# UK - Advice on supporting a family member through separation



## adventurebiker77 (4 mo ago)

A family member has recently separated and is currently living with me and my family (my wife and kids).

There wife asked them to move out, and is has leaving behind his children in their mid teens. They didn't own their home its rented from local authority. He moved in a few months ago, but obviously this is only a short term solution to help him get back on his feet.

I really am looking for a steer on how best to move his situation forward, here are some details.

Has average income around GBP1.7k take home per month
Giving his wife GBP350 per month, which is the figure calculated on government website, is making no other payments except servicing the debt
Has debts of around GBP3k, I believe his wife has around GBP1k when he left the house.
He left all assets in the family home except his personal possessions, ie some tools, camping gear.
His car is only worth few hundred, the family car he left, which is maybe worth a few thousand.
Has a pension around 30k, i think hers is around 10k.
To move forward he needs to save money up for a deposit on somewhere to rent, or perhaps for a park home, there is no possibility he will get a local authority house as a single male in this area.

I don't want to appear unsupportive, but I do feel sometimes like he isn't motivated to save as he thinks it will end up being taken away. I worry a little he will get used to having no real bills and his wage to be disposable. But living with my family isn't a long term solution.

Financially if he started saving money now, would that form part of any settlement agreement, is it done at point he moved out or at date of paperwork submission. If he was to buy say a park home in 6 months would that form part of the arrangement, likewise if he paid off the debts would that be considered?

I cannot get my head quite around divorce and financial settlement process, i think a solicitor would be good. I think his big concern is he will lose half of what is already a small pension, but really there is such little in way of assets, it makes the cost of divorce extremely high when using a solicitor.

Any advice or guidance?


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

adventurebiker77 said:


> Any advice or guidance?


Don't get drawn into trying to solve *his *problems.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Not in the UK, but…it was nice of you to take him in. But you should have set a time limit on how long he could stay. 

Maybe charge him rent with the idea that you will give him the money back towards a deposit on another place. You don’t have to tell him your plans to give the money back.

Lastly, be careful that his presence does not strain your marriage.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

You know _way_ too much about his finances.


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