# Manly Ways to "Work on yourself"



## nice777guy

Trying to change things up a bit.

What are some more masculine ways to work on yourself?

In the past, I've always thought about yoga, meditation, etc., etc.,

Not sure I'm ready for MMA training, but a heavy bag hung in the garage for pounding on sounds pretty good right now.

Suggestions?

Had a doctor once tell me that men do better when making contact with things - gave the example of the driving range or batting cages.


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## Mom6547

My husband finds what I consider extreme workouts to be awesome. The goal is actually to meet Mr Pukey. Wind sprints, heavy lifting for time...


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## nice777guy

Is golf considered "Manly"?


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## okeydokie

nice777guy said:


> Is golf considered "Manly"?


i havent ever really cared if it was, but it makes me forget everything for 4 hours


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## nice777guy

Have actually considered buying a gun - just to use at a shooting range.

Freaking my wife out would also be a nice side effect...


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## AFEH

nice777guy said:


> Trying to change things up a bit.
> 
> What are some more masculine ways to work on yourself?
> 
> In the past, I've always thought about yoga, meditation, etc., etc.,
> 
> Not sure I'm ready for MMA training, but a heavy bag hung in the garage for pounding on sounds pretty good right now.
> 
> Suggestions?
> 
> Had a doctor once tell me that men do better when making contact with things - gave the example of the driving range or batting cages.


Try what's coming to you "naturally" for example yoga and meditation. I got into Buddhism, whole new way of thinking about things and the meditations excellent. I used to spend a lot of time on golf, had some lessons and went downhill from there. Left it alone for two years to get thoughts other than where to hit the ball out of my head, it worked a dream, my natural swing had space to get back into my head. I’ve never hit the ball so well before.

Contact is important. I put up two punch bags, a ball and a multi-gym. It’s magic, I warm up on the punch bags and then get on the multi-gym. All I need on them is 20 minutes and the endorphins start flowing, I find it a real high. I’ve always been very “right sided” so I started strengthening my left side while working out. I was out in the garden weeding and discovered I was using my left hand as much as my right. That’s never happened before.

Are these “manly” things to do? I don’t know. I do know I enjoy them and get a lot out of them. Way back when some days I used to get nine holes in on the way to work. The sun’s coming up, empty course except for me, a wonderful experience.

Bob


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## txhunter54

Join a gym and start weight training. Take a firearms safety course and then go to the range and shoot. Sporting clays and skeet are fun shoots. Get into pistol shooting. IDPA and steel targets are fun. Take up archery. Take up golf. Go fishing. Lots of good choices.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy

Bob - I'm drawn to things like meditation - but I'm wondering if thats a problem. Like I need to balance that with hitting something!


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## AFEH

nice777guy said:


> Bob - I'm drawn to things like meditation - but I'm wondering if thats a problem. Like I need to balance that with hitting something!


Isn’t that a bit like saying you think the waters too cold to go for a swim without actually feeling the water, or just jumping in? You wont know until you try it. I chose Buddhism, there’s some fantastic books out there. I’m not very good though, one of the teachings of Buddhism is that you don’t “preach” it, you just “do it, be it”. And there I go with a little bit of preaching.

I think we go through phases in our life where some things have more meaning than others. Meditation and the like are what I see as working on the soul and the spirit. So maybe you’re feeling the need to do some soul and spirit work. I say go with that natural inclination and it will help you. I think I’m a “man’s man” I don’t actually know. I do know us men have a spirit and a soul and I do know I neglected mine for a very long time. It’s a bit like taking care of your “inner garden”, we learn how to water, feed and weed it so it grows nicely and can be left alone for a time while we tend to other things. You just may need to go on a bit of an inner journey, that’s how I thought of it. I used to love spending time by myself in churches. It was a phase I went through.

I think the physical side is also taking care of our inner garden. Instead of working on our spirit and soul, we’re working on our physical strength. And guess what. By doing these physical things we’re relieved of anger and stress and we “feel” so very much better in our soul and spirit as well.

Hope this helps

Bob


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## AFEH

Maybe take a look into martial arts, pick one that has as much about it in the spiritual and soul sense as it does the physical.

Bob


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## Deejo

I think an activity that lends itself to social interaction with other men would serve you well - including golf mixers.

Guns are good ... just don't add whiskey to the equation. Without adhering to the notion that you want to get in touch with your inner Neanderthal, I definitely support activities that put you a bit closer to your hunter-gatherer roots.


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## AFEH

Deejo said:


> I think an activity that lends itself to social interaction with other men would serve you well - including golf mixers.
> 
> Guns are good ... just don't add whiskey to the equation. Without adhering to the notion that you want to get in touch with your inner Neanderthal, I definitely support activities that put you a bit closer to your hunter-gatherer roots.


That's a really good way of looking at it. I was for decades a hunter gatherer. Then I looked back on my life and could see I'd spent so little time being a farmer, tending to my inner and outer crops.

Hunter gatherer? Farmer? Both? I certainly think time and focus should be spent on both and if we leave one untended for too long that's when things get bad and it's difficult to recover.

It does depend a lot where we are in our life.

Bob


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## seeking sanity

I've found team sports to be good for me. Not sure how much it is working on myself, other then getting out and having fun sure gets rid of stress. Softball, drop in indoor soccer. Stuff like that. Find a community center in your area.


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## aedilis

Well if you asked my stepdad, he'd say, "Whiskey and the floozies."

Seriously though, I think manly is in the eye of the beholder. Some guys feel manly by beating up women and drinking. Some guys feel manly by going to the gym 5 days a week. Some feel manly playing softball. Others feel manly by playing video games or gardening or painting pewter figurines. It seriously is something you need to decide on.

So pick out a bunch of various hobbies that your other guy friends do and see which one appeals to you. 

I used to play this Live Action Roleplaying Game in my 20s, where I got a rush out of playing a character who was a funny but blunt individual. It gave me a great feeling of control over myself and in return I would feel more confident in my regular day activities.

After that ran its course, I turned to learning how to hunt with my dad and my brother-in-law. Met some mutual friends of my brother-in-law and we all get along well today. I enjoy the time out with them and get the same confident feeling in myself regardless of whether I actually take a deer or not.

Over the last month, I decided on hosting a LAN party (Competitive Computer Gaming Party) for about 16 of my friends. I realized that I needed to make room and organize our basement which looks like the show "Man Caves" meets "Hoarders." Planning the cleanup project with my 13 year old son and starting to clean it out last Sunday really helped me get that confidence feeling I had doing those other activities.

So, to quote the character, Bishop, from the 2005 comedy movie "Waiting":

"..So, when things in your life become stagnant - you know, you're no longer happy with what you're doing - then you figure out what's important to you. Then create your own penis-showing game. "


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## AFEH

Bob


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## nice777guy

Read a book recommended here - The Way of the Superior Man. The author described alcohol as a type of "feminine energy", but never really explained what this meant.

I think he meant that it drains us of life, doesn't add to it.

Any ideas on THAT one?


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## nice777guy

AFEH said:


> Bob


Very well said!


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## Deejo

aedilis said:


> so, to quote the character, bishop, from the 2005 comedy movie "waiting":
> 
> "..so, when things in your life become stagnant - you know, you're no longer happy with what you're doing - then you figure out what's important to you. Then create your own penis-showing game. "


This is Epic


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## nice777guy

The first rule of aedilis' new club is DON'T TALK ABOUT AEDILIS' NEW CLUB!

Second rule is keep your hands to yourself.


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## AFEH

Never. Never Ever lol. Try and get in touch with your feminine side.

That was a Massive Mistake I Made. Don't work on that stuff.

Bob


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## seeking sanity

> The Way of the Superior Man. The author described alcohol as a type of "feminine energy", but never really explained what this meant.


I'd take Way of the Superior Man as interesting but not neccessarily a guide to living. He doesn't substantiate ANYTHING in his book. He makes statements about what a superior man does, without backing it up at all.

I think he's interesting, but probably crazy.


