# Another player confession!!



## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I found this post on reddit. It is a more personal story than the one chapparal posts




> You know that uneasy feeling you get when you see that subtle change change in her. She starts spending more time at the gym, doing her makeup or hair a little different, seems a bit happier and she's spending more and more time "out with the girls." That uneasy feeling is me, or someone like me.
> Let me preface this by saying I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know it has the potential to tear families apart, break hearts and create scars that will last a lifetime. It hurts me. Every single time I do it, it cuts into me deeper than the last. I'm not proud of it, in fact I hide it from everyone in my life, even my closest friends. Which is why it feels good to write this. That's not to say I don't get anything from it, because I do. But first a little context.
> I'm 28, single, live in a major metropolitan city and have a comfortable life. I have great family and friends, and have no problem meeting unattached women.
> Three years ago I met a woman, let's call her Melissa, who was at the tail end of a divorce. We met at the gym and despite a bit of an age gap, we hit it off instantly. She was still living with the guy, a cop, who wasn't quite abusive but certainly didn't treat her well.
> ...


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

So her husband helps her build a yoga studio, and she thanked him by doing other guys there. I wonder if in today's Beta Nation is this reason enough to drop her immediately. Frankly, he should be grateful to this player for exposing the true nature of his wife.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

That broke my heart (the husband part). Of coarse he didn't understand, he was probably a perfectly loving husband, his wife was just looking for that extra attention because she's a f'cking *****.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Am I naive or is it really that easy? Do you believe this story? Some of it might be true I suppose but it still comes across a little as bragging. A little like the other one that has been posted. It seems a bit penthouse.

I hope some husband catches up with him one day if it is true and punches his smug face in.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Numbersixxx said:


> So her husband helps her build a yoga studio, and she thanked him by doing other guys there. I wonder if in today's Beta Nation is this reason enough to drop her immediately. Frankly, he should be grateful to this player for exposing the true nature of his wife.


He did post an update. He contacted the woman after a few days see "if everything is ok". She told him that the husband was also cheating on her. They decided to separate and husband moved in with his gf. She was calling the OM asking if they could date after her divorce. He said he wasn't sure how much of this was true.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

NewM said:


> Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
> Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.


You might be right I don't know.

I told the guy I suspected of being the OM in a suspected affair 20 years ago that if he touched my wife I'd punch his fvcking face in.
I did find out later that there had been no affair but he had been sniffing around. Never saw the twat again.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

NewM said:


> Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
> Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.


Nevertheless he admits that he *targetted* married women.

That is wrong.


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> He did post an update. He contacted the woman after a few days see "if everything is ok". She told him that the husband was also cheating on her. They decided to separate and husband moved in with his gf. She was calling the OM asking if they could date after her divorce. He said he wasn't sure how much of this was true.


Oh well, looks like they are both scumbags. I only feel sorry for the kids. 

But the woman is delusional. Thinking this player will want a serious relationship after knowing her real character.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Interesting


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Here is his other post


> Oh boy. This got quite a bit more attention than I anticipated.
> Lot of hate. Wasn’t expecting that much to be honest.
> It’s pretty obvious there are quite a few people on here who have been affected by infidelity, whether as a partner or as the child of parents in this situation. To all of you I’m sorry if my words hit close to home.
> I’ve had some time to step back from the situation and regroup. I’m still terribly embarrassed and ashamed by my actions and for those asking, I am committed to not repeating this type of behavior. It’s not worth the destruction and mayhem it causes.
> ...


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## Cdelta02 (Sep 20, 2012)

Numbersixxx said:


> Oh well, looks like they are both scumbags. I only feel sorry for the kids.
> 
> But the woman is delusional. Thinking this player will want a serious relationship after knowing her real character.


Why assume the H is a scumbag based on the word of a WW?


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

NewM said:


> Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
> Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.


Because being a decent person MATTERS! They are just as culpable once they know the other person is married. They have a choice to walk away as much as the married person does. And if they don't, they are doing as much irreperable damage to the marriage as the husband/wife is. 

Whether they have remorse after what they have done is what determines if the OW/OM has ANY redeeming qualities at all. And even then, it is very slight.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

> But it wouldn’t have been serious for me (I would have been honest about that). And it was NOT about the allure of the taboo being lost


riiiiiight.


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

lisab0105 said:


> Because being a decent person MATTERS! *They are just as culpable once they know the other person is married*.


I completely disagree. It is 100% on the cheating spouse.

The affair partner owes no allegiance to the betrayed spouse and focusing your hurt and anger on them is stupid. They functionally exist in the abstract, as who they are doesn't matter in this context; only the act the cheating spouse did with them does. Therefore, getting angry at Person X _specifically_ for being the OM/OW is an exercise in futility, serving only to abdicate full responsibility from the true culprit: the cheating spouse. 

The affair partner isn't even slightly culpable—they didn't take anything that wasn't offered freely and if they didn't take it, the cheating spouse would have offered elsewhere.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

There are a certain class of POSOMs who prey upon unhappy, married women because it's easier for them. They need the advantage of vulnerability. They couldn't attract a single woman of the same calibre because they are difficient. 

Same type of mentality that would get a woman drunk to take advantage of her.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

iJordan said:


> I completely disagree. It is 100% on the cheating spouse.
> 
> The affair partner owes no allegiance to the betrayed spouse and focusing your hurt and anger on them is stupid. They functionally exist in the abstract, as who they are doesn't matter in this context; only the act the cheating spouse did with them does. Therefore, getting angry at Person X _specifically_ for being the OM/OW is an exercise in futility, serving only to abdicate full responsibility from the true culprit: the cheating spouse.
> 
> The affair partner isn't even slightly culpable—they didn't take anything that wasn't offered freely and if they didn't take it, the cheating spouse would have offered elsewhere.


It definitely takes two. So it s a shared responsibility. One couldn't happen without the other. Both lack character.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

while I agree to target them is low..... VERY low and speaks to their character.

but there are many advantages to married women.........if they are not targeted, but just part of the mix of a single guys women. I don't see where he is the devil. but don't be stupid and don't mess with their marriage or have feelings for them or do anything close to getting caught. (like banging @ their house or their yoga studio when the H probably has a key!!)


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

iJordan said:


> I completely disagree. It is 100% on the cheating spouse.
> 
> The affair partner owes no allegiance to the betrayed spouse and focusing your hurt and anger on them is stupid. They functionally exist in the abstract, as who they are doesn't matter in this context; only the act the cheating spouse did with them does. Therefore, getting angry at Person X _specifically_ for being the OM/OW is an exercise in futility, serving only to abdicate full responsibility from the true culprit: the cheating spouse.
> 
> The affair partner isn't even slightly culpable—they didn't take anything that wasn't offered freely and if they didn't take it, the cheating spouse would have offered elsewhere.


i tend to agree with this.
i focused my anger for some time on POSOM, because i did not want my wife to be the focus of such intense and unbridled anger. and yes, to a certain degree, hatred.
who wants to hate their spouse? who wants to believe their spouse could care for them so little? not me, and im sure not many others.
so, while i tend to agree with this viewpoint, i will also say that i have enough anger left for POSOM that if he so much as glances at me or makes eye contact with me when i see him, i will push his face in. he knows it, so he doesnt do it. ducks his head like a b**ch and looks down or away. the way it should be. because thats what he is.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

I am skeptical of this story. 

1) why would someone scream so loud from an orgasm in a parking garage which is a semi-public place? Um, in that situation you are trying to be quiet.

2) they were "into it for 45 minutes" - 45 minutes?? The sex can't be that hot if it takes 45 minutes of screwing and you haven't cum yet

3) okay, mutual orgasms are very rare, and usually it happens when both parties are so worked up they finish quickly. So we're supposed to believe that you've been screwing for 45 minutes with neither person finishing, then all of a sudden you cum together? Give me a break.

4) so the husband apparently was standing in the room WATCHING them continue to have sex? My ass. Any man would have created a freaking carnage at that moment, and not just sat there politely waiting for them to be done.

Bull. Sh!t.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

A cheating spouse lacks character, loyalty, honesty. They are sneaky. They badmouth their spouses to virtual strangers. In other words, they are quite pathetic. The people who are attracted to this type of "victim" and prey to take advantage are equally pathetic.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

they're not a VICTIM.....lol the cheating spouse is the predator!..

and how is it pathetic to have no stings attached sex.....without even having to talk, and then go back about your day?

for a single guy thats a fricken goldmine.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Those were ironic quotation marks around "victim".

My point is, both sides are pathetic and lacking something in the character department.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> Those were ironic quotation marks around "victim".
> 
> My point is, both sides are pathetic and lacking something in the character department.


as a married man I see your point. but as a single guy who does not fathom "till death do us part"....I would percieve it more as ignorance to understanding how wrong it is.

I do agree with you, now that I am married.


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> It definitely takes two. So it s a shared responsibility. One couldn't happen without the other. Both lack character.


Murder takes two... Doesn't mean we divvy the responsibility.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

ATC529R said:


> as a married man I see your point. but as a single guy who does not fathom "till death do us part"....I would percieve it more as ignorance to understanding how wrong it is.
> 
> I do agree with you, now that I am married.


Disagree. Simply because if the guy is single, it implies he is younger, or an older bachelor (eg - a "player"). If a younger guy is attracted to older married woman rather than his one age cohort, you have to wonder. Even if it's just horniness - why wouldn't he go after somebody in his own, single demographic? Why? Because it's harder and maybe he just doesn't have what it takes. If the guy is older, then he would know what he is doing.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

iJordan said:


> Murder takes two... Doesn't mean we divvy the responsibility.


So the AP is a victim? Like a murder victim? Really?


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> So the AP is a victim? Like a murder victim? Really?


No, I'm pretty sure I never said anything like that. I was responding to the fallacy that because there are two people, there is a shared responsibility. 

If we are going to use the murder analogy (which wasn't my point), the cheating spouse if the murderer, the marriage is the victim and the affair partner is the knife.

The need to blame the affair partner stems from denial.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

iJordan said:


> No, I'm pretty sure I never said anything like that. I was responding to the fallacy that because there are two people, there is a shared responsibility.
> 
> If we are going to use the murder analogy (which wasn't my point), the cheating spouse if the murderer, the marriage is the victim and the affair partner is the knife.


It was your point, which is why you posted the reply. Your later analogy is slightly better. Would be more accurate to say that the cheating spouse pulled the trigger while the AP held the victim down. There IS a shared responsibility. Both parties made decisions. It is called free will. You make it seem like the AP was pulled, helplessly, by some mental tractor beam sent by the DS.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

iJordan said:


> The need to blame the affair partner stems from denial.



Both lack the character to avoid the situation. Both are to blame. While it may be true that if it wasn't one specific AP, it would be another - it doen't absolve the AP from responsibility. A SHARED responsibility.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

iJordan said:


> I completely disagree. It is 100% on the cheating spouse.
> 
> The affair partner owes no allegiance to the betrayed spouse and focusing your hurt and anger on them is stupid. They functionally exist in the abstract, as who they are doesn't matter in this context; only the act the cheating spouse did with them does. Therefore, getting angry at Person X _specifically_ for being the OM/OW is an exercise in futility, serving only to abdicate full responsibility from the true culprit: the cheating spouse.
> 
> The affair partner isn't even slightly culpable—they didn't take anything that wasn't offered freely and if they didn't take it, the cheating spouse would have offered elsewhere.


Well, you are more than welcome to excuse the behavior of the AP all you want. I never will. I was equally irate at my WS and the woman he took to bed. She knew all about me, all about the baby we were having. 

She was responsible for saying yes, here is my number. Yes, I will have sex with you. Now, mind you, I have actually forgiven the person my gyu cheated on me with...but I will ALWAYS hold her just as responsible as I hold him. EVERYONE is born with common sense and know right from wrong. Even ****ty ONS's and affair partners. 

Doesn't matter that if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else. That other someone else, would have been just as guilty to me as the actual one was. 

Most people that sleep with married spouses are bottom of the barrell trash.


