# caught my husband in a lie



## mrsjones (Feb 25, 2012)

Hi everyone

I just found this forum when I was looking for marriage advice forums. 

I have been married for almost 10 years and we've had our ups and downs but we have always decided to stay together and we've gone through a lot together.

My husband has never lied to me, or so I though until last night. He was working late, that's what he told me. But on our bank account I saw a charge from a restaurant he often goes after work. I saw it at night, I had looked at the account couple hours before that and it wasn't there. I called him a little bit later, he is always home by then so I was wondering where he was. I asked him if he'd been to that restaurant. he said he did for lunch. and he told me he was on his way home on a certain street.

That didn't add up to me, why would the charge appear on our account hours later..and the street he was on didn't make sense either, if he was coming from where he said he was he wouldn't be anywhere near that way.

When he got home smelling like alcohol, I asked if he had lied to me. He said no, then he added that he went to another restaurant for a work thing and had some drinks there.

None of this was making sense to me so after he fell asleep (passes out on the couch) I checked his phone. I know I shouldn't do that but I couldn't help but think something is up. I saw multiple texts to his coworkers that he is at that one restaurant. none were saying anything about work. 

In the morning when he was getting ready to leave for work I asked again where was he last night. He said at work and was getting annoyed. I said you're lying, I told him I read his texts and I know where he was. He said there's no texts to read and left for work.

Then we were texting back and forth, I was saying I'm very dissapointed and can't understand why he would feel he needs to lie about it. He won't admit it. He says the restaurant must have ran his card hours later (does he think I'm an idiot??) and that the texts were tp his friends asking if they were at that restaurant. 

I know what I read. And of course he turned this on me, I don't trust him....I'm so annoyed right now. I know what he's doing. His thing is if you start a lie, stick with it and believe it...I just can't believe he's doing that to me. 

I don't know what to do now...I know he lied, he won't admit it and is mad at me now for not trusting him...


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## MaybeItsMe? (Oct 26, 2011)

I have had things show up on my card days after I purchased them. It depend how the system works. Some store the transactions and send them out in batches (so not to keep the customer waiting) others go direct to the bank and do it there and then.


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## mrsjones (Feb 25, 2012)

Thank you for you reply.

The way our cards work is once you pay it shows as pending on our account, then 1-3 days later it gets processed.

If that was the only thing indicating that he's lying I would let it go. but the texts on his phone prove more. 

I just hate that he turned it around and now the issue is that I don't trust him.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

He could be telling the truth about the restaurant.

But the texts....hm...what did they say?

Does he ever go out with friends? Do you give him a hard time when he does?


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## mrsjones (Feb 25, 2012)

one of the texts was to his coworker, in the first one asking if he's coming out. the coworker said he can't tonight. then my husband had texted him about 2 hours later saying still here..the coworker said back that you must be hammered..my husband said not really

there were couple other ones asking if other people were coming there. I mean if he wasn't there why would ask so many people if they're coming. 

Oh and one text was asking what's the name of the bartender...the friend replied Tara

He does go out every once in a while, may every other week or so. I don't have a problem with that and I don't give him a hard time for that.

Tonight he's going to his friends bachelor party and that he know I don't like (strippers) but I've been saying that obviously he's going.

I was thinking that maybe he didn't want to say he's going out because he'll be going out tonight too...


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## KittyKat (May 11, 2008)

Not knowing what other problems you've had and decided to "stick with each other", I'll go just directly on what's stated.

1. He smelled of alcohol when he got home
2. I know exactly what you are talking about regarding the money coming out of the acct. Yes, whatever time it shows on your statement is the time it occurred.
3. Unless you are blind, you read the text messages correctly
4. He lied to you, you know this already
5. The above has nothing to do with the bachelor party
6. He wanted to know what the bartender's name is, which is Tara
7. He lied to you, you know this already
8. Go to the rest. and check out the bartender
9. He lied to you, you know this already
10. Where do you draw the line? When will you decide what is enough?


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## mylife1956 (Feb 26, 2012)

If is looks like a duck and quacks like a duck. Im just sayin!


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## misticli (Oct 28, 2011)

Sure, clearly points to him lying, but the question I would be asking is why? This sounds like a man who lied to get out of the house for a bit with some friends because he did not want to argue with you or make you feel bad about needing some alone time. Time to talk about it and work it out, more respect needed on both your parts.


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