# Cuaght in the middle



## gabejoel (Jul 8, 2009)

I am 28 and have a 15 month old son.My hubby is 40.We have been talking more and more about having another child, but we are both a little stuck in middle with some things.Our time frame for this is a little different because of our age gap. Neither one of us want to regret not having another child but what makes you completely jump the fence one way or another? Do you allow money, time and being on our own ..with no outside help from family come into play or do you just go with it?


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## Mommybean (Jan 22, 2009)

Sometimes, you just have to quit analyzing something and let it happen. We have NEVER had outside help, there is nobody responsible for our kids but US...so we don't get many date nights, we have a couple friends that will watch the boys every once in a while, but thats by far not the norm. Our kids are exactly 23 months apart, and best friends. They genuinely love each other, and I don't know that they would have gotten along so well if the gap had been larger. 
We knew soon after our oldest turned one that we wanted to start trying. Best decision ever. Yeah, we do without a LOT so that my H can stay with our boys while I work full time and go to school, but we have all that we NEED, and the boys don't go without. It helped that we were both on the same page...if you aren't...I would still discuss it and give it more thought.


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## LaBella (Mar 9, 2009)

Mommybean said:


> Sometimes, you just have to quit analyzing something and let it happen. We have NEVER had outside help, there is nobody responsible for our kids but US...so we don't get many date nights, we have a couple friends that will watch the boys every once in a while, but thats by far not the norm. Our kids are exactly 23 months apart, and best friends. They genuinely love each other, and I don't know that they would have gotten along so well if the gap had been larger.
> We knew soon after our oldest turned one that we wanted to start trying. Best decision ever. Yeah, we do without a LOT so that my H can stay with our boys while I work full time and go to school, but we have all that we NEED, and the boys don't go without. It helped that we were both on the same page...if you aren't...I would still discuss it and give it more thought.


:iagree: In my case my girls are 5 years apart and they get along good, they rarely fight and the little one is actually starting to still the oldest clothes, and she is find with it. I did not plan the second child, it just happen, but we are happy with them. We do not have outside help either and we both work full time, and likemommybean, we rarely go out on dates (my oldest is a teenager and she can stay home with her sister) but our free time is for the girls and we are fine.

Do not over analize just let things fall of their own.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

gabejoel said:


> Do you allow money, time and being on our own ..with no outside help from family come into play or do you just go with it?


If your realtionship is a good one, jobs are in place and you have some savings, and insurance, there should be no reason you should have to put it off.


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## gabejoel (Jul 8, 2009)

I do believe in letting go and let God.Our son is a miracle...i was told time and time again that i could not get pregnant .We tried for almost 3 years regardless of what they told me..i starting doing my own research and i became pregnant 8 months after this.I did not know that i was pregnant because i was in alot of pain which is usual for me because of horric periods i have always had.I went to the E.R. after work one day because the pain had me double over.I found that i was pregnant. The next night it got worse, and i had to go back-he was not attached to anything- we were told that i had a 90% chance of miscarrying.Well, he hung on and i had a great pregnancy and a beautiful,big healthy 8.5 boy! I dont want to think about to death,but i dont want us to be selfish and say ok lets go for it ,no matter what.Since my son was born i have not worked.I gave up a 10yr skill too be at home with him.My hubby and i are starting over...we had alot happen this past year that was so insane you would think it was fiction!I am on the pill right now, and waiting to decide to take myself off.I also cannot have vaginal labor or pain meds.I know it is hard to not get any help, but i am glad to hear that others are chugging along doing the same.I would like to find a sitter for atleast once a month for adult night out.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Its best for women to have kids earlier than later... esp when you have to have c/ section or surgery.

But there are so many factors to consider besides that one alone.....

no pain meds? oh wow.... thats really tough

would make me not want to have kids at all as I do not endure pain very well.


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