# So I TOOK MY HUSBAND FOR A DRIVE TONIGHT



## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

So, I'm trying to be more spontaneous and into him and we go for a drive. I want to give him a bj and he's non responsive. Ok, this is not something we have done throughout our twenty year marriage but I did warn him that I want to please him and will do anything I have to do to prove this to him...Well, it didn't go so well. We got in the vehicle and went for a drive but he was not responsive at all. I felt like a fool. I so much want to please my husband but I end up feeling like a tramp... Yes, well, maybe I wanted to be tramp with my husband....is this so wrong


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I say great Idea,is he a conservative guy or does unresponsive mean no hard on ? because I say more power to you and go for it,the majority of guys including myself would love that.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

He just seemed uninterested.. I`m trying so hard to bring some new things into our marriage. I take good care of myself and yet I feel like an ogre. what to do.So, what would you do.....


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

You know, men always seem to expect certain things and then when they get it, it`s like they don`t know what to do with it. Really, I`m all about the here and now so what, what do i need to do...so at a loss....


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

Unless he is one of those low sex drive guys you just need to keep going.Have you ever asked him what he would like Sexually ?How about getting a paper tearing it into strips and having him put down something he wants to try every week,you can have him fold up his ideas if he is a shy guy and put them in a hat and you draw so he will never know which one is coming.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Well, get this. He has now told me how he would like it if I would wake him up with my breasts in his face. Wow, I was taken aback because i have never head this before....always heard how tired he is with the hours he works so....ok... here i go and guess what.....rejected so wtf....


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

You are doing your part for the marriage,so he is just being an ass if he says he wants one thing then rejects you.


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## NeverEnuff (Jan 2, 2013)

Cut to the chase. Just ask him why he keeps rejecting you in spite of your repeated efforts to please him. Put sex aside for the moment and try instead to have a serious talk with him about it.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

You have to keep trying, various things to get his attention. What if he's watching TV and you sit down by him and start masturbating. See if that gets his attention. Does he chat online? What if you chatted him?


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

ankh said:


> You have to keep trying, various things to get his attention. What if he's watching TV and you sit down by him and start masturbating. See if that gets his attention. Does he chat online? What if you chatted him?


You get HUGE points for being bold and trying this. Did he just push you away, or did he not get aroused? Did you do this while he was driving or while parked? Just trying to understand his thinking or lack of thinking.

This was SO awesome of you to initiate this....but DO NOT GIVE UP and stop now. I agree with ankh....keep trying. It will likely make him start to think differently or he will see you in a more sexual way. Either way, both of these are good. 

You reminded me of a similar thing my wife did...we were driving on a long highway from Phoenix to California...middle of a hot August day...and she slipped off her sandels and put her bare feet up on the dashboard. She knew this would get my juices flowing. About 15 minutes later, she hiked up her sundress, peeled off her panties and hung them on the rear view mirror.....all while I was driving 75 miles an hour. She had her sunglasses on and a smile. She never even said a word! She just kept smiling.

This was such an awesome, unexpected surprise. The ball was now in my court....I could just look at her teasing me, or I could find a place to pull over and deal with my raging desires, and "take her". I found a place quickly.....and we never forget that day. (happened over 9 years ago) 

Please keep trying to do spontaneous things like this for your husband. This is the stuff you will remember when you are 80 years old!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Your husband is being a jerk.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

And tomorrow he'll tell you it's because you don't dress sexy enough, the next he'll say it's because you need to lose 10 pounds, it will always be something with him and none of it will be the truth.

The longer he can keep you distracted from the truth the longer he can avoid facing it.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Ok,I think I get it. We're both turning 42 so maybe age has something to do with it. I'm going to try to talk with him tonight and see if something is going on that I'm not aware of.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My husband is 47 and he would NEVER EVER turn down a bj. Ever.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

You didn't do anything wrong and the vast majority of guys would say that is awesome.

If my wife gave me a spontaneous BJ while I was driving, that would blow my mind. Never happened though.

His age has nothing to do with it. A BJ from a hot woman while driving in the car is a fantasy come true.

Have him take a natural testosterone booster. Works wonders for me and drives my wife crazy.....heh.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

popcorn said:


> Ok,I think I get it. We're both turning 42 so maybe age has something to do with it. I'm going to try to talk with him tonight and see if something is going on that I'm not aware of.


This isn't an age thing. H and I are both I our early 40s and the sex is better than ever.
Just ask him what his problem is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

If what you're doing doesn't pop his corn I don't know what would.


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

Sounds like hoop-jumping to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

WOW

Epic Fail on his part!

