# I hate this time of year



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Two years ago at this time of year, I would have been preparing my outdoor equipment for another season of use. Tuning up the tractors and mowers. Getting the the tiller ready, planning my garden. Prepping flower beds. Shopping for new gear, seeds and plants.

I really loved doing yard work and maintaining my property. I enjoyed planning and executing my next home improvement project. I felt like I was working towards something. I felt like I was building something.

Now two years later, all that is gone. I live in an apartment. I have somewhat replaced my need to turn a wrench by buying an old motorcycle to work on, but I miss the smell of freshly turned earth and newly cut grass. Not to mention the various odors of the herbs that grew around my property - the rosemary, the mint, the garlic chives. Heck even the smell of dog crap!

It really pisses me off sometimes that I have lost all of it. I wish I could have it back. I know I can - someday. But not now. I haven't figured out exactly what it is that I want. Or how I want to go about getting it. All I can do it take life a day at a time and wait for my future to unfold.

Somethings I know I would like to have: A small house in the country, with maybe an acre of land. A house that is comfortable for myself, a future SO and a few guests. Comfortable inside and out. A yard with some gathering features - a firepit, a nice patio, a screened porch, a workshop. 

As far as an SO goes? I would love to meet a woman who likes to garden, enjoys working outdoors, someone who wants to build something together.

I live in a large city. However, I can get to the country in less than 5 minutes. But I am loath to buy now, I guess out of fear, that I will be trapped where I land (?). 

Right now, though I guess I am just missing my former life.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Buying a house is even worse than marrying in a sense, esp ease of getting out. I grew up in apartments and look forward to returning into one.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

I've got the perfect place for you. Please buy it so I can finalize my divorce and move to a townhouse!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I live out in the country on 10 acres and I also like gardening, fishing, restoring old cars, trucks, motorcycles, antique outboards. I have a nice shop with nice tools to work with. 

If I get married, I'll have to move in to the crappy city. Won't sell my place, but won't get to enjoy it nearly as much.

Something I've been worrying about.
I hate traffic. I hate not having room to stretch out, being able to do what I want, when I want. 

I couldn't live in an apartment again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I miss living out in the country. But, I bought a cute little house in town on 1.5 acres with lots of existing trees, shrubs and flowers and a nice-sized garden already in place (if sorely neglected the past few years). I've been mostly consumed with improvements to the house, but this year I hope to start working a bit more on the yard. I need to work on my deck, get new furniture for outside, and would love to add a brick patio and fire pit area at some point.

There are women who enjoy country living, and plenty of those are also healthy, attractive, educated, articulate, and have all our teeth.  It may take some searching to find a woman who shares your interests and wants to build the type of life you want to lead, but that's probably true no matter what your particular preferences are.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Evinrude58 said:


> I live out in the country on 10 acres and I also like gardening, fishing, restoring old cars, trucks, motorcycles, antique outboards. I have a nice shop with nice tools to work with.
> 
> If I get married, I'll have to move in to the crappy city. Won't sell my place, but won't get to enjoy it nearly as much.
> 
> ...


I hear you! I used to love to be able to sit on my back porch that faced the woods behind my house and drink my morning coffee in my underwear. Have friends over and blare the stereo as loud as I wanted. Go out to my shop at 2 in the morning and grind, pound and bang on whatever I wanted to and not bother anybody else.

I guess I just have analysis paralysis. I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want. I just don't know what it is that I want.

I agree that buying a property is like marriage, which is why I haven't bought a place yet. But I still miss that aspect of my former life.

Riding a motorcycle is nice, playing golf is nice, but neither give the same sense of accomplishment of looking out over a freshly manicured lawn or a beautiful flower bed or lush vegetable garden, knowing that YOU are responsible for it.
The same holds true of sitting on a porch that you built with your own two hands!


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Come visit me. I bought a 2 year old home last summer and the previous owners didn't do any landscaping at all, so you can start from scratch!


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

If it will stop raining, I've got to get my garden tilled and get a load of gin trash for fertilizer....

Worst flood in years here right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Am now residing as a ranch overseer living in a two-story hunting lodge, out in the midst of 1,700+ acres, with nothing but cows, deer, feral hogs, raccoons, possums, armadillos, and coyotes!

And I'm loving every single minute of it! And if perchance I again get romantically involved, I can't quite see us living together here!

