# Help with cuckold fetish



## navypop (Dec 28, 2015)

Hello!

This is my first time posting, but I have lurked a bit here and there!

My husband and I have only been married a year. Let me explain the story:

Unfortunately most of the women my husband were with prior to me cheated on him. The most egregious was his college girlfriend who he really loved and sacrificed for. She cheated the same day that he turned down a great opportunity for work in a different country. He described having sex with her after that as really intoxicating. Anyways, their relationship ended, he moved country and met me.

He's very into the cuckold fetish now. I was with a number of men prior to my husband, and initially I thought it was just good fun talking about those experiences. He got really into the idea of me being a hot wife. He loved when I told him about bigger ****s and what I wanted to do with them. He pleaded for me to call others names, etc. I obliged because he was so turned on by it but really this did nothing for me. He wanted me to join a dating site, or make videos online, and some day meet a man in person. I said no to all of these things.

The cuckold talk died down in the summer time when I saw a Tumblr page he was looking at and I remarked that he looked like gay porn. Not only did the cuckold talk die down, but so did sex period.

A couple months ago I noticed my husband being really weird on the computer, and clicked out of pages quickly when I came by. I asked him what was up and he claimed nothing, but I had seen what he was looking at so I quickly looked at it myself. It was a forum post on his home country forum. The question was about being friends with an ex. He essentially wrote that it's nice to be friends with exes and but with one in particular the elephant in the room was how attracted he still was to her. This is OK in a microscope I guess, but I looked up on the forum and the posting above was his ex college girlfriend. He had specifically responded to the post so she would see it. That was a bit much for me. I should add that while I was looking at the page, he had changed his post to leave out the bit about how attracted he was to her. I happened to load it before the change hit.

This led to a pretty massive fight. We talked about his sexuality. He looks at a lot of heteroflexible porn, but claims it feeds into the cuckold fetish. I think he's more bi sexual leaning, because when he wants me to talk about other men he gets the hardest when I talk about their ****s, and the way he reacts just seems to me that he's really fantasizing about men more than a once off type of thing.

Anyways, overall I'm just a bit at a loss as how to approach this with him. There are a few things I'm concerned about:

-- This weekend he made an off hand comment during a conversation that I found odd. I later looked at that ex girlfriend's forum posts and she made the same comment last week. It would be too much to be a coincidence. This tells me he's still checking up on her despite telling me he doesn't know why he made that post. Do I mention it? Let it go?
-- If he is more bi-sexual leaning, am I going to be enough? I don't feel like I'm satisfying him sexually as it is as I don't want to fulfill his fetish.
-- I'm very turned off by his cuckold fetish. In fact it makes my stomach turn. I don't want to have sex with someone else.

How do I proceed?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

There are better , safer, ways to feel naughty and seek thrills. He is walking in dangerous paths. Fetish is a thing that doesn't tend to go away. I would work at turning this in a direction that you do like. 

I love the fact that you are a Faithful type girl with a varied background. It really gives me hope for my belief that most people like to be faithful. 

Yes talk to him about boundaries again. Yes suggest getting a counselor involved. He is engaging in behavior that endangers the relationship. He values the relationship but his addiction is leading him to losing it.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Mr. Nail said:


> There are better , safer, ways to feel naughty and seek thrills. He is walking in dangerous paths. Fetish is a thing that doesn't tend to go away. I would work at turning this in a direction that you do like.
> 
> I love the fact that you are a Faithful type girl with a varied background. It really gives me hope for my belief that most people like to be faithful.
> 
> Yes talk to him about boundaries again. Yes suggest getting a counselor involved. He is engaging in behavior that endangers the relationship. He values the relationship but his addiction is leading him to losing it.


Buy an assortment of dildos of various sizes that can be used in a harness and penis enlargment sleaves. He can wear the sleaves and pretend to be a different guy doing you and then he can go in afterwards to feel like he is having sex after another man was with you. Then, you can use the dildos and wear a harness to peg him.

If that turns his crank, then problem solved. If he still wants to invite others into the marriage, then you either need to set him straight for good or divorce. 

Hope there aren't any kids in the marriage.


