# what NON-physical traits make a woman unattractive?



## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

Non-physical. Not quite as easy as it sounds IMO. to list the traits. I plan to let others go first.......need time to think


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Nagging. Pick pick pick pick.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

self centered. Doesn't have girl friends. Judgemental.


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## P51Geo1980 (Sep 25, 2013)

Apathy, lack of passion, lower-than-average intelligence, lack of a sense of humor, conversations about anything to do with celebrities...you get the drift
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> self centered. Doesn't have girl friends. Judgemental.


I think you've hit on a lot of them in this short little post. Yep- all of the s e are bright red flags. Here are a couple that come to my mind:

1. Unmitigated shallonness

Dedicated to clothes, fashion, makeup, beauty......leaving room for little else

2. Lacks empathy
If you understand how other people feel a lot better than she does....I think that's nothing less than ominous. Get away!


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

I despise two kinds of aptitudes in women, and I evade any intereaction when I find a woman have either of these aptitudes.

1.- the ones who never accept mistakes or fails of what they did or said, and I mean never (I am sure there are men that also have this horrible charestarestic), and even if everybody is telling them what they did is wrong they prefer to think that everybody is against them than the possiblity of they being wrong.

2.- the hyper feminist. you know the ones that are constantly accusing every man they encounter of being misogynist, and applies the double standart rule for everything, example:

- man grabs his woman *ss in public: he is a chauvinist pig that treats women as objects, and display his dominance by his conduct.

- woman grabs his man *ss in public: she is displaying a empowering aptitude that reflects confidence and equality in the reationship where she is not afraid to take the innitiative.

(and yes I actually have dealed with both types)


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## long_done (Jun 5, 2014)

Probably the same ones that make men unattractive as well:

-clinginess / co-dependency
-laziness
-overly jealous
-immature
-selfish
-irresponsible


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

This is a tough one. I find all women attractive. My heart and my mind scream out really loudly.


But since that woman is not the one I am married too and have children with...my soul shrugs them off like dirt.

I hate my soul...lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Black and white thinking. Things are either good or bad, no grey area.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

A woman without a sex drive no matter how 'nice' she is towards her partner might make the woman repulsive.

No observation skills to see how no sex affects her partner.

Indifference towards partners suffering in a sexless relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Convection (Apr 20, 2013)

I had to think about this one because most of the traits that come to mind are non-gender-specific. Either sex can be lazy, ignorant, rude, selfish, etc.

If I had to pick one thing, I would say it is the tendency to try to change a man into what they want, rather than accept him for what he is. Encouraging someone when they are working on bettering themselves is one thing. Nagging them when they opt not is another. An adult man is what he is; either accept him, faults and all, or look elsewhere. Stop looking at us as "projects" that need fixing.

Everyone has issues. In my case, none of them are debilitating, threatening my employment potential, security, safety, or social skills. They are just facets of a complex being, raised by imperfect creatures in imperfect environments. But on the whole, I am pretty happy with who I am. So take me as I am or move on. I'll offer the same courtesy and it has always puzzled me why so many women refused to do so. Past girlfriends would start in and it was an immediate attraction-killer.

As with most of these things, this also can go either way between the sexes, but empirically, I have seen it more coming from women. YMMV.

Lady Convection did it right. She told me early on that she recognized my character flaws but she could live with them because she loved the rest of me - and that if I wanted to change my foibles, that was on me. She has lived up to that through our whole marriage. Major points for her right there.

ETA: Or if that is too long, I'll echo Bandit. Stop nagging.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Any incompatible (with me) personality, behavior, values, attitude, or belief issue.

So, there could be a lot!


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## Sunburn (Jul 9, 2012)

- Lack of curiosity


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Well, since you asked. Too much independence. I'm not saying I want a damsel in distress, but at the same time if there really isn't anything I can do for you then I can't and shouldn't be with you. I need my woman to need me. Being a strong woman does not mean that you don't need a man ever. I think some people have gone a bit too far with the independent thing.

The other thing that would make me run away is if she were too materialistic. There are an awful lot of women out there with high end hand bags and Christian Louboutin shoes (even worse if they are knock offs!!!). If all of your money is going to your wardrobe that's a red flag for me. Especially if you're in an occupation that does not support that kind of spending.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

1.Devoid of femininity
2.Lack of compassion
3.Shallow
4.Vulgar 
5.Lack's sense of humor


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

A woman with no ambition.

