# No more sex !!!!



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

No more sex for him !!!!! 

I'm stupid !!!!! Sooooooooooooooo stupid !!!!!

:banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead::banghead:

*He* needs to fight now !!!!

Full blown 180 now !!!! :smthumbup:

*“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”*

*“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”*

*“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”*

*“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”*


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

ooookkkkkaaayyyyy, now, do you want to fill us all in a little ?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

ummmm....i think using sex as a weapon to get what you want is a pretty low form of manipulation. No one will love you if you use their needs against them.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

What happened? Was it the kissy face pic thing? Do tell when you calm down. We're curious.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

What is SEX? :scratchhead:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> What is SEX? :scratchhead:
> 
> :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


I have heard rumors, but I don't really believe them


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I left this vibrating thing at my H's house..I should go pick it up. 

Hey, it's a LOT more fun than he is!


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> I left this vibrating thing at my H's house..I should go pick it up.
> 
> Hey, it's a LOT more fun than he is!


you left a what thing where ?


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

VIBRATOR DUDE!! Come on..don't they have those things "DOWN UNDER?" :rofl: :rofl::lol:

My husband bought that and a bunch of those "warming gels" and a dildo a few years ago for Valentine's Day. What fun! :smthumbup: It was a GREAT way to get "warmed up" and "add to" the fun! Not to mention those rope things we attached to all corners of the bed.  

Ah well..All good things come to and end. Now I'm replacing him with the vibrator. No great loss. He's literally gone DOWN hill..

Shame, he was so good for awhile. Rum does horrible things to one libido.


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Long story....(in my profile)...

Short......ex-husband divorced me....when final papers came to the house he told me he loves me, doesn't want me to move out and wants to see what the future holds (translated: reconciliation possibility).....

I guess because I pulled a 180 after signing the papers, and then our dog being put down brought us really close together (kissing, hugging, holding hands etc) kinda showed him that he was making a hasty decision and that he does still have love for me, so he reconsidered when the finalized papers came....

Anyway....ever since then ("I don't want you to move out") I haven't heard a single "I love you", gotten not a single kiss or other affection other than sex.....once in a while....and most of the time it had to be initiated by me....(he said he understands if I don't want sex after all this heartache and lets it be my decision)

Ok, I don't want to lie....he would smile at me and even be flirty with me when we would talk or hang out, like at the amusement park....

But now I'm thinking this was all a game....

He came home today moaning about having to get our front door fixed and it costing about $ 2000.....

It then hit me.....he just asked me to stay because he thinks he can't afford me moving out, since there's so many things that need to be fixed in the house.....

That's why I get no kisses, hugs, I love you's !!!!!!!

He rather puts up with me hoping to get financially stable soon and while waiting he has his cake and eats it too.....

That's why I said no more sex !!!!!

But then again.... he's not rich, but he sure as heck makes good money (being retired military and now police officer...he makes 3 times more than me).....so technically he could afford it.... :scratchhead:

One could say I don't get affection because of me treating him unfair (accusations of other women and snide remarks because of his EA....even though he claims it was not) for a long time now....he always gets this martyr look on his face like "How could you think of me like that"..... :cussing:

But I'm not so sure anymore....

I mean....I know everyone said "*180* and *no sex* !!!" but I thought that wouldn't work for him (no sex).....

But now I'm at a point where I think 180 alone did bring some success, but sleeping with him didn't and I'm still not getting any other affection.....

And I know....I won't get anything else if I give him everything....the pleasant me who's making all kinds of positive changes and gives him sex too.....what else could he ask for.....no further obligation :banghead:

It's going to kill me because I am still thinking he will be driven further away now if he doesn't get the sex anymore, but I have to do it....

According to the Bit*ch Bible "I have to regain my dignity and his respect !!!!!!!!!".....

And I can't be any more divorced than I already am...... 

And @ Blanca....


> ummmm....i think using sex as a weapon to get what you want is a pretty low form of manipulation. No one will love you if you use their needs against them.


No one will love me then I guess....


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

LonelyNLost said:


> What happened? Was it the kissy face pic thing? Do tell when you calm down. We're curious.


No...I didn't dare to tell him....


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Freak and Crank.....thanks for the laughs....I needed that !!!!!! :smthumbup:


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

There's an old saying...

"Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?" 

The guy isn't decent to you but you sleep with him anyway? I mean, doing it once is understandable..but after that? :scratchhead:

Time to move out if he doesn't. Or change the locks and pack his bag and leave it outside and say "We're done".


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

rome2012 said:


> No one will love me then I guess....


Learn to love yourself and then it won't matter. Trust me!


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

I just learned he's super pissed and is sleeping in the spare bedroom "I don't want to talk  !!!!!"

