# Is anyone here in a (mostly) HAPPY marriage?



## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

I understand TAM is a place to come to seek help, vent, etc. Lord knows I've moaned about my husband in a thread or two, BUT there doesn't seem to be many light or casual posts. The majority of them have a poster in serious distress and it's kind of scaring me to log on. 

Does anyone else feel like this? I guess I'm just terrified that I'm getting advice from the scorned wife, the abandoned stay at home mother or the man who lost everything to a gold digger.

Even the Lounge seems to have posts that are very serious in nature.

Anyway, is anyone here in a (mostly) happy marriage? If so, tell me something about it, .

As for me, for the most part, I'm pretty happy. My husband is pretty cool most of the time. Sometimes, I watch him and I genuinely feel lucky. He just seems so... Capable, . We have some big changes on the horizon that i'm very excited for, but for now we're just kind of coasting. Saving and coasting. So nothing too exciting or dramatic going on for us.

What about you?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Yup, me. We've been married 16 years and generally have a pretty solid marriage and a pretty good life. Three grown kids, one grandson and another grandbaby on the way   

I hang around because I am bored at work, otherwise I'd never post. The cheating is way in the past, so I do offer my own take on it when people are new to CWI and stuff. Hubby and I have problems but nothing post worthy for the most part!


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

I just came here to get advice when my Wife wanted a Divorce, didn't stop the Divorce but the information was accurate and I have received a lot of support.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm in a happy marriage. the second time for me. First time for him and we've been married 3 years, together for 7.

I came here due to a problem I identified while we were dating and knew, due to my failed marriage, that this could kill our relationship.

Now,I feel as if I am the Patron Saint Against Opposite Sex Friends while Married.

In general, there's a lot of wisdom here. That's why I stay.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Second marriage for us both, and we've been together for over 17 years now. This is the ideal relationship for us both. We both want the best for each other, and do whatever we can to make that possible. We're still deeply in love - and lust! - with each other, too. With many shared interests, and a high degree of compatibility, we get along extremely well (aside from the rare problem that we quickly resolve).


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

I am in a happy marriage. We had a rough time about 2 years ago but were able to resolve it before it became something major. We've been married 8 years and together for 10.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

We are in a really good second marriage, we both had long first marriages(23 and 25 years), and have been married for 12 years this year. We met and married within 9 months in our late 40's. I knew in less than a week that I wanted to marry him. 
I am passionate about marriage, which is why I come here, I love being married. We have 5 adult children between us, all in their 30's, and all great. 
We are very good together, so alike in some ways, and so different yet complimentary in others. He is a brilliant stepdad to my children(they have no contact with their own dad) and when we married he said they became his own children.

I feel very blessed to have met him.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

We're happy, in the first marriage for both. I found TAM before our 20th when I was reflecting on marriage, ours and in general, and wanting to know what other people's were like (I was naive).


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

We've had a few deep lows in our 21 years, but I am the happiest I have ever been. We married young and quick, and I was still in that infatuation phase. Now it is a more deeper love I have for him. I think you have to go through the **** to be able to truly know and love each other. We learn from our vulnerabilities. 

I can honestly say I know my husband inside out and back to front. I don't think there are any more surprises.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

First and happy marriage here. Just celebrated our 42nd. It's not all doom and gloom here on TAM.

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## WonkyNinja (Feb 28, 2013)

Second marriage for both of us, 4 years together - 2 married, and we are really happy. We both came from sexless marriages where poor communication was a big issue so we discuss anything as soon as it arises and cherish the intimacy we now have. When we have something to face I have a partner who stands beside me and doesn't try to blame me for the problem. For those who think you should stay in the marriage for the children I am giving my D a far better example of a good relationship than my XW and I ever did.

The toughest thing is trying not to lament the years we could have had if we had met earlier.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Yep (mostly)
Other than the all-too-common HD/LD mismatch (which we have learned to manage), this marriage has been, and remains completely golden. First and only for both. We'll hit 30 years next month. Periods of difficulty have been pretty short and neither ever considered bailing.

I plan to share more in the "Long term success in marriage" board as we get closer to that 30 year day.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

No, but I'm always on the lookout for the 3rd Mrs. Herschel.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

First marriage for both of us, 37 years married, 59 years old, career woman; no children by choice. Great marriage, many compromises throughout the years, best friends, great intimate partners, and respectful of each other. Visits TAM to place input to give perspective of situations where appropriate.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Herschel said:


> No, but I'm always on the lookout for the 3rd Mrs. Herschel.


