# How to Make him Settle Down



## macy7 (Jun 8, 2012)

HI Men,

i'd like to take on your perspective on how you get to a point where you realise you are ready to settle down?

We have been together for 10 years, the last year i agreed to live together. Through misfortunes which i can elaborate if need be, he was not able to propose to me on our 7th year.

We've hit a few bumps along the way but im glad we are emotionally connected again and this morning he finally said a rough date on when we could get married. Of course that could change if we have massive fights again.

On his part, he's been focusing on studying for years and when he finally got a degree, he was looking forward to get the professional career he always wanted. However, he's been looking for nearly 2 years now and haven't been successful. so i do understand how frustrating it would be for him.

But what do i need to do/act/say to make him realise that we are not getting any younger?
What makes you guys come home every night to your partner and choose to be with your partner rather than with your buddies on a particular night? What makes you have an 'a-ha' moment and feel that you cannot live life without her?

thanks!


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Ten years? TEN YEARS?

You cannot make him want to settle down with you. You cannot make anyone do anything.

And at the risk of sounding harsh, if he wanted to marry you, he would have married you by now. I'm so sorry to say that, but us old people have seen a lot. 

Anyway, whether I'm right about that or not, you cannot make anyone do anything. You can only build the best life for yourself that you can. Screw him if he doesn't want to be part of it.

I do think you need to set a clear date for moving on. Time to fish or cut bait.


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## macy7 (Jun 8, 2012)

Thanks Lamaga, that's what my friends have been saying as well. 
Say your partner gives you an ultimatum and you agree, would you feel better about your marriage after? Or would you feel 'tricked' and scorn your marriage?


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## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

This is what my wife wanted for years . I stood my ground inflow 4 years ago and now we on the verge of splitting up . A woman loves a man who is a challenge. These are the mistakes I made I started trying to please her 

If you have a happy relationship don't push it let him come around on his terms and not yours .


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

You have already made the mistake of giving him too much time.
If I was single, a man I loved would have four years MAX to make up his mind. 

My husband kept jerking me around before we moved in and he proposed. I told my then boyfriend that I did not have time for games and if he was not looking to settle down, I would be on my way and he could play someone else. Men need to see what they are missing. I made myself less available and dated others. 

Your man doesn't need marriage because he knows you will wait for him forever. Move on and take this as a lesson for next time. Ultimatums do not work because nobody wants to be forced into marriage. I tried that once and it blew up in my face. Also, men who are forced into being husbands do NOT make good partners. Every marriage I have seen that was because of obligation is very unhappy.


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## geek down (May 10, 2012)

marriage isn't for everyone.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

lamaga said:


> Ten years? TEN YEARS?
> 
> You cannot make him want to settle down with you. You cannot make anyone do anything.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If you have to talk someone into marrying you, it's not meant to be.


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