# Do you watch when getting a bj?



## BecauseICan

I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?


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## Randy2

I watch, but the position she likes means that she doesn't see me watching.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

I would love to watch. Wife's not into giving oral, so ther's not much for me to watch. But given the opportunity, I'd surely be checking out the action.

Your honest enthusiasm for the act makes your husband a lucky man. Maybe he's embarrassed or feels guilty. Does he know you actually enjoy giving and that it's not strictly a one way activity between the two of you?


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## farsidejunky

Hell yes I do.

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## MattMatt

BecauseICan said:


> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?


Because a previous partner told him not to, perhaps?

Only he can answer your question, I suspect.


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## Mr. Nail

Randy2 said:


> I watch, but the position she likes means that she doesn't see me watching.


That one. At least lately. I'm in favor of her comfort as it encourages longer participation. Just because I'm looking at the back of her head doesn't mean I'm ignoring her. She likes me to push her down, which is somewhat against my submissive personality, but she rewards me so well for doing it, Hey I can be flexible (figuratively)


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Randy2 said:


> I watch, but the position she likes means that she doesn't see me watching.


A well positioned mirror can facilitate a lot here.


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## Girl_power

To each their own I suppose. I don’t like making eye contact because it distracts me and throws me off lol.


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## CharlieParker

Watching, doesn’t necessarily mean I contact, is half the fun.


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## oldshirt

Oh man, there are very few things I like watching more in this world than a woman with a real taste for oral (pun intended LOL) working her magic! My wife is always on the same side of the bed and is left handed so I often have to twirl myself around in bed so I can watch her and not just be looking at the back of her head. 

It's not something I could ever seen myself looking away or taking my eyes off of it. 

The only reason I could think of why someone would turn away was if they were really self-conscious and didn't like to be watched themselves.


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## 269370

BecauseICan said:


> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?



Maybe he didn’t want to scare you away? Like a deer? 
I always watch when wife gives someone a bj. It’s simple manners. No, sorry, that was a dream.


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## BecauseICan

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I would love to watch. Wife's not into giving oral, so ther's not much for me to watch. But given the opportunity, I'd surely be checking out the action.
> 
> Your honest enthusiasm for the act makes your husband a lucky man. Maybe he's embarrassed or feels guilty. Does he know you actually enjoy giving and that it's not strictly a one way activity between the two of you?


Oh he knows. Knows and appreciates 😉


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## BecauseICan

MattMatt said:


> BecauseICan said:
> 
> 
> 
> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?
> 
> 
> 
> Because a previous partner told him not to, perhaps?
> 
> Only he can answer your question, I suspect.
Click to expand...

Now why would a woman go mess stuff up like that? Maybe next time I'll just tell him to watch.


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## BecauseICan

Girl_power said:


> To each their own I suppose. I don’t like making eye contact because it distracts me and throws me off lol.


I don't care about eye contact. It just excites me to know I'm being watched.


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## BecauseICan

oldshirt said:


> The only reason I could think of why someone would turn away was if they were really self-conscious and didn't like to be watched themselves.


Self conscious is in no way how I would describe this guy. Not cocky but definitely sure of himself.


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## just got it 55

BecauseICan said:


> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?


You want a real turn on ???

Get a large hand held mirror and hold it where you both can watch

It's like your very own live porno

55


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## sunsetmist

Repeat after me, " It excites me when you watch some when I give you a blowjob. Makes me want to do it often." 

Make sure when you make eye contact it is appropriately sexy.


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## MaiChi

I thought I was the only one who likes to be watched. 
So there are a few of us? Thanks. I do not like simultaneous oral. One at a time for me is better. That way I do not panic or worry about his safety.


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## 247769

Absolutely

Sent from my moto z3 using Tapatalk


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## BioFury

inmyprime said:


> Maybe he didn’t want to scare you away? Like a deer?
> I always watch when wife gives someone a bj. It’s simple manners. No, sorry, that was a dream.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Someone? :surprise:


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## ConanHub

Bad memory? Was he ever abused as a child?

