# well i guess this is it for us....



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

Just spoke to him...i'm shaking...he is not going to do it...he said he knows in his heart that he is done and not going to be happy with me...
He is destroying his kids life just because he wants to live by himself....are you serious...
From that point i'm doing to 180 and moving on...I'm DONE...what an a..hole ...


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

i don't cry,i feel numb....why do i feel like that...
i also know in my heart this is it for us

He told me he wants to stay friends,i asked than if you want to stay friends why were you so nasty...why didn't you look me in the eyes and tell me that this is how you feel,say i'm sorry etc.... he couldn't answer...just said" i know"
i told him he is destroying his family out of selfishness and he will regret it but one day I will look into our kids eyes and be able to tell them that i tried hard but what he is going to tell them....
i told him I've tried everything and i'm done also...told him goodbye and hanged up...

WOW....


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

just deleted my facebook acct....not that i was very active there but no more pics for him to see...


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Darling  *hugs tightly* I think we should all just get a big house and live in it together!

I don't have any words to help, you and me are now in the same boat xx I can't make you feel any better and I hate that.. Lots of love to you Babe xxxx


----------



## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

vivea,
I am so sorry to hear this, he has been 'yes,no,yes, no' yo-yo for a while. hugs hugs to you .


----------



## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

Vivea,
I send super hugs your way. I sympathize with you greatly. You are numb honey, because you've been going through this for a while and eventually you get this **** or get off the pot attitude. I am in almost the same situation, but my husbands a little more bi-polar. One day he loves me and wants to work it out, the next he wants to move on and be friends, then another day he says he wants to have more kids together, crazy. I am numb too. Maybe one day he will realize what he is giving up - maybe it'll be a very long time from now, and one of your kids may call him on it when they're way older. But maybe he'll never realize it. We'll never know.
Just try and stay positive, try not to lash out, as I know its so easy to. You have been through so much already, its time to worry about yourself and your children. 
Im so sorry Vivea, we're all here for you if you need us. Msg me if you like, Im a good listener (reader, since we're online lol).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

now i'm sitting and thinking about the kids...nothing else matters at that moment...
he told me he still wants us to go and live there...that he will be able to see the kids every day or when they want to...
I don't know what to do...should i move there ...i mean i can still have a life like that,he'll take them let's say 3 days every week or every other week,he'll be able to be there for games ...school activities...etc...
as a mother i think that it's probably best if i move

on the other hand ...how am I going to cope to see him every day ...i mean probably all the time....
should i stay here until it's time for daughter to start school and than move....
what would you do....
i will be completely alone there...no family at all....
him on the other hand ...has everything...friends...his parents...us....


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

thanks guys for the hugs...it means a lot...
i'm still numb and in disbelief i guess...i shed some tears when i just removed my ring ...my daughter asked 2 questions about daddy...like she knows...it breaks my heart...she is making presents for him...drawing pictures for him...
i love my kids more than anything in this world....i want them to be happy and if being happy means i have to be friend with their dad i have to do it...God help me ...how am I going to do that....


----------



## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

Believe me Vivea, it will take time for the friendship. My older daughters have a different father and when we split up, he never spent time with them. They were practically babies when we split. We live in a very small community and even lived in the same apt complex. He'd have to pass our apt to get out of the complex. He never stopped to see them. For a very long time they would cry for him, and he always wanted me to lie to them. Tell them Im working, is what he would say. I watched my kids grow up without their father for a long time and it was a painful process. I couldn't tell them their daddy didn't want to be with them. And so I became the bad person because as they got older they felt I wouldn't let them go be with their daddy. They are now 10 & 11 yrs old. They understand things better now because they call him themselves, and he makes excuses, but we see him out with his on and off girfriend and kids. Now that they see that with their own eyes, the realization kicks in. But for all those years in between, I was a bad person to them.
I told you that story because kids won't understand, and a lot of times daddies like to play innocent to their kids, making us mommies who bust our ass with them look like a**holes.
You gotta do what you can for you. If right now you can't stand to be near him, maybe you should move. It would be healthier for you to start moving on with your own life. I'd move too, but living in HI is so damn pricey already.
Of course you'll ALWAYS keep your kids best interest in mind, but don't forget, as mommies often do, that you also have to do what is best for you. You'll be around your children more often than your hubby, so, you need to be happy too. If being too close to your hubs is going to be a distraction for you, Id say don't do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I'm a little confused here..:scratchhead:

Weren't you two going to move in again and work it out? I know he sent you an email recently asking you the three things you love about him..How did that go over? 

