# Unable to cum



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Im a woman and I'm having no problem cumimg, but it seems my husband is. I haven't seen him in over 2 months and I'm with him for our anniversary. He's been unable to cum the last 3 times we have made love. He's usually a very fast cummer. 

What are some reasons for this?

On another note I don't get as much pleasure if he doesn't cum. There is something about having his cum squirt inside me. When he does cum, I orgasm even harder,


I'm going to have to drive back home soon and be without my husband again soon
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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

When I have difficulties achieving orgasm (speaking as a man), it's usually because I'm stressed or otherwise unable to focus on the task at hand. For example, kids running around just outside the door, having my GF's mother phone at just the wrong time, etc. It has nothing to do with my partner and what's she's doing or not doing to me. And like ED issues, more pressure to perform is NOT going to help. 

C
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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

If you haven't seen him in two months, he's probably masturbating frequently and is probably used to the quick, self-controlled sex he has with himself than he is "real" sex.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> If you haven't seen him in two months, he's probably masturbating frequently and is probably used to the quick, self-controlled sex he has with himself than he is "real" sex.


Thats what I was thinking....i bet things will get back to normal soon. 








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## Cookie99 (May 21, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> If you haven't seen him in two months, he's probably masturbating frequently and is probably used to the quick, self-controlled sex he has with himself than he is "real" sex.


Sorry but for me there is nothing more stimualting than real sex way above masturbation brief or long. cookie


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

My husband has that problem when we have not been placing enough space between our sexual encounters, so we put a day in between when we can stand it.

He also had difficulty ejaculating when we first began to make love while we were dating. Apparently, I made his wait the longest for sex out of every other woman my husband dated and he became accustomed to holding back. If your hubby is not a frequent masturbater, could he have the same issue mine did?


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Lack of sleep, attempting to have sex only at night, sex on a full stomach. Also, consuming alcohol.

The other issue with 'performance' is that it can get inside a man's head and start to mess with it. Instead of just relaxing and enjoying himself, he can start to worry about whether or not it's going to happen, and the more he thinks about that, the more it saps him until it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And nothing makes this worse than a partner who starts to make a big deal about it, especially WHILE you're having sex...


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My husband is stressed. As I was driving to see him on Wednesday he was wrongly laid off. He is worried that when we get back from seeing each other that he won't get called back out to work and he will have to pack up all his stuff and go back to our home state
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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

To me this sounds more like a medical issue. If he hasn't climaxed in two months and you're having sex on a regular basis, then something is wrong. I'd recommend getting him to see his doctor ASAP.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

blueskies30 said:


> *My husband is stressed. As I was driving to see him on Wednesday he was wrongly laid off. He is worried that when we get back from seeing each other that he won't get called back out to work and he will have to pack up all his stuff and go back to our home state*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This could be the problem.
With me, stress will not affect me ' getting it up."
But during sex , my mind would be all over the place and I cannot really concentrate.
Failed climax.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Also, this may sound stupid, but if he is having trouble climaxing, make sure he's drinking plenty of water and not sugary drinks. I don't know how it works, but drinking a lot of water makes it easier to ejaculate.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Dr. Rockstar said:


> Also, this may sound stupid, but if he is having trouble climaxing, make sure he's drinking plenty of water and not sugary drinks. I don't know how it works, but drinking a lot of water makes it easier to ejaculate.


Probably more accurate to say that being dehydrated hurts the process, but either way... water is helpful.


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## DiegoQuin (Aug 14, 2012)

When I have difficulties achieving orgasm


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## WEDDING_PLANNER1964 (Aug 14, 2012)

A quick tip: Dirty talk can go a LONG way. 

Tell him you want his cum. Maybe give him a new target?

It could be that he is depressed or stressed out. He also may be experimenting with drugs. Drugs such as Ecstasy can make it hard to ejaculate. Is it possible he has taken up such habits? Do his pupils seem unusually dilated whilst you two are making love?

Cheers Mate


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## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

Is he taking any new medication?


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## Matt1720 (May 7, 2012)

DiegoQuin said:


> When I have difficulties achieving orgasm


yesss? i'm waiting with bated breath


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

No he's not taking any new medications and he would not do drugs at all. He will not drink alcohol. He drinks water like its going out of style and always has. 

I think his mind probably might have been wandering to stress stuff. He did just get laid off the day I was driving out to see him and it was a very bad deal. Where he got a call to ask if it would be possible if he could get a lay off cause they had a job they wanted him on. Only that must have been a prank call cause there was no job and the company he was working for laid him off before he had another job. Now he's afraid the union is not going to protect him.

He's never had this problem before, it's usually the other way around where he cums too fast for his needs. For me as long as there is enough foreplay, I cum fast too.

I know I would make him feel even worse if I mentioned too much about him not cumimg. So I haven't harped on it. We have had sex 3 times in 4 days when he used to be a once every 2 weeks man. 

He hardly ever masterbates and doesnt like to talk about it, but he does tell me he does it while we are apart. He won't tell me how often he does it. I'm thinking he does it at least once a week.
I was afraid that maybe he could have gotten used to cummin while self stimulation, but he's traveled for work before and had no problems coming home for a visit and cummin quickly inside me.
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## WEDDING_PLANNER1964 (Aug 14, 2012)

blueskies30 said:


> No he's not taking any new medications and he would not do drugs at all. He will not drink alcohol. He drinks water like its going out of style and always has.
> 
> I think his mind probably might have been wandering to stress stuff. He did just get laid off the day I was driving out to see him and it was a very bad deal. Where he got a call to ask if it would be possible if he could get a lay off cause they had a job they wanted him on. Only that must have been a prank call cause there was no job and the company he was working for laid him off before he had another job. Now he's afraid the union is not going to protect him.
> 
> ...


Well it could be that in your absence he has developed some fetishes .. having a fetish can make it hard to cum from regular sex, there is often a degree of fantasy that must be obtained in order to reach that climax. 

It could also be that he is just stressed out .. sounds like hes going through a tough time. Maybe you two are getting into sex too fast? Like maybe you need to spend some intimate time together (cuddling, light touching, kissing) before working into intercourse. This might get his mind off what's troubling him for long enough that he can actually relax and get into it. 

You could also try something new? Many men enjoy having their ass played with and perhaps fingered. I dont know your husband so you will know better than I but just keep in mind that trying something new might solve this problem.

Cheers Mate


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

Testosterone? Don't know much about this...first thing that popped into myhead.


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## entrada (Jul 12, 2012)

I think it has much to do with his job. Man is meant to work. Concentrate on boosting his morale by carefully reminding him that he's the ''man'' irrespective of his job status. With time he'll be back to normal and maybe even better than before. All the best!
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## Feelingdown (Aug 13, 2012)

Does he watch a lot of porn/masterbate?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Blue, my husband has had this issue lately as well. His doctor thinks it is related to his depressive state. I am more inclined to believe it is likely low T and/or stressing about NOT being able to cum. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all. Anyway, I think his meds contribute to some of it as well. I am trying to get him to make an appointment to get the T checked...if for no other reason than to rule it out! He can get up, he can stay hard... but sometimes, just no orgasm. He tries tho. And, at least we have our one-on-one time to keep intimacy there. In your case, I am inclined to think it is stress because of the lay-off. Hopefully, it gets resolved soon. If the issue persists (even while away, if masturbating), get him to see a doctor to get checked out.


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