# help please?



## angelic1 (Jun 18, 2015)

My husband and i have been married for a year and a half now. He's more experienced than i am in The bedroom, and i was raised to be very ladylike. He has recently been complaining e hat i a not active enough in the bed, but i don't really know what to do about it. He likes m on top, but i really am not comfortable all the time up there. Any suggestions?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

If being uncomfortable on top is a physical thing, such as your legs or back bothering you, then perhaps you could explore other positions.

If being uncomfortable on top is a mental thing as in you have performance anxiety or self confidence issues, then you need to work on trust in your relationship.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I think maybe being on top can be a problem because it's physically straining.
soft, smooth velvet sheets don't help. you can't get proper grip/leverage without sliding.

try the couch, floor, or other venue where your body does not slide as easily.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

have stoned sex, it's a blast and yeah you will relax.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

angelic1 said:


> My husband and i have been married for a year and a half now. He's more experienced than i am in The bedroom, and i was raised to be very ladylike. He has recently been complaining e hat i a not active enough in the bed, but i don't really know what to do about it. He likes m on top, but i really am not comfortable all the time up there. Any suggestions?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


What do you mean you were raised to be lady like? As in, "I'm supposed to pretend I don't like sex and that I hate being naked because ladies don't get naked?" Lady like as in, "ladies don't orgasm so I won't orgasm either?" As in, "ladies don't make crude noises and so I must have silent sex?" Lady like as in, "jumping up and down having my breasts sway to and forth is a disgusting display of immodesty and I'll have nothing to do with it?"

Because if that's your mother's version of lady like, she sure as hell screwed you over!

Ditch the lady like thoughts. The marital bedroom is NO place for a lady! Wives only!

Would you like to be a wife? If so, then take pleasure in your body and be proud when your H wants to oogle your boobs while you ride him cowboy style! And I also recommend some wine and or weed, for you, you may need both!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Holland said:


> have stoned sex, it's a blast and yeah you will relax.


LOL! Thanks Holland! Still laughing!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angelic1 (Jun 18, 2015)

it's a mental problem definitely. i just can't seem to get him to understand where i'm coming from and it sucks. we had a discussion about it last week and he told me that if i don't "start mixing it up" he'll become "uninterested" and i don't know what to do. we are both pretty religious, so the stoned sex won't happen. I don't know how else to explain it to him.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

angelic1 said:


> it's a mental problem definitely. i just can't seem to get him to understand where i'm coming from and it sucks. we had a discussion about it last week and he told me that if i don't "start mixing it up" he'll become "uninterested" and i don't know what to do. *we are both pretty religious*, so the stoned sex won't happen. I don't know how else to explain it to him.


Read the song of songs, the part about letting the scent of your garden be carried to your lover. Oral both ways is how some people interpret it. God created sex to bond a husband & wife.

Jump in the shower with him.

Wait till he's on the phone & sit down in front of him and give him a good view of no panties. (My wife did this to me unexpectedly once, person on other end of phone conversation thought I had a stroke - couldn't finish my sentences!)

More than anything, be proud of your body. Show it off to JUST him. Men are very visual creatures. 

Check out some of the books at Official Site for Shannon Ethridge Ministries Store - Official Site for Shannon Ethridge Ministries


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

angelic1 said:


> it's a mental problem definitely. i just can't seem to get him to understand where i'm coming from and it sucks. we had a discussion about it last week and he told me that if i don't "start mixing it up" he'll become "uninterested" and i don't know what to do. we are both pretty religious, so the stoned sex won't happen. I don't know how else to explain it to him.


Yes it's a mental problem and one that you have to get over if you want a good marriage. Of course he does not understand. He did not have this thing about not being sexual drummed into his head.

Religion has nothing to do with being prudish in sex. As a minister once told me.. anything between you two (husband and wife) is good.


This is a terrible thing that some parents and society does to girls. They essentially teach them to not be sexual with fears of not being "lady like"

Being a wild women during sex with your husband is being ladylike. That's exactly what women (ladies) are supposed to do.

Do you know what is not lady like? So act prudish. To not explore your sexuality with your husband. To hurt him emotionally with your hang ups.