Did he recently call you say "Let's just be friends but live together?". I'm gathering that is what happened. I'm really sorry that it didn't work out as you'd hope. I've been following your situation here and had my doubts..but I was really hoping it would come together for you. 

Now for the nuts and bolts as I understand this...

Is that what you want? That you live as friends under the same roof for the sake of the kids? Can you do that without fighting and stress? How will you deal with that if you want more from the relationship?

As I read your posts I tend to think that it will tear you apart because you will always be wanting more and you will be putting pressure on him to be something he's not, do give something he can't give. I can relate there because I've been going through the same thing with my husband. But what we have going is that we are separated and can retreat to our neutral corners when things get too heated up. You won't have that option if you live together. 

If you are both not committed to working on and improving your marriage then I'd think that it's best for you, him AND the kids for you to continue to live separately. Perhaps with time he'll come around, especially if you do the 180. It might yield results. He seems torn himself because he DOES say he wants to live together and says good things about you but he seems to want to experience life on his own. I think you need to give him his space to work things out in his head and heart. 

You keep calling him, texting, emailing, imposing deadlines. You really need to stop that if you want to get any results. The 180 could be the ticket to assert some control over YOUR life and emotions and give him the time and space to WANT you..not feel pressured by you. 

As for your kids, having parents who are emotionally healthy living together is what is best. That's not going to happen if you live together now so the next best thing is for you to work on yourself and come to terms and focus on THEM. You are focusing so much on your husband. It's time now to turn your attentions else where and build yourself up, spend time with your kids doing fun things with them and realize that there is a life to be lived without your husband. It's not all about him. 

It's hard, I know and I wish you the best, but you CAN do it. You need to redirect the passion, determination and love that you have for your husband towards yourself and your kids. So many people manage to have a good, strong family life and NOT stay married, you can be one of them. I know you can! 

Print out the 180 and read it when you feel down, or are tempted to do that email, text or phone call. It helps. I know because I'm going through this myself. 

What's funny is that my daughter read the 180 this morning and she said "Ma, THAT is what I've been telling you all along!" Our kids aren't stupid. They know what's what. Trust me.


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

Thanks Freak...i responded to email...but it'll the last thing i do....i promise.I'm totally ready for 180...i think i'll do better with 180 than hoping and waiting on him.
I'm emotionally spent and can't take anymore...


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

vivea said:


> Thanks Freak...i responded to email...but it'll the last thing i do....i promise.I'm totally ready for 180...i think i'll do better with 180 than hoping and waiting on him.
> I'm emotionally spent and can't take anymore...


Don't think of this as "giving up" You are moving on! The ups and downs are going to kill you. You have to give yourself a break. 

Separation is a lot like dealing with the death of a loved one. There is the shock, then the anger/grief and finally the acceptance and the act of moving on. The problem is, death is easier because the person truly IS gone. With separation, especially with kids in the mix, you still have to deal with your estranged spouse. It's harder in many ways. 

However, you are slowly getting to the acceptance/moving on point and you AND your kids will be better off in the end. 

The 180 isn't "getting back" at your husband. It's allowing you to break away and give yourself and him the freedom to make the right decisions for yourselves and your marriage. You need to make changes to yourself so that you can become whole and happy without him. He needs to figure out that you are independent and strong, as well as realize that there can be and will be serious consequences for his actions and decisions. If you are always available, always there, emailing, texting, talking then he'll never figure this out...He'll always assume that he can have it anyway he wants it. He has to see that he can't have his cake and eat it too. 

Sometimes you have to walk away to get something back. If it doesn't come back, it wasn't meant to be. This is a play on another saying, I know, but it makes sense, trust me. 

I'm not just looking to console you..I'm encouraging you. There's a life out there to be lived, even without your husband. Go live it Girlfriend! :smthumbup:

If you live in NJ, PM me, we'll go out and party together. :toast:


----------



## Babyheart (Feb 9, 2011)

Oh Vivea I am so so sorry to read this, I had my hopes up for you. What a jerk. One day he will regret this. 

