# Another one about not having enough sex



## bikerbob (Jul 13, 2009)

So I stumbled onto this site while trying to Google up answers for why my wife has no interest in me... so I thought I'd post.

I've been married for about 3 years, me and my wife are in our mid-twenties, we've been together since we were teenagers. We're both healthy adults. We both work full time jobs, do not have kids, and split the responsibilites (Even House cleaning!!) The only things we don't share are lawn mowing for me, and laundry for her, since we both are very particular about those tasks.... Anyway:

For the past 2 years or so, we have had sex MAYBE twice a month, and that's a generous estimate. I want more. A lot more. She does not. So we do what she wants, which is not have sex. We are "physical", we kiss, I give her back and foot rubs... But when I get turned on, it always ends up with her annoyed that I want sex. She works 8 hours a day, and says that it's selfish for me to want sex on weeknights. But on the weekends, we are either out and come home "too late to have sex", or we "need to catch up on sleep", so we can't have sex.

There are no medical or hormonal reasons to not engage in sex, no children involved. I take care of myself, I'm not a slob, I provide a nice house for us and both of our incomes give us a comfortable lifestyle. She has basically everything she wants. I buy her gifts and flowers occasionally. I cook a few nights every week. We have a perfect relationship besides the sex.

I can literally feel my sex drive slowing down... we used to fight every night when I wanted it. Then it became every few nights, now a few weekends a month we fight because I want it. I am 24 years old. I do not think this is normal.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

while i am alot older than you and my wife and i have been at it for twenty years, i am in a similar situation. unfortunately the "slowing down" you are feeling now will likely only worsen if your sex life doesnt turn around. it sounds to me like you are doing what should be enough to get what you are looking for, but apparently it isnt. thats always the confusing part.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

Can the two of you talk about it without fighting? Pick a time when there isn't any pressure for sex...away from the bedroom. Make it clear that you aren't asking for sex, just a talk. Then try to have a calm talk about it.

No blame, no finger-pointing. Try to approach it as a shared problem.


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