# Helping her reach the big O



## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Looking for advice. Those who know my story understand we were very close to D earlier this year, so I am happy to be looking for advice about our intimacy.

My W has never been able to have a vaginal O, only externally and usually with the helping hand in a circular motion. But even this is frustrating for her as it takes her a very long time and needs to direct the location, speed and firmness of the hand, usually in a less than pleasant tone.

I bought her a V toy recently which was a first for her and it helped her a little, but after the third time she was frustrated again saying it was a much shorter O.

She claims after she is done that the interenal sensation is gone and when I am doing my thing there is little pleasure for her.

Frustration seems to be the on going theme I get from her and have for years. I want her to be happy and satisfied, and looking for advice on how we can make the loving times better for her. 

Is this normal and common? Any thoughts and advice welcome.


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## mina (Jun 14, 2012)

Google Jason Julius ... he also has several "free" YouTube videos. They are excellent.


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## 23YearWife (Sep 3, 2010)

I don't know why, but this is common. I know a number of women who didn't experience vaginal orgasm until they were in their 30's -- some much later. I was well beyond my 30's when it first happened to me. Until then, I wondered if the vaginal orgasm was a myth. It's definitely not and it's just as intense as the male O. Feeling relaxed, secure and accepted is key, I think. So is sensuality. Performance pressure probably works against the female O, just like the male. I haven't explored it yet, but you might look up Tantric sex.


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## keeper63 (Mar 22, 2012)

You could try having her use the vibrator on herself while you penetrate her with your c*ck, if you haven't tried that already. That way she gets the sensation of penetrative sex, and she controls the speed, pressure, and movement on her clitoris.

Alternately, I have had success bringing my wife to several, long, satisfying orgasms by penetrating her with a vibrator while using my tongue or hands on her clit.

You do have to be careful with her using a vibrator all the time, it could reduce her sensitivity, and cause her to be "dependent" on it for orgasms.

The other piece of advice is to take your time, try to minimize your thrusting, and focus on slow, deep penetration, while working her clit. The "Slow Sex" book was helpful for us in this regard, and your wife might also be a good candidate for some focused clitoral stroking, also known as "OM-ing" in the book.


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## 23YearWife (Sep 3, 2010)

mina said:


> Google Jason Julius ... he also has several "free" YouTube videos. They are excellent.


Wow! Thanks, Mina. His info is correct. Too bad this guy was still a gleam in his dad's eye when I was 21.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Just watched the JJ video. Very good tips on what is important.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

I think part of the problem has been 18 years of what has become routine. I need to start working her in a playful way to do things different and unexpected. She has always been very conservative and suggestions have been declined, which has been a challenge.

This old dog needs to learn some new tricks for the good of us both.


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