# I am a man keep disappointing my girl



## sulo1981 (Oct 13, 2012)

My girlfriend and i are dating for almost a year. I am financially not in a good shape, and we are expecting a baby in 4 months. My girlfriend`s birthday was yesterday and i disappointed her by not getting a gift. I also did same thing in Valentines days. I had something, but it was small. 

Long story shot, before the birthday, she gave me talk that she is cool with it that she doesnt want me to spend money on flowers or anything. She suggested me to get her a cheap perfume that she likes. But she said she actually doesnt want anything. So i looked for her perfume on 5 different sephora, but all were sold out on that. Anyways, she is not talking to me, and i started to hate myself. She is the best thing ever happened to me.

We had a talk today and she said she doesnt feel like talking to me. She also said, her anger will go away just need time. I was gonna get her something tomorrow but she keep saying "moment is gone". She is so emotianal person, and deserves the best, but what i can offer her is limited. 

My question is it is our 1st anniversary october 16th. I was planning to take her out to a nice dinner, and get her a ruby necklace(she likes ruby). It is something not that expensive and i can afford($200 range). 

Do you guys think, moment is actually gone, or this will somewhat make up for it(or at least no more disappointment)? 

I love her so much, and when she is sad, i am even more sad than her. Besides she is carrying my baby which makes her to me precious. I actually wanted to get her a ruby wedding ring for $1000, but we are broke and baby on the way, so i dont know what to do.


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

You guys are involved 1 year and 7 months in she gets pregnant. That's difficult. You have to think about the baby. Does your girl get you gifts? Seems like so many people get wrapped up in presents. You need to talk to her and find out if that's really important to her. I would get her a card, make her a nice dinner, a bubble bath with candles and soft music. Let her know she is important to you by doing things and saying things. Good luck.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Yes, the moment is gone, so stop trying to get it back. Chock it up to lessons learned and stop whining about it.

Also, you have a baby coming so forget about the $200 ruby jewelry!

It seems you and your GF need to grow up and get real 

Your poor baby :-(


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## sulo1981 (Oct 13, 2012)

uhaul4mybaggage said:


> You guys are involved 1 year and 7 months in she gets pregnant. That's difficult. You have to think about the baby. Does your girl get you gifts? Seems like so many people get wrapped up in presents. You need to talk to her and find out if that's really important to her. I would get her a card, make her a nice dinner, a bubble bath with candles and soft music. Let her know she is important to you by doing things and saying things. Good luck.


Well, she made me cake. I dont mind not getting a gift. I told her it is cool. I dont care gifts. Since i had sucky friends and family and may be i got 1 or 2 gifts in 30 years(i am 30), gifts lost its value to me. 


Also i am going thru a rough patch, i had 2 car accident in past 6 months, paid $8000 out of my pocket and i got rubbed at the valentine`s day about $1000(the money was on me to fix the car), and 3 months ago i lost my job, couldnt find a job about a month and a half. i am just having thru a rough patch and i am sorry that she is tagging along with me thru all these. 

All i want is to make her happy, but i also wanna think about our baby`s future.


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## sulo1981 (Oct 13, 2012)

WalterWhite said:


> Yes, the moment is gone, so stop trying to get it back. Chock it up to lessons learned and stop whining about it.
> 
> Also, you have a baby coming so forget about the $200 ruby jewelry!
> 
> ...


Yes, i know moment is gone for her birthday, but i dont want her to be disappointed her once again. She is really cool, she doesnt ask much, she doesnt care i am broke, all she wants to be pampered once a while in important days.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Here's some thoughts... Take a look at "The 5 Love Languages". Get her to take the questionnaire, or try to figure out her love language by really thinking of what she would want/need. And then go from there. It might be that what would blow her socks off would be a home-made dinner with candlelight and a sensual massage. It might be a day spent doing something she likes to do. Or it might be jewelry. We can't tell you that. But if you pick the wrong type of gift, the effect will be greatly diminished.

But what's your reason for missing the key dates in the first year? I can tell you that blowing things like that can be taken as a lack of consideration, respect, love... Take your pick.

C


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## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

which is why I said to just do nice things. I agree you need to save the money for food, diapers, etc. But you both can do nice things for each other that don't cost anything, just to let each other know that you love each other. It doesn't have to be about gifts. But you have to use your imagination. Gifts are EASY. Showing love in real ways is harder. But you can do it. Not everyone in the world lives like we stupid Americans do. Do it your way.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

sulo1981 said:


> Well, she made me cake. I dont mind not getting a gift. I told her it is cool. I dont care gifts. Since i had sucky friends and family and may be i got 1 or 2 gifts in 30 years(i am 30), gifts lost its value to me.
> 
> 
> Also i am going thru a rough patch, i had 2 car accident in past 6 months, paid $8000 out of my pocket and i got rubbed at the valentine`s day about $1000(the money was on me to fix the car), and 3 months ago i lost my job, couldnt find a job about a month and a half. i am just having thru a rough patch and i am sorry that she is tagging along with me thru all these.
> ...


Gifts don't have to cost money. Some of my favourite presents from my GF have been very inexpensive or free. The fact tat she spent time thinking of something I needed, or something she could do for me meant much more to me than something expensive.

C


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## sulo1981 (Oct 13, 2012)

PBear said:


> Here's some thoughts... Take a look at "The 5 Love Languages". Get her to take the questionnaire, or try to figure out her love language by really thinking of what she would want/need. And then go from there. It might be that what would blow her socks off would be a home-made dinner with candlelight and a sensual massage. It might be a day spent doing something she likes to do. Or it might be jewelry. We can't tell you that. But if you pick the wrong type of gift, the effect will be greatly diminished.
> 
> But what's your reason for missing the key dates in the first year? I can tell you that blowing things like that can be taken as a lack of consideration, respect, love... Take your pick.
> 
> C


 I did not miss the dates, i was talking about the all week long. I was just gonna get her, her favorite perfume, but the day before she told me not to do. And the valentine`s day, i screwed up cusi had an accident febuary 1st, which cost me 1/3 of my savings to fix it. and The day before the valentine`s day, i got robbed. Just bad timing.


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