# Paralyzed due to Fear



## daibai (Sep 10, 2013)

Do you really think talking to her husband is involving him in your marriage? Isn't it his marriage, too? 

Do what if your husband gets upset that you talked to her husband. Being afraid of "drama " isn't going to get you anywhere. If you want to stop the affair you need to do what you must to shake things up and show your husband that you won't take his infidelity and secretiveness any longer. You cannot avoid drama. 

If you act from a position of fear you will lose the battle. You can just start the divorce proceeding and see where you end up with it. 

If you don't want a divorce you have to be brave. This is your marriage. Are you willing to fight for it? It is said many times here on TAM that you must be willing to lose your marriage to save it. If you think about it the risk isn't that great because if things continue as they are he will probably leave you. 

Don't worry about the OW. Don't act to protect her from anything or anyone. If she has a problem with her husband's reaction she can handle it herself. She can call the cops or leave or shoot him in the head. It is her problem and you wouldn't be the cause. Her cheating is the cause. 

Does physical infidelity change your desire to stay with him? With his feelings for her and all of the opportunity it is likely to be physical. 

Then the question is can you love with that on top of his expressed love for her? 

I have to say that I couldn't get past the combination and the deception. 

How long has the OW been married? How much of a haul would she pull in a divorce? Are you in a state where infidelity counts?
Posted via Mobile Device
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This was ClipClop2's reponse to my recent post --- techie surveillance need help!---. I have proof but the advice was right on target. I am very fearful to confront because I am afraid of losing him. So I am posting on the CWI forum.

I have proof, I have the OW husband's cellphone number. WHat is wrong with me?

My H is in a fog and in love with another woman. I cancelled a MC session for tomorrow because the elephant in the room will be the OW so I feel it is a waste of time and $. I am hoping that his affair will just will blow over but I can't eat, sleep or work. It is affecting my health.

Thank you


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

He deserves to know. The best way to stop an affair in its tracks is to expose it. So what if your H gets upset. He needs to be upset.


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## tainted (Aug 16, 2013)

Nothing is going to change unless you make it change. Expose his affair and tell the OWH. You will lose your husband if you just sit by and do nothing.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Get the book "Surviving an Affair". It will tell you how the end the affair. It explains why you have to tell the OW's husband.


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