# New boobs and divorce... do they go hand in hand?



## discouraged1

So the wifey of 20+ years (age 41) decides to bring up getting a boob job lately... she says a friend cautioned her about the relationship and how it may lead to divorce. She brought it up to me. We have just started to discuss but now I am wondering what are the motivating factors for a 40+ year old woman to want new boobs.. other than the obvious?
Thoughts about what may be going through her head ladies? Thank you!

BTW I have only been supportive and have told her it is her body and she needs to do it for the right reasons. She has only told me so far she wants to get bigger ones because she has trouble finding bras that fit. :scratchhead:


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## tacoma

There have been 4 or 5 husbands here posting that their wifes breast job was the beginning of the end
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma

discouraged1 said:


> She has only told me so far she wants to get bigger ones because she has trouble finding bras that fit. :scratchhead:


That's bull**** & you know it.

" I only want a penis enlargement because I can't find a jock strap that fits"

See what I did there?


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tigger

Maybe they are feeling dissatisfied with the marriage before getting the boobs so the boobs really aren't the cause but the dissatisfaction before is the cause?

I was in my mid 40s when I got mine and I was already divorced a couple of years. 

My reasons. I had always wanted them but couldn't see spending the money on them at the time, it had nothing to do with any guy, after my divorce my career really took off so I could easily afford them, the timing was right.

I know I am sort of the odd ball woman not thinking too much like others but those are my reasons.

I am married now and would like to have more cosmetic surgery done but my reasons for not doing it yet are being chicken and I would like to lose a few pounds first.

There there you have it.


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## Hope1964

I am 48 and have never wanted a boob job of any kind. No foreign bodies in mine, thank you very much!

I know that people having an affair go to the gym and lose weight and stuff - maybe they get boob jobs too?? I dunno. All I know is that since my hubby likes my boobs just the way they are, there's no need to change them. And if he didn't like them, he could suffer.

Has she always wanted a boob job, or is this a recent wish?


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## LookingForTheSun

After my hubs had an affair, I decided that it was time I started doing things for myself and if we could not work through it, I was not going to have any hangups about my body if I had to jump back into the dating pool. I was 38, had 2 children, lost almost 30 lbs and most of my boobs. You can't exercise for firm, bigger boobs.

I had always wanted them after my second daughter was born to get some perkiness back, but never could justify spending that kind of money on me.

So, It has been exactly 1 year since I got mine, a nice full C/small D. I wanted to be able to run and didn't want them to be the first thing anyone looked at. I did not want that kind of attention.

I LOVE them. I can't imagine wearing a bikini without them. We have been in R for 11 months and I have no plans on going anywhere as long as he keeps on the straight and narrow....and there you gto


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## discouraged1

tacoma said:


> That's bull**** & you know it.
> 
> " I only want a penis enlargement because I can't find a jock strap that fits"
> 
> See what I did there?
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OH.. yeah I know that is total BS but she hasn't come clean yet!:iagree:


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## discouraged1

No I have never heard this before until the last 3 weeks or so! That is why it is on my radar as a red flag.


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## discouraged1

SO I may try that logic out when I get home tonight.. I guess I will find out if she thinks I am big enough.. LOL!


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## SadSamIAm

I think it all depends on your relationship and history. If there hasn't been cheating and you are getting along great, then I don't see a problem. Many women just want to look better. 

My wife is a B cup. If she wanted a C, I would be fine with it. If she wanted bigger, then I am thinking she is looking for attention.

Also, my marriage sucks, so her wanting a boob job would be a red flag due to that.


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## discouraged1

Hope1964 said:


> I am 48 and have never wanted a boob job of any kind. No foreign bodies in mine, thank you very much!
> 
> I know that people having an affair go to the gym and lose weight and stuff - maybe they get boob jobs too?? I dunno. All I know is that since my hubby likes my boobs just the way they are, there's no need to change them. And if he didn't like them, he could suffer.
> 
> Has she always wanted a boob job, or is this a recent wish?


Very recent... she has been critical in the past of other women who have done this. I joked one time and she got real mad at me. I feel red flags!


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## keko

Are you sure she doesn't have someone else on the side that she's trying to impress?


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## Hope1964

discouraged1 said:


> I feel red flags!


What else is a red flag? Don't jump to conclusions.


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## discouraged1

Hope1964 said:


> What else is a red flag? Don't jump to conclusions.


The only one so far.. but it just seems out of place to me.


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## discouraged1

keko said:


> Are you sure she doesn't have someone else on the side that she's trying to impress?


No but it would be out of character... you can never know for sure though!


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## Hope1964

discouraged1 said:


> The only one so far.. but it just seems out of place to me.


If my hubby did something that seemed 'out of place' I would ask him about it, and I would expect a frank answer. With no other red flags happening, can't you just talk to her and tell her that her reason sounds fishy and that you don't like the way you're feeling about this and can she tell you the real reason please to set your mind at ease.


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## Anon Pink

I got a new set and I LOVE them! I had never been happy with my breasts and just when I was almost ready to sort of accept them, partial mastectomy. So, reconstructed, new and improved and I LOVE them! My H would have wondered what was happening if I had stopping complaining about my breasts. They looked ridiculous in a bathing suit and during the summer I live in bathing suits. I get what your wife is saying about better fitting bras, not to mention clothing.

I've heard that statistic too and I can see how it would happen. Self confidence goes through the roof! Really, imagine if there was such a surgery for men. If they could enlarge their small penises, they absolutely would in a heart beat!

Do you really want to hold your wife back by keeping her down, or not supporting her wish to go up?


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## terrence4159

ok some of the women here are talking about how they got them and thier husband wanted them to get them, that is not his question he said is wife got mad when he joked about her getting them..she not to thier face but made fun of women for getting them then out of the blue wants them yeah its a red flag!!

my advice sit her down and ask her why she wants them and where did it come from. if you feel she is honest then you got your answer if shes all over the place i would start snooping computer/phone and see what is on the side!


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## discouraged1

Anon Pink said:


> I got a new set and I LOVE them! I had never been happy with my breasts and just when I was almost ready to sort of accept them, partial mastectomy. So, reconstructed, new and improved and I LOVE them! My H would have wondered what was happening if I had stopping complaining about my breasts. They looked ridiculous in a bathing suit and during the summer I live in bathing suits. I get what your wife is saying about better fitting bras, not to mention clothing.
> 
> I've heard that statistic too and I can see how it would happen. Self confidence goes through the roof! Really, imagine if there was such a surgery for men. If they could enlarge their small penises, they absolutely would in a heart beat!
> 
> Do you really want to hold your wife back by keeping her down, or not supporting her wish to go up?


I have no intention of holding her back, it's her body and I will support her 100% and she knows this. It has just came from out of the blue and is so out of character for her. So of course my thoughts turn to try and understand her logic or reasoning.


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## discouraged1

Hope1964 said:


> If my hubby did something that seemed 'out of place' I would ask him about it, and I would expect a frank answer. With no other red flags happening, can't you just talk to her and tell her that her reason sounds fishy and that you don't like the way you're feeling about this and can she tell you the real reason please to set your mind at ease.


Sure but we both know that this is too easy... I will try it but won't expect she will tell me any more than I already know.


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## Cosmos

Not finding bras to fit is nonsense, IMO. How is your marriage generally?

It's not unusual for some women entering middle-age to suddenly want a complete make-over. Could this be the case with your W?

I don't think a boob job is necessarily a sign that she's thinking of flying the nest. Perhaps she's feeling less attractive for some reason...


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## EnjoliWoman

To address your initial inquiry, I would say there are a lot of women who had surgery to impress someone else or felt they weren't desired or appreciated in their marriage and got them to attract that from others. 

