# Condoms



## sniper (Dec 5, 2013)

So my wife told me that it is a burning and tearing pain when we have sex (even with lube). But she said that if I do not go in and out but just stay in her she doesn't feel that pain. Also she said she didn't feel it as much when we used condoms in the past...but I couldn't feel much either. 

So what is the deal? Do we need to use condoms? If so how do I get to feel it? Advice please?


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

sniper said:


> So my wife told me that it is a burning and tearing pain when we have sex (even with lube). But she said that if I do not go in and out but just stay in her she doesn't feel that pain. Also she said she didn't feel it as much when we used condoms in the past...but I couldn't feel much either.
> 
> So what is the deal? Do we need to use condoms? If so how do I get to feel it? Advice please?


I used to use condoms all the time, but now they make me raw. I would suggest a sensitivity to either the latex or perhaps spermicide.

Lube doesn't help if it's a reaction, but Vaseline might - that's a 'might', because it contains only one ingredient. You'd need to apply and then let the Vaseline warm up a bit too before applying any friction to her. Be aware that it is a petrochemical, so the reason I would recommend it is that it contains no proteins which cause most allergic/sensitivity reactions, yet it has a lock-in moisture effect which would aggravate an infection which thrives on dampness.

This situation developed after using a topical cream containing steroids to treat an unknown skin inflammation, possibly related to e-coli. 

Not being able to use condoms is obviously a huge problem in England, because most women are infected with at least one STD, and don't know it because they show no symptoms.

I would advise she get herself checked out on the physical side for any infection that inflames under heat (friction), secondly, has she been using a steroid based topical medication which weakens the skin. Use these too long and the skin is weakened permanently too, so find out soon. If it's not these things, then maybe Vaseline.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Tell her to immediately get checked out by her OB-GYN. They should be able to quickly pinpoint the problem, and give her the relief that both of you undoubtedly need!*


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> *Tell her to immediately get checked out by her OB-GYN. They should be able to quickly pinpoint the problem, and give her the relief that both of you undoubtedly need!*


This.


It could be a bunch of issues related to allergies but it could also be psychological. Sounds weird but there really are women who manifest emotional issues with sex in the form of pain in their vaginal area.I was one of those for a while.


----------



## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

That isn't right. A woman should not feel pain during sex. What is her age, is she post menopausal in which case could be as simple as you should be using lube to help with the dryness and friction. 

She needs to see a doctor, there could be many causes and the problem needs to be dealt with.


----------



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

The pain one may feel during or after sexual intercourse is called dyspareunia. It is not a condition in itself but is caused by medical conditions or psychosocial problems.

Dyspareunia is almost exclusive to women, but it also affects men in rare cases. It is not uncommon for women to feel pain during intercourse; although true dyspareunia in women frequently occurs along with vaginismus, a condition that causes the vaginal muscles to tense up during penetration. 

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/192590.php


----------



## H30 (Nov 23, 2013)

I would even say to try different condoms. Spermicide can give a burning feeling.


----------



## ForBetter (Mar 6, 2012)

Watch out with using Vaseline or mineral oil as it will weaken the rubber and increase risk of breakage.


----------



## sniper (Dec 5, 2013)

Sorry I just noticed how I wrote wrong. I was trying to say we don't use condoms now and there is pain...but when we used them in the past there was less pain.


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

If she has ANY pain during sex, she needs to go to her gyno so they can figure out what it is. It could be an infection, and those can get bad if untreated.

Burning could mean a Urinary Tract Infection as well, which also needs to be treated.


----------



## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> The pain one may feel during or after sexual intercourse is called dyspareunia. It is not a condition in itself but is caused by medical conditions or psychosocial problems.
> 
> Dyspareunia is almost exclusive to women, but it also affects men in rare cases. It is not uncommon for women to feel pain during intercourse; although true dyspareunia in women frequently occurs along with vaginismus, a condition that causes the vaginal muscles to tense up during penetration.
> 
> What Is Painful Intercourse (Dyspareunia)? What Causes Painful Intercourse? - Medical News Today


Pain from vaginismus is no joke. As a male, we are often ignorant of pain in the female anatomy, after all babies come out of there. 

Imagine if skin off your penis was stripped off with needlenose pliers. This is what it would feel like with penetration and every stroke of vaginisimus, overbearing, pain that makes it impossible to focus on anything else. Some vagisimus is so bad that penetriation is physicall impossible, the vagina muscles clench down and block.


----------



## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

How long have you been married? Has this ever happened before? 

Seems like the pain would have been worse WITH the condoms on. Could she have some psychosomatic thing going on? Is she scared of getting pregnant maybe?


----------



## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

....since the topic is 'condoms' ....I have a serious question for "the ladies"...

....can you tell when a guy is wearing a condom or when he is not?


----------



## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Oh yes, I at least have found it less stimulating. It's like shaking hand's with someone wearing a glove or one one that doesn't.


----------



## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

over20 said:


> Oh yes, I at least have found it less stimulating. It's like shaking hand's with someone wearing a glove or one one that doesn't.


...so, I'd guess that it would be somewhat valid to say, that in a totally darkened room ...and all hands off the 'member' ...that you be able to tell the difference?


----------



## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ...so, I'd guess that it would be somewhat valid to say, that in a totally darkened room ...and all hands off the 'member' ...that you be able to tell the difference?



Of course. My DH hates condoms as well, he says he feels restricted.:smthumbup:

What have the women in your life shared with you? I personally love feeling my Dh heat....

IMO, condoms are for the ONS type of people


----------



## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ...so, I'd guess that it would be somewhat valid to say, that in a totally darkened room ...and all hands off the 'member' ...that you be able to tell the difference?


Yes.


----------



## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Condoms*



EI said:


> Yes.


.....that's what I figured ...and has been my stance all along with my wife ....who claims to this day that she doesn't know if the guy that she had a ONS with ...had a condom on. 

.....just needed a woman's opinion / feedback.

...thanks.


----------



## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

I know my BIL is uncircumcised, and that has been a problem for his W. I can't relate, I just know it was related to that. They use condoms, and apparently that helps. So if you have foreskin, it might be something to consider. Maybe not; that's just what I know from what little I know about someone else's sex life...


----------



## Jimena (May 28, 2012)

I too suggest that she talk to her OB/GYN. Increased pain during intercourse can be a symptom of something else that may not be related to the use of condoms. My one friend found out she had cervical cancer that way.
If its just that her vagina is not producing enough fluids for lubrication, her doc may be able to offer a solution and rule out any serious issues.


----------

