# How to cope with separation



## JAYBLACK973 (Feb 21, 2011)

_My wife and I have been married for 11 years and together for 16 years. For several months she has been very cold and distant. I began doing counceling on my own in hopes to change myself for the better. I have given 100% towards our marriage and yesterday i just got tired of trying to break through the wall she has up around her heart. I told her to pack her things and get out. Before this happend she and I talked about separating and working towards a better marriage. All of my emotions came forward and I just couldn't take any longer. It's now day 2 and im feeling worse than i did yesterday. I wasn't able to get any answers from her about what we are doing and im trying to give her some space or atleast 2 or 3 days before i contact her. She says that we need time apart so that we will miss eachother and want to work hard towards a better marriage. Whats my next move? I'm still going to the counceling session because i release all that bothers me about our relationship and just everyday problems. How should i go about getting her to forgive and heal her heart and lose the anger and frustration?_


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

All is not loss in your situation ;o) You should be able to have a minimal amount of joy because it doesn't sound like either of you is ready to give it up totally. Maybe a breather is all you to are doing. I would take comfort in knowing that there is hope between the two of you.


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

I agree with Hesnot, it does sound like you have hope and you're both not ready for divorce-just need a little time. If I were in your position I would be a very happy person. Just let her have some time to herself however long it takes, it could be more time than you think, or less than you think. Try to be as patient as you can.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I think you should continue with your counseling, which it sounds like you are doing and that is good.
Think about it this way, your problems didn't start within 2-3 days so I don't think you can expect her to know what she wants 2-3 days after a separation. I say this because when couples separate, initially it is very hard and painful and everyone feels miserable. You need to work through that initial period and then see how you feel. Continue to work on you, get a life for yourself, and try to remember that everything in life happens the way it should, regardless of whether or not we wanted it that way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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