# Vasectomy Advice?



## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

My husband and I are very adamant about not wanting children. We decided that he would get a vasectomy, after I was told that the recovery time is much shorter for a vasectomy, rather than a tubal ligation.
Also, no doctor will tie off a 28 year old woman with no kids. 

Any advice from the men on TAM? How did you find your vasectomy? Was the sex better, because of no birth control worries? I'm well aware that it takes 4-6 months after the procedure, for the sperm count to reach zero.
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## amped (Mar 8, 2011)

I would have to agree that a vasectomy is much easier and safer than tubal ligation. 
Now having one at 28 without children is another issue. I'm 33 and have recently had the thought that if my wife and i dont make it, or if something were to ever happen to her....I might like to have kids again. But having kids or not is a matter between you and your husband. But make sure its his choice and not yours.
As for the relations after vasectomy. It is good, nice to have the ability to be ready at any moment, and not need contraceptives. Obviously it feels better. I have however noticed some delayed finishing in the 2 years since my vasectomy. But its not a race anyways is it?
The procedure was very painful. Like getting kicked in the testicles. And the recovery was more painful than i expected. But a weekend resting, and dont over work the following week. It wasnt too bad.
Over all i'd have it done again if i was given the chance. But just be aware of the decision your making. And have him be aware that pain is temporary.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Amped, we have made this decision together. 
Of course, I am well aware of the permanency of this option. That's why I like it! Believe it or not, some couples really DO NOT WANT CHILDREN.
Thanks for the advice about the pain. I wasn't looking for a thinly veiled "you might change your mind" speech.
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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

Not having to worry about birth control makes it absolutely worthwhile.

I am very high drive sexually, and it was nothing but an improvement to take that worry out of the equation. 

I did not regard the procedure as very painful however. A small "pinch" on either side of the testicles when the doctor gave the anesthesia, after that no pain.

My recovery, yes a little sore for a few days. Back in "business" after a week.

Doc did a sperm count test a month later to verify the procedure. 

Hope this helps.


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## SoCalKat (Mar 2, 2011)

A vasectomy is by far the easiest way to do it and very rewarding. Maybe you could help him shave the "area" before the procedure


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Many, many people have no trouble with vas. My husband had a super easy time. I do know someone, however, who had a BAD time after his vasectomy. He had a lot of pain, and painful sex for about 8 months. The docs tend to downplay the risks even going so far as to dismiss the pain as psychosomatic. Ask the doc about the risks and PRESS until you get real info, IMO.


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## amped (Mar 8, 2011)

I didn't mean to offend. I was just stating the reservations that I had.
As for my real pain. One side was easy and painless. The other side was like a kick in the nuts. 
Mine was also certified successful inside of one month.
I'd say he should go for it. The lack of stress about an accident is well worth it.
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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

amped said:


> I didn't mean to offend. I was just stating the reservations that I had.
> As for my real pain. One side was easy and painless. The other side was like a kick in the nuts.
> Mine was also certified successful inside of one month.
> I'd say he should go for it. The lack of stress about an accident is well worth it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Amped, I never asked for decision making advice for the vasectomy. I am not offended, just perplexed as to why you are misreading the question. He will be having the procedure; we have already made the choice.
So he always wanted to "go for it." I was just asking about advice to make it more comfortable for him.
Thanks for your pain observation.
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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

I'm excited about not having to buy or swallow birth control pills anymore! Yaay! I have always been very meticulous about my birth control; even setting an alarm to remind me to take it.
When people ask about when we will have children, my response is "In about 100 years." LOL Keeps the nosy fools away, as does a shrug and a disgusted look.
I don't even like baby showers; what do I have in common with mothers? Very little, since most of the ones I've met only talk about their kids.

The advice about vasectomies was supportive and smart. I know that the months long sperm drain will make me antsy.
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## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

Mrs.G said:


> ,I was just asking about advice to make it more comfortable for him.
> Thanks for your pain observation.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Bags of frozen peas!!! And when doc says DO NOT do anything first 2 days...literally DO NOT DO ANYTHING. When my H had his, we went out to eat after. Middle of dinner (I think numbness was wearing off) he said 'we gotta go'! Used frozen peas that night that seemed to really help.

Next day he thought he felt pretty good so mowed the lawn on a riding mower. BIG mistake! So, please make sure he seriously does nothing as instructed.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

Mrs.G said:


> I'm excited about not having to buy or swallow birth control pills anymore! Yaay! I have always been very meticulous about my birth control; even setting an alarm to remind me to take it.


