# I'm a man married with to a nut!!!



## wantsTorenew (Oct 21, 2008)

I got married to young @ 19 . Sometimes I am mad at myself for it.
We are both the same age we have an 18 year old daughter in college.
she hates it when her mother has a day off, because of these crazy things she does.
I can tell you that I'm very happy that I only have one child with this woman.
We are from the Caribbean, when I met her, she was quiet and reserved I kind of liked that back then. "BOY WAS I WRONG"
There was something hidden in that "reserve and quite". 
Years ago when she was pregnant with my daughter one night she had a seizer I couldn’t understand what was going on.
She argued with my brother’s girlfriend, she thought that she was trying to put a “spell” on her.
WHY? You may be asking: Well I purchase a gallon of orange juice that gallon of juice had candle residue on it. 
She thought, In her backward mind that my brother’s girlfriend was doing voodoo ceremony on the bottle against her.

A few months later I bought the same kind of juice; guest what was on the bottle at the supermarket? You guest “it candle residue” I confronted her about it; she did not want to hear it.
I discovered from her sister years after we’ve got married that when she was in the Caribbean she used to see things other people couldn’t see.
Things like she “saw her neighbor turn into the devil and flew away”, “ she saw her neighbor putting some kind of powder in her bath water”.
They were kids and they were laughing at her story, but she was serious.

When she came to this country, I did al I could for her to learn how to drive and she refused. I have to take her everywhere, to the supermarket , to work, to the doctor. I leave my job to pick her up from work.
A couple years earlier I got fed-up and I used the sofa as my bed for about a year.

Her sister saw what was happening and pressed her to learn to drive, that was 5 years ago, she has her license and she still not driving. I bought her a car , I end-up driving it..
NOW HERE’S THE WORST:

2 years ago she had a priest came to the house and pray for her, to see if things would get better. NOTHING!. I am so fed-up! there is a radio at each corner of my house they are all playing the same religious song 24/7.
My house smells like garlic I cannot sleep the smell keeps me up, at night our bed is covered with salt, I have to clean my side of the bed before I go to sleep.
She sleeps like a baby with the salt under her, sometimes in the middle of the night she wakes-up to make sure the Television is on the prayer chanel.
One time she said that she saw my friend spreading something in the house. I lost my friends because of that; she claimed that my mother and my sister who are back home in another country are doing things against her.
I cannot receive any mail from my mother, whenever I get a letter from my mother, if she sees it first, she spread lemon or holy water on it.
I have more to say but I have to go to work.
Talked to you’ll next time.

IAM FED-UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Um, wow, I don't blame you for being fed up. I have no idea what to say other than she probably will not change without some serious psychological help.


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

It sounds like she is really caught up in that Caribbean voodoo culture. It is a shame to be soooo paranoid. Does she have a family history of psychological problems?


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## wantsTorenew (Oct 21, 2008)

*Re: I'm a man married to a nut!!!*

Your Questionoes she have a family history of psychological problems?


Yes she has an uncle and a sister who are messed-up in the head, I've found this out years later.
It's my fault also I did not take the time to know her family(I was young and naive)
I like my house to smell good, I cannot use scented candles because she cannot tolerate the smell. But she can tolerate the stinking garlic smell, the smell of amonia and clorox.

She thinks everybody at her job is out to get her, it is simply because of the way she react at work.
I kind of feel sorry for her and upset at myself "WHAT WAS MY RUSH?" "i WAS THINKING WITH MY OTHER HEAD" I think the whole family has a screw loose.
Like I said I have more to say, they come to me time to time.
if you have any more question ask me please.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Ok. Hire a voodoo shaman, catholic priest, whatever she respects the most, to come and 'bless' her and tell her that she no longer needs any voodoo, that God wants her to go 'undercover' for a while and act like everybody else. Make a big show of it.

I also lived with this kind of nut. 10 long weird years. The man ran around the house in an orange towel and lit insense and prayed to all sorts of gods and lots of the things your wife is doing. There is no 'curing' them, but you CAN beat them at their own game. Just play by their game by by your rules and hire the soothsayers to tell her what you want her to do. 

1. God wants you to put away the radios. He can't hear your prayers with them blaring all the time.
2. God wants you to listen to your husband and obey him and love him
3. God is all done with the garlic
4. God will be speaking to you thru your husband now, listen to him and do what he says.
5. God loves you and your husband will protect you from all evil deamons. But ONLY (cue spooky music) if you listen to him in all things.

