# Ex wants to reconcile - Just discovered she slept with my twin.



## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

First time poster, so be gentle on me. 

Back in 2004 I began dating a wonderful girl. From the first time we met it was obvious to both of us that we had a very strong connection. We got along like best friends, pushed each other to be happier and more successful in other areas of life, had fun, and made a great team. Every little thing we did together was like an adventure. We had a mutual respect I think is rare in couples, and we learned so much from each other. It was a rare and wonderful relationship, and it blossomed into a serious committed relationship.

Our friends and family supported our relationship, and we eventually moved into a apartment together. I was just starting my career at the time and she was just starting a post grad course at university. We were poor, but we loved every minute of our little life together.

Living together was great, but her hectic school schedule combined with my hectic work schedule had an impact on our level of intimacy. I felt ignored, and found myself frequenting bars with friends on the weekends. I wasfairly naive back then, thinking I had enough self control to drink with my single friends and keep my nose out of trouble. As most of you already know, I was headed for disaster. 

One evening in 2008 I had a drunken ONS with a girl I met at the bar. Within a week of the ONS she found out. I was planning on telling her, but I am sure I would have dragged it out. 

After the discovery, I gave her full disclosure and truly wanted to reconcile. She did not want to be in a relationship where she had doubts, and decided to end the relationship. I respected her decision and she moved out.

When I say I respected her decision, I really mean it. She was a very confident, very intelligent and very thoughtful person. When she made a decision, it was always after extensive consideration. (notice how I use 'was' instead of 'is'. Keep reading!) I wasn't going to change her mind. She didn't want anxiety and mistrust to taint her school work and life, and decided the best thing to due was to cut me out. This may seem extreme, but this is one of the things I respected most about her. She was very thoughtful and decisive rather than emotional and impulsive.

Every day since my ONS and the break up I thought about her. I truly accepted she was out of my life and I recognized the fact I fouled up the type of relationship few people experience. I eventually moved on, forgave myself, and made sure I learned from the experience. I dated casually, but nothing serious has materialized for me since then.

Fast forward to 2010. I moved to the big city to take an exciting new job. My mother and friends kept in touch with her, so I was aware that she finished her post grad course and had entered the working world. As she lived a few hours away, I decided to get in touch with her via facebook.

She responded, and was interested in catching up. Over the next few months we shared brief messages, talked about where life had taken us, gossiped about old friends, etc. I honestly had no motives or expectations beyond getting back in touch casually. To me it was a wonderful relief to know that she had forgiven me, and that we could just communicate again. I missed her friendship.

After a few months, our messages/e-mails were at the frequency you would expect with a good friend. Although our communication was friendly and enjoyable, we did not enter into emotional territory. I visited her city for a music festival in the summer of 2011, and had drinks with her a guy she was dating casually at the time. She would visit my city, and we would grab drinks with mutual friends. It was all very casual, and I was very happy that my ex was in my life as a friend. 

Fast forward to April of 2012. My ex gets a job working in my city. She was very excited as it was a step forward in her career. After her move, we hang out about once to twice a week. Again, nothing emotional or physical, just good friends hanging out. 

Fast forward to mid June 2012. I attend a concert with a group of friends, including my ex. Within minutes of arriving, she tells me that she still loves me, and believes that our relationship was one of the most positive things in her life. I am stunned as I had accepted years ago that we would never be a couple again.

We leave the concert together. We talk extensively about our past, the future, etc. We sleep together, and in the morning discuss the prospect of resuming our relationship, and the potential of life together. I was still in disbelief, but I was very happy.

The weekend ended and we resumed our hectic lives. She was being a little evasive the following week, but i decided that was likely due to the dramatic nature of what had occurred between us. I was still on cloud nine.

This past week I had to travel out of town for a good friend's wedding. While speaking with a friend of my twin brother's after the ceremony, I find out that she has a secret I should know about; My twin brother slept with my ex shortly after she moved to my city. 

I call and text my brother extensively to get the truth. After a few hours he admits they slept together. Apparently they got together for drinks shortly after she arrived in the city and the slept together. He also admits prior to sleeping with her, she admitted to him that she thought she was still in love with me.

After getting the details from brother, I contact my ex. I unload on her. I am currently not speaking to both of them.

