# How can I tell my fiance that I have a small johnson?



## Donaldson (Nov 1, 2013)

Hello everyone,

I have a huge problem. I'm not a virgin and I have had sex before. The problem is that my penis is very small. It is very embarrassing to discuss but it is around 2 1/2 inches erect. I've tried various methods to try to enlarge it but all that stuff is fiction.

I met a incredible woman 8 months ago and we have never had sex. She never pushed the issue in the beginning but when she began to push, I freaked out and told her I was a virgin. Everything was going good at the time and I didn't want to mess things up.

So now, we are engaged. She thinks I want to wait for marriage to have sex. Our wedding date is coming soon and I'm getting scared. She sometimes talks dirty to me and I talk dirty back. She says that she wants to show me a good time and she really thinks it will be my first time. 

So what should I do, I'm very ashamed of this and I don't know how much longer I can hide it. All the women I was with before have all made fun of me about this and I even had one that called me centipede. I don't know how she will handle this but maybe I'm overreacting. Anyone have any advice or has went through something similar?


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## beautiful_seclusion (Oct 22, 2013)

You NEED to tell her and you need to have sex with her before you get married. I know there's a lot of pressure on men to be big, but someone who loves you will find other ways to spice up the bedroom. There's plenty in the way of toys and so on. But this has to be worked out before the wedding or it is very likely to fail. She will feel deceived either way as you did lie, but she will additionally feel trapped if you come clean after being married and far more likely to leave.


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## Donaldson (Nov 1, 2013)

Should I just tell her about the size but not mention that I'm not a virgin? Would that even matter to a woman?


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

say "hey babe i got a small johnson" see easy


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

You need therapy. I almost never give that advice but seriously you need professional help. Your unit is not you. Now that you read that I suggest you go and never look back. The women of tam are ruthless in this department. They're all married to men with 9 Internet inches and they aren't afraid to rub it in.


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## Donaldson (Nov 1, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> You need therapy. I almost never give that advice but seriously you need professional help. Your unit is not you. Now that you read that I suggest you go and never look back. The women of tam are ruthless in this department. They're all married to men with 9 Internet inches and they aren't afraid to rub it in.


I was kind of afraid of that before I posted but I figured I would take a chance since there are a wide range of topics on here.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

You asked what you should do. The question is what will you do? When will you tell her? Before she walks down the aisle with you or after? 

You've already called your character into question by lying to her. Is it your intention to damn your character by marrying her without letting her know?

I sympathise. I understand why. But you didn't improve your likelihood of marrying her by lying to her. If she loved you more than she cares about your size she will always be bothered by your deception. If she cares and you get her to marry you without disclosure she will be trapped. Then imagine the fallout when she divorces you and tells everyone why... 

That might happen even if you disclose now because people will wonder why she broke off the engagement 

Thinking about it, she might not break it off if she is embarrassed about the circumstances. Or she may struggle with the love she has for you versus any concern she has about sex. She might not want to appear shallow. 

She may end up marrying you even though she is unhappy. 

Based on that, my advice is to tell her now and if she stays with you put off the wedding for 6 months to a year so you can tell if she stayed for the right reason. 

You would end up regretting marrying her without being certain. An unhappy wife is no fun and an unhappy wife that doesn't want sex with you is soul destroying.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Darkflower (Dec 2, 2011)

This reads like a perv into Small Penis Humiliation (yes, it's a fetish) looking for some free titillation.

Sorry if I'm wrong, OP. But that's the assumption I'm going with right now.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I would tell her, if there is a issue in anyway it's better to know before the wedding rather than after.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Oh, and the question about whether to fess up about not being a virgin makes me wonder if lying is a part of your character in general. 

It strikes me as very juvenile of you to even ask that question. 

Would women even care about that sort of thing? Which thing? Jesus. Grow up.

Women don't want to marry selfish liars. People always have "reasons" for their lied but they are always about their concern for themselves over others. The reason is just an excuse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## beautiful_seclusion (Oct 22, 2013)

Yes it would bother me if a fiancé told me he was a virgin and was not. It's about honesty, not the actual details of your sexual past. If she really cares about you she will probably be annoyed but understand you were scared of rejection. But either way, she will figure it out eventually and having that happen after the wedding is a sure way to cause problems. 

I also personally think it's very unwise to not have sex before you are married. You don't want surprises in that area, for both of you. There's enough pressure with making that commitment; adding in being new to sex with your partner just will create more feelings of being trapped if you're not perfectly compatible. Sexual differences can be worked out with couples, but I really think it's best to do this before you are married so both of you don't have the pressure and end up feeling trapped. 