If your marriage is strong, I wouldn't worry. Maybe checking out the self-help section, get some good books and start to share with her and make sure the marriage is solid while she looks into the surgery is a good idea. You can even 'joke' that she's hot already and with the improvements you're going to have to step up your game to keep the men off her *winkwink*. 

At 41 yes, we feel good about who we are but for those who have had constant insecurities it can also be a time to finally do something for ourselves after devoting years to kids and husband.

I had smaller perky B cup breasts in my 20s, had a child and they dropped a bit. Gained weight and they filled out. They don't point down but I'd do a lift and a mini tummy tuck (due to birth) in an instant if I had the money. Then again I'm divorced and admittedly it would be partially for me and partially a benefit in the dating game.

Edited to add - not finding bras is BS. There are thousands of styles and sizes out there. You can call her out on this by suggesting she get a good bra fitting and you'll buy her some new, pretty lingerie as long as she models it for you!


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## Shaggy

He's a thing to think about, she's already got you. She's attracted you, and you desire her. She doesn't need to go under a knife to attract you.

So who are they for if it isn't you?

The question you are asking really is are they only for her?


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## tacoma

Anon Pink said:


> I've heard that statistic too and I can see how it would happen. Self confidence goes through the roof! Really, imagine if there was such a surgery for men. If they could enlarge their small penises, they absolutely would in a heart beat!
> 
> Do you really want to hold your wife back by keeping her down, or not supporting her wish to go up?


How is preferring she doesn't have unnecessary surgery "Holding her back" ?

My wife asked me awhile back what I thought about her getting a boob job.
I told her I would prefer she didn't because it's an elective surgery that frequently has long term complications.
I also have a very strong preference for natural breasts on a woman.

Had she elected to have the surgery she would have done so without my support as I'm not one to support what I see as an obvious error.

Just because I married her doesn't mean I have to support every crazy idea she comes up with
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pink_lady

discouraged1 said:


> Very recent... she has been critical in the past of other women who have done this. I joked one time and she got real mad at me. I feel red flags!


I think it's pretty common for women who are not happy with their breast size/shape to criticize breast implant surgery. I'm sure I did before I got mine done. Cognitive dissonance.

On the one hand we want great-looking boobs. On the other hand, we think its ridiculous that our culture (we're bombarded with images of the 'ideal' that almost no one can fit) worships t*ts and here we are- buying into it too!

I got mine when I was 30- I always disliked the shape, and they were too small imo and did not go with the rest of my body. I did tons of research. In the end I decided life was short and I thought not being self-conscious about my breasts would improve it somewhat.

The decision had nothing to do with my bf at the time.

So, I certainly would not assume your W suddenly toying with the idea means trouble in your marriage. If she goes ahead with it, just be concerned, make sure she has consults with several doctors and does her own research beforehand.


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## pink_lady

tacoma said:


> it's an elective surgery that frequently has long term complications.
> I also have a very strong preference for natural breasts on a woman.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


These are all extremely reasonable reasons to object to a wife getting a BA (breast augmentation).

Yes, there are lots of possible complications- one of the reasons anyone considering it MUST do lots of research on their own (NOT with a doctor who is trying to sell you).

I wasn't married when I got mine, but if I was and my husband had a strong preference for natural boobs, I wouldn't have done it. Though, mine were so unattractive, I can't imagine anyone having a strong preference for them, ha!


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## tacoma

pink_lady said:


> I wasn't married when I got mine, but if I was and my husband had a strong preference for natural boobs, I wouldn't have done it. Though, mine were so unattractive, I can't imagine anyone having a strong preference for them, ha!


If my wife had done it I would have simply accepted it and moved on.

Her breasts aren`t why I married her.


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## Anon Pink

The debate is really about how strong a persons objections are over how strongly the other person feels about the breasts in question.

OP, If you STRONGLY feel your wife is just perfect the way she is, AND she is simply toying with ways to chase away signs of age and regain a little confidence our aging bodies can effect, it seems this is something you two can easily work out.


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## Chelle D

"Other than the obvious" is not obvious to me..?..

What are your obvious reasons?

That she's 40 & her breasts are starting to sag too much & she needs a tuck/or enlargement to make them look perky again?
Or that you think she wants to impress someone else?

I also want to mention.. I have a friend at work, that was completely flat. I mean, like maybe a -A cup at that. Her & her hubby decided to get the implants to a respectible B-C size. They have been happily married for over 22+ years. She got the larger breast size about 15 yrs ago. I don't see that it has negatively affected their marriage at all.

If the wife in this case (OP), if she is completely flat & has been unhappy with her size for all these years.. Is it possible , that just now in her prime of mid-life crises & maybe a point in her life that she can actually have the procedure done & can do something about a negative self image that she's carried with her for 25 years (since teens)... That NOW she want's to do something about it??

WHy does it have to be that she is thinking of improving herself for another man?


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## Chelle D

She could have been critical of other women doing it in the past, because of jealousy. Even unconscious jealousy. That she would really have wanted to do it herself, but didn't have the means to do it.

Like the person that hates & always cuts down that "Rich son of a b...tch". He either feels threatened by the Rich man & the rich man's power.. Or he's jealous of the rich man. Doesn't mean he wouldn't welcome the chance to be a rich man if he could.


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## Entropy3000

discouraged1 said:


> I have no intention of holding her back, it's her body and I will support her 100% and she knows this. It has just came from out of the blue and is so out of character for her. So of course my thoughts turn to try and understand her logic or reasoning.


She may just want you to assure her you find her sexy now.

That said and this is controversial but my wife and I are married. We are not free to alter our bodies.
We are not free to do anything just because it is our body and we can do what we want. 

We follow. POJA. Policy Of Joint Agreement. 

Where do you draw the line with, its my body and I will do what I want with it?


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## Anon Pink

Entropy3000 said:


> Huh? Holding her back? From what?
> 
> Plastic surgery is a slippery slope. It relates to self esteem issues and in her case hitting 40.
> 
> Breasts are not a penis. Breasts are an obvious sexual characteristic. Her intent is to display them.
> 
> Indeed both relate to self esteem and confidence.
> 
> But I would want to know more about what was going on with my wife.
> 
> What is her social life like? Is getting the boob related to that? Idunno.
> 
> This may be a wakeup call for the other person to step up the marital heat. But many women are interested in external validation so this may not help.


To answer your first question, holding her back from doing something as drastic as surgery, to feel good about herself. Perhaps this is something best understood by other women and difficult for men to really understand? Its complicated. I'm sorry I don't know a better way to explain it but feeling good about ourselves, feeling good in the clothing we wear, feeling good when not wearing the clothing, can be significantly impacted by how we feel about our breasts. Significantly! I can't underscore that enough. I know a lot of women who had BA surgery and every single one is thrilled. I know a few women who sort of want it but they may be wanting that sudden boost of confidence more than specifically altering their body. I know a fellow survivor who had double mastectomy and prior to cancer she loved her body with all it's flaws and decided she didn't want reconstruction. There are too many variables to make any sort of sweeping generalized statement about greeting a boob job. 

Entropy, I think your statement about both partners enthusiastically agreeing is important for the OP to contemplate. Obviously, there seems to be a disconnect in understanding each other.


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## pink_lady

Entropy3000 said:


> That said and this is controversial but my wife and I are married. We are not free to alter our bodies. We are not free to do anything just because it is our body and we can do what we want.
> 
> We follow. POJA. Policy Of Joint Agreement.


I wish my H had followed this policy before he got a stupid tattoo of his favorite rock band's logo on his bicep. :scratchhead:

He is in his mid-40's.

