# My husband has diabetes



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

When my husbands blood sugar is high he is terrible. My stomach twists as soon as he comes through the door. He won't take care of himself we've been married 32 years I don't want to divorce him but I matter too and I'm worn out. He says I shouldn't let his moods affect me but it is hard not to be upset when he rages. HELP PLEASE


----------



## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

I have type 2 -- and have it for few years.

If he doesn't take care of himself -- it can lead to more serious conditions that include going blind, amputation of limbs, and even death. He needs to take this serious and get his a$$ to the doctor and get this under control.

I am not trying to scare you -- just being honest from the talk I had with my doctor.

Good luck !


----------



## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

tdwal said:


> Oh yeah I forgot about blindness.


Love is blind :bunny:


----------



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

Thank you everyone for your responses! Sometimes you just feel so alone and things seem too hard to bear.


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

He can get kidney damage from uncontrolled blood sugar levels. I know someone who had severe kidney damage as a result of not controlling his diabetes. He's on the verge of needing kidney dialysis. 

Is your husband getting the A1C blood test done regularly? That should clue his doctor as to how often your husband in the past few weeks has kept his glucose within the limits.


----------



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

His AC1 was 12!!! It has been super high for years. He has had two heart attacks already.


----------



## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Virginia Patricia said:


> His AC1 was 12!!! It has been super high for years. He has had two heart attacks already.


Holy cow. Well, if those things haven't motivated him I don't know what will. I have type 2 and recently started on Lantus injections (which work wonderfully). I have two kids at home. Yet I still don't take good care of myself. Drives me insane.

I've never noticed the level of my blood sugar affecting my moods though?


----------



## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

His A1C was 12?!?!?!?! Holy crap!

What are his high ranges??? 

I posted in your other thread... Here, I'll quote myself:



StatusQuo said:


> My husband is a type 1 diabetic, and is prone to rages as well. I've never considered that the two could be related.
> 
> For me, when my husband gets into one of his rages (he breaks things, slams his fists, yells, punches walls, etc.), I take the kids and leave whatever part of the house he's in. It's scary, and I feel your pain on this. I wish I had words of wisdom to help you out, but alas, it's the VERY reason why I am here as well.


----------



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

You've probably never had high blood sugar for years though. He runs around 240 normally.


----------



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

StatusQuo
I'm so sorry it is so difficult. I wish he would get control. It isn't fair to the people around them when they rage. Although I must say I am far from perfect myself. I love my husband dearly or I wouldn't have stayed so long. I've had 10 years of counseling and could use a lot more. Life is not easy with a diabetic it is like a rollercoaster. I wish you all the best.


----------



## Readytogo (Jul 11, 2012)

Virginia Patricia said:


> His AC1 was 12!!! It has been super high for years. He has had two heart attacks already.



WOW! WAY too high. is he type 1 or 2?
No wonder he's moody.

My son has type 1 and freaks out if his blood sugar is staying in the 200-300 too long. He feels horible and there's no reasoning with him until his levels are back in range. He just got on the insulin pump and is doing so much better.

Sounds like he needs a better doctor to help manage him. He should be seen monthly until his A1C is back down. Is he seeing a regular family physician or a endocrinologist? 
He really needs a endocrinologist.


----------



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

he hasn't been taking the meds he should that is the problem some how in his head he is denying he has diabetes and won't even let me say the word. He said it is disrespectful to him.


----------



## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

Virginia Patricia said:


> You've probably never had high blood sugar for years though. He runs around 240 normally.


His "normal" is 240? Yikes!! Does he miss shots? What's he on for insulin? Does he attempt to control it at all?? Has he looked into getting a pump?


----------



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

My son has type one my husband has type two. I went to the doctor with him as a last attempt to save our marriage. I was shocked that his AC1 was so out of control. He acted like it was nothing out of the norm. He is beginning to see that I am at the end of my patience with him. He's lost jobs because of his attitude. It's been hard.


----------



## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

Readytogo said:


> My son has type 1 and freaks out if his blood sugar is staying in the 200-300 too long. He feels horible and there's no reasoning with him until his levels are back in range. He just got on the insulin pump and is doing so much better.


I don't want to threadjack, but I'm curious what your son got for a pump, and if he likes it. Hubby's been looking into getting one, but he's afraid to. It's a big change from injections.


----------



## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Virginia Patricia said:


> You've probably never had high blood sugar for years though. He runs around 240 normally.


Actually, I have. I was diagnosed in 2001. I kept good control of it for about 5 years then let it get away from me. For about 2 years I was running 220+ every time I checked it. Once I got out of my denial funk and got back on it, I got it under control again (6 months ago).

But I swear I've never noticed any kind of mood swing. Whenever I would get really high readings, it would surprise me because I felt fine. Guess it's different for different people.

I wish I had an answer for you. He has to want to get it under control before it'll happen. Unfortunately you can't force him.


----------



## rrrbbbttt (Apr 6, 2011)

Sorry to be blunt but, unless he starts doing something he is going to die. Normal BS should be no higher then 120 as he is diabetic.

What medicine is he on. Insulin? Metaformin? Actoplus?

Is he overweight?

Also, is he exercising? This is needed for the body to heal itself. Also, an exercise program can help with the ED.

You stated he had 2 heart attacks, has he at least started a walking program?


