# Planning separation in 2016



## lonely4comp (Dec 10, 2015)

I've actually been planning my separation...hanging in there to get finances straight and hopefully our house sold in 2016. When that happens I'm hoping to get half of the profit and move on. He doesn't know it yet, but it is secretly my plan. I love him as a person, but I am very very lonely. he is gone all the time and when he is here he only wants sex. Never a date or snuggle time, etc. I feel lost.:crying:


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Before you pull any switches, read the book His Needs Her Needs. Then come back and tell us what you've figured out.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

How much profit we talking about? I'm totally hot!! Ha
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Does he know this? Have you made any overtures to him about how you feel? How long have you been married? Any kids?
How does he treat you other than not being around? Is he away for work? 

Remember men need sex to get close and women are vice versa, maybe he doesn't know how to express himself.


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## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

The situation is very sad, but have you brought this to his attention? I think you deserve to know how he feels about the situation. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## header (Nov 14, 2015)

Maybe share this with him. 

That's not a secret you really want to keep. 

Give him the opportunity to make it right. People get lazy.


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## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

I really hope that you aren't just giving up. Please make sure you really put in a hard effort before you just throw in the towel.


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## Imovedforthis (Dec 18, 2015)

How long have you been together? 

Have you given him any warning before or ever? How are you going to sale the house without him knowing?


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

lonely4comp said:


> I've actually been planning my separation...hanging in there to get finances straight and hopefully our house sold in 2016. When that happens I'm hoping to get half of the profit and move on. He doesn't know it yet, but it is secretly my plan. I love him as a person, but I am very very lonely. he is gone all the time and when he is here he only wants sex. Never a date or snuggle time, etc. I feel lost.:crying:


I know how you feel. My husband is gone a lot, and he used to be insensitive to my needs when he was home, although he was trying to be nice to me by doing things "he" thought mattered to me.

He listened to His Needs Her Needs and a few other books because he knew I was done. Those books were a real wake-up call for him, and for the first time in 25 years, he is actually changing.

Read the book yourself, and then ask your husband to read it before you pull the plug on your marriage: especially since you love him. He might just be unaware of the differences and core needs of men and women, and be in need of some enlightenment.


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

Is it possible for you two to go into marriage counseling and mend things? Is he gone all of the time and working? I would have a chat with him about how you feel and if he doesn't want to help fix things or go to counseling then separation may be inevitable. Marriage can have their rocky moments but if he legitimately cares and loves you..wants to be with you..express your concerns and maybe things can get better. Good luck with everything!


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## Joey2k (Oct 3, 2014)

lonely4comp said:


> I've actually been planning my separation...hanging in there to get finances straight and hopefully our house sold in 2016. When that happens I'm hoping to get half of the profit and move on. He doesn't know it yet, but it is secretly my plan. I love him as a person, but I am very very lonely. he is gone all the time and when he is here he only wants sex. Never a date or snuggle time, etc. I feel lost.:crying:


You sound like you could be my wife, only substitute "talking" and "communication" for "snuggle", as she shows little to no interest in most attempts at any physical affection. 

What happens when he tries to have sex? Do you habitually turn him down and reject him when he comes on to you. If so, it's understandable, as you aren't getting your needs met. But do you have any idea how insulting and humiliating it is for someone who places a high value on sex and affection to be continually rejected by their partner? If he feels humiliated and hurt by you like that on a regular basis, can you understand why he might not be enthusiastic about reaching out to you and spending time with you?


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