# Masturbating in bed next to spouse



## diwali123

I don't get it! I just don't. I see so many people posting about this and how they weren't sure what he/she was doing or didn't want to confront. 
First off, how big is your bed that you can't tell what they are doing? 
How do people have the gall to do this? are they hoping to get caught? 
It's just so bizarre to me. And how do you do that without shaking the bed and making noise?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PHTlump

Obviously people who will masturbate a foot or two away from another person aren't that concerned about being caught. I think it's just a passive-aggressive way of complaining about lack of sex. Kind of a, "look what I've been forced into," kind of action. What I really can't understand are the spouses who withhold sex and then get upset when the other partner masturbates.


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## WorkingOnMe

Ya, I don't get it either. I can't imagine either of us ever doing this without it being part of sex together. I'm all for letting her know that I'm doing it as part of making a statement about my having needs. But to do it next to her with her trying to ignore it? No, not going to happen.


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## kingsfan

PHTlump said:


> Obviously people who will masturbate a foot or two away from another person aren't that concerned about being caught. I think it's just a passive-aggressive way of complaining about lack of sex. Kind of a, "look what I've been forced into," kind of action. What I really can't understand are the spouses who withhold sex and then get upset when the other partner masturbates.


I agree with this.

My fiancee's ex-husband used to do this whenever she'd turn him down. It wasn't a withholding sex thing at first, he'd just do it whenever she said no, even if she had a reason. 

As the relationship went downhill near the end I'm sure she was withholding sex, but the masterbation thing started well before that.

I think it's partly a "look what you forced me into" thing, and partly a "maybe if I start doing this she'll feel pity/sorrow/get horny and want to do me."


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## CO_MOM

I would be offended if I caught my husband doing this, but that is only because I would want him to wake me up to take care of it! Which I believe he would do, since we have had many 2 AM sessions! He says that I am the one that usually starts them, I guess if I do, its in my sleep.


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## Snookums

I think it may be a form of screaming for help to maybe show the other spouse the lack of attention they feel they are or aren't getting. When one is desperate sometimes they will try anything!


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## Mavash.

I think it's passive aggressive.


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## Open up now let it all go

IDK is this really such a bad thing. Im guilty of at least 2-3 times during the relationship. Sometimes I just need a release, eh?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Amplexor

michzz said:


> On who's part?
> 
> Interesting perspective on unmet needs.


Both. If she's passive, I masturbate aggressively.


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## Zatol Ugot?

I assume that the original post is referring to a scenario where the non-active partner is supposedly unaware of the masturbating partner.
I have never done this to my wife nor her to me. However, there has been several occasions where I wanted a release and my wife was not feeling up to anything but she was ok with me laying next to her and taking care of things myself. I like that scenario better than getting up and shutting the door to the bathroom. At least she is involved somehow.


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## Snookums

Amplexor said:


> Both. If she's passive, I masturbate aggressively.


:rofl:


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## donny64

Wow, I may do this several times a month! W is sound asleep, neither of us initiated before hand, or she was just exhausted. She goes to sleep, and I somehow get horny to where sleep seems impossible. So I take care of it. I do try to avoid waking her, but am hiding nothing. There is no passive-aggressive reason behind it. Nothing more than being horny and wanting to take care of it and go to sleep. 

The only angst she has with it is if she wakes up in the middle of it, she says I should have woken her so she could watch or take part! But, experience does tell me that she needs her sleep, so I try to avoid waking her. 

Not once that I recall have I done it after being turned down. If she's tired, there's usually no time to initiate...she's OUT like a light in a minute! If she's not tired, I don't get turned down. 

We're incredibly open with each other, so I don't find it strange at all. And it is certainly not passive aggressive or some kink I have. She's asleep, I'm horny, I take care of it if I can't sleep.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Open up now let it all go

That too, beats any sleeping pill when there's rest needed for a hard day and you just can't friggin' fall asleep.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IndyTMI

I have done this maybe a couple of times during our 13 years of marriage. She was aware of at least one of the occasions.
I know of one time where she was upset with me and she rubbed one out with me "sleeping" next to her. I didn't think much about it and probably rubbed one out myself the following morning.


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## ATC529R

I just could not do it. It's too humiliating to have to masturbate when your wife is right there and won't even give you any......how sad is that? talk about a boner killer.


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## kingsfan

I agree ATC529R. Makes you feel really inferior.


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## Holland

If we had a dysfunctional sex life then I would find it passive aggressive.

