# sex and emotions?



## women R complicated (Dec 20, 2008)

What are these emotional affairs I keep reading about here? I thought because a women is emotional, that is what they need to have sex. They are driven sexually by the emotionaly component. How can a women be in love with another guy and not have sex with him? But then go home and have sex with her husband. :scratchhead:


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## mom876 (Nov 15, 2008)

In my opinion, an emotional affair occurs when a spouse puts another person ahead of their spouse in their heart and mind. They spend their time confiding personal things about their life and marriage with this person instead of sharing their feelings with their spouse. They become emotionally atatched to this person without regard to the feelings of their spouse. 

In my case, it is my husband who is having the emotional affair. Perhaps he wants it to be more but the other woman is not willing.
I know that he doesn't want to be with me. I guess it is different for men. Although many women are capable of having sex with no emotions involved.

Has your wife told you she is in love with another man but hasn't had sex with him? Maybe it is a sense of loyalty to you or guilt that prevents her from taking the emotional affair to a physical one.


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## women R complicated (Dec 20, 2008)

She said she fell in love with him but did not have sex with him. Honestly, how can i believe her when up until this point she has lied about everything that happened. She even told me to back off from inquiring to her girl friends and this guy when if first happened. Don't forget, she finally admitted this almost 4 years later this past summer. and it was durning an emotional meltdown that she admitted this. I just did not understand how she could do what she did and not have a physical relationship of some sort. She is the type if someone is emotional and attentive toward her it's like an aphrodiasiac to her, the clothes come off. Some women it's alcohol, her it's attention and compliments. you can read the whole story at the infidelity page if you like.
thanks for the suggestions. Talking about does help.


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## Farfignewton (Aug 10, 2008)

She may get naked for YOU when you are sweet to her, but that does not mean that he and she have the same sort of connection as you and she do.

I have always separated sex and love except with my husband.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

women R complicated said:


> She said she fell in love with him but did not have sex with him. Honestly, how can i believe her when up until this point she has lied about everything that happened.


In my opinion you dont need to believe her. she lied to you and she will have to suffer the consequences for it. 

my H lied to me about some things and i also wonder if it didnt go further. I still wonder. but all i can do, if i choose to stay in the relationship, is work through the pain of being deceived by someone i thought loved me. Part of that is trying to deal with what might have happened.


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## women R complicated (Dec 20, 2008)

intersting, as i am awake here at night wonder want went wrong, i realized that we can go through the physical and sexual part of the relationship but if the emotional component is not there then it is very empy and lonely


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## Wyst (Dec 27, 2008)

People are complicated.

Yes, it is quite possible to form emotional attachments and not have sex. Due to the nature of my marriage I have had a few over the years, some male, some female - people who I confided in and relied on heavily. I never went so far as to become sexually involved with any of them - due to my value system. Generally I have built in a sort of safety net in that regard by not being secretive about the the folk in question, even if my H didn't know the level of fondness and attachment I might have had for those people. They were all passing phases. It is possible that the guy in question was not prepared to let the friendship go the sexual route for what ever reason of his own.

What would be good is if you are able to re-establish the emotional component of your relationship. What is it about her that you still love and would want to affirm? What is missing for you now that you want back? And what do you think was missing at the time that might have contributed to the situation?


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## women R complicated (Dec 20, 2008)

yes, makes sense. I can do that.


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