# My husband had a relationship prior to marriage with his cousin



## armstrov (8 mo ago)

Found out about this relationship not too long ago. Im grossed out. Can’t trust him. I had a feeling when we got married they had a relationship but figured what person would have a relationship with their first cousin. Anyway, he refuses to delete pics of her. I always found it very strange he had awkward pics of her so I knew something was up. He finally confessed about two weeks ago. My husband claims their family and the church was ok with their relationship. If I would have known prior to marriage we would not be married. They have moved on but I’m grossed out by my husband’s character and now I don’t trust him. If he is willing to stoop so low how can I trust him.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

The issue is really they he still has “awkward” photos of her. Kind of kills the idea that he’s moved in. How long have you been married? kids?


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## armstrov (8 mo ago)

Casual Observer said:


> The issue is really they he still has “awkward” photos of her. Kind of kills the idea that he’s moved in. How long have you been married? kids?


No kids. We been married for 10 months now.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

armstrov said:


> No kids. We been married for 10 months now.


So you’re grossed out (understandable!), don’t trust him (you likely never will) and have been married less than a year. Move on. Don’t even think much about it. This was a mistake that can be over with quickly. Maybe even an annulment.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

armstrov said:


> what person would have a relationship with their first cousin.


One set of my beautiful grandparents were first cousins.


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

I had a Uncle who was married to his cousin. How distant, 3rd maybe.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

They are not brother and sister. Marriage between first cousins is allowed just about everywhere in the world. A little biology/genetics will educate the misconceptions of Marriage between cousins. I can't see other than ignorance to be grossed out.

He hasn't cheated on you with her, he moved on, so what's your problem?

I can see why he didn't want to tell you.

Basically, you have a bias based on ignorance.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Unless they are nudie or sex pictures, you can’t really gig him for having pictures of her because she is family. We all have pictures of our cousins. 

The problem is she IS family and she won’t be going away and will always be part of the family. 

If this isn’t something you can live with (which I don’t blame you) you will likely have to be the one to exit stage left as gracefully as you can.


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## armstrov (8 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> They are not brother and sister. Marriage between first cousins is allowed just about everywhere in the world. A little biology/genetics will educate the misconceptions of Marriage between cousins. I can't see other than ignorance to be grossed out.
> 
> He hasn't cheated on you with her, he moved on, so what's your problem?
> 
> ...


It’s not ignorance. I feel the way I feel. It’s gross. If this was so acceptable he would not have tried to hide it. Having provocative pictures of her and he refuses to Delete Is disturbing. The past is the past but he clearly is holding on and it has ruined our marriage.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

armstrov said:


> Found out about this relationship not too long ago. Im grossed out. Can’t trust him. I had a feeling when we got married they had a relationship but figured what person would have a relationship with their first cousin. Anyway, he refuses to delete pics of her. I always found it very strange he had awkward pics of her so I knew something was up. He finally confessed about two weeks ago. My husband claims their family and the church was ok with their relationship. If I would have known prior to marriage we would not be married. They have moved on but I’m grossed out by my husband’s character and now I don’t trust him. If he is willing to stoop so low how can I trust him.


You know, at almost all countries it is normal to marry a cousin, right?! (including no christian church opose it) Like, my downstairs neighbors are married, have 2 kids and are first cousins (a doctor and a dentist) and very respectable people, christian, and NOBODY blink an eye about them being cousins.

It seems to me some countries in the US its prohibited, so im assuming from there.

The thing is, he hid from you amd has pictures of her. Do you think he has feelings for her?


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## armstrov (8 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> Unless they are nudie or sex pictures, you can’t really gig him for having pictures of her because she is family. We all have pictures of our cousins.
> 
> The problem is she IS family and she won’t be going away and will always be part of the family.
> 
> ...





moon7 said:


> You know in most countries it is normal (including no christian church opose it). Like, my downstairs neighbors are married, have 2 kids and are first cousins (a doctor and a dentist) and very respectable people, christian, and NOBODY blink an eye about them being cousins.
> 
> It seems to me some countries in the US its prohibited, so im assuming from there.
> 
> The thing is, he hid from you amd has pictures of her. Do you think he has feelings fpr her?