Every time I see it I think, "oh, GOD." Sigh.

/hijack.


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## richie33

My wife wants to get a boob job and basically I told her I support her in whatever decision she makes.
All I asked is for her to do all the research on the pros and cons. Its been a year and she still wants them
so I can't say its a rash decision.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000

Anon Pink said:


> To answer your first question, holding her back from doing something as drastic as surgery, to feel good about herself. Perhaps this is something best understood by other women and difficult for men to really understand? Its complicated. I'm sorry I don't know a better way to explain it but feeling good about ourselves, feeling good in the clothing we wear, feeling good when not wearing the clothing, can be significantly impacted by how we feel about our breasts. Significantly! I can't underscore that enough. I know a lot of women who had BA surgery and every single one is thrilled. I know a few women who sort of want it but they may be wanting that sudden boost of confidence more than specifically altering their body. I know a fellow survivor who had double mastectomy and prior to cancer she loved her body with all it's flaws and decided she didn't want reconstruction. There are too many variables to make any sort of sweeping generalized statement about greeting a boob job.
> 
> Entropy, I think your statement about both partners enthusiastically agreeing is important for the OP to contemplate. Obviously, there seems to be a disconnect in understanding each other.


The whole getting surgery to deal with esteem issues is a delicate situation. Not to be taken lightly. But as a husband the why would really matter to me.

The OP never stated whether his wife was used to going out partying or anyhting like that. But if a woman is doing that stuff AND she is getting her boobs augmented AND she is doing things to draw attention from other men I think a husband would a be a fool to not question this stuff.

I am NOT saying that this is always the case. It does cross the mind however. I am just saying that the wanting this may be a symptom of another issue. If there is a real reason to do something like this then I would expect a husband to understand. Personally I like natural breasts by far. I love my wifes breasts because they are hers.

Not sure if the OP is going to just ask the question and not come back for comment or what.


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## thalia

I always said I'd never have one done. Women who did that were vain and there was no reason for it, etc. Then I had 7 kids and was left with no boobs whatsoever. lol! The rest of me held up great. Still a size 2 but no boobs. I always felt self conscious in a bathing suit and really couldn't find bras that fit because it was just a lot of skin. So I got a boob job. I love it! I didn't do it for attention but to feel better about myself. My husband's insecurities got the better of him and now we're divorcing but it was not because of my boob job.


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## thalia

Also, it may have come out to the blue for you but I bet she's been thinking about it for a while and is just now bringing it up. I know I always had that habit, thinking on things for a while and then when I talked with hubby about it couldn't understand why he didn't make a decision right away. I recognized that and after we had baby #4, when I first started thinking about a boob job, I brought it up to him. As something I would want in the future when we were done having kids. So it wasn't a surprise when I said I want to do it now.


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## Entropy3000

thalia said:


> I always said I'd never have one done. Women who did that were vain and there was no reason for it, etc. Then I had 7 kids and was left with no boobs whatsoever. lol! The rest of me held up great. Still a size 2 but no boobs. I always felt self conscious in a bathing suit and really couldn't find bras that fit because it was just a lot of skin. So I got a boob job. I love it! I didn't do it for attention but to feel better about myself. *.My husband's insecurities got the better of him and now we're divorcing but it was not because of my boob job*


Wow. Your husbands insecurities caused you to divorce. And the boob job had nothing to do with it.

Ok sure we have to take your word on that ... But statistically you fall into the category of divrocing after you had this. Even if it had nothing to do with it. You just turned 40 how long ago did you do this. Was your hubby ok with you doing it? 

What was your hubby insecure about?


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## hawx20

My wife just turned 40 and she wants one. Her size is perfect but she just hates them sagging. Shes trying to beat father time and shes a major workout nut.

I love her breasts even if they arent as perky as they once were. I will support her because they will bring me just as much pleasure too...


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## MrK

Let's concentrate on the obvious red flags

1 - It seems obvious that "I can't find bra's that fit" was a lie. Why?

2 - She always had a problem with women that wanted one? And now she's one of those women? Why did she have a problem with it before? Why is it different now?


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## Graceemay

Entropy3000 said:


> Wow. Your husbands insecurities caused you to divorce. And the boob job had nothing to do with it.
> 
> Ok sure we have to take your word on that ... But statistically you fall into the category of divrocing after you had this. Even if it had nothing to do with it. You just turned 40 how long ago did you do this. Was your hubby ok with you doing it?
> 
> What was your hubby insecure about?



Was your husband completely supportive of you having the "boob job"?
And I would also like to know what insecurities caused your divorce.
Sounds like you were the one with some insecurities making you want to have the "boob job" in the first place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WasDecimated

Years ago, my wife started talking seriously about boob jobs and tummy tucks. She was 38 at the time. I was always happy with her physically...in fact, I lusted after her. She always looked great to me but after 3 kids her already big boobs were not sitting as high as she wanted and her tummy was not as tight. My response to her was always honest. I loved the way she looked so if she was serious she should take time to think this over and make sure it was for the right reasons. She didn't have the money herself so this was something I would have to pay for. 

Personally I was worried about the hidden reasons behind her new desire for surgery. With her clothes on, super bra and spanks in place, she looked absolutely awesome. This made me think that she was more worried about what she looked like naked. If I was the only one that ever saw her naked, and I was loved her body as is, why would she still want surgery?

Simple answer. As it turned out, I was not the only one who was to see her naked. I found out she started cheating a short time later.

I feel deep insecurities play a major roll in some plastic surgeries...and all cheating. The surgery is to boost their confidence but it is not a cure for the real issues that lie with in. The surgery becomes a Bandaid that temporarily masks their insecurities and allows them to attract more attention to further boost their hungry egos or to supply them with more options. The enhancements will give them a higher sex ranking and they could attract a higher sex ranking partner. What could come next...cheating and divorce.

Of course this does not apply to everyone who elects surgery. An emotionally healthy person would keep things in perspective despite their new after market accessories and realize the extra attention was not the attention that one should desire and that the only attention that mattered was from their spouse.

Yes, we are divorced now. I'm glad I didn't invest in those improvements for her POSOM to enjoy.


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## discouraged1

Cosmos said:


> Not finding bras to fit is nonsense, IMO. How is your marriage generally?
> 
> It's not unusual for some women entering middle-age to suddenly want a complete make-over. Could this be the case with your W?
> 
> I don't think a boob job is necessarily a sign that she's thinking of flying the nest. Perhaps she's feeling less attractive for some reason...


I would say our marriage is ok.. has some issues as all do. It has been rocky but that was a few years ago.


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## discouraged1

Chelle D said:


> "Other than the obvious" is not obvious to me..?..
> 
> What are your obvious reasons?
> 
> That she's 40 & her breasts are starting to sag too much & she needs a tuck/or enlargement to make them look perky again?
> Or that you think she wants to impress someone else?
> 
> I also want to mention.. I have a friend at work, that was completely flat. I mean, like maybe a -A cup at that. Her & her hubby decided to get the implants to a respectible B-C size. They have been happily married for over 22+ years. She got the larger breast size about 15 yrs ago. I don't see that it has negatively affected their marriage at all.
> 
> If the wife in this case (OP), if she is completely flat & has been unhappy with her size for all these years.. Is it possible , that just now in her prime of mid-life crises & maybe a point in her life that she can actually have the procedure done & can do something about a negative self image that she's carried with her for 25 years (since teens)... That NOW she want's to do something about it??
> 
> WHy does it have to be that she is thinking of improving herself for another man?


Obvious in increasing the size and look of the breast.. not about impressing someone else. I want to think positive but it is so out of her character the negative thoughts tend to creep in. All of your comments are appreciated and certainly possible, most likely accurate.


