# when is enough enough



## dmcneilan (Aug 15, 2009)

my husband has so many websites, dating sites, craigslist, etc. that i can never know them all. i busted him 3years ago for the same thing. he said he stopped. busted him again in august of this year. he had expressed to me then that he did it because i am not available for him. so he stopped again. busted him again this week. this time he is bored and talking to these sex line prostitutes fills his time while he is driving between work sites. he says that when he calls me at work i am never available. this is his best excuse. our lifes are completely have completely changed in the last 3years. my daughter went to prison for 3years for drug addiction, leaving my 6year old granddaughter in my care. i would never have changed a thing about my granddaugher. he has used this as the reason he turns away from our marriage to prostitutes. i am available 24/7 for him when it comes to our relationship. i have never denied him told him no dont feel like it etc. in fact i ask him for it. i am told no because we no longer have the privacy we used to have. he has become extremely cruel in his actions towards me. he takes every opportunity to degrade me. i have gone to work several days with no sleep due to being up all night fighting. the last fight was monday night i broke his phone when i found out again he was contacting other women. he put mine in the garbage disposal. i know we both were in the wrong. the bottom line is that we were suppose to be working on our marriage. i went balistic. we are getting in physical fights now i am not use to being like this. please if you can help me figure out this situation by all means send your thoughts. i know that i should have seen the writing on the wall the first time, the second time, and now the third time? i honestly am ashamed to look people in the eyes. the old me would have never lived this life. the new me feels like i have to live it for my granddaughters sake of keeping her in a stable home right now. he knew exactly what he was doing we filed for chapter 13 in august he demanded that the payments come out of my payroll. nothing from his so now i bring home $1505.00 less monthly now. i can not leave and live on my own on $1200.00 monthly. i am truly stuck.


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## mea_3 (Sep 13, 2009)

WOW. Sounds like things for you are a complete mess. I really think you and your h would benefit from some serious counseling. And if your daughter is still doing drugs, she should be in therapy to. Best of luck.


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## sjm1983 (Sep 18, 2009)

If that's what he wants to do then I don't see how keeping a stable relationship for your grand daughter is helpful.. especially if he is abusing you physically. 

Can't have sex because of lack of privacy but he can abuse you without fear? Seems like the priorities are wrong. 

I can tell you from personal experience that your wife can tell you something, you can feel bad about it, swear to change, but if you don't want to change then all the words in the world will not make it happen. 

Sounds to me like he doesn't want to change and I don't see how keeping your grand daughter in a home like that is helpful. I understand how financially it doesn't seem possible to live on that but somethings gotta give. If he abuses you call the police.


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

the new me feels like i have to live it for my granddaughters sake of keeping her in a stable home right now.

My dear there is nothing whatsoever "stable" about this situation. My advice is if you have close friends or family, now is the time to use them. Run. Run fast. Run far. Run soon.

Wishing you God's peace and protection. LIL


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## alytamave (Oct 2, 2009)

I understand that you feel trapped, with no where else to go. First things first, you don't deserve to be treated this way, secondly, you are not providing a stable home for your granddaughter. She hears the fighting and can feel the tension. That is not a healthy home for her at all. As long as you have a job, then you need to move out with your granddaughter. Find a cheaper place to live and leave him once and for all. What about all the other times you did not know about. Just because you caught him three times does not mean he ever stopped. Really, if you want your granddaughter to grow up healthy, the first thing you have to do is teach her how to love herself first, and do that by example by loving yourself first. You have to find the strength for the both of you to live a happier life. You won't be happy ever if you're constantly trying to change H when he apparently does not want to change at all. No one deserves to be in a relationship like this! You deserve better and you really need to believe this yourself! I wish you much luck and even more happiness!!!!


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