# So lost...need another set of ears please!



## AnewBeginning (Dec 27, 2011)

If you haven't read my "trouble with in-laws" post...here is a little backgroud. H and I are currently separated, H is very emotionally and verbally abusive, and has pushed me 2x in the last several months. I believe he is using pills....he is denying it and says he doesn't talk to these people anymore but the phone records say otherwise. His mom is extremely enabling and has always covered up (some pretty serious) wrong doings no matter what. Never made him pay for his actions. He wants to get back to gether and work on things. We've been going to counseling together and he was at the Dr's to get on depression meds. For a couple weeks I was getting really excited because he was admitting his faults and acting wonderful. Now I think he is getting tired of trying and it isn't worth his time anymore. He even said that he was tired of kissing my a**. I hate when people do that to me,all I ask is for some respect and not to be belittled or walked all over.
I found out today from a mutual friend, that THE NIGHT...just hours after I said that I wanted to seperate...he was talking to my friends little cousin (early 20's...young) and they exchanged numbers and he had been calling her a lot...meanwhile while he was supposedly broken hearted and trying to get me back. He is continuing to talk to these people that I hate...that are bad news and I've asked him to stop...especially since we have a 2yr old son...I don't want him anywhere near that stuff!! 
I guess I just want another set of eyes/ears to tell me what this sounds like. I'm beginning to think that this is a waste of my time, he isn't going to change. he did...for about 2 weeks. Then he completely let his family run over me and he didn't say a word about it on Christmas. He will never have my back...obviously. What do I do??? Should I just let go???


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

It doesn't sound like a good situation. Do you want to be back together with him? He needs to change his abusive ways if you are going to stay together.


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## turquoise sparkle (Dec 30, 2011)

Just from reading this, it seems like backing off for a while might give you time and space to decide what you want, and to gather some strength. Regardless of anything else I think it is important you set yourself some firm boundaries about the kind of behaviour you will and won't tolerate.


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## AnewBeginning (Dec 27, 2011)

At this point I don't know if I want to go back with him. I think ever since I had my son I feel like I want different things in my life. I want to have a family lifestyle. One with love and respect, not hatred and abusive actions. He just isn't that type, nor do I think he ever will be. I am so torn, but I will have to give him an ultimatum and see where it goes. I don't think he wants to change his ways, for anyone. We will see...


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## insomnia255 (Dec 4, 2011)

i agree with turquoise sparkle. You need to be firm from what i can read from your previous post etc is that your very confused and torn. You do need to set boundaries and think things through very carefully and may even need like a week or so of going dark so you can get yourself together. 

Your emotional state at the moment is confused and hurt and all the other things mixed up in a ****tail. You need to to think and make a decision and yes give him an ultimatum and see where it goes


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