# Found Note from OM



## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

While cleaning a box of old family pictures and my W's old work documents, I discovered a "Note". I was livid and immediately asked my W about it. The first words out of her mouth were "destroy it", which is the correct answer. I said I will burn it, but first I want to know what it means.

"Olive juice" was their inside code for saying I love you, in case someone overheard it. At the time she was traveling out of state, and the OM was asked to come over and feed/water the pet guinea pig (thus the reference to "the pig was thirsty and happy to see me). He stuck this note to a jar of olives in the fridge.

I asked her about the breakfast request. Apparently she had been gone for sometime and the OM was really missing her. So he wanted to stop by early in the AM after she returned from her travels that night. 

All of this info fits the profile/conditions that my W had previously described to me. OM had a key to the house. He would stop by frequently for meals or a quick romp or both. He would leave love notes for her. They were pretty much married at the time as I was not around.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

I think the question I would be asking her; is *why* hadn't she destroyed it already? Or better - why did she keep it?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

That's the kind of sh1t right there that is the reason I would not even try to reconcile. The past never stays in the past. It always has a way of inserting itself into the present, in the most unexpected ways, often at the least opportune times.


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## marriedmanhere (Aug 2, 2012)

I would almost always vote to try to work things out, but I don't think I could work through 
this. She was basically married to someone else in your house. I would leave.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

MAJDEATH,

You seem resigned to discovering more and more as time goes on. You should probably do a search from top to bottom of the house, looking inside of books etc. Are you going to show it to OMW?

It's sorta like you had a marriage, got virtually divorced, got virtually remarried, then began recovery when you had your last dday.

Again sorry you had to go through this while you were serving the rest of us. On one side of my family there were two military related divorces, I never understood when I was a kid why everyone hated the second husband of my cousin I now do.

Tamat


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

badmemory said:


> I think the question I would be asking her; is *why* hadn't she destroyed it already? Or better - why did she keep it?


It doesn't sound like she "kept" it intentionally. OP said he found it amongst her "old" work documents and such. My guess is that she snatched it from the fridge a long time ago so that OP wouldn't see it and has since just completely forgotten about it. We have to be careful not to presume that everything is recent, or done with negative intentions. Cheaters do "cheater-like" things, including hiding evidence. Just because evidence is recovered later on after the cheating has stopped, doesn't make what they did worse.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

cdbaker said:


> It doesn't sound like she "kept" it intentionally. OP said he found it amongst her "old" work documents and such. My guess is that she snatched it from the fridge a long time ago so that OP wouldn't see it and has since just completely forgotten about it. We have to be careful not to presume that everything is recent, or done with negative intentions. Cheaters do "cheater-like" things, including hiding evidence. Just because evidence is recovered later on after the cheating has stopped, doesn't make what they did worse.


What else did his W forget about? Oh yeah, they were married. Sure, it does not make it worse but it drills home another day of triggering.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Yeswecan said:


> What else did his W forget about? Oh yeah, they were married. Sure, it does not make it worse but it drills home another day of triggering.


Totally, it's another unfortunately trigger. And she did forget about her marriage back when she was a cheater, but obviously if she and OP are reconciling, then her betrayal is obviously already known and has been addressed. The OP may yet find other bits of evidence from that time in the future, but again that shouldn't really change anything, aside from it probably triggering a bad day for him. The exception might be if he were to find evidence of something having happened that she hasn't already admitted to, in which case that would be totally different. Like if he finds a video of her starring in a gang bang with all of his closest friends, then yeah I would say that would make her cheating way worse and should be considered separately, even if they are well into their reconciliation. Like I said though, that would be the exception.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

OP...
I get that all this was some time ago and you believe that your wife has changed, as you have. 

But have you considered that you may be more in love with your pain than you are with her?

If I'm way off base, then I apologize
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Gas-lighting from a long-ago affair! Let's just say that she's holding onto this "thing" for some unknown sentimental reason that she ain't exactly caring to share with you! Could she possibly be playing you for a fool during what is supposed to be your joint reconcilliation?

