# POS OM Advice



## BeenthereDunThat (Nov 27, 2012)

Your wife has had an affair and you are now in R. On a trip to the local mall you and your wife encounter the POS OM --- what do you do?


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

First punch is now a felony in many states. Too bad


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

No comment. I don't want you to take what I would do as advice on what you should do.


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## BeenthereDunThat (Nov 27, 2012)

3putt said:


> No comment. I don't want you to take what I would do as advice on what you should do.


3putt, make an exception and tell me what you would do.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

BeenthereDunThat said:


> 3putt, make an exception and tell me what you would do.


I shouldn't have even posted. I can be a rash idiot sometimes. 

What, are you looking for ideas here? I'm not going to put stuff like that into your head.

Did this actually happen here or are we speaking of hypotheticals.


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## dzd&confused (Nov 27, 2012)

Solid shoulder while passing him. Keep head Down, so he dosnt see and just toss a solid shoulder. If he swings, lay him OUT
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

I'd walk away because I KNOW my temper and I like freedom.


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## BeenthereDunThat (Nov 27, 2012)

3putt said:


> I shouldn't have even posted. I can be a rash idiot sometimes.
> 
> What, are you looking for ideas here? I'm not going to put stuff like that into your head.
> 
> Did this actually happen here or are we speaking of hypotheticals.


3putt, this has not happened yet but I think it is a possibility. I have an idea about what I would do but wanted to get some feedback from other BS's.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

BeenthereDunThat said:


> 3putt, this has not happened yet but I think it is a possibility. I have an idea about what I would do but wanted to get some feedback from other BS's.


Well, the first thing you had better do is ask yourself this question:

_Is what I want to do really worth my freedom and going to jail for? _

I DO love that hard shoulder bump idea though, and then if _he_ swings............


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## fishfast41 (Dec 12, 2010)

Don't do anything dumb and get arrested. Use psychological warfare. Post him on a cheaters site.. Or..do what I did....Make up a fake medical report showing that you have been infected with HIV by your cheating wife.Give him some consequences to think about. heheh


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Guys always attack the other guy in these situations. They forget the real point is that their wife participated as much as the other guy. Forget about the other guy. You can't depend on other guys to keep the wives on the straight and narrow.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

ThePheonix said:


> Guys always attack the other guy in these situations. They forget the real point is that their wife participated as much as the other guy. Forget about the other guy. You can't depend on other guys to keep the wives on the straight and narrow.


That's the practical and logical way to approach it, and I would certainly recommend it, but MUCH easier said than done for someone like me with a _very low_ flashpoint for infidelity.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

Easy, don't go to the mall. That's my solution. Don't trust myself at this point.


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## BeenthereDunThat (Nov 27, 2012)

ThePheonix said:


> Guys always attack the other guy in these situations. They forget the real point is that their wife participated as much as the other guy. Forget about the other guy. You can't depend on other guys to keep the wives on the straight and narrow.


,thepheonix, what you say is true but the fact is the OM is a POS and if you we're to encounter him in the mall what would do?


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

I dream of pouring a pint of very dark bitter over the POSOW head. Hopefully at the beginning of a long looked forward to night out. And announcing why to the company she has. Hopefully a new boyfriend


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## BeenthereDunThat (Nov 27, 2012)

HarryDoyle said:


> Easy, don't go to the mall. That's my solution. Don't trust myself at this point.


Harry, but if you are in the mall and you encounter the POS - what about getting in his grill and when he isn't expecting it kneeing him in the privates because you thought he was going to hit you?


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Do I again have my 8 iron with me?

No. Don't do that. 

And thephoenix...yeah, his wife participated just as much, but throwing an uppercut to her jaw isn't socially acceptable if she mouths off to him or takes a swing at him.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

i would walk up and thank him (would D her not R) (been there done that)


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## dzd&confused (Nov 27, 2012)

3putt said:


> Well, the first thing you had better do is ask yourself this question:
> 
> _Is what I want to do really worth my freedom and going to jail for? _
> 
> I DO love that hard shoulder bump idea though, and then if _he_ swings............


It was a mistake, I didn't see him.. Was looking away and the next thing I knew a punch was thrown at me and I reacted.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

That's a tough one. I would like to think I am above doing anything....but I know I'm not.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

BeenthereDunThat said:


> Harry, but if you are in the mall and you encounter the POS - what about getting in his grill and when he isn't expecting it kneeing him in the privates because you thought he was going to hit you?


