# How to leave



## denvertigrz (Apr 1, 2013)

I've been in a relationship for 7 years, we have a beautiful 5 yr old daughter and we currently live 6 hours away from anyone we know because I had to move for a job. I'll be the first to say that I've made my fair share of mistakes in this marriage (never cheated) but some lies and mistakes...however she has also cheated on me, has no respect to a spending budget (she blames it on a shopping addiction), yells at me for the pettiest things (kids toys aren't picked up, I didn't wake her up in the a.m., my tv is too loud while watching a movie, etc..) and I've just grown to being unhappy and constantly day dream about how life would be if I was just single, but I love my daughter and will feel horrible leaving her because she will have no place to go, she probably wouldn't leave and I don't know what to do...I just know that I'm not happy and I can't keep lieing to myself. I have told her that I don't think we should be together anymore, but she turns angry and hold's my child's life over my head and starts to blame me that if I left it'll be my fault our child is raised in a broken home and damage her all the while I'm not happy. I'm just confused and typing because I have no one else to talk too...Thanks for any help


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I'm sorry this post hasn't been replied to. I think it may be too general for people to know how to respond.

You mention you've only been married for 7 years and have one child together. Neither of you seem to be doing anything other than blaming the other... Yes you said you've made mistakes, you also mentioned her mistakes, what you failed to mention is what either one of you have done to get better at marriage. 

To be totally blunt, you both sound like you suck at marriage. If you think someone else might be easier to live with, it's possible. But marriage with anyone takes a lot of work. Communicating, sharing, spending time together, prioritizing each other in your day to day lives, these things don't come naturally and in fact they naturally stop happening as the day to day drudgery takes hold.

How often do you and your wife go out together? How many hours per day do you and your wife focus on each other, not parenting, not the home, but just talking, sharing, being affectionate...? Do you still date your wife? Does she still date you? 

Her spending is a big problem, but how do you address it? How do you attempt to communicate your feelings about her spending. It makes you anxious when she over spends. It makes you feel like there is too much pressure to provide because you can't keep up with her spending. It worries you that her spending might make appropriate saving and retirement out of the question. I bothers you because she puts effort into spending your money but not spending te with you.

What things have you done to fix your relationship?
What things has she done?

Do you honestly think that whatever is happening now, is not going to happen in the next relationship?


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

You need to what is nest for the child and that may be divorce.


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