# Do women show more interest to men after 40 40



## enso

Now that I am in my 40s I find women are showing a lot more interest in me then before. I am married and not looking for any attention. I am not bragging at all just wondering what is going on. I consider myself average looking, dress well, and try to keep in decent shape. Never got any attention when I was younger but now too much. What is going on? Life is so strange sometimes.


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## waiwera

Maybe as you have got older your confidence has increased. There is nothing sexier than a man or woman who is comfortable in their own skin.

Enjoy it...don't abuse it.


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## Dollystanford

I've always got on better with older men than younger guys

they have more to say and with experience comes hotness


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## YellowRoses

There is truth in that

I have some colleagues/work acquaintances I have known for 20+ yrs. I find them much more interesting these days than I did years ago even though we've aged together if you see what I mean

'Its not the years in your life but the life in your years'


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## in my tree

Everything that everyone else here has said PLUS there may be more divorced women around now.


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## DanF

It's true.
Women of all ages are more interested in a middle aged, confident and experienced man unless that man is a slob or completely out of shape. I think that there are a few factors;
1. Confidence
2. By the time we are in our 40's, we should be(and I think most are) financially stable.
3. We are usually mature and can act like adults. (Boys are the stupidest creatures on Earth. Search "Bottle rocket in A$$" on youtube if you don't believe me)
4. A majority of us are married which means stability, and an uncomplicated one night stand if needed.


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## chillymorn

just more divorced women out there.looking for their next ......


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## Cosmos

Even in my 20s I was attracted to more mature men. Like Waiwera mentioned, (true) confidence is very attractive to women, and perhaps more mature men are more confident than younger men.


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## enso

DanF said:


> It's true.
> Women of all ages are more interested in a middle aged, confident and experienced man unless that man is a slob or completely out of shape. I think that there are a few factors;
> 1. Confidence
> 2. By the time we are in our 40's, we should be(and I think most are) financially stable.
> 3. We are usually mature and can act like adults. (Boys are the stupidest creatures on Earth. Search "Bottle rocket in A$$" on youtube if you don't believe me)
> 4. A majority of us are married which means stability, and an uncomplicated one night stand if needed.


Good points and even younger women who I find are more mature in general then men hit on 40's. One told me ( she is around 23) many men these day lack maturity and don't know how to treat women and have deep long term relationships. 

BTW- I am married for 18 years , stable, and happy -well most of the time. This is just an observation I am making.


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

Even though I'm 57 I've noticed this as well, and thought it was my imagination, but according to my 20 year old daughter it's not, she tells me I am being "Checked out" by women even in their late 30's.

My view and from other men is that in recent years a lot of women thinking the "Grass was greener" elsewhere have divorced husbands that did not commit any real divorce-able offenses other than boredom. Now, after the brief flush of freedom and a few hook ups that don't go anywhere they realize there is a shortage of men. The fact many of the ones that are available are more than a little bit pissed with women in their 40's and are trying to date younger.....Why?...because their wives pulled the same crap on them.


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## Conrad

Just look at what happens to so many of us.

The herd thins.

Women's emotional needs get met by financial security, conversation, and honesty.

These are all much easier in the 40's than the 20's.

The cruel demographic twist of fate is that we pay all the attention to them for 20 years, but the tables turn.


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## SimplyAmorous

> Now that I am in my 40s I find women are showing a lot more interest in me then before. I am married and not looking for any attention. I am not bragging at all just wondering what is going on. I consider myself average looking, dress well, and try to keep in decent shape. Never got any attention when I was younger but now too much. What is going on? Life is so strange sometimes.


 Some of those women might be having troubles at home and they admire your marriage, you are what they wish their husbands or BF's were... if you are really "successful" , this make your sex rank Jump for many.

I am always the odd one here....what else is new.. 

I personally was *never* attracted to men older than myself....(I wish my husband was a little younger now that we are in our 40's).... I think the one & only time I was.... is when I was struggling with inferility ...and I had a crush on my OBGYN... the man held my future in his hands (I seen him as so powerful, I was near dependent on him) -so I guess it makes sense. 

When younger... I just stayed away from the idiots -that can be at any age...alot of loosers in their 40's too who made bad choices in life.

There are good decent responsible men to be found in all stages of life... a woman must not be looking in the right places or is very turned off by the nice men who aren't as wildly adventurous. That appears to be a plague or something with females...when they are younger. Even that seems to be a lack of maturity . 



> *Cosmos said*: Even in my 20s I was attracted to more mature men. Like Waiwera mentioned, (true) confidence is very attractive to women, and perhaps more mature men are more confident than younger men.


 When boys are young, they don't know where they are headed, they hope, they dream, they stumble a little ... so what, I don't understand why this is a turn off....this is bound to be a normal phase...(so long as they are not putting bottle rockets up their a** or trying to jump the Grand Canyon).

It was never a turn off for me.... Just cause a guy is not Mr Confident riding on the clouds of success when he is younger doesn't mean he isn't capable of "growing" into success as he ages. Wouldn't it be best to do it along with him?? So he has a helpmate by his side? 

