# Online Serial Dating



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

I've been on ******* & POF the last few weeks and I find that it's pretty much the same folks on both sites. Though the profile content may be slightly different.

However, I've been on a few dates but though I feel like I shouldn't have to go on 50 dates with 50 different women to find GF material it seems like that's exactly what I should be doing. Now I'm not a fan of being another item in a shopping catalog (since it appears people treat online dating as such) and I originally approached it this way by not "serial dating". It seems however that the women I've encountered are REALLY playing the field. Especially coming from one experience that alluded to another guy she was interested in (while on a date with me by the way...though she had the gumption to text me later inquiring why I dind't express follow up interest).

Has anyone notices this "shopping catalog" trend?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I'm not sure what you mean by catalog shopping.
There's only so many hours in the day and only so many days in the week. One date may take up nearly 50% of all the free social time in an adult's life, so it's reasonable to use the online venue to try to maximize the quality of that time. It's also reasonable for someone not to take the first viable partner who turns up and commit to exclusive dating too soon, for the same reason. What's the hurry? For me, online dating is a way to keep meeting new and random people I might have a lot in common with but I wouldn't run into in my day to day life, while continuing to mainly be on the lookout for someone in my day to day life. I diversify: online dating (which I took a break from), going to new places locally and also meetup, volunteering sometimes, networking (both online and in person) and traveling. Going to an online dating site is a lot like popping into a local pub or hobby club or church, there's bound to be a lot of people who were there before, who are still there. 

With catalog shopping one would assume there is a need to be filled, and a selection will finally be made that balances off quality with availability and cost. But with dating, it's not like that. There may be a lot of window shopping, or taking things on a trial run but leaving the tags still on and returning it respectfully to the shop, or just saying very nice but not for me. 

It's a different mindset, for sure. For me, online is like catalog shopping in that I can eliminate people who have photos with their big energy-sucking homes or vehicles or recreational vehicles, photos in places I'm not comfortable in with people I'm not comfortable with, or photos with them holding a drink and sitting in back of a huge plate of steak or something like that, equating the good life with overindulgence. Also photos with their kids at Disneyworld or on a cruise ship. No thank you. But it is catalog shopping, for sure, and beats all the Q&A you'd have to do in a real-life encounter.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

As we were discussing on that other thread, it is best to assume (especially in online dating) that everyone is multi-dating.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Also, I'm not sure it's the same in every city, but around here ******* and POF are pretty much known as being hookup sites. Not really likely to find a long-term GF/BF when you're not playing the field where those people are.


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

COGypsy said:


> Also, I'm not sure it's the same in every city, but around here ******* and POF are pretty much known as being hookup sites. Not really likely to find a long-term GF/BF when you're not playing the field where those people are.


You know it's very interesting you say that because I've found that the women I've met from POF are fairly quick on the hookup. OKC however has been dicey....more "eat your cake and having it types there...RE: arrogant date from a few weeks ago on a separate post.

Maybe we're in the same area (I'm in Connecticut but again it's New England....and we know all about the New England approach to dating...and everything else).:lol:


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Nope, I'm in Colorado. But between the intel from my single friends and from my own experiences after I left my ex, I can tell you that I found POF to be slightly higher class than Craigslist on the cruising for hookup factor. Slightly. ******* as far as I could tell was college kids in their mothers' basements and married guys. Pretty slim pickings on both sites.


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Craigslist just creeps me out! Makes me think of the bald headed guy that drives a white van with no windows lurking in a middle school parking lot.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Yeah don't bother with CL.

It is true though that there is just a slightly higher caliber of daters on Match and other non-free sites.

POF and ******* will always have the most people because they are free sites, but that doesn't mean they will have the most quality.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Ha ha! That's why I think guys should ALWAYS take pictures with their cars on their profile--makes a good creeper alert!

:rofl:


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Online dating is what it is. The people that go in with a good attitude and a thick skin seem to be successful with it but it isn't for everyone. You need a sense of humor, a sense of adventure and mostly to be in a good place emotionally if post divorce. If you are not any or all of those things then you will get eaten alive online.

Sure it is a meat market but so is real life, online just adds a new dimension and can be a huge amount of fun. BTW I had a blast online dating and never intended to get into a serious relationship but that is exactly what happened.
At the time Mr H and I met online I was multi dating, had a FWB and was living life. Neither of us were looking for a relationship.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Aston, there aren't any clubs, meetups, networking groups in our area?

My fiance said that when a friend turned him on to meetup he cancelled his OLD accounts.

I had stopped OLD as well. I was 50 when we met and he said he never would have put 50 in the search parameters........ unless he was looking for a quickie. (he's 10 years younger than I.) We met at a meetup.


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## Costa (Nov 24, 2012)

I met a guy on okc and was so in love with him. we dated for a year and a half, and then he started turning "odd". Less calls, less texts, less meets. My instinct told me to go check on okc, so i set up an empty profile just to spy, and lo and behold - there he was, and looking for a long-term relationship. Since my marriage ended the same way (ex-husband addicted to online dating), i came to the conclusion online dating sites are full of cheats and scums. Of course there are the genuine and lucky ones but its really hard to find the diamond among the stones.


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## someone90 (May 31, 2013)

I think if you're looking for marriage material POF is possibly the worst place to go. I used to have a profile on there but found nobody interesting.
I actually met my wife on eharmony.


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> Aston, there aren't any clubs, meetups, networking groups in our area?
> 
> My fiance said that when a friend turned him on to meetup he cancelled his OLD accounts.
> 
> I had stopped OLD as well. I was 50 when we met and he said he never would have put 50 in the search parameters........ unless he was looking for a quickie. (he's 10 years younger than I.) We met at a meetup.



I used to be on meetup (mountain biking, soccer), maybe I should hit it up again . The online dating thing quite frankly feels like a roll call. Same faces on all the sites and the result is usually the same.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

When it comes to online dating, you get what you pay for.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

aston said:


> I've been on ******* & POF the last few weeks and I find that it's pretty much the same folks on both sites. Though the profile content may be slightly different.
> 
> However, I've been on a few dates but though I feel like I shouldn't have to go on 50 dates with 50 different women to find GF material it seems like that's exactly what I should be doing.


Free sites see a lot of overlap in membership, and many who are on pay sites also use free sites. They all work a little differently, so you may get noticed by some different people on one versus another. It's more work, but overall worth the effort.

What do you expect from dating? I had to go on dates with 50 different women to find 4 or 5 worth dating longer (after emailing with literally hundreds that never got as far as a date). People are selective, and should be - if anything, they're not selective enough, IMO, and many don't know how to make a good choice.


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