I could NEVER see myself turning something like this down

Alas, it doesn't hapen in my marriage so I guess I'll never know!


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## aardvark2 (Dec 22, 2012)

popcorn said:


> So, I'm trying to be more spontaneous and into him and we go for a drive. I want to give him a bj and he's non responsive. Ok, this is not something we have done throughout our twenty year marriage but I did warn him that I want to please him and will do anything I have to do to prove this to him...Well, it didn't go so well. We got in the vehicle and went for a drive but he was not responsive at all. I felt like a fool. I so much want to please my husband but I end up feeling like a tramp... Yes, well, maybe I wanted to be tramp with my husband....is this so wrong


Any chance he's ever read The World According to Garp?


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Toffer said:


> WOW
> 
> Epic Fail on his part!
> 
> ...


Funny......My son says "Epic Fail" all the time.


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

popcorn said:


> So, I'm trying to be more spontaneous and into him and we go for a drive. I want to give him a bj and he's non responsive. Ok, this is not something we have done throughout our twenty year marriage but I did warn him that I want to please him and will do anything I have to do to prove this to him...Well, it didn't go so well. We got in the vehicle and went for a drive but he was not responsive at all. I felt like a fool. I so much want to please my husband but I end up feeling like a tramp... Yes, well, maybe I wanted to be tramp with my husband....is this so wrong


I read this post earlier but wasn't able to repond. But, I think I will fall in line with everyone else. You sound like an awesome wife. That type of spontinaiety is the stuff to keep sex lives alive and make marriages successful. The question is what is his problem? I can think of 2 things that have both been touched on. Either he is pulling some kind of emotional power play or he has some type of medical / psychological issue he is refusing to deal with that is contributing to low sex drive. If I were you I would pursue the medical aspect first before accusing him of the controlling type behavior. As for the 'well, he's 42' thing, if that is true, go back to the medical issue again. I'm 48 and hornier than I was when I was 28. Good luck.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

My h wouldn't like that. He's not conservative sexually but he wouldn't like combining sex with driving. I've tried touching him with my hand while he's driving and he just doesn't like it. Not everyone is the same. Personally I think a driving BJ is dangerous. 
Anyone see the movie "parenthood"? Lol

So what is the history here? Who wants it more, how often do you have sex, what is the context?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jd08 (Nov 20, 2012)

I'd go crazy if my wife tried that. I guess I can dream.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

I have one word: Zipper. Jeans with zippers are torture. I told my wife if she was going to tease me in the car, I was going to get some Levis 501 with button fly. BTW I speak from experience with a randy GF who was half Italian and half Hungarian and all Jersey girl. Sex was great. Ducking plates and other thrown objects was not so good.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

This is an arousing thread; there are likely many things that are UP.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

I really want opinions and I am quite serious but you guys are making me laugh. Seriously though, thanks for the opinions and insights.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

laughter is part of the medicine, popcorn! What do we seem to be missing out what are we not responding to? what do you want to hear about? I have read several good responses so far.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Not missing anything. All very good responses. Feels really good to let things out for once without having to be all shy about it.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I can't explain why your husband is responding the way he is. If he happened to feel a BJ while driving was dangerous he should have at least been appreciative of the effort and pulled over in a secluded spot. He sounds like a hard guy to please.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Maybe he's just tired of me. We've been married twenty years this year and he could be tired of seeing the same face every day. I on the other hand love him more today than I did ten years ago. I appreciate him so much and I would do just about anything to make him happy but if this continues there will come a day when he's going to be s.o.l.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

That's sad popcorn. Have you said exactly that to him? I think you should. 

You come across as a woman that many men would be tickled pink to be with. If not him than perhaps you should consider moving on. 

My thoughts are he's probably the one for you...he's just taking you for granted after all these years. He needs a wakeup call to appreciate what he risks losing.


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

Twenty years and trying to pull something like this now? Popcorn, I've changed my opinion of you completely. You are not the awesome wife I said you were in an earlier post. You are a Mag-F'n'-nificent wife!! Hopefully, your husband will see the dumb-assery of his ways and get this thing straightened out. Feel free to show him this post. Good luck.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

PM me your husband's cell phone number. I need to have a talk with that knucklehead before he effs up his entire life.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

You want to hear something that I think is really f'd up? I asked him if he had any new year's resolutions and his answer was to have more sex! Say what?????


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

popcorn said:


> You want to hear something that I think is really f'd up? I asked him if he had any new year's resolutions and his answer was to have more sex! Say what?????


