# Separated/Dating



## Ricks (Apr 14, 2021)

When can I date women? I've been separated for almost a year now...


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Whenever you like.


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## Zedd (Jul 27, 2021)

You'll get 2 basic answers. 

1. You're married until you're not.
2. Whenever you've mentally checked out (and presumably your spouse has as well) and you're comfortable. The rest of it is just legal documentation.

Ultimately, it's whenever you're comfortable. None of our opinions matter.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Today seems like as good a day as any.


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## Ricks (Apr 14, 2021)

Then I will start today... My future x said it was ok too. We're still currently living in the same house. I was going to move out to get away from her and have a simple divorce but she got greedy so I contacted about a dozen Lawyers and they all said the same thing. The house, cars and everything purchased with my personal injury suit money is mine. My accident happened before the marriage so everything purchased with that money is not marital property.


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## Mr Jim (10 mo ago)

I just started the divorce process and I'll start dating whenever I want to. I was out last week, met some women and if I had my own place I would have started that night.. I didn't want this but I'm not gonna sit and home and be lonely. 

The money issue is different State by State. I know in my state if you comingled money, it is considered community property. 

I'm glad you kept it separate. Good luck


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Ricks said:


> Then I will start today... My future x said it was ok too. We're still currently living in the same house. I was going to move out to get away from her and have a simple divorce but she got greedy so I contacted about a dozen Lawyers and they all said the same thing. The house, cars and everything purchased with my personal injury suit money is mine. My accident happened before the marriage so everything purchased with that money is not marital property.


Keep in mind when you start dating she might get po'd and start dating too.
Can you handle that?
If not find her a place first.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

I see there's been mostly (only?) men posting so far, so here's one female's perspective...

Are you separated or have you (or her) actually filed for divorce? Some people stay in limbo forever and never actually pull the plug for whatever reason. 

Have you considered that your STXW may very well retaliate and bring in a series of men under your nose and/or be very vocal about it? Would you be ok with that? 

Not to mention, your pool might be very limited until you are divorced, unless you lie about your status, which is a big red flag. 

Disclaimer: I filed for divorce from a cheating spouse and started dating before my final papers were in hand. My dates (and now bf) knew the real deal before we went out, however my exH and I weren't living together and the time, and I was discreet.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Personally I would wait till after the divorce. I definitely wouldnt date while you are living together still.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I think it very much depends on the person and how much healing time they need. If you’re dating for fun, I would think whenever. If you mean being involved with someone it might be better to wait a bit until you’re sure you’re really ready. If you’re still living in the same house, that would be really weird for me but if you’re comfortable, you do you. I think the number one most important thing is to be honest with the new person about your situation so they understand what’s going on. It would be wrong to carelessly hurt someone.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

As long as you're not living in the house with her and not still trying to reconcile and having a bunch of contact with her, because that will mess up any new relationships you try to start. It's usually best to wait until you're not that emotional about the whole thing too. 

But I wasn't sure up there whether you meant you were still living there or whether you finally got out but you definitely shouldn't try to date until you're out. No woman's going to put up with that. 

And if you're still having to go over there regularly to sort through your personal stuff because you haven't divided stuff up yet, you're better off dating after you get that over with as well.


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## Ricks (Apr 14, 2021)

I've been wanting the divorce for over 5 years. I only waited this long because I wanted my kids to get a little older. The papers are signed and I'm not changing my mind. There are NO feelings for her left in me... Just waiting on her Lawyer. She keeps changing them tho. 


BeyondRepair007 said:


> Keep in mind when you start dating she might get po'd and start dating too.
> Can you handle that?
> If not find her a place first.


She can do what she wants... As long as it's not in my house. Only I have the PW to the surveillance system.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

The moment I separated from my ex wife I started dating. Within 24 hrs. I was enjoying nice sex with a sweet young woman. So you do it whenever you feel ready for it. If that's today, then, go ahead, date.

Just remember to be upfront with whomever is that you'll be dating. By now you should know what's your end game is for dating. Act accordingly. 

Good luck.


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## Ricks (Apr 14, 2021)

Before I settled down to marry I dated a lot of Women. I didn't marry until I was 38 because I always thought the younger you marry the more chance of divorce. I'm very angry that this didn't work out. I bought the house I always wanted and had a perfect family and then she changed. I gave her many chances to change but it only got worse. The only things I can see is she either went thru her changes and/or she lost feeling for me.(I was told that by several Lawyers) I was the affectionate one thru out the relationship and never stopped, until she changed.

I got injured before the marriage and she had a great job when she mentioned marrying me. It was her idea. I'm not 100% crippled either. I'm just in a lot of pain, You can look at me and not really see it. I have Arachnoiditis. This came from either the accident or surgeries. No one knows exactly... The week after the honeymoon she got fired. Not sure what happened there??? But she never worked again till my Lawsuit money got low. That was when things started changing. She started working part time 4 years ago. Things only got worse.


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