# OM/OW go fishing for your spouse



## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Had OM go on a fishing expidition after it was clear no more contact and on Valentines day no less.Any stories of OP trying to contact your spouse?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Yes. Just this past Christmas! Out of the blue, after over 2 years! Grrrrrr....sentimental old fools.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

My Gf was the OW . two days ago the guy tries to friend her on FB.

Now, you may think I am a fool to go out with her but her affair was..

SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO.

Her reaction.

"Here goes the stupid tax again.."


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

OM went fishing 2 weeks after NC by sending a PM to her secret facebook account. By then I had already gotten the password and changed it. OM went fishing AGAIN via telephone almost 2 months later, just a brief "You KNOW who this is, love you". Nothing since.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Let's see my OW has: called from multiple strange numbers including blocked ones. Set up alternate facebook profiles and sent me friend request. Called me relentlessly when I didn't wish her happy birthday despite not having communicated with her for 6 months. Sent me random text and emails with weird sh!t like, "don't wake me, just grab breakfast on your way in."


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## artlady (Jul 17, 2011)

At first, the OW used her son, then tried to use her mother, to stay in contact with my H. When he agreed to the NC, she sent emails to his phone. Then she tried calling his mom to get in touch with him, but that didn't work, either. She stalked us online for nine months (we have online businesses, and can see her ip address), and she didn't stop until I posted that I could see her. The worst was how she wrote one of our daughters (after nine months of NC) and told a bunch of lies about him, trying to make it seem like *he* was the one stalking her and still in love with her. I honestly think she thought he'd get so angry that he'd contact her, but he didn't.

She's a complete sociopath. All this from a woman who, even after nine months, claimed that she didn't sleep with my husband, and, less than two months after we reconciled, got married!!!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Nuts. All of them.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Let's see my OW has: called from multiple strange numbers including blocked ones. Set up alternate facebook profiles and sent me friend request. Called me relentlessly when I didn't wish her happy birthday despite not having communicated with her for 6 months. Sent me random text and emails with weird sh!t like, "don't wake me, just grab breakfast on your way in."


Has she finally left you alone? Or is it like menopause. You have to go a full year without a period, to say you're done!


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

ing said:


> My Gf was the OW . two days ago the guy tries to friend her on FB.
> 
> Now, you may think I am a fool to go out with her but her affair was..
> 
> ...


huh?


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Has she finally left you alone? Or is it like menopause. You have to go a full year without a period, to say you're done!


Well, the last I heard from her was right after her birthday. I sent her not a thing on her birthday, which I knew would be a big deal to her but too bad. So she starts calling me, and I don't answer, she keeps calling, I keep not answering and she finally stops a couple of days later. A few days go by and she starts up again. I'm telling my wife every time she calls and it's really starting to get our skin. So finally one morning she calls and I'm already on edge for some reason so I answered. I hear her say, "why didn't you acknowledge my birthday?" I say, "because last time we spoke I told you I wouldn't. I'm in love with **** (my wife) and I'm going to be with her. I will not talk to you. I'm hanging up now" and I did. Called my wife, told her about it. My wife sends the OW an email that basically says, "happy fvcking birthday. He's mine. Leave us the hell alone." I paraphrase of course. That's the last since mid August. 

As to is she done or not? Well between the last few days of June and mid August there is: the date we reconnected, my birthday, her birthday, D Day, and then the first anniversary of that last phone call. So in about six weeks there's five milestones. I'll feel much better when we get past all of those with no contact. My bet is that she's done, but that's a lot of reminders in a short period - we'll see.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Our 'OWs' bday is coming up Apr. 5...it happens to be the 2nd anniversary of H's starting at the firm he's employed at, too...this is what started it all for us last year. He tried to call on her birthday...didn't get hold of her, and said there was a man's voice on her answering machine, but still. Even after a year, it still burns me that he did that. I wonder when this will cease to be an issue for me? Sometimes, when I lay in bed, I think about it and wonder if he just took it all underground and is communicating with her regardless of everything we've gone through. It makes me quite crazy.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

Don't worry Candie - those thoughts and feelings are normal. 18 months later my wife is dealing with the same. The last few months "normal" has really started to settle back into our house and that's really triggering my wife. She keeps looking at me and telling me, "I just don't want to be stupid again." I get it. I can't blame her. It's all a process with ups and downs, as time goes on with no new activity the road hopefully levels out some, but you can always see those mountains behind you and wonder what's ahead.


