# This site is causing problems!



## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

I have lurked here for a while, this is my first thread. This week I have been reading alot in the the Sex section. Let the problems begin!
We have been married over 25years and he is my first and only partner. Things have slowed down over the years but we still enjoy each other 2 maybe 3 times a week. I have always been more shy when it comes to the bedroom. I have no problems enjoying sex, I guess it comes to not being adventurous? 
I have been reading these threads and getting urges that I haven't felt in years. My husband always wanted to go down on me, which has happened but not often. In reading here I am finding out that alot of men really do enjoy it. (I never believed him when he told me he did) The different threads I read want to make me explore even more than that. He now is out of town for 3 days and I don't know what I am going to do!!! Also what is he going to think when he comes home and I want it all??


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Is there some reason you can't just tell him about this place?


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## heli-pilot hubby (Oct 8, 2013)

Speaking as a man, if I were to come home and my wife hit me with all of this I would think I had died and gone to heaven! Tell him you missed him, and let him know what you have been thinking. If he questions why, then share this site with him. Tell him that it has opened your eyes to the fact that sex between married people is a smorgasboard and you want to try it all.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

What's wrong with the truth? You're putting to much thought into it. If I came home one day and my wife wanted me to go down on her, I wouldn't ask why I'd just do it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Oh and for the next three days send him some "naughty" text messages maybe a few naughty pics....have fun with it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Brandy905 said:


> I have lurked here for a while, this is my first thread. This week I have been reading alot in the the Sex section. Let the problems begin!
> We have been married over 25years and he is my first and only partner. Things have slowed down over the years but we still enjoy each other 2 maybe 3 times a week. I have always been more shy when it comes to the bedroom. I have no problems enjoying sex, I guess it comes to not being adventurous?
> I have been reading these threads and getting urges that I haven't felt in years. My husband always wanted to go down on me, which has happened but not often. In reading here I am finding out that alot of men really do enjoy it. (I never believed him when he told me he did) The different threads I read want to make me explore even more than that. He now is out of town for 3 days and I don't know what I am going to do!!! Also what is he going to think when he comes home and I want it all??


That's adorable!

Send him text messages recalling past times when he went down on you. Tell him you've been thinking about it and now feel more comfortable and are eager to see if he is also still eager to do that for you.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Sbrown said:


> Oh and for the next three days send him some "naughty" text messages maybe a few naughty pics....have fun with it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You beat me to it!


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

Communicate , communicate ...... communicate 

Let him know what you've read and learned with him when he returns ...... and ask him how he feels about such topics without judging him. I'm sure he'll appreciate the your new outlook and be pleasantly surprised !!

And ohhhh welcome to TAM and good luck


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

Sounds like some "good" problems to have.


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## magenta (Feb 20, 2014)

Brandy905 said:


> I have lurked here for a while, this is my first thread. This week I have been reading alot in the the Sex section. Let the problems begin!
> We have been married over 25years and he is my first and only partner. Things have slowed down over the years but we still enjoy each other 2 maybe 3 times a week. I have always been more shy when it comes to the bedroom. I have no problems enjoying sex, I guess it comes to not being adventurous?
> I have been reading these threads and getting urges that I haven't felt in years. My husband always wanted to go down on me, which has happened but not often. In reading here I am finding out that alot of men really do enjoy it. (I never believed him when he told me he did) The different threads I read want to make me explore even more than that. He now is out of town for 3 days and I don't know what I am going to do!!! Also what is he going to think when he comes home and I want it all??


This sounds just like me! I really struggled with communicating what I wanted to try with him (what would he think!?). So I mentioned what I had been reading about and asked him if it was something he would be interested in. He said yes and I was quite embarrassed by the whole conversation. I ended up buying the book others had mentioned, She Comes First. He is almost finished with it and all I can say is - I can't believe what I've been missing for 19 years! :smthumbup:

We are communicating better than ever, I feel more comfortable expressing what I would like (even if I have to do it by giving him a book) and we can barely keep our hands off each other.


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

I found this site when my husband was out of town, too and I was crawling up the walls by the time he got home. We hadn't had a good sex life for the past ten years and it came back with a BANG when he got home. Was he bewildered? Yes, a little, but we'd had a great sex life for ten years before we had the problematic years, so it wasn't like he didn't know I was capable of being ungodly horny. We talked and screwed constantly for the first few days, but at no time did he say, "no thanks" to the ramped up sex life. 

That was a year ago, and I still come here almost daily to remind myself of what sex means to our marriage. It really does help me keep my high drive in gear all the time. And we're still talking and screwing like crazy. 