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## aedilis

Thanks for the support guys


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## Deejo

nice777guy said:


> Read a book recommended here - The Way of the Superior Man. The author described alcohol as a type of "feminine energy", but never really explained what this meant.
> 
> I think he meant that it drains us of life, doesn't add to it.
> 
> Any ideas on THAT one?


I read that and "Fire in the Belly". I found Way of the Superior Man much more engaging, but yeah a bit on the hoodoo, let's get naked, dance in the rain and beat a drum kind of vibe. Alcohol removes inhibition and accentuates exuberance. Feminine energy. Importantly, feminine energy isn't labeled as 'bad'. It is simply about giving greater focus to male energy, awareness and control (of oneself and the environment)

Both books had some great pearls of wisdom, but there was stuff that I patently put in the bullsh!t pile as well. "Hold Onto Your N.U.T.'s" is a must.


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## nice777guy

Just a couple of quick, possibly useless observations:

Men like Clint Eastwood movies - women like Steel Magnolias and Dirty Dancing. To me, it proves there are differences.

Used to believe that crap about "nothing is more sexy than a man who loves his children..." - except maybe a large muscular dude with a great tan, a few tatoos and all the time in the world to do nothing but pay attention to you, while the "other guy" is at home changing diapers and doing dishes.

Having an identity crisis here...NOT trying to get in touch with my feminine side at all - quite the opposite.


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## DALMORE

I have recently started P.E. // Which stands for penis exercises. It is the one muscle most men forget to 'really' workout! Did alot of research on it and found a great beginners workout, that can greatly improve your love muscle in about all areas! 

I have been doing it about 1.5 weeks now and I have found I greatly enjoy the 30-45 minutes of alone time do to my PE workout and it also gives me time with my thoughts, a confidence boost
and a healthier muscle. 

Beginner's Forum - Penis Forum


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## nice777guy

WTF???


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## Deejo

DALMORE said:


> I have recently started P.E. // Which stands for penis exercises. It is the one muscle most men forget to 'really' workout! Did alot of research on it and found a great beginners workout, that can greatly improve your love muscle in about all areas!
> 
> I have been doing it about 1.5 weeks now and I have found I greatly enjoy the 30-45 minutes of alone time do to my PE workout and it also gives me time with my thoughts, a confidence boost
> and a healthier muscle.
> 
> Beginner's Forum - Penis Forum





nice777guy said:


> WTF???


Been quietly sitting at my desk wiping tears and bits of drool due to laughter, off my face for the last 5 minutes - hoping nobody comes over and my phone doesn't ring.


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## DALMORE

nice777guy said:


> Read a book recommended here - The Way of the Superior Man. The author described alcohol as a type of "feminine energy", but never really explained what this meant.
> 
> I think he meant that it drains us of life, doesn't add to it.
> 
> Any ideas on THAT one?


I think what he means refers to the fact that Chronic Alcohol abuse is associated with low testosterone and altered levels of all male reproductive hormones.


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## DALMORE

And by the way (as many of you laugh re P.E.) how can 'Working on yourself" get any more manly than exercising the one muscle that defines us as men!?


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## AFEH

nice777guy said:


> Just a couple of quick, possibly useless observations:
> 
> Men like Clint Eastwood movies - women like Steel Magnolias and Dirty Dancing. To me, it proves there are differences.
> 
> Used to believe that crap about "nothing is more sexy than a man who loves his children..." - except maybe a large muscular dude with a great tan, a few tatoos and all the time in the world to do nothing but pay attention to you, while the "other guy" is at home changing diapers and doing dishes.
> 
> Having an identity crisis here...NOT trying to get in touch with my feminine side at all - quite the opposite.


Oooh flip and flop.

Dear Mr Nice.

Identity crisis is a Massive Thing in a man’s life. Been there. It’s kinda like tough shxte. It’s truly Massive.

There is something very wrong in your life. If you are at all like me. It will take you years to find out what it is. I don’t think there are any “short cuts”. If there are I truly hope you find them. You are doing way better than me, simply by being here, in this place.

Bob


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## nice777guy

Deejo said:


> Been quietly sitting at my desk wiping tears and bits of drool due to laughter, off my face for the last 5 minutes - hoping nobody comes over and my phone doesn't ring.


Yeah - cube neighbor just asked why I was laughing - was trying to hold it in - sounds like I'm wheezing or something...


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## nice777guy

Of course its tempting to check out the link, but I think I'd better wait until I get home!

Bob - if I'm doing better than you, then I'm really, really sorry! I'm struggling here...


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## Deejo

Hmm ... penis exercises or go out, hunt, kill, and gut some furry woodland creature ... *thinking*

One definitely involves far less time and materials investment.


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## nice777guy

Could probably "work out" while I'm at my desk at work. The grin on my face would certainly make people wonder...


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## seeking sanity

I think that posting on a penis enhancement website, could constitute rock bottom for a man. 

Thank god for small miracles. 

But yes a solo workout could fit the bill later, since my workout partner is currently pissed at me.


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## AFEH

nice777guy said:


> Of course its tempting to check out the link, but I think I'd better wait until I get home!
> 
> Bob - if I'm doing better than you, then I'm really, really sorry! I'm struggling here...


I'm ok you're ok. Tis truly a time to be by yourself. Wankings just a holding pattern. Just a sympton. That's all it is.

You do not know who you are. It's time maybe to find out just who you are. If you are like me you will discover that you are one really nice and special Person.

Bob


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## AFEH

seeking sanity said:


> I think that posting on a penis enhancement website, could constitute rock bottom for a man.
> 
> Thank god for small miracles.
> 
> But yes a solo workout could fit the bill later, since my workout partner is currently pissed at me.


Yup. Tis truly rock bottom. A sign for us that somthing is so very wrong in our life.

Bob


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## MEM2020

My top two: 
- Strength training - the goal is to be fit AND have a nice strong upper body. Some women like the giant steroidal gorilla look. Many others are quite happy with a guy looks like a welter weight boxer. I don't take steroids so I did the WW boxer look in my mid 20's and have simply kept it. 6 pack is now a 4 pack - hey at least it hasn't turned into a keg.
- Verbal skills - and my top two there:
1. being funny 
2. being able to tease / banter be playful - clever with other people - women get hot watching you skillfully joust with other folks be they men or women

Verbal skills can definitely be greatly improved with practice. 







nice777guy said:


> Could probably "work out" while I'm at my desk at work. The grin on my face would certainly make people wonder...


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## AFEH

nice777guy said:


> Having an identity crisis here...NOT trying to get in touch with my feminine side at all - quite the opposite.


You have an identity crisis, because of the things said in the thread? Or is that why you started the topic?

I had an identity crisis. I knew it when I was stood in front of a young woman paying for some groceries. Best analogy I came up with is that I felt like I was a pain of glass she could see right through. I suddenly realised I didn't have a clue who she was looking at.

I started rebuilding my identity with the thought "I think therefore I am". At the time that’s all I knew about my self.

Bob


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## nice777guy

Things said in this forum - by men and women - are causing me to re-evaluate what it means to be a "man".

Also - my wife was (and still is) my focus in life for nearly the last 20 years. Now that I'm basically alone, I have no idea what "I" want anymore.

Its actually kind of sad - people ask you what you want to do with your life, and you don't really have an answer.

My kids are obviously still very important to me, but I need more - I deserve more.

I don't think my marriage will heal. Even then, I need to get myself stronger for any future relationships - romantic or otherwise. No more enabling. No more being too nice to people - avoiding conflict to keep the peace.

My world is changing - and I want to drive some of those changes myself and stop sitting around waiting to see what life will do to me next.


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## AFEH

Our behaviour is quite literally driven by what we value and what we believe in. So it follows that our life is dictated by what we value and believe in. It’s good to discover what we value and believe in. Anthony Robbins is good at that stuff.

