# To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it with?



## Boxing judge (Aug 29, 2014)

I would assume most of them are with some one at work or maybe exes. 

Was it some one they met at gym? Online, Starbucks?

Who did your husband/wife cheat on you with?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

To sum it up, generally, losers.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

It varies.

My first LTR girlfriend cheated on me with a woman who, it transpired, she'd already had a relationship with before she met me.

My wife cheated on me with a former boss of hers.

I had a stupid, drunken revenge affair, my OW was an equally drunken friend from a hobby group.

Is there a pattern there? Not really.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Mine: online, someone I met in a game, through my husband.

His: online, someone he met in that same game


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

First husband cheated with women he met in medical school and the hospitals he worked at. I almost forgot.. he also cheated with the mother of a friend of our then 6 year old son.


Second husband cheated with women he met online. It was mostly all online. But he did meet some of them for flings when he traveled for business.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

POS #1- family friend as our daughters were close.

POS #2- friend of the neighbors and just started working on her when I was at work.

POS #3- some ex-con she met at a community college she was taking classes at.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Mine: online, someone I met in a game, through my husband.
> 
> His: online, someone he met in that same game


Well, even in betrayal you two had something in common.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Family "friend", part of another couple we hung out with.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> First husband cheated with women he met in medical school and the hospitals he worked at. I almost forgot.. he also cheated with the mother of a friend of our then 6 year old son.
> 
> 
> Second husband cheated with women he met online. It was mostly all online. But he did meet some of them for flings when he traveled for business.


I wasn't aware both husbands betrayed you.

That's sad.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

1st: Coworker - 2 year Ltr (25 years ago)
2nd: Coworker - 1 year Ltr (2 years ago)
3rd: Coworker - ONS (2 years ago)


- found out about all three at once


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

My WW had a six month affair with a co-worker.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I met two women, online on "adult friend" websites. I wasn't going to find someone with any link to my "real life". 

C


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

ouch Harry Doyle. That has to hurt. 25 years and then 2. Does it make you question anything in between ? Sorry to hear this


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

*Re: Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



thatbpguy said:


> Well, even in betrayal you two had something in common.


Yea, and his started after mine. I betrayed him, dusconnected, and then his started. His didn't last as long.


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## Confused In Florida (Nov 3, 2014)

My now ex girlfriend (mother of my son) cheated with a guy she met on an airplane. Thats all I know of right now, but their are probably more.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Mostly online dating and Craig's list *****s.

One woman at a work related conference two ONS's a year apart. 

I'll never know how many but just gross people.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

My old lady picked up young guys at bars. the whole lonely house wife cougar thing.

A couple of cops, navy guy, one friend of a friend thing, my old "good" friend, a convict, but for the most part mostly strange...and oh ya a chick but they brought a guy with.

She stopped at an even 20 

As for serial cheaters go, she would be president of the club.

We were both really phucked up back then....we are both happier and healthier now that those days are over. We can't believe we are still alive to see our 1st grand baby being born after all the sh1t we did to each other and both went through.


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## Deni (Oct 23, 2014)

One of the worst I guess...the boss


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

My x cheated with a coworker


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## shellgames (Sep 2, 2014)

WW with a family "friend"


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Him with ex. She's a s**t who's up for anything. 
He certainly lost contact with her of his own accord. Not sure who else, if any at all. He's had his profile on f*ck sites while we been split up. Said none other but who knows. Plenty of dubious behaviour 'back in the day'.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

wmn1 said:


> ouch Harry Doyle. That has to hurt. 25 years and then 2. Does it make you question anything in between ? Sorry to hear this


I had the same thought.


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## SomeGuyWhoNeedsHelp (Nov 21, 2014)

Wife cheated with a friend she knew from college, but allegedly nothing sexual during their time in college. She told me he was like a brother to her so after we were married. So I guess she committed incest in her mind as well.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

SomeGuyWhoNeedsHelp said:


> Wife cheated with a friend she knew from college, but allegedly nothing sexual during their time in college. She told me he was like a brother to her so after we were married. So I guess she committed incest in her mind as well.


Cheaters will say anything to keep their sh1t hidden...my favorite cheater quote is..." he is like a son to me"

Now thats some phucked up sh1t right there!


