# "I'm So Horny"



## LuvMyLady (Apr 30, 2018)

For years my beautiful wife has denied me in the bedroom off and on. So after a long stint of rejection, I finally had had enough. Filled with hurt anger (for the 700th time) I left the bedroom, got on the computer and just started typing in "cusswords". I know, that was stupid and childish. I guess I looked at some pornography too but honestly don't remember that. Well, months later, she found out I had done it and confronted me. Instead of blaming her, I just said, "It's all my fault, it was just full of lust. I take full responsibility". Well we were lying, in bed at the time, on our backs and probably less than a minute after I said this she says "I'm SO horny", and tears her clothes off, climbs up on me.

Fast forward to today. She had rejected off and on for a few weeks and was "too tired" last night. So, I looked at some pornography today and I feel guilty. I am too afraid to volunteer and "own up to this" because I'm not sure the results would be the same. But what was it that triggered the extreme "hornyness"?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Why do you feel guilty for being frustrated at her constant refusal? How long has this been going on? My recommendation is always to a) honestly and caringly discuss the issue you have, b) reach an agreement you both adhere to, that is acceptable to you both, or c) divorce and find someone who is a better match.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Who knows what triggered the extreme horniness. It may have just been an act. It doesn't matter if your needs are never getting met. You need to talk to her about it. If she refuses or ignores you, you have your answer. Best to find someone you are more compatible with than sit around wondering why she gets hers but you are continually frustrated.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

She’s scattered a few breadcrumbs when she thought you may finally have found your backbone.And like the nice guy you are you accept them gratefully.Who knows she might have sex with you every year if your lucky.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Why are you afraid of volunteering the info? If you could learn to talk about sex directly you'll get better results than not talking about it and hoping things will change (which they won't).


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Based on my experience, there is no reason for her extreme horniness, and if you do talk to her about what caused it she will claim that she doesn't remember anything like that happening.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

LuvMyLady said:


> For years my beautiful wife has denied me in the bedroom off and on. So after a long stint of rejection,
> 
> ......Instead of blaming her, I just said, *"It's all my fault, it was just full of lust. I take full responsibility".* Well we were lying, in bed at the time, on our backs and probably *less than a minute after I said this she says "I'm SO horny"*, and tears her clothes off, climbs up on me, and it a split second she had slid herself down on me and beqan riding me. Then she climbs up to my face, puts her vagina on my mouth and continues rocking.(is this too graphic?)
> 
> Fast forward to today. She had rejected off and on for a few weeks and was "too tired" last night. So, I looked at some pornography today and I feel guilty. I am too afraid to volunteer and "own up to this" because I'm not sure the results would be the same. *But what was it that triggered the extreme "hornyness"?*


The key to "Conditioning (BF Skinner, Pavlov, etc) or positive reinforcement of desired actions is to quickly after the positive even, provide positive reinforcement and then figure out what happened.

I hope after she announced she was horny and rode you like her stallion, that you did something special with her to celebrate. If you had taken her out for a fancy date or meal you could have discussed how much she made you happy and how much you wanted to repeat that in a form that might provide her with even greater pleasure.

If all the information you have is what you posted, it was probably taking responsibility and not trying to dodge responsibility for you watching porn. I am sure the porn watching wasn't what turned her on, it was your taking responsibility, maybe her realizing she doesn't have to be a mother figure to you in trying to correct behavior she doesn't like. 

While it is a little late, you might as well sit down with her and ask her. Husbands and wives should be able to talk to each other about sex and what they need. If they can't then marriage counselors can help, but at least try talking to your W first.

Good luck.


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## davep1128 (Oct 3, 2017)

The fact that you owned up to your action. I go through this too. So I am attempting not to push or ask anymore, but I feel it would lead to other issues. Damned if you do, damned if you dont.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

One possibility is that her primitive side suddenly felt a need to win you back, to steal your interest in those other women in the fine films you were watching

I had a sexless marriage for many years. But during this period, we had one night that was probably our most passionate sex ever. It was the day she found a text message from my female high school friend confessing her long-term crush on me. After that, things went back to status quo. Mission accomplished, I suppose.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

LuvMyLady, what you are doing (porn and acting out on the Internet) will backfire in the long run.

It might help if you pushed the no sex condition into telling her you need more to stay together.