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## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Well, the last I heard from her was right after her birthday. I sent her not a thing on her birthday, which I knew would be a big deal to her but too bad. So she starts calling me, and I don't answer, she keeps calling, I keep not answering and she finally stops a couple of days later. A few days go by and she starts up again. I'm telling my wife every time she calls and it's really starting to get our skin. So finally one morning she calls and I'm already on edge for some reason so I answered. I hear her say, "why didn't you acknowledge my birthday?" I say, "because last time we spoke I told you I wouldn't. I'm in love with **** (my wife) and I'm going to be with her. I will not talk to you. I'm hanging up now" and I did. Called my wife, told her about it. *My wife sends the OW an email that basically says, "happy fvcking birthday. He's mine. Leave us the hell alone."* I paraphrase of course. That's the last since mid August.
> 
> As to is she done or not? Well between the last few days of June and mid August there is: the date we reconnected, my birthday, her birthday, D Day, and then the first anniversary of that last phone call. So in about six weeks there's five milestones. I'll feel much better when we get past all of those with no contact. My bet is that she's done, but that's a lot of reminders in a short period - we'll see.


 
:smthumbup: Thas WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!


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## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Don't worry Candie - those thoughts and feelings are normal. 18 months later my wife is dealing with the same. The last few months "normal" has really started to settle back into our house and that's really triggering my wife. She keeps looking at me and telling me, "I just don't want to be stupid again." I get it. I can't blame her. It's all a process with ups and downs, as time goes on with no new activity the road hopefully levels out some, but you can always see those mountains behind you and wonder what's ahead.


 
You said it wasnt physical with the OW right? OW sounds like she is head over heels gone for you and I can imagine her behavior far worse if it had been physical. BIG UPS to wife. I would have sent that email exactly the same. LOL


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Don't worry Candie - those thoughts and feelings are normal. 18 months later my wife is dealing with the same. The last few months "normal" has really started to settle back into our house and that's really triggering my wife. She keeps looking at me and telling me, "I just don't want to be stupid again." I get it. I can't blame her. It's all a process with ups and downs, as time goes on with no new activity the road hopefully levels out some, but you can always see those mountains behind you and wonder what's ahead.


I just want it to go away. I don't think there's a day that goes by that I don't think about it. That's why I know I could never reconcile in the case of cheating....I can only imagine what I'd be like.

One more question...why does your W say she doesn't want to be stupid? You are the one that had the EA, right?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

shaylady said:


> You said it wasnt physical with the OW right? OW sounds like she is head over heels gone for you and I can imagine her behavior far worse if it had been physical. BIG UPS to wife. I would have sent that email exactly the same. LOL


There is a certain satisfaction in getting involved yourself, I must say.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Part of me wishes he would try again,its doubtful,I'd still love to get my pound of flesh but he would'nt meet up with me last time even after all his tough talk......one day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

If nothing else, my husband got to see just how much he means to me. The length I was willing to go to get this woman away. I won't call it flattery, but it was something similar...


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Funny thing.

The OM tried to contact my wife on Facebook a few weeks ago. She called me in and we looked at his page. He looks so bad. Extremely old and overweight. I teased her and asked her if she still wanted him. She slapped me. We both had a big laugh at his expense.

Oh and she acknowledged his message by replying she was going to friend request his wife, his sister, his coworkers and everyone else on his friend's list. He blocked her. LOL


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

shaylady said:


> You said it wasnt physical with the OW right? OW sounds like she is head over heels gone for you and I can imagine her behavior far worse if it had been physical. BIG UPS to wife. I would have sent that email exactly the same. LOL


It was only an EA and you're right - I can't imagine how much worse it would have been had it gone physical. My AP wasn't happily married - she mad too many compromises - got married because she got pregnant - who knows. I'm glad I don't have to find out. My wife is hard to piss off, but she's also tough as nails. I think the one two punch of me blowing off the phone call and the email from my wife is what finally did it. My wife still smiles big when she thinks about that email.



