# Wife's Friend



## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

Hello my wife and i have been working on spicing up the relationship. One of her friends suggested we bring another person into the bedroomm. How would you feel about that? What is the best way to introduce this person? Would you rather the person be male or female?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DANGER!! RED ALERT!!

That will never happen in my marriage. 

What does your wife think about this idea?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

No way no how. Open marriage is NEVER a good idea. Find a new toy, porn movie, role play or new position instead.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

hope1964 said:


> no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> danger!! Red alert!!
> 
> ...


this


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

We both are not excited about the idea and it would be very doubtful to happen, Especially not another male. However are thinking of another female that i would not be allowed to touch.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

What a wonderful, warm welcome!!! Lol!!!

From what has been posted here in the past - bringing another person around causes a lot more problems than it solves.

Plenty of other ways to spice things up.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Yep its a bad idea. Go to an adult store and buy a bunch of toys and soft bondage items. That should do the trick.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WeDoExist (Mar 6, 2012)

I just read a post by a woman on here that did this....and now her husband is no longer interested in anything sexual that doesn't include the 3rd party...


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

par4 said:


> another female that i would not be allowed to touch.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Uh huh. Like THAT's gonna happen 

It is a VERY rare marriage that can survive adding any third person.

Buy some books and toys. Read to each other. Make art together. Do it in every room. Experiment with blindfolds, food, rubber gloves, lotions and oils, positions, and anything else you can think of.

We discovered yesterday that organic unrefined coconut oil slightly heated in the microwave makes a fabulous massage oil and the smell is quite sexy


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## Broncos Fan (Mar 1, 2012)

It's a tough situation when this idea is brought up in a marriage. At least that's been my experience when my wife's brought it up. I think it's a bad idea and will probably lead to resentment, at least it did for me. Maybe your case is more mutual so who knows? But in our family my wife had said for years she'd never even think of a threesome, meaning I guess another woman. I'd never thought of it either, but when she hit 30 she suddenly became interested in bringing in another man. I thought I'd never put up with that, but before I ever had to say so, my wife shot the whole idea down after talking with a friend of hers who'd tried it and had all kinds of problems (I think that case was another woman). Anyway, I don't want to be a complete naysayer, but really think twice before bringing another person into your lives.


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

par4 said:


> We both are not excited about the idea and it would be very doubtful to happen, Especially not another male. However are thinking of another female that i would not be allowed to touch.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Incredible that no has read what you said above. So what you are saying is your wife has lesbian feelings and wants to xplore with your okay in a threesome environment where the two would be pleasing "just her" and your wife the OW. 

You see as a male I know I can not compete with a female when it comes to the equipment and what another woman would want.

Would I be okay with it? No, but obviously it is a need for your wife that you as a male can't give her.

I'd be more concerned discussing your spouse's lesbian feelings and desire.


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## Randy52 (Oct 15, 2011)

This is a VERY bad idea. The potential downside far exceeds any potential temporary spicing up of your relationship. If you are in a rut, there are any number of other things you can try to rejuvenate your marriage..... several good suggestions have already been offered. 

Another good recommendation would be to visit a clothing optional resort. There are several excellent ones in the Caribbean and also some high quality clubs in Florida, Arizona and California. Nudism is NOT necessarily an erotic adventure, but it can be stimulating. Check out website aanr.com for more information.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I say if you are both secure in your relationship and understand what you are getting into go for it.The divorce rate is how high ? and the majority of those people have never been swingers. I know a number of couples that swing and have been together for years upon years and are just your average people you would never guess are into. 
I would say read up on the subject do some research talk about it a lot pros and con then make your decision.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

If neither of you is excited about the idea, why is it even a topic of discussion? Start with a fantasy that ideally you both DO share, and go from there.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WifeyRes (Mar 19, 2012)

A big no no!! 
The thought of imagining your wife or husband being with somebody else kills inside imagine now that you will be there and see all this happening.. what if the wife becaomes to attached to the 3rd person? what if the husband becomes too attached to the 3rd person?

Is it even worth it? If you want your marriage to be over you will go for this but this shouldn't happen in marriage at all toys and books are the only way to go


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

par4 said:


> We both are not excited about the idea and it would be very doubtful to happen, Especially not another male. However are thinking of another female that i would not be allowed to touch.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I love this line and am amazed few picked up on it.

What would people say if it was two men/one woman and the man said only he was allowed to touch the other man?????.....


HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!! And we'd probably be up to 10+ pages of responses discussing how she better get tested and that she is in a bad situation.


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## zsu234 (Oct 25, 2010)

Swingers have a 90% divorce rate according to Dr. Harley of Marriage Builders. Do you feel lucky?


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Randy52 said:


> This is a VERY bad idea. The potential downside far exceeds any potential temporary spicing up of your relationship. If you are in a rut, there are any number of other things you can try to rejuvenate your marriage..... several good suggestions have already been offered.
> 
> Another good recommendation would be to visit a clothing optional resort. There are several excellent ones in the Caribbean and also some high quality clubs in Florida, Arizona and California. Nudism is NOT necessarily an erotic adventure, but it can be stimulating. Check out website aanr.com for more information.


Agree agree agree. My wife was hesitant to try this at first, now she always asks when we can go back!


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

HOLY CRAP!!! ANOTHER THREAD ABOUT THIS?!?!?!

Ughh.....I'm tired.


Okay. Here we go 

NO!!!!!! BAD IDEA!!!!!!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Would this other female have some sort of gear your wife doesn't possess? I assume both come equipped essentially the same. In that case, save your sanity and your marriage and just do to your wife twice whatever you were going to do with this other woman.


