# How do l handle bad neighbors, street, in my situation ?



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Hey people.
Worst year of my life actually. My marriage broke up 12 mths ago and l've been stuck out at the house on my own since.lt's 10 mins out of town on one ac , my x and d are 10 mins away renting in the local town through all this . My d is over w/ends , holidays and stuff so l can't get anyone to share as l want the place free for her and she often has friends out too which is all good in a bad situation but it also means l'm left out here alone.

lt's a very rural spot , we'd only bought it and moved in 15mths before so didn't have any friends out here. There's only a few houses and people anyway but they're too extreme country for me.

Anyway , two of them are two brothers, crazy bastards , that live in shed houses on 40acs.
l dunno , they sort of have this way though of popping up as they drive past , they'll stop next minute shoving a beer in your hand . l love a beer but if you take one your then joined at the hip l think and these two are wild buggers , always drunk. They've come down and asked for a hand a few times , same as the beer if you don't your scum . So l've helped them out a few times , knowing though it's gonna tie you together in their eyes.
They've ended up helping out here a few times to. Same thing, if they offer and you try to get out of it or knock them back you'll be scum.
They know l have my d on the wk/ends and often the other girls to as l've told them and sorta asked them not to drop in on wk/ends.
But the main one , bit crazy and VERY towy when drunk - 90% of the time- keeps turning up on the wk ends anyway. Always drunk , crazy eyes. One Sunday it took me 2hrs to get him to go home without getting into a fight with him.It's often an hr , hr and half.

So l've had enough and went round to see him , the brother was there , just as crazy l think too. Offered me a beer and l said no thanks but as usual , get offended if you don't so in the end l took one.
Everything's well , sorta ok but they'd both just came round again , drunk and crazy last Sun so l said , look guys your gonna have to stop coming over drunk on the wk ends. You know l have my girls over , it's just not good.
That was it , the real crazy one flew off , yeling put down that fkg beer , l'm a ct, l'm a user , he only came round for 5mins 0 um more like 8-9hrs all up , and as wild crazy as it gets . Eff off , fk off and don't come back ra ra .

l dunno , things are already bad enough, now this. They sorta know all the locals , 2 of them have warned me about them.
But they also seem to help others out and if they help you out your bound in some weird way. So l dunno really where they stand with who ever else along my rd .
l definitely feel the odd one out though and with them all knowing what's happened with my family , me not fitting in at all and so trying to keep to myself, now this.
The place has just gone on the market , l want out so bad living like this here and family memories all over it too.

l don't know how to get through it , or what to do about the locals , especially these two.

Any tips , advice ?


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## Oldrandwisr (Jun 22, 2013)

One quick thought...

In case it takes too long to sell, would your situation allow for you to rent it out until it sells and you could use the rent money for a temporary place in town? 

Being a landlord is a big responsibility, but it may be the lesser of two evils.

If not, consider getting a devoted, loveable, yet intimidating dog perhaps?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Explain to them that with your daughter and her friends out there, you might lose custody/visitation rights if they keep coming around and word gets out as it will that there's a regular "party" going on. You might even say that some friends are reluctant to come over because they are afraid of them, girls being girls. Then tell them that while they are your neighbors, your FAMILY comes first, surely they can understand this. Inform them that you will welcome their visits once in a while during the week but on weekends when your daughter is there or other times when you might be "busy" (wink wink, even if it's not the case, you can throw it in there) you are going to draw the line and defend your right as a property owner to say who will be there and who will not (they will get this.) 

The final step in all this is to tell them that you're going to make your request official, that it's a matter of dotting i's and crossing t's to cover your butt in terms of custody/visitation rights of your daughter. Have an attorney draft up your request to them, and send it notarized, return receipt mail and if this does not work, use Sheriff's office to deliver with affidavit. CC a copy to the local police station.

I can almost guarantee they won't be upset. They might gripe but in the end you will have earned their RESPECT and they will be a little bit AFRAID of you because YOUR CRAZY will TRUMP theirs. 

It sounds like you are living next door to my brothers. :rofl:
You need to toughen up a bit and learn to set boundaries if you're going to live in the country. You can afford to be a bit scruffy and seem a bit 'off' on the weekends, don't let them get the monopoly on "nutso" or you're toast.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Oldrandwisr said:


> One quick thought...
> 
> In case it takes too long to sell, would your situation allow for you to rent it out until it sells and you could use the rent money for a temporary place in town?
> 
> ...



