# Sex in relationship



## flrni (Apr 6, 2017)

*Sex in marriage*

So Im new to this platform and I would like to say hello to you guys! 

I'm 24 years old and I think Iam in the wrong chat for this but I give it a try. I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend since 2 months and she never wants to have sex with me. I don't know what to do, everytime I ask her why she tells me "because of your penis" how to interpret that? Thanks


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

*Re: Sex in marriage*

Too large? Too small? Personal hygiene issues? Your insistence in referring to it as "womb raider" when presenting it to her? 

Gonna need more details than just "it's your penis"


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## megamuppet (Feb 13, 2017)

You need to ask her. It is too big or too wide, or is it a bit odd looking? As a woman those are the things that would put me off.

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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

flrni said:


> So Im new to this platform and I would like to say hello to you guys!
> 
> I'm 24 years old and I think Iam in the wrong chat for this but I give it a try. I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend since 2 months and she never wants to have sex with me. I don't know what to do, everytime I ask her why she tells me "because of your penis" how to interpret that? Thanks
> 
> ...


Has she had sex with her previous boyfriends and have you had sex with previous girlfriends.If she is a virgin then she may be nervous but if you had sex with previous girlfriends then she has a problem and rather than waste time in therapy I would move on.


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## flrni (Apr 6, 2017)

I asked her many times and she always starts looking a bit ashamed so I don't know what she thinks if it's to big or to small. 


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## megamuppet (Feb 13, 2017)

Smallness doesnt matter, it really is what you do with it. Largeness is a different issue. It can be very painful and uncomfortable if it is too big. If it is a funny shape / bent it can also be uncomfortable. 

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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

2 months in and you're already having issues with sex. 

Cut ties with her and don't look back. 

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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

*Re: Sex in marriage*



flrni said:


> everytime I ask her why she tells me "because of your penis" how to interpret that? Thanks


So if you have only been in this relationship for two months, there is a multitude of reasons that she may be concerned about your penis. Here are a few random guesses which may or may not have anything to do with your current situation:


What form of birth control have the two of you discussed?
Has she had a negative experience in a previous relationship?
Does she have a strict moral code of conduct that forbids premarital sex in her religion? 
Do you practice good hygiene?
Are you sure she is your girlfriend and not just a plutonic friend with snuggly benefits? 

I could go on and on, but as another person mentioned, you may have to give us a little more information or else we just kind of have to guess.

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

*Re: Sex in marriage*

IDK, two months in and she has no interest in having sex with you, move on ...


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

*Re: Sex in marriage*

Because "of" your penis, or because "you have" a penis? Closet lesbian, perhaps? Anyway, it doesn't matter, unless she can give you a reasonable and acceptable explanation that also includes a way to fix whatever the issue really is. If she can't, then simply split up.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

*Re: Sex in marriage*



Married but Happy said:


> Because "of" your penis, or *because "you have" a penis? Closet lesbian, perhaps?* Anyway, it doesn't matter, unless she can give you a reasonable and acceptable explanation that also includes a way to fix whatever the issue really is. If she can't, then simply split up.


Lol, didn't think of the bolded. Maybe she is being that literal!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

*Re: Sex in marriage*

She doesn't like the way you penetrate her. Too hard, too softy, too soon, too late.

If you can have sex with someone you can talk about sex with that person so ask her!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Sex in marriage*

If she can't communicate with you, you need to move on. Nothing good will come from a relationship with someone who tells you that there is a problem but won't tell you what that problem is.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

I would ask her again what she meant by what she said. Tell her that there's nothing to be ashamed of, but that you need to know what she means. Once you have the answer, I would go from there. It could be that she's a virgin and is scared to have sex; that's understandable. If she's not a virgin, but has issues around this subject, I would probably cut ties, and move on.


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## stixx (Mar 20, 2017)

megamuppet said:


> Smallness doesnt matter


Of COURSE it matters.


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## megamuppet (Feb 13, 2017)

It really doesn't! I think its only men who get hung up on that. Most women don't care, its what you do with it that matters. 

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## stixx (Mar 20, 2017)

Of course it matters.

"I never thought size mattered until I was with someone with a HUGE penis and having sex became unbearable. Since then I've felt that size really makes a difference."

"For me, it definitely matters. I've found that I much prefer larger guys"

"Matters. Not too small or not too big ― kind of like a perfect scoop of Hagen Daz ice cream.Too small-still hungry, too big-tummy ache."

"It depends on what the person is looking for. Looking for fun? GO BIG! Looking for love then COMPROMISE!"

"Sorry to anyone who wants to believe otherwise but, yes, size does matter. A small penis can't create the same sensation that a larger one can,"

More here:

Women Discuss Penis Size - AskMen

https://www.bustle.com/articles/107714-25-women-share-their-thoughts-on-whether-penis-size-matters


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## stixx (Mar 20, 2017)

flrni said:


> I don't know what she thinks if it's to big or to small.


Sure you do.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

flrni said:


> I asked her many times and she always starts looking a bit ashamed so I don't know what she thinks if it's to big or to small.


Seriously? 

I assume you have looked closely at it yourself. 