I always looked at a guys *work ethic *, his family, his friends, his beliefs, NOT where he was (financially or even confidently) at the time of his youth. That all comes in due time. Many that seemed overly confident were the biggest jerks around. 

But true, too many have been spoiled...not disciplined, with consequences in the home....lacking good examples , grow up thinking partying all night is "commonplace"..... it helps how one is raised, what they are exposed too , their life experiences -how they might handle relationships.....and beyond. All of these things "shape" us. 

When it doesn't, some hard knocks in our 20's can shake them up....knocking a GF up, becoming a dad... getting fired, getting a DUI. It shouldn't have to be this way though. 



> * DanF said*: (Boys are the stupidest creatures on Earth. Search "Bottle rocket in A$$" on youtube if you don't believe me)


 Oh what an example! :rofl:.... not all boys are this retarted or I would have had to :BoomSmilie_anim: myself... our oldest 3 don't even come close to a measure of this..... I just yelled in the other room to look this up...the 14 yr old said it was "stupid"- he seen it before. The 21 yr old said .... "that requires a pretty high level of stupidity Mom". 

My husband was never a Crazy man either, nor was my own father.....If some young joker wanted to act like this... . I'd probably stay to watch the adventure though. Why not. If he wants to blow out his a**, he might as well have an audience. 

How some men survive their younger years...it is a miracle, isn't it !


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## Chelle D

now that I'm a little older... A man with a little bit of grey, is just sexy as hell!.


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## Crazy8

I think it's that whole maturity and confidence thing. 

It seems like it takes some boys a long time to grow up these days. 40's are probably about right.


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## EleGirl

I have always heard that men do not mature until the are 40. It only lasts for a day so we have to watch very closely for that event. Perhaps that's what the women are looking for.


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## LovesHerMan

These are generalizations, but I think that men do become more attractive as they age and mature. Women look to men to provide and protect. A man in his 40's is more capable of doing this than a man in his early 20's. Older men can also make better fathers because their wild days are behind them, and they are ready to settle down and be more patient with children than some younger men may be.


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

lovesherman said:


> These are generalizations, but I think that men do become more attractive as they age and mature. Women look to men to provide and protect. A man in his 40's is more capable of doing this than a man in his early 20's. Older men can also make better fathers because their wild days are behind them, and they are ready to settle down and be more patient with children than some younger men may be.



Don't know about the Dad bit, most are done by their 40's. I didn't get married until I was 34 and changed the last diaper at 44. It kind of looks like poaching some other woman's husband because they either dumped theirs or were dumped, as most guys in their 40's are already married....


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## Anubis

It's very true. When I got divorced after turning 40, I didn't recognize the dating landscape. Suddenly I felt like the pretty girl in high school, and it baffled me at first. I was attractive to and going out with women from their 20s to their 50s, all the while thinking "where the hell was this when I was 22?" (Truth was I had grown up and improved greatly in the intervening years)

I've heard it described in terms of "social capital" or some other package of traits generally desired in a mate - it peaks for women much earlier than it does for men (which makes sense if you look at from a anthropological standpoint being all about making and successfully raising offspring).

That said, for men in their 40s I think the division between winners and losers is sharper. A guy who was basically a 'looser' in his early 20s could have attracted girls by playing up the bad boy/misunderstood artist/angry young man/whatever angle or just being good looking while being without money/future prospects/ambition/displaying responsibility. Fast forward a couple decades and it's much more expected that he has shaped up and in charge of his world and able to provide. If he's still living in Mom's basement, etc, then he probably pretty unattractive to most women.

On the other hand, a newly single man who is 40+ who is keeping fit, being very confident and having no time for BS, and having a successful career and clearly able to provide both security and fun. Well, unless he has has zero social skills, he is going to get a lot of attention from women if he goes looking. And the demographics are finally in his favor.

One thing that was *very evident* in my post-D dating was that there are a lot of women out there who do not want to grow old alone, and have to be solely providing for themselves. (Too bad many of them probably put down guys when they were younger as boring for having all the things they now want) Having all my hair, and fitting in to my high school jeans helped. Clearly being confident, determined, knowing who I am and what I am doing, and not willing to put up with BS helped a whole, whole lot more. The icing on the cake came when they realized I was quite successful and liked to do things like fly off to Cabo or Maui for week at a top resort.

Maybe that makes me sound like I was a player but truth was, I was still sorting it all out on the inside. Rather than try to score with every gal, I was the one to go slow and break things off until I met someone that was truly right for me - the fear of repeating the bad parts of my marriage drove me to improve myself so I won't ever go through that again (one hopes). I think there a lot of 40+ men who are awful cautious about being burned again.


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

"I think there a lot of 40+ men who are awful cautious about being burned again. "

Very true Anubis, I put myself in that camp. I've no interest in dating any woman who dumped hubby because she "needed to find herself" or just walked away from a pretty good marriage. 

