# It's the wife's job to stop guys from cheating...



## plasmasunn (Apr 3, 2013)

According to Pat Robertson. Just curious what you guys think about this article...

Not only am I outraged by his words that basically say it's the woman's fault if a man cheats...I also find it extremely generalizing and insulting to men. 

Guys, what's your take?

Pat Robertson Tells Wife Of Cheating Husband To Be Grateful For Marriage, Make Home Enticing (VIDEO)


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I am not going to bother to watch the video. All I have to say is that Pat Robertson can kiss my heiney and I hope it rips his lips off.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

While it is absolutely always 100% the fault of the betrayer, it is very important for both men an women to remember that they need to give everything they have to create an environment that is conducive to a happy marriage, and that minimizes the attractiveness of an affair.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Granted, I did not watch the video, but...

Isn't that the basic premise of His Needs, Her Needs? Creating an environment within the marriage that meets the spouses needs and makes an affair less attractive?

It is up the the woman to create an enviroment making it so her husband does not want to cheat? Same thing for the man to create an environment making it so his wife doesn't want to cheat?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Yes, HNHN talks about 'affairproofing' the marriage. But that's something both partners need to work on TOGETHER. It certainly isn't all up to the woman. And creating an environment where partners do not feel the desire to stray is a loooooooooong way from taking your partners genitals and pairing them up with someone elses. Feeling the desire and actually DOING it are worlds apart.


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## plasmasunn (Apr 3, 2013)

Oh, I absolutely agree it is the duty of both spouses to keep a happy, loving home. 

I think what really gets me about this (and honestly, who really cares what Pat Robertson says?) is the whole "Men have a tendancy to wander." I mean, do you guys think that's true? It's not the first time I've heard something like this...and it just feels like an insulting, gross generalization of an entire gender. Kind of like how in Muslim cultures, women have to cover up so they don't tempt/excite guys with their exposed skin. 

It's almost like if a guy does cheat, it's excusable because he's a man. That just seems silly to me!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Anything that begins with "Pat Robertson says..." 


Ummm I forgot what we were talking about? Did someone order pizza?


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## Laila8 (Apr 24, 2013)

I don't think there is such a thing as an affair-proof marriage. A woman can look perfect, be sweet and loving, give her man sex, and still get cheated on. Then there are men who are in crappy marriages, but they still would never cheat. Cheaters are going to cheat, period, regardless of how perfect or not the marriage is.

I watched the video, what a clown. <sigh>


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I saw "Pat Robertson" and that's as far as I got.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## plasmasunn (Apr 3, 2013)

Hahahahaha...OK, OK....sorry, Pat Robertson is a bad example. Reading this though, it made me wonder how commonly the view is held. That's all!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I think Pat Robertson is a very valuable member of our society. As is James Dobson. If I ever find myself agreeing with them, or taking them seriously, I will know it is time to go talk to the shrink for some meds.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

plasmasunn said:


> Hahahahaha...OK, OK....sorry, Pat Robertson is a bad example. Reading this though, it made me wonder how commonly the view is held. That's all!


About as commonly as a man being responsible for his wife's cheating, I should imagine


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Laila619 said:


> I don't think there is such a thing as an affair-proof marriage. A woman can look perfect, be sweet and loving, give her man sex, and still get cheated on. Then there are men who are in crappy marriages, but they still would never cheat. Cheaters are going to cheat, period, regardless of how perfect or not the marriage is.


I don't entirely agree with this. It's true for some, but there are people who use the state of their marriage as an excuse to cheat, who wouldn't have allowed themselves to step over that line if their marriage was happier.

There may not be such a thing as an affair PROOF marriage, but it's prudent to work together as spouses to meet each others needs in every way possible.

