# Mate guarding, being hit on and how couples deal with it.



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I have been inspired by @Andy1001 and @heartsbeating to pay closer attention to interactions between men and women and since I travel, I am able to observe many situations.

Since I started paying more attention, I have been surprised at how accurate @Andy1001 was in regards to traveling women wanting brief hookups and thanks to the thread @heartsbeating started, I started paying attention to older men hitting on much younger women. There are a number of women who have remarked about ridiculous attention from much older men that got me focused.

Well, I got checked out tonight by a travelling woman and witnessed a ridiculous pass made by a fairly old dude toward a young woman sitting right next to her man!

He wasn't mate guarding and the old dude was holding hands with his woman and leaning at a ridiculous angle to get his face next to hers.

I snapped a couple shots to illustrate the situation so no copying or quoting please. They aren't identity revealing but shouldn't be copied regardless.

If this guy had been hitting on Mrs Conan when we were younger, I would have moved chairs to put myself between my lady and this wanna be lothario. Mate guarding.

Mrs. C also wouldn't have allowed her hand to be held and would have been looking to me to make a mate guarding move.

What say you? How would you handle this situation and just how prevalent is the situation where old men are hitting on young women, especially right in front of her man???


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Responsibility is usually on the one being hit on. She seems fairly happy, her body language says a lot. She’s leaning in.

I’d simply say something filthy, and stamp my chair around. And I’m mostly a lady and don’t cuss a lot. If I made it clear right from the beginning that I wasn’t interested and they persisted, that’s when my husband would step in and finish off. But we haven’t had that happen, I’m mean enough to not let it go very far. 

Shoe on the other foot, if I was bold enough to approach a man sitting next to a woman? And do that?? Best case-scenario would be for the women to leave and tell us both where to go. 

I hope the guy left her there and traded up. 

Of course we see just a few pics, so I don’t know how it ended.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

To me, that woman is enjoying being hit on. She's smiling and leaning in, not sending him away or trying to ignore him. The boyfriend/husband seems to be just sitting there smiling/laughing, so it doesn't look like he cared either (or he's too much of a ***** to do anything about it). 

That certainly isn't the reaction my wife or I would have in that situation.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Mate guarding to me is for when and if my wife's is being harassed and the dude not getting the hints. Other than that I expect my wife to take care of the situation on her own. 
Since my wife's is very strict when it comes to dudes trying to hit on her and since I trust her, I normally don't bother to interfere. That I recall, only once I have to get on a dude's face.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

bobert said:


> To me, that woman is enjoying being hit on. She's smiling and leaning in, not sending him away or trying to ignore him. The boyfriend/husband seems to be just sitting there smiling/laughing, so it doesn't look like he cared either (or he's too much of a *** to do anything about it).
> 
> That certainly isn't the reaction my wife or I would have in that situation.


He doesn't have a clue. 
He just sees an old man.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, he just sees an old man. He doesn’t realize that many old men are forever 19 — with plenty of game — in their mind.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Luckylucky said:


> Responsibility is usually on the one being hit on. She seems fairly happy, her body language says a lot. She’s leaning in.
> 
> I’d simply say something filthy, and stamp my chair around. And I’m mostly a lady and don’t cuss a lot. If I made it clear right from the beginning that I wasn’t interested and they persisted, that’s when my husband would step in and finish off. But we haven’t had that happen, I’m mean enough to not let it go very far.
> 
> ...


They are still out there and the young couple is conversing with an older couple I didn't include in the picture.

My take is she wasn't going to go with the old dude but he is still lurking, hoping for some action.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> What say you? How would you handle this situation and just how prevalent is the situation where old men are hitting on young women, especially right in front of her man???


I don't get hit on  so no problem!

I'm not good with people I don't know being overly familiar with me. And so I wouldn't be holding his hand. If there was conversation of substance unfolding, or at least enjoyable, then Batman would be looped in anyway. Okay, if I think more on this too, Batman's body language would be sitting closer to me, typically some touch between us. Not my back towards him and leaning into conversation with a man I don't know. That's just not how we roll. Plus Batman would make his presence known.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

What sort of conversation was occurring - without giving too much as I do feel funky about their privacy. It wasn't her uncle or someone?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> What sort of conversation was occurring - without giving too much as I do feel funky about their privacy. It wasn't her uncle or someone?


I wasn't trying to hear their conversation. It might seem odd but I would feel like I was violating their privacy more than observing them.

He definitely wasn't her uncle. She eventually disentangled herself and started a conversation with someone else.

He is still out there by the fire pit having struck out.

It just seems bizarre to me that a man old enough to be her father (or even older) was making a serious pass at her and in front of her man no less.😳


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> I wasn't trying to hear their conversation. It might seem odd but I would feel like I was violating their privacy more than observing them.
> 
> He definitely wasn't her uncle. She eventually disentangled herself and started a conversation with someone else.
> 
> ...


Boldness.

He's completely amoral and was hoping to get a contact or a later contact.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Looking again at the second photo, if a random was leaning close to me like that, I'd be thinking 'get the fk outta my face.'
I wouldn't say that or be aggressive. But as I'd likely be thinking that, my actions personally wouldn't be to sit and engage.
And if scenario was switched between us, with a woman speaking with Batman, I think it would be similar as I mentioned before.

Still, whadda I know?!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> I wasn't trying to hear their conversation. It might seem odd but I would feel like I was violating their privacy more than observing them.
> 
> He definitely wasn't her uncle. She eventually disentangled herself and started a conversation with someone else.
> 
> ...


What indications were there that the younger man was in a romantic relationship with her, aside from sitting next to one another?

 ...details, details ...Batman's fave game! haha.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I see morons and clowns like this all the time...The difference is women around here don't put up with that garbage, let me guess, this was somewhere south of the Mason Dixon line...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> Looking again at the second photo, if a random was leaning close to me like that, I'd be thinking 'get the fk outta my face.'
> I wouldn't say that or be aggressive. But as I'd likely be thinking that, my actions personally wouldn't be to sit and engage.
> And if scenario was switched between us, with a woman speaking with Batman, I think it would be similar as I mentioned before.
> 
> Still, whadda I know?!


I was appalled. The disrespect being shown to her man was palpable and she was just as responsible for it!

Mrs. C wouldn't have allowed the handholding or the leaning and, to be blunt, a man would have to be an idiot to put the moves on my woman in my presence. 

I believe he probably wasn't concerned like @jonty30 mentioned but I don't understand tolerating that level of disrespect.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> I was appalled. The disrespect being shown to her man was palpable and she was just as responsible for it!
> 
> Mrs. C wouldn't have allowed the handholding or the leaning and, to be blunt, a man would have to be an idiot to put the moves on my woman in my presence.
> 
> I believe he probably wasn't concerned like @jonty30 mentioned but I don't understand tolerating that level of disrespect.


Disrespect from his partner? Or disrespect from the old guy?


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> I was appalled. The disrespect being shown to her man was palpable and she was just as responsible for it!
> 
> Mrs. C wouldn't have allowed the handholding or the leaning and, to be blunt, a man would have to be an idiot to put the moves on my woman in my presence.
> 
> ...





Luckylucky said:


> Disrespect from his partner? Or disrespect from the old guy?


His partner. 
This is to be expected from amoral guys, but not from the SO.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> What indications were there that the younger man was in a romantic relationship with her, aside from sitting next to one another?
> 
> ...details, details ...Batman's fave game! haha.


They were absolutely together. They arrived together and left together and went into the elevator together after the visiting was done. Their body language didn't lie.

The young man seemed far more concerned with me even though I showed no interest and was sitting far away.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Luckylucky said:


> Disrespect from his partner? Or disrespect from the old guy?


Both.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> I was appalled. The disrespect being shown to her man was palpable and she was just as responsible for it!
> 
> Mrs. C wouldn't have allowed the handholding or the leaning and, to be blunt, a man would have to be an idiot to put the moves on my woman in my presence.
> 
> I believe he probably wasn't concerned like @jonty30 mentioned but I don't understand tolerating that level of disrespect.


It's likely that he wasn't taught about relationships. A lot of young guys have been taught to be go-alongs with the moment and don't know how to protect relationships.
I've only been on this site for a little more than a week and I've learned a few things.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

So @Emerging Buddhist and I have been to a place sort of like this--a pizza place with outdoor fireplaces. Due to crazy COVID rules, people couldn't sit "inside" without a mask, but they could sit outdoors...and the "table" we were at was long and had room for far more than two. We sat on one end of the long table, and there were other people on the other end of the long table. To my mind, the appropriate thing to do would be to "be there" at the pizza place with the person you came with, not some rando who's seated at your table. 

Anyway, here's how I'd handle it: we sit down on our end. Some old guy sits near us and says something to try to join the conversation. "Hi, hello. Nice town here. We're here to do XYZ. This is my husband, EB. It was nice meeting you..." then turn my back to the old guy, face EB, and put my hands on him...maybe even lean in to give him a little hug or kiss. If old guy doesn't take the hint and keeps hanging in, I'd move to sit on the other side of EB (so he's between me and the old guy) so EB can keep an eye on him. If THAT doesn't work, I suspect we'd just leave. I'm not saying EB wouldn't "mate guard" but I do think he'd leave it to me first and if they guy kept pushing, he'd just put himself "in the way." After that, I do think we'd either just leave or maybe say "We do not care to have a conversation right not. Please leave us alone."


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Affaircare said:


> So @Emerging Buddhist and I have been to a place sort of like this--a pizza place with outdoor fireplaces. Due to crazy COVID rules, people couldn't sit "inside" without a mask, but they could sit outdoors...and the "table" we were at was long and had room for far more than two. We sat on one end of the long table, and there were other people on the other end of the long table. To my mind, the appropriate thing to do would be to "be there" at the pizza place with the person you came with, not some rando who's seated at your table.
> 
> Anyway, here's how I'd handle it: we sit down on our end. Some old guy sits near us and says something to try to join the conversation. "Hi, hello. Nice town here. We're here to do XYZ. This is my husband, EB. It was nice meeting you..." then turn my back to the old guy, face EB, and put my hands on him...maybe even lean in to give him a little hug or kiss. If old guy doesn't take the hint and keeps hanging in, I'd move to sit on the other side of EB (so he's between me and the old guy) so EB can keep an eye on him. If THAT doesn't work, I suspect we'd just leave. I'm not saying EB wouldn't "mate guard" but I do think he'd leave it to me first and if they guy kept pushing, he'd just put himself "in the way." After that, I do think we'd either just leave or maybe say "We do not care to have a conversation right not. Please leave us alone."


Dang straight!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> They were absolutely together. They arrived together and left together and went into the elevator together after the visiting was done. Their body language didn't lie.
> 
> The young man seemed far more concerned with me even though I showed no interest and was sitting far away.


I do feel funky about their photos up this way. If they were people I knew (they're not), I'd be able to recognize from these. Just sayin.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

If we're at a bar together, we hang together. Not with randoms. Again, just how we roll.

Except for bar tenders and servers, such as where Batman got speaking about certain type of beverage with the bar tender and he then shared about entering a competition with this drink he'd concocted and then made it for us and we discussed the ingredients and such with him, and that turned briefly into a discussion about music as it was connected with the name of the drink. Other than moments like that, we don't encourage or look for conversing with others that way if we're out in that kind of scenario together.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I very much identify the guy with my exH. He felt that I was capable of taking care of any issues myself so no need for him to get involved. The truth is that he was a very non-confrontational guy and more than happy for me to deal with it. It was just one more thing that over time eroded my respect for him. I want to tap the guy in the picture and say “wake up”.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

And … I don’t talk to strange men when I’m with someone so no way I’d ever be her.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Openminded said:


> And … I don’t talk to strange men when I’m with someone so no way I’d ever be her.


Yet who's to say whether she was genuinely enjoying the interaction, and may well have been, or just too polite / nice to behave differently.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> I do feel funky about their photos up this way. If they were people I knew (they're not), I'd be able to recognize from these. Just sayin.


If anyone gives reasonable objections, I will delete the pictures immediately. I have found many don't understand what I observe without evidence.

I'm contemplating incorporating videos that hide identities to show the fairly constant flirting and passes made my way.

I know some posters on TAM know what I'm talking about but others might find it incredible to have young women cashiers volunteering to check your pants for you.😉


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> Yet who's to say whether she was genuinely enjoying the interaction, and may well have been, or just too polite / nice to behave differently.


I think this likely though unhealthy on both their parts.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> Yet who's to say whether she was genuinely enjoying the interaction, and may well have been, or just too polite / nice to behave differently.


Yes, that’s the unknown factor.

She may have seen him as just a nice old man who wanted to hold her hand for a moment but I’m guessing he saw her in a very different light. Depending on how much alcohol was involved for everyone.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

A few years ago we were dining with family members and their friends (another couple, older). Before meeting them, family members gave us a heads-up about the husband's personality '...he's harmless though..it's just his way..' Batman responded, 'It's not great if you need to assign a warning label to your friend.' Anyway, ole Bats doesn't really drink much ordinarily and this night he completely refrained. I knew it was related to the heads-up. The husband wasn't hitting on me, no close body language or that kind of jazz, and was there with his wife; yet there was a lot of sexual innuendo coming my way from the husband. I was dodging it the best I knew how, kinda telling him to cut it out in a measured way, trying to balance consideration to family members knowing they're friends.

It didn't take long before Batman was very direct in telling him to cut it out. The man tried to joke/laugh it off. Batman told him it wasn't funny. We could all feel the tension. And not long after, the night was wrapped up as a result. Family member tried to reassure Batman afterwards that their friend didn't mean anything by it and '..You just need to get to know him..' Batman didn't accept that and responded along the lines of 'I don't need to get to know him at all. He can get to know me/us and what we're about.' He was annoyed that family felt that was acceptable. We did end up seeing them once more, and the husband displayed best manners, and without shenanigans or innuendos.

Now that I'm older and uglier and hopefully a bit wiser, I wouldn't feel the need to weigh my response with consideration to family members if in that scenario again.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Openminded said:


> Yes, that’s the unknown factor.
> 
> She may have seen him as just a nice old man who wanted to hold her hand for a moment but I’m guessing he saw her in a very different light. Depending on how much alcohol was involved for everyone.


Lots of alcohol was in play.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> A few years ago we were dining with family members and their friends (another couple, older). Before meeting them, family members gave us a heads-up about the husband's personality '...he's harmless though..it's just his way..' Batman responded, 'It's not great if you need to assign a warning label to your friend.' Anyway, ole Bats doesn't really drink much ordinarily and this night he completely refrained. I knew it was related to the heads-up. The husband wasn't hitting on me, no close body language or that kind of jazz, and was there with his wife; yet there was a lot of sexual innuendo coming my way from the husband. I was dodging it the best I knew how, kinda telling him to cut it out in a measured way, trying to balance consideration to family members knowing they're friends.
> 
> It didn't take long before Batman was very direct in telling him to cut it out. The man tried to joke/laugh it off. Batman told him it wasn't funny. We could all feel the tension. And not long after, the night was wrapped up as a result. Family member tried to reassure Batman after their friend didn't mean anything by it and 'you just got to get to know him..' His response was along the lines of 'I don't need to get to know him at all. He can get to know me / us and what we're about.' He was annoyed that family felt that was acceptable. We did end up seeing them once more, and the husband didn't display any shenanigans or innuendos.
> 
> Now that I'm older and uglier and hopefully a bit wiser, I wouldn't feel the need to weigh my response with consideration to family members if in the scenario again.


Great post.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> Great post.


Admittedly it was a crap night, full of tension, and I also felt disappointed with family members and which I only recognized afterwards through Batman's response.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> Admittedly it was a crap night, full of tension, and I also felt disappointed with family members and which I only recognized afterwards through Batman's response.


It is unfortunate when a family helps a person of poor character by enabling them.

I'm solidly in Batman's corner in that situation.

It's kinda funny when a lothario realizes the game he is playing might cost him 😈


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> I'm solidly in Batman's corner in that situation.


That makes two of us!


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Lots of alcohol was in play.


