# Not much progress through IC



## txhunter54

Ok, I've gone to several sessions over the last year. I've come to realize that the solutions to my problems reside in my wife changing her behavior and getting answers from her to questions I have. The IC doesn't do that. 

So, now I'm faced with getting my wife to go to IC and also MC and maybe sex therapy. Seems like a daunting task as she has refused up to now.

How do you go about picking a marriage counselor? I'm not sure the IC I went to is a good choice.


----------



## Riverside MFT

Word of mouth is usually a good fit. You can try looking on psychology today as well for a marriage counseling. Get a list of different possibilities and then interview each therapist. Any therapist that wants your business should be willing to give you 15 min. of their time in order for you to interview them and see if it would be a good fit.


----------



## Jellybeans

TX--make sure your MC is MARRIED.


----------



## LovesHerMan

Tx: 
I wondered how you were doing. Still no progress, eh? Do you think that your wife would come here and post her view of your marriage? That might be a mind opener.


----------



## jayde

Riverside MFT said:


> Word of mouth is usually a good fit. You can try looking on psychology today as well for a marriage counseling. Get a list of different possibilities and then interview each therapist. Any therapist that wants your business should be willing to give you 15 min. of their time in order for you to interview them and see if it would be a good fit.


Any recommendations on questions to ask? When I've done this sort of thing before, they all seem to tell you what sounds wonderful, but? Do I need to identfiy specific issues in the M and ask how they go about dealing with it? Other questions to ask?

We had about 4 months with a MC (who was also my wife's IC, and a recommendation from her friend and counsellor) and I felt it was the wife and it B******* about crap in front of him and occasionally him telling me what I'm doing wrong. (I'm not saint and no friggin way is my wife either). My wife has also expressed a lot of anxiety about going to a different MC - she thinks he's terrific.

Any thoughts, comments, recommendations would be welcome.


----------