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Mine was an EA , with an Ex I knew 20 years back , she had cancer 4 times ; I flew 10000 mile , met her ; left her on the day of big event to come back to my wife ; confessed everything to her ...

Do I now feel guilty ?

after all what happened between me and my wife.

Yes now i feel guilty to the other woman !

because : " 'The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her."


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

My WH picked up his OWs at bars. I was trying really hard to be the "cool wife" who encouraged him to go out without me and never asked questions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dkphap13 (Oct 21, 2014)

Deni said:


> One of the worst I guess...the boss


You forgot about the others that you have cheated on 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dkphap13 (Oct 21, 2014)

My wife: 
1. boy friend she cheated on with her guy friend, PA 
2. She cheated on him with me, her boss at the time. PA
3. She cheated on me with a Male coworker. EA
4. She cheated on me again with her BOSS. PA 

Well I am a serial cheater I don't even know were to begin. 

Have to say it was my wife's PA that put some sense in me. Will never do it again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_

No really will never do it again


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

dkphap13 said:


> My wife:
> 1. boy friend she cheated on with her guy friend, PA
> 2. She cheated on him with me, her boss at the time. PA
> 3. She cheated on me with a Male coworker. EA
> ...


Sooo...

When is she getting served?


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## guyinsetx (Nov 24, 2014)

Mine was a coworker. We would go at it in side room in office during biz hours. it was intense


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Well let's see

A neighbor who was a close friend(may have went on for a long time she says sex only happened once and he pursued her for years after, phone calls texts etc but she kept putting him off)

Someone she met while we were at a party in a local bar

An EA with someone she met on a GNO

A few others she was sexting

That's all she has admitted to or I have found out about, think there may be more either others I haven't found out about or more to stories of the existing people I know about.

When the trails go cold all you are left with are unanswered questions and doubts tough life to live


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Wife:

OM1, Boss
OM2, HS Friend
OM3, College BF
OM4, ?


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

My ex-wife slept with whoever would buy her drinks at any given bar.


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## justsomedudeNJ (Aug 3, 2014)

My STBX cheated on me with an abusive ex-boyfriend from high school after a flirtanship via Facebook. He is a married father of 4.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

ex-wife cheated long-term, at least 9 years, with some jerk who lives i the apartments she managed.

she also had another affair while we were engaged that i didn't find out about until we'd been married 16 years. she didn't think it "counted."

I also think she had at least one other affair before the long one, but I don't have good evidence.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

My ex-husband cheated on me, for the most part, with random strangers he met at parties, bars and other events. Most, but not all, were while he was out of town on hobby trips. The majority of those were one night stands, but there were also a couple of longer affairs that began that way but continued, off and on, for months or even years. 

There were also a few co-workers, wives of co-workers, ex-girlfriends, friends of friends, one of _my_ friends, and even the mother of one of our son's friends. Mostly heavy flirtations, sexting and EA's there, with a couple going to PA. 

Oh, and the LTA with a neighbor/family friend. That was actually the last one, chronologically, but was the one I found out about first. I found out about all the others at one time, after nearly 3 years of false R.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

My wife cheated with her best friend's husband.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Rowan said:


> My ex-husband cheated on me, for the most part, with random strangers he met at parties, bars and other events. Most, but not all, were while he was out of town on hobby trips. The majority of those were one night stands, but there were also a couple of longer affairs that began that way but continued, off and on, for months or even years.
> 
> There were also a few co-workers, wives of co-workers, ex-girlfriends, friends of friends, one of _my_ friends, and even the mother of one of our son's friends. Mostly heavy flirtations, sexting and EA's there, with a couple going to PA.
> 
> Oh, and the LTA with a neighbor/family friend. That was actually the last one, chronologically, but was the one I found out about first. I found out about all the others at one time, after nearly 3 years of false R.


Damn.


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

badmemory said:


> My wife cheated with her best friend's husband.


Dang! How else could a person so completely shatter the lives of those who love them? What a horrible thing to do!


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

commonsenseisn't said:


> Dang! How else could a person so completely shatter the lives of those who love them? What a horrible thing to do!


Yes, I always wonder what mental gymnastics are used to justify their actions.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Damn.


Yeah.

