# What turns you off about a woman?



## bandit.45

Guys, what personality traits in a woman are a turnoff to you? 

It is self-centered women for me. I hate it when I take a woman out on a date and all she does is talk about herself only. I went on date a couple weeks ago and the lady only talked about her career, her and what she was doing and where she was going in life. I felt like I was conducting a job interview. Not once did she ask me about myself or where I was from, or what my likes are, or try to get to know me. Very off-putting.


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## GuyInColorado

Messed up teeth.


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## EllisRedding

Smokes/Drugs (automatic no no for me, don't care how awesome she may be otherwise, I know this isn't a personality trait per se but could be the sign of an addictive personality)
Self Centered
High Maintenance
Poor sense of humor (wouldn't probably like me anyhow lol)
Used to be a man

I would say the above are pretty much killers. Some of the other things that might come to mind I would say are more individualistic (i.e. take on a case to case basis)


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## EllisRedding

bandit.45 said:


> Guys, what personality traits in a woman are a turnoff to you?


FYI @bandit.45 , the thread title just simply asks for turn offs but your OP puts it solely on personality traits. Not sure if you want to see if a mod can edit your Thread Title


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## GreyEcho

Being over bearing..


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## MrsAldi

bandit.45 said:


> Guys, what personality traits in a woman are a turnoff to you?
> 
> It is self-centered women for me. I hate it when I take a woman out on a date and all she does is talk about herself only. I went on date a couple weeks ago and the lady only talked about her career, her and what she was doing and where she was going in life. I felt like I was conducting a job interview. Not once did she ask me about myself or where I was from, or what my likes are, or try to get to know me. Very off-putting.


If she went on a lot of dates, perhaps she got into a rhythm of talking about herself. 
It was unusual that she didn't want to get to know about you, but then some men get offended when a woman on a date asks too many questions! 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## NothingsOriginal

Noncommittal

Ask her anything, the answer is "It Depends" or "I dunno" or "Maybe" or any variation (or combination) of those.


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## Bananapeel

I hate when a woman is so co-dependent that she lies about having commonalities just to get your attention; but any dishonesty is a big turnoff. I also can't stand overbearing/controlling women. The last big thing is women that don't put effort in preparing for a date. I figure if I'm going to shower, shave, trim the ear hair and ball beard, spray some decent cologne, and put on nice clothes then I can expect the same level of primping from her.


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## uhtred

Landmines (for women or men). 
Anyone where I feel that I have to be careful about what I say, or ask - where I worry that an innocent comment or question could cause them to become angry / upset.


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## TBT

Personality traits that don't sit right with me have really nothing to do with gender. People that catastrophize over the simplest thing... overly judgemental people... backbiters and gossipy people... brown nosers and those that are full of themselves are a few that come to mind.


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## bandit.45

MrsAldi said:


> If she went on a lot of dates, perhaps she got into a rhythm of talking about herself.
> It was unusual that she didn't want to get to know about you, but then some men get offended when a woman on a date asks too many questions!
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


It should be balanced conversation. Quid pro quo both ways. 

But this particular date was not the only time that has happened. I've been on several dates where the woman just prattles off about all these awesome things she's doing, and all these awesome places shes going, and how great she is at her job, and all the awesome things she's done in the past and so on. I will smile and sit there and respond once in a while to be nice. 

If a woman isn't interested in me I wish she would just say so, so I can forego the dessert and movie and just take her home.


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## bandit.45

EllisRedding said:


> FYI @bandit.45 , the thread title just simply asks for turn offs but your OP puts it solely on personality traits. Not sure if you want to see if a mod can edit your Thread Title


Okay then lets expand that to all traits: personality, attitude, appearance, etc.


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## tropicalbeachiwish

EllisRedding said:


> Used to be a man


LOL. And this is why I make sure to read your posts. :rofl:


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## bandit.45

Tattoos. Instant disqualification.


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## jorgegene

i ran into a similar type of thing when i was single. 

i did the online dating thing, talked for a couple of weeks, then met for coffee. it went well, i thought.
she was a bit on the heavy side, but very pretty and smart.
we were together for a bout 2 hours, she showed interest, and i responded with interest and we agreed to meet again.

so i waited for her to call me, and a few days later she texted me to meet her at a club.

oh boy.....a date! i thought.

but no, i get there and it turns out there are like 3 other guys she invited like this was sort of a competition. the 'bachelorette'.

no bueno. that was the end of that. what are they thinking?


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## BetrayedDad

Personality?

Nagging is easily WORST though being stuck up is a close second.

I don't even mind b!tchy too much as long as it's valid reasoning.

And I'd rather be alone than go anywhere near a "liberal" woman.


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## bandit.45

Gotta be careful with the "stuck up" behavior. I have met some women who acted stuck up, when in reality they were just painfully shy and were actually really cool when you got to know them. Now... a haughty or imperious attitude? Definitely a turn-off.


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## bandit.45

jorgegene said:


> i ran into a similar type of thing when i was single.
> 
> i did the online dating thing, talked for a couple of weeks, then met for coffee. it went well, i thought.
> she was a bit on the heavy side, but very pretty and smart.
> we were together for a bout 2 hours, she showed interest, and i responded with interest and we agreed to meet again.
> 
> so i waited for her to call me, and a few days later she texted me to meet her at a club.
> 
> oh boy.....a date! i thought.
> 
> but no, i get there and *it turns out there are like 3 other guys she invited like this was sort of a competition.* the 'bachelorette'.
> 
> no bueno. that was the end of that. what are they thinking?


:surprise:


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## Blondilocks

bandit.45 said:


> It should be balanced conversation. Quid pro quo both ways.
> 
> But this particular date was not the only time that has happened. I've been on several dates where the woman just prattles off about all these awesome things she's doing, and all these awesome places shes going, and how great she is at her job, and all the awesome things she's done in the past and so on. I will smile and sit there and respond once in a while to be nice.
> 
> *If a woman isn't interested in me I wish she would just say so, so I can forego the dessert and movie and just take her home*.


When a woman behaves this way, she has pretty much told you she's not interested. Feel free to forgo the dessert & movie and drive to her home, slow the car down and throw her out.


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## BetrayedDad

bandit.45 said:


> But this particular date was not the only time that has happened. I've been on several dates where the woman just prattles off about all these awesome things she's doing, and all these awesome places shes going, and how great she is at her job, and all the awesome things she's done in the past and so on. I will smile and sit there and respond once in a while to be nice.


Pro tip: If she doesn't ask many questions about you on a date then she's definitely not interested.

Slowing down the car kinda depends on how the date went imo.


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## bandit.45

Blondilocks said:


> When a woman behaves this way, she has pretty much told you she's not interested. Feel free to forgo the dessert & movie and drive to her home, slow the car down and throw her out.


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## Andy1001

When I was younger if she didn't sleep with me the first date that was a complete turn off.


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## rockon

High Maintenance (a.k.a. gold digger). I was on a date months ago and was informed that if the relationship was to continue (read intimate) she had "standards" that needed to be met before she continues. I'm glad she had her own ride home because the date ended at that point.

Sorry, but who brings this up on the first damn date!


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## joannacroc

rockon said:


> High Maintenance (a.k.a. gold digger). I was on a date months ago and was informed that if the relationship was to continue (read intimate) she had "standards" that needed to be met before she continues. I'm glad she had her own ride home because the date ended at that point.
> 
> Sorry, but who brings this up on the first damn date!


Was she unbelievably hot or something? That seems like kind of an outrageous thing for anyone to say...some very attractive women have learned that they can get away with this sort of thing.


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## Lila

rockon said:


> *High Maintenance (a.k.a. gold digger)*.


Rockon, as one of the High Maintenance, who happens to pay for all of her own "maintenance", I gotta correct your association above. 

All Gold Diggers are High Maintenance but not all High Maintenance ladies are Gold Diggers.


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## Herschel

Bad teef
Smoking
Most tats (my stbx has a small one on her lower back and I didn't like it but whatevs)
Over exuberance, like a hearty laugh that doesn't stop
Trashiness 
Using poor grammar
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr. Nail

I'm wary of High maintenance, but in my experience most of the high maintenance women I've met pay for all of their maintenance. And @rockon , there is an obvious answer to your question.

There are some personality traits that automatically turn me on about women. I guess I'm feeling positive on this topic. I'm more attracted to someone who is independent enough to change her own tire, or saddle her own horse. There are other skills out there but I like a woman who has a good grasp on practical life skills. 

I like a good sense of humor. English or Australian humor fits me better. 

I prefer to talk with people who have a large vocabulary.


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## rockon

joannacroc said:


> Was she unbelievably hot or something? That seems like kind of an outrageous thing for anyone to say...some very attractive women have learned that they can get away with this sort of thing.


Yes, she was attractive, but as you mentioned I did find it outrageous. I got the feeling she felt entitled to this treatment and this actually irritated me more.


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## rockon

Lila said:


> Rockon, as one of the High Maintenance, who happens to pay for all of her own "maintenance", I gotta correct your association above.
> 
> All Gold Diggers are High Maintenance but not all High Maintenance ladies are Gold Diggers.


I can't argue!! :grin2:


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## EleGirl

bandit.45 said:


> Guys, what personality traits in a woman are a turnoff to you?
> 
> It is self-centered women for me. I hate it when I take a woman out on a date and all she does is talk about herself only. I went on date a couple weeks ago and the lady only talked about her career, her and what she was doing and where she was going in life. I felt like I was conducting a job interview. Not once did she ask me about myself or where I was from, or what my likes are, or try to get to know me. Very off-putting.


Did you talk about yourself? What things about yourself did you bring up and how did she respond to that?


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## EleGirl

rockon said:


> High Maintenance (a.k.a. gold digger). I was on a date months ago and was informed that if the relationship was to continue (read intimate) she had "standards" that needed to be met before she continues. I'm glad she had her own ride home because the date ended at that point.
> 
> Sorry, but who brings this up on the first damn date!


What were her list of "standards"?


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## bandit.45

EleGirl said:


> Did you talk about yourself? What things about yourself did you bring up and how did she respond to that?


I didn't get much of any words in. She mostly talked about her upcoming promotion at work for about the whole meal. Then when we went to an art museum afterwards she talked about how her ex husband was an art expert and she talked about her ex boyfriends and all her past travails. I think she asked me two questions about myself the whole date. 

When she found out I was a blue collar kid from a small southwestern town she kind of got a disappointed look on her face. She came from a privileged background. I guess she assumed I was a simpleton so she didn't ask me any more questions after that. :laugh:

It's okay though, because I felt no chemistry from the start. No loss. It was better than staying home doing nothing.


