# I just don't know what to do



## Mama22 (Apr 4, 2013)

Hi everyone,
I'm new here and unsure of what to do.

My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years now. We have 2 small children (3yrs & 1yrs). I'm 27 and he is 37. 

I've recently been diagnoised with fibromyalgia that goes along with a diagnoises of PPD, which I was put on antidepressants when my daughter was 6 months old.

I don't want to leave, I really don't, but I don't know what my other options are. Lately the only reasons my husband decides to talk to me is to critisize me, and put me down. He knew when he married me, I was not the perfect housekeeper, and with my fibromyalgia, it's even harder to take care of the kids and keep the house perfectly clean. I try to do both, but I believe focusing on my kids should be my number one priority.

I almost always have supper on the table when he gets home, and even then it's always an argument because it's not something he likes/wants etc. Even if I try something new to get us out of a dinner rut, it's not good enough.

I've had enough, but I don't know what to do. I still love him very much, but I'm sick of the insults, blame, and condesending tones that I get. We never have a normal conversation anymore, he's always too busy watching tv/playing on the internet. The only time he speaks to me is to put me down.

I don't want to leave, but I'm starting to feel as though I have no other choice, and he's threatened me that if I do, he will make sure I will never see my kids again. I worry with my health problems that he will succeed.

I just don't know what to do, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry about the long story, and the disorganization, I'm just so hurt and confused.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

If possible, invest in a voice activated recorder so you can get his barrage of insults on tape. Dont push him, just be normal. Record several different dinner and car encounters if possible. Keep a diary of the days, what you made for dinner, what his responses were. Then, when you've compiled a few weeks worth of stuff, make plans to leave with your kids. Get to a lawyer soon to find out what documents you will need such as bank accounts, insurance statements, titles to cars... Find a place to stay for a few weeks. Then just leave. Only after you have left and begun the legal proceedings with the evidence of his emotional abuse will you have any strength in which to have a conversation with him about what HE has to do to keep this marriage going. Once you are out and the legal stuff is underway, he will know beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you are serious about not taking his abuse anymore. Only then will you have an honest chance to make him understand you won't be treated that way and he either grows up and treats you properly or he pays years of spousal and child support. Often times bullies like your husband don't accept that their behavior is the problem until they get backed into a corner.

Dont let him find the voice activated recorder!


----------



## NotEZ (Sep 23, 2012)

Mama22 said:


> Hi everyone,
> I'm new here and unsure of what to do.
> 
> My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years now. We have 2 small children (3yrs & 1yrs). I'm 27 and he is 37.
> ...


Has he always Treated you that way or is it recent? I only ask because the way your post is written, it is unclear to me whether this started with your recent diagnosis or if you were just providing that information as well to explain your situation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I'm sorry to hear your story, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a year ago, it's not good at all especially when you are trying to find the right medication and dosage. I was lucky enough to have a husband that let me just lay in bed for the whole day. Which was hard for me because I'm not used to it. It's impossible some days to just move with the pain and fatigue. 

Does your husband understand your diagnosis? Please know it will get better, I'm on cymbalta at first it made me more fatigued but, I adjusted to it and I feel 90% better somedays are worse but it's bc of the weather or if I'm stressed. Please work with your dr until you find the right treatment. I found that juicing really helps with the energy. Swimming with the pain, and there is a supplemt called fatigue to fantastic that helped me with energy but, my body got used to it and it stopped working. 

Now about your husband, is there someone who can help you for a few days a week or do you have somewhere to go? Stress will only make your fibromyalgia worse. Even if you don't want to leave him please see if you can take a break from him. It will help you feel better and it can clear up what they call the fibromyalgia fog, which really impairs your thinking.

Good luck, feel free to ask me any questions if you need to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

