# Ready to give and receive help



## bud1982 (Sep 1, 2018)

Good Afternoon,

I'm mainly on this forum because my wife and I have had a difficult time since her two miscarriages since November 2017. Just recently, my wife has admitted that she been suffering from depression and has had suicidal thoughts, both recently and throughout her life. While I am faithful that she and I will get better, I look forward to having a forum of thoughtful peers to help me through this journey as I also look forward to helping others.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Is your wife under a physician's care for her depression? That is something that the both of you should try to handle by yourselves. Def get to a Dr or a counselor to start dealing with this asap.

VERY sorry for your loss -its a very difficult thing to go through.


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## bud1982 (Sep 1, 2018)

jlg07 said:


> Is your wife under a physician's care for her depression? That is something that the both of you should try to handle by yourselves. Def get to a Dr or a counselor to start dealing with this asap.
> 
> VERY sorry for your loss -its a very difficult thing to go through.


Thanks for the reply. My wife has been seeing non-Western therapies (meditation, energy flow type stuff) but no physician's or traditional therapist care yet.

She says she isn't sure if she wants to, but I am planning on researching for doctors on my own and take care of the scheduling. Thankfully we live in a metro area with tons of options and doctors.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I'm not against non-western stuff at all, but depression is often a chemical imbalance and MAY need to be addressed through western medicine/medicines to at least start improving the depression (if herbal medicine isn't helping). I'm worried about suicidal thoughts, and it the non-western stuff hasn't helped, maybe you should pursue it (at LEAST look into it).
You should keep a suicide hotline number in your phone JUST in case.

You both may also want to see about counseling and/or grief counseling just to talk out these feelings with an objective 3rd party. It affects BOTH of you for sure...


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Hoping y'all are being treated by physician who specializes in high risk pregnancies.

Also hope you are seeking grief therapy. "It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand" by Megan Devine is a book some like although she 'rates' causes of grief. Some like Chapter 9 (read review--available on Amazon). Another book on infertility "Do you Love Someone Who Is Infertile? by Sheri DeGraf may or may not be appropriate. 

I know of some who have been successful with pregnancy after acupuncture. 

I have a grandson who is a rainbow baby. Glad you are staying on top of depression.


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## bud1982 (Sep 1, 2018)

Thanks for the reply all. Another wrinkle in this situation is that after the miscarriages, my wife needs time to decide whether or not she wants to have kids. Prior to becoming married, we've always been on the same page of wanting to have one, but no more than two kids, but this potential change in her desire to be a parent has been a difficult weight on me too. We've only been medically cleared to try to get pregnant since June, so it hasn't been long, but some guidance in how long I should wait before seriously asking her intentions is needed. My intuition is that she will never be secure with her choice until she becomes at peace with herself.


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