# wife's past is haunting me



## confussed62 (Oct 12, 2010)

I am married for 16 years now with two beautiful children, 16 & 14 years of age. During the time I knew my wife(GF) after I proposed to her to go steady with me she confess that she is not a virgin and been with a guy during school days her senior of two years. I excepted her and after 5 years we got married. During this five years she had told me that the guy regretted leaving her and tried to patch back with her which she declined. During this conversations he told her that his photo had appeared in the newspaper the previous day and she told me about this which I did not take it seriously either. Now after 16 years while I was researching for my project in the library I found this article. Since that day I start to question my wife how it all started when and were ? It's already three week past, my mind is not getting over this. When I got married I was 25 years old and a virgin. I feel jealous of that guy and why I did not experience the feeling doing with a virgin girl. I love my wife but when I see her I imaging he touching her and the response she had given. Please help to safe my marriage. Thanks:


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## amihappy (Oct 20, 2010)

Yeah thats a rough ****ty feeling but truth be told I gotta tell you I was with a girl for 7 years before I met my wife 23 years ago and I don't remember any of the sex in detail nor what she looked like naked. So chances are whats in your mind is just that..in your mind. But I'll be damned if it doesn't feel real as hell. I've been there. Just try and stay occupied and focus on the now before you lose it to the past. I'm in a similar situation myself right now. The past really needs to stay in the past. Good luck my friend.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Whatever this other guy had with your wife, it apparently wasn't interesting enough to cause her to marry him or have his kids. There is no contest here and no reason for you to be jealous of some loser ghost. The world is full of guys your wife could be with but she chooses every morning to be with you and to raise your kids. Congratulations!


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## confussed62 (Oct 12, 2010)

I Thank You all for the time and advice, there was and error in my post, I'm married for 17 years. I had spoken with my wife of the feelings I am having, she was not angry with me and told me that I am only feeling this way because of the photo I have seen. I know she would have been hurt during our discussion but I feel better now that this out of my mind. Thanks


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

The thing about the past is that it's exactly that: the past. If it/he was what she wanted, then she'd be with him, not you. 

Also, past experiences and relationships are what make people who they are. I would not be the woman my boyfriend loves if not for my past relationships, including my bad marriage. He would not be the man I love were it not for his past relationships. Each relationship teaches us something, even if we don't consciously know it. We then take that knowledge forward into our next relationships, and if we didn't have that knowledge, that person in the next relationship might not love us, or want us, or be attracted to us, or whatever, in quite the same way. 

So this past relationship gave her something that she brought into her relationship with you, and that something contributed in some way to you falling in love with her. Without that something, the last 17 years might have been very different. Would you want that? 

As hard as it may be, you need to let this go.


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