Lazy

Doesn't take care of herself

Doesn't exercise

Doesn't go to the dentist

No goals, No hobby's, No interest

Passivity... Avoids conflict at all costs

Doesn't express her needs or desires. 

Don't get me started on a woman who doesn't shave her legs..( I know that's a physical trait)


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Trickster said:


> A woman with no ambition.
> 
> Lazy
> 
> ...


Nice, does your W still read on here? I'm sure she'd love this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> Nice, does your W still read on here? I'm sure she'd love this.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wife has no interest in TAM.

Wife knows its been 4 YEARS now since her last dental visit

She jokes about being too lazy to shave before we get intimate

She doesn't go swimming because she would have to shave. 

She knows she has no idea what she wants for a career... One that pays. She is 47...

She knows she doesn't know how to cook. So when I am home... I always make dinner.

She knows she has no interests, other than our daughter. She is being a martyr for putting her life her interests, her goals are on hold for our daughter. That's not true... She is just pure lazy....She has time.

She tells me all the time she has to lose weight... 50 lbs or so....she admits to be I lazy.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

manticore said:


> I despise two kinds of aptitudes in women, and I evade any intereaction when I find a woman have either of these aptitudes.
> 
> 1.- the ones who never accept mistakes or fails of what they did or said, and I mean never (I am sure there are men that also have this horrible charestarestic), and even if everybody is telling them what they did is wrong they prefer to think that everybody is against them than the possiblity of they being wrong.
> 
> ...


I have never come across ass grabbing as feminist empowerment. That is interesting! Is this something that you have observed as prevalent? Regardless, I agree that hyper feminists (hyper anything ISTS in fact) are pretty unappealing.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Convection said:


> I had to think about this one because most of the traits that come to mind are non-gender-specific. Either sex can be lazy, ignorant, rude, selfish, etc.
> 
> If I had to pick one thing, I would say it is the tendency to try to change a man into what they want, rather than accept him for what he is.


I was thinking about this wrt to the what do you do about your man's annoying man habits. I did this early in our relationship. I got my head handed to me on a platter in a usenet group. (Dating myself.) And I had to agree (after they dope slapped me back to the stone age to get through to me) that they were right. What if I changed him into someone else? I married HIM because I loved HIM. And this does seem to be a uniquely female behavior.



> Encouraging someone when they are working on bettering themselves is one thing. Nagging them when they opt not is another. An adult man is what he is; either accept him, faults and all, or look elsewhere. Stop looking at us as "projects" that need fixing.


DH and I had an interesting conversation recently. We were talking about accepting each other. He was like why do you tolerate when I don't agree with what you are asking me to do? When I am just like silently FU, I am not going to do that. My response was that that IS the essence of effective limit setting. If I am asking him to do something that he is not engaged in doing, that is MY problem.



> Everyone has issues.


Well. Except me. 



> In my case, none of them are debilitating, threatening my employment potential, security, safety, or social skills. They are just facets of a complex being, raised by imperfect creatures in imperfect environments. But on the whole, I am pretty happy with who I am. So take me as I am or move on. I'll offer the same courtesy and it has always puzzled me why so many women refused to do so. Past girlfriends would start in and it was an immediate attraction-killer.
> 
> As with most of these things, this also can go either way between the sexes, but empirically, I have seen it more coming from women. YMMV.
> 
> ...


Love your wife! Keep it up!


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Trickster said:


> Wife has no interest in TAM.
> 
> Wife knows its been 4 YEARS now since her last dental visit
> 
> ...


Trickster man, I've read a lot of your posts but never replied. Why do you stay? I'm not pro-divorce by any means. But you have so many complaints about your wife I wonder why you stay. If what you post about is only a small part of your relationship I understand why you stay. But if this is really how you feel I don't get it.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> Well, since you asked. Too much independence.  I'm not saying I want a damsel in distress, but at the same time if there really isn't anything I can do for you then I can't and shouldn't be with you. I need my woman to need me. Being a strong woman does not mean that you don't need a man ever. I think some people have gone a bit too far with the independent thing.


I hear what you're saying. I have slightly different take on independence though.

