swedish that she is probably just jealous as hell of your relationship and that is why she is being such a capital B to you. Hopefully, the landlord is as fed up with them as you are and gives them the boot. I love the fence with razor wire idea! LOL.


Yeah, she is incredibly unhappy. Not sure why she's launched a full out attack on us but we'll try to avoid and ignore.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Its true that your kids watch how you handle things and learn how to manage their problems. So I guess we need to be the bigger people here!


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