My husband had a vasectomy several months back. I didn't want to mess with birth control because of the hormones. Guess what? I've been prescribed birth control to help with endometriosis. :rofl:

Anyway, my husband's vasectomy went well. We just kept his beans on ice all weekend after a Friday surgery. I bought ice packs made with flaxseed. They don't get so cold that it hurts, but they stay cold enough for a long while. He still walked a little funny on Monday, but by Tuesday things were grand.

It has been great not worrying about pregnancy. I was to the point where I was literally afraid of sex. I'm so thankful that period of my life is over!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Had mine done over 10+ years ago. We were done having kids and my wife had been on the pill since she was 17. Other than the anesthesia shot it was pretty painless. Had it done on a Friday morning, spend Saturday watching football with an ice bag and mowed the lawn on Sunday. No problems then or ever since. Best $50 copay I ever spent.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Mrs.G said:


> Amped, I never asked for decision making advice for the vasectomy. I am not offended, just perplexed as to why you are misreading the question. He will be having the procedure; we have already made the choice.
> So he always wanted to "go for it." I was just asking about advice to make it more comfortable for him.


My husband found frozen peas in his britches to be helpful. Peas are round and not pointy like cubes.

I'm sorry. I misread as well.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

WhereAmI said:


> My husband had a vasectomy several months back. I didn't want to mess with birth control because of the hormones. Guess what? I've been prescribed birth control to help with endometriosis. :rofl:


Get an ablation! OMG what is it with gyns and their hormones!


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

emotionalwreck said:


> Bags of frozen peas!!! And when doc says DO NOT do anything first 2 days...literally DO NOT DO ANYTHING. When my H had his, we went out to eat after. Middle of dinner (I think numbness was wearing off) he said 'we gotta go'! Used frozen peas that night that seemed to really help.
> 
> Next day he thought he felt pretty good so mowed the lawn on a riding mower. BIG mistake! So, please make sure he seriously does nothing as instructed.


LOL LOL LOL Thanks emotionalwreck. I am a nurturing wife, so I will baby my baby when he's recovering. I may even ask him to take Monday off. I suppose they may give him painkillers.
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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Unless things have changed in the last ten years, not all doctors and clinics perform the vasectomy the same. At the time I had mine, there were stories about how the puncture procedure of a local clinic yielded about a 1% auto reversal over time. I went to a Urologist. Even he said that his procedure was different than most, but said it is 100% effective and 100% irreversable.

I had it done because my wife's doctor refused to do it as part of her c-section. It was a catholic hospital. 

When they say not to work for a couple of days, they are serious. That's why most guys have them done on Fridays. My friend worked the next day and looked like he was carrying ... nevermind!


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Halien said:


> Unless things have changed in the last ten years, not all doctors and clinics perform the vasectomy the same. At the time I had mine, there were stories about how the puncture procedure of a local clinic yielded about a 1% auto reversal over time. I went to a Urologist. Even he said that his procedure was different than most, but said it is 100% effective and 100% irreversable.
> 
> I had it done because my wife's doctor refused to do it as part of her c-section. It was a catholic hospital.
> 
> When they say not to work for a couple of days, they are serious. That's why most guys have them done on Fridays. My friend worked the next day and looked like he was carrying ... nevermind!


Don't even get me started on Catholic birth control nonsense. I was raised with that religion, but I left the church when I realized that many of the leaders were pedophiles. 
I've had doctors tell me I'm sick, because I don't want kids. It's ridiculous. 
Hubby will be getting the no scalpel vasectomy. I'm going to ask him to take a sick day on that Monday. We'll crack open a bottle of Moet and toast years to come of freedom, privacy and no screaming babies.
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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Hubby had his at 26. He came home one day and said "Hey, I want to get a vasectomy." I was shocked. Not because I wanted more children (we have 2) but because he has a neurological disorder called vasovagal syncope which means an EXTREME fear of needles/blood/surgery, etc due to triggers from childhood. He volunteered to have this done! He scheduled the whole thing and the day it happened I was holding his hand and nibbling on his ear to calm him down. He winced twice with the two numbing injections and after that part was done he was calm. I held his hand and was there the entire time. It took 10 minutes. After it was over, the doctor told him to go home and rest as there would be some swelling and bruising and pain after local wore off. I drove him home and as we were on the freeway he said "I don't want to lay in bed and think about this, let's go to Best Buy and get a new laptop". We did. He spent that Friday afternoon tinkering with his new toy and felt great! Saturday morning he had some pain but nothing Advil couldn't handle and by Sunday, we were walking around Costco buying groceries. 
The result? Well, I was on the pill and got pregnant with our first at 21. Hard swimmers I guess. The second was planned and it took (literally) one time for our second son. Him having this done took a load (no pun intended) off of our shoulders. No drop in sex drive for him whatsoever. I think it actually increased knowing I wasn't going to have 13 kids due to our apparent stellar fertility.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Can I piggyback to ask for advice?
> 
> My husband agreed to a V. I am 47 and have three kids but am not a good candidate for tubal. (No gyn issues, doc doesn't want to create any, I have had anaphylaxis that affected my lungs and have severe allergies that could be triggered by anything, including hormones and anesthesia or antibiotics, etc.) At 47, the doctor also said that the risk tradeoff even normally is not worth it for the remaining years prior to menopause (I show no signs of being anywhere near menopause.)
> 
> ...


