# Wife and orgasms



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Hello everyone! It's been awhile since I've been on the site so hope everyone is doing well. Starting off on a good note, wife and I have a good sex life. I've been able to help her achieve orgasms via PIV even without clitoral stimulation and more often than not they're pretty powerful.  But in order for me to get her to orgasm via PIV I have to take her to "pound town". And I'm not just talking about just quickening the pace but having to ramp the intensity up to where we're either making the slapping noises as our bodies collide together or I have to go like a Singer sewing machine. Don't get me wrong - that type of sex can be hot. However, it would be nice to able to get my wife to orgasm - via PIV - without having to become a sweating, exhausted mess every time. She definitely gets into it if we're at a slower pace (provided I'm using long strokes); however, that slow place can only get her around "half way there" and I'll have to finish her off with my hands. 

Looking for suggestions with PIV sex on how I can get her to orgasm without having to do HIIT training every time we do it.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

I don’t think 5(A*7)^2= orgasm

Maybe she just likes getting the **** pounded out of her and that’s what puts her over the edge.
She might not admit to it.... but that’s probably exactly what she wants.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Speaking as a women, I want to be able to orgasm in as many positions as possible. I’m sure your wife does too. Has she expressed this? 
The way that I orgasm also takes a lot of effort, and it would be nice to orgasm by easier ways. So it’s just trial and error and figuring it out. That’s what I am doing now... just trying new things. And this takes a very verbal partner to tell you what feels good and where and how much pressure etc. 

So first you need to have a conversation with your wife about it. Because it’s not something you will hear on here and bring to her. Your wife needs to take charge, she is the only one who knows what feels good to her. 

Sex is suppose to be fun, and it’s a time to learn about each other. Sometimes it fails miserably, sometimes it works out. And it’s ok for her and you not to have an orgasm every single time. Some people focus so much on the O that they forget to just have a happy positive attitude about it.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Ever hear of the coital alignment technique? Give it a look.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Regarding exploring, it's helped with getting my wife to orgasm more easily with PIV only style of sex. The key for her (me perhaps?) was to focus more on the top wall of the vaginal canal. I'll have to look into the CAT again. She naturally likes to tilt her pelvis up when in missionary and I believe the CAT wants the woman to tilt it down?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Looking for suggestions with PIV sex on how I can get her to orgasm without having to do HIIT training every time we do it.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Either your penis has to be also hitting her clitoris or you've got to be going fast enough to make some waves in that direction. The reason you're saying it needs to be deep is because it needs to hit the mouth of the vagina and clitoris with each thrust. Traction. I had the misfortune of dating a couple of guys who were too long for me and it was impossible to get off PIV with them. For PIV, of course, it's all down to her anatomy and yours, but basically medium length and decent girth works best, not the long schlong. She could be using her own hand to get herself there while you're doing it. That's what I would do. Just because PIV alone doesn't necessarily get the job done doesn't mean women don't enjoy it, but nothing wrong with one or both of you supplementing stimulation at the same time to hit the right buttons.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Either your penis has to be also hitting her clitoris or you've got to be going fast enough to make some waves in that direction. The reason you're saying it needs to be deep is because it needs to hit the mouth of the vagina and clitoris with each thrust. Traction. I had the misfortune of dating a couple of guys who were too long for me and it was impossible to get off PIV with them. For PIV, of course, it's all down to her anatomy and yours, but basically medium length and decent girth works best, not the long schlong. She could be using her own h*and to get herself there while you're doing it.* That's what I would do. Just because PIV alone doesn't necessarily get the job done doesn't mean women don't enjoy it, but nothing wrong with one or both of you supplementing stimulation at the same time to hit the right buttons.


I've definitely used my fingers to stimulate her while having sex - clitoris, breasts and even both at the same time. Breasts are typically hit or miss since much of the time they're too sensitive to the touch even if she's aroused. Lately she's not wanted me to rub her clitoris during sex, and I think she's worried about having a UTI. It's not serious enough to be very painful, but she doesn't want all the extra attention down there at this time until she sees the gyno. She's getting her yearly check up with the gyno on Monday so hopefully everything works out fine.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Guys of different lengths have worked for me. Too long just meant he'd have to hold back a little. Not quite long enough meant he'd have to thrust harder. You're making me wonder what it is exactly your wife likes best because that could hold the answer to your question.

It's just that these types of discussions sometimes require details of a more sensitive nature. People don't always expect upon initially asking their question that more intimate and personal information might be required. If you mind, then I certainly understand. And maybe I'll try to be as general as possible.

What I'm wondering is whether your wife likes the hard pounding or if the pounding is necessary to reach the right spot. In other words - and here's the sensitive part because I don't know your size or anything - if you were a longer man, would you have to pound as hard to reach and hit her A-spot, or would she still want the pounding just as hard? This could also be a clue into why thrusting doesn't work as well for her because pounding reaches farther than thrusts.

You'd have to ask her for the answer to my question, of course, and if her answer is the former, then you guys might want to look into sex position *pillows and wedges*. They work great to create easier-access angling, wedging, and leveling. Click on images in the link to see some of the various positions. In positions that provide for better angles or deeper penetration, you may not have to work so hard or quite so vigorously. 

