# Not having sex tonight because......



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I have a gynocologists appointment on the 8th, and don't want to be all swollen up........

Wow, I should hang out a shingle, "Ladies have sex with Chuck, and walk funny for a week".....I think I need to hire an agent....

That one sent me to the moon....I told her if she didn't go into her room where I didn't have to look at her I was leaving right now.....

I have heard a lot of totally bullshi* excuses for no sex, but that one takes the prize......It isn't even a *reasonable *lie, it is just the *flimsiest *of excuses....Guess I caught her off guard and she didn't have time to think up a good one......

And the BJ she promised a month ago, she said I will get when I treat her beter....In other words, I don't deserve sex from her.....yet.....Wow, I have played 2 bullshi* cards in one day...

This after she spends 2 hours on the phone giggling with her "baby" brother....

She has time to waste on him, but no time for her husband...


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Yes...she's full of sh!t.
But you already know that.

She doesn't want to have sex with you.

Sorry man.


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

You still want sex with her??? Why?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

Get off TAM tonight... Bid us all a good night, go out somewhere fun tonight, talk to us tomorrow!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Another Planet (Aug 8, 2012)

One reason I got married was because I thought I would be able to have sex for the rest of my life with the same woman that I was incredibly attracted to. What a fk'n lie slap in the face BS betrayal that was.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Another Planet said:


> One reason I got married was because I thought I would be able to have sex for the rest of my life with the same woman that I was incredibly attracted to. What a fk'n lie slap in the face BS betrayal that was.


Another Planet - maybe start your own thread and tell us your story...you'll get more responses that way.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is she swells that bad from sex she should go there all swollen so that the doctor can investigate why she has this problem.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Thanks for the support guys.....I guess I just lost it for a while, and appreciate the backup.......

I think we should start a pool for the most BS , flimsiest, most phoney excuse of the week.....And maby a grand prize for the most BULLSHI* excuse of the year....

Of course I have already got a lock on this week, so we will have to start next week....Probably for the year too.....


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Should have asked if she had a Dentist appointment.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Is she swells that bad from sex she should go there all swollen so that the doctor can investigate why she has this problem.


I think we both know SWELLING is not the problem.....I guess her motto is "If you can't come up wirh a good lie any lie will do"

Do you think I should put her excuse on Craigs List? I suppose an endorsement like that should garner a great deal of femminine interest.....


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

How about being told three time a week is too much and being reduced to once every three weeks.

Like you, I didn't get married to be celebate. If I remember correctly I am neither a unic or a nun either...


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## Another Planet (Aug 8, 2012)

waiwera said:


> Another Planet - maybe start your own thread and tell us your story...you'll get more responses that way.


I wasn't looking for any responses just throwing a comment out there. I already have threads out there anyway. Thanks though


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Woodchuck said:


> I think we both know SWELLING is not the problem.....I guess her motto is "If you can't come up wirh a good lie any lie will do"
> 
> Do you think I should put her excuse on Craigs List? I suppose an endorsement like that should garner a great deal of femminine interest.....


So what are you going to do about it? Accept this kind of life?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Yeah, my wife used that one more than once in our history.

I got a BJ and a ride about 3 hours before her last obgyn checkup last month.

Figure out your issues or move on. I had made that decision myself, and was ready to move on if this last try didn't work out.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I don't particularly worry or care that my wife doesn't like me, all I'm looking for is a direct admission and honesty about it. I think that to me, that would be the bitterest objection in this case here. You don't want sex? Ok fine. At least say that and say why and stop being such a little b^tch about it. Trust me, the reasons why don't matter if they're all bullsh^t. Just give me the real reason. I don't even want to fix that problem anymore, I just want to hear you say it.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

The night before a morning appointment, perhaps, but 6 days before? That's ridiculous.


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

Woodchuck is being very modest about what he's packing... Apparently it takes over a week to recover from his penis!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> I don't particularly worry or care that my wife doesn't like me, all I'm looking for is a direct admission and honesty about it. I think that to me, that would be the bitterest objection in this case here. You don't want sex? Ok fine. At least say that and say why and stop being such a little b^tch about it. Trust me, the reasons why don't matter if they're all bullsh^t. Just give me the real reason. I don't even want to fix that problem anymore, I just want to hear you say it.


:iagree::iagree:


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## Michael A. Brown (Oct 16, 2012)

I'm not in mood to have sex if I'm stress from my work all day.


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## KendalMintcake (Nov 3, 2012)

These excuses are classic. Sorry man heard similar ones and think you may have won the prize. Do what I did and buy m her a dildo or vibrator and also don't forget to pick up a pocket ***** fi yourself and leave it in plain sight next to your side of the bed. The last sickness excuse I heard I called her in it and said wow. Interesting that hasn't bothered you since the last time we are alone. Just call her in it - say if sex repulsed you give me the respect to at least hear the truth. No way a ***** would remain swollen for a week. Also, I hear you in the telephone call, it drives me insane that a tv show takes precedent. How do they not think we can see right through them - btw, if my leg was cut off I'd still have sex!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

If I here one more time something like "I'm tired, I guess the wine makes me feel that way" coupled with "So you can pick-up our 14 yo daughter at 11 at her friend's party while I go to bed, rigt?" my head will explode.

