# Why is my wife only happy when I'm miserable?



## Null (Jul 2, 2012)

She can't _stand_ it when I'm sitting in my recliner playing games, working on side projects or just surfing the internet, which is what makes me happiest. I do like going out with her and taking trips, but I don't like going for walks in 100 degree weather, riding bikes, doing laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning the cat litter, doing the dishes or mowing the lawn all late on Sunday night before I have to get up and go to work the next morning. Every weekend it's the same.

I don't dare make any more points or give more details because feeling vindicated would only make it harder.

Just tell me I'm lazy.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

Someone has to do the household & yard chores. If you don't want to, can you afford to pay someone to do them? Pretty sure your wife probably doesn't want to do them as well.


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## KittyKat (May 11, 2008)

You are lazy (per your request). If you know she's going to ask you to do these things, why don't you knock most of it out Friday's when you get home?
Does she do a lot around the house? Does she work? Kids to take care of?
I love this quote from a movie: Do what you gotta do so you can do what you wanna do.

You want to play video games, surf the web, etc.
So do these things after you do what needs to be done.

As for cat litter. Your cat craps in it. Would you prefer your cat walk all over crap and then walk on your floors, furniture, etc. and carry tiny little bits of cat crap everywhere? Ewwwwww.


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## CrazyVixen (Jun 14, 2012)

I agree with the other posters. These things also depend, however. 
Does she work, take care of kids, etc? You have to be able to respect that she has responsibilities as well, yet you still have to clean. No matter what. It's not going to go away, but build up and get worse.
What I do is come home from work, chill for an hour, and then clean for at least 30 minutes a day. I give myself a 30 minute bracket to do everything I can around the house. This way when the weekend rolls around I'm not in over my head in chores.
Make sense?


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Sounds to me like you want as much fun as you can have with as little responsibility as possible. Pretty normal, but part of growing up means that you learn self-discipline so you aren't a burden on others. That requires doing your fair share of the household tasks.


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## Trojan John (Sep 30, 2011)

He wrote that he doesn't LIKE to do household chores, not that he doesn't do them. It seems that she gets upset because she is cleaning or whatever and she expects you do to the same at the same time. I had the same issue with my wife -- expectation management. She cannot get upset when you don't move to her arbitrary schedule. Make sure to share duties and communicate when you are going to relax, and suggest she do the same.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

Marriage takes two. Do the housework together and have fun together after it's done.

Seems pretty simple to me.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why do these things have to be done late Sunday night? Seems that there should be a better time to do them.


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## YellowRoses (Jun 2, 2012)

Agree what needs doing over the weekend and who is going to do it and then be lazy AFTER you've done what needs doing

If you've done your share BEFORE you play doubt it would grate on your wife

BUT if the issue (which is probably more likely) is that one partner is not pulling their weight overall then that's a whole other ball game


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