# Inoffensive ways of reminding your spouse about sex



## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

What in your experience is an inoffensive or fun way of reminding your spouse that you had not had sex for too long?

I came back from abroad having been two weeks away and when we went to bed my SO said,

"I don't know about you but I have forgotten how to do it. Please remind me." 

Since then "Please remind me" has a special meaning that comes with a smile. 

What terms do you use in your house?


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

MaiChi said:


> What in your experience is an inoffensive or fun way of reminding your spouse that you had not had sex for too long?
> 
> I came back from abroad having been two weeks away and when we went to bed my SO said,
> 
> ...


Let me first finish laughing and then will reply 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

"Honey, lets check to see if it still works."


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Ever since watching Lonesome Dove, our goto prelim if has been a couple days is "how 'bout a poke", or some exchange involving the word "poke".

DW and I thought that question or topic that Gus in the movie was always bringing up was a hoot. 

So if any exchange necessary I or she brings it up, so all can know it's on.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Don't wear clothes.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Most times I just say, "you need to drop 'em panties".


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

MaiChi said:


> What terms do you use in your house?


"Bend over and show me."

"Take your knickers off."

"You should put my **** in your mouth."

"It's time for you to lose your panties."

Any of the above and similar statements.


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## Married_in_michigan (Apr 9, 2014)

so...this was actually an interesting thread for me, as only very recently, my wife told me that my verbal approach has been part of the issues I have faced getting the amount of sex I would like. For many years (not sure where or who started it), we would both say "wanna spend some time together", and that was the phrase known to mean sex. I think it might have been when our kids were younger and around, so it could be send openly in front of them. I have since (for many years), used that same phrase when asking if she is interested. Recently, she told me, it was too passive and unless she happened to already be thinking about it, really did not cause her to feel any level of excitement about the idea, so she often just said "no" or "maybe". I admit, its not like "wanna spend some time together" is sexy, or that the phrase itself is going to moisten her panties. I then asked her, for what would be better....and was a little surprised by the response. She said she would much prefer, either "lets f**k", or for me to offer something very specific, like "lets go upstairs and take turns giving each other oral sex", or "lets go have a quickie in the bathroom". She said the blunt "lets f**k" is sometimes just more strait forward, and either she is down for it or she is not, and that the other times, she is more inclined to say yes, if she knows what specifically I am hoping for, rather than having to yes to an unknown. I think the times being very specific have improved my odds of getting a yes more often. For example, if I know she has already showered for the day and needs to head out in a while, if I offer something other than intercourse, she is more inclined to say yes, knowing she does not have time for another shower. I have also noticed, if she is not necessarily thinking about sex at all before hand, offering something like mutual masturbation can appeal to her, where a more generic invitation may not have. Spending 5 minutes, no mess, and an orgasm may sound good, where more may not. As the high desire partner, I am learning the way I ask, can have a lot of influence on the response.

I know this is not exactly what you were looking for in this thread, but reading it, reminded me of how our previous couples sex phrase, actually was not allowing good communication in our marriage.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> Don't wear clothes.


I walk around nekkid for a while all the time after shower and shave (beard trim) and getting ready in the morning, or if shower in the afternoon after working around the house.
👍


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

My favorite phrase is "I'm going to have a poke" and include a ballpark time, usually a little grab-ass while saying.

Gotta love Lonesome Dove.

I have a 99% success rating.

Now that's not the only way, especially if we're already stretched out in bed.

Sometimes, if we're already in bed, and even if we may have been falling asleep if I wake up, another phrase we use is

"hey, you awake?" along with first a kindly poke in the shoulder to make sure she's awake to hear me, and again, a little grab-ass. (This was some movie, too, but I can't remember which one, we both thought that phrase was "gnarly and appreciated the humor of it).

I still remember the look she gave me and the sultry giggle, some 20 years ago, when we first heard it. 

And the panties come off, whenever we have this short repartee. 

All have to remember, we've been M for 35yrs, and are used to and both prefer getting to the point in things.

Even when our (in 30s) kids are over and I discreetly share I want her to "tuck me in", she's there. Mostly she showers and gets back up to finish watching tv with the family or go back to whatever they were doing in the visit.

If its early, I may shower and get back up. Usually I go on to bed, because I get up early in the morning.

We're past all the hangups at this stage. Been this way pretty much all our M.

She's a "reactive" sexual partner, say 70% of the time and after I got that down pat early, we've been in a great space. 30% of the time she just comes up and grabs my xxx or says hey, you better be naked in 30 minutes when I get out of the shower and we're on.

For the 70% of the time I spend much of my time thinking of new things to do and try, that I think she'd like, and try all kinds of things I literally dream up during my regular day.

Part of me lives to entertain the opposite sex, and I'm quite fortunate it's my W.


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## Marriednatlanta (Sep 21, 2016)

Married_in_michigan said:


> so...this was actually an interesting thread for me, as only very recently, my wife told me that my verbal approach has been part of the issues I have faced getting the amount of sex I would like. For many years (not sure where or who started it), we would both say "wanna spend some time together", and that was the phrase known to mean sex. I think it might have been when our kids were younger and around, so it could be send openly in front of them. I have since (for many years), used that same phrase when asking if she is interested. Recently, she told me, it was too passive and unless she happened to already be thinking about it, really did not cause her to feel any level of excitement about the idea, so she often just said "no" or "maybe". I admit, its not like "wanna spend some time together" is sexy, or that the phrase itself is going to moisten her panties. I then asked her, for what would be better....and was a little surprised by the response. She said she would much prefer, either "lets f**k", or for me to offer something very specific, like "lets go upstairs and take turns giving each other oral sex", or "lets go have a quickie in the bathroom". She said the blunt "lets f**k" is sometimes just more strait forward, and either she is down for it or she is not, and that the other times, she is more inclined to say yes, if she knows what specifically I am hoping for, rather than having to yes to an unknown. I think the times being very specific have improved my odds of getting a yes more often. For example, if I know she has already showered for the day and needs to head out in a while, if I offer something other than intercourse, she is more inclined to say yes, knowing she does not have time for another shower. I have also noticed, if she is not necessarily thinking about sex at all before hand, offering something like mutual masturbation can appeal to her, where a more generic invitation may not have. Spending 5 minutes, no mess, and an orgasm may sound good, where more may not. As the high desire partner, I am learning the way I ask, can have a lot of influence on the response.
> 
> I know this is not exactly what you were looking for in this thread, but reading it, reminded me of how our previous couples sex phrase, actually was not allowing good communication in our marriage.


I agree - leave no room for misunderstanding. When I say bluntly - "Do you want to have sex??" Leaves very little for confusion.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I always like action more than words. Like when the kisses turn into real kisses and I know he means business lol.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

If we are unable to have sex because Of distance or I’m on my period or were sick, I always say I miss you! I miss having sex with you.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Girl_power said:


> I always like action more than words. Like when the kisses turn into real kisses and I know he means business lol.


Me too. Kissing and fondling always gets things going.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

If we have not had time apart or time without sex, the for day to day the term we use is as follows:
I say "I am expecting a visit." or "When is the next visit?"
He says "Could do with visiting. " 
Same language on text. Got a message once when he had a stop over in Dubai. 

"Expect a visit in 11 hours. Love you!!!!"

It is funny when there are other people and they have no idea what we are talking about and someone asks about What visitor.


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