# Can men go for periods of months without sex or masterbation?



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My husband has zero drive during this period in our life. He shows me effection but has no desire to get hard at all. He spends his time drawing house designs, playing video games and watching tv. 

I know he feels very bad for not bring able to provide a house for his family. We tried everything we could to move out of state where he's going to be working. 

It feels for him at least through my eyes that everything has to be perfect in life for him to want sexual activity
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

He needs to have his testosterone level checked. He may be very depressed.

Use it or lose it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yes they can.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

For me the answer is no. I've not had sex in six months, when wife said she wanted a divorce. If it wasn't for masturbation I wouldve gone mad by now
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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Well, I do know men can go at least 4 weeks without anything for sure. My husband has done so a couple times. He doesn't masturbate at all (I have told him I'd be fine if he did, he doesn't. Not gonna debate that with anyone. We're both home all day. He doesn't). And there were a couple months when we didn't have sex at all. They weren't consecutive months, but still, we went without it. So, yes, they can go without any kind of sexual release for at least a month, for sure.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Not THIS man...


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Really, it's not a matter of CAN they... it's more about WILL they. Physically, anyone can go without it. Not everyone is willing to do that tho. Not saying it's necessarily a bad thing either way, just saying that it CAN be done, if someone so chooses to do so.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My hubby has been pretty LD for a while. I don't doubt he's depressed. He seems to have normal drive when we are on vacation or on a short get away. although our last vacation post affairs, the sex was not the same. He was not as bashful. I was hoping for shower sex or the suprise bathroom sex. He never surprised me and just took me like he used too. 

I think he has very deep guilt for what he did 

During the time we were seperated he was able to have a sexual affair so I know his plumbing works. I think he is really depressed. I'm hoping time will heal. I know when he's working snd making good $$ he feels better about himself.
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## Cupcake37 (Nov 19, 2011)

Yes they can! My husband has happily gone years without sex and isn't bothered! Lucky me.....I am sorry you are in this situation and hope things improve for you soon, it is the most soul destroying thing and I do sympathise with you XXX


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## Vanton68 (Feb 5, 2012)

I can't, but a LD man certainly could
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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

I would say no they cant go for periods of days without.


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

No I can not go more than a week without sex or I start to go insane.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My husband has now gone for at least 27 days with out sex and longer than that as far as cummin. He has zero interest in sex.

Before our seperation we averaged once every 3 months for at least 9 months. 

If this zero sex lasts even after our stress is gone and we are lining together again in a house, then I'm really going to ask to go to a MC that specializes in sexual issues and have him go to the dr for a physical
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

The longest I've gone that I can remember is about a week. Since being with my GF, I'd rather use our "down time" to build sexual tension, rather than just achieve a release on my own. So when one of us goes away for holidays or vacation, we both just let the tension build. 

And then she walks funny for a few days after we get back together... 

In my opinion, something is "wrong" with your husband if he's gone months. Either in your relationship or mentally/emotionally or physically. But that's just my personal opinion.

C
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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Yes, we can but it`s not generally the preferred method of living.

Get him checked.


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## Cookie99 (May 21, 2012)

Well

Yes the real answer is will they but yes they can.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

PBear said:


> The longest I've gone that I can remember is about a week. Since being with my GF, I'd rather use our "down time" to build sexual tension, rather than just achieve a release on my own. So when one of us goes away for holidays or vacation, we both just let the tension build.
> 
> And then she walks funny for a few days after we get back together...
> 
> ...


Tonight I hinted at that I needed love...and he said he gives me love all the time...I said I need husband and wife love....he said he couldn't because he has too much stress, says he has never had this much stress in his life. He said I needed to wait until we get settled....

I'm guessing "settled" means when we can rent a house together in the state he's going to be working in. In the mean time I'll be living with his parents while he's away. 

The car race is on tonight and he said hopefully we will be able to see the next race in November, because we will be down there. So I guess I have to wait until November?

I don't think my husband has any type of desire while he's so stressed. So this time is because he's very stressed and before our seperation was because he was resentful of me.

