# need help



## ldzz (Sep 13, 2009)

I have been maried for 12years. have 3 kids(boys). My question is should I still keep waiting for my husband to change his ways? My husband never says I love you. He's never romantic and hes always going out to the clubs with out me. He just says " get my clothes ready, I am going out."


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

And do you get his clothes ready? Are you his maid?

What discussions have you had with him about his behavior?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

ldzz said:


> He just says " get my clothes ready, I am going out."


wow im really sorry. that must really hurt. but that tells me two things- he's insensitive, and you actually created that. because my H would never say that to me (even if he's thinking it)- id get his clothes ready, id put 'em all in a box so they'd be ready for him to move out with. you've got to create some friction if you expect him to change.


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## variety (Sep 6, 2009)

By doing what your husband ask you to do, eg get his clothes ready, so that he can go out, he will continue to think that it is ok to do that. Let him know that it is not ok. Be direct and assertive with the language you use. 
Don't wait around so that he sees the opportunity to ask you to do that. Keep your self occupied and go out with friends/family/ or even consider doing volunteer work.


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## alwaysalone (Nov 17, 2007)

Blanca said:


> wow im really sorry. that must really hurt. but that tells me two things- he's insensitive, and you actually created that. because my H would never say that to me (even if he's thinking it)- id get his clothes ready, id put 'em all in a box so they'd be ready for him to move out with. you've got to create some friction if you expect him to change.


Blanca: that is not true. she may not be helping the situation by doing it for him but she did not create it. and she probably does it so there isnt a huge fight. i would do it too to make sure there isnt an argument. 

But I do agree that it needs to change. Don't do anything for him. Make him do it himself. Yes, it might cause an argument but enough is enough. He is your husband and he needs to start acting it. Talk to him, make him understand how you feel.


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## Lizzie60 (Sep 13, 2009)

ldzz said:


> I have been maried for 12years. have 3 kids(boys). My question is should I still keep waiting for my husband to change his ways? My husband never says I love you. He's never romantic and hes always going out to the clubs with out me. He just says " get my clothes ready, I am going out."



Sorry but I can't believe that a woman would be 'stupid' enough to do something like that.. sorry if I'm harsh.. but methink this thread is only a provocative post to start unecessary bashing.. I could be wrong.. 

I just can't believe this..


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## manin_charge (Sep 17, 2009)

I think you have been taken advantage of for way to long. It's good that your finally questioning your current state. Honestly, this should have been done way sooner, since you've waited so long, your husband thinks it's ok, and continues to do it. I do things for my wife, not because I have to because i want to. I'm currently dealing with martial issues. I think a seperation would be the best bet, because this man has no feelings for you, except you provide everything he needs, with very few strings attached. You need to demand more, or he needs to, "get his clothes ready" and pack his **** and go. I think you deserve more.


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