# Should Marriage Be For Life?



## curious (Oct 6, 2009)

What do you think?


----------



## Patty (Sep 29, 2009)

Well, ideally yes. In reality, I believe very much in 2nd chances. Sometimes you just don't get it right the first time around, even if you have very good intentions.


----------



## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

Without question. They were good enough to marry why would it be any different?? I believe if we want to change the world and make it a better place we need to start with our families. Giving them a stable enviornment. We all need to take our marriages seriously.. That our commitment is a life long covenant.. Not a contract. too bad we all allow our feelings to change due to time and circumstance..


----------



## JamesM (Sep 17, 2009)

Yes.

Agree with LH.

And if you begin a marriage with a "Let's see how it goes" attitude and not one that is committed to life, then you will soon find that when the tough times come (and they will), then you will be thinking that it is time to bail.

As many long term marrieds will tell you, getting through those tough times is what makes a marriage strong.


----------



## amymc01 (Oct 6, 2009)

Marriage should be entered into with the assumption and plan that it will last forever - otherwise, aren't you giving yourself an out before you even give it a try. I understand that divorce is a reality and not all marriages work out, but it should not be in the back of your mind when you begin the marriage.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

On occation people will ask me if this is my first marriage. (We married late) I always reply, "No, it's my only one."
I intend to keep it that way. 20 years +


----------



## Still Tryin' (Sep 27, 2009)

As the 4th wife to my husband (my first marriage) we made a pact, as long as one of us was willing to work on it the other had to also. During year 2 I wanted to work on it, so he had to pony up. During year 6 he wanted to work on it so I had to pony up. Now at year 12 we both agreed we needed to go see someone again. 
I think marriage should be for life, if it gets hard you do your best. No one know exactly how to do this all the time, sometimes you have to ask for help.


----------



## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Yes



curious said:


> What do you think?


----------



## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

sometimes, for some, a marriage becomes a dangerous place.

sometimes a marriage becomes a demeaning place.

no one should ever stay where they are in danger or demeaned.


----------



## larniegrl (Oct 7, 2009)

It should be for life, that is why you say the vows. Yet, you can never dictate what life will throw your way...you should plan for forever, but never leave yourself trapped.


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

No. its not natural.


----------



## Critter (Oct 7, 2009)

I always used to think that I would never "mate for life". I would ask people why they got married trying to understand how it all worked.

Now I am married and my husband and I have said that divorce is not an option but are extremely close to breaking that vow. 

I think that some people need the comfort of another person being there for them unconditionally (if you are lucky to find something like that) and that is why THEY mate for life. Others get married and stay married because of religious beliefs or they have been conditioned to think that is the correct thing to do; that is why THEY mate for life. Everyone has their own reasons as to why they want to be married but I think that ultimately marriage is a fad that has more to do with white dresses and fancy cakes than the uniting of 2 lives.


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Critter said:


> I think that ultimately marriage is a fad


Hmmmm! Some fad. It's only been around for a few thousand years. 

But I agree with you on one point. Anyone that enters into marriage and thinks it's about the celebration and ceremony will likely fail in the long haul.


----------



## Critter (Oct 7, 2009)

When I say it's a fad, I mean the idea of the white wedding and all the gifts and guests oohing over the bride and groom. Sorry I didn't clarify that. My mistake. 

I meant that some people have such an attachment to the idea of the wedding that they don't understand what it's all really about and that it's more than just saying you're married.


----------



## Blaze (Sep 16, 2009)

If a person didn't want a lifetime committment - then why marry in the first place? What would be the point?

Yes, I feel marriage is for a lifetime.

Sadly, sometimes things don't work out though.....

Blaze


----------



## New Beginnings (Sep 9, 2009)

I think I get whqat Critter is saying. Almost sounds like she is expressing what her husband is failing to get. At least my take on it, even if she meant it as a generalized statement. 

As for the OP's question, to me marriage is a lifetime commitment and the only thing that to me breaks that vow is infidelity. At least from my own point of view. From a womans I would include physical/sexual abuse as more than enough reason to end it as well.


----------



## hoping (Sep 28, 2009)

New Beginnings said:


> As for the OP's question, to me marriage is a lifetime commitment and the only thing that to me breaks that vow is infidelity. At least from my own point of view. From a womans I would include physical/sexual abuse as more than enough reason to end it as well.


I agree. Marriage should be for life and with love and commitment on at least one side a marriage should be able to last through just about any thing life can throw at you. well, with the same exceptions New Beginnings noted  

except i would add that no one is perfect and infidelity MAY not be a reason to call it quits.. some times it can be over come.... some times....


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Blaze said:


> If a person didn't want a lifetime committment - then why marry in the first place? What would be the point?


there are legal benefits. that is the only reason i can think of to get the official postmark stamped on the relationship. the title of marriage by law is not what sealed me to my H. i was already committed to him. but committed for how long, who knows. that's not something a legal document has anything to do with- to me. the official stamp, for me, has more to do with legality.


----------



## hoping (Sep 28, 2009)

Blanca, did you take vows? if so, did they in clude the line "till death do you part" or "untill i'm sick of you" or did you write your own?

no offense intended... just seems like making a promise of "untill death do we part" would imply just that?

may be.. just maybe..i'm wrong and a persons promise SHOULD be regarded as completly meaning less??? hmmmm... i'll have to think on that.... 

on a lighter note though... i love the picture... of topic but who's the artist?


----------



## LadyEm (Oct 6, 2009)

Yes, it should. Marriage isn't just about love and sex, it's a partnership as well.


----------



## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

I need to change how I said my statement. Marriage should be for life if both people are willing to make that commitment. If the other has no interest nothing you want can work. Since you can't control that person..


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

hoping said:


> Blanca, did you take vows? if so, did they in clude the line "till death do you part" or "untill i'm sick of you" or did you write your own?


You can write your own?!? Why didn't i think of that?? j/k. i can see you are very passionate about this. and i understand what you are saying.

You mentioned the vows and what is written in them. I think you would agree that one does not agree to be subject to physical violence, emotional manipulations, child neglect/abuse, and spousal neglect 'until death do you part.' there is a two way promise to love and honor "until death do you part." when those vows are broken then one has liberty to exit the marriage, or take other precautions to protect ones heart and body- or that of one's children.

that is just a few reasons to leave. there are also others that are a little more philosophical, and perhaps even some that are biological. Life is not so simple as, 'but you promised.' if it were, we'd all be really skinny, and there'd be no war, hunger, etc. you get the picture. 

but seriously, can you write your own? I have a few things id like to add...


----------