Yes it hurts emotionally to have a spouse who is all uptight about sex and/or does not want it. why? Because sex is the major way that spouse express their love for each other.

I think that it would help you to go to a sex therapist. Your husband can be involved as well. You need to be taught to get rid of your useless hang ups.

Oh, and by the way, I was raised to be very lady like. Thank goodness I did not carry that into the bedroom.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

Yeah, I'm not sure what being "ladylike" has to do with not being sexual with one's husband, or more importantly, with not enjoying sex in general. As Ele said above, being a lady is not about being a prude in the privacy of one's own bedroom with your husband.

It really is a shame that so many young women are being brought up to think that sex is a shameful act that "ladies" don't do/enjoy.

The reality is that some parents are very misguided in their approach to attempting to prevent their children (especially girls) from being sexually active while younger. I would prefer if my kids (both boys) wait until they're 18 or 19, but we all know that's unlikely to happen. 

I/we don't use character assassination to discourage sexuality (ie. only "sl**s" have sex before marriage), but rather we have discussed the ramifications and ultimate realities and possibilities of pregnancy, STD's, reputations, etc. Will this discourage them? Probably not. Will it damage them mentally? Definitely not.

Unfortunately, far too many parents (religious AND non-religious alike) tend to purposefully make sex and sexuality seem like it's the worst thing somebody can do in order to prevent their kids from expressing themselves. It's often quite effective.

Regardless of one's upbringing, sex is not something to be ashamed of, at least in marriage. If pre-marital sex is a sin to you, that's absolutely fine.

As far as the religious aspect is concerned, almost no Christian/Catholic abides by all the rules in the bible when it comes to marital sex and sexuality, anyway. Remember that. Birth control is just as much a sin in the eyes of God as pre-marital sex is. This includes the pull-out method, as semen is not allowed to be wasted. Theoretically, this would also mean that BJ's or handjobs, or masturbation by men are breaking the laws of God.

So, if you're brought up to believe that pre-marital sex is a sin, that's absolutely fine. I'm not religious, but I do believe that sex should be something that is shared between two people who have at least a connection, if not a love for one another. But that's a moral belief of mine, not a religious one.

But in marriage? With the person you love and who loves you? You have God's permission to enjoy sex and be sexual. This is the point where there should be no shame whatsoever. You're allowed, and even encouraged.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

angelic1 said:


> it's a mental problem definitely. i just can't seem to get him to understand where i'm coming from and it sucks. we had a discussion about it last week and he told me that* if i don't "start mixing it up" he'll become "uninterested"* and i don't know what to do. we are both pretty religious, so the stoned sex won't happen. I don't know how else to explain it to him.



If it is a mental issue, you are likely dealing with the following:


self confidence
trust
respect
desire for better emotional connection

So if he gives you an ultimatum that if you do not improve that he will undermine your self confidence and become "uninterested" is like you being stuck between a rock, and a hard place while being ridiculed by a village idiot. 

My really really bad advice would be to find a clever way to put him in his place while building your self confidence. Tease him sexually and relentlessly (lingerie, touching, talking, texting) for an extended period of time before allowing him to engage in actual intercourse. Then be aggressive and vigorous so that he finishes fast. Then tell him that if he does not learn to last longer that you will also become "uninterested!" Then ask him to run to the store and get new batteries for your vibrator, while you go read a book.

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

I think the OP needs some counseling. Just so she can get honest feedback in a neutral environment. She may learn some techniques to get her H to understand a bit more.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Yeah what do you mean by lady like? Quiet...vanilla...missionary....no oral. 

I like the way,I believe it was was Vince Neil put it..telling my age...."I want a woman who is a lady on my arm and a ***** behind closed doors"

For me if my wife does not actively initiate some, get into it(physically and vocally) I would feel like she was not very excited about me. He needs to see you enjoying his body, that you want him. Not an "Its OK...I guess" mentality.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
We are more than the sum of our programming. There comes a point where our own minds need to dictate our behavior. Behaving properly in public and acknowledging proper boundaries is admirable. Many waywards here would do well to emulate your behavior however, when alone with your husband, you must not allow that "prim and proper" mentality to dominate simply because that is not the place for it. You mentioned that you are quite religious, so does not the bible say that the two shall become one flesh? Lose yourself in that context and explore all that can be experienced with your husband. The "ladylike" behavior is to solidify your reputation in front of others, what others think in other words but when it comes to your husband, he will not think less of you for losing yourself in the bedroom, in fact, I dare say it would dramatically elevate your status in his eyes. Publicly a lady :x, privately a minx >.

