# Don't know how to move forward.....



## worried in NC (Mar 23, 2014)

My husband let our grandson watch a movie on u-tube on his old phone recently. His FB account was still logged in tot eh phone as he had just upgraded phones. I got the phone and hit the FB icon and it took me to his page--there were messages where he was messaging a 20 year old girl who had adopted a dog from us last summer. The messages were talking about them meeting up and lots of dirty talk back and forth. I confronted her and him about these and she apologized and said that nothing happened and they never met up and he denied also any meetings but said all it was was talking dirty and that it ended back in December. I made him unfriend her on FB and I blocked her number on our verizon account. He has cheated before but I did too about 20 years ago. He does not reveal any passwords on his laptop and keeps his phone with him. How do I move forward with this? One day I am fine and the next day I am a mess.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

First you have double post open you should close one second if he has done it before the odds are good he will do it again don't assume it was just dirty talk and the lack giving up passwords should tell you a lot.



No giving up passwords + past history of cheating + inappropriate texting = big red flags


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

If I my ask OP who cheated first 20 years ago your husband are you?


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## worried in NC (Mar 23, 2014)

I did. and then he did back in 2000 and then this happened.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Well i'm not a psychologist but it's possible his behavior is a result of some unresolved issue with your affair maybe its his way dealing with the pain which if true is not healthy for the both of you. Has he had any individual counseling or you for that matter something you might want consider looking in to.


But first you need to find out if he is cheating on you now


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## DeterminedToThrive (Nov 2, 2013)

You didn't say that he said he was sorry, you said she did though. Is he sorry? Do you understand you have to work through this like any other betrayal? Transparency and NO contact are the monumental first steps. IMO If ya don't get those, what's there to proceed with? You said you confronted them and blocked her #, has their contact stopped? Why won't he give you the passwords? What's he hiding? The book "Not Just Friends" was very helpful for my husb and I, I would recommend it.

So sorry you're here, I wish you luck!


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