# Whole Package.



## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

This is mostly generated for men- but women you can chime in as well to describe this for a man.

What is your definition of the whole package of a woman? 
Is your SO or partner your whole package?

Or is it different meanings to some!?
I think for me- I’ve never found all the things in just one person. I’m finding out what I like and don’t- what I need and don’t.
But is not so much finding the whole package, but to find one that balances everything out?


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Interesting, I think it is probably impossible for one person to be anyones whole package all the time. I would think someone definition of what it is changes over time. 

For me currently I can't think of any box I would want to check that my wife doesn't check. For me in a partner I would look for someone who's strengths are spots where I'm weak. For example, I'm a little disorganized with a lot of daily things where my wife is the to do list queen, she is very organized. 

My main things are (In no particular order)
Attractive and Fit. This doesn't mean I want a size 2 lady but I enjoy and active lifestyle, skiing, surfing, hiking, biking etc. So by fit I mean being able to be very active.
Must have a passion for travel. 
Must be well educated and ambitious.
Adventurous, I like to try a lot of new things and live outside any kind of comfort zone.
Spontaneous.
Healthy sex drive.
Honest
Sense of humor


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I think of it in terms of “must haves” instead of looking for the “whole package”. No one is going to have the whole package. In my age range, many are bringing some sort of baggage or baby daddy drama as well. That’s the absolute worst and I run fast away from any of that.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

To me the whole package is someone who simply has it together and is also a good person with a great personality. Higher education is not necessary when level headedness, common sense and deep thinking are present. High earning is not required when good financial sense prevails in decision making. Being super hot isn’t all that much of a turn on if he sucks in bed, makes dumb life choices or doesn’t know how to change a lightbulb etc.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Not said:


> To me the whole package is someone who simply has it together and is also a good person with a great personality. Higher education is not necessary when level headedness, common sense and deep thinking are present. High earning is not required when good financial sense prevails in decision making. Being super hot isn’t all that much of a turn on if he sucks in bed, makes dumb life choices or doesn’t know how to change a lightbulb etc.



So what would you say if a woman says I’m the whole package baby! 

Would you ask them what do you mean?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I wrote a while page list of what I wanted in a husband about 2 or 3 years before we met and he is all of them on the list. It wasnt what I would call shallow things like height, amount of money, earnings, assets like a house etc etc but things like needing to share my faith, to be honest, patient, accept my children as his, have a good sense of humour, good character, integrity, etc etc. In many ways we are very different but in many more way we are similar. We compliment each other.
I dont think any one person is supposed to be absolutely everything to us, thats why we have family and friends and in our case God, but if we are going to be together and live together for many many years and get on well, then we do need to find someone who matches us in all the important ways.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Sue4473 said:


> This is mostly generated for men- but women you can chime in as well to describe this for a man.
> 
> What is your definition of the whole package of a woman?
> Is your SO or partner your whole package?
> ...


I honestly think this is an impossible question. What I thought was the whole package had changed at different times in my life. At this point in general it's someone with strong character, fearless in her love and accepting love, loves me, gives a ****, and is willing to work for us, be her reasonable best for me, that I am attracted to.

Whole package kind of represents magic "Disney" type thinking in my mind. As I have gotten older I have learned relationships are so much more about you giving then what you are getting. It's an honor to love people. To get to love people and have them acknowledge that is really what that is all about.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

My wife is the whole package to me. We are what each other is not. We are strong in each other's weaknesses. Im 6'05" and she is 5'03". She is fiesty and im laid back. She is quick tempered and impatient, i am patient and long suffering. She is on top of things and i stop to look at the beauty and smell the flowers. She has called me Ferdinand the Bull. We complete and compliment each other. We draw each other toward the center. She has changed me in ways to be more like her and vice versa. 

To me she was a alot better looking than i see myself...she does not think that. She thinks i am sexy and good looking..i dont see that. We have been together 24 yrs and sex life is awesome. Had a Dr last week ask if we were highschool sweethearts. We hold hands everywhere we go...even riding in a car. We are the couple that embarases our kids with PDAs. At the same time our sons say they want to find a girl and have a marriage like ours.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I think I would suck at creating a list. It also could be quite limiting.

