# How often is "regular" for couple to have sex?



## Funfilledcouple (10 mo ago)

We have been married for 20+ years and feel we are "fairly" active in our sex lives, but how do we know? Would you be willing to share your weekly - monthly number? We try 1 "full" night session....(everything is on the table), 1 quick session and a morning (weekend) fun session where we have some fun...could be intense and full, could be quick, could be oral or just a solo finish.... we often ask ourselves are we active like others?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Funfilledcouple said:


> We have been married for 20+ years ............Would you be willing to share your weekly - monthly number? We try 1 "full" night session....(everything is on the table), 1 quick session and a morning (weekend) fun session where we have some fun...could be intense and full, could be quick, could be oral or just a solo finish.... we often ask ourselves are we active like others?


You are on a fool's quest.

I am a fan of David Schnarch and his philosophy toward marriage. One of his famous thoughts was that there is no "right" amount or frequency of sex. It all has to be negotiated just like almost everything in a marriage.

For example if a man has a "medium sex drive" the amount of sex per week he wants with a High (demand) Libido woman might not be "enough" for her and yet for a Low Libido woman might be way too much.

One of Schnarh's famous examples is that just like there is no correct amount of chocolate ice cream per week after dinner, there is no correct amount of sex. It all depends on what the two people have negotiated and agreed to.

Now to answer your question. In my marriage I was in a sex starved marriage and just about ready to divorce my wife. A sex therapist helped the two of us negotiate a compromise on sexual frequency that seems to have worked. Our compromise was way more than my wife wanted, and at the extreme lower end of what I could live with. Our compromise was making love twice a week. I needed more, she needed less, but we could each barely live with the compromise.

Good luck.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Young at Heart said:


> You are on a fool's quest.
> 
> I am a fan of David Schnarch and his philosophy toward marriage. One of his famous thoughts was that there is no "right" amount or frequency of sex. It all has to be negotiated just like almost everything in a marriage.
> 
> ...


Not to hijack the thread Young but if that is more than your wife wanted, how does she deal with it? Is she really into it or does she just tolerate it and go through the motions to meet the agreement? Is there ever more than twice a week and would she ever initiate it?

OK sorry for the hijack OP. Just curious as to what Young replied with.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Friday night, Saturday and or Sunday morning, and possibly one other time. 3 times a week is our average.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Oh, and an average session is 20-30 minutes to a rare 1-2 hour session. I go to work at 5:30 am and have 2 kids home. I'm up at 4:45 and we get busy at 10. I'm not up for a midnight to 2 am encounter unless I'm on vacation.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

Funfilledcouple said:


> We have been married for 20+ years and feel we are "fairly" active in our sex lives, but how do we know? Would you be willing to share your weekly - monthly number? We try 1 "full" night session....(everything is on the table), 1 quick session and a morning (weekend) fun session where we have some fun...could be intense and full, could be quick, could be oral or just a solo finish.... we often ask ourselves are we active like others?


Married 17 years, 2x a week is about what we do. I can't remember going more than a week without, and can't remember doing it on consecutive days either. We are lucky, our sex drives are spot on the same (at least I think they are....maybe hope is a better word). We have been picking up day time quickies though, but I don't really count those.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

There are those who have sex every day and those who rarely have sex. There is no 'normal'. It's a question than can't be answered and why do you even need to ask? If what you do works for you that's all that matters.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Answers will be all over the map. Over the past few years we average about 4 times a week. Past six months more like 5 to 6. Past month has averaged more than 7/week. It comes and goes though and we also have lots of other intimacy too. At the end of the day what is important is mutual satisfaction and happiness. Married 32 years BTW.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Been together 16 years and sex is minimum 3 times a week. Some weeks are upwards of 10-12 times


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

We both pet the dog.......does this count ??


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Zero times this calendar year. Not counting the time she stopped soon after we started.

Together 29 years, married 23.


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## Travelmom (10 mo ago)

Funfilledcouple said:


> We have been married for 20+ years and feel we are "fairly" active in our sex lives, but how do we know? Would you be willing to share your weekly - monthly number? We try 1 "full" night session....(everything is on the table), 1 quick session and a morning (weekend) fun session where we have some fun...could be intense and full, could be quick, could be oral or just a solo finish.... we often ask ourselves are we active like others?


Married 36 years. We always had active sex life. Husband had affair that he regretted, but now I'm lucky if once every other month. I need more. I would like every day, but would settle for once a week.


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## Travelmom (10 mo ago)

PieceOfSky said:


> Zero times this calendar year. Not counting the time she stopped soon after we started.
> 
> Together 29 years, married 23.


Sounds like my hubby. I want daily or at Least weekly, but he is ok with monthly.


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## Rooster2015 (Jun 12, 2015)

Twice a week here. i am in my mid sixty’s


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

PieceOfSky said:


> Zero times this calendar year. Not counting the time she stopped soon after we started.
> 
> Together 29 years, married 23.


Zero?


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Well, according to this person, only 31 percent of couples have sex more than once per week. Which would mean TAM is the anomaly...or the entire 31 percent?

But she is also appalled at the idea a husband would divorce over lack of sex so take it for what its worth.









Our Answer Queen Responds: "Help! I Don't Want to Have Sex With My Husband"


After 40 years of marriage, one woman wonders if she still needs to perform her “wifely duties.” The Answer Queen weighs in.




nexttribe.com


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Mid-60s, together 22 years; it varies, but typically about 5x a week.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Well, according to this person, only 31 percent of couples have sex more than once per week. Which would mean TAM is the anomaly...or the entire 31 percent?
> 
> But she is also appalled at the idea a husband would divorce over lack of sex so take it for what its worth.
> 
> ...


