# Why are young men having such a difficult time communicating



## brooklynAnn

I just got a surprised visit from my son's girlfriend or such I say ex-girlfriend. She took the day off from school to come see me because my idiot of a son broke up with her. I asked her what happen and she said she does not know. He would not talk to her. She heard from some friends that he was talking about breaking up with her. So, she asked why and he said it was complicated and did not want to talk about it. WTF?

So, she was crying and ask me if I knew anything. I said no but he was just a stupid boy, who can't express his feelings well. So, after having a long talk with her and trying to reassure her that she will be ok, I found out she went to Mexico and saw an old friend there. So, I think someone of those foolish kids told my son that she saw a boy there and now he thinks that she cheated. The old friend was never a boyfriend, just someone who knows her family. So, my son and his friends decided she cheated and they all stop speaking to her. 

Young people drama. 

Last night, I gave my son a bottle of perfume for her because I did not like it and thought she might like it. My son told me that I should stop giving her stuff and not to get too close to her. Not realizing he was already broken up with her. I asked if everything was alright and he said mum, you don't need to know everything about me. 

I am trying to get him to learn to talk but nothing is working with this boy. 

She is such a nice girl and I really liked her. My son is a good kid, with no problems expect his addiction to his Xbox. He is involued in a lot of sports and is involved in youth development and leadership. So, he is always busy and is only home on Sundays. He has taken classes on communication and he does speech/debate, so how on earth he can't talk to his girlfriend?

Anyone with similar stories/trials?


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## C3156

I and my wife have the same issue with her son. 

He does all this thinking in his head and on social media. Trying to have a discussion with him is like talking to a brick wall, he just sits there and looks at you. He gets all wound up but can't tell us what is bothering him. I know what you mean about drama, nothing is simple. Everything gets blown out of proportion.

What gets us is that he can never see his involvement in a situation. Will never accept his actions and will shift blame all the time. Getting him to see that he ****ed something up is almost impossible. Every now and then he will have a moment of clarity and will get depressed for a little while.

He is a okay kid but has issues, I have posted on him previously. He is now reaping some of what he has sown and having to deal with some of the fallout of his actions. He had a great future but now has to dig himself out of the hole he has dug for himself. At least he has not gotten some girl pregnant yet.


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## brooklynAnn

No sex yet. Thank God for that. I just wish he would talk more. He thinks bringing his gf home to watch streaming videos is a date.:| 

But I was so surprised she came to see me during the school day. She was so sad because she does not understand what happened. My daughter said my son is one of those guys who messes up girls with his stupid self.


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## EllisRedding

Is it a young men problem or more of a young generation (i.e .men and women) problem? I think the growing role of social media and lack of direct interaction with people is leading to poor communication skills among both young men and women. Taking classes really only prepare you for more "formal" interactions, where a lot of social communicating seems to be happening via text/social media.


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## brooklynAnn

EllisRedding said:


> Is it a young men problem or more of a young generation (i.e .men and women) problem? I think the growing role of social media and lack of direct interaction with people is leading to poor communication skills among both young men and women. Taking classes really only prepare you for more "formal" interactions, where a lot of social communicating seems to be happening via text/social media.


I think it's young men. The girls are still taking. And the boys are still internalizing everything and can't express themselves. This is his second relationship. The first one broke up with him because he needed to speak more and he would not talk that much to her. So, she end things. Now here we are agAIN.


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## Ynot

Maybe you should stop assuming you know what is best for your son. Perhaps it had nothing to do with what you think he heard, maybe this girl just doesn't feel right tom him. By refusing to talk, he is in fact communicating. Perhaps he is not comfortable expressing his thoughts without feeling he is being judged? From my experience I learned to just keep my mouth shut about things that were bothering me, because I was told it was stupid, or I shouldn't think that way or some other response, other than to just be allowed to express how I felt without judgement. Perhaps empathy for your son would go farther than judging him. Whatever he is feeling is real to him. Understanding and listening maybe all he needs.


