# Deadbeat Wife



## Elwood Blues

How many of you have a deadbeat wife? You know the type: She hasn't worked in years, she's morbidly obese, you sleep in separate areas of the house, she's constantly screaming at you and even becoming physically violent, she refuses to cook or clean even for herself, she spends all the household money on herself and refuses to budget, she runs up thousands in credit card bills, she takes "vacations" by herself, she refuses to exercise or lose weight (because YOU are supposed to love her the "way she is"). This person has no friends, her family can't stand her because she's just as awful to them as she is to you, and she is constantly pining to be rich and have more money without actually working for it. She's paranoid, angry, depressed, and has "chronic pain" for which no doctor (and there have been many) can figure out. She takes narcotics, she eats nothing but cake, cookies, and Lucky Charms most of the time and she blames you for "letting her get this way". 
Why don't you leave? Well, she has this figured out. She has told you (several times in fact) that if you try to leave she will go to the police and tell them that you are a wife abuser and that you hit her and she's afraid for her life. They will of course believe her without proof and you will lose your job, your house, your child, and your respect. The Divorce will finalize and you will have to pay this lout for child support, for alimony, and for "pain and suffering". You never touched her, not once, but the law is what the law is and you have no power AND SHE KNOWS THIS. In conclusion there are two lessons to be learned. 
Lesson 1: DO NOT EVER EVER EVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET MARRIED!
And...
Lesson 2: DO NOT EVER EVER EVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET MARRIED! 
Thank you for your time.


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## LonelyinLove

Not every wife is like that...


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## tonedef

You could always threaten to leave and record (depending on your states laws) her threatening false allegations to prove otherwise. No one should live like that. She sounds h3llish.. Wow
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifeistooshort

Lesson one: record her threats and go to the police yourself. 

And not being married won't stop a nut from claiming you abused her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShameLessLover

Record, record, record.




Elwood Blues said:


> How many of you have a deadbeat wife? You know the type: She hasn't worked in years, she's morbidly obese, you sleep in separate areas of the house, she's constantly screaming at you and even becoming physically violent, she refuses to cook or clean even for herself, she spends all the household money on herself and refuses to budget, she runs up thousands in credit card bills, she takes "vacations" by herself, she refuses to exercise or lose weight (because YOU are supposed to love her the "way she is"). This person has no friends, her family can't stand her because she's just as awful to them as she is to you, and she is constantly pining to be rich and have more money without actually working for it. She's paranoid, angry, depressed, and has "chronic pain" for which no doctor (and there have been many) can figure out. She takes narcotics, she eats nothing but cake, cookies, and Lucky Charms most of the time and she blames you for "letting her get this way".
> Why don't you leave? Well, she has this figured out. She has told you (several times in fact) that if you try to leave she will go to the police and tell them that you are a wife abuser and that you hit her and she's afraid for her life. They will of course believe her without proof and you will lose your job, your house, your child, and your respect. The Divorce will finalize and you will have to pay this lout for child support, for alimony, and for "pain and suffering". You never touched her, not once, but the law is what the law is and you have no power AND SHE KNOWS THIS. In conclusion there are two lessons to be learned.
> Lesson 1: DO NOT EVER EVER EVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET MARRIED!
> And...
> Lesson 2: DO NOT EVER EVER EVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET MARRIED!
> Thank you for your time.


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## Mrs. Rodriguez

Yea I would record her threats and then leave. From my experience cops know bull ****. They are used to fakers. Have someone come escort you when you leave. Sounds like you would be much happier. 
How long has she been this way?


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## Thundarr

Don't be troll bait.


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## Elwood Blues

She turned into this thing about 3 minutes after we signed the marriage license. Her behavior was literally the complete opposite of this behavior (and eating habits) during our entire year of courtship and engagement. Not kidding, she changed personalities ON THE RIDE HOME FROM THE COURTHOUSE. I wish I was smarter!!!


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## EnigmaGirl

Not that I'm siding with her but what kind of husband are you?

Is there a reason why she basically went rogue right after marriage?

By the way, I just got remarried to a guy who had a 30 year marriage to a pretty horrible woman. Although I can say he had a little PTSD when we first met, he never really blamed her actions on me or all of female-kind. We are unique creatures and your experience with her is not necessarily indicative of what your life would be like with someone else.

If this is all one-sided and sometimes it is....I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I wish you better luck in the future.


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## EleGirl

Elwood Blues said:


> She turned into this thing about 3 minutes after we signed the marriage license. Her behavior was literally the complete opposite of this behavior (and eating habits) during our entire year of courtship and engagement. Not kidding, she changed personalities ON THE RIDE HOME FROM THE COURTHOUSE. I wish I was smarter!!!


How long have you been married.


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## Dogbert

Please go to counseling for yourself. Find out what is the reason that you are willing to put up with so much abuse from her.

