# Chrisitians/marriage/divorced....what to do?



## Blacksheepforever

So i wanted to be married for life(what a joke it seem like now.) I thought i had planned it out perfectly (didn't rush , was with her for 3 + years before we got married, no kids.) Then almost 5 years later bam, after another quick arguement over stupid stuff. I don't know why she would ask me a question, when i tell her the anwser will hurt her feeelings and so she shouldn't want to hear it.(but what do i know...oh yeah right im your husband; who knows you get really hurt whenever anyone critises you!) But then to leave and come back two days later and tell me your divorcing me....WTF...then its you cheated on me....WTF!....i had a STD because of you...WTF! (which was funny because she had the STD, i got check and didn't have anything...not to mention this happen 6-7 months ago.) But what do i know...im just the loyal idiot(christ tells you to love your wife as he loves the church and died for it.) So as a christian couple...i was super surprise she would say this, but (her defence is....i cheated....which under moses law allows for a divorce.) So me i was heart broken...i don't go out and party, i try to spend every moment i can with my best friend(my ex wife now...); but i wasn't perfect. 

But now almost a year later...how do i feel...not so great...i still wonder if this was her mistake(eve going for some bad fruit or am i be punished for life choices....Is there still chance for god to fix this or is it over....Of course she happy again serving in the church and living comfortably with friends from church(nothing new, use to do it all the time while i was deployed...) I mean i known her for years and could never believe she cheated on me ....but i guess i could say the same about divorcing me either(boy was i wrong...) Now i struggle so hard in my faith because even if she belives for the rest of her days i cheated(which i never did...) she will be forgiven. But because of my now backsliding i feel like jonah(why save these heathens who don't even understand your word. Guess i gotta spend my time in the whale...) 

I am struggling, but i know it could be worse...not in prison, i have my health and im still pretty young. Of course no kids which would have destroyed me....

What do i do now?


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## Mr Blunt

This is what I think understand about your post

Your wife cheated and gave you an STD.
Your wife divorced you
Your wife believes that you cheated but you did not
You believe that you have backslidden
You are struggling with your faith

What do i do now?




Work ONLY on you. Build yourself up as much as possible and include getting help. Allowing yourself to be all messed up because your wife committed the mother of all relationship killers-adultery is self defeating. Backsliding can be fixed and that is totally up to you and God.

Don’t blame God and lose your faith because of what your wife did or what you are doing now. You and your wife have a free will choice and the things that you both did are on both of you. Are you trying to scapegoat faith? If she and you had followed God’s ways neither of you would be in the condition you are in.

Work on you and that includes following God’s ways and getting over the rejection that your wife did to you. Make yourself quit thinking about her and all the rest, Get going on you and God and make a plan for a better life in the future. Do not buy into the saying that she is the only one for you; or that no one can replace her. She is not the only one and she can be replaced.

Is it hard? Sure it is hard but it is not as hard as you allowing her to keep you from God and a better life.


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## relationshipsguide_gal

Hello there Blacksheepforever, did you or did you not cheat on your wife? Because if your wife cheated, got STD, and was the one to ask for divorce while you have proof that you got checked and did not have STD and an affair, then your wife would be in serious trouble. the trials would find out the truth if it is you or HER who cheated (committed ADULTERY, against the law*) and got an STD. this is serious bro..


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