We'd both be making road trips!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Ynot, I'll extend an invitation for you to visit. You can ride my tractor, till my garden, and do whatever sort of projects you want.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Bananapeel said:


> Ynot, I'll extend an invitation for you to visit. You can ride my tractor, till my garden, and do whatever sort of projects you want.


I actually volunteer to go back to my old stomping grounds to visit my friends farm. We spend a day or so pulling logs from his pond, building brush piles, working on various projects. But again there is nothing like doing something for yourself.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Ynot said:


> I actually volunteer to go back to my old stomping grounds to visit my friends farm. We spend a day or so pulling logs from his pond, building brush piles, working on various projects. But again there is nothing like doing something for yourself.


Totally get it Ynot.

I used on our minifarm with my horses home, two dogs, two cats and a rooster named Bird. Can't wait to get back to the country. City life is not for me.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Bananapeel said:


> Ynot, I'll extend an invitation for you to visit. You can ride my tractor, till my garden, and do whatever sort of projects you want.


Before I accept, I need to know what kind of tractor. I don't do Deere.
Do you know why they paint them Green? So when they break down nobody can see them thru the weeds!


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Totally get it Ynot.
> 
> I used on our minifarm with my horses home, two dogs, two cats and a rooster named Bird. Can't wait to get back to the country. City life is not for me.


Yea, I was never much for our pets, but it killed me that my ex wanted to kill our dog and lie to our daughter about it and then deserted three cats out of convenience after I took the dog with me.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Ynot said:


> Yea, I was never much for our pets, but it killed me that my ex wanted to kill our dog and lie to our daughter about it and then deserted three cats out of convenience after I took the dog with me.


Yep, when my ex and I were together all the animals lived in harmony. As soon as I left with just the horses, the dogs killed both cats and he gave the rooster away and I ended up having to rescue my dogs from him because his neglect almost killed them. Only took three months for it to go to hell in a hand basket. I had told him that I was the glue in the relationship and it played out in living color when I removed myself from his life. Unfortunately our animals paid the price for that.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Ynot said:


> Before I accept, I need to know what kind of tractor. I don't do Deere.
> Do you know why they paint them Green? So when they break down nobody can see them thru the weeds!


Kubota. Now I'm glad I didn't get a deere!


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Not only do I hate this time of year, but I also hate that it reminds me that I still don't have a clue what I really want. I miss the yard work and maintaining a house, and I miss my house and property. I miss my porch and the view and most of all the privacy. But now I also wonder if I really want to go back to that, not even on a scaled down basis. The thought of a condo, with no exterior maintenance here is very appealing. I have sort of gotten somewhat used to apartment living and not having to worry about anything outside of it. I lost my dog earlier and have decided not to get another one, primarily because I just don't want to be bothered. I can leave for a week to ten days. Go off to wherever and come back and not have to worry about anything other than making sure I water my house plants before I leave and after I come back. As I move away from my divorce I am finding that I miss things much more than I miss her at this point.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

I miss my old home but the truth is that the relationship I was in while in that house was not a good one. My ex was probably wanting out of our marriage for many years before he actually said anything. I was yearning for him to love me in the way I wants him, while I was convincing myself it was good enough. I like the idea of sharing a home with some,one you love but it's only good if you really have someone you love.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Is there a community garden you can help out at that would fulfill your planning and executing and being outdoors needs, without constituting the commitment of a full-time yard?


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

joannacroc said:


> Is there a community garden you can help out at that would fulfill your planning and executing and being outdoors needs, without constituting the commitment of a full-time yard?


There are for sure. But I still miss the ownership part of it all. I really enjoyed, enjoying the fruit of my labor - the lush yard that I could enjoy in the evening, watching the birds and bees and smelling the fragrances while sitting on the porch that I built with my own two hands.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Evinrude58 said:


> I live out in the country on 10 acres and I also like gardening, fishing, restoring old cars, trucks, motorcycles, antique outboards. I have a nice shop with nice tools to work with.
> 
> If I get married, I'll have to move in to the crappy city. Won't sell my place, but won't get to enjoy it nearly as much.
> 
> ...


Further evidence as to WHY you should not get married soon...just sayin....


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I, too, have a yard that could use TLC, though it's only 1/3 acre. I felt so accomplished buying that house after my divorce. I threw myself into decorating, DIY stuff, remodeling changing the backyard area bit by bit. Added a screened porch which I love to sit on - wish I had company out there most evenings. But now it's tedious. I dislike mowing but I like how it looks. I have more weeds to mow than grass but hey, when it's all 3" long it looks the same as grass! 

