# An Amazing Solution to Your Marital Problems, If All Else Has Failed!



## DeeKay1 (Mar 3, 2010)

Since coming to this website, it is very difficult for me to see the enormous number of you who are suffering very deeply because of marital problems. It breaks my heart to hear the stories that many of you share, and I can sense the discouragement, sadness, anger and despair that many of you are experiencing.

I'm going to make a suggestion that may not appeal to many of you reading this, but for those who have an open mind, or have "hit rock bottom" and see no solution to your problems, let me suggest this:

Very honestly, I am far from the most religious person on this earth. But, based on my past "rock bottom" situations that I have experienced personally, I'd like to suggest that you look toward God to help you through your discouragement, despair and sadness. 

When I was at "rock bottom" someone told me to "bathe my problems in prayer." At that time, I viewed his suggestion as just another way of not facing my problems on my own. Also, I felt as though prayer was nothing more than an earthly means of giving myself a false sense of hope in a hopeless situation. And, I had never prayed before, so wouldn't God think I was a hypocrite to start "talking to Him now simply because I was in a desperate situation?"

But, since I was at "rock bottom," and saw no other solutions in sight, I figure that I would try prayer as a last resort. After praying to God every morning and night for several nights, and saw no results, I decided to give up on praying. Apparently, my problems were even too big for God to solve. Or, maybe He chose to ignore me because throughout my life I had never been "the praying type."

But, after a few days of not praying, my friend's words kept running through my mind: "bathe your problems in prayer."

So, I decided to keep praying, even though my expections of anything positive happening were extremely low. But, I kept praying and praying and praying and praying. Amazingly, with God's help, my desperate situation (one for which I thought there was absolutely no solution to) was totally, I mean COMPLETELY turned around. Quite frankly, I consider it miraculous!

So, if you're at "rock bottom" and have no hope, try bathing your problems in prayer....It just might work!


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

I think this is very risky advise.
People need outlets...They need feedback that they are not alone. Prayer could potentially lead to further deeping into a problem, causing further depression and very dangerous thoughts and thoughts of aloneness. People many times dont have the life experiences to dig out of a problem like you did through prayer.
Things that are more likely to bring out the truth and resolution are, counesling, talking to friends, pastors, reading forums to understand how other people have resolved simular situations...without judging those resolutions of course.


Someone in trouble needs to open up to others and be OPEN to other ideas and ways to resolve things...dont you think?.. not sit in a room and pray.. thats just not good.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

While there is certainly a risk of isolation, prayer--when part of an effort to solve problems, an effort that includes reaching out to other people (who are, after all, also part of God's design, for some of us--might be very helpful. I don't engage in traditional prayer, but I talk to God all the time, in my own way. I'm basically agnostic--uncertain--but I find it comforting in so many ways, which is one of the reasons I'm not an atheist, just agnostic. 

We can find comfort in one another, in this amazing world around us, in ourselves, and in our faith. No reason to disdain any source of comfort that works for you. That's the key, finding out what works for YOU.


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## DeeKay1 (Mar 3, 2010)

63Vino said:


> Things that are more likely to bring out the truth and resolution are, counesling, talking to friends, pastors, reading forums to understand how other people have resolved simular situations...without judging those resolutions of course


63Vino....Friends, pastors, counselors, etc. should all be used in conjunction with prayer. I have a friend who was recently in a car accident, and is currently in a coma with severe brain injuries. The doctors have done all that they can do, so now it's a "wait and see" situation. Once the work of the doctors was done, his family and friends have now "bathed their problems in prayer," asking God to heal this young man and to give the family the strength to deal with what they are currently going through.

Sometimes, especially in very hopeless situations that seem like it will take a miracle to solve the problem, it helps to look beyond earthly solutions. After all, a miracle just might occur if you put your faith in God.

But, yes, friends, pastors and counselors are certainly valuable resources that can be used in conjuntion with prayer. Agreed.


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

I believe it matters what you pray for. All too often, people pray for a change in their circumstances, when they should be praying for a change in themselves.

If you want your marriage to be better, don't pray for your spouse to change so you'll be happy. Pray specifically for each problem which troubles your spouse, and for guidance in how you can help solve it.


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Very well said artieb. I was having a discussion today with a friend of mine who is a bishop. I was absently checking my e-mail on my phone as we were walking to our car, when in an exasperated tone I began to read a letter from my inbox.

The e-mail was from an elder at my church who was writing to tell me that his upcoming surgery had been postponed because of an unrelated medical situation. 

Mark is not in the best of health, but I can honestly say he is facing adversity far better than I have. Even in the midst of his life altering physical dilema, he diverted the course of his letter to try to give me some reassurance regarding God's authority to change my life. He quoted Jeremiah 32:17 and Psalms 27: 13-14. 

I must admit that I sort of derisively snorted when read Marks letter outloud. Upon completion of my tirade, my friend looked at me and asked why I felt God couldn't rescue me from my marital situation. 