My brother and I were the product of our dad's third, which lasted until my mom's passing some 47 years later. There is hope.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

After a series of stormy relationships (some very good, some bad, but always stormy) 
I am finally in a great marriage.

but it's only 4 years. I feel humbled and inferior to long term married couples.

if we can go on like we are for another 10 years, then I can feel like a success.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Very much so.

We're coming up on 17 years together, I've loved her since I was still a teenager, and we first met and became best friends when we were barely in high school. Going on 9 years of wedded happiness.

We don't just love each other, we're still _in_ love. We have a marriage that's very different from a lot of people around us; she doesn't wear the pants, she doesn't nag me_ at all_, and we never argue (because she is not an argumentative person AT ALL and this did take some getting use to). When we have an issue we discuss it, and that's been our way since before we ever got together. We've logged countless hours of deep, often painful, but never wasteful discussion about our relationship, and our own individual issues. We're still super sensitive to each other, so if we're off, we both feel like crap until things are resolved. 

We have a lot of independence, which is extraordinarily important to me. We have very separate lives, with totally different friend sets, and total freedom to come and go as we please. We don't ask permission; this is largely from my influence, but she's come to enjoy it. We also have separate bank accounts, and only within the last year decided to share a joint savings account. And yet we have 0 money issues in our marriage. We just leave each other a lot of breathing room.

Trust is a close second to love for us. We don't do "trust be verify". If the trust died, so would we.

My wife is the best. She is so deeply in love with me, sometimes as if it was still the beginning, which still blows me away sometimes. We'll be in our apartment, in different rooms, and she'll come in and say "I miss you". She loves sex, genuinely, not just as something to make me happy. She is a ray of sunlight, and always has been. Just a really very bright, sweet, loving human being. She's an introvert, and keeps a much smaller social circle than I do, but if she wasn't, she'd be the kind with a limitless pool of friends. 

We are not perfect (though I do think she's damn near). But we work well. And the best part is that I can see a 1000 places we can still go together. I'm looking forward to where we'll be tomorrow, how we'll fit together. 

I came to TAM taking the board title too literally. I thought this board was literally for people to talk about marriage, especially the wonderful parts. I was surprised to see that the majority of TAM is dedicated to talking about BAD marriages.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

I stopped by one day when my wife was having some health issues and on her way to a hysterectomy. We normally spend a lot of time every evening paying attention to each other, and that was stalled momentarily, and I was bored. I found this a fun place, and have posted a lot while she has been recovering. Her recovery has taken a bit longer than expected, but that's fine because she is doing great. 

We have been married 43 years. First marriage for both of us. We married young.

My wife has more problems than I could ever have imagined. She is bat-**** crazy, as the saying goes. Just before our 5th wedding anniversary, in 1978, Mary let a guy seduce her. Hey, we are liberals of the 60's, so it wasn't that big a deal to me. But things went from bad to worse because of her mental illness which hadn't been diagnosed at that time. For 18 months I put my wife through pure hell. She stayed with me, but I didn't know why. I stayed with her, but I couldn't have explained why.

Once she was diagnosed I decided I was going to cope with her illness instead of run from it. As all the other problems in her life bubbled up we have faced them one after the other. She's lived a troubled life. She has a lot of problems. She's mentally ill. We have second and third opinions, from really good shrinks. We cope. I am certain she loves me. I love her. 

Some of her illness is related to the fact my wife is bisexual, and in 1969 she was tortured in what was called Conversion Therapy. She was so crushed by that she didn't know her own sexuality until she went through 8 years of psychotherapy, and then she couldn't accept it for another 5 years. Even though I love her deeply I found it hard to accept her sexuality. I filed for divorce in 1997. But after just a month without her I realized I loved her a great deal more than I could ever possibly love any other woman.

I think the synergy we have managed to achieve over the last 20 years is stronger than anything I could have imagined. Mary has never wavered in her love for me, even during the worst of times.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Not married but very happy in my current relationship. We are happy with ourselves and with each other.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

I'm happily divorced, does that count?


