# Men, what would get your attention in this situation?



## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

Be direct. Write him, and risk facing rejection (why should that be the exclusive providence of men?) Just tell him the truth, and be a little easy going and playful if you can find it in your voice ... say "I really enjoyed meeting/catching up at dinner the other day. want to hang out again? (insert suggestion of some safe but fun event soon?)"


Seriously. the odds are overwhelming that if he is ever going to respond favorably, he will to this (you just coming out and asking). And if he declines - you will know clearly and definitively (something most guys wish girls would be.. nothing like an ambiguous/string you along answer) that he isn't going to be into you/not available at this time/etc.

No need to make it into anything more than a 'get to know you a little/have fun' thing. If it works, there will be a next time, etc.

Fun fact, after my divorce, I had several women initiate contact with me (some online, some I met first in person). One of those turned out the be my fiance. Clearly I am not holding it _against_ her - I just spend a lot of time _holding_ her.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

My wife gave me one light nudge 22 years ago and I took it from there. She asked if I was going to a party that night. If she had not asked I would not have gone and long story short there is a good chance we wouldn't be together. I was just a bit shy. But she only had to do that one time, 






applelemon said:


> Okay so I am interested in a guy that I briefly met at a family dinner. I found him on facebook and he added me and I want to initiate contact but I don't know what to do.
> 
> He definitely remembers who I am, but it is just so awkward to be like "Hey! How are you?"... Well maybe not, but it feels awkward to me. I'm a little reluctant because he is a family friend, and of course there is the factor of rejection.
> 
> I was talking to my friend that I should "accidentally" send him a message that was meant for someone else, but she said that is "so high school." I really just want to know more about him, he is interesting. What should I do? Please I need a guy's honest opinion :scratchhead:


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Debbie Roxs (Dec 30, 2011)

Yes become friends with him and as many others as you can also. You don't want to be sitting around by yourself. Join a photography club or any thing that interests you and meet men and girlfriends.


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Go for it. She who hesitates is lost!

But maybe make it indirect. Send him a message asking what his interests are, good way to get to know somebody. Maybe you have similar interests or he has one you want to look into.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I think you need to be direct, maybe not ask him out on a "date" but just a light hearted. "Hey it was fun meeting you at the dinner, want to go grab (lunch/coffee/drinks) sometime?" If you're friends on FB just send him a private message.

As a man I have to admit I am really bad at reading hidden little clues from women, I like it when a woman just steps in front of me and says "me like you"! lol Seriously though, why not just take a chance, even if he says "sorry,no" it's not going to ruin your life, but if he says "yeh, that would be great!" it could be the start of a whole new life for you.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Anubis said:


> Be direct. Write him, and risk facing rejection (why should that be the exclusive providence of men?) Just tell him the truth, and be a little easy going and playful if you can find it in your voice ... say "I really enjoyed meeting/catching up at dinner the other day. want to hang out again? (insert suggestion of some safe but fun event soon?)"
> 
> 
> Seriously. the odds are overwhelming that if he is ever going to respond favorably, he will to this (you just coming out and asking). And if he declines - you will know clearly and definitively (something most guys wish girls would be.. nothing like an ambiguous/string you along answer) that he isn't going to be into you/not available at this time/etc.
> ...


I agree that you should just send him a message. Be direct, and let him know that it was nice to meet him. Most guys would really appreciate this. If anything came up that was interesting in the brief time that you met, you can even use this in an interesting way to five him an easy in for replying. Something like, "Are you sure that you really like XXXX ?"


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Not direct enough, try harder. Be honest.


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

#1 sounds good.


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

maybe say 'was wondering if you would like to join me'.
let us know what happens


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

So do it already!


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

who knows?
you wont know until you answer.
if you do, say so but say they wont be joining you this time.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

applelemon said:


> **I took up on all the helpful advice and I invited him to an outdoor outing via fb. But I have a question... He asked if the outdoor activity is what I like to do with my brothers.
> How irrelevant since I never mentioned them in my post or invitation. Some quick background, he and my brother are friends for games online. Is this a trick question? Is he trying to figure out if it's a date?**
> 
> I apologize if I sound like a nervous middle school girl but I've really been rusty in the dating scene (last dated 7 years ago, boy has things changed) and I'm very unsure about things.


What a weird question!!!

I think you should say "no" - so he knows you aren't just looking for a "brother" to go hang out with.

But - without over thinking the question - what would your real/honest answer be???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

that sounds like a good start.
just let him know and make sure you give him enough time to plan it in.


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

wow.

Get his number, and call. Whats all this subterfuge and indirection?

Maybe work out some kind of double date with a couple friends. Thats always safe. Movie or something easy.


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Fail?


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