# I don't know what to do. Help!!



## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

My husband and I have been married almost 14 years. We had out first child together June 2009. While i was pregnant and showing he no longer wanted to have sex with me. After we had our baby, no sex until December the same year, then again almost 7 months later. I Thought that he was having an affair. my husband has never gone long with out sex in the past. I dug and dug for 3 weeks. I found nothing. 

So i decided to ask him if there was someone else. He said no. I did ask him about the why it had been so long with no sex, he told me that the desire or interest isn't there. I asked him about the porn, he said there hasn't been any. (i found it on his computer.) I also asked him if it was just me he wasn't interested in anymore and of course he said that isn't it. This happened back in may 2010.

He has told me that he has low testosterone levels, he has however never been to the Dr for this problem (we have no insurance.) He buy an herbal supplement to take, but he doesn't take them like he should. I was over weight i have lost almost 50 lbs. It seems like i have to pester him for sex every time. We fight about sex ( i mean really, of all things to fight about.) I have always had a high drive. I do love my husband. I just dont know what to do at this point. I am upset at him. He does little to try to fix or change anything. When we do have sex, wham bam thank you mam and he is the only one who gets anything out of it. 

I have talked to him about this, Maybe not as clearly as i should. It has done very little. I do know that sex is not everything in a relationship. But it is important in any adult relationship. I dont really know what i am looking for posting on here. I feel that my husband and I have grown so far apart in the last 2 years. Him cheating is still a possibility. 

I am getting to the point of ending my relationship, because i just can't deal with the pain of him rejecting me and being so distant toward me anymore. ( i gave up trying to iniate sex because he would tell me no almost every time.

I didn't read this, i just wrote, if you need more information let me know


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## sailorgirl (Jun 9, 2010)

I don't know what to tell you except that I understand. Though my husband never really had a high sex drive. He always assured me he would work on it and try more in the early years of our marriage, but now 15 years latter he has just given up and does not want sex at all--not from me not from anyone he just does not like it. It's a hassle for him. 

I don't understand why spouses do this to their wife/husband. Don't they understand that you can not have a healthy marriage without it? That it is like torture to do this to your spouse.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

How does he know his testosterone levels are low, as you have no insurance to test? Some men have naturally lower levels (but within normal range) & can still function pretty good sexually, still having a decent drive. I consider my husband in this catagory. 

A Red flag here is this - he says he is not looking at porn, but you found it on his computer. Men with a sex drive LIKE porn & will sneak it. Some men, if their TEST is REALLY low (problem low), may loose all desire for this. 

Does he have other symptoms such as falling asleep after work , tired more than he used to be, brain fog, some even get a little depressed, maybe less facial hair than he used to grow?? It would be affecting his way of life, he would feel like he was dragging at work, these symptoms warrent getting Replacement therapy for men. 

If he is a "ball of energy" in any form it is not a testosterone issue at all. 

MY guess is if he is looking at porn, he is masterbating to it.

What do you think -- truly a Low Test non desire issue or Porn?


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