# How do you seduce your man?



## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

How do you keep your sexual life alive in your many-year marriage? Things get old and not exciting anymore. In general, I feel most husbands, either lack of ideas to spice up the sexual life, or unwilling to tell their wives what they can do to make their sexual life great. Many husbands have a stubborn concept that it kills fun if they must to tell the wives what to do, so they refuse to make efforts but forever waiting for the wife to give them a surprise every now and then.
My new thought is since men have such weird ego issue, so I must come up a surprise for my husband. My new idea is prepare for a candlelight dinner and I will dress up nicely without panties. Then my husband is free to go under the table with a torch light to explore and have a peek.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> In general, I feel most husbands, either lack of ideas to spice up the sexual life, or unwilling to tell their wives what they can do to make their sexual life great. *Many husbands have a stubborn concept that it kills fun if they must to tell the wives what to do, so they refuse to make efforts but forever waiting for the wife to give them a surprise every now and then.*


 Oh so it's not just me? That's good lol now I don't feel so alone heh

We have to play the same game too you know! Well, most men anyway I think. Nowadays for me it's just routine, no fun, just get used up and ballsacs emptied then I can go do my business finally.



> My new thought is since men have such weird ego issue, so I must come up a surprise for my husband. My new idea is prepare for a candlelight dinner and I will dress up nicely without panties. Then my husband is free to go under the table with a torch light to explore and have a peek.


Glass table  No torch light, and just cross your legs to tease. But even this gets old you know heh.


----------



## Star (Dec 6, 2009)

I have an idea, have the candles on the table along with the wine, do the dressing up thing and you then get on the table and lay down on it with your bum and feet close to the edge, YOU are dinner, let him dine on you!! See what reaction you get to that, I’m sure it won’t be long before, well you know..................................


----------



## Crazytown (Sep 27, 2010)

I always am looking for ways to spice things up. My husband always brags about what a lucky man he is. We've been together off and on for over 12 years.

I dress up in different outfits (french maid etc), sometimes just panties and heels, once tried a whipped cream bikini (didn't work so well lol). Sometimes I will come downstairs like this and just surprise him in the living room (kids in bed). 

Also, we go together to a sex shop (boutique or whatever) and look at stuff. We bought a bondage kit and some new toys last time. 

Dirty talk is a big turn on for a lot of men as well. When I talk about my pu$$y and what he's doing to it in the bedroom that's all it takes.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Star said:


> I have an idea, have the candles on the table along with the wine, do the dressing up thing and you then get on the table and lay down on it with your bum and feet close to the edge, YOU are dinner, let him dine on you!! See what reaction you get to that, I’m sure it won’t be long before, well you know..................................


:smthumbup:

Nice


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

BTW MsLonely, we can give you advice and ideas here and there but in the end these ideas won't last. You have to make your own.

These ideas come naturally through the desire to play the game, not resenting it. The most important thing you should really take note as well from Star & Crazytown are these two statements:



> I’m sure it won’t be long before, well you know..................................





> that's all it takes.


 What's so special about these two quotes? They aren't ideas no, but these quotes show their confidence - and that itself leads the way.


----------



## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Various dress is a good idea to turn on my husband although I prefer naked.


----------



## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Star said:


> Sometimes it's good for him to have something to " unwrap" it adds to the build up I think
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree.

Men love to conquer by unwrapping everything that is put on woman's body. There're similar games. When he wins, the woman should be removed piece by piece of her clothing.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Women do look better with clothes on - with skin showing off at the right places. But that's just me, and men can't be so easily generalised you no! Some guys can turned on fast by a chick just getting nude jumping on the bed spreading her legs and going "F--k me! F--k me like blah blah blah" etc etc...


----------



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

The last time I tried to seduce my husband...

I was dressed as a cop, with a short black skirt (no panties), and a short blue top (no bra), along with a badge, hat and a pair of handcuffs.

I went to arrest him for bad behavior and you know what - he looked at me and said "what are you doing, then said I'm tired."

Well - that was like throwing cold water on a fire.

And people wonder why I'm so damn frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> The last time I tried to seduce my husband...
> 
> I was dressed as a cop, with a short black skirt (no panties), and a short blue top (no bra), along with a badge, hat and a pair of handcuffs.
> 
> ...


He is no fun!


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

When all else fails, use jealousy, works every-time at least for us.


