# How do I do it?



## Mixedupmama (Jul 9, 2013)

My husband and I have been together for three years now married for one year. I have a 5 year old from a past relationship. (Birth father is not in the picture at all) All my son knows is my husband as his father. The two of them butt heads so badly that I feel the need, being mama bear and all, to jump in the middle of it. My husband takes this as me undermining him and just taking control and "acting like a single mom again". So my question is to any and all who have been in my shoes... What works? How do I keep my marriage going stong AND create a family... I am not sure how all this forum stuff works but I am looking for all the assistance I can get. Help?!


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Let them forge their own bond and relationship. If its getting really bad, get in to family counseling.


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## bewilderness (Jun 11, 2013)

First of all, your son is 5. If your husband is butting heads with a 5 year-old, your HUSBAND is the problem. Five year-olds need redirection, rewards and age-appropriate consequences. 

If there is a 1-2-3 Magic class in your area, take it together. Your husband needs to learn to be a dad - not just an authoritarian. You will both benefit from stocking your toolbox with tools. Take some classes together and good luck! 

(Also - if you take a class together, your husband may be more likely to take the advice of an outside expert. My husband will often take somebody else's advice, even though it is the EXACT same advice I gave him. Maddening, but better than nothing.)

Call a local counseling office or parent outreach program. See what classes they offer and maybe let your husband pick the one that appeals to him most so that he feels invested in the process.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You both need to take a parenting class. If he refuses, it's a safe bet he just married you to have you there, and doesn't really want your son. I'd run.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

And print these out and read them to him - teaches you how to be a GOOD parent, not just a parent; the kind kids need to grow up healthy and happy and normal.

Authoritative Parenting - What Is Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative Parenting - Psychology Definition of the Week

Parenting Styles

Different Parenting Styles - How to Handle Different Parenting Styles

Parenting styles - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## Mixedupmama (Jul 9, 2013)

Yeah thanks guys! I have wanted to take some classes with him but it goes against everythin he has been taught, or so he says. He hatesthe idea that he has to appear "not in control".... How do i get him there with that attitude?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You tell him either he goes with you or you are moving out. IIWY, the well being of my child trumps what any man wants. There ARE men out there who just want to be a loving, respectful husband and father.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm wondering how bad is it?

Using words like "butted heads" and "control" scare me.

He's FIVE.


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