Ask him how he plans on achieving that...how does that transition happen?


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Yes I will ask him......I'll come to bed tonight in my heels and see what happens.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

popcorn said:


> Maybe he's just tired of me. We've been married twenty years this year and he could be tired of seeing the same face every day. I on the other hand love him more today than I did ten years ago. I appreciate him so much and I would do just about anything to make him happy but if this continues there will come a day when he's going to be s.o.l.


I know what you mean. I feel the same about my wife and we've been married 27 years!

I often feel that her LD is a direct reflection on how she feels about me. I know that's wrong but after a while that's what happens


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

I really hope that's not the case Toffer. I would think she doesn't like herself and it's not you at all.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

popcorn said:


> Yes I will ask him......I'll come to bed tonight in my heels and see what happens.


Wearing heels to bed is a great idea to me...it would get my attention. And I agree with the others...you really are AWESOME for trying new things!!!!!!!!!! :smthumbup:

Keep us posted.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Check his pulse, make sure he still has some blood flowing.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

I'll check his pulse tonight if he has no reaction. I'll mutter to myself just loud enough for him to hear...LOL


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

aardvark2 said:


> Any chance he's ever read The World According to Garp?


:lol: I was thinking exactly the same thing! 

OP - surprise him with a BJ where he won't get his knob bitten off if he's hit from behind while distracted by your efforts.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

The NHL is starting again in a week. Make him a steak sandwich - put the game on, and go down on him as he's watching the game, eating a steak sandwich. 

That's the ultimate Canadian man's wet dream.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Actually, my husband just mentioned hockey to me.....if you say that'll work, I'm in!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

popcorn said:


> So, I'm trying to be more spontaneous and into him and we go for a drive. I want to give him a bj and he's non responsive. Ok, this is not something we have done throughout our twenty year marriage but I did warn him that I want to please him and will do anything I have to do to prove this to him...Well, it didn't go so well. We got in the vehicle and went for a drive but he was not responsive at all. I felt like a fool. I so much want to please my husband but I end up feeling like a tramp... Yes, well, maybe I wanted to be tramp with my husband....is this so wrong


...

Blowjob Causes Car Accident, Hilarity - New York Sex, NY After Dark


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Ok, I should clarify that I am the one who took him for a ride and since we live in the country I parked on the side of the gravel road.....I pulled over and threw his seat back. Sorry I didn't clarify this earlier.


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## Doc221 (Nov 26, 2012)

Just a thought.........
Whilst he is driving have you ever considered stripping off on the seat and starting to masturbate right there next to him, saying that you want him right here and now? Now I know that would work for me!


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## Doc221 (Nov 26, 2012)

Sorry, just to add...... as long as you are not on the interstate that is


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

popcorn said:


> Ok, I should clarify that I am the one who took him for a ride and since we live in the country I parked on the side of the gravel road.....I pulled over and threw his seat back. Sorry I didn't clarify this earlier.


Oh ok lol, thanks for clarifying 

Now all men have their own buttons but one way my wife turns me on while she's driving is by simply wearing a skirt. Then when I find myself unable to resist putting my hand on her thigh she resists... the tease if you like. But I'm a leg man so lol

Perhaps he finds it too easy when you initiate?
Check out my thread... here:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/57375-how-seduce-your-ld-husband.html


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

popcorn said:


> Ok, I should clarify that I am the one who took him for a ride and since we live in the country I parked on the side of the gravel road.....I pulled over and threw his seat back. Sorry I didn't clarify this earlier.


That's different - much safer than an in-car bj at 100 kmh. Maybe your husband's fearful of semi-public sex? Is he shy? Are your windows not tinted dark enough? Maybe he should see a Dr. to get his stick shift checked out?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Performance anxiety. What are the chances he rubbed one out earlier in the day?


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Interesting responses. Ouch, the truth hurts a little. I'm not competing with his hand if this is what he wants to do. He'd never tell me the truth anyway. He can talk the talk but he can't walk the walk.
Tonight was another bust so maybe I'll be standofish for awhile. Someone suggested this so I'll see what happens.


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## FoolMeOnce (Oct 16, 2012)

What an arse! He should have just gone with it even if he wasn't feeling it right then. How insensitive! How did he explain his unwillingness?

Lots of good sex happens when you aren't in the mood and you just do it anyway.

I agree he must have already taken care of that earlier. It's the only explanation that makes sense to me, unless you have really pointy teeth.