----------



## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

My Husband never get's jealous- at least not outwardly. 
He admits to getting jealous over small things, but would never show me that part of him.
I however have a tendency to get jealous over nothing. We recently had a rather large dispute over some twiggy little 20 year old girl he works with telling me how my husband was her "faaaaaavorite".
UGH!
I told that little skank that he was already my favorite and she needed to find another "faaaavoraaite". 
Jealousy is a bad feeling in my opinion, I don't like being paranoid that my man might decide to switch up. 

I would never even try to make him jealous. I have a lot of male friends and coworkers. Some of which are attractive and successful, but
A. I wouldn't want to give my friends and coworkers the wrong idea 
B. I honestly hate feeling jealous myself, so I wouldn't want to do that to my husband either.


----------



## INguy (Dec 21, 2010)

My wife and I love dirty talk and sexting. They always work for me.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> My Husband never get's jealous- *at least not outwardly.*
> He admits to getting jealous over small things, but *would never show me that part of him.*


Me either 



> I however have a tendency to get jealous over nothing. We recently had a rather large dispute over some twiggy little 20 year old girl he works with telling me how my husband was her "faaaaaavorite".
> UGH!
> I told that little skank that he was already my favorite and she needed to find another "faaaavoraaite".
> Jealousy is a bad feeling in my opinion, I don't like being paranoid that my man might decide to switch up.


Some guys get off over this actually, it's embarrassing but flattering at the same time. Still remember years ago when my wife and I were just friends and my ex was so threatened and the crazy catfights :rofl:



> I would never even try to make him jealous. I have a lot of male friends and coworkers. Some of which are attractive and successful, but
> A. I wouldn't want to give my friends and coworkers the wrong idea
> B. I honestly hate feeling jealous myself, so I wouldn't want to do that to my husband either.


Yeah, I shouldn't have mentioned it, not one shoe fits all I guess. The way the missus does it, she keeps her bases covered, 'just being herself' my ass - which she is 'in a way'.


----------



## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

I think that to ensure your sex life is exciting you both need to want it...if you think about sex but your H doesn't then, the outcome cannot be good. That is one of the thing I had a long discussion with my wife, and I know is still not easy for her to bring herself to do...to think about sex and what and how she can bring something special to the bedroom....I told her that when you work in a marriage you cannot longer leave everything to chance or to being spontenous...it just doesn't work anymore....if you love your spouse and know she or he needs more in the sex departement then comprimise, talk about it, and agree that once a week, at least, the one that needs to make an effort, intentionally think about it and make sure that day is all about the other one....the way you want them, be ready for anything, make sure he/she will do something special for you...only then, you'll be able to live and be happy, knowing that within you possibilities, the man, woman you love so much, fulfill your needs to the best of their possibilities...if I have learned something from my wife, is that with time, they start enjoying themselves and just relax and give in to feel sexy, desired, and more...


----------



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> He is no fun!


Not right now he's not - guess I'm too afraid to ask why too - maybe I just don't "do it" for him anymore. 

Dunno...


----------



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> When all else fails, use jealousy, works every-time at least for us.


Problem is you have to make sure they care enuff first!


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> Not right now he's not - guess I'm too afraid to ask why too - maybe I just don't "do it" for him anymore.
> 
> Dunno...





MarriedWifeInLove said:


> Problem is you have to make sure they care enuff first!


Those two things tend to take care of itself when the missus does it to me however...

In regards to roleplay maybe it's just not his thing, or maybe just not 'in the mood' to get arrested, maybe he's even in the mood for some 'medical examination' or to 'prove his physical fitness to his superior officer'.

I don't know about your husband but for me come to think of it I do subconsciously just give off 'hints' from time to time.


----------



## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Those two things tend to take care of itself when the missus does it to me however...
> 
> In regards to roleplay maybe it's just not his thing, or maybe just not 'in the mood' to get arrested, maybe he's even in the mood for some 'medical examination' or to 'prove his physical fitness to his superior officer'.
> 
> I don't know about your husband but for me come to think of it I do subconsciously just give off 'hints' from time to time.


He LOVES roleplay, loves to be dominated and I like to dominate him when he's in the mood - problem is he's not in the mood enough for me right now. 

I just need to be patient and it's not one of my strongest virtues. I'm in the prime of my life sexually right now (or my body is saying so), and I feel just cut-off!