As it is our sex life is good, I don't care what time it is or how asleep I am, he can wake me up and I am happy to provide the release he needs.


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## YinPrincess

Ugh my ex would do this - and want me to watch. Uhm no.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## russ101

I could never do that in front of her, I would be too self concious. She did ask me recently if I masturbated (she never wants to have sex anymore, and we haven't done it in 4 months) and I replied "Of course I masturbate!, you don't want to have sex anymore. Its either masturbate or cheat. I have to get my needs met one way or another." 
Her only reply was thats gross! Even though she used to masturbate often in her younger days! Go figure!


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## LearninAsWeGo

YinPrincess said:


> Ugh my ex would do this - and want me to watch. Uhm no.


It's just a male ego thing. Guys are always gonna have at least weekly solo sessions even if they're getting sex 10x a week. Most women I've met will also enjoy their rabbit or bullet from time to time also, but a lot less frequently. Everyone has different drive.

I agree going at it next to your sleepy spouse is probably a bit passive agressive and you have to have a comfort zone, but it all depends on the context of the relationship. In a long term trusting relationship, I think it's good, though. It shows your partner you're fantasizing about THEM and not some girl you saw at the mall or porn vid, and that's kinda hot to know your partner can't resist you.


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## Amplexor

Holland said:


> If we had a dysfunctional sex life then I would find it passive aggressive.


Kevin Spacey in American Beauty! 

Definitely P/A

*Come on Baby!!! I'm right HERE!!!*


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## farmerswife

I have "caught" my husband on many occasions at 2 am taking caring things on his own. I used to get mad, jealous even but in the last year I have undergone HRT with has caused my testosterone (yes, women have it too) to rise and I am now very easily aroused so I COMPLETELY feel his "pain". That being said I completely understand why he would do it on his own; it was the middle of the night, he did not want to wake me up and say "Honey, I'm horny will you fix it." and I appreciate that. I never have withheld sex from him so I always knew it was not me or him being abnormally horny. 

My advice would be (I have done this myself on many occasions) to roll over next to him and take over for him...


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## ATC529R

I got caught by an ex-GF spanking the mokey to an excercise infomercial on the couch :slap:


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## WyshIknew

Holland said:


> If we had a dysfunctional sex life then I would find it passive aggressive.
> 
> As it is our sex life is good, I don't care what time it is or how asleep I am, he can wake me up and I am happy to provide the release he needs.


Yep same here.

Been asked by wife not to masturbate as she will always take care of me. She feels that if I have to she has somehow let me down.


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## Open up now let it all go

ATC529R said:


> I got caught by an ex-GF spanking the mokey to an excercise infomercial on the couch :slap:


That's gold 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donny64

I'm going solo about three times a week (both with and without her as an "obsever"). Ladies, I can tell you that it is never because I've felt "let down" or because she can't take care of me. In fact, the way she takes care of me often leads to more horniness and desire to spank it! After a night of awesome sex, I'm hornier than the devil by morning!

Never been more sexually satisfied in my life. And neither has she. Masturbating, unless it takes the place of sex with an S/O, has not a thing to do with being unfulfilled. At least not to us.

Don't take everything so personally. Especially when it comes to a man and his hormones!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man

Can't get the logic in flying solo when my wife's in bed with me.

Most times she will gives me a HJ in bed if she's on her period.

But me flying solo with her " sleeping " next to me?
No.

Something's weird about that.


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## chillymorn

I read a christan artical that encouraged it sorta . It said if you put the moves on and get rejected then just say I understand your not in the mood but I am so I am going to go in the bed room and spank one out i will be thinking about your beautiful body and I so wish you would join me. then go in and do it . it said you might be suprised when she come in a few minutes later read to rock and roll!


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## KendalMintcake

diwali123 said:


> I don't get it! I just don't. I see so many people posting about this and how they weren't sure what he/she was doing or didn't want to confront.
> First off, how big is your bed that you can't tell what they are doing?
> How do people have the gall to do this? are they hoping to get caught?
> It's just so bizarre to me. And how do you do that without shaking the bed and making noise?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't bone your partner for a year. That's how it happens - usually the other partner who doesn't want Alex pretends to be asleep anyway. A guy sometimes after so much waiting can blow just by turning over 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aribabe

I'm a big time stress masturbator.... a bad dream, bad day, etc will all have me masturbating in bed next to my husband while he's sleeping. It has nothing to do with him, I've always been that way. I just want that "selfish" release and relaxation for myself in those moments. And i don't see why i"d leave our bed to do that. My husband isn't particularly concerned with my masturbatory habits lol


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## diwali123

I still don't get it. I would feel so weird. And I thought I was really open minded.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos

Mavash. said:


> I think it's passive aggressive.