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## BetrayedDad

rockon said:


> Yes, she was attractive, but as you mentioned I did find it outrageous. I got the feeling she felt entitled to this treatment and this actually irritated me more.


That's when you say, "no problem, I got you!"

Then afterwards you bounce.....


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## EunuchMonk

jorgegene said:


> i ran into a similar type of thing when i was single.
> 
> i did the online dating thing, talked for a couple of weeks, then met for coffee. it went well, i thought.
> she was a bit on the heavy side, but very pretty and smart.
> we were together for a bout 2 hours, she showed interest, and i responded with interest and we agreed to meet again.
> 
> so i waited for her to call me, and a few days later she texted me to meet her at a club.
> 
> oh boy.....a date! i thought.
> 
> *but no, i get there and it turns out there are like 3 other guys she invited like this was sort of a competition. the 'bachelorette'.
> *
> no bueno. that was the end of that. what are they thinking?


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## arbitrator

*How about their incessant gossiping and nagging for no reason at all?

Looking down their nose at me or other folks also doesn't do me a whole lot of good!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## farsidejunky

Anger. When they paint themselves as victims in scenarios.

I dated a woman for a few weeks like that in between wives. I remember being shocked at her anger. I asked her gently why she was so angry at life.

Her response was to burst into tears and proceed to bawling.

It was really sad. She was furious at the world for where she was, which was a pretty fortunate place all things considered. 

We broke up two days after that conversation. I have no room in my life for someone who harbors that much anger.


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## rockon

EleGirl said:


> What were her list of "standards"?


Not a list per say, but an entitlement attitude. 

-Asked about her life: oh I like the finer things in life, good restaurants, killer vacations, that's what boyfriends are for (with a smile on her face).

-_Vaguely_ alluded to sex, but likes shiny accessories (I assume jewelry) for that to happen. 

-The evening was over when she made a semi-snide comment on the dinner we had. (This was a very nice restaurant).

It was the attitude that irritated me more than anything.


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## Red Sonja

Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.

Any takers?


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## Fozzy

Red Sonja said:


> Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.
> 
> Any takers?


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## Red Sonja

Fozzy said:


>


Actually it was a sincere question.


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## Fozzy

Red Sonja said:


> Actually it was a sincere question.


They're both in the eye of the beholder, but I think when guys talk about high maintenance, they're specifically talking about maintenance that THEY have to perform. I.E. shelling out massive amounts of money for floofy stuff.

Nagging--I'm not touching that with a cattle prod. It can be interpreted in too many ways, and virtually all of them end up with me getting in trouble somehow.


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## uhtred

I only use those phrases very rarely , but to me they mean: (and I think that they apply equally to men and women).

High maintenance: A set of behaviors: Need things, in particular gifts / favors. Flowers are a *requirement*, not something that is met with happy appreciation. Need sex, back-rubs, something. Constantly needs help with something, but doesn't provide help in return. A general helplessness. Flat tire - call partner to leave work and drive over to help, rather than call a tow truck. Computer broken - call partner to fix it, even though they write software for a living. Family problems, need partner to help - which is fine, but not if they don't reciprocate. 

Nagging: Constantly telling someone to do something when they already know, and either have it lower on their priority list, or have decided not to do it. Often coupled with thinking that their own set of priorities for chores should take precedence over their partner's priorities. Usually coupled with treating the partner like a child: "What, you haven't taken the trash out yet - *sigh*, I'll do it". (when it fact their partner is busy with something that may be equally or more important. 

I think there is a lot of variation on how these terms are used, but I see both are a form of viewing their partners as servants, not equals.


As I said, I use these rarely, and think that they apply to men and women who exhibit these sorts of behavior. 






Red Sonja said:


> Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.
> 
> Any takers?


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## bandit.45

Red Sonja said:


> Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.
> 
> Any takers?


Oh...you mean sort of the same way women throw around "controlling" and "insecure"?


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## Wolf1974

Physically tattoos and an unkept appearance/hygene I had a first date with a woman who showed up in her pjs, kid you not.

Personality : shallow, egocentric, rude, arrogant, behaviors are an instant we are done here


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## Nucking Futs

Red Sonja said:


> Can anyone define "high maintenance" and "nagging", those words are thrown around very casually by men and I have always wondered how they define them.
> 
> Any takers?


There seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding of "high maintenance" by some of the ladies on this thread. It doesn't matter how high your expectations are, if you're fulfilling them yourself you're not high maintenance. You become high maintenance when you have high expectations that you require someone else to fulfill. Uhtred defined it pretty well.

As far as nagging goes, if I say I'll do something I'll do it. You don't need to remind me every 6 months, I'll get to it.:grin2:


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## Red Sonja

uhtred said:


> I only use those phrases very rarely , but to me they mean: (and I think that they apply equally to men and women).
> 
> High maintenance: A set of behaviors: Need things, in particular gifts / favors. Flowers are a *requirement*, not something that is met with happy appreciation. *Need sex*, back-rubs, something. Constantly needs help with something, but doesn't provide help in return. A general helplessness. Flat tire - call partner to leave work and drive over to help, rather than call a tow truck. Computer broken - call partner to fix it, even though they write software for a living. Family problems, need partner to help - which is fine, but not if they don't reciprocate.
> 
> Nagging: Constantly telling someone to do something when they already know, and either have it lower on their priority list, or have decided not to do it. Often coupled with thinking that their own set of priorities for chores should take precedence over their partner's priorities. Usually coupled with treating the partner like a child: "What, you haven't taken the trash out yet - *sigh*, I'll do it". (when it fact their partner is busy with something that may be equally or more important.
> 
> I think there is a lot of variation on how these terms are used, but I see both are a form of viewing their partners as servants, not equals.
> 
> 
> As I said, I use these rarely, and think that they apply to men and women who exhibit these sorts of behavior.


Thank you for explaining, the only thing I don't understand is the bolded ... if I need sex I am high maintenance?


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## jld

farsidejunky said:


> Anger. When they paint themselves as victims in scenarios.
> 
> I dated a woman for a few weeks like that in between wives. I remember being shocked at her anger. I asked her gently why she was so angry at life.
> 
> Her response was to burst into tears and proceed to bawling.
> 
> It was really sad. She was furious at the world for where she was, which was a pretty fortunate place all things considered.
> 
> We broke up two days after that conversation. I have no room in my life for someone who harbors that much anger.


Remember, anger is a cover for fear and/or pain. It sounds like she may have been in a lot of pain, considering how open she was in response to your gentleness.


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## farsidejunky

jld said:


> Remember, anger is a cover for fear and/or pain. It sounds like she may have been in a lot of pain, considering how open she was in response to your gentleness.


I didn't have that knowledge then, but understand it now. The problem was that she allowed this pain to overtake the joy in her life when she had plenty to be joyful about.

That is a terrible way to live, and I would have no interest in being partnered with someone who had to cope with life in such a way.


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## Mr. Nail

Actually I'm a bit surprised, My definition of high maintenance is completely different. If you spend more per month on your hair, nails, or plastic surgery, than I spend on my truck payment, that's high maintenance. 
Nagging is the use of the "honey do" list as a control or punishment device.


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## aine

bandit.45 said:


> It should be balanced conversation. Quid pro quo both ways.
> 
> But this particular date was not the only time that has happened. I've been on several dates where the woman just prattles off about all these awesome things she's doing, and all these awesome places shes going, and how great she is at her job, and all the awesome things she's done in the past and so on. I will smile and sit there and respond once in a while to be nice.
> 
> If a woman isn't interested in me I wish she would just say so, so I can forego the dessert and movie and just take her home.



This comes to mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRKZh-2j4PY


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## aine

Andy1001 said:


> When I was younger if she didn't sleep with me the first date that was a complete turn off.


OMG, any guy I met like that when I was younger would have been a complete turnoff!


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## aine

uhtred said:


> I only use those phrases very rarely , but to me they mean: (and I think that they apply equally to men and women).
> 
> High maintenance: A set of behaviors: Need things, in particular gifts / favors. Flowers are a *requirement*, not something that is met with happy appreciation. Need sex, back-rubs, something. Constantly needs help with something, but doesn't provide help in return. A general helplessness. Flat tire - call partner to leave work and drive over to help, rather than call a tow truck. Computer broken - call partner to fix it, even though they write software for a living. Family problems, need partner to help - which is fine, but not if they don't reciprocate.
> 
> Nagging: *Constantly telling someone to do something when they already know, and either have it lower on their priority list, or have decided not to do it. Often coupled with thinking that their own set of priorities for chores should take precedence over their partner's priorities*. Usually coupled with treating the partner like a child: "What, you haven't taken the trash out yet - *sigh*, I'll do it". (when it fact their partner is busy with something that may be equally or more important.
> 
> I think there is a lot of variation on how these terms are used, but I see both are a form of viewing their partners as servants, not equals.
> 
> 
> As I said, I use these rarely, and think that they apply to men and women who exhibit these sorts of behavior.


Remember ladies : If a man says he will fix it, he will. No need to remind him every 6 months


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## alexm

For me, it's a tricky one for most people - body confidence. (or really just confidence in general)

I once dated a woman for a couple of months who made such a big deal about her boobs being tiny, it drove me nuts. We were intimate throughout, yet I never once saw her breasts. Wasn't even allowed to touch them OVER her shirt. Now, I have a thing for small boobs, and I TOLD her this numerous times, yet it made no difference at all. We broke up for different reasons, but it always struck me as somewhat overboard, on her part.

I've also dated women who were plus-sized or close to it, my wife included, and not one of them has ever been shy about their bodies, believe it or not. THAT is sexy.


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## Ynot

Back to the OP:
A sense of entitlement - meaning they just think they deserve whatever because they are who they are. No need to earn it.
A lack of self respect - usually indicated by being out of shape and over weight. If you can't respect the house you live in, why would I expect you to respect me?
These are two things about women that turn me off.


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## jld

farsidejunky said:


> I didn't have that knowledge then, but understand it now. The problem was that she allowed this pain to overtake the joy in her life when she had plenty to be joyful about.
> 
> That is a terrible way to live, and I would have no interest in being partnered with someone who had to cope with life in such a way.


No, it would not have been the right match for you. I do hope she eventually found the right match for her, though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EllisRedding

tropicalbeachiwish said:


> LOL. And this is why I make sure to read your posts. :rofl:


Hey, I just don't want other dudes making the same mistakes I have made ... this was my first "girl"friend sigh ...


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## rockon

Wolf1974 said:


> I had a first date with a woman who showed up in her pjs, kid you not.


:surprise: Holy crap! I don't think I could have stopped laughing!


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## uhtred

Only if you you pressure your partner for very unbalanced sex - telling them that they *should* do things for you that you won't do for them. I think unbalance is the key. 

Its never high maintenance if you are asking for things that they genuinely enjoy providing. 