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## brooklynAnn

Ynot said:


> Maybe you should stop assuming you know what is best for your son. Perhaps it had nothing to do with what you think he heard, maybe this girl just doesn't feel right tom him. By refusing to talk, he is in fact communicating. Perhaps he is not comfortable expressing his thoughts without feeling he is being judged? From my experience I learned to just keep my mouth shut about things that were bothering me, because I was told it was stupid, or I shouldn't think that way or some other response, other than to just be allowed to express how I felt without judgement. Perhaps empathy for your son would go farther than judging him. Whatever he is feeling is real to him. Understanding and listening maybe all he needs.


You think I am judging him? 

I thought I was just trying to understand him. It's kinda hard to listen to him when he does not speak.:smile2:

I totally understand that maybe she is not the one for him. And he has ever right to keep his feeling to himself. I just don't want him to become one of those men who can't communicate.


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## uhtred

Is young people having difficulties talking about relationships a new problem? I seem to remember it from when I was young.


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## EllisRedding

uhtred said:


> Is young people having difficulties talking about relationships a new problem? I seem to remember it from when I was young.


I think this is what I was getting at. It doesn't seem like a new problem to me, and maybe just amplified now thanks to social media.


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## phillybeffandswiss

Wait what? A teenager being stupid and hurtful in a relationship? j/k. I think this is less about boys and men, but more about you feeling embarrassed at your son's actions. 

First thing I thought was, "she ran to his mom, that's why he said nothing." You know your son better than us, but at the end of the day we do not know what is in our kids minds even if we believe they were raised properly. You weren't dating her and only saw small snippets.


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## sokillme

brooklynAnn said:


> I said no but he was just a stupid boy, who can't express his feelings well.


I have identified your problem for you. Is it any surprise that a young man whose Mother posts on a message boy calling him a stupid boy has some trouble talking about his feelings?

Your completely dismissive of him. I wonder if he has learned not to bother because of this. Guys are to dumb to talk about their feelings as we know. /s


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## EleGirl

How old is your son? What grade is he in?


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## Ynot

brooklynAnn said:


> You think I am judging him?
> 
> I thought I was just trying to understand him. It's kinda hard to listen to him when he does not speak.:smile2:
> 
> I totally understand that maybe she is not the one for him. And he has ever right to keep his feeling to himself. I just don't want him to become one of those men who can't communicate.


I dunno, what is say something like "my idiot of a son"? Sounds pretty judgmental to me. You called your son an idiot because he doesn't want to go out with a girl who you happen to like. I could completely understand why he might not feel comfortable discussing an issue with you. Then his sister (I assume since she is your daughter) comes along and says "he is messing girls up with his stupid self". All of his friends are "foolish" because they won't speak to her. Yet you only have her (the exGF) side of the story and have already determined your son is a dolt because after all this is already his SECOND relationship. So here we go again, which sould like this has happened before.

Your son is in HS and will probably have many relationships (hopefully) along the way. Be HIS shoulder to cry and, not another woman taking sides against him. If you convey any of the thoughts you have expressed here to him, in any way (communication is not just talking BTW) it is no wonder he feels uncomfortable talking about his feelings with women (you his sister, he first ex, his second ex etc)

I understand teenage angst, but honestly his exGF sounds like a real drama queen. She thinks she can manipulate him thru you and you fell for it. I would have told her that he is his own person and will make decisions as he sees fir. And I would tell him, that he need not stress over this one, because there will always be another.


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## Personal

I don't think it's a generational or a gender issue.

Personality is the driver of such things.

My 16 year old son has always been a blabber mouth, he loves to talk about everything all of the time, in fact he could do with being a little reticent at times. On the other hand my 13 year old daughter has always been very guarded emotionally, very quiet (except when she's making music), hides things and is a keeper of secrets.


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## Satya

He made a choice and he clearly wants to live by it. Whether you think he's wrong about it, he needs to learn about choices and consequences on his own terms.


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## MJJEAN

brooklynAnn said:


> I asked if everything was alright and he said mum, you don't need to know everything about me.
> 
> I am trying to get him to learn to talk but nothing is working with this boy.


