# What should I do?



## Confusedme5 (Dec 19, 2010)

I have another thread here that tells more about my situation but here is a brief summary:

H asked for a divorce 3 months ago, he has been dragging his feet when it comes to getting the process started. I don't want this divorce. He has said he doesn't intend to file any time soon but wont give me a reason why and just says he needs more time to think, basically putting me in limbo. (I am 110% sure there is no one else) He was supposed to contact me after he got back from a trip visiting family. It's been a few days and I have not heard from him except for one email regarding bills. How long should I wait before I contact him? I don't want to push him away but I am dying for some information.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

I really think, that at this point, you need to sit down and have a heart to heart. Say things that haven't been said, get it all out. It sounds like there are a lot of unknowns. Ask him what he wants and why. And if he is saying he wants a divorce, why is he dragging his feet? The good thing about couples that argue is that they are communicating things, albeit not always in the most positive way. It really does sound like something else is going on here, maybe another person, maybe a coworker just showing him attention. I would be the proactive one here, and tell him you need to talk. Maybe he wants to see where you stand and if you'll fight for him. It's so hard to tell based on what little he has told you. It isn't fair either way. You need to get on with your life, whether it be with him or not. My H had a hard time understanding that couples go through these things. The good thing about being married and falling out of love is that the marriage bond keeps you together until you fall in love again. I don't know if your relationship is salvageable, but it doesn't sound like you both want a divorce. If he isn't open to counseling, you've got to talk. You made vows. Did only one of you mean them?


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