# Advice needed for leaving a situation I'm stuck in



## Mattlovescats (Dec 28, 2012)

Hello,

I am after advice from people who have left a rotten marriage when trapped with little resources to leave.

Although I used to be employed fulltime on a very decent wage - a nervous breakdown partially caused by my bad marriage ruined my career. I am a fulltime student on a low income now. I am at the complete mercy of my Wife who has expressed the fact that she wants divorce also. She will not help me leave, it is up to me. I feel like I am robbed of my previous independence and my wife has vocal distain for me. Her parents are living with us now which doesn't help matters.

Anyways, has anyone left on low income successfully and regained independence? I would be really appreciative of any advice. 

I should mention at a last resort I do have a OK superannuation amount (enough for a rental bond and advance rent for a while) from previous work that would take me a few months to access under grounds of hardship. I can not rely on any sort of divorce settlement as it would take a couple of years to get quite difficulty legally.

Thanks in advance. I am feeling very futile and depressed at the moment about the situation.


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## Orange_Pekoe (Jan 5, 2015)

When I decided to leave my husband, I was unemployed. (Used to have a high-paying job, went on maternity leave, got laid off before I returned back to work due to restructuring.) I had been looking for a job for 8 months, unsuccessfully.

A week after I left him, I got a new job. I'm very happy in my new workplace and make more money than I did before.

I stayed with my parents for 6 months and then rented a condo where I live with my toddler now.

If you are able to survive on your low income for a couple of years (just in case it takes a long time to find a good job again), or live with your parents for a few months, I would do it. I was also very afraid to leave him when I did not have a sufficient source of income...but my life circumstances made me realize that I HAD to leave, not tomorrow or next week or next year...but then and there, I had to leave for my own sanity's sake. If your marriage is putting so much stress on you that you had a nervous breakdown at work, it's safe to say you need to put physical and emotional and psychological distance between yourself and your wife. Living there (especially with in laws) is a lot to take. Good luck. Don't be afraid, be smart.


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

Do you have relatives or friends you can stay with for a little while so you can look for a job and get back on your feet? I have had to do this before, it is very hard, but it can be done. I got a job and an apartment in less than a month, but that's all I did was find a job and nothing else. It's pretty messed up that she is controlling you like that because she knows she is the money maker in the household. If she refuses to help then it is time to just ask for a couch for a few weeks or so.


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