# Sexting....



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Explain to me why some guys like to get into many details.....I don't get that...I find it more appealing when a guy is more general about what he wants to do....

Just reading another thread reminded me about one time years ago I was sexting with a guy and he went into great detail i.e. "then I will put my hand here" or I am licking your "whatever"...and to me maybe I am rare as a female but that did nothing for me. I don't like it. I think he thought it was turning me on but it was doing the opposite. All I could say was wow you are really detailed...LOL


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

All I will say is that the entire subject is a major trigger for me.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

highwood said:


> Explain to me why some guys like to get into many details.....I don't get that...I find it more appealing when a guy is more general about what he wants to do....
> 
> Just reading another thread reminded me about one time years ago I was sexting with a guy and he went into great detail i.e. "then I will put my hand here" or I am licking your "whatever"...and to me maybe I am rare as a female but that did nothing for me. I don't like it. I think he thought it was turning me on but it was doing the opposite. All I could say was wow you are really detailed...LOL


Men very often confuse their feelings and desires with a woman's.
As if we are the same...
We men think women love the way we do.....nothing could be farther from reality. 
A man will actually get upset that a women does not love him the way he thinks she should, the way he loves her...
Women are not like that at all...
There's a huge difference between idealistic and opportunistic love.
And that contrast works very well in propagating the human race.
So don't get upset with us men....you understand just as much about why we do, what we do too.
And more to that...you are less likely to accept it, even though it's nature.
Life would be well......boring if we were alike.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Some guys lack creativity or imagination. Or just don't want to put the effort into it so they go with the very literal thoughts in their head. 

Personally, I prefer to be suggestive without being explicit.... enticing rather than vulgar. 

Always best to leave something to the imagination and 

If it helps, I can tell you that my wife also would not respond to crude forms of digital seduction.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I know..it almost sounded scripted...like a script for a porn. I really don't want that much detail...I find it weird in a way.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Some guys lack creativity or imagination. Or just don't want to put the effort into it so they go with the very literal thoughts in their head.
> 
> Personally, I prefer to be suggestive without being explicit.... enticing rather than vulgar.
> 
> ...


Yes enticing is better than vulgar...honestly it did nothing for me at all. I didn't even read majority of the stuff because it was like kind of gross.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I only use emojis.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

All guys have their own sex talk. Sometimes it takes me a bit to get used to the words and phrases a guy uses. And some don’t really talk dirty at all, or only say loving things.

I think some women like the explicit talk or texting, especially maybe if it’s totally new to them. I would guess that many don’t like it too explicit.

After I get used to it, I usually get into whatever a guys natural talk is. It depends on the sex. If the sex is great then I appreciate his word and phrases also.

A simple example from various boyfriends.

One guy will say “flash me!”

Another will say “show me your beautiful breasts!”

Another will say “expose them titties for me!”

Another will say “lemme see those boobs!”

And another will never ask to see them at all because “not a boob guy”.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Faithful Wife said:


> All guys have their own sex talk. Sometimes it takes me a bit to get used to the words and phrases a guy uses. And some don’t really talk dirty at all, or only say loving things.
> 
> I think some women like the explicit talk or texting, especially maybe if it’s totally new to them. I would guess that many don’t like it too explicit.
> 
> ...


Something not right about that last guy :grin2:


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Something not right about that last guy :grin2:


Tell me about it. Ugh. :|


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

highwood said:


> Yes enticing is better than vulgar...honestly it did nothing for me at all. I didn't even read majority of the stuff because it was like kind of gross.


Don’t do that. Don’t let them go on and on, just state your preference. “Too explicit, please dial it back” is all you need to say. Otherwise he’s over there thinking he’s so turning you on and you don’t want him to think that if it isn’t true.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> All guys have their own sex talk. Sometimes it takes me a bit to get used to the words and phrases a guy uses. And some don’t really talk dirty at all, or only say loving things.
> 
> I think some women like the explicit talk or texting, especially maybe if it’s totally new to them. I would guess that many don’t like it too explicit.
> 
> ...


Geez. I would find all of those abrasive.

Of course, I've never been in a relationship where bewb pictures were a thing I was requesting. But I don't see myself saying anything like that, even after I'm married.

Is it just me, or are they too... forceful? Direct? Crass? Or do women like a guy just telling them "Show me that ******" ? It just sounds like something a low-class guy on tinder would text out to random girls.

I would likely go the route of merely sharing what I'm thinking. "I want to see your breasts", or something like that. Which gives her the freedom to tease me, or send a pic if she wants to.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Don’t do that. Don’t let them go on and on, just state your preference. “Too explicit, please dial it back” is all you need to say. Otherwise he’s over there thinking he’s so turning you on and you don’t want him to think that if it isn’t true.


yeah that is true...man I tell you that detailed talk just froze me right over. I remember he asked if I was "wet" and I didn't want to say well not at all sorry..instead I tried to deflect and almost joke about it...not the intended effect but what else could I say.

To me I like subtle suggestions about what might or might not happen...even the knowledge that sex will happen later without saying it is exciting because it is something that is building up and you know it will happen.

