# How many dates before sex?



## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

I've been seeing a woman for three weeks now and we've been on 5 dates. I really like her and I think she feels the same way to me.

She's much more interesting to talk to than any other girl/woman I've known. I feel real chemistry.

I wouldn't mind just getting to know each other more. But should their be more physical attraction? If she likes me as much as she says she does, should she have initiated something by now or should I have? Would you be trying to get intimate by this point?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ntamph said:


> I've been seeing a woman for three weeks now and we've been on 5 dates. I really like her and I think she feels the same way to me.


You've already violated the "3 date" rule. The "3 date" rule is a bro-science players rule. If you haven't penetrated by the "3rd date" to move on and/or de-prioritize.



ntamph said:


> She's much more interesting to talk to than any other girl/woman I've known. I feel real chemistry.
> 
> I wouldn't mind just getting to know each other more. But should their be more physical attraction? If she likes me as much as she says she does, should she have initiated something by now or should I have? Would you be trying to get intimate by this point?


Don't try, just do it. Kiss her, put your hand on her thigh. Mention something sexual.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Try looking here for some more insight...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/life-after-divorce/137673-how-many-dates-before-sex.html


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

=/

Though I would generally advise the "3-date rule" I would encourage a more open-mind as each woman and situation will be different, never rush the first kiss.

However, I would definitely advise that you push the physical barrier as soon as possible. Hold her while you two are together, if you are sitting together put your arms around her, and eventually as Trevion suggested run your hands along her thigh, especially inner thigh and see what happens.


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

treyvion said:


> You've already violated the "3 date" rule. The "3 date" rule is a bro-science players rule. If you haven't penetrated by the "3rd date" to move on and/or de-prioritize.
> 
> 
> 
> Don't try, just do it. Kiss her, put your hand on her thigh. Mention something sexual.


Really? I actually think it's gonna happen on Friday (date #6). She wants to be over my house *early* and her kids will be with grandparents the entire weekend.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

ntamph said:


> I've been seeing a woman for three weeks now and we've been on 5 dates. I really like her and I think she feels the same way to me.
> 
> She's much more interesting to talk to than any other girl/woman I've known. I feel real chemistry.
> 
> I wouldn't mind just getting to know each other more. But should their be more physical attraction? If she likes me as much as she says she does, should she have initiated something by now or should I have? Would you be trying to get intimate by this point?


I would never initiate the first physical encounter, Ntamph. I'm old school and like the man to make the first move.

I know things are different these days, but for me the 3 Date Rule simply wouldn't work. I like to get to know a man really well before becoming intimate with him, and take my time doing so.

At this stage I think you could be making some physical overtures, though, and gauging her response. One step at a time and be guided by her responses.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

ntamph said:


> I've been seeing a woman for three weeks now and we've been on 5 dates. I really like her and I think she feels the same way to me.
> 
> She's much more interesting to talk to than any other girl/woman I've known. I feel real chemistry.
> 
> I wouldn't mind just getting to know each other more. But should their be more physical attraction? If she likes me as much as she says she does, should she have initiated something by now or should I have? Would you be trying to get intimate by this point?


Have you held her hand? Kissed her? Put your arm around her shoulders? You should do those if you haven't already, before worrying about when to have sex.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Just whip it out and slap her left and right with ya twanger! Will probably have her slap you left and right with her FIST but all good


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Like I said in post #5, I think she's already made up her mind.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

She's made it easy for you, so no excuses! Slap her with ya twanger!


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> She's made it easy for you, so no excuses! Slap her with ya twanger!


What I've learned about the Anglosphere outside the USA from TAM:

1. British men call their penises "gentleman's sausage."
2. Australian men call their penises "twangers."

I have an Australian uncle. I want to tell him the new word I learned when he calls on Christmas!


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

ntamph said:


> Like I said in post #5, I think she's already made up her mind.


Not necessarily about having sex... She could be wanting you to woo her, so don't expect everything to happen all at once.

Communication is important at this stage, OP...


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> Not necessarily about having sex... She could be wanting you to woo her, so don't expect everything to happen all at once.
> 
> Communication is important at this stage, OP...


I will.

I have good reasons to think that it will happen though.

I really, really, really want to impress her.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ntamph said:


> What I've learned about the Anglosphere outside the USA from TAM:
> 
> 1. British men call their penises "gentleman's sausage."
> 2. Australian men call their penises "twangers."
> ...


Actually, I learnt the word "twanger" from a British TV show :rofl:


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## MagnificentEddy (Nov 15, 2012)

Ntamph, I think this third date "rule" that you have "violated" is an immature pile of teststerone fuelled frat-boy crap, that should have no place in ones thinking if embarked on a serious relationship. Hold your course - get to know her, let her get to know you, and do what feels right when it feels right. Neither of you should feel pressure from the expectations of others or what others call normal. Normal is whatever the two of you agree on.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

MagnificentEddy said:


> Ntamph, I think this third date "rule" that you have "violated" is an immature pile of teststerone fuelled frat-boy crap, that should have no place in ones thinking if embarked on a serious relationship. Hold your course - get to know her, let her get to know you, and do what feels right when it feels right. Neither of you should feel pressure from the expectations of others or what others call normal. Normal is whatever the two of you agree on.


Yup

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

ntamph said:


> I will.
> 
> I have good reasons to think that it will happen though.
> 
> I really, really, really want to impress her.


