# How much of your sexual History do you tell your husband/wife?



## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

I was much more sexually experienced than my husband when we met. As he's not ever going to sleep with anyone else and as there's certain things we don't do sexually I'm going to remain the more experienced.

Early on in the relationship I told him in general the various things I've done, just to be up front. Basically I made clear that i enjoyed the vast majority of them that I wasn't ashamed of anything, I was in a relationship with him now and I was willing to move on.

Anywho a few weeks ago we were in bed and he was reading a book and he turned around and asked me about group sex. I was totally gobsmacked, the novel he was reading touched on it, he was curious and since he had somebody in bed beside him that had experience with it he decided he'd turn around and ask her to expand on a point. If anybody else is thinking that's weird well after four years how hubbies mind works still surprises him.

So I basically refused to give details I just told him myself and a mate had sex with 3 blokes one time, that there were a particular set of circumstances leading up to it, and that if he wanted any details on group sex he should research it himself (in a book).Anywho afterwards I thought again about it and seeing he seemed genuinely curious and it hadn't been an unpleasant experience for me I described it to him in a bit more detail. A lot of the questions I couldn't even answer anyway it tended to be about the motivations rather than the actual act itself.

The thought of group sex doesn't really do anything for him sexually I'm fairly sure. I think its just so far outside his experience he was curious. I asked him afterwards if my describing previous sexual encounters might affect the way he thought about me. When he said no I believed firstly because he's quite truthful and secondly his mind doesn't work like that.

Anywho what does everybody else think?


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

my H knows everything about my sexual activity, doesnt bother him in the slightest.
we both were lucky (my opinion) to have had experiences with others before we met.
but my nature is just an open and honest person.
i dont do skeletons, they find there way out of the closet at some point when you least want them.


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## Guest (Jan 4, 2009)

Eeek... I didn't have any sexual experience before Collin, since I met him at 16! 

I think this has more to do with timing more than anything else, not a lack of, um, "naughtiness" on my part.

Though I have wondered once in a blue moon... what if I had had experience before him? Would I compare the two in terms of enjoyment, even involuntarily? What if a previous partner had been better in the sack then DH? That would niggle at more for the rest of my marriage, I think.


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## Uglee70 (Jan 2, 2009)

I am not opposed to discussing past encounters, but if my wife doesn't ask, then I assume she doesn't want to know, so I don't bring it up.

Besides, we've been married 12 years now and I don't think there's too much we don't know about each other. But we have, as I am sure all couples do, asked the question to satisfy our curiosity. Sometimes it can also bit a bit of a turn-on knowing what your partner has done in the past.


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## lostluv (May 12, 2008)

I do not, and will not, give any details about my prior experiences with my H. He is not the type to take things at face value or realize that they were in the past and that was then. If he was know of some of my past I'm sure he would be quite offended. For that reason I choose not to share.


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## TGolbus (Nov 3, 2008)

Lostluv you bring up a good point....you should know your spouse better than anyone else. Do what you think is best (based on openness, intimacy, how they will take it, etc). For us, we have 100% openness. The lack of candid discussions about sex in general (and how she missed out – me being her first) was a big issue for us to overcome. We did – just celebrated 10 years 2 days ago.


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## Susanne (Jan 5, 2009)

TGolbus, I absolutely agree with you, it really depends on where you are in your relationship and how the two of you are most comfortable!

My Hubby and I are very open about past relationships as we are both on our second marriage, but that said it can also become too open. Not everything in your past needs to be shared out right.

I now only tell if asked directly. After all it is the past


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

both my wife and I have never discussed past experiences. We had a buddy of mine and his wife over one night and he got drunk and started talking in detail about an experience he and i had with two girls one night years prior. i could tell it was upsetting my wife even though it was years before i knew her. after they left, she sexually attacked me and it was a top 3 sex session of all time with her. i never understood why she got so turned on, maybe she realized other women may be interested in me or she wanted to prove to me she could be better than anyone else, i don't know. if she was to seriously ask me i would tell her anything she wants to know about my past, but i am not gonna offer it up. 

on the other side, i am not sure i want to know about her sexual past. its probably best i never know the full details although i am fairly certain there is nothing overly steamy as she has always been a "good girl" type. but i guess ya never know.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

im a "good girl" type.

well thats what i tell myself.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

justean said:


> im a "good girl" type.
> 
> well thats what i tell myself.



but it isn't what you tell us


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

okeydokie said:


> but it isn't what you tell us


ahhh theres always a but..................
i stil see myself as the good girl, im honest and genuine.
thats the good girl stuff.
despite my nature and character, im not that bad and my only vice is enjoying sex. so not that bad when you consider all the vices out there.


