# Do you truly like giving oral?



## lilbitoluv

I am really curious how other women feel about this. Oral sex is such a huge deal it seems these days. If in a relationship and you are not into it, it could be a real deal breaker. My guy says I don't do it enough, but I am not really very motivated to. I have my moments when I want to but most times I rather not. Do you do it because you actually enjoy it, or because it is a request from your partner that you really can't escape? What motivates you to do it?


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## arbitrator

*As a male, my entire motivation on performing oral sex on my SO comes strictly from my enduring love for them and for making them feel as completely loved and sexually satisfied as I possibly can!

And while I adore having it performed upon me by her, if given my druthers, I'd much rather be performing on her because there is a certain "high" to be derived from watching her writhe in sheer ecstasy, knowing that I am instrumental in making it happen to her! *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richardsharpe

Good evening
I know you were hoping for more responses from women, but I'm another guy. I don't think the English language is good at expressing how I feel about doing oral.

I do not get physical pleasure from doing it, but I very much enjoy doing it because she enjoys it. I view it as a favor / gift. Its something nice I can do for the person I love.

Sadly she doesn't reciprocate. She doesn't enjoy doing it, and apparently doesn't feel the same way about "gifts".


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## Beepbeep

Im a female and I agree with arbitrator. My husband never really requests things, so I really only do it when I feel the desire. It took me a while to get to the point where I like performing oral, but now I love it because I know how it makes him feel. It really turns me on. Something that helps is if he is laying down, me on my knees at his side, and he plays with me too...


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## LonelyinLove

I love to do it...I love the expression on his face and that I am providing this pleasure for him.


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## lucy999

lilbitoluv said:


> I am really curious how other women feel about this. Oral sex is such a huge deal it seems these days. If in a relationship and you are not into it, it could be a real deal breaker. My guy says I don't do it enough, but I am not really very motivated to. I have my moments when I want to but most times I rather not. Do you do it because you actually enjoy it, or because it is a request from your partner that you really can't escape? What motivates you to do it?


I enjoy the crap out of it. I really do. It turns me on immensely and I enjoy giving my BF pleasure. I also feel quite powerful. To know that my mere mouth and tongue can take him on a pleasure trip is well, a trip. :grin2:

That said, it certainly helps that he manscapes.


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## Beepbeep

^^manscaping and hygiene in general are important!! I guess for both parties!


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## Faithful Wife

For me it depends on the partner. I have not enjoyed it with all of my partners but definitely enjoy it with my current husband.


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## SecondTime'Round

Truly enjoy it, as in crave it when I'm not in a relationship, like the way I crave kissing, snuggling, sex? No. Not at all.


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## tornado

Another guy here. I enjoy giving and receiving immensely, I actually would rather have oral sex than piv sometimes. My wife doesn't much care for giving or receiving, so it doesn't happen much and seems even less the older we get. I personally don't see the big hang up, why not enjoy something that gives your loved one so much pleasure. 

ETA. 
I think my wife's thinking on the situation is she doesn't want me giving her oral much, so if she gives oral she sees it as "nothing in it for her"


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## Fozzy

Who's that on the horizon, heading this way?

Why, it's @Methuselah !


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## SecondTime'Round

tornado said:


> Another guy here. I enjoy giving and receiving immensely, I actually would rather have oral sex than piv sometimes. My wife doesn't much care for giving or receiving, so it doesn't happen much and seems even less the older we get. *I personally don't see the big hang up, why not enjoy something that gives your loved one so much pleasure. *
> 
> ETA.
> I think my wife's thinking on the situation is she doesn't want me giving her oral much, so if she gives oral she sees it as "nothing in it for her"


I wouldn't say I actually have any hang ups about it, but it's not the thing I love doing the most because I've always had a lot of oral aversions ever since I was little. You should have seen the drama production in my household when my mother tried to get my sister or me to take cough medicine! I've just always been picky about the taste and consistency of what's in my mouth, and I don't find semen palatable . 

I also have TMJ, so it can hurt my jaw after a while.


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## ConanHub

Fozzy said:


> Who's that on the horizon, heading this way?
> 
> Why, it's @Methuselah !


LOL! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator

SecondTime'Round said:


> I wouldn't say I actually have any hang ups about it, but it's not the thing I love doing the most because I've always had a lot of oral aversions ever since I was little. You should have seen the drama production in my household when my mother tried to get my sister or me to take cough medicine! I've just always been picky about the taste and consistency of what's in my mouth, and I don't find semen palatable .
> 
> I also have TMJ, so it can hurt my jaw after a while.


*Try techniques that don't require a lot of work or stress on your part. And while it is certainly awesome to be contained orally when in the ecstatic throes of having an orgasm, there is no hard and steadfast rule that you absolutely have to swallow, as there are two other notable ways that you can deal with it!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tornado

SecondTime'Round said:


> tornado said:
> 
> 
> 
> Another guy here. I enjoy giving and receiving immensely, I actually would rather have oral sex than piv sometimes. My wife doesn't much care for giving or receiving, so it doesn't happen much and seems even less the older we get. *I personally don't see the big hang up, why not enjoy something that gives your loved one so much pleasure. *
> 
> ETA.
> I think my wife's thinking on the situation is she doesn't want me giving her oral much, so if she gives oral she sees it as "nothing in it for her"
> 
> 
> 
> I wouldn't say I actually have any hang ups about it, but it's not the thing I love doing the most because I've always had a lot of oral aversions ever since I was little. You should have seen the drama production in my household when my mother tried to get my sister or me to take cough medicine! I've just always been picky about the taste and consistency of what's in my mouth, and I don't find semen palatable
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> .
> 
> I also have TMJ, so it can hurt my jaw after a while.
Click to expand...


I wouldn't imagine it's very palatable either, but hey I read that's it's great for your skin.


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## SecondTime'Round

arbitrator said:


> *Try techniques that don't require a lot of work or stress on your part. And while it is certainly awesome to be contained orally when in the ecstatic throes of having an orgasm, there is no hard and steadfast rule that you absolutely have to swallow, as there are two other notable ways that you can deal with it!*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh, I have never, and probably will never swallow. But not all of the bodily fluid stays completely contained in that little ****** until the end!


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## gouge_away

I have a lingual frenulum surgery scheduled to extend my tongue's range of motion.

Yes I enjoy giving oral.
Receiving it, not so much...


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## Holland

Like Lucy I love the power trip of giving. That is just one part though, I actually love to worship his d.ick and make him feel all manly and hot. It turns me on the give him BJ and as it is 99% of the time to completion/swallow then I do it knowing there won't be PIV for a little while but he will usually then reciprocate. Actually I prefer to give him a NSA BJ, that puts one hell of a smile on my face.

I get oral most days and most of the time it is multi orgasmic, he is one hell of a fine man.


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## Happilymarried25

I don't really enjoy giving my husband oral sex it doesn't do anything for me sexually, I do it because he enjoys it. It's like cleaning and doing laundry. It's just something I do. I think there are lot of women who don't perform oral sex on their husbands because I see a lot of posts from men here who want oral sex but their wife won't do it. I think if their husbands are performing oral sex and them they should reciprocate even if it's not something they enjoy doing.


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## SunnyT

It's just another really sexy part of the whole sexual experience.... every night. Why not pleasure your man (or your woman) in a way that feels awesome to them? Why cut out sexy things as opposed to adding sexy things to play time? I can't imagine NOT indulging..... for both of us. It's just part of the pleasure package.


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## GettingIt_2

I love giving my husband BJ's. It's a huge sexual turn on for me. I love it the most when he tells me he wants one. Sometimes I desperately want to, and it will be obvious that I want to, but I won't do it until he actually tells me to. 

Love it the most when I'm in bed and we're cuddling and I'm almost asleep and it wasn't even on my mind and he says, "before you drift off I want you to suck my c*ck." 

I can feel something just twisting in my gut and I can't say no. Yum. 

Don't like it when he hints and beats around the bush. You want you c*ck sucked, then tell me to suck your c*ck!


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## gouge_away

GettingIt said:


> You want you c*ck sucked, then tell me to suck your c*ck!


Wait for it...


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## WorkingOnMe

lilbitoluv said:


> Oral sex is such a huge deal it seems these days. If in a relationship and you are not into it, it could be a real deal breaker.



Very true. I'll tell you this; after 44 years of experience I would not even consider a woman for a minute who doesn't love it. It's not a deal breaker for everyone but it is for me. All the way to the enthusiastic swallow.


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## luvinhim

Do you truly like giving oral?

Yes, and I like anal and I like receiving and I like talking dirty and I like piv and I like it all. What I cannot get my guy to understand that I don't like doing those things all the time. My internal dial is not always on wild cat sexy beast. Sometimes I just want plain old vanilla sex.


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## OnTheFly

gouge_away said:


> Wait for it...


Ok, I admit, I lol'd at this!!! She served up a soft ball and GA knocked it out of the park.


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## gouge_away

OnTheFly said:


> Ok, I admit, I lol'd at this!!! She served up a soft ball and GA knocked it out of the park.


It seems neither you or I feel like getting hit with the ban bat tonight...


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## Illbehisfoolagain

I really love giving head. It turns me on so much. I enjoy receiving much less than I do giving.


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## lilbitoluv

It's not that I'm totally against it. I just prefer to do it when I am in the mood. I don't like for him to request it. It feels like a duty when he does. If I'm not in the mood to do it he starts to feel a way. I just don't need that kind of pressure. Oral sex is indeed VERY intimate and can also feel degrading to women. It goes above and beyond regular sex. In order to really enjoy it the giver should be enthusiastic about it or what's the point? I'd much rather you be gadfly about it than consider it a chore. I dint think he minds that I consider it a chore

It also didn't help that I gave him the best head of his life when we went away on a lil vacation. Ever since then he always recalls that night and how he wants it just like that. I was feeling particularly horny because of alcohol so nights like that for me are not often. I was afraid of doing it too well and then not being able to escape doing it. 

Also we are not married which is another hang up I have.I do feel like certain things only a husband had the right to request of a woman. The whole swallowing thing is never going to happen ever in life. Not with me. There is absolutely no way, I can't even believe men actually request that!


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## RandomDude

A woman who won't let me go down on her -> Bye bye!

I love it too much, in fact I can get off doing it, having a woman so vulnerable to you, arching her back moaning in pleasure... I don't really get how some folks consider it degrading


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## Cosmos

I've always taken absolute delight in pleasuring my partner orally, but since coming to TAM I can certainly understand why some women might have an aversion to it... The entitlement minded, vulgar attitude towards it by some here has always made me queasy...


