# Another Cheater Justifying their Crap



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Sorry...I'm a real computer illiterate when it comes to posting links to other sites and articles.

But I just thought I would share a particularly offensive piece of whining/justification that I read today on the website Alternet.org

It's titled, "Why I can't stop cheating on my husband."

It was posted on July 30,2014 and authored by Lea Clark.

She is a serial cheating piece of work...says she knows what she is doing is wrong and loves her BH but just can't stop.

And has about a thousand excuses why, but to her credit doesn't seem to blame her BH for any of it.

Pretty good insight into just how f*cked up some cheaters minds and thinking are.

If any of you guys check it out, maybe you can post a link so others can read it easier.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Why I Can't Stop Cheating on My Husband | Alternet

Interesting read.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Why I Can't Stop Cheating on My Husband | Alternet


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"Interesting read."

Yeah....she is so self-centered and myopic in her views and thinking, I doubt she has ever given a second's thought to what will happen to her BH and children if she ever gets caught.

I just hope her BH finds a place like TAM to help him start to recover his and his children's shattered lives when reality finally catches up with her.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

disgusting cow!


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Dyokemm said:


> I'm a real computer illiterate when it comes to posting links to other sites and articles.


The easiest way to hyperlink an article is simply to copy the address you want linked from the address bar at the top, then paste it into the body of your post.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

3putt,

Thanks


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## PreRaphaelite (Dec 15, 2012)

I read this quite differently. She's not justifying her cheating, quite the reverse. She wants to be abused, she wants others to judge her, call her a slvt-biatch, etc. etc. It's a kind of justification in reverse. The more she's abused, the more she enjoys being a victim. It's definitely narcissism--she wants others to want her but she's got it all twisted up.

She needs some serious help.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

It's another women with daddy issues. It seems like girls who have abusive and/or neglectful fathers ultimately grow up to be real wildcards. Some make that vow to never treat their children the same way they were treated and vow to make the best family they can possibly make - even to the point of being a doormat to another abusive jerk. Others end up constantly seeking approval from a male figure who proxies as a father, where even her husband won't be enough whenever he falls short of what she thinks she needs from a man in order to soothe the wounds inflicted by her father.

I'm no psychologist, but it seems that is what's wrong with that woman in the article. We know very little about the husband, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's far from a perfect man and may in some ways be similar to her father. Who knows. Probably the best thing for her would be to get serious treatment and leave her husband and kids alone until she gets better.


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## IcePrincess28 (Aug 4, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> Sorry...I'm a real computer illiterate when it comes to posting links to other sites and articles.
> 
> But I just thought I would share a particularly offensive piece of whining/justification that I read today on the website Alternet.org
> 
> ...


Hope this helps for future reference. when on the page- click the bar at top that contains the URL (web address) - which is highlighted (in blue). Let go of the clicker. with one finger, hold down the CTRL key (there is one on both sides of the space bar) - and the other finger, press C (this means COPY). Then, when you're posting, wherever in your Post, hit and hold CTRL and the other finger press V. This means PASTE. These are command sequences- also known as CTRL + C, CTRL + V (but don't press the + button). 

FYI CTRL + P will allow you to print that page. 

If you have Apple, then instead of the CTRL button, they have the COMMAND button, one on each side of the spacebar.

3putt said it best- but since you emphasized your computer illiteracy- thought i'd step by step it for ya


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Sounds like a real pig.


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## Nostromo (Feb 8, 2014)

Somehow, beyond comprehension the comments section is even more reprehensible than the article itself. It's filled with people (mostly self identifying as women) sympathizing with her, not her husband, not her children but her the unrepentant serial adulterous. Clearly shes the TRUE victim in all of this.:lol:

EDIT:
I just wiki'd Alternet (never heard of it) and realized it's a "progressive" liberal news site. Of course they would defend this mindless horses**t. Could leftist just stop, like just pack up and leave the country forever? 
I hear Sweden's lovely, at least the non 3rd world parts of it, maybe they could be sent there.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Nostromo,

Yeah....the discussion boards on that site can become quite a free for all on any topic...and extreme positions and views are often openly defended and advocated.

I makes for interesting discussion boards, but it can be shocking to see some of the ideas promoted and actions that are defended.


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

Its scary to think someone can be that over the top, wow


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

But the obvious truth is this woman has serious issues that she needs therapy for....hopefully before she utterly destroys her kids and BH...or worse yet infects BH with a life-long or life-threatening STD from one of her 'validation' sessions.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"Its scary to think someone can be that over the top, wow"

Very true.

And scarier still to realize that there are probably far more of them around us on a daily basis without us even realizing.

Its like swimming in the surf in Florida....on the ground it just looks like normal fun in the waves.

Get in a plane or helo, though, and fly low over the beach and you see all the sharks calmly swimming in the surf amongst the swimmers, all of whom are blissfully unaware.

Lucky for us, sharks don't actively hunt humans....can't say I feel the same comfort about people like this lady in the article.

She sounds like she actively 'hunts' prey all the time to feed whatever demons/issues are driving her.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you search the internet you can find hundreds, if not thousands, of examples of cheaters justifying what they do. There are entire forums and websites dedicated to this. So I'm not sure why one case is even noteworthy.