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

My wife and I know the basic statistics of each other, but not the dirty details of it all.


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## women R complicated (Dec 20, 2008)

sarah.rslp, 
when we were first married, my wife is the one who brought up past relationships and wanted to know about mine. So i told her, withholding a few wildones. And then she told me, withholding a couple of people or conditions.
Then we came clean later with more details as we became more comfortable. I and she, did not know if the other one would get jelous.. She had anal sex, which i have never done that. So it was a little bit of a shocker. like wow.. 
I don't know to this day why she wanted to know.
I don't have a problem sharing past with your spouse. If you can't be honest and vulnerable with your so called, " best freind," then who can you talk to? I would never have brought that up to her but since she brought it up, i was open to it.


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## AVIRGO (Jan 15, 2009)

lostluv said:


> I do not, and will not, give any details about my prior experiences with my H. He is not the type to take things at face value or realize that they were in the past and that was then. If he was know of some of my past I'm sure he would be quite offended. For that reason I choose not to share.


And did that work for you? I would think that the basics would not be a problem - how many partners, just basics. I think the danger is in too much details, which can lead to images being created in the guys head - and the distructive retroactive jealousy that can occur causing pain for both partners.


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## AVIRGO (Jan 15, 2009)

You make a good argument for telling the truth up front. The trick is then to forget it and move on. I am fearful that there is comparing, and that I would come out are not as good. My wife ended up boasting about in and making things up since she was embarrised about the real story - it was more quick and dirty, and she made it out like it was wonderful. Then later she tried to tell me the truth, but never did - thinking that it would not matter anyway. Well it did matter, since she never told me how she felt about us, I did the comparing - and felt awful. You can say this was a case of bad communication - but it also is a case that men (like me) tend to had a large ego and want to be the 1st, best, biggest, greatest lovers for their mate - and may need some reassurance of that along the way. Stating a slanted past - then leaving it there without any positive reinforcement of the guy you are with can help produce a disaster.


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## lostluv (May 12, 2008)

AVIRGO said:


> And did that work for you? I would think that the basics would not be a problem - how many partners, just basics. I think the danger is in too much details, which can lead to images being created in the guys head - and the distructive retroactive jealousy that can occur causing pain for both partners.


My husband is aware that I have had mulitiple partners prior to him. This is my second marriage. How many...that he does not know. What the details are, once again I do not share.

He is a very black and white kind of person, that in itself sets the stage for the retroactive jealousy you refer to. If he ask me if I have tried something or like something I am honest in my answer, but I keep that answer very short. Usually a simple yes or no. It saves alot of issues and problems.

So I guess, for me, the answer is yes. Not everyone is that way though. Once again, I think it comes from knowing your mate. There are those who are capable of open discussion and for them things could very well work differently.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

okeydokie said:


> after they left, she sexually attacked me and it was a top 3 sex session of all time with her. i never understood why she got so turned on, maybe she realized other women may be interested in me or she wanted to prove to me she could be better than anyone else, i don't know.


Considering the angst you have expressed about your lack of response from her these days, this post speaks volumes.

A)It might be a clue as to how to press her elusive "hot" button.

B)Is it possible she eventually decided it was bad of you? OK, I'm just fishing here - that's how I work


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

this must sound so strange theses days but my husband has been my only partner and yes he still rocks my boat   ::O


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

Anyone else out here only had one partner?


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## ncreb24 (Jan 7, 2009)

justean said:


> my H knows everything about my sexual activity, doesnt bother him in the slightest.
> we both were lucky (my opinion) to have had experiences with others before we met.
> but my nature is just an open and honest person.
> i dont do skeletons, they find there way out of the closet at some point when you least want them.


Could not have said it better myself. <y Wife and I have been very open about our past and to be quite honest it has been beneficial to our sex lives and relationship.


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## Deniz (Mar 23, 2011)

I don't believe your marriage will last long.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> How much of your sexual History do you tell your husband/wife?


There was very little for either of us to tell (no other partners) just a few naughty things I did with a neighbor boy - but I told it all - and before we ever married.


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## Camper (Feb 26, 2011)

Deniz said:


> I don't believe your marriage will last long.


