# Betrayed Spouse



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

Hi,

This is my very first post and was hoping to get some general advice. I'm a 31 year old man with a 29 year old wife. I admittedly have not been a good husband. Not bad, but not good. My wife's biggest complaints were that I was not affectionate, did not show her attention, poor communication etc. We have been together for seven years, married year and a half. Several years ago, I fell into somewhat of a depression, just not very happy with myself and the world, I just lost interest in everything including my wife. I've now grown out of it. In October 2016, I came home and my wife was gone. All her belongings, gone. I was crushed. Later that night, I received an email that she really loves me and wanted to give me a wake up call and that we need to date again. I tried my hardest to fix her concerns in the mean time. She began acting very weird and distant. We seen each other maybe once a week at that time. I stumbled across a facebook which had another man and her as his profile pic. Later discovered she moved out with him and she has been in a relationship with him, possible even before she moved out. My world seemed to end on that day. She blames me for her affair now and says that its my fault. She does not know if she loves him but does not know if she wants to be with me. We still talk everyday and she says her boyfriend is now getting angry with her. She lies to him when she comes to see me which starts fights between them but she says he treats her 100 times better than I ever had. She then tells me she cant be seen in public with me because the boyfriend may see her with me. Unfortunately, I still love her to death. She has so many qualities that are hard to duplicate. I feel like this is all my fault sometimes.

Any objective advice on how to go about this that's non divorce related? I do believe in exhausting my options to reconcile but I also lost my dignity in the process and don't want to lose myself along with the marriage. 

She left October 2016, I discovered affair March 2017

Thank you


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

dale1657 said:


> Hi,
> 
> This is my very first post and was hoping to get some general advice. I'm a 31 year old man with a 29 year old wife. I admittedly have not been a good husband. Not bad, but not good. My wife's biggest complaints were that I was not affectionate, did not show her attention, poor communication etc. We have been together for seven years, married year and a half. Several years ago, I fell into somewhat of a depression, just not very happy with myself and the world, I just lost interest in everything including my wife. I've now grown out of it. In October 2016, I came home and my wife was gone. All her belongings, gone. I was crushed. Later that night, I received an email that she really loves me and wanted to give me a wake up call and that we need to date again. I tried my hardest to fix her concerns in the mean time. She began acting very weird and distant. We seen each other maybe once a week at that time. I stumbled across a facebook which had another man and her as his profile pic. Later discovered she moved out with him and she has been in a relationship with him, possible even before she moved out. My world seemed to end on that day. She blames me for her affair now and says that its my fault. She does not know if she loves him but does not know if she wants to be with me. We still talk everyday and she says her boyfriend is now getting angry with her. She lies to him when she comes to see me which starts fights between them but she says he treats her 100 times better than I ever had. She then tells me she cant be seen in public with me because the boyfriend may see her with me. Unfortunately, I still love her to death. She has so many qualities that are hard to duplicate. I feel like this is all my fault sometimes.
> 
> ...


I would tell her she needs to come clean to him and everyone else in her life about this. Tell her you will no longer hide this and that you will be telling him (and everyone else) that you are seeing her.

Transparency, OP.


----------



## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

dale1657 said:


> Hi,
> 
> This is my very first post and was hoping to get some general advice. I'm a 31 year old man with a 29 year old wife. I admittedly have not been a good husband. Not bad, but not good. My wife's biggest complaints were that I was not affectionate, did not show her attention, poor communication etc. We have been together for seven years, married year and a half. Several years ago, I fell into somewhat of a depression, just not very happy with myself and the world, I just lost interest in everything including my wife. I've now grown out of it. In October 2016, I came home and my wife was gone. All her belongings, gone. I was crushed. Later that night, I received an email that she really loves me and wanted to give me a wake up call and that we need to date again. I tried my hardest to fix her concerns in the mean time. She began acting very weird and distant. We seen each other maybe once a week at that time. I stumbled across a facebook which had another man and her as his profile pic. Later discovered she moved out with him and she has been in a relationship with him, possible even before she moved out. My world seemed to end on that day. She blames me for her affair now and says that its my fault. She does not know if she loves him but does not know if she wants to be with me. We still talk everyday and she says her boyfriend is now getting angry with her. She lies to him when she comes to see me which starts fights between them but she says he treats her 100 times better than I ever had. She then tells me she cant be seen in public with me because the boyfriend may see her with me. Unfortunately, I still love her to death. She has so many qualities that are hard to duplicate. I feel like this is all my fault sometimes.
> 
> ...