There is a time and a place for everything, do not allow your programming to diminish your sexual relationship with your husband as this is an extremely important area of marriage.

Also, you may wish to indicate to your husband, for future reference, that rational conversation and discussion usually yield better results than threats.


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## primavera (Sep 4, 2014)

OP, you don't mention whether you enjoy the sex you're having with your H. Are you having pleasure? Do you climax? And in fact, do you masturbate and know, independently of being with a partner, what turns you on?

I wonder if part of the reason you're feeling so self-conscious is that you're not really aroused, and that's why being more 'active' in bed as your H wants is so difficult because it would feel like a performance rather than something natural. 

I'm quite a reserved and self-conscious person publicly and I'm sure there are people who'd describe me as 'ladylike', but in the bedroom I'm uninhibited because when I'm turned on all I can think about is my pleasure - I haven't got the headspace to feel self-conscious! If I tried to behave 'cold' the way I do when I'm aroused I just couldn't do it - I'd feel totally ridiculous - but when I'm in the moment and enjoying being with my partner I just don't care any more.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## primavera (Sep 4, 2014)

OP, you said your husband wants you to 'mix it up' - perhaps you could also investigate some different positions you could try together - including some that make you feel less exposed and self-conscious than being on top? I'm sure other posters here could recommend some books or websites to give you ideas, including some that might have a religious context if that's what would help you, and your H would be encouraged to know that you are open to trying new things.

Like some other posters though, I can't help feeling that your H is being pretty unhelpful by putting pressure on you and threatening to become 'uninterested' if you don't change. What's that old proverb about 'you catch more flies with honey than vinegar'...?


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## dkphap13 (Oct 21, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> angelic1 said:
> 
> 
> > My husband and i have been married for a year and a half now. He's more experienced than i am in The bedroom, and i was raised to be very ladylike. He has recently been complaining e hat i a not active enough in the bed, but i don't really know what to do about it. He likes m on top, but i really am not comfortable all the time up there. Any suggestions?
> ...



Abslotly the best answer. I hate women with the good girl wana a be attitude with there husbands. and for some reason it's only with there husbands. Give it 7 to 10 years of good girl attitude, 2 kids latter and then you here them say " my life is so boring" "I think of my husband as a brother" " we are batter friends" 

And here comes the lover who gets the freeks out off the good girl wana a bees.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

There are a thousand "positions" available and a thousand variations of each of those. Your H wants you to get some freak on, so don't worry about offending him by being freaky. Enjoy each other and have fun trying whatever you feel like doing to each other.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Smack him in the face while your on top, thats active

Seriously though, they make dice for this...

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cwssoft.android.naughtydice.lite

 https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.gamesforloving.android.bliss


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## angelic1 (Jun 18, 2015)

It's not that we don't have fun , I climax about 75% of the time. What I mean by ''ladylike'' is my mom told me on multiple occasions that female masturbation is wrong, and ''bad girls', ie ****s'' are the only women who purchase vibrators and the like. Therefore, I do not masturbate and do not own a vibrator. Its stupid, I know, but I don't feel comfortable doing things like that.... I was really sheltered growing up. I didn't really know what oral sex was until I got married and am really uncomfortable with him putting his face down there. He wants to, he's told me multiple times, but I just, idk,. I'm rambling now. Thank you all for your advice, it's been extremely helpful. And we do multiple positions, it's just that his favorite is me on top and I'm not always comfortable there.


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## Teresa1991 (Jun 19, 2015)

angelic1 said:


> it's a mental problem definitely. i just can't seem to get him to understand where i'm coming from and it sucks. we had a discussion about it last week and he told me that if i don't "start mixing it up" he'll become "uninterested" and i don't know what to do. we are both pretty religious, so the stoned sex won't happen. I don't know how else to explain it to him.