This isn't hypocritical. There is a real good possibility we could run into him at the mall or anywhere else like that (I.E Wal$Mart). So the WS and I, when we are together, do not shop close by. By myself, I doubt very much if I would recognize him. I've only seen pics of him, and I know for a fact he would never introduce himself.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

I like how this as shifted to the "what if" stage. He didn't say dude was aggressive, he is basically asking permission to randomly attack a guy. 

If you have the money, do whatever you feel you can afford in legal fees. Oh and make sure your SO is completely out of the fog, the last thing you want, as we have seen in a recent thread, is for her to back the OM.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

BeenthereDunThat said:


> ,thepheonix, what you say is true but the fact is the OM is a POS and if you we're to encounter him in the mall what would do?


I honestly don't know. Hopefully, I'd do the smart thing for my own good and do nothing (and not end up in jail, sued, both or worse). 
One problem with reconciliation is that aftermath is always in your face.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is he with his wife?


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Is he with his wife?


:lol: That changes the whole ballgame. I would hang around the mall to wait for that.


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## MrMathias (Nov 19, 2012)

On Halloween I saw POSOM talking to some people I know at a parade. I went on autopilot and walked up to him, grabbed him on the back of his neck, leaned in and said "Looks like my favorite person in the whole world is here tonight." He looked shocked as hell, said "Yes, he is." I turned away to follow my wife and kid who were tearing down the sidewalk. I turned back to confront the POS and he was gone. I spent the next hour looking for him in the crowd. One of the things I hate most about my disloyal wife is she could see pretty fvcking clear how much that meeting that night tore me up... yet she still spread for him two days later. 

This was while in my FalseR, and at that point they had 'only kissed' as far as I knew. I wish I'd laid him out so badly... there was probably a hundred people within twenty yards of me though. 

The last time he nailed my disloyal wife was two days after Halloween, and it was out of town on a pre-planned meet up. He moved out of town shortly after that night, I suspect he put in his two weeks because of that meeting- lucky for him and me considering I was at his house within three minutes of Dday2 and I'd be awaiting sentencing. 

As angry as I am I'm not ready to give up my voting rights over that piece of trash just yet, so hopefully if and when I see him next I won't see red.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Ask him if his crabs has gone away yet because your still scratching like a mother!


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Why not see what your wife does and take the lead from that.

She should lead you away and look to quell any anger you might have. 

If she doesn't lead her over to him and put her hand in his and walk the fvck away.

End result she should be making it clear that she is concerned about YOU...

Maybe this is a question you should bring up to your wife to see what she will say.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

BeenthereDunThat said:


> Your wife has had an affair and you are now in R. On a trip to the local mall you and your wife encounter the POS OM --- what do you do?


Must be his twin brother because I doubt he could have stayed afloat with all that chain wrapped around him.

Plus I must have remarried. Because I would have dumped the EX. 

Everyone is accountable.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

DrMathias said:


> On Halloween I saw POSOM talking to some people I know at a parade. I went on autopilot and walked up to him, grabbed him on the back of his neck, leaned in and said "Looks like my favorite person in the whole world is here tonight." He looked shocked as hell, said "Yes, he is." I turned away to follow my wife and kid who were tearing down the sidewalk. I turned back to confront the POS and he was gone. I spent the next hour looking for him in the crowd. One of the things I hate most about my disloyal wife is she could see pretty fvcking clear how much that meeting that night tore me up... yet she still spread for him two days later.
> 
> This was while in my FalseR, and at that point they had 'only kissed' as far as I knew. I wish I'd laid him out so badly... there was probably a hundred people within twenty yards of me though.
> 
> ...


I'm truly sorry Matt, but I just lost every shred of respect that I really was trying to regain for your WW. I know I haven't posted to you often, but this is over the top for me. I had no idea about all this.

Oh good frigging Lord. 2 days after this and she boffs him still?????

You're a MUCH bigger man than I am. 

Or, a bigger idiot.

I'll let you decide which one.

Damn!


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

weightlifter said:


> First punch is now a felony in many states. Too bad


Fortunately not in mine. Its just Third Degree Assault, which is a Class I misdemeanor. Only becomes a felony if a weapon is involved and/or results in serious bodily injury, with serious bodily injury being the person will die if not given immediate medical attention. You will get a criminal citation to show up in court, then pay a fine and/or probation.


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## MrMathias (Nov 19, 2012)

3putt said:


> You're a MUCH bigger man than I am.
> 
> Or, a bigger idiot.
> 
> ...


Probably the idiot. I'm sure almost everyone thinks that now. 

