# I need to give me courage



## Overseer

Hello, 
We've been together for 15 years, separated for 11 months.

My wife always has been financial independent. I've been living in her house for 11 years and our daughter is 10 year old. They both are very lovely girls.

I noticed her strange behaviour 1 year ago, and realized that she has an emotional relationship with 12 year older married man. She pretended it isn't serious and she has no future with him. She blamed my selfishness as the main reason for her infidelity. And she proclaimed that I have never truly loved her.
I agreed the guilt was mine, still I was insulted.

After 5-6 months of argues and quarrels she told me that she loves me only for as a father of her child. 3 months ago she started her real love affair with the man. I began to pray day and night and God helped me - she split up with him after just 2-3 weeks. 
She called me and told me that she still likes me, but she was very stressed. She shared that she is very disappointed.

I am living 5 min far from them and my wife invites me almost every evening to have dinner with her and our daughter. She allow me to hug and touch her. We watch movies togehter as a family. I help her with the household chores, in her job and mostly for our kid. We have many phone calls during the day. Still she continue to refuse giving me a real kiss. She tells me she is not sure about my love to her, she is confused and she thinks that I am not the right person for her, and she is afraid that she wont be able to love me again. 

I am feeling empty without her love and cannot imagine a life without her. I have insulted her few times and now I doubt about my love to her.

I cannot stop wishing her, she has very sensitive personality and feelings, she is smart, lovely and disappointed by all males.

I am afraid if I win her I might insult and loose her again.

She is going to move to her parents and offered me to live in her luxury house meanwhile.

Please, give me advises and courage to win her back.

Do you think there is hope in this marriage?


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## Shaggy

I hate to say this cliche, but you really need to man up, you are a super nice guy. It comes through in your accepting blame for her having an affair. That is total BS. She cheated 100% on her own choice. It never was and never will be your fault. She has unfairly blame shifted to you.

As for it bring he house, well unless there is a prenup, it is your house too. It sounds like she has gone way overboard on what's mine in mine, and what's yours is ours. Frankly she sounds like an emotionally abusive person.

I would suggest that she has you do whipped that she has lost all respect for you, meanwhile your worried that showing any spine will drive her away.

Why would you want her back? She is selfish and cruel. Divorce her and you'll find life dies not have to be one of suffering under the whip of an emotionally abusive cheater.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Overseer

Shaggy,
I am not such a nice guy. I have my sins.
The house is her and I don't have any claims on her property.
May be you are right and she doesn't respect me.

There are proves she is not selfish.
During our separation she tried to get me back home but I refused
and she made her choice about the OM.

So now I have no home, no beautiful wife. Just my lovely daughter and some hopes about my marriage.


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## Overseer

In Friday we had a fight about our daughter education.
I've never seen her so angered, then she went out with a friend.
When she got home she apologised to me.
But this week she is different, she doesn't ask me to hug her and watch a movie togehter.

She told me again that she loves me a lot but only as a father of her child.


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## Overseer

During last weeks I was thinking she was falling in love again because she was telling that she is anxiety-free with me. But at the same time she thinks that she uses me asking me to stay near her every day. I am confused and disappointed.

I don't know how to act. She wants me just as friend and says she doesn't know if she will love me again.
Also she affirms that she doesn't meet the OM, and he doesn't call her.


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