# DC here we come.



## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

I have been in contact with a psychiatrist in DC and my wife will be going there immediately after the holidays, first to a women's shelter, then after she is no longer considered suicidal, as an out-patient. I will be moving to Georgetown, next week, and will finalize the arrangements . I feel pretty good about it, and am relieved that I will no longer have to deal with her toxic family (at least not closely) and can do what I must do to heal her . Oh well........One step at a time.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

nice subway system


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Good luck! Take care of yourself and your wife!


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

How's your wife doing?

Good luck to you


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

working_together said:


> How's your wife doing?
> 
> Good luck to you


Much better, but still loaded with guilt, and self-loathing. This new psychiatrist is very good about building self-esteem and handling childhood issues that lead to self-esteem problems. I'm hoping he can get to the bottom of things. We had a long talk on the trip up , and my wife asked for a divorce. I asked her if it was what she really wanted, and she said no, but that it was unfair for me to be saddled with a skank and a nutjob. See what I mean?:scratchhead:


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I'm on the road to getting my Toxic family out of my life too. My husband is supporting me on this and will not leave me alone with them. Theres much child hood memories that I repressed as well and that I didn't know I was still allowing thier control even in my adulthood until I was seperated from my Husband. 

Good luck with helping you wife heal


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

blueskies30 said:


> I'm on the road to getting my Toxic family out of my life too. My husband is supporting me on this and will not leave me alone with them. Theres much child hood memories that I repressed as well and that I didn't know I was still allowing thier control even in my adulthood until I was seperated from my Husband.
> 
> Good luck with helping you wife heal


Thanks, blueskies, this seems to be a lot of her problem too.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

No concealed carry in DC.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Doesn't matter, LMH, I will still keep my **** with me.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Badblood said:


> Doesn't matter, LMH, I will still keep my **** with me.


Stay safe!


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Good luck Bad.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> No concealed carry in DC.


I'm glad to be Canadian.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Badblood said:


> Much better, but still loaded with guilt, and self-loathing. This new psychiatrist is very good about building self-esteem and handling childhood issues that lead to self-esteem problems. I'm hoping he can get to the bottom of things. We had a long talk on the trip up , and my wife asked for a divorce. I asked her if it was what she really wanted, and she said no, but that it was unfair for me to be saddled with a skank and a nutjob. See what I mean?:scratchhead:


Well, it'll be a while before she gets herself on tract, but with your support I'm sure she'll get there. It's tough because your probably still angry that she had an affair, but because she's ill you probably don't want her to feel worse than she already does about herself.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

working_together said:


> Well, it'll be a while before she gets herself on tract, but with your support I'm sure she'll get there. It's tough because your probably still angry that she had an affair, but because she's ill you probably don't want her to feel worse than she already does about herself.


Yes Working, I was just deciding what I wanted, when she tried to off herself. Now, I can't even begin to deal with the affair , until she is better. She will begin intensive therapy after the first of the year, so I should know more about my options when the Psychiatrist has a good handle on her mental state.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Badblood said:


> Much better, but still loaded with guilt, and self-loathing. This new psychiatrist is very good about building self-esteem and handling childhood issues that lead to self-esteem problems. I'm hoping he can get to the bottom of things. We had a long talk on the trip up , and my wife asked for a divorce. I asked her if it was what she really wanted, and she said no, but that it was unfair for me to be saddled with a skank and a nutjob. See what I mean?:scratchhead:


Do you think it is highly unlikely she'll file for divorce anyway?


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

morituri said:


> Do you think it is highly unlikely she'll file for divorce anyway?


No, MOri, she will NEVER file for divorce, because she says that she loves only me, and doesn't want anyone else. But , she did say that she would understand if I decided to divorce her, as she was such a lowlife s**t (her words).


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

I met my wife's new shrink yesterday, and damn if she isn't one seriously hot white woman.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Be cautious BB.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Best of luck to you and your wife.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Badblood said:


> I met my wife's new shrink yesterday, and damn if she isn't one seriously hot white woman.


Sheesh, here we go again :lol:


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I think the lack of sex is starting to affect him 

@Working That cat is scary as hell..


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Better that he have sex with his wife than for him to yield to temptation - especially since he's such a stud that the ladies throw themselves at this feet.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> I think the lack of sex is starting to affect him
> 
> @Working That cat is scary as hell..


Yeah, kind of put it up for shock value....


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

morituri said:


> Better that he have sex with his wife than for him to yield to temptation - especially since he's such a stud that the ladies throw themselves at this feet.


:lol: I better stay out of his way, I'm one damn hot white woman..

and my cat is too


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

:rofl: Too soon working, too soon


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> :rofl: Too soon working, too soon


Call me a dumb blond...I don't get it???

never mind, just got it lol


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Now I finally get your pic.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_en3tE7aKwk8/SnHt2uKCn6I/AAAAAAAAAwA/V89wcq-hHTk/s400/scary+cat.jpg

I was thinking the red on the face was blood


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> Now I finally get your pic.
> 
> http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_en3tE7aKwk8/SnHt2uKCn6I/AAAAAAAAAwA/V89wcq-hHTk/s400/scary+cat.jpg
> 
> I was thinking the red on the face was blood


lol, you found that pic on the net??? that's funny, I was trying to pass it off as mine...damn


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Badblood or *Big Jim Slade*?


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

morituri said:


> Badblood or *Big Jim Slade*?


OMG, that's too funny


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Twofaces said:


> Oh my gawd where do you find this stuff????
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's from the 1977 cult movie classic "*Kentucky Fried Movie (United Appeal For The Dead*". It's makers are the same people who made "*Airplane (Otto the autopilot)*" a year later. Funny sh!t.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

morituri said:


> It's from the 1977 cult movie classic "*Kentucky Fried Movie (United Appeal For The Dead*". It's makers are the same people who made "*Airplane (Otto the autopilot)*" a year later. Funny sh!t.


