# Need Advise Went on long Enough



## jj1984

Hello,

Never done anything like this but here goes. My wife cheated on me 3 years ago and we go a divorce. We have a small child together. Ever since we separated and even divorced we both have not been able to let go of one another. She was even be engaged to marry someone else and they broke it off weeks before they were set to get married. After that we started to hang out but that ended because she couldnt see herself being intimate with me again. We stop talking and then 6 months later she text me in thoughts of trying to work it out again. For 4 months we talked, hung out very little and I done everything I could to do more things with her and try to really reconcile with her and constantly got she wanted to reconcile but couldn't get past the thoughts of being intimate with me again. After continuing to see nothing really happening and didn't hardly talk for a few days I asked if this was going anywhere. Her reply was I want it but cant get past it of being intimate with me. I know all the signs are there but cant figure out other than being her safety net what the heck is the deal. I don't trust her because I haven't had a reason to trust her. Anytime of being around her or on the phone I constantly hear her phone going off and replying to texts. She told me she wouldn't be questioned of what she is doing. There has been other guys try to get with her since her engagement was called off so I am pretty much under the impression she enjoys the attention to much to really try to see if she could be intimate with me and don't think she really meant saying she wanted to try to reconcile. We have spoken at all in 5 days other than about out child together. Its hard to let go because ive always wanted my family back but I just don't think it will ever happen and will always be used. We I tried to date one other person it wasn't good because she would indicated what I should or should not do because it would make it hard on our child. I just don't have the answer anymore other than there's probably someone new that has came along and she wanted to cut ties with me again saying she cant see herself being intimate with me. Thoughts?


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## WorkingOnMe

Why put yourself through all this? Do you really think so little of yourself?


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## Kivlor

Just a thought, but have you considered that she's saving you? As in, "I don't want to share" and "just in case"?

Personal opinion here, but I wouldn't try to date my ex. I wouldn't want to have to go through the big D all over again. Especially if we divorced over cheating.

Perhaps try dating other people again, but this time don't discuss it with her, and don't let her tell you what to do. Just be polite, and refrain from initiating contact outside of child related issues. She's not your wife. Not anymore.


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## 225985

She enjoys keeping you on a string like a puppet. Once you finally realize that you will be ready to move on without her. She wants you to look but don't touch? F that!


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## MarriedDude

Does she give you super-powers or something?

It must be something special to take being treated this way. 

What makes her so special?


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## Emerging Buddhist

Place control back in your life and focus on your daughter... embrace that which brings you joy, discard that which doesn't.

Let go... no new growth will come without it.


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## browser

Like you said its gone on long enough.


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## SunCMars

You will never grow tall.

You will never grow tall because she is standing on your head.

One bare foot on your toupee and one in you mouth for balance and support.
......................................................................................................................................
Go the the nearest river. Find a calm section. Bend over as far as you can. 

Look at the reflection. What do you see? Only you. 

Live for that person who smiles back at you from that river.


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## browser

SunCMars said:


> You will never grow tall.
> 
> You will never grow tall because she is standing on your head.
> 
> One bare foot on your toupee and one in you mouth for balance and support.
> ......................................................................................................................................
> Go the the nearest river. Find a calm section. Bend over as far as you can.
> 
> Look at the reflection. What do you see? Only you.
> 
> Live for that person who smiles back at you from that river.


I finally understood one of your posts!

Well at least most of it.

I still don't get the part about "One bare foot on your toupee and one in you mouth for balance and support."


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## GuyInColorado

You're a weak doormat. Why don't you have any confidence? Are you bald? Are you fat? Are you ugly? Common, open up and tell us. I'm not trying to be mean. Let's get personal and see why you are allowing someone that is evil to control your life.

You're a great candidate to read No More Mr. Nice Guy. Free download here: https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf

Read it tonight and post back. Won't take you more than a couple hours for the first read.


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## GusPolinski

Remove her from your life to the absolute furthest degree possible.

Communicate w/ her concerning your child _and *NOTHING* else_.

If she starts giving you dating advice again, *immediately* end the conversation.

If she asks about whether or not you're dating, who you're dating, etc, kindly remind her that your love life is no longer either her business or her concern. To use her verbiage, you "won't be questioned" on any of that.

Stop taking her phone calls. If she texts you about anything that doesn't directly concern your child, ignore it.

And obviously this means that you're going to have to STOP HANGING OUT WITH HER. (Geeeeezzz...)

You're not going to be able to get over her and heal until you cut the cord.

_So cut the f*cking cord already._


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## JohnA

She can't **** you but anybody else is fine? You need to believe in yourself enough to get a woman who wants all of you.


