# Needle in a hay stack???? Check mate!!! She is a 10!



## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Guess no other place to stand on the rooftop tonight!! I think a few threads of mine back, I posted my list of requirements..... Some said keep dreaming. I guess I did, and it came true! I about fell over tonight to meet a woman that my friends knew, and I did not. I might not even sleep tonight. She is shockingly beautiful, and just hung on me all night long. Put it this way, when she walks in a room, I guarantee any man would check her out. 

And we ran out to her house a few miles away and she did not want me to stay, well, sort of.... Lets say she is a good one and I respect her for it. 

Catholic, hot at chit, legs for days, personality that set us off immediately, and she came right to me. I still don't know what to think but, thank you! This is one that will make it MUCH easier to let go of my ex!!!! No prob....lol


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I hope that this works out for you. 

But I'm concerned because you are putting a lot of faith into someone you don't know.

Proceed with caution.

However, I do hope that it turns out to be real. We all deserve something good and real.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

bobsmith said:


> Guess no other place to stand on the rooftop tonight!! I think a few threads of mine back, I posted my list of requirements..... Some said keep dreaming. I guess I did, and it came true! I about fell over tonight to meet a woman that my friends knew, and I did not. I might not even sleep tonight. She is shockingly beautiful, and just hung on me all night long. Put it this way, when she walks in a room, I guarantee any man would check her out.
> 
> And we ran out to her house a few miles away and she did not want me to stay, well, sort of.... Lets say she is a good one and I respect her for it.
> 
> Catholic, hot at chit, legs for days, personality that set us off immediately, and she came right to me. I still don't know what to think but, thank you! This is one that will make it MUCH easier to let go of my ex!!!! No prob....lol




Glad you had a great night, you deserve it.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

what is odd is my friends actually put this together. It is her birthday but a good friend made sure, not matter what, I was there. I have NEVER had an arranged meeting that worked. What was even more funny is when we met, neither of us knew it! She actually came up to me and later we learned we were supposed it meet. 

All it all, a great and funny night of coincidence. I nearly blew her off as someone WAY out of my league and don't waste my time but she persisted in talked to me. 

All I can say tonight is WOW! 

Only thing on my list that is a no-go is she is a mother of a 1yo. I sort of figured the if a good one came along, it would not matter....


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

bobsmith said:


> what is odd is my friends actually put this together. It is her birthday but a good friend made sure, not matter what, I was there. I have NEVER had an arranged meeting that worked. What was even more funny is when we met, neither of us knew it! She actually came up to me and later we learned we were supposed it meet.
> 
> All it all, a great and funny night of coincidence. I nearly blew her off as someone WAY out of my league and don't waste my time but she persisted in talked to me.
> 
> ...


Oh friend, if she was not into dating with a young one at home, she would not have talked to you. Just take it slow and ask her about it. It IS a good sign that she is interested in you. Just be transparent from the beginning and you won't have any regrets later. Happy Saturday night to you!!:smthumbup:


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

No doubt I am trying to keep the brakes on and keep reality in check here! I actually blew off a sure "lay" tonight for her because I could see her as more than a fling. what is so crazy is I know her brother pretty well and just never met her! Her brother was standing right there when we met and he was like "uh, so I think that was more than a meet and greet". I think he saw it in me and his sis. 


Sorry, I guess it has been a LONG time since getting butterflies and chit.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Lol

Ah gotta love it when butterflies happen - for others that is...

Personally I find the whole experience rather unpleasant!


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Lol
> 
> Ah gotta love it when butterflies happen - for others that is...
> 
> Personally I find the whole experience rather unpleasant!


Lol, same. Actually, butterflies for me resulted in feeling a little antagonistic towards my now DH. "ooh, feeling a bit off centre, GRRRR"


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

The perfect 10 = honeymoon phase.

nuff said


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Believe ne, she has some issues like everybody unless ahe is a Cherry2000.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Thound said:


> Believe ne, she has some issues like everybody unless ahe is a Cherry2000.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:lol: Love that movie ! But even Cherry2000 had a problem with excess water ! LOL

BoBSmith,

Happy for you, but take it slow. She's a 10 ? Well she is a 10 with baggage since she has a 1 year old kid.

