# Husband watches cam girls



## [email protected] (12 mo ago)

I recently discovered that my husband has been watching live cam girls, he says he just watches and doesn’t interact, that it is just like regular porn. I feel absolutely heartbroken and I am unable to enjoy sex with him now because I am always wondering if he is comparing me to them, I don’t even orgasm anymore. I even went as far as changing the way I dress to try be more sexy for him, but ended up feeling disgusted with myself for trying to act like a sex worker. I am really struggling at the moment, I just feel like crying the whole time, I have know idea what to do, we have been married for 17 years and have three daughters.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Sorry you are here. 

While, you are far from being alone with this problem, that reality is of no comfort.

Talk to him, tell him how you feel.

He needs to fix this.



_Lilith-_


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## g62wolf (Oct 5, 2021)

maybe you can watch together. my late used to say, i have to feed my man at home , so he does not need to go to restaurant. none of us ever needed porn, but we would, once in blue moon, watch together, just for inspiration.


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## g62wolf (Oct 5, 2021)

when somebody posts message like this, people have tendency to blame one part only. in reality it is 2 way street, some soul searching is needed for both. did you ever red book 31 days to great sex?


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

[email protected] said:


> I feel absolutely heartbroken and I am unable to enjoy sex with him now because I am always wondering if he is comparing me to them


Yep. It would clearly be cheating if they were in the same room. They try to pretend it's not, just because there is a screen between them. It's still cheating by most standards and yes, he does compare you... an unfair thing to do, a wife's worst nightmare, especially when you didn't even know you were being compared much less to countless other women. He broke your vows. His choice to do so is not "forsaking all others," as the vows promise. It's a terrible betrayal, and you have to decide if you can put it behind you and move on, or not.


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## rugswept (May 8, 2019)

Most of us draw the line between porn and cheating as follows: if it involves interaction with others, it's cheating. As in full up cheating. Finding and sharing sexual gratification with anyone not your partner is off the table. 

The thing I didn't like in what you posted is that you were trying to role play, to look more like those wh****. Please don't do that any more. 

And, yes, you're wrecked and that will continue for a long time. There is nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with him. 

Make it clear to him that this junk is over or your M is on the table. Also make it clear if he doesn't change things that you're outing him to everyone close.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Yes this is cheating and I can completely understand why you are shattered. There is no way that you should have to put up with this and please don't think you have to act like these women do. Don't demean yourself in that way.

He doesn't seem very repentant either trying to justify it that he doesn't interact???? Wow.

Only you can decide your next step. Give it time. If he agrees to stop completely and gives you full access to all his electrical devices you may be able to make it work, but the trust would take a very long time to rebuild if ever.
It's your decision.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

g62wolf said:


> maybe you can watch together. my late used to say, i have to feed my man at home , so he does not need to go to restaurant. none of us ever needed porn, but we would, once in blue moon, watch together, just for inspiration.


Ok just disgusting. He is breaking the marriage vows by seeking live girls and she should join him.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I'd like to point out cam girls aren't free so he's also spending money. Probably quite a bit. That's a financial issues as well as his obvious cheating and more issues.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

I was amazed at how much guys pay to these cam girls in a month.

i guess i could never become adicted to it, because i am too much of a cheapskate!


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## Everythingchanges (12 mo ago)

Clearly a lot of women responding here.

Porn doesn’t mean as much to most guys as you think it does, and it certainly doesn’t mean he’s comparing them to you in any way. It’s just stimulation. Guys are hardwired to want to see girls naked. I mean, that’s kind of how we’ve been trained since women hold all the cards in that arena our whole lives. Women will not understand this, but it’s true. Anyway, without encouraging him, try being playful with it. Watch a little over his shoulder and reach down and give him a hand for a minute. Then get up and say if he wants the real thing, you’ll be in the bedroom.

I’m going to get blasted for this advice, but honestly, it doesn’t mean what you think it means, especially as it relates to you. Before there was the internet, we had Playboy. Same thing.

Good luck


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

I'm sorry you're here OP. Obviously H knows what he's doing is wrong and hurtful to you, or he would not have hid his behavior.

Has he apologized and decided to stop using cam girls? How much have you talked about the situation?

I would be hurt and furious in your place, as other mentioned, he's spending family funds on sex workers and expending his sexual energy on them, not you. 

What do you plan to do if he doesn't stop? He may very well choose not to stop.


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## [email protected] (12 mo ago)

TXTrini said:


> I'm sorry you're here OP. Obviously H knows what he's doing is wrong and hurtful to you, or he would not have hid his behavior.
> 
> Has he apologized and decided to stop using cam girls? How much have you talked about the situation?
> 
> ...


I’m not sure what to do at this point, I thought I would be okay with it, forgive and forget but I don’t know why it is affecting me so much this time. 


Everythingchanges said:


> Clearly a lot of women responding here.
> 
> Porn doesn’t mean as much to most guys as you think it does, and it certainly doesn’t mean he’s comparing them to you in any way. It’s just stimulation. Guys are hardwired to want to see girls naked. I mean, that’s kind of how we’ve been trained since women hold all the cards in that arena our whole lives. Women will not understand this, but it’s true. Anyway, without encouraging him, try being playful with it. Watch a little over his shoulder and reach down and give him a hand for a minute. Then get up and say if he wants the real thing, you’ll be in the bedroom.
> 
> ...


I have watched porn with him before, but he kept trying to convince me to have a threesome, because he really wants to see me with another woman, which he knows I am not interested in that, but he would always use that as the excuse when I found out he was messaging escorts, that he was looking for someone for me ( this was years ago, I thought he had got it out of his system, our relationship has been really strong for the past 3 years)


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## Everythingchanges (12 mo ago)

[email protected] said:


> I’m not sure what to do at this point, I thought I would be okay with it, forgive and forget but I don’t know why it is affecting me so much this time.
> 
> I have watched porn with him before, but he kept trying to convince me to have a threesome, because he really wants to see me with another woman, which he knows I am not interested in that, but he would always use that as the excuse when I found out he was messaging escorts, that he was looking for someone for me ( this was years ago, I thought he had got it out of his system, our relationship has been really strong for the past 3 years)


I thought you said he was looking for another GUY for the threesome. My bad. Well, maybe try out the girl thing and have fun with it. They’ll probably be amazing in bed, but say he can only watch. Definitely don’t let him have any part of the escort, or whoever he finds.