She has to have here glass or two of wine everynight to help her "unwind" and she says it calms her down. Heck, she's so calm she's asleep and doesn't want to be bothered.

I started to be a bit passive/agressive this weekend (I know, bad) and told her that I wanted a GF just for sex. No emotional attachments. She thought I was kidding and she told me back (kidding) that it was OK as long as I didn't spend any money on her.

I think after the New Year I am going to tell her that my resolution is to relieve her of the burden of having sex with me. We used to have sex once every week and a half or so now we are at like 3 weeks! I'd rather be left alone at this point!


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I guess packing like I am, I should at least have paramedics on call when I'm feeling frisky!

Her reasoning was, the last time we had sex it was about 2 hours of foreplay, oral, vibe, etc, followed by an hour of PIV...AND SHE WAS A LITTLE SORE THE NEXT DAY...

THEN SHE SAID IF I COULDN'T GET HER TO ORGASN AFTER THAT i MUST BE A LOUSY LOVER.......

IT ALL CENTERS AROUND THEM...THEY HAVE HALF THE MONEY AND ALL THE PU$$Y...GUYS ARE PLAYING AGAINST A STACKED DECK......


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## east2west (Oct 19, 2012)

I think its a great excuse.

Now she is not only off the hook for tonight but for the next 5 nights!


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

In her mind they are probably not excuses, it could be the way she actually feels. HOWEVER, it kind of seems shes just not that into you either, maybe cut your loses so you can get some sex, and she can do whatever it is she does.


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## Terry_CO (Oct 23, 2012)

Sorry, man. I thought my ex had used all the creative excuses


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

"THEN SHE SAID IF I COULDN'T GET HER TO ORGASN AFTER THAT i MUST BE A LOUSY LOVER......."

Hold the phone! Did she actually say this??????


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Toffer said:


> "THEN SHE SAID IF I COULDN'T GET HER TO ORGASN AFTER THAT i MUST BE A LOUSY LOVER......."
> 
> Hold the phone! Did she actually say this??????


VERBATUM......Last night she told me to go out and find a prostitute....This afternoon she is doing her gf's hair, no mention of sex...Like it never happened


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

Damn, she has zero respect for you!!! WTF?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Interlocutor said:


> Damn, she has zero respect for you!!! WTF?


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

This is a complete lack of respect. If my wife said that to me even once, She wouldn't have to worry about ever have to voice that complaint a second time.

I'd be outta there faster than sh!t through a goose.

So tell us again, why are you putting up with this?????


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> I have a gynocologists appointment on the 8th, and don't want to be all swollen up........
> 
> Wow, I should hang out a shingle, "Ladies have sex with Chuck, and walk funny for a week".....I think I need to hire an agent....
> 
> ...


Define what she means by "treat her better". Does she think you are an a-hole? If so, BE NICE! 

I know for my wife, she must feel respected by me and connected to me. I am generally very good to my wife. We get along pretty well. Her issue is connection. I feel connection FROM sex, she must feel it BEFORE sex. Connection for her doesn't mean roses and a fancy dinner; it means like we're friends. She wants to share that level intimacy with her best friend (me  :smthumbup: ). She wants to have talked.

Another thing for her is stress. Not like household chores-type stress, but things that must get done type stress. She'll do stuff with me if she's stress, but she can't relax to get herself involved. It's not that sex doesn't relieve her stress, it's that she can't really focus on enjoying it if she has too much else to think about.


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> VERBATUM......Last night she told me to go out and find a prostitute....This afternoon she is doing her gf's hair, no mention of sex...Like it never happened


That's messed up, Chuck. confront her. Ask if she wants your marriage to work. Tell her you'll be damned if you're going to be celibate by her choice. 

You didn't get married just to have sex (at least, I hope not!), but you also didn't get married to not have sex, either.


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## sweaty teddy (Nov 13, 2012)

she lost respect for you a long time ago.

and it seems like you don't respect yourself enough to put an end to her bullsh*t.

start your exit plan!!!!!! on the down low and when your ready bail!


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

I kind of agree with Sweaty.

I think what you should have done when she said that to you is to say F you and start the proceedings!


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> This after she spends 2 hours on the phone giggling with her "baby" brother....
> 
> She has time to waste on him, but no time for her husband...


When is the last time you were able to giggle with her?


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Most men would have great difficulty recovering from such a nasty comment like that. A lot of 'sex' problems are mostly a lack of 'love and respect' issues. 
I believe intense MC would be the only thing to do in this case, when things have reached this low of a a point. Truly horrible.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

When my wife has an early work shift, she has a built in excuse not to bang. But when I have te same wake up time, ill stay up all night to drop a load. Men don't care about anything else but sex - I freely admit it and wear that statement like a badge of honor.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

Exactly right 40...I got home from a late circuit turn up with AT&T around 1:00 am. We chatted for about 30 mins before we went to bed. I get up around 7:30 for work.
After a short back rub for my wife, I roll over to go to sleep. She reaches over and grabs my hand and places it back on her lower back...
It was play time!!!:woohoo:

I'll gladly pay the price the next day at work, anytime!