I hope things go well for you. Try to relax before you meet up with her (nothing worse than feeling nervous when you're trying to impress), take the lead, let her know that you find her desirable and let things flow naturally. No rush


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## ExiledBayStater (Feb 16, 2013)

ntamph said:


> I've been seeing a woman for three weeks now and we've been on 5 dates. I really like her and I think she feels the same way to me.
> 
> She's much more interesting to talk to than any other girl/woman I've known. I feel real chemistry.
> 
> I wouldn't mind just getting to know each other more. But should their be more physical attraction? If she likes me as much as she says she does, should she have initiated something by now or should I have? Would you be trying to get intimate by this point?


My wife and I didn't sleep together for the first few months of dating, but we were ridiculously cuddly in that time. Anyone who saw us must have been disgusted.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Yup
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


It was to prevent ladies for stretching guys for dates.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

treyvion said:


> It was to prevent ladies for stretching guys for dates.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's possible she feels that he's stretching her


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

ExiledBayStater said:


> My wife and I didn't sleep together for the first few months of dating, but we were ridiculously cuddly in that time. Anyone who saw us must have been disgusted.


Which is all part of the delicious build up


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

A couple of points I would like to add.

1. the "3rd date rule" is a pile of crap, take as much time as you both need before you start having sex and NEVER repeat NEVER try and "force the pace" against the wishes of your partner. By all means let them know when you are ready to commit but sex should always be consensual.

2. The only Englishman I know of who refer to his penis as a “gentlemen sausage” is the comedian Stephen Fry. It is more commonly known as a “willy” by little boys or a "c0ck” as they get older.

3. The "twangers" name was popularized in the UK by the cast and crew of a kids TV show "rainbow" who made a "never to be broadcast" adults only episode that escaped onto the net. See Link.


rainbow - kids rude programme - YouTube


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> It's possible she feels that he's stretching her


It's true. She possibly feels discomforted at the speed he pulls his money to pay the bill.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

ntamph said:


> I wouldn't mind just getting to know each other more. But should their be more physical attraction? If she likes me as much as she says she does, should she have initiated something by now or should I have? Would you be trying to get intimate by this point?


I don't think there's a right answer. Its always taken care of itself for me. The only thing I really do is get her comfortable with my physical touch and 9 times out of 10 women have given me some kind of green light signal.

Are you comfortable taking it further? Do you sense any hesitance/withdraw on her part when you're making out?

I figure you want to make a move or you wouldn't have created this thread. So what stops you?

A somewhat innocuous move I often go to when the making out is going along, is to slip some fingers into waist of her jeans and gently drift around there. If you sense no discomfort from her, a few moments later goes the pants button. No one I've ever been with has withdrawn from there forward. If you're in the waistband, you're usually in the pants... if you're in the pants, well...


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I don't think there's a right answer. Its always taken care of itself for me. The only thing I really do is get her comfortable with my physical touch and 9 times out of 10 women have given me some kind of green light signal.
> 
> Are you comfortable taking it further? Do you sense any hesitance/withdraw on her part when you're making out?
> 
> ...


Right, no body asks for it. They just do it. 

The waist band move is a great and perfect move.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Apparently, TAM has taught me that she has to calculate when she sleeps with you based on the LTR potential of seeing you after only 3 dates. 

If she doesn't sleep with you by three dates, she's obviously just trying to get free food. But if she sleeps with you within three dates, she has to sleep with -all- future dating partners with or quicker than three dates, or she's Beta-prioritizing them, really isn't that into them, and is cheating them or what they deserve.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Starstarfish said:


> Apparently, TAM has taught me that she has to calculate when she sleeps with you based on the LTR potential of seeing you after only 3 dates.
> 
> If she doesn't sleep with you by three dates, she's obviously just trying to get free food. But if she sleeps with you within three dates, she has to sleep with -all- future dating partners with or quicker than three dates, or she's Beta-prioritizing them, really isn't that into them, and is cheating them or what they deserve.


You got it. In the world of professional daters and pickup world this is true with enough regularity to make it one of your rules.


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## Boogiemaster (Oct 11, 2012)

Generic Terms for it

****
****
Wiener
Pecker
Boner
Hard on
Thing
Piece
Member
Tool
Package
Unit
Shaft
It


Doinker
Prick
Cack
Choad
Chub
Pud
Schlong
Wankie


Dong
Wang
Ding a ling
Ding dong
Long dong

Also know as the old man


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Starstarfish said:


> Apparently, TAM has taught me that she has to calculate when she sleeps with you based on the LTR potential of seeing you after only 3 dates.
> 
> If she doesn't sleep with you by three dates, she's obviously just trying to get free food. But if she sleeps with you within three dates, she has to sleep with -all- future dating partners with or quicker than three dates, or she's Beta-prioritizing them, really isn't that into them, and is cheating them or what they deserve.


I'm just glad that I had a strong sense of my own value and firm boundaries from an early age. My own needs, values and boundaries took precedence over what someone might or might not have expected from me.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

No more than three. If you have gone more than three dates without sex or a sexual activity she's stretching you out for free dates.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Do you really believe that trey? Or are you just quoting those who do believe it?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Do you really believe that trey? Or are you just quoting those who do believe it?


It's a joke.

I wouldn't pay the way for 350 dates and nothing happens. There is a point where you have to determine if the person is using you and definately not going to return the gratitude. It doesn't have to be sex.


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## techmom (Oct 22, 2012)

Starstarfish said:


> Apparently, TAM has taught me that she has to calculate when she sleeps with you based on the LTR potential of seeing you after only 3 dates.
> 
> If she doesn't sleep with you by three dates, she's obviously just trying to get free food. But if she sleeps with you within three dates, she has to sleep with -all- future dating partners with or quicker than three dates, or she's Beta-prioritizing them, really isn't that into them, and is cheating them or what they deserve.


TAM in a nutshell...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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