# Wanting to find some answers :(



## wantmyselfback (Jan 11, 2012)

I've never posted on one of these sites before so it's new to me..I feel like i shouldn't even be posting I should be happy with every aspect of my life I have a wonderful husband,caring family and friends but I can't shake the feelings I have. For awhile now I have lost desire to do anything "private" with my husband, it's not that I'm not attracted to him I am more and more every day but it seems like I have no desire to do anything at all no matter what i do, and i know it frustrates him and it makes me feel so bad because i really don't know what's going on and wish i could fix it. I have struggled with depression most of my life and very low self esteem, I have tryed several thing's to boost it up thinking it will help some but no luck yet. I just don't feel smart enough and feel like I look good enough for him, he's so smart and handsome and i feel like since we got married I have left myself go because i used to be really fit and fixed myself up when I met him now i just have no desire to do those things anymore. I'm the type of person I always compare myself to everyone and never think i measure up to them,I haven't done alot in my life and i don't feel like I have any talents in anything..I know it may seem like i'm looking for sympathy but i'm really not I just wanna get my old life and self back I guess what i'm getting at is was wondering if there was anyone else out there who is struggling through the same thing and maybe have some advice for someone who want's there old self back.Thanks


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

wantmyselfback said:


> I've never posted on one of these sites before so it's new to me..I feel like i shouldn't even be posting I should be happy with every aspect of my life I have a wonderful husband,caring family and friends but I can't shake the feelings I have. For awhile now I have lost desire to do anything "private" with my husband, it's not that I'm not attracted to him I am more and more every day but it seems like I have no desire to do anything at all no matter what i do, and i know it frustrates him and it makes me feel so bad because i really don't know what's going on and wish i could fix it. I have struggled with depression most of my life and very low self esteem, I have tryed several thing's to boost it up thinking it will help some but no luck yet. I just don't feel smart enough and feel like I look good enough for him, he's so smart and handsome and i feel like since we got married I have left myself go because i used to be really fit and fixed myself up when I met him now i just have no desire to do those things anymore. I guess what i'm getting at is was wondering if there was anyone else out there who is struggling through the same thing and maybe have some advice for someone who want's there old self back.Thanks


I think that your answer is most likely in your post.
1)	Depression
2)	You do not feel good about your looks
3)	Low self esteem
You sound depressed in that you have no desire to take care of yourself. .. a sure sign. Low self esteem is also a sign of depression. See a doctor about some meds for depression. Ask if they can prescribe something that is not likely to diminish your libido. Wellbutrin is a good one for that. It actually makes a lot of people want more sex.

Get exercise. It helps reduce depression and helps lose weight. If you are not a big person for exercise. Start with a 30 minute walk each day. And build up to longer walks, or 2-3 short walks a day.
By the say, sex is a wonderful workout. Having sex 2 times a week for a year is equivalent to running 90 miles a year. Can’t beat that one for exercise.

And start doing things to make yourself look good.

If you are interested in a book, take a look at “Change Your Brain, Change Your Body” by Dr. Amen


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## sarah1003 (Jan 11, 2012)

IF you love your husband and feel its worth your marriage you should seek any and all medications/therapy etc that may be needed. When is the lat time you had a vacation? perhaps with some girlfriends?inorder to give yourself some space and to rethink your life and marriage.


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

i dont have any solid advice for you, but i know how you feel. i have no sex drive and i used to get all dolled up for my guy but now i just dont have it in me. im also depressed but i dont know that thats entirely it. i wonder why we lose that interest in getting dolled up for someone that we still want to keep? maybe the honeymoon is over, idk. i also compare myself to others, its self torture really because i feel everyone else is smarter, prettier, make better, more normal decisions that get them places in the world. i feel less than.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

animal 2011 said:


> i dont have any solid advice for you, but i know how you feel. i have no sex drive and i used to get all dolled up for my guy but now i just dont have it in me. im also depressed but i dont know that thats entirely it. i wonder why we lose that interest in getting dolled up for someone that we still want to keep? maybe the honeymoon is over, idk. i also compare myself to others, its self torture really because i feel everyone else is smarter, prettier, make better, more normal decisions that get them places in the world. i feel less than.


Have you seen a doctor to deal with your depression? Depression makes a person not want to take care of themselves.


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## animal 2011 (Aug 9, 2011)

i took celexa for about a year and i think i got better, i stopped taking it. now a year later, im depressed again


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

animal 2011 said:


> i took celexa for about a year and i think i got better, i stopped taking it. now a year later, im depressed again


Did you stop with your doctor's ok?

Sounds like you need to go back on the meds. Why wait?


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## MCook (Jan 11, 2012)

x2 on the exercise. Exercises release endorphins into your body that will help you feel better. Its not easy at first, but it only takes 2 weeks to become a habit! 

The exercise will also help promote a positive self image, and thus increase your self esteem, a KEY in dealing with depression.


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## wantmyselfback (Jan 11, 2012)

Thank you all for your help. Things have been getting better just need to work on myself more and believe in myself more


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