This place can be a great aphrodisiac if you need a boost--that's why I'm always trying to get frustrated spouses to bring their lower drive partners here for a read. It might not work, but then again . . .


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## FF4Christ (Jan 24, 2014)

I agree communication is the key. Honesty as well. The truth shall set you free! In more ways than one!


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

I hope I am not belittling your post. But what a wonderful problem to have! Good luck!


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## hospitality (Feb 24, 2014)

When I read/hear of new and exciting things to do in the bedroom with my wife I just start doing them. Every once in a while my wife will ask and I just reply, "I read it online or heard it ....!" She is so glad to be receiving whatever it is she just goes with it.

Also, men do love going down on women. I do it for me because it turns me on so much. Sometimes I even orgasm doing it. Also, the best bjs I have ever received were from women who clearly were doing it for their enjoyment too. Some had an orgasm just from giving the BJ too. 

My wife has wonderful technique but most of the time she is clearly doing it for me which makes the BJ not that great. But sometimes she is so charged/horny she is doing it for herself and that makes all the difference. I'm sure you can tell difference between a man doing it for you and someone like your husband who is doing it for him first which automatically benefits you the most.

Also, you don't have to be perfectly shaved or wearing the perfect panties. Just go with it.


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

I want to thank everyone for the positive feedback! I kind of feel like there is a whole different world out there. I am also feeling a little sad for all the wasted time.




Sbrown said:


> Oh and for the next three days send him some "naughty" text messages maybe a few naughty pics....have fun with it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That sounds good but i wouldnt even know where to start. I am a bit shy that way. He used to ask me to talk dirty, I wasn't comfortable so I would say "laundry, dishes dusting" needless to say he stopped asking!


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Brandy905 said:


> I want to thank everyone for the positive feedback! I kind of feel like there is a whole different world out there. I am also feeling a little sad for all the wasted time.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I get it. I was the same way. Be brave and start small.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Just tell him your sorry for taking so long to break out of your shell.

then smile and say now lets make up for lost time come over hear and give me a licking!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

Brandy905 said:


> I want to thank everyone for the positive feedback! I kind of feel like there is a whole different world out there. I am also feeling a little sad for all the wasted time.
> 
> That sounds good but i wouldnt even know where to start. I am a bit shy that way. He used to ask me to talk dirty, I wasn't comfortable so I would say "laundry, dishes dusting" needless to say he stopped asking!


No need to feel sad for lost time ...... it'll only give you more incentive to make up for the lost time and explore and enjoooy with the hubby  !!

One suggestion to overcome your shyness .......... take a somewhat risque selfie and text it to him !!! A picture is worth a thousand words ahem ahem  !! Trust me once he overcomes his initial shock ........... he'll like !!


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Good for you Brandi. He's going to enjoy this.


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

Just do it girl! No time has been wasted, enjoy the journey and you will both find yourselves in a new and exciting time. Is never too late.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Hallelujah - Choir of King's College, Cambridge live performance of Handel's Messiah - YouTube


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

hospitality said:


> When I read/hear of new and exciting things to do in the bedroom with my wife I just start doing them. Every once in a while my wife will ask and I just reply, "I read it online or heard it ....!" She is so glad to be receiving whatever it is she just goes with it.
> 
> Also, men do love going down on women. I do it for me because it turns me on so much. Sometimes I even orgasm doing it. Also, the best bjs I have ever received were from women who clearly were doing it for their enjoyment too. Some had an orgasm just from giving the BJ too.
> 
> ...


Really good post!!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

This is a great forum Brandy. I hope you stay and let others know how you are doing. It's encouraging to read of the positive effects of TAM.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Brandy905 said:


> My husband always wanted to go down on me, which has happened but not often. In reading here I am finding out that alot of men really do enjoy it. (I never believed him when he told me he did)



Just curious - what on Earth made you think that men don't like that??


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Theseus said:


> Just curious - what on Earth made you think that men don't like that??


If I may....

Long before we had a boy friend and before we had sex, we had our periods! Nasty business that! We never cared much about that area and then we had our whole friggin lifestyle disrupted! But then we discovered it felt good down there...when it was blood free! We developed a love hate relationship with our "down there."


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

Theseus said:


> Just curious - what on Earth made you think that men don't like that??


Maybe it was because he was the only one? Thought he was justsaying that. Also keep in mind what Anon said holds truth too


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Welcome to TAM, Brandy! And as this post has, no doubt, and most eloquently conveyed to you, and I do speak solely for myself, "just because there is 'snow' up on the rooftop, doesn't, in any way, mean that there's no fire down in the furnace!"

