# Out of control



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

My husband is a diabetic and it's out of control. I've begged pleaded and have done just about anything to get him to choose health. He rages when his blood sugar is high. I've had enough of putting up with this. Went to the doc with him told him I'm thinking of divorce very seriously. He told me to ignore his moods. How can you ignore someone that is raging? My stomach twists constantly when he's around. We had a bad night last night I don't like who I am with him anymore.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

Virginia Patricia said:


> How can you ignore someone that is raging?


- watch TV
- go out with friends
- exercise
- take a walk
- go to a movie 
- go for a drive
- walk the dog
- if you don't have a dog go adopt one


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

You have the right to feel safe and comfortable in your own home, and not be afraid of your own spouse.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

Virginia Patricia said:


> My husband is a diabetic and it's out of control. I've begged pleaded and have done just about anything to get him to choose health. He rages when his blood sugar is high. I've had enough of putting up with this. Went to the doc with him told him I'm thinking of divorce very seriously. He told me to ignore his moods. How can you ignore someone that is raging? My stomach twists constantly when he's around. We had a bad night last night I don't like who I am with him anymore.


My husband is a type 1 diabetic, and is prone to rages as well. I've never considered that the two could be related. 

For me, when my husband gets into one of his rages (he breaks things, slams his fists, yells, punches walls, etc.), I take the kids and leave whatever part of the house he's in. It's scary, and I feel your pain on this. I wish I had words of wisdom to help you out, but alas, it's the VERY reason why I am here as well.


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## cosmicblu (Oct 18, 2011)

Those rages are exactly how the abuse pattern started in the early years of mine as well. nothing directed AT anyone, trying to fix something broken etc... always saying "your being oversensitive, im not hurting anyone!" When indeed they really are, chipping away at your nerves ever so slowly. How do we get them to realize the impact of even these "smaller" incidents?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

cosmicblu said:


> Those rages are exactly how the abuse pattern started in the early years of mine as well. nothing directed AT anyone, trying to fix something broken etc... always saying "your being oversensitive, im not hurting anyone!" When indeed they really are, chipping away at your nerves ever so slowly. How do we get them to realize the impact of even these "smaller" incidents?


How do you get them to realize the impact? By implementing consequences. Same as any other negative behavior like inappropriate texts to opposite sex friends, watching porn to the detriment of your sex life, excessive drinking, etc. Set a boundary, a consequence for not abiding by that boundary, and follow through with it if the behavior happens again. Until the consequences for those actions are enough to impact them, the bad behavior will continue.

And yes, I realize this is uncomfortable to you. It may mean the breakup of your marriage, if it escalates that far. Only you can decide what those boundaries and consequences should be.

C


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## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

The thing is I've not really set boundary's before. But now suddenly I'm at the end. I feel bad i should have been firmer about things before and moved out or done something. Now I think if I move out and feel the peace of my own place I might not ever go back. It will hurt me deeply to watch him go even futher down but maybe just maybe it's me and he will suddenly be happy with me gone. Who knows? I just am so ready for some peaceful days I haven't had any is such a long time I don't even know what peace is.


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## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

The rages can be from the diabetes. He is most likely in denial. Bug time. Some counseling is in order. Or maybe to a hospital or diabetic clinic so he can see some amputations, etc. Its not pretty. 

I wish you luck......


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