My husband, like pretty much all guys, likes to look at and notices pretty women. While working through the sexual needs part of HNHN, we had some pretty frank discussions. During one of them, the subject of what runs through his mind when he looks at other women came up. Before he was cheating, and now, he has what I would consider to be a 'normal' reaction - notice, look, feel happy feelings, brief appreciation, look away, forget about it. But while he was actively seeking relationships outside the marriage, his thought process was more like notice, look, undress with his eyes, imagine f'ing, get aroused, dwell on it, think about whether he stood a chance of getting into her pants, and not forget but connive and scheme in his mind some way to actually hook up with them. Especially if it was an attractive woman he was bound to run into again for whatever reason.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Laila619 said:


> I don't think there is such a thing as an affair-proof marriage. A woman can look perfect, be sweet and loving, give her man sex, and still get cheated on. Then there are men who are in crappy marriages, but they still would never cheat. Cheaters are going to cheat, period, regardless of how perfect or not the marriage is.
> 
> I watched the video, what a clown. <sigh>


Men come in all sorts. 

There are men who will never cheat no matter what the wife did. They would get divorced before they cheated.

There are men who will cheat if they weren't happy at home or they are tempted by someone who put him in her gun sites.

And, unfortunately, there are men who will cheat even if you are Betty Crocker, Susie Homemaker and a sex goddess all rolled into one.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Guys like PR have nothing to sell that would interest me.
It's simple. Cheaters cheat.
What I have never been able to understand is just how hard
is it to say GOODBYE?


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

There is a big difference between who is responsible for stopping someone else from cheating, and CARING for a marriage.

If your wife doesn't care enough to help create a positive atmosphere in the home ( note- I said HELP. The man is also responsible for this ) then you have two choices. Try to change the dynamics of the relationship through communication, counseling etc, or get a divorce.

Cheating should not ever be excusable, and the mind frame of doing something in order to prevent someone else from doing something negative - in this case cheating - just seems like so much deficit thinking.

I'm glad to see posters mention HNHN. These posters are trying to do something positive in their marriage.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

He's got it backwards. In our marriage the wife is in charge of setting up encounters. But the husband has exercised the veto everytime so far.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Laila619 said:


> I don't think there is such a thing as an affair-proof marriage. A woman can look perfect, be sweet and loving, give her man sex, and still get cheated on. Then there are men who are in crappy marriages, but they still would never cheat. Cheaters are going to cheat, period, regardless of how perfect or not the marriage is.


I agree and I don't.

I think there are two types of betrayers. Those who do it becasue they just want to and always will and those who do so becasue they are too lazy to work on the marriage. The latter usually do so becasue their partner is just as lazy. Not that it in any way, shape or form justifies their betrayal, but I think those might be able to be prevented from betraying.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I didn't watch the video... but here is what I think... due to Testosterone's effect on the male psyche... (I've read a few books on this when I was worried about my husbands levels, also trying to figure out why I had a spike in mid life...and from it's effects, I KNOW it was testosterone.. WOW!)....

Anyway....due to a man's having 10 times more Test over women (GENERALLY speaking) .... the male is MORE Prone to struggling in this regard....it is very hard for him to RESIST... so he shouldn't put himself in situations where , if he is not being fed at home...that he could fall into something....

Statistically....the higher his levels , the more likelihood he may cheat as well......IF (do not miss this part)...*.he is faced with a lack of integrity* ....*and a rejecting cold "pity sex" wife*... 

I agree with all the other posters that it IS the responsibility of both spouses to create an atmosphere of Love and sexual satisfaction within the home...this lowers the risk of cheating.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Pat Robertson is so out of touch with reality. Why anyone pays attention to anything he says is beyond me.

He says that males have a tendency to wander so a woman has to make her man want to stay.

I guess he does not realize that women cheat at almost the same rate that men do.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

samyeagar said:


> Granted, I did not watch the video, but...
> 
> Isn't that the basic premise of His Needs, Her Needs? Creating an environment within the marriage that meets the spouses needs and makes an affair less attractive?
> 
> It is up the the woman to create an enviroment making it so her husband does not want to cheat? Same thing for the man to create an environment making it so his wife doesn't want to cheat?


Did you listen to the video? It's basically saying that women need to forget about the cheating and be thankful that their husband supports them, provides food, does things with the children, etc.

