# hey folks maybe some of you can help



## spear (Aug 25, 2010)

My wife seems depressed. She stays mad at me. 
I feel like i can't do anything right.
back ground:
She is a very strong person. She is also a certified counselor.
We have been married for 10 years now and have a 2 year old son. I work shift work and have to sleep during the day a lot. We are fortunate enough to have family to help us with our child. I actually work 9 days on and 5 days off. so i get off during the week some. She gets really mad @ me for letting my mother( who wants to watch our son) keep him on a day while i'm off. She says "i get a free day" while she doesn't. She has had her oppotunities but doesn't want them. she says that he is our responsibility not theirs. She has even asked me if i care for our son. ( hurt me)The thing is I have actually tried to help her: I cook, clean and help out anyway i can. I still try to play softball in leagues to keep my sanity then she gets mad at me for that. I use the day off to help clean up house and cut grass and different stuff. She cleans and is always on here schedule.


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## spear (Aug 25, 2010)

oh and by the way i have asked for counsleing. she doesn't think that will do any good.


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## Boogsie (Aug 24, 2010)

spear said:


> My wife seems depressed. She stays mad at me.
> I feel like i can't do anything right.
> back ground:
> She is a very strong person. She is also a certified counselor.
> We have been married for 10 years now and have a 2 year old son. I work shift work and have to sleep during the day a lot. We are fortunate enough to have family to help us with our child. I actually work 9 days on and 5 days off. so i get off during the week some. She gets really mad @ me for letting my mother( who wants to watch our son) keep him on a day while i'm off. She says "i get a free day" while she doesn't. She has had her oppotunities but doesn't want them. she says that he is our responsibility not theirs. She has even asked me if i care for our son. ( hurt me)The thing is I have actually tried to help her: I cook, clean and help out anyway i can. I still try to play softball in leagues to keep my sanity then she gets mad at me for that. I use the day off to help clean up house and cut grass and different stuff. She cleans and is always on here schedule.


You are not responsible for your wifes moods. If she is pissed off at you for arranging a free day, that is not your problem, its hers. You can offer to help set her up a free day, but can not make her happy and she can't make you happy. 

When she ask you if you care about your son to be hurtful, call her on it. Don't let her walk all over you. If she doesn't like you playing in a softball league, politely tell her, too bad.

Be a father, a husband, and be man. Do you tell your wife when she does things that cross boundaries with you? How far are you going to let her push you until you show her you have the backbone to say, enough is enough?

You feeling like you can do nothing right is your problem. You are letting her manipulate your feelings. Stand up for yourself.

One more question, why are you afraid of your wife? That is a serious question. It took me six months to get to my "why".


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## cheetahcub (Aug 18, 2010)

Obviously she feels unhappy about something. Seeing that she doesn't want counseling, actually means she SHOULD go. It doesn't have to be a dr. Ask someone she trusts and looks up to, to come and have a coffee. Like a preacher if you're religious, or someone older an married for longer.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

That's scary: She's a counselor, but doesn't believe in going to one?

Print out the Love Buster questionnaire from marriagebuilders.com and have her fill it out. It will tell you what is wrong with the marriage that's got her so off kilter.


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## heatherlindsay (Sep 1, 2010)

For every action there is a reaction. If you care about her give her what she wants, if her mood changes and you see a positive improvement then you know you were the problem, then you should apologize. If her mood doesn't change after you give her what she wants then she has a problem inside she needs to fix on her own.


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