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## discouraged1

Entropy3000 said:


> She may just want you to assure her you find her sexy now.
> 
> That said and this is controversial but my wife and I are married. We are not free to alter our bodies.
> We are not free to do anything just because it is our body and we can do what we want.
> 
> We follow. POJA. Policy Of Joint Agreement.
> 
> Where do you draw the line with, its my body and I will do what I want with it?


I don't really think she cares about what I think... she went out and got a tattoo (visible) and never even mentioned it to me until I returned home from out of town.


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## discouraged1

Entropy3000 said:


> The whole getting surgery to deal with esteem issues is a delicate situation. Not to be taken lightly. But as a husband the why would really matter to me.
> 
> The OP never stated whether his wife was used to going out partying or anyhting like that. But if a woman is doing that stuff AND she is getting her boobs augmented AND she is doing things to draw attention from other men I think a husband would a be a fool to not question this stuff.
> 
> I am NOT saying that this is always the case. It does cross the mind however. I am just saying that the wanting this may be a symptom of another issue. If there is a real reason to do something like this then I would expect a husband to understand. Personally I like natural breasts by far. I love my wifes breasts because they are hers.
> 
> Not sure if the OP is going to just ask the question and not come back for comment or what.


She is not a party person.. actually an introvert. NON smoker and drinker. Very conservative and private. Make me :scratchhead::scratchhead:


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## discouraged1

MrK said:


> Let's concentrate on the obvious red flags
> 
> 1 - It seems obvious that "I can't find bra's that fit" was a lie. Why?
> 
> 2 - She always had a problem with women that wanted one? And now she's one of those women? Why did she have a problem with it before? Why is it different now?


I have no answer to either... she states it is because she had to return a bunch of bras after buying them. Made her insecure. She now says she never was critical of those that purchased boobs but I know different... always critical since I can remember.


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## Anon Pink

MrK said:


> Let's concentrate on the obvious red flags
> 
> 1 - It seems obvious that "I can't find bra's that fit" was a lie. Why?
> 
> 2 - She always had a problem with women that wanted one? And now she's one of those women? Why did she have a problem with it before? Why is it different now?


MrK, having difficulty finding the right fit is actually common. Not a majority mind you, but common. Bras are fashioned to be worn under various types of clothing. A tight tee shirt requires a smooth bra, then depending on other factors in body type extra wide straps, racer backs, adjustable clear straps, halter straps, deep V plunge, underwire or not....That's just ONE kind of bra to go with ONE kind of shirt. Now add in various sizes to find the right style in that size and color! With some sizes, it's a huge PIA! 32, 34, 36 in A, B, and C cups being the most common sizes that stores carry with the whole inventory selection. If you are outside of that size range, you're going to have trouble finding a bra. And for more specialized fashions, like evening wear, or strapless/backless in the odd sizes... Forgetaboutit! 

You're second question... That needs an answer.


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## Anon Pink

Standing_Firm said:


> That is a bunch of crap!! Pretty poor excuse.......


What exactly is crap? That finding a bra that fits can be highly problematic depending on your size, or that the PIA nature of constantly hunting down the right size, type and color would be enough to cause a woman to want a boob job? Because we simply don't have enough facts for either case.

Look, I'm not fighting this battle, the OP is. But when some one posts a comment that I think is incorrect, I'm going to say so. He still hasn't been able to answer any questions that have been put to him. All we know is a wife, who previously spoke against boob jobs has changed her mind and now wants one. That right there is not enough to make any suppositions about the state of the marriage! The OP asked for women to suggest thoughts that might be going through his wife's head given the very little amount of info provided. 

That men posted about an affair, even in the absence of red flags that the OP can identify, actually says more about residual anger over affairs than the truth about his situation. Some people are calling for zebras when it is very likely a horse!

Hell, she might have simply gained or lost a few pounds and now her bras don't fit right so she grumbles about getting a boob job.


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

Every married woman I personally know with augmentation for larger size divorced their husband.


----------



## seeking sanity

I'd be suspicious of the whole thing. Unless she is totally into you and wanting to get bigger boobs because she wants to please YOU, this has exit strategy written all over it.


----------



## Racer

I’ve seen this topic come up before. It does appear to be fairly common with cheating spouses. The conclusions we reached on that thread was a boob job seems to correspond with the grooming, getting fit, outfit stuff.... just another aspect of that. Usually happened just before the affairs or during them. We believed it was linked into that “upping their sexual attraction” for going on the prowl. 

My WW was one of those who was begging for it and having a friend of hers and her hubby trying to convince me it was worth the expense (and my WW was unemployed and we were financial straits at the time). I refused. Guess what? My wife was having affairs already. The other couple? Divorced... I don’t know why. It did seem sudden though.


----------



## FalconKing

It would bother me. I like natural. I would probably be turned off if a woman felt the need to permanently put something foreign in her body to feel better about herself and only adds aesthetic value. Plus insecurities turn me off. If she just had to have this to feel better about herself it would show that she is not very confident. So this would hurt my attraction. To see all of her confidence come back when she gets her new boobs and gets excited about shopping and looking sexy again would probably cause me to end the relationship. I would be thinking, "I always thought you were sexy and tried so hard to make you feel that way. Nothing I said resonated. Now you get your boobs done and magically you are some sexy confident woman? It took this for you to like yourself more? You have no health issues. You let some guy feel your titties up and sh!t getting you all excited about putting objects in your chest and now you are forever grateful to him" Whenever I see women with fake breast I'm turned off because I know it's not anything natural or special about who she is. It's something anyone can have with the money. Personally, I don't like it.


----------



## Anon Pink

FalconKing said:


> It would bother me. I like natural. I would probably be turned off if a woman felt the need to permanently put something foreign in her body to feel better about herself and only adds aesthetic value. Plus insecurities turn me off. If she just had to have this to feel better about herself it would show that she is not very confident. So this would hurt my attraction. To see all of her confidence come back when she gets her new boobs and gets excited about shopping and looking sexy again would probably cause me to end the relationship. I would be thinking, "I always thought you were sexy and tried so hard to make you feel that way. Nothing I said resonated. Now you get your boobs done and magically you are some sexy confident woman? It took this for you to like yourself more? You have no health issues. You let some guy feel your titties up and sh!t getting you all excited about putting objects in your chest and now you are forever grateful to him" Whenever I see women with fake breast I'm turned off because I know it's not anything natural or special about who she is. It's something anyone can have with the money. Personally, I don't like it.


Ah but the difference Falcon king, is that you thought she was sexy and tried hard to make her feel that way. Not all husbands do that. Even if they say they do, what they think they're doing and what they are actually doing dont always mesh.


----------



## BFGuru

Hmmm, I don't know why anyone would want to add weight to their chest. I have had two breast surgeries to reduce mine and make them more symmetrical. I wouldn't say it was the beginning of the end. In fact, in spite of my new perky breasts, I was content to stay with my husband until HE asked out of the relationship.

Breast surgery does not always mean she wants out.


----------



## BFGuru

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Every married woman I personally know with augmentation for larger size divorced their husband.


I have the opposite experience. My SIL had hers augmented four years ago. They are still happily together. Same with my college friend, and my friend who died of breast cancer. Hers were reconstructive surgery post mastectomy though.