CandieGirl said:


> One more question...why does your W say she doesn't want to be stupid? You are the one that had the EA, right?


She means two things. She feels like she was a little stupid in that she didn't clue into some of the red flags from my EA. Second, she doesn't want to proven stupid for having forgiven me and trusted me a second time. I tell her the first was not her fault as she had no reason to be suspicious and that the second won't be a problem because I won't be stupid twice either.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Let's see my OW has: called from multiple strange numbers including blocked ones. Set up alternate facebook profiles and sent me friend request. *Called me relentlessly when I didn't wish her happy birthday despite not having communicated with her for 6 months. * Sent me random text and emails with weird sh!t like, "don't wake me, just grab breakfast on your way in."


I am always amused at how some people feel the need to enshrine their birthday..... like others care.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> I am always amused at how some people feel the need to enshrine their birthday..... like others care.


Hey NextTime - you might have broken the record for zombie thread resurrection. Almost 2 years!


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

calvin said:


> Part of me wishes he would try again,its doubtful,I'd still love to get my pound of flesh but he would'nt meet up with me last time even after all his tough talk......one day.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Did your wife tell you right away?

What did CSS feel about this contact?


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

harrybrown said:


> Did your wife tell you right away?
> 
> What did CSS feel about this contact?


 CSS called me at work right after it happend,she was mad about it,she had tld him
To delete her number and never call again.
I called him and told him he had been warned and he better lose her number yesterday.
That's when he started his crap that he was on his way to my house to fvck my wife
and he said something about my kids being at home also.
I had CSS leave with the kids,I left work and went home,I called him and told him I was waiting on him.
He made more threats to come over then told me to meet him at the park.
I did,he ran....he was fast to,wish we would have had him n the Olympic team this year,
we would have won the gold in all kinds of events.
He was all talk.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

calvin said:


> He was all talk.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yep, they usually are. Something about the anonymity of the text, phone, or email that gives them courage they never had before. I have found that the worst person to deal with is the one that is shamed, broken, beaten down, and feels they have nothing to lose. With nothing to lose, they couldn't care what happens to them or what they do, and this makes them more of a threat than training, size, etc! With no face to save and nothing to lose, they are a liability to all.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> Yep, they usually are. Something about the anonymity of the text, phone, or email that gives them courage they never had before.


Someone once asked me what the difference is in a practical sense between pursuing someone's wife and pursuing an available female.

Your statement pretty much sums it up.

NONE of these people would try pursuing this person through their front door.

NONE of them walked up to the front door, not caring who was going to open it, and said "Hey, I like you, I want to go out with you..."

Every single one of them had to engage the object of their pursuit using subterfuge.

That's where the line is drawn. What they do, they will only do in secret. That says something about the nature of the relationship, and about the person willing to pursue it.

Cowards. Every last one of them.

(Reminds me of a line from the film Gladiator I like, but I forgot what it is... lol)


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

But remember everyone, the OM/OW has no obligations to the BS and everything they are doing is just Aok and within the confines of what a decent human being does


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

vellocet said:


> But remember everyone, the OM/OW has no obligations to the BS and everything they are doing is just Aok and within the confines of what a decent human being does


Lol!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

My idiot actually tried to make it look like he butt-dialed my wife after she made it clear
to delete her number and drop dead.
He did try again but by going through someone we knew,asking what was up with her and things like that.
He was told by that person Calvin will go nuts on you.
He REALLY was an idiot to,actually told my wife " I went to prison a virgin but did'nt come out one "
That was all he was good at.......being an idiot!

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SteveK (Mar 15, 2014)

Allen_A said:


> Someone once asked me what the difference is in a practical sense between pursuing someone's wife and pursuing an available female.
> 
> Your statement pretty much sums it up.
> 
> ...


