# Do you take your spouse’s opinion into consideration when it comes to your appearance?



## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

How much do you take your spouse’s opinion into consideration when it comes to your appearance?

For example:

Ladies, would you throw on a jacket over a low-cut top if your husband thought it was too revealing? What if you wanted cosmetic surgery but he said no?

Men, would you change your shirt if your wife didn’t like it? What if she wanted you to shave your beard?

The tattoo thread got me thinking about the above.

Editing Post: 
Thanks for your opinions on the hairstyles! I'm removing that part of this post, as well as the pic, as I have decided I'm not going to change my hair. 

I figure I'll save everyone from reading that part of this post since it's no longer a question I have and it would've pointlessly made this post lengthy to read. 

I've also removed the extra wording that went along with my hairstyle question in the thread title so the title now only states the discussion question.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

My wife would absolutely throw on a jacket, she normally asks me if something is too revealing before I even see her. But if I even hinted at it…she would change or cover up. It’s happened. 

I would change anything she didn’t like about me, she’s the only one I care about pleasing. As far as clothes selections, I trust her taste more than my own.

I am mr. authenticity so I vote left pic just on that alone. But regardless of the natural bit, left pic is better. I look at the right pic I think….’complicated’. I look at the left pic, I think ‘real‘

Edit: the wig question. No, it wouldn’t bother me. I would prefer her natural state, but if she wanted to wear a wig or change her appearance I would very likely support her in that. Except no tattoos.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

so_sweet said:


> Ladies, would you throw on a jacket over a low-cut top if your husband thought it was too revealing? What if you wanted cosmetic surgery but he said no?


My wife generally doesn't wear low-cut clothing, however if she was and I commented on it she would absolutely cover up. She has talked about getting breast implants but I'm firmly against that, so I highly doubt she would ever do it. She doesn't want them for herself anyway.



> Men, would you change your shirt if your wife didn’t like it? What if she wanted you to shave your beard?


My wife absolutely hates when I shave and when I have short hair. She flat out tells me not to do it and that she thinks it's ugly, so there are no secrets to how she feels about it. I'd rather not look like a hobo and I prefer having short hair though because it's more manageable. I have very thick hair that is wavy/curly (when long) and only looks good long when cared for properly. So sometimes it's chin-shoulder length for her, and sometimes she begrudgingly compromises with "short on the sides and long on top". Lucky for her my hair grows extremely quickly (like at least an inch a month, it's ridiculous) and I'm lazy.

Most clothing that my wife doesn't like mysteriously goes missing...


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> My wife would absolutely throw on a jacket, she normally asks me if something is too revealing before I even see her. But if I even hinted at it…she would change or cover up. It’s happened.
> 
> I would change anything she didn’t like about me, she’s the only one I care about pleasing. As far as clothes selections, I trust her taste more than my own.
> 
> ...


You sound like a wonderful husband. 

Thanks for your honest thoughts about the hair and the wig!

The more I look at the pic today of me with the lighter curly hair (the wig), the more I think I don't really like it.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

QUOTE="so_sweet, post: 20507507, member: 354564"]How much do you take your spouse’s opinion into consideration when it comes to your appearance?

View attachment 85271
[/QUOTE]

I take into consideration but it’s ultimately my decision. 

QUOTE="so_sweet, post: 20507507, member: 354564"]
For example:

Ladies, would you throw on a jacket over a low-cut top if your husband thought it was too revealing? What if you wanted cosmetic surgery but he said no?




View attachment 85271
[/QUOTE]

No, I wouldn’t if I felt comfortable. He doesn’t have to look lol. 

I’m planning on getting my boobs done after I’m done having kids/breastfeeding and it’s not up for discussions. 


I like both looks. You should try it if you want. It’s not a drastic change. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

bobert said:


> Most clothing that my wife doesn't like mysteriously goes missing...


Please say thank-you to your wife for me for the great idea! 

My husband's friend gave him a t-shirt the other day. It's says "Glory Hole" and underneath it says "Donut Shop". I must be super dumb because I didn't know what that meant until my husband explained it to me. 😳 Yep, that one's mysteriously going missing! LOL.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

With my wife I go with whatever she feels best in I can tell by her body language. So with you I think they both look good and would say the same, what ever you feel best with. I say stick with the wig for a bit see how you feel, let your husband get use to the look then decide.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I don't like the new hair at all. But if you want a crimped hair look, you could just get a hot iron crimper and do it and it'll fall out in 2 days and then nobody will have to live with anything they don't like for long. Don't do anything permanent that looks like that. 

I have yet to hear a man complain about clothing that is too revealing but then I haven't had a husband. I would certainly take their opinion into consideration. I mean if not theirs then whose do you value? Certainly anything you wear to work should never be revealing at all. 


Some of it would depend on how considerate he was in that regard and whether he took your opinion about his appearance seriously and complied with requests. If he didn't pay any attention to your preferences then I would be far less inclined to pay any attention to his. 

For example I don't know any guys who want to be told what to do with their hair or beards and I think beards are disgusting and I'm not at all attracted to them but some women are. But yeah I'd be pretty pissed if I had a husband and then he grew a beard and didn't care whether I liked it or not. And that would be the end of kissing as we knew it.

I think in general when it comes to revealing clothing, that you should pay attention to just about everyone except your mother or father because there are some things only the very young and single can get away with.

I used to wear some real crazy wigs when I was young but only for a short period of time and I never had any complaints from guys about it. But if you wear them very much, you will get hair loss just as you will with extensions.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

To an extent. I wouldn't do something I hated because she liked it. But I would wear something I was just ehh about if she loved it.

In the other extreme, it's a terrible malarial strategy to put no importance on your spouses attraction to you that is for sure. I look at it this way, if you made a deal with someone that they only would eat your cooking for the rest of their life, it's terribly unfair for you to serve them hotdogs every night. Now some nights you may be tired and serving hotdogs makes sense, but there better be some steak on the menu too.

Frankly that goes with everything. When someone pledges themself to you, you have a responsibility to earn it every day.

By the way if my wife got a tattoo knowing that I hated to be like her friend, that would be a very strong tell to me where her priorities were and would not be a good thing for my marriage. Seems like in the other thread the wife's priorities were good.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

I think it looks great the way it is. You might not like the way it turns out. My youngest sons GF changed her hair a week ago for the prom. It cost 180.00 to fix it back to the original color. Her senior prom is this weekend.

Beyond that, it is your hair, do what makes you happy.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

so_sweet said:


> How much do you take your spouse’s opinion into consideration when it comes to your appearance?
> 
> For example:
> 
> ...


I really like both hairstyles. Left is more of a fall/winter color..right seems fun and spring/summer style. 
When I met my H he condemned me for how I dressed..he condemned me for dying my hair, for wearing makeup and for even styling my hair. I was 21 at the time, never dressed revealing but enjoyed looking good and feeling good about myself I guess. He twisted it around by saying things like "why should u wear makeup if i prefer u without it..who are u trying to impress?" Same went with everything else..including how I kept my body. I was very lean and athletic when we met and he pushed me relentlessly to gain more and more weight so I would have curves. He would get pissed if I ate healthy or exercised. He did not care how I felt about myself..as far as he was concerned all that mattered was how he felt about me..Now that I am nearing 40..IDGF what he wants. If I want to change my hair..I am going to..if I want to go on a diet and workout..I am going to..and if I want to wear clothes that arent 2 sizes too big..I am sure as hell going to..if he doesn't like it oh well..dont let the door hit u on the way out. Now my situation is a great example of a narcissistic asshole controlling and manipulating someone..not everyone is like that. And while I do think your husband's opinion matters..your opinion of yourself matters more. If a husband is going to leave or cheat or stop loving his wife over a hair color or style or any other petty crap like that..then I think its safe to say their love doesn't run too deep. You look beautiful with either hair..do what makes you feel good about yourself...and more than likely it will grow on him.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

i would like to point out that this thread can be turned around too: what if a woman usually wears dumpy and plain clothes, and your husband points that out and encourages you to wear something sexy? Buy some sexy clothes?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mr D finds modestly attractive in a woman and I wouldn't wear something he didn't like anyway. I hate wearing anything on my head so no wigs ever. He is very laid back generally so isn't bothered about hair colour/length etc. 
I would always take his feelings into account.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I don't like the new hair at all. But if you want a crimped hair look, you could just get a hot iron crimper and do it and it'll fall out in 2 days and then nobody will have to live with anything they don't like for long. Don't do anything permanent that looks like that.
> 
> I have yet to hear a man complain about clothing that is too revealing but then I haven't had a husband. I would certainly take their opinion into consideration. I mean if not theirs then whose do you value? Certainly anything you wear to work should never be revealing at all.
> 
> ...


