# Why won't my husband give her up?



## Won'tgiveup (Aug 19, 2009)

My husband and I separated and I was unfaithful last year which is one of the reasons we are now separated. We have both decided to try and work through our problems. A few weeks ago my husband went on vacation and slept with two women both I know. My husband has told me that in order for us to move foward then we need to eliminate the people from our past that we had ties with. Which I agree with 100%. However, now that I am willing to do this, my husband has decided that he is not willing to let go of a friendship with a woman that he slept with while he was on vacation. I know her as well and I am willling to work on us but with her in the picture i am not confident that there is not an emotional connection between the two of them. He claims there is not but I dont believe him because he is protecting her interests more than mine.

Help...am I wrong to feel that he should not have contact with her...


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

well, your seperated and for the time being you really have no say in who he is seeing.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

If you both are looking to reunite the marriage, then all traces of all relationships from the past should be severed. No contacting ex's in any manner. They will only serve as a distraction from the commitment.


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## WantsHappiness (Jun 17, 2009)

You both cheated. You both want to work on things. He demands that you cut ties with old lovers (which I agree is a good idea). Then he should cut ties with his old lovers too. This woman included, I agree with you 100%. How else can you both move forward?


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## mistake maker (Aug 7, 2009)

If you both want to work on the marriage? If that is true then i believe that all EA and PA need to stop, as not contact with them as long as you are working on the marriage.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

WantsHappiness said:


> You both cheated. You both want to work on things. He demands that you cut ties with old lovers (which I agree is a good idea). Then he should cut ties with his old lovers too. This woman included, I agree with you 100%. How else can you both move forward?


:iagree:


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## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

One set of rules for him and another for you isn't going to work. You're not wrong to think it should apply to both of you.


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

Maybe it's payback for you cheating on him. I have a hard time calling these women, women from his past, when it's only been 3 weeks. It sounds to me like you werent ready to cut ties with your EA/PA until he starting banging other women...now suddenly you are. And, naturally you are upset he wont do it. He probably wont ever do it..maybe this is what he needed to realize there are better ways to spend your life then trying to get over a wife who cheated on you.


Though honestly, he should have just divorced you in the first place. Maybe it's all a plan of his...get you to cut ties with your other man...make you want him again...and then divorce you. Devious.




John


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## NothingMan (Jul 16, 2009)

nightshade said:


> One set of rules for him and another for you isn't going to work. You're not wrong to think it should apply to both of you.


If she cheated..and he didnt...there should be two sets of rules. The cheater doesnt get to cry foul at unfair rules. The cheatee gets to make the rules and the cheater gets to bite their lip and dance along to the music. If they dont like dancing...they know where the door is. It's the same door they used to go let some other person have sex with them. Remember that door? Thought so.

Same rules....pshaw.





John


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