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> It was your point, which is why you posted the reply. Your later analogy is slightly better. Would be more accurate to say that the cheating spouse pulled the trigger while the AP held the victim down. There IS a shared responsibility. Both parties made decisions. It is called free will. You make it seem like the AP was pulled, helplessly, by some mental tractor beam sent by the DS.


No. Once again, I drew attention to murder due to your erroneous statement that because there are two parties, there is a shared responsibility. It is called reductio ad absurdum and was not used to draw an analogue between affairs and murders. I then went on to make an analogy between affairs and murder, but that quite separate and not _'slightly better'. _ Please do not attempt to tell me what I am saying.

Your above analogy is not more accurate and is simply a rehash of asserting the affair partner's culpability without making a cogent case as to why that is true.

Free will is also irrelevant in ascribing culpability—and that's affording you its existence (which is a stretch).



Cedarman said:


> Both lack the character to avoid the situation. Both are to blame. While it may be true that if it wasn't one specific AP, it would be another - it doen't absolve the AP from responsibility. A SHARED responsibility.


Asserting both are to blame repeatedly doesn't make it true. The fact that it could have been anyone in the place of the affair partner is exactly what absolves that specific affair partner of responsibility in the cheating spouse's choice to cheat.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> He did post an update. He contacted the woman after a few days see "if everything is ok". She told him that the husband was also cheating on her. They decided to separate and husband moved in with his gf. She was calling the OM asking if they could date after her divorce. He said he wasn't sure how much of this was true.


You know its BS. How often do we hear a wayward spouse say the other spouse was cheating on them? ALL THE TIME. And its always a lie. That's just to justify the affair to themselves.


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

lisab0105 said:


> Well, you are more than welcome to excuse the behavior of the AP all you want. I never will.


Please do not straw man me. I was rebuking the desire to blame-shift onto the OM/OW; not excusing an affair partner's behaviour. I don't think that it has to be excused in this context, as it has nothing to do with the cheating spouse's choice to cheat.



lisab0105 said:


> Doesn't matter that if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else. That other someone else, would have been just as guilty to me as the actual one was.


Which is exactly why being angry at her _specifically_ is pointless.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

I think iJordon is stuck with the binary notion that it is 100% the Ds's fault vs it is 100% the Ap's fault.

It is BOTH of their faults. I will go even further to say that the marriage conditions which precipitated the cheating are a fault of both the cheating spouse as well as the faithful spouse in many cases. The conditions which led to the cheating are shared by the married partners in many cases.

But cheating takes two people. The notion that the AP is blameless is ludicrous.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

lisab0105 said:


> Well, you are more than welcome to excuse the behavior of the AP all you want. I never will. I was equally irate at my WS and the woman he took to bed. She knew all about me, all about the baby we were having.
> 
> She was responsible for saying yes, here is my number. Yes, I will have sex with you. Now, mind you, I have actually forgiven the person my gyu cheated on me with...but I will ALWAYS hold her just as responsible as I hold him. EVERYONE is born with common sense and know right from wrong. Even ****ty ONS's and affair partners.
> 
> ...



If the person knows the husband or wife of the person they are having an affair with, I completely agree. dirty scumbags...


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

iJordan said:


> No. Once again, I drew attention to murder due to your erroneous statement that because there are two parties, there is a shared responsibility. It is called reductio ad absurdum and was not used to draw an analogue between affairs and murders. I then went on to make an analogy between affairs and murder, but that quite separate and not _'slightly better'. _ Please do not attempt to tell me what I am saying.
> 
> Your above analogy is not more accurate and is simply a rehash of asserting the affair partner's culpability without making a cogent case as to why that is true.
> 
> ...



It is NOT "a fact" that it could be "anybody". That is a fallacy. Cheating requires a partner who is a willing accomplice to the cheating. That is not "anybody".


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> I think iJordon is stuck with the binary notion that it is 100% the Ds's fault vs it is 100% the Ap's fault.
> 
> It is BOTH of their faults. * I will go even further to say that the marriage conditions which precipitated the cheating are a fault of both the cheating spouse as well as the faithful spouse in many cases. The conditions which led to the cheating are shared by the married partners in many cases.*
> 
> But cheating takes two people. The notion that the AP is blameless is ludicrous.


Argue convincingly why the cheating spouse's choice to cheat is in any way part-owned by the affair partner and I'll change my 'binary position'.

As for the bolded, I've seen the adage that the state of the marriage, pre-affair, is owned 50/50 by each spouse. I was hoping you'd state something similar, as I had a suspicion—given your previous position—that you would agree with it.

In many cases, the type of person who cheats is the type of person whose behaviour is not conducive to a successful marital environment. The blanket statement that the marital conditions pre-affair is owned 50/50 by both spouses is ludicrous (I'm aware you didn't state that explicitly, but 'shared' is ambiguous and can be used as a synonym for go halves on, i.e., 50/50).


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> It is NOT "a fact" that it could be "anybody". That is a fallacy. Cheating requires a partner who is a willing accomplice to the cheating. That is not "anybody".


Um... Yes it is. It could have been someone else; it is anyone who is willing to be an accomplice to their cheating—if you want to use your term. That is all that is required. Don't play semantic games.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> Am I naive or is it really that easy? Do you believe this story?


Yes - it is really that easy


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

WyshIknew said:


> Am I naive or is it really that easy? Do you believe this story? Some of it might be true I suppose but it still comes across a little as bragging.


I can say with absolute certainty that it really is that easy. Based on what I've observed, I tend to think this story is based in facts. While the author may have taken some liberties, the context is very plausable.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

iJordan said:


> Please do not straw man me. I was rebuking the desire to blame-shift onto the OM/OW; not excusing an affair partner's behaviour. I don't think that it has to be excused in this context, as it has nothing to do with the cheating spouse's choice to cheat.
> 
> 
> 
> Which is exactly why being angry at her _specifically_ is pointless.


It is never pointless. If the AP has all the information...they are guilty and the cheating spouse is guilty. Period.


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

lisab0105 said:


> It is never pointless. If the AP has all the information...they are guilty and the cheating spouse is guilty. Period.


If the affair partner has all the information regarding the cheating partner's marriage and continues an affair, they are 'guilty' of something very different to the cheating spouse. 

Their guilt is morality-based—which is subjective.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

iJordan said:


> Argue convincingly why the cheating spouse's choice to cheat is in any way part-owned by the affair partner and I'll change my 'binary position'.
> 
> As for the bolded, I've seen this adage plastered around this sub-forum and I was hoping you'd state this, as I had a suspicion—given your previous position—that you would agree.
> 
> In many cases, the type of person who cheats is the type of person who's behaviour is not conducive to a successful marital environment. The statement that the marital conditions pre-affair is owned 50/50 by both spouses is ludicrous (I'm aware you didn't state that explicitly).


It's quite funny that you take offense to having your posts misinterpreted yet you do the same. Who said owned 50/50? You even said that I didn't state that explicitly, so why make it a part of your response?

It is not 100% one or the other. It is not 50/50. It is somewhere in between and every case is different. That is reality.

In any case, I am in traveling today and off to a lunch meeting. We will have to agree to disagree.


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> It's quite funny that you take offense to having your posts misinterpreted yet you do the same. Who said owned 50/50? You even said that I didn't state that explicitly, so why make it a part of your response?
> 
> It is not 100% one or the other. It is not 50/50. It is somewhere in between and every case is different. That is reality.
> 
> In any case, I am in traveling today and off to a lunch meeting. We will have to agree to disagree.


I don't take offense, per se; for the sake of the discussion, I just want everything to be accurate. If someone has a convincing argument that better informs me, I want to know it so I can improve my opinions. 

As for the accusation that I misinterpreted your post, I didn't. I clearly said, _'I'm aware you didn't state that explicitly'_ — which you acknowledged. I made it part of my post because I've been looking for a chance to say it and this has been the first opportunity. Reading it back, it wasn't worded as well as it should have been, vis-à-vis who or what I was addressing, but I'm on my iPhone and half of the time, I'm battling with auto-correct issues. I've edited it to try and better reflect what I was getting at.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> I can say with absolute certainty that it really is that easy. Based on what I've observed, I tend to think this story is based in facts. While the author may have taken some liberties, the context is very plausable.


Agree - it's a plausible concept. And the guy probably really did target married women. But the details of this story are totally fabricated, IMO.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

So, my problem with this article isn't that it’s about a brazen, immoral person so much as it being about a putz.

_MEN OF REDDIT - you want some insight into why your wife would cheat on you? The number one complaint that I hear as the man lying in bed next to your wife, 'He just doesn't listen to me.'​_
This is about as helpful as pick-up advice from your mother. This forum provides many stories of countless BHs who hung on their WWs every last word throughout their marriage. Hell, that was one thing I excelled at. I listened to her so attentively that I think I could have actually gone into her office and done her job... and she had a doctorate! God, I even knew the timing and duration of her last hemorrhoid flare-up in 2010, that how open the lines of communication were. What AP has ever been privy to that sort of information?

I know what he's really getting at though. "Listen to your wives when they complain about you in the same way that I listen to your wives when they complain about you." This advice is useless. It is virtually impossible to sit there and take an entire backlog of criticism without getting defensive and ultimately making her "uncomfortable." This is especially true with a woman who is prone to infidelity in the first place. They are self-entitled and some of their complaints are simply irrational and patently inequitable.

Finally, for the rare guy who can sit there and take the barrage of criticism, you aren't doing yourself any favors. Today’s would-be WWs will immediately see you as a doormat for not standing up for yourself, lose attraction to you and be even more likely to cheat on you. Don’t take what this putz writes seriously.

Ultimately, it doesn't even sound like this guy has much perspective on himself let alone your marriage. If the husband really was cheating on the woman, then she was probably just using the dude for a revenge feck. The husband just happened to walk in? Please.

Who in their right mind would be going after some middle-aged dysfunctional woman unless they absolutely had to? At 28, if you aren't swimming in desirable unattached, desirable 20-something women then there is something wrong with you.

Feck this guy. And not because he’s a big ol' meanie. Feck this guy because I can only tolerate so much putz.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

WyshIknew said:


> Am I naive or is it really that easy? Do you believe this story? Some of it might be true I suppose but it still comes across a little as bragging. A little like the other one that has been posted. It seems a bit penthouse.
> 
> I hope some husband catches up with him one day if it is true and punches his smug face in.


From my experience its easir than that. GNO's, first meeting, parking lot. It could not get easier. And like findingmyway said, its easier than single women.


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## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

Labcoat said:


> I know what he's really getting at though. "Listen to your wives when they complain about you in the same way that I listen to your wives when they complain about you." This advice is useless. It is virtually impossible to sit there and take an entire backlog of criticism without getting defensive and ultimately making her "uncomfortable." This is especially true with a woman who is prone to infidelity in the first place. They are self-entitled and some of their complaints are simply irrational and patently inequitable.
> 
> Finally, for the rare guy who can sit there and take the barrage of criticism, you aren't doing yourself any favors. Today’s would-be WWs will immediately see you as a doormat for not standing up for yourself, lose attraction to you and be even more likely to cheat on you.


This is a great post.


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## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

Thanks!


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

Well, found that very interesting. 
Must say, I think I see a problem with men today. If a guy can walk in on his wife doing another man like that, and NOT kill someone, then he needs to MAN UP!
Still, sad story though. To bad infidelity is no longer a crime for WS. 


I found out the OW my dad was with, thought he was divorced, because that is what he told her. I always just felt she was just some loose tramp that tempted him. Then saw it differently. 
Now, I don't really hate the OW. To the degree that I once did. 
I still hate her guts, but what can I do? She is in some fog, and thinking she has found some love. When she first met the man, she thought she met a single man that was interested. Now she is in a fog, wanting to find some love in her life.
I wonder how that fog will proceed...anyone ever heard of that? AP fog? 
It is just...who knows? 
Obviously doesn't fit this situation, but...well, just is interesting. 


Also, I remember seeing an internet meme that must've described the thought process of a player. 

If she is single, you're competing against the world. 
If she is taken, you're competing against one.