I’m kind of like in the same boat as yourself. I was with the same woman since I was 18, I’m now 61. A while back I did an “emotional intelligence test”. I came out so optimistic it’s quite unreal. I never for example considered the possibility of failure. I’m a natural born optimist. So I’ve re-evaluated my values and beliefs based on what will bring me yet more joy and happiness in my life. I know one day down the line that’s going to include another special woman in my life but romancing is not for me right now.

So I have a two year plan, it’s quite simple. I’m staying in the area I’m living now because I enjoy it. I’ve many good friends here, two minutes from the beach, things like that. I’m going to sell this house, buy a plot of land, put a wooden chalet on it and then build a two bed roomed bungalow. I’m already up and running with things I enjoy, I repair PCs and print images onto canvases to sell. I thoroughly enjoy those things.

Of course you’re re-evaluating what it means to be a man. I’ve got just one label for myself and it’s “Friendly helpful Bob”. That’s all I want to be.

Bob


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## seeking sanity

You may want to read the book "No More Mr Nice Guy." It is an incredible book on the personality profile of those of us that are just "nice guys", but really full of pain, passive aggression, etc. There are exercises in the book on how to get what you want in life. The author is awesome. I did a bit of telephone counselling with him, and his advice is, by far, the best I've received.


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## nice777guy

sanity - actually have it at home; have read 1st chapter, but stopped to read "Surviving the Affair" - will resume soon;


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## DALMORE

Actually...all BS aside. If your really trying to 'work on yourself'. Your best bet is to find a really good counselor/therapist. If you are not insured some federally qualified healthcare centers (FQHC's or CHC's - community healh centers) offer behavorial/mental health services for a very reduced rate.


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## nice777guy

For now, Marriage Therapy has transitioned to "my" therapy;


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## seeking sanity

nice, i get you are suffering. Dealing with an affair is brutal, even for the manliest of men. Just know that your angst, fear, vulnerability, pain, all of it, is normal. 

I literally cried every day for a year. Buckets of tears. I still cry every so often, three years out. Prior to that I remember crying as an adult exactly ONCE, when my first daughter was born.

Affairs f*ck you up, in a profound and terrible way.

Now may not be the best time to do real soul searching kind of personal work. You're too messed up dealing with other emotions.


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## lastinline

seeking sanity said:


> nice, i get you are suffering. Dealing with an affair is brutal, even for the manliest of men. Just know that your angst, fear, vulnerability, pain, all of it, is normal.
> 
> I literally cried every day for a year. Buckets of tears. I still cry every so often, three years out. Prior to that I remember crying as an adult exactly ONCE, when my first daughter was born.
> 
> Affairs f*ck you up, in a profound and terrible way.
> 
> Now may not be the best time to do real soul searching kind of personal work. You're too messed up dealing with other emotions.


Well said. My thought is that in some seasons of my life I can realistically expect to grow, and in others I simply must be content with surviving. Life is about timing. 

If you are dealing with the fallout of an affair; you are sort of like a hibernating bear, and for a time it's probably best to hole up and live off the "fat" of what you have already done. No move is always smarter than the wrong move. Heal, mend, and wait, as summer always comes. Why did the end of that last sentence sound like the title of a porno flick? .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OhGeesh

I agree to do what feels right to you!! Most guys like guns, hunting, fishing, watching sports, I'm NOT THAT guy!! Except for fishing I could care less and don't even fish, but I would I guess.

I love to workout though so I do that and have always done that since being a teenager. Not knowing your age watch out for many of the extreme cardio workouts these days with alot of box jumps and plyometrics. These workouts are for people who play sports no reason to do box jumps and kettle ball throws at 30+ imo. Just asking for trouble!

Again do what comes natural not what fits the mold:

**Just edited because I didn't realize you and your wife were going through ringer**

Working out, elliptical, strict diet, alot of movies, non fiction books, magazines, non news channels like discovery, HGTV, History channel, cars, and bubble baths make me pretty freaking happy.

Of course like you my wife and kids are the paramount add them to my list and that's my life!


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## OhGeesh

nice777guy said:


> Just a couple of quick, possibly useless observations:
> 
> Men like Clint Eastwood movies - women like Steel Magnolias and Dirty Dancing. To me, it proves there are differences.
> 
> Used to believe that crap about "nothing is more sexy than a man who loves his children..." - except maybe a large muscular dude with a great tan, a few tatoos and all the time in the world to do nothing but pay attention to you, while the "other guy" is at home changing diapers and doing dishes.
> 
> Having an identity crisis here...NOT trying to get in touch with my feminine side at all - quite the opposite.


That's hillarious!! I'm the latter except with big muscles and a medium tan and one tattoo. and that goes for the movies.....love my chick flicks!! Rarely like shoot em up guy movies.


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## nice777guy

Thanks OhGeesh - I'll add Bubble Baths and chick flicks to my list!!!

Actually a nice reminder that being a man - first and foremost - is being true to yourself.

I need to start working out again. I've been avoiding that - but I need to lose about 30 pounds. I know some people don't eat, and some eat more, when they go through this. I've been eating more.

And I think I need to drop the alcohol. Doing so will help with the weight loss and the depressed feelings. Normally I wouldn't consider this to be a problem, but I think its something fairly easy to change that would have a positive impact.

Probably the most manly thing I enjoy is playing bass guitar. Love to crank up some loud music and let the bass boom. Maybe I'll go buy a new amp - a big one like I had before I got married.

And maybe I can start challenging myself to play more difficult songs - put my mind into something positive. Music has always had a soothing, healing effect for me - even with its loud and obnoxious.

Then, a bubble bath and Dirty Dancing!!!


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## BigBadWolf

This is a more enjoyable and encouraging thread around. 

Working out and exercise have so many side benefits it goes without saying, the physical appearance and health, but also the mental and emotional confidence building worth the weight in gold.

Guns, I would say as long as there is the social aspect involved it maybe would be beneficial, such as trap or skeet or social hunting or target shooting. Otherwise it could be an expensive and somewhat disappointment return on investment if one is looking to reconnect as in "manly things" (although proper firearms training and lawful self defense I fully support that is clearly not the intent of this thread!)

But the true gem is what I see about you getting back into playing bass guitar. Even you may discover how easy it would be to get hooked up into a local ensemble (as you will know guitar players are a 'dime a dozen' but blass players are in demand!!!) and the social and mental horizons that expand when playing music are good medicine for the time you are going through right now. 

Yes, buy the big amp for yourself, with the economy many fellows are selling their gigging rigs at rock bottom prices, and even the bass players that are still working hard are often trading up to the new smaller and lighter stuff, letting their big, heavy (but loud) rigs go pretty cheap actually. A good time to be a buyer.

In all these things, the most important is to find something for yourself to enjoy and excell at. What it is specifically is not so important, just that it provides the structure to allow you to immerse yourself in the activity, and the bonus would be that it would provide social interaction. 

I wish you well.


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## nice777guy

Always nice when a thread comes back from the dead like this!

Wife was at the house over the weekend - she saw a list of stuff to do I had made and was being nosy. Not cool, but whatever.

I had put on the list - somewhat jokingly - "get permit, buy a gun." Caught her eye immediately!!! 

Of course I had to tell her that it was nothing - wouldn't want her to go around telling people I'm becoming crazed and violent - but still a little funny to see her reaction.

Maybe tonight I should go home and cross off "get a permit" and leave the list where she'll see it again.

BBW - one of the reasons I took up bass in middle school was I knew I could always find a band! 

Played Back in Black - the whole cd - from beginning to end Friday night when no one else was at home. Was a nice release. And yes - if I take it a bit more seriously and work to get better, there are definitely mental and emotional benefits to playing music.


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## BrooksPublicationCom

Hi,

What exactly do you want to work on ? Is it 
something physical,mental,spiritual,emotional,
is it being a better husband,being a better parent,
being a better friend,or all of the above ?

If you had to write a list of how you want your
life to be one year from now what would you write ?
Write the first thing that comes to your mind,don't
think about how you are going to do it or if you
can do it just write it down.

Does your list involve other people or something
that you want to do on your own?

Looking at your list rate the items according to
how important they are to you. 

