# I want to stay in the house and we can sell it later...



## don'tmesswithtexas (Jul 18, 2013)

Is that even an option any more for women? I would like to stay here until my oldest daughter graduates from high school in 2015 and then we can sell the house and split the equity. The house is worth $175K and we owe $105K and the payments would be cheaper than rent on an apartment. It would provide stability for the kids to stay in our house while the divorce is happening and to get used to two households.
Has anyone else worked this out with their STBX?


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Check the laws in your state or see a lawyer. Each state has different laws - if you do an Internet search it may help you. A lot of law offices put information online.


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## angstire (Jun 4, 2013)

My stbxw agreed to this. I'm keeping the house and she moved out. Plan is to get the mortgage switched to my name; I have my doubts about Chase approving that, but I'll try. I can't afford to refi in just my name, but you could try that if you have 20% down payment in cash. 

What we will likely do, is make part of our divorce decree that she is protected from any financial screw-ups on my part, so if there is foreclosure, it's my deal and not hers. Also, since I'm paying the mortgage, when the house sells after youngest D graduates, her profit is capped at what she put into the house when we bought it. Any other profit is all mine.


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## noas55 (Jun 25, 2013)

It can be done. Better you two work it out if you are headed to divorce or even legal separation. If the judge gets involved, it could get nasty


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## fourwheeler431 (Jun 21, 2013)

angstire said:


> My stbxw agreed to this. I'm keeping the house and she moved out. Plan is to get the mortgage switched to my name; I have my doubts about Chase approving that, but I'll try. I can't afford to refi in just my name, but you could try that if you have 20% down payment in cash.
> 
> What we will likely do, is make part of our divorce decree that she is protected from any financial screw-ups on my part, so if there is foreclosure, it's my deal and not hers. Also, since I'm paying the mortgage, when the house sells after youngest D graduates, her profit is capped at what she put into the house when we bought it. Any other profit is all mine.


This is what my stbxw and I decided to do as well, our paperwork has already been drawn up and we are just waiting for our 90 days to be up,for the judge to sign it. I had a preview of what it is going to be like yesterday morning,when I got up as she was already at work and the kids were at my parents. It was very quiet and lonely feeling,being here by myself,but I plan to paint and make some changes,to make it my own place and to hopefully ease some of the memories of it being "our" home.


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## angstire (Jun 4, 2013)

fourwheeler431 said:


> This is what my stbxw and I decided to do as well, our paperwork has already been drawn up and we are just waiting for our 90 days to be up,for the judge to sign it. I had a preview of what it is going to be like yesterday morning,when I got up as she was already at work and the kids were at my parents. It was very quiet and lonely feeling,being here by myself,but I plan to paint and make some changes,to make it my own place and to hopefully ease some of the memories of it being "our" home.


Great idea on remaking the house as yours. The day after my stbxw moved out, I repainted my room, new art, new light fixtures. It helps.

Since then, I've repainted 4 rooms and will do another 4 this weekend and call it good for now. They need the paint, but it's nice to put my mark on the house. I love this house and am glad I'm staying, but remaking it as mine will help with not so many mental movies of us there together.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I would do this with my STBXW. It's one if the reasons I haven't pushed forward on the divorce; so the kids (in particular) have stability in where they live. 

One thing to consider... Who pays for reno's, repairs, and property taxes?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angstire (Jun 4, 2013)

PBear said:


> One thing to consider... Who pays for reno's, repairs, and property taxes?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I do, I paid the mortage up until sale. It's also why I get the bulk of the profits from the sale.


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## angstire (Jun 4, 2013)

One more thing. This is my situation. Talk to your attorney and mortgage holder too. 

I'm smart, but I'm not either of those things.


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## Sincererlytrying (Oct 31, 2012)

This is not recommended by many attorneys or other experts I read. The mortgage companies don't care about your agreements. If your name is on the mortgage they hold you accountable. If you want to keep the house you should buy out your husband's equity, and refinance in your name or assume the loan yourself. 

My stbxw is buying my equity with cash and retirement funds, and I am being flexible and giving her 6 months to get her own mortgage, or she has to sell. I can't be tied to property that she won't take care of well. Too much financial risk. 

I bought my own place in the same neighborhood so the kids will be in the same schools.

My stbxw is going to let her attachment, memories and emotions over the house lead to her financial ruin. It should be looked at as a financial decision only.


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## angstire (Jun 4, 2013)

:iagree:

There is risk with doing this route of both owning.

My mortgage company has a process for removing one of the names on the mortgage. I submit next week, I'll let you know how it goes.


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## fourwheeler431 (Jun 21, 2013)

angstire said:


> :iagree:
> 
> There is risk with doing this route of both owning.
> 
> My mortgage company has a process for removing one of the names on the mortgage. I submit next week, I'll let you know how it goes.


My mortgage company does as well and I will be doing that soon,she couldn't have kept the house and do what needs to be done to make it more marketable for this area. I can do 99% of everything myself. In order for us not to lose our ass on it,it makes more sense for me to keep it until the market turns around and try and sell.


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## don'tmesswithtexas (Jul 18, 2013)

STBX is in agreement about keeping the house for 2 more years until our daughter graduates. He wanted to know if I ran it by my attorney yet. I told him I don't have time this week and will do it next week and to finish up the inventory list on our household items and the discovery stuff my attorney is asking for. I think he will end up moving out before the end of the year once my truck is paid off and he frees up some cash. Either way, as long as I can put off moving and make the transition to divorce easier on the kids once it is finalized I will feel better. If I end up paying the house payment and bills by myself once his child support check starts I will be able to do it if I budget carefully. I sent off for my rough draft QDRO so he can see what amount he would get as he has already submitted his. Then to get to the gritty part of whether he will pay all or part of my attorney's fees due to disparity in income and the fact that he has a FREE attorney through his work. Also to see whether or not I get temporary spousal support and to see if I can get a 60/40 cut of assets and sale of the house once we put it on the market. Then we should be ready to sign the papers. 60 days is the minimum and I filed the paperwork to start the divorce on June 28th.


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## angstire (Jun 4, 2013)

Sounds like you've got your stuff organized. Good for you.

I'll reply on how the moving the mortgage to my name goes, but I'm in MN, so it may be different for you.


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