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## lilbitoluv

Yes. Once I told my bf that my stomach was bothering me because sometimes I have issues and he is well aware of that, and he said "well is your MOUTH sick too?" I snapped at him and told him that the way he comes across when he says things like that, will ensure that he never gets it from me. It has always been the go-to way to disrespect a woman where I'm from and so for men to think that we should automatically take pleasure in doing it is pretty ridiculous and should be understandable. Putting it in the mouth is not the same as putting it anywhere else. Babies come out of vaginas not our mouth.


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## Married but Happy

We love making each other sexually satisfied - occasionally, only one of us is the focus. As for BJs, I rarely ask for one, but often get one - probably one or more wonderful, gratuitous BJs a week. So, I'd say her attitude indicates that she enjoys giving them.


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## thefam

> Love it the most when I'm in bed and we're cuddling and I'm almost asleep and it wasn't even on my mind and he says, "before you drift off I want you to suck my c*ck."


That would be so hot. My H rarely asks for one but I LOVE giving them. I really prefer NSA bj's to completion because it just makes me feel like a sex goddess to see his reaction. 

However in your case OP nope it ain't no way I'm putting somebody’s c0ck in my mouth that's not my husband. I know I'm probably a minority of one on this but that's not me. I'm not judging anybody else who does but it has to be the highest level of commitment to each other before I can be that intimate. But even if that was to change his comment about "there's nothing wrong with your mouth" would make me feel some type of way about future bj's for him. If he's a good guy overall I could get past it but if it bothered you yall should have a talk. 

My pregnant brain cannot figure out Gouge Away's "wait for it" joke.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round

thefam said:


> My pregnant brain cannot figure out Gouge Away's "wait for it" joke.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm almost 13 years post-partum and I don't get it either!


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## thefam

Cosmos said:


> I've always taken absolute delight in pleasuring my partner orally, but since coming to TAM I can certainly understand why some women might have an aversion to it... The entitlement minded, vulgar attitude towards it by some here has always made me queasy...


Yeah. I absolutely LOVE giving them but absolutely do not think it is something a woman should do if she doesn't want to. To me being pressured into giving one is what takes it to the level of degradation. Sure, talk about it if it's important to you and ask her thoughts about good or bad and express yours. But if she's not comfortable with it then back off.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lila

I'm with @lucy999 on this one, it's about the power. My H is very stoic and controlled. I absolutely love watching him lose his control and bjs are the best way to do that. 

But I'll be honest....I probably wouldn't enjoy giving them so much if he asked for it or he didn't enjoy them to the extent that he does (usually he won't last more than 5 minutes with a bj). It also helps that I trust him not to finish in my mouth.


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## lilbitoluv

We had a talk about it but in truth, I don't plan on doing it again anytime soon. Not to mention the last time two times i did it i was the initiator and he did not return the favor just prove a point, but i dont play those games. I let him know i was aware of his actions and i wasnt happy about it. I have really been trying to be more open in this relationship but if he keeps it up we wont last thru the year. Im coming up on a new world of freedom soon and i refuse to let him hold me back.


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## lilbitoluv

Where I come from we don't do the swallowing thing. I can tolerate the pre but i don't know why men find it such a big deal if you don't want them to finish in your mouth. I mean come on! besides. I think more women might consider it at least once if you tried it first. have you? I think if you more men did they would sthu about it


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## arbitrator

lilbitoluv said:


> Where I come from we don't do the swallowing thing. I can tolerate the pre but i don't know why men find it such a big deal if you don't want them to finish in your mouth. I mean come on! besides. I think more women might consider it at least once if you tried it first. have you? I think if you more men did they would sthu about it


*If "swallowing" seems to be the major concern, then try using those pleasantly "flavored" oral condoms*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GettingIt_2

gouge_away said:


> It seems neither you or I feel like getting hit with the ban bat tonight...


You guys, I don't get it . . . despite my user name! Somebody tell me what's going on! If what I said felt like a bait, I sincerely didn't mean it that way. 

I really didn't mean that guys should be jerks about it . . . was just giving my own preferences for within my safe, sane, consensual and GGG marriage. I'm into heavy domination so no it's not gonna work for every gal!


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## lilbitoluv

Swallowing is not a concern for me. Im not doing it and thats the end of it. No room for discussion on that unless maybe I'm married. And I wouldn't dare promise that to my husband. Also, if I have to dress it up and flavor it, I probably shouldn't put it in my mouth. How about you all don't ask for it? If i hear one more man say "it's good for your skin" or It's a good source of protein' I'll scream.


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## lilbitoluv

Yeah most women are probably not into domination like that. So that approach is probably not the best lol


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## GettingIt_2

lilbitoluv said:


> Yeah most women are probably not into domination like that. So that approach is probably not the best lol


No--certainly not for every woman. But there was a time when I wasn't into oral. It's always been a part of our sex life, but it wasn't until we explored it together and figured out what worked for both of us that it really took off as this thing I love. 

And I came to love it because of the patience and understanding and (and incredible skills of reciprocation) of my husband. Yes I knew he loved it all along, but he never pressured me, never demanded I swallow, never gave me ultimatums, never made it a condition of a good marriage.

And now he gets it when he wants it and how he wants it from a woman who is very enthusiastic. I guess you could say he earned it.


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## SimplyAmorous

arbitrator said:


> *As a male, my entire motivation on performing oral sex on my SO comes strictly from my enduring love for them and for making them feel as completely loved and sexually satisfied as I possibly can!
> 
> And while I adore having it performed upon me by her, if given my druthers, I'd much rather be performing on her because there is a certain "high" to be derived from watching her writhe in sheer ecstasy, knowing that I am instrumental in making it happen to her! *
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Isn't it meant to this way.. I say this so often -reading your posts arbitrator....this is all my husband....(even if I rarely orgasm from it.. what I love the most is his WANT to go there.. his craving is a huge turn on to me).. 

I feel this same way about giving to him... for a time.. It got me so horny...I didn't even need touched...just thinking about it.. oh my







... now it takes a little more than that - to get me going.. 

I love everything about the act of sex, intimacy.. there is no place I'd rather be.. as he's gotten older... orally massaging the rod is a sure fire way to get him going... Feeling his excitement..this is what fires mine.... now we're both really into it.. 

Though for us.. the BJ is mostly foreplay...he always wants me to get mine.. 

My husband is not one who would ever ask or push for one.. looking back when I wasn't comfortable going there.. I can't understand why he didn't do more to help me overcome..those days are long past..

I know my wanting to go there -pursuing it.. this Ups something in him.. I want him to feel deeply loved/ CRAVED in this way..

I think the man's attitude.. how he shows his Pleasure in delighting in us, pleasing us.. this is a huge aspect to our wanting to please him... if it feels one sided...it makes sense the act is going to grow cold for us... 

When it's a "*His pleasure is my pleasure*" going on.. a "*Her pleasure is my utopia, my heaven*"... it makes all the difference... in what should be a mutually satisfying act of love or at least Erotic passion. 

...and I used to be one who had inhibitions here.. go figure..


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## arbitrator

*And while it has been extremely rare that I have ever been brought off orally in any of my sexual experiences, and even when I knew that I was being brought to the pre-orgasmic "point of no return," I've almost always unilaterally stopped that oral activity being so fastidiously performed on me in favor of finishing up PIV, because to finish my orgasm that way had always been my preeminent piece de resistance!

So from that perspective, oral has almost always been a lead up to the grand finale!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gouge_away

GettingIt said:


> You guys, I don't get it . . . despite my user name! Somebody tell me what's going on! If what I said felt like a bait, I sincerely didn't mean it that way.
> 
> I really didn't mean that guys should be jerks about it . . . was just giving my own preferences for within my safe, sane, consensual and GGG marriage. I'm into heavy domination so no it's not gonna work for every gal!


"Wait for it..." Is a popular internet meme, when you anticipate something is about to amusingly go wrong for somebody else.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/wait-for-it


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## SecondTime'Round

gouge_away said:


> "Wait for it..." Is a popular internet meme, when you anticipate something is about to amusingly go wrong for somebody else.
> Wait For It... | Know Your Meme


Knew that, but wasn't sure why it was perceived that things were going to go south! 

On another note, how do you pronounce meme? Yesterday I told my daughter she should make a meme out of a funny pic she took of her horse and she told me I was pronouncing it wrong. I'm pretty sure I'm right!

She also told me my idea for the meme was lame.


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## SecondTime'Round

arbitrator said:


> * to finish my orgasm that way had always been my preeminent piece de resistance!
> 
> !*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:rofl:


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## gouge_away

SecondTime'Round said:


> Knew that, but wasn't sure why it was perceived that things were going to go south!
> 
> On another note, how do you pronounce meme? Yesterday I told my daughter she should make a meme out of a funny pic she took of her horse and she told me I was pronouncing it wrong. I'm pretty sure I'm right!
> 
> She also told me my idea for the meme was lame.


I don't know how it is pronounced, 'mim,' meem.

Still waiting in suspense for the punchline. Either somebody needs to say it here, or come back and tell us how, "suck my c0ck" worked out for them...


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## lucy999

Re: swallowing. I'm sorry. I just can't do it. In my mouth is okay, anywhere else is super hot, but I've swallowed twice in my life and I just can't. I think it has more to do with my aversion to certain textures in food and how spunk is similar to those foods I avoid lol. It's not necessarily the taste. Oh, BTW, it numbed my mouth both times. Two different men. 

Fortunately, it's not a dealbreaker for my BF.:smile2:


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## GettingIt_2

gouge_away said:


> "Wait for it..." Is a popular internet meme, when you anticipate something is about to amusingly go wrong for somebody else.
> Wait For It... | Know Your Meme


Well I know what the meme means, but I just wasn't sure why it was used after my post was quoted. At first I thought my post was being interpreted as a bait, but I tried to clear that up. And then I saw that the "wait for it" was a joke, but I don't get it. 

I think I might be having a dense day--usually I keep up much better! 



gouge_away said:


> Still waiting in suspense for the punchline. Either somebody needs to say it here, or come back and tell us how, "suck my c0ck" worked out for them...


OMG I'm so clueless. Was someone going to try that?

I wouldn't recommend "suck my c0ck" unless it's pre-negotiated or you know your partner's style REALLY REALLY well!

Jeeze I don't wanna feel responsible for some guy getting his d!ck ripped off!