I applaud you for dusting yourself off and trying again! Maybe he needs to loosen up a bit with a couple glasses of something first.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

For whatever reason, it sounds as though he's getting off on rejecting you. I'd stop initiating altogether and pull a complete 180 on him. Let him chase you, OP, but don't play games with him by rejecting him when he does. You don't sound like the sort of woman who would, but tit for tat never works, IME.


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

Some guys just don't know how good they have it.


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## The Cro-Magnon (Sep 30, 2012)

popcorn said:


> So, I'm trying to be more spontaneous and into him and we go for a drive. I want to give him a bj and he's non responsive. Ok, this is not something we have done throughout our twenty year marriage but I did warn him that I want to please him and will do anything I have to do to prove this to him...Well, it didn't go so well. We got in the vehicle and went for a drive but he was not responsive at all. I felt like a fool. I so much want to please my husband but I end up feeling like a tramp... Yes, well, maybe I wanted to be tramp with my husband....is this so wrong


Too much, too soon.

Control yourself, and pace yourself, ease him into the "new you".


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

So...did you wear your high heels to bed? Did he notice?


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

popcorn said:


> So, I'm trying to be more spontaneous and into him and we go for a drive. I want to give him a bj and he's non responsive. Ok, this is not something we have done throughout our twenty year marriage but I did warn him that I want to please him and will do anything I have to do to prove this to him...Well, it didn't go so well. We got in the vehicle and went for a drive but he was not responsive at all. I felt like a fool. I so much want to please my husband but I end up feeling like a tramp... Yes, well, maybe I wanted to be tramp with my husband....is this so wrong


Wow! I would pay money for my wife to take me for a drive, blow my brains in the car, hop on and ride me into the sunset.

The most obvious answer is the most simple- talk to him about it. Tell him that you have sexual needs and desires that aren't being met... and you should not feel like a tramp for being into your man.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

If this is all new after 20 years, he may have a lot of resentment built up. Have you rejected him in the past? It's not easy to just flip a switch.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> So...did you wear your high heels to bed? Did he notice?


He had not to notice right?


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

The Cro-Magnon said:


> Too much, too soon.
> 
> Control yourself, and pace yourself, ease him into the "new you".


Nice choice of words..:lol:


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

None of this is new in the past 20 years. I've always been the rejected one for some reason. If anyone should feel resentment it's me. While I was pregnant he thought I was disgusting. When I was pregnant with our third I begged him not to show his disgust as body changes were hard enough as it was. I never kept the baby weight on I'm still like I was in high school so wtf? I don't say anything about his weight gain but then again I'm not at all bothered by this. 
Last night I told him I'd meet him in our bedroom when he was ready for bed. He said nothing to me. I went in with my heels anyway and he just turned over and said good night. Well, good f-ing night to him too then. I'm not wasting my time.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Well crap. I'm pissed at your husband all over again. I'm sorry you're going through all of this.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Me too, but hey, look how many frustrated people there are......just gotta suck it up.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Geeze, after 2o years I'm moving too fast? Ok, I'll take that. Just need to mull it over a little.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

I would love for my wife to show your initiative! She is starting to but not to the extent you have. I'm sorry he is being a jerk to you. You sound like a wonderful woman to me. I hope he comes around.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

after reading your thread I for one am envious as hell and mad as hell at your husband.

some things that popped out to me were..

1) you need to play hard to get. your to accessible .make him work for it a little. now being as you have a pattern of 20 yrs of this you going to have to nibble away little by little.

2) you mentioned his weight gain dosn't bother you thats all fine and dandy but it could be the start of heart disease and that will effect blood flow and ...well you get my drift 42 and over weight any other risk factors...smoking excessive drinking lack of exercise poor diet.

I would insist on a dr visit complete physical and some effort on his part to be a loving spouce. before I would be having sex with this joker.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

sandc said:


> I would love for my wife to show your initiative! She is starting to but not to the extent you have. I'm sorry he is being a jerk to you. You sound like a wonderful woman to me. I hope he comes around.


Thanks and I hope your wife keeps at it. I wish I could make her see how worth it it all is.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> after reading your thread I for one am envious as hell and mad as hell at your husband.
> 
> some things that popped out to me were..
> 
> ...


These are all very good points. Thank you for them. Aahhh, I'd better keep myself very busy so he's sleeping waaaayyyy before I come to bed.


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## homebuilder (Aug 25, 2012)

try this (except for the end)




Yes, she is wearing a "whipped cream bikini". simply sexy - YouTube


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

This is awesome, thanks for sending me the video. Never thought of that but I'd really have to keep my laughter in check since I laugh at just about everything!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Popcorn, your husband is a damn lucky man to have you!!!!!


