# Lost during Trial? Separation



## julia71 (Oct 25, 2010)

I made my husband leave the house almost 2 weeks ago (long story short - he's an alcoholic and in another one of his lovely drunken screaming rants at me he took it a step further and hit me - deal breaker - see ya!). So, we are now separated, the kids have been told, etc. etc. Basically my trust and respect is destroyed and my love for him is like that of the love you have for a friend, not a wife for a husband - the alcoholism has destroyed alot. He's been getting help since he was tossed out - AA, counseling, and he seems serious about changing, etc.

I've told him I'm not sure I want to divorce, and I'm not sure I want to continue to marriage - with the trust, respect and love so horribly damaged, I need time to sort things out and figure out what I want. He understands that (he says) and says he'll give me that time. Problem is, I feel....lost. I am going to counseling - once a week. But right now I feel like I'm just going through the motions of day to day life and that's about it. Emotionally I'm mostly numb - I've cried, but not much at all. I don't think about it much, I'm almost like a robot on automatic. I feel like I should be doing something, thinking something, feeling something, but I'm just not. And meanwhile, I feel like everything rides on me, everyone is waiting on me to decide if our family is going to get back together or not. So I'm lost and everyone is waiting on me. I don't know how to begin to rebuild the trust (if I can), or the respect (if I can), or the right kind of love (if I can), or to even know if I can. Has anyone felt like this when going through a, I guess, trial separation? Do you eventually know how to work on things? How do you know if you should continue your marriage or not? How long is too long to take to think through things? Not that I'm apparently thinking.


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## mariem1967 (Dec 1, 2010)

Hi, all cases are different but all have lot in common. I think it is good to seek some professional help cause it's hard that someone can understand your situation by your post here. I passed through similar situation and if you find someone to hear full story and someone with lot's of experience you can go out from this situation quick and with new positive energy that can help you to continue your life.


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