Slippery slope. See if you can figure out what comes after that, because there will be a “next level”. Steer it where you think you’ll be more comfortable. Sorry you are where you are, but his head’s into this pretty deep


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

[email protected] said:


> I’m not sure what to do at this point, I thought I would be okay with it, forgive and forget but I don’t know why it is affecting me so much this time.
> 
> I have watched porn with him before, but he kept trying to convince me to have a threesome, because he really wants to see me with another woman, which he knows I am not interested in that, but he would always use that as the excuse when I found out he was messaging escorts, that he was looking for someone for me ( this was years ago, I thought he had got it out of his system, our relationship has been really strong for the past 3 years)


Uh oh, so this isn't his first rodeo and there's other crap.

It's definitely time for you to reassess why you want this man and if you can meet his never-ending needs at your expense.

What was he doing for the past 3 years to "get it out of his system"? Or was he just a really good liar?


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Everythingchanges said:


> I thought you said he was looking for another GUY for the threesome. My bad. Well, maybe try out the girl thing and have fun with it. They’ll probably be amazing in bed, but say he can only watch. Definitely don’t let him have any part of the escort, or whoever he finds.
> 
> Slippery slope. See if you can figure out what comes after that, because there will be a “next level”. Steer it where you think you’ll be more comfortable. Sorry you are where you are, but his head’s into this pretty deep


Dude, are you even married? You joined like a minute ago and are doling out advice you have no idea is appropriate or not for OP. Unless she is happy sharing her marriage with other folks (obviously she is not), you're way out of line.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

@TXTrini 

🤮?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Everythingchanges said:


> Porn doesn’t mean as much to most guys as you think it does,


Riiiiiight. That's why so many of them are willing to ruin their marriage for it!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

[email protected] said:


> I’m not sure what to do at this point, I thought I would be okay with it, forgive and forget but I don’t know why it is affecting me so much this time.
> 
> I have watched porn with him before, but he kept trying to convince me to have a threesome, because he really wants to see me with another woman, which he knows I am not interested in that, but he would always use that as the excuse when I found out he was messaging escorts, that he was looking for someone for me ( this was years ago, I thought he had got it out of his system, our relationship has been really strong for the past 3 years)


He's spending your family money on all these pursuits and doesn't care if you like it or not. The only way you can make this stop is the file divorce so that he can waste his half of the assets and not be able to touch yours. And during that time if he's doing this, you can get refunded half of everything he spends on it once they do Discovery and get his financial records on it. You don't need this in your household. He has no respect for you whatsoever. This is just one more way that porn will just totally destroy a marriage. Nothing is ever enough once they get started on it.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

[email protected] said:


> I recently discovered that my husband has been watching live cam girls, he says he just watches and doesn’t interact, that it is just like regular porn. I feel absolutely heartbroken and I am unable to enjoy sex with him now because I am always wondering if he is comparing me to them, I don’t even orgasm anymore. I even went as far as changing the way I dress to try be more sexy for him, but ended up feeling disgusted with myself for trying to act like a sex worker. I am really struggling at the moment, I just feel like crying the whole time, I have know idea what to do, we have been married for 17 years and have three daughters.


You should not trust him around your daughters or especially their friends since he's this obsessed with porn and sex.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

[email protected] said:


> I recently discovered that my husband has been watching live cam girls, he says he just watches and doesn’t interact, that it is just like regular porn. I feel absolutely heartbroken and I am unable to enjoy sex with him now because I am always wondering if he is comparing me to them, I don’t even orgasm anymore. I even went as far as changing the way I dress to try be more sexy for him, but ended up feeling disgusted with myself for trying to act like a sex worker. I am really struggling at the moment, I just feel like crying the whole time, I have know idea what to do, we have been married for 17 years and have three daughters.


Don't take it as saying anything about you, it doesn't. Trying to keep things exciting and interested from a sexual point of view is always a good goal, that goes both ways. How often does he do this. If it's an every so often thing that's not a big deal, if the fact he's watching live cams makes you uncomfortable that is a boundary you should set, I don't think that's unreasonable. 

You should check and see if he's spending money on these live cams. Have you talk to him and told him how much this has affected you and that you no longer enjoy sex with him? I would think that would be a good wake up call for him.


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## SusanJoAnn (12 mo ago)

g62wolf said:


> when somebody posts message like this, people have tendency to blame one part only. in reality it is 2 way street, some soul searching is needed for both. did you ever red book 31 days to great sex?


You've got to come to grip with the reality that it fills a need, a sexuality that she's not wiling to meet. Probably never will . If there are no children involved, then it will never get better and some type of talk or counseling is needed to see if both need to move on. If there are children involved then it'sgoing to be hell to resolve.. His sexual needs have been elevated and if the responses she's given are any indication she will never change from her missonary sexual level and needs to find someone who sex means nothing, like her,


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## Everythingchanges (12 mo ago)

TXTrini said:


> Dude, are you even married? You joined like a minute ago and are doling out advice you have no idea is appropriate or not for OP. Unless she is happy sharing her marriage with other folks (obviously she is not), you're way out of line.


Been married 21 years actually. And I can give a different (male) perspective if I feel like it. Better than the echo chamber I’ve seen so far. Stay in your lane.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Everythingchanges said:


> Been married 21 years actually. And I can give a different (male) perspective if I feel like it. Better than the echo chamber I’ve seen so far. Stay in your lane.


This IS her lane.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Everythingchanges said:


> Been married 21 years actually. And I can give a different (male) perspective if I feel like it. Better than the echo chamber I’ve seen so far. Stay in your lane.


Your perspective is quite irrelevant since OP does not share your values. 

Btw, give your wife a medal, she's a saint.