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## MJJEAN

lilbitoluv said:


> I am really curious how other women feel about this. Oral sex is such a huge deal it seems these days. If in a relationship and you are not into it, it could be a real deal breaker. My guy says I don't do it enough, but I am not really very motivated to. I have my moments when I want to but most times I rather not. Do you do it because you actually enjoy it, or because it is a request from your partner that you really can't escape? What motivates you to do it?


I do it because I like it! I love the combination dominance and submissiveness. I love knowing I have the power to create intense sensation and make him unable to think. I love playing the orgasm denial game...get him close and keep him turned on, but not allowing orgasm until I decide to. I like his taste and texture and there is just something so arousing and primal and intimate about the finish, ya know?

The only downside is that, mens limitations being what they are, he's out of commission for a bit afterward.


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## Runs like Dog

I public? Yesyesyesyes!


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## OnTheFly

GettingIt said:


> Well I know what the meme means, but I just wasn't sure why it was used after my post was quoted.


It was a well timed joke……..and now…..it's a boring, drawn out discussion. Way to ruin it! (j/k) Seriously though, it's best to let it fade into the ether.


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## heartsbeating

What motivates me to do it?

It turns me on to turn him on. He's sexy - we're sexy together. I enjoy giving him pleasure. I also like keeping him on his toes (not literally) and having fun with it.

And who I am to deny him the enjoyment of giving me oral pleasure too? 


...but each to their own.


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## GettingIt_2

I sometimes find giving oral to my husband sort of . . . well, comforting. 

Yes, I love giving him sexual pleasure, I love the way it turns me on, I like knowing I'm good at it and that he'll tell me exactly what he wants in a dominant way. 

But sometimes when I feel messy inside and I can't sleep, or I've had a busy day and my mind is racing, or if he and I have been feeling emotionally off or there is tension between us, I just want to give him a blow job. It's almost not even a sexual thing so much as it is a self-soothing mechanism. 

It seems to "reset" me or us in a way that puts my mind completely at rest and quells emotions that are bouncing around beyond my ability to process productively. 

When I feel this way I'll ask him if I can suck his c0ck so that I can sleep and, ha ha, he's of course more than willing to help me out. 

I dunno. It's sort of hard to explain. Sex and sexual activity can serve a lot of different purposes for me. I used to think it was only for when I was turned on/horny, but then I discovered that wasn't actually the case. It's really helpful in moderating my emotions and making me feel secure in my relationship with my husband. I do talk to him about this because I was afraid he'd feel "used" if it wasn't always about me being horny, but he really seem to get that's not always the case for me, and he's fine with that.


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## janesmith

that is beautiful he understands your needs like that. i understand exactly what you mean


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## janesmith

i have a personal relationship with my husbands d*ck. We have spent a lot of time getting to k now each other and figuring out what we both need. dont laugh. its true. i love nothing than to lay in this dudes lap watching tv with him in my mouth. I love the way he feels and smells. the scorching heat against my check when his d*ck and I cuddle. All the different textures of each part of him against my tongue. His skin has so many unique scents depending on where im putting my nose at the time. one of my favorite spots to spend time is between his legs. it is where i feel the most intensity from my feminine core. not only am i completely in control but completely submissive at the same time.


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## SecondTime'Round

intheory said:


> I can relate to a lot of what @GettingIt and @janesmith are saying.
> 
> I love to give oral sex to my husband. And I love to taste and swallow. I actually have to ask him nowadays; his interest in sex is at an all time low.
> 
> There is something so masculine about it obviously. But isn't that sufficient reason if you are attracted to men?
> 
> But there's this other emotional thing that I can't explain; I feel so close to him. I sort of think of his penis as a nipple, in a way. I know that sounds a little weird. I just don't know how else to explain it. And I like that when I drink him, it goes into my body and is absorbed and becomes part of me.
> 
> I was a little reluctant to say that. But, it's just that it's kind of selfish on my part really. I get a lot of comfort and security from doing it.
> 
> However, my H does not shove or thrust or ever try to choke or hurt me. So, I'm very fortunate that way.
> 
> I kind of wonder, like @Cosmos, if a lot more women would do it, if they didn't feel like they were being forced to, or if their guy accepted her doing it in a way that felt physically comfortable.


No offense to your man (or you), but that made me gag when I read that!! :surprise: :rofl:

I'm obviously not in the same camp.


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## lilbitoluv

Ugh. Something is either going to change or it's going to end. It's just that simple. Thanks for all your input everyone


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## GettingIt_2

janesmith said:


> *it is where i feel the most intensity from my feminine core.* not only am i completely in control but completely submissive at the same time.


Jane, I GET this. I get it so, so much. 

And the bolded?--yes, a thousand times yes. 

I am so happy to see some other woman feel like this. It feels so hard to explain.


----------



## janesmith

there are not many wives in my circle who feel as I do especially after being married as long as I have been. giving oral is a chore. to me its a way to worship him. now part of the reason I get to love on him so much this way, is that he does not insist on finishing in my mouth, which allows me to fully enjoy him ( i just cant, dont judge me, lol). So It feels good to be able to share with other women who feel as I do, especially ones in touch with their submissive nature.


----------



## janesmith

intheory said:


> I can relate to a lot of what @GettingIt and @janesmith are saying.
> 
> I love to give oral sex to my husband. And I love to taste and swallow. I actually have to ask him nowadays; his interest in sex is at an all time low.
> 
> There is something so masculine about it obviously. But isn't that sufficient reason if you are attracted to men?
> 
> But there's this other emotional thing that I can't explain; I feel so close to him. I sort of think of his penis as a nipple, in a way. I know that sounds a little weird. I just don't know how else to explain it. And I like that when I drink him, it goes into my body and is absorbed and becomes part of me.
> 
> I was a little reluctant to say that. But, it's just that it's kind of selfish on my part really. I get a lot of comfort and security from doing it.
> 
> However, my H does not shove or thrust or ever try to choke or hurt me. So, I'm very fortunate that way.
> 
> I kind of wonder, like @Cosmos, if a lot more women would do it, if they didn't feel like they were being forced to, or if their guy accepted her doing it in a way that felt physically comfortable.


not weird at all. a d*ck can be very comforting in a lot of ways without ever going near a vagina


----------



## SecondTime'Round

janesmith said:


> there are not many wives in my circle who feel as I do especially after being married as long as I have been. giving oral is a chore. to me its a way to worship him. now part of the reason I get to love on him so much this way, is that he does not insist on finishing in my mouth, which allows me to fully enjoy him ( i just cant, dont judge me, lol). So It feels good to be able to share with other women who feel as I do, especially ones in touch with their submissive nature.


I'm uncomfortable with using the word "worship" when it comes to another human being, or any part of their body.


----------



## janesmith

thats okay. it was my expression of my feeling of joy and love towards my husband. not everyone uses language the same way.


----------



## gouge_away

SecondTime'Round said:


> I'm uncomfortable with using the word "worship" when it comes to another human being, or any part of their body.


Even your spouse?
Is sex not a simile of worship?
Just like adultery is to idolatry.
And marriage is to God's relationship to mankind.


----------



## SecondTime'Round

gouge_away said:


> Even your spouse?
> Is sex not a simile of worship?
> Just like idolatry is a simile of adultery.
> And marriage is a simile of God's relationship to mankind.


To me, if you worship something, you are inferior to it. They are up on a pedestal and I don't think it's healthy to put any human being on a pedestal like that. Just my interpretation. I can love deeply without worshiping someone, without putting them on a pedestal.

Adoration would be a word I'd be more comfortable using. Worship is just too all encompassing, too "big" a word to assign to a human or object.


----------



## janesmith

wow, you ladies feel really strongly about this...hey I can dig it. i still worship the hell out of this dude


----------



## SecondTime'Round

janesmith said:


> wow, you ladies feel really strongly about this...hey I can dig it. i still worship the hell out of this dude


LOL!!! Carry on!  :x


----------



## Mrs.Submission

I love giving oral to my husband. I'm glad that I'm at this point because I hated oral in the past due to some unresolved sexual trauma. 

My husband and I both get off on pleasing each other. I love seeing my husband throw his head back in ecstasy when I go down on him. 

Since I love to receive oral, I believe that it would be unfair to expect that and be unwilling to return the favor.


----------



## Mrs.Submission

janesmith said:


> thats okay. it was my expression of my feeling of joy and love towards my husband. not everyone uses language the same way.


High five! We think the same way.


----------



## janesmith

I dont know about you guys, but when i look down at the top of this dudes head and know he is completely focused on my pleasure, i sure do feel worshiped.


----------



## Mrs.Submission

janesmith said:


> I dont know about you guys, but when i look down at the top of this dudes head and know he is completely focused on my pleasure, i sure do feel worshiped.


Me too!


----------



## Buddy400

My advice regarding relationships is that each person needs to be genuinely concerned about the happiness of their partner.

I think that giving NSA Blowjobs is something that happens if a wife is genuinely concerned about her husband's happiness.

Only doing it when she feels like it or if she "gets something out of it" or if she is "motivated to do it" is not consistent with this advice.

Of course, this assumes that one's husband is genuinely concerned about her happiness as well.

My wife claims to actively enjoy it. But I think it's because she enjoys giving me pleasure and it's being intimate with me.

I asked her if she feels a husband should ask for it or just wait until it is offered. Her answer: "of course he should ask. How else would she know that he wanted one?".

I know that in my case (unreciprocated oral on her), I'd much rather she ask so that I know she wants it. One of the hottest things she's ever done was come home and say "Do me!". That doesn't happen often enough.

Blowjobs are the most effective way a wife can let her husband know how much she cares about him and his happiness.


----------



## frusdil

I LOVE giving my husband oral. I love everything about him - the feel of his skin, the smell of him...he's my warm blanket. I find his presence incredibly comforting. He loves giving it to me too. REALLY loves it...lol.

I'm in the no coming in mouth camp though...I tried it - it's like having a a mouthful of snot flung into your mouth. Eeeeew. I can't do it - so he leaves his mark on my boobs instead


----------



## SecondTime'Round

Personal said:


> Although I do enjoy them I wouldn't go as far as thinking or claiming that the provision of oral sex is the most effective way of letting ones husband know that one cares for them and their happiness.
> 
> Blowjobs are not the Holy Grail!


Thank you! 

Maybe it's just me, but as a woman, if my man said me giving him a blow job was THE most effective way of showing him I care about his happiness, I'd feel demeaned. I have a LOT more to offer than just my mouth and tongue.


----------



## heartsbeating

GettingIt said:


> I sometimes find giving oral to my husband sort of . . . well, comforting.


