# Did any of you move after Divorce?



## philglossop (Apr 22, 2013)

Hi everyone.

I'm the crux of a pointy long stick at the moment.

I've been offered a job some 300 miles (480k) or a 4 hour hour drive away from Devon in Derbyshire in the UK.

But- post divorce I'm scared witless that moving is running away from my past here- and should I just face it out knowing that I'm going to at some point run into XH?

Or do I just say- to heck it with it all, lets go. 

I've got family in the town where I've been offered work, and its a promotion with more money. But something is saying stick it out....now could that just be the last part of hope of getting back with XH (which I don't want)- or I'm I just being a big scaredy cat- fumbling along in post divorce?

Did any one else move post divorce- and importantly, was it the right move?

I'm so confused at the mo- it's untrue.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Promotion.

More money.

Near family.

And you want to pass up a win-win-win situation because you feel you owe some penance for a dead relationship? You haven't suffered enough for having divorced or something?

Your ex is gone, the relationship dissolved legally and personally. What on earth could you still owe to a postal code?

People will say what they're going to say. It sounds like you have a perfect opportunity for YOUR life.

I didn't move away after my divorce, but I've picked up and moved just because I wanted something new several times. It's incredibly liberating and just fun. New job, new house, new friends....what's not to like?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Do you have kids with your ex?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing that since he's talking about moving away from his ex-husband, that kids are most likely not in the picture.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

Lol I didn't move but both my ews did lol, one to Tucson, one to corpus. Best thing to ever happen. Move get a fresh start, embrace the journey.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

Do it


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Go for the move! Its sounds like a great opportunity, and you get a fresh start!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

If I didn't have kids, I would have been gone in a heartbeat. Great time to restart. But with having kids, I'll wait a few years till they're out of high school, then find someplace to go. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Moved to a new place with a new job. Worked out fine. Do what is best for you. Listen to your inner voice.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

OP, if you have no kids I would do it. In my case my current job is very specialized and my family is all here, I will be co-parenting with my ex so I can't move.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

kids ? if yes then it's wrong to take them away and will effect the rest of their lives.
lf no kids it depends what it is nagging you to stay.
Maybe that's nothing or maybe it's poss R with x , if you wanted that . Or maybe there's someone new still to pop up there for you. l had that one so l stayed and sure as eggs , 6mths later met my W and love of my life .
If none of those , just do IT . but l know from lots of experience and again even right now because we've separated but the trick is figuring what it is that's nagging you to stay.

l'd sorta like to move away now myself after what's happened but 1 , don't want because of my daughter but 2, there is something else to apart from the obvious.
l still can't tell what is is . lt might be R , or maybe someone else new here or maybe hopefully it's at least some sort of happiness. 
l just can't nail it yet but can tell it's a definite do not go anywhere . So , l have to go with that for now. See what happens l guess.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

COGypsy said:


> Promotion.
> 
> More money.
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## ne9907 (Jul 17, 2013)

OP
sounds like you will be gaining a lot by moving!
I moved from Midwest to the west coast.
I have no job yet (job market sucks) I know nobody except for my family but I am glad I moved as I had nobody to stay for in the Midwest.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

philglosser, DO IT! This is your time to do what's right for YOU! When you were married, every decision had to be a joint decision, because it affected both of you, right? Now you have the chance to do something JUST FOR YOU, and this sounds like a win-win-win, as one of the other posters said. And what can be more exciting than a new place and starting over? No old haunts where you and your Ex used to go, less of a chance of running into your Ex (god, I wish mine would just move away like he always wanted so I wouldn't have a chance of running into him), new places to explore and make new memories. And new friends! Old friends are great, but sometimes they also serve as a reminder, especially if they always knew you as part of a couple.

Take the chance - it's a risk, but everything worth gaining comes with an element of risk.

Take no prisoners. DO IT.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

I did. I moved 800 miles away. 

I had one daughter with my X. I took her with me. 

One of the hardest choices I've ever made. 

So far also one of the best.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I'd go - doesn't sound like there's anything to hold you back.

I stayed because I wanted my daughter to be closer to her father even tho my parents wanted me to move close to them (2 hours away). Oddly he moved an hour away but it's still close enough. 

I have an unofficial standing job offer 700 miles away. I like having a backup plan for current job but intend to stay here until kiddo goes to college. Then we'll see - if she wants to go out of state, no brainer, I'll move. If she ends up local, I may not want to.


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