# Farting, belching, urinating and crapping with door open?



## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

We're together 10 months and things are going well. She's 7 years younger, she's sexy with a very high drive and she has the intelligence and personality to match.

So why am I complaining?

She has no problems whatsoever with farting, belching, and if it was up to me she'd piss and crap in the bathroom with the door open.

To me, I think "I gotta have sex with this woman, and women are supposed to smell good and do pretty things and loud smelly farts and belches detract from the attraction and I have no wish to see her squatting on the bowl and watching and hearing and smelling her bodily functions".

That much being said I know it's a double standard because I fart loudly and the farts stink and I'll belch.. and since she doesn't care about me pissing in front of her I'll just go ahead and do it with the understanding that I care about NOT seeing her do the same.

Guys are big, tough, we do somewhat gross things, women are pretty and supposed to do dainty things and smell like roses except when we're doing a high level aerobic activity. I get that we can't always control our bodily functions but women need to go the extra mile to do what they can to lessen the blow so to speak.

Am I being unreasonable?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yes. Don't do it around her and maybe she'll stop. We are humans. You are human. Why should she have to worry about controlling her body in her home? Surely she doesn't do this out in public.

We belch in this house. We pee and poop behind doors, but H will pee while I'm in the bath. What's that about? We have another toilet. lol. Not that I care. I just think it's funny that he does that. Every time.

Farting is funny, just so long as it's not during sexy time. But we have kids who fart like it's a sport. They say excuse me, but they still die laughing. the dogs fart too. It's rather gross. We try NOT to do it, but sometimes it's just not possible. Why should I, as a woman, sit here DYING from gas, while my husband can bust ass whenever he feels like it? It goes both ways. 

Pooping is NOT for show.. Gawd no.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Sounds like you are only compatible in sex?


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Just because something bothers you doesn't mean it bothers her, and vice versa. Ask her what she wants, and ask if she's willing to keep you from seeing what you don't want to see. 

Do you have a double standard? Yes. Is it unreasonable? That's between you and whoever you're interacting with on it. If that was me, I'd expect you to give the same courtesy you're asking for.


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## TrustInUs (Sep 9, 2012)

Just tell her that you don't find it sexy when she uses the bathroom in front of you. 

Burping and farting? Well we all have bodily functions but if you want her to keep hers to herself, you should do the same.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Once a couple starts spending 24/7 around one another, then you have to accept that as a healthy human being they are going to be smelly from time to time. My fiance and I agree that if we fart in bed, it must be under the covers. When we're awake, we fart in open spaces where the air can dissipate.

A red flag in the relationship would be when your partner makes a point of farting in small spaces, like in the elevator. My sister, a few years before her exH asked for a divorce, complained that her husband would regularly wait until they got in the car; with the windows rolled up and the air conditioner, he would then fart.......she figured later on that her exH was having an affair for 6 years before he asked for a divorce.


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## Jimena (May 28, 2012)

Peeing and burping are no big deal, farts we hold in sometimes but do expell them often to be humerous, poop is ALWAYS behind closed doors. We had a very frank conversation about this the first week we were married.


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

If you want to keep your ideas about women being 'dainty', clean, rosy, pretty, and little, then don't live with one, marry one, have a baby with one, or grow old with one.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Farting, burping and pooping aren't supposed to be sexy..are you having trouble separating sex and/or sexiness from bodily functions?

Just tell her your concern and ask if she can close the door, if she fails to listen to you then maybe you have a problem.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> Sounds like you are only compatible in sex?


Compatibility is not an issue for us. We have great times together.

The only thing I'd prefer not to share with her is smart felling.. I mean "fart smelling".



that_girl said:


> Yes. Don't do it around her and maybe she'll stop.





KathyBatesel said:


> I'd expect you to give the same courtesy you're asking for.


That's my strategy going forward.




Jane_Doe said:


> If you want to keep your ideas about women being 'dainty', clean, rosy, pretty, and little, then don't live with one, marry one, have a baby with one, or grow old with one.


Too late for that.



NextTimeAround said:


> A red flag in the relationship would be when your partner makes a point of farting in small spaces, like in the elevator.....she figured later on that her exH was having an affair for 6 years before he asked for a divorce.


Farting in confined spaces because of an affair!










Brilliant!

I never considered that one.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh yea, childbirth. lol. That was a huge eye opener for H. Got much props from him for that one.


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## bobby5 (Mar 21, 2011)

You can talk to her about it if you are prepared to change your behaviour but if you introduce a double standard now dont be upset if she does the same later. Such as I can see other guys but you cant cause you can burp and I cant. I think your question is a silly as my answer. Tell her you will change your behaviour and you would like her to do likewise. PS Farting and burping can be funny for a short time and at a very immature level. it in never attractive in a mon or woman.
Id like to see what you have to say about a real problem 
Here it is http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...counseling-end-all-hope-me-help-new-post.html


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Oh yea, childbirth. lol. That was a huge eye opener for H. Got much props from him for that one.


