# Wife wants to move out of my parents house and I don't because it's not right.



## Pakistani (Mar 17, 2015)

My wife and I have been married for 7 years and we have lived with my parents the whole time. We live in a beautiful 6 bedroom house and have 2 kids ages 6 and 4. Me and my wife make a combined income of 110K a year and can afford a house 2000 SF house tops. 

I am the only son and child in family and before I got married my parents bought this house under the pretense that I live with them which is the norm in Pakistani culture. My parents bought this house at a horrible time in 2005 and built it brand new. If I move out they will lose probably 200-300k on it.


My wife is never troubled by my parents for anything. She never does anything for them and my mom helps take care of the kids. We never had to pay a dime for a babysitter or nanny and we saved so much money for our kids college in the future. I know many Pakistani girls over 50 at least who live with inlaws in 1500 SQ foot homes and some even with sister in laws.

My mom is the easiest going mother in law in the world and my wife has admitted to this. My wife has not lost a minute of time because of my parents yet she is not happy living with them. I have told her till I am blue in the face the house is big and stay in your room if you want privacy. ( she complains about my dad being in the living room at times) 

Now she is threatening to leave me if I don't move out. My wife came here from Pakistan at 14 and knows the culture yet she still bothers me with this nonsense. I told my wife if we move it's not a good thing and my parents will lose 300K and we will also put all our money down on a house. My mom is attached to the kids and the kids love her and I told her this would tear my family apart yet she still insists.

This makes me feel like my wife is selfish and not a good person, I have told her many woman put up with a lot more and don't trouble there husband about this. I know this may not be a big thing, but I think something like this shows the type of person she is and it scares me.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I would move but I am in America. Your wife seems fine to me but maybe not for your culture?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

From what I've read your wife seems perfectly reasonable, as an independent adult I'd hate to have to live with my parents or in-laws (mummy's apron strings and all that).

Perhaps the following from a similar problem on Talk About Marriage might be worth reading.

Do I have a right to be mad at wife for not respecting my wishes regarding my mother


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

You and your wife seem to have both philosophical and cultural differences. 

Your wife wants to be independent and live life and raise the kids how she sees fit. She wants her own home, she wants you and the kids to be the core of her life, she wants to make her own decisions based on what she feels is best for the family.

You want to stick with culture and stay with mom and dad. You want to be dependent on them, you want your patents to influence your day to day life. You want your parents to help raise your kids and support you financially. And if I remember correctly from an earlier post don't you want to stay so you can inherit everything?(I could be getting that mixed up)

I see major differences in what you and your wife expect and want out of life. If you stay your wife will be unhappy and possibly divorce you, if you leave you will be unhappy and have to lower your standard of living. The only alternative compromise I can see would possibly be buying a duplex type home where each family has their own side. Or maybe renovating your parents home into two separate living areas.


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## princevinco (Jul 7, 2014)

Your wife is right, even the BIBLE said it in Mathew 19:5 "And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?"

Of a truth, it is better that you live in a two room apartment with your wife than living in a mansion with your parents. The evidence 
that you are matured enough for marriage is to leave your parents.

Since you are no longer Daddy's or Mummy's boy again, then follow your wife and leave your parent's house, find a separate apartment and live happily with your wife without third party interference if you wish to enjoy your wife and marriage to the fullness.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I think the idea to renovate and add another living room area for your family would be wise. Maybe even a kitchen? 

Did your wife agree to this plan long term/forever before you married?


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

She may love your family but be influenced by western culture. But I also wonder in that house, who has the master bedroom? Your parents? Who decides on furnishings, paint, wallpaper, appliances? Women tend to like to make a home their own - a reflection of their own tastes. No matter how lovely the home is, it is not HERS. 

Most adults who share homes with their children and grandchildren, it's the parents who live with the children, not the children who live with the parents. Sounds the same? It's not. She is not the woman of the house. You are not the man of the house. And since you didn't pay for it, that is likely not going to change.

Why do they have to lose money on it? They don't have to move if you move out, do they? Are you helping pay for it? If so, perhaps you add what we call in the US a "mother-in-law" suite. An area of the house that has a bedroom, bathroom, sitting room and even a very small kitchenette that is suitable for preparing snacks and small meals. You two take over the master bedroom and the main house. They can be attached or not. There should be a door that separates the two and sometimes even a separate entrance. This might be enough compromise to make her happy although your parents might feel put out about it.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Personal said:


> From what I've read your wife seems perfectly reasonable, as an independent adult I'd hate to have to live with my parents or in-laws (mummy's apron strings and all that).
> 
> Perhaps the following from a similar problem on Talk About Marriage might be worth reading.
> 
> Do I have a right to be mad at wife for not respecting my wishes regarding my mother


OP,

Follow Personal's suggestions and reread your older thread. Many people provided really good input.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

I think it boils down to this. If you like sex, then you should move out of your parents house.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Banned poster coming back.


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