# Fiance caused me to pass out during angry sex! Is this dangerous?



## Shanna (Apr 2, 2013)

Here's the story: My fiance and I have been together 2yrs and we tend to argue mostly after we've been out with friends. He can be very jealous and the other night when I went to order drinks, He'd noticed I was laughing with the bartender, who was very funny since I can be a chatterbox I just got carried away, My fiance came up to me, Asked to talk to me & accused me of flirting on front of him, When i tried to tell him I wasn't he got pissed off more, Put his head level with mine and told me to behave myself, that I was disrespecting him and to knock it off. I got so angry with him, which ended up with us having a heated argument thankfully no one seemed to notice. He then said it would be better for us to leave. 

When he was driving home he started speeding really fast, When i asked him to slow down, That he was scaring me, he just looked at me told me to 'chill out and trust him he knows what hes doing" we bearly talked to me the whole time, I know he drove that fast just to scare the living sh!t out of me. There is still a lot of tension between us right now and I keep catching him staring at me but not really talking to me, I hate the silent treatment. Last night we ended up having sex and it was very intense, He started choking me during sex, When he normally does this very gently but last night I was just about to pass out he had to shake me and slap me to get me to regain consciousness, This morning he is still very cold towards me, I hate being like this, How can I fix it?, & please don't tell me to leave, I love him way to much to do that. Any advice is appreciated!


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## wifeiam (Apr 1, 2013)

If you are not willing to leave someone that endangers your life with his driving or during sex then I've got no advice for you. I will say if you really love this man you would leave him for him if not for you as he will eventually end up in prison when he goes too far. I feel very sorry for your parents that they will have to bury their beautiful daughter so young. I think you should see a counselor to determine why you would be willing to put up with this. You deserve more. Everyone does.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

> How can I fix it?, & please don't tell me to leave, I love him way to much to do that.


Hate to be blunt, but you sound like you have a death wish. He choked you until you passed out? 

Nope, a man that will do that doesn't love you. And you I think know it, and want to live in denial that you have a very unhealthy relationship.

Maybe this will be a problem that solves itself. He could do it again, and next time you may not wake up.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

First off, that kind of choking during sex, is risky and can be dangerous, you might not wake up next time. 

Next, you got bigger problems here than just the choking issue. He has anger/jealousy issues, period. I would think long and hard why you remain with someone like this, and who treats you this way, its not love at all, its control.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Shanna said:


> please don't tell me to leave, I love him way to much to do that. Any advice is appreciated!


You don't want people to tell you to leave, but exactly what else can you do? 

I'm not wild about asphixiation play, but some people do it. That's their choice. But to do it while he is angry at you and out of control? Your freaking life is in danger!!

At a minimum, tell him you will break off the engagement unless you both get counseling to deal with his jealousy and anger control issues. Please.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Ask David Carradine if its dangerous. ...oh wait...he's dead.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

stop flirting with the bartender. problem solved.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

Of course it won't be problem solved, it will just be something else...and then something else...

You don't want me to tell you to leave someone who's going to go too far one day and really hurt you? OK well then I've got nothing


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

ATC529R said:


> stop flirting with the bartender. problem solved.


So the blame is all placed on her?

To the OP, flirting or not, thats something you can control, but as far as your b/f and his anger issues, that is his problem, and you are not the cause of his poor reaction to things...sounds like he might be like this regardless of what you do.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Wow,

Well, since you're not willing to leave an obviously abusive boyfriend, You should list out what it is that you want for your final arrangements. You know, burial or cremation, stuff like that.

Oh and if you have children with this guy, be sure you make arrangements for them to be raised by someone you trust after you're gone


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Shanna said:


> He can be very jealous ...........accused me of flirting on front of him........... Put his head level with mine and told me to behave myself, that I was disrespecting him and to knock it off. ........... He then said it would be better for us to leave.
> 
> .......he started speeding really fast.......... he was scaring me, ..........told me to 'chill out and trust him he knows what hes doing" ............... I know he drove that fast just to scare the living sh!t out of me..................... .I keep catching him staring at me but not really talking to me, I hate the silent treatment. .................He started choking me during sex........ .I was just about to pass out he had to shake me and slap me to get me to regain consciousness................. This morning he is still very cold towards me..