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Hey! Maybe I can do a whip cream Speedo for my wife!

Nah, she'd die laughing.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> Popcorn, your husband is a damn lucky man to have you!!!!!


I'm obviously not doing something right because I'm sure not getting lucky!


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

sandc said:


> Hey! Maybe I can do a whip cream Speedo for my wife!
> 
> Nah, she'd die laughing.


This vision is killing me! Good thing everyone is sleeping right now because I'm snorting like crazy!


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

popcorn said:


> This vision is killing me! Good thing everyone is sleeping right now because I'm snorting like crazy!


Maybe one of those T back speedos?

Honey if you saw me you'd snort yourself to death.

And I think we can safely say that YOU'RE not lucky, your husband is.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

sandc said:


> Maybe one of those T back speedos?
> 
> Honey if you saw me you'd snort yourself to death.
> 
> And I think we can safely say that YOU'RE not lucky, your husband is.


So true. Not lucky......so sad. 
I have started to show no affection. Well, not too much. He kept following me around the house this evening and trying to talk all "nicey" with me. I gave short answers and I sounded very vague but not mean. Maybe this will help.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Hoping for the best for you. Dang waste of a good woman. I hope he comes around.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

sandc said:


> Hoping for the best for you. Dang waste of a good woman. I hope he comes around.


Thank you for listening, it is much appreciated.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

That's why we're here.  Vent away.


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## lonewolf8545 (Jan 12, 2013)

He is lucky to have you. Most guys would love to have a bj while driving. Maybe he has low T or can't maintain an erection anymore and is embarrassed to say something. 

Either way, he should perk up and realize how damn lucky he is to have a wife like you.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

It's been a few days now that I've been keeping my distance from him. I'm still pleasant enough but I haven't made any effort to be near him. It's definitely working. When he tries to come near him I make excuses that I have work to do. He's not used to this and he looks sad. I feel bad. I'm not sure how long I'm supposed to keep this up. I'm grateful for the suggestions everyone has given me. It's working!


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Sorry, I meant when he tries to come near me.....


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## Time4Joy (Dec 13, 2012)

I'm betting it's ED. And, he's embarrassed. Ask him directly. It's no reflection on you or his prowess. It's blood flow or the lack of it. Better living through chemistry--experiment with the big three Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. Most docs will hand out samples. 

Life is too short to be embarrassed or frustrated when God and Big Pharma have given us the answer.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Well, I have certainly considered what you have said and I have brought this up as delicately as possible. I can't say for sure that it isn't ed but it doesn't seem so. I think he's really not that Into me. Period. I tried to woman up and it seemed to work for a while but now I think he's happy that I leave him alone. I haven't tried anything lately and I no longer care to. I'm hurt and angry and sad. I cry on my own at night and he has no idea. Who cares? I'm not begging and I'm so tired of feeling this way and guess what? It freaking sucks and I'm powerless to change this. I'm here, I'm willing and yet I'm the only one losing sleep over this. There's something very very wrong with this picture.


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

popcorn said:


> Well, I have certainly considered what you have said and I have brought this up as delicately as possible. I can't say for sure that it isn't ed but it doesn't seem so. I think he's really not that Into me. Period. I tried to woman up and it seemed to work for a while but now I think he's happy that I leave him alone. I haven't tried anything lately and I no longer care to. I'm hurt and angry and sad. I cry on my own at night and he has no idea. Who cares? I'm not begging and I'm so tired of feeling this way and guess what? It freaking sucks and I'm powerless to change this. I'm here, I'm willing and yet I'm the only one losing sleep over this. There's something very very wrong with this picture.




Big hug xx


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Wow,that hug means more to me than you can even imagine. Thank you.


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

popcorn said:


> Wow,that hug means more to me than you can even imagine. Thank you.


Thanks popcorn. Wish I could do it in person!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

This really ticks me off. This guy will probably be on this website in a year wondering why his wife is no longer into him. He'll have effed it up himself and won't even know he did it. And I'll probably tell him to do a 180 and popcorn will get the short end again.

I wish I could figure out a way to fix this popcorn. Your man is a fool.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

You know what? I just need to thank you for taking the time to read this. There isn't much to say and I get the feeling that you simply understand. Nothing more to say. It is what it is.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

workingonme, I'm the fool. I'm the one feeling like I'm nothing worth looking at never mind sleeping with and I'm also the one losing sleep over it! I'm surrounded by men every day and I don't give them another thought! Who's the fool here?


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

popcorn said:


> You know what? I just need to thank you for taking the time to read this. There isn't much to say and I get the feeling that you simply understand. Nothing more to say. It is what it is.