1. Stop talking to her.
2. Make sure everyone who you mutually know is aware that she's sleeping with some other guy, and wants to date you on the DL.
3. File for Divorce.
4. Go live a life without the stress of a cheating ***** who wants to see her husband on the side while living with some other guy.

She says he treats her 100 times better than you ever did? That's great. Call the guy, and tell him you're divorcing your wife, and that he can keep her.


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Kivlor said:


> 1. Stop talking to her.
> 2. Make sure everyone who you mutually know is aware that she's sleeping with some other guy, and wants to date you on the DL.
> 3. File for Divorce.
> 4. Go live a life without the stress of a cheating ***** who wants to see her husband on the side while living with some other guy.
> ...


He asked for non-divorce advice.


----------



## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

jld said:


> He asked for non-divorce advice.


Okay. Get a therapist, and learn to be okay with being a cuckold.

He can try to tell her to stop, but really, why "date" your wife while she's living with and ****ing some other guy, and has been for at least the last 6-7 months.


----------



## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

To add to my first post, if she decides to do a 180, drop the other guy, move home, and try to work with you to repair the marriage, then you could try to reconcile if that's what you want.

There's no relationship in existence at this moment to save.


----------



## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Sure, you can be those religious nuts that separate for life, go bang others and never remarry so they can go to heaven. 

But if you were a real man, you'd expose her, divorce her, and go bang many other women and live up the single life. But first, see a therapist and figure out your co-dependence issues. Yes, you have big issues and I don't blame her for leaving you. You sound like a mess and a beta male. Sorry to be blunt.


----------



## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

If you really want to you can always go with her to see a marriage counselor and each of you should also start individual counseling. You can also work on improving yourself. Read Married Man's Sex Life Primer, No More Mister Nice Guy, etc. and see if you can make yourself an attractive person again. But let me warn you that if you become more attractive and confident you aren't going to want her back. Good luck.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

Thanks for some of the replys, but I do get it the divorce option, no disagreement. I make probably 3-5 times more than the other guy and look 100 times better, she admits this both. Guess when I just lost my self several years ago I turned her off completely. Just hoping someone here had a similar experience.


----------



## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

This is a lot to take in!!!!!! 
1. If you are still married she is going to hell!! Period....
2. If you have any plans on working things out she needs to move out & back in with you.
3. If he treats her so good why is she cheating on him with you for? 
4.she is a liar & a cheater & she has good qualities she is munpulator & she's weak..let that hoe GO

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

dale1657 said:


> Thanks for some of the replys, but I do get it the divorce option, no disagreement. I make probably 3-5 times more than the other guy and look 100 times better, she admits this both. Guess when I just lost my self several years ago I turned her off completely. Just hoping someone here had a similar experience.


Well Dale, my man, this is great news. You have again found yourself. Found yourself alone, no wife, no sex, no nothing but phone calls and messages on the sly.

You cannot fake being physically attractive. You are attractive.
You cannot fake being financially set in life.....not for long! You make good money.

You have overcome your depression. You see where you went wrong. You have become a better man.

You have regained your affection...for her. You are again capable of giving another women the attention that they deserve.

That they deserve...
She deserved the improvements you have made... before. Before she cheated. Hell, she is cheating on her cheating boyfriend.

She is no catch. 

Divorce her. When the divorce is complete and the dust settles, date her again...you love her right?

Date her, but never, ever marry her again. I would date other women once the divorce is final.

You will soon find that other women will have the same good qualities that SHE HAD. But they do not have a Cheat Sheet stuffed in their silk sleeve.


----------



## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

dale1657 said:


> Thanks for some of the replys, but I do get it the divorce option, no disagreement. I make probably 3-5 times more than the other guy and look 100 times better, she admits this both. Guess when I just lost my self several years ago I turned her off completely. Just hoping someone here had a similar experience.


I empathize with your situation. Men in general are pretty aware that if you appear weak in a woman's eyes (like suffering from depression) they're liable to turn on you. It's just how things are. 

It sucks you've been in that place, I have been. It drives women away. It is what it is. I hope you're doing whatever is necessary to try to avoid ending up there again. 

