# Did medication give you the answers to your marriage?



## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

Today is my first day on Wellburtin SR. My husband is so excited! I have resisted the medication road for over 6 months now. After speaking to my physician, I agreed to try a low dose that is 'geared' towards women such as myself. The extremely low self esteem, emotional wreck, sobbing all the time, hating self, days, life ingeneral. 

I understand it's to help ease the emotional portion of the low self esteem. Help focus more keep more 'calm' per say in trying to think things through. 

My husband feel once this 'makes me feel better' things will all fall into place and we will be back on the road to recovery. Really? I mean, yes, I'm tired of crying, not wanting to get out of bed, tired of standing in the mirror or closet sobbing because I've gained so much weight I've lost all sexual attraction for anything. I wont' let H see me naked anymore. I hate for daughter to see me. She's informed me I have a 'big belly'. She is 6 and I know she doesn't mean it in way I take it. At that age I understand they call it how they see it and she loves me.

Just curious as to those who are treating with antidepressents if it truly helped you focus in getting your marriage back on track. I do tons of self talking! Counseling helped a bit but I just feel it's who I am.

Well, guess time will tell. I would appreciate some feed back though if you have time.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Do you know a tv program called biggest loser? Check it out on Youtube.
You can't be depressed if you exercise regularly. Because exercise helps relieve pressure. 
Medication can help for short terms but only you can help yourself get your life back for long term, by joining a fitness program with a personal coach if you can't do it by yourself. Eat right (not eat less) regular exercise, running & swimming, dancing...
There must be some sports you like before. Register yourself in a fitness center, together with your friends or husband. So you can support each other. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

You have to do something positive about it. First step is the most difficult step but as soon you step for it. That's a good start. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Antidepressants aren't a magic bullet--they don't suddenly wipe the slate clean and write your life solutions out for you to follow seamlessly (I wish!!). However, they DO help to balance out the brain chemicals so that you can deal with issues rather than chemistry. So once your medication levels stabilize (usually 4-6 weeks to hit optimal levels) you could expect to have more energy, fewer inexplicable crying jags, better sleep and overall more appropriate emotional reactions. 

Does it mean you won't feel crappy because you've gained some weight? Nope, sorry.....we all feel crappy when we gain weight and have to figure out what to wear. That's being human. But it should be more like feeling frustrated and bummed, not a 2-hour crying jag that sends you back to bed for the day. Does it mean you won't feel sad about what's going on in your relationship? Nope, but you should be able to recognize and to some degree, control your responses to what's going on. You'll still have to work on your self-esteem, your marriage, etc. but you should be able to do it in a much more clear-headed way. I always think of antidepressants in these situations as being like Nyquil (except for the unconscious part, lol). Nyquil doesn't cure your cold, but it knocks out the symptoms so that your body can do what it needs to do to get better.

That being said, you should also be aware that not every antidepressant works well for every individual, so if you don't respond to Wellbutrin at this dose after a month or so, you'll want to talk to your doctor. But you do need to give it about that long. Usually they look at increasing the dose first and then moving on to other meds if you still aren't responding. Just an FYI...

Good luck, it sounds like you made a really good choice, I hope it works out quickly for you!


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Not sure about Wellbutrin, but some antidepressants will make you gain weight. However, this varies. Supposedly the drug I am on, Lexapro, can make you gain weight but I've lost 50lbs since I've been on it. 

How so? Well, by cutting my calorie count to 1000-1200 calories a day (it's called "dieting") AND exercising 5 days/week. Fact is, exercise alone won't cut it if you are taking in more calories than you burn off..and it's not so easy to burn off those calories. You have to eat less too. 

That said, exercise is a wonderful thing when it comes to helping depression! It helps relieve stress and makes you feel good about yourself. It's highly recommended!

If you do diet and exercise you WILL feel better! Watching yourself slim down will make you feel better and gain more confidence! Trust me on this!

Medication will help you in that it helps control your impulses and mood swings but as was pointed out in an earlier post, what works for one person doesn't always work for another. You might have to try a few drugs until you hit the right one and it should be combined with therapy as well. 

I'm on two different antidepressants (Tegratol and Lexapro) but the thing that has helped me the most is good ol' tranquilizers...Diazepam...also known as valium. Definitely don't want to take something like this without a doctor. 

Unfortunately even with all this, my marriage isn't doing so well. If you have a supportive partner that will go much further in making things better. Good luck.


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## froggieboo (Nov 11, 2010)

I have been on the same medication as you for about 6 weeks now. I have to say it's not the cure all I thought it would be. Has it helped? Not sure yet. My Dr. told me that it could take 4-6 weeks to get the full effect of the medication. I think it's important to communicate to your DH that this will not completely cure what he thinks that it's going to do. Be open and honest with him about that. I know easier said then done.

