# Interesting article - The Porn Myth



## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

Naomi Wolf on Why Porn Turns Men Off the Real Thing -- New York Magazine

Thought I would share this as it seems to have some similarities to a few stories I've read here.


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## Gomez (Jun 5, 2009)

I really liked that article it made me laugh with how true it was, and it had alot of good points, some of which I hadn't considered befor.

I was born in 1977 and the first time I really KNEW what sex was is when I watched a porn, I was 14 and still a virgin. I watch porn pretty regularly still, but it has lost alot of punch in the last 2 years or so, probly because I dislike increased debauchery. Also things have gone on in my life to really turn me back on to my wife.

I try hard to make my kids life sexless, but I know one day will come the realization that endless porn is only a dozen letters on a computer away. We are honest with our 11 year old girl about what sex is, but she is till totally oblivious to why one should be attracted to someone else. It is a whole new world todays children are growing up in though.


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## hitched4ever (Aug 3, 2009)

I see much of this article as 'fluff' and sour grapes.
Some good points yes, but the hints of advocating the slavery of women by making them the 'hidden' private sexual objects for their husbands (with the middle eastern examples) only?? Right. I think not. Such notions are based heavily in male ownership of women. 

I have a 20 yr old son. I do think his view of sex is watered down. But, not much, if all, by porn. Its watered down by the action and easy availability of said action....which is a reflection of relaxed sexual attitudes in general. Porn isnt a factor. My son is constantly offered sex by young girls, all manner of kinky sex, with really really hot looking young ladies, some as young as 14 or 15 too. Everywhere we go and every time I am with him he gets all manner of phone numbers and potential 'offers' as it were.

I notice that at times he takes all of it for granted. After being with "DD Diana", a gorgeous blonde with Barbie boobs, tiny waist, and sexy long legs, "Regular Rita", the really nice smart young lady doesnt interest him much. He is interested in relationships/sex but only with girls of a certain physical type....which I agree is very superficial.
I see this in many of the young people I associate with.

I think the watered down diluted sexual atmosphere has alot more to do with the sexual revolution and availability of action then it does porn. Thats more of a symptom of the deeper issue.


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

hitched - do you not see any correlation between on demand instantly available porn and girls readily offering up sex? Because I do. 

Do you think most of these young girls offer sex at a drop of a hat because they really want to? Mostly, no. But they do because that's what they've come to think it takes to 'get a guy'. They've been told (in many different ways) that their worth is directly dependent on how '****able' they are. So you beat out the competition by being more available. 

And the competition includes porn.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

I'd be more interested in the whole thing if it was backed up by actual studies. Anecdotes can sound good, and resonate with some people's experience.

But the whole "porn turns men off real sex" hypothesis isn't really backed up by any hard data (yeah...pun intended) in the article.

btw, correlation does not imply causation.


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## hitched4ever (Aug 3, 2009)

nightshade said:


> hitched - do you not see any correlation between on demand instantly available porn and girls readily offering up sex? Because I do.
> 
> Do you think most of these young girls offer sex at a drop of a hat because they really want to? Mostly, no. But they do because that's what they've come to think it takes to 'get a guy'. They've been told (in many different ways) that their worth is directly dependent on how '****able' they are. So you beat out the competition by being more available.
> 
> And the competition includes porn.


Nothing personal but thats horse feathers.
Girls dont offer sex because of porn. They offer it because of relaxed values and morals. 

When I was young there were girls (and guys) that were very free sexually and those that werent. None of it had a damn thing to do with porn. None. 

As others have suggested, there is no data to back up such a claim. Porn is likely an out growth of the same relaxed value system. Both the increase in porn availability and relaxed sexual attitudes are likely the symptom of the same 'problem'.


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## Gomez (Jun 5, 2009)

Studies are crap. Logic is where its at. 

The increase of porn, seen on late night cable tv, girls gone wild, and the relaxing of values and morals are going hand in hand. But I see riskier media of all types leading the way, and us reshaping our morals to say its ok. It is not just the porn industry, I'm sorry but my mind goes to Elen's lesbian kiss on prime time T.V. as a major step along that path, talked about as such at that time. Media in genreal has become more graphic and base, and I see that trend in porn too. 