Red Sonja said:


> Thank you for explaining, the only thing I don't understand is the bolded ... if I need sex I am high maintenance?


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## uhtred

I don't think its that difference. Wanting / needing money is another form of wanting your partner to do things for you that you aren't doing for them. 




Mr. Nail said:


> Actually I'm a bit surprised, My definition of high maintenance is completely different. If you spend more per month on your hair, nails, or plastic surgery, than I spend on my truck payment, that's high maintenance.
> Nagging is the use of the "honey do" list as a control or punishment device.


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## Nucking Futs

Mr. Nail said:


> Actually I'm a bit surprised, My definition of high maintenance is completely different. If you spend more per month on your hair, nails, or plastic surgery, than I spend on my truck payment, that's high maintenance.
> Nagging is the use of the "honey do" list as a control or punishment device.


I wouldn't consider that high maintenance if she can afford it. If she's not making it my problem why would I have a problem with it?


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## WasDecimated

Here's my short list… 

A middle aged woman acts like a 20 year old...MLC 
Still into partying and drinking too much. Always needs to be going out somewhere. 
Has to be the center of attention…self-centered, narcissistic
A sense of entitlement, they deserve everything but return very little
High Maintenance…monetary and emotional, the ones who aren’t happy if you’re not spending money on them or doting over them
Women who expect to be constantly entertained and get bored if you don’t keep planning evermore elaborate dates and trips
Serial Daters, dating and sleeping with multiple men...high mileage
No career or passionate interests other than socializing
No money but spends whatever she has on looking like she does
Women who have let themselves go physically and have no interest in exercise or fitness.
Cell phone and Facebook addicts who constantly post new filtered selfies

Oh, and dishonesty!

That's it for now


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## CatJayBird

Daaaannngg....I must be super unattractive to most men....lol. No wonder...


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## Fishermanbear1984

Doesn't care about her physical appearance - overweight, poor hygeine

Unfeminine in appearance and behavior - ultra short hair, prefers masculine clothing

Too independent

No respect for authority

Rebellious or reckless behavior and brags about it. My wife thinks it's cool that she lost her drivers license due to an over abundance of tickets for speeding, etc. it's not cool and it's not funny.

Poor impulse control

Any kind of immaturity. I hate it when any grown adult exhibits childish behavior. Whining, sulking, "getting even". Grow up already.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## farsidejunky

Fishermanbear1984 said:


> Doesn't care about her physical appearance - overweight, poor hygeine
> 
> Unfeminine in appearance and behavior - ultra short hair, prefers masculine clothing
> 
> Too independent
> 
> No respect for authority
> 
> Rebellious or reckless behavior and brags about it. My wife thinks it's cool that she lost her drivers license due to an over abundance of tickets for speeding, etc. it's not cool and it's not funny.
> 
> Poor impulse control
> 
> Any kind of immaturity. I hate it when any grown adult exhibits childish behavior. Whining, sulking, "getting even". Grow up already.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


IOW, your STBXW.


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## WorkingOnMe

Nagging
"Responsive desire"
Words that don't match actions
Fearfulness (i.e. afraid of heights or fast bikes)
closed minded

ETA: Complaining. I really can't stand a complainer. Especially the type who's answer to a burnt out light bulb is to sit around in the dark and *****.


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## bandit.45

aine said:


> This comes to mind
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRKZh-2j4PY


That reminds me of this: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-g


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## Andy1001

The worst turn off for me is tattoos.I fcukin hate tattoos.
The other turn off is a woman who flirts with other guys to make you jealous.It doesn't work because I only know two women worth getting jealous over and one of them is gay.


----------



## bandit.45

Andy1001 said:


> The worst turn off for me is tattoos.I fcukin hate tattoos.
> The other turn off is a woman who flirts with other guys to make you jealous.It doesn't work because I only know two women worth getting jealous over and one of them is gay.


There is a single woman in my company who I would love to ask out. She is about 37 and smokin' hot. Cute, curvy little brunette with a nice ass and sexy short hair. She always dresses very nicely and in all other ways a lady. 

But then, she has this tat on the underside of her right forearm: a skull with ribbons! WTF??? :surprise:

I feel like asking her..."Did you just hop off some hairy dude's Harley after the ride to Sturgis?" 

Don't get me wrong, I love motorcycles and riding them, but why this lovely woman would choose such a gross image to "adorn" herself with is miles above my ability to fathom.


----------



## EunuchMonk

1. Emotional to the point of being delusional
2. Feminazi/man-hater
3. Woman who is "one of the boys"
4. Dishonest
5. Back-biter
6. Demonising those who don't support Killary
7. Promiscuous/****ty (old school will never die)
8. And of course humility

I want a good looking woman but 'am not anal about it like some men I know. I agree there are some who don't care how they look but want a model. Having seen my fair share of shallow beauties I focus on character first.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Miss Independent

.


----------



## Hope1964

Any woman who doesn't like football or beer will NOT get my vote.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

spinsterdurga said:


> What's wrong with being afraid of heights?




Honestly I'm only interested in a woman who can keep up. If I were looking again I'd only consider a woman who wanted to go on adventures with me. That would mostly involve climbing.

I guess a healthy fear would be fine. As long as it doesn't stop her from doing it.


----------



## Andy1001

bandit.45 said:


> There is a single woman in my company who I would love to ask out. She is about 37 and smokin' hot. Cute, curvy little brunette with a nice ass and sexy short hair. She always dresses very nicely and in all other ways a lady.
> 
> But then, she has this tat on the underside of her right forearm: a skull with ribbons! WTF??? :surprise:
> 
> I feel like asking her..."Did you just hop off some hairy dude's Harley after the ride to Sturgis?"
> 
> Don't get me wrong, I love motorcycles and riding them, but why this lovely woman would choose such a gross image to "adorn" herself with is miles above my ability to fathom.


I met an old nun in Scotland a few years ago.She was born in New York and had entered a convent at nineteen.Im not sure how old she was at the time but at least eighty.
She had a tattoo.She told me she had only drank alcohol once,on her eighteenth birthday and her friends had all chipped in to pay for her tattoo so she got one.It was a shamrock just below her collar on her back.I only seen it because I was visiting a cemetery and she was working on the garden.
Ask this woman out.


----------



## Ynot

Nucking Futs said:


> I wouldn't consider that high maintenance if she can afford it. If she's not making it my problem why would I have a problem with it?


But what about when it does become your problem, when she is late or takes so much time to get ready that it makes you late or won't participate in an activity because it might mess up her hair.

I used to take my ex to the beach every year. Not because I wanted to go to the beach, but because she wanted to go to the beach. We would drive 16 hours to go to the beach and she wouldn't even get in the water (ocean or pool) because it would mess up her hair. Screw that. I like women who like to dive in and get dirty. Fixing yourself up once in a while is great, but not all of the time to the detriment of enjoying life.
She spent at least an hour doing her hair everyday. It made it kind of hard to have any sympathy when she would whine about driving 1/2 hour to work, wanting to move to be closer and of course for me to pay for it all.


----------



## EleGirl

bandit.45 said:


> I didn't get much of any words in. She mostly talked about her upcoming promotion at work for about the whole meal. Then when we went to an art museum afterwards she talked about how her ex husband was an art expert and she talked about her ex boyfriends and all her past travails. I think she asked me two questions about myself the whole date.
> 
> When she found out I was a blue collar kid from a small southwestern town she kind of got a disappointed look on her face. She came from a privileged background. I guess she assumed I was a simpleton so she didn't ask me any more questions after that. :laugh:
> 
> It's okay though, because I felt no chemistry from the start. No loss. It was better than staying home doing nothing.


I've been out with men who do the same thing. I always bring up things about myself to see if they are just talking to fill the air and need the subject changed. There are always those who truly find themselves the most interesting topic of conversation.

What a bore.


----------



## lifeistooshort

Hope1964 said:


> Any woman who doesn't like football or beer will NOT get my vote.


I don't like beer.

I do however like football and vodka.

And rum.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Fozzy

bandit.45 said:


> There is a single woman in my company who I would love to ask out. She is about 37 and smokin' hot. Cute, curvy little brunette with a nice ass and sexy short hair. She always dresses very nicely and in all other ways a lady.
> 
> But then, she has this tat on the underside of her right forearm: a skull with ribbons! WTF??? :surprise:
> 
> I feel like asking her..."Did you just hop off some hairy dude's Harley after the ride to Sturgis?"
> 
> Don't get me wrong, I love motorcycles and riding them, but why this lovely woman would choose such a gross image to "adorn" herself with is miles above my ability to fathom.



I know that ladies with tats are considered one step above puppy killers on TAM, but I gotta say--I like 'em.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## CatJayBird

Fozzy said:


> I know that ladies with tats are considered one step above puppy killers on TAM, but I gotta say--I like 'em.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



FINALLY....someone! :wink2:


----------



## MattMatt

What turns me off about a woman? Being too thin.


----------



## zookeeper

Thoughtlessness. By that I mean someone who forms strong opinions with little thought or consideration, not someone who is inconsiderate of others.

Little makes me lose respect for someone faster than when they make bold assertions about some topic with no understanding of how they got there. Plain old ignorance usually travels hand in hand with this.


----------



## meson

Superficiality 

Being drunk

Woo girls

Saying I won't understand because its a woman thing


----------



## bandit.45

EleGirl said:


> I've been out with men who do the same thing. I always bring up things about myself to see if they are just talking to fill the air and need the subject changed. There are always those who truly find themselves the most interesting topic of conversation.
> 
> What a bore.


It's also disrespectful and rude.


----------



## 225985

Andy1001 said:


> The worst turn off for me is tattoos.I fcukin hate tattoos.
> The other turn off is a woman who flirts with other guys to make you jealous.It doesn't work because I only know two women worth getting jealous over and one of them is gay.


I hope the second one is J.


----------



## Jeffyboy

Unappreciative women. Women who expect things to be handed to them. I don't mind working hard for my woman but what really grinds my gears is when she doesn't express that appreciation.


----------



## farsidejunky

hope1964 said:


> any woman who doesn't like football or beer will not get my vote.


qft!!!

:d


----------



## uhtred

You are absolutely welcome to your opinion, but mine is different.

I'm not a great fan of tattoos in general, but a really interesting one can be very nice on a woman. It also adds a bit of the good sort of "bad girl" image. 

Excessive or bad tattoos are negative for me, but only mildly, not a big deal. 





Andy1001 said:


> The worst turn off for me is tattoos.I fcukin hate tattoos.
> The other turn off is a woman who flirts with other guys to make you jealous.It doesn't work because I only know two women worth getting jealous over and one of them is gay.