The market demand for such women in their 40's is only getting slimmer, the Men's movement has started to form. Many of us post 40 have already been through hell (close to 70% of divorces are now instigated by women) big chunks of the 70% are long term marriages that had no serious divorce-able offenses, the wife walking away with some old BF on Facebook looking for excitement while boring old hubby pays for it....


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## AFEH

EleGirl said:


> I have always heard that men do not mature until the are 40. It only lasts for a day so we have to watch very closely for that event. Perhaps that's what the women are looking for.


:rofl:


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## ocotillo

I've noticed the same thing. I started a thread on it and (inadvertently) hurt some feelings. It makes very little sense.


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## DanF

Here's a thought that will likely piss off a bunch of you ladies, but it's the truth.
Women are genetically programmed (from way back in cave man days) to find a suitable provider and protector for themselves and their kids.
Men are genetically programmed (from way back in cave man days) to find the healthiest, fittest women to bear healthy children.

In our society, which men make the best providers and protectors? The settled down, mature, fit, financially stable man.

In our society, which women will likely have the healthiest strongest babies? The fit, healthy, beautiful, young women.


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## EleGirl

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> "I think there a lot of 40+ men who are awful cautious about being burned again. "
> 
> Very true Anubis, I put myself in that camp. I've no interest in dating any woman who dumped hubby because she "needed to find herself" or just walked away from a pretty good marriage.
> 
> The market demand for such women in their 40's is only getting slimmer, the Men's movement has started to form. Many of us post 40 have already been through hell (close to 70% of divorces are now instigated by women) big chunks of the 70% are long term marriages that had no serious divorce-able offenses, the wife walking away with some old BF on Facebook looking for excitement while boring old hubby pays for it....


I agree with you on women (or men) who walk out on a basically good marriage to 'find herself'.

How do you judge if her marriage had no divorce-able offenses?

And what about women who left marriages for very good reasons?


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## Paulination

I'm 43 and got hit on by another mom at my sons baseball practice like I have never been hit on before. I was just being nice to her and she was all over me (not physically) even when she learned I was still with my sons mom (one of the first questions she asked). There might be something to this.


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## EleGirl

DanF said:


> Here's a thought that will likely piss off a bunch of you ladies, but it's the truth.
> Women are genetically programmed (from way back in cave man days) to find a suitable provider and protector for themselves and their kids.
> Men are genetically programmed (from way back in cave man days) to find the healthiest, fittest women to bear healthy children.
> 
> In our society, which men make the best providers and protectors? The settled down, mature, fit, financially stable man.
> 
> In our society, which women will likely have the healthiest strongest babies? The fit, healthy, beautiful, young women.


But how many men over 40 are looking to have another set of children?


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

EleGirl said:


> I agree with you on women (or men) who walk out on a basically good marriage to 'find herself'.
> 
> How do you judge if her marriage had no divorce-able offenses?
> 
> And what about women who left marriages for very good reasons?


If a woman is in a bad marriage with abuse, addiction etc... by all means leave and get a divorce, but that's not what I'm talking about here. 

According to surveys things that most consider a good reason for divorce , Eg Physical or mental abuse, are less than 25% of the reasons for the divorce these days. Women are increasingly leaving marriages with reasons like " My expectations were not being met", " We grew apart" and leaving husbands saying "WTF just happened?"

This forum is full of these stories, if anything the men were too accommodating to their wives rather than abusive. In many cases the OM is a down trade from hubby in most respects. For woman going through Peri menopause the feeling of attraction for other men and losing feelings for her husband are quite common, usually taking place over a couple of years. Affairs are pretty common during this period, the husband getting the speech about 6 months into their wives affair. 

Check out the second life forum, there are over 17,000 posts of the same script, long term marriage with no big issues, wife hit's 40, becomes withdrawn, becomes secretive then drops the bomb, claims they "need space", then leaves. Husband digs around and finds there has been an EA to PA with OM for 6 months or more at the onset of the wife's change in behavior.


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## EleGirl

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> If a woman is in a bad marriage with abuse, addiction etc... by all means leave and get a divorce, but that's not what I'm talking about here.
> 
> According to surveys things that most consider a good reason for divorce , Eg Physical or mental abuse, are less than 25% of the reasons for the divorce these days. Women are increasingly leaving marriages with reasons like " My expectations were not being met", " We grew apart" and leaving husbands saying "WTF just happened?"
> 
> This forum is full of these stories, if anything the men were too accommodating to their wives rather than abusive. In many cases the OM is a down trade from hubby in most respects. For woman going through Peri menopause the feeling of attraction for other men and losing feelings for her husband are quite common, usually taking place over a couple of years. Affairs are pretty common during this period, the husband getting the speech about 6 months into their wives affair.
> 
> Check out the second life forum, there are over 17,000 posts of the same script, long term marriage with no big issues, wife hit's 40, becomes withdrawn, becomes secretive then drops the bomb, claims they "need space", then leaves. Husband digs around and finds there has been an EA to PA with OM for 6 months or more at the onset of the wife's change in behavior.


One of my sister's-in-law divorced by brother recently. The divorce has been ugly to put it mildly. She did this to 'find herself'. 