It can be. I used to wake up to my ex-husband attending to his "morning glory," but he had little or no interest in having sex with me. I can't believe I lasted 6 years with him...


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## donny64

FrenchFry said:


> I'm reading two different situations here:
> 
> 1) Sexless relationship, partner is frustrated with being rejected and passive aggressively masturbates with partner in bed while partner is either asleep or feigning sleep.
> 
> That sucks. Never done that or had it done to me
> 
> 2)There is a difference in drives between a couple and instead of building up tension, the higher drive partner feels comfortable enough to "let one out" while the SO either watches with interest or helps (or doesn't really mind.)
> 
> Yeah, we do this all the time. My husband loves morning sex, I hardly ever get into it, so instead of me faking or half-assing sex he jerks off and I watch very interestedly. (I love watching him masturbate, it's amazing) Multiple benefits; he lasts longer later, I get turned on watching him, don't get that "sex fatigue" that I experience and once in awhile I'll be so turned on I'll join in.
> 
> He was a little suprised the first time I "caught" him doing this and encouraged it, not that popular I guess?
> 
> The only times I'm disappointed that he does this are the times I'm sleeping too heavily to wake up and watch him...he's kind of a masturbatory ninja.


You sound like my W. The only reason she seems to care if I masturbate when she's asleep or not there is she can't take part or watch. You'd think that after years of this, shed grow bored with it. Not so much. 

Neither of us, however, are low drive. We're about equally mid to hi drive. We both love sex with each other, and we both masturbate pretty frequently. Personally, I LOVE how we are. 

What seems weird to me is not so much going solo with your S/O there, either asleep or awake, but rather sneaking off somewhere in the middle of the night, rubbing one out secretly in the shower, or just being frustrated and going without. 

There is one disadvantage I find to trying to masturbate alone now. It is nowhere near as fun.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Athena1

Well this thread is normalizing... didn't know other people were doing this! 

Thankful to say I'm in the second camp though, no agendas here. Just physical satisfaction.


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## akshaybhatt2000

Not necessarily passive aggressive. My wife doesn't feel the need for sex, she wants physical intimacy aka cuddling in my arms while sleeping. I want action. Well I will do it quietly so that I don't disturb her. What's so wrong about that? Just taking care of my needs without disturbing anybody.


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## I Notice The Details

FrenchFry said:


> 2)There is a difference in drives between a couple and instead of building up tension, the higher drive partner feels comfortable enough to "let one out" while the SO either watches with interest or helps (or doesn't really mind.)
> 
> Yeah, we do this all the time. My husband loves morning sex, I hardly ever get into it, so instead of me faking or half-assing sex he jerks off and I watch very interestedly. (I love watching him masturbate, it's amazing) Multiple benefits; he lasts longer later, I get turned on watching him, don't get that "sex fatigue" that I experience and once in awhile I'll be so turned on I'll join in.
> 
> He was a little suprised the first time I "caught" him doing this and encouraged it, not that popular I guess?
> 
> The only times I'm disappointed that he does this are the times I'm sleeping too heavily to wake up and watch him...he's kind of a masturbatory ninja.


FrenchFry,

This might sound weird, but my wife actually encourages me to do this about once a month when she is NOT in the mood and I go to bed early! 

I have been in a deep sleep and suddenly noticed the smell of her Victoria's Secret Lotion for some reason. I always associate this smell with foreplay and continue to sleep....but this smell is like "erotic aroma therapy" and is going straight to my brain in a very powerful way!! 

I wake up and notice that the stallion is as hard as a rock. I turn my head to look at the clock on her nightstand and feel something cool and silky on my pillow. It is her panties that she has put there for me to find....right next to my cheek....and that is where the scent is coming from! 

I find myself in a very erotic and turned on state...and she is laying on her side, facing me...sleeping. Her breathing is steady and her eyes are closed. I turn back to my night stand and see my bottle of Astroglide sitting on the top of it. It is now clear to me that SHE has set up this entire erotic situation....so I go ahead and "enjoy" myself quietly while she sleeps. We have two night lights in our bedroom, so I know she can see "everything"....IF she is watching.

In the morning, she asks me if I had any erotic dreams while she picks up her silky RED panties off of my pillow. I confess that I did, and she just smiles from ear to ear. 