I also think it has a different affect on men and wemon. I think men become more ambivilent. Girls get freakier to get attention that is starting out at ambivilent instead of interested. I know my wife gets off on stuff so freaky it doesn't turn me on. I do think it all flows logically like the agribusiness ~ obisety thing. 

What does this knowledge allow us to do about it though? Perhaps predict that eventually modern media will drive people back to fundamentalist mentalities? Will we all splinter apart into sects that offer us a reason to shun the outside world? How does one get Media to do its job of informing us about our world without every business model being driven to more smut for more profits? 

I say we need a nother constitutional convention to deal with these and other issues plagueing us right now. But I doubt that would ever happen. None of it is taken seriously unless it is "Studied and published" by the very media that has an interest in its outcome.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

nightshade said:


> Do you think most of these young girls offer sex at a drop of a hat because they really want to? Mostly, no. But they do because that's what they've come to think it takes to 'get a guy'. They've been told (in many different ways) that their worth is directly dependent on how '****able' they are. So you beat out the competition by being more available.
> 
> And the competition includes porn.


i think most girls act out sexually because of a bad home life. I have had girl friends that would never do that, but the majority thought it was cool, confident, and definitely would. i was just on myspace the other day and i couldnt believe how many girls were proselytizing themselves. they've probably seen that on porn sites and know that's how to get a guys attention, but its a feeble and insecure home life that left them chasing after guys that way. its a shame, really.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

Gomez said:


> Studies are crap. Logic is where its at.


Sorry, Gomez, logic without empiricism is little more than philosophy. 

But I do agree that you can't lay blame on just porn. There are many different bits and pieces that make up our societal values, mores, behaviors, and expectations.

To assert 'girls are more promiscuous because of porn', or 'porn turns men off sex' is an over simplification. Without more than anecdotal evidence, I have a very hard time believing it.


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

Of course porn isn't the sole cause. Relaxed value system, sure.

However, I was stating that from what I know, from girlfriends, girls I went to school with and what I've read... that many (not all) girls feel pressured to have sex sooner and do things far outside their comfort zone. If they want their 'boyfriends' to spend time with them and not the computer that night, they better offer something more. And being a warm body doesn't seem to be cutting it. 

And no, I don't have facts and studies to back up what I've said. It's just personal experience. But you claim what I said is invalid, based on what? Do you have facts and studies to say that these girls don't feel that way? I see no distinction.

I thought it was a subject worth discussion and thought regardless.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

I didn't mean to say invalid, just unsupported. Not fact, but opinion. It could very well be true, but without solid data to back it up, there is no way of knowing.

Besides, guys have been pressuring girls for sex, and for things they aren't comfortable doing, ever since knocking them over the head with a club when they bent over for a sip of water became discouraged.

Because a girl feels like she has to compete with porn doesn't make it true. It doesn't mean that the guy she is after sees it that way.

For instance, I "know" from personal experience, guys I went to school with, and men I know that given the choice between porn and hand, and a real woman the real woman wins every time. But given the choice between porn and nothing..well any port in a storm.

And without meaningful research, there is no way to say where, between our perceptions, the truth lies. That's all I was saying, that the article (the article, Night...not you) put forth as fact something that was opinion, without empirical support.


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

Down - I understand your take on the article and that's completely fine - I didn't write it! Like I said, just thought it was interesting enough for a discussion... and viola!  

My previous post was mostly in response to what hitched said. I didn't mean to say you had said my opinion was invalid.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

hitched4ever said:


> I have a 20 yr old son... After being with "DD Diana", a gorgeous blonde with Barbie boobs, tiny waist, and sexy long legs, "Regular Rita", the really nice smart young lady doesnt interest him much. He is interested in relationships/sex but only with girls of a certain physical type....which I agree is very superficial.


Not superifical at all. Large boobs are a fertility indicator. Height and weight proportional with a waist to hip ratio of 7:10 is a globally agreed on sexy shape and results in better chances of delivering a baby to full term. Blonde is a youthful marker, and general "gorgeous" implies good overall health and immune system.

