# Is Valentine's Day really just for us women?



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

So I gave hubby my gift to him. A pair of cufflinks he had been eying for a few months. He loves them but said "Honey, you didn't have to do that. Everybody knows that this day is all about the women". Huh? 
I have got him something every year and he never said that before. Maybe he always felt this way but didn't say anything.
Do guys think it is a holiday for women? Is it really? :scratchhead: What do guys REALLY think of this holiday?


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

It's basically a mass market Fitness Test.

The bigger the gift you give the more of a chump you look.

The only way to pass it is to make the day itself seem like just another day and give a _small _token of recognition to it.

Note that you can only carry that off if you're actually managed to have your wife's interest in you fairly high to begin with.


March 14th is for the men. http://www.steakandbjday.com/


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

I think it's a holiday for Hallmark, American Greetings, and any other greeting card company, candy manufacturer and florist out there. Although we get one another cards and maybe a small gift, neither my wife nor I make a particularly big deal out of Valentine's Day. We both think that shows of affection on an assigned day with no other significance, even if genuine, feel a bit forced and artificial. Similar shows of affection - cards, flowers, etc - on completely random days? Those mean more to us. It shows we're thinking of one another "just because," and not because the calendar tells us we're supposed to be romantic today.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Atholk said:


> It's basically a mass market Fitness Test.
> 
> The bigger the gift you give the more of a chump you look.
> 
> ...


Ha ha, Athol. Yes we celebrate that holiday as well and I almost mentioned that Man's sacred day in my post. 
It was an odd comment to me though. Then again, I had to pop in to Walgreen's on my way home today and the place was littered with men buying cards and stuff. Didn't really see any woman doing the same. Why?


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Then again, I had to pop in to Walgreen's on my way home today and the place was littered with men buying cards and stuff. Didn't really see any woman doing the same. Why?


Because that's how the man fails the Fitness Test. They just don't want to be shrieked at for being unromantic when they get home. Keeps their wife happy for about 2 tenths of a seconod though. Then the wives complain that he brought them chocolate and it makes them feel fat and they don't feel sexy when they feel fat.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Atholk said:


> Because that's how the man fails the Fitness Test. They just don't want to be shrieked at for being unromantic when they get home. Keeps their wife happy for about 2 tenths of a seconod though. Then the wives complain that he brought them chocolate and it makes them feel fat and they don't feel sexy when they feel fat.


Do you really feel that way? That all women do is complain? For what it's worth, I don't think I fitness test. I am appreciative of what he does and (now) how he makes me feel.  The more I read here, the more I realize I have a pretty darn awesome dude in my life.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Brennan said:


> Do you really feel that way? That all women do is complain? For what it's worth, I don't think I fitness test. I am appreciative of what he does and (now) how he makes me feel.  The more I read here, the more I realize I have a pretty darn awesome dude in my life.


Brennan,

You don't think the wedding song disappointment was a fitness test?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Brennan,
> 
> You don't think the wedding song disappointment was a fitness test?


Conrad, I have to admit....you are a mystery to me. Would you elaborate in laymens terms? :scratchhead:


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Brennan said:


> Conrad, I have to admit....you are a mystery to me. Would you elaborate in laymens terms? :scratchhead:


Weren't you upset with him because he didn't respond to the Jimmy Durante song played at your wedding?

You wondered why it wasn't as important to him as to you?

I don't think I'm remembering someone else's testimony.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Feel sorry for all these poor men.

Have to buy gifts for their wives on Valentine's Day, have to buy gifts for their wives on Christmas, have to buy gifts for their wives on their birthdays, have to buy gifts for their wives on their anniversary, and the gifts have to be special and meaningful, if not, their wives will feel that they don't love them.

I don't think men care much about gifts, as long as they get sex and food, they are happy. 

Of course they build up their own empire by working hard.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Weren't you upset with him because he didn't respond to the Jimmy Durante song played at your wedding?
> 
> You wondered why it wasn't as important to him as to you?
> 
> I don't think I'm remembering someone else's testimony.


