# Would you marry someone that has child support payments?



## lilbitoluv (Aug 14, 2015)

I was reading another thread and the poster spoke of helping her husband pay child support that he owes for a child from a previous relationship. And it got me to thinking . If you are seriously dating someone, and they have to pay child support, would you consider helping if they had some financial hardship? If you are married to that person, should you contribute also? Is it something that goes without say during a marriage?


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

If you get married to someone who is paying for child support and that person loses his/her job and can't make those payments then as a spouse you should assume you will be paying those payments because when you get married your money should be combined. This would only apply is you are married if you are dating then I think it's a bad idea to pay for a persons child support.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

My partner pays a lot of money in CS, private school fees, travel, medical, entertainment etc for his 2 children. This is his to pay and no I would never contribute as I have my own kids to support. 

The losing a job comment is not valid as in that case the CS would reduce anyway.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I married a guy who had two children ages 10 and 12. I have a son who was 10 at the time. He had full custody of his two children. A couple of years after we married he was laid off and never found another job. So I ended up supporting his children until they graduated from high school. His ex was not required to pay child support.

I did that because I could not throw the kids out with a father and mother who both refused to support their children. Would I do it again. Nope. I'd find a way to not take on that financial burden.


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## Bob Davis (Nov 5, 2014)

EleGirl,

This is an incredible story to me!

How long did this go on, that your husband did not work?

How could he do this...dumping financial responsibility for his kids onto you?

Why didn't the mother contribute to child support?

Are you still married to this man?

I am just so astonished about this situation.

Bob




EleGirl said:


> I married a guy who had two children ages 10 and 12. I have a son who was 10 at the time. He had full custody of his two children. A couple of years after we married he was laid off and never found another job. So I ended up supporting his children until they graduated from high school. His ex was not required to pay child support.
> 
> I did that because I could not throw the kids out with a father and mother who both refused to support their children. Would I do it again. Nope. I'd find a way to not take on that financial burden.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> I was reading another thread and the poster spoke of helping her husband pay child support that he owes for a child from a previous relationship. And it got me to thinking . If you are seriously dating someone, and they have to pay child support, would you consider helping if they had some financial hardship? If you are married to that person, should you contribute also? Is it something that goes without say during a marriage?


I would never pay child support for someone else's children.

My husband and I (2nd marriages) have 5 children between us...he's got 3 and I have 2. His children are his and his ex's financial responsibility and vice versa for my kids.

I also wouldn't get into a relationship with someone that I didn't know had existing money and an ironclad financial plan. I have zero interest in supporting anyone financially and have no expectation of anyone financially taking care of me.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Holland said:


> The losing a job comment is not valid as in that case the CS would reduce anyway.


There is no guarantee job loss, even a layoff or furlough, will cause CS to be dropped in many American states.


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

Depends on how much they have left over.

I pay child support, and I've got plenty left over, it only amounts to about 20% of my take home pay.

Now if someone is paying through the nose and they're struggling financially, I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole.

Also depends on how many payments are remaining.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> There is no guarantee job loss, even a layoff or furlough, will cause CS to be dropped in many American states.


Never heard of furlough so looked it up and it seems it is an American concept. 

In OZ a change in employment/unemployment does impact CS.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Holland said:


> Never heard of furlough so looked it up and it seems it is an American concept.
> 
> In OZ a change in employment/unemployment does impact CS.


I understand, but the OP was from the US and I wanted to clarify from that aspect.


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## HeartbrokenW (Sep 26, 2012)

My ex had a child from a prior relationship. He was self employed. We had joint checking and I basically paid his support for years. His income was always sporadic and unreliable. After our separation/divorce, he's fallen way behind in paying his support. It's the first thing I stopped paying. I guess I looked at it as a marital debt at the time though. We got behind once and they froze our checking acct. I was afraid they would do that again.


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