# We are trying to concieve!



## MrsSchaffer (Jun 6, 2009)

I am so happy right now! My husband and I are officially trying to get pregnant. Being a young mom is important to me, and we are hoping that we will get pregnant soon! I am just afraid that it won't happen fast enough!:smthumbup:


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

how old are you? and why do you have to be a "young" mother?

My mother had me when she was 39, I don't think it made any difference.

a good parent is a good parent. I hope you both ahve a good job, financially stable, etc.

just having a baby because you want one is not exactly a smart idea, babies cost alot of money over the years.


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## MrsSchaffer (Jun 6, 2009)

GAsoccerman said:


> how old are you? and why do you have to be a "young" mother?
> 
> My mother had me when she was 39, I don't think it made any difference.
> 
> ...


I am going to be 21 in less than 2 months. I want to be a young mother for numerous reasons. I want to be able to relate to my children, keep up with them, and enjoy their adulthood and children while I am still young. I was born to a 24 year old mother, and we were closer than many people I know who were born to older parents, and I have seen it many times. It is simply something that is important to me. I am not having a child just because I want one. I am capable of having a child, and raising it for the next 21 years or more. There is nothing about my situation that would make it, "not a smart idea"

I hate how everyone on here loves to judge based on age. You don't have to be 30 or 40 years old to be stable. If we weren't financially stable with good jobs, we wouldn't be considering trying to conceive. We are mature, responsible adults, who are ready to start a family together. We are probably more capable of raising a child than someone twice our age. I feel sorry for someone who doubts another person for anything, just because they state they are young. 

Just because it isn't something everyone can do, doesn't mean that we cannot do it.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Do as you wish, I jsut want you to think it through. I mean at 21 I was occupied with College life and finally being able to go to the clubs with my friends and drink legally, I was enjoying the college life with good friends sowing my wild oates. My wife was the same way, we actually met when I was 20 she was 19. Our goal was to finish our education and get our careers going. We dated 7 years, been married for 13, so together 20 years.

We had our first child when I was 28 she was 27. We were able to enjoy our "youth" by traveling and doing exciting things together. I drove across country for 8 months, I was in the military, I finished college, having children would ahve made all those things very difficult.

We have three wonderful kids now, I coach two of their soccer teams, I also play soccer. We run the girl scouts out of our house and we do alot of traveling with our children, mostly driving and cruises, because flying 5 people is very expensive, just to fly to NYC would run us a $1000 easily, our average vacation costs us $5,000 a pop average $1000 per person per week. I mean Day care, food, housing, cars, books, toys, etc all cost a whole lot of money, they say we will spen on average $250,000 per child. I believe it.

I dunno, being 39 and father of three, I feel I am at a good age for my children, I have a solid career, a strong 401K, a large house, 2 cars,, we are able to go on 2 vacations per year. My goals were to have a family, but alos to provide a good life for them, so I made sure I had my education, degree's in place before starting our little family.

I am sure you will be a very loving mother, but it's tough, really tough, no more nights out, screaming, late night feeding sessions, you just can't do anything you want anymore, you have a little person that needs you.

I grew up in the North East in a middle class suburban neighborhood, we were groomed to have children later in life, we placed our personal lives first and especially our education, just the way I am programmed.

Once I moved to Georgia we were shocked and other people were equally shocked, that we were in our mid-thirties with three small children (under 10) and we were on our first marriage. I can't tell you how many couples we met that were our age and on their THIRD or FOURTH marriage, they couldn't handle the stress of married life with a infant or the responsibility of it.

Life is tough, it's not easy, everyone will struggle, maturity is not a number it is a state of mind and being responsible.

I just hope you're ready and so is your husband, because if you're not? well you can't rewind....just read the board...plenty of people have issues, some early in marriage, some much later, no one is immune, every marriage has ups and downs...there is no such thing as Happily ever after....Marriage is hard work, parenting is even harder and no one is ever ready, simply they survive and adjust to raising a little person the best they can.

