# what am I supposed to do.



## keith999 (Feb 21, 2013)

I was married for 12 years to a emotionaly abusive woman. I moved from the UK to Australia to be with her. She had an eight year old daughter from a previous marriege. 

We were ok for a few years then it descended into madness. Her daughter started to have awful violent rages with her mum and I was caught in the middle. I endured because I loved them both. It was knives being pulled, windows smashed, a very dangerous situation. I ended getting stabbed in the hand by the daughter.

Anyway my wife got worse and worse, eventually driving out the daughter. What made it worse was my wife was pregnant so I decided to stick it out with her.

Over seven years she was a nightmare. I could never do anything right, I was accused of affairs, spoken to like I was a piece of crap, she controlled all the money, she was a high flying career woman. I stayed with her for my sons sake ended up just appeasing her for peace. I wasnt allowed to have friends, even making toast set her off. She accused me of using her things, etc, etc.

Now my son had some serious problems at school so I was suddenly looking after a special needs Kid. I worked very hard to get to the bottem of his problems having to spend $1000's on medicals and all my wife did was rage at me. I didnt earn much yet she made me pay them as she believed there was nothing wrong, yet he was hitting teachers, had no friends and despite being very smart he was not doing anything in school.

That put a huge strain on the marriege but I loved my son and didnt want to walk out. She started stuffing him full of Mcdonalds despite me cooking him dinner everynight so his weight started to go up, 

In the end it just got to much and even my son started treating me like a piece of crap so I made a stand and told her I wasnt putting up with her crap anymore and if she didnt stop behaving like that I would leave her.

This made her very aggresive. She started getting divorce papers ready, telling me she had somebody anyway and in the end I just gave up. After 3 months of trying to talk some sense into her I walked out and flew back to the UK.

I never heard from her in two months, then out of the blue she was calling me all the time. I tried to move on and after a while met a great girl and we stared dating. I was living at my parents as I had left Australia with nothing.

My ex was relentless, she would not leave me alone but I stood my ground and told her I had somebody else. I refused anything she asked. She guilt tripped me all the time and of course I missed my son so badly and really struggling to live in the UK.

So what she has done now is bought me a ticket to come back despite me telling her no. She wont take no for an answer. Shes using my son to get to me. I am all over the place. I tried NC but its hard with a child. She wants me back and Im starting to crumble.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

For the love of God, do not go back with this woman!

She needs a ton of counseling before you should even think about returning to her!

Sorry but I think you need to stay as far away from this one as possible!


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## keith999 (Feb 21, 2013)

The thing is I put up with it for my sons sake. I feel so guilty for leaving him and she is using that against me. Shes even saying shes going to fly over and get me.

I would dearly love to be reunited with my son and it was so upsetting watching him start to behave like she did. I wasnt a dead beat dad. I did everything for him and yet all I subjected to her rages 7 days a week. I am at a loss why she wants me back. When I stood up to her, she divorced me.

I think she just misses me because I was the house cleaner and nanny. She always said I did nothing even though I had to clean up after her 24/7, she was a hoarder of crap and the house was a pigsty.

Im pretty convinced she is a Borderline. She has a hair trigger temper and erupts for nothing. I used to wear earphones to drown out her rages which came out of nowhere. She earns nearly 200 grand a year and never has money.


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## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

Once you leave and work on yourself, the pieces all start to come back. It wasn't long before another woman found you attractive and worth dating. 

Your wife cannot force you to do anything. Be smart. Let her visit the UK with your son and see them both but don't be an idiot and get back on the airplane with them. 

Have you also spoken to a lawyer? How does it work with divorce laws between UK and Aus? Do you think you can have money going towards your way if you were to successfully get a divorce from her?

She doesn't respect you because she is the breadwinner. Its only when you too are at the same level socially (in her eyes) will you ever have a chance with her. Even if you did achieve that sort of financial success, would you ever want to go back knowing who she was?

It hurts that you have a son. Try and work out a deal with her where you get him for summer vacations. From what you say, I would not even think about reconciling with your wife. Stay away for your own sake.


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