# Alphas have more sex than betas?



## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

DIY is in decline because today's men are too soft - Telegraph


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Eh, everything seems to tie back to that 1 study done in the 90s which other studies have proven wrong.

But I do think that DIY is an important skill, just not just for the boys. 
H is teaching me, son and daughter because it is important to him for everyone to know how to rely on themselves to fix things, not just the boys. 
He also doesn't want DD to be stuck somewhere with a flat and get herself in danger so at 7 she's already out there learning how to change a tire.

I don't think DIY is just an alpha thing but I do think boys should learn how to cook, clean, do laundry and other typical "women" stuff as well. 

It makes for a more rounded, self sufficient person and that is the most sexy person IMO


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
As technology changes, the idea of DIY changes. People may not know how to unblock sinks, but do know how to install new operating systems on their computers.

I also think that people are busier now - both with work and entertainment. Also many things like cars are no longer designed to be repaired at home. 

I don't do much fixing of stuff at home because I earn a lot more than a plumber or carpenter, and would do a worse job. Better to work a few hours extra and pay a professional to do things right.


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## Bridge (Dec 27, 2013)

Q tip, would you like to extrapolate


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> I don't do much fixing of stuff at home because I earn a lot more than a plumber or carpenter, and would do a worse job. Better to work a few hours extra and pay a professional to do things right.


I do to, but still do it myself.

I just can't bring myself to pay $100-200 bucks for something I can easily do myself for 1/10th the cost.

And often I do BETTER job.

I don't agree with you at all. It's not better. I'm a big do it yourself er and don't mind getting my hands dirty. After all, I sit on my arse in the office all day so DIY is more of an offset to my physical laziness (amongst other things).

I also love the sense of accomplishment DIY gives me.

I'm a DIY but PLEASE don't call me Alpha or any of that crap....thx


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Bridge said:


> Q tip, would you like to extrapolate


Last couple of paragraphs said this. Wish they would extrapolate. I really love statements without data, fact or thought nowhere around. 

I can fix just about anything around. Or break it trying! Lol. 

IMO, That alpha beta thing... Best to have a healthy mix of both. Too many boys are brought up to please the women in their lives. From childhood at home, high % female teachers at school and onwards they've been trained. Seems no one teaches them to be a man. Or sets high expectations of manhood in their lives. That's what I've seen across a few generations now.


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## Bridge (Dec 27, 2013)

Q tip said:


> I really love statements without data, fact or thought nowhere around.


aaaaaaa


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Bridge said:


> aaaaaaa


Ooooooh...
:rofl:


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

I don't care how much money a man makes, there is just something S-E-X-Y about a man who knows how to, and does, fix stuff! I don't know whether it releases endorphins or what, but all things being equal, if I had to choose between a man who fixes stuff and a man who pays someone to fix stuff, I would choose the first one every time. It is just something about the DIY'er that causes sensations in my ovaries.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I agree being able to fix stuff vs. always paying someone to fix stuff is a sexy attribute even where money isn't an object. 

Unfortunately for me, men do NOT find it as sexy in women as women do in men! 

My nickname at work given to me by some single women is "Martha Villa". Martha Stewart for sewing/cooking/decorating/hostessing not for fraud; and Bob Villa for the assorted projects I undertake around my house.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I agree being able to fix stuff vs. always paying someone to fix stuff is a sexy attribute even where money isn't an object.
> 
> Unfortunately for me, men do NOT find it as sexy in women as women do in men!
> 
> My nickname at work given to me by some single women is "Martha Villa". Martha Stewart for sewing/cooking/decorating/hostessing not for fraud; and Bob Villa for the assorted projects I undertake around my house.


I admire women who can fix stuff. I LOVE Nicole on HGTV who takes abandoned houses and fixes them. She says her goal is to improve neighborhoods. I think she does it mostly in Detroit.

Well men, how DO you feel about seeing women fix stuff and do home improvements? Is it sexy? I would LOVE to be able to do stuff like that but I already have enough duties around the house. It would be an unfair distribution of labor. LOL!


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Q tip said:


> Seems no one teaches them to be a man. Or sets high expectations of manhood in their lives. That's what I've seen across a few generations now.


