# Wife & her family keep buying me tickets to plays, concerts, etc



## Bill777 (Nov 17, 2014)

Despite my repeated requests to be left out of her families attendance at "art" events my wife and her family continue to ignore my requests and purchase me tickets to plays and concerts which I have no interest in attending.

I literally cannot express how much I hate these events and my displeasure when I am at them is completely obvious and I don't understand why my wife continues to try to force the issue. I have tried respectfully stating "it's not my thing," "I don't find it interesting," "I'd rather stay home" but eventually two hours into it I just become angry. My wife and her family than repeatedly ask why I don't like them and act like there is something wrong with me. 

The plays they go to have a leftist bend and I'm more of a right winger and that pisses me off too. All of these pompous wanna be deep people in a room acting like they are better than everyone. However, its not just that, it's just I DO NOT want to go. I have no interest in these plays and find them completely stupid and a waste of my time. They than discuss them after and get upset with me when they ask "what did you think?" and after trying to deflect the question a few times, my basic response eventually is "it was stupid." So I'm miserable at these events and I share that with them but they want me to continue to go to these events and just act like I'm enjoying it?

I understand doing things you don't like because your spouse likes them BUT this is becoming a monthly thing and I cannot take it. I also don't understand why I am required to go and why my wife can't go alone with her family.

Imagine if I liked a certain type of music they hated and every month bought them tickets and expected them to go with me? Than when they were visibly upset just ignored that or kept asking them questions acting like it is their fault. 

I have tried being nice about this BUT it's really starting to touch a nerve.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Well Bill...sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. Further, making it a miserable time for W and her family is not the best avenue to win friends. In fact, it is childish. 

I attend countless things with my W and her family that is not my cup of tea. However, I make the best of it and assure my W is nothing but thrilled with the entire goes on. You know why, some day there will be something I ask my W to attend that my not thrill her to the core. I would hope she responds in kind. And she has/does. 

I don't think you need to attend all but a word of caution....if you keep saying "no" the invites to everything dwindle and then disappear altogether. Soon you find yourself standing alone. Not a good place to be. 

Enjoy the next show. Be the great H your W tells everyone you are. Be happy her family do care to include you. Others are not so lucky. 
l


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

If you ABSOLUTELY HATE IT, then be a big boy and don't go. Unless they put a gun to your head, they can't force you.

However, I would try to go with a different mindset and try to at least tolerate it. If not, just go an fall asleep in your seat. That should work as well.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

"The plays they go to have a leftist bend and I'm more of a right winger and that pisses me off too. All of these pompous wanna be deep people in a room acting like they are better than everyone."

As a fellow right winger, I feel your pain...and I have come to the point where I no longer will be forced to do what I don't want to if I have a choice.


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

go to the event, and turn around at the gate/door and scalp the ticket!

a free-market solution!


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Sucks to be you, invited to things other than a gunshow 

Seriously, EVERY play, symphony, etc., is a Leftist propaganda device?

Nonsense.

If you open your mind maybe you can enjoy stories of the human condition or fine music.

If not?

Blame Obama and stay home.


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

michzz said:


> Sucks to be you, invited to things other than a gunshow


hey, hey, gunshows aren't the only good thing in life, there are also monster truck shows!

actually, on a serious note, Bill, perhaps your family just wants to spend some time as a group. 

So it might not be a bad idea to grab the bull by the horns and take them to something you'd be interested in. Maybe a concert of your choosing, comedy show, or movie. Try not to be passive aggressive about it (you aren't trying to pay them back with a bad time).


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## srena200 (Jul 13, 2009)

I feel the same way about FOOTBALL, I would rather pull my teeth than sit through that crap - but I go - you know why? Because my husband enjoys it and he likes me to be a part of the activities he enjoys. I do not watch ALL of them, but I will watch some. I will go to games. I even bought him some NFL tickets because he is such a huge fan.

One must customize his or her own relationship. Go to 1 play here and there but not all. Inform her that if they keep buying tickets, you will sell them like the other responder indicated - which is a great idea.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

So.....don't go?

Honestly, they're buying you tickets, not holding you at gunpoint. If you decline to attend, they may eventually stop buying the tickets. If they don't, it's their money to spend as they wish.