That is not what HN, HN is saying at all.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I didn't watch the video... but here is what I think... due to Testosterone's effect on the male psyche... (I've read a few books on this when I was worried about my husbands levels, also trying to figure out why I had a spike in mid life...and from it's effects, I KNOW it was testosterone.. WOW!)....
> 
> Anyway....due to a man's having 10 times more Test over women (GENERALLY speaking) .... the male is MORE Prone to struggling in this regard....it is very hard for him to RESIST... so he shouldn't put himself in situations where , if he is not being fed at home...that he could fall into something....
> 
> ...


It is true that testosterone controls libido in both men and women. Normal testosterone in a male is 300-1000ng/dl 30-70 in women. It only takes a little dab to do the ladies.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I didn't watch the video... but here is what I think... due to Testosterone's effect on the male psyche... (I've read a few books on this when I was worried about my husbands levels, also trying to figure out why I had a spike in mid life...and from it's effects, I KNOW it was testosterone.. WOW!)....
> 
> Anyway....due to a man's having 10 times more Test over women (GENERALLY speaking) .... the male is MORE Prone to struggling in this regard....it is very hard for him to RESIST... so he shouldn't put himself in situations where , if he is not being fed at home...that he could fall into something....
> 
> ...


Interesting. To T levels cause men to cheat. Since women cheat at about the same level as men, I wonder how T levels explains why so many women cheat?

My point? I don't think the the idea that T levels lead to cheating is a valid theory.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

First his statement automatically assumes that the woman in question must be a SAHM where the cheating husband pays for everything, including the food - which as polls and info here on TAM from female posters shows is increasingly less likely. 

Secondly - I'm sorry but "Thou shalt not commit adultery" didn't have a subset to it "unless you are a man" so - what's up with picking and choosing which biblical rules we are following?


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Interesting. To T levels cause men to cheat. Since women cheat at about the same level as men, I wonder how T levels explains why so many women cheat?
> 
> My point? I don't think the the idea that T levels lead to cheating is a valid theory.


Probably because comparing testosterone levels in females and males is pretty futile, there is also progesterone (converts testosterone to estradiol) and estradiol levels that has a big impact on females libido, doesn't get mentioned very often.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I sincerely hope that nobody is stressing over what Pat doofus Robertson has to say about anything.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TiggyBlue said:


> Probably because comparing testosterone levels in females and males is pretty futile, there is also progesterone (converts testosterone to estradiol) and estradiol levels that has a big impact on females libido, doesn't get mentioned very often.


I don't think that hormone levels is the main thing that leads a person to cheat. 

Cheating is often about an emotional connection first. The sexual part follows.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Interesting. To T levels cause men to cheat. Since women cheat at about the same level as men, I wonder how T levels explains why so many women cheat?
> 
> My point? I don't think the the idea that T levels lead to cheating is a valid theory.


Women are more sensitive to testosterone than men. 

I think T levels might be a secondary, tertiary or even quaternary factor. 

I wouldn't discount it as a total non-factor.

As I said in a previous post. Some men are going to cheat no matter how "good" the wive is.

Rich guys who marry arm ornaments seem to be prone to cheating. Guy in uniform seem to be prone to cheating. Just my opinion. I don't have any stats to back that up.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Do not miss my thoughts on the word *Integrity* in my post.. Do I think the majority of people have sexual integrity today in this world of causal sex... No...I do not...some old habits die hard- if this was a lifestyle for many years before marriage...
> 
> I also feel people take marriage too lightly... they hold secrets, they don't see the Marriage bed as sacred...there is so many factors... but neither does a wife who refuses her husband... frankly I have little sympathy for her...
> 
> ...


So, how does this information square or not square with what Pat Robertson said? 

I'm asking.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

thatbpguy said:


> I agree and I don't.
> 
> I think there are two types of betrayers. Those who do it becasue they just want to and always will and those who do so becasue they are too lazy to work on the marriage. The latter usually do so becasue their partner is just as lazy. Not that it in any way, shape or form justifies their betrayal, but I think those might be able to be prevented from betraying.