You need to take care of you right now. Stay strong, hard as that is. I wish we were all closer so we could help to get each other through this.


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

I'm OK babyheart...for some reason the 3 things that he listed about me are giving me some closure...i'm glad he realizes what a catch i am...
The fact that i have never lied to him and told him every single thing  ,plus that i would never cheat...i could have cheated a million times and he knows that but i never did...i'm a faithful person and it's hard to find people like that now a days...it's his loss.

I really wish we could hang out ...can u imagine how much power we would have...
(((( hugs))))


----------



## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

vivea said:


> I really wish we could hang out ...can u imagine how much power we would have...
> (((( hugs))))


we would rule the world


----------



## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

Vivea...I read this earlier and just had to turn off the computer...walk away because I felt so much pain for you...

then I come back and read how strong you are being and you put me to shame...you are my hero..well Crank too with his pics of his wife, but thats another story...I digress...

you show us all how to be strong and couragiuos...sending hugs and snuggles...!!!


----------



## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

DjF said:


> Vivea...I read this earlier and just had to turn off the computer...walk away because I felt so much pain for you...
> 
> then I come back and read how strong you are being and you put me to shame...you are my hero..well Crank too with his pics of his wife, but thats another story...I digress...
> 
> you show us all how to be strong and couragiuos...sending hugs and snuggles...!!!


Vivea is an amazing person, we pretty much all are in our own ways I guess.

Vivea, stay the course, and be good (or be good at it!)


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

Dan and Crank...thank you for the wonderful compliments...it means a lot to me.(((hugs)))
I'm strong but scared that it's just a phase...like a shock or something...and after the phase goes the grieving will come back...

I went to the movies last night,watched "black swan"...the movie was scary and very powerful...I don't know if you've watched it but it's about this ballet dancer that is trying to find her dark personality so she can perform the dance of the life ...swan lake 

I associated a lot of the movie with myself ...with struggling to find that inner strong ME so that I could be the strong ME in front of my kids....and myself...
I shed a tear or two during the movie...thinking i should've been there with him as a couple like all the couples in the movie theater ...


----------



## Babyheart (Feb 9, 2011)

I went to the movies too and watched Unknown with Liam Neeson. It's strange being there by yourself alright. 

I also came across a book at the library called choosing me before we. All about healing yourself & being happy. Reading it but who knows.

So had a lovely day yesterday as he had the kids, went to the spa & used my gift certificate. Went shopping & got a fabulous dress for my BILS wedding in 2 weeks. Its in Florida & we are driving down together with the kids (24+ hours in a car - we may just kill each other...)
Picked up bottle of wine & a movie, planning on going home & relaxing. Get a call from him - youngest fell off the bed & hurt his arm so he was on his way to the emergency room near us. He actually broke his humerus. So much for relaxing LOL.


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Vivea, I am the same Sweety, I can be so strong and determined one minute and an emotional wreck the next 

He came to pick up the kids late today, and then brought them home early as the weather was really bad. The kids ran indoors to see my parents and we were left outside, it was really weird and awkward, I honestly felt like he wanted to hug me, but didn't know if he was allowed and to be honest I felt the same.. But I didn't I just said bye and walked indoors.

My eldest said he was texting alot, and it made me feel so uncomfortable, infact I got myself into quite a state, but the truth is he could have been texting anyone.. 

It's our youngests 4th bday in 2 weeks, I asked if he was ok to do something with 'all' of us, and he said yes, that would be really nice.. I'm not reading into it, I just think he wants to be there for her bday...

I cry all the time atm, I am pretty low, and the treatment is really draining. I just wanted him to call me back and ask for a hug... he didn't he just watched me walk up the path, I had to turn away before he saw me cry... To him, I am just being strong and cheerful


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

I think they think we are OK even if we cry in front of them AmI.. They do not know that pain that we do...they've never experienced it and have no idea...I mean i had no idea how painful it is...i would watch on TV about divorce and how painful it is but honestly though ...what's the big deal...I just had no idea ,couldn't relate.
So for them (and because it's their choice) they do not get it.I had to drag H. to the scale in the bathroom with me so he can see that i have lost 12 pounds in 10 days...he still couldn't believe and put himself on the scale to make sure it's working properly. 
Just wanted to show him what I've been going through and how i'm taking all this and he makes a comment "you look good like that"...i was floored...
I honestly looked like anorexic...i still kind of do...I'm trying to force myself to eat constantly,i'm not as weak as i was before because i try to eat ...and i will go to the gym today...but the point is he does not understand it...they don't because they feel just fine...