----------



## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

BeachGuy - My hubby gets grumpy when his readings are high. I can often tell that he's high before he does. He doesn't seem to notice that he's a miserable jerk to be around until it's pointed out to him.  

I never thought about there being an association between his blood sugar and his rages though. Next time he rages I'm going to make him test himself, for my own curiousity (after he calms down a little).


----------



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

My son wants to get the pump my husband will not get the pump he said that it is ridicoulous and he will not wear it = denial!!! Wow most people saying it doesn't bother their moods now I'm confused, is he just a jerk?


----------



## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

A1C of 12 is well beyond oral medication... He should be on insulin if he isn't already.


----------



## Readytogo (Jul 11, 2012)

StatusQuo said:


> I don't want to threadjack, but I'm curious what your son got for a pump, and if he likes it. Hubby's been looking into getting one, but he's afraid to. It's a big change from injections.


Sure - it had to be authorized by our insurance first. 

Paradigm insulin pump from Medtronics

They shipped everything at our home and had someone come in to show him how to work it. His count/monitor also "talks" to the pump. And is configured online so docs can review his counts - (more accurate and less work for my son) etc.


----------



## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Diabetes is such an incideous disease because of the extreme slow decline in health. You feel fine most of the time yet it's eating away at your body ever so slowly.

No fair.


----------



## Virginia Patricia (Aug 14, 2012)

He goes to a Nurse Practitioner he likes her because she is so sweet. Won't cross him or hold him accountable. He has a death wish. It is so sad to love someone and they could care less.


----------



## Readytogo (Jul 11, 2012)

BeachGuy said:


> Diabetes is such an incideous disease because of the extreme slow decline in health. You feel fine most of the time yet it's eating away at your body ever so slowly.
> 
> No fair.



True that:iagree:

That's why exercise and diet are so critical. People haven't a clue just how important!


----------



## Readytogo (Jul 11, 2012)

Virginia Patricia said:


> He goes to a Nurse Practitioner he likes her because she is so sweet. Won't cross him or hold him accountable. He has a death wish. It is so sad to love someone and they could care less.


This NP - is she in a family practice or diabetes clinic?
Doesnt sound like she's doing your husband any favors-


----------



## Readytogo (Jul 11, 2012)

Virginia Patricia said:


> He goes to a Nurse Practitioner he likes her because she is so sweet. Won't cross him or hold him accountable. He has a death wish. It is so sad to love someone and they could care less.


I feel your pain. I'm so sorry.
You have enough to deal with - with your sons health. *You're husbands denial is pretty selfish.*You would think he would know the importance of diabetes since you have a type 1 son. Has he helped with your sons diabletes in the past? Helped with shots, educational care etc..


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Virginia Patricia said:


> When my husbands blood sugar is high he is terrible. My stomach twists as soon as he comes through the door. He won't take care of himself we've been married 32 years I don't want to divorce him but I matter too and I'm worn out. He says I shouldn't let his moods affect me but it is hard not to be upset when he rages. HELP PLEASE


This is why sugar is out of my diet.


----------



## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Virginia Patricia said:


> My son wants to get the pump my husband will not get the pump he said that it is ridicoulous and he will not wear it = denial!!! Wow most people saying it doesn't bother their moods now I'm confused, is he just a jerk?


Yeah, I'm a type 1 and I will say that high sugars make me very cranky indeed. Almost on the verge of an anxiety attack at times. 

I have a feeling if your son is type 1 there would explain some of his resistance. Does your son self medicate? Do you all eat the same food, or does he have a special diet just for him? Do you make a "lot of fuss" over your son? Any references to "just type 2" as opposed to type 1 would cause this, even if you didn't mean it.

he could use some support. There are websites he can join for free and talk to others who are in the same position. Offer practical advice, and sometimes just a person to help you stay motivated to stay on track. And you can join too.

All I can comment is that one gets used to feeling crappy. They don't know how "good" feels. 

. 
I have a saying in my house. "Take care of ME when I need it so I can take care of you the rest of the time". Does that make any sense to you? Offer to take care of him in a way that you are able to (food, meds) so he can take care of his family by being "there" for them.

If that doesn't work... get tough.
It's his disease. It's his responsibility to look after himself, or not. But he has no right to make his problem your problem, meaning he can't use it as an excuse to be grouchy.

Perfect control doesn't get any attention.
Type 1 and 2 are not the same disease. Both are equally just as damaging.


----------



## Readytogo (Jul 11, 2012)

Hi V.P.
Checking in. How are things?


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Your husband might be frightened of it all. Does your doctor have a diabetes nurse?

Since starting on Metformin even my colleagues have noticed how chilled I am...


----------



## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Welcome to the club.
Sadly, hypertension and diabetes go hand in hand. Metformin, as Matt says, is helpful.
My wife and I walk everyday. Start an exercise routine with him, perhaps something you both enjoy.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

BjornFree said:


> Welcome to the club.
> Sadly, hypertension and diabetes go hand in hand. Metformin, as Matt says, is helpful.
> My wife and I walk everyday. Start an exercise routine with him, perhaps something you both enjoy.


Oh, yes! Hypertension. When my doctor first diagnosed high blood pressure she shouted: "Oh, s**t!" it was so bad.

My wife and I walk a lot, too. About 6 to 8 miles a day.


----------