Be polite, but decline the invitation. And stop the passive-aggressive bullsh!t of attending but behaving like an ass so that everyone knows you're in a snit about it. The cost of not saying "no" is that you are then required to behave like a well-brought-up adult while you're there.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

michzz said:


> Sucks to be you, invited to things other than a gunshow
> 
> *Seriously, EVERY play, symphony, etc., is a Leftist propaganda device?*
> 
> ...


No, the OP said that the ones his wife and family chose to go to have a leftist bend.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> No, the OP said that the ones his wife and family chose to go to have a leftist bend.


One wonders if this is a passive aggressive way for them to 'educate' the poor fellow...which is just meddlesome.

Or they are just artistic types and want him acculturated.

Did you not see the warning signs before you married her?


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

I used to enjoy going to classical music concerts in my leather 'punk' jacket. I'd get 3 yards of empty bar either side of me at intermission.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

If they're dragging you to "communist theater" that's one thing. But if they're taking you to quality productions and classic plays and symphonies, then I say try to broaden your horizons.


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

I say, buy the family tickets to go see Five Finger Death Punch.

They'll like it, I promise!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Revamped said:


> I say, buy the family tickets to go see Five Finger Death Punch.
> 
> They'll like it, I promise!


I agree. The OP should get tickets to things he likes and pressure them to go. After all they should broaden their horizons as well. Don't ya think?


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

Daytona 500 is coming up in 3-months. When you “invite” them use the terminology “Renascence Man or Woman”. That would be liberal-speak for having an open mind. 

And then enjoy yourselves. Myself, I enjoy the sound of 950 horse power gunning at 9400 revolutions per minute as much as I a do a good evening listening to Vivaldi.

Life is Good!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SpinDaddy said:


> Daytona 500 is coming up in 3-months. When you “invite” them use the terminology “Renascence Man or Woman”. That would be liberal-speak for having an open mind.
> 
> And then enjoy yourselves. Myself, I enjoy the sound of 950 horse power gunning at 9400 revolutions per minute as much as I a do a good evening listening to Vivaldi.
> 
> Life is Good!


Oh, I think he should take them to a Mega Mud Truck show. :rofl:


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## Bill777 (Nov 17, 2014)

It's just aggravating. They act like I'm dumb because i do not want to sit through a bunch of singing dancing shows. I think the people suggesting taking them to gun shows have a pretty good idea. We will see how they like it. My wife just informed me she purchased tickets to the Vienna boys choir. I googled them a bunch of 12 year old singing church hymns. I do not understand how anyone can stand this stuff. I also think people that are saying I should be a good husband and just go are missing the point. It's not like my wife has no one to go with. She has her whole family. There is no reason I need to go, I'm done Vienna boys choir is a bridge too far.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What other kinds of things do you and your wife do together, just the two of you?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Do they physically drag you out of the house? Just let them waste their money on tickets you won't use. They keep buying them because you keep going. Stop going.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Just don't go OP. I would go to something my husband liked but I didn't a few times a year, but not once a month. I wouldn't expect him to do that for me either.

Just don't go. Once you do that a couple of times they'll see you're serious and will stop buying you tickets.

Seriously, why is that so hard??


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Bill777 said:


> My wife just informed me she purchased tickets to the Vienna boys choir. I googled them a bunch of 12 year old singing church hymns. I do not understand how anyone can stand this stuff.


:rofl: I actually love the choir, but my H would NEVER join me. He would feel your pain.

Just say no. Why not go 3 times a year to the events and pass on the other invitations?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Omego said:


> :rofl: I actually love the choir, but my H would NEVER join me. He would feel your pain.
> 
> Just say no. Why not go 3 times a year to the events and pass on the other invitations?


Heh, I like that idea. 3 could be your magic number. "Sorry darling, I've been to 3 this year, that's my limit. Have fun!" Go get yourself an action movie and a bowl of popcorn and enjoy your night in.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

srena200 said:


> *I feel the same way about FOOTBALL, I would rather pull my teeth than sit through that crap - but I go - you know why? Because my husband enjoys it and he likes me to be a part of the activities he enjoys. I do not watch ALL of them, but I will watch some. I will go to games. I even bought him some NFL tickets because he is such a huge fan.
> 
> One must customize his or her own relationship. Go to 1 play here and there but not all. Inform her that if they keep buying tickets, you will sell them like the other responder indicated - which is a great idea*.


I can relate to this, one couldn't pay me to go to a Football game.. Happy my H is one of those guys who could care less.. not his thing...