I was ehh about keeping the new beard, in serious beard fashion as in full but well trimmed but after the W said she wanted me to keep it, well ok. No sweat.
Keeping a healthy and well groomed beard takes a bit of effort. But she's worth it naturally.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> I really like both hairstyles. Left is more of a fall/winter color..right seems fun and spring/summer style.
> When I met my H he condemned me for how I dressed..he condemned me for dying my hair, for wearing makeup and for even styling my hair. I was 21 at the time, never dressed revealing but enjoyed looking good and feeling good about myself I guess. He twisted it around by saying things like "why should u wear makeup if i prefer u without it..who are u trying to impress?" Same went with everything else..including how I kept my body. I was very lean and athletic when we met and he pushed me relentlessly to gain more and more weight so I would have curves. He would get pissed if I ate healthy or exercised. He did not care how I felt about myself..as far as he was concerned all that mattered was how he felt about me..Now that I am nearing 40..IDGF what he wants. If I want to change my hair..I am going to..if I want to go on a diet and workout..I am going to..and if I want to wear clothes that arent 2 sizes too big..I am sure as hell going to..if he doesn't like it oh well..dont let the door hit u on the way out. Now my situation is a great example of a narcissistic asshole controlling and manipulating someone..not everyone is like that. And while I do think your husband's opinion matters..your opinion of yourself matters more. If a husband is going to leave or cheat or stop loving his wife over a hair color or style or any other petty crap like that..then I think its safe to say their love doesn't run too deep. You look beautiful with either hair..do what makes you feel good about yourself...and more than likely it will grow on him.


But how does he feel when you show him the new sexy panties, bras, and undergarments? That should be a ok with him. Most guys like to know his women dresses hotly for him to think about during a date or outing.

My W would point out all the sexy things covering her nibly bits, as we dressed for a night at the clubs and that was outstanding for both of us.

Sometimes she'd come back from the ladies room and give be her thong to hold while she readied it to go into her clutch.

The thing I later realized is she always handed the lacy thong when our waitress could see what's happening and observe the sexual but clean low voice talking as this was happening.

Later she said well, she wanted the waitress aware she was going to have great sex later with me, and wanted to flaunt it. I went along because damn how much better can this get for me.
The second exhibition things she'd do is get me to finger her low key but where a waitress can see clearly. Her game is if the waitress continues to watch, and is low key doing so, W will want to and will get a fingering orgasm as we sit in a dim setting.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I was ehh about keeping the new beard, in serious beard fashion as in full but well trimmed but after the W said she wanted me to keep it, well ok. No sweat.
> Keeping a healthy and well groomed beard takes a bit of effort. But she's worth it naturally.


I guess with all the tools now, it's not that hard to maintain. 

I know most guys think the key for whether women like them is whether it's trimmed and maintained, and I'm sure that's true for those who like them to begin with, but it cuts no ice with me. I just like to see a person's face, and that is the whole of it. I don't like having their facial expressions concealed at all. My old flame grew one later in life and he had the most handsome face when young, and you couldn't even tell he was ever good looking anymore, even though his body was amazingly intact. But you know, he started off in the cool hippie type crowd and ended up a dean and seems like beards are a real thing in academia. No idea why.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Talker67 said:


> i would like to point out that this thread can be turned around too: what if a woman usually wears dumpy and plain clothes, and your husband points that out and encourages you to wear something sexy? Buy some sexy clothes?


I didn't think of that! 

Well, if my husband said that to me, I think I would likely buy some nicer clothes, but I love fashion, so I can't really say for sure how I would react if I usually dressed in "plain and dumpy" clothes.

As a couple we experienced some bumps in the road in regards to this until my husband realized I'm dressing the way I do because I'm into fashion and I feel dressing nice is a self-respect thing for me. 

For example, my husband once said to me "Where are YOU going?" when I was going to the store and wearing jeans and heels. I almost always wear heels. I'm a bit over 5'5" and I like the boost heels give me. My everyday heels are nothing outrageous, maybe about 3" max in height. 

Another time when we had to go out to run some errands, I said give me a few minutes to get dressed. He replied for me to just go how I was. I was wearing ugly sweats (not cute ones!) and I said I couldn't go out like that. 

He replied, "Yes, I know, the paparazzi are waiting outside for you!" --Thinking back about him saying this makes me laugh, but at the time, it really irked me!! 

That paparazzi line became a bit of a regular thing for him to say to me and it peeved me off every time! I explained to him that I feel dressing nice is for my own self-respect and simply because I love fashion.

He hasn't complained about the way I dress, if I take awhile to do my make-up...etc. in years.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I guess with all the tools now, it's not that hard to maintain.
> 
> I know most guys think the key for whether women like them is whether it's trimmed and maintained, and I'm sure that's true for those who like them to begin with, but it cuts no ice with me. I just like to see a person's face, and that is the whole of it. I don't like having their facial expressions concealed at all. My old flame grew one later in life and he had the most handsome face when young, and you couldn't even tell he was ever good looking anymore, even though his body was amazingly intact. But you know, he started off in the cool hippie type crowd and ended up a dean and seems like beards are a real thing in academia. No idea why.


The maintenance takes some time, what with specialty shampoo and skin care so one doesn't flake all over plus cutting and trimming takes time, all this adds to shower time. I have to admit it looks good. Of the longer variety. 
Fortunately it's all a clean white, not gray, or uneven grays.


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## The Narcissist's Wife (10 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> But how does he feel when you show him the new sexy panties, bras, and undergarments? That should be a ok with him. Most guys like to know his women dresses hotly for him to think about during a date or outing.
> 
> My W would point out all the sexy things covering her nibly bits, as we dressed for a night at the clubs and that was outstanding for both of us.
> 
> ...


Well..like many Husbands he loves lingerie. And most women love to wear it....with confidence. The problem is..if you force your wife to look like a homeless person and be unhealthy to satisfy your personal insecurities, she begins to feel insecure and less confident in herself. A wife is less likely to wear lingerie if she doesn't feel good about herself..H could tell me all day long I look sexy...but if I dont think I do or feel like I do..then what he says doesn't really matter.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> Well..like many Husbands he loves lingerie. And most women love to wear it....with confidence. The problem is..if you force your wife to look like a homeless person and be unhealthy to satisfy your personal insecurities, she begins to feel insecure and less confident in herself. A wife is less likely to wear lingerie if she doesn't feel good about herself..H could tell me all day long I look sexy...but if I dont think I do or feel like I do..then what he says doesn't really matter.


Forcing anything isn't productive. That's for sure.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> The maintenance takes some time, what with specialty shampoo and skin care so one doesn't flake all over plus cutting and trimming takes time, all this adds to shower time. I have to admit it looks good. Of the longer variety.
> Fortunately it's all a clean white, not gray, or uneven grays.


Yes, a neat beard is just as much maintenance or more than what women spend on their hair.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

The Narcissist's Wife said:


> Well..like many Husbands he loves lingerie. And most women love to wear it....with confidence. The problem is..if you force your wife to look like a homeless person and be unhealthy to satisfy your personal insecurities, she begins to feel insecure and less confident in herself. A wife is less likely to wear lingerie if she doesn't feel good about herself..H could tell me all day long I look sexy...but if I dont think I do or feel like I do..then what he says doesn't really matter.


THIS. My husband does it too, he doesn't understand that my feelings about myself really have nothing to do with him or anything he says or does. Men are fixers, they want to fix it, their hearts are in the right place but it simply isn't possible.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

so_sweet said:


> How much do you take your spouse’s opinion into consideration when it comes to your appearance?
> 
> For example:
> 
> ...



Sure. 
I'd give it some merit and try and wear things that she especially likes from time to time. Showing off all of the intimate, private bits for the women? Giving all the guys out there a free show.....of a married woman?
That would have been nipped in the bud while dating. I'd have stopped going out with her years ago and never married her if she didn't get past dressing up like one of those exhibitionist, party girls. 

Tattoos? I hate em, I would never have gotten any. 
Deal breaker, I wouldn't have married a girl with tattoos. She has none. If she ever pulled a bait and switch and got one I'd leave her. I hate them that much.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I like wearing my birthday suit, but due to my wife's critical opinion of it, I have to wear what she lays out for me.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

My wife often try’s to get out the front door in her white thin low cut ultra short micro mini body sock dress with no bra or underwear and I always get sick and tired of telling her to put some shoes on.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> My wife often try’s to get out the front door in her white thin low cut ultra short micro mini body sock dress with no bra or underwear and I always get sick and tired of telling her to put some shoes on.