Find out why a 10 was left by H / BF with a 1 year old.

Its not all about looks, so be happy but be careful.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Please keep in mind that there is more to a woman than how hot she is. Show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I'll show you someone that's tired of her sh!t.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I am happy for you Bob. Enjoy the feeling. At the same time, I'm worried. Some things are too good to be true. Guard your emotions and find out more about her. Her child is 1 yr old, is the father in his life and hers? Remember that it is possible that she is still in love with the father of her child. She may use a new relationship to move on. 

I'm sure you know that you need to find out a lot more before you stake your emotions on this. Dating is discovery time. Don't invest too much on someone you don't know. Being a 10 means she has her pick of guys at any time she wants. Why was she not with a date on her birthday?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

It's wonderful you found someone you like. But you don't really know her yet so don't jump into this. She has her issues like everyone else in the world. 

You have lots of time to get to know her. Take that time.


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## easysolution (Mar 5, 2014)

bobsmith said:


> Catholic, hot at chit, legs for days, personality that set us off immediately, and she came right to me. I still don't know what to think but, thank you! This is one that will make it MUCH easier to let go of my ex!!!! No prob....lol


Good luck buddy :smthumbup: Just don't jump from the frying pan into the fire.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

I couldn't help but think of an olé country song when I seen the title....something like she was a 10 at 2 that turned into a 2 at 10...I'll hafta Google it. Good luck bud and keep your eyes peeled.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

It's always funny how quickly people think they met "the one"... it's all those butterflies messing with your head....it does a # on the logical momentarily.... oh it's exciting... but ONLY THE TEST OF TIME, some mutually enjoyed shared experiences, deeply shared talks.. learning of each other and the baggage you both carry... once you get to these places and you are still feeling this way ...not to mention some conflict on the way.. and some healthy resolving...still laughing & holding each other... 

Then there could be something to celebrate.. its not helpful when we set ourselves up for a fall....

All men are blown away by 's... 

You're feeling like this scene right now...  When Dudley Moore sees Bo Derek running on the Beach in 10


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> It's always funny how quickly people think they met "the one"... it's all those butterflies messing with your head....it does a # on the logical momentarily.... oh it's exciting... but ONLY THE TEST OF TIME, some mutually enjoyed shared experiences, deeply shared talks.. learning of each other and the baggage you both carry... once you get to these places and you are still feeling this way ...not to mention some conflict on the way.. and some healthy resolving...still laughing & holding each other...
> 
> Then there could be something to celebrate.. its not helpful when we set ourselves up for a fall....
> 
> ...


:iagree: so true !


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Slow and steady wins the race.....


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

I hear you guys. Always great advice here! I will dog more into this for sure but I got quite a bit of information since I guess all our friends know each other and I guess they were all conspiring to play match maker. 

From what I understand from her and others, the dad has commitment issues and baled on her when she was 5mo preg. I can tell she is uneasy about it because it was one of the first things we talked about....Kids... She wants someone with kids and OK with her little one. I can honestly say that will take some time for me. 

Who knows. I know we are talking, we are both very into each other and our upbringing is very similar. Seems there is enough here to at least pursue and see what happens. Guess I just got over excited to finally meet someone again that I connect with instantly. 

I think the things that might changes things for me is the realization of NOT saying certain things to my partner to tell them how I feel. I will be cautious but to be honest, the fact that we can't keep our hands off each other is a great feeling!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bobsmith said:


> I hear you guys. Always great advice here! I will dog more into this for sure but I got quite a bit of information since I guess all our friends know each other and I guess they were all conspiring to play match maker.
> 
> From what I understand from her and others, the dad has commitment issues and baled on her when she was 5mo preg. I can tell she is uneasy about it because it was one of the first things we talked about....Kids... She wants someone with kids and OK with her little one. I can honestly say that will take some time for me.
> 
> ...


Yea, we call that being in lust. Be careful that you don't create another baby before you know if this is really going to be a long term relationship.

While her child's father left when she was 5 months pregnant, there might be a good reason why. Just be careful.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

She seemed pretty interested in why I am now out of my LTR. 

I hear you on the lust phase. That is what caused all my trouble in the past... At least I am getting wise and walked away from a quick roll in the hay with another woman. 

