# Virgin?



## Socialworker (Apr 9, 2018)

Boyfriend and I were messing around in bed but trying to keep my virginity. He was thrusting it in me but only an inch or so but he still had his boxers on completely covering his penis. So it didn't make it in far because of the thick cloth.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Are you one of these technical virgins? Have you ever given a guy head or a hand job.

What's your bf's opinion?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Socialworker said:


> Boyfriend and I were messing around in bed but trying to keep my virginity. *He was thrusting it in me, but only an inch or so  but he still had his boxers on completely covering his penis. So it didn't make it in far because of the thick cloth.*


*I think you answered your own question!

I do believe that you'd be far better off posing that question to the "Ghost of Virgin's Past!"

Try looking up the clinical definition of "penetration!"*


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

LOL! Stop dancing around the fire.

Your cloths are already singed.


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## Socialworker (Apr 9, 2018)

My boyfriend was boning me an inch or so but his boxers were still on completely covering his penis. I hope i didn't ruin my virginity pledge. I'm scared.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

First I would ask why you want to remain a virgin. If it is for spiritual/religious reasons, than that ship has passed, so to speak. The "technical act" of penetration may be how we physiologically define virginity. However, if you are already getting naked, involving genitals, etc.....you may have an intact hymen, but you are not really a virgin.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

vir·gin
ˈvərjən/Submit
noun
1.
a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
synonyms:	chaste woman/man, celibate; More
2.
a person who is naive, innocent, or inexperienced, especially in a particular context.
"a political virgin"
adjective
1.
being, relating to, or appropriate for a virgin.
"his virgin bride"
synonyms:	chaste, virginal, celibate, abstinent; More
2.
not yet touched, used, or exploited.
"acres of virgin forests"
synonyms:	untouched, unspoiled, untainted, immaculate, pristine, flawless;



You do not fit any of the definitions. Not even the very first one about not having had sexual intercourse.

Here's why:

Just because he didn't put it all in doesn't mean you have not had sexual intercourse. He put an inch of it in. The fact that he had his boxers over it makes no difference.

If your boyfriend had a one inch penis and wore a condom, and had sex with you, you would not be questioning your virginity.

You are no longer a virgin. Your boyfriend and you have taken care of that.

Semen can come out of his penis into his undies and then into you even before he ejaculates. How will you explain your virginity if you get pregnant?


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

Socialworker said:


> Boyfriend and I were messing around in bed but trying to keep my virginity. He was thrusting it in me but only an inch or so but he still had his boxers on completely covering his penis. So it didn't make it in far because of the thick cloth.


I would not claim that you are virgin anymore. That'd be kinda like false advertising.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

If you are going to continue to have sex with him, for goodness sakes, please use protection! What are your plans for when you get pregnant by his one inch thrusting? Lmao.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

yeah, even pre come can get you pregnant.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

I have $ 0.02 to add..... 

Like many other religious subjects, there is a lot of dogmatic instruction...viz..."remain a virgin until marriage"

But, there is precious little ever taught as to WHY one should remain a virgin until marriage.....and, also like many other subjects, religious and secular, when the "why" is understood, then the appropriate life direction can "take hold", and the "defining line" as to limits can be easily established.

There are many good reasons:

1) unwanted pregnancy; birthing a child with an incomplete family to provide needed guidance;
2) venereal disease; marriage brings a very safe environment for sex if both partners arrive there virgins, and remain monogamous;
3) the only "safe" environment for sex is a committed relationship....in which the two partners learn to please and satisfy each other; not acquiring sexual habits and preferences from a previous partner; some of which cannot be restored or duplicated in the marriage;
4) "comparisons" burn in the mind of one or both partners....creating feelings of inferiority and invoking shyness when approaching the other sexually
5) even in cases where the premarital partner becomes the spouse, there is a certain loss of trust because both partners know irrefutably that the other partner is willing to go outside the marriage for sex; knowing beyond doubt that their sexual union is not sacred.
6) feelings of shame and guilt due to the violation of one's conscience; often this guilt must be dealt with before the sexual relationship of the marriage can proceed to develop and become satisfying.

I hope these things become part of your consideration for your sexual decisions and that you will enjoy the happiest possible marriage.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Socialworker, if you are having to figure out ways to bend, but no break, a virginity pledge, perhaps you need to seriously think about your pledge?

Also, boxers are not a contraceptive device, so be aware of the potential for pregnancy.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> @Socialworker, if you are having to figure out ways to bend, but no break, a virginity pledge, perhaps you need to seriously think about your pledge?
> 
> Also, boxers are not a contraceptive device, so be aware of the potential for pregnancy.