Which , of course, is why it is so important that we shut down the Boy Scouts before they undo decades of indoctrination. <sarcasm>


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## nanofaan (Aug 1, 2014)

is Alpha = bad boys ?


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

nanofaan said:


> is Alpha = bad boys ?


Nope. A$$holes are bad boys. got a book for you. 

Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 by Athol Kay. 

A great read for all guys, married or single.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Looks like the betas will be taking a defensive position on this...


...joking ok?


I do love a woman who does the feminine stuff at home and out. Wow. Great ladies out there. There's hope for the world!!!


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I agree being able to fix stuff vs. always paying someone to fix stuff is a sexy attribute even where money isn't an object.
> 
> Unfortunately for me, men do NOT find it as sexy in women as women do in men!
> 
> My nickname at work given to me by some single women is "Martha Villa". Martha Stewart for sewing/cooking/decorating/hostessing not for fraud; and Bob Villa for the assorted projects I undertake around my house.


You've restored my faith. There are real women out there!


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

thefam said:


> I admire women who can fix stuff. I LOVE Nicole on HGTV who takes abandoned houses and fixes them. She says her goal is to improve neighborhoods. I think she does it mostly in Detroit.


Minneapolis A lot of DIY/HGTV is done there for some reason.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *Thefam said*: *I don't care how much money a man makes, there is just something S-E-X-Y about a man who knows how to, and does, fix stuff! I don't know whether it releases endorphins or what, but all things being equal, if I had to choose between a man who fixes stuff and a man who pays someone to fix stuff, I would choose the first one every time. It is just something about the DIY'er that causes sensations in my ovaries*.


 There really IS something TO THIS... I so resonate.. the truth is.. my husband is swimming in the Beta traits (as listed below)..... but he is an awesome Handy man....who can craft his own tools when he gets in a bind.. I never have to worry if something breaks..he is there to the rescue...to fix us up.... we have saved so much  over the yrs in car repairs & house anything due to his skills.. (and I LIKE to save $$ !)...

I have always been more physically attracted to a Man in work boots, some dirt on his face even... over one freshly shaven in a suit & tie.... that just oozes "*MAN*" to me... 

Mmmm sexy handy man *>>*











Q tip said:


> DIY is in decline because today's men are too soft - Telegraph


I read this quickly , it seems to infer that men become BETA if they help with housework... 

In a world where women are working just as much, this is inevitable, isn't it? Women want to work so men gotta push the vacuum too.. pretty much a shame if it sucks the sex life right along with it...

When I hear the terms Beta and ALPHA.. I tend to look upon these definitions....



> The *Alpha Traits* are those associated with classic “manly man” strengths. Power, dominance, physical ability, bravery, wealth, cool and confidence. Oh and good genes. These are the things that attract women and turn them on sexually. The Alpha Traits are linked to the dopamine response in women.
> 
> *Alpha *= attraction building = Dopamine = In Love = Excitement





> The *Beta Traits* are those associated with the strengths of being a nice guy / “family man”. Kindness, being a good listener, the ability to help with the children, dependability, thoughtfulness, compassion and patience. These all create a sense of comfort and safety for the woman, and relax her because she feels that if she became pregnant, the Beta Trait male isn’t going to abandon her and the baby.
> 
> *Beta *= comfort building = Oxytocin / Vasopressin = Pair Bond = Calm Enjoyment"


So Alpha Traits create attraction and that “in love” feeling, and Beta Traits create the pair bond and makes her feel relaxed enough to have sex. You need a balance of both Alpha and Beta in a marriage to maximize her desire to have sex with you.

We are a more traditional type family.. I do all the housework/ cooking / cleaning..... but really whether Traditional or Modern ...I think so much depends on how a couple feels about each other & how much they...well... love doin' it ...taking that time for intimacy..

However...If a woman is feeling over worked / pulled every which way by kids, her job, Husband and she feels he isn't pulling his weight at home, sharing those responsibilities... this can lead to resentment ...and the sex life is one of the 1st things to suffer..


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## Canon in D (Aug 24, 2014)

I too find men who can fix stuff sexy. My husband however hates it, he has no patience for that, now that doesn't mean he makes a lot either.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

My FIL fancies himself as a jack of all trades. He and my H installed a new disposal in the kitchen. It failed within a year. The second one my H installed himself. Less than a year later and if you run the disposal while there's water in the sink, you get a literal explosion of water from underneath. Last time it actually shot out from behind the cabinets and got both my pants and feet wet.