To answer your question though, yes Batman is the 'whole package'... to me. And if I try to put some words around what that means, it's along the lines of digging the varied aspects of who he is in his own right and also that we're compatible and our general dynamic suits us. If I consider him as the 'whole package' kinda deal, I think of who he is as a 'whole person' which includes limitations and 'faults' for lack of better word, which we all have. I'm not sure how to express this any better. It's something about accepting all what he brings to the table. Including when we have our 'moments'. The package-deal... it's something that develops, I think, whether in terms of perception, or the dynamic in how you relate to one another. That's how I'd consider it rather than a check list. Really getting to know a person in terms of a relationship, is experiencing not just the upbeat stuff or they can cook or seem like they're kind, but really experiencing the person in action, how conflict is handled, how hard and challenging times are dealt with. All of that. And how they're handled together (which is about the dynamic shared).


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

Divinely Favored said:


> My wife is the whole package to me. We are what each other is not. We are strong in each other's weaknesses. Im 6'05" and she is 5'03". She is fiesty and im laid back. She is quick tempered and impatient, i am patient and long suffering. She is on top of things and i stop to look at the beauty and smell the flowers. She has called me Ferdinand the Bull. We complete and compliment each other. We draw each other toward the center. She has changed me in ways to be more like her and vice versa.
> 
> To me she was a alot better looking than i see myself...she does not think that. She thinks i am sexy and good looking..i dont see that. We have been together 24 yrs and sex life is awesome. Had a Dr last week ask if we were highschool sweethearts. We hold hands everywhere we go...even riding in a car. We are the couple that embarases our kids with PDAs. At the same time our sons say they want to find a girl and have a marriage like ours.


I love this!


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Sue4473 said:


> So what would you say if a woman says I’m the whole package baby!
> 
> Would you ask them what do you mean?


I can answer from a female perspective.  

If a man would say that to me I’d think he was full of himself, if he meant it seriously. The whole package is something that would be determined by me, not him.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

My husband is 'the whole package' to me - as a husband. He's everything I want in a husband. No one person can ever meet every single need of someone else though, that's just not realistic. Different people meet different needs I have - friends, family etc.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Whole package:

Attractive enough.
Mentally/emotionally strong.
Can cook
Unquestionably loyal
Treats me right
No mental illnesses
Not promiscuous.
Pleasant to be around.

That's pretty much it off the top of my head. And my GF goes above and beyond all that.


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## scarletandgrey (Feb 15, 2021)

Sue4473 said:


> This is mostly generated for men- but women you can chime in as well to describe this for a man.
> 
> What is your definition of the whole package of a woman?
> Is your SO or partner your whole package?
> ...


Instead of fantasizing about a dream man, why don’t you go out there and meet a lot of people?

Just asking out of curiosity


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

scarletandgrey said:


> Instead of fantasizing about a dream man, why don’t you go out there and meet a lot of people?
> 
> Just asking out of curiosity



It was just a question. I’m stuck at home and it was a interesting idea I had and like everyone’s answers.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Whole package:
> 
> Attractive enough.
> Mentally/emotionally strong.
> ...


I like the list. I would add to that that she has to make me feel like a priority, make time for us. I wouldn’t want to date a helicopter mom. Also, she has to be independent and earn her own money. I’m not dating anyone that lives off of child support.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

RebuildingMe said:


> I like the list. I would add to that that she has to make me feel like a priority, make time for us. I wouldn’t want to date a helicopter mom. Also, she has to be independent and earn her own money. I’m not dating anyone that lives off of child support.


As long as I feel she contributes to our cause when we are together, I don't care if she does that through financial contribution or domestic. I have a lot of respect for stay at home moms if they are actually doing what they should be doing and raising the kids right while they take care of the home.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> As long as I feel she contributes to our cause when we are together, I don't care if she does that through financial contribution or domestic. I have a lot of respect for stay at home moms if they are actually doing what they should be doing and raising the kids right while they take care of the home.


I should clarify that dating is fine, I wouldn’t get into a LTR with someone that doesn’t have a career. It’s not just about the money, but I’d need conversation that doesn’t always have kids in it. Also, I’m going to be 50 in a few months. The women that I’ve dated have older kids, teenagers and above. There is no reason to be a stay home parent when your kids are old enough to look after themselves. That speaks to an element of laziness (to me). Not trying to offend anyone, just my personal red flags, if you will.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I don't really care about a woman's career. If I can earn enough for us to be happy, then all is well. Especially if I can come home and the lady friend is holding down the fort, makes dinner, and raises our kids right, she doesn't have to have a job. Now, if she is just sitting the kids in front of the TV while she plays on Facebook all day, then we got a problem.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

IMO, any woman who calls herself "the whole package" almost certainly isn't. To me, that's right up there with the "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" women.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Sue4473 said:


> So what would you say if a woman says I’m the whole package baby!