I found your thoughts to be refreshing and interesting. While I can't relate completely, I do agree that intimacy can be comforting. Closeness, focusing on him, being in the moment together; there's a replenishing quality with sexual intimacy.


----------



## GettingIt_2

heartsbeating said:


> I found your thoughts to be refreshing and interesting. While I can't relate completely, I do agree that intimacy can be comforting. Closeness, focusing on him, being in the moment together; there's a *replenishing quality* with sexual intimacy.


I like that word "replenishing." That is exactly the reason I want sex to stay healthy and strong in our marriage. I think its the reason I find it comforting sometimes--it can heal me, it can heal us. Our marriage almost didn't survive when our sexual intimacy dried up for a decade. We were so much less without it--as individuals and as a couple. When we are struggling or in conflict these days, I find myself wanting desperately to connect with him sexually. It smooths the path to successful intimacy in other parts of our relationship. 

I think that intimacy can happen in a lot of ways in marriage. Sometimes I don't know how to express my intense feelings of love and gratitude with intimate words or non sexual acts of service. They don't seem like quite enough. Focusing on his sexual pleasure while I'm feeling that intense love and gratitude, knowing that he is completely consumed in that moment with me--it's a way to feel uniquely connected to him, bonded to him. It's one of many ways I've found to feel close to him, but nothing else is quite like it. 

It's not that sex is *only* this to me, or always conscioulsy about this. Usually it's about desire and pleasure and fun. But when I unpack my desire and pleasure, there are interesting feelings underneath.


----------



## Buddy400

Personal said:


> A wife can still be genuinely concerned about her husband's happiness without providing no strings attached felatio.
> 
> *In a case of active disgust at the act, this may be so. But could I actively care about my wife's needs and not provide something that makes her happy because I "just don't get anything out of it"?*
> 
> I don't want oral sex from someone who doesn't want to give me oral sex.
> 
> *How do we interpret "doesn't want to give me oral sex"? Does not particularly enjoying the act but immensely enjoying giving me pleasure (so that the end result is that she "wants to") count? Should my wife accept my going to a flea market with her? I do it because I love her and like to spend time with her. I would never go to a flea market on my own. *
> 
> The impression I get, is that you don't believe your wife and are discounting what she tells you. Perhaps you might try believing her and enjoy what she offers without trying to divine ulterior motives.
> 
> *I'm not worried about it.*
> 
> There's nothing wrong with you and your wife being assertive with respect to your respective wants, one won't get far trying to mind read.
> 
> *Agreed*
> 
> Although I do enjoy them I wouldn't go as far as thinking or claiming that the provision of oral sex is the most effective way of letting ones husband know that one cares for them and their happiness.
> 
> *I think for many, it is.*
> 
> Blowjobs are not the Holy Grail!


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
how much that matters depends entirely on the precipitant.

For some men oral without finishing is fine. For some finishing in the mouth is critical. For some swallowing is critical.

None of these make "sense" - its just what people want. 

If your partner is happy with what you do, then all is great. 




lucy999 said:


> Re: swallowing. I'm sorry. I just can't do it. In my mouth is okay, anywhere else is super hot, but I've swallowed twice in my life and I just can't. I think it has more to do with my aversion to certain textures in food and how spunk is similar to those foods I avoid lol. It's not necessarily the taste. Oh, BTW, it numbed my mouth both times. Two different men.
> 
> Fortunately, it's not a dealbreaker for my BF.:smile2:


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
It can be the most effective way to show physical affection and intimacy (for some men). That is not to say that it is the only way or the most important thing you can do.

Your partner can have interesting conversations with other people, eat delicious food cooked by others, go to movies, play games, travel etc. These are all great things you can do in a relationship, but they are not unique to the relationship.

Sex (usually) only occurs in a relationship. Much sex is (and should be) mutual. I don't think its ever good to think of intercourse as something you do "for" your partner. It is something mutual that you both enjoy. 

But some sexual acts are "gifts", things you do so show your love. Oral and using hands are on this list. Everyone can use their own hands - but oral is unique - it is something they can only experience if YOU do it for them - a unique gift only you can give.

So, no I wouldn't trade my wife for a woman who gave me lots of BJs, but it would mean a lot to me if she did them. 




SecondTime'Round said:


> Thank you!
> 
> Maybe it's just me, but as a woman, if my man said me giving him a blow job was THE most effective way of showing him I care about his happiness, I'd feel demeaned. I have a LOT more to offer than just my mouth and tongue.


----------



## SecondTime'Round

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> It can be the most effective way to show physical affection and intimacy (for some men). That is not to say that it is the only way or the most important thing you can do.
> 
> Your partner can have interesting conversations with other people, eat delicious food cooked by others, go to movies, play games, travel etc. These are all great things you can do in a relationship, but they are not unique to the relationship.
> 
> Sex (usually) only occurs in a relationship. Much sex is (and should be) mutual. I don't think its ever good to think of intercourse as something you do "for" your partner. It is something mutual that you both enjoy.
> 
> But some sexual acts are "gifts", things you do so show your love. Oral and using hands are on this list. Everyone can use their own hands - but oral is unique - it is something they can only experience if YOU do it for them - a unique gift only you can give.
> 
> So, no I wouldn't trade my wife for a woman who gave me lots of BJs, but it would mean a lot to me if she did them.


I think we're saying the same thing.


----------



## Buddy400

Personal said:


> Blowjobs are not the Holy Grail!


No. But they are a lot more important to men than many women believe (or want to believe).


----------



## Buddy400

SecondTime'Round said:


> Thank you!
> 
> Maybe it's just me, but as a woman, if my man said me giving him a blow job was THE most effective way of showing him I care about his happiness, I'd feel demeaned. I have a LOT more to offer than just my mouth and tongue.


I have a LOT more to offer than watching 20/20 reruns and going to flea markets. Should I feel demeaned?


----------



## Buddy400

frusdil said:


> I'm in the no coming in mouth camp though...I tried it - .... I can't do it - so he leaves his mark on my boobs instead


A willingness to try it and an honest attempt counts for a lot in my book.



frusdil said:


> - it's like having a mouthful of snot flung into your mouth. Eeeeew.


I wouldn't appreciate the "snot" reference though.


----------



## SecondTime'Round

Buddy400 said:


> I have a LOT more to offer than watching 20/20 reruns and going to flea markets. Should I feel demeaned?


Is going to flea markets THE thing that brings her happiness in your relationship? If yes, then yes.

I'm not saying at all that people shouldn't do things for their partners that make them feel loved or bring them pleasure, including oral sex. But, if someone is basing their entire happiness with me on one sex act (or a willingness to go to flea markets), that's absolutely not the person for me.


----------



## Fozzy

SecondTime'Round said:


> Thank you!
> 
> Maybe it's just me, but as a woman, if my man said me giving him a blow job was THE most effective way of showing him I care about his happiness, I'd feel demeaned. I have a LOT more to offer than just my mouth and tongue.


THE most effective? Granted, probably not. But don't underestimate it. It can be VERY effective.

Caveat: the attitude behind it is what makes it effective.
Receiving oral from someone who makes it known they'd rather be doing anything else is just as likely to make the receiver feel demeaned as well.


----------



## Buddy400

SecondTime'Round said:


> Is going to flea markets THE thing that brings her happiness in your relationship? If yes, then yes.
> 
> I'm not saying at all that people shouldn't do things for their partners that make them feel loved or bring them pleasure, including oral sex. But, if someone is basing their entire happiness with me on one sex act (or a willingness to go to flea markets), that's absolutely not the person for me.


I CAN say that if I refused to watch TV with her unless it was something I really wanted to watch and refused to go places with her unless I really wanted to go there, that would significantly impact her happiness in our relationship.

I think that many women interpret this as meaning that this is the ONLY thing that matters to men. It isn't. But, it does matter.

And no, I wouldn't trade my wife for my wacko ex even if my wife never blew me and my ex did it daily.


----------



## tornado

Buddy400 said:


> SecondTime'Round said:
> 
> 
> 
> Is going to flea markets THE thing that brings her happiness in your relationship? If yes, then yes.
> 
> I'm not saying at all that people shouldn't do things for their partners that make them feel loved or bring them pleasure, including oral sex. But, if someone is basing their entire happiness with me on one sex act (or a willingness to go to flea markets), that's absolutely not the person for me.
> 
> 
> 
> I CAN say that if I refused to watch TV with her unless it was something I really wanted to watch and refused to go places with her unless I really wanted to go there, that would significantly impact her happiness in our relationship.
> 
> I think that many women interpret this as meaning that this is the ONLY thing that matters to men. It isn't. But, it does matter.
> 
> And no, I wouldn't trade my wife for my wacko ex even if my wife never blew me and my ex did it daily.
Click to expand...


I think to many people devalue sex acts. Your wife probably wouldn't consider you going to the flea market and her giving you a BJ the same thing. I really don't understand
That thinking though.
Maybe devalue isn't the word I'm looking for but I hope you understand the point I'm making.


----------



## SecondTime'Round

Buddy400 said:


> I think that many women interpret this as meaning that this is the ONLY thing that matters to men. It isn't. But, it does matter.


I don't think that, universally, men think that this is the only thing that matters, but I did think that of you based on what you said about it.


----------



## Buddy400

tornado said:


> I think to many people devalue sex acts.* Your wife probably wouldn't consider you going to the flea market and her giving you a BJ the same thing*. I really don't understand
> That thinking though.
> Maybe devalue isn't the word I'm looking for but I hope you understand the point I'm making.


My wife does think that they're the same thing. We're both very happy.

For many women it seems that sex is completely different and unique. I don't understand why.


----------



## Ynot

I think it comes down to a matter of personal preference. Personally I enjoy giving (usually) and receiving (always). Some women just have a funk that does not make it enjoyable. However, that aside, it is a whole different facet of sexuality that can be mutually explored and enjoyed in a relationship.
However I don't understand how anyone could see a voluntary act of pleasuring your partner to be somehow demeaning. To me that speaks to deeper personal issues by the person expressing the sentiment.


----------



## SecondTime'Round

Ynot said:


> However I don't understand how anyone could see a voluntary act of pleasuring your partner to be somehow demeaning. To me that speaks to deeper personal issues by the person expressing the sentiment.


I can only speak for myself, but I don't find it demeaning as a voluntary act. What I find demeaning is if it is the ONLY thing that my partner would find happiness/value in with regard to me, as another poster seemed to insinuate. Or THE most important thing. Honestly, I would not want any one particular (very specific) thing picked out as being THE most important thing. My value lies in the sum of all of my parts!