H insists it's bad plumbing and nothing he did. Nevertheless, I've asked him to call a plumber.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

SurpriseMyself said:


> My FIL fancies himself as a jack of all trades. He and my H installed a new disposal in the kitchen. It failed within a year. The second one my H installed himself. Less than a year later and if you run the disposal while there's water in the sink, you get a literal explosion of water from underneath. Last time it actually shot out from behind the cabinets and got both my pants and feet wet.
> 
> H insists it's bad plumbing and nothing he did. Nevertheless, I've asked him to call a plumber.


Or have in read the installation instructions. Lol


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

ve don't need no stinking instructions!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

My parents were separated when I was a kid. My dad was definitely in my life, but he taught me almost no DIY stuff, even though he was very skilled at such.

As a result I don't have much skill. I've got a multi head screwdriver that I'm in love with, I know how to assemble things, but I only do light DIY around the house. I've actually always been very DIY with things like computers and other machines of the like. I don't know jack about cars, electrical, HvAc and only a little about plumbing. 

I know my wife likes that DIY activity, but it's nowhere near crucial to her. Her attraction to me is definitely not based on it and I'm getting far more enthusiastic, lively, passionate, hungry sexual attention from my wife than lots of poor, sex starved chaps who can build a house from the ground up.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

jaquen said:


> My parents were separated when I was a kid. My dad was definitely in my life, but he taught me almost no DIY stuff, even though he was very skilled at such.
> 
> As a result I don't have much skill. I've got a multi head screwdriver that I'm in love with, I know how to assemble things, but I only do light DIY around the house. I've actually always been very DIY with things like computers and other machines of the like. I don't know jack about cars, electrical, HvAc and only a little about plumbing.
> 
> I know my wife likes that DIY activity, but it's nowhere near crucial to her. Her attraction to me is definitely not based on it and I'm getting far more enthusiastic, lively, passionate, hungry sexual attention from my wife than lots of poor, sex starved chaps who can build a house from the ground up.


YOu don't know these things because you have not taken steps to teach YOURSELF.

My father didn't teach me ANY of that either, but I took the initiative to learn as I went and am now a HUGE DIY.

I fix anything and everything you can think of.

Just 20 years ago as I had no clue....but I had the *willingness to learn*.

In bold is what you have missing.....

And no, I don't do things myself to attract my wife. I do it to get **** done and not overpay someone. I also do it cause I enjoy learning new things and getting my hands dirty (to offset office work)....and most importantly, I LOVE the sense of accomplishment......even if the road to get there was HORRIBLE.

It feels good when I'm done and say "I did this".


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

It's funny, but I don't consider myself a handy man who can fix anything. However, my wife and I have tackled a number of issues on our own - primarily to save money. I put up new shelves in the garage by using heavy duty braces and 3/4" plywood (of course, drilling into the studs), hung homemade shelves in the basement and had the pleasure of using a masonry drill bit (or 4), fixed drywall, painted numerous rooms, have replaced plenty of outlets, switches, ceiling fans and put in new breakers and ran electrical wire to put in new outlets. We've also done our own landscaping, trimmed trees, bushes, etc. etc. 

Is that seen as manly? IDK, but I know we saved ourselves some money. Ironically, I'm better at wiring and electrical work than plumbing. Also, is it manly to cuss like crazy in the middle of a project? Because that's what I do (too many times) and probably lose any attraction I could have built up by getting pissed over something not going right with the project.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

DoF said:


> YOu don't know these things because you have not taken steps to teach YOURSELF.


I've taught plenty to MYSELF. Thanks.



DoF said:


> You seem more bothered by my lack of DIY than I do. Get a grip.
> 
> My father didn't teach me ANY of that either, but I took the initiative to learn as I went and am now a HUGE DIY.
> 
> ...


That's nice? What do you want, a cookie? A hammer?



DoF said:


> In bold is what you have missing.....
> 
> And no, I don't do things myself to attract my wife. I do it to get **** done and not overpay someone. I also do it cause I enjoy learning new things and getting my hands dirty (to offset office work)....and most importantly, I LOVE the sense of accomplishment......even if the road to get there was HORRIBLE.
> 
> It feels good when I'm done and say "I did this".