For some reason before the period of time he was resentful, he had sexual performance anxiety.
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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Everybody handles stress differently. But I was working 90 hour weeks, and had just separated from my STBXW when I met my current GF. That it was too soon is the topic for another post. But we still quickly got into a once a day sex life pattern, and we're in our early 40's.

Didn't he hook up with someone elsewhen you two were separated? Where was his stress then?

C
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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

OP so what's your REAL question? What are you really worried about?


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

PBear said:


> Everybody handles stress differently. But I was working 90 hour weeks, and had just separated from my STBXW when I met my current GF. That it was too soon is the topic for another post. But we still quickly got into a once a day sex life pattern, and we're in our early 40's.
> 
> Didn't he hook up with someone elsewhen you two were separated? Where was his stress then?
> 
> ...


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I mean holding out hope!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> OP so what's your REAL question? What are you really worried about?


I'm worried that my Husband loves me, but is not sexually attracted to me. Little comments that he's made in the past even if it's just once bothers me, coupled with this non sex!! He dies not talk about my boobs now, finally!! But he did talk about how he wanted them to be bigger and that my nipple area was too large, right after he moved back in. I felt compared to OW breasts everyday. I also learned something else that he never said before our seperation. He says he can not fit his whole penis inside anymore for that deep feint because I had a hysterectomy taking out my cervix. He only mentioned it once. Now I can look back on our sex post hysterectomy and remember that he doesn't go balls in. If there is a surgery to correct this, I would do it for him. We have not talked about it again after he said he can't go balls in
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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Your husband is an ass. There, problem diagnosed!

C
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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

PBear said:


> Your husband is an ass. There, problem diagnosed!
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have to second this. Obviously I don't know him and only get your descriptions but he sounds like an a$$ to me...


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Yes my husband can totally be an ass!! He's stopped saying what he used to say, but damage is done.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

blueskies30 said:


> Yes my husband can totally be an ass!! He's stopped saying what he used to say, but damage is done.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Except he's continuing to be an ass...

If one of his good buddy's needed help for an hour, I'd bet he could find the energy to go over to his buddy's place and help out, right? But he can't work up enough energy to help you out with your needs? What kind of bull pucky is that? What does that say about how important your happiness is to him?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

blueskies30 said:


> I'm worried that my Husband loves me, but is not sexually attracted to me. Little comments that he's made in the past


Those don't sound like little comments. They sound like huge big deal comments meant to belittle you.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I don't know if the comments are meant to belittle me or not. He always says I take things too seriously. He's a little odd and I'm thinking he is aspergers. We have a son with autism and a daughter with aspergers.

He just says he is uninterested in sex at all right now cause of the stress. 

When he goes out of state to set up to work, he wants me to go with him and then I fly back on a one way ticket. So I guess that's good that he wants me to go with him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Yes... but its relatively unhealthy to do so.

Men NEED to ejaculate at least once every week or so to decrease risk of all sorts of health issues.... especially prostate, stress, heart etc.

More important when involved on a relationship just due to the psychological wear and tear on the male mind. 

I've had to go up to 6 months without sex... during the time frame of our sexless marriage time frame (2.5 years out of 18). I've never given up masturbating strictly for the health benefits....and keeping myself mentally sane.

Thankfully this period of my life is "almost" over. Wife and I finally see 100% eye to eye and are working towards a healthy marriage together. Stay tuned for how we got there in the next few months...after real world results are evident and lasting.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I worry about his health too, but I doubt he cares about the health risks involved in him not releasing at least once a week. He hasn't released in over a month cause our last time, he did not cum. He said he got distracted because his head was hitting the head board. The sex wasn't as fulfilling to me because he didn't cum. I like part of him inside me.

It just seems if his life isnts near perfect he has no desire for sex or masterbation. I know he's not self pleasuring because we are together all the time.