You could ask if they are still together, the post is over a year old.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Old post but good question. I have told him how many men I have been with (not many all long term). But I think on some things I'm still a little naive, I only just learned about some things in the last year or so. In fact some things still shock me.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

My husband knows way more than I would like him to, because of a series of events about 3 years ago.
I don't think that it's wise for a woman to share how many partners she has had. Most men are very judgemental about experienced women.
That said, my hubby sees my past as my past and nothing more. He also gets a thrill from taming a vixen; I was quite wild for a few years. Glad I got that out of my system!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I wouldn't ask and I wouldn't expect anyone to ask me. If asked I would be vague.


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## Anooniemouse (May 5, 2010)

I've been burned in this area. K has some anxiety issues, and disclosures here have led in the past to her spinning her wheels, imagining the worst ... Yeah, bad prior marriage for her, ended with infidelity on his part, but at some point ... you either trust a person or you don't. 

So when she asked me again along the same lines ...I hesitated a moment before answering that, and answered her questions as completely as I could (having the thought "Oh joy, now she will be spinning off on this for weeks for nothing...). Yeah, I still took some heat for it, but instead of several weeks of her spinning out into loopy land with it; it as over in about 4-5 hours. Still the whole experience actually offended me. Aside from occasionally grabbing a cigarette after class (I quit awhile back ... 29 days out of 30 I still am off of them, and I haven't lied to her about that) or during mid-terms or finals, and an occasional drink while playing a show -- there really isn't any reason for her to have the jealousy issues, fears of infidelity, trust issues, or to feel I've ever lied to her during our time together. I'm not exactly attending sex addicts anonymous meetings or an active member of the swingers club ... just had a lot more experimentation, and a lot more partners than she did before we were together. 

The whole thing made me realize why the bible calls for people to abstain before marriage. No issue then, right? Just not something you can turn back the clock on. Meah. YMMV!


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## Rags (Aug 2, 2010)

My wife was a virgin on our wedding night. I was not. She knows about the exes (can list them, in order, and what sort of relationship it was - whether there was oral sex, if she swallowed, if she came easily, etc.)
I know about her past boyfriends, how far she went, which one she had her first orgasm with (clothed) which ones she took her top off for (she has fab breasts - well worth sharing), which one she felt up, etc. And how far she played with other girls (only she claims not to remember too much about that - she was young ...)

So, I guess it's fairly mundane, all things considered, but we told eachother absolutely everything.


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## Wondering1 (Jul 7, 2011)

It is a tricky question for me...

My wife had a very hot affair about 7 years ago, which lasted 12 months.

We sorted things out, but I still often wonder so much about her and this guy. She left very early every morning for work, and came home late at night - it seemed normal for her kind of work at that time. She was also away for almost every weekend 6 weeks in a row, but again it was quite normal in her kind of work.

It still amazes me how she went full throttle for this guy - I never experienced her like that!

So, I often still wonder how long before she again wants to be satisfied again like he did...
Even though I fight away the thoughts, I still catch myself dreaming of them kissing and having passionate sex.

Any suggestions or advice ?


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

We both know about each others previous activity but honestly I couldn't possibly care less who she banged or how many she banged before me. I only care what occurs after I came on the scene.


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## expressjones (May 31, 2011)

Would your opinion of not wanting to know be different if a person on the list was a mutual acquaintance or someone you may come in contact regularly (co-worker, friend of a friend, etc.)?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

expressjones said:


> Would your opinion of not wanting to know be different if a person on the list was a mutual acquaintance or someone you may come in contact regularly (co-worker, friend of a friend, etc.)?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Not sure who this is directed to but i'm pretty sure shes told me everything we have been together for 36 years and married 34. Our communication is wide open. My point was that It shouldn't be an issue. She didn't even know me then so why would it be an issue unless I were just insecure. My opinion is unchanged. I'm the chosen one.


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## Locard (May 26, 2011)

Most guys do not want to know that thier W was near darn near gang banged. 

Matter of fact, no matter how many Cosmo magazines or internet forums yell otherwise, if you weren't a V when you got with your H, 90% would rather just know that you have had a past with no details. The other 10% are good at lying to themselves.


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## weR2 (Jul 9, 2011)

Stonewall said:


> Not sure who this is directed to but i'm pretty sure shes told me everything we have been together for 36 years and married 34. Our communication is wide open. My point was that It shouldn't be an issue. She didn't even know me then so why would it be an issue unless I were just insecure. My opinion is unchanged. I'm the chosen one.


