# Turns out I wasn't alot of things....



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

Just had an in-depth talk with the H as to what went wrong. Seems I didn't take good enough care of the house, I stink with money, didn't give enough sex, but the major reason why he's left and will be filing come June/July is that we struggled our whole married life and neither of us did anything about it. Well, damn, why was it let go for so long? It all comes down to being my fault, since he's doing so much better now that we're not together anymore. He didn't come out and say that, but I know that's what he's thinking. My heart is breaking all over again as I held out a little hope that he'd come back.

Now I have to figure out how I'm going to take on this house by myself and all that comes with home ownership. I can't afford it, probably can't sell it like it is, don't have the skills to fix what needs to be fixed or the money to hire someone to do it, but I'm not about to walk away for 50,000+ in equity. I can't wrap my head around this whole thing....still....after almost 8 months of separation.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

These were all reasons, but the most prevelant was the fact that we struggled all of our married life. We struggled financially the whole time we were together and he feels he can do better on his own. Admittedly we do seem to be doing better since we've separated our money, but my question to him was why didn't you suggest we separate the finances years ago? His response was that he took as much as he could and when he reached the end of his rope that was it, he was done, no questions asked. So all these past 28 years he was just a ticking time bomb, just waiting until he couldn't take it anymore so that he could leave, never letting me know how unhappy he was or what it was that wasn't working for him. I just get so angry and hurt when I think about how he doesn't/won't/wouldn't have put forth the effort to fight for our marriage.


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