# Hello everyone ^-^



## ChuChu_Panda (6 mo ago)

Just an awkward 31 year old dude new to love. Brand new to this whole loving and being loved thing. Mainly lookong for some advice on how to deal with things without hurting those around me. Realizing now I need help doing so.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Welcome , 
what is the problem about why is it going to hurt to talk to the person you love , unless you are afraid it is a deal bracker 
The danger is that you will go on not saying what is on your mind and be like some we see dealing with something that has dragged on for 35 years 

To love is to first love yourself , part of that is keeping the air clear between you


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

ChuChu_Panda said:


> Just an awkward 31 year old dude new to love. Brand new to this whole loving and being loved thing. Mainly lookong for some advice on how to deal with things without hurting those around me. Realizing now I need help doing so.



I can sympathize, but not sure how much I can help. I was virgin until about one month before my 30th birthday.

I was a nerd in high school and never learned how to socialize for love. Very inhibited and a sort of Don Quixote protecting women's virtue. I felt women did not want my attention so I was strictly no flirt, no touch.

In the end, my relationship with my wife to be just sort of grew organically. I wasn't hunting her and she wasn't hunting me. We were co workers and just enjoyed talking and talking and talking. We had a nice honest relationship that eventually began extending beyond work hours.

I never at any time physically touched her when we were getting to know each other. She said that at one point she thought I might be gay because I seemed to be afraid to touch her. I did make two pretty clumsy off color comments that were pretty brave for me and surprised even me.

One night she came to my apartment after she'd spent the day at the beach and fell asleep on the floor. I was afraid she was too tired to drive to her apartment and made a gentlemanly offer for her to stay the night. It seems she had trouble sleeping.

The funny part is that my introduction to being sexually active was actually traumatic for me as it just blew apart my entire Don Quixote world and I didn't have experience to be able to relate. About six months before my wife to be began hanging around together, a young lady I knew handed me the key to her hotel room. In my world of women's virtue it was impossible this would be happening and I went into a panic attack trying to figure it all out. Then two days later my sister in law booked me into a motel with a friend of hers without warning me. 

So when my wife to be and I began getting to know each other it was more like my idealized relationship. I am very grateful for it.


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