# Same song and dance..



## No Time No Gain (Apr 1, 2013)

Well, here i am, facing something i really did not expect...

my wife and i are in the "separation" process of things, so for the back story i guess.. me and my wife are coming up on our 3 year anniversary, there has been ups and downs in our relationship, but nothing we have not worked through, but most recently, me and my wife have separated.. the day of said separation, we was joking around having fun, being playful, and then her mom texts her asking to get 1 of our 2 children (1 is 3 the other is 1), my wife did not want to because it was going to be easter soon, and she wanted all kids with us.. well her mom threw a fit (yes like a child) so i said to my wife, see this is why its hard for me to like your mom... well day went on, and her mom messaged me, told me to tell my wife she is sorry, i was getting my kids a drink so didnt get the text, and her mom ofcourse flipped out on me....


So i did end up sending a text back, saying chill out, i was getting the kids a drink, and i will... well, my wife decides to call her dad, and tell them they can have the kids for the day, but not spend the night, i said i would prefer they stay here, and that made my wife upset, she went ahead and called her dad still, and i said well, im glad my opinion doesnt matter, and she walked back to the dishes... she was mad, so i tried to talk to her, but she wouldnt say a word to me.. so i told her, im leaving ill be back, well i come back home, to my wife putting stuff together, and telling me shes leaving, at this point im furious, i ask her why shes leaving, and i get no response, well just a month ago, she left me for the day because of an arguement, and when she came back, i made the ground rule, that she needs to talk to me, and open up and not just bail like that..

She promised, so her breaking that made me even more furious, so i punched my fridge, and did the whole, try to get her to stay and talk to me thing.. well her mom ended up coming to pick her up, and i blamed her mom for all this, because we was just fine until her mom threw that tantrum and all that, so i blew up and yelled at her mom.... So now her parents say i have anger problems, and need some serious help (yeah i blew up when i should of kept my calm, but i dont know many people who would not be angry), and she says she is terrified of me, and dont know if she can trust me again... i tried to get her to talk to me all day that day, then gave up... well shes talking to me now, saying she loves me still but i need to get help before she thinks about coming back...

Im at the biggest loss of my life on this, i need help because i got mad because my wife wants to leave, and now shes got her entire family pushing her for a divorce.... i really am not sure what to do, im giving space, talking when she talks to me, the problem is so simple, but obviously to her its not... yeah i can be kind of a **** and distant, but i do show random spurt of romance... so its really hard for me to decide what to do... she doesnt know if she wants to be with me, but shes worried i might give up on her or cheat on her... am i just having a hard time finding the logic in this?


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

No Time No Gain said:


> Well, here i am, facing something i really did not expect...
> 
> my wife and i are in the "separation" process of things, so for the back story i guess.. me and my wife are coming up on our 3 year anniversary, there has been ups and downs in our relationship, but nothing we have not worked through, but most recently, me and my wife have separated.. the day of said separation, we was joking around having fun, being playful, and then her mom texts her asking to get 1 of our 2 children (1 is 3 the other is 1), my wife did not want to because it was going to be easter soon, and she wanted all kids with us.. well her mom threw a fit (yes like a child) so i said to my wife, see this is why its hard for me to like your mom... well day went on, and her mom messaged me, told me to tell my wife she is sorry, i was getting my kids a drink so didnt get the text, and her mom ofcourse flipped out on me....
> 
> ...


Sounds like a few people here need some counselling. 

Is punching things part of your normal reaction to stress and anger? If so, then your wife’s family is correct. You have an anger problems. 

Its okay to get angry. Its not okay to take that anger out on your environment. Yes, punching the fridge is better than punching her, but it is not a healthy reaction way to handle anger. If this is a typical response for you, then it is no wonder your wife is afraid of you and I suggest you seek counselling.


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