# Need mens perspective



## mchris1 (5 mo ago)

I know initiating sex is a big topic among relationships, I would like to know mens view point on this. I agree women can be too subtle at times. What is a man looking for as far as initiation goes?

Insight: I have a very high sex drive but I highly fear rejection and feel I may ask at inconvenient times.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Your fiance is cheating according to your other post and has an std so please don't have sex with him at all.


----------



## mchris1 (5 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> Your fiance is cheating according to your other post and has an std so please don't have sex with him at all.


I do not plan on having sex with my fiancé until when/if the situation is sorted out. This post wasn’t in connection with my current situation it is just an interesting topic.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

As a man, I have always preferred when women are subtle about sex. The least attractive women to me have always been the drunk ones that try to throw themselves at me at the bar. Just being pushy about it. It's a turn off, no matter what they look like. If a woman is attractive, she shouldn't need to do that. Just put on something sexy and your guy should notice. It also helps if the woman is the affectionate type and not a cold fish 95% of the time until you get laid.


----------



## mchris1 (5 mo ago)

Enigma32 said:


> As a man, I have always preferred when women are subtle about sex. The least attractive women to me have always been the drunk ones that try to throw themselves at me at the bar. Just being pushy about it. It's a turn off, no matter what they look like. If a woman is attractive, she shouldn't need to do that. Just put on something sexy and your guy should notice. It also helps if the woman is the affectionate type and not a cold fish 95% of the time until you get laid.


Agreed! I think a majority of women(not all) don’t know where the balance is when it comes to initiating or don’t know where they stand. Granted every situation will be different. I read an article stating a majority of men feel their partner is too subtle or doesn’t initiate sex enough and feel unwanted. It’s interesting to see the other side of the thought process!


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

mchris1 said:


> Insight: I have a very high sex drive but I highly fear rejection and feel I may ask at inconvenient times.


As a man, here are the inconvenient times that I may ask you to hold off for a few minutes - 

- If the house is on fire. 

- if someone in the house has an obstructed airway or arterial bleeding. 

If those things are occuring at the moment, we may need to wait until either the fire department or paramedics arrive.


----------



## mchris1 (5 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> As a man, here are the inconvenient times that I may ask you to hold off for a few minutes -
> 
> - If the house is on fire.
> 
> ...


That is a good way to look at it😂 I think for some women they get in their heads too much about it versus letting it flow. It’s fascinating to me the difference between male and female thought process.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

mchris1 said:


> That is a good way to look at it😂 I think for some women they get in their heads too much about it versus letting it flow. It’s fascinating to me the difference between male and female thought process.


Worrying about rejection or being an inconvenient time is thinking like a girl. Women reject sexual advances and can be inconvenienced by then at various times. 

Men typically do not reject sex and as long as they aren't on fire or have arterial bleeding, there really is not inconvenient times..... they will make the time!!


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

mchris1 said:


> Agreed! I think a majority of women(not all) don’t know where the balance is when it comes to initiating or don’t know where they stand. Granted every situation will be different. I read an article stating a majority of men feel their partner is too subtle or doesn’t initiate sex enough and feel unwanted. It’s interesting to see the other side of the thought process!


I think some men have partners that are maybe a bit cold so they would love to get something out of her. I've been there. Had an ex wife that would sit on the other side of the couch, didn't give much if any affection, etc. If you're married to a woman like that, you'd probably love some kind of initiation on her part. My fiancee now is very affectionate and loving, I know she is into me and I don't have to wonder about it. She also doesn't need to try to have sex. If I come home and she is wearing her knee socks and no bra...it's on.


----------



## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

I like an affectionate expression and closing in to cuddle. I'm the cuddling, romantic type.

My wife is Australian and they don't seem to make subtle women there. I guess a mischievous look and her grabbing a handful of my crotch is okay, too, if she wants a romp rather than romance.

Rejection? That's something my wife has never had to consider in our relationship. I am at her beck and call.


