# Bed-Wetting Husband



## BrittanyJ (Nov 19, 2017)

Earlier this year my husband, in his mid 30’s, started having bed-wetting accidents. I noticed the accidents mainly seem to happen after having a few drinks on our nights out together. I have also noticed he will randomly have accidents after working extended hours as he doesn’t work the typical eight to five type of job and is an extremely heavy sleeper.

So, the other night I mentioned to him that I would like him to start wearing diapers to bed on the nights he drinks and after the days he works his 16+ hour long shifts. His face immediately turned red and you could tell he felt embarrassed. I reassured him that I was ok with the idea of him wearing protection to bed and reminded him that it would help keep the bed dry.

I love him more than anything in this world and would never look at him any differently for wearing protection. I’ve noticed it appears to be more of a common trend than people may think. 

That being said, since he started wearing his pull-up diapers to bed, I noticed that he appears to sleep better and even admitted that he actually likes how comfortable they are to wear. The only issue I have is that I have noticed they leak more often then not. 

Should I suggest that he start wearing the tabbed diapers? Everything I read on the internet has said they are much more absorbent and less likely to leak. Just looking for your thoughts.

I know some of you that are reading this may think I’m crazy for suggesting he wear diapers but I don’t look at diapers in a negative light. They are just an available tool to use in order to fix an issue and are harmless. I think he actually looks cute in them. Oddly enough, I feel like it has brought us closer together and I like taking care of him.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

No, he should not ware tabbed diapers. WTH? These are mostly used by adults who cannot dress themselves.

There are plenty of adult briefs that have the same sort of absorbent material as tabbed diapers.

Also, if he is wetting the bed he needs to see a doctor. 

Bed-wetting that starts in adulthood (secondary enuresis) is uncommon and requires medical evaluation.

Causes of adult bed-wetting may include:


A blockage (obstruction) in part of the urinary tract, such as from a bladder stone or kidney stone
Bladder problems, such as small capacity or overactive nerves
Diabetes
Enlarged prostate
Medication side effect
Neurological disorders
Obstructive sleep apnea
Urinary tract infection

Tests and procedures used to determine the cause of adult bed-wetting include:


Physical exam
Urine tests
Urologic tests
Neurological evaluation

Treatment of adult bed-wetting is directed at the underlying cause, when possible.


https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases...expert-answers/adult-bed-wetting/faq-20058456


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

You can buy washable pads that go under him. I used those on my children's beds when they were learning how to potty train. They can be warm though, because they are lined with vinyl. (They are not cheap, but over the years they pay for themselves.)

Just like a child, he needs to become aware of his dreams, and wake up if he dreams he is going to the bathroom, or feels his clothes getting wet.

IMO I don't think the diapers are good solution to solving the real problem. He needs to wake up, get up, and go to the bathroom.

Has he seen a physician to make sure everything is OK physiologically?

He must be a very deep sleeper.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Has he gone to the doctor??!!


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## BrittanyJ (Nov 19, 2017)

EleGirl, not sure why you felt it necessary to to add the ?WTH?. A simple ?no? would have been enough. I only asked that question because many sites indicated the briefs worked better for side sleepers which is how my husband commonly sleeps.

As for the question pertaining to seeking medical attention, yes we did contact our healthcare provider to rule out any other serious problems that may cause nocturnal enuresis as a side effect. So please refrain from coping and pasting the same information that I?m perfectly capable of googling about potential causes.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

@BrittanyJ, you mention "health care provider," which sounds like a GP. Has he actually seen a urologist?


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

OP is your husband taking any kind of meds? Or possibly using drugs? Is he drinking more than the "few drinks" you know about? While I applaud your tolerance and support of your husband's issue adult diapers seem to be a bandaid type fix for what is likely a more serious issue. This issue needs investigated until you find the reason.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

He needs to see a urologist ASAP.


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

BrittanyJ said:


> Earlier this year my husband, in his mid 30’s, started having bed-wetting accidents. Just looking for your thoughts.
> 
> I know some of you that are reading this may think I’m crazy for suggesting he wear diapers but I don’t look at diapers in a negative light. They are just an available tool to use in order to fix an issue and are harmless. I think he actually looks cute in them. Oddly enough, I feel like it has brought us closer together and I like taking care of him.



While he may "look cute" in diapers and you "like taking care of him"-

He needs to see a Dr.- ASAP-
That would be taking care of him.

Stroke?
Cancer?
Diabetes?

All of the above?

You can discuss the best diapers with your husband and his team of physician's AFTER you get a diagnosis.