My vibrator is getting a workout, but I want my hubby to get the workout. Grrrrr.....


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I heard that women's prime is in the 30s yes? The missus hasn't even reached it yet, and I dread to think of how we can even fit more then 3-7x a day into our schedule (if we don't split within the next week or so of course)...

And sometimes we men ARE just tired, work, stress, other stuff plaguing our mind, just how it is. The missus never even bothered to give a s--t before - and I hated it, once she wants it she must get it and wraps her legs around me until she's satisfied and she's managed to cuff me a few times too and once I even had to train my body clock to wake up earlier then her so that I can even get to work.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> My Husband never get's jealous- at least not outwardly.


 And herein lies what you are craving from him. IF he showed a little outright "lusty possessive" jealousy towards you, you would feel more "secure" in his desire & affections. 

Big Bad Wolf talks about this many times in his posts -for men to DO THIS with their wives and if this is neglected, women often feel undesired/less feminine -which leads to our insecuritys in the relationship. These things should not be! His way of explaining is OUTSTANDING ! He has said " A woman, she is craving the attention and jealousy of her man. If he is unwilling or unable to communicate his jealousy, inside his woman she is missing this attention, and she will be looking to find attention elsewhere" 

It was a real eye opener for me to hear this SIDE of the word "Jealousy" and how TOO MUCH TRUST could be seen as apathy/boring, working against sexual desire. I know this sounds crazy, but seriously it is not ! .....So well explained - can read BBW's posts on this page -near the bottom in response to mine about "TRUST" http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/17010-modern-men-warning-long-28.html 



Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> He admits to getting jealous over small things, but would never show me that part of him..


But Oh if he did ! HIM showing his "jealousy" of your attention, even of your time, even in these little things, this could put you in the clouds. Revive something within that you may feel has been lost -from him. 



Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I however have a tendency to get jealous over nothing. We recently had a rather large dispute over some twiggy little 20 year old girl he works with telling me how my husband was her "faaaaaavorite".
> UGH!
> I told that little skank that he was already my favorite and she needed to find another "faaaavoraaite".
> Jealousy is a bad feeling in my opinion, I don't like being paranoid that my man might decide to switch up.


 Does he give you reason he wants to switch up -or is this pure paranoia on your part? Although it is normal -even healthy to feel "some" jealousy over his noticing other women/being friendly . But these reactions -calling this co-worker a skank -is this not born out of Fear & Insecurity -THIS kind of jealousy can DESTROY us & our relationships. 

Maybe this need not be at all !! Are you not at all flattered that other women find your husband attractive & interesting ? Remember he is with YOU -he chose YOU! If your husband is physically attractive & mentally engaging, you will not likely stop what other women say & think. 

Does your husband know you had this confrontation with this Co-worker? How did he feel about it? You don't want him to see you going off the deep end -over these things IF there is no reason to do so. 



Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I would never even try to make him jealous. I have a lot of male friends and coworkers. Some of which are attractive and successful, but
> A. I wouldn't want to give my friends and coworkers the wrong idea
> B. I honestly hate feeling jealous myself, so I wouldn't want to do that to my husband either.


Just something to think about here--- Often when a man feels others WANT/desire HIS woman, it rises something up within him - to want to take her , possess her, claim her as his own, even maybe get a little aggressive, it even has the power to AWAKEN him --it FEEDS his sexual attraction. Seriously, ask some men. It often works this way. You might want to reconsider using this -to your own advantage. Especially if he is toying with you -in this way. 

How did you learn of this co-workers words -did he tell you? Was he trying to get a reaction from you, I wonder. 

NOthing I am saying here has anything to do with cheating, or being unfaithful in any way, shape or form. Having male & female interactions with those outside our marraige is healthy (within certain boundaries of coarse), these things can even ENHANCE our Sexual desire & want towards our spouses at home. 

I LOVE when my friends give my husband compliments or I hear of a female saying something good about him, sexy compliments would even be more fun to hear. Always! a little jealousy may rise within but -it flatters ME also. I trust him with all that is in me, so there is NO threat. It is all good.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> I heard that women's prime is in the 30s yes? The missus hasn't even reached it yet, and I dread to think of how we can even fit more then 3-7x a day into our schedule (if we don't split within the next week or so of course)...


 My Lord, 3 - 7 times a day !!!! How is this possible when you 2 enjoy the silent treatment weeks at a time? Come on RandomDude, something is not adding up here.


