# I want to believe him......



## veryloved (Aug 13, 2013)

I am an extremely lucky wife but lately my gut tells me that something is going on. My husband is constantly distracted. I did ask him if there was something going on with another woman. He was hurt that I could think that. I would love it if he was distracted by me. I don't want to know if he has cheated. I think he is very interested in it though. How do I get him to talk to me about it?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Distracted could be lots of things, such as work problems, coworker problems, financial concerns (has anything changed, or are any major expenses being proposed?), problems with a friend or relative that he may have been asked not to share, etc., etc.


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## Clawed (May 21, 2013)

Well, if you want him to talk, I definitely would not lead in with accusations. That will shut him down immediately.

I would say just casually bring it into conversation that you are already having. Just say that you have noticed X behavior and that you really want to be let in - in order to be supportive of him. He may tell you what's been bothering him, maybe he will blow you off.

When my wife started messing around she was atually nicer to me than before she started, but often you will hear the opposite is true. I would say trust your instincts, but you don't want to jump the gun either. Just feel him out for a while, share what you find out in this thread and we can certainly be able to help you further.

Have you had any issues as of late in your marriage?


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

the OP is far too vague to form any opinion on what is actually going on. are there specific behaviors that give the gut feeling? what is the context of the relationship? what other factors might be causing distraction in a spouse and exactly what is meant by acting distracted? is there history here to consider? too little to go on.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

Distracted how? Is he always on his phone/Facebook?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

veryloved said:


> I am an extremely lucky wife but lately my gut tells me that something is going on.


Pay attention to your gut.



> I don't want to know if he has cheated. I think he is very interested in it though. How do I get him to talk to me about it?


Which is it? Do you want him to tell you, or do you want to remain ignorant?

Here's the thing. If your husband has cheated, he will never, ever tell you. Cheaters often don't even confess when they are caught red-handed. You could catch your husband in bed with another woman and he may insist that it isn't what it looks like.

So, if you want him to admit cheating to you, you have to catch him at it. That means you have to put a keylogger on his computer, spyware on his phone, and/or a voice-activated recorder in his car. Once you have clear evidence that he is cheating, you can talk to him about it.

Until you have that evidence, you're wasting your breath by asking him about it.


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## Jferreira (Aug 21, 2013)

I wouldnt worry too much unless hes distracted with the wrong things. I find myself distracted alot thinking about finances, children, work, ect. Don't assume it's cheating right away, that will offend him and make him resent you.


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