I don't know if I'm explaining what I mean well, but my opinion is 1. Be entirely honest and 2. Make sure you are both sexually compatible to both of your satisfaction before the marriage. You have no idea what she is like in bed either, and that's a huge risk when you are committing to marriage like that.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Premarital sex does not indicate compatibility. If it did all those guys who had agreat sex life before marriage wouldn't be here asking how they can fix their sexless marriage. There is so much more toagood sex life than the physical act.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Donaldson (Nov 1, 2013)

Please understand me when I say I'm not a pathological liar. I only lied to her out of fear. We really had a good thing going and I didn't want to kill all of that in one night. The problem is that the lie has grown out of control and I don't think I can tell her the truth about not being a virgin. She has asked me about it multiple times and she wonders how I kept it in my pants all these years.

I guess it's fair for me to try to tell her about the size before the wedding. I'm just very afraid that she may hate me for it. From the way she talks dirty to me, I don't think she could put up with a man with a small johnson.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Do you think ruining the relationship a little at a time is better? 

I don't think you are ready to be married at all. 

You think and act like a boy instead of man. 

She appears to care about sex and about your alleged virginity. She has wondered about how you remained a virgin. She messy think you are lying and that's why she asks about it. 

Look, this entire thread is ridiculous. You are either going to be a stand up guy that can be trusted or you aren't. I can see you aren't likely to be that guy so just accept the disaster you are creating and continue to not give a damn about her. It is all about you and that's all that matters 

I feel very sorry for this woman. She had no idea how immature and dishonest you are. You are going to have a blast when she find out. And she well find out that you aren't a virgin. Your penis size can't remain a secret.

Do you think that a small penis gives you the right to lie to someone? Do you think that you have the right to continue to lie because SHE MIGHT ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THE THINGS YOU LIED ABOUT?

heaven forbid one of my daughters should meet a boy like you.


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## Donaldson (Nov 1, 2013)

clipclop2 said:


> Do you think ruining the relationship a little at a time is better?
> 
> I don't think you are ready to be married at all.
> 
> ...



I'm not acting like a boy. I lied to protect our relationship. I know my size can't remain a secret but I just don't know how to hit her with this. I care a lot about her and I want to make our marriage work. I've put 100% into this and she knows it. 

So yes, I did lie. Not the most noble thing to do but I did it out of fear. I will probably just tell her the truth about my size but I will not tell her about the virgin part. IMO, that would just be creating a big problem out of nothing.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

clipclop2 I think you are being to harsh on the OP, is true that the lie can bring a set of new problems in the marriage, but you have to understand that this is a complex to him, he don't lie to manipulate or to deceive, he lies because this is a problem of his very self image and how he thinks others will perceive him.

Donaldson the true will come to light, if you are afraid of she rejecting you after knowing your secret, then what good is there to tell her after the wedding, she can rejected you anyway but now you will be suffering from the wedding and divorce expenses.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

Donaldson have you considered surgery, i have hear the can put 2 extra inches, also i have hear of a method called jelqing who is supposed to be really efective.

size not everything as they say, but i can understand why you feel discouraged by it


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

manticore said:


> clipclop2 I think you are being to harsh on the OP, is true that the lie can bring a set of new problems in the marriage, but you have to understand that this is a complex to him, he don't lie to manipulate or to deceive, he lies because this is a problem of his very self image and how he thinks others will perceive him.


Wrong. He absolutely lied to manipulate her. 1. He told her he was a virgin. 2. He said he wanted to wait until marriage because he was a virgin. 3. He hasn't told her about his condition. 4. He plans to spring it all on her after he has trapped her in marriage. 

His reasons? She might have rejected him if she knew the truth. Yeah, straight up manipulation. OP, if this is real, tell her now and let the chips fall where they may.


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

clearly you have nothing that complexed you for intimacy, good for you, I, like the OP have somethinmg in my body i don't like, I am male but when i was kid, it was detected that i had a lump of fat in my right chest, i had surgery, but the color and form of my nipple looks different form the left one, for many years this complexed me.

I always avoided pools and event where men usually take their shirts.

I am not telling you that what the OP is doing is right thing, I already pointed that he have to tell the true and why, but OP came here for support and understanding, a little of empathy, if you can come down from your pedestal will be well apreciated.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

You really must let her know before the wedding.

If you are too shy to come out and say it then you will just have to be overcome with lust when she talks dirty to you one day and say you can't wait. Then she will find out for herself.

