# Again? I don't know.



## Abstract Annie (Sep 13, 2012)

Ok, I think I'm officially going crazy. Or possibly just turning into one of those stalker wives that I've always dreaded.

I've mentioned in a previous post my husbands EA which was quite "physical" online with plans to meet offline before I caught him. I've naturally become a more suspicious person since this event. Only thing is, I think time is making me morse rather than better. I can't seem to let it go. How do I save the marriage if I can't let it go?

Things he's doing that are making me suspicious:
-calling me to tell me he has to work 30 minutes overtime, only to have him call after 20 minutes and tell me he's coming home now (he calls me before he starts to come home every day, its a 40 minutes drive and gives me time to get dinner organised).
-occasionally leaving 30 minutes early, but doesn't say why. Just says goodbye and leaves.
-we had a discussion about flirting in the workplace, and he away talking about how his workmate and another (married) woman have a lot of sexual banter, when I told him I though that'd be inappropriate, he kind of looked down and changed the subject.
-sex is different, but as I explained in a previous post, he recently had a vasectomy.
-he's been staying up late at night again.
-communication between us is waning.

Looks bad, huh...or maybe I'm super paranoid. Do I say something and risk him getting ticked off because nothing is going on, or do I continue quietly observing?

I have a feeling its someone at work...

What do I do? He'll just deny it like he did the other one, but only couldn't deny it when I had proof.

I hate this.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

How about you just discuss how uncomfortable you are feeling. The whole point of reconciliation is being open and honest. That goes for both parties.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Have you guys read this book?

Dr. Shirley Glass - NOT "Just Friends"

It's awesome and relevant to your situation.

Some of that stuff is stuff my hubby did when he was acting out, but it's not all typical red flag stuff.

Do you know what he does when he stays up late? Can you do the keylogger/VAR/phone spy stuff?


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## Abstract Annie (Sep 13, 2012)

I think he feels 6 months down the road I should be over asking him questions concerning his whereabouts. It'll just make him frustrated.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Abstract Annie said:


> I think he feels 6 months down the road I should be over asking him questions concerning his whereabouts. It'll just make him frustrated.


Well then he isn't remorseful. I am over 2 years out and if my hubby had that attitude his ass would be grass.


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## Abstract Annie (Sep 13, 2012)

Thank you for the book recommendation. 

Miso tired of all this suspicion. I'm wearing myself out. I'm already tired from looking after 3 active kids, I don't need this. There is part of me that feels I only staying here for the kids. They adore their father, practically worship the ground he walks on.


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## Abstract Annie (Sep 13, 2012)

I sent him a text mentioning him leaving early, and he read it straight away (the phone tells me when it's been seen), he's not replying.

Someone tell me if I'm paranoid or have legit reasons for being concerned.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

abstract annie said:


> i sent him a text mentioning him leaving early, and he read it straight away (the phone tells me when it's been seen), he's not replying.
> 
> Someone tell me if i'm paranoid or have legit reasons for being concerned.











Of course your husband could just be a bit dense. (It does happen to us chaps, from time-to-time!


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

If he already had an EA, and is starting to exhibit some of the same behavior he did when he had his EA, then I don't think you are being paranoid.


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