I wasn't upset because he didn't "respond", I was upset that he agreed to have this as "our" song and nearly 17 years later tells me he never liked it. Big difference. I don't view that as a fitness test. What am I missing here? :scratchhead:
Besides, we have already found our new song. It is awesome to say the very least.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Grayson said:


> I think it's a holiday for Hallmark, American Greetings, and any other greeting card company, candy manufacturer and florist out there. Although we get one another cards and maybe a small gift, neither my wife nor I make a particularly big deal out of Valentine's Day. We both think that shows of affection on an assigned day with no other significance, even if genuine, feel a bit forced and artificial. Similar shows of affection - cards, flowers, etc - on completely random days? Those mean more to us. It shows we're thinking of one another "just because," and not because the calendar tells us we're supposed to be romantic today.


:iagree: You can insert Mother's Day and Father's Day in there too. How to wreck two perfectly good Sundays during the best part of the year..Make up a stupid holiday to try and sell stuff and get people to go out to dinner. 

Usually the meal is awful anyway. Last year on Mother's Day my family took me out to my favorite restaurant and the food wasn't nearly as good as it usually is. Better to wait until the following weekend to go out and avoid the crowds. 

I love going out to dinner and don't need a specific day to do so. I hate cards (waste of money). If I get candy it ruins my diet and flowers are fine but they die, which is depressing. 

Bah! Humbug! :rofl:


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## coops (Jan 24, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> Feel sorry for all these poor men.
> 
> Have to buy gifts for their wives on Valentine's Day, have to buy gifts for their wives on Christmas, have to buy gifts for their wives on their birthdays, have to buy gifts for their wives on their anniversary, and the gifts have to be special and meaningful, if not, their wives will feel that they don't love them.
> 
> ...


This year my wife got subway and starbucks :smthumbup:

So much for gifts, cards, flowers and fancy expensive dinners. What can I say, I'm a romantic!

Yes, valentines day is for women. I treat my wife with love and respect every day of the year, valentines day is just a marketing scam.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

coops said:


> This year my wife got subway and starbucks :smthumbup:
> 
> So much for gifts, cards, flowers and fancy expensive dinners. What can I say, I'm a romantic!
> 
> Yes, valentines day is for women. I treat my wife with love and respect every day of the year, valentines day is just a marketing scam.


I like to calculate money we spend on things. 
My husband jokes about me all the time. 

I checked news, in Taiwan, 20 roses this year is NT1,500, which is about $50, with this money, I can buy roses 10 times, I get to have beautiful roses in my living room for ten weeks during normal days. 

A romantic dinner in a nice restaurant is NT2,000, about $70, with this money, I can cook at least 7 delicious meals. Our stomachs are equally satisfied. 

Jewelry, I don't look more beautiful with them on, I don't look less attractive without them, I really don't care much about them. If I do want to wear jewelry, I go to craft store and buy crystals and beads, I can make my own earrings, necklaces, and bracelets, my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and female friends love the stuff I make. I don't know how much money I save by not buying jewelry. A lot I think. 

Love is not about one day, love is about everyday, if you and your wife are in love, if you make her feels secure and happy in the marriage, Valentine's Day and all those other gift giving days are not important at all.

When I need nice clothes, when I want something nice, my husband is there for me all the time, as long as what I want is not ridiculous. He suggests buying this and that for me, which is a very good feeling! Like this time we were in Canada, he suggested buying a leather jacket for me, he thinks I look sexy on it, and it is sexy looking. I don't expect love, I just get it!


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

I don't celebrate valentines day... Don't worry my wife knew this from start, so we don't have any problems regarding this... And no matter who or what, very little could change my mind about this... Now if my employer offered some type of holiday incentive like many other holidays I'd consider it's validity... Other than that it's just the 14th day of the second month, no different than the 23rd day of 8th month... Just another day...

Now let me weigh in on the question at hand... I believe (other than fat cat aristocrats) that Vday is for anybody... The girl in high school waiting for her crush to profess his undying love... The guy who's nervous and anxious to tell his girlfriend he's ready for the next level with a proposal... The bride who can't wait to say this Vday is the first day of the rest of our wedded lives... The guy who after twenty Vday's says I still love her like day one... 

To sum it up... All the hopeless romantics out there... And big business eats this up... Like many, who needs one day to say/show how we feel? There's 364 other chances to... Use a couple hundred...

Hey, just saying...


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

IMO, there is WAY too much railing against valentine's day and the evils of consumerism.

