# what is this behaviour?



## kipper (Jan 12, 2011)

I am so at the end of my rope with this man. 

So we bought this house, great area, run down and we were going to fix it up. Then on closing I lost my job, laid off. So that was 2 years ago and I've been paying for stuff from my savings and begging him to fix it up. He will not be pushed, and he will not contribute more to the finances than what we agreed to when I was working, and his share is 40% of the total costs, and that's the truth...I wanted the house and he said that was ALL he was prepared to pay towards it. 

Why won't he let me hire someone? Why won't he do it himself if he won't let me hire someone. He's done this before, he'll try to do the work of the hired help I pay for myself to finish off the work he was supposed to...and he may have tons of other things he can focus on instead. Its illogical. Yes I rode him hard over the last year, but damn its not a game. If we don't finish and sell, the Bank will do it for us and we won't get our money back out of it, vs. having a chance at a profit. Seems fairly straightforward to me. I'm not sure I want to stay with him after this anyway, its just so stressful and he's not much of a partner. He's rude & disrespectful and I find my feelings for him are indifferent even when he's in a good mood. I'm not happy anymore. What should I do? I have no kids, I feel like taking my share of the sale (less by a huge margin than what I contributed) and go and live in the woods with my dog, kayak and bike.


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## kipper (Jan 12, 2011)

I'm such a whiner. Sorry. But I feel better having vented. Thanks!


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Are you stuck without his help? Sometimes, when you're working hard, it can make him feel like a heel if he isn't. My wife and I are on our third fixer upper. I do the sheet rock, while she does the finishing treatments and painting. I lay tile, while she does grouting and sealing. She lays out the board pattern when I do hardwood flooring. I run the electrical wires, but only after she touches it to make sure the power is really off (just kidding on that last one).

When she thinks I'm delaying, she asks me if its time to hire a real man to do the job. That usually does the trick. Still, we split almost every aspect of it. Its the only hobby we've found that we can share. Just remember, a paint fight might seem like a playful prelude to sex, but only until its time to wash it off. Especially primer.


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## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

HMMM, I have had some experience in this as well. You wanna know how to get more work out of a man? It really is simple.

JUMP HIS BONES EVERY DAY!

Seriously, I lose interest in keeping my wife happy if she isn't interested in keeping me happy, and most men will up the ante and do more when he is getting this royal treatment. DO NOT tell him why you are doing it, just mention what you want done the next day, have yourself a humdinger, watch his progress the next day, and repeat until the job is finished. SIMPLE!

You would be surprised by how much a man can move when he *ahem* isn't carrying THAT extra load.

Try it for a weekend or a week, test the theory and let us know the results.


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## castingabout (Mar 22, 2011)

Mephisto said:


> HMMM, I have had some experience in this as well. You wanna know how to get more work out of a man? It really is simple.
> 
> JUMP HIS BONES EVERY DAY!
> 
> ...


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## luckyman (Apr 14, 2011)

I'm a little disappointed in the posts to your thread, Kipper. I don't think giving him more sex is the key here. I think that if you re-read your original post, you will see that you have answered your own question...it sounds like you are ready to move on.


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