# Hard time dealing



## Isla Cruces (May 20, 2015)

I know that ill probably be ridiculed for my post or even look crazy, but I honestly am having a hard time. I cant pay for counseling and trust me I have tried. 

My story was a bad story and my relationship of ten years ended in a bad way.. Im struggling trying to hold onto this is my new life now and no longer have my family together.. 

My ex moved out Jan 1st 2015. We argued a lot and I had a hard time excepting that he was gone I cried 24/7 and begged him to work on us together. He done things to hurt me and I stuck through hoping that it was just a rocky patch in a relationship and that we would get through it. 

I always thought we had a different love. I met him when I was in the 8th grade, I had came home from a trip to Texas staying with my Aunt and he was at my house with my sisters guy friend he was his cousin. As soon as I walked through the door we looked at each other and were hooked. He would come down every summer the next few years to see me, he lived in another state. 

We finally made it official my JR year and I moved with him. He ended up moving back to my town with me and we got pregnant at a young age. We had our struggles as young parents and wanting to each hang out with friends and partying. We finally got our crap together and had been happier then ever for years and now he is gone. 

This time last year I thought we were trying. He was taking me out to dinner for mothers day and bought me flowers and a necklace. After all I found out he was talking to another girl. I ended up trying to just let go and move on with my life I started talking to a friend he got a girl friend and started being horrible to me. 

Now its almost a year he is with this girl and im heart broken I still love him like my true love even though he seems as though I was the most awful girlfriend to him in the world. This girl just turned 21 im 28 he is 29. He doesnt care the stress and depression and him making me think things could work out cost me my job and my home. When my son is with me we are struggling and he is living this life buying this girl all kinds of crap bought a car and gave her after he ruined my credit by letting a car go that was in my name and then go get her one. 

And for some stupid reason im heart broken I miss him my love my family we were best friends and really got each other. he was an amazing fiance always done little things like buy me a coffee and bring me and clean on sat let me sleep in spoiled me and now he chooses someone over me. I dont understand how it could go from us getting married to him treating someone else like a queen and im the crap. 

I feel ugly now like hes all sexy and got this hot young girl with bigger boobs and perfect teeth and I have nothing I spent my life devoted to my family being a mother and fiance they always came first. 

I keep hoping that one day we can realize and fix our relationship and be a family again. but I fear all he sees when he sees me is ugly ran down and she isnt. 

I run through everything in my mind and beat myself up that I should have kept waiting and not try to move on and go out to stop hurting. now she has my prince charming, my family, my sons dad.


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

You will not be ridiculed. 

What did he do to hurt you? you said he hurt you.


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## Isla Cruces (May 20, 2015)

He was talking to girls I knew and slept with one to get back at me for me sleeping with another man when we were broke up 8 years ago. I know my story is complicated and we both did things we should not have because of hurting but minus out those two and all our 8 great years I just dont understand how he can be so disconnected to me and hate me as much as he does and not miss me and move on with someone else like she is his soulmate. 

We both always never saw each other being in a relationship with anyone else and were happy planning our wedding. Now things are like this I know I done my wrong but I was a teen things changed.


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## Isla Cruces (May 20, 2015)

I don't know what's wrong with me... Like why can't I accept my relationship is gone there is no us its him and her now and she comes first in his book. I just cant grasp it and move on with my life.


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## Isla Cruces (May 20, 2015)

I know that my situation that I have right now makes it harder for me to be happy and maybe that's partly why I feel the way I do.. Im 28 years old living with my mother now sharing a room with my 9 year old son and have no job searching my ass off and cant seem to get no where.. While all along the person I started out with nothing with and stuck by his side even helped with his high school diploma while I was home pregnant and making sure he always had dinner and not get up with the baby so we could have a good future has all this money now and ive lost every little thing ive gotten in my life and nothing phased him. while come to find out all along my ex boss is bffing him and sends him football tickets him and his girlfriend go to... Makes me wonder why I actually got layed off and kicked out of my home in the first place.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

There's nothing wrong with you. It just takes time and there isn't a rule that dictates how quickly the transition should be. Try to find hobbies/activities that you like doing that will occupy you so you don't spend your time thinking about him. Exercise is a great stress reliever too.


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

Isla Cruces said:


> I know that my situation that I have right now makes it harder for me to be happy and maybe that's partly why I feel the way I do.. Im 28 years old living with my mother now sharing a room with my 9 year old son and have no job searching my ass off and cant seem to get no where.. While all along the person I started out with nothing with and stuck by his side even helped with his high school diploma while I was home pregnant and making sure he always had dinner and not get up with the baby so we could have a good future has all this money now and ive lost every little thing ive gotten in my life and nothing phased him. while come to find out all along my ex boss is bffing him and sends him football tickets him and his girlfriend go to... Makes me wonder why I actually got layed off and kicked out of my home in the first place.


Everything that you are feeling is normal.
Specially since your life doesn't seem to be going too well, you feel as if your ex is getting the milk and honey while you suffer. 
It is normal. Remember things always change. They normally change for the better. Stay strong


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## Isla Cruces (May 20, 2015)

Yes, I have literally tried everything. Im job hunting like crazy, been to the gym, been riding horses. I just want my family back really.


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## Isla Cruces (May 20, 2015)

The worst part is my son too.. He will random tell me he misses doing things with dad, or he misses his old life. I just tell him things will work out for the best. What brings a smile to my face is my son. Even though he goes to his dads every other day and has his own room and he has money to do and buy whatever he wants. He still wants to stay with me. He tells me he will make money from his youtube and put money in my bank so we can have a home. It makes me cry.. I tell him he is the sweetest kid in the WHOLE WORLD but im his mom I will figure it out and make things great again for us.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I have been where you are. I had a harsh reality check when the cheating manipulator chose HER over ME AGAIN, and I came to the realization of just how PATHETIC I was being. This is where you are, the pathetic stage. He isn't worth your time and your distress and he doesn't want you. Harsh but the truth. Even if he DID come back to you, you would be right back here again in a matter of months or years. You are wasting your love, and your youth, on someone unworthy. I finally got to where every time a thought of him (and her) would enter my mind, I would think "STOP!!" If I was alone, I would actually shout it out loud to myself. May sound stupid, but it worked. My mind was my worst enemy, and I am the only one who can control it. Stop focusing on him. Enjoy your son, and find your strength to make your own life. It really is empowering.


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