We have not had sex. My respect level went up when she asked me to leave.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

bobsmith said:


> Guess no other place to stand on the rooftop tonight!! I think a few threads of mine back, I posted my list of requirements..... Some said keep dreaming. I guess I did, and it came true! I about fell over tonight to meet a woman that my friends knew, and I did not. I might not even sleep tonight. She is shockingly beautiful, and just hung on me all night long. Put it this way, when she walks in a room, I guarantee any man would check her out.
> 
> And we ran out to her house a few miles away and she did not want me to stay, well, sort of.... Lets say she is a good one and I respect her for it.
> 
> Catholic, hot at chit, legs for days, personality that set us off immediately, and she came right to me. I still don't know what to think but, thank you! This is one that will make it MUCH easier to let go of my ex!!!! No prob....lol


She sounds great.

Don't put her on a pedastal, have fun, don't tell all your business and definately don't talk about the ex or past relationship, keep it short.

You'll do excellent. :smthumbup:


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

bobsmith said:


> She seemed pretty interested in why I am now out of my LTR.
> 
> I hear you on the lust phase. That is what caused all my trouble in the past... At least I am getting wise and walked away from a quick roll in the hay with another woman.
> 
> We have not had sex. My respect level went up when she asked me to leave.


LUST is a great thing to have in a relationship. I wouldn't worry about getting to excited and making this one my next wife.

Also I'm not so sure getting strung on months sexless is a wise strategy either.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

While I love the delirious excitement in your words, I agree with others who have suggested proceeding with caution. 

This isn't the woman you met camping? I thought you were a bit head over heels for her - or am I confusing people's stories?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

LOL, I can see how this is starting to look online. utterly confused! The one from the camping trip may have been bumped. To be honest, I knew she was not "the one" because we spent some time together but I felt a really cool girl to get back into dating again and try things. 

The one I met last night stood out as a little different, in a good way. Lets say I am certainly not reaching for any wedding bells but she is certainly my type if everything else can be made to work. 

Just a few things that stood out to me, which will probably be reviewed as trivial i realize. She made it a point to talk to me and in my experience, these types usually know better what they want. There was lots of touching by her and I sort of relate that back to the love languages in which I am touch as well( NOT calling this love!). When we met, she reached out to shake my hand and has the firmest hand shake I have EVER felt by a woman. 

There are a few other things and again, i realize they seem silly but what I received was a confident and sincere woman. 

I honestly don't know how people juggle multiple prospects!!! It ALWAYS blows up in my face and I am not sure I even did anything wrong. This was just someone that I felt I should not blow off. I am good friends with her brother and he a really good guy and seems it might run in the family.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Think about nothing but her wonderfullness as long as it will last.

Why spoil stuff by overthinking it?


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Listen, all I am trying to do here is work by "feel". I know I am WAY over analyzing because remember, I in engineering and what I do.... however, I know the feeling when things click. I actually had this happen while I was with my ex and could have made something of it very easily but I could not due to my commitment to my "EX". 

To be honest, I am realizing how much I was missing in my life for SO long that I feel totally deprived!!! Like not getting a drink for days. This woman was, in my head (all that matters) a 10 physically, but other things clicked as well. I guarantee many other men would probably rate less but a 10 to me is what matters. I have been around tons of very attractive women but I know it takes much more than that for me.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

She may well be the one, and I think everyone here hopes she is
Just go slowy and steady.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I don't think anything you have said is trivial at all. It's often the little things that count. It's great to have that feeling of newness and hope with the proviso that you remember that it's discovery time not a prelude to a long term commitment. It's a bad idea to think too far ahead as another poster said. Enjoy your time together now and make sure to ask the right questions.

Just a word about beauty that may help. Many times women who are very attractive are also very lonely. They have a hard time finding a man who wants them for who they are. She approached you as a man she wanted to get to know. She may be tired of being approached by jerks. You can stand out by treating her like you would someone with average looks. Be careful not to act like you are overly impressed by looks. She has experienced that all before.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Oops, I probably went too far in texts today....lol I was cool as ice last night as she was hanging all over me it is a bit hard not to tell her. I believe what I said is her smile lights up a room and referred to her as hot. I did not go on and on. 

