# Do you teach your children about race?



## RandomDude

Another discussion made me curious about other thoughts on this... do you teach your children about race? And if you do, what do you teach them? And if you don't, do you believe they can truly go through western society and not learn what it's about?

I taught my daughter about race, of all her heritages, I also teach her about society's attitudes on race, and what folks believe, and when she should stick up the finger. I believe it's important and isn't it my job to prepare her?


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## jorgegene

sadly, it seems necessary to teach your children about race like you say at some point, because sooner or later their innocence will be
tested or broken by someone, something, or even the news. you might as well be the one to explain before someone else does so with malice.

but i would explain that it's totally bogus and a man made thing. animals don't group by their colors, stripes or patterns, only by their species. (rightly so).
children don't befriend in the beginning by their colors. it's only later that they learn about this artificial, somewhat meaningless thing called 'race'.


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## RandomDude

Hmmm... not sure about bogus, since ya all inferior to me! 

Heh on a serious note though, I've heard arguments before that "colorblindness" is preferable, folks say if society is to progress, we must be blind to race. That teaching children about race makes them racist etc.


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## msrv23

IMO to overcome discrimination we can’t live in denial but rather be aware of them to understand and go above.

Besides, as you guys said sooner or later they’d come into contact with it anyways. Or worse, they accidentally said something that can be perceived as bad without knowing.


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## EANx

I always taught my daughter to base her opinions on what she observed, not what others told her. Living outside western society, she came to her own conclusions about different cultures and ended up with a wide selection of friends. She also developed a dislike of people from one particular culture but it was hard to argue with her logic. She's currently dating a decent guy from a different culture.


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## Cletus

Since there really is no such thing, it never came up as a topic requiring education. Except when someone acted overtly racist. I'm just glad my children didn't grow up during the last election cycle. I don't think I would have had time for all the "home schooling" required.


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## Diana7

I was bought up in a mixed race area and many of my friends were black or Indian. I didn't specifically teach my children about race, but they saw me treat people with respect and kindness no matter who they are and they do the same. I think its more about what you do and how you act rather than what you say. 
Also they have family members from different cultures, their step dad is Australian, they have an aunt from Germany and my step sons wife is Argentinian.


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## ConanHub

I taught my boys there is one human race we all belong to.

I also taught them you can't help it that huge numbers of people have the mental fortitude of a stale turd and perceptions that are often superceded by carrots.

My family is quite mixed ethnically.


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## Thor

We barely mentioned race, if at all. We taught our kids to respect every individual. We taught them they are no better and no worse than anyone else. We taught them to judge others based on their individual actions. Since race is not an issue to me or their mother, they weren't brought up to recognize race or to look at the world through race colored lenses.


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## RandomDude

Thor said:


> We barely mentioned race, if at all. We taught our kids to respect every individual. We taught them they are no better and no worse than anyone else. We taught them to judge others based on their individual actions. Since race is not an issue to me or their mother, they weren't brought up to recognize race or to look at the world through race colored lenses.


Interesting, I guess I have a different outlook because of my own personal experience growing up. My parents never taught me race, it's not in our culture as well in Eurasia where everyone is a mutt. There is tribalism, but it's practically impossible for us to hate based on the 'color categories' of western nations, even though nowadays the influence is spreading in the motherland thanks to the fall of the USSR, a big facepalm! 

But anyway, as a result I never understood racism and was never taught it, and only knew how to respond with violence, being expelled from multiple schools because I refused to assimilate and hate myself. Parents never understood and never taught me, only that violence was indeed the solution by whacking me for being expelled forcing us to move.

That's why I teach my daughter the racial climate of my country as well as the racial climate of her motherland, and how to deal with it intelligently, putting racists in their place, preserving personal pride while still preserving our traditional colorblind cultural values. She also has a grandmother on ex's side who can be rather self-hating, which makes it imperative for me to ensure my daughter is knowledgeable about the subject and why it is the way it is in western society.

