# What is Going Dark?



## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

I've seen the trem "go dark" used before. I think I know what it means, but can someone put into words and give me some examples of it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Going dark means that you totally remove yourself from the life of a cheating spouse so they can no longer get any needs met from you. They are forced to have all their needs met by the OM/OW. Its a way to get reality to really set in. But its also an opportunity for the betrayed spouse to heal. 

It means no contact whatsoever - text, email, phone, smoke signal, nothing. You communicate through an intermediary if there are kids involved or if there are any other particulars that need worked out or discussed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I think it is different than going NC, the difference is that going dark means you don't go out of your way to cut them off, you just simply don't shine your light their way, don't turn your gaze on them and pay them no attention.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Going dark = no contcact. If you see them, you can be cordial but nothing further than that (except for co-parenting and absolute must coomunication...like divorce elgalities, etc). Lon's got a prett good way of describing it but I think its that mixed with No contact.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