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

My wife is very subtle when she initiates sex. 
If I’m elsewhere on the property she texts me “wanna ****”.
And I always wanna ****😁


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Just jump on me...


----------



## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

I always prefer to initiate. Most men like to be in control. But it really depends on how healthy of a sex life you have. If a woman turns their husband down often for sex, a man will take it anyway he can get it.


----------



## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

mchris1 said:


> What is a man looking for as far as initiation goes?


Have personally never been too concerned about the whole “initiation” thing. Wife n I are grandparents, in our teenage days a girl would not even call a boy on the telephone. It would be a neighborhood scandal if she did. So wife’s way to initiate is come ask “wanna go lay down?” The “f” word or any other 4 letter word has never passed her lips. 

That is fine with me. If she doesn’t ask, I just start romancing her. She has NEVER rejected me. Initiate? Who cares?


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

mchris1 said:


> What is a man looking for as far as initiation goes?


My dream initiation from my wife is she literally attacks me, grabs me and starts making out, then reveals she’s had lingerie on under her street clothes and has been wearing it all day. In other words she had a plan to have sex and she’s executing it.

That almost never happens.


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Rus47 said:


> The “f” word or any other 4 letter word has never passed her lips.


Same with my wife. Never, ever have I heard my wife to utter 4 letter words in any circumstances. Her subtle way always' been "do you feel like it?"


----------



## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Rob_1 said:


> Same with my wife. Never, ever have I heard my wife to utter 4 letter words in any circumstances. Her subtle way always' been "do you feel like it?"


You and Rus47 would probably be uncomfortable around an Aussie. She doesn't use four letter words in seducing or intimate moments, but they come freely at other times.


----------



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

From an initiation standpoint my wife is like a person with multiple personalities. I would say she is mostly fairly subtle, a mischievous look, scratching her chest and "accidentally" flashing her nipple at me, things of that nature to walking into the room naked, waking me up in the middle of the night with a BJ or texting me come here now from the bedroom while lying on the bed naked or texting me a picture of her vajayjay just saying something like I'm hungry. She definitely has never worried about being rejected.


----------



## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

mchris1 said:


> I know initiating sex is a big topic among relationships, I would like to know mens view point on this. I agree women can be too subtle at times. What is a man looking for as far as initiation goes?
> 
> Insight: I have a very high sex drive but I highly fear rejection and feel I may ask at inconvenient times.


Man here.

I'm going to assume that your man is not initiating sex. Is that correct? 

So is that why you are trying to initiate with him? 

It makes sense you don't want to be rejected. I get it. On average, men tend to get used to being rejected and women do not. That is not to say that this happens for all men and all women. Certainly not. It is just that men are typically the ones that are expected to "make the first move". So, I understand you have a fear of rejection.

You can do things without having to say outright, "I want to have sex now". I can understand getting rejected after saying something like that would be very painful. 

I also see you notice that some women can be too subtle. This is also true. For me personally, I am not going to get the hint that a woman wants to have sex if she is looking at me and playing with her necklace. I know that sounds ridiculous, I'm just making an exageration to make my point. Lots of men won't pick up the small subtle moves. 

It would probably be best if you were a little more forward. I am going to assume you know what your man likes. Use that to your advantage without saying a word. For example - I am personally turned on by a woman's curves. My exwife is very curvy. If I was in a room watching tv or working on some project and she were to walk into the room wearing some sort of lingerie that hugged her in all the right places, then dropped something on the floor and bent over to pick it up, then walked out of the room.... I'd be following. 

I know that sounds like an excessive and cheesy example, but I'm hoping you get the point. You don't have to say anything if you push his buttons, and I'm assuming you know which buttons to push. 

I see you said you think you ask at inconvenient times. Sounds like your relationship has other issues. I should probably read your other posts. In my opinion, there really aren't too many "inconvenient times" when it comes to most men.