I am not suggesting you go caveman on her but I think if you read and understood what is in the book "No More Mr Nice Guy" (NMMNG)it might help your relationship. NMMNG is about NOT being co-dependent and doing what works in the long run. NMMNG is about open and honest relationships where no one is always the giver or always the taker. NMMNG is about taking responsibility in a relationship.


Buy the NMMNG book for yourself, not for your W. I was told the book was free online in a PDF file but it might take some time to find it and there are a lot of fake sites claiming to be free downloads NMMNG websites.

https://www.drglover.com/

The nice guy questionnaire
https://www.drglover.com/site/drglover/files/pdfs/nice-guy-quiz.pdf


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

No one seems to see the wierdness of the automatic cowboy ride to mustache mowing without preemption? And she STILL is a burned out lightbulb? I'm calling BullS*t. You may need to start checking her habits. Also, are you more of a blue beta type in the relationship? Does she respect your position in the household? I'm asking because of you AUTOMATICALLY apologizing for watching some porn? Really? She has the sexual compatibility of a piece of leather, and you look for relief with a quick mouse click and jerk scenario. But she is pissed? Really?


Something is off here.... What exactly do you want? How are you willing to achieve said goal?


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## LuvMyLady (Apr 30, 2018)

BarbedFenceRider said:


> No one seems to see the wierdness of the automatic cowboy ride to mustache mowing without preemption? And she STILL is a burned out lightbulb? I'm calling BullS*t. You may need to start checking her habits. Also, are you more of a *blue beta type* in the relationship? Does she respect your position in the household? I'm asking because of you AUTOMATICALLY apologizing for watching some porn? Really? She has the sexual compatibility of a piece of leather, and you look for relief with a quick mouse click and jerk scenario. But she is pissed? Really?
> 
> 
> Something is off here.... What exactly do you want? How are you willing to achieve said goal?


What is a "blue beta"?


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## BigDigg (Jan 11, 2018)

Hey OP - here's the best possibility I see based on the limited info you've shared. Might sound harsh but know that you're not alone and aren't the first guy to have this kind of problem. 

1) Your wife is probably sexually frustrated. She is likely not attracted to you sexually or there are other marriage issues causing bitterness that impacts her drive towards you. 
2) Her sudden "hornyness" (sp?) is probably less about you personally and more on the simple need to get off and scratch her itch. Hence her just jumping on, taking control and getting hers. Frankly you were likely just a warm body to her that night.

There's a lot of "blue beta" in your post. Google "Beta Bucks" or "Alpha vs. Beta male", etc. There are a lot of women that marry men that have this but find they aren't attracted or can't respect them through the course of a marriage. There are also a lot of men that develop these traits over time, sometimes conditioned so by their wives themselves. In either case it can be a deal breaker for the wives sexually even if they are relatively happily married overall in other aspects. Of course they'll never communicate this directly  Sex and intimacy will simply dry up, excuses will be common and avoidance will be pervasive. 

If I'm right - the good news is that you can potentially change over time and be the kind of man your wife desires. Starts with checking ego and trying to accept/understand and making changes.


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## LuvMyLady (Apr 30, 2018)

Handy said:


> LuvMyLady, what you are doing (porn and acting out on the Internet) will backfire in the long run.
> 
> It might help if you pushed the no sex condition into telling her you need more to stay together.
> 
> ...


Ok, I just downloaded the pdf and read some parts, skimmed over others. But he lost me when I came to the part where the author advises "healthy masturbation". Really? I have been married to my wife for over 32 years with no masturbation and I do not nor do I intend on taking it to that level. My wife is the creature God created for fulfilling that need.  I'm just seeking to find out the reason she has no sexual desire but am still puzzled as to how discovering my looking at a few girly pictures and owning up to it would make her climb all over me. And it was NOT faked: she was turned on.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

LuvMyLady said:


> Ok, I just downloaded the pdf and read some parts, skimmed over others. But he lost me when I came to the part where the author advises "healthy masturbation". Really? I have been married to my wife for over 32 years with no masturbation and I do not nor do I intend on taking it to that level. My wife is the creature God created for fulfilling that need.  I'm just seeking to find out the reason she has no sexual desire but am still puzzled as to how discovering my looking at a few girly pictures and owning up to it would make her climb all over me. And it was NOT faked: she was turned on, dripping wet and dilated, like, huge.


