# When Enough is just Enough!!



## trinmir (Aug 25, 2014)

Good morning!! I am new here and I'm in need of some support right now. My husband and i have been married for 3 years and together for 4 years.

I have never been done so wrong in my entire life. i feel like this whole marriage was some kind of punishment. but I only have myself to blame for allowing it for so long.

This man has cheated on me so much with the same woman that it has me feeling like crap and used. This woman would constantly call my cellular looking for my husband because of some promise that he had made to her. They have been together for 12 years and I am his second marriage (she is not his first wife). So basically, he has gotten married on this woman twice. It was kind of hard at first to believe that he actually had something with her because he came home every night. Boy o boy did I learn the hard way that coming home every night means nothing.

We had broken up over this woman for about 5 months and I took him back (not to mention all the times we have had short term break ups over this). When we got back together things seemed really weird. He would come home late and on the weekends he would be gone from about 8 in the morning until midnight without even calling or anything. So I complained about it because we were spending no time together (not that we did much of that anyway) and he tried to stop. I had this gut feeling that he was still seeing her and my gut feeling was right.

Our anniversary just passed and he knew there was no way of escaping that day because i took off of work. we were together all day and night and here comes the phone call from her the next morning. She said that she had been seeing him all week and I knew that she was not lying because she told me what color underwear he had on the day before our anniversary. I knew it!! i just couldn't prove it. He was so distant with me, he would not make love to me and he didn't even want me to touch him. he ended up cursing her out again like he'd always do but it meant nothing, because he'd end right back up with her again.

Foolishly, I stayed and for about two weeks my soul just didn't feel right. He just does't have it in him to appease my mind from all of this. after a week went by, he just couldn't take it anymore and he left the home at 10:30a and came home at 3a. I was so upset with him!! So he tells me that he was out so late because he ran into my ex (which was way before his time) and he figured that my ex had called me and told me where he was. and i blasted him so bad for trying to turn things around on me that he packed and left.

I have had enough and I just need to get past this but it's so hard because we are married. Every time I took him back, I tried desperately to put this behind me, (without his help) but it was so hard with his constant mood changes, not wanting to do anything together and the constant sneakiness with his phone and just him being sneaky period. I never hounded him with my insecurities because I knew that eventually that would make him tired and leave. But I didn't have to because our happiness was always short lived anyway. He would be alright for close to a week and then he's back in his moods again. And then here comes the mistress again.

Somehow, I feel like I really meant nothing to him because he cannot let this woman go. I know he married me and I know that he loves me but it's just not enough to let her go. And the funny thing in all of this is, he seems to think that he put in so much work for this marriage hahaha.

I definitely have no intentions on going back EVER!!!!!!

Thanks for reading.


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## HeartofHearts (Aug 25, 2014)

I know it must be hard. But the longer you stay, the longer you're condoning being cheated on. It's time to go. The mistress is a lost cause because it's all she'll ever be. Let them have each other. Oh, but he doesn't want her now does he!?! He just wants to sleep with her when he pleases! Let it go!!!!


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## WatchmansMoon (Mar 6, 2013)

I'm so sorry! There's something to be said for tough love. I hope you can come to a place of healing and peace as you work through all these emotions and pain. HUGS to you!

~ Seek the Light ~


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## trinmir (Aug 25, 2014)

It's funny that you ask that and I know that it is a rhetorical question. ("but he doesn't want her now does he?") The funny thing is, he was still seeing her when we broke for the 5 months. they never stopped seeing each other. of course he says that it's not true but she knew too much. and even if she didn't know anything, my guts were telling me that he was because when he came back, he wasn't as loving and compassionate as someone would be who was separated for so long. He begged and begged to come back but when we did, it felt like he could have took it or left it.



HeartofHearts said:


> I know it must be hard. But the longer you stay, the longer you're condoning being cheated on. It's time to go. The mistress is a lost cause because it's all she'll ever be. Let them have each other. Oh, but he doesn't want her now does he!?! He just wants to sleep with her when he pleases! Let it go!!!!


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## trinmir (Aug 25, 2014)

Thank you.




WatchmansMoon said:


> I'm so sorry! There's something to be said for tough love. I hope you can come to a place of healing and peace as you work through all these emotions and pain. HUGS to you!
> 
> ~ Seek the Light ~


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## HeartofHearts (Aug 25, 2014)

trinmir said:


> It's funny that you ask that and I know that it is a rhetorical question. ("but he doesn't want her now does he?") The funny thing is, he was still seeing her when we broke for the 5 months. they never stopped seeing each other. of course he says that it's not true but she knew too much. and even if she didn't know anything, my guts were telling me that he was because when he came back, he wasn't as loving and compassionate as someone would be who was separated for so long. He begged and begged to come back but when we did, it felt like he could have took it or left it.



I have a strong disdain for men like that! It's not fair to the women who try to love them!


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