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## Everythingchanges (12 mo ago)

TXTrini said:


> Your perspective is quite irrelevant since OP does not share your values.
> 
> Btw, give your wife a medal, she's a saint.


🤡 Why have a discussion thread if only predetermined viewpoints are allowed, lol. Or maybe this is just a pity party thread.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

SusanJoAnn said:


> You've got to come to grip with the reality that it fills a need, a sexuality that she's not wiling to meet. Probably never will . If there are no children involved, then it will never get better and some type of talk or counseling is needed to see if both need to move on. If there are children involved then it'sgoing to be hell to resolve.. His sexual needs have been elevated and if the responses she's given are any indication *she will never change from her missonary sexual level and needs to find someone who sex means nothing, like her,*


WHERE did you get this from?? She said she's tried being sexier with him and watching porn with him...THAT is "missionary" and "sex meaning nothing"...?? Are you saying she should be having threesomes to please him??


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Everythingchanges said:


> 🤡 Why have a discussion thread if only predetermined viewpoints are allowed, lol. Or maybe this is just a pity party thread.


If you are going to mock people, you aren't going to get any responses that are open and welcoming.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Everythingchanges said:


> Clearly a lot of women responding here.
> 
> Porn doesn’t mean as much to most guys as you think it does, and it certainly doesn’t mean he’s comparing them to you in any way. It’s just stimulation. Guys are hardwired to want to see girls naked. I mean, that’s kind of how we’ve been trained since women hold all the cards in that arena our whole lives. Women will not understand this, but it’s true. Anyway, without encouraging him, try being playful with it. Watch a little over his shoulder and reach down and give him a hand for a minute. Then get up and say if he wants the real thing, you’ll be in the bedroom.
> 
> ...


If it doesn't mean much to them then it will easy for them to stop won't it. Why would you do something that is so hurtful and disrespectful to your spouse?


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## Everythingchanges (12 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> If you are going to mock people, you aren't going to get any responses that are open and welcoming.


You must not be following along. I was just insulted for my viewpoint. Is that what this site is about?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Everythingchanges said:


> I thought you said he was looking for another GUY for the threesome. My bad. Well, maybe try out the girl thing and have fun with it. They’ll probably be amazing in bed, but say he can only watch. Definitely don’t let him have any part of the escort, or whoever he finds.
> 
> Slippery slope. See if you can figure out what comes after that, because there will be a “next level”. Steer it where you think you’ll be more comfortable. Sorry you are where you are, but his head’s into this pretty deep


She said she doesn't want to bring another person into their bed and why should she? Btw it's irrelevant of it's a man or a woman.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> @TXTrini
> 
> 🤮?


We have needed that quite a lot over the last few days here. 🤔


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Everythingchanges said:


> You must not be following along. I was just insulted for my viewpoint. Is that what this site is about?


You are being mean in every post, that's what I'm following. Even in this one to me...which doesn't bother me, but it tells me about you.

And then my posts to you are going to be on-guard and suspicious, instead of open and interested in understanding your point of view.

If you keep posting in a mean, mocking way, those are the kind of responses you will get.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

SusanJoAnn said:


> You've got to come to grip with the reality that it fills a need, a sexuality that she's not wiling to meet. Probably never will . If there are no children involved, then it will never get better and some type of talk or counseling is needed to see if both need to move on. If there are children involved then it'sgoing to be hell to resolve.. His sexual needs have been elevated and if the responses she's given are any indication she will never change from her missonary sexual level and needs to find someone who sex means nothing, like her,


Let's remember she was good enough for him when he married her until he started getting obsessed with porn and spending money on sex workers. No


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Everythingchanges said:


> 🤡 Why have a discussion thread if only predetermined viewpoints are allowed, lol. Or maybe this is just a pity party thread.





Everythingchanges said:


> You must not be following along. I was just insulted for my viewpoint. Is that what this site is about?


I did not insult you for your viewpoint. I pointed out how irrelevant your viewpoint is considering the facts presented and made an observation about your wife due to your apparent reading comprehension and lack of empathy or logic.

Anyway, I am here to support OP, not argue with posters trying to up their post count at the expense of real people's very real suffering.


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## Johnny34 (12 mo ago)

[email protected] said:


> I recently discovered that my husband has been watching live cam girls, he says he just watches and doesn’t interact, that it is just like regular porn. I feel absolutely heartbroken and I am unable to enjoy sex with him now because I am always wondering if he is comparing me to them, I don’t even orgasm anymore. I even went as far as changing the way I dress to try be more sexy for him, but ended up feeling disgusted with myself for trying to act like a sex worker. I am really struggling at the moment, I just feel like crying the whole time, I have know idea what to do, we have been married for 17 years and have three daughters.


Sorry to hear about your frustrations. But this is no big deal. Some men need outlet to see and connect with other women at some level. What he's doing is much better than having an affair. 

However, if you are hurt please do talk to him, and see if the two of you can come up with an understanding or solution. Good luck.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Hubby is a sick douche-bag that may be too far gone to be helped. Of course, many men are in the same boat. I think you could get an annulment if you wanted- he clearly doesn’t believe he is married to you.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Wow, seems we have had a bunch of degenerate mansplainers join just to stick it to the OP.


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## Everythingchanges (12 mo ago)

TXTrini said:


> I did not insult you for your viewpoint. I pointed out how irrelevant your viewpoint is considering the facts presented and made an observation about your wife due to your apparent reading comprehension and lack of empathy or logic.
> 
> Anyway, I am here to support OP, not argue with posters trying to up their post count at the expense of real people's very real suffering.


She wasn’t looking for “support”, she was trying to understand the situation, and what her husband might be thinking, what’s driving his behavior, and what to do about it. I simply answered from one perspective that didn’t match yours and within one minute you laughed at my comment, and followed with a personal insult. Spin it how you want. If women are only looking for advice or feedback from other women, good luck resolving your issues in some way other than divorce.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Johnny34 said:


> Sorry to hear about your frustrations. But this is no big deal. Some men need outlet to see and connect with other women at some level. What he's doing is much better than having an affair.
> 
> However, if you are hurt please do talk to him, and see if the two of you can come up with an understanding or solution. Good luck.