Just because he's not talking to you or his now ex-GF's doesn't mean he isn't talking. He's a teenager, yes? He is probably very naturally becoming more independent of his family. He probably is talking to certain people of his own choosing.

I remember when my boy was little. He simply refused to walk. My daughters were walking as soon as their chubby baby legs could hold them up, but not my boy. Drove me nutty! I tried everything. No dice. 

I had a friend who had 5 children. The youngest were a set of fraternal twins just a few years older than my boy. My friend offered to babysit so I could go out with DH. Lo and behold, my son met her daughter and was quite happy to hold her hand and walk all over their 3 story house, stairs and all. If I hadn't seen the video I would never have believed it.

Your son will talk when he has something to say and someone he wants to say it to.

I really liked my DD#2's former BF. They were together for a little over two years and he lived with us for a time when his family moved away and abandoned him. (They literally told him they were moving and, since he'd turned 18, they weren't taking him with them...3 days before they moved.) She broke up with him and he moved out at the end of last summer. I still miss him. He came to see me for Christmas, and we do keep in touch, but it's not the same. DD moved on to a new BF and is living with him. I'm not a fan, but I'm keeping my opinion to myself and hoping she doesn't get pregnant and/or marry him.

DD#1 has been living with her BF for over a year. They allegedly have plans to marry. They live out of state, so I didn't meet him until the came to visit for a few days this last Christmas. I adore this man! If they don't work out for some reason, I will be so bummed!


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## phillybeffandswiss

I'm curious what you want him to talk about? He has a full plate, from what you described, but it sounds like he doesn't want to share love life details with you. Are you expecting the same type of communication from him you share with your daughter?


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## Ynot

phillybeffandswiss said:


> I'm curious what you want him to talk about? He has a full plate, from what you described, but it sounds like he doesn't want to share love life details with you. Are you expecting the same type of communication from him you share with your daughter?


I truly believe that women expect men to communicate in the same way women do. However, most men don't. When they don't, the same women throw up their hands and say "I told him, but he didn't listen!". Some women are great at communicating WITH OTHER women, but not so much with men. In the meantime, society tells us that women are the better communicators, so it must be the man's fault. Yet we wonder where the disconnect is?


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## Andy1001

You say your son calls over on Sunday to see you.Keep interfering in his love life,talking to his EX girlfriend about him behind his back and you might get to see him for Christmas.You are coming across as the mother from hell,giving your unwanted opinion about his love life.
How would you feel if he read what you just wrote about him.Keep your nose out of his business because that's what it is,HIS business.


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## phillybeffandswiss

Ynot said:


> I truly believe that women expect men to communicate in the same way women do. However, most men don't. When they don't, the same women throw up their hands and say "I told him, but he didn't listen!". Some women are great at communicating WITH OTHER women, but not so much with men. In the meantime, society tells us that women are the better communicators, so it must be the man's fault. Yet we wonder where the disconnect is?


My question is more about the closeness of mothers and daughters vs mothers and sons. My wife and our daughter talk about everything. She gets frustrated because there are certain things fathers and sons talk about to the exclusion of mothers. I'd say sex and girlfriends are at the top of the list. This sounds like one of these situations. Yes, even if he was raised by her, there are things boys do not want to discuss with their mother.


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## Ynot

phillybeffandswiss said:


> My question is more about the closeness of mothers and daughters vs mothers and sons. My wife and our daughter talk about everything. She gets frustrated because there are certain things fathers and sons talk about to the exclusion of mothers. I'd say sex and girlfriends are at the top of the list. This sounds like one of these situations. Yes, even if he was raised by her, there are things boys do not want to discuss with their mother.


I have no argument with that. Heck I remember my ex being all wigged out because my daughter had me wrapped around her little finger. In the meantime she got all wigged out about things our son was doing. What she didn't realize is that he was doing the same to her as my daughter was doing to me. I had never been a teenage girl, going thru my period. I had however been a teenage boy and knew exactly what kind of scam my son was running on her. She wouldn't listen to me though. She was the great communicator, she knew better. She cried a lot but I don't think she ever learned. Hopefully the OP will learn to be less judgmental and more understanding?