I am a bit surprised no one can see that this wife is being rather ridiculous in this pursuit.. she has her whole darn family to accompany her... *and she does this EVERY MONTH* !!!

Is this an exaggeration ?...Seriously?... for one, why would anyone want to waste their $$ on a ticket that causes irritation ...she is being UNREASONABLE.. is she going to his Gun shows *every month* ?.. I wonder how that would go down. 

I think , as spouses, we should engage our husband or wives and attend things we hate maybe 2 times a year, showing a little effort.... others mentioned 3.. *that's reasonable*.. but this .. 12 times a year.. she ignores his feelings... picking his brain about it afterwards, after he has repeatedly told her how he feels... for what ?

I wouldn't do this to my H... I'd find people who ENJOYED what I enjoy and we'd all have a good time, good spirits.. and devote my talking about it afterwards to those who are actually interested.. 

What can he do.. as others suggested...put his foot down, let the chips fall where they may...restrict it to 3 times a year.. (sure beats 12!)...if she get upset, causes a fit over this.. then make a deal with her...and start dragging her to functions you ENJOY -as to make it "fair & balanced"...then pick her brain on that stuff.. surely she'll want to pull her hair out after a while and say... "Ok.. Ok.. I get it !"


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Bill777 said:


> Imagine if I liked a certain type of music they hated and every month bought them tickets and expected them to go with me? Than when they were visibly upset just ignored that or kept asking them questions acting like it is their fault.


Why don't you do it? This might actually drive your point home. some people need to have it in their face to get it.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Now you can't say that the Vienna Boys choir is leftist. 

OK so here is my opinion and experience. I have raised 3 daughters. Most of the DVD's in my house have princess or prince in the title. I like theater, I hate musicals. Junior high Band concerts are the perfection of the art of human torture. So yes I've been where Bill is. I've sulked through events. 

The thing is, it didn't make me any happier. So What did I do? I grew up. Fortunately so did my kids. It didn't hurt that it was understood if I didn't go to every event. I learned to appreciate how far the students have progressed between the fall concert and the spring concert. Sure there are limits, I'm pre-excused from watching anything that has Princess in it's title. And there are no Disney on Ice tickets, period. On the other hand once a year my Wife will join me and the youngest (this one is a son) for Camp Day of service, which involves sleeping in a tent and eating outdoors, and frequently chainsaws, axes and shovels. 

So this year my son worked the Tech booth for the high school production of Rogers and Hammerstein's Cinderella. Since he wasn't performing I wasn't required to go. On the other hand a neighboring high school was putting on an adaptation of H. G. Wells' War of the Worlds on the same weekend. As it turned out our HS had one night off that lined up with the others closing night so Son and I got tickets and went to War of the worlds together.

Compromise, understanding and a certain level of fairness have kept me in an artistic family. Sure I had to do some bending and learning. It was not a one way thing.

MN


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

Just be a good guy about it. Go to the next one they invite you to, don't act like an as$, at the end of the night, thank them and tell them the next event you attend with them is your treat. Then get them tickets to the 50 cent concert. He's on tour now. Since he's a successful businessman with a net worth of about $140 mil Im sure you will identify with him. And his political views probably lean to the left so your inlaws should enjoy him too.

Lil somethin somethin for everybody!


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Bill777 said:


> The plays they go to have a leftist bend and I'm more of a right winger and that pisses me off too. All of these pompous wanna be deep people in a room acting like they are better than everyone. However, its not just that, it's just I DO NOT want to go. I have no interest in these plays and find them completely stupid and a waste of my time. They than discuss them after and get upset with me when they ask "what did you think?" and after trying to deflect the question a few times, my basic response eventually is "it was stupid." So I'm miserable at these events and I share that with them but they want me to continue to go to these events and just act like I'm enjoying it?



Explain to them that this isnt your thing at all and that you "dont want to expand your mind, soul, or experience new things". Tell them you "simply cannot miss another Rush Limbaugh show in the name of culture and that your Right wing glasses are firmly super glued to your face" 
You may also want to tell them that "these strange rituals scare me and that you are afraid someone may take a picture of you and steal your soul."

If this farsicle language doesnt get the point across then nothing will.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Didn't realize that Vienna Boys are leftists? Who knew? BTW - can I get your ticket, lol?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Bill777 said:


> There is no reason I need to go, I'm done Vienna boys choir is a bridge too far.


