# Lingerie Question



## kellertx (Feb 17, 2012)

I have noticed alot of questions about what women wear to bed but Mine is specific to when sex is implied. I am curious what everyone is wearing to bed when they are planning for sex. For the past 5 years my wife has been wearing pajamas regardless of sex or not. And although they are from victoria's secret, they are still pants and a shirt and require alot of effort to remove once things start to get going. And cotton panties underneath dont do alot either.
I am not talking about trashy "porn influenced" stuff either. She has a few short silk nightgowns (short, above the knees) that she use to wear with silk panties that were easy to get under and remove allowing for sex with the gown still on (sometimes that was even sexier, feeling her through the fabric. 

Anyway am I being unrealistic about her wearing something sexy. Her take is what does it matter because it will just come off soon enough anyway.

So I am asking what do you "real women wear to bed for sex? Fredericks? Victoria's Secret?


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Nothing...I always found that lingerie wasn't appreciated all that much. I'd put in all kinds of time and effort, and it's like they'd never even notice. But that's just me.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

I posted elsewhere about this, but my wife is mostly practical. We don't always plan for sex to happen for an evening. When she does, she may wear sexy lingerie, or may just come to bed naked.

Most times, she wears two piece pajamas that are warm because it's never really warm (as in Central US summertime warm) where we live, and she wants to stay warm. She likes the two piece because she wants me to touch her while we are going to sleep, and the two piece pajamas gives me easy access to make skin-skin contact with her without pulling them to where they are no longer warm. She may lie on her side facing away from me and want me to snuggle behind her, and cup her breast with my hand. And she wants me to have pretty easy access to her butt or her pubic area when in other positions as we fall asleep. Of course, we also have turns where I'm on my back and she snuggles up to me. I don't wear pajamas because being a little cooler makes it more comfortable for us to snuggle the way she likes.

It develops to sex sometimes when she is in her warm pajamas. I am pretty much expert at getting them off quickly if needed. 

The way it works for us, I never think of the warmer pajamas as a hindrance to intimacy. They are actually practical while making for nice intimate touching and gentle times together while falling asleep together.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I have some naughty outfits.

Catholic school girl
nurse
vampire

:rofl: They're fun and they are left on during sex. He loves that!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

kellertx said:


> I have noticed alot of questions about what women wear to bed but Mine is specific to when sex is implied. I am curious what everyone is wearing to bed when they are planning for sex. For the past 5 years my wife has been wearing pajamas regardless of sex or not. And although they are from victoria's secret, they are still pants and a shirt and require alot of effort to remove once things start to get going. And cotton panties underneath dont do alot either.
> I am not talking about trashy "porn influenced" stuff either. She has a few short silk nightgowns (short, above the knees) that she use to wear with silk panties that were easy to get under and remove allowing for sex with the gown still on (sometimes that was even sexier, feeling her through the fabric.
> 
> Anyway am I being unrealistic about her wearing something sexy. Her take is what does it matter because it will just come off soon enough anyway.
> ...


Most men who have a preference generally get their wive's sizes and do the shopping. It's really embarassing for a woman to go into a lingerie shop to buy her own stuff...it's so much sexier when a guy makes these arrangements and gifts the goodies in a way that makes her want to wear them. My first serious boyfriend was really quite unashamed of doing this: he worked next to a lingerie shop...and guess what, I went in there 20+ years later having to buy something to keep my marriage together (husband had continued 'friendship' with an ex...and I found out while he was deployed...had asked but he'd lied...) and mentioned how they'd moved their shop since the old days...when I last got stuff FROM there but not personally, and they remembered who I was. I felt so sad for myself that here I was having to buy my own stuff, explained the situation to them, and they agreed. They said they really liked it too when men came in to buy stuff for their woman.

Once your woman gets a feel for what you like, she might surprise you now and then with a little accessory or something you didn't expect, this is what money plus a little bit more (to buy yourself something) is for, once in a while, with a wink...the message there is that if she chooses to buy something she knows you like, you're in!

A woman would rather spend her time honing her bedroom skills than earning money to spend on turning on a guy. I mean, come on, we have to buy bras and tampax and hosiery and stuff, and we can't just wear our shorts to go swimming either. How about an equalizer? It's not just the money, though, it's about providing what you like...rather than leaving it to chance. Most of the time.

For me, I'd wear (almost) anything provided for that purpose. I'm not stingy in that respect. And if it doesn't fit, there is always the option of exchange, but at least there's a starting point.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'm never embarrassed to go buy my own stuff.  I strike a convo with the person behind the counter and talk about dildos and lubes and outfits. 