Sperm count prior to V? Yes! Fertility clinics do this all the time. You can find out within 24 hours if he is infertile. As for anaphylaxis, that is VERY VERY serious. Do not do any kind of surgery unless you absolutely have to! 
As for tradeoff? Sex whenever and wherever. The odds of pregnancy are near zero, freedom and thus increased sexual desire!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Pandakiss said:


> i hate that drs play god with you and your body...if you say you dont want kids..then thats it, no kids.
> 
> i had my tubes tied at 24...only because i had triplets, and i had as close to medicaly possible 100% chance i would have 3 again, and even 4 or 5...
> 
> ...


Ha ha! Yup, hubby's doc asked him over and over again "are you sure?". Damn right we were. 20 when pregnant and 21 when he was born. We were both in college! The reason they ask is because sometimes when a woman hits 35, the baby craving kicks in. You know what helps that? Babysit a friend's child who vomits on your shoulder. Projectile vomiting that looks like Linda Blair. Biggest form of birth control out there.
Having said that, I love my sons. I really do. I would give my life for theirs, no question about it. I like a few of their friends and I love our neighbors twin girls and our neighbors behind us 2 boys. Beyond that? Not so much. Screaming brats who are spoiled and entitled.
Having children young= sucks. Limited resources and stress beyond belief. The cool part? Being 39 with an 18 year old and every single person at the PTA meeting (for my son's age) is in their late 50's planning college and their retirement all at the same time. Us? We are planning trip to Vegas and our son will take care of his brother while we are gone.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Pandakiss said:


> on my side..walking into the elementry school to drop off, pick up, or teacher meeting, and getting starred at with daggers...
> 
> well you have seen a few of my shoes...you know i have the dresses and skirts and stockings to back them up...and im lazy, its easier in the spring and summer to put on [1] dress, and [1] pair of shoes, and leave the house..
> 
> ...


Oh yeah, I am HATED at my son's high school campus by all the other mothers. I made a run for PTA President but apparently I wasn't "good" enough. Funny how when I come up with amazing ideas for fundraising, I am met with lovely praise from the men and disgust from the women. The women all manage to look at their shoes or dig around for a cell phone when I am pitching some ideas. Here's an idea....how about taking a piece of concrete and shoving it up your ass....you would be less constipated.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Pandakiss said:


> ohhh you ran for PTA..brave, i didnt dare. after elementry school, i dont go to school functions and i stay away...
> 
> and plus i hate being "such-and-such mom", i dont have a name anymore...lol


My name is [email protected] Mom, despite being married to his father for 17 years and son getting a scholarship to a "Baby Ivy". Yup, I'm a skank.  Karma bus? Well every single one of those "other men" are cheating on them. They talk, I hear. I wouldn't trade places with those high horses for a minute.


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## SoCalKat (Mar 2, 2011)

No scalpel vasectomy is what I had and it's the way to go. The recovery time is very quick.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

I don't like those who hijack threads. Homemaker, start your own if you want advice please!

I worked as a nanny before. I had a screaming and demanding baby who even made ME cry. Her young parents wouldn't even make her sleep in her bed and they carried her around a lot. This demon child was rejected from daycare, because she was too needy.
I wanted to toss the friggin baby out of the window. None of that for me thanks! LOL

I am traumatized by this very graphic birth video, which I saw at 15. I was throughly disgusted and disturbed by the vulnerability of the poor woman. I would not want to be splayed open like that, in front of all those people. Also, my vagina is unusually small; if paps hurt, I could never push out a baby!
I believe that if I hadn't had an abusive mother and saw that video, I would want to have kids. I purposely married a childfree man.