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## deepsouth (Apr 28, 2017)

It's pretty hard to remain anonymous when you seem so much like a unicorn (nothing meant toward OP--I'm talking about myself) but it is refreshing to see that there are other good stories out there!

So... without giving too much away... We've been married 38+ years, firsts for both of us (we were just kids--18 and 20), dated for only 4 months before marriage. Now, seven+ kids later, faithful and still very much in love, we are intimate 4+ a week not too mention the other type of intimacy which is pretty much 24/7!

Yes, we've had the struggles that you'd expect but I don't think that there has been anything that has lasted more than a few days and when we did have those times it was pretty much always my fault.

She has always been a SAHM (her choice but I've reaped the benefits!).

We both came from broken homes so we decided early on that divorce wouldn't be a part of our vocabulary. We're 'all in' for the duration so the problems are dealt with rather quickly.

Anyway, probably more information than you wanted but the reflection was good for me!

I'd love to hear from a bunch of other successful marriages.


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## Remee81 (May 24, 2017)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I understand TAM is a place to come to seek help, vent, etc. Lord knows I've moaned about my husband in a thread or two, BUT there doesn't seem to be many light or casual posts. The majority of them have a poster in serious distress and it's kind of scaring me to log on.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




We r working on an issue, but other than that one thing, DH and I r head over heels for each other! He's the love of my life, I think he's sexy as hell, sweet, loving, respectful, calls me from work just to tell me he misses me and how beautiful I am. I can't wait for him to walk through the door after work. It makes me happy when he enjoys the dinner I cooked for him, so grins from ear to ear when I have fresh baked cookies cooling when he walks in. We aren't all disasters! Someone helping me on my thread seems happy in his marriage too!


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

Yes - I consider myself happily married - been together since we were teens - over 40 years. However, happily married does not mean we do not have our issues - and like others, I tend to post when struggling to deal with them every now and then. Both my husband and I are committed fully to each other and to our marriage. 

Its funny you posted this thread because I was thinking along the same lines when I was out walking this morning. I think if an alien came to earth and looked at marriage through the eyes of TAM they would come to the conclusion that marriage is a failed institution. It is not - its just that most people only write about their problems - not about what is working. Me included! 

What is working in our marriage? We get along well most of the time and enjoy spending a lot of time together. We do not fear retirement and being together a lot more - as we have a long shared bucket list to explore together. We have a lot of love, laughter, friendly banter, and interesting discussions together. Even though we have our downs too - we also seem to work through them and come out even closer than before. We have several children and many grandchildren that add to our joy and our happiness. 

I lucked out in choosing my husband! We married very young and no-one thought we would last. But we have and we will - because we are committed to do the work to make sure we both remain happy in our marriage. 

Thanks for posting this. It's good to concentrate on the positive instead of harping on the negative all the time!


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Odo and I are not new to marriage in general, but we've been married for 1.5 years and will have known each other for 3 this September. 

So, as marriages go it's still early days for us. We've both been through it once before, so we know what struggling marriages are like based on our individual experiences. 

I can say with great honesty that thus far, this marriage is what I had always hoped marriage would be. I have an intellectual equal who enjoys spending time with me. It doesn't matter what we do. It's all about the company. We have never ceased to hold hands, reach for each other, speak our minds, even if we are in the midst of disagreement. We can even disagree in such a way as to grow a greater appreciation for our differences, and still completely love the person behind them. We are deeply, profoundly passionate and expressive of our love. 

This is what I wanted in my first marriage. I didn't get it right the first time. It may still be early days, and we have been through some small crises but nothing fundamentally major... Yet. Time will tell.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

We have our struggles from time to time, but after 23 years, I can say yes we are mostly happy. 


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

I'm in a happy marriage. We've been a couple for 17 years, married 14 of those. I love my DH ridiculously and think we're scary perfect for each other.

I came here because I was researching something about a nontraditional relationship for a m to f trans friend, ended up at LS, read a thread that mentioned TAM, and decided to check the place out.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Yes, we are. I came here for our LD/HD which we continue to work on. First marriage for him, second for me. We absolutely love our time together, and are blessed to have the circumstances to be together nearly 24/7. It's rare that we don't get along, but when we do, it is resolved quickly, and has never carried over into the next day. Our feelings are very, very strong for each other, so when we are upset, it's highly emotionally charged. Overall we are very happy together and work amazing as a team. I feel we are fortunate to have found each other, and I am thankful for the wonderful man he is.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

I and my gal are doing awesome. 2nd for me (1st wife died in 2002) 1st marriage for my wife. Together 14 years now & married 11.

