# Is this possible?



## hopeless husband (Mar 14, 2010)

Wife wants a divorce. I do not. However, I know I can't stop her. My question is this.

Is it possible for us to both share a lawyer? We have sat down and talked about who will get what. All we need to do is have a lawyer file it, correct? BTW, luckily we have no children.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

No, it would violate a code of ethics on their part.

However, there's nothing to say it can't be done minimally. Her attorney drafts it (since she wants the divorce, it would be fair for her to draft it). You have your attorney review it, mainly to make sure there's nothing you have forgotten and then it's a done deal and filed.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

If you're going though with it... (sorry for that).
But be very careful and make sure you're both commited to this.
Laywers are very good at pointing out how this is not fair for you or her... next think you know and 20k later... you're back to where you would have been.

Its a tough time. If its going to happen, just be flexible to get it behind you asap... and move on with life.

I knwo im blabbing on... little off topic.

Yes. You could use same or no laywer in some states. I like scanner guards idea best. Main thing is you want it closed! Nothing left hanging. You should want someone to review that on your behalf.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

True - (and yes, sorry for you). . .don't let him/her squabble over matters that may be small potatoes.

Your lawyer works for you, not the other way around. 

That being said, we don't know much. I know at the beginning the person who doesn't want the divorce and still loves the otehr partner can surrender too much in an effort to "preserve good relations."

You want to be able to accept good counsel and not give away the farm.

But perhaps you have little assets and/or liabilities and it's a simple case. . .then you may just want to make it simple.


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## hyndsight1 (Jan 28, 2010)

If you and your stb-x are POSITIVE with the details (division of assets/debt), you should be able to go to your local court and file yourself. In my state they offer a 'packet' which includes all the documents and a step by step. Not necesarily suggesting this, but it is an option. Some lawyers are willing to 'coach' you through this at their hourly rate, and also check your work to make sure all your i's are dotted. And as above, you should be able to use one lawyer if both sides are in agreement, but if s**t gets deep, he will only be able to represent one side.


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## boarderwayne (Feb 14, 2010)

My stb-ex and I were in the same boat, she wanted the divorce and I didn't. Realizing the same thing you did that there's nothing I can do to stop it here's what I did: 

We sat down and agreed how things would be split. I took it upon myself to seek a lawyer, I also had to ask if they could rep. both of us. What ended up happening is we sat down together with the lawyer, she said she can't represent both of us because of the law. She said she would represent me because I was the one to contact her:smthumbup:, and that she could choose to legally represent herself if she wished(she did and signed a form saying she chooses to rep herself). To make her comfortable with the idea I told her we would write everything up together with my lawyer so she didn't feel she was getting the short end of the stick. We discussed everything and agreed upon terms together with the lawyer as she wrote things up. The lawyer would then send both of us copies of things to get approval before moving forward. I would highly recommend YOU retain the lawyer though, because then the balls in your court more or less, you have the upper hand. Just don't try to pull a quick one on her or she'll seek her own council and things will start to get expensive and ugly real quick.

A word of advice though, try to remain civil and coolheaded throughout this whole ordeal. It's hard as hell to do sometimes but if you can avoid confrontation and fighting throughout this it will hopefully make things a little smoother. It's like mom used to tell us when we were kids "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". 

Best of luck to you


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