I make a joke about this but the sad part if you read the beginning of that article, is this person is an author who says lack of sex as being OK in marriages and suggests guys just "getting themselves off" as opposed to the wife having to have sex. She says something like one quarter of long term marriage have no sex at all yet they are happy???

No intent to hijack but thought this was interesting when you talk about frequency and such in a marriage. Outside of TAM it would appear the idea of a good married sex life is viewed as being "male selfish" and men should be happy with a 1x per week allotment? I have seen this mentality in more than one resource.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Just often enough to keep them from arriving here and complaining about their sex life.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

How long is a piece of string.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> How long is a piece of string.


Good one!


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Zero…


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Well, according to this person, only 31 percent of couples have sex more than once per week. Which would mean TAM is the anomaly...or the entire 31 percent?
> 
> But she is also appalled at the idea a husband would divorce over lack of sex so take it for what its worth.
> 
> ...


I read some articles, some seems ok, some seems to just ride all the same old adages, with poking fun at Hs that would like more sex, here and there.
But Interesting read even for someone repeating what has been said forever.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Not to hijack the thread Young but if that is more than your wife wanted, how does she deal with it? Is she really into it or does she just tolerate it and go through the motions to meet the agreement? Is there ever more than twice a week and would she ever initiate it?
> 
> OK sorry for the hijack OP. Just curious as to what Young replied with.


Just as I enjoy pleasuring my wife, she has learned to enjoy pleasuring me, even if she is not in the mood initially. 

I would wager that you enjoy and take pride in being able to bring your spouse to an orgasm. 

She had to change her mindset (with the help of the Sex Therapist) so that sex with me brings her emotional pleasure from pride in what her body can do to me to focusing on the post coital cuddling and bonding. Again, she had to change herself, I could not have forced her to change.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

CountryMike said:


> Zero?


Yes.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Young at Heart said:


> Just as I enjoy pleasuring my wife, she has learned to enjoy pleasuring me, even if she is not in the mood initially.
> 
> I would wager that you enjoy and take pride in being able to bring your spouse to an orgasm.
> 
> She had to change her mindset (with the help of the Sex Therapist) so that sex with me brings her emotional pleasure from pride in what her body can do to me to focusing on the post coital cuddling and bonding. Again, she had to change herself, I could not have forced her to change.


Thanks Young.



Young at Heart said:


> Again, she had to change herself, I could not have forced her to change


I think THIS is the hurdle that is the toughest part as mine has no interest.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

And you're bearing with a zero sex life? I guess that's my question, how could one tolerate it. No judgement just my trying to wrap my head around that aspect.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I read some articles, some seems ok, some seems to just ride all the same old adages, with poking fun at Hs that would like more sex, here and there.
> But Interesting read even for someone repeating what has been said forever.


The comments at the end are at least inline with much of what we all talk about here even though the main articles are more husband bashing for wanting sex. The sad part to me is THIS seems to be the prevailing belief in many circles and I imagine people like my wife and her friends probably share this sentiment amongst themselves and thus perpetuate that line of thinking.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> And you're bearing with a zero sex life? I guess that's my question, how could one tolerate it. No judgement just my trying to wrap my head around that aspect.


I am guessing your reply was to Piece of Sky?


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Average for healthy couples is 3 to 5 times a week.


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> And you're bearing with a zero sex life? I guess that's my question, how could one tolerate it. No judgement just my trying to wrap my head around that aspect.


I chose to put on hold my “intent” to divorce after becoming empty nesters, as we dealt with, or tried to deal with, in the last 1.3 years: some life and death physical and mental health issues, job loss, another mental health crises, a car accident, and death of a family member. At the start of all that, she let go of some of her resentment towards me, started making an effort in the marriage including bedroom, if for no other reason than fear of losing stability and emotional support. I value certain aspects of her, and my children, more than having a “true” and meaningful sexual relationship in our marriage. Those values are in play now, and “conveniently” have been in play before.

There is an ever looming dealbreaker, or so I think, with her substance abuse. The question to stay or go is thought about daily, but up til now I keep choosing to stay.

Codependent? Maybe. Certainly was before. But, perhaps, I’ve made my choices clearer to myself. They are mine.

If there is relevance to this thread, it is some situations are more broken than others. Towards one end, both people are healthy and desires match or are slightly off. Towards the other end, sexual problems are just a symptom, not the root problem.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

If not feeling well/ injury ~ 3x week. Wife still wants to have sex when passing kidney stone. She says maybe it will shake something loose. Usually 4-5x. Been married 25 yrs. Together 26. I'm 50, she is 54.

After 2nd day of no sex we both kind of get out of sorts mentally. It feels like we have not seen each other in a week. If I have not initiated, she does. She has not said no in YEARS. There has been times where I do not initiate because she is really tired or not feeling overly well/ hurting...that I will not initiate, even though I want to and I know she will not say no....as she is very, very well taken care of sexually. But it is out of love and concern for her rest/health that I would not, but she may start it.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

For once it’s my choice not to have sex… 😊


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Matching drives is seemingly an impossible task. 

Having sex makes me want sex more. About the only time I don’t want it is if I am physically broken.


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## 342853 (Mar 11, 2020)

Im 37, married 15 years together 18. 
Sex once a month, if im lucky


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TJW said:


> We both pet the dog.......does this count ??


I was going to ask if sex with yourself could be added.😋


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Health permitting, once daily with the occasional extra inning.

Sometimes I get distracted by shiny research stuff and she gets ridiculously frisky a couple times a week if I'm not taking care of business.🙂


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

married 28 years anywhere from 4-8 times weekly lately. Milage varies.


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

Funfilledcouple said:


> We have been married for 20+ years and feel we are "fairly" active in our sex lives, but how do we know? Would you be willing to share your weekly - monthly number? We try 1 "full" night session....(everything is on the table), 1 quick session and a morning (weekend) fun session where we have some fun...could be intense and full, could be quick, could be oral or just a solo finish.... we often ask ourselves are we active like others?
> [/QUOpurely.
> 2 to 3 x a week.