If a woman has to have "a man; some man; the best option man" then I'm not the guy for her. Now if she's happy being single but even happier with me then count me in. That way I know she's with me because she wants it and not due to fear of being alone.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

ReformedHubby said:


> Trickster man, I've read a lot of your posts but never replied. Why do you stay? I'm not pro-divorce by any means. But you have so many complaints about your wife I wonder why you stay. If what you post about is only a small part of your relationship I understand why you stay. But if this is really how you feel I don't get it.


Excuse the very brief HJ...

I talked about many reasons before in my other many threads, from financial and not wanting to be away from my daughter and the fact that my SIL is an attorney... I don't want to turn this into the "War of the Roses" I don't want to hurt my wife. Maybe its fear of never finding love because deep down I still feel broken in many ways...My wife stuck around knowing my dark side and continued to be there when my dad died, one brother killing himself and another brother who died from AIDS...

Bottom line... I love her. She is the mother of my child...I want her to be able to financially take care of herself when we do eventually D.

Since I had one foot out the door, she is more affectionate and loving, we have better sex, and she has a job. The rest is up to her. She has to want to make the changes to improve herself and get some interests in life so we have something to talk about. 

We went out for dinner tonight with our daughter.. For the first time in 22 years, she sat next to me in the booth while keeping her hand on my thigh.

Something is changing.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Manipulative

Passive Aggressive 

Expects Me To Bring All The Fun/Energy

Won't Make Any Decisions But Is Happy To Be Critical 

Materialistic

Accepts/Expects Attention But Gives None/Little

Negativity

Expects Me To Be Her Girlfriend

Talking At Me Not Have A Discussion With Me

Giving Me No Sense That I Am Important In Her Life


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Not a scientific observation, but I noticed over on the women's section there is a thread called something like "what makes a man unattractive?".


It is 34 pages long.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

High-maintenance, flighty, not grounded at all. Being overly obsessed with clothes and bags and shoes, talking like a character out of Sex and the City, being into every fad diet, spirituality and self-help concept.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

John Lee said:


> High-maintenance, flighty, not grounded at all. Being overly obsessed with clothes and bags and shoes, talking like a character out of Sex and the City, being into every fad diet, spirituality and self-help concept.


Theres women where all the pop-culture stuff is serious to them. Like a religion or way of life. But I know what your saying.

Back before TAM and males who where blown out, we used to go after women who sparked our passion and not worried about over analyzing them or where it might go. Still there were some turnoffs, but if their sexual attraction was huge enough in our minds we would minimize it, not realizing this is how we would get blown out in the end.


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## bABI (Apr 29, 2014)

consistent nagging
Being too independent
Insensitive
Lazy
Dirty
Loud-mouthed/brash
Lies

Any of these in a woman, and i'll speed off! Can't be with such a woman, no matter how much beauty or intelligence she has.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

Shallow-ness is probably my number one turn off.

No sense of humor...can't laugh at things....or worse, misinterprets humor.

Women who are waiting to take offense. 

Laziness or lacking a sense of hardwork...I have been totally turned off by women who work kosh 9 to 5's, yet use up half of the workday on personal business, personal calls, two hour lunches, or just b.s'ing it, show up late, and constantly calling off...and yet still have a attitude of entitlement...and are out the door right on time.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

FormerSelf said:


> Women who are waiting to take offense.


Yes that one's a biggy.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

I guess I just put into a general attitude category. 

Bad attitude, they always blame someone else, nothing is good enough, they are perfect and not aren’t afraid to tell you. The world owes them. They look for reasons to fail

Good attitude, willing to face lifes problems head on, willing to listen and see other points of view, understand they ARENT perfect. They look for reasons to succeed.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

STUPIDITY!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Forest said:


> Not a scientific observation, but I noticed over on the women's section there is a thread called something like "what makes a man unattractive?".
> 
> 
> It is 34 pages long.


Most of it is fighting bc certain people jumped in and stirred up drama. Now it's just a few ladies and a few dudes fighting about the same dumb sh*t they've been fighting about over and over across multiple threads. Running around in circles.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Most of it is fighting bc certain people jumped in and stirred up drama. Now it's just a few ladies and a few dudes fighting about the same dumb sh*t they've been fighting about over and over across multiple threads. Running around in circles.


