# Husband does not want to get intimate no matter what?



## mrssenorita (Sep 18, 2014)

Ok so ever since my post pregnancy (c sec)(it has been 16 months now) even though i show interest in sex and tell him directly/indirectly my hubby would not want to even get intimate no matter what(He was like that ever since our marriage too but it has become worse now). We havent had sex for almost 16 months now. I am working out and on diet trying to reduce weight (I am 146 lbs and 5'2") so i am not overweight as well. While changing he sometimes would comment my belly as it looks like a man's. Ouch that's a worse comment so far. He would just say it straight on my face. He knows i am dieting and dont eat much , when i once expressed that i feel hungry at times, he wud say its gud that i control my hunger so it wud make less fat that way. He's always been a kind of person who always always look at other women /girls at malls or at the beach , i observe him the way he looks he admires and he scans from top to bottom. I knew it but i was always like oh well every man does. Just not able to decide what kind of a guy he is, In general he's a gud guy but when i ask him jokingly that he might have an affair or something he wud just laugh n comment something as if there's no affair (I see no sign of fear or nervous or any whenever i ask him if he's seeing any girl) he says he's not. Then in that case why is he not showing interest, huh

Update : also he wud react if he sees someone holding hands or even if its a romantic scene on tv , he says oh god all that is just for showoff n hype. he acts as if he dont care and doesn't want to do all that with me cuz he knows as a girl i too expect him to be like intimate and all but he indirectly says heck with the romance and makes fun even if its on tv

Update 2: he also says that i am always in 'that' mood and always have this feeling of wanting to get intimate, he makes fun of it. but come on i am his wife what is there so funny about it. he says i always get such dreams n all

Update 3: i even tried go for drinks and expressed clearly , i tried all sorts of things dressing up in a sexy night wear , told him directly but nope nothing works , he still doesnt want to getintimate no matter wat


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Okay #1 your H needs to snip it with the cruel comments. It's unnecessary

#2 In order to lose weight, you can't just not eat. That doesn't do anything - except leaving you hungry and putting your body in starvation mode (meaning it will horde any fat it gets)

#3 a height of 5'2" and 146 lbs does put your BMI at 26.7 which is overweight -though only slightly. I am only mentioning this because sometimes we don't really see it ourselves. This does NOT give your H the right to act like that though. Even the BMI calculator doesn't take into the fact of your body and how it carries the weight. You could look totally fine with a higher BMI as well! 

Did you gain a lot of weight when pregnant and just haven't been able to lose it? 

Honestly, I don't think the weight is all that important to him if he never was into being intimate with you though. If you are comfortable with how you look, then that's all that really matters. You're starving yourself for what? Him to not be intimate with a more skinny you? 

Stop starving yourself. It only makes things worse. If you want to lose weight, do it because you WANT to. Eat - but eat the right things. Exercise if you feel up to it, but it's 80% diet. The exercise is a bonus to losing the weight faster. If you can build muscle, you can burn more calories. But the main thing to work on is eating right....and only because YOU want to.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What reason does he give for not wanting sex? In English, please. Not teen speak.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordfire00 (Jun 28, 2014)

*Re: Re: Husband does not want to get intimate no matter what?*



mrssenorita said:


> Ok so ever since my post pregnancy (c sec)(it has been 16 months now) even though i show interest in sex and tell him directly/indirectly my hubby would not want to even get intimate no matter what(He was like that ever since our marriage too but it has become worse now). We havent had sex for almost 16 months now. I am working out and on diet trying to reduce weight (I am 146 lbs and 5'2") so i am not overweight as well. While changing he sometimes would comment my belly as it looks like a man's. Ouch that's a worse comment so far. He would just say it straight on my face. He knows i am dieting and dont eat much , when i once expressed that i feel hungry at times, he wud say its gud that i control my hunger so it wud make less fat that way. He's always been a kind of person who always always look at other women /girls at malls or at the beach , i observe him the way he looks he admires and he scans from top to bottom. I knew it but i was always like oh well every man does. Just not able to decide what kind of a guy he is, In general he's a gud guy but when i ask him jokingly that he might have an affair or something he wud just laugh n comment something as if there's no affair (I see no sign of fear or nervous or any whenever i ask him if he's seeing any girl) he says he's not. Then in that case why is he not showing interest, huh
> 
> Update : also he wud react if he sees someone holding hands or even if its a romantic scene on tv , he says oh god all that is just for showoff n hype. he acts as if he dont care and doesn't want to do all that with me cuz he knows as a girl i too expect him to be like intimate and all but he indirectly says heck with the romance and makes fun even if its on tv
> 
> ...