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> married 28 years anywhere from 4-8 times weekly lately. Milage varies.


LIAR


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Why ask? The answers are what others need/want. The only thing that should be important is what you need.

By 25 years of marriage we had zero PIV as my wife has physical issues. On the other hand I am a highly sexed individual and have multiple orgasms. I am not satisfied with the lack of PIV, but that is just fact, not an issue.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> Health permitting, once daily with the occasional extra inning.
> 
> Sometimes I get distracted by shiny research stuff and she gets ridiculously frisky a couple times a week if I'm not taking care of business.🙂


Ok, I’m not a baseball expert, but an inning is 1/9 of a game, what does that extra 1/9 of sex entail? 😜


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

David60525 said:


> LIAR


Not sure what would make you think I’m lying. Over the years it’s varied but the last 10 has been fairly consistent though this is less than a few years ago.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

David60525 said:


> LIAR


I know you are but.....😉


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

David60525 said:


> LIAR


Wtf. Rude crap is a bad sign for your side.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

Funfilledcouple said:


> We have been married for 20+ years and feel we are "fairly" active in our sex lives, but how do we know? Would you be willing to share your weekly - monthly number? We try 1 "full" night session....(everything is on the table), 1 quick session and a morning (weekend) fun session where we have some fun...could be intense and full, could be quick, could be oral or just a solo finish.... we often ask ourselves are we active like others?


 We have been together 17 years...5 kids. Early years 3 to 4 tines a week.. now once or twice a week. My husband would like 3 to 4 a week..i could go with once a month. My drive has been at rock bottom since I turned 30. Been to the doctor a couple times for medications...nothing has helped. It's very enjoyable when we do..I just have no need for it.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> We have been together 17 years...5 kids. Early years 3 to 4 tines a week.. now once or twice a week. My husband would like 3 to 4 a week..i could go with once a month. My drive has been at rock bottom since I turned 30. Been to the doctor a couple times for medications...nothing has helped. It's very enjoyable when we do..I just have no need for it.


Could the lack of desire be because you are a narcissist's wife? That doesn't sound like a very attractive trait.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Could the lack of desire be because you are a narcissist's wife? That doesn't sound like a very attractive trait.


Also, I would change make up...


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

David60525 said:


> LIAR


I think this is an early april fools joke.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Both 59 married 36 years 2-3 times per week....if on vacation.....daily. What is it about women and being on vacation? Ladies chime in.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Both 59 married 36 years 2-3 times per week....if on vacation.....daily. What is it about women and being on vacation? Ladies chime in.


I agree about the vacation thing. I've been toying with the idea of making our living room look like the lobby of a Marriot and putting pictures of palm trees in the bedroom windows.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Funfilledcouple said:


> We have been married for 20+ years and feel we are "fairly" active in our sex lives, but how do we know? Would you be willing to share your weekly - monthly number? We try 1 "full" night session....(everything is on the table), 1 quick session and a morning (weekend) fun session where we have some fun...could be intense and full, could be quick, could be oral or just a solo finish.... we often ask ourselves are we active like others?


How long is a story? Seriously, why do you care if you are like others?

No doubt you are exactly like some others, and very unlike some or many. Everything has a bell shaped curve with most in th middle and a few on either extreme. Just check the threads on here, some married couples havent been intimate in decades. Some hit it multiple times every day. Somewhere saw an “average” was several encounters a week.

What is important is if both of you are happy. If so, consider yourselves blessed.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Btw, since u asked:

Now Mid 70s, married 56. Morning n afternoon most days. Early marriage much more. Most of marriage a few encounters a week. Work, kids, business travel, illness(s). Life changes, it doesnt stand still.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Both 59 married 36 years 2-3 times per week....if on vacation.....daily. What is it about women and being on vacation? Ladies chime in.


I don't know about other women so..... I can say for a long time I had trouble with the list in my head. It doesn't feel very sexy when you are in bed thinking about
needing to get your MIL an appointment with a nephologist
If you DD registered for orientation for college
If you will have time to get your evaluation product into your boss by tomorrow afternoon
Doing the dishes when you get up because you went to bed without doing them
Needing to plant a garden and what will you plant this late in the season
Shuffling the payment for the house due to paying for Assisted living...

Add about 20 other things.....

I know many women have trouble getting out of their head and that doesn't even count insecurities about their husband watching porn, being older, or fat or if you might smell or are you being sexy enough or animated enough, loud enough aggressive enough, passive enough, submissive enough..........

So on vacation some of that list tends to fall away and your spouse can't annoy you by whatever they typically do to annoy you like leave dishes in the living room cause you aren't at home.

ETA: one of my love languages is Time Together which also is greatly increased doing pleasant things on vacation.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Dunno about vacations, but earlier in our relationship it was guaranteed that any time we had company she would be frisky afterwards. Needless to say, I looked forward to social events and hosting friends.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Women are frisky on vacation because they get excited by other men ogling them in their swimming gear by the pool...


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## PieceOfSky (Apr 7, 2013)

The vacation thing is not universal, I’m sorry to report.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

PieceOfSky said:


> The vacation thing is not universal, I’m sorry to report.


yep...


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

It's the opposite in my marriage. I'm the one who wants it at least once a day while on vacation or even just out of the house for the night, but my wife's drive tanks. Oh well.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

bobert said:


> It's the opposite in my marriage. I'm the one who wants it at least once a day while on vacation or even just out of the house for the night, but my wife's drive tanks. Oh well.


Yeah ours dips on vacation because we usually do so many active things and are tired. I guess when you have sex regularly at home then vacation isn't a big deal.


