# Habitual cheater??



## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

My husband has always "joked" ( reminds) me of the fact that I was promiscuous as a teenager because of sexual abuse in younger years. 

Now, after 9 years of marriage, his skeletons are coming out.
I am his 3rd marriage, and he liked to compare the fact that he has only had 4 or 5 sex partners throughout his life so far. 

Yet now since his EA, he has admitted that those 4 or 5 sex partners kinda overlapped with his marriages. So in a sense, during his 2nd marriage he actually cheated on her with a couple of these women. 
So actually he was involved with 2-4 women at once.


And now he is upset with me because I can't get over the fact of him "talking" to an old friend that he swears he never slept with.......
But I almost feel like he can't control himself and cannot go without at least having that "thrill" of cheating even if it's just emotional ( since he takes so many meds, I don't think he could physically take care of more than 1 woman anyway). 
At the beginning of our marriage, he was starting to talk a bit to his XW until I told him I had a problem with it so he stopped... So I now wonder how much he talked to her or anyone else that I wouldn't of known about since I didn't track his calls all the years we have been married.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Your husband appears to be a serial cheater.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

aug said:


> Your husband appears to be a serial cheater.


:iagree:

I bet if you contacted his ex wives yourself, there might be a different story painted here. This is now his 3rd marriage, right? He has something broken inside of him that you cannot fix yourself. He needs professional help for that. He appears to have this need for the thrill of the chase and gets off on the secrecy involved.


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I bet if you contacted his ex wives yourself, there might be a different story painted here. This is now his 3rd marriage, right? He has something broken inside of him that you cannot fix yourself. He needs professional help for that. He appears to have this need for the thrill of the chase and gets off on the secrecy involved.



Yes, his 3rd, and only my 1st. I have always been scared of commitment ( engaged 2 times before and ran away from it)..... Guess I should of again... But I thought I was finally happy. Then 10 years later, get slammed with this info. So, I am in limbo right now. Not sure what to do next? 
Just don't think I will be able to trust him again,,, it's like I haven't "known" him all this time.

Hoping to hear from OWH tomorrow since I called him last week and let him know of them talking and I e-mailed him copies of all the calls and text times and dates. Not sure when he was going to confront her? 

Hoping when he does , then we can compare stories and see if any different to find out more of what happened.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I hope OWH isn't like a lot of the BHs that come here, in denial about their wive's affair and wanting to sweep it under the rug real quickly. 

I'm so sorry you're going thru this, but you've been on this site long enough to know about TT. If he's admited to 4 or 5, then there are probably a lot more that you don't know about.

Limbo sucks, but what you can do in the meantime is lawyer up to at least see what your options are. Like I said, there's something broken in him that you cannot fix.


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## Numb in Ohio (Oct 31, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> I hope OWH isn't like a lot of the BHs that come here, in denial about their wive's affair and wanting to sweep it under the rug real quickly.



She cheated on him before early in their marriage that he forgave then. So I can't see him sweeping this as easy ( except the fact that we don't think it was physical right now). They've been married 21 years.


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