Well plus I almost found the confidence when he said something like "when you start cumming I will do this"...and it is like boy pretty confident in yourself buddy, in a way that was a turn off to me as well.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

BioFury said:


> Geez. I would find all of those abrasive.
> 
> Of course, I've never been in a relationship where bewb pictures were a thing I was requesting. But I don't see myself saying anything like that, even after I'm married.
> 
> ...


I’m sure when I was still a virgin, all of these would have seemed abrasive to me also. These are things you ease into with a lover. If a guy said this to me in text before we have even met, I’d be like meh. 

But after you are getting into each other sexually, these types of phrases start coming out of each other. Your own style may always be gentle and loving, maybe that won’t ever change, and that’s all good too.

One of my favorite boyfriends never ever said anything crude. He always just talked about how much he liked me, how beautiful and smart I was, etc. And I mean these were things he said when he was feeling sexual. We had a really great connection and great sex, too. His focus was always on the connection. He would tell me he loved this or that part of my body, or just say “you’re so sexy” but that was the extent of any sexual talk for him.

I am a bit naughtier than that in general however, and eventually I would have wanted more dirty talk (or even just sexy talk). But I’m sure he will find a lovely woman who will love his words and not want anything different.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

highwood said:


> yeah that is true...man I tell you that detailed talk just froze me right over. I remember he asked if I was "wet" and I didn't want to say well not at all sorry..instead I tried to deflect and almost joke about it...not the intended effect but what else could I say.
> 
> To me I like subtle suggestions about what might or might not happen...even the knowledge that sex will happen later without saying it is exciting because it is something that is building up and you know it will happen.
> 
> Well plus I almost found the confidence when he said something like "when you start cumming I will do this"...and it is like boy pretty confident in yourself buddy, in a way that was a turn off to me as well.


What else could you say?

You definitely need to get assertive in a situation like this.

“No, I’m not wet. You are actually turning me off a bit”.

They will either learn to dial in to what actually turns you on, or they will just keep turning you off. They need direction from us about this stuff, otherwise they will assume everything in their head is what you want to hear.

If they can’t dial it back, then next!


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Never got into sexting. Seems silly most times. Prefer the real thing


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> I’m sure when I was still a virgin, all of these would have seemed abrasive to me also. These are things you ease into with a lover. If a guy said this to me in text before we have even met, I’d be like meh.
> 
> But after you are getting into each other sexually, these types of phrases start coming out of each other. Your own style may always be gentle and loving, maybe that won’t ever change, and that’s all good too.
> 
> ...


Yeah for sure I would like that as well..you are beautiful or sexy or a great kisser, etc. etc. is way more of a turn on then I will lick your glistening vajayjay ....like seriously!


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I tried to generalize more hoping he would pick up on what I was saying and go with my direction more...but nope always started to go into those details. Honestly typed out in text sounded so scripted (it probably was).


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

highwood said:


> I tried to generalize more hoping he would pick up on what I was saying and go with my direction more...but nope always started to go into those details. Honestly typed out in text sounded so scripted (it probably was).


Hints don’t work. Gotta be direct. Work on being assertive. Men appreciate that.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Hints don’t work. Gotta be direct. Work on being assertive. Men appreciate that.


You have a great point


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I use innuendo. And play on words. Some times it a picture. For instance, my W put a banana and plain yogurt in my lunch. I dipped the tip of the banana into yogurt. Then turned the banana up allow the yogurt drip down the sides a bit. Sent my W a picture of it. You can visualize what it looked like.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> Hints don’t work. Gotta be direct. Work on being assertive. Men appreciate that.


For the win!!!!!!!!!!


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> I’m sure when I was still a virgin, all of these would have seemed abrasive to me also. These are things you ease into with a lover. If a guy said this to me in text before we have even met, I’d be like meh.
> 
> But after you are getting into each other sexually, these types of phrases start coming out of each other. Your own style may always be gentle and loving, maybe that won’t ever change, and that’s all good too.
> 
> ...


Well, doesn't my statement of "I want to see your breasts" communicate the same desire, and level of desire, as the others, just in a classy fashion? Granted, the "flash me!" one wasn't nearly as bad as the others, cause it's kinda playful.

I'm hardly what one would call a "good boy", but if my wife sent me a text that said "Show me that ****", I would be like o.0. It's just so impersonal. Maybe that's a/the contributing factor? That, as well as the ones you mentioned were disembodied, not "your boobs" but "those boobs". Except for the "show me your beautiful breasts", which is just corny lol.