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## TX-SC

Well, according to TAM logic, his gut told him she was cheating so he broke up with her immediately. Many here would applaud his response. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## phillybeffandswiss

LOL, wrong TAM forum logic, this isn't CWI. They aren't married and they are High School teens. TAM logic, in this case, is they are too young to be serious and he needs to make mistakes.


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## Ynot

phillybeffandswiss said:


> LOL, wrong TAM forum logic, this isn't CWI. They aren't married and they are High School teens. TAM logic, in this case, is they are too young to be serious and he needs to make mistakes.


IF and that is a big if, he really made a mistake. 

You are correct, they are young, this might just be the natural course of action taken by someone who is finding out who he is. Perhaps the exGF was a cheerleader. He had gone out with her because that is what jocks are supposed to do. But now he has discovered he really isn't into that type of personality? Perhaps the exGF was his "mistake"?

Who are we to say he made a mistake, all we know is he broke up with her and the reason we were given by his exGF was an innocent meeting with a family friend in Mexico. We don't know what the boy was thinking. He may have even given her this reason because now he is interested in Sally or Mary or Megan or Missy or Josie or whoever.


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## phillybeffandswiss

Ynot said:


> IF and that is a big if, he really made a mistake.
> 
> You are correct, they are young, this might just be the natural course of action taken by someone who is finding out who he is. Perhaps the exGF was a cheerleader. He had gone out with her because that is what jocks are supposed to do. But now he has discovered he really isn't into that type of personality? Perhaps the exGF was his "mistake"?
> 
> Who are we to say he made a mistake, all we know is he broke up with her and the reason we were given by his exGF was an innocent meeting with a family friend in Mexico. We don't know what the boy was thinking. He may have even given her this reason because now he is interested in Sally or Mary or Megan or Missy or Josie or whoever.


LOL. I don't know why this thread bothers you so, I will explain myself once more and then we are done in this thread. My comment is in GENERAL. I responded to the poster above because the entire "OMG Gut= cheating" is differentiated among many parents into "they are young and/or they make mistakes" in the parenting forum. His mom thinkks he made a mistake and is dumb or an idiot. So, I'm responding in general to her thinking mistake, cheating and other things are important to teen dating right now. There isn't a bunch of CWI bickering politics about cheating, reconciliation and gut instincts in here.


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## Ynot

phillybeffandswiss said:


> LOL. I don't know why this thread bothers you so, I will explain myself once more and then we are done in this thread. My comment is in GENERAL. I responded to the poster above because the entire "OMG Gut= cheating" is differentiated among many parents into "they are young and/or they make mistakes" in the parenting forum. His mom thinkks he made a mistake and is dumb or an idiot. So, I'm responding in general to her thinking mistake, cheating and other things are important to teen dating right now. There isn't a bunch of CWI bickering politics about cheating, reconciliation and gut instincts in here.


Why is that whenever you attempt to have a conversation about something it automatically assumed you are "bothered" or "upset". I was responding to you saying the kid needs to make mistakes. I disagree that he made a mistake in this case. We simply don't know and that is all I am saying. If you think that is a sign I am "bothered" you are very confused.

OTOH this thread does highlight the disconnect between what society (which many women and some men accept) that women are the better communicators.


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## phillybeffandswiss

Ynot said:


> OTOH this thread does highlight the disconnect between what society (which many women and some men accept) that women are the better communicators.


Nope, not confused, this shows me you anger level thanks.


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## Ynot

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Nope, not confused, this shows me you anger level thanks.


LOL, you are extremely confused. I was making an observations. But that's OK only you are allowed to make observations, anybody else is just "bothered"


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## TaDor

I don't remember much important from my late-teen years. But a lot of things my parents think they know about me as a teen - they didn't and don't really know. Somethings yes, as we were pretty good on communications. But at age 17, there was some sort of parent<>teen drama in which they has assumed I was still a virgin. I didn't say anything other than chuckle "yeah, right" - which shut them up. None of their business and I was amused by their assumption. Of course, I never told them I was sexually active at 11 or anything else from before.

