# Feeling lost



## fml (Mar 26, 2012)

I asked my husband for a divorce a week ago and for the first 2 days i called him 3 or 4 times.(he has not called me back) I took the advice of some TAM member who told me to stop calling him and I have. I have never not talked to him for this long and I feel lost. I want to work things out but I want him to know that if things dont channge then i want to go ahead with the divorce. It kills me to know that he is hurting and i am not there. Its so messed up, when something good or bad happends I want to talk to him first. He is my bestfriend but then there is another side of me that at times feels free. I know that this may not make allot of sense but I am blogging to keep from calling him. We have been seperated for 4 months Married for 2 years. I have never felt so low.


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## Valerie50 (Mar 30, 2012)

I completely can understand how you are feeling. If you do reconcile I would suggest that you don't bring up the word divorce unless you really mean it. It's kind of like someone asking you to marry them but not really meaning it whole hearted. Please don't give up on him, he has pride and sometimes that is hard to swallow. I wish you the best.


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## fml (Mar 26, 2012)

Thank you both for your posts and the kind words. I dont know if I can do this. I kind of feel presured into it by my family and though I know that they have only want whats best for me I feel like they dont understand. My heart is breaking. I wish I had not asked for the divorce yet (I say yet because i want to prepare myself for the worst) Looking at everything I have valid points as to why I wanted the divorce, but I feel like half of me is missing. We got married to young and we were way to immature and that is part of the reason that I wanted the divorce. He is a mamas boy and I think he is happy being home. I keep thinking the worst like he is not missing me at all and he is relieved. I keep looking at my rings and rembering when we went to pick them out, and how happy I was. I feel helpless. I cant understand how he has not called yet, it is so not like us. Even through the seperation we talked everyday. Maybe he doesnt love me anymore.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

He's probably not calling you because he feels rejected. When you tell someone you want a divorce, that's generally the biggest feeling. Not all people will fight to stop it from happening. If you're not sure that you really want a divorce, try talking to a counselor. Whatever he did sounds like it was a deal-breaker for you. If you really don't think you can work it out, then you have to start getting used to not talking to him. It's going to hurt, but the best thing you can do is just let yourself grieve and then remind yourself why you're doing it. If you're not sure that you want a divorce, then take some time to figure that out and let him know, but leave him to his thoughts, too. Act with a cool and clear head, not with your emotions. Your emotions will be all over the place at this time. Hang in there. I'm sorry you're hurting.


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## fml (Mar 26, 2012)

Thank you Moxy for the advice. I love my huband with all my heart. I dont want the divorce. But I do what to be happy. I want my opinions to be hurd and I dont want us to keep working against eachother. I am so scared that I have lost him. Like you said I have to leave him with his thoughts and your right that I have to think with my head and not my emotions. (one min I am mad the next sad then I am ok until something reminds me of him and then I am a mess) I guess I just have to suck it up. I just hope that when we do talk it is not to late. Man what a mess!!


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