Go for it!*


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I would sit down with him and let him know that you went to TAM and read some interesting things and got a wake up call.

I mean this isn't a sleezy porn site. This is a place where people with problems or questions can seek advice from other people who have been there and done that.

I'm glad that it opened your eyes a bit more because for many years, it sounds like you have been denying yourself the intimacy that you deserve. 

If your husband enjoys giving you oral and has told you so, then by all means, give him access to yourself and while your at it, if there's other things you want to try in the bedroom that you were to shy to ask for, then now is the time. 

Sounds like you could be having a second honeymoon. Good luck and enjoy your new found sex life.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Brandy905 said:


> I have lurked here for a while, this is my first thread. This week I have been reading alot in the the Sex section. Let the problems begin!
> 
> *We have been married over 25years and he is my first and only partner. * Things have slowed down over the years but we still enjoy each other 2 maybe 3 times a week. *I have always been more shy when it comes to the bedroom. I have no problems enjoying sex, I guess it comes to not being adventurous?*
> 
> *I have been reading these threads and getting urges that I haven't felt in years*. My husband always wanted to go down on me, which has happened but not often. In reading here I am finding out that alot of men really do enjoy it. (I never believed him when he told me he did) The different threads I read want to make me explore even more than that. *He now is out of town for 3 days and I don't know what I am going to do!!!* Also what is he going to think when he comes home and I want it all??


With being married 25 yrs, you are coming into your sexual Prime..hold on for the ride ....this will explain some of what is happening....



> *Balance the seesaw.* When they were first married, the man remembered, he always took the sexual lead, pulling his wife close and whispering his desire to make love. But now, 20 years later, she often makes the first move.
> 
> Again, hormonal changes are bringing the couple into closer balance. Men and women both produce testosterone and estrogen, but the proportion of each changes over the years. The male's shifting levels of estrogen and testosterone may make him more willing to follow than to lead, happy for his wife to set the pace. And as a woman's estrogen declines and her testosterone becomes proportionately greater, she may become more assertive.


Though if I was to sit here and explain my personal experience -it would be that X 100... urges... they were incessant, bordering obsessive, every inhibition I ever had was blown out the window...SHY... what is that !!.... I couldn't contain myself.. it was like my mind was hi-jacked, all I wanted to do is jump him...my new language was flirting..I had the dirtiest mind imaginable....

I bought books on how to please a man - as I felt we too, missed many things...it was high time to catch up for lost time !!

My favorite >> Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man 

I never could understand how in the world my husband wanted to be between my legs... YUCK !! though he loved that, I was never one to "get off" that way.. so it was not a big thing for me... but when I hit My prime, I think I would have been  if he didn't like it..cause I , too...wanted to try it ALL...his desire was my utopia...and what I lived for... I was at his beck & call any time he could take me for a ride...

I bought sex games, went on a lingerie kick, wanted to run off on Romantic vacations ...we tried new positions/ outside sex ...(great site here* >>* List of All Sex Positions

Suddenly I wanted to rent porn...it was like a Mid Life Honeymoon...we had a barrel of fun .... and we learned so much about ourselves in that process.. during that WILD spell of mine is when I joined this forum -as I was reading so much about sex, spicing and hormones - that I thought I could offer some advice here... I was also wanting things from my H I never cared or entertained before... didn't know what all of that was about... but I sure was FEELING it.. he too has been my only partner.

I just hope your husband will be able to keep up, mine wasn't and I was thanking God for that little blue pill ! He had a great attitude about it... and wanted to ride that out -as long as it lasted.. that was 5 yrs ago....and I am still posting , it was a great Awakening for me.. I have been profoundly changed.. 

Good for you Brandy....I'd advise you to get your hottest lingerie, throw on some heels... & welcome your husband home, drag him upstairs , rip his clothes off and ravish him !!


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> We developed a love hate relationship with our "down there."


Love/Hate

You hate it. We love it!!


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

You can say a lot with out "saying it" Text him "I'm thinking about you..." He won't get it right off and might text back "that's nice..I'm thinking about you too" then text him " no.....I'm really thinking about you..." You might have to plat at it a bit but eventually the light will go on and he'll have a big smile on his face and be ready to play along. Ya gotta love foreplay!


