# Foreplay tips needed



## knowledgeinlatin (Apr 29, 2010)

As part of therapy my wife and I are to attempt to discover what feels good to her. To do this we are to to touch, kiss,caress, lick etc.... everywhere but the obvious sexual spots (genitals, breasts).

This comes about by my lack of confidence and her lack of desire. So needless to say I really want to do this right, and nothing is more exciting to me than pleasing a woman. I know everyone is different, but I'd like to hear what others find a turn-on or exiciting, or perhaps something that feels great or intimate. Specifically though, what works for you during the initial foreplay stage of lovemaking? Remember, this is a task that avoids direct sexual contact.

Ladies, what does it for you? Guys, what do you do that your partner just loves?

Thanks


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## Momof3kids (Nov 24, 2009)

Well, no one else has jumped in here yet, so I will. 

One of my absolute favorite things is when my partner tells me to lay on my stomach and then proceeds to run his hands, fingers, tongue, lips up my spine. He starts at the base of my spine and slowly works his way up, placing little kisses here and there and then ending with kisses on the back of my neck, along my shoulders, etc. He works his way back down and starts over. 

It doesn't sound terribly sexual (it is for me - but that's another story...) but it's very gentle, very intimate, and feels phenomenal. The more he does it (usually while talking to me about what he finds sexy about me or what will come next or...), the more turned on I get. It's simple and yet very erotic because while he's doing it, I know he's totally focused on making me feel good. 

Hoping that your experiment goes well! Good luck!


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)

My wife loves when I use my fingernails and run them over every inch of her body (light, light scratching) She really likes it when I focus it on her back, right above her butt. She also likes when I run my fingers through her hair from the roots to the very tips. She also likes head massages (pressing with your finger tips). She also likes me to massage her butt. Finally, one of her most favorite things to do is for both of us to lie nude in bed and I just hold her tight and gently run my hands all over her body and we talk. We usually have about 30+ minutes of gentle touching, caressing and holding before we get overtly sexual.

Mrs. C doesn't like kissing that much, so for me running my tongue around her body doesn't do anything. But she sure as hell loves my hands and fingers. She goes between wanting really light touches sometimes to wanting the touches to be very firm and sometimes even hard. Just make sure to start lightly and ASK her if that's good or she wants it firmer, with nails, etc. Don't ever be afraid to just simply ask. 

This is what we the husband can do for our wives to make the experience that much more pleasurable for them. I've found with Mrs. C about 80% of her sexual satisfaction comes from the touching, caressing, etc. For her, the climax is a great release, but of much smaller importance to her than the touching.

I found when I first started doing this I wasn't that "into" it. I felt it was kind of boring and just a task. Soon though, I started really understanding how much it meant to her and surprisingly I found myself liking to do that for her. At first I would ask from time to time for a few "wham bam" sessions. But after a time I found I was no longer enjoying those either and longer foreplay is now the norm in our household.


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## SweetiepieMI (Jan 22, 2010)

I LOVE when hubby puts his fingers through my hair from root to tip, going from one side of my head all the way to the other, gently though. Usually we'll be on the couch, hes sitting and im laying next to him with my head on his lap and out of nowhere he will do it (usually we r just watching tv)- and i love it everytime. 
Another thing that I find to be great for forplay is when he massages the inside of my upper thigh- usually starts on the top n works his what to the very inner, but not going for the sweet spot lol- 

Kissing on the neck can be great too. Passonate kisses and then maybe a nibble on the ear does the trick everytime. Hope some of the ideas help!


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

Avoid contacting sexual areas only if you are insisting. 

To do these things like a full body massage, focusing on head to toe, or extremities working towards the middle is good.

To lightly scratch with fingernails is good, but do sparingly.

Also something like using a high quality skin lotion or massage oil is good, apply all over after she is bathed.

Also know your lack of confidence and her lack of desire are probably the same issue. 

Learn to express in your actions, not so much words, just this same thing you are saying in your post, "nothing is more exciting to me than pleasing a woman". 

Show her in actions that this is truth, even in times to put down the remote, turn off the tv, cancel the time with the fellows and instead make it clear to her in your BEHAVIOR you are feeling this way. 

And make these moves and even others on your own leadership and initiative and planning, and invite your woman to receive pleasure from you instead to like so many making the mistake to ask permission with words or let some excuse continue to get in the way. This is doing only one thing, withering sexual attraction and growing resentment.

I wish you well.


