# What to do first??



## Summer1320 (Jul 1, 2010)

I have decided that divorce is best for my husband and I as I cannot live with his issues and he will not change.

For those of you going through this, can you please give me some advice? I'm very nervous and scared. I have consulted with a lawyer to see how divorce works in my state. 

Should I file for divorce before telling my husband? Or should I tell him first? When do we decide who gets what assets? I believe we will be able to agree on who gets what. I hope!

Your advice is much appreciated!


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## stalemate (May 13, 2010)

Summer1320 said:


> I have decided that divorce is best for my husband and I as I cannot live with his issues and he will not change.
> 
> For those of you going through this, can you please give me some advice? I'm very nervous and scared. I have consulted with a lawyer to see how divorce works in my state.
> 
> ...



I'd say it depends on what you think his reaction will be. If he is a reasonable person to deal with you might be able to cut some of the costs of divorce by working out a property settlement yourselves. 

When I left my ex I spoke with a lawyer first and then told my husband before the papers were filed. He didn't try to fight it so it was as amicable as possible.


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