Thanks Wiser , ha ha l like the dog . You can't hear anyone come in on this place unless it's one of these two yelling and screaming.

Thinking about renting it but really it is as you say and we have no spare back up cash if they trash it or don't pay their rent. Bit of a worry .
Trying to think of something though !


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Explain to them that with your daughter and her friends out there, you might lose custody/visitation rights if they keep coming around and word gets out as it will that there's a regular "party" going on. You might even say that some friends are reluctant to come over because they are afraid of them, girls being girls. Then tell them that while they are your neighbors, your FAMILY comes first, surely they can understand this. Inform them that you will welcome their visits once in a while during the week but on weekends when your daughter is there or other times when you might be "busy" (wink wink, even if it's not the case, you can throw it in there) you are going to draw the line and defend your right as a property owner to say who will be there and who will not (they will get this.)
> 
> The final step in all this is to tell them that you're going to make your request official, that it's a matter of dotting i's and crossing t's to cover your butt in terms of custody/visitation rights of your daughter. Have an attorney draft up your request to them, and send it notarized, return receipt mail and if this does not work, use Sheriff's office to deliver with affidavit. CC a copy to the local police station.
> 
> ...



Yeah right , on the last bits l mean.

Explaining the whys , hmm , l started to try that with them this time and l've also been there 2-3 other times. it's logical enough to you and me but that was the answer l got this time.
l managed to get out it scares the girls , it's very risky in my custody - l got a scoff that turned into a snarl and the language started flying . 
Talking about 60 seconds here . 
The real crazy ones quite a nice block when his sober but still towy . After a few beers though , crazy eyed mad man.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Tell them you are in AA and being around them is not good for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

And on a more sinister but realistic note, they are probably coming by specifically to ogle the girls, then go home and ruminate on them later. Your call as to putting your foot down.

Not my dirty mind, but have gone through this with my brothers, one of them had a friend he would have come over and they'd go outside and drink beer, his daughter complained to her mom that she wasn't allowed to have curtains or shades in her room, and that the men were outside her bedroom at night in the yard, the mom (former sister in law) asked me did I think it was true. Knowing my brothers, I said, h*ll yes and called social services to back her up. None of it ended well, but there you have it. You have to at least try to draw the line somewhere.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

whitehawk said:


> Yeah right , on the last bits l mean.
> 
> Explaining the whys , hmm , l started to try that with them this time and l've also been there 2-3 other times. it's logical enough to you and me but that was the answer l got this time.
> l managed to get out it scares the girls , it's very risky in my custody - l got a scoff that turned into a snarl and the language started flying .
> ...


Tell them the bottom line is it's YOUR property and you don't want them there, that it's your right and that's the way it is. Follow up with paperwork, make sure the police have it, and next time call the police in. You might get harassed but you can take them to court on that. You need a video monitoring system as well. Don't be a wussy on this. There's nothing that says you need to be "nice." They're having fun toying with you and the fun (and the girls most likely) is what it's all about. Make it not fun for them any more. If they have to go to court, have to deal with the police, etc. it will stop being fun.


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## Wild Mustang (Oct 26, 2013)

Every time they come over put them to hard labor!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Randomly fire off a shotgun on your property when you know they're around their shacks and such. In fact line up some empties and blast away at them vaguely in the direction of their shacks but not at them. 

Put a big chain across your driveway. 

Go to the pound and get some Staffies or Rottweilers. Friend of mine had some sketchy Army Dobermans trained to operate in pairs as perimeter dogs - one would approach dead on the other would sneak in behind. Just stand their and twitch if you moved. Also trained not to bark.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Thanks for the tips people. Ha yeah, wish l owned a shotty sometimes, or a couple of rotties, freaken cost me a couple of grand though.
Yeah the girls are only 12-13 , not that that'd stop some but nah they've never been around them , l don't let these two in the house . One day the crazy one [ although l think they're both crazy now but] did turn when the girls were outside and he actually apologized and left straight away . He was sober that day though.
When he's drunk and l remind him if he turns up on a w/e he often apologizes then too but says he has a few on the w/e and then forgets . l can usually get him out the gate again in 10 or 15, 30 but one day he was a bit crazy and got offended , l'm thinking wtf l'm gonna end up in a blue right here with this nutter . Got him out there eventually in the end 2hrs .