----------



## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

iJordan said:


> No, I'm pretty sure I never said anything like that. I was responding to the fallacy that because there are two people, there is a shared responsibility.
> 
> If we are going to use the murder analogy (which wasn't my point), the cheating spouse if the murderer, the marriage is the victim and the affair partner is the knife.
> 
> The need to blame the affair partner stems from denial.


Ahhh, the art of circumventing... Allow me to help you iJordan... One day after 7 years of marriage, my husband was walking under a tree when suddenly an AP fell, legs spread, right off of it unto his penis...No one can sell you anything you don't want to buy.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

RightfulRiskTaker said:


> One day... my husband was walking under a tree when suddenly an AP fell, legs spread, right off of it unto his penis...


Dang - same thing happened to me...
but my wife ain't buying it.
:scratchhead:


----------



## iJordan (May 8, 2012)

RightfulRiskTaker said:


> Ahhh, the art of circumventing... Allow me to help you iJordan... One day after 7 years of marriage, my husband was walking under a tree when suddenly an AP fell, legs spread, right off of it unto his penis...No can sell you anything you don't want to buy.


I'm really not sure what you're trying to articulate here, but it certainly hasn't helped me.


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## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

old timer said:


> Dang - same thing happened to me...
> but my wife ain't buying it.
> :scratchhead:


LOL!!! & the OW, in my case kept falling on it for 8 years as he kept walking under that same tree for 8 years :rofl: Until one fine day, lightening struck and ... 

(Warlock, not derailing your thread here, just making a significant point.)

iJordan, you might want to try to THINK about it.


----------



## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Whether posts like that are true, false, or somewhere in between does not really matter to me. The WS still has to make a decision to cheat. Plain & simple. You are vulnerable only if you CHOOSE to be !


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

NewM said:


> Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
> Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.


There is plenty of accountability to go around. Indeed his wife is to blame but I see no reason you give someone a free pass for being a predator. I can multi-task.


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## doc_martin (Oct 19, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> Am I naive or is it really that easy? Do you believe this story? Some of it might be true I suppose but it still comes across a little as bragging. A little like the other one that has been posted. It seems a bit penthouse.
> 
> I hope some husband catches up with him one day if it is true and punches his smug face in.


It is so much easier than this. Married women love to hear how they can get unattatched sex/attention and not have to be available to go out, get to know, etc., etc. Because they are not looking to start a relationship with the idea of dating, marriage, babies, all those long term questions. It truly is about RIGHT NOW! Sadly, the right now seems to turn into a right now that is so obsessive, it usually completely obliterates everything else. Much like drugs. And this does become an addiction.

When I was young and single, I unknowingly got myself into a situation like this. She never told me she was married, but looking back, it was pretty obvious. I was horny and young and maybe if she had even told me, I may not have cared. The lure of free sex is very strong... My resolve to never ever cheat or get involved with anyone married came from a very large man wearing a very respected 1%er patch and a loaded .45. 

In a way, I guess the Karma bus is running me over for the sins of my youth...


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

ATC529R said:


> as a married man I see your point. but as a single guy who does not fathom "till death do us part"....I would percieve it more as ignorance to understanding how wrong it is.
> 
> I do agree with you, now that I am married.


When I was single I always avoided married women.

What contributes to the ignorance is people saying that it is ok for this to happen. That the AP has no role. They very much do IMO. YMMV.

But really people can have their opinion and deal with things the way they see fit. I hope I never have to deal with it, but I would hold both accountable.


----------



## Disenchanted (Sep 12, 2012)

WTF, this is not the first time I've heard/read a OM say "sorry from the bottom of my heart"

WTF is at the bottom of your heart, your schlong?

I call BS on the story for the most part. 

And as much anger and hatred as I have for the OM in my situation, I know damned well that my wonderful loving sweet spouse seduced the dumbass.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

RightfulRiskTaker said:


> LOL!!! & the OW, in my case kept falling on it for 8 years as he kept walking under that same tree for 8 years :rofl: Until one fine day, lightening struck and ...


Only took me five years - guess I'm a quick study.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

This reeks of troll.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> This reeks of troll.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Any particular poster you're referring to?


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## MrMathias (Nov 19, 2012)

I'm not sure what to think about this article. It could be real, on the other hand it could be fabricated by a BH- told from the viewpoint of a 'player' to supply a legitimate 'credential' in order to make readers take heed. 

Unfortunately it's a very believable tale. I guess the message is the same either way. It makes me want to shatter the OMs life and teach him a lesson, so that he doesn't prey on other married women.


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## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

If he was truly sorry he wouldn't be writing a sex novel of his car hood and yoga mat notchings. I agree, he's a sham. My husband didn't listen to me either, he didn't do whatever he was supposed to because he was too busy listening to her and doing her. Did I get offers? Yes. Did I therefore consider adultery an option? No. It's the quality of the character, once tested the true calibre comes forth.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

DrMathias said:


> It makes me want to shatter the OMs life and teach him a lesson, so that he doesn't prey on other married women.


Then do it. No one here would be begrudge you that. You have every right under the sun to expose him for what he truly is and for what he did to your marriage. 

I wouldn't hesitate for one damned second. Remember, it's not the revenge; it's the reckoning. Actions do have consequences. Make him suffer his.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

iJordan said:


> *The affair partner isn't even slightly culpable*—they didn't take anything that wasn't offered freely and if they didn't take it, the cheating spouse would have offered elsewhere.


Oh yeah? Let's consult The Law:

Article 1220 of the Penal Code of the State of Texas: _"Homicide is justifiable when committed by the husband upon one taken in the act of adultery with the wife, provided the killing take place before the parties to the act have separated.” _ This statute was in effect until 1974 (James Dilliard Shaw, Appellant v. The State of Texas, Appellee, 510 S.W. 2d 926 (Court of Criminal Appeals of Texas, 1974)).

This wonderful law fell to political correctness in 1974.


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## MrMathias (Nov 19, 2012)

3putt said:


> Then do it. No one here would be begrudge you that. You have every right under the sun to expose him for what he truly is and for what he did to your marriage.
> 
> I wouldn't hesitate for one damned second. Remember, it's not the revenge; it's the reckoning. Actions do have consequences. Make him suffer his.


I'm already taking steps to do what I can, legally. I made a good criminal law contact at an art event a couple weeks ago. I'm not even looking to win a civil suit- ensuring his future background checks have a record of his actions on it will be a good start. My state is no-fault and as far as I can tell 'alienation of affection' torts aren't done here either so I'm exploring options. 

I think a simple subpoena would make a lot of OMs think twice about hunting down married tramps. 

OM at one point wanted to be a teacher, maybe still does. How'd you like him to be around impressionable young ladies? That really pisses me off.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

DrMathias said:


> I'm already taking steps to do what I can, legally. I made a good criminal law contact at an art event a couple weeks ago. I'm not even looking to win a civil suit- ensuring his future background checks have a record of his actions on it will be a good start. My state is no-fault and as far as I can tell 'alienation of affection' torts aren't done here either so I'm exploring options.
> 
> I think a simple subpoena would make a lot of OMs think twice about hunting down married tramps.
> 
> OM at one point wanted to be a teacher, maybe still does. How'd you like him to be around impressionable young ladies? That really pisses me off.


Awesome! I would throw everything you could his way. FB exposure, his family, subpoena (I love this one and have suggested it before), his employer, cheaterville.com....anything and everything you can.

Screw this vulture.

Sorry you're going through this.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

So...because a male AP suggests it's relatively easy to seduce a married woman, everyone thinks he's fabricating the story? If you're fairly descerning about your targets, it isn't really that difficult guys/gals. 

Most women (and fewer men) may not jump in the sack w/ any Tom, **** or Harry/Harriet, but almost all (male and female - especially female), are susceptible to an emotional affair if they feel a years-long emotional/sexual detachment from their SO. EA's will usually lead to PA's if not found out. 

I think the guy is spot-on. Flame away if it makes you feel better about yourselves, BS's - but unless your SO has a history of cheating, look in the mirror, because it's the freaking truth.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

iJordon: Just a comment - it's bad form to edit a post (except for typos) AFTER it has been replied to. You've done this more than once on this thread alone. You want to contribute something and debate with the purpose of providing insight, then then I don't think you should be changing the meaning of your posts after the fact. And don't blame your iPhone. It is 100% the fault of the user of the iPhone - not a shared responsibility, unlike cheating. :lol:


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Broken at 20 said:


> Well, found that very interesting.
> Must say, I think I see a problem with men today. If a guy can walk in on his wife doing another man like that, and NOT kill someone, then he needs to MAN UP!
> Still, sad story though. To bad infidelity is no longer a crime for WS.
> \


I 100% agree. If it was me, he would have suffered a very permanent and severe accident to himself between where he was and the door. It was obvious he was raping the wife. It would have been justifiable to remove the parts of him that he used to do that with.


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

DrMathias said:


> I'm already taking steps to do what I can, legally. I made a good criminal law contact at an art event a couple weeks ago. I'm not even looking to win a civil suit- ensuring his future background checks have a record of his actions on it will be a good start. My state is no-fault and as far as I can tell 'alienation of affection' torts aren't done here either so I'm exploring options.
> 
> I think a simple subpoena would make a lot of OMs think twice about hunting down married tramps.
> 
> OM at one point wanted to be a teacher, maybe still does. How'd you like him to be around impressionable young ladies? That really pisses me off.


The OM wants to be a teacher? 
Well, post him on cheaterville. That will get it started.
Try telling local authorities he has smoked weed, and let them throw his butt in jail for a few days. After a drug test of course. 
Plus, if you got a computer nerd that owes you a favor, you could call it in, have him hack the account, have the OM like a few things that he shouldn't...but remember: I didn't tell you to do that. 
And maybe figure out where he is applying...tell the Dean of admissions "Oh yea, he likes to bone teachers. So have fun with that student."

Plus, he is 20. Or 21. 
So you could haul his young butt into jail. Just because he is young, and stupid, doesn't mean you can't sue him. 
You can sue him civilly for pain and suffering, emotional distress, emotional trauma, etc. 

Will you win? 
Honestly, I would say it could go either way. 
But the fact that you are sueing him would send a very clear message. And any future school he transfers too might see that too.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ideally you would follow his movements and made sure you sent a letter on non-recommendation to each every school district he ever applies to.

a pot smoking piece of sh1t should never be any where near children. He should be with the other loosers working at the 7-11.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

old timer said:


> So...because a male AP suggests it's relatively easy to seduce a married woman, everyone thinks he's fabricating the story? If you're fairly descerning about your targets, it isn't really that difficult guys/gals.


When I was the age of the reddit poster, I had married women coming on to me frequently. I don't have any particular reason to doubt him. Wysh mentioned Penthouse which is funny. Until I had a woman ask me to do her while her husband watched, I had no idea that actually happened outside of Penthouse.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Gabriel said:


> I am skeptical of this story.
> 
> 1) why would someone scream so loud from an orgasm in a parking garage which is a semi-public place? Um, in that situation you are trying to be quiet.
> 
> ...


This story is real. This is from a real guy that lives under a bridge. Real fake.


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## Yessongs72 (Dec 6, 2012)

iJordan said:


> I completely disagree. It is 100% on the cheating spouse.
> 
> The affair partner owes no allegiance to the betrayed spouse and focusing your hurt and anger on them is stupid. They functionally exist in the abstract, as who they are doesn't matter in this context; only the act the cheating spouse did with them does. Therefore, getting angry at Person X _specifically_ for being the OM/OW is an exercise in futility, serving only to abdicate full responsibility from the true culprit: the cheating spouse.
> 
> The affair partner isn't even slightly culpable—they didn't take anything that wasn't offered freely and if they didn't take it, the cheating spouse would have offered elsewhere.


Surely responsibilty has to be shared - The WS is responsible for the damage they have done to their spouse, but the AP has gone into affair knowing WS is married. What if both AP's are married. Am i to exclusively blame my wife for what she is doing to me by shagging another man, and his his wife to exclusively blame him for the damage that is going to be done to her when affair is exposed? Personally i am quite at ease heaping blame on to the AP, and i expect/hope that his wife will have no problems putting a significant ammount of blame on my WW.