Unfortunately, it often is the complicating factor. Makes me glad I’m not a drinker.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> If anyone gives reasonable objections, I will delete the pictures immediately. I have found many don't understand what I observe without evidence.
> 
> I'm contemplating incorporating videos that hide identities to show the fairly constant flirting and passes made my way.
> 
> I know some posters on TAM know what I'm talking about but others might find it incredible to have young women cashiers volunteering to check your pants for you.😉


Unfortunately I know exactly how forward and inexhaustible a female can be in trying to hook up with a man she likes. I’ve seen some of them in action, and well… here I am no longer married…ish. So I believe you.

I do have to say, I’ve never heard the term mate guarding. I’m sure I get the gist… but can you explain this better?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> Unfortunately I know exactly how forward and inexhaustible a female can be in trying to hook up with a man she likes. I’ve seen some of them in action, and well… here I am no longer married…ish. So I believe you.
> 
> I do have to say, I’ve never heard the term mate guarding. I’m sure I get the gist… but can you explain this better?


I'll respond tomorrow. I'm two old fashions and a couple of beers down and it's midnight in South Dakota.

Goodnight.😊


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> I'll respond tomorrow. I'm two old fashions and a couple of beers down and it's midnight in South Dakota.
> 
> Goodnight.😊


I’ve had a very eye opening (and depressing) education from Wikipedia. Probably would have sounded better from drunk Conan.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> I have been inspired by @Andy1001 and @heartsbeating to pay closer attention to interactions between men and women and since I travel, I am able to observe many situations.
> 
> Since I started paying more attention, I have been surprised at how accurate @Andy1001 was in regards to traveling women wanting brief hookups and thanks to the thread @heartsbeating started, I started paying attention to older men hitting on much younger women. There are a number of women who have remarked about ridiculous attention from much older men that got me focused.
> 
> ...


This does not look like a couple - maybe friends at best. She is definitely looking for the attention and maybe the younger dude is her wingman or something, He really does not appear to care so I cannot take this as a need for mate guarding. What made you so sure that she was his girlfriend or wife?


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Conan, I would have done the same thing you said in the first post, but this situation has never happened to me before. If I'm sitting this close to my wife, then I don't see any reason why another man would come up and start talking with her. This looks so odd to me. 

On second thought, I'm not sure I would put myself jn a chair in between them. I'd probably stand up, look at the guy and say what are you doing. Leave. 

But honestly, I would be far more upset with my wife if she would disrespect me in this way and accept flirting and touching from another man.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Could have got up, walked around, and sat down in different seats. You know, force the old man to try talking past the guy lol


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## headbang (Oct 23, 2021)

Yeah... no. Not a tough guy by any means but when I was younger I would almost instantly say something the moment a guy put the moves on the woman I was with. A couple of times the moves were put only in my mind. Sometimes it came to blows. Cost me a couple of relationships.

Fast forward a decade and a half and I do not do that anymore. I will protect my partner but I won't "guard" my mate. It's her responsibility not to encourage any kind of improper behavior from another man. If a guy starts putting the moves, it's my partner's responsibility to shut that **** down . If she shuts it down but the guy doesn't care then I will do everything I can and can't do to protect her. But if she not only accepts it but leans over and continues engaging, I will walk away. Ended a few past "relationships" (only one of them was longer than 2, 3 months) due to this and never regretted it.


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

manfromlamancha said:


> This does not look like a couple - maybe friends at best. She is definitely looking for the attention and maybe the younger dude is her wingman or something, He really does not appear to care so I cannot take this as a need for mate guarding. What made you so sure that she was his girlfriend or wife?


I thought the same thing. The younger guy doesn't seem to care and the woman seems to like the attention.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Cindywife said:


> I thought the same thing. The younger guy doesn't seem to care and the woman seems to like the attention.


She also looks older, but women do like attention.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Guy starts talking to my wife and leaning in like that and I would tell him to piss off in that language. If he did not piss off I would remove my wife from the situation. Guy tries to stop that and it’s go time.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> They were absolutely together. They arrived together and left together and went into the elevator together after the visiting was done. Their body language didn't lie.
> 
> The young man seemed far more concerned with me even though I showed no interest and was sitting far away.


This goes to show how one has to be careful when assessing where the threat is coming from.

How many times have we heard here where the cheater cheats down?

He was more concerned with you because you're more of an alpha type, but you can't underestimate how successful a persistent beta with good ego stroking skills can be, and they'll slink right under the radar.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I just bring my other half right into the conversation and put my hand on his arm.

That takes care of things.

Presenting us as a couple is like a shield.

And he's pretty big so there's that.....


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

jonty30 said:


> She also looks older, but women do like attention.


They were young to this old man.😉

Probably late twenties to early thirties.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> They were young to this old man.😉
> 
> Probably late twenties to early thirties.


He looks like he's in his twenties, but she looks like to me that she's in her thirties.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

If I was the woman's guy I would sit back and enjoy the show. What chance does the old guy think he has? Hell let him have a bit of attention. Now if he got crude or aggressive you bet I would put a stop to it. Also if it was a younger guy I would step in, you know, someone young enough to still get an erection.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Bear in mind, a lot of the "chivalrous" behavior in males, such as staking a claim on his woman, and this so called "guarding" is long gone stuff...I don't see younger people engaging in that type of stuff anymore...

For example, most of the guys in my age group do the driving when out with their women...and women kind of expect them to...That's absolutely not honored any more...In fact, I see more younger women driving men around than I ever have in my life...


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## Harold Demure (Oct 21, 2020)

I suppose I am old fashioned, obviously controlling, paranoid, untrusting and any other labels people want to put on me but I do not put up with anyone hitting on my wife in any way, shape or form. If I think that someone’s behaviour is inappropriate then I tell them as forcibly as needs and they get one chance. Next approach is far less pleasant. Hitting on a spouse (male or female) is disrespectful to the other spouse and is a form of hip slapping.

I would say however, that this isn’t about me or my wife talking to members of the opposite sex, far from it. It is about crossing a line. My wife can, and does look after herself but sometimes you just need to put your foot down.

Couple of other points:

If I see a woman obviously not enjoying unwanted attention then I will interject if needs be. I have seen this at conferences and hotels and I do not like seeing ridiculous old Gammons making fools of themselves whilst causing obvious discomfort to women who do not deserve that kind of behaviour.

It is not just men who behave inappropriately, women can be equally as predatory. I am no looker by any means but have been hit on at work conferences or in hotels. I don’t like it and do think, well if you are hitting on me, then you must be desperate. My wife will hip slap women back who she considers to have crossed a line and I feel quite flattered by that.

Probably opening myself up to all kinds of righteous indignation on here but I am afraid I am an unapologetic Alpha Male or, as an alternative, an old fashioned Gentleman.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Let's settle the issue of wether they were a couple.

You could trust that I have a good read on people I see in real life, you really could, but here is the evidence.

They never separated having arrived together and stayed primarily within the sphere of an older couple they were also visiting with. The young man often talking with the older woman and the young woman often talking with the older man.

When the old lothario wasn't able to get very far with the youngster, he separated from the two couples but hung around while she stayed close to her man.

The bar tender saw the whole thing and I talked with her about it. She saw the same thing I did.

The two couples ended the night and got up to settle their tab with each lady and man showing endearment to their mates by familiar touches, arms around wastes, leaning into each other, pressing into each other.

The older couple left out the front and the younger couple went to the elevator together. She had her arm inside his jacket, that was then open, so her arm was apparently around his waste. His left arm rested just above her left hip as they were waiting for the elevator.


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> Let's settle the issue of wether they were a couple.
> 
> You could trust that I have a good read on people I see in real life, you really could, but here is the evidence.
> 
> ...


Then maybe the younger guy was "woke" and was more concerned about _canceling_ something than his date.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> Unfortunately I know exactly how forward and inexhaustible a female can be in trying to hook up with a man she likes. I’ve seen some of them in action, and well… here I am no longer married…ish. So I believe you.
> 
> I do have to say, I’ve never heard the term mate guarding. I’m sure I get the gist… but can you explain this better?


Mate guarding can range from just making your presence known as a mate to actively running interference for your mate.

Mrs. C and I are a team and well practiced with each other.

There have been a couple times when my Mrs. simply clued me in that a woman was interested in me when I didn't have any idea.

In our case, and I would hope most healthy mate guarders, we don't try and babysit each other and we each know how to handle most situations.

We mostly help each other if things get a little awkward and a graceful exit from unwanted attention is needed.

Mrs. C wouldn't have let a man hold her hand or lean in or let a man lean in especially the ridiculous angle that guy was at! LoL!

If she found herself in a situation like that and the guy was instigating it, I would have slid into my wife and "marked" my territory by putting my arm around her and there by forcing the guy to let go and lean away or be touching me instead.😁


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Her chair is turned so that her back is to the younger man. Rude. The younger man obviously thought he didn't have anything to worry about. The woman may have thought she was humoring the old guy because he was apparently lonely. But, if she didn't want to have little intimate chats then she should not have gotten comfy. The woman needs to create some boundaries. The boyfriend needs to get a clue.

The younger guy may have realized you were taking pics and was sussing you out.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> Her chair is turned so that her back is to the younger man. Rude. The younger man obviously thought he didn't have anything to worry about. The woman may have thought she was humoring the old guy because he was apparently lonely. But, if she didn't want to have little intimate chats then she should not have gotten comfy. The woman needs to create some boundaries. The boyfriend needs to get a clue.
> 
> The younger guy may have realized you were taking pics and was sussing you out.


He had his eyes on me the whole time and I'm pretty sure he suspected one picture though I had my phone almost in my lap one handed while my right lifted my drink.

Aside from his suspicion of me and possibly the pictures I took, the scene had been playing out exactly as it looked in those pictures for several minutes.

I had been there for a while, reading my phone and sipping my drink before deciding to get a shot of what was happening.

I believe he wasn't worried about the lothario scoring but it was crudely obvious. I was surprised the old goat was being so blatant, with a young woman and in front of her man.

It brought to mind several complaints I have heard here about old men hitting on young women.


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## Cindywife (Nov 5, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> The younger guy may have realized you were taking pics and was sussing you out.


He was probably freaked out. I would be.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> He had his eyes on me the whole time and I'm pretty sure he suspected one picture though I had my phone almost in my lap one handed while my right lifted my drink.
> 
> Aside from his suspicion of me and possibly the pictures I took, the scene had been playing out exactly as it looked in those pictures for several minutes.
> 
> ...


Maybe they were searching for a third for a threesome?

Ew.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It looks like the old man wasn't worried about junior. Junior probably would have felt ridiculous getting his knickers in a twist over an old goat - didn't want the oldster to think he still had it. Junior has his pride.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> It looks like the old man wasn't worried about junior. Junior probably would have felt ridiculous getting his knickers in a twist over an old goat - didn't want the oldster to think he still had it. Junior has his pride.


LoL! I wouldn't tolerate the disrespect from the old guy or my woman. No one gets to invade my territory without getting by me.

I'm playful though. I would have seen if he was interested in holding my hand and looking deeply into my eyes.😉


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I wouldn’t be bothered “mate guarding” anyone. If someone I was dating acted like her, I’d consider it a blessing to find out and drop her attention seeking ass in a heartbeat. Next.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

What does everyone think about the old guy?

Does this happen a lot?

He must have some success to be behaving so boldly?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

RebuildingMe said:


> I wouldn’t be bothered “mate guarding” anyone. If someone I was dating acted like her, I’d consider it a blessing to find out and drop her attention seeking ass in a heartbeat. Next.


She'd be walking home, too. I'm thinking they were in a hotel.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

I think you know how I would have handled that situation. 🤨


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> I think you know how I would have handled that situation. 🤨


Do tell.😁


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Do tell.😁


Usually all I have to do is stand up. LMAO


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

I have not read all 4 pages of responses so I am going off of the opening post and the pictures. 

My wife was a working teen model and pageant contestant at the state level in her youth and still is within +/- a few pounds of when she was 18. My point is she is and always has been a very attractive woman. 

How do I mate guard? - I don't take her to clubs and bars. 

I myself have never been a club/bar person and that is just not part of my nomenclature and I basically have never taken dates or GFs or people I am interested in to the club/bar environment. (exception being during our swinging years and going to swinger clubs and parties. There you expect to approached and approach yourself, but that is couple/couple approaching)

And the times that we have been to restaurants or hotel lounge or something, I can't think of a single time in over 25 years that she was approached by man. 

She is a beautiful woman but she is not very social and does not give off any kind of "approach me" vibes. In looking back, I have had GFs that were less attractive but were approached more while we were out and about. They probably simply appeared more inviting and welcoming to attention. 

And as far as my own demeanor, If I'm out on a date or in a relationship, I am simply not welcoming to unsolicited intrusion on our time together. I'll let a guy use his line and take his shot, but then a moment later I will take the conversation back over and give him the brush off. I've never had to do anything beyond that and have never had to escalate and actually ask someone to move along, but I would have no trouble doing so should the situation arise.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Additionally in looking at your pictures and observing body language in that one snapshot of time, I would say that she was very receptive and engaging to the OM's attentions and her date, was perfectly willing to just sit there and have their fun. 

The question I would ask is how engaged were the couple with each other before the OM approached? 

Was the date just sitting there watching the game and not engaging her at all. 

in your opening post you seem to assuming the OM came in out of the blue. Could the chick have been giving the OM the wink and the nod and some kind of invite to make a move. 

Maybe she was gaming the date to pay her some attention by inviting some other dude to give her some attention to get the date to step up.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Usually all I have to do is stand up. LMAO


Simple and effective.😁


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Usually all I have to do is stand up. LMAO


There’s a bit of measuring if someone even attempts something like this, either that or they’re drunk out of their mind.

Many years ago I was drinking a bottle of champagne having dinner with my wife at a restaurant and a drunk guy walking out is like “that looks good how about I try that”. I said “Why don’t you go ahead and try and and see what happens”. He left quickly.

This weeds out 95% of people who don’t want any part of that kind of thing, the other 5% well… fun times! I have never seen the 5% kind in a reasonable place, but at dive bars or pool halls yeah.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> Additionally in looking at your pictures and observing body language in that one snapshot of time, I would say that she was very receptive and engaging to the OM's attentions and her date, was perfectly willing to just sit there and have their fun.
> 
> The question I would ask is how engaged were the couple with each other before the OM approached?
> 
> ...


Good points. I don't know what she was doing before it got weird because I was avoiding eye contact with them.

I saw them head out to the fire pit and I went out about 15 minutes later.

They both looked at me as I walked out and I made sure to seat myself at the opposite corner.

The lothario had been sitting where I took the picture but hadn't really engaged yet.

They grabbed my attention when he got really close to her face and I saw him holding on (kind of strangely) to her hand.

Afterward, she blew him off.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> If anyone gives reasonable objections, I will delete the pictures immediately. I have found many don't understand what I observe without evidence.


Okay, I'm raising my reasonable objection. While her face is a bit blurred and we can't see the face of the older man, the younger guy is identifiable and anyone familiar with them would know it. I'm thinking it's poor form that we're making judgements on these people without knowing squat about them or really the context of their interaction, aside from what you have shared, and commenting about it on a public forum nonetheless. Having thought more about it, I'm not down with that aspect.

Conan I do enjoy reading the varied responses and topic of how people/couples navigate such interactions. I just think the topic can still work without sharing the photographs.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

heartsbeating said:


> Okay, I'm raising my reasonable objection. While her face is a bit blurred and we can't see the face of the older man, the younger guy is identifiable and anyone familiar with them would know it. I'm thinking it's poor form that we're making judgements on these people without knowing squat about them or really the context of their interaction, aside from what you have shared, and commenting about it on a public forum nonetheless. Having thought more about it, I'm not down with that aspect.
> 
> Conan I do enjoy reading the varied responses and topic of how people/couples navigate such interactions. I just think the topic can still work without sharing the photographs.


