# What should I do? :(



## gocats87 (Sep 20, 2011)

I'm currently married, but am not happy anymore. My wife is perfectly happy, but she can tell something is not right with me. I have recently figured out that marriage is not what I want and I wish I would have figured this out sooner to prevent heartbreak. The last thing I want is my wife to suffer a broken heart because I do not want to be with her anymore. I feel more like friends than lovers. She still wants sex and I agree sometimes, but only to make her happy & I try not to show that I do not want the sex. I feel the same way with kissing.

This is very hard on me. A few months ago, I was feeling the same way and we talked about it. She took it very hard. I went back home for a little while to spend time with my terminally-ill father. After some time (I was going to stay for six months), I started missing my wife a great deal and came back home. I thought I missed her like a husband SHOULD miss his wife, but now I think it was just in a different way of which I'm not sure.

My wife is in the military and we have a house on base. If I divorced her, she would most likely lose her house and have to find a place to store all of her belongings. I don't know what to do. I don't want to put her in an extremely ****ty situation (besides the divorce), but I also don't want to be with her anymore. I feel more and more unhappy each day that I feel "stuck" in this marriage.

Someone PLEASE give me some advice on this. I am having a really hard time.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Everyone always talks about happiness, which is such a fleeting emotion. Trying to be stable and content is much better than "happy" which goes up and down almost daily.

Are you depressed? This could cause why you think you don't want to be married.

Are you cheating? Do you want to see someone else?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

First thing, understand that your happiness is your choice and ditching a partner or getting another isn't going to make you happy. It's not who's in your bed but what's in your head. Make your goal "contentment". If you are not content, seriously figure out why you aren't. If your answer is "because I'm married", then you haven't seriously figured out the problem. People can be miserable in wonderful settings or they can be perfectly content in poverty, in prison, in a war zone, or terminally ill in a hospital. Your choice and your responsibility.


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