----------



## Ynot

SecondTime'Round said:


> I can only speak for myself, but I don't find it demeaning as a voluntary act. What I find demeaning is if it is the ONLY thing that my partner would find happiness/value in with regard to me, as another poster seemed to insinuate. Or THE most important thing. Honestly, I would not want any one particular (very specific) thing picked out as being THE most important thing. My value lies in the sum of all of my parts!


I may have missed it where someone suggested that a BJ is the ultimate or only thing desired from a partner. But I can speak from experience that if it is important to one or the other it must be important to the relationship. People have wants and desires, that don't magically disappear just because they are in a relationship. If these wants and desires are not satisfied within, they will more than likely be satisfied from without. I think this is where the affairs and cheating arise from - unmet desires or the fissure that arises from pent up desires and its accompanying resentment.


----------



## xsgandyx

I love giving and receiving oral, particularly giving to my hb to the point I had my tongue pierced to make the experience even better for him. And love swallowing, can't understand how other woman don't like to do this... Watching him during is biggest turn on.. And licking my lips at the end, generally gets him all ready to go again..😁
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## LainyLove22

I enjoy it very much. 

I've sometimes think I may have a 2nd clitoris where my tonsils should be ?! Yes I do enjoy it that , that much :smile2:


----------



## Fozzy




----------



## MountainRunner

arbitrator said:


> *And while I adore having it performed upon me by her, if given my druthers, I'd much rather be performing on her because there is a certain "high" to be derived from watching her writhe in sheer ecstasy, knowing that I am instrumental in making it happen to her! *
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Indeed.


----------



## LainyLove22

Did I mention that .... YES I do like giving !?!?


----------



## ariel_angel77

It's not like it's physically pleasurable for my mouth, lol. I like to do it because it gives me a rush to see him pleased in that way and wanting me in that way. There's just an excitement I get from making my guy go crazy from that. And to me, there's a level of devotion you show your guy when you do that for him, and give it your best.


----------



## Ol'Pal

richardsharpe said:


> I do not get physical pleasure from doing it, but I very much enjoy doing it because she enjoys it. I view it as a favor / gift. Its something nice I can do for the person I love.
> 
> Sadly she doesn't reciprocate. She doesn't enjoy doing it, and apparently doesn't feel the same way about "gifts".


Exactly how I feel, I love making her squirm and toss her head back. 

She's made it very obvious she does not feel the same....


----------



## sara1984

Looks like most women enjoy giving oral and all of them are here at TAM.... hmmmm


----------



## tripad

Lol
Lol

Too much oral ?


----------



## Middle of Everything

arbitrator said:


> *As a male, my entire motivation on performing oral sex on my SO comes strictly from my enduring love for them and for making them feel as completely loved and sexually satisfied as I possibly can!
> 
> And while I adore having it performed upon me by her, if given my druthers, I'd much rather be performing on her because there is a certain "high" to be derived from watching her writhe in sheer ecstasy, knowing that I am instrumental in making it happen to her! *
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


1000% how I feel. Could not have said it better.

I think most women might enjoy it more if they knew most GOOD men feel this exact same way.

I think most women might enjoy giving more if they thought about it in the same way as well.

I will admit that _some_ men have given oral a bad name. A$$holes that are simply trying to get off. "Its not really sex baby" "Come on its _*JUST*_ a BJ" And they feel the same way about going down on her. And so a beautiful thing like oral sex that Arbitrator described so well is reduced to gross and dirty in peoples minds. Ruined by users to get their rocks off.


----------



## Fozzy

Middle of Everything said:


> 1000% how I feel. Could not have said it better.
> 
> I think most women might enjoy it more if they knew most GOOD men feel this exact same way.
> 
> I think most women might enjoy giving more if they thought about it in the same way as well.
> 
> I will admit that _some_ men have given oral a bad name. A$$holes that are simply trying to get off. "Its not really sex baby" "Come on its _*JUST*_ a BJ" And they feel the same way about going down on her. And so a beautiful thing like oral sex that Arbitrator described so well is reduced to gross and dirty in peoples minds. Ruined by users to get their rocks off.


----------



## lifeisbetterthanalternat

Personal said:


> A wife can still be genuinely concerned about her husband's happiness without providing no strings attached felatio.
> 
> 
> 
> Although I do enjoy them I wouldn't go as far as thinking or claiming that the provision of oral sex is the most effective way of letting ones husband know that one cares for them and their happiness.
> 
> Blowjobs are not the Holy Grail!



Perhaps not to you, many women and some men but, to many men, they would strongly dissagree with this. If a man gives a women backrubs or other unilateral provision of pleasure, that who was giving or receiving would have a HUGE bearing on who would refer to it as the "Holy grail" don't you think.


----------



## Redheadguy

I love it, both directions, either voracious 'can't get enough" style, and slow and casual.

Both making my wife feel good, or her doing for me really make me feel connected and loved. Need more.


----------



## WandaJ

yes. it is big turn on.


----------



## Fozzy

WandaJ said:


> yes. it is big turn on.


As a means of GETTING turned on? I ask because the wife absolutely won't consider it until she's already in a froth. And even then there's a rulebook involved.


----------



## Runs like Dog

I always loved going down on my wife outdoors or in the car. Or at the movies, or pretty much anywhere. It's not a party until she's sweating and exhausted from orgasming over and over.


----------



## Fozzy

I saw someone here once describe it thus:

Start like a butterfly landing, and finish like a bulldog in a bowl of oatmeal.


----------



## WandaJ

Fozzy said:


> As a means of GETTING turned on? I ask because the wife absolutely won't consider it until she's already in a froth. And even then there's a rulebook involved.


Yes, that happens too. I could be in not much of a mood, but he is, so I would go for it, because that's kind of quickest way to "accomplish" something, and would warmed up for more adventures. And sometime that's what I would be craving for. And other times, would not even think about it. All depends on the mood. and time of the month.


----------



## gouge_away

I'd give daily if I had the opportunity. I don't think I would want piv daily, so oral, and just showering together, supplement a high desire for intercourse.

Of course there should include days of oral, piv, shower, piv.

I might be chastised for saying this but oral after piv doesn't even bother me as much as I used to think it would...


----------



## tripad

Piv?


----------



## DayOne

Fozzy said:


> Start like a butterfly landing, and finish like a bulldog in a bowl of oatmeal.


/thread. :smthumbup:


----------



## gouge_away

tripad said:


> Piv?


Weewee + vajayjay


----------



## Mrs.Submission

gouge_away said:


> Weewee + vajayjay


:laugh:


----------



## fitchick1961

Yep, I love it, I have absolutely no problem doing it to my husband. My hubby comes very quickly when I do it, so I don't mind at all. If it took like 30 min or more, I might object. As one poster mentioned, it's kind of a power thing, like I can make him moan etc, lol. Since I have never had a huge sex drive, I figured this is the least I could do, since it was my issue. But I truly like doing it, so no problem. I so don't understand the mindset of women that like receiving it, but won't reciprocate.
Also, my gag reflex is not sensitive at all, which helps a lot. Also swallowing isn't an issue either, I mean its right there, what else you going to do, lol. Much neater and cleaner, lol.


----------



## melw74

lilbitoluv said:


> I am really curious how other women feel about this. Oral sex is such a huge deal it seems these days. If in a relationship and you are not into it, it could be a real deal breaker. My guy says I don't do it enough, but I am not really very motivated to. I have my moments when I want to but most times I rather not. Do you do it because you actually enjoy it, or because it is a request from your partner that you really can't escape? What motivates you to do it?


This is my husbands no 1 :grin2:... I do it one because yes i do know how much my hubby loves it, and i love it knowing how much it turns him on when i do it:grin2: But i love giving it too, so i have no problem obliging when my hubby wants one.... I do wonder what our sex life would be like without it and i was intrigued to know how my husband would feel if it was not part of the relationship he said " well i would have to put up with it":surprise: I knew then that he was a little peed and it would bother him.

So answer to the question... Mainly i do it to please, I get satisfaction knowing how much it turns my hubby on... and how satisfied he is.


----------



## Angel82

I like doing it but I don't receive...I don't think it's fair


----------



## larry.gray

Fozzy said:


>


That dude right there REALLY wishes he had picked a swallower. If Monica had been, she wouldn't have been left with evidence on the blue dress.


----------



## lifeisbetterthanalternat

fitchick1961 said:


> Yep, I love it, I have absolutely no problem doing it to my husband. My hubby comes very quickly when I do it, so I don't mind at all. If it took like 30 min or more, I might object. As one poster mentioned, it's kind of a power thing, like I can make him moan etc, lol. Since I have never had a huge sex drive, I figured this is the least I could do, since it was my issue. But I truly like doing it, so no problem. I so don't understand the mindset of women that like receiving it, but won't reciprocate.
> Also, my gag reflex is not sensitive at all, which helps a lot. Also swallowing isn't an issue either, I mean its right there, what else you going to do, lol. Much neater and cleaner, lol.


I can see this definately coming into play. If a man requires allot of stlmulation, for a long time. It requires much more stamina, strength, time...which make it more difficult.


----------



## CuddleBug

lilbitoluv said:


> I am really curious how other women feel about this. Oral sex is such a huge deal it seems these days. If in a relationship and you are not into it, it could be a real deal breaker. My guy says I don't do it enough, but I am not really very motivated to. I have my moments when I want to but most times I rather not. Do you do it because you actually enjoy it, or because it is a request from your partner that you really can't escape? What motivates you to do it?



I love it when Mrs.CuddleBug gives me oral. I let her have complete control and my hands are at my sides. She is relaxed and is really fantastic at oral and I tell her this. I wish she would give me oral more often because something about her saliva, tongue, suction and sounds she makes is so sexy and hot. I only get oral maybe 1x month which is really nothing unfortunately.

I see it this way. Would you rather gave your man oral a few times each month, maybe once a week or would you rather he want anal sex????

Oral sex for the win I think?


----------



## happy as a clam

To answer your question, YES! I love giving my sexy SO oral. (Basically, I worship his d!ck and enjoy the h*ll out of looking at it, touching it, holding it, and showering love on it... :smthumbup

And yes, I swallow. Wouldn't have it any other way.

But I must add this... He is also Supreme at GIVING oral. As in, turns me into "Jello" every time. So it's all good in our world... 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Bibi1031

BJs were just foreplay for us. I don't enjoy them very much, but I loved giving them to XH because he absolutely loved them.

We got married when I was 38 and he was 50. He said no one gave him BJs like I did. I believe him because no one made love to me like he did. I miss sex with him like crazy!