Sure, Hallmark benefits. Sure, we get sucked in. Sure, someone makes a buck off us.
And yes, every good spouse should show love every day, not just once a year, yadda yadda.

But I really don't see anything SO nefarious or wrong about a day that *encourages* people to show love and honor someone special in your life!!! (same goes for mother's day, father's day, etc)
We need to lighten up and step off our high horses, for crying out loud.

Plus, it was NOT "invented by Hallmark." it originated in memory of a man who married people in secret during the rule of a tyrannical emperor who outlawed marriage in the name of his military draft. That emperor had this man killed. 

But to answer the question..my H and I agree that it's a day to do something nice for each other, honor our relationship, and make a special effort.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Just don't get upset over him if he doesn't do things your way!


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

credamdóchasgra said:


> But I really don't see anything SO nefarious or wrong about a day that *encourages* people to show love and honor someone special in your life!!! (same goes for mother's day, father's day, etc)
> We need to lighten up and step off our high horses, for crying out loud.


But it's more often than not an "encouragement". It's more like a "guilt trip". When I was growing up my mother used these holidays as an emotional battering ram. It was awful. I DREADED these holidays! When I got her out of my life the holidays became SO much better. I swore I'd never do that to my kids and I don't. I didn't do it to my husband, which is a good thing because he was awful about celebrating them. 

Holidays like this make life miserable for a lot of people. They set up expectations which usually result in strife and disappointment. They make those who don't have that "special" person in their life (be it a Significant Other or parent) feel like crap by rubbing it in several times a year. The origin might have been honorable and good but it's degenerated into nothing more than a commercially oriented, selfish "I want", "Buy me", "You'd better get me" so-called "celebration" that puts pressure on people to do the "right thing or else" or depresses the hell out of them. What good is that? Don't we have enough stress in our life without creating more? :scratchhead:

The commercials really get me. "If you love her you'd get her a diamond, flower, etc, etc..." Is that sick or what?  I don't want to be that kind of woman or have to be put under that kind of pressure if I was a man. 

Eh, just go out and have fun whenever you want. I have no problem whatsover for those who want to do it, but I also don't have a problem but for those who don't. I'd rather celebrate holidays like 4th of July anyway.


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Just don't get upset over him if he doesn't do things your way!


I didn't! We had a great day! You saw my other post, we were very happy with our V Day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> But it's more often than not an "encouragement". It's more like a "guilt trip". When I was growing up my mother used these holidays as an emotional battering ram. It was awful. I DREADED these holidays! When I got her out of my life the holidays became SO much better. I swore I'd never do that to my kids and I don't. I didn't do it to my husband, which is a good thing because he was awful about celebrating them.
> 
> Holidays like this make life miserable for a lot of people. They set up expectations which usually result in strife and disappointment. They make those who don't have that "special" person in their life (be it a Significant Other or parent) feel like crap by rubbing it in several times a year. The origin might have been honorable and good but it's degenerated into nothing more than a commercially oriented, selfish "I want", "Buy me", "You'd better get me" so-called "celebration" that puts pressure on people to do the "right thing or else" or depresses the hell out of them. What good is that? Don't we have enough stress in our life without creating more? :scratchhead:
> 
> ...


I understand it can add stress to already stressful family situations.

I just think some people get a little preachy and judgemental when others want to celebrate these kinds of holidays, and they come across like they think they're above it.
"to each their own" means "let others celebrate without being negative and raining on their parade."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## surfergirl (Jan 27, 2011)

I think more women than men get a kick out of Valentines Day but I don't think it's just for women - I think it's for anyone who wants to get in to the spirit of the day.

I guess it's like everything else....it's what you make it. 

I love to celebrate all the holidays....it's not about spending a stack of money or getting lost in the hype of it all - it's about having fun and enjoying the company you are doing it with. That's how it is for me anyway.

We all know that Valentines Day isn't the only day of the year we have to profess our undying love to that someone special....but it is a day so why not use it I say.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Yes and the companys that make a living upping the price of everything to do with such holidays.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

I seriously think it's a commercial holiday. With way too much pressure and competition. I mean, lovers celebrate anniversaries and birthdays. This is just another day. My H says it's a woman's holiday, but I don't know. I think the whole Steak and BJ Day on March 14th is hilarious.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Atholk said:


> It's basically a mass market Fitness Test.
> 
> The bigger the gift you give the more of a chump you look.


