# Sexless Marriage



## feeling lost (Oct 17, 2009)

I am 60 now, and for at least the past fourteen years have had no sex at all. I do mean not at all. I have dicussed my needs with her often enough but with no luck. Therapists have been a waste of time and money!

She says she loves me, but I just don't feel it when there is no emotional contact.

She had an affair around fourteen years ago, but before that sex was as scanty as once a year [if lucky]. She said sex was painfull yet she had regular sex with someone else [very close] for a year and a half. 

She says she is dry and sex is painfull.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Have you tried a water based lubercation like ky? I'm half her age and I use whether I need it or not. 

Maybe she needs to see her doctor. I'm not 60 yet and have not gone through menopause. I have no idea if menopause changes anything. I'd still make a trip to the doctor, especially if she is still interested in sex.

I'm sorry about the affair. On the other hand, I wonder if she is making excuses to you for not having sex. Maybe more foreplay needs to get her in the mood, to prevent dryness?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

For over 14 years, you have tolerated this abuse, validating in her mind that she can treat you with disrespect without any adverse consequences. Why should she change her behavior? Regardless of how she treats you, she still gets to enjoy the benefits of marriage.


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

Have you tried asking her to use dilators. They dont cost much and can work wonders. Insist on it. Otherwise get a divorce.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

It seems clear that she doesn't have a problem with sex, she only has a problem with sex with you. I'm sorry.

You have to decide whether to tolerate that or not. If you will, then you are welcome to come vent on the boards. But you should make it clear that you will tolerate this and you're just blowing off steam. That's your right and most of us will respect your decision.

If you won't tolerate it, then you have to make that clear to her. Short-term, you should critically evaluate yourself and your relationship. Embark on a program to improve yourself and your relationship. It's possible that you can make yourself attractive enough that your wife will want sex with you. If not, at least you will be more attractive to other women when you are looking for a new relationship. If your wife won't respond positively to you, then you have to tell her that you're on your way out the door. She may respond to that. If not, you can find someone else to meet your needs.

Good luck.


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## feeling lost (Oct 17, 2009)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Have you tried a water based lubercation like ky? I'm half her age and I use whether I need it or not.
> 
> Maybe she needs to see her doctor. I'm not 60 yet and have not gone through menopause. I have no idea if menopause changes anything. I'd still make a trip to the doctor, especially if she is still interested in sex.
> 
> ...


She has used KY and other lubricants but she says that penetration hurts. Not that I have luck with that!


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## feeling lost (Oct 17, 2009)

I have suggested something of that sort.

She bought a Vibrator. It is like so large, small wonder it won't go in!


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

feeling lost said:


> I have suggested something of that sort.
> 
> She bought a Vibrator. It is like so large, small wonder it won't go in!


They come in all sizes, even though it is a great temptation to get the biggest one with all the bells and whistles  I'd say she should have opted for one of the mini vibrators and maybe work her way up. I'm also wondering if she has ever seen a doctor about the pain? It sounds like the problem may be more than just a little dryness. If KY didn't take care of it there may be something physically wrong. :scratchhead:


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

have you ever actually confirned that she is dry?

i am just confounded as to why sex with someone else didnt seem to bother her while sex with you is off the table becasue she is dry and it hurts.


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## dyskinesia (Jun 29, 2010)

Is her mouth dry too?


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

PHTlump said:


> It seems clear that she doesn't have a problem with sex, she only has a problem with sex with you. I'm sorry.





dyskinesia said:


> Is her mouth dry too?


If PHTlump is right (and I wouldn't bet against him on this), what would it matter?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

dyskinesia said:


> Is her mouth dry too?


Hey, juicy lube makes a great tasty minty lube that doesn't taste too bad for dryness of the mouth. . Why not suggest that? If I can give hubby bj's with a major neck injury, your wife should be able to at least do this for you. 

I do agree with the others, it's not very nice of her to withhold out from you. I'm guessing she's using this as an excuse. Maybe a sex therapist would help. Although, I've read it can be painful for some women. Maybe your manhood is a little to large for her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"Not very nice"? It's abusive, exploitative, fraud, and downright evil. Perpetrators of such deserve to stew in a crockpot in hades. It would be more merciful for her to put a bullet between his eyes or to castrate him outright.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Unbelievable,
Are you really going to stay with your wife and just continue to carry around this supertanker full of anger?




OTE=unbelievable;501379]"Not very nice"? It's abusive, exploitative, fraud, and downright evil. Perpetrators of such deserve to stew in a crockpot in hades. It would be more merciful for her to put a bullet between his eyes or to castrate him outright.[/QUOTE]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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