Even in the case in the post, this man has deliberately gone out of his way to have sex with married woman, he is a piece of sh1t and should not be absolved of his blame. as they say 'it takes two'.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

The story may be fake, but these types of guys exist. We all know them. They are the guys (now grown up) who, when they turn 16 and get their drivers license, they cruise by the junior high to impress and pick up the 14 year old girls (because they strike out with their own age group). Something lacking.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Believe whatever you need to. But the gist of this story isn't even a stretch.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

It's believable whether it's factual or just based on a true story so I don't know what the difference is but I'll give you a true story minus knowing the internal thought process.

I watched (not literally) my brother hook up with a several women over a period of one year when we roomed together and at least three of them were married because he liked to talk about his exploits. We were in our mid twenties.

Don't know what made him do it but I think it's a sickness. Insecurity, ego, competitiveness?

Specifically remember watching our neighbor leave for work and my brother out the back door to their apartment to screw his wife. I felt bad for the guy even though he probably doesn't know to this day. By the way my brother picked her up by them taking their kids (brother's and hers) to the park and talking because "The kids liked each other. Right".

It was a mix of co-workers, neighbors, and a couple of them from the gym. I guess it was a phase because he hasn't been that way in years but other guys are out there doing it now.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Gabriel said:


> I am skeptical of this story.
> 
> 1) why would someone scream so loud from an orgasm in a parking garage which is a semi-public place? Um, in that situation you are trying to be quiet.
> 
> ...


My thoughts exactly Gabe. I could have written this. If it took me 45 mins to get my wife to cum I'd have given up ages before. Penthouse crap. Proof or it's some wanky little internet warrior typing with one hand.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Google, how to pickup married women. I don't find his post even slightly unlikely. Especially with my experiences from the seventies and eighties. things appear to be much much worse now.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

old timer said:


> So...because a male AP suggests it's relatively easy to seduce a married woman, everyone thinks he's fabricating the story? If you're fairly descerning about your targets, it isn't really that difficult guys/gals.
> 
> Most women (and fewer men) may not jump in the sack w/ any Tom, **** or Harry/Harriet, but almost all (male and female - especially female), are susceptible to an emotional affair if they feel a years-long emotional/sexual detachment from their SO. EA's will usually lead to PA's if not found out.
> 
> ...


Sorry for the redundancy, folks - but please read again...
and take an honest look in the mirror.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Well yes of course lots of people cheat on their spouses, we see it every day here. The tone of this and the way it's written, the details, it just really sounds fake to me. Sure this stuff happens, I'm not doubting it. I have had good looking male friends even complain that they mostly get hit on by married women and they weren't interested in that. 
It happens. I just think the author of this was making it all up to get attention.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> Well yes of course lots of people cheat on their spouses, we see it every day here. The tone of this and the way it's written, the details, it just really sounds fake to me.


The part that sounds the fakest is that the guy was using a rubber when busted. Women don't like rubbers, especially in affair sex.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> The part that sounds the fakest is that the guy was using a rubber when busted. Women don't like rubbers, especially in affair sex.


That kind of sounds like a detail he would not have thought of though. 

As far as how unbelievable goes though, back in my running days I ran into married women that were regularly picking up unmarried guys. Talk about a total shock. This included a newly wed who took off her ring. 

One of my friends started meeting a beautiful married woman who was driving 40 miles to do this in Louisville about once a week. We left her and all her friends she was coming with alone. Had no idea he took her number since we were not giving them the time of day.

All the women I have ever known that went out on GNO's have had brutal divorces except for one. My wife called from work and went on one. When she came in tipsy around ten oclock, I told her the next time, her stuff would be on the front porch.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Anyone noticed how many threads have included exercise, gyms, running, yoga etc.?


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## Juicer (May 2, 2012)

chapparal said:


> Anyone noticed how many threads have included exercise, gyms, running, yoga etc.?


Unless they went to the gym and did yoga while dating, and while engaged, and kept it up during the honey moon phase of the marriage, and when that sizzled off, then I would say it is probably safe. 
If they just started going to the gym after giving you the "I am not happy," speech, then you need to start digging and doing a 180.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

chapparal said:


> Anyone noticed how many threads have included exercise, gyms, running, yoga etc.?


If I wanted to pickup a woman I would definitely include the gym. If I was really motivated I may even break down and sign up for one of the "chick" classes. 

That would probably benefit me physically of course and I would look like a douche but hey even a douche gets lucky sometimes. It is all about making contact. Anyway yeah the chick class would probably kick my butt. But the view might be worth it as well. I would think the key in this is to be serious about doing it though.

When I am at the gym I have my wireless headset on and am totally focused on my sets. 

Some of the women there seem very approachable. Others must really get tired of the guys trying to tell them they are doing upright rows wrong while they are really doing olympic high pulls. But I digress as usual.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

old timer said:


> Sorry for the redundancy, folks - but please read again...
> and take an honest look in the mirror.


Oh I think people target married people all the time, and that they have success. I also think this guy was very good at building up his own "prowess", too good, in fact. I love it how he made sure to tell everyone how loud he made the woman scream and how they came together, and that she was a yoga instructor, and he did her on the mats, etc, etc. My guess is the story is much more boring and not as "impressive" as he makes it sounds. Not saying the gist is unfathomable. There's a difference.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Juicer said:


> Unless they went to the gym and did yoga while dating, and while engaged, and kept it up during the honey moon phase of the marriage, and when that sizzled off, then I would say it is probably safe.
> If they just started going to the gym after giving you the "I am not happy," speech, then you need to start digging and doing a 180.


I forget the question on the Kane show radio program the other day, but a gym trainer andwered he had a few girlfriends he was sleeping with and then he said plus his regulars at the gym. He made it sound like he was banging quite a few of the women coming to the gym.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

chapparal said:


> I forget the question on the Kane show radio program the other day, but a gym trainer andwered he had a few girlfriends he was sleeping with and then he said plus his regulars at the gym. He made it sound like he was banging quite a few of the women coming to the gym.


If he was a personal trainer a good portion of his regulars are clients. Some women frankly expect this to be an available part of the service. Others can be seduced. Some women will pass on a PT who will not make this available to them.

But for sure the PT is in a great postition to do the seducing. First off the women chose him to be her trainer. Secondly part of the deal is the coaching encouragement, with some levels of sexual inuendo. Then there is the touching. Anyway it is a lot of both Alpha and Beta available to the woman. His attention is completely on her. If she is into being dominated she can get that. If she is in to dominating she can get off on the fact she is paying the guy for his attention. Plus he is probably in much better shape than her stressed out overworked hubby. She is calling the shots here. And so on.

So yeah, while I trust my wife more than anyone it the would too much advantage his dojo. No way would I ever be ok with my wife having a male trainer. There are good female trainers out there.

And no I would not have a female PT unless she could Squat more than me for sure.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

* And no I would not have a female PT unless she could Squat more than me for sure. *

But then you wouldn't be able to say no. All you would be able to say would be "Please be gentle"


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

chapparal said:


> * And no I would not have a female PT unless she could Squat more than me for sure. *
> 
> But then you wouldn't be able to say no. All you would be able to say would be "Please be gentle"


Mistress.

Also I would have much less attraction for her most likely. I do not mind being beaten by women, but if they could do that the body type would flat not attract me.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Sounds fake. You don't get stung to the core When you're playing the field. There is a ton of rejection when you chase women so each conquest is a victory. Just sounds made up to me.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

chapparal said:


> Anyone noticed how many threads have included exercise, gyms, running, yoga etc.?


Yoga got started as a sex cult (tantra) as a way to trigger sexual desire, primarily in women. As for fitness in general, that's where the hottest guys will be found. We didn't use the term "cougar" but back in the early 70's you would find certain married women checking us out at the local Nautilus facility during the day. No sports bras were worn back then either, as it was before the aerobics craze. They'd wear body suits and leotards with the headlights on most of the time.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> Yoga got started as a sex cult (tantra) as a way to trigger sexual desire, primarily in women. As for fitness in general, that's where the hottest guys will be found. We didn't use the term "cougar" but back in the early 70's you would find certain married women checking us out at the local Nautilus facility during the day. No sports bras were worn back then either, as it was before the aerobics craze. They'd wear body suits and leotards with the headlights on most of the time.


I really, really liked those body suits. Especially that yellow one my w...................


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Kobo said:


> Sounds fake. You don't get stung to the core When you're playing the field. There is a ton of rejection when you chase women so each conquest is a victory. Just sounds made up to me.


I never chased a single one. I was constantly chased by 3 to 8 range on any given day with a couple of 9s at least monthly.

No brag, just fact.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

chapparal said:


> I really, really liked those body suits. Especially that yellow one my w...................


I think I remember that one, where it went up the crack in back and down below the boobs in front?

Maybe I can find some of those on ebay to distribute to my shaplier clients.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> I never chased a single one. I was constantly chased by 3 to 8 range on any given day with a couple of 9s at least monthly.
> 
> No brag, just fact.


Even if you got chased daily, if you're a player then your chasing women. The hunt and conquest is the best part. If you're not chasing women then you're not player. IMO


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Kobo said:


> Even if you got chased daily, if you're a player then your chasing women. The hunt and conquest is the best part. If you're not chasing women then you're not player. IMO


No, I never chased, so it was me doing the rejecting and/or accepting.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Machiavelli said:


> No, I never chased, so it was me doing the rejecting and/or accepting.


Then you're not someone I would call a player.


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## itom72 (Apr 12, 2012)

Kobo said:


> Even if you got chased daily, if you're a player then your chasing women. The hunt and conquest is the best part. If you're not chasing women then you're not player. IMO


Not true.

Like some others in this thread, I speak from experience. In my 20's, I was in good shape (now 40 years old and working on getting back into shape), and I didn't have to do a thing. Women approached me. 

The guys who consistently initiate, BTW, have to be careful not to appear needy/desperate. Much better to simply be the best man you can be - including the best-looking man you can be - and let nature do the rest.

Remember, there's a reason why this adage has withstood the test of time:

*Men display; women choose.*


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## itom72 (Apr 12, 2012)

Also, Kobo, you're confusing the terms "player" and "chaser".

Take the example of a well-known pro athlete who walks into a bar. Every woman there who's on the make will be drawn to him. He doesn't have to do one darned thing, just sit there, drink, and let the women parade themselves before him. He chooses which one(s) he takes home with him, they leave together, end of story.

Not only is he a player, he's a player _par excellence_. In baseball terms, he doesn't have to run the bases. All he has to do is show up on the ball field, stand on third base, and let the woman (or women) of his choice "walk him home", so to speak.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

itom72 said:


> Not true.
> 
> Like some others in this thread, I speak from experience. In my 20's, I was in good shape (now 40 years old and working on getting back into shape), and I didn't have to do a thing.


That's not being a player. That's more like being easy, a man-sl!t, or Derek Jeter. There are plenty of guys that attract women without much effort but if they are truly into playing the game they're going to still be chasing. Part of the game is the chase.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

itom72 said:


> Also, Kobo, you're confusing the terms "player" and "chaser".
> 
> Take the example of a well-known pro athlete who walks into a bar. Every woman there who's on the make will be drawn to him. He doesn't have to do one darned thing, just sit there, drink, and let the women parade themselves before him. He chooses which one(s) he takes home with him, they leave together, end of story.
> 
> Not only is he a player, he's a player _par excellence_. In baseball terms, he doesn't have to run the bases. All he has to do is show up on the ball field, stand on third base, and let the woman (or women) of his choice "walk him home", so to speak.


Having sex doesn't make a player. If that was the case then half the freshmen ladies at FSU and most of the ladies at Navy A school would be considered players. In my less mature days I was known to run game on ladies I had no intention of sleeping with for the simple fact that she was there and that's what I do.


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## itom72 (Apr 12, 2012)

Kobo said:


> That's not being a player. That's more like being easy, a man-sl!t, or Derek Jeter. There are plenty of guys that attract women without much effort but if they are truly into playing the game they're going to still be chasing. Part of the game is the chase.


Again, you're confusing playing with chasing - see my other recent post.

As long as we're discussing chasing, guys who chase often have to deal with girls who tease, and as another maxim goes: "Teasers are never pleasers."


