# Going Nuts



## rebanywhere (Oct 28, 2011)

I am recently divorced. I have a pretty good relationship with my ex-wife. During the last year of our marriage I had an affair with a friend of ours. The friend was not a good friend, rather more of a new friend. This affair is what drove me to realize that a divorce was what I should do, because I did not want to continue to cheat.

To complicate the matter a little more. The woman I cheated on my wife with introduced me to a friend of hers. When I separated I began to date the friend and have a really good relationship going with her. 

Since the divorce the woman I cheated on my ex-wife with has friended my wife to a degree that is sickening to me. She is trying to portray me as "the bad guy" for starting a relationship with her friend (after my separation). However I was cheating on my ex-wife with her. 

Question I am debating: Should I tell my ex-wife that this "supposed friend" of hers who is offering her all kind of advise and sympathy was the one who I actually cheated on with. I feel my ex-wife should know that she is a FRAUD! 
Would you want to know that your "new supposed best friend" was sleeping with your husband for almost the past year of the marriage?


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Yes, you should tell your ex-wife. She deserves to know. This “supposed friend” is a selfish user. 

Your ex-wife will probably be angry with you for a short time. Hopefully she will eventually see past that anger and realize you divulged this information because you do still care about what happens to her. She may also be sickened and beat herself up about how close she let this “supposed friend” become in her life. Unfortunately, your ex-wife will learn to be guarded for awhile when it comes to allowing a close or new friendship with another woman.


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## rebanywhere (Oct 28, 2011)

I agree, I still do care about my ex-wife to a degree and wish the very best for her. I do worry though that as soon as she develops a new relationship this "supposed friend" will most likely try to make a move on whoever he may be.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

I’m certain your marriage is also not the only one where “supposed friend” had an affair with the husband either.

Is “supposed friend” married herself?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

yeah the sooner your xw knows the truth the better because the more she invests in that friendship the more hurt she will be when it finally comes out.


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## rebanywhere (Oct 28, 2011)

Yes she is, but her husband "allows it".


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

rebanywhere said:


> Yes she is, but her husband "allows it".


is that what she told you, or do you know it first hand?


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## rebanywhere (Oct 28, 2011)

Know it first hand. They are swingers, and allow each other to engage in that behavior.


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