# do I give up????



## Alexsky (Mar 21, 2010)

I have written on this website a few times....but life got hectic, and i got pulled away for a while. But now I am back.... and worse off than before.. Here is a brief breakdown.

My wife and I have always had a troubled sex life. I always wanted more, and she in turn wanted less. Needless to say, it was a sore spot for us. Well, she used to always say I had a problem, but I had never acknowledged it. This last march, I finally went to a therapist, who diagnosed me as having a sex addiction. So that was in march of 10. in august of 09, she said she was giving us one more year. (kinda went backwards there). 

So I have been in recovery since then... and I am doing good. i have not acted out for over 260 days... and since my wife and i are not having sex... that is 260 of nothing!

But, we are still heading for seperation. She says that she can''t imagine being intimate with me again. you see, my wife was molested and raped at different when she was young. My wife says with me always trying to get sex from her, it has now reminded her of that past.... so whenever she sees me, that is what she sees. There is no love anymore from her she says. She said it had taken her years to be able to have sex without remembering the past, and now she will probably have to go for therapy for that again. I have been sleeping in the basement on a couch since june... trying to give her space without leaving the house, as we have kids, and I dind't want to be out of the kids lives, and we can't afford 2 places....

We are currently going to mediation, and we are discussing custody of the kids. I work on a 3 week cycle with 2 weekends off, 1 at work. So here schedule she is proposing is this. 

3 weekends month fri 6-sunday 6
week i work sat, i get them tues night to wed supper. 
and I get to see them every wed 3-6.

I love my kids. I want to spend as much time as possible with them. 
She also wants to move an hour away.... to be with family.

Is that fair for custody? i just don't know.

But i still love my wife. I am doing whatever I can to help her... but nothing is working.

I know she needs therapy. Is there a way fro me to get her to go see someone special for her cuase?

Do i keep trying, even though I dontget any hugs or kisses or i love yous anymore???as I have not had them in over a year?

When I married, I married till death do us part......

Thanks for any info.


----------