Having been in a marriage with a cheater, I can tell you there is another kind as well. There are those who are mentally or emotionally broken people and the cheating is a symptom of the those deeper issues.

I'm probably a bit scarred from my experience but I'm going to agree with Laila. I don't think there is an "affair proof" marriage. People change, situations change and these changes effect the marriage. I'm not saying people will cheat. I'm saying that the strength of the marriage will change over time and at those times when it is less strong people might wander for various reasons. 

This PR thing is a bit funny to me as I recently heard a Catholic Bishop on the radio talking about how men need to do a better job of not cheating. This was funny for me as man who has never cheated but been cheated on and funny to hear from a man who has never been married and can have no real clue what the reality of marriage is.

My two cents.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

So what's the ration 70%-30% women to men answering this question? Let's keep the indefensible positions in the lounge.


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

This thinking was literally deadly in the past. My grandmother's mother was told not to have any more kids by the Dr but not hav8ng sex with your husband then was basically giving him a license to fool around. She didn't heed the advice and died having her 12th child, forcing my grandmother to drop out of school at 16 so she could take care of her siblings.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

So - your choice is 

- Marry a potential cheater with a big penis and thus have a higher chance of sexual interest on your part which might reduce his cheating risk 

Or 

- Marry a man less likely to cheat because he has a smaller penis, which might reduce your sexual interest and thus make him more likely to cheat anyways. 

Hmm. 

Also - if whatever caused the brain injury also ruined their facial symmetry, does that balance out somehow?


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## FLGator (Mar 26, 2013)

It's ironic, because this man will be the first to rot on hell. 

Read up on Him. It will make you sick.


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## FLGator (Mar 26, 2013)

Actual quote. 

"Like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit. What you want to do is make a home so wonderful that he doesn’t want to wander." –Pat Robertson, giving advice on "The 700 Club" to a woman whose husband cheated on her


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Pat Robertson is an arse.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

My local radio station played this on air the other morning, I could not believe what I was hearing! Man, the dj's had a field day with him! And thats saying something, as those to tend to be kinda sexist.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Starstarfish said:


> So - your choice is
> 
> - Marry a potential cheater with a big penis and thus have a higher chance of sexual interest on your part which might reduce his cheating risk
> 
> ...


It's all quite interesting, isn't it.... Women will always be more attracted to the Big Penis type... because those are the Alpha males....and Yep...they got higher TEST... which also gives them a sense of confidence....which women eat up....

Here are some facts on Testosterone ...taken from this book >>  The Alchemy of Love and Lust ...which covers all of our hormones... how they affect us, males & females...



> *As to Sexual roles -Testosterone *:
> 
> ***Increases sexual thoughts & fantasies
> ***Responds to Novelty , inspires one night stands & affairs
> ...


 Much of our Behaviors ARE influenced by the specific levels of hormones in our body at any given time. If any of these hormones are out of whack/lacking/too high, it can cause colossal problems -which can indeed affect our relationships. We may not act as we should, as nature intended...

I am not trying to make excuses for anyone...just putting out the understanding that it is MORE of a struggle in these areas ....for some -given these facts. 

I still say look for a partner who has *integrity* and *honesty* at his core (even if it may hurt at times)... that way if he is isn't happy within the marriage, he'll at least talk to his wife about his needs - BEFORE going over any fences....such a man wouldn't be able to look himself in the mirror otherwise...he has too much respect for marriage , his own honor & someone he said vows to. 

I know easier said ...than able to find in life I suppose.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

From the link:


> "Here's the secret," the famous evangelical said. "Stop talking the cheating. He cheated on you, well, he's a man."





> He also once told a husband upset that his wife didn't respect him that he could always just "become a Muslim and you could beat her."


:rofl:

Are you guys seriously taking this clown seriously?


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

This is the same person that claimed that 9/11 happened as punishment for the gays and Hurricane Katrina was God's wrath against America. I'm a Louisiana boy, so the Katrina thing is enough to make me hate him.