You have free will to file for divorce and move on with your life. If you choose to play the martyr then you have no one to blame but yourself.


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## happy as a clam

She sounds like a real gem... 

I agree with the others. Record the conversations; better yet, secretly video tape the whole thing so the cops can see that you are clearly not being aggressive.

Then file for divorce pronto.


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## Happilymarried25

Elwood Blues said:


> She turned into this thing about 3 minutes after we signed the marriage license. Her behavior was literally the complete opposite of this behavior (and eating habits) during our entire year of courtship and engagement. Not kidding, she changed personalities ON THE RIDE HOME FROM THE COURTHOUSE. I wish I was smarter!!!


I don't believe a person can change like that so quickly. I have a feeling you aren't being totally truthful. What is you part in the decline of your marriage?


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## lenzi

People change after marriage. Or, they show their true colors after marriage, or, there's this fear of commitment thing, and the sex stops and the distancing starts.

Whatever the case, I do agree with your statement about never getting married.

Marriage is pointless. Nothing to gain, and everything to lose.


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## scatty

That's why my husband and I waited almost 25 years to get married. Just to be sure what we were getting.


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## FormerSelf

Don't let her bully you to force you to stay in this nightmare. The time for waiting the storm out to see if she'll change is over. My guess is she has a personality disorder, so just document and record...and make plans to cut her lose.


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## Dogbert

lenzi said:


> People change after marriage. Or, they show their true colors after marriage, or, there's this fear of commitment thing, and the sex stops and the distancing starts.


Yes. But the problem is that no one put a gun to our heads and married us to these broken people. We did this on our own.



> Whatever the case, I do agree with your statement about never getting married.
> 
> Marriage is pointless. Nothing to gain, and everything to lose.


Marriage has always been a risky business for both men and women. I doubt that even if it were replaced with something more egalitarian and less State intrusive, the risk will always be there for fools high on Oxytocin, Dopamine and Endorphines hoping to beat the odds on a game they have absolutely no knowledge on how to play to win.


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## lenzi

Dogbert said:


> Yes. But the problem is that no one put a gun to our heads and married us to these broken people. We did this on our own.


True- and when the proverbial sh!t hits the proverbial fan, many people point their fingers at the greedy attorneys and the biased corrupt courts and the unfair divorce laws and the only place they don't point the finger is at the Ahole who made the decision to get married in the first place. 

I know because I'm one of them.


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## delupt

I'm in your club too Lenzi & Dogbert. We married crazy. Sure, deluded, but smart enough to know.

It's our own fault. Staying in physically, verbally, sexually, financially abusive relationships is a choice. Adults are never 'victims' or 'survivors'. Face up to the consequences and act.


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## Dogbert

Being a victim of spousal betrayal is not shameful but allowing onself to continue to be victimized by staying in a toxic marriage, is.


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## vellocet

Elwood Blues said:


> Why don't you leave? Well, she has this figured out. She has told you (several times in fact) that if you try to leave she will go to the police and tell them that you are a wife abuser and that you hit her and she's afraid for her life.


Then this is what you do. Without her knowing, see an attorney, tell him/her this and document what she says with dates and times and let your attorney formulate a plan. That way you are on record as documenting what she said she would do BEFORE she does it.


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## wasted2muchtime

Elwood, I feel for you man.


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## worley

my ex wife is a useless lump too.

I still can't bring myself to hate women or marriage. 
I like them too much and even though I've had another thing that meant a lot to me fall through since, I'm still open to letting someone in. shutting the doors keeps the good ones out too.

it's been an experience and I've learned a couple lessons along the way for sure.

single life isn't so bad anyway. if you have a lot to offer, the talent pool is actually pretty deep out there.


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## Elwood Blues

Happilymarried25 said:


> I don't believe a person can change like that so quickly. I have a feeling you aren't being totally truthful. What is you part in the decline of your marriage?


Whatever you "believe" is of no consequence. The truth is what the truth is. BTW folks... not every state allows recorded conversations between spouses without their consent as evidence. Also, many states (mine included) are No Fault divorce states which means it doesn't matter what happens the judge generally rules the way they see fit and that doesn't bode well for me. And the answer is YES I have seen an Attorney and her advice was to hide money and stick it out until she leaves. Maybe that's a crappy attorney but that may be the best bet.
Your question was "what was my part in the decline of our marriage?" The answer is: I trusted her. I should have known better. I should have annulled the marriage but I waited too long for her to "change" back into my fiancee. My mistake, and one that I will never make again.


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## turnera

Elwood Blues said:


> Lesson 1: DO NOT EVER EVER EVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET MARRIED!
> And...
> Lesson 2: DO NOT EVER EVER EVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET MARRIED!


REAL lesson: Man up, become an alpha male, and stop allowing this sh*t.


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