I'm surprised mods haven't removed the pictures yet. I was expecting them to be gone last night. The second picture makes it very easy to identify the couple.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Harold Demure said:


> I don’t like it and do think, well if you are hitting on me, then you must be desperate.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> Okay, I'm raising my reasonable objection. While her face is a bit blurred and we can't see the face of the older man, the younger guy is identifiable and anyone familiar with them would know it. I'm thinking it's poor form that we're making judgements on these people without knowing squat about them or really the context of their interaction, aside from what you have shared, and commenting about it on a public forum nonetheless. Having thought more about it, I'm not down with that aspect.
> 
> Conan I do enjoy reading the varied responses and topic of how people/couples navigate such interactions. I just think the topic can still work without sharing the photographs.


Done and I am not wanting to be over critical of this particular couple.

I'm just very curious about these situations and how they are dealt with and how often these older guys are putting moves on young women.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> I'm just very curious about these situations and how they are dealt with and how often these older guys are putting moves on young women.


I think quite often. Probably much less frequently with the guy sitting right there.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> Done and I am not wanting to be over critical of this particular couple.
> 
> I'm just very curious about these situations and how they are dealt with and how often these older guys are putting moves on young women.


Cheers @ConanHub 

Now if we can inspire @manfromlamancha to edit them from when he quoted you, we'll be golden. 

And I did interpret that you were interested about the situations.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

heartsbeating said:


> Cheers @ConanHub
> 
> Now if we can inspire @manfromlamancha to edit them from when he quoted you, we'll be golden.
> 
> And I did interpret that you were interested about the situations.


I didn't notice that. I asked that no one would do that. I promise to be far more careful in the future.

I might post pictures in the future but I will edit and obscure them for anonymity.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

manfromlamancha said:


> This does not look like a couple - maybe friends at best. She is definitely looking for the attention and maybe the younger dude is her wingman or something, He really does not appear to care so I cannot take this as a need for mate guarding. What made you so sure that she was his girlfriend or wife?


Please delete your quote?😊


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## Harold Demure (Oct 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Done and I am not wanting to be over critical of this particular couple.
> 
> I'm just very curious about these situations and how they are dealt with and how often these older guys are putting moves on young women.


Worringly, I think it is far more often than we would like to believe. I spoke from my own experience of seeing women hit on by older men and my wife had plenty of stories from when she went on conferences and/or training courses.

The funny thing was that I used to have to travel for work during the early and middle parts of our working life . I used to b*tch and moan about it, saying that I really didn’t like this whole hotel bar, forced and false gaiety. I used to hate it. I liked colleagues but only up to the time I walked out of the office at the end of the day. Those colleagues I really liked were friends in the normal meaning of the word. 

I never got how excited people would get to be away from their husbands/wives/families. I love going out to new places, going out to hotels, restaurants etc but I like to do that with my wife, not colleagues.

My wife used to not believe my protestations until roles were reversed towards the end of our working lives and, guess what, she hated it. Tried to get out of going as much as possible, b*tched and moaned, and said all the things I had said.

My wife complained about being hit on by older men and also thought it was pretty disgusting watching them hit on younger girls.

Maybe it is time to start calling these people out for what they are, perverts and sexual predators. Maybe, people should stop “tolerating it” and start reporting it.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Harold Demure said:


> Worringly, I think it is far more often than we would like to believe. I spoke from my own experience of seeing women hit on by older men and my wife had plenty of stories from when she went on conferences and/or training courses.
> 
> The funny thing was that I used to have to travel for work during the early and middle parts of our working life . I used to b*tch and moan about it, saying that I really didn’t like this whole hotel bar, forced and false gaiety. I used to hate it. I liked colleagues but only up to the time I walked out of the office at the end of the day. Those colleagues I really liked were friends in the normal meaning of the word.
> 
> ...


Well, I have an issue with this.

Is the older man being labelled by you a "pervert and sexual predator" just because he's older? If he were hot and 30 years old would you still be labelling him a pervert and predator? 🤔 if not, that's not cool.

No one should be hitting on "girls" but if the women are over 21 just because he's older and she thinks he's gross that doesn't automatically make him a predator.

ETA I have noticed attractive women often label men they don’t find attractive as perverts, but the same actions by a man they think is hot are drooled over.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Livvie said:


> Well, I have an issue with this.
> 
> Is the older man being labelled by you a "pervert and sexual predator" just because he's older? If he were hot and 30 years old would you still be labelling him a pervert and predator? 🤔 if not, that's not cool.
> 
> ...


Nothing illegal was happening in the situation last night but he may be referring to aggressive and unwanted invasion of personal space and touching.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Nothing illegal was happening in the situation last night but he may be referring to aggressive and unwanted invasion of personal space and touching.


Yeah but he made it sound like it was bad only because the men were older. If the dudes were steamy hot would the advances be labelled the same? Or would it be thought of as--a hot dude was into me but I'm in a relationship so I resisted the advance.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Usually all I have to do is stand up. LMAO


Ha ha....you big guys have that advice.

We were stopped at a gas station once during a bike ride and my 6'3 broad shouldered bf had gone to the bathroom. This creep walks by and eyeballs me...he had an "it puts the lotion on its skin" type creep vibe. 

By the time he came out of the store bf had come back. He eyeballed me again, looked my bf up and down, turned his head and kept walking.

My bf is a pretty chill guy so doesn't give off an "I want to fight" aura. He's just big.

He will punch someone in the face if he has to though.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> Ha ha....you big guys have that advice.
> 
> We were stopped at a gas station once during a bike ride and my 6'3 broad shouldered bf had gone to the bathroom. This creep walks by and eyeballs me...he had an "it puts the lotion on its skin" type creep vibe.
> 
> ...


Yeah. Running into a "wall" is a great discouragement to would be lotharios.😉


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> My bf is a pretty chill guy so doesn't give off an "I want to fight" aura. He's just big.
> 
> He will punch someone in the face if he has to though.


I am a big guy and I also must not give off “I want to fight” aura based on the number of people who have tired to test me out.

I have also maybe encouraged my mom to fight (I was drunk). My mom got into a shoving match at Disneyland hahaha.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Livvie said:


> Well, I have an issue with this.
> 
> Is the older man being labelled by you a "pervert and sexual predator" just because he's older? If he were hot and 30 years old would you still be labelling him a pervert and predator? 🤔 if not, that's not cool.
> 
> ...


I would term any guy old enough to be your daddy a predator. And a creep. They have life experiences the younger woman does not. Plus, a whole lot more baggage. There is a reason other than the mere physical that they are hitting on women young enough to be their daughters.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Yeah. Running into a "wall" is a great discouragement to would be lotharios.😉


Or having that "wall" fall on you 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> I would term any guy old enough to be your daddy a predator. And a creep. They have life experiences the younger woman does not. Plus, a whole lot more baggage. There is a reason other than the mere physical that they are hitting on women young enough to be their daughters.


So at what age does the label go away? If I'm 40 and he's 60, he's old enough to be my father. In that case is he still a predator?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Livvie said:


> So at what age does the label go away? If I'm 40 and he's 60, he's old enough to be my father. In that case is he still a predator?


Is it just age? There are “creepy” people that punch above their weight class in terms of creepyness. Even if there isn’t a large age difference they can still be highly unwanted and creepy.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Yeah. Running into a "wall" is a great discouragement to would be lotharios.😉


I don't think gas station guy was a lothario....I think he was a serial killer.

I can laugh about it now 🤣🤣🤣


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Livvie said:


> So at what age does the label go away? If I'm 40 and he's 60, he's old enough to be my father. In that case is he still a predator?


I'm 47 and ex hb is 66 and yes....he's a predator.

But I admit I'm biased 😅


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## Harold Demure (Oct 21, 2020)

Livvie said:


> Well, I have an issue with this.
> 
> Is the older man being labelled by you a "pervert and sexual predator" just because he's older? If he were hot and 30 years old would you still be labelling him a pervert and predator? 🤔 if not, that's not cool.
> 
> ...


Having re-read my post, I can see how that may come across. However, I was not labelling the man in the picture a pervert just because of his age. My comments referred to mine and my wife’s experience where there are older, married men attempting to use their position to influence younger girls, who think it is alright to paw women, to drape their arms around women who are obviously uncomfortable with it and so on. Many of us have seen and it used to be a regular part of office life in days gone by. Unfortunately, there are still people in the workplace who carry that form of behaviour with them and it is sleazy. I do take your point that it is not exclusive to older men but, where we both worked, it was prevalently older men.
You are quite right that age is not always a factor, it is actions and there is a line where one person’s flattery/complement is another person’s sexual harassment. The point is though, that predatory behaviour needs to be called out 

I trust this addresses your issue.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Harold Demure said:


> Having re-read my post, I can see how that may come across. However, I was not labelling the man in the picture a pervert just because of his age. My comments referred to mine and my wife’s experience where there are older, married men attempting to use their position to influence younger girls, who think it is alright to paw women, to drape their arms around women who are obviously uncomfortable with it and so on. Many of us have seen and it used to be a regular part of office life in days gone by. Unfortunately, there are still people in the workplace who carry that form of behaviour with them and it is sleazy. I do take your point that it is not exclusive to older men but, where we both worked, it was prevalently older men.
> You are quite right that age is not always a factor, it is actions and there is a line where one person’s flattery/complement is another person’s sexual harassment. The point is though, that predatory behaviour needs to be called out
> 
> I trust this addresses your issue.


Gotcha.

I was thinking it's mean when (grown up very adult) women label men as creepy, perverted, and predatory _based on age alone_, when the same behavior from someone hot or rich!! would be welcomed. 

I understand what you were saying, now.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Nothing illegal was happening in the situation last night but he may be referring to aggressive and unwanted invasion of personal space and touching.


But the pictures you posted did not appear to be unwanted to me. 

Now at some point she may have decided it was enough, but the body language and facial expressions you posted appears to be quite engaged to me. 

The pointed noted above, was valid, Guys are only considered creepy and perverted if the woman in question finds them unattractive.

If this was George Clooney approaching her, many a woman would be envious and would wonder what that gal had that she didn’t.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Usually all I have to do is stand up. LMAO


I'm just a little mouse flower of a man. I'm not sure why anyone would feel threatened by little old me.😉


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> But the pictures you posted did not appear to be unwanted to me.
> 
> Now at some point she may have decided it was enough, but the body language and facial expressions you posted appears to be quite engaged to me.
> 
> ...


Yeah. She was just as much at fault as the old guy but he was a lot more desperate! LoL!😂


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Is it just age? There are “creepy” people that punch above their weight class in terms of creepyness. Even if there isn’t a large age difference they can still be highly unwanted and creepy.


I think the general rule is if the woman isn't attracted to him, he's creepy regardless of age. Funny how fame seems to dissolve that. Male celebs and rich Greek guys never run out of younger women who don't mind. 🤣


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> What does everyone think about the old guy?
> 
> Does this happen a lot?
> 
> He must have some success to be behaving so boldly?


I think some guys, regardless of age simply play the numbers game.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> I have been inspired by @Andy1001 and @heartsbeating to pay closer attention to interactions between men and women and since I travel, I am able to observe many situations.
> 
> Since I started paying more attention, I have been surprised at how accurate @Andy1001 was in regards to traveling women wanting brief hookups and thanks to the thread @heartsbeating started, I started paying attention to older men hitting on much younger women. There are a number of women who have remarked about ridiculous attention from much older men that got me focused.
> 
> ...


Well, if I was anyplace with security, I'd alert someone. If I was in a reserved seat on a plane or whatever, I'd ask to be moved. A young guy talked to me in a bar in London. I was staying at that hotel where the bar was. He thought I was Italian. I told him I wasn't and didn't do anything to encourage him. I just got uncomfortable and decided to leave rather than it culminating in something unpleasant, but when I excused myself and said goodnight, he just followed me, not walking with me, but maybe 12-15 feet behind me to the lobby, trying to follow me, not knowing I was staying there. There was a concierge station in the lobby, so I just stopped there and asked if they would stop him from following me as I was going to my room and didn't want him to know where it was. That's how I handle things.

As far as the woman letting the guy get that far, some women are intimidated by stunts like that and also may have been raised to respect men and/or elders and may just be like a doe in headlights, and we are always mindful that we aren't as physically strong and try to keep things from getting ugly. Even I was like that when young. Yes, even me. 

I have seen my own father, postdivorce, in his alcoholic and brain degeneration days do embarrassing things like that. We took him on a trip once and just had to ride herd on him, me and my sister. He had no boundaries, had some nonspecific dementia already, and was loaded. Thank goodness he wasn't like that while we were both in the house growing up, at least nowhere near that point, although we knew he had some leanings to the inappropriate, but my mom kept him in check, and his drinking as well. 

Further into his aging, his dementia was complete and at that point, we think he really thought he was about 19. He didn't recognize any of us or have any memory, you know. But that trip, he wasn't that far along to have any excuse except being an alcoholic. 

I haven't had too many old guys hit on me. I think I looked too street smart and even intimidating for them, probably. Predators pick sweet naive looking women as a rule -- unless they're just totally hammered and are just too far gone to even discern.

If I had a boyfriend, it would depend on the bf whether I'd ask them to intervene. I don't want to get anyone in a fight if I can handle it myself. It also would depend on the geezer, whether he was known or unknown in my crowd. If he was known, chances are he would know my bf at least by sight and I could just tell that person I was with him. 

There was one time a guy who I believe drugged me and had been stalking me came into where I worked (across from where I lived) after I'd had a bad incident with him, and a guy I worked with followed him to the parking lot and told him not to let him catch him back in there or something like that. Which I really appreciated. One of the officers who worked at that retail place also offered to walk me home, but I felt he might be a bigger problem than the stalker, because he was a bit wiley himself, so I politely declined. But if any of the officers besides him had offered, I'd have taken them up on it.

I will say that I have been asked many times by men to intervene to stop a woman from hitting on a guy I was either with myself or knew. They don't want to get rough with them or make themselves look like a bad guy, and I swear I have been asked many times to come be proprietary and get them out of it, and I was very good at that. Usually, I would just go up and get close to the guy and tell them where the girl could hear, "We have to leave now or we're going to be late to *__*."

Sometimes I might just interact with them like a girlfriend would to make it obvious, while looking the interloper in the eye, although I did get into it with one woman one time, a verbal exchange. Her defense was she'd known him forever. My defense was she'd interrupted our conversation. 

Once, I was asked to literally dislodge a woman from pulling an old crush of mine out of a bar by force. It was ludicrous. We each had an arm and were quartering him like in Roman days. But since he was on my side, I won, but I let him go, knowing he had had enough of women for the night (he was very good looking and got too much of a good thing sometimes).

Once it was a local band guy who I was seeing in their first Whisky gig in LA, and he had a gay guy latching onto him. He was a new acquaintance. We'd had some flirtation one evening and I'd driven a couple of his band members somewhere in Dallas earlier that month, so just an acquaintance, but he knew I would understand and sent for me to come upstairs and save him, so I did. It didn't hurt that I was dressed as Clint Eastwood with the big The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly hat on that night, because I looked imposing, though I was so jetlagged I hadn't one ounce of fight left in me, so it's good the gay guy gave up easy.

In my early days when I had a crowd of friends, some of whom were kind of like family, if I'd had a serious problem, a few of them would have intervened. One time they intervened when they shouldn't have, giving my date, who I was already starting to get serious about, a talking to trying to scare him off, I guess. I had trouble dragging any info out of either of them, but the one thing I found out one of them told him was that I was used to money (not true -- though I did self-indulge when I had any) and used to rich guys, completely not true. The guy I was dating was separated and getting a divorce, so the friends' antennae was up, and I was very tight with those guys at that time. 

If you're sitting down, like you said, you can just trade seats with her and see if he wants to hold YOUR hand.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> If you're sitting down, like you said, you can just trade seats with her and see if he wants to hold YOUR hand.


Some guy like this I would immediately be like bro you need to be someplace else now. 

If my wife and I are sitting at a bar and some drunk idiot sits next to her I trade places almost immediately and she’s often angry and doesn’t understand why until I explain it later.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Some guy like this I would immediately be like bro you need to be someplace else now.
> 
> If my wife and I are sitting at a bar and some drunk idiot sits next to her I trade places almost immediately and she’s often angry and doesn’t understand why until I explain it later.