As for coming clean about not being a virgin - I don't know if there is much to be gained from telling her, other than clearing your conscience.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

OP if you cannot be vulnerable with the woman you want to marry then break it off. You have created far greater problems than what you feel you lack south of your waistline.

I do feel for you. My observation is that many women these days are more shallow about this issue than ever before. I believe that the easy access to porn has a great deal to do with this attitude.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

buy a average sized dildo. then put the moves on her casualy tell her as your getting ready to fool around and then tell her I got this(the dildo/viberator) to help if you need it.

read her reaction if she seems put off then most likley a marriage to her won't make it.

read up on oral sex and how to give a woman an orgasm with your tounge/fingers. make love to her mind. 

good luck.

if it don't work out realise that there are woman out there that have small vaj vaj"s and try to hook up with one of them.

beside most women don't have an orgasm with penetration anyhow so if your oral skill are superb then they will be much more open to your size.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I don't believe that anyone who thinks lying to their partner "for the relationship" is a good thing is ready to be married. What that sort of statement really means is "I'm entitled to what I want, even if I have to lie and deceive someone I profess to love in order to get it." 

Guys, really, if you found out your virgin bride actually had a sexual past she was hiding and lying to you about, you'd hit the roof. And you'd be right to. No marriage should be based on lies about who the parties are as sexual beings. Do people - men and women - do this to their partners? Yes, they do. That doesn't make it right, or okay, or the smart thing to do. It's manipulative and dishonest. And people who are manipulative and dishonest typically don't make great spouses over the long haul. If for no other reason than it's hard to have an emotionally intimate marriage with someone you're lying to and hiding your real self from.


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## ladywillow (Oct 31, 2013)

OP, I would be very upset about this is you lied to me about everything that you've lied to her about. I think the point that you're not getting is that you're not even giving her a chance to reject or accept you, you're that away from her. You're not allowing her to decide.

In my opinion, you're being selfish. My husband is average but there is so much more to him that makes up him than his penis. He's funny, a great provider, compassionate, silly, and in bed he gives 100%. Take some of the other advice too. Maybe you could include some toys, oral, and other sexual stuff. 

But at this point, you need to come clean BEFORE the marriage if you want a chance at being with this girl.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

OP, If you dont tell her, we will probably be able to link her to this thread when she comes here looking for advice!


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

You are you to have to fess up eventually, the longer you wait the more damage you will cuase her. Has your sex life been fulfilling with your other partners? If not, maybe a sex therapist can help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

RClawson said:


> OP if you cannot be vulnerable with the woman you want to marry then break it off. You have created far greater problems than what you feel you lack south of your waistline.
> 
> I do feel for you. My observation is that many women these days are more shallow about this issue than ever before. I believe that the easy access to porn has a great deal to do with this attitude.


:iagree:

I also agree that women are more demanding but I don't call it shallow. Men can oogle a woman's breast size and speak longingly about a full rack. Men have been shallow, outspokenly so, for a long time and women are only recently saying the same things about men that men say about women.

Go look at the boobie thread, you don't see many men calling each other out for "being shallow."

An average sized penis is what women expect and an average sized penis can do lovely things. When you consider anatomy, the Gspot is only about an inch or so inside the vagina so as long as you can hit that target with oomph, you're good to go in terms of pleasure.

My H is average and I get great pleasure. His is very wide and that is very good for me. Length doesn't mean nearly as much as girth. But sometimes we also use a dildo that is slightly larger and that just brings intensity and speed to my orgasm.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I also agree that women are more demanding but I don't call it shallow. Men can oogle a woman's breast size and speak longingly about a full rack. Men have been shallow, outspokenly so, for a long time and women are only recently saying the same things about men that men say about women.
> 
> ...


For the record Anon I think men that obsess about boob size are shallow as well. I am not sure if I would put boobs and penises in an apples to apples category either. I am well aware that many women with smaller breasts are quite self conscious about it however I also believe if we took a poll and asked what is sexier small breasts or small penises that it would not be much of a contest.


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## oddball (Sep 5, 2012)

OP you will find a more supportive environment for your problem at measurection.com. It is a site dedicated to men with a small penis. There is a section for those with a micropenis.

I dont condone that you lied, but I think you are being judged pretty harshly here.

Honesty is the best policy in relationships though


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

You should tell her the truth about both - the size and also your lying about being a virgin. However tell her the second in conjunction with the first and explain about why you said you were a virgin (that in fact you were worried about the first issue and used the being a virgin lie to not have to deal with it). She should understand and appreciate why you lied (if she doesn't then maybe she isn't the right person for you). Which brings me to the second issue. Don't tell her the size - just say that you feel you have a small one and would disappoint her and/or that you were embarrassed. Now how she reacts to this will also be telling.