I agree, that DW could still be with POSOM 'one last time' after my encounter with him that night is on my list of things "I can't get past". After Dday2 when I was asking WTF she must have thought seeing us together like that, MrsM says she 'felt bad for both of us'. She was 'in love' with both. She was pretty freaked out, deer-in-headlights that night and I knew she was still thinking of him. I could tell. 

I swear dealing with this gets harder every day, the 'reality' just sinks in deeper and deeper. The last time I saw POSOM in the crowd, he'd likely had sex with my DW within a week, and then nails her two days later. The time I saw him before that- in July, he was a guest in my house and had gotten a BJ from her a few hours before, and he'd gone down on her. 

The last two fvcking times I saw him he was actively involved with her. I wish so badly that I knew what was _really_ going on, but I really do think I'd have landed in jail especially that second time. I think if he showed up at school I'd punch him in the nose even if the president of the college was holding his hand. 

*Sorry for the threadjack OP*, I just wanted to chime in with what I did when I publicly encountered someone I dream of seeing in a moderately deep grave in the woods.


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## Louise7 (Nov 8, 2012)

Making sure the POS could see me, I would stop, ask my partner to look at me, get really close with a lot of eye contact and kiss, for a long time.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey Louise---does that really do it for you-----what are you proving---that you can get your cheating spouse to kiss you

Your spouse has already given themselves to another, that includes their heart, and sole, and that kiss ain't gonna prove anything----the other lover won, a long time ago, and the game was over a long time ago, basically you are stuck with what is left, of a very probably detereorating relationship.

As for seeing the lover---if you wanna get physical, you need to goad him into swinging 1st----you attack 1st and he calls cops---you are gonna have an empty wallet and a record---and F up your life from then on.

Bottom line your wife is the one who betrayed you---your wife is the one who took vows with you, and spit on them and you---your wife, and only your wife is who your beef is with

If you encounter lover-----look right at him, don't back down, let him know you know he is there, and walk right by him ignoring him--------

You obviously are gonna trigger, with your wife---so I would pay close attention to how she handles the situation. Just keep your head up in re: everyone around you, show everyone, you are in control.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Pull your penis out a piss on your wife leg.

Serious you look him in the eye and you smile, lift your hand and raise your middle finger.


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## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

the guy said:


> Pull your penis out a piss on your wife leg.
> 
> Serious you look him in the eye and you smile, lift your hand and raise your middle finger.


:rofl:

thanks spit out my coffee, all over my key board now!!!


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

DrMathias said:


> Probably the idiot. I'm sure almost everyone thinks that now.
> 
> I agree, that DW could still be with POSOM 'one last time' after my encounter with him that night is on my list of things "I can't get past". After Dday2 when I was asking WTF she must have thought seeing us together like that, MrsM says she 'felt bad for both of us'. She was 'in love' with both. She was pretty freaked out, deer-in-headlights that night and I knew she was still thinking of him. I could tell.
> 
> ...


Your not an idiot Matt. You were clueless then.

Most BS's are at that time.

And take it from someone who got to beat down on multiple OM who I thought were my friends.

I felt good. But it was short lived because i realized how blindsided I was of her betrayal.

But it was her betrayal not mine.

And I have watched these OM's lives for over 20 years now. And all of them have had fruitless lives.

While mine has been fruitful.

So your best revenge will be to live your life. I hope Mrs M takes that journey with you. But of course you hold the tickets and she has to pay her way.

Peace.

HM64

Thread jack now complete.


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## JustGrinding (Oct 26, 2012)

ThePheonix said:


> Guys always attack the other guy in these situations. They forget the real point is that their wife participated as much as the other guy. Forget about the other guy. You can't depend on other guys to keep the wives on the straight and narrow.


You knowingly screw another man's wife, you take your life in your hands.

I've heard this argument that "the OM didn't exchange vows and owes you nothing." That's BS, and probably the cowardly justification from a wayward mind.

The concept of marriage works because EVERYONE respects it. If you knowingly screw another man's wife, you deserve to have your life destroyed. 

Starting with the bones.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

JustGrinding said:


> You knowingly screw another man's wife, you take your life in your hands.
> 
> I've heard this argument that "the OM didn't exchange vows and owes you nothing." That's BS, and probably the cowardly justification from a wayward mind.
> 
> ...



Ask my wife's xOM. I ruined his life both personally and professionally. Doesn't bother me in the least and I smile quite often.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

You know, this is an interesting topic because I've been wondering the same thing since DD. The POSOM and his wife live just 4 miles away from us.