I think an even better way, would be to play into a previous conversation, or previous events. For instance, if her breasts were sore yesterday, you could ask about them. When she says they're feeling better, that's when you say something to the effect of "I have a job to do ma'am, I have to see the patients" >


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

BioFury said:


> Well, doesn't my statement of "I want to see your breasts" communicate the same desire, and level of desire, as the others, just in a classy fashion? Granted, the "flash me!" one wasn't nearly as bad as the others, cause it's kinda playful.
> 
> I'm hardly what one would call a "good boy", but if my wife sent me a text that said "Show me that ****", I would be like o.0. It's just so impersonal. Maybe that's a/the contributing factor? That, as well as the ones you mentioned were disembodied, not "your boobs" but "those boobs". Except for the "show me your beautiful breasts", which is just corny lol.
> 
> I think an even better way, would be to play into a previous conversation, or previous events. For instance, if her breasts were sore yesterday, you could ask about them. When she says they're feeling better, that's when you say something to the effect of "I have a job to do ma'am, I have to see the patients" >


People are different. Your cute “patients” remark would work for me. But so would just grabbing me and removing my shirt while I pretend to struggle against it. :grin2:

I’m sure the woman you end up with will be the type who appreciates your style of this kind of stuff.

It’s not “better” or “worse”, it’s just different and people are *vastly* different from one another.

I’m pretty easy going, but also naughty, so I like a bit of variety and definitely have fun with it all. You should just be yourself and the right woman will love it all.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

When you first start having a sexual relationship with someone you are still feeling them out so it can be awkward. But don’t fake what you like and be honest because that’s how you get into trouble down the road.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Faithful Wife said:


> People are different. Your cute “patients” remark would work for me. But so would just grabbing me and removing my shirt while I pretend to struggle against it. :grin2:
> 
> I’m sure the woman you end up with will be the type who appreciates your style of this kind of stuff.
> 
> ...


Haha, well I thought the context was texting :grin2: If she was right there in front of me, then yeah I may or may not say something flirty. It all depends on my mood. I'm worked up, then she might have to replace some articles of clothing >


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

"I'm reaching down into my pants and pull it out. I grip it with my fingers facing down and my thumbs up. I start working my thumbs back and forth." 

Are you turned on yet? 

"Working my thumbs, my fingers still in the same position and it's really getting hot now. My vision is tunneled into the sight of what I'm doing. Continuing to work the thumbs, back and forth back and forth. Up and down, side to side. Stroking this medium sized (yet perfectly shaped for us) tool."

Oh this is hot!

"Finally, I reach climax. Then I hit it. Oh, I hit it hard and fast. I'm inside of you. Inside your very mind. I hit it. I hit send on this post. Letting you know I don't really do dirty talk."

Oh lord I need a cigarette now.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> "I'm reaching down into my pants and pull it out. I grip it with my fingers facing down and my thumbs up. I start working my thumbs back and forth."
> 
> 
> 
> ...




That’s a lot of thumb action!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

BioFury said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > People are different. Your cute “patients” remark would work for me. But so would just grabbing me and removing my shirt while I pretend to struggle against it.
> ...


You are right, I kind of made my response about men’s different languages and word usage. Not just in texting.

In texting, I prefer far less explicit language, but plenty of good juicy sext talk. 

It’s different in a relationship or when dating and getting to know each other, of course.

In a relationship anything goes, for me. Though like I said, slightly less explicit. Too many F and C and P words can make me less vibrant. More pictures though, hee! 

Before meeting, I like to have some easy light conversations about what they are looking for, what they are expecting. Anything that goes way too far down a sext road gets shut down. If they are just fun and flirty and pursuing hard, they will probably keep me interested. 

Highwood, was this guy texting like that before you met, or after? Or did you ever meet him?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

OP, have you had sex with him yet?

I like sexting...shocking, I know. >


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Hey...whatever works! I like it all!



TheDudeLebowski said:


> "I'm reaching down into my pants and pull it out. I grip it with my fingers facing down and my thumbs up. I start working my thumbs back and forth."
> 
> Are you turned on yet?
> 
> ...


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*The subtler the better! Avoid specifics!

Leave something to their imagination and they'll literally be screaming for more!*


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *The subtler the better! Avoid specifics!
> 
> Leave something to their imagination and they'll literally be screaming for more!*


Reminds me of the movies from the past that leave viewer imagining where as movies of today leave nothing to the imagination.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *The subtler the better! Avoid specifics!
> 
> Leave something to their imagination and they'll literally be screaming for more!*


Absolutely!


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> You are right, I kind of made my response about men’s different languages and word usage. Not just in texting.
> 
> In texting, I prefer far less explicit language, but plenty of good juicy sext talk.
> 
> ...


Hey, no I never met him...and honestly toward the end (it was only for a week a while ago) I was losing interest and he would text and I would just go thru the motions (lol) while I was doing something else...I realized pretty quickly that I had no interest in him so I just stopped it.

Yeah I would rather have a text from someone saying hey get ready for me tonight because we are going to be doing some things...that would get my juices flowing..not a step by step okay I will put my hand here then I will put my mouth here..it was like what reading a porn script must be like. I just noticed that I would just immediately get turned off...


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

About a year ago, out of the *blue *my husband texted me a nude shot of himself after he'd done some "manly" manscaping, along with a message asking how I liked it.

I texted back, "_who_ is this?"


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

I sent my wife a **** pic once, she was not amused.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

You might be talking about an earlier thread I posted on. I do sexting with my wife at times. She might text me from work something indicating she is wanting it that night. I might depending on how busy she is do a little description of what I intend to do to her. But if it's a busy day I'll pass. Timing is everything for that.


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