# My world has fallen apart



## Clobo (Aug 16, 2011)

Hi im 28 and so is my husband. Me and my husband of 1 year have been together for 10 years, and I found out last Sunday he has slept with someone else

We were together for 8 years, got engaged and got married on 24th April 2010. He has been off with me since last September, which is when he first met her for a drink hes told me (shes an ex from school) and I thought it was something i had done. He stopped kissing me, stopped telling me he loved me, stopped hugging me and being silly. He stopped making me laugh, and just changed overnight. We seperated in January for 4 days and I moved back into our house feeling like I had done something wrong. Since then Ive been treading on eggshells (He said 2 months after we got Married (April 24th 2010) that he wasnt ready for kids, so for the past few months ive not brought the subject up)

We went away for our 1st anniversary and things were good and we got on well, he was the person he used to be

It all came to a head last Sunday and he told me he had slept with her in May, a month after our first anniversary. Said shed told him she still had feelings for him and he tried to stop but things got heavy. 

I feel such a fool. I threw him out and hes been at his mums, since then ive tried my best to be civil and calm but I went for a drive last night and found his car outside HER house. It hasnt took him long!

How can somebody you love so much do this to you???


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh gosh. I am so sorry.

If you saw his car at her house it means the affair is still happening. 

My advice is to stand your ground: Tell him there is no room in your life for this. 

Is the OM married or has a boyfriend? If so, immediately expose the affair to her significant other. That will change the entire dynamic of the affair. 

DO NOT BEG him to stay with your or plead, cry, nothing.

You were right to kick him out. Now you have to stick with your boundary--that here are consequences for your actions.

What do you want--to stay married or divorce? You may want to post this over in Coping with Infdeility.


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