I think part of his non sex is this house. He said in the past before he moved back in that he could never live in this house again cause there were too many bad memories. 
We are moving tomorrow, but not into a house that will be ours or renting. We are moving in with his parents and then my husband is getting ready to leave out of state to work
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My thoughts... Your husband is just making up excuses to not be intimate with you. His head was hitting the headboard? Come on now! There's a pretty easy fix for that. I would guess that once you move, there will be a continuous stream of excuses until you give up or something blows up.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

PBear said:


> My thoughts... Your husband is just making up excuses to not be intimate with you. His head was hitting the headboard? Come on now! There's a pretty easy fix for that. I would guess that once you move, there will be a continuous stream of excuses until you give up or something blows up.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I guess we will see what happens after we move, packing as we speak, but have taken a small
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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

I'm truly surprised at the female posters who have responded in the affirmative. 

In a healthy male where everything is working properly, the sexual apparatus produces a fluid and the fluid is stored. Like your lungs or your stomach or your bladder or any other containment organ, storage capacity is finite.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

He's also been not wanting to have sex after his hernia surgery in Febuary. While we were on our cruise in late march we had sex 4 times and he was able to perform fully each time, but did say it hurt a little.
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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My husband went our entire marraige without masterbating, he felt that was like cheating -his words not mine.... I only learned this 3 yrs ago when I opened up the dialog about masterbation, we were too embarrassed to talk about it before....
I told him I was a cheater then! I was shocked he never did, and he was shocked I did. 

We always had sex at least once a week though cause I needed it that much, during pregnancy even more. He told me when he was younger, before we met, he would masterbate 3 times a day though.

At age 48, I think he could easily go a whole week, probably more-without going crazy.... his test is lower than the average for men his age (had him tested 3 yrs ago)...but I won't let him go that long to find out...then I'd be going crazy.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I think my Husbabd might have a number of things going on. I know he's ver depressed and I suspect he still has anger towards me and the things I did with my affair and I also suspect he has guilt for his sexual affair. I can only hold onto hope that when life us better he will sexually awaken
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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

I think your husband could use some psychological counseling. He sounds depressed to me, he might also have some form of obsessive compulsive disorder (his need for everything to be just so in order to be stress-free and able to enjoy sex, for example). You already suspect he may have Asperger's.

I would get him evaluated before things get worse. You said he had low testosterone as well. Is he doing anything to resolve that issue? Lack of T could certainly be contributing to the other issues you described.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Yes they can.


None of the ones I know! Sorry to disagree!


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

I think I already answered but if not, I could never go more than a 3 days without releasing. At the 3 day mark my ejaculation looks like urination and it doesn't stop. I am not sure if my body makes too much semen because I never quit but either way, I get super uncomfortable and have had bouts with prostatitis because of leaving my prostate too full.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My husband is very depressed and I doubt he's going to do anything about it. It's a very depressing time. U actually didn't know how depressed he was until last night when he said hes a piece of ****. His depressing is because we have lost our house and we are moving out now. We could not rent a house on our own, so we have to live seperate.

Last night I said we lost the house because of me. I'm the one who kicked him out last end of August. If I had not done that then maybe we would still have our house and he would be happy, but he still would be leaving to work out of state in AZ. I know in my heart we would still lose the house at some point due to unable to sell it without putting loads of money into it. My husband also might be going out of country for work and I couldn't possibly stay in this house living as a single mom.

I don't know if he has low T, he's never been tested. He does need to go have physical done, but I doubt he will do that. You can't make a man go to the dr especially when he itching to get back to work.

He does not feel like a man right now because he can't provide a home for his family and he's been out of work. There has been work waiting for him in AZ, but he's not gone yet because of our housing situation. 

My Husband does have OCD and I've known that for a long while. It's a real pain in the butt, but I can't do a thing about it.

Perhaps I could get a divorce, but what would that solve? 