He was in an ok mood today....

He was working in the yard and I pulled our cars into the street to let the kids play in the driveway....

When he went back in he pulled his car in but left mine out :scratchhead:

I found him in front of his computer texting on his phone and I snapped.....

Ragged at him why he didn't pull my car in, and what was so important that he was in such a hurry to come inside to text.....

Pissed him off....sorry....

I realized that I built some resentment against him....no surprise is it ?!?!?

Anyway....I can't keep my freaking mouth shut and now he's sleeping in the spare.... 

Damn it....he will never love me again if I can't control my resentment toward him....

180....that's the key....stay out of his way.....gotta keep busy outside the house !!!!

Still....I am soooooo sad.....


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> VIBRATOR DUDE!! Come on..don't they have those things "DOWN UNDER?" :rofl: :rofl::lol:
> (


ohhhh, one of those, sorry, it has been a while, my memory isin't what it use to be


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

:rofl: Well, for a guy it's not exactly a "must have" item...well, for guys who are into gals that is.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

rome2012 said:


> Freak and Crank.....thanks for the laughs....I needed that !!!!!! :smthumbup:


thats cool rome, freak & have this relationship thing going, bit hard to describe, actually, impossible to describe 

As for your 'no sex' that may be what is needed to get him to move forward, that or a baseball bat to the head, thoungh I would never condone violence !!!


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> :rofl: Well, for a guy it's not exactly a "must have" item...well, for guys who are into gals that is.


well, yeah, I know that, its just been so long I am thinking of becoming a priest


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> The guy isn't decent to you but you sleep with him anyway? I mean, doing it once is understandable..but after that? :scratchhead:
> 
> Define decent....he does everything for me....financially....I can count on him for anything....but he won't show me affection....
> 
> ...


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

180, it will go one way or the other, hopefully the way *you* want it to go.


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Crankshaw said:


> As for your 'no sex' that may be what is needed to get him to move forward, that or a baseball bat to the head, thoungh I would never condone violence !!!


It's just so hard to believe that a negative thing (no more sex) could ray: turn into a positive thing (reconciliation)....

I really have no idea where I take the time to worry about this so much....I work full time, go to college, raise 2 kids and take care of a close to 4000 Sq Ft house......


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

> Define decent....he does everything for me....financially....I can count on him for anything....but he won't show me affection....
> 
> It doesn't happen often....I am a sucker for great sex and I know he has it....so.....


Well, at least have him pay you. Then you could afford to move out. Hell, it's the oldest profession in the world...


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Crankshaw said:


> 180, it will go one way or the other, hopefully the way *you* want it to go.


I've done a 180 right after I signed the divorce papers.....that and the loss of our dog must have made a positive impact....

Then about 2 or 3 weeks ago I was making myself scarce as much as possible....didn't come home for lunch break or went straight to doing my homework and then on Saturday I went to "run errands" for 6 hours, without telling him where I was going....I looked really good and he noticed..... :smthumbup:

You know....I want to slap myself.....

I know all this can work....the 180....yet I'm still too scared the no sex thing is going to kill what little bit we have.....


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> Well, at least have him pay you. Then you could afford to move out. Hell, it's the oldest profession in the world...


Wow....I've never been called a prostitute before


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

rome2012 said:


> Wow....I've never been called a prostitute before


Dont mind Freak, she can be a subtle as a sledge hammer to the head at times


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

WHAT? She's staying and having sex with him because he pays for things. WHAT is that if not a prostitute? :scratchhead:

I calls it as I sees it. I understand wanting sex but not at the cost of one's dignity. Getting screwed without affection or passion is awful.. Unless you get paid for it. If you get compensated financially then it's prostitution. At least be honest with yourself and stop the friggin' BS.


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## Smackdown (Feb 21, 2011)

I feel your pain! I am sorry you have to go around aroused w/ no man to service you! I am always in the mood and my wife pulls out her toys when she's mad @ me, so then I get none!! Yesterday she did just that, and I went to see a lawyer (not because she got herself off) to see how bad it's going to get. When I got home from the lawyer she told me she wanted a separation great timing!!
Remember the 180 is for YOU, and how you can move on, not control the one you USED to love.  I feel a lot of love in the room, and the wife ain't here!!!:rofl:
Mouse


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## bellringer (Aug 20, 2010)

Rome, why do you say its his house, usually in a divorce the judge grants the woman half the proceeds to the house, which means you will sell the house and split it, I didnt work my stbx paid for everything also, I think your ex figures its cheaper to keep you there, you signed those divorce papers without any legal counsel, dont tell me you couldnt afford it, my stbx wanted the divorce and so he is paying for it, your ex is a sly one, you dont know what you gave up when you signed those papers without going to court, you could have gotten spousel support, half his pension, and i know you dont want that stuff now because you thing he is gonna reconcile, but what if he dont, you will have nothing. you should have talked to a lawyer before you signed.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

bellringer said:


> Rome, why do you say its his house, usually in a divorce the judge grants the woman half the proceeds to the house, which means you will sell the house and split it, I didnt work my stbx paid for everything also, I think your ex figures its cheaper to keep you there, you signed those divorce papers without any legal counsel, dont tell me you couldnt afford it, my stbx wanted the divorce and so he is paying for it, your ex is a sly one, you dont know what you gave up when you signed those papers without going to court, you could have gotten spousel support, half his pension, and i know you dont want that stuff now because you thing he is gonna reconcile, but what if he dont, you will have nothing. you should have talked to a lawyer before you signed.


thats pretty bloody heartless, but it is good advice.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

There is really no such thing as equity when one party works and the other never has. It doesn't matter who cheated on who either. A good rule of thumb is the employed party will give up pretty much all assets in toto and be compelled to pay for spousal support INCLUDING in this day and age, health care costs for the nonworking ex spouse. If people in America still have pensions, you can kiss that goodbye too.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> There is really no such thing as equity when one party works and the other never has. It doesn't matter who cheated on who either. A good rule of thumb is the employed party will give up pretty much all assets in toto and be compelled to pay for spousal support INCLUDING in this day and age, health care costs for the nonworking ex spouse. If people in America still have pensions, you can kiss that goodbye too.


Australia, no spousal support, there is child support, that use to be crippling for the parent without the kids, things have changed with how they work out the amount these days, and it is not so crippling now. Worst case is I lose up to 60% of my retired fund.


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Thanks y'all for your comments !!!


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

rome2012 said:


> Thanks y'all for your comments !!!


Seems like my ex-husband has read this thread :scratchhead: ....

After a drunken night and him trying to get me to have sex with him, he slept in the spare bedroom the night after saying he's 'trying to avoid things' because 'it's not right'.....

If I was an optimist I would say he understands that just asking for sex but not giving me any other affection is not right....

But being the pessimist I am I think he just doesn't want me  .....

He's awfully nice in any other area though :scratchhead: .....

Expect the worst, hope for the best  ....


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

I wouldn't say no to sex...just make sure the foreplay last a few weeks tho...

damn...Sunday morning and I'm so blue!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

DjF said:


> I wouldn't say no to sex...just make sure the foreplay last a few weeks tho...
> 
> damn...Sunday morning and I'm so blue!!!!!!!!!!!!


I hate Sundays  ....

I would love to have sex with him if there was any other affection from him, like holding me or kissing......as you said foreplay....

I just don't know how to take what he said....is he done with me, or is he wanting to do it right this time, because he's nice and normal with me about everything else ?!?!

Not analyzing stuff is soooooooooooooooooooooo hard !!!!!


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## Shianne (Feb 5, 2011)

Sex?? I remember sex!! I liked sex...


lol sorry to make light of your problem... The sex part has been the hardest part for me to learn I don't actually need. It really feels like I need it.

On the prostitution note I have always seen stay home mothering as a wondeful prostitution arrangement where you have one client that you like. Isn't that the end goal of many prostitutes... lol I know most hate to see it that way and I was also maid, nanny, launderer, accountant, cook and errand runner. But in reality in my mind I always saw it as truth. Why not have a job you love? Thing is my "employer" sucked and my "pay checks" bounced lol
So I quit lol

So you are living and sleeping (until just now) together and the kids have no idea that you are actually divorced?
How does that work, I am very curious... I mean the divorce, if you are still together, still having sex, still not letting the kids know why get the papers? I do not mean to sound harsh or whatever I really want to see the perceived benefit that you are both going for.
Or was he planning on moving out and just dropping the bomb on the kids the day he left...
was he going to do you like my hubby did me and just leave and "let" you tell the kids?


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## Oak (Mar 21, 2011)

Shianne said:


> Sex?? I remember sex!! I liked sex...


Annnnnnd I just spit water and choked at my desk while laughing, making the entire office wonder if I had finally lost it. Nice work Shianne :rofl:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Shianne said:


> Sex?? I remember sex!! I liked sex...


HAHAHAHA. Yeah that is one thing about divorce...

My soon to be ex called me abuot 3 weeks ago and said he wasn't feeling well, and said he should prob visit a doctor and also get his "d-ck checked out cause ti's gonna fall off soon since I am getting no action, Jelly."

I told him, "Yeah that does sound like it sucks. I have to go now. Bye. "


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