# cannot grasp the whole situation!!



## completeloss (May 4, 2012)

I was married for 7 years, moved to another country for my husband, hardly saw my family, and struggled with finding jobs because we moved about so much I looked unreliable.

anyway, he was away on a course so I took the opportunity to go back and see my family for a few months...while staying with my mother I received an EMAIL from him saying he wanted a divorce, reasons mostly along the lines of 'u dont like my mom' 'u dont like it when i tap along to music' and 'u read an email of mine once'.....

as it stands now I havent spoken to him or seen him, since november, not through my lack of trying at the time he blatently refused all contact. He was all 'lets do this amicably' and 'i would never refuse u anything take what u want' So I stayed pretty nice, started the divorce and kept the insults out of it.Now hes refusing everything, nasty emails to the solicitor (wont even talk to him on the phone) and contesting anything I say. 

Its hard enough going through a divorce without him turning nasty over silly things....the nastiness is really cutting! He blamed every issue or problem in the marriage on me - yet half the 'problems' werent raised during the marriage!!! I feel overwhelmed in everything. Its all left to me to sort everything. I cant even really put it into words how distressed I feel about it all. such a shock and surprise. 

But I think the whole thing thats making me feel so down is that it was so impersonal. An email?! Was I that bad a person he couldnt talk to me!? never seemed to have an issue bringing things to my attention before.

thoughts on the email thing? was it my fault?!


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

How old are you all?
Are you willing to say okay?
Look into the 180.


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## completeloss (May 4, 2012)

im 30, hes 38


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Do you think there could be another person in his life?


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## completeloss (May 4, 2012)

i dont know, he says not but theres always a possibility. 

We had discussed having a break before, face to face....but im not overly worried about his reasons for ending the marriage, its the impersonal way hes done it....felt like a 1 night stand rather than a life.

Im not an angry or unreasonable person but its making me feel like its my fault he couldnt do it to my face.

Oh and he asked for the divorce in Nov....we spoke the day before the email and everything was fine!! no indication whatsoever that he was thinkin about it. even looking back there were no signs.


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