It is probably helping that her best friend is a good friend of mine and so is her brother and she has a pretty well informed opinion that I am a good guy that is not going to wrong her. 

One of my screw ups with my ex was never saying how beautiful she was near enough. maybe now is not a good time for that though?? lol 

I have stopped all contact with her though. We chatted via text earlier today for a bit. She made first contact. I figure she already knows I am interested so I should not come on too strong. Bugging the hel out of me though. I will find something else to do... I need to go run anyway.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

barbados said:


> :lol: Love that movie ! But even Cherry2000 had a problem with excess water ! LOL
> 
> BoBSmith,
> 
> ...


Yeah, but lets not assume that the husband left her. Perhaps she left him? Nah, couldn't happen.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

That baby is going to be a HUGE issue. Keep yourself grounded.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

3X, what issues are you referring to? Difficulty accepting this or possibly momma issues with her baby daddy, or maybe daddy issues? 

I really want to call and grill my friend for more info on her but I don't see how that is important right now seeing as how we have not even had a date....


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

bobsmith said:


> 3X, what issues are you referring to? Difficulty accepting this or possibly momma issues with her baby daddy, or maybe daddy issues?
> 
> I really want to call and grill my friend for more info on her but I don't see how that is important right now seeing as how we have not even had a date....


Possibly the baby daddy issues and ensuing drama, but I am thinking more about what a time suck babies are. Baby will always have to come first in her life. Are you willing to have to share your new found "10" with a baby/toddler? The baby will always be there between you and with you.

I know personally, at the stage of life I am at (44 with one child who is now 17), one of my dating filters is little young 'uns. I am almost done raising mine, and dont care to raise someone else's little ones now. And since you mentioned that was one of your cons as well, its something to keep in mind.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

I honestly feel having one young girl is probably the best case for me if they are going to have young'ns. I kind of agree that I bring baggage and might nearly expect to have to take some of hers. 

As far as sharing, I don't think it much bothers me I guess. She has a TON of family around if really needed but I guess I am used to being around them. Totally contradicting the no kids rule I know...

One thing I have on my mind is she might be having a hard time finding a willing participant due to her situation. I don't want to be that less than ideal guy for her and get screwed when things improve for her. 

I guess I will have to see how she plays this. She was ALL over me last night which i guess is a great thing but we'll have to see if there is any grit in the pudding.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Newest developments: 

So. We spent the better part of the day being unproductive and texting while she was at work and such. Maybe 150 messages by now. She gets right to the point on her questions, wanted to know about my ex, and actually she used to visit my ex at her place of business. Jeez....

Her situation is she was locked in with her ex and he decided to bail when she was 6mo preg. He moved out of state but comes here 1x/mo to visit. Doubt that will last.....

The situation is the girl is beauty queen gorgeous and it sort of irritates me!!! Prob because I can see this ending poorly for me but we fit like a glove in about every other way. She is athletic, catholic, touchy/feely, humorous, our families know each other, yada, yada. Not to mention I am VERY attracted to her. 

I guess the last time I was in this position was in high school and I screwed it all up with my insecurity. How can I test things here? We are both VERY open already. There is probably nothing I could ask her that would offend her but I am not about to say, "uh, why me if you could get anyone you want?" 

I guess the lesson here is based on looks, she out ranks me for SURE, but I am smart and gots skills and ****z. I think she also realized I am not a deadbeat dad or deserter. I have pictures of her ex and he fits the GQ profile to a T. More time in the weight room than in a classroom and probably sloozed his way into some white collar job. 

No way this guy was a country boy ever and I suspect was quite a prick to her. Regardless, I tend to wonder if a woman can really be happy "settling" for less physically? I mean, I will have my old self back soon enough but I don't live in the weight room. I guess I impressed her enough to hang all over me the other night but I have to wonder about long term...


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## Miss Independent (Mar 24, 2014)

Why are you insecure?


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

I don't know!!! I am not that insecure about lesser women but I seem to get into this funk of "not good enough". I know it is real easy to say "buck up" but I wonder how many men could really do this????

