# How can I help my wife with depression



## GSUPS (Sep 13, 2012)

My wife and I have been married for 5 months tomorrow, and she suffers from depression which runs in her family. She usually has medications to take for it but in the transition of the move we havent set an appointment with a new doctor yet, plus I don't want her to have to rely on medications to help her with the depression, I want to be the "cure" for it. She is a stay at home mom and has always been some what anti social and is having trouble making friends up here, we live about 20 minutes from where i was born and raised. We only have one car which I use to get to work every day so she is stuck at home all day. There are some days when she is perfectly fine and some days when she is just a wreck. 

In my family which has depression too, we always just ignored it and acted as if it werent there so I stuck to my instincts which made it worse. I want her to be happy and not beat up on herself all the time. We are still somewhat in the getting to know each other stage we only met last october and are already married, we fell in love faster than expected and we are still getting used to being married and living with each other. Any advice I would greatly appreciate.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I can honestly say that in all the years I suffered from depression there wasn't a darn thing my husband could do to help me until I was ready to heal myself. 

I believe most depression is curable but it takes good therapy to accomplish that. It took TWO YEARS of therapy before I could officially say I cured my depression.


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## MTD (Apr 30, 2008)

Dear GSUPS,

The best way for you to help her is to encourage her to make an appointment with a new psychiatrist to discuss medication options IN ADDITION to finding her a therapist/counselor to talk to. It is admirable that you want to be her cure but this is not realistic. 

Find her help. Here is a good resource to do so. Just type in your zip code. Psychology Today's Therapist Directory: click HERE

If you can't find a therapist on your insurance plan, ask about sliding scales. Make sure to find a *licensed* professional counselor, marriage and family therapist or social worker. 

Take care,
Married-To-Depression


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

She needs to be in counseling, and there needs to be another car. I would imagine a person staying at home with no way to go anywhere if need to be, and feeling dependent on another, would just add to the depression she already has.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

I couldn't imagine not being able to go anywhere I needed or wanted to. If money is an issue about another car, could you car pool to work so she wont be left without a vehicle? Or maybe you and your family can help in getting her a car of some kind? Nothing fancy but something that could get her from point A to point B? No one needs to be left without a way to get some where if they had to. Part of her depression too, could stem from being so dependent as someone else mentioned. 

She needs to seek therapy and the best thing you can do is be there for her, and support her. You can't fix her depression but sometimes just having someone around that cares and understands says a lot.


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## smile4me (Sep 20, 2012)

Meds are not a crutch, they really do help... you wouldnt ask a diabetic to will themselves off of insulin, right?? It's the same idea... 
You can help by being supportive, understanding, non-judgemental and honestly talking to her... You can't really ignore depression cuz then the depressed person feels like their feelings are being, well, ignored... 
I admire your drive to help her. Maybe getting her involved in something in her new community (church, craft class, volunteering at something that interests her, etc) Getting her feeling connected to others. And counseling in addition to meds... 
Best of Everything to you and your Bride


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## GSUPS (Sep 13, 2012)

Thank you all for your responses, we have set up an appointment with a therapist next week. As for another car, we just cannot afford it at the moment I am the only one working and I have signed up for an office carpool it is just hard finding someone in our area. My parents cant help with a car either because they are in a financial hole. I feel bad asking her parents because they just paid for our wedding 6 months ago and gave us the money for the downpayment on our house, I suppose I could ask them for help if it will help lena get better.


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