If you took the time to read the book, and not skim parts or just read specific chapters, you will find out some clues on what your wife needs to be turned on

Do not expect to replicate that night... just drop that expectation or idea that you can re-create it again.... She could have been horny for reasons totally unrelated to your porn viewing and just choose to mention it at that time.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

LuvMyLady said:


> Ok, I just downloaded the pdf and read some parts, skimmed over others. But he lost me when I came to the part where the author advises "healthy masturbation". Really? I have been married to my wife for over 32 years with no masturbation and I do not nor do I intend on taking it to that level. My wife is the creature God created for fulfilling that need.  I'm just seeking to find out the reason she has no sexual desire but am still puzzled as to how discovering my looking at a few girly pictures and owning up to it would make her climb all over me. And it was NOT faked: she was turned on, dripping wet and dilated, like, huge.


Two possibilities:

1) To a significant degree, a woman's sexual desire is dependent on the man's desire for her. So, maybe knowing that you had desire triggered hers.

2) She may have felt threatened by your attention to other women (real or not) and this triggered her desire to keep your desire focused on her.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

LuvMyLady said:


> Ok, I just downloaded the pdf and read some parts, skimmed over others. But he lost me when I came to the part where the author advises "healthy masturbation". Really? I have been married to my wife for over 32 years with no masturbation and I do not nor do I intend on taking it to that level. My wife is the creature God created for fulfilling that need.  I'm just seeking to find out the reason she has no sexual desire but am still puzzled as to how discovering my looking at a few girly pictures and owning up to it would make her climb all over me.


Honestly, with that pious, asexual thinking, coupled with your cowardly behavior in being afraid to tell her you watched porn, no wonder she's bored to tears with you between the sheets. I'm bored just reading this.

I see you're a Cafeteria Catholic - picking and choosing WHICH 'sins' you're willing to commit and which ones you're not willing to commit. I guess the porn 'sin' is one you're willing to overlook. You just come off so damned hypocritical when you get up on your hind legs and get all sanctimonious about masturbation and how it's beneath you, but 3 seconds later, you're telling us all about how you watched porn and how your wife climbed up on your face. 



> And it was NOT faked: she was turned on, dripping wet and dilated, like, huge.


Ewww. Really. Ewww.

Take the stick out of your ass and stop acting like Mr. Rogers. Maybe she'll find you more sexually appealing after that.


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## LuvMyLady (Apr 30, 2018)

"Picking and choosing which sins"? Actually, I am quite ashamed that I looked at porn but said I didn't want to take it to the level of "masturbation"; It's kind of like "hating" (like you're doing here)but not wanting to take it to the level of "murder". "Pious and sanctimonious" Really?? How about judgmental? You, ma'am, are the hypocrite.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

LuvMyLady said:


> "Picking and choosing which sins"? Actually, I am quite ashamed that I looked at porn but said I didn't want to take it to the level of "masturbation"; It's kind of like "hating" (like you're doing here)but not wanting to take it to the level of "murder". "Pious and sanctimonious" Really?? How about judgmental? You, ma'am, are the hypocrite.


I can see why your wife "refuses" you :grin2:


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## LuvMyLady (Apr 30, 2018)

And that warrants a smiley?
I guess that makes you hypocrite #2


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

LuvMyLady said:


> And that warrants a smiley?
> I guess that makes you hypocrite #2


I think your wife got turned on by the thought of your attention going towards someone else...attention that maybe she has taken for granted. A little jealousy can be healthy.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

The thing to perhaps take away is to let your wife know you are indeed a sexual person as part of your overall make up. And it's ok (obviously) to have sexual needs. We are all many things. 

By letting W see that part of you may be, imho is, the only way to getting back to having a (normal for you) sex life. 

If she doesn't SEE having sex is important in your idea of a good life she'll never have sex with you......this combined with your conviction (or not) to do something to have sex in your life (whatever that means to you).

You're not having enough sex in your life, that's why you're here. Or, decide to accept no sex, and move forward as you see fit. 

Fence riding gives a person a sore crotch and bad attitude.

There's much you're missing in intimacy and closeness with your W if you're not having some kind of physical relationship with her. Or not being in agreement on sex/no sex with her, in a way that suits you both. 

If unaddressed either you or her will use that or find another reason to eventually fight too much to stay together. But it will be the original reason just under the water but not talked about. It's hard but you'll have to decide or she will decide for you. 

Best of luck.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Take the stick out of your ass and stop acting like Mr. Rogers. Maybe she'll find you more sexually appealing after that.