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## sokillme

jj1984 said:


> Hello,
> 
> Never done anything like this but here goes. My wife cheated on me 3 years ago and we go a divorce. We have a small child together. Ever since we separated and even divorced we both have not been able to let go of one another. She was even be engaged to marry someone else and they broke it off weeks before they were set to get married. After that we started to hang out but that ended because she couldnt see herself being intimate with me again. We stop talking and then 6 months later she text me in thoughts of trying to work it out again. For 4 months we talked, hung out very little and I done everything I could to do more things with her and try to really reconcile with her and constantly got she wanted to reconcile but couldn't get past the thoughts of being intimate with me again. After continuing to see nothing really happening and didn't hardly talk for a few days I asked if this was going anywhere. Her reply was I want it but cant get past it of being intimate with me. I know all the signs are there but cant figure out other than being her safety net what the heck is the deal. I don't trust her because I haven't had a reason to trust her. Anytime of being around her or on the phone I constantly hear her phone going off and replying to texts. She told me she wouldn't be questioned of what she is doing. There has been other guys try to get with her since her engagement was called off so I am pretty much under the impression she enjoys the attention to much to really try to see if she could be intimate with me and don't think she really meant saying she wanted to try to reconcile. We have spoken at all in 5 days other than about out child together. Its hard to let go because ive always wanted my family back but I just don't think it will ever happen and will always be used. We I tried to date one other person it wasn't good because she would indicated what I should or should not do because it would make it hard on our child. I just don't have the answer anymore other than there's probably someone new that has came along and she wanted to cut ties with me again saying she cant see herself being intimate with me. Thoughts?


Sounds toxic, I find myself feeling the most sorry for the poor rebound guy who thought he was marrying your ex. At least he got out of her trap though. Something is wrong that you don't want better for yourself, but you are never going to get better for yourself while you keep idealizing the unhealthy relationship. Seriously what is the benefit, life is way too short. Your ex is an emotional succubus, and you are caught in her nightmare.


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## sokillme

browser said:


> I finally understood one of your posts!
> 
> Well at least most of it.
> 
> I still don't get the part about "One bare foot on your toupee and one in you mouth for balance and support."


He should start all of his posts with - Riddle me this.


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## Lostinthought61

You realize xe she is stringing you along...and what is sadder is your buying into it....also she is okay being intimate with the other men but not you....that is being ****old with the pleasure of marriage...you got divorce for a reason....she cheated on you....


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## jj1984

Thank you for all the feedback. Everything that has been said I agree with and have though the same thing. My looks were not problem. She said looked fine just could get over the rocky past we had going through our divorce because it was bad at times with things we said to one another. I told her last we spoke about it that I was leaving her be as there was nothing more to say. Having a child in the middle makes it difficult of course because they don't understand. But I made the decision to leave her be and have no communication unless it involves our child. I'm staying true to that this time. Because I know I deserve to be treated how I derserve. I think her biggest issue is and has been the last 3 years she realized guys find her attractive and a good job and she feeds off of it.


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## Lostinthought61

And one day that may all stop and then she will be the first one at your door, make sure your new hot wife/girlfriends slams the door on her.


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## Relationship Teacher

jj1984 said:


> Hello,
> 
> Never done anything like this but here goes. My wife cheated on me 3 years ago and we go a divorce. We have a small child together. Ever since we separated and even divorced we both have not been able to let go of one another. She was even be engaged to marry someone else and they broke it off weeks before they were set to get married. After that we started to hang out but that ended because she couldnt see herself being intimate with me again. We stop talking and then 6 months later she text me in thoughts of trying to work it out again. For 4 months we talked, hung out very little and I done everything I could to do more things with her and try to really reconcile with her and constantly got she wanted to reconcile but couldn't get past the thoughts of being intimate with me again. After continuing to see nothing really happening and didn't hardly talk for a few days I asked if this was going anywhere. Her reply was I want it but cant get past it of being intimate with me. I know all the signs are there but cant figure out other than being her safety net what the heck is the deal. I don't trust her because I haven't had a reason to trust her. Anytime of being around her or on the phone I constantly hear her phone going off and replying to texts. She told me she wouldn't be questioned of what she is doing. There has been other guys try to get with her since her engagement was called off so I am pretty much under the impression she enjoys the attention to much to really try to see if she could be intimate with me and don't think she really meant saying she wanted to try to reconcile. We have spoken at all in 5 days other than about out child together. Its hard to let go because ive always wanted my family back but I just don't think it will ever happen and will always be used. We I tried to date one other person it wasn't good because she would indicated what I should or should not do because it would make it hard on our child. I just don't have the answer anymore other than there's probably someone new that has came along and she wanted to cut ties with me again saying she cant see herself being intimate with me. Thoughts?


You can't make her approach reconciliation in your manner. There are serious issues between you and her and it will take a catalyst for each of you to get from one side (here) to the other (back together). If it is meant to be then she will have authentic effort and desire on her own part. Absent of that, there can be little hope. What can help is if you begin the reconciliation process and see if it progresses. You would hang out more often and see if it escalates....... just as any new couple that dates.


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## NoChoice

OP,
Is your real name Stradivarius?