Pics or it never happened. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Numb26 said:


> Pics or it never happened. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> View attachment 85310


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

I hate when she ask me to rub her feet 🤢


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> I hate when she ask me to rub her feet 🤢


I bet!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Mr.Married said:


> View attachment 85310


I think I just had my "that's enough internet for today" moment


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

hinterdir said:


> Sure.
> I'd give it some merit and try and wear things that she especially likes from time to time. Showing off all of the intimate, private bits for the women? Giving all the guys out there a free show.....of a married woman?
> That would have been nipped in the bud while dating. I'd have stopped going out with her years ago and never married her if she didn't get past dressing up like one of those exhibitionist, party girls.
> 
> ...


Ahh well, different strokes. I enjoyed my pre M dates being dressed skimpily, and even when dating the W same when going dancing or to clubs. Thongs were expected.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Honestly on date night I prefer Mrs. Married looking hot and a little low cut. Who doesn’t like a little confidence? ❤‍🔥👅🍑


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Why would a husband care if his wife's outfit was too revealing? Wouldn't he be happy?


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

I like both your hair options. The new look is cheeky and perky.

My wife dresses me. I'm not really into being on top of shopping for clothes. But everything I do appearance wise is for her from the haircut to what I wear. Except the suspenders. Those are for my comfort and she has never remarked.










Just kidding. That is the man she married. Young me. More recently:










I don't in any way tell her how to dress or such, but I might go there. She has been a free spirit in styles but with her current physical issues is less dressed up. I may need to comment to get her interested in herself again.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Julie's Husband said:


> I like both your hair options. The new look is cheeky and perky.
> 
> My wife dresses me. I'm not really into being on top of shopping for clothes. But everything I do appearance wise is for her from the haircut to what I wear. Except the suspenders. Those are for my comfort and she has never remarked.
> 
> ...


The BeeJees were awesome!! Staying Alive !!!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

thunderchad said:


> Why would a husband care if his wife's outfit was too revealing? Wouldn't he be happy?


They get paranoid it's for getting other male attention.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

x


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

so_sweet said:


> What if she wanted you to shave your beard?


Generally I would change to what my wife wants. If she was really wanting me to get rid of my facial hair I probably would, but I wouldn’t be really happy about it unless she was screwing the snot out of me every day.

Clothes and shoes are no problem. If she said, “Those clothes suck, wear something better.” and then picked it like my mom would when I was a little kid I would think it was weird but I would go along with it without complaining. If she really doesn’t like my clothes or shoes she will announce she is throwing them out.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> They get paranoid it's for getting other male attention.


I like when other men look at my wife because I'm the one who gets to take her home.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

thunderchad said:


> I like when other men look at my wife because I'm the one who gets to take her home.


I figure it like this. When I encounter a woman in the wild my brain goes:

A) I’d hit it
B) No
C) A bag of walnuts

and then it sorts into one of those. So if I am like “A!!!” then I expect this happens all the time from all kinds of men on the street. I’d always want my answer for my wife to be A.

With that said, there are appropriate clothes for me (husband) versus the public at large. Even with appropriate clothes though you can be “A!!!!!!”

This happened to me a couple months ago when I went to Starbucks. There was a lady in the parking lot wearing black jeans. There is nothing wrong with her clothes, she was dressed nice actually. But my brain was like, “A+!!!” I was like holy crap has anyone ever wore black jeans at this level? I doubt it.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

thunderchad said:


> Why would a husband care if his wife's outfit was too revealing? Wouldn't he be happy?


Women who walk around with their buttcheeks hanging out or their boobs one bounce from falling out of their shirt are just trashy to me. I don't find it attractive at all. So no, I wouldn't want my wife dressing like that. 

The only exception is one formal dress she has that is backless and has a plunging neckline. She very rarely wears it but I can't keep my hands and eyes off her when she does. I'm a sucker for those dresses, but only on skinny very small chested women - and in the right setting.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Hubby and I both take each others opinion/likes into consideration, of course we do. I LOVE his beard, I'd hate him to ever shave it off, so he keeps it hehe. He did shave it off last year for a little while, he said he just felt like he needed a change, but he's grown it back now. He loves my hair long, so I keep it longer, and wouldn't cut it short because I know he likes it long. That said, if he wanted me to get a pixie cut or something I wouldn't because it just wouldn't suit me and I'd hate it. I'm the one who'd have to go out in public wearing it and cop the looks (it REALLY wouldn't suit me pmsl) so no, I wouldn't do it.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

so_sweet said:


> How much do you take your spouse’s opinion into consideration when it comes to your appearance?
> 
> For example:
> 
> ...


I think I take reasonable consideration in terms of his preferences. With hair, for example, I have done the spontaneous chop years back; going for the Natalie Imbruglia 'Torn' look. That was before my current hairstylist who I have been with for years and who would question/resist a spontaneous change. Anyway, he was of the opinion that if I want to try it, have at it... it's only hair, while also expressing he didn't really dig it. However, if I know I'm going for a change now, I'll mention it to him beforehand and he expresses to give it a go if that's what I want. I also know what he doesn't like and so I'm mindful not to go with those options of my own accord. And, it's not that important to me. I feel a deeper alignment to his preferences in terms of physical appearance, as he's the one that I want to keep attracted; the physical is just a small part of that. I recently switched up the hair again, just for a change. Easy to revert back when I want. I found photos of a woman in the spotlight whose hair reflected what I was going for, ready to show the hairstylist, and shared with Batman. He liked it and encouraged to give it a go. I said, 'Obviously I don't look like her...' And he replied, 'It's not her fault she's not as beautiful as you.' Yeah, whatever.  He's also suggested to embrace and rock the 'wisdom hairs' yet I tell him, nope, not happening, not yet.

As for clothing, I typically dress more modestly anyway. My dresses do show off my decolletage and he likes what I wear. I couldn't imagine him asking me to cover up though. Granted, confidence speaks the most to him. If I'm just wearing jeans and music-related t-shirts as my casual wear, he has commented that I'm too cool for school. We met young and so we have experienced the different styles of each others clothing and appearance. In addition, I know that _with me _he would likely lose respect if I were to go the cosmetic surgery route for beauty purposes and would question my priorities if I were to consider it or start having botox and fillers and such. There are aspects of my physical appearance that I'm not keen on, and which he encourages acceptance of and just digs as part of me, and I haven't paid enough attention to properly consider doing anything that would warrant a serious discussion. Therefore, I can't really answer the question about cosmetic surgery as I can't relate to feeling strongly about it for myself. He also wouldn't be into me having fake tan, false eyelashes, hair extensions, or wigs and such. Those things aren't important to me either, so it's a non-issue. Although, I've always been a make-up girl and he likes me both natural and with makeup. If he wasn't accepting that that's how I present to the world, including my choices of clothing, well, it would likely be some kind of incompatibility from the start.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

When there's choices unrelated to any health considerations, the flip-side is when he gets his hair cut, I suggest/ask not to have too much off (as I like it a bit long, and that's more his own preference these days anyway). He knows I'm not into the super clean-cut, shirts tucked-in kind of look. If he suddenly came home with a shaved head or very short hair, sure that's up to him, but he knows my preferences with him; therefore, I might feel a bit 'And that says what?' He does have a beard and mo, I'm used to it and it suits him; although both with or without is good with me. Although, I've gotten so used to the facial hair now. It doesn't take him much to maintain. I dig his clothing choices too. Sometimes I'll buy t-shirts and more formal shirts for him, yet they're based on what he would choose to wear anyway. I can't think of a time where I'd suggest he not wear something.

We had a silly conversation recently though essentially about comfort-familiarity versus A-game dating presentation with one another. I'm not sure there was a conclusion as such other than perhaps comfort/acceptance was more genuine, yet didn't equate to not making effort either.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ccpowerslave said:


> I figure it like this. When I encounter a woman in the wild my brain goes:
> 
> C) A bag of walnuts


Brain suggests you need protein? And/or you recognize that you're hungry?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

heartsbeating said:


> Brain suggests you need protein? And/or you recognize that you're hungry?


It’s an old meme in the “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” template (quiz show). There is a famous one where the question is “Would you hit it?” and one of the answers is “Bag of walnuts”.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

heartsbeating said:


> I said, 'Obviously I don't look like her...' And he replied, 'It's not her fault she's not as beautiful as you.'


That made my heart melt!! 💗💗💗 How incredibly sweet!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

so_sweet said:


> That made my heart melt!! 💗💗💗 How incredibly sweet!