Wait a minute, you did not think Mr. Rogers was hot?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

LuvMyLady said:


> Ok, I just downloaded the pdf and read some parts, skimmed over others. But he lost me when I came to the part where the author advises "healthy masturbation". Really? I have been married to my wife for over 32 years with no masturbation and I do not nor do I intend on taking it to that level. My wife is the creature God created for fulfilling that need.  I'm just seeking to find out the reason she has no sexual desire but am still puzzled as to how discovering my looking at a few girly pictures and owning up to it would make her climb all over me. And it was NOT faked: she was turned on, dripping wet and dilated, like, huge.


This is indeed a bit much; there are contradictions in your post ie I never did this but I do that......Apostle Paul wasn't perfect I doubt you are. 

It's the lack of closeness with your W that will cause bitterness and resentment to overwhelm your marriage. 

Fight for your marriage or don't is the summary advice. Choose. 

The folks here have seen many such circumstances and are giving honest and very practical advice.


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## LuvMyLady (Apr 30, 2018)

I apologize for being too graphic. I deleted the phrase.


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## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Honestly, with that pious, asexual thinking, coupled with your cowardly behavior in being afraid to tell her you watched porn, no wonder she's bored to tears with you between the sheets. I'm bored just reading this.
> 
> I see you're a Cafeteria Catholic - picking and choosing WHICH 'sins' you're willing to commit and which ones you're not willing to commit. I guess the porn 'sin' is one you're willing to overlook. You just come off so damned hypocritical when you get up on your hind legs and get all sanctimonious about masturbation and how it's beneath you, but 3 seconds later, you're telling us all about how you watched porn and how your wife climbed up on your face.
> 
> ...


10 characters


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## LuvMyLady (Apr 30, 2018)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is indeed a bit much; there are contradictions in your post ie I never did this but I do that......Apostle Paul wasn't perfect I doubt you are.
> 
> It's the lack of closeness with your W that will cause bitterness and resentment to overwhelm your marriage.
> 
> ...


No, you read it like it is. No contradictions. I agree about the bitterness and resentment; you hit the nail on the head there, and I appreciate the advice.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

LuvMyLady said:


> But what was it that triggered the extreme "hornyness"?


Maybe your wife thought you were someone else.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

I'm still saying something is off....You don't go from vanilla to strawberry sorbet in one fell swoop. Then back to vanilla. Did you guys have lots of "oral type" sex before? I'm gonna go out on a limb here....I'm betting not. So where did she get the idea of "climbing aboard"? Also, she has never brought up the "issue" of porn unless you got caught? Really? 

I feel she has some "hidden" things you going to be surprised to hear. And that's probably not a good thing either. I'll just leave this nugget here....


https://www.trustify.info/blog/infidelity-statistics-2017

Sorry but it is always better to go forward with eyes wide OPEN. Others will eschew the idea of this, but she is cutting you off from sex, until you get "caught" with porn. Then she turns into a porn star herself and plays ride 'em cowboy...ONCE. Then back to vanilla old maid? Not buying it.
Guilt sex, hysterical bonding, reverse blame and suspicion of cheating??? All red flags....


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## LuvMyLady (Apr 30, 2018)

BarbedFenceRider said:


> I'm still saying something is off....You don't go from vanilla to strawberry sorbet in one fell swoop. Then back to vanilla.\]
> 
> She did.
> 
> ...


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

I’m not going to dive into the religious/moral argument or try to diagnose the problems in your marriage from one little post.... I’ll just put my 2 cents in on what could be going on.

I think the porn turned her on. Maybe it was the actual porn or the idea of you watching it. Was there any kind of kinkiness to the porn? Something a little outside of your norm? 
Maybe the thought of you being “full of lust” is a turn on for her. Maybe it was when you were apologizing for “being bad”. 

My advice....turn off the lights, get naked, get in bed, and have a sexy talk about what turns you both on. Work out the “kinks”. 😉


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

LuvMyLady said:


> BarbedFenceRider said:
> 
> 
> > I'm still saying something is off....You don't go from vanilla to strawberry sorbet in one fell swoop. Then back to vanilla.\]
> ...


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

BarbedFenceRider said:


> LuvMyLady said:
> 
> 
> > BarbedFenceRider said:
> ...


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

vanilla in my book is straight missionary with limited oral or other stimulation. Maybe others view differently. Earlier OP had an addition to the post stating that she climed on his face and rode him....Maybe it was a bit different and OP took that down? Thats why I asked the question. I HEAR that he wants more opportunities for intimacy with the wifey. I HEAR that he is confused when she turns him down cold alot over the years, then goes to high speed. Then goes cold again...It just doesn't make sense.