Another thought is to consider the A-spot isn't the sole means to vaginal orgasms because there's also the G-spot, which is only 1-2 inches inside her vaginal canal and, therefore, much closer. For most women, the G-spot likes a fair amount of pressure and a lot of pressure for some. So the pounding might still be necessary but void of the lengthwise issue, so maybe a bit less work for you. Try it if you and she haven't already. If nothing else, you might get some reprieve by switching up, and she'll discover another great way she can have vaginal orgasms.

If, however, it's the pounding that she loves, then I'm afraid I can only recommend running a few miles a day to keep up your strength and stamina and maybe taking extra vitamins LOL. But the pillows can still be a lot of fun and still might make things a bit easier on you. Different positions could possibly affect impact absorption so that even though you're working just as hard, you might not feel it in the same ways. It might be less exhausting. Of course, it might be equally exhausting or even more exhausting too, but you never know unless you try them.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

You do know that achieving orgasm during PIV is not easy? It does require extra effort, some never or hardly ever have it. This is how she can get it. It does not mean it has to happen every time you have sex.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

WandaJ said:


> You do know that achieving orgasm during PIV is not easy? It does require extra effort, some never or hardly ever have it. This is how she can get it. It does not mean it has to happen every time you have sex.


When I read about sexuality one interesting discovery that I came across is what happens to people when they go through a transgender process and begin experiencing the hormones of the opposite sex. Men that transition to women notice right away that the drive to orgasm is no longer there or that important. Women that transition to men are often in for an eye opening experience of what the male sex drive is like.

What I am getting at is that the need for the wife to orgasm from PIV seems to be driven by the male in this situation. Perhaps he can't empathize with the notion that the drive for his wife to reach an orgasm runs on different hormones and is not the same experience as his. 

Now from everything I have read, women are actually more capable of attaining a more powerful and extended orgasm(s) than that of a male. But just because they are capable of that does not mean that the drive and need to do it every time are there. More often than not, something other than an orgasm is much more important for a female such as a strong emotional connection during intimacy (from what I have read). 

So I wonder if the wife is pushing the OP to make this happen more often or is it him that is pushing for it to happen?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Don't negate the health benefits of going to "pound down" (humorous to me to type it out..😉) three or more times a week.

Good ab workout and good cardio!

Now, I do like slow and deep, early morning sex just as well, and the peaceful feeling after, too, without a lot of exertion. 

I'm just saying. It's good to be able to put my elbows over DWs shoulders and pin her down and go to town when we want.

I can say, that way a woman is pinned from below and above, and keeps her from bouncing away or the mattress absorbing too much. And things are held deeper, harder.

If I'm on my elbows, she bears none of my weight, and we're connected at just one point, and her whole "area" gets stimulated. 




Being tall may be a necessity there, it is for me, but I'm sure there are other methods to accomplish same.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Looking for suggestions with PIV sex on how I can get her to orgasm without having to do HIIT training every time we do it.


Hatachi Magic Wand while you are inside her.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

StarFires said:


> What I'm wondering is whether your wife likes the hard pounding or if the pounding is necessary to reach the right spot. In other words - and here's the sensitive part because *I don't know your size or anything* - if you were a longer man, would you have to pound as hard to reach and hit her A-spot, or would she still want the pounding just as hard? This could also be a clue into why thrusting doesn't work as well for her because pounding reaches farther than thrusts.


Ironically, I just measured myself this week out of curiosity to see if I made any improvements with better diet and exercise for weight loss. I got 7" for bone pressed erect length and 5" for erect girth. Based on some past discussions with her, I believe I hit the sensitive areas along the length of her upper wall. Sometimes I will feel extra tightness as if I'm in the "cul-de-sac" towards the back. Not sure if I'm truly getting that far but sometimes when the angles are right it happens. She might be trying to get me back there.



StarFires said:


> Another thought is to consider the A-spot isn't the sole means to vaginal orgasms because there's also the G-spot, which is only 1-2 inches inside her vaginal canal and, therefore, much closer. For most women, the *G-spot likes a fair amount of pressure and a lot of pressure for some*. So the pounding might still be necessary but void of the lengthwise issue, so maybe a bit less work for you. Try it if you and she haven't already. If nothing else, you might get some reprieve by switching up, and she'll discover another great way she can have vaginal orgasms.


IMHO, this appears to be more likely because sometimes she'll try to get me shallower and will just want me to increase length and speed of the strokes.

Thanks @StarFires for the input. The one big problem we have is general communication with sex. It makes her very uncomfortable to talk about it so I have to focus more on the non-verbal communication when in the act.


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## 241happyhour (Jan 31, 2011)

oldshirt said:


> Hatachi Magic Wand while you are inside her.


My wife lasts about 8 seconds when she does this. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> The one big problem we have is general communication with sex. It makes her very uncomfortable to talk about it so I have to focus more on the non-verbal communication when in the act.


You should at least be able to talk about things afterwards so she can give you some tips for next time?


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