... whereas I affectionately tutted, laughed and rolled my eyes. 
Still, he didn't skip a beat with that one.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> But how does he feel when you show him the new sexy panties, bras, and undergarments? That should be a ok with him. Most guys like to know his women dresses hotly for him to think about during a date or outing.
> 
> My W would point out all the sexy things covering her nibly bits, as we dressed for a night at the clubs and that was outstanding for both of us.
> 
> ...


Can't help feeling for the waitress in that situation. She already has a very busy job with low pay and now she has to cope with that?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

thunderchad said:


> Why would a husband care if his wife's outfit was too revealing? Wouldn't he be happy?


With him it's fine. Going out, not. I wouldn't dress that way for other men to notice or see, just for him in the privacy of our home. Mr D honestly finds modesty attractive in a woman believe it or not.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

thunderchad said:


> I like when other men look at my wife because I'm the one who gets to take her home.


Is that to do with the male ego😂


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> They get paranoid it's for getting other male attention.


Not always.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Not always.


No. There's different types.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> My wife often try’s to get out the front door in her white thin low cut ultra short micro mini body sock dress with no bra or underwear and I always get sick and tired of telling her to put some STILETTO HEELS on.


FIFY!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Diana7 said:


> Can't help feeling for the waitress in that situation. She already has a very busy job with low pay and now she has to cope with that?


Your comment reminded me of when I worked in the health club of a hotel, and a couple came in near closing time. They knew the saunas were separate for men and women. Sensing the cheeky vibe they were giving off, I checked the women's sauna shortly after and sure enough he'd made his way in there and they were making it even hotter aka being intimate. I tapped on the door, gave them a quick second, then said he couldn't be in there as it was women's only. They played ‘innocent’ and laughed it off, and he left. Meanwhile, I was tired and shift nearly ending, getting ready to lock up and just wanting to get home 😝


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)




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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I used to ask my wife's opinion about what suit to wear for a certain occasion... but we never told each other what to wear or not to wear, apart from one occasion when my wife picked a very low cut dress to wear and I had to tell her I was fine for her to wear it - in fact I loved it... lol - but to expect men to be staring at her boobs non stop all evening... well, who could blame them? She has nice boobs... lol... she immediately took it off and I was quite disappointed...


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

In Absentia said:


> I used to ask my wife's opinion about what suit to wear for a certain occasion... but we never told each other what to wear or not to wear, apart from one occasion when my wife picked a very low cut dress to wear and I had to tell her I was fine for her to wear it - in fact I loved it... lol - but to expect men to be staring at her boobs non stop all evening... well, who could blame them? She has nice boobs... lol... she immediately took it off and I was quite disappointed...


Why didn't you ask her to keep it on?
Nothing wrong with that. And she may like it.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

IMO, you don't get into a relationship to then give up all of your autonomy and persona....Of course there are extremes, I won't even bother discussing it, but just for garden variety stuff, like hair, dress, tattoos, etc,.....no....EFF NO.

I can't tell you how many guys I know that defer to their wives for everything....They won't do, buy, or anything without the wives approval..Its ludicrous... I give those women a lot of credit though, they sure have figured out how to train these fools, like puppy dogs...lol


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Why didn't you ask her to keep it on?
> Nothing wrong with that. And she may like it.


It was too late... I guess she pictured a bunch of old dirty salivating men sitting around her at the table with huge erections trying to grab her boobs?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

In Absentia said:


> It was too late... I guess she pictured a bunch of old dirty salivating men sitting around her at the table with huge erections trying to grab her boobs?


Why would she have that picture?

The usual women's mental pictures include appreciation the she knows she's successfully attractively dressed, confident in her demeanor, and likes the fact she may get some admiring looks from other patrons in the social environment during an evening out with her H. 

To tout her being attractively dressed 100% equals and ONLY equals dirty salivating men sitting around her at the table with all with huge erections trying to grab her boobs every second is ridiculous.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Why would she have that picture?
> 
> The usual women's mental pictures include appreciation the she knows she's successfully attractively dressed, confident in her demeanor, and likes the fact she may get some admiring looks from other patrons in the social environment during an evening out with her H.
> 
> To tout her being attractively dressed 100% equals and ONLY equals dirty salivating men sitting around her at the table with all with huge erections trying to grab her boobs every second is ridiculous.


A secure woman doesn't need attention from other men.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

There are things I wouldn't do please a gut. Such as cosmetic surgery/Botox etc.
That's why it's important to be with someone who is on the same page about these things.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> A secure woman doesn't need attention from other men.


So, why would she have that horrid picture and not just enjoy a night out with H in a dress her H likes?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

We both ask for an opinion and give opinions. Usually we are already on the same page and really just looking for confirmation. My goal is to look good for my wife, so if she tells me something does or doesn't look good I will take it to heart. Same for my wife. I can't recall any time I've tried to outright tell my wife what to wear, not wear, hair style etc. That seems a bit much. On a few occasions my wife has done that to me though, but it was probably justified. It was usually when I thought I would just wear something like one of my Iron Maiden T's to a fairly fancy dinner or something, lol.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> The usual women's mental pictures...


She is not your usual woman... but she has nice boobs... probably why I married her... and she didn't say "every second"...


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> So, why would she have that horrid picture and not just enjoy a night out with H in a dress her H likes?


Seriously... that was *my* interpretation of the look on her face when I mentioned her boobs... but she is a shy and reserved woman. She wasn't shy in bed, mind you...


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> There are things I wouldn't do please a gut. Such as cosmetic surgery/Botox etc.
> That's why it's important to be with someone who is on the same page about these things.


I do those things for ME, not for men. Not every single thing that every women does is to get attention from men. Do men really do everything they do for attention from women? Am I taking crazy pills? Don't people ever do things for themselves, or because they just want to? I wear makeup every single day, not for my husband, who doesn't care and certainly not for other men. I do it for me. Is that not something anyone else does?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I do those things for ME, not for men. Not every single thing that every women does is to get attention from men. Do men really do everything they do for attention from women? Am I taking crazy pills? Don't people ever do things for themselves, or because they just want to? I wear makeup every single day, not for my husband, who doesn't care and certainly not for other men. I do it for me. Is that not something anyone else does?


I do it. I don't do anything just to get the attention of another person.....but sometimes it an unintended consequence. 😉


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> I do it. I don't do anything just to get the attention of another person.....but sometimes it an unintended consequence. 😉


OK, I thought maybe I was the weirdo. (That's still possible but not because of this) I honestly think it's kind of unhealthy how all these men think a woman only does anything ever to get attention from men. Like they wake up in the morning and all they think about is getting attention from men all day long? I mean, don't they have jobs? Lives? Brains? I think I just answered my own question, I guess if you think women don't have a fully formed adult brain you might think they only survive on attention. This whole thing blows my mind.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> OK, I thought maybe I was the weirdo. (That's still possible but not because of this) I honestly think it's kind of unhealthy how all these men think a woman only does anything ever to get attention from men. Like they wake up in the morning and all they think about is getting attention from men all day long? I mean, don't they have jobs? Lives? Brains? I think I just answered my own question, I guess if you think women don't have a fully formed adult brain you might think they only survive on attention. This whole thing blows my mind.


I AM a weirdo! I do not like what most other men like when it comes to women, so anything a woman might be doing to get attention usually doesn't work.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> …but it was probably justified. It was usually when I thought I would just wear something like one of my Iron Maiden T's to a fairly fancy dinner or something, lol.


I have been stopped for this exact crime before. Same shirt!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> So, why would she have that horrid picture and not just enjoy a night out with H in a dress her H likes?


She clearly didn't want men ogling her or she wouldn't have changed the top.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> OK, I thought maybe I was the weirdo. (That's still possible but not because of this) I honestly think it's kind of unhealthy how all these men think a woman only does anything ever to get attention from men. Like they wake up in the morning and all they think about is getting attention from men all day long? I mean, don't they have jobs? Lives? Brains? I think I just answered my own question, I guess if you think women don't have a fully formed adult brain you might think they only survive on attention. This whole thing blows my mind.


I do think a lot of women(and men), lap up attention and seem to crave it. Hence the popularity of the so called 'influencers', selfies, only fans sites, cosmetic surgery, botox, dressing a certain way and so on. 
Of course many of us really couldn't care about what people think of us. It's very freeing.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> She clearly didn't want men ogling her or she wouldn't have changed the top.


This is clrearly stretching the whole thing a bit. If she didn't like the dress she wouldn't have put it on first. And I doubt @In Absentia was taking her to a slum club on skid row. I don't see that.