That's why when people ask why I divorced him, I just say "infidelity". People seem confused and ask for explanations if you say "serial cheating", and no one really wants to hear all the details.


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## badkarma2013 (Nov 9, 2013)

commonsenseisn't said:


> Dang! How else could a person so completely shatter the lives of those who love them? What a horrible thing to do!


Have asked my self that many times...AS most of you know my XWW wanted to go back to work..we did NOT need the money ..but i encouraged her....as she seemed to want this.

THe OM was her boss 12 yrs her jr...he ended up promoting her ,so the could travel together...

Making it short....i found out ...outed him to his now EW and sued their company..they both lost their jobs...

In retaliation the OM showed me pic of my WW engaged in sex acts that for 22 yrs she said was vile and disgusting..but she did them with the OM..

After that filing for D was easy!

What was left....2 families burned to the ground....


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## Farmer_J (Jan 15, 2013)

My first wife had what I guess was an EA with a school colleague for Law Enforcement. I don't know if it went any further than that. All I had was evidence of flirting.
Believe it or not, the guy was engaged at the time. They left their significant others so they could be together. They are now married for 8 years.

Second wife had online EA's with a guy she knew from an dating site & a guy she knew from college. DDay was an online EA with a guy she knew from Facebook. Also found out that she was physical (kissing) with her fitness trainer....although she blames him for forcing himself on her.


Yeah, its horrible to have two spouses do this to me. I thought the second one would save me from ever having to experience betrayal ever again. I was so wrong.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

2, maybe 3 old HS classmates reconnected via Facebook

1 classmate from her master's program.

2 friends she met through community theater.

Those are the ones I know of. Could be more through our old church. I suspect something, but don't really care anymore as we are divorced.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

commonsenseisn't said:


> Dang! How else could a person so completely shatter the lives of those who love them? What a horrible thing to do!


It didn't shatter her best friend's life too much apparently. She refused to acknowledge it was a PA (to me), refused to read the e-mail evidence she was given, threatened to send me to jail for attempting to hack her computer (lol), told me I should do my wife a favor and leave her, told my wife I was controlling/abusive because I insisted that she end that friendship and desperately tried to remain friends with my wife. 

Prior to and during their A, I also read e-mails from this BFF where she encouraged my wife to find someone else and attempt to start a new life. Well guess what, she did; and fittingly for her, it just happened to be with her own husband.

An absolute total, head in the sand, co-dependent, idiot. 

Her husband (posom) will just simply cheat on her with another one of her friends. That's how he rolls.

Okay, I feel better now.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

......I can only wish that I knew who my wife cheated with. Almost 20 years later ......she still refuses to tell me who he was.


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ......I can only wish that I knew who my wife cheated with. Almost 20 years later ......she still refuses to tell me who he was.


Then it's either someone you know, or she "cheated down" so bad that she doesn't want the embarrassment of you knowing who he was.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ......I can only wish that I knew who my wife cheated with. Almost 20 years later ......*she still refuses to tell me who he was.*


Don't get me started on why you accepted that - assuming you're still married.


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## wonderwhy (Oct 8, 2014)

Stbxww of 18 years cheated with her co worker. I have disconnected, don't even know if they are still seeing each other......don't care. Now I also have suspicions about other possible affairs, but it doesn't matter.....it's done.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

My H is a mechanic he cheated with a woman that he had been doing work on her & her H cars for years..


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## Me Vietare (Nov 26, 2014)

Church choir director. The jerk was bedding about a third of the women in the group.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

badmemory said:


> Don't get me started on why you accepted that - assuming you're still married.


Uh....Yeah....

Was wondering the same.


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## dkphap13 (Oct 21, 2014)

badmemory said:


> It didn't shatter her best friend's life too much apparently. She refused to acknowledge it was a PA (to me), refused to read the e-mail evidence she was given, threatened to send me to jail for attempting to hack her computer (lol), told me I should do my wife a favor and leave her, told my wife I was controlling/abusive because I insisted that she end that friendship and desperately tried to remain friends with my wife.
> 
> Prior to and during their A, I also read e-mails from this BFF where she encouraged my wife to find someone else and attempt to start a new life. Well guess what, she did; and fittingly for her, it just happened to be with her own husband.
> 
> ...


