# Married 1 month & found out my husband watches guy porn



## Lvon (Jun 18, 2015)

My husband and I have been together since June 2012, he is a super nice guy, sweep me right off my feet.
He only had sex 2 times when we got together. He was 18 and I was 20,
I am now 23 and he is 22,
Our relationship seems pretty normal. 
He wants to start trying for a baby.
I go through this phone,
I see emails from Craigslist and he's trying to meet up with other guys to suck eachother off and have sex.
I felt sick about it (even though the emails were from March 2014) 
I still confronted him through texts and he said "what all do you know"
I said I know you cheated on me with a dude and he says "it happened one time I met up with a guy I didn't know he sucked my **** and that was it."

How am I supposed to feel about this?
Is my husband not attracted to me?
Is he gay?!
I also went through his internet history recently and it's all mostly guy on guy porn.... Help.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Uhhh...

Divorce.

Sorry.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Lvon said:


> My husband and I have been together since June 2012, he is a super nice guy, sweep me right off my feet.
> He only had sex 2 times when we got together. He was 18 and I was 20,
> I am now 23 and he is 22,
> Our relationship seems pretty normal.
> ...


He advertised for a guy to suck his ____ and met at least one guy you know about for the purpose of getting his ____ sucked (and to return the favor). Does it seriously matter to a person in your position whether we call your husband "gay", "bi", or a bag of Tostitos? He's just not husband or father material. He's dishonest, sexually unfaithful, he has incredibly poor judgment, and he's a magnificent conduit for any manner of sexually transmitted diseases you'd rather not have. 

Does it matter if he's attracted to you if he's not sexually faithful to you and if you can't trust him? If he found you incredibly attractive but he also found any number of strange men sexually attractive, would you be in a better position than if he found you unattractive? He's apparently primarily sexually attracted to guys. Unless you can grow a penis, you're going to be on his B team. I expect he will linger around you long enough to get a baby and then he'll astonish nobody with the news that he is gay and wants out of the marriage. He's spending hours on-line looking for gay sex just for the pleasure of sex but he's asking you specifically to make a baby. Does that not clear up your position? You've been had. Get out. Do it now. Thank your lucky stars you found out before you created a child with your pretend heterosexual partner.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I'm sorry. But you're his beard. 
I agree with unbelievable's post.

Doesn't really matter what his sexual orientation is. What really matters is he's cheating and can't be trusted.

Time to cut and run. I'm sorry.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Lvon said:


> My husband and I have been together since June 2012, he is a super nice guy, sweep me right off my feet.
> He only had sex 2 times when we got together. He was 18 and I was 20,
> I am now 23 and he is 22,
> Our relationship seems pretty normal.
> ...


Please 

PLEASE.....

Don't do this


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Lvon said:
> 
> 
> > My husband and I have been together since June 2012, he is a super nice guy, sweep me right off my feet.
> ...


* My friend, Unbelievable, has hit the proverbial nail squarely on the head!

You needed to be out of this relationship yesterday! Get yourself to your lawyer's office and while you're at it, get checked out by your doctor for any possible presence of STD's!

So sorry to see you here at TAM, but you've preeminently come to the right place!*


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

So in my life I've watch maybe 5 Oprah shows. One of those was about this. Bi guys living as straight but secretly engaging in bi encounters. They called it "being on the down low" There's a book on it blah blah blah. 

Run! He's a liar. He's a fraud. He's already potentially put your health at risk. Run!


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Call the ball on this marriage.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

Divorce/annul this marriage. Learn from this mistake. Eww. Just Ewww.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Don't know if he's technically gay or not but if he's had a man's penis in his mouth, he aint exactly Clint Eastwood.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> *Don't know if he's technically gay or not * but if he's had a man's penis in his mouth, he aint exactly Clint Eastwood.


* Gay, with a few latent heterosexual tendencies maybe?*


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

First, it is hard for women because gay men do a long of things better than straight ones. They talk more which women love, they like theatre, nice restaurants, and clothes and are not preoccupied with sex, at least heterosexual. Thirty years ago perhaps this might have made sense for the low desire women, but not today for either of you. The average guy finds this stuff repulsive. 

I am not sure why he shouldn't admit he's gay particularly in this day and age, and why you want to stay married to a gay man. Ask the average middle aged guy about prostate exams and you will find people are not crazy things much less what you outlined.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Sorry, but it is time to use your logical side, and ignore the fact that you love him.

