# lack of sex after prostate cancer



## doe7florida (Feb 10, 2011)

My fiance had surgery 3 years ago, before our relationship started. When we started dating, he was very romantic, and sexually active. He has a hard time achieving an erection, and sometimes used prescription pills, but he doesn't like the side effects of the pills and doesn't want to use them anymore. Our sex life has diminished! We talk about this, and he says that talking makes him feel pressured, and then depressed that he can't perform naturally.
I want to help him, but How?


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

doe7florida said:


> My fiance had surgery 3 years ago, before our relationship started. When we started dating, he was very romantic, and sexually active. He has a hard time achieving an erection, and sometimes used prescription pills, but he doesn't like the side effects of the pills and doesn't want to use them anymore. Our sex life has diminished! We talk about this, and he says that talking makes him feel pressured, and then depressed that he can't perform naturally.
> I want to help him, but How?


Just a gut reaction. Ask him to pleasure you manually and orally and then tell him how great it is? Don't go to intercourse, just make him feel that his hands and mouth are more than enough.

I don't know about this stuff, but easing in via another way seems to always work to get someone's confidence back.


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## kristinlloyd (Apr 22, 2010)

Could any of this be more mental than physical and due to his feeling bad about himself then he withdraws more? If talking about it makes him feel self conscious, pressured or depressed, then does that mean he doesn't have a libido anymore? What can you do together that keeps him interested, satisfies you but doesn't pressure him?


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

As I understand things, a man's libido is related to his prostate in a big way. If he's had surgery, what you have now is possibly the best it might get. I would do a lot of research about the effects post surgery. There are other ways he can pleasure you. Another poster mentioned them. Would that be enough? I would imagine that putting pressure on him to perform would just make things worse. I would take it real slow, and allow for oral and manual pleasure. And make sure he knows how much it's enjoyed, without pressuring for more.


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