# Can't imagine doing this for another day let alone another decade



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

I wasn't sure where to put this topic. 

A little background my husband was out of work for more than a year putting all the burden on me. He deliberately was not looking. I guess I had been stressing and worrying so much about it, I hadn't had time to stop and think about it.

I decided to take an onsite consulting role and I have completed the first week and I must say I hate it.

I dread going in there on Monday. I can't imagine doing this job another day. I feel sick and trapped in this career. I am at the top of my field and people would be shocked it I gave it all up.

I worked very hard to get to this place and now I am just burnt out. I did take some time off but it hasn't helped because of worrying about all the bills piling up with hubby not working.

I feel always on the short end of the stick. 

I am over 50 and have no idea what else I could do? I certainly don't want it to be anything even remotely to what I do now.

Has anyone made a drastic career change later in life? How did you do it? What did you do?

I haven't the slightest idea of what I would be interested in doing. I have always just put my needs on the back burner second to everyone else and their problems.

How do I figure this out?


----------



## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

There are many people who make changes to their careers later in life, but you may not reach the pinnacle you've reached in your current field because you simply don't have as many years left to work as you did when you started out. 

On the other hand, you're likely to be able to find work that is rewarding even if it doesn't pay well. 

You have two problems going on... your unhappiness with your career, and a deadbeat husband. If you can motivate him to get off his duff and work, you'll be better able to switch careers, but it may take drastic action on your part, including leaving the relationship. 

But in any case, to figure out what to do for your career... 

1. Brainstorm things that interest you. Hobbies, things you've seen on television that fascinate you, etc. One of my friends got burned out in his very successful career and decided to give it all up to do his hobby full time - making a single, specialized part for hot rods. He lived off his savings quite a while, but has now turned his business profitable. He loves it, works from home, and has never regretted his decision though he lives in a much smaller house and doesn't travel as much as he once did.

2. Consider what kind of skills you have that can be transferred to other lines of work. For instance, if you manage people in your current career, you probably have leadership skills that apply to other areas, too.

3. Browse job boards and read job descriptions to see what piques your interest. 

4. Consider volunteering or taking a new hobby in addition to your current career while you're trying to figure this out. It will open your networking opportunities and introduce new possibilities into your life.


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

I know there are companies that do testing which assesses your skills and gives you very specific careers for which your skill set is well-suited. 

You might do well to check one of them out, take the battery of tests (it's quite extensive) and see what THEY come up with.

Good luck!


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

There are things that I am skilled at but I hate doing. 

Hobbies, they seem so unrealistic that lots of people want to do these things but seldom make money at it.

Singing
Dancing
Art
Writing

I took a test just one and it really described me very very well.

The category I fit into is called Inventor.

It is funny that my current career is on the list. Apparently it is suited to me and I'm good at it but too bad I have come to hate it after all these years.

Other careers would require additional degrees.

For example Mathematician, Architect, Psychologist.

I'm not interested in getting another degree at this time.

Artist, writer, entertainer, photographer are also on the list.

I hope to get these debts paid off and not have to worry that much about money.


----------



## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Let's take a look at your hobbies for a second. You said you find it unrealistic to imagine making a living at a hobby you have. Consider the first one on your list: singing.

You may not make a career of being onstage, yet could still merge singing with a new career. Voice instructor, studio singer for background vocals, talent agent are a few possibilities that come to my mind.

You could start an after-school recreation program for a select age group of children. For a fee, parents place their child in your care for a couple of hours while you oversee some creative exercises that you design for the appropriate age group. Maybe you work on a stage performance for six weeks, then explore art media for six weeks, and so on.

Anyway, the only limit to what you can do is your imagination. As an inventor, you can create your own job description.


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Thank you. I see what you are saying. More thinking to do.


----------



## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

Tigger,

Do I remember correctly that you're an engineer? I'm a software developer, so I can relate to being in a technical field. While all jobs can have stressful moments, I don't think people always understand how high-pressure technical jobs can be. Given how much education, training, and money we cost, we're expected to deliver fairly concrete results, and those expectations can wear on you.

Add to that that most of us get into these fields because we're generally passionate about them, you have a perfect recipe for burnout.

I know you say you don't want to do anything related to your current field, and I can totally dig on that, but sometimes a change in scenery, circumstances, or responsibilities can breath new life into a career.

