# Keeping promises



## lordfire00 (Jun 28, 2014)

Ladies, 
Let me give u some advice for those who do this. If u make a deal with ur husband , for him to do something for u, and in return u give him sex, be ready to fullfill ur end of the deal that same day or night. Especially if u have a good man. 

All im gonna say is, my wife disappoints me alot. For the way i treat her (like a queen), she treats me ....so the opposite.

This is one of the reasons ur man cheats in u, or leaves u.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Ok. So next time refuse to do the task. Demand sex first. It's not that hard. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. You say she's done this multiple times, so shame on you.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

While I fully agree with WorkingOnMe, I will tell you that eventually it will corrode your soul.

I was there once. And while the temporary relief of getting whatever sexual release the "deal" feels good, it doesn't make you feel wanted or loved. Over time you're going to build a lot of resentment. 

My advice? Try to fix your marriage now, and if you don't succeed, do both of you a favor and execute it. There is plenty of advice right on this sub-forum how to do it. If you want, we can add more advice right here.

With this post I'm happy to report now - these threads don't piss me off anymore. I guess I'm truly over it now :smthumbup:. For a long time I would stay away from these threads because they angered me. Too much old resentments brought up. It feels good to have that monkey off my back.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok. So next time refuse to do the task. Demand sex first. It's not that hard. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. You say she's done this multiple times, so shame on you.


I don't agree with WOM very often but he's spot on here. If this has been going on a lot, why would you keep making these deals? Not to mention you really shouldn't have to barter in this manner to get sex. Even the concept of verbally promising something to get sex won't work long-term very often.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My STBXW never tried to barter sex with me (and then failed to come through with it), but one of the straws that broke this camel's back was being able to wallpaper our house with rain checks that read "I'm too tired tonight; can we do this tomorrow?" She was the mistress of procrastination, when it came to sex. And then tomorrow never came (and neither did I).

C


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I guess I'm wondering how healthy the entire marital dynamic can possibly be if "she doesn't keep up her end of the deal" is the only problem you see with a marriage in which sex is currency exchanged for goods and services. Is transactional sex her idea or yours?


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## creative (Apr 23, 2013)

This is the way I see it. Have you read the book "no more Mr nice guy"?. Google it as its online & its a great ebook/pdf. It's changes your belief from treating your wife as a villan and you as a victim. I feel you need to stop treating the situation with sex as a contract 'I did this for you and so you need to do this for me' kind of deal. It's an unattractive quality that creates no desire and boredom in the bedroom. Could you imagine James Bond acting like you with his ladies? No!

Work on being non-needy so you break out of your belief on needing your wife to have a healthy orgasm. Stop trying to make your wife happy and work on your self to make you happy first. Your wife just need you to be confident in your own skin and to deal with past sh!t like past shame and fears that you could be carrying around with you since childhood. This is so that she can be intimate with a man who not only loves her but loves himself as well with freedom in your mind closeness in your heart.


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## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

lordfire00 said:


> Ladies,
> Let me give u some advice for those who do this. If u make a deal with ur husband , for him to do something for u, and in return u give him sex, be ready to fullfill ur end of the deal that same day or night. Especially if u have a good man.
> 
> All im gonna say is, my wife disappoints me alot. For the way i treat her (like a queen), she treats me ....so the opposite.
> ...


Ok here is the way I see it. One should never have to do a chore to get sex from their spouse. That's a setup for failure. You should give sex to satisfy your spouse because you love them not because of duty or cause they did a task for you!! Again JMO


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Rooster2014 said:


> Ok here is the way I see it. *One should never have to do a chore to get sex from their spouse. *That's a setup for failure. You should give sex to satisfy your spouse because you love them not because of duty or cause they did a task for you!! Again JMO


Completely agree here. Sex in exchange for "chores" or "tasks"? Doesn't work for me at all.

Sex should be shared freely between two people who love each other, as an expression of love, intimacy, bonding, and because they *want* to be close. Not as payback for fixing the gutters or changing the oil in her car.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok. So next time refuse to do the task. Demand sex first. It's not that hard. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. You say she's done this multiple times, so shame on you.


:iagree:

I always require payment in advance, if he wants to do some stupid barter for sex.

But sex really shouldn't have to be traded for.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok. So next time refuse to do the task. Demand sex first. It's not that hard. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. You say she's done this multiple times, so shame on you.


wow, so simple but effective!

Wife: Honey, could u take out the garbage?

Hubby: SURE!!!!

Wife: Uh, why are your pants down at your ankles?

Hubby: Well remember LAST TIME you asked me to....


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