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## eric1 (Apr 10, 2015)

You are making very comfortable choices and communicating them well. He's probably having a minimum of a unhealthy obsession with his ex, maximum emotional affair. It's also very clear that he putting his kink about your own wishes. Edging himself with pornography probably isn't helping the matter terribly, either.

You have done nothing wrong.


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

I would most defintely have a talk about the fetish and things he asks of you, In which aren't comfortable for you. I would want to be participating in sexual acts that we both can enjoy. 

I do think if he keeps enjoying these kind of acts and you do not than yes, it can ultimately break the two of you apart. I wouldn't feel comfortable as well to live up to those expectations in the bedroom.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

navypop said:


> ....My husband and I have only *been married a yea*r. Let me explain the story:
> 
> Unfortunately *most of the women my husband were with prior to me cheated on him. *
> 
> ...


That is a lot for a year of marriage to handle, but you seem to be pretty special to him. First, if you get him to shut up about his feelings, desires, etc. He will hide a part of himself and his sex life from you, which is not good in a marriage.

You have every right to set sexual boundaries and negotiate them with him. I said negotiate, because it sounded like the girlfriends he choose in the past helped feed some of his cuckold fantasies.

I would guess that he isn't really bi-sexual, but that he does like some aspect of the cuckhold lifestyle. You, as his wife (assuming you want to stay his wife), should try to figure out what that aspect is and then see if you can incorporate it into your monogamous marriage. For example, for some being a cuckold may involve being humiliated by the wife. Or it could be being dominated by a wife and being submissive to her and her bull. To others it could be pimping her up and treating the wife as a wh**e, by finding F buddies for her. While none of those things are good for a marriage and mutual respect, you still might be able to play with some of them, because you have demonstrated to him that you can and have. 

If you want to change and keep your marriage healthy you and he will need to condition each other to a new lifestyle that makes both of you happy. If I were you, I would make small changes and be clear about what your new boundaries are and how you are willing to change. You may also want to do some introspection about new things you are willing to do that he might want to try. They could be pegging, chastity, clothed female/nude male, milking him, prostate play, post coital tongue clean-up of you or things he may associated with cuckolding, but that are within your boundaries. 

Remember you were the one that talked about other men and their penis size to him and played this mind game with him. He found the woman of his dreams in you, the woman who would feed his fantasies and now after a year of marriage you are saying no more. He may feel, rightly so, that a bait and switch has happened. 

My advice to you is to recognize that you have to some extent encouraged him and now that you are backing off he is looking into an ex-girlfriend who probably fed his fantasies before you were in his life. That is a really bad sign that you can't ignore. 

This is a serious situation for your marriage. Personally, you get to choose what you want to do with your life, if he is worth stretching yourself for, if you want to negotiate something that will make the both of you happy, or if you want to end the marriage.

I really don't get the whole cuckold attraction, but some men do like to be submissive, humiliated, etc. There are lot of dominatrixes out there that get paid big bucks to do disgusting things to men.

My advice to you is figure out what your boundaries are. Then tell him honestly that you may have done things to encourage his fanatsies that you are no longer comfortable with. You realize that in one sense it isn't fair to him to back away from what you were previously willing to do for him, but you have changed. Because you have changed, the two of you can try to work out some kind of compromises as to what you can do with him, but your marriage, your monogamous relationship, and your trust in him that he wouldn't cheat are on the line.

If you really love him figure out ways that you can find out what turns him on that you can live with. You can role play and do all kinds of extreme things. You can blindfold him and tie him on the bed, go into the living room and pretend to talk to a man and make noises like you are having sex with another man. Then you can open the bedroom door and say to the "pretend boyfriend" that this is your cuckold and then say good night to the pretend boyfriend and walk him out, open and close you main door, then come back to bedroom and tell your husband all about your date and ask him if he would like sloppy seconds or take a saved condom used previously by your H and use it to prove to him that another man has had you.

The brain is the largest sex organ and is easily tricked. If you are tired of the whole cuckold thing, as you say, and don't have the energy to figure out how to incorporate something else in your sex life, then your marriage is probably going to be on the rocks. In that case, spring for a sex therapist to help the two of you, they may be able to figure out a compromise that you can't.

Good luck. I wish you happiness.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

navypop said:


> Hello!
> 
> This is my first time posting, but I have lurked a bit here and there!
> 
> ...



