# Depressed and wondering if Seperation is the answer



## daisykay (Mar 17, 2010)

Hi, I am new here. I have been married for 5 years now, and we have 2 daughters ages 4 and 3. I have been suffering with depression for over 2 years now. I am finally on meds that are starting to work a bit and I am able to start thinking for myself a bit. I have been unhappy with my husband, basically before we even got married. 4 months before the wedding he told me that he had been cheating on my our whole relationship. He swears and promises now that he has never done anything since we were married and never will, but you can imagine how little trust I have in him. I am not sexually attracted to him, and he was a very angry person and I was always affraid of his reaction to certain situations. Lately we have talked about it so much and he knows that I wanted to seperate and that I am not happy. He knows I am going through this depression and he is trying to be supportive, but I always wonder if it is because of him that I am in this, he has even said that before too that he thinks he put me here. Lately he has stopped drinking (which was a major problem) but only for 3 months he says, and he is going to the gym to loose weight and get healthy. He is doing all these things, but I just don't think it is worth it. I feel that it is already over inside of me. But, what if that is just the depression talking and I can be happy with him. I try to figure out how to leave, but I can't. we just bought a house, which I could live in and rent out the rooms, but I have kids, so I don't know about that. I don't know if I would be able to afford day care and a place of my own. He just lost his mother in August and his father has already passed away, so he has no one, I am worried that he wouldn't be able to afford child suuport either, I don't know who he would live with, or how he would survive. I know I can't think of him, but I am just so confused I don't know what to do. I am rambling, sorry! I don't knwo how to go about kicking him out if that is the answer either. I have told him many times, I think we need to seperate and he just says No, we will work it out, and I am sick and we can't seperate now becuaes I am sick.... Okay, that's enough ramblilng, thank you for listening, I would love to hear any advise, opinion or anything. 
Thanks!


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

daisykay said:


> Hi, I am new here. I have been married for 5 years now, and we have 2 daughters ages 4 and 3. I have been suffering with depression for over 2 years now. I am finally on meds that are starting to work a bit and I am able to start thinking for myself a bit. I have been unhappy with my husband, basically before we even got married. 4 months before the wedding he told me that he had been cheating on my our whole relationship. He swears and promises now that he has never done anything since we were married and never will, but you can imagine how little trust I have in him. I am not sexually attracted to him, and he was a very angry person and I was always affraid of his reaction to certain situations. Lately we have talked about it so much and he knows that I wanted to seperate and that I am not happy. He knows I am going through this depression and he is trying to be supportive, but I always wonder if it is because of him that I am in this, he has even said that before too that he thinks he put me here. Lately he has stopped drinking (which was a major problem) but only for 3 months he says, and he is going to the gym to loose weight and get healthy. He is doing all these things, but I just don't think it is worth it. I feel that it is already over inside of me. But, what if that is just the depression talking and I can be happy with him. I try to figure out how to leave, but I can't. we just bought a house, which I could live in and rent out the rooms, but I have kids, so I don't know about that. I don't know if I would be able to afford day care and a place of my own. He just lost his mother in August and his father has already passed away, so he has no one, I am worried that he wouldn't be able to afford child suuport either, I don't know who he would live with, or how he would survive. I know I can't think of him, but I am just so confused I don't know what to do. I am rambling, sorry! I don't knwo how to go about kicking him out if that is the answer either. I have told him many times, I think we need to seperate and he just says No, we will work it out, and I am sick and we can't seperate now becuaes I am sick.... Okay, that's enough ramblilng, thank you for listening, I would love to hear any advise, opinion or anything.
> Thanks!


daisykay in ur post its not clear what exactly made u fall out of love with ur husband ? and why did u marry him when u said , u were not happy with him before marriage ?
If the reasons for ur not being in love with him are something that can be fixed , u should consider counselling .

However if u find no apparent reasons & yet u feel no love for him or feel it is over , then perhaps u have already checked out from ur marriage .
Even if he tries his best to work it out it will fail unless u too want to save the marriage . 
If u have no desire to be with him u should leave him , it doesn't matter if he lost his mother , or how he will survive ,
every one can survive on his own .

best of luck


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