# its been over a year and a halve since sex



## dmcneilan (Aug 15, 2009)

i don't knowwhat to do! my husband has zero interest in having sex with me. he told me in july, 2009 that i did not interest him anymore, i stank when he tried to give me oral sex, i was too fat, and that is why i caught him cheating online with craigs list hookers. keep in mind my husband of 12 years is almost penis less. i have never gone outside of the marriage because he has always been able to satisfy me orally. i asked him this afternoon for oral sex in return i got told he has no desire at all for sex with me. i should find it elsewhere. should i file for divorce it has been an ongoing issue that he gets crueler and crueler about telling me i could not get anyone better than a looser to have an interest in me. that hurt me so badly i just dont know what to do from here. please advice but dont be cruel.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

start working on yourself, eating right,walking pick up some interests for your self. incorage him to do the same if he refuses or ignores you do it yourself. and then when your feeling good about yourself exit stage left.

Living well is the best revenge!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

chillymorn said:


> Living well is the best revenge!


As hard as it is to hear , I really don't feel there is any better advice, either to win back his desire for you, or even leaving the marraige to find another. You will have much better prospects of finding another if you are physically fit . Men are simply very visual. 

For now, I would not ask him for anything, he has hurt you too much. You need to have friends around you, people who can lift you up -while you work on yourself. 

What do you mean, he is almost penis-less? 

At any weight, always take pride in your appearance, whether it be clothes, how you fix your hair, down to your toenails, a nicely dressed woman will get more noticed & more respect. 

What kind of shape is he in ? Any room to even say these cruel things to you?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Skinny works for some guys and heavier works for others. There are over 330 million people in the U.S. and even if you aren't his cup of tea, you're exactly what others are looking for. I know two cops who have no interest in slender or even average size women. 18 months without sex is just cruel an inexcusable. If you aren't happy with the way you look and feel or if your size isn't healthy, do something about it ....for you. I wouldn't waste ten minutes on a treadmill or eat one carrot stick to appease a cruel Craigslist ***** shopper.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

unbelievable said:


> I wouldn't waste ten minutes on a treadmill or eat one carrot stick to appease a cruel Craigslist ***** shopper.


:rofl:


I suspect nothing can be saved here. If he's been saying your vagina stinks and you're willing to say his penis is tiny, there's just so much contempt here that I see no hope.

I'm so sorry.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

unbelievable said:


> Skinny works for some guys and heavier works for others.


This is very true, one of our best male friends has never cared for thin women- ever and he IS tall & thin- always has been. He married one of my best friends who has always been over 190 lbs + . We remember years ago finding the very rare magazine "Plumpers" in his car one time & he tells us he has no use for strip clubs because these women are not his type. I have never met another like him though. 
We need more of such men. 

Many of men would rather have a few extra lbs & woman who loves sex, than the model type who is not so into it - a thread like that on here to attest.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

SimplyAmorous said:


> He married one of my best friends who has always been over 190 lbs + . We remember years ago finding the very rare magazine "Plumpers" in his car one time.


That's a seriously smooth move if your wife is fat :smthumbup:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Go to the mall, the fair, or the grocers and see the couples walking around together. Most of them don't look like models and I wager very few middle aged men are walking around with hot 20 year olds (unless their daughter tagged along). Over half the country is overweight and they're knocking boots. Scanning Craig's List for hookups gives one false expectations. Without money, none of them would give him so much as "howdy". It's fairly easy to be thin when you're a drug addicted prostitute. It's fairly easy to act interested in a guy when you're paid well to do so and you have no self esteem and you need money.


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## EdieBeale (Nov 29, 2010)

My husband has no interest in me either. I can't remember when the last time was when we had sex. He just ignores me. I have a lot to offer, but keep going around in circles about staying. I know this marriage is dead. He has all the money. Where would I live? How? My head is spinning.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Edie,

Not sure which state you live in, but many states consider everything marital property, so half of what he thinks he has is your's. Check out the laws in your state.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Atholk said:


> That's a seriously smooth move if your wife is fat :smthumbup:



No, I am absolutely & totally SERIOUS! She was large -over 180 + when they met , been married 20 yrs, she has always been a PLUS size woman. He has always been thin and he has ALWAYS preferred Large women. I remember him talking about having no interest in Strip Clubs, except 1 that he found in another state one time with Plus size women, maybe a special night , I don't know. He has no interest in thin women. It is certainly not the norm, but I do believe he is telling the truth because he has shared these things with my husband & myself -even when she is not around - when they were working on vehicles & stuff. I seriously do believe him. 