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## Stormbringer (Apr 1, 2014)

Brandy905 said:


> I want to thank everyone for the positive feedback! I kind of feel like there is a whole different world out there. I am also feeling a little sad for all the wasted time.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I can assure you if you ask him to go down on you he will duly oblige! Although we have now got issues in the sex area in the past I always found that performing oral aroused me more than anything. My wife has always been inhibited sexually and the first time I did go down on her she was very unsure. After a while though she even pushing me down there!

Believe me he will be one happy guy.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Brandy905 said:


> Maybe it was because he was the only one? Thought he was justsaying that. Also keep in mind what *Anon said holds truth* too


Good girl Brandy. You can never go wrong agreeing with Aunt Anon! Sit next to me at the next dinner, m'kay?


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Good girl Brandy. You can never go wrong agreeing with Aunt Anon! Sit next to me at the next dinner, m'kay?


AP always speaks the truth.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

I don't understand the question  OMG, you are a great life partner. I must say your husband should feel lucky. I know my wife flat out enjoys what I do. I love doing that to her. Love it, Love it and Love it. When I'm having my way with her, I love to look at her toes, not the fetish, she does have pretty toes, but watching them curl in angst. She get's to a point where she is so riled up, she practically pulls my ears off (hehehehe) and screams (in a good way) get up here and finish me off. I love that. Anyway keep up the good work. Way to go keeping the love a live. Cheers.


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

An awesome home coming!! Talked a bit, showed him my post, he read all the responses. The rest is history!! Then on top of that we both got to work late this morning! Thanks to all of you!!


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

most excellent thread.

Never figured out why some folks just don't ask.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

naiveonedave said:


> most excellent thread.
> 
> Never figured out why some folks just don't ask.


Same as me, FEAR!!!


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

I think this is my most favorite TAM thread of all time. A bit shallow I know but whatever.


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## lace5262 (Oct 13, 2010)

I love threads like these!

Next thing you know, you'll have him in bed with rubber sheets and tons of (sugar free) pudding! Oh, wait, that's me:rofl: but still .. You never know

I'm so happy for yall


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Brandy905 said:


> I want to thank everyone for the positive feedback! I kind of feel like there is a whole different world out there. I am also feeling a little sad for all the wasted time.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Oh no no no! You have to stop that crap. It is totally okay for you and your hubby to be each other's dirty little nasty fvckbuddies.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Brandy905 said:


> An awesome home coming!! Talked a bit, showed him my post, he read all the responses. The rest is history!! Then on top of that we both got to work late this morning! Thanks to all of you!!


Good!

As for me? I looooooove going down on a woman. I love the taste, the smell, the way her body reacts to what I'm doing. It's way better than intercourse because I can gauge her reactions better. 

I guarantee your husband dreams of going down on you when he is at work. Now you have something for him to look forwards to when he gets home.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

I love stories like this....


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## Brandy905 (Apr 3, 2014)

This has been incredible! He is out getting some new toys now! I am walking taller with more pep in my step, It seems like I don't even know who I am!😳
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

That's awesome!


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

Brandy905 said:


> This has been incredible! He is out getting some new toys now! I am walking taller with more pep in my step, It seems like I don't even know who I am!😳
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Go get yourself some sexy clothes and lingerie. If you've not splurged on things for yourself for awhile (hair, nails, massage), go make yourself look and feel fabulous. Read some erotica, find some sexy pictures on the internet that are fun to look at. Put the time in to looking sexy, acting sexy, and thinking sexy . . . you'll have a ton of fun with it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

After lingerie, next investment should be a 4' kiddie pool, a large crate of chocolate pudding and .... hire a dwarf to film the two of you if you can.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Brandy905 said:


> I have lurked here for a while, this is my first thread. This week I have been reading alot in the the Sex section. Let the problems begin!
> We have been married over 25years and he is my first and only partner. Things have slowed down over the years but we still enjoy each other 2 maybe 3 times a week. I have always been more shy when it comes to the bedroom. I have no problems enjoying sex, I guess it comes to not being adventurous?
> I have been reading these threads and getting urges that I haven't felt in years. My husband always wanted to go down on me, which has happened but not often. In reading here I am finding out that alot of men really do enjoy it. (I never believed him when he told me he did) The different threads I read want to make me explore even more than that. He now is out of town for 3 days and I don't know what I am going to do!!! Also what is he going to think when he comes home and I want it all??


For me, going down on my wife puts me at the center of my universe. Being right there smelling and tasting and seeing and touching that portal to heaven is where I always want some part of me to be.


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

Brandi that is fantastic!!!! If you really want to get him going while he's down there. Think of the dirtiest things you can and tell him to do it. That'll drive him over the top.


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