But memories are always great and so vivid.


----------



## Faithful Wife

larry.gray said:


> That dude right there REALLY wishes he had picked a swallower. If Monica had been, she wouldn't have been left with evidence on the blue dress.


I'm not positive on this, but I think there were multiple sexual encounters between them, and the blue dress night was not bj night...it was meant to get right where it was, and she wanted to keep it for a souvenier. They both planned it this way, he knew the score. She made the mistake of telling that other lady about it (can't remember her name anymore) and that's how it got subpoenaed as evidence.


----------



## WandaJ

happy as a clam said:


> To answer your question, YES! I love giving my sexy SO oral. (Basically, I worship his d!ck and enjoy the h*ll out of looking at it, touching it, holding it, and showering love on it... :smthumbup
> 
> And yes, I swallow. Wouldn't have it any other way.
> 
> But I must add this... He is also Supreme at GIVING oral. As in, turns me into "Jello" every time. So it's all good in our world...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Pervert>


----------



## CuddleBug

I see it this way.

If the wife truly loves and trusts her hubby, she would want to try new sexual positions and push her boundaries a bit. Why? Trust. Love. She wants to please her man.

If the wife doesn't truly love her hubby, she won't want to try new sexual positions and techniques and push her boundaries a bit. It's her way or the highway.

I love to give Mrs.CuddleBug oral until she has an orgasm but she is very insecure about her body so it usually doesn't happen. When I do give her oral, she likes it and if she's really in the mood, she will allow me to continue and she has her orgasm. Now at times she doesn't smell that great, so I breath through my mouth. I never tell her she smells, take a bath or I'm not into oral sex. I also don't love it when there's a big wet spot but I still give her oral because I love her, want to please her and its not all about me and what I want. I am married to Mrs.CuddleBug and that means I am to take care of her needs as my own and not what I always want.

Marriage is taking care of each others needs as your own and that means doing some things you may not love doing. But you can check out vids on how to give the best oral and how not to gag and how to swallow and deal with the wetness. All easy to do.

Or you can do nothing and say you aren't into this or that.


----------



## Eastcoasting

*Face sitting....is it really that kinky?*

So on the topic of oral sex...I would love to have my wife sit on my face BUT I do not know how to ask or bring it up.

While performing oral sex on my wife she is always more comfortable lying on her back which I love BUT like I said, I would just love it if she sat on top of me. 

We did try 69 once which I LOVED but she wasn't so much into it. Do most women feel the same way? Do any women here love it?

Any suggestions on how to bring this up to my wife would be greatly appreciated.


----------



## Eastcoasting

I suppose I could
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Woodchuck

I introduced my wife to cunnilingus during the first year of our marriage...She found it felt a LOT better than she thought it would....However, getting oral from her was a totally different story....Few, and far between....Now at our 48th year of marriage, I can get oral pretty much on demand???? Go figure...The down side is, I enjoy PIV with her tremendously, and it is difficult to turn down oral, but then really miss her vagina.....Sex still has it's dilemas after almost half a century...


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## sara1984

I have one question... I am not sure whether it will violate this forum rules ... But the question is regarding female giving bj to male...


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
go ahead and ask. If it does't contain profanity and isn't phrased in an excessively crude way, and is not intentionally insulting I expect it is fine. (though I'm not a moderator).

Oral is a pretty common topic here - it is a sex act about which people have wildly different opinions. 





sara1984 said:


> I have one question... I am not sure whether it will violate this forum rules ... But the question is regarding female giving bj to male...


----------



## sara1984

OK...
All ladies... While giving bj, will you take whole thing in the mouth or only the tip ?

//if my question violates the rule, please let me know... I will be more than happy to delete...


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
perfectly legitimate. The answer is that it varies. Some women just lick the surface. Some take the tip in their mouths. Some the entire thing (deep throating). How difficult the last is of course depends on how well endowed their partner is. 

Some are happy to have him finish in their mouths, some are not. Some will swallow some do not. 

Some women actively enthusiastically enjoy giving BJs. Some are happy to do it as a favor, some can't stand it. 



The other side of this is that men vary a lot is their feelings about BJs as well. Some don't care for them. Some enjoy them, but just as another part of sex, for some they are the ultimate thing.

Some men care about being deep-throated, some do not.
Some men care about finishing in their partners mouths, some do not. Of the ones who do, some care if she swallows, some do not.

Oral sex on women of course works the same way - there is a huge range in how much me enjoy doing it, and in how much women enjoy receiving. 

I think the biggest mistake people make in sex is not realizing how much variation there is in what individuals want. 


The point of all this is communication: Find out what your particular partner wants, or you may find yourself going to great effort doing something that doesn't matter at all to them. 



//if my question violates the rule, please let me know... I will be more than happy to delete...[/QUOTE]


----------



## SadSamIAm

I like giving oral because I like to please my wife. I also don't mind the taste. It turns me on. It hasn't happened for a few years, but I have in the past had an orgasm myself just from giving her oral sex. When she gets turned on, moving her hips, moaning, etc. it really gets me going. 

I am not sure all men feel this way, but I do. To me, having an orgasm isn't the best thing about making love. I don't want to do it so I can get off. I want to do it because I want my wife to get off. I want her to feel good. I want to be close to her. While I always end up having an orgasm, it isn't the goal. The goal is to feel that closeness with my wife.


----------



## WandaJ

sara1984 said:


> OK...
> All ladies... While giving bj, will you take whole thing in the mouth or only the tip ?
> 
> //if my question violates the rule, please let me know... I will be more than happy to delete...


The tip would be a tease not a bj


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## sara1984

Thanks richardsharpe for your response.... 

To introduce myself , I am male 31... Married and happily living... Sex life is awesome, except oral one... I give it to my wife and she enjoys it... She tried few times on me and she didn't like it... Then, later I forgot about that... 

After reading this forum, hmmm, I thought , why shouldn't I ask her try again ....


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
There are a significant number of women who will not do BJs. (I'm married to one). It sucks (or doesn't I guess). In many cases that will never change. You should ask, but don't be surprised if you get a no.

Its incredibly frustrating to hear from all the women who do enjoy doing BJs or who are happy to do them to please the person they love. 





sara1984 said:


> Thanks richardsharpe for your response....
> 
> To introduce myself , I am male 31... Married and happily living... Sex life is awesome, except oral one... I give it to my wife and she enjoys it... She tried few times on me and she didn't like it... Then, later I forgot about that...
> 
> After reading this forum, hmmm, I thought , why shouldn't I ask her try again ....


----------



## JoeHenderson

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> There are a significant number of women who will not do BJs. (I'm married to one). It sucks (or doesn't I guess). In many cases that will never change. You should ask, but don't be surprised if you get a no.
> 
> Its incredibly frustrating to hear from all the women who do enjoy doing BJs or who are happy to do them to please the person they love.


I hear you, Richard. My wife flat out lies about it. She says that she likes doing it, but never initiates it and usually says no when I want one. I take care of myself down there, but she's not into oral in general, giving or receiving. I'm glad the sex life is picking up for me, but have come to the realization that it's likely going to change. 

Kudos to the giving women of TAM out there, even if it is frustrating.


----------



## SARAHMCD

sara1984 said:


> OK...
> All ladies... While giving bj, will you take whole thing in the mouth or only the tip ?
> 
> //if my question violates the rule, please let me know... I will be more than happy to delete...


Most women do more than just the tip. They will take in as much as they can before the gag reflex kicks in - some have a higher sensitivity to this than others. Using a hand helps out for what you can't get in. 

Taking it all is deep throating and is not easy especially if the guy is well endowed.


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
to extend the question, are there women who enjoy doing deep throating, or is it done just to please their partners, or sort of just because they can.


----------



## SARAHMCD

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> to extend the question, are there women who enjoy doing deep throating, or is it done just to please their partners, or sort of just because they can.


All of the above. Depends on the woman.


----------



## sara1984

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> There are a significant number of women who will not do BJs. (I'm married to one). It sucks (or doesn't I guess).


it doesn't .... 



richardsharpe said:


> Its incredibly frustrating to hear from all the women who do enjoy doing BJs or who are happy to do them to please the person they love.


I won't say its frustrating... But I am jealous over the husbands who's wife enjoy doing BJs to them .. Lucky guys ...


----------



## sixty-eight

I LOVE to give blowjobs. I love everything about them, i miss them, in fact. I don't have any stipulations or conditions, and used to take requests for them. But if i give him oral, i know i'm never getting oral for me. On the rare occasions he will volunteer (if he's drunk) all i can think about the whole time is that he's hating it (because he's said he does), and that's a big turn off. I no longer request it. Plus, they say practice makes perfect, and it's true. Hubby is out of practice. or he's deliberately making it unpleasant. 

Plus, if I give a blow job, he always falls asleep or gets up and walks away afterwards, and I get very turned on giving them. So then i'm left hanging. And it's so disappointing that i'm often left upset and unable to take care of my own orgasm. If i try to give him one in the 69 position, so that i get touched simultaneously, he asks me to get on my knees because that way feels better. If i try to go slow and tease, hoping for piv sex, the results have been unfavorable.

So I just don't give them anymore. it's aggravating. Not that it has to be a trade. But when giving one makes you feel so terrible, there's something to be said for trying to preserve your own happy mental state. and not being a generous doormat. I haven't given a blow job in a few months, and he hasn't noticed. 

Anyway, in conclusion, I may like giving him head, more than he likes receiving it.


----------



## happy as a clam

sara1984 said:


> OK...
> All ladies... While giving bj, will you take whole thing in the mouth or only the tip ?


The whole dang thing! And I mean ALL of it. But you can certainly shower some affection on just the tip. Lots of variety is the key, I think. At least that's what works for us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sara1984

Hmmm.... So, is there training materials or videos for beginners ? Any recommendations ?


----------



## happy as a clam

sara1984 said:


> Hmmm.... So, is there training materials or videos for beginners ? Any recommendations ?


Just do a Google search for "how to give a good BJ"... you'll come up with thousands of hits, some better than others.

In the meantime, you can start with this. It's pretty "tame" compared to some:

Blow Him Away in Bed: Oral Sex Tips


----------



## Mr.Fisty

happy as a clam said:


> Just do a Google search for "how to give a good BJ"... you'll come up with thousands of hits, some better than others.
> 
> In the meantime, you can start with this. It's pretty "tame" compared to some:
> 
> Blow Him Away in Bed: Oral Sex Tips



I want to be blasted instead of blown. LOL.

