# Sons girlfriend cheating ??



## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

*Has any other moms ever knew about their kids being cheated on ??*

But didn't wanna interfere?? Im asking for a reason.....


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Is this the right forum to post this or the infidelity forum?


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

*Re: Has any other moms ever knew about their kids being cheated on ??*

Thinking either forum might be ok at this point.

If I knew with certainty my child was being cheated on (currently), I would interfere (once). Rather be on that side of the issue than the other.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Theyve been together for 2 years. Im not sure to say something or ni. Theyre all young. 18 and 19.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

You want commiseration or help?

Given everything you have shared so far the only available option is commiseration.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Please, not two threads on same subject.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

How do you know she's cheating?


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Ok.

My sons friend that he grew up with from childhood comes to Sacramento from Nevada by bus every now and then to visit him.

For 10 days up to 2 weeks where me and my son and my younger daughter 16 lives he would stay in the den.
They visit each other back and forth by bus.

My sons girlfriend Bianca is 19 and comes by to visit my son sometimes while I be out our whatever.


Anyway I came home early from work one day due to slow patient calls.

I went inside and there was no tv on blinds etc.

Went upstairs started towards my sons room nothing. Then went into the den and ****.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> Ok.
> 
> My sons friend that he grew up with from childhood comes to Sacramento from Nevada by bus every now and then to visit him.
> 
> ...


So what are you waiting for.Tell your son about his skanky girlfriend and his toxic friend.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

My mouth dropped now I am stuck in between a rock they begged me not to tell Andy (my son) what was going on the past 3 months, 3 MONTHS this been going on his girl friend begged me to the point where she had tears, telling me not to tell my son. 


I just froze honestly told the girl and his buddy to leave.


Anyway he went back home 4 days later and I havent brought it up since


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> My mouth dropped now I am stuck in between a rock they begged me not to tell Andy (my son) what was going on the past 3 months, 3 MONTHS this been going on his girl friend begged me to the point where she had tears, telling me not to tell my son.
> 
> 
> I just froze honestly told the girl and his buddy to leave.
> ...


My name is Andy too.
If my Mom had found a girlfriend of mine cheating on me she would have told me straight away.
After she kicked her ass.
When your son finds out about this,and he will, he will never trust you again as long as he lives.
TELL HIM NOW!


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Your loyalty should be to your son, who is the innocent party here.
Do the right and moral thing. NOW.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Oh Lord is not that I don't want to. Aww I wish I had another man here. Its just me and the two


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> Oh Lord is not that I don't want to. Aww I wish I had another man here. Its just me and the two


I don’t understand your premise here.
Why exactly are you lying by omission to your son and protecting his cheating girlfriend and best friend?
Do you think you are helping him?
Do you think Mommy knows best?
He is not a child and stop treating him like one.
I’m not trying to be harsh but if you are trying to ensure your son never trusts you again you are going the right way about it.
Imagine this scenario,your son gets Aids from his cheating girlfriend,will you be still lying to him?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*You owe your son a mother's loyalty in communicating exactly what you witnessed to him!

The decision to stay with her or to split the sheets is his to make, and not yours!

Please do this as expeditiously as possible!*


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

So right now your son has three people in his life who he can't trust, his cheating girlfriend, his scum bag buddy and you, his mom. The poor kid needs someone to trust, someone who has his best interest at heart. Tell him now.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Beccagirl And when your son tearfully comes to you and tells you his one true love has given him gonoreea, or syphilis (or worse) you are going to smite your forehead :slap: and say: "Oh, honey! There's something I meant to tell you!"


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Ok ok ok I think everyones git the wrong idea. Im NOT deliberately planning to be an affair enabler. This JUST happened I wanted to know the best way to approach him. Hell flip. Hes " emotional "in a boys kind of way if u know what I mean. so I wanna do it as easy as possible. Sorry for the misunderstanding Its been 3 days since.

Ok maybe Ill be blunt then. Geez


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Beccagirl said:


> Ok ok ok I think everyones git the wrong idea. Im NOT deliberately planning to be an affair enabler. This JUST happened I wanted to know the best way to approach him. Hell flip. Hes " emotional "in a boys kind of way if u know what I mean. so I wanna do it as easy as possible. Sorry for the misunderstanding Its been 3 days since.
> 
> Ok maybe Ill be blunt then. Geez


No, we got the right idea. You aren't an enabler. But you are in shock, you like her, you like his friend and you know if, _when_, you tell your boy, it will break his heart.