----------



## LookingForTheSun

I think a lot of it has to do with resentment or envy too (as to why a woman might talk bad about them but later want them). I am pretty sure I did that too - "Oh, those aren't real. Like you need them that big:.."blah, blah. Deep down I wanted them too - who wouldn't want their breasts to be firm and perky like they once were? I didn't like mine after having 2 children, they lost volume after I lost weight - dramatically - and I ended up getting a lift too. Besides my breasts, I had the body for a bikini again - and I wanted to wear one, but my breasts just weren't matching up. Because of my events, I finally gave myself permission to spend money on me and do what I wanted - no more complaining, no more wanting, no more being envious. I did it for me - because I wanted to. I didn't for the longest time becuse I was a giver...still am, but realized that I can give to myself too and it is OK. I could care less what anyone else thinks...I am happy. I like how clothes fit, like that my body looks balanced. I did my research. Based on my active lifestyle chose to go silicon under muscle, and would do it over again - FOR ME!!! Maybe, OP, she is just ready to do something for her.


----------



## FalconKing

I have a skin disorder that causes my hairline to recede and then grow back. If I were to permanently start losing my hair it would REALLY bum me out. And not every guy looks good bald. My skin disorder causes me to get rashes that can lead to sores in my head. If I were bald you could see scarring and skin discoloration on my scalp. It would be hard for me to have confidence in myself walking around looking like this.

I still would not want a woman that wanted breast implants. But I DO understand about someone wanting to reverse certain changes to the body.


----------



## Entropy3000

discouraged1 said:


> I don't really think she cares about what I think... she went out and got a tattoo (visible) and never even mentioned it to me until I returned home from out of town.


Wow. Sorry man. This seems more important than anything else.

You have some red flags then.


----------



## Entropy3000

FalconKing said:


> It would bother me. I like natural. I would probably be turned off if a woman felt the need to permanently put something foreign in her body to feel better about herself and only adds aesthetic value. Plus insecurities turn me off. If she just had to have this to feel better about herself it would show that she is not very confident. So this would hurt my attraction. To see all of her confidence come back when she gets her new boobs and gets excited about shopping and looking sexy again would probably cause me to end the relationship. I would be thinking, "I always thought you were sexy and tried so hard to make you feel that way. Nothing I said resonated. Now you get your boobs done and magically you are some sexy confident woman? It took this for you to like yourself more? You have no health issues. You let some guy feel your titties up and sh!t getting you all excited about putting objects in your chest and now you are forever grateful to him" Whenever I see women with fake breast I'm turned off because I know it's not anything natural or special about who she is. It's something anyone can have with the money. Personally, I don't like it.


I hate stripper breasts ....


----------



## Mavash.

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Every married woman I personally know with augmentation for larger size divorced their husband.


My husband and I used to say the same thing.

However I think it's more common these days so I can think of a few women that had it done that are still married.

You really have to look at the bigger picture.


----------



## Entropy3000

Mavash. said:


> My husband and I used to say the same thing.
> 
> However I think it's more common these days so I can think of a few women that had it done that are still married.
> 
> *You really have to look at the bigger picture.*


Pun?

Actually I need to be clear that if my wife really wanted this and we talked it through I could potentially be onboard. So I know I could see the bigger picture. My wife is older than most on this forum but still has great breasts so I suppose I should disqualify myself.

Personally I find women with smallish and large breasts all wonderful and sexy. More often women have breasts that are too large. Yes really.

I get the pressure that woman are under though as much as any man can. But I think most of the loving husbands are more concerened about why a wife would want to do this. Was there something else missing in their life.

I think that as mavash states there is a much bigger picture to look at. What else is going on to put this in context.


----------



## NewM

I know of 2 women who got boob job and both got divorced some time after it.


----------



## NewM

I don't think boob job alone will make her divorce,but in your case and looking at your thread history : wife doesn't want to kiss me,wife got tattoo without my knowlege,lots of threads asking for help about how to get wife to have sex with you,threads in considering divorce,threads in coping with infidelity.

I would say she will either divorce you or cheat on you,she isn't getting those new boobs for you that is for sure.


----------



## Anon Pink

soccermom2three said:


> I don't know any divorced women that had a boob job before the divorce.
> 
> After having three kids, I mention to my husband that I wanted a "mommy makeover", a tummy tuck and breast lift. His concern was complications during surgery and what if I didn't wake up from the anesthesia.


That's nice your husband is concerned about your health. Does he ever say he loves the way you look now? Does he ever say you look beautiful to him? Does he ever try to combat your self criticism with words of admiration? If so, does it help you feel better about yourself? Does it make you less unhappy with the effects of motherhood and aging?


----------



## discouraged1

To add onto this here is an example of other things: I am out of town last week... send her two messages in the morning on two different days. One was just to remind her to get up (usually late to work) and tell her I love her. The next day was just to wish her a good day. Think I got a response? Hardly, not even later in the day or that night. I try to call several times that week in the evening and she doesn't answer. My son calls on his phone telling me she is talking to her friend on the phone! At least I know where I stand, right?
In addition to that... I was gone an entire week and we meet as I am coming back into town in a parking lot until my sons practice is over. We decide to wait in the car and I get in... she is playing with her phone. So I said Hi... she replies with Hi. Then I set there waiting to see if I am gonna get some eye contact or a "hey I missed you", a peck on the cheek, etc. Nothing for 5-10 minutes.. some chit chat but nothing. So I make some kissing noises, 3 or 4 times and she never looks up. I finally lean over and say how about a kiss.. she gives me a peck on the lips and goes back to messing with her phone.


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

Mavash. said:


> My husband and I used to say the same thing.
> 
> However I think it's more common these days so I can think of a few women that had it done that are still married.
> 
> You really have to look at the bigger picture.


I'm being very serious here. Every single woman I personally know as an acquaintance or friend that has gotten implants to increase their size has divorced their husband. I have 2 family members that have had this procedure done, but after a double mastectomy and they remained married. 

I know not all women would leave their husbands, but there are many who do. I personally for years wanted this procedure done. I've been teased most my life for being on the small side, including by my own mother. Since marrying my husband I have grown the confidence I need and I ignore any comments made by others. Being on the smaller side has its advantages and I'm glad I never got this procedure done. My husband is very supporting of me and he even said if I felt the need to get this done, go ahead. He'd be the one paying for it since I do not work. I'd rather tuck that money away in the bank for hubby's retirement. There are so many disadvantages and risks involved with this procedure, plus the fact it needs to be redone in an average of 10 years.


----------



## Mavash.

I agree I know more that got divorced than those that didn't.

I'm just saying it is possible. One woman I knew that did it and is still married HE pushed her to do it. The other is in competition with her husband. They look like Barbie and ken both fighting aging with everything they've got. Lol. They are perfect for each other.


----------



## FalconKing

Hey Anon Pink,

Do you think if you were in a more open and loving relationship that you still would have gotten your breast done?


----------



## Anon Pink

discouraged1 said:


> To add onto this here is an example of other things: I am out of town last week... send her two messages in the morning on two different days. One was just to remind her to get up (usually late to work) and tell her I love her. The next day was just to wish her a good day. Think I got a response? Hardly, not even later in the day or that night. I try to call several times that week in the evening and she doesn't answer. My son calls on his phone telling me she is talking to her friend on the phone! At least I know where I stand, right?
> In addition to that... I was gone an entire week and we meet as I am coming back into town in a parking lot until my sons practice is over. We decide to wait in the car and I get in... she is playing with her phone. So I said Hi... she replies with Hi. Then I set there waiting to see if I am gonna get some eye contact or a "hey I missed you", a peck on the cheek, etc. Nothing for 5-10 minutes.. some chit chat but nothing. So I make some kissing noises, 3 or 4 times and she never looks up. I finally lean over and say how about a kiss.. she gives me a peck on the lips and goes back to messing with her phone.