Remember, in general - boys are supposed to be "men" and hold their feelings in, etc. Because crying or being human is "weak" bs... 

A friend of mine has excellent communications with his daughter since she was little, so things about sex WERE discussed when she was early teens that she was curious about. No shame, no insults - just truth and facts. That is the kind of communication we strive for to teach our toddler.

If he isn't offering to talk, not much you can do about it. People 17~20 typically KNOW-IT-ALL and nobody understands them junk... The most you can say "I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk".


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## SunCMars

Be happy. He is too young to bury his heart in some girls chest.

Do not be surprised if some "looker" gal does the same thing to him. 

So far his heart beats for himself. When a girl finally hooks him, his tongue will extend so far out of his mouth he will trip over it.

At that age, most boys want to do the picking for themselves. They will pass up real beauties and get stuck with an elusive, selfish Tart that HE WANTS.


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## Cooper

brooklynAnn said:


> I just got a surprised visit from my son's girlfriend or such I say ex-girlfriend. She took the day off from school to come see me because my idiot of a son broke up with her. I asked her what happen and she said she does not know. He would not talk to her. She heard from some friends that he was talking about breaking up with her. So, she asked why and he said it was complicated and did not want to talk about it. WTF?
> 
> So, she was crying and ask me if I knew anything. I said no but he was just a stupid boy, who can't express his feelings well. So, after having a long talk with her and trying to reassure her that she will be ok, I found out she went to Mexico and saw an old friend there. So, I think someone of those foolish kids told my son that she saw a boy there and now he thinks that she cheated. The old friend was never a boyfriend, just someone who knows her family. So, my son and his friends decided she cheated and they all stop speaking to her.
> 
> Young people drama.
> 
> Last night, I gave my son a bottle of perfume for her because I did not like it and thought she might like it. My son told me that I should stop giving her stuff and not to get too close to her. Not realizing he was already broken up with her. I asked if everything was alright and he said mum, you don't need to know everything about me.
> 
> I am trying to get him to learn to talk but nothing is working with this boy.
> 
> She is such a nice girl and I really liked her. My son is a good kid, with no problems expect his addiction to his Xbox. He is involued in a lot of sports and is involved in youth development and leadership. So, he is always busy and is only home on Sundays. He has taken classes on communication and he does speech/debate, so how on earth he can't talk to his girlfriend?
> 
> Anyone with similar stories/trials?


I wish I had good problem solving advise to give you but I just don't, my son is the same way. When in high school his girlfriend came over crying to my wife (now ex) that she didn't think our son loved her because he didn't talk, and she was going to break up with him. It turned into a big drama fiasco between my son and his mom because she kept pushing and pushing him, she wanted a million details and he just wanted for her to stay out of it. So I asked my son, "what's going on with you and katie?" son says "I never really liked her that much", I say "OK". That's guy talk, those million details a woman needs to hear were all summed up in "I never really liked her that much".

My point is maybe your son does communicate in his own way, maybe you just haven't figured out how to listen. 

Here's is one nugget of advise I will give you, stay out of the kids personal life unless they come to you to talk. My kids are 26 (daughter) and 23(son), both are semi estranged from their mom because she doesn't respect boundaries. I know the girl came to you crying and looking for a sympathetic ear, but that should have been the end of it. Not sure how you found out from others that she had been to Mexico unless you did some prying. What you should have did was say "son, ex girlfriend stopped over today very upset that you had broken up with her, she doesn't really understand why, let me know if there's anything I can do to help or if you want to talk" Give him a hug and ask if he's OK, if he says "yup" then let it go.