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## Mike7777 (9 mo ago)

Wife and I are in 40's, we used to be twice a week. Lately though, my wife is afraid of getting pregnant again (no birth control for religious reasons) and she is very overweight and can only lose weight after pregnancy and subsequent breastfeeding is mostly over. We have an above average number of kids. We also homeschool. Of late she has lost all interest in sex and pretty much admitted to me why. Too bad she didn't even try to get me on board, maybe we could still be united in some way. She stays perpetually busy, throwing herself into work at the computer, managing the kids, homeschooling, activities, and stuff like that. She doesn't work outside the home and we're pretty secure financially.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Mike7777 said:


> Wife and I are in 40's, we used to be twice a week. Lately though, my wife is afraid of getting pregnant again (no birth control for religious reasons) and she is very overweight and can only lose weight after pregnancy and subsequent breastfeeding is mostly over. We have an above average number of kids. We also homeschool. Of late she has lost all interest in sex and pretty much admitted to me why. Too bad she didn't even try to get me on board, maybe we could still be united in some way. She stays perpetually busy, throwing herself into work at the computer, managing the kids, homeschooling, activities, and stuff like that. She doesn't work outside the home and we're pretty secure financially.


All those things you listed are excuses, nothing more. Are you able to take some things off her plate so she has time for a relationship with you? The longer you let your marriage be sexless the harder and less likely you will ever get it back to something "normal".


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Mike7777 said:


> Of late she has lost all interest in sex and pretty much admitted to me why.


And what are the reasons?


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## aaarghdub (Jul 15, 2017)

Late 40s. Out of 30 days in a month, there is no sex during the week (her job) which leaves 8 days available. Of which we never do back-to-back days so that leaves 4. Migraines or periods for 1 of those days. So basically 3x month if I’m not working on the weekends. 

Vacations she’s relaxed but more into entertaining the kids. I might… might get a surprise quickie.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Defhero (Jan 5, 2022)

We don't go to church, but once my wife asked a minister how often should I give my husband sex! He said, in the eye's of marriage, no partner should ever deny the one they love and married, physical intimacy, unless of illness. He told her would you want your husband to have sex with another woman and of coarse she said no. Then he said, this is why you keep him happy in bed. 15 years later, she still shows desire and instigates it, especially if I don't. We on average are about 4-5 times a week. Sometimes more, but never less, unless there is an illness.


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## Defhero (Jan 5, 2022)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> And you're bearing with a zero sex life? I guess that's my question, how could one tolerate it. No judgement just my trying to wrap my head around that aspect.


Take a kid to the candy store and tell em do not touch. You can look, but you can not devour, let alone sample. You can only look. This is what most go through in a sexless marriage, except it is like living in the candy store and being torcher'd everyday....


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## Defhero (Jan 5, 2022)

PieceOfSky said:


> The vacation thing is not universal, I’m sorry to report.


Not universal for all,but are for some. Just our last trip, to an ocean resort, I booked 12 days, and my wife said watch out, we are going to do it every day and we did. She said on the last day, we will need to take a few days, because of soarness and I agreed. Day after we got home, she said she is horny again, and I told her we broke her, she won't turn off now. This year, I am only booked a 10 day trip


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Defhero said:


> Take a kid to the candy store and tell em do not touch. You can look, but you can not devour, let alone sample. You can only look. This is what most go through in a sexless marriage, except it is like living in the candy store and being torcher'd everyday....


I would think eventually you would lose any desire you had for your SO. Only so much rejection you can take before you realize that you don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you.


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## Defhero (Jan 5, 2022)

Numb26 said:


> I would think eventually you would lose any desire you had for your SO. Only so much rejection you can take before you realize that you don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you.


This is what my brother has said, now going on 5 years of a completely sexless marriage. He might look at a few girls here and there, but he won't leave. He says he is committed, but just expects no sex. He has been married 25 years. I have been married to my wife for almost 15 years and we couldn't even imagine and hope to never have to understand...


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Defhero said:


> This is what my brother has said, now going on 5 years of a completely sexless marriage. He might look at a few girls here and there, but he won't leave. He says he is committed, but just expects no sex. He has been married 25 years. I have been married to my wife for almost 15 years and we couldn't even imagine and hope to never have to understand...


Makes no sense too me. Why stay?


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## seadoug105 (Jan 12, 2018)

Defhero said:


> Not universal for all,but are for some. Just our last trip, to an ocean resort, I booked 12 days, and my wife said watch out, we are going to do it every day and we did. She said on the last day, we will need to take a few days, because of soarness and I agreed. Day after we got home, she said she is horny again, and I told her we broke her, she won't turn off now. This year, I am only booked a 10 day trip


Yah Know….. I am really starting to not like you very much….


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Anastasia6 said:


> I don't know about other women so..... I can say for a long time I had trouble with the list in my head. It doesn't feel very sexy when you are in bed thinking about
> needing to get your MIL an appointment with a nephologist
> If you DD registered for orientation for college
> If you will have time to get your evaluation product into your boss by tomorrow afternoon
> ...


Good points all.
But that problem can be solved. Approach sex like a man. I'll use me as an example. 

By this approach I mean although there are bills to pay, house maintenance to do, many work related projects percolating when I know W and I are soon having a liason I park all the mundane thoughts. Takes about 1 second. 

The only thing I'm thinking and enjoying the fact if is hey I'm listening to Alexa, about to have sex with my person of choice, how great is that, and how and what should we do during this romp. My imagination runs a bit, I'm thinking only of my soon to be naked W. Always turns out great.

So goal is tell yourself it's ok to put the mundane stuff thoughts in park and think about upcoming sexual acts. It's easy after practicing.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Good points all.
> But that problem can be solved. Approach sex like a man. I'll use me as an example.
> 
> By this approach I mean although there are bills to pay, house maintenance to do, many work related projects percolating when I know W and I are soon having a liason I park all the mundane thoughts. Takes about 1 second.
> ...


