# I lied to my wife more then once and she now wants a Divorce.



## LOSTANDCONFUSED25 (Mar 9, 2011)

Me and my wife have been together for a lil over 2 years. we would have been married for 2 years in June. Over that time I have lied to her numerous times about talking to other females. These were in the sexual context type conversation. I also lost the ability to talk to her, i felt that every time that i did try to talk to her about anything that all she would do is slam me for my past or my family. this all started after i separated from the military and moved back to maine where i am from. ever since we moved her she has hated it. all she has wanted to do is move back to her home, i cant say as i blame her i know what it is like to leave everything behind everyone you ever known. since then we have been on the rocks. she finally had enough of me telling her that i would do things and then not do them, i wasnt putting her first and above all and everyone in my life. i was being very selfish and put my friends and family and myself before her and her son, which i love like my own. i had a mental break down and tried to kill myself after she told me that she wanted a divorce. i kept it to myself because i did think that anyone would of really cared. before all that happened i asked he to give an other chance, i should of given her time to think then just pushing for an answer. he was going to give me an other chance and then i lied to her about who i was with one night. after that she has lost complete trust in me. she has also found someone else that she is seeing now. i want her back in my life so bad and she does want me back but what is stopping her is that she does not trust me nor does she know if that she will ever trust me again. the reason i am writing on here is because i am at a point that i dont know if i should keep trying to find away to fight for her and get her back in some way, i love her and care about her with all my heart. i dont know how to even start getting her back or even where to being, i have told her that i am willing to give up everything in my life let her have complete access to everything in my life, but she cant do that because she feels that i would resent her later in life, i also told her that i was willing to move anywhere that she wanted to move to. i know that it is going to take time for her to heal from what i have done and i understand that. or should i just let her go, all i want is for her to be happy, that is all i have ever wanted.

if anyone has an incite or words of wisdom i would greatly appreciated it.

Thank you in advance.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If you loved her, you wouldn't repeatedly lie to her. Let her and her child find happiness with an honorable, dependable, decent guy. You need to work on your own issues before you'll have much to offer a woman.


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

There is only a small chance she will ever be with you again. Figure your own issues out and grow as a person. Realize you may never have a chance with your wife again.



> she has also found someone else that she is seeing now.


She has moved on or started to.

All you can say is that you are willing to make it work, but that may never happen.


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## Luvstruck (Aug 18, 2010)

Keep fighting until there is no fight left. Yes marriage is hard and you were wrong but you can admit that. And, changing it makes it even better. Maybe offer counseling. And start telling the truth. I respect you for admitting the wrong now just prove to your wife you can start being the husband she needs if you havent already lost her.


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## LOSTANDCONFUSED25 (Mar 9, 2011)

when do i know when to stop fighting, when do i know that there is nothing left that i can do, when is it just hurting her more then showing her that i want to be with her and that i do love and care about her?


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

LOSTANDCONFUSED25 said:


> when do i know when to stop fighting, when do i know that there is nothing left that i can do, when is it just hurting her more then showing her that i want to be with her and that i do love and care about her?


I would get out my crystal ball, but it, like many other thing, is shattered 

Sorry, I ask the same question, but do not know the answer.


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## Luvstruck (Aug 18, 2010)

Being there for her emotionally. Putting down fb or the cell phone hell even deleting fb. I have had the same issues with my husband he didnt even try to get my trust back. Start devoting your attention and time to her. Show her you want to be there for her. and keep fighting until she walks out and never looks back so you can never say you didnt fight hard. Men are different. We are more emotional so you have to get into her emotional needs and do things that is not your norm and keep them up until you feel in your heart it is truly over.


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## Luvstruck (Aug 18, 2010)

And you killing yourself is not worth it. If she leaves then you know what to do for the next relationship. Cut out the self pity and get your woman back RIGHT NOW!


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Is she dating someone else now? How serious is it? Has she given you signs that its over?


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## LOSTANDCONFUSED25 (Mar 9, 2011)

i did give up fb and my phone for a while but the only reason i took my phone back was so when i was out i could stay in contact with her. i try to be there emotionally for her but i feel she dont trust me enough to be there for her emotional at all. i dont know what else i can do to get into her emotional needs.


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## Luvstruck (Aug 18, 2010)

Counselling!


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## LOSTANDCONFUSED25 (Mar 9, 2011)

she is seeing someone it is off and on not that serious that i can tell. as far as signals i dont even know what to look or even to see if it is a sign.


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## LOSTANDCONFUSED25 (Mar 9, 2011)

i dont think that she is willing to do counselling.


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

trust can be lost in seconds and take years to rebuild, if ever...if you really want her back, you are going have to go slow, not stalk her....don't pressure her...and show her that you've changed...not just tell...

go to counseling for yourself...


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## Luvstruck (Aug 18, 2010)

And I strongly believe in Jesus you should try Him. Both of you. Once you all get involved in the church or where you may go you will be amazed at what HE can do.


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## LOSTANDCONFUSED25 (Mar 9, 2011)

i have started to go to counselling for myself.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I don't understand why you want to stay with her. You don't seem suitable for a committed loving relationship. Wouldn't you be better off staying single and having all the random women you desire? Why do something that will eventual hurt her. She is hurt enough.

I don't think you are able to stop cheating or you would have stopped the first time she forgave you. What did you expect her to do when you continued the deception? Did you really think she would want to stay with you. 

I would say leave her alone and get on with your life. Let her know you are sincerely sorry and in the interest of her finding someone who will cherish her you are going to let her go.

I don't understand your dramatic reaction, you betrayed her several times, each time you knew she would hurt and you did not care. Are you sure you care now or you just don't want to lose. 

She sounds like she will have no problems meeting someone healthy and good why don't you go away and let her live. She has been through enough with you.

If you are so hurt, then don't cheat or just go around having random woman and be honest with them that you do not have the self-control or capacity to love or the empathy it takes not to hurt another. 

I hope she goes through with the divorce she would have to be crazy to stay in a situation where she will live in fear that you will lie and cheat as you have done twice. .


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