Whatever. It's just sex. probably the ONE thing most of us have in common.


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Most men who have a preference generally get their wive's sizes and do the shopping. It's really embarassing for a woman to go into a lingerie shop to buy her own stuff...it's so much sexier when a guy makes these arrangements and gifts the goodies in a way that makes her want to wear them. My first serious boyfriend was really quite unashamed of doing this: he worked next to a lingerie shop...and guess what, I went in there 20+ years later having to buy something to keep my marriage together (husband had continued 'friendship' with an ex...and I found out while he was deployed...had asked but he'd lied...) and mentioned how they'd moved their shop since the old days...when I last got stuff FROM there but not personally, and they remembered who I was. I felt so sad for myself that here I was having to buy my own stuff, explained the situation to them, and they agreed. They said they really liked it too when men came in to buy stuff for their woman.
> 
> Once your woman gets a feel for what you like, she might surprise you now and then with a little accessory or something you didn't expect, this is what money plus a little bit more (to buy yourself something) is for, once in a while, with a wink...the message there is that if she chooses to buy something she knows you like, you're in!
> 
> ...


Always learning I am ... Now, I'm thinking again about a comment I heard the other day ... I'm amazed at how dense I can be sometimes ...


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I'm never embarrassed to go buy my own stuff.  I strike a convo with the person behind the counter and talk about dildos and lubes and outfits.
> 
> Whatever. It's just sex. probably the ONE thing most of us have in common.


I'm not embarassed by the goods, it's embarassing to be the one who is doing the buying when the norm for the locale is that the guys do the buying. It's so sad if you want your guy to be the buying kind (and not the cheating lying kind either...but the kind that wants you to wear stuff but tells you to get it yourself...sigh) and you go to shop and you have to get someone's opinion who's not even your husband (and they do offer their opinion...it's a small town, lol. I know what all the guys think about me, and to be honest, most are sincere about their expressions, and also respectful...they think my stbxh is an idiot.)

Anyway, if future guy friend likes me in something, I will send him to 'the shop' and I'm sure he'll be game enough.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

shy_guy said:


> Always learning I am ... Now, I'm thinking again about a comment I heard the other day ... I'm amazed at how dense I can be sometimes ...


Ok, let's hear it!!!!
I think it's funny I know the preferences of my friends/acquaintances husbands...and guys I wouldn't date... 
well, at least what they'd dress me up in if they were dressing me up. I don't know why people get all squeamish about lingerie, I mean, really, buying a dress or complimenting someone on a dress is basically the same as lingerie. Dresses are meant for showcasing...well not work dresses but going out dresses...


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Ok, let's hear it!!!!
> I think it's funny I know the preferences of my friends/acquaintances husbands...and guys I wouldn't date...
> well, at least what they'd dress me up in if they were dressing me up. I don't know why people get all squeamish about lingerie, I mean, really, buying a dress or complimenting someone on a dress is basically the same as lingerie. Dresses are meant for showcasing...well not work dresses but going out dresses...


It wasn't really about lingerie, it was about a cute little French maid outfit with no underwear. When I suggested we look, she became embarassed about looking for it, so I didn't take it seriously, and I let it drop. Your comment about women wanting men to buy it for them made me think back and wonder what she was really asking me for. I'm not at all embarassed to go buy it for her if I can get the size right ... I'm not good a guessing these things and I can't really ask anyone to model it for me . 

There may be a little maid outfit in our near future ...


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I have some naughty outfits.
> 
> Catholic school girl
> nurse
> ...


When I wear my corset and stockings get up for my husband, he likes to leave it on too. Says it's even hotter.

I go to bed nude most of the time.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

shy_guy said:


> It wasn't really about lingerie, it was about a cute little French maid outfit with no underwear. When I suggested we look, she became embarassed about looking for it, so I didn't take it seriously, and I let it drop. Your comment about women wanting men to buy it for them made me think back and wonder what she was really asking me for. I'm not at all embarassed to go buy it for her if I can get the size right ... I'm not good a guessing these things and I can't really ask anyone to model it for me .
> 
> There may be a little maid outfit in our near future ...


Go into her lingerie drawer and borrow a couple, or at least write the sizes down. The bra tags are usually somewhere on the band...at least for the ordinary stuff the sizes are on the band somewhere, or on a tag. If you can't find one with a tag you'll have to borrow it...if you get busted say you needed something to touch on your lunch hour :rofl:

Hey, don't forget the feather duster that goes with the outfit.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

Lingerie never did/does anything at all for me. I think some it looks attractive but some of it looks silly.

