# Feeling like I was married for feet?



## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

Hi- Ill try to be quick

My husband and I have been together for 4 years married for 2. We have a 3 year old and a 6week old.

When him and I started dating he told me he had a foot fetish he wanted to lick and suck on my feet, he had never done anything sexual before as he was a complete virgen. So I let him and actually kind of enjoyed it because it pleased him. After a while he wanted me to wear certain shoes especially heels, then it was certain nail polish color and toe nail length, now he wants me to step on him. I do a little of it all to keep him happy. Its now to the point that he cannot get turned on without it, its been 3 months since we have had sex. He quit having any sort of sexual relationship with me in my last trimenster or pregnancy becaue I had cankles. 

With baby being 6 weeks Im starting to want to become sexually active again, but he is going straight to feet.... For a long time at least a year its been all about feet after we have sex I feel used and dirty like some sort of object, and definitly far from sexy.

Ive told him this but he just says he cannot help it. My husband cannot get turned on from my body or any sexual contact from me unless it involves feet or I am wearing shoes. 

Its to the point that if Im wearing heels he likes he will clean the house and do anything I ask for him as long as he knows sweaty feet are coming, its rather disturbing and I dont want to use him like that at all...

Please help my marriage and future with my kids father depends on this, I cannot handle feeling like an object any longer...


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## gman95901 (May 19, 2011)

Well it definitely seems as if your husband has feet on the brain. But speaking as a man partial to feet who has been married to his wife for over 20 years, I can tell you that all men who are partial to feet suffer from feet on the brain at some point in their life, especially during the summer months. 

However, it is up to us to discover that there is far more to our wives than just what is below the ankles. Being married to a man that is partial to feet has it's pros and cons like anything else. My wife enjoys it because she gets a pedicure every week, whatever shoes, nail polish and cremes that she likes and reflexology massages before bedtime. 

I am certain that the first few years of marriage, my wife did sometimes feel as if she was just a pair of feet, especially if she gave up the feet and got little in return. So we set some ground rules. Rule one is that her needs come first especially in the bedroom. When she has had her enjoyment, then and only then was it my turn. If she isn't up to anything or it is that time of the month, she doesn't mind offering her feet, but I usually return the favor by giving a reflexology massage or a back and shoulder massage to maintain that physical connection. The second ground rule was that if she did offer her feet, I tried to be a little less detail oriented about how she offers them. In other words, I let her decide when she feels like wearing a certain pair of shoes, hosiery, toe rings or anklets rather than requesting them. The third ground rule is that a man partial to feet must constantly remind his wife that all of her is beautiful including the feet, but not limited to. There is far more of my wife to explore such as her legs, breasts and other places I wont mention. This goes along way towards promoting a more healthy relationship.

Your husband has probably been aware of this partialism since he was very young and just now that he entered married life, he has gone totally off the hook with your feet trying to make up for lost time. I can totally relate because I went through it myself. But he has to come to realize that there is indeed more to you than just the feet. I think that if he were to adopt some of the ideals that I mentioned here, your situation would be a little more agreeable. It may also be helpful for you to correspond with other wives who have learned to live with a man who is partial to feet as well. I know mine has learned a great deal in the past two decades and is more than willing to share her wealth of information.

Hope this helps...


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

Thanks for the reply. We have tried the satisfy me first them give him what ever he needs but I still come out of it in tears. It really bothers me that he can touch me all over and go down on me without getting turned on at all, and I mean at all and I work really hard to keep my body in shape. When I mentioned that it actually hurts me that he cannot get turned on by me andI think he needs help I mean he goes through the motions with me there is no passion or desire there... Unless I say something about him getting my feet after then BAMB he has a hard on and he has some desire.. 

I love that I can purchase what ever shoes no matter the price tag, and get my nails done when ever Id like but even that is getting old, when I pick out a new pair of shoes Im instantly thinking will he like these or hate them and I wont wear them anyway without him bugging me about it. 

He tells me he loves all of me but I have a hard time believing it when he has no interest in any other part of me..


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

Also when I told him I really needed to be satified sexually I NEED to feel wanted and desired. Im tired of working part time doing all the child care housework yard work and feeling like a sexual object in the bedroom, his solution was maybe I should have an affair that terrifies me, am I that repuling that he rather share me with somoene else


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## gman95901 (May 19, 2011)

Housewife0001 said:


> Also when I told him I really needed to be satified sexually I NEED to feel wanted and desired. Im tired of working part time doing all the child care housework yard work and feeling like a sexual object in the bedroom, his solution was maybe I should have an affair that terrifies me, am I that repuling that he rather share me with somoene else


Yes you do and when he took those vows, it became his duty to do so. My wife works hard all day and the last thing she wants to come home to is a pubescent teen groping her about the ankles-I hear you! From what you are describing, he has disconnected himself from you completely and seeking professional help may be the best solution, especially if his solution is for you to get your satisfaction from somebody else. Right now from what you have described, he has become totally focused on his stimulation and satisfaction and has begun to justify it in his own mind. His thinking seems to be that since you are married, you are obligated. I disagree. You met, found a spark and got married for a reason, and that reason was that the two would unite to become one, not one and a pair of feet. And no sex for three months!? I feel for you and hope you can find the help you need...


