# Help! Husband Emailing Ex



## mountaingirl00 (Feb 22, 2012)

My husband left his email account open. I went to use the computer and noticed his email account open. I clicked on the inbox and seen an email from an ex girlfriend. I then read past emailed exchanged. My husband told her he wished to see her face to face one day, their time together was magical and talking to her makes a part of him feel a live. 

I'm hurt and feel betrayed. Do I confront him? I know he will be mad I read the email. What do I say? It's driving me crazy!


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

This is an emotional affair. You have every right to feel betrayed. You have been.
It sounds like he is fishing for sex with her. Sorry.

Your husband has lost any rights to privacy the moment he did this. He went behind your back and contacted his Ex. He has kept it secret and told her that she makes him feel alive..

Okay . Now the tough bit. He will lie to you about this and he will try and minimise it. You can no longer trust him. I'm sorry but this is the beginning of a long hard road.

Your next job is to find out quickly the extend of this. Act fast though because EA's have a nasty habit of very quickly escalating .
A little bit of protection for you goes in place now. You will need to be sure it has ended and you can't take his word. 

1. Install a keylogger on that computer.
2. Print off the email exchange.

AFTER this.

Confront. Do not accept any angry bull****. He needs to say he will have NO CONTACT with this woman. 
More later..


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## mountaingirl00 (Feb 22, 2012)

Thank you! This confirms what I'm feeling it right. Another piece of the story... my husband is addicted to porn. ;-( We recently discussed this and he decided he was going to go to therapy because he wanted to be a better husband. 

I did install key logger and so far the emails incident, but I felt my husband was looking for sex. However, I know the girl lives in Germany, but feel my husband is fishing for more. Oh, after installing the key logger I found out his password is her last name. ;-(


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## mountaingirl00 (Feb 22, 2012)

One more thing.... I feel like I've done something wrong by looking at my husbands emails. I know he is the one who caused the miss trust. I've been pregnant over the last two years and now I'm starting to question everything he does. ;-(


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

mountaingirl00 said:


> One more thing.... I feel like I've done something wrong by looking at my husbands emails. I know he is the one who caused the miss trust. I've been pregnant over the last two years and now I'm starting to question everything he does. ;-(


dont feel bad about doing what you did.

i feel like in a relationship, once it gets serious, both parties should be willing to give all account info and passwords and be completely open. 

there should be no feelings that you need privacy from your partner.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

mountaingirl00 said:


> One more thing.... I feel like I've done something wrong by looking at my husbands emails. I know he is the one who caused the miss trust. I've been pregnant over the last two years and now I'm starting to question everything he does. ;-(


There are no secrets in a marriage , if he complains about privacy - Privacy is for the bathroom, secrecy is deceit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mountaingirl00 (Feb 22, 2012)

How do I confront my husband? What do I say? I will not tolerate him talking to other girls, but also know that he keep it hidden by deleting his tracks. 

I'm so hurt! I've always been able to trust my husband!;-(


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

You should feel hurt and betrayed his behavior is disgusting there is no excuse of it.


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## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Print out the email, sit him down at the dinner table..and just simply ask him to tell you a story.

Watch him squirm a bit.

Then just simply put the email on the table. Don't let even get a word out, because you have all the answers you need. 

Tell him that what he wrote her is unacceptable and hurtful and a betrayal of your marriage. Tell him NC with her ever again! Change his ridiculous password and recommit to your marriage or to get the f'ck out and move to Germany if he is so inclined. 

Then get up from the table and walk away.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

He may realize he has been an idiot. It will take a little time though. 

1. He must write her an email with you to end the "friendship"

If you just go no contact with a Internet affair the other person may increase contact because they are worried, she may not even know you are still married. She has probably been told you are separated and living in the same house, haven't had sex for years..

2. He must open up his computer. 

This does not mean you remove the keylogger. He need not know about that at this stage.

3. he needs to remove all chat type programs from his phone and computer, yahoo, msn. skype, they all must go. 

Okay he is going to call you paranoid, controlling and waffle on about invasion of privacy. Maybe even talk of his "private life"
Try not to take him seriously. It will hurt and hurt alot.
Let him talk himself into a corner. Don't say nice things about the marriage.
Eat something healthy
Go for a walk.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My husband and I have a very open relationship. We have passwords to email and social websites. It's okay to go through their email and phone. My husband goes through my iPod too. Neither of us have anything to hide.

I'm sorry for your husband's actions. Stand your ground and confront him! Make sure he cuts all contact with her. Perhaps it's a good time to start marriage counseling with him too. Good luck!


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## hisfac (Feb 10, 2012)

Print out the email, place it in front of him on the kitchen table, wait for him to say whatever he's going to say and then tell him:

"It ends now, or we are done".

And mean it.


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## mountaingirl00 (Feb 22, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mountaingirl00 (Feb 22, 2012)

I really appreciate everyone's responses. It helps me confirm my feelings, be strong and confront my husband. I was at loss for words. I've always been able to trust my husband but trust is gone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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