That said, you're going to have to decide: do you want to try to reconcile, knowing that when you were suffering, you're wife's response was to run to some other guy, or do you want to scrap this, and try to find a woman who can exert some self-control and has some integrity?

I know I was harsh. But letting this stand is cuckoldry. You're going to have mind-movies and all sorts of emotional issues unless you A) Bring this to an end or B) can learn to like watching some other guy screw your wife. 

I'm firmly in the anti-cuckold camp.


----------



## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

dale1657 said:


> Thanks for some of the replys, but I do get it the divorce option, no disagreement. I make probably 3-5 times more than the other guy and look 100 times better, she admits this both. Guess when I just lost my self several years ago I turned her off completely. Just hoping someone here had a similar experience.


So ditch her. Do you really want to date your wife while she sleeps with another man? Just divorce her. At this point it is the only action she will respect you for. Divorce her and don't look back.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

dale1657 said:


> Hi,
> 
> This is my very first post and was hoping to get some general advice. I'm a 31 year old man with a 29 year old wife. I admittedly have not been a good husband. Not bad, but not good. My wife's biggest complaints were that I was not affectionate, did not show her attention, poor communication etc. We have been together for seven years, married year and a half. Several years ago, I fell into somewhat of a depression, just not very happy with myself and the world, I just lost interest in everything including my wife. I've now grown out of it. In October 2016, I came home and my wife was gone. All her belongings, gone. I was crushed. Later that night, I received an email that she really loves me and wanted to give me a wake up call and that we need to date again. I tried my hardest to fix her concerns in the mean time. She began acting very weird and distant. We seen each other maybe once a week at that time. I stumbled across a facebook which had another man and her as his profile pic. Later discovered she moved out with him and she has been in a relationship with him, possible even before she moved out. My world seemed to end on that day. She blames me for her affair now and says that its my fault. She does not know if she loves him but does not know if she wants to be with me. We still talk everyday and she says her boyfriend is now getting angry with her. She lies to him when she comes to see me which starts fights between them but she says he treats her 100 times better than I ever had. She then tells me she cant be seen in public with me because the boyfriend may see her with me. Unfortunately, I still love her to death. She has so many qualities that are hard to duplicate. I feel like this is all my fault sometimes.
> 
> ...


Move on she did and is stringing you along. Pro tip, anytime the words, my wife, and the words her boyfriend are in the same paragraph it's time to move on.

Or you can keep trying to get her back and watching her date another man and end up more depressed then before.

You say you love her to death, but do you literally want to love her to death? Why exactly? She isn't treating you very nice.


----------



## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I have not read the 180. I hope it includes protecting all your assets. So perform the 180, and protect all your assets.

Announce the affair to everyone you know, and everyone she knows.

Stop seeing her. Don't talk to her. Just don't do the file thing.

There, no mention of doing that issue. 

But I sure can't see any reason you should consider Reconciliation. Why would you want to bother attempting to reconcile with her? It's not like she seems to think it was a mistake she made in the heat of the moment, or while she was drunk, and is begging your forgiveness. Yeah, my wife screwed up once, but she came clean immediately, so she said, and begged me endlessly to forgive her, and has been wildly attentive to my every need ever since.


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Nothing will ever move forward in your relationship unless she owns her part of this,,,yeah you sucked as a husband got it, so why another man why not divorce first...no offense but her blaming for screwing another is bs and if your buying that then you will never heal and she will make you a cuckold husband....


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

GuyInColorado said:


> Sure, you can be those religious nuts that separate for life, go bang others and never remarry so they can go to heaven.
> 
> But if you were a real man, you'd expose her, divorce her, and go bang many other women and live up the single life. But first, see a therapist and figure out your co-dependence issues. Yes, you have big issues and I don't blame her for leaving you. You sound like a mess and a beta male. Sorry to be blunt.


Real men don't 'bang' many other women.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

She is treating you both very badly. Cheats on you and leaves you for him. While she is with him, she lies to him and cheats on him with you. BTW her blaming you for the affair is wrong. She chose to cheat. 
The only way it will work is if she she leaves him, comes back to you, takes full responsibility for the affair, and makes every effort to work on the issues that you have. If she refuses, then say that as long as she is with him, you want nothing to do with her. You seeing her while she is cheating on you and living with him it a big mistake. You are enabling her bad behaviour.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

I've had sex with too many to count before her but once I found her realized all that didn't do a thing for me. Thanks I appreciate the advice, the consensus is let it go. Hate to admit it but it's totally right barring some sort of miracle.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

dale1657 said:


> Thanks for some of the replys, but I do get it the divorce option, no disagreement. I make probably 3-5 times more than the other guy and look 100 times better, she admits this both. Guess when I just lost my self several years ago I turned her off completely. Just hoping someone here had a similar experience.


