# My mother reminded me that I was cheated on!



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Umm, gee, thanks mom!

I was visiting my mom this evening and somehow the subject of a former girl friend of mine came up.

I had become attracted to a woman who was a few years older than me. (This has happened a few times to me. Hmmm) 

We were getting on very well. No sex, but some kissing and cuddling.

One day she asked me why on earth I was going out with her, as she was old and unattractive. I said: "Do you mind if I describe the woman I see when I look at you?"

She sounded amused and said: "Oh, go on! Tell me!" When I described the her I saw, she looked at me somewhat puzzled and said: "But you make me sound as if you think I am sexy!" 

I replied: "I do think you are sexy! You ARE sexy!" She liked that very much!

The relationship lasted some months until one day I tried to phone her and got "number unobtainable." I checked with BT, they told me the number had been cancelled.

I wrote her several letters and cards, none of which were answered.

I was hurt and puzzled by this. I thought about visiting her house but decided against it.

A couple of months went by when a mutual acquaintance (who hadn't realised we'd been dating) said: "Well, it's good that your friend xxxx has remarried, isn't it?"

I said "What? She's... got married??" I felt sick and betrayed. They saw the look on my face and said: "Oh... my God! Were you and her going out together?"

I replied: "Well, I thought so. Clearly, she had other ideas." They commiserated with me and went on their way.

Fast forward to several years ago, about 20 years later. By chance my mother meets my former girl friend. After the usual greetings and stuff she said: "Please tell Matt that I still think about him. I still have feelings for him. I am sorry I treated him so badly. My marriage was a mistake. I haven't known any happiness during it. Please tell Matt that I have kept all the love letters he wrote to me. I still take them out and read them, sometimes, even now. I should have married Matt!"

I looked at my mother and said: "I don't know what to say!" (I was in shock, to be honest.) I then said, "Oh... s**t!"

I then recalled that several years ago my former girl friend had "coincidentally" visited the shop connected to the company I worked at.

Time had not been kind to her, she'd aged badly and there was a man with her who looked extremely old and extremely sour-faced. 

My ex-girlfriend said: "Oh, my God, Matt! You are looking good! I don't think I've faired as well as you!" We chatted for a while.

She hugged me hard, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said: "It's been so good to see you again! Take care!" and left the shop, with the old man.

"Bloody hell, Matt!" chortled the female shop manager. "What the hell was THAT all about? If looks could kill, you'd be dead! That man was giving you such filthy looks!"

I explained about what I knew about the situation, and surmised that was her husband, the man she had dumped me for. She shook her head, saying: "Christ! That obviously didn't work out for her, then!"

Fast forward to my mother's revelations of this evening. I said: "When you spoke to xxxx when you met her, did you happen to mention to her what my job was and where I worked?" She acknowledged that she probably had. (My mom's really proud of my job, so tends to raise the subject whenever she can. Esp. to a penitent former girl friend!)

So now I know that the visit to the shop was not a coincidence, that xxxx had decided to come to visit me. Was she seeking closure? Wanted to see me for one last time?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

omg. lol. You are the young buck that she let get away!

But honestly, does it matter? She's married to old man now.


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

Wow crazy story MattMatt
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

that_girl said:


> omg. lol. You are the young buck that she let get away!
> 
> But honestly, does it matter? She's married to old man now.


Yes. Because it crushed me. I realised that she had been cheating on me, seeing that OM when she was seeing me.

Did I feel some pleasure in seeing that things hadn't worked out for her like she'd hoped? To my shame, yes, I did.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oooh I didn't get that part. That story was....wild. 

Well, to her, you were probably just the boy toy. Maybe she was cheating on that guy with you. Sad to say. But...she is the miserable one now. Is her husband rich? Was it a social no-no for her to be with you?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

CantSitStill said:


> Wow crazy story MattMatt
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yes. It was.

And I said something to my mother I had never even told myself. "I'd have married xxxx mom."

"Yes," she said. "But knowing you, you'd have taken it slowly and sensibly. And not rushed in to it."

Except when I met my wife and fell in love with her the instant I saw her!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Oooh I didn't get that part. That story was....wild.
> 
> Well, to her, you were probably just the boy toy. Maybe she was cheating on that guy with you. Sad to say. But...she is the miserable one now. Is her husband rich? Was it a social no-no for her to be with you?


Well, she was 20 years older than me, so perhaps.