Sounds like he has a lot of emotional baggage and issues that need addressing. He has been hurt many times and he will be sensitive and need time to heal. It won't be overnight.

He loves you enough to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you.


Right away, boundaries. 

- Sex only between the two of you
- no one else
- toys, strap on, oils, etc. all is fine


My worry is since he got screwed over so many times, he might cheat on you and with another guy? He might think this is normal?


If he is bent on having another man, move on.

If he cheats on you, move on.


He married you and only you. For better or worse, sickness and health, richer or poorer, etc.


When married, he is not his own anymore and your needs are now his and vice versa.

If he always liked and wanted men, then he should of been totally honest with you before he married you, instead of now.


It sounds like you truly love him but he doesn't truly love you.


If I would of told Mrs.CuddleBug, 1 to 2 years after we got married, I want another woman. The fact I would love to see another woman have sex with Mrs.CuddleBug while I have sex with her would drive me crazy. Mrs.CuddleBug would be sick to her stomach and file for divorce. I too was screwed over badly by my last ex girlfriend before I met Mrs.CuddleBug. But what I did was focus on work and weight training. I didn't date for many years and when I did meet Mrs.CuddleBug, I was ready at that point. My past stays there and I don't allow it to interfere with our marriage.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

navypop said:


> -- I'm very turned off by his cuckold fetish. In fact it makes my stomach turn. I don't want to have sex with someone else.
> 
> How do I proceed?


I have read a few blogs about this sort of thing because it made me scratch my head. In my personal opinion it comes across as if these men have fallen in love with porn and the only way to feel accepted is to somehow find a way to get porn to love them back, thus the hotwife/cuckold fetish as it culminates in the wife becoming a porn star for her husbands viewing entertainment, and then afterwards he gets to claim her and feel loved. ...just my opinion.

Ultimately men in these situations desire to be teased, which then evolves into tease and denial play. 

Awkwardly enough tease and denial is closely related to various forms of tantric sex that focus on extended periods of slow sex with heightened arousal while avoiding ejaculation for days. 

So here is a game you can play to overwhelm him while at the same time remaining in the boundaries of a healthy monogamous relationship. "Role play" a little and make up stories about your past sexual relationships. Create a fictitious ex-boyfriend that you have not told him about yet. Make up the stories in such a way that demonstrate to him HOW you want him to actually make love to you, but talk about it as if it were something that really happened in your past and you want him to reenact it out for you and that you are going to pretend for a while that he is this ex boyfriend. Incorporate "teasing and denial" into this role-play and explain that because he is not your actual ex boyfriend that he will not be allowed to have an orgasm. You can even go as far as to make him wear a condom because you do not want him to get to feel what your ex boyfriend would feel (this is tease and denial once again). Explain to your husband that if he plays along and does a good job that you will allow him to take the condom off, you can insert a lot of lube, and he can have a few seconds to experience "sloppy seconds" to have his orgasm. 

He will explode from the "teasing and denial."

After doing this a few times talk about "why" he enjoyed it and get him to understand that he just likes "tease and denial." Then you should be able to transition away from cuckold role playing and more towards wholesome tantric exploration with each other. 

Hope that helps, 
Badsanta


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

Fetishes are great if both partners are into the same one(s).

My ex was into B&D bordering on S&M. It was fine when it started out in the early days as him wanting me to wear sexy leather outfits and stiletto boots to bed once in a while, and even when a bit of bondage came into play. But it got weirder and darker - like dog collars and leashes, whips, and gags. It came to be the case that we couldn't just start making out and have one thing lead to another in an organic, natural way like I craved (and told him so) - it seemed he could only do it this way.

If you don't like the fetish, too, you shouldn't go through your life constantly playing a role that doesn't feel right and ring true for you just to keep the marriage together.

If I didn't have my son, I'd say I wish I'd left my ex about 20 years ago and found someone who actually valued me, instead of using me as a means to an end.


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

Nomorebeans said:


> Fetishes are great if both partners are into the same one(s).
> 
> My ex was into B&D bordering on S&M. It was fine when it started out in the early days as him wanting me to wear sexy leather outfits and stiletto boots to bed once in a while, and even when a bit of bondage came into play. But it got weirder and darker - like dog collars and leashes, whips, and gags. It came to be the case that we couldn't just start making out and have one thing lead to another in an organic, natural way like I craved (and told him so) - it seemed he could only do it this way.
> 
> ...