You sound like a lovely lady! I should take a 'leaf out of your book''. 

I am seriously thinking of buying a 30 room guest house in Melbourne. It would be so great to have a ''TAM'' annual vacation/holiday once a year. All will be invited. Just to meet people in person.

I would only charge just to cover costs no profit on my part.

Any thoughts?


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

If you could actually pull this off i'll bet you'd have a full house. So many of us are just asking for an ear. We all have to make our own decisions in the end. Sometimes there are very important reasons for the way we do things. It leads us to a place that opens doors we never dreamed of. Stepping out of my comfort zone is not easy for me but I'm at a point where I want to meet people who are honest and not this Faye stuff that I see and hear every day.


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

popcorn said:


> If you could actually pull this off i'll bet you'd have a full house. So many of us are just asking for an ear. We all have to make our own decisions in the end. Sometimes there are very important reasons for the way we do things. It leads us to a place that opens doors we never dreamed of. Stepping out of my comfort zone is not easy for me but I'm at a point where I want to meet people who are honest and not this Faye stuff that I see and hear every day.


Exactly popcorn. I agree.


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## Rembrandt36 (Aug 29, 2013)

popcorn said:


> Maybe he's just tired of me. We've been married twenty years this year and he could be tired of seeing the same face every day. I on the other hand love him more today than I did ten years ago. I appreciate him so much and I would do just about anything to make him happy but if this continues there will come a day when he's going to be s.o.l.


If he has ever seen the movie "The World According to Garp" that would be enough to turn anyone off from a driving BJ. Terrifying thing to happen to a man for the sake that someone is feeling "horny." My W tried that once and I told her she was out of her mind and for the reasons I just gave. 
It could be that you guys have been together so long that he is tired of you. Have you gotten fat or out of shape? Do you have wrinkles? This can contribute.


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## Rembrandt36 (Aug 29, 2013)

popcorn said:


> workingonme, I'm the fool. I'm the one feeling like I'm nothing worth looking at never mind sleeping with and I'm also the one losing sleep over it! I'm surrounded by men every day and I don't give them another thought! Who's the fool here?


Have you considered that the sexual part of the relationship may just be over, and with time it has slipped into the friendship phase? Others here will tell you that they're 48 or 52 or whatever and are still horny as all get out. But just like with looks, the sex drive fades as well. Maybe it hit him earlier than usual.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Low T ?


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Rembrandt36 said:


> If he has ever seen the movie "The World According to Garp" that would be enough to turn anyone off from a driving BJ. Terrifying thing to happen to a man for the sake that someone is feeling "horny." My W tried that once and I told her she was out of her mind and for the reasons I just gave.
> It could be that you guys have been together so long that he is tired of you. Have you gotten fat or out of shape? Do you have wrinkles? This can contribute.


As I've stated before, I pulled over to the side of a gravel road. I was the one driving. No, I haven't gotten fat or out of shape. I've always taken good care of myself. But I have to say, things have gotten a whole lot better. I stepped back and gave him all the space in the world with no complaints. Seems that after a few months of this he's noticed me again.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

That's awesome!


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

diwali123 said:


> That's awesome!


Thank you!! I hope this continues, we have a lot of life to live!


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

itskaren said:


> You sound like a lovely lady! I should take a 'leaf out of your book''.
> 
> I am seriously thinking of buying a 30 room guest house in Melbourne. It would be so great to have a ''TAM'' annual vacation/holiday once a year. All will be invited. Just to meet people in person.
> 
> ...


The HD TAM divorcee match-making hotel....me likey


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Hope it works out for you.....


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

edbopc said:


> Hope it works out for you.....


Thanks!


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

I am having kinda opposite problem though


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

edbopc said:


> I am having kinda opposite problem though


Oh no, sorry, what's going on?


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Wife said no more desire for sex......geeeze


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

edbopc said:


> Wife said no more desire for sex......geeeze


A friend of mine was disinterested for years so her doc put her on Wellbutrin(not sure if I'm allowed to post this) and it changed her for the better. I think her husband is worn out cause she won't leave him alone. I'm sure he's happy though.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

will google that, I am not so sure she just isn't attracted to me....find out after kids go tbed bed, going to confront her.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Seems to be for depression, I dunno know whats in her head, maybe I need whipped cream, lol


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

edbopc said:


> Seems to be for depression, I dunno know whats in her head, maybe I need whipped cream, lol


Yes, it is for depression and it's also taken to help quit smoking I believe. You should find a forum on it and read what people have to say. When my girlfriend mentioned her high sex drive since being on it, she googled it and found out it was a side effect for many people. Whipped cream sounds like fun though!