My husband must be "the Man" then cause he didnt spend a penny. I didn't expect anything material, I never care about these things. He knows all I wanted was him.  

He did tell me later that night he almost sent me an E-card -and was going to write a little something in it, but he saved it cause he felt I might get unwanted junk email. I told him I loved the thought, then he told me what he was going to write. 

We made it a very memorable morning-once the kids got on the bus - I dressed up like a French Maid, we took some Valentines pics of ourselves, tried a new position on the computer chair. Although he didn't get his steak, he didn't have to wait till March 14th for the other.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

credamdóchasgra said:


> I didn't! We had a great day! You saw my other post, we were very happy with our V Day.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am talking about life in general, not just that day, all the days and holidays in the future!

We had sex three times that day, still nothing special, because we do this often!


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> I am talking about life in general, not just that day, all the days and holidays in the future!
> 
> We had sex three times that day, still nothing special, because we do this often!


Yes. This entire board knows I am making every effort to that end.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Ahem, well as a woman who finally got her husband to show how much he appreciates me, yeah this holiday meant a HELL of a lot to me. We had a blast, just a total blast. We both agreed that from now on, Saturday night is our night. We will go out and stick our eldest son to "babysit" his brother. 
At the bar we were in, Hubby turns to me and said "You are so much fun. Wow, how have I ignored that all these years?" The first thought that screamed through my head was "Well dumbass, it's because you would rather play computer games". My ACTUAL response was "You will continue to see how much fun I am, let's go out every Saturday night". We will and I will wear higher heels next time. Ha ha.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

With rare exception Hallmark greeting card holidays are trivialized and not focused on men.


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## bingofuel (Jan 27, 2011)

I bought her a message/man/ped. I didn't even get a FU or anything. I was informed it WAS all about the woman anyway--What the hell isn't....At least I won't catch a **** hammer for not trying, it was worth the buck & a quarter just for that....


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Well, I couldn't care less for Valentine's Day. My girl couldn't care less as well. We don't do much for VD except for "exercise".


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Draguna said:


> Well, I couldn't care less for Valentine's Day. My girl couldn't care less as well. We don't do much for VD except for "exercise".


My father-in-law was joking about my husband for doing very little exercises during dinner time.

So I said: He doesn't exercise, he sexercises.

The whole family was laughing, they are a group of witnesses! 

They didn't expect that I am this bold!


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## Bad News (Nov 4, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Feel sorry for all these poor men.
> 
> Have to buy gifts for their wives on Valentine's Day, have to buy gifts for their wives on Christmas, have to buy gifts for their wives on their birthdays, have to buy gifts for their wives on their anniversary, and the gifts have to be special and meaningful, if not, their wives will feel that they don't love them.


Is this sarcasm, not sure?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Bad News said:


> Is this sarcasm, not sure?


What do you mean?

Why do you think this is sarcasm?

If you are the man, don't you think the same?

Your snake head is interesting!


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Brennan said:


> At the bar we were in, Hubby turns to me and said "You are so much fun. Wow, how have I ignored that all these years?" The first thought that screamed through my head was "Well dumbass, it's because you would rather play computer games". My ACTUAL response was "You will continue to see how much fun I am, let's go out every Saturday night". We will and I will wear higher heels next time. Ha ha.


Wow, a year ago I could've written that... I sure hope it lasts for you. Didn't for me. It's a damn shame, because for so long it's what we did together. We'd take a night and do dinner, dancing, check out the bands, etc. It was so much fun. And he'd say things like how fun I am, how perfect we are..

Then the dream became a nightmare.  I hope you continue to live a dream. Best of luck and enjoy.


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## Bad News (Nov 4, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> What do you mean?
> 
> Why do you think this is sarcasm?
> 
> ...


Perhaps I misjudged, reading the whole thread I see you weren't being sarcastic - it just read that way to me. As far as my avatar (Jungle Book Pyton) and user name (Bad News), they both have meaning just not an obvious one. BTW, I enjoy many of your TAM posts!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

its a chick holiday, and mine has done nothing to deserve being recognized. 

ok, reality is we dont "celebrate" valentines day at all. we have an aggreement about spending money needlessly and this is her idea. i did kiss her neck sweetly and asked her to be my valentine, and she said yes and continued to mop the floor


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