I sure do love my sly, sexy wife! :


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## ladybird

diwali123 said:


> I don't get it! I just don't. I see so many people posting about this and how they weren't sure what he/she was doing or didn't want to confront.
> First off, how big is your bed that you can't tell what they are doing?
> How do people have the gall to do this? are they hoping to get caught?
> It's just so bizarre to me. And how do you do that without shaking the bed and making noise?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 Our bed is a queen size.. I do it because i don't have much of a choice, unless i want to go completely insane. I can't do it during the day, my son doesn't take naps anymore.. I don't care if i get caught either.


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## dubbizle

Who are some of you people,its like I am upset if they do this or I am angey if they do that ,it sounds like a lot of relationships are about controling the other person. 

If I can't sleep YES I do it,because my wife is knocked out and she works hard,so I am not going to wake her and I know once I do knock one out I will go to sleep plus it feel VERY VERY GOOD.


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## jaquen

My wife loves to watch me go at it. She'd love it if I started jacking off in bed. I've done it a handful of times, and she was mesmerized. She's even done it once. She was super horny, I was dead tired, she tried to wake me, I didn't get up, and she went to town. I awoke to the delicious sounds of her fingering a super wet vagina. It's hot, end of story.

I am floored that anybody would find it offensive, or disgusting, that their partner was comfortable enough to masturbate next to them.


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## StargateFan

What is the big deal on masturbation. I am HD wife is LD been married 17 years together 21. W works hard (10-12 hour days) and is usually asleep by 9. She has her Magic Wand, I have my hand and p0rn. She is not usually interested weeknights, so I take care of it myself. I usually go off to the basement, but since we got our Tempurpedic twin Xl beds, I will not shake her awake. We have never restricted each others self pleasure. I could see it as a problem if you chose it over your partner. How cruel to say no to sex and no to masturbation. I would be out the door.


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## Holland

jaquen said:


> My wife loves to watch me go at it. She'd love it if I started jacking off in bed. I've done it a handful of times, and she was mesmerized. She's even done it once. She was super horny, I was dead tired, she tried to wake me, I didn't get up, and she went to town. I awoke to the delicious sounds of her fingering a super wet vagina. It's hot, end of story.
> 
> I am floored that anybody would find it offensive, or disgusting, that their partner was comfortable enough to masturbate next to them.


I read it as people find it bad if the doer is doing it but isn't having a good sex life with them.

Anyway that was my situation with the ex. Sexless marriage but he would sometimes DIY thinking I was asleep, Yeah that is bad and only compounds problems in a bad marriage.

There is nothing offensive about the act of masturbation. I love it, SO loves it. He can do whatever he wants with his body but we also have a lot of sex together. He knows I am happy for him to wake me for sex at 3 am but if he just wanted to knock one out next to me that would be fine too. If I woke up I would either watch or join in.


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## dubbizle

StargateFan-Unfortunately I think a lot of people on here think they own their partner and want to force them to do and behave the way they want and not accept them for who they are.


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## Michael A. Brown

There are several reasons why some people are doing it.


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## kingsfan

dubbizle said:


> StargateFan-Unfortunately I think a lot of people on here think they own their partner and want to force them to do and behave the way they want and not accept them for who they are.


If you think so, you should do a lot more reading on here. That is not a commonly supported mentality on this board.


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## Trying2figureitout

I do it sometimes its about as close to sex as I get being in a sexless marriage. She pretty much sleeps right through it.


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## StargateFan

Trying2figureitout said:


> I do it sometimes its about as close to sex as I get being in a sexless marriage. She pretty much sleeps right through it.


I think I might wake up if I got squirted on.


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## dubbizle

kingsfan-I do a lot of reading on here,that is how I formed that opinion and why I made that statement..


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## kingsfan

Then I don't what you are reading but I haven't seen that to be something that is felt by even close to the majority here. Sex is vital in a marriage, that seems universally agreed, but even tasks like duty sex, or chore sex, is frowned upon, nevermind "force them to do and behave the way they want and not accept them for who they are."


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## NeedLuv

Sex with the one you love is wonderful. I have done it a few times. I love my wife. If she has to go for a long period of time without sex, then sex beside the one I love is about the closest thing I can imagine. Not nearly as good, but we have to take what we can get sometimes.


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## IndyTMI

I masturbated in front of my wife for the first time yesterday, with her fully conscious of what I was doing. Her curiosity was up, so was mine. She watched in amazement and actually caressed my body and balls toward the end. She laughed when I ejaculated all over my chest. It was actually one of the best orgasm I have ever had jerking off. I told her that the moment of climax is one of the best feelings in the world...the best high one could ever ask for. Oh, how I love that feeling. I'm addicted to Oxytocin!


