# Adapting to a man's life question



## ray gault (Mar 14, 2010)

i would like a ladies opinion on a thought that has recently come to me. its really not for casual conversation , but requires some reflection. a woman is more than willing to help a man mold his life if she meets a man who needs her guidance. but what if she meets a man who has created a life for himself that she respects, would she be willing to give herself to this man and mold her life to his life ? i would really like a female opinion.


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## Momof3kids (Nov 24, 2009)

I believe that it is possible either way - but more than gender it is dependent upon personality. 

I don't think you can ever fundamentally change who someone is. Those who submit themselves without reservation (in my opinion only - based only on MY experience) to what others want often have issues later on in life with assertion and "what ifs." Individual identity is a key component of maturity. In addition, respect for that life and acceptance of that life for yourself are two different things.

I'm not really sure that I'm answering your question. Is it possible? Of course - anything's possible. Is it likely? It depends on the people involved. 

Can we ask what the background to this question is?


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## larniegrl (Oct 7, 2009)

It depends if you want a "fix it" marriage.

I, personally, fell in love with a man that needed completion in his life. It was not the best choice. Yet, I did not fall in love with that aspect of him. Before I knew all the issues/problems, I was head-over-heels and the rose-colored glasses were on.

I feel that marriages based on one person being incomplete and the other person attempting to "fix" them...are destined for chronic problems or failure. It is just not meant to be that way. I think that women fall in love with the ideals/personality projected by the man...and not necessarily who they truly are. 

However, when we do find out the gritty details we are not likely to jump ship before marriage. We feel as though love will conquer all, but this doesn't mean we bond with the man. We just stick it out, do our best and survive...hoping that he gets his **** together.


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