Tell her because you're trying to get a three-way going. Hahah


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Al_Bundy said:


> I think the general rule is if the woman isn't attracted to him, he's creepy regardless of age. Funny how fame seems to dissolve that. Male celebs and rich Greek guys never run out of younger women who don't mind. 🤣


I think that's a little broad. If she's not attracted to him, he's unwanted and making a pest of himself. But there are puhlenty of women who don't want ANY old guy. And I am one. When I was in my late 20s, I thought a lot of guys over 30 were too stodgy for me and seemed old.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

oldshirt said:


> But the pictures you posted did not appear to be unwanted to me.
> 
> Now at some point she may have decided it was enough, but the body language and facial expressions you posted appears to be quite engaged to me.
> 
> ...


The point about guys only being creepy if a woman finds then unattractive is taken, but as I think about my own views I'm not sure its quite accurate.

Of course I speak for myself only, but what I find creepy is someone sniffing around one with which the pairing makes no sense.

I'm an extremely fit 47 year old. If a semi out of shape 53 year old hit on me I wouldn't find it creepy even if I found him unattractive, because that pairing could make sense.

If 79 year old grandpa or a 400 pound dude sniffs around then yes, that's creepy. That pairing makes no sense.

A dude sniffing out a woman half his age is creepy because that's a huge emotional power mismatch. A woman half a guy's age doesn't know what she's dealing with and that's a lot of the reason said creep is sniffing around.

Of course some women do apply the unattractive rule to everything. I saw a women go to HR once because a morbidly obese guy told her she looked nice. Wasn't hitting on her....just complimenting her. That's ridiculous.

I have dudes way too old for me in the bike club tell me I look good all the time. It's always appreciated and I take it with the affection with which it's offered. But if one of those 70 year olds hits on me I don't care how good he looks. . it's creepy.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> The point about guys only being creepy if a woman finds then unattractive is taken, but as I think about my own views I'm not sure its quite accurate.
> 
> Of course I speak for myself only, but what I find creepy is someone sniffing around one with which the pairing makes no sense.
> 
> ...


That's why I always leave my walker in the truck! 🤣🤣🤣


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> The point about guys only being creepy if a woman finds then unattractive is taken, but as I think about my own views I'm not sure its quite accurate.
> 
> Of course I speak for myself only, but what I find creepy is someone sniffing around one with which the pairing makes no sense.
> 
> ...


Sure. But to call an unattractive person a predator just because they are unattractive would be wrong. Not that you did.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

I saw the pic earlier. That said, it seemed like the chick enjoyed the attention, even if she wasn't interested in old boy. Kinda hard to judge exactly what was going on without knowing more, but bf seemed the type to roll over.



Al_Bundy said:


> I think the general rule is if the woman isn't attracted to him, he's creepy regardless of age. Funny how fame seems to dissolve that. Male celebs and rich Greek guys never run out of younger women who don't mind. 🤣


Not quite. What makes unwanted attention creepy for me at least is persistence after I've said no.


DownByTheRiver said:


> I think that's a little broad. If she's not attracted to him, he's unwanted and making a pest of himself. But there are puhlenty of women who don't want ANY old guy. And I am one. When I was in my late 20s, I thought a lot of guys over 30 were too stodgy for me and seemed old.


I agree with this. Even if it's a hot guy my age. Some women seem to be more discerning than men, looks alone aren't enough to hook. 

Some of the male posters here come across like they lose their minds over very attractive women, and tolerate a bunch of ********.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

lifeistooshort said:


> I saw a women go to HR once because a morbidly obese guy told her she looked nice. Wasn't hitting on her....just complimenting her. That's ridiculous.


Prior to covid I was voluntold to be on the health & safety committee and most of the sexual harassment complaints came my way...
Some of the complaints I heard were ridiculous. Like, a 21 year old complained that an (unattractive) male wore pants that were too tight and showed his junk or a 19 year old (unattractive) male offered to fill up a 21 year old females water bottle. That is not sexual harassment!


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

bobert said:


> Prior to covid I was voluntold to be on the health & safety committee and most of the sexual harassment complaints came my way...
> Some of the complaints I heard were ridiculous. Like, a 21 year old (unattractive) male wore pants that were too tight and showed his junk or a 19 year old (unattractive) male offered to fill up a 21 year old females water bottle. That is not sexual harassment!


Was he really wearing nuthuggers to work or did he just gain a little weight and stubbornly cling to his pants? Enquiring minds want to know 😆


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Livvie said:


> Sure. But to call an unattractive person a predator just because they are unattractive would be wrong. Not that you did.


I agree.

Now you've got me thinking if Clueless where the response is "as if!".

Made me chuckle.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

heartsbeating said:


> A few years ago we were dining with family members and their friends (another couple, older). Before meeting them, family members gave us a heads-up about the husband's personality '...he's harmless though..it's just his way..' Batman responded, 'It's not great if you need to assign a warning label to your friend.' Anyway, ole Bats doesn't really drink much ordinarily and this night he completely refrained. I knew it was related to the heads-up. The husband wasn't hitting on me, no close body language or that kind of jazz, and was there with his wife; yet there was a lot of sexual innuendo coming my way from the husband. I was dodging it the best I knew how, kinda telling him to cut it out in a measured way, trying to balance consideration to family members knowing they're friends.
> 
> It didn't take long before Batman was very direct in telling him to cut it out. The man tried to joke/laugh it off. Batman told him it wasn't funny. We could all feel the tension. And not long after, the night was wrapped up as a result. Family member tried to reassure Batman afterwards that their friend didn't mean anything by it and '..You just need to get to know him..' Batman didn't accept that and responded along the lines of 'I don't need to get to know him at all. He can get to know me/us and what we're about.' He was annoyed that family felt that was acceptable. We did end up seeing them once more, and the husband displayed best manners, and without shenanigans or innuendos.
> 
> Now that I'm older and uglier and hopefully a bit wiser, I wouldn't feel the need to weigh my response with consideration to family members if in that scenario again.


Yeah, that's the excuse they made for the absolute obnoxious geezer at the office (he just came in once in a blue moon), saying he was harmless. He was gross, talking loudly so the whole office could hear about getting a woman he knew in business into a hot tub and following this one woman in the office around like a cat in heat, even though she kept running from him. I keep my nose down for the most part in a work environment, but this was too much and I warned the boss about him and said one of these days he was going to get him into a lawsuit. I then asked our pretty receptionist about him (not knowing she was the boss's new squeeze yet) and she said 'He's harmless." No. He's a geezer. My boss did let him fade away eventually though. He was just this slobbering idiot and getting some is all he talked about in this otherwise fairly professional office. Ugh.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Conan, I would have done the same thing you said in the first post, but this situation has never happened to me before. If I'm sitting this close to my wife, then I don't see any reason why another man would come up and start talking with her. This looks so odd to me.
> 
> On second thought, I'm not sure I would put myself jn a chair in between them. I'd probably stand up, look at the guy and say what are you doing. Leave.
> 
> But honestly, I would be far more upset with my wife if she would disrespect me in this way and accept flirting and touching from another man.


Yes, but in a situation where her man is right there, she isn't threatened and knows it can't go too far, though I too would expect her to start squawking once he put his hands on her. 

But to your comment why would a man start talking to her -- oh, yes, inappropriate men do all sorts of things, and the more desperate they are and the more drunk they are, the better.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

hamadryad said:


> Bear in mind, a lot of the "chivalrous" behavior in males, such as staking a claim on his woman, and this so called "guarding" is long gone stuff...I don't see younger people engaging in that type of stuff anymore...
> 
> For example, most of the guys in my age group do the driving when out with their women...and women kind of expect them to...That's absolutely not honored any more...In fact, I see more younger women driving men around than I ever have in my life...


I think that may be a difference in locale. Where I grew up, we all drove, though it's true men usually drove on dates, but we were in a place where driving and cruising were literally just about the only social entertainment.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TXTrini said:


> Was he really wearing nuthuggers to work or did he just gain a little weight and stubbornly cling to his pants? Enquiring minds want to know 😆


It's been a while, but he was wearing some sort of athletic spandex pants. Which yeah, is odd. But, guess what all the women he was working with were wearing? Skin tight leggings so... If I remember correctly he was trying to prove a point and didn't think what they wore was appropriate


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> What does everyone think about the old guy?
> 
> Does this happen a lot?
> 
> He must have some success to be behaving so boldly?


Con artists, which is what a lot of old geezers are, somehow make the woman feel like a dirtbag for suspecting or stopping them, make them feel sorry and guilty. That's why they choose more innocuous prey.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Harold Demure said:


> Worringly, I think it is far more often than we would like to believe. I spoke from my own experience of seeing women hit on by older men and my wife had plenty of stories from when she went on conferences and/or training courses.
> 
> The funny thing was that I used to have to travel for work during the early and middle parts of our working life . I used to b*tch and moan about it, saying that I really didn’t like this whole hotel bar, forced and false gaiety. I used to hate it. I liked colleagues but only up to the time I walked out of the office at the end of the day. Those colleagues I really liked were friends in the normal meaning of the word.
> 
> ...


A lot of them really are predators somewhere on the sex offender scale.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

bobert said:


> It's been a while, but he was wearing some sort of athletic spandex pants. Which yeah, is odd. But, guess what all the women he was working with were wearing? Skin tight leggings so... If I remember correctly he was trying to prove a point and didn't think what they wore was appropriate


Wow, I have to admire his principles and big old brass balls in proving his point 😆🤣😂

I'm amazed by some clothes some women get away wearing at work, did his point land? I don't understand why some women dress have no sense of appropriateness, they're there to work not advertise their wares.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

bobert said:


> Prior to covid I was voluntold to be on the health & safety committee and most of the sexual harassment complaints came my way...
> Some of the complaints I heard were ridiculous. Like, a 21 year old (unattractive) male wore pants that were too tight and showed his junk or a 19 year old (unattractive) male offered to fill up a 21 year old females water bottle. That is not sexual harassment!


I don't know. Who wants to look at someone's junk in the office?


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

TXTrini said:


> I'm amazed by some clothes some women get away wearing at work, did his point land? I don't understand why some women dress have no sense of appropriateness, they're there to work not advertise their wares.


You wouldn't believe the cleavage I've seen at church! 🤭


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> Wow, I have to admire his principles and big old brass balls in proving his point 😆🤣😂
> 
> I'm amazed by some clothes some women get away wearing at work, did his point land? I don't understand why some women dress have no sense of appropriateness, they're there to work not advertise their wares.


That's true, but it totally depends on the office management in question. In my office, one pretty young woman showed a lot of cleavage. It made me uncomfortable. I liked her, but I didn't like having to go talk to her. And she also wore, as mentioned above, leggings instead of proper bottoms of some sort and when she bent over, you could see right through them and see her whole butt. She is now the boss's longterm girlfriend. Early days, during his divorce, he was stopping pretty women in bars, in elevators and on the street offering them jobs, but he got burned a few times and finally stopped just hiring hot girls.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I don't know. Who wants to look at someone's junk in the office?


That'd be way too distracting, I'd have a really hard timelooking at his face 😆



minimalME said:


> You wouldn't believe the cleavage I've seen at church! 🤭


Wow, that goes beyond inappropriate. I can't imagine ever doing that, not even as a teenager.



DownByTheRiver said:


> That's true, but it totally depends on the office management in question. In my office, one pretty young woman showed a lot of cleavage. It made me uncomfortable. I liked her, but I didn't like having to go talk to her. And she also wore, as mentioned above, leggings instead of proper bottoms of some sort and when she bent over, you could see right through them and see her whole butt. She is now the boss's longterm girlfriend. Early days, during his divorce, he was stopping pretty women in bars, in elevators and on the street offering them jobs, but he got burned a few times and finally stopped just hiring hot girls.


Women like that make things harder for the rest of us.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TXTrini said:


> Wow, I have to admire his principles and big old brass balls in proving his point 😆🤣😂
> 
> I'm amazed by some clothes some women get away wearing at work, did his point land? I don't understand why some women dress have no sense of appropriateness, they're there to work not advertise their wares.


It didn't work. All of the managers in that department were female and most of them dressed in leggings as well. He was told that he could keep wearing those pants though, and he did for a while but I don't know how long  He was maybe late 30's.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

bobert said:


> It's been a while, but he was wearing some sort of athletic spandex pants. Which yeah, is odd. But, guess what all the women he was working with were wearing? Skin tight leggings so... If I remember correctly he was trying to prove a point and didn't think what they wore was appropriate


I was pulled in to HR once because someone complained about my boss.

She was a big girl, which is only relevant because she was hanging out of her sundress. Two sizes too small, ass barely covered, breasts hanging out, and spaghetti straps. Highly inappropriate for our office.

My boss was having trouble with his computer after hours and she was helping as she was IT. She was leaning over him and he sighed in frustration, which he often did.

That piece of trash complained to HR that he "breathed" on her and I guarantee she did it because she found him unattractive. I worked with the guy for years and we are still good friends and I had to sit in HR and assure them that I've never seen him do anything remotely inappropriate. As I was there that evening they put a lot of weight on what I told them.

Fortunately they found the accusation ridiculous and told her to wear something work appropriate (we did have a dress code).

Everyone's opinion of her tanked after that. If someone is pestering you by all means tell them to stop and if they don't then report it. But she could've really messed up his career for something that was her fault.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

bobert said:


> It didn't work. All of the managers in that department were female and most of them dressed in leggings as well. He was told that he could keep wearing those pants though, and he did for a while but I don't know how long  He was maybe late 30's.


Good for him! That must have been hilarious! It would have been funny if he used a cup to enhance things 🤣

What kind of business was it? Please tell me it was at least a restaurant or something, that's so unprofessional.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

TXTrini said:


> Wow, that goes beyond inappropriate. I can't imagine ever doing that, not even as a teenager.


The one that comes to mind was a grown woman (not a teen) with huge breasts and a very low cut V dress. I passed her in the hallway and was like 😳.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

minimalME said:


> You wouldn't believe the cleavage I've seen at church! 🤭


Oh Yeah??? What church?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TXTrini said:


> Good for him! That must have been hilarious! It would have been funny if he used a cup to enhance things 🤣
> 
> What kind of business was it? Please tell me it was at least a restaurant or something, that's so unprofessional.


Unfortunately it was in a corporate office and they were mostly students and in the shipping/inventory department. 

Shortly after that incident someone started putting boogers on the bathroom wall. It wasn't figured out who was doing it but he was the top suspect... Painters went in to repaint and just painted over the boogers. I forgot about that until now


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Numb26 said:


> Oh Yeah??? What church?


Non-denominational. 😬


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

minimalME said:


> Non-denominational. 😬


I thought it might be "Our Lady of Chesty Brockwell" 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> That'd be way too distracting, I'd have a really hard timelooking at his face 😆
> 
> 
> Wow, that goes beyond inappropriate. I can't imagine ever doing that, not even as a teenager.
> ...


Yeah. I mean, I wore some inappropriate things occasionally to the office when I was young, too, mainly trying to make a new outfit out of nothing. But I wasn't showing my boobs and butt. And my office was a less formal place anyway. She was really young and making awful choices socially in general, keeping herself in bad situations because she would let people just hang around being a strain on her, out of kindness, you know. Just young. I do like her. She did grow up a bit and I'm dying to know if it was the boss who made her stop wearing stuff like that to work (hard to imagine, but maybe once he was dating her). 

Now theirs is a situation where he's quite a bit older than her, but it more or less grew organically, with her being his right hand assistant for some years and during his divorce, which was grueling. It wasn't a sudden affair at least. They grew dependent on each other, I think, for different types of support. He wasn't rich by any means when they got together, because his divorce really soaked him to the point he couldn't even pay his employees timely for a year or two. And he is very attractive physically, though his personality is cold until you come to understand him better. She was the only one in the office not to be afraid of him.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

minimalME said:


> The one that comes to mind was a grown woman (not a teen) with huge breasts and a very low cut V dress. I passed her in the hallway and was like 😳.


🤓


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

bobert said:


> It didn't work. All of the managers in that department were female and most of them dressed in leggings as well. He was told that he could keep wearing those pants though, and he did for a while but I don't know how long  He was maybe late 30's.