I got past that one with my now exwife.

Saw the birth, the afterbirth, the Ob/gyn flopping her uterus on top of her belly after the birth and zapping the fibroids with some sort of taser gun, I can STILL smell them burning as I type this.

I got past all that. Even after watching the episiotomy and thinking "I'm going to stick my d-ick back in there again some day?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

H just stood near my head like this : 

hahahaha

But in regards to your wife now, just talk to her, but don't make a big deal out of it. She's human.

When I had horrible IBS, I always had gas. Painful, bloating, cramping gas. If I had held that in, I would have died. H didn't care, he felt bad for me. 

Get a dog and blame it on him :rofl: That's what we do around here.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

bobby5 said:


> Id like to see what you have to say about a real problem
> Here it is http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...counseling-end-all-hope-me-help-new-post.html


Nice thread jack to advertise your own story..but ok I'll bite.

Your ex is separated from you 3 years and doesn't have the slightest bit of love or attraction for you. It's over. Who cares if you go to therapy and the counselor "lets her off the hook" by saying it's over.

It's already over. It HAS been over, for years. Time to let her go.

Question. Did she lose her attraction for you because you belched and farted in confined spaces?


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

that_girl said:


> But in regards to your wife now, just talk to her, but don't make a big deal out of it. She's human.


she's not my wife, she's my gf of 10 months.



that_girl said:


> Get a dog and blame it on him :rofl: That's what we do around here.


I have a dog. Just last night when the smell hit me I looked at the dog, frowned a bit, and then she said.. it wasn't the dog, and started laughing.

That's when I knew we had a problem.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Aww well, talk to her then. Gf or not. 

And yea, farts are funny. I was with a guy who didn't like farts and wouldn't allow me to fart and acted so grossed out when I did (even in childbirth). Screw that guy. lol. seriously. Dont' be that guy.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Yes. Don't do it around her and maybe she'll stop. We are humans. You are human. Why should she have to worry about controlling her body in her home? Surely she doesn't do this out in public.
> 
> We belch in this house. We pee and poop behind doors, but H will pee while I'm in the bath. What's that about? We have another toilet. lol. Not that I care. I just think it's funny that he does that. Every time.
> 
> ...


The second fart thread of the day!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Conrad said:


> The second fart thread of the day!


There was a first? :scratchhead:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Were you under the impression that she was the only human life form that didn't belch, fart, urinate, or defecate? Would you rather her leave your bathroom door opened or some other guy's?


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Were you under the impression that she was the only human life form that didn't belch, fart, urinate, or defecate?


I get that she farts.

I guess that I didn't expect them to smell so BAD.












unbelievable said:


> Would you rather her leave your bathroom door opened or some other guy's?


I think mine.

Let's see what happens after Christmas dinner.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Aww well, talk to her then. Gf or not.


I talked to her. She thinks it's hilarious. I think she pushed them out with greater effort after I did. 



that_girl said:


> I was with a guy who didn't like farts and wouldn't allow me to fart and acted so grossed out when I did (even in childbirth). Screw that guy. lol. seriously. Dont' be that guy.


I'll try.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, if you ARE that guy, then find a girl who is the same.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Stay with her a few decades. Worse things can come out of females.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Stay with her a few decades. Worse things can come out of females.


That's what I'm worried about!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

You're worried about her human/bodily functions in decades to come?

:scratchhead:

Maybe she isnt' the one for you.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Awesome Fart Sounds + Download Link - YouTube

Sorry, Sharkeey. I thot comptibilty ment all ereas of relayshonshep.

Abuv posted ta keep wit da theam.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

that_girl said:


> You're worried about her human/bodily functions in decades to come?
> 
> :scratchhead:
> 
> Maybe she isnt' the one for you.


I guess that's always a possibility.

I'm going to go with "Honey I'm going to do the best I can not to fart or belch around you, nor will I use the bathroom with the door open and I'll ask that you do the same".

Disregard for my request may result in further relationship difficulties..



2ntnuf said:


> Sorry, Sharkeey. I thot comptibilty ment all ereas of relayshonshep.
> 
> Abuv posted ta keep wit da theam.


I doubt any two people are compatible in all areas.

It's a matter of what your dealbreakers are and what redeeming qualities your partner may have to offset the negatives.


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## SomeDamagedGoods (Nov 11, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Were you under the impression that she was the only human life form that didn't belch, fart, urinate, or defecate? Would you rather her leave your bathroom door opened or some other guy's?