I wouldn't exactly be destroying any of the evidence until such time that all of your questions have been completely and satisfactorily answered!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

cdbaker said:


> It doesn't sound like she "kept" it intentionally. OP said he found it amongst her "old" work documents and such. My guess is that she snatched it from the fridge a long time ago so that OP wouldn't see it and has since just completely forgotten about it. We have to be careful not to presume that everything is recent, or done with negative intentions.


Perhaps she did keep it unintentionally; but perhaps she didn't. That's why you ask her the question.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

The one universal truth regarding affairs, there's always more!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Burn it ceremoniously. 

You're triggering. We know all about triggering. Ugh...


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Of course, she indicated that she forgot about the note after R in 2006. Granted, it was buried inside an envelope, inside a big stack of unrelated office pictures, inside a second big manila folder. She was honest and said at the time, she wanted to keep it as a momento, but couldn't find it when she purged other such items once she decided to R.

It made me trigger a bit because of the timing. I believe the trip she had been on was to see me off for a deployment in another state, while the OM was taking care of the house, in anticipation of a reunion upon her return.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Infidelity... the gift that keeps on giving!


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

I did share with the OMW. She was not surprised and ask me to destroy it.


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## Retribution (Apr 30, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Infidelity... the gift that keeps on giving!


Just like herpes. Funny how they're both often found together.


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## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

Your latest discovery shows that it was much more than just an affair, the guy made himself right at home, and they played you for a fool using code words.

How can you, or anyone else possibly get past something like this?

Why even bother trying?


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

MAJDEATH said:


> I did share with the OMW. She was not surprised and ask me to destroy it.


Good.

You could set it on fire. You could shove it up his a$$... then set it on fire... just kidding.

You could use it in place of toilet paper and give it back to him that way.

I wonder how many other momentos your wife has stashed? Have you asked that question?


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

perol said:


> Your latest discovery shows that it was much more than just an affair, the guy made himself right at home, and they played you for a fool using code words.
> 
> How can you, or anyone else possibly get past something like this?
> 
> Why even bother trying?


Well, he said the note was from their affair back in 2006, and he already knew that the guy sort of made himself at home when OP was away. I don't think there was much new information that came of this old note buried deeply in old work documents.

What would you suggest he do? Announce 9 years later that finding this note has changed his mind and he wants a divorce?


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

perol said:


> Your latest discovery shows that it was much more than just an affair, the guy made himself right at home, and they played you for a fool using code words.
> 
> How can you, or anyone else possibly get past something like this?
> 
> Why even bother trying?


As someone else more verbose than I has stated, I was virtually divorced at the time and was not around for about 3 years. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your viewpoint), this particular OM was actually married, so he could not fully commit to this relationship, which I understand was a source of discontent from time to time.

How did we get past it? Long story on successful 2 year R but the ends justify the means. Not being short sided or selfish helps. And removal of toxic friends/workplaces and no-contact rules helps immensely. It is worth the effort if you can do it :smile2:


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

You said it is successful 2 year R but you still find notes from her other "husband". 

Not long time ago you found pictures of him that your wife keep hidden from you and she got mad with you ccc.

She still thinks about him trust me one a LOT


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

So what did she do to make things better for you?

Did she keep all of your love notes?

Where else does she have memories stashed away besides her mind?


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

MAJDEATH said:


> As someone else more verbose than I has stated, I was virtually divorced at the time and was not around for about 3 years. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your viewpoint), this particular OM was actually married, so he could not fully commit to this relationship, which I understand was a source of discontent from time to time.
> 
> How did we get past it? Long story on successful 2 year R but the ends justify the means. Not being short sided or selfish helps. And removal of toxic friends/workplaces and no-contact rules helps immensely. It is worth the effort if you can do it :smile2:


You were Plan B. The Other Man did not want your wife. You say that you have a successful two year Reconciliation. Why are you here? This note which have their pass code of "I Love You" bothers you. Who is the short sided one or the selfish one?

I've not read any betrayed husband here who found out that the Other Man had keys to his house and had made himself second husband to the wife. Was this trusted man a close friend or a relative? Your situation is very troubling for sure.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm expecting Maj to open his closet one of these days and the gardener and plumber fall out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> I'm expecting Maj to open his closet one of these days and the gardener and plumber fall out.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


LOL!