----------



## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> And herein lies what you are craving from him. IF he showed a little outright "lusty possessive" jealousy towards you, you would feel more "secure" in his desire & affections.
> 
> Big Bad Wolf talks about many times on this forum -for men to DO THIS with theirs wives and when THIS is neglected, women often feel undesired/less feminine -which leads to our insecuritys in the relationship. These things should not be! His way of explaining is OUTSTANDING ! He has said " A woman, she is craving the attention and jealousy of her man. If he is unwilling or unable to communicate his jealousy, inside his woman she is missing this attention, and she will be looking to find attention elsewhere"
> 
> ...


:iagree:

I think that if he acted a little jealous it would do me a world of good. I personally never feel flirted with by anyone, though he claims it happens. I guess, I am just oblivious to it. I am a very friendly and out going woman. 

I also work with men in a predominantly manly industry (in fact I am the boss of most of the men I work with). I have always felt like "one of the guys". Lots of these men talk to me about their girlfriends or wives. Lot's of these men make sexual jokes to me about some of the other women we work with (not in my department.). It doesn't phase me. I know they like me, and I like feeling accepted by them in their little boy's club.
Just a few weeks ago- a Tour manager ( I work in the music business as a production manager) came on to me, and was very forward about it... "Hey, I am only in town one night, and I find you extremely attractive, you are pretty and smart and aren't afraid to speak your mind, let's grab a drink after the show and see where the night takes us...ect". 

I was flattered, though I politely declined and went on as if nothing happened.... but on the inside, it made me feel great. I am serious- no one ever flirts with me, or if they do, I am just dense and don't pick up on it at all.
I told my man about what happened, mostly because I felt I needed to be honest, and I was sorta proud of it, but also to see his reaction.... and he didn't seem phased a bit! He said something to the effect- "I tell you that stuff all the time, but you only seem impressed when a stranger mentions it".



SimplyAmorous said:


> Does he give you reason he wants to switch up -or is this pure paranoia on your part? Although it is normal -even healthy to feel "some" jealousy over his noticing other women/being friendly . But these reactions -calling this co-worker a skank -is this not born out of Fear & Insecurity -THIS kind of jealousy can DESTROY us & our relationships.


Well, there have been some instances in pour past that have given me pause. So - yes and no.
I won't get into the specifics here, but rest assured that I have some trust/abandonment issues tied up w/ my attractiveness and sexuality. This isn't really his problem anymore, but it is still mine, and I am working on it.
I know that this kind of jealousy is toxic. I know it makes me seem batsh!t crazy, too. Unreasonable and unattractive and insecure!
I hate it. I really wish I could control it better....but baby steps on that one. I am a work in progress.



SimplyAmorous said:


> Maybe this need not be at all !! Are you not at all flattered that other women find your husband attractive & interesting ? Remember he is with YOU -he chose YOU! If your husband is physically attractive & mentally engaging, you will not likely stop what other women say & think.
> 
> Does your husband know you had this confrontation with this Co-worker? How did he feel about it? You don't want him to see you going off the deep end -over these things IF there is no reason to do so.


I am actually not flattered a bit that other women think he is interesting and attractive. I mean when a friend or someone I know really well says "Oh you have a good man!" or " Your husband looks good these days" it doesn't bother me. I guess because I trust them?:scratchhead:

Strangers on the other hand, and their attention and compliments really upset me.
The girl at the gas station, some chick at the bar, this little CUNextTusesday that he works with ...make me crazy.

Yes, he knows what I told the little girl at his work. I have also been sorta rude to her on other occasions by just ignoring her presence, even when she comes up to say "Hi". 
I know! I know! I am awful and insecure and possessive. I really am trying to get better.



SimplyAmorous said:


> Just something to think about here--- Often when a man feels others WANT/desire HIS woman, it rises something up within him - to want to take her , possess her, claim her as his own, even maybe get a little aggressive, it even has the power to AWAKEN him --it FEEDS his sexual attraction. Seriously, ask some men. It often works this way. You might want to reconsider using this -to your own advantage. Especially if he is toying with you -in this way.


Maybe you are right. But I wouldn't want to hurt him, and I am afraid of losing my credibility with my male friends and coworkers.
I definitely see your point.



