# getting enough sex from the wife falicy



## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

Having experienced many relationships prior to marriage I tend to think that there is usually a fundamental disconnect between MOST men and women regarding sexual urges as it relates to need/desire for sex and its frequency. Many men i think are like me. After a certain period of time they feel compelled to "release". Ror some it is 1 hour LOL others it is 24 hours or more. Allot depends on age and a variety of other factors. Unlike our beloved female partners, emotions, how tired we are or even how we feel toward our spouse usually does not impact this need. This contrasts most women i have known or have come to understand via posters on this thread. Granded there are women that buck this trend but, stand behind my contention in this regard. 

Perhaps both men and women would idealize mutual sex to be the sole/primary sourse of release in marriage but, i don't thing this is realistic. I was recently out with a few guy friends who have been married 10-13 years. They all joked about their active use of their computers or DVDs as a source of satisfaction for them. Some of them I come to find out conseal their habbits more than others. Like many of us guys our conversations tend to be less in-depth and superficial in this regard so none of us really drilled down into the details of this. For the most part my W is understanding other times i feel Guilty about my solo time. 

When i read the sex in marriage thread there seems to be this notion that there are some men that have somehow arranged things to not need any supplementation". I think there are many women who don't want to admit (or perhaps don't know the truth) that their H are regularly taking matters into their own hands. Don't get me wrong there is nothing like a man being with his women, but for most of the rest of us....

My guess is that the responses will follow gender lines which will confimr my hypothesis.


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## joelmacdad (Jul 26, 2010)

The two biggest male lies of all times...
1) I have never masturbated
2) I have stopped masturbating


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

I"ll bet that the men who are truly getting everything they need from their wives, have less time to post on relationship forums than the rest of us.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I'm the higher drive spouse and I feel no guilt whatsoever about my solo times. It's not like he hasn't been asked...


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I think your perception that guys have arranged things without supplementation is accurate, but there's a lot behind it. if a guy is in a relationship that has a fulfilling sexual component, he isn't masturbating unless he has a serious control problem.

On the other hand, a guy who has ED problems, a wife who is not sexual or in a problem marriage will take matters into his own hands.

Whether a wife know, or admits to knowing, is another story.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

nader said:


> I"ll bet that the men who are truly getting everything they need from their wives, have less time to post on relationship forums than the rest of us.


Yeah, but those of us at work find it easier to post and a little more difficult to take care of ourselves


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Chris Taylor said:


> I think your perception that guys have arranged things without supplementation is accurate, but there's a lot behind it. if a guy is in a relationship that has a fulfilling sexual component, he isn't masturbating unless he has a serious control problem.


This is just plain not true. DH and I have a great sex life. Several times a week unless more. He has repeatedly told me (in manners better than words, and words better than directly to the point) that he is happy, satisfied... 

But still some times you get an itch that needs to be scratched and it is easier and quicker to just get the job done.


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## joelmacdad (Jul 26, 2010)

Mom6547 said:


> This is just plain not true. DH and I have a great sex life. Several times a week unless more. He has repeatedly told me (in manners better than words, and words better than directly to the point) that he is happy, satisfied...
> 
> But still some times you get an itch that needs to be scratched and it is easier and quicker to just get the job done.


:iagree:


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

joelmacdad said:


> :iagree:


I agree with this as well. I am totally satisfied with my marriage my wife and our sex. 

Intellectually, I have come to accept my hypothesis as reality for my situation and surmise it is common (if not, not uncommon) from what i have read and heard. I have read posts where people profess that:

1- They are the exclusive providers of sex and therefore their partner does not need to..
and
2-They believe that this is the way it should be 
3-Make people who embrace my hypothesis or their spouces feel like they are strange or missing something or thieir relationship is deficient. 

I was trying to seek comfort for me and my wife's sake that I am not kidding myself in this regard. I also think that this (arrangement) for lack of a better word, is ok assuming everyone is getting the emotional and physical needs met.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Although tainted given my current situation, I believe the only "other" person than your spouse that you can get sexual fulfillment from -- without any guilt or remorse -- is yourself.

It's 'different', easy, and sometimes just plain necessary.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

my husband tells me he doesnt spank it...but I know he does. he's too freaking horny to have fully stopped the daily spank all together. 

i don't press him on the matter though...then he'll start questioning my vibrator habits 

I know he's generally satisfied (sex 3-4x a week and on the days we don't have sex, he gets oral from me), but he may want it more than once a day and unless it's a weekend I just can't provide that for him. So I fully expect him to rub one out to relieve the urge until the next time i can provide for him.


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## Ben (May 8, 2011)

Chris Taylor said:


> Yeah, but those of us at work find it easier to post and a little more difficult to take care of ourselves


I need to take 'extra' care of myself, and have done it at work at times, too


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I haven't been sexually satisfied in my marriage for quite some time (sex twice in 2 years) but I can't remember the last time I masterbated.

And surprisingly the person who is most concerned about my lack of release is my Dr, who has attributed my prostate issues at such an early age to "pressure".

Moral of the story: if you're not getting it regularly get it from yourself...or your pain will be a lot more than emotional.


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