# Sex starved Marriage



## mrs_xtraordinary (Sep 7, 2012)

I apologize if this has been discussed before but I would like some advice. 

I am 24 and my husband is 31. We have been married almost a year, but this problem started before we married. When we first moved in together, we made love almost every other day. That was back in January 2011. Now, I am lucky if it is once a week! And it's usually on weekend nights.

I believe our sex life was changed when he started working his current job which was March 2011. Ever since he got this job he is too tired because he is a driving most of the day since he fills vending machines. Also, since we have lived together, my husband doesn't work out anymore and he eats more than just sandwiches and ramen noodles.
Before, he worked out 3 to 4 times a week, so he has gained about 40 pounds. 

I love to have sex with my husband and he says he loves having sex with me. We cuddle, we kiss, and we hold hands, and he even smacks my butt when I wear his favorite shorts of mine around the house. However, our sex life is almost non-existent.
When I try to initiate it, he tells me no or he is too tired, or he even pushes me away. I don't know what happened. I miss our sex life.

When he initiates it, he usually takes a special enhancer pill.


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## homebuilder (Aug 25, 2012)

You have to somehow get your point across because this will lead to a lot of hard feelings and troubles. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship and I have dealt with a LD wife and its no picnic. Your marriage will never be all it can be with this going on. You will never be ok with no sex and he will probably never want it as much as you but there has to be a middle ground you can both agree on.


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## MarriedMojo (Aug 19, 2012)

I am assuming he doesn't work 7 days a week so what about on those days? Have you told him how this makes you feel? Did he ever explain why he stopped working out? I can tell you first hand when I stopped a while back, work related as well, I went through a long spell where I was exausted all the time. Good or bad my wife was in ultra low drive mode at that point otherwise it probably would have been her posting up here not me.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Have you tried talking to him about this or mc ?? i would sit him down and explain what you just said that you would like to develop some more intimacy etc maybe start working out or exercising together to get him back into it he must feel pretty comfortable etc with yalls relationship everyone is different but i would think that even at his age and the length of time you have been married the number would be higher children and other issues normally start decreasing frequency 

Good Luck


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## mrs_xtraordinary (Sep 7, 2012)

I currently don't work out of the house. I babysit my sister-in-law's kids 5 days a week.

As far as him stopping working out, he couldn't afford it because he only worked a few days a week because of his job. He can afford it now, but he is too tired to work out. He passes out at 9:30 almost every night.


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## mrs_xtraordinary (Sep 7, 2012)

Sometimes I am concerned it is a health problem because he is in pain a lot, especially in his back.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Yall could go walking or jogging its free or go to local park or trails 
This is a good way to spend some time together and exercise.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mrs_xtraordinary (Sep 7, 2012)

It's something to try. Maybe it can get us back to that point.


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## MarriedMojo (Aug 19, 2012)

It may be health related. What time does he have to start work in the morning. If it like 5AM then I don't blame him for going to bed so early especially at a physically demanding job. It may be worth him having his back checked out just to be on the safe side. My guess is though it's less of a health problem and more of the fact that he has gained south weight so quickly and stopped working out. Even 5lbs on your body can be tough to carry around all day. Have any of his hobbies or activities other than sex changed?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mrs_xtraordinary (Sep 7, 2012)

MarriedMojo said:


> It may be health related. What time does he have to start work in the morning. If it like 5AM then I don't blame him for going to bed so early especially at a physically demanding job. It may be worth him having his back checked out just to be on the safe side. My guess is though it's less of a health problem and more of the fact that he has gained south weight so quickly and stopped working out. Even 5lbs on your body can be tough to carry around all day. Have any of his hobbies or activities other than sex changed?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He gets up anytime between 5:30-6:30AM. 

Nothing else has really changed besides the not working out anymore.


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## MarriedMojo (Aug 19, 2012)

Something just seems like its missing here. Has he said anything to you about how he is feeling? Is there any suspicions from you that he may be depressed because of how hard he is working? That very easily could be compounded because he feels guilty about not being able to give you what you need because of this. Personally only here, I am in bed between 11:30 and 12 each night and am up at 6A M-F.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mrs_xtraordinary (Sep 7, 2012)

MarriedMojo said:


> Something just seems like its missing here. Has he said anything to you about how he is feeling? Is there any suspicions from you that he may be depressed because of how hard he is working? That very easily could be compounded because he feels guilty about not being able to give you what you need because of this. Personally only here, I am in bed between 11:30 and 12 each night and am up at 6A M-F.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He talks about how much he hates his job is all. That he has to do more work than the other guy he works with even though my husband has been there longer. He hates driving almost five hours a day five days out of the week. 
It's hard to make him open up about it sometimes unless he is really relaxed and had a beer.


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## MarriedMojo (Aug 19, 2012)

It could just be depression. Depending on how serious a simple little pill could make life much better for both of you. I am not a doctor but might be good if you can convince him to talk to his doctor about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedMojo (Aug 19, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mrs_xtraordinary (Sep 7, 2012)

Thanks for the insight.


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## MarriedMojo (Aug 19, 2012)

From personal experience my wife used to complaint about her job and how much she hated it all the time. She got on an AD and life was much better for her. Her libido went down more than it already was but she was happier and that was a start.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

hates his job/quit working out/gained 40lbs.

its all right there!

hard to feel sexy when your balls tired and 40lbs overweight. 

somethings got to give and I hope its not his heart! very unhealthy.dose he have heart disease in his family?


I know when I put some pounds on even just a few pounds I feel self consious and less frisky.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Men typically need sexual release on an average of three times per week.
So where / how does he get off?
That may be part of the problem.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Get him to the doctor for a check-up.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Your young and newly married... this doesn't sound right... does he look at porn?

If he isn't giving his sexual energy to porn and you don't think he having an affair then I would ask him to have his T levels and general health tested. 

This is not a good start to a marriage...


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