# Unsure of future



## Lonelyga123 (Mar 20, 2021)

I am not sure where I am in terms of my marriage. I love my husband more than anything. And we’ve had our ups and downs but always come back. Now this feels so different. He’s so critical of everything I do. He recently started a business and if I give input he says I’m being negative. For the record, I’m not negative. I simply raise questions that are important to consider before moving forward. And I’ve always been supportive in the past. But now, I can’t say anything at all without him getting mad. So I just don’t say anything. If he asks or tells me something, I have two responses: great! Or that’s awesome, good for you! Bc otherwise, it’s just him getting mad. This morning, we’re working out. And it was fine. At the end, I just mentioned adding something to my routine. And it turned into him telling me I need to do more. I said “yeah but this IS me doing more and it’s something I can keep up with.” No, still pushes. So much that the time we spent this morning is ruined. And now I feel like my body is awful (but it’s not), I’ve let him down, I’m failing in general, and just all around hit to my self esteem.
I’ve asked him for counseling and he refuses. I don’t know what to do. Is this a COVID thing and it will pass? We have a beautiful family and awesome kids. I don’t know how to get past this. I’m trying so hard and everyday I find myself crying for an hour at least.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

Ouch, I'm sorry this is happening. Have you brought this up with him?

I get that you don't want to rock the boat, but honestly, isn't it already rocking? Let him know it's unacceptable for him to treat you like that. Ask him if something is bothering him, besides the stress of the new business.

Are there any other issues/red flags?


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

He must know that your future and finances are inseparably tied to the business and the decisions around it. It's only natural that you have input. Seems like he's projecting some issue with the business or stress of the business on to you. Not acceptable and you need to get at what that is whether you're rocking the boat or not. There seems to be an incongruity with you doing more on the one hand, but keeping your mouth shut on the other. That's not a good environment to exist in - I'd tell him that and that you'll damn well say whatever you like about things that can impact you and your family.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Lonelyga123 said:


> Is this a COVID thing and it will pass?


No. It is not a "covid thing" and it will not "pass".



Lonelyga123 said:


> I can’t say anything at all without him getting mad.


There is a reason why your husband is being defensive. He views you as his enemy, not his friend. I'm not saying this is right, only that your husband may feel this way. Your husband may be fearing some of the same obstacles you are. And, he probably knows quite little about how to negotiate them.



Lonelyga123 said:


> I’ve asked him for counseling and he refuses


Yes. Because he views "counseling" as an attempt on your part to change him. BTW, stop asking for counselling with him, just go for yourself. The insights of a trained marital counselor could be terrific and offer you some valuable understanding on your situation.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Due to the fact that the OP abandoned their one post over half a year ago Zombie Kitty has declared this thread a Zombie thread.

As Zombie cat is busy walking in the snow at the moment, he has arranged for a relative to deal with this matter on his behalf:-










Here he is now


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