But it's better from you and it's better sooner than later.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> Ok ok ok I think everyones git the wrong idea. Im NOT deliberately planning to be an affair enabler. This JUST happened I wanted to know the best way to approach him. Hell flip. Hes " emotional "in a boys kind of way if u know what I mean. so I wanna do it as easy as possible. Sorry for the misunderstanding Its been 3 days since.
> 
> Ok maybe Ill be blunt then. Geez


If someone tells me something “just” happened I assume they mean in the last couple of hours (or minutes)
Not three days ago.
Sit your son down and just spell it out to him.No bs,just tell him what happened.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Andy1001 thank you. You guys are 👍


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

The longer you wait, the worse it will be for your relationship with your son. 

3 days is way too long already.


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

I don’t know why you need direction on this you’re his mother the first thing you should’ve done was kick them the **** out, without hesitation. Then told your son that is what a mom does. She has her son’s back no matter what. Then you should’ve told them don’t ever come around here you’re not welcome. Why do you need direction on this because you’re afraid of your son. If he gets too out-of-control than throw him out too. But your loyalty should’ve been with your son.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Simple....

Tell his girlfriend to tell him.....or you will.
Tell his buddy to tell him also.

The GF will try to minimize the damage, tell him half truths.
I bet his buddy will throw his wayward GF under the bus....

Both your son and his GF are to young to get married.

This is NOT a big thing.

Unfortunately he will lose two friends.
Actually, not friends.

He will soon find out that VJ's often bond better than bro's. 

Later, tell him what you saw. 

Tell him his former buddy did him a favor. 
His soon to be former GF is not relationship material. 
Too young, too flaky, not ready for prime time. 

This is common at that age..


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Simple....
> 
> Tell his girlfriend to tell him.....or you will.
> Tell his buddy to tell him also.
> ...


Why do you have to complicate things.
Just let her tell the boy what his girlfriend and best friend are up to.
This thread has got me thinking what my own Mom would have done in similar circumstances.
I would have been visiting her in prison lol.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Andy1001 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> Andy1001 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅


I can’t decipher this,wtf are you trying to tell me.
I can speculate it’s not complimentary lol.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Unicode Hex Character Code 😅. 😅. Symbol Name: Smiling Face With Open Mouth And Cold Sweat.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Beccagirl said:


> Andy1001 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅


You will have to translate that into English please. It doesn't seem to have worked out. A browser error, perhaps?


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

If your son finds out you have known for even an hour and did not tell him, you will find you have lost your son for at least ten years. A mother always protects her children. 

Take him in your arms and tell him. Allow him to cry if he wants to, then let him deal with the cheating girl himself. You cannot keep that information a minute longer. if you are at work, ask to go home and tell him. This is a very simple test of loyalty and you run the risk of failing it. Please do not fail it.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

It was about the scenario if your mom found out


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

I was in shock just like someone on here said. But now I know what to do. Being a single parent sucks SOMETIMES.
I can only imagine if his Dad caught them.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

*Re: Has any other moms ever knew about their kids being cheated on ??*

Tell your son, you are suppose to protect him. My father knew my ex was talking to another women but he didn’t tell me. He ( my father) could have saved me a lot of heartache if he had opened his damn mouth. I am more pissed that he didn’t say anything to me!!!! See..... open your mouth and protect your son.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> Ok ok ok I think everyones git the wrong idea. Im NOT deliberately planning to be an affair enabler. This JUST happened I wanted to know the best way to approach him. Hell flip. Hes " emotional "in a boys kind of way if u know what I mean. so I wanna do it as easy as possible. Sorry for the misunderstanding Its been 3 days since.
> 
> Ok maybe Ill be blunt then. Geez


Nope you will just be a passive affair enabler. Protect your son. It's kind of your job. I can't believe you have sat on this 3 days!


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Im telling him


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

#Tamara why didnt your dad tell you??
Do you talk to him now??


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Don't blame being a single parent for your lack of action. I can't understand your reluctance. What do you really fear?

If they have been cheating for three months and boyfriend stayed several more days, you must have had some discussion to know these facts.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> I was in shock just like someone on here said. But now I know what to do. Being a single parent sucks SOMETIMES.
> I can only imagine if his Dad caught them.


