# kind of lost



## frazaled (Jan 20, 2012)

ok hopeing for some advise . a little history about us,we have been married for 19.5 years have 6 kids rangeing in ages from 21 to 4 .
we have had a fairly good marriage no major issuse till recently,hubby was diagnosed with depression almost 6 years ago and is on medication for the most part this works really well but untill we worked out what was going life was scary for awhile.
farst forward till recently dec last year hubby hit a young man on a motor cycle he was not in the wrong but was a mess just at the thought that he had hurt this young man 4 days later was sacked as he make a silly mistake conecting a bottle as his mind was a mess and even though no harm was done and no money was lost he got sacked.this did things to his head and he was a little unstable for a few weeks but has recovered well.
1 month ago i found out he was having an affair with 1 of my friends for over 1 year mostly dirty talking they kissed twice and some inapropriate touching, they didnt sleep together not that , that makes much differance to what it did to me and our marriage.
so after lots of talking yelling and soul serching we are working things out and realized there was some issues that we needed to work on .
here is my problem i have not made him stress about anything as much as possable in the last 6 years for fear that it would worsen his depression,i told him i need him to plug into our family and me he spends lots of time on the pc or sony or just in our room watching tv alone as thats how he prefers it says it helps his head i thought this was a cop out years ago but was told by his doctor it really was helping him,well he said he would pay more attention and do what needs to be done to save our marriage well that kasted a whole week and we are right back to him sitting on the pc for up to 18 hours a day ,i have done all the tings he asked for and then some but he isnt and im scared of pushing in case i push him over the edge but i dont know if i can do this forever any advise from people who have had to deal will similar situations would be appreciated.


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## 4821 (Nov 3, 2011)

I am so sorry. Seems like your husband is related to mine in some ways. I don't know the answers. 

I have been married 21 years in a month. We have been up and down in our relationship. 

I hope to see what other people answer. I have the same concern and feel lost.

Susan


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## 4821 (Nov 3, 2011)

I don't know how to send you a message privately through email here. 

Your husband is on depression medications that has helped for the most part? what does that mean

You have six kids and he provides for them, both of you provide for them? This question is asked in case he is feeling overwhelmed with having six children. He could be having a mid life crisis sexually wanting to be a little bit on the naughty side? Are you still flirting with him and being a presence in his life? Or are you worn out because you have six kids that you are taking care of alone? 

Depression medication usually decreases your sex drive. It can also cause weight gain and make you feel pretty average. If he is on something stronger and has more issues then you have stated...bi-polar, schz, personality disorder, etc. Then that is completely different then depression. 

HUGE DIFFERENCE - email me


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## 4821 (Nov 3, 2011)

What is sacked?


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## 4821 (Nov 3, 2011)

4 days later was sacked as he make a silly mistake conecting a bottle as his mind was a mess and even though no harm was done and no money was lost he got sacked.this did things to his head and he was a little unstable for a few weeks but has recovered well.


I don't know what any of this means above in your statement. I am sorry if it means he was hurt. If he was hurt and has recovered, did he receive medication for being hurt. 

The pain meciation will interfere with the depression medication. When you stop strong pain medication there is a deep depression for about two days and constipation that only Maalox can help if you take it along the way. or more


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## frazaled (Jan 20, 2012)

sorry 4821 i dont know how to privet msg on here either bbut sacked means he lost his job , as to the six kids being over whelming i dont think so he thinks the depression started because we moved 200 km away from where we were as thats what he wanted to do and about 7 months in he lost his job so felt he had dissapointed me and the kids.
and no i must say i wasnt flirting with him but i thought we were doing ok he never really spent any time on me either unless he wanted sex,ok once all the cheating stuff cam out i have gone to great pains to change that.
as to him feelinf bad for not providing for us no i dont beleave it even worries him he hardly ever looks for work , his life dosnt change he still gets what he wants its just me and the younger 2 kids that miss out older 4 have jobs .
to be honest i fear he is just a selfish person and i know i am to blame for some of it as i have let this happen for so long but i guess now that i know i ment so little to him that he could rip my heart out and not really care about it i dont know if i want to live like this for ever ,it was kind of ok in my head before you know he has depression its not his fault he has checked out on us because he dosnknow how to do what needs to be done but gee he could do what need to be do for the other women so i guess know i feal if he could do it for her why not me.
sorry for rambaling.


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