I'd tell her to drop and give me 50 military style pushups and then ask me again... 😂

All kidding aside. it won't be the same for most men...

Fit/trim, takes care of herself, no drugs/alcohol, no drama queen or chatterbox,. and most importantly a woman that works with you, not against you...and be strong and not too emotional..

That being said, Ive known guys that would say a woman having nothing more than the ability to fog a mirror would qualify them as the whole package...


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

hamadryad said:


> I'd tell her to drop and give me 50 military style pushups and then ask me again... 😂
> 
> All kidding aside. it won't be the same for most men...
> 
> ...


Ok so let’s say this- a woman has all these great qualities. Fit , trim, works with, etc 
But is a chatterbox and somewhat emotional?
Is that a deal breaker?
Lol I just described myself! So am I a Half- Package lol I’m making fun but it’s funny!


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## OnwardNUpward (Feb 17, 2021)

Sue4473 said:


> This is mostly generated for men- but women you can chime in as well to describe this for a man.
> 
> What is your definition of the whole package of a woman?
> Is your SO or partner your whole package?
> ...


Everyone will have things that they find to be nice to have in that someone special, but I think it would be foolish to have some notion of what makes the whole package or the perfect person. The things that make the most difference to a relationship from my experience are found in having a deep friendship where both people are invested in learning about the other, such as dreams, beliefs, and favorite things. Both individuals need to be responsive to the other in the moment when a bid for attention is made. Both should live out a culture of appreciation for the other and take time to acknowledge what they appreciate about the other. In other words, once you get past being attracted and having some significant things in common, the real foundation is built upon a caring friendship. It is the well of that deep relationship where love can be found to get past the conflict that is bound to arise. Without that loving foundation, the conflicts and difficult negotiations of relationships can't be successfully navigated. I don't think any of us realistically expects to find the so-called whole package person. We all want to be loved and hopefully to give love in return through all of the twists and turns that life brings our way.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

OnwardNUpward said:


> Everyone will have things that they find to be nice to have in that someone special, but I think it would be foolish to have some notion of what makes the whole package or the perfect person. The things that make the most difference to a relationship from my experience are found in having a deep friendship where both people are invested in learning about the other, such as dreams, beliefs, and favorite things. Both individuals need to be responsive to the other in the moment when a bid for attention is made. Both should live out a culture of appreciation for the other and take time to acknowledge what they appreciate about the other. In other words, once you get past being attracted and having some significant things in common, the real foundation is built upon a caring friendship. It is the well of that deep relationship where love can be found to get past the conflict that is bound to arise. Without that loving foundation, the conflicts and difficult negotiations of relationships can't be successfully navigated. I don't think any of us realistically expects to find the so-called whole package person. We all want to be loved and hopefully to give love in return through all of the twists and turns that life brings our way.


Wow. Beautiful.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Sue4473 said:


> I love this!


We both wish we had a business together so we did not have to be apart. I will retire in a couple of years and try to go to work with her so we can be together. We are each others best friends. We yearn for each other when apart. We have had friends comment that they wish their marriages were like ours. We know very few couples that have a marriage like ours. 

Had a waitress recently thought we were newly weds...told her yep! 24 yrs! The Honeymoon never has to stop! 
We both suffered being cheated on prior to meeting and both say we would endure the pain again if we had to to get to each other again. God put us together...no doubt. There were things that happened of a Divine nature that was clear indicator of God's hand in our meeting/marriage. Besides we were both sick of the opposite sex and prayed that we were no longer goung to look. If God wants us with someone he will make it happen. 

Happen it did! Let go and let God! It will be beyond your wildest dreams. We both tell each other almost daily that we are greatful to God for each other.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

The "whole package" can't be just a list where boxes are ticked off. There are varying degrees for everything. Does 5/10 tick a box, or is the line 6/10? If one gets 10/10 for 5 criteria is that less desirable than another getting 610 for 6 criteria? 

Now I need to grade my wife!


