# What to do?



## Tullytara (Dec 26, 2011)

Hello 
I am currently going through what i would call the worst time of my life, My husband of 10 yrs been togeather 14 yrs, decided that he doesn't havethe same feelings for me that he used to have. 
Now im no expert but as i grow older i know my feelings have changed but not to the extent of me hating him. He has been unemployed for 6 yrs and we have a 9 yr old ADHD son and a 2 1/2 yr old cerebal palsey epileptic, it has been hard but rewarding over the last 2 yrs.
Hubby suffers from a chronic pain in his right side for the last 9 yrs that hasnt yet found what the cause is. He is also on meds for depression for the last yr which has been hard. I have been the strength to keep the family in one piece for years and i have begun to falter i know i have. Two weeks before christmas he dropped the bomb shell that he was still in love with an old girlfriend from school who he hasnt seen since they were 14. and that since she got back in touch with him on facebook the feelings have all returned. they have contact through that only, now i did have my worries since in 07 he had an online affair which i discovered he begged me to take him back and that it would never happen again, and its taken alot for me to trust him again, but i do and i love him dearly he is my soulmate and as mad as it sounds i just want him home, He moved out to his parents house and has slowley moved his stuff out as well, Christmas has been a nightmare he wouldnt come on christmas day to watch the children open presents it was done through a skype call, he sayes that he wants to get his head straight one day and the next it changes to he totaly through with the relatioship

When he comes round he sayes theres bad feeling and theres always an argument, but i dont see it like that i have tried so hard to be pleasent, and not casue arguments. The only time there was bad feeling was when a friend was round, but i made it clear that we are trying to be nice, I cant help what people see and think. 

we attend counselling sessions but not sure how much longer that will go on for he has made it clear he doesnt love me but what am i supposed to do with the feelings i have its not like i can just bottle them. 
I dont know what to do or where to go i have no family here just his and it feels like im the one in wrong because he isnt happy. Im tired of being strong, and i really want my family back.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Have you expose his EA to his parents? Do they know that by letting him live there they aren't helping is marriage, but instead are enabling him to carry on the EA?

Do you know anything about the OW ? Is she married - if so find her husband and telling him what she is doing online with your husband.


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## Tullytara (Dec 26, 2011)

the OW is going through a messy divorce, they have basicly been using each other as a sounding board, as to his parents think they dont care about anything but their precious little boy (i call it only child syndrome)


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

I suppose you are working. I am not sure what you see in him. I suppose you will be left with the children. I think you should let him go but dont be surprised if hes back soon.


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## Tullytara (Dec 26, 2011)

I run an embroidery business from home inbetween hospital appointments, therapy appointments, and i am training to do my bhs horse management stage 1 as well, since its the only other field i am good at. He didnt have a problem with me training to do that or the embroidery which brings in good morning round christmas, (i did took the machine to a local grotto and embroidered stockings and christmas sacks) 

I spread my self thin but it was all for the family since he had no intentions of changing his career path (computing) plus with his pain adn depression it was hard to motivate him.


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