The problem is that what he is doing often LEADS TO AFFAIRS.

If a person needs an outlet to "connect with other women" (or men), then they need to stay single, or make it clear in the early stages of dating that this is part of their sexuality and sexual enjoyment. Some people might not mind, but if they do, at least they will have a choice about what type of sexual partner they commit to.


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## Everythingchanges (12 mo ago)

g62wolf said:


> when somebody posts message like this, people have tendency to blame one part only. in reality it is 2 way street, some soul searching is needed for both. did you ever red book 31 days to great sex?


Didn’t you get the memo? This thread (site?) is for female commiseration and husband-bashing only. 😠


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Everythingchanges said:


> Didn’t you get the memo? This thread (site?) is for female commiseration and husband-bashing only. 😠


We commiserate when a husband OR a wife when their spouse is acting like a jerk.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Men will justify their porn to their dying breath. If a man has any since of sorrow or shame- that’s a ray of hope.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TXTrini said:


> Wow, seems we have had a bunch of degenerate mansplainers join just to stick it to the OP.


Maybe it's all the same person. Clearly one who does what the ops husband does.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Let’s drop all the psychology BS. What we have here is a hubby sneaking off to masturbate. “He wanted to” is really NOT a credible argument (unless he’s thirteen).


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

CatholicDad said:


> Men will justify their porn to their dying breath. If a man has any since of sorrow or shame- that’s a ray of hope.


Yes agreed, because apparently some men NEED to watch cam girls. 🤦‍♀️


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

TXTrini said:


> Wow, seems we have had a bunch of degenerate mansplainers join just to stick it to the OP.


A bunch? Or one?


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

As usual, I will share some thoughts.

A female friend of mine used to (I don't know if she still does since we don't communicate anymore) be a cam girl. She had me work as a moderator on her page for a bit so I kinda learned the ins and outs.

Depending on his level of interaction, the husband here might really only be using cam girls as his masturbation aid, very much like anyone would if they were to watch prerecorded porn. The way these things generally work is, you go to a cam site and there will be a bunch of open cams to pick from. You pick your girl and watch her show. While they do get paid, each person watching does not have to pay. So, your husband can be just logging in, watching a show, doing his thing, and then leaving the site without any interactions with any women on there. If that is the case, would it bother you? Would the idea that your husband watches porn and masturbates bother you? They would be very similar if this is the case.

One thing I think you should know is that the option to interact with the models, send them money, and become a regular paid consumer of their content can often exist. The cam rooms have chat windows where the men watching often simp for the ladies and make requests. The guy CAN pay but again he doesn't have to. They often also have exclusive packages set up where you can pay so much money per month and become one of her Snapchat friend or whatever and get personalized pics and messages from the girls each day.

If it were me, I would be bothered about it all regardless of the level of interaction with the....models. I have an old friend that was really addicted to these cam girls and he spent a decent amount of his money on them. I think it's desperate, sad, and unbefitting the conduct of a married person.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Johnny34 said:


> Sorry to hear about your frustrations. But this is no big deal. Some men need outlet to see and connect with other women at some level. What he's doing is much better than having an affair.
> 
> However, if you are hurt please do talk to him, and see if the two of you can come up with an understanding or solution. Good luck.


Yeah, because connecting with prostitutes is so much more wholesome than connecting with other women. 🤣


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

CatholicDad said:


> Men will justify their porn to their dying breath. If a man has any since of sorrow or shame- that’s a ray of hope.


Like any other addict.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

CatholicDad said:


> Let’s drop all the psychology BS. What we have here is a hubby sneaking off to masturbate. “He wanted to” is really NOT a credible argument (unless he’s thirteen).


If he's spending money on porn cams, that is spending money on the sex workers so it certainly isn't much of a leap to assume he is also spending money on them off the internet. I mean he's already spending money and he doesn't have a problem with any of it, so what's to stop him. Not marriage apparently.


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## 6daily (12 mo ago)

Has the wife ever thought about whether she is sufficiently sexually experienced and takes care of her husband properly and enough that he is sexually busy and has no interest in cam girls and masturbation?

I wouldn't even think of it, not even when my wife has her period because I know that she likes handjobs during her period and loves the fresh smell of cum when it's warm between her fingers. 

It is very rare that we do not have sex for more than 2 days in a row when she works, my wife does not accept too little sex, this quickly smells like trouble, especially when she has her days off from work and is at home, then at least 2x a day


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Anastasia6 said:


> A bunch? Or one?


Who knows?


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

6daily said:


> Has the wife ever thought about whether she is sufficiently sexually experienced and takes care of her husband properly and enough that he is sexually busy and has no interest in cam girls and masturbation?
> 
> I wouldn't even think of it, not even when my wife has her period because I know that she likes handjobs during her period and loves the fresh smell of cum when it's warm between her fingers.
> 
> It is very rare that we do not have sex for more than 2 days in a row when she works, my wife does not accept too little sex, this quickly smells like trouble, especially when she has her days off from work and is at home, then at least 2x a day


Oh look another new poster. Welcome I think your post violates some of the forum rules. Perhaps read up on posting ok.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

6daily said:


> Has the wife ever thought about whether she is sufficiently sexually experienced and takes care of her husband properly and enough that he is sexually busy and has no interest in cam girls and masturbation?
> 
> I wouldn't even think of it, not even when my wife has her period because I know that she likes handjobs during her period and loves the fresh smell of cum when it's warm between her fingers.
> 
> It is very rare that we do not have sex for more than 2 days in a row when she works, my wife does not accept too little sex, this quickly smells like trouble, especially when she has her days off from work and is at home, then at least 2x a day


So if she is inexperienced he should go masturbate to cam girls instead of working with his wife to mutually improve their sex life? You are saying it is her fault that he had to resort to cam girls. If only she were better in bed he wouldn't have to go jack off all alone


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

Op, I'm not against porn use as long as it is only used when the wife doesn't want sex. Wife should have first dibs. Paying for it or preferring it to the wife is a serious problem. Interacting with cam girls? Pretty much just like ordering up a prostitute. 