I need advice on the following:

My Ex

Technically speaking, we weren't seeing each other when she slept with my twin, so she wasn't cheating. That said, what she did is pretty slimy and out of character for her. She can do what she wants, but it is unacceptable for her to tell me that she loves me and wants to be with me AFTER bumping uglies with my twin. 

The sad thing is that I actually believe she loves me. Despite this fact, I don't think I can look past this. What kind of person behaves this way? 

I am thinking I should cut my losses and run. Thoughts?

My Brother

I cannot believe that my own blood would do that to me. If he had come to me right after it happened and owned it, it would be much easier to forgive him. He didn't, and now I know I can't trust him. How do I move forward with him? Thoughts?

Also, my twin is in committed and serious relationship with his CL spouse of 5 years. Do I expose? He's cheated on her before, but I didn't want to get involved in that part of his life. Now that he has involved me, I am considering informing his common law spouse. Any thoughts?

Ugh. My life is a soap opera plot!


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Blood is blood. Leave her out of your life, and forgive your brother. And don't expose anything in your twin's life -- do you really want to start that kind of intrafamilial war?

I don't mean to be glib, though, this sounds incredibly painful, and I'm sorry for that.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm with lamaga the ex needs to go and don't expose your brother.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I wouldn't be with anyone who slept with my brother. That said, what he did was a real betrayal and I can't imagine not exposing him.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Really, Working? In 20 years he'll still be your brother, while the gf will just be a distant memory.

Bridges. Not a great idea to burn them with family, especially with a twin.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Ditch the ex, expose your twin to your parents.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If my own twin brother did that to me he would need to face consequences. Not sure I could forgive him. Then again, I've never been faced with it, as my brother is a stand up guy so I can't really say for sure.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Well, keko, I'm a stepparent to twins, and if one of them "exposed" like this, we would be appalled -- much more at the immaturity of that than at the sleeping with the gf. I guess everyone's mileage varies.

Anyway, OP -- tough spot and I wish you all the best.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I agree with all above

The Ex knew she was moving to your town and she knew he was your brother!


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

The reason I have hesitated to expose to my brother is because of all the drama and negativity that will follow me. Do I really want to devote more time, energy, and emotion into this grim situation? For this reason I am leaning towards not exposing to his CL spouse.

Keko - I have exposed to parents. They are disgusted with my brother, and so disappointed with my ex. They really liked her, and were always hoping we would somehow end up together.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

lamaga: As for exposing to the parents, I just feel like some accountability will make him think a little harder before he acts.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Well, keko, I'm a stepparent to twins, and if one of them "exposed" like this, we would be appalled -- much more at the immaturity of that than at the sleeping with the gf.


Im sure you would. Wouldn't expect otherwise from you.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Bodacious, it's your life, and I wish you well as you reassemble all this wreckage.

Keko, there's no need to be ugly.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Keko, there's no need to be ugly.


Ugliness resides in the example you gave.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

Your input is appreciated.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

BodaciousBog said:


> Keko - I have exposed to parents. They are disgusted with my brother, and so disappointed with my ex. They really liked her, and were always hoping we would somehow end up together.


It is unfortunate to experience it this way but who you thought she was and who she really is are totally different.

I think you should take off a few days or go on vacation to distract yourself then close the book on her for sure.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

Honestly while I agree to some extent with the others did she sleep with him after she started chatting with you again? I am a little confused with the timeline? Either way honestly you are a man and men think differently on these sort of terms... It always kills me though lol 
Let me break this down for ya from my thought process....

She slepted with your brother one night...and quickly regretted it and told him that she might still be in love with you...Ya'll weren't together.... 
You slepted with someone when ya'll were in a serious relationship...
IF she would have slept with him while ya'll were together I could see the issue... 
You have to ask yourself a question do you want to be with her? If the answer is yes if she can forgive you and move past you literally cheating on her I think you can forgive her sleeping with your brother when ya'll were long over with...

As for the brother... why would you be ok with him being a cheater...what makes it any better for him that he did it. He knew you still cared for her right? or not?
I just think if your gonna punish one you should punish the other.....

On a side note though I would have kept my family out of the business honestly because you already just exposed it completely.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I think it shows what type of character your twin has. Would he sleep with your wife if you were married? Would those saying don't expose the twin change their tune if this was his wife, and not a girlfriend?