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## Mostlycontent (Apr 16, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> "Its scary to think someone can be that over the top, wow"
> 
> Very true.
> 
> ...


You know, as a teenager and into my early 20s, I used to swim much deeper in the ocean water than I do now. I used to commonly go beyond the breakers and just swim 200 to 300 yards for some exercise.

After I saw footage very similar to what you described, I quickly put an end to that little practice. I know that most sharks don't have any interest in us humans but all it takes is one. 

Besides, on the east coast here, Bull sharks are fairly common and they are super aggressive compared to most other sharks. I think the large majority of shark attacks off the Florida coast have been by Bull Sharks. So, now I rarely go out past my waist or shoulders because I know better.

It's kind of like 1975 all over again when the movie, Jaws, pretty much ruined this notion that swimming in the ocean was completely safe.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> But the obvious truth is this woman has serious issues that she needs therapy for....hopefully before she utterly destroys her kids and BH...or worse yet infects BH with a life-long or life-threatening STD from one of her 'validation' sessions.


But she made a point of telling us she used protection because somehow that make her cheating less wrong?

Some people just don't want to help themselves. They are fine with their issues and that's the problem they really don't want to change.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

This could have been written by my ex. She didn't have a history of physical abuse, but the emotional abuse she suffered (or perceived she suffered) left her with daddy issues. I don't use the perceived qualifier to belittle emotional abuse. It's just that she is the oldest of 6, and 4 of the 6 had no problems with dad. Her brother, the only
Other one who did didn't have issues with him until he was older and getting into drugs. 

But yeah, STBX told me she never wanted to hurt me, but she couldn't stop. We are divorcing and it's tearing her away from her children and she can't stop. She does need help, but she is the only one who can take that step.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

In re: the original article:

Not again. "I have a good husband, but play the hoe due to my childhood."

We'd all just settle for "I like to play hoe".


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

"I can talk to no one about this, because our society has decided that cheaters are usually just horny men, or occasionally, women craving the love and affection that is missing in their marriage."

So wrong in so many ways.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> It's another women with daddy issues. It seems like girls who have abusive and/or neglectful fathers ultimately grow up to be real wildcards. Some make that vow to never treat their children the same way they were treated and vow to make the best family they can possibly make - even to the point of being a doormat to another abusive jerk. Others end up constantly seeking approval from a male figure who proxies as a father, where even her husband won't be enough whenever he falls short of what she thinks she needs from a man in order to soothe the wounds inflicted by her father.
> 
> I'm no psychologist, but it seems that is what's wrong with that woman in the article. We know very little about the husband, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's far from a perfect man and may in some ways be similar to her father. Who knows. Probably the best thing for her would be to get serious treatment and leave her husband and kids alone until she gets better.


You pretty much always have the caveat in your posts that the BS was imperfect or somehow culpable. There is no such thing as a perfect husband or wife. People, by their very nature, are imperfect. What does that have to do with anything? NOBODY is perfect. Not you, not me, not her husband. So what? Why point out something so painfully obvious?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

I know a woman that is very much like this.

She, however, cheats because of minor things her husband has done wrong.

When he found out about the last one, he had a ONS and she consequently left him, because she "couldn't be with a cheater."

People are all kinds of ****ed up in this world.

That being said, I 100% guarantee her husband isn't quite as much in the dark as she thinks he is, and he's either tolerating it, inwardly in denial, or doing it too.

Nobody can have 5 affairs in 2 years and not have the spouse at least suspicious.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Dyokemm said:


> She is a serial cheating piece of work...says she knows what she is doing is wrong and loves her BH but just can't stop.
> 
> And has about a thousand excuses why, *but to her credit doesn't seem to blame her BH for any of it*.


Wow, that's refreshing!!! Geez, now I don't know whats worse. A serial cheater that doesn't blame their BS, or a non-serial cheater that does.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"Wow, that's refreshing!!! Geez, now I don't know whats worse. A serial cheater that doesn't blame their BS, or a non-serial cheater that does."

They are both bad...but I don't think a serial cheater like this who is driven to cheat by reasons beyond her BH can be fixed by anything except possibly intense therapy and treatment.

For the BH, the only realistic option is to end the M and RUN.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

I know lots of girls with daddy issues. That have never cheated.

I know lots of girls with no daddy issues. That have cheated multiple times.

This smacks more of "I can't be monogamous and I've found a plausible excuse that doesn't make me the bad person."

It's simple. Most marriages are basically an agreement to share assets and to have exclusive access to each other sexually.

You can add all kinds of meaning on top of that -- religious, spiritual, emotional, all the rest. But most marriages are basically "I agree to share all my assets and sexual exclusivity" at the core.

She wants one without the other. And wants to continue getting the benefit of his support and sexual exclusivity without providing the same. He lives up to his end of the deal; she pretends to and actively deceives the other side for her personal gain.

Which is pretty much the definition of contractual fraud. Which is the heart of the problem here.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Dyokemm said:


> Sorry...I'm a real computer illiterate when it comes to posting links to other sites and articles.
> 
> But I just thought I would share a particularly offensive piece of whining/justification that I read today on the website Alternet.org
> 
> ...


Oh. Bipolar issues? That's a major problem. Not all people with bipolar cheat but a lot do. Often during their manic phase.

Then in the non-manic phase the guilt comes.


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