# not sure if I'm the wife or mama



## Notyomama (Aug 26, 2012)

Been married for 2 yrs but together for 11 yrs in total. We have to boys under the age of 7. Since the beginning of our relationship I have been the one to figure out weeelllllll.....everything. I am in my early thirties and I am tired. Tired of being the one dealing with all of our financial whoes. When I say "we need more money coming in"all I get is "Imma gonna". I still don't know who imma gonna is or when imma gonna is comin. I don't mind providing but the laziness is getting to me, I only have a 2 yr degree but manage to work my way up through different jobs and make in the mid 40s(clearly not enough for a fam of 4). He has made 10hr for the last 8yrs and doesn't care to do better. I've taken the time to apply to jobs for him written resumes and cover letters but I just can't do in anymore and I think he is mad that I won't. I see how much better that some of my fam and friends are doin and feel like I deserve more. We basically live check to check no savings we have a car that is 10 yr old (my car) the two newer cars we had he totaled and lost his license so I am also a chuffer to the 10 bucks An hr job....At this point I'm just frustrated and feel like we need to separate and maybe he will stand on his own two feet


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

GIRRRRRLLLLL nuh uh.

My first husband had no ambition either. I couldn't deal with it. Y'all need to get into some counseling and quick. 

Not providing is to women as not having sex is to men. These things are seriously fundamental.


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## Notyomama (Aug 26, 2012)

yeah there is notta bone of ambition in his body and its sad. I keep tellin him how important this is but its been this way so long he isn't taking it serious. I need him to wake up cause I am ok with being co-parents at this point.


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## Mr.D.E.B.T. (Jul 19, 2012)

While you can't change his habits, you can help by making sure you are not enabling him. I agree with hotdogs; counseling is needed asap. His issues probably stem from childhood and he has to address them.


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## Notyomama (Aug 26, 2012)

Thank you for the suggestions. I have set up counseling so we will see what comes of it


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