# Reading into things too much? Probably not.



## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

So after a week of choosing to alter my life course and head towards the final destination i came across something. W and I are still "friends" on a website. She posts something about her life that is vague. I think it is about me. I want to clarify, I don't check her page but once in a while(2nd time in a few months). I notice that some one said something about helping her with these problems.(One of her friends that I have heard has interest in her.)
I may be paranoid(sarcasm!), but her post usually coincide with days I have been around her.It may be about her family, but I doubt it. I am going to make easy things for her, I am going to file then I will be out of her life other than being the same father I have been since I saw the tests. I don't know what is going on in her life because she talks very little unless it is endless silence filler. I am tired of the awkwardness I put myself in to be around her. I am not pathetic and I will not continue to pander to her every chance I get. she may not ask for some of the things I do, but she sure as heck doesn't stop me. NO more!! Her boundaries with others are what me uncomfortable through out the marriage and relationship.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Perhaps it's time you start treating her accourding to the 180. Look at the link for the 180 in my signature block below.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Perhaps it's time you start treating her accourding to the 180. Look at the link for the 180 in my signature block below.


Thank you. All in all I have no idea what has transpired before, during, or after our separation. ILYBINILWY is what I got. I have exacerbated in some of my action(prying, which I truly regret for a number of reasons. whether true or not.) 
Yes, I think I may have done some pushing away, but I did so amid confusion and irrational fear. All I know is that our marriage seemed to stop being a focus of attention from her side all while I obsessed over it. I tried to get her to go to MC to no avail. I wish I had known this sooner. 
We do not live together . In some ways I can see how she has done this for some time now. She holds onto a marriage that she doesn't want to fix to take care of me. All I know is that I have seen people come back from worse than what we have done and not done. I have very little hope, but I am going to try. I am tired of being just friends.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long have you not lived together? Did she or you move out after the ILYBINILWY?


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

About a year,she left. Why?
Either way, the 180 will help me more on. I put myself out too much and it is not healthy for me. It is time to move on, regardless of what direction that maybe.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You are right that the 180 will help you move on. 

Also, I think that it could get her attention. Right now she has you and her single life. She just might find out that she misses you when you start the 180.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

I have been going to therapy again, which helps so much. At one point I thought I was fine and made some mistakes involving a few friends. That was an unfortunate eye-opener. I said and thought some foolish things, now I have two less people, that makes me sad. I have finally taken charge, a little too late in some ways. My one problem: how do I back out of promises I made to her without literally being a bad person or wishywashy? (family trips and such?)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Agast84 said:


> About a year,she left. Why?


OH, it almost sounded to me in a previous post that you were saying that you two had never lived together. It was a bit confusing so I just wanted clarification.

It's very hard to fix a marriage if you are not living together. The longer your live apart the less likely the marriage can be repaired.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> OH, it almost sounded to me in a previous post that you were saying that you two had never lived together. It was a bit confusing so I just wanted clarification.
> 
> It's very hard to fix a marriage if you are not living together. The longer your live apart the less likely the marriage can be repaired.


That is what I was worried about. That is also why I have decided to stop living in a pathetic, deluded life.


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