And @In Absentia shared he was sharing his thoughts, not hers.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

He


Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> This is clrearly stretching the whole thing a bit. If she didn't like the dress she wouldn't have put it on first. And I doubt @In Absentia was taking her to a slum club on skid row. I don't see that.
> 
> And @In Absentia shared he was sharing his thoughts, not hers.


He shared his thoughts which she clearly thought about and changed her top. It's lovely that she cared enough to do that.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> He
> He shared his thoughts which she clearly thought about and changed her top. It's lovely that she cared enough to do that.


I'm not saying she's bad, or he is, just that it's really, really doubtful she was in abject fear of imminent lecherous raging peckers and boob grabber old guys. 

And it doesn't sound like @In Absentia specifically asked her to change, likely just being a bit funny and then she changed. 

Shoot, I'd have asked her to keep the dress lose the bra, my hot tamale. Many men would.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> I do think a lot of women(and men), lap up attention and seem to crave it. Hence the popularity of the so called 'influencers', selfies, only fans sites, cosmetic surgery, botox, dressing a certain way and so on.
> Of course many of us really couldn't care about what people think of us. It's very freeing.


Maybe it's age. Let's call it maturity. 😉 That's a kinder word. 😂 But your point is very valid, there certainly are a lot of people on social media who LOVE attention, of both sexes. Social media is ridiculous.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

hamadryad said:


> IMO, you don't get into a relationship to then give up all of your autonomy and persona....Of course there are extremes, I won't even bother discussing it, but just for garden variety stuff, like hair, dress, tattoos, etc,.....no....EFF NO.
> 
> I can't tell you how many guys I know that defer to their wives for everything....They won't do, buy, or anything without the wives approval..Its ludicrous... I give those women a lot of credit though, they sure have figured out how to train these fools, like puppy dogs...lol


My husband recently purchased a car without telling me until after he bought it, and I don't mind one bit. However, for the past couple of weeks, I knew he was interested in buying the car, and when the seller dropped the price, he had to act quick.

Normally, we discuss larger purchases with each other, not for permission but out of respect for each other.

There is only one time I can remember when I said he shoudn't buy something: 

A $10 bag of epsom salt. 

When hubby and I were newly married and saving up for a home, we put ourselves on a budget. While grocery shopping one day, he picked up a $10 bag of epsom salt, stating he needed it for his feet (his work is physically demanding) and he put it in the shopping cart. I told him his feet were fine, he didn't need it and reminded him that we were on a budget.

But, he insisted and we bought it. That bag of epsom salt sat in the corner of the bathroom for ages. I finally stuck it in the bathroom cabinet where it collected dust for a couple of years. 

When we moved out of our apartment into our new home, I brought that still sealed bag of epsom salt with us, mostly as a lark. Every now and then, I'd tease him that he could soak his feet in the epsom salt. I finally threw it out (unused) several years ago. 

Just the other day, he was putting his jacket on and I asked where he was going. He said "To the store...to buy some epsom salt!" He was joking. Thankfully.

Sometimes wife knows best!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I'm not saying she's bad, or he is, just that it's really, really doubtful she was in abject fear of imminent lecherous raging peckers and boob grabber old guys.
> 
> And it doesn't sound like @In Absentia specifically asked her to change, likely just being a bit funny and then she changed.
> 
> Shoot, I'd have asked her to keep the dress lose the bra, my hot tamale. Many men would.


You are greatly exaggerating what he said though. 
Maybe he isn't 'many men'.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

F


so_sweet said:


> My husband recently purchased a car without telling me until after he bought it, and I don't mind one bit. However, for the past couple of weeks, I knew he was interested in buying the car, and when the seller dropped the price, he had to act quick.
> 
> Normally, we discuss larger purchases with each other, not for permission but out of respect for each other.
> 
> ...


For us a car would be a massive purchase that we would talk about and do together.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

.


Diana7 said:


> F
> 
> For us a car would be a massive purchase that we would talk about and do together.


Normally for us it would be as well. It's a used car and wasn't expensive.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I do those things for ME, not for men. Not every single thing that every women does is to get attention from men. Do men really do everything they do for attention from women? Am I taking crazy pills? Don't people ever do things for themselves, or because they just want to? I wear makeup every single day, not for my husband, who doesn't care and certainly not for other men. I do it for me. Is that not something anyone else does?


My wife says almost the same identical statement. She will sometimes wear a nice dress and put on makeup just to go out in our downtown area to get a coffee drink and sit in the grass at the park to read a novel. She says she just feels good and it brightens her day.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Diana7 said:


> F
> 
> For us a car would be a massive purchase that we would talk about and do together.


I am guilty of doing this 😭. I got tired of driving around a small compact car. During my lunch break, I went to go look at a used truck that was just a steal of a deal. The sales guy said just take it and come back tomorrow lol 

I drove home and got the neutral stare 🤣🤣🤣. I pleaded my case, threw in some ice cream, cleaned the kitchen, and let her watch whatever she wanted while rubbing her feet...... I signed the papers the next day 😁😁😁😁


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I am guilty of doing this 😭. I got tired of driving around a small compact car. During my lunch break, I went to go look at a used truck that was just a steal of a deal. The sales guy said just take it and come back tomorrow lol
> 
> I drove home and got the neutral stare 🤣🤣🤣. I pleaded my case, threw in some ice cream, cleaned the kitchen, and let her watch whatever she wanted while rubbing her feet...... I signed the papers the next day 😁😁😁😁


Not to be disrespectful but why would you have to do all that to purchase something you wanted? Seems like hoop jumping


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

I do take my husband's opinions into consideration but it doesn't come up too much, as he likes how I dress, etc...But, if he were to start wearing cowboy hats...eek, I don't know. I don't like hats on men in general, let alone cowboy hats. 😂 Likewise, I have hair to my shoulders, which I know he likes, so if I cut it super short and dyed it green, he of course would still love me...but he might feel the same way as I do about cowboy hats. 

I ask him often what he'd like me to wear say to a party or out for dinner, etc...as it's fun to get his opinion. But, if I really wanted a tattoo, and he frowned on it, I probably wouldn't get one...I'd like _to think_ I wouldn't argue over it. 😌

There's a balance between caring about what your spouse thinks about your appearance, and your spouse controlling your clothing choices, hairstyles, etc...


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> You are greatly exaggerating what he said though.
> Maybe he isn't 'many men'.


No, he specifically said dirty old guys with raging erections grabbing her boobs all night.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Numb26 said:


> Not to be disrespectful but why would you have to do all that to purchase something you wanted? Seems like hoop jumping


It's fine to ask..... But we I guess you could say have an allowance each time we get paid of money we can spend on whatever we want without questions. If she wants to buy a bunch of shoes, I say nothing. If I decide to buy a basket full of fishing tackle, it's fine 

But on a major purchase, we discuss it together. I had no plans of buying a vehicle that day. I saw it online, knew my old vehicle was wearing out, and knew this would be quickly sold at that price. I just went for it..... There was no fight about it though. I think the look was more of who in the hell is pulling up to the house.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> It's fine to ask..... But we I guess you could say have an allowance each time we get paid of money we can spend on whatever we want without questions. If she wants to buy a bunch of shoes, I say nothing. If I decide to buy a basket full of fishing tackle, it's fine
> 
> But on a major purchase, we discuss it together. I had no plans of buying a vehicle that day. I saw it online, knew my old vehicle was wearing out, and knew this would be quickly sold at that price. I just went for it..... There was no fight about it though. I think the look was more of who in the hell is pulling up to the house.


That makes sense. When I was married our finances were kept separate except for on account for living expenses so there was never an issue with purchases.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> F
> 
> For us a car would be a massive purchase that we would talk about and do together.


While that would be conventional thinking, and there is nothing wrong with it, the problem I ran into is that most women(IME) are just too conservative with money and if you listen to them, you wind up going nowhere but the comfort zone...

If I didn't "just make a decision" without considering what she thought or heaven forbid, let her have her way, it would have literally cost me(and subsequently her), millions...No... I am not kidding....

There is nothing wrong with being frugal and smart with money, I am that type, but when I believe in something strongly, then I am sure it's going to work(particularly when it comes to business and investing/real estate)...I just can't let someone else decide my fate....ring or no ring....Women, I believe are programmed to be more risk averse...

I get that this isn't the same as buying a new car, which is almost always a big waste of money...And I also understand that there are some aggressive and financially savvy women out there that don't fret about taking risks in finance and business/investing, I just never met any....


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I’m removing this one, I think it didn’t really fit in with the direction of the thread. After re-reading and reading the subsequent posts, I don’t think it belonged. Not really a threadjack, more a potential one.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

hamadryad said:


> While that would be conventional thinking, and there is nothing wrong with it, the problem I ran into is that most women(IME) are just too conservative with money and if you listen to them, you wind up going nowhere but the comfort zone...
> 
> If I didn't "just make a decision" without considering what she thought or heaven forbid, let her have her way, it would have literally cost me(and subsequently her), millions...No... I am not kidding....
> 
> ...


