# How do you deal with the thought of sex?



## Geeky_Guy (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm very recently divorced and can't get the thought of her having sex with someone else out of my mind. All I can ever think of is some other guy doing things to her that I did, and it keeps taring me up inside. 

Not only that, but I feel like I need to have sex now with anyone to get past this. I don't know if it would help me out or make me feel worse. Please, I need advice.


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## hurtingsobad (Oct 29, 2011)

1. Don't think about her at all.....she is having sex, you were making love....BIG DIFFERENCE!
2. Go out with the guys to a strip club if necessary, but don't go looking for sex. It will just make you feel as crappy as she does when your done.

You are way better than her, keep your pride in your heart and your pee pee in your pants!

Stay strong!


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## speakingforsomemen (Dec 12, 2011)

Yeah, listen to hurting so bad. Go to a strip club, maybe she's dancin!


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## hurtingsobad (Oct 29, 2011)

:rofl: :lol:


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

hurtingsobad said:


> 1. Don't think about her at all.....she is having sex, you were making love....BIG DIFFERENCE!
> 2. Go out with the guys to a strip club if necessary, but don't go looking for sex. It will just make you feel as crappy as she does when your done.
> 
> You are way better than her, keep your pride in your heart and your pee pee in your pants!
> ...


I agree, banish the thoughts of her and another man.

Keep your self respect and remind yourself that she may be with another man but there will *never* be another like you.


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## Geeky_Guy (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm trying to get the thoughts out of my head and have been for weeks now. I'm close to pouring bleach in my ears to see if that helps. I'd like to think she's not with anyone considering I've only been gone for four days. And yes, she will never have another person like me. But as you all know, it still hurts. I'm doing what I can to keep my mind off her, but it just keeps going back to all different things.


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

There is nothing you can do about it. The only way to deal with this is to focus on yourself. Don't focus on the sex. Sex comes (sorry about the pun) in many shapes and forms, from pure lust to the best connection you will ever have with another person. You can't compete with lust but you can compete on the best sex a couple will ever have.

I accept that my W will enjoy sex with another man but I know that she will never achieve the sex that she had with me after 22 years of marriage. Again, excuse the pun but we knew each other inside out.


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## hurtingsobad (Oct 29, 2011)

Same here 22 years....

She will never have it as good as me..hell, I hit her prime from 22 to 44!


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## Geeky_Guy (Dec 15, 2011)

We married late and divorced early. I know eventually I'll get over this feeling, but right now, it's so strong it's tearing me up. 

I've come to the conclusion that your right, and I shouldn't go out and just look for sex. But what about a relationship? How soon is too soon. I feel so empty right now, I need something to fill that void. I think I'm going to look for a 24 hour gym.


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## beenbetrayed (Oct 11, 2011)

Geeky_Guy said:


> We married late and divorced early. I know eventually I'll get over this feeling, but right now, it's so strong it's tearing me up.
> 
> I've come to the conclusion that your right, and I shouldn't go out and just look for sex. But what about a relationship? How soon is too soon. I feel so empty right now, I need something to fill that void. I think I'm going to look for a 24 hour gym.


I feel the exact same way. This is the longest (2 months) I've gone without sex in the last 7.5 years lol. it sucks

I'm over the thoughts of my stbxw with another guy. she screwed her life up so bad that that doesn't even bother me anymore. but right now im the guy going out looking for sex (unsuccessfully hahah). I really do think it'll make things easier to have a rebound relationship. As long as the girl fully knows everything.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

From experience.... When the thoughts start in your head, change your thoughts... force yourself to start thinking about something else. Over time you will have stopped the reruns of her in our head. This worked for me.


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## Again71 (Mar 31, 2011)

beenbetrayed said:


> I really do think it'll make things easier to have a rebound relationship. As long as the girl fully knows everything.




I am a heartbroken female that was kicked to the curb after 10 yrs. I have been thinking of sex often. I agree with you, I think rebound relationship would help this sadness. I wish I had a close male friend that could be just for benefits.

The thought of him being with someone else sexually makes me want to vomit!

Such a hypocrite. :rofl:


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