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## Special1122 (Aug 20, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> Hi- Ill try to be quick
> 
> My husband and I have been together for 4 years married for 2. We have a 3 year old and a 6week old.
> 
> ...


That's so weird to me because I also have a foot fetish but not the extend to want to lick them and stuff. There is definitely something wrong with him.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I love my wife's feet and legs.
Heels ,pantyhose the entire shindig,

But this guy, [ the OP's husband ] has it really bad!
He needs counselling.
Much more to a woman than that.


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

I dont think there is anything "wrong" with him, I beleive he needs to learn not to be so self centered in the bedroom and he needs to help me get my confidence back. ... I have set up marriage councelling and he refuses to go, says its embarrassing. I was hoping to find someone that has had a simular situation and get to know what worked for them... Gaiing confidence back? Is he the only man that doesnt want blow jobs or intercourse? I am trying really hard not to push him away I dont want us to grow apart because of somthing so dumb but I also dont want to be touched and treated like an object.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

He can help it. If I can help it he can. I am a foot guy too and there is no reason he cant get aroused by being with you.

But I have a question: would it be such an issue if he was fixated on your breasts or vag? If the answer is still yes, then he needs help. If the answer is no, then you guys have to have another conversation about his fetish and what you are willing to indulge him in.


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

As a foot guy are you able to cuddle with your wife even if the soles of her feet are dirty from wearing flip flops and not mention to her a million times that her feet are dirty and you should go shower?

Are you able to have sex without having feet of your liking in your face, within your reach or be talking about them? 

Are you able to enjoy a bj without having feet within your reach?

Can you pleasure your wife and get turned on by it?

Im curious.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> Thanks for the reply. We have tried the satisfy me first them give him what ever he needs but I still come out of it in tears. It really bothers me that he can touch me all over and go down on me without getting turned on at all, and I mean at all and I work really hard to keep my body in shape. When I mentioned that it actually hurts me that he cannot get turned on by me andI think he needs help I mean he goes through the motions with me there is no passion or desire there... Unless I say something about him getting my feet after then BAMB he has a hard on and he has some desire...


Your husband has an extreme foot fetish. He's not just a "foot guy", in the way some of us are "leg guys", "butt guys", or "breast guys"; this is not a preference, this is a _need_. It is not within his control to magically become attracted to parts of your body that hold no interest to him. People with severe fetishes almost never change. It's the equivalent of asking a "normal" man to become unattracted to breasts, or a woman's vagina, or whatever other body parts that are deemed acceptable to desire. And fetishes just, by their very nature, tend to be very intense if the fetish is potent enough.

You guys can go to therapy, sure. And perhaps that will help him begin to appreciate you in other non-sexual ways. But the likelihood of this man's fetish ever ending is extremely low. That would be along the lines of trying to reprogram a gay man to become attracted to your body sexually.


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Your husband has an extreme foot fetish. He's not just a "foot guy", in the way some of us are "leg guys", "butt guys", or "breast guys"; this is not a preference, this is a _need_. It is not within his control to magically become attracted to parts of your body that hold no interest to him. People with severe fetishes almost never change. It's the equivalent of asking a "normal" man to become unattracted to breasts, or a woman's vagina, or whatever other body parts that are deemed acceptable to desire. And fetishes just, by their very nature, tend to be very intense if the fetish is potent enough.
> 
> You guys can go to therapy, sure. And perhaps that will help him begin to appreciate you in other non-sexual ways. But the likelihood of this man's fetish ever ending is extremely low. That would be along the lines of trying to reprogram a gay man to become attracted to your body sexually.



He was ( I think) attracted and enjoyed me in none foot fetish ways when we first got together before he told me about his fetish so that makes me wonder if even then he was thinking about my feet to preform? or if because Ive accepted his fetish and fullfill his needs has it just overtaken everything? I will continue trying to get him professional help hopefully he will accept because if its a need that is so strong it will never let up out marriage is finished.


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

sinnister said:


> He can help it. If I can help it he can. I am a foot guy too and there is no reason he cant get aroused by being with you.
> 
> But I have a question: would it be such an issue if he was fixated on your breasts or vag? If the answer is still yes, then he needs help. If the answer is no, then you guys have to have another conversation about his fetish and what you are willing to indulge him in.


Yes it would still be an issue if the obsession with breasts or vag was to the point it left me feeling used


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> He was ( I think) attracted and enjoyed me in none foot fetish ways when we first got together before he told me about his fetish so that makes me wonder if even then he was thinking about my feet to preform? or if because Ive accepted his fetish and fullfill his needs has it just overtaken everything? I will continue trying to get him professional help hopefully he will accept because if its a need that is so strong it will never let up out marriage is finished.