And since he happily married her that way, I think this does tell the story.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

dmcneilan said:


> i don't knowwhat to do! my husband has zero interest in having sex with me. he told me in july, 2009 that i did not interest him anymore, i stank when he tried to give me oral sex,


Look into whether or not you have bacterial vaginosis, a much under diagnoses issue. Many people mistake it for yeast or don't realize they have it at all. If a trip to the doc and a scropt does not do the trick, it may be chronic. Read up on boric acid. Email me off list if you want more info.




> i was too fat, and that is why i caught him cheating online with craigs list hookers. keep in mind my husband of 12 years is almost penis less. i have never gone outside of the marriage because he has always been able to satisfy me orally. i asked him this afternoon for oral sex in return i got told he has no desire at all for sex with me. i should find it elsewhere. should i file for divorce it has been an ongoing issue that he gets crueler and crueler about telling me i could not get anyone better than a looser to have an interest in me. that hurt me so badly i just dont know what to do from here. please advice but dont be cruel.


He sounds like an abusive a-hole. My advice

- buy a Hitachi. Seriously.
- dump him
- I infer a bit of insecurity on your part. Once this turd ball is out of your life and not giving you negative messages any more, get to work on getting your woman foo back! When you look at yourself in the mirror and say look at that awesome human being, then you are ready to go find someone who is not a turd ball. (And I don't even mean physically. How YOU chose to get your groove back is entirely defined by YOU. If you choose to change your shape, your attitude, your hair, your career.... )

Good luck to you!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

A cruel SOB is just a cruel SOB and if you dropped to a size 2 and your vagina smelled like fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, he'd find imagine some other flaw he could use to hurt you. The issue is his need to control and to be cruel, not anything else. You couldn't jump through enough flaming hoops to win the approval of some people and that's because they secretly hate themselves and the only way they can feel better is by making those around them feel worse.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

I put up with a lot and my marriage isn't perfect either.

But...if my husband said my vagina stunk and he had no desire to have any type of sex with me ever, then I think that would be the straw that broke the camels back for me!

Why is he with you and you with him if things are this bad? I agree with Atholk, it sounds like there is a lot of resentment and contempt in your relationship with each other - I mean my husband has ED issues, but I never refer to him as penis-less or anything contemptable of that nature...I think its time to think about moving on unless you think counseling would help.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> A cruel SOB is just a cruel SOB and if you dropped to a size 2 and your vagina smelled like fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, he'd find imagine some other flaw he could use to hurt you. The issue is his need to control and to be cruel, not anything else. You couldn't jump through enough flaming hoops to win the approval of some people and that's because they secretly hate themselves and the only way they can feel better is by making those around them feel worse.


Don't hold back, unbelievable. Tell us how you really feel! And for the record, 

:iagree:


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> I put up with a lot and my marriage isn't perfect either.
> 
> But...if my husband said my vagina stunk and he had no desire to have any type of sex with me ever, then I think that would be the straw that broke the camels back for me!


More biology.... be forwarned.

No doubt the guy is a turd... but I want to shoot off on this topic in case there are other women out there...

There is a lot of non-information or misinformation about this stinkiness. It DOES happen. And it is NOT your fault. It is not caused by poor hygiene or any other such thing. And it is NOT an STI. It is an imbalance in the naturally occurring flora of the vagina. The Ph can be changed from ideal causing the bacteria that is supposed to be dominant to lose to one of the other bacteria. Docs will prescribe an antibiotic. For many people that works only for a very short time. (The antibiotic kills BOTH the good and "bad" bacteria, often resulting in a yeast infection. Without resetting the Ph, it is unclear that the good bacteria will come back the stronger.)

This issue is very easily and cheaply treatable. If anyone finds themselves with this embarrassing issue, email me off list...


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'm clear on biology (sort of) but this clown tells his wife that only a loser would want her. That's just cruel and irrational and it makes me guess that his assessment of her alleged vaginal odor is also probably just cruel and irrational.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

Consider yourself lucky that he doesn't want to have sex with you, he needs to be tested for std's first.

Would be a hard comeback but you guys need to see a marriage counselor(not a sex therapist) pronto.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> I'm clear on biology (sort of) but this clown tells his wife that only a loser would want her. That's just cruel and irrational and it makes me guess that his assessment of her alleged vaginal odor is also probably just cruel and irrational.


I agree 100%... I went a tad OT.


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

Maybe karma will get him?

Craigslist is notorious for being the place that serial killers trawl for victims. One day he will look up a hooker for sex and end up with an axe through his head or something, haha.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> More biology.... be forwarned.
> 
> No doubt the guy is a turd... but I want to shoot off on this topic in case there are other women out there...
> 
> ...


I'm aware of the biology also. Maybe it was in his delivery...


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