# New to this site, need some advice...



## Urjustnvus (Feb 20, 2009)

My Husband and I had a great relationship in the beginning. He was everything I could have dreamed of and more. He loved my kids (I had 2 at the time) helped me out around the house and treated me with respect. We were married in July and since then (even slightly beforehand) things have changed. He works 8 hours a day and I stay home with the kids (who are 3, 2 and 13 months mind you, all while being 34 weeks pregnant)because it's cheaper than me working and us having to pay daycare costs. When he comes home the most he'll do around the house to help me is unload the dishwasher. After chasing around the kids all day and doing all of the cooking and cleaning I sometimes cry myself to sleep because my body hurts so bad. I also believe that he feels that because he is our source of income that means I have no say so in anything to do with money. I ask for money, he ignores me. I advise him on what bills need to be paid, he ignores me. I feel like a maid more than a wife. I feel disrespected in a sense that he doesn't see me as having equal say so. I feel we are growing apart. I have talked to him about this on several occasions and nothing changes. I have even stopped fixing him meals and doing his laundry, pretty much everything short of grabbing him by the ears and screaming in his face. This is not what I signed up for, it feels as though the man I married left long ago. Any ideas on what I could say or do to get him to understand where I am coming from...having 3...soon to be 4 kids I doubt he'd spring the dough for marriage/ couples counseling...


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## daycaremom (Sep 8, 2008)

It sounds like he is depressed. Have you asked him what he wants from your situation? What did he expect when you got married? Maybe the seriousness of your reality is more then he concidered. I say send the kids to grandma's for the night and have a nice quiet romantic dinner at home with him. Maybe he just needs a reminder that you are human and a mother and his wife. Remind him why he married you


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## Urjustnvus (Feb 20, 2009)

I have tried getting him to go places with me, the movies, out to dinner. My Mom is more than willing to take the kiddos so we can have time together. He'll come up with something like he has to get to bed early for work. I just don't get it and after trying repeatedly to talk to him it almost feels as if he's already given up and is just waiting for me to do the same.


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