# Can apposite attract? and if so what happens in your sex live? are we doomed to fail?



## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

I am hopeless as I don't know what to do...it seems that I just can't find peace in my relationship with my wife...nothing that she does seems enough.....is just that the history between us around sex weights so heavily on my shoulders that now that I put preassure for things to change and they are changing, I am still not happy....she just can't make me feel that she gets me that I want to have intimacy with her that goes beyond the bedroom...she just doesn't get it....why does it affect me this much... no clue!...I guess, I should be enjoying all the new things we have, but I just can't!


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

you want to have intimacy outside of the bedroom due to things you are doing in the bedroom?? I don't think that will ever work. You might have to help me out, I don't think I am getting the question on this one.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Marco, what happened give more details. What is your wife not doing? In a few short weeks you have gone from despair to happy to despair again. Can you see how that is a problem? A person planning for the long haul would pace themselves celebrate small victories and see setbacks as temporary. 

After such a long time of dissatisfaction with the way your wife shows she cares for you, why do you think you can turn things around on a dime? 

You have made wonderful strides but you want everything to change instantaneously and that is the only way you can feel success. You mentioned being successful in your work - you can turn on a dime in the workplace but not in personal relationships. Why not build slowly on your success with your wife, why are you not enjoying your victories with her? 

You sound as if you are ready to throw in the towel. Let me ask you if you have problems with patience and control. Are you critical of those around you when they don't meet your exacting expectations? These character traits are bigger problems, if indeed they exist, than the lack of intimacy that you feel. You are the only one that can evaluate yourself and only you can put things right. 

If you want success, you are going to have to do much work on yourself. It will not be easy to take the focus off of your wife and her attitude and put it where it belongs, on you. But you have to do it, for yourself your wife and your family. The vast swings in your moods are disturbing and I am sure disrupting to forming the intamacy that you want. 

You have gotten good advice on the board, but you do not listen, you seem to go headlong into solving your problems and then crash and burn. None of that is good. If you need help to make the transition from where you are now to where you want to be, then get it. Don't be bullheaded. 

If I am totally off base in any or all of this, please forgive me my intensions are to help not hurt. :scratchhead:


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

the more u force it from her, the more she will drift away... too little of something is bad, but too much of hounding could be worse


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