I agree that a lot of the ladies are conservative with money, but I don't see it as always a bad thing. Women love security and knowing they have a place to live and food for the family.

But while women tend to be very conservative with money, men can get downright reckless and stupid with money hoping for that huge stock gamble to pay off. Kind of like a friend of mine who took out a freaking HELOC to invest in Bitcoin when it was in the 50k range. He thinks Bitcoin will take over as the new currency. I tell him what he is doing is stupidity on steroids. Not only is he way down, but he is now making payments with interest. All for a make believe currency that no one takes and is backed up by nothing.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I am guilty of doing this 😭. I got tired of driving around a small compact car. During my lunch break, I went to go look at a used truck that was just a steal of a deal. The sales guy said just take it and come back tomorrow lol
> 
> I drove home and got the neutral stare 🤣🤣🤣. I pleaded my case, threw in some ice cream, cleaned the kitchen, and let her watch whatever she wanted while rubbing her feet...... I signed the papers the next day 😁😁😁😁


Aww, that was very nice of you to do all of those nice things. I'm guessing your wife would've been fine with the truck purchase even if you didn't do all that?

As for my husband purchasing the used car, it will be useful to two of our sons (we have four) who will be driving soon.

My husband has his truck (needed for work), we have a minivan (family vehicle) and I have my cute little car (I don't like driving big vehicles), so the recent used car purchase was pretty much for the kids when they start driving.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I agree that a lot of the ladies are conservative with money, but I don't see it as always a bad thing. Women love security and knowing they have a place to live and food for the family.
> 
> But while women tend to be very conservative with money, men can get downright reckless and stupid with money hoping for that huge stock gamble to pay off. Kind of like a friend of mine who took out a freaking HELOC to invest in Bitcoin when it was in the 50k range. He thinks Bitcoin will take over as the new currency. I tell him what he is doing is stupidity on steroids. Not only is he way down, but he is now making payments with interest. All for a make believe currency that no one takes and is backed up by nothing.



I agree, that is reckless and nothing I(or anyone else with any sense) would ever do, but many women wouldn't even be happy with a husband quitting a "safe" job to maybe take a business opportunity......or even just invest money period or take a chance on a real estate investment opportunity,,,.....


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

hamadryad said:


> I agree, that is reckless and nothing I(or anyone else with any sense) would ever do, but many women wouldn't even be happy with a husband quitting a "safe" job to maybe take a business opportunity......or even just invest money period or take a chance on a real estate investment opportunity,,,.....


I hear ya there. My wife openly admits that investing is confusing and scary to her. She says if she was single, she would just have an ordinary savings account. I have tried to show her the ropes, but she really doesn't get it. And that is completely fine with me as she just lets me handle it and I keep her updated every now and then or if she asks about it.

But when it comes to running a home, that lady is the Elon Musk of CEOs skilled. I would be a lost soul without her help. I would wake up and find I have no clean work clothes, pour milk on the cereal to discover no clean spoons or dishwashing liquid to clean one 🤣


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

so_sweet said:


> Aww, that was very nice of you to do all of those nice things. I'm guessing your wife would've been fine with the truck purchase even if you didn't do all that?
> 
> As for my husband purchasing the used car, it will be useful to two of our sons (we have four) who will be driving soon.
> 
> My husband has his truck (needed for work), we have a minivan (family vehicle) and I have my cute little car (I don't like driving big vehicles), so the recent used car purchase was pretty much for the kids when they start driving.


She actually would of been ok with me getting the truck. I am not a big fan of paying a lot of money for a vehicle. This was a midsize truck with just over 100k miles for 9,995. But this was well before used vehicles got ridiculous in price. My old vehicle had nearly 300k miles and the transmission was acting up, engine burning oil, and just overall wearing out all over.

She herself drives a Toyota Camry, but she wants to upgrade to a compact SUV at some point.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> She actually would of been ok with me getting the truck. I am not a big fan of paying a lot of money for a vehicle. This was a midsize truck with just over 100k miles for 9,995. But this was well before used vehicles got ridiculous in price. My old vehicle had nearly 300k miles and the transmission was acting up, engine burning oil, and just overall wearing out all over.
> 
> She herself drives a Toyota Camry, but she wants to upgrade to a compact SUV at some point.


I'm assuming it's a pick-up truck like my hubby has, and it sounds like you got a really great deal! My car is a Nissan Versa Note hatchback that I just love...almost feels like a go cart to drive, LOL! I'll drive the minivan but it's not my favorite vehicle to drive.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

so_sweet said:


> I'm assuming it's a pick-up truck like my hubby has, and it sounds like you got a really great deal! My car is a Nissan Versa Note hatchback that I just love...almost feels like a go cart to drive, LOL! I'll drive the minivan but it's not my favorite vehicle to drive.


With gas prices right now, I am sure you are loving it! The compact size is also a dream in city driving.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> You are greatly exaggerating what he said though.
> Maybe he isn't 'many men'.


I did exaggerate… it was very simple, really… she turned up with a sexy dress and I, unfortunately 😅 mentioned the very low cut. She just got changed without telling me and I thought it was a shame. It was really not my place to comment on it. I guess I made her self aware. She’s always had body issues, but then why did she pick that dress in the first place? To be honest, I never understood the woman… 😃


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

so_sweet said:


> How much do you take your spouse’s opinion into consideration when it comes to your appearance?
> 
> For example:
> 
> ...


I like revealing.

That covered, I (50) frequently take my wife's opinion into consideration regarding my appearance. Which is why for the most part I remain clean shaven (my wife feels that moustaches and beards make men look ugly), and also keep my hair short even years after I was required to (since long hair doesn't look good on me).

Plus most importantly through all of the years we have been together, I have not gone bald (although that has taken no effort on my part). Since my wife has promised, that she will dump me if I ever do go bald. ‘Cause she feels that men who are bald look really ugly.

As to my hair, the following image shows it in my 20s, 30s 40s and last week in my 50s.

💈

Regarding my wife (51), she also takes my opinion into consideration as well. Plus on top of that since about 2006 I often buy her nice dresses to wear, since I feel they will look good on her.

Of which the following shows my luscious Sicilian wife wearing some of the dresses I have bought her over the years. With her pictured from left to right then down, during 2012, 2016, 2020, 2021, and this year for the last two.

👗

And since this sort of thing has been part of the discussion, I like the fact that my wife seldom ever wears a bra, with any of the dresses I have got her or she has got herself. So that if I am at the right angle I can look down her top and sometimes catch a glimpse of one or both of her nipples.

Likewise it's also nice that she will wear sexy knickers as well (including ones I have also bought her) or none at all, which is nice especially when she flashes me while we're out and about.

That said, neither of us are shy about telling each other what we think of how we look or offering our opinion on what is going to be worn or is being worn. And we are both direct about it, and will say so even without being asked. For example if the question is "do I look fat in this?", or "does this make me look fat?", and if it does, the answer will certainly be "yes it makes you look fat/frumpy" etc as applicable.

Plus while we're not shy of sharing our opinions on aesthetics, if we don't agree with whatever that opinion is. Both of us have no problem or hesitation in ignoring it, to do whatever we please. Since we are both autonomous individuals who only control ourselves, and regardless of being married have no entitlement to control each other. For example my wife continues to colour her hair (maybe at 90 she'll stop) to hide the grey, when I would be happy if she let it be grey.

Also regarding tattoos, I don't think they're the end of the world at all. Although I think as people age they end up looking awful. Whereas my wife really doesn't like them at all on anyone. So it works out that we're mostly on the same page on this, and neither of us have tattoos.

*Also if anyone quotes this post, I would appreciate it, if you could leave out the pics as posted above.*


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## LeGenDary_Man (Sep 25, 2013)

so_sweet said:


> How much do you take your spouse’s opinion into consideration when it comes to your appearance?
> 
> For example:
> 
> ...


I take my wife's choices into consideration in regards to my "attire." I often request her to pick a dress for me to wear before taking a shower. I also accept her choices in dresses that she would buy for me on her own.

I like to shop for my wife as well. I help her select her dresses when she is shopping around with me; I enjoy this activity with her in fact.

In regards to my looks, I like to shave and get my hair trimmed from time-to-time. My wife encourage me to keep a long hair but she respects my decision to have my hair trimmed from time-to-time.