Yep. I wonder how long it will take before they realize they will NEVER agree or persuade each other. Or maybe they just like doing it for sport...


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## BostonBruins32 (Nov 2, 2013)

-needing attention (especially boy crazy)
-pessimism


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## Lordhavok (Mar 14, 2012)

Loud mouth cussing, big turn off to me to hear some chick spewing obscenities like vomit. Several here that do that with that feminist drivel.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Lordhavok said:


> Loud mouth cussing, big turn off to me to hear some chick spewing obscenities like vomit. Several here that do that with that feminist drivel.


f**kin right. I <3 my curse words


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Entitlement, "I'm beautiful, worship me."

Slovenly ill dressed women, like some of those Walmart women I've seen pictures of.

I don't care if you aren't regarded as conventionally pretty or beautiful there is nothing more attractive to me than a woman who has made the effort to look nice.

And I don't mean put on a fashion parade, just take care of your appearance. I take care to try and look good, why shouldn't 'she'.


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

It's difficult to put it in words...you just kind of know a 'cute' vs. 'ugly' personality when you see it. And everything in between.

The best way I can put it is that a woman who takes herself too seriously is a big turn-off.

A cute personality can go a long way to improve physical appearance and an ugly personality can really bring a good looking woman down many notches.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

couple said:


> The best way I can put it is that a woman who takes herself too seriously is a big turn-off.


I'm a woman, but wanted to chime in to say that this is SO true, for both genders.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Lordhavok said:


> Loud mouth cussing, big turn off to me to hear some chick spewing obscenities like vomit. Several here that do that with that feminist drivel.


What has swearing got to do with feminism.? 

Weird.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Late to this party but anyway...

Those who seem to think that giving birth makes them superior to men. You've heard the joke, "If men had to give birth, the human race would die out"? Super obnoxious. 

Those who say that men are big babies when they get sick. 

I get it. Women can be tough. I agree completely. Claiming that their sex makes them better = delusional and pathetic.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

VermisciousKnid said:


> Late to this party but anyway...
> 
> Those who seem to think that giving birth makes them superior to men. You've heard the joke, "If men had to give birth, the human race would die out"? Super obnoxious.
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

Women who say, "I am a woman...I can multi-task". Especially when they actually can't.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Trickster said:


> Women who say, "I am a woman...I can multi-task". Especially when they actually can't.


Women can ***** about something an


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Blogging the minutiae of your life on Facebook. Seriously, I don't care that your laundry is done and the kids are FINALLY down for a nap.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

For those men who mentioned too-independent and un-feminine as being unattractive, can you give some examples of what those characteristics look like? I ask because I have been accused of both and don't understand what was meant.

For example, I dress like a woman, take care of my skin/hair, wear make up, etc. but still have been labeled as not feminine enough. Not by strangers mind you, but by male relationship partners. It has happened more than once so it must be me. :scratchhead:

Same with independence, been labeled as such by more than one male partner.

Just seeking opinions and understanding, not trying to be combative.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Red Sonja said:


> For those men who mentioned too-independent and un-feminine as being unattractive, can you give some examples of what those characteristics look like? I ask because I have been accused of both and don't understand what was meant.
> 
> For example, I dress like a woman, take care of my skin/hair, wear make up, etc. but still have been labeled as not feminine enough. Not by strangers mind you, but by male relationship partners. It has happened more than once so it must be me. :scratchhead:
> 
> ...


I have a theory that being ultra competitive gets labeled incorrectly as being too independent. After all, partners in constant competition can be annoying to both. Two self sufficient individuals with common goals however can be a great thing. 

I don't know about "not feminine enough" part. They could be full of crap you know. But here's a few things that a lot of guys might notice. 
- if you see a mouse and squish it instead of screaming. Same with snakes and spiders.
- if you open a can of chef boyardee and eat it straight out of the can cold.
- if you eat anything from a gas station.
- if you don't complain about having to hover over public toilets. Paper on the seat isn't enough.
- if prissy girls annoy the crap out of you.
- if you say a word when belching and think it's funny or belch on purpose.
- if you don't mind letting one rip. Meaning a loud fart.
- if you don't keep somewhat groomed in most every location.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Red Sonja said:


> For those men who mentioned too-independent and un-feminine as being unattractive, can you give some examples of what those characteristics look like? I ask because I have been accused of both and don't understand what was meant.
> 
> For example, I dress like a woman, take care of my skin/hair, wear make up, etc. but still have been labeled as not feminine enough. Not by strangers mind you, but by male relationship partners. It has happened more than once so it must be me. :scratchhead:
> 
> ...