Exactly. Once you agreed to allow the fetish to become an open, regular part of your sex life, it overtook everything. The fetish already existed, of course, but once the need was fed, it grew to where it is today.

But you have to be honest with yourself. You should do some thorough research on the topic. What you will discover is that, even with professional help, the fetishes doesn't die. At best it can be managed, suppressed, and he can learn control. But, on some level, your husband is likely to always see you, and every woman he's with, as a foot with a woman attached to it.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> Also when I told him I really needed to be satified sexually I NEED to feel wanted and desired. Im tired of working part time doing all the child care housework yard work and feeling like a sexual object in the bedroom, his solution was maybe I should have an affair that terrifies me, am I that repuling that he rather share me with somoene else


Yes that is very odd and terrible. He is suggesting you have an affair? 

something is not right he may get off to that idea. IDK but something is not right.


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## Special1122 (Aug 20, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> As a foot guy are you able to cuddle with your wife even if the soles of her feet are dirty from wearing flip flops and not mention to her a million times that her feet are dirty and you should go shower?
> 
> Are you able to have sex without having feet of your liking in your face, within your reach or be talking about them?
> 
> ...


Yes to all questions. I do let her know when her feet get out of hand which usually don't because she s good at taking care of them. Whenever I do I'm nice about it and definitely doesn't keep me from doing her. I just like her feet to look good because I think is sexy and says a lot about a woman if she keeps them well groomed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

Thanks for answering my questions.,... and yes he suggested I have an affair not because he would get turned on by it but because he wants me to be sexually satisfied- and I guess he doesnt want to do it :/


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## Special1122 (Aug 20, 2012)

The affair thing could be fun considering he s all about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

Special1122 said:


> The affair thing could be fun considering he s all about it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think adding an affair to the mix would be asking for more headache, and that is not something I need my kids ever around.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Wow. And I thought that my foot fetish was a strong one. The OPs H is way beyond what I am and it can be a detriment if it interferes with regular sexual satisfaction. 

My wife doesn't get turned on by my foot fetish and uses it as an alternative for when she is not in the mood and I am - which is basically every night. 

So she'll do things to me with her feet and let me do things to them to get off so we can both get some sleep. 

I suppose the one time that her feet come into play while we both are getting off is during foreplay when I'm going down on her. She'll use her feet to play with my penis and balls. Maybe the OP and her H can give something like that a try.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Kevin2600 said:


> I don't think what your husband is doing is normal at all.Not being able to be aroused sexually without feet being involved makes this more than just a fetish it really sounds like an obsession.


No actually it sounds exactly like a _real _fetish.

People just typically confuse an enjoyment for something like feet with being a "fetish". Being sexually aroused by feet is NOT in and of itself a fetish.

What the OP is describing in her husband is a serious fetish, one that might require psychological assistance to manage if it's interfering in his life.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> I think adding an affair to the mix would be asking for more headache, and that is not something I need my kids ever around.


:iagree:

Adding an affair will only make you feel guilty and resentment to him.
The relationship will deteriorate further.


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## gman95901 (May 19, 2011)

Housewife0001 said:


> Thanks for answering my questions.,... and yes he suggested I have an affair not because he would get turned on by it but because he wants me to be sexually satisfied- and I guess he doesnt want to do it :/


He is so blinded by his fixation that he doesn't seem to care what his lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom is doing. The fact that he makes you shower when your feet are dirty from flip flops is very troubling to me and suggests more of a compulsive nature to his behavior. Most rational foot guys adore dirty feet and wouldn't complain about cuddling. There have been some good responses here and some that require a tiny bit more tact. None of us are qualified to say what if anything is wrong, but rather we should be supporting the OP and giving her sound advice. Yes, he has a foot fetish and as most have noted it wont go away. But _*he can*_ change his behavior. _*He can*_ become a more giving lover and a more caring husband who loves ALL of his wife, but he has to get help in some shape or form. Above all, he has to be willing to get help, and until the terms in the bedroom change, he isn't going to be compelled to do so. I think that the OP could start by going to counseling on her own to get sound advice on what she needs to do to start the process of getting the husband help. The professional MFT should have some effective strategies that can be put in place to help the situation...


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

gman95901 said:


> Most rational foot guys adore dirty feet


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

jaquen said:


> No actually it sounds exactly like a _real _fetish.
> 
> People just typically confuse an enjoyment for something like feet with being a "fetish". Being sexually aroused by feet is NOT in and of itself a fetish.
> 
> What the OP is describing in her husband is a serious fetish, one that might require psychological assistance to manage if it's interfering in his life.


Yes. A true paraphilia supplants interest in the sexual parts of the body. It's not just something the person likes in addition to everything else. It's something they like instead of everything else.

I agree that the gentleman may need professional help.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> Hi- Ill try to be quick
> 
> My husband and I have been together for 4 years married for 2. We have a 3 year old and a 6week old.
> 
> ...