Oh Discouraged, I'm so sorry you are being treated like this, especially upon homecomings. I hate to admit but I was like your wife too. I just didn't realize that our disconnect made me indifferent to his leaving and or homecoming. Finally my husband pointed it out and told me it made him feel totally insignificant.

We've come a long way since I stopped doing that, but there is a long way yet to go still.





FalconKing said:


> Do you think if you were in a more open and loving relationship that you still would have gotten your breast done?


Probably not. Hard to say because the cancer kinda made the decision for me. But, I had two surgeries to get all the cancer; very very painful, I probably could have been talked out of reconstruction. I don't know, maybe not though. Summer time came! Taping those stupid gel prosthetics under my breast so I could wear a bathing suit was horrible. I didn't bother in our back yard but on the beach... But I was still too weak anyway..

You know I really haven't thought about what ifs. I'll get back to you if my answer is different upon further reflection.


----------



## FalconKing

Anon Pink said:


> Oh Discouraged, I'm so sorry you are being treated like this, especially upon homecomings. I hate to admit but I was like your wife too. I just didn't realize that our disconnect made me indifferent to his leaving and or homecoming. Finally my husband pointed it out and told me it made him feel totally insignificant.
> 
> We've come a long way since I stopped doing that, but there is a long way yet to go still.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Probably not. Hard to say because the cancer kinda made the decision for me. But, I had two surgeries to get all the cancer; very very painful, I probably could have been talked out of reconstruction. I don't know, maybe not though. Summer time came! Taping those stupid gel prosthetics under my breast so I could wear a bathing suit was horrible. I didn't bother in our back yard but on the beach... But I was still too weak anyway..
> 
> You know I really haven't thought about what ifs. I'll get back to you if my answer is different upon further reflection.


I hear you. It seems there were some things going on in the marriage that made you lose confidence in yourself. I can see where you are coming from. 

I think a lot of guys have issues with them being very loving and affectionate to their wives and them still wanting this. Their insecurity would be a turn off and they wouldn't see it as something beneficial to their relationship. You are competing with something you don't even agree with. You words, touch, affection, and romance loss to that? For some women it's an act of defiance and independence. They are so proud and don't mind flaunting their new assets. I've had known women that have asked people to feel their new breast and have given them full views. To other males..... It's like there is a disconnect. Like it's a new car or something but at the same time it's something erotic. Divorce is imminent.


----------



## I got this

For new boobs and old, one boob in each hand is best unless one boob is a two hander


----------



## Entropy3000

Mr Used To Know said:


> For new boobs and old, one boob in each hand is best unless one boob is a two hander


Boob in mouth is a nice variation as well.


----------



## Entropy3000

soccermom2three said:


> Yes, he will tell me once in a while that I look great. I wish it was more often. He's not the talkative, touchy feeling type. There is a way he looks at me that I know he approves, haha.
> 
> He is very practical and realistic about aging though. He says that at our age, 48, that we are not going to look like how we did when we were dating. So, in a way, I guess it's a good thing that he doesn't have unrealistic expectations that I know some men have. I'm the one that wanted to be more comfortable with my body, (reason for the mommy makeover), not just for him but for myself, for example, wearing bathing suits.


I also think that when you are married a good while you have a mental image of your spouse. You see them for who they are as a person but you also tend to see them as a composite physically. I see my wife eternally as what she is today but also as she was at 25.


----------



## Emerald

I've read this entire thread.

OP - is your wife flat-chested or an A cup or B cup......

You have been married a long time. If you are happy with her breasts & she is critical of women who get boob jobs, I don't understand why she feels the need for one.......now.

She may want to look more attractive for other men...in general..nobody specific....right now. As for not finding bras...that is simply not true.

Maybe she is having a MLC. I may be wrong but I don't think bigger boobs will suddenly increase a surge in self-esteem considering good self-esteem comes from accomplishments not how "hot" we are.


----------



## discouraged1

Emerald said:


> I've read this entire thread.
> 
> OP - is your wife flat-chested or an A cup or B cup......
> 
> You have been married a long time. If you are happy with her breasts & she is critical of women who get boob jobs, I don't understand why she feels the need for one.......now.
> 
> She may want to look more attractive for other men...in general..nobody specific....right now. As for not finding bras...that is simply not true.
> 
> Maybe she is having a MLC. I may be wrong but I don't think bigger boobs will suddenly increase a surge in self-esteem considering good self-esteem comes from accomplishments not how "hot" we are.


She is an A cup... I honestly have no problem with them and never have. I think they are perfect! ?? Who knows what is really going on. Now she is saying we don't have the money which is making me feel worse as the main provider. Not sure if this is just a guilt trip or not yet!


----------



## Anon Pink

Discouraged, do you think it is a real issue with her or is she facing the signs of aging and maybe just a little more needy as a result?

You don't sound like your getting any closer to understanding what exactly is going on with your wife.

I think you've been asked but I don't think you've replied. Have had asked her what is going on and why she went from hating on women who got their boobs done to wanting one and now to saying she can't afford one. Also, I think he saying she can't afford it is another way of opening the door to conversation.

Come on now, talk to her and ask a lot of questions!


----------



## discouraged1

Anon Pink said:


> Discouraged, do you think it is a real issue with her or is she facing the signs of aging and maybe just a little more needy as a result?
> 
> You don't sound like your getting any closer to understanding what exactly is going on with your wife.
> 
> I think you've been asked but I don't think you've replied. Have had asked her what is going on and why she went from hating on women who got their boobs done to wanting one and now to saying she can't afford one. Also, I think he saying she can't afford it is another way of opening the door to conversation.
> 
> Come on now, talk to her and ask a lot of questions!


Well maybe the aging thing but honestly her body is in good shape.. she is thin. 5'3" - 120# brunette with a great butt, just a little smaller on top according to her. Now she completely shuts me down about it when I try to talk to her.... she says unless we hit the lottery. She says it's a luxury not a need. Which makes me feel like ****... I told her I would take care of it but she insists it's not a big deal now.
I did talk about why she talked down about other women in the past... in previous posts. She said she never did... I know differently and have heard it many times. So I really don't expect to get the real answer... she did mention a couple of times that it would be for me so I could put my member between them:smthumbup:.
What is weird is that in 20 years she has said she is small but never mentioned wanting bigger till now??


----------



## Machiavelli

discouraged1 said:


> She is an A cup... I honestly have no problem with them and never have. I think they are perfect! ?? Who knows what is really going on. *Now she is saying we don't have the money* which is making me feel worse as the main provider. Not sure if this is just a guilt trip or not yet!


The guy she had her eye on didn't respond properly to something she put out there.


----------



## Anon Pink

discouraged1 said:


> Well maybe the aging thing but honestly her body is in good shape.. she is thin. 5'3" - 120# brunette with a great butt, just a little smaller on top according to her. Now she completely shuts me down about it when I try to talk to her.... she says unless we hit the lottery. She says it's a luxury not a need. Which makes me feel like ****... I told her I would take care of it but she insists it's not a big deal now.
> I did talk about why she talked down about other women in the past... in previous posts. She said she never did... I know differently and have heard it many times. So I really don't expect to get the real answer... she did mention a couple of times that it would be for me so I could put my member between them:smthumbup:.
> What is weird is that in 20 years she has said she is small but never mentioned wanting bigger till now??


I have no doubt you heard it. It's called rationalization/denial. She probably wanted to have a larger breast and so she denied her wants and rationalized that women who get boob jobs are superficial. That way she could convince herself that her secret desire to have a larger rack stays buried underneath her show of disgust to women who did it.

I'm sure you've heard kids say, "Fine then, I didn't want to go to your stupid party anyway!" Your wife just did a more grown up version. Not a big deal people do it all the time.