Nothing like crying tears during oral sex and begging for mercy when it is mercy that should be begging for me to stop crying.


----------



## sara1984

happy as a clam said:


> Just do a Google search for "how to give a good BJ"... you'll come up with thousands of hits, some better than others.
> 
> In the meantime, you can start with this. It's pretty "tame" compared to some:
> 
> Blow Him Away in Bed: Oral Sex Tips


Thank you


----------



## sara1984

In this thread, so many ladies told that they love bj... But most of them are not replying now... I am expecting their suggestions also


----------



## UMP

Sara, 
This is all you need to know 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Lvqhb_bUmIs


----------



## Corkey88

tornado said:


> Another guy here. I enjoy giving and receiving immensely, I actually would rather have oral sex than piv sometimes. My wife doesn't much care for giving or receiving, so it doesn't happen much and seems even less the older we get. I personally don't see the big hang up, why not enjoy something that gives your loved one so much pleasure.
> 
> ETA.
> I think my wife's thinking on the situation is she doesn't want me giving her oral much, so if she gives oral she sees it as "nothing in it for her"


I am a guy and I love oral sex, giving and receiving. It is ia deal breaker for me. If a women sasy she doesn't like it, I am moving on to the next one. Seriously, it is a really big deal to me.


----------



## Corkey88

I know men who have gone to prostitutes because they wanted oral sex and their wife wouldn't do it. I am not saying that is right but it is really difficult to stop guys from wanting what they want.


----------



## Holland

sara1984 said:


> In this thread, so many ladies told that they love bj... But most of them are not replying now... I am expecting their suggestions also


Well you can't expect anything on a forum. Are you looking for explicit details? If so then look at the links you were given.

My advice is that practice makes perfect.


----------



## sixty-eight

happy as a clam said:


> The whole dang thing! And I mean ALL of it. But you can certainly shower some affection on just the tip. Lots of variety is the key, I think. At least that's what works for us.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yup. as much of it as you can. I can't quite get the entire thing, but sometimes you can help a little with your hand. 

practice really does make perfect.
but not everyone likes the exact same things, so keep that in mind with how to videos.
My method has always been to simply play detective and look for reactions (verbal, facial expressions, noises) while we are in the moment. 

When it's my turn, it's a big turn on if he's into it. So i try and let him know that i'm enjoying myself (non-verbally of course :wink2 during the act


----------



## sixty-eight

UMP said:


> Sara,
> This is all you need to know
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Lvqhb_bUmIs


has anyone watched this? i laughed so hard, and my kids are in bed. whoops!


----------



## arbitrator

sixty-eight said:


> I LOVE to give blowjobs. I love everything about them, i miss them, in fact. I don't have any stipulations or conditions, and used to take requests for them. But if i give him oral, i know i'm never getting oral for me. On the rare occasions he will volunteer (if he's drunk) all i can think about the whole time is that he's hating it (because he's said he does), and that's a big turn off. I no longer request it. Plus, they say practice makes perfect, and it's true. Hubby is out of practice. or he's deliberately making it unpleasant.
> 
> Plus, if I give a blow job, he always falls asleep or gets up and walks away afterwards, and I get very turned on giving them. So then i'm left hanging. And it's so disappointing that i'm often left upset and unable to take care of my own orgasm. If i try to give him one in the 69 position, so that i get touched simultaneously, he asks me to get on my knees because that way feels better. If i try to go slow and tease, hoping for piv sex, the results have been unfavorable.
> 
> So I just don't give them anymore. it's aggravating. Not that it has to be a trade. But when giving one makes you feel so terrible, there's something to be said for trying to preserve your own happy mental state. and not being a generous doormat. I haven't given a blow job in a few months, and he hasn't noticed.
> 
> Anyway, in conclusion, I may like giving him head, more than he likes receiving it.


*You poor unfortunate creature, you!

Your H needs to have his a$$ kicked as he doesn't really have a clue as to what he's missing out on!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sixty-eight

arbitrator said:


> *You poor unfortunate creature, you!
> 
> Your H needs to have his a$$ kicked as he doesn't really have a clue as to what he's missing out on!*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way to open his eyes to it? It's humorous, in a dark way, to think that there are lots of us HD's married to low ones. and yet, people aren't consistently paired up according to sexual preference. In fact, if you were brought up religiously, you were specifically told to go into marriage rather blindly in that regard.

because that's the truth of it, he doesn't have a clue as to what he's missing out on. He is the LD partner, and to him, sex is not really that important. It's for sure a cautionary tale to those thinking about getting married.

but. he is my choice. cheers to making it work :smile2:
maybe one day we will split, and he will be a dream guy for some frigid lady. lol! >


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## confusedinTX

I would say I don't enjoy the act but like how excited he gets. Same as others have said. We are usually pleasuring each other in some way or another. He loves giving and I worked on it. Rather have sex personally but I get that it is important tom and like being able to give that to him.


----------



## RAYMOND

lilbitoluv said:


> I am really curious how other women feel about this. Oral sex is such a huge deal it seems these days. If in a relationship and you are not into it, it could be a real deal breaker. My guy says I don't do it enough, but I am not really very motivated to. I have my moments when I want to but most times I rather not. Do you do it because you actually enjoy it, or because it is a request from your partner that you really can't escape? What motivates you to do it?


My wife confessed she is not comfortable with it so we don't do it now. It's okay. One adjusts. There are other things to do.


----------



## Recoveringws

yes, I think oral isn't just something once in a while, it's ESSENTIAL to a healthy, satisfying sex life. both giving and receiving.

Fortunately, I don't have to hope my wife likes giving. She does. It's on the menu 9 times out of 10. I think that someone who didn't like it would be a deal-breaker. It's truly 50% enthusiasm, 50% technique. if the enthusiasm isn't there, it's obvious. Turn off.

Someone who doesn't like oral frankly can't be a good lover, in my opinion and experience in life.

Someone who does it but has to be kinda directed to do it? Turn off. Someone who has to be asked to do it? Turn off. Begged to do it? Deal breaker and turn off

I always find it ironic about some people who love getting it, and expect it, but hate giving it. Sheesh. How sad to be married to anyone who doesn't love it. But it's not a big deal to some people. It is to me. I love giving, I love getting. its erotic. I wouldn't stay married to someone who wouldn't do it or acted like they hated it.


----------



## Satya

Boundaries for us both was that our partner needed to be comfortable and enthusiastic about giving and receiving oral. 

My SO and I go at it like we're at a Chinese buffet.


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## Runs like Dog

If the internet is any benchmark, no, women do not like giving it (to men) but say they are entitled to receive it, as if it's a human right. This is a self selecting group obviously, like people who write bad comments on Yelp. None the less, straight women are the opposite of gay men, who in surveys claim they have have more oral sex than any other kind.


----------



## jetzon

from another male , my wife and i truly love to give each other oral sex , i truly feel like we show our love for each other and feel closer to each other during this than anything else we do !! and by the way it does feel wanderful !!!


----------



## teahead

Fellow males, you need to make it more desirable:

- keep everything down there TRIM!

- keep everything clean and smelling fresh down there.

- if you want her to swallow, do not eat fishy, Indian, or really spicy food 1-2 hours beforehand. Nor drink coffee or beer. Vanilla ice cream, pineapple juice works wonders. Also, my wife tells me it tastes a lot better ever since I had my vasectomy, so get that done if you still haven't for a multitude of reasons.

- always reciprocate, but tell your wife/GF points 1 and 2 above if it's not the case. Quickest way to get a soft-on if the beaver is funky and hairy. My $0.02.


----------



## Kolie123

Woman right here
I agree with Arbitrator!!! I have always loved giving my husband oral. I'm one of those people that have to be the best at everything So I'm always trying to blow his mind ( no pun intended) so i'm always trying new things also! After 11 years you would think there wouldn't be anything new to try but I always find little things to switch it up and it really turns me on knowing that I can REALLY turn him on! He also loves giving oral for the same reasons. We love each other immensely and its one way I can show him that I care about pleasing him because I know its one thing he loves.


----------



## Kolie123

sara1984 said:


> OK...
> All ladies... While giving bj, will you take whole thing in the mouth or only the tip ?
> 
> //if my question violates the rule, please let me know... I will be more than happy to delete...


BOTH! there are a lot of different techniques to oral for men just as there are for women. I know my husband thoroughly enjoys when I deep throat. Hahaha sorry I can't believe I am writing this on a forum!


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
Well my wife finally told me that she really despises oral. Her description was "like having your mouth stretched at the dentist, then having someone urinate in it". :frown2:


----------



## Runs like Dog

Wouldn't that maker her cervix a urinal too?


----------



## arbitrator

Satya said:


> Boundaries for us both was that our partner needed to be comfortable and enthusiastic about giving and receiving oral.
> 
> * My SO and I go at it like we're at a Chinese buffet.*


*And let's just say that it had better be a "world class buffet" at that!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sara1984

Lot of responses... Thank you all


----------



## tornado

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Well my wife finally told me that she really despises oral. Her description was "like having your mouth stretched at the dentist, then having someone urinate in it". :frown2:


Well at least she is good at the unnecessarily brutal honesty.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
It may have been necessary brutal honesty. Previously I was under the impression that she just didn't like it much so it seemed selfish of her not to do it when I did lots of similar things for h er. 




tornado said:


> Well at least she is good at the unnecessarily brutal honesty.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sixty-eight

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> It may have been necessary brutal honesty. Previously I was under the impression that she just didn't like it much so it seemed selfish of her not to do it when I did lots of similar things for her.


i just don't understand this. i guess to me, the act doesn't have a lot of intrinsic value. Sucking on a penis isn't the actual fun to be had, or sucking on a dildo would be wildly popular. They would make popsicles in a skin flavor because of the pure joy of phallus in mouth. no, of course not. The great part is being generous with the pleasure. to make your partner feel great and loved and focus all your attention on their needs for that time span.

so saying you don't like it because it stretches your mouth. well. of course it does sometimes have a little discomfort for the giver. but. You wouldn't go to the dentist purely because you like to give him pleasure (i hope).

reminds me of this scene from forgetting sarah marshall:
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008): Darald's Sex Problems - Video
_The wife wants me to do certain things...
that I find inappropriate.
Let me just say...
that if God was a city planner,
he would not put a playground next to a sewage system_

It is to be noted that I have no actual answers for this problem. just frustration and empathy : ) The problem is not us my friend.


----------



## Fozzy

sixty-eight said:


> They would make popsicles in a skin flavor because of the pure joy of phallus in mouth.
> .


