# long tale



## mdcorbin (Oct 14, 2009)

This takes place over about 7 years, 4 years in school getting my Pharm D and then 3 years post grad. Sorry for poor grammar, it is late and i am very very tired. 

Ok, this is a bit of a twisty tale..

I meet a lovely girl in school who is married. We begin talking and studying together.. she is unhappy in her marriage. She married very young to get away from a troubled home. her husband is a troll at best.. she leaves him. We begin dating and are very happy, move in together and life is great. I develop a strong addiction to an online video game haha, and gain about 75 pounds. We are still living together at this point, for about 3 years now, still finishing pharmacy school up. I begin to suspect she is cheating on me, but i find no proof. Flash forward, we graduate, I tell her i need some space and we move back to our home town separated. I begin to realize how much i love and miss her, she is working on a PhD in another city.. I start to call her and we have a few dates. She is not sure she wants to be back together i ignored he so much for 2 years while we were in school and in another city. I feel like i have to lure her back, albeit still weighing about 65 pounds too much! Well we start dating a little and having sex again, then i blow her off one day while she is moving to a new apartment. I make her mad, she doesnt return my calls for a few days and i spend the fourth of july with my old friends. I tell them I am in love with her and i want to get married. An old "friend" tells me no, i shouldnt, she is a bad person. then he unloads that they were sleeping together while we lived together, this friend is married during all of this! I am shocked, but not buying all of it. He tells me she is sleeping with one of our professors during this too! Next morning i go to confront her.. our professors car is at her apartment! They were sleeping together that night, while the friend told me about it! I confront her, we work things out, she admits to sleeping with each of the men (both married) once. We marry, she has our child, then I find out a year later she was lying to me, that she had been sleeping with the friend for about a year!

Now I am married to her for 3 years almost, and she is faithful and a great wife.. but i cant shake the anger and pain from finding out that she lied to me about all of it! She says she lied so i would forgive her and marry her. She has accused me of cheating, escpecially when i lost all the weight, i am 32 and wearing my clothes from highscool/college again.

I just dont know what to do, i am ok for a few weeks, then i feel anger, hurt, shame.. i want to lash out, ask her why she did it! will she do it again? our teacher?!?!?! my old friend!?!?! i mean what do i do? i cant stay married to her with all this hate, but, it was awhile ago, 2005.... I just dont know what to do and i need help. I love her, but, i just cant forget.

I think she would not cheat again.. but, do i really? do i just want to think that? 

Should i just get over it? I just have the voice inside me telling me to run like hell... but i love her and our life together so much.


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Sounds like you could use some therapy on your own. She could stand some, too because she has to understand what she did and why.


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## chuckf75 (Sep 6, 2009)

Strange, you have all this cheating, you marry her anyway and now 3 years later you are upset. Did you think you could get over it and now you cannot? I do agree that MOST cheaters will cheat again but not all. (Remember, she cheated with you on her first husband) The bottom line is can you trust her? Can you verify she is trustworthy by some method? Are you better off with her or without her?


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