Unfortunately, what you love is a construct, nowhere near to the real him. It is not your fault, he showed you what he wanted you to know about him. He spread misinformation to get the result he wants, and the person you love is really a twisted version of that person. You cannot know his thoughts, or you cannot pick up on the things he does not show or talk about. 
Unfortunately, he still triggers your love for him. You have created neural pathways of the things you know about him. It will trigger memories of the good and bad, of love and emotions. But the more he shows you the real him and the more time you have to process this new information, the more you can incorporate it with the knowledge of whom you know him to be.

Your best bet is to separate from him so your logical side can take over. Powerful neurotransmitters and hormones are released when you are around him, that is why you need to get away, because it will cloud your clarity of the situation you are in.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Bobby5000 said:


> First, it is hard for women because gay men do a long of things better than straight ones. They talk more which women love, they like theatre, nice restaurants, and clothes and are not preoccupied with sex, at least heterosexual. Thirty years ago perhaps this might have made sense for the low desire women, but not today for either of you. The average guy finds this stuff repulsive. .


Stereotype much?


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Stereotype much?


My thoughts exactly. I love to talk, like clothes, and enjoy culture.

OP... divorce. There's no working this one out.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The reason your husband asked you what you knew is because that way he can only admit to what you know. He's lying. No man does this just once out of the blue. He's done it more than once.

Picking up guys on Craigslist like he did is one of the most dangerous forms of sexual behavior there is.

You need to stop having sex with him at all and get tested for STD's. We had a woman here a while back whose husband did this. He got AIDs and passed it on to her. Hopefully he has not passed anything on to you.

In addition you need to leave him. He is not the person you think he is. He's one of the worse kinds of liars there are... a liar to uses another person (his wife) to make a good impression on society while all the while he's engaging in things that put his wife's health and the health of any future children at risk.


How are you supposed to feel about it? How DO YOU feel? Are you devastated? I'll bet.

Not only has he committed adultery (there is little doubt he's been doing it all along) but his level of lying.. hiding who he is, is something that should never be accepted or excused away.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Lvon said:


> My husband and I have been together since June 2012, he is a super nice guy, sweep me right off my feet.
> He only had sex 2 times when we got together. He was 18 and I was 20,
> I am now 23 and he is 22,
> Our relationship seems pretty normal.
> ...



Confront him on this and be blunt about it.

And I would move on if I were you. He obviously likes guys and wants sex with them, so why marry you and want kids? Disaster in the works waiting to happen if you ask me.......

Maybe he thought he could have secret sex with guys and still marry you on the side and have kids???

Adultery, lying, totally agreed.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

good evening
It doesn't matter if the other people he is contacting for sex are male or female. Unless you have agreed to an open relationship, he is cheating.

So your choices really are to either have an open relationship, or divorce. Its really unlikely he will stop behaving like this


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

"The reason your husband asked you what you knew is because that way he can only admit to what you know. He's lying. *No man does this just once out of the blue. He's done it more than once*." ELE

boy, aint that the truth!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

arbitrator said:


> * Gay, with a few latent heterosexual tendencies maybe?*


If his wife has to ask if he's gay, he's close enough.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Agree with the majority. Run for the hills! Plenty of men out there for you to enjoy this short life we live.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

I love the theatre, opera, classical music, interior design, cooking, gardening, museums, nice clothes, hair styles, I know what a duvet cover is, how to curl hair, how to wash delicates, how to braid, sew, etc, admit Ryan Gosling is hot, love vegan food, and...

...my penis only touches women. 

Your husband is gay. Divorce.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think that the OP is one post and gone. I hope she is ok.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I think that the OP is one post and gone. I hope she is ok.


Me too. Sad story for both of them. Hopeful they come to their senses before having kids. Have seen three divorces in family and friends where dad left for another guy when kids were in early teens. Those divorces are so much more confusing for kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> We had a woman here a while back whose husband did this. He got AIDs and passed it on to her.


What thread was that?? Jeez.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

Bobby5000 said:


> First, it is hard for women because gay men do a long of things better than straight ones. They talk more which women love, they like theatre, nice restaurants, and clothes and are not preoccupied with sex, at least heterosexual. Thirty years ago perhaps this might have made sense for the low desire women, but not today for either of you. The average guy finds this stuff repulsive.
> 
> I am not sure why he shouldn't admit he's gay particularly in this day and age, and why you want to stay married to a gay man. Ask the average middle aged guy about prostate exams and you will find people are not crazy things much less what you outlined.


Have you tried real life or do you rely on adverts and day time dramas?

Anyway, yes, get rid.


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