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

itom72 said:


> Again, you're confusing playing with chasing - see my other recent post.
> 
> As long as we're discussing chasing, guys who chase often have to deal with girls who tease, and as another maxim goes: "Teasers are never pleasers."


Find me articles on the topic that say sit there and wait for girls to flock to you daily and I may consider your definition valid.


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## itom72 (Apr 12, 2012)

Kobo said:


> Find me articles on the topic that say sit there and wait for girls to flock to you daily and I may consider your definition valid.


Try this one on for size:

How Women Throw Themselves At Pro Athletes (And Vice Versa): A Publicist Explains

This is my last post on this, as I've already made my point. I'll recap:

Chasing implies playing; the converse does NOT necessarily hold. That is, you can play the game, and in fact WIN the game, without having to make any effort. Period.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

itom72 said:


> Try this one on for size:
> 
> How Women Throw Themselves At Pro Athletes (And Vice Versa): A Publicist Explains


Good article, pay attention to the graphic. That's the kind of thing they actually say. You don't have to be a pro athlete either. I used to have a 17 year old bass player who had a married woman behave exactly like the one in the story. Smoking hot.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Entropy3000 said:


> If he was a personal trainer a good portion of his regulars are clients. Some women frankly expect this to be an available part of the service. Others can be seduced. Some women will pass on a PT who will not make this available to them.
> 
> But for sure the PT is in a great postition to do the seducing. First off the women chose him to be her trainer. Secondly part of the deal is the coaching encouragement, with some levels of sexual inuendo. Then there is the touching. Anyway it is a lot of both Alpha and Beta available to the woman. His attention is completely on her. If she is into being dominated she can get that. If she is in to dominating she can get off on the fact she is paying the guy for his attention. Plus he is probably in much better shape than her stressed out overworked hubby. She is calling the shots here. And so on.
> 
> ...


Entropy, where are you getting this information from? I can tell you for a fact, much of this isn't true.

My W used to be a trainer at a national health club franchise. Most of the time, the club assigned the trainers. Sure, people could override this if they wanted to, but that didn't happen that often. They usually came in there green, not knowing who all the trainers were. 

She did say that some trainers dated clients from time to time, but it was not nearly all of them, and it wasn't several clients at a time. I also observed the trainers closely when I worked out there. Most of them basically ignored the clients during their sessions and looked at their smart phones. Sure, there was some fraternization, but you have to be careful generalizing this stuff.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Yoga got started as a sex cult (tantra) as a way to trigger sexual desire, primarily in women.

What in god's name are you talking about? Sorry but you are very confused. Hatha yoga, the form of yoga that involves stretching and poses was started by men for men. It's unusual in India for women to do yoga the way women do here.

Tantra is completely different.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

And I still call bull**** on this story.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> And I still call bull**** on this story.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Whether you call bs or not, this site has seen thousands of BH's report similar stories. Doesn't change the fact that modern married women are extremely easy to fool.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Here's my question. Why do we assume that these women are fooled? Who is fooling who? 
As a woman myself I am insulted by that attitude. I think cheating is horrible but if you really think your wife cheated on you because she's just a poor wittle helpless baby who can't think for herself and is easy prey for any bar**** player, maybe that's part of the reason why she was unhappy. 
Again I'm not saying cheating is right. But neither is assuming that women are tricked into cheating. 
Trust me, in this world women chose who they want. 
If a woman wants to have sex all she has to do is walk into a bar, or I guess a gym and bat an eyelash. The only women who are being preyed on sexually are the ones who are being sexually assaulted. 
I just really don't like the tone I see around here of blaming the AP. It seems like a way to keep yourself as a BS from truly placing ownership for your WW actions on her shoulders. She's not a child. She knew exactly what she was doing. 
I'm sorry if it hurts.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

This seems to me to be a fanfiction. I'm just musing.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I watched that show The Pickup Artist and it was so interesting because it's like men think its a magic trick if they pick up a woman. Like they somehow convinced her to have sex. Really she already wanted to have sex, they just convinced her to have sex with them. That's all it is, picking up on the signals given off by a woman is open to it and then doing the correct moves to the dance of "pick me". And some of it was so damn basic and true, I kind of wished more guys would learn that stuff. It would have made hanging out in bars as a single woman so much easier. So fewer awkward moments with guys who come off as psychopaths.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Cuckold fantasy! Yeah that's it.
Why do women want to screw rich famous men? Child support! 
God Im so cynical....bit it's equal opportunity for both sexes. I think both sexes are equally capable of sin and cruelty.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

diwali123 said:


> Here's my question. Why do we assume that these women are fooled? Who is fooling who?
> As a woman myself I am insulted by that attitude. I think cheating is horrible but if you really think your wife cheated on you because she's just a poor wittle helpless baby who can't think for herself and is easy prey for any bar**** player, maybe that's part of the reason why she was unhappy.
> Again I'm not saying cheating is right. But neither is assuming that women are tricked into cheating.
> Trust me, in this world women chose who they want.
> ...


The part that you and other women don't get is that they are tricked. Yes they think they know what is going on but they don't. The men are playing them. They are saying what they have learned women want to hear emotionally and its all for one reason. To get them out of their clothes. Even after all you have read here you still don't get it.

The proof is how rarely a cheating husband sticks with his affair partner. Almost always he throws his "soul mate " under the bus when he gets caught.

Search for "how to pick up women" and "how to pick up married women" and report back here and make your case. And those sites are for the loser guys that don't naturally get it.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Here is the other post for those that have missed it. BTW, I did NOT write this.

* Findingmyway was a player, I don't know if he comes on here much now, but he did leave a point of view thread although I can't find it. He posted something similar to me, here it is.:
***********************************************

My perspective- as a serial cheat. Before I start, I'm no GQ model look alike and I'm not wealthy.

For me, it was always about extra sex. The thrill of the chase and ego boost was a plus, but I just wanted more sex than my wife did. I always loved my wife and certainly never ever wanted to leave her or lose her. Especially not over someone else's wayward wife.

I had a simple method. I used it because it worked. I targeted married women. I figured they were safer for several important reasons.
1- Less likely to be sleeping around with random guys (STDs).
2- Less likely to pull the crazy girlfriend BS and call my wife.
3- In case of an unwanted pregnancy, I had a built in schmuck to pay the tab and would have claimed to have had a vasectomy.

The most important part of being a player is to hide it. I started with shy looks making certain I'd get caught and then doing my best to look embarrassed. If she started to come around more or dress sexier then I'd try a safe compliment. If she called me on my BS (yes, it happened) I simply acted highly offended. After all, I'm a married family man. That usually got me an apology. A few really smart ones just avoided me altogether.

If she accepted the compliment, I knew I had a chance. I never ever wasted time with someone that I didn't want to bed. If the compliment was successful, I simply followed with more as time permitted and just let things develop. Who knew where it would go? When she would speak with me about her frustrations with her husband (they always complained about their husband) I used that to my advantage. If they complained that he didn't do enough with the kids, I was dad of the year. If he didn't help out around the house, I did everything at home so my wife didn't have to. Yes, it was complete BS, but so what. My job was to make them feel special, pretty and needed and to paint the fantasy. After all, my goal was not conversation or friendship. I wanted to score.

Once things progressed and I had to keep it intense unless it was simply a once and done kind of thing. I would do that by pushing her boundaries for sex. Anal, public hook-up whatever. Keep in mind, I'm in it for the sex so I tried for everything I liked and heard more than once statements like... I never even let my husband do that. That was usually with anal, but sometimes public hook-ups also.

I certainly didn't want to be paying for hotel rooms out my pocket. If she wanted to pay, that was fine. Otherwise, we could hook-up anywhere, it didn't matter to me.

I always advised them to keep the secret between us, because it was so special. Actually, I didn't want to get busted. If they got busted, and some did. That was their tough crap to deal with. I certainly never vowed to love/honor/cherish them.

As I look back, I'm stunned at how easy it was and how many fell for my crap. I had some that would try to pull away and I'd feed them the star crossed lovers BS, you know... kept apart by the cruel hand of fate. That worked like magic to seal the deal. I also used things like I think my wife may have cheated on me. Then I'd work in how I got tested for STDs and it was clear and somehow manage to mention my vasectomy (never had one). Understand? I'm safe, you won't catch anything if you sleep with me and I won't get you pregnant. That was the message.

The one thing that sent me running was the fear of getting caught and sometimes I just wanted a quick bang and wasn't in it for a couple of months of an affair. I'm still also amazed by how many didn't see through my crap either. They didn't have to deal with the day to day stresses that adults face with me (finances, mortgages, car payments, child care, time commitments, etc.). With me, it was just fun and sex. The poor bastard at home didn't have a chance once the play was in motion. It also helped me to see him as a douche-bag when his wife whined about him for whatever reason.

I work with a woman that has lost everything over an affair with me. The house, husband, family, etc. It's difficult to see. She hates me now, but I never vowed anything to her or forced her to do anything. That's her tough crap. Her kids are in therapy, their grades tanked and she's struggling financially and the kids blame her, etc. Honestly, I wish she'd quit so I didn't have to see her every freaking day.


I do know a few like me that I consider even worse. They brag and laugh about getting wayward wives to do things and try to get email or text proof to show off. It's pretty easy, just tell her how much he liked doing X with her last night and let her respond. Then they had proof to brag about and trade notes. I didn't do that. I just wanted the sex and avoided the women they talked about. I liked to find the ones who would seem to be the last to ever do anything like this. Goes back to my 3 reasons.

I never flirted with a married woman unless I wanted in her pants. Plain and simple, you do have to hide it so they don't see it coming, but it's really that basic. Other players use different methods, but we all use what works and modify sometimes if we're not progressing to try a different angle. Not all women are the same, and sometimes deviations are required if she'll let you in her pants.

It was never about love, just sex. I sold the fantasy, yes. But that is all it ever was. A fair trade. They were adults and quite frankly should have known better. Am I a predator, I certainly never thought so and I certainly never thought about what would happen to them when we were done. Yes, all my affairs ended. Most stayed married to their H they *****ed about and screwed around on. Therefore, he must not have been that bad. People just get caught up with unrealistic expectations on life I think. For goodness sake, Prince charming is only charming because he wants a blow job.

Before I close, I'll say this as well. An engaged woman would have worked for me also, but I never found one that would go for me. Also, newly married women are much harder to get. I had the best luck with women who had been married for at least several years, throw a kid or two in the mix and they were usually more susceptible to being chased.

It was a fair trade. Attention and compliments for sex.
findingmyway is offline Forward Message*


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

The proof is how rarely a cheating husband sticks with his affair partner. Almost always he throws his "soul mate " under the bus when he gets caught.

Ok I didn't see anything in this story about soul mates, romance or love. I saw a bunch of horny people screwing. 
I hate to say it but damn I really have known quite a few women cheaters and not one of them was under the impression that the man or men they were screwing was prince charming. They wanted some action on the side. Like I said, they wanted it, and went out to find it. 

I have known of a few women who ended up marrying their AP. unfortunately. 

The whole theme of he tricked her into sleeping with him really does sound to me like a way for a WW to get her man back. It wasn't her fault, he tricked her. Her clothes just fell off when he said he loved her. Come on guys, you are better than that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Findingmyway said:


> I had a simple method. I used it because it worked. I targeted married women. I figured they were safer for several important reasons.
> 1- Less likely to be sleeping around with random guys (STDs).
> 2- Less likely to pull the crazy girlfriend BS and call my wife.
> 3- In case of an unwanted pregnancy, I had a built in schmuck to pay the tab and would have claimed to have had a vasectomy.


How about that. doesn't care about others, likes sex, and is a little manipulative and voila, a predator.

Many won't believe this because it's insulting to acknowledge that it works on so many. I watched my bro do similar.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Finding My Way is full of **** too. of a woman is even open to a man's beginning plays she already has decided she is willing to cheat. Maybe I'm wrong and women really are that dumb but I doubt it highly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> Finding My Way is full of **** too. *of a woman is even open to a man's beginning plays she already has decided she is willing to cheat.* Maybe I'm wrong and women *really are that dumb* but I doubt it highly.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree: with the first part more than the second.