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## I Notice The Details

aribabe said:


> I'm a big time stress masturbator.... a bad dream, bad day, etc will all have me masturbating in bed next to my husband while he's sleeping. It has nothing to do with him, I've always been that way. I just want that "selfish" release and relaxation for myself in those moments. And i don't see why i"d leave our bed to do that. My husband isn't particularly concerned with my masturbatory habits lol


Good for you Aribabe! I respect and admire your self confidence to do this in bed next to your husband. I am the same way, and my wife has never complained!


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## AnonGuyinhistwenties

I've done a couple times in rougher times. I definitely experienced that passive-aggressive feeling too. Now I just rather wait and express my frustration in the morning, or right there and then if appropriate. If she loves you, and she does, she'll be more than happy to provide sex or at LEAST help you out by touching your body or something. Ninja masturbation is fine if you feel like yourself and miss. right hand need alone time without the wifu.


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## blueskies30

I would love to watch my husband jack off, but he is very very private witht hat sort of thing. I've just recently within the last 12 months have been able to ask him sexual questions about him jacking off and he actually truthfully answers me. He won't ever masterbate if he has me. Hed rather be inside me than resort to jacking off. Ive never really told him no, nit for many many years. 

Hes working out of state right now, so I masterbate a lot now, but I also masterbated while he was home before he ahd to work out of state. Our sexlife in the past was not satisfying for me. I never wanteed him to catch me, so I would do it in the bathroom. I would hide my vibrator in the bathroom. Ive never been caught but he did find my vibrator once and call me to the bathroom to use it on me. I've never used my vibrator in our bed with him in the bed with me. I do have an interest in getting the courage up to use my vibrator for him to cathc me...I'd like to see what his reaction is. 

I'd love to watch him jack off and then be able to take over. I don't think that will ever happen though.


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## blueskies30

IndyTM said:


> I masturbated in front of my wife for the first time yesterday, with her fully conscious of what I was doing. Her curiosity was up, so was mine. She watched in amazement and actually caressed my body and balls toward the end. She laughed when I ejaculated all over my chest. It was actually one of the best orgasm I have ever had jerking off. I told her that the moment of climax is one of the best feelings in the world...the best high one could ever ask for. Oh, how I love that feeling. I'm addicted to Oxytocin!


I'm addicted to oxytocin too


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## dubbizle

blueskies30-you want hin to do it,put his hand around his package,then put your hand around his hand and start moving it up and down and just start telling him how hot you are feeling and how you always wanted to see that and play with his balls and anything else you can get to.

You could also bring out your Vib at the same time and just go for it,he wants to see you do it for sure so do it it for him.


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## jaquen

blueskies30 said:


> I would love to watch my husband jack off, but he is very very private witht hat sort of thing. I've just recently within the last 12 months have been able to ask him sexual questions about him jacking off and he actually truthfully answers me. He won't ever masterbate if he has me. Hed rather be inside me than resort to jacking off. Ive never really told him no, nit for many many years.
> 
> Hes working out of state right now, so I masterbate a lot now, but I also masterbated while he was home before he ahd to work out of state. Our sexlife in the past was not satisfying for me. I never wanteed him to catch me, so I would do it in the bathroom. I would hide my vibrator in the bathroom. Ive never been caught but he did find my vibrator once and call me to the bathroom to use it on me. I've never used my vibrator in our bed with him in the bed with me. I do have an interest in getting the courage up to use my vibrator for him to cathc me...I'd like to see what his reaction is.
> 
> I'd love to watch him jack off and then be able to take over. I don't think that will ever happen though.


Have you ever just taken him to the bedroom, disrobed him, and told him to masturbate while you either watch, or you use your vibrator while watching him get off?


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## Chris Taylor

I've masturbated in bed before while my wife slept next to me. I'll be aroused, she won't be interested. I'll try to sleep, she'll nod off. If I can't get to sleep, I'll masturbate. Yeah, I'm too lazy to get up and do it in the bathroom. Besides, once I climax I like just laying there and falling asleep.


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## Maneo

As the posts in this thread have demonstrated, there are multiple reasons for self gratification while in bed next to your partner. Some good, some bad. It would be a mistake to ascribe one's feelings about this to others.


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## EnjoliWoman

Hm. I would just see it as an invitation like "come on, it'll be fun!". I've done it with the intent of waking and arousing my partner so they would join in.


