# Fed up



## isabela (Feb 7, 2010)

I don't even know where to begin so I will try to sum it up as best as I can... I am 26 years old mom of two 10 & 5. I have always been a very motivated and goal driven individual. I bought my first house 2 days after I turned 18 put myself through college, and have a good job. I am on the PTA at both of my kids’ schools and I spend most nights at sporting events for my kids. I have been in a relationship for 9 years to a man, the father of my 5 year old is. To say the least it has been a rocky road. We have delt with every issue possible; domestic violence, alcoholism, and alluding police vehicles you name it. He has totaled 3 of my cars the most recent this last august. I feel like I am never ever going to get to where I want to be. I feel like he is holding me back. He does not like to interact with the family (its more like a chore to him, and I feel like he never truly enjoys it as much as he enjoys getting drunk with his buddies) . I feel like a single mom taking care of 3 kids. I guess my problem is that I feel like I am fighting a battle that I am never going to win. I want to stick it out with him but I am at a breaking point, although he has changed a bit I feel like it’s only because I nag so much. He is a man that has always had someone (either his mom or I take care of him) and I feel like I am done. I have tried to help him get his business to take off (I run 2 other very successful companies) but he disregards everything I say. He doesn’t even try; it's like he would rather sit at home and be depressed... which makes me depressed. I want someone to take care of me for a change or at least help me. I feel like I am alone all the time. I work part time so that I can be there for the kids to take them to school and pick them up. I also am the only one that spends any quality time with them. I nag him all the time because I am so irritated with him. I just feel like he has no ambition at all and I guess I have a lot of resentment towards him for all the hurt and damage he has caused me. He does not understand that part. I am the one who pays the bills and I never have anytime or money to spare. 
I could go on for days... Please give me some advice. I want to make this work but i feel like I hate him more and more every day but I want what’s best for the kids, I just don’t want to completely loose myself to accomplish that. Any suggestions?


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

Yep. Leave. 
He's sucking you down and your wasting time. 
You know (and i know) that i sound like a jerk for being that blunt.
However. seems clear, he is juvenile and will continue to put you at risk. The quicker you leave him to his like... the more you'll be able to recover your life and identity.


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## isabela (Feb 7, 2010)

5 years ago I would have and should have left and not thought twice but now that i have a son with him I feel sooo incredably guilty it makes me want to puke... how do I leave this without a blow out? I have tried before to get him to leave and he wont so I end up just "getting over it" for the sake of avoiding a fight.Or he well go for a day and come back like nothing ever happend. I dont want to leave my home and make my kids readjust because he wont leave... I know I can survive without him but it's finding the strength to take the first step...


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Your not married?

Is the mortgage in your name? If so, call the cops and make him get out. If his name isn't on anything, its usually pretty easy to get him out. Your child will be better for it if he is really the bad influence that you have written. For the sake of the child I would petition the court for full custody AND request supervised visitation based on his past abuse, alcoholism, and trouble with the law.


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## bacala787 (Feb 7, 2010)

Leave!


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