If you're not Robert Plant, you shouldn't wear pants like that.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

This is the look my wife gives any guys who try their luck.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I haven’t been to a bar by myself in years. The last time I was at a hotel bar by myself while my husband and son were upstairs. I was seated in at the bar with my laptop, writing. This older (around 65 I guess, I was about 46 at the time) sent the bartender over to offer to buy me a drink. He pointed him out and he waved. I told the bartender to say thank you but no thank you, I’m married. The bartender came back with a drink and said he wanted to buy me one anyway. I texted my husband and he asked if the man spoke to me and I said no. I was going to come up and he said no, he’d come down. He shows up a few minutes later in a hotel robe and slippers and sat beside me playing on his phone so I could finish my drink. The man came over, introduced himself to us both and told my husband he was lucky to have such a pretty wife. He asked if he could sit down and I said we were headed back to our room, thank you for the drink and good night. My husband wasn’t upset, he said these things happen and didn’t understand why I was surprised. He said I didn’t do anything wrong, I was a pretty woman alone at a bar and the guy wasn’t aggressive or anything. Still, I haven’t gone to a hotel bar at night alone again. We travel a lot, so I get a drink and bring it to the room to write. Not a thrilling story, but this kind of thing does happen.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Here's Conan:








[/QUOTE]


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Here's me:


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Mate guarding can range from just making your presence known as a mate to actively running interference for your mate.
> 
> Mrs. C and I are a team and well practiced with each other.
> 
> ...


I had just wondered if there was some etymology or behavioral research. I find many new things discussed in these forums that I’ve never even heard of before. 

Want to know the most depressing part if Wikipedia is to be believed? The part that said studies showed that 50% of females admitting to successfully poaching, and 50% of males admitted to being poached. I guess that shouldn’t be depressing to me since I’m done with the wild.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Usually all I have to do is stand up. LMAO


So you’re saying you don’t need a bodyguard for the meet and greet now? I thought I was going to have to preserve your honor. Good to know. 🙂


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

QuietRiot said:


> So you’re saying you don’t need a bodyguard for the meet and greet now? I thought I was going to have to preserve your honor. Good to know. 🙂


I only fear @TXTrini 🥴


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

TXTrini said:


> I saw the pic earlier. That said, it seemed like the chick enjoyed the attention, even if she wasn't interested in old boy. Kinda hard to judge exactly what was going on without knowing more, but bf seemed the type to roll over.
> 
> 
> Not quite. What makes unwanted attention creepy for me at least is persistence after I've said no.
> ...


That's why I mentioned attraction. As far as persistence, only guys without options are persistent. Once a woman says no it's becomes a waste of time.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Al_Bundy said:


> That's why I mentioned attraction. As far as persistence, only guys without options are persistent. Once a woman says no it's becomes a waste of time.


I think that's kind of true but I've known men with options who were very persistent. They can be just as persistent as a girl with a crush. Two guys in my life were hung up on the same pretty barmaid. Both were persistent in their own way and both had lots of other options. She wasn't interested in either one of them. She had her own obsession with another guy.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Two guys in my life were hung up on the same pretty barmaid.


Those pretty barmaids are kryptonite.

I partially picked my grad school because of an alcohol rep at Larry Blake’s in Berkeley. She was hot and gave us free beer, I was thinking wow this is where it is at. Hot bar lady who gives free beer!!!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

I have never been jealous or "mate guarded"...my belief is that if I need to do that, I'm with the wrong guy. Also, I just don't want a man who doesn't want ME. My STBX was always free to make any choice he wanted about sex, porn, women, etc...and then, I interpreted and responded to his choices based on what they told me. And him lying about any of it only bought him limited time -- the truth always came out eventually, especially because I refused to lie to myself about what his actions told me. Giving people total freedom shows you exactly how they feel about you.

I have always felt VERY attached to my partner, but not possessive. I would NEVER tell my partner what to do - I prefer to watch what HE does and decide what that means about his feelings for me. If I think he wants someone else, my response will always be - GO. I want a man who is happy and excited about ME...once he doesn't want me anymore, he should move on, and no matter how sad it makes me, I would let go of him (like I did).

But I can't imagine a situation where I would ever lean away from my partner towards another man, not because it's wrong, but because I just don't want to. When I have a partner, I want HIM and HIS attention. Other guys just don't have any appeal to me, because my heart and mind and desire are orbiting intensely around HIM, not them. Anyone who would cause me to take my focus away from him for any length of time would be an annoyance to me, not a temptation or attraction.

And again, the reason those feelings and boundaries existed wasn't because I had to create them, or he had to tell me he needed them - they existed naturally as part of how I felt about HIM, and what he meant to me. When I felt loved by and special to him, my love and desire burned bright and strong, and never lessened or wavered until I realized that he didn't love or want me at all.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Those pretty barmaids are kryptonite.
> 
> I partially picked my grad school because of an alcohol rep at Larry Blake’s in Berkeley. She was hot and gave us free beer, I was thinking wow this is where it is at. Hot bar lady who gives free beer!!!


This woman was the only one in town with natural thigh gap, the kind you can really only usually get from liposuction. So she had these great legs and butt, and just pretty normal boobs. Surprisingly she had short hair.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> This woman was the only one in town with natural thigh gap, the kind you can really only usually get from liposuction. So she had these great legs and butt, and just pretty normal boobs. Surprisingly she had short hair.


Oh boy. We’re watching the British show Line of Duty now and the female lead has really short hair. HATE IT. I was like wow she’d be hot if she had longer hair and Mrs CCP is shaking her head.

I am not that picky overall but I like longer hair on women. My wife wears hers much shorter than she used to but it’s still longer than shoulder length.

My mom cut hers short a couple times and I remember my dad WTF’ing out. My mom is into fashion and stuff and will even make her own clothes, she’s fairly talented at most things but that hair was a bad idea for her.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> Oh boy. We’re watching the British show Line of Duty now and the female lead has really short hair. HATE IT. I was like wow she’d be hot if she had longer hair and Mrs CCP is shaking her head.
> 
> I am not that picky overall but I like longer hair on women. My wife wears hers much shorter than she used to but it’s still longer than shoulder length.
> 
> My mom cut hers short a couple times and I remember my dad WTF’ing out. My mom is into fashion and stuff and will even make her own clothes, she’s fairly talented at most things but that hair was a bad idea for her.


Somewhere I think I have a local bar guide
cover that has this girl on it. I can't publish it though. The owner of the little local bar guide is a jackass who likes to make his living trying to sue people for stuff like that.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> I only fear @TXTrini 🥴


Why??
I'm literally 1/2 your size!


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

TXTrini said:


> Why??
> I'm literally 1/2 your size!


Men know better.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

jonty30 said:


> Men know better.
> 
> View attachment 79870


I'm pretty laid back and tolerant, but if someone comes looking for asshole, they'll find one.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

BTW, my exH never made guarded. I was shocked and dismayed when he tolerated a friend and an employee (2 different occasions) asking if we swapped. I should have known he was a POS then, but he seemed smug.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> BTW, my exH never made guarded. I was shocked and dismayed when he tolerated a friend and an employee (2 different occasions) asking if we swapped. I should have known he was a POS then, but he seemed smug.


Awkward.....


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> Why??
> I'm literally 1/2 your size!


When Mrs. C gets too bratty, I have a tendency to pick her up like a football and run around the house with her 😋


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Awkward.....


I was disappointed, honestly. It didn't seem very husbandly. 


ConanHub said:


> When Mrs. C gets too bratty, I have a tendency to pick her up like a football and run around the house with her 😋


😆


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I think that Mr D knows that I am more than capable of standing up for myself. He also trusts me 100%.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> Oh boy. We’re watching the British show Line of Duty now and the female lead has really short hair. HATE IT. I was like wow she’d be hot if she had longer hair and Mrs CCP is shaking her head.


I find her incredibly irritating... but nice eyes...  

I never had to "mate guard" my wife. I always trusted her.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> *This woman was the only one in town with natural thigh gap,* the kind you can really only usually get from liposuction. So she had these great legs and butt, and just pretty normal boobs. Surprisingly she had short hair.


 I have always found no thigh gap to be unusual (even I have thigh gap).


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

@ConanHub named me as one of the reasons he started this thread but I had decided not to write about any of my experiences. However this morning I remembered one occasion which even now sixteen years later still makes me laugh out loud when I think about it.
When I was younger I worked mainly in Europe and my parents lived between NY and Edinburgh. When I was twenty one my Mom wanted to meet somewhere to celebrate so we decided on Rotterdam which I was visiting almost weekly. My parents came over for the weekend and I met them for lunch on the Saturday.
We were having lunch when an English woman approached and immediately started talking to me and she made it pretty clear what was on her mind.She looked as if she’d started early on the vino. I told her I wasn’t interested and I was hoping to have a quiet lunch with my parents. She left and my Dad made a joke about me inheriting his good looks which of course my mother just rolled her eyes to heaven and said “in your dreams”.
However the woman decided to try again but this time she took a different approach. She offered to pay me to go back to her room with her. My Dad asked her how much and my Mom then completely lost her cool. In no particular order she reamed out me, my Dad and the English woman.
When we finally calmed her down Dad told her that he was just kidding and I hadn’t done anything at all. Her reply was hilarious. She told Dad he was a **** stirrer and told me I looked so pleased with myself if I was made of chocolate I would eat myself. I had never heard that expression before and to hear my five foot two mother berating her six foot husband and her six foot two son was just soo funny.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> I'm pretty laid back and tolerant, but if someone comes looking for asshole, they'll find one.


Lolol!!!!! I hope someone is keeping track of all your quips, because they are BRILLIANT!!!!!!


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Blondilocks said:


> I would term any guy old enough to be your daddy a predator. And a creep. They have life experiences the younger woman does not. Plus, a whole lot more baggage. There is a reason other than the mere physical that they are hitting on women young enough to be their daughters.


Why is he automatically in the creep stage?

Was Richard Gere on Pretty Woman a creep?
How about Sean Connery in multiple movies?

Etc.

Conversely, when I was 19 and 20, women in their 30s and 40s hit on me constantly. And I'm not exaggerating. This was in the early 80s, in Houston.
Would you classify those older women as cteepers?


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Was Richard Gere on Pretty Woman a creep?


Kinda yeah. He hired a prostitute. Plus there are those old rumors about him.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Kinda yeah. He hired a prostitute. Plus there are those old rumors about him.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> Kinda yeah. He hired a prostitute. Plus there are those old rumors about him.


In the movie, he treated Julia Roberts well, and of course the ending was roses for all.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> @ConanHub named me as one of the reasons he started this thread but I had decided not to write about any of my experiences. However this morning I remembered one occasion which even now sixteen years later still makes me laugh out loud when I think about it.
> When I was younger I worked mainly in Europe and my parents lived between NY and Edinburgh. When I was twenty one my Mom wanted to meet somewhere to celebrate so we decided on Rotterdam which I was visiting almost weekly. My parents came over for the weekend and I met them for lunch on the Saturday.
> We were having lunch when an English woman approached and immediately started talking to me and she made it pretty clear what was on her mind.She looked as if she’d started early on the vino. I told her I wasn’t interested and I was hoping to have a quiet lunch with my parents. She left and my Dad made a joke about me inheriting his good looks which of course my mother just rolled her eyes to heaven and said “in your dreams”.
> However the woman decided to try again but this time she took a different approach. She offered to pay me to go back to her room with her. My Dad asked her how much and my Mom then completely lost her cool. In no particular order she reamed out me, my Dad and the English woman.
> When we finally calmed her down Dad told her that he was just kidding and I hadn’t done anything at all. Her reply was hilarious. She told Dad he was a **** stirrer and told me I looked so pleased with myself if I was made of chocolate I would eat myself. I had never heard that expression before and to hear my five foot two mother berating her six foot husband and her six foot two son was just soo funny.


Hahaha! You and the Catwoman just got me to pay more attention to certain things. I've been a little more observant and curious since I heard about flight attendants.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BTW folks, my phone died last night and I don't know if it will arise. As I'm a travelling man, I won't be back often until I replace it and?or get it fixed. I'm on a dinosaur of a hotel computer right now. 

Talk at you TAMmers when I can and take care.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> BTW folks, my phone died last night and I don't know if it will arise. As I'm a travelling man, I won't be back often until I replace it and?or get it fixed. I'm on a dinosaur of a hotel computer right now.
> 
> Talk at you TAMmers when I can and take care.


I'm surprised you remembered your password!


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Why is he automatically in the creep stage?
> 
> 1. Was Richard Gere on Pretty Woman a creep?
> 2. How about Sean Connery in multiple movies?
> ...


1. Kinda, yeah.
2. Oh fo SHO.
3. We call those "cougars" and yeah, creepers. Those women (I can tell you this because I remember feeling that way) are dealing with aging and trying to make themselves feel better by attracting really young men. One day you turn around and suddenly you're not pretty any more, you're OLD, and men no longer notice you. When that happens it's ROUGH. I'm sure you're adorable but they were hitting on you because of their own emotional issues.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> 1. Kinda, yeah.
> 2. Oh fo SHO.
> 3. We call those "cougars" and yeah, creepers. Those women (I can tell you this because I remember feeling that way) are dealing with aging and trying to make themselves feel better by attracting really young men. One day you turn around and suddenly you're not pretty any more, you're OLD, and men no longer notice you. When that happens it's ROUGH. I'm sure you're adorable but they were hitting on you because of their own emotional issues.


Very well possible. I have to say, it was a good time, in many cities across the country, as an IT designer and PM I traveled extensively. Standard dress code suits, and always in higher end hotels. Being 6'3, 180lbs, 22yrs old, I guess I fit the bill for them. 
I hit the genetic lottery broad shoulders narrow waist, lots of time working on a farm growing up loading watermelons and hay.
Sometimes for kicks I'd change into jeans, and T shirts, boots, and hit the same bars, and make a point to be not open to being talked to, and that only made it more likely women would try to take me back to their room. 

I still weigh 175 to 180, regular gym free weights, but all my lovin is for dear W.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Mate guarding isn't necessary for us. Most of the times my wife has been hit on have been at work so there's nothing I can do about that. She can take care of herself there, and I'll only get involved other times if she signals me that she wants/needs me to. As for me, I don't get hit on often, and can deal with it without help.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> 1. Kinda, yeah.
> 2. Oh fo SHO.
> 3. We call those "cougars" and yeah, creepers. Those women (I can tell you this because I remember feeling that way) are dealing with aging and trying to make themselves feel better by attracting really young men. One day you turn around and suddenly you're not pretty any more, you're OLD, and men no longer notice you. When that happens it's ROUGH. I'm sure you're adorable but they were hitting on you because of their own emotional issues.


Oh they might be super horny and interested in a young stud who can go multiple rounds. A 20 something y/o dude pointed out his advantages and I admit to being sorely tempted 😂. Would have had to muzzle him though 🤔


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Oh they might be super horny and interested in a young stud who can go multiple rounds. A 20 something y/o dude pointed out his advantages and I admit to being sorely tempted 😂. Would have had to muzzle him though 🤔


"hands you a ballgag"


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> 3. We call those "cougars" and yeah, creepers. Those women (I can tell you this because I remember feeling that way) are dealing with aging and trying to make themselves feel better by attracting really young men. *One day you turn around and suddenly you're not pretty any more, you're OLD, and men no longer notice you.* When that happens it's ROUGH. I'm sure you're adorable but they were hitting on you because of their own emotional issues.


There are many men who would disagree with you about aging making women unattractive. 
And I've seen MANY women in their 70s and older who I thought were still pretty.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> There are many men who would disagree with you about aging making women unattractive.
> And I've seen MANY women in their 70s and older who I thought were still pretty.


Mmmm, Betty White!!! 😜🤔


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> "hands you a ballgag"


I'm good, thanks. I decided on quality over quantity, so I have an age appropriate bf (+5 yrs older). 

Some of you men definitely get more delicious with age AND bring good conversation 😉.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

TXTrini said:


> Oh they might be super horny and interested in a young stud who can go multiple rounds.