Wow are there people like that out there. Talk about a super idiot. Sorry to say wow no I really don't know what too say. I think I would just get pleasure of rubbing it in her face. I think this is the best and the most twisted story I have heard so far on TAM.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Damn.


I think that deserves a second...........DAMN!

Actually, many of these stories deserve to get a couple of damns thrown their way. WOW!


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



GROUNDPOUNDER said:


> Then it's either someone you know, or she "cheated down" so bad that she doesn't want the embarrassment of you knowing who he was.


.....in the beginning ...after she told me what she did (ONS) ...I "accepted" her explanation that it was someone she "just met" ...in a bar one night. That he was 'different' from me ...and was younger than I was by about ten years.

.....and ...I've tried to get past that as part of the reconciliation process (which ...BTW ....is ...as I have found out ...an ongoing 'work in progress' that never ends). 

But over the years ...I've let a calmer me analyze her story ....and the sh!t she said just didn't add up .....promoting a slight decrease in my "hurt" .....and an exponential increase in my anger. 

I definitely think she "cheated down" ....given the place she says she met the scumbag. I also think that she knew this person and it wasn't a 'chance meeting'. She has never revealed the person's name ...out of 'concern' that I'd hunt them down and kill them. Of course ..to this day ....she swears that it was someone I don't know ...and she met that night ..or day.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



badmemory said:


> Don't get me started on why you accepted that - assuming you're still married.


.......I too ....question my decision to accept that ....on a daily basis.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



Hurtin_Still said:


> .....in the beginning ...after she told me what she did (ONS) ...I "accepted" her explanation that it was someone she "just met" ...in a bar one night. That he was 'different' from me ...and was younger than I was by about ten years.
> 
> .....and ...I've tried to get past that as part of the reconciliation process (which ...BTW ....is ...as I have found out ...an ongoing 'work in progress' that never ends).
> 
> ...


You should have insisted to be informed as part of your R.

She has no right to deprive you of that info. She does not seem that remorseful. You could be bumping into this guy and not know it..

But as long as your happy. It does not sound like you are however.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



ConanHub said:


> You should have insisted to be informed as part of your R.
> 
> She has no right to deprive you of that info. She does not seem that remorseful. You could be bumping into this guy and not know it..
> 
> But as long as your happy. It does not sound like you are however.


........not happy ..at all. But I'm working on it. I gotta' hold some hope that I'll get there some day


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



Hurtin_Still said:


> ........not happy ..at all. But I'm working on it. I gotta' hold some hope that I'll get there some day


Very sorry that you don't have something more out of this.

Don't you think you have a right to demand more?

She should be making your life as beautiful and pain free as possible.

It really seems like she is short changing you after betraying you.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

XW No. 1- A corporate climber in data systems, she performed a quid pro quo for a VP boss of hers who gave her various unmerited promotions and raises; 
all while she was reciprocating by giving him "raises" by hauling his 
ashes in local motel rooms and on out-of-town business trips.

XW No. 2-(rich skanky XW)-she hooked up with two POSOMen on FB. 
POSOM#1- best friend of rich, skanky XW's deceased first H who had become a Willie Nelson wannabe musician in the Texas Hill Country.

POSOM#2- an ex-high school boyfriend of hers who had eventually become a physician in South Texas, was married with five grown kids.

She hooked up with both of them in their locales by making out-of-town "business" trips to see them both, all without me ever having the first damned clue as to their existence or what was "arising" between them. To my knowledge, they didn't even know about each other. Then after letting these two paramours "stir the pudding," she'd rush back home to me letting me get ravenously amorous with her, unknowingly that perhaps only mere hours before, one of them had been with her!

I never found out about any of this until long past our separation, which was roughly a year into it.

And to this very day, I still feel so damned unclean just thinking back on it!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ......I can only wish that I knew who my wife cheated with. Almost 20 years later ......she still refuses to tell me who he was.





badmemory said:


> Don't get me started on why you accepted that - assuming you're still married.





ConanHub said:


> Uh....Yeah....
> 
> Was wondering the same.


Hmm... I wonder if there were any kids born between then and now.


