# Sexless marriage. When to give up?



## SamKnapt (Jul 14, 2010)

Jumping right to the point- I am 24 years old. I have always been very responsible, very mature as a girl/teenager/student/graduate/adult. My husband the same way. We both have had plenty of relationships in the past, but when we met we just knew we were for each other. We've been married on coming up to two years and I can count on both hands the number of times we've had sex. I knew when we were dating that he wasnt as sexually active as I had been, but I love him very much. Now its just getting worse and worse. We've talked about it, fought about it, slept in seperate rooms about it. Now its to the point that I dont even want to try anymore. It only hurts me when Im rejected by my husband. I've always been larger- but athletic. Even so, in the last 7 months I have lost 60 pounds and am currently in one of the best shapes I can remember being in. I thought that would change something, but it doesnt. I resent him now. He doesn't make me happy and I cant broach the subject without him getting mad. When do I give up and finally say, "I am 24 years old and thats way too young to be this unhappy and I wont do it for the rest of my life"?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

That is a tough one. Im currently debating the same thing- except im 28. I slept in another room just the other day. lol

I think you have to have some kind of hope that the situation will improve. Do you have any hope at all that things will improve?


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## SamKnapt (Jul 14, 2010)

Hope is all I do have right about now.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i guess i should be a little more clear- what is he doing that gives you hope the situation will improve? im sure you've told him a million times what he could do. What has he done? 

What made you think your weight was an issue? has he mentioned it? is he overweight?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Unless he is seeing the doctor and was given a valid reason for these sexual problems - they are likely to steadily get worse.....




SamKnapt said:


> Hope is all I do have right about now.


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## toolate (Sep 22, 2009)

MEM11363 said:


> Unless he is seeing the doctor and was given a valid reason for these sexual problems - they are likely to steadily get worse.....


I agree with MEM on this. My husband is the same as yours and it has only gotten less and less frequent and he has no medical issue in that department. I am about ready to leave. I had given my marriage until August to improve and its coming up on August and we arent even kissing anymore, let alone having sex once a month maybe. It has gotten that bad... inless than 1 year of marriage. I truly think he got me married to him so that he could feel the relief of being able to say no to sex and I couldnt go anywhere else for it... a big worry off his back. Unlike you losing the weight, the stress a=has made me gain about 10 pounds since we got married, only adding to his disgust with me.

If I wer 24 with no kids in this situation like you, I would move on bc I know it wont change. You cant suddenly make him want sex all the time like you do and when you hit you mid to late 30's and want sex even more? You will hate him for not giving you any or giving you grief over asking for it, or telling you to get help for your sex addiction... low drive husbands sometimes call their high drive wives sex addicts bc they cant handle the fact that a woman wants sex more than them.


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## crazyhorselady (Jul 15, 2010)

Have your husbands had their testosterone levels checked? We assumed for 4 years that my husband's was fine because he could "perform", he just didn't want to very often. But it turns out it was quite low. Would have saved me a lot of heartache if he'd had it checked earlier.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

toolate said:


> when you hit you mid to late 30's and want sex even more?


really is that true? do women experience an increased libido in their late 30's?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Blanca said:


> really is that true? do women experience an increased libido in their late 30's?


 I know this is not true for every woman, cause it hasn't happened to any of my friends, but I know it happened to my mother -from us discussing it and it majorly happened to me, but a little later- at age 42. I think being done with having kids & the freedom that came with an IUD helped, but I know it was "hormonal" too.


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