# Hair color complications



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm just curious about this really...

Personally I reckon my wife would look really good with darker or dark red hair (she's natural blonde), but she is under the impression that it'll damage her hair (which she is very protective of). I've been looking up the net for more information and it turns out there may be complications later on such as dry hair / blotches / uneven colors etc etc... From blonde to a darker color yields more risk apparently too.

I'm just wondering if anyone has experience going from blonde to black or dark brown or auburn or dark red, and what complications were there and if it's possible to fix if the missus decides to go back to her natural color.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> I'm just curious about this really...
> 
> Personally I reckon my wife would look really good with darker or dark red hair (she's natural blonde), but she is under the impression that it'll damage her hair (which she is very protective of). I've been looking up the net for more information and it turns out there may be complications later on such as dry hair / blotches / uneven colors etc etc... From blonde to a darker color yields more risk apparently too.
> 
> I'm just wondering if anyone has experience going from blonde to black or dark brown or auburn or dark red, and what complications were there and if it's possible to fix if the missus decides to go back to her natural color.


Why can't you ever make her feel loved and accepted for exactly who she is - no change? 
Yes changing back is a huge process and potentially damaging. Just stop showing her time and time again she just isn't quite good enough for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It's not that I don't love or accept her, or even her hair color. if that was the case I wouldn't be showing her my love everyday recently. But after 4 years, it's nice to spice things up a bit.

I don't want her to dye her hair if it's going to cause problems either, this is just a passing thought


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I agree with golfergirl.

If you already need spicing up after 4 years......what's going to happen at the 10 year mark?


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## MrsOldNews (Feb 22, 2012)

Actually going from a darker color to blonde is worse for your hair. Because you have to bleach it to get that blonde back(or wait for it to grow out). Red is by far the hardest color to get out of your hair even by a professional. So if she goes redhead and wants to go back blonde she might end up with fried strawberry blonde hair. I have dyed my hair so many times in my lifetime and get compliments on its shine regardless if it's my natural color (dark brunette) or red or blonde or crazy highlights. If she takes care of her hair, uses great conditioner and doesn't blow dry often or use damaging hair care products her hair should remain in good condition. 

That being said, I wouldn't take it well if my SO prompted me to change my natural hair color. It would probably make me a little insecure and defensive of my beautiful brunette hair. I'd probably be thinking can't you just live me for who I am? Or something to that effect. Tread lightly my friend, a woman takes her hair very seriously lol.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> I'm just curious about this really...
> 
> Personally I reckon my wife would look really good with darker or dark red hair (she's natural blonde), but she is under the impression that it'll damage her hair (which she is very protective of). I've been looking up the net for more information and it turns out there may be complications later on such as dry hair / blotches / uneven colors etc etc... From blonde to a darker color yields more risk apparently too.
> 
> I'm just wondering if anyone has experience going from blonde to black or dark brown or auburn or dark red, and what complications were there and if it's possible to fix if the missus decides to go back to her natural color.


I went from auburn to blonde to auburn again in 2 years  You need a red base to cover blonde anyway, so it's a good choice to switch to. I did mine at home (not the blonde part though, that was salon), and it was fairly easy... In fact I've done it twice. 

She can look into Aveda products for damage control. And she may want to go to an Aveda professional (they use their products in several salons) if she's concerned about the damage. They will tell you using color from a box is one of the most horrible things you can do, that and using a flat iron everyday. I do both and still get plenty of compliments on my hair 

Good luck!


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> It's not that I don't love or accept her, or even her hair color. if that was the case I wouldn't be showing her my love everyday recently. But after 4 years, it's nice to spice things up a bit.
> 
> I don't want her to dye her hair if it's going to cause problems either, this is just a passing thought


Then go wig shopping for role play. Don't you understand the mind-f*ck you do on your wife? The fun-flirting and the difficulty you have with her being a different race or nationality. These things keep showing her she doesn't measure up for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ChubbieOwl (Nov 19, 2011)

golfergirl said:


> Then go wig shopping for role play. Don't you understand the mind-f*ck you do on your wife? The fun-flirting and the difficulty you have with her being a different race or nationality. These things keep showing her she doesn't measure up for you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree::iagree::iagree:
Maybe she is just making excuses not to do it because she just doesn't want to, but she doesn't want to tell you.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Get a wig. Or, go to a really good salon.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Just read your other thread where you are worried because you make your wife feel unattractive.

Are you seriously incapable of putting these two threads together?

Yes, you make her feel unattractive, and yes, this is a prime example of that. So here's a thought -- cut it out.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

If my husband told me he thought I should change my hair color, style, whatever, it wouldn't matter how he did it, all I would hear would be "You need improving, you aren't quite good enough for me".

I have never and will never dye my hair. If he doesn't like the color or the greys then he can either suck it up and keep his mouth shut because he realizes how shallow he is, or divorce me and try to find someone better, with the right hair color.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's a proven fact: dye will damage hair. It's science.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I color my hair. I'm very particular of my hair being healthy and good looking. I always highlight blonde colors.

To keep it from damaging I use oil. I use chi silk infusion and seaextend. Both on the pricey side, but worth it. I use both just after washing my hair. If I am using a flat iron, I use use extra seaextend. My two favorite hair products. I condition with matrix biolage conditioning balm. All bought on eBay or Amazon to save money.