So ...no matter what you do ...happy or sad...i figured it doesn't matter...what matters to them it's their own feelings.
I feel for you girl...you're really my hero ..the treatment + this mess ...i just can't believe how much you have on your plate and you're still standing...strong or not ..you're standing and fighting.
hugs


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

vivea said:


> I think they think we are OK even if we cry in front of them AmI.. They do not know that pain that we do...they've never experienced it and have no idea...I mean i had no idea how painful it is...i would watch on TV about divorce and how painful it is but honestly though ...what's the big deal...I just had no idea ,couldn't relate.
> So for them (and because it's their choice) they do not get it.I had to drag H. to the scale in the bathroom with me so he can see that i have lost 12 pounds in 10 days...he still couldn't believe and put himself on the scale to make sure it's working properly.
> Just wanted to show him what I've been going through and how i'm taking all this and he makes a comment "you look good like that"...i was floored...
> I honestly looked like anorexic...i still kind of do...I'm trying to force myself to eat constantly,i'm not as weak as i was before because i try to eat ...and i will go to the gym today...but the point is he does not understand it...they don't because they feel just fine...
> ...


My H has aspergers syndrome, so he has no sympathy or apathy,empathy nothing... that makes it so much harder.. I can be standing in front of him, breaking my heart and he would just look at me, like I'd sprung a leak or something, rather than realising I'm upset...

He's just sent me a chat msg on facebook asking if the kids like the dvd he bought them, I want to say you should be here watching it with them... I can't... I want to tell him.. Oi, I ****ing love you.. but I can't... I keep thinking seriously what have I got to lose, I just want to say, I know it means nothing to you but I miss you so much, you're my bestfriend, you're meant to be here for me.. I love you.. 

*hugs tightly* I don't feel like I am strong at all, I don't know how I am getting from day to day, I honestly dont... When I go to sleep (the little sleep I do get) I just want to wake up and he'll be laying there next to me, he'll roll over and tell me he loves me, and he'll cuddle me... I know it's not going to happen... it probably never will... and here are the tears...


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

here are my tears too because this is how i feel too....I keep thinking ,he's going to call and demand to my daughter that he wants to speak to me and hear my voice ...or he'll send me an Email tell me that he realized what he is doing and that he will try..that he still has feelings for me....tears streaming down my face,can't even see the keyboard...
My God AMI...how are we going to survive all this...


----------



## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

So you don't have enough on your plate that you have to deal with Aspergers too??? Geesh, AmImad...anymore surprises???

Aspergers is tough, your right on not reading or showing emotions...it will be interesting how he reacts to the no contact...

Lord, I pray for you AnImad everyday...


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

AmImad said:


> My H has aspergers syndrome, so he has no sympathy or apathy,empathy nothing... that makes it so much harder.. I can be standing in front of him, breaking my heart and he would just look at me, like I'd sprung a leak or something, rather than realising I'm upset...


Wow..Now THAT is hard to live with, even in good times. No wonder things are so bad..

I'm amazed he can have a marital/intimate relationship. Well, I guess he can't, given what you're going though.


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

DjF said:


> So you don't have enough on your plate that you have to deal with Aspergers too??? Geesh, AmImad...anymore surprises???
> 
> Aspergers is tough, your right on not reading or showing emotions...it will be interesting how he reacts to the no contact...
> 
> Lord, I pray for you AnImad everyday...


I seriously hope not, my little boy has it too, he's 7 and he's really struggled to cope with the changes, he see's a councillor at school who has really helped.