I have a foot fetish, but not to the extent of your husband's. I enjoy a nice footjob over a blowjob anyday because visually it's more appealing. Also, sex with her feet in my face is a big turn on. Her feet have to be clean with toenails painted. 

However, I don't really like licking them or being stepped on. I also can still get turned on without her feet in the picture such as doing it doggystyle. 

Your husband is too extreme with his foot fetish. You should talk to him and set some ground rules. A give and take would be good. You'll give a little foot action if you get something sexual in return kind of thing.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

If you do find someone on the side most likley your marriage will be over.

which might be a good thing considering your so unhappy with the current situation.

put your foot down(pun intended) and tell him he needs help. professional help from someone who deals with fetishes. or your marriage will not last,if he refuses his fetish is more important than you and your happiness.

then its soul searching time. ask your self if you want this for the rest of your life! I think you all ready know the answer.

good luck.


ps even if he seeks help most likley this will always be somewhat of a problem.


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

I am unhappy with the bedroom situation and how it makes me feel. I do love my husband and am happy in other areas of our marriage- the bedroom is just the down fall, I see other couples complain about their husbands not helping out around the house or going out to bars, not helping with the kids ect and I have none of these problems just the sex life is hell. Id love some suggestions on how to spice up love life for "normal" people maybe I can twist some things a bit for them to be enjoyable for both of us... Neither of us are at all that experienced outside of each other..


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

OP - I don't have much experience in this area but if your husband has suggested that you have an affair to satisfy yourself, he is telling you that he is not interested in pleasing you himself. I doubt "spicing things up" is going to change that. He's not focused on your feet because other things aren't spicy enough. It doesn't sound as if there is anything you can do to make other forms of sex more enjoyable for him. He's told you and shown you exactly what he wants.

Like someone else mentioned, that would be like trying to turn a gay husband straight by "spicing" things up. It won't work.

As others have suggested, it sounds like he needs professional help.


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## gman95901 (May 19, 2011)

justonelife said:


> OP - I don't have much experience in this area but if your husband has suggested that you have an affair to satisfy yourself, he is telling you that he is not interested in pleasing you himself. I doubt "spicing things up" is going to change that. He's not focused on your feet because other things aren't spicy enough. It doesn't sound as if there is anything you can do to make other forms of sex more enjoyable for him. He's told you and shown you exactly what he wants.
> 
> Like someone else mentioned, that would be like trying to turn a gay husband straight by "spicing" things up. It won't work.
> 
> As others have suggested, it sounds like he needs professional help.


I agree. Start the counseling sessions without him and see what strategies that the MFT has in mind to help remedy the situation...


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

justonelife said:


> OP - I don't have much experience in this area but if your husband has suggested that you have an affair to satisfy yourself, he is telling you that he is not interested in pleasing you himself. I doubt "spicing things up" is going to change that. He's not focused on your feet because other things aren't spicy enough. It doesn't sound as if there is anything you can do to make other forms of sex more enjoyable for him. He's told you and shown you exactly what he wants.
> 
> Like someone else mentioned, that would be like trying to turn a gay husband straight by "spicing" things up. It won't work.
> 
> As others have suggested, it sounds like he needs professional help.


I know he could use professional help but he is refuses it. I am not saying I want to turn him "straight" so to speak, but I would love to know how to make things more interesting, he was interested in satisfying me at one point in time.. what could I do to bring that back? Forgive me for thinking there is a flicker of hope in regaining his interest in other areas.


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## Housewife0001 (Sep 5, 2012)

Or maybe there is a way I still could feel "sexy" offering my feet, are there any women on here that have a foot man? How do you keep things fresh? How does it make you feel? Have you ever been in my position? I have alot of questions.


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

I'm not saying that there isn't a flicker of hope but I just don't think you are going to get there by yourself. I think he may need a third party to intervene and explain that he won't keep his wife if he continues to be selfish.

In my opinion, this goes beyond a foot fetish. At the core of the problem is that fact that your husband has no interest in you or your feelings or your satisfaction. All he cares about is your feet and what they do for him. You are never going to feel sexy offering your feet if he doesn't give you anything in return. 

The problem isn't that he is focused on your feet. The problem is that he is focused on himself and fulfilling his needs and not addressing your needs.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> Or maybe there is a way I still could feel "sexy" offering my feet, are there any women on here that have a foot man? How do you keep things fresh? How does it make you feel? Have you ever been in my position? I have alot of questions.


To enjoy my foot fetish during sex, I'll sometimes grab my wife's foot while we are having sex missionary position and stick in in my face to sniff and lick. She's getting off because we're having sex and I'm getting double enjoyment. 

Although she tells me she gets nothing out of my loving her feet, I can tell that this works for her, too, judging by her sounds and the way she grinds the sole in my face. 

If the OP and her H do that, it'll be a win-win.