I would probably have nothing to do sister if she slept with a serious boyfriend or a husband of mine. Yes she's blood, yes we'll always be sisters, but almost every cheater, scumbag, rapist, murderer, etc is a son/daughter/sister/brother/etc. We can't choose our family and sometimes we have family that have bad character flaws. I for one don't care for "blood is thicker than water" If my sister sleeps with my man, he's out on the curb and she's no longer going to be involved in my life. End of story. If my sister could so easily hurt me like that, I don't want to be around her.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

I think we are punishing her for something that although wasn't entirely right who are we to judge her...They WEREN'T together when it happened and this is many years after their breakup


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

Scared and keko, thanks for the feedback. 

I think I need more time before I decide how I want to deal with my brother. The worst part is that in every apology he has offered up, he makes sure to say, "don't tell my CL spouse!'. What kind of apology is that?


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

BodaciousBog said:


> Scared and keko, thanks for the feedback.
> 
> I think I need more time before I decide how I want to deal with my brother. The worst part is that in every apology he has offered up, he makes sure to say, "don't tell my CL spouse!'. What kind of apology is that?


It's not...It's a i'm only sorry if you don't rat me out. Or please don't tell on me i'm sorry....


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Your twin brother is a scumbag.
In one fell swoop he betrayed his brother and his wife.
Why would you want him in your life?

Your girl revealed who she is.... Believe it and dont' be in love with an old fantasy. Move on from her. 

As far as your brother, you should tell him he is a scumbag... Don't go out of your way to tell everyone else, but there is no reason to hide it or hide from it either.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

Sculley, she told him prior about a month prior to them sleeping together that she believed she was still in love with me. So it appears my brother had knowledge that a reconciliation might have been possible. Also, he knew she was special to me. 

Also, if they had approached me right after it happened.

It was a ONS as far as I can tell, so it's not like they have a burning passion for each other. Just impulsive selfish behaviour.

I think i dodged a bullet with her. She's obviously not the kind of person I thought she was. I just wish I didn't have to learn about her true character this way.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

Hicks - Good input. You're reading my mind,


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

sculley said:


> I think we are punishing her for something that although wasn't entirely right who are we to judge her...They WEREN'T together when it happened and this is many years after their breakup


The reason I am judging her is because she slept with me and told me she wanted to be with me only about a month after sleeping with my brother. Considering the circumstances, I think she had an obligation to disclose the fact she slept with my twin.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Now you have to do your brothers wife. Damn.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Joking....


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## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

Hi Bode: You said

"Also, my twin is in committed and serious relationship with his CL spouse of 5 years. Do I expose? He's cheated on her before, but I didn't want to get involved in that part of his life. Now that he has involved me, I am considering informing his common law spouse. Any thoughts?"

My reaction is your brother is a slime ball and would sleep with anyone for a piece of as* judging by his track record. He has cheated on his CL wife before and really is one selfish SOB.

Not only has he hurt you but he constantly constantly is hurting his CL wife.

My take on this if you ignore his actions -- you are just enabling him to continue to cheat and hurt others. I think it is about time he grows up and acts like a man.

As far as ex --- tell her to have a nice life -- you can and will do better. Taking her back will only make your life miserable as you will never ever forget what she and your brother did.

One more thing about your brother -- he did this to hurt you and he succeeded.

One more thing -- google Natasha Giggs -- in the UK -- and read her story.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Won't read all the replies, but your twin should be the one to disclose his indiscretion to his CL wife. Make him tell her. Why should SHE have to be in the dark? Why would you keep this secret for your ex OR for your brother? Who are you protecting and what message are you sending?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

BodaciousBog said:


> Scared and keko, thanks for the feedback.
> 
> I think I need more time before I decide how I want to deal with my brother. The worst part is that in every apology he has offered up, he makes sure to say, "don't tell my CL spouse!'. What kind of apology is that?


It isn't an apology, he's just trying to cover his own ass. Jerk.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

BodaciousBog said:


> The reason I am judging her is because she slept with me and told me she wanted to be with me only about a month after sleeping with my brother. Considering the circumstances, I think she had an obligation to disclose the fact she slept with my twin.