Grew up with only brothers - didn't know girls pooped. :yawn2:


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## Illbehisfoolagain (May 7, 2012)

Does she have an underlying health problem? Does she have a poor diet (lots of cheap, processed food), or eat lots of spicy foods, or lots of veggies? Too much roughage can do that too. Yeah farts happen, but they shouldn't be so extreme all the time. 

In my early 20s I had a boyfriend who's mom and her husband would have faring contests with each other. It seriously freaked me out. On the other hand though, I am quite jealous of people like that, for being so comfortable with themselves. I can't even pee with someone else in the bathroom!


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## AwfullyGuilty (Oct 29, 2012)

Am I the only one who find this thread funny? 
I just could not stop laughing. Sorry. 

Now seriously. I do understand why it bothers you. It just doesn't go together with perfect, beautiful and sexi woman. 
But most of us do that. 
I do not like to see my naked husband sitting on his tron, pushing like there is no tomorrow but he always does that. Every morning. 

Did she ever "farted" under bed sheets and then put them over your head like she wanted to share something "special" with you? If yes, then you may have a problem too. 
LOL


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

sharkeey said:


> Am I being unreasonable?


Yes. And silly. I mean who care about this stuff?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

OP, you need to lighten up IMHO. Girls have the same bodily functions as guys. The only issue you may have is closing the door before you go to the bathroom. If you are letting it all out, then she has every right as well. 

LOL reminds me of this thread... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/60047-farting-guy-power-struggles-what.html


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

An ocassional fart or burp I can see, but going to the bathroom in front of others I could do without. Especially #2 (ha ha..he said number two; that's adorable). More importantly someone I'm sexually attracted to. It's not an embarrasment issue. It's more courtesy.

In 24 years of knowing my wife, I have never ever once heard her fart. I tell our kids she's gonna explode one day cuz she never farts. My daughters and I don't normally hold back.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

If I have told someone who I am intimate with that I do not like when they do these things in my presence and they continue, they have a problem with me.

There has to be a modicum of respect for yourself and your partner before anything else can move forward.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

I just read the title. Two words crossed my mind. "HeII naw!"


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Put a box of Beano or GasX in her Christmas stocking. Also some acid reflux meds might help too.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

women fart?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> women fart?


No. They don't. Hasn't a woman told you this? You didn't believe her? Shame, shame.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

While we're on the subject of farting, I cut a big one earlier this morning. It even made my cat jump! It was such a relief too, better out than in I always say! :smthumbup:


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## bbrad (May 30, 2012)

If that is all you have to complain about, you have it easy.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Better to be in shame than in pain...


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

With my exH, I remember trying to make sense of why he was, well, seemingly so infatuated with the wife of one of his friends, 

of the the few things he told me....... he told that one weekend he was staying with the friend's family (he was 26 at the time) and while he and his (male) friend from university were in the bathroom brushing their teeth, he said that his friend's wife came in and used the toilet...... not a separate room.

I always wondered if he thought that was hot.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I listened to a radio call in show where the expert surmised that this is one of the issues that cause long term partners to lose attraction to one another. Her theory is that we should continue to treat our spouses the same when we're married as we did were dating. When we were dating we held doors open, complimented appearance, were discrete about bodily functions etc. This makes us more attractive to one another. 

Oddly that advice was kind of contrary to what I thought at one time. I had thought being married meant getting comfortable enough not to be concerned about these things any longer. The advice when presented this way made me rethink it. If you want your marriage to have the same passion as your relationship did when you were dating it makes sense to approach it the same way.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Satya said:


> No, they explode.


I wish that would happen to my mother-in-law


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## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

MaritimeGuy said:


> I listened to a radio call in show where the expert surmised that this is one of the issues that cause long term partners to lose attraction to one another. Her theory is that we should continue to treat our spouses the same when we're married as we did were dating. When we were dating we held doors open, complimented appearance, were discrete about bodily functions etc. This makes us more attractive to one another.
> 
> Oddly that advice was kind of contrary to what I thought at one time. I had thought being married meant getting comfortable enough not to be concerned about these things any longer. The advice when presented this way made me rethink it. If you want your marriage to have the same passion as your relationship did when you were dating it makes sense to approach it the same way.


That advice is good for many people (not all, as this thread has shown). My ex was very polite when we were dating. After we married, well as the saying goes - the sh*t hit the fan! There was no more politeness. He would burp, fart LOUDLY, urinate is front of me and the only thing he did do was close the door to poop (thank Gawd!). I have to say that it did gross me out. I wasn't raised with that, even having an older brother, and it freaked me out. I told him several times how I felt but he would just laugh and do it again. Now I understand that sometimes things slip and I don't want anyone to be in pain, but I would expect that if he knew what was coming, that he would get up and go in the other room. Nope! It was a joke to him. My attraction for him also slipped tremendously and I think it was almost more the lack of consideration for me than the actual farting and burping. 

