# Seriously falling out of love...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's been almost a week since all hell broke loose, and I thought these feelings would pass but it hasn't. It began with indifference, and now it's utter disgust. Last week in MC she asked me to look at her when I told MC in front of her that I was feeling indifferent. I couldn't say it at that time, but now it seems that tiny flicker of hope left has escaped me.

I no longer feel that flicker of hope anymore, I look at her, and now I feel nothing except disgust that I even called her my wife. I found it difficult to even stomach eating on the same table with her which I only did for our daughter's sake. WTF is happening to me?!?!!!!

I SHOULDN'T BE THIS HEARTLESS!!! If my wife tells me or MC she feels the same way I can EASILY justify my feelings but she hasn't except for telling me that she's unsure about us and our future now. I want out so bad right now and hell I'm so thankful for MC for helping us establish a routine where we can live semi-seperately under the same roof

At this point I asked myself, if my wife is willing to change, will I accept her? then I realised I actually no longer want her to change, I want her to leave, I've given up and I can't trust her no more, I've even hired a PI to keep tabs on her since she's going cold turkey off the sex since that night - if she cheats, I want evidence to take to court! Yet I don't even care about anything BUT the evidence! I've become so ruthless...

Have I fallen out of love?
If so - how the HELL did I manage it so quickly? And if I did, then WTF is love? I am extremely disturbed by my own indifference at the moment, I hate myself right now and the resentment for my wife is growing day by day. And I've realised no matter what she does I can't stop this downward spiral... I don't want to be a cold a$$ but I CAN'T FEEL SH-T

What's going on? Has anyone gone through this during seperation/divorce? How come the last time we seperated I didn't feel like this - is it due to hidden resentment that I have all built up over the years?


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> YOU yourself said she loved you!! I didn't pull that out of my butt. NOW she is some abusive chick? You left this woman for your now rapist wife who is some sort of alien who will never be accepted in your mind/clan/tribe/posse/mind.
> You talk about how your now wife attacks you with dildos and rapes you and yet you stay. Why? Why don't you call the ****ing police and file a report? According to you, this happens daily, yet you often brag about it and love to piss her off so she will assault you.
> Stop with your theatrics, nobody who has been here longer than a minute believes it. Bye and good luck with your "rape" happy wife. Enjoy the water, your floozy and you are eye to eye.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I stopped reading RD's posts a while ago...seems like I missed quite a bit. What self respecting man would put up with this kind of treatment? I don't get it :scratchhead:


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I can't say that I'm shocked at the developments but I'm hoping you get this resolved whatever way it goes. As I've said before, I'm not really sure your heart was really in it for whatever reason so I don't think your indifference is rapid onset. 

If you truly feel that your love has evaporated to the point of disgust, you should probably call off the MC. It won't help.

I havent been in your spot so all I can offer in the way of advice is to figure out what you want and what's best for you and your daughter and make the call based on that.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

sinnister said:


> I can't say that I'm shocked at the developments but I'm hoping you get this resolved whatever way it goes. As I've said before, I'm not really sure your heart was really in it for whatever reason so I don't think your indifference is rapid onset.
> 
> If you truly feel that your love has evaporated to the point of disgust, you should probably call off the MC. It won't help.
> 
> I havent been in your spot so all I can offer in the way of advice is to figure out what you want and what's best for you and your daughter and make the call based on that.


Thanks mate, I guess that's all I can do.

I don't know anymore, on my sister thread on the ladies lounge I just realised I could have handled it so much better as well, now I'm feeling something alright. Regret

But the MC would at least help us break wouldn't it? Less traumatic for our child as well because I don't think my wife and I can do this on our own without more damage, we need to be away from each other


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## Amyd (Nov 12, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> It's been almost a week since all hell broke loose, and I thought these feelings would pass but it hasn't. It began with indifference, and now it's utter disgust. Last week in MC she asked me to look at her when I told MC in front of her that I was feeling indifferent. I couldn't say it at that time, but now it seems that tiny flicker of hope left has escaped me.
> 
> I no longer feel that flicker of hope anymore, I look at her, and now I feel nothing except disgust that I even called her my wife. I found it difficult to even stomach eating on the same table with her which I only did for our daughter's sake. WTF is happening to me?!?!!!!
> 
> ...


Why do you consider yourself a drama king?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I don't really, but some others do, so I adopted it as my avatar

Helps me filter out those who judge before understanding and those who understand before they judge

As for in RL, I'm guilty of starting fights with my wife during our good times and her title for me in those situations is "rollercoaster", the same term also used by one of my exs - who coined the term and my wife I guess realised it's appropriate at times

Since quitting alcohol I've been trying to fix my marriage but the damage has already been done. There's no way of saving it now and even if there is there's not much motivation anymore either than our daughter to stick together. At least from my side, I have no idea how she feels except for the fact that she said that she's unsure about us now.


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## Amyd (Nov 12, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> I don't really, but some others do, so I adopted it as my avatar
> 
> Helps me filter out those who judge before understanding and those who understand before they judge
> 
> ...


 I also tend to be "dramatic" not because I want to but because I have trouble coping with my emotions. I'm not sure if this is your issue but if it is then it would make sense that your having trouble with your marriage.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I bring up issues during the good times when it's stuck in my head

I can't let it fester and wait for a better time to bring it up - that's my problem especially when I was on the booze, my emotions swang left right and center at times and I started fights for no reason

She's had enough, I've had enough
I've learnt my mistake and it (and a whole SH-TLOAD of other things) has caused me my marriage. Meh, anyways, let this thread die, it's done, it's over.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Things that seem 'quick' usually aren't. This has been building for YEARS so I for one am not surprised by how you feel now.

You've been used and abused for long enough. You're done.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

My advice is unplug for a bit. Stop reading, theorizing, plotting, STOP POSTING HERE, just disconnect from the social world and live life with just you and your wife.

My wife and I did this for 4 days last week no, internet, no phone, no work, just us in plantations in the south it was amazing to reflect on our lives and how this was the norm 50 years ago.

Sometimes our fast paced world hurts us in our marriage. Good luck either way!! Take it down a level you only get one life!!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

We have a rather large wall between me and her at the moment and MC doesn't trust dealing with this issue by ourselves it seems. That's not an option at this point, but that advice did help us though once - looking back, I just decided to live life and hey, it was fine. Then the happy mood fades and it's back to the normal grind and her b-tching about this and that.

Thanks Mavash btw, actually I have something to ask you! ARGH don't go anywhere =O


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## Chris H. (Jan 27, 2007)

There have been some posts on this thread that are rude / disrespectful to the OP [deleted now]. I request that anyone posting in this thread, please be respectful with your comments.


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