Angelic1, listen. My husband and I are pretty religious, we attend Church every Sunday, we are against contraception and any sexual act that is not open to life in the end (meaning, you can do whatever just as long he ejaculate inside the vagina.). In bed , you should be like a lion (not to say *****...), outside of the house you should always be a lady. Give yourself to your spouse wholeheartedly, not halfheartedly.


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## Teresa1991 (Jun 19, 2015)

angelic1 said:


> It's not that we don't have fun , I climax about 75% of the time. What I mean by ''ladylike'' is my mom told me on multiple occasions that female masturbation is wrong, and ''bad girls', ie ****s'' are the only women who purchase vibrators and the like. Therefore, I do not masturbate and do not own a vibrator. Its stupid, I know, but I don't feel comfortable doing things like that.... I was really sheltered growing up. I didn't really know what oral sex was until I got married and am really uncomfortable with him putting his face down there. He wants to, he's told me multiple times, but I just, idk,. I'm rambling now. Thank you all for your advice, it's been extremely helpful. And we do multiple positions, it's just that his favorite is me on top and I'm not always comfortable there.


Yes, masturbation is wrong, but not if he does it for you and he finishes inside u.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Christian here and masturbation isn't wrong.

Lusting after real people that are not your SO while masturbating is wrong if you're a Christian.

Masturbation is very healthy, especially for married people.

Doing it for each other can be a lot of fun.

OP, oral is fantastic! It isn't wrong. It is very right.

Let your husband have your body.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Teresa1991 (Jun 19, 2015)

Angelic1,

I was raised Catholic with strong moral values. I was a virgin until my wedding night. With my husband I have done what I've never imagined before. At the beginning, I found certain things like oral stimulation as foreplay to be demeaning, as well as being on fours ("doggy style"), but you know what? As much as I hated it, I did it anyways and did my best to try to enjoy it, because if I enjoy it, he will too. If I don't, he won't. And LOVE is about SACRIFICE, to give without expecting anything in return. If you truly love him, you would put his needs over yours and do what he loves. That, my friend, is loving your husband. You will overcome your problem if you do that position frequently. Been there, done that.


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## Teresa1991 (Jun 19, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> Christian here and masturbation isn't wrong.
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm sorry, but I have to disagree. Sexual organs where made for procreation, not for self-pleasure. 

It is morally good if it's part of foreplay and the spouse does it for the other. Every act in the martial embrace is morally acceptable if the man finishes inside the woman.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

angelic1 said:


> It's not that we don't have fun , I climax about 75% of the time. What I mean by ''ladylike'' is my mom told me on multiple occasions that female masturbation is wrong, and ''bad girls', ie ****s'' are the only women who purchase vibrators and the like. Therefore, I do not masturbate and do not own a vibrator. Its stupid, I know, but I don't feel comfortable doing things like that.... I was really sheltered growing up. I didn't really know what oral sex was until I got married and am really uncomfortable with him putting his face down there. He wants to, he's told me multiple times, but I just, idk,. I'm rambling now. Thank you all for your advice, it's been extremely helpful. And we do multiple positions, it's just that his favorite is me on top and I'm not always comfortable there.


About the toys, vibrator and masturbation. There is nothing un-ladylike about any of that. A lady just does hose things in private.

Why don't you like being on top. What's uncomfortable?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Teresa1991 said:


> I'm sorry, but I have to disagree. Sexual organs where made for procreation, not for self-pleasure.
> 
> It is morally good if it's part of foreplay and the spouse does it for the other. Every act in the martial embrace is morally acceptable if the man finishes inside the woman.


You can start a thread about this subject in the faith and spirituality forum.

I know the bible front to back and teach it.

We could have a good discussion on this topic but we can't do it here.

It would be thread jacking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Teresa1991 (Jun 19, 2015)

ConanHub said:


> You can start a thread about this subject in the faith and spirituality forum.
> 
> I know the bible front to back and teach it.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry, but the OP brought it up, and I had to say that. That was all. I know this is a secular forum and I came here knowing that, and not to talk about morality, but about marriage. I just brought that up because the OP mentioned it. Hands down.