I don't think it requires being dumb. Just a little naive and many of us are naive to other's intentions. Also not giving proper respect to human nature.

It's a little annoying to be pessimistic on this topic so I hope someone says something that resonates with me on this one because I hate believing this stuff happens.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> The whole theme of he tricked her into sleeping with him really does sound to me like a way for a WW to get her man back. It wasn't her fault, he tricked her. Her clothes just fell off when he said he loved her. Come on guys, you are better than that.


It's not a way to get back a WW, it points out how naive and gullible some married women are. As pointed in the thread and most affair stories.



Reading the wayward side of the infidelity sites I've seen this trend almost always, 

*Top reason why WH doesn't marry the OW is because of the lack of trust. "She cheated with me, she'll cheat on me"

*Top reason why WW doesn't marry the OM is because he ended up being a jerk. After all grass wasn't greener as promised.

The only conclusion I can come up from those are men are only in it for the sex while women believe the fairy tales sold to them.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

chapparal said:


> The part that you and other women don't get is that they are tricked. Yes they think they know what is going on but they don't. The men are playing them. They are saying what they have learned women want to hear emotionally and its all for one reason. To get them out of their clothes. Even after all you have read here you still don't get it.
> 
> The proof is how rarely a cheating husband sticks with his affair partner. Almost always he throws his "soul mate " under the bus when he gets caught.
> 
> Search for "how to pick up women" and "how to pick up married women" and report back here and make your case. And those sites are for the loser guys that don't naturally get it.


I think both men and women play a different game when it comes to this. Everyone has their own reasons. Just because the reasons are different doesn't mean one is tricking the other.

The PUA/seduction community mindset are generally looked down upon by most people. I think women who fall for this stuff are the lower end of the pool anyway.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

diwali123 said:


> Her clothes just fell off when he said he loved her. Come on guys, you are better than that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think that view point is embraced because it gives the BS a view point to cope with the situation he is in and reconcile with their spouse. See, it was this manipulative OM guy that forced her into the situation. She wouldn't have done this other.Hate to say this (and definitely not looking to attack) but this attitude can be blatantly seen in Mrs.Mathias thread, where the focus is more on OM instead of the WS. The OM is a 21 year old immature ********* and she is a 36 year old teacher but the focus was heavily on how he manipulated her blah blah.. 

The BS cannot keep on attacking the WS he is living with. So maybe the OM is a safe outlet for anger in some cases while the risk is ignoring the contribution of the WS to the situation..


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Warlock that's exactly what I'm saying. Unless the AP is someone like your family member or friend they didn't betray you. Your WW did. Im no expert but I thought in order to R you had to stare the truth in the face and the WW has to own their behavior. Sex is free for the taking anywhere for women, if it hasn't been guy A it would be guy B or C or D.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

keko said:


> It's not a way to get back a WW, it points out how naive and gullible some married women are. As pointed in the thread and most affair stories.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well, one is selling sex wile the other is selling fairytales..

But women who buy fairy tales are just one kind.There are (wo)men that romanticized affair sex as well. We see a lot of that in today's literature. Women having whirlwind romance with a dream guy for a short while and returning back her boring husband life after her fling


Reading a few threads on doccool, I'm pretty convinced that there are women in affairs for the sex too. And some of them even dump the guys if they become too attached.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> I think that view point is embraced because it gives the BS a view point to cope with the situation he is in and reconcile with their spouse. *See, it was this manipulative OM guy that forced her into the situation.* She wouldn't have done this other.Hate to say this (and definitely not looking to attack) but this attitude can be blatantly seen in Mrs.Mathias thread, where the focus is more on OM instead of the WS. The OM is a 21 year old immature ********* and she is a 36 year old teacher but the focus was heavily on how he manipulated her blah blah..
> 
> The BS cannot keep on attacking the WS he is living with. So maybe the OM is a safe outlet for anger in some cases while the risk is ignoring the contribution of the WS to the situation..


Yes yes. there's no defense for WS or OM or OW.


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## itom72 (Apr 12, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Good article, pay attention to the graphic. That's the kind of thing they actually say. You don't have to be a pro athlete either. I used to have a 17 year old bass player who had a married woman behave exactly like the one in the story. Smoking hot.


Musicians are like athletes in that they have ***** thrown at them all the time. I've got a friend who played in a blues band for several years; they toured the world, he made his millions, and then retired to SE Asia with his Malaysian wife.

He told me some stories about women going after him. One time, the band was on stage getting ready for their performance, and a woman walked up to the stage, pointed at my friend, and said with a s**t-eating grin on her face "I want YOU!" Nonplussed, my friend replied "Fine. Sit right there. We'll talk after the show." She happily complied, and you can guess how the rest of the night went.

The point of it all is, it doesn't matter whether you're an athlete, a musician, or whatnot: If your perceived status is lofty enough, women will come to you, bottom line. You don't have to do a thing.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

itom72 said:


> Try this one on for size:
> 
> How Women Throw Themselves At Pro Athletes (And Vice Versa): A Publicist Explains
> 
> ...


This part killed a part of me.



> An attractive married woman—she had a huge rock on her finger—came over and started hitting on my client immediately and relentlessly. After a while, her husband came out from the dance club area, clearly upset. He never threatened anything physical. He barely even raised his voice. He just wanted to know what she was doing. His wife played dumb. So my client spoke up: "Your girl is trying to **** me."
> 
> The husband got into it a little with his wife. He wanted to leave. My client called over one of the bouncers and told him to get rid of the couple. The wife decided to stay. The husband got booted. He was irate. She didn't care. Five minutes later, my client was having sex with her in the back office of the club. She left, and he never talked to her again. Obviously, we have no idea what happened with the marriage.


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## itom72 (Apr 12, 2012)

It isn't pretty, is it, Warlock?

Blame Puritanical thinking, Victorian-era mores, Disney, and other institutions/mediums that shielded people from reality.

Women are not "sugar and spice and everything nice". They're just as full of "snips and snails and puppy-dog tails" as men.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> Yoga got started as a sex cult (tantra) as a way to trigger sexual desire, primarily in women.
> 
> What in god's name are you talking about? Sorry but you are very confused. Hatha yoga, the form of yoga that involves stretching and poses was started by men for men. It's unusual in India for women to do yoga the way women do here.
> 
> ...


Educate yourself:

Yoga Fans the Sexual Flames


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## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Educate yourself:
> 
> Yoga Fans the Sexual Flames


Thank you for this Mach. 

It's unnerving how people are so naive and ignorant when it comes to the origins of several key philosophies that are lauded as not only benign but beneficial. 

Just because it's eastern or ancient doesn't mean it's good.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> This part killed a part of me.


That's the part I'm talking about. I've seen it. It's mortifying even when you're on the receiving end. Assuming you're not an NPD *********.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

itom72 said:


> It isn't pretty, is it, Warlock?
> 
> *Blame Puritanical thinking*, Victorian-era mores, Disney, and other institutions/mediums that shielded people from reality.
> 
> Women are not "sugar and spice and everything nice". They're just as full of "snips and snails and puppy-dog tails" as men.


The Puritans were actually pretty straight up with regards to female sexuality. It was their female descendants 200 years later who carried the Puritan ideal of equality in marriage to its extreme conclusion with the Women's Movement in the 1840s. That's where the teaching that women had loftier socio-sexual morality than men first fully manifested itself.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

DarkHoly said:


> Thank you for this Mach.
> 
> It's unnerving how people are so naive and ignorant when it comes to the origins of several key philosophies that are lauded as not only benign but beneficial.
> 
> Just because it's eastern or ancient doesn't mean it's good.


I think it can be very useful, since one of the main purposes is to increase the blood flow to the pelvic region. But you've got to know what you're getting into and where things can lead.


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## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

Mach what do you do for a living?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

DarkHoly said:


> Mach what do you do for a living?


I'm semi-retired, but I own and operate a physique training studio.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

I'm not sure "tricked" into sex is the right word, Chap. The old stand by "seduced" is applicable for many, though. But don't forget, women are seducers, too.

Some of the best, most prolific seducers I've ever known were old-style Baptist preachers. I've told some of these stories before from time to time and they're so over the top, nobody believes them. They're even wilder than my stories about playing in rock bands, because of the nature and disposition of the women involved and the fact that they're generally somewhat LT. This is not limited to the Baptist world by any means, but that's where my personal experience is.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Common theme is men of status or authority will be approached by single and married women. They will also be allowed advances by many women who would shut down others. Preacher, Personal trainer. Speaker, Professor, Rock Star. You name it.

Size of the pond doesn't matter.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Reading this thread has really made my stomach turn.

All I've been feeling this past week for my STBXW is pure disgust and hate. Seriously, what a ****. She had a good H and two young kids at home and she's off having porn star sex with OM. Who seduced whom? I'll never know and it probably doesn't matter. 

This was the woman I would have took a bullet for. 

It's enough that somedays I just want to give up on people. No one can be trusted.. we can't even trust ourselves sometimes. WTF is wrong with people?


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## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> I'm semi-retired, but I own and operate a physique training studio.


Do you recommend super sets or just standard ones? 

I pick four exercises and do one set of each, then repeat for a total of four sets each. Then I pick another four exercises and do the same. 

How much should I be eating? How much cardio should I be doing?

Sorry to thread jack, people.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

diwali123 said:


> The proof is how rarely a cheating husband sticks with his affair partner. Almost always he throws his "soul mate " under the bus when he gets caught.
> 
> Ok I didn't see anything in this story about soul mates, romance or love. I saw a bunch of horny people screwing.
> I hate to say it but damn I really have known quite a few women cheaters and not one of them was under the impression that the man or men they were screwing was prince charming. They wanted some action on the side. Like I said, they wanted it, and went out to find it.
> ...


We are not talking about skanks and ****s, we are talking about married women who appear to everyone to be reasonably happy and not wanting to divorce or even think of cheating. Of course there are huge websites for married women who want to get laid AND stay married.

Thsi isn't rocket science.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> When I was the age of the reddit poster, I had married women coming on to me frequently. I don't have any particular reason to doubt him. Wysh mentioned Penthouse which is funny. Until I had a woman ask me to do her while her husband watched, I had no idea that actually happened outside of Penthouse.


Don't get me wrong.

I am absolutely sure that these things happen, however in my opinion these are not just 'random' women ( at least not generally) otherwise every woman would be susceptible to these players or sports stars etc which is crazy. There are decent people out there you know.
I do not believe that people will just cheat for no good reason (in general) they already are of a mind to cheat before they do so.
Mach, the reason I mentioned Penthouse is because the story just sounds so 'Penthouse' to me. I believe the story is either complete BS and the author is a dork typing with one hand and fapping with the other or some aspects are true but highly embellished.

I mean come on! 'The husband just stood there crying' I would have at least said "Excuse me old chap would you mind vacating my wife's orifices or I shall be forced to indulge in some very unpleasant fisticuffs with you."


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

DarkHoly said:


> Do you recommend super sets or just standard ones?
> 
> I pick four exercises and do one set of each, then repeat for a total of four sets each. Then I pick another four exercises and do the same.
> 
> ...


Join the workout thread and you will get some serious advice if this is a serious question. Then again you could PM Mach.


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## loveisforever (Jun 21, 2012)

Cedarman said:


> I think iJordon is stuck with the binary notion that it is 100% the Ds's fault vs it is 100% the Ap's fault.
> 
> It is BOTH of their faults. I will go even further to say that the marriage conditions which precipitated the cheating are a fault of both the cheating spouse as well as the faithful spouse in many cases. The conditions which led to the cheating are shared by the married partners in many cases.
> 
> But cheating takes two people. The notion that the AP is blameless is ludicrous.


"I will go even further to say that the marriage conditions which precipitated the cheating are a fault of both the cheating spouse as well as the faithful spouse in many cases. The conditions which led to the cheating are shared by the married partners in many cases."