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## Wiserforit

There can be many reasons for it. Like if one of you is sick, and neither of you has a hang-up about it.

There are people who do it to humiliate the other spouse, sure. Context means everything. Like calling out her little sister's name while doing it. 

But if one spouse has higher drive than the other, and the lower drive spouse wants to actively deprive the other of release... that's petty control-freaky jealousy.


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## StargateFan

Wiserforit said:


> There can be many reasons for it. Like if one of you is sick, and neither of you has a hang-up about it.
> 
> There are people who do it to humiliate the other spouse, sure. Context means everything. *Like calling out her little sister's name while doing it. *
> 
> But if one spouse has higher drive than the other, and the lower drive spouse wants to actively deprive the other of release... that's petty control-freaky jealousy.


I think I would rather sneak up on a grizzly bear and kick him in the nuts than do that. The odds of survival would be much higher.:rofl:


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## ankh

blueskies30 said:


> I would love to watch my husband jack off, but he is very very private witht hat sort of thing. I've just recently within the last 12 months have been able to ask him sexual questions about him jacking off and he actually truthfully answers me. He won't ever masterbate if he has me. Hed rather be inside me than resort to jacking off. Ive never really told him no, nit for many many years.
> 
> Hes working out of state right now, so I masterbate a lot now, but I also masterbated while he was home before he ahd to work out of state. Our sexlife in the past was not satisfying for me. I never wanteed him to catch me, so I would do it in the bathroom. I would hide my vibrator in the bathroom. Ive never been caught but he did find my vibrator once and call me to the bathroom to use it on me. I've never used my vibrator in our bed with him in the bed with me. I do have an interest in getting the courage up to use my vibrator for him to cathc me...I'd like to see what his reaction is.
> 
> I'd love to watch him jack off and then be able to take over. I don't think that will ever happen though.


Do you think you will ever arrive at a point with him where you can both sit across from each other while you both masturbate? I love watching my wife masturbating. Imagine the walls that would tumble down if you could get to that point? I have said it elsewhere here, but a masturbating woman is just heavenly. I know your hubby would love watching you play!


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## ankh

I hope I didn't end this thread. There must be other comments about the virtues of Masturbation. Share!


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## jaquen

ankh said:


> I hope I didn't end this thread. There must be other comments about the virtues of Masturbation. Share!


As long as you promise that you're not masturbating, or leaking pre-cum, to the stories being told...


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## ankh

Cross my heart, hope to die, etc etc...


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## NelsonTrouble

If I were to roll over and the hubs was getting busy with his hand... fine as long as it seemed like i was invited to the party. If it seemed like it was a "personal" moment that wasn't for sharing, then he would need to take it somewhere personal and make it private... creepy.


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## ankh

That is fair, Nelson.


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## RandomDude

Masturbating by myself was a great way to start a fight back in the day.

Nowadays hmmm... maybe I should try it and see how my wife reacts. For curioscity's sake


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## Gseries

donny64 said:


> Wow, I may do this several times a month! W is sound asleep, neither of us initiated before hand, or she was just exhausted. She goes to sleep, and I somehow get horny to where sleep seems impossible. So I take care of it. I do try to avoid waking her, but am hiding nothing. There is no passive-aggressive reason behind it. Nothing more than being horny and wanting to take care of it and go to sleep.
> 
> The only angst she has with it is if she wakes up in the middle of it, she says I should have woken her so she could watch or take part! But, experience does tell me that she needs her sleep, so I try to avoid waking her.
> 
> Not once that I recall have I done it after being turned down. If she's tired, there's usually no time to initiate...she's OUT like a light in a minute! If she's not tired, I don't get turned down.
> 
> We're incredibly open with each other, so I don't find it strange at all. And it is certainly not passive aggressive or some kink I have. She's asleep, I'm horny, I take care of it if I can't sleep.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Totally agree. No deep meaning or psych evaluate required. She's tired, I'm horny. Mission complete, end of story.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Notice The Details

Gseries said:


> Totally agree. No deep meaning or psych evaluate required. She's tired, I'm horny. Mission complete, end of story.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Same here. That's the way we roll in our home as well.


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## I Notice The Details

I dusted off this old thread because I just walked into the bedroom at 9:05 PM....and on my pillow are some "tasty" digital pics of my wife, a pair of her panties, a bottle of Astroglide lube, and a hand written note which I haven't read yet. 

