# Preparing for Separation, and moving forward



## gdtm0111 (Oct 15, 2012)

It's been a few years since I've posted. in 2014/2015 we had gone thru a separation and she quickly got back together with her affair partner from 2012 - though there's an obvious question as to whether or not the affair ended. At the end of 2015 we start talking again and reconciled ..... cause I must be a fool.

There's a lot more that's been going on in the last 4 years, but here we are today, Nov 23rd, 2019. I've been moved out into my own place for a week now since Saturday Nov 16th. I get my son tomorrow for the week, then she is on work travel for most of her week (Dec 2-4) and then a concert the following weekend (Dec 7-8).

So what does it take to separate - if you are able to go thru a Mediator, it's not all that bad. We were able to figure out everything before hand, and work together on an agreeable plan.

During this time, I had to come up with my own budget plan and determine how much rent $ I could afford as well as a budgeted list of my apartment furnishing needs. Fortunately, I was able to take a loan against my 401K account. I began making a spreadsheet of everything I needed based on the rooms: Living room, Kitchen, my bedroom, my son's bedroom, and bathroom. I accounted for everything in each room, other than any kind of decor. I used Facebook Marketplace to find some furniture - coffee & end table, kitchen table & chairs, night stand and dresser for my son's room. Worst case, I could have found a deal on a couch, however with hygiene issues I felt it was better to buy new.

I reviewed several items on Google searches first, looking for the "Best of xyz for the money"
Here are a few stores that I found deals on:
Amazon - of course this was where I started, and created an Apt Furnishings list
IKEA - couch, bed & frame for 2nd bedroom, and some misc stuff
Bed Bath & Beyond - some things I would spend a little extra to get quality items that would last (curtains, pots/pans, knife set, etc)
Home Depot - microwave and other misc items
At Home or Home Goods
TJ Maxx

Spreadsheet attachments aren't allowed, so if you want a full copy, PM me and I'll send it to you.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Nice of you to share this for others. I hope things go as well as possible and that you have lots of happiness in your future, for you and your son.


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