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## Lamailman (Nov 2, 2014)

Boxing judge said:


> I would assume most of them are with some one at work or maybe exes.
> 
> Was it some one they met at gym? Online, Starbucks?
> 
> Who did your husband/wife cheat on you with?


Wife's first cousin's stepson. A POS that has nothing and can't keep a job.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Both of H's affairs were with different co-workers. The first e-mailed me with "I knew what I was doing...." 

The second emailed me with, "I didn't do anything, I don't know why your H would confess something like that..." 

She admitted it a few weeks later when I threatened to go to her Chain of Command about the situation.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



GusPolinski said:


> Hmm... I wonder if there were any kids born between then and now.


.......only one.

.......about 9 mos after her ONS. 

.......another dilemma to deal with.

.......life sucks ......more often than I can almost deal with sometimes.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

*Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



Hurtin_Still said:


> .......only one.
> 
> .......about 9 mos after her ONS.
> 
> ...


Uhhh...

Dude. I'd have to know.

Sorry, man.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



GusPolinski said:


> Uhhh...
> 
> Dude. I'd have to know.
> 
> Sorry, man.


I'm with Gus here.

God. You deserve so much more. 

I can't comprehend why you have allowed so much pain without relief.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

*Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



ConanHub said:


> I'm with Gus here.
> 
> God. You deserve so much more.
> 
> I can't comprehend why you have allowed so much pain without relief.


Word.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

*Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



Hurtin_Still said:


> ........not happy ..at all. But I'm working on it. I gotta' hold some hope that I'll get there some day


Hurtin_Still,

I remember your old threads. The advice you go back then still stands.

1) Get a DNA test of your daughter. She was 17 back then. She must be 19 by now. You will be able to love your daughter regardless of whether she is blond because OM was blond.

Once you know the truth, you may find that you don't care about who OM is anymore.

2) Your wife lets you suffer and suffer. You are supposed to get over it. Why? You never had sex with another woman. You were her only and she wrecked that. If she were truly remorseful, you'd forgive her, wouldn't you. That's all you've wanted for the past 17 years. Genuine remorse.

3) Your sex life has been bad. Lose weight, exercise. Work on being happier. That will attract your wife. But if it is not working, then do a modified 180. Read neuklas's thread. He got his wife chasing him.

4) You love your wife. You have written it over and over. But does she love you?


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## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

Someone shaped like a potato. 

And with intelligence to match.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

Ok , 

we all confessed here ; what is next


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## dkphap13 (Oct 21, 2014)

Hurtin_Still said:


> She has never revealed the person's name ...out of 'concern' that I'd hunt them down and kill them. Of course ..to this day ....she swears that it was someone I don't know ...and she met that night ..or day.



Wait I min. Ok did you just read what your wrote?? 

If it was some one you did not know and if it was some one she just meet. 

How would you be able to hunt him down ???? It is some she still see or you still know. If I was in her place I have never or will never see that person again I would not very to much about you killing him becouse how would you find him if I don't know how to find him catch my drift ???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dkphap13 (Oct 21, 2014)

Lamailman said:


> Wife's first cousin's stepson. A POS that has nothing and can't keep a job.


And we have a winner
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lamailman (Nov 2, 2014)

dkphap13 said:


> Lamailman said:
> 
> 
> > Wife's first cousin's stepson. A POS that has nothing and can't keep a job.
> ...


Haha. Not sure if this is a good thing..I guess she was trying to keep it in the family. Wife and the stepson are only a few years apart in age and not blood related but still a f ' ed situation


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

My ex WS was still living wit her husband when we met. I never met the man and she assured me it was well and truly over and she was there until she found digs. Some weeks later she came to live with me. I never gave it much thought until recent times but I was in effect the OM for a short time. However the bloke never came after me, never created a stir, so there must have been truth to her words.

But....she was cheating on her husband prior to meeting me. When we got together she met up with this anonymous man to say goodbye. To this day she refuses to identify this man - she described him as an investment banker but I have always suspected it was a senior manager who she followed to my place of work. They both started at the same time. The big buffoon became my boss and it must have pissed him off that we got together. 

A little later she revealed that she had slept with her best girlfriend's partner; years before she had met me. Yes, I should have taken this more seriously, the alarm bells should have rung but I was in love with her.