It is odd how some people assume it is really a gift for the husband and whereas some women like it just to make themselves feel sexy.

Maybe I am weird but for me sexy is either completely naked or just an over-sized shirt and nothing else.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Oh definitely makes me feel sexy, but if I'm going to feel that way, I might as well be hitting the mark on the other end, no use feeling that way if nobody's going to do anything about it.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I`m not into lingerie really seems silly to me.

Pair of thigh highs and a t-back gets me going.
Don`t forget the heels!!


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Somewhere on MMSL, there's a post or two about what Athol K calls the "lingerie vault". They're well worth reading. Athol is right on the money there.

Here's weird - the sponsor ad. in the bar to the right is for the MMSL Primer! Spooky!


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I bought a sexy garter set for my husband with 4 1/2in heels. I also bought a see through long sleeve top, so I could meet him at the door. He came home from work early. I'm tall, so I never in my life wore heels.

When he opened the door, he just about fainted. I've never worn lingerie before and I was going out on the limb putting it on and surprising him. It was awesome! I'll do it again, with something new in the future.

We have 3 children home, I wear flannel pj's and a t-shirt to bed. We always have sex way before I go to bed anyways. I fall asleep much earlier then my husband. 

I can't sleep in my bed for long anyways. I get up after 2 hours of falling asleep and move to the couch. I get up every 1-2 hours to change my neck positions and make sure I'm not putting any pressure on the back of my neck due to herniations.


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## barbieDoll (Jul 7, 2011)

CandieGirl said:


> Nothing...I always found that lingerie wasn't appreciated all that much. I'd put in all kinds of time and effort, and it's like they'd never even notice. But that's just me.


This is me too.

Wear it, don't wear it. Wear nothing at all and the outcome is still the same. But when he's wanting sex, it doesn't matter WHAT I wear.

But, I do prefer to sleep either in the buff (though I don't do that often because enough hearing "why are you sleeping naked" enough times gets old) or pant-less. Can't do pants to bed.

I'd love to be able to wear lingerie and have it matter... maybe one day. Here's to hoping :smthumbup:


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## isla~mama (Feb 1, 2012)

I love some types of lingerie, it's so sexy and erotically charged, but I would never sleep in it on a nightly basis. I wear undies and a four month old baby to bed!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Normally to bed I just wear a tight tank and undies. That's pretty sexy too 

Hubs sleeps in boxers or in the nude. Loooove that.


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

My estranged husband has a real fetish for corsets, girdles, funny what counselling brings out, but he loves all lingerie i wear.

For just general sleep wear i like to wear silk slips, soft and comfy that are well above the knee, some are totally sheer and see through, have no problem walking about the house in them.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Love love love lingerie. Yeah it just comes off but so does christmas wrapping! I love window dressing.


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## kellertx (Feb 17, 2012)

All are good replies, Thank You

However what I was really trying to figure out is lingerie when sex WILL happen, not so much for sleeping.
The reason being is that my wife has a low drive and sex is (if I am lucky) once a week. Before when she put on the nightgown, I knew I was getting some, as opposed to now where even when I know I am getting lucky, It is the same outfit.

The lingerie makes it easier to initiate without getting rejected. The PJ's make those nights when It might be implied a 50/50 shot of getting some, making initiating a mine field with possible mixed signals.

I want to get her into the habit of wearing the gown when she is wanting sex, but was trying to figure out if I was being unrealistic about what everyone else is wearing when they are wanting sex (that is what I am really after, are you women OK with putting on something meant to be removed or do you miss the point of wearing it?)

Thanks


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

kellertx said:


> All are good replies, Thank You
> 
> However what I was really trying to figure out is lingerie when sex WILL happen, not so much for sleeping.
> The reason being is that my wife has a low drive and sex is (if I am lucky) once a week. Before when she put on the nightgown, I knew I was getting some, as opposed to now where even when I know I am getting lucky, It is the same outfit.
> ...


 When I am in the mood I will do one of two things, I will either dress up for him in some soft lacey thing or I will wear one of his white t-shirts with nothing underneath. He gets the picture either way. The lingerie is a dead giveaway but when I have his shirt on it is very easy for me to have my way with him ...lol. For some reason he gets more turned on by me in his shirt than he does the lingerie. Go figure...


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