Depending upon the country you live in (born in or family religion) there should be percentage of men circumcised information you could Google. Similarly, there are statistics for penis size so you can figure where on the "bell-shaped curve you fall. Then you can look at it and see if it has stranger color combinations or unusual curvature.

So if you don't know, you should be able to guess at the likely reason, unless you are in self-denial.

Then armed with that, you should sit your GF down (not in the bedroom) and ask her if what you suspect is the reason is indeed the reason. I assume you know the difference.

See what she says, it might be totally something else, but then you will know. If she can't explain it to you, then explain to her, that while you would like to take your relationship to a closer more intimate level, you can't see that happening unless she can accept you and all your body parts as they are.

Good luck.

P.S. I am wondering if there might be a troll having some fun with us, but will play it serious for a while.


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## Ol'Pal (Aug 24, 2015)

dump her and move on. No point dealing with that crap. Who cares what she actually means.


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## AtMyEnd (Feb 20, 2017)

Have you ever had any type of sex with her over the last 2 months, oral, masturbated each other, anything?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Time for a little "Come to Jesus Meeting" and make her dispel specifics! 

And if, for some reason she cannot, then it's time for you to up and move on! You absolutely do not deserve to be treated by her that way!*


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

stixx said:


> Of course it matters.
> 
> "I never thought size mattered until I was with someone with a HUGE penis and having sex became unbearable. Since then I've felt that size really makes a difference."
> 
> ...


What this omits is that women also come in different sizes. What might be a too big or too small penis for one woman could be just right for another. So don't be hard on yourself if one woman dislikes your penis. Just keep trying different ones on for size!

As for the poster at hand, if you can't talk to your girlfriend openly about sex, you two shouldn't be trying to have any. If she can't explain what she means about your penis, she's not ready for a sexual relationship. Or, if you're afraid to ask her, same goes for you.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

flrni said:


> I'm 24 years old and I think Iam in the wrong chat for this but I give it a try. I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend since 2 months and she never wants to have sex with me. I don't know what to do, everytime I ask her why she tells me "because of your penis" how to interpret that? Thanks


I guess she doesn't like penises. Have it removed and then approach her again to see if my guess was right.


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## stixx (Mar 20, 2017)

Steve1000 said:


> I guess she doesn't like penises. Have it removed and then approach her again to see if my guess was right.


What if you're wrong?


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

stixx said:


> What if you're wrong?


Then I will have an answer for my wife when she asks "Did you learn anything new today?"


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## stixx (Mar 20, 2017)

I guess that's something then.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

I guess everyone is being polite. I'm gonna ask it. How long and thick are you, OP? You're anonymous so it won't matter if you say. You don't have too though. I heard 5-6" is the average size from a Times article I think.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Sex in marriage*

Since I have answered the OP's question once already on another part of this forum, I will refer him to that post of mine.

For others that want to see all the other comments made to the same question it can be found over here.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/374793-sex-relationship.html

OP, you really should only post the same question on one part of the forum and not multiple sections.

Good luck.

P.S. I am sure you know the answer to her aversion.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Re: Sex in marriage*



flrni said:


> So Im new to this platform and I would like to say hello to you guys!
> 
> I'm 24 years old and I think Iam in the wrong chat for this but I give it a try. I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend since 2 months and she never wants to have sex with me. I don't know what to do, everytime I ask her why she tells me "because of your penis" how to interpret that? Thanks



Have you had sex with her before? If so, how did she react to that?

Have you asked her what she means? If so what does she say?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@flrni

You had two threads on this topic. So I merged them. You will get better input with just on thread.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

flrni said:


> I asked her many times and she always starts looking a bit ashamed so I don't know what she thinks if it's to big or to small.


It sounds like you ask, she will not really answer so you just let it go. You have to push the issue with her. 

For example:

"That's not a good enough answer. You need to tell me exactly what the problem is, in detail."

Then if she will not tell you, you need to break up with her and go find someone else. A person who will not communicate effectively is not a good choice in a mate.

The purpose of dating is to find out if a person is a good match for a long term relationship. If she cannot/will not communicate problems to you and work on solutions then she is not worth your time and effort. She's not a good match for anyone, much less you. So move on.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Are you circumcised or uncircumcised OP? Could be that?

Are you smaller/larger than average? Could be that.

Is she a virgin and scared? Could be that.

Do you have poor personal hygiene? Could be that.

The only way you will know exactly what her problem is, is if you ask her to tell you exactly what it is. If she won't, then end it and move on.


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## m00nman (Nov 29, 2014)

Two months in and she doesn't want to have sex? How is this a marriage issue? You're obviously reading too much into this relationship and her discomfort is from being pressured. She's just not that into you anymore, either from you forcing yourself on her or her friends and family having talked some sense into her for putting out so soon. Sorry. Move on.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I'm just going to eat my popcorn and sit this one out. I will say however, that the shelter-in-place rule must be horribly boring for some folks.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

This is a zombie thread, though. Why do new registered users keep pulling up and responding to threads that are years old?


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

Because at the bottom of each page there are suggested threads for the reader to look at. Most of those suggested threads are from years ago.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Thread closed


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