# Divorce process how to do it? Physically/Emontionally



## UnluckyOne (May 2, 2017)

I'm going to cut to the chase. Married for 8 years have one son 3 years old and a house. I make double of her pay and just about cover all expenses. Anyone in my situation go through divorce in similar situation ? I know the house we will have to sell because no way she can afford it, she may even have to sell her luxury Lexis I bought her.

What I want to know is where is the line drawn as far as child support and spousal support? I live in CA and I know each state is different. But, how much will be cut from my side? Also what about all pending credit cards and debt who's responsible for that?

I dont even want to consider a lawyer I think we can work on a written agreement and get it signed in court so want to have everything prepared before I pull the trigger.


Thank you !


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## Zanne (Dec 7, 2012)

California is a community property state which means everything is split 50/50, whether asset or debt. Since you make more money, you may end up paying spousal support to offset the amount of debt that lands in your wife's column. The goal is for both of you to live as close to the lifestyle you have now as possible. Kind of a joke, really. Have you considered mediation? It's a cheaper way to go and you at least have someone with legal knowledge to help you and your wife through a collaborative divorce.

Does your wife have any idea that you want a divorce? Child support and spousal support are complicated matters and your son is very young. If I was your wife, I would want someone on my side to consider my needs and the needs of my child for the future. My understanding is that there is no spousal calculator to determine the amounts you will pay. You can find calculators online to give you an idea, but it is a complicated and "secret" process and in the end, it is up to the judge. As for child support, you can get an idea here: https://www.cse.ca.gov/ChildSupport...f1ae-002e-42c3-8845-e07b11d43a0d&conv_id=none

Lastly, in California, there is a six month "cooling off" period; basically a waiting period. A judge cannot even look at your papers until six months after you have filed. This is just basic information I have gathered as a resident of California for my own divorce. There is plenty of information on your court's website, elsewhere online, even other forums such as dadsdivorce.com.


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## AtMyEnd (Feb 20, 2017)

I think CA is the same as NY, everything is split 50/50. Any debt would have to be paid off mostly likely with the money from the sale of the house and whatever other savings there is, and whatever's left gets divided equally. The car would most likely stay hers unless she can't afford it but the title would be written over to her in the divorce anyway so any debt from that shouldn't fall back on you. As far as child support you'd have to look it up, NY is pretty much a fixed 17% of the non custodial parents income for one child. The judge is allowed to to award more if sees fit depending on the circumstances. Then being that you're the bread winner, there's the alimony. That one is pretty much entirely up to the courts. I know in NY if the divorce is uncontested alimony is granted for 6-8 months after the divorce and then it's over. If you can draw up your own agreement the way you want it and get her to sign it that's the way to go but I still think the courts can still change it if they feel it's unfair.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

UnluckyOne said:


> I'm going to cut to the chase. Married for 8 years have one son 3 years old and a house. I make double of her pay and just about cover all expenses. Anyone in my situation go through divorce in similar situation ? I know the house we will have to sell because no way she can afford it, she may even have to sell her luxury Lexis I bought her.
> 
> What I want to know is where is the line drawn as far as child support and spousal support? I live in CA and I know each state is different. But, how much will be cut from my side? Also what about all pending credit cards and debt who's responsible for that?
> 
> ...


California has a very good court self help site. Here is a link to their child support calculator.

https://www.cse.ca.gov/ChildSupport/cse/guidelineCalculator?conv_id=GuidelineCalculationConversation


Court self help site:

Divorce or Separation - divorce_or_separation_selfhelp



.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

California is a community property state.

Assets and debt are divided 50/50 unless the two of you agree differently. I did some work on a divorce in California. Some of the divorce was settled via a mediator. Since he appeared to earn more than she did (she lied about her income), he ended up with all the debt.

In California, for a short term marriage (under 10 years), alimony can be for up to 50% of the length of the marriage. 

You can estimate alimony with the 40/50 calculation. 40% of the higher income, minus 50% of the lower income.


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