Lol.. lucky me then. The other day I was good to go again after an hour, my wife says, “Already?” with a kind of shocked and suspicious tone. I could hear the sad trombone from Price is Right going off.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> I'm good, thanks. I decided on quality over quantity, so I have an age appropriate bf (+5 yrs older).
> 
> Some of you men definitely get more delicious with age AND bring good conversation 😉.


Men sometimes do age like fine wine


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Why is he automatically in the creep stage?
> 
> Was Richard Gere on Pretty Woman a creep?
> How about Sean Connery in multiple movies?
> ...


Yes, those older women are creepers.

If one of those old biddies in their 30's (says me from the age of 47 😀) even looks at my 18 or 20 year old boys she'd better hope I'm not looking.

I'm only partly kidding.

And yes....those old facts in movies paired with women half their damn age are creepy.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Men sometimes do age like fine wine


Sometimes.

I find it funny when some men say women age like milk and men age like wine, bc it's definitely not true across the board. I've seen people of either sex end up on either end of the spectrum.

People on the whole definitely get more interesting looking with age though. I see it mostly in the eyes .. there's more intelligence there.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Men sometimes do age like fine wine


I think I look better than I used to but one thing that has not aged well are my joints. I am extremely stiff despite stretching and supplements, aging of those is not going well.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Sometimes.
> 
> I find it funny when some men say women age like milk and men age like wine, bc it's definitely not true across the board. I've seen people of either sex end up on either end of the spectrum.
> 
> People on the whole definitely get more interesting looking with age though. I see it mostly in the eyes .. there's more intelligence there.


Or, like me, some people age like vinegar


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Or, like me, some people age like vinegar


I bet you just like to **** talk yourself.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> I bet you just like to **** talk yourself.


Maybe 🤫 Or maybe my EX completely destroyed my self confidence. LOL 

Seriously though, I would give myself a kind 5


----------



## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Numb26 said:


> Maybe 🤫 Or maybe my EX completely destroyed my self confidence. LOL
> 
> Seriously though, I would give myself a kind 5


But you’re in good shape and run your own business? That’s huge. 🤗


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

minimalME said:


> But you’re in good shape and run your own business? That’s huge. 🤗


Those are definitely in my "plus" column


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

A lot of people confuse aging well with looking a lot younger. A lot of people imagine they look all kinds of younger but if that were true then you should be able to put them next to one who is younger and you shouldn't be able to tell the difference.

But you almost always can.

You don't have to look a lot younger to look great though. My bf is in his 50's and if I just met him I'd guess him to he in his 50's. But I don't find younger dudes any more attractive because the idea of an actual peer appeals to me. So I'd much rather get naked with his hot 56 year old self then a younger dude 😀


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

lifeistooshort said:


> Yes, those older women are creepers.
> 
> If one of those old biddies in their 30's (says me from the age of 47 😀) even looks at my 18 or 20 year old boys she'd better hope I'm not looking.
> 
> ...


But man, gotta love women in their thirties. Back then, they were the financially successful ones and in the early eighties I was just starting my career and single. I didn't get a creep vibe by no means. Just women wanting a good time. Some in Texas turned into long term fwbs. Learned a lot. Such is life.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> I have always found no thigh gap to be unusual (even I have thigh gap).


Well, I'm talking about that perfect thigh gap where the tops of your inner legs are perfectly flat. I had good legs, but I was athletic enough when young to have some muscle poking out up there to forever condemn me to bulbous inner upper leg. Most people do. It's not unsightly or anything, just not Barbie body.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Why is he automatically in the creep stage?
> 
> Was Richard Gere on Pretty Woman a creep?
> How about Sean Connery in multiple movies?
> ...


I would reply yes to both of those characters in movies being creeps. I thought the whole Pretty Woman movie was creepy, and Sean Connery does zero for me and his Bond character definitely had some creep in it.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Numb26 said:


> Maybe 🤫 Or maybe my EX completely destroyed my self confidence. LOL
> 
> Seriously though, I would give myself a kind 5


All that really matters is if you are the type of person who can be happy despite what others think of them.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> All that really matters is if you are the type of person who can be happy despite what others think of them.


Never been happier then these past 2 years!


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> In the movie, he treated Julia Roberts well, and of course the ending was roses for all.


That was such a disgusting movie and such a bad things for young people to like. Like prostitution is going to get you the fairytale. Sure.


----------



## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

As far as Pretty Woman......

#2 movie of 1990. Somebody was buying it and it wasn't guys.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> There are many men who would disagree with you about aging making women unattractive.
> And I've seen MANY women in their 70s and older who I thought were still pretty.


My (blood) aunt and her husband were gorgeous when young. She was younger than him, but they were both stunning (small town people). He was so attractive that during WWII, he ended up stationed in California for a bit and Hollywood tried to recruit him, but he was very, very shy and humble. My aunt, on the other hand, would have gone for it. They were both still very beautiful people up until they died in their 80s. Good bones. They ate well, too, but I think they both did exercise.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> I think I look better than I used to but one thing that has not aged well are my joints. I am extremely stiff despite stretching and supplements, aging of those is not going well.


I feel the same way. I do everything I can to stay healthy and in shape. That includes being on a first name basis with my ortho doc, lol.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> I bet you just like to **** talk yourself.


Yeah, he certainly seems to have the most dating experiences on the singles thread...


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> I think I look better than I used to but one thing that has not aged well are my joints. I am extremely stiff despite stretching and supplements, aging of those is not going well.


It's probably from eating too much meat, sorry kid!! We are not technically carnivores, and some bodies handle the uric acid better than others, and the joints are the parts that can suffer. It could also be that you need to change your workouts to be less impact and more endurance, so the muscle builds more slowly but it's stronger and offers your joints more protection.


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> Yeah, he certainly seems to have the most dating experiences on the singles thread...


But they have mostly only been one-offs. Seems as though somebody peed in the dating pool.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> Oh they might be super horny and interested in a young stud who can go multiple rounds. A 20 something y/o dude pointed out his advantages and I admit to being sorely tempted 😂. Would have had to muzzle him though 🤔


I would LOVE to hear what a 20-something kid thinks his advantages are to an older woman...Lol!!!

I would barely trust a 40-something yr old KID to know what I consider an advantage in a man!!!

Wait, where is @Enigma32...?? He always has stories about older women hitting on him...


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Numb26 said:


> But they have mostly only been one-offs. Seems as though somebody peed in the dating pool.


Yes, but clearly they are finding something attractive about you!! You can't be vinegar and having that many dates!

And "peed in the dating pool"...??? Lolol!!!!


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> I would LOVE to hear what a 20-something kid thinks his advantages are to an older woman...Lol!!!
> 
> I would barely trust a 40-something yr old KID to know what I consider an advantage in a man!!!
> 
> Wait, where is @Enigma32...?? He always has stories about older women hitting on him...


Biggest advantage? Experience


----------



## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> Yes, but clearly they are finding something attractive about you!! You can't be vinegar and having that many dates!
> 
> And "peed in the dating pool"...??? Lolol!!!!


I think it's my body and I am somewhat successful. I have had women tell me that pickings are slim.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Al_Bundy said:


> As far as Pretty Woman......
> 
> #2 movie of 1990. Somebody was buying it and it wasn't guys.


Who can resist a movie about a poor, disadvantaged woman being "saved" by a rich guy...?? 

DUMB!!!


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Numb26 said:


> Biggest advantage? Experience


Well....


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I would reply yes to both of those characters in movies being creeps. I thought the whole Pretty Woman movie was creepy, and Sean Connery does zero for me and his Bond character definitely had some creep in it.


There might be, oh, at least one or two ladies that might, just might 😉 find Sean Connery attractive at most stages of his career.

But I could be wrong here, well, not really.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That was such a disgusting movie and such a bad things for young people to like. Like prostitution is going to get you the fairytale. Sure.


I never said it was a great movie, just a movie.

Yeah, it was a box office flop. Only it wasn't. 

And bear in mind it was only a make believe movie. No worse than Serendipity or Sleepless in Seatle, or the multitude of sappy movies.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> I would LOVE to hear what a 20-something kid thinks his advantages are to an older woman...Lol!!!
> 
> I would barely trust a 40-something yr old KID to know what I consider an advantage in a man!!!
> 
> Wait, where is @Enigma32...?? He always has stories about older women hitting on him...


I'm 43 now so it's been a while since I was a younger man but I was very socially active in those days and met a lot of older ladies so....yeah. In my experience back then, older ladies would make fun of younger men and call them babies, they would pretend they didn't like young men, what have you, but they would still hit on me. When I was maybe 22 a 35 year old woman invited me to her place and when I got there she was just taking a bath. I talked to her for a bit in the bath and she was referencing an earlier conversation with a friend of hers where they called me her boy-toy. We had never even done anything together but her intentions were pretty clear. I had other options and chose to bow out after that and left. Never heard from her again.

Going out to the bars in my 20's I had a lot of older women basically throwing themselves out me but they always liked to act superior in some way because they were older. Most of them were in their early to mid 30's but there were a couple in their early 40s too that I remember. Sometimes I would joke back with them when they made digs about my age but I usually just ignored a lot of the older ones since they generally didn't look so hot and I was beyond shallow back then. I did date a few older ladies though.

I think that people in generally kinda get an ego boost by getting with someone younger. Maybe it makes them feel like they are also younger, or maybe they just like the idea that they are attractive enough to get someone younger. I do have female friends that will brag when a young guy hits on them. I know I have done the same thing, when the situations were reversed and 20 year old girls were hitting on me back when I was in college in my mid 30's. 

The advantages? Younger people are almost always better looking. I won't pretend I didn't look better at 22 than I do now. Among other reasons, like the ego boost I already mentioned.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> There might be, oh, at least one or two ladies that might, just might 😉 find Sean Connery attractive at most stages of his career.
> 
> But I could be wrong here, well, not really.


Yes, there are some. I think it's mostly men.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Maybe 🤫 Or maybe my EX completely destroyed my self confidence. LOL
> 
> Seriously though, I would give myself a kind 5


I understand. Mine was demolished too, but neither one of us have had issues finding other people, have we? So it's all in our heads. BTW, most of us are average, it's not a bad thing to be at all.



lifeistooshort said:


> A lot of people confuse aging well with looking a lot younger. A lot of people imagine they look all kinds of younger but if that were true then you should be able to put them next to one who is younger and you shouldn't be able to tell the difference.
> 
> But you almost always can.
> 
> You don't have to look a lot younger to look great though. My bf is in his 50's and if I just met him I'd guess him to he in his 50's. But I don't find younger dudes any more attractive because the idea of an actual peer appeals to me. So I'd much rather get naked with his hot 56 year old self then a younger dude 😀


I quite agree! But we have a youth obsessed culture, along with heightened expectations , maybe due to the availability of beauty treatments , enhancements and plastic surgery to the masses.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> I would LOVE to hear what a 20-something kid thinks his advantages are to an older woman...Lol!!!
> 
> I would barely trust a 40-something yr old KID to know what I consider an advantage in a man!!!
> 
> Wait, where is @Enigma32...?? He always has stories about older women hitting on him...


I already said! Basically, he was selling himself as being "on demand ". Mind you, I wasn't exactly looking to get serious with someone off the bat, remember the ****storm I'd just emergend from?

So.... it was rather tempting for a hot minute 🤔. Unfortunately, I'm not the kinda chick who can compartmentalize sex from emotions. Girl, just wait until you start dating and see the interesting offers that come your way 🤣



LisaDiane said:


> Who can resist a movie about a poor, disadvantaged woman being "saved" by a rich guy...??
> 
> DUMB!!!


Yeah, I watched it to see what all the hoopla was and though it was stupid. I feel the same about the premise that some dumb young chick would be impressed by an emotionally stunted billionaire wailing on her ass, because....


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> A lot of people confuse aging well with looking a lot younger. A lot of people imagine they look all kinds of younger but if that were true then you should be able to put them next to one who is younger and you shouldn't be able to tell the difference.
> 
> But you almost always can.
> 
> You don't have to look a lot younger to look great though. My bf is in his 50's and if I just met him I'd guess him to he in his 50's. But I don't find younger dudes any more attractive because the idea of an actual peer appeals to me. So I'd much rather get naked with his hot 56 year old self then a younger dude 😀


To me, it's important someone understand me, so they need to be from my era anyway.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I thought it was every street prostitute’s dream to be whisked away by a John and become a lady like in My Fair Lady. It helps if the guy is singing “On the Street Where You Live”.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> I thought it was every street prostitute’s dream to be whisked away by a John and become a lady like in My Fair Lady. It helps if the guy is singing “On the Street Where You Live”.


Maybe back in those days. Now, a street prostitute likely only cares about her next fix and not much else.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Maybe back in those days. Now, a street prostitute likely only cares about her next fix and not much else.


I was joking. I thought adding the bit about singing would have given it away but I failed


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> I was joking. I thought adding the bit about singing would have given it away but I failed


Sorry bud!


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

TXTrini said:


> I already said! Basically, he was selling himself as being "on demand ". Mind you, I wasn't exactly looking to get serious with someone off the bat, remember the ****storm I'd just emergend from?
> 
> So.... it was rather tempting for a hot minute 🤔. Unfortunately, I'm not the kinda chick who can compartmentalize sex from emotions. Girl, just wait until you start dating and see the interesting offers that come your way 🤣


Lol!!! I would have been cheering you on, for sure!!  Maybe it's because I have two boys in their mid-20s, and because I have a younger PITA brother who is in his mid-40s, but unless guys have some gray hair and wrinkles, they only look cute and harmless to me, not masculine and strong. I had one of my boys' friends who is 30 say something like, "I'm masculine and strong!" (he has a beard and lifts weights), and I just wanted to pat him on the head and give him a cookie!! Lol!

As for ME and dating...oh UGH!!!! I'm quite content to sit in my house and hide from that for now...!!!!!! The war stories on here make it sound confusing and terrifying!!! What if someone peed in the dating pool over here too???



TXTrini said:


> Yeah, I watched it to see what all the hoopla was and though it was stupid. I feel the same about the premise that some dumb young chick would be impressed by an emotionally stunted billionaire wailing on her ass, because....


Lolol!!! RIGHT?? I never watched that Gray movie...I felt NO interest in it AT ALL.


----------



## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> Lol!!! I would have been cheering you on, for sure!!  Maybe it's because I have two boys in their mid-20s, and because I have a younger PITA brother who is in his mid-40s, but unless guys have some gray hair and wrinkles, they only look cute and harmless to me, not masculine and strong. I had one of my boys' friends who is 30 say something like, "I'm masculine and strong!" (he has a beard and lifts weights), and I just wanted to pat him on the head and give him a cookie!! Lol!
> 
> As for ME and dating...oh UGH!!!! I'm quite content to sit in my house and hide from that for now...!!!!!! The war stories on here make it sound confusing and terrifying!!! What if someone peed in the dating pool over here too???
> 
> ...


I'm an equal opportunity ogler, once they don't have a baby face and don't speak. Then again, I don't have children, so your sons might definitely influence your taste. Interestingly, some men with daughters don't seem to be bothered by that at all, makes me oh so curious about their other thoughts 🤔

Nothing wrong with hiding out while you regroup, it's supposed to be the best thing to do. Don't let other people's negative experiences add to the fear you already have, or it'll cripple you. No guts, no glory!

I barely read a page of the book in an ebook sample and it made my brain hurt. So I wasn't particularly interested in seeing it, even though they've been free to watch on HBO for years.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> I had one of my boys' friends who is 30 say something like, "I'm masculine and strong!" (he has a beard and lifts weights), and I just wanted to pat him on the head and give him a cookie!! Lol!


I was on the other side of a kid (<20) working with me in the boxing ring today. Guaranteed no cookies were offered. No cuteness to be found, only pain and humiliation.


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

LisaDiane said:


> Yes, but clearly they are finding something attractive about you!! You can't be vinegar and having that many dates!
> 
> And "peed in the dating pool"...??? Lolol!!!!


@Numb26 came out with probably the best line ever written on tam. He said “I like my women and my coffee the same way, without some other guys **** in it”.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

TexasMom1216 said:


> One day you turn around and suddenly you're not pretty any more, you're OLD, and men no longer notice you. When that happens it's ROUGH.


