# Anyone got through this WITHOUT professional help ???



## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

My husband of almost 11 years divorced me January 2010 because (my opinion) he hit a midlife crisis and had an EA of FB (45 yrs. old) paired with PTSD (24 years in military and now police force) and depression (confirmed by him)....

When the final divorce papers came to the house, he asked me to reconcile....I was happy, because I love him and never wanted the divorce....

We had a LOT of ups and downs since.....loss of my mother....him unable to deal with my resentment toward him.....then things got better....then I accidentally got pregnant (PCOS and birth control pill, but this baby still made it)....he gets nasty about it, says we never were reconciling.....then things get better again (change of heart ??).....then his mom passes and things get bad again.....

Did any of you survive this without professional/medical help or is it useless ???

He won't go see a doctor and will NOT get medication (he says he's a cop and can't take it !!!)....he's too stubborn....

Is there any advice as to what I can do to help him overcome this and us have a chance to reconcile ???

He does say he still loves me, but I know the issues with him and the money issues I have (part of his reason he wanted a divorce) are keeping him from trying to work this out.....

HELP !!!

I'm desperate....I love him (still)....he's not a bad guy...he's just lost right now and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.....


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

You just wrote my story. I believe my husband is going through some mid-life stuff (he's 49), all down to the fb shenanigans you wrote about, the circumstances are the same here. My husband will deny until the day that he dies that he depressed or at least going through something. He will never go see a doctor and most definitely won't take meds. So here we are, separated after 23 years of marriage and on our way to divorce. The funny thing is, I'm the one who has suffered with depression all of my life and feel that a majority of our problems stemmed from my depression, but I've also been trying to get help for it. 

I think men are so different when it comes to taking care of themselves. Unless it's causing them extreme physical pain, they tend to ignore things, hoping that they'll get better on their own. It's only when they find themselves alone that they MIGHT realize "hey, maybe I do have a problem".


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