# Finally forgave him



## American Arrogance (Sep 5, 2008)

Its been awhile since I posted on this forum...been quite some years. So i wont go into details of everything that happen but give a run by of why my marriage has failed.

2006 while 6 months pregnant I found out that my husband was on craigslist posting ads to hook up with men. He claimed he was a bottom. Fast forward to now. We separated in 2012, our relationship seemed to be going ok. We dated, we talked and no arguments. I moved back in in May 2013. Everything was started out ok until June 25 2013 when he asked if I still wanted a divorce and he stated he wanted on. I thought something was up since he was fighting a divorce for years. I noticed he would spend hours texting and talking on the phone. Found out it was a female co worker. August 2013, they had sex and was dating. From there it went all downhill. Im still living with him.

So now all the issues in the marriage that we were ignoring started to bubble back up. He became physically and verbally violent towards me. He became very evil and controlling. I finally moved out on Nov 2013.

He told me he saw a future with this woman after only knowing her for 3 months and even brought her around our kids when he was supposed to be doing daddy outings. 

But all in all I focused on this woman and hated her when I just discovered that he is still involved with men intimately. I dont know why I thought he wasnt. 

I took a long overdue vacation for my 34th birthday and went to Mexico and Cayman Islands. I came back so refreshed and had a discussion with my STBXH. I told him I forgive him and accept the apologies he gave back in June 2013. I will no longer hold a grudge against him and will move on.

Since that discussion, he has been texting me and calling me baiting me into arguments. I dont entertain him and end the call by saying "I say to you, good day sir".

We agreed to joint custody where we rotate weeks with the kids. Last night he called frustrated about how the kids told him they blame him for the way things are and he states he cant deal with it and he dont know what to do. :scratchhead:

Our 11 yr old is acting out at school and against him. I told him the kids need counseling individually and family. 

Anyways, I feel so much better that I have forgave him and that I am able to move on. Since being single (only month and half) I have enjoyed more things than I EVER did married 13 years. I am slowly regaining my former self. I am going out and being social and I realize I have so many people who are very supportive of me and have been helping me in this transition. 

I am grateful for heading down the divorce path and very ecstatic about being single (I have never been single really, got married at 20 yrs old). :smthumbup:


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

Enjoy your freedom and the life you have retaken for yourself.

You paid a heavy price.

Thanks for sharing your optimism for the present and future, you know how much so many here need it

Stretch


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