# Did my new boyfriend try stealing from me?



## Curiouscat17 (10 mo ago)

7 weeks ago I met a guy on a night out. We got to talking, swapped numbers etc.. He's impulsive, takes me to nice dinners, movies, is fun, caring, encouraging, smart. We talk for hours about so many things and never get bored of each others company. I've stayed at his place multiple times, no anxieties. 

2 weeks ago though, he turned on me in the middle of the night after he'd drank 2 drinks. He accused me of a few things, mainly me dissing his work and flirting with his best friend. He also stated we had 'no chemistry' despite the supposed 'perfect' month. In anger I almost pulled the plug there & then but he explained himself quite well, that he'd drank and began feeling insecure about me being with other people. 

We talked about this ALOT over the last fortnight and I've warned him if he were to do this again I'd end things. We've met up around 5 times since and he's been fine. Apologising profusely about the incident. No further flags but last night before he stayed at my place, we drank some prosecco.. We were by no means drunk but I was definitely tipsy and as soon as we arrived into my house I went to my roommates room to borrow a pillow as I only have one. 

This is the confusion. I leave my key in my purse.. I immediately, without doubt ALWAYS put my purse RIGHT back in my bag after I've used my key. My OCD is high so I never second guess this. NEVER have I not done this but I was in a rush to sleep as we were both so tired so it was a little blurry. 

This morning we were a little off with each other as we were both tired and miserable upon waking up and as he said "come on, let's go" I realised my purse had gone. Nowhere to be found. I immediately checked my roommates room and saw nothing. Annoyingly, my purse is a weird camouflagey cream colour which does happen to blend well with my roomates duvet but I'd have 99% definitely seen it. He got frustrated, looking everywhere.. I searched EVERYWHERE and knew something strange was happening as there is nowhere id have put it. 

He got a little angry as he was late for work then rushed round the hallway... I don't remember what happened at this point but I found him in my roomates room. I walked in to see him looking around and to my horror and delight found my purse RIGHT on the bed. Looking at me. So so obvious. He mumbled "where??" and I told him.... "RIGHT Infront of your eyes". I first felt stupid but immediately felt petrified ;had he planned to take it? I'd gone into the roomates room 4 times as I knew I'd been in there upon arriving home late the night before. 

Upon accusing him, he swerved off any anger and under his breath said "I can't believe you'd actually THINK like that, babe... Why.. Why would I? I just wanna stop talking about it now.". It was a plausible question but my logic is telling me he may not have realised I keep my key in my purse, thus him not making it to work THIS him throwing it on the roomates bed. 

I do have a terrible short term memory AND I will say, I have bad anxiety. This guy makes 2,500 per month and I don't see why he'd do it now and not in the last 2 months. 

How do I play this now? Do I follow gut instinct or continue gaslighting the both of us?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Curiouscat17 said:


> 7 weeks ago I met a guy on a night out. We got to talking, swapped numbers etc.. He's impulsive, takes me to nice dinners, movies, is fun, caring, encouraging, smart. We talk for hours about so many things and never get bored of each others company. I've stayed at his place multiple times, no anxieties.
> 
> 2 weeks ago though, he turned on me in the middle of the night after he'd drank 2 drinks. He accused me of a few things, mainly me dissing his work and flirting with his best friend. He also stated we had 'no chemistry' despite the supposed 'perfect' month. In anger I almost pulled the plug there & then but he explained himself quite well, that he'd drank and began feeling insecure about me being with other people.
> 
> ...


You know enough now, to break this off and move on.


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## redmarshall (11 mo ago)

I don't know honestly, I think you need to evaluate a bit more, be careful, but you seem to be putting a lot of emphasis on maybe's, wait for something concrete to occur. Or if you're really sure, call it what it is.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

I don't know whether he tried to steal from you but there are far too many problems in here already for such a short time dating. Why bother to continue? Your sunk costs are minimal. Find something more stable with someone else.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Stop getting so wasted you don't remember. And dump the guy you don't trust since he doesn't trust you, either.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

How can you get wasted with half a bottle of Prosecco?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

In Absentia said:


> How can you get wasted with half a bottle of Prosecco?