Not all women are attracted just by looks or being rich, but the money thing may be why she is keeping you on a string so that you don't meet anyone else.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

I understand that Diana, really do. Not even sure why I wrote that except to say that that's the only thing she says it better about me than him.


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

dale1657 said:


> I understand that Diana, really do. Not even sure why I wrote that except to say that that's the only thing she says it better about me than him.


Oh, dear. I am surprised you did not laugh out loud at hearing that, and then file.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

dale1657 said:


> I understand that Diana, really do. Not even sure why I wrote that except to say that that's the only thing she says it better about me than him.


WHy do you put up with it? She is clearly reluctant to let you go because of the money.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

It's not about the money because she makes roughly the same as me. Shes a PA so she makes enough to support herself. I paid all our bills this whole time and supported her goals. And she's not a gold digger because her BF is a bartender. No offense to bartenders, just trying to prove a point.


----------



## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

She's a gold digger because she is keeping you on the hook.

Physician Assistant is a good solid job, at least, and reasonable money. But it's not proving anything.

You keep making excuses for her.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

OP I want to take yourself out of the equation and just let me put these these two sentences down, you read them. 

A man's WIFE told her HUSBAND she can't be seen with him in public because it would anger her BOYFRIEND. The HUSBAND is willing to put up with that because he wants her back because he really loves her. 

Do you think it is healthy for the husband to love his wife so much that he is cool with hiding from her boyfriend? Does that husband sound like he is thinking correctly on this? Also what kind of women says something like that? Does that sound like a healthy person for the husband or the boyfriend to have a relationship with? 

Let me ask you another thing. Do you think people can love others too much? For example, do you see the parallel that you have right now with the women who returns to her abusive boyfriend? The one who gives her a black eye the night before? She would also say, "Unfortunately, I still love _him_ to death" like you did. Do you think that is a good thing or a bad thing? Do you think that love is healthy? What will be the end result for that women? Even if she is not killed what does subjugating herself to such a person like that do to her soul? 

Never love someone enough that you allow them to abuse you. 

To have a healthy relationship love is not enough. There is no possibility of a healthy relationship with someone when you have to subjugate yourself that much. It is already inherently unbalanced and abusive. 

Finally is your wife an honest to God Unicorn? Does she **** gold? Because if not why are you treating her like that. I promise you, you will get over her. It will be painful for a little while but you WILL get over her. You will have just as much joy as you once did with someone else. There are plenty of wonderful women out there, many who would not have boyfriends while they are married. Who would have enough character to tell you it's over. Like that is the very least you should expect. 

The truth is yes you were depressed and you didn't treat her well but what she is doing now, stringing you along, is just as wrong if not worse. If she was done with you like she said she should have truly ended it with you. The truth is she probably has been with this guy even before she left you. Even so, it's over. You are not getting back what you had 5 years ago. You have to move forward to something else. It's broken man, sometimes the vase is just in too many pieces to glue together. Besides that why would you want a women who cheats on her boyfriend with her husband or cheats on her husband with her boyfriend. She is not a great catch. You were depressed but you never treated her like that. 

That is one of the biggest problems I see with people who hold onto these broken relationships. Everything in life ends. Everything! That is the way of life. You have to be mature and accept it. The relationship you once had that was healthy and good for you is gone. That doesn't mean your life is over though. Learn from it and do better next time. Maybe next time the right women will rally around you when you are depressed not run away. 

It's over man, if you need to go get some grief counseling, cry your eyes out, but you are going to be just fine. I promise you that.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

Thanks guys! Looking for something that isn't there at the moment is what I was trying to do. Agree with you all, just separate myself from the situation and wish them well and off to my next chapter.


----------



## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

dale1657 said:


> Thanks guys! Looking for something that isn't there at the moment is what I was trying to do. Agree with you all, just separate myself from the situation and wish them well and off to my next chapter.


Why wish them well? Just give them the finger and walk away and fast.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

Wish them well was definitely sarcastic!


