# Too much testosterone!



## Jennifer_DIN (Feb 5, 2012)

My other half is a very manly man - he's big and muscly, he lifts weights, he's hairy, he likes war films and taking about guns, all that jazz. It also means that when we have a row he gets really scary.

I mean, arguing is normal. I think a certain amount of arguing is healthy - it's not like we fight every night or anything, we just have the odd row like any couple.

But when we do I hate it as he's really scary. I mean he'd never hit me or anything but his manner and physical presence and loud, deep shouty voice that are all part and parcel of his big stature (exaggerated yet further by me being tiny - I am 5'1 and pretty petite) and he just can't possibly realise how horribly threatening it is. What's more any arguments we do have are just so physically unfair - if I wanted to storm off and he didn't want me to he could perfectly easily just pick me up and stop me going anywhere.

Suggesting anything like this to him would probably offend him so much it would CAUSE an argument and he'd accuse me of accusing him of non-existent violence that he is obviously not guilty of. It's just if his behaviour was in a scene in a film it would totally look like his character was about to hit his girlfriend. Just because he doesn't actually do that and I know he never would doesn't mean the overpowering shoutiness isn't horrible and scary.

I just wish there was a quick way to make him calm down during a fight with me and make him not be so physically imposing.

Any ideas / anyone had this issue?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i sound alot like your husband. i am conscious not to use my physical advantage when my wife and i argue, thats not fair. arguing between men and women should be a battle of wills and ideals, not physical confrontation. sometimes i can see my prideful wife bow up a bit and i think its cute, her southern scarlett ohara blood gets going and she begins to think she can whip my butt, even though i never threaten her. i am usually the one remaining calm and matter of fact.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Orrrrrr..... put on your big girl panties and don't be intimidated by someone who is loud and boisterous even when he isn't mad. If you can recognize that he isn't going to hurt you, doesn't intend to.... then what is there to be afraid of? A loud voice? If you love him, and you see this as one of his characteristics... then recognize it when he is mad too.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

It's never ok to scare someone with your size... i once dated with a man who used his size and power to scare me.

I used video to show him how scary he was, I videoed him during an arguement..without him knowing, bit naughty I know...but I did what needed to, to show him how he came across during times of aggro..

He was amazed at how nasty he came across...

Just my experience in this...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

This behavorial info is taken from a book I have on Testosterone.... called "The Alchemy of Love and Lust" ...


*As to Behavior, Testosterone *:

*Is activating
*Maintains separateness & promotes aggression
*Increases assertiveness and self -confidence
*Has been implicated as a cause of certain types of criminal behavior and domestic violence.
*Can trigger or contribute to psychotic behavior
*Rises in response to winning, social status, and pecking orders
*Is higher than usual in CAREER WOMAN 

*How we can Influence Testosterone :*

*Winning compititions/arguments/battles
*Sexual thoughts activities
*Diet containing Meat
*exercise

*Lowers Testosterone*

*Loosing competitions
*Vegetarianism 
*Progesterone


It went on to say some men, if very high may become overbearing & irritable & unattractive to the opposite sex. 


Luckily other hormones come into play to help us want the intimacy - such as *Dopamine *(Pleasure hormone) , *Oxytocin* (bonding -touching hormone), *PEA* -called the Molecule of love, PEA is the Romantic in us. *Estrogen* -men have this too & it increases as they age while test slowly descreases, *Vasopressin* -the tempering hormone - works closely with Testosterone to keep it from reaching extreme highs & getting too hot -they also call it the Monogamy hormone. 

I really believe that much of our Behaviors ARE influenced by the specific levels of hormones in our body at any given time. If any of these hormones are out of whack/lacking/too high, it can cause colossal problems -which can indeed affect our relationships. We may not act as we should, as nature intended.

I think SPORTS are a blessing to men to get their aggression out, or go running, or go punch a punching bag downstairs when they feel a rage coming on, does he have other outlets ?


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## mr.miketastic (Aug 5, 2010)

This is something I have been thinking about lately...So when a man gets angry and shows it, he is reviled for being too aggressive/overbearing/ETC... When a man is sad, he is then reviled for being too weak. On the other hand, when a man is silent, he is reviled for being uncommunicative/insensitive/ETC...

So does that mean it's all just some global sh!t-test/zer0-sum game?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

mr.miketastic said:


> This is something I have been thinking about lately...So when a man gets angry and shows it, he is reviled for being too aggressive/overbearing/ETC... When a man is sad, he is then reviled for being too weak. On the other hand, when a man is silent, he is reviled for being uncommunicative/insensitive/ETC...
> 
> So does that mean it's all just some global sh!t-test/zer0-sum game?


great question, ya wonder if you can ever get it right


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> great question, ya wonder if you can ever get it right


You will never get it right. The rules can change mid game.


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