She's in her early 40s right? This thread is not so fresh in my mind but I don't recall you mentioning anything that would indicate she's pulling away or not interested in you, other than her wanting bigger boobs out of the blue. To me, that one little thing doesn't indicate anything at all to be concerned about.

But what I did notice in your thread is that you tend to get discouraged (so I think you picked a good screen name) pretty easily. If your wife says that "we" can't afford my new boobs, that is a statement of fact, not a judgment statement. If she says "you" don't make enough to buy me... that is a judgment statement. And quite frankly its also way out of line. It's not like you, or any husband, is turning down pay raises! You've got a job and you work full time right? If she wants more than what that income can give her, then she needs to get her own job.

Stand up for yourself when she says things that hurt you. Next time you feel like she's attacking you for not making enough money just say; "I'm doing the best I can, you want more, get a job."

I really don't think you have anything to be worried about.


----------



## Chaparral

discouraged1 said:


> To add onto this here is an example of other things: I am out of town last week... send her two messages in the morning on two different days. One was just to remind her to get up (usually late to work) and tell her I love her. The next day was just to wish her a good day. Think I got a response? Hardly, not even later in the day or that night. I try to call several times that week in the evening and she doesn't answer. My son calls on his phone telling me she is talking to her friend on the phone! At least I know where I stand, right?
> In addition to that... I was gone an entire week and we meet as I am coming back into town in a parking lot until my sons practice is over. We decide to wait in the car and I get in... she is playing with her phone. So I said Hi... she replies with Hi. Then I set there waiting to see if I am gonna get some eye contact or a "hey I missed you", a peck on the cheek, etc. Nothing for 5-10 minutes.. some chit chat but nothing. So I make some kissing noises, 3 or 4 times and she never looks up. I finally lean over and say how about a kiss.. she gives me a peck on the lips and goes back to messing with her phone.


I think this is huge red flag. Next to the one that has your gut in turmoil.

Do you have total access to her cell/text and the records? I would be going over these with a fine tooth comb.

How much do you travel?
?


----------



## Goldmember357

discouraged1 said:


> I don't really think she cares about what I think... she went out and got a tattoo (visible) and never even mentioned it to me until I returned home from out of town.


That's an issue. ^^ she not caring what you think. I could not imagine my wife going OUT GETTING A TATTOO and never mentioning it to me. 

That to me is a huge issue

I would snoop if i were you.

It's easy to find out everything a person does on a computer, their phone etc. You can easily have your answer (if she is cheating or thinking of it) within a week imo.


----------



## Anon Pink

Oh PUULEESE! It's a nothing issue!

Ive been thinking about a tattoo for over a year, have only just this second told my H (cause your post reminded me I hadn't told him my idea yet) and asked what he would think if I came home with it and hadn't told him first. He wasn't the slightest bit concerned except wanted to know how much those things cost.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

Lovely parting gift you have there Ms. Discouraged. Or is that lovely parting gifts?


----------



## discouraged1

chapparal said:


> I think this is huge red flag. Next to the one that has your gut in turmoil.
> 
> Do you have total access to her cell/text and the records? I would be going over these with a fine tooth comb.
> 
> How much do you travel?
> ?


I do keep tabs on phone from time to time.. I travel almost weekly.


----------



## discouraged1

Anon Pink said:


> Oh PUULEESE! It's a nothing issue!
> 
> Ive been thinking about a tattoo for over a year, have only just this second told my H (cause your post reminded me I hadn't told him my idea yet) and asked what he would think if I came home with it and hadn't told him first. He wasn't the slightest bit concerned except wanted to know how much those things cost.


Anon, Some people don't have a problem with this but getting a visible tattoo is for me a big deal... especially when you never even say a word before you get it. I hate it!


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

discouraged1 said:


> Anon, Some people don't have a problem with this but getting a visible tattoo is for me a big deal... especially when you never even say a word before you get it. I hate it!


I completely agree and I personally don't mind tattoo's. I like a few(not all) myself. I thought about getting a white tattoo(hidden) and I discussed this with my hubby first. He's very against tattoo's, but was very supporting of me wanting one. He only asked me to wait at least a year to make sure this wasn't an impulse buy.

I waited and the wanting of the white tattoo faded. Tattoo's are a big issue and not need to be taken lightly.


----------



## discouraged1

Anon Pink said:


> Oh Discouraged, I'm so sorry you are being treated like this, especially upon homecomings. I hate to admit but I was like your wife too. I just didn't realize that our disconnect made me indifferent to his leaving and or homecoming. Finally my husband pointed it out and told me it made him feel totally insignificant.
> 
> We've come a long way since I stopped doing that, but there is a long way yet to go still.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Probably not. Hard to say because the cancer kinda made the decision for me. But, I had two surgeries to get all the cancer; very very painful, I probably could have been talked out of reconstruction. I don't know, maybe not though. Summer time came! Taping those stupid gel prosthetics under my breast so I could wear a bathing suit was horrible. I didn't bother in our back yard but on the beach... But I was still too weak anyway..
> 
> You know I really haven't thought about what ifs. I'll get back to you if my answer is different upon further reflection.


So I came home this week and met my wife at a restaurant... her request. I thought maybe she was doing this as something special since we had a long discussion via phone this week. Naw.. as usual no lean in for a kiss, she did blow a kiss and whisper no PDA's (public displays of affection), guess she is trying to be a comedian now! She did give me a peck in the parking lot when we walked out. Later that night pecks only before sex, she would not open mouth kiss which is usual. I even talked to her about it earlier in the week about how much I liked kissing her. How it made me feel bad that she wouldn't kiss me with an open mouth. 
I am gone all week and she does absolutely nothing all weekend. Lays in bed... all day. I do the laundry, errands, pay bills, grocery shopping. She has cooked twice in the last year other than that it's fast food or dining out. 
I basically have a roomate that gives me sex PIV ONLY.. I guess I should be happy she does go to work.
I know she needs to seek help and I have tried to get her to go see a counselor but she won't. I am getting close to the point of no return on this relationship... I have said it many times but the day is coming soon.


----------



## discouraged1

discouraged1 said:


> So I came home this week and met my wife at a restaurant... her request. I thought maybe she was doing this as something special since we had a long discussion via phone this week. Naw.. as usual no lean in for a kiss, she did blow a kiss and whisper no PDA's (public displays of affection), guess she is trying to be a comedian now! She did give me a peck in the parking lot when we walked out. Later that night pecks only before sex, she would not open mouth kiss which is usual. I even talked to her about it earlier in the week about how much I liked kissing her. How it made me feel bad that she wouldn't kiss me with an open mouth.
> I am gone all week and she does absolutely nothing all weekend. Lays in bed... all day. I do the laundry, errands, pay bills, grocery shopping. She has cooked twice in the last year other than that it's fast food or dining out.
> I basically have a roomate that gives me sex PIV ONLY.. I guess I should be happy she does go to work.
> I know she needs to seek help and I have tried to get her to go see a counselor but she won't. I am getting close to the point of no return on this relationship... I have said it many times but the day is coming soon.


Also when I am at home I iron her clothes each day before work. Not sure I can think of anything she does for me... accept she allows me to have sex with her. No physical touch even when PIV sex.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

Your wife could be very insecure of herself. It's not because she is selfish. Also, when it comes to sex no one should be pressured into something they are not comfortable with.

It took me years to gain confidence. It was only because of my husband and his gentle and nurturing ways towards me.


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## Anon Pink

discouraged1 said:


> Also when I am at home I iron her clothes each day before work. Not sure I can think of anything she does for me... accept she allows me to have sex with her. No physical touch even when PIV sex.


