# 1 month into separation



## silent_bob (Jul 7, 2012)

hi all

i'm now one month in to my separation with my wife. she instigated this and i moved out into a locally apartment. i've explained periously that there was no affairs, just a concious decision for her to try and mentally overcome some of the selfish things i had done its effects on her and her confidence (gambling addiction, anger management (not physical) not doing enough round the house, not spending time with the children).

after a strange first week apart there came a very difficult 2 week period, plenty of tears and the most god awful heart wrenching pain. the realisation that i was not going to be seeing her or the 4 children everyday. that was extremely tough.

however this past week things seem to be settling down. i don't know why but i feel more relaxed. i've dropped all the guilty feelings i seemed to be carrying with me and now me and the wife are getting along much better (even better than the past couple of years whilst together). we are relaxed and actually enjoying the moment's we are together, whether brief or prolonged.

i know that she is not ready to decide on 'our' future, she is not at that place yet and i respect that she needs to find her confidence and who she was (as we both are) but she is actively flirting with me now, quite regularly as well, to the point where we had sex over the weekend. we both agreed that it would be just that, sex, but it was fun, relaxed and intimate as well. it was like when we first met 9 years ago, carefree and fun, before the kids, the mortagage and before i let life take over our relationship.

whilst i know that everyones situations are different but is there anything wrong with have sex whilst separated? if we both know and accept our situation, we are still married and there is still an extremely strong attraction between us i cannot see a down side

welcome any thoughts or comments


----------



## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

I don't have any experience with this, but it seems to me that, as there are no afFairs involved, well, go for it. Just be careful that she is not cake-eating, enjoying all benefits of being on her own, but using you when she wants your companionship. 

Are you both working on your issues? If nothing has changed, getting back together won't produce different results from what you had before you separated.


----------

