# Finding foreplay?



## Shinobi (Jan 24, 2012)

Am just wondering how others get with foreplay, is it all just natural and happens or is there a certain element of direction towards your partner. I'm really struggling with getting anything and it is just so frustrating. I am a very physical perso and I love every inch of my wife to the point I can't keep my hands off, but she wants none of it. Its a case of she will show infrequent signs of wanting sex but does not initiate, but when I catch on its a case of go go go now, so much as linger beyond half a minute and the opportunity for sex has gone. Unfortunately this does not work for me and results in an unfulfilled sex life for both resulting in fewer opportunities. 

This has not always been the case and our marriage has had a rough couple of years that almost ended several times but we are getting back on track, I just wishing for more sex but with it the pleasure of physical touch prolonging things, what I would give to exercise my tongue on her or explore every inch until we both about to pop before entry.

Any tips on getting more before and building the lust up?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I subscribe to the theory that every person needs touch.

the problem is some people are resistant to touch for many different reasons.

You at least have to try to get through that by finding out what kind of touch she likes. I'm sure you probably already have and she is resistant.

my only advice would be keep trying carefully when opportunity presents. find out what kind of touch she likes, turns her on.
try many different things. when you find that 'thing', you've found a goldmine and struck it rich.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Yes, tell her what it is you desire. Tell her what you PLAN to do and then tell her if she wants you can tie her to the bed so she can't rush you! Does she like a massage? Try a massage with coconut oil. Pay special attention to her bottom after you've worked the kinks out of her back. Get her to spread her legs little by little as you work the stress out of her bottom. Then dip in, further and further each time getting her to spread further. I LOVE IT when my husband does this!

If your relationship is in a decent place you should be open about wanting to touch all of her and not always allowing her to set the pace during sex.

I'll be honest here, there are times I set the pace and jump on my husband if it feels like things just aren't working for me. I rush to the parts I know I will enjoy. He seems to like it when I do that but I don't do it that frequently. We have sex 3-5 times a week and I might take over 2-3 times a month.


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## Qur (May 17, 2014)

Shinobi said:


> I am a very physical person and I love every inch of my wife to the point I can't keep my hands off, but she wants none of it. [/i][/size]


Your constant hands on may actually be a turn off to her. She may preceive it as only a selfish pursue (just to get sex for example). My gf loves my touch, *especially* when it's for our pleasure, not just my own. Anon's massage suggestion is very good. Do expect only a thank you and a smile afterwards (unconditional act of love). You two have been through some turbulent times that most likely have taken their toll. Has she enjoyed your touch in the past?


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## Shinobi (Jan 24, 2012)

Qur said:


> Your constant hands on may actually be a turn off to her. She may preceive it as only a selfish pursue (just to get sex for example). My gf loves my touch, *especially* when it's for our pleasure, not just my own. Anon's massage suggestion is very good. Do expect only a thank you and a smile afterwards (unconditional act of love). You two have been through some turbulent times that most likely have taken their toll. Has she enjoyed your touch in the past?


Ah yes, we used to spend hours on each other,and yes the tough times have knocked that so looking to get it back and where to start. When i say can't keep my hands off that's more about the way i feel without actually being so physically full on, and when i do it is always in affection, but certainly i have crowded her in the past which i know pushed her away. I like the message idea and certainly have done that before so a good place to start.Thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Sorry to hear this, I'm going through pretty much the same thing. I have to initiate every time and she plain just doesn't want sex. It really sucks having an LD wife, it's way it's always been. I'm thinking that only way to fix it is to at some point divorce and try someone, but I'm always thinking that with my luck I would end up with another LD woman.


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## Qur (May 17, 2014)

Shinobi said:


> This has not always been the case and our marriage has had a *rough couple of years that almost ended several times* but we are getting back on track[/i][/size]


Has the marriage been threatened by the same issues over and over? Is this "getting back on track" phase different then the past ones? My gf and I swept an issue under the rug about 3 yrs ago that resurfaced recently and shook our seemingly wonderful relationship. I bought a ring 3 weeks ago and I intend on proposing soon. I asked her yesterday to write down any issues that we have not properly addressed that she thinks might cause us problems moving forward. I will do the same and we will discuss them in full.

Shinobi, your marriage almost ending several times, needless to say, is very concerning.


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