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

OP you say you weren't a good husband, maybe she just didn't bring the best out of you. If she can so easily screw another guy and have the audacity to rub your face in it I have to think she didn't/doesn't have much moral character. If I was hooked up with a woman of such low standards I wouldn't try very hard either. What's the loss? 

I say cut her lose and find a woman who makes you always want to be the best man possible!


----------



## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

I am going to disagree with someone not bring out the best in you. Be the best you no matter what the circumstances. Set a level of integrity and never deviate. Focus on your self man. Make yourself a better person. You now know what it takes to be a good partner and spouse. Let her go and start new.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

She can blame whoever she wants to. Her actions are her actions. I would make sure everyone knows what's going on from the OM to her Mom and Dad and family and then I would dump her. How can you love someone like this. If she had issues with your behavior then she should have told you and helped you through it. Marriage isn't a guessing game. Respect, honesty, integrity, love and compassion are necessary. Your wife has none of those.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

Thank y'all. Since March I have been 100% focused on the marriage and have not got a lick of progress. Just scraps. Went to MC 3 times and that made it worse. MC tells wife that if you want your marriage, you need to drop 3rd party, she gets mad every time. I admit Im codependent because that was the only person I have ever loved. Just a bunch of casual sex with women before that. She has only been in long term relationships before me. Thats going to be my hardest part.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

And she did try to help me at first, but it was more in a nit-picking way. My BP goes every time I hear a complainer, so that went no where.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

dale1657 said:


> Thank y'all. Since March I have been 100% focused on the marriage and have not got a lick of progress. Just scraps. Went to MC 3 times and that made it worse. MC tells wife that if you want your marriage, you need to drop 3rd party, she gets mad every time. I admit Im codependent because that was the only person I have ever loved. Just a bunch of casual sex with women before that. She has only been in long term relationships before me. Thats going to be my hardest part.


Well, she is now the last long term relationship because there will be another down the road. Got out from under this nonsense.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

WilliamM said:


> I have not read the 180. I hope it includes protecting all your assets. So perform the 180, and protect all your assets.
> 
> Announce the affair to everyone you know, and everyone she knows.
> 
> ...


 @WilliamM

See the link to the 180 in my signature block below.


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

jld said:


> He asked for non-divorce advice.


Are you the self appointed police?


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Real men don't 'bang' many other women.


Says who? 

Lol 

So a single man playing the field ani't a REAl man. 

As long as he respectfull then what the big deal?


----------



## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

You're choosing to remain in limbo and play the "pick me!" dance. Not a good place to be when you know you're prone to depression.


----------



## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

Herschel said:


> I am going to disagree with someone not bring out the best in you. Be the best you no matter what the circumstances. Set a level of integrity and never deviate. Focus on your self man. Make yourself a better person. You now know what it takes to be a good partner and spouse. Let her go and start new.


You ever the saying if someone bring out the worse in you! It can happen

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

Did yu talk with the other guy & where are the childern?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

DEMI6 said:


> You ever the saying if someone bring out the worse in you! It can happen
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk




Yes. And someone can bring the better out in you too 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

Thanks guys, no children. I tried going over there several times and beating the hell out of him but they never came to door. That was in March. I would physically fight at the drop of a dime but boy this kind of stuff shows you where your truly weak.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

And thank yall all for the replies, she is coming get the only stuff at the house Sunday and its over. Only stuff she has left is wedding stuff, go figure.


----------



## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

After she leaves, toss out everything that was her's and reminds you of her. Purge yourself, your surroundings and start anew. Paint the house, get new furnishings... relocate if allows you to move on. Do this for Dale...


----------



## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

dale1657 said:


> Thanks guys, no children. I tried going over there several times and beating the hell out of him but they never came to door. That was in March. I would physically fight at the drop of a dime but boy this kind of stuff shows you where your truly weak.


Let me tell you a story..😆
I was with my first LOVE for 10 yrs 4 children & I put up with alot..just like you did 
I even had 3somes with hundreds of women..ANYTHING that I thought would make him happy & for awhile I was okay with it..really I was

& then I found out that some of the women we were hooking up with were women that he was ALREADY SLEEPING WITH.. SOME HIS GIRLFRIEND'S EVEN HAD YRS IN😲😲😲😲

HE ONCE TOLD me I wasn't treating him right I nagged to much, So I stopped all TOGETHER! 
At the time I was in welfare. Kids were back to back.. said I needed a job.