He told me he will always love her. He said she was beautiful and saved lives. She is a boxer. He could not tolerate her getting beat up so she ended it with him bc he wanted her to quit boxing. He was emotional over it. I didn’t understand at the time how someone could be so emotional over someone they were “not with”. I took it as this is his cousin so he is emotional bit for them to stop talking over their disagreement I always questioned. His reaction did not feel right. Ever since we have been together life has been a struggle. He refuses to work to make things easier. He made many promises that have not come through. His lack of effort makes me feel like I am not valued. When I have a request such as deleting a provocative pic of his cousin and he can’t do it of course it makes me upset.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Rob_1 said:


> They are not brother and sister. Marriage between first cousins is allowed just about everywhere in the world. A little biology/genetics will educate the misconceptions of Marriage between cousins. I can't see other than ignorance to be grossed out.
> 
> He hasn't cheated on you with her, he moved on, so what's your problem?
> 
> ...


It would be bias and ignorance for there to be governmental laws barring the marrying of cousins.

But people have boundaries, feelings and things that make or break their desire to be with someone even if the pairing is legal and without medical consequence.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

The issue here is that he apparently hid this from her because he knew she wouldn’t be ok with it. It’s her right to be ok or not ok with a spouse and discuss things before marriage. And to claim he’s moved on while still keeping photos of her. It’s a disconnect from her feelings. A denial of her agency.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I’d move on. No kids and minimal time invested. Cut your losses. It’s all too weird and creepy to live with knowing the rest of your life.

My first wife cheated and then married my stepbrother who I had known since I was 11. Not quite the same, but still gross nonetheless.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

Two cousins married. Had many kids - all healthy.
Still married 50 years later.
One of the happiest marriages I’ve ever seen.

so it is possible it’s a good union - contrary to judgment by outsiders.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So you’re saying he refuses to work to make things easier? He doesn’t have a job?
Am I misunderstanding?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

armstrov said:


> Found out about this relationship not too long ago. Im grossed out. Can’t trust him. I had a feeling when we got married they had a relationship but figured what person would have a relationship with their first cousin. Anyway, he refuses to delete pics of her. I always found it very strange he had awkward pics of her so I knew something was up. He finally confessed about two weeks ago. My husband claims their family and the church was ok with their relationship. If I would have known prior to marriage we would not be married. They have moved on but I’m grossed out by my husband’s character and now I don’t trust him. If he is willing to stoop so low how can I trust him.


Ugh. What a thing to conceal from you.


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## Spoons027 (Jun 19, 2017)

armstrov said:


> His reaction did not feel right. Ever since we have been together life has been a struggle. He refuses to work to make things easier. He made many promises that have not come through. His lack of effort makes me feel like I am not valued.


This is what's concerning to me. The lack of effort in being your husband. How long were you together before marriage? Was he also like that before marriage too?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

If you’re finding that life’s a struggle now, it’s unlikely to get easier as time goes on.


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

Just want to let everyone know- 'That rubbin is racin'. Cousins and all.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

armstrov said:


> It’s not ignorance. I feel the way I feel. *It’s gross*. If this was so acceptable he would not have tried to hide it. Having provocative pictures of her and he refuses to Delete Is disturbing. The past is the past but he clearly is holding on and it has ruined our marriage.


Can I ask why you feel it's gross? It's not incest (if that's why you feel that way). He didn't have a relationship with his sister, aunt or mum (which IS incest).

A lot of people mistakenly believe that cousin relationships are incestuous, but they aren't.

It's highly likely he didn't tell you because he knew you'd react this way. I do feel that knowing that though, he should have told you.


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## armstrov (8 mo ago)

Spoons027 said:


> This is what's concerning to me. The lack of effort in being your husband. How long were you together before marriage? Was he also like that before marriage too?


