# Brutal honesty is the best policy



## selfishsob (Feb 26, 2021)

When it comes to solving any problem we must gain an unobstructed view of the wreckage in order to give proper diagnosis. I'm sure even the most willing participant doesn't come clean right away during any group or therapy sessions at first. Why waste valuable time? I have torn down all the walls so what you read is the entire gut wrenching reality of my sexual dysfunction. 

I have been married for twenty one years. I met my wife in 1994 when she was twenty and I was twenty five. Up until then I had several sexual encounters that never led to intercourse. Although I was proud of myself for bringing a few woman to climax during those years I never had experienced and orgasm with another woman. I don't mind elaborating on why if anyone asks, but for now lets label the cause lack of confidence while dealing with intrusive thoughts. 

What should have been the most erotic experience if my life would be instantly interrupted by a girls hair that tickled by nose. Yes, something so seemingly innocuous would manifest into agitation and a complete lack of focus. This fueled my doubts and got worse over time. 

I was virgin until May of 1994 and even loosing my virginity wasn't what I had dreamt. She was and still is a beautiful woman. Her patience have run thin with me and understandably so. She has caught me in the act masturbating behind the computer monitor several times which leaves her feeling disgusted with me. 

I do not like being the man I have become. I think I am hating myself for yearning the contact of another woman. Among other things I have been off pain killers for quite sometime which made masturbation even more of a cheap thrill. I'm all about immediate gratification. 

It's not fair for her to endure the level of neglect which is solely on me. I'm on the threshold of doing something that will hurt her even more and surely the guilt will catch up with me. When the urge gets too bad I will view pornography to quell the beast.

I already hear the obvious question, "Why just don't you make love with your wife?" As I said earlier I have no problem offering more insight. I hope to learn something that may change my perspective. 

Thank you


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## So Married (Dec 18, 2020)

First, if that's your actual photo, I'd take it down for privacy's sake (esp. if the woman in the picture hasn't given you permission to use her image here). 

Secondly, the brutal honesty IMO is that you need to seek professional help for sexual issues. You may be addicted to masturbation and there is something else going on there that prevents you from enjoying partnered sex. Porn will definitely make things worse and make your wife feel worse.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It sounds like you're looking to have sex with someone who isn't your wife.


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