# Help! Before I destroy my marriage



## tryingtotrust (Jul 16, 2007)

Hi Everyone, If anyone can offer some advice on this, i'd truly appreciate it. I really don't trust my own thoughts right now, i don't know if i am blowing things out of proportion or not, and i'm driving myself crazy with all the thoughts going thru my head.

I have three issues actually:

#1- My husband seems to be able to lie without missing a beat. He lies to clients, his father, everyone. I jokingly said once that I wonder if he lies to me and he laughed it off. It really scares me how easily he can do it, its almost as if he believes it to be the truth. These are just little white lies, but still lies. Would anyone else out there be concerned?

#2-My husband really can only relate to people either on the phone or on the internet. Most days, I feel like I have a roommate who rarely talks. In his defence, he has been this way since i've met him, but I guess I thought when we got married, he would realize that I need to have some communication. My bad, i shouldn't have assumed that, i know. I have expressed to him that I feel alone alot and that I need more communication. I'm not trying to be selfish, I am very willing to give him his time alone. He spends on average 4-5 hours a day on the computer. I can help but feel like i'm competing with it. The other night, he was upset about a post on a website and spent three hours writing 3 paragraphs about his opinions. He is more than entitled to do that, but i had just talked to him earlier about wanting to spend some quality time together and he chose to get on the computer. 

#3 He rarely wants sex. Ok, i know i shouldn't complain, but I have found evidence of masturbation, which is alarming to me, since he doesn't want to make love. I don't care if he masturbates, but I don't want that to replace lovemaking. I feel like making love is a way of staying connected to each other. When I say rarely, i mean about once every 3 weeks. 


I have to point out that we have a family business where we spend most of our time together, and I would love to work outside of the business but it's not possible at this time because I work for our business cheaper than anyone else would.


Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. Thanks,


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## SageMother (Jun 28, 2007)

If you cannot stand your situation you are better off asking for a divorce than continuing with your unhappiness. It doesn't sound like his personality was a great secret before you married, and it doesn't sound like there is a path that will result in change.


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## Green-Moo (Feb 5, 2008)

Numbers 1 and number 3 i wouldn't worry too much about. If you don't have any evidence that he's lying to you, then why worry that he's capable of it?

Number 2 is more of a concern. If he was like this before you married then I'm guessing that he's going to find it hard to change.


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