I have lost 33lbs since July due to changing my eating habits consuming approx. 1100 calories and running 3 miles, 3 to 5 days a week. I do feel allot better, I look allot different, feel sexier and more confident. It's amazing what a little weight loss can do for someones mental state. With that said, I still do not feel 100%. I think that this is due to some variables in my life right now that can't be fixed at the moment.

Medication and exercise are 2 variables to consider but it also takes work and effort in other areas.

Best of luck!


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## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

Thank you froggieboo. You are correct. Two years ago I did Weight Watchers lost 20lbs (the 20 I've gotten back over last few months) and I did feel good back then. As always, excuse of no time. Financially cannot go to a gym. Tried getting up early since there are tons of exercise things on digital cable..hasn't worked out so good. Since I spend an hour on road in car, 8 hrs at work, time get home have family dinner clean up, do little home work with daughter, maybe some house cleaning, bath, bed time reading..I give up and do nothing.

Almost 2 week in on the medicine. I find myslef in a more relaxed state. When H gets those knee jerk attitude reactions I don't give one back. I find myself looking him like 'really' and walk away and let him go be mad on his own. That never use to be. 

My Dr said good 4-6 weeks as well. H knows it's not miracle drug to make it go away. I told him it's to help ME not feel so insane and rediculously crazy.


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## emilysusan (Nov 19, 2010)

I've been on this mission for nearly two years if you can believe it. I was completely gone and wanted to end my life. I've been married 26 years. I am still not sure about my marriage. At fist I thought that was what was causing my panic, anxiety and depression. I'm now living by myself with my husband patiently waiting my decision. I'm with a great therapist. Oh and medication? I've been on several. It helped to get me out of the hospital but it's been a long haul. I can't even remember all the ones I've been on. I did whatever the docs suggested. It was either that or end it for me. I wish you luck in your quest.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Wellbuterin helps my wife. She occasionally has to take a xanax (normally just a half of one) to help her sleep but with the Wellbuterin, she almost never has the crying jags anymore. They used to be rather frequent and could last for days. She has very low sex drive but that was the case before the Wellbuterin. She is happier and has more energy. If she forgets her meds a day or two, it's very easy to tell, so they are obviously helping her. 
As far as the weight, does your husband find you less attractive?
My wife's weight has varied probably 80 lbs and 12 or 14 sizes but I've always thought she was beautiful and sexy. Whatever shape she comes in, it's still her. It obviously bothers you and that's probably reason enough to lose weight, but don't assume you're unattractive cause it's probably not true at all and almost certainly not true to your husband.


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## kcguy (Nov 15, 2010)

The excitement you're feeling is called the "pink cloud" effect. I've been on psyc meds for 18 years. I've taken 9 different anti depressents. I'm bi polar, and I take my medication faithfully, because I know that I have a condition that'a bigger than me, more powerful than me and can damage my life if I let it. I have accepted and embraced the wonderdul imperfection and...shhhhh.. mental illness I have....shhhhh.. don't be emabarassed. I've been depressed to the point of wanting to dance with death. Not because I wanted to die, because I wanted to just stop the pain. I like wellbutrin, it's the least strongest of this class of meds. I've been on this for 5 years. It's wonderful. It may change the way things tastes. It can aide in weight loss. It will curb some of the cravings for food. But, depression, as painful as it feels, probably has allowed you to see deeper in your self than ever. There is some pain there. Deep unresolved pain. That's part of the problem. You deal with that. I spent 3 years digging in my pain. Now, I am on the lowest doses of my pysc meds for a bi-polar. People stop taking their meds when they start to feel beetter, or feel strange. it's ironic, that the medication starts to work. Users stop feeling the symptoms, the jittery engine running in their body, the anxiety, the flight or fight feelings, the withdrawl feelings, these start to stop. The brain starts to slow down, we start to see clearer. Suddenly, we get scared. We're not used to being "not in that state" anymore. We have to get used to it. We have to get used to being "ourselves". We probably didn't and won't realize "wow, how long it's been around. So what we all need is take your meds. Now, you and your hubby watch your diets, exercise your marriage, go find some spiritual food not real food. Live, just dance! Reach out and put one foot in front of the other. The medication, should be used as a tool in your toolbox to help you deal with that, while your dealing with it using a professional or support group. Do the work. Live it and you may even not need it afterwards. Then Do me this favor, you start watching every sunset for a week. As YOU wonder in it's beauty and splendor. The wonder of God's gracious, holy love and beauty. Mother natures wonderous work, let your breath be carried away from the awe. Then think, you are equal to this, because we were made from the same thing that created that. You are loved!!!!


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