We weren’t together very long. My mistake. I should have waited. I was way too trusting thinking God brought me someone great. I received a counterfeit and I’m dealing with the devil himself now. I thought I could trust him bc he was a prominent member of my church and I thought God was answering my prayers. Don’t get me wrong I know God can do great and powerful things but we all know the heart can be deceitful. Prior to marriage he took me shopping for a home and presented himself as having money and being able to provide. Everything was great. His “money” suddenly disappeared when it was time to make an offer on the house we were looking at. It’s not about money. It’s about his lack of effort and the fact he is using me. If he cared he would work. Instead he keeps telling me he’s going to get his money back soon and we will be alright. What if he doesn’t get it back??? Is he going to work? His retirement doesn’t even cover our rent. I’m working. I am so stressed. If I were a gold digger I would have dumped him after he supposedly lost all his money. I believe in hard work and doing what’s right. He, a man of God, does not display too many Godly characteristics. Some believe he got with me because he thought I had money. Now suddenly whatever money he lost will be back in September. If this is true show me proof. Put my king at ease. How am I to trust him when he has lied many times before?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Ah, yes... he is the guy who claims he made a fortune but has no money, doesn't work, he had several affairs and now he is still in love with his cousin. Nice!


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## armstrov (8 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> So you’re saying he refuses to work to make things easier? He doesn’t have a job?
> Am I misunderstanding?


He refuses to work. A few months ago we were on the verge of getting evicted. My family paid rent. I had money in savings. After we got married I paid rent for three months. He did not offer to pay until 6 months ago. He said he would pay half. I quit my job in nov to focus on real estate full time. I don’t regret it bc I’m actively pursuing real estate in other areas. I’m working full time but we still have stuff we need to pay. His truck was recently taken away… he claims he gave it up as a form of payment for having someone search for the person who stole his money. Now suddenly he is going to have money in September. Do I believe him…no. Show me proof. Put my mind at ease. Everything seems to be a lie and he never wants to talk about anything. He expects me to just trust him.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

armstrov said:


> He refuses to work. A few months ago we were on the verge of getting evicted. My family paid rent. I had money in savings. After we got married I paid rent for three months. He did not offer to pay until 6 months ago. He said he would pay half. I quit my job in nov to focus on real estate full time. I don’t regret it bc I’m actively pursuing real estate in other areas. I’m working full time but we still have stuff we need to pay. His truck was recently taken away… he claims he gave it up as a form of payment for having someone search for the person who stole his money. Now suddenly he is going to have money in September. Do I believe him…no. Show me proof. Put my mind at ease. Everything seems to be a lie and he never wants to talk about anything. He expects me to just trust him.


 I am not going to make little of the other issues but this guy is a user , sooner you get him out of your life and turn the page the better , I will not wast you time or mine in going into it as you know , he does not want to work and he only wants you to pay for him


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

You should have left him 2 months ago when you posted about him.

Forget his cousin, you’re just adding fuel to your already-present anxiety about this marriage.

Leave or accept who he is.



BeyondRepair007 said:


> You married an actor. A fake. A manipulator. A liar. A scam artist.
> 
> A man of faith would do none of what you described.
> Everything you said points to your husband being a user and deceiver.
> ...











Feeling Duped


My husband and I have been married for 7.5 months now. I feel deeply deceived by him. It’s my fault because I denied my intuition initially and failed to dig deeper. I have not seeked counseling yet because I’m not able to afford it. We met at church and he’s been a long time member and many...




www.talkaboutmarriage.com


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Well, then this is not really about you being gross out because they are cousins; which is how it came up on your original OP.

This is about you marrying a guy that is really not into you, is irresponsible, can't hold a job, and you feel deceived.

Then, what are you still doing in this relationship? Why are you still there? Why haven't you just filed for divorce.

You know you can say all you want about God here, God there, the thing is YOU have to take the initiative to extricate yourself from this marriage, you have to pick that phone and make a call to a lawyer. Talking and *****ing about it won't get you anything. Praying to God won't get you anything if you don't act.

if that's the marriage you have, get out, get out now. Feeling gross out about him & his cousin won't get you anything. Divorcing him will. It will give you your freedom.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

frusdil said:


> One set of my beautiful grandparents were first cousins.


