# EX taking me back to CS Court this week



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

After the court ruled back on Feb 3rd, my EX is taking this back to court arguing that the child support estimation/ruling was incorrect. I'm so frustrated right now, it's unreal. I know her and her lawyer initially gave us their calculation which was LOW. 

My lawyer calculated it and came up with a different number, sat down with her lawyer and came back indicating he made a mistake. That new calculation was presented to the court and was agreed upon by both sides. I don't know if the courts looked at her paystub or took the lawyers words on the amount. 

At this point, I don't know exactly what she is saying is incorrect, but her father made a comment to me suggesting she would have to be making $20,000 more than her current salary for the new CS to be correct. But then he went on saying that the state minimum for CS is just a "starting point" and not a set-standard. So he was suggesting that it can be lower than the state minimum.

So it's either 4 things:
1. My lawyer AND her lawyer messed up the calculation.
2. The court messed up the calculation.
3. My EX provided the wrong pay stub?
4. Nothing is wrong, and my ex is trying to use newly thought of excuses to lower support.

I'm so disappointed that I'm going back that I feel that there should be reimbursement for time off from work, lawyer and court fees.:frown2:


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*When's the last time that you sat down and had a "heart to heart" discussion about this with your counsel?

If either he, her attorney, your W, or the court erred on their calculation, you should be able to call him out on it! 

Just saying! *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Is she appealing the Feb. 3 order, seeking a motion for reconsideration of the Feb. 3 order to correct an error, or is she seeking an entirely new order? It matters at to what she can present to the court.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Her father???? Blood is thicker than water. He'll side with her no matter what.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

arbitrator said:


> *When's the last time that you sat down and had a "heart to heart" discussion about this with your counsel?
> 
> If either he, her attorney, your W, or the court erred on their calculation, you should be able to call him out on it!
> 
> ...


I don't understand what you mean. But if it's the other side's fault ( and ultimately it should be), what would the kids and I benefit from?
And I no longer trust my ex FIL. My EX's dad called me yesterday and I discovered that he's meeting with my EX and her lawyer today. He shared that the calculations were wrong and he went on and on about all her debt that she's accumulated. He even told me he could help me financially if I need it and help put my kids through college. As nice a gesture that was, I can't depend on anyone but myself and do what's best for my kids right now.

I have a strong feeling my EX and her lawyer are going to call him as a witness to state that since he's been supporting her (sending her $$ every month) because of her debt, that she should have her CS lowered even more. They're really desperate.

How could someone who makes over $72,000 a year, has her father pay her child support, medical and airfare as well as NOT have her children the majority of the year still struggle with debt?? Where is her own money going?!?

I don't depend on my parents or anyone else for extra money and I make a little less than my EX. Yet, I manage to stay out of debt because I live within my means. Why can't the courts see it this way and not enable my EX like her father has been??
I am a little worried that the original court ruling amount is going to dratically lower and make things tight once again for my kids and I.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Apparently, like Penna., the CS rules are just guidelines. In which case, personal feelings, emotions, receipts with little proof, federal and possibly state tax records(whichever proves their assertions) are taken into consideration. 

Allowing you to win and feel comfortable is another tactic. They are playing with your emotions and trying to make you feel guilty, along with persuading the hearing officer.

I bet your next judge is a woman who sympathizes with her. Men's lawyers will lose money and clients, if they allow the full measure of the law. 

You need expenses that prove need for your child's money. Don't rely on the letter of the law. Careful what you post here.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Houstondad said:


> I don't understand what you mean. But if it's the other side's fault ( and ultimately it should be), what would the kids and I benefit from?
> And I no longer trust my ex FIL. My EX's dad called me yesterday and I discovered that he's meeting with my EX and her lawyer today. He shared that the calculations were wrong and he went on and on about all her debt that she's accumulated. He even told me he could help me financially if I need it and help put my kids through college. As nice a gesture that was, I can't depend on anyone but myself and do what's best for my kids right now.
> 
> I have a strong feeling my EX and her lawyer are going to call him as a witness to state that since he's been supporting her (sending her $$ every month) because of her debt, that she should have her CS lowered even more. They're really desperate.
> ...


*HD: If I were your attorney and heard your FIL utter those words on the witness stand, I would have absolutely no equivocation in asking him under cross-ex, "if that truly is the case, and you are so financially solvent, then why don't you pay the CS for your daughter and contract with her to pay you back?"