I would start off with working on the highest item 
on my list and everyday do something on it no matter
how small it is,then work my way down the list.

You will find that you can't wait to get up in the 
morning and work on your list I know I can wait to
get up each day and work on my list.

The Very Best To You,
Brooks


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## nice777guy

Making life our own 

“Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.” 
-- Stephen Vincent Benet 

What’s needed for a new relationship with time and life? 

Intention -- Get really clear about what you want. 

Desire -- How much do you want something new for yourself? Know your motivation. Desire brings the energy for change. 

Belief and/or willingness to trust you can have what you want. If belief is lacking, can you believe in the possibility that you can find a new way of living? 

Perseverance, discipline -- It takes time and effort to change attitudes and habits. We can’t expect a new life overnight. 

Acceptance, both of what’s happening now and of who we are. Until we honestly and openly accept our present situation, we cannot change it. 

A willingness to try something new.


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## Niceguy13

someway unhealthy but driving I love just getting in the car and going for a drive (yes usualy speeding) and feeling the road under the tires and the give and take of the wheel on a nice curve.I think a lot so driving hard forces me to quit thinking and concentrate on the task at hand.


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## AFEH

Mine's motorbiking. My next bike is a cruiser, I'm just picking it out now, probably going to be a Honda Shadow. It'll get me around to the to the World Heritage sites and golf courses I'm to photograph.

Bob


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## Conrad

AFEH said:


> Mine's motorbiking. My next bike is a cruiser, I'm just picking it out now, probably going to be a Honda Shadow. It'll get me around to the to the World Heritage sites and golf courses I'm to photograph.
> 
> Bob


Mine also.

Kawasaki Vulcan 1600

Purrs like a kitten - moves like a panther


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## nice777guy

Kind of bummed here. My main "Man-up" activity turned out to be Judo. My instructor is leaving town and the program is likely dying. Some of the students are moving to a Karate class, and we've actually been doing some of it in Judo for the last two weeks (I guess to get our interest up.) Just not the same. Feel like I'm punching and kicking air - not as much fun as literally throwing someone around.

Going to take a few weeks off - visit some other programs - and maybe do some strength training.


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## AFEH

Conrad said:


> Mine also.
> 
> Kawasaki Vulcan 1600
> 
> Purrs like a kitten - moves like a panther


That's a beaut. My son's probably going to hire a bike for a holiday over Easter and we were looking through them last night. I’m surprised that re really likes the retro style, bikes that were around in my teens, the 60s Nortons, Triumphs etc. He said I should get one, he reckons it’d be good for “pulling”. But for me that would make me look like an older guy on an old bike, not exactly the image I have of myself! I ain’t there yet!

Bob


----------



## troy

Whether its considered manly activities or not, here is what I do that makes my day a little brigher.

Golf, portrait drawing, bass guitar, gardening - and actually that is pretty much it. Dont do much else on a regular basis.


----------



## nice777guy

troy said:


> Whether its considered manly activities or not, here is what I do that makes my day a little brigher.
> 
> Golf, portrait drawing, bass guitar, gardening - and actually that is pretty much it. Dont do much else on a regular basis.


Golf!!!

I'm going to take this thin stick, with a slightly thicker part at the bottom and hit that little bitty ball into a whole that's somewhere over that hill - so far away that I either can't see it, or I need a flag to be able to spot it.

Yes - in other words - I've tried it enough to know that I totally suck at it!!! Although I do enjoy the serenity of a golf course and usually the company I keep.

And I guess its the only "sport" you can do while drinking beer at noon.


----------



## Conrad

Just one more note on exercise.

MEM advised taking hand weights on your walk with you.

Damn - what an experience.

Feels like an elliptical workout while you can enjoy the outside.

I've got the tingle just from walking around the block and doing a few sets of isometric stuff while walking (for 1/2 hour)

Can't wait to do it again.


----------



## nice777guy

Conrad said:


> I've got the tingle just from walking around the block and doing a few sets of isometric stuff while walking (for 1/2 hour)


What kind of isometric stuff?


----------



## Conrad

nice777guy said:


> What kind of isometric stuff?


Curls, turn the dumbbell sideways and work your forearm, hold them behind your head and slowly raise them skyward in sequence, waist up to your chin slowly, pressing them slowly skyward as if you had a bar between them, etc.

Still tingling

So much more than simply doing it anaerobically


----------



## Deejo

Strength training is primal. Man vs. Weight.

It's important, from a health perspective, and from a mental health perspective.

I am not and have never been a big guy, but I won't ever stop working out. I may take an occasional break ...

So NG, I definitely advocate strength training. Results usually come quickly, they are measurable, and by it's nature, strength training challenges you to consistently make progress.

It will also help you sculpt a killer beach bod ...

I also like fishing, and have rediscovered paintball. Nothing more fun than stalking your friends and lighting them up like a Christmas tree.

Good friend of mine and I are planning on a freshwater fishing trip up in Maine.


----------



## nice777guy

Deejo said:


> Strength training is primal. Man vs. Weight.
> 
> It's important, from a health perspective, and from a mental health perspective.
> 
> I am not and have never been a big guy, but I won't ever stop working out. I may take an occasional break ...
> 
> So NG, I definitely advocate strength training. Results usually come quickly, they are measurable, and by it's nature, strength training challenges you to consistently make progress.
> 
> It will also help you sculpt a killer beach bod ...
> 
> I also like fishing, and have rediscovered paintball. Nothing more fun than stalking your friends and lighting them up like a Christmas tree.
> 
> Good friend of mine and I are planning on a freshwater fishing trip up in Maine.


Also hoping to carry gains from weight training back into whatever martial art I pick back up with.

So Conrad - you are walking - in your neighborhood? or a gym? - while throwing weights around at the same time?

I've thought about that before - but I've NEVER seen anyone do it.

I've seen one or two people - years ago - throwing weights around (curls, presses) while on the bike machine.

Funny how fitness trends change. Strength training seems to have made a big comeback. Very practical - training yourself to lift, push and pull heavy objects.


----------



## Conrad

Walking in the neighborhood - fresh air.



nice777guy said:


> Also hoping to carry gains from weight training back into whatever martial art I pick back up with.
> 
> So Conrad - you are walking - in your neighborhood? or a gym? - while throwing weights around at the same time?
> 
> I've thought about that before - but I've NEVER seen anyone do it.
> 
> I've seen one or two people - years ago - throwing weights around (curls, presses) while on the bike machine.
> 
> Funny how fitness trends change. Strength training seems to have made a big comeback. Very practical - training yourself to lift, push and pull heavy objects.


----------



## alphaomega

MEM11363 said:


> My top two:
> - Strength training - the goal is to be fit AND have a nice strong upper body. Some women like the giant steroidal gorilla look. Many others are quite happy with a guy looks like a welter weight boxer. I don't take steroids so I did the WW boxer look in my mid 20's and have simply kept it. 6 pack is now a 4 pack - hey at least it hasn't turned into a keg.
> - Verbal skills - and my top two there:
> 1. being funny
> 2. being able to tease / banter be playful - clever with other people - women get hot watching you skillfully joust with other folks be they men or women
> 
> Verbal skills can definitely be greatly improved with practice.


MEM,

Any advise as to what to read on how to improve these verbal skills? I don't have an issue with communication, per say, and can joke with the res of them...but there's just that little extra you see in some people that truly makes them proficient speakers.

Already working on the Working Out at the gym. I'm loving the definition coming out in my body now. I can honestly say...I'm looking forward to having one of those beach bodies, finally. Talk about a confidence booster.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## alphaomega

I've always wanted to be awesome at martial arts. Something really deadly. Hmmm....what's that saying about my psych...lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Conrad

alphaomega said:


> MEM,
> 
> Any advise as to what to read on how to improve these verbal skills? I don't have an issue with communication, per say, and can joke with the res of them...but there's just that little extra you see in some people that truly makes them proficient speakers.
> 
> Already working on the Working Out at the gym. I'm loving the definition coming out in my body now. I can honestly say...I'm looking forward to having one of those beach bodies, finally. Talk about a confidence booster.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Memorize some good quick jokes.