Royalty used to marry their cousins. Abraham married his half sister, Isaac his cousin, Jacob his uncles two daughters or his cousins.

One joke on J Leno showed spot on WV marriage license to fill in “how is groom related to bride”.

Anyway, ten months married n no kids, cut your losses and find a more honest man.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

armstrov said:


> He refuses to work. A few months ago we were on the verge of getting evicted. My family paid rent. I had money in savings. After we got married I paid rent for three months. He did not offer to pay until 6 months ago. He said he would pay half. I quit my job in nov to focus on real estate full time. I don’t regret it bc I’m actively pursuing real estate in other areas. I’m working full time but we still have stuff we need to pay. His truck was recently taken away… he claims he gave it up as a form of payment for having someone search for the person who stole his money. Now suddenly he is going to have money in September. Do I believe him…no. Show me proof. Put my mind at ease. Everything seems to be a lie and he never wants to talk about anything. He expects me to just trust him.


Advice....Run....run very fast from this situation. Now.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I can’t imagine being in a romantic relationship with a first cousin. For that matter, I can’t imagine it with my fourth cousin. My family seemed fairly close, and I always viewed them as family and not romantic interests. I never had an interest in any blood relation close enough to attend the family reunion.


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## Spoons027 (Jun 19, 2017)

> A lot of people mistakenly believe that cousin relationships are incestuous, but they aren't.


Still a consanguineous relationship though. And still valid for people to think is weird.


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## elliblue (7 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> They are not brother and sister. Marriage between first cousins is allowed just about everywhere in the world. * A little biology/genetics will educate the misconceptions of Marriage between cousins. * I can't see other than ignorance to be grossed out. He hasn't cheated on you with her, he moved on, so what's your problem? I can see why he didn't want to tell you. Basically, you have a bias based on ignorance.


 *actually a bit of knowledge of biology would teach you it isn't good and inbreeding. *Believe me... Luckily not in every culture is OK with this. For example the culture I am coming from. Cousines are the same as siblings. It is zero acceptable in our culture. You have to be three generaons away from your family member in order to be genetically distant enough for it not to be inbreed. First cousin is still direct family and this means inbreeding. And I wouldn't allow my child to have intercourse with my siblings child. Cultures or comunities that allow that or where it is still common have a lot of genetic defects, immunity problems and disabled children. I see this in my home town. So many disabled children due to henerations of marriage within the family of certain migrands. Cousins share too many genes with each other. For animals it is OK. in humans it is problematic. Certain cultures had to do it, due to being genetically isolated for generations. For example in Europe and GB and they brought this acceptance to America too. Even here in my part of Europe (not my original culture) people don't really accept it anymore and are grossed out by it nowadays. And the state is discouraging people from doing it through education in school although it is still allowed by law. I understand the OP. I would be grossed as well and I think it is difficult for people who are the result of it to hear it. But it's not good


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

elliblue said:


> * a bit of knowledge of biology would teach you it isn't good and inbreeding. *


As a biologist I can tell you that from a genetic point of view, unless there are recessive genetic traits where the union of the genetic material results in dominant alleles causing a specific harmful none desirable condition, or if the two cousins already have a gene that causes a specific condition, then normally first cousins are fine procreating, as long as their progeny does not inbreed again. It happens all the time all over the world, with nothing to show genetically defective wise after procreating

That's the ticket. Inbreeding from one generation to another, and another is what humans in ancient times by natural observation and selection learned that Inbreeding is not a good thing from a genetic point of view. Matter of fact, the more diverse the genetic material, the better for passing on good, better genes, and the better to adapt and survive in the specific environment. Hence, the development of social taboos against inbreeding since the beginning of times.

With today's advanced genetic panels available to cousins that want to marry and procreate, is even more comforting to them to have that piece of mind.

First cousins procreating as long as their parents haven't inbred, have statically speaking no more than a couple of percentage (like 1.8-2.0) more chances of genetic defects presenting due to the Inbreeding. Basically, nothing to worry about. Unless, as I previously said, that they have a genetic trait that is dominant in the family. 