OK,you have been given a hard time in the last couple of hours but you seem to have gotten the point.
Family comes first and as a parent your first duty is to your children.
When this stupid girl and equally stupid boy are forgotten your son will still be your son and he will always remember you were there for him.Your only concern should be his wellbeing and to hell with everyone else.
My favorite memory of my Mom is when she took my side when it seemed everyone else was against me.
Nobody messed with my Mom.
I really miss her.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> Im telling him


Does she know that you saw? If she does I hope you get there before she has a chance to muddy the waters. Don't trust in the honor of people who do this ****. They have none.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Ill tell him everyone OK. I always was going to.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> Beccagirl said:
> 
> 
> > I was in shock just like someone on here said. But now I know what to do. Being a single parent sucks SOMETIMES.
> ...


I went to visit my dad at hus appt one day and he was dead on the couch. THAT hurt like hell.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> I went to visit my dad at hus appt one day and he was dead on the couch. THAT hurt like hell.


I’m very sorry for what happened to you in that situation,finding your dad like that must have been devastating.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

I just sent my son a text letting him to" Got something to talk to you about ok ?? "Come home when your off "


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> Beccagirl said:
> 
> 
> > I went to visit my dad at hus appt one day and he was dead on the couch. THAT hurt like hell.
> ...


Whoooo **** it was


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

You seem to imply that you need a man about the house to handle this ?!? 

You neef to be a strong woman! I agree with Andy - my mother, my wife, my sisters, and my daughters are fierce! I would only be needed to stop them from going to jail if this happened to any of them!

Tell him now and make sure they know enough to stay well away from you and yours!


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

manfromlamancha said:


> You seem to imply that you need a man about the house to handle this ?!?
> 
> You neef to be a strong woman! I agree with Andy - my mother, my wife, my sisters, and my daughters are fierce! I would only be needed to stop them from going to jail if this happened to any of them!
> 
> Tell him now and make sure they know enough to stay well away from you and yours!


I sent him that message. I am a small woman. 4 ft 10. I could use a nice 6 ft 1 man to settle two teen boys lol


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

As a general rule I think parents ought to butt out of their kids' relationships, but given that you saw this in your house I think it's different. And you are well in line to tell someone who used your house for a hot sheet motel they can't stay there any more.


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## AttaBoy (Sep 30, 2018)

It is incomprehensible to me that you Beccagirl put a pair of ?? in your title. You walked in on them, you saw it with your own eyes! There is no ??! in that!!!
It is incomprehensible that you Beccagirl have suppressed this information for 3 days. Like another poster mentioned, two betrayals now becomes three. Imagine your son getting sloppy seconds on his own girlfriend because you didn't have the guts to step in front of that train for your son. Imagine if he performed orally on his girlfriend that same day! You denied him his opportunity at a dignified response. Incomprehensible, to me.


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## musiclover (Apr 26, 2017)

Why you are even questioning this is beyond me. This is your son; you don't need a man in your life to tell him. Come on. I would have kicked her [email protected]@ right out the damn door and told my son immediately.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Who else has your sons back? Would you want to know if you were in his shoes?


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Beccagirl said:


> I was in shock just like someone on here said. But now I know what to do. Being a single parent sucks SOMETIMES.
> I can only imagine if his Dad caught them.


If his day had caught them and he was any kind of a man, he would have boxed his "friends" ears and thrown both of them out of the house. 

I get that you were in shock, but you know what you have to do. 

You son needs to lose the GF and the so called friend. 

You understand why he has to do that, right...


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

Beccagirl said:


> I sent him that message. I am a small woman. 4 ft 10. I could use a nice 6 ft 1 man to settle two teen boys lol


A 4 foot 10 inch women with a broom beating their naked butts out of the house screaming at the top of her lungs is much more effective. With 911 ready to dial. 

Seriously.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> I sent him that message. I am a small woman. 4 ft 10. I could use a nice 6 ft 1 man to settle two teen boys lol


Is this really your issue or is it that it's had to be the bearer or this horrible news? I mean you love your son and you know it's going to hurt him, but remember it's not YOU who are hurting him. Also it's better he learns this lesson at a young age and not when he is 10 years married with 2 kids. This is the kind of thing that happens to most of us and it teaches us that some people are just fake.