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## arbitrator

*A leopard rarely ever changes its spots! 

 Ces pas? *


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## SunCMars

browser said:


> I finally understood one of your posts!
> 
> Well at least most of it.
> 
> I still don't get the part about "One bare foot on your toupee and one in you mouth for balance and support."


She is standing on him, holding him down. 

The toupee represents false pride.

Her foot in his mouth? When you put your own foot in your mouth "You misspeak." Her putting "her" foot in his mouth? She misspeaks and selfishly uses his mouth instead of hers.....and it is hard to balance yourself on a pumpkin...or head. A foot in the mouth helps one to keep from falling off!


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## SunCMars

jj1984 said:


> * She cant see herself being intimate with me. * Thoughts?


JJ1984 visited me in Exeter, in Devon Shire, He asked me why his ex would not be intimate with him.

I readied the tea leaves. After reading them I dealt the Tarot cards. Nothing of interest was revealed. I then looked at his Transits, Progressed Chart and Solar Return.

I could not help him.

I could only catch glimpses of what his Ex was feeling. The signals were too weak.

I sent JJ on a journey to Rose Cottage on the western slope of Dartmoor National Park.

He was to meet up with Hugo Baskerville, my mentor and master diviner.

He was met at the door by Mr. Barrymore, the Baskerville servent. It was already past dinner and the light was dimming fast.

He went up to Baskervilles room finding a disheveled old man in a wooden wheel chair. Not finding answers for JJ, Baskerville, too, became frustrated and told JJ to retire for the night in one of the cottage rooms. He told him to come back to his room around noon when the noon sun would be blazing.

JJ entered the Diviners room about 11:45 in the morning.

The old man told him to sit in a chair opposite him. He stared at JJ for 10 minutes before finally telling him to come closer. Come, very, very close.

As JJ bent forward, Baskerville grabbed his head tightly and pulled JJ's head next to his. The old man pressed his right eyeball right into JJ's. Frozen, JJ stood sill.

Baskerville lightly hummed some old ditty.

Suddenly he flung JJ aside and said, "I know things about her. I see why she won't intimate you".

One, She trusts you....to the other men she is a warm vessel. A set of arms, two legs and a point of friction. She is not a dinner companion, a walking companion, a talking companion. She is a vessel. You are these other things to her. If she become intimate with you then she has lost that companion.

Two, She feels a nagging pulse. It emanates from her womb. That little tip of a head pushes her away from you. It seeks the men who seek the vessel. The little bud is through with you.

Three, She believes that she is ill and may make you ill through close contact. STD?

Four, she must control the narrative. It is her fantasy that must be played out. Her new fiancee would not let her write the script. So she dumped him [or he her].

Five, it is the others that are wrong, never she. When she looks at you JJ, she cannot hide the fact that she did you wrong. Coming back to you would be face loss, not face saving. Shame slides off her naked bosoms.


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## browser

SunCMars said:


> She is standing on him, holding him down.
> 
> The toupee represents false pride.
> 
> Her foot in his mouth? When you put your own foot in your mouth "You misspeak." Her putting "her" foot in his mouth? She misspeaks and selfishly uses his mouth instead of hers.....and it is hard to balance yourself on a pumpkin...or head. A foot in the mouth helps one to keep from falling off!


Got it. I NEVER would have figured that one out without your subsequent clarification.


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## TheTruthHurts

SunCMars said:


> She is standing on him, holding him down.
> 
> 
> 
> The toupee represents false pride.
> 
> 
> 
> Her foot in his mouth? When you put your own foot in your mouth "You misspeak." Her putting "her" foot in his mouth? She misspeaks and selfishly uses his mouth instead of hers.....and it is hard to balance yourself on a pumpkin...or head. A foot in the mouth helps one to keep from falling off!




All I can say is that each post I read of yours makes me wonder if you have Hebephrenic schizophrenia. Or maybe just did too many magic schrooms.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## TheTruthHurts

TheTruthHurts said:


> All I can say is that each post I read of yours makes me wonder if you have Hebephrenic schizophrenia. Or maybe just did too many magic schrooms.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk




And I like how you randomly added pumpkin into the mix. Like a bad DJ. Or a jay bird with a bird brain... or in a bird bath, taking a bath on his underwater mortgage. Mortgaging his future for a song. You know... like a jay bird might sing. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## SunCMars

TheTruthHurts said:


> All I can say is that each post I read of yours makes me wonder if you have Hebephrenic schizophrenia. Or maybe just did too many magic schrooms.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Nope.

Got lucky.......very well aspected Neptune.

Hebephrenic schizophrenia? Sure, it helped me get an engineering degree and furthered my Army career...becoming an officer, maxing PT tests, Ranger School, fighting in wars, lasting 40 years in a disciplined and very structured environment. Thanks for showing the underlying impetus.

Mushrooms? I love mushrooms in my spaghetti sauce and on my pizza.

I do make a mean pasta sauce. You are on to something!


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