Good luck


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## wantsTorenew (Oct 21, 2008)

*Re: I'm a man married to a nut!!!*

There's no hope for this woman.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I would get a post ofice box for my family to send things too.

draconis


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## CZandAFG (Oct 24, 2008)

that is a hard one, but it sounds like your wife might really have a mental issue! Please let her see a doctor because she is wearing herself out...it might not seem like it to you, but her mind is racing and she seems like she is lost or in shock from the relocation. Sounds crazy I know, but my mom is the same way! Not religious at all, but crazy and compulsive about weird stuff....guess what? My mom started acting strange after we immigrated to the US from the Czech Republic. My mom never dealt with the stress and now she is just off the wall. Mind you that we moved to the US 22 years ago. Get her help!


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

She thinks too much. I don't believe in voodoo. If that really works, than there would be a lot of people putting a spell on other people that have done them dirty. The only one that can help you out is God.. he has the power to, not other people. You know you can't make another person fly as much as you can bring back a dead person.


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## KittyKat (May 11, 2008)

You need to have her committed for her own safety and yours!


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## Ashley (Oct 21, 2008)

wantsTorenew said:


> I got married to young @ 19 . Sometimes I am mad at myself for it.
> We are both the same age we have an 18 year old daughter in college.
> she hates it when her mother has a day off, because of these crazy things she does.
> I can tell you that I'm very happy that I only have one child with this woman.
> ...


She is totaly and utterly crazy. 
Having case of that in her family your wife is schizophrenic at a very high degree and have been so for many many years.. and untreated, which make it even more dangerous for her and people around her. You just didnt noticed it. She see stuff but also hear voices and she put all those radio and tv to cover her own voices in the head telling her to do those stuff.,.. and more, that she doesnt want to listen to.
Throw the salt , Throw the tv and all radios, throw all the garlic, be the man in the house, refuse totaly and 100% to drive her anywhere.

And even better: file for divorce and FAAAAASSTT!!
Unless you are ready to live with a schyzophrenic patient and to help her get better and receive proper treatment.

Btw, after pulling with so much bs on her side, why didnt you filed for divorce a long long time ago? 
why did you keep driving her places?
why didnt you refused to put pressure on her to get a driving license already the first years?
why did you keep driving her AFTER she got her driving license?
Why did you never tried to stop her when she was doing those things and to reason her?
Why did you never call a doctor or talk with your doctor about what was going on at home, or even met a specialist to tell him what was happening, explain in details what your wife was doing, and i am sure that a good psychiatrist or psycholog wil have given you an immediat diagnosis of advanced schyzophrenia..
You shoudl have acted long ago. Lets hope your daughter is free from that gene..
But seeing her mum doing all that stuff, - and you got no idea of what she did to your daughter while you were away from home and she was alone with that kid - your daughter might have her childhoods mind filled with vodoo ceremonies that will haunt her later on in her life..
Not to scare you more than you need, but you need to put her in the hands of a specialist so that she get professional treatment, before she put you in a psychiatric hospital, where you will certainly end up if you keep putting up with your wifes attics! 
i can tell you that crazy people have a very strong will and schizophrenics are no exception, on the opposite.. they get their will through and are very difficult to live with. When they are normal, its all fine but when they get their crisis its hell, and your wife is in one of those crisis since far too long, you should have send her to a doc a long time ago!
Just to give you a reference point, usual schysophrene, who are facing a crisis, contact their doc or directly their usual clinic or mental hospital and get themeselves internated immediatly, so that they can receive treatment before it go too far and too bad,and they are relaeased as soon as it gets better a few weeks later. They might have to do so several times a year, in and out of the clinic or psychiatric hospital, but thats the condition to can remain normal the rest of the time. Usual cause of fall back, are that they stop taking their medecin.

In your case your wife has been without treatments ever, and running a crisis for seveeral years now, without getting any form of help..so no surprise that things are getting worse and worse. Schizophrenia is geneticaly transmissible, and she got it form her ancesters.. it can begin first time due to a trauma that trigger it, but once its been developed the gene is stronger in the coming generation, and the next and the next. Any traumatic event can then trigger it up.
It is a very serious mental illness, as you can see, who must be treated with medecin and a psychiater, and only specialists can do that. You can chose to make her see a psycholog instead of a psychiatrist to begin with, but if she got schyzophrenia, that psycholog will tell you that its the psychiatric area.