For instance, have you thought about teaching? If you're at the top of your game, why not pass on those years of experience to the new blood? My most valuable profs in college where the adjuncts that still had one foot in the real world and hadn't been in academia for twenty years. You could adjunct at a local university, or even teach one of the hard sciences at the secondary level (if you feel like dealing with high-schoolers).

If not that, why not get into the lecture circuit? I'm sure engineering (irrespective of your specific field) has lots of seminars, webinars, and other various talks. If you're good at presenting and selling yourself, you could retire and live off of working those kinds of talks.

If you really and truly don't want to be involved in that career field anymore, then don't sell yourself short on making money at your hobbies. You say you like to write. Look into self publishing e-books. There can be good money in that if you're good at writing and know how to market your work.

Your other hobbies are tougher nuts to crack. You could make money at art, but that's a 50/50 shot at best. Singing and dancing, well, I honestly don't know how well those pay.

Regardless, I'd start setting aside as much money as you can. If you're husband won't get a job, then you'll want to sock away as much money as possible for your career change.


----------



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

FYI, you don't need a degree to be a writer. It takes a lot of time, patience, dedication and work perfecting each writing project you begin, and the field is very competitive, but there's nothing that says you can't be successful at it. You could start by submitting your work to some smaller writing magazines and writing contests. Maybe take some individual writing classes through your community college. 

You'd be surprised the opportunities there are for people who are interesting in writing. It would depend on what you want to write, but there are still a great many opportunities.


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Davelli0331 said:


> Tigger,
> 
> Do I remember correctly that you're an engineer? I'm a software developer, so I can relate to being in a technical field. While all jobs can have stressful moments, I don't think people always understand how high-pressure technical jobs can be. Given how much education, training, and money we cost, we're expected to deliver fairly concrete results, and those expectations can wear on you.
> 
> ...


Yes, people truly have no idea the kind of stress people like us are under.

It's funny you mention the teaching and speaking as that is what I have been doing along with consulting. I took it to the next level thinking the same that a change in scenery, responsibilities, etc. would make a difference in how I feel.

Guess, what happened. I hate speaking and writing about it too! I am just sick of it! I give workshops, webinars, wrote a book, write articles...I'm sick of talking about it! When I go to research and do this, I procrastinate and hate it.

I feel like I am singing the song twinkle twinkle little star over and over all day every day for the rest of my life! 

I'm doing a keynote very soon and I am dreading it! 

Yes, I am scaling down in paying off debts and saving money so I don't feel stuck doing this for the rest of my days.

Oh and the good news is hubby finally got a job and is working now!

Some other jobs I have been thinking about is freelance graphic and web design. lol yeah way under what I do now but it is something I can do from home and make some money.

Building and construction manager

Mining manager.

I do like these traditionally male type careers. 

For the artsy things, I thought of having a recording studio

some sort of art studio where I make things and teach

Writing fiction novels - something to try out. 

Finishing the online courses I am writing and hopefully they would give some income without having to do too much with them until I figure something else out.


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Created2Write said:


> FYI, you don't need a degree to be a writer. It takes a lot of time, patience, dedication and work perfecting each writing project you begin, and the field is very competitive, but there's nothing that says you can't be successful at it. You could start by submitting your work to some smaller writing magazines and writing contests. Maybe take some individual writing classes through your community college.
> 
> You'd be surprised the opportunities there are for people who are interesting in writing. It would depend on what you want to write, but there are still a great many opportunities.


Fortunately I am published in my field so I could leverage that into other types of writing.

I have a friend who moved from very technical writing to a rather successful fiction author.


----------



## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Tigger said:


> Fortunately I am published in my field so I could leverage that into other types of writing.
> 
> I have a friend who moved from very technical writing to a rather successful fiction author.


If fiction is something you want to do, I suggest taking a class or two through your community college. The classes are cheap and you don't have to be pursuing a degree to take them. I loved all of my writing classes. One of my best short stories was contrived through my Intro to Writing Fiction class. And, bonus, it was online, so you could find a class that you can do from home too!

I'm sure you already know this, but the greatest tip I've ever gotten about how to be a great fiction writer, isn't only to write a lot, but to *read* a lot. A lot of great readers don't always become writers, but there is no such thing as a great writer who isn't also a great reader.  

Also, look up creative writing forums online and join them. They have published authors come and talk about the publishing process, the differences between standard publishing and self-publishing, how to find an agent, etc.