Not saying it's right maybe she didn't feel like it was worth mentioning at that moment...I mean it would be pretty bad if she says the morning after ya'll sleep together oh by the way....lol Question how long after ya'll slept together did you find out from your brothers friend? You sure she wasn't going to discuss it with you? I just think the timing might have been ****ty how far into getting back together were ya'll? Just so many variables....but you sound as if you have already made up your mind on what your going to do either way.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

sculley said:


> Not saying it's right maybe she didn't feel like it was worth mentioning at that moment...I mean it would be pretty bad if she says the morning after ya'll sleep together oh by the way....lol Question how long after ya'll slept together did you find out from your brothers friend? You sure she wasn't going to discuss it with you? I just think the timing might have been ****ty how far into getting back together were ya'll? Just so many variables....but you sound as if you have already made up your mind on what your going to do either way.


My brother told me that she didn't want me to ever find out, so I am going to assume she had no plans to tell me.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

BodaciousBog said:


> My brother told me that she didn't want me to ever find out, so I am going to assume she had no plans to tell me.



Honestly at this point I wouldn't listen to ANYTHING your brother says he didn't exactly come up and tell you anything either infact didn't he brag to a friend about it???????


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

Angel, in my mind the part that was wrong was not telling me what happened before she told me she wanted to reconcile. 

Also, and I neglected to point this out, she knew my brother was in a serious relationship. So she is wrong on that front.

I guess this point don't really matter because I am certain about how to handle her. I am walking away from her.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> While I don't think she did anything "wrong", I do think that sleeping with your brother was a low blow. Even if you guys didn't have plans to get back together it would still be below the belt. Did she say why she did it? Were they drinking? I mean, I just can't understand how she could tell him that she loved you and then 1 month later end up in bed with him...I am not sure that I could forgive something like that, especially when you consider that she didn't tell you upfront.
> 
> Also, I agree with Candie. Make him tell his SO. *Tell him, "you tell her or I will".* She has a right to know. Or, better yet. You should tell your ex that she needs to do the right thing and tell his SO. This takes you completely out of the equation and doesn't make it seem like you look vengeful, even though you have every right to be.


^^This. And that is what I would do if either of my sisters cheated on their husbands.


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## resetbuttonpushed (May 13, 2012)

BB.... I have a friend who is a twin.... I consulted her for her opinion... she said her and her twin sometimes play games on purpose, and also that there have been situations where when a past lover was hung up on one of them, they pursued the other, even if only for a night, to get fulfillment because somewhere deep psychologically it is almost like the same person.. .does that make it right no..... also, you were not dating her. FORGIVE your brother.... her, done deal, can't forgive that, you will not be able to welcome her to the family, ever marry her, etc, knowing she slept with your twin brother, but recognize, when the brother did it, you two were over.... and when she did it, you two were over, granted if she was sooooo in love with you, she would've never slept with a family member.... i see your point there, but forgive your brother. You said yourself "My ex gets a job working in my city. She was very excited as it was a step forward in her career. After her move, we hang out about once to twice a week. Again, nothing emotional or physical, just good friends hanging out." and that the thing happened with them just after she moved there....


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Angel5112 said:


> I mean, I just can't understand how she could tell him that she loved you and then 1 month later end up in bed with him...


Simple to understand.... she's a skank.


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Really, Working? In 20 years he'll still be your brother, while the gf will just be a distant memory.
> 
> Bridges. Not a great idea to burn them with family, especially with a twin.


umm... didnt the twin burn himself by sleeping with his brothers gf????

way to victim blame.

the twin will still be his brother in 20 years if he gets exposed or not, so your point is irrelevant.


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## TheFamilyStone (Jun 26, 2012)

OUCH! I would not resume anything with someone who slept with my twin. Blood is thicker than water my friend. She did it once she'd probably do it again.


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## Rawrdonstein (Jun 14, 2012)

Let her stay an Ex

Thank your brother for helping you find out what kind of tramp she was.

Say no hard feelings bro,

Then kick his ass

That's what I would do but then again we handle things differently here in Dixie.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

I still think its rather sad how everyone is cool with him being close to his brother. He knew that his brother still had feelings for her. He is as much garbage as everyone is claiming she is what makes you think his brother wouldn't sleep with the next girl that the op was with or had feelings for. If he is going to write her out of his life for sleeping with his bro it's only fair the brother get the same treatment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

I also think its rather sad that he took the time to get the brothers side of things and then took his word as gold, let's remember that the brother didn't come to fess up either he was going to take it to his grave
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

blood may be thicker than water and all that but just because someone is family doesn't mean you have to eat sh*t from them

sounds like you don't need either of them in your life, frankly


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I dont understand the outrage?