I think you absolutely should not go to this, or any other show that you have no interest in. Look, she knows how you feel about attending these things, yet she still keeps pushing you. That's not "spending quality time as a couple"... that's her strong-arming you into something by haranguing you and not "hearing" what you are saying.

It's one thing to occasionally step out of your comfort zone and do something for the other person because it's a nice gesture that will make them happy (that's what marriage is all about), but it's another thing to be nagged and harped-on and dragged to events that you have no interest in.



Bill777 said:


> I also don't understand why I am *required* to go and why my wife can't go alone with her family.


You're an adult and thus not "required" to attend things you don't want to attend. I would make a blanket announcement that you will no longer be attending any of these shows, and so any tickets she buys for you will go unused.


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## Kresaera (Nov 8, 2014)

Revamped said:


> I say, buy the family tickets to go see Five Finger Death Punch.
> 
> They'll like it, I promise!



I'd totally go to that!


As for OP, Bill, is it? Sacrifice is something that happens in marriages. Unless they are hog-tying you and forcing you to go watch these things Daily (or even weekly) then just suck it up and go. I'm sure your wife does things that she doesn't like for you without acting a fool and showing how mad she is you made her go. (If she doesn't, she should!) My husband is an avid gamer, when we met, I thought gaming was absolutely terrible, then I started watching him play, then I started playing a little myself, now I consider myself a full fledged gamer too! 

On a side note, I have no idea how you are making a marriage work if one of you is on the left and one of you is on the right...


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Bill777 said:


> It's just aggravating. They act like I'm dumb because i do not want to sit through a bunch of singing dancing shows. I think the people suggesting taking them to gun shows have a pretty good idea. We will see how they like it. My wife just informed me she purchased tickets to the Vienna boys choir. I googled them a bunch of 12 year old singing church hymns. I do not understand how anyone can stand this stuff. I also think people that are saying I should be a good husband and just go are missing the point. It's not like my wife has no one to go with. She has her whole family. There is no reason I need to go, I'm done Vienna boys choir is a bridge too far.


Like I said, eventually they stop asking if you keep saying no. Eventually you will be standing alone. Specifically when you ask your W to attend a MMA marathon, football game or the bedroom. 

Good luck.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

michzz said:


> Sucks to be you, invited to things other than a gunshow
> 
> Seriously, EVERY play, symphony, etc., is a Leftist propaganda device?
> 
> ...





EleGirl said:


> No, the OP said that the ones his wife and family chose to go to have a leftist bend.


I was refuting his assertion that they all are leftist leaning.

Maybe he ought to see Richard the Third?

All his relatives were disappointments. 

"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York."

or


"True hope is swift, and flies with swallow’s wings;
Kings it makes gods, and meaner creatures kings."


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## tonedef (Aug 7, 2014)

I think it is selfish and unreasonable to make/obligate someone to do something they don't want to do. I mean yeah attending events seldomly to appease your spouse is fine but you have to draw a line. Just say NO.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## U.E. McGill (Nov 27, 2013)

This is all your fault. 

Out on your big boy pants and say "no thank you. I've asked you not to get me a ticket, and I won't be attending."

If you're spending quality time with your wife she'll get over it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

U.E. McGill said:


> This is all your fault.
> 
> Out on your big boy pants and say "no thank you. I've asked you not to get me a ticket, and I won't be attending."
> 
> If you're spending quality time with your wife she'll get over it.


I back this statement.. so long as you & her share other times where you BOTH want to be there, present, and enjoy each others company...as this is very important to keep the connection alive ... she will be just fine.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

I'm all for sacrificing in the name of harmony but, if you apply that equally, Bill need only attend half the number of events he's currently subjected to.

Whatever happened to looking at an 'upcoming events' guide and deciding which ones you want to attend together, individually, or not at all?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

If my wife tried to make me go to a concert of prepubescent boys I would punch a hamster.

However, we have learned to grow with each other over the years.

She now loves MMA as much as me and I love British period miniseries as much a her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> If my wife tried to make me go to a concert of prepubescent boys *I would punch a hamster.*


THIS made me laugh!

(C'mon Conan... leave the poor little hamster out of it...)

:rofl:


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

happy as a clam said:


> THIS made me laugh!
> 
> (C'mon Conan... leave the poor little hamster out of it...)
> 
> :rofl:


Oh alright. &#55357;&#56833;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

So DONT GO. End of story.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Did you guys meet and fall in love when her family's limousine broke down in the woods and you rescued her from bears?

