# Fiance Unhappy with everything- LIES LIES LIES



## Line595 (Mar 1, 2012)

new here so bare with...

My fiance and i have been together almost 5 years. 7 months ago our daughter came along and i thought everything would change for the better.
I was wrong, let me start from the beggining.
we met 5 years ago he works for my dad, he seemed so happy full of life and someone i wanted to spend all my time with, i look back with a smile at our first year or so, then the true him came out, i realised he had issues, he constantly would talk about his ex, ok, he was with her for 6 years but he would tell me the kind of things you wouldnt tell your current girlfriend, things like, their sex life, she didnt like it deep, she was sex mad and they would have it evey night, even her bra size to mention a few! he still had pictures of her on his camera in just a football shirt. and when i asked who's this, he replied my sister, of course i didnt belive him and asked why she was half naked, he soon told the truth.
He has a bad habit- smoking. later on in the 2nd year we were together his dad had a heart attack, the cause? Smoking.
He was told to quit but still does now, probably 20-30 a day.
Ive never been one for judging but i sat there and thought what a TW*T a complete and utter TW*T! both his mum and dad are heavy smokers, so you can guess he was too.
When i was around 6 months pregnant (we'd been living together for around yr and a half) id had enough of him going out every evening around 3-4 times for a ***, i said something needs to budge, our little one was months away from being born and i couldnt cope anymore, he promised and even wrote a little promise on paper and signed it, that 1 week after our daughter was born he would give up smoking COMPLETELY for her. did that happen? like FU*K that happened, it lasted 1 day the he said im going out to get ****. A week later, after me in tears he agreed not to do it in the evenings or weekends, so our daughter could finally breathe some fresh air.
That brings me to another thing the whole time i was pregnant he would accuse me of cheating, saing the baby was the man next doors (a married 40 something with 4 kids and 2 grankids) then it was its the man on the corner, then his sons, you get the message, i had the accusations EVERYDAY. only in the past month has he cut back on it.
Back to the smoking, at christmas he said he was giving up completely, i THINK he didnt smoke the week off he had from work, but the other day he said he couldnt remember, more lies.
He's been to his mum and dads about 3 times in the last fortnight, smoked evertime, come home and i say you stink, obviously he will as his mum and dad do it, no reguards to their son who's struggling to give up! i asked him have you smoked he said no. i knew he was lying, he tried it for 5 mins and the admitted he did. I HATE his lying, why does he lie to me, i know that eveytime he sees him mum and dad he smokes, his dad offers him **** everytime, or he specifically goes to the shop on the way to buy some.
The reason it annoys me som much is that he promised to give up for his daughter, he lies to me, i know he does it when we arent here as there is ash in the garden, then still lies to me.

Back to the unhappyness, i thought that our daughter would make him so happy and so proud, no.
The other day he told me "babies arent my thing" i just stood in disbelief. He thinks he is the most unlucky person in the world, nothing good in his life.
He has a daughter, a house, a car and a classic car that he enjoys doing up, a job (constantly complains its too stressfull, wants the job where he can just sit and sleep all day) all his family, he's got money do spend on what he wants, yet he still complains about everything! he pays for shopping as i only have £25 a week left over after ive paid for my share of the bills.
I picked up a mixed fuit pack and he told me you dont need them. just because he doesnt eat fruit or anything healthy means we dont need them, he moans about getting baby formula as its close to £10. so i spend the whole shopping trip holding back, the only food we got was potatoes, his freezer food and our daughters food, yet in the freezer isle he asked if i wanted ice cream 2 for £6.

I dont think he was bought up well, and i know that sound sh*tty but the things he has told me about his childhood (he thinks is perfectly fine) i really think has shaped his life and his personality, his dad is such an odd person he was told at the hospital when our daughter was born, to put hand sanitiser on, he mumbled and walked out in a strop. I can see that in my fiance, he doesnt like to be told or even asked to do anything.
He doesnt do anything around the house and i mean anything, the most he will do is take his plate out and rinse it.
and when i mention it he says he works, just beause i am at home i expected to do everything around the house, even pick up his socks and clothes of the floor.
When he threw a glass accross the room i said to hoover it up, he didnt. i found a shard of glass less than half a foot from our daughters head (she was in our bed)
There are so many holes in our house where hes punched the wall, he's punhched me in the mouth once, i went looking for him and went to his parents (before baby) and his mum said he's like his dad. not shock but perfecly fine with his son punching me and cutting my lip.
I feel like i hate his parents, i really do, and i cant stand it anymore. his dads seen our daughter 3 times in the 7 months she's been here, we wont take her there as the both smoke in their house and would have a care in the world if she was there too, luckily we agree on that.
I am so stuck, i feel i cant leave as we are a family, i love him and when we get on its great. but if i try and tak to him he says leave if you dont like it, he's happily try to leave at least 10 times before, then ive blocked him and we talk, only for it to go back to normal the next day, i feel like hes always wantng to start an arguement alwas wants a problem, he says its me, im so annoying and wind him up on purpose, the final thing is, he want another baby, he said he wouldnt speak to me and id never have another baby with him if i went for my next contaceptive injection. and now im the lier, i hate liying but what else can i do, im not bringing another baby into this, he said it would make him happy and he'd quit smoking if we had a nother one, i dont belive the lies i always had faith in him and tried to support him, but everything gets thrown back in my face.

Please please help


----------



## Line595 (Mar 1, 2012)

I know its venting but it really does make you feel better! i forgot to mention i am 7 years younger than him, feel like its the other way round!
I also do everything for OUR daughter, he tells me to F off if i ask him to get a dummy for me as she's fallen asleep whilst im feeding her, he took 3 weeks off when she was born and sat ut with me 1 night, all the others he got a full nights sleep while i took our baby downstairs so we didnt annoy him by waking him up. one morning i fed baby and she was asleep i wen downstairs grabbed the hoover and 2 mins later he was running down the stairs saying what the F do you thing you are doing, she is crying upstairs. so i left the hoover and tended to OUR baby. When i got back from the hosp after having her he told me to sit down but i was hungry, didnt offer so i made my own lunch, the place was a mess as wed stayed in hosp 2 nights and he'd been at home on his own, not tided up. when his family came round the next day he told me to make the tea, in the end his uncle went and done it as he refused to. He is such a show off infront of his family, calls me names and the other week said to our daughter "your mummy is such a twat". 

Im so friggin lost help


----------



## Dill (Jan 31, 2012)

Wow...I'm so sorry you have had to go through this kind of horrible treatment. So many things you mentioned are just completely wrong...but especially that he punched you in the mouth! I'm sorry to be blunt, but your husband sounds like an abusive loser. Yes, he learned this from his parents, but this is the way he is, and you need to make plans to leave him as soon as possible. What if you stay, and he hits your daughter?


----------



## Unhappy2011 (Dec 28, 2011)

Do not get married to this guy! I would get out on your own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