I get that you were relating this to 'cougars'...

And here comes the 'BUT' ....but applying this as general commentary to the topic, I'm going to add that I also disagree that age does not necessarily equate to physical beauty. On some level, objectively, I understand some of the other views raised here about it; from my world view, however, I don't equate to 'suddenly' being old and being unattractive.

I've typically rarely been hit on in daily life scenarios (aside from bars or sometimes at work). Even when younger. And that is why I have felt nosy when reading of others whereby its a fairly regular happening when just going to the store or something, and how those in relationships then navigate that.

Separate to that, and as for getting older, I don't receive or seek validation through my appearance. Sure, I can still have moments of being vain, and I do like that my husband is physically attracted to me, however, stemming from childhood, my mother tried to instill in me (and which I recognize more and the older I get) not to focus on / place too much internal value on my appearance; and rather more what I can give and who I am as a person.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Andy1001 said:


> ...and told me I looked so pleased with myself if I was made of chocolate I would eat myself.




This is great. And I'm absolutely pocketing that. Great memory to share in context of the thread, and with fondness for your parents.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> I think I look better than I used to but one thing that has not aged well are my joints. I am extremely stiff despite stretching and supplements, aging of those is not going well.


It's been downhill for me except my muscles get bigger much easier for some reason.
BTW, Mrs Conan made me buy a new phone.😁


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> I would LOVE to hear what a 20-something kid thinks his advantages are to an older woman...Lol!!!
> 
> I would barely trust a 40-something yr old KID to know what I consider an advantage in a man!!!
> 
> Wait, where is @Enigma32...?? He always has stories about older women hitting on him...


I had older women wanting to play when I was in high school and up to age twenty when I met Mrs Conan who was 31 at the time.

To be fair, I really wasn't at a power disadvantage even though I wouldn't advise my experience be emulated.😉


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> I had older women wanting to play when I was in high school and up to age twenty when I met Mrs Conan who was 31 at the time.
> 
> To be fair, I really wasn't at a power disadvantage even though I wouldn't advise my experience be emulated.😉


You definitely got lucky (blessed!), and your story could have had a VERY different outcome!

But it didn't!!


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> I thought it was every street prostitute’s dream to be whisked away by a John and become a lady like in My Fair Lady. It helps if the guy is singing “On the Street Where You Live”.


Are you admitting that you sing musicals as well as heavy metal...???


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Andy1001 said:


> @Numb26 came out with probably the best line ever written on tam. He said “I like my women and my coffee the same way, without some other guys **** in it”.


Lolol!!!!


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Are you admitting that you sing musicals as well as heavy metal...???


No but I like jazz standards and the song I reference there shows up in fake books.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> BTW, Mrs Conan made me buy a new phone.😁


I keep fixing my iphone 6...Lol!!! I get a perverse pleasure in changing the failing parts out (myself!) and preventing them from getting my money!!!!! 

Also, I barely use it, I love my laptop (which is also older and has been fixed by me several times!!), so I simply cannot justify spending that much money on something that is so annoying, when there are SO many other much more fun things I could spend money on!!!!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> I keep fixing my iphone 6...Lol!!! I get a perverse pleasure in changing the failing parts out (myself!) and preventing them from getting my money!!!!!
> 
> Also, I barely use it, I love my laptop (which is also older and has been fixed by me several times!!), so I simply cannot justify spending that much money on something that is so annoying, when there are SO many other much more fun things I could spend money on!!!!


I definitely agree but I was between a rock and a hard place.

I can't do business without my phone. I'm still going to get my old one repaired though.😁


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> I definitely agree but I was between a rock and a hard place.
> 
> I can't do business without my phone. I'm still going to get my old one repaired though.😁


Oh, I wasn't criticizing you at all!!! Especially if people use and love their phones, they are worth the money for them!

I definitely think you should have the old one repaired though - you could sell it or give it away!!!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> Oh, I wasn't criticizing you at all!!! Especially if people use and love their phones, they are worth the money for them!
> 
> I definitely think you should have the old one repaired though - you could sell it or give it away!!!


Do to my professional life being put in jeopardy by my shortsightedness, I'm going to keep it as a back up. Just switch out the SIM and wala!


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Luckylucky said:


> Disrespect from his partner? Or disrespect from the old guy?


From both!


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> I'm just a little mouse flower of a man. I'm not sure why anyone would feel threatened by little old me.😉


Exactly! Just because im 6'05" 275#, carry a gun and pepper spray, know where to hide the bodies and my kids friends say i look like a pissed off cop with piercing blue eyes.....im really a teddy bear that cries over chick flix and am a sucker for romance movies and weddings.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

TXTrini said:


> Wow, I have to admire his principles and big old brass balls in proving his point 😆🤣😂
> 
> I'm amazed by some clothes some women get away wearing at work, did his point land? I don't understand why some women dress have no sense of appropriateness, they're there to work not advertise their wares.


I call them hoochie momma pants.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

TXTrini said:


> That'd be way too distracting, I'd have a really hard timelooking at his face 😆
> 
> 
> Wow, that goes beyond inappropriate. I can't imagine ever doing that, not even as a teenager.
> ...


It is beyond inappropriate no matter where you are.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

That is like me. Im the redwood growing in the back of the group photo at least a head above tge rest.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> That is like me. Im the redwood growing in the back of the group photo at least a head above tge rest.


And I'm the midget in the front (I'm 5'0")...Lol!!!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> And I'm the midget in the front (I'm 5'0")...Lol!!!


Same as Mrs. Conan.😉


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

LisaDiane said:


> I have never been jealous or "mate guarded"...my belief is that if I need to do that, I'm with the wrong guy. Also, I just don't want a man who doesn't want ME. My STBX was always free to make any choice he wanted about sex, porn, women, etc...and then, I interpreted and responded to his choices based on what they told me. And him lying about any of it only bought him limited time -- the truth always came out eventually, especially because I refused to lie to myself about what his actions told me. Giving people total freedom shows you exactly how they feel about you.
> 
> I have always felt VERY attached to my partner, but not possessive. I would NEVER tell my partner what to do - I prefer to watch what HE does and decide what that means about his feelings for me. If I think he wants someone else, my response will always be - GO. I want a man who is happy and excited about ME...once he doesn't want me anymore, he should move on, and no matter how sad it makes me, I would let go of him (like I did).
> 
> ...



The mate guarding is more a male thing. My wife handles herself but also feels safe and wanted by me having an attitude to tell some dude this is my woman so step the hell off!

She was in radio sales and always dressed very professional but there were business owners that were forward and inappropriate. She would just not call on them any longer if they did not get the hint and shut it down. Then they just did not get to advertise with that station if they wanted. Sales people stuck to their own list.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> Same as Mrs. Conan.😉


Oh, you are very lucky then!!! Lol!


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

LisaDiane said:


> And I'm the midget in the front (I'm 5'0")...Lol!!!


Im 6'05" and my wife is just under 5'04". She makes up for it in attitude. 

She was upset and doing her best chihuahua impression one day and it hit me. I started laughing and she said "What are you laughing at! "
I just looked at her with a smile and said "I've shyt, bigger than you! 😂


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> Oh, you are very lucky then!!! Lol!


I love my little unit!😉


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Divinely Favored said:


> Im 6'05" and my wife is just under 5'04". She makes up for it in attitude.
> 
> She was upset and doing her best chihuahua impression one day and it hit me. I started laughing and she said "What are you laughing at! "
> I just looked at her with a smile and said "I've ****, bigger than you! 😂


I don't have much of an attitude, even if I'm angry...I might make really angry eyes, or stomp my feet, but it's not very impressive, I guess, when people have to look way down at me to see it...Lol!!


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> And I'm the midget in the front (I'm 5'0")...Lol!!!


It's not often I get to feel like an Amazon at 5'4 😀

I've heard tall women say it's annoying when tall men are with short women.

All I can say to that is one of them should've gotten to my 6'3 guy before me 😊


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I am over a foot taller than my wife. I like it, if I hold her my head goes right over hers. I think she likes my much larger physical size.

With that said I don’t think height is a characteristic I ever looked at or thought about in terms of whether I think a woman is attractive. Don’t really care at all.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

My friend's wife is 4'11" and Mrs. Conan loves visiting them.😋


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Why is he automatically in the creep stage?
> 
> Was Richard Gere on Pretty Woman a creep?
> How about Sean Connery in multiple movies?
> ...


When i was 23 my GF was 34.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> It's not often I get to feel like an Amazon at 5'4 😀
> 
> I've heard tall women say it's annoying when tall men are with short women.
> 
> All I can say to that is one of them should've gotten to my 6'3 guy before me 😊


Really tall ladies kinda have it rough. In general, most ladies prefer tall men, and most men prefer petite women. So a lot of the tallest guys end up with the most petite women. That leaves tall ladies with slim pickins.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> Really tall ladies kinda have it rough. In general, most ladies prefer tall men, and most men prefer petite women. So a lot of the tallest guys end up with the most petite women. That leaves tall ladies with slim pickins.


Call me slim.😁


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> Really tall ladies kinda have it rough. In general, most ladies prefer tall men, and most men prefer petite women. So a lot of the tallest guys end up with the most petite women. That leaves tall ladies with slim pickins.


Seems like that screws the short men as well.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> Seems like that screws the short men as well.


That it does. Probably why you see so many of them complaining online about how they can't get a date. One of my oldest, best friends is a 5'4 Asian guy and he has always struggled with the ladies. I'm about average height at 5'9-5'10 and even I have had women shorter than me call me short.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Enigma32 said:


> That it does. Probably why you see so many of them complaining online about how they can't get a date. One of my oldest, best friends is a 5'4 Asian guy and he has always struggled with the ladies. I'm about average height at 5'9-5'10 and even I have had women shorter than me call me short.


Seriously?!


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Seriously?!


It's not something that happens often but I've heard the comment a few times over the years. If you're a girl who has dated guys almost exclusively 6' or taller, I probably do seem a bit short.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> It's not something that happens often but I've heard the comment a few times over the years. If you're a girl who has dated guys almost exclusively 6' or taller, I probably do seem a bit short.


It’s the 4 sixes rule:

6 figure salary
6’ height
6” 🍆
6 pack abs


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Enigma32 said:


> That it does. Probably why you see so many of them complaining online about how they can't get a date. One of my oldest, best friends is a 5'4 Asian guy and he has always struggled with the ladies. I'm about average height at 5'9-5'10 and even I have had women shorter than me call me short.


I'm 5'10 and I have been called short as well. Not often, but it has happened.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> It’s the 4 sixes rule:
> 
> 6 figure salary
> 6’ height
> ...


So if you have more than a 6 in one of those categories does it even out a 5?😋


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I've had guys refer to me as small or little but I can't remember ladies doing it.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> It's not something that happens often but I've heard the comment a few times over the years. If you're a girl who has dated guys almost exclusively 6' or taller, I probably do seem a bit short.


That's just crazy!!!! At least at MY height, I can't even tell how tall a guy is over 5'8"...because anything above that is in the clouds to me!!!

Both of my partners were 6'2", and I had to be TWO STEPS up on the stairs to even get close to their lips for a kiss without reaching and bending!!! I think dating a shorter guy would be nice!!

But physical appearance is just NOT where I begin with my attraction - there has to be something about HIM that attracts me, and then almost anything about how he looks physically will be alluring. So I don't have any "specifications" with physical attributes. I just like MEN.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> It’s the 4 sixes rule:
> 
> 6 figure salary
> 6’ height
> ...


What if you like bananas instead of eggplant...??


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> What if you like bananas instead of eggplant...??


Has to be 6”+


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> It’s the 4 sixes rule:
> 
> 6 figure salary
> 6’ height
> ...


Man, if all ladies lived by this rule I would never get a date.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> So if you have more than a 6 in one of those categories does it even out a 5?😋


Sadly I think you need all four to make the standard. 

I don’t think I have it in me to get the 6 pack, I’m stuck in the 1-3 pack and I don’t think I’m going to make the sacrifice.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> Sadly I think you need all four to make the standard.
> 
> I don’t think I have it in me to get the 6 pack, I’m stuck in the 1-3 pack and I don’t think I’m going to make the sacrifice.


Welp, I'm stuck at 2 out of 4. I don't have the dedication/desire to get a 6 pack or go for limb lengthening surgery!!


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm capable of a six pack but I actually like my abs as is and I'm a whopping 5'10".

It might not add up on paper but I can kill it if I get an interview!😉


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> I'm capable of a six pack but I actually like my abs as is and I'm a whopping 5'10".
> 
> It might not add up on paper but I can kill it if I get an interview!😉


I am at the point where if we finish a workout and everyone rips off their shirt and starts flexing I might do it but not if anyone has a phone out.

Fortunately people always have a phone out.


----------



## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Really tall ladies kinda have it rough. In general, most ladies prefer tall men, and most men prefer petite women. So a lot of the tallest guys end up with the most petite women. That leaves tall ladies with slim pickins.



Most tall women on the street wind up looking more like Big Bird, than Maria Sharapova or Heidi Klum...

And big feet on a woman is kinda like a 1" dyck on a guy.....The big, snowshoe feet are just an immediate boner killer... 😂....and you wonder why the Chinese did that horrible foot binding process...


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

hamadryad said:


> Most tall women on the street wind up looking more like Big Bird, than Maria Sharapova or Heidi Klum...
> 
> And big feet on a woman is kinda like a 1" dyck on a guy.....The big, snowshoe feet are just an immediate boner killer... 😂....and you wonder why the Chinese did that horrible foot binding process...


Y'all are mean.


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

LisaDiane said:


> I don't have much of an attitude, even if I'm angry...I might make really angry eyes, or stomp my feet, but it's not very impressive, I guess, when people have to look way down at me to see it...Lol!!


My wife will get upset about something and griping and she will say, "Aren't you even scared of me?" I will say "Will it make you feel better if I act scared?"


lifeistooshort said:


> It's not often I get to feel like an Amazon at 5'4 😀
> 
> I've heard tall women say it's annoying when tall men are with short women.
> 
> All I can say to that is one of them should've gotten to my 6'3 guy before me 😊


My wife and i are perfect team. I get stuff fir her that is high, she gets stuff for me under the cabinet. Our personalities and skills are opposite each other.....but even our 14" height difference...body wise we fit together perfectly. It is like we are 2 puzzle pieces though i am a much larger piece.


----------



## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Y'all are mean.


I was just making a joke, but don't worry, there is tons of ragging on short guys, asian guys, you name it...to balance it out..


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Enigma32 said:


> Man, if all ladies lived by this rule I would never get a date.


Really ! Would have taken me out of running.....the rural area where i live only way to make 6 figures is Dr., lawyer or dealer.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> It’s the 4 sixes rule:
> 
> 6 figure salary
> 6’ height
> ...


My guy has 2 of these and I'm quite happy.

If I ranked them in order of my preference he has 1 and 2 😀


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> Really ! Would have taken me out of running.....the rural area where i live only way to make 6 figures is Dr., lawyer or dealer.


Kinda the same here really. The only people I know around here that have any money are people working in medical or business owners.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Enigma32 said:


> Kinda the same here really. The only people I know around here that have any money are people working in medical or business owners.


It’s probably adjusted based on where you live. I don’t think I made that much until I was around 27, so I had already been married for 3 years or so. The double edged sword is two of the four in the rule of 6’s are immutable; so if you fall on the right side of those you’re already halfway there “for free”.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Enigma32 said:


> Man, if all ladies lived by this rule I would never get a date.


Don't worry...THEY DON'T!!!


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Has to be 6”+


That's too much banana I think...

Lolol!!!!


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Don't worry...THEY DON'T!!!


Lisa do you value any of the rule of 6’s?


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> That's too much banana I think...
> 
> Lolol!!!!


I never liked bananas. I used to force myself to eat them for health reasons when I was running a lot of miles but I don’t think I have had one on purpose in over 20 years.


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> It’s the 4 sixes rule:
> 
> 6 figure salary
> 6’ height
> ...


