# Part 1 The story of my life.



## lilly (Oct 29, 2009)

I have been married for 9 years, to a man who is verry popular and has many friends, Male and female. He has a way about him that's hard to resist. After he charmed me and stole my heart, things became more and more diffucalt for me to keep him. Women, (some of them his ex's) would text e-mail and call him. Sometimes he would go outside or in anouther room to talk. When I ?'ed him, he would tell me it was none of my bussiness, and how much he hated when I ?'ed him. That he was with me and I should trust him. Then I would tell him that trust is'nt free, that it's something that has to be shown, And how could I trust a conversation that he had to take elsewhere. Long story short, we would end up in a big arguement and he would leave, sometimes not comming home all night or weekend. But at the same time texting me that he was at his friends that he just didnt want to argue and how much he loves me and wish things could be right with us. He wants me to trust him. So of course I would always just melt and enjoy so being in his arm's again. But as his behavior didnt change in his talking to these women, instead of asking or saying anything I began to investagate. And found an e-mail of one of his ex's where she had sent him a naked pic and e-mailing sex talk. I printed off 1 of the e-mail's and on my way to work stopped by his work and gave it to him. Then told him I wanted him out. He swore that nothing happened. And how much he loved me and he would never do that again and he wasnt even going to talk to her anymore no phone calls nothing yada yada yada. Needless to say he charmed his way back in. The rest of the story will have to wait, I dont have time right now. Maybe I'm typing this out so that I can see thing's a little clearer myself. I'm just so hurt and confused.


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

You just joined, and surely are only interested in your own problem right now, so you probably haven't read many other threads. Therefore, I'll save you some time figuring something out that you'd eventually get anyhow:

The cheaters ONLY admit to what they've already been caught at. A mea culpa when you've shown him evidence is not a mea culpa. And the lies they come up with on the fly. If only they could put that power towards the good. 

Staying out all weekend when you confront him with legitimate concerns of infidelity? What the **** is THAT all about? Please, please please. For the sake of all of us who have done it: DO NOT let him charm himself out of it with his lies. You have EVERY right to be concerned. You may not want him to know about your coming on this site, so google "emotional affairs" for him and let him read up. If he still says his actions are different, just leave. Don't tell him where you're going. Give him a taste of his own medicine. I wish to god I did that.

Good luck.


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## outinthecold (Apr 30, 2009)

No man has conversations in private unless there is something to hide or there is something noisy in the room that they have to step out.

If there are small children, dogs, wild goldfish making noise, trash compactor, loud dish washer, really loud laundry folding going on.

He is hiding something.

I use to leave my phone out all the time to charge in the kitchen. Anyone could use my phone, look at my phone, read my emails, look at my appointments, I had nothing to hide ever. 

Can you say the same about him?

Would he let you read his phone, text messages, appointments?


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## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

lilly said:


> Needless to say he charmed his way back in.


so then you are aware of at least part of your problem

a big part of your problem.

it shouldn't be 'needless to say'

it should be 'i don't trust him any more and don't believe what he says'.

he may be charming (and i say that with trepidation because it matters not)

but you made sure to believe his obvious lies.

and there's a reason for that, isnt there:slap::slap:


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## lilly (Oct 29, 2009)

Yes I'm well aware of the problems, It doesn't mean it hurts any less. And no he wants me to stay out of his things, says it's none of my business that I'm invading his privacy and I should just trust him. I don't believe his obvious lies and really just want to move on. I don't deserve to feel this way. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. I just don't know how to act in a way I don't feel. I'm working on it though. Signing up for some group help sessions.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

I was in love with a man like this in high school. Thankfully I didn't marry him. He is still at it... like he never grew up and thrives of attention from others. I saw in the newspaper how he beat up his girlfriend and her friend.
'I thought WOW that could have been me and I thank God I never married him. Mr Popularity usually has a very dark side.


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