# EFT vs Imago during separation



## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

My husband and I have been separated now for over two months. We have been doing therapy with an Imago therapist and even attended an Imago Workshop. We both felt really good about the workshop and therapy, however, I feel like the whole Imago dialogue and validation isn't enough. Practicing "caring behaviors" is hard because we are separated and also, I want more than simple validation. Yes, I'm glad my feelings during traumas in our relationship make sense to him, but I want to know what his feelings were in those moments. I want more two way dialogue. I feel as if EFT (explained by Dr. Sue Johnson in her book Hold Me Tight) would be a better fit, considering I'm having a hard time feeling emotionally safe in our relationship and I just let things fester until I push them aside and feel better, then they all just resurface again during a mundane argument. 

Anyone out there try both? Or at least EFT and let me know how progress is?

He is totally up for switching therapists.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm not familiar with the two methods. But it sounds lke IMAGO is one sided. I agree that a method that gives two way feedback would be more beneficial. 

Have you found a counselor who works with EFT?


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

I have and she sounds wonderful. In fact, she is right down the road from my husband's apartment. Imago is useful especially if both parties have had traumatic childhoods, but he did not. He had the all American apple pie life where I had the empty childhood. Imago was hard for him to relate to, though he is trying. Talking through Imago dialogue is good, but not enough for either of us. 

The book about EFT is so good. As I read through it, I kept saying in my head "Oh my god, that's ME!" It really helped and gave me hope that I could finally heal old wounds. Hopefully it brings us a few steps closer to emotional connection.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'll have to look into both methods so see what they are about. Sounds interesting. 

You could always try the EFT. If it works go with it. If it does not you could go back to the other. It's all good.


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