And the punishment for the gays thing? That puts him on the same footing as those Westboro @ssholes. As a motorcycle rider and combat vet who has ridden with the Patriot Guard to ensure Westboro can't interrupt service members' funerals, Robertson can go eat sh!t from the same trough as the Westboro wingnuts.

If you give any credence to anything Pat Robertson says, you have far more problems than anything you're posting on TAM.

See Time's list of top 10 Pat Robertson gaffes for more of his brand of religiously-indoctrinated hatred.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

plasmasunn said:


> Oh, I absolutely agree it is the duty of both spouses to keep a happy, loving home.
> 
> I think what really gets me about this (and honestly, who really cares what Pat Robertson says?) is the whole "Men have a tendancy to wander." I mean, do you guys think that's true? It's not the first time I've heard something like this...and it just feels like an insulting, gross generalization of an entire gender. Kind of like how in Muslim cultures, women have to cover up so they don't tempt/excite guys with their exposed skin.
> 
> It's almost like if a guy does cheat, it's excusable because he's a man. That just seems silly to me!


There is strong evidence that men's reproductive strategy IS to wander. Not saying it is good or right. A guy who genetically is predisposed to nail everything that moves leaves more kids.

Call it the 'Lottery' method of reproduction.

Women find A mate and spawn with him...and if someone with better genes comes around and she can get away with it....

While other research discusses this, I read and was persuaded by the book 'The Red Queen'.

This is nature. NURTURE is how we rise above this.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I don't think that hormone levels is the main thing that leads a person to cheat.
> 
> Cheating is often about an emotional connection first. The sexual part follows.


This is a woman's perspective. Men TEND to have little emotional connection.

Note...there are very few female ONS on the board...but a lot of runaway wives.

The opposite is true of men. 

This smacks of gender preference bias.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Davelli0331 said:


> As a motorcycle rider and combat vet who has ridden with the Patriot Guard


Way cool. My best friend is a Patriot Guard rider. He's from Iowa and his military nick-name is Grizz. You may run into him sometime. 

So back to Pat Robertson. I have it on good authority he is having an affair with a goat.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

How about this one >> Pat Robertson Blames 'Awful-Looking' Women For Marital Problems

He gave this story on his show...


> A woman came to a preacher that I know, and she was awful looking. I mean, her hair was all torn up and she was overweight and looked terrible, clothes bad and everything. And she said, 'Oh, Reverend, what can I do? My husband has started to drink.'
> 
> And the preacher looked at her and said, 'Madam, if I was married to you I'd start to drink too.' We need to cultivate romance, darling! ... You always have to keep that spark of love alive. It just isn't something to just lie there, 'Well, I'm married to him so he's got to take me slatternly looking.' You've got to fix yourself up, look pretty.


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## JustPuzzled (Dec 12, 2012)

Ol' Pat speaks the truth (said while pullin' mah pants up over mah belly).

Jus' keep yerself purdy for me, honey, an' ah won't stray.

<wink>

Where's mah supper!!!???


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I don't think that hormone levels is the main thing that leads a person to cheat.
> 
> Cheating is often about an emotional connection first. The sexual part follows.


I am responding to the same post twice, and I apologize because I didn't recall this detail until later and if I edited it into the prior response, it would be lost in the threads.

They did a study about men and women and porn. They showed a bunch of porn films to a variety of men and women.

(Yes, women are turned on by porn too...but that isn't the point)

What IS the point is that men had a high interest in the movie...but when they saw the same movie again, they lost interest. When they were fed the same actresses in new movies, the interest was renewed, but not to as high a level as when they saw a different movie with DIFFERENT ACTRESSES.

Women were the exact opposite. Women were 'brand loyal'. If they were turned on by, say, Peter North then they were much more aroused by MORE Peter North films then they were by some other stud.

I believe this is called the Coolidge Effect.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

So the fact that his girlfriend, Kristen Stewart, cheated on him means that it was his fault???