So your solution is instead of being a woman be a man? How about men think like women? How about it's easy..... Just stop thinking about sex all the time.

I just find this kind of condescending to basically say women shouldn't have problems because men don't.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Numb26 said:


> Makes no sense too me. Why stay?


I'll let you in a little secret... some men can do without sex. 

Disclaimer: I like sex and I wouldn't be in a marriage without sex. Frequency can vary, but it must be there...


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Through being together for close to 26 years (almost 23 years married), my wife (51) and I (50) have a shared sexual frequency of mostly around 6-9x a week, with 4-6x a week (with the exception of illness or injury) being our lowest frequency on a slow week. Also when were on holidays or have RDO's through a week, that frequency sometimes reaches around 11-14x a week.

No doubt our frequency is more than some, yet less than others. That said, all that should matter for both of you @Funfilledcouple, is that (like my wife and I) you're both happy with what you share.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Anastasia6 said:


> So your solution is instead of being a woman be a man? How about men think like women? How about it's easy..... Just stop thinking about sex all the time.
> 
> I just find this kind of condescending to basically say women shouldn't have problems because men don't.


Not that women shouldn't have problems but women do indeed know if they truly want to have sex with their SO they will.

And the age old response by a women oh I have too much going on, I can't handle that stuff plus take 30 minutes to have sex with my loving H is overused and on it's face that excuse diminishes women as looking like they're not smart enough to live life and have sex at the same time.

I'm all about equality. I believe a woman can do anything a man can. Until she doesn't want to that is. But that's a different story.

I'm pulling your leg a little on this btw. 🙂


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Defhero said:


> Not universal for all,but are for some. Just our last trip, to an ocean resort, I booked 12 days, and my wife said watch out, we are going to do it every day and we did. She said on the last day, we will need to take a few days, because of soarness and I agreed. Day after we got home, she said she is horny again, and I told her we broke her, she won't turn off now. This year, I am only booked a 10 day trip


On vacation we are usually intimate mornings only. 
We are busy seeing the sights, out late and worn out at days end. Also, wife is always concerned people in adjacent room will hear us, so that puts crimp in our style.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

On average, three times a week, sometimes more if we're feeling extra frisky and somtimes less if one or both of us isn't in the mood for whatever reason (tired, feeling unwell...etc.)

If marriage was decided soley on dating sex, I might still be a single woman!! LOL!

One time during sex when hubby and I were dating, I literally yelled for him to STOP!! I suddenly felt the worst pain in the back of my upper thigh under my butt. I couldn't put any pressure on the spot when I sat down and I couldn't drive home. So he took me to the emergency dept at the hospital.

The doctor examined the back of my upper thigh area under my butt, turned his back to us to read what looked like a small handbook, and then asked me, "Do you have any bumness?"

Bumness?? My husband (then boyfriend) looked at me with a WTF look and the doctor then said "I mean NUMBNESS, numbness!" I literally laughed out loud but hubby wasn't too pleased with the doctor! 

The doctor wasn't sure but said maybe it was sciatic nerve pain. I was out of commission for a couple of weeks and told family and friends that I slipped on some ice and got hurt.

Another time I got "sprayed" right in the eye (Omg, the pressure of it!!), also putting a stop to things. Yet another time I accidentally banged my head so hard on a table nailed to the floor in a hotel room that he was worried I had a concussion.

Chalk it up to me being a bit of a clutz, perhaps with a little goofball thrown in for good measure! LOL!


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## Housecat (Nov 27, 2021)

I'm 40, he's 46. We have been together for 24 years. On average we play for 30 minutes to 3 or 4 hours every night. Most mornings we have a 10 to 15 minute quickie when we wake up. It really is the best way to wake up in a good mood.


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## Defhero (Jan 5, 2022)

Numb26 said:


> Makes no sense too me. Why stay?


It doesn't make sense to us either. He says the dynamics of the things they have, like house, toys, land and so on., she pays the bills, as all extra is up to her where is spent! They both make good money with a house payment under $1000 a month. They live paycheck to paycheck and I do his math. Should have at least $4000 a month left over after bills, food and such. Again, we don't get it!


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Both 59 married 36 years 2-3 times per week....if on vacation.....daily. What is it about women and being on vacation? Ladies chime in.


we had five times in eight days on latest vacation. That never happens at home. Vegas last October? Four times in four days. My theory is that being away from home, away from the routine, no dishes, no laundry, no work to worry about, leads to more fun. Just a theory based on three decades of research.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Longtime Hubby said:


> we had five times in eight days on latest vacation. That never happens at home. Vegas last October? Four times in four days. My theory is that being away from home, away from the routine, no dishes, no laundry, no work to worry about, leads to more fun. Just a theory based on three decades of research.


Hotel sex is always the best sex in my opinion. No worries and other stuff as you point out.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Hotel sex is always the best sex in my opinion. *No worries* and other stuff as you point out.


The wife is always worried the people in adjacent room will hear us. My response is who gives a ****. We are much more rambunctious at our home.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I divorced my ex largely due to lack of sex. I stayed too long as it was. I know that as difficult as divorce can be, it's better than a sexless (and sometimes loveless) marriage. I will no longer be in a sexless (or sexually starved) relationship. I would rather be single and have some control over the _opportunity_ to have sex more often than to be denied and lack hope.

Fortunately, my wife and I love sex, and love each other, so we have sex at least 4x a week - which is a lot less than it was for the first 15 years. For context, we're mid-60s and have been together 22 years.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Rus47 said:


> The wife is always worried the people in adjacent room will hear us. My response is who gives a ****. We are much more rambunctious at our home.