Be strong tell your son, prepare yourself that he might not take it well at first. Act out of love and be patient with him.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

#Sokillme yes


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> #Sokillme yes


Sucks. But you have to do it. You would do it if it was your friend right? Think of it this way, eventually he is going to find out anyway, better sooner the later. When your son was little if you saw something hurting him what would you have done? This is really the same thing, tap into that maternal instinct. This girl is hurting him. 

What happened when you saw did they not see you? Were was this again? Does she live there?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Better he learns what she is like now, rather than 10 years down the line, with a couple of kids between them.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Beccagirl said:


> I sent him that message. I am a small woman. 4 ft 10. I could use a nice 6 ft 1 man to settle two teen boys lol


We live in civilization, your rights don't depend on your stature. He stays off your property or he answers to the police.


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## user_zero (Aug 30, 2013)

*Re: Has any other moms ever knew about their kids being cheated on ??*



Beccagirl said:


> But didn't wanna interfere?? Im asking for a reason.....


some people thing that by not doing anything they can exempt themselves of responsibility of whatever comes next. they usually are conflict-avoidant personalty type. as someone who has been dealing with this problem in my entire life (I'm the middle child of family , the peacekeeper) let me tell you it always bite you in the ass. everybody gonna feel hurt especially the person that you were trying to avoid hurting them. whether you remain silent or not , your son is gonna feel hurt.

I remember reading stories about someone who found out his wife was cheating on him since before marriage and he goes to his family for support and realizes they knew all along. you have no idea how painful it is to find out that your own parents that supposed to have your back, betray you like that. because let me be honest that is betrayal no matter what his parents reasons were. 

my advice is to create an opportunity for you and your son to be alone in the house and tell him the truth of what happened. be honest about everything and make sure he understands why you were hesitant about telling him the truth. tell him that whatever he decides you got his back.

it's gonna be very painful experience but if you do this right, it can bring your son and you closer and he's gonna have more respect for you in the long run.

I wish you good luck.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Tomara said:


> Tell your son, you are suppose to protect him. My father knew my ex was talking to another women but he didn’t tell me. He ( my father) could have saved me a lot of heartache if he had opened his damn mouth. I am more pissed that he didn’t say anything to me!!!! See..... open your mouth and protect your son.
> 
> Why didn't he tell you ??
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

sokillme said:


> Beccagirl said:
> 
> 
> > #Sokillme yes
> ...


This was at my house. Yes they begged me not to tell "please I still love him blah blah " buddy kinda just froze. 

I started not to tell ONLY because like I said earlier I got timid an was stunned.

It was like seeing death


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

user_zero said:


> Beccagirl said:
> 
> 
> > But didn't wanna interfere?? Im asking for a reason.....
> ...


Where was this story and WHY didn't they say anything ???


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## Oldtimer (May 25, 2018)

Don’t underestimate yourself, I recall some tiny moms when I was growing up who packed a very firm resolve. Many rowdy neighbourhood boys would cringe at the moms commands when confronted. 

I’m sorry that you had to deal with the issue of your fathers passing. I completely understand how you may have felt as I’ve witnessed many such scenes from my perspective. I don’t know how long ago that was, but if you haven’t dealt with it, please see someone to speak to about it.

Regarding the girlfriend being caught with his friend, someone already said, they are something like passing ships in the night, but your son is with you forever. I’m glad you are telling him. 

Praying for strength for you and son.

OT


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Beccagirl said:


> #Tamara why didnt your dad tell you??
> Do you talk to him now??




He said it wasn’t his place, the hell it wasn’t. He didn’t realize how much pain I was in, you know that wonderful gut feeling something was terribly wrong but you can’t put your finger on it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Beccagirl said:


> Yes they begged me not to tell "please I still love him blah blah "



She does NOT love him. She has no idea what LOVE is.

Please save your son from this nasty little person. Do not allow him to waste any more of his time on her. Rip off the band-aid.


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## user_zero (Aug 30, 2013)

Beccagirl said:


> Where was this story and WHY didn't they say anything ???


unfortunately I don't remember where I've read it. maybe it was on survivinginfidelity website.
and from what I remember He didn't specify why they didn't tell him. 
Why does it matter? people find different excuses for their wrong choices. it could be because they didn't wanna deal with (conflict avoid-er). or it is because they've done similar things (cheating) in their lives and they swept it under rug. so if they say anything about this incident the they have confront their own past actions which they don't want to.
whatever their reasoning is, it's selfish, shortsighted and destructive.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Tomara said:


> Beccagirl said:
> 
> 
> > #Tamara why didnt your dad tell you??
> ...