SimplyAmorous said:


> How did you learn of this co-workers words -did he tell you? Was he trying to get a reaction from you, I wonder.
> 
> Nothing I am saying here has anything to do with cheating, or being unfaithful in any way, shape or form. Having male & female interactions with those outside our marraige is healthy (within certain boundaries of coarse), these things can even EBHANCE our Sexual desire & want towards our spouses at home.
> 
> I LOVE when my friends give my husband compliments or I hear of a female saying something good about him, sexy compliments would even be more fun to hear. Always! a little jealousy may rise within but -it flatters ME also. I trust him with all that is in me, so there is NO threat. It is all good.



This little tart said that he was her "faaaaavoraite" to me upon introduction. I guess it wouldn't bother me so much if she wasn't so young and pretty. I don't think my husband liked the reaction I had, since I ended up being in a p!ssy mood the rest of the night because of it.

I get what you are saying, and I think it is a great idea if both members in the relationship are secure enough to handle it. Obviously, I am not equipped to handle it yet.
I can admit it. Again, I am really trying to get past it.

I heard lots of my lady coworkers talking to my husband at the xmas party- I counted 6 different compliments on his hair and 4 on his dress, and none of that really bothered me. Irt is the random skanks that I don't know or trust....or the ones he has access to when I am not around that bug me.

Anywho. I know that this post was completely off topic. Sorry guys!


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I also work with men in a predominantly manly industry (in fact I am the boss of most of the men I work with)


 Probably some DANGER flirting with the BOSS !! 



Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> Just a few weeks ago- a Tour manager ( I work in the music business as a production manager) came on to me, and was very forward about it... "Hey, I am only in town one night, and I find you extremely attractive, you are pretty and smart and aren't afraid to speak your mind, let's grab a drink after the show and see where the night takes us...ect".
> 
> I was flattered, though I politely declined and went on as if nothing happened.... but on the inside, it made me feel great.!


 WOW, what an interesting JOB you have!! Must be alot of excitement there. Of coarse it made you feel great. Good for you! As much as you might have felt like judging this man for talking to a married woman like he did (surely he saw your ring), it still feels "good" to know "'you still have it going on", & there is nothing wrong with that. You probably did the right thing in declining -as to not risk where he might have wanted the night "to go". 



Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I told my man about what happened, mostly because I felt I needed to be honest, and I was sorta proud of it, but also to see his reaction.... and he didn't seem phased a bit!


 Heck maybe you should have gone & had that drink! Maybe that bit of info would have grabbed his attentions MORE SO. 

Tell me if I am wrong here --but I bet he sees you as devotingly & unmovingly trusted in every way shape & form, even incapable of having thoughts of another, so for him, maybe no reason to even show any concern, he knows you are HIS until the day he hits dust . No threat, no fear, no worries. As BBW would say .... too much trust = apathy, it is boring. 

I will share this, my husband is like that- what I just described. Man, it wouldn't matter what came at him, he would not be moved to unfaithfulness. Although this is sweet, terribly loving & promise keeping until death, it does have it's downside. BBW is right. I broke up with him before we were married for a time - because I wanted to see other men. How did he re-act - He did nothing, absolutely NOTHING, to arouse my jealousy. If he had any sense at all -he would have told me he was looking for another woman & not waiting around for me- who did I think I was ! This would have gotten my attention immediately. But no, he just waited there for me faithfully like a puppy dog. The result -I ended up taking him for granted for many years, as he pretty much let me do it. 

Not that married people should be playing these silly games with each other, but I do think some healthy jealousy can add some EXCITEMENT , some passion to any marraige. 

The 1st time I EVER felt this form of arousing jealousy towards my husband ( not involving others words to him or about him)- but him wanting something other than me - is when we went to a Stip CLub & he accually desired a Lap dance with this dancer he seemed really happy to talk too. Ya know, These feelings started rising up within me, feelings I almost never felt before, Jealousy was written all over that ! But funny thing - I LIKED It ! It made me want him more, like I wanted to possess him. And did later that night. I know you will probably think a married couple going to a strip club is "atrocious", but none the less, it was not a bad thing -for us. It worked wonders on ME. 




Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> I have some trust/abandonment issues tied up w/ my attractiveness and sexuality. This isn't really his problem anymore, but it is still mine, and I am working on it.
> I know that this kind of jealousy is toxic. I know it makes me seem batsh!t crazy, too. Unreasonable and unattractive and insecure!
> I hate it. I really wish I could control it better....but baby steps on that one. I am a work in progress.


