# Phone Call that made me feel great this morning



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

So my soon to be ex wife called this morning, I thought it was the kids calling to say hi so I answered. She gets on the phone crying, saying that when we started this whole process she thought we would still be friends, talk all the time. (I've been doing the 180). She said that she understands that I need my space (yeah right). She then said that she understands that I hate her (fishing for me to say I don't hate her). We were together for 11 years. She said she can't even imagine the pain I'm going through (I told her yeah, she can't imagine). I'm picking up the kids tonight after work to spend the night with me. She then asked if I could stop over before work this morning. I asked her why? She said she misses me. Yeah, I didn't stop over. She doesn't get that security, and comfort from me anymore. I told her she is a different person than the one I married, fell in love with, had kids with. I told her that I'm letting her go. It felt good that I was able to talk to her like this without getting too emotional. She is all over the bad. Asking me to stop over because she misses me, what is that about? 

This has given me a pick up to my day. I've been dealing with my own personal hell the last month. Maybe she is finally starting to realize what life will be like without me.


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## worrieddad (Nov 3, 2011)

You are a strong man...I salute you!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> . She is all over the bad. Asking me to stop over because she misses me, what is that about?


She's a wayward. That's what they do. 

It's normal for them. 

Good for you for standing your ground. Something I told my exH was "Please stop calling me unless it's re: the D. I understand you are hurt too but being that the D is your decision, one that I did not want, I can't hold your hand through this process. You need to find emotional support elsewhere."

It felt GOOD.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

@Jelly what do you mean by "wayward". Should I look too much into this? Does this mean she is having second thoughts about the divorce?


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## IfIwasYourVampire (Jan 5, 2012)

i wish i was at the same level were you are now, examples like yours give me hope, i know one day i will be at the same level and be STRONGER THAN ALL


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Wayward--a spouse that wants out and keeps you there throwing lil scraps of hope at you, example: "Can you come over please... i am sad."

No, you shouldn't look more into it. It is what it is--she has already told you she wants a divorce so as such, accept it.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

In your opinion have you seen these type of situations reverse back to the Wayward changing her mind on the divorce, realizing that what she thought she wanted is not what she wanted after all?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Very rarely. And the times that it does happen, it is when the left behind spouse doesn't put up with their sh!t and starts to move on and let's them know, in no uncertain terms "either you are in this marriage w/ me, or you're out... I will not wait around for you and I will not be strung along."

Also, if an affair is happening, your marraige has zero chance.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Wayward--a spouse that wants out and keeps you there throwing lil scraps of hope at you, example: "Can you come over please... i am sad."
> 
> No, you shouldn't look more into it. It is what it is--she has already told you she wants a divorce so as such, accept it.


Jelly, I have respectfully disagree with you in that if there is no infidelity involved, she's a walkaway, not a wayward. Wayward's are cheaters, liars, and manipulators. They are 2 totally different beasts.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I disagree, Mark. Infidelity doesn't have to be involved for someone to be a wayward. 
Waywards are the ones who sit on the fence, should they stay? Should they go? They string the left behind spouse along.

Walkaways are already done. They give zero chance of hope of wanting back in. When they are done, they don't play games of stringing people along.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

The woman that created the 180 stated that it can do wonders for walkaway wife syndrome. This is what seems to be the case in this situation. If it were not the case, why would she create the 180 and say this is how you can get them back? Not all walkaways are done thus the 180.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You can't get anyone back unless they want to be back with you.

No matter what 180 you do. it takes two. One person doing all the work is not a marriage. A one-sided relationship won't go far. If one person wants out, that's it. 

Idk what woman you are talking about but I don't agree with the terms, personally. We can agree to disagree.

The very definition of a wayward is someone who is unpredictable. They want in, they want out, they string people along.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Found it. Her name is Michelle Wiener-Davis. She has several small videos on YouTube.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

She is the same person who is against exposing affairs... so.. yeah.

I do think the 180 list is good, but don't believe it should ever be used to "get someone back." That's more for the individual to get a hold on their life again after being rejected.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i think there is 1 of 2 reasons she is calling you to stop by now.

#1. she is starting to miss you

#2. she is testing to see if she still has some control over you for her own satisfaction and nothing is really meant by it.
i think ive seen some of this myself lately.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

I think it would take more then one phone call to know what is really going on and what her intentions are. I would not read to much into it at the moment. (it only serves to drive you around in you head) 

Keep keeping on! You were able to keep your self together in the face of a moment that would weaken others.

Don't over think one phone call. She said I miss you as her reason for asking you to stop over. If nothing I think that it was selfish of her to ask you to make an extra trip to make her feel better. If she really missed you she could come to you. Just saying.........well now I am just going on so back to my point. You can not truely know ones intentions from one phone call.(unless the call is long and detailed) Stay strong don't wobble from one phone call.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Wife just called and asked me to stay for dinner tonight when I pick up the kids, I told her yes, only because she is making a dish I love and I don't know how to cook yet


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