I'm getting the craziest idea for a business opportunity here...


----------



## sixty-eight

Fozzy said:


> I'm getting the craziest idea for a business opportunity here...


everyone gets a headache!
the takers get a brain freeze
everyone one else has a "headache"

:rofl:


----------



## arbitrator

Fozzy said:


> I'm getting the craziest idea for a business opportunity here...


*I want a distributorship here in Texas, @Fozzy! *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richardsharpe

no way am I googling it, but I bet they exist....



Fozzy said:


> I'm getting the craziest idea for a business opportunity here...


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
oral sex is very strange. For some people is it is a fun thing to do to their partner, and often exciting to themselves. For others there is this very strong "yuck" factor. (the yuck is often coupled with a sense that it is an abusive request).

They yuck factor ("why would I want to put my mouth there" ) seems reasonable until you realize that in a lot of ways kissing is even more yuck. 

For people who are happy to do it, it is almost impossible to imagine the "yuck". For people who hate it, it is almost impossible not to be grossed out. 

Has anyone gone from hating it to being happy to do it? What changed?


----------



## Fozzy

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> oral sex is very strange. For some people is it is a fun thing to do to their partner, and often exciting to themselves. For others there is this very strong "yuck" factor. (the yuck is often coupled with a sense that it is an abusive request).
> 
> They yuck factor ("why would I want to put my mouth there" ) seems reasonable until you realize that in a lot of ways kissing is even more yuck.
> 
> For people who are happy to do it, it is almost impossible to imagine the "yuck". For people who hate it, it is almost impossible not to be grossed out.
> 
> Has anyone gone from hating it to being happy to do it? What changed?


I've seen several accounts on TAM of women who have changed their mind about it over the course of their relationship.

On the flip side, I can't recall reading a single case of a guy changing his mind about it.


----------



## Fozzy

richardsharpe said:


> no way am I googling it, but I bet they exist....




The shape yes, but the FLAVOR???

Plus you could freeze a few short & curlies down near the bottom...


ok I'll stop now.


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## sara1984

Hahaha


----------



## UMP

Fozzy said:


> I've seen several accounts on TAM of women who have changed their mind about it over the course of their relationship.
> 
> On the flip side, I can't recall reading a single case of a guy changing his mind about it.


I am one of those guys.
I used to be married before. I was very young and should have never gotten married. Only lasted 16 months and she left. I don't blame her. We never had sex before marriage and I would not go down on her. She simply repulsed me sexually. I know, I know, "why in the hell did you marry her?" Stupidity, fear of the unknown and a million other reasons. 

Anyway, I simply could not go down on her. Now, my current wife of 24 years is a completely different story. I think my whole face becomes partially imbedded in her vagina. I like it that much. So much so that if I get a cold sore I pound it with Orajel so I can be cleared for that fur pie dinner.

I love it.

There you have it!


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## Fozzy

UMP said:


> I am one of those guys.
> I used to be married before. I was very young and should have never gotten married. Only lasted 16 months and she left. I don't blame her. We never had sex before marriage and I would not go down on her. She simply repulsed me sexually. I know, I know, "why in the hell did you marry her?" Stupidity, fear of the unknown and a million other reasons.
> 
> Anyway, I simply could not go down on her. Now, my current wife of 24 years is a completely different story. I think my whole face becomes partially imbedded in her vagina. I like it that much. So much so that if I get a cold sore I pound it with Orajel so I can be cleared for that fur pie dinner.
> 
> I love it.
> 
> There you have it!


Ah, but you didn't change your mind with the same woman! For a lady coming here to ask advice on how to get her husband to like going down on her---I maintain she's out of luck.

90% of guys in that situation are similarly out of luck, unless the wife happens to change her mind on her own.

Leading a horse to water, and all that.


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## UMP

Fozzy said:


> Ah, but you didn't change your mind with the same woman! For a lady coming here to ask advice on how to get her husband to like going down on her---I maintain she's out of luck.
> 
> 90% of guys in that situation are similarly out of luck, unless the wife happens to change her mind on her own.
> 
> Leading a horse to water, and all that.


True, 
I did not catch that part. It's so sad not to be sexually compatible.
If I had stayed with my first wife, it would have been a nightmare for both of us. I am so glad she left me. In fact, it's one of the VERY best things that could have ever happened to me.

At the time I WAS devastated. I have not seen her face since the day she left and we are from the same home town. I am certain she thought I was gay. After we got married, every part of her body started to repulse me. I wanted sex so bad, just not with her.
Oh how sad!!


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## SimplyAmorous

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> oral sex is very strange. For some people is it is a fun thing to do to their partner, and often exciting to themselves. For others there is this very strong "yuck" factor. (the yuck is often coupled with a sense that it is an abusive request).
> 
> They yuck factor ("why would I want to put my mouth there" ) seems reasonable until you realize that in a lot of ways kissing is even more yuck.
> 
> *For people who are happy to do it, it is almost impossible to imagine the "yuck". * For people who hate it, it is almost impossible not to be grossed out.
> 
> *Has anyone gone from hating it to being happy to do it? What changed?*


I was one of those women who was "inhibited", repressed in this area....in our early years.. we put on some porn... It was hard core & disgusted me....much of the issue , so I can only speculate .. was I associated oral with this sort of porn, threesomes, uncommitted sex.. it wasn't something that seemed romantic & loving to me.. 

I never read a book to help me look upon it in another light, it's beauty in giving.... no women in my life ever spoke of it's joys.. delights.. . it didn't help matters that husband wasn't one to push....we didn't talk about sex -but crazily we always orgasmed together.. ti seemed enough...

I can't remember him ever even asking...(though he would have loved it-I didn't realize it's power )..of course there is a little story behind this... something I said in a stupid moment.. he took it personal but honestly I swear it wasn't meant to be... (Me & my big [email protected]#) ...

When we had a serious talk over this 7 yrs ago, I asked him WHY WHY WHY didn't he ever try to get me to do this.. didn't he want it [email protected]#$%
... he said after that comment of mine... he wasn't going to ask me to put my mouth on it ! (this was a misunderstanding- and what a shame) 

It wasn't until I had a sex drive increase in mid life that I went basically WILD for it.. all inhibitions FLEW out of the window and for the life of me.. I can't understand what was wrong with me back then.. I feel this could have been overcome a long time ago.. with my being inspired by books on intimacy speaking of it.. or when I was doused in excitement.. and wanting it.. which was every time we had sex.. he could have teased me into it.. something.. dangle the carrot.. 

It's the dumbest thing really.. biggest regrets of my marriage even.. it didn't help that I was never one to orgasm from his going down on me ...he loved that.. it was too sensitive and all I kept thinking was.. "How can he stand that?"....it's a shame ...yes. 

What's funny is.. Today I would be flipping if he didn't like that.. it's great foreplay and if he didn't want oral.. I'd seriously be angry with him.. I need to go there... I love love love it..

If there is ever a story of a change... I'm one of those examples..:smile2:


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## icemans.insights

Holland said:


> Like Lucy I love the power trip of giving. That is just one part though, I actually love to worship his d.ick and make him feel all manly and hot. It turns me on the give him BJ and as it is 99% of the time to completion/swallow then I do it knowing there won't be PIV for a little while but he will usually then reciprocate. Actually I prefer to give him a NSA BJ, that puts one hell of a smile on my face.
> 
> I get oral most days and most of the time it is multi orgasmic, he is one hell of a fine man.


We need more females in the world like you Holland!


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## JVerida

I admit to not having read the 190+ replies here... but do want to say that it has definitely changed with age for me.

When I was a teen in high school, oral was a way to get a guy off so he wouldn't keep nagging me for PIV that I worried would leave me pregnant. I honed it like a craft! The quicker I could suck a guy off, the sooner he came back around to being a guy I wanted to spend time with instead of a horny teenager that wanted nothing more than to get in my panties. Hell, if I could have met them at the door and "gotten it over with" so they would be bearable the rest of the evening, I probably would have answered the door on my knees with a tube of joy jelly and an open mouth!

Then, I got a little older and kept trying feebly to gain an orgasm from males that lasted about 10 strokes and then were desperately cumming while they apologized... so I learned that if I "accidentally" sucked them off while giving them oral foreplay they were so sorry that they would plow the **** out of me vigorously after they came in my mouth and it would get me "so close" to cumming that I could usually help things along with a wet finger on my clit.

Then, I got a little older still and discovered that once the penis goes from a volatile object that could cum at any second it IMMEDIATELY falls prey to an age where it is a three ring circus to get it to cum at all! Then it became an art of using my collective oral skills to get the penis so close to cumming that a few good PIV thrusts led to his orgasm.

Then, I got even a little older and decided I wasn't going to be a prisoner to the cumming habits of penises that never brought me anything other than drama and problems, bought a case of batteries and a really good vibrator and said **** it to all the ****s in the world. heheh


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## 2ndchanceGuy

Kolie123 said:


> BOTH! there are a lot of different techniques to oral for men just as there are for women. *I know my husband thoroughly enjoys when I deep throat.* !


Good to hear so many women be open about this. Don't be embarrassed you are doing humanity a service.

Now I have to ask the other women that REALLY like to give oral.
Do you all deep throat ? and swallow ?

I never had either until I got divorced. It is amazing. Thank you to every woman that had the patience to learn this skill.


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## C22r

Fozzy said:


> I'm getting the craziest idea for a business opportunity here...


Make sure you put poppy candy in them or make them tingly mint flavour! Xx


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## frusdil

Another wife here who LOVES oral with her man - both giving and receiving. I adore my husband - I love the smell and taste of his skin..ooooh yeah. I can't get enough of him - or his package  The only thing I can't do is let him cum in my mouth...I just can't do it but I'll go down on him any time he wants - or I want, hehehe  

I'm so lucky that he loves giving oral to me too...he really gets into it and so do I. I remember one night, during one of his most impressive performances I was out of breath but begging for more, lol. I was so excited that he got overexcited and couldn't hold on any longer, hehehe. That was hot.

Excuse me while I run off to find him...all this talk of oral has me feeling rather frisky!!!


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## LosingHim

I love giving it! It truly turns me on. Knowing that all the pleasure comes from exactly what I'm doing is a major turn on and power trip. I alone have the power to make him come apart or hold on as long as I want him to. And usually he talks really dirty to me when I do it as well which leads to super hot sex. 

I also love receiving it. Sadly, now my husband wants a divorce so he won't give it any more, which is killing me. 

It hasn't stopped me from giving it though, and it's still leading to super hot sex.


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