 You DO recognize this & are working on it -WONDERFUL .
I see you are not at all worried about women you KNOW complimenting him but go CRAZY if it is a woman you do not know. So long as HE is trustworthy (mainly with his body & affections), hopefully in time, you will see these women are NOT a threat in any way. 

IF he has hurt you terribly & broken your trust though, I can see where these things would be very difficult to climb out of. *BUt this is so much more between you & him than any other womon on the face of the earth*. He can learn some very valuable lessons from BIG BAD WOLF on here . Some men are just so clueless to what we need, he wouldn't be the 1st. Heck, I even talked to my husband about all of that. Can you share this stuff with him -as you & he are working through many things? 



Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> Yes, he knows what I told the little girl at his work. I have also been sorta rude to her on other occasions by just ignoring her presence, even when she comes up to say "Hi".
> I know! I know! I am awful and insecure and possessive. I really am trying to get better.


 It is good you can acknowledge this comes off very badly. You also know these women will probably be talking about it all at his work. You dont want this. Hold your head high, show confidence, even if you are not there yet- Be determined to show it anyway. Like the story of Scrooge, we can all "change" what was - and renew our reputation for the good. Husband will be more attracted to THAT woman and so will his co-workers-it may even end up that you intimidate them-with your confidence. 




Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> Maybe you are right. But I wouldn't want to hurt him, and I am afraid of losing my credibility with my male friends and coworkers.
> I definitely see your point.


 It is not like I am advocating an EA or PA here - not at all. How would you loose credibility if you do nothing wrong? Have you EVER hurt your husband? I am guessing what would hurt YOU is what you feel would HURT him. I think it will take much more to HURT him -given his responses . My guess is you haven't come close. But he HAS hurt you. 



Mrs.LonelyGal said:


> Obviously, I am not equipped to handle it yet.
> I can admit it. Again, I am really trying to get past it.


Your husband can only help in this regard. 

Sometimes it takes some "out of the box" things to wake some of us up to what we have right in front of us. 

I hope you and hubby get there.


----------



## ThinkTooMuch (Aug 6, 2010)

I think the biggest turn on is having my lover obviously enjoying my touch and kisses.

I'm not politically correct, I've been manipulated by 50+ years of increasingly sensual/sexual advertising, print, art, TV, and movies, on a fundamental level the sight of a woman wearing revealing clothing or nude goes right to the center of my being.

Undressing a woman is wonderful, removing her jeans and blouse finding lovely lingerie, then slowly taking her underclothes off is a great pleasure. A warm bedroom is extremely desirable when unclothing her, one more reason I'm glad I no longer live in New England.

I've recently learned I like a woman with neatly trimmed pubic hair, it is a real turn on and very enjoyable for reasons many will find obvious.

I'm just at the beginning of this relationship, I'm easy and horny, though that's been the case for over forty years, in past years I enjoyed when my wore soft silk robes or camisoles or nightgowns to our bed and went through her usual evening routine of loosing and brushing her long hair. She would do this for five to ten increasingly tense (on my part) moments.

I thought lace was pretty but it interfered with tactile sensations, often scratchy and not pleasant when kissing or caressing her.

A huge turnoff was seeing her in ugly underwear, even more when she started wearing ugly, torn underwear, this past year not only to our bedroom sometimes in the kitchen, in retrospect this started when her libido disappeared. I put up with this and should have told her how I felt - my mistake.



MsLonely said:


> I agree.
> 
> Men love to conquer by unwrapping everything that is put on woman's body. There're similar games. When he wins, the woman should be removed piece by piece of her clothing.


----------



## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> I think that to ensure your sex life is exciting you both need to want it...if you think about sex but your H doesn't then, the outcome cannot be good. That is one of the thing I had a long discussion with my wife, and I know is still not easy for her to bring herself to do...to think about sex and what and how she can bring something special to the bedroom....I told her that when you work in a marriage you cannot longer leave everything to chance or to being spontenous...it just doesn't work anymore....if you love your spouse and know she or he needs more in the sex departement then comprimise, talk about it, and agree that once a week, at least, the one that needs to make an effort, intentionally think about it and make sure that day is all about the other one....the way you want them, be ready for anything, make sure he/she will do something special for you...only then, you'll be able to live and be happy, knowing that within you possibilities, the man, woman you love so much, fulfill your needs to the best of their possibilities...if I have learned something from my wife, is that with time, they start enjoying themselves and just relax and give in to feel sexy, desired, and more...