How do you know it was half a bottle?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> How do you know it was half a bottle?


I don't... She said they drank "some Prosecco"... I assumed nobody in this world would have more than two glasses of that stuff...


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Diceplayer said:


> REDACTED


What's with the **** shaming. She's an adult. If a guy came on here and asked for advice in a similar situation as this woman no one would tell him don't sleep with a girl after 7 weeks.

In addition, If a guy came here and stated after 7 weeks of dating the girl wouldn't sleep with him, most of the responses would be to dump her that she isn't in to you.

@Curiouscat17 Losing the drinking is a good idea. You haven't been around this guy for very long. trust your gut if you think something's up then it probably is. Also it doesn't matter how much money people make some will still steal. Maybe he was snopping for other things than your money. Either way he isn't giving you a good feeling and he's already been atrocious so dump him move on.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Dump this loser! Don't complicate your life with people like this.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

You know the first time he got ****ty with you? That's when you should have ended things because that was him showing you his true self. Once you gave him the ultimatum of "if you do that again I end things" you put him in a position he has to pretend to be who you want, not who he is, and eventually that will end badly.

As for the purse I wouldn't be surprised if he was looking thru it searching for proof you are seeing someone else, or just being nosey, then you startled him so he stashed it until he could move it and let you find it.

All in all it seems like to many negatives in my book.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Curiouscat17 said:


> 7 weeks ago I met a guy on a night out. We got to talking, swapped numbers etc.. He's impulsive, takes me to nice dinners, movies, is fun, caring, encouraging, smart. We talk for hours about so many things and never get bored of each others company. I've stayed at his place multiple times, no anxieties.
> 
> 2 weeks ago though, he turned on me in the middle of the night after he'd drank 2 drinks. He accused me of a few things, mainly me dissing his work and flirting with his best friend. He also stated we had 'no chemistry' despite the supposed 'perfect' month. In anger I almost pulled the plug there & then but he explained himself quite well, that he'd drank and began feeling insecure about me being with other people.
> 
> ...


You need to dump and block that guy. He probably isn't really who he says he is and probably doesn't make what he says he does. He sounds like a con artist who can keep his face on until he has a couple of drinks so you need to get rid of him.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

Anastasia6 said:


> What's with the **** shaming. She's an adult.


Being an adult doesn't make someone a responsible person.


Anastasia6 said:


> If a guy came on here and asked for advice in a similar situation as this woman no one would tell him don't sleep with a girl after 7 weeks.


I would.


Anastasia6 said:


> In addition, If a guy came here and stated after 7 weeks of dating the girl wouldn't sleep with him, most of the responses would be to dump her that she isn't in to you.


You are correct, most people would respond that way and most people are wrong. This is why so many relationships fail, everyone is so quick to jump into bed and start banging someone, they don't take the time necessary to actually get to know the person. People are so desperate to hook up that they don't even take the time to get to know a person before they marry them. Red flags are ignored because, "they have so many redeeming qualities," or "I know I can change them." These are words of desperation. That's what I was pointing out to this girl. She knows what she needs to do but she is so desperate to have a boyfriend that she is willing to overlook the red flags.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Curiouscat17 said:


> 7 weeks ago I met a guy on a night out. We got to talking, swapped numbers etc.. He's impulsive, takes me to nice dinners, movies, is fun, caring, encouraging, smart. We talk for hours about so many things and never get bored of each others company. I've stayed at his place multiple times, no anxieties.
> 
> 2 weeks ago though, he turned on me in the middle of the night after he'd drank 2 drinks. He accused me of a few things, mainly me dissing his work and flirting with his best friend. He also stated we had 'no chemistry' despite the supposed 'perfect' month. In anger I almost pulled the plug there & then but he explained himself quite well, that he'd drank and began feeling insecure about me being with other people.
> 
> ...


If he stole from you, he didn't do it out of need unless he has a drug or gambling habit.
He would have done it simply out of a desire to mess around with your life.
He's not a nice guy, even if he has a charming personality.


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