# Am I over thinking



## [email protected]

My husband and I have been seeing each other for four years , we have been married for a year . He is a wonderful husband and a great father to our son ! 

My issue is I feel like he has an infatuation with our sister in law ( his brothers wife).. 
She is a do it all beautiful lady. I actually get along with her wonderfully. At first I just thought he was just sort of wanting to get to know her better and find out common interests... 
Lately it has gotten to the point he is constantly calling her for advice ( they are both into making wine 🍷) . Also she has been really into identifying different wild plants and berries and such and has purchased a book with all sorts of plants and berries , what is ok to consume and what is toxic etc. So now my husband is all sorts of into plants and identification . Has taken a big interest into other likes she has. 
I have not talked to him about it . First off I do not want to bring up something that I may be over analyzing or overthinking . Second , I do not want to cause any discomfort when we are arround her. 

It has been bugging me a lot lately and it gets to the point I do not want to go visit ( his parents and her and her husband live about 45 minutes away). We usually stay overnight a few times a month when we visit. I just hate how I feel after we have been down for a visit. I don’t even want to have intimate relations for quite a few days after, I would fear he would be thinking of her😢. 

Am I overthinking or over annalizing ?


----------



## BluesPower

[email protected] said:


> My husband and I have been seeing each other for four years , we have been married for a year . He is a wonderful husband and a great father to our son !
> 
> My issue is I feel like he has an infatuation with our sister in law ( his brothers wife)..
> She is a do it all beautiful lady. I actually get along with her wonderfully. At first I just thought he was just sort of wanting to get to know her better and find out common interests...
> Lately it has gotten to the point he is constantly calling her for advice ( they are both into making wine 🍷) . Also she has been really into identifying different wild plants and berries and such and has purchased a book with all sorts of plants and berries , what is ok to consume and what is toxic etc. So now my husband is all sorts of into plants and identification . Has taken a big interest into other likes she has.
> I have not talked to him about it . First off I do not want to bring up something that I may be over analyzing or overthinking . Second , I do not want to cause any discomfort when we are arround her.
> 
> It has been bugging me a lot lately and it gets to the point I do not want to go visit ( his parents and her and her husband live about 45 minutes away). We usually stay overnight a few times a month when we visit. I just hate how I feel after we have been down for a visit. I don’t even want to have intimate relations for quite a few days after, I would fear he would be thinking of her😢.
> 
> Am I overthinking or over annalizing ?


No you are not, more that one affair has started this way. 

But you have to talk to him, he def sounds infatuated and THAT is a problem, whether he is actually having an affair or not. 

The other thing you could do is check his phone and see if anything "out of line" is there. 

But yes, you should be watchful of this situation...


----------



## [email protected]

It makes me feel a bit better that I might not be over reacting. It just makes me feel so frustrated that I feel I can’t compete for my husbands attention.


----------



## arbitrator

*Time for a rather expeditious "Come to Jesus Meeting" with him! 

Where there's smoke there's usually fire!*


----------



## [email protected]

arbitrator - you are right , it’s time to take him to church and let him know it’s not right !


----------



## VibrantWings

I haven't seen them together myself so I'm hesitant to say that it's SURELY an affair. However, you have a right to your feelings and NEED to share them with your husband. 
Tell him what bothers you about it all. There is nothing wrong with expecting your husband to give YOU most of the attention instead of another woman.


----------



## [email protected]

Thank you ! I will defiantly have a conversation with him. I just thought it was a bit of a jealously thing at first . But I think it has escalated from that . I do feel it has gotten to the point that it is unhealthy . I really appreciate all of your insights and advice ! I hate to bring up topics like this with him because most of the time I feel like I over think a lot . But now that I have gotten it off my chest I feel I have to bring it up to him!!


----------



## Diana7

Yes do talk to him. Also you say you stay overnight there several times a month, that seems a lot. Is that every weekend? Maybe go once a month.


----------



## sunsetmist

Any chance he has always wanted what his brother has/had all of their lives? With that foundation everything else easily falls into place. You are wise to address this infatuation NOW.


----------



## [email protected]

We do stay overnight of the time we go down. I would say at least 2 tweekends a month we go down . Sometime we see them when they come up. But I did suggest we stay overnight at his parents house a month or two ago instead of her and his brothers house . I told him I sleep better there which was not a lie for more reasons then one ! I do love his family though and spending time with her s parents !


----------



## [email protected]

No he doesn’t seem to envious of his brother like that . Not that he has ever mentioned at least .


----------