One child was easy, two children not to bad...three....forget it you are treading water and being pulled under...lol 

Best of luck, my opinion means nothing in your world, but for your child's sake, I hope you BOTH are ready for this wild adventure, because once it starts...well...good luck


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## MrsSchaffer (Jun 6, 2009)

My husband and I have been out of college for over a year now. We have done TONS of traveling, and he has no intention of ever being in the military. We still have our fun, and we have never been into partying. Having a child isn't going to cause us to miss out on anything.
My husband and I have solid careers, 3 cars, and are about to buy a fourth, a brand new house, a very large house. Four bedrooms, with plenty of room for children on the acre it sits on. We have been on 3 cruises in the year and a half that we have been married... What you are not understanding is that we have our degrees, and finances in place. Just because you didn't at our age, doesn't mean that we cannot. 
I was raised with the belief that family always came first. Yes, you are important, but you should always think of others above yourself. It groomed me to be a very successful person.

We don't care what other people could or could not handle. We are ready for marriage and an infant. If we weren't, we wouldn't have gotten married, and wouldn't be trying to have a baby.

Just because you weren't ready, doesn't mean that we are not. We have both been through so much, and some of it together. We have a strong marriage, and a strong will to be parents. We went into this for life, divorce was never an option. We are perfect together, and can always work thins out. Having a child is the next step in our lives and we are more than ready to take that step.

We aren't taking this lightly. We have been talking about children since we got engaged. We have waited a year and a half into our marriage to start trying for kids. We will have spent probably close to, if not 2.5 years as a married couple before adding kids into the equation. We have thought this through, and it is what we are going to do. Our family and friends are all very supportive, and they know how we are as a couple. They know we are mature enough to handle this and that we are going to be great parents that are fully able to provide for their children. Not only finanically but emotionally. We aren't your average young adults. Things in our lives have caused us to grow up faster than most, and we are ready for life and what comes with it. We have a lot of money in the bank, a beautiful home that we hope to move into before the end of this month, and the mind set to be great parents. I work with kids all day, 6 days a week. I know what comes when you have a child.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

well best of luck then...


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## 20yrs (Sep 18, 2009)

have fun 

I had my first when I was 20 - and my fifth when I was 31... now our youngest is 9 and before we know it the nest will be empty again, but the cool thing is that it will be empty while we are still young enought o enjoy it.

I am looking forward to it.... go for it, start your family while you are young.


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## shelleyv (Aug 13, 2009)

Being a mother is a HUGE responsibility. If I had my daughter when I was your age I would definately not have coped. You will fall pregnant when it is meant to be. Dont get dispondent if it doesnt happen that quickly, your body will know when it is ready. We tried for 3 years. If you get all down about it, it will take longer. So just relax and let nature take its course. Good luck!


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## MrsSchaffer (Jun 6, 2009)

shelleyv said:


> Being a mother is a HUGE responsibility. If I had my daughter when I was your age I would definately not have coped. You will fall pregnant when it is meant to be. Dont get dispondent if it doesnt happen that quickly, your body will know when it is ready. We tried for 3 years. If you get all down about it, it will take longer. So just relax and let nature take its course. Good luck!


I am aware of the responsibility of being a mother. I have watched friends and family struggle and succeed. Just because you wouldn't have been able to cope, doesn't mean that I will not. I am more well suited for a child than most people my age. I am on my own, married, not on government assistance, great job, out of school. I am in the right point, and mentality in life to have a child. I don't believe in the whole, it will happen when it is meant to. That is a crock of **** in my opinion. You have to make your own luck in this world or you will fail. My body is ready. If it wasn't ready, I would be producing eggs, or having a menses. Nature can only do so much. I have wanted a child since I was 18 years old when my husband and I got engaged. We waited for quite sometime before trying to conceive and I don't to wait any longer. I have an appointment on Thursday to either find out if I am pregnant, or be put on Clomid.


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