If everything else was normal, I would say that 2 cups of coffee and a good talk about one's needs and wants in the bedroom should be a given. But with the air of the wife in a dominant position....One can only speculate as of now.


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

BarbedFenceRider said:


> vanilla in my book is straight missionary with limited oral or other stimulation. Maybe others view differently. Earlier OP had an addition to the post stating that she climed on his face and rode him....Maybe it was a bit different and OP took that down? Thats why I asked the question. I HEAR that he wants more opportunities for intimacy with the wifey. I HEAR that he is confused when she turns him down cold alot over the years, then goes to high speed. Then goes cold again...It just doesn't make sense.
> 
> If everything else was normal, I would say that 2 cups of coffee and a good talk about one's needs and wants in the bedroom should be a given. But with the air of the wife in a dominant position....One can only speculate as of now.


I see. Vanilla in my mind is sex without “kinky” elements...but I guess the word kinky can have different meanings too. Hmmm.....I don’t know how I’d explain it. Vaginal sex with limited positions (but not just missionary) and some oral. Anything else like rough sex, dirty talk, role play, anal, bondage...and lots more would be outside of “vanilla”. 

Regardless, the OP did mention in this thread that oral sex is normal for them.


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## LeananSidhe (Feb 6, 2018)

I have a unique view on this as a woman who was high drive, then low drive (due to hormonal birth control), and now back to high drive. 
When I was low drive I very, very rarely wanted sex. I could make myself do it and sometimes enjoy it but it was very rare that I would actually feel “horny”...but it did happen. Most of the times that it happened were times when my husband and I would be laying in bed late at night and having conversations about sex. So this is something I can believe could have happened with OP’s wife.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

@LuvMyLady, any updates? Did you ever talk to your wife about this?


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

LuvMyLady said:


> For years my beautiful wife has denied me in the bedroom off and on. So after a long stint of rejection, I finally had had enough. Filled with hurt anger (for the 700th time) I left the bedroom, got on the computer and just started typing in "cusswords". I know, that was stupid and childish. I guess I looked at some pornography too but honestly don't remember that. Well, months later, she found out I had done it and confronted me. Instead of blaming her, I just said, "It's all my fault, it was just full of lust. I take full responsibility". Well we were lying, in bed at the time, on our backs and probably less than a minute after I said this she says "I'm SO horny", and tears her clothes off, climbs up on me.
> 
> Fast forward to today. She had rejected off and on for a few weeks and was "too tired" last night. So, I looked at some pornography today and I feel guilty. I am too afraid to volunteer and "own up to this" because I'm not sure the results would be the same. But what was it that triggered the extreme "hornyness"?


Whatever the case, your methods are not sustainable. Sex in the house needs to be sustainable, so you need to sit down and discuss several things
1 Why does she say no when you want some? 
2 Why do you not know what caused her to rip her clothes of that first day. You should have discussed it by now.
3 3 Might she want o watch porn with you? 
4 For sex, might it be that she does not like it in the bedroom? Have you tried the stair case or living room or kitchen or bathroom floor? 
5 Might she like a man who apologises for what he has not done wrong? Why would that be? Did her dad use to do that? 

Sex needs to fun for both so find out what is fun for her.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Yes, you are being a hypocrite, a coward, and basically a weak beta man hiding your weakness underneath religious precepts.

You only want to hear what you want to hear to protect your fragile small ego, and to validate your reasons for being a doormat.

If instead of paying attention as to what people in this forum are telling you, and not trying to dismiss with false pride what we are seeing based on posts, a whole lot of good could come your way.

Basically, you need to grow your balls, and act more like a man and not like some timid mouse with your wife.


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## MichelleThoughts (Jun 24, 2018)

She was probably sexually aroused by the fact that you were so sexually frustrated that you looked at porn. And she was feeling jealous of the women that you were watching, wanting to prove to you that she is hotter and more sexy than them. 

Aside from that though, I am amazed at how some of the husbands on here react to the repeated sexual rejections of their wives. It is so very passive. I feel like, when she rejects you, you should just hold her down and have your way with her and see if she likes that  I really like it when my husband is sexually forward with me, although at the same time, I don't know if all women are into that. (My hunch is that most are). Also, even my husband had this issue of sexual rejection with his very brief first marriage, but he left her.