If i came across ur husband, i would punch him dead in the face and tell him he is a moron. Hes got a woman ( u , his wife) that wants him at all levels intimately, and hes playing jokes with u in an ugly way. Hes being very disrespectful. I wish my wife would want me like u want urs. My wife use to be like that. My advice, stop chasing him at that level. Give him an attitude of *i dont care anymore*. This should eventually flick a light switch in his head, about u. Damn....u want him, like a bee wants pollen. I really wish i had that again.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Sounds like he needs a final warning. Tell him that unless it changes FAST, this marriage is over.

Unless of course you want to accept "no sex" for the rest of your life. 

Your next question should be, if he does not want to be intimate with you, where else is he getting it? 

This ALL sounds extremely suspicious. Have you went thru his phone/emails etc? 

I would. When and if you ask, I would expect all account info right there and then. Don't give him time to go off and erase it all. And if he denies you access, you just got your answer (he is up to no good).


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

It sounds to me as if he either suffers extraordinarily low sex drive or is homosexual.

What does your instinct tell you?

Either way, he is not playing his role as a husband.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Your husband admires other pretty women, so he's not gay.

How old are you?

You sound somewhere in your 20's and I suppose he is too.
Every , normal , healthy young man who looks at beautiful women and lusts is going to want to have sex sometime, and regularly.

Check his computer / laptop / Ipad/ iPhone's history and see if he's been into excessive amounts of porn.

That might very well be the culprit.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

wow, there have to be a couple hundred million men who would GLADLY swap their sexless wives for you!!!

Are you on birth control? he may be afraid of getting another kid at this point, and may have been very scared when you were in the operating room getting a C section?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening mrsseniorita
I'm a quite sure that your weight is NOT the issue.

I don't know what is going on in his head? Any chance your being a "mother" somehow turns him off sexually? I think some men have this strange hangup.


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## will42805 (Sep 18, 2014)

I personaly am dealing with a porn addiction and would advise that you check the pc history and if there is nothing there. he may be deleting it. There are ways around that too. I might be off base who knows.


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## mrssenorita (Sep 18, 2014)

yeah i dunno why he is doin this, i cook for him everyday , talk to him on career advice, i am always supportive i encourage him to study further etc.etc. i guess may be he thinks i am ugly


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## mrssenorita (Sep 18, 2014)

lordfire00 said:


> If i came across ur husband, i would punch him dead in the face and tell him he is a moron. Hes got a woman ( u , his wife) that wants him at all levels intimately, and hes playing jokes with u in an ugly way. Hes being very disrespectful. I wish my wife would want me like u want urs. My wife use to be like that. My advice, stop chasing him at that level. Give him an attitude of *i dont care anymore*. This should eventually flick a light switch in his head, about u. Damn....u want him, like a bee wants pollen. I really wish i had that again.


yeah i dunno why he is doin this, i cook for him everyday , talk to him on career advice, i am always supportive i encourage him to study further etc.etc. i guess may be he thinks i am ugly


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## mrssenorita (Sep 18, 2014)

DoF said:


> Sounds like he needs a final warning. Tell him that unless it changes FAST, this marriage is over.
> 
> Unless of course you want to accept "no sex" for the rest of your life.
> 
> ...


I check his fone but no suspicious as such, oh well he's a clever guy though. When we had a huge fight long back he always locked his fone with pin , now its not but i dont know he infact observes me carefully as in look at me in such a way as if finding faults


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## mrssenorita (Sep 18, 2014)

tryingtobebetter said:


> It sounds to me as if he either suffers extraordinarily low sex drive or is homosexual.
> 
> What does your instinct tell you?
> 
> Either way, he is not playing his role as a husband.


it was long long back i suddenly remember that he looked porn which involves shemale something


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## mrssenorita (Sep 18, 2014)

Caribbean Man said:


> Your husband admires other pretty women, so he's not gay.
> 
> How old are you?
> 
> ...


i am 32 and he's 34 , but we dont look older both of us though


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## mrssenorita (Sep 18, 2014)

murphy5 said:


> wow, there have to be a couple hundred million men who would GLADLY swap their sexless wives for you!!!
> 
> Are you on birth control? he may be afraid of getting another kid at this point, and may have been very scared when you were in the operating room getting a C section?


you have a very good point i guess yeah he was in operating room while csec, i dunno may be it disgusts him whenever he thinks to get intimate with me , could be!!


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## mrssenorita (Sep 18, 2014)

murphy5 said:


> wow, there have to be a couple hundred million men who would GLADLY swap their sexless wives for you!!!
> 
> Are you on birth control? he may be afraid of getting another kid at this point, and may have been very scared when you were in the operating room getting a C section?


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