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## gman95901 (May 19, 2011)

40isthenew20 said:


> To enjoy my foot fetish during sex, I'll sometimes grab my wife's foot while we are having sex missionary position and stick in in my face to sniff and lick. She's getting off because we're having sex and I'm getting double enjoyment.
> 
> Although she tells me she gets nothing out of my loving her feet, I can tell that this works for her, too, judging by her sounds and the way she grinds the sole in my face.
> 
> If the OP and her H do that, it'll be a win-win.


I think it is just a tad bit more complex than this at this point. From what I have read in her posts, she has already done that. There seems to be a lot of giving on her part and not a whole lot in return for her and I think that's the main issue at hand...


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> I know he could use professional help but he is refuses it. I am not saying I want to turn him "straight" so to speak, but I would love to know how to make things more interesting, he was interested in satisfying me at one point in time.. what could I do to bring that back? Forgive me for thinking there is a flicker of hope in regaining his interest in other areas.


The likelihood of you getting that back is almost non-existent. Again, your husband isn't just a "foot guy". He has a deep, psychologically driven fetish. The only reason he was interested in you in other ways before is because the fetish had not been fed, and allowed to become fully grown.

It really is no different than a gay man marrying a woman, being able to have sex with her, but once he finally feeds his regular craving for sex with men he no longer has interest in women, and might even be totally unable to achieve an erection with them.

You said it yourself, your husband doesn't even get an erection any longer from any part of your body save your feet. At this point your feet are basically an entirely separate entity in his mind. It's VERY telling that he's gotten to the point of suggesting you find outside help with pleasing your sexual needs. He's not interested in you outside of your feet. For all intents, and purposes, your husband is a footsexual.

You seem to be looking for practical advice on how to spice up your bedroom, as if your main problem were that the sex was vanilla. In order to "spice things up" your husband would have to, at bare minimum, actually be attracted to you. That sadly doesn't appear to be the case.

If he refuses to seek help, and he has no intention of even trying to manage his fetish, you have to decide whether or not this is something you can live with. If you're a praying woman, pray. 

The rest is totally out of your hands.


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

jaquen said:


> The likelihood of you getting that back is almost non-existent. Again, your husband isn't just a "foot guy". He has a deep, psychologically driven fetish. The only reason he was interested in you in other ways before is because the fetish had not been fed, and allowed to become fully grown.
> 
> It really is no different than a gay man marrying a woman, being able to have sex with her, but once he finally feeds his regular craving for sex with men he no longer has interest in women, and might even be totally unable to achieve an erection with them.
> 
> ...


:iagree: Well said.

OP - I know you probably feel like we are saying there is no hope and attacking your husband. We are merely giving our opinion based on the facts as you stated them. Your husband is not attracted to you except for your feet and cannot get aroused by you any other way. That is not typical behavior of a twenty-something young man. The other guys on here who admit to liking their wife's feet use it as an enhancement to normal sex, not exclusively feet only. They are aroused by other parts of their wives and sexual acts other than those involving feet. Your H doesn't appear to like anything else.

The fact that he is willing to share you with another man rather than attempt to please you himself is very alarming. 

He has to *want* to change. You can't do it for both of you. You can only decide what you are willing and not willing to live with.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

You should start wearing wool socks and Birkenstocks at all times. He needs to be able to focus on the rest of you.


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## roger boschman (Aug 3, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> Thanks for the reply. We have tried the satisfy me first them give him what ever he needs but I still come out of it in tears. It really bothers me that he can touch me all over and go down on me without getting turned on at all, and I mean at all and I work really hard to keep my body in shape. When I mentioned that it actually hurts me that he cannot get turned on by me andI think he needs help I mean he goes through the motions with me there is no passion or desire there... Unless I say something about him getting my feet after then BAMB he has a hard on and he has some desire..
> 
> I love that I can purchase what ever shoes no matter the price tag, and get my nails done when ever Id like but even that is getting old, when I pick out a new pair of shoes Im instantly thinking will he like these or hate them and I wont wear them anyway without him bugging me about it.
> 
> He tells me he loves all of me but I have a hard time believing it when he has no interest in any other part of me..


ONLY FEET: I have read all the posts. As you can see, there are many foot-men. Your husband has an intense fetish, which is not unusual. I will ask: What if he had a fetish for breasts? If he had to touch breasts to get started? Would you say he did not love you - he only loves your breasts? You may solve 90% of your problem by accepting he starts with your feet, and is excited when he enjoys other parts. Try it and see. -- Roger G. Boschman


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

In some ways, though, having a foot fetish is strange at times. Even in public when I see a nice looking girl in flip flops with nice feet and painted toenails, it's kind of a turn on.

Even coworkers or any good looking girl that is just wearing nice looking flat shoes especially in a skirt, I find myself looking at their shoes and feet a little longer than I probably should wondering how their feet look. Imagine getting a hard on in an office meeting because of that. In a way, it's not good.


