# Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"



## joshuak3nt (Feb 5, 2011)

*Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"*

I am so glad i found this site. My situation has been going on since May of 2010. I found out then that my job was being eliminated. My wife didnt seem to worry at all. We have 1 son who is now 3 yrs old. Sometime in June she flew out to LA and on the way back she met a guy in her row. 

She told me about it that night when she arrived at the airport. The next day she tells me that he emailed her work but that she did not give him her email address. Then the next day she told me she gave him her cell number. Then i started seeing text messages going back and forth between him and her. I confronted her and she said that i am always so controlling and that she just wants a friend. She said i am the girl, girls have the vagina, we have the power. It doesnt matter if a guy wants me or not, because i have the control. You need to trust me. This thing went on for about 2 months, and we got into numerous arguments. She would lie about where she was going and then meet up with him and tell me after.

In August, i started a new job that gave us financial security so that she could quit her job and stay at home with our son. A few weeks after she quit her job, she told me that she was going to hang out with a coworker. It came out of nowhere. This coworker was the guy she said was so annoying at work, he looked gay because he drew in his eyebrows, was so lazy at work etc, etc. I got mad again and we argued. By this time her brother was living with us and he was shocked at what she was doing. He heard all of our arguments. I saw a few text messages on her phone, and she admitted to me that he was just being "chad". Not to worry, trust her. She went out with him on a tues night and didnt come home till 530am. Then later in the day she tells me that i should move out because we need space. I never knew what happened between them until later (20 days ago)... (she sent him a picture, he replied saying "you have to admit, you must be missing me a little bit, or at least parts of me"...she replied "" and he replied calling her a tease.

Then in October, a guy contacted her on Facebook and she was so excited. She said he was an old friend and a really nice guy. She also decided at this time that she was going to start school back in MN and leave me in IA and put our son with her dad in KS, due to the odd retail hours that i work and her not wanting to bring our son to MN with her. She began texting non stop with this old friend. I was never able to see any texts because she always deleted them...until one day i saw that she was discussing her wanting to get implants with him and telling him to win the lottery for her. She went up to MN to register for classes and i then she told me that he bought her a hotel room for her and her gf for the weekend. I was furious. She said he was just a nice guy....then i saw that she was texting him back and forth 2 nights in a row...all through the night. He works a night job...

Fast forward to today...i installed a program into her phone that allowed me to see her actual text messages...and on the day before she left for MN, she told him about her sexual dream she had about him. The sexted back and forth till i came home from work. I didnt say anything to her. By this time i was seeing a counselor because she said i have anger issues and trust issues. His recomendation was to not mention anything.

Here we are now 35 days into her being up there in MN. She now has my son up there...and she just had an all day sexting with the guy back on Wed. It was bad...really bad. The only way i can describe it is that if porno movies were just words...thats what they texted. Additionally, she had her mom and sister watch our son so that she could go to a "movie". What really happened was that she went to a movie before class with the tattoo guy, then during and after class she went out with the FB guy that she had sexted with all day.

Here are the additional details...she started texting the ex coworker again and also another old friend in mn (tattoo guy). ALso she is now texting the maintenance supervisor at her new job. She currently has 4 guys chasing after her. 1 who is asking for sex on a daily basis. Yet she talks to me as if i am the one who is not making her fall in love with her. She says that she wants me to lavish her with love so that she will fall in love with me again.

I am so glad i found this website. I have been killing myself internally since December...not wanting to confront her because i was scared she would run further away and keep my son from me. After seeing this board, i have created a no contact letter, and am now ready to confront her. Her brother has been wanting me to confront her for a long time. Her mom and sister think that i beat her and am a bad dad, because thats what she told them was the reason for her moving to MN to get away from me. I originally thought she was an attention wh0re..but now that i can see the messages she writes...its much worse. She is inviting them to do this with her. She is asking for it.