One night a few years ago in Louisville that happened when my wife got vocal. The people in the hallway started giggling.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

I 50, wife 53, Married 25 yrs on the 10th. 4-5 days a week usually.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Divinely Favored said:


> I 50, wife 53, Married 25 yrs on the 10th. 4-5 days a week usually.


“For those about to rock, we salute you” - AC/DC


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## Defhero (Jan 5, 2022)

Mybabysgotit said:


> Married 17 years, 2x a week is about what we do. I can't remember going more than a week without, and can't remember doing it on consecutive days either. We are lucky, our sex drives are spot on the same (at least I think they are....maybe hope is a better word). We have been picking up day time quickies though, but I don't really count those.


I am with you on this, my wife and I are pretty much on the same page. I am a bit more horny than my wife, but she will pleasure me in any way to keep my eyeballs in their sockets. But in general, she is game and seems to be pleased 3-4 times a week. We are in our 50's. 
And who ever mentioned vacations, it's at least once a day and continues for the 12 - 14 days on vacation.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

Defhero said:


> I am with you on this, my wife and I are pretty much on the same page. I am a bit more horny than my wife, but she will pleasure me in any way to keep my eyeballs in their sockets. But in general, she is game and seems to be pleased 3-4 times a week. We are in our 50's.
> And who ever mentioned vacations, it's at least once a day and continues for the 12 - 14 days on vacation.


For sure, vacations are at least once a day, but then again, that's pretty much the reason we go on vacations (without the kids that is). More power to your wife being in her 50's going 3-4x week. Let me ask you, did menopause slow her down at all? I'm hearing mixed feelings about it, some women seem to be more horny and others seem to have lost their drive altogether.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

We do well on vacations and weekend getaways. 5 in 8 days, 2 in 3 recently. Not the daily. But good for ages 62 and 61


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## Defhero (Jan 5, 2022)

Mybabysgotit said:


> For sure, vacations are at least once a day, but then again, that's pretty much the reason we go on vacations (without the kids that is). More power to your wife being in her 50's going 3-4x week. Let me ask you, did menopause slow her down at all? I'm hearing mixed feelings about it, some women seem to be more horny and others seem to have lost their drive altogether.


Yes, it did slow her down a bit, as she use to be 5-6 days a week on average. Since she had a partial hysterectomy in her 40's, menoP was not as bad, so she said.
My wife was smart though. She did not want to take a chance of my eye's to wonder to far (even though I don't think they would), so she stepped up bj's on demand and it was her demand, more than mine lol! This is the type of love me and my wife have and that is why I could never stray, as I would not take a chance of losing what I have (all for what, meaningless sex with someone else), it would be difficult to find this type of love, ever again.....
Also I would like to mention, we both are active and we both workout and eat healthy. This means, we did not let ourselves go (usually at least 1 does). We both want to stay attractive for each other. My wife is a public reserved person and will not accept any man's advance's. We both know, the grass is not greener on the other side, when our grass is as green as can be..


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> The wife is always worried the people in adjacent room will hear us. My response is who gives a ****. We are much more rambunctious at our home.


I've overheard couples in adjacent rooms having sex and it's actually quite entertaining so tell your wife to carry on.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Diceplayer said:


> I've overheard couples in adjacent rooms having sex and it's actually quite entertaining so tell your wife to carry on.


That's the best. I recall being in New Orleans long ago for the Final Four. My buddy and I heard noises next door. Yes, placing a glass to the wall enhances the listening experience greatly. LOL


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Stats vary widely, but most agree it decreases over 40 for many and most agree it's a very individual thing, not something you should expect to adhere to either way. 

Just a couple of samples:








How much sex should couples have? Here's what experts say.


Couples shouldn't compare their own sex lives to other couples, experts say. Here's how to improve your sex life.



www.usatoday.com





Web MD's quick findings:
*Average Number of Times Couples Have Sex Per Week*
‌Research carried out by the General Social Survey shows the following:‌

7% of American adults had sex once or twice in the last year
10% did not have sex in the past year
19% had sex twice or thrice per month
17% had sex once a month
5% had sex four or more times a week
16% had sex twice or thrice per week
25% had sex weekly
‌Another study published in 2019 found that about 47% of married couples have sex less than once a week.‌









How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex?


Learn about the frequency of sex among married couples. Discover why it differs from one couple to another and the factors at play.




www.webmd.com


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Stats vary widely, but most agree it decreases over 40 for many and most agree it's a very individual thing, not something you should expect to adhere to either way.
> 
> Just a couple of samples:
> 
> ...


Twice a week at least. In our 60s. Not bad.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Twice a week at least. In our 60s. Not bad.


The biggest outlier on here are those who have sex a few times a week, even more so than those who only had sex a couple times a year. Yet, we know young couples usually have sex more, except for a lot of them after babies. But this is, I guess, how it averages out over all the age groups.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Stats vary widely, but most agree it decreases over 40 for many and most agree it's a very individual thing, not something you should expect to adhere to either way.
> 
> Just a couple of samples:
> 
> ...


What I think couples really need to work on it the frequency they talk about sex and intimacy. It doesn't always work to talk about it and how you go about that conversation matters, but it seems like most that come here with sexual dissatisfaction either don't talk to their partner or wait way far too long to start the conversation.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> The biggest outlier on here are those who have sex a few times a week, even more so than those who only had sex a couple times a year. Yet, we know young couples usually have sex more, except for a lot of them after babies. But this is, I guess, how it averages out over all the age groups.


It's difficult to believe those that have sex 3 to 5 times a week are outliers. I guess it's just more surprising than difficult to believe. Any week less than four times is atypical for us.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> What I think couples really need to work on it the frequency they talk about sex and intimacy. It doesn't always work to talk about it and how you go about that conversation matters, but it seems like most that come here with sexual dissatisfaction either don't talk to their partner or wait way far too long to start the conversation.