I totally agree and I know how frustrating that is when our spouse showed no interests. I have a higher sex drive than my husband. He used to ignore my needs but now he can help me get off by playing with my titis with fingering. When he touched me, I was totally excited, enjoying whatever he offered. After I got off by his help, I found his penis had "zero reaction" during the whole process.
That really caused my heart to bleed, and so sad I suspected myself not sexy enough to turn him on. I know he's tired, and I should feel happy for his help, but I was in a big frustration, being not able to wake up his penis to enlarge just for 3 mm? I didn't expect to have sex or expect him to get a full erection but this was truely not what I need. I don't need his work when he doesn't enjoy it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My Lord, 3 - 7 times a day !!!! How is this possible when you 2 enjoy the silent treatment weeks at a time? Come on RandomDude, something is not adding up here.


She can obviously help herself, a part of me even actually likes our fights in a way because it gives me a f--king break. I do suspect some insecurity as a cause for her nympho-ness but I'm guessing it's more likely a medical condition which I'll have to check after our fight (if we even manage to reconcile this one - having friends over soon, see whether the stalemate will end)


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

MsLonely said:


> That really caused my heart to bleed, and so sad I suspected myself not sexy enough to turn him on. I know he's tired, and I should feel happy for his help, but I was in a big frustration, being not able to wake up his penis to enlarge just for 3 mm? I didn't expect to have sex or expect him to get a full erection but this was truely not what I need. I don't need his work when he doesn't enjoy it.


This would upset me terribly also, I understand. I can't remember how old he is or if Lower test could be an issue but if so -- ask his Doc for a sample of Viagra! Or is he too embarrassed? We did, this stuff is the BOMB, even cutting a 50mg in half & again (what I call a slither) works for my husband on some of those nights where I fear he might be too tired & I am wearing him out after days in a row. They say this stuff only lasts 4 hours, but we've noticed even if he takes it at bedtime, the effects are still there in the am- 8 hours later. 

Best drug ever discovered in my opionion. Sure has enhanced a # of my nights !


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> I'm guessing it's more likely a medical condition which I'll have to check after our fight


By any chance is she Bi-polar, or have this in her family? Some Bipolars get Hypersexuality. 

Manic Hypersexuality and the Reality of Sexual Addiction 

I'd be curious to hear if she has a diagnosis. Hope you work it out, can't be easy to be around friends while ignorning each other. That will make the friends uncomfortable as well.


----------



## Mrs.LonelyGal (Nov 8, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Probably some DANGER flirting with the BOSS !!
> 
> WOW, what an interesting JOB you have!! Must be alot of excitement there. Of coarse it made you feel great. Good for you! As much as you might have felt like judging this man for talking to a married woman like he did (surely he saw your ring), it still feels "good" to know "'you still have it going on", & there is nothing wrong with that. You probably did the right thing in declining -as to not risk where he might have wanted the night "to go".


Ha! One would think that it is an interesting job, wouldn't they? It has it's perks.... I am a music lover afterall. 
Though, I am actively looking for a way out of it. In the end it is still work. And very demanding work, at that. The long hours, the pressure, the rock star attitudes.... it can take it's toll. 7 weeks ago I worked a festival where my shifts started at 7AM and didn't stop until 4AM for 4 days in a row, I didn't eat or sleep or take pee breaks. I ended up reaching my personal limit and having a full on meltdown that required a 2 week mental health vacation.

Staying professional and married are the main reason I didn't have that drink. It could have been harmless, but it was already late at night after the show, and I really just wanted to go home and cuddle w/ my husband!




SimplyAmorous said:


> Tell me if I am wrong here --but I bet he sees you as devotingly & unmovingly trusted in every way shape & form, even incapable of having thoughts of another, so for him, maybe no reason to even show any concern, he knows you are HIS until the day he hits dust . No threat, no fear, no worries. As BBW would say .... too much trust = apathy, it is boring.