You shoudlnt accept what she is doing and you should stop all radio, remove the batteries, and the antena of the tv so that she cant put the tv on. Those activities are very typical of schysophrenic patients.
I am shock that nobody send her yet to a specialist. Is her doctor totaly unaware of her mental state?
She needs help, and you need peace!
You could have both.
It usualy cannot be cured, but they now have found good cure for it, and have special hospitals in the country side in England, specialised in the cure of schysophrenic patients and who are very succesfull with it. You will have to hear about the existence of some equivalent to it in the US, which i doubt exist yet, or rely on the psychiatric system and heavy medication.
There is no way around this. But you need first to get her a good specialist who will know what to do about it and you migth very well get a normal wife... and a normal life! WOW!  

Poor you! Why on earth with all the talk there has been about schyzophrenia, had nobody at all in your immediate family or circle of friends, told you about it and told you to get her to a specialist?
couldnt you see yourself she was getting crazy?
yes you did! you simply denied it!
see your title here: help my wife is nut!" yeah.. its true. 
Then what are you waiting to send her to a specialist?
This must be hell for your daughter! 
How could you let it go so far?
I pity you cause it must have been real hard and you seems to be such a good man to ahve been able to pull up with so much.. too good maybe? 

Phone a specialist and explain the situation and how long its been going on. Ask for a primary interview with him, that you will use to explain your wifes state, so that he can decide whats the best course of action..
With a grand ma and oncle who are crazy and all that vodoo around, she must have been the victim of some sort of trauma involving voodoo as a child, when she was under 7 or 6 years old, maybe even as low as 2-3, and who awaken a latent schisophrenic disponibility, and that the candle thing on the juice later on in her life, triggered up to life.. There was maybe an offering with fruits when it happeend and thats what her child-mind remember, and she has witnessed lots of voodoo ceremonies since, and she is just repeating stuff she witnessed there, but she definitly got a well developed schizophrenia.. and an untreated one. Thats very bad for her.. and for you too.
good luck with that and keep us informed.

Be carefull whom you chose as specialist and to dont commit her in an institution in a way that will do that you will lose control over what will happen to her. Keep always the rights to can take her out when ever you judge it necessary or wish to, and dont sign anything you dont fully uinderstand.
But first of all, talk to a doctor in psychiatry or to a psycholog.
With the appropriate treatment she could be well in a few months from now.


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## wantsTorenew (Oct 21, 2008)

and you got no idea of what she did to your daughter 
while you were away from home and she was alone with that kid - 
your daughter might have her childhoods mind filled 
with vodoo ceremonies that will haunt her later on in her life..

YES MY DAUGHTER TOLD ME WHEN SHE WENT TO THE CARAIBEAN ONE SUMMER THEY DID VOODO CEREMONIES ON HER.
THE WANTED HER TO DRINK TO DRINK CHIKEN BLOOD AND SHE REFUSE.
SHE SPENT A WEEK OVER THERE AND EVERYDAY THEY DID CEREMONIES ON HER. MY DAUGHTER WAS VERY RELUCTANT AND AGAINST THESE CEREMONIES





I am shock that nobody send her yet to a specialist. 
Is her doctor totaly unaware of her mental state?

YES HER DOCTOR IS ANAWARE OF THE SITUATION THE DOCTOR IS OUT OF REACH NOW, HE HAD AN OPERATION, HE'S GOING TO BE OUT FOR A WHILE.
I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE HER GO SEE A SPECIALIST, I KNOW SHE WILL BE RELUCTANT ABOUT IT!


Any more question please ask!


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## Ashley (Oct 21, 2008)

Dont ask her, go see a specialist yourself, ring to one and make an appointement then go over there and expose the case to him and ask what to do.
if she is reluctant she can be forced into treatment as its usualy the police coming over and getting her hospitalised by caling for an ambulance. Thats the law in case of mental ill people being in danger for themselves or for the people around them.

What she did to your daughters is disgusting! You should have ask for divorce right away!
She cant be responsible over your child when she is doing those things.
You told me she got a sister. You have to talk things over with the sister and decide what to do, after you have talk with a specialist and after he told you whats the illness out of the symptoms your wife is showing. 
Of course he cannot give you a diagnosis without having talk to the patient, but he will already know enough.
She is paranoid too, and seems to suffer from paranoide psychose.

There is nothing else you can do from now on but to contact a specialist. You can also go to a local hospital, to the neurological departement, and adress a professor in neurology there, and ask him for help, and expose to him what she is doing.
Ask him what to do and for him to give you the name of a specialist.
They probaly have a psychiatric departement too but if not, a neurolog know enough in the matter to can contact a specialist and tell you what to do.

