# Is my husband gay?!



## Jarlet20 (May 21, 2010)

I have been married for 4 months only. I dated my husband for 7 years but we did not live together. We have been sexually active since I was 18. I am 23 now he is 25. He was my first. I previously had a forum discussing that my husband was not very active with sex. In other words, he seemed to not be interested in having sex. Well we moved from my parent's house to our place. I thought this would change things. We live alone and we have been getting along great, but we are still having sex problems. We only have sex if I get lucky 2 times a week. If it happens, it mostly only happens because we argue about it. But it's not just about sex, because I am the type of person that if he didn't have sex with me for weeks I would be fine as long as I knew I was wanted at least. With him, I do not feel wanted. He does not show any type of sexual interest in me. Yesterday, I was trying on new bras in front of him I was just on my panties and he was too busy looking for a place to hang some new frames he bought to pay attention to me. He does not like lingerie. In addition, he hates me being affectionate in public. WHAT IS HIS DEAL! When I bring it up he gets mad and we argue, and since I do not like to argue, I drop it and change the subject. Just now, we were arguing about it over the phone and he hung up on me and does not answer his phone. I am feeling very rejected, and I am not a bad looking girl. He says to me "I see your body every day, what do you want me to do." When we have sex his favorite position is "doggy style" but he does not put it in anal. Oh and he loves PORN! and he knows that I don't mind him watching it but he prefers to sneak around behind my back to watch it. He deletes the history in the computer and on his phone internet. I confronted him and he told me that he was embarrassed. I am really thinking he is gay.
*I NEED HELP.... PLEASE ADVICE!*


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

He is


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Jarlet20 said:


> I have been married for 4 months only. I dated my husband for 7 years but we did not live together. We have been sexually active since I was 18. I am 23 now he is 25. He was my first. I previously had a forum discussing that my husband was not very active with sex. In other words, he seemed to not be interested in having sex. Well we moved from my parent's house to our place. I thought this would change things. We live alone and we have been getting along great, but we are still having sex problems. We only have sex if I get lucky 2 times a week. If it happens, it mostly only happens because we argue about it. But it's not just about sex, because I am the type of person that if he didn't have sex with me for weeks I would be fine as long as I knew I was wanted at least. With him, I do not feel wanted. He does not show any type of sexual interest in me. Yesterday, I was trying on new bras in front of him I was just on my panties and he was too busy looking for a place to hang some new frames he bought to pay attention to me. He does not like lingerie. In addition, he hates me being affectionate in public. WHAT IS HIS DEAL! When I bring it up he gets mad and we argue, and since I do not like to argue, I drop it and change the subject. Just now, we were arguing about it over the phone and he hung up on me and does not answer his phone. I am feeling very rejected, and I am not a bad looking girl. He says to me "I see your body every day, what do you want me to do." When we have sex his favorite position is "doggy style" but he does not put it in anal. Oh and he loves PORN! and he knows that I don't mind him watching it but he prefers to sneak around behind my back to watch it. He deletes the history in the computer and on his phone internet. I confronted him and he told me that he was embarrassed. I am really thinking he is gay.
> *I NEED HELP.... PLEASE ADVICE!*


Personally, I think I'd rather see my wife in a short skirt and heels than in panties. Just sexier.

So he knows that you know he watches porn. Ask if you can watch it together. Even find a site that you could view some (PM me for my favorites :ezpi_wink1 then tell him you saw some good ones and tell him what your favorite(s) were and ask him what his are.

Hopefully this will stir some interest.


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## brad (Jul 31, 2008)

I kinda laughed when you said he is always watching porn and then you followed with is he gay?

He prefers porn over you right now. I personally went through the same thing when I first got married. My wife just seemed boring. And she is actually very hot. It's a mind thing with guys. Each porn viewing is a date with a different gal. 

Dont force him to quit the porn thing. It will only make him resent you. 