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

@BrittanyJ, you might request the get. over into the Focus Topics/Physical and Mental Health section.

I knew soldiers that suffered from time to time like your husband... drinks (usually alcohol) or other drinks with diuretics (knew one guy who couldn't drink any caffeinated, not for lack of sleep, but he would need to pee 20 times in one hour). Combine that with 48 hours straight with no sleep on maneuvers and they would sleep though wetting themselves if all combined. Never talked about because they were stellar soldiers who had your back but they also knew to never ask to borrow another's sleeping bag. 

In the end, it lessened a lot by having a team of "dad's" who would coach someone with this by making sure hydration was focused in the mission, then not "allowing" (stern reminders) anything artificial as things were winding down... caffeines, sugary drinks, definitely booze, until they were not exhausted and had a more normal sleep available.

An ounce of prevention, I'm sure you are taking the necessary physical precautions like you would a child but you might also check in with a nursing team at your local hospital for some ideas how they perfect this as well, I am sure they have lots of experience and advice as they deal with this all the time to keep things clean and the patient comfortable while you figure out the pattern of this.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Get his PSA checked. The digital prostrate exam is by no means definitive.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Have him throughly checked out by his urologist immediately! *


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> No, he should not ware tabbed diapers. WTH? These are mostly used by adults who cannot dress themselves.
> 
> There are plenty of adult briefs that have the same sort of absorbent material as tabbed diapers.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

A medical evaluation is required and sooner rather than later, I think.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

BrittanyJ said:


> Earlier this year my husband, in his mid 30’s, started having bed-wetting accidents. I noticed the accidents mainly seem to happen after having a few drinks on our nights out together. I have also noticed he will randomly have accidents after working extended hours as he doesn’t work the typical eight to five type of job and is an extremely heavy sleeper.
> 
> So, the other night I mentioned to him that I would like him to start wearing diapers to bed on the nights he drinks and after the days he works his 16+ hour long shifts. His face immediately turned red and you could tell he felt embarrassed. I reassured him that I was ok with the idea of him wearing protection to bed and reminded him that it would help keep the bed dry.
> 
> ...


Your husband was embarrassed that you suggested wearing adult diapers to bed but he wasn't embarrassed about wetting the actual bed? 

Look, people who actually want to fix the problem will do whatever it takes to fix it. If your husband hasn't done everything in his power to do so then you are well within your right to ask him to either wear whatever it takes to keep the marital bed dry or he can go sleep on a different bed/tub/floor. 

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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

OP, woman here, 37 years married (first marriage for both of us), & 59 years old. You need to see your primary physician and get your husband thoroughly checked. As others have suggested, you will most likely will be referred to a urologist. Your husband is too young to be in this condition. Mature diapers are used for elderly individuals who have incontinent problems due to health issues. Most likely, there are underlying conditions that causes him to wet his bed; 'tho excessive alcohol use can aggravate his condition.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

So I think the common question here is whether your husband has actually seen a urologist. Clarifying that would certainly help us to understand the circumstances better.

In the meantime, maybe he should cut his drinking and you could consider purchasing a waterproof mattress pad and waterproof bed pad. See if ceasing drinking lessons or stops the issue.


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## sherrialicia (Jul 10, 2013)

First off if you care at all about his dignity never referred to them as diapers again, they are depends. Second he is way too young for this problem, he needs to see a dr and stop drinking. If he's drinking that heavily he has a problem. Third, he does not need the ones with tabs, he needs to drink less before bed, a disposable bed pad may also be helpful.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

.


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## icry4him (Nov 25, 2017)

Has he been checked for diabetes. If blood sugar is high it will happen

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## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

I suggest your husband quits drinking.

Do you really need internet strangers to tell you this?

Does HE need anyone to tell him this?

Seriously if a sane and rational person pisses himself when he drinks, to the point that he's gotta wear diapers to bed, what is the expected response?

A- No more drinking for me!

B- These diapers actually feel pretty good

The whole idea of finding the correct diaper is nuts


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Yeah...I'm going to sit this one out. :grin2:


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

You're too late. She already flew the coop.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

had an operation where i had to wear a foley catheter for 2 weeks. then afterward the plumbing had a leak for a long while.

They make these shield things that stick inside your underwear, and can contain a mild amount of fluid. and they are not weird like wearing an actual diaper.

in the mean time...sounds like a trip to the urologist is in order to figure out why. maybe all he needs is to do some kegel exercises, maybe he has to actual medical issues that need attending to? I am thinking a bladder infection, or something even worse going on...


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