Considering what you've been doing to get his attention, he shouldn't need porn and should be with you let alone taking it to the next level that he's been doing.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Everythingchanges said:


> *Clearly a lot of women responding here.*
> 
> Porn doesn’t mean as much to most guys as you think it does, and it certainly doesn’t mean he’s comparing them to you in any way. It’s just stimulation. Guys are hardwired to want to see girls naked. I mean, that’s kind of how we’ve been trained since women hold all the cards in that arena our whole lives. Women will not understand this, but it’s true. Anyway, without encouraging him, try being playful with it. Watch a little over his shoulder and reach down and give him a hand for a minute. Then get up and say if he wants the real thing, you’ll be in the bedroom.
> 
> ...


You should know that many of the women posting are doing so because of our experiences with our partners and porn.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

"The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) defines addiction as a *chronic disease that affects the brain's reward, motivation, and memory functions*. Someone with an addiction will crave a substance or other behavioral habits. They'll often ignore other areas of life to fulfill or support their desires."


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

Everythingchanges said:


> Clearly a lot of women responding here.
> 
> Porn doesn’t mean as much to most guys as you think it does, and it certainly doesn’t mean he’s comparing them to you in any way. It’s just stimulation. Guys are hardwired to want to see girls naked. I mean, that’s kind of how we’ve been trained since women hold all the cards in that arena our whole lives. Women will not understand this, but it’s true. Anyway, without encouraging him, try being playful with it. Watch a little over his shoulder and reach down and give him a hand for a minute. Then get up and say if he wants the real thing, you’ll be in the bedroom.
> 
> ...


So considering it means absolutely nothing to men and women ‘ just don’t understand’ then men should have zero problem with their wives sharing their naked bodies online with other men ! Seeing as it means nothing and all
Women need to feel desired , men just don’t understand !

for a man to claim it means nothing And then to say hang on you can’t actually take your clothes off for another man to do exactly what I am doing is absolute hypocrisy


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Picklemickle said:


> So considering it means absolutely nothing to men and women ‘ just don’t understand’ then men should have zero problem with their wives sharing their naked bodies online with other men ! Seeing as it means nothing and all
> Women need to feel desired , men just don’t understand !
> 
> for a man to claim it means nothing And then to say hang on you can’t actually take your clothes off for another man to do exactly what I am doing is absolute hypocrisy


This is a GREAT point...I wonder if these guys who want to masturbate to porn wouldn't mind their partners masturbating to an audience of men while they are busy with their porn?? 

I suppose "that's different"...


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

Men like hubby here are insane. Do they realize that if wifey wanted to play tit for tat she could go out almost anywhere and bring home a man to have sex with… probably one younger and better looking than hubby. I’m sorry porn dudes- it’s a fact. Somehow the porn lie leads to completely delusional behavior and beliefs by the users. Good grief.


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> This is a GREAT point...I wonder if these guys who want to masturbate to porn wouldn't mind their partners masturbating to an audience of men while they are busy with their porn??
> 
> I suppose "that's different"...


Oh yeah just waiting for the ‘ oh but it’s different ‘
The truth is they Are complete hypocrits ‘ when it’s me and a cam girl it’s just porn , we are not touching it means nothing ‘ but when my wife is the cam girl or model and another man is jerking off like I do well that’s just not ok , they lose their minds’


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

CatholicDad said:


> Men like hubby here are insane. Do they realize that if wifey wanted to play tit for tat she could go out almost anywhere and bring home a man to have sex with… probably one younger and better looking than hubby. I’m sorry porn dudes- it’s a fact. Somehow the porn lie leads to completely delusional behavior and beliefs by the users. Good grief.


This x 100


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## damo7 (Jul 16, 2020)

My partner has no problem me watching porn. Sometimes the sites take me to a live cam girl, it just pops up like an ad. I never interact and they can't see me or even know I'm there, I guess if they look they can see they have 1 more viewer out of the hundreds/thousands they already had. If he doesn't interact how is it a problem?


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## damo7 (Jul 16, 2020)

Picklemickle said:


> Oh yeah just waiting for the ‘ oh but it’s different ‘
> The truth is they Are complete hypocrits ‘ when it’s me and a cam girl it’s just porn , we are not touching it means nothing ‘ but when my wife is the cam girl or model and another man is jerking off like I do well that’s just not ok , they lose their minds’


Watching porn and being in porn are 2 very, very different things and if you can't see that then I'm not even going to bother trying to argue because it's an incredibly ridiculous comparison. It's like saying watching murder is the same as committing murder lol


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

damo7 said:


> My partner has no problem me watching porn. Sometimes the sites take me to a live cam girl, it just pops up like an ad. I never interact and they can't see me or even know I'm there, I guess if they look they can see they have 1 more viewer out of the hundreds/thousands they already had. If he doesn't interact how is it a problem?


Many women realise that porn is very damaging to the marriage and cam girls takes it a step further.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

damo7 said:


> My partner has no problem me watching porn. Sometimes the sites take me to a live cam girl, it just pops up like an ad. I never interact and they can't see me or even know I'm there, I guess if they look they can see they have 1 more viewer out of the hundreds/thousands they already had. If he doesn't interact how is it a problem?


It's a problem because she wants him to have sex with her and not expend his energy on pixels and other women. She's not the only "p0rn widows" on here. 

Btw, is your wife ok with your habits because she doesn't want to deal with you?


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

damo7 said:


> My partner has no problem me watching porn. Sometimes the sites take me to a live cam girl, it just pops up like an ad. I never interact and they can't see me or even know I'm there, I guess if they look they can see they have 1 more viewer out of the hundreds/thousands they already had. If he doesn't interact how is it a problem?


