# Moving soon after coming back together?



## scienist2

Hi all,

First of all, thanks for your time.

There is a long thread about my story... but in a nutshell:

Wife is older a few years, time to have kids, we goth have good jobs, wife does not like the weather here, we had a huge problem until recently with me moving away for a new job after old company went bankrupt, then coming back to the area after a couple of moths, wife was upset and unhappy for almost a year, then both her sisters went through a divorce and are now figuring out that there are not that many available good guys for them, now back to us- wife wants to sell the house we live in (it's hers), I am unsure of what to do, our gradual reconciliation is just very recent, I think my wife sees herself with her sister in Florida and not here in the cold Northeast, I do not want to move as I have just started a terrific job and I am still unsure about our future. Wife seems determined to go, at least that's her wish, I feel that I am being pushed into something that I do not want to do by someone with whom I might not be in a few years. As someone said, there are good months are worse years.

Ufff, that's a long nutshell. But in all seriousness, don't you think that a marital life should be rebuilt before making any other life changes, such as moving (and leaving a terrific job, paying the penalties, etc.) or getting a kid?

Thanks for your feedback and insight.

My first time married.

_{Moderataor's note: This user's name, scientist, has been changed to scienist2}_


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## GusPolinski

scientist said:


> Hi all,
> 
> First of all, thanks for your time.
> 
> There is a long thread about my story... but in a nutshell:
> 
> Wife is older a few years, time to have kids, we goth have good jobs, wife does not like the weather here, we had a huge problem until recently with me moving away for a new job after old company went bankrupt, then coming back to the area after a couple of moths, wife was upset and unhappy for almost a year, then both her sisters went through a divorce and are now figuring out that there are not that many available good guys for them, now back to us- wife wants to sell the house we live in (it's hers), I am unsure of what to do, our gradual reconciliation is just very recent, I think my wife sees herself with her sister in Florida and not here in the cold Northeast, I do not want to move as I have just started a terrific job and I am still unsure about our future. Wife seems determined to go, at least that's her wish, I feel that I am being pushed into something that I do not want to do by someone with whom I might not be in a few years. As someone said, there are good months are worse years.
> 
> Ufff, that's a long nutshell. *But in all seriousness, don't you think that a marital life should be rebuilt before making any other life changes, such as moving (and leaving a terrific job, paying the penalties, etc.) or getting a kid?*
> 
> Thanks for your feedback and insight.
> 
> My first time married.


Yep.

And definitely look up the divorce laws for the state to which she's pressuring you to move. You don't want to wind up paying permanent alimony should she decide to file for divorce within a year or so of moving.


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## EleGirl

I remember your other thread and agree that you moving does not make a lot of sense.

With her selling the house you live in, she's basically forcing the issue. This might be a good time to let her know that you do not feel secure in this relationship and will not move if she does.


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## Orange_Pekoe

Yes, your foundation should not be so shaky when you are making such a huge life decision.

If she really wants to move - let her move. But you should not have to give up what you love and are happy/peaceful with, when you guys are considering separation and divorce.

Also good point about checking your state's laws about alimony!


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## scienist2

Guys and lady, thank you for your insight and comments.

It would seem that one can't see the forest for the trees! A move such as this one should be undertaken only if both agree and are ready to make the sacrifice for another.

I guess this thread should really be back in the "Considering Divorce or Separation" section. Sigh..


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## scienist2

Orange_Pekoe said:


> If she really wants to move - let her move. But you should not have to give up what you love and are happy/peaceful with, when you guys are considering separation and divorce.


So my dear wife is moving in with her sister almost two thousand miles away. Apparently she can a job quite easily since she is willing to step down a bit and take up lower salary. 

I am not sure that reconciliation is possible at the moment. As she says, she needs to go clear her hear and possibly start anew. Things have been rough lately with her family here, with me, with selling the house, with the winter, with her work. There is no interest in furniture or other house related items, just in clothes and personal items.

I feel a bit silly that we are still spending time together (a few weeks left before she goes) and that she does want to take photo albums and other memorabilia. 

Thanks for the advice about sticking to people, places, and the job I am peaceful with. There will be at least some stability and someone to talk to.


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