# What do I do?



## Tony Ppah (10 mo ago)

Hello. Happy to be here, I'm lost and don't know what to do and I am hoping that I would get some good advice from you guys.

I will try to be as telegraphic as possible. So I was clinically depressed for 3-4 years and got left without friends, partner, money (I always had enough before) or life. I had to move to another city and start anew. Just about 2 years later I started picking up and I was at a good upward path, just about that time I've met my partner. Partner adviced to quit my job and join uni to get my degree, which I did, and more or less now I am completely financially and emotionally dependent on my partner. We both have issues and it got to a point where abuse is intolerable. not to get into more details I am at a point where I know I should leave. We lately get into fights where I literally admit to my partner that I have no choice but to surrender to the abuse, and that is true, because I do not have the energy or money or any future that would be better than what I have now, at least not for the next 3 years. I am completely drained and helpless, I dont know what to do


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

If you have your degree, why are you still financially dependent on your partner? Get a job, and start looking in to what it takes to leave -- place to stay, lawyer, etc. Why will it be 3 years before you leave?
IF you are still in school -- pause that (or go part time -- night and weekends) and get a job and get yourself out of this. You DO have that power -- don't just feel helpless here.

Will your partner go to marriage counseling with you?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Tony Ppah said:


> Hello. Happy to be here, I'm lost and don't know what to do and I am hoping that I would get some good advice from you guys.
> 
> I will try to be as telegraphic as possible. So I was clinically depressed for 3-4 years and got left without friends, partner, money (I always had enough before) or life. I had to move to another city and start anew. Just about 2 years later I started picking up and I was at a good upward path, just about that time I've met my partner. Parter adviced to quit job and join uni to get my degree which I did and more or less now I am completely financially and emotionally dependent on her. We both have issues and it got to a point where abuse is intolerable. not to get into more details I am at a point where I know I should leave. We lately get into fights where I literally admit to her that I have no choice but to surrender to the abuse, and that is true, because I do not have the energy or money or any future that would be better than what I have now, at least not for the next 3 years. I am completely drained and helpless, I dont know what to do


Hi Tony, sorry you’re in a terrible situation.

Not to put too fine an edge on it…but you already know what to do, you said it yourself.
Get yourself out of that situation.

You need to break those dependencies and scoot.
What is it specifically that you’re having trouble with?
Are you having trouble finding the strength do it it?


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## Tony Ppah (10 mo ago)

Thank you for your replies. I am still at school and need 3 years to finish. I have to literally give up everything and start completely alone from scratch. I am at a good place with a good potential currently but if I let go now I am going to be completely at ground zero, THAT terrifies me. I had to do that twice in the past (one: parents left and two:deression)and I dont think I have the strength to do it a third time, Im also getting older which is also a factor.


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## Tony Ppah (10 mo ago)

If I wasn't me I would probably say to me "go on you can do it... blah blah" I know... I just can't right now


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Tony Ppah said:


> If I wasn't me I would probably say to me "go on you can do it... blah blah" I know... I just can't right now


Well, it’s your life. You don’t have to change it If you don’t want to.

Do you want to revisit the question after you have another 6months or year under your belt?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

what do you consider to be this "abuse".
apparently your partner is paying for you to go to university? Or is this in a country where university if free to everyone?
Are you studying hard and getting good grades?
Or are you kissing it all off and smoking dope?

Sounds like you need to buckle down, work hard, maybe accelerate when you get your degree. concentrate on school work, which should leave little time for other things. 
Finish the degree and THEN see if things are too bad to hang around.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

What is the abuse? Physical? Sexual? Emotional?


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