# She is not wearing the engagement ring when she is away



## Pulsarkuant (Mar 19, 2018)

Actually we are in defacto relationship with my wife. We have scheduled official marriage date a few months later. 

We don’t have any issue in our relationship in fact all so good (may be only for me).

Previously we had a ring conversation last year and that time she was saying she doesn’t want her colleagues know it because they were gonna ask many questions. That time I asked her it is a commitment and I’m not ok if you hide it. That time she agreed and started wearing. We started living together. 

This is an international relationship but until her visa get granted we are living together in another country. 2 weeks ago she wanted to see her daughter from her previous marriage and wanted to back home country. I sent her to allow her to see her daughter and she was very happy about it. 

Since she went there and communication fell a part. She said she doesn’t have good internet. With my push she was sending a few Viber messages and done for a day or two.

I asked her to send photos and she sent last week. My messages only replied when time midnight on her country.
Later I realised she wasn’t wearing her engagement ring anymore from the photos she sent.

I asked her if she can send me more photos 1 week later. She sent Again and photos wasn’t showing any ring.

I opened the subject and asked her why she is not wearing her ring. She sent me this message “When we will marry I will be wearing our wedding ring all the time and I will not put off ring even when I go to sleep”.

I thought we finalised this conversation in the past and not wearing ring only when I’m not present brought tens of questions marks in my head and I’m quite a bit disturbed. I love her more than anything but I started thinking if she does. Or maybe she just want to step on my country to get better life. Until today she demonstrated perfect relationship and I didn’t observe anything suspicious but this incident hurting me a lot. She is coming back tomorrow morning and I’ll pick her up from the airport. I’m not feeling good and we will talk about this subject when she comes.
I would like to hear your views please.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I would be very careful. Not just because of the ring. How well do you know this girl?


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## Pulsarkuant (Mar 19, 2018)

I know her since December 2016 and I didn’t observe anything major except she told me that she has a daughter after a few months later during our relationship and I accepted the fact. My view she was genuine at all times but now I’m not sure about anything. Maybe she is just a perfect player that’s why I’m seeking some help.
Same time I also wonder if I’m paying too much attention on the ring.


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## [email protected] (Mar 1, 2018)

This woman is the plague for you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are the two of you?

How did you meet this woman? Did she move to where you are to be with you? 

What sorts of social stigma exists where you live for a couple living together who is not married? Could she be trying to keep things a bit quiet until you are married because of that?


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

When someone shows you who they are belive them!

Marry her at your own risk.

Why did she divorce her 1st husband?


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Maybe marring you for her green card?

Something smells like a rat!


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## Pulsarkuant (Mar 19, 2018)

I love her so much and I really can’t believe she was that professional to pretend loving me. We’ve been in many places, travels etc. we both married previously.
Same time I also don’t want to be fooled or marry with my future ex-wife. Our migration application in progress and who knows how long it will take time but it’s not the problem. I would give her a reward if she really fooled me that much.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Pulsarkuant said:


> I know her since December 2016 and I didn’t observe anything major except she told me that she has a daughter after a few months later during our relationship and I accepted the fact.* My view she was genuine at all times* but now I’m not sure about anything. Maybe she is just a perfect player that’s why I’m seeking some help.
> Same time I also wonder if I’m paying too much attention on the ring.


I call BS.......... you didn't know she had a child until a few months in? That is a HUGE

red flag. Oh... and you accepted this.... sounds like you weren't thrilled about her having a child already.

Or was it the fact she kept it from you. What type of woman neglects to tell her b/f she has a kid?

A.... woman who has many skeletons in her closet.

When you give a female a ring.... 99% of that group will not take it off.

Seems as if yours is in the 1%.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Where was she staying when she went back?

Most likely I assume her daughter was staying with her ex husband?

You do know what she was saying was BS right?

When you're getting married you're excited to show off your engagement ring. You'd think she would be excited to show her friends or even her daughter she was getting married.

Have you met/talked to her family and friends back home?

Have you met/talked to her ex husband?

Did her husband remarry? Why did they divorce? And why did she not get custody of her daughter?

She's keeping her two lives separate and that would be a cause for concern. It's a conscious decision to take the ring off and the reason why she took it off she hasn't told you so she's already lying to you.


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## Pulsarkuant (Mar 19, 2018)

Thanks for your points. Yes I met with her family l, mother sister, aunt and cousin but she has no communication with her ex. 
I visited her work place (a reputable company) and met with her friends too. They even provide letter to support our case for immigration purposes.
We had dinners with her family and all went amazingly perfect.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I have got to ask the question - where is she from (her original country) ?
Where are you from and also what temporary country are you both staying in until immigration is complete ?