Joking aside i dont see how the hell you guys would get along outside of the evil leftist theater. Opposites attract supposedly but yeesh.

As others have said, man up and say no thanks to at least half the events.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> If my wife tried to make me go to a concert of prepubescent boys I would punch a hamster.
> 
> However, we have learned to grow with each other over the years.
> 
> ...


I have to admit Doughton Abbey Cage Match VI was truly wonderful...


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Personally I would love to go to those types of events.

But since it's not your thing, I agree you should simply not attend half of them and when you DO go, for the sake of your wife and her family, perhaps you should respond to their questions and participate in their discussions with more than a "It's stupid". If you are a grown man, how about use your big boy words and express WHY you don't like it.

You can say you don't enjoy that kind of music. But surely you can appreciate the skill required to put on such performances? Admire the elaborate costumes or the range of the lead singer? I don't enjoy monster truck racing but I can at least appreciate the skill required to handle that kind of vehicle - surely you can do the same for cultural events. Express yourself with more than "it's stupid". THAT sounds ignorant and makes you sound small-minded.

DO invite them to things you enjoy. They might find a demolition derby, sporting event or a day of paintball could be fun. They may not like country or folk music, for instance, but I bet they could still acknowledge skilled banjo playing.

Did you even know your wife and her family before marrying? Is this a relatively new thing or has this been going on since you met her?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Bill777 said:


> It's just aggravating. They act like I'm dumb because i do not want to sit through a bunch of singing dancing shows. I think the people suggesting taking them to gun shows have a pretty good idea. We will see how they like it. My wife just informed me she purchased tickets to the Vienna boys choir. I googled them a bunch of 12 year old singing church hymns. I do not understand how anyone can stand this stuff. I also think people that are saying I should be a good husband and just go are missing the point. It's not like my wife has no one to go with. She has her whole family. There is no reason I need to go, I'm done Vienna boys choir is a bridge too far.


Choirs singing religious hymns are left leaning? Doesn't the left have the higher population of a-religious people?


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

NobodySpecial said:


> Choirs singing religious hymns are left leaning? Doesn't the left have the higher population of a-religious people?


No its left leaning because its pre-pubecent boys singing. If you like that you are gay. Thus a commie liberal.


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## U.E. McGill (Nov 27, 2013)

I personally love commie-liberal cities. They always have the best restaurants.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Bill777 said:


> Despite my repeated requests to be left out of her families attendance at "art" events my wife and her family continue to ignore my requests and purchase me tickets to plays and concerts which I have no interest in attending.
> 
> I literally cannot express how much I hate these events and my displeasure when I am at them is completely obvious and I don't understand why my wife continues to try to force the issue. I have tried respectfully stating "it's not my thing," "I don't find it interesting," "I'd rather stay home" but eventually two hours into it I just become angry. My wife and her family than repeatedly ask why I don't like them and act like there is something wrong with me.
> 
> ...


You do not come over well to me in this post. It seems (excuse me if I am wrong) that you are bought tickets to various things, but you never return the favour and are then upset that they get to choose. You should invite them to events, it is basic good manners. You are then in a position to choose to go or not, it is up to you. 

Frankly, getting upset because the entertainment is not in your comfort zone is very precious. I was invited to a theatre event by someone, which turned out to be a feminist collective improvised production on people smuggling. It was rubbish, but I chilled out and enjoyed the evening. I was not defining myself by the play as even I struggle to be that self-important.


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## ricky15100 (Oct 23, 2013)

*Re: Re: Wife & her family keep buying me tickets to plays, concerts, etc*



Bill777 said:


> It's just aggravating. They act like I'm dumb because i do not want to sit through a bunch of singing dancing shows. I think the people suggesting taking them to gun shows have a pretty good idea. We will see how they like it. My wife just informed me she purchased tickets to the Vienna boys choir. I googled them a bunch of 12 year old singing church hymns. I do not understand how anyone can stand this stuff. I also think people that are saying I should be a good husband and just go are missing the point. It's not like my wife has no one to go with. She has her whole family. There is no reason I need to go, I'm done Vienna boys choir is a bridge too far.


I'm so sorry but this nearly made me piss myself rofl


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Middle of Everything said:


> No its left leaning because its pre-pubecent boys singing. If you like that you are gay. Thus a commie liberal.


So when does it become un-gay for boys to sing? I hope you are poking fun. I kinda doubt it.


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