# Cheating



## htran (Apr 28, 2013)

My wife and i married for over 20 years. Last month I find a few love cards (birthday,valentine,new year)she was hide in the secret place from someone guy with love write like love you or wish what happened between us will last forever. I ask her when did it happened then she answer it was longtime ago and she even remember when, and she have no control whatever the guy did.She then told me she still love me but isn't like before because after over 20 year of married, thing should like our first day and just want our relationship just the way it was in the last 5 years.Her daily activities seem like before, she still spend a lot of times with my 3 children and go shopping or work out on her day off.We still have sex once a week ( i mean have sex not made love because she most of the times refuse to kiss or intercourse ). Last week i send her a flower and a love card but she was not happy and upset she said i did a none sense thing because it was not a special day and it did not do it before.Do u think she really still love me like she said , i love her a lot and love my kids too, i want to hear some advice before take serious action like spy on her because i do not want broken trust between us. Please help.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

htran said:


> My wife and i married for over 20 years.Recent I find a few love cards (birthday,valentine,new year)from someone else and she hide them from me.She said it happened long time ago but it look new to me.Is she cheating on me ?


What do you mean ... love cards? 

What is written in them?

Hiding is not a good sign.

Should this be in the infidelity forum?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Next time your out check out the greeding card rack at the local story and see if you can find the same ones.

Also has she been going out a lot and coming home late? Does she keep her cell phone closely gaurded? What new with regards to her behavior patterns , like working out more or dressing nicer to go for a walk?

I suggest you read up on other red flags of infidelity and if there quite a few you may want to invest in tech spy gear to see if you are in fact getteing decieved.


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## htran (Apr 28, 2013)

Love card like birthday and valentine card with love writing like I love you and hope I will be with you forever. In the mean time , my wife schedule just like before , she used to spend time a lot with shopping and take care good of my 3 children's . When I ask about those cards she reply she can not control whatever the other guy did and still love me.


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## htran (Apr 28, 2013)

Love cards like birthday and valentine with love notice like love you and wish be with you forever. When I ask her about those card ,she said she can control whatever the guy did but surely still love me a Lille less. In the mean time she still take care good all our 3 kids. Her free time just like before with shopping and work out on regular basic.


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

htran said:


> Love card like birthday and valentine card with love writing like I love you and hope I will be with you forever. In the mean time , my wife schedule just like before , she used to spend time a lot with shopping and take care good of my 3 children's . When I ask about those cards she reply she can not control whatever the other guy did and still love me.


Did you ask her who this other guy is?
Where did she meet him?

When you say she USED to spend a lot of time shopping and caring for the children, do you mean she doesn't spend as much time doing those things anymore?

I think if it is someone perusing her or stalking her and she doesn't like it, she would have let you know instead of hiding it. 

I know if a man were sending me love letters or cards, unprovoked, I would most definitely tell my husband about it. Right away, not hide it.


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## htran (Apr 28, 2013)

But she said she still love me and want our relationship just like the way it is


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## htran (Apr 28, 2013)

Do you think it a double love. I mean she still love me but in love with someone else.


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## htran (Apr 28, 2013)

She still spend a lot of time with our kid on her day off and time with shopping too


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Ask your wife exactly how long ago this was.

Ask you wife who this guy is.

These two questions should not be secrets in your marriage now.

If she truely loves you she will be forthcoming and transparent enough to reveal these to secrets and answer the questions.

If she can't answer these questions or won't answer these questions , then she is hidding a lot more then some love letters.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

When she comes back from these shopping trips what does she usually have.... what did she buy?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Exactly, if it was a long time ago according to her, why still hold onto them? It's obvious she still is in contact with this other person.


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## htran (Apr 28, 2013)

By the received and the credit card bill , she by a lot stuff for her


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Hire a private investigator and have her followed.

Phone bills, emails, texts, see what's going on.


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## htran (Apr 28, 2013)

Please need advice. I find out on the way home last night , my wife was stop her car on parking lot and was on the phone for more than 25 minute with someone i think she had affair with. When i drove by then she notice and follow me home. I ask her who she talk to, she said it just a customer calling for appointment (my wife is a hair dresser ) but when i check the phone , the call was not in the phone and she said it accident delete. Then i ask the name and number of the person , my wife said she does not know because it was a friend of her customer. What do you think , is she lie to me or the explain is acceptable,or she cheating on me


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## htran (Apr 28, 2013)

Please need advice.
Last night on the way home, my wife was stop the car on the parking lot for speak on the phone with someone i think she dating in the last few months for half hour.When she notice me pass by and spot her car, she stop talking and follow me home. I ask her who she speak with , she said it just a customer call for a appointment . When i ask for her phone to check it out, the recent last call was deleted and she said it accident deleted by the phone. Then i was ask for the name and number of the customer but she said she does not know be cause it just a friend of her customer.What do you think , is my wife cheating on me or her explain is fair ?


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Check her phone records and put a VAR in her car asap.


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## jewels465 (Nov 20, 2014)

So, what happened?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

The same thing that always happens. OP took the advice given, got proof wife was cheating and left her.

No more need for TAM...end of story.

Now if OP comes back a year and half later and tells me I'm wrong...well thne that will be different.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

htran said:


> My wife and i married for over 20 years. Last month I find a few love cards (birthday,valentine,new year)she was hide in the secret place from someone guy with love write like love you or wish what happened between us will last forever. I ask her when did it happened then she answer it was longtime ago and she even remember when, and she have no control whatever the guy did.She then told me she still love me but isn't like before because after over 20 year of married, thing should like our first day and just want our relationship just the way it was in the last 5 years.Her daily activities seem like before, she still spend a lot of times with my 3 children and go shopping or work out on her day off.We still have sex once a week ( i mean have sex not made love because she most of the times refuse to kiss or intercourse ). Last week i send her a flower and a love card but she was not happy and upset she said i did a none sense thing because it was not a special day and it did not do it before.Do u think she really still love me like she said , i love her a lot and love my kids too, i want to hear some advice before take serious action like spy on her because i do not want broken trust between us. Please help.



I have been married for 15 years now and I have never, ever, given love cards to another woman for her birthday, valentines day, never. To me that is marriage damaging and almost cheating, emotionally. I also recently bought an iphone 6 and my wifee knows the passwords and can use it whenever she wants.

If I found out my wifee did this and I found her love cards from way back and she can remember everything like it was yesterday, that tells me, she is probably still in contact and seeing this other guy.

This is not good at all.

The fact that she held onto the love cards, hid them from you and remembers when she met this guy like it was yesterday, tells me she is probably still seeing him and not over him either.

What are you to her then? A provider and hubby to her kids???

Spy on her first to be sure.

She should of got rid of those love cards way back, but holding onto them and hiding them........not good at all.

And she is more than likely texting this guy.

I wouldn't be surprised if she is still going out to see him for sex, texting him discretely when you aren't around and when she is out.

I feel for you brother.


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## poolboy (Sep 3, 2014)

once a cheat always a cheat. you need to start using protection. you can never tell if she'll bring home an std. does it burn when you pee?


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

This thread is more than a year old. The original poster hasn't returned.


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