# Women, what would you think if your man wanted to be slightly submissive?



## averagejoe (Jul 8, 2011)

I would like to be a little bit submissive during sex with a woman, no hitting or being restrained or anything like that... But for example only giving oral and not receiving it. I'm not sure if that would even be submissive by defenition but it's kinda what I want. I'm not sure if I should get anymore detailed than that but I want to do it I guess in a slightly submissive way.

However, I wonder what women would think about this. Would you get turned off if your boyfriend/husband wanted to be a bit submissive? Would you even break up with him? Or would you agree to it?

I haven't been with a woman yet. But if I get a girlfriend I'm kinda worried she will think I'm less of a man or something if I wanted to do it in the way that I would like. I'm very much like any other guy in every other aspect in life.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

Everyone is different. I would be instantly turned off. I prefer to be manhandled in bed though. Too much control in my daily life makes me crave something else in the bedroom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

It sounds like you are describing just being a real pleaser in bed. Most women like that! Giving and not expecting anything in return (oral) would not be a turn off to most women.

If you want to be slightly overpowered by a woman (her being more sexually aggressive than you) I am sure you will have no problem finding someone who wants to do that. Try to find a woman who has a confident, strong personality. She may like that.

Also, since you've never been with a woman, you may be surprised about what you really want once you are in a real-life situation. There are many powerful men who are submissive in the sack, so don't worry about it. Just go have fun.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

As a guy, here's my take...

There's lots of women who like to dominate their men, and lots of websites devoted to finding a match. So if that's what floats your boat, I don't think you have more than a minor kink.

Having said that, I love giving oral sex to my GF, and every other partner I've had. Receiving oral sex, I can take it or leave it, and have difficulties having an orgasm from it. But I would definitely consider myself the dominant partner in those relationships. 

As laurae says, you might be very surprised by who's the dominant partner in some relationships... The powerful man who likes to give up control, the meek housewife who wants to take control... You'll find your match, if you want to!

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Are there other areas of your life where your gf/wife would be submissive? I think it's a matter of balance. Especially if it's 'slightly' and it wasn't initially her cup of tea, if there were something you were always in control of (something nice, recreational even) then she would probably appreciate a turn at being dominant. Have to say, theoretically (or ummmmm, in my fantasy land) there's nothing like being swept off your feet literally on the dance floor, to make you feel like you want to show your partner whose really boss. LOL


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## Chelhxi (Oct 30, 2008)

Wouldn't bother me but I wouldn't want it like that all the time, though I'm sure there are women who would. I think it's fun to take turns in that type of thing. But as has been said, once you try you might change your mind about what you want. And there are so many types of things to do - you should try as much as you feel comfortable with.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> Everyone is different. I would be instantly turned off. I prefer to be manhandled in bed though. Too much control in my daily life makes me crave something else in the bedroom.


:smthumbup: :smthumbup:


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

averagejoe said:


> I'm very much like any other guy in every other aspect in life.


:scratchhead:


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## Ayrun (Jun 12, 2011)

In my experience, most women only become sexually dominant when theyre piss ass drunk. Women are hard wired to desire dominance and masculinity in a man and often get turned off by submissive guys. That don't mean he can't go down south though.

Female doms are kinda rare, ime.


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## Closer (Jul 15, 2011)

Well, you wouldn't have trouble finding women like that. If you want to be submissive, that's fine.

Everyone of us like different things. Being submissive in the bedroom doesn't make you less than a man.

Personally, I dominate women in the bedroom. I love it and they do too.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

It wouldn't work for me at all.

I like to sometimes initiate and just go for it, but on the whole I really like him to be dominate.

I like him to be a little rough with me too.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

?! Giving oral to a woman is submissive?

I personally love it, smooth beautiful legs welcoming you into soft delicious lips. I personally can't see how it's considered submissive considering I practically grab the missus into my mouth.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I don't see giving your lady oral with nothing in return as submissive. I think itss great.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

That doesn't have to be submissive! You can only give oral and not let her do it to you...lol. Unless you want to be submissive and let her take the lead? 