I said it was abvious that this man while meaning well, obviously had know knowledge of what had transpired legally this week in my life. To this my friend said, "How do you feel now that she has done these wrong things to you?." "How do you feel, now that you found out that you weren't able to work through her alleged affair?"
"Do you still feel angry?" "Do you still feel like you need to spend every waking minute you're not working training to fight?"

"Honestly", I said...."I feel quite relieved". "See" he intoned, "God has already delivered you." "What she meant for evil, God has used for good".

In a way I do believe Marks prayer for me was answered. I finally for the first time in 5 years feel free. I feel no shame about my upcoming divorce. I did not dishonor my vows.

LIL


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

while the idea of god and praying never really worked for me, i did find comfort in something very similar- a spirit guide. I found this website: Meditation Room
and loved the guided meditations, especially 'Discover your Inner Guide.' 

I love meditation and am currently working on opening up my root chakra, which apparently is the most important chakra as it is the foundation for all others.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

DeeKay1 said:


> Sometimes, especially in very hopeless situations that seem like it will take a miracle to solve the problem, it helps to look beyond earthly solutions. After all, a miracle just might occur if you put your faith in God.


 And if you don't put your Faith in God, you will *never* be on the recieving end of a miracle ?? 

I am not at all against praying. I see it as Reflection, a humbling of ourselves, an honoring that we oftentimes are powerless in this life - dependent even, time alone to contemplate, look at ourselves, seek wisdom for what WE can do/give in these hopeless situations, Seek what we have to offer in resources, time, intelligence - to alleviate the suffering of another, to help society, ourselves. 

But ultimately we need other people (with skin on) to do the work down here to accomplish these miracles. 

I really like this comment "All too often, people pray for a change in their circumstances, when they should be praying for a change in themselves".

Unfortunetly, I have seen prayer so OVER ABUSED in some zealous churches, people believing they can raise someone from the dead (Missionarys have claimed this in our pulpit - I do not believe this), or getting the hopes up of a Type 1 Diabetic friend of mine to be healed, that he went into a coma when he (in faith) stopped his insulin, having people using "positive confession/repeating quoting healing scriptures" to bring about medical miracles. Benny Hinn type followers can fall into this mindset. Maybe 20% of the time , Amazing things seem to come from totally hopeless situations, but this happens in the world too. 

I guess that is my only point really. 

Look at the fool who went over Niagra Falls and lived, noone was praying for him. Then look at the millions praying for Teri Shivo to come out of her vegatative state - and nothing. 

Prayer is Wonderful if we can use it in this humble seeking manner - which I believe most christians do, but to keep our feet on the ground & use some Reason in the midst of Faith, for me, that works much better in my life.


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## DeeKay1 (Mar 3, 2010)

Agreed, prayer should be used in conjuntion with other means such as physicians, counselors, pastors, etc. In my opening post, I never meant to use prayer exclusively; that would be foolish.


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## troubledwife (Mar 16, 2010)

Prayer actually helped me last night. If you read one of my other responses, you will see that my husband is struggling with employment, and I with other issues of our marriage. I was "stewing in my juices" for hours last night after our fight. Then, eventually, I got up went to the library (really, not rich, but always wanted one so that's what we did with our extra bedroom), took out the Bible, and prayed for wisdom to come to me. None came to me while reading the Bible, unfortunately. However, when I fell asleep, I dreamt of the solution to my problems. God so loved the world, that he gave His only Son. Love is the answer. All I can do is love my spouse. Love does not mean telling him what he wants to hear or letting him just flounder around and do whatever he wants. Love means telling people what they need to hear, giving them room to make mistakes, and helping them along the way. Now, if I can only make my husband see that when I tell him some things, that I am not being mean, just trying to love him and help him and make him a better person!


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## DeeKay1 (Mar 3, 2010)

troubledwife said:


> Prayer actually helped me last night. If you read one of my other responses, you will see that my husband is struggling with employment, and I with other issues of our marriage. I was "stewing in my juices" for hours last night after our fight. Then, eventually, I got up went to the library (really, not rich, but always wanted one so that's what we did with our extra bedroom), took out the Bible, and prayed for wisdom to come to me. None came to me while reading the Bible, unfortunately. However, when I fell asleep, I dreamt of the solution to my problems. God so loved the world, that he gave His only Son. Love is the answer. All I can do is love my spouse. Love does not mean telling him what he wants to hear or letting him just flounder around and do whatever he wants. Love means telling people what they need to hear, giving them room to make mistakes, and helping them along the way. Now, if I can only make my husband see that when I tell him some things, that I am not being mean, just trying to love him and help him and make him a better person!


TW,

Prayer is an amazingly powerful thing. I was not the most religious person in the world, and was never the "praying type."
However, when I hit "rock bottom," I turned to prayer (communication with God) as a last resort. Surprisingly, God's words, "ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find," have come true in my life, even after expecting that prayer was a pretty worthless thing.

"Bathe your problems in prayer" is the best advice I ever received. It has changed my life and, if you give it a chance, it may benefit you, too.

I wish you all the best!


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