# Sad and Mad



## Bitter+Sweet (May 19, 2012)

Hi, I been reading posts here for a few days now. I have a question that is burning my heart right now. 

How much can a husband have really loved his wife if after 1 week of moving out he has his profile posted on a dating site saying that he is single. His title is 'hasn't found a keeper yet'. 
After 4 years together, 2.5 married, this sounds so cruel!  And it hurts. I want to cry and scream at the same time. 
This didn't seem like something he would do. He won't be able to file for divorce until June because he spent money on moving and getting a place and doesn't have any left right now.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If he has moved out, how do you know he's on a dating site already?


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

B+S, sorry to see you here .. but we have something in common in our situation.

My stbxw moved out over 2 month ago, after about 3 weeks she reactivated her facebook (she had given up facebook about 6 or so months prior because she couldn't stand seeing everyone complain all the time). The only thing, and I mean ONLY thing she did was change her status from 'married' to 'single'.

This one little action blew up my phone with texts and facebook notifications from friends and family. Seeing how she didn't even have the thought to remove anyone who knew me (especially MY personal friends and family).

I called her, furious. She didn't get it. Just kept saying 'it's only facebook'. My friends figured she only did it to please whoever she was either having a EA or PA with. Some of her family members had responded to her status change with things like WTF etc etc. The next day, her account vanished. Either she blocked everyone or just deactivated her account again.

We were together 7 years almost to the day (I just noticed in 4 days it would have been 7 years officially together) and married almost 5.

To try and even consider what's going through there heads when they do crap like this is so mind boggling and confusing it's really not even worth the effort. 

The one thing that really just stood out though .. the difference between us. The night BEFORE she did this, I actually removed all of her friends and family (and her) from my facebook simply based on the fact that I didn't want anyone to make a comment and have it leak to her side. I felt it wasn't right for me to open our personal lives to her family .. then she goes and does what she did.

Hell, one of the first comments out of her mouth were about how I had already removed her.

I don't know how comfortable you are with revealing the detailed background on your relationship, but if you do then we may be able to help you further.

But as of now, with what you have given up for information .. my best advice (and something I still have trouble with at times) is that you CANNOT let what he does / says get to you.

Don't know if you have children, but if you do, then that's the only time you should be concerned about what he does and says.

Stay strong and welcome to the club! :smthumbup:


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## Bitter+Sweet (May 19, 2012)

Searched a website name I saw while helping him with email problems he was having before he moved out. Checked in on the website for his characteristics and there he was.


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## Bitter+Sweet (May 19, 2012)

Thank you UpnDown. It is amazing to know that so many people are going through some of the same things you are. 

My STBXH and I have been having communication problems for a while now. When we get angry with each other we can go 2 to 3 days and not openly communicate. We have tried to implement ideas that we thought would help. Everytime we try to work on a solution we only keep it up for a little while and then it goes back to the way it was. Went to 2 counseling sessions last year with pastor that married us. Our problems:
-most of our issues were small (don't sweat the small stuff ideals)(washing dishes, what bills to pay off, etc.)
-playing tick for tat - if you did it then I can do it too 
-not listening - I express my feelings and he was ready to defend himself and vice versa not really listening to what each other were saying
-being the bigger person--letting go of grudges
He wanted a divorce 2 months after the sessions b/c he thought nothing was changing. Needless to say I was devasted. I knew things were not good but not bad enough for a divorce. He changed his mind after a few weeks and decided to work it out. 10 months later here we are. Only this time he really did move out.


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