I completely agree, if you aren't liking the fetishes then you shouldn't go through an entire marriage to try to please him. It's entirely different if you both are on the same page sexually.. I wouldn't compromise my comfort or sexual style just to constantly please my husband.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

New_Beginnings said:


> I completely agree, if you aren't liking the fetishes then you shouldn't go through an entire marriage to try to please him. It's entirely different if you both are on the same page sexually.. I wouldn't compromise my comfort or sexual style just to constantly please my husband.


Sometimes marriage is all about negotiations and compromise.

David Schnarch in his books Passionate Marriage and the Crucible says that marriage is one of the hardest things two people can do, if done right. What he says is that two people grow and mature at different rates and so one is always pulling or pushing the other emotionally. So you are constantly struggling to renegotiate everything (sex, budgets, where to vacation, what to eat for dinner, etc.) during your entire relationship. 

I agree with you that you should be forced to violate any hard boundaries or ethical limits. However, to me "compromise" is a different word and may have a different meaning. To me compromise is what what does with someone you care about as you negotiate with them.


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

Young at Heart said:


> New_Beginnings said:
> 
> 
> > I completely agree, if you aren't liking the fetishes then you shouldn't go through an entire marriage to try to please him. It's entirely different if you both are on the same page sexually.. I wouldn't compromise my comfort or sexual style just to constantly please my husband.
> ...



I'm all for compromise but being told to speak about other men's ****'s and more than a dildo or play up role, that's not compromise. That's asking out of reach. If she wanted to talk about other men's johnsons ect.. She more than likely wouldn't have married, to be soley committed to one person. I could be wrong, that's personally how I would feel.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

My simple question is why ?

Why do you think you need to deal with all his sh!t ?

You are married one year. It seems you didn't date long either or you would have known this dating.. 

You are not into it and you are going to hope he will change ? 
Or that he will go to therapy and get fixed ?

This just really isn't worth it.. Trust me it just isn't...


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

Hardtohandle said:


> My simple question is why ?
> 
> Why do you think you need to deal with all his sh!t ?
> 
> ...



Me either, the suggestions on compromise or how to better suit his fetish is somewhat crazy to me. It was pretty obvious in her OP that she wasn't at all into his fetish and or style. 

I can't imagine having no interest or even close, compromising to something that doesn't feel natural at all. I'm horrible at talking dirty, I wouldn't do it because I'll sound like a robot. At least my husband is aware and doesn't hold it against me. 

Also his fetishes which have let him look in other places, including watching what his exGF is up to? Umm should she compromise with that too? The answer no. There's no respect and only reason he stopped with asking about certain things, is because he was caught stalking (I mean watching) his ex. Tumblr I also heard was a great place to meet up for hookups.. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my husband on that website, not showing interest in sex with me.


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## navypop (Dec 28, 2015)

Thank you all for your responses, it's given me a lot to think about. Key take aways for me:

1. What are my boundaries?
2. How will I outline them in such a way that I'm not attacking him... I feel like when I go over my boundaries I'm outlining exactly what he currently is seeking.
3. Figure out what exactly about the cuckold thing he likes. Even if it makes him uncomfortable, push to understand what exactly he wants from it... How can I fulfill those desires without going beyond my boundaries and not side stepping my own needs?
4. Tease and denial play could work well, thanks for the idea Bad Santa .


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

badsanta said:


> Awkwardly enough tease and denial is closely related to various forms of tantric sex that focus on extended periods of slow sex with heightened arousal while avoiding ejaculation for days.



Days??? Did you mean "minutes"?

Days...WHAAAAAAT?











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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

navypop said:


> Hello!
> 
> This is my first time posting, but I have lurked a bit here and there!
> 
> ...


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

Actually sounds like he's seeking emotional surrogacy.

He might have some latent bi-sexual tendencies, but unless he flips out for the toaster oven, shouldn't be too much of an issue - after all he's still White Knighting for an old gf.