The other downside of this is that lets say she forgives you for the "virgin" lie and can enjoy sex with you - she might start to question your confidence because she might view this as unattractive (even more so than the size of your penis). So you need to start working on your own confidence and show her that you are a confident yet loving man. This will make you a lot more attractive to her.

Good luck!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

clipclop2 said:


> Do you think ruining the relationship a little at a time is better?
> 
> I don't think you are ready to be married at all.
> 
> You think and act like a boy instead of man.


Wow. Don't let the compassion hit you on the ass on the way out the door. 

How many small penises were you born with, for comparison?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

There's at least one book out there that tackles rethinking penetrative sex as the end-all/be-all of sexuality - SimplyAmorous made a link to it here and I will pass it on

Let Me Count the Ways: Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse: Marty Klein, Riki Robbins: 9780874779561: Amazon.com: Books

As someone who is now in the process of dealing with mid-life Peyronie's disease, I can tell you you're probably going to have to learn to satisfy your partner in other ways, and you'll both have to be OK with that. But you have to be fair to her and to yourself *before* you get married.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

You don't need therapy. You're insecure about your size. That's it. We're all insecure about one thing or another; it doesn't necessarily mean we all need therapy.

Tell her. If this woman loves you for who you are, she will unconditionally accept you and your size. If not, (and I hope this isn't the case) it isn't meant to be and you're better off without her.


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## jay1365 (May 22, 2013)

Tough one. As I've told before, I never asked, but wife volunteered info that first bf was "huge". I will always wonder if she thinks she's missing something with my small side of average unit. It has had me contemplating suicide in the past. There is nothing good about having a small unit. Don't get married unless you can learn to accept it. And don't go looking for validation online. Women always qualify their statements on this matter. For example, "It doesn't matter if the guy knows what he's doing", which really means "All things being equal, bigger is better".


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

my wife thinks I am a bit too big...especially the girth
the girlfriend before her thought I was too big
the 2 girls before that thought I was a tad on the small size

wtf...you never know...considering for a lot of women its not about that, its about clit stimulation and the g spot isnt that far inside the vagigi typically...

what have you got to loose...just sleep with her and dont say a word about it...chances are it wont be an issue..anf it it is...just tell her "my penis is not too small...your vagina is too big"


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Time for show and tell. Do it before matrimony.
It might not matter but if it does it's best to know before you make things permanent.


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## Antman (Oct 19, 2013)

Mate, I'm going to tell you a story that will hopefully give you some insight and perhaps the courage to tell your STBW the truth.
I've slept with over 100 women. The vast majority of them clearly had a good time and were keen to see me again. For most of that time I assumed that I was average or maybe slightly below, even though less than 5 women had said as much.......
So, a few years ago I went looking for "average penis size" and found that my 7 x 5.25 penis was in fact slightly ABOVE average.
My point being that pretty much all men are concerned with their size. Yes, even the guy that you think has a massive **** is still wondering if he needs more. You are not alone.
I spoke to my wife about this thread and she said that she has come across a "small" penis before and it did nothing for her. Having said that, my wife can orgasm quite easily from PIV sex so for her, not being able to get that is a deal breaker. She went on to say that she has a few friends who've married men with smaller penises and they're quite happy because they rarely orgasmed from PIV even before meeting their husband .
She also went on to say that she would be gutted if I had done this to her.
What I'm saying is that it's all relative. You absolutely need to tell her the truth. If she can't get past it, move on and find someone who can. You're married for the rest of your life and deception is a poor start to that journey.


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## lifeisbetterthanalternat (Apr 24, 2012)

In the end the truth will set you free. Forget the harsh comments here. I feel for you and can see why you may have done what you did. Many people here,including myself may have told a lie or half truth so not sure why the harsh judgement. Doesn't make it right but, you need to tell her. Ultimately she may find out you were not a virgin or even if she doesn't you will always know. 

I would tell her your motives..that you did it because you were scared that you would loose her...that you wanted to her to learn to love all the other things you can offer her and reassure her that your love her. 

It is conceivable that she has some idea of your size if you have gotten hot and heavy. I dated women who could be totally satisfied with my tongue and middle finger. Not all women need a big one to get off. Vaginas come in all sizes. some women are big and need allot to fill them. Others are not so much.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Donaldson said:


> Should I just tell her about the size but not mention that I'm not a virgin? Would that even matter to a woman?