I AGREE! It seems to me that I because I believe in honesty and openness, I prefer to know all the details. Often times the truth comes out, sooner or later! Imagine if the truth comes out later, then all the trust that has been mustered over the years goes right out the window. NOW, you will think, " Okay, if my SO cannot tell me what happened before we became attached, then surely my SO will not tell me if something happened after we became attached. How far can I trust my SO?" 

I do realize that there are many people out there that do not think this way, and I always wonder how these people can "carry" this burden their entire life, hoping that they will not be discovered or that nobody will "blow the whistle" on them. My wife is one of these people, and I do wonder, but understanding her belief on the issue, I just accept that more has happened that I will never know about. And, I suspect that there are other that have happened since we became a couple, I just don't know the details. I do not ask her because I do not want to put her into the position where she will be uncomfortable discussing it, that would only lead to grief.

As Stonewall says, I am her "chosen one" and I am fine with that. In the end, it is her life and her search, she pays the price mentally and spiritually. She really hasn't hurt me, she only hurts herself. Well, I guess the way that it does hurt me is not being able to truly understand her as a life-long companion. And, I constantly have to decipher when she has erred in menial ways, like trying to cover up when she errs with the checkbook or when she breaks something and tries to fix it without me finding out about it. Those things are very trying for a relationship. 

I say start out honest and you will end more understanding.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

No big thing either way. And let's be realistic that many people get remarried.


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## TDI99 (Aug 16, 2011)

Not that it's any sort of obsession, but I have to say that if I thought my wife had to with hold info because she felt she couldn't or wouldn't trust my maturity or had doubts to the effect it would have on our marriage, I would find that a serious trust issue, and would cast doubts on my belief in the relationship. On the other hand, if I didn't make her feel confident enough to WANT to openly share things, what would that say about me? B'sides, open sexual sharing makes GREAT pillow talk, altho not every guy is mature enough. So I guess it comes down to the individual relationship.


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## TDI99 (Aug 16, 2011)

.."Most guys do not want to know that thier W was near darn near gang banged."
......why wouldn't I, if she enjoyed it!? Details!!

.."90% would rather just know that you have had a past with no details. The other 10% are good at lying to themselves."
......you give little credit for maturity or for an adventurous outlook to life, or for maintaining an exciting marriage.. I rather think that your speculation is more akin to 30% overall, noting the new growing trend towards men wanting to share their wives sexually. Betting that 100% of married men have entertained that idea in fantasy, and that 75% would give their right arm to see it.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

TDI99 said:


> .."Most guys do not want to know that thier W was near darn near gang banged."
> ......why wouldn't I, if she enjoyed it!? Details!!
> 
> .."90% would rather just know that you have had a past with no details. The other 10% are good at lying to themselves."
> ......you give little credit for maturity or for an adventurous outlook to life, or for maintaining an exciting marriage.. I rather think that your speculation is more akin to 30% overall, noting the new growing trend towards men wanting to share their wives sexually. Betting that 100% of married men have entertained that idea in fantasy, and that 75% would give their right arm to see it.


Are you saying most men fantasize about their wives being gang banged?

Well that would make me feel like a piece of meat. Not someone he loved and cherished. I truly would be just a cum resepticle. Hmm how loving.

How can you say you really value someone, and who they are, yet would want that to happen? That to me would take a certain level of detatchment. Or the viewing of your wife as somehow not a real person.


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## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

We all have fantasies. Nothing wrong with it...infact its perfectly normal.

For those of you who are in a sex filled marriage (!!) I am sure there are times when you make very slow, very intimate love to your partner....its very close and quietly mindblowing.
Then you have the other sort of 'sex'....when you are both exceedingly horny...you want to rip each other clothes off and just bonk like crazed animals!

That is the part of a mans psyche that would like to see his wife get bonked by two men whilst giving the third a BJ!.... The same part that makes a man fantacise about having sex with 3 women at the same time.
There isnt a drop of love involved anywhere. Its just plain, simple, sex.

Sorry - edited to refer to original subject! - Personally I don't think it really matters telling each other about past experiences etc... though it can lead to jealousy or feelings of not matching up. In general people just move on...all water under the bridge now...


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I think a huge part of the question of past experiences is if your SO has put in more effort and more passion for another person than you. It tells you something about how they value you and the relationship.

If they were up for acts with others that they won't try with you: then you hear that you are lower in priority to them than this other partner was. 

If they spent money time and effort buying special outfits and wearing them and putting real effort into pleasing another person, yet they only put the smallest effort into you: then you know your place and priority.

