# can't get rid of anxiety issues about wife



## carrier (Dec 16, 2011)

My wife and I have been married 11yrs. About a year ago my wife started talking to a guyfriend about our issues. The conversations turned into more then friendly conversations. I found out about it, we had our healing period, she stopped talking to him, and everything seemed fine until about a month ago. I started having anxiety attacks when she went to a friends house for the weekend. I kept feeling like she was withdrawn from me and something was wrong. I was right. For awhile now she has felt confused about who she is, she says it dosen't have anything to do with me. She always says that we are fine. We have discussed each others faults and what we need to do to strengthen our marriage. I am now dealing with anxiety on and off. What triggers my anxiety? What she is saying on facebook, what she is saying/texting to her friend, when she gets upset I think it has to do with me. I am always searching for reassurance from her, wether its a kiss, hug, cuddling in bed. Whenever she dosen't initial a kiss or sit and cuddle with me on the couch the anxiety starts to kick in. I'm starting to feal like a charity case. I try to keep things to a minimum and not overburden her with these thoughts or actions. Thats why I thought this might be a good helpline for me. Any thoughts?


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## joshuag136 (Dec 29, 2011)

same here. my wife doesnt stay anywhere, she works and comes home, we have been married for a few years...i just feel like im losing her, i dont know what to do...if i ask her about our marriage, i pretty much just look at it like she is telling me what i want to hear...i dont want to lose her...


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

You say talking about your issues. What kind of issues. Cant you get your reassurance any other way. Until you get it nothing will improve. Have you any real reason to suspect anything. If so you must tell her.


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## [email protected] (Jan 1, 2012)

i have felt teh same emotion swith my wife of eleven years.
she told me its her issues of depression adn anxiety. i have recenctly been told tha ti am not welcome in bed because it makes her uncomfortable.
she is cheerful at work but at home is anxious adn grumpy.
she has told me tha tshe is still in love with me and couldnt ask for a better father of "her children"
have you all felt anything like that?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

[email protected] said:


> i have felt teh same emotion swith my wife of eleven years.
> she told me its her issues of depression adn anxiety. i have recenctly been told tha ti am not welcome in bed because it makes her uncomfortable.
> she is cheerful at work but at home is anxious adn grumpy.
> she has told me tha tshe is still in love with me and couldnt ask for a better father of "her children"
> have you all felt anything like that?


Why are you leaving your bed? She should be the one leaving. Why do you put up with being kicked out of your bed?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You might all want to take a look at the links in my signature block about building a passionate marriage. I think these would help all of you on this thread.


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

To KL 
You should be making your own thread. I have read your posts here and elsewhere. You must tell us a bit more. How long ago did your wife 'leave' you and what made it 'start' and how was it before that.
The best thing of course like someone else has just done is getting both H and W to post. I am surprised the previous poster didnt post on those threads. They say now they are happy to be together again.


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## [email protected] (Jan 1, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Why are you leaving your bed? She should be the one leaving. Why do you put up with being kicked out of your bed?


she has been sleeping with our seven year old since the beginning. they go to bed at 800 or 830 and then i go to bed much later. the seven year old gets put in her bed by me at a much later time.

once i get into bed , my wife makes noises as if i am an intruder.
:scratchhead:


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## [email protected] (Jan 1, 2012)

i forgot
i am an emtional retard, i do anything not to over turn the applecart. i dont like the idea that i may hear bad news, and i have


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## merri (Jan 3, 2012)

[email protected] said:


> i forgot
> i am an emtional retard, i do anything not to over turn the applecart. i dont like the idea that i may hear bad news, and i have


Don't call yourself that. You avoid confrontation like so many people. Cut yourself some slack.


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## [email protected] (Jan 1, 2012)

the more i discuss this with my family and friends , teh more it becomes that i have runaway from the conforntations with my wife. i do not want to make an unfriendly choice and "pay for it"
thanky ou for the kind words.


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