I do the same thing in regards to the patriachial expectations of women in society. I started teaching her very young so the foundation of her understanding of the world is based on what I teach her, rather than what the world teaches her. Preemptive education, so to speak. Now as she nears her teens, she already has a huge multicultural social network both in school and ex's church, holds her head always high, unafraid to ridicule racists (and dumbasses) and I'm very proud of her. She's a natural leader and very social/outgoing (ex's influence) and unfortunately some teachers/parents tell me that she abuses the weight she carries with the other kids but in all my personal investigations some kids are just crybabies and some people just stupid lol


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## Adelais

My children know that there is one race, all descended from Noah's DNA through his three sons and their wives.

Color, facial, and body structure are just phenotypes of one race, the Human Race.

Culture and religion are what make people act and think differently, and how one acts determines who they are.

However, since many people live in segregated groups, sharing their culture, religion, socioeconomics, and color, one can make fairly accurate generalizations with a smallish margin of error, when predicting a specific cultural group's behavior.


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## Machjo

RandomDude said:


> Another discussion made me curious about other thoughts on this... do you teach your children about race? And if you do, what do you teach them? And if you don't, do you believe they can truly go through western society and not learn what it's about?
> 
> I taught my daughter about race, of all her heritages, I also teach her about society's attitudes on race, and what folks believe, and when she should stick up the finger. I believe it's important and isn't it my job to prepare her?


We don't have children yet; but my dad is British, my mother French Canadian. I speak English, French, Standard Chinese, and Esperanto. My wife speaks Standard Chinese, Cantonese, and Japanese. We'll be moving to a mostly Chinese-speaking neighbourhood of Toronto in the next year. With that, I don't think I'll make a conscious point about teaching my child about race but would address it as the matter arises. In our context, I think inter-racial harmony will be the norm just by circumstance.


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## RandomDude

Edit (Double Post)


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## RandomDude

Araucaria said:


> My children know that there is one race, all descended from Noah's DNA through his three sons and their wives.
> 
> Color, facial, and body structure are just phenotypes of one race, the Human Race.
> 
> Culture and religion are what make people act and think differently, and how one acts determines who they are.
> 
> However, since many people live in segregated groups, sharing their culture, religion, socioeconomics, and color, one can make fairly accurate generalizations with a smallish margin of error, when predicting a specific cultural group's behavior.


It's unfortunate but from what I've seen, some people need the segregation to survive with their dignity intact. My ex-mother-in-law could have done with spending more time with her own people so she wouldn't be so self-hating that I have to use her as a example for my daughter how not to be like. My daughter coming from four primary ethnicities can not segregate however, instead, she's simply, multicultural.


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## RandomDude

Machjo said:


> We don't have children yet; but my dad is British, my mother French Canadian. I speak English, French, Standard Chinese, and Esperanto. My wife speaks Standard Chinese, Cantonese, and Japanese. We'll be moving to a moving to a mostly Chinese-speaking neighbourhood of Toronto in the next year. With that, I don't think I'll make a conscious point about teaching my child about race but would address it as the matter arises. In our context, I think inter-racial harmony will be the norm just by circumstance.


You're in Canada, from what I've heard the racial climate there is quite calm. If that is true, education in regards to racism will be like a lesson about aliens, your kids may never see it lol. In my country, it was inevitable but my daughter was ready for it.


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## just got it 55

Here is what I tought my children as my Motehr tought me

The words **** ...Suck...****...****...*****...Prick are not swares

They mean nothing

However The words

******...*****...Guinny...****
are words that really hurt people

ETA: these words listed are not redacted they were not meant in any way to be harmful

Please understand my intent

55


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## Machjo

RandomDude said:


> You're in Canada, from what I've heard the racial climate there is quite calm. If that is true, education in regards to racism will be like a lesson about aliens, your kids may never see it lol. In my country, it was inevitable but my daughter was ready for it.