Would you ” mind if your partner wanted to do nude cam with other men ? Or is that ‘different’


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

damo7 said:


> Watching porn and being in porn are 2 very, very different things and if you can't see that then I'm not even going to bother trying to argue because it's an incredibly ridiculous comparison. It's like saying watching murder is the same as committing murder lol


And there it is ! The exact hypocrisy !
No , it either means nothing and is fine or it’s not
Men don’t get to make the rules 


on top of this your analogy reeks of mysogyny , so the women doing the cam are the ones ‘ committing murder ‘ and you are just watching it ‘ lol
No your as much involved in it and an active participant . I’m pretty sure we all know what porn is ‘used’ for .


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

damo7 said:


> Watching porn and being in porn are 2 very, very different things and if you can't see that then I'm not even going to bother trying to argue because it's an incredibly ridiculous comparison. It's like saying watching murder is the same as
> 
> 
> > And there it is ! The exact hypocrisy !
> ...


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

so I take it Damo your answer is no , it’s fine for you to jerk off over other women but not for other men to jerk of over your wife . If so your double standards are outrageous and that’s all I’ll say 
Catholicdad made a great point about this


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## [email protected] (12 mo ago)

To me there is a huge difference between porn and cam girls, porn is pre-recorded and zero chance of ever interacting with the actors, where live girls are right there and if he wanted to chat with them he could, he could just as well go out and pay a prostitute to do the same thing.


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## 6daily (12 mo ago)

The wife has to ask herself why the man is doing this if the husband wasn't missing something in the relationship, a man wouldn't watch cam girls or go to prostitutes. 

In some cultures, especially when religion is involved, the wife simply does not understand what is important in the relationship, especially in sex, so that the husband is permanently happy and faithful. 

The husband should not always be blamed.

Why am I not doing this ?

because I have no reason and my wife knows how to make the husband happy that you have no interest in other women.

My wife said at the very beginning of our relationship that an intelligent, good wife takes care of her husband, otherwise it's no wonder if there is suddenly less money in the household budget and the husband spends it on other women.

She doesn't feel like this experience and if she sometimes spends more of her self-earned money on sexy fashion and shopping, I have to accept that, a man runs away, cheats when the woman gets bored.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

6daily said:


> The wife has to ask herself why the man is doing this if the husband wasn't missing something in the relationship, a man wouldn't watch cam girls or go to prostitutes.
> 
> In some cultures, especially when religion is involved, the wife simply does not understand what is important in the relationship, especially in sex, so that the husband is permanently happy and faithful.
> 
> ...


Some men act badly regardless. Please stop blaming the cheated on person, it's disgusting.


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## [email protected] (12 mo ago)

I am going to talk to him tonight, I am just scared that it will make things worse when I tell him I am having trouble reaching orgasm because of this, when that is the one thing he really really enjoys. I suppose only 2 things can happen, he apologises and helps fix things together or he goes back to watching cam girls, because they can give him what I can’t right now.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

[email protected] said:


> I am going to talk to him tonight, I am just scared that it will make things worse when I tell him I am having trouble reaching orgasm because of this, when that is the one thing he really really enjoys. I suppose only 2 things can happen, he apologises and helps fix things together or he goes back to watching cam girls, because they can give him what I can’t right now.


It's nothing to do with them giving him what you can't, it's him choosing to put cam girls and porn ahead of the wife he he claims to love.
He is the one acting badly not you. He is the choosing to cheat not you.


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## 6daily (12 mo ago)

@ Diana, 

of course there are also men who are not worth it, no question I agree with you.

what's worse than a bad relationship ? 

staying in a bad relationship one day longer


@ [email protected]

if I as a man would do what you describe about your husband....spend money on cam girls instead of respecting my wife and giving her love and sex every day, she would destroy everything with great anger, computer, mobile, TV., now I'm done with you go.... 

I have a lot of liberties but there is a red line. 

As I said, some men are not worth it, they are complete idiots, then you have to end the relationship.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

[email protected] said:


> I am going to talk to him tonight, I am just scared that it will make things worse when I tell him I am having trouble reaching orgasm because of this, when that is the one thing he really really enjoys. I suppose only 2 things can happen, he apologises and helps fix things together or he goes back to watching cam girls, because they can give him what I can’t right now.


This is the best idea, to talk to him. I agree it is very scary when it's something you are uncomfortable talking about and afraid of the outcome. I HATED having those conversations with my EX.

If it's something that is "no big deal" to him, as some of the other posters have suggested (and they might be right), then he shouldn't have trouble giving it up. So his response will be very telling.

GOOD LUCK!!!


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

damo7 said:


> Watching porn and being in porn are 2 very, very different things and if you can't see that then I'm not even going to bother trying to argue because it's an incredibly ridiculous comparison. It's like saying watching murder is the same as committing murder lol


Not quite...it's actually like saying that wanting to commit murder is the same as committing murder.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

[email protected] said:


> I am going to talk to him tonight, I am just scared that it will make things worse when I tell him I am having trouble reaching orgasm because of this, when that is the one thing he really really enjoys. I suppose only 2 things can happen, he apologises and helps fix things together or he goes back to watching cam girls, because they can give him what I can’t right now.


Hi Linky, I didn't realize you two had never discussed this, I hope he empathizes with how you feel and you two can come to an agreement of sorts.

Regardless of his reaction, the best course of action is to talk it out otherwise you will resent him more over time and it'll implode.

Good luck tonight!


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

6daily said:


> The wife has to ask herself why the man is doing this if the husband wasn't missing something in the relationship, a man wouldn't watch cam girls or go to prostitutes.
> 
> In some cultures, especially when religion is involved, the wife simply does not understand what is important in the relationship, especially in sex, so that the husband is permanently happy and faithful.
> 
> ...


What an apologist argument for mens bad behaviour 
No! Women do not need to ‘ ask themselves ‘ or be held responsible for mens behaviour . Men like this need to start acting with some integrity and ask themselves why they act without respect towards their wives 
By the same logic men should be asking themselves why their wives had an affair . It’s his issue huh , he didn’t take care oic her emotional needs 
A good man ( or woman for that matter ) has morals and doesn’t seek to blame others for his weakness or bad choices .
I honestly think I would have read something that like 150 years ago to excuse men using prostitutes . 
People are responsible for their own behaviour !