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Sue4473 said:


> Ok so let’s say this- a woman has all these great qualities. Fit , trim, works with, etc
> But is a chatterbox and somewhat emotional?
> *Is that a deal breaker?*
> Lol I just described myself! So am I a Half- Package lol I’m making fun but it’s funny!


Hmm...How big are your breasts? 😂

(a good sense of humor and not take themselves so serious all the time is also on the list)


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Enigma32 said:


> As long as I feel she contributes to our cause when we are together, I don't care if she does that through financial contribution or domestic. I have a lot of respect for stay at home moms if they are actually doing what they should be doing and raising the kids right while they take care of the home.


My first husband used to say to me that I had the far harder job of running the home and caring for 3 children than his paid job away from the house. Each is valuable but only one is paid.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> We both wish we had a business together so we did not have to be apart. I will retire in a couple of years and try to go to work with her so we can be together. We are each others best friends. We yearn for each other when apart. We have had friends comment that they wish their marriages were like ours. We know very few couples that have a marriage like ours.
> 
> Had a waitress recently thought we were newly weds...told her yep! 24 yrs! The Honeymoon never has to stop!
> We both suffered being cheated on prior to meeting and both say we would endure the pain again if we had to to get to each other again. God put us together...no doubt. There were things that happened of a Divine nature that was clear indicator of God's hand in our meeting/marriage. Besides we were both sick of the opposite sex and prayed that we were no longer goung to look. If God wants us with someone he will make it happen.
> ...


God did the same for us, I had asked God for a man with certain qualities and he is all of them. We had both been deeply hurt in previous long marriages, and He did a lot of healing through each other. He is just awesome isnt He  Mind you,God is perfectly capable if using OLD, thats how we met.


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## Sue4473 (May 29, 2018)

hamadryad said:


> Hmm...How big are your breasts? 😂
> 
> (a good sense of humor and not take themselves so serious all the time is also on the list)



No more than a handful! Lol


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I think it's rare that one person fills all the needs of another person. in general I just think people need more mental stimulation than what they're going to get from only one person over time. Sometimes people even need other people around just to compare them to who they've got to remind them how lucky they are to have them and that they could have done worse. 

Needs are fluid. What you need before you have children is often completely derailed after you have children. What stimulates you when you're young may not be able to take care of you when you're old.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

Nympho who owns a liquor store.....I would be fine with that.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Mybabysgotit said:


> Nympho who owns a liquor store.....I would be fine with that.


😂😂😂


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

The criteria changes based on the perspn because every package is different. I don't look for the "whole package" because that doesn't exist. I go by requirements.


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## C.C. says ... (Aug 1, 2020)

Whole package for a man... 

Dark sense of humor 
Big strong arms to hold me with. 
Is mentally stimulating. 
Knows how to **** 
LOYALTY 
Likes to drink _some. _
Has some freakin common sense.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

C.C. says ... said:


> Whole package for a man...
> 
> Dark sense of humor
> Big strong arms to hold me with.
> ...


This is why I am always telling other men to go to the gym and lift some weights. I might not be the best looking guy in the world, but I get many compliments just based on being big and strong.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> This is why I am always telling other men to go to the gym and lift some weights. I might not be the best looking guy in the world, but I get many compliments just based on being big and strong.


Same here!


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I think it's rare that one person fills all the needs of another person. in general I just think people need more mental stimulation than what they're going to get from only one person over time. Sometimes people even need other people around just to compare them to who they've got to remind them how lucky they are to have them and that they could have done worse.
> 
> Needs are fluid. What you need before you have children is often completely derailed after you have children. What stimulates you when you're young may not be able to take care of you when you're old.


Very true. My mistakes in my marriage included not making new friends after a move took me away from my existing friends. I was expecting another person to be everything which I didn't realize was unfair on both of us. I don't know where I got that idea. It's a very odd one. And agree about our needs changing. Sometimes people really do grow apart.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I can't even think of that in terms of people. Or rather the "whole package" is what you get, not what you want. I mean I love my wife and have been married for over 30 years, but she still gets sea sick in a kayak.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Not said:


> I can answer from a female perspective.
> 
> If a man would say that to me I’d think he was full of himself, if he meant it seriously. The whole package is something that would be determined by me, not him.


If a guy comes up to you and starts saying something about the whole package he's probably talking about something different.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

happyhusband0005 said:


> If a guy comes up to you and starts saying something about the whole package he's probably talking about something different.


Still, something I would determine myself! 😆


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