# Ask the guys first...



## cs1225 (Aug 7, 2015)

Brand new to the site so bear with me and a quick background.

Married 5 years (2nd for both of us) together for almost 7. All the kids are almost out of the house and we are only 40. I had the fortunate experience of selling my company last year for early retirement.

My wife decided to enjoy the time as well leaving her part time job and we did some traveling etc.

In February of this year, her former boss, committed suicide and they begged her to come back. She reluctantly did, but i never saw her grieve (but everyone has their own way) Fast forward to July this year, the day before we are to leave on what is supposed to be the final "family vacation" with the kids since they are off to college, she gets in a wreck and destroys her "baby" of a car. 

We leave the next morning, vacation was a nightmare, we visited DC for the kids (their idea) saw the fireworks etc. the day we arrived an active shooter alert at the Navy Shipyard 3 blocks from the hotel. 2 days later another active shooter at the Lincoln Memorial. This time I grabbed her to cover her, but the kids were no where around and she went to chase looking for them, since I didnt i was the bad guy.

Now here we are 45 days later, she is pretty depressed, she says she doesnt know why. we had plans to move out of state , a house is in the process of being built and we just paid a franchise fee for a new company... now she says everything is up in the air and cant even tell me for sure, if when she figures everything out, if I am still part of the picture...

We have always been the "fun couple" the one everyone admired etc, never had an issue, and then this bombshell...

So stick it out? Or throw up the arms?? Its all I can focus on right now and Im doing my best to be compassionate for her.


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## capri7204 (Aug 16, 2012)

Is there anything missing to this story? Was she fine b4 the boss killed himself. Sometimes all goes well on vacation and sometines not, it hapoebs to all of us. How was she before ypu sold your company? I need more info on her past behavior. It seems weird to all of a sudden act this way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

cs1225 said:


> Its all I can focus on right now and Im doing my best to be compassionate for her.


I agree with Capri. We need wayy more information on what is going on.

What does she say specifically when you discuss these things with her?


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

cs1225 said:


> Brand new to the site so bear with me and a quick background.
> 
> Married 5 years (2nd for both of us) together for almost 7. All the kids are almost out of the house and we are only 40. I had the fortunate experience of selling my company last year for early retirement.
> 
> ...


Stick it out long enough for her to get her bearings back (and you too). There's been a lot of changes and not much time to adjust to it. She's maybe searching for her purpose now the kids are grown and out, retirement is an option, moving to a new home, and additional tramatic things like a wreck just stack on top of it.

Come on cs1225, this much turmoil has to be affecting both of you. Maybe it's affecting you more than you realize as well.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

That is a lot of shyt to swallow in a short period.

I would be down to. Be there for her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

This scenario screams out for counseling. Has it been discussed? 

Read up on MLC too...

Best


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm actually a little appalled that you're wondering if you should "stick it out" when it's only been 45 days. Are you actually considering leaving your wife because she's been depressed and emotionally unsteady for a month and a half, after 7 years together? 

Does your wife have any reason to feel like you're maybe not really emotionally there for her?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Look up "Empty Nest Syndrome"

_Definition

Empty Nest Syndrome refers to feelings of depression, sadness, and/or grief experienced by parents and caregivers after children come of age and leave their childhood homes. This may occur when children go to college or get married. Women are more likely than men to be affected; often, when the nest is emptying, mothers are going through other significant life events as well, such as menopause or caring for elderly parents. Yet this doesn't mean that men are completely immune to Empty Nest Syndrome. Men can experience similar feelings of loss regarding the departure of their children._

https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/empty-nest-syndrome


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