This is so true.

My STBXW POSOM has a history of,chasing married woman. They all,eventually returned home, but my moron wife is in a narcissistic midlife crises and loves the life he is offering her and all the trips she is going on with him, even not spending the holidays with her kids.

Oh the way her established contact after four months,....he mailed her a cell phone with his numbers preprogrammed in...


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Damn Steve,I forgot all about this litttle thread.
My POS tried one more time over a year ago by fbing one of the wifes old friends to
see what was up.
He's still an idiot.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

SteveK said:


> This is so true.
> 
> My STBXW POSOM has a history of,chasing married woman. They all,eventually returned home, but my moron wife is in a narcissistic midlife crises and loves the life he is offering her and all the trips she is going on with him, even not spending the holidays with her kids.
> 
> Oh the way her established contact after four months,....he mailed her a cell phone with his numbers preprogrammed in...


 Pretty ballsy of your idiot POS Steve.
What a d!ck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

The 1st OM messaged my wife last New Year's Eve, just to say "Happy New Year". Really??? Here's the kicker: the affair ended in 1988, 26 years ago!! Again, really???? The wife wanted to block him but I don't, I want to see if he tries again. Next time I have a little talk with him about him getting a life. One that doesn't involve my wife.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

sigma1299 said:


> Well, the last I heard from her was right after her birthday. I sent her not a thing on her birthday, which I knew would be a big deal to her but too bad. So she starts calling me, and I don't answer, she keeps calling, I keep not answering and she finally stops a couple of days later. A few days go by and she starts up again. I'm telling my wife every time she calls and it's really starting to get our skin. So finally one morning she calls and I'm already on edge for some reason so I answered. I hear her say, "why didn't you acknowledge my birthday?" I say, "because last time we spoke I told you I wouldn't. *I'm in love with **** (my wife) and I'm going to be with her. I will not talk to you.* I'm hanging up now" and I did. Called my wife, told her about it. *My wife sends the OW an email that basically says, "happy fvcking birthday. He's mine. Leave us the hell alone." * I paraphrase of course. That's the last since mid August.
> 
> Your wife's response was absolutely WONDERFUL!! :rofl:
> :lol: And yours was just as good. Good luck to you both! :smthumbup:


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

HarryDoyle said:


> The 1st OM messaged my wife last New Year's Eve, just to say "Happy New Year". Really??? Here's the kicker: the affair ended in 1988, 26 years ago!! Again, really???? The wife wanted to block him but I don't, I want to see if he tries again. Next time I have a little talk with him about him getting a life. One that doesn't involve my wife.


Wow,what a loser.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

calvin said:


> Pretty ballsy of your idiot POS Steve.
> What a d!ck.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Only if you believe she didn't ask for the phone.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Only if you believe she didn't ask for the phone.


True and its ver possible she did.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustGrinding (Oct 26, 2012)

Oh, how I wish pig-boy would somehow grow enough of a pair to dare go fishing and make as much as a ripple in my world . . .

"Below the thunders of the upper deep;
Far far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth . . ."


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

calvin said:


> Had OM go on a fishing expidition after it was clear no more contact and on Valentines day no less.


Did he use stink bait? Bet that might have worked.


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## asia (Dec 3, 2012)

Reading this entire thread was hard for me. Pretty much EVERY WS told the OM/OW to buzz off. My WS communicated back. Ugh!


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

asia said:


> Reading this entire thread was hard for me. Pretty much EVERY WS told the OM/OW to buzz off. My WS communicated back. Ugh!


That sucks big time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## allwillbewell (Dec 13, 2012)

Gee and I thought I had it bad..OW contacts FWS every 2-3 months by text,cell phone or email. He had responded and even initiated contact occasionally during false R during the time he was ambivalent perhaps still wrapped in affair fog...for the last year we have ignored her fishing trips and she has ramped up her blameshifting to accuse him of all of the deceitful doings..as if she had no other choice but to cooperate...an innocent !
when her husband was informed, he blamed it on her poor self esteem and drinking...no help there!