*Matt: I believe that she has two threads already going on this subject! Any way you could try to merge the two? Thanks!*


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## oldtruck (Feb 15, 2018)

Araucaria said:


> vir·gin
> ˈvərjən/Submit
> noun
> 1.
> ...



Another immaculate conception.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

OP. Please do not open multiple threads on the same subject. Thank you.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Socialworker said:


> My boyfriend was boning me an inch or so but his boxers were still on completely covering his penis. I hope i didn't ruin my virginity pledge. I'm scared.


Honey, do you have any concept of safe sex? Cotton boxers will not stop sperm.

Forget Virginity (you have already lost it), you have bigger issues to address real quickly. 

talk to a school counselor and get a better understanding of safe sex.


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## Townes (Jan 31, 2018)

Considered a virgin by whom? God? If you really believe god doesn't want you to have sex before marriage do you think he would be okay with this act because you found a loophole to exploit? Is that consistent with your understanding of God? Wouldn't the spiritual implications be the same for you? If you believe God doesn't want you to have sex because of practical consequences like pregnancy and std's, then have safe sex.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

Socialworker said:


> My boyfriend was boning me an inch or so but his boxers were still on completely covering his penis. I hope i didn't ruin my virginity pledge. I'm scared.


Um, ya you did ruin your pledge. Boxers or condom he still penetrated you.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Townes said:


> Considered a virgin by whom? God? If you really believe god doesn't want you to have sex before marriage do you think he would be okay with this act because you found a loophole to exploit? Is that consistent with your understanding of God? Wouldn't the spiritual implications be the same for you? If you believe God doesn't want you to have sex because of practical consequences like pregnancy and std's, then have safe sex.


This. This is exactly it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Socialworker said:


> Boyfriend and I were messing around in bed but trying to keep my virginity. He was thrusting it in me but only an inch or so but he still had his boxers on completely covering his penis. So it didn't make it in far because of the thick cloth.


How old are you and your boyfriend?


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Araucaria said:


> How will you explain your virginity if you get pregnant?


Another Immaculate Conception?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Steve1000 said:


> Another Immaculate Conception?


No, Immaculate Deception.

Aren't there other expressions? Dry hump / Zipless ****


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

A wise man said,
Virginity is like a balloon,
one prick, all gone.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

Socialworker said:


> Boyfriend and I were messing around in bed but trying to keep my virginity. He was thrusting it in me but only an inch or so but he still had his boxers on completely covering his penis. So it didn't make it in far because of the thick cloth.




Op, don’t listen to them. You’re still a virgin. Don’t worry. Try not to play with fire.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Ms. Hawaii said:


> Op, don’t listen to them. You’re still a virgin. Don’t worry. Try not to play with fire.


Um...no

She is no longer a virgin.

If she is saving herself to please God, He is already displeased. If purity is important, the heavy makeout "almost" sex needs to stop.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Recommend blow jobs and anal.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> Um...no
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Um...yes she’s still a virgin.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Ms. Hawaii said:


> Um...yes she’s still a virgin.


So if you use a condom or piece of cloth over the penis, while having PIV intercourse, you are still a virgin? Wow! I was a virgin for about seven years while still having sex several times a week. It's a miracle!


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

personofinterest said:


> If she is saving herself to please God, He is already displeased. If purity is important, the heavy makeout "almost" sex needs to stop.


 @Socialworker: The aspect of paramount importance to consider is how God will again be pleased.

God is, to us, a parent. When the child does something to hurt himself, the parent is grieved because of the pain the child will have to bear. However, the parent will pick up the child, hold him in his arms, and communicate the supreme love he has for the child. The parent will no longer be displeased, rather, the bond between the child and parent will become stronger and more vital than ever before.

God can, and will, restore you to your pledge, and deliver you to your future marriage just as if this event in your life had never happened. I ask you, go to God. Allow God to keep you in purity the rest of the way. Leave the judgement of "virgin" or "not virgin" in the loving hands of God. You, just trust God, not only to deliver, but that He will take the responsibility upon Himself to make this event completely powerless to alter your future betrothal and marriage.

Allow God to "use" this event in your life to bring you into a closer, deeper, relationship with Him, and as a "chance" that He has to demonstrate His wonderful love for you.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Ms. Hawaii said:


> Um...yes she’s still a virgin.


Well kinds of depends on one's perspective.

The military code of justice would say that intercourse happened with any penetration.

Most underage child rape laws would say "any penetration" or touching of genitals or anus for sexual pleasure of one or both partners.

I would say that from a legal perspective, she is not a virgin and passing herself off as a virgin to a future husband would be fraud.

