# Need some help please



## Carguy (May 23, 2011)

Hi everyone. I need some help.

Warning: explicit content.

I have been married for 2 years to my wife and I was a virgin when we got married. She can't cum from intercourse (which is normal for the majority of woman), and so she will play with herself during intercourse so she will have an orgasm. If I go down on her, she has a pretty intense orgasm, so that's not an issue.

She is pretty dissapointed that she has to do this (or use a small vibrator) to cum when we have sex. 

Is this normal? Is there something we could do different so she wouldn't have to "do it herself" while we are having sex? We usually do have sex in the missionary position, but have also tried doggy once and a couple variations of missionarry...ie, her legs on my shoulders and her on the edge of the bed and I standing.

Thank you for your help.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Carguy, my current GF is like that as well. Orgasms are plentiful through other means, but through intercourse, never in 3 month, and never before for her. We don't worry about it, although I think she sometimes blames herself and puts pressure on herself, which makes things worse.

I'd suggest experimenting with different angles... Try a wedge or pillow under her hips. Try varying her stimulation... Oral, then intercourse, some more oral or fingers... Get her to tell you what feels good, and focus on that. Look up some websites of other positions you can try... Try doggy again (only once?). Let her be on top and control her movements.

Do you use birth control? If so, what?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Sounds totally normal. Most women need clitoral stimulation (there is a reason we have one  ) in order to cum - most don't have it happen only through intercourse.

Here's some stats from Dr. Phil: Dr. Phil.com - Advice - The Female Orgasm 

and from the ubiquitous wikipedia which states that only 20% of women can achieve orgasm via intercourse alone: Orgasm - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## Carguy (May 23, 2011)

Thanks for the responses. She is currently on Nuva Ring.

Is there anything else that I don't know to do differently so she doesn't have to stimulate her clit herself? What can I do specifically to do that for her while having sex?


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Well, two techniques that have worked.

1) Lady on top, with a slightly different sliding motion as evidenced here (kind of a silly graphic, not real pictures): Why Woman on Top Can be More Orgasmic for Her

2) A variation of the missionary position, called the "Coital Alignment Technique" or CAT position which also involves a sliding motion rather than up and down. You can google this. I couldn't find a site that I would want to put on here.

There was another poster a while back that posted the following site, which I was frankly astounded at the number of positions and creativity people have. Their pictures are just graphic looking couples moving, not real ones, so maybe aren't so explicit. I guess you can have fun starting to work your way through them and see if any work: Your Guide for Sex Tips | SexInfo101.com


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Try standing facing the bed and enter your wife as she lays on the bed before you. From this position, the clitoris is really easy to stimulate with your hand or fingers while your penis is inside her. You could even borrow her small vibrator and stimulate her clitoris while you're inside her.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Takes my wife much much longer in the missionary position. With her on top, or in my lap, facing me on the small sofa in our bedroom, we are at 100%.


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## I'vetried (May 24, 2011)

I actually had this problem my whole life and while my exs said they understood it still didn't help. It made me not want sex alot because I felt like I was wired wrong because I couldn't get the big O from my partner. I am in a relationship now that when (which is becoming a rarity) we have sex I achieve multiple orgasms. What helped for me was that he took alot of time on four play and indulged me by letting me play dress up (which put my confidence through the roof) and really helped take my mind of worrying about if I could achieve a orgasm. Also I didn't get big O's right away, they were alot smaller than I was used too but gradually got bigger and better. Part of the problem I realized was trying clitoral stimuli during sex prevented me from what was going on inside. Also keep trying different moves and positions too. I apologize for the explicit nature of this post but I hope it can help.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Something like 3/5ths of women or more have problems climaxing with vaginal intercourse alone. That's just reality. So either you're going to have to switch up intercourse with other things or you're going to have to have intercourse in a position that permits one or both of you to also stimulate her clitoris at the same time with a toy or someone's hand. You might also experiment with a vibrating jelly ring.


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