I dont have any advice exept patience. Eventually I got over it and hardly ever view porn anymore.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Well, I'm a certified GayDar operator and Captain, I don't really have a blip yet on the GayDar.

We have had forum members here that like shoving phallic objects where the sun don't shine - that causes a blip on the Gaydar, if you are male, that is.

All we have so far, captain is:

1. He's not interested in sex.
2. He is watching porn.

He could just be asexual, captain. I would respectfully ask that you see what kind of porn he is watching and that could be very helpful in determining/confirming sexual orientation.

Gaydar Room out.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

PS: My GayDar is actually fairly sensitive, although not perfect of course.

My stb-x acted all surprised when she learned that Clay Aiken, who she had a thing for, was gay.

I told her that was a big fat "Duh! Duh! Duh!" on my GayDar.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

What kind of porn is he looking at? If it's involving other women, then I highly doubt he's gay. I suppose he could be looking at it for the men...but given the wealth of porn and the wide variety of it, I'm sure he could find porn to satisfy any orientation or fetish you could dream of. 

I don't know what could be going on with him, it's something you need to ask him. Only he can tell you why he seems to have no interest in sex. I know for my boyfriend, it was low testosterone. Once he got treated for that, things improved. Some people just have less interest in sex than others. Could be asexual, as Scannerguard said. Lots of options here, and the only way to get a good answer is to talk to him.


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

Most likely gay porn


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Of all the causes of a sexless marriage the gay spouse trying to "pass" for straight is number 19 on a list of 20 reasons marriages are sexless. In other words, it is pretty rare.

For the rejected spouse it is actually comforting (in the best of a bad situation sense) because a gay partner being the cause of a sexless marriage takes away any guilt she may feel and puts all blame on the Refuser. But it is rarely that easy.

Many men get bored sexually after they get married and find themselves losing sexual desire for their wives. Some have affairs, many turn to porn and masturbation. 

The reasons for this boredom are many and they can be connected to a discomfort with married sex caused by uneasiness with intimacy. The fact that he shuns certain shows of affection may be a clue that this is indeed what is wrong. usually men with this problem also have trouble with all kinds of personal relationships including friends and family. If he's a bit of an independent type, a loner, a man who prefers being by himself a lot and is uncomfortable in social situations then difficulties with interpersonal intimacy which usually has its roots in some kind of childhood and/or family or origin trauma could be the root cause of the sexual problems in the marriage. And these problems are usually not evident before the wedding especially if the couple did not live together.


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## jakeflop (Aug 2, 2010)

I need to throw this out there. I think that insane amounts of porn and strip clubs desensitized my ****. You're confused, let me explain. I can go into a strip club, hang out for an hour and drink a few beers without even getting a chubby. Now if the stripper walks over and starts rubbing...

Porn gets me excited. A hot chick naked, having some fun with a guy, that's hot! Watching women at stores try on bras? I just don't think that's as hot, but that's my opinion, and I'm guessing that I share it with your husband.

My point is this, I'm not so sure that if I went bra shopping for my wife I would be thinking about sex either. I would probably be trying to convince her to spend the extra $20 for a better quality bra to hold those bad boys in place so they don't give her back problems. 

Like the other poster, I would rather see the bottoms of her butt cheeks hanging out of some really short shorts. lol...

Anyway, I don't think he is gay unless he doesn't enjoy sex with you and he goes soft often. If that happens you may be a little more apt to believe the gayness. That, or maybe he has a few more pounds. I know when I was heavy it was sort of a chore to keep it solid like rock! hah!


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## posh7 (Jul 7, 2010)

I don't think he's gay. He's probably stressed, bored or both. My hubby dosen't care for lingerie AT ALL. Putting on a dress that hits me in the right places is what gets him going. Also, I try to keep covered when I'm getting dressed. That way he will be super interested in my bod when he's in the mood.

Hope that helps!


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## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

has he called you 'Mike' or 'Dave' when you 2 have sex?..that would be clue #1


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