Sounds like your son has a perfectly functional visual assessment of which women will give him a healthy baby.


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## MarriedToTheOne (Apr 22, 2015)

Exploding the MYTH of Porn Addiction:

Exploding the Myth of ‘Porn Addiction’ | Psych Central News

No such thing as porn 'addiction,' researchers say -- ScienceDaily

http://www.lolitalion.com/why-sex-a...fear-of-sex-a-conversation-with-dr-david-ley/

Is Pornography Addictive?

Why there's no such thing as sex addiction - Telegraph

Don’t believe the sex addiction hype - Salon.com

Pornography and addiction--three harmful myths - counselor

The Myth of "Porn Addiction" - hypnotherapy-in-exeter.co.uk

Dopamine Madness Approaches Critical Mass: The Addiction Myth May Crumble! - The Clean Slate Addiction Site

Christian Myths: Lust - The Christian Left Blog


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## MarriedToTheOne (Apr 22, 2015)

Exploding the MYTH of Porn Addiction:

Exploding the Myth of ‘Porn Addiction’ | Psych Central News

No such thing as porn 'addiction,' researchers say -- ScienceDaily

http://www.lolitalion.com/why-sex-a...fear-of-sex-a-conversation-with-dr-david-ley/

Is Pornography Addictive?

Why there's no such thing as sex addiction - Telegraph

Don’t believe the sex addiction hype - Salon.com

Pornography and addiction--three harmful myths - counselor

The Myth of "Porn Addiction" - hypnotherapy-in-exeter.co.uk

Dopamine Madness Approaches Critical Mass: The Addiction Myth May Crumble! - The Clean Slate Addiction Site

Christian Myths: Lust - The Christian Left Blog


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## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

Interesting articles indeed. I've been doing a lot of research on this as well, since I am now living this nightmare.

There is much debate in the mental health community if this "addiction" really exists. In fact, it is not even a true medical diagnosis. One mental health professional explained it quite nicely, "it is a symptom of another problem (depression/anxiety, personality disorder etc.) and it is simply impulse control."

So much for my two closest friends telling me I should "give him a break because he is SICK." 

Yeah, OK. ABSOLUTELY NOT! lol


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Atholk said:


> Not superifical at all. Large boobs are a fertility indicator. Height and weight proportional with a waist to hip ratio of 7:10 is a globally agreed on sexy shape and results in better chances of delivering a baby to full term. Blonde is a youthful marker, and general "gorgeous" implies good overall health and immune system.
> 
> Sounds like your son has a perfectly functional visual assessment of which women will give him a healthy baby.


What a load of bs! There is no correlation at all between boob size and fertility, and while wider hips do facilitate birth, there is no "ideal ratio" for either pregnancy or live birth. And probably the biggest marker of her youth is well, her youth.

What's actually happened is that porn and other media has conditioned him to have certain expectations of women, and that the only thing that matters is how they look and whether they are suitably sexually slavish. If he's lucky, he'll find his porn star in the flesh, and have a great relationship, but odds are he'll wake up one day and wonder why his oh so beautiful wife doesn't like sex and treats him like sh!t.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I still remember growing up, my hope for porn was to watch the scrambled cable channels (Playboy and Spice TV) and if the universe lined up perfectly I could make out a booby (or was it an elbow???). 

It does amaze me how easily you can access Porn these days. My kids are still young so I don't have to worry about, but this is something I will definitely need to stay one step ahead of them, and if it means doing extra research so be it


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

where_are_we said:


> Interesting articles indeed. I've been doing a lot of research on this as well, since I am now living this nightmare.
> 
> There is much debate in the mental health community if this "addiction" really exists. In fact, it is not even a true medical diagnosis. One mental health professional explained it quite nicely, "it is a symptom of another problem (depression/anxiety, personality disorder etc.) and it is simply impulse control."
> 
> ...


what does your research (scientific, not puff pieces) tell you about the relationship between frequent porn use among men and performance in the bedroom with their wives?

btw way, i'm one guy that doesn't get the 'porn thing'.
much more funny than sexy.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
social studies are very difficult because there is such a wide diversity in people and in their reactions to situations. The relationships between different factors is very complex so it is difficult to evaluate how important a single cause is, and often impossible to tell cause from effect.

