# Today marks the Second Month!



## Ana_Nurse (Oct 24, 2009)

Well its been two months since my H left. I have not posted in a while, but I do come and read posts everyday. I find comfort in knowing I am not the only one going through this, as sad as that sounds! My H and I do not really have any contact anymore. We had seen each other on Thanksgiving, went to his parents house so they could see our daughter. I knew I should have stayed away! By the time the night was over he was yelling at me and telling me that he would never get back with me and the longer he is away from me the more he hates me! Before that night I was the one chasing him, I kept calling him or texting him everyday. After that night I completely stopped. He has made no effort to contact me at all. I am at a point where I don't know what to do. I don't want a divorce and his mom told me that he does not either.... but how long am I supposed to wait? I don't want to bother him at this point because I know all of this is "fresh"... What do I do?


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

Anger means he is emotionally attached. This is good the space. It will give him time to cool off. Just focus on yourself. If there isn't any legal actions going on thats a good sign he isn't ready to push it further. Either way your doing great now...


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## Ana_Nurse (Oct 24, 2009)

Yeah, there is no legal action at this point... 
It was ironic, as I was typing up my post he called. He wanted to check on the baby and tell me that he was starting a new job on Monday. It was the first civil conversation we have had in a long time. I so badly wanted to tell him I loved him and missed him and we could work this out, but I left it alone.... It was hard, but I did. I was proud of myself. I think that is a big reason he is afraid to call, when he would I would beg. He told me I love you before he hung up. I felt bad for not saying it back should I have told him?

What a mess huh!?


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

NO!! let him think and sit more.. He has a lot to work through..


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I would seriously do the no contact thing. Only contact him in regards to your daughter and mutual business. It will take time and is more difficult to do then divorce or chasing. It's tests your skills of patience.

Do activites that make you seem attractive in the meantime. Work on yourself... exercise, self help books, counseling, support groups, etc. Don't let him know what you are doing. You are too busy having a good life! I know you may be going through the motions. Fake it!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Be proud of yourself. I'm trying real hard to get where you are in terms of strength and patience. Hope it pays off!!!


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## Ash22 (Oct 21, 2009)

Good for you!! That was hard huh? But it is a start and the starting part is often the hardest so give yourself a pat on the back and keep yourself occupied. You doing great.


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## Ana_Nurse (Oct 24, 2009)

uugghhhh so all night I was up thinking about him. I even woke up about three in the morning and thought some more about the whole situation. It seems easier to not have any contact at all! I have to deal though, we are going to be in each others lives for ever if we want that or not. I know these are still the early days, but it being the Holidays makes it that much harder. My daughter and I put up our tree the other day and I felt very sentimental thinking of him. I still don't understand how he could just walk away from us like that. More so our daughter... she misses him so much. I often sit and wonder if he misses us or thinks of us OR is just out having fun not missing a beat. Lord have mercy!!!! Anyone else ever flip flop with their emotions, some days are great and others are just crappy.

BTW thanks for all the support and kind words everyone.


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## lost1234 (Aug 24, 2009)

an,
yesterday marked 4 months since h left...we have 2 daughters that miss him tremendously! it is so very hard! i am sorry you find yourself here, but, this is a great place with so many wonderful people who are willing to help and give support!

the no contact is the BEST thing right now even though it is so hard sometimes! believe me...i didnt do this in the beginning! it helps in so many ways...only have contact about your d and something that is ABSOLUTELY necessary!


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## Ana_Nurse (Oct 24, 2009)

Has anyone heard that Alicia Keys song "Try sleeping with a broken heart"? I love that song and it hit's so close to home right now....

Lost, I am sorry that you are going through this too! I am sorry to everyone going through this. You never think it will happen to you and when it does you are just beside yourself. I know I am anyway. 
I try not to contact him at all. I even had the locks on the shed cut to avoid calling him for the keys. That is how hard I am trying to give this man his space... I think everytime I want to call him I should post on here or get on my elliptical (that would really keep me from calling!)


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

We all have songs that hit close to home.. For me this time it was Lifehouse "Broken".. 


What I found out that helpped me when trying not to talk to my wife I would write a letter or in my case type one out in word. It would get me through the tough times.


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## Ana_Nurse (Oct 24, 2009)

ohhh Broken was my song of choice when I lost what would have been my second baby... I love that song. 

You know the letter writing thing has been suggested to me several times, I am going to do that this time. I am sure it will help me. I used to love to write when things were bothering me, I need to get back to that. 

Thanks


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