# What questions should I ask?



## depressedandexhausted (Aug 24, 2015)

Alright I am going to be seeing the attorney tomorrow. I have been spending the last few hours preparing. I have all the dates for birthdays, tax numbers, all legal forms. I think I am pretty solid on this part.

Now for questions.

I have a few set up already.

Here is our situation.
I am 30 years old. I have been married to her for 5. She has had a continuing EA for the last two years, despite telling me it was over. I have proof in the form of her texts from her phone. I also have a few pictures of her computer screen. One of them is talking about sending sex pics to each other.
I am a stay at home father. I cook, clean and care for our kids. One of our kids is mine from another marriage. On top of me being a stay at home father I also bring in twice as much as she does through my military disability. So not only am I the bread winner but I am also a homemaker.
She has been working at her clerk job since 2013. She makes over minimum wage. She is trying to fight to take my daughter every weekend plus fridays. Since I dont work I feel I will get enough time to be with my daughter. I am ok with this, but I am not ok with paying her for anything. I want to also have a sat or sunday once a month so I can take her to do stuff. I feel like I have been used enough, and I will not let her use our child to get money. 
What is the likelihood of me paying child support even if I take her longer than 50% a week. 

I also dont have an issue with helping pay for extracurricular activities, I just dont want to have to hand my soon to be ex wife money.

This also goes for alimony, what should I expect? What questions would be good to ask? How can I protect myself?


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

There's a lot to ask. Starting with how does a divorce work in your state (step by step). Obviously ask about alimony (probably won't have to pay it for a short term marriage with her working long term) and child support laws. Ask about how you can do mediation instead of a court battle (saves money). Start getting a list of all assets/debts you had before the marriage and what you acquired during the marriage. Start thinking about a parenting plan that includes school, holidays, expenses, etc. 

I asked my attorney what she charged per hour, how long it takes, does my spouse need a lawyer and if so how does that change the process (we agreed on our asset split by ourselves early on, so I just hired my attorney to do the paperwork and file it), what is common in a parenting plan, etc. After she wrote everything up I looked at it very closely and sent back changes a few times until it was perfect. Don't anticipate your attorney will do everything right the first time, so take the time to read it. Also you need to ask what the retainer is and what their policy is on billing (or refunding extra retainer funds). 

If you are talking with your wife, now would be a good time to see what you two can agree on together so you save money. I told my wife that I wanted to save as much money as possible in this process so we could split it, rather than pay it to an attorney. She agreed and the process has been very amicable so far.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Lot has to do with your income being non-garnishable as in from a judgement. As far as child support or alimony, that is a good question to ask a lawyer. From what I have read, she may have to pay you child support with her holding a job. Make sure you get primary custody of at least 51%. She may end up paying you child support and alimony. Confer with a lawyer to make sure


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