# Need help paying bills.



## idl4587 (Feb 16, 2011)

Hi, im 25 yrs old and have been married for 2 years and have no kids.

Im currently working as a customer services rep and dont make a whole lot of money, about $9.50/hour full time. Im constantly broke, my wife doesnt seem to care, could barely pay bills(only have to pay apt rent, light bill, food, money to wash clothing- just basic stuff) and stressed like f/uck. 

I've asked her to work, but hasnt worked for about 3 yrs and looks for a job about once a month. When i ask her to work she gives me the "youre the man of the house, why should i work, thats your duty. I Stay home and you work." story. Then shes like "ok, baby, ill go look for a job...blah blah blah".

Ive asked her to get any job, but she seems picky as fu/ck. Im quite surprised at that fact since shes worked as a waitress and fast food restaurants.

then she so immature and says **** like "Oh, well my dad used to give me everything - food. clothing, extra cash to spend". when she was 19.... i ask her to grow up. I think her dad just spoiled her.

Im seriously just tired!!!!! I need help!!!!!

It seems that the wifes taking my efforts for granted and doesnt want to help pay the bills.

Any advised would be appreciated.


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

idl4587 said:


> Hi, im 25 yrs old and have been married for 2 years and have no kids.
> 
> Im currently working as a customer services rep and dont make a whole lot of money, about $9.50/hour full time. Im constantly broke, my wife doesnt seem to care, could barely pay bills(only have to pay apt rent, light bill, food, money to wash clothing- just basic stuff) and stressed like f/uck.
> 
> ...


She shouldn't compare you with her dad. You just started, her dad has been working for many years. 

It is frustrating that a young woman wants her husband to give her the kind of life style her father provided. 

Yes, it is a man's responsibility to provide, but it is also a wife's responsibility to help out! 

And if she wants a better life style, she should help out! 

Being lazy doesn't help anybody!


----------



## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

Leave, get a a second job or go to school
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I think the days of marrying to aquire a male workhorse are gone. Social norms the economy etc.
Did you discuss this before you married? Had you any idea that she expected to be supported by you? Sounds like that is not what you expected. There are no consequences to her to ignore your struggles so she is unlikely to change. 

Sit with her and let her know that you need to go on an austerity budget under the curent circumstances. You should take control of the finances and control the spending since your bear the burden for paying everything. You should have the carge cards in your possession. Decide with her on a weekly budget for groceries etc. Decide together if you can afford items that are not needed like purse and if you have to work extra or you have to charge it, she will have to wear what she has already. 

If and when she does begin to work, she can then contribute to the house hold finances and continue to budget. Don't hesitate to be resolute with this. She seems to be taking advantage of you and being selfish and lazy. If the financial incompatibility is not solved, you may have to consider separation and divorce. What ever you do don't get pregnant. You take the responsibility for birth control even if she is on pill. If you have to divorce, as a last resort when you have exhusted all options. No spousal support because she can work. Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

In my opinion, you should

- divorce this loser asap.
- get in school to improve your long term prospects.


----------



## AbsolutelyFree (Jan 28, 2011)

I would say her attitude is pretty uncooperative considering your situation, especially since you don't have any children. I'm curious...what does she do all day? I guess she does all the cooking and chores? Does she stay in good shape and try to keep you happy by making an effort to look really pretty and give you tons of physical affection? Otherwise, she just seems like a freeloader.


----------



## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I will never understand stay at home wives. I mean sure I'm all for staying home if you have kids but why if there's none. What does she do all day? Anything worthwhile to you? She does sound like a freeloader.


----------



## sammy6150 (Jul 7, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> she shouldn't compare you with her dad. You just started, her dad has been working for many years.
> 
> It is frustrating that a young woman wants her husband to give her the kind of life style her father provided.
> 
> ...



take my advise now. Run away from this women now you will nevr have anything, you will always be broke..

Dont wait i extra day run now an dont look back...


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

My advice.
Use birth control.
If she wants babies there needs to be a savings account to pay for expenses for an entire year first. All of them!
Start putting away 10% of your income into an account in your name only. Or set up a joint account with someone you absolutely trust, like a parent or close sibling (one that you can trust is key).
If ends don't meet, then ends don't meet. She will have to eat more pasta and PBJ sandwiches and no TV or internet and oatmeal for breakfast every day. 
If this is not the kind of lifestyle she wants then you can use that 10% savings to pay the divorce fee. 
I'd send her back to daddy if he's so generous.
What kind of father raises his daughter to be a moocher?
I have never had any problem working to hold up my side of a marriage. The only time I have quit jobs was to have a second child with my partner (and this was agreed upon) and I did have income through child support and maintenance from an older child not with this partner, and my own real estate that was rented out, my car was paid for, etc. And the other time, found out my husband was a lying cheat and needed to focus on therapy and restructuring my life since it came on top of a major health crisis that impacted my ability to do my work (I have one of my jobs back to start in the fall.) And he could well afford it since he's deployed. 

I will have no problem working to support myself and my children on my own and no intention of ever stopping work in a relationship. 

This kind of woman who is your wife, probably if you get a second job she will use the money on stuff that benefits her not for savings to improve the outlook for both of you.


----------



## PealedBannana (Jun 9, 2011)

If she actually cared about you she would step up and contribute.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lala (Jun 4, 2011)

Yea, well me and my husband both work and we still have problems paying the bills! And he has 2 jobs! He works 7 days a week and I work 5 days a week..it sucks being broke all the time  Our account just went into the negative today!  and we've only spent our money on bills/grocries.


----------



## sammy6150 (Jul 7, 2011)

lala said:


> Yea, well me and my husband both work and we still have problems paying the bills! And he has 2 jobs! He works 7 days a week and I work 5 days a week..it sucks being broke all the time  Our account just went into the negative today!  and we've only spent our money on bills/grocries.


you know @ least you are both trying, i would nt mine being broke as long as she was helping me go broke, an it wasnt just me that is feeeling the pain of having no money after getting paid.


----------



## Doni (Feb 12, 2011)

Unless your wife changes drastically, I think you will have a very sad resentful marriage. 
Yes, I think your wife was spoiled. If her daddy was such a good provider for her, maybe you should let her go back home to him.

Of course dad could give her things, he was older, established for years. You two are just starting out, to BUILD a life TOGETHER. But she isn't seeing it that way. She wants you giving it all to her, without her expending effort.

Do you want to live that way the rest of your life? The things she is saying to you that cut you down as a man are only going to get worse! Her lack of ability to be a team player, instead of everything about her is only going to get worse.

I agree with using birth control!!! Not only can you not afford a pregnancy now, you don't want to bring a child into a marriage that isn't solid, and yours isn't.

I would suggest you set her down and explain if you are doing all the work in this relationship, it would be easier for you to just support yourself, than to support you both. If she cannot help with emotional support, and maybe with financial support, you are better off without her. Leave the ball in her court. If she doesn't realize the error of her ways with that, you need to get out of this marriage, and go build a happy life.


----------