Dont wait for the family doc to come back, as he isnt specialised in psychology nor psychiatry and wil not be of any help.
You have to talk to a psychiatrist or a neurology professor at the hospital.
I am sure they will try to help. Tell him its an emergency and that you do not know what to do.
Tell him too what she did to your daughter, in Carraibean, for 11 years ago, and explain the things she does today with the radios everywhere and TV running by night, and salt on the bed, an all the things she does.
Tell him too about the cases of mental illnesses in her family.
it is very important for the doctor to know about it.
He will advise you on what to do next and should take the case into hand for you.
It is sad that you waited so long before making a move, but now you have to make that move.
Go see a specialist first thing tomorrow.

DO NOT WAIT!

She can be dangerous too, and its best if she get hospitalised right away. If you are lucky it can be done immediatly, or you can ask her to go to see a specialist and tell her that she need to see one. Out of her reaction you will know what you must do.
If she is very reluctant or dont see why she should, tell her that what she does is crazy and that you cannot live in a house with radio and tv running all the time and with salt into your bed and that she got to stop doing all that.
If she disagree or begin to cast spell on you or something similar like becoming hysterical like if you got deamons going after her and the alike, then you will have tomorrow to agree with the doc to get her hospitalised by force.

If she is willing to be seen by a specialist, get it done ASAP! and take care to drive her to the sessions.
Once a specialist will have talk to her, together with you explaining what she does, he will be able to tell what has to be done.
Some of what she does can be explained by traditions, but not all of it.

You have 2 options here, but no matter which one you chose to take or have the possibility to take, what matter the most now is to act fast!

I will also advise you to talk this over with your daughter first, so that she know what is going on, and what is going to happen next, so that she dont get a chock.

I am sure that she will agree with you about it since she can see herself that her mum is mentaly ill.

Courage with this, but do not wait a day longer.

You will have to be the strong part here, and to dont deviate your will, to can solve this problem the right way. Keep your actions in synch with what you need to achieve and get as much informations as necessary. 
you said she got a job that she can take care of, so it will explain why your doc never noticed anything if none of you never said a thing to him.. and why didnt you told the doc about it?
It has been years since she begin. For the sake of your own child, couldnt you have ask him about it in the past? not even once?


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## wantsTorenew (Oct 21, 2008)

I am sure that she will agree with you about it since she can see herself that her SISTER is mentaly ill.
I DONT THINK SHE NOTICED THAT AND I DONT THING SHE WOULD AGREE TO SEE A SPECIALIST

Her sister and her uncle are strange her older SISTER that is. When I met her sister, she was the spitting image and had the same reaction as my wife.
I COULDN'T BELEIVE IT!
One time her cousins and her Aunt came to the house for tinksgiving diner. One of her cousin ask me: How did you guys met?
She asked that question in an hesitating, wondering and puzzling way; "like how did this guy endup with somebody like that".
I remember at that dinner she said something wreid and her aunt turns around and looked at me in a pittyfull way.
They see the problem but did not say anything.
she does not have any friends. At first she did not like anybody from any country of the caribean specialy black people from her job, she said they were all out to get her, she said they are all devils.Now, white people in her job are the devils: she's unsociable 
Every dream she has, have a meaning. Her best and only friend is a sister she has in Canada.
She is encouraging the situation, she's the one that she tell all the dreams to. When I try to explain the problem to her she's taking he side, it's like she's blind.
She has another sister that lives nearby she's the one I talked to about the problem. When that sister is trying to make her see the light, she concludes that she's against her. She used to tell the "nearby sister" those dreams, but stoped, Because the nearby sister was trying to make sense of those dreams.
Every little thing is a big thing. 
We live in an old house we used to hear noise between the walls. These noises were old insulation cement that were between the crack in the wall, after awhile they fall out. She used to think that the house was hunted, she said she used to hear foot steps on the stairs.
I WANT OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE,BUT I JUST DON'T SEE HOW I CAN DO IT FINANCIALY AND I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HER LIKE THIS.
THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE ME IS "LOTTO" (I HAVE A BETTER CHANCE BEING HIT BY LIGHTNING) OR ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY THE MORTGAGE BALANCE AND GET THE "HELL OUT". 
RENT A PLACE NEARBY JUST TO BE CLOSE TO MY DAUGHTER.


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## Ashley (Oct 21, 2008)

Why did you changed what i wrote above with your own text?

I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER AND NOT YOUR WIFES SISTER!
I wrote clearly that your daughter will agree about the necessity of havign her mum seen by a specialist since she can see that her mum is very ill.