She was emotionally attached to you still but NOT together with you. She could sleep with whoever she chose to included your brother. Not the best choice but not cheating either.

I'd say this is more of a faux pas than a grave wrong.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

you guys were broken up for a long while.


I would have no hard feeling towards my brother. yes hes a cheater .But so are you you cheated on her while you were in a relationship. all the blame lies on you you made the first poor decision and it seem your twin is a cheater just like you.

mybe she the lucky one for finding out that both of you are not of very good charachter and she should be the one to move on.

as for your brother and him cheating on his wife ......well she will catch him eventually I'd stay out of it maybe give him some good heart felt advice to clean up his act or hes headding for trouble.

yea it would be awkward at family functions maybe you guys could have a threesome in the bathroom when everybody else is singing happy birthday .

time to move on and find someone who you can trust and love


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

sinnister said:


> I dont understand the outrage?
> 
> She was emotionally attached to you still but NOT together with you. She could sleep with whoever she chose to included your brother. Not the best choice but not cheating either.
> 
> I'd say this is more of a faux pas than a grave wrong.


I agree with this post. She wasn't in an exclusive relationship with you when she slept with your brother. It could easily just be "Joe Smith" from across town. And she could have told Joe "I'm still in love with my Ex" . Would you still get upset over that?

Your brother? Well, he's got his own issues. But it's not like he slept with your "current" girlfriend. You said it yourself, you were just friends with the ex at the time.

Faux pas, indeed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

alphaomega said:


> I agree with this post. She wasn't in an exclusive relationship with you when she slept with your brother. It could easily just be "Joe Smith" from across town. And she could have told Joe "I'm still in love with my Ex" . Would you still get upset over that?
> 
> Your brother? Well, he's got his own issues. But it's not like he slept with your "current" girlfriend. You said it yourself, you were just friends with the ex at the time.
> 
> ...


You and a few others are leaving out a detail I believe is important. Yes, we weren't seeing each other and she was free to sleep with however she wanted, but I think she had an obligation to tell me she slept with my brother at the time she started talking reconciliation.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Simple to understand.... she's a skank.


I think that's it. She likes the idea of us getting back together, but she also wants to do whatever the hell she wants with zero accountability. She can't have it both ways.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

sculley said:


> I also think its rather sad that he took the time to get the brothers side of things and then took his word as gold, let's remember that the brother didn't come to fess up either he was going to take it to his grave
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I didn't take the time to get my brother's story. I had him verbally confirm he slept with her, and then I hacked his facebook and read their conversations. This is where I confirmed some of the other info.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

BodaciousBog said:


> You and a few others are leaving out a detail I believe is important. Yes, we weren't seeing each other and she was free to sleep with however she wanted, but I think she had an obligation to tell me she slept with my brother at the time she started talking reconciliation.


I think your brother had an obligation to tell you she was a **** and then you guys could have compaired notes and laughed about it as you moved on to something new and worthy.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

alphaomega said:


> I agree with this post. She wasn't in an exclusive relationship with you when she slept with your brother. It could easily just be "Joe Smith" from across town. And she could have told Joe "I'm still in love with my Ex" . Would you still get upset over that?
> 
> Your brother? Well, he's got his own issues. But it's not like he slept with your "current" girlfriend. You said it yourself, you were just friends with the ex at the time.
> 
> ...


No I wouldn't have been upset with the Joe scenario. What I am very upset with is that she attempted to reconcile with me without telling me she slept with my brother. I think she should have given me the opportunity to decide if I could accept that before she started to pull on my heart strings. 

Also, I wouldn't expect 'Joe' to care that she still loved me. I would however expect that once she told me brother that, he would stay out of her bed.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> I think your brother had an obligation to tell you she was a **** and then you guys could have compaired notes and laughed about it as you moved on to something new and worthy.


Exactly. If he had told me, this would have all been sorted out with a night of beers and maybe a scrap. We would be laughing about it now.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I wouldn't be with anyone who slept with my brother. That said, what he did was a real betrayal and I can't imagine not exposing him.


Agreed. 

Whether or not he is your brother holds no sway with me. 