Working , you better keep your hot self AND your cat out of DC. Mori, I'm more like BLACK DYNAMITE than Big Jim Slade.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Seriously folks, this is just what the doctor ordered for me. I definitely need to laugh more often. THANKS!!!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Tis the season to be jolly with *Ben and Jerry's Schweddy Balls*


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## Whip Morgan (May 26, 2011)

Black Dynamite, now that movie is awesome.Glad to hear you can laugh a little, BB.

I threw that sh*t before I walked in the ROOM!


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Whip Morgan said:


> Black Dynamite, now that movie is awesome.Glad to hear you can laugh a little, BB.
> 
> I threw that sh*t before I walked in the ROOM!


Dude, it is one of the funniest movies, ever, and doesn't get the respect it deserves. When he talked about the little chinese boy, I nearly threw up, I laughed so hard.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Also, not forgetting the Lovely Salli Richardson-Whitfield.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Little girl #1: My momma said my daddy's name is Black Dynamite.

Little girl #2: So did my momma.

Black Dynamite: Ahhh hush up little girls. A lot of cats have that name.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

When did this movie come out? I think I might be too young to know it.....:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

2009 Pidge.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

morituri said:


> 2009 Pidge.


 My blonde is showing....lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Black Dynamite: "Donuts don't wear alligator shoes"


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

First Lady, I'm sorry I pimp-slapped you into China cabinet.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Well, the holidays went as well as Possible, given the situation. I took her to her families Christmas, but didn't stay, then we had my families Christmas which was much better and more relaxed. We talked a lot over the holidays, she mostly about how good it will be when she is better, but I didn't say too much about the future. Honestly, I've all but decided to go ahead with the Divorce, but won't mention it to her until the doctor says she is strong enough to deal with it. Bottom line, while I believe that she is truly remorseful, and would make every effort to R, my trust in her is gone, and my love for her has changed from that of a husband to that of a concerned friend.


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

If issues that led to her affair are fixed, do you still believe that trust could not be rebuilt? The person she becomes would not be the same as the person she was.


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## johniori1 (Dec 28, 2011)

Good luck! Take care of yourself and your wife!


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Badblood said:


> Well, the holidays went as well as Possible, given the situation. I took her to her families Christmas, but didn't stay, then we had my families Christmas which was much better and more relaxed. We talked a lot over the holidays, she mostly about how good it will be when she is better, but I didn't say too much about the future. Honestly, I've all but decided to go ahead with the Divorce, but won't mention it to her until the doctor says she is strong enough to deal with it. Bottom line, while I believe that she is truly remorseful, and would make every effort to R, my trust in her is gone, and my love for her has changed from that of a husband to that of a concerned friend.


The choice is always yours.

She saw her family during holidays????


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Badblood, Don't make any final decisions now. You are seesawing between extremes. You are going through the emotional roller coaster now. You need not convince anyone. Take a decision that you are comfortable with. Take your time and take a decision you won't regret.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

dymo said:


> If issues that led to her affair are fixed, do you still believe that trust could not be rebuilt? The person she becomes would not be the same as the person she was.


Dymo, the problem with this is, that even if she changes and becomes a better person, I remain the same guy, with the same bitter memories of a cheating wife.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

working_together said:


> The choice is always yours.
> 
> She saw her family during holidays????


Yeah ,Working. Sucks don't it. But her Mom insisted and she said OK so I took her there for about 2 hours then went and got her and took her to my parents.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Maybe a short visit wouldn't be so harmful, I don't really know how toxic her family is, but I get that x-mas is a time to celebrate with family.


I really feel for you, it seems like you are in limbo...sort of. You seem to know what you want, but you feel yourself being pulled back...ya know? I think my husband feels the same way sometimes, sometimes he's ok with me, and sees the old me, but then has flashbacks of what I did, and has trouble coming to terms with that. Hard stuff.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

working_together said:


> Maybe a short visit wouldn't be so harmful, I don't really know how toxic her family is, but I get that x-mas is a time to celebrate with family.
> 
> 
> I really feel for you, it seems like you are in limbo...sort of. You seem to know what you want, but you feel yourself being pulled back...ya know? I think my husband feels the same way sometimes, sometimes he's ok with me, and sees the old me, but then has flashbacks of what I did, and has trouble coming to terms with that. Hard stuff.


I am in limbo, Working, but not in the way you think. I have pretty much decided on divorce, but I don't want to mention it to her, in her condition. God knows, I don't want another suicide attempt, or anything to interupt her recovery. So , for a while I will have to suck it up and do what is best for her well-being. I know, I know, that people will say that sometimes marriages recover and are stronger than before, and maybe she will come out of therapy a better, wiser , more loving woman, but that doesn't help my issues. I honestly don't view her as my wife anymore, except legally, and believe me, I've tried.


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

Badblood said:


> but that doesn't help my issues.


After the shock of walking in you your wife and OM, you may want to consider getting IC yourself. Otherwise, even if you don't stay with your wife, these issues can work their way into your future relationships.


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Thanks Dymo, but I've come to terms with it already. I know that it was her issues that lead to the affair, and not something I did or didn't do. I would never make another woman pay for what this one did, at least I'm too mature to do that.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I am certain your resolve not to have it effect future relationships is sincere. But the trauma you have endured along with your wife may need the help of a 3rd party to resolve. 

At any rate keep it in mind and if you find that you need to sort thing out, do it in a timely fashion so that you don't destroy a budding relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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