# Feel like I'm going backwards



## 1nurse (Jan 21, 2009)

Since my separation Oct 7/08 I feel I've been doing fairly well. In my own apartment ever for the first time in my life. Job is going good. My health and family are okay. However, the past few weeks have been very depressing for me. I have been mulling over in my head things that were said and done prior to my ex moving out and away. We have no children and share no assets. I haven't seen him since mid Nov last year. He came to get our dog to take with him. I work all the time and wouldn't have time to look after him. He was texting me about stupid things like mail he was going to send to me because it was accidentally sent to him. I finally had to tell him by text to stop texting me and the only contact I wanted was by e-mail. Haven't heard from him since. 

I'm not sure if my depression and sadness has anything to do with what happened in my life last year besides my marriage breakdown. Some background, I lost both my grandmothers in April. My best friend's baby almost died at birth. My horse almost died of a bad liver infection. And the last straw was my husband left me in the fall. It's coming around to the year anniversary of my grandmother's death. Nice thing to know that the man you married and promised to stand by you "for better or worse" takes off for an emotional affair and leaves you to pick up the pieces. Well I guess in the long run that ass did me a favour. Never has taken responsibility for anything even up to now. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him but I guess that will pass. My question is, what can I do to keep myself focused and on track?


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i think your doing really well. youve had a very emotional time. it perfectly normal how your feeling. its just not a nice feeling.
you wil ride it through again.
your just feeling lonely and miss companionship and warmth.
we cant always b focused, like we cant always b happy or be sad.
just keep busy - as it sounds like you are.
you need to go out with some friends and have some fun.
get the music on and dance


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Im really sorry about your losses. I lost my grandmother a few weeks ago. i was lucky enough to say my goodbye's before she passed. It was really sad when I looked on my calendar and I saw it was her birthday. She died a week or so before her birthday. 

With the divorce and everything else it will just take time. One thing that might help is learning about the grieving process. It helps sometimes to know that what you are feeling is a cycle and it will be intense sometimes, but it will pass, and eventually you will be able to move on.


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

So sorry to hear of your loss, losing both Grandma's in one month, that must have been terrible. "And having a sick animal that you love can be so hard to take, I know, as hubby and I have a sick dog right now, we are biding time till it's time to say goodbye. 

And also, losing a marriage, in fact, that can feel much like a death too. It's the death of a relationship, and as such, you'll need time to grieve that relationship.

It's hard in the beginning when you lose someone you love, but, as the other posters say, time truly will heal your wounds.

That is the wonderful thing about life, we love, we lose, we hurt terribly, but eventually we are able to smile again.

Tops, is that you've got to keep busy, with work, or if you have a hobby you really love, or taking care of your horse.

Pour yourself into other things, and when you need to cry, or grieve, or hit a pillow, then you do that, and you let those feelings out, and then you pick yourself back up, and try to get through the next day.

Missing him will eventually pass. And , you know what they say, when God closes one door, he opens another one. 

You'll almost assuredly love again... But for now, and for always, love yourself. Give it time, and stay busy. Good luck, and Blessings..


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