----------



## farsidejunky

lifeistooshort said:


> I don't like beer.
> 
> I do however like football and vodka.
> 
> And rum.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh wait...

Maybe I could amend my last post...


----------



## Fozzy

lifeistooshort said:


> I don't like beer.
> 
> I do however like football and vodka.
> 
> And rum.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Meh, for me it takes vodka or rum to make me interested in football in the first place.


----------



## Red Sonja

CatJayBird said:


> Daaaannngg....I must be super unattractive to most men....lol. No wonder...





Fishermanbear1984 said:


> *Too independent*


You're not the only one @CatJayBird ... the two bolded words above deter most men from me. :scratchhead:


----------



## NextTimeAround

jorgegene said:


> i ran into a similar type of thing when i was single.
> 
> i did the online dating thing, talked for a couple of weeks, then met for coffee. it went well, i thought.
> she was a bit on the heavy side, but very pretty and smart.
> we were together for a bout 2 hours, she showed interest, and i responded with interest and we agreed to meet again.
> 
> so i waited for her to call me, and a few days later she texted me to meet her at a club.
> 
> oh boy.....a date! i thought.
> 
> but no, i get there and it turns out there are like 3 other guys she invited like this was sort of a competition. the 'bachelorette'.
> 
> no bueno. that was the end of that. what are they thinking?



How old was she?


----------



## tropicalbeachiwish

MattMatt said:


> What turns me off about a woman? Being too thin.


Ditto for a man. I like men with a little meat on their bones. :grin2:


----------



## aine

bandit.45 said:


> That reminds me of this:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-g


LOL, wonder how Fergie (BEPs) appreciated that version?


----------



## aine

Jeffyboy said:


> Unappreciative women. Women who expect things to be handed to them. I don't mind working hard for my woman but what really grinds my gears is when she doesn't express that appreciation.


I find the whole topic of appreciation from a man's perspective. I always thought I showed appreciation, but apparently not so. should I start a thread?


----------



## notmyrealname4

Men _say_ they don't like "high maintenance" women. But they obviously prefer women who wear make-up, have long (or at least stylish hair), wear sexy clothes, high heels, get mani-pedi's , body waxing etc. etc.

So, from the responses so far on the thread, I think it's more accurate to say that men like H.M. women; they just don't like shelling out money for the maintenance.

When you're dating a woman; no, you should not have to pay a penny for her physical upkeep.

But if you marry such a gal, then beauty products and treatments are part of the household budget. And if you want to walk around with that beautiful doll on your arm; it doesn't make sense to complain about the extra hour-and-a-half it took her to make herself look that way.


----------



## farsidejunky

Confirmation bias. In fairness, I despise it in all people, but in my limited experience, it has been more prevalent in women. YMMV.

I have seen it in many things. Race. Sexism. Religion. Politics.

It is the psychology of victimhood. 

When one is looking hard enough for something, they will find it, whether it actually exists or not.


----------



## Wolf1974

notmyrealname4 said:


> Men _say_ they don't like "high maintenance" women. But they obviously prefer women who wear make-up, have long (or at least stylish hair), wear sexy clothes, high heels, get mani-pedi's , body waxing etc. etc.
> 
> So, from the responses so far on the thread, I think it's more accurate to say that men like H.M. women; they just don't like shelling out money for the maintenance.
> 
> When you're dating a woman; no, you should not have to pay a penny for her physical upkeep.
> 
> *Baut if you marry such a gal, then beauty products and treatments are part of the household budget. And if you want to walk around with that beautiful doll on your arm; it doesn't make sense to complain about the extra hour-and-a-half it took her to make herself look that way*.


Just out of curiosity if we are to consider treatments as household budgets does that mean we also get a say is what is done? I'm not married now but when I was this one area was a constant struggle with my x and I. We rarely fought but for this one issue. She wanted a tattoo and I didn't want her to get one. Now we were married so she was going to use our money for it and I disagreed that WE would have to pay for something she wanted and I hated. Her retaliation of course was to tell me I couldn't have lasik which I really wanted. Within 5 months of divorce she has her tattoos and I have lasik so just wondering how you felt about the spousal input on something like that when we are paying for it.

But for the record I have never ever complained about a woman dolling herself up for date night or spending money to look pretty. I do not consider that high maintenance at all just maintenance that comes along with the gender. HIGH maintenance would be I want to get my hair done but only at the most expensive place on town, or nails whatever. Or I want a new car but not just any car a top of the line Lexus, Audi , BMW etc...


----------



## Married but Happy

When they smell spoiled.


----------



## notmyrealname4

Wolf1974 said:


> Just out of curiosity if we are to consider treatments as household budgets does that mean we also get a say is what is done? I'm not married now but when I was this one area was a constant struggle with my x and I. We rarely fought but for this one issue. She wanted a tattoo and I didn't want her to get one. Now we were married so she was going to use our money for it and I disagreed that WE would have to pay for something she wanted and I hated. Her retaliation of course was to tell me I couldn't have lasik which I really wanted. Within 5 months of divorce she has her tattoos and I have lasik so just wondering how you felt about the spousal input on something like that when we are paying for it.
> 
> But for the record I have never ever complained about a woman dolling herself up for date night or spending money to look pretty. I do not consider that high maintenance at all just maintenance that comes along with the gender. HIGH maintenance would be I want to get my hair done but only at the most expensive place on town, or nails whatever. Or I want a new car but not just any car a top of the line Lexus, Audi , BMW etc...




I can't answer about tattoos. I recuse myself, because I can't stand them. I would be furious if my husband got a tattoo. They are hideous.

Lasix is a medical procedure to correct vision. I can't compare that with a tattoo. The only possible concern I would have is that you might be the one in a zillion person whose eyes get damaged by doing this.

But, I do agree that if the $ comes out of the household budget; then, yes, both parties should discuss the use of the money.

I think it's wiser to assign each spouse an allowance each month for their personal money. They can spend it on whatever they want.

I realize that doesn't cover the realm of personal preferences. Money for a tattoo, in my book, is the same as setting the money on fire.


----------



## EllisRedding

notmyrealname4 said:


> Men _say_ they don't like "high maintenance" women. But they obviously prefer women who wear make-up, have long (or at least stylish hair), wear sexy clothes, high heels, get mani-pedi's , body waxing etc. etc.
> 
> So, from the responses so far on the thread, I think it's more accurate to say that men like H.M. women; they just don't like shelling out money for the maintenance.
> 
> When you're dating a woman; no, you should not have to pay a penny for her physical upkeep.
> 
> But if you marry such a gal, then beauty products and treatments are part of the household budget. And if you want to walk around with that beautiful doll on your arm; it doesn't make sense to complain about the extra hour-and-a-half it took her to make herself look that way.


Just speaking for myself, I completely disagree. I did include High Maintenance in my list. The less make up the better (I prefer natural beauty). Don't really care for jewelry on women or dressing to a T in sexy clothes. Honestly, a woman just wearing one of my oversized tshirt/dress shirt and undies (optional) is sexy. Likewise, just being able to bum out with some comfy clothes and not afraid to just throw on a baseball cap. Trust me as well, budget is no issue so it is not like I would sit there doing the math, but if I saw a woman all sexied up with high heels, a lot of makeup, jewelry, flashy earrings, etc... she is not going to catch my attention.


----------



## CatJayBird

EllisRedding said:


> Just speaking for myself, I completely disagree. I did include High Maintenance in my list. The less make up the better (I prefer natural beauty). Don't really care for jewelry on women or dressing to a T in sexy clothes. Honestly, a woman just wearing one of my oversized tshirt/dress shirt and undies (optional) is sexy. Likewise, just being able to bum out with some comfy clothes and not afraid to just throw on a baseball cap. Trust me as well, budget is no issue so it is not like I would sit there doing the math, but if I saw a woman all sexied up with high heels, a lot of makeup, jewelry, flashy earrings, etc... she is not going to catch my attention.



This is my new cap...lol....I love it! HA!! Glad the kids don't understand the connotation...yet!


----------



## jorgegene

NextTimeAround said:


> How old was she?


she was probably about 49 yo.

i will give her the benefit of the doubt and say she was probably trying to play it 'safe'.

by that, i mean she maybe didn't want to have a 'real date' that might result in a guy trying to get too
amorous or try to score on the first date. so instead, she invited 3 guys including me, in a safe setting (a crowded club) to dance, 
see their vibe and sense if they're good material.

but it still smacked of a bit of self absorption to me. I mean really? someone will invite 3 guys to a meeting without telling them?
put the shoe on the other foot. a guy inviting 3 girls to a 'date'? yeh, right!

anyway, as it turned out; all for the best. that was the last of her, and i met my current wife a few weeks later.
3.5 years of marital bliss and counting............


----------



## notmyrealname4

EllisRedding said:


> *The less make up the better* (I prefer natural beauty). . . . . but if I saw a woman all sexied up with high heels, *a lot of makeup, jewelry, flashy earrings, etc.*.. she is not going to catch my attention.




Liar, liar, pants on fire.


----------



## EllisRedding

notmyrealname4 said:


> Liar, liar, pants on fire.


Its the tongue :grin2:


----------



## Mr. Nail

notmyrealname4 said:


> Men _say_ they don't like "high maintenance" women. But they obviously prefer . . . .





notmyrealname4 said:


> Liar, liar, pants on fire.


While we are talking about turnoffs that you don't believe we have, I'd like to ADD that I simply can't feel masculine when I am with a woman who is taller than 4' 6" (137 cm). I am also turned off by women who think they are so Hot that any man would change his politics just to get a date with them. I'm also turned off by the attitude that a wedding is her special day and all about her and if he shows up sober enough to say "I do" that's all he needs to do. And, my final unbelievable turn off (at least for this post) is Diamonds.


----------



## Lila

Mr. Nail said:


> While we are talking about turnoffs that you don't believe we have, I'd like to ADD that I simply* can't feel masculine when I am with a woman who is taller than 4' 6" *(137 cm).


So only little people need apply? 



Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


----------



## Mr. Nail

Lila said:


> So only little people need apply?
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


That is a shockingly biased term to use! :O


----------



## Faithful Wife

Wolf1974 said:


> Just out of curiosity if we are to consider treatments as household budgets *does that mean we also get a say is what is done?* I'm not married now but when I was this one area was a constant struggle with my x and I. We rarely fought but for this one issue. She wanted a tattoo and I didn't want her to get one. Now we were married so she was going to use our money for it and I disagreed that WE would have to pay for something she wanted and I hated. Her retaliation of course was to tell me I couldn't have lasik which I really wanted. Within 5 months of divorce she has her tattoos and I have lasik so just wondering how you felt about the spousal input on something like that when we are paying for it.
> .