Robert Pattinson is just an immature prick.
I've never liked him to begin with but now that I'm reading all these makes me want to dislike him 100 times MORE.. 

What a child!


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> So the fact that his girlfriend, Kristen Stewart, cheated on him means that it was his fault???
> 
> Robert Pattinson is just an immature prick.
> I've never liked him to begin with but now that I'm reading all these makes me want to dislike him 100 times MORE..
> ...


Pat Robertson and Robert Pattinson are not the same person.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

I really like the fact that people are using this as a soapbox to thrash Pat more than they are to discuss the principle in question.

A few (a VERY few) have taken up that gauntlet.

The others' are just pontificating their political preferences.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's too comical to be real



> And she said, 'Oh, Reverend, what can I do? My husband has started to drink.' And the preacher looked at her and said, 'Madam, if I was married to you I'd start to drink too.'


:rofl:


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

JCD said:


> Women were the exact opposite. Women were 'brand loyal'. If they were turned on by, say, Peter North then they were much more aroused by MORE Peter North films then they were by some other stud.
> 
> I believe this is called the Coolidge Effect.


Can kind of understand how that happens, there aren't many attractive male porn stars so there isn't that much choice (luckily that's started to change).


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> I don't think that hormone levels is the main thing that leads a person to cheat.
> 
> *Cheating is often about an emotional connection first.* The sexual part follows.


I'm assuming that when a guy engages in an EA it's because he's enjoying the effort and challenge it's taking to get the woman in bed.

A woman needs an EA first in the hopes that she won't be treated like a piece of meat during the PA........ or sometimes, because some women like the idea that they're getting a lot of attention without having to "put out."


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I agree that you can't 100% affair proof your marriage, but I do think there are things to do to improve your chances.

In addition to being a good spouse, I think maintaining some mystery and feistiness is good as well. 

Things can be perfect but boring as well. And I think that's one of many reasons why someone might stray. I remember from the Shirley Glass book, some people stray because _they are not asked to do enough _in the relationship.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

JCD said:


> This is a woman's perspective. Men TEND to have little emotional connection.
> 
> Note...there are very few female ONS on the board...but a lot of runaway wives.
> 
> ...


I concur. As a former wayward who hung out with other waywards (birds of a feather I guess). Men generally don't have an attachment to the OW, even when its a long time affair. In my case I actually had less interest in the OW when things went physical. As shameful as it sounds you view your wife as the cake and the OW as the "eat it too". Wayward men tend to view the cake as their number one priority. 

There are however exceptions. I would imagine that if a man was in a loveless or sexless marriage he could very well form an emotional attachment with the OW. But that wasn't the case for me, I was the type of guy that would cheat no matter what, no matter how happy my home life was.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

JCD said:


> I really like the fact that people are using this as a soapbox to thrash Pat more than they are to discuss the principle in question.
> 
> A few (a VERY few) have taken up that gauntlet.
> 
> The others' are just pontificating their political preferences.


Saying that it's a wife's responsibility to keep her man from cheating implies the following:
1) Men cannot control our responses to our own sexual urges, and therefore
2) It is a woman's fault if her husband cheats

Also, the use of gender specific verbiage (wife's responsibility to keep husband from cheating) instead of gender-neutral verbiage further implies that the reverse is not true: It is not the husband's responsibility to keep the wife from cheating.

Personally, I find those ideas just as ridiculous as claiming that gays caused 9/11 or God caused Hurricane Katrina.

"Affair proofing" your marriage is a framework for fulfilling each other's needs and establishing boundaries with those outside of the marriage. It is not a method for assigning blame, nor does it claim that either sex is unable to control themselves.

I find it disturbing that there seems to be a trending implication on TAM that it's the woman's fault if the man cheats.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

plasmasunn said:


> According to Pat Robertson. Just curious what you guys think about this article...


LOL, that Robertson fellow.....

Isn't that the same guy who had some serious business dealings with that brutal ,psychotic , kleptomaniac, ex Liberian President / Dictator Charles Taylor?