I don't think people form a connection without at lest passionate kissing. How do you hide an erect penis when you have full body contact? If she does not feel an erection would she think that he is not attracted to her. 

It is much better for you to tell her now. Believe me she will be hurt by the deception more than anything. Tell her now and if she loves you she will work it out with you. 

Have you researched the issue? You have to be a man with a plan. Instead of shame, have knowledge of how to please her and how she can please you. 

I'd suggest IC to help you approach this with confidence. Be the best man you can be and you will attract a woman who will love you. She will want to do what it takes to have a satisfying sex life with you. 

If it does not work out then you will have gained some valuable relationship skills. I am certain there are men who are smaller than average who are loved and who are married.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Donaldson said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> I have a huge problem. I'm not a virgin and I have had sex before. The problem is that my penis is very small. It is very embarrassing to discuss but it is around 2 1/2 inches erect. I've tried various methods to try to enlarge it but all that stuff is fiction.
> 
> ...




Lieing is no way to start a marriage. Fess up and don't worry about it. If she is a keeper, she won't care about the size of your equipment. My hubs is overly large...he worried because he was so big. Have a little more faith in the women in picked out to marry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IndiaInk (Jun 13, 2012)

I have a lovely, wonderful, smart friend with a great job---I think to any guy she would be considered a total catch.

She started dating a transgendered guy a couple years ago...

I hadn't known anyone trans before him (neither had my friend). At first, I was just surprised at how utterly male he was...I couldn't see him as ever having been a female, even if if I wanted to. I was stunned at the effects of testosterone to change one so completely. 

One night we had a small party together (this included a couple straight, all-american type guys)...and I wondered how my friend's boyfriend would react to them. I kinda expected him to really feel the need to prove his 'masculinity' throughout the night...to morph into a_ little Napoleon._ 

Yet, none of that happened, he was so surprisingly "chill" always... and I realized it was because he just accepted himself completely. 

When they were first intimate he still had 'his original parts' . My friend told me all about it. There wasn't any discussion, or semi-shameful confession beforehand...as with everything else, it just "was what it was" and he took the lead, was never insecure at all, and they great sex.

I asked my friend what it was like, if she was shocked, "Well", she said, " I mean, it was a vagina". Her attitude was basically-----so what? He was still a "guy" in every way necessary to attract her. So my friend didn't ever "need" to feel "weird" or insecure about it, because HE DIDN'T feel that need. 

They're married now and he's had gender reassignment surgery, but not because my friend needed that to happen. 


My biggest take away from him was---if you can really accept yourself---other people will fall in line.

I understand insecurity. I've struggled with it my entire life.


But it's amazing how vastly improved one's life is when they can just deeply accept themselves. That is such an incredibly attractive quality in others---because so many of us struggle with it---yet that's what you really need to be asking yourself...

It's not: How can I tell my fiance about my small penis?

It's: _How can I accept myself so completely that I would never need to consider having some sort of "shameful confession-esque" conversation over something of which I should not be ashamed? 
_


It's YOUR OWN SHAME you feel----It's YOUR OWN DISGUST and DISAPPROVAL you imagine she'll feel. 

That's what you need to work on healing.


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## cheese puff (Jul 24, 2011)

don't worry about it tell her. all the internet stuff and porn has kinda messed us up on penis size.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Hey I have ED from certain reasons but my wife still loves me after I have lost length


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

cheese puff said:


> don't worry about it tell her. all the internet stuff and porn has kinda messed us up on penis size.


It has? You mean most women don't need two of them inside at once to be satisfied?

I'll be damned.


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## beautiful_seclusion (Oct 22, 2013)

I really think if you are willing to be attentive in bed, penis size won't matter to a lot of women. It's often hard for women to find a guy that will do oral, etc, so if you do that and incorporate toys, any girl that actually is wanting to marry you for the right reasons should be ok. I've actually had trouble with a partner being too big; I couldn't give him real oral because my mouth was literally too small and my teeth would hit him plus I'd be in a ton of pain. So at least you don't have that problem!

And if she does walk, it's going to happen anyway, so what good will making it a divorce rather than a break up do? It's not like you can hide it forever. Tell her the truth and realize no one has what society considers perfect. Be confident; that is far more attractive than any sexual organ.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jay1365 said:


> Tough one. As I've told before, I never asked, but wife volunteered info that first bf was "huge". I will always wonder if she thinks she's missing something with my small side of average unit. It has had me contemplating suicide in the past. There is nothing good about having a small unit. Don't get married unless you can learn to accept it. And don't go looking for validation online. Women always qualify their statements on this matter. For example, "It doesn't matter if the guy knows what he's doing", which really means "All things being equal, bigger is better".