The mental idea that we have of Inbreeding is that of traits showing up in populations where the Inbreeding is continuous. Even normal healthy, non consanguineous people hsve a defect birth rate, just as close as two cousins marrying.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It seems you married a guy who has been lying to you for ages about all sorts of things. 
He isn't husband material is he.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

ah_sorandy said:


> I had a Uncle who was married to his cousin. How distant, 3rd maybe.


I have a cousin who did the same thing: married his 3rd-ish cousin. They've had I think 3 children who are all now adults. But, when their first child was born, oh boy, she didn't look like a "normal" baby at all. She's fine now, and has no deficiencies, but we were worried there for a bit.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

armstrov said:


> He told me he will always love her. He said she was beautiful and saved lives. She is a boxer. He could not tolerate her getting beat up so she ended it with him bc he wanted her to quit boxing. He was emotional over it. I didn’t understand at the time how someone could be so emotional over someone they were “not with”. I took it as this is his cousin so he is emotional bit for them to stop talking over their disagreement I always questioned. His reaction did not feel right. Ever since we have been together life has been a struggle. He refuses to work to make things easier. He made many promises that have not come through. His lack of effort makes me feel like I am not valued. When I have a request such as deleting a provocative pic of his cousin and he can’t do it of course it makes me upset.


Yeah, I'm not really one to jump on the separation train so quickly, but with the lying and hiding information, and the lack of participation in his marriage now, I would say that you are probably better off not being married to him. I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

elliblue said:


> *actually a bit of knowledge of biology would teach you it isn't good and inbreeding. *Believe me... Luckily not in every culture is OK with this. For example the culture I am coming from. Cousines are the same as siblings. It is zero acceptable in our culture. You have to be three generaons away from your family member in order to be genetically distant enough for it not to be inbreed. First cousin is still direct family and this means inbreeding. And I wouldn't allow my child to have intercourse with my siblings child. Cultures or comunities that allow that or where it is still common have a lot of genetic defects, immunity problems and disabled children. I see this in my home town. So many disabled children due to henerations of marriage within the family of certain migrands. Cousins share too many genes with each other. For animals it is OK. in humans it is problematic. Certain cultures had to do it, due to being genetically isolated for generations. For example in Europe and GB and they brought this acceptance to America too. Even here in my part of Europe (not my original culture) people don't really accept it anymore and are grossed out by it nowadays. And the state is discouraging people from doing it through education in school although it is still allowed by law. I understand the OP. I would be grossed as well and I think it is difficult for people who are the result of it to hear it. But it's not good


You’re correct, except that in animals it’s just as big of a problem genetically.
Purebred dogs have huge problems with eyesight, hip displaysia, etc. got example. Hence the need for OFA certifications and such. First cousins having kids is most definitely too closely related.

But I believe that kissing cousin should be the least of her worries. This guy won’t work, Is a leech, and uses religion as a tool/weapon to continue his slothful ways.
He’s a low person. Any man who has ex pics (scantily clad ones) would be willing to get rid of them at the request of their spouse.


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## Busy Washing My Hair (7 mo ago)

Sorry but I’d be absolutely disgusted to find out my husband had a romantic and/or sexual relationship with his cousin.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

armstrov said:


> He told me he will always love her. He said she was beautiful and saved lives. She is a boxer. He could not tolerate her getting beat up so she ended it with him bc he wanted her to quit boxing. He was emotional over it. I didn’t understand at the time how someone could be so emotional over someone they were “not with”. I took it as this is his cousin so he is emotional bit for them to stop talking over their disagreement I always questioned. His reaction did not feel right. Ever since we have been together life has been a struggle. He refuses to work to make things easier. He made many promises that have not come through. His lack of effort makes me feel like I am not valued. When I have a request such as deleting a provocative pic of his cousin and he can’t do it of course it makes me upset.


So the issue is not bc she is his cousin, but bc he used his cousin relation to lie to you and hide his feeling for her.

You seem to have got married under false pretence (by what you wrote he seem to have duped you, but i cant be sure from the other side of the world).

