# Premature Ejaculation & Masterbation question



## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

This question is mostly for other men, but if women are familier with this, I'd love to hear from them as well. My wife and my sex life has improved dramatically since I first posted a couple years ago. Went from basically sexless, to monthly, to weekly, to twice weekly as of recently. Just want to make sure the overall experience is satisfying to both of us.

Anyways, I wouldn't say I suffer from premature ejaculation. I would, however, like to last longer. I cam across this book called the Ejaculation Trainer by Randy Rochester.

Premature Ejaculation Trainer: The Ultimate Guide to Last Longer in Bed and Cure Premature Ejaculation: Randy Rochester: Amazon.com: Kindle Store

Anyways, unlike other authors who claim that using their technique will make you last longer immediately, Rochester gives compelling rationale as to the use of his method and why it works.

Curious to see if anyone has ever used the technique or something similar. Here is a quick outline of the technique.

Lengthening masterbation time: Basically, the premise is that as youngsters, we masterbated quickly out of the fear of getting caught conditioning our body to only last a short time. His method is to masterbate until close to climax and stop for 15-20 seconds. Keeping doing that until you stretch it out to about 15 minutes or so. This is supposed to condition our bodies to last longer. Also, he went over a couple different types of kegal exercises to do in conjunction with his method of masterbation (about 4 times a week).

Rocherster doesn't claim a quick fix of a pill, just time working out the kegal muscles and conditioning the body to hold off ejaculating. Claims that within a few months there will be a difference/

Thoughts on this? Any success?

Also, I am not Randy Rochester. 

Just curious about his methods.


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## pinejacker (Dec 23, 2012)

I would also be interested... At $0.99, it can't hurt...


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

Randy 

If you want to last longer masturbate before you have sex with your wife. I mean an hour or less ( depending on your recovery time )


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

CanadianGuy said:


> Randy
> 
> If you want to last longer masturbate before you have sex with your wife. I mean an hour or less ( depending on your recovery time )


lol :smthumbup:

I am aware of that trick. Just came across this masterbation method to "train" the body to go longer. Actually have seen it in a couple different spots on the net. Unsure of its validity, but the reasoning makes perfect sense.

I'm just always on the look-out to make sex an enjoyable experience for both parties in my marriage.


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## DeepBlue (Jan 30, 2012)

Absolutely does work. 

I haven't actually read any formal works on the subject but apparently been using a similar method since mid-teens. The pauses don't actually have to be pauses. Mere slowdowns may be sufficient as they are in my case.

With diligent training and good ... ahem subject matter to train with, 15 minutes is nothing. In fact, hour+ is quite doable and is not a big deal. May take a bit more than a few months though.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

For what it's worth, I am convinced that training through long masturbation times is helpful. When I masturbate and it's just me and my thoughts, I can last 15 or 20 minutes at most. But, if I am sharing my masturbation, by chatting with a friend while we are both masturbating, chatting over the web, then I can edge and make it last an hour or 2 or 3. Edging is stimulation almost to the point where you feel like cumming and then you back off, hands off, then start slowly masturbating again. I think this could help you!


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## daviomaron (Jan 18, 2013)

I'm just always on the look-out to make sex an enjoyable experience for both parties in my marriage.


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

ARF said:


> This question is mostly for other men, but if women are familier with this, I'd love to hear from them as well. My wife and my sex life has improved dramatically since I first posted a couple years ago. Went from basically sexless, to monthly, to weekly, to twice weekly as of recently. Just want to make sure the overall experience is satisfying to both of us.
> 
> Anyways, I wouldn't say I suffer from premature ejaculation. I would, however, like to last longer. I cam across this book called the Ejaculation Trainer by Randy Rochester.
> 
> ...


I have done something similar to this with my H during handjobs. I know his reactions well enough to know how to give him ultimate pleasure and when to change it up so the pleasure is prolonged. I would say that the masturbation techniques and the kegel exercises are beneficial. I gotta say, when a guy has conditioned his PC and can flex his p*nis, it feels great when he does this while inside his W's V.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

I didn't read the article and I'm familiar with the idea. 

Masturbating teaches you to be familiar with your body, what you want, and what "sends you over the edge". 

What you do with that information is up to you. My first time in a p*ssy lasted 90 seconds or less. And there simply wasn't anything I could do about it. I had no idea what to expect, stimulation-wise, and just the fact that I had this hot girl (warm and sexy) nude in bed was just too much mental stimulation to last. 

Seriously, though? By the time you've been together a year, you should already know what it feels like to approach the point of no return, and you should be able to change what you're doing...slowing down, thinking (not thinking), whatever it takes to delay reaching it. 

Now, woman on top positions and others, she can move and stimulate you over the top and you probably can't stop it. 

But if you're making 10 minutes, all you really need to do is to pay closer attention to what you're feeling. The hardness, the stimulation level (linked) and slow or even stop once that last little "climb" before you go over the edge is something you should be able to feel and react to accordingly. 