If your definition is is her hyman still intact, which is one cultural definition of a virgin, we would need more information.

Another definition could be if she is experienced sexually. Well that messing around is trying to get the experience, so again at the best she is almost a virgin.

Just my perspective.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Virginity pledges are doomed to failure. 

Get condoms, learn to put them in, get on birth control and instead of the virginity pledge promise yourself you will not get naked with anyone who doesn’t make you feel totally cherished, adored and loved. That promise is a hell of a lot more important than how far it too far.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Young at Heart said:


> Well kinds of depends on one's perspective.
> 
> The military code of justice would say that intercourse happened with any penetration.
> 
> ...


This. I am trying to imagine a defense attorney telling a child or a victim "well, he didn't go all the way in or tear your hymen, so you weren't REALLY raped."

Yeah......no


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## *Gingersnap* (Apr 11, 2018)

Honey, I'm going to put it to you as simple as I can. If he penetrated you and you said he did with or without his boxers on you re no longer a virgin. I would really suggest if you are going to have him thrust that hard where he is going an inch inside you eliminate the boxer and put on a condom instead. This will give you both more pleasure and much more protection.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Condoms suck. That's all.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

+1 for what Anon Pink posted, condoms and just go for it.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Condoms suck. That's all.


As a 40-something adult in a committed relationship, I personally agree...
But it is terrible advice to give a young person.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

I wasnt giving advice...only stating the obvious. Having an unplanned pregnancy is much worse than getting dulled sensation through a piece of plastic. Believe me I learned the hard way.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

UpsideDownWorld11 said:


> Condoms suck. That's all.


So does gonorrhea. That’s not all. 

So does trichomoniasis. So does chlamydia, so does herpes, HIV, HPV...

Getting genital warts burn off must be so much fun for you.

https://beforeplay.org/stds/


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Socialworker said:


> Boyfriend and I were messing around in bed but trying to keep my virginity. He was thrusting it in me but only an inch or so but he still had his boxers on completely covering his penis. So it didn't make it in far because of the thick cloth.




Try different clothing items as a challenge and see if it’s possible to stick it in without loosing virginity. If he wears a thin coat it might still be possible if it’s protruding enough but down jackets might be trickier.

Also make sure to remove the clothing together with the penis afterwards, otherwise you could get an infection.

PS: yes, pregnancy and STDs (not to be confused with SATs) are still more of an immediate issue than god’s pleasure or displeasure in this matter.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

anonmd said:


> Recommend blow jobs and anal.



In reverse order though for maximum repentance.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Middle of Everything said:


> If you are religious and that is your thing, you think whoever/whatever you God is, concerns himself/itself with such technicalities?


No. I don't think God is concerned with technicalities. I think He is interested in protecting His children from physical and emotional harm.

There is a bond between people created by sex. It doesn't matter if there is penetration, not penetration, condom, or bareback..... there is no condom for the heart....

This bond, once created, cannot be broken without damage. "Baggage" will, unavoidably, be carried into future marriage.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

TJW said:


> there is no condom for the heart....




I beg to differ











Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I feel sorry for the guy if he only sticks out an inch past his boxers, and that's fully aroused! He must wear a size 2 shoe


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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

Socialworker said:


> Boyfriend and I were messing around in bed but trying to keep my virginity. *He was thrusting it in me* but only an inch or so but he still had his boxers on completely covering his penis. So it didn't make it in far because of the thick cloth.





Ms. Hawaii said:


> Um...yes she’s still a virgin.


Um...no she isn't. Hypocrite maybe, but virgin no.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Mrs MoE: Since when do you wear boxers?

Me: I dont know, thought they might be comfortable. 

Mrs MoE: So are we going to have sex later?

Me: Well................maybe, maybe not?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Middle of Everything said:


> 1. I need to see these boxers. Are they super loose or just specially designed with a front "cloth condom" area?


Here you go:


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

Young at Heart said:


> Just my perspective.




And I stand by what I wrote.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

WonkyNinja said:


> Um...no she isn't. but virgin no.




Um yes she is


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

Maxwedge 413 said:


> New, for the modern horny Christian Teen - Patriot Jesus Chastity Britches! Pound away all the Holy day without losing your virginity! Save yourself for the Lord, while you and your lover have orgasm after orgasm together. Do it for God and Country - Everybody wins! Get yours now!




You can ridicule my opinion all you want I still stand by it. 

In my book, she’s still a virgin.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Ms. Hawaii said:


> You can ridicule my opinion all you want I still stand by it.
> 
> In my book, she’s still a virgin.