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## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

Housewife0001 said:


> Also when I told him I really needed to be satified sexually I NEED to feel wanted and desired. Im tired of working part time doing all the child care housework yard work and feeling like a sexual object in the bedroom, his solution was maybe I should have an affair that terrifies me, am I that repuling that he rather share me with somoene else


Wow, he's over the top and doesn't realize how lucky he is that you are accommodating as much as you have been. As a guy who likes female feet (and has a wife who's not too interested in it) it upsets me to hear of some dude mistreating his wife in the manner you describe. For him to suggest that you have an affair is ridiculous. You are not crazy, abnormal, unreasonable, or any similar adjective. You and husband need counseling ASAP, if he won't go, get out while you can.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> I love my wife's feet and legs.
> Heels ,pantyhose the entire shindig,
> 
> But this guy, [ the OP's husband ] has it really bad!
> ...


:iagree:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> now he wants me to step on him.





> his solution was maybe I should have an affair





Housewife0001 said:


> I dont think there is anything "wrong" with him,


*
Seriously? Nothing wrong with him?*


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

I too have a foot fetish and my wife is really cool about it. I don't have one to the extent of your husband though. My wife is very very dominate so she loves when I rub and touch her feet.


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## nosocks (Sep 30, 2012)

I was tearful when I read your posts as I know how you feel.I am not married but my boyfriend has a foot fetish which I indulge willingly,but I wish I didn't know about it then I feel he would want ME more as a means to get to my feet as he did all his other lovers.Sometimes it is amazing but I agree with you,it does sometimes make us feel like an object and sexual activity is a means to an end.I am happy to incorporate my feet in our sex life but it does take getting used to and can make us feel as non sexual,and you just know he wants to get to your feet.Loving him helps as I'm sure it does you.I couldn't do it if I didn't love him unconditionally.I think it gives me a sense of rejection also,does it you?Do you read all you can on line about this Fetish?I try to understand all I can find.Sometimes I think he would be better off with someone more like him,but I don't want that deep down.I am devoted to only him.I often wonder what it was like when he had sex with his ex wife,if she knew and what he did.Although feet turn him on and give him an instant erection,I don't and it hurts.I don't know how old you two are,I imagine in your 20's if you have a young baby.We are 54,and have only been together for 4 years and all this is new to me.Before I met him I thought a foot fetish meant a man who liked to see a woman in high heels and make love to her in them.Now that I could deal with!


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## nosocks (Sep 30, 2012)

I hope that you managed to read my replies I posted?


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## nosocks (Sep 30, 2012)

My personal opinion at my age and time of life is that if I love him and am willing to compromise as is he then it will work.Of course it won't always and I will feel unloved but I know he can't help it,it is part of him.I just wish he could rein it in sometimes and want only me,not my feet.Love is not all about sex.I would gladly let him do what he wants with my feet every day and be made love to once a fortnight with vanilla sex and be made to feel sexy and loved and a turn on for him.Life isn't perfect and we cannot change people from who they are to who we want them to be,so I accept it,but I don't have to like it.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

His foot fetish goes beyond the realm of "normal" and is in the absurd and creepy category. I really feel for you as you are never going to change that. Then throw in the fact that if you want to be sexually satisfied you either have to "get-off" by the whole foot thing also, or take his suggestion and have an affair. WTH? 

If I were you, I'd put my feet to use running to the nearest divorce lawyer.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

I have a mild female toe fetish, and it's the main thing that brought me to this forum. My fetish doesn't dominate my way of thinking, in fact, I think sucking toes and licking heels is quite disgusting, even more so if they're dirty and smelly. Like T&A, I just like to look and touch.

All that said, my wife has okay feet (I'm not crazy about her longer second toe), but doesn't care to get regular pedicures because she was told by an idiot friend of hers that they don't properly clean the tools at the salons, so she's afraid of contracting something. As a result, her heels and toes are kind of crusty so I want nothing to do with them. My wife does have nice ankles/achilles though. They're nice and thin and defined.


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## gman95901 (May 19, 2011)

We each have our own unique facets to our partialisms. Some like to look and touch, while others like to taste and smell. Some don't mind a pair of feet with Morton's toe while others prefer the toes symmetrical. 

My wife doesn't go to a salon either, instead I do them for her and I even get to choose the color! I came to the conclusion a long time ago that if I could paint small details on a plastic model kit, I certainly should be able to do the same with her nails. She always has well pedicured feet and I get to enjoy the color choice because I made it! Just my two cents....


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

gman95901 said:


> We each have our own unique facets to our partialisms. Some like to look and touch, while others like to taste and smell. Some don't mind a pair of feet with Morton's toe while others prefer the toes symmetrical.
> 
> My wife doesn't go to a salon either, instead I do them for her and I even get to choose the color! I came to the conclusion a long time ago that if I could paint small details on a plastic model kit, I certainly should be able to do the same with her nails. She always has well pedicured feet and I get to enjoy the color choice because I made it! Just my two cents....


