# You Know She's Lying When...



## Empty Shell of a Man (Jan 30, 2017)

When she swears to God...(need to call upon God as witness) 
When she keeps changing her passwords...
When she refuses transparency with her smart phone...(other than Christmas presents) 
When she says he and she are "just friends" instead of saying they are friends... "just" means she is comparing one thing with another. In this case, she is comparing platonic with romantic 

When she tells you what *didn't* happen when you did not ask her if "that" happened....
When she refers to you as "the husband" and not "my husband" 

A few more ways to know she is lying (and it goes for "him" too)

Listen if she mentions a male coworker's name. This is not bad. 
Listen if she repeats it *on the same night she brought it up* Repeating it is not only on her mind, but is deliberate. 

If she "disappears" from a sentence. Example:

"_just went out to lunch with co worker_" missing the "I" (and the co worker's presence)

Listen for gender neutral language....sometimes it is used to conceal but if "he" goes from a "nice person" to a "nice guy"....you need to ask more questions. 

You know she's lying when....

Add your own!


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

When confronted with videos, pictures and walking in on her riding the UPS guy..."Wasn't me"


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

...her lips are moving!

:lol: :rofl:


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Dang.........beat me to it, Gus.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

When they say I can't remember.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

I love you but I am not in love with you.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

EunuchMonk said:


> I love you but I am not in love with you.


That might not be a lie.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> ...her lips are moving!
> 
> :lol: :rofl:


No, that's for an alcoholic! :grin2:


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

EunuchMonk said:


> I love you but I am not in love with you.





MattMatt said:


> That might not be a lie.


It wasn't a lie when I said it. I wasn't having an affair, either.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

They say they just kissed. 

We held hands once. 

That's all that happened....

We are just good friends.

They're like a bother/sister to me.

They're not my type.

Of course the kids are yours.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> That might not be a lie.





FeministInPink said:


> It wasn't a lie when I said it. I wasn't having an affair, either.



She/he doesn't love you. The distinction I think is stupid.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

EunuchMonk said:


> She/he doesn't love you. The distinction I think is stupid.


it's not a stupid distinction.

I love my sister, but I'm not in love with her.
I love my dad and my grandparents and my aunts and uncles, but I'm not in love with them.
I love my friends (male and female!), but I'm not in love with them.

I'm IN LOVE with my partner. It feels TOTALLY different.

I love a lot of people. I'm only IN LOVE with one person at a time. In fact, I've only been IN LOVE twice in my life. It's a HUGE difference.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

FeministInPink said:


> it's not a stupid distinction.
> 
> I love my sister, but I'm not in love with her.
> I love my dad and my grandparents and my aunts and uncles, but I'm not in love with them.
> ...


Have you broken up/divorced your sister or grandfather? Didn't think so. Why? Because you love them. If you leave the person, you don't love them.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

... she tells you he's gay.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*When she refuses to look you in the eye whenever you ask her a question about where she's been and who she's been out with!*


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

When you catch them in bed together and "it's not what you're thinking".

It was just one time!!!!

It was a mistake!!! Ok, after the 30th time?


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

EunuchMonk said:


> Have you broken up/divorced your sister or grandfather? Didn't think so. Why? Because you love them. If you leave the person, you don't love them.


Well, that's a silly analogy, since one can't marry a family member. You have to be married or in a romantic relationship to break up or divorce.

I love a good friend of mine, but we had to "break up" because I could no longer endure her abuse (which stemmed from her mental illness). I still love her, but I can't have her in my life anymore because of the damage it was causing to me. But I still love her. I think about her all the time and wonder how she is doing. I can't find out, because at the time of our "break up" she had already broken off all our mutual friendships, and I have no contact information for her family.

Sometimes, you have to leave someone you love for your own well-being and emotional health. I'm not Jesus. I'm not a martyr.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

When she says "no,it's not a new coat,I've had it for ages".


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

EunuchMonk said:


> Have you broken up/divorced your sister or grandfather? Didn't think so. Why? Because you love them. If you leave the person, you don't love them.


But what if they do not leave that person?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

FeministInPink said:


> Well, that's a silly analogy, since one can't marry a family member. You have to be married or in a romantic relationship to break up or divorce.
> 
> I love a good friend of mine, but we had to "break up" because I could no longer endure her abuse (which stemmed from her mental illness). I still love her, but I can't have her in my life anymore because of the damage it was causing to me. But I still love her. I think about her all the time and wonder how she is doing. I can't find out, because at the time of our "break up" she had already broken off all our mutual friendships, and I have no contact information for her family.
> 
> Sometimes, you have to leave someone you love for your own well-being and emotional health. I'm not Jesus. I'm not a martyr.


I agree. You have to be careful of the company you keep.

As the Spanish proverb says, "Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are."