I'll give you a few here:

"Why are there no Disney parks in China?"

There's no one tall enough for the good rides....


"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?"

With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.


For AFEH:

"What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?"

The position of the dirtbag


----------



## Runs like Dog

What's the difference between a Jersey girl and a lightbulb?

You can eat a lightbulb if you really have to.


----------



## Halien

nice777guy said:


> Also hoping to carry gains from weight training back into whatever martial art I pick back up with.
> 
> So Conrad - you are walking - in your neighborhood? or a gym? - while throwing weights around at the same time?
> 
> I've thought about that before - but I've NEVER seen anyone do it.
> 
> I've seen one or two people - years ago - throwing weights around (curls, presses) while on the bike machine.
> 
> Funny how fitness trends change. Strength training seems to have made a big comeback. Very practical - training yourself to lift, push and pull heavy objects.


Not sure of your age, but look up aging and muscle loss. It might help convince you to make weights a permanent part of your life.

Like some of the others, I don't like the really large muscle look, but I have worked out for around 30 years. There's no jar I can't open, and the abdominal stamina is helpful in certain ... intimate situations. Still, I only view the weightlifing as a foundation for the other things I like to do, whether as a hobby ... or whatever.


----------



## Conrad

Runs like Dog said:


> What's the difference between a Jersey girl and a lightbulb?
> 
> You can eat a lightbulb if you really have to.


Trenton... incoming... 5.........4..........3..........2........1.....


----------



## nice777guy

Halien said:


> Not sure of your age, but look up aging and muscle loss. It might help convince you to make weights a permanent part of your life.
> 
> Like some of the others, I don't like the really large muscle look, but I have worked out for around 30 years. There's no jar I can't open, and the abdominal stamina is helpful in certain ... intimate situations. Still, I only view the weightlifing as a foundation for the other things I like to do, whether as a hobby ... or whatever.


39 here. Would like to lose weight. Seems like more articles these days recommend losing weight by gaining muscle and increasing your metabolism - as opposed to the old (5 years ago) theory of aerobic exercise.

As for muscles - I just want some good old fashioned functional strength. Want to be able to move or lift heavy stuff - including people (judo throws).


----------



## alphaomega

nice777guy said:


> 39 here. Would like to lose weight. Seems like more articles these days recommend losing weight by gaining muscle and increasing your metabolism - as opposed to the old (5 years ago) theory of aerobic exercise.
> 
> As for muscles - I just want some good old fashioned functional strength. Want to be able to move or lift heavy stuff - including people (judo throws).


I'm torn on this theory. Some articles say increased muscle mass will burn LOTS of extra fat, but then others indicate that it's not as large an increase as some people indicate.

Me, I'm just up for building more muscle because, well, it DOES look awesome. Plus healthy for you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## nice777guy

alphaomega said:


> I'm torn on this theory. Some articles say increased muscle mass will burn LOTS of extra fat, but then others indicate that it's not as large an increase as some people indicate.
> 
> Me, I'm just up for building more muscle because, well, it DOES look awesome. Plus healthy for you!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Right. Main thing is to be able to get off your ass, push yourself a bit, and hopefully find something you'll enjoy and want to continue doing.

I remember I used to hate doing deadlifts but now it looks like the most important exercise you can do. What's more functional and practical than picking something heavy up?


----------



## Niceguy13

ok a couple said motorbiking here am I the only driver? Well fine then after I get resituated and am hiway patrol I am busting every single one of you for doing a mile over.

Yes I plan on going into highway patrol spend 90 percent of my work time sitting on arse trying to catch speeders being allowed to legally speed to catch them....I can live with that. Its like all them deranged people that become surgeons because they like cutting people.


----------



## Heinz Doofenshmirtz

I'm getting back into cycling... From the time I was 19 to 30 my only transportation was good ole pedal power... even did some amateur mt. bike racing and got pretty fast and damn fit... had a resting heart rate of 50...

But that was 20 years ago and now I'm middle aged and fat. But, I joined the local gym within walking distance of my house and have lost six lbs in six weeks. I'm getting stronger again, and am looking forward to doing more biking. I put myself through college working as a bicycle mechanic and became a very good wheel-builder... There's a tremendous amount of satisfaction that comes from taking a handful of spokes, a hub, and a rim, and making something that can bear 2,000x it's own weight... In other words, I'm gonna build a nice new set of wheels for my bike and start working on my mileage totals...


----------



## Wrench

Great thread guys, I'm learning a lot (and not just about wiener girth exercises)

I'm in the middle of nowhere but there's a local guy who teaches kick boxing, I think I'll sign up to keep my mind occupied. I live on a lake so I might try fishing, I usually work on my triumph chopper or hot rod's but that just leads to beer swilling and I have to watch that.


----------



## luckyman

I don't understand the "manly" qualifier here. For me, I am a man. Period. I do not have to seek out ways to affirm or confirm this. I have a wife, two boys, a profession, and all the necessary "equipment" to prove this to myself. I don't like knitting, sewing, or book clubs. I don't wear make up, or seek spa treatments. I don't get manicures or pedicures. However, if any of these activities helped me to improve who I am, I would engage in them and they would become "manly." 

What helps me improve who I am is a combination of activities that are connected to a belief system that defines who I am. I know that if I ignore emotions that I am prone to over-react emotionally at some point, and this usually takes the form of anger. Because of this I need to recognize my emotions and identify my feelings. Doing this helps me from becoming overly angry, or over sensitive. I do this by admitting to myself when I feel a certain way. 

Being mindful helps me to recognize what is going on around me in my life at that very moment. I get out of my head and I can focus. Meditation helps me with this. Insight meditation helps me to focus my thoughts when needed during my day. It allows me to be fully present to my wife, kids and colleagues. I am less likely to make mistakes when I meditate and focus regularly.

Being physical is a necessary part of my personal care routine. I play soccer, run and work out with weights. When I maintain a balance of emotional, mental and physical activity in my life, I grow. When I do not, I tend to atrophy. This is how I grow as a man.


----------



## Heinz Doofenshmirtz

luckyman said:


> Being physical is a necessary part of my personal care routine. I play soccer, run and work out with weights. When I maintain a balance of emotional, mental and physical activity in my life, I grow. When I do not, I tend to atrophy. This is how I grow as a man.


WORD!!!

Well put.

You're not actually Robert Bly are you?


----------



## Blue Firefly

nice777guy said:


> Is golf considered "Manly"?


Yes, golf is a masculine sport.

Dean Martin and the rest of the Rat Pack were avid golfers. Golf has a reputation as a "drink a few drinks, smoke a cigar, bad boy" activity.

Golf is still associated with rich, powerful men. Bankers and doctors play golf. The plumber goes bowling.

Golf is actually a good choice if you want to add a few "man points."

*) Nobody is good at golf (unless they started very young). Now, you can become good at one phase of golf (putting, chipping, driving) if you focus on that one phase, but the odds are you (and everyone you play) will be lousy in several areas also. 

What's more, being a natural athlete is no guarantee you'll be a good golfer. If you were the skinny nerd in HS, there's every chance you'll be a better golfer than the HS QB. 

Heck, you don't even have to be in good shape to play golf. You play it in street clothes. Your ride in a cart. I've seen 300 pound guys play golf.

*) Golf doesn't have to be expensive (unless you want it to be). It's a seasonal sport, so you don't spend money year round. You don't need super expensive clubs unless you just want them. A perfectly adequate set of clubs (with bag) can be had new for under $300. Playing a round can be expensive (although public courses are not too bad), but hitting a bucket of balls at a driving range, chipping in your back yard, and hitting into a net in your back yard also count as playing golf. And, they are all cheap.

*) Golf gives your wife an answer to the question "what are your husband's hobbies?" that she can feel good about saying in front of others. Years ago, a woman told me her husband's hobby was reading. Only later did I find out that what he read was comic books, and his wife was embarrassed as hell about telling people that, so she fudged it.