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

RWB said:


> The one universal truth regarding affairs, there's always more!


This is so true!


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Be smart said:


> Not long time ago you found pictures of him that your wife keep hidden from you and she got mad with you ccc.


That was a co-worker, not me.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> I'm expecting Maj to open his closet one of these days and the gardener and plumber fall out.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I hope not, cause then you guys will say "I told you so".


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MAJDEATH said:


> I hope not, cause then you guys will say "I told you so".


Just a bit of humor.

Your wife has left so many skeletons in your house it is a morgue.

The small town your in doesn't help either. She conducted so much infidelity for so long the town is a graveyard of skeletons.

You have triggers everywhere. Pain is a drink you have become too familiar with.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

harrybrown said:


> So what did she do to make things better for you?
> 
> Did she keep all of your love notes?
> 
> Where else does she have memories stashed away besides her mind?


She made things better in numerous ways, too long to list here.

Yes, she kept every note from me, even from before we got married.

Unknown, how would anyone ever really know?


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

perol said:


> and they played you for a fool using code words.


There were a lot of people being played, by all involved, because of the length of the A and the dynamics. At one time he was using her, at another time she was using him, and I was using her at one time.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

marriedmanhere said:


> I would almost always vote to try to work things out, but I don't think I could work through
> this. She was basically married to someone else in your house. I would leave.


It's a good thing that was 6 houses and 12 yrs ago.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

MAJDEATH said:


> I hope not, cause then you guys will say "I told you so".


MD,

I'm too a BS in R (6+ years) with a FWW that SC on me for years before finally finding out the Truth. I've got more Triggers than Smith and Wesson. 

Rough Patch finding that "love" note buried and "forgotten". 

Here's the point... R is with a cheater is tuff-stuff.

My IC let me know early on, "You will never know it all, years from now "it" will leak out like poison."

AC (she is gone from TAM) once told me BS are trying to assemble a "jig-saw" puzzle of betrayal without the missing pieces that only the WS holds and will never relinquish.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> I'm expecting Maj to open his closet one of these days and the gardener and plumber fall out.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I have read all your other threads and this one and yet again, I am completely stumped at how you managed to reconcile with her. Really I am. This is just another piece in this puzzle and as this picture comes to light, I cannot believe or understand that you reconciled!!!! Truly amazing the brand of Kool-Aid you have been drinking!

You did make reference to a complex reconciliation process, but I have got to say that nothing, nothing would make me reconcile in your shoes.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

MAJDEATH said:


> OM had a key to the house. He would stop by frequently for meals or a quick romp or both. He would leave love notes for her. They were pretty much married at the time


 So when you were deployed out of state, the other man had a key to your house and would "stop by frequently for meals or a quick romp or both". Wow, just wow.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

This thread is giving me brain fog...DUDE


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

I think the OP is so severely traumatized and he can not even fathom what he is typing on here. I think his brain will not let him fully accept the reality and depth of what has happened. Thats why it sounds so absurd to us. Please be kind, he is going to need a lot of help and may need psyche meds at some point.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

I appreciate you reading all my posts (there are many). I guess I am trying to demonstrate that R is always possible, even in a serial cheater situation. There are worse situations that have had a successful R, like illegitimate pregnancies with the OM, physical abuse, STDs from the OM, etc.

My purpose in posting my circumstances on the TAM forum is to encourage others not to give up on a possible R. I remember one poster saying her M was over because her H touched a stripper's boob once, then came home and told her about it because of the guilt. Please! If we can come back from what happened to us and have a successful and stronger M, then anyone can.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

MAJDEATH said:


> I appreciate you reading all my posts (there are many). I guess I am trying to demonstrate that R is always possible, even in a serial cheater situation. There are worse situations that have had a successful R, like illegitimate pregnancies with the OM, physical abuse, STDs from the OM, etc.
> 
> My purpose in posting my circumstances on the TAM forum is to encourage others not to give up on a possible R. I remember one poster saying her M was over because her H touched a stripper's boob once, then came home and told her about it because of the guilt. Please! If we can come back from what happened to us and have a successful and stronger M, then anyone can.


I get that, would your wife be willing to come on here and comment on your R?