In the vast majority of cases, the presiding judge would go for it!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Houstondad said:


> So it's either 4 things:
> 1. My lawyer AND her lawyer messed up the calculation.
> 2. The court messed up the calculation.
> 3. My EX provided the wrong pay stub?
> ...


I am going with #4.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

As to your FIL offer to help with college, suggest he set up abtrust fund for each child and donate regularly. Set up with guidlines that include a B average to access funds. If your children decided to pass on college, they get the money at age 35.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

JohnA said:


> As to your FIL offer to help with college, suggest he set up abtrust fund for each child and donate regularly. Set up with guidlines that include a B average to access funds. If your children decided to pass on college, they get the money at age 35.


*...or they don't get it at all!

As 35 year old, non-educated louts, they'll pi$$ through that money like a cur dog goes for a meat bone!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

In your search for proof of need, there are a few things which can help.

Your child needs this or that activity to feel like they belong with the others.

The activity builds character.

The child needs dresses for dances, a new suit for church, or a car, or whatever, because s/he will be left out, failing grades, whatever you can think of that no one wants for any child. I think your child is young? 

Remember, your child's growth and development are most important. Doesn't she want the child to grow up strong, healthy and mentally balanced?

It costs this much, receipts, for whatever you claim. You have a better chance, if you are already doing these things. They won't go with what ifs.

It means more work for you in the short-term, but the long-term benefits are huge.

If she missed a weekend or a visit, a school function that was important, bring those things up. Bring the ads or flyers from school. Maybe she doesn't really want to be a part of the child's life? If it's become a pattern, use it. 

ETA: It's not your responsibility to get those advertisements to her. The child is her's as well. It's up to her to get them. It's important that you took her/him to those functions and make a point of expounding on the hurt you saw in your child's eyes cause mummy wasn't there. end edit.

She must prove her responsibility with the child's needs. You have the child. Go with the idea that you are doing the right things and let her prove her assertions, if she can, but make truthful claims when needed, with proof. 

Make them feel bad that you are such a great custodial parent, they would force her to find another job and pay you more. It's her job to defend herself. Don't feel bad. This is a big game, but it's one of the most important one's you'll play. 

Remember, above all, check with your attorney because I am not one. Read up on your state's laws and familiarize yourself with other's child support decisions, from the custodial and non-custodial parent's perspective. 

In my state/region, there are attorneys who will fight for your rights. You may want to look for and talk to one in your area.

ETA: Anything you can write off from your fed or state taxes, whichever proves less income, should be taken advantage of from now on. If you had a small business and could write all income off and show no income, you'd get more. Yes, there are some "rules". Use them. end edit.


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## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

Update: Spoke with my attorney and she was able to get in touch with the other attorney. Apparently, the mistake was due to an $1800 bonus that was on her January pay stub that was included in the monthly salary. That was the current stub she brought which was used instead of her W-2 from 2013. Why she or her attorney didn't catch it then is a mystery?!? My attorney received a copy of this pay stub and it clearly states "bonus" with the $1800. My guess is that her original paystub never clarified this and she had to get her work to fix it??

So the bonus gave the impression she was making $20,000+ a year more than she really was since it was assumed that it was part of her monthly salary. Her attorney also said she gets this bonus twice a year. So my attorney rolled the $3600 into the gross and her CS dropped like a rock. 

But if this is true, it is what it is and the court will have to change the CS amount. I'm a fair guy. I asked my attorney to see if the bonus is truly twice a year and not more than that just to be sure. Should we ask for her 2015 W-2 too? She started this new job in January 2015.
However, my biggest question is WHY do we have to go to court ONLY to make the adjustment to the error?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

The court usually automatically collects payroll data from both and has it with them. That's the way it's done here. Don't know for sure about your state. 

Your attorney should be able to get that with ease.

That's the odd thing. Why does anyone have to go for an update, unless there is a pretty large difference in pay? That's just the way it's done here, as well. Probably the same there. 

Make sure it was something she only gets twice a year. Usually, companies give quarterly bonuses and then Christmas bonuses.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

You have to go to court in case the evidence she presented to correct the error if full of crap, although it doesn't sound like that is the case. Still, its always good to have a chance to challenge the evidence. 

If your A can verify the frequency of the bonus, you might be able to avoid court with a stipulation for correction. Ask your A, it could save you some money.

Sorry about the drop in CS, but as you say, it is what it is.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Her debt load should be irrelevant to the CS question. If it was marital debt, that should have been dealt with in the division of assets during the divorce settlement. 

If there was a large error in the payroll calculation, then you are out of luck. But make them prove it, don't agree to it based on their word or a single pay stub.


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