# cheating wife



## mrdee (Sep 23, 2010)

Hi all. well ive been married for 26 yrs now and 12yrs ago my wife cheated on me with a close friend of mine , now firstly at this time we wasnt getting on to well , typical man if you like, wasnt giving her affection and when we argued i said some nasty things ,so things were strained, anyway my friend and my wife were clearly flirting with each other , and over a few months this got worse as i came in and caught her rubbing closely past him, he was always here 3 or 4 times a week , anyway what with this and other pressures i walked out and said i hated her ,didnt love her,etc. and left , although weve done this before a few times when things have got bad, any way same day he turns up cuddles her, within a couple of days they are kissing and groping and by the weekend she ends up in his bed for a whole night of intimate sex ,doing it on on and of thro the night,
the following week i rang and said we need to talk which was a wednesday, but she still went out and done the same again on the friday night knowing i would be home on the saturday.
anyway suspecting it I have constantly accused her of the affair and she has thrown alsorts of reactions at me liking calling me sick and twisted even saying ,what do you take me for a cheap ****, this has been going on for 12years and hasnt never gone away till this weekend she finally confessed and reason she did was because i was going to see his exwife(oh yes he was married also) as she knew which i only found out the night before the confession.
now all these years have gone by but it feels like yesterday and i am hurting so bad really dont know how i can deal with it , so anyone with any advice please help me


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

Sounds like shes had a very childish trust issue with you . So... did you go see this other woman? was it intimate? emotional affair? 
You both have to stop the games in the marriage and get back to before it all started. Have you asked her if she wants to be married to you? is she bored? you guys need a long talk about needs, resentments and expectations. Resentments are likely to be the culprit behind the misbehavior. Ask her what the turning point was! when did she decide it was ok to be unfaithful? did she let you know what was bothering her so you had a chance to turn it around? 
you neglected her in the past but the key is finding out if that destroyed her love for you!!! has she ever moved past it? doesnt sound like it to me. 
Remember the fundamentals of marriage and why you two married. Are you both living in the moment or on fast forward 24/7 with other things like work? Why did this carry on so long and how? 
Some questions to ponder for you that might bring more sense to your chaos. The main issue at hand is: are you both willing to start anew with love and respect? can you both forgive and show need for the other? 
Take comfort in knowing if neither one of you left sooner.. chances are the love that binded you is still on the back burner and needs the lid blown off with some positive communication & forgiveness.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

Just trying to get all the facts in order:

You say that you slept with your good friend's wife some 12 years ago. Then your wife slept with your good friend. Now, for the past 12 years, you've been fighting with your wife about her affair.

Is that all the facts, or are there more/am I incorrect somewhere?


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I have to confess, I don't get it. 

First, I don't exactly follow the story. Has your wife been having an affair for 12 years? Or did this happen 12 years ago, and you're still hurt about it?

Second, were you having an affair with the OM's wife? 

Finally, what exactly do you want from us? Sympathy? Directions about what to do to stop hurting? Encouragement to keep this sword over her head so you can keep controlling her? 

I'm confused... :scratchhead:


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