Just be aware that now and then, there's just nothing you can to do to stop it. But if that's what happens all the time (even if you're making 15 min), then you're going to have to practice (even masturbating) learning to feel the more subtle signs of approach. 

Yes, you can do it. I learned to not lose it in 60 seconds, and it didn't take all that long. 

Also, be aware that as you age, physical endurance can and does play a big role in this, making it harder to notice where you are on that path... 

And yes, I learned to be able to cum on command (sort of) and NOT, when I didn't want to. When I was younger, we had sessions that often exceeded well longer than an hour, often only 2 positions in that time. And, when we got to the point where we were "done" and satiated, then, and only then, did I let myself go. 

And, after 2 hours of sex, with only brief breaks, the explosion at the end... makes nuclear blasts seem tame


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Don't piss around with snake oil cures. If you want to last longer get a prescription for an SSRI antidepressant. These are often used in non depressed people who suffer from PE because the medication's main side effect is inhibiting ejaculation. Ask your Doctor.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

But, make sure you take an hour, with a dictionary, to read the entire product label if you do elect to take any SSRI meds. There are significant side effects to taking SSRI's. These can permanently rewire your neural circuitry and cause other changes.


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## V10Viper (Jan 26, 2013)

educational


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## mattcook (Jul 19, 2012)

Solo activities can help you last longer in partner sex.

But beware of edging while masturbating. Edging is going to the brink, backing off, then going again...using fantasy and porn to keep things going.

If you are going to prolong things and practice solo, do it without fantasy or porn. Do it just feeling the sensations.

Another key to lasting a long time is to focus your attention on relaxing your pelvic floor, and on nose breathing. If you relax your pelvic floor and breathe through your nose you can basically last as long as you want.

You'll go softer then get harder. This is natural if you are having intercourse for 30 minutes or 60 minutes or 90 minutes. The penis doesn't stay rigid and usually in fact you feel a lot more pleasure when you aren't completely hard.

Just FYI, I have sex often for 30, 60 minutes or longer using these methods.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Mr B said:


> Don't piss around with snake oil cures. If you want to last longer get a prescription for an SSRI antidepressant. ....Ask your Doctor.


Yeah. I dont think so. Psychotropic drugs are not the solution, sorry. Nothing like messing with your brain just so you dont cum quite so fast. :scratchhead:

And yes, buy all means..please do talk to your doctor if you are thinking in that direction. I would need to have a debilitating problem with no other options before I even considered it.

The 'take a pill' mentality is dangerous, in my book - and SSRIs are not much better than 'snake oil' if you consider that their effects on behavior are highly variable and not very well understood. At all. Slowed ejacualtion is a noted side effect, yes.. but you dont use a 50cal machine gun to unlock your front door - you may find that method does more than simply getting you through the door.

*Edit: I am not a doctor.. not do I play one on 'the internets'*


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

ARF said:


> This question is mostly for other men, but if women are familier with this, I'd love to hear from them as well. My wife and my sex life has improved dramatically since I first posted a couple years ago. Went from basically sexless, to monthly, to weekly, to twice weekly as of recently. Just want to make sure the overall experience is satisfying to both of us.
> 
> Anyways, I wouldn't say I suffer from premature ejaculation. I would, however, like to last longer. I cam across this book called the Ejaculation Trainer by Randy Rochester.
> 
> ...


Wow, I was a cutting edge researcher in human sexuality in junior high.....

Did exactly the same thing, and have always had OUTSTANDING control....

From the first time I had REAL sex I was able to bring my partner to orgasm and the have mine as she was getting off. We have experienced the elusive simultaneous orgasm too many times to count......

I am the most ordinary looking guy, would never stand out in a crown, but I have often thought of myself as a sexual savant...

The first time I had sex I brought my partner to a fantastic orgasm, and said to myself...This is for me.....

I always had the gift for picking up on body language and sexual rythms.... pelvic movements, breathing, position of her arms and legs, intensity of her kisses....It always works....And I have the claw marks on my back as proof....


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

CanadianGuy said:


> Randy
> 
> If you want to last longer masturbate before you have sex with your wife. I mean an hour or less ( depending on your recovery time )


:iagree:

OP, at least, for me, this is the case: 

If it is the first time in about 3-4 days or so, I don't las as long as I usually can. With that being said, I am a bit of a marathon man myself, but if it has been a while, I can finish in roughly 15 mins. If you masturbate within an hour - like Canadian Guy said, this depends on the amount you require to get an erection again after orgasm (by the way, this is called your refractory period) - your sensitivity will be less, and it will take a while to reach that same level of arousal. 

A different option to consider, OP, is to ensure that she orgasms first. In fact, I recommend the book She Comes First by Ian Kerner, who is a fairly well-known sex therapist, who also struggles with PE (in fact, he says that solving his PE problem is what drove him to become a sex therapist in the first place! We wants to help men with this problem).


