# Love vs Sex What does it mean to you?



## being the best me (Apr 25, 2011)

I am a married male (41) and i love my wife (38) more than anything. we have been married 17 years together 21 and have 4 kids.

I was wondering who other people feel about love vs. sex? I know being a male physical intimacy is how males project love and a female prefers talking and cuddling than the intimacy follows and i do understand it.

I also am pretty extreme when it come to making love to my wife, didlos, vibrators, fingers, fists, anal any goes. After we are finished i feel this incredable closeness and need to hold her all night and the next days into weeks i love here more than anything. 

What do you guys think, is there a difference between the 2 or they both the same?


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

Welcome to TAM

I was goig to start a thread similar... I was going to call it hugs or sex... which one can you do without? something like that. Yours sounds better!

With a wife who doesn't hug or cuddle all that much and up until recently, very little sex. I'll take the sex anyday and go without the hugs. 

After buying her 50 SOG from a suggestion here on TAM, My wife is an animal in bed. I haven't seen this in the 20 years we have been together.


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## being the best me (Apr 25, 2011)

My relationship with my wife is great, intimacy is not a problem, i am questioning the love vs. sex part


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Men can usually put each into a separate box, women can't. We can have great sex with women we could care less about. Women need some kind of intimate connection. And for people who have trouble with intimacy, sex and love are like mixing oil and water.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I am a woman and _can _have sex without an intimate connection, well maybe to clarify I need to like the man but I don't have to have love. I do have a FWB and when with him we have a blast and then go our separate ways.

Currently I am in an exclusive relationship and my FWB is out of the picture. The relationship happened almost by mistake as it was not what I was looking for but sometimes life has it's own plans. The sex is fantastic and clearly sex with an intimate connection is far superior, I cannot get enough of him but adore who he is as well.


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

in the past, I equated love with sex. I have since learned that is a huge mistake. They are 2 completely separate things. optimal would be being in love, being married to the person you're in love with and having sex with them as an outgrowth of that love. I do not have that from my end now. He is in love with me. I am not in love with him now. I love him and care about him deeply but the sex is really for his benefit. I want to be back in love with him. And I want to enjoy the sex the way I used to. now it is something I do to keep him happy. it is duty sex and he sort of realizes it, which is not good.

if I never have sex again, it would be too soon. And that's just being honest. I don't have a need for it or use for it. I do enjoy hugging my friends. hugging him I'm afraid it would possibly lead to sex. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

being the best me said:


> I am a married male (41) and i love my wife (38) more than anything. we have been married 17 years together 21 and have 4 kids.
> 
> I was wondering who other people feel about love vs. sex? I know being a male physical intimacy is how males project love and a female prefers talking and cuddling than the intimacy follows and i do understand it.
> 
> ...


that is really wonderful for you. I'm really happy for you in your marriage. That sounds really healthy and awesome. I think it depends on the people. I used to feel that way. I don't right now. I don't know if I ever will again. I have sex with him because it is something he desires and craves. I think that's very loving. I don't do it begrudgingly. for me right now there is no emotion involved in the sense that its just screwing. I don't feel closer to him and it doesn't make me want to do it again. And yes he gets the job done.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Love isn't VS sex. For me and my H, it's the same thing.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

I must admit that having sex with my wife is very different than the causual encounters I had while single. Loving the woman makes it more intense and I have a deep attraction to my wife that grew over the years. A type of animal magnetism. It's hard to describe, but just her scent and the touch of her skin makes me nuts.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

being the best me said:


> I know being a male physical intimacy is how males project love and a female prefers talking and cuddling than the intimacy follows and i do understand it.


My wife loves to talk, and she loves to cuddle, yes.

But in my marriage those two things don't proceed sex. When she wants to have sex, she wants sex. She doesn't need to be talked and cuddled into it.



being the best me said:


> After we are finished i feel this incredable closeness and need to hold her all night and the next days into weeks i love here more than anything.


That's exactly how I feel afterward too. I am extraordinarily bonded to my wife after lovemaking. 



being the best me said:


> What do you guys think, is there a difference between the 2 or they both the same?


For us sex is an expression of our love. There is no "versus".


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## being the best me (Apr 25, 2011)

I have read a few threads that talk about love and sex, that's why i put the VS. in there. Me personally can not have one with out the other, I need to feel that connection and afterwards i feel even more connected. 

I can't image what it would be like to have sex with out the other.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

being the best me said:


> I am a married male (41) and i love my wife (38) more than anything. we have been married 17 years together 21 and have 4 kids.
> 
> I was wondering who other people feel about love vs. sex? I know being a male physical intimacy is how males project love and a female prefers talking and cuddling than the intimacy follows and i do understand it.
> 
> ...


For my husband and I they are one and the same, and can not be separated. Even when our relationship has been at it's best, if sex has been absent for more than a few days, we still feel as if something is missing. And when our relationship has felt tense or empty, after we've had sex, we have felt much closer to each other.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> For both of us it's the same. We frequently still ask ourselves "it's not just the sex, right?"


I have asked that a few times... 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

IF I feel valued and LOVED as (me) outiside of bed then it is different more in the sense we are "somethign else" on top of this ..other wise its just ****ing..

Love if it exist for me is not CREATED in bed..it would be an "additive" and say an "expression"..of that love..

you can have one without the other..the two combined is the best..


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I joked with my husband last night that I married him for his body.

I'm kidding of course. He's my best friend....with benefits. 

For me I need sex to feel loved. When I was single I didn't need to feel love to have sex. It was just sex then. Now its both and I don't think I could have sex with him if I knew he didn't love me.


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## frankd (Feb 22, 2012)

For me there is no sex without love. 
Nope, no way, no how - my little friend is just that - little. 
Refuses to rise to the occasion. 

But then, from the first moment I saw my wife, I can't keep it down. 
Seeing a panty line, raising her bare arms up to fix her hair - anything, anytime, anywhere. 

Love and sex are one and the same. 
Sex is the physical manifestation of the emotion called love. 
Not oil and water, but sugar and spice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

frankd said:


> For me there is no sex without love.
> Nope, no way, no how - my little friend is just that - little.
> Refuses to rise to the occasion.
> 
> ...


I particularly liked how you phrased the bold. I believe this as well, however, I don't think that love is an emotion. Our emotions change and are easily influenced by circumstances. I believe love is a choice, and sex is the physical manifestation of that choice.


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