# Is she too young and too extreme?



## seekinglove (Feb 2, 2012)

Hi, I am in love, but need an opinion. 

I am getting close to 50. Got divorced 5 years ago after an unhappy marriage. Since then I looked for a new wife, but online dating both disappointed me and I was also targeted by a fraud attempt. In the end of October I meet an absolutely wonderful girl in a bar! I fell in love directly! We live 800 miles apart, so I have mostly met her on weekends and the X-mas week, but we have talked every for an hour or so evening!

She is 18 years younger, so I wonder if I am selfish. I think she wants me, but how will she feel 2020? Is it wrong to ask her to choose a life with a man that gets old so much earlier than she?

But my girlfriend, let´s call her June, is really quite extreme in appearance and lifestyle!

June is very, very intelligent. She has a PhD and good demanding job. But she is a bit of a nerd, but so am I. We both like Jazz and history. But she is also a bit condescending on people with less education. I don´t think she wants to be mean, but she is very proud of herself.

June is very fat! She calls herself fat. She weighs about 475 and is 4’9”. But I think she is in very good shape. She can walk without losing her breath and loves to swim. She says she has excellent blood pressure and blood fat values. When I was younger I only dated plump girls, so I have always been attracted to a bit of flesh. June is so much bigger than any of them but she is really so good looking! I find all her flesh so sexy.

June is sometimes a heavy drinker. She calls herself a binge drinker and she never apologize for drinking. She drinks only on weekends and says that she is normally sober the two weekends after every binge.

I have always been attracted to women who get a bit dizzy. However my ex-wife stopped drinking after I proposed. But those girls I once dated usually got drunk in the evening and then silently suffered from hang over the next morning. But for June it is drinking almost continuously from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening! She get drunk, and we have a lot of fun together, then she drinks more, collapses, sleeps for a few hours, staggers back and drinks again for a few hours. Repeated several times.

June is recently divorced and lives with her older sister, let’s call her April. April does not drink much but she serves June as much as June wants, including vodka on the breakfast table. April says that June is really good at drinking only on some weekends so she is happy let June drink freely on those few days.

It is a bit difficult when she is very drunk and can’t walk and collapses but I think June is really very wonderful most of time. She loves to kiss and snug, to laugh and giggle when she drinks

I understand that is not usual to be sexually turned on by I know I am. And as June likes to get drunk, then I guess I ought to be a suitable husband for her even if I am older than she!

I had expected to keep on dating June during the spring to let my emotions mature. But now April has started to hint that I ought to propose to June already next time I come to visit. June’s old college boyfriend has started calling and he wants to come to visit her. April is worried and says she thinks June and I would make a perfect couple.

I am in love! Why should I not propose?

Or am I too old for her?

Or will she be too extreme for my relatives and colleagues?


----------



## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

LOL this has to be fake. I don't care, I still love it.

So you want to know if it is healthy for a 50 year old to marry a 30 year old 475 pound drunken midget doctor?

I was going to say no, but since she is so jolly and you are so attracted to her "flesh" and "dizziness", I think you should go for it.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## seekinglove (Feb 2, 2012)

No fake, but a misprint. She is 5' 9"!


----------



## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

Don't want this to sound mean but she may not be around in the year 2020.Her weight and tendency to binge drink could prove disastrous to her health.The drinking alone could mean some unresolved issues in her life.Then there's diabetes,stroke,high blood pressure etc.Maybe if you love her you can help her to re-evaluate her lifestyle.Don't mean to rain on your parade,but maybe the love she really needs right now is love of self.Take care.


----------



## seekinglove (Feb 2, 2012)

I also thought obesity was a great health hazard. But June has taught me that there is much more to it than weight. She does not have PhD in anything health related but she is naturally interested.

She says male obesity is really dangerous. Women with only a big belly also face a shorter life. But women that are fat all over their body often live a healthy life with just a couple of year’s shorter life expectancy. 

June’s mother is also fat and is healthy. I have not met her yet, but seen her on video and on Skype. April is also very fat, but looks healthy although she is older than June.

April says June started drinking with other students at college. June says she feel fine and free when she dinks.
I don’t know how dangerous binge drinking is. I have read that there are a lot of recreational binge drinkers. But I guess it is not usual to drink the way June does.

But I am worried about the reaction. Will my relatives dislike June even also when she is sober?


----------



## seekinglove (Feb 2, 2012)

And April says there is no diabetes in the family.


----------



## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

She is the size of at least three women her height, a complete drunk on weekends and judgemental. Phd or not she's a train wreck and not marriage material. You are entitled to your preferences but you have to ask yourself why you want to marry someone who is so unstable?


----------



## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Well i hope you like extremes in life...cause this woman doesn't seem to thing by halves does she?
She extremely morbidly obese and drinks untill she's rotten drunk and falls over collasped.
Does she do others things to the extreme?

PS: Also wanted to add that, as lovely as she may be, I feel she is delusional about the effects of that much weight.