I know fantasy-football and playing video games are "men's" activities (because it's mostly men that participate in them), but I guarantee your wife doesn't think it's masculine.

I think every man needs at least one "macho" hobby (be it fishing, woodworking, or playing drums in rock band), just so your wife can answer the hobby question without being embarrassed. 

PS

Golf clothes can look pretty dorky (plaid pants), but they can also look pretty darned masculine also.


----------



## TheManinBlack

nice777guy said:


> Trying to change things up a bit.
> 
> What are some more masculine ways to work on yourself?
> 
> In the past, I've always thought about yoga, meditation, etc., etc.,
> 
> Not sure I'm ready for MMA training, but a heavy bag hung in the garage for pounding on sounds pretty good right now.
> 
> Suggestions?
> 
> Had a doctor once tell me that men do better when making contact with things - gave the example of the driving range or batting cages.


If MMA is what you like, then visit a club! I do BJJ and MMA twice a week and new people with no experience join all the time.


----------



## SoWhat

Things I do - I don't think of it as "working on myself" ... just engaging in the things I love, the things that give me meaning, my passions: 

Writing/Performing music

Running track (sprints) competitively (I'm 28 and feel like I'm my peak, times-wise... not sure how much fun it will be in 10 years when everything is declining). - as part of this I do a lot of heavy weight training. 

Reading - everything. Philosophy (undergrad/grad degrees in it), literature, history/prehistory, psychology, etc. 

Writing - mostly just journals now. maybe I'll get back to fiction someday.

EDIT:
Oh, and less "manly" - starting to do some light yoga in the morning. I find it helps me loosen up and "prime" for my afternoon track/weights.


----------



## Blue Firefly

Part of the evaluation should be what your wife thinks is manly.

I'm a voracious reader, and I've even heard my wife brag to a friend about how quickly I can devour a book. But, does she think reading is manly? No, not at all.

If your goal is to do something just for yourself, then do it and screw what anyone else thinks about it.

If your goal is to gain a few man points with your spouse, then you should consider their attitude toward the activity.


----------



## nice777guy

Wow! Another thread back from the dead!

Was recently watching Louie C.K. - he said that over the years he's gotten really good at two things - being a great Dad - and masturbating! Acknowledging that these aren't two things you normally want to put on the same list - but thats what he excels at!

And wow - I can relate!

Haven't really had time for much lately outside of work and being a part-time single Dad. I exercise when I can, play guitar when I can - and some nights it's great to just sit back and watch a movie by myself!

Been divorced for a little over a year now. Still suffering from a bit of an identity crisis, but I'm much more comfortable in my own skin than I was back when I started this thread.

Anybody ever check out that Penis exercise link from a few pages back???


----------



## nice777guy

TheManinBlack said:


> If MMA is what you like, then visit a club! I do BJJ and MMA twice a week and new people with no experience join all the time.


I did Judo and Karate for about a year. Loved it! Just can't fit a class into my schedule right now. Still do some of the exercises on my own from time to time. And Judo is a great parenting tool - being able to throw your kid down without hurting them - very important!


----------



## nice777guy

SoWhat said:


> Things I do - I don't think of it as "working on myself" ... just engaging in the things I love, the things that give me meaning, my passions:
> 
> Writing/Performing music
> 
> Running track (sprints) competitively (I'm 28 and feel like I'm my peak, times-wise... not sure how much fun it will be in 10 years when everything is declining). - as part of this I do a lot of heavy weight training.
> 
> Reading - everything. Philosophy (undergrad/grad degrees in it), literature, history/prehistory, psychology, etc.
> 
> Writing - mostly just journals now. maybe I'll get back to fiction someday.
> 
> EDIT:
> Oh, and less "manly" - starting to do some light yoga in the morning. I find it helps me loosen up and "prime" for my afternoon track/weights.


I think Yoga is very underrated - especially as we get older.

Truly some great ideas here...


----------



## popit7

try a water sport buddy. nothing better than being out on the water especially paddling or rowing. its really nice knowing that the only thing u can hear is the sound of water against the canoe and ur free. water also immitates the feeling of freedom and also helps calm ur mind and help u think....if thats what u want to do....or it will help u relax and not think of anything at all.


----------



## nice777guy

popit7 said:


> try a water sport buddy. nothing better than being out on the water especially paddling or rowing. its really nice knowing that the only thing u can hear is the sound of water against the canoe and ur free. water also immitates the feeling of freedom and also helps calm ur mind and help u think....if thats what u want to do....or it will help u relax and not think of anything at all.


Great idea!


----------



## popit7

I introduced my wife to outrigging last uear and its helped a little bit with her depression. I told her the exact same thing and she finally realised that there is something that can calm her down and stop havin anxiety attacks and panic attacks although she does panic with the thought of paddling around in a shark infested water ( bull shark breeding ground to be exact ). But point is. It helped


----------



## Caribbean Man

popit7 said:


> try a water sport buddy. nothing better than being out on the water especially paddling or rowing. its really nice knowing that the only thing u can hear is the sound of water against the canoe and ur free. water also immitates the feeling of freedom and also helps calm ur mind and help u think....if thats what u want to do....or it will help u relax and not think of anything at all.


My wife and I do a lot of Kayaking.

I used to scuba dive a lot and I also love sailing.
I haven't bought a boat as yet, but I intend to.
Give me water sport any day!


----------



## Dad&Hubby

nice777guy said:


> Trying to change things up a bit.
> 
> What are some more masculine ways to work on yourself?
> 
> In the past, I've always thought about yoga, meditation, etc., etc.,
> 
> Not sure I'm ready for MMA training, but a heavy bag hung in the garage for pounding on sounds pretty good right now.
> 
> Suggestions?
> 
> Had a doctor once tell me that men do better when making contact with things - gave the example of the driving range or batting cages.


Clean and jerk the engine out of your car. While holding it in your left hand, change the oil and spark plugs and check the fluids.

Curl it 12 times and then reinstall it. Make sure to get one oil smudge on your face.

and do it in a loose white t-shirt that some how remains clean through it all with tight but worn jeans.


What?!?!


----------



## Dad&Hubby

Seriously though.

Don't underestimate speed bag, heavy bag and jump rope work outs.

They're AWESOME.

And don't skimp on the weight of the heavy bag. 100lbs minimum otherwise you need a spotter or aren't hitting hard enough.


----------



## Deejo

Drinking. Whiskey.

I have learned a great deal about spirits and mixology.

It is a skill that makes for a refined conversational gentleman. Or of course a drunken man-child.

Your mileage may vary.

Did I already post this or am I having an ADD moment?


----------



## nice777guy

Deejo said:


> Drinking. Whiskey.
> 
> I have learned a great deal about spirits and mixology.
> 
> It is a skill that makes for a refined conversational gentleman. Or of course a drunken man-child.
> 
> Your mileage may vary.
> 
> Did I already post this or am I having an ADD moment?


Dunno. Has been debated of course rather or not drinking is truly a Masculine Alpha trait.

I'm thinking its best to avoid the drunken man-child thing...

And that Whiskey is the Drink of Real Men.


----------



## Blue Firefly

nice777guy said:


> Dunno. Has been debated of course rather or not drinking is truly a Masculine Alpha trait.


Drinking is; getting drunk is not. 

James Bond drank all the time, but did you ever see him drunk? Drinking is dangerous in that it's easy to let it get out of control (and control you). Being able to handle something dangerous and keep it under control is a masculine trait.

Knowing how to handle your liquor = manly. Not knowing how to handle you liquor (& getting drunk) = not manly.

It also depends on what you are drinking. 

Fru-fru mixed drinks with fruit and an umbrella are not masculine. I'm inclined to think that anything a woman typically orders (like say a margarita or a glass of white wine) is not masculine.

Whiskey (straight or on the rocks) would get my vote for most masculine drink. But, mix it with something (like coke or ginger ale) and you lose all man points (imho). 

