# inheritance different angle



## Gseries (Jan 6, 2013)

Hi all....I see the inheritance thread, but that couple...young 20s!
What about 40 something spouse that after 10 years of marriage gets inheritance, but considers it 'her' money? FYI, she doesn't work and H is provider. Honestly, it isn't me, my BIL is asking my advice and I'm trying to be a good listener. But I'm generally curious. Shouldn't there at least be a negotiation? She plans to vacation in Europe....without him.....
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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

It is her money, up to the point that she mingles it with their joint finances. At least, that's a common ruling in many jurisdictions, as far as I know. While it might be "rude" or cause stress in their relationship, legally what she's doing is fine. And if he gets an inheritance, I guess he can do the same. 

C
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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

It is her money. Assuming it was from a parent, the parent could have left it to both, but didn't.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Yep it's her money legally unless its commingled with joint funds or property.

However I wouldn't be happy if my husband inherited money and took a trip without me. Thankfully he doesn't feel that way. He says what's his is mine including HIS inheritance. Yes we will be there. I've said it's his money but he says no way. My name will be on it and I will have a say in how it's managed.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

The real problem is the wife being 'taught' (by a husband who accepts such treatment) that it's ok to be that selfish.


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## LoveBeingFemale (Nov 5, 2012)

We would have been in a similar situation to your BIL--married 7 years at the time, and in our early 40s. I was a stay-at-home mom (still am); dear hubby works. I took a large chunk of payments I received over 5 years and paid off our home. I also bought my hubby a new vehicle. We spent on a few minor things, but the rest went into savings/investments. There really wasn't anything to negotiate per se, I pretty much knew I didn't want a mortgage payment hanging over our heads.


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

Gseries said:


> What about 40 something spouse that after 10 years of marriage gets inheritance, but considers it 'her' money? FYI, she doesn't work and H is providerShouldn't there at least be a negotiation? She plans to vacation in Europe....without him.....


There's nothing to negotiate, the inheritance money is hers. If she wanted to share it with him, she would have. 

She doesn't work and the husband is the provider. Those are dynamics that were enabled by him and he's got no one else to blame but himself and perhaps a poor choice in selecting a wife.

He's the one busting his ass to bring home a paycheck, she gets an inheritance windfall, and she's going on vacation without him. There are some serious problems here, and the way she's spending the money is only the tip of the iceberg.


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