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## knowledgeinlatin (Apr 29, 2010)

Some great feedback so far. Thanks guys. It's funny, but just hearing so many suggestions is giving me the confidence. It's not a lack of desire, but a lack of imagination. Going in with a plan is going to make this much better for me. Right now, I can't wait (at work sadly) 

Would still love to hear more.


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## knowledgeinlatin (Apr 29, 2010)

Thanks Star. Perhaps just a little too much for this first exercise, but perfect for the next stage. Not sure how I can resist breaking the rules though, especially with this advice.


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## marriedguy (Nov 7, 2009)

yeah I used to do things like this to my wife as well, but as time went on she got less and less excited about it..now she'll end up snoring if I'm doing light/gentle foreplay like this to her...hope you got better luck than me.


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

I have to say one of the biggest turn on for me is when hubby starts with kissing my ear as he is whispering how much he loves me then kissing my neck. Also when he gives me sweet little kisses on the mouth then pulls back enough for i can still feel his warm breathe looking into his eyes knowing he wants me is enough to make me melt into his arms


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

These are some great tips! Remember, foreplay starts at the beginning of the day. Let her know how much you love and want her, write her a sensual love letter describing her body parts in detail and what you love about them, do things for her outside of the bedroom and then, once there, just start to slowly touch, kiss, and caress her all over. Get some great smelling massage oil and treat her to a full body massage, give her a bath, including washing her hair if she's comfortable with that.... there is really no limit to what you can do once you start thinking about it, but keep it going...


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## Red_Riding_Hood (Apr 28, 2010)

Star said:


> Try caressing her body with your lips and tongue, get close to hot spots like nipples and just breath hot breath onto them, kiss her inner thighs and again breath on her clit but don't actually touch send her senses into overdrive, trust me a short while of you doing this she will be forcing your head down there!!! another thing that I find extremely hot is if he leaves my thong on and kisses/runs his tongue through the material of it, omg just the thought of that is enough for me!!! Lol!!! I usually end up pulling it aside so I can feel his tongue actually on/in me. (haha I so know what I'm gonna be getting up to tonight)
> 
> Most of all just have fun with each others bodies, that's what they are there for!!


That is so hot I just got turned on reading it...

I think part of the reason I have trouble getting into sex is my husband is kind of grabby and just goes directly for the "hot spots" and instead of turning me on, it has the opposite effect.

I wonder how I can get my husband to read this lol


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## wifeinlove (Apr 29, 2010)

wow.... what an interesting discussion topic 

Id like to add, that for women (and maybe for men too?), that alot of the foreplay starts in the imagination in your thought life I mean if you spend your whole day, fantasizing about having sex with someone completely different to your partner then things aren't going to be so hot re: foreplay. But if you spend time imagining the things you might do, .... a simple lustful look would be enough to drive you wild.

Think back to when you first got together... wasnt half the fun the anticipation? The waiting for something and then it finally happening. 

In terms of good non-sexual contact... its going to be a very individual thing. But Id say that kissing behind the ears or neck, is very sensual. I also think the romantic gestures are always a hit.... tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, kiss on the forehead, holding hands. Also, dont underestimate the power of words- personally I think that a few sensual words whispered softly are worth far more than a full body massage.

One final thing, sometimes its not about the action, but about the desire and intent behind the action. Women like to feel beautiful and desirable... and unfortunately its not like press this button and we are good to go. So it may be more about the way things are done, and not exactly what action is done.


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## Shadowhealer (May 19, 2010)

knowledgeinlatin said:


> As part of therapy my wife and I are to attempt to discover what feels good to her. To do this we are to to touch, kiss,caress, lick etc.... everywhere but the obvious sexual spots (genitals, breasts).
> 
> This comes about by my lack of confidence and her lack of desire. So needless to say I really want to do this right, and nothing is more exciting to me than pleasing a woman. I know everyone is different, but I'd like to hear what others find a turn-on or exiciting, or perhaps something that feels great or intimate. Specifically though, what works for you during the initial foreplay stage of lovemaking? Remember, this is a task that avoids direct sexual contact.
> 
> ...


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## Shadowhealer (May 19, 2010)

1. place an icecube on her navel and balance it in and around it
2. while the ice melts, lick her around it
3. same can be applied on either breasts/nipples
4. suck her breasts like a baby while inserting finger in and out of her vagina


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## cowboyfan (Nov 15, 2009)

marriedguy said:


> yeah I used to do things like this to my wife as well, but as time went on she got less and less excited about it..now she'll end up snoring if I'm doing light/gentle foreplay like this to her...hope you got better luck than me.