You weren't asking me but....I have always deferred to my partner's opinion on such matters. But then, I've never been with anyone who was unreasonable about any of this stuff.

If he liked my hair longer, I'd wear it longer. If he liked the toes and fingernails painted, I would make sure they were most of the time. If he didn't like a certain perfume, I threw it out.

Tattoos, I personally think all spouses should have the final veto on that, if they are opposed. But again, I've never been with anyone who is unreasonable like that, so maybe I would change my mind on this one if I was.

But lasik? She told you that you couldn't get lasik? I realize it is an optional procedure and not about life or death, but geez....who wouldn't want their partner to be able to see better? :scratchhead:


----------



## Lila

Mr. Nail said:


> That is a shockingly biased term to use! :O


Really?? One of the largest groups in America dedicated to people of short stature or dwarfism is called Little People of America (LPA). They define it as adults shorter than 4'10. 

Is there a more politically correct term? 

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


----------



## Fozzy

farsidejunky said:


> Confirmation bias. In fairness, I despise it in all people, but in my limited experience, it has been more prevalent in women. YMMV.
> 
> I have seen it in many things. Race. Sexism. Religion. Politics.
> 
> It is the psychology of victimhood.
> 
> When one is looking hard enough for something, they will find it, whether it actually exists or not.


I'm not sure I follow on this one. Can you give a hypothetical example?


----------



## Mr. Nail

@Lila , You are correct the term "little people" is only offensive when it refers to people of lower economic status or of little political power. It is A OK when referring to people of short stature.

@Fozzy , Confirmation bias is when you claim that men like High Maintenance women because their avatar features a man wearing face paint. Of course it will soon be noted that my avatar obviously has a very expensive hair color treatment.


----------



## Ynot

notmyrealname4 said:


> Men _say_ they don't like "high maintenance" women. But they obviously prefer women who wear make-up, have long (or at least stylish hair), wear sexy clothes, high heels, get mani-pedi's , body waxing etc. etc.
> 
> So, from the responses so far on the thread, I think it's more accurate to say that men like H.M. women; they just don't like shelling out money for the maintenance.
> 
> When you're dating a woman; no, you should not have to pay a penny for her physical upkeep.
> 
> But if you marry such a gal, then beauty products and treatments are part of the household budget. And if you want to walk around with that beautiful doll on your arm; it doesn't make sense to complain about the extra hour-and-a-half it took her to make herself look that way.


I think you are confused. I think most women are confused or at least insecure enough to think it matters. My ex used to spend at least an hour a day putting on make up fixing and fixing her hair. I told her she didn't need it. She was beautiful as she was. But what did I know? I was just her dumb husband! 
She would spend a $100 to get a hair cut. If I told it looked nice, she would say how much she hated it. Then she would post a picture on facebook just to have all of hundreds of friends tell her how beautiful she looked.
Honestly, there is nothing sexier than a woman who will just climb out of bed after a good round of sex, throw on a baseball hat and hit the diner for breakfast.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Ynot said:


> Honestly, there is nothing sexier than a woman who will just climb out of bed after a good round of sex, throw on a baseball hat and hit the diner for breakfast.


I'm like this, but that's just on weekend mornings. I know he appreciates that I don't insist I have to do my face and hair on casual outings like this.

But he also loves it that I love getting all dolled up to hang on his arm when we go out to dinner.

And he loves my taste in fashion and enjoys seeing what ensemble I'll put together for work every day.

And then best of all are those special occasions when I get to buy something really special to wear. He has a holiday work party with a 007 theme coming up, and I had to get the perfect dress with the perfect shoes for it. He is renting a tux. We shall be simply fabulous. I can't wait.

I know he appreciates the effort I am going to in order to look so damn fine at his party, on his arm....but I'm actually doing it for me, not him. I love clothes. :x


----------



## Ynot

Faithful Wife said:


> I'm like this, but that's just on weekend mornings. I know he appreciates that I don't insist I have to do my face and hair on casual outings like this.
> 
> But he also loves it that I love getting all dolled up to hang on his arm when we go out to dinner.
> 
> And he loves my taste in fashion and enjoys seeing what ensemble I'll put together for work every day.
> 
> And then best of all are those special occasions when I get to buy something really special to wear. He has a holiday work party with a 007 theme coming up, and I had to get the perfect dress with the perfect shoes for it. He is renting a tux. We shall be simply fabulous. I can't wait.
> 
> I know he appreciates the effort I am going to in order to look so damn fine at his party, on his arm....but I'm actually doing it for me, not him. I love clothes. :x


Nothing wrong with that at all. The problem arises when it consumes your life and inhibits the enjoyment of it. My ex allowed it to consume her life (and mine) to the point of disrupting life. There is nothing worse than sitting around waiting for hours for your SO to get ready, especially when you aren't going any where special or you will never ever see the people you meet ever again (such as on a vacation in a distant place)


----------



## Faithful Wife

Ynot said:


> Nothing wrong with that at all. The problem arises when it consumes your life and inhibits the enjoyment of it. My ex allowed it to consume her life (and mine) to the point of disrupting life. *There is nothing worse than sitting around waiting for hours for your SO to get ready*, especially when you aren't going any where special or you will never ever see the people you meet ever again (such as on a vacation in a distant place)


Even for our special event coming up, it will not take me "hours" to get ready. Including shower and getting dressed, it will only take me one hour, tops.

I can't quite understand ever taking longer than that. Maybe for your own wedding, but other than that, I can't think of any time it should take "hours" to get ready for anything.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Mr. Nail said:


> While we are talking about turnoffs that you don't believe we have, *I'd like to ADD that I simply can't feel masculine when I am with a woman who is taller than 4' 6"* (137 cm). I am also turned off by women who think they are so Hot that any man would change his politics just to get a date with them. I'm also turned off by the attitude that a wedding is her special day and all about her and if he shows up sober enough to say "I do" that's all he needs to do. And, my final unbelievable turn off (at least for this post) is Diamonds.


Is this bolded part for real or were you being sarcastic?

So very few women are that short....are you very short also? I can't quite wrap my head around this one because I don't know any woman at all who is shorter than 4'11.

Perhaps you meant 5'6"?


----------



## Mr. Nail

I meant what I said. If it is acceptable for a woman to say that she can't feel feminine unless her male partner is a full foot taller than her then you should be ready to accept that a man can't really feel masculine unless his female partner is a full foot shorter than him. In fact you should expect it. 

I guess what I am *really* saying is I am *really* turned off by contradictory expectations, and Double Standards.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Mr. Nail said:


> I meant what I said. If it is acceptable for a woman to say that she can't feel feminine unless her male partner is a full foot taller than her then you should be ready to accept that a man can't really feel masculine unless his female partner is a full foot shorter than him. In fact you should expect it.
> 
> I guess what I am *really* saying is I am *really* turned off by contradictory expectations, and Double Standards.


Thank you for clearing it up.

I do get it.

I also agree, double standards and unreasonable expectations are stupid.

I like tall men. It is my preference. But if a man likes shorter or taller or bigger or smaller women than I am, I am not offended in the least. That is why I don't feel I have any double standards. I do look sideways when a fat, older, balding man has standards of younger, thinner, hotter women than what he is offering. So I hear ya on the double standards. That is silly. We can only expect to get what we can also give.

But as for the taller man preference...I am 5'4", so although a foot taller than me is wonderful and does make me feel attraction, it is not my bottom line requirement because that is not logical or reasonable....there are not that many men that tall. I am fine with someone at least 6'0", but my preference is 6'2" or 6'3".

I once dated a guy who preferred women who were 100 pounds or less. He was 6'3" and about 215 pounds. I was astounded at the teeny tiny size of women he preferred (especially in comparison to his size). Since this was not me at all, I was quickly turned off by his preference and we would have never been compatible....even though he claimed it was "only" a preference and that I was "just fine". Bleah, no. I can't even be with someone who has a preference like that.

For this very reason, I can totally understand a man rejecting a woman based on her preferences. If she is totally into something that to you seems really creepy, unreasonable, a double standard, or otherwise just "off", I get why you would reject her. It doesn't mean they are wrong about their preference. But if they can't actually deliver something as good as what they are asking for, then it is just weird to me.


----------



## heartsbeating

Batman has a regular commitment Sundays. He began inviting me to go for breakfast beforehand. This turned into a standing date. Sunday morning breakfast. He sees me plenty around home without makeup... I treat this as a date... the makeup and hair is done! He wouldn't care if it wasn't but it's how I turn up for a date. I can be completely ready within 30mins. We have good conversation that flows, enjoy the breakfast and coffee, then off he goes and I continue with whatever I have planned and meet back at home later.

I know a turn off for him is tardiness. For the longest time, I had a bad track record of being late. He told me he views it as disrespectful and realizing he had a point, began changing my ways. Now we are consistently on time and it's more enjoyable.


----------



## notmyrealname4

Mr. Nail said:


> Confirmation bias is when you claim that* men like High Maintenance women because their avatar features a man wearing face paint.*




[clears throat] It was a joke. And I'm pretty sure EllisRedding took it that way.


----------



## notmyrealname4

Faithful Wife said:


> But as for the taller man preference..*.I am 5'4"*, so although a foot taller than me is wonderful and does make me feel attraction, it is not my bottom line requirement because that is not logical or reasonable....there are not that many men that tall. * I am fine with someone at least 6'0", but my preference is 6'2" or 6'3".
> *
> I once dated a guy who preferred women who were 100 pounds or less. * He was 6'3" and about 215 pounds. I was astounded at the teeny tiny size of women he preferred (especially in comparison to his size). *



It's common for very tall men to prefer dainty women. As far as I can tell, these men are_ enchanted _by little, tiny feminine bodies. Perhaps because it's such a contrast to them, maybe?

A lot (probably most) guys over 6' would love to date a woman about 5'4"; you're in luck


----------



## Faithful Wife

notmyrealname4 said:


> It's common for very tall men to prefer dainty women. As far as I can tell, these men are_ enchanted _by little, tiny feminine bodies. Perhaps because it's such a contrast to them, maybe?
> 
> A lot (probably most) guys over 6' would love to date a woman about 5'4"; you're in luck


Yes, I'm dating one right now. And I love it.

However, I've dated (or married) more than one tall guy and they have generally preferred a woman who is taller than me. A few more inches, at least. Just for convenience sake, basically. A 5'7" woman would fit much better under the arm of the taller guys I've dated, even I can see that.

Though they definitely are not sorry with me, and I can wear heels to make up that difference. Therefore, their preference is only minor and they don't make me feel like a shorty.

The guy who was 6'3" and had a high preference for an 80 pound spinner....that one was just too weird for me and I could feel that his preference for that made him not as attracted to me. Just too weird, so I had to bail on that one (for other reasons too).