They have had no contact except via email since Oct 2010. She kept telling him in emails that he just needs to move on with his life and be independent like she is now.... Then the rest of the email is how he needs to live up to his responsibility and pay her thousands of dollars a month for the rest of her life. :rofl:

Exactly how is a person 'moving on' and 'independent' if they have to fleece another person for money?

She turned into the most bitter, hateful person. If this is what 'finding herself' is about about wants anything to do with it.

Her selfish actions have all but destoryed my brother and their two children. Personally I think that they have destoryed her as well. Her actions make me think that she has lost her mind.

The reason I asked about women who leave a marriage for things like adultry and abuse is that I have heard a lot of men say that they will not go out with women who left a bad marriage because she is 'damaged'. 

Just wondered if you felt that way too.


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## Lon

What's with all this "wild days behind em" crud, not for me. In fact I think I am becoming less mature, less successful and less capable of holding down some responsibility as I age. But then momma always told to to go against the flow (don't think she meant the flow of time though)


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## EleGirl

Lon said:


> What's with all this "wild days behind em" crud, not for me. In fact I think I am becoming less mature, less successful and less capable of holding down some responsibility as I age. But then momma always told to to go against the flow (don't think she meant the flow of time though)


So it seems that you have already passed that one day at age 40 when men mature? :rofl:


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## Runs like Dog

I discovered this week that the 'last one fell' and 100% of all the other married women I know well and personally did or are having affairs. They are all mid 40's or older. I don't think they're playing Scrabble. They're about evenly split between dating men who are either exactly like their husbands or they are completely the opposite and older.


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## Lon

EleGirl said:


> So it seems that you have already passed that one day at age 40 when men mature? :rofl:


not if I live to be 80. So get on this single ladies, time's a tickin. I'm like an Orkan.


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## southbound

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> If a woman is in a bad marriage with abuse, addiction etc... by all means leave and get a divorce, but that's not what I'm talking about here.
> 
> According to surveys things that most consider a good reason for divorce , Eg Physical or mental abuse, are less than 25% of the reasons for the divorce these days. Women are increasingly leaving marriages with reasons like " My expectations were not being met", " We grew apart" and leaving husbands saying "WTF just happened?"
> 
> This forum is full of these stories, if anything the men were too accommodating to their wives rather than abusive. In many cases the OM is a down trade from hubby in most respects. For woman going through Peri menopause the feeling of attraction for other men and losing feelings for her husband are quite common, usually taking place over a couple of years. Affairs are pretty common during this period, the husband getting the speech about 6 months into their wives affair.
> 
> Check out the second life forum, there are over 17,000 posts of the same script, long term marriage with no big issues, wife hit's 40, becomes withdrawn, becomes secretive then drops the bomb, claims they "need space", then leaves. Husband digs around and finds there has been an EA to PA with OM for 6 months or more at the onset of the wife's change in behavior.


I can relate. My wife divorced me after 18 years with no big issues, at least not by most people's standards, there was no abuse or adultery, she just wasn't happy anymore with me. She dated a player shortly after our divorce who dumped her and she hasn't dated since. I was talking with a lady friend recently about how she wasn't dating anyone and she said, "Well, who would want her after she got divorced for the flimsy reasons she gave?" "Most men would be scared she would grow tired of me and walk out."


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## Thewife

enso said:


> Now that I am in my 40s I find women are showing a lot more interest in me then before. I am married and not looking for any attention. I am not bragging at all just wondering what is going on. I consider myself average looking, dress well, and try to keep in decent shape. Never got any attention when I was younger but now too much. What is going on? Life is so strange sometimes.


Agree....I catch more and more women checking out my H these days and I find him soo attractive since he turned 40 he is 43 now


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

EleGirl said:


> One of my sister's-in-law divorced by brother recently. The divorce has been ugly to put it mildly. She did this to 'find herself'.
> 
> They have had no contact except via email since Oct 2010. She kept telling him in emails that he just needs to move on with his life and be independent like she is now.... Then the rest of the email is how he needs to live up to his responsibility and pay her thousands of dollars a month for the rest of her life. :rofl:
> 
> Exactly how is a person 'moving on' and 'independent' if they have to fleece another person for money?
> 
> She turned into the most bitter, hateful person. If this is what 'finding herself' is about about wants anything to do with it.
> 
> Her selfish actions have all but destoryed my brother and their two children. Personally I think that they have destoryed her as well. Her actions make me think that she has lost her mind.
> 
> The reason I asked about women who leave a marriage for things like adultry and abuse is that I have heard a lot of men say that they will not go out with women who left a bad marriage because she is 'damaged'.
> 
> Just wondered if you felt that way too.


Well, at 57 my chances at meeting anyone who has not already been through at least one marriage is about nil ;~) We are all damaged goods, some of us just heal better than others.


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## Caribbean Man

SimplyAmorous said:


> Some of those women might be having troubles at home and they admire your marriage, you are what they wish their husbands or BF's were... if you are really "successful" , this make your sex rank Jump for many.
> 
> I am always the odd one here....what else is new..