We live in a small community, but I've not seen this POS while out shopping, with or without my wife, in a year and a half.

The POSOM is retired law enforcement and has already sent me a Cease and Desist email; just for "reminding" his wife to stop contacting my wife (after my wife had asked her to stop). He's convinced his bat sh*t crazy wife that I'm a computer hacker and have been trying to hack into their computers (lol). Threatened to prosecute me if I have. But I digress.

Anyway, I've thought a lot about what I would do if I ran into him and I've come to the conclusion that I'll just walk up to him and look him right between the eyes for a few seconds, say nothing and walk away - assuming he doesn't do anything first. But man, I hope he does.


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## lewmin (Nov 5, 2012)

Yeah. I live only about 2-3 miles away from POSOM also. I've actually run into the wife at a local supermarket - I knew i would periodically as I would typically also run into her before D-Day. All four of us socialized upon occasion, so we were friendly. I felt bad for her in a way. Sweet woman who did not deserve this. When I ran into her it was only about 3-4 weeks after I showed her the proof of the affair, and you could see the toll it was taking on her. I wished her the best, regardless of the outcome. (She is married for 17 years - me for 27) and believe it or not was a virgin when she married her POSOM. Nice catholic girl.

We compared some notes and went on our way....I think she realizes that her POSOM just bs'd to my wife about how his own wife is not x, y, and z. Of course these were not true, and in fact they were traits of POSOM himself.

I do expect to run into POSOM at some point due to the close proximity. I probably won't take a swing...(I blame my wife more for the affair)...but I am pissed at this guy for befriending me. I'll just tell him to grow up and be a man and be lucky your beautiful wife is still hanging on to you because you do not deserve it.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

bbdad said:


> I am not a violent person by nature. But, I would probably do a bit of intimidation, as *I am bigger than most guys my age. I have also been involved in combat arts for about 20 years, with the last 8 devoted to BJJ and kickboxing*. *I would not throw the first punch as it would be a legal issue at that point.* However, if I had to defend a perceived or actual attack, all hell would break loose.


I you cause serious harm the red portion could be irrelevant due the bolded part in a court.


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

MrMathias said:


> Probably the idiot. I'm sure almost everyone thinks that now.
> 
> I agree, that DW could still be with POSOM 'one last time' after my encounter with him that night is on my list of things "I can't get past". After Dday2 when I was asking WTF she must have thought seeing us together like that, MrsM says she 'felt bad for both of us'. She was 'in love' with both. She was pretty freaked out, deer-in-headlights that night and I knew she was still thinking of him. I could tell.
> 
> ...


Oh man... I don't advocate violence for any reason except self-defense. But I hope somebody, somewhere, someday will give that little prick a beating he deserves.


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## GoodForNothing (Feb 25, 2013)

BeenthereDunThat said:


> Your wife has had an affair and you are now in R. On a trip to the local mall you and your wife encounter the POS OM --- what do you do?


In my case, this happened, I just didn't know that he was the OM for sure then. Long story short, years back my wife had an EA with this guy, maybe a PA, he eventually gets married and moves away out of state. He was a "friend of the family" kind of thing, but always treated me bad for reasons that I know now but didn't know then. 

For some reason OM, his wife, their toddler and another on the way were at the mall when we went there a year later, back in town for a visit or something. We stand there at the entrance to Macy's and he comes up and hugs me real big, pats me on the back, I think how weird given how he always treated me. 

I don't know if he thought I knew then or not, I didn't of course, but either way I just think back to how much brass OM had. Sadly, that's probably part of why he gets laid so quickly and easily with various married women, and why so many people think that's just fine for reasons I still don't get. 

Had I known, how would I have reacted? Sadly I have to admit probably much the same, cold and distant but nothing more.


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## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

Grab your wife's butt with both hands and pull her close to your hips, then french kiss her mouth like he was fog...Pretend he never existed...


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

JustGrinding said:


> You knowingly screw another man's wife, you take your life in your hands.


No argument here. Down here in the South, when an ole boy tells you he will kill you over his wife, kids, or dogs, you best believe him. 
The problem is the courts frown upon one person physically assaulting another. Unless you're willing to take your chances with a jury and probably do jail time over a spouse that willingly laid down with another man, you may want to leave it alone. Not to highjack the thread with an unrelated matter, but I needed to move 100+ yds of soil. I hired a guy with the equipment to do it. It cost a little, but I stayed clean.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

BeenthereDunThat said:


> Your wife has had an affair and you are now in R. On a trip to the local mall you and your wife encounter the POS OM --- what do you do?