How do you find any of these qualities out while dating??? I think I would be in love with a guy before I knew most of this stuff!!!


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Lisa do you value any of the rule of 6’s?


NO!!!! No ONE SINGLE THING on that list!!!


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> I never liked bananas. I used to force myself to eat them for health reasons when I was running a lot of miles but I don’t think I have had one on purpose in over 20 years.


Sometimes I will eat one in the morning after yoga, if I feel a little shaky, but I would NEVER eat an eggplant after yoga!!


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> NO!!!! No ONE SINGLE THING on that list!!!



To be clear, even though my guy has 2 of these they weren't necessities for me.

I don't require any of them if I like someone.

I just really liked HIM, and he just happens to have 2 😊


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> To be clear, even though my guy has 2 of these they weren't necessities for me.
> 
> I don't require any of them if I like someone.
> 
> I just really liked HIM, and he just happens to have 2 😊


You didn't even have to clarify that!!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> How do you find any of these qualities out while dating??? I think I would be in love with a guy before I knew most of this stuff!!!


I think all of them are obvious from visual cues only except the 🍆 unless the dude is stuffing with socks or is huge. 

Maybe the abs aren’t. All the amateur fighters in my gym have 6 packs but you wouldn’t necessarily know from looking at them in a t shirt.

With that said, somehow women know.

There was a girl in my high school who was one of the “heavy metal chicks”. Anyway she was asking me about one of the metal guys in school. She says to me, that guy, I’d **** him. I almost spit out my Coke. I’m like what?!!! She says I would grab those abs.

I’m thinking what abs?

Anyway I go and tell him later and he lifts his shirt up and 6 pack.

So this guy I knew him for maybe 4 years before that and had no idea but somehow she knew.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> I think all of them are obvious from visual cues only except the 🍆 unless the dude is stuffing with socks or is huge.
> 
> Maybe the abs aren’t. All the amateur fighters in my gym have 6 packs but you wouldn’t necessarily know from looking at them in a t shirt.
> 
> ...


Well, it's all foolishness, and none of those things guarantees happiness with a partner!!! But if those things are important to some people, I hope they find them! They just aren't what I am looking for in a partner.

I want a man who is in MY league, not some flashy hot-shot with tons of money that won't like anything about ME. And my favorite guy-body is one that is strong and feels good under my hands -- 6-packs or 3-packs just means he won't eat anything fun that I bake or he will be doing tons of situps when I want to go hiking...or something NO FUN like that!

As for the 6" eggplant...well, I just looked at my tape measure and, well...that looks like too much eggplant for me!!!

NOT ALL WOMEN care about those things...and I believe the men who think they do only really want the women who DO look for that stuff -- they don't want someone like ME...and that's FINE, of course!! I'm not going to be able to please every guy!!! But I ONLY want a man who WILL be pleased with me the way I am.

What have you men said over and over on here...?? Women need to stay in their lane, right? Well, I have NO problem staying in mine, and I know exactly which lane it is - and it's NOT the one with all those 6's in it!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> I never liked bananas. I used to force myself to eat them for health reasons when I was running a lot of miles but I don’t think I have had one on purpose in over 20 years.


Oh, just FYI...your body REALLY needs the potassium in bananas if you work out (or apple cider vinegar...Lol!) -- potassium is to soft tissue what calcium is to hard tissue!! You could always drink ACV instead... 🤢


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> or he will be doing tons of situps when I want to go hiking...or something NO FUN like that!


Sometimes on Sunday I will not do my formal workout and I will go with my wife to someplace we normally don’t hike and we will hike. (Still doing my 200 sit-ups anyway).



LisaDiane said:


> Oh, just FYI...your body REALLY needs the potassium in bananas if you work out (or apple cider vinegar...Lol!) -- potassium is to soft tissue what calcium is to hard tissue!! You could always drink ACV instead... 🤢


This is why I was eating them. I was running a lot of miles a week 40+ and I thought maybe I should eat something besides sausage and beer.

Now I can’t drink beer like that and I take Centrum.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> So if you have more than a 6 in one of those categories does it even out a 5?😋


I JUST got this!!!! Lolol!!!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Sometimes on Sunday I will not do my formal workout and I will go with my wife to someplace we normally don’t hike and we will hike. (Still doing my 200 sit-ups anyway).
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I wonder if the potassium in Centrum is bio-available though?

It used to be a joke in the supplement community that you could put one in a glass of water all day and it never dissolved.
Maybe they changed their formulation?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> I JUST got this!!!! Lolol!!!


😋


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Sometimes on Sunday I will not do my formal workout and I will go with my wife to someplace we normally don’t hike and we will hike. *(Still doing my 200 sit-ups anyway)*.


Hang on...you do that many sit-ups every day...and you still only have a 2 or 3-pack...???

See? NOT WORTH!!!!!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> I wonder if the potassium in Centrum is bio-available though?
> 
> It used to be a joke in the supplement community that you could put one in a glass of water all day and it never dissolved.
> Maybe they changed their formulation?


Right now I only take krill oil, a joint pill that looks like mostly turmeric, Centrum, and St. John’s Wort. I get my potassium measured a couple times a year because I am on meds that can affect it but has been good.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Hang on...you do that many sit-ups every day...and you still only have a 2 or 3-pack...???
> 
> See? NOT WORTH!!!!!


I do 200 minimum. Some days I do 400 worth.

I am not willing to give up eating and drinking so my body fat percent isn’t low enough. I have visible abs but it is not all perfectly separated. I kind of decided that I will keep doing the exercises but will not bend on the diet. So I am more like a Tyson Fury body long and lanky. Been working on pull ups and chin ups a lot this year and it has made a difference in terms of how I look; just those two simple motions.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> I do 200 minimum. Some days I do 400 worth.
> 
> I am not willing to give up eating and drinking so my body fat percent isn’t low enough. I have visible abs but it is not all perfectly separated. I kind of decided that I will keep doing the exercises but will not bend on the diet. So I am more like a Tyson Fury body long and lanky. Been working on pull ups and chin ups a lot this year and it has made a difference in terms of how I look; just those two simple motions.


Huh, well!!!! I do a plank at the end of my yoga by lowering my body into it (not a pushup), and when I started that a couple months ago, I could only hold it for 45 seconds, and NOW I'm up to almost 80 seconds!!!!

So there...I think I win!!!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> Huh, well!!!! I do a plank at the end of my yoga by lowering my body into it (not a pushup), and when I started that a couple months ago, I could only hold it for 45 seconds, and NOW I'm up to almost 80 seconds!!!!
> 
> So there...I think I win!!!


Nice!

I do planks too but normally on stupid instability torture objects.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Right now I only take krill oil, a joint pill that looks like mostly turmeric, Centrum, and St. John’s Wort. I get my potassium measured a couple times a year because I am on meds that can affect it but has been good.


I wonder if actually drinking ACV would help your joints - ligaments and tendons are soft tissue, and ACV helps your body metabolize sugar.

You should try it, I think!!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Nice!
> 
> I do planks too but normally on stupid instability torture objects.


Yikes!!! YOU WIN...Lol!!

I don't know if yoga makes me look different, but I love how good it makes me FEEL!!!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LisaDiane said:


> I wonder if actually drinking ACV would help your joints - ligaments and tendons are soft tissue, and ACV helps your body metabolize sugar.
> 
> You should try it, I think!!


Hmm… Maybe I can try the gummies. I need joint help. I have been planning on going surfing again in the near future so I have been working on my flexibility and it has been destroying me.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> Hmm… Maybe I can try the gummies. I need joint help. I have been planning on going surfing again in the near future so I have been working on my flexibility and it has been destroying me.


I think as a regular drinker, you might really benefit from the blood sugar help ACV gives. 

If you don't have an actual medical problem with your joints, it's usually diet.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> I think as a regular drinker, you might really benefit from the blood sugar help ACV gives.
> 
> If you don't have an actual medical problem with your joints, it's usually diet.


Talked me into trying it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> Sometimes on Sunday I will not do my formal workout and I will go with my wife to someplace we normally don’t hike and we will hike. (Still doing my 200 sit-ups anyway).
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Cantaloupe has more then bananas.....


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

hamadryad said:


> Most tall women on the street wind up looking more like Big Bird, than Maria Sharapova or Heidi Klum...
> 
> And big feet on a woman is kinda like a 1" dyck on a guy.....The big, snowshoe feet are just an immediate boner killer... 😂....and you wonder why the Chinese did that horrible foot binding process...


You know, big feet doesn't seem to bother hardly any guys unless they are foot fetishists to begin with, which all the women I know I would much rather filter out anyway, finding them creepy.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You know, big feet doesn't seem to bother hardly any guys unless they are foot fetishists to begin with, which all the women I know I would much rather filter out anyway, finding them creepy.



What is your experience? ..I mean, really, how many guys could you have possibly queried about this topic, to make such an absurd claim??

I mean, you hear women all the time complaining about how a lot of men have dainty feminine hands and how much of a turnoff it is...I don't blame them, either, I can't imagine how any woman would find small/weak hands on a guy attractive.....Should those women then be filtered out for fetishizing hand size in men??


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

hamadryad said:


> What is your experience? ..I mean, really, how many guys could you have possibly queried about this topic, to make such an absurd claim??
> 
> I mean, you hear women all the time complaining about how a lot of men have dainty feminine hands and how much of a turnoff it is...I don't blame them, either, I can't imagine how any woman would find small/weak hands on a guy attractive.....Should those women then be filtered out for fetishizing hand size in men??


This is getting kind of stray but just for kicks, my hands aren't big but I haven't had problem 1 attracting women.

I also love tall women and I don't care about their feet. 😉

I know some do but I'm really not sure how widespread it is.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

A woman's feet could be covered in green scales and have talons on the ends her toes and I still wouldn't notice - because that ain't where I'm looking. Same difference when some women get hung up on the fashion of their shoes. I've never noticed any shoes a woman has worn in my entire life. 

@LisaDiane - you said a couple of pages back that the men here are telling women to stay in their lane. That really sucks. I'm sorry you have felt that way here. I honestly haven't noticed people talking like that. Which threads?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Same difference when some women get hung up on the fashion of their shoes.


Katie on The Five a couple weeks ago had super hot stilettos on and I pointed out to my wife how her entire ensemble was super spicy. Mrs agreed very well dressed that day.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Katie on The Five a couple weeks ago had super hot stilettos on and I pointed out to my wife how her entire ensemble was super spicy. Mrs agreed very well dressed that day.


I have no idea what you just said.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

👍


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

hamadryad said:


> What is your experience? ..I mean, really, how many guys could you have possibly queried about this topic, to make such an absurd claim??
> 
> I mean, you hear women all the time complaining about how a lot of men have dainty feminine hands and how much of a turnoff it is...I don't blame them, either, I can't imagine how any woman would find small/weak hands on a guy attractive.....Should those women then be filtered out for fetishizing hand size in men??


Considering that the difference in shoe sizes is 1/4" - 1/3" depending on the model the country uses, it really isn't noticeable. But if having a size 6 shoe is preferable to a size 9 which is approximately 7/8" longer floats your boat, go for it. We all know how much emphasis you guys place on that extra inch. 

The typical shoe size for American women is 8-9. Yep, we're big-footed women.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

LATERILUS79 said:


> A woman's feet could be covered in green scales and have talons on the ends her toes and I still wouldn't notice - because that ain't where I'm looking. Same difference when some women get hung up on the fashion of their shoes. I've never noticed any shoes a woman has worn in my entire life.
> 
> @LisaDiane - you said a couple of pages back that the men here are telling women to stay in their lane. *That really sucks. I'm sorry you have felt that way here.* I honestly haven't noticed people talking like that. Which threads?


Oh no, I never meant it that way! I was meaning it a little tongue-in-cheek and teasing, although the point I was making about MYSELF I was serious about. If I had felt bad, it would have been quite clear, because I would have said, "that makes me feel bad"...Lol!!

I don't think anyone ever said it on here to anyone specifically either - the only times I've heard men say that, it was about women in the dating world, and it's not offensive to me at all. I like ALL the opinions, even if I disagree with them or can't resist challenging them sometimes! 

So there is no need for you to feel bad for me at all!!!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> The typical shoe size for American women is 8-9. Yep, we're big-footed women.


My wife is 8.5 women’s size. I buy her sneakers all the time because I buy them constantly and if I throw in a pair for her every once in a while she doesn’t get cross about it haha.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> Considering that the difference in shoe sizes is 1/4" - 1/3" depending on the model the country uses, it really isn't noticeable. But if having a size 6 shoe is preferable to a size 9 which is approximately 7/8" longer floats your boat, go for it. We all know how much emphasis you guys place on that extra inch.
> 
> The typical shoe size for American women is 8-9. Yep, we're big-footed women.


Ooh. I like it!

Another size matters topic.😆


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> Considering that the difference in shoe sizes is 1/4" - 1/3" depending on the model the country uses, it really isn't noticeable. But if having a size 6 shoe is preferable to a size 9 which is approximately 7/8" longer floats your boat, go for it. We all know how much emphasis you guys place on that extra inch.
> 
> The typical shoe size for American women is 8-9. Yep, we're big-footed women.


uhh,,,,ok... 😛


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

This lady has big feet. I care not.😋


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

hamadryad said:


> uhh,,,,ok... 😛
> View attachment 80110


Maybe this is all you have attracted?😉


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Maybe this is all you have attracted?😉



C'mon, buddy,,,you can do better than that... 😄


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

hamadryad said:


> C'mon, buddy,,,you can do better than that... 😄


I'm keeping it light. I've had enough hard hitting for a while.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

ConanHub said:


> This lady has big feet. I care not.😋
> View attachment 80113


She has feet? Who would notice?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Cooper said:


> She has feet? Who would notice?


You might if they were nasty 😅


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Mrs. Conan has tiny feet but I don't think I even figured that out for a few months after we moved in together.😉


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I’m not going to post a picture but to answer @LATERILUS79 if you image search Katie Pavlich her work shots she’s usually wearing stiletto heels, often in an offset color, so an off white dress with red heels. Super easy to notice they always have her on the left side of the camera in the front, probably not by accident.

My $0.02 I prefer extra 10-20lbs Katie to the fighting weight version.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> I’m not going to post a picture but to answer @LATERILUS79 if you image search Katie Pavlich her work shots she’s usually wearing stiletto heels, often in an offset color, so an off white dress with red heels. Super easy to notice they always have her on the left side of the camera in the front, probably not by accident.
> 
> My $0.02 I prefer extra 10-20lbs Katie to the fighting weight version.


She's really cute and definitely has that sex appeal look.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Mrs. Conan has tiny feet but I don't think I even figured that out for a few months after we moved in together.😉


Pretty sure my other half thought my feet were a lot bigger then they are because we knew each other in an athletic capacity before we started seeing each other and I always get my bike/running shoes too big.

I like the extra room because your feet swell during workouts. The younguns at the running store who just started running try to tell me I'm crazy but given that I've been at this for 32 years I think I know what I'm talking about.

A lot of times when people lose their toe nails after running its because their shoes are too small, but I digress.

Once we started dating bf realized my feet aren't that big.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

lifeistooshort said:


> Cantaloupe has more then bananas.....


Hey!!!! Good to know!!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

The one lady I dated that was 6'2" had big feet but she looked really good. When I first met her, she was trying to keep her weight down and hunched a lot.
I told her to gain some weight and keep her head high. She got up to 155 and stopped hunching and actually got a modeling gig.

I definitely wasn't paying attention to her feet.😆


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> A lot of times when people lose their toe nails after running its because their shoes are too small, but I digress.


I agree. 

I buy my boxing shoes 1 size bigger depending on the make because working off the ball of the foot on those I have messed up my toes and nails in “proper” shoes. 

I have very narrow feet my dad calls them “rat feet” so the only shoes I get for boxing are like cycling shoes where you can Velcro or ratchet strap them tight so the foot doesn’t slip. I also have Morton’s toe which makes sizing harder.

My dad knew a lot about foot care for distance running. He had ingrown nails a lot and was always using that acid crap to treat them. I had problems in college with them until I started cutting the nail flat. Since then really no issues.


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