# "Misguided sense of doing me a favor"



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Been 2 months since H dropped the bomb on me (original thread title). I've been doing the 180. At first I wouldn't even answer his calls. Started answering a few weeks ago and talking with him but all conversations have been strictly focused on the kids, wedding plan progress (the oldest is getting married in the fall), finances (or my lack of money), that kind of subject. Until the other day when he mentioned divorce again. Since we really have no assets to divide and child support is not an issue (youngest turns 18 in a few weeks) he suggested that we should use one lawyer to draw up the papers. He thinks that there is complete agreement btwn us about everything. He has said that he will help me and DD financially (rent, etc). Doing my research for my own protection. Being married to him for 25 years, I learned a thing or two about him and his "dependability". 

On the brighter side, I have continued to lose weight. Started coming off when I had the surgery to remove the brain tumor and has kept a steady pace, even accelerated since this all started. I am making dr appts and such and by the time the wedding comes around in October I will be (for lack of a better word) AWESOME! When I mentioned to him how much I have lost so far he responded with "really? that much?" 

I have decided that instead of being devastated, I will be devastating!

Oh, I forgot to clarify what I meant by misguided sense of nobility. That refers to H's rational that my disability hearing and award will be influenced by a divorce decree. Per my lawyer, NO, it will not. That has been one of his reasons, first, for this calamity. Find another rationalization to try to use.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

cherokee96red said:


> Been 2 months since H dropped the bomb on me (original thread title). I've been doing the 180. At first I wouldn't even answer his calls. Started answering a few weeks ago and talking with him but all conversations have been strictly focused on the kids, wedding plan progress (the oldest is getting married in the fall), finances (or my lack of money), that kind of subject. Until the other day when he mentioned divorce again. Since we really have no assets to divide and child support is not an issue (youngest turns 18 in a few weeks) he suggested that we should use one lawyer to draw up the papers. He thinks that there is complete agreement btwn us about everything. He has said that he will help me and DD financially (rent, etc). Doing my research for my own protection. Being married to him for 25 years, I learned a thing or two about him and his "dependability".
> 
> On the brighter side, I have continued to lose weight. Started coming off when I had the surgery to remove the brain tumor and has kept a steady pace, even accelerated since this all started. I am making dr appts and such and by the time the wedding comes around in October I will be (for lack of a better word) AWESOME! When I mentioned to him how much I have lost so far he responded with "really? that much?"
> 
> I have decided that instead of being devastated, I will be devastating!


:smthumbup:


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## Anonymous_Female (Apr 16, 2011)

cherokee96red said:


> I have decided that instead of being devastated, I will be devastating!


I'm totally using that as my new mantra :smthumbup:

Sounds to me like you are doing great!


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I like the mantra, too!

The best part of this is you getting healthy-surgery, weight loss and then feeling GREAT about it 

I'm losing weight as well and feeling pretty damn good over here.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

AF and staircase: TY!

That mantra was the result of a flash of inspiration. I have felt devastated since March and it occurred to me to turn that around and become devastating. I promised my son and his fiancee that I will be transformed by the wedding I and intend to keep my promise.

I hope to get the needed referral to begin the physical therapy next week. Right now I walk as though I'm drunk and my right hand is unpredictable, spastic even. There has been improvement in the last year and a half but should be so much more with the right therapy which has been denied me, til now.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

cherokee96red said:


> AF and staircase: TY!
> 
> That mantra was the result of a flash of inspiration. I have felt devastated since March and it occurred to me to turn that around and become devastating. I promised my son and his fiancee that I will be transformed by the wedding I and intend to keep my promise.
> 
> I hope to get the needed referral to begin the physical therapy next week. Right now I walk as though I'm drunk and my right hand is unpredictable, spastic even. There has been improvement in the last year and a half but should be so much more with the right therapy which has been denied me, til now.


Courage is very attractive - therefore I am certain you are absolutely stunning!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

golfergirl said:


> Courage is very attractive - therefore I am certain you are absolutely stunning!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh please, by all means keep the compliments coming! TYSVM!

Even my DD has told me that she and her friends have noticed that I have been "checked out" recently. What a boost to the ol' self esteem. I am finding that I still have "it", just been buried in the closet for a very long time.


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