In 2012 she did the dirty on me with a married POS at her then place of employment. I found out after the fact. No remorse, blamed me and eventually shut up shop altogether - soon after the candy store was closed. It remained closed for more than 12 months while the lies flowed. I took the reigns earlier this year and it was the best thing I ever did.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Huzzah said:


> I am a man who has been married for 13 years. The last two years have been miserable and I found that I was seeking happiness from another woman. This woman and I have been working together for about ten months and have been intimate for the last 3 months. I know I sound like a terrible person but that is where I am at today.


Don't you have a thread about tying a woman up?

Your mistress?

I think you should be asking other questions my friend!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



LongWalk said:


> Hurtin_Still,
> 
> I remember your old threads. The advice you go back then still stands.
> 
> ...


.......at the moment ....only point #4 that you made ....resonates with my present thought processes over the past 11 months ( about the last time we had sex ). To be honest ...I don't know if she loves me ....but ...I think I know ...that she doesn't desire me ....and very possibly ...doesn't respect me ...or ...doesn't respect the feelings of someone that she's emotionally destroyed.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Lets see here.

1st time in 2006-2007 online affair with her ex BF that included plotting to have me arrested on false DV charges, take my children to Vegas to live and went underground for over a year. She'll never admit to sleeping with him yet damning statements such as informing him she was pregnant and telling him " We're having a girl, I guess things do happen for a reason" is just poor choice of words and stupidity on her part. Yes, I had a DNA test done.....After 7 years of wondering, she is mine thankful to say.

2nd time was with dip Shiite she met online in a video game. Queue the traditional cheaters script to a tee and presto her soul mate was found, who knew she was with the wrong person this whole time. It died out since he had to ya know, get a job and all since the bills kept piling up. How dare responsibilities get in the way of getting high and intruding on a marriage, of course when the door is opened for you...

3rd time was with another dude she met online, same game too, and took her efforts to another level with sexy pics and a topless shot. Of course wrapped in this anger is the irony of lies she put unto this guy. You see, after three children and not exercising how should we say gravity and such takes ones toll on the human body. So although these shots did look good and she did expose herself it was done with the intent of hiding her imperfections and other aspects she felt would be undesirable. These are things I never gave a crap about since I felt emotionally connected to her and just, well, didn't care. I loved her for who she was, not what she looked like at the time, and considering me getting her pregnant is what did most of the damage also aided in overlooking her body's so called imperfections. 

4th time, in progress, unknown who or if even true but refuses to show me proof and her animosity is thru the roof. Another online fling or maybe even a local dude given her disposition that would surprise me in the slightest. 

EA's for all, Possible PA for number one, no proof. 

All have been a level of hell I wish onto none.


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## Observer (Aug 23, 2011)

*Re: To the people that have been cheated on in marriage or cheated, who was it wi*



Hurtin_Still said:


> .....in the beginning ...after she told me what she did (ONS) ...I "accepted" her explanation that it was someone she "just met" ...in a bar one night. That he was 'different' from me ...and was younger than I was by about ten years.
> 
> .....and ...I've tried to get past that as part of the reconciliation process (which ...BTW ....is ...as I have found out ...an ongoing 'work in progress' that never ends).
> 
> ...


Never understood that reaction. I would want to shake his hand and thank him for exposing what a disloyal tramp she is. No one convinces these women to cheat, they made that choice and they alone are to blame. Make better choices, don't put yourself in poistion to cheat (bars, clubs, etc.)

Mine was a co-worker, never had any hard evidence though, she was very good at covering tracks. At least until I called the hotel she supposeably stayed in for work event and they had no record of her staying their and then she would not show me a receipt. Oh, and the 500 text messages to a collegue that she assured me was work related. 

Happier now than I've ever been so it all worked out.


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## helolover (Aug 24, 2012)

My 46 yo BPD X had an EA that progressed into a PA with her HS boyfriend. They reconnected via FB.

After that fizzled out, she immersed herself into her twitter universe and became a twitter attention *****. 

I am glad she is in my past.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

My STBXH cheated with his long term "just a friend" who he then tried to get me to be friends with (before I found them out). Why do cheaters do this? Weird.

Also a stripper rolleyes:he's all class), a couple of industry folks he knew from work (not going to say which industry), two other long term friends from his college and high school.


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