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

6daily said:


> @ Diana,
> 
> of course there are also men who are not worth it, no question I agree with you.
> 
> ...


So the woman should leave the relationship because the man’s no good , I agree 
But I find it interesting you came on and said the woman should look to what she is doing to cause it instead of saying men who are unhappy should leave the relationship instead of using cams or cheating 
Why is the onus in the woman ?


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Picklemickle said:


> So the woman should leave the relationship because the man’s no good , I agree
> But I find it interesting you came on and said the woman should look to what she is doing to cause it instead of saying men who are unhappy should leave the relationship instead of using cams or cheating
> Why is the onus in the woman ?


Hi viewpoint might be cultural. I don't recognize his country's flag. You'd be surprised by the modern-day attitudes of men in non-western countries.


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

TXTrini said:


> Hi viewpoint might be cultural. I don't recognize his country's flag. You'd be surprised by the modern-day attitudes of men in non-western countries.


Yes I agree that’s possible and it’s worrying that women anywherE in the world are expected to be held responsible for the bad behaviour of some men


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Picklemickle said:


> Yes I agree that’s possible and it’s worrying that women anywherE in the world are expected to be held responsible for the bad behaviour of some men


Sadly it's pretty common in places like India, Pakistan and the middle East.


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## damo7 (Jul 16, 2020)

Picklemickle said:


> so I take it Damo your answer is no , it’s fine for you to jerk off over other women but not for other men to jerk of over your wife . If so your double standards are outrageous and that’s all I’ll say
> Catholicdad made a great point about this


Me jerking off over other women involves no interaction. I wouldn't mind if my wife jerked off to pics or movies of other men she'd never met, no. But she would mind if I starred in porn or got naked for women to see me because that is very DIFFERENT and I know for a fact that most sane people agree with me.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

damo7 said:


> Me jerking off over other women involves no interaction. I wouldn't mind if my wife jerked off to pics or movies of other men she'd never met, no. But she would mind if I starred in porn or got naked for women to see me because that is very DIFFERENT and I know for a fact that most sane people agree with me.


So you have asked everyone have you? All these 'sane' people?


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

damo7 said:


> Me jerking off over other women involves no interaction. I wouldn't mind if my wife jerked off to pics or movies of other men she'd never met, no. But she would mind if I starred in porn or got naked for women to see me because that is very DIFFERENT and I know for a fact that most sane people agree with me.


And a woman ( whether she happens to be married to a man who uses porn or single ) posting naked pictures of herself for another man to jerk off over requires no interaction either 
There’s no difference except the false one you create in your mind to justify what you are doing 
Whilst you may believe most people agree I can tell you right now I know for a fact many wives are doing exactly what I said because their husbands hold attitudes like yours


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> So you have asked everyone have you? All these 'sane' people?


Yes , apparently it’s crazy to see the exact correlation and sameness between what he is doing over another woman ( who may or may not be another man’s wife) as being the same as another man doing this over his wife 😳 the cognitive dissonance is astounding


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> Oh look another new poster. Welcome I think your post violates some of the forum rules. Perhaps read up on posting ok.


Although I don't like what he said and don't agree with the whole, "well did the wife think about meeting his needs" junk. But what was it he said that violates the rules?


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

drencrom said:


> Although I don't like what he said and don't agree with the whole, "well did the wife think about meeting his needs" junk. But what was it he said that violates the rules?


The forum has rules against purposeful tantalizing sexual posts. If you read the post you can figure out the part that was more than what was needed for the discussion.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> The forum has rules against purposeful tantalizing sexual posts. If you read the post you can figure out the part that was more than what was needed for the discussion.


Ah, you mean his explicit description of what his wife likes and doesn't. Ya, I can see that.


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## drencrom (Jul 1, 2021)

6daily said:


> She doesn't feel like this experience and if she sometimes spends more of her self-earned money on sexy fashion and shopping, I have to accept that, a man runs away, cheats when the woman gets bored.


There is NO EXCUSE to cheat, none. Don't like the relationship? Get out.

If I was in a relationship and was neglected or disrespected, I'd get out. But before I do that, instead of cheat it would be me texting a bud: "Call of Duty time?"


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

@ Linky

It's been a few days, hope you're doing ok.
How did your conversation go?


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## Everythingchanges (12 mo ago)

Picklemickle said:


> So considering it means absolutely nothing to men and women ‘ just don’t understand’ then men should have zero problem with their wives sharing their naked bodies online with other men ! Seeing as it means nothing and all
> Women need to feel desired , men just don’t understand !
> 
> for a man to claim it means nothing And then to say hang on you can’t actually take your clothes off for another man to do exactly what I am doing is absolute hypocrisy


Um, the equivalent would be the wife watching naked guys online, not being naked for guys online. Lame point.


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## Everythingchanges (12 mo ago)

TXTrini said:


> It's a problem because she wants him to have sex with her and not expend his energy on pixels and other women. She's not the only "p0rn widows" on here.
> 
> Btw, is your wife ok with your habits because she doesn't want to deal with you?


Um, false on the men wanting to have sex with the women online. That’s not what it’s about, at least not with every man. It’s impossible to explain to a female and a prude I suppose, and don’t get me started on catholicdad, gere to beat everyone down with his supreme morality The poster is looking for various perspectives and we provide them for consideration. You don’t need to judge them all and weigh in for yourself on whether they’re valid. They are. They’re different viewpoints. I offered my viewpoint for her consideration, not for the fake morality police.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Everythingchanges said:


> Um, the equivalent would be the wife watching naked guys online, not being naked for guys online. Lame point.


I don't know though...women aren't as turned on by random naked men in porn as guys are by women. I don't think you can compare those two either. It would have to be an equal "effect" comparison, and I'm not sure what that would be.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Everythingchanges said:


> Um, false on the men wanting to have sex with the women online. That’s not what it’s about, at least not with every man. It’s impossible to explain to a female and a prude I suppose, and don’t get me started on catholicdad, gere to beat everyone down with his supreme morality The poster is looking for various perspectives and we provide them for consideration. You don’t need to judge them all and weigh in for yourself on whether they’re valid. They are. They’re different viewpoints. I offered my viewpoint for her consideration, not for the fake morality police.