Ummmmmmm h#ll to the NO! :nono:

This is beyond "silent treatment". He is very controlling, sounds very dangerous, and it's obvious he does not care about you. 

That "stare" you call "silent treatment"......is pure mental. Stalkers, rapists, and murders are like this. Like someone else mentioned, *death wish*. 

If I were you, I'd be very scared of this person. You need to start running ..........away............NOW....while you can and before it's too late.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

A Bit Much said:


> Maybe this will be a problem that solves itself. He could do it again, and next time you may not wake up.


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

(wasnt this exact same post, posted here before??)


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

3Xnocharm said:


> (wasnt this exact same post, posted here before??)


(could have been)


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

she's already stated they do the hand on the throat thing already.

how many women have driven erratically when pissed @ their spouse. I for one have had some people scare the hell out of me when they're mad.

I don't condone people taking something to the extreme of choking someone out......but if they do it already.....and the guy was a bit pissed it may be understandable that he was more aggressive.....and I'm sure he did not know where the pass out point was..........now he knows the boundry.

but she should not have disrecpected him, especially when he asked her to stop.....


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

CallaLily said:


> So the blame is all placed on her?
> 
> To the OP, flirting or not, thats something you can control, but as far as your b/f and his anger issues, that is his problem, and you are not the cause of his poor reaction to things...sounds like he might be like this regardless of what you do.


no, not all of it.....but she was the initiator.

she flirted. he ASKED her to stop and SHE got really angry......

so she started the s*&t not once, but 2 times and wonders why the guy is pissed?


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

She's not allowed to laugh with a "funny" bartender? :scratchhead:

Sorry, but HE sounds very controlling to me.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

getting annoyed at flirting is one thing
making attempts to scare her and physically hurt her is another
come on!


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

ATC529R said:


> no, not all of it.....but she was the initiator.
> 
> she flirted. he ASKED her to stop and SHE got really angry......
> 
> so she started the s*&t not once, but 2 times and wonders why the guy is pissed?


Then guess what, neither of them need to be with each other period.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

> My fiance and I have been together 2yrs and we tend to argue mostly after we've been out with friends.


I'm sorry but this sounds like pattern behavior. The getting angry and fighting happen all the time, and the jealousy thing sounds like the cause of it.

Chatting and laughing with a bartender while waiting for drinks isn't crazy making behavior unless you're already crazy. Being jealous is one thing, being a possessive maniacal lunatic is another. I can summize that the irratic driving after and choking until unconsciousness is NOT normal 'I'm jealous and angry' behavior. And he's STILL angry??? He sounds like a psycho.

OP you need to leave, but like I said before you obviously have a death wish.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

This is NOT normal behavior. I've laughed with bartenders and waiters before and my husband has _never_ accused me of flirting. 

You need out of this. The fact that you had to ask us not to tell you to leave is proof enough that you _know_ how bad this situations is, and you don't want to admit it.


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## MysteryMan1 (Nov 4, 2012)

You already know you need to leave him, now you just need to accept it.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Shanna said:


> I hate being like this, How can I fix it?, & please don't tell me to leave, I love him way to much to do that. Any advice is appreciated!


You are in an abusive relationship. You can't fix it. If you had that power, this wouldn't be happening in the first place. 

You say you won't leave. Ok, then make peace with being treated this way and worse, because it IS going to get worse. 

You're asking us to tell how to drink bleach and stay safe. It just does not work.

Good luck.

I hope you'll consider why you hate yourself so much that you're willing to tolerate this for those exciting moments of love he shows you. I understand that the good times are really, really good. They make you feel like the most important woman on earth. But if you were really that important to him, he would not treat you this way. Ever. He can control himself with his boss, friends, and others. He could control himself with you, too, but he doesn't want to.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Move along folks, nothing to see here, just a pathetic troll


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