# Confused and seeking advice



## kdruark (Feb 2, 2011)

Confused and looking for advice. My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years, married for 2 1/2. We recently decided to grow our family, I am 7 months pregnant with our first child. Our relationship has been had its ups and downs like any other. I used to struggle with old feelings for an ex, although I never cheated I hurt my hubby by seeing this ex once or twice for closure (nothing happened). It was bad timing on both occasions and the hubby has never really gotten over how bad it hurt him. The last time I saw the ex, the hubby was at basic training (horrible timing, and hubby and I had been married about 6 months) but we talked and I got over my feelings for this ex. While I got past those feelings and took a step further in loving my husband, he got hurt and took a step back. Since then, he has told me that he has never felt the same about me and now feels like he only loves me as a friend. 

Within the last 2 months, my hubby has tried to talk to me about what he needed more of in our relationship. I listened and tried it for awhile, but honestly I wasnt really trying or listening. I let the pregnancy and school work consume my life that I quit caring about what he wanted and focused only on myself. I realize now that I should have been trying harder. I never thought that he would leave. 

We have been seperated for a little over a week. I have had some realizations and eyeopening feelings towards how much I love him and things I need to work on. He says he wants to work it out, but he fell out of love with me. He says he needs to feel like he can be happy again. I am now doing everything I can think of, everything he has asked me to change. When I show him more affection (which he asked for), he pulls away. 

I am so confused on how to make him happy again. I am trying everything he asked of me and then some. Its so hard to show him I have changed if he is not around. I am trying to give him his space, but Im scared. 

What should I do? Any advice is welcome!!


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## Gilgamesh (Dec 15, 2010)

i have screwed up my split in more ways than one...so i can only tell you my mistakes and what i should have done...hopefully this helps you...
do not chase him, let him chase you...do not remind him of the past, do not keep texting or calling or seeing him...concentrate on yourself and now you have your child to look forward to aswell.
Treat yourself, act as if your moving on with your life and show him your fine without him, if you have changed like you said you have, he will notice, especially when your child is born.


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