# Believe none of what they say



## hauntedsoul (Oct 16, 2012)

Does this apply to just things they say to you? or things they say to others about you as well?

I am a little confused on that lol


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## hauntedsoul (Oct 16, 2012)

anyone?


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Can you please explain your situation? It is very undiscerning to give advice or clarity to ambiguity.


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## hauntedsoul (Oct 16, 2012)

My husband has been bashing me constantly to anyone that will listen. He is telling them things that are not true about me and the relationship. Things like he can't stand me or he hates that B word. he was never happy. he has been nothing but miserable with me. he left me a month ago and still talking trash about me.


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## Blaine (Jul 23, 2015)

Good luck hauntedsoul. Stay strong


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I have read your other posts about your H. He has treated you abysmally for years, leaves you, cheats on you (online maybe more) and you take him back and the bad treatment starts all over again. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is not going to work, ever!
You cannot milk this site for anything different, everyone's answer will be dump him, divorce papers ready and move on. How much more crap are you willing to take? This is not good for your kids either to see so much dysfunction over and over again. This man who is your so called husband should not be in your life anymore, you should have got rid of him the first time.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

How is the Individual Counciling going?


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## hauntedsoul (Oct 16, 2012)

Im not asking whether I should take him back. i am just asking about that. 

Individual counseling is going good. I'm focused on working on my issues I have. It felt good to be able to get everything off my chest.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## McDean (Jun 13, 2015)

Ignore him, half of what he says is to convince himself of his decision and to justify it.....he sounds like a teenager, best to move on...


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Hurt people often bash others when they don't have any other coping mechanism. Sounds like that is what he's up to. He can't or won't handle the reality of your situation so he will re-write it to make it more palatable for his mind to handle. Focus on you, your friends and your family. They know you.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

In the end you can't stop what others will think of you, you can't stop what he perspectives in his mind as to who and what you are in his life. You can only be who you are, and if someone is going to bad mouth you then sure you can take him/them to court for slander but in the end no one wins. at this point you ought to take the higher road, and say nothing speak of nothing, and here is why, the more he complains about you and in turn you counter react with nothing they will eventually see that his blame labeled accusations are without merit and they will not want to be around him, and stop believing his words. just look forward and be the person you are.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

People each go through the stages of grief for the loss of the relationship in their own way. If there is a lot of talking bad about you it could simply be that he is in the anger and bargaining stages of grief simultaneously. Bargaining doesn't necessarily mean he is trying to get you back or change his situation. It could be him trying to justify the situation through bad mouthing you. Get counseling. If you can understand the stages of grief he is in then this issue ceases to be about you and becomes something that he is going through that is independent of you. Try to realize his actions are about him and absolutely don't allow those actions to have power over you.


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