If you have ever heard the term " Blood Diamond " from Africa, then Charles Taylor is the man behind that trade.
His modus operandi ; to sever the limps of his political opponents or people who were against his thuggery and leave them to bleed to death.
Yes,
His henchmen used machetes to hack off the arms and legs of men women , and yes , children too. They even used to chop off the breasts of women, and leave them to bleed to death, on the streets.
Why?
Because Liberia is full of diamond mines, and Taylor enriched himself enormously. Little boys and girls were forced to work in these mines an they often starved to death..

Guess who bought his diamonds, and was even given a 
" concession " to mine diamonds in the blood soaked soils of Liberia?

"..._According to a June 2, 1999, article in The Virginian-Pilot,[23] Robertson had extensive business dealings with Liberian president Charles Taylor. According to the article, Taylor gave Robertson the rights to mine for diamonds in Liberia's mineral-rich countryside_..."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat_Robertson#Business_interests


Thank goodness Charles Taylor has been sentenced to 50 years in jail, after being found guilty in the Hague for his crimes against humanity.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> LOL, Pat Robertson...
> 
> Isn't that the same guy who had some serious business dealings with that brutal , wicked ex Liberian President / Dictator Charles Taylor?
> 
> ...


I didn't even know that about Pat Robertson. He's an even bigger tool than I thought.

Folks need to learn to internet better. If you're going to post a controversial topic, don't link it to an incredibly divisive figure. That's just begging for thread derailment. Just post the topic and leave it at that.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It's up to each and every one of us to stop OURSELVES from cheating.

When we enter into a committed relationship with someone, we have the responsibility to nurture and protect that relationship with all that we have, and to create a strong foundation from which our lives can grow and evolve. If our SO isn't contributing to the relationship in a like manner, and we find ourselves unhappy, it's up to US to address the problem with them. If they can't or won't, it's then up to us to decide if we're prepared to stay in a less than fulfulling relationship...

We're not responsible for other people's behaviour, but we are responsible for our own reactions to it. IMO, choosing to cheat is a very negative response to an already negative situation, and can only ever yield an even bigger problem for us to deal with. If we choose to do that, that is our choice and our responsibility.


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## plasmasunn (Apr 3, 2013)

Guys, duh. Pat Robertson is awful. He says and does awful things in the name of Christianity. 

But again...I started this thread because I have heard similar things from other people throughout the course of my life. I am in no way endorsing Pat Robertson or the 700 Club, nor do I really take his rants to heart. Though, I am troubled by the millions of Americans that do (like my grandparents.)

I was talking to my hubs about this over the weekend, and to me, I think it comes down to gender roles/expectations. As in...there's this seemingly-archaic line of thinking that's apparently still alive and well about how a man should be the bread winner and wifey should shoot out kids and be a SAHM. 

I just find the mode of thinking "Well, he's a guy, so he'll wander!" to be insulting to guys. Just like, as a woman, assuming that I have skills better suited to the kitchen than the workplace is insulting to me. 

I've REALLY enjoyed reading all your responses! Awesome stuff! And feel free to slam PR to your hearts' content...just be aware I'm not taking the dude TOO seriously!


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> It's up to each and every one of us to stop OURSELVES from cheating.
> 
> When we enter into a committed relationship with someone, we have the responsibility to nurture and protect that relationship with all that we have, and to create a strong foundation from which our lives can grow and evolve. If our SO isn't contributing to the relationship in a like manner, and we find ourselves unhappy, it's up to US to address the problem with them. If they can't or won't, it's then up to us to decide if we're prepared to stay in a less than fulfulling relationship...
> 
> We're not responsible for other people's behaviour, but we are responsible for our own reactions to it. IMO, choosing to cheat is a very negative response to an already negative situation, and can only ever yield an even bigger problem for us to deal with. If we choose to do that, that is our choice and our responsibility.


So, what is the #1 reason men cheat?

And, the #1 reason women cheat?

I'm asking.


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