# tips



## INEEDHELPID (Apr 30, 2013)

So my wife says she's not in love with me, she says she is just not willing to try again that it is not in her heart and that she is being a ***** now and not going to give in. She does admit she don't know what the future holds as well. We are still living together and get alongoOK she seems distant and stand offish but I give her the space she wants. She also says she WANTS me to see other women but I refuse. At the same time we go out the other night drink eat and dance all night and I mean bump and grind hands all over each other dancing. What should I do? Everyone tells me just sit let her do her thing and she will come back around we got married young and that she may wanna do her a bit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

INEEDHELPID said:


> So my wife says she's not in love with me, she says she is just not willing to try again that it is not in her heart and that she is being a ***** now and not going to give in. She does admit she don't know what the future holds as well. We are still living together and get alongoOK she seems distant and stand offish but I give her the space she wants. She also says she WANTS me to see other women but I refuse. At the same time we go out the other night drink eat and dance all night and I mean bump and grind hands all over each other dancing. What should I do? Everyone tells me just sit let her do her thing and she will come back around we got married young and that she may wanna do her a bit.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Does she gaurd her cell phone? Does she spend a lot of time on the computer? Does she go out without you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

"Let her do her thing" translates into "Let her have her affair".

The other night she was all over you because you were out drinking and dancing. She wants you to see other women because she is already seeing another man/men.

Do a search for the 180 on this site and follow it to the letter.


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

Your name says it all, get some help. All the threads you've started, you've ignored advice, your approaching stalker status with this. 
When u don't get responses u like u start a different thread, leave more details out, and hope someone will agree with that there's still chance. Dude, she's gone. I'm sorry. Your only torturing yourself.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Oh, wait...I didn't realize that was going on Thumper. Just had a look at the other threads.

OP, I would also suggest if you really want help with this - get out of the girl's room here and put it in Coping With Infidelity. That's where it really should be.


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## INEEDHELPID (Apr 30, 2013)

OK she does talk to a married guy at work a lot and just got in contact with an old family friend who is also married and they been texting a lot she says it's nothing more than friendship so maybe its not a physical deal but maybe emotional?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Madman1 (Oct 24, 2012)

Yep,

She is looking to connect with another man emotionally.
After this comes sex.

You are being replaced!

Making contact and looking up other men is not ok in an unhealthy marriage, it is very disrespectful!!!!!!

She is disconnecting from you!

*Act now or forevery lose you piece!*


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## INEEDHELPID (Apr 30, 2013)

OK and by act now do you mean? I know she still finds me very attractive we even have had moments of flirtation and even conversations of sexual nature but she always puts an end to it after a bit like.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Dude...you are blind. Blind by whatever your brain is telling you about your wife. Oh, that's right - you "love" her and you have kids.

Well, bro...guess what? She doesn't care. She's been out there with these other guys already. Are they YOUR friends, too. Do you text all the time with them. Do YOU get butterflies when a new text comes through.

I bet she does.

She's already gone. She's even told you so.


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## Thumper (Mar 23, 2013)

You are starting to scare even me. I'm starting to think this woman is gonna need a restraining order.


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## INEEDHELPID (Apr 30, 2013)

Nah bro its not like that trust me, Its just this girl I gave up my wild ways 13 years ago I was screwing girls left and right and I still could if I wanted I could have cheated a number of times without her knowing but didn't. I am mainly just seeing what you non biased people are saying because I know what my friends and family say and unfortunately its the same thing you guys do. I am not gonna tell these guys wives anything I'm not getting involved in it any how I am just gonna do me and see what happens I'm not gonna go screw around or nothing
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Okay. Well, I guess we'll see ya around then. Thanks for stopping by.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

INEEDHELPID said:


> I am mainly just seeing what you non biased people are saying because I know what my friends and family say and unfortunately its the same thing you guys do. I am not gonna tell these guys wives anything I'm not getting involved in it any how I am just gonna do me and see what happens I'm not gonna go screw around or nothing
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*What you SHOULD do is follow the advice you were given previously and investigate.

Sorry to say but if she's telling you to see other women it's becasue she's already seeing other guys or is about to.

I'd bet my last dollar that she's cheating on you and if I were the wives of these other two guys (whether this is a EA or a PA) I would want to know

Do the right thing*


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## INEEDHELPID (Apr 30, 2013)

So your thinking I should tell the wives? I mean her friends in another state ones a co worker and they text a lot all day everyday. I wish I could without her knowing it was me but at the same time she probably would figure its me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Wow, man. Ya know people have been saying the same stuff to you for a while now. You simply don't want to listen to or do what has been suggested. I don't know why you keep coming back and asking the same things over and over. Seriously.

"I wish I could without her knowing..."

Why? Are you that afraid? Is the communication that bad? Don't want to really know?

What is it?

She told you to see other women cuz she's seeing other guys. Someone cue the Rage Against the Machine song "Wake Up" from the end of the Matrix.


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## INEEDHELPID (Apr 30, 2013)

I have kids with her so I don't want a hostile relationship with her no matter what
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## INEEDHELPID (Apr 30, 2013)

Otherwise I would kick her out now
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

INEEDHELPID said:


> *So your thinking I should tell the wives?* I mean her friends in another state ones a co worker and they text a lot all day everyday. I wish I could without her knowing it was me but at the same time she probably would figure its me
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


In a word...yes. Long answer? Your wife is cheating. Emotionally, at least, but there very well may be something physical with someone as well. Likely the coworker. "Just friends"? Bullsh!t. There's more to it that that. If there wasn't, you wouldn't have even come here asking about her behavior. At this point, because she has decided she doesn't want your marriage to work, the best thing you can do is help the spouses of the men she's cheating with. Tell them.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

INEEDHELPID said:


> I have kids with her so I don't want a hostile relationship with her no matter what
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





INEEDHELPID said:


> Otherwise I would kick her out now
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do you REALLY think she cares about YOUR feelings? I can tell you right now that, even if it is "just" emotional infidelity, she's not thinking of you. She doesn't care how you feel. She's only thinking of herself... not even of the KIDS. Think about that. THE WOMAN DOES NOT CARE. 

Now, you can still be civil with each other regarding the kids, even after you expose her cheating. Just because you have kids together, it doesn't mean you have to take it up the @$$. And if you REALLY believed you would have kicked her out by now, you WOULD have done it already. Truth is, you wouldn't, and you won't. And there's only one reason for that....


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

INEEDHELPID said:


> I have kids with her so I don't want a hostile relationship with her no matter what
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*Right now you don't really have a relationship with her, let alone a hostile one!

Look, she's cheating and affecting a total of THREE marriages. The other spouses NEED to know what their husbands are up to.

As of this moment, your wife doessn't give a rats azz that she's taking your kids for granted, disrespecting you and exposing you to STDs (I hope you're wearing protection when you have slept with her)

Time to move on and file for divorce. Take the power back and work on yourself *


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