When I was on Loveshack (a horribly racist and evil forum) I was insulted and ridiculed for not wanting babies. TAM is a much warmer and supportive environment. Bless all of you for your support.
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## SaffronPower (Mar 6, 2011)

My hubby got Vas done 15 or so years ago. Same thing, really easy, local anesthetic, had it done on Friday, rested Saturday was ready to go on Sunday.

Frozen peas are the best choice

It does make sex so easy. No needing any "gadgets" or pills. Spontaneous sex in the car..no problem. At the lake with a blanket...no problem.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> "I don't like those who hijack threads. Homemaker, start your own if you want advice please!"
> 
> My apologies!
> 
> I'm guessing 'PTA' and 'shoes' are codewords for some kind of male anatomy. I'll consult the urban dictionary and try to figure it all out. :rofl:


Originally Posted by Homemaker_Numero_Uno 
Can I piggyback to ask for advice?

My husband agreed to a V. I am 47 and have three kids but am not a good candidate for tubal. (No gyn issues, doc doesn't want to create any, I have had anaphylaxis that affected my lungs and have severe allergies that could be triggered by anything, including hormones and anesthesia or antibiotics, etc.) At 47, the doctor also said that the risk tradeoff even normally is not worth it for the remaining years prior to menopause (I show no signs of being anywhere near menopause.) 

But my question is, at age 47, suppose I hit menopause at age 57 (that would be old for menopause, right)? 

For a guy, how many years of birth control make it worth it for a vasecomy? 10, but what about 5, is there some way to know when I will get to menopause? What if he gets the V and has a bad side effect, and then I hit menopause just in one year?

I was hoping to get menopause while he was deployed, it has not happened. I am like a Japanese train, always on schedule. 

I have heard of people having babies at age 60. :-o

I don't want to hurt my husband's package, it works great. I have no complaints in that department other than he has been using withdrawal, which does leave me feeling unfinished, a lot. 

I am almost thinking given how fertile I was in the past (3 pregnancies just for trying once or twice each time) that it might be possible my husband (who is not the father of our kids) is infertile, having had mumps as a child. Is there a way to get a sperm count PRIOR to the V? Maybe he doesn't even need it. 

How inconvenient are condoms for regular birth control?
Effectiveness wise, they have got to be better than withdrawal.

I used to have a diaphragm, but that did not work out on account of the gel. And the material it is made out of creates some kind of reaction in a place I'd rather not mention.

Looking for guy input, what is the time tradeoff for V vs condoms? 

i.e. 10 years protection needed til menopause, get a V
1 year protection needed til menopause, used condoms
how many years protection would be needed to change decision from V to condoms?

Any other ideas?

~~~~~~~~~

This was what I was referring to.


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## stuckinpast (Jun 26, 2010)

I Just wanted to let you know that there are some complications that could occur.My husband had his at 35. Everything was fine but then a few weeks later he had unbearable pain he ended up getting epididymitis (cyst). The had to go back in and remove more tube. We thought that it was fixed and he'd be pain free. That wasn't the case he was in worse pain had to get shots in the scrotum. Nothing releived the pain. He's now recovering from getting a testicle removed because it had swollen so much. I'm not trying to scare anyone the doctor told him this happens 1 out of every 200. But I wanted to let you know that there are some risks. Our sex life has never changed he feels the same his drive never went down or anything like that so...
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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

stuckinpast said:


> I Just wanted to let you know that there are some complications that could occur.My husband had his at 35. Everything was fine but then a few weeks later he had unbearable pain he ended up getting epididymitis (cyst). The had to go back in and remove more tube. We thought that it was fixed and he'd be pain free. That wasn't the case he was in worse pain had to get shots in the scrotum. Nothing releived the pain. He's now recovering from getting a testicle removed because it had swollen so much. I'm not trying to scare anyone the doctor told him this happens 1 out of every 200. But I wanted to let you know that there are some risks. Our sex life has never changed he feels the same his drive never went down or anything like that so...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I was made aware of the risks. I'm not entirely certain if you are trying to discourage my husband's vasectomy. Any number of things can occur; why bother with worrying about it? Our marriage is more solid than the diamonds I wear; we have handled racist in laws, unemployment and a too small wedding. I know we'll be fine.
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