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## lalahlove

sokillme said:


> I have identified your problem for you. Is it any surprise that a young man whose Mother posts on a message boy calling him a stupid boy has some trouble talking about his feelings?
> 
> Your completely dismissive of him. I wonder if he has learned not to bother because of this. Guys are to dumb to talk about their feelings as we know. /s


THIS!!! My sentiments exactly. The "stupid" reference answered everything for me. Being an adult "child" of parents who always seem baffled that my siblings and I don't let them "in" anymore than we do...I can tell you right off the bat: NOTHING is more frustrating and demeaning than your dismissive approach to your child and how that causes you to invalidate his feelings/needs/opinions/hurts/emotions/etc. Even if you don't call him "stupid" to his face, the fact that you think of him that way will inevitably come across in how you relate to him.

His refusal to communicate is probably a coping mechanism that he has learned to protect himself. And given your choice of descriptors, it is WELL justified.

Sorry if that's harsh, but this one strikes a familiar nerve for me...


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## bandit.45

brooklynAnn said:


> You think I am judging him?
> 
> I thought I was just trying to understand him. It's kinda hard to listen to him when he does not speak.:smile2:
> 
> I totally understand that maybe she is not the one for him. And he has ever right to keep his feeling to himself. I just don't want him to become one of those men who can't communicate.


In your initial post you called your son stupid. 


Stupid....

Idiot.....


And you wonder why he has a hard time communicating with you and other females? He knows you see him this way, so he takes his feelings to peers....who do not think he is stupid.

This girlfriend that you hold in so high esteem has crap for boundaries. He knows it and he did the healthy, wise thing by showing her the door. You should be supporting him and lauding him for his smart and very mature handling of the situation.


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## bandit.45

phillybeffandswiss said:


> LOL, wrong TAM forum logic, this isn't CWI. They aren't married and they are High School teens. TAM logic, in this case, is they are too young to be serious and he needs to make mistakes.


But he didn't make a mistake. I'd say the kid is quite savvy. He saw her little trip to Mexico as a slap in the face, and I don't blame him.


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## heartsbeating

bandit.45 said:


> In your initial post you called your son stupid.
> 
> 
> Stupid....
> 
> Idiot.....
> 
> 
> And you wonder why he has a hard time communicating with you and other females? He knows you see him this way, so he takes his feelings to peers....who do not think he is stupid.
> 
> This girlfriend that you hold in so high esteem has crap for boundaries. He knows it and he did the healthy, wise thing by showing her the door. You should be supporting him and lauding him for his smart and very mature handling of the situation.


Words of wisdom.

Read and re-read... particularly about him knowing you see him this way.


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## chillymorn69

I have learned a long time ago that opening up to a women just dosen't work at least with all the women in my life.......mother sister girlfriend and wives. They don't really hear what I'm saying and put words in my mouth and try to read between the lines and the vast majority of the time they will use it against you when ever they can twist what you say to fit their logic instead of listening and taking what I am saying at face value.

hun does my ass look fat in these jeans

no you look great come over hear and show you bare ass you sexy thing.

your just saying that because your my husband.




hey hun I really wish we could spice up our sex life 

what you don't like the way I make love!!!!


so its a lose lose situation when dealing with someone who rearranges what your trying to communicate and then throws it in your face and acts all bothered and pissed because we tried to communicate with them. 




I was appalled by your reference to your son as stupid. wow just because he wants to decide who he likes In your mind that makes him stupid. 


did this girl tell your son she met an old boyfriend in mexico? or did she keep it quiet if she kept it quiet then she is devious. hope she learned her lesson.

maybe there were other things your son didn't like about her maybe shes a prude and won't take care of his needs or their sexual style don't match up and after her trip to mexico he just figured F this shes not for me.


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## bandit.45

Cheaters start young. I had two high school girlfriends two-time me. I did what the OP's son did and broke up with both of them pronto. Never spoke to them again. 

Sure enough, one of them got married years later and ended up driving her marriage into the ground with serial cheating. 

Don't punish your son for having self-respect.


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## EllisRedding

So I have been giving this topic some thought. I think most people here hit my thoughts. I think part of the issue (as mentioned already), the OP has referred to her son as stupid and an idiot. Now, I would hope the OP hasn't actually called her son this to his face (and I do understand some of this is just venting online), but don't be surprised if just through conversation he has gotten that impression she feels this way about him. Right there that is a big negative.

