# Help! My snoring is hurting my marriage



## gtsanchez (Sep 26, 2010)

Recently (within the last year) I have begun to snore, and it has gotten steadily worse. I am a heavy sleeper and manage to sleep through just about anything. My wife, on the other hand, is a very light sleeper and cannot sleep through my snoring. It has gotten to the point that we are now sleeping in different rooms, and it is really killing me! I have tried mouthpieces, nasal strips, special pillows, and I am not exactly overweight (170 lbs, 5'10"). Nothing has helped with the snoring.

Now, I have had lots of insecurity, anxiety, and mild depression issues over our 24 year marriage that have caused lots of problems. Over the past couple of years I have made some great progress through counseling and cognitive therapy, and things seemed to be improving greatly for us. Now with this snoring issue and sleeping apart, my insecurities and anxieties have begun to pop up again.

My wife is angry with me for making this a big issue. For her, nothing changes except for where we sleep. For me it is a much bigger deal. We had talked about trying to increase the frequency of sex, and this seems to me to be not exactly conducive to that effort. It is hard to be intimate when you are sleeping apart! I also miss having her there to snuggle and hold each night. Then there is the anxiety that this will cause us to drift further apart just when things seemed to be improving. Am I making a big deal out of something that is really not a big issue as she tells me?

If any of you have any thoughts or suggestions on this, I could sure use some advice. The last thing I want to do is go back to my old anxious and insecure ways!!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

My H snores too! Im with you, i think it is a big deal. It would really bother me if my H and I were sleeping in separate rooms. 

my H snores only when he's on his back. i read once to tape a ball to the back of his shirt so every time he rolled on his back it woke him up. it worked well. he doesnt have it on his shirt anymore because said it was too annoying to wake up all the time! He wakes me up a couple times a night but i guess im just getting used to it. i also use ear plugs sometimes and that helps. putting a humidifier or fan in the room or something that makes a constant low noise helps, too. 

Do you exercise at all or eat right? that can make a huge difference. my H is not overweight either but if he's eating a lot of salts and not exercising the snoring gets worse.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

My dh snores but again only when he sleeps on his back. Do you have allergies? I wonder why you just started snoring. Is there something new you've done? New med? New diet? Do you need a new mattress? We recently sprung for an select comfort bed and that thing is awsome.

A fan helps too. I have a really loud one that drowns out the snoring.

Has your wife considered taking melatonin to help her sleep more deeply? I take 3mg and I'm out. Between that and the fan I sleep right through dh's snoring. I can count on one hand the number of times I've had to move to another room and that was usually because I was having trouble getting to sleep before he started snoring.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I also used to snore, and my wife trained me to sleep on my side. I think she used a shot to the ribs when I was laying on my back and snoring... Not sure if I'd recommend this approach, but it seemed to work.

C


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## castingabout (Mar 22, 2011)

Try Breathe Right Strips. I had a guy who roomed with me on the road years ago who was a HORRIBLE snorer. Sounded like he was dying. He had been sleeping in a recliner in his living room for the past 15 years because his snoring bothered his wife. He tried the strips, and slept quietly. The next day, I said, "Damn, Buddy! You could've been sleeping in your own bed all these years!" He never used the strips again.
My wife is a snorer, and uses the strips when she sleeps. I never hear her anymore, and she sleeps soundly.

It might be worth a try.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Oh, and ear plugs for your wife might be an option...

C


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

If none of that works then you need to see a ENT surgeon for possible palate reduction surgery. My dad had it to prevent sleep apnea.


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## gtsanchez (Sep 26, 2010)

Thank you all for your replies. I have tried a lot of what has been suggested (Breath right, side sleeping, earplugs) but she still can't sleep with my snoring. I think there might be something to the nutrition and exercise idea. I have not been exercising as much as I used to, and my diet could use some improvement. I am going to try that and see if getting in shape might help.

The bigger issue is the anxiety and sense of loss over sleeping in separate rooms. Am I just being over sensitive and insecure about this, or is this a potential big problem? My wife does not feel it is a big deal, but I can't help but feel that it is. What are some of your thoughts?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

gtsanchez said:


> The bigger issue is the anxiety and sense of loss over sleeping in separate rooms. Am I just being over sensitive and insecure about this, or is this a potential big problem? My wife does not feel it is a big deal, but I can't help but feel that it is. What are some of your thoughts?


I think it is a big deal because going to bed together is a very intimate thing. I would have a big problem if my H wanted to sleep in a separate room. If you feel disconnected from her already then this can really exacerbate things.


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## Alphan (Mar 23, 2011)

Snoring can really have devastating effects to a relationship. The fact that you stated you are now sleeping in different rooms with your spouse is already a big indication of a sour trend. There are a number of causes that may bring about this condition. 

Try to evaluate the cause and if it's a medical condition then you'd better seek treatment. The other causes that may trigger snoring are related to lifestyle. You said that you are not overweight. If you take alcohol or do smoke try to give it a break and assess the situation for some time. Sleep disorders are other things that may cause snoring. Make sure you are getting enough sleep.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

gtsanchez said:


> The bigger issue is the anxiety and sense of loss over sleeping in separate rooms. Am I just being over sensitive and insecure about this, or is this a potential big problem? My wife does not feel it is a big deal, but I can't help but feel that it is. What are some of your thoughts?


Nope you aren't overly sensitive I'd feel the exact same way if my dh slept somewhere else. I want my sweetie right next to me all night long. So for me it IS a big deal.


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## Red Riding Hood (Apr 14, 2011)

Do you have children? If you don't have children around the house all the time, it is a lot easier to have intimacy with your wife at times outside of bedtime.

Even with sleeping in different rooms, you can be creative with your intimacy. I can vouch that getting a good night's sleep can be critical. At times, usually when we had babies/small children waking, I sometimes slept in a separate bedroom, but we would try to be intimate together before I would move to the spare room.

Have you considered going to your doctor and discussing your snoring issue? Perhaps you have sleep apnea or some other sleeping disorder that could be resolved and thereby solve your sleeping arrangement problem and help to lessen your anxiety about it.

~ Red


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## code7600 (Mar 20, 2011)

GTSanchez, you might want to be tested for sleep apnea by a pulmonary specialist. Apnea can be life threatening. Plus, getting a CPAP or Bipap machine will stop
The snoring. It was so bad before with my wife's snoring that I slept in another room. That was not good for the marriage....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Badboy200393 (Nov 26, 2012)

Hey Man its really sad only for little problem like Snoring you are not sleeping with your partner. No man its not good for you both. I know you are sick, suffering and not done it for intentionally, but as you said you already use pills, mouth piece ans pillows but yet you not get any resolution for your problem. I think its because you didn't read or survey about your product. Because one of my friend having very good experience with Anti Snoring Mouthpiece. But Before This I think You should something Read about *Snore Free Sleep* by clicking on this and there you also can find your permanent solution....


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