# Husband left with other woman while pregnant.



## KatieG (Jul 20, 2015)

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and mariied for the last 2 years. We are having our first child together as I am 5 months pregnant. We had been trying last year but stopped trying this year and it finally happened naturally. We had been having a lot of issues during the last 6months and even tried marriage counseling as he said he didnt feel the same about me and that he was just tired of all the arguements. I just found out that he had been having an affair which he admitted to, he told me they have been intimate for about a year and that he doesn't love me anymore and that he loves her. I pleaded for him to reconsider and he would not budge. He continued talk to me like i never meant anything to him. He is still very happy about this child and wants to be included in ultrasounds and with the baby shower but has made it very clear that he wants to be with her and not me. He is iving on his friend's couch as he cannot afford his own place and she lives with her mother. He is 27 and she is 24 by the way. She has no responsibilties and he had many while married with me. I am having a difficult time coping as he has been gone a month and when i talk to him in person he talks to ok but through the phone or text messages he is very rude and tells me he only wants to talk about baby related things. Everyone is saying he will come around when the baby is born and he will realize the life he is leaving behind but I don't think he will and that is also a long time from now. I don't know how to be whether to continue to allow him at appointments etc. or just cut him out complettely until the baby is born. At this point i do want the idea of my family back but not sure if that''s just the pregnancy hormones talking. Please help any suggestions do you think the relationship will last. Anyone been in this situation.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Sorry, but you have to let him go and keep him separated from your life as much as possible. It will be difficult at first to stop treating him like a partner but over time it will be easier.

He is currently on a hormonal high due to the honeymoon phase of a new relationship and one of the symptoms is obsessive behavior. On average, it takes about two months to two years to wear off. Usually the more stress placed on the relationship, the faster it wears out.

So telling friends and family, alters the reality of the magical feelings that he is going through.

Other than that, you should be focusing on you because focusing on him will do nothing for you. Love is an addiction we crave. Currently you have an attachment towards him that keeps driving you to get him back. Logically, he is not the man you married and you would not be married to a person like this if you would have known.

So minimize him to little as possible. It is a process but as time progresses, you will have less and less of an emotional trigger when it comes to him.

As for the odds of it lasting, it is pretty slim. But on the chance it does, you would have started the process of moving on.


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## McDean (Jun 13, 2015)

Agree w/Mr. Fisty on this one. Given your current state you shouldn't have to worry about his mess of a life, not to mention the questionable character he is displaying. Do the 180, make sure you are taking care of yourself and your child and don't let the stress get to be too much. Even if he comes around, the duration of his affair is pretty extreme, consider how much (if he came back) would have to be overcome for your family to get back together and in a healthy way.

So ask yourself what you 'need', what do your kids 'need' and measure that against the 'wants' column down the road....


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## KatieG (Jul 20, 2015)

Thank you for the kind words. This is going to be a long healing process and I know time will help heal wounds.


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