Things you really should look at (IMO). 
Openness and transparency: this hiding stuff will destroy the relationship, and any future relationship he has - be prepared to deal will stuff you might not like or want to know, and to help him seek appropriate handling should matters that are unacceptable come out. And certainly if he keeps feeling like he has to hold back, then he can never be completely with you ...especially regarding "elephant in the room".

His Obsession: with the ex-gf and the **** lifestyle. First up a straight up "now we've got the day's small talk out of the way", tell him how his willingness to be non-exclusive bothers you, and most importantly tell him truthfully, why it does. Truth is a two way street...think you can really handle that? The real reason, the unsafe reason, not just the one you tell others and your gf's.

I'm thinking that his ex-roommate might have had her "college years". And thus been quite boundary pushing and unreserved, this includes ...at least in his mind, quite dominating. Those first few sexually powered memory tracks do etch in deep (which I know from some magical rites that were practiced in the distant past). 

It would be benefical to know what he finds stimulating in the **** porn. Is it the guy? Is it the women are open and available? That it is so hot watching a virile couple? Does he love the look on her face (that he himself might have to deal with emotional performance issues)? Does he like the submissiveness? Or that submissively she is aroused? What is it about the guy or the Bull that is so impressive for him? Does he like to feel himself in the role of the Bull, taking intimacy and be worshipped by other males who in the fantasy are now lesser males? is it the wild sexual Dionysian release (either in estacy or cultural escape)?
Perhaps it speaks to the distance he currently feels is between him and his current wife, and is mental self really wants to be the self-fulfilling carefree dominant bull that his wife is lost before his virility?
For some it's the sub/dom aspect? for others, there is a release of social responsibility (similar with bondage, but with bondage much of the fun is in the time and attention building it up...and most of their porn sux)

Until you start getting the truth from him, and being prepared to address your role in the partnership, nothing can be done, and things will just get worse.

My "across the other side of the world" guess is that with you being HD woman, he's looking for a female dominant, and having an issue dealing with modern life and his own expected "masculine" role - he wants to be your Bull, but also wants you to be his. big guess. (partly from the **** stuff, often the woman asserts control over the relationship through her sexuality)


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Days??? Did you mean "minutes"?
> 
> Days...WHAAAAAAT?
> 
> ...


I found 2.5days for women worked well. At three they become unstable.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Days??? Did you mean "minutes"?
> 
> Days...WHAAAAAAT?
> 
> ...


OMG, I've managed to have sex for about an hour, pause, repeat again a second day with some teasing, pause... Badsanta could not last any longer! 

There are some tease and denial forums where men like to get teased daily but are not allowed to ejaculate for 30 days or more. They describe the feeling of it being like a teenager again and getting to experience what sex/orgasm was like again for the very first time but way stronger.

As for the original poster most men with a cuckold fetish desire to be told how much their wife enjoys sex with someone else, while the actual husband is denied full sexual access to his wife for a period of time. He may only receive intermittent hand jobs and then full penetration on a rare and special occasion. From what I have read most wives in these open relationships will not allow their husbands to participate while she is out with other men; thus from the husband's perspective a little story telling and role playing should actually suffice if the wife wishes to remain monogamous. Combine with some confident tease and denial play you have the ingredients needed to keep him happy. 

One interesting thing I find is that some cuckold blogs with couples in an open relationship actually do have some very creative ideas for tantric sexual exploration that build extremely high levels of desire. They are also rather humorous as well. Here is an example. There was one wife that decided that her husband was only allowed to have sex using condoms to purposely reduce his pleasure and make him miss having sex bare. She would only allow him ONE condom a month, but he was allowed to clean and reuse it as long as it did not break. Once it broke, no more sex until next month. So the best part is when they had sex, she would try to ride him hard so that the condom would purposely break and he would have a sudden moment of pleasure of feeling her bare, but he would be anxious and just want to go slow as to not break the condom so that he could have another chance to have sex before the month was over. 

Now when you step back and analyze that type of play it very likely plays out how this couple got to experience bare sex for the first time in somewhat of a risky situation. So this type of tease and denial very well could be highly erotic if put in just the right context monogamously. 

Badsanta


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

New_Beginnings said:


> I completely agree, if you aren't liking the fetishes then you shouldn't go through an entire marriage to try to please him. It's entirely different if you both are on the same page sexually.. I wouldn't compromise my comfort or sexual style just to constantly please my husband.