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Dude007 said:


> MAJDEATH said:
> 
> 
> > I appreciate you reading all my posts (there are many). I guess I am trying to demonstrate that R is always possible, even in a serial cheater situation. There are worse situations that have had a successful R, like illegitimate pregnancies with the OM, physical abuse, STDs from the OM, etc.
> ...


Maybe, let me ask her. I don't think her comments on R would be any different from mine.
C


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

She would be coming from a different perspective for sho!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

MAJDEATH,

What is your W's opinion about these OM as of today.

Does she feel they were POS who took advantage of her?

My W has never denounced OM-1, I think she blames herself but mostly me for her affair with him. Perhaps he is a good guy in her mind for refusing to do anal with her or something like that lol.

Tamat


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

MAJDEATH said:


> Maybe, let me ask her. I don't think her comments on R would be any different from mine.
> C


 I think that her coming on here is a bad idea. You need someplace to vent that does not involve her.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

He has stated he's R and not venting but helping others. His w could add some amazing insight into the wayward mindset and his to R!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Dude007 said:


> He has stated he's R and not venting but helping others. His w could add some amazing insight into the wayward mindset and his to R!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 Although I agree that it could give us some great insight our obligation is to helping the OP, and if R does not work out, he may need us again.


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## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

MAJDEATH said:


> I guess I am trying to demonstrate that R is always possible, even in a serial cheater situation. There are worse situations that have had a successful R, like illegitimate pregnancies with the OM, physical abuse, STDs from the OM, etc.


Of course it's possible to reconcile regardless of the circumstances assuming both parties want to stay together, that's not news of any kind. 



csteel09 said:


> Please! If we can come back from what happened to us and have a successful and stronger M, then anyone can.


Well, it's certainly not true that if you can be successful in your reconciliation, anyone else can. Everyone is different every situation is different.

And speaking of your own "success", well let's just say everyone has their own definition of success and I'd be willing to bet that there are others besides me that do not agree with yours.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

perol said:


> And speaking of your own "success", well let's just say everyone has their own definition of success and I'd be willing to bet that there are others besides me that do not agree with yours.


 It is comments like this that get people that come here for help to stop posting.


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## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

TRy said:


> It is comments like this that get people that come here for help to stop posting.


How do you know that?


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I cannot accept that you have a successful reconciliation (and are of sound mind). You sound like you have been traumatised into submission!


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

manfromlamancha said:


> i cannot accept that you have a successful reconciliation (and are of sound mind). You sound like you have been traumatised into submission!


bingo!


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## perol (Oct 6, 2015)

manfromlamancha said:


> I cannot accept that you have a successful reconciliation (and are of sound mind). You sound like you have been traumatised into submission!


That other poster is going to write that posts like yours stop other people from posting.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

A counselor once told me that holding onto a grudge against a person is letting someone live rent free inside your head. It doesn't cost them anything, it only costs you. She also said that not being able to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

I wanted to demonstrate that finding a "love" note does not mean an end to R or the use of the nuclear option (Divorce). She admitted it, answered my questions with believable answers, and said get rid of it. The note was consistent with how she previously described the relationship. I triggered a little then moved on. I may bring it up casually later on if I want, but generally it has been dealt with.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

How many times have you been in this spot, @MAJDEATH?


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

perol said:


> That other poster is going to write that posts like yours stop other people from posting.


eh ? What other poster ?


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

MAJDEATH said:


> A counselor once told me that holding onto a grudge against a person is letting someone live rent free inside your head. It doesn't cost them anything, it only costs you. She also said that not being able to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
> 
> I wanted to demonstrate that finding a "love" note does not mean an end to R or the use of the nuclear option (Divorce). She admitted it, answered my questions with believable answers, and said get rid of it. The note was consistent with how she previously described the relationship. I triggered a little then moved on. I may bring it up casually later on if I want, but generally it has been dealt with.


MajDeath, I understand all of that and generally agree with it. What I cannot get my head around is the enormity of her betrayal - the multiple affairs, the living like husband and wife with some of them while you were gone, the justifying it to you in the end, the wanting you to meet and be friends with some of these [email protected] etc etc - how on earth do you come back from that to a loving relationship ? Not saying that you didn't - just cannot fathom how while holding on to your sanity, self respect etc - please, please, please do not tell me its because you really really love her!