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## chaos (Mar 9, 2012)

FYI. Unlike men, women's sexual attraction to members of their own gender is not as rigid and they are more than capable of enjoying sex with another woman. Even heterosexual married women can have marriage shattering affairs with other women. You run the risk of having your wife become one of these women.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Not everything exciting is good. Heart attacks are exciting and so are car crashes.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

You're actually considering the male option?............


erm but yeah, keep that stuff out of marriage


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Par do not do it. May I suggest going to the costume store and getting a black and white striped top and bottoms. Take it home and you and the Mrs. can play escaped prisoner and wardens wife. Much safer and maybe kinda hot.


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## s3xy_g33k (Apr 11, 2012)

My husband and I slightly considered entertaining this idea long ago when we were younger, but soon realized that it was a terrible idea. Undoubtedly one of us would get jealous and then it would just be downhill from there. Now, the idea is heartbreaking for me. I would be so devastated if my husband actually agreed that we should bring in another woman to get some sexual thrill. I would, of course, feel that I was not keeping him happy.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Don't do this!


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## MamboKing (Jan 31, 2012)

So far, there has not been a single answer from a member that has actually been involved in this situation and has opined to the positive or negative. It would be very helpful to see someone that has gone ahead with the threesome scenario and find out how things worked out so there can actually be a lesson learned. A lot of people saying "Jut Say No" with no frame of reference seems counterproductive.

My wife and I have been carefully considering this for quite a while, and have decided that baby steps is the way to go. We have visited strip clubs where we have had interactions with the dancers. It has been very exciting for both of us and brought us sexually closer together. We have been married 19 years, so we are not rookies.

Our suggestion would be for them to try something similar, start slow, it's obvious that if one of the partners gets jealous even from the idea of going together to a strip club that this is not the road to follow. But if you try it and find the experience to be fun and exciting, then continue communicating and finding out if there should be next steps to take.

Someone quoted a study of 90% divorce rate for swingers (this is not exactly swinging, but just for arguments sake), but there are several studies that show the figure to be either the same as non-swinging couples and some showing it to be dramatically lower. 

At the end of the day, every couple and marriage has a different dynamic. Sex is, I believe, meant to be a way for two people to enjoy each other and come closer together. To some folks the idea of a 3rd person immediately violates this principle, but I do not think that is always the case. For some folks it can just be an exciting and new experience that can add to the sexual enjoyment and bring them closer together.

Seeing so many posts in this forum about folks having serious problems with their (lack of) sex lives tells me that it may not be a terrible idea for people to think outside the box sometimes.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Okay. My wife and I kind of did this via a full swap with another couple. Is that close enough or does it have to be a threesome only?

We thought it would be great and fun and sexy. In a way it kind of was. But in a bigger way it was a huge disappointment. What we both thought would be great made us just feel dirty and used. I kept thinking that if we only found the right couple or combination of people that it would work out and our sex life would then magically become fantastic. Didn't work. No one was ever as good as my wife. She said no one was as good as me. Now I know we're not all that in bed, but we are to each other. It took years for her to get over it. Eventually as we talked about things we discovered that no one would ever be better than "us." That was an awakening for us.

Now, we're not you. You may love it. But we didn't love it. We broke our marriage vows, we almost broke our marriage looking for sexual satisfaction in others when all we had to do was invest in "us."

We found that the fantasy was MUCH funner than the reality so we do still fantasize about it but we leave it there. I will never have sex with another woman as long as my wife lives. She will never have sex with another man as long as I live. 

So, I reiterate my prior post, my OPINION is no, don't do it. It's not worth it.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Hell to the EFF NO.

NO!

:redcard::redcard::redcard::redcard::redcard:


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

sandc said:


> Okay. My wife and I kind of did this via a full swap with another couple. Is that close enough or does it have to be a threesome only?
> 
> We thought it would be great and fun and sexy. In a way it kind of was. But in a bigger way it was a huge disappointment. What we both thought would be great made us just feel dirty and used. I kept thinking that if we only found the right couple or combination of people that it would work out and our sex life would then magically become fantastic. Didn't work. No one was ever as good as my wife. She said no one was as good as me. Now I know we're not all that in bed, but we are to each other. It took years for her to get over it. Eventually as we talked about things we discovered that no one would ever be better than "us." That was an awakening for us.
> 
> ...


Although you did not come out and say it the point is that you and your wife were truly intimate with one another and when that happens it cannot be replaced with [email protected]@K Buddies. 

MamboKing you can believe that you were truly intimate with your wife but do not kid yourself your scenario does not fit the definition. If that is or was fine for you and your wife great but I contend that it would be impossible to achieve true intimacy and bring others into the bedroom.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

RClawson said:


> Although you did not come out and say it the point is that you and your wife were truly intimate with one another and when that happens it cannot be replaced with [email protected]@K Buddies.
> 
> MamboKing you can believe that you were truly intimate with your wife but do not kid yourself your scenario does not fit the definition. If that is or was fine for you and your wife great but I contend that it would be impossible to achieve true intimacy and bring others into the bedroom.


We were intimate but we were slowly losing intimacy at that time. Thank GOD that we didn't lose it altogether. Other than that...

:iagree:


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

par4 said:


> Hello my wife and i have been working on spicing up the relationship. One of her friends suggested we bring another person into the bedroomm. How would you feel about that? What is the best way to introduce this person? Would you rather the person be male or female?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_




You want to spice things up? Buy a "sex" swing. Enough said.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Love Song said:


> You want to spice things up? Buy a "sex" swing. Enough said.


or some cinnamon and nutmeg.

Oh never mind,


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I have not had experience with an open marriage. I also have never had sex with an angry gorilla. I don't have to do either to predict a number of bad outcomes.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

unbelievable said:


> I have not had experience with an open marriage. I also have never had sex with an angry gorilla. I don't have to do either to predict a number of bad outcomes.


I think the open marriage is more foolish...


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