# Uninterested newlywed wife



## AZpeacemaker (Oct 24, 2009)

I've been with my husband for 7 years, but we just got married less than 3 weeks ago. We weren't sexually active before we were married. Now I don't really feel an interest for sex. I feel physically attracted to him and I get butterflies whenever I know he's coming home. I just can't really get excited about sex. Its more just something I do for him but I always want him to finish quickly. I don't even care if I climax. I worry that my feelings about sex are going to be a huge issue later. Is this normal?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

These things are ALL legit - do not feel shallow or bad if any of them are real and bother you - to have even a chance at fixing this you need to be brutally honest.

Can you try to deconstruct why:
- How much is stuff about him that he can change?
is he super clean
is his breath fresh/nice
mustache/beard make kissing him less fun
is a overweight - and that bugs you
is he lacking muscle - and that bugs you
- How skilled/patient is he in bed
Has he made the effort to learn how to please you
Has he asked you lots of questions about what you like/dislike
- How much of it is stuff he cannot change
you don't find him handsome
he is not as tall as you like
he is not as large/imposing/strong as you like
he is not sized proportionally if you get my drift

Pre marriage - did you used to kiss and make out - and did that get you turned on? 







AZpeacemaker said:


> I've been with my husband for 7 years, but we just got married less than 3 weeks ago. We weren't sexually active before we were married. Now I don't really feel an interest for sex. I feel physically attracted to him and I get butterflies whenever I know he's coming home. I just can't really get excited about sex. Its more just something I do for him but I always want him to finish quickly. I don't even care if I climax. I worry that my feelings about sex are going to be a huge issue later. Is this normal?


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

Belive me, I feel the same way A LOT. I LOVE when my husband comes home. He gets home late at night and I wait up for him. I can't wait to see him.

But I don't always want to have sex with him when he walks through the door. I get excited when I see him, but it's not a sexual excited. I'm just happy to see him. 

What I started doing is MAKING myself feel sexy before my husband comes home. I take a shower, put something sexy on (anything but old granny nightgown), put on a nice fragrance, maybe drink a glass of wine. I just make myself feel sexy, because it doesn't come naturally and I know sex is important to my marriage so I put forth the effort. And belive me, it is an effort. He's worth it though.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

You are smart. My wife does the same. She makes the effort. And I try to make the effort in lots of other ways so that she feels well treated. 





themrs said:


> Belive me, I feel the same way A LOT. I LOVE when my husband comes home. He gets home late at night and I wait up for him. I can't wait to see him.
> 
> But I don't always want to have sex with him when he walks through the door. I get excited when I see him, but it's not a sexual excited. I'm just happy to see him.
> 
> What I started doing is MAKING myself feel sexy before my husband comes home. I take a shower, put something sexy on (anything but old granny nightgown), put on a nice fragrance, maybe drink a glass of wine. I just make myself feel sexy, because it doesn't come naturally and I know sex is important to my marriage so I put forth the effort. And belive me, it is an effort. He's worth it though.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

You're smart to worry about sex in marriage because it can become a real problem if you aren't interested in sex. Even doing it just for him may bite you because there are men who stop trying when they realize their wives are not enjoying it and are only doing it for them. They want their wives to want them the way they want their wives. And I don't really think that's an unreasonable thing to want.

Don't you enjoy your husband's body?


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