Have you tried being more sexually forward with her, at least? Or do you just say "okay" every time she rejects you like you don't have a sex drive?


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

MichelleThoughts said:


> She was probably sexually aroused by the fact that you were so sexually frustrated that you looked at porn. And she was feeling jealous of the women that you were watching, wanting to prove to you that she is hotter and more sexy than them.
> 
> Aside from that though, I am amazed at how some of the husbands on here react to the repeated sexual rejections of their wives. It is so very passive. I feel like, when she rejects you, you should just hold her down and have your way with her and see if she likes that  I really like it when my husband is sexually forward with me, although at the same time, I don't know if all women are into that. (My hunch is that most are). Also, even my husband had this issue of sexual rejection with his very brief first marriage, but he left her.
> 
> Have you tried being more sexually forward with her, at least? Or do you just say "okay" every time she rejects you like you don't have a sex drive?


And here is the dilemma for modern men. Were he to "just hold her down and have his way with her" most women (as well as the police and court system) would come down on him like a ton of bricks. I am not saying I disagree with you, just that such action could prompltly land a man in jail in today's "MeToo" world.

I experienced similar rejection in my marriage. Heck I had enough "rain checks" to paper the whole house several time over. Just taking what you want is not always the answer.


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## MichelleThoughts (Jun 24, 2018)

Ynot said:


> And here is the dilemma for modern men. Were he to "just hold her down and have his way with her" most women (as well as the police and court system) would come down on him like a ton of bricks. I am not saying I disagree with you, just that such action could prompltly land a man in jail in today's "MeToo" world.
> 
> I experienced similar rejection in my marriage. Heck I had enough "rain checks" to paper the whole house several time over. Just taking what you want is not always the answer.


Actually I was just going to get back on here and edit my post because of this reason. I'm not saying rape her, although I agree that this is a situation that makes things tricky these days. I am not lying when I say that many women are into sexually dominant men. But the whole concept of marital rape makes it a tough one.

My husband knows with me that I am into that, as long as it is not too much. He reads my cues, you could say. This didn't work with his first wife at all. I even asked him why he didn't do this with her, and he said she wouldn't have tolerated it. But with me, and from when I have heard or observed or read from other women, many women desire to be truly needed, like his sexual energy is just so strong he can't help himself, even if she doesn't seem into it at first, and the wife finds it quite fun.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

MichelleThoughts said:


> Actually I was just going to get back on here and edit my post because of this reason. I'm not saying rape her, although I agree that this is a situation that makes things tricky these days. I am not lying when I say that many women are into sexually dominant men. But the whole concept of marital rape makes it a tough one.
> 
> My husband knows with me that I am into that, as long as it is not too much. He reads my cues, you could say. This didn't work with his first wife at all. I even asked him why he didn't do this with her, and he said she wouldn't have tolerated it. But with me, and from when I have heard or observed or read from other women, many women desire to be truly needed, like his sexual energy is just so strong he can't help himself, and the wife finds it quite fun.


I understand. Since my divorce I have dated women who have basically said "my default is yes, so whenever you want I down for it". I have had some of the most intense and pleasurable sexual experiences since my divorce. But in every case I had had a discussion about it first (not immediately before the experience but at some point prior). My ex never talked about sex, was turned off by nudity, and generally very vanilla.


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## happiness27 (Nov 14, 2012)

I had to chuckle at this because sometimes all it takes is for my husband to be blatantly honest and say "I'm horny" and I'm like "So am I" - cause I just get tired of the psycho-babble and just want to get it on. Sometimes he gets a HO and I'm like "I want some of that" - that uncomplicated stuff can be a welcome relief.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

happiness27 said:


> I had to chuckle at this because sometimes all it takes is for my husband to be blatantly honest and say "I'm horny" and I'm like "So am I" - cause I just get tired of the psycho-babble and just want to get it on. Sometimes he gets a HO and I'm like "I want some of that" - that uncomplicated stuff can be a welcome relief.


This is what a healthy sex life is all about,straightforward and uncomplicated. When we’re both at home I often send a text to my gf and she does the same.
“Wanna ****”


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Andy1001 said:


> This is what a healthy sex life is all about,straightforward and uncomplicated. When we’re both at home I often send a text to my gf and she does the same.
> “Wanna ****”


I agree. It shouldn't be all that difficult to get sex with the person that is supposed to love you and want you more than anyone. Yet some people make sex so difficult. I wouldn't stay with such a person. It would be pointless.


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