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

manfromlamancha said:


> eh ? What other poster ?


Oh - was it the one that was advertising private eye services and was chucked out for doing that ?


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

manfromlamancha said:


> Oh - was it the one that was advertising private eye services and was chucked out for doing that ?


Oh now I get it - you mean TRY. No we are all entitled to our opinion - but in this case I am genuinely curious to learn how to come back from something like this!


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

You can't and be a whole person. I'm sorry but I can tell by the postings it's all trauma.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Is it more trauma to go thru the heartache of divorce or to come to terms with infidelity in marriage which happened years ago?


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Divorce finalizes the trauma and starts your new life. Your particular adultery sitch seems to be a continual traumatization and not safe for your psyche but only you know how much you can handle. DUDE


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

manfromlamancha said:


> MajDeath, I understand all of that and generally agree with it. What I cannot get my head around is the enormity of her betrayal - the multiple affairs, the living like husband and wife with some of them while you were gone, the justifying it to you in the end, the wanting you to meet and be friends with some of these [email protected] etc etc - how on earth do you come back from that to a loving relationship ? Not saying that you didn't - just cannot fathom how while holding on to your sanity, self respect etc - please, please, please do not tell me its because you really really love her!


The OP says he's trying to reconcile. Bringing up hurtful stuff he's more than aware of is not really helpful. He'd already dealt with the other stuff and for better or worse was willing to try reconciliation.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

MAJDEATH said:


> Is it more trauma to go thru the heartache of divorce or to come to terms with infidelity in marriage which happened years ago?


The most traumatic thing is to divorce and to realize afterwards that it was not what you really wanted to do.

Beyond that it is hard to say. Really the only new event is your finding the letter left forgotten in a box of other stuff. Sure it triggered you, but it really changed nothing---as you yourself posted upthread a bit.

My choice would be to understand that I could always divorce next year if it turns out that reconciliation isn't working.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Dude007 said:


> Divorce finalizes the trauma and starts your new life. Your particular adultery sitch seems to be a continual traumatization and not safe for your psyche but only you know how much you can handle. DUDE


Divorce doesn't finalize anything, especially when kids are involved. If anything, it prolongs trauma and adds another layer of complexity when trying to meet someone new. 

I guess I just am not a fan of jumping to the nuclear option when other alternatives are available.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

sidney2718 said:


> The most traumatic thing is to divorce and to realize afterwards that it was not what you really wanted to do.


I'd say the most traumatic thing is to reconcile and years later realize you should of got divorced when you get burned again.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

BetrayedDad said:


> I'd say the most traumatic thing is to reconcile and years later realize you should of got divorced when you get burned again.


BINGO!!! People are VERY REPLACEBALE!!! VERY and EASILY..DUDE


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

MAJDEATH said:


> Is it more trauma to go thru the heartache of divorce or to come to terms with infidelity in marriage which happened years ago?


My guess is that it varies by person and circumstance.


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## Popcorn2015 (Sep 10, 2015)

Do you have any kids?


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

MAJDEATH said:


> Divorce doesn't finalize anything, especially when kids are involved. If anything, it prolongs trauma and adds another layer of complexity when trying to meet someone new.
> 
> I guess I just am not a fan of jumping to the nuclear option when other alternatives are available.


Reconciliation doesn't finalize anything either. Especially in the case of multiple affairs when trust has been irreversibly shattered and you've always got one eye open. 

Your wife already went the nuclear option. The fallout will last for years. Divorce may not fix anything but it gets you safely away from the blast zone.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

And why do the Flight Attendants say to put YOUR oxygen mask on FIRST before putting the one on your child???!!! SAVE YOURSELF FIRST!!! So then you can save your child...DUDE


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Popcorn2015 said:


> Do you have any kids?


Yes.


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## bigfoot (Jan 22, 2014)

if her cheating on you like she did is tearing you apart, and it sounds like she lived like you were not even married to her, then do something different. Pick a direction and go 100%. You can't forecast pain. You can't forecast whether it will be as bad as staying. In the end, if one has tried staying, then it is time to leave. And this is true even if it was years ago. There is no statute of limitations on this stuff, unless you have claimed to have gotten "over it" (whatever that means). If you are asking this question generally, then my answer is still the same.

