# More fun with sex



## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

Husband and I have been married for several years now and have always had a decent sex life I'd say. But lately it just seems dull and monotonous and I want to have more fun with it. I'd love for him to "do things" to me that are a little more in the wild side so to speak. I just don't know how to communicate to him what I want regarding this, I guess I'd feel awkward doing so. I've asked him if he has any sexual fantasies that he'd want to act out with me but he says he doesn't. He's a guy!! What guy doesn't have sexual fantasies lol?? We are just stuck in a rut and I want to make it more fun. I don't do the naughty outfit deal and we do have a few vibrators but that's about it. I'd also love for him to give me oral because I do do it for him on occasion which I don't care for too much but I do because I know he likes it. He has only returned the favor like once maybe twice, and says its just not his thing and he thinks it tastes weird. Now I'm a very clean person and I keep clean down there as well so I don't get what he's talking about with that. Advice please?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Your H doesn't sound like a very sexual person.

Your options are to be more sexual yourself, even though he might not rise to the challenge...

Or...drag him into some more open and honest discussions about it. Don't just ask "tell me your fantasies" and then drop the subject when he doesn't have any. Instead, explain that you want to bring up the heat in the bedroom and want to brainstorm ideas for this. Just having a direct conversation to find ideas together can be really fun and sexy.

Do you two watch porn? Watching it together can be fun.

As for the oral...that's a bummer but what about helping him learn how to give you a hand job? That can be a fun project to work on together.


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## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

We do watch porn together on occasion but maybe we need to find better stuff or a better place to get it from cuz the stuff we have is just so fake to me. Do you have any good recommendations for some really good porn? He says I give good hand jobs but I can always have him help me to make it better. I can only hope that he would be interested in the brainstorming session. I will definitely bring that up. Thank you


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

No I meant, you can teach him how to give YOU a hand job, since he doesn't like giving oral.

As for porn...where I live there are tons of shops (that aren't too sleazy). We go shopping together and find things that look fun for both of us. Do you have stores with a good selection? We don't like finding it online because I just don't want to run files like that through my computer.

You mentioned you don't do the naughty outfit deal. Why not? Can you do a classy sexy girl out deal instead of naughty?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My husband's sexual fantasies are tamer than mine.... some men are like this... but He's always loved eating at the Y.....back in the day I used to push his head away from there...when I wasn't comfortable with it..... yours is in the minority here ... I wonder if he has some "dirty" hang ups? 

In our case, I was the one who got wild...and Upped the creativity, novelty, dressing up, new positions, new places...more overt flirting.. groping... 

Gotta do what a girls gotta do -whoever is wanting the Exta Spice & Eroticism...(in this case YOU)...is going to have to take the bull by the horns, rile him up and take him for a new ride... 



20 spicings ….



> *1.* Endless sex positions Sex Positions Guide
> 
> *2*. Sex Games.... ever stroll into a Spencers store in the Mall -lots of inspiration there >> Get sexy at Spencer
> 
> ...





> 1. *Pretend you just met him*
> "When our sex life started to slow down, I started thinking about how another woman would see my husband if she just met him -- and this made me want to impress him. I did things like buying new lingerie, getting up just a little earlier than usual to join him in the shower or making time to play later in the tub. We totally rediscovered each other's sexiness after that."
> 
> 2. *Tease each other*
> ...


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## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

Faithful Wife: ahh ok I misunderstood you. He will occasionally do some things with his hands for me but somehow doesn't understand when I give him more detailed descriptions, guess ill have to get more in depth haha. And the store we've gone to doesn't seem to have the best porn selection though where we live there are many adult stores, we'd just have to check them out. As for the outfits I think that I would feel silly in most of them. I do like your suggestion of a more sexy vs naughty type one so maybe that will help me.

SimplyAmorous: I will definitely check all that stuff out, it looks amazingly helpful. Thank you!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

AFwifey said:


> We do watch porn together on occasion but maybe we need to find better stuff or a better place to get it from cuz the stuff we have is just so fake to me. Do you have any good recommendations for some really good porn? He says I give good hand jobs but I can always have him help me to make it better. I can only hope that he would be interested in the brainstorming session. I will definitely bring that up. Thank you


We used to rent from BlueDoor.com but they changed it to Adult DVD Universe...they have an endless variety, it did cost about $18 a month for unlimited....you can find Romantic porn, PlayGIRL...(I enjoyed those)....Hands on Instructional videos.... alot of hit or miss though, you can never tell by the looks of the DVD cover, eventually I learned which studios I preferred....We only cared for softer porn.. 

Great list here >> Loving Sex Instructional DVDs for Couples....

I never bought these.... but I rented a good # of them.

