# Have a long business trip coming up - need advice on communicating while away



## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

I have a two week business trip coming up overseas. I've been having difficulty getting my wife to communicate how to make things better in our marriage. I need answers and she won't give them.

Over the two week period, any suggestions? I can email, txt msg and call. Or try not to contact at all (180?). 

I have several threads going that explain my issues with my wife. Issues with communication, not knowing her emotional needs, issues with sex (or lack thereof), etc.

On one hand, I can ask the questions via email. Txt msg is too short to get much done other than minimal communcation. Then, of course there can be phone conversations.

Thoughts?


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## howcouldshe (Jul 18, 2011)

How about Skype, all you need is $40 in cameras and internet connection


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

howcouldshe said:


> How about Skype, all you need is $40 in cameras and internet connection


+1
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jayde (Jun 17, 2011)

Tex . . . my wife was away recently for a week in the midst of some maritial turmoil. Communication was an issue as well. For us, we decided that we would have specific times to speak (once in the morning, once in the evening) and determine who would call whom (all on the phone). This way, no one felt slighted or was wondering why didn't s/he call me - what are they doing etc.

Secondly, we kept the conversation light about our respective days. We didn't get into any deep issues during this time. I, personally, felt that there was too much risk that someone would say something that would be misconstrued and with the distance and time apart, any miscommunication could quickly escalate with a communication void. And this gave us some 'time away' from each other physically and from the issues. 

Once she got back - the issues didn't go away nor did they resolve themselves, so I would suggest think of a strategy for reconnecting/communicating when you return.m Just my 2 cents. Good luck and safe travels.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Tx,
I've read some of your other posts, you could be describing my marriage...
You said you are looking for answers but your wife won't give you any...perhaps being away for a few weeks will be beneficial. I'm wondering if she might find it easier to talk about the problem by email rather a face to face discussion? I have always found it easier to express my feelings through the written word. My first marriage was a disaster...in part due to my inability to communicate with my husband. You need to find a way to get her to open up to you and writing is much less confrontational then a face to face discussion. Ask her to sit down and start writing...


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

jayde said:


> Tex . . . my wife was away recently for a week in the midst of some maritial turmoil. Communication was an issue as well. For us, we decided that we would have specific times to speak (once in the morning, once in the evening) and determine who would call whom (all on the phone). This way, no one felt slighted or was wondering why didn't s/he call me - what are they doing etc.
> 
> Secondly, we kept the conversation light about our respective days. We didn't get into any deep issues during this time. I, personally, felt that there was too much risk that someone would say something that would be misconstrued and with the distance and time apart, any miscommunication could quickly escalate with a communication void. And this gave us some 'time away' from each other physically and from the issues.
> 
> Once she got back - the issues didn't go away nor did they resolve themselves, so I would suggest think of a strategy for reconnecting/communicating when you return.m Just my 2 cents. Good luck and safe travels.


I don't expect the issues to go away while I'm away. I'm actually hoping my being away for two weeks will have her showing some appreciation of me when I return. This will help me gauge whether we've made any progress or not. Returning from other trips this year have been met with lukewarm receiptions. Hoping this will change.


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## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

Mrs. T said:


> Tx,
> I've read some of your other posts, you could be describing my marriage...
> You said you are looking for answers but your wife won't give you any...perhaps being away for a few weeks will be beneficial. I'm wondering if she might find it easier to talk about the problem by email rather a face to face discussion? I have always found it easier to express my feelings through the written word. My first marriage was a disaster...in part due to my inability to communicate with my husband. You need to find a way to get her to open up to you and writing is much less confrontational then a face to face discussion. Ask her to sit down and start writing...


I'll try some thought provoking emails along with daily phone calls.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Tx...it sounds like you have been coping with this for quite some time. I give you credit for hanging in there. Most men (and women) would give up or at least seek comfort elsewhere. I'm on my second marriage and in both relationships have had some issues with sexual desire (meaning lack of). In my first marriage the lack of desire was mine. My husband was an alcoholic, moody, unpredictable and I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around him. It got to the point that I was working 60 hours a week just so I could avoid being around him. I slept on the couch 90 % of the time to avoid any sexual contact with him. He just couldn't understand that his drinking was a total turn off to me. I finally ended up divorcing him. 
My second husband is the complete opposite...kind, considerate, loving...sober. After years of putting my sexual feelings and desires on hold I warmed up to him very quickly and in the beginning the sex was amazing. It seemed neither of us could get enough of each other. And then it just seemed to dry up. He still loves me, that much I know, but getting him interested in sex...well, its just not happening. I have a feeling it has to do with his testerone level but he just doesn't want to talk about it. It's frustrating. It hurts. At first I was blaming myself...what did I do, whats wrong with me? Why doesn't he want me anymore? I had to stop that line of thinking...I would have driven myself mad. I don't know what to do anymore...like you I can't get him to talk about the issue and what needs to be done. In all other aspects of our life together he is caring and loving, but I admit, I am getting really frustrated. 
I guess I got a little carried away and way off the subject of your question but I needed to vent a bit to someone who would understand the feeling of helpless frustration.


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