I am just so tired of it all, when I found out about the cancer, he said he'd be here for me, we'd get through this together, he held me and cried, now, he's not even offering any help nothing.. BUT I am strong in that respect.. I come home after radiotherapy, I sit for a couple of hours (it really zapps me) I pick up my little one from nursery, we decide what we are cooking for dinner, I pick up my other 2, then we may go shopping, we come home and cook, eat, bath, and I tuck them into bed. I then run the hoover round, and try and keep my brain active so I am not sat thinking about him.. I spend time reading on here... a couple of self help books, but I find myself crying over them... I have bought some chick-lit books today just to try and sucked into a different world..

But do you know what ladies and gentlemen. I AM a good person, I AM a good mother, I AM a good daughter, my Dad told me today how proud he is of me, it doesn't matter that I breakdown and cry, I am allowed to, he said I am beautiful (he's my dad of course he'll say that) inside and out, yes he loves my H as a son, but it is his loss, he said he can't see past the end of his nose, but one day he might see, and by that time it maybe too late, I may have found someone who loves my chocolate button eyes and cheesy grin...then again it may not be too late.... but whatever happens, this isn't ALL my fault...

I need to look in the mirror and say "You know what?.. I'm not all that bad"


----------



## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

wish I could give you a real hug, but I am sending hugs at you!!!

there is good in all of us, and going through this makes us focus on the bad so much...but we need to find the good, focus on it...and let it shine...

I think you is shining just great!!!


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Freak On a Leash said:


> Wow..Now THAT is hard to live with, even in good times. No wonder things are so bad..
> 
> I'm amazed he can have a marital/intimate relationship. Well, I guess he can't, given what you're going though.



We managed for 15 years  You know what's the kick in the teeth, I went snooping on the site he met 'her' on, it wasn't a dating site, but just forums kinda like this and I found he had posted this (giving advice to someone):

My wife puts up with my **** and I don't know how she does it. I have aspergers and depression. My son has also been diagnosed with aspergers.

I can go into robot mode. Especially when I'm around new people. If I'm the new person in a new environment it can take me a week or so to come out of my shell. If I'm in a comfortable environment with people I know and someone is introduced I can usually cope. However my learned coping mechanism is that I am, at times, inappropriate in what I say or I push the line a little too far.

This is all superficial though. I very rarely open up to anyone and my wife is one of the few people that I open up to, she understands me inside and out. Don't be afraid to ask why he behaved such a way or said such a thing but try to keep it to questions that can be answered with a definite answer to avoid a "I don't know" clam up response.

I have trouble with last minute plan changes or surprises. Your mileage may vary but try to work with your husband to identify these issues and discuss ways to deal with them. The best one we use is a codeword my wife says when I'm not behaving in front of company and am oblivious to the feelings of others.

IS he really gonna find this with someone else?


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Another post I found, dated 2 weeks before he left me:

When my youngest was born my wife had to have a caesarian due to complications with the caesarian from a previous c-section (the scar had weakened and there was a danger of natural birth tearing the scar). So, she'd had a c-section before, everything was routine and the theatre was nice and relaxed.

I was sitting on a stool next to the anaesthetist near my wife's head. If you've never seen a caesarian the time between the initial cut and the baby coming out is ****ing quick. I'm talking about 2-3 minutes between incision and birth. Out comes my daughter, who has the most amazing blue eyes and cherub lips, I got to give her a squeeze which is an amazing experience every time as not only have you been waiting 9 months to see them but they're warm, like cradling a fresh loaf of bread. The midwife took her to weigh her and do a few tests.

I'm talking to my wife and the anaesthetist about crap, it's a good atmosphere and everyone is laughing and joking. The close up job for a caesarian takes a bit longer than opening. The surgeon needs to sew up several layers and also cuts out the old scar tissue so that a neat scar is left. As we're chatting my wife says "I don't feel well" I look down and she's shivering and white as a sheet. For someone with olive skin I've never seen her so pale. The anaesthetist asks the surgeon what's going on the suddenly the monitoring machine starts going ape ****. The surgeon says "I've caught a vein" and the room goes deadly silent.

The medical staff get down to business. It's a bit of a blur to me now. My wife had passed out, my daughter is on the other side of the room and I'm sitting on a stool out of the way trying to work out what the **** was going on and just how helpless I am at this point. Our consultant, who we'd seen all through the pregnancy stuck his head round the door and said "just off on rounds, thought I'd see how it was going" the surgeon didn't even look up and said "get scrubbed I need you now". When he came in he said there were too many people in the room, the midwife took my daughter to the neo-natal ward and I sat in the corridor and with the lack of anything better to do - cried.