Don't know if this will help but my first was HUGE, and I don't feel like I'm missing one but with my hb. His size is fine, he knows how to use it, and I'm freaking crazy about him, so I'd suggest you not worry about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Darkflower said:


> This reads like a perv into Small Penis Humiliation (yes, it's a fetish) looking for some free titillation.
> 
> Sorry if I'm wrong, OP. But that's the assumption I'm going with right now.


I'm was thinking the same but posted just in case it is a true situation. I don't know how a man could hide this for long.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> I'm was thinking the same but posted just in case it is a true situation. I don't know how a man could hide this for long.


Agreed. Even at 2.5 inches there is pretty much no way she wouldnt have felt it with some kissing/cuddling. I cant NOT get an erection from kissing so even occasionally he'd be busted.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

You cant do anything about the size penis you were dealt. Everyone gets good and bad cards in life. All of us are blessed in some ways and all of us have our challenges. This cant be changed and what cant be changed needs to be accepted. BY YOU. Not your finance - you.

You cant control your penis size but you can control your confidence and you can control your sexual know how. Do your research on how the female body works. You can be the best lover your finance has ever had and it will have nothing to do with the size of your penis. Ask her how to please her and develop some great oral skills and make her sexual dreams reality. If you are uncomfortable, she will be too.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

look everybody here feel for the guy. there's nothing we can do about it its just the way he's built. but denying her choice because he doesn't have choice is very selfish. its manipulative and its wrong. a fact I would go as far to say it evil. 

if this were a guy who were saying that he isn't going to tell his spouse about his affair to protect the marriage to protect the relationship how many people here would say oh well I understand you're right you shouldn't tell her. 

you'll be quite honest if I were her I probably wouldn't stay with him. in fact I know I would. It would be very difficult and it would make me feel like a total jerk but that's not an area that I could deal with. 

and that's leading me to something else. I know people are trying to be very kind but comparing an average guy to someone whos 8 or 9 inches isn't at all comparable to the situation. if this guy gain some weight is penis is going to practically disappear. I don't think in most practical terms a woman who has been with several average size men would be able to seriously handle sex with a man this small. 

so if this guy were to trap me in a marriage it would be hell to pay. 

and yes I get it I understand. he has been dealt a right hand in life. he has had to have suffered a lot of emotional trauma over this. anytime you feel that you have to hide something about yourself you feel like a fraud and you never feel truly accepted and you certainly aren't known. it's a very lonely way to live. 

I think it's is laughable that the OP doesn't want to tell the truth about not being a virgin. I suspect that when he reveals his size she will say to herself well that explains it. 

I'd almost be more impressed with a guy who has had sex because he was willing to take a chance. this guy hasn't been willing to take a chance for to trust her or to do any of the kinds of things that demonstrate that he is ready to be a married man. 

this is a form of bait and switch. 

she may vary will decide to stay with him. But it should be the first choice up front. without being honest I don't see his marriage last 6 months. 

I know I'm being ridiculously honest. but I care a lot about sex and I care a lot about personal integrity. 

and the worst part is this woman is going to feel like such a fool. but there's nothing like being played by someone that you think loves you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I would agree that not telling her up front is a "bait and switch". And the lies will ruin what might be a wonderful relationship. The longer the OP leaves it, the worse it will get, as well. 

C


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Gawd, if I have to read one more "my boyfriend was too big" response to a guy worried about having too little, I'm gonna scream.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I would take a small penis over affliction of character any day of the week. Penis size has no bearing on how good a spouse one will be, how great a person, how successful an employee, how good a father, the ways one is a good citizen, your credit rating, what you will be remembered for by those who love you, how good a friend you are and so on.

However I do feel that the op needs to come clean on this issue prior to marriage. Its a situation that has become very stressful and no marriage needs to begin under this cloud of fear.

I'm concerned that op doesn't have adequate time to work through his own feelings on this matter. At first there might have been a feeling of relief that he bought some time but that time has passed. Op acknowledges he has made an error. This situation is not going to get better by putting it off to the wedding night.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

If it were only a binary choice, I would agree. But it isn't. 

If he isn't honest with her she gets both a man with affliction of character and a small penis.

If she is told and she ends it, a man with poor character and a 7" penis doesn't magically appear in this guy's place. She will have to go out there and find that lout all by herself.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Donaldson said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> I have a huge problem. I'm not a virgin and I have had sex before. The problem is that my penis is very small. It is very embarrassing to discuss but it is around 2 1/2 inches erect. I've tried various methods to try to enlarge it but all that stuff is fiction.
> 
> ...