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Created2Write said:


> If fiction is something you want to do, I suggest taking a class or two through your community college. The classes are cheap and you don't have to be pursuing a degree to take them. I loved all of my writing classes. One of my best short stories was contrived through my Intro to Writing Fiction class. And, bonus, it was online, so you could find a class that you can do from home too!
> 
> I'm sure you already know this, but the greatest tip I've ever gotten about how to be a great fiction writer, isn't only to write a lot, but to *read* a lot. A lot of great readers don't always become writers, but there is no such thing as a great writer who isn't also a great reader.
> 
> Also, look up creative writing forums online and join them. They have published authors come and talk about the publishing process, the differences between standard publishing and self-publishing, how to find an agent, etc.


Maybe I wasn't clear but I am already a published author. I have written 2 books and many articles and papers.


----------



## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

Alternatively examine why you hate it and see at the pinnacle of your profession if you have the clout to make the adjustments needed to create a poistion you will enjoy. 

Then call out your husband and get him off his ass


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Yes, I have spent the past 3-4 years examining why I hate it. I thought I was making the adjustments by starting my own company.

I didn't want to come to the conclusion that I simple hate this and everything about it but after trying to make it work, I believe that is the case.

I am supposed to be rehearsing my keynote and preparing for 2 interviews with the media and here I am sitting here surfing the net.

I do think my husband laying around for a year didn't help the situation. Now that he is working again, I can get these debts paid off and then think about seriously taking time away to do something else.


----------



## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Maybe you can do musical lectures!!!! 


LOL

Graphic & web design would be something you can learn and start before giving up your career entirely. You might even find that you feel less stressed in your career if you have an outlet like this, too.

You could also write books about your areas of interest: "Sopranos in Rock" or "How to Break into a Music Career" where you include interviews, etc.


----------



## tryingtoenjoylife (Mar 30, 2012)

Tigger,

I would be curious to know where you took an online job skills/likes test. I have been at the same job for 20 plus years and I am burned out. I would like to do something new, but fear the loss of income.



Tigger said:


> Yes, people truly have no idea the kind of stress people like us are under.
> 
> It's funny you mention the teaching and speaking as that is what I have been doing along with consulting. I took it to the next level thinking the same that a change in scenery, responsibilities, etc. would make a difference in how I feel.
> 
> ...


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Hi I have sent you a pm with the info


----------



## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

Tigger,
I don't want to be a killjoy here because the fact that you hate what you are doing for a living and feel trapped/impacted is a very real issue that needs attention.... but...

How do you think people would be responding if the genders were reversed?

I've known plenty of men who work at jobs they hate and feel stuck in them because their families rely on their current income level, and their wives are SAHW/SAHM or semi-retired, or have hobby jobs, and for the most part they just 'suck it up' because they have to, and don't feel that it would be right to complain, and that if they did people would respond negatively to them. 

Just be aware there is a huge gender-based double standard on this topic in our culture. That's all.


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Anubis said:


> Tigger,
> I don't want to be a killjoy here because the fact that you hate what you are doing for a living and feel trapped/impacted is a very real issue that needs attention.... but...
> 
> How do you think people would be responding if the genders were reversed?
> ...


That is good to know but has nothing to do with my situation. 
No children at home.

They put themselves into the situation. It is up to them to get out of it.

I am in my situation and up to me to get out of it which is why I am asking the questions.


----------



## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

Anubis said:


> Tigger,
> I don't want to be a killjoy here because the fact that you hate what you are doing for a living and feel trapped/impacted is a very real issue that needs attention.... but...
> 
> How do you think people would be responding if the genders were reversed?
> ...


I agree with you 100%. For certain topics, TAM is very much rooted in conservative, traditional gender roles, and it can be very frustrating when anyone of either gender wants to break out of that role and is instead beaten down by TAMmers who project their own worldview on everyone else.

Having said that, I fully support either spouse wanting to change careers once they reach burnout. I've been there before. No one deserves to be miserable.

Tigger, you said that since you've already been published, you think you could transition that to other genres. That sounds like a great path IMO. I can't think of a better retirement than sitting around the house all day writing fiction and getting paid for it.

If you're new to writing, maybe start with short stories, then work your way up to novellas and then full-length novels. It's not as hard as you think, esp if you're an avid reader.