This is what I was going to say.

Never mind what the fetish/interest actually is - are you comfortable taking part in it, or not?

In my view, these types of things are pretty black and white, and they are so for a good reason. You're either into it, or you're not. There's no half way, IMO.

Reason being (as was mentioned in another reply above), the person with the fetish will keep wanting more and more. In your original post, you've already mentioned this happening. It is highly, HIGHLY unlikely that your boundary will satisfy your husband for too long, before he requires you to cross your lines.

So it really leaves you with two options:

- you have no part in this whatsoever, and hope he's okay with that

or

- you go all the way with it

Neither option is great, as one of you will not be happy. Meeting him half way seems like the logical choice, and it might be okay for a few months, or even years, but he'll reach the point where it's no longer enough for him. Then you're right back where you are now.

My honest opinion is that when one person has a fetish/interest such as this, they need to find a partner who shares it with them. Not one who will bend or "try it out" or "do it for them". They need somebody who is able to actually enjoy whatever-it-is they're into, otherwise it's entirely lopsided in one person's favour.

Hey, you may learn to enjoy it, who knows? But you probably won't. If you're not into it now, it's not likely some switch in your brain will go off in the future and you'll be all over this lifestyle (and it is a lifestyle).


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## Omar174 (Mar 12, 2014)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Days??? Did you mean "minutes"?
> 
> Days...WHAAAAAAT?
> 
> ...


off topic.

HTTR


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Omar174 said:


> off topic.
> 
> 
> 
> HTTR



Omg...it was my picture that did it 
BWAAAAAHAAAA 


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

My sex life sounds like a porn story and a man's fantasies come true. I will just say that I was a cuckold and what they now call a bull. I was the lover to wives whose husbands liked to share them. They did so for various reasons. Bisexuality is probably the biggest reason but there are others such as feeling that the wife is more valuable because others desire her and yet she comes home to her husband every time. Others just want to live with their private porn star or for something called sperm competition. It seems that men will thrust harder and deeper after their wives have had sex with another man. I will admit that sex with your wife after watching her with another man intensified our sex life for many weeks after. We knew that there was a difference between making love and just having sex for the physical pleasure. I know we are in the minority so no comments on my lifestyle thank you. We are married for over 40 years and that is rare these days.

I just wanted to give you some understanding of why your husband may want you to have sex with other guys. Hopefully it is not based on degrading you but it does not sound that way. I always advise men to not try to convince their wives if they say no. That may lead to the wife doing it only to please her husband and then regretting it later and feels that she went against her own moral code. The wife might do it to shut her husband up and then feel dirty afterwards. The husband may not like it since we do not feel emotions in our fantasies and in real life we do not control the others like puppets doing exactly what we want them to do.

I have only seen a cuckold marriage last long in one case. The woman my wife and I shared, married a guy she found online who wanted to be cuckolded. He lost his first wife to that and he still wanted it. A kink is something we like to do but a fetish is often something we have to do. The internet is filled with guys wanting to become cuckolds. It is the biggest fantasy now, especially with black guys. Porn is fueling this fetish by producing more cuckold porn to keep up to the demand.

I was a cuckold to a girlfriend for a year. She needed a lot of sex in addition to the 3 times a day with me. I did not love her and basically she was a rebound girlfriend after my fiancee of 5 years cheated on me when I was overseas in combat. I got a Dear John letter. I left her when she asked me and my three best friends to gang bang her. She was gone the next day. Apparently I do draw the line at some point. 

What you can do is roleplay as if you did have sex with another guy. Tell him everything that the other guy did to you and how many orgasms you had. Of course, his penis was much bigger than your husbands. That seems to work for couples in your position sometimes. We know a married women who got a used condom from a girlfriend whose boyfriend threw them into the trash when done. She came home late after a night out with the girls and told her husband that he is now a cuckold. For some reason, a lot of guys wear that as a badge of pride. He did not believe her until she produced the used condom. Then she told him a tale of wild sex with a well endowed man who showed her what sex can be. Then they had animal sex for the next few weeks. My point is that sometimes you do not have to actually do it but pretend to. It is worth a shot versus the alternative of getting a divorce.

