# When is it time to end a realtionship?



## unbe (Dec 20, 2013)

What signs does your SO give you that shows its time to end it.

Some people are not strong enough to end it but still want it over. What are the signs that type of person would give you?


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

1. Infideilty
2. Lack of intimacy
3. your spouse chooses anything vs time with you


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

naiveonedave said:


> 1. Infideilty
> 2. Lack of intimacy
> 3. your spouse chooses anything vs time with you


Not aware of the first one in my marriage, but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. As to the last two. Absolutely!

I really wish she had made any effort to make things work, but alas, she was just too busy to be bothered. She didn't even have time to think about being intimate with me! But she sure had time to plan girls' weekends, cruises and a Disney vacation that I got to pay for.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Any type of abuse.
Violence, Emotional and Financial. 
A lot of men don't wish to leave or call the police, but once abuse starts it only goes on to get worse. 

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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

When the thought of being intimate with him/her repulses you.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Simple lack of respect, that is constant. 

It's always been my feeling that real love stems from respect. When that's gone, things fall apart.


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## unbe (Dec 20, 2013)

Satya said:


> Simple lack of respect, that is constant.
> 
> It's always been my feeling that real love stems from respect. When that's gone, things fall apart.


Speaks volumes, and lack of respect on any level. 


Basically whats been going on. I have been dating someone for around 4months. Shes a pot head, never been married, 36 yr old. She has no real ambition in life either, sounds like a real catch doesn't it.

In any event, she has been pulling back over the past month saying its too stressful living in two homes (she stays by me for the weekend mostly) and she cant do things she needs to do. She uses updating her resume and cleaning her home (sher lives with her dad) as examples. 

Over the past week I have noticed a change, even more distance. She hasn't answered the phone when I called a few times and hasn't responded to text messages. I did see her for dinner the other night and she acted completely normal, actually gave me things of hers to leave at my house. Since then radio silence, going on 36 hours now.

Are these signs she is looking for me to end it?


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Sounds like she's fading you out.
It's a tactic that is passive, so she doesn't have to tell you directly, and if you confronted her, she could easily deny and act like you're doing the breaking up by mentioning it. 

Honestly, she may not be ok with having two places. I was in an 8 month relationship where the guy told me... Only after I said I didn't think we could carry on due to incompatibilities... That he was tired of all the driving. Well, we both did driving and I was sure to make it equal and not all on him. I think I put more miles on my car but I didn't care! He'd never complained about it until then... 

Sometimes people fade away, for reasons we don't always know. It might not be mature, but I'd go with the flow. If she wants to reach out, she will. You just might not be available to answer.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Changing all the locks to the house ...


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

When these signs appear:

1. not interested in your life or what you are doing
2. little contact throughout the day
3. little indepth conversation
4. shows little care or consideration
5. puts themselves first always
6. does not really talk about the future together
7. more interested in outside activities, being with friends, golfing, sports, work, etc
8. exit affair
9. palpable resentment in their tone
10. no arguments or fighting as no longer interested


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

When it hurts as much as it helps


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## Jayg14 (May 23, 2011)

1) No sex for more than 6 weeks with no underlying reason
2) not interested in your life or what you are doing


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

It's respect in my opinion. Once the love is gone all that is left is respect. Once the respect is gone or fading your relationship is done, it's just a matter of time.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Wolf1974 said:


> It's respect in my opinion. Once the love is gone all that is left is respect. Once the respect is gone or fading your relationship is done, it's just a matter of time.




Wow. Once the love is gone, I'm gone


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Cheating
Lying about something big
Emotional or physical abuse (first time)
Not moving in the same direction, totally lost connection (that would take time to see happening)


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Lack of respect and compatibility. 

@unbe, you describe this woman as a 36-year-old unmotivated pot smoker. She treats your relationship as a companionship of convenience. This type of person isn't looking for more than that. There is nothing wrong with it, unless you are looking for a life partner. She is clearly not qualified at this time. If you do want more than what she is giving, ask for it or move on. Either way, I suspect that will make an end it of it. 