Do what I f**king had to do in real life when this happened to my wife and I.

Just be really polite and cordial to the POSOM. That freaked him out, big time, let me tell you!


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

nah I'd follow him from about twenty meters away. Any time he looks back make sure he sees you. if he goes down and aisle you go down the next and when he looks up he sees you. I would suggest holding a basket with kitchen knives, a machete (only in walmart) , or a shovel.
then you can go home knowing he will not be sleeping well that night.


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## Joe Dirt (Jan 28, 2013)

SomedayDig said:


> Ask my wife's xOM. I ruined his life both personally and professionally. Doesn't bother me in the least and I smile quite often.


How did you destroy his life?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mario Kempes (Jun 12, 2010)

Joe Dirt said:


> How did you destroy his life?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think the other guy in Dig's situation was a high flying lawyer. Dig posted him on Cheaterville and because he got a massive number of hits, that was the first web page that came up when you Googled his name. I think it destroyed the guy professionally.

Nice one, Dig!!!!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

What would I do? I would grab my wife and kiss her HARD with full tongue right there in front of God and everyone. I'd put a hand down her pants and squeeze her ass while I was doing it. Then I'd put my head up and strut past him like I was the stud who did the whole cheerleading squad....and I'd not even glance his way. He's nothing.


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

Why would you fight the guy with witnesses around?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

BeenthereDunThat said:


> Your wife has had an affair and you are now in R. On a trip to the local mall you and your wife encounter the POS OM --- what do you do?


Here is what actually happened:-

I said: "Hello, xxxx. Oh! Is this your new wife? How nice to meet you!"

He looked like he was going to s**t bricks! :rofl:

My main impressions of our brief encounter was that he looked like a deer caught in the headlights and that his new wife was tall, pretty and had a massive pair of norks.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Claim self defense at the trial...


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Mario Kempes said:


> I think the other guy in Dig's situation was a high flying lawyer. Dig posted him on Cheaterville and because he got a massive number of hits, that was the first web page that came up when you Googled his name. I think it destroyed the guy professionally.
> 
> Nice one, Dig!!!!


Thank you Mario. I must however thank Shaggy for telling me of the wonderful Cheaterville website.

Yeah, the once high flying attorney is now a glorified salesman for a green energy company.

Boo f'ng hoo.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Ohhh....ya know, I guess I should also say that he is now up to 2,000,000 hits and there's no Alexa or SEO that will save his name at this stage of the game. Cheaterville is just too big. Couple that with me using the anonymous email to send the profile to his top 2 partners...well, that kinda sealed that guy's fate - considering he was the senior partner in a 10 office statewide firm.

Yeah. Sometimes these idiot AP's have nooooo idea who's spouse they're f'ng with.


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## Twice (Mar 31, 2013)

Lucky for me the POS OM lives in some shat hole five states away... Him and his six brothers are no doubt shooten swamp rats down the creek right now... Prolly be banging his cousins daughter Emmy Lou later, then washing down his fried critter with some swill made out back...

I dream of a good ole blanket party for the SOB...


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## Joe Dirt (Jan 28, 2013)

Nice. Haven't gone to cheaterville yet. Anyone use facebook or twitter to destroy POSOM?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Joe Dirt said:


> Nice. Haven't gone to cheaterville yet. Anyone use facebook or twitter to destroy POSOM?


Why bother when Cheaterville will do it all for you?


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Thankfully, the OM lives about over an hour away with 2+ million people between us. 

Let's see - lots of scenarios

1) wife and I are together and I see him first = I would put my arm around her, steer her the other direction while staring him in the eye, and just keep walking.

2) wife and I are together and she sees him first or we see him at the same time = unpredictable. She may want to have all three of us clear the air, as she is overly extroverted about everything. I would say, no, we need to leave. Now.

3) if I saw him and my wife wasn't around = I would simply pretend he didn't exist - act like he was another stranger in the crowd.

He would not approach us. He wants to run into me no more than I want to run into him. What I don't know, is if he and my W happened to run into each other somewhere. My guess is they would talk and say how much the situation sucks for everyone, and express to each other what a huge mistake it was. And then go their separate ways.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Too many witnesses, just walk in front of him and pass as much gas as possible.


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## Brokenshadow (May 3, 2013)

Smash his head against a wall until I feel his skull cave in. Savor the sticky sensation of his blood on my hands, and the wailing of his family as they watch the light fade from his eyes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Joe Dirt said:


> Nice. Haven't gone to cheaterville yet. Anyone use facebook or twitter to destroy POSOM?


