# Met with a lawyer



## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

So I just met with a lawyer so I know what I am supposed to do. He looked it up and turns out she filed yesterday. I went to the courthouse and got a copy so I could look it over. She did it online so it is extremely vague. It says nothing about me being able to pick up any of my things at her place and also nothing about the debt I intend to split. She doesn't know that I even have a copy of it yet, but my dad will call her tonight(since she is refusing to talk to me, and doesn't seem to be doing anything too extreme in her requests) and see if she will let me get my things and give me half the debt(about $800). There is also a 90 day waiting period that the lawyer said should be able to be waived since there in no chance in reconciliation. I feel empty inside. I know that this is what is best for us, because she will not try with me at all and has feelings for someone else. But I still love her. It just makes me so sad that it had to end this way. Especially with her not even willing to say one word to me. I guess if everything goes well it will all be over soon. I wonder if I will ever lose my feelings for her. I wish I could tell her I miss her, and I love her. Tell her goodbye. but I guess I will never get that chance. I guess I just need to get my feelings out there. TAM has been a big help in keeping me afloat. Thanks guys


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

From your posts it makes it seem like it all happened very quickly. Were you guys fighting about stuff for a while?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

It is all happening pretty fast. I have only been out of the house a week. part of that reason is her dad hates me and is controlling the whole thing and pushing hard. We have fight on and off our whole relationship, but in May, she got a new job. Since then things have just gone downhill. There is a guy she has become attracted to there(If it were me, as soon as I realized what I was feeling I would have quit the job for the marriage). And now she makes a lot more money than her last job, which is good. But she starts holding it over my head whenever I try to spend money to surprise her or anything... even though I still make more than her. a couple months ago I realized I had been coasting through the marriage, just letting things happen as they happen. since then I have really stepped it up and have become completely selfless and my world has revolved around her. She always wanted me to try, but as soon as I do, she pulls away more and more. I admit I have fault in what is wrong, but at the end, at least I can say I was trying and doing everything I could to save it. haha. wow. that was a long answer for such a short question... sorry about that.


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

barnot said:


> I admit I have fault in what is wrong, but at the end, at least I can say I was trying and doing everything I could to save it.


This is what you must take away. Listen to your lawyer and don't give in anymore than he suggests. By the way, when you divide stuff, you can have in the agreement that you get to come get your things. That's something the court is likely to want you to do. You usually get 30 days to come get your stuff, I think.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Your post made me very sad  Take care of yourself. The future is full of surprises....trust in that. You will be ok. It just sucks right now.


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## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

I am hoping she will just agree to me coming to get it and save me the money of getting a lawyer. I am definitely doing better now that it is almost over... I think. I never thought I would be 21 and divorced.. but all I can do it move on. i am excited to find someone i can have a real relationship with. to finally be happy. But first, I am going to spoil myself. time for a nice new car. make some investments. and just live life. You guys are all awesome. I would still be in tears and shattered without you. I am still picking up the pieces, but I will become whole again.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You are young  You have your whole life ahead of you.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

barnot said:


> I never thought I would be 21 and divorced..



Count your blessings. I could say the exact same thing, but add 20 years and 3 kids. You have your whole life ahead of you.


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## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

yeah. I guess I'm glad its now over later. I have a chance to start over. I have no friends my age that are married, and I guess that gives me an advantage in some ways because now I know to pay more attention and I know what i want. I wont just fall in love again and let everything happen. i will be so much more careful next time


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