Alright, I stand here with my arms wide and my head bowed admitting to the whole wide thread... I have been waaaaaaay off base.

This is a problem for Machiavelli, Entropy, Goldmember, Chaparal, and anyone else who has been dutifully pointing out red flags. You were right and I was wrong.


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## just got it 55

Dude not buying the bra don't fit thing


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## Entropy3000

Anon Pink said:


> Alright, I stand here with my arms wide and my head bowed admitting to the whole wide thread... I have been waaaaaaay off base.
> 
> This is a problem for Machiavelli, Entropy, Goldmember, Chaparal, and anyone else who has been dutifully pointing out red flags. You were right and I was wrong.


Threads are often trickle truth. Hard to tell where they are headed sometimes.
Other times it is all too clear.

But indeed to be part of the Gang Of Four. Wow.


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## Entropy3000

discouraged1 said:


> Also when I am at home I iron her clothes each day before work. Not sure I can think of anything she does for me... accept she allows me to have sex with her. No physical touch even when PIV sex.


Wow. Just wow. 

Why do you iron her clothes? If it is for the hope of some trickle sex, stop right now.

Indeed your marriage lacks intimacy. I would be more wary about her boob job under these circumstances. That said, if she was wanting the boob job for your benefit that is one thing. But will she be letting you touch them? I have no idea.
That would be more than cruel.

So anyway, yes your situation goes deeper than fake boobs.


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## FalconKing

Entropy3000 said:


> Threads are often trickle truth. Hard to tell where they are headed sometimes.
> Other times it is all too clear.
> 
> *But indeed to be part of the Gang Of Four. Wow.*


:rofl::rofl:


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## Entropy3000

discouraged1 said:


> To add onto this here is an example of other things: I am out of town last week... send her two messages in the morning on two different days. One was just to remind her to get up (usually late to work) and tell her I love her. The next day was just to wish her a good day. Think I got a response? Hardly, not even later in the day or that night. I try to call several times that week in the evening and she doesn't answer. My son calls on his phone telling me she is talking to her friend on the phone! At least I know where I stand, right?
> In addition to that... I was gone an entire week and we meet as I am coming back into town in a parking lot until my sons practice is over. We decide to wait in the car and I get in... she is playing with her phone. So I said Hi... she replies with Hi. Then I set there waiting to see if I am gonna get some eye contact or a "hey I missed you", a peck on the cheek, etc. Nothing for 5-10 minutes.. some chit chat but nothing. So I make some kissing noises, 3 or 4 times and she never looks up. I finally lean over and say how about a kiss.. she gives me a peck on the lips and goes back to messing with her phone.


I would not put up with this. I certainly would not be buying new boobs for her. They probably would not be for me anyway.

Seriously sounds like things need to get sorted out.


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## southern wife

I agree with STOP ironing her clothes. Seriously, what man does this? :scratchhead:

And stop with all that you're doing around the house. She needs to get her butt out of bed and get busy doing things at home. And she's only cooked twice in a YEAR? :wtf: is up with that?


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## discouraged1

southern wife said:


> I agree with STOP ironing her clothes. Seriously, what man does this? :scratchhead:
> 
> And stop with all that you're doing around the house. She needs to get her butt out of bed and get busy doing things at home. And she's only cooked twice in a YEAR? :wtf: is up with that?


Southern Wife I agree what would you recommend I do or say.. actions etc? Looking for suggestions. Thanks


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## Anon Pink

discouraged1 said:


> Southern Wife I agree what would you recommend I do or say.. actions etc? Looking for suggestions. Thanks




Go here and learn about other Man Up techniques.
Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits.

Have you read No More Mr. Nice Guy.

I'm so sorry Discouraged. You are being treated very callously and it's very wrong. I hope you stand up for yourself and insist your wife treat you with dignity and respect.

I think you should start in the Mens Club House once you're checked these sites and read a little bit.


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## discouraged1

Anon Pink said:


> Go here and learn about other Man Up techniques.
> Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits.
> 
> Have you read No More Mr. Nice Guy.
> 
> I'm so sorry Discouraged. You are being treated very callously and it's very wrong. I hope you stand up for yourself and insist your wife treat you with dignity and respect.
> 
> I think you should start in the Mens Club House once you're checked these sites and read a little bit.


I have done some of these things, pulled a 180, etc. I can be the biggest alpha male and usually am but this is a cycle and I am tired of being in it. Things may get better for a while and then they go right back to crap! Fed up.


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## FalconKing

discouraged1 said:


> I have done some of these things, pulled a 180, etc. I can be the biggest alpha male and usually am but this is a cycle and I am tired of being in it. Things may get better for a while and then they go right back to crap! Fed up.


A female poster posted about a situation similar to yours with her husband. I think your wife may have some resentment about changing to make you happy. She may essentially see herself as better than you. If you are the spouse who always concedes or is selfless, then she may have become accustomed to this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The-Deceived

Yup. My stbxww got new boobs in May and started an affair that same month. How about that.


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## waroftheroses

Don''t normally add to threads...(more of a lurker than a contributor) but I was married 27 years...
my ex then had a boob job, self confidence went through the ceiling...new clothes..new lingerie, started screwing a work colleague...
Been divorced 2 years.....


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## LouAnn Poovy

waroftheroses said:


> Don''t normally add to threads...(more of a lurker than a contributor) but I was married 27 years...
> my ex then had a boob job, self confidence went through the ceiling...new clothes..new lingerie, started screwing a work colleague...
> Been divorced 2 years.....


*Relationship had to be rocky, boobs don't mean divorce. Sorry. They just don't. *


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## tacoma

LouAnn Poovy said:


> *Relationship had to be rocky, boobs don't mean divorce. Sorry. They just don't. *


True but they CAN be a sign of an oncoming MLC and that can lead to divorce or at least a really rough time.



Best to know why she wants them really.


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## LouAnn Poovy

tacoma said:


> True but they CAN be a sign of an oncoming MLC and that can lead to divorce or at least a really rough time.
> 
> 
> 
> Best to know why she wants them really.



*MLC, I really don't want to guess the meaning as English is not my first language. 

I stand by my post. *


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## tacoma

LouAnn Poovy said:


> *MLC, I really don't want to guess the meaning as English is not my first language.
> 
> I stand by my post. *


As you should because it's correct.

MLC = Mid Life Crisis

When men go through it they get a new sportscar and start banging their secretary.

When women go through it they get new breasts and start banging the pool boy.


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## Shadow_Nirvana

Haven't read previous posts... but here's my 2 cents: Breast enlargement surgery shows that a woman is willing to do anything to up her sex rank. 

Generally, she wants to make sure her increased sex rank doesn't get wasted on boring old hubby.


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## waroftheroses

Originally Posted by LouAnn Poovy 
Relationship had to be rocky, boobs don't mean divorce. Sorry. They just don't.

Geesh.....you are sooooooooooo wrong...and you've got me replying too..ha ha ha

My 'ex' gave no hints or mention that our marriage was rocky...if I had known..... do you seriously believe I would of allowed thousands of pounds on new boobs and teeth??

She changed instantly the moment the bandages were removed....Her personality, self confidence...and physique ....

And I stand by comment.....her boob job was the catalyst for ending our marriage. Whether there was also a plan or strategy prior to the operation I simply cannot answer....she gave no hints.. 
What I can say with certainty is that afterwards having played Mr Banker...I wasn't needed any more...


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## Entropy3000

tacoma said:


> As you should because it's correct.
> 
> MLC = Mid Life Crisis
> 
> When men go through it they get a new sportscar and start banging their secretary.
> 
> When women go through it they get new breasts and start banging the pool boy.


This should be the dictionary definition.


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