# Scared of life alone and the idea of seperation.



## Auddi38 (Jul 8, 2012)

Where do I start...I've been married for 21 years currently and I've come to a crossroads in life. I love my husband as my best friend but as far as being in love with him...I haven't for quite sometime. 
How do you tell the person you have spent 21 years of your life with that you love but aren't in love any longer. We've been together since we were respecively 17 and 15 years old. Me being the elder of us both. We have 3 children ages 20, 19 and 16 and all are currently living with us both. 
We've never been in any other realionship then WITH each other, have we made mistakes certainly. He's had affairs and so have I. I won't lie about that we've always worked things out between the two of us. I'm considering asking for marriage counseling but I deep down feel that I am just ready to run away and not come home again.
I'm afraid though to do this. I've never been alone, never had to be sole caregiver or take care of myself alone. I've always had a family to care for. A husband to take care of.
I've heard so many times through some of the most important people in my life that no one will "put up with your ****", or how no one else would "want a mother of three".
Honestly I don't care. I just want advice on how to deal with the feeling of being lost and alone in a marriage with someone I just would rather not be around most days. I feel that he's let me down time and time again. I constantly worry over what bills will be paid when they won't. I'm just rambeling now so I'll just end it here. 
Any advice is welcomed


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Do you WANT to be a walk away wife or would you rather work it out? Sounds like you made up your mind. Let me tell you, the grass is not greener on the other side. Take a look inside and see what is making you so angry with your H. Also, consider whether the consequences of walking away are less than staying.


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## Auddi38 (Jul 8, 2012)

Your right maybe I have made up my mind in a manner of speaking.But there are numerous personal reasons as to why. I won't get into details other then to say they are my demons to work out and no one else's business. But the right thing and wrong thing sometimes almost have the same face. Who's to say that leaving is being a "walk" away wife. Perhaps it's more so the right thing for the right person.


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

You alone know your personal situation best. I will tell you that divorcing your spouse most often does not lead to happiness. You have mentioned that there has been infidelity on both parts so yes maybe it is time to pull the plug. 

Walk away wife is the term for wives who, for whatever reason, "walk" away from their marriages. There are walk away husbands but they are more rare. This phenomenon is often caused by years of unresolved resentment or mid life crisis. The woman often "blindsides" her husband with the divorce and there is NOTHING he can say or do to win her back. Her mind is made up and she "walks" away. Hence the term.


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