I like to watch when she is on her knees while I standing.

If I'm laying down, I just like to close my eyes most of the time.


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## Mr.Married

It would be easy to tell him that you like being watched. I'm sure he would very much enjoy you letting him know that.

I'm like ConanHub in that I like to watch when I'm standing and she is kneeling. Maybe it's a dominance thing .... never really gave it much thought.

Otherwise it's mostly eyes closed with a look now and then to make sure she looks like she is still comfortable. If she looks like she is struggling I'll stop

her.


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## Spicy

I think some don’t look because they will immediately blow their load.


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## Ynot

OP, did he look away or did his eyes just roll back into his head? I like to watch when I am getting a BJ, it turns me on when a woman is actively and eagerly taking me, those little moans she gives when she gets a taste of precum or when I shove her head down. I especially like a woman that finishes and swallows. I do the same for her or more likely already have.


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## Ynot

I also think many women like to watch themselves. That is why I have a mirrored head board.


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## Randy2

Mirrors? Not likely. For absolutely NO PHYSICAL reason as she is beautiful, my wife is self-conscious. We make plenty of eye contact while dancing, while missionarying, and I'm always looking up at her while going down on her. And she enjoys watching my **** during intercourse. But she has not yet been willing to talk about or explore the NON PHYSICAL reasons for her self-consciousness.


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## EllisRedding

It is hard to watch both my W and the TV ....


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## Mr.Married

EllisRedding said:


> It is hard to watch both my W and the TV ....


It would be really cool if what was on TV was .... your wife giving you the BJ !!


Alexa: Order video camera and tripod !


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## EllisRedding

Mr.Married said:


> It would be really cool if what was on TV was .... your wife giving you the BJ !!
> 
> 
> Alexa: Order video camera and tripod !


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## 269370

EllisRedding said:


>



The newer phones have the 240fps option....just saying.


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## 269370

EllisRedding said:


> It is hard to watch both my W and the TV ....



At least be grateful it’s hard


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## CharlieParker

EllisRedding said:


> It is hard to watch both my W and the TV ....


I read about a prototype Google Glass app, it let you watch your phone's video feed in real time. The idea was to allow you to perform in your own homemade porn while simultaneously watching it.


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## Mr.Married

inmyprime said:


> The newer phones have the 240fps option....just saying.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I think it's called mid-streaming capture


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## gr8ful1

My wife seems to prefer that I don’t watch. She pushes me to fully lie on my back. If I lean up to look at her she does not look at me. I’ve always wanted that eye contact but, yes, I know, I should just be happy she does it at all. The eye contact for me makes it intimate. Without it, it’s just physical stimulation.


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## WorkingWife

BecauseICan said:


> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?


He probably feels like he's making you uncomfortable if you see him watching. I'd explain to him that what you're doing is ART (performance art!) and it needs to be seen as well as felt to be fully appreciated. ;-)


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## EllisRedding

gr8ful1 said:


> My wife seems to prefer that I don’t watch. She pushes me to fully lie on my back. If I lean up to look at her she does not look at me. I’ve always wanted that eye contact but, yes, I know, I should just be happy she does it at all. The eye contact for me makes it intimate. Without it, it’s just physical stimulation.


You could probably just put two of those stick on googly eyes on the top of her head so it looks like she is looking at you :grin2:


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## arbitrator

*Provided that I'm prone in bed, if she is "humming" directly in front of me, Yes, I absolutely love to watch! I've also noticed that most gals like to watch whenever you're busy performing on them!

My RSXW, FWIW, preferred to make use of my belly to lay her head on, but I couldn't really see anything but the back of a bobbing head, thus relegating me to just lay back, feel, and fantasize! 