He betrayed you. 

And, IMO, his betrayal is worse than your Ex's. 

You are not even married to her. You are however related to your brother. 

What a slime bag your bro' is.


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

C'mon she had to know on some level that you would be upset when you found out and that it would damage any chances of R.She at the very least has poor boundaries.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

I guess the bottom line here is that her true character has been exposed. Cut ties, move on, and be thankful this happened now and not in a few months/years.

As for my bro, still not sure. He asked to get beers last night. Is there anything a night of drinks can't solve? What if I just kick his ass and call it even?


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

Honestly I think this is so double standard......just my opinion. Double standard that has been around for years a women does something out of character for once and she is labeled "skank, **** etc" a guy does it it's ok after an ass whoppin or a moment of cross or they even get a high five..... Just sad enough said


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

BodaciousBog said:


> I guess the bottom line here is that her true character has been exposed. Cut ties, move on, and be thankful this happened now and not in a few months/years.
> 
> As for my bro, still not sure. He asked to get beers last night. Is there anything a night of drinks can't solve? What if I just kick his ass and call it even?


go have beers with him and sort it out!

be the bigger man and teach you brother what type of charachter you have and maybe he will respect you and want to be like you. but always be a little suspicious of him. 


I keep her around for a friends with benifits. sounds like thats all she good for!!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

sculley said:


> Honestly I think this is so double standard......just my opinion. Double standard that has been around for years a women does something out of character for once and she is labeled "skank, **** etc" a guy does it it's ok after an ass whoppin or a moment of cross or they even get a high five..... Just sad enough said


yep the world is full of double standards.

learn to navigate them is the best you can do!


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

I don't know how the laws are up in Canada but I would try to avoid getting physical with him. Maybe I overlooked it but does his wife know it as well?


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## xena74 (May 5, 2012)

When my sister in law popped up pregnate and admitted she was sleeping not only with her husband (my brother) AND cheating on him with my other brother, we had ourselves one big southern brawl! Fists flew and shotguns too. (we are really ********!) After they worked it out, all was good. They divorsed and she marrried the other brother. Been 21 years now, and they all get along fine. :scratchhead: 

I could not do it, but who am I to judge.

You were not together at the time, she had a lapse in judgment to say the least. Kick your brothers butt, and be done with it.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

sculley said:


> Honestly I think this is so double standard......just my opinion. Double standard that has been around for years a women does something out of character for once and she is labeled "skank, **** etc" a guy does it it's ok after an ass whoppin or a moment of cross or they even get a high five..... Just sad enough said


I understand what you're saying, but he's my brother. I don't think cutting him out is a realistic option. 

If he was just a friend I would cut them both out.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> yep the world is full of double standards.
> 
> learn to navigate them is the best you can do!


Yeah I know what your saying still doesn't make them right.


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## sculley (Jun 6, 2012)

I think if your gonna keep the brother around you should keep the ex around as a friend..... that's what you guys were when she slept with him.....


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

sculley said:


> I think if your gonna keep the brother around you should keep the ex around as a friend..... that's what you guys were when she slept with him.....


I disagree. She obviously has conflicting feelings, and i would be difficult to just be friends knowing that. Also, what is she going to do when she I start dating someone else? Try and screw it up?

Not worth the risks.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

BodaciousBog said:


> You and a few others are leaving out a detail I believe is important. Yes, we weren't seeing each other and she was free to sleep with however she wanted, but I think she had an obligation to tell me she slept with my brother at the time she started talking reconciliation.


I dont know man...I agree. But to me that's not a deal breaker. And I would put more of that on your brother than her.


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## BodaciousBog (Jun 28, 2012)

keko said:


> I don't know how the laws are up in Canada but I would try to avoid getting physical with him. Maybe I overlooked it but does his wife know it as well?


If we strap skates on and duke it out on an ice surface, pretty much anything is legal


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

BodaciousBog said:


> If we strap skates on and duke it out on an ice surface, pretty much anything is legal


Or just go out to a field and have it out old school. You're twins so you should be evenly matched. I'm sure he has some old festering grudges against you that may have contributed to him seducing and bedding your ex. He knew doing so would get your goad. 

Roll around on the grass for a while and get it out of your systems. Then go back to being gracious to each other. Then tell the ex to take a hike and never contact you again.


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