# Make A List of the Qualities You Want In Your Next



## Sparkles422

Relationship:

I would like:

Affection (very very important)
Love
Loyalty
Humor
Empathy
Generous
Patience
Intelligent
Curious
Creative


Long list, but not unimaginable.

What are some of yours?


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## Runs like Dog

I'm not saying you have to jump in front of a car for me, but it would be nice to know you thought about it.


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## Jellybeans

A partner. Like, a real partnership, not just a "relationship." 
Empathetic
Compassionate
Willingness to be a team
Someone who gives and doesn't only take
Someone who listens
Someone who likes my friends and wants to spend time with my family
Someone who wants to do things with me/participate in activities together
Someone who cares
Someone who doesn't give the silenet treatment for days on end/sulks
Someone who is emotionally healthy and loving
Someone who includes me in major life decisions
Someone who doesn't act like a child because of a disagreement/difference of opinion
Someone who doesn't only act affectionate when they want sex
Someone who meets me halfway
Someone who is kind

Basically a lot of the things my exH would not and refused to do


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## LonelyNLost

Good thread. A lot to think about since we've been through hell and should be ready to choose better next time.

-good communicator
-trustworthy and willing to do whatever to prove it
-someone logical and analytical
-a problem solver
-affectionate, likes physical touch
-someone who values our quality time together
-independent and outgoing on his own
-a true partner, willing to chip in wherever needed as well as include me in his life decisions
-sweet and romantic
-high sex drive
-in touch with his emotions
-caring, willing to help others
-knows what he wants out of life and how he'll get there
-someone who genuinely cares about me and the ins and outs of my life
-mature
-not afraid to speak his mind, even when his opinion differs from mine
-someone with the ability to talk things out with me, and put in input as well as receive it
-good listener
-fun, likes to go out and do things with me, but also has fun at home doing simple things like cooking, watching movies, playing games
-someone who loves my children like their own, but accepts that they have a father
-someone who balances me out and makes me think
-smart
-witty, clever
-good sense of humor
-willing to take an interest in my likes, and share his interest with me
-someone who understands what I've been through
-self-reflective
-motivated, and helps to motivate me to be the best person I can be
-someone with hopes, goals, and aspirations
-creative
-Someone who gets me (similar personality style)

Yeah, that's hard. I have faith.


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## Scannerguard

My therapist from long ago told me I should strive to find someone like me when I search, rather than opposites, and that affection was important.

After that, you have to be ready to compromise.


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## nice777guy

Honesty, truthfulness, and honesty.

And no lying either.


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## CLucas976

Really, I just want the qualities I thought I had in the person I thought I married. 

Not very exciting, pretty simple.

-love
-honesty
-support
-dedication
-loyalty
-ambition
-"teamwork"


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## Struggle Within

After what I've gone through the top 2 for me are
-loyalty
-honesty

The next two are personal but also required
- someone who barely drinks or doesn't drink (wine, alchohol)
- someone who doesn't live their life texting and on facebook (this is a big one for me, there is a better life outside this crap!!!!)


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## nice777guy

Struggle Within said:


> *- someone who doesn't live their life texting and on facebook (this is a big one for me, there is a better life outside this crap!!!!)*


Smartphones/texting/etc - going to be a big issue for me in the future. Sad thing is - you look around - almost everyone is more into their phone than they are the people around them.


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## AlwaysThinkingMaybe

Someone who you accept fully "as they are" that there's nothing you would want to change about them. And vice versa.


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## Runs like Dog

Someone who lives in another town and does not speak to me or contact me in any way.


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## nice777guy

Runs like Dog said:


> Someone who lives in another town and does not speak to me or contact me in any way.


Will they help pay the bills?


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## duskhunter

a$$es boobs. i'm not thinkin' of a new relationship as i'm just out of a 6 years one.


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## Runs like Dog

nice777guy said:


> Will they help pay the bills?


Oh dear god I highly doubt it. Not expecting that. First the seas would have to part.


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## nice777guy

Quickly inflates and deflates. Dishwasher safe.


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## Limping

I actually did this exercise beofre I met my Ex. I had 10 traits that were "deal breakers", things she had to have or no dice. Then I had about 50 things that I preferred, and she had to have 80% of those. 

The only problem was, she lied and I believed the role she played. She even told me during MC that I should have known that she was not like who she said she was. "the signs were all there." 

In other words, it was my fault for believing what she said when we met. I was flabbergasted.


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## Lon

duskhunter said:


> a$$es boobs. i'm not thinkin' of a new relationship as i'm just out of a 6 years one.


lol, me too, I guess I still got a bag full of wild oats (because I've never really opened it up before) and I'm not getting younger. What I want: a smile, maybe a laugh or two, and some wild sex - preferrably with a woman somewhat reminiscent of what I find physically appealing. Lately I just want to feel like a machine, as bizarre as that may seem.


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## AppleDucklings

I want someone who is:
loyal
secure
faithful
will honestly love me
accept my kids as their own
is helpful
knows how to communicate
trustworthy
has morals and values
and looks hot on a motorcycle


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## Freak On a Leash

Someone who wants to have FUN!!
Someone with a good sense of humor and who likes good and fun conversation.
Someone who likes me for the way I am and accepts me despite my faults. 
Someone who loves the outdoors and is physically active...hopefully likes to hike, camp out, kayak, ski, etc, etc
Someone who likes to go out to dinner and see live music.
Someone who likes loud heavy metal music. 
Someone who likes to drive around with the top down. 
Someone who is horny and always wants to rip my clothes off.  
Someone who is romantic in a fun way. 
Did I say horny? Oh yeah..I did..
I mentioned FUN too, right? 
Someone who has their own place to live and doesn't want to move into my place. 
Someone who doesn't get stupid ideas of getting married.


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## unbelievable

Reasonably sane would be quite a nice treat.


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## katy929

I have thought about this alot: 

- dorky and is proud of it
- honest and hard working but knows family comes first
- funny
- does not say one thing and mean the other
- does not run when life situations get too tough
- Does not have a crazy baby mama or a dumb ex wife that wants to be friends lol
- Has good morals
- Loves his mother ( big one for me, I love a man who treats his mother great)
- ok in bed ( I can work with ok, its the really bad ones I have trouble working with)
- Is not afraid to tell me the truth no matter how upset I may get
- Some who understand that I have had ovarian cancer so adopting children is my only option at this point.
- Someone who does not yell at me when something is bothering him.
- I would love someone who when he looked at me I knew how much he loved me, I have never had that so it would be nice..lol


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## katy929

unbelievable said:


> Reasonably sane would be quite a nice treat.


:rofl::rofl:

Yes, that is always good. I think you are asking a bit much though..haha just kidding.


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## Runs like Dog

What do I want in my next?

Me.


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## YupItsMe

Oh a well endowed, loyal, money making w hore, thats a great mom and cook, will do for me, especially if she wears tape over her pie hole when not giving oral.


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## Mike188

Dont want:
1. Someone that lies more than they tell the truth
2. Someone who is addicted to their cell phone
3. Someone who feels like I should be their servant
4. Someone who is un-caring about other peopke's feelings
5. Someone who is obsessed with getting attention
6. Someone that always operates at a high level of drama
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aston

Mutual respect for each other
Independence
communication


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## Janie

nice777guy said:


> Honesty, truthfulness, and honesty.
> 
> And no lying either.


LOVE it!!


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## 2yearsince

A real partner who communicates and I trust completely.

Not too much to ask for!


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