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## AFallenAngel (Jun 10, 2015)

Sex in a good marriage is the most beautiful thing you can share. I was the same way but one day I decided that I would try new things and had to literally talk myself into doing them or allowing them to be done to me. Once I realized that sex could be fun once I let my guard down it got really great. Until he violated my trust. But I don't regret trying new things with him. It has opened me up in many ways even unrelated to sex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Teresa1991 said:


> Yes, masturbation is wrong, but not if he does it for you and he finishes inside u.


Please quote scripture that supports your point?
Never mind don't bother.
You can't.
You can't because it does not exist.

Masturbation is vital for developing your sexuality, for keeping your sexual energy focused in the best ways that support whatever morals you ascribe to sex.

So. If your religion also teaches you that your husband has to always ejaculate inside you, I'm guessing you have a quiver full of kids? I so hope you get your head on straight and teach all of your children, both boys and girls, that masturbation is both healthy and normal.

If God didn't want us to masturbate, he'd have given us shorter arms.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Teresa1991 said:


> I'm sorry, but I have to disagree. Sexual organs where made for procreation, not for self-pleasure.
> 
> It is morally good if it's part of foreplay and the spouse does it for the other. Every act in the martial embrace is morally acceptable if the man finishes inside the woman.


What?

Then explain why the penis is also used to urinate? That's not procreation.

Explain why sex is pleasurable? If we are only to have sex to procreate, what happens after menopause or when a couple is infertile? Are they now banned from sex because no baby will be made?

I now this is thread jacking but if you're going to spout this complete horse manure in an open forum, it's going to be shot to hell for the ridiculousness that it is!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Please quote scripture that supports your point?
> Never mind don't bother.
> You can't.
> You can't because it does not exist.
> ...


LOL! Nice visual!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Teresa1991 said:


> I'm sorry, but the OP brought it up, and I had to say that. That was all. I know this is a secular forum and I came here knowing that, and not to talk about morality, but about marriage. I just brought that up because the OP mentioned it. Hands down.


No, actually the OP did not bring it up or ask for religious doctrine on how to get over the good girl syndrome so she can shake her boobies in her husband's face. She came here, to TAM and not some religious site, seeking help to fix her troubled sex life. And your posts in particular are the complete opposite of what the op needs to hear! If she wanted outrageously absurd religious doctrine she could have sought out the Duggers and asked them.

If you want to spread your brand's beliefs about sex, do it elsewhere, please. Start your own thread to talk about your faith's views about sex.


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## angelic1 (Jun 18, 2015)

the reason i brought up my religion is because someone suggested that my husband and i have stoned sex.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

angelic1 said:


> It's not that we don't have fun , I climax about 75% of the time. What I mean by ''ladylike'' is my mom told me on multiple occasions that female masturbation is wrong, and ''bad girls', ie ****s'' are the only women who purchase vibrators and the like. Therefore, I do not masturbate and do not own a vibrator. Its stupid, I know, but I don't feel comfortable doing things like that.... I was really sheltered growing up. I didn't really know what oral sex was until I got married and am really uncomfortable with him putting his face down there. He wants to, he's told me multiple times, but I just, idk,. I'm rambling now. Thank you all for your advice, it's been extremely helpful. And we do multiple positions, it's just that his favorite is me on top and I'm not always comfortable there.


Here's the thing about masturbation, religious beliefs and this particular scenario:

You may believe that masturbation is a sin, or that it is purely self-serving in the eyes of God (and that's fine, honestly).

In THIS case, however, I don't believe for one second that God would frown upon masturbation. Why? Because it would be for the sole intent of OP getting to know herself, her body, and her sexuality - in order to build a healthy and lasting sexual relationship with her husband - something that God specifically WANTS.

Unlike masturbation (which is never actually specifically mentioned in the bible, but one is always free to interpret certain scriptures) a healthy sex life with one's spouse IS.

To this end, OP masturbating would have the consequences of her and her husband potentially enjoying a God-intended sexual unity going forward.