Finally, I will say this, and it is a sad commentary on how many people I know who have been touched by infidelity, but EVERY SINGLE PERSON I KNOW THAT DIVORCED A CHEATING SPOUSE AND CHOSE TO MOVE ON SAYS THAT LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I used caps because it was that serious. I know some who have stayed, and you can see the sadness in their eyes. They tell me about the good that came from staying, but you can see that they realize that the good did not outweigh, nullify, or replace the bad. There is nothing worse than "selling your soul" and realizing that it was not worth what you got in return.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

bigfoot said:


> if her cheating on you like she did is tearing you apart, and it sounds like she lived like you were not even married to her, then do something different. Pick a direction and go 100%. You can't forecast pain. You can't forecast whether it will be as bad as staying. In the end, if one has tried staying, then it is time to leave. And this is true even if it was years ago. There is no statute of limitations on this stuff, unless you have claimed to have gotten "over it" (whatever that means). If you are asking this question generally, then my answer is still the same.
> 
> Finally, I will say this, and it is a sad commentary on how many people I know who have been touched by infidelity, but EVERY SINGLE PERSON I KNOW THAT DIVORCED A CHEATING SPOUSE AND CHOSE TO MOVE ON SAYS THAT LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I used caps because it was that serious. I know some who have stayed, and you can see the sadness in their eyes. They tell me about the good that came from staying, but you can see that they realize that the good did not outweigh, nullify, or replace the bad. There is nothing worse than "selling your soul" and realizing that it was not worth what you got in return.


Thats deep man, really deep and profound...DUDE


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

BetrayedDad said:


> I'd say the most traumatic thing is to reconcile and years later realize you should of got divorced when you get burned again.


(I'd said it the other way around.)

You've got me Dad. :surprise: I don't know which would be worse. I said it my way because there was some magic between them at least once a while back.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

The one up side to this is that OM had s**ty handwriting :rofl:


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

But thats a sign of intelligence???!! UGH


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

The note also mentions that he called several times but couldn't get thru. If the timing is what I believe, we spent a lot of time together during pre-deployment "bonding". I'm sure she left the phone on vibrate and didn't answer his calls.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

marduk said:


> How many times have you been in this spot, @MAJDEATH?


First time finding a love note from OM. Hopefully last time.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

The OM was a tool. Not her type at all. I still don't understand the attraction to him but maybe it was as simple as "he was always available to me, and you were always gone".


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

what does she say?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I don't get why you didn't nuke this marriage.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I don't get why you didn't nuke this marriage.


Why should I? Others have stated that you can equate a post-marriage relationship to a pre-marriage one. Everybody has exes right?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

MAJDEATH said:


> Why should I? Others have stated that *you can equate a post-marriage relationship to a pre-marriage one*. Everybody has exes right?


Only if you were betrayed pre-marriage by her too.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

MAJDEATH said:


> The OM was a tool. *Not her type at all*. I still don't understand the attraction to him but maybe it was as simple as "he was always available to me, and you were always gone".


Pretty obvious THAT statement's not true.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

turnera said:


> what does she say?


She says "he was available, and he met my needs at that time".


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

MAJDEATH said:


> She says "he was available, and he met my needs at that time".


That sound like a business executive explaining why they switched suppliers.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MAJDEATH said:


> I hope not, cause then you guys will say "I told you so".


Or the plumber and the gardener would say: "Hey! Can't a couple of guys get it on without interuption? Can we have some privacy, here?" 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Graywolf2 said:


> That sound like a business executive explaining why they switched suppliers.


That sounds like the kind of logical thinking a High Functioning Asperger's would use. And I am not joking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I just realised: "Olive Juice" is a very childish way of pronouncing "I love yous."

Good grief! Pass the teenage lurrrv affair sickbag! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

MattMatt said:


> I just realised: "Olive Juice" is a very childish way of pronouncing "I love yous."
> 
> Good grief! Pass the teenage lurrrv affair sickbag!
> 
> ...


That's the "fog" at work - adults pretending to be 15 yrs old.


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