It may seem weird to others, but this is HER way of telling me to enjoy myself tonight in bed. She is in peri-menopause...and has been experiencing an unexpected period for the past 5 days. I also know she is tired, and she knows I am wanting to "maul" her. (she likes this word)

I must say that my Princess does keep things interesting... I wonder if she will join in and lend a hand, quietly watch me, or sleep thru my Stallion polishing...Either way, I give her credit for initiating this tonight.


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## themagicalbeing2013

I have done this one time.. I did it because I was frustrated with the situation.. she did not wake up.. so I guess it was useless trying to complain about our sexual situation this way.. I kind of felt bad about it at the end.. because i felt ignored again..


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## 2ntnuf

diwali123 said:


> I don't get it! I just don't. I see so many people posting about this and how they weren't sure what he/she was doing or didn't want to confront.
> First off, how big is your bed that you can't tell what they are doing?
> How do people have the gall to do this? are they hoping to get caught?
> It's just so bizarre to me. And how do you do that without shaking the bed and making noise?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I will say it might be possible for a me to pull it off(pun intended) without shaking the bed too much if I was really really horny, but I can't imagine my wife not awakening. 

As far as what she could get away with? I'm not sure. I have been known to sleep through plenty of thunderstorms. I've slept through lots in the past. I don't sleep as deeply as I did. I truly don't think she could have done it without awakening me.

I could do it with little noise. I don't believe she could.

Edit: I think it's just ignored out of embarrassment or empathy.


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## Gseries

I thought dusting off an old thread was a euphemism...pretty cool wife with the digital pictures. My new plan is to sneak downstairs. Trying to be quiet makes it take longer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mineforever

Found out by accident the other day the big guy likes to join in. ;-) I first asked him if he ever masterbated anymore after we had spent almost 3 hours fooling around ... he is suffering from medication induced ED....I was tired and when he then asked me if I did I said, "sure almost every day in the morning". Yeah not one of my brightest moments. Well I have a visitor almost every morning now standing over me asking if I need any help....once he got over the pouting we discovered a whole new turn on...I like him watching and he likes watching....plus he likes to be the extra set oh hands ... he says he gets to focus on the double DD 's for once.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mineforever

Never to old to learn something new!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gseries

My W masturbates everyday but I'm not invited, so I'm jealous. Your H is a lucky guy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brendan

its a good stress release to masturbate in bed next to eachother


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## Happyquest

mineforever said:


> Found out by accident the other day the big guy likes to join in. ;-) I first asked him if he ever masterbated anymore after we had spent almost 3 hours fooling around ... he is suffering from medication induced ED....I was tired and when he then asked me if I did I said, "sure almost every day in the morning". Yeah not one of my brightest moments. Well I have a visitor almost every morning now standing over me asking if I need any help....once he got over the pouting we discovered a whole new turn on...I like him watching and he likes watching....plus he likes to be the extra set oh hands ... he says he gets to focus on the double DD 's for once.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Lucky lucky man. Nothing hotter than watching a woman bring herself pleasure. I love to supply the fantasys for my wife at times. I talk out a fantasys while she takes care of things.


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## I Notice The Details

My wive's note on my pillow last night said: 

"I thought you might like these (referring to the pictures). Enjoy them but leave the bedroom door open just a crack. Go slow. Take your time. I will come in when I can no longer resist watching you. Love_____"

Needless to say, the Stallion polishing was fantastic!!! She is very talented and quite "handy"! I give her lots of credit for doing this at a time when sex was not at the top of her list!


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## SimplyAmorous

diwali123 said:


> I don't get it! I just don't. I see so many people posting about this and how they weren't sure what he/she was doing or didn't want to confront.
> First off, how big is your bed that you can't tell what they are doing?
> How do people have the gall to do this? are they hoping to get caught?
> It's just so bizarre to me. And how do you do that without shaking the bed and making noise?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well for us in our past.. it went like this... I have ALWAYS had more energy and pep over my husband, he used to complain I kept him up too late at night.... and suckingly, I would get horny in the middle of the night, and due to NOT wanting to bother him THINKING he wouldn't want woke up... I took matters into my own hands.... yep, right beside him.. 

Half the time (or more) I DID wake him up BECAUSE I WANTED HIM EVERY SINGLE TIME over that... but I was trying to be "considerate" . He pretty much slept like a LOG.. 
Me - I am the light sleeper. 

He never knew I did, and I learned he didn't ... Ridiculous ... since this discovery on how we missed each other, I've never done it since... He wants me to come to him every single time... and I love that!