So for people who have a lived wild and exciting sex lives prior to their current partner, you need to make sure your partner NOW experiences you showing through your actions that they are your highest value and highest priority partner. You don't necessarily have to do each and every act you did with someone else with them, but your certainly need to make sure you put more passion and effort into them than you did anyone before them.

Who would feel loved and valued if their SO told them they were not worthy of the effort that some other partner was?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Everyone Lies

-Greg House


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## Clarence Rutherford (Feb 13, 2011)

Everything I've read recommends only telling the other generalities, not specifics.
be honest ~ the other needs to know what they're "buying"... but don't go into detail even if the other asks. 

You don"t wanna cause unnecessary hurt to the other,especially if the other was hoping for something else (say the other was a Christian virgin or had little experience.)

Now on the other side, the inexperienced should be mature enough to understand people have pasts and how hard it is to resist the sex drive...

@ 26, I truthfully answered this 30 year old virgin I dated for 6 mos. who brought up marriage... She literally came to tears when I told her of my very limited experience (<5X ~ 3X in HS & all of 2X 19~26.... 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We just know numbers. They are both pretty low. He once started to go into detail about one time he had (we were newly dating) and I calmly told him I didn't really want to here it.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> I think a huge part of the question of past experiences is if your SO has put in more effort and more passion for another person than you. It tells you something about how they value you and the relationship.
> 
> If they were up for acts with others that they won't try with you: then you hear that you are lower in priority to them than this other partner was.
> 
> ...


Good points.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

My wife knows who I had relationships with. She never asked any real specifics. I would have shared if asked. She has met two of them before we were married. 

She heard me and one of my GFs break the bed. We did not fix the bed until the morning. She met her that morning. I was never asked how we broke the bed. Been dying to tell her this many years. 

Come to think of it she met both of them, at different times and they were wearing ... sheets. hmmmm. Just realized that.

My wife had one partner before me. Her first marriage. She volunteered some information but I took it with the proverbial grain of salt. i.e. very complimentary about me vs. him. Whatever.


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## howmuchcanamantake (Jul 19, 2011)

If you can't live without her, at least find yourself a honey and get even and stop wondering. Kick the legs out from under her pedestal.


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

I had a fair amount of history before my wife. Some of the things i did before I met her may not be things she needs to know and vice versa. 

In some ways marrying your only partner makes things cut and dried but, for everyone else it is complicated. 

I think people have a right to having privacy regarding their past. I think if if you need to know someone's past you should do so BEFORE marriage or shortly into dating. 

Be careful of the "just curious" or "i won't get mad" promises. Trust me that can (and has)backfired on many occasions. Before you tell your partner about your ex boyfriends enourmous penis and how he could go all night or how your ex girlfriend liked it in the A## or anything in between you should really consider is this a topic that really needs to be discussed. I am not sure the good that comes out of it.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

tjohnson said:


> I had a fair amount of history before my wife. Some of the things i did before I met her may not be things she needs to know and vice versa.
> 
> *In some ways marrying your only partner makes things cut and dried but, for everyone else it is complicated. *
> 
> ...


Exactly. That is why I respect those that choose to marry a women with what they consider to be a reasonable and compatible sexual history. Folks jump on guys for this. Yet, this one area can simplify many things yet to come.


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## JRiZZY (Aug 11, 2011)

Well I pretty much told him everything, and I wish I hadn't. He makes stupid comments every now and then about spanish or black men, and often has things to say about penis size. I used to date a spanish guy with a large penis, and a black guy when I was in high school. Boy oh boy do I wish I had kept it to myself.


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## Clarence Rutherford (Feb 13, 2011)

JRiZZY said:


> Well *I pretty much told him everything*, and I wish I hadn't. He makes stupid comments every now and then about spanish or black men, and often has things to say about penis size. I used to date a spanish guy with a large penis, and a black guy when I was in high school.
> 
> Boy oh boy do I wish I had kept it to myself.


His actions were classless. That's uncalled for behavior.

You need to kindly ask him to stop. He's holding your past against each other.

I never say anything bad about my wife's ex-fiance....


I never got into specifics when you're s'posed to "tell all..."
Wasn't a virgin as I posted, but some women I dated were (not necessarily_ innocent_, though), so didn't want to look "less" in front of them.
And didn't want to cause them unnecessary harm if their dream was to marry a virgin man...

...or the reverse, in case she had a lot of experience, didn't want to look so naive, though I was and knew little about women and sex.... 