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

FeministInPink said:


> Well, that's a silly analogy, since one can't marry a family member. You have to be married or in a romantic relationship to break up or divorce.
> 
> Sometimes, you have to leave someone you love for your own well-being and emotional health. I'm not Jesus. I'm not a martyr.


Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's silly. I used divorce and break up to say, Would you leave someone you love? No. Maybe create a little distance? Sure. You love for this friend seems like the empty platitude that gets thrown around. "I love chicken. I love sports." If this friend cut off the friendship from you then that's different. Yes, I agree, you are not Jesus. Never will be.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> But what if they do not leave that person?


They don't leave because they love them.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

EunuchMonk said:


> Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's silly. I used divorce and break up to say, Would you leave someone you love? No. Maybe create a little distance? Sure. You love for this friend seems like the empty platitude that gets thrown around. "I love chicken. I love sports." If this friend cut off the friendship from you then that's different. Yes, I agree, you are not Jesus. Never will be.


So, by your logic, if a partner, whom I love, starts abusing me psychologically and hitting me, I should stay? That staying out of love is more important than preserving my mental and physical health?


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

FeministInPink said:


> So, by your logic, if a partner, whom I love, starts abusing me psychologically and hitting me, I should stay? That staying out of love is more important than preserving my mental and physical health?


You would love someone who is abusing you psychologically and physically?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

EunuchMonk said:


> You would love someone who is abusing you psychologically and physically?


A lot of people do. 

My first LTR girlfriend had three children.

Her husband would regularly beat her up.

The last time he attacked her he attacked her in the street in front of their terrified children.

She was so badly injured that she was hospitalised and left with permanent kidney damage.

She was visited by a Social Worker in hospital who said: "If you don't leave your husband, we will put your children into care."

So she got a divorce from him. Yet she was still deeply in love with him.


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## 23cm (Dec 3, 2016)

EunuchMonk said:


> You would love someone who is abusing you psychologically and physically?


As a former board member of a domestic violence agency, I can tell you the sad answer to that question is: "Thousands of women and men do."


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

You find condoms in her overnight bag prior to a trip and she says "I use them on my vibrator".


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

drifting on said:


> They say they just kissed.
> They're like a bother/sister to me.


"but you had sex with your brother..."

Oh snap!

(PS: The above is a joke)


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

@ mattmatt : A lot of people like to feel the pain... Perhaps if they meet someone in BDSM, they'd get pain while also getting respect as a human being.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Here is one I actually got from my WW.

"When I said netflix and chill, I mean all we are doing is watching NETFLIX and drinking. We are not F~~ we're just friends"

Note, she told me what the phrase REALLY meant the week before as I never heard of it.... and she forgot. We did not have netflix in our home at the time.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

MAJDEATH said:


> You find condoms in her overnight bag prior to a trip and she says "I use them on my vibrator".


Some women DO use condoms on their vibrators, which I always thought was weird, personally... just use some toy cleaner or wipes on it.

Not justifying the lie, just sayin'.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

FeministInPink said:


> MAJDEATH said:
> 
> 
> > You find condoms in her overnight bag prior to a trip and she says "I use them on my vibrator".
> ...


Except she didn't pack a vib for the trip.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

MAJDEATH said:


> Except she didn't pack a vib for the trip.


:surprise:

She's a liar!!!


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

MAJDEATH said:


> Except she didn't pack a vib for the trip.





FeministInPink said:


> :surprise:
> 
> She's a liar!!!




Perhaps she wanted to purchase a new toy when she got wherever she was traveling to and bought the condoms on sale. 🤔🤔😳


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

drifting on said:


> Perhaps she wanted to purchase a new toy when she got wherever she was traveling to and bought the condoms on sale. 🤔🤔😳


Now you're just rationalizing! Lol

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

FeministInPink said:


> Now you're just rationalizing! Lol
> 
> Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk





Ahh, yes, but doing it so well!! 😂😂


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## DoneThinking (Aug 31, 2016)

Variation on the theme, after she said "It wasn't me in those pictures" (she was wearing a wig) "that girl is a blond" .
then I asked about the emails, she said "I was doing research for a book I'm writing."


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## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

I'm a betrayed spouse and I'm a female and this site seems to be extremely judgemental on female cheaters and some of the betrayed male posters are just down mean spirited as if it's only women who cheats. For example, look at the title of this post. Guys, it's not just women doing the cheating and lying. 

Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

maritalloneliness said:


> I'm a betrayed spouse and I'm a female and this site seems to be extremely judgemental on female cheaters and some of the betrayed male posters are just down mean spirited as if it's only women who cheats. For example, look at the title of this post. Guys, it's not just women doing the cheating and lying.


Not just judgmental of female cheaters, but there are many men here who are judgmental of all women in general because one woman cheated on them (or if there was no cheating, because their marriage was bad).

You can try to reason with posters like these, but it very rarely works. I tend to just avoid them and the thread in which they congregate. You might be wise to do the same.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/12376497-post55.html


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