My mother had a theory. Apparently her husband had cheated on her and she felt a desire to show her husband she was over him by getting remarried as quickly as possible. 

Her husband is comfortably off, but not rich. 

You know something? If I'd have asked her first, she'd have probably accepted my proposal.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

MattMatt said:


> Time had not been kind to her, she'd aged badly


Matt, If I was you I would have done the "Thank GOD that wasn't me" dance.

Just imagine, that would have been you trailing behind her looking worn out out and old too.

You probably had that what if (still tucked away in the way, way deep, deep parts of your brain) you had married her instead what life would be like.

Well, now you probably know. BTW, quite a few years older and 20 years older than you is a huge difference. When you 1st stated she was a few years older i was thinking 3-5 years older, NOT 20 lol.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

cheatinghubby said:


> Matt, If I was you I would have done the "Thank GOD that wasn't me" dance.
> 
> Just imagine, that would have been you trailing behind her looking worn out out and old too.
> 
> ...


Yes, I did that happy dance, to be honest.

However, the oldest gap between myself and a girl friend was 30 years. My wife, however, is 6 years younger than me.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Did you consider that perhaps she was cheating on this other guy with you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

everyone is so right..too old for you and I was thinking the same thing..she was cheating on him with you maybe
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Did you consider that perhaps she was cheating on this other guy with you?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well, yes, that's possible.

But I got the feeling that she met him after she met me, though can't recall why I thought this.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

MattMatt said:


> Well, yes, that's possible.
> 
> But I got the feeling that she met him after she met me, though can't recall why I thought this.


Gonna be a little crass here, don't know and don't care but at least you got to tag her when she was still decent looking.

No matter how much my heart was broken, I always looked at it that way. At least I got a piece of the pie before getting kicked in the gut. And you know what, most of the time I wasn't sad anymore .

When i used to see an old flame with her new man (back in the days) some would smirk at me but it was no biggie, I got to tag you before him so who won out in the end.

Although the 1st 2 girlfriends I cried like a little B when they dumped me. OH, to be young, stupid and running on nothing but hormones.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

cheatinghubby said:


> Gonna be a little crass here, don't know and don't care but at least you got to tag her when she was still decent looking.
> 
> No matter how much my heart was broken, I always looked at it that way. At least I got a piece of the pie before getting kicked in the gut. And you know what, most of the time I wasn't sad anymore .
> 
> ...


:rofl: Sorry, you had me rolling with this post


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

cheatinghubby said:


> Gonna be a little crass here, don't know and don't care but at least you got to tag her when she was still decent looking.
> 
> No matter how much my heart was broken, I always looked at it that way. At least I got a piece of the pie before getting kicked in the gut. And you know what, most of the time I wasn't sad anymore .
> 
> ...


Never got to have sex with her. I was taking it very slowly. And being a gentleman. (Which clearly did me no good at all!)

Some time after that, my life became a maelstrom of utterly weird stuff and my moral compass got demagnetised in some pretty major ways...


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> Never got to have sex with her. I was taking it very slowly. And being a gentleman.


Again Matt, you're a sucker... Grab them cookies and run


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

costa200 said:


> Again Matt, you're a sucker... Grab them cookies and run


Oh, I did. Lot of cookies, lot of running. 

But just think, she could have had my virginity!


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Oh, I did. Lot of cookies, lot of running.
> 
> But just think, she could have had my virginity!


So you got to sold it on ebay? How much did you got?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

costa200 said:


> So you got to sold it on ebay? How much did you got?


This was pre ebay, so I sold it in the Exchange & Mart magazine! Got a good price, mind!:smthumbup:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

costa200 said:


> Again Matt, you're a sucker... Grab them cookies and run


lol Right? Take care of things in the bedroom!

How old were you when you were seeing her?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

that_girl said:


> lol Right? Take care of things in the bedroom!
> 
> How old were you when you were seeing her?


Early 20s. She was in her early 40s.

She was physically exactly the type of woman I like. Dark hair, quite plump.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

JB100 said:


> MattMatt,
> 
> Would you consider it cheating if she just dumped you and then moved on to this next guy? Like even if she met him while you guys were going out, I do not think it is cheating unless she had sex with him. Perhaps the emotional affair line is blurry.
> 
> Also, you never answered how long your current wife's affair with her old boyfriend lasted for? (Unless you do not want to state.)


It lasted about a month or two, I think. But EA? Perhaps longer.

As for my girl friend who got married? Well, 'cheating' or not, it still broke my heart.


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