*<<I will also advise you to talk this over with your daughter first, so that she know what is going on, and what is going to happen next, so that she dont get a chock.
I am sure that she will agree with you about it since she can see herself that her mum is mentaly ill.>>*


When are you going to actualy answer to what i am telling you? are you so much out of yourself that you cant see the light when it stare you on the face??! Thats sad but you have to cool yourself down a bit, in order to can think clear and plan how to get things done and come out of this situation.

I told you exactly what you had to do alerady. Did you understood all what i said to you? :scratchhead:

You have a true allie on her sister who agree with you, so its perfect, talk things over with her and agree of what to do. 
No tot try to convince your wife but as a plan of action to what to do next. You can do so after you have contacted a specialist and even after you had your wife hospitalised. 

TOMMORROW first thing, phone a psychiatrist or phone the local hospital and ask to talk to a psychiatrist there and expose your situation and your wifes state of mind.
if she refuse to seek treatment, as I ALREADY TOLD YOU ABOVE she can be forced to take it by being hospitalised.
So you dont need to ahve ehr acccept of the treatment. You do not need to ahve oyur wife being willing to be seen by a specialist.
So take your butt to the hospital  and go talk to a professor in psychiatry or in neurlogy and get things DONE!
I am telling you what to do exactly, but here you keep talking and talking and talking like there was nothign to be done and founding reasons why to dont do a thing, talking about the lotto..  now i understand why you did nothing in the past 20 years to solve that problem.. you think about it but you dont seel real solutions.. like you never even talk with your own doctor about it, to get a medical opinion and have him check her.. Even worse, the alone person you ask about it was her other sister that is as sick as this one is.. and live in Canada..
Now you can do something about it and have to.
So, tell me, what are you going to do and WHEN?
What does it cost you to drive to the hospital and talk to a specialist there huh? This case could be solved in 1 or 2 hours.. they wil come to take her and you wont have to think about it anymore and she will be back after 3 months, all free of her crazy stories..
and following treatment.
you can also ask for divorce while she is under treatment. You can always take care of her, sometimes, that she keep following her treatment, from a distance, but without havign to live with her..

But right now stop putting your head inside a hole and go to the hospital or pick up the phone and call a specialist. Take the telephone book and look under Psychiatrist or psycholog.
Do something man!
if you lack the money to pay for a treamtent go to the hospital and talk to that neurolog and ask him about finance.
if you got a health inssurance it wil cover it cause its a major illness and crave immediat treatment. and anyway i think its even covered by the state since its a very strong mental illness. Nobody want to have schyzophrenic people walking in the streets. 

Try to be more practical. take a paper a pen, look at the phone book, look ofr psycholo and psychiatrist in your area, note their phone and number and name, look for the neurology and psychiatric dptmt of the hospital near by, look for the name and number of the professor of that dptmt. write it down, together with his number and call him first thing tommorrow, and ask if he is there and of you can come by to tlak to him, if he is there drive there and try to get in touch with him. 

look i am really trying to be helpfull, but you also got to do something.
All you say about your wife thats to a doc you got to say it at the hospital. Nothing is going to change unless you take yourself together and actualy seek help where they can help you for real, by treating your wife. 

Now try to take a stand to what i am teling you and to answer what i am talkng about. Think about what you can do instead of what you can not do..
And actualy there is a lot of things you can do. You are the one in charge here and now, so stop talking like a victim.
And act!


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## kuki (Oct 28, 2008)

WOW. Unfortunately I know someone that is so into their candle work and car readings that their whole lives are in lies. And that person is my mother in law. From day one she wanted me to get my cards read by her niece,who is the one controlling her life. Her niece is no card reader, she got no clue what she's doing except messing up everyone else's life. Anyway, my mother in law for the past 8 yrs, has been doing candle work on me pretty much, she never wanted me to be with her son and when we got married, I found out that she was doing work so I cannot get pregnant because our marriage wouldnt work anyhow and she didnt want her son to have a baby from me. 

I guess what Im trying to say is, that there are a lot of nut jobs out there that live and base their lives on the spirits and guides and supersticion and its definately a sickness. IMO my mother in law someday might end up in a mental institution because she is so far out there from reality that if she every does have to face it, she might loose it. She makes things up all the time about every single person in her life and her own kids think that she's crazy.

You definately need to RUN, RUN, RUN...or get her help and then RUN. Your daughter is old enough now to know what is going on and she should know that what her mother is doing is absolutely absurd.


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