I prefer my man to be dominant...to the point where it gets a little weird. But, thankfully my husband is into that as well.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Being a bottom is about trust.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I am not sure the OP's definition of submissive (doing oral sex on the woman only) is what I think of as submissive. I guess I think of submissive as someone who wants to give control of the sexual relationship over to the other person. They want to be dominated by their partner, and this likely can take many different forms.

In any case, I am sure that if you take the time to get to know any prospective partners, averagejoe, you will find someone right for you.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Sorry to interupt, but my $0.02 is, it is one thing to have a women on top, and its another thing to willing take beating to protect your chicks honor.

In addition its all good to *play* that game in the bed, but at the end of the day it is the mans role to protect his women.

So I know I'm going to catch sh8t for this, so for those of you who want to hate me, then go kill your own spiders, go out in the middle of the night and find that noice, go and step in front of that danger on your own!

My point, don't confuse submission with courage, the courage not only to take but to give!


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## averagejoe (Jul 8, 2011)

the guy said:


> Sorry to interupt, but my $0.02 is, it is one thing to have a women on top, and its another thing to willing take beating to protect your chicks honor.
> 
> In addition its all good to *play* that game in the bed, but at the end of the day it is the mans role to protect his women.
> 
> ...


I'm not sure where you are getting at here. 

I am more than capable of defending a woman and I don't have any less courage than any other guy has. I have boxed and competed for about 6 years so if things come to it... I know how to handle myself(just saying this incase people think I'm some wuss)

I guess as some people have pointed out "submissive" might be the wrong word.

I'll try to explain more clearly.

I want a woman who can take charge somewhat, isn't afraid to get things going... 

I get the impression though, that most women are fairly... passive you know? They wait for the man to initiate and it's all on the mans conditions.... I kinda want the opposite. 

I realise I obviously has to find a woman who is a good match sexually. But it's not always so easy to know that before you get married.


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## averagejoe (Jul 8, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> I am not sure the OP's definition of submissive (doing oral sex on the woman only) is what I think of as submissive. I guess I think of submissive as someone who wants to give control of the sexual relationship over to the other person. They want to be dominated by their partner, and this likely can take many different forms.
> 
> In any case, I am sure that if you take the time to get to know any prospective partners, averagejoe, you will find someone right for you.


This might sound like a stupid question but before marriage do people talk about sex and things like that beforehand or do they wait until the wedding night and just sees how it goes?

Because you don't really get to know what sex will be like until you get married so you don't know if that person is a good match for you in that way.


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

So what you're saying is that you'd like your lady(in the future) to be somewhat sexually aggressive? Does that wording sound better to you than saying you want to be submissive? Sounds like what you're getting at.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Being a bottom is about trust.


You got that right.
My husband failed that test.
I mean, my STBXH. Mr. 100% condom use (sarcastic) control freak who tried to get me pregnant at age 47.


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

A submissive man is a huge turn off for me. 

That said, for a man to give (but not recieve) oral is not passive. It could just be knowing what he wants & going after it. I would feel like my husband was taking control if he behaved this way- if he was determined that I be satisfied.

Now, if you do this by asking if you can give but not recieve & keep bothering her with inane questions ("Is this ok? Did I hurt you? Is it ok if I...?) it comes off like you are a pleaser, which is the best way to kill the mood with a woman who is looking for a manly man. But, as I'm sure you know, there are many women out there who like to be in control in bed. I doubt you will have any trouble finding one who meets your needs. Like another eply said, there are whole websites devoted to these relationships.

If my husband wanted to be submissive (tied up, spanked, dominated by me) I would have a very hard time playing along. Seeing him that way would make my stomach turn To me, there is nothing sexier in my marriage than my husband taking complete control. At least, I think there's nothing sexier. It would have to have happened at some point for me to know for sure. I guess my husband being dominent is my fantasy.


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