# I can't get over it.



## Husbandsapprentice (Aug 14, 2016)

Through this new investment in my 20 year marriage, and our sex life. I am totally fusterated at myself that I just can't seem to completely let go & stop feeling insecure about him fully seeing me.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

Husbandsapprentice said:


> Through this new investment in my 20 year marriage, and our sex life. I am totally fusterated at myself that I just can't seem to completely let go & stop feeling insecure about him fully seeing me.


Go on. Give us the details.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Men are visual, turn the lights up & get naked. Trust me, all thru the day, while he's at work, he will think about how GOOD you looked!


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Would a few drinks help?

It's a serious question. 

After you get used to it - maybe do it sober.



Husbandsapprentice said:


> Through this new investment in my 20 year marriage, and our sex life. I am totally fusterated at myself that I just can't seem to completely let go & stop feeling insecure about him fully seeing me.


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## Husbandsapprentice (Aug 14, 2016)

I do, it's just awkward right now & I feel it inhibits me. Which is counterproductive!


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## Husbandsapprentice (Aug 14, 2016)

Alcohol helps, to a certain extent. I have to be careful w that. I get drunk off 1/2 glass of wine. 2 glasses, I black out. Happened Friday. From what I remember, it was good. :/


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

My wife is in her mid 50s. She had a partial mastectomy for breast cancer and has a bad scar. 

I LOVE to see her naked. I don't see any flaws at all, I see the beautiful girl I married 30 years ago. 

I think many men are like this. It sounds like he loves you - you are beautiful to him.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Husbandsapprentice said:


> Through this new investment in my 20 year marriage, and our sex life. I am totally fusterated at myself that I just can't seem to completely let go & stop feeling insecure about him fully seeing me.


Until I learnt to be vulnerable I also had body issues.

The process of learning to be vulnerable came about as a by-product of the counselling I was doing after D.

Try doing some counselling to learn about your deepest darkest vulnerabilities (could be something else all together). Once you feel confident in yourself you will feel confident in your skin.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

uhtred said:


> My wife is in her mid 50s. She had a partial mastectomy for breast cancer and has a bad scar.
> 
> I LOVE to see her naked. I don't see any flaws at all, I see the beautiful girl I married 30 years ago.
> 
> I think many men are like this. It sounds like he loves you - you are beautiful to him.


This might be the most beautiful thing I've read on here.  I hope to have this kind of marriage, someday.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

:smile2:
But don't wish for a marriage quite like mine. My wife is nearly asexual. Is still love her though.



*Deidre* said:


> This might be the most beautiful thing I've read on here.  I hope to have this kind of marriage, someday.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Husbandsapprentice said:


> I do, it's just awkward right now & I feel it inhibits me. Which is counterproductive!


My wife is the same way. I am HD and she is LD. She has huge self-image issues. We came very close to divorce, but a Sex Therapist and a lot of self change helped save our marriage.

My wife, goes to Curves twice a week and we sometimes go on walks together on weekends. Her getting in better shape has helped her self-image issues a lot! She still is uncomfortable with sex with the lights on or wearing any kind of lingerie for me as she doesn't want me to see her body, even though I love her and her body and praise her on how she looks. She has gotten more comfortable with sex, but still won't be completely naked for me. 

You might want to get one of MW Davis books on Divorce Busting, etc. She suggests a number of things you may or may not benefit from. Davis is the master of the 180 and the Nike, Just Do It! philosophy of sex. She also stresses the importance of GAL, which is getting a life and becoming a better you, a more confident you, a more interesting and sexy you.

Good Luck


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