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## Hopefull363

I've woken up to this a couple of times. We were both probably tired when we went to bed. If I wake up to it I just roll over and we have great sex. He's woken up to me rubbing my azz in his crotch while we were both sleeping. I must have been having a great dream. That also leads to sex. When the urge strikes it strikes. When I don't wake up I guess he finishes himself. I guess it's no big deal to me because we have a lot of sex.


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## Happyquest

I think its hot not laying in bed next to your spouse but catching your spouse rubbing one out. Nothing hotter than a cracked bedroom door and on the other side you see your spouse taking care of business. Do you remain quiet and watch or push the door open and offer some help?


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## I Notice The Details

Happyquest said:


> I think its hot not laying in bed next to your spouse but catching your spouse rubbing one out. Nothing hotter than a cracked bedroom door and on the other side you see your spouse taking care of business. Do you remain quiet and watch or push the door open and offer some help?


:iagree: Apparently, my Princess likes to watch and then lend a hand. I could tell she was turned on by it. Great idea and very loving suggestion from her!!!!! Just what the Stallion needed. :smthumbup:


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## unlovedunfulfilled

I masturbate often. I wouldn't care if my husband was next to me or not. I prefer to do it when I'm home alone though, which is kinda my way of thumbing my nose at him for not satisfying me. I'm sure the neighbors can hear me through the window cause I'm quite vocal and feel no inhibition when I'm alone. I have the best orgasms when I'm alone, and the only orgasms I have are the ones I give myself. How annoying. :-/ I know where to touch myself. I don't have to give myself instructions. I obviously care what I like and how I like it and for how long I like it. I take time with myself. My husband doesn't take time with me. Sometimes, during the rare times that we have sex, masturbation would be incorporated in. He still couldn't take his time with me. I ended up doing it myself while he watched. *yawns* So, when I'd orgasm in front of him, he should have felt like sh*t cause he wasn't the one causing those sounds I was making. Knowing him though, he probably didn't even feel slighted. *sighs*

Anyway, I am pretty sure he doesn't masturbate in the bed by me, but I am certain he does in the shower when he is bathing. It doesn't really bother me except for those times when he hasn't slept with me in months, but he is in the shower wasting himself to fantasies of women he'll never have when he has a real, flesh and blood woman right here.


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## Zatol Ugot?

I Notice The Details said:


> My wive's note on my pillow last night said:
> 
> "I thought you might like these (referring to the pictures). Enjoy them but leave the bedroom door open just a crack. Go slow. Take your time. I will come in when I can no longer resist watching you. Love_____"
> 
> Needless to say, the Stallion polishing was fantastic!!! She is very talented and quite "handy"! I give her lots of credit for doing this at a time when sex was not at the top of her list!


This is awesomely fantastic! I would go nuts if my wife did something like this. Good for you!:smthumbup:


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## Gseries

unlovedunfulfilled said:


> I masturbate often. I wouldn't care if my husband was next to me or not. I prefer to do it when I'm home alone though, which is kinda my way of thumbing my nose at him for not satisfying me. I'm sure the neighbors can hear me through the window cause I'm quite vocal and feel no inhibition when I'm alone. I have the best orgasms when I'm alone, and the only orgasms I have are the ones I give myself. How annoying. :-/ I know where to touch myself. I don't have to give myself instructions. I obviously care what I like and how I like it and for how long I like it. I take time with myself. My husband doesn't take time with me. Sometimes, during the rare times that we have sex, masturbation would be incorporated in. He still couldn't take his time with me. I ended up doing it myself while he watched. *yawns* So, when I'd orgasm in front of him, he should have felt like sh*t cause he wasn't the one causing those sounds I was making. Knowing him though, he probably didn't even feel slighted. *sighs*
> 
> Anyway, I am pretty sure he doesn't masturbate in the bed by me, but I am certain he does in the shower when he is bathing. It doesn't really bother me except for those times when he hasn't slept with me in months, but he is in the shower wasting himself to fantasies of women he'll never have when he has a real, flesh and blood woman right here.


How are you certain of him in the shower? I thought I had sanctuary there. Maybe you can tell me what the giveaways are so I can be aware...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Notice The Details

Zatol Ugot? said:


> This is awesomely fantastic! I would go nuts if my wife did something like this. Good for you!:smthumbup:


Thanks Zatol....


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## marty39

this can be like someone said: passive-agresive, but also can boost sex life, sometimes it is exciting to hear or watch or just to know that partner near you masturbates. Personally like time by time to do this with my existing and with some of my previous partners


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