No. However, I guess you could always make a Page about the guy. I will say that with one caveat: You _can't_ make it personal. 

Like Joe Friday from 'Dragnet'...just the facts.

It is how I took care of the xOM. Nothing but facts. Cuz he's an attorney and I ain't a f'ng idiot. Far from it in fact.


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## GetTough (Jul 18, 2010)

BeenthereDunThat said:


> Your wife has had an affair and you are now in R. On a trip to the local mall you and your wife encounter the POS OM --- what do you do?


He's not worth a second of your attention. Are you in control of your emotions or is the environment?


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

To the original post, it happened to me. It was at a soccer game for one of my kids. The rage I felt was immense. I knew in the back of my head that if I started something it would look bad for me in court and toward custody of my children. Sometimes I just wish I was born in another century.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Got news for you pal. The OM is a POS but the woman your walking into the mall with is also a POS. You wanna beat this guys a$$? Fine. Make a fool of yourself. She cheated on you and slept with some guy and your worried that you might run into him. She should be the one running away. This might sound harsh but every women knows that no man gets to first base with a her unless she wants him to, let alone second, third and home plate. He took what was offered to him. Is it right? No, but before you decide to lock and load on this guy, just take a real hard look at the woman your walking in with and ask yourself, will it happen again? You didn't think it would happen the first time did you? Why in Gods name do you want to fight a guy when it was YOUR WIFE who took your marriage, took the love and respect you gave her and ran it through the mud. She can show remorse but now your the one who has to look over his shoulder hoping you don't run into him while she gets the privilege of being the one who gets her honor defended. She gave up her honor when she got in bed with him. Was she thinking about your dignity? Your love? Your self respect? Hell no. She was thinking only about herself. Think about that, That's going to be your life with her for a long time coming.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

I would call him out verbally - insult and belittle to the point he takes the first swing, then knock his f*cking teeth out. But that's just me. 

Calling him a "b*tch", or a "goof", or "c*nt" should get him going.

Any of those can drive a man to take a swing at you.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

6301 said:


> Got news for you pal. The OM is a POS but the woman your walking into the mall with is also a POS. You wanna beat this guys a$$? Fine. Make a fool of yourself. She cheated on you and slept with some guy and your worried that you might run into him. She should be the one running away. This might sound harsh but every women knows that no man gets to first base with a her unless she wants him to, let alone second, third and home plate. He took what was offered to him. Is it right? No, but before you decide to lock and load on this guy, just take a real hard look at the woman your walking in with and ask yourself, will it happen again? You didn't think it would happen the first time did you? Why in Gods name do you want to fight a guy when it was YOUR WIFE who took your marriage, took the love and respect you gave her and ran it through the mud. She can show remorse but now your the one who has to look over his shoulder hoping you don't run into him while she gets the privilege of being the one who gets her honor defended. She gave up her honor when she got in bed with him. Was she thinking about your dignity? Your love? Your self respect? Hell no. She was thinking only about herself. Think about that, That's going to be your life with her for a long time coming.


Good post. Ignore mine - this makes more sense.


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

I get the "its your wife" deal, I really do. But in my case, the POSOM spent a year wooing my wife, the whole time with his legs under my table, putting his arm around me as we were good buddies. As it is, she is his wife now. We live in a small town of 8,100, they live 5 blocks from me, and I haven't seen him since DD which is a month shy of two years ago, haven't seen her since 16 months ago...so they are obviously working hard at not running into me. That being said, I think I would, as passing by him, thank him for taking the $kank off my hands. Tell him I am glad that HE is the one who is afraid of letting his wife have a cell phone (you want her, you have to call him, and he hands her the phone) and not me. Hoping against hope that he then takes a swing at me. Then I kick his a$$. He is ex Marine, but is 14 years older than me (Im 53) overweight (I work out 4 x weekly) and I figure he is good for one punch, then he will need to set down and rest. All I need is to get close enough so he cant get away. I promised my daughters that I would not kill him, but they cant get mad at me if I am only defending myself. My buddy the Judge told me that in my county, no jury is ever going to put a guy in jail for defending himself against an OM, never has happened in his court room. I just need witnesses that he swung first.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

6301 said:


> Got news for you pal. The OM is a POS but the woman your walking into the mall with is also a POS.
> 
> He took what was offered to him. Is it right? No, but before you decide to lock and load on this guy, just take a real hard look at the woman your walking in with and ask yourself


^ This.

All this anger and vengeance and the need to beat up the OM.

Why is the cheating wife somehow exempt?

