# Flirtatious language and intimate picture with a business partner



## trentetrois (Jul 2, 2013)

After I caught my wife's EA in June 2013, things quickly degenerated and I filed for divorce. We went through reconciliation and I withdrew the petition. Things had started coming back into place until she went to attend a course.

At the course, she took a picture from the shoulders up with one of the male consultants where their heads are glued . The type of picture that couples paste on their marriage certificates. I found the picture spiteful and insulting to me as the husband. I also discovered two messages to this same man. The first message contains "...I miss you so much..." and the second one contains "....It is a hard thing to leave people you share the same passion with and even harder to say goodbye, the program is ended and we have to define our paths, I know its hard but will be harder if we don't communicate often...I hope to talk to you soon..." Also, she had spent one full day travelling with this man and never mentioned that to me. Since she met the man she will frequently write to him reporting how she spent her day and will not write to me. Until now I have not received any picture from the event but she had shared pictures with this man.

I was planning to confront her on return (she is still abroad) but something happened and I decided to do it via email about five days ago and stop the flirting. And now she has decided not to pick the phone when I call. Actually, I decided to confront her because she lied to me about not communicating often. She is upset that I reproached her. She is due to return in three days and we have not talked for four days now.

Was I wrong in confronting her? Why is she behaving like that? If she calls should I pick the phone or not? How do I treat her when she returns? I do not feel comfortable picking her from the airport.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

trentetrois said:


> Was I wrong in confronting her?


Wrong? No way. Her second affair in 5 months. Smart? NO way. Now you not only tipped your hand but you are a cretin neanderthal who can't handle her opposite sex friendships.



trentetrois said:


> Why is she behaving like that?


She likes men. She likes them A LOT!



trentetrois said:


> How do I treat her when she returns?


You don't. She finds a note in her empty house when she returns. Concluding with "sorry it had to end this way. Look for the papers that WON;T get withdrawn this time". Then go dark for a few days. See how she likes it.


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## whowouldhavethought (Jun 15, 2013)

I sure hope MrK is being sarcastic. But who knows.

My Advice

Second affair in two months dump her.

Talk to a lawyer and have divorce petition ready to file.

Pick her up at the airport and ask her where you can drop her off other than the home. Show her a draft of the petition.

WWHT


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

whowouldhavethought said:


> I sure hope MrK is being sarcastic. But who knows.


And then you give him almost the exact same advice. I don't understand that.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Your W's behaviour is inappropriate. I would have a serious discussion with her upon her return, but in the meanwhile consider whether or not you are prepared to spend the rest of your life having to check up on your W because of her lack of marital boundaries.

You've already given her a second chance. Personally, I would re-file.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

It's quite obvious that she had no intention of living up to her end of the bargain. She probably thought she could get away with telling you what you want to hear in order for you to back down and withdraw the D, and then when that was "safe", she thought that you'd trust her and that she would not get caught again. She's going dark on you because she is mad as hell that she got caught again.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..."

You know how the rest of that saying goes.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

P.S., you may want to get the mods to move this to the Coping With Infidelity section. You'd get the best advice on how to deal with a WW there.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

MrK said:


> She likes men. She likes them A LOT!


That just about sums it up, along with her having shyte boundaries. Pretty sure this would be GAME OVER for me, unless you want to snoop on her for the next few decades.


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

Looks like your wife hasn't learned anything from the last EA and being on the brink of divorce.

Sorry that you are here, but if your wife is not going to do any of the heavy lifting at all to repair the relationship, it just won't work.

You can't do all the work yourself and in no sane world should you have to.

Good luck.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

trentetrois said:


> After I caught my wife's EA in June 2013, things quickly degenerated and I filed for divorce. We went through reconciliation and I withdrew the petition. Things had started coming back into place until she went to attend a course.
> 
> At the course, she took a picture from the shoulders up with one of the male consultants where their heads are glued . The type of picture that couples paste on their marriage certificates. I found the picture spiteful and insulting to me as the husband. I also discovered two messages to this same man. The first message contains "...I miss you so much..." and the second one contains "....It is a hard thing to leave people you share the same passion with and even harder to say goodbye, the program is ended and we have to define our paths, I know its hard but will be harder if we don't communicate often...I hope to talk to you soon..." Also, she had spent one full day travelling with this man and never mentioned that to me. Since she met the man she will frequently write to him reporting how she spent her day and will not write to me. Until now I have not received any picture from the event but she had shared pictures with this man.
> 
> ...


OP:
do you have children?


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

No sex for 2 years...then you find out that she met her EA partner 2 years ago. 

She tells you she's not into you.

Sends nude pis to her lover, tells him he's better than you.

Won't give up her email password and gets defensive.
Shows no remorse.
Spent 2 days with her first lover in another city.

Now this with another guy?

Just how much crap are you willing to take?

Get a divorce and actually follow through with it. If she ever decided to change her ways, you could start a new relationship together one day in the future....but you KNOW that's NOT going to happen!

File.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

She went on this trip to take a course, huh? Sounds more like it was a test drive.


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## questar1 (Aug 4, 2011)

Game Over.


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

Ouch. Looks like she decided to call your bluff. Your move, but if you have self respect left, I think you know the option which will leave you standing and able to face the world.

Sorry to hear the horrible news.

SH


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

At this point, I don't think you need to worry about how much she loves you but how much she despises you. The only weird thing is why she has hung around this long, she sure likes to play the field.


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## trentetrois (Jul 2, 2013)

Yes we have four boys


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

man this her socond EA with a different person after reconciled, she have no respect or affection for you at all, if at least was with the same guy you can argue that there are residual feelings, but if she just bond with a total stranger in a reconciliation process is clear that she just don't love you or respect you.

I think that trying to save your marriage from this point is wasted time


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