No you are not alone on this.

I am 42 and I have noticed it too. A close female business associate told me exactly the same thing you said!
Added to that, I own a business.

But it has actually helped me in my business. I am involved in the fashion/apparel industry which is female dominated in this region [ the Caribbean ].
In fact,I often joke with my wife,the easiest thing for me to do is get a contract, because most of the H.R Managers are middle aged females . [ We source / manufacture ladies corporate uniforms for some of the largest companies in the Caribbean. eg Airlines , Banks
, Insurance Companies etc.]
What is interesting is that all of my competitors are FEMALE. And most times if I bid for a contract, by the time the interview is finished ,I KNOW that my bid would WIN against theirs...
But i'm just enjoying it anyway!


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## OhGeesh

That may be true for you, but asa whole definitely not. Many of you must have forgot whatits like to be 18-24 where sex was like getting Mcdonalds it was that easy!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## In_The_Wind

I will say yes they do a friend of mine jokes that after 40 they seem more interested in the buldge
In his back pocket ie wallet than the buldge In his frontal. Area . All kidding aside I think that a lot of women 
Find younger or same age guys immature I just turned 50 and my wife is 35 we been married for 12 yrs and have been together for 14yrs
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon

OhGeesh said:


> That may be true for you, but asa whole definitely not. Many of you must have forgot whatits like to be 18-24 where sex was like getting Mcdonalds it was that easy!!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


huh?


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## nxs450

:rofl:


Lon said:


> What's with all this "wild days behind em" crud, not for me. In fact I think I am becoming less mature, less successful and less capable of holding down some responsibility as I age. But then momma always told to to go against the flow (don't think she meant the flow of time though)


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## Conrad

OhGeesh said:


> That may be true for you, but asa whole definitely not. Many of you must have forgot whatits like to be 18-24 where sex was like getting Mcdonalds it was that easy!!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


In my next life, maybe I can come back as you.


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## Dollystanford

he must be british


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## DanF

EleGirl said:


> But how many men over 40 are looking to have another set of children?


Doesn't matter. We're still attracted to the same thing.


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## tm84

OhGeesh said:


> That may be true for you, but asa whole definitely not. Many of you must have forgot whatits like to be 18-24 where sex was like getting Mcdonalds it was that easy!!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Huh...easy for who??


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## EleGirl

I don't think that women pay more attention to men who are over 40. Women tend to pay attention to men who are near their own age.


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## EleGirl

DanF said:


> Doesn't matter. We're still attracted to the same thing.


Sure men might be attracted to younger women. But if a man 40 or older wants to be married again, if he does not want more children he's less likely to pick a younger woman to marry at that age.

Most younger women will want children.


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## Drover

Their wives? No. Every other woman? Yes.


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## La Rose Noire

I tend to find men in their mid 30's to early 40s the most attractive. I'm in my 20s. 

They're usually more mature, assertive, established, confident, etc. 

That is provided that they have kept themselves in good shape. 

My guy is 40, although most cannot tell because he's in such good shape and hardly has any grey hair. He's cool with getting married/having kids, so that is not an issue with us.


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## dubbizle

I have a freinds whose father lives in a retirment community and is a widoer and my friends say his father is getting all kinds of action.

This sounds bad, but I think as some women age they lose their attitude that they are wanted buy every guy and many of them realize that they just want a nice guy or the guy who was nice to them in the past that they thought they were to good for seems a lot better.


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## enso

frankieg said:


> when i was in college i was about a 7 of 10. now at 49 all the 10's i went to college with are fat and bald. i am neither, i also look 10 years or more younger than they do. i train 6 days a week and coach boxing and MMA. sooo revenge is sweet lol. all this to say maybe you just aged better than the rest lol


I think men 45+ should go to bars dance together and start rejecting women as revenge  Give them a taste of what is like being males in college.


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## enso

enso said:


> Now that I am in my 40s I find women are showing a lot more interest in me then before. I am married and not looking for any attention. I am not bragging at all just wondering what is going on. I consider myself average looking, dress well, and try to keep in decent shape. Never got any attention when I was younger but now too much. What is going on? Life is so strange sometimes.


http://www.datingadvice.com/for-women/how-to-meet-single-men-over-40
If there is a time of life when men are as close to perfect as they are ever going to get, it’s when they are in that 35 to 45 age range. They are confident and civilized, and they know how to approach and treat women (and children)


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## TallGuy

I'm glad I saw this thread; It's good to know I'm not alone! 

I'm very happily married for 23 years. My wife and kids are awesome, and I would never do anything to risk damaging us.

I'll be 47 this year, and have experienced new attention from women over the past four or five years. My wedding ring doesn't seem to be a good enough indicator that I'm unavailable! It's nuts!

Just last weekend I was followed down the auto parts isle at a local retailer. She walked past the end of the isle, then came back, and stood very close to me as I looked for an air filter. I felt like saying, "Honey, you need to look it up in the catalog first!". 

Sigh............

