# Trucker husband rarely calls



## whitelightingstorm (Jul 6, 2012)

My husband is gone for a month at a time. Home for a day or two then gone again! I've found my own life, friends, things to do. I've become VERY close to a few friends. When he is home I prefer to hang out with them instead of spending time with him. I do spend the time with him when he comes home but I would rather not.

When he is gone I rarely hear from him. The only time I get a phone call is when he wants to vent about something that has pissed him off. Then it is my job (I feel) to help him through his rough time and get him to calm down. I also hear from him when he is about ready to come home and I get to hear how tired he is.

I have talked with him about this.  Then he will call a few times a day for about a week then it all stops again. LOL I see his phone bill and he is always on the phone with his brothers and his friends. LOL

He has told me many times he doesn't want to hear about things that are going on at home because he is jealous and wants to be here with me. So he would rather not call to feel this way. But I am very lonely. This is why I went and found my life.

We have been married for 10 years now. We do not have children. My children are now all grown. I work a full time job plus own a small business. Work a ton and then go out with friends.

I've been thinking of going my own way. Why be married to someone I never hear from! I could be single and do this.

I need to vent myself! I need to talk this out!

Thanks so much!!!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

It sounds as though your husband has grown distant with you as well. Perhaps you should both talk about what direction your marriage needs to go. If you mutually agree the marriage should continue, then he needs to find a job where he can be home more. And it really is possible for a truck driver to do that. My brother is an OTR driver and he is in fairly often. He selects his loads so that he can be home (usually) weekly. Fortunately, he calls my SIL nightly at 7 pm and they each discuss their day.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I agree with Aug. Also, call him until it's a habit for you two to talk nightly.


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## whitelightingstorm (Jul 6, 2012)

yes I will set up a daily call time..that sounds like a good idea. Maybe he will get better on the phone! Thanks


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It doesn't sound like much of a marriage with him gone all the time and no phone calls.

Tell him that you miss him...I mean, if he doesn't want to hear about the homelife, why does that mean he can't talk to you?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

whitelightingstorm said:


> I've become VERY close to a few friends. When he is home I prefer to hang out with them instead of spending time with him. I do spend the time with him when he comes home but I would rather not.


I'm kind of surprised that nobody's commented on this. I'm not sure I understand why you expect more frequent phone calls, when you apparently would rather not talk to him when he's actually home, at least when given a choice between talking to him and talking to your friends.

If he makes you a higher priority, are you willing to do the same for him?


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## viggling (Apr 27, 2012)

unless you guys talk then your marrage is just going down the drain .. why worry about it if your not even intrested in seeing him when he is home? change things up maybe go on the road with him for a week or do something to become closer to him


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## whitelightingstorm (Jul 6, 2012)

I am coming back to this forum. Still having problems. I have tried so many things. Date night...he LOVED it! but we could only do one so far cause he just isn't home that much. He does come home every week - every other week. But he still doesn't call. When he does call all he talks about is his truck. lol He doesn't want to hear what is going on at home cause he gets jealous or he will try and solve my problems and teach me something. So basically we do not have much to talk about. 

I am just very very sad now. Not sure this will last much longer


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## yours4ever (Mar 14, 2013)

HM, I humbly think that you should just call him and start talking whenever you feel like it,instead of waiting for him. You can share good stuff but remember to tell him you are able to enjoy these good things at home because of him working his ass off. Say that you miss him and wish he is there with you.

Try trusting him by calling him and do most of the talking. Then end the conversation with appreciation. He is a man,not a woman. I think men usually talk less than women and usually they don't see a need to share everything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_

Or, let's be penpal, I don't have many friends anyway and am a stay at home mom.


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## plasmasunn (Apr 3, 2013)

Oh man, the life of a trucker's wife is hard, isn't it? My dad's been a driver since I was a baby, but he managed to stay local till his company went belly up about 8 years ago. He's now out all week and home on weekends, but he and my mom talk every night. It's how they communicate, check in and it's just a part of their routine. 

I agree that you should just feel free to call him more...but my question to you: Why do you want to stay? Why do you want to leave? I mean, it sounds like you really have created your own life and it's going swimmingly, what does your husband bring into the mix?


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

plasmasunn said:


> what does your husband bring into the mix?


That's the million dollar question!!


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## whitelightingstorm (Jul 6, 2012)

My husband finally called me. Guess he was out of the service area and couldn't use his phone for several days. Very frustrating for me! I know he is trying the best HE can do. This is a very hard life having a husband as a truck driver!


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