# Separation Anxiety



## Diamonds (Nov 10, 2010)

Okay here goes, my husband (ex) have been married for 25 years. I new along time ago our marriage was over but I had an affair recently and he found out, for that I'm really sorry that he found out. I'm not happy that he did because I see that it has cause him pain. Over the years he's had multiple affairs and I turned my head at the verbal abuse and the affairs and opt to stay with him. As a result those issues has had a major toll on my feels for him. Now I know I want out of the marriage but when I got the notice from the court system..I panic. I had to sit down ask myself "Do I really want this". But I soon realize that after all these years I'm feeling like I won't belong to anyone. Cause for years my ex has told me that no one will want me and I can't make it with out him. 

As anyone had this type of anxiety? I know that I don't love my husband, because when I look back at all the letters and emails I've sent to him (like 5 or 7 years) ago I know I should have left him along time ago.


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## Zampano (Dec 24, 2010)

Diamonds,
I know a great deal about anxiety and panic. In time, those two demons can be managed forever.

I often ponder on men more so than I ponder about women. Strange since I am a man.
Why do men inflict mental pain on women? I often ask myself. I really don't have an answer unless it all comes down to not being a man? I mean why hurt her? If your marriage is over, it's over. No need to molest in my view. What is the benefit to inflicting pain on females?

"Cause for years my ex has told me that no one will want me and I can't make it with out him"

This is just plain mean and should not have been spoken. It's said aloud to diminish ones self esteem, a very valuable commodity, and to push one back into a corner to keep control over. Or so it seems to be to me. 
So he found out you got laid and that made him mad? That's to damn bad. If he did it then so can you. Tough Noogies to him! 

You'll be fine just have faith in yourself. Understand that , on occasion, you will fall. You will fall because your human, just like everyone else. Thus everyone else falls too. It's the way we're made. We learn by doing and sometimes it hurts to learn. 

Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and take another step. They way is forward girl.

Zampano


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## Lonely720 (Sep 19, 2010)

I have this anxiety too. I realized that my marriage should have ended a long time ago...but when I forwarded his mail the other day...I just started crying. It's like the finale is really coming and its so weird. I feel like Im damaged goods too since I'll be divorced. It's a horrible feeling, but its how I feel. Will anyone ever want me too? Idk. I just keep telling myself that God does.


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