The really tough part about all this is my wife gets frustrated with the way she is aging. We are the same age, but I physically look considerably younger than her. (I'm tall, thin, with a full head of hair.) Then she observes the attention I get from younger women. It hurts her. I just work harder to lift her up so she KNOWS she is the love of my life, she is beautiful, and all I ever wanted. It's true!

I never imagined this type of experience would occur at this point in life. People are funny...............


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## Trickster

I feel the same way. I get much more attention now than ever before. In my younger days, I was a nerd.. I think. Nobody told me so. It’s just what I thought. Friends would have to tell me when a woman was hitting on me.

Now that I am older and more “confident” and in better shape at 45 than 25, have almost no hair on my head, women seem friendlier to me than before. I am not afraid to talk to then now.

I think my wife is more interested in me now than before. Maybe it’s the 180 thing I did which seems to be working for me, not just with my wife, but with women in general. I like the change in me.


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## ScarletBegonias

I used to love older men, back when i had daddy issues.lol

now that i've worked all that out I prefer men my age

the allure toward men old enough to be my father was security,someone to keep me safe,someone to coddle me,someone to admire me for my innocence.

looking back i'm repulsed with my younger self for feeding my inner child like that instead of putting myself in therapy.


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## Jellybeans

It all depends on the woman as an individual. One size does not fit all.


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## Goldmember357

I think women who have nobody become i dont want to say desperate but more ballsy in an approach to get men. Maybe the clock is ticking away? 

and more financially stable and the works


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## hunter411

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> Check out the second life forum, there are over 17,000 posts of the same script, long term marriage with no big issues, wife hit's 40, becomes withdrawn, becomes secretive then drops the bomb, claims they "need space", then leaves. Husband digs around and finds there has been an EA to PA with OM for 6 months or more at the onset of the wife's change in behavior.


You just summed up my entire ordeal in one paragraph. The more people that learn of my D, the more stories I hear of it happening to other men. It sounds like an epidemic. So is the answer to go ahead an have a relationship with a woman in their late forties because they already learned their lesson? What is it with turning 40?


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

hunter411 said:


> You just summed up my entire ordeal in one paragraph. The more people that learn of my D, the more stories I hear of it happening to other men. It sounds like an epidemic. So is the answer to go ahead an have a relationship with a woman in their late forties because they already learned their lesson? What is it with turning 40?


The answer is have a relationship with who ever you want, of any age you can pull, just filter out the MLC'ers. They use code words, such as " He wasn't meeting my needs", " I needed to grow".... they generally are also sporting a new tattoo as well.... run ;~) 

I plan on playing the field, now the shoe is on the other foot and older guys are in demand. I figure I deserve some fun after being a loyal husband for 24 years.


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## hunter411

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> they generally are also sporting a new tattoo as well.... run ;~)


:rofl: When I read that I realized the last month we were together, she mentioned getting a tattoo at least 5 times.


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## allthegoodnamesaregone

hunter411 said:


> :rofl: When I read that I realized the last month we were together, she mentioned getting a tattoo at least 5 times.



My STBXW has told my D19 that she is planning on getting a Tat....designed by the OM ;~) I tell you it's like the old "Red Letter" for adultery, only they brand themselves ;~) The online dating sites are full of "Separated/ Divorced" women late 30's to mid 40's sporting new Tats....
When you read the profiles they filled with the same "finding myself" drivel as well...


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## Triton2013

Before that. I'm 37. Meeting women was never hard for me, & I usually have a nice GF, but lately things are just different. Especially with women who have their own jobs/money who aren't looking to be supported. It's like being smart, creative, & not being part of a stereo type but just an individual suddenly seems more important than if I drive a certain kind of car or fulfill some image.


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## SouthernMiss

In general, men are just physically more appealing as they age. I'm 35, and my husband is 50. He has only gotten more physically desirable to me...the gray, the laugh lines...men just wear those things well. Of course, he takes pretty good care of himself too and still has a very attractive physique. 

Physically, I think men are at the peak between 40-55. I have never found a youthful, fresh faced man very appealing. It doesn't scream "masculine" to me. Even in my early 20s, my boyfriends tended to be in their early 40s.

Enjoy this time the same way women enjoy their sexual power of their youth. This is your "I'm hot" time


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## Wiserforit

Guys that whine about being over 30 and single again - talk about having it backwards. It's like being the bull in a herd of horny cows.


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## Lon

Wiserforit said:


> Guys that whine about being over 30 and single again - talk about having it backwards. It's like being the bull in a herd of horny cows.


Problem is, most of these bulls have become too soft, broken and now just coarse steers.


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## treyvion

Lon said:


> Problem is, most of these bulls have become too soft, broken and now just coarse steers.


This is the right way to look at it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD

Damn...I thought it was just me.

It's CRAZY! I am having all kinds of women trying to hit on me and just a touch of banter seems to reel them in if I were so inclined. One girl was hitting on me pretty hard and got p.o.ed when her friend dropped the fact that she was married!