When he went off the other night after l told him no more , the brother was there too he was looking really towy. ln a way l thought though ok , this could work out well . His told me to eff off l've got no reason to put up with them now, help them or them me, this could be a bonus and finish this bs 
Hoping they never come back from here , never know l spose.
lf they did come good and offer help again or ask, perfect opp to get rid of the lot right now really, stay the hell away from it once and for all maybe :scratchhead: 

But yeah , gonna take the advice here of not letting it go on if they do turn up again. lt's bs isn't it.
lt's weird though isn't it , when your the new kid on the block in any situation really l spose , can be damn tricky can't it.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Build a fence, privacy if possible around the property with a gate at your driveway. I know it's not a feasible solution, but it would be effective. 

Good luck with your neighbors. You are kinda stuck in a bad situation. I understand that you don't want to cause conflict, but sometimes your going to have to stand up for yourself and your girls. These guys don't sound like they respect anyone. They are extremely selfish and controlling on top of being drunk and everything else. I probably would of gone off on them by now telling them not to step foot on my property while drinking. 

We put a handle on our door where you need to punch in a 4 digit number/code in order to get into the house. We don't want neighbors or even strangers to just walk right in(they have in the past and nearly got bit by our two protection dogs). If your neighbors might just decide to walk right into your home trying to find you. This doesn't keep them out of your yard, but certainly out if your home, especially when your girls are home. 

I couldn't live without a couple dogs protecting us and our home. You don't need a pair of rotties to do the job.lol We have a med sized Aussie and a golden that truly guard for us. They protect our flock of chickens as well, which is a bonus. These two dogs are great with our family, especially our kids. We do have full control of them when outside which does take continuous training. 

Good luck with your arrogant bully neighbors. It sounds like they are going to do whatever they feel like doing.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

We were in a similar situation and described my neighbors from hell story Here  (post #157)
....they were drunk, wrecked into my car on our property, refused to pay, I put up a fence, their friends hit it... I put up a sign -wanted to say "Don't hit the F'n fence" (but left the F'n out).....the woman came tearing out of the house asking my husband if she wanted her BF to rough him up (not in so many words)..... with all that BS.. .we put up another sign ..."*For sale*" in our front yard...

There is no dealing with idiots who have no respect for other people's boundaries, property and way of living... Sounds you are trying to get out.. have the place up for sale... It's the only thing that would have given us peace with neighbors like that...

In the mean time... just do what you can do to keep your girls "safe" - surely you aren't worried their behavior is some influence, if anything -you could use their antics to teach them a lesson in life...saying..."see girls... don't go with men who Booze it up....this may be how they end up"...

If they do not destruct your property, this is one plus... though their fowl mouths getting so upset and defensive- if you don't take a beer...how ridiculous... that's tough.. 

I feel for you....hang in there... IN our case, those neighbors helped push us out at the perfect time ... and it ended up being a blessing... maybe your story will be similar, but during it ...it feels like HELL... this I remember.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Build a fence, privacy if possible around the property with a gate at your driveway. I know it's not a feasible solution, but it would be effective.
> 
> Good luck with your neighbors. You are kinda stuck in a bad situation. I understand that you don't want to cause conflict, but sometimes your going to have to stand up for yourself and your girls. These guys don't sound like they respect anyone. They are extremely selfish and controlling on top of being drunk and everything else. I probably would of gone off on them by now telling them not to step foot on my property while drinking.
> 
> ...


Nah , they aren't in an arrogant way or in a bullying way , eff that l wouldn't have tried to be patient if that was the case.
lt's seemed more a wanna be friendly all the time thing , they think we're friends.
they've also offered to help with things dozens of times , so atleast l certainly haven't read it as any bullying of sorts. emotional blackmail maybe like we helped you so we're bound for life :scratchhead:
you might've let fly by noiw but it's different being female , they can.
but if your one guy alone and it's two crazy drunks that have a heap of even rougher drunk friends , you should see some of them, and l have kids around the property , you have to be a little bit wary , tactful . 