And I've run out of damns to give. Literally the way DIY makes you feel has jack crap to do with me. It's baffling that you think it would.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Meh, I've never been into "tradies", never dated one, never wanted to. Give me a white collar worker any day, a man that can pay for DIY to be done and take me out for dinner while some other poor ****** has to get their hands dirty.

My Mr White Collar worker gets all the sex he wants and more, no need to be a DIY expert here.

I found the article to be seriously whiny and "poor me", the author might be served well by growing up.



> At some point this century, bombarded by an agonizingly right-on, feminist, PC doctrine through the liberal media, many men decided it was time to stop being men and embrace their inner sister.
> Metropolitan, largely office-working men launched a mass PR campaign to win the hearts and minds of women – and their peers. They publicly decried wolf whistling and Page 3 of The Sun - while privately consuming a tidal wave of internet porn (ironically making them do-it-yourselfers in a very different sense).
> Men were clamouring over themselves to be seen as anything but sexist.


A good man should be clamouring over himself to not be a sexist pig. Since when was wolf whistling considered a manly thing to do? IME it has always been the realm of the lower IQ and EQ man. 

As for DIY being on the decline, it is the reverse here in Aussie, one of the biggest growing retail sectors is hardware and DIY. Home ownership is on the rise but people can choose to either DIY or outsource, that does not mean less sex, less manliness, it means people have more choices and yay for that.


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

Why would I ever waste my days working on stuff around the home or mowing the lawn when I can just pay someone to do it? 

This whole DIY is complete bull. Yes, it does get women all excited but so does 100 other things. I never had trouble getting laid in the past and my current girl cannot keep her hands off of me. And why is that? Being dominate, working out, and educated. 

Sex in marriages fall apart because of stress and being bored and one letting themselves go. Not because the man hired a a fat plumber to fix the sink pipes.

And no, watching a women work around the house (such as vacuum, cleaning, whatever) is not sexy. Coming home after a stressful day and she's in panties and a tiny team jersey is sexy. Rather then coming home and seeing her running all over the house with gloves and cleaning products and giving you an evil look because you didn't do 'your part'. Pay a good maid 80$ a week and everyone's part is solved.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

DoF said:


> YOu don't know these things because you have not taken steps to teach YOURSELF.
> 
> My father didn't teach me ANY of that either, but I took the initiative to learn as I went and am now a HUGE DIY.
> 
> I fix anything and everything you can think of.


 I can't say my Husband's dad showed him a whole lot while growing up.. at least not with vehicles (his dad always paid a Mechanic)...but he did help him build a couple Garages.. His dad was a carpenter on the side.. not his day job though... 

Not everyone makes 6 figures or can easily afford to hire out for help... 

For those who can...that's wonderful and it keeps others in a job...but some of us have to do what we have to do..to get by..

This would describe us in our early marriage.. Husband wanted a 4x4...icy roads to get to work.. we always watched our $$ carefully...(neither of us can stand to be in debt & we'd skimp to save a $1).... he found what he wanted... a work truck -a ton of new parts, a steal deal.. but the catch ~ it was in pieces, needed hauled home on a flatbed & put together !

I remember thinking "







you are not going to buy that [email protected]#"... but him & a friend -they were up for the task... 

The friend , a poor mechanic -but he knew how to get anything running.. .took them 3 weeks to put this baby together.... rebuilding the engine here ....







...I remember laying on the ground helping him get the transmission in....the Body work... it was crazy watching 6 men trying to connect the cab to the bed of this truck one night .. we took a # of trips to the junk yard, taking our little boy in a wagon with our lunches.. 

Looking back on this experience...I feel because of it.. is why my H has his better job today (which has allowed me to stay home with the kids -what we both wanted-if we could swing it).... He spoke of this experience putting this 4x4 chevy together at the interview...they were looking for a Mechanical laborer.. (he only worked in a grocery store!).... so it had it's purpose...he was so proud of that darn truck..it wouldn't be much to others.. but it was an accomplishment to my husband ..... 

I remember the exhilaration we felt taking our 1st official drive down the road...I was so proud of him...


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