One huge factor to me seems to be the fact that I'm married. There are several other men my age in my organization with similar qualities regarding income, status, nationality etc. One is supposedly 'hot' but he isn't looking for an LTR. The other is...less fit and never married. The ability to form a LTR seems important.

Let me add another theory to the mix: at 40, men have finally started to decipher 'girlspeak' and are NOW detecting come on's that they might have missed in previous years.


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## Wiserforit

Lon said:


> Problem is, most of these bulls have become too soft, broken and now just coarse steers.


Actually it's appalling how out of shape the youngsters are. Less than 20% of adults over 18 can meet the pathetically low standard the CDC has for aerobic and muscular conditioning.

The college kids never ceased to amaze me for how out of shape they were in my PE programs. If you can't blow the doors off 85% of 19 year olds at 55 then you aren't even trying. The varsity sportsmen were fun to work with. But the average student is just out of shape and not very accomplished physically.


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## Goldmember357

Men's stock rises as they age. Also is it any wonder that rich men let alone powerful men like politicians always have affairs? 

What I am saying is as a man your stock will increase as you age, and if you can stay in good shape and well groomed that puts you well above most men and women. Meaning that as people age life gets busy, most have families and it becomes harder for most people to stay in shape let alone look like a model. You'll find many women who have not settled down are rushing to settle down, and you may find many women who in the past did not dig you now dig you for a variety of reasons.


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## Holland

I never understood the Cougar thing. A snotty nosed, inexperience guy would bore me to tears. Now a real man, one with age and experience on his side, well woohoo that's the best.

Here is an observation: when Mr H and I cycle together I get no perving looks, when I cycle alone the guys perv, all good.
When we are out together I get few looks, when I am out without him I get looks and hit on.

But when we are out together women will still perv on him. What is it about middle aged women? Is it the challenge of a man that is clearly with someone else?

Men seem to be more respectful in that way, women don't seem to care if a guy is taken.


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## Goldmember357

allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> If a woman is in a bad marriage with abuse, addiction etc... by all means leave and get a divorce, but that's not what I'm talking about here.
> 
> According to surveys things that most consider a good reason for divorce , Eg Physical or mental abuse, *are less than 25% of the reasons* for the divorce these days. Women are increasingly leaving marriages with reasons like " My expectations were not being met", " We grew apart" and leaving husbands saying "WTF just happened?"
> 
> This forum is full of these stories, if anything the men were too accommodating to their wives rather than abusive. In many cases the OM is a down trade from hubby in most respects. For woman going through Peri menopause the feeling of attraction for other men and losing feelings for her husband are quite common, usually taking place over a couple of years. Affairs are pretty common during this period, the husband getting the speech about 6 months into their wives affair.
> 
> Check out the second life forum, there are over 17,000 posts of the same script, long term marriage with no big issues, wife hit's 40, becomes withdrawn, becomes secretive then drops the bomb, claims they "need space", then leaves. Husband digs around and finds there has been an EA to PA with OM for 6 months or more at the onset of the wife's change in behavior.


Yeah I disagree with that. 

Divorce gets blamed on a lot of things but I assure you most people who are divorcing have a number of issues. Most divorces in my experience are because of abuse, psychological issues or infidelity or a number of those things. The person filing for divorce is usually the one who has had enough, the person who gets left is the one who is content with the situation. The person who files for divorce is (a good portion of the time) the one who put more effort into the relationship (from what I have seen). 

This may draw fire from divorced people on here, but I am speaking about what I feel generally represents the majority. 



allthegoodnamesaregone said:


> " My expectations were not being met", " We grew apart" and leaving husbands saying "WTF just happened?"
> 
> Check out the second life forum, there are over 17,000 posts of the same script, long term marriage with no big issues, wife hit's 40, becomes withdrawn, becomes secretive then drops the bomb, claims they "need space", then leaves. Husband digs around and finds there has been an EA to PA with OM for 6 months or more at the onset of the wife's change in behavior.


Not denying that these cases do not exist. THEY DO exist, but its not the majority by any means. Most divorced women are in worse off situations than prior to the divorce, divorce for women is NOT something that MOST take lightly or really want to do. Single mothers are one of the poorest groups in America, and children often come with marriage and with divorce children often fall on the women. Furthermore divorced women see their stock fall much more than divorced men. Id argue that for many divorced men their stock rises (they end up better off) while for many divorced women their stock falls (they end up worse off). Your exceptions are when you got a gold digger who marry's a man with lots of money, but we all know those marriages are cold and have no real love and are sad cases. 

I've noticed that women who walk away for no reason more often than not are incredibly materialistic and narcissistic.

Divorced men= Stock rises
Divorced women= Stock falls


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## WellyVamp

When I was younger, it was the older guys who caught my attention. Now I'm 36, it's the younger ones that make me go ooh. 

Maybe it's because I have my own money, job etc. I don't _need_ someone to support me and help me.

Only now can I fully appreciate the full beauty of youth. I've lost count of the number of times I've recently found myself thinking "If I was single and 10 years younger...".