I would go to the Dr., and get recommended to a penile specialist and get myself made bigger, if that's possible. That's what I would do if I was in your situation. I would do this yesterday.

Many ladies say, its not the size that counts, its the motion of the ocean. We'll, that's all nice and dandy on the surface, but we all know most women like a man who is average or larger sized. Just the way it is.

If she truly loves you, she will understand. If she doesn't, she will leave.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

sinnister said:


> Agreed. Even at 2.5 inches there is pretty much no way she wouldnt have felt it with some kissing/cuddling.


She probably has and thinks it ain't a big thing.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

RClawson said:


> For the record Anon I think men that obsess about boob size are shallow as well.


What about those of us who like small boobs? Are we shallow, too? Or is it only men who like big ones? :scratchhead:

(tongue in cheek. Sort of.)


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## kimd (Oct 12, 2013)

On your wedding night, just show her what you have. If she does not laugh, then you can probably feel confident that she IS a virgin.
As she perhaps has had no one to compare you to.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Jaysus! Just get on with it!!


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## Sudra (Oct 16, 2013)

manfromlamancha said:


> You should tell her the truth about both - the size and also your lying about being a virgin. However tell her the second in conjunction with the first and explain about why you said you were a virgin (that in fact you were worried about the first issue and used the being a virgin lie to not have to deal with it). She should understand and appreciate why you lied (if she doesn't then maybe she isn't the right person for you). Which brings me to the second issue. Don't tell her the size - just say that you feel you have a small one and would disappoint her and/or that you were embarrassed. Now how she reacts to this will also be telling.
> 
> The other downside of this is that lets say she forgives you for the "virgin" lie and can enjoy sex with you - she might start to question your confidence because she might view this as unattractive (even more so than the size of your penis). So you need to start working on your own confidence and show her that you are a confident yet loving man. This will make you a lot more attractive to her.
> 
> Good luck!


THIS!!!!!

The thing you need to come clean about is the lying about being a virgin, not about the size of your penis. And you need to tell her why, so the size will come out.

I don't think this is an issue that would need to be disclosed except it does now because you lied.

I don't feel like men or women need to specifically "confess" that they have small/large breasts, nipples, vagina, clitoris, penis, testicles, hands feet, ears, nose, etc. We simply are who we are and it's up to our potential mate to determine what will or will not work for them. Don't apologize for your penis.

But you do need to share that you lied and why. You've really created a problem where there wasn't one.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

kimd said:


> On your wedding night, just show her what you have. If she does not laugh, then you can probably feel confident that she IS a virgin.
> As she perhaps has had no one to compare you to.


he is the one claiming to be a virgin. 

the OP didn't say how much groping she has done with him. my suspicion in that case without knowledge of its size would be that he has a problem getting aroused. I would never suspect his size. 

well I'm very curious so I hope the OP comes back and tells us what he's decided. 
I suppose if they can make decent enough penises with gender reassignment you could probably do a lot better starting with the real thing. I can just imagine that it would be expensive and it's doubtful that insurance would cover it. 

I would like to know how the friend found the constructed penis. attractive, not attractive, functional, somewhat functional? can he get a decent erection or does he need help? 


cuddle bug has it right. for most women size doesn't matter because we expect most men to be in the five to six inch range. and when discussion turns to size it's typically about the larger sizes. 

since they sell them I have to believe that people use them - there are penile sleaves that some guys will use to provide a different ride for their spouse. but they're also marketed towards guys with ED. 

but this is one of those things where he has to get his fiance to accept him as he is and to discuss some of the options. it's not like he can put one of these on and have her not notice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

Your dishonesty is the greatest issue. You lie and then defend yourself. You seem to have no problem making excuses for lying. I have serious issues with people like that. I hope your girlfriend can get past the lies. And YOU NEED to tell her the truth. It is low down and despicable for people to infect their marriages with lies.

Be a man and tell her the truth. I have zero respect for liars.


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## Marriedand40 (Aug 19, 2013)

AnonPink is right, we ogle women's breasts and all of us will admit that large breasts are sexier than small breasts and if you ask any woman if they want D cups or B cups, they all will say a D. I don't judge a woman if she desires a well hung man, that is her right.

It's the same with us, I am around 6.5 inches, my wife is sweet, she tells me I am around 8. I wish I was! Ha Ha like I don't know but a nice gesture.

