# Pushed past my limit (really long!)



## Raine1234 (Jun 5, 2013)

My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. We have been having a lot of arguments about the same topics, and it's because we lack communication. 

My biggest thing is that we don't talk to each other. Both of us work, come home, eat, and go to bed, without a lot of conversation in between. I am the type of person who loves quality conversation and quality time, and he doesn't. He could go for days, even weeks, without talking to me and be perfectly fine with it. He thinks us being in the same room counts as quality time, even if we don't speak. I have told him on numerous occasions that I need conversation from him, but he never gives it to me or even makes an effort to talk to me. 

It's even worse when we fight. My husband is the type of person who thinks he is right all the time, so when we argue he will say anything and everything (even if it doesn't make any sense) to prove himself right. He has said very hurtful things to me, like he wishes I would find a hobby so I can stop bugging him about us talking, or I'm the reason he doesn't get to hang out with his friends, or I'm insecure and that's the reason I don't have a lot of friends. He has even called me the B-word, called me insecure, and basically everything I say is stupid to him. I constantly tell him that we need to communicate better, and I have asked him more than once to stop calling me names and not to make hateful comments towards me because it does nothing but make me mad and we have shouting contests at each other. The thing that bothers me is that everytime we argue, we stop talking to each other, and instead of trying to have closure to the argument, we just sweep everything under the rug and pretend nothing happened. When I do try to talk about things after we calm down, he says I constantly bring up the past and he doesn't want to talk. He can get over things fast, where I have to talk about problems to get over them. Since we don't talk, I have a lot of built up frustration towards him. But everytime I mention something, it turns into an argument because I "bring up the past." 

It makes me even more upset because he writes his friends (mostly female) online or he texts them all the time instead of wanting to talk to me. I have told him that it makes me uncomfortable that he is so friendly with other females. If I ask him about it, he says I'm insecure and he says I'm jealous of every female he talks to. Normally I wouldn't mind, but he's so much nicer to other people than me. He will jump through hoops to help someone else out, or patiently listen to his female friends complain about their problems, but if I bring something up to him, it turns into an argument. 

We have been to a counselor, but nothing has changed. We haven't been back because I feel it will be a waste of my time. I know everything a counselor says will go in one ear and out the other. He will act like he is listening, but will go back to his old ways of not communicating with me. I don't feel he is cheating on me, but he expects me to be happy with a marraige that has no communication. If he is happy that we don't talk, then he feels I should be happy, and he makes me feel like I'm out of line for trying to talk to him. He is not showing me any signs that he is willing to change the way we talk (or don't talk) to each other. We've had so many arguments and he has said so many hurtful things to me (with no apology).

After almost 2 years of this, I am at a point where I don't care to talk to him anymore. Now I don't care about trying to improve our communication because I feel I have exhausted all my options. I care for him, but he is losing my love. I really don't know what to do...


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Talking to females online is a huge Red Flag! He may be involved in an EA. There is no reason for him to treat you like this after only 2 years of marriage. Honestly, it sounds like he doesnt even like you. How is your sex life?


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

How old are you guys? He sounds like a high schooler, lining up his next honey dip before leaving you


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Why is he even married to you if he doesnt even want to talk to you? I agree with Lori, he doesnt even seem to like you. Well, since you are to the point you dont want to talk to him...DONT. It will make it that easy to get yourself together and leave him.


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## Raine1234 (Jun 5, 2013)

LoriC: Our sex life isn't that great. When we were dating it was really great, but it seems like he's just gotten lazy. I suggested we try different things, and he agrees to them at the time, but we never end up doing anything new. It's gotten to the point now where I don't want sex from him because it doesn't last long and there is no passion involved. 

Pictureless: He is 23 and I am 27. It really does feel like I married a high school kid sometimes. He didn't act this way when we were dating. He seemed mature for his age and he acted nice and sweet. 


3Xnocharm: I ask him this all the time! I tell him I have no idea why he married me if he doesn't like talking. He just says he married me because he wanted to be with me. I also say he should have married someone who doesn't like spending quality time, someone more like him and he hates when I say this. He just tells me if he wanted to be with someone else he would, but he married me because he wants me.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

Did he talk to you while you were dating & just stopped when you got married? It would be one thing if he didn't talk to anybody, but you said he talks to other girls instead of you.

Seriously?

I am so very sorry but this man is not a good husband for you. Because you are so young without any children, have tried counseling & it failed, I don't see any good reason to stay in this marriage.


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