So I got one & he left me for another women 

I was fffffffffed up!!!!
You hear me! 
I once lied said one of the kids broke there arm just to see him..i was sick doing things I never thought I would.

I loved him.
I did
So I accepted it for what it was 
Him living with another women & spending weekends with ME & THE KIDS! OF COURSE HAVING SEX... 
WE NEVER ARGUED..
THINGS WERE GOOD.. At least I thought 
untill he came back & moved in & keep her on the side.. & then it became a back & forth thing for 6 yrs...

The ONLY thing I regret is not leaving SOONER..

Btw he was abusive to both of us

I've learned the more you LET them get away with 

The more a person like them..
Would keep pushing & pushing 

It wasn't easy I haven't seen him in yrs & he hasn't seen the children.

He calls me everyday, makes up lies saying he been shot 10 times & he needs me to come to the hospital...


**** himmm

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

Nobodys perfect but I'm not fffffffd up!! I would never do something like that..

Having flaws & being messed up are 2 different things

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Yes. And someone can bring the better out in you too
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Thank you I was saying that, as a reply to the comment that nobody can bring the best outta you but you

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

DEMI6 said:


> Thank you I was saying that, as a reply to the comment that nobody can bring the best outta you but you
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk




I think my point was that certain folks bring out different qualities when you're hanging out with them. I think it's better to surround yourself with good people that bring the good part out of you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## DEMI6 (Apr 12, 2017)

Elizabeth001 said:


> I think my point was that certain folks bring out different qualities when you're hanging out with them. I think it's better to surround yourself with good people that bring the good part out of you.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Absolutely I total agree & have witnessed it in my own life & in others

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

[quotew=dale1657;17882578]And thank yall all for the replies, she is coming get the only stuff at the house Sunday and its over. Only stuff she has left is wedding stuff, go figure.[/quote]

Shred the wedding pics. Use it for packing material


----------



## crocus (Apr 8, 2016)

One thing that jumps out at me..,
She left in October, and you've "grown out" of years of depression in the 6 months since she left.
Have you been getting treatment, of any kind? How are you overall?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

Yes when she left is when I started to fix myself in hope of recon. Lost 15 lbs, got my muscles back, back doing kickboxing, got a dr checkup testing everything including testorone. I've always been a little more smart than the average bear so I never tried much. Most of my life's problems have been self inflicted. I know no one here has skin in my game and value your opionions. It was my fault I guess more than I led on as well. But never deserved this, esp this cold when she new I was trying my ass off.


----------



## dale1657 (May 10, 2017)

And what's really crazy is it putting a strain on my relationship with dad. My mom did this, I mean almost identical thing to him when I was two but he asked to recon once, mom said no and he never looked back.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

dale1657 said:


> Thanks guys, no children. I* tried going over there several times and beating the hell out of him but they never came to door. * That was in March. I would physically fight at the drop of a dime but boy this kind of stuff shows you where your truly weak.


Good man.

They never came to the door. They came in their pants when they saw you through the glass.

I sent you some Bitcoins to your virtual mailbox. 

Is two million pounds enough?


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

dale1657 said:


> And what's really crazy is it putting a strain on my relationship with dad. My mom did this, I mean almost identical thing to him when I was two but he asked to recon once, mom said no and he never looked back.


Yep, not only do we inherit our parents genes and health tendencies/outcomes, we often inherit a similar fate. And all in a hundred or ~two hundred+ pound package.

What you cannot see, can hurt you....

Just sayin'


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Satya said:


> You're choosing to remain in limbo and play the "pick me!" dance. Not a good place to be when you know you're prone to depression.


An Irish funeral jig done on the head of a pin.


----------



## crocus (Apr 8, 2016)

dale1657 said:


> Yes when she left is when I started to fix myself in hope of recon. Lost 15 lbs, got my muscles back, back doing kickboxing, got a dr checkup testing everything including testorone. I've always been a little more smart than the average bear so I never tried much. Most of my life's problems have been self inflicted. I know no one here has skin in my game and value your opionions. It was my fault I guess more than I led on as well. But never deserved this, esp this cold when she new I was trying my ass off.




So your depression is being treated, resolved, or ?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

dale1657 said:


> And what's really crazy is it putting a strain on my relationship with dad. My mom did this, I mean almost identical thing to him when I was two but he asked to recon once, mom said no and he never looked back.


Smart man.


----------