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

DeepBlue said:


> Absolutely does work.
> 
> I haven't actually read any formal works on the subject but apparently been using a similar method since mid-teens. The pauses don't actually have to be pauses. Mere slowdowns may be sufficient as they are in my case.
> 
> With diligent training and good ... ahem subject matter to train with, 15 minutes is nothing. In fact, hour+ is quite doable and is not a big deal. May take a bit more than a few months though.


Disclaimer: 
I have never read anything on this - your post is the only information I have read on this technique. 

I constantly do this, if you are describing what I think you are. When I start to get close to the point of ejaculation inevitability (aka point of no return), I slow down immensely (damn near stop)! I call it delaying. My wife knows I do this. The trick is to know yourself and when your getting what is "too close" for you. I either stop immediately, or pull out and go down on her for about 2-3 mins. 

I learned this from masturbation, as I often am enjoying myself and don't want it to be over (same with sex, obviously). What I suggest is during masturbation, make a game with yourself to get as close to orgasm with possible, and then don't. I would say, try doing it 6 times in a half hour period. If you happen to finish, NBD, try again the next day or the day after. You actually could include your wife in this game for extra fun!

Also, masturbating on the days when you are not having sex with your wife, may be another solution, as well.


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## Daneosaurus (Dec 2, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> From the first time I had REAL sex I was able to bring my partner to orgasm and the have mine as she was getting off. We have experienced the elusive simultaneous orgasm too many times to count......


While I was out of high school when my wife (then, girlfriend) and I were able to achieve simultaneous. I think we are both responsive to each other getting off. When her V muscles contract around me, WOW! 

And for her, she get's off on seeing me in pleasure. :smthumbup:


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

I was doing kegels before I knew what it was...it started in childhood and have done them regularly throughout my life. All I know is I have a super strong prostate which helps me achieve awesome orgasms.
I pretty much have control when I orgasm...anywhere from 2 minutes to a good hour. Anymore than 15 minutes and my wife is done.


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## Cobre (Feb 24, 2013)

kegal muscles, just takes some time.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

*Re: Premature Ejaculation &amp; Masterbation question*

I would just call this EDGING, taking it just to the edge and baking off before orgasm. I have gone 2 to 3 hours like this when masturbating, before finally cumming.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

oldgeezer said:


> I didn't read the article and I'm familiar with the idea.
> 
> Masturbating teaches you to be familiar with your body, what you want, and what "sends you over the edge".
> 
> ...



Exactly....Sex till both of you start sending signals, then BOOM....

I really don't get into quickies, at least an hour of manual, oral, toys and PIV to make it worthwhile....However recently my wife has been unable to get off due to medications she is taking , so I have to get off quicker myself just to save her the dissapointment of getting hyper aroused with no orgasm........Twenty or thirty good strokes and I'm done.......But I am at heart a marathon man........My first time in a pu$$y was WILD....She was extremely wet, and I was beyond ready. 

She felt me enter and was perfectly still. I began thrusting, and felt her pelvis begin to move. I picked up on her rhythm and matched it. I kept pushing the tempo, encouraging her faster and faster, and when she arched her back and sank her fingernails into my back we both exploded....Wow I should write this crap for a living....Anyhow It was not her first time, but it was her first PIV orgasm and she LOVED it. We became very close for a long time....


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## Gabey (Feb 20, 2013)

For me, ejaculation is physical AND mental. These exercises sound like they help mostly the physical.

When the wife is just going through the motions, but not really into it, it takes me a lot longer to finish. When that happens, I need to concentrate on something like her legs, boobs or her a$$. Something we've done previously: talking dirty, moaning or role play sometimes pushes me over the edge quicker. That's all mental.


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

A little surprised to see this back on the first page. 

I won't be seeing the Dr. to get an antidepressent because my problem isn't PE really.

Its just the stuff that happens with life that sometimes makes periods between sex last a little longer than one would like. We have busy lives, kids, demanding jobs, etc. Sometimes, these things create longer periods between sex. It is those times I would like to be conditioned to last a bit longer.\

Lasting longer is a bit of a selfish thing for me too. I enjoy intercourse. If there were ways that could stretch it out, I am on board.

Appreciate all the input.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

I was masturbating last night and hadn't even been stroking it 3 or 4 minutes and I felt my climax about to erupt. I immediately stopped touching myself and about 4 squirts shoot out, but I didn't orgasm. I thought...Noooooo, I'm not ready to O yet!  I then started back up and finished a couple minutes later with a full orgasm and bunch more squirting. I guess I just wanted to get it over with. 
I am currently separated from my wife. I met her for dinner and we were taking sex related stuff and I was getting majorly turned on, but I couldn't let her know that. I had blue balls driving back to my temporary accommodations.
I feel better now!


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