# Thinking of leaving



## GreenVixen (Aug 26, 2012)

Ok here goes. We have been together for only a few years and married for less then that. From day one of our relationship, we both had limited sex lives and small amounts of communication. I have tried numerous times to talk to him about wanting more intimacy but the issue went unresolved. Now here I am, pregnant. It was a surprise but I couldn't be happier. Both of us have always wanted a child but I am still thinking about a separation. 

There other issues, like lack of communication and emotional support. This isn't a new feeling I have had. I just wasn't ready to give up on our relationship and thought that it was me who needed changing. As for the sex issue, I have tried EVERYTHING to get him in the mood. And sex is maybe once a month..or less. I know I am really attractive too. Never had an issue with past exes and even now, men make joking comments here and there even though I'm pregnant. I am very attracted to him still. But he makes me feel nothing but ugly. 

No counseling. He just wont go. Other then those issues, he is an amazing man. Trustworthy too. But I don't feel loved or desired. I felt that way when we met but I think it was more because I just got out of a long relationship. I am lost on how to fix this. If we separate, it would hurt him so much. I know he cares about me, just wish he would have shown it. 

The only thing that is stopping me from leaving now is the fact that i am pregnant and don't want to hurt his feelings. I would have already left had I known/felt he wasn't in love with me anymore. I even hoped (at one point) he'd just leave me so I wouldn't have to hurt him.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

As a woman who went through 4 pregnancies, take my advice and don't do anything right now. You have pregnancy brain big time and you might regret stuff later. Complete the pregnancy first and then see how he is where it really counts -- Dad

Also try just talking to him and asking him about his hang ups. Do you talk to him about it or just try to get him gassed up? Guys unfortunately are not as easy as we think they are and some deeper issues may be here.


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## novalee (Aug 27, 2012)

I totally agree with hotdogs! I was an emotional mess when prego and didn't realize untill I came out the other end! Now is not the time to make such life altaring decisions.

What is his reason for not wanting to have sex with you?


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## GreenVixen (Aug 26, 2012)

novalee said:


> I totally agree with hotdogs! I was an emotional mess when prego and didn't realize untill I came out the other end! Now is not the time to make such life altaring decisions.
> 
> What is his reason for not wanting to have sex with you?


He just keeps saying he doesn't have the urge to do it. It's upsetting.


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## StatusQuo (Jun 4, 2012)

Was it like this before you got pregnant? Or is it a new development?


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## GreenVixen (Aug 26, 2012)

StatusQuo said:


> Was it like this before you got pregnant? Or is it a new development?


Was like this always. We are 26 btw.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

Dont do anything until the baby is born and even a few months later. One question I have for you is, why did you get married in the first place if he was never into sex and that was a deal braker for you?


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## Torrivien (Aug 26, 2012)

He may have some issues with sex. He may be insecure about his performance or his size or something else. Sometimes, people can't admit it or even see it in themselves.

Try to communicate with him more, and tell him that you can't remain unhappy.

I don't know anything about pregnancy, so you should follow the others' advice. You have more important matter now that you're about to birth a child, and who knows, maybe becoming a father could open him up.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Does he know you've been thinking about leaving him? Did he know this before you got pregnant? 

Sounds like a very unfair dynamic to father a child with a woman that secretly had leaving intentions.

Would he want to have a child if you were to divorce?


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