Still talk to him??


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> This was at my house. Yes they begged me not to tell "please I still love him blah blah " buddy kinda just froze.
> 
> I started not to tell ONLY because like I said earlier I got timid an was stunned.
> 
> It was like seeing death


With all do respect, **** that girl! At the end of the day she will be long forgotten, your son is young and she is an *******. Doing that in your house?! Do you want this women to be your husband's wife? Would you want to be married to someone like that?

She is lucky you are a different kind of women, some women would have blown her world up right there.

Do you know the guy she was with?

Seriously get your son away from these *******s.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Don't ever put non-family -- no matter how much they cry and plead -- over your son.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

TS, I am going on a hunch here, so if this doesn't sound like you go ahead and ignore this.

If you are trying to fit in w/ your son's friends and/or seeking their approval, you are in a lose/lose arrangement. They will take advantage of you and you won't get any real respect in return, and your son won't have the mother he deserves. Maybe that is lose/lose/lose.


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Beccagirl said:


> Still talk to him??




Do I still talk to him, yes. He is what he is. There are other thinks much worse that I told him and he shunned me for opening my mouth and telling. I have a weird relationship with him. I love him but I don’t always have to like him.

The op should tell he son even if it hurts him.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

sokillme said:


> Beccagirl said:
> 
> 
> > This was at my house. Yes they begged me not to tell "please I still love him blah blah " buddy kinda just froze.
> ...


Sons "adopted" friend


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

@Beccagirl Think about it. Would she want your son to have a trusting relationship with the one person who knows how deceptive she is?

If you dont tell your son it would be an extremely rare individual who doesn't start driving a wedge between you and your son.

She is going to start now. 5 years for now your son won't have anything to do with you because she will need power to keep her cheating under wraps, or to discredit the only one who could tell.


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## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

Beccagirl:

How would you feel if your mother saw your partner cheating and said nothing to you about it?

Being a parent is always about making tough decisions. You must tell your son about your struggle, but you must tell him that you have to be the bearer of bad news.

Tell him you love him and that is why you have to tell him this bad news. Then tell him what happened.

As for your size, this is what I always tell my small football players, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog!"


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

I have 3 sons, 2 are over 18. I would of gone thru the roof.

If I caught my son's "gf" and his "friend" having sex in my house the neighbors would of heard me cussing and screaming. I would of told both of them in explicit terms that neither of them are allowed in my home again and that my son is never seeing her again so don't bother calling him or coming back. 

I would of been throwing all of their stuff out of my house ASAP.

I would of been on the phone immediately with whichever of my other kids are not at work, if hubby is not at work, he would probably be at home and I would be calling him to tell him to come help me, etc.

But make no mistake I would not of needed anyone to "help".

And yes my son would of been one of the first calls. 

Probably would of asked him to come home first so he is not driving pissed off. 

No your son does not need "hugs".

Yes listen if he wants to talk and be understanding, but this is not the time for hugs. This is the time for a good family verbal a$$ kicking.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

@Beccagirl what's your background, ever been cheated on, cheat on anyone?


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

The longer you wait, the more damage you will do. You should have told him immediately, now you will get the "why didn't you tell me when it happened" angry statement. When this stretches to why did you wait 'a week, a month, a year, didn't you tell me at all' it gets incrementally worse. If you have any thought of not telling him, it's a bad idea. When he finds out his GF is a cheat (and he will eventually) and dumps her, she will throw "Well, your mother knew and didn't tell you" right in his face just to hurt him. And you think you owe her keeping her secret? Geeez.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> Sons "adopted" friend


What a snake. **** him too.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

sokillme said:


> @Beccagirl what's your background, ever been cheated on, cheat on anyone?



Never cheated.
Never been cheated on ( AFAIK)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Becca,

You have to tell your son. It's your job as his mother to protect him even now that he's grown up.

Love your son enough to tell him the truth and to keep him from wasting his life with a woman who will rip out his heart.

I do like the idea of giving her something like 48 hours to tell him with the threat that if she does not tell him, you will.