I came here looking for tools to manage the crazy thoughts from hitting 47; 50 now. (mid life crisis). Ultimately I choose to do the same thing I did when my wife died; do not blow up my life. I stick around for the knowledge and when I can toss my 2 cents into the pot.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

UnicornCupcake said:


> What about you?


I (45) have been in a happy fun 2nd marriage with my wife (46, her 1st marriage) for 18 years, our wedding anniversary was almost 3 weeks ago. We have also been in a sexual relationship together (from our 3rd date) for close to 21 years. Plus despite having seperate addresses till marriage, we started living together at hers after around six months of being together. We also have two children (a boy and a girl)who are are 16 and 13 that are for the most part well behaved, apparently happy and are so far academically successful. With our youngest being an accomplished musician who is talented in visual arts, who has also represented her schools in sport, at zone and regional level.

Through our almost 21 years together we have weathered lots of things, yet our enjoyment of each other has remained pretty constant.

Within our first six months of dating we both survived a multi-casualty incident where a car ran down three people including my now wife ,which missed hitting me by no greater than the length of a thumb. My wife required plastic surgery to repair her face. She wears a small scar on her face as a reminder, had injured knees and partial memory loss just before and after being hit. The other older couple (my parents age) suffered spinal injuries, broken limbs and brain damage.

I almost died in our second year of marriage and spent around six months in and out of hospital as a consequence of it. A few years after that my wife was injured at work, which saw her spend six months off work. With lots of physiotherapy after they repaired her leg with bits of metal, which still sets off airport metal detectors.

Throughout our marriage, we have also lived at 9 different addresses, most of which have been within 5-12km (3-7mi) of the CBD of a major metropolis. Although two of those addresses were in an isolated rural community (less than 2000 people) on the edge of the outback which for two weeks was even more isolated when our town was completely cut off by floodwaters.

Plus until we were married I would be away for 4-6 weeks each year with the Army Reserve in Infantry. Then after we were married for the first five years I was away for several weeks through months at a time when I was doing part-time (Reserve) and full-time (Regular) service in Intelligence.

Exempting around 3 years my wife has always earned more than me and by that she is and has been for the most part the primary breadwinner. After leaving the Army, I was a SAHP for around three years following my wife's last maternity leave. Yet I got sick of that and went back to work. We both work full time and have seldom ever had more than a 10-15 minute drive/train or walk to work while we have been together, so get to spend a fair amount of time with each other.

Funnily enough when we both met at work and my wife asked me out on a date, neither of us were looking for a long term relationship with each other and weren't looking for marriage either. It was just meant to be lots of sex and some fun for a few weeks through possibly a few months. Yet after almost 21 years together as always (except for illness injury and work separation), we're still sharing lots of sex and fun which is why we remain together.

I also like the fact that my wife is fun, witty, blunt, clever, successful, pragmatic, a former 2nd wave Feminist activist. Attractive, taller than me, sexy, very sexual, has very few sexual limits, is kinky, is happy to do my kinks and wants me but doesn't need me. Plus it helps that we are both atheists and are for the most part on the same page with respect to social and moral views, parenting and discipline. While we also give primacy to our relationship before our children.

We also still date, flirt constantly, grope explicitly, have lots of frequent non-vanilla sex. Plus play silly games like my wife will often flash me while we're out, or poses for sexual photos of the same while we're out as well. For a time up till last year my wife and I also posted on a fetish website where we posted/shared some of our extremely sexually explicit photos with our faces not shown as well.

As it turns out the Sex In Marriage sub-forum is what brought me to TAM in the first place, not because of any relationship or sexual problems, just I'm into sex stuff. Yet I liked some of the discussions that were being had on TAM, so have remained to participate as a consequence of those discussions.

In my experience a great marriage is very easy.

If a marriage requires considerable interpersonal struggle and sacrifice in order for it to be maintained, the participants of that marriage are probably married to the wrong partners.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

I'm happy with most aspects of my marriage, except about the sexless (twice this year) part. So the net sum is unhappy. Zero affection from my wife, we're just like good friends, room mates. Just waiting until my obligations as a father are done, then likely will be the end of it. Giving it that much time to improve. She knows it's an issue, but doesn't care because I put up with it...for now.


