# Girlfriend pissed my kid wants a cat



## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

So Ive been dating this girl for almost 2 years. She dislikes animals. My son has been asking for a cat for 1.5 years and I finally said ok. My girlfriend is very upset, saying that she would never live with me bc I have a cat.
Has anyone ever been through this??


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Was her living with you on the agenda? Maybe she feels like her feelings deserved consideration too. 

Some people are pet people. Some people are not. Dating is a time to determine compatibility. 

C
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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

She needs to grow up, you need to do what's best for your family. 

Unless she's severely allergic I see no reason why she even cares she doesn't live with you right? 

Does she compete with your son for attention? She may be jealous, in which I reinstate my first sentiment: she needs to grow up.
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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

hey, maybe someone will be allergic to cat's & then you have an excuse to tell your kid no.

Personally, I think your child should have presidence. If you, as the parent, feel that your child has the ability to be responsible to feed the cat & change the kitty litter - then having a pet can be a very good life lesson. Gives a child another avenue for bonding, teaches responsibility and caring for something beside themselves.

No.. personally, I am NOT a cat (or dog) person. I tolerate the animals we have. However, I do realize their worth in the home.

If you girlfriend doesn't live with you... This should be a non-issue. If you had already had the cat 2 yrs ago, would she have chosen not to date you? If so, then she has some serious animal issues. Cut those strings now. ('Cuz if she gets her way... she is leading you around by the nose.)


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I respect everyone's right to be pro- or anti-pets. I'm an animal person, but I have no issue keeping my cats locked up in another room when friends come over who aren't into pets or cats.

I wouldn't get involved with someone who wasn't into animals. It would be a compatibility issue for me.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Stick with the plan. Get your son the cat he's wanted for a long time and which you agreed he could have.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

That's easy. Get the cat and say goodbye to the girlfriend. Obviously she isn't a compatible match for you and your son. Animal lovers and non-animal lovers are rarely a good fit. Yeah, I've been there as have my brothers.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Good grief, who the heck does she think she is?!?! She sounds like a huge b!tch.

I agree with 827Aug. Keep the cat and get rid of her.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

rep said:


> So Ive been dating this girl for almost 2 years. She dislikes animals. My son has been asking for a cat for 1.5 years and I finally said ok. My girlfriend is very upset, saying that she would never live with me bc I have a cat.
> Has anyone ever been through this??


I would tell her fine, don't live with me. I'm still getting the cat. Let her decide if the relationship is worth keeping with you because you're going to do what makes your son happy 1st.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Sorry your child comes before your ***** of a girlfriend! Plus there is something about someone that "dislikes animals"...that does not sit right with me.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

mablenc said:


> She needs to grow up, you need to do what's best for your family.


We're talking about a cat, not medical equipment. If your son needed a hospital bed in your house, therefore you gave him your master bedroom and your girlfriend balked, then I would say that she's being unreasonable. This is different. It's just a cat.



> Unless she's severely allergic I see no reason why she even cares she doesn't live with you right?


Perhaps she envisioned a future with the OP. Perhaps she wanted to eventually marry him and move in. And perhaps that future home together that she envisioned didn't have a box of sh!t in it.

Now, I agree that this is the time to discover incompatibilities. If your girlfriend really doesn't want pets, well she can't progress very far with you in a long-term relationship.


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## wife1981 (Jul 5, 2013)

Well, I think your gf should be a little more understanding about the situation. He's a kid, he's waited a long time for you to say yes to the cat. He wants a pet, I'd say you are doing the right thing. You're gf needs to realize your kid comes first and he's waited a long time to get one. If she's this upset about getting a cat, I'd reconsider her has a gf. This shouldn't be that big of a deal. My kid is only two. I know my husband is going to let him have pets that I won't like. But if it makes the kids happy it makes mama happy. Hope you get your kid that cat. You can't go back on your word, he'll think you picked her over him. Keep that in mind.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Get the cat and call her bluff but be pleasent about it. I think she will back down. But she may act out and be resentful. 