Canada suffers racism too; but in Canada, it goes in every direction including stereotyping whites as racist ironically.

I'm sure it will come up sooner or later; but until it comes up, yeah, it would be like talking about aliens.


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## RandomDude

Machjo said:


> Canada suffers racism too; but in Canada, it goes in every direction including stereotyping whites as racist ironically.
> 
> I'm sure it will come up sooner or later; but until it comes up, yeah, it would be like talking about aliens.


True, it's everywhere, but I heard it's generally better. I don't think there ever is a 100% racialist-free country. But I met several people from there who spoke of their experiences highly, and I can see from their attitudes they are quite happy of who they are, unlike some minorities I noticed in the U.S. or where I live.

Quite a few stereotypes are natural I found, and based on some aspect of truth, though exaggerated. For me, racist whites are much less in multi-cultural centers within the Anglosphere, where my daughter is growing up, yet when she was very young we lived in a less multi-cultural zone when once a few whites drove past yelling racist comments and threw a beer bottle at us shattering the glass at my wife and daughter. Thankfully they were not injured. She was still too young and we just used "bad people" until later when I told her why that happened. She learnt of it before she was even capable of understanding it unfortunately and remembered it very well until she was old enough for us to explain it.

I believe racists need to be put in their place, in my youth I was off the grid so I simply used violence without consequences - unless in the above scenario where I just lost my cool. Nowadays though as I legitimised I simply ridicule them for their stupidity and so-called 'supremism' and taunt them, which my daughter does the same. I taught her how to deal with different people, and to be picky with her social circle. She did one step up, surprisingly, and began to lead them. Her social circles are multiracial but also among the largest in her schools and church. I really don't know how she can manage them all. Millenials are our future it seems.

Heh reminds me too, I don't know why some teachers and parents think she's a trouble-maker and a bully herself. She stands up for kids being bullied and that includes bullies playing crybaby to get the teachers on their side so she would get in trouble like the last time *sigh* But daddy's got her back when she's in the right.


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## Rhubarb

Just as a side note, I live overseas and my step-son sometimes sometimes uses the N word but not really in a pejorative manner. When I tell him he can't say it, especially in the US, hey says "why, I watch videos and they say it all to times to each other". Then I tell him you can only say it if your black and that makes no sense to him. In general I agree It makes no sense but since I grew up in the US, at least I know the rule.

One thing I've noticed is the USA is hyper-sensitized about race, much more so than a lot of other countries. The anti-racism policy at schools here is almost nonchalant. You might get some negative points and stuff if you say the wrong thing but it doesn't carry a huge stigma like it does in the USA. It's almost the same as not doing your homework or some such. Unfortunately in the USA race based slavery was a fact of life for many years and as a result we are left with it's legacy.


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## Herschel

Of course. We sing “It’s good to be a white American” every day.


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## RandomDude

Rhubarb said:


> Just as a side note, I live overseas and my step-son sometimes sometimes uses the N word but not really in a pejorative manner. When I tell him he can't say it, especially in the US, hey says "why, I watch videos and they say it all to times to each other". Then I tell him you can only say it if your black and that makes no sense to him. In general I agree It makes no sense but since I grew up in the US, at least I know the rule.


Ahahahaha reminds me of Rush Hour, Chris Tucker says to Jackie Chan "Just do what I do", and greets his fella blacks "Whats up my *****", so Jackie Chan does the same thing... and this happens!






:rofl: Ah, a classic!



> One thing I've noticed is the USA is hyper-sensitized about race, much more so than a lot of other countries. The anti-racism policy at schools here is almost nonchalant. You might get some negative points and stuff if you say the wrong thing but it doesn't carry a huge stigma like it does in the USA. It's almost the same as not doing your homework or some such. Unfortunately in the USA race based slavery was a fact of life for many years and as a result we are left with it's legacy.


