# Introductions of new mates to kids



## What goes Around... (Mar 22, 2012)

I gave my story on another thread, but I'll try to iterate the relevant points (sorry I have trouble being brief).

Extramarital affair led to spouse filing divorce. All intents and purposes she left me after 16 years to be with OM (She says our marriage "was over for years").

She has been trying to seamlessly transition from our 16 year relationship to the OM, even despite divorce still in progress, details about kids and money yet to be ironed out, and he himself was cheating and betraying his family, is in the same boat.

I've been concerned for my kids since the get go. Especially with premature introductions. Not only this, my spouse is basically allowing the guy to move into my house, pretty much full time, regardless if kids are there (we have 50:50 custody).

Is this smart behavior on the part of my STBEX. Of course I'm emotional about this (although accepting), but at the same time think common sense would say, wait for at least a bit, until details are done etc etc. Any good articles out there about the dangers? Would love to throw something in her face during court discussions.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I think most of the literature says wait a few months before introducing new partners to the children. It's difficult for them to go through their parent's separation, but to have another person in their life? It's way too soon, and confusing for the kids.

But, you also need to set aside your anger about this and not allow the kids to pick up on that, it'll just make things worse for them.


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## What goes Around... (Mar 22, 2012)

Wait a "few months". From when?

I read a year after divorce. But we are now a year into separation. I still own the home the OM freeloads in.

Introductions are over and done and have been for awhile. I think my kids know they are an item. That's fine I guess. It's the cohabitation thing that ruffles me. I find it odd that my ex to be thinks it is an OK thing to do before divorce is even over.

Again, anyone have any decent articles on the subject.


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