# Confused & Angry



## kwillis1 (Mar 28, 2012)

Husband & I have been married for one year today(8/13). This first year was pretty rocky. The financial hardships he brought with him into our marriage nearly tore us apart(He owes $5,000 in back taxes he never filed & $600 in back medical bills & had a lien on his wages once already).​
I'm a full-time student and knowingly accruing student loan debt, I have a plan for getting the career I want when I finish my 2 Bachelor's degree.(Currently have an Associate's in Liberal Arts). Lots of doors will open for me when I get done school. ​
During this last year I brought in $1,000(working multiple part time jobs) less into our household than he did working fulltime and it's still not enough. His wild spending habits and debt put a serious strain on our marriage. In this first year of marriage we have seperated(he moved out) twice.The day he left (both times) he cleaned out our bank account which included money from my paychecks. I was left to come up with $1400 both times in about a week to pay for bills & rent he stuck me with. While he was gone, instead of thinking about our marriage he setup multiple profiles on an internet dating site advertising himself as "single". On Facebook he changed his status to "it's complicated". Needless to say, I was quite upset about this. In my mind, married couples sometimes have issues. You work through your problems & get on with your life. I'm upset because this is our anniversary & last night I had to ask him to do something about advertising himself as single or available. ​
I don't want to have to file for divorce, I think he's capable of being a decent husband. For a year I've felt like I'm the only one fighting for our future (getting an education, paying off old debts, etc). I was also extremely hurt when I found out he had given me an STD(treatable) when he lied about being tested. I got extremely sick from it, to the point where I will struggle for many years to come due to the side effects. I now have PCOD(polycystic ovarian disease) & had to be treated for PID(pelvic inflammatory disease). ​
I have good options if I do file for divorce. I have a roommate ready to move in to help me with bills while I still go to school, parents willing to help financially, etc. I want to save my marriage, but at the same time I'm not sure if it's worth it. He takes multiple types of medicine to help him deal with his anger & anxiety. Even with his medicine he's still a prick(not physically abuse) but he is emotionally & physically disconnected. Should I wait and see what another year brings?​


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## Enough_Is_Enough (Aug 10, 2009)

You've been through so much and I'm sorry!!

I say, if you still love him, then try again.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

Oh, lordy.

He was in debt when you married. Since you have married he continues to be reckless with money. He has twice cleaned out the bank account and left you to handle the bills. He has lied to you. He has been sexually promiscuous and given you an STD.

This man is violently waving a whole bunch of red flags in your face. He lies, he cheats, he steals, he ignores your physical safety. He is demonstrating an incredible lack of respect for his wife. 

Do not ignore this behavior. This is bad, bad stuff, and the chances are very much against him improving. 

I cannot tell you what to do, but if it were me, I'd be outta there. Do not include this man in your future. He'll ruin it.


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## Jack Butler (Aug 13, 2012)

DUMP HIS A$$!!!!! Sorry you got a rotten one there. You will end up supporting a no good guy who will get you pregnant and only be a crappy no good father!!!

It happens, sometimes marriage is the only way to find out how dark the other persons soul is.

I'm a dude and in total agreement with solitudeseeker!!


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## bluelaser (May 26, 2012)

This is what i see about your spouse -



kwillis1 said:


> He owes $5,000 in back taxes he never filed & $600 in back medical bills & had a lien on his wages once already
> 
> His wild spending habits and debt put a serious strain on our marriage.


Fiscally Irresponsible ~



kwillis1 said:


> The day he left (both times) he cleaned out our bank account which included money from my paychecks.I was left to come up with $1400 both times in about a week to pay for bills & rent he stuck me with.


 Unpredictable, unreliable & a thief ~



kwillis1 said:


> he setup multiple profiles on an internet dating site advertising himself as "single". On Facebook he changed his status to "it's complicated".
> 
> I was also extremely hurt when I found out he had given me an STD(treatable) when he lied about being tested.


Cheats on you with who knows what kind of women ~



kwillis1 said:


> I want to save my marriage


Why?  (Unless he is some kind of tiger in bed ... well even then i think it isn't worth the grief)



kwillis1 said:


> Should I wait and see what another year brings?


You don't have to wait, i can tell you right now what the new year will bring if you get back together with him-
Infidelity
Financial hardship
More STDs
..... in short more of the same


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

That is a Tammy Wynette song. Send his ass packing.


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