I have not said much all day about her looks because I would bet she has heard it enough. Well, I did say something about why her dad did not mention he had a gorgeous daughter.

Well, OK, a couple things is that I am not "tan" like everyone else. I am light complected with some freckles. I have reddish hair.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your insecurities will cause you a lot of problems. Work on them. Maybe it's time to start working out some. Not that you have to become a body builder. just feel better about yourself.

A lot of glorious women cannot get a man who is stable and about more than looks. Why? Because these guys are often intimidated by the women's looks. So the women end up with types like her ex, all show no substance.

Have confidence in the good things that you can offer. They mean a lot more than looks over a lifetime.

And on the topic of whose more 'tan'. I race really an issue here?


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Thank you. I have been working out and apparently it shows. My nephew and bros girlfriend commented. Also thanks to the help here, I am wearing more fitted shirts which seem to make me more attractive. 

However, I don't see too many knock outs with so-sos, at least not without a huge bank account. 

I certainly don't want to sabotage this by guarding too much but I tend to think I am setting up for a kick to the teeth here! I also have some concern with me having two boys. She has one little one but I have two!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bobsmith said:


> Thank you. I have been working out and apparently it shows. My nephew and bros girlfriend commented. Also thanks to the help here, I am wearing more fitted shirts which seem to make me more attractive.
> 
> However, I don't see too many knock outs with so-sos, at least not without a huge bank account.


Relax and let things flow but go slow. Take the time to get to know her. Don't do foolish things like move in with her in a few months, get her knocked up, etc. Take a year at least to get to know her before doing something like moving in together, getting engaged, etc. So slow. The purpose of dating is to find out if a person is right for you.




bobsmith said:


> I certainly don't want to sabotage this by guarding too much but I tend to think I am setting up for a kick to the teeth here!


Now what exactly is the worst that can happen here? You are not married to her. You don't have children with her. Your finances are not co-mingled. If you take it slow and things do not work out, then you will have lost very little. The kick-in-the-teeth happens when a person jumps in and over-invests in a relationship even before they know who that person really is.



bobsmith said:


> I also have some concern with me having two boys. She has one little one but I have two!


I don't see where this is a problem. Just take it slow with the kids. Don't get the kids all involved in what is a new dating relationship. Wait a while for that . The last thing children need is to be in the middle of your dating.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Like I said in your post about a bald spot... Your insecurities will cause you more problems than any physical traits you might have. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

sounds great, but how does she smell down there?


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> sounds great, but how does she smell down there?


And does she mind your bald spot, think you dress okay, not too young, and is she a freak in the sheets? 

Please take this in the supportive spirit it's intended, but I just have to say it: Dude. You're a hot mess. Slow down, work on yourself, get your head on straight and your sh!t together. Then worry about a relationship.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

LOL, I am just a mess. However, I guess my latest prospect seems to have reaffirmed that all my desires can be found. 

Freak in the sheets, going to check that since her bestie said something and she whispered "I would do bad things to you". 

Somehow, I don't think odor will be an issue here. I bet things are well tuned up!

Anyway, yeah, I hear ya. Need to meditate and recenter my chi I guess... or chit


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

If you don't fix your issues then it's not going to work with her no matter how hot you think she is. You have some serious insecurities and the hottest girl on the planet won't make them go away. Only you can do that.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

And in fact, I'd guess the hotter you think your girl is, the worse your insecurities will be. So maybe start dating dogs...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

PB, that seems to be my MO. I seem the "settle" for less. Then be unhappy about it. 

I will admit that I can put my "confidence face" on but it can be tiring. I guess I need to check myself in to the local ward. I am afraid of hot girls....

Probably something I should not have done was view pic of her ex. I have no doubt the dude is a tool since he bailed on her when she was 6mo preg but I am hung up on physical traits here and hard to believe women being serious with a less attractive man.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Oh for crying out loud. Stop worrying about your looks. 

I've never seen such an insecure man. That is going to be a big turn off to women.

Be confident in who you are! I think most girls really aren't as caught up on looks, as men. 

You can't go putting her on a pedestal, and worshiping her like you are unworthy. No one is perfect. 

Honestly I think some counseling would be really good for you. You need to love yourself, before you can love others.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

Believe me, I am trying to work this out mentally. I am really trying to look backwards and figure out WHY I am insecure in this way. 