We went down to theatre at 10.00. My wife, thankfully, came out at 14.30. She'd had blood and plasma transfusions and pretty much slept for the next week in hospital and took a few more weeks at home to fully recover. My daughter is now 3 and worth every bit of the heartache she put us through.


I actually balled my eyes out reading this... how can he just forget?


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

DjF said:


> wish I could give you a real hug, but I am sending hugs at you!!!
> 
> there is good in all of us, and going through this makes us focus on the bad so much...but we need to find the good, focus on it...and let it shine...
> 
> I think you is shining just great!!!


Thank you so much, I need all the hugs I can get, I have sat thinking why did I do this, why did I do that, I pushed him, if only I did it this way.. 
HE left, it was HIS choice, I didn't make him go, I didn't force him to leave his family screw someone else, I don't make him stay away..!

Here's to the future!


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

OMG ...this is heartbreaking,so much emotion ...how can he really write this and than leave.... crying again...
i'm not doing well today...at all...


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

vivea said:


> OMG ...this is heartbreaking,so much emotion ...how can he really write this and than leave.... crying again...
> i'm not doing well today...at all...


He never told me he'd written that, I found it whilst trying to work out who she was, and I saved it, I wish I had just grabbed him and hugged him goodbye today.. I mean seriously what have I got to lose now, everything I want is already lost


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

I know but that hug is not going to give you much...only more pain...It'll be like a drug,it'll make you feel good for the moment and may be a little after and than you're back to square 1 wanting more...

Honestly when H. hugged me the last time and held me...it didn't feel good...i mean it felt good that he did it but the hug was empty for me...i knew it doesn't have the same meaning as the hugs we shared before... I kind of hugged him back but distant in a way,i just wrapped my hands around him but didn't squeeze...i just couldn't let him suck me into his "game"...if that was a game...i don't know anymore...

I'm sitting here waiting for his damn Email...and he won't even respond to any of my Emails...i just want him to officially say "it's over"...like yesterday on the phone...


----------



## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

vivea said:


> Honestly when H. hugged me the last time and held me...it didn't feel good...i mean it felt good that he did it but the hug was empty for me...i knew it doesn't have the same meaning as the hugs we shared before... I kind of hugged him back but distant in a way,i just wrapped my hands around him but didn't squeeze...i just couldn't let him suck me into his "game"...if that was a game...i don't know anymore...


The last time my H hugged me was 2 weeks ago, he really squeezed me and said he wasnt ready to let go (hugging me) and he stood back, looked me in the eye and said he loved me... 3 days later.. he's not in love with me, doesnt feel anything for me, it's over...


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

same story...hugged me 3 times said he will fix this and than he went back called to say it's over and he knows in his heart....than 2 hrs later he is back to being confused...
UNBELIEVABLE


----------



## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

AmImad said:


> I actually balled my eyes out reading this... how can he just forget?


He doesn't, he chooses to not think about it. lucky him


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

Viv, I am so sorry, I am in a similar boat as you are, my husband is at home, but is unsure if he wants to work it out. I am going to do my best to put the 180 in place, the thing is, he can't move out. He has a sister close by he could stay at but he doesn't want to wear out his welcome, and cannot afford a place on his own. I will be thinking of you.


----------



## vivea (Jan 22, 2011)

paramore...i wish he was at home so i can be given a chance...i don't see him,he's 5 hrs away...well it was my choice i could have gone and live in the same town but i chose to stay here and now i'm not sure if i should go there with the kids and see if that makes a difference
I have until the End of May to decide if i want to stay here or move to SC ...i have to decide before my Daughter starts school,she starts in august but i have to give 2 months notice to the apartment complex....well at least i have 3 months to decide...

I can't imagine how it is to have him home and to be that cold to me all the time and to keep telling me he doesn't want me...that's brutal too..so sorry...i'm sure it's very hard... hugs to you


----------



## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

I know, it's hard in my situation cuz I have to see him everyday, which is what I want, makes you wanna just smack'em, and say get your head on straight lol.


----------

