# Should I..



## DesertRose (Jan 20, 2012)

Hi,

I'm happy that I found this forum and I hope you have time to give me abit of advise
I'm confused,sad because of a situation I'm in..I'll try to make it not too long.

I'm married for almost 8 years now..I married when I was 16 I was quite mature for my age,used to responsibility etc..I did my best to be a loving/caring wife and make my husband happy..but it was never good enough..he was quite depressed because of other things but he would always take it out on me..for example if I forgot something he asked me to do for him..he would say things like 'ur useless,dumb etc..he would ignore me,yell at me.
this used to happen 4 times a week..I used to be very confident,happy person but because of the insults and the feeling I was never good enough I became insecure,sad..This continued for 5 years..I never told anyone because I thought ' I'm the one who got in this marriage so I should make the best out of it and not complain'..and I didn't want anyone to think bad about him..because generally he is a good person..but he has anger issues.
and often I would think maybe he's right..maybe I can't do anything right. 

Because of what happened in my first 5 years of marriage..my heart was broken..because I never thought that the person I would marry would treat me this way. Because I always try to treat others how I want to be treated.
2 years ago I said I couldn't live like this anymore..because I couldn't love him anymore because of everything what happened..he cried and asked me to forgive him..I forgave him because I didn't want to see him hurt..and because of our kids.
and I really tried for the past 2 years to love him..I treated him good etc..and acted as if I love him..he still has his issues sometimes but less..but now I just realize that I can't love him anymore..I can't be myself because I'm always afraid I will be hurt like the first 5 years.

So now maybe I think it's time for me to get a divorce..but at the same time I'm afraid to hurt him and the kids..because they love their father.And my parents will be upset because culturally it's a shame to be divorced at age of 24. And the other issue is I didn't finish my college..I'm a SAHM..so I have no income if I would get divorced now.

sorry for my long rant..thanks


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

First of all you say you have no choice since you have no income.
Then you say he is improving. As long you think divorce is an option he will never have improved to your satisfaction.
You must put more into it and give him the chance.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

You're only 24, right? That's really still very young.

One of the things you should do immediately is finish your college schooling. Go into a field that is practical. Your goal should be self-sufficiency for yourself and your children.

Is he the same age as you? Or older?


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## DesertRose (Jan 20, 2012)

accept said:


> First of all you say you have no choice since you have no income.
> Then you say he is improving. As long you think divorce is an option he will never have improved to your satisfaction.
> You must put more into it and give him the chance.


ty for your reply maybe you are right I should give him a chance


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## DesertRose (Jan 20, 2012)

aug said:


> You're only 24, right? That's really still very young.
> 
> One of the things you should do immediately is finish your college schooling. Go into a field that is practical. Your goal should be self-sufficiency for yourself and your children.
> 
> Is he the same age as you? Or older?


ty for your reply..yes I turned 24 last month my husband is 30 
My husband doesn't want me to attend college because he wants me to stay at home with the kids.


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