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Daneosaurus said:


> Define what she means by "treat her better". Does she think you are an a-hole? If so, BE NICE!
> 
> I know for my wife, she must feel respected by me and connected to me. I am generally very good to my wife. We get along pretty well. Her issue is connection. I feel connection FROM sex, she must feel it BEFORE sex. Connection for her doesn't mean roses and a fancy dinner; it means like we're friends. She wants to share that level intimacy with her best friend (me  :smthumbup: ). She wants to have talked.
> 
> Another thing for her is stress. Not like household chores-type stress, but things that must get done type stress. She'll do stuff with me if she's stress, but she can't relax to get herself involved. It's not that sex doesn't relieve her stress, it's that she can't really focus on enjoying it if she has too much else to think about.


See my post "RANT" I did nearly the entire Thanksgiving dinner for 11 including all the grocery shopping, and smoking a turkey over charcoal and hickory.....Most wives would still be giving thank you bj's Mine seems to think thank you starts with an "F"...


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

indytm said:


> when is the last time you were able to giggle with her?


about a week ago...


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> See my post "RANT" I did nearly the entire Thanksgiving dinner for 11 including all the grocery shopping, and smoking a turkey over charcoal and hickory.....Most wives would still be giving thank you bj's Mine seems to think thank you starts with an "F"...


Well, I guess it's different for us. There is no amount of "doing things" I can do that makes my wife want to be intimate. Either she feels like it, or she doesn't. She needs the emotional connection (the talking, hanging out, being friends part) or she is just not into it.

I don't get "thank you bj's". I get infrequent things like that if she feels like it. I get what your saying about there is nothing for her to be stressed about. IDK, what to say. Tell her straight up that you have no desire to remain celibate forever.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Woodchuck said:


> See my post "RANT" I did nearly the entire Thanksgiving dinner for 11 including all the grocery shopping, and smoking a turkey over charcoal and hickory.....Most wives would still be giving thank you bj's Mine seems to think thank you starts with an "F"...


So why do that stuff? If things really are not working for you, why are you still doing all the really nice things for her? Things clearly are not working for her, and she is not doing those things for you. 

Your actions need to be aligned with your words.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Dad went to bed early so I chilled some wine and waited till she came into the living room, so we could sip wine, look at the Christmas lights and reconnect.....

Brrrrrrring Brrrrring Its (her) baby sister....The one who brags "were not sexually active anymore" .An hour later I walk down the hall to see what the holdup is....And before I open the door I hear her dogging me out like I was Jack the Ripper.......

So much for wine and Christmas lights.......


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## Another Planet (Aug 8, 2012)

It's been said a million times on this site but remember you can't force her to like you. It was a slap in the face when my wife admited she doesn't like me anymore but it was needed to help me understand.

I haven't had sex since this spring sometime, maybe early May. Now in hindsite I am actually thankfull for it, because of that I have been released from her fog and can now see things for what they truly are and have been for a looooong time. 

Now I don't want her, I don't like her anymore and wouldn't risk mixing my genetic material with her.


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## inmygut (Apr 2, 2011)

Woodchuck said:


> I have a gynocologists appointment on the 8th, and don't want to be all swollen up........
> 
> Wow, I should hang out a shingle, "Ladies have sex with Chuck, and walk funny for a week".....I think I need to hire an agent....
> 
> ...


Get the book Married Man Sex Life and put into practice. Sounds like she's just not into. Also sounds like you act like a doormat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedTex (Sep 24, 2010)

Woodchuck said:


> Dad went to bed early so I chilled some wine and waited till she came into the living room, so we could sip wine, look at the Christmas lights and reconnect.....
> 
> Brrrrrrring Brrrrring Its (her) baby sister....The one who brags "were not sexually active anymore" .An hour later I walk down the hall to see what the holdup is....And before I open the door I hear her dogging me out like I was Jack the Ripper.......
> 
> So much for wine and Christmas lights.......


Wood,

Your posts are replete with "covert contracts." That is, you expect quid pro quo without ever stating your expectations. For instance, "I cook T-giving dinner, I should get a blowjob." I exactly hear what you are saying. I know you deserve a blowjob because I'm a guy. She does not make the same links in her head.

Without knowing more about your situation, I suspect that you may be "too nice." May want to check out book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover.

Basic premise is that we Nice Guys (I'm one, too) put our own priorities last in order to satisfy those around us and particularly our spouses. In the process, we lose the self identities that make us attractive to the spouse in the first place.

It's counter-intuitive. But you have to learn how to place yourself first if you want spouse to see you as a person of value. She's not going to sex you up for frying a turkey. She's going to bang the guy who's interesting and oozes confidence. 

What was she like when dating? What were you like? Tell us honestly, what has changed?


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Bottom line, if you're tired of being treated this way, and feel you deserve better then you will leave. If not, and you're not quite tired of it yet, then you will stay, the choice is yours.


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