According to the opening post, the OP called her son a "stupid boy" to his ex. So you not only are actually calling him stupid in person to someone, but now it appears that you decided to take the side of his ex. Another huge negative here (if I was your son, regardless of whether I was right or wrong, I would hope you would ultimately have my back, which in this case it doesn't appear so). Also, what happens if the son talks to his ex and she says the OP referred to him as a stupid boy? 

I think the bigger issue, it is clear the OP has some sort of bias against men (young?). Just look at these quotes:



> I just don't want him to become one of those men who can't communicate.





> I think it's young men. The girls are still taking. And the boys are still internalizing everything and can't express themselves. This is his second relationship. *The first one broke up with him because he needed to speak more and he would not talk that much to her. So, she end things. Now here we are agAIN.*


So just because two people (or I guess how you view it men/women) communicate differently, you view communication done differently then how the females do as an inability to communicate :scratchhead: Who says these girls are talking? Who says their way of communication is any better? I may actually start a separate thread on this topic b/c it is an interesting discussion.

I bolded part of the quote above, b/c once again, it appears you are taking the side of his first GF (i.e. it was all his fault, he needed to talk more and didn't). 

Not trying to bash you at all @brooklynAnn . However, I think taking the approach where your son has to communicate like a female, or taking the female side of things over him, I can guarantee you that he has sensed this, and will only push him further away from openly communicating with you.


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## phillybeffandswiss

bandit.45 said:


> But he didn't make a mistake.


Let's try this one more time. 

TAM logic, in this forum is to say kids make mistakes and not go immediately to cheating. The mistake I am talking about is blaming CWI TAM logic for something in the parenting forum. He may or may not have made a mistake, neither you, nor I nor his mom know anything and we are all just guessing. She thinks it is a mistake so, I'm not going to argue her conclusion or your "...but..but he's savvy" comment. He's a teen, therefore let him make mistakes and learn form them unless they are going to SERIOUSLY impede or damage his life. Breaking up with a girl your mom likes isn't in my top ten of life altering or damaging events. Taking her side is bad and will affect their relationship.


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## xxxSHxYZxxx

brooklynAnn said:


> I just got a surprised visit from my son's girlfriend or such I say ex-girlfriend. She took the day off from school to come see me because my idiot of a son broke up with her. I asked her what happen and she said she does not know. He would not talk to her. She heard from some friends that he was talking about breaking up with her. So, she asked why and he said it was complicated and did not want to talk about it. WTF?
> 
> So, she was crying and ask me if I knew anything. I said no but he was just a stupid boy, who can't express his feelings well. So, after having a long talk with her and trying to reassure her that she will be ok, I found out she went to Mexico and saw an old friend there. So, I think someone of those foolish kids told my son that she saw a boy there and now he thinks that she cheated. The old friend was never a boyfriend, just someone who knows her family. So, my son and his friends decided she cheated and they all stop speaking to her.
> 
> Young people drama.
> 
> Last night, I gave my son a bottle of perfume for her because I did not like it and thought she might like it. My son told me that I should stop giving her stuff and not to get too close to her. Not realizing he was already broken up with her. I asked if everything was alright and he said mum, you don't need to know everything about me.
> 
> I am trying to get him to learn to talk but nothing is working with this boy.
> 
> She is such a nice girl and I really liked her. My son is a good kid, with no problems expect his addiction to his Xbox. He is involued in a lot of sports and is involved in youth development and leadership. So, he is always busy and is only home on Sundays. He has taken classes on communication and he does speech/debate, so how on earth he can't talk to his girlfriend?
> 
> Anyone with similar stories/trials?


Sounds to me like you're too involved in your son's relationship. 

I remember getting dumped by girls for the exact same reasons your son gave so it's not just boys 


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## 2&out

Kudos to you brooklynAnn for not raising some panzyass Nancy who thinks he needs to alter his wants and ways to please a girl - and explain himself.


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