I just have to hope that things will get better in the next coming months. My husband does not hold out much faith. He seems to always want instant gratification
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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Ok...so the answer to how long he can go without having sex where he comes is about 2 months. It's been about 2 weeks since he surprised me with the great sex. While I was packing up one bathroom ( we were moving) and he was packing up the master bathroom, he called me in for help. He had found my vibrator and told me to drop my pants. He used my vibrator on me (that was a first) then he said ok it's time for the real thing now. I'd not felt him this big and this hard in a long time. 

Unfortunatly sex like that isn't going to happen for a long long time. We are now living with his parents and he's getting ready to leave to work in AZ tomorrow
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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

Granted I'm not married yet, just engaged. But we have been living together for 3 years now and together for 6.

Every guy is different, and I'm certainly a HD guy myself. But that being said. I can't go very long. After 2-3 days my fiancee knows its been to long. I just get mean and crabby. I dunno about other guys, but masterbation helps me, but not much. It isn't nearly the same.

I also think he is making up excuses. There isn't much that would stop me or most of my friends. My fiancee even makes jokes about that. I've been injured at work and had to go to the ER and still initiated the next day.

That's just me thou. I have a married friend who says he hasn't had sex for 4 years due to the meds his wife is on killing her drive.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

blueskies30 said:


> I'm worried that my Husband loves me, but is not sexually attracted to me. Little comments that he's made in the past even if it's just once bothers me, coupled with this non sex!! He dies not talk about my boobs now, finally!! But he did talk about how he wanted them to be bigger and that my nipple area was too large, right after he moved back in. I felt compared to OW breasts everyday. I also learned something else that he never said before our seperation. He says he can not fit his whole penis inside anymore for that deep feint because I had a hysterectomy taking out my cervix. He only mentioned it once. *Now I can look back on our sex post hysterectomy and remember that he doesn't go balls in. If there is a surgery to correct this, I would do it for him. We have not talked about it again after he said he can't go balls in*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Is this a typo? Or have me and my H been doing it wrong? 

And as for your question, I sure hope they can (go without sex at least), my H was in jail for 7 months... Apparently they're not allowed to masturbate either (destruction of gov't property - no joke)... Of course he did


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Cherry, the ban against porn and masturbation in prisons has always struck me as particularly stupid...I mean, really, if there's one population that you'd like to be as happy and non-aggressive as possible, wouldn't it be a prison population? Nah, let's make sure they're all frustrated and angry. That'll work! (Me, I'd pipe porns into their cells 24/7. No riots on my watch  )


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## Eagle441977 (May 7, 2012)

Sounds like he may be depressed, but also like he may not be interested in you sexually and you are allowing him to be non sexual by accepting his excuses. Stress or now stress he should have a physical need to ejaculate. I have not gone 3 days without sex or mastubation since I was 13 and I am 42 now. I have a very high drive though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Eagle441977 said:


> Sounds like he may be depressed, but also like he may not be interested in you sexually and you are allowing him to be non sexual by accepting his excuses. Stress or now stress he should have a physical need to ejaculate. I have not gone 3 days without sex or mastubation since I was 13 and I am 42 now. I have a very high drive though.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My husband is stressed, I know for sure. Our road to reconsilstion was an up/down roller coaster because he tried to hide his infedility. 
He moved in our family home new years then January 30th he got laid off...then in may our home foreclosed and 2 weeks ago we moved into his parents house. I think he's had a lot of stress and many flash backs of me telling him to move out last August. 

I think for some reason he's able to ignore his physical need to ejaculate. Lately he says one of his testickles is sore. I suspect that it's because he hasn't ejaculated. He's saying it's because of his surgery in Febuary. He's been totally healed from his surgery for a while. 2 weeks ago he iniated such rough sex that it made me bleed, so he's fully healed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, honey. No, men cannot ignore their physical need to ejaculate. If they do, they have wet dreams.

I don't know what kind of story he's selling you, but I ain't buying it.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Much to the chagrin of my prostate...yes it is possible. With very uncomfortable physical ramifications that my urologist thought was absurd for a 30 year old. I'm just reaching a point where I refuse to take the hands on approach.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

sinnister said:


> Much to the chagrin of my prostate...yes it is possible. With very uncomfortable physical ramifications that my urologist thought was absurd for a 30 year old. I'm just reaching a point where I refuse to take the hands on approach.