So in the immortal words of Chauncey Gardner from the 1980 movie, Being There, "I like to watch!"*


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## cheapie

Interesting...I've never thought to check if my husband is watching. Probably because I'm too busy enjoying thinking up what my next move is going to be. (Did I mention I really, really like giving blow jobs?):wink2:


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## uhtred

Its odd. Years ago my wife didn't like doing that and would do one only every few years and she seemed offended if I watched. Later they became a fairly common part of our (still rare) lovemaking and she seems happy with me watching.

I think long ago she had the idea that giving BJs was "degrading", but eventually changed her mind. 

She doesn't seem to watch when I'm doing things for her.


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## Yeswecan

BecauseICan said:


> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?


I watch like a hawk. W likes when watch. :grin2:


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## arbitrator

EllisRedding said:


> It is hard to watch both my W and the TV ....


*It's hard whether I'm watching TV or not!

But I can certainly alternate!*


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## EllisRedding

arbitrator said:


> *It's hard whether I'm watching TV or not!
> 
> But I can certainly alternate!*


So you don't mind if he isn't watching you???


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## Volunteer86

Absolutely!!!!!! I love it and so does she!


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## arbitrator

EllisRedding said:


> *So you don't mind if (s)he isn't watching you???*


*Absolutely nothing remotely wrong with watching her perform a mind-blowing hummer on yours truly, with me then periodically checking the latest scores over on ESPN!

But all too briefly!!*


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## JustTheWife

I've had guys make me look into their eyes when i did it to them. I'm more comfortable not looking at them when doing that but I went along with it if that's what they wanted me to do.


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## WestCoastBeachBoy

For most, BJs end after marriage.


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## EllisRedding

WestCoastBeachBoy said:


> For most, BJs end after marriage.


This doesn't apply to me, but I will say that for the most part, a large majority of the guys I know confirm this to be true in their marriage. So the question is, why is this for what appears to be most???


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Most definitely. 

Kind of a point to me. Not the only key component but tied with top three.

I've shared with dear W same. She's on board.


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## WestCoastBeachBoy

EllisRedding said:


> This doesn't apply to me, but I will say that for the most part, a large majority of the guys I know confirm this to be true in their marriage. So the question is, why is this for what appears to be most???


Before getting married I thought is was a myth. 
Me and all the boys got head all the time from women we met. 


Blows seemed very normal. 

A few guy managed to keep it up after getting married, while vast majority have not had a blow in years and will die w/o another one. 

It's life


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## aine

WestCoastBeachBoy said:


> Before getting married I thought is was a myth.
> Me and all the boys got head all the time from women we met.
> 
> 
> Blows seemed very normal.
> 
> A few guy managed to keep it up after getting married, while vast majority have not had a blow in years and will die w/o another one.
> 
> It's life


I'm afraid it works both ways. My H was very fond of dining at the Y for years until the last few years. He gets BJs irregularly, he doesn't reciprocate so there is no motivation for me.


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## EllisRedding

aine said:


> I'm afraid it works both ways. My H was very fond of dining at the Y for years until the last few years. He gets BJs irregularly, he doesn't reciprocate so there is no motivation for me.


It does seem like BJs are the first thing that goes. Almost as if for some/many women it isn't something they particularly enjoy but are willing to do early on in the relationship? IDK, if things are going well in the sex life department with my W, this is not an issue. It does seem like a common complaint though among men.


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## farsidejunky

aine said:


> I'm afraid it works both ways. My H was very fond of dining at the Y for years until the last few years. He gets BJs irregularly, he doesn't reciprocate so there is no motivation for me.


I have never heard the term "dining at the Y" until this...I'm rolling!