She's more culpable than he is.

If we're talking about a rapist or some other sort of forced sexual assault, well that's another matter, but as the above quoted poster said, the guy just took what was offered.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Make your WS walk over to him. Tell him was worthless in bed. That you were ten times the man he was. MAke her shame the hell out of him in public. Ask him why he went after a married woman and took advantage of her fragile state of mind. Get it on youtube and post it to his FB page.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

badbane said:


> Make your WS walk over to him. Tell him was worthless in bed. That you were ten times the man he was. MAke her shame the hell out of him in public. Ask him why he went after a married woman and took advantage of her fragile state of mind. Get it on youtube and post it to his FB page.


But he wasn't worthless in bed and he knows it, and if you were 10x the man he was then she wouldn't have had an affair with him and you'll come across as an angry lunatic who can't let it go yet decided to stay with the cheater despite all the pent up misplaced rage and you don't know that he "went after a married woman and took advantage of her fragile state" for all you know she went after HIM and knew exactly what she was doing and mislead him into believing there was no marriage for all practical purposes.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Yay for the "innocent" OM stuff!


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

lenzi said:


> But he wasn't worthless in bed and he knows it, and if you were 10x the man he was then she wouldn't have had an affair with him and you'll come across as an angry lunatic who can't let it go yet decided to stay with the cheater despite all the pent up misplaced rage and you don't know that he "went after a married woman and took advantage of her fragile state" for all you know she went after HIM and knew exactly what she was doing and mislead him into believing there was no marriage for all practical purposes.


so what It's for your ego not his.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

badbane said:


> Make your WS walk over to him. Tell him was worthless in bed. That you were ten times the man he was. MAke her shame the hell out of him in public. Ask him why he went after a married woman and took advantage of her fragile state of mind. Get it on youtube and post it to his FB page.


If I was the OM my reply to something like this "Was that how you felt when you were writhing beneath me? Did you want to tell me that when you were gagging around my c0ck?"


I'm just trying to be practical here. Nothing your WS says to him is going to hurt him in any way. True, he used her. But she used him too.

All too often we think the OM is the bad guy because he instigated. All men who want to have sex with a woman pull the first move. But both you and I know women can't be seduced unless they want to be. And being your wife she should have respected you enough to stop him at any time, even in her fragile state of mind. I don't mean any disrespect to those who reconcile but this issue is something that will forever hang around in the background unless you guys fool yourselves into thinking that your partner was a victim. That's a bitter pill to swallow for most men.

Regarding the POS OM, any direct confrontation is useless if both of you are on even ground. Hit him where it hurts, find his weakness. Be indirect and cold. Only have a face to face confrontation if you have an advantage, when you can pull his strings and make him squirm.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Sometimes these idiot AP's have nooooo idea who's spouse they're f'ng with.


This is actually a very funny double entendre. Well done.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Harken Banks said:


> This is actually a very funny double entrendre. Well done.


I do try to keep it quippy!


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

BjornFree said:


> I'm just trying to be practical here. Nothing your WS says to him is going to hurt him in any way. True, he used her. But she used him too.


Exactly. The OM may be concerned about a physical confrontation but when the dust settles he'll walk away thinking "I banged that guy's wife- because she WANTED ME TO- and he's still stewing over it, too bad for him".


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Hence, not getting physical is the best solution, IMO. There are ways for more reaching than a punch to the face!


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

"Your wife has had an affair and you are now in R. On a trip to the local mall you and your wife encounter the POS OM --- what do you do?"

As my xw is now his wife, I ask him the question that is burning in my brain. "When has she been the best in bed, when she was my wife or now that she is yours?"


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Hoosier said:


> "Your wife has had an affair and you are now in R. On a trip to the local mall you and your wife encounter the POS OM --- what do you do?"
> 
> As my xw is now his wife, I ask him the question that is burning in my brain. "When has she been the best in bed, when she was my wife or now that she is yours?"


Damn, son.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

The POSOM is 400 miles away but we do pass through there once in a while on our way to her relatives. 

He's a pilot. I'm a pilot and a mechanic. What do you think I could do?

However, the POS isn't worth my time. I have to spend all my time overcoming the BS he and she foisted upon my soul. However, if he was STUPID enough to get in my face, or in my way, only God could stop me and He'd have to be pretty quick about it. But I'm pretty sure the POSOM isn't that stupid. 

