# Signs of Bi-Polar wife



## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

I've been doing a little bit of research, but can someone tell me some first hand signs?


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

There are various degrees and types of bipolar. Contrary to popular belief, it's not necessarily that someone goes from one extreme to the other. A bipolar person may cycle between "normal" emotional states to depression and back to normal again with no mania at all, and still be bipolar.

Basically, if a person goes to very depressed periods OR very manic periods, or if they experience mood swings from depression to mania, they may have a bipolar disorder. 

Signs of a high manic episode: sound judgment can fly out the window. It can make perfect sense for a manic person to plan a visit from Colorado to California with a brief stop to visit a friend in Florida. Unplanned, excessive spending. Elated or excitable moods, although this can also mean very easily irritated and prone to dramatic outbursts. Grandiose ideas (I'm going to open a company and be making a million dollars a year within the first three years!) They may have pressured speech, as if they just can't get all the ideas out of their head, and their ideas may take flight - they lose track of what they were saying or get off on long tangents before coming back to the main point. Sexual risk-taking is common, too. People in manic episodes may not require much sleep. An extreme manic episode can cause a break with reality in which the person hallucinates or has delusions. Homicidal thoughts, gestures, or attempts may also happen during manic episodes.

Depressive states can involve loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, excessive sleep or difficulty sleeping, feelings of sadness that color their perspectives on pretty much everything. They may lose interest in people and activities that they otherwise like. Suicidal thoughts, gestures, or attempts.

I'm probably forgetting some so I'll link the diagnostic criteria below, but first let me point out a couple of important points.

- Everyone has some degree of moodiness, which is most often triggered by an event. With bipolar disorders, these swings happen without a triggering event. 

- Cyclothymia may be present in people who don't meet the criteria for bipolar disorders. Cyclothymia is a cycling of moods that isn't quite to the same extreme as one would see with bipolar. 

-Other conditions can mimic bipolar disorders: Excessive caffeine use, drug or alcohol abuse, and seasonal affective disorder can cause similar behaviors. Bipolar disorders can also coexist with personality disorders, most notably borderline personality disorder.

DSM-IV criteria for bipolar disorder I and II :: DNA Learning Center

A husband with a bipolar wife often feels wonderful when she's in an "up" state. She's more affectionate, sexual, and exciting than other women. However, she can snap into a rage with little provocation. At other times, she seems lazy and self-absorbed, complaining more than others think is warranted. They probably argue often over her spending if she cycles rapidly.


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

I have bipolar disorder. I think one of the misconecptions about bipolar disorder is that mania is a very happy mood. Only 10% of manias are euphoric. The other 90% can be experienced as anger or irritability. Another misconception is that moods change all the time. On average a person with bipolar disorder will have 8-10 episodes over the course of a lifetime. I have a very severe form of the disease with delusions and hallucinations, but it has been a year and a half since my last episode and my mood has been normal this whole time. 

Look for impaired judgment. Someone in a manic episode cannot understand the consequences of their actions. Someone who is relatively good with money may spend thousands of dollars they don't have. If the mania is more psychotic look for paranoia along with delusional thinking. 

The good news is if your wife has bipolar disorder it is treatable. It responds well to medication. Personality disorders do not.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I posted this in another thread over 18 months ago



> well bringing it up in the middle of a manic episode is probably the hardest time to convince anyone to get it checked. ('cause mania feels goooooood!) The stabilization period is the best way to approach someone about it.
> 
> speaking for myself my symptoms were as such (of course everyone has varying symptoms)-
> 
> ...


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## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

I appreciate the replies, guys.

I'm asking, because I have never had to actually do research to save my relationship, but as of this moment, it is on the brink of destruction. I figured I would start with how to figure her out, and I decided that she had what I considered 'Bi polar tendencies'. Well boy was I right.

Here are a few things that, based on my research, and these posts, that she does that I can think off the top of my head.

- Mood swings. One small thing can make her very happy, and out of no where, she is depressed, for days.

- Spontaneous planning of trips. Within the last month, she has said she is going to do all of these - Go on a cruise. Travel to Oregon, and Washington (We are in GA). Go to Arizona to visit friends. Go to Louisiana with a friend.

- Has a hard time completing tasks. 
* Starts multiple tasks

- Erractic Spending (I had a savings of a few thousand dollars) and after bills, rent, car payments, phone, etc, I still earn about a 1000 towards saving a month. I checked my bank account, and I was under 100 dollars. Checked my bank statements, and factored in my online spending (I am deployed, I have ordered a few video games, some pre work out, and some christmas presents) And most of the extra spending was from her, gym memberships, magazines subscriptions, online make up subscriptions, starbucks daily, mcdondals / tacobell daily (80$ FROM PUBLIX, 70$ FROM KMART, AND 40$ FROM FRESHMARKET ALL IN THE SAME DAY!)
15 dollars in gas, every, other day (Car gets 25 MPG, and her work which she works, 3 maybe 4 times a week, is like 7 or 8 miles away)
Point here is, very erratic spending, costed me tons of money, in just a month.

- Trouble sleeping. Or sleeping too much.

- Before I met her, she had suicidal tendencies as well. Contemplated it. Thought about it, etc.

Amongst other things I cannot think of off the top of my head.

Does this sound Bi polar?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well you can armchair analyze her all you want but you have plenty to persuade her to get help and diagnosed


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## manonfire (Nov 29, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> well you can armchair analyze her all you want but you have plenty to persuade her to get help and diagnosed


I asked her last night.

She said she saw a therapist a while ago, and that the therapist said she wasn't. And that she is only that way towards me.
I should have said *which I didn't, stupid, stupid stupid* that Bi polar, is more than just turning into hardcore ***** to me in an instant.

I remember when she went to that therapist. The therapist asked her to fill out a 400 question questionnaire. How can that determine something? She took another questionnaire for her personality recently and she had to ask me most of the questions. She did all 400 by her self that day.


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

It typically takes ten years of seeking treatment before someone is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It is often misdiagnosed. I was treated for depression and anxiety for years before i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I probably even failed a test checking for it. I attributed my irritability to PMS and it wasn't until later in life that I had a euphoric mania. Seek a second opinion and go with her and voice your concerns. Misdiagnoses in psychiatry is very common. There is no blood test for a psychiatric illness and often times many symptoms overlap between all the different diagnoses. 

Untreated bipolar disorder get worse with time and can be very disabling. It is the sixth leading cause of disability in the world. Getting adequate treatment early in the course of the illness is key.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Self medication, compulsive self destructive behavior, violence, lack of personal hygiene, sexual promiscuity, hyper sexuality, zero sexuality, paranoia, spending sprees, speech and thoughts that only make sense to the person making them, catatonic depression, delusional thinking, extreme self hatred, suicidal ideation, extreme high risk behavior generally.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

The things you've described certainly lend toward the possibility of a bipolar disorder. As CurlySue said, diagnosis can take YEARS. Partly this is because the person reports how they are feeling "right now" and cannot adequately evaluate a long-term behavior pattern. 

That's why your participation is important. You can provide that extra information you've observed. A good therapist will often ask the patient to contact family members to get supplemental info like this.


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