This goes too far to be true. Lots of infidelity happens in a "normal and ordinary" marriage. No marriage is perfect and can make you feel happy and fulfilled all the time! You are supposed to direct your dearest emotional need only toward your SO, otherwise it will lead to EA. You are responsible for yourself's happiness in your marriage, not your SO! SO can not read your mind. In many cases, it is the overly narcissistic traits in one spouse that give the OK to cheat. To blame other for your own infidelity is wrong. It is more related to cheater's character, personality and integrity than anything else.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

For discussion's sake, let's say one spouse "checked out" of the marriage for an extended period of time - several years, for instance.

The "abandoned spouse" is not necessarily looking to begin an affair, but he/she, over time, becomes gradually more susceptible and open for another person to fill that emotional and/or physical void. EA's generally lead to PA's if they continue long enough.

I'm not justifying an affair, but unfortunately, that's the way things unfold.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

loveisforever said:


> Lots of infidelity happens in a "normal and ordinary" marriage. No marriage is perfect and can make you feel happy and fulfilled all the time! You are supposed to direct your dearest emotional need only toward your SO, otherwise it will lead to EA. You are responsible for yourself's happiness in your marriage, not your SO! SO can not read your mind. In many cases, it is the overly narcissistic traits in one spouse that give the OK the cheat. To blame other for your own infidelity is wrong. It is more related to cheater's character, personality and integrity than anything else.


:iagree: people are compulsive.

Guilt helps keep us in check. Many a good married girls have been nailed by a creeper ONCE, felt the guilt, and tucked that little secret away forever.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> I mean come on! 'The husband just stood there crying' I would have at least said "Excuse me old chap would you mind vacating my wife's orifices or I shall be forced to indulge in some very unpleasant fisticuffs with you."


The H in the story was a yoga instructor. If'd you'd ever met any American male yoga instructors, you'd believe it.


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> The H in the story was a yoga instructor. If'd you'd ever met any American male yoga instructors, you'd believe it.


And I do believe this H later admitted he'd been plowing another garden himself. 

When you bust your spouse for doing the same thing you are doing - it changes the game. 

I'm pretty darned alpha myself, and have a lot of pride, but being guilty yourself affects how you react to your own spouse's transgressions.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> The H in the story was a yoga instructor. If'd you'd ever met any American male yoga instructors, you'd believe it.


 That bad huh! Never met any yoga instructors anywhere. Looks like a waste of time to me.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> That bad huh! Never met any yoga instructors anywhere. Looks like a waste of time to me.


Read that link about yoga I put up. Sounds like it could be useful. Just microchip your wife before you send her.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Thundarr said:


> :iagree: people are compulsive.
> 
> Guilt helps keep us in check. Many a good married girls have been nailed by a creeper ONCE, felt the guilt, and tucked that little secret away forever.


One statistic I have come across is that 80% of affairs go undetected.. Very sobering.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

old timer said:


> For discussion's sake, let's say one spouse "checked out" of the marriage for an extended period of time - several years, for instance.
> 
> The "abandoned spouse" is not necessarily looking to begin an affair, but he/she, over time, becomes gradually more susceptible and open for another person to fill that emotional and/or physical void. EA's generally lead to PA's if they continue long enough.
> 
> I'm not justifying an affair, but unfortunately, that's the way things unfold.


This was my situation where my wife checked out and started dressing and acting single. I however did not have an affair, I kept trying to reach her and resuscitate the marriage. I intentionally kept my boundaries. One of my coworkers recently told me she thought she had done something wrong and that I didn't like her, when in fact I like and respect her. My behavior was colder than I thought it was.

But yes there are low points and there are temptations. If both happen at the same time I can understand how an abandoned spouse who feels hopeless could in a moment of weakness make the decision to stray.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Do you know what has really sickened me about this whole thread. Not 'the player' but the pro athlete story.
This is one story that I really wish I could unread. As I think Warlock said "a part of me died". I felt unmanned and emasculated just reading it.

I was absolutely disgusted with the sh1tty morals and utter callousness shown by the athlete.
He knew the womans husband was upset and angry but still got him ejected from the club and then did his wife. What kind of big headed, self entitled piece of sh1t does that? Yes I know the woman was coming on to him big time but he could have probably had his pick of many women at that club. Disgusting.

Don't know quite what psychological 'thing' was going through my head at the time but shortly after reading this I took my wife to bed, and have done several times since to try and erase the thoughts from my head with some success.

I can't even imagine being the husband in this situation. If it was me she would be history, I'd do my best to get the club and the athlete involved in messy divorce etc. Probably all to no avail but I just couldn't let it rest.

What I found strange (this may just be an omission by you guys) is that not one of you even questioned the athletes 'right' to do this. It's almost as though you accept that his awesome alphaness for being a famous athlete allows him to ride rough shod over another man with complete impunity.

Mach, you mention that you have had experience of such similar scenarios, what have you seen to be the general outcome of these things? I have certainly seen instances in the UK where athletes and other famous men/women do not get away scot free with this sort of behaviour.

Again I don't want to be overly cynical but Deadspin does have a rep (or so I've discovered, of rumour mongering and humorous/deliberately controversial stories).
Perhaps it's the always wanting to see the good side of people part of me but I can't believe that in a perfectly happy marriage some woman would be so overcome by this athlete that she would immediately drop everthing for a 15 minute shag with some famous guy while her husband was there. There had to have been major problems in the marriage before this.

Strangely, typing this has helped me deal with the disgust I felt.

Lastly I just would like to point out that these sports stars don't always get it good.
This from another site:

As reported in a recent Sports Illustrated article, 78% of NFL players are broke within 2 years of retiring from football. Sixty percent of NBA players are bankrupt five years after leaving their sport. The divorce rate for NFL players is estimated at 80%… for NBA players 82%.2 Tools necessary to take advantage of incredible opportunities weren’t obtained in time. Athletic and financial blessing couldn’t overcome worldview and value system deficiencies.

This made me feel better and if it happens to that NBA guy I'd piss my pants laughing.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Thundarr said:


> Yes it was omitted but he's slime. The guy in that story was a filthy piece of sh!t that I hope mismanaged his money and is now in debt. He deserves worse. It takes a worthless kind of man and woman to enjoy f*cking under those circumstances or to even be capable of it.
> 
> What's even worse is I imagined the husband being needy and clingy and BEGGING the wh0re back.


He left her at the bar. I expect/hope he dumped her. None of the guys I grew up with would have taken her back. If the story was true, I expect that realationship was already on thin ice. Actually there are several threads here where the wife is fooling around with musicians, gym trainers and yoga instructors which ,to me , puts them in the same category of women

Back in the day, I knew several girls that were band groupies. Thinking back on it though, none of them ever had boy friends for very long.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Whether consciously or unconsciously men segregate women into two categories. And sadly, the wife in this case falls under the category of PUMP AND DUMP, its a shame that the husband didn't realize the kind of girl she was. Some women are just not worth the commitment as are some men.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> I was absolutely disgusted with the sh1tty morals and utter callousness shown by the athlete.
> He knew the womans husband was upset and angry but still got him ejected from the club and then did his wife. What kind of big headed, self entitled piece of sh1t does that? Yes I know the woman was coming on to him big time but he could have probably had his pick of many women at that club. Disgusting.
> 
> .


That's where your thinking and my thinking would differ from someone who is in it only for the pvssy. I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I had an affair with a married woman in my early 20's and I didn't think nor care about the husband, in my eyes he was a loser who couldn't satisfy his wife. I had lose morals or to better explain it I guess I never realized how a long term relationship could be or how susceptible people were to having affairs. If I had had read such an article 35 years ago I'd probably be thinking that this guy was the real deal, now it just makes me sick to the stomach.

I feel nothing but pity for the husband who had a slvt for a wife. I just hope he's with a much better person now.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> What I found strange (this may just be an omission by you guys) is that not one of you even questioned the athletes 'right' to do this. It's almost as though you accept that his awesome alphaness for being a famous athlete allows him to ride rough shod over another man with complete impunity.



What is here for any of us to question the athlete's right to do what he did to the BH?

There is no discussion of right. He was legally right to do what he did. I don't think a court would rule against him.

As to was he "right" to use his status to have the bouncers throw out the BH and then bang the WW? 

That was morally wrong.

But what could we do now?

Nothing.

What could we of done if there at the time?

Nothing. Probably have the bouncers throw us out also.

All we can do is feel the BH's pain. The karma bus is not coming for that OM. He is not going to lose his contract. His team and league is not going to do anything. And if the story be came public the line of WW's waiting to do him is not going to get shorter.

Some people are rich enough to own the karma bus, or at least pay off the driver.

Not fair. But in life many never get justice.



Edit to add this a WW goes to leave the house to bang her OM the BH can't force her to not go. If he tries, WW calls the cops, BH arrested, hauled off to jail, WW then stays home and has OM come bang her in BH's bed.

WW happy OM banged her and they saved money on motel.


BH finds WW in motel room with OM. They refuse to open door. Cops called because husband is banging on room door, insisting management opens door which they refuse to do. Cops called husband told he will be arrested if he does not leave/or is arrested.

OM and WW still bang.


Are these two examples just?
Are they more or less worse then the pro athlete story?


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> There's a percentage of people who think "get what you can" in all aspects of life. In different circumstances, this athlete would have been jacking a TV during a riot due to the same mindset. Or finding a wallet and pocketing the money. These are disgusting people to me regardless of age, gender, or ethnicity and there are many of them.


In this case of course you have to realize that the WW would have drooled over any other pro athlete as does any rock groupie. Its pointless to worry about someone's moral code. We would be better served by not letting anybody compromise ours and therefore not hesitate to show the door to anybody who does so. But its easier said than done, especially when you always expect your partner to not let you down and that I think is a major part of the pain of infidelity.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

theroad said:


> What is here for any of us to question the athlete's right to do what he did to the BH?
> 
> There is no discussion of right. He was legally right to do what he did. I don't think a court would rule against him.
> 
> ...




This is where the law is not in alignment with morality. In a less _civilized_ society the husband would punch out the other man, or challenge him to a duel, etc. The athlete knew there was no consequence, and it was probably a big part of his thrill and motivation to screw that woman. He got to crap all over the husband and get away with it. Athletes are very competitive people by nature and they are trained from a young age to win no matter what. So this was a dominance play by him.


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## ready2run (Dec 8, 2012)

NewM said:


> Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
> Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.


Your right in the fact that the AP made no vows and that the vast majority lies with the cheating spouse. BUT, do we all not owe other human beings the common decency to not particapate in lying, deiceving and hurting other human beings?? I try very, very hard in life not to hurt other people...even if I owe them nothing...I call it compassion. If I needed to have my sexual needs met I would be more than willing to believe there are single people in this world I could do that with. If a marriage had to end, children be hurt...a spouse wounded so deeply..I dont think I could be sexually turned on by a scumbag willing to do all of that to family for an orgasm. JMO


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

Interesting thread, thanks for posting it Warlock. I haven't read it all but I agree with those who say we are a product of our choices. The poor wife in that story (and she deserves pity) made a choice to cheat. Yes, I'm sure there were reasons, physical, emotional neglect can be really soul destroying but there are other ways to either try to fix issues in a marriage or, failing that, leave it.

I am so glad that I walked away from my EA. The wife in that story could easily have been me, but when my feet were held to the fire I couldn't betray my own values. That's what it comes down to. The wife in that story didn't respect herself enough to say no to this guy. Sad story, but a good reminder that the long view really is the way to go in situations like this. Cheating is never worth it. Never. I challenge anyone here to show me a story where it was.


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## Shadow_Nirvana (Jan 1, 2013)

So basically if someone of a higher statue passes you, your wife is gonna drop you like hot coal just to have a night's fun with him.

Man, thanks guys, really, I did want triggers and anxiety and depression acting up. 

What is the cure for this? Every woman would say they would never do this, but apparently a very high percentage of them do.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

Shadow_Nirvana said:


> So basically if someone of a higher statue passes you, your wife is gonna drop you like hot coal just to have a night's fun with him.
> 
> Man, thanks guys, really, I did want triggers and anxiety and depression acting up.
> 
> What is the cure for this? Every woman would say they would never do this, but apparently a very high percentage of them do.