I'm tired of trimming, fighting the ivy and the honeysuckle and the leaves in the fall. I guess mostly I'm tired of doing it ALL. I'd love some raised beds in the back for gardening and more landscaping. But if no Mr. Right comes along soon, I might go the route of a patio home. It gets to be too much. I just want to clean, cook, do some light DIY and gardening and my job. But I don't make enough to hire out to a lawn service but it needs it. I should have done aerating, pre-emergence, fertilizing and reseeding.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I, too, have a yard that could use TLC, though it's only 1/3 acre. I felt so accomplished buying that house after my divorce. I threw myself into decorating, DIY stuff, remodeling changing the backyard area bit by bit. Added a screened porch which I love to sit on - wish I had company out there most evenings. But now it's tedious. I dislike mowing but I like how it looks. I have more weeds to mow than grass but hey, when it's all 3" long it looks the same as grass!
> 
> I'm tired of trimming, fighting the ivy and the honeysuckle and the leaves in the fall. I guess mostly I'm tired of doing it ALL. I'd love some raised beds in the back for gardening and more landscaping. But if no Mr. Right comes along soon, I might go the route of a patio home. It gets to be too much. I just want to clean, cook, do some light DIY and gardening and my job. But I don't make enough to hire out to a lawn service but it needs it. I should have done aerating, pre-emergence, fertilizing and reseeding.


Shop around a bit on the lawn service. The really super-deluxe guy here in town wants $1200 to do a full clean-up plus $200/month in maintenance, with anything extra being an additional expense. My MIL uses him and there's a continual round of $300-$400 treatments, services, etc. tacked on to the standard maintenance plan. Now, if I used him my lawn would always look spectacular, but that's a lot more money than I can afford to spend on my yard. 

Instead, I pay a guy to mow, pick up the pinecones and stray sticks, edge the drive and walks, weed-eat around the shrubs, blow off the driveway and porches and spray any weeds that pop up in my driveway. He charges me $50 every 3 weeks. I pay him another $200 once a year to come in and do a big cleanup where he trims all the shrubs/trees that need it and refreshes the pinestraw in the beds. My grass has weeds in it and it's not a pristine carpet of lush green, but it looks pretty good and I'm not swamped with the yard work. And...did I mention it's $50 every three weeks!


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I, too, have a yard that could use TLC, though it's only 1/3 acre. I felt so accomplished buying that house after my divorce. I threw myself into decorating, DIY stuff, remodeling changing the backyard area bit by bit. Added a screened porch which I love to sit on - wish I had company out there most evenings. But now it's tedious. I dislike mowing but I like how it looks. I have more weeds to mow than grass but hey, when it's all 3" long it looks the same as grass!
> 
> I'm tired of trimming, fighting the ivy and the honeysuckle and the leaves in the fall. I guess mostly I'm tired of doing it ALL. I'd love some raised beds in the back for gardening and more landscaping. But if no Mr. Right comes along soon, I might go the route of a patio home. It gets to be too much. I just want to clean, cook, do some light DIY and gardening and my job. But I don't make enough to hire out to a lawn service but it needs it. I should have done aerating, pre-emergence, fertilizing and reseeding.


Keep your grass cut no shorter than the highest level on your mower. Don't ever lower your mower. People think scalping the yard and cutting it as short as possible is the way to go. But when you do that it allows the weeds to emerge. If you let the grass grow is will choke out the weeds and if you keep it cut as high as possible, the weeds will never flower and over time stop reseeding the lawn. This also helps keep the lawn lush and green instead of drying out and turning brown. Also for a really nice cut use a reel mower. The scissor action cuts the blade, Most mowers are rotary and the blade actually shatters the top off which then dries up and turns brown. Just some helpful hints


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Something I never understood. A lot of people pay good money for lawn service and then pay good money to join a gym and/or a tanning place. Yard work is one of the best forms of exercise out there. Lots of light repetitive movements, a good aerobic workout pushing a mower and best of all fresh air and free sunshine. You can make it as strenuous as you want.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I have been fighting the city, county, state, Army Corps of Engineers, the DPW, the EPA and the water authority for years over a storm sewer that empties in my back yard. At this point I'm pulling the grate off the drain and I don't care who's kid falls in.


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