# 3 Year Unhappy Marriage



## unreal (Mar 12, 2011)

Hi,

Been married now for just over 3 years and we have tried and failed to create love between us. We do get on slightly but there is alot of tension between us due to me financially can't find work in my line as no one is getting work plus don't have the money to start a new business or getting any support from anyone. Plus, my wife refuses to help me out despite me not working and replying on state benefits. Also, she feels I am not trying to look for work being lazy sitting at my computer all day which I am actually learning new things which she doesn't understand that everywhere computers are used and most of the time people sit on them and do WORK. 

We are from 2 different cultures struggle to communicate properly which is what I expected but its been 3 and a half years and doesn't seem to get any better there's misunderstanding and allot of silence in our marriage. She feels life is A B C rather than what I see as a roller-coaster ride for me anyway she wants everything perfect which I cannot give her. 

The main thing is I realised that after 3 1/2 years I do not love her that I thought I did before marriage. Is it worth continuing this marriage if you don't see a future. I am not having kids as our marriage isn't solid and also she doesn't want a daughter as she says women are evil and cause conflicts which has put me off having any kids at all. 

She expect me to make my own food most of the time and she makes it when she feels like it. I don't mind making food now and again we she is unwell but when its like 85% of the time then it shows me how much she cares plus she doesn't make anything special for me to make. She is very lazy and always complains she is ill like 4-5 days per week either headaches, sore back, menses the lot I am sick of it. Somehow she loves to listen to bad news on TV murders, homicides and loves to tell them to me and I am sick of it told her several times tell me good news she looks weirdly at me. I said I am sick and tired of all these murders as well I have had enough turn the tv off. 

She doesn't dress attractively go straight into her pjymas and straight to bed for a 6 hour day nap! Leaving me to myself and make my own food and eat myself. 

She is away back to her country and I feel this the right time to call it to and end what do you guys feel anyway back? 

I have written down 1000 incidents/issues with very few good times we have have like our wedding day and honey moon and holiday apart from that if i knew marriage was like this I would never of got married in the first place. It's changed my whole perception of marriage. Thanks.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

If you had happiness before, it isn't impossible to get it back. If there wasn't happiness before, there probably isn't hope.

To fix this, you probably need MC. There may be a large culture difference and very different expectations. 

Whatever you do, don't wait. You will only be in a worse spot months from now. I suggest MC and figure out if it'll work. Otherwise, give THE BIG ultimatum and go from there.

Marriage isn't like that for everybody. Find out if you can be happy with your wife.

Which Marriages Are Worth Saving?
Do I Really Need A Marriage Counselor?
How to Save Your Marriage
How To Find Affordable Marriage Counseling


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