# Recent Events



## southerngq (Oct 13, 2009)

This is a new situation for me so I hope I can get some answers here. My wife and I have been together for almost 13 years. We have been through a lot together (ie. my alcoholism- sober for 7 years, loss of jobs, money issues, etc.) In the last month, I have become suspicious. I overheard several phone conversations between my wife and another man. They were discussing me. Then my wife decided to get a hotel room by herslef to get away and relax. I have always trusted my wife and had no reason not to. (but I did wonder) Anyway, I started looking at her phone and text records and found that she and this mystery guy have bee talking A LOT over the las month. Overheard another cell conversation (on purpose lol) and heard her mention the Hampton In in our town. The next night my wife and I sat down and she told me that she was not happy and had not been for a long time. She wanted to separate. She decided to go to her mother's house that night and let things sink in. I agreed this was a good idea. Later that night however, I began thinkig about the earlier conversation. I could not take it any longer, I had to know. I drove to the local hotel and damned if I didn't find her car in the lot. I called her on he phone from the parking lot. Obviously startled, she swore she was alone and told me she would gladly let me into the room. Pissed, I went home to ponder. The next day, we talked some more and tried to figure out how to fix things without affecting our children, who adore us both. She said she needed space and I told her that she could have it, as long as I could trust her. She again swears that she has not been with anyone else and woud not do that to me. 
I am realy torn here. My wife an I have NEVER had an reason not to trust one another, until now. I do love her deeply and do not want to lose her, but, I am not stupid either. Too many things are not right. I really don't know whether to go along with this current situation and see what happens, or to be more aggressive and demand answers and action. Help.


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## sirch (Jan 8, 2009)

Listen to your gut, it is usually right.


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Hate to say it but Sirch is right.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I don't know how you didn't walk inside the hotel room!?

Sounds suspicious....

You need to lay down some boundaries...no contacting the OM etc.


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## southerngq (Oct 13, 2009)

What is OM? Other man?
I didn't want to go inside the hotel room because I was afraid of what I would see. My wife is not a very good liar and I was not in the right frame of mind at that time to have a confrontation. She has gone to freat lenghts to hide this from me for who knows how long. Everything is just coming together now. That keylogger I donwloaded has been a life saver. I have ANY and ALL information from everything she does online. It is comletely invisible. Great program. Now if I can just get the text messages somehow, I'll be good to go.


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## New Beginnings (Sep 9, 2009)

You can get a lawyer to file a subpeona for the records from the phone company or if your name is on the account you can get them online usually. Or if you have that keylogger, you might be able to get the PW for the account and access it yourself. 

By the way, what you said up there is basically textbook for a cheating spouse.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Check her phone records for both times she was at the hotel. If there were no calls/texts to/from him, he was probably there.

What is her position on the marriage? If she is saying she wants to work on your marriage, she needs to agree to stop all contact with him, especially since they are discussing you (even if it is not a physical affair it is an emotional one)


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## southerngq (Oct 13, 2009)

Marriage is now over! No talking about it, no reconcilliation. I have no doubt now. Sad though to throw away 13 years. In my mind, I am moving on and trying to figure out how I want to live the next 40 years....lol


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