Created2Write has good suggestions about taking cont ed classes and the like. There are also lots of really good online sources for becoming a better writer. One I visit frequently is Writer's Digest. Some of their content is paid, but a lot of the free stuff is golden, too.


----------



## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

Tigger said:


> I am in my situation and up to me to get out of it which is why I am asking the questions.


Glad to see such a direct view on things. 

If I were in your shoes, I think the first thing I would do is take an inventory of the various factors in your situation. Such as:

- What is your retirement plan / vision? 
- When do you plan/hope to retire?
- What do you hope to doing when retiring? (work part time, travel, etc)
- What financial needs will you have in retirement.
- All the same questions for your spouse

- What are your current financial needs now?
- what are your financial needs between now and retirement?
- Any big bills going to paid off? (mortgage, student loans, etc)
- How much savings and investing do you need to be doing for retirement (see above)
- All the same questions for your spouse

- Do you have any special needs now of in the future (medical, events, etc?)

- Any other economically impacting events on the map? (inheritance, kids college, etc)

- What are the "Must Do" Bucket list things? How much time and $ will they require?

Use this to see if you can get from right now to retirement, doing what you are currently doing.

If you can, do you have room to spare? i.e. you're making $100k/yr, but can reach your goals on just $65k/yr
Conversely, is there a shortfall on your current course?

One you know your current path, you can start building models of what happens if you deviate from it. Ask questions like:

- Can I afford to take XXX amount of time off of work?
- What happens if my spouse changes / gets a job that pays XX, etc?
- Can we keep our goals if I only make XXX a year?
- What is my likely income if I do YYYY ?
- What if dump lazy-ass? (just kidding... I hope)

Create lots of scenarios from all the variables, and see if they look like there's a good chance of getting from where you are to where you want to go.

If you're not seeing a clear path from A to B, then consider more drastic options:

- What if we sell the house, or move to place YYY?
- Can we get rid of XXX (something big) and adjust our lifestyles?

And so on. Basically, quantify everything you can, and build a model of the system you are in. First step it to see how much "flex" is in the system as is. That'll tell you what you need economically, and all the possible new careers can be compared to those requirements so you can predict a likely long-term outcome. Unless you see a clear and preferable path, the next step is to consider more drastic changes and re-do the calculations and scenarios to see what life will be like. In the end, you want to have a reasonable idea of what impact different career changes will have on you and your family over the long term. Modeling the possible scenarios won't guarantee anything, but it'll help you determine what the likely impact of each path will be on your big picture. Use that to help you make the decisions by reconciling the things you would rather do with the economic consequences of doing them.


Good luck!


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

I am thinking I really just need some time off. I mean serious time off.


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

I think I am going to stick with it for awhile longer


----------



## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

Tigger,
It sounds to me like a good part of it is classic "burnout", which leads to side helpings of anxiety, depression, and just plain rapid ups and downs.

If I could write a prescription, it would be for 90 days sabbatical from work, with a good chunk of time just staying/living somewhere else (Doesn't have to be a 'vacation') with lots of time that is unspecified and just yours.

I know that's probably not practical, but you do have my sympathies. Burnout happens to a lot people at some point in their lives, and it's not healthy.


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Anubis said:


> Tigger,
> It sounds to me like a good part of it is classic "burnout", which leads to side helpings of anxiety, depression, and just plain rapid ups and downs.
> 
> If I could write a prescription, it would be for 90 days sabbatical from work, with a good chunk of time just staying/living somewhere else (Doesn't have to be a 'vacation') with lots of time that is unspecified and just yours.
> ...


I'm planning on going somewhere else later this year for around 3 months. most likely a round the world trip.

I felt better today after giving a keynote and then seeing that a client paid their invoice for a couple month's of work.


----------



## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

Tigger said:


> I'm planning on going somewhere else later this year for around 3 months. most likely a round the world trip.
> 
> I felt better today after giving a keynote and then seeing that a client paid their invoice for a couple month's of work.


Fat paychecks can sometimes temporarily alleviate burnout.

You say it like you're surprised. Do you have clients that you have to chase down for money?


----------



## Tigger (Dec 5, 2007)

Davelli0331 said:


> Fat paychecks can sometimes temporarily alleviate burnout.
> 
> You say it like you're surprised. Do you have clients that you have to chase down for money?


It sure does.

Not usually. Most are pretty good about paying. I guess it always amazes me how much it is.


----------