If she and your son's "friend" are having an affair there are probably a lot of texts and emails between them. If your son needs proof that there is something inappropriate going on he can ask to see her phone and her phone bill. 

I know it's hard to be the messenger who breaks your son's heart, but he will heal from this. He will heal a lot faster if he knows now that she does not truly love him than he would if they are together for a lot longer before he finds out.

Be a good mom. Love your son more than you love anyone or anything else.


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## dreamer2017 (Nov 7, 2017)

Excellent post EleGirl!!!! I concur!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Beccagirl



> We must do what we conceive to be right and not bother our heads or burden our souls with whether we'll be successful. Because if we don't do the right thing, we'll do the wrong thing, and we'll be part of the disease and not part of the cure.
> 
> —E. F. Schumacher


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Thanks everyone for the MUCH needed help. This forum is GREAT. My son has been informed. Now we wait.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Good you should also inform him she's not worth another minute of his time or trouble.

Dating is a tryout she failed so you move on.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Beccagirl said:


> Thanks everyone for the MUCH needed help. This forum is GREAT. My son has been informed. Now we wait.


 How did he take it?


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Beccagirl said:
> 
> 
> > Thanks everyone for the MUCH needed help. This forum is GREAT. My son has been informed. Now we wait.
> ...



Not good. His ex buddy lives in another state. No outlet


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Beccagirl said:


> Not good. His ex buddy lives in another state. No outlet


It's probably better that his ex-buddy lives in another state. That way your son cannot make the mistake of going after the guy.

Has he confronted his girlfriend?


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> Beccagirl said:
> 
> 
> > Not good. His ex buddy lives in another state. No outlet
> ...


Yes.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Hopefully she's now his EX-girlfriend.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

It's a good time for some parental guidance.

Her actions are full of disrespect, deceit, etc.

This is who she is and his backstabbing friend.

This is the time you step up and tell him like it is. 

His friend is a snake and so is his girlfriend.

You're his mom. Tell him exactly how it is. He's young and needs to see this like it is.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

syhoybenden said:


> Hopefully she's now his EX-girlfriend.



Yes Definetley


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Marc878 said:


> It's a good time for some parental guidance.
> 
> Her actions are full of disrespect, deceit, etc.
> 
> ...


We talked this morning he angry *****ed out his ex. He'll need some time


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Yep, it's actually good he's angry. Who wouldn't be.

Never look back on either one of them. They aren't worth it.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

I hope he can return whatever he got her for Christmas. He needs to stay away from her for good. Screwing your buddy in your own house while he's staying with you is something you should never get over, even if you think you can.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Rubix Cubed said:


> I hope he can return whatever he got her for Christmas. He needs to stay away from her for good. Screwing your buddy in your own house while he's staying with you is something you should never get over, even if you think you can.


He should get a couple of old sheets and a pillow and set them on fire and video it.
Then put the video on Facebook while tagging his ex girlfriend and ex best friend.
Now that I think of it if he could get an old bed it would be even better.
I’m really feeling the Christmas spirit today lol.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Merry christmas


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

Good job mom.! That must have release a lot of Stress. Be very supportive to him now. He’s going to need it. Merry Christmas


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

Merry christmas


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

The very great Christmas gift that you and your son received is that he did not marry the little skank and have kids with her before finding out who (what) she really was.

So, Merry Christmas indeed!!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Moderator message:-*

OK, folks. Be careful. No troll calling/shaming, please.


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## Beccagirl (Dec 23, 2018)

SunCMars said:


> Beccagirl said:
> 
> 
> > Merry christmas
> ...


My new years will be bloody happy.

And yes my sons doing better


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

It's good that you told. Most people that age don't end up together anyway, they're still changing and learning and what they want at 18 will be miles away from what they want at 25.

When my DD28 was young, I taught her that high school was for dating for fun cos you can't expect to still want the same things as an adult, that college years were for trying on people with different personalities to see which kind gelled with you, but still not to get serious cos who knows where each of you will end up - you could get careers that take you halfway across the world. That after college (or in the 22+ age range if they're not going to college), that's when you want to start looking for someone with your same interests and goals - but until then, just don't get too attached. Just have fun and don't let anything get too serious. Maybe hearing something like that will help him move on.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Moderator Message:*

This troll account has now been banned.


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