My wife had a very long and beautiful hair but she experienced significant postpartum hair loss and COVID-19 symptoms did not help either. She changed her shampoo, hair straightener, and applies suitable hair oil more frequently than before. Her hair is now recovering and she is regrowing it upon my encouragement.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

so_sweet said:


> Men, would you change your shirt if your wife didn’t like it? What if she wanted you to shave your beard?


Absolutely. I take her with me when shop for and try in clothes. She has great fashion sense, and always looks fantastic herself. And my beard is to show off to her.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

My husband is very conservative in his wardrobe choices. Everything is black with some grey & navy thrown in. It's so drab. I buy him color which he rarely wears. If I beg, he'll put on a red sweater for Valentine's Day or socks with wreaths for Christmas. He wore color on my 50th birthday as part of my gift.

If I had to dress to his tastes only I would never get to wear a bright color or pattern again. The only time I take his tastes into consideration when dressing is if we are going somewhere for his work. Then I will trot out a basic conservative little black dress. If anything I wear things that make him roll his eyes because they are too "busy" for him. It's not mean, It's a fun teasing thing. I'll wear something bold & ask him if I look good & he'll make a face while saying the right words.

He likes long hair so I would not cut my hair short without talking to him. I like a hairy chest so he stopped shaving his chest in winter. He prefers clean shaven if he's going to be out in the sun so I have to respect that. it seems cooler too.


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> Absolutely. I take her with me when shop for and try in clothes. She has great fashion sense, and always looks fantastic herself. And my beard is to show off to her.


My wife has great fashion sense and I don’t mind her helping me out. I still wear suits occasionally and I pick them out, but she gives me input and helps with other clothing. She’s great with selection of my “business casual” outfits. She knows how to match color with skin tone. If I purchased everything it would be blue and black. As far as my hair, male pattern baldness isn’t pretty on some men and I shave my head. But my wife prefers bald on me. She suggested I grow a mustache and thought I’d look great with one. Bald worked for me because I got promoted not long after my head was shaved. She picked out an awesome sport coat and slacks for more casual office meetings.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

This is a great topic and I totally missed it.

Mrs. C and I do consider each other to an extent but also have our own tastes.

Mrs. C likes me to have facial hair because I am somewhat babyfaced and she likes me looking more my age.

I like her to have longer hair and styled a certain way so she obliges.

We both like being in shape and strive to be physically appealing to each other.

She has done things just for herself that I did not like including breast augmentation and a nose ring.

She does look pretty remarkable and sexy with the augmentation (don't skimp on the surgeon) but I still don't like the nose ring.

I will dress for her and do wear clothes she chooses, and vice versa, but we also each have our own style.

Compromise.😎


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Know what you mean about clothing. I see so many women walking around public with exercise pants on....I call them hoochie momma pants. Leaves little to the imagination. They might as well be naked with body paint in place of clothes.

My wife comes to me to ask about clothing choice. Most times she has concerns about it, it is fine and not revealing, so I reassure her it is good. 

If I do not like it, I will tell her such and she changes. Same for me, I will ask her if something looks ok together. I am a guy that would wear all star he'd denim if I could all the time. Blue jeans, boots and a Resistol straw or black felt hat.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I don't take advice about my appearance from my wife....I mean right honey? LOL

Seriously, one of my natural "talents" is drawing and painting. As a results of such endeavors, I'm very Intune with color coordination, still, I normally ask my wife if she's OK with what I chose when going out to and event with her (or solo). I normally try to coordinate with her outfit. Same for her, She always ask (I'm not afraid to give her my must sincere and trueful opinion)


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

so_sweet said:


> How much do you take your spouse’s opinion into consideration when it comes to your appearance?
> 
> For example:
> 
> ...


Well only person I want to look sexy for is my partner so yes their opinion counts.

If I really like a jacket though and it's my style and she doesn't like it though, I dunno. But I never had anyone change my style.
Cause my style is sexy


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> This is a great topic and I totally missed it.
> 
> Mrs. C and I do consider each other to an extent but also have our own tastes.
> 
> ...


You’re right about “compromise”. It’s really the key to happiness. I guess I do dress for my wife a little but she wants me to look nice. One day we were going somewhere and I was ready to put on a suit I have just for special occasions. She recommended to me not dressing up too much because it wasn’t necessary and I ended up wearing a sport coat with open collar and jeans. What I really needed was a “formal business casual” and she was right.

She’s made good suggestions to me but the biggest change she was right about was getting rid of a partial bald head look. Male pattern baldness made me look older and part of my hair was light gray. I buzzed it down but I then looked unkept. I completely shaved it at her suggestion and grew a mustache and people who would be honest with me liked it.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I rarely ask my husband's opinion about my clothes or shoes. He's not very unbiased. He'll say I look great wearing anything. If he likes what I'm wearing he'd say "Mamacita!!!!" And I just roll my eyes. Lol! 

He'd ask me if something looks good on him, but he really doesn't need to, he's confident enough to do the catwalk while asking, lol! 

I'd like to get one thing fixed but my husband is against it. We'll see if I can convince him.


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## Corgi Mum (10 mo ago)

Dear gawd no. If he had his way I'd be dressed like a streetwalker in outfits that are way to revealing for a woman within spitting distance of 60. No senior citizen needs to be running around in mini skirts and crop tops.

He'll often point to something in a display window and say "that would look good on you" but clearly doesn't realize that something that looks great on a busty mannequin is not going to look nearly the same on me because I'm not going to fill out the top. I've dressed this tall lanky body for enough years to know what styles are flattering and what styles are total flops on me. Thankfully he's never bought me clothes other than a few tees and sweatshirts.

When we've had a function to attend I've asked him which dress (out of ones I already own) he'd like me to wear. That's about the extent of it.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

D0nnivain said:


> My husband is very conservative in his wardrobe choices. Everything is black with some grey & navy thrown in. It's so drab. I buy him color which he rarely wears. If I beg, he'll put on a red sweater for Valentine's Day or socks with wreaths for Christmas. He wore color on my 50th birthday as part of my gift.
> 
> If I had to dress to his tastes only I would never get to wear a bright color or pattern again. The only time I take his tastes into consideration when dressing is if we are going somewhere for his work. Then I will trot out a basic conservative little black dress. If anything I wear things that make him roll his eyes because they are too "busy" for him. It's not mean, It's a fun teasing thing. I'll wear something bold & ask him if I look good & he'll make a face while saying the right words.
> 
> He likes long hair so I would not cut my hair short without talking to him. I like a hairy chest so he stopped shaving his chest in winter. He prefers clean shaven if he's going to be out in the sun so I have to respect that. it seems cooler too.


Shaved chest! Really! I could not imagine unless he were a body builder or competitive swimmer. I shave daily but have only shaved my mustache 1 time in 50 yrs. Not again! I could feel every breeze on my lip. I will trim short but not shave. Wife likes the lip whiskers. Chest shaving...um nope. Im more on par with Sean Connery 20 yrs ago.Guess it is my Scottish traits or maybe the Greek. My wife would not sleep in the same bed if I shaved my chest. I'm a bear and she says my chest is her warm, safe place to lay her head. I am also always warmer than her, be it the hair, testosterone, whatever, I'm like her electric blanket in winter. I got no problem her putting her cold feet on me.

I also very much prefer long hair on a woman and think it adds to their beauty.


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

Corgi Mum said:


> Dear gawd no. If he had his way I'd be dressed like a streetwalker in outfits that are way to revealing for a woman within spitting distance of 60. No senior citizen needs to be running around in mini skirts and crop tops.
> 
> He'll often point to something in a display window and say "that would look good on you" but clearly doesn't realize that something that looks great on a busty mannequin is not going to look nearly the same on me because I'm not going to fill out the top. I've dressed this tall lanky body for enough years to know what styles are flattering and what styles are total flops on me. Thankfully he's never bought me clothes other than a few tees and sweatshirts.
> 
> When we've had a function to attend I've asked him which dress (out of ones I already own) he'd like me to wear. That's about the extent of it.


My wife actually did wear a very short dress and wig one Halloween to a party. She dressed as a “streetwalker”. I wore shorts, a flowered shirt, a hat and camera and sneakers. I was the “customer” on vacation. She’s good with coming up with costume ideas. Another year we dressed as “Mr. Clean” (I’m bald, shave the rest) in white pants and a t-shirt and she dressed as a old style “housewife”. She’s really got fashion sense. So does her younger sister.