Haha, I know exactly what you mean. Giving my wife a massage is a huge turnon for me, but it's sooo relaxing to her that she'll fall asleep usually. Of course when she doesn't she's very receptive, but that doesn't seem to be the type of 'foreplay' that works best for us.


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

cowboyfan said:


> Haha, I know exactly what you mean. Giving my wife a massage is a huge turnon for me, but it's sooo relaxing to her that she'll fall asleep usually. Of course when she doesn't she's very receptive, but that doesn't seem to be the type of 'foreplay' that works best for us.


They say that 60% of massages end up in sex- from what I've heard lol. The 40% for us is when my husband isn't really taking his time and I can tell it's a chore for him. He just kinda grabs and rubs my back and then is like "you good yet??" ummm no.

BUT the 60% for us is when he really focuses on me and he's enjoying it as much as I am. We usually use massage candle wax and it is amazing. Not at all too hot and it always smells so yummy. He rubs my arms and legs and when he's going back up my legs every once in a while he'll get to where I think he's going to touch me there and then he doesn't. After a few times of that teasing and light kisses on me by the end my butt is in the air and I'm practically begging him. It's all in how you approach it and discovering, with your wife, what you both enjoy.


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

cowboyfan said:


> Haha, I know exactly what you mean. Giving my wife a massage is a huge turnon for me, but it's sooo relaxing to her that she'll fall asleep usually. Of course when she doesn't she's very receptive, but that doesn't seem to be the type of 'foreplay' that works best for us.


You might be giving her the wrong kind of massages


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## steve71 (Feb 5, 2010)

I know cherrypie is joking but I reckon if two people who are a little fraught with each other can confer the blessing of sleep in such a sensual way then that's real progress! And that underlines the real versatility of massage - it's like being able to play a piece of music in countless different ways. Not all of them have to result in love-making but love-making will be deepened, more assured, and imagination enriched from learning this profound language of touch. OP, go and buy a big bucket of the most fragrant oil


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

It realy depends our mood...

quiet romantic mood I put on the soft music light the candle and warm the massage oil. I call her into the bedroom so she can see I have done all the preperation and have been thinking about turning this night into making her feel wanted and desired. I move slowly and kiss my way all over her body. My hands caress and rub massage oil into her back hips and buttocks. My goal is to get her to relax before getting her turned on.


Hot and spicy mood I drag her into the bedroom and have ropes to tie her down. We have had some very hot wrestling matches over getting her tied up but I always win and she ends up tied eagle on the bed. I blindfold her so she has no idea what will be next. Sometimes I take hot tea in my mouth and proceed to eat her with the hottest mouth she had ever felt all over her. If you have not done this you dont know what your missing. It feels incredible to have this super hot mouth all over your body. there woud be long pauses between the kisses and touches so she had no idea what or where I would touch next. Suspense always seems to highten desire! When she is tied and helpless I love to whisper in her ear all the hot thoughts that are running through my mind. Being she is tied and helpless she has no choice to to think and wonder what those things would be like if I did it to her. 

Many times I bring her to the edge but I wont allow her to cross. I want her close a few times so she begs to go over.

After 3-4 times it time to let her get the relief her body wants so badly. That when I attack all her wants and desires till she is comes again and again and since she is helpless she can not stop and turn away. I enjoy trying to give her a muliti orgasm. So much fun.


The last thing that really is fun and very hard to do is the eyes wide open orgasm. To be looking right into her eyes when you go over the edge. So wonderful to be connected to her as your going over the edge.


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## RichTeller62 (Jun 8, 2010)

My girlfriend was always a fan of the touching around the hot spots as well starting with light touches, scratching of the fingernails and moving on to light caressing using the tongue and using your hot breath in between the legs on the inner thighs.
Quite the reaction!


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## Christie (Jun 27, 2010)

I really enjoy it when my husband does things throughout the day to build anticipation. It warms me up for later advances, without pressure. Like when he notices my appearance - and more importantly - tells me so! I love it when he comes up behind me and gently reaches his fingers up the base of my hairline, followed by an oh-so-gentle tug. Like a threat of pulling hair, but not quite. Meanwhile he kisses my neck and whispers in my ear how hot I look. He lingers for a few more seconds and then backs off, leaving me hungry for more, later. I really respect what you guys are doing for your relationship. Have fun with it, and good luck! : )


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