# I'm i being paranoid here?



## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

I busted my wife on dday by her cell phone which had texts to and from the OM. In anger, I ended up throwing her phone and breaking it. 

Here it is a few months into R and things are going well. Her not having a cell is inconvenient and I've been wanting to get one. Our contract still has a few months to go so we can't upgrade yet. I'm still paying for both lines and just got an email for an early upgrade.

Thing is, she seems very hesitant to get a phone. It just strikes me as odd. Why is she hesitant? I don't know why it's bothering me. I would think she would want one again but the fact that's she's so hesitant is making me think paranoid thoughts.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Maybe she is not wanting the pressure of not contacting others and the constant trust issues that arise from the phone, and her not wanting to show you and you not wanting to have to ask to see it yet still concerned that something is happening. 

I did the same thing with FB (closed my account as was not really using it anyway, and then she , the WS, decided to close hers to just remove everything from her end, temptation, resentment, fear, etc that accompanied it).


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## raven3321 (Sep 25, 2013)

Not odd at all IMO. If it was the avenue of her affair, she might not want one because it's a trigger for her. Let me put it another way; when you're addicted to something, anything that was used in your addiction is a reminder. You fear to be near it. When I was heavily into porn, I used to use a particular route to go home after work. Several times I would end at at a particular adult bookstore. This went on awhile until I changed my route. As silly as that simple diversion was, it worked. I to this day don't use that other route anymore. Those few times I had to go that way, the same feelings came back up immediately when I past by the store.

Point being, the phone itself was enabling her habit (OM). She identifies with it and she might be fearing that habit might start up again. I say it's a good thing she doesn't want the phone. Deal with the inconvenience for the moment. It's better than the alternative.


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## nickgtg (Jan 11, 2013)

Perhaps she has another one and by not asking you for one she feels like there's no chance of you catching her again. 

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 4


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Some people are just weird about cell phones. I bugged my hubby for YEARS to get one. He finally did - when some slimey 'model' from the internet who was scamming him convinced him to get one to communicate with HER. When I kicked him out he kept the same one for a couple of weeks then threw it in a dumpster and got a new one and a new number. And THEN he resented ME for having a cell phone.

We worked that all out in MC, but even to this day he just doesn't like having a cell phone. It isn't a trigger - he's always been like this.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

Not at all odd.

My wife abandoned all means of social networking on my discovery and does not use them at all bar a rare occasion and even then notifies me when/if she does use them, she knows where it went wrong and I think your wife does too, she knows that she needs to be in control of her situation and if she is happier not to have a phone knowing that not having one causes no harm or instigates those triggers then so be it, you could get a pager for her? I used to have one of them before I got a cell phone.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

It's also often the case that you can get 'unused' to something and decide that life is pretty good without it. It wasn't too long ago that no one had a cell phone. Perhaps she thinks it wasn't so good for her and knows now that she can live without it (?).


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

wranglerman said:


> you could get a pager for her? I used to have one of them before I got a cell phone.


Then again you might not be able too. I know they are still out there, but I haven't seen a place to get one in years, literally.:smthumbup:


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

tough one. I'd look for another phone.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

She probably feels liberated. Temptation of contacting OM is gone. 

Personally I think it would be great to chuck this phone away and not be a slave to it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

If things are truly going well in R without her having a phone, which she used during her A, she is probably worried that having a phone will screw up R somehow.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

hawx20 said:


> Thing is, she seems very hesitant to get a phone. It just strikes me as odd. Why is she hesitant? I don't know why it's bothering me. I would think she would want one again but the fact that's she's so hesitant is making me think paranoid thoughts.


Just throwing it out there but MAYBE it's because she doesn't want you to call her and reach her easily when she's with the OM. MAYBE she doesn't need a phone because she already has a burner phone you know nothing about to keep in contact with the OM. MAYBE just MAYBE you should listen to your gut because if it senses something fishy around a known cheater then 99.99% of the time it's usually right. 

You need to go Magnum PI on this one now. She's up to no good. Your previous threads screamed false R. Be ready for it. Don't get played for a chump TWICE!


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

She's got a secret phone stashed somewhere.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

She may or may not have a burner, but I don't think it correlates into her desire/need to get her primary cell phone back.

Let me play devil's angel advocate. If she has a burner, and OP suggested she gets a cell phone, she would just say sure I would like my cell phone back. Knowing full well she will behave on that phone since she has a burner. It would prove what a good girl she has been. So maybe she has a burner, maybe she doesn't, but I don't think we can assume she has a burner based on her not wanting a cell.

I will confess I haven't read or don't remember OP prior threads so there could be history here I'm not considering.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Yes, you are being paranoid.

If she had the opposite reaction, and she desperately wanted to get her cell phone back, wouldn't you be suspicious of that too? So she probably can't win either way.

I have no idea if she is still cheating on you, but I wouldn't worry about it unless you actually see some indicators, and this isn't it.


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Have you asked her why? That might be an avenue to pursue before you begin thinking the worst.

I would suggest that her response might give you and others more to go on.


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## Derryn Hunch (Feb 25, 2014)

Remains said:


> Have you asked her why? That might be an avenue to pursue before you begin thinking the worst.
> 
> I would suggest that her response might give you and others more to go on.


No - I haven't mentioned anything about the SIM to her, I did comment on the shaving thing, but I doubt you would be surprised when I tell you she denied it and said I was overthinking things etc etc..


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

If you are really in R then this is something the two of you should be able to talk about.

My bet is it is about guilt and maybe your anger. Talk it out my man!


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## ricky15100 (Oct 23, 2013)

I would be extremely concerned about the sim card. To be honest though this relationship seems doomed to me, it doesn't look like you'll ever trust her (with good reason) , can you imagine being like this 5,10,20 years down the line?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Any call records on her older line ?

You never tried to find anything more from her cell than what you saw. You refused to entertain the thoughts that they had sex more than once or that there was anything more than what she told you. And you never answered this question.


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