Beer is a wash. Woman drink it, but it has enough masculine legacy that you won't lost points on it (unless it's some fru-fru light beer from Europe).


----------



## Blue Firefly

Deejo said:


> I have learned a great deal about spirits and mixology.
> 
> It is a skill that makes for a refined conversational gentleman. Or of course a drunken man-child.


I have noticed that my skill in mixing drinks is something my wife often brags about to her friends. "My husband makes the BEST margaritas."

In all honesty, I'm not that good overall, but I do have a few drinks that I have gotten pretty darned good at. Maybe this is a skill where quality is more important that quantity.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

Deejo said:


> Drinking. Whiskey.
> 
> I have learned a great deal about spirits and mixology.
> 
> It is a skill that makes for a refined conversational gentleman. Or of course a drunken man-child.
> 
> Your mileage may vary.
> 
> Did I already post this or am I having an ADD moment?


Last night I was pouring shots from a $375 bottle of Lagavulin here at the office. It felt kind of like Mad Men. One of the ladies commented that it was the most "masculine" drink she ever had and that it seemed like it would go great with a Cuban cigar.


----------



## Aitrus

Lots of focus on physical fitness in this thread. Agreed, very important. 

That said, however, strength of body without strength of mind makes you a thuggish bodyguard. While you exercise your body, pick at least one area of manly knowledge to become an expert on. 

WWII history, strategy, weaponry and tactics is one example. War is why men are built to be more resilient, and knowing the strategies and tactics of war are core to waging it successfully. Very Alpha.

Chess is another, although for some reason it isnt viewed as something that manly men do in America. Chess isn't just a game. It's the ability to think several moves ahead, to plan for contingencies, to execute plans of attack whilst avoiding traps, to see flaws in your opponent's plans and exploit them, to force your opponent to make moves he doesn't wish to make, to force his capitulation to your mounting list of overwhelming advantages, to develop the physical and mental stamina to engage in a battle of wills over a single confrontation that can last for hours with no breaks, and the discipline and patience to not make a move until you've visualized all the possibilities instead of making the first move that springs to mind. Chess is full of things that are vital to strategy and tactics, planning and execution - all Alpha traits. Bobby Fischer, the only American to become World Champion in Chess, and arguably one of the best players in history, was quoted once as saying "I like the moment when I break a man's ego." Can't get much more Alpha than that.

Become an expert in outdoor survival. From personal experience, I can tell you that there's no feeling like any other when you realize you have the knowledge, skills and experience to survive in any environment on the planet for any length of time and with a minimum of equipment. And your skills have been field tested numerous times, so there's no doubt in your mind of your skill to keep yourself and your loved ones alive in that situation. You walk taller, you are more confident, and you feel more at ease with yourself and your surroundings when you know you can survive no matter where you are or whatever Ma Nature throws at you. It's not overconfidence, it's quiet self assuredness.

Acquiring knowledge on a subject you are passionate about - becoming a recognized local expert in that field of knowledge. Being a leader also means being self-educated in your subject of choice. No, that doesn't mean you must get a degree. It can mean acquiring doctorate - level knowledge without going through all the hoops and fluff to get the piece of paper. You do this by becoming an avid patron of the local library, by researching online, by reading recent articles to keep up to date on the latest ideas, research and theories, possibly attending conventions or workshops, etc.

My father in law doesn't have a degree. What he does have is a recognized expertise in coal-fired power plant operation and electrical production from private to national level needs, possesses the skills and experience gained from building / remodeling / rebuilding 7 or 8 homes by hand as a hobby, and can build a computer himself from parts ordered online.

Manliness isn't measured in just the arm. It is measured equally in the mind as well. Don't neglect the one in pursuit of the other.


----------



## Wiserforit

We lumberjack together. At least 70 trees a year. Felling, de-limbing, transporting, bucking them up, splitting, and heating seven months a year. We run a small mill and also build pole buildings so some years it's a lot more. 

*Atrius* - I've spent almost 30 years in Alaska doing the most extreme stuff. Got the tricked-out supercub bushplane, jetboat, track rigs, four wheelers, snow machines, etc. Trapped in the Brooks Range, climbed Mt. McKinley, hunted everywhere, shot every big game animal up here including five bears, commercial fished, logged, cheated death regularly including two plane crashes in the wilderness, gone through the ice on skiis and snowmachines... That wasn't enough though so I did a number of expeditions on the Amazon hunting giant anacondas and alligators, leaopards, then off to the Golden Triangle, Siberia, remote Philippines... I have enough survival stories to fill a couple of books. 

Time to pass the torch now though to my two boys. I can't even imagine bringing them on the expeditions I used to do. I've totally lost my nerve now and look back on all that like I was some other crazy person. Mother nature is a hanging judge.


----------



## Aitrus

Wiserforit said:


> We lumberjack together. At least 70 trees a year. Felling, de-limbing, transporting, bucking them up, splitting, and heating seven months a year. We run a small mill and also build pole buildings so some years it's a lot more.
> 
> *Atrius* - I've spent almost 30 years in Alaska doing the most extreme stuff. Got the tricked-out supercub bushplane, jetboat, track rigs, four wheelers, snow machines, etc. Trapped in the Brooks Range, climbed Mt. McKinley, hunted everywhere, shot every big game animal up here including five bears, commercial fished, logged, cheated death regularly including two plane crashes in the wilderness, gone through the ice on skiis and snowmachines... That wasn't enough though so I did a number of expeditions on the Amazon hunting giant anacondas and alligators, leaopards, then off to the Golden Triangle, Siberia, remote Philippines... I have enough survival stories to fill a couple of books.
> 
> Time to pass the torch now though to my two boys. I can't even imagine bringing them on the expeditions I used to do. I've totally lost my nerve now and look back on all that like I was some other crazy person. Mother nature is a hanging judge.


Wiser,

I grew up in Salcha, about 40 miles south of Fairbanks. Mom's side of the family helped homestead Homer, Kenai and Soldotna. I know the things you've seen and done, and i've lived through a number of them as well. 

My advice above wasn't meant to downplay or disrespect Nature and Her unpredeictibility. It was meant for those who depend upon the trappings of civilization for survival, who believe that a tent and a backpack full of the stuff from FEMA's "survival kit" list on ready.gov is all they really need. 

Like you, I understand what "survival" really means and what being prepared for it truly entails. My purpose with the above was to inspire a desire to improve in an area of highly valuable skill, not to imply that reading a book and watching Bear "I don't know what I'm doing" Grylls makes one a survivor. It was to say that gaining the right knowledge and skill, coupled with real experience, gives one a greater sense of confidence. Of course I haven't lost my respect for what can, and often does, happen. That's why I maintain my skills and situational awareness. 

But for those who haven't had our background or experience, taking the steps to learn will help them a great deal to gain confidence, improve their Alphaness, and gain a valuable life skill - which is what this thread is all about.

My apologies for sending the wrong gmessage. Thanks for getting me to clear it up.


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## Caribbean Man

Aitrus said:


> *Become an expert in outdoor survival. From personal experience, I can tell you that there's no feeling like any other when you realize you have the knowledge, skills and experience to survive in any environment on the planet for any length of time and with a minimum of equipment. And your skills have been field tested numerous times, so there's no doubt in your mind of your skill to keep yourself and your loved ones alive in that situation. You walk taller, you are more confident, and you feel more at ease with yourself and your surroundings when you know you can survive no matter where you are or whatever Ma Nature throws at you. It's not overconfidence, it's quiet self assuredness.*


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


I like your entire post, but I highlighted this part because it reminded me of when I used to be part of a hiking team and a search & rescue organization.
I knew certain parts of our jungles like the back of my hand.

The search & rescue missions that I've been on were some of the most physically and mentally testing times of my life.
Risking my life sometimes to save people I didn't even know.

But it did give me a huge sense of confidence, knowing that I can survive in the harshest of conditions.