I had a female friend who was 5'0" and a real hottie. She dated guys of ALL heights, literally. From 5'2" (and I'm sure she would have dated a shorter guy than this) up to 6'5". She said she loved it that she could experience this whole range of different sizes of men. She said the shorter ones were the best fit for her though and she always felt closer to them, I think in part because she physically is closer to them than a super tall dude who would have to bend down half way just to kiss her. She was a real cutie and the boys loved her, short and tall.


----------



## Wolf1974

Faithful Wife said:


> You weren't asking me but....I have always deferred to my partner's opinion on such matters. But then, I've never been with anyone who was unreasonable about any of this stuff.
> 
> If he liked my hair longer, I'd wear it longer. If he liked the toes and fingernails painted, I would make sure they were most of the time. If he didn't like a certain perfume, I threw it out.
> 
> Tattoos, I personally think all spouses should have the final veto on that, if they are opposed. But again, I've never been with anyone who is unreasonable like that, so maybe I would change my mind on this one if I was.
> 
> But lasik? She told you that you couldn't get lasik? I realize it is an optional procedure and not about life or death, but geez....who wouldn't want their partner to be able to see better? :scratchhead:


This became a tit for tat thing by that point lol. So her stance was if I can't have this you shouldn't have that. My stance was so if I give up lasik you'll give up this tattoo talk, done and done. I felt that strongly about it.


----------



## aine

Mr. Nail said:


> @Lila , You are correct the term "little people" is only offensive when it refers to people of lower economic status or of little political power. It is A OK when referring to people of short stature.
> 
> @Fozzy , Confirmation bias is when you claim that men like High Maintenance women because their avatar features a man wearing face paint. Of course it will soon be noted that my avatar obviously has a very expensive hair color treatment.


In Ireland, the 'little people' are actually 'fairies' of folklore, but then the latter has certain connotations too. Language has become so unsafe nowadays


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## bandit.45

aine said:


> In Ireland, the 'little people' are actually 'fairies' of folklore, but then the latter has certain connotations too. Language has become so unsafe nowadays


Don't they toss dwarves in England for sport?


----------



## SimplyAmorous

notmyrealname4 said:


> Men _say_ they don't like "high maintenance" women. But they obviously prefer women who wear make-up, have long (or at least stylish hair), wear sexy clothes, high heels, get mani-pedi's , body waxing etc. etc.
> 
> So, from the responses so far on the thread, I think it's more accurate to say that men like H.M. women; they just don't like shelling out money for the maintenance.
> 
> When you're dating a woman; no, you should not have to pay a penny for her physical upkeep.
> 
> But if you marry such a gal, then beauty products and treatments are part of the household budget. And if you want to walk around with that beautiful doll on your arm; it doesn't make sense to complain about the extra hour-and-a-half it took her to make herself look that way.


I feel there are different variations of high maintenance... *aren't we all in some ways or another ?? * This is one area...the rich man can easily afford these types so I doubt they would mind at all...while they much appreciate the feminine benefits...

This doesn't mean us lower income women wouldn't care though... I have to say... I care a great deal about my looks.. I think even more so now that I am getting older, I'll be 50 tomorrow! Let the "Over the hill" wishes begin.. oh that was 10 yrs ago.. 

I care to look my best.... I want my husband to be turned on by ME.. I want "flirtation" and sex vibes in the air between us... I don't care how old we are.. It's just more FUN this way... makes me feel more alive, vibrant and young somehow... I love my dresses, my heels, some make up... putting on lingerie for him, French maid outfits, the hot Nurse.. Ebay's got some great deals... .so I save here over expensive mall shops..etc... also I'd never pay to get my nails done...or the high cost pampering some women do, any time I see a thread like that.. I'm one of the naysayers -that I'd never waste my money.... 

But still.. I paint my nails...love when he gives me a foot massage...we pamper ourselves.....

Something about longer hair on girls / on a woman... I know my husband wants that, he frowns on short hair.....but I love it too!!...even as a kid, when my step mother cut my hair short at age 9.. I looked at her like she was the wicked witch of the West... I hated her for doing that !!

If I love a product, a certain outfit I want....if it's on the more expensive side... I will scour the internet to find the best deal to be had...I want the most bang for my buck.. 

So not high maintenance here (money wise)..... I would say I'm more high maintenance in: Wanting to be with my guy & he better give me lots of lovin' & sex.. 

I don't take a lot of time in the bathroom either.. Many a times I am dressed, ready to go while I am waiting on our sons even.. I've told them there is something very wrong with that picture.


----------



## Andy1001

I shared an apt with two girls a few years agne of them never wore makeup,washed with a bar of soap and washed her hair with whatever shampoo was available and let her hair dry naturally.The other girl was really high maintenance and one day in her bedroom I counted 196 makeup bottles on her shelves and she had more in her handbag and in her bathroom.I still know them and the high maintenance really looks her age and the other girl looks ten years younger than she is.


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## Spicy

I'm a woman (duh)

Frankly, I agree with almost all of this stuff. Most qualities listed have annoyed the he!! out of me my whole life. Between these kind of girls in school and then in the work place. I couldn't wait to get away from them. Don't get me wrong, I've got awesome girlfriends who are down to earth, great people, and most of them are freaking hot. That being said, I remember these types y'all are talking about vividly. You always wonder what happened to them. When you do find out, they almost all ended up married. The really annoying ones have been married briefly and A LOT. No big shock there. 

I have my own set of "no-go for launch" in regard to men, but I swear it seems easier for us, (women) or at least it worked that way when I ended up single. Maybe I just fell into it, who knows.


----------



## bandit.45

Spicy said:


> I have my own set of "no-go for launch" in regard to men, but I swear it seems easier for us, (women) or at least it worked that way when I ended up single. Maybe I just fell into it, who knows.


Comparatively, a single woman can pull in three to four times the number of partners that a male can, simply because she has a pulse and a vagina. No woman should see herself as a special snowflake just because she can find a lot of men who would want to sleep with her. 

I'm not saying this about you. I'm talking across the board.


----------



## Spicy

bandit.45 said:


> Comparatively, a single woman can pull in three to four times the number of partners that a male can, simply because she has a pulse and a vagina. No woman should see herself as a special snowflake just because she can find a lot of men who would want to sleep with her.
> 
> I'm not saying this about you. I'm talking across the board.


No offense taken. In my opinion you are dead on. And if you are somewhat attractive with a good personality, you could be flat out fatal in the dating world. (I don't mean in the literal sense). I was only single briefly after my divorce (so I'm no expert) but I was SHOCKED at the responses and invites and everything I got for only 2 weeks on a dating site! I purposely did not post a picture! I wanted to see who had the balls to talk to me without a photo. Once I visited with someone for a while and they appeared to be a decent human I would eventually send them a pic. It felt like pandemonium to me. I could have had 5 dates a night, and never paid for food again. Flat out ABSURD! The power of the P. Gag. Not my thang. 

So glad I met my H so fast and never had to do all that. I would have been an epic fail. I am way to honest and very open about all my flaws right up front. (Probably a turn off). Men say my sex appeal is off the charts, and I now think that is a terrible quality to have while single when you are a very managomous person. It really educated me though. As did my DH. He had been in the online dating pool forever, and literally had NO HOPE that he would find anyone. He had been used so much by women who were only on these sites for what they could get out of the men. He simply viewed them as "oh well, I have to eat anyway". How sad is that? All the women he encountered were dating tons of men at the same time. My DH was looking to date only one person, and he couldn't find a woman that wanted the same thing. 

So I hear you loud and clear @bandit.45


----------



## lifeistooshort

Wolf1974 said:


> This became a tit for tat thing by that point lol. So her stance was if I can't have this you shouldn't have that. My stance was so if I give up lasik you'll give up this tattoo talk, done and done. I felt that strongly about it.


I don't have any tattoos and really dislike them, so maybe my opinion is a little biased.

I don't know why one would insist on getting one if they knew their partner would hate it. I'd feel a little self conscious whenever it was visible.... that can't be good for intimacy.

I don't care for them on men either. Except well done military ones (but only if you're a vet)......if you're a marine and have a well done marine tattoo on your arm ok.

But the sleeves I see on pro athletes? I find them off putting.

That applies to all kinds of things. True it is your body, but you should consider your spouse. My hb knows I dislike mustaches so I doubt he'd grow one. He wants to be appealing to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort

Mr. Nail said:


> I meant what I said. If it is acceptable for a woman to say that she can't feel feminine unless her male partner is a full foot taller than her then you should be ready to accept that a man can't really feel masculine unless his female partner is a full foot shorter than him. In fact you should expect it.
> 
> I guess what I am *really* saying is I am *really* turned off by contradictory expectations, and Double Standards.


I see no issue if you like women to be 4'6 or less.....that's up to you. 

My impression was that FW was referring to the fact that it seemed a little unusual because of the very few women that short.

Kind of like if I preferred men at least 7' tall. It would be a little unusual as few men are that tall.

But you like what you like. No need for anyone to apologize for their preferences, assuming of course it's all legal and nothing cruel is being demanded.

I'm 5'4, and if I was asked I'd say I preferred men at least 5'9, but it's not a deal breaker. If I connected with a guy shorter than that I'd be fine. 

Just like in the abstract I probably wouldn't have considered a guy 19 years older, but we met and connected.

We joke sometimes about the odds a dating site would set us up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## heartsbeating

SimplyAmorous said:


> I feel there are different variations of high maintenance... *aren't we all in some ways or another ?? * This is one area...the rich man can easily afford these types so I doubt they would mind at all...while they much appreciate the feminine benefits...
> 
> This doesn't mean us lower income women wouldn't care though... I have to say... I care a great deal about my looks.. I think even more so now that I am getting older, I'll be 50 tomorrow! Let the "Over the hill" wishes begin.. oh that was 10 yrs ago..


We have a guilty pleasure show that we watch together called First Dates.

There's always running commentary between us during this show. The show sets up a blind date where the couple have a chance of being well-matched. They meet at a restaurant where everyone is on a First Date and it's filmed. It's entertaining and strangely, humanistic. When there's a compatible match, it's endearing.

As soon as they sit down, my husband has piped up 'Oh she's going to be high maintenance!' I've asked how he can tell and what that means to him. His interpretation of high maintenance is more along the lines of being rigid or demanding. Then we see the woman ordering her drink in a very specific 'complicated' way and he says 'I knew it.' It's not just about liking things a certain way though; it's the body language, being rigid and non-inclusive, which does often pan out in the dynamic of the first date. 

He doesn't like heavy makeup, false eyelashes, botox faces but he won't comment on appearance as being high maintenance. If he comments about appearance, he will say 'She seems like a good person' and it's generally when they're easy to laugh and more natural. When he refers to high maintenance it's related to behavior.


