# 180 when spouse is involved



## theexpendable (May 9, 2013)

So does the 180 work when your spouse is involved with another man or woman? Seems like it would be more beneficial if they didn't have an AP when you separate. Reason I ask is that I'm thinking about asking my STBXW over to help me put together a toy for our son. It's like part of me thinks showing spending some time with her and showing her I'm in control of my life and have my stuff together would help. Also, maybe it would piss the OM off that she is actually spending time with me. I've been doing the 180 for 3 weeks now that we've been separated but doesn't seem to have any effect. I will need things to be smooth between us when deal with custody one day anyways. Any ideas guys or am I playing with fire?


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Yes you are. Another reason for 180 is self preservation. It gives you time to begin to heal yourself. Im seperated six months and wouldn't even think of doing something like that with stbxh. Too much contact. Three weeks is not a long time - I can tell you that. I couldn't even speak to mine at that point. Shes still in the fog so shes not going to notice your 180. I know people on these boards have other ideas on breaking up the affair if that is what you want to do. They talk about exposing the affair. I did not do that immediately it has sort of gradually happened over time as I run into people & situations. Maybe someone else can give you advice on what to do.


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