# Husband still accepting phone numbers



## idkwtd10 (Nov 5, 2010)

My husband thinks that it is ok for him to have dinner at a bar, get into a conversation with other patrons (mainly women), buy them drinks and accepts their phone numbers/email addresses.

He tells me I am insecure and that I should trust him. That he is just being friendly. 

I don’t have a problem with him doing things on his own (he hunts, fishes, belongs to several organizations) - even going to dinner without me once in a while, but I think this is crossing a line. This just sounds like him trying to have his cake and eat it too. It’s called being single in my opinion.

Am I right for believing once you are married that you should not accept phone numbers of the opposite sex or put yourself in these situations? I think this is a form of flirting and that he is playing with fire. You can have a conversation with someone to be friendly and not rude without buying them a drink or getting a number.

I would never dream of doing anything like this, since I believe you need to convey to others that you are in a committed relationship and that there are certain boundaries that apply. I also think that continuing to do something that really bothers your spouse is disrespectful.

Am I really insecure? Or is he just playing me?

Thanks


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I don't know if he's playing you but you are certainly not insecure. There's got to be respect in the relationship and what he is doing does not show respect to you.


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## idkwtd10 (Nov 5, 2010)

He's an engineering manager. Not in sales or marketing.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

idkwtd10 said:


> My husband thinks that it is ok for him to have dinner at a bar, get into a conversation with other patrons (mainly women), buy them drinks and accepts their phone numbers/email addresses.


What does he DO with the numbers? Sounds like he is passing himself off as dating material.

Am I really insecure? Or is he just playing me?

Thanks[/QUOTE]

I would bet my last dollar that you are actually being cheated on.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

You are not insecure. Getting phone numbers is completely inappropriate when you are married. And honestly, in my opinion, I wouldn't believe him that that's all he does. I'm sorry, I know it's not something you want to think about, but I just find it hard to believe that he's not pursuing anything further. 

I know that some people find it rude to decline when someone gives you their phone number. However, even in that situation, all that needs to be done is to take it and then as soon as they are gone, trash it, flush it, pass it to the guy/gal sitting next to you. For you to know he's doing it, he must be bringing them home, which goes back to thinking he's doing more than just trying to be polite.


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## soccermom (Oct 13, 2010)

You are not insecure. This is a ploy from men who are letches. My man did this to me for a LONG time regarding a woman he worked with & whom he had an affair with while she was married (in the interrim found out he has had SEVERAL affairs with married women). She was married but still wanted to carry on an affair with him and gave him work. She continually contacted him and when I got mad, he got irate and said I need help and I'm insecure. He SAID he wouldn't get mad if the situation was reversed. BS...

You are fine and deserve to be treated with respect. Be good to yourself.



idkwtd10 said:


> My husband thinks that it is ok for him to have dinner at a bar, get into a conversation with other patrons (mainly women), buy them drinks and accepts their phone numbers/email addresses.
> 
> He tells me I am insecure and that I should trust him. That he is just being friendly.
> 
> ...


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