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## Corgi Mum (10 mo ago)

Philip P. said:


> My wife actually did wear a very short dress and wig one Halloween to a party. She dressed as a “streetwalker”. I wore shorts, a flowered shirt, a hat and camera and sneakers. I was the “customer” on vacation. She’s good with coming up with costume ideas. Another year we dressed as “Mr. Clean” (I’m bald, shave the rest) in white pants and a t-shirt and she dressed as a old style “housewife”. She’s really got fashion sense. So does her younger sister.


Halloween is forgivable... except we've never dressed up for it 

Those sound like really unique ideas!


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

Corgi Mum said:


> Halloween is forgivable... except we've never dressed up for it
> 
> Those sound like really unique ideas!


Thanks. They were fun ideas. We made the costumes a bit outrageous to be funny and not offend anyone.


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## CreativeMom022 (9 mo ago)

bobert said:


> My wife generally doesn't wear low-cut clothing, however if she was and I commented on it she would absolutely cover up. She has talked about getting breast implants but I'm firmly against that, so I highly doubt she would ever do it. She doesn't want them for herself anyway.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I've always preferred short hair on men. Maybe some length on top, but any longer just seems odd to me. I don't understand the appeal of people like Fabio. 😁


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

CreativeMom022 said:


> I've always preferred short hair on men. Maybe some length on top, but any longer just seems odd to me. I don't understand the appeal of people like Fabio. 😁


I think my wife usually prefers shorter hairstyles on men, or at least doesn't have a set preference either way. She just doesn't like it on me. And she likes having something to play with and the curls that I only have when it's longer. I think it reminds her of when we were teens. At least she doesn't miss me dying it blue  

So it's usually longer. Along the lines of Tom Cruise's hair in The Last Samurai (if I'm remembering my movies correctly).


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

CreativeMom022 said:


> I've always preferred short hair on men. Maybe some length on top, but any longer just seems odd to me. I don't understand the appeal of people like Fabio. 😁


I can't say that I go for Fabio or necessarily hair that long. However, I'm also in the camp that if he's able to have 'longer' hair then that's a preference for me along with slight 'scruffy' appearance. That can conjure different meanings to people. What I personally mean by it is just a way to indicate the opposite to really clean-cut, tucked-in, and short neat hair. I guess more of a relaxed vibe, yet still up with hygiene and style. When my husband was on a work-related zoom, the other person's kid was observing in the background and upon seeing my husband, excitedly asked , 'Dad... you know Dave Grohl?!' Props to the parents that their young child knew who Dave Grohl was. My husband does resemble him; yet slightly less rock and more the day-job version of 'longer' hair.

It's curious where such preferences come from. I don't know if it's related to being a Gen-Xer and trends during adolescence, or what. Although my friends didn't go for the 'scruffy' guys. Maybe I've just related that kind of appearance to a certain vibe that appeals to me. Not sure. Do you have awareness of why you have always preferred short hair?


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## CreativeMom022 (9 mo ago)

Divinely Favored said:


> Know what you mean about clothing. I see so many women walking around public with exercise pants on....I call them hoochie momma pants. Leaves little to the imagination. They might as well be naked with body paint in place of clothes.
> 
> My wife comes to me to ask about clothing choice. Most times she has concerns about it, it is fine and not revealing, so I reassure her it is good.
> 
> If I do not like it, I will tell her such and she changes. Same for me, I will ask her if something looks ok together. I am a guy that would wear all star he'd denim if I could all the time. Blue jeans, boots and a Resistol straw or black felt hat.


Thank you for mentioning this! My husband has actually said I should wear high heels, even though I am taller than him. He has also said that I should wear leggings more often (not with the heels...haha). It makes me wonder if he is


heartsbeating said:


> I can't say that I go for Fabio or necessarily hair that long. However, I'm also in the camp that if he's able to have 'longer' hair then that's a preference for me along with slight 'scruffy' appearance. That can conjure different meanings to people. What I personally mean by it is just a way to indicate the opposite to really clean-cut, tucked-in, and short neat hair. I guess more of a relaxed vibe, yet still up with hygiene and style. When my husband was on a work-related zoom, the other person's kid was observing in the background and upon seeing my husband, excitedly asked , 'Dad... you know Dave Grohl?!' Props to the parents that their young child knew who Dave Grohl was. My husband does resemble him; yet slightly less rock and more the day-job version of 'longer' hair.
> 
> It's curious where such preferences come from. I don't know if it's related to being a Gen-Xer and trends during adolescence, or what. Although my friends didn't go for the 'scruffy' guys. Maybe I've just related that kind of appearance to a certain vibe that appeals to me. Not sure. Do you have awareness of why you have always preferred short hair?


That's funny! I am also GenX, and have no idea why I prefer shorter hair on men. My dad used to have a beard and somewhat long hair, so you'd think I would prefer that!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

With clothing, I don't often ask my husband what I should wear or vice verse. However, the only full-length mirror we currently have is by the front door; and so on the (somewhat rare) occasion it might be a quick look in the mirror before we head out and I'll ask, 'This okay?' Given we're already about to leave, I suppose I'm requesting reassurance. He's responded along the lines of, 'Bit more than okay... beautiful.' or 'Yep, you're good to go!' Or also on somewhat rare occasion, I will quickly glance in the mirror on our way out and tell him, 'We're looking on-point!' 

Otherwise, a few weeks back and choosing which dress to wear to a dinner with others and I pulled out a newer dress I hadn't worn before. Put it on, asked his opinion - didn't take myself to the full-length mirror for it. I'm paraphrasing but he essentially said the pattern made it a bit frumpy and I'm too funky for that. If I had thought it was good, I would have stuck with it (and likely not asked in the first place). Also, I buy most clothes online and therefore this was a rare purchase that didn't end up quite right for me. Okay. Put on next option, asked if he thought it was 'too booby' ...he responded 'mmm boobs...' and then essentially relayed that it _was_ 'booby' but he thought it looked good because... boobies... and pointed out that I obviously had hesitation about wearing it. Yeah, I had hesitation; mostly for the setting we'd be in. Went with a different dress. Those moments of asking him are few and far between though.

He rarely asks me about what he's wearing. I'll compliment his style. I guess also few and far between moments, he might ask my opinion between two shirts or something, depending on the setting. Or if he questions that he might be dressed too casually, and which I typically don't think he is. Rare occurrences though; I'm hard-pressed to really think of when he asks me. I might just ask him, 'Ready, Batman?' (and yes, using the nickname Batman) and he'll be, 'Let's go!' That's more the extent of it in terms of clothing.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

CreativeMom022 said:


> Thank you for mentioning this! My husband has actually said I should wear high heels, even though I am taller than him. He has also said that I should wear leggings more often (not with the heels...haha). It makes me wonder if he is
> 
> That's funny! I am also GenX, and have no idea why I prefer shorter hair on men. My dad used to have a beard and somewhat long hair, so you'd think I would prefer that!


Seems I'm temporarily stuck in this thread, however, your comment about your dad got me thinking too. As my dad and grandad were more clean-cut (and that would have likely been generational / socioculturally influenced), I took to google and a couple of things stood out to me about my preference for the 'scruffy' look. If I've ever thought on this before, I can't recall, but it kind of made sense that it could link to my perception of indicating a level of being non-conformist (even though these aspects of appearance may be more common place now) and something about biological interest with the facial hair; of which I learned my husband's facial hair would more be considered heavy stubble.

Although when we met he didn't look the way he does now in terms of his style (and has for years). Still, even when he had short hair and no facial hair when we met in person (didn't know what one another looked like initially, as our first contact was over the phone) his clothing style and body language, and energy, is something I likely perceived as a similar vibe as I'd mentioned before about the 'scruffy' look.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

hamadryad said:


> I can't tell you how many guys I know that defer to their wives for everything....


Chance would be a fine thing. I kid. 

This would be such a turn-off for me.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

CreativeMom022 said:


> Thank you for mentioning this! My husband has actually said I should wear high heels, even though I am taller than him. He has also said that I should wear leggings more often (not with the heels...haha). It makes me wonder if he.


I have a thing for ankles with straps so I really like my wife wearing heels with straps around ankles.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I am colour blind so my wife selects my clothing so I don't clash.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

No, this past weekend was actually a trip to Joseph Banks, and a BB shirts order. I've always done my own clothes choices and shopping.


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

CreativeMom022 said:


> I've always preferred short hair on men. Maybe some length on top, but any longer just seems odd to me. I don't understand the appeal of people like Fabio. 😁


My wife prefers short hair on men. But she really likes the bald look (more so if a man has the shaped head for it). I shave my head due to baldness but I felt real self conscious about it initially. I had thought about one of those hair toupee systems but my wife said she prefers me bald and to her I look much younger. I think the short hair or shaved head seems to be the prevailing style now. I think an older man doesn’t always look good with long hair.


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