Taking it at face value, being independent isn't a negative in my mind. Now if there's more to that than meets the eye, it could also mean that you always do things your way or you aren't likely to compromise when there's a disagreement. 

Not feminine. There's likely to be a wide range of opinions in this. Assuming that you don't engage in behaviors that are typical of guys - belching loudly, farting... maybe you're more aloof than most women and keep your emotions more in check? I find it hard to believe that your style of hair, makeup and dress is enough to make you un-feminine.


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

control freaks
complainers

my ex used to beeyotch because shed ask me to do something 10 times...um, if I ask you twice and it aint done, then I do it myself...I aing yer assistant

I used to tell my ex "stop being Captain Kirk, sitting in your captain chair barking out orders and missions you have no intention of doing yoursefl"

marriage is supposed to be about comprimise, but usually the men do most of that..what is that old saying "men marry a woman hoping she wont change, a woman marries a man hoping she can change him"...so fricking true, every relation**** Ive had the woman tried to mold me into her perfect man...phhhhhttttt


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> I don't know about "not feminine enough" part. They could be full of crap you know. But here's a few things that a lot of guys might notice.
> - if you see a mouse and squish it instead of screaming. Same with snakes and spiders.
> - if you open a can of chef boyardee and eat it straight out of the can cold.
> - if you eat anything from a gas station.
> ...


uh oh...


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> For those men who mentioned too-independent and un-feminine as being unattractive, can you give some examples of what those characteristics look like? I ask because I have been accused of both and don't understand what was meant.
> 
> For example, I dress like a woman, take care of my skin/hair, wear make up, etc. but still have been labeled as not feminine enough. Not by strangers mind you, but by male relationship partners. It has happened more than once so it must be me. :scratchhead:
> 
> ...


I don't think anyone here can tell you what your specific partners meant by that.


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## WillinTampa (Jun 18, 2014)

1) Conceit 
2) Humorlessness
3) Materialistic
4) Bitterness.
5) Man-hungry
6) no interests.
7) no sense of adventure. 
8) Moodiness
9) Entitled attitude
10) lack of compassion

...and many more...


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Needy
Uptight
Boring
Dispassionate
Cynical
Lacking a sense of adventure / fearful
Lacking interests
Lacking ambition
Complainer / whiney
Self-righteous / Judgmental
Depressive / Pessimistic / Negative nancy
Lethargic / non-physical / non-athletic / Homebody / Couch potato


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Red Sonja said:


> Same with independence, been labeled as such by more than one male partner.
> 
> Just seeking opinions and understanding, not trying to be combative.


Do you hate asking him to open a jar for you?


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Ah, got some more...

Excessive pleasing or lacking selfish interest.
Uncommunicative. Expects me to read her mind, or rarely has anything to say.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

John Lee said:


> I don't think anyone here can tell you what your specific partners meant by that.


Of course not, I was just asking for general male opinion because when I asked a specific partner the only answer I ever heard was "you just are".

Oh and, prissy girls or what I call high-maintenace women do drive me up the wall. I don't vocalize my opinions about them though, I just avoid them.

Spiders, snakes, etc ... no squishing or killing, I just return them to the wild where they came from.

I always ask for help when I need it ... like with jar lids and such.

I am not a competitive person, except perhaps with myself.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Red Sonja said:


> I am not a competitive person, except perhaps with myself.


Red, 
I think this last line sums it up very well.
You are an Alpha female.
Absolutely nothing's wrong with you , but some men are unable to deal with your level of accomplishment and sophistication.
Never second guess yourself , nor attempt to change yourself to meet someone else's standard.

Your life's experiences have made you into what you are and always be proud of it.

You are the real stuff not any fake sh!t !

How many women do you personally know have achieved what you have in life?
How many men do you know to have achieved the same as you have in life?

That's why some of them are intimidated. But that's their problem , because you can't " undo " high achievement.


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## options20 (May 20, 2014)

a woman who curses me out has no respect for herself or anyone else a woman who is trashy not well educated etc...


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