One of the toughest missions I've ever been on was after I was married. Some hikers got lost in an area known for steep dangerous narrow,gorges, pit vipers, caves and sinkholes in the forest floor, and marijuana plantations.
They were actually looking for a waterfall, but got lost in the forest. Men , women and children.
They had been lost for 4 days during the rainy season , constant rain, rivers swollen and bursting their banks.
The police & soldiers sent in to find them couldn't locate them, and four of the dogs had been killed by the vipers, they are very vicious and unpredictable during mating season.

They called for our team, they came for me, wife begged me not to go, but I went.
It was really tough. We had to approach that part of the island by sea , because taking the track would cost us time, and a few of the rivers were impossible to cross. Because of the incessant rain and the gorges, there wasn't much radio coverage either.
We found all the hikers, some were being held hostage in a marijuana plantation, we had to negotiate.
Scary business.
But I think the experience taught me a lot about myself.
Enduring extremely dangerous, physical conditions in 12 hours of non stop pouring rain, soaked to the bone required a certain level of mental toughness I didn't even know I had.
Those were literally 12 hours of hell.


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## JCD

nice777guy said:


> Bob - I'm drawn to things like meditation - but I'm wondering if thats a problem. Like I need to balance that with hitting something!


Samurai meditated AND hit things. Just saying.

Granted, I would in no way shape or form call them Enlightened.

But neither am I.


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## Wiserforit

Aitrus said:


> Wiser,
> 
> I grew up in Salcha, about 40 miles south of Fairbanks.


Haha! WAY cool, *Aitrus*! I have a lot of hours up where the Salcha, Chena, and Birch Creek meet, then over to the Yukon. Joe Vogler was a friend of mine so I spent quite a bit of time on Woodchopper Creek at his claims there too. 

South of Salcha I hunted a lot in the Alaska Range, mainly the Wood River and the Little Delta. Warren Prax was also a friend of mine and he crashed his 180 not far from where I totaled a supercub on the Woodie. He died. I made it out alive with a raft I had in the back. Anyway, some guys take 4-wheelers across the Tanana by boat out of Salcha and access the upper Woodie that way. You probably know that trailhead on the South bank there, it goes all the way to the Rex Trail after Blair Lakes. I've landed all over in there on 35" tundra tires. 

I rescued some people on McKinley in 1989. It's actually in a Reader's Digest story published in 1991 called "Swept off Mt. McKinley". I had to rescue Warren once on the Rex Trail off the Totatlanika. Hiked 22 miles in the snow on that one to get a snowmachine and come back for him. 

I didn't mean to get started. Sorry. But Salcha baby, yeah. My friend's mom owned Boondox Bar there, by the way. The Burnett's. Bob moved out for geez about twenty years, but just came back up here and called me last week. 

Nice to see a fellow traveler.


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## Aitrus

I remember that story, Wiser. Good work getting those people out of that place - could'a been bad for them if they were out too much longer.

Jim Dave, Jerry "Frog" Jones and his airboat, ol' Lynx, Jim Fox...all family friends in the Salcha area.

I had my first beer at the Boondox. My dad used to spend the evenings there or at the Snowshoe Inn when I was a kid, and he usually took me along. He would give me a roll of quarters for the pool table or video games and as much soda and home fries as I could stand. Sorry to hear about that fire a while back at the Dox. Did they ever get it back up to snuff? And what about the river washing away the bank by the road - they ever fix that?

I spent my childhood running all over that river delta around the Dox, the Salcha Store, and ranging all over from Harding Lake to Chena Hot Springs. Good times and great memories.

As for the Soldotna / Kenai area, my grandfather was an engineer and reviewed home plans and blueprints for a lot of folks down there from the '50s to the '80s. My dad's family had a number of ranches and farms out on East End Road out in the Homer area. They even used to host rodeos back in the day.

Keep safe, brother.

Edit: for everybody else on the board...to meet somebody like this from Alaska that knows the areas and people we're talking about as well as we do outside of Alaska is very rare...maybe once in a decade kind of rare. Sorry for the sidetrack. Back to the regularly scheduled thread.


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## Wiserforit

Aitrus said:


> I remember that story, Wiser. Good work getting those people out of that place - could'a been bad for them if they were out too much longer.
> 
> Jim Dave, Jerry "Frog" Jones and his airboat, ol' Lynx, Jim Fox...all family friends in the Salcha area.


Yes, the airboat guys are all amazing. They go WAY up Dry Creek and other spots, just incredible machines. I don't have one but I often team up with one for hunting. 



> Sorry to hear about that fire a while back at the Dox. Did they ever get it back up to snuff? And what about the river washing away the bank by the road - they ever fix that?


Well when Ruth was still alive. Don called me when I was in office. I can't say too much more without exactly identifying myself but I got the Corps of Engineers to dump a LOT of rock there. Don moved not too long after that and I didn't follow them much after that. I mis-spoke, Bob stayed there at their house next to the Boondox and is still living there. Don is who called me last week. Bob was burned badly in a fire, maybe you knew about that, but he is doing OK now. They sold the bar. 



> I spent my childhood running all over that river delta around the Dox, the Salcha Store, and ranging all over from Harding Lake to Chena Hot Springs. Good times and great memories.


Sure. Harding and Birch. Landed on both of those on Skiis. 



> As for the Soldotna / Kenai area, my grandfather was an engineer and reviewed home plans and blueprints for a lot of folks down there from the '50s to the '80s. My dad's family had a number of ranches and farms out on East End Road out in the Homer area. They even used to host rodeos back in the day.


Sure. One of my old wrestlers is the coach and athletic director at Soldotna now. Adam Anders. I fish out of Deep Creek. Land at Ninilchik. His father Ed lives across the road from me on Chena Hot Springs. There is a book about their homestead years here. I used to land my plane on their homestead field next to Valley Center. If you were ever out there and saw that blue plane in the field, that was mine. There's too many people in the valley now for me to land there so I'm further out now. The owner of Chena Hot Springs Resort, Bernie Karl, is a friend of mine too. 




> Keep safe, brother.


Well I know you're bona-fide 'cuz anyone from Salcha is way OK in my book. Thank you for the well wishes. Not many people know what it's like, *Aitrus*. To be a hundred miles out there in the Brooks Range or wherever and have something go wrong. To survive on what you know. Been there many times, alone, wondering if I was going to make it out alive. 

Good luck to you too, brother.


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## 01coltcolt

Mom6547 said:


> My husband finds what I consider extreme workouts to be awesome. The goal is actually to meet Mr Pukey. Wind sprints, heavy lifting for time...


Mr. Pukey will get him a t-shirt at Crossfit:smthumbup:


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## 01coltcolt

OP,
Manly things I want to do/learn:
1 Car body work and painting.
2 I would like to run at least a half maraton someday.
3 Mountain climbing looks fun.
4 I want a Street bike.
5 I would like to build a CJ7 to go mudding in.
6 I would like to do some shooting competitions.
7 hunting with a bow
8 hunting with a Crossbow


Manly things I do, that I truly love:
1 Work on Aircraft guns for a living.
2 I build firearms as a side business.
3 I go shooting and hunting often. Love killing Paper, pigs and dove.
4 I have a concealed carry lisence to protect my family.
5 I race ATVs/dirt bikes. (Yamaha YFZ450 480 big bore kit)
6 I have a fire pit out back and I burn wood, and drink beer.
7 Crossfit
8 Weight lifting
9 Cleaning my Truck and wives car.
10 Im always fixing things in the garage. 
11 I love to restore old guns, any thing really.
12 Ive been to combat zones 13 times in 20 year in the service.
13 I train with the county SWAT team as their BG.
14 I collect weapons, guns, knives, tamahawks ect.
15 Working on the cars or lawn tracter.
16 Working on the house
17 Provideing a safe nice home for my family.
18Teaching my son to do manly things.
19 I teach Enlisted Force Structure class to subordantes.(Nothing feels more manly than teaching/mentering a group of folks whom look to you for knowleadge and guidence.) I love it.
20 Grilling for lunch or dinner. Men love burning meat


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