----------



## sunstoner (5 mo ago)

mchris1 said:


> I know initiating sex is a big topic among relationships, I would like to know mens view point on this. I agree women can be too subtle at times. What is a man looking for as far as initiation goes?
> 
> Insight: I have a very high sex drive but I highly fear rejection and feel I may ask at inconvenient times.


My wfe never initiates nor very seldom wants sex. Once a quarter maybe?!

Thankgod she hasnt any other demands of me. 

#inanotherlifeiwouldvewalked


----------



## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

Initiating sex and wanting sex are two completely different things. My wife never imitated sex in our 25 years marriage but she almost never turned me down when I initiate and we have sex at least every other day.


----------



## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

mchris1 said:


> I agree women can be too subtle at times. What is a man looking for as far as initiation goes?


My wife has told me, "I came on to you last night but you didn't seem interested," which surprises me because I never turn her down. I've told her that subtle does not work for me. I have to be hit in the head with a 2x4. Make it clear what you want.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

mchris1 said:


> I know initiating sex is a big topic among relationships, I would like to know mens view point on this. I agree women can be too subtle at times. What is a man looking for as far as initiation goes?
> 
> Insight: I have a very high sex drive but I highly fear rejection and feel I may ask at inconvenient times.


Hey, let's get naked. How about a poke. Want to show me your .... I'm getting naked, join me. I'll let you give me a back rub. Want to shave me? 
Show me she's not wearing panties. In a nightshirt sits with legs spread open towards me

The list is endless. Just be clear, don't make him have to guess. 

Now, we've been M a long time and have a frequent and enthusiastic sex life already so there's that.


----------



## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Man here.
> 
> I'm going to assume that your man is not initiating sex. Is that correct?
> 
> ...


This poster is not wrong. 👏🏻


----------



## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Hey, let's get naked. How about a poke. Want to show me your .... I'm getting naked, join me. I'll let you give me a back rub. Want to shave me?
> Show me she's not wearing panties. In a nightshirt sits with legs spread open towards me
> 
> The list is endless. Just be clear, don't make him have to guess.
> ...


I’ve been looking for you response. Always ever knowledgeable, reasonable and helpful. 😆


----------



## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

One thing my wife does is lock eyes with me and give that devious little grin and give me those "come F me eyes" or say she needs some "daddy time"


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ccpowerslave said:


> That almost never happens.


Happened yesterday. Gotta say OP it worked for me I felt desired.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

mchris1 said:


> I know initiating sex is a big topic among relationships,* I would like to know mens view point* on this. I agree women can be too subtle at times. What is a man looking for as far as initiation goes?
> 
> Insight:* I have a very high sex drive but I highly fear rejection* and feel I may ask at inconvenient times.





mchris1 said:


> *I do not plan on having sex with my fiancé until when/if the situation is sorted out*. *This post wasn’t in connection with my current situation it is just an interesting topic.*


OK, for future use by the high sex drive lady. From this man's perspective, I want a woman who knows that my biggest sex organ is not between my legs, but between my ears. I want a woman that will use many different methods of sexually rousing me, my mind, my eyesight, my ears, my mouth, my sense of smell, my sense of touch and my genitals.

There are so many ways you can initiate. The clothes or lack of clothes you wear (visual stimulation), The way you smell (perfume, sex pheromones, etc.), what you say (sexy talk), running your hands on his body, through the hair on his head, playing with with his nipples, french kissing him, running you hands over his thighs, penis, testicles, etc. They are so very many ways you can sexually arouse a man and he will enjoy almost all of them.

Now if you are afraid of rejection, talk to him about this (the other guy in the future). Tell him that if he isn't in the mood when you try to sexually initiate, to tell you that he wants to have sex with you just not right not. Have him tell you to get a good nights sleep, if this is at night as he has sexual plans for you in the morning, or if it is the morning have him tell you that he can't right not, but he wants you to take a nap this afternoon as he will F your brains out that night.

Good luck and wanting to know something like this not in regard to your fiance, is odd.


----------