That’s very true. For whatever reason, my wife is uncomfortable talking about sex unless we are about to, during or just after. It’s odd. Married 28 years. Has led to sone arguments. I get accused of focusing too much on sex if I ask “how can I make it better for us.” A fair question, methinks.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> That’s very true. For whatever reason, my wife is uncomfortable talking about sex unless we are about to, during or just after. It’s odd. Married 28 years. Has led to sone arguments. I get accused of focusing too much on sex if I ask “how can I make it better for us.” A fair question, methinks.


It has only been in the last 5 years or so that we've had real in depth and productive discussions about sex. We did talk about it before that, but very sporadically and it never lead to much. That said, we weren't really having issues either.

The new discussions were brought on by the approaching empty nest. We had no kids for the first 10 years of our marriage and sex just would happen whenever we wanted. Kids naturally changed that dynamic and when it was apparent they wouldn't be with us for much longer I wanted a smooth transition back to the old days. After 20+ years I didn't want to just see what happens.

It is too bad that the talks upset your wife. We will occasionally talk about sex right before or after, but only about some specific things. I may ask her what got her over the edge to orgasm or something like that, with the same purpose as you, to make it better for us. However, I made it a point to have most discussions at other times. She usually feels a little embarrassed and maybe self conscious when I start the discussions, but I've gotten pretty good at getting her to engage in the conversation. It has really paid off. Our sex life, quality and quantity, is better than it has ever been. It is too bad your wife doesn't realize that could be the result of talking about sex.

Interesting survey here. It admits it can't prove causation, but there is a correlation between talking about sex and frequency of sex. Couples that talk about sex once a year or less averaged having sex about once every two weeks. Conversations about sex once a month tripled that rate to almost 2x per week and it keeps going up from there. Certainly seems worthwhile to attempt more communication about it.









Talking about sex survey results - Uncovering Intimacy


Talking about sex with your spouse can yield you 5x the amount of sex! But frequency isn't everything. We also talk about quality in this survey.




www.uncoveringintimacy.com


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> It's difficult to believe those that have sex 3 to 5 times a week are outliers. I guess it's just more surprising than difficult to believe. Any week less than four times is atypical for us.


You're just lucky!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You're just lucky!


Don't I know it👍


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Don't I know it👍


Go play the lottery. Bet big on the hockey game tonight. You got it going.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Diceplayer said:


> I've overheard couples in adjacent rooms having sex and it's actually quite entertaining so tell your wife to carry on.


This is humorous. On a trip to the city once, we were nearing sleep when couple went into the room next to ours, they started to get cranked up LOUDLY talking dirty to one another. Very far from my wife's character, she was irate "having to listen to them". As the encounter progressed, I told her we might as well make some noise of our own cuz we wouldn't be getting any sleep for awhile. So we did, but wife insisted on being quiet anyway, didn't want the neighbors to hear us lol.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> This is humorous. On a trip to the city once, we were nearing sleep when couple went into the room next to ours, they started to get cranked up LOUDLY talking dirty to one another. Very far from my wife's character, she was irate "having to listen to them". As the encounter progressed, I told her we might as well make some noise of our own cuz we wouldn't be getting any sleep for awhile. So we did, but wife insisted on being quiet anyway, didn't want the neighbors to hear us lol.


We take the who cares approach when away from home. As in "who cares if someone hears us." My wife is usually quiet, though. I'm the noise maker. Too bad your wife didn't let loose a bit on that night.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Go play the lottery. Bet big on the hockey game tonight. You got it going.


If that was the sign for winning cash money hell I should've won long ago, we do play a couple times a month. If only.
That's ok.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> We take the who cares approach when away from home. As in "who cares if someone hears us." My wife is usually quiet, though. I'm the noise maker. Too bad your wife didn't let loose a bit on that night.


I take the "who cares?" approach, but not the wife. Part of it maybe upbringing, part of it her calm, quiet demeanor in general. She was late forties then, so "letting loose" VERBALLY wasn't going to happen. We still laugh about the couple next door. When we go on a trip, I often tease her that I hope some loud talkers get the room next door, cuz am not sleepy..


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

We just had one like that in Vegas that was crazy loud. I’m like those are rookie numbers let’s crank up the volume!

Did not happen…


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

ccpowerslave said:


> We just had one like that in Vegas that was crazy loud. I’m like those are rookie numbers let’s crank up the volume!


The worst one I remember was in Vegas. I was there alone for a convention. The wife had other commitments and could not come along. I'm awoken at about 2 AM by the bed in the adjacent room banging against the wall and a woman hollering. Was not an enjoyable night, listening to them and being alone.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Diceplayer said:


> The worst one I remember was in Vegas. I was there alone for a convention. The wife had other commitments and could not come along. I'm awoken at about 2 AM by the bed in the adjacent room banging against the wall and a woman hollering. Was not an enjoyable night, listening to them and being alone.


i may have taken the matter into my own hands.


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## ABiolarWife (7 mo ago)

We have been together well over 30 years. And are both high libido. We are early sixties in age. We make love at least once daily. Sometimes twice if we wake up in the mood. Which we do a lot  

And are having the best sex of our lives too!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> We just had one like that in Vegas that was crazy loud. I’m like those are rookie numbers let’s crank up the volume!
> 
> Did not happen…


I guess nobody puts on loud music to drown it out anymore?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I guess nobody puts on loud music to drown it out anymore?


This was absurdly loud like they were putting on a performance or something.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> This was absurdly loud like they were putting on a performance or something.