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## Kobo

A higher percentage of older women live with men that have grown tired of putting up with their shiat


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## Wiserforit

Holland said:


> Is it the challenge of a man that is clearly with someone else?


Pretty common observation, and I see it too.

Some say that the fact you already have a woman validates you in the eyes of other women. 

Some say it is women having evolved from sharks, and we're just seeing the well-known feeding frenzy.


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## Holland

Wiserforit said:


> Pretty common observation, and I see it too.
> 
> Some say that the fact you already have a woman validates you in the eyes of other women.
> 
> Some say it is women having evolved from sharks, and we're just seeing the well-known feeding frenzy.


Interesting. I have never been interested in an already taken man but I can see it in other women. I covert what I have with my partner and while I have no issue with flirting I would knock another womans head off if she crossed a boundary, Makes me a lion instead of a shark perhaps.


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## bbdad

I find that I get hit on ALOT more in my 40's than at any other time in my life. It is not uncommon for it to even be in front of my wife, which is very uncomfortable.

I figure a lot of it is what is mentioned above. As we age, we are more mature, typically more financially stable and know what we want. Also, I see that many men my age are in horrible shape. I am in better shape than most 20 yr olds so it gets even crazier at times. When I am out with my kids, it gets worse some times. I guess the divorced ladies see a guy that is also a good father, which is another trait they are looking for.

I will admit the attention is nice - especially when it is lacking at home, but the whole situation just makes me very uncomfortable.


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## Ceegee

Goldmember357 said:


> Yeah I disagree with that.
> 
> Divorce gets blamed on a lot of things but I assure you most people who are divorcing have a number of issues. Most divorces in my experience are because of abuse, psychological issues or infidelity or a number of those things. The person filing for divorce is usually the one who has had enough, the person who gets left is the one who is content with the situation. *The person who files for divorce is (a good portion of the time) the one who put more effort into the relationship* (from what I have seen).
> 
> This may draw fire from divorced people on here, but I am speaking about what I feel generally represents the majority.
> 
> 
> 
> Not denying that these cases do not exist. THEY DO exist, but its not the majority by any means. Most divorced women are in worse off situations than prior to the divorce, divorce for women is NOT something that MOST take lightly or really want to do. Single mothers are one of the poorest groups in America, and children often come with marriage and with divorce children often fall on the women. Furthermore divorced women see their stock fall much more than divorced men. Id argue that for many divorced men their stock rises (they end up better off) while for many divorced women their stock falls (they end up worse off). Your exceptions are when you got a gold digger who marry's a man with lots of money, but we all know those marriages are cold and have no real love and are sad cases.
> 
> I've noticed that women who walk away for no reason more often than not are incredibly materialistic and narcissistic.
> 
> *Divorced men= Stock rises
> Divorced women= Stock falls*



And I would, respectfully, have to disagree with this. Head on over to the Going Through Divorce section and see if you still maintain this opinion.

I do, however, agree with your summation about divorced men's stock rising. If I had to use one word to describe our demographic I would say we are more distinguished at this point in time. 

It's a fun place to be albeit not the one chosen. I have to agree with many of my 40 something brethren here. We are being flirted with more at work, hit on in grocery stores and bought drinks at bars. It matters not if the children are with us or not. The problem seems to be that the women that are the most forward are the ones with the most "issues".

If you want to find the perfect diamond in the rough you still have to do the work to find it.


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## hookares

I lost everything in my divorce. However, my net "stock" rose appreciably since there was now only one person deciding what was necessary for existence and still only one person supplying the funds to finance it.
Not sure about how younger women feel about me, but most of the ladies I have dated since the D are somewhat younger.


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## ASummersDay

I swoon over older men. My husband is 6 years older than me. I actually find them more physically attractive. Like a fine wine, and all that. 

That being said, there's a particular type of older man that I am attracted to personality-wise. Emotional maturity, financial stability, and wisdom from life experience are the traits that I look for. They are generally more prevalent in older men than men my own age.


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## treyvion

hookares said:


> I lost everything in my divorce. However, my net "stock" rose appreciably since there was now only one person deciding what was necessary for existence and still only one person supplying the funds to finance it.
> Not sure about how younger women feel about me, but most of the ladies I have dated since the D are somewhat younger.


Younger is cool, not too young you'll waste too much time unless your only bedding them. But a lady a couple of years older than you is a great thing, because they tend to take better care of their man. It's the age thing, even one or two years.

Find one with the type of energy and outlook you need.


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## Viseral

I've definitely noticed that since hitting 40 women are more attracted to me. I'm 42 now. I'm in good shape, still have my youth, have wisdom, confidence, life experience, financial security, and a cool car....

I don't fall for those womanly tricks anymore and as a result I think I come across as more of a challenge. In fact, I intentionally go out of my way to avoid women because I have a smokin hot girlfriend who's 9 years younger than me and I honestly don't want the drama. 

If I became single again, I could land another chick in a heartbeat, but until then, I'm focusing on the good woman I already have.....

Poetic justice for all those hottie girls who back in the day could have any man they wanted....


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