Have a calm talk with her and explain that you and your son are a package deal. If you back down or hesitate, she will lose a little respect for you. If she does not accept that she is wrong and attempt to like the animal, rethink the relationship. I would not let her move in unless there is a satisfactory resolution to this. It may be the harbinger of bad things to come. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

PHTlump said:


> We're talking about a cat, not medical equipment. If your son needed a hospital bed in your house, therefore you gave him your master bedroom and your girlfriend balked, then I would say that she's being unreasonable. This is different. It's just a cat.
> 
> 
> Perhaps she envisioned a future with the OP. Perhaps she wanted to eventually marry him and move in. And perhaps that future home together that she envisioned didn't have a box of sh!t in it.
> ...


She doesn't live there she can envision all she wants she should have no say in this matter. Until and if the OP askes her to move in, then she can state her opinion. That also means she has to accept that the man comes with a child. Dating someone gives you no right to dictate or get upset over the kid wanting a pet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

And it's not just a cat it's a pet, and something his son has asked for over a year meaning its important to the kid.
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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

If a minor thing like a child having a pet causes this much strife, she's not the one to get serious with. She's selfish, controlling, lacks compassion, and who knows what else. I wonder what her reaction would be to big things in life.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

827Aug said:


> If a minor thing like a child having a pet causes this much strife, she's not the one to get serious with. She's selfish, controlling, lacks compassion, and who knows what else. I wonder what her reaction would be to big things in life.


Seems controlling, I also see it as insensitive to the kid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

mablenc said:


> She doesn't live there she can envision all she wants she should have no say in this matter. Until and if the OP askes her to move in, then she can state her opinion. That also means she has to accept that the man comes with a child. Dating someone gives you no right to dictate or get upset over the kid wanting a pet.


You are absolutely correct, for a short term relationship. If the OP had said that he had been dating his girlfriend for 2 weeks, then I would agree wholeheartedly that her opinions should carry no weight.

However, he's been dating her for two years. Given her comment about moving in, it's obvious that she thought the relationship was progressing toward that end. Also, most women in a two year relationship feel comfortable enough to voice their opinions. And they should.

Now, if I'm wrong, and the OP's girlfriend is someone that he has no intention of progressing beyond the status quo with, then you are absolutely correct. She has no rights or privileges. She is nothing more than an occasional guest in his house that he sometimes buys dinner for. Her opinions should carry no weight and she should be given no consideration.

But he should make her status clear to her so that she has no illusions that she may move in, or even be his wife one day.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Rep, I read your other posts, you seem to have some problems with this girlfriend. You mention you been on and off several times. From your other posts she seems contoling. I can imagine it's hard to date after your divorce, it seems you started dating her about five months after your divorce. 

Maybe you went in too soon? Sometimes people need time to rediscover themselves after being married as long as you were. 
This seems less of a cat issue and more of a "are you happy" situation.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

Is she allergic?
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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Oh... and can I ask?...

What does your girlfriends urination problems have to do with your child wanting a pet?

(thread title)


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I could understand her feelings if your son asked for you to set him up with a meth lab but a cat? Come on friend, it's obvious that she doesn't understand that your son is number 1 in your life and until she does you'll have problems that could lead to resentment to your kid. IMHO, I would get the cat and worry about her tantrum later. It's your kid were talking about here and if she keeps up the hissy fits over a cat, then she isn't the type of woman I would want around my kid.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Plenty of other potential GF's out there, only one son. Be a man and tell her you are getting the dam cat and if she can't deal with it, there's the door. If she reluctantly agrees and makes you life hell show her the door anyway. A petty, infantile woman will make your life hell. Stop, drop and roll her out of the house. Don't call back.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

This sounds like an attempt to win a power struggle between her and your son. As was already stated, this will only get worse in the long term. If you promised your son the cat, get the cat. He should come first.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Get the cat. Also get an electric kitty litter 'box'.

This is like the one I had for years. They are wonderful. The comb mechanism combs the cat mess into a bag. Then you just throw out the bag.

LitterMaid Mega LM900


If I ever get another cat I'm going to get one like this one because it flushes out the cat mess and I'd never have to touch it or smell it.

CatGenie 120 Cat Litter Box - Self Cleaning Litter Box and Automatic Litter Box from petco.com

Her objection might be the smell and dirt from kitty litter. It's a legitimate concern. So find a way to deal with this that would show her that a cat does not have to be a pet that introduces some nasty germs into a home.

If she does not like animals, then that's a different issue that the two of you will need to settle. But I would never deprive my children of pets because of a boyfriend just not liking pets,


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