Yes, I am that way.... much like your husband. I am very loyal.
I am intensely loyal, and very protective.
I was such a floozy in my younger years. I was seeing 3 different men when I met him, having 3 ways. Seeing women. I had my fun and I was ready to settle down when I fell in love with him. I was such a sl^t! 
::smacks forehead::

Now the thought of another man's penis inside me makes me physically ill. Even mild flirting makes me feel kinda guilty when I catch myself doing it, I guess because I know how upset it would make me if I thought that he was mildly flirting.
I make a point of befriending all of his women acquaintances ( that I can tolerate) If they know me they might be less likely to do or say something to disrespect my marriage.



SimplyAmorous said:


> The 1st time I EVER felt this form of arousing jealousy towards my husband ( not involving others words to him or about him)- but him wanting something other than me - is when we went to a Stip CLub & he accually desired a Lap dance with this dancer he seemed really happy to talk too. Ya know, These feelings started rising up within me, feelings I almost never felt before, Jealousy was written all over that ! But funny thing - I LIKED It ! It made me want him more, like I wanted to possess him. And did later that night. I know you will probably think a married couple going to a strip club is "atrocious", but none the less, it was not a bad thing -for us. It worked wonders on ME.


:smthumbup:
No judgement from me on that type of recreation! I actually like going to strip clubs, but I don't want my husband going without me.
We would probably go more often, if it didn't seem so damn expensive.




SimplyAmorous said:


> You DO recognize this & are working on it -WONDERFUL .
> I see you are not at all worried about women you KNOW complimenting him but go CRAZY if it is a woman you do not know. So long as HE is trustworthy (mainly with his body & affections), hopefully in time, you will see these women are NOT a threat in any way.
> 
> IF he has hurt you terribly & broken your trust though, I can see where these things would be very difficult to climb out of. *BUt this is so much more between you & him than any other womon on the face of the earth*. He can learn some very valuable lessons from BIG BAD WOLF on here . Some men are just so clueless to what we need, he wouldn't be the 1st. Heck, I even talked to my husband about all of that. Can you share this stuff with him -as you & he are working through many things?


Maybe I could talk to him about it... I might just leave this thread open on the computer so he can read my response?
Sometimes I wish he was as interested in researching relationships as I am. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to prod him into talking about our issues. It is like he never wants to discuss feelings or anything. Like it's as if, talking about things scares him.



SimplyAmorous said:


> It is good you can acknowledge this comes off very badly. You also know these women will probably be talking about it all at his work. You dont want this. Hold your head high, show confidence, even if you are not there yet- Be determined to show it anyway. Like the story of Scrooge, we can all "change" what was - and renew our reputation for the good. Husband will be more attracted to THAT woman and so will his co-workers-it may even end up that you intimidate them-with your confidence.
> 
> 
> It is not like I am advocating an EA or PA here - not at all. How would you loose credibility if you do nothing wrong? Have you EVER hurt your husband? I am guessing what would hurt YOU is what you feel would HURT him. I think it will take much more to HURT him -given his responses . My guess is you haven't come close. But he HAS hurt you.


I guess I think my husband thinks like, If I want to be with them, I can have them- like he wouldn't fight for me.( and that thought kinda hurts...) Now that may or may not be true, but that is the impression I have always got when it comes to jealously on his part.
It is destructive behavior on my part, and I know I have got to change the way I react to situations. There are just a lot of negative injunctions in my brain that are preventing me from moving past it. Some from my past with him...some from my childhood and my Dad. It's funny, rationally I know I am being unreasonable, and I do enough introspection to know what the root source of these emotions, but in the heat of the moment, it's like I can't switch them off.



SimplyAmorous said:


> Your husband can only help in this regard.
> 
> Sometimes it takes some "out of the box" things to wake some of us up to what we have right in front of us.
> 
> I hope you and hubby get there.


Me too! 

Back to the subject at hand...

I guess I am learning that the art of seduction and attraction is far more complex that I ever imagined it was. 
Just being naked or passionate kisses are a good start but after 12 years, they don't really spark the flame that they used to. 

Seduction, I believe starts mentally long before it starts physically. My way of seduction is evolving. I am trying to send dirty text messages to him throughout the day ( not every day...but once every week or so). If we don't get to be intimate on a particular night, I am really working on not getting bent out of shape- as today is another day.
I like to touch myself in front of him to let him know I am in the mood. I like to do little things to remind him how attracted I am to him. I really need to buy some new lingerie. I hinted that I wanted him to come shopping with me for some, or that I would like something sexy for Xmas.


----------