> @ 26, I truthfully answered this 30 year old virgin I dated for 6 mos. who brought up marriage... She literally came to tears when I told her of my very limited experience (<5X ~ 3X in HS & all of 2X 19~29....


She was odd.
As soon as she turned 30, seemed like all hell broke loose.
There was _nothing _she couldn't find wrong with me.

Funny how she was so "politically open-minded" which I didn't esp. like at the time, but didn't want to let political feelings get in the way of what otherwise looked to be a good relationship with who I thought was "The One" -- until she started openly attacking my views.... (then, I finally got a backbone)

... So much for tolerance... how she "understood" and openly showed disappointment when I told her about my past... as small a past as it was....


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

My wife and I discussed generalities. Roughly how many. She had had many more partners than me but that has never bothered me. The only specifics we discussed was our first and at what age. We never discuss features, techniques, measurements or specific encounters. That has worked well for us and we don't have any friction about sexual history. We recognize our history is in fact "practice" for what we do for each other as lovers as a couple. She did once comment that she had never had sex in the back seat of a car. We took care of that, then and there.


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## MissLayla1986 (Aug 27, 2010)

I was a virgin until I got married, but I'm pretty sure my husband had a promiscuous phase before we met. I don't know this for an absolute certainty, but he has mentioned that he had a phase in his life in which he "did things he's not proud of" and the context in which he said it made it clear that he was talking about sex. Plus, the first time we made love, it seemed like he really knew what he was doing, and he sometimes has some very specific sexual requests that indicate he's done these things with other people before. He hasn't told me any details about his sexual past, and I haven't asked. Sometimes I'm curious and tempted to press him on it, but I resist that temptation because I know that nothing good can come of it. My husband probably wouldn't tell me, and I would probably just get angry and jealous. I know that he's repented (we're both practicing Muslims) and has no interest in revisiting that part of his life, so that's good enough for me. So I think that in most cases, it's a subject that's best left untouched.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I told him everything because there wasn't much to tell. I only had 2 partners before him. He on the other hand had a promiscuous past. Didn't tell me EVERYTHING and I don't want to know everything but I have an idea.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My past was 'checkered'. I tried filling in the blanks where I could remember. I made no effort to hide anything but didn't go into the blow by blow as it were.


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## bg 600 (Aug 8, 2013)

JRiZZY said:


> Well I pretty much told him everything, and I wish I hadn't. He makes stupid comments every now and then about spanish or black men, and often has things to say about penis size. I used to date a spanish guy with a large penis, and a black guy when I was in high school. Boy oh boy do I wish I had kept it to myself.


******** If he cannot handle the truth he should not have asked or move on. I always demand the truth if i am going to commit.
If she lies and i find out i she's gone. If it's too much for me she's gone. People need to find what they can handle or leave.


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## bg 600 (Aug 8, 2013)

Clarence Rutherford said:


> His actions were classless. That's uncalled for behavior.
> 
> You need to kindly ask him to stop. He's holding your past against each other.
> 
> ...


****** This is once again why if you REALLY want to know the answer the other person should be truthful . If you find that's too much to your liking you can always leave( not berate them).
IF THE OTHER PERSON HAS ANYTHING THAT YOU CANNOT LIVE WITH- Penis too small, breasts too small, loose vagina you should NOT COMMIT TO THEM. No one should should be in a committed relationship that they cannot handle or out of obligation.:smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## bg 600 (Aug 8, 2013)

Entropy3000 said:


> Exactly. That is why I respect those that choose to marry a women with what they consider to be a reasonable and compatible sexual history. Folks jump on guys for this. Yet, this one area can simplify many things yet to come.


******** If the other person does not want to discuss the issue
and it's going to bother you you should leave them. Is that what you are saying ? If it is that's great.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

My h and I did not discuss our past relationships with each other. It's pretty much off limits to him and I certainly respect it. He doesn't want to hear mine or share his. I'm absolutely fine with it. Neither of us were virgins when we met, we both were divorced upon meeting.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

howmuchcanamantake said:


> If you can't live without her, at least find yourself a honey and get even and stop wondering. Kick the legs out from under her pedestal.


Someone wrote this over 2 years ago. We were talking about the concept of "Pedastalized" WAS's... Wayward husbands and wives alike, that the act of caring and taking care of them while they are in an affair is building a stable and resiliant pedastal...

howmuchcanamantake's response illustrates that for their to be a chance at reconciliation the pedastal must be removed...


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## FrenchFry (Oct 10, 2011)

Zombie.


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