Without getting to know herself and her body, this will not happen -ever.

And that's the irony of this whole discussion - in order to avoid a sin (which IS talked about in scripture) OP needs to do something that some do believe IS a sin (but which is NOT talked about in scripture).

As long as OP is pure of heart during her self-discovery, I can't imagine God would frown upon her.

FWIW, I think some folks are getting upset at Teresa's words, not simply because they don't share the shame beliefs, but more because those are probably the EXACT words OP's mother used with her as she was growing up. Which is how she got in this mess in the first place. Which is why she is here, looking for an alternative answer.

I think God would approve of her intent to better her marriage. After all, that's all OP's post was about in the first place.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

_"If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."_* - Matthew 5:29-30*

Arrrrrrr?
Shimmer me timbers, I don't think Jesus is suggesting we take this literally.

_"For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."_* - Romans 7:22-25*

Its the spiritual mind that the Lord delights in, because of Christ we are not captive to the sins of the flesh, He holds the sins captive to the flesh, so that we are free from the sins of the flesh.

The sins of the flesh are condemned to the flesh, so that we can serve Christ in the spirit.

We are no longer judged by the flesh, we are ONLY judged by our desire to serve Christ in the spirit. so, even though we sow to the flesh, we can also sow to the spirit, the condemnation of the flesh does not diminish the spirit. The two are separate, and our spirit will be reconciled with a new uncorruptible and pure body.


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## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

Him threatening you isn't going to help with anything. Yes, the marital bed is sacred and God intended sex to feel good for the wife and well as the husband. Having said that, your husband should be supporting you to explore your sexuality. He will be the one to benefit from you being open in the marriage and please don't try to explore by watching porn. Porn hardly imitates what real intimacy should look like. Real intimacy should be the end result of you and your husband coming together :wink2::wink2:. Have fun with it especially if it's just the two of you without any children. Learn what you find pleasurable even through masturbation because he won't know if you don't tell him. You have to own your pleasure and not leave it in his hands; it's not his responsibility. Be open to new things, even if it means toys. I'm telling you all of this I wished someone had told me. Been married for almost 18 years and most of that time I didn't ask for what I wanted in the bedroom and I faked it which really did me a disservice.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

angelic1 said:


> we are both pretty religious


Visit themarriagebed.com . They look at sex as a very healthy, necessary, and integral part of a religion based marriage.

Aside from that check out this thread and the linked article in the first post. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/272937-10-things-husbands-wish-wives-knew.html.

As was said by pink anon, your mother gave you some bad information which has led to some unhealthy attitudes about sex. BTW, historically it is not accurate to portray ladies as uninterested in sex or coy about it!

You deserve to have good sex and to enjoy it. Have fun. Be selfish, by which I mean do what you want and pursue what you want with your husband in bed. Or out of bed in the living room. :wink2: He is not going to think less of you for being sexual! In fact he needs you to be sexual.

There are many good relationship books frequently recommended on this forum, all of which stress that men connect via sex. The more sex you have, and the more fun sex you have, the closer he will feel to you. Your notion that it will make him think less of you is 180 degrees backwards.

Our modern concept that it is somehow more religiously correct to dislike sex is bizarre and harmful.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

If marriage was created as a likeness of the relationship between the Lord and the Church, which is true.

Adultery is the likeness of idolatry.

What does that say about sex?
Sex is a likeness of worship!
God absolutely loves to be worshiped, he wants us to lose ourselves in worship, to express all of our desires through, and enjoy, worshiping him.
The Lord desires worship, He wants to feel loved, He wants husbands and wives to feel the same.

What are you saying to the Lord when you withhold worship, or let others define how you can and cannot connect intimately with God? Is that really putting God first, who are you pleasing God or man.

What does that say when you put limits on your sexual experience, or let others define what is allowed in your marriage?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I know its difficult to get over conditioning, but you should try - a good exciting sex life is great for both of you.

Try to find a fun way to be more comfortable. Maybe get one of those beautiful Venetian masks. It will let you feel like you are being someone else for the evening. Or whatever lets you get into the right mindset.


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