I remember when my wife and i were just dating i would also paint her toenails ......... even did the fench nail look which didnt come out too bad IMHO ??? She has perfect feet and i enjoyed this very much as she did too ...... kinda like foreplay perhaps ??

Nowadays she simply runs to the nail salon for her weekly manicure and pedicure ...... with 2 young boys under the age of 5 we dont exactly have the same amount of time as before  ??


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Never understood the foot thing so I can't help.


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## forevermemorable (Oct 19, 2012)

Its called an addiction. There are bad addictions and there are good addictions. In this case with your husband, he views your feet as more value than he does you...and you are not merely an object, which is how you have been feeling.

I personally don't understand what the big deal with feet is...nothing sexual about it at all, but to each of their own. The problem is, when you allow those obsessions to take root in you and all you can have is that one thing. That is not living...that is not life.

I know a cure for his addiction, but it will take a lot to make it happen on both ends. Your husband needs to starve himself of your feet for 3 months! Hide your feet and don't let him play with them, little alone see them for 3 months! Addictions take time to break and they cannot be broken overnight. It takes work to make it work! 3 months is a good amount of time to break an addiction...sometimes in 2 months...each person is different. Starve a cold, is what I say! Best of luck to you!


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Very odd, I may enjoy the site of cute feet but I've never felt compelled to have them on my privates, much less in my mouth. 

This isn't just a small problem though. In fact, his extreme foot fetish is the lesser of the problem.

The elephant in the room is that he doesn't give a damn about your own satisfaction. THAT is a huge problem for any couple. 

If he can't be assed to satisfy you, then don't satisfy him. I'm not saying hold it over, but as long as you keep enabling this fetish its not going away. Go cold turkey. I'd say deprive him until he gets counseling, and not just agrees to it, but where hes sitting in a chair and getting it cause you're gonna have an affair if this keeps up. 

Currently you're sexually and emotionally stifled. Your boundaries will lower if they haven't already, and if the right guy saying the right things comes along, you and the marriage won't stand a chance. 

You may think it isn't likely, but people can find themselves deep in an affair at the drop of a hat, especially if the AP is filling needs that aren't being met by the spouse.


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## gman95901 (May 19, 2011)

forevermemorable said:


> Its called an addiction. There are bad addictions and there are good addictions. In this case with your husband, he views your feet as more value than he does you...and you are not merely an object, which is how you have been feeling.
> 
> I personally don't understand what the big deal with feet is...nothing sexual about it at all, but to each of their own. The problem is, when you allow those obsessions to take root in you and all you can have is that one thing. That is not living...that is not life.
> 
> I know a cure for his addiction, but it will take a lot to make it happen on both ends. Your husband needs to starve himself of your feet for 3 months! Hide your feet and don't let him play with them, little alone see them for 3 months! Addictions take time to break and they cannot be broken overnight. It takes work to make it work! 3 months is a good amount of time to break an addiction...sometimes in 2 months...each person is different. Starve a cold, is what I say! Best of luck to you!


If you are referring to the OP's husband, this is not an addiction as we see with reference to substance abuse, rather it is indeed a fetish and beyond a mere partialism. It is not a cold so applying the same logic to a relationship is hardly the proper analogy. An estimated 1.1% of the population have some sort of partialism to feet, so it should be noted that it is way more common and accepted as it ever has been in the past. So for one to make a bold statement that there is nothing sexual about feet in nature, is prone to offend a large segment of posters here and is rather closed minded in general.

Having said that, what the OP's husband is truly suffering from other than an addiction or a cold, is being what would be termed as a, Class IV Fetishist: High Level Fetishists. For these individuals, the preferred stimulus (e.g., the high heeled shoe and the foot inside of it) takes the place of a sex partner. A partner is not necessary and not even desired. Sexual arousal and activity can take place, just with the preferred stimulus, the fetish. There are therapies available to help such individuals if they are willing to reach out for it, such as cognitive therapy.

But trying to starve such a person like a substance abuser will resolve nothing; the individual will simply move on and find another stimulus to achieve arousal. Like any person who has an issue like this, there has to be a desire to want to become healthy and to want to reach out for said help in order to become more healthy. And until that happens, the issue will not be resolved. 

A foot partialism in general can be a harmless and fun connection for a married couple and many couples here on this forum have enjoyed such a partialism for many decades together. As we have seen here it can deteriorate into something else, but that does not mean that foot partialisms are bad or dangerous. We all have our partialisms and kinks, and everyone who has posted on this thread no doubt has their own. But what we have seen here, is that when we let them control the very nature of who we are, then they control us and become dangerous. The OP's husband needs professional help, but he has to want to be helped, and until he makes that effort, any posts here will be little more than spinning wheels...


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

so Housewife0001 since you posted back in September how are things going now? Any improvement? Or does his passion continue to end at your ankles?


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

Housewife0001 said:


> Hi- Ill try to be quick
> 
> My husband and I have been together for 4 years married for 2. We have a 3 year old and a 6week old.
> 
> ...


