# Husband hooked on porn/ obsessed over one of my gf.



## GirlTX2020 (Dec 1, 2020)

To make this long story short, my husband is addicted to porn and hoarder pictures of my gf from FB. We have dealt with this 5years ago and got rid of his old laptop and now all the same pictures plus updated pictures of her in his new computer. I don't understand why would a person do this? Is it a way of fantasizing. He have tried counseling and we have separated for short time. Thought he was fixed after the treatments, but after all these years he have been doing the same thing behind my back. I felt betrayal and deceived. How could a person say they love you when their mind are on other women? We have 3 kids together, at first I thought I could live in the same house and we can both have our separate lives. Thinking my kids will be better off this way. I realized every time I see him, it just make me feel depressed. I don't think we can live in the same house for long. Will my kids be okay? Due to the kids/ our business together it will be complicating to get a divorce. Plus I will never want to be marry again. 
What is your 2 cents?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Why does he say he hoards picture of your friend? Does your friend know?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

GirlTX2020 said:


> To make this long story short, my husband is addicted to porn and hoarder pictures of my gf from FB. We have dealt with this 5years ago and got rid of his old laptop and now all the same pictures plus updated pictures of her in his new computer. I don't understand why would a person do this? Is it a way of fantasizing. He have tried counseling and we have separated for short time. Thought he was fixed after the treatments, but after all these years he have been doing the same thing behind my back. I felt betrayal and deceived. How could a person say they love you when their mind are on other women? We have 3 kids together, at first I thought I could live in the same house and we can both have our separate lives. Thinking my kids will be better off this way. I realized every time I see him, it just make me feel depressed. I don't think we can live in the same house for long. Will my kids be okay? Due to the kids/ our business together it will be complicating to get a divorce. Plus I will never want to be marry again.
> What is your 2 cents?


Personally I couldnt live with a man who was betraying me daily like this, who was also lying and deceiving but you have to decide where your boundaries are. Being obsessed with a friend of yours and haing loads fo photos of her is even worse.
Have you suggested that he gets more treatment? Have you said that you are even thinking of ending the marriage? Some men need an ultimatum before they will stop, you or the porn. You have to mean it though.


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## Nailhead (Sep 21, 2020)

File for D. Your H can then look at all the pictures he likes. Your H will soon learn pictures do not respond back.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Have your friend unfriend him. Then insist he erase the laptop. Tell him that you intend to divorce him if it happens again. Seek an attorney for advise in the mean time. Show him the attorney's card and tell him you aren't playing


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## beautifulauthenticself (Nov 2, 2020)

GirlTX2020 said:


> To make this long story short, my husband is addicted to porn and hoarder pictures of my gf from FB. We have dealt with this 5years ago and got rid of his old laptop and now all the same pictures plus updated pictures of her in his new computer. I don't understand why would a person do this? Is it a way of fantasizing. He have tried counseling and we have separated for short time. Thought he was fixed after the treatments, but after all these years he have been doing the same thing behind my back. I felt betrayal and deceived. How could a person say they love you when their mind are on other women? We have 3 kids together, at first I thought I could live in the same house and we can both have our separate lives. Thinking my kids will be better off this way. I realized every time I see him, it just make me feel depressed. I don't think we can live in the same house for long. Will my kids be okay? Due to the kids/ our business together it will be complicating to get a divorce. Plus I will never want to be marry again.
> What is your 2 cents?


Does your friend know that your husband is obsessed with her? I would find it very creepy for someone else's husband to hoard pictures of me from my FB. If he's been doing the same thing behind your back even after going through counseling and separating for a short time, I would conclude he's no longer interested in you and the best thing to do for your sanity is to leave.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

GirlTX2020 said:


> the same house and we can both have our separate lives. Thinking my kids will be better off this way.


I did this, and got the T-shirt. My lawyer warned me that she would have gotten primary custody of the boys. If I lived somewhere else, they would have watched a continuum of selfish men coming to get what she would dole out. At least, because I continued to live there, she had to ride the **** carousel somewhere else.

It's not easy. You have to anaesthetize yourself against the "trigger" of depression. You have to recognize that he is now a room-mate and a business partner, not a husbahd.

Talk to your lawyer. If you can get awarded custody of your children, with brief visitations, it might be "worth it" to get the divorce. In my case, I had more "power" to control the lives of my boys without a divorce, than I would have had with it.


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## jjandy (Dec 2, 2020)

I am so sorry...this must be so hard. Porn really destroys relationships...and it sounds like it is def an addiction. It really can get hold of you and he needs help. This isn't about you...but you are affected because of the lying, deceit and disrespect. It think some women feel less worthy...that isn't it at all. HE need professional help and will probably need to keep getting that. Is he a good Dad otherwise? Does he provide? You have to decide if it is worth the effort and the work and you need to set up some boundaries with him. You can't allow porn to be in the house. How could you motivate him to want more from life? Most men sit in a bit of shame...and it becomes a bad cycle.What is his character like? Do you think he felt bad before or just went through the motions? I have a ton of resources I'd love to share if you want. I used to have a bit of a problem myself...in my early marriage. I was turning to it instead of my hubby. It just can suck you in for a quick adrenline fix. I now have a passion for educating people on the harm...and on the industry. Those women are being used...and mostly probably abused. The fact that he is looking at your girlfired...so horrible. He needs help. I would tell him you deserve better. He deserves better too. He has kids to think about...and being the best dad and father figure for them is vital. Do you think he would go to counseling again??


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## DanBond (Nov 24, 2020)

Okay that sounds kind of creepy. No offense


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