I put porn in the same category as alcohol and some drugs. Its fine for some people, but can cause serious problems for others.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> social studies are very difficult because there is such a wide diversity in people and in their reactions to situations. The relationships between different factors is very complex so it is difficult to evaluate how important a single cause is, and often impossible to tell cause from effect.
> 
> I put porn in the same category as alcohol and some drugs. Its fine for some people, but can cause serious problems for others.


you are right, but i would think that some social scientist(s) could derive enough data from different sources enough to do a statistical analysis and provide a summary of effects.

Of course, people will be different and some people will be unaffected by porn. But overall, what are the effects of prodigious porn consumption (by one party, not both) on marriage/relationships?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

MarriedToTheOne said:


> Exploding the MYTH of Porn Addiction:
> 
> Exploding the Myth of ‘Porn Addiction’ | Psych Central News
> 
> ...


Is this some kind of zombie thread record?


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Is this some kind of zombie thread record?


Yeah. Next thing we'll see is a thread titled "What do you think about the birth control pill for women?"


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

we are trying for the guinness book of world records for zombie threads. don't blow it for us. the guniness observers are watching.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

I remember in the early 80s when porn was just magazines stashed in the back of the cabinet in the bathroom at my friend Charlie's house! His grandpa often traveled to Europe and had an insane collection. In comparison the stuff online now in 2015 is tame and extremely bland and boring. 99% of porn now is some pixelated blond with a male actor that looks like he learned everything about sex by watching bunny rabbits mate (Like watching a little fuzzy jackhammer bobble around uncontrollably) and they never do anything creative. 

The nice thing about real women is that you can usually get them to work when there is no available Wifi, but if she has 4G LTE you have to wait for her cell battery to run out. Then she might be up to giving you attention. 

Badsanta


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

I recently had a chance to compare the porn from the 70's with today's porn, and frankly the porn women from that time period were much more real and attractive than today's plastic surgery enhanced women with hair free genitals. I'd do one of 70's ladies any day of the week.


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## Muse1976 (Apr 25, 2015)

Dogbert said:


> I recently had a chance to compare the porn from the 70's with today's porn, and frankly the porn women from that time period were much more real and attractive than today's plastic surgery enhanced women with hair free genitals. I'd do one of 70's ladies any day of the week.


While I never have been big into the whole porn thing, I will agree with you up until the point of the medieval bush.

Half of them look as if they could hide a tribe of pygmy's in there. I can't handle hair in the snack bar.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening jorgegene
It would be an interesting but difficult study. Double- blind tests are a bit tricky 

There have been studies on peoples reactions to questions immediately after seeing porn, but it difficult to separate the effects of the porn from the affects of the arousal it generates. It seems that when people are sexually aroused, they are less likely to view all sorts of things negatively. (including some that they *should* view negatively).

Information would be good. 




jorgegene said:


> you are right, but i would think that some social scientist(s) could derive enough data from different sources enough to do a statistical analysis and provide a summary of effects.
> 
> Of course, people will be different and some people will be unaffected by porn. But overall, what are the effects of prodigious porn consumption (by one party, not both) on marriage/relationships?


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> social studies are very difficult because there is such a wide diversity in people and in their reactions to situations. The relationships between different factors is very complex so it is difficult to evaluate how important a single cause is, and often impossible to tell cause from effect.
> 
> *I put porn in the same category as alcohol and some drugs. Its fine for some people, but can cause serious problems for others.*


I wouldn't quite go that far. Alcohol and drugs directly introduce outside chemicals into the body's system, while the viewer's response to porn stimulates internal chemical responses. I don't disagree that someone who can't self-regulate their impulses might form a compulsion-based reaction to viewing porn (as they can with any other activity they find pleasurable), but I'd classify it differently than drugs or alcohol. It's certainly become part of the over-(mis-)application of the term "addiction," in describing compulsive behavior and establishing an inappropriate equity with genuine addictions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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