I hope your plan to change your ways also gets her motivated, sharkeey. It sucks to be disregarded.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

MaritimeGuy said:


> I listened to a radio call in show where the expert surmised that this is one of the issues that cause long term partners to lose attraction to one another.


Now that makes sense.



in my tree said:


> I hope your plan to change your ways also gets her motivated, sharkeey. It sucks to be disregarded.


So do I but I doubt it.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

If she won't take you seriously then maybe its time to move on. As silly as this topic may seem for people, this issue can cause a loss of attraction if the op isn't on the same page. I should know. I have always been the type of woman who farts or burps when she needed, and my ex used to complain telling me he didn't think women in general should do that around their other half. We broke up after 3 years because he 'Fell out of love' with me and wasn't 'attracted to' me anymore. I am now married to wonderful man who farts and burps about the same as I do and we are very happy! One little thing can manifest and wreck an otherwise good relationship, we can't waste time being unhappy...


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I'm clutching my head in horror


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

> Am I being unreasonable?


Does she think it's unreasonable? Because that's what matters.

For me, all the things you listed are things that _both_ genders should do in private. The occasional involuntary bit of flatulence is normal, but deliberately doing those things in front of others is, IMO, offensive. 

There's nothing uniquely masculine about farting, belching, urinating or defecating.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If I had to get up and leave the room everytime I had gas, my husband would have never seen me. :rofl: Thankfully, being gluten free has helped a TON. But...it was just something I couldn't control. I wish I could! but alas...


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

in my tree said:


> My attraction for him also slipped tremendously and I think it was almost more the lack of consideration for me than the actual farting and burping.


I think this is a key part of this issue.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

For most people, gas can be controlled reasonably well simply by cutting out those foods that cause the problems. Awhile back in my marriage I had a fairly consistent issue with gas that my wife had issues with. For the past several years I'm not nearly as bad as i used to be. For me, my biggest problem was drinking soda. Very easy to belch a lot with soda, but it also caused me to have wicked farts too - especially colas. I rarely drink soda anymore and we don't buy it for the house. In most cases, the excess gas will be due to a specific food or beverage that your body may not be able to tolerate like it used to. 

I'd lay odds that 50% of the women on TAM who have attraction issues with their husbands over gas is due to him drinking beer. I've never been into beer much, but many guys love it.


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## StoneAngel (Oct 10, 2012)

OP what happened to being mannered? Manners are not gender specific. IMO the double standard is unreasonable. 

Constantly farting or belching is disrespectful regardless of who is doing it. For me it is no different than someone with poor table manners. If my date couldn't chew with his mouth closed, slurpped, and opted to eat with his hands (because it is more natural) it would be a deal breaker for me.
I think it is great that there is a comfort between the two of you and that no one is rendered humiliated if one "slips" out, but my goodness comfort does not mean manners are no longer required.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I don't care how long you've been married, leave a little mystery dammit!


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Breaking the barrier....

Breaking the Barrier - YouTube


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

This is me said:


> Breaking the barrier....
> 
> Breaking the Barrier - YouTube


too funny


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

MaritimeGuy said:


> I listened to a radio call in show where the expert surmised that this is one of the issues that cause long term partners to lose attraction to one another. Her theory is that we should continue to treat our spouses the same when we're married as we did were dating. When we were dating we held doors open, complimented appearance, were discrete about bodily functions etc. This makes us more attractive to one another.
> 
> Oddly that advice was kind of contrary to what I thought at one time. I had thought being married meant getting comfortable enough not to be concerned about these things any longer. The advice when presented this way made me rethink it. If you want your marriage to have the same passion as your relationship did when you were dating it makes sense to approach it the same way.


While this seems like a great idea in theory, it's not so realistic in real life. For my husband and I, we only have one bathroom at our place. If he or I are getting ready for the day and the other has to go the bathroom, then it's bound to happen in front of one another. We're human, if you have to go you have to go. Also, I don't know about others, but I wouldn't want to go back to holding in a fart and having cramping pain just to seem more "lady like" to my husband. Add in being pregnant and I am more gassy than normal. Neither of us would purposefully try to smell up a room, but at the same time we won't try to hold it all in and hide it from one another. I am so glad that my husband has never had a problem with any of it. Bodily functions happen for men and women, it's not uniquely a male thing to burp, fart, urinate, and defecate.


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## kate542 (Jul 25, 2012)

Why would anyone want to share their bodily functions in the bathroom with someone else, gross.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Again, just because there is a social double standard, doesn't mean that people need to go out of their way to reinforce it in their personal lives. 

If you want to change the conduct about this, you need to agree to do so yourself as well. I think if you told this smart, sexy woman that she needs to do things "because she's a woman" that might or might not go over so well. I wouldn't bring gender into it, but that its something that you feel is affecting your relationship, so that you should both work on being more polite.


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