# A letter of Thanks.....please help me out !!



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

My husband and our 2 kids are going to spend Thanksgiving together even though he asked for divorce 2 1/2 months ago.

I've been working hard on making the changes that should've been made years ago....

Now I was thinking about writing him a letter of thanks and gratitude of what he's done for me and the family for those almost 11 years....

Not so much because I want him back, but mainly because it's been long overdue.....he felt unappreciated, not respected and taken for granted......and I think it would be a good time to write this letter....

Would you like it if your wife wrote you a letter like this and if so, what would you want to read in it....what would really speak to your heart ?!?!

Please help me....this is my one last attempt to show him I've changed !!!!!


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Take responsibility for what you need to take responsibility for. Praise him for what you truly believe he should be praised for.

I guess what I'm saying is make sure what you say is real.

I wouldn't ask him for anything in the way of changes to the arc of your relationship - it will diminish the point of the letter.

Also recommend keeping it relatively brief. If you need to write a long letter, do so. It will be cathartic for you. But keep what you give him relatively brief and to the point.


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

D&A,

One thing to remember.

Quit apologizing for stuff you've already apologized for and have addressed - not matter HOW MANY TIMES you hear about it.

That will help keep the letter under a paragraph.


----------



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Thanks so much you two !!!!

I will not apologize again in the letter, just acknowledge all the things he's done for us and that make him this great person....

He's made up his mind about our marriage anyway so there's no turning back for him....

I've decided to let him go, even if I have some weak moments where I question his behavior and analyze it.....

This letter will be free from begging and apologizing !!!!!

Thanks again !!!!!!


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

There is something truly liberating in doing what you need to do, and saying what you need to say ... all for your own growth.

My trip lasted nearly two years.

Maybe by ending your marriage now, you pave the way for something far more positive and emotionally healthy for the both of you - whether you find your way back to one another, or with someone new.

If the foundation is broken, sometimes you are better served by tearing it down and building a newer, better, stronger one.

I understand that you are in pain, and that you don't want this outcome. But you will get through it. It will make you stronger than you are right now, and better equipped to face the joys and challenges that your life will undoubtedly present you with in the future.

I wish you the best.


----------

