# 40yo MWM with 3 kids from Florida, married 21 years, sex life issues



## desiresmore (Oct 15, 2013)

Hello everyone! I met my wife at 16, married at 18. We are both now 40 and have 3 kids ages 14, 16 and 19. Married 21 years and have always had sex life challenges. Started with our mutual ignorance due to strict religious upbringings. Then she had lots of pain during sex which I now assume was vaginsmus. After our 3 kids were born pain wasn’t a problem anymore. The whole time and even now it’s really lack of desire, inhibitions and no passion that are my main complaints. My wife’s friends all appear to have religious sexual suppression and their own mix of sexual issues too, lack of desire common among them. So it’s not like my wife even has anyone else as a role model for healthy strong sexuality. 

Otherwise, we have a nice life here in the sunshine state. I have a good job and we are all healthy. I’ve had this account for a few years but haven’t really engaged in the community yet. That will probably change now as I’m starting to skim through some of the conversations here. Looking forward to getting to know some of you!


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## Arkansas (Jan 30, 2020)

and when you openly discuss sex with your wife - what is said ?


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## desiresmore (Oct 15, 2013)

Sorry I didn’t mean to delve into so much detail in my intro. I really just wanted to say hello and provide others with insight into my life/relationship. Doing so can give context when interpreting what I’m saying in the forums.


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## Mofran (May 4, 2020)

desiresmore said:


> Hello everyone! I met my wife at 16, married at 18. We are both now 40 and have 3 kids ages 14, 16 and 19. Married 21 years and have always had sex life challenges. Started with our mutual ignorance due to strict religious upbringings. Then she had lots of pain during sex which I now assume was vaginsmus. After our 3 kids were born pain wasn’t a problem anymore. The whole time and even now it’s really lack of desire, inhibitions and no passion that are my main complaints. My wife’s friends all appear to have religious sexual suppression and their own mix of sexual issues too, lack of desire common among them. So it’s not like my wife even has anyone else as a role model for healthy strong sexuality.
> 
> Otherwise, we have a nice life here in the sunshine state. I have a good job and we are all healthy. I’ve had this account for a few years but haven’t really engaged in the community yet. That will probably change now as I’m starting to skim through some of the conversations here. Looking forward to getting to know some of you!


My husband and I had similar problems But were older now early 60s My kids are grown I had three also My daughter still lives with us She's had mental and health problem So for years no sex I went through menapause and had no desire Found out last year my husband was talking to a girl at work had some presents for her but never gave them Well that shocked me So I really tried to get the sex going again Exercise a bit more Got lingerie Used some hormone cream It helped I'm being brutally honest You prob tried the nice hotel the romance Doing more things for her around house It hard But give it a try Counseling ?I'm abt ready to do myself cause with this shut down I'm going crazy My husband acting up again! Good Luck your marry is worth it


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