# Helpful advice needed



## Archer_33 (May 23, 2016)

Hello I'm new to this. 

Well my wife and I are going through issues. It's gotten worse since my wife lost her job and also fail a couple of college courses. She feels helpless and like a disappointment. 

I have never to told her I'm disappointed in her, I have been proud of her for being the first woman in her family to go as far as she has in college. 

In her low moments she tends to attack me and our marriage. I try to just let her out and then I talk to her down to tell her I'm proud of her and I'll support us until she gets back on our feet. 

We have looked into counseling it's kinda tough though financial. 

I'm I doing things wrong? Or how should I help her?


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## TiredHubby2791 (Aug 26, 2015)

People tend to do what is called "displacement" when feeling overwhelmed, anxiety, or depressed about themselves. It's not that your doing anything wrong, your just a convenient target. It takes an understanding person not to become defensive about some of these attacks by the ones we love, because they can be brutal. Hitting where our weakest points are since our loved ones know where they are. 

If you're employed, your employer may have an EAP program with counseling benefits attached that are free of charge of "x" number of sessions per year. Most employees don't know about the EAP's so ask you HR personnel. 

You're doing the right thing, so keep being patient and understanding. She will appreciate this later.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

If you want helpful advice choose your thread title carefully to attract more posters.

Be more descriptive try to state the problem in the title and avoid unnecessary words.

For example you wrote you needed "helpful advice". If you're going to write something general like that, don't include the word "helpful" because people aren't going to otherwise assume you are looking for "bad" advice.


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