So he is 2nd choice (and a 2ndd cjoice he seems to care very little about).

What will you do about it?


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## ah_sorandy (Jul 19, 2018)

Ursula said:


> I have a cousin who did the same thing: married his 3rd-ish cousin. They've had I think 3 children who are all now adults. But, when their first child was born, oh boy, she didn't look like a "normal" baby at all. She's fine now, and has no deficiencies, but we were worried there for a bit.


As a child I was told that my Aunt and Uncle could not have kids. It turns out that I believe it was by CHOICE, because they feared what the inbreeding might deliver to them.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Where I’m from if you married your cousin you’d be considered a backwater freak. I can understand why you’d be grossed out.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

I tried to make out with my cousin when I was a kid and got rejected. 😑 Had no rap with women back then. But she also rejected an NBA hall of famer so it was a tall mountain to try for my first attempt.

Like others said, the level of your disgust probably has something to do with the fact you were disgusted with him already for other things. You might have just cringed and tried to forget it if he was actually a good husband to you.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

armstrov said:


> Found out about this relationship not too long ago. Im grossed out. Can’t trust him. I had a feeling when we got married they had a relationship but figured what person would have a relationship with their first cousin. Anyway, he refuses to delete pics of her. I always found it very strange he had awkward pics of her so I knew something was up. He finally confessed about two weeks ago. My husband claims their family and the church was ok with their relationship. If I would have known prior to marriage we would not be married. They have moved on but I’m grossed out by my husband’s character and now I don’t trust him. If he is willing to stoop so low how can I trust him.


This a blood relative? Or through marriage? Most states allow marriage to 2 nd cousin's, as there is enough DNA separation as not to cause genetic abnormalities.

I had 2 female "cousins" that their dad had married my cousin, they later divorced and his girls remained with their step-mom. They were thought of as cousin's, but there were not blood relation.

Keeping pictures of any past sex partner in my book is F'ed up and very disrespectful to you.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

armstrov said:


> We weren’t together very long. My mistake. I should have waited. I was way too trusting thinking God brought me someone great. I received a counterfeit and I’m dealing with the devil himself now. I thought I could trust him bc he was a prominent member of my church and I thought God was answering my prayers. Don’t get me wrong I know God can do great and powerful things but we all know the heart can be deceitful. Prior to marriage he took me shopping for a home and presented himself as having money and being able to provide. Everything was great. His “money” suddenly disappeared when it was time to make an offer on the house we were looking at. It’s not about money. It’s about his lack of effort and the fact he is using me. If he cared he would work. Instead he keeps telling me he’s going to get his money back soon and we will be alright. What if he doesn’t get it back??? Is he going to work? His retirement doesn’t even cover our rent. I’m working. I am so stressed. If I were a gold digger I would have dumped him after he supposedly lost all his money. I believe in hard work and doing what’s right. He, a man of God, does not display too many Godly characteristics. Some believe he got with me because he thought I had money. Now suddenly whatever money he lost will be back in September. If this is true show me proof. Put my king at ease. How am I to trust him when he has lied many times before?


In Biblical times, marriage between cousins was the norm.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

frusdil said:


> It's highly likely he didn't tell you because he knew you'd react this way. I do feel that knowing that though, he should have told you.


One should not marry someone if it requires keeping a secret from them, something they fear would push the other person away. This comes up so many times, but it frequently becomes conflated with notions of reasonable privacy. The two are not the same. Privacy is fine as long as both are good with it. With the exception of holding something back that you think your partner would have real issues with. Then it becomes denial of agency. Manipulation even.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Casual Observer said:


> One should not marry someone if it requires keeping a secret from them, something they fear would push the other person away. This comes up so many times, but it frequently becomes conflated with notions of reasonable privacy. The two are not the same. Privacy is fine as long as both are good with it. With the exception of holding something back that you think your partner would have real issues with. Then it becomes denial of agency. Manipulation even.


I agree - and I said that.


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## richard10555 (6 mo ago)

this fact is kinda bothering but this is the past.. it doesn't matter at the moment


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