I think a lot of my life, I have met lots of women that just were not right for me, even my ex but I figured I could just push through it. I was really annoyed in HS that of like 1000 girls, I was only attracted to 1 and I blew that. I hardly dated anyone. 

Then I got out of HS and the one night stand deal just seemed so much easier than handling the pressure of a real relationship. I lost count but sort of helped me get out of my shell. It boosted my confidence, women would see that,and I got more. Not ONE was marriage material though! We were all young and dumb. 

So... even being in an LTR with my ex, I feel I am VERY inexperienced in relationships. My nerves go nuts over just the thought of meeting new parents, pressure of meeting all the friends, trying not to make verbal mistakes, etc. So I just stiff armed all that. It worked with my SO because she does not have a good relationship with her family, no big worries. 

So then I find someone that feels very right, but I feel like a 16yo trying to feel my way through this. I am trying very hard to ignore the looks here and just say "yeah, big check mark, physical attraction will never be an issue here", and focus on her. 

I realize that a lot of my posts come off as superficial but I do know that I have talked to countless women like this and will blow them off in a heartbeat. Ditzy airheads are not for me, I don't care how they look. Actually, when this one came up to me, I was blowing her off as well because I figured "just another airhead that wants to know she looks good". 

I realized very quickly this was different. She is very direct with her questions and things I read you are NOT supposed to talk about but she wants to air them out and I sort of do to. We have already discussed our marriage failures and she wants to know why it did not work with my ex. 

Actually her very first questions almost put me in a stonewall but I figured, "yeah, I will throw my dirt at her so she will go away." She wants to know my age, if I have kids, how many, how old, if I am single. 

I picked up on one of her insecurities that I am pretty smart and she says she is not. She is sharp but I think she is insecure on this issue. I know it is something my ex pegged early. She said, "I cannot intellectually stimulate you." It really does not bother me. 

So.... Looking at this subjectively, I don't think the looks alone throw me. I remember a serious hottie visiting me many years ago and she was just a mess and I turned her down and was not insecure about it. I think this girl's appearance coupled with her many other attributes that are such a must for me now and so hard to find, I am in a tailspin of scared. 

I say this but when I was around her, I certainly was not scared or insecure. I owned it. Then I go thinking too much and screw things all up. This is actually why I drink!!! Alcohol blunts my brain from thinking too much.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

You are making the common mistake of thinking that "since she is hot, she is also the one".

Honestly, you need to be more discerning about what attributes are more and less important. Men who don't learn this and are always only chasing after the "hottest" girl they see typically have unfulfilling relationships. Same goes for women, of course.

It honestly SHOULD bother you if a partner cannot intellectually stimulate you. If you are willing to throw that out the window for looks, you'll be sorry later.


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

She is NOT stupid! She is insecure about it but I cannot honestly see an issue here! When I say I want someone smart, I don't mean has to be a doctor. But honestly, if you don't know the difference in two, to, and too, there might be an issue. My ex WAS this bad. 

I am not trying to make excuses and if I determine otherwise, I will have to figure that out.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I didn't say she was stupid. Did you catch anything else I wrote?


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## bobsmith (Oct 15, 2012)

maybe I misunderstood. 

I guess the other point I was trying to make is most of my life, I have had to pick between hot airhead or so-so intellectual. I can tell you that if I met this girl blindfolded, we would have hit it off. I am not yet sure how much substance there will be to this though.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Bob can you continue to actively seek out other woman to date. I think your problem may be that you put all of your energy into one woman too early in the relationship. If you had more that one woman to date you would not put so much pressure on each relationship. I read that it lis a good idea to date a number of people after a break-up so that you can decide what you like and don't like. 

Also, dating a lot of women will wear out the insecurity centers in your brain.  You will finally calm down and take a look at the attributes of the women you meet and find one that is a good match. I feel that you are putting too much pressure on yourself with this one woman. She is not the last attractive woman in the world so don't glom onto her.

Your woman picker is not as sharp as it should be so you can't trust it yet. Sharpen it up by getting to know more women. Have faith that if one relationship does not work out, then the next one will be better.


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