When did you last she a morbidly obese 70 year old? It's a rare thing...
Diabetes, cancers and heart disease are only half the problem.
After a lifetime of carrying so much weight her hips, back, knees etc will be wearing out much faster than those belonging to a normal weighted person... 

I think you may well outlive her... or at least spend your old age nursing her.

But your a big boy and she does seem to tick many of your personal 'like' boxes...

Best of luck.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

seekinglove said:


> In the end of October I meet an absolutely wonderful girl in a bar!
> 
> June is sometimes a heavy drinker. She calls herself a binge drinker and she never apologize for drinking. She drinks only on weekends and says that she is normally sober the two weekends after every binge.
> 
> ...


I think you will be quite surprised if you and June decide to say "I do." June is being a pleasant drunk ... now. Have you ever been really up close and personal with an alcoholic? I hope you enjoy extreme amusement park rides. I can assure you, with reasonable certainty, if you marry this woman you will be in for the ride of your life. 

I'm married to an alcoholic, and what you are describing is alcoholism. My husband was tons of fun while drinking ... when we were dating. Once we married, I got to see all of the "finer" facets of his personality. It was very illuminating, not to mention one of the greatest shocks of my life.

But he was so much fun, and he treated me very well. Then came marriage. Just want to give you fair warning. June may continue to be a life-of-the-party drunk. But booze for breakfast and 24/7 benders? You just may wake up one morning and wonder if June is showing you her Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde personna.


----------



## PaGuy (Feb 1, 2012)

seekinglove said:


> Hi, I am in love, but need an opinion.
> 
> I am getting close to 50. Got divorced 5 years ago after an unhappy marriage. Since then I looked for a new wife, but online dating both disappointed me and I was also targeted by a fraud attempt. In the end of October I meet an absolutely wonderful girl in a bar! I fell in love directly! We live 800 miles apart, so I have mostly met her on weekends and the X-mas week, but we have talked every for an hour or so evening!
> 
> ...


How long have you two been seeing each other ? I feel 18 years is a bit extreme as far as age difference goes. What is her position on children ? She is 32, your 50... Yours ? Alcohol usage habits seem to be odd, could it evolve into alcoholism ?


----------



## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

475?


----------



## Lydia (Sep 4, 2011)

Wow, thanks for the laugh. :rofl:

I even had to have hubby come in and read this.


----------



## hurtnohio (Jul 17, 2011)

Please let this be a joke. If not, you both need lots of therapy.

Oh my.


----------



## rks1 (Jan 27, 2012)

:rofl:



COguy said:


> So you want to know if it is healthy for a 50 year old to marry a 30 year old 475 pound drunken midget doctor?
> 
> I was going to say no, but since she is so jolly and you are so attracted to her "flesh" and "dizziness", I think you should go for it.





CandieGirl said:


> 475?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long were you married to your previous wife?

I don’t know your relatives and colleagues. Don’t know you or really anything about you.

But from what you posted here June is an alcoholic… one who binge drinks. Why you find this attractive I have no clue. Do you drink a lot too, like June does?

You have never lived in the same city with her and seen her every day. You have no idea what she will be like on a daily basis.

She’s too extreme. 

I’m sure that you could find a woman locally the same way you found June, in a bar. There are a lot of women who hang out in bars. Many of them have very ‘fleshy’. So why not try to meet someone who you can see every day and develop a relationship with that does not require you travel 800 miles to see her?


----------



## sirdano (Dec 30, 2011)

Sound like all that drinking and over weight someone is going to need a liver transplant soon.

If this is real the age differance should not matter. Heck look at movie stars they do that all the time. My wife OM affair person was 16 year older. Talk about daddy complex


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I think with her life style and nasty attitude you will probably out live her, sadly though once you marry her my guess is you will start praying you DONT live that long!


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

seekinglove said:


> And April says there is no diabetes in the family.


LOL.... I don't know if you realize this, but you used her first name.

Both her drinking and weight is unhealthy. Who cares about the age difference. Love is love. I'd be a bit concerned over her health. That's all. There is nothing cool about an alcoholic. Binge drinking is a problem. I don't drink myself(by choice), but my neighbor sought help over her binge drinking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## PaGuy (Feb 1, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> LOL.... I don't know if you realize this, but you used her first name.
> 
> Both her drinking and weight is unhealthy. Who cares about the age difference. Love is love. I'd be a bit concerned over her health. That's all. There is nothing cool about an alcoholic. Binge drinking is a problem. I don't drink myself(by choice), but my neighbor sought help over her binge drinking.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I disagree on the age issue, sure your could love each other and there are many success stories out there. But, when there is a a large age gap, what could you possibly have in common ? For example fast forward a few years, he is 65 likes to stay home with a blanket on the lap watching re-runs of Dr. Phil. She at 42 or so want to go out have a good time etc.. etc.. Different phases of life/priorities


----------