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

well that's all out


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> Y
> 
> Have him take a natural testosterone booster. Works wonders for me and drives my wife crazy.....heh.


What is this and where do you get it?


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

edbopc said:


> will google that, I am not so sure she just isn't attracted to me....find out after kids go tbed bed, going to confront her.


So, what happened when you confronted her? Did anything change?


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> What is this and where do you get it?


Please tell me where to get this?


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Wellbutrin is a very old anti depressant actually... one of the originals it got a bad rep for some side effects and kinda dissappeared from the mainstream. It has always been around...it does have that one great side effect yes. It is commonly paired with other anti deppressants to counter act the libido side effect most SSRI's have. It can be taken alone also. If taken as time release it does show some negative sexual side effects though like most anti deppressants atleast in men.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> And tomorrow he'll tell you it's because you don't dress sexy enough, the next he'll say it's because you need to lose 10 pounds, it will always be something with him and none of it will be the truth.
> 
> The longer he can keep you distracted from the truth the longer he can avoid facing it.


Mavash, you know something? I think you're right. There is always an excuse and it's something I'm doing. I don'TT know what more I can do. If I wait for him to make the first move, it's my fault. If I make the move, I'm a nympho. Guess what? I'm Frustrated beyond belief, sick of trying since I end up feeling bad no matter the outcome, I'm apparently more like a man in how I think....f__k! I'm some kind of joke for trying to look attractive which I do for HIM.....F this. It's no wonder people stray. But I'm stuck. Plain and simple. Marriage is no joke for me. 

I think I'm going to start making comments about the men I see every day. Tit for tat no?????


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

i used to have a gf who played with the wiener from behine on my harley, getting me off while riding on the freeway, or out in the desert.

another one, we would pull off into a parking lot and give me bj.

its always good. dont understand a guy who wouldnt like it.

popcorn. its a gift. God bless you!


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

My wife needs to take me for a drive...seriously


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

honey, can you take me for a drive?


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

When you go on that drive, be sure it is on a highway/road that he cannot get off of for a few miles and you have time to tend to business and he cannot object or stop driving!!

Years ago, when on a very scenic stretch of highway, I would not let him stop until I was done and to this day, all I have to do is mention the name of that stretch of road and he is off! :lol: and of course each time we visit that stretch of road .....

Long road trips can be fun for both if you like the excitement  ....


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

popcorn said:


> So, what happened when you confronted her? Did anything change?


It has gotten better some, anniversary quickie trip Friday night, be in hotel, will see if it goes anywhere


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

LadyDee said:


> When you go on that drive, be sure it is on a highway/road that he cannot get off of for a few miles and you have time to tend to business and he cannot object or stop driving!!
> 
> Years ago, when on a very scenic stretch of highway, I would not let him stop until I was done and to this day, all I have to do is mention the name of that stretch of road and he is off! :lol: and of course each time we visit that stretch of road .....
> 
> Long road trips can be fun for both if you like the excitement  ....


My STBW and I have our own stretch of road...for both of us  Gotta love it when I'm driving and she's wearing a skirt...


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## lapdog (Jul 12, 2013)

popcorn said:


> Maybe he's just tired of me. We've been married twenty years this year and he could be tired of seeing the same face every day. I on the other hand love him more today than I did ten years ago. I appreciate him so much and I would do just about anything to make him happy but if this continues there will come a day when he's going to be s.o.l.


I know this is an old thread, but it still seems active, so....
we have been married a bit over 26 yrs, and neither are tired of the same face. He could at least explain his action. Maybe he was not comfortable with the distraction while driving, but a simple few words of appreciation for your thoughts would have sufficed, and a quick reaction from him when you got home would have sealed the deal.
My wife knows that I appreciate her thoughts and play. We have made more than one "stop" in the cell phone lots when I pick her up from out of town business, and anyone who should find either of our lost cell phones would have quite the stash for posting on the internet.:smthumbup:
Good luck. It must be really tough to have so many years invested with someone, and feel like you are being shut out.


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## where_are_we (May 24, 2013)

Did this the other day and he took the"long way" home. But it still didn't get me what I want. Oh well.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

where_are_we said:


> Did this the other day and he took the"long way" home. But it still didn't get me what I want. Oh well.


Keep trying......