Wow.I've done lots of things with my wife's feet and toes.But this far from normal or typical.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I also like my wife's feet, just not a foot fetish. I like them because they're very soft, it's all the softness for me. If he likes your feet, and not any other ladies feet, that's a good thing, right? Why not indulge him more with his foot fetish? Do you have any fantasies or fetish you want him to do for you? Each guy has their own thing they love about their wife and feet are his thing. Have you ever considered he likes to be used with your feet to get things done around the house? You don't like feeling like an object right? But he only does that with you and not some other woman, right? I say, fulfill your fetish with him, and give him his foot fetish. If this totally grosses you out and is still unacceptable, marriage counciling or move on, but just because of feet? Why not over-load him with his foot fetish, he may actually lose interest then and get bored of it.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Last night, my wife and I were on the couch, watching Ice Age 2 and I went to take off her slippers and rub her feet. She tells me, NO, they're cold. So I still took off her slippers and put one foot on my abs. Then she smiles, moves her toes a bit, and put the other foot on my abs. I covered them with my sweater and rubbed them. No complaints then and she liked it.

Usually when we hug, I have her stand bare foot on my feet and I wrap my arms around here, she likes that too.

I like her feet because they're soft, not smell, taste or how they look as much or the shoes she wears.


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## mrsball (Sep 18, 2012)

I haven't read every post (some hit a little too close to home), and I am not sure if the OP is still following this thread but if she is...

I am facing the exact same issue. I have days when I think about the sex my H and I used to have before he told me of his foot fetish, about how desired I felt, about ALL the places he used to touch me, etc... and then I think of how quickly that changed once he told me all about it. You are not alone there.

I think part of it is to do with built up release, my H had never (as far as he has told me) been able to do these things with anyone else, so he kinda went a bits nuts about it. And I was too naive to speak up right a way with a 'one for you, one for me' kind of deal. For about a year solid every time we had sex it was about my feet, and if I denied him, not verbally - just keeping my feet away from his groping hands, then he couldn't finish. It almost killed me. Even now, a couple of years later, I am still struggling with it. It may very well be a similar situation for your H.

It is really obvious to me, when feet haven't played a starring role for a couple of days, that he gets desperate about it. Starts looking at videos or pictures of other women's feet, etc. And there are still times that he can't finish unless my feet are on his face and I am telling him all about what I am going to do with them. It is heartbreaking to think that he is so obsessed with this part of me that I never thought about as part of my sexual being, so I know exactly how it can make you feel.

BUT... it did get better. I had to be really strong, something I am still working on, and make little deals with myself like if he kissed me mouth (which he rarely does) then he could kiss my feet. I also try my best to link what he likes with what I like... so if he wants my feet on his face, then I want his hands on my breasts - I am working on a kind of conditioning theory, that if I keep it up long enough he will link those two things together! I don't know what you have been trying in the past months, all I can say is, even a glimmer of hope is worth keep trying. It is a fascination that has built up over years, it may take years to integrate.

It is also something that is extremely difficult for him to talk about it, send him running, silent treatment or so on, but this is also changing. For example, he rarely touches my feet, or talks about them, outside of the bedroom or the car, but recently bought me a new pair of shoes for our anniversary (first time he has done this in 3 years) and when someone on TV mentioned people being aroused by feet, he said "yeah!" outloud with a little fist pump! I actually thought it was so cute - 2 years ago it probably would have made me cry. 

In the end, 3 years in to this marriage, we are by no means where I want to be sexually but things are immeasurably better than they were before... so with this much progress in 3 years, I hope the next 3 years continue.

Don't know if this helps, but I know how desperately I need to hear from other women dealing with this situation, and not just from men saying how great it all is. I hope, that in even some small way, there is hope for you in many of the comments you have read here.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

mrsball said:


> It is heartbreaking to think that he is so obsessed with this part of me that I never thought about as part of my sexual being, so I know exactly how it can make you feel.


Why is it heartbreaking?It is so common to for a man to like his wife's feet.Probably common enough for you to have some friends whose husbands like their feet as well...........But I still don't get the whole not being able to perform without the feet being involved thing.It is completely uncommon and weird,no offense.How old is your husband if you don't mind me asking?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Special1122 said:


> That's so weird to me because I also have a foot fetish but not the extend to want to lick them and stuff. There is definitely something wrong with him.


There is nothing wrong with licking feet (and every inch of the body) or sucking toes. I get very turned on from this. I die for a foot massage.. 

However I agree with the OP. IF this is the only thing going on there's a problem.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Agreement with others, it is a two way street. Whatever preferences, desires, needs, wants one partner has, the preferences, desires, needs and wants of the other partner need equal time and consideration.
Set aside for a moment the foot stuff and just concentrate on the fact that it sounds like there are a couple guys who are just focused on their needs and not the needs of their wives.
Ladies, tell your guys to get with the program or you'll cover those sexy feet in wool socks.


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