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## EllisRedding

farsidejunky said:


> I have never heard the term "dining at the Y" until this...I'm rolling!
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


lol, y ou know something far, all along thought @aine was literally talking about dining at the Y (i.e. going out to eat at the YMCA). I thought it was a little odd that the tradeoff for not eating at the Y was no BJs lol


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

"We're Goin' Down" lyrics
Blackfoot Lyrics
"We're Goin' Down"

Feelin' low down and I'm drug out
I'm feelin' hungry again
I need a taste of your sweet lovin'
I don't think it's a sin
I don't need alot of lovin'
I don't need alot of time
I don't need much to speak of
Let me love you, won't you be mine
It's getting harder by the minute
I been away too long
It's after hours, you've got the power
To keep me comin' on strong
I don't need alot of lovin'
I don't need alot of time
I don't need much to speak of
Let me love you, won't you be mine
We're going down
We're going down, *to dine at the Y*
We're going down, we're going down
Yeah, did you like it?, you didn't fight it
I know it wasn't a sin
You got the power, it's after hours
I think I'm hungry again
I don't need alot of lovin'
I don't need alot of time
I don't need much to speak of
Let me love you, won't you be mine
We're going down
We're going down, to dine at the Y
We're going down, we're going down
We're going down
We're going down, to dine at the Y
We're going down, we're going down
We're going down, we're going down
We're going down, we're going down


Writer(s): JAKSON W SPIRES, RICK MEDLOCKE 

album: "Siogo" (1983)


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## CharlieParker

I started a thread about songs related to bjs and daty, the aural sex thread. 

We have more oral, both ways, now than 20+ years ago, sigh, but it’s because PiV is no longer as reliable as 20+ years ago.


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## aine

LOL, seriously @EllisRedding?


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## EllisRedding

aine said:


> LOL, seriously @EllisRedding?


Yes, completely serious lol. I mean, I know the local YMCAs can be nice, but I didn't want to judge someone for going to eat there . All along I was thinking "Dammit man, take your wife to eat at the Y so you can get a BJ" :grin2:


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## arbitrator

And *With severe limitations, dining down at the "Y" can preeminently be, the most redeeming, exhilarating experience in the entire world!

I highly recommend it! Makes me want to lick my eyebrows and then back behind my ears!*


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## EllisRedding

Whenever there is a problem, there is always a solution right around the corner...


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## StillSearching

WestCoastBeachBoy said:


> For most, BJs end after marriage.


For most, where oral sex was never discussed before the wedding, BJs end after marriage.
FIXT


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## StillSearching

Oh yeah for me....
ABSO"fricking"LUTLY


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## jlg07

OMG -- that bottom right picture is just CREEPY!!! I'm sure the woman rather you NOT look at her rather than it look like that!!!


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## arbitrator

EllisRedding said:


> Whenever there is a problem, there is always a solution right around the corner...


*I'm OK with the photo on the left ~ but the one over on the right would absolutely creep me out!*


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## Thound

What's a blow job?


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## EllisRedding

Thound said:


> What's a blow job?


*blowjob *

When a mobster orders you to plant explosives to a gangsters property in an act of revenge. If the bastard is a traitor,thieve or rat then give him a blowjob. You can blowjob a car, a house or somebody's wife.

Big Vennie:" Hey Frankie, that bastard Luigi boy owes me $20,000 in cocaine. Go to his place at night when he is in bed and give his ferrari a blowjob!

Frankie: "Alright boss." (plants explosives, then bang!)

Luigi boy: " mamma mia!"


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## EllisRedding

arbitrator said:


> *I'm OK with the photo on the left ~ but the one over on the right would absolutely creep me out!*


Well, don't look up ...


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## Rocinante67

I watch. 

I wrap her hair in my hand and sometimes control the action.

I talk to her, give her direction, including, "look at me."

Yeah, I "watch."


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## Satisfied Mind

Definitely, unless it's road head.

Safety first.


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## Betrayedone

Heck yea......As good as any movie on TV.........


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## TheDudeLebowski

BecauseICan said:


> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?


Man I don't know. But I'll tell you this, if things don't work out between my wife and myself, I'll need to know the factory that pumps out your make and model. Shoot, for my son's sake, I'll make a donation right now. So, who is your maker? What bible to I need to start reading exactly?


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## Dave25

BecauseICan said:


> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?