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

In our 26th year together. Not always easy, and came this][close to losing it. But pushed through it, 'rebooted', and started over.

And yes, this is now a happy marriage.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

manwithnoname said:


> I'm happy with most aspects of my marriage, except about the sexless (twice this year) part. So the net sum is unhappy. Zero affection from my wife, we're just like good friends, room mates. Just waiting until my obligations as a father are done, then likely will be the end of it. Giving it that much time to improve. She knows it's an issue, but doesn't care because I put up with it...for now.


I sympathize, but I personally don't see your obligation as a father coming to an end prematurely just because you choose to actively pursue something happier in your life. 

You will always be a father and you can fulfill any obligations in any respect. The "apart from your children" thing is hard, I get it. But kids prefer their parents to be happy, not miserable.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I expect most people in happy marriages are too busy enjoying each other to spend time posting to places like TAM.

I've been married roughly 30 years and basically everything is happy except our sex life. I love my wife as much as I did when we met so many years ago. We enjoy spending time together, doing things together.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Satya said:


> I sympathize, but I personally don't see your obligation as a father coming to an end prematurely just because you choose to actively pursue something happier in your life.
> 
> You will always be a father and you can fulfill any obligations in any respect. The "apart from your children" thing is hard, I get it. But kids prefer their parents to be happy, not miserable.


On the outside, everything appears good to everyone. Kids have no idea how conflicted and confused I am inside. I think about it every day. some days I can manage better, some not. Wife knows it's an issue, we've discussed it to some degree. I need to find out if she truly has no sex drive, or if just no attraction for me. This willmmake a difference as to how I will handle the problem.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

manwithnoname said:


> On the outside, everything appears good to everyone. Kids have no idea how conflicted and confused I am inside. I think about it every day. some days I can manage better, some not. Wife knows it's an issue, we've discussed it to some degree. I need to find out if she truly has no sex drive, or if just no attraction for me. This will make a difference as to how I will handle the problem.


Honestly, it makes no difference whether she doesn't want sex in general or doesn't want sex with you, in particular. The end result is the same. Either you decide to accept the lack of sex or not.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

MJJEAN said:


> Honestly, it makes no difference whether she doesn't want sex in general or doesn't want sex with you, in particular. The end result is the same. Either you decide to accept the lack of sex or not.


I think it makes a big difference. Either it's just me, to which I figure out what I need to improve, or she doesn't want sex in general, which is on her to fix.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

@manwithnoname if your wife wanted to have sex with you, she would be having sex with you.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

Personal said:


> @manwithnoname if your wife wanted to have sex with you, she would be having sex with you.


Thanks Captain Obvious. If she has no sex drive whatsoever, she won't have sex with me. If she has a sex drive, but no attraction to _me_, she won't have sex with me. I'm trying to figure out which it is. And again, it makes a difference to me.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Happy second marriage for me. Yes the grass is much greener


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Happily married 17 years as of a couple weeks ago. We have had our ups and downs, of course, but the good has far outweighed the bad. 

I came to TAM because of a specific problem, but have stayed so I can help others who may have the same/similar problem. I'm not here daily, however. And I did take a few months away at one point. 

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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

My wife and I have been happily married for 20 years. It is the second marriage for both of us, and we initially got involved in a way that has a very low success rate. You can find my story in the private section.


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## Akfranklin2014 (May 9, 2017)

I'm very happy in my marriage. We've been together almost 2.5 years and married for 8 months. This is my third marriage and his first. We have two kids, both his from previous relationships but they're just as much mine too. I came here for a specific problem that we're working on but it isn't one that's going to break our marriage.

I've been though two other marriages with a man who wouldn't work and then one who was abusive and couldn't hold a job. I always thought I was meant to be alone until I met this man. He's an amazing husband and father, has a steady job that he loves, and supports me in whatever I do. I work full time and go to school, pursuing my first of two masters degrees. I lost my job right before our wedding so we had to cut our budget drastically. We did and still had an amazing day in his parent's backyard with our friends and family. We have our moments and issues (including the drama from his kids mothers) but I've never been happier and wouldn't trade it for anything.


