# long distance military marriage



## cyborg (Oct 31, 2010)

I am in a long distance military marriage in which i see me wife about once every three months. She has a "BEST FRIEND" who is a guy off of one of the submarines at her base, and he has shown to me he doesnt have much respect for me. I want to tell her to break off the friendship, but i am afraid she will choose him over me. Also she likes to hang out with him and who she tells me is his new girlfriend, but when she does she does things im not totally comfortable with. I don't know if the distance is making me insecure or if i am right to feel wronged by her "BEST FRIEND" disrespecting me. The way he disrespected me was by starting with a joke that most guys would joke about, but i dont know him so i didnt know how to react, and therefore i asked him to back off, he called me a woose and i told him again to back off, and he proceeded to say i must get bullyed a lot. I would appreciate any advice.


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Go to his commander and state your case. The UCMJ does not take kindly to adulterous men in uniform. Then tell your wife to break it off with him, and if you're afraid she will "choose him", you seriously have to ask yourself what kind of woman you married.


----------



## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

I would never be in a relationship that made my husband uncomfortable or worry. For the most part before him I had male friends, get along with males better. But after getting married I didn't think it appropriate to have close friendships with men so I learned to get along with women. I have met many wonderful women because of this.

You need to be able to speak with your wife without fear of her running off. If she is gonna do that crap like F-102 said she is not a good match.

My husband is Military also so I am speaking from experience from a wife's end. We don't respect women like her either!


----------



## Beverley (Oct 26, 2010)

Long distance relationships can be so difficult I know - I have been in one for 4 years now, and have recently got married.

My husband is in the forces and has work colleagues and friends both male and female and sometimes it's very hard to maintain the trust between you both. However, without this, your relationship is doomed. It seems to me that you most definitely got off on the wrong foot with her friend and everything since then has been all about confrontation. Perhaps you need to make the effort to start over and see if you can reach some kind of common ground.

Maybe I'm being a bit naive, but I know how difficult it is when your partner is away for months at a time. If you love your wife and want to make your marriage work, then perhaps talking rather than accusing might help.


----------



## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

a couple of months ago, there was this single woman who would sometimes call my boyfriend, openly flirt with him. It really bothered me, and I was taking the wait and see approach. One day he told me she invited him out for drinks. I asked his permission if I could call her up and tell her to leave him alone and he said yes. I called her and without yelling, or threatening or anything like that, I just told her I was wondering if she was aware that he and me are together. She sounded embarrased and said 'okay..?' so I said "I dont want there to be any confusion about this....dont call his number again, for any reason. He told me you asked him out, and I dont want you to be confused. Dont ask him out again, ok?
she got quiet and said "there's no confusion"
she never called again
sometimes you have to be that blunt if someone is trying to come between you and your partner


----------



## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

You can't be blunt with a guy like "best friend". He is a scumbag and a bully, and you just can't talk sense to a bully. You could tell him that right now it's a personal problem, but if you want to turn it into a military one, we could do that. Talk to his CO!


----------

