# possible separation (long)



## Juniorgaf (Jun 22, 2009)

hi all, my first time here. hopeyou can giveme your opinion. i have been married to my wife for 7 years. we have known each other snce we were 6 and are now 29. We always knew we were for each oter. she stills says it now. Her problems from what shes telling me is confusion. she say things have just been built up for 3 years and she is just not happy. its complicated because we just bought a new house. we also have 3 kids.4,8,and 9. all through this process shes been fine. really into the house. busting her but. we got a new puppy, i tought we had great times looking for different furniture, and she feels the same. a month and a half and shes said she just wants to stay by her sister and try to sort things out. now how i feel. One of the things she says still bothers her are things i said to her. we are both the type of people that when we drink if we fight says very hurtfull things. we stopped putting ourselves in that position and that hasnt happened since january. i was laid of from work for a good 6 months just before we got the house in april. we wee constantly together in the 2 bedroom apartment. i feel maybe we are burning out our love. i also feel throgh some of the times as recently as last week were really good. i feel there is still enough love to make the marriage work. i toldher to take a girls night with her sister, or go by her moms for a game night or so. im just havig a hard time being alone in thehose without her and the kids for the first time. Do you think theres a little depresion? and how do i go about giving her "space". todays is the first day im trying not even to call her. Do i call her? ask her hows she doing? ust not sure how to judge how much space im giving. In my heart i feel like shes just seeing if she will miss me by being away. i told her i felt like we were getting burnt out and she felt the same. but she also said she needs "Space". I just dont know where to go from her. Thanks


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## MrsVain (Feb 1, 2009)

Sounded like to me you both we doing good. I think you need to dig deeper into the "I need space" crap. although in your post you didnt say anything but my gut feeling is she found someone else and giving you a line. Please dont get me wrong, i might be completely off base, and i seriously hope i am. I am a female and even i dont understand why just out of the blue your wife would say she needs space and move out that quickly too. 

Personally, i wouldnt have done it like that, pulling your children to another home after just moving into a house. Being constantly together sometimes causes problems, but she could have done just about anything else, go to the park, get a job, go to school, visit her sister, to change things up and not leave.

i think you need to find out why she is not happy, and tell her how much this is hurting you and the kids. tell her that you want to make your marriage work and her being out of the house is NOT the answer. good luck


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