He was stupid enough, however, to tell my WW (single at the time) that he thought hiw wife was intensely beautiful. That hurt WW's feelings, can you imagine? lol

I agree totally the WW was scum for doing it, too. But it's much easier to punch a guy than a woman. I would never punch a woman, and with 54 years behind me, my word is gold on that one.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Accidental Liverpool Kiss followed by accidental knee to the nuts and accidental stomp to the groin. Then help him up while whispering vengeful words of remorse and then accidentally drop him.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Well then "Un foist her off your soul. Your more worried about the "what if's" then the problem at hand. By the way, are you sure this is her only time she strayed? I have been cheated on in my couple of marriages and IMO, it's a deal breaker. I refuse to look over my shoulder day after day always wondering if she's doing what she says she's doing, with who she say's she's with, and where she say's she is. I know it sounds like I have no compassion but that's the kind of pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
I agree that you shouldn't hit her and everyone who posts here will agree, but that's why you hire a lawyer. The punch with legal power behind it can hurt big time.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Horizon said:


> Accidental Liverpool Kiss followed by accidental knee to the nuts and accidental stomp to the groin. Then help him up while whispering vengeful words of remorse and then accidentally drop him.


I don't know what a Liverpool kiss is, but that was hilarious! :smthumbup:


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

doubletrouble said:


> I don't know what a Liverpool kiss is, but that was hilarious! :smthumbup:


Another one curious about it:

urbandictionary
"English term for a Head butt, a form of physical attack where the victim is hit on the forehead by the attacker's head".


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Acabado said:


> Another one curious about it:
> 
> urbandictionary
> "English term for a Head butt, a form of physical attack where the victim is hit on the forehead by the attacker's head".


That's hilarious! I gotta remember that one.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

The POSOM lives in the nearest town to us about 5 miles away and my ex saw him when we were in the supermarket a few months ago. We had split up to get different things. Luckily I didn't see him. The funny thing was, a well known actress was in the store at the time. When I caught up with the wife said "guess who I saw!". She went white, then I told her and she seemed really relieved - which puzzled me until she told me why. It was quite funny.

Anyway, I thought I saw the OM going into the store in our nearest village. Before that I had no idea what I was going to do if I saw him. Long story short, I waited by what I thought was his car with no real idea of what I was going to do - except I was not going to let him come to the village without a confrontation.

I was walking away after waiting for some minutes and he got into his car. I walked over and stood over his car door. He wound the window down. Even though I know the OM from years ago and was face to face I still couldn't be sure it wasn't him:

"Don't I know you?" I said. He said he didn't think so and his name was Andy - not the OM's name and tied in with a personal plate he had on the car. Plus, he was maybe 15 years younger than the OM and taller too. I apologised and walked away.

It must have been a pretty odd sight to anyone watching and maybe a bit scary for the guy I accosted, but I know now that, whatever the situation, I am going to have to confront the POSOM even if it means I walk way after spitting in his face.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

the guy said:


> Pull your penis out a piss on your wife leg.
> 
> Serious you look him in the eye and you smile, lift your hand and raise your middle finger.


LOL.


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

Drop what ever you haven't paid for, and leave the building... if your wife is alone, she should also leave a full cart and walk out of the building (then tell you). It's not even worth acknowledging his existence.. 

Now, if he approaches you.... The first thing any good Karate teacher will educate you on is that it's never worth it to fight if you can avoid it... Fighting is for defense, not offense. If he comes at you, make him bleed. I suggest starting with a front ball kick then claw his eyes out.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

lenzi said:


> But he wasn't worthless in bed and he knows it, and if you were 10x the man he was then she wouldn't have had an affair with him and you'll come across as an angry lunatic who can't let it go yet decided to stay with the cheater despite all the pent up misplaced rage and you don't know that he "went after a married woman and took advantage of her fragile state" for all you know she went after HIM and knew exactly what she was doing and mislead him into believing there was no marriage for all practical purposes.


Great point Lenzi, and something that has always ticked away in the back of my mind. My WS has subtley, implied a handful of times that she was somehow duped - she can't bring herself to full disclosure of anything. But she did once say something about Alpha males. In the early stages I had become a bit obsessed with the POSOM being Alpha - she said "they just know what to say". In other words - blaming the POSOM, more or less saying that she was tricked into it for want of a much better word.

All complete BS - I just re-read the e-mails, which she thought she'd got rid of. These are not the words of a "duped" woman. But I can detect that she was hopelessly wrapped up in him. Much like first love in some way. Massive intense and passionate feelings - more sexual than love perhaps. All denied by her - it "was fantasy".

My WS was in it up to here eyeballs - driving it just as much as that POSOM.

"Terminate with extreme prejudice"


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