The house is private but it's on an ac , you couldn't fence or block it more than it is.l never let them in the house itself.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> We were in a similar situation and described my neighbors from hell story Here  (post #157)
> ....they were drunk, wrecked into my car on our property, refused to pay, I put up a fence, their friends hit it... I put up a sign -wanted to say "Don't hit the F'n fence" (but left the F'n out).....the woman came tearing out of the house asking my husband if she wanted her BF to rough him up (not in so many words)..... with all that BS.. .we put up another sign ..."*For sale*" in our front yard...
> 
> There is no dealing with idiots who have no respect for other people's boundaries, property and way of living... Sounds you are trying to get out.. have the place up for sale... It's the only thing that would have given us peace with neighbors like that...
> ...



Thanks for tha SA , l'm feeling for you too , god what a nightmare.
We had something similar at another place. It went on 12 mths , this rough [email protected]@/h and his dad , both had been pro fighters and the main one had done time for killing someone in a fight.
Again it was a new area , just me alone against these two and their clan of friends.
Stood up to him though , tried to avoid a punch up though and eventually he did what l wanted , shifted all these old cars away from the fence. He sorta snuck them of one by one over a few mths as if to show me - l'm not moving the cars- l'm just taking one here and there .
We had a bit of a laugh over it.
Funny thing , we sorta ended up friends.
Their kids played with ours , his W started coming over.
The kids were wild little bastards too , we then had to worry about them but it wasn't a bad out come considering.
We sold that place ha ha.

But no , these guys would never damage or abuse your property , hell they're always offering to help out with the place and have a few times.
They always admiring work l've done. And nah l don't let them near the kids , they haven't even met them.

Anyway , gonna read your neighbor thread , thanks for that . Hey , they say good fences make good neighbors don't they :rofl::rofl:


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

l'm thinking this might be a blessing now even if they do go and spread crap about me .
Maybe they won't come back , that'd be nice :smthumbup:


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

My advice is send no mixed messages. Treat them the same whether they are drunk or sober.

'Stay the hell away from me, and my family, and we'll get a long just fine.'

Don't smile. Don't wave hello. Don't engage. If they think you are a pr!ck, all the better.

Went through this a number of years ago. The individual was disturbed. Presumed ANYTHING that he didn't like or approve of, was a direct attack against him.

We tried being reasonable out of the gate. Problem always is, you can't reason with someone who's unreasonable.

We made it clear; "Don't talk to me, don't approach me, and don't come to our door."
He ranted and raved. I shook my head and walked away. 

Oddly enough, he ended up moving.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Hi DJ. These two are both disturbed l found out , they sound a lot a like to.
l have tried to be patient . The real crazy one is exactly like that, even a slight look his way is an attack or an eye or an whatever's in his head.
Then l've only just discovered the brother is way defensive over anything against the real crazy one. l never thought they got a long , they've both been been over but separate.
And , l've tried what you did with him from day one to but your spot on , you can't reason with him.
l've walked on eggshells with this guy trying to be tolerant but , to hell with that from here , look where it got me.

Thanks for the advice DJ , gonna go with what you've tried which was something like what l've been thinking too after the other night.
Did it turn the any of the other people in the district against you ?
Some of them round here seem to try to be patient with him and are friends with the other lesser madder one but , other people have warned me to stay the f away from him his a bit crazy.
Anyway the trying , the eggshells , all they got me was that in the end so fk that, no more .
l've actually had "him" treat me the way you describe on one of his - his attacked me kicks and l've thought , what a joke, what am l doing even bothering with this crazy.
So , what's good for the goose eh !

Bloody embarrassing to isn't it , having people like that hanging around ! Unfortunately they'll be there forever but, maybe my house sells soon :lol:


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> How do l handle bad neighbors, street, in my situation ?


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## moto164 (Aug 4, 2013)

Nothing worse than feuding neighbors except when your in the middle and they both expect you to be on there side. Had a friend that this happened to and he ended up selling.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah it can ruin your life , heard a few horror stories much worse than mine .
Our place is up for sale too, quietly prayin! :rofl:
But anyway good news, no drunks on my lawn this w/e , l could get to like this !


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## moto164 (Aug 4, 2013)

Yea you've got to be careful it can escalate quick.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah that's what l think moto.
Easy to say oh just do this or that but you see this stuff blow up all the time don't you.
Some people just seem to prefer bs in their lives.
l really couldn't handle any right now though, been a hell of a yr.

Anyway , good news people , 3 week ends now and no drunks on my fkg nature strip.
This is great :smthumbup:
Even though l'm pretty sure l can feel the daggers flying about but oh well at this point , just real happy to be left alone


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