I can not go dark or red. Over 50% of my hair turned grey and I'm in my late 30's. I have very long hair as well.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

MrsOldNews said:


> Actually going from a darker color to blonde is worse for your hair. Because you have to bleach it to get that blonde back(or wait for it to grow out). *Red is by far the hardest color to get out of your hair even by a professional. So if she goes redhead and wants to go back blonde she might end up with fried strawberry blonde hair.* I have dyed my hair so many times in my lifetime and get compliments on its shine regardless if it's my natural color (dark brunette) or red or blonde or crazy highlights. If she takes care of her hair, uses great conditioner and doesn't blow dry often or use damaging hair care products her hair should remain in good condition.
> 
> That being said, I wouldn't take it well if my SO prompted me to change my natural hair color. It would probably make me a little insecure and defensive of my beautiful brunette hair. I'd probably be thinking can't you just live me for who I am? Or something to that effect. Tread lightly my friend, a woman takes her hair very seriously lol.


Thanks for the heads up. I am natural blonde. Always did stay within various shades or blonde...til last year. Hubby suggested a change. And, while i had done red before due to hard, rusty water (so not by choice), I decided why not? He suggested red. Well, as you know, there are SOOOOOOO many shades to choose from! I asked the advice of another male friend (yea, dumb move, choose the shade my EA partner says )..and went with burgundy. Did you know you keep a purple tint to your hair for a couple weeks when you use burgundy? Now, with rapid growth, I had to touch up monthly. When EA ended, I wanted to get rid of ALL signs of this man's influence on my life. So... I went with a light brown. Still red tint to the hair. But, I will go blonde in a month or two. Just gonna color over it. I know I look good in shades of red and blonde, even strawberry blonde, so no worries there. 

My sister went with jet black for awhile, then wanted to go back blonde. bad move. Had to bleach her hair first. She actually had to do it more than once to strip the color. And that damages the hair more than dye does. Dude, just be happy with your wife as she is. Seriously, I see more about how you want her to change, and how you do things to disrespect her, to make her feel bad about herself. Why? Whether true or not, it SEEMS you get some perverse pleasure out of causing her pain/discomfort. Hair color isn't gonna fix things/spice them up. Actually appreciating her for who she is will do that. Showing her love without trying to change her will do that. C'mon, now... you have to know this....


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> If my husband told me he thought I should change my hair color, style, whatever, it wouldn't matter how he did it, all I would hear would be "You need improving, you aren't quite good enough for me".
> 
> I have never and will never dye my hair. If he doesn't like the color or the greys then he can either suck it up and keep his mouth shut because he realizes how shallow he is, or divorce me and try to find someone better, with the right hair color.


Just to clarify from my previous post... I wanted to dye my hair. I wanted to change color, but was uncertain if I just wanted dark blonde or something radically different. Hubby suggested red. Now, if I hadn't chosen to go with the other guy's suggestion, I'd likely stay with red. But, I want it gone.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm happy with her hair the way it is, but it's just my opinion that she would look really good with darker hair. From 20/10 to 25/10 in other words. But I guess it's going to difficult to portray such a message to her with my history.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I would love to darken my hair and discussed this with my hair stylist. She is fully against it and says its best to keep what I'm doing. She will add multi colored high and lowlights, which look pretty neat, but never a full color. She also will not cut too much off. If I asked her to cut it all off, she'd croak. I work very hard keeping my hair nice looking. I invest in the best of the best hair products and tools. I found a stylist I'm extremely happy with. 

My husband wishes I keep it long. I married him while having short hair, but I've grown it out quite long over the years. I do tease him that I'm off to cut it all off. Poor guy gets the funniest look on his face because he knows there is nothing he can do about it.


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## Going Mental (Apr 8, 2012)

I darkened my hair years ago and it was an unmitigated disaster as my hair ended up orange! This is not an unusual thing to happen when going from blonde to brunette/dark red. Proceed with extreme caution.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Random.... Maybe just spurge for a good wig for her?

Yes, she could look awesome with either darker hair color.

The biggest "damaging" is when (NOT if , but WHEN) she wants to go back... Its a big bleaching process. and potentially damage/ drying/ stripping straw effects. yes, oils can help that.. but, still damage potential.

If she goes to a darker red, the removal of it could end with the strawberry pale pink & she'd pretty much have to wait & grow it out. If she goes to a darker brunette, the removal would end up an orange... anywhere from pale orange to construction sign color orange. -- Or worse & probably more common... an awful army green tint.

Again... grow out time would be the biggest "correction" factor.

Plus... while she was darker, the root growth would be VERY noticable & it would cost a mint to keep up the color to the point of it looking "natural" all the time.

Just saying.. You're wife is right.. It's probably more of a hassle than you thought it would be... and potentially damaging. (but most potential on damage is when she goes back to her natural or blond color.)


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## Ilovemyhubby (Feb 21, 2012)

You may want her red cause it may turn you on. So tell her you would like to see her as a red head. So if you have kids get a sitter take her out to dinner. Go with her to a good wig shop experiment with what you both like. decide on one and take it home and try it out. save it for those special nights together. Maybe buy some lingerie to. don't ask her to dye her hair. It will damage it and don't get all hung up n her hair color you married her and now you want a redhead. Really my son did this with a great girl and lost her. Now he realizes. just because she didn't have blonde hair blues eyes like his mom he lost out. Work with your problem and see if she'll wear it while she makes breakfast or cleans. Hopefully that would fulfill why you need her to change to make you happy.Looks are only skin deep. Don't lose her over something so silly.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

So what we're saying here is that it's disrespectful to even ask a spouse to change a particular look? Breast implants I can understand. But hair color? What's the difference between that and asking your wife to get a different hairstyle, or asking your husband to shave his head because you think it's sexy? I guess what I'm saying is that as long as you're not nagging, what's the harm in asking?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Dr. Rockstar, Random has a certain history. If it were a neutral question, the answers might be different.


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