I am assuming her daughter stays with her mother etc ?


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

manfromlamancha said:


> I have got to ask the question - where is she from (her original country) ?
> Where are you from and also what temporary country are you both staying in until immigration is complete ?
> 
> I am assuming her daughter stays with her mother etc ?


Please answer these ^^^ questions (if you can). As Elle asked, is it unacceptable to wear wedding/engagement rings before the marriage in her culture? Also, is she from a bad area where jewelry on her hand would make her a target? Are there people where she's from that she doesn't want to know she is trying to leave? Like her ex, or some other bad guys? 

Or is she just playing you? If I lived in a third world nation and some rich American lady wanted to pay my way to a better life, I can't say I wouldn't accept. And I also can't say that I would actually love her. YMMV.


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## Pulsarkuant (Mar 19, 2018)

Thanks everyone for your points. I think I got enough idea. Thanks very much for your time and sharing your opinions.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Pulsarkuant did she divorce her husband, or did he divorce her? If so, why?

Have you seen any divorce papers? Is she possibly still, legally, married to her first husband?

Why did she not tell you she had a child until fairly late into the relationship?

If she didn't want her colleagues to know you are in a relationship, why would she then introduce you to them?

Why is she not wearing her engagement ring?

This is sounding wrong. Please proceed with great caution.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Pulsarkuant said:


> I love her so much and I really can’t believe she was that professional to pretend loving me. We’ve been in many places, travels etc. we both married previously.
> Same time I also don’t want to be fooled or marry with my future ex-wife. Our migration application in progress and who knows how long it will take time but it’s not the problem. I would give her a reward if she really fooled me that much.


You are very naive. Better fix that


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Pulsarkuant said:


> Thanks everyone for your points. I think I got enough idea. Thanks very much for your time and sharing your opinions.




Lol don’t want to answer the questions, eh?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I see it this way..

You have questioned her before for NOT wearing her ring. You showed concern, showed hurt and questioning consideration.
You have asked her about this 'more than once'.

Yet, she continues to NOT wear the ring. She carelessly has her picture taken without the ring.

That shows contempt for your fears, your concern. This, in itself, is troubling.

If the ring means nothing to her, your ring..... you, mean nothing to her. Not much, it seems.

A ring is a symbol of belonging to someone. When she removes it she says to others that she is free.
She belongs to no one.

Now, with @EleGirl s question. On your cultural restrictions.... What faith are you?, Are you, is she a Muslim?
If so, than the below URL 'can' apply.

https://islamqa.info/en/21441


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## Pulsarkuant (Mar 19, 2018)

Sorry guys I’m not ignoring messages but also I am aware of fact this is the internet and receiving wide spectrum of answers highly possible so I can’t give full weight and make decisions based on posts here but I can get enough idea or verify my views. There are new developments happening and she is coming soon. We will talk and understand what’s going on. There is no cultural issue which may prevent her to not wear the ring. She is originally Russian if it helps.
I would like to give her enough opportunity to express her side of story. It is extremely difficult and hurting more than hot iron.


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## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

Oh man! You are being set up! Run!!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Pulsarkuant said:


> I know her since December 2016 and I didn’t observe anything major except she told me that she has a daughter after a few months later during our relationship and I accepted the fact. My view she was genuine at all times but now I’m not sure about anything. Maybe she is just a perfect player that’s why I’m seeking some help.
> Same time I also wonder if I’m paying too much attention on the ring.


The fact that she didn't tell you she had a daughter for months is a massive red flag. Thats the sort of thing you say on the first date. The fact that she has left her daughter on one country and gone to another is also weird. The fact that she wont wear her engagement ring is also a red flag. 

Where is she from and where are you from?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Pulsarkuant said:


> Thanks for your points. Yes I met with her family l, mother sister, aunt and cousin but she has no communication with her ex.
> I visited her work place (a reputable company) and met with her friends too. They even provide letter to support our case for immigration purposes.
> We had dinners with her family and all went amazingly perfect.


Who does her daughter live with and why cant she come and live with you?


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

Diane,
The woman is Russian. We don't know what nationality OP is or where he is living currently (waiting for her immigration papers to come in).


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

OP...... Lil story.... Guy meets girl overseas....old Soviet Bloc country. He flies to meet her, meets the

cousin, her and brother. No other family so they must come too. Once in US... her and her brother

strangely begin to par-tay almost nightly and the guy is stuck watching the cousin. 

They marry.... nothing changes. After a bit of digging with embassy, he uncovers fact

her and brother were.... a married couple from the Czech Republic and the cousin was their child.

To this day....nearly 25 years later, he still calls it his "$200,000 mistake" 

Be cautious...


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