This is a great book for the woman > Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man:

And this is great for him >> She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman:


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## Topical storm (Mar 30, 2013)

AFwifey said:


> Husband and I have been married for several years now and have always had a decent sex life I'd say. But lately it just seems dull and monotonous and I want to have more fun with it. I'd love for him to "do things" to me that are a little more in the wild side so to speak. I just don't know how to communicate to him what I want regarding this, I guess I'd feel awkward doing so. I've asked him if he has any sexual fantasies that he'd want to act out with me but he says he doesn't. He's a guy!! What guy doesn't have sexual fantasies lol?? We are just stuck in a rut and I want to make it more fun. I don't do the naughty outfit deal and we do have a few vibrators but that's about it. I'd also love for him to give me oral because I do do it for him on occasion which I don't care for too much but I do because I know he likes it. He has only returned the favor like once maybe twice, and says its just not his thing and he thinks it tastes weird. Now I'm a very clean person and I keep clean down there as well so I don't get what he's talking about with that. Advice please?


If he doesn't give like to give you oral, then why are you giving him oral? I thought marriage is about sacrifice. He should take one for the team. If I were you I would stop with servicing him.

What does he mean it tastes weird? How old is he 17? If you keep it clean then he shouldn't have a problem. 

Sounds like he is not that experienced. Are you having back breaking sex? After sex are you walking out sore for days? Is he aggressive or just mild and meek? Bored and monotonous sex are code words for bad sexual skills. You said it was "decent" but you're probably just giving him the benefit of the doubt, because he might treat you well. But when women come on the internet to complain or complain in real life about their husbands sex game, usually it is code red.


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## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

I guess I say decent because yeah it does feel good but I almost never orgasm from it at the same time. In order for me to get to that point I have to use a vibrator or something. He will occasionally say he wants to "pound me" and then he will go hard for a minute or so but he doesn't do much else. I'm not sure what he means by it tastes weird to be honest. I give it to him because I know he likes it but maybe if I stop doing it he will get the hint?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Take the word "hint" out of your sexual language ENTIRELY. Do not ever expect your lover to "take a hint". It just doesn't work that way. And expecting each other to "get the hint" causes an air of "I'm too immature to actually state my needs out loud", which is very un-sexy.

To get to a better place in your sex life, please begin by making a pledge to yourself that you will learn how to have better, DIRECT communication. He is your husband, after all. Try to see your married sex life as something that should be easy and light to talk about. Even if it isn't right now, begin believing that it should be.


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## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

I completely understand what you are saying. I definitely will work on having better communication when it comes to my sexual needs and wants.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

:smthumbup:


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

He thinks it tastes weird??!

It tastes great! I'll have to look at the book tonight but I bought a book that has tons of ideas for spicing up sex. It has an invitation portion that you give to your partner and then instructions for you in what to do. There is a section for men and for women.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *AFwifey said:* I completely understand what you are saying. I definitely will work on having better communication when it comes to my sexual needs and wants.


Yes, Communication, Communication, some teasing, flirting, and more Communication...

We missed a truck load cause we didn't talk about .... because I always orgasmed & it was so good.... we never tried anything NEW ! ...2 positions for 19 yrs... It's the most ridiculous thing ever...

Looking back... I think we might have been better off if I  wasn't satisfied so we opened up the dialog and tried more ... *EVERYTHING*! 

If you are young, don't make the silly mistakes we did in being too quiet about SEX. No finer & more enjoyable subject under the sun.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Found it...

52 Invitations To Grrreat Sex: It All Begins with a Lick: Laura Corn: 9780974259918: Amazon.com: Books


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## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

Thank you all


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

AFwifey said:


> Husband and I have been married for several years now and have always had a decent sex life I'd say. But lately it just seems dull and monotonous and I want to have more fun with it. I'd love for him to "do things" to me that are a little more in the wild side so to speak. I just don't know how to communicate to him what I want regarding this, I guess I'd feel awkward doing so. I've asked him if he has any sexual fantasies that he'd want to act out with me but he says he doesn't. He's a guy!! What guy doesn't have sexual fantasies lol?? We are just stuck in a rut and I want to make it more fun. I don't do the naughty outfit deal and we do have a few vibrators but that's about it. I'd also love for him to give me oral because I do do it for him on occasion which I don't care for too much but I do because I know he likes it. He has only returned the favor like once maybe twice, and says its just not his thing and he thinks it tastes weird. Now I'm a very clean person and I keep clean down there as well so I don't get what he's talking about with that. Advice please?


Most guys would think if you asked about fantasies that it was a **** test. So the smart answer for the guy is exactly what her told you. He has them! You just have to figure out how to make him feel safe to tell you. He has to know without a doubt that it is not going to make you feel insecure or catty or whatever. If you feel awkward telling him he will sense that. Don't expect him to reveal that to you until you open up completely yourself. Try leading by example and tell him some of yours. Once you reveal some of your kinky thoughts he may feel safer to give you one.


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## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

I've tried getting as detailed as possible with him and he just looks at me like what the heck? I can keep trying tho


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Sometimes overt discussion is awkward. Why not try printing two copies of various erotic literature, there is a good site which I could point you to if you PM me. Read the same stories and put them into piles according to how much they turn you on. That way you get to express your likes without having to come out and say it. 

It worked well for my wife and I. It may give you both some new ideas.


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## AFwifey (Apr 26, 2013)

PM sent to you


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