I always watch when my wife goes down on me, which is frequently. I enjoy seeing her mouth, her face, and the rest of her body. I'll also talk to her, and tell her what to do while she is pleasuring me. She reacts very enthusiastically to that. Maybe your guy doesn't want you to see him watching because he's kind of ashamed of doing it. You could always ask him why. You can also tell him that you like when he watches you. 

Dave


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## arbitrator

Satisfied Mind said:


> Definitely, unless it's road head.
> 
> Safety first.


*Then proper etiquette would dictate that you immediately pull over to the side of the road!

So that not only you can watch all of the action, but so can the envious State Trooper!*


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## Young at Heart

BecauseICan said:


> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. *I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched.* He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. *Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?*


You are a very good lover. It probably overwhelms his intimacy comfort level.

One of the topics in several of David Schnarch's books is an exercise called eyes open orgasm. In his book Intimacy and Desire he advises eyes open orgasm and oral sex as a way of bonding and building sexual desire between a committed couple.

Pre and Post coital looking in each others eyes while one or both are smiling is a way to emotionally bond with a lover. That emotional bonding increases both sexual desire and intimacy.

At the moment of orgasm most people, per Schnarch, feel very vulnerable and have a have a hard time maintaining eye contact. For my wife, she needs to get into a zen like mental state where she just has nothing on her mind if she is to orgasm. Either way, it is hard for most to maintain eye contact during orgasm, which is why Schnarch suggests it as an important couples exercise.

One of the things that is slightly related is after care following an intense sexual experience. After care can aid in bonding. It can also aid one or both partners with slowly returning to reality from an intense sexual experience. It often involves making one feel safe, making one feel not ashamed of what they did, and it can involve expressing thanks or pride in their performance.

Perhaps, you might want to tell your guy, that eyes open orgasms are a way to increase intimacy and to bond. Then try a little post coital (or BJ) snuggling where you look into his eyes while smiling at him. Even if he closes his eyes, he will know you are smiling at him. If you run your hands through the hair on his head or give him a gentle kiss while smiling, he will understand how much he is loved and cherished.

Good luck.

P.S. While my wife hasn't given me a BJ ever and I have given up ever expecting one from her, we have done some of Schnarch's exercises and worked with a sex therapist.


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## Tilted 1

EllisRedding said:


> Whenever there is a problem, there is always a solution right around the corner...


LOL I CANNOT STOP!!!!!!!! Damn phone is shaking so much it took 5 minutes to post.


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## Yeswecan

BecauseICan said:


> I always wished my guy would watch when I give him oral. I love doing it and get a thrill from being watched. He never did until recently. Once I looked up and saw him watching but he immediately looked away. Why wouldn't he want me to see him watching?


I watch. I'm visual. I love the visuals. :grin2:


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Man I don't know. But I'll tell you this, if things don't work out between my wife and myself, I'll need to know the factory that pumps out your make and model. Shoot, for my son's sake, I'll make a donation right now. So, who is your maker? What bible to I need to start reading exactly?


I doubt it's a factory. More like a job shop. Strictly low volume. Custom orders only. Capacity already at max. Long waiting list to get into the queue.


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## Always Learning

I used to, I havent seen one in a long, long time though!


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Always Learning said:


> I used to, I havent seen one in a long, long time though!


"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" 
- Alfred Lord Tennyson


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## arbitrator

Always Learning said:


> I used to, I havent seen one in a long, long time though!


*Same here! 

Except that with my limited vision, I'd probably have to take their word for what it was that they were doing to me!*


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## Stormguy2018

My wife will never look at me during oral, give or receive. It's really takes away the emotion.


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## gr8ful1

My wife absolutely prefers that I don’t watch. Pushes me on my back so I don’t really see her. Kinda sad since it removes the emotional connection and makes it strictly a physical act (yes I’ve shared this with her). Not complaining since she does this willingly


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## Tilted 1

I'm such a good , everytime l touch this thread l shake LOL.. I can't help myself!


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