# Valentine Gifts to Remember



## No Longer Lonely Husband

V-Day Whoops: Man gives wife turnips instead of tulips | Kentucky Sports Radio

True story from close to my hometown.:smile2:


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## sunsetmist

Is there a hearing aid in his future? or worse? I have some turnip recipes.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband

sunsetmist said:


> Is there a hearing aid in his future? or worse? I have some turnip recipes.


I am certain there is.


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## TheDudeLebowski

I gave my wife sex for Valentine's day.


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## sokillme

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I gave my wife sex for Valentine's day.


So .. many ... jokes ... must ... keep ... it .. together.....


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## Young at Heart

I gave my wife a cast iron frying pan with grill bars (she asked for it for Christmas but neither I nor our children had the guts to give it to her), flowers, and the Gottman's latest 8 date relationship book.

I got some of the best sex & most enthusiast sex, I have had in a long time, along with a nice grilled steak!

Sometimes it pays to live dangerously. :wink2:


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## No Longer Lonely Husband

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I gave my wife sex for Valentine's day.


What would you have received in exchange for turnips?


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## No Longer Lonely Husband

I gave my FWW wife a nice dinner at Maggianos near Vandy as we love the piano player. Played me some Leon Russell “Lady Blue”. Led to a wonderful after dinner experience. Three years ago I would have given her turnips LOL. When we saw this story from where we grew up, minor trigger, I told her “ A few years back I would have gone to th farm and given you something worse than turnips”. I raise cattle so figure it out. Lol


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## No Longer Lonely Husband

Young at Heart said:


> I gave my wife a cast iron frying pan with grill bars (she asked for it for Christmas but neither I nor our children had the guts to give it to her), flowers, and the Gottman's latest 8 date relationship book.
> 
> I got some of the best sex & most enthusiast sex, I have had in a long time, along with a nice grilled steak!
> 
> Sometimes it pays to live dangerously. :wink2:


Good call on the Gottman’s. Dr. Gottman rocks.:smile2:


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## Satisfied Mind

When selective hearing goes horribly wrong...


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## Visexual

I did the almost unthinkable this V-Day. My wife sent me her usual V-Day e-card. I sent her one too but then thought more about it waiting for her to get up that morning.

We walk a three mile track up over a hill by our house every morning. On the walk that morning I mentioned that V-Day is all about intimacy of lovers. I went on to say that, although we still love each other, we haven't been lovers in years. It's now been close to seven since we were intimate.

Now before we retired, when she was teaching, I always sent flowers to her work if V-Day fell on a work day. I could only imagine the female teachers who got nothing that day.

But now, since we are retired and since we are no longer intimate, (by her decision not mine), I told her that I no longer wanted to participate in that holiday.


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## MJJEAN

Young at Heart said:


> I gave my wife a cast iron frying pan with grill bars (she asked for it for Christmas but neither I nor our children had the guts to give it to her)
> 
> I got some of the best sex & most enthusiast sex, I have had in a long time, along with a nice grilled steak!


 Cast iron is the best. I know people who are using their grandmother's and even great-great grandmothers cast iron cookware. You gave her an heirloom gift!

I know a frying pan would typically be considered a bad gift idea, but there are some women out there who like the practical gifts. I'd climb DH like a monkey if he went out and bought me a Shark vacuum for my birthday or got me a couple new storm doors for the house.

A few months or so ago I read a gentleman's post on reddit and was just gobsmacked. He had been dating a lovely lady for a couple years. They were a young couple, so they hadn't lived independently or together yet. His lady got her very first apartment. As a housewarming gift, he bought her a tool box and filled it with the tools she may need for general household and emergency use. She was about 25% upset and 75% furious.

He spent a pretty penny on quality tools. I asked because I couldn't figure out why she was upset unless he bought her cheap crap.


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## Blondilocks

Young at Heart said:


> I gave my wife a cast iron frying pan with grill bars (she asked for it for Christmas but neither I nor our children had the guts to give it to her), flowers, and the Gottman's latest 8 date relationship book.
> 
> I got some of the best sex & most enthusiast sex, I have had in a long time, along with a nice grilled steak!
> 
> Sometimes it pays to live dangerously. :wink2:


That grill pan is the best! My Lodge grill pan is treasured.


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## arbitrator

TheDudeLebowski said:


> *I gave my wife sex for Valentine's Day.*


*And I'd sincerely hope that you at least got a little bit back in return! *


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## TheDudeLebowski

arbitrator said:


> *And I'd sincerely hope that you at least got a little bit back in return! *


As a matter of fact, I got a box of chocolates. Nice big heart shaped box of chocolates.


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## arbitrator

TheDudeLebowski said:


> *As a matter of fact, I got a box of chocolates. Nice big heart shaped box of chocolates.*


*Mrs. Dude, undoubtedly, was only giving her "Energizer Bunny" some extra "Wheaties" for a little additional bedtime stamina!*


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## Robbie1234

MJJEAN said:


> Cast iron is the best. I know people who are using their grandmother's and even great-great grandmothers cast iron cookware. You gave her an heirloom gift!
> 
> I know a frying pan would typically be considered a bad gift idea, but there are some women out there who like the practical gifts. I'd climb DH like a monkey if he went out and bought me a Shark vacuum for my birthday or got me a couple new storm doors for the house.
> 
> A few months or so ago I read a gentleman's post on reddit and was just gobsmacked. He had been dating a lovely lady for a couple years. They were a young couple, so they hadn't lived independently or together yet. His lady got her very first apartment. As a housewarming gift, he bought her a tool box and filled it with the tools she may need for general household and emergency use. She was about 25% upset and 75% furious.
> 
> He spent a pretty penny on quality tools. I asked because I couldn't figure out why she was upset unless he bought her cheap crap.


American women are a funny lot. If I gave my girlfriend or my ex wife tools or a frying pan for St Valentine's day I would make sure I had my hardhat on first.


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## TheDudeLebowski

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> What would you have received in exchange for turnips?


https://www.thekitchenmagpie.com/sea-salt-olive-oil-roasted-turnips/


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## TheDudeLebowski

sokillme said:


> So .. many ... jokes ... must ... keep ... it .. together.....


Hey man. We tried role reversal. I got a box of chocolates, she got sex. Not sure where the jokes would come from. Perhaps you aren't as woke and progressive as we are. I've decided from now on my wife will spend the money on me and in return I'll give her sex. Its time to turn this patriarchal society on its head.


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