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## Big Tree (Jul 25, 2014)

Married 24 years. Our AS-NT relationship is complicated. Hard but worth it. Our pairing/partnership is so good that other couples often comment that we seem like the couple to emulate. Our kids (21 and 18) are off to a great start in their lives. We are doing good and feel very grateful.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am in a very satisfying marriage.. I've always loved being married.... I owe this to my husband... my reason for landing here was a sex drive increase (insatiable was an understatement).. he couldn't keep up (thank God for Vitamin V) ...his attitude during that, how he handled me.. I couldn't ask for more, but this has always been my husband....it was like a Mid Life Honeymoon for us....reviving the passion...

During that phase... I was seeking a "Sex forum"...I ran into some that were far too liberal showing **** photos, rampant with casual sex talk... when I found TAM... I felt more at home...then basically got "hooked" like many of us do....always enjoyed forums anyway...... one can't help but notice the serious nature, the helping, the articulate "well thought out" responses to many here sharing.. this place has been a wealth of learning, where no matter our background.. there is a place for you...

We fight on occasion (I have always felt this is healthy)... it's always very stupid things where we end up having make up sex shortly after.. I sometimes feel like I don't belong here.. as I haven't experienced many of the things people are facing in their marriages... I am one who holds a candle for Marriage, in a day & age where many never want it, feel it's just a piece of paper / an archaic social construct ....this saddens me for our society, for our families... 

On our 24th Anniversary.. I wrote out our story & shared it here... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-t...t-inspiration-he-who-taught-me-what-love.html


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

UnicornCupcake said:


> I understand TAM is a place to come to seek help, vent, etc. Lord knows I've moaned about my husband in a thread or two, BUT there doesn't seem to be many light or casual posts. The majority of them have a poster in serious distress and it's kind of scaring me to log on.
> 
> Does anyone else feel like this? I guess I'm just terrified that I'm getting advice from the scorned wife, the abandoned stay at home mother or the man who lost everything to a gold digger.
> 
> ...


Yes, mostly happy. Married for 46 years to my sexually inhibited college sweetheart. Before we married she make all kinds of sexual promises to me that she tried to keep, but could not change herself enough to actually do. We have two lovely adult children. We came close to divorce a few times mostly because we emotionally withdrew from each other. With major change on my part, a great sex therapist, and a lot of effort by both of us, we were able to save our marriage. We are friend, partners in so much, share so many values and dreams, and now are lovers twice a week.. 

As David Schnarch says, Marriage (if done correctly) is the hardest thing two people can do.

It really is. It is not easy. It takes work each and every week to make a marriage last.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

We have a happy marriage. We've been married 27 years and we are in love and still planning our futures together. We have had problems but fortunately we are both reflective and try to solve issues before they get too bad. There was a time when I couldn't have said we were in a happy marriage but the problem of communication was identified and though it took a couple of years we fell back in love.

I came to TAM because I fell for one of my wife's friends. My boundaries were too soft which helped place me in situations that set up an EA. But I knew I loved my wife and ended up on TAM learning about the dynamics of love, friendship and boundaries. I've been able to move on but I still read TAM though to help someone occasionally. I'm mostly a lurker now. 

There are many people with good marriages. Forums like TAM are really a skewed population that does not represent the true distributions. I'm glad that this thread has uncovered those that have good marriages. Best thread in a LONG time.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. We are blessed. We have two amazing kids and manage to stay in love after all these years. These past five years with our kids older, we have been on our second honeymoon. 

I am blessed because I have a h who is kind, gentle, caring and generous. I always say we are happy because of my H. I can be a grouch. 

After the birth of our son because of some medical issues related to birthing for 3 years our marriage went thru a bit of a though time. Also raising two kids 1 year apart is hard and will test your marriage. 

There was never any infidelity just lost of closeness and intimacy. Which we worked very hard at and because we both wanted each other. 

All marriages go thru cycles or seasons. It's the natural way of things. You just have to be aware of where you at that particular point of your life. Always be kind and treat each other with respect. Always want what is the best for each other and your marriage.

And yes we still want to kill each other every now and then. Me more than him.

I came to TAM to learn more and be a better wife. There is always room for improvement.


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## urf (Feb 18, 2017)

51 years in October. Perfectly happy.


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