Yes, the colonial legacies of slavery, scientific racism and yellow peril. It's still so strong though, like heck, I think the US tries to deal with it but from what I've seen it's imbeded into the culture and history. Some of the elderly among my family had quite a different experience in the USSR which makes me wonder about the propaganda posters during that era, where capitalism in the U.S. had blacks being lynched and where socialism was a colorblind state with all races in harmony. It's dismissed as propaganda nowadays, but makes me wonder of the truth of it. 

I was raised with a romantised vision of the motherland but now in modern times I see some embarrassments wanna be pure, white and/or supremist just like many in the West. A well-travelled friend mentioned that since the fall of the USSR many people had lost a lot of pride, their whole society failed for the world to see, and the only thing left for them was that they were white and European, and they scraped for pride finding it in fascism, nationalism and/or racialism. For a state where one can be a Tatar yet look completely white, it's an aberration for me, and from what I've heard it came only after the disintegration of the USSR.

Pathetic really, and then I see idiots trying to appease these racists. You don't. Education aside, I teach my daughter not to tolerate it, and that they are fair game for humiliation.


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## Machjo

RandomDude said:


> True, it's everywhere, but I heard it's generally better. I don't think there ever is a 100% racialist-free country. But I met several people from there who spoke of their experiences highly, and I can see from their attitudes they are quite happy of who they are, unlike some minorities I noticed in the U.S. or where I live.
> 
> Quite a few stereotypes are natural I found, and based on some aspect of truth, though exaggerated. For me, racist whites are much less in multi-cultural centers within the Anglosphere, where my daughter is growing up, yet when she was very young we lived in a less multi-cultural zone when once a few whites drove past yelling racist comments and threw a beer bottle at us shattering the glass at my wife and daughter. Thankfully they were not injured. She was still too young and we just used "bad people" until later when I told her why that happened. She learnt of it before she was even capable of understanding it unfortunately and remembered it very well until she was old enough for us to explain it.
> 
> I believe racists need to be put in their place, in my youth I was off the grid so I simply used violence without consequences - unless in the above scenario where I just lost my cool. Nowadays though as I legitimised I simply ridicule them for their stupidity and so-called 'supremism' and taunt them, which my daughter does the same. I taught her how to deal with different people, and to be picky with her social circle. She did one step up, surprisingly, and began to lead them. Her social circles are multiracial but also among the largest in her schools and church. I really don't know how she can manage them all. Millenials are our future it seems.
> 
> Heh reminds me too, I don't know why some teachers and parents think she's a trouble-maker and a bully herself. She stands up for kids being bullied and that includes bullies playing crybaby to get the teachers on their side so she would get in trouble like the last time *sigh* But daddy's got her back when she's in the right.


I think in Canada, distinction on the basis of language or religion probably plays a greater role than on the basis of race. I've not had anyone comment on my present wife's race yet, but some have criticized me for addressing her in Chinese in public even though I'm white.

the Separate Protestant and Catholic school systems are often a contentious matter of debate in Ontario elections too since they're entrenched in the Constitution. Official bilingualism (in English and French) also tends to shut indigenous and other Canadians out of federal government employment.

I could be wrong, but I think discrimination is based more on race in the US and more on language or religion in Canada.

That said, racial discrimination in police profiling, employment offers, and rental accommodation does target race too, I think especially blacks and indigenous Canadians but Asians and others too.


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## LeananSidhe

My kids are still pretty young (9, 7, and 2). We originally didn’t say anything about race. Not really on purpose but the kids never asked so we never really talked about it.
Then one day we were driving through another city and we were kind of lost. We drove down a side street and passed a playground with some black children playing. Our daughter (who was 3 at the time) asked if we could stop and play and our son (who was 5) said “No, we can’t play there because there’s brown skin people and we don’t like brown skin people.” My husband and I were appalled. We pulled over on the side of the road and calmly asked him why he thought that. He said it was because we didn’t have any brown skin friends so he just thought we didn’t like them.  (We live in a very small, very white town.)

So after that we realized that we needed to have these conversations with our kids. It was easier once they started school.


