# My own worst enemy.



## BrianE (Nov 22, 2010)

I've had a decent week with my wife. I know she hasn't spent the nights all week with the OM. She went to counceling with me last Saturday and agreed to go again tomorrow. so I shouldn't have anything to keep me down.

despite having a good week I'm sitting here thinking of all the negatives, the what ifs. What if we don't get back together, what if she has had sex with the OM. What if I do lose my job (I'm on 2 week probation because of my bad atitude I've had since wife started seeing OM). What if I lose my house.

I'm on anti-depressents and they are working for the most part. It's the constant anxiety I have from time to time that is slowly killing me. Current doc won't give meds for that since I had a OD attempt about 2 months ago on xanax.

I just can't get these thoughts out of my head when they sneak in there. I've no local family or anything to lean on. I just so badly want someone to hug and just cry for a good long time. I'm sitting here at work now with my office door shut b/c I can't stop crying.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

im so sorry brian. maybe what you need is to get away from her. im sure that's the most devastating thought to you, but look at what being around her is doing to you. how long can you live with this uncertainty? Its literally killing you.


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

Brian - do your supervisors know about your situation?

Most companies of any large size will have resources available to you like EAP.

Ensure your HR department knows what is going on as well. 

HAng in there brother. 

Life is worth living! It's dark sometimes I know. I went through bouts of depression and anger and depression again. Sometimes i'ts really really dark. Look at your kids - hug them and love them. All this other swirl is just swirl compared to life with them. 

And you know what - so what if she sleeps with OM? You can't control that. Control what you can control and that's you.

Please realize that you have more people thinking about you than probably ever before in your life. The power of prayer and intention is real whether we actually know or have met you! 

God Bless - we're all praying this works for you.


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