I think my husband needs to see a urologist so maybe a dr csn tell him he needs to have sex or oral stimulation at least once a week.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Trying2figureitout said:


> I've had to go up to 6 months without sex... during the time frame of our sexless marriage time frame (2.5 years out of 18). I've never given up masturbating strictly for the health benefits....and keeping myself mentally sane.
> 
> Thankfully this period of my life is "almost" over. Wife and I finally see 100% eye to eye and are working towards a healthy marriage together. Stay tuned for how we got there in the next few months...after real world results are evident and lasting.


 Trying, you said the exact same thing 6 months ago.

You also said that if she didn't start having sex with you by February, you were divorcing her.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Rubbish. Men can go w.o. release as long as women can. I haven't has sex in 20 years. Haven't been aroused at all in more than 10. I've been a urologist there's zero wrong with the plumbing and my t level now is fine for years with a prescription. Saying they can't go without is like making an excuse for men who cheat because their harpy wife won't mess around with them.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Rubbish. Men can go w.o. release as long as women can. I haven't has sex in 20 years. Haven't been aroused at all in more than 10. I've been a urologist there's zero wrong with the plumbing and my t level now is fine for years with a prescription. Saying they can't go without is like making an excuse for men who cheat because their harpy wife won't mess around with them.


The ability to reabsorb semen varies from person to person to person. Congestive prostatitus is real. Symptoms include pain in the perineal region and the discharge of small amounts of blood from the penis during erection. It feels like urinating broken glass -- Very unpleasant.

This aspect of male physiology isn't an excuse to cheat unless 'Rosy palm and her five sisters' count as people


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## GhostRydr (Jun 2, 2012)

Well my first marriage at the end I went 2 yrs no sex with my wife but I masturbated all the time with release. When things were good I masturbated about 2x a week no release

This marriage its been 4 months no sex but I masturbate daily and only allow myself release about once every 2-3 weeks. I like the feeling of delayed release.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

To answer the OP, yes we can go without sex for long periods... I'm totally chaste since yesterday and i'm holding myself pretty alright.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I'm hoping now he can go long periods without sex because we are in a long distance marriage right now while we get our selves financially secure again. He's working out of state and I'm living with his parents and our 3 kids. I may possibly fly to see him in August
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I can go for long periods even without mast. This has happened before when I immersed myself into a project I was working on, day and night. That went for about 8 weeks.
There have been other times when I spent 2 weeks deep in the forests with other men hunting and didn't even desire sex until I reached home and she jumped me.


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

What has two thumbs and can't go a day without having an orgasm?

THIS GUY

*points at myself with my thumbs*



Does that work in text format?


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Can men go for long periods without sex? Yes.
Is it normal for them to not want sex? No.
Do they want to have sex? Normally they should, yes.
Is there something wrong with a man who does not want sex? Yes.

He sounds depressed, like he doesn't feel man enough because he cannot provide for his family. And I agree on the getting testosterone checked.


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## DocD (Jul 6, 2012)

Not at all. I can only speak for my self but I need some "relief" every couple days.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I bet if you were in a prison camp and you got beat every time you jacked off, you'd learn you didn't need it so much.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Right now I know if we could we would have sex. He's 800 miles away and there is currently no plane tickets bought for me to come see him. 

Today I took
A pic of me wearingy underwear and sent it to him. He said why do I tease him, it's bad enough that he can't see me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Of course. I have a high drive, and during a long period of celibacy I did. And there are religious men who do, and it has NOTHING to do with them having no natural drive.

Some people simply have more self control than others.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Yes but, being depressed or having anxiety was typically the reason I didn't want sex. I also took meds which messed with my libido. I also did not take the steps I needed to get over this problem. Although, sometimes I would masturbate because the one med I took seemed to force premature you know. The masturbation seemed to help me last a little longer for her. But, sometimes it backfired too.


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