# trying to walk away before its to late



## christine30 (Mar 23, 2010)

I have written on previous post before. To make a long story short - At the end of the month, my husband and I will make 1 year. It has been very emotional and stressful moments in our lives since we got back from our honeymoon. He would continuously drink on the weekends, and say disrespectful things about me and about my friends. I have and had been pleading with him to stop because he will loose my love. He has gotten so far as getting a DWI and wasting half of our wedding money on these dumb classes and programs for something that is not helping. He continues to drink and it is so sad to see him look this way. He is not abusive- I just I hate to see the person I love be in this state. He is a caring and kind hearted person, but after all this emotion of us fighting, I honestly do not have the urge to fight for this anymore. There is no mental or physically fire between us, we literally live like Roommates- sad, I know. I did tell him that I am unhappy and I am not ready to bring a child in, if two adults can’t be strong, no sense in bringing a child into this world. I don’t want to cheat, or have wondering eys, for I know that is not the way to make things better.

Basically, I am unhappy, and I don’t want to fight for this marriage anymore, I feel he will not change, and it will reoccur again. I have given him numerous chances; to the point my friends don’t want him around as much. 

We are both 30 with no kids. What I am afraid of, is facing something that I might regret. His parents will be hurt, and it hurts me to have to put them in this. My mother knows what goes on, and she did ask me to give him a chance, in which I did- but obviously it happened again with his drinking. 
But right now at this moment, I just want to be by myself and enjoy myself with no stress and focus on me. 
How do I go by doing all of this?

Is this just a phase??

Thanks for reading, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.


----------



## Sad_in_NY (Jun 23, 2010)

Is this just a phase? You tell us - was he an alcoholic before? Is he unhappy? 

I worry about you concern for hurting others, JMO but, if you have no children the only lives I see that matter are yours and his. Not your in-laws or your folks. 

I know these things are easier said than done, I am very bold behind a keyboard. Unable to fix my own marriage.


----------



## christine30 (Mar 23, 2010)

Yes he was an alcholic before, but I never knew the extent to it until living with him. I dont know if he is, I told him he needs to find himself and decide what he wants in his life. 

Yeah, i feel as if I put others before me and just go with the flow. I just hope I dont regret and look like a fool at the end of it all.


----------



## Sad_in_NY (Jun 23, 2010)

I do the same, it is difficult for me to put my feelings first. Sad thing is that my wife will criticize me for my selflessness, she will insist that I need to put myself first, but when I do with her I am called selfish. Which is like calling Ronald Reagan a Communist - it hurts. 

I think you need to move on. I have always thought of my marriage on a scale of 1 to 100. With 100 being almost impossible. Like the stock market we have our "trends" our ebbs/flows. It is when we spend too many days in the 50's that I begin to think the worst. We still have some good days (80's) but we don't really get to 90's anymore.


----------