Well, if it is a religious thing, your Book is not the Book that is in question. According to THAT book....she's not.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> Well, if it is a religious thing,.



Nah it’s not.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Ms. Hawaii said:


> Nah it’s not.


Ah, I wasn't aware the OP had stated that she was NOT trying to retain her virginity for religious reasons. Can you point me to the post where she said it was NOT a religious consideration? Thanks


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> Ah, I wasn't aware the OP had stated that she was NOT trying to retain her virginity for religious reasons. Can you point me to the post where she said it was NOT a religious consideration? Thanks




Well you might want to write better next time? You replied to a quote where I was talking about “MY book” and now you’re jumping back to op’s book? 

In my opinion, the op is still a virgin. 

Ps. I went to Catholic school for years. I KNOW what’s in the Bible. She’s still a virgin . 

Have a good day!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

@Ms. Hawaii 

How do you define virginity?


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Thank you. It has been quite a MONDAY kind of Monday, and I needed a bit of levity.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Realizing that my religious viewpoint is unusual I'm willing to discuss virginity in a religious context. Once again I find myself in a situation where the word (virginity) doesn't apply. Our law on sexual matters is simple. Men and women are not to have sexual relations outside of legal and lawful marriage. Any marriage that is legally binding counts, not just church weddings. Sexual relations is defined as touching to induce or receive sexual excitement. Now we would not say that a person who has had a sexual relationship is not a virgin, because virginity is not the point. The point is sexual purity. So if a person is legally married to another or even a series of others, they can still be sexually pure if they have only engaged in sexual relations with someone they were married to (legally) at the time of the relation. Also we believe in repentance. So a person who has broken this law by having a sexual relationship before marriage, or even outside of a marriage can regain sexual purity through repentance. 

This actually falls nicely in line with Dr. Alex Comfort (joy of sex) statement that virginity is a state of mind, and that a woman can be a virgin whenever she wants to be. 

To the OP @Socialworker only your own beliefs can decide if you have broken your promise. In my opinion you have acted rashly and taken a lot of risks. Safer sex would be my first recommendation. Secondly, I think you need to understand your imposed beliefs better and then decide for yourself what your belief in this area is. I have no problem with following a established religion many of them are very good. But, you clearly feel little guilt for having what is clearly to me, a sexual relation.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Ms. Hawaii said:


> You can ridicule my opinion all you want I still stand by it.
> 
> In my book, she’s still a virgin.





Ms. Hawaii said:


> Nah it’s not.


Everyone gets to have an opinion. 

I decided to see what Webster had to say about Virgin. You could be right in some senses.



> Definition of virgin
> 1 a : a person who has not had sexual intercourse
> b : a person who is inexperienced in a usually specified sphere of activity
> 2 a : an unmarried woman devoted to religion
> ...


She could have been born between August 23 and September 22 (i.e. 2b definition)

She is probably really inexperienced so definition 1b

She might also fall under definition 2a

And she does fit definition 3b

However, she did have a technical form of intercourse with the penetration of only an inch or so, but I guess there are lots of definitions out that would let he say she was still a virgin.


https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/virgin#medicalDictionary


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

Interesting thoughts on this. I personally think she is still a virgin too. 

My husband was my BF in Jr High. We were messing around in my parent’s basement and he put the tip in. I hissed “you’re in me, get out!” No religious issues or virginity pledges, I was just 14 and freaked out. The next year I dumped him and lost it for real to a senior football player. That Jr High boyfriend - my now husband - has always been upset I gave that away to a real ******* and not him. We had sex for real, his first time, on my 18th Birthday. I don’t think there is anyway in hell he would read this thread and agree that he took my virginity and not that ******* senior. None.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

Anon Pink said:


> @Ms. Hawaii
> 
> 
> 
> How do you define virginity?




Op wrote this: 




Socialworker said:


> He was thrusting it in me but only an inch or so So it didn't make it in far because of the thick cloth.


1. A woman loses her V when a penis penetrates her vagina. By that I mean it goes inside not at the opening or a few inches in. 

2. Op said that an INCH of him “went in”. Based on this, I cannot say that she’s no longer a Virgin because *I* don’t know how far it made it. Maybe it was just at the opening!! How can we assert that she’s no longer a virgin? We can’t even say that she’s still one due to the lack of info. I was just trolling. Seriously, my real advice is : I need more info op. 

And yes, I played with fire when I was younger.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Moderator notice:-*

Due to the fact that the OP has not been on TAM for some time, this thread is being closed for further replies.

If the OP wishes for her thread to be reopened, she should please PM myself or any other Moderator.

And as for the troll calling and threadjacks? Not cool in the least.


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