# Navy newlyweds-caught him sexting



## Sara- (Oct 30, 2014)

I can't even begin to tell you how stressed out I am and I cry almost everyday because I'm at my breaking point. 

My hubby and I have been together 5 years, married since Valentine's Day '14, and are both 21 (I know, we are both young). We worked so hard to get me to the military base a 1000 miles away and spent a couple months in the barracks so we can buy our own home. The bank was hesitant at first because he's been in the Navy for less than two years, but approved us as long as I had a full time job. At the time I had one, but a week after we moved in I was let go. Since then, I've applied to dozens of jobs with few interviews and can't provide anything financially now. My car payment is always late and his paycheck is all gone within a few days because he pays for all the bills at once. If I don't find one by Dec. 1, the bank will take over the house.

I'm a full time student so a lot of my time goes towards my education. This week was very important because it's midterms. But, it was VERY difficult to focus. I found disgusting sexting on my husband's phone. I don't snoop on his stuff because I trusted him. After working an 18 hour shift, he was sleeping and someone kept texting him. I thought it was his boss so I checked to make sure in case it was important, but I was greeted with messages from four other girls (nude/semi nude pictures, explicit messages). I was in shock, because they were sexting things that I have been trying to do with him for months (Our sex life became non existent after we married because I gained 30 pounds last year and he said my weight just turns him off). Plus, the fact I transferred colleges, left my family, and basically changed my life to be here near the Navy base. 

When I confronted him, he promised that he never met with any of these girls and just 'wanted to talk to other people' on fling.com. Plus, he said I'm putting him under a lot of stress with my attitude (ok?). We did a lot of arguing and I was this close to packing my suitcase and flying back to Indiana with my family. When he saw I was serious, he immediately begged me to stay and to work it out. 

So, it's been 5 days later and things aren't so awkward like they were that night, but I lost my trust in him. I'd like to schedule a counselor next week but I don't know if he will agree. On top of all of this, my car window stopped working yesterday and got soaked over night (4000$ just went into my car from an accident and every last penny from my account went towards fixing). After struggling with my midterms today, I just broke down from the stress from everything that's been going on since I flew here to be with him since May. My debt, the sexting, lies, my car, school, trying to lose weight, no intimacy, bills, being a 1000 miles away from family/friends, and being home alone for 18 hours a day.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

You are so young and no children. File for divorce and start moving on. If he wants to make it work he will have to do a huge amount of work. I would just divorce immediately and never look back though. What do you think is going to happen when you get pregnant? You want your husband out bonking other women while you are incubating his baby?

There are all kinds of other men and they won't treat you this way. I say just divorce and move on. It's not easy but it will make you stronger in the long run. You've got so much life ahead of you!


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

How is it that you're alone at home 18 hours a day when you have so much school?

How does a guy get nude shots from four different girls simultaneously?

Which naval base?

What rank does your husband have in the military?

Something's off about your story.


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

Yikes. There's a LOT going on here, not least of which is his betrayal of you during a time of need.

You should be in individual counseling, through One Source if that's still available. Go to the finance office for help with your financial stressors. Have you applied to jobs on base, restaurants, everywhere? You should also find a marriage counselor with experience in infidelity. 

Please order the book "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Glass. I realize it's not exactly your situation, but it has a lot of pertinent a,d helpful info. 

Lastly, please be sure you are taking care of yourself and putting your needsfirst during this very difficult time. Do not cheapen forgiveness by giving it before it is earned. 

I was a young military wife too, and my husband chested on me. My best advice is to protect yourself emotionally, mentally, and financially.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

P.s.- if he is cheating on you now, during your honeymoon period, what will happen when you've been married 2, 3, 7, 10 years and you have kids and more pressures and he ships out to sea and is even more stressed?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Cut and run. Sorry. Indiana looks pretty good after reading your story. 

Maybe you both are really too young for this. I fear your husband will not stop. Being near loved ones may help.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

commonsenseisn't said:


> How is it that you're alone at home 18 hours a day when you have so much school?
> 
> How does a guy get nude shots from four different girls simultaneously?
> 
> ...


And got married at, what, fourteen? Can you even do that?

But I don't like to jump on the troll wagon. Real people do come here with terror in there hearts.


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> And got married at, what, fourteen? Can you even do that?
> 
> But I don't like to jump on the troll wagon. Real people do come here with terror in there hearts.


She said they met 5 years ago and just got married at age 21. Not even remotely uncommon in the military.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sara- (Oct 30, 2014)

I am taking online classes through OSU. His rank is E-4. Also, he was talking to four different girls, but only one was sending him nudes.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Hi, Sara. I was in the Navy for 8 years. I am also in my 50's and have been around.

The military is a cesspool for this type of stuff. The navy is probably the worst. Your husband is telling you he has neither love nor respect for you. I suspect he has no respect for any woman and never will. He is deeply immature.

I realize things look so bleak for you, but this will pass. My best suggestion is to head for home and have the marriage annulled. Consider a bankruptcy and start fresh. It will hurt and take time, but you will come out better and stronger and in time find someone who values you for you.


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## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Listen to thatbpguy. I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Hang out around here. There is much support. You have your entire life to live! Don't give up now.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Listen to thatbpguy. I'm sorry that this has happened to you. *Hang out around here. There is much support. You have your entire life to live! Don't give up now.*


 

:iagree: You sound like you've got a lot on the ball. If it comes down to a separation, don't beat yourself up over it. You deserve a happy and fulfilled life. Doesn't sound like you're going to find that with this guy. And by the way, 30 pounds isn't such a terrible weight gain. He's only using that as an excuse to participate in his sexting hobby. I'm sure if we saw your photograph you would prove to be quite pretty. It's all on him. Be well and happy. Life is short.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

commonsenseisn't said:


> How is it that you're alone at home 18 hours a day when you have so much school?
> 
> How does a guy get nude shots from four different girls simultaneously?
> 
> ...


No, there's something off with your reading.

Her husband had just finished an 18 hour shift. She hadn't been at home for 18 hours.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Sara, if he'll do this to you during the honeymoon period of your marriage, just imagine what he'd be doing at year 15?

Don't give him the chance. Deal with him now by divorcing him.


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## Genevieve777 (Aug 20, 2014)

Sara - Your husband was planning to cheat and you caught him red handed. You deserve so much better. Did you decide to head back to Indiana and separate?


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

sorry to hear. military marriages are difficult during the best of times. then it can get worse.

give yourselves some freedom. he is not mature enough for marriage. just file the paperwork and move on. you will find a decent man.


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