Almost every woman would want a 6-8 inch penis, it's human nature. My advice is learn to do great oral, learn to kiss her nipples perfectly, maybe bring some toys in. I understand you are self conscious, who wouldn't be. 

Women watch porn too and they all see men in porn with huge penises. Not that they expect that but nevertheless.

Good luck with this woman. If she leaves you, don't hate her for it, she has a right to her sexual needs and desires too.

If she stays, then good luck to the both of you. I would recommending trying to have sex with her first before getting married. You can tell her, "I wanted to wait but you are so irrestable I had to have you" or something along those lines.

Take care.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

edbopc said:


> Hey I have ED from certain reasons but my wife still loves me after I have lost length


I think that's different.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Married in 40while I agree with the overall message of your post I disagree about all men finding larger breast sexier and all women wishing they had D cups. And certainly women don't have to watch porn to know that there are larger size male members. 

I don't think the OP is coming back. I hope I'm wrong but I don't hold out a lot of hope that he is going to be honest about this thing with her. I feel really sorry for that woman. But he will certainly get his when she finds out and all hell breaks loose.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Seriously folks, telling a guy his 2 1/2 inch rod is not going to matter, is probably misleading. I agree size is not as important to most women than most men think, but it means at least 5 inches. A man's height doesn't matter much either, unless he's 4 feet tall.


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## jay1365 (May 22, 2013)

One of the best quotes I've ever heard about penis size is "if it matters to you, it matters". This little (pun intended) saying has deep (yes) meaning. Like I once told my wife, when I feel desired by you I feel like I've got the biggest one in the world, but when being rejected I feel like the smallest guy in the world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

I would probably leave you for lying about being a virgin.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Donaldson said:


> Please understand me when I say I'm not a pathological liar. I only lied to her out of fear. We really had a good thing going and I didn't want to kill all of that in one night. The problem is that the lie has grown out of control and I don't think I can tell her the truth about not being a virgin. She has asked me about it multiple times and she wonders how I kept it in my pants all these years.
> 
> I guess it's fair for me to try to tell her about the size before the wedding. I'm just very afraid that she may hate me for it. From the way she talks dirty to me, I don't think she could put up with a man with a small johnson.


Would you be happy with a woman who lied to you about having aids only to find out too late? You have a medical condition mate, it's not to be ridiculed but it has to be treated as such.

You can not justify your lies in this department mate, you're being incredibly selfish.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I get hit on a lot. Since I am married I just hold up my ring. Before I was married though, One of my excuses for not being with a girl, Was the hold my pinky up in the air, And with a straight face Tell them that was the size of my Johnson. I have a face that can sell anything And these girls believed me. I would still smile at them and I was supremely confident. To my amazement none of them cared! I had to come up with a different excuse, Because each and every one of these girls would have happily bedded me even with a small unit!

Sure size matters. But confidence and game And skills in the bedroom Blow everything else out of the water.
Work on what's between your ears and get in great shape and really learn about women. Many I know would go fir a Guy that is a great overall package, not just the size of his unit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Marriedand40 said:


> AnonPink is right, we ogle women's breasts and *all of us will admit that large breasts are sexier than small breasts *and if you ask any woman if they want D cups or B cups, they all will say a D. I don't judge a woman if she desires a well hung man, that is her right.
> 
> It's the same with us, I am around 6.5 inches, my wife is sweet, she tells me I am around 8. I wish I was! Ha Ha like I don't know but a nice gesture.
> 
> ...


Not all of us...for me, the point of diminishing returns is the small side of a C cup. A is a bit small, but B is what has always done it for me.

Considering the number of partners my STBW has had, I am positive I am not the biggest, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the smallest either. I am spot on average at 5.5. She made no bones about it that size does matter to an awful lot of women, and while bigger may be better, it's not always the best.

My totally average 5.5" straight as an arrow schlong gave her her first PIV orgasm in her life, and hasn't stopped since


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

So you aren't a virgin.That means you trusted other women with your small penis more than you trust the woman you want to marry.That knowledge alone would crush me if I was in her shoes.
You trusted other women to be more compassionate and understanding of your below average penis but don't trust her to be compassionate and understanding of it.

Yet you say you love her.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I think this thread is as big as it's going to get, and has gone on long enough.

We've gotten about as much a rise out of this subject as we're going to get.

Should anyone choose to erect another small johnson thread, it will be robo-bobbitized and the OP banned.

Have a great day.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Deejo said:


> Should anyone choose to erect another small johnson thread, it will be robo-bobbitized and the OP banned.
> 
> Have a great day.


Prick!


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