# Is it better to file an at fault divorce?



## robdedgar (Jul 22, 2010)

My wife and I have been married for four years, two of which was apart. She has always had a problem with authority and other peoples concerns. 

After she got her second DUI in 2006 and had a suspended license she still drove her car, even with our New born son at the time. After she finally got her license renewed after the suspension period she got another DUI in 2008, and with our son in the car. The child endangerment charge was nol prossed recently. A week before she got that DUI she got arrested for simple battery and went to jail for attacking me. 

This January, she got her fourth DUI, (only third due to non reciprocal state), again with our son in the car. After her last DUI she voluntarily went into rehab for treatment and spent six months there. During this time I have been caring for our son. Well, last week she wanted to see him and I made the arrangements. Figuring since she was still in out-patient rehab there would be no way she would take him with her to where she is still in her program. Well the first thing she did was hightail it back to her city with my son. 

She will no longer let me see my son until she serves me with divorce papers and gets an order to share custody with me. She is still going to apply for permanent physical custody too. I have never harmed our child and she has nothing bad to say about me as a parent, and I have all her records, and she still thinks she is the more responsible parent. 

In this matter is it better to get a fault divorce for her alcohol addiction and DUI convictions or just leave it at irreconcileable differences? I want to retain permanent legal custody of my son. I live in GA, too.

Thanks


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

I would get an lawyer and file for emergency custody. I would call the cops and say that she kidnapped the child during a visit, I would call soon. As for filing IDK, Ca is no fault but you getting custody is a slam dunk. To tell ya the truth the court may not be impressed with you for allowing her to have access to the child given the fact she has no problem driving with him in the car while intoxicated. But I think you need to act fast as this is an emergency situation and she is definetly unfit to have that child.

I am a male and I got custody of both my children, I also got reamed for waiting to long and the court wanted to know why I waited so long before going after my kids.


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## robdedgar (Jul 22, 2010)

I dont know about getting custody is going to be easy. Every Judge I have talked to has said that she just got out of in patient rehab and that might have done her some good. However, they said if they could give me my son they would. These our the same judges I am assuming would grant our divorce. I have met most of them.

I would love to get a lawyer I cannot afford one at this time. 

I didnt give him to her, her parents were supposed to have dropped her off at the place she was going to spend time with him and give him back.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

OK so now im intrigued, no papers have been filed, you dont have money to hire a lawyer, but you socialize with Judges? So what does your arrest record look like? Im not ripping on you but if your working, have a clean arrest record, she has 3 active dui two with the child in the car. Here that would be a slam dunk, probably with cps debating on weather to remove the child from both of you.

I know I was afraid to go to court to seek custody of my children and I actually got chastised for waiting to long.


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## robdedgar (Jul 22, 2010)

I have only gotten arrested once in 2007 for driving with a suspended license. This was due to numerous points. 

I am self employed but very low income. So I have became a full time student and live off of my GI Bill. I waited because I thought we would work out. Now I hate this woman!!!

I was talking to judges trying to get ex parte orders and temporary custody orders. I have only lost him for a week so far. I was told I needed to file for these orders when she first got her DUI.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Well this is a tough one, I kinda held off on going after my kids hoping we could reconcile. Things are probably very different here as well. This is a big time nanny state with the govt more than happy to jump into peoples buisness. 

Cant you get any assistance from legal aid? Or from the VA? Here 3 Dui will get you prison time. I do think driving around drunk with a child is pretty serious.


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## robdedgar (Jul 22, 2010)

I agree it is very serious. It didnt happen once, but twice!!! I am pissed that she got a full fledged license again. 

Legal Aid will not help me because they lost they dont deal in divorce because they lost thier funding.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Find out about diy divorce books and as much as you can about the laws in you state. I still think with her record and arrest record you would have an excellent chance of sole physical custody.

However without an attourney that gets dicey so you might settle for joint custody and the next time she screws up, and she will, then file for a modification and full custody. I do mean within a couple of days of her screw up. 

The sad fact is she has driven drunk with that child in the car waaay more than twice...she has been caught twice.


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## robdedgar (Jul 22, 2010)

The more I find out and the longer she cares for him the more I am scared she will get more physical custody of him because she is a woman.


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

robdedgar said:


> The more I find out and the longer she cares for him the more I am scared she will get more physical custody of him because she is a woman.



I had that same fear and I got full custody in liberalafornia(california). You are right if you continue to let her keep full custody you are setting precident so start demanding your 50% visitation rights.


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