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## EllisRedding

Thor said:


> We barely mentioned race, if at all. We taught our kids to respect every individual. We taught them they are no better and no worse than anyone else. We taught them to judge others based on their individual actions. Since race is not an issue to me or their mother, they weren't brought up to recognize race or to look at the world through race colored lenses.


Pretty much my thoughts as well. My W and I teach our kids to treat everyone as an individual and with respect (assuming they have not done anything to lose that respect). Treat people how you want to be treated.


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## 269370

What is ‘race’? Is that something to do with betting/gambling? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## 269370

LeananSidhe said:


> My kids are still pretty young (9, 7, and 2). We originally didn’t say anything about race. Not really on purpose but the kids never asked so we never really talked about it.
> Then one day we were driving through another city and we were kind of lost. We drove down a side street and passed a playground with some black children playing. Our daughter (who was 3 at the time) asked if we could stop and play and our son (who was 5) said “No, we can’t play there because there’s brown skin people and we don’t like brown skin people.” My husband and I were appalled. We pulled over on the side of the road and calmly asked him why he thought that. He said it was because we didn’t have any brown skin friends so he just thought we didn’t like them.  (We live in a very small, very white town.)
> 
> So after that we realized that we needed to have these conversations with our kids. It was easier once they started school.



More immortally: did you sort out your friends circle? 
It’s sometimes crazy what kids can blurt out. There’s no filter and no inhibition, which is kind of adorable. I hope these discussions will be completely redundant for the next generation.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## RandomDude

Machjo said:


> I think in Canada, distinction on the basis of language or religion probably plays a greater role than on the basis of race. I've not had anyone comment on my present wife's race yet, but some have criticized me for addressing her in Chinese in public even though I'm white.
> 
> the Separate Protestant and Catholic school systems are often a contentious matter of debate in Ontario elections too since they're entrenched in the Constitution. Official bilingualism (in English and French) also tends to shut indigenous and other Canadians out of federal government employment.
> 
> I could be wrong, but I think discrimination is based more on race in the US and more on language or religion in Canada.
> 
> That said, racial discrimination in police profiling, employment offers, and rental accommodation does target race too, I think especially blacks and indigenous Canadians but Asians and others too.


Chinese is a very difficult language to learn, English even harder. To be able to speak both is a feat. Right now that is the two most important languages to learn. I am appalled by idiots who think speaking Chinese is a bad thing, it's all yellow peril BS that is still imbeded in western culture. In my country I normally make fun of them by ridiculing their monolingualism (They only speak English), straight out stupidity is easy, if people in Canada are already bilingual though, darn it lol - would have to call it out as racism which isn't as fun as stupidity.

Still remember in school they taught two languages which aren't as useful as Chinese; French and Japanese, both historical colonial powers. I learnt abit of Japanese, not conversational though, still remember the teacher took a katana to school haha to show us Japanese culture, gotta admit I found it cooler than French haha. Nowadays with the rise of China, I only wish I could learn Chinese, it's on my todo list. I took some lessons but it's very difficult.



LeananSidhe said:


> My kids are still pretty young (9, 7, and 2). We originally didn’t say anything about race. Not really on purpose but the kids never asked so we never really talked about it.
> Then one day we were driving through another city and we were kind of lost. We drove down a side street and passed a playground with some black children playing. Our daughter (who was 3 at the time) asked if we could stop and play and our son (who was 5) said “No, we can’t play there because there’s brown skin people and we don’t like brown skin people.” My husband and I were appalled. We pulled over on the side of the road and calmly asked him why he thought that. He said it was because we didn’t have any brown skin friends so he just thought we didn’t like them.  (We live in a very small, very white town.)
> 
> So after that we realized that we needed to have these conversations with our kids. It was easier once they started school.


Whao... heh scary how much kids look up to us for examples isn't it?


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## Machjo

As I think about it, I'm not sure how I'd teach my child about race, mainly because I can't even understand its relevance to anything myself.

