# book suggestions please



## StrandedinCA (Oct 14, 2013)

As I'm looking at Amazon and Walden books, I am overwhelmed w/ the options:scratchhead:. So, looking for suggestions from y'all. I'm needing guidance for a crumbling, fairly new marriage 
(2.5yrs). Step kid issues, my own insecurities are an issue, lack of communication issues (BOTH sides)....hurtful things get said and then we are two very stubborn people who just give the silent treatment, and neither will pour out a sensitive side. Oh, and we have done marriage counseling, but he doesn't believe in it, and it has done more harm than good... I've been pushed so far I said I am now moving out, don't really want to, but put my foot in mouth and don't know how to fix things. And he sure as hell wont set his pride aside and tell me not to go....even got as far as discussing splitting up debt responsibilities that we share....
so, with that little bit of background, what books have you read that have helped change your life for the better??? I need to order it ASAP as I am falling apart! :'(


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## Kolors (Sep 27, 2013)

I just blew through His Needs, Her Needs as well as the Five Love Languages. Both offered some insights into what was going wrong around my home.


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## StrandedinCA (Oct 14, 2013)

thx! Is there help w/ FIXING what is wrong? I think I'm getting a grasp on what is going wrong, but I am just lost at how to fix my marriage, and ME.


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## Kolors (Sep 27, 2013)

There is help with fixing yourself and seeing what is truly wrong as well as how to better communicate between each other.

I saw your other thread and have not had any reading when it comes to dealing with the problems brought on by a partners children but communication in a relationship is really key to identifying and working out problems.


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## Kolors (Sep 27, 2013)

Also, you cannot do it all at once! Love you then love him.


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## StrandedinCA (Oct 14, 2013)

the big problem is I love him and myself....just not his kids. They are very nasty to me and pushed me away little by little in 3 years. And now that I told him about that, all hell has broken loose :-(


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

You could start exploring here Blended Families #1 and Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts


Amazon.com: His Needs, Her Needs: 

Amazon.com: Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits That Destroy Romantic Love 

You do understand you both need guidance at this point (family therapy). Don't settle for one that doesn't work for your needs. Interview them and find one that you feel can help with your problem. Ask them about their methods and what they can do for you. One that can give you a plan to follow. MFT accredited. You'll need to go yourself if he won't.


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## StrandedinCA (Oct 14, 2013)

Just ordered His Needs, Her Needs and the 5 languages of Love. Also sent the blended families link to my husband, letting him know I haven't just turned my back on him, that I am trying to find a fix....


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

StrandedinCA said:


> thx! Is there help w/ FIXING what is wrong? I think I'm getting a grasp on what is going wrong, but I am just lost at how to fix my marriage, and ME.


Well, you cannot fix it by yourself. You BOTH have to commit. I read your other thread, and WOW what a mess. Personally, I would leave...with two horrible ex wives turning their kids into horrible little people, and your husband not being supportive of you, what is there to stay for? Give the books a read, then approach your husband with what you have learned and ask if he would work with you. If he wont, then at least you tried.


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