# The emotional stages



## Foxesandowls (Sep 15, 2017)

Is it possible to feel all of these grieving stages at once? Why am I asking? Of course it is--Denial was the stage that finished first for me. But, at this moment I'm feeling anger, wanting to bargain and fix things, depression and acceptance. I'm confusing the hell out of myself.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Read previous post for the whats? and whys?


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## growing_weary (Jul 23, 2017)

If the way I'm feeling is any judge, the answer is a resounding yes.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

There are days when you may feel all at once, especially in the beginning. Over time, you'll move the through the stages more separately, but I don't know that they are necessarily in order for everyone. 

Just hang tight and remember that feelings/emotions are not facts. Feelings are transient and subjective while facts are unchangeable truths. Try to focus on the facts when the emotions are overwhelming.


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## sputniksweettart (Sep 19, 2017)

I've been feeling like this for over four months now, and I completely empathize with you.

It's felt like to me that my wife has died, and I'm mourning her. 

In the last few days and weeks I've started to recognize that the feelings are the real enemy here, however. I'm not mourning my wife. Rather, I'm mourning who I wanted her to be; and this is a mind game that I have to find to way to stop playing with myself. It's a spinning circle of hell, and even if you're going against advice and promising yourself that you're going to fix yourself and then sacrifice your own time and energy to attract your spouse back and help them from their own struggles, these feelings leave you weak and drained, and being weak and drained right now minimizes your ability to take the necessary steps toward reaching any and all positive outcomes.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Foxesandowls said:


> Is it possible to feel all of these grieving stages at once? Why am I asking? Of course it is--Denial was the stage that finished first for me. But, at this moment I'm feeling anger, wanting to bargain and fix things, depression and acceptance. I'm confusing the hell out of myself.


Like this?


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## Foxesandowls (Sep 15, 2017)

Satya said:


> Like this?


Yup. Pretty much. 

Although, I have to say this--I had this weird sort of lightning bolt of acceptance over the weekend and even though I'm still sad, angry, etc. my overriding 'emotion' is calm determination. I can't describe it very well, I'm sorry. It's a sense of peace and I think it's because I AM making a plan that is not based on feelings but on practicalities and I have a goal-oriented mindset. I was able to have a calm, productive conversation with my husband last night and we were nice to each other all weekend, not just polite.


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