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## lawnmonkey (Oct 13, 2013)

oral down the road is my favorite , only had one gal tear me up so bad that i had to pull over . But it seems i can last forever while driving down the road . My old record was from knoxville to atlanta ,, but the new mark was set a couple years ago , from mrytle beach to knoxville . but to be fair about the broken record lol the mrytle beach gal wasnt near as good at giving oral as she thought she was lol


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Just as a change of thought I was thinking of trying to take my wife for a " drive ". This Friday night I hope


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

edbopc said:


> Just as a change of thought I was thinking of trying to take my wife for a " drive ". This Friday night I hope


Make sure she wears a skirt so she can get some action too  Mine absoultey loves the angle as she can see exactly what I am doing with my fingers first hand, without the mirror


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

edbopc said:


> Just as a change of thought I was thinking of trying to take my wife for a " drive ". This Friday night I hope


Good for you........I'm jealous! Seriously though, I hope she likes your idea and just goes with it.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

popcorn said:


> Good for you........I'm jealous! Seriously though, I hope she likes your idea and just goes with it.


I'm glad my STBW comes up with these things all on her own


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Popcorn,

Everyone is different and sexual desires change over time. I did the whole college thing sex in cars, bleachers, behind buildings, in a park, in front of others etc etc. 

Now being nice and old I have no desire to do those things. The make out sessions in movie theaters or BJ's or handjobs. Again, really no urge at all. It feels wrong on many levels and the "voyeristic" urges have long gone.

Nowadays pushing 40 I enjoy main course sex and you can have everything else. I don't like quickies, don't like morning sex, don't like spontaneity, I like candles, wine, foreplay, tons of kissing, damn that was good marathon SEX.

As long as you and your hubby have that I'm totally on board. The sex on the table, handjob stuff, or bj in the car.

I would be like let's wait and really bang later, but that's me. Good luck!!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

jorgegene said:


> i used to have a gf who played with the wiener from behine on my harley, getting me off while riding on the freeway, or out in the desert.


That sounds exciting...I will have to add that to my sexual bucket list of things to do. :smthumbup:

I also want to have sex on a train....


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## BrokenVows (Oct 12, 2012)

I Notice The Details said:


> That sounds exciting...I will have to add that to my sexual bucket list of things to do. :smthumbup:
> 
> I also want to have sex on a train....


Risky business? Sounds fun!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Exactly....I liked that movie!


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

Still waiting for my wife to take me for a drive. I keep suggesting the long scenic routes too :scratchhead:


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

edbopc said:


> Just as a change of thought I was thinking of trying to take my wife for a " drive ". This Friday night I hope


Did this ever happen? I hope it did and it turned out for you!


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

If I took my wife for a long drive....she would most likely end up sleeping and providing me with some snoring sounds.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Noble1 said:


> If I took my wife for a long drive....she would most likely end up sleeping and providing me with some snoring sounds.


As funny as you're making this sound, take her out for a short drive and don't let her get THAT relaxed! Taker control and see what happens, you just might be pleasantly surprised!


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Noble1 said:


> If I took my wife for a long drive....she would most likely end up sleeping and providing me with some snoring sounds.


Maybe you need to make her drive and do your magic on her, then tell her you will drive home and she can reciprocate :rofl:


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## Coach8 (Jun 17, 2013)

Me and wife went to a B&B about 2 hrs away this last Fri. She said she wanted to wait until we got to the room. We made it about 1/2 way before she couldn't wait. Gave a couple truckers a nice show. Luckily I finished about a mile before the toll gate, or the toll booth lady would have gotten a show too.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

popcorn said:


> Did this ever happen? I hope it did and it turned out for you!


unfortunately not yet, still going to try when I get a chance


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

I'll keep trying no doubt. Didn't happen on vacation in Maui so not holding my breath for now.

Doing the MAP thing and seeing better stuff for me personally so there is hope.


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## ToothFairy (May 19, 2013)

I suggest looking and reading about Intimacy Anorexia. You may find the symptoms fit this insidious and damaging condition. I know I did!

McKinney Counseling & Recovery | If My Husband is Intimacy Anorexic, What Am I?

Hope this helps!


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## reef3314 (Nov 13, 2013)

Expecting it or not he should have had some response. I would have damn near wrecked the car if my wife sprung that on me. I'm not sure what the issue is there but kudos to you for a great effort. I wish my wife were spontaneous like that.


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

reef3314 said:


> Expecting it or not he should have had some response. I would have damn near wrecked the car if my wife sprung that on me. I'm not sure what the issue is there but kudos to you for a great effort. I wish my wife were spontaneous like that.


I sure wish I could do something right. I give up. I now just tell him I'm here if he wants me......for now.


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