# Photos on His Phone



## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

I will start off by saying he's a great guy and treats me well. But, I am not sure he is the right man for me. 

About this time last year, I saw photos of half-clothed exes in provocative poses on his phone while he was using the phone. We had a discussion and he said he understood why it was wrong and that was that. However, that (along w/ a few other things) has always stuck in my craw.

Jump to today and I DID snoop on his phone because on a certain level I don't trust him emotionally and as it relates to his voracious consumption of any naked woman image within range. What did I find? A pic he took of a half-dressed woman in a parade (who is his exact type) and a photo of a woman I believe to be a stripper (his type) he must have had contact with at a club when he attended a birthday party.

Needless to say, I am disgusted and my feelings are dying for him. In what universe am I supposed to be okay with this 'because they are just pictures,' 'it doesn't matter where he gets his appetite, as long as he is fed by you.' Um, what?! Who takes and keeps photos of random women?

I am ready to walk. I honestly don't believe he'd cheat on me and he did tell me they went to a strip club. I had to leave the celebration early and that's where they went afterward. He said he wished I could have stayed. For all the junk I've been through with him, I am gobsmacked he thinks I would go to a strip club with him.

Ladies (and gents) please advise. I feel like a fool and as if I'm reliving the same crap from last year. How should I handle this? I don't want to live the rest of my life distrusting him on some level and being a snoopy woman. I don't have time or inclination for that. Thoughtful answers appreciated.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

If you don't like HOW he is, which is WHO he is.... then walk. Period.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

You don't seem compatible with each other. There are some women who would not be offended by this kind of stuff. Lots of women would be into going to a strip club with their man. You're just not the right type of woman for him. By the same token there are lots of men out there who would never think of going to a strip club, nevermind taking their woman to one. So he's just not the right kind of guy for you. You're trying to put a square peg into a round hole.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Sorry to be blunt, but what is your sex life like?


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## honeysuckle rose (Jun 11, 2010)

We both travel a lot for work. When we are together we always have sex & he is satisfied. I do it with a smile on my face regardless of how I feel. I could have sex with him 3x a day and he would still view porn & keep pics of naked broads on his fone. Why is this my fault? Why should I accept what is disrespectful to me?



Toffer said:


> Sorry to be blunt, but what is your sex life like?


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

honeysuckle rose said:


> Why should I accept what is disrespectful to me?
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There's no "should" about it, it's completely your choice what to accept and not accept. But then it's equally his choice as to whether he accepts your conditions. 

I guess it comes down to whether you think this is a dealbreaker for your marriage or not, because the likelihood of changing his behavior is small.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Looking is one thing, actually taking the picture to keep.... that would bother me, it's almost like a token from something else.... Clearly it is an issue for you and you don't have to put up with it.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Are these pics these women posed for for him? If so, it would seem rather too personal for my comfort. I wouldn't like it, and I see no reason you shouldn't ask him why he does this. That's a step up from porn in my books. I would have a problem with my hubby being a porn photographer.

Or, is he taking them surreptitiously? That also is a step up from porn in my view, which just involves looking, not taking the pics. Almost stalking behaviour.

If, however, they're just pictures he's downloaded then yeah, I agree with the others who say decide if it's a dealbreaker.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

honeysuckle rose said:


> I will start off by saying he's a great guy and treats me well. But, I am not sure he is the right man for me.
> 
> About this time last year, I saw photos of half-clothed exes in provocative poses on his phone while he was using the phone. We had a discussion and he said he understood why it was wrong and that was that. However, that (along w/ a few other things) has always stuck in my craw.
> 
> ...


Those 4 words say it all...


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> If you don't like HOW he is, which is WHO he is.... then walk. Period.


I agree...BUT remember the past is the past, maybe he just needs to let go.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

A horn-dog is a horn-dog. Why not just face that this man is not compatible with your idea of husband material? If you find it disrespectful, then walk. Why would you stay? 

Dating is finding out if this person is the one for you. This person doesn't seem to be.


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## eowyn (Mar 22, 2012)

honeysuckle rose said:


> Jump to today and I DID snoop on his phone because on a certain level I don't trust him emotionally and as it relates to his voracious consumption of any naked woman image within range. What did I find? A pic he took of a *half-dressed woman in a parade (who is his exact type) and a photo of a woman I believe to be a stripper (his type)* he must have had contact with at a club when he attended a birthday party.


Why do you want to be with a man whose type is half dressed parade women and strippers??


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree with the others. He's not your type. So leave him.

What you see with this guy is what you get. So if you stay, you really have no room to complain.

It's not wise to date a guy and then expect to change him.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

I replied in the other thread about this same thing, but I will here again too. 

If you are planning on staying with this guy its time to demand some respect in your relationship. If he can't or wont give you that, then you need to rethink why you are staying with him. Life is to short to continue to be with people who, are not willing to try and change, selfish and shows lack of respect in their relationships, period.


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