Don't pick shallow morons to marry? Don't ascribe the juvenile and ****ty behavior of SOME women to ALL women?


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## Shadow_Nirvana (Jan 1, 2013)

AnnieAsh said:


> Don't pick shallow morons to marry? Don't ascribe the juvenile and ****ty behavior of SOME women to ALL women?


Ever heard of bait and switch? I'm sure the married chick ,the one who banged the NBA player after he made her husband get thrown out, wasn't a raging slvt before the opportunity rose. They aren't purple skinned, they don't have "vvhore" written on their foreheads.

And I never said all women do this, I said a very high percentage. %5 of women doing this would a too high percentage for such sh!tty behaviour. But obviously more do if we are sitting her looking at the CWI thread.


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## Ever-Man (Jan 25, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> Am I naive or is it really that easy? Do you believe this story? Some of it might be true I suppose but it still comes across a little as bragging. A little like the other one that has been posted. It seems a bit penthouse.
> 
> I hope some husband catches up with him one day if it is true and punches his smug face in.


Agree, I do not believe this story, with one caveat, this is the smoothest, skilled, best looking wife-predator in the city.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

It can't be true..
He used a condom 

Anyway. It is not about him. It is about her. She chose to do it. I love the bit about her "not getting attention". She just wanted to fck someone else and did, despite the risk. She chose to do it where she did and she knew that her husband had a key.
That's it. 

Not a victim. Not confused. Not in a fog. 

She felt entitled to it.

Grrr.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Shadow_Nirvana said:


> What is the cure for this? Every woman would say they would never do this, but apparently a very high percentage of them do.


My opinion; pass the little sh!t test and you won't have to deal with the big ones. The women in this story obviously had no respect for her guy and he was probably a large part of that. Btw sh!t test are not intentionally devious. They are part of what men and women both do by nature IMO.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

F. That story was deep.


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## Shadow_Nirvana (Jan 1, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> My opinion; pass the little sh!t test and you won't have to deal with the big ones. The women in this story obviously had no respect for her guy and he was probably a large part of that. Btw sh!t test are not intentionally devious. They are part of what men and women both do by nature IMO.


Hmmm, yes this does ring true. Lol, at least it gives a sense that if you do the right things, you won't be the poor schmuck who gets thrown of a club while your wife is being pounded by a NBA player. Comforting:rofl:


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## old timer (Nov 23, 2012)

No, if you do the right things - your chick won't have the balls to screw you over. Cause she would've known WAY before something like this that you won't tolerate disrespect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

I will NOT let my wh0re wife dictate my next relationship. But neither will I be a fool again. 

As in any relationship eventually serious talks come about. I will make sure the next woman will know and understand she will be out the door if I even suspect something. No questions or explanations needed. 

I will make sure my finances are protected as well.


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## ironman (Feb 6, 2013)

I read a bunch of posts in this thread that echo disbelief. I hate to break it to you fellas, but for a good looking, smooth talking fella with bad intentions ... it really is that easy. Oh sure, not with EVERY women .. but definitely with a large percentage.

I've watched faithful, happily married women transform into potential adultresses simply at a hello from such guys.

Nothing in the OP's player story struck me as remarkable at all. Just sad reality.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Now what if the wife is the player? What is the wife finds it naive that this young player is actually just that a player to be played with.
There is one wife ( mine) that purposely go after the player, using them cuz there so easy to use.........its when the player becomes attached that scares off the wife that just wants to have fun.

From my experience its the player that lays it on too thick that pushes the horny house wife a way. I think Thorburns wife is an example of how wives use guys for there own selfish need...never wanting to leave there marriage for their boytoy, but rather find another boytoy that isn't so needy.

In short are these players using these wives or are the wives using the player?

Granted in my experience, must players new the score, but for the few that tried to get attached to my wife, they were cast aside. Believe it or not guys , even players can get attached to your WW. And I quote " I broke alot of hearts " Mrs. the-guy Feb. 2010


Every time I read a story about a player and a wife w/kids they alway state the great sex, and with that comes an attachement that makes these guys want more but can't except the fact that some of these wifes make the rules and these guys don't like these kinds of rules when these guys arent used to being dictated too.

I guess that when the player is turned into a boytoy!LOL

Anyway thats my experience with my FWW


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

So if we can't read their minds, fulfill every little knawing hunger, take off work to hand hold, scre_w like a porn star, and have a lower BMI than Fabio, we are leaving the poor things twisting in the wind, just waiting to be plucked like ripe fruit....

I know for a fact a lot of that is true. I was not meeting my wifes emotional needs, and caught her having "My husband is such a pri_ck conversations with her toxic GF....HER husband really is a pri_ck.....

I really think keeping a woman happy in a marriage is one of the toughist tasks on the planet...

At a time when our marriage was at it's lowest my wife says she thought things were fine.....No sex, disrespect and attitude on her part, almost daily fights, screaming rages on her part, entire days of endless rants about how much her life sucked... .....Was OK?.....

At times her selective memory leaves me speachless....

If you want sex...Thats all you want...
If you don't want sex....You don't think she is desireable....
Make lots of money, and you're married to your job
Make less than her, and she feels contempt for you...

The list is too long to complete, but dozens of examples of each and every one are right here in the pages of TAM.....

My wife has always been faithful. On two occasions when male friends made a play for her, I was the first to know...

I offered to give one free shooting lessons, and the other was sloppy drunk at the time, it never happened again, and I watched him like a hawk....

For the past 2-3 years our married life had become absolutely MISERABLE...

A really nice 2,000 sq ft home in a great neighborhood

4 cars....Hers is the newest...

A nice nest egg to carry us through our golden years...

And we were both miserable. I can see how under the right circumstances a woman could stray...........

She finally got IC, and then we did "The 5 love languages".

It has helped a lot....I am happier than I have been in years, and she seems a lot more content with the new improved me.....

I sincerely hope it sticks.....
'


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

@Woodchuck, she also needs to be happy with her self as an induvidual that now is learning the tools to affair proof the marriage.

At the end of the day keeping any one happy is not your task, if they can't keep them selves happy, then no one else can keep them happy.

Folks have a choice and when finding hapiness, there is a right way and a wrong way.

Never think you can make/keep someone happy..........thats on them.

In the same breath we can work on our selves as indiviaulas and with that others can reap the rewards, but to work on your self for some one elses needs doesn't make sence.

How can one make some one happy if you are not happy making that someone happy?

One has to be happy to make their spouse happy and in return that said souse is happy to make them happy in return.

One is in charge of there own happiness, so don't decieve someone cuz your unhappy........move on and be honest and walk away with integrity.............but then again its alot easier to just lie ones way out of a unhappy marriage! 

Messed up on how that works...but it is the norm these days


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## fishfast41 (Dec 12, 2010)

I found this POS's post to be real damn interesting for several reasons. First, in our screwed up ,materialistic ,me ,me,me type culture,selfishness of this magnitude on the part of both parties doesn't surprise me at all. Second, I believe this story to be true simply because I happen to be a people watcher. When I'm sitting on a barstool,I usually amuse myself by watching other people interact. I've often watched situations like the poster describes develop. Married women on a GNO are absurdly easy to spot. So are the men who target them. Some clubs and bars thrive on this sort of clientele. Last ,but certainly not least, the concept of relative morality, so prevalent in our culture,contributes to this sort of effed up behavior.


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

Shadow_Nirvana said:


> So basically if someone of a higher statue passes you, your wife is gonna drop you like hot coal just to have a night's fun with him.
> 
> Man, thanks guys, really, I did want triggers and anxiety and depression acting up.
> 
> What is the cure for this? Every woman would say they would never do this, but apparently a very high percentage of them do.


The cure will be realistically made sexbots (if women don't successfully lobby to get them banned).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fooledtwice (Jul 6, 2013)

No number six I would never do that unfortunatley. My husband I dont think feels the same. For me it is about loving my husband to bad his is to dumb to see that.


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## Brokenshadow (May 3, 2013)

Zombie thread...

Fwiw, I surf Reddit pretty frequently. This guy got trashed, posted a follow up thread with a typical mea culpa. But yeah, smelled like a troll.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

I don't know Reddit. Has this website a specific forum or something alike about relationship or infidelity? Too lazy to find out on my own!


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## Brokenshadow (May 3, 2013)

Acabado said:


> I don't know Reddit. Has this website a specific forum or something alike about relationship or infidelity? Too lazy to find out on my own!


Not really, more of a link aggregator. Post links to the site, in different subject areas, and the community votes on it. I found TAM becauseI first posted there. I was directed here by a comment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ffghtr67 (Jul 23, 2012)

God Damn it hurt to read this


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

i dont belive this women are victims crap, as i dont belive they are played as Chaparral said, affairs mostly happen to: 

1.- people that is looking for one. 
2.- people who is not looking but have the opportunity an take it. 
3.- people who get emotinal attached with someone. 

most affair for both M/W revolve around this situations, is just that the character changes depending the the sex of the person.

1.- people that is looking for one.
men(single and married).- jerk players looking anything to nail 
women(married).- slvty wives looking the interaction, frustrated women who approach players as if they will not know what will happen

2.- people who is not looking but have the opportunity an take it. 
men(married).- approached by slvty wives, approched by other single women who just dont care they status and if they like it they go for it.
Women(married).- approched by players instead of rejection flirths le it progress.

3.- people who get emotinal attached with someone. 
man.- working or being friends for years with someone from opposite sex breaking boundaries over the years.
women.- working or being friends for years with someone from opposite sex breaking boundaries over the years.

so really no victims unless someone is druged and abused.

the women that Chaparral talk about are most likely 2, opportunity, how they allow it?. they dont reject the person in the instant the flirth begin, lets be honest even if they accept the flirth as innocent women are not dump they investigete or at least talk with friends about the person of interest, there are always rumors (he is player, a jerk, dates alot, have had affirs before, is unfaithfull, etc). so front the point you are letting all of this happen you are no victim is just that the interaction id different.

ironically the ones who are not forgiven most of the time are the ones that begin as most innocent, number 3, maybe chapal will say the are being played but i have know real players and they dont sh*t where they eat (even if they choose coworkers do it from different departaments to not have collateral damage)., normally the ones involved in number 3 suffer the most, hurth direct family or best friends, lost their jobs, both part involved lost their spouses, and they sometimes married against everybody hatefull stare.


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## The Lonely Stoner (Aug 3, 2013)

NewM said:


> Why do people focus so much on OM,OM has no vows to you,if affair happens its because of your spouse.
> Even this guy,he wasn't tricking them into having an affair,he was just there to do it with them and if it wasn't him it would've been someone else.


Having a job, wife and family are tough. The wife (much to a husbands peril) tends becomes the middle child. Job takes up way to much time for the return. Children (family) horde what's left of your energy/resources. 

That leaves very little time/energy to wine & dine your wife. In all actuality, you begin to look to HER for relief from your mounting stress. 

Now you have entered the twilight zone. The "love you but not in love" speech is on the horizon. So is the new hairdo. New make-up. A whole new attitude in general. This new character appears to be your wife. But she is not. This person is a stunt double. And she is ready to do battle.

Next is finding out you 'neglected' (root cause of wives cheating) her by working & taking care of your family obligations. But in your "messed up" head, you thought you were doing all that stuff FOR HER!!!!!! And bless your heart, you probably were. Just to no avail. Because that could not be farther from what she wanted (and hell yes, she should have told you, but, you also should have known, works both ways).

She'd rather you spend all that time and effort in her. Marriage is not the end game. It just gives you the exclusive right to win your wife's heart REPEATEDLY. Sort of like a lifetime probationary period. You can never do "too" good. But you can fail. You can be fired. And you don't necessarily get any notice or forewarning. Basically if you are not doing something (progressively bigger & better) to "keep" your wife, then by definition, you are 'losing' your wife. The warning is not going to come from her. It must come from you. By analysis of your actions in the marriage.

You most likely drove her into the arms of a player. Hard truth. But it happens to people like us everyday. Most guys have no clue how to "STAY" married. It is an art in and of itself.


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## MCKD (Jan 21, 2014)

I do not know if I would have been able to handle that situation.


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