# What sends you back?



## StuckintheMud (Apr 9, 2012)

So what sends you reeling back to things before they were bad?

For me its the music, Im not great with holding events to dates. I associate them with music though. Im a music is always on kinda guy, car, house, shower, room etc. Always have music on, but damn if almost every song that comes on isnt something that brings back memories. 

It feels like I make myself hurt, but I cant help it. I keep hoping that the music will start to make me feel better, like it use too, my oldest friend in this world. Ive even created a playlist of all the music I know she didnt like to try to make it a bit easier, but it only reminds me she didnt care for it and my instinct is to change it to something she would actually like to listen to. Double edge sword.

What are some of the things you have to adjust too, that you really cant live without, but also get you where it hurts?


SitM


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

Shopping is what sends me back the most. It could be the grocery store or the silly shops at the airport but I always find myself wanting to buy the things that she likes. I'll see something and think how perfect it would be for her. Today I was at the grocery and saw the local coffee she loves and it sucked to not get it for her. I spent so much time and money buying her things online and surprising her when they were delivered. I really miss doing that for her.


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

EVERYTHING!

This week, I am registering my oldest for KG. Filling out the paperwork was awful. Things like "Child resides with mother", Father's home address, Primary contact... It's all separate now. 

Going to the mall yesterday to get more clothes that actually fit and seeing couples hand in hand or families walking together.

Going to the driving range (which was a stress relief and relaxing), but knowing that this is something he wanted us to do together as a couple, but never gave it a chance. 

Flipping through the channels and not being able to watch TV shows or movies that we both loved. Listening to the radio and hearing Red Sox or Bruins score updates. 

Cooking dinner for my kids and sitting at the dinner table with his chair empty. 

Anytime my kids ask "Is Daddy coming to see us tonight?" 

Planning summer vacations and realizing that I won't be accompanying them to my in-laws for the week or two they go this summer. 

Crap, here I go on my downward spiral. Gotta get out of the house!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Either driving to or through the hometown where we lived together(and where STBXW still resides in our old house), seeing all the beautiful farm scenery along the way, making me greatly miss working with her on a daily basis on the family farm. Got to do it again later today for nonrelated purposes and I'm not exactly looking forward to it!


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

at the moment, nothing - that's because I'm currently in a phase of only remembering the bad stuff and feeling how great it is not to have him around

whether it will last I really don't know - probably not

he was barely around for the last couple of years anyway so guess I've got used to being on my own


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

For me it still can be music, that can trigger me. Now when I trigger from the music its more of a painful reminder that thw intact family is gone. The song "Good Life" by One Republic reminds me of the trip to Walt Disney World in September of last year, how I felt it was such a great family vacation. That is tough now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mtts (Apr 16, 2012)

Music for sure. First song I ever heard with her was Ruby by Kaiser Cheifs. I don't even really like the band that much but that song reminds me of her without fail. 

I also find that certian times of year bring memories flooding in more so than others. Fall is a HORRIBLE time for me. For some reason Fall hits me particularly hard when going through stuff. Some days in summer too. I go on runs in the park and think, "wow, I wish I was running with her or walking hand in hand again."

We all need to have a skype drinking party. I'll raise a toast to a better tomorrow for us all!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Mtts said:


> I'll raise a toast to a better tomorrow for us all!


I'll drink to that!


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