He probably paid a hooker to make him sound good to his friends next door.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Been together 16 years and sex is minimum 3 times a week. Some weeks are upwards of 10-12 times


Ten to 12 times a week? Seriously? Our all-time best is 7 in 7 days. We salute you


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> This was absurdly loud like they were putting on a performance or something.


maybe they were filming amateur porn?


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Ten to 12 times a week? Seriously? Our all-time best is 7 in 7 days. We salute you


Norm is 1/day 4 days; 2/day 3 days. Yes scheduled 😐. Sometimes extra here n there. 10-12/week. But we are retired. Together more than five decades.

When younger with kids and working typical was 5-7 per week.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

ccpowerslave said:


> We just had one like that in Vegas that was crazy loud. I’m like those are rookie numbers let’s crank up the volume!
> 
> Did not happen…


We still have a 17 yr old at home. Just turn on some bedroom jams but babygirl still has to cover her face with pillow or buries her face in the mattress to muffle herself some. She would die 😳if son knocked on BR door and asked what was the matter in there.😂


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> Norm is 1/day 4 days; 2/day 3 days. Yes scheduled 😐. Sometimes extra here n there. 10-12/week. But we are retired. Together more than five decades.
> 
> When younger with kids and working typical was 5-7 per week.


I don't doubt you. But how in the world is this possible? You say you two are retired. So I'm guessing in your 60s, maybe 70s. I'm floored by the amount of love making. Are you shooting blanks by the end of the week? With kids and working, 5 to 7. Are you from this planet? LOL


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> I don't doubt you. But how in the world is this possible? You say you two are retired. So I'm guessing in your 60s, maybe 70s. I'm floored by the amount of love making. Are you shooting blanks by the end of the week? With kids and working, 5 to 7. Are you from this planet? LOL


Mid 70s. Shoot blanks since vasectomy 4 decades ago. I dont think love every day is anything out of this world. We eat three meals a day, work 10 hours a day, sleep 6-8 hours a day. Hour for intimacy is no big deal in my mind.

Everyone is different


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> Mid 70s. Shoot blanks since vasectomy 4 decades ago. I dont think love every day is anything out of this world. We eat three meals a day, work 10 hours a day, sleep 6-8 hours a day. Hour for intimacy is no big deal in my mind.
> 
> Everyone is different


True. I am impressed, nonetheless. That would never fly in our house.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> True. I am impressed, nonetheless. That would never fly in our house.


Sexual intimacy has basically became a daily occurrence for us. It has just become a regular part of our day


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Longtime Hubby said:


> True. I am impressed, nonetheless. That would never fly in our house.


Wife and I have always been fairly evenly matched, although we switched who had the higher drive many times during our marriage. The lower drive person always "upped their game" to meet the other's needs. I can honestly say we have never turned the other down. If one is ill or worn out, the other knows and doesn't press the issue. When we had Covid together, our count for three weeks was a goose egg. After prostate surgery two decades ago I wasn't any good for nearly a year. We made do with workarounds.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Green with envy. We are close and loving but every night? No chance.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Sexual intimacy has basically became a daily occurrence for us. *It has just become a regular part of our day*


EXACTLY! A Normal part of life. It should IMO be part of every married couple's norm.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Rus47 said:


> Wife and I have always been fairly evenly matched, although we switched who had the higher drive many times during our marriage. The lower drive person always "upped their game" to meet the other's needs. I can honestly say we have never turned the other down. If one is ill or worn out, the other knows and doesn't press the issue. When we had Covid together, our count for three weeks was a goose egg.





Rus47 said:


> EXACTLY! A Normal part of life. It should IMO be part of every married couple's norm.


should be is easy to say. Everyone is different.


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## WhateverMan (4 mo ago)

42 married for 20. Wife is happy with zero sex, never initiates and almost always rejects. I provide wonderfully for her and the family, I help at home, etc. After years YEARS of low self esteem, depression, and resentment as result—now she’s basically my room mate. I am focussing on myself now, working out, mountaineering, scheduling as many guy trips and work trips as I can. Can’t leave cause let’s face it, as the man, we all know I’d lose the kids. I am putting my sex drive aside so I can be a part of my children’s daily lives.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

There could be 100 different answers for how you arrived at that point. Can you possibly consider that half of them may well be your own fault?


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Mr.Married said:


> There could be 100 different answers for how you arrived at that point. Can you possibly consider that half of them may possibly be your fault?


Exactly. I always love the threads that only focus on the amount of sex and those that pile on about well she or he must have sex with you. 

How about looking at the relationship. Some of our male posters that are all about the sex admit that their sex life improved when they worked to improve the relationship with their wives.

Not everyone's sex life is the same because in general we are all different people in different relationships at different life stages. Most couples take a hit after kids. Others improve with empty next.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

As part of this informal research exercise, it would be interesting to learn at what age most women begin The Great Decline.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Sfort said:


> As part of this informal research exercise, it would be interesting to learn at what age most women begin The Great Decline.


Or the Great Incline when the kids leave the house. The marriage one creates before the arrival of either is the thing to study.


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## BlairStL (17 d ago)

Funfilledcouple said:


> We have been married for 20+ years and feel we are "fairly" active in our sex lives, but how do we know? Would you be willing to share your weekly - monthly number? We try 1 "full" night session....(everything is on the table), 1 quick session and a morning (weekend) fun session where we have some fun...could be intense and full, could be quick, could be oral or just a solo finish.... we often ask ourselves are we active like others?





Funfilledcouple said:


> We have been married for 20+ years and feel we are "fairly" active in our sex lives, but how do we know? Would you be willing to share your weekly - monthly number? We try 1 "full" night session....(everything is on the table), 1 quick session and a morning (weekend) fun session where we have some fun...could be intense and full, could be quick, could be oral or just a solo finish.... we often ask ourselves are we active like others?


I think if you are a close couple or married couple..you should both try to make love at least ONCE or TWICE per week


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