So people who don't watch porn are prudes? If so why?
If


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> So people who don't watch porn are prudes? If so why?
> If


You're arguing with the wind passing through buttocks of some kind...


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

Everythingchanges said:


> Um, the equivalent would be the wife watching naked guys online, not being naked for guys online. Lame point.


No just As men are turned on by looking at naked women many womens thing in is being desired so for the woman it’s often about receiving the sexual attention. Many women get nothing out of looking t naked men online so how is that an equivalent when it may not be exciting for her . 
If a man is alllowed to give his attention. To other women Online a woman is allowed to receive attention from other men … after all men and women are different
If a man claims porn is harmless cause there’s no touching or interaction he’s a hypotlcrit to then say the partners can’t perform in it


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

LisaDiane said:


> I don't know though...women aren't as turned on by random naked men in porn as guys are by women. I don't think you can compare those two either. It would have to be an equal "effect" comparison, and I'm not sure what that would be.


i think women are not as turned on by viewing IMAGES of naked men online, either still or video.

But i think they are much more turned on by camming with a naked man who is urging and guiding her to masturbate. It brings the titilation she needs to get horny, the danger of something taboo, and the attention of a hot man paying attention to her specifically. Hence why so many women will form an EA and cam/videochat with random men.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Talker67 said:


> i think women are not as turned on by viewing IMAGES of naked men online, either still or video.
> 
> But i think they are much more turned on by camming with a naked man who is urging and guiding her to masturbate. It brings the titilation she needs to get horny, the danger of something taboo, and the attention of a hot man paying attention to her specifically. Hence why so many women with form an EA and cam/videochat with random men.


I think you might be exactly right!! This makes alot of sense!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

LisaDiane said:


> I think you might be exactly right!! This makes alot of sense!


the reasons men and women watch or use porn are very different, but they are used well by both!


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## Picklemickle (12 mo ago)

Talker67 said:


> i think women are not as turned on by viewing IMAGES of naked men online, either still or video.
> 
> But i think they are much more turned on by camming with a naked man who is urging and guiding her to masturbate. It brings the titilation she needs to get horny, the danger of something taboo, and the attention of a hot man paying attention to her specifically. Hence why so many women with form an EA and cam/videochat with random men.


That’s a good point and probably a very good comparison . I’m pretty sure a lot of men wouldn’t be happy with their wives doing that though


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Picklemickle said:


> That’s a good point and probably a very good comparison . I’m pretty sure a lot of men wouldn’t be happy with their wives doing that though


as opposed to the wife going out and cruising bars for a ONS? its acceptable. Say you are working in California for six months, and the wife is back in PA....horny and sex starved?

As opposed to working your marriage out, and any sexual issues out? Nope, it is a lame and distant choice vs. the real thing.

I wonder how many men and women did NOT phsyically cheat on their spouses because they did find random sex partners online for "virtual sex".

And i bet, with all the new Occulus Rift 3D technology, and a booming Metaverse coming, there will be a whole lot MORE virtual sex activity in the near future. I know there are ethical and moral issues....but that technology is marching forward. And it is certain it will be used by some for wild sex.

Imagine being able to put on a body suit with pressure motors, and 3D goggles, and walk into a wild sex orgy in the metaverse....walk around and meet real people who are portrayed as their incredibly sexy drawn avatars.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Talker67 said:


> as opposed to the wife going out and cruising bars for a ONS? its acceptable.
> 
> As opposed to working your marriage out, and any sexual issues out? Nope, it is a lame and distant choice vs. the real thing.
> 
> ...


Hopefully when that technology arrives, it will stop some useless wankers from marrying and reproducing.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Talker67 said:


> as opposed to the wife going out and cruising bars for a ONS? its acceptable. Say you are working in California for six months, and the wife is back in PA....horny and sex starved?
> 
> As opposed to working your marriage out, and any sexual issues out? Nope, it is a lame and distant choice vs. the real thing.
> 
> ...


Have you ever seen the movie with Bruce Willis called "Surrogates"...?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

LisaDiane said:


> Have you ever seen the movie with Bruce Willis called "Surrogates"...?


I was thinking about that very same movie.
but i also just came from the consumer electronics show in vegas, where the various future uses of "The Metaverse" were a very hot topic. 

in the future, you will be able to try on clothes at your local Macy's....without ever leaving your living room, for instance! It has implications for commerce, fire fighters, military, doctors, climate scientists, designers, chemists and drug companies....there will be a whole new copy of the entire world out there, but with all sorts of scientifice/math overlays to predict future outcomes.

Want to know how the voters will vote on a legislative initiative? If the voters are properly modelled...you can just run the metaverse simulation, and keep changing how the law reads until it wins the vote. The metaverse will predict the human behavior that accurately


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Hopefully when that technology arrives, it will stop some useless wankers from marrying and reproducing.


That would make it worthwhile.😂


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## JLCP (Aug 18, 2021)

damo7 said:


> Me jerking off over other women involves no interaction. I wouldn't mind if my wife jerked off to pics or movies of other men she'd never met, no. But she would mind if I starred in porn or got naked for women to see me because that is very DIFFERENT and I know for a fact that most sane people agree with me.


I think men get off looking at naked women and women get excited by knowing that someone finds them desirable (not, for example by watching flaccid male strippers). I think the female equivalent of men masturbating to images of a person outside of the relationship is for a woman to put on a show for a man outside of the relationship, knowing that her show is exciting him and he is likely masturbating to the show.

It follows that if you believe it is OK for a man to use a woman outside the relationship to fulfill his sexual needs it is OK for his SO to use a man outside the relationship to fulfill her needs. Men and women might go about using an outsider in different ways, but in this example, the goal and result is the same- their sexual needs are being fulfilled outside the relationship.


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