Best


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## JohnH2019 (Oct 26, 2016)

The fact that you asked this question suggests that you have sensed some changes. One question to consider is has the changes resulted from a change in your behavior. Sometimes unintentionally due to work or a new responsibility. However, you have to be clear with your significant other. If there are no changes in your behavior, be proactive and ask your wife what's wrong so you can determine how to address it or if you want to address it.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

When you can't start a thread without misspelling the title...

:grin2:


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

unbe said:


> Speaks volumes, and lack of respect on any level.
> 
> 
> Basically whats been going on. I have been dating someone for around 4months. Shes a pot head, never been married, 36 yr old. She has no real ambition in life either, sounds like a real catch doesn't it.
> ...



Yep. 

She's definitely trying to slip out the side door. Just cut off all contact. You don't even need to really break up with her. Change your locks. Take her stuff back to her dads and leave it on the porch.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

unbe said:


> What signs does your SO give you that shows its time to end it.
> 
> Some people are not strong enough to end it but still want it over. What are the signs that type of person would give you?


One of the things my son's ex said to him... "I no longer feel like we're best friends".... she broke up a couple weeks later.. and she was texting his friend sometimes when they were out.. he should have dumped her 1st.. but waited for her to do it..


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

farsidejunky said:


> When you can't start a thread without misspelling the title...
> 
> :grin2:


1-When she works retail
2-When she swears at construction workers who interrupt her sleep at 10am
3-When she stops cleaning in french maid or nude
4-Stops sharing her weed
5-Reminds you of Matchbox

LOL

How's life Unbe?


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## wild jade (Jun 21, 2016)

unbe said:


> Speaks volumes, and lack of respect on any level.
> 
> 
> Basically whats been going on. I have been dating someone for around 4months. Shes a pot head, never been married, 36 yr old. She has no real ambition in life either, sounds like a real catch doesn't it.
> ...


Just out of curiosity, do you ever go by her place? Honestly, it would drive me crazy to always be between homes, and what would make it worse is if I always had to go to his place and he never came to mine. 

But it also sounds like you don't think very much of her, so maybe you too would like it to end?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

unbe said:


> What signs does your SO give you that shows its time to end it.
> 
> Some people are not strong enough to end it but still want it over. What are the signs that type of person would give you?


Sort of in the same boat atm. 

SO having a tough time accepting my kids. Says she doesn't feel like a priority and gets jealous of their wanting attention. Alone with me she is fine.

Not seeing how this relationship can continue even though she is great for the most part otherwise. Had to dump my last gf because of my kids too.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

No communication
No emotional connection 
Feeling like a third wheel when out with others
Uninterested in the relationship
Prefers being on phone or computer than you


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## Tyvinjoot (Jul 13, 2017)

An immature relationship wants to know who is at fault. Mature love wants to know what is right for the relationship. Remember the golden rules "Immature people always want to win an argument even at the cost of a relationship. Mature people prefer losing an argument."

My first 2 years of relationship with my girlfriend is like heaven, but then after our wedding and we are in the same bed the nightmare begins. As we are both the Eldest members of our families we are not willing to take advice or accept advice with others, so we start an never ending debates, shouting screaming no one give up no one accept to lose and no one admits their mistakes. There is no way in a month we didn't fight.

I learn something and maybe tired of it. I still love her, and to keep things better whenever we start fighting I walk out the door and off the street walking endlessly and in my mind I shout and shout and imagine a debate with her, the reason i still keep on doing that alone is to release the stress.

And as the time goes by I am the one start leaving an argument so the pressure will not explode between us.


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## james5588 (Mar 22, 2017)

4) When the kids leave for college?


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## Tex X (May 17, 2017)

If there were a high level of interest she would be responding to your phone calls and/or texts in minutes, not days. She is no longer interested in this relationship, and is most likely already involved in another relationship. Time to move on.


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## unbe (Dec 20, 2013)

Assumptions can be a killer.....

I am still with this women. This is who she is with everyone and Im glad I stayed to discover this.

She was never seeing anyone else nor even considering it. She doesn't answer anyone including her closest and dearest friends. 

Im not saying its right. I am saying not everyone falls into the same bucket.


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