Yes, the fishing OW/OM are truly a pathetic, selfish lot...


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

OM texted my wife with a random, stupid message last week about a meal he just ruined and she told me immediately, having not responded to him.


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## Allen_A (Nov 18, 2013)

There should be a law against this kind of nonsense.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Calvin, you have no idea how I envy what you have with CSS. I wish I had a relationship like that. Bless you both.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

thummper said:


> Calvin, you have no idea how I envy what you have with CSS. I wish I had a relationship like that. Bless you both.


It took a little over two years for me to function and start trusting again,I don't
really check up on her much anymore,I don't feel a need to.
When she outed herself without me asking that told me a lot.
I've never seen anyone so damn remorseful in my life.
It was like temporary insanity on her part.
I still believe you don't throw someone away if you see something in them that's
woth saving.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

asia said:


> Reading this entire thread was hard for me. Pretty much EVERY WS told the OM/OW to buzz off. My WS communicated back. Ugh!


You are not alone. My wife still thinks the OM is a great person, and wishes things were different so they could still be friends.

If I lifted the ban on him she would 100% reopen the friendship. I am very envious of people whose WS can't stand the thought of their old AP.


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## asia (Dec 3, 2012)

How long has it been since their affair has been over Gabriel?


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

The fishing did happen,the POS stopped trying to contact my wife but his phone calls
and text to me went on for a year and a half.
About six months ago I called his boss and threatend to sue,the POS was stalking me
with a company phone,I told his boss both of them were going to lose their jobs unless he fired the POS
and I would make quite a bit of cash from the lawsuit.
Have'nt heard a think from POS since.
I think that's why my R was so hard,POS never would meet me in person,well
he did but he ran,other times I saw him in his piece of crap work truck (only thing he had to drive)
he would freak and run,I quit chasing him when he almost hit a telephone pole.
I figured he was going to cause a wreck and hurt someone.
My wife hates his guts and she is a little worried about running into him one day.
He knows better to try to approach or say anything to CSS or God have mercy on him
because I won't.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## allwillbewell (Dec 13, 2012)

I wish someone could advise me on how NOT to get the blues when my FWS's OW tries to contact him...just saw another text where she tells him her dog died...and that he should tell our dogs! Of course this was just her way of reminding him of all the walks they took together walking the dogs, finding a rock and having sex.
I don't worry about him reigniting their romance but being reminded about it and having to stay vigilant is exhausting and brings me so down...cannot move on...
Yes, she was sent the NC letter, we ignore her texts, but cannot block her number(we have dumb phones)or change numbers, her husband has been informed and my husband is frustrated listening to me vent my insecurities: "Have faith in me" yea right...clueless...


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Two years to the day from our Dday he sends her a text message. We are driving back from a road trip to visit our kids. I was feeling good about us our kids my life and then that POS sends her a texts message and she sits right next to me in the car.

To her credit the minute we stopped the car for gas she told me and showed me the text.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

mahike said:


> Two years to the day from our Dday he sends her a text message. We are driving back from a road trip to visit our kids. I was feeling good about us our kids my life and then that POS sends her a texts message and she sits right next to me in the car.
> 
> To her credit the minute we stopped the car for gas she told me and showed me the text.


Good deal,she gets it.
Best of luck to you both.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

allwillbewell said:


> I wish someone could advise me on how NOT to get the blues when my FWS's OW tries to contact him...just saw another text where she tells him her dog died...and that he should tell our dogs! Of course this was just her way of reminding him of all the walks they took together walking the dogs, finding a rock and having sex.
> I don't worry about him reigniting their romance but being reminded about it and having to stay vigilant is exhausting and brings me so down...cannot move on...
> Yes, she was sent the NC letter, we ignore her texts, but cannot block her number(we have dumb phones)or change numbers, her husband has been informed and my husband is frustrated listening to me vent my insecurities: "Have faith in me" yea right...clueless...


 Time to go to the cops and have them make a call to her,they will do it,they did
it for me,it worked for awhile,you have to build up a "paper trail" in case you need it.
It helps,try it,might save you a lot of grief.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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