That said, I'll probably teach him Esperanto at least in addition to our primary languages to promote more acceptance of people who speak different languages. I'll probably read them or have them read passages from the sacred texts of the world's great religions on different subjects to counter religious prejudice too.

But again, as for racial prejudice, I really don't know how I'd teach about that.


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## RandomDude

Machjo said:


> As I think about it, I'm not sure how I'd teach my child about race, mainly because I can't even understand its relevance to anything myself.
> 
> That said, I'll probably teach him Esperanto at least in addition to our primary languages to promote more acceptance of people who speak different languages. I'll probably read them or have them read passages from the sacred texts of the world's great religions on different subjects to counter religious prejudice too.
> 
> But again, as for racial prejudice, I really don't know how I'd teach about that.


Depends on the kid, I don't think one parental solution is universal.

For my daughter she began questioning at an early age due to what occurred, ex and I didn't know how to even begin. Like, we got used to stares but it was quite unexpected any violence would occur especially in front of our kid. We simply left it as "bad people". Daughter bought it at first but I knew with the racial climate it was going to be a matter of time before more questions are there. For me I began indirectly, simply teaching her about her ancestries, our cultures, our history. Similar to what you are proposing with religion. 

Ex and I frequently disagreed as I also instilled racial pride in her which some may say is a dangerous thing to do, ex for example, as she has zero racial identity. However, I think the result was our daughter taking the best of both worlds; she had pride of where she came from, but it's not who she is. For ex's part, she was always outgoing and taking our daughter out wherever she went, so she was exposed to people from many different backgrounds at an early age. Her social circle started growing from there which seems to carrying on.


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## Machjo

RandomDude said:


> Depends on the kid, I don't think one parental solution is universal.
> 
> For my daughter she began questioning at an early age due to what occurred, ex and I didn't know how to even begin. Like, we got used to stares but it was quite unexpected any violence would occur especially in front of our kid. We simply left it as "bad people". Daughter bought it at first but I knew with the racial climate it was going to be a matter of time before more questions are there. For me I began indirectly, simply teaching her about her ancestries, our cultures, our history. Similar to what you are proposing with religion.
> 
> Ex and I frequently disagreed as I also instilled racial pride in her which some may say is a dangerous thing to do, ex for example, as she has zero racial identity. However, I think the result was our daughter taking the best of both worlds; she had pride of where she came from, but it's not who she is. For ex's part, she was always outgoing and taking our daughter out wherever she went, so she was exposed to people from many different backgrounds at an early age. Her social circle started growing from there which seems to carrying on.


The strange way I became more open was watching the irony of my parents. My father is British but tends to dislike French Canadians unless he gets to know them. My mother is French Canadian and tends to dislike English Canadians unless she gets to know them.My parents accept my wife but dislike Chinese people otherwise. Being raised in a bilingual family with parents who disliked one another's ethnicity helped me to see the foolishness of prejudice. I would strongly dis-recommend this as a way to teach respect for other cultures though, since it comes with its own problems: it made me somewhat rebellious and hostile towards my own ethnicity for many years before I could learn to accept them.


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## RandomDude

Machjo said:


> The strange way I became more open was watching the irony of my parents. My father is British but tends to dislike French Canadians unless he gets to know them. My mother if French Canadian and tends to dislike English Canadians unless she gets to know them.My parents accept my wife but dislike Chinese people otherwise. Being raised in a bilingual family with parents who disliked one another's ethnicity helped me to see the foolishness of prejudice. I would strongly dis-recommend this as a way to teach respect for other cultures though, since it comes with its own problems: it made me somewhat rebellious and hostile towards my own ethnicity for many years before I could learn to accept them.


Yeah, it may also inspire kids to not take the bad examples, but see those examples as good, where they follow after their parent's prejudice.

That's one thing I'm worried about, as I can be quite racist at times too.


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## Machjo

I was trying to edit a previous post. Please ignore this post.


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