----------



## rockon

T/J on
@SimplyAmorous


Happy 50th birthday!! :bounce:


It only gets better from here!


T/J off


----------



## SimplyAmorous

heartsbeating said:


> We have a guilty pleasure show that we watch together called First Dates.
> 
> There's always running commentary between us during this show. The show sets up a blind date where the couple have a chance of being well-matched. They meet at a restaurant where everyone is on a First Date and it's filmed. It's entertaining and strangely, humanistic. When there's a compatible match, it's endearing.
> 
> As soon as they sit down, my husband has piped up 'Oh she's going to be high maintenance!' I've asked how he can tell and what that means to him. His interpretation of high maintenance is more along the lines of being rigid or demanding*. Then we see the woman ordering her drink in a very specific 'complicated' way and he says 'I knew it.' * It's not just about liking things a certain way though; it's the body language, being rigid and non-inclusive, which does often pan out in the dynamic of the first date.
> 
> He doesn't like heavy makeup, false eyelashes, botox faces but he won't comment on appearance as being high maintenance. If he comments about appearance, he will say 'She seems like a good person' and it's generally when they're easy to laugh and more natural. When he refers to high maintenance it's related to behavior.


I wonder if your husband would consider me high maintenance... I am a cheap date.. I always order water ...BUT I am particular about how much ICE I have in my glass... sometimes I ask for a cup of ice on the side as few waitresses seem to hear the "fill the cup with ice 1st" part ... I just don't like it if my ice melts before I'm finished.. it bothers me... I want my drinks chillin'...even if it's just water.. 



Andy1001 said:


> I shared an apt with two girls a few years agne of them never wore makeup,washed with a bar of soap and washed her hair with whatever shampoo was available and let her hair dry naturally.The other girl was really high maintenance and one day in her bedroom I counted 196 makeup bottles on her shelves and she had more in her handbag and in her bathroom.I still know them and the high maintenance really looks her age and the other girl looks ten years younger than she is.


 I'd estimate I spend less than $50 a year on make up, Moisturizers for my face, body.... I try different shampoos/ conditioners... get what's on sale with coupons even....some brands are better than others...tried Walmarts comparable moisturizer once.. too oily... some mascaras are awful.. I'll stick with "Great Lash- Maybelline" for $5 ... He doesn't even care if I wear make up at all.. I just really LIKE some mascara & lip stick at the very least... 

It about kills me to go to a Mary Kay Party.. a lip stick might be $15 ... I think I paid like $40 once to try one of their Moisturizers .... I can't say I felt that stuff was any better over Oil or Olay's regenerating hydration cream..



rockon said:


> T/J on
> 
> @SimplyAmorous
> 
> 
> Happy 50th birthday!! :bounce:
> 
> 
> It only gets better from here!
> 
> 
> T/J off


 Lots to be thankful for - for sure... I really think our 40's were "the best of times"... I wanted so badly to just "stop time" -I felt this strongly the last decade....but who knows.. I was surely surprised last week...we had our blood tested together, yearly physical we generally blow off...for the 1st time ever.. our cholesterol was good !.. mine was within all limits -though I had a touch of anemia.. (think I got that cleared up) and his was only slightly over ... generally we're both a little too high.. 

I got a little emotional earlier...thinking of the kids growing up, how it's all going TOO FAST...today went to a Game, watching 2 of our sons drumming for their college Band... then thinking of their Pediatrician on the way home, love that man...been with us for 26 yrs.. he's retiring soon...the end of a season in our lives.. .this caused some tears even ...then it went to this being the last day of my beloved 40's ...it's been a Great ride..but still ...can't we just stop the hands of time.. rest here awhile... no more wrinkles, stay away menopause!!... 

He says in the car - even if I looked like I was 80.. he'd still want me...he lays it on thick sometimes.. but yeah it's pretty sweet.


----------



## aine

bandit.45 said:


> Don't they toss dwarves in England for sport?


I thought that was in the US?

Caber tossing in Scotland to be sure aye.


----------



## Hope Shimmers

bandit.45 said:


> Guys, what personality traits in a woman are a turnoff to you?
> 
> It is self-centered women for me. I hate it when I take a woman out on a date and all she does is talk about herself only. I went on date a couple weeks ago and the lady only talked about her career, her and what she was doing and where she was going in life. I felt like I was conducting a job interview. Not once did she ask me about myself or where I was from, or what my likes are, or try to get to know me. Very off-putting.


...


----------



## bandit.45

Hope Shimmers said:


> I am not a guy, but I can tell you that my ex of 16 months only ever talked about himself. He NEVER asked me about me.
> 
> The first few months we were together I worked about 100 hours a week as a physician and he never - not once - asked me how I was. Instead he yelled at me for not being there for him. I wasn't even there for ME, just trying to survive
> 
> Learned some hard lessons


Damn. I would have brought you coffee and a sandwich.


----------



## bandit.45

aine said:


> I thought that was in the US?
> 
> Caber tossing in Scotland to be sure aye.


Fvcking Yanks....


----------



## arbitrator

*With strict regard to my RSXW, I am also turned off by women (any gender really) who seem to have an arrogant, "know-it-all" attitude around people they are either just getting to know or are trying to unduly impress! I also abhor whiny, bit€hy, manipulative women!

I am far more impressed by what is in the heart and soul of a person as well as the content of their character, moreso than I ever would be about the amount of intelligence or the manipulative resolve that they ever possessed!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## southbound

heartsbeating said:


> As soon as they sit down, my husband has piped up 'Oh she's going to be high maintenance!' I've asked how he can tell and what that means to him. His interpretation of high maintenance is more along the lines of being rigid or demanding. Then we see the woman ordering her drink in a very specific 'complicated' way and he says 'I knew it.' It's not just about liking things a certain way though; it's the body language, being rigid and non-inclusive, which does often pan out in the dynamic of the first date.
> 
> He doesn't like heavy makeup, false eyelashes, botox faces but he won't comment on appearance as being high maintenance. If he comments about appearance, he will say 'She seems like a good person' and it's generally when they're easy to laugh and more natural. When he refers to high maintenance it's related to behavior.


Behavior and attitude have a lot to do with my definition of high maintenance as well. Wearing makeup and having a personal preference for things is all fine, but having an set back in this preference always being an emergency and not being able to just go with the flow on occasions is the high maintenance part in my opinion. Everything can't always be perfect or to our liking. 

My 18 year old daughter, for example, takes an hour to get ready. That doesn't really bother me; I actually think it's cute and we joke about it, but if she happens to be out of a certain make-up or something, she just makes due and goes on until she can logically get more. It's not like the earth stops spinning, and I know several women that would make a big deal of that. 

As for the financial side of it, I realize it takes money to have things. An example of high maintenance in that area would be a woman who is always adding to the list an being hard to satisfy. If there are 3 bedrooms, she needs four; or she needs major action because some little cosmetic mishap occurred with the car, etc.



SimplyAmorous said:


> I wonder if your husband would consider me high maintenance... I am a cheap date.. I always order water ...BUT I am particular about how much ICE I have in my glass... sometimes I ask for a cup of ice on the side as few waitresses seem to hear the "fill the cup with ice 1st" part ... I just don't like it if my ice melts before I'm finished.. it bothers me... I want my drinks chillin'...even if it's just water..


This preference wouldn't bother me at all. The issue would come as to how big of an issue it would be if it wasn't done correctly by the waiter. Would there be a small scene? Would we spend 10 minutes trying to get that right before life could go on? 

I don't know what it is about going to a restaurant, but it brings out the pickiest in some people. there are people that i avoid going to restaurants with because I know there will always be an issue and my dining with them will not be a relaxed, pleasant experience. 

I went out with a woman once who didn't want a slice of lemon on the edge of her water glass. It was brought with lemon, and she had them take it back. The thing is, the waiter had already walked away before she noticed, so her restaurant world stopped turning until she could get the waiter back and bring her a glass of water without the lemon. Of course, my weird mind was wondering why she couldn't have just removed the slice of lemon herself and put it aside?

Using this as an example to expand on high maintenance in general, it would also matter to me if this type of thing carried over into all aspects of life. It's water and ice at the restaurant, is there something like this in every aspect of life?


----------



## SimplyAmorous

southbound said:


> This preference wouldn't bother me at all. The issue would come as to how big of an issue it would be if it wasn't done correctly by the waiter. Would there be a small scene? Would we spend 10 minutes trying to get that right before life could go on?


 Oh no.. I hate to bother anyone...I know how utterly minor this is... sure I'm not real happy if she blew off my request.. if my glass comes back with 3 small cubes in it....but I wouldn't say a thing until she came back & asked how we're doing.. then I might.... even then it depends ... as sometimes I just take my husbands ice!

He offers it- willingly...not necessarily at the start, but if mine all melted, they'd be mine...

This is how it goes...when our waters come.. we eye up the ice.. and I get the one with the most.. ha ha... When we get pizza.. I go for the thinnest slices.. he'll grab the thicker ones... I guess New York style is my thing, where to him.. none of these things would matter at all..



> I went out with a woman once who didn't want a slice of lemon on the edge of her water glass. It was brought with lemon, and she had them take it back. The thing is, the waiter had already walked away before she noticed, so her restaurant world stopped turning until she could get the waiter back and bring her a glass of water without the lemon. Of course, my weird mind was wondering why she couldn't have just removed the slice of lemon herself and put it aside?


 I would kick myself to bother someone over something this insignificant...Yep...just take it out...I wish 1 lemon slice was flavorful.. I sure can't taste it! Heck.. I think it's a real treat if they bring some extras... I try to make a little lemonade out of that....

BUt yeah...take it out.. wrap it in a piece of napkin... set it aside.. or switch glasses -like above.. ha ha


----------



## bandit.45

I'm an ice junkie too S.A. Guess it has to do with spending most of my life in 100+ degree weather.


----------



## bandit.45

My ex was very particular about her makeup. Once, for her birthday, she asked me to buy her some foundation. We went to this particular store to buy this very particular foundation that she wanted. So the sales lady comes up with this small flat container of foundation and I handed her my card. Didn't ask the price. 

One hundred f*cking dollars!!!!

A Franklin for little piss-ass jar of makeup. I was stunned. 

Just another one of ten thousand dumbass things I did for that woman.


----------



## Blondilocks

SA, you know that when your husband thinks of you that his mental picture is of that skinny high school girl whom he fell head over heels for.


----------



## 3Xnocharm

If you want to see MY definition of high maintenance, watch a few episodes of House Hunters on HGTV! Sometimes its the husband who is an ass, but most episodes have a HM wife nitpicking everything INCLUDING the husband!