Hope that I shed some light on the subject and sorry for the long reply but have a lot of experience with cuckolding, from both sides of the fetish and studied why men want to do it. Good luck to you. My wife had a unique way to handle your situation but with a different fetish. She invited her girlfriend to indulge my fetish since we knew she was into it. I do not know many wives who would do that and I certainly did not. Turns out she is bi and used me to lure her best friend into our bed. Two birds with one stone kind of thing.


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## New_Beginnings (Nov 16, 2015)

I'm still not understanding how you're getting advice on how to compromise with his fantasy. If anything it sounds like it's enhancing what he wants, when given into part of his desire and he still craves more. I don't see a win win situation (long term). 

I do like the part the poster above stated about porn. I see those who get highly into different styles of porn then trying to pull that into real life. Not having the most realistic views of what intimacy or connecting on a sexual level should be with your spouse. 

I'm slightly disturbed by how warped minds turn, due to expanding their interests in twisted porn. If certain styles excite those sexually, it's a matter of asking yourself why am I turned on by degrading someone else or myself?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Vinnydee said:


> My sex life sounds like a porn story and a man's fantasies come true. I will just say that I was a cuckold and what they now call a bull. I was the lover to wives whose husbands liked to share them. They did so for various reasons. *Bisexuality is probably the biggest reason but there are others such as feeling that the wife is more valuable because others desire her and yet she comes home to her husband every time. Others just want to live with their private porn star or for something called sperm competition.* It seems that men will thrust harder and deeper after their wives have had sex with another man. I will admit that sex with your wife after watching her with another man intensified our sex life for many weeks after. We knew that there was a difference between making love and just having sex for the physical pleasure. I know we are in the minority so no comments on my lifestyle thank you. We are married for over 40 years and that is rare these days.
> 
> I just wanted to give you some understanding of why your husband may want you to have sex with other guys. Hopefully it is not based on degrading you but it does not sound that way. I always advise men to not try to convince their wives if they say no. That may lead to the wife doing it only to please her husband and then regretting it later and feels that she went against her own moral code. The wife might do it to shut her husband up and then feel dirty afterwards. The husband may not like it since we do not feel emotions in our fantasies and in real life we do not control the others like puppets doing exactly what we want them to do.
> 
> ...


interesting perspective, and while the whole thing is abhorrent to me, it's illuminating to hear from 'the other side'.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Vinnydee said:


> .....What you can do is roleplay as if you did have sex with another guy. Tell him everything that the other guy did to you and how many orgasms you had. Of course, his penis was much bigger than your husbands. That seems to work for couples in your position sometimes. We know a married women who got a used condom from a girlfriend whose boyfriend threw them into the trash when done. She came home late after a night out with the girls and told her husband that he is now a cuckold. For some reason, a lot of guys wear that as a badge of pride. He did not believe her until she produced the used condom. Then she told him a tale of wild sex with a well endowed man who showed her what sex can be. Then they had animal sex for the next few weeks. My point is that sometimes you do not have to actually do it but pretend to. It is worth a shot versus the alternative of getting a divorce....


If she wants to play with fire that is a way that is less dangerous to her marriage. The mind is the biggest sex organ of a person's body and it is easily tricked. She could even save a used condom, that she used on her husband. The point of role play is for two people to figure out a script that excites both and use it to provide something that they want to explore, but together.

There is an interesting TED talk about monogomish, which is a way of "cheating" without cheating. It might help also point out that role playing can sometimes satisfy a variety of sexual wants.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sYguTPLpHE


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Young at Heart said:


> The mind is the biggest sex organ of a person's body and it is easily tricked.


There is an old saying among magicians that, "the hand is quicker than the eye!" 

This is so true that I sometimes enjoy doing magic tricks just to amuse myself, meaning my hands are quicker than my own eyes! I know that makes me sound like I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but my point being is you know how hard it is too fool your own eyes! 

In comparison playing a trick on your wee wee is easy peasy! 

OMG, I just got an idea for my new book... "101 Erotic Tricks You Can Play on Your Own Penis!" 

#1 Fooling your penis into thinking your hand is someone else. Step 1, sit on your hand until it goes numb. Step 2, proceed to masturbate.

:grin2::grin2::grin2:

Badsanta


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