# Happier Being Alone



## misslady (Mar 17, 2010)

Is it normal to like being alone? My husband is military so he is gone every other year, I don't wish him overseas but I must say I like being alone better. I love him, but I feel we get along better apart. When he's here sometimes I feel like there is another kid in the house getting on my nerves. My husband is very affectionate, and likes to talk about feelings and other stuff, me personally I feel like he is invading my space, and I could walk around for days without talking and be ok with it. When it comes to the affectionate part I dont even like for my kids to hug and kiss me, now I know that's not normal, and I don't let them know I feel this way, but it is very uncomfortable for me. He said I wasn't like this when we were dating, but maybe because I saw him less often.


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## Luciddreamer (Apr 23, 2010)

misslady,
I posted something similar in the general forum yesterday. I can relate -- I sometimes think I am happier alone as well, and I do feel that too much "togetherness" can make me long for some time alone. I don't know if this is "normal", but I know you are not the only person in the world to feel this way! 
I have felt all my life that maybe there was something wrong with me because I don't seem to feel as passionate about people or things as others seem to. I don't mean I have no passion, as in no sexuality, but rather that I don't seem to fall madly in love or feel like I can't live without another person, etc. (I do love people, but there is no one in my life that I could not live without). I also don't get very jealous, which has made some of the men in past relationships upset -- they felt that it meant I didn't care enough because I wasn't jealous or possessive enough of them. Also, I have often felt that other people want more than I can give in terms of time or attention -- I like spending time with them, laughing, enjoying activities, and so on, but I am not interested in every little thought they have or feeling they feel and so on. To be fair, I don't ask that they be that involved with me either. I guess my ideal would be a relationship where we were both very independent but because we enjoyed each others' company we wanted to spend time together -- yet if we had to be apart it wouldn't be this big "thing" and I wouldn't have to keep trying to prove my love over and over by giving them all my attention.
I don't know that this is helpful to you, but I did want you to know that you are not alone in feeling this way.


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## created4success (Apr 9, 2010)

misslady said:


> Is it normal to like being alone? My husband is military so he is gone every other year, I don't wish him overseas but I must say I like being alone better. I love him, but I feel we get along better apart. When he's here sometimes I feel like there is another kid in the house getting on my nerves. My husband is very affectionate, and likes to talk about feelings and other stuff, me personally I feel like he is invading my space, and I could walk around for days without talking and be ok with it. When it comes to the affectionate part I dont even like for my kids to hug and kiss me, now I know that's not normal, and I don't let them know I feel this way, but it is very uncomfortable for me. He said I wasn't like this when we were dating, but maybe because I saw him less often.


As a married couple, I think its perfectly normal to want to be alone. After all, yes, we need our own personal space: time to think, unwind, get some peace, just be.

*Have you considered what you could do to improve the quality of your relationship?* For example, you say that it seems like when he's home that there's another kid in the house. To me it appears there are things he could do so as not to always get on your nerves or invade your personal boundaries...?


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