----------



## heartsbeating

SA no, my husband wouldn't consider your ice request as high maintenance.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## notmyrealname4

notmyrealname4 said:


> Men _say_ they don't like "high maintenance" women. But they obviously prefer women who wear make-up, have long (or at least stylish hair), wear sexy clothes, high heels, get mani-pedi's , body waxing etc. etc.
> 
> So, from the responses so far on the thread, I think it's more accurate to say that men like H.M. women; they just don't like shelling out money for the maintenance.
> 
> When you're dating a woman; no, you should not have to pay a penny for her physical upkeep.
> 
> But if you marry such a gal, then beauty products and treatments are part of the household budget. And if you want to walk around with that beautiful doll on your arm; it doesn't make sense to complain about the extra hour-and-a-half it took her to make herself look that way.





Ynot said:


> *I think you are confused. I think most women are confused or at least insecure enough to think it matters.* My ex used to spend at least an hour a day putting on make up fixing and fixing her hair. I told her she didn't need it. She was beautiful as she was. But what did I know? I was just her dumb husband!
> She would spend a $100 to get a hair cut. If I told it looked nice, she would say how much she hated it. Then she would post a picture on facebook just to have all of hundreds of friends tell her how beautiful she looked.
> Honestly, there is nothing sexier than a woman who will just climb out of bed after a good round of sex, throw on a baseball hat and hit the diner for breakfast.




What I have seen over my lifetime (51 y.o.) is that the women in our society that men find the most attractive: nude models (eg. the old _Playboy_, _Penthouse_ etc. centerfolds), a significant number of pornography performers, mainstream swimsuit and lingerie models, strippers-----these women are highly cosmetically enhanced.

Sure, there will be a niche market for men who prefer "natural beauty". I remember hearing about either a site or print magazine with topless pictures of women who were certified to have natural breasts only---because some men are turned off by plastic t*ts.

But most men aren't. Why would all these glamour girls be caked with make-up and peroxided hair if most men preferred the bare-faced, brunette wearing a baseball cap, baggy t-shirt and flip-flops?

So, to answer your original premise; am I confused?


I go by what I have witnessed and experienced. I suppose in spite of all that, I may still be confused. But I believe I am being honest.


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## Ynot

notmyrealname4 said:


> What I have seen over my lifetime (51 y.o.) is that the women in our society that men find the most attractive: nude models (eg. the old _Playboy_, _Penthouse_ etc. centerfolds), a significant number of pornography performers, mainstream swimsuit and lingerie models, strippers-----these women are highly cosmetically enhanced.
> 
> Sure, there will be a niche market for men who prefer "natural beauty". I remember hearing about either a site or print magazine with topless pictures of women who were certified to have natural breasts only---because some men are turned off by plastic t*ts.
> 
> But most men aren't. Why would all these glamour girls be caked with make-up and peroxided hair if most men preferred the bare-faced, brunette wearing a baseball cap, baggy t-shirt and flip-flops?
> 
> So, to answer your original premise; am I confused?
> 
> 
> I go by what I have witnessed and experienced. I suppose in spite of all that, I may still be confused. But I believe I am being honest.


I would venture to guess most men don't find plastic, overly made up glamour girls all that attractive. They just want someone who is reasonably good looking, that take care of themselves and don't require high maintenance. You are confused by what guys say with what guys do. Few of us want to be around high maintenance glamour queens that you aren't allowed to touch for fear of messing up the image.


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## SimplyAmorous

bandit.45 said:


> My ex was very particular about her makeup. Once, for her birthday, she asked me to buy her some foundation. We went to this particular store to buy this very particular foundation that she wanted. So the sales lady comes up with this small flat container of foundation and I handed her my card. Didn't ask the price.
> 
> One hundred f*cking dollars!!!!
> 
> A Franklin for little piss-ass jar of makeup. I was stunned.
> 
> Just another one of ten thousand dumbass things I did for that woman.


I'm kind of a stickler for asking what something is going to cost.. I don't like surprises. I have walked away not liking a price. I don't much care if it looks bad either.. I guess it's a good thing I am a woman.. a man might get beat over the head for that or called a cheap *** **** ... but really.. your story here.. that's absurd.


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## notmyrealname4

Ynot said:


> I would venture to guess most men don't find plastic, overly made up glamour girls all that attractive. They just want someone who is reasonably good looking, that take care of themselves and don't require high maintenance. You are confused by what guys say with what guys do. *Few of us want to be around high maintenance glamour queens that you aren't allowed to touch for fear of messing up the image.*



You are describing your preferences. Good for you. I believe you are in the minority.

Sex sells. So the images are calculated to reach as many of the target demographic as possible.

With regards to selling sex to straight men; you give the people what they want; not what they need.

If casually made-up, comfortably dressed, natural girls would sell more pin-ups 'n' porn; then that would have been the type of woman that dominated the sexual media.














































I think Marilyn (Norma Jean) and Pamela look beautiful before their transformations. But although, naturally beautiful; apparently natural beauty isn't enough.


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## farsidejunky

I don't at all. Light make up is cool, but not nearly as interesting as a woman who has natural beauty.

A woman who wakes up and is still beautiful is rare. Now, if you find one like that who likes football and MMA, she may be a keeper.



Ynot said:


> I would venture to guess most men don't find plastic, overly made up glamour girls all that attractive. They just want someone who is reasonably good looking, that take care of themselves and don't require high maintenance. You are confused by what guys say with what guys do. Few of us want to be around high maintenance glamour queens that you aren't allowed to touch for fear of messing up the image.


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## Ynot

notmyrealname4 said:


> You are describing your preferences. Good for you. I believe you are in the minority.
> 
> Sex sells. So the images are calculated to reach as many of the target demographic as possible.
> 
> With regards to selling sex to straight men; you give the people what they want; not what they need.
> 
> If casually made-up, comfortably dressed, natural girls would sell more pin-ups 'n' porn; then that would have been the type of woman that dominated the sexual media.
> 
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> 
> I think Marilyn (Norma Jean) and Pamela look beautiful before their transformations. But although, naturally beautiful; apparently natural beauty isn't enough.


And I think you are confusing fantasy with reality. Any real man knows the difference and would much rather be with a women with natural beauty (in their eyes) who can wake up in the morning, pull on a baseball cap and go to breakfast, than some high maintenance glam girl that requires a dump truck full of make up and couple of trowels to apply it before deigning to show her face to the public. Because men know the difference between fantasy and reality. There is nothing wrong with appealing to and engaging in fantasy once in a while, but most people (not just guys) realize that we all live in the real world. Knock yourself if you want to, but the only thing you will attract are fools who like your make up but could care less about the person.


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## wild jade

notmyrealname4 said:


> I think Marilyn (Norma Jean) and Pamela look beautiful before their transformations. But although, naturally beautiful; apparently natural beauty isn't enough.


I agree! If natural beauty were really considered beautiful, then why is it that virtually all women wear make-up, do the hair and nails thing, wear heels, and on an on. 

Why do absolutely and perfectly beautiful women get all kinds of plastic surgery, dye jobs, wear extensive makeup? To be beautiful.


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## moth-into-flame

GuyInColorado said:


> Messed up teeth.


Lol.


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## moth-into-flame

Hammer toes. And if they've killed previous partners in their sleep.


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## aine

wild jade said:


> I agree! If natural beauty were really considered beautiful, then why is it that virtually all women wear make-up, do the hair and nails thing, wear heels, and on an on.
> 
> Why do absolutely and perfectly beautiful women get all kinds of plastic surgery, dye jobs, wear extensive makeup? To be beautiful.


Because it is a man's world!


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## MrsHolland

moth-into-flame said:


> Hammer toes.* And if they've killed previous partners in their sleep*.


Sometimes these things just happen >


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## sherrisees

In GOD'S eyes all humans are beautiful HE created us all to be unique in all shapes and forms no matter for natural beauty, or natural ugliness. We are all tremendously loved the same, So we should follow after HIM with unconditional love for others no matter if they'll women wearing makeup or not !!!

Sent from my LG-H345 using Tapatalk


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## nursejackie

I think men find woman who are willing to have sex attractive -in the moment-thus they can find all sorts of "looks" acceptable for the short run....

High maintenance....my daughters who are both beyond beautiful take an hour to enhance their beauty before they go out at night.....I take 15 mins to get ready for a wedding. 

I am not opposed to fighting the aging process or at least lightening its effects. I get fake eyelashes, mani/pedi and waxing before going on vacation -then I only need to apply lipgloss and sunscreen to be ready (in 2 min). That would appeal to the roll out of bed and put a baseball cap on group...

35 years ago (when it was not very commonplace) - I was 19 - I had a "boob" job. Nothing big just more than god gave me. I didnt like the way I looked in clothes and spent too much time thinking about it. I never had any problems getting boyfriends so it wasn't to attract men...(in fact I was very conscious of the fact I did NOT want that to be an obvious "feature". Saved up my $ from a part-time job researched the surgeons in the area and problem solved. I absolutely shudder to think what my parents must have thought of me. After 35 years of gravity they look pretty natural -lol. I dont consider myself plastic or fake any more than someone who dyes their hair or puts make up on. Its all an illusion.

Geez I love being anonymous! I never talk about that!

My dad had a pic of my mom from when they got married on a shelf. She was beautiful. Sometimes he'd shake his head near the end (when she was swollen up beyond imaginable with breathing mask and sores all over) stroke her hair and say "ach my wee kitten, how did it ever come to this...." I think he saw through all that and his love for her allowed him to see her beauty.


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## Talker67

turn off: if they talk incessantly

and more recently, if you listen to some liberal radio or tv show, and then come in an parrot off the fake or racist ultra left news you just heard as if it were fact....


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## MSalmoides

...


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## bandit.45

Inability to cook. 

I'm not a bad cook, and I enjoy cooking. But I want a woman who will share the cooking chores 50/50 and at least be able to cook something edible. The inability to cook is a deal breaker for me.


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## Spotthedeaddog

bandit.45 said:


> Guys, what personality traits in a woman are a turnoff to you?
> 
> It is self-centered women for me. I hate it when I take a woman out on a date and all she does is talk about herself only. I went on date a couple weeks ago and the lady only talked about her career, her and what she was doing and where she was going in life. I felt like I was conducting a job interview. Not once did she ask me about myself or where I was from, or what my likes are, or try to get to know me. Very off-putting.


bad hygiene.
extreme swearing.
lack of personal awareness.
caught in the cult of "positive thinking/love solves everything"
lack of personal responsibility
refusing to communicate (always talks at tangent)
hears but won't listen
fiscal ineptitude
won't participate in things
gross/overeating habit (eg >200kg)
blame gamer
user/person power seeker only interested in her own personal influence

...there's a reason I don't bother looking for dates much


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