# Saving money before divorce?



## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

For those of you that have been through this...how do I save money for myself to live off of without the spouse getting half of it? I'm not going to do anything illegal like hide it and not disclose it when it comes time for that, but I need to have enough money to pay the lawyer and rent a place for myself as well as a few months expenses until I adjust to the new lower income.

My plan is to file for the divorce and stay home until it's a week or two from being final, then move out. I already tried moving out first and she stalled so much that I ran out of money and had to go back home (couldn't keep supporting two households). Plus she wouldn't agree to splitting my income before the divorce filing. I offered to let her have half my paycheck and she wouldn't agree (she doesn't work).

Right now I've got money going to an employee stock purchase that she knows nothing about. That's where I'm saving it up for the time being. Someone told me I needed to "spend it first" before filing but I can't rent anyplace that far ahead. I have to wait until just before it's final or she'll drag it all out again.

Thanks.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Get advice from a lawyer to keep yourself out of trouble. Many will offer one hour free. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

*Dean* said:


> No experience but any good lawyer is going to request a paycheck stubb, last years Tax Return, bank records, etc.
> 
> They are going to find out every cent that is coming out of your paycheck
> (401k, stock purchase plan, any stock options that you may have but haven't vested in yet, etc).


I know this. That's why I asked the question.

Surely lot's of others had to make provisions like this under the same situation?


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

If its money earned before the date of separation, its still marital money (at least in most jurisdictions-but check with an attorney), even if you plan to use it afterwards. Hiding it won't help and could get you in trouble. You can set up a separate account all you want, but it doesn't change the classification. Sorry.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

It'd be real handy if she'd find a love interest. Any way to facilitate that? Nothing clouds judgement quite like love or lust. When she's paying attention to another guy, she's not focused on you. If she'd move in with him, you'd have the crib to yourself. If she's anxious enough to move on with her life (with him), she'll sign anything.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

It's tough when the spouse is a homemaker. I feel for you. I second the suggestion to consult a lawyer. They might be able to advise you how to save money legally.


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## blairejones (May 9, 2012)

Major financial decisions can be tough to make as part of your early 20s. Keeping a few basic things in mind will set you up for a much easier financial time later in life. Well, to save at least something for yourself is a very helpful thing when you're not making much money. You should be able to save at least something because whatever you save during your 20s will surely pay off as you get older. Tour savings can also prevent you form getting into much debt when you have emergency expenses that you may not be able to pay for. Source for this article: 3 things you should wait to do until you are at least 27


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

BeachGuy said:


> I already tried moving out first and she stalled so much that I ran out of money and had to go back home (couldn't keep supporting two households). Plus she wouldn't agree to splitting my income before the divorce filing. I offered to let her have half my paycheck and she wouldn't agree.


You need to talk to a lawyer ASAP. She wouldn't agree? Why would she? She got exactly what she wanted...you (and your paycheck) back in her control.

A lawyer can lay-out your rights in this situation. How long have you been married? Kids? How old? Wife is a stay-at-home?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Definitely talk to a lawyer ASAP

Ask if you can remove her from any joint credit cards (if you're in a community property state, you'll also be on the hook for half of HER debts). Also ask if you can move half of any money in joint bank accounts to accounts in your name only. That way she can only spend the half she has access to. You may need to show good faith by having half your paycheck deposited into her account as well as the other half into your account.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

Kids? That is really where you get hit the most on money. 

Does she have an education? You don't say how long you've been married but if not too long, she's not going to get alimony or anything. 

There isn't really anything you can do as far as saving. Everyone here is right. While you are married, what is yours is hers.

Sorry man, it sucks. I'm in the same boat. My stbxw is "entitled" to a ton and that is that. Just accept that your life is going to change.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

jan walden said:


> When my brother went through a nasty divorce a few years ago, he consulted a Divorce Lawyer In Nashville and on his lawyer's advice, he regularly sent cash in the mail to my parents for them to hold for him. I know cash in the mail is considered risky, but it all arrived safely, we are talking about several thousand dollars cumulatively.0


Money orders are safer and don't leave a visible trail if bought with cash.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Please remember that any and all financial transactions occurring either immediately before or during the due course of the divorce process are subject to legal discovery by your spouse as dictated by your state's rules of court!

But a word to the wise: Non-compliance or the willful or omissionary fabrication of false or misleading evidence about such transactions could get yourself and even your legal counsel sanctioned or even incarcerated by the court of jurisdiction!

Tread lightly!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I'm not sure what else a lawyer can tell you that will help. I suggest you save the money now, then move out and prepay your rent for 6 months (maybe you'll even get a discount!). Then stop giving your wife any money other than absolute essentials for bills (or maybe less, and tell her to get a job to help out), so that she has no way to string you along. It's legal, too. Maybe she'll file for divorce when she's desperate, or you can negotiate with her if she will stop obstructing. If you do NOT have a divorce filing and there is no legal separation in place, she can't make you do anything. Play hardball. Make her life miserable until she negotiates in good faith, get it in writing, and pay for the lawyers yourself if necessary, to get it done and over.

Where you live and how long you've been married will determine if/how much alimony she'll get, etc., and you can research location specific divorce advice and laws to get a better idea of what you can/can't do.

It looks like you're in Florida, so this may help: http://www.myfloridalaw.com/alimony/obtaining-alimony-in-a-florida-divorce/


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

Zombie thread


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

ThreeStrikes said:


> Zombie thread


*... that somehow came back to life!*
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