*ALl this time i figured i would just sit and wait for her to end it...but she isnt. Now i am ready. However, should i talk to her family first??? Or should i confront her with her family present?*


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

*Re: Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"*

Go public with her affairs, get your son, ditch her and move on.


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## Workingitout (Sep 27, 2010)

*Re: Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"*

Sounds like she is very immature. She could also have a mental condition or a love/sex addiction. Regrettably, it doesn't look good. I would begin the divorse process and protect yourself.


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## joshuak3nt (Feb 5, 2011)

*Re: Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"*



Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Is there any possibility she has a drug habit?
> Or is developing a mental illness?
> If she didn't have your permission to take your child across state lines that is kidnapping. It doesn't matter that she told you, she gave your kid to a third party to live with them. If you can't go there to get him back and he won't be returned even if you ask, then that is pretty much what it is - kidnapping. Lawyers cost money but you might be able to file a police report about it and get the state involved depending, she can be ordered to return the child to you and also ordered to pay YOU support. At the very least cover yourself on this because the next thing you know, she might hit you up for support. As for your marriage, I don't know. I'd be more concerned at this point with your child, and in the process of getting that taken care of, more details about her behavior will be revealed, or she will be forced to deal with the legal, financial and other consequences of her behavior, which is the best you can hope for. It doesn't sound like she is going to call you up and say "Haha, April Fool's a bit early." At the very least, file for legal separation so if she runs up bills or gets into legal issues, you can remove yourself from suffering the consequences of her actions. What she's doing is kind of beyond the realm of what you might be responsible for in a marriage, in terms of helping a spouse resolve issues...I think the best way you can help is keeping yourself high and dry and in a position to have a stable life regardless of her behavior.


She does not take drugs. She might have an addiction. I have been so torn up for so long regarding this. I have read the 7 steps to ending an affair. I pretty much to step 4...because the only thing i havent done is confront her...I have already written a consequence letter and am ready to give it to her.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

*Re: Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"*

This a pro marriage site, but I have to say that with the way things are going I would file for divorce. 
1.You are young
2.she moved away
3.she has a different agenda.

Go see a lawyer draw up the papers and have her served. After that you can then discuss the marraige. I saw this b/c any confrontation will be uselss. My point making a statement that will speak loader then words.

After she is served, every one will be like WTF and then you can expose her behavior in why you have filled. 

With the act of being sereved papers along with the exposure of the affair she may want to change, and work on the marraige. 

In my opinion, this kind of set up is the best way in getting her to understand the consequences of her action.

Face it when she gets served her 1st questions is going to be why...Right....so do you see what I mean?

So when every one starts asking why you are divorcing you wife you can then send them copies of her texts and emails. 

Either way this will pull her out of her fog are push her away and in my opinion either one of these out come will be best for you.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

*Re: Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"*

the guy is right.

Your wife lied and told family you are an abuser.

You hit her with Divorce papers. I am pro marriage but when a woman leaves the marriage, leaves the home and takes your child with her just what consequences would bring her back???

She is playing with 4 OM.

Have her served and send a brief letter to family why you filed for D.

Expose her as the EA specialist she is and teach her a very valuable lesson about love and respect.

Keep the evidence to yourself for now.

Be strong.

HM


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## DayOne (Sep 19, 2014)

*Re: Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"*

Zombie thread!


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

*Re: Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"*

Yep. By now she's probably screwed dozens of guys.


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## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

*Re: Married little over 1 year- wife is sexting and has moved out to go to "college"*

I went through exactly what you are, but my ex-wife is 44, and she did this right after break up, which leads me to believe it was going on before the separation. But the modus operandi is the same...texting multiple guys, using lingo like it was the smuttiest porn out there, etc.

Except my wife followed through and actually f***ed these guys...but it seemed she was addicted to sex, and she WENT NUTS! screwing everyone...even the maintenance guy at her workplace, who's married!

Analyze this closely, my friend. This did a lot of damage to me, and we were broken up at the time...just be cautious!


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