# Dont want Ex to see new car??



## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

Im divorced and my ex is money hungry.
She drives a nice Infinity and I have always driven junk. After mmy daughter turned 18, I went out and got a nice, nice, nice new car. I still pay on my son. Im afraid to let her see me in it. She will think Im making more money and go for a modification.
She will be jelous for sure.
Am I stupid?? Has anyone here felt this way??
Should I care if she sees ot or would you hide it. I have 2 other junkers


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Do you have visitation with your son? Obviously you can't hide it long term.


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## marriedman321 (Mar 7, 2013)

rep said:


> Im divorced and my ex is money hungry.
> She drives a nice Infinity and I have always driven junk. After mmy daughter turned 18, I went out and got a nice, nice, nice new car. I still pay on my son. Im afraid to let her see me in it. She will think Im making more money and go for a modification.
> She will be jelous for sure.
> Am I stupid?? Has anyone here felt this way??
> Should I care if she sees ot or would you hide it. I have 2 other junkers


Yes, I have felt this way.. After my car accident my wife was even jealous of my rental car.. Not believing it was a rental.. 

Now I need to buy a new car after my insurance check, and it has crossed my mind as well.


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## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

So what should I do??
She will flip but should I care?
Its a Porsche and I know she will think I got a big raise or something


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## marriedman321 (Mar 7, 2013)

Can she prove you make more money?

I would get the Porsche if it were me..


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## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

We divorced about 3 years ago. My daughter turned 18 about 6 months ago and the CS was modified using the old numbers. I do make more but she never asked for new numbers.
If she asks, Yes I would be paying more but I don't know if she can ask for a modification out of the blue for no reason.
I already have the car tho


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## HHB (Nov 21, 2014)

Only let her see you in a junker until the last kid is 18. My ex was a vindictive Psycho Nazi B!tch from H3ll and clawed and scratched very penny. Took my BMW 325is and traded it for a Toyota Corolla. (Oh the humanity!) 

Finally her folks died and she ended up RICH!!!. Still wouldn't let go of the spousal support (California). So I threatened to bring her into court and ask for support myself and an audit of her income and finances. Support got cut to $1 a month. She still had to have at least some semblance of a hook into me. 

So, as soon as the kid turns 18, drive by in the the Porsche. Rent the sexiest blond looker you can find and both wave as go by. Perhaps you can even honk. Remember "living well is the best revenge."


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

HHB said:


> *Only let her see you in a junker until the last kid is 18.* My ex was a vindictive Psycho Nazi B!tch from H3ll and clawed and scratched very penny. Took my BMW 325is and traded it for a Toyota Corolla. (Oh the humanity!)
> 
> Finally her folks died and she ended up RICH!!!. Still wouldn't let go of the spousal support (California). So I threatened to bring her into court and ask for support myself and an audit of her income and finances. Support got cut to $1 a month. She still had to have at least some semblance of a hook into me.
> 
> *So, as soon as the kid turns 18, drive by in the the Porsche.* Rent the sexiest blond looker you can find and both wave as go by. Perhaps you can even honk. Remember "living well is the best revenge."


Word.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old is your son?

You bought the car. She's going to see it. 

If she goes to court, you will have to pay what the court says. 

No much you can do about it.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Lol, you just gave her a reason to request new numbers. Not sure why you'd worry though, if you earn enough to have three cars, one being a brand new Porsche, it's not going to be that big a deal to pay more in CS is it?


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

If you're adult enough to own a Porche, you're adult enough to not care what your x thinks or does.

The CSEA in my State sends automated forms every three years to both parties to see if a review of CS is needed. It's standard protocol. If no one files for a hearing, then it's status quo. If not, both parties are required to send in current financial information and CS is recalculated. No muss, no fuss.

At any time if there is a change in circumstances, either party can request a hearing. It's nothing to be scared of.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

I would hide it. Going back to court is painful and costly.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

If you were that worried, you shouldn't have bought it. No sense in trying to hide it unless you have something to hide. If you are grossly underpaying her according to what your state's requirements are, that should be remedied anyway.


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## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

Maryland is a messed up state. She makes 93K and we have 50/50.
I still pay her. She pulls up in an Infinity.
I have to hide. 
Stupid that I pay her when she makes that much and we share him 50/50


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

*Re: Re: Dont want Ex to see new car??*



rep said:


> Maryland is a messed up state. She makes 93K and we have 50/50.
> I still pay her. She pulls up in an Infinity.
> I have to hide.
> Stupid that I pay her when she makes that much and we share him 50/50


How much do you make? 

C


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

rep said:


> Maryland is a messed up state. She makes 93K and we have 50/50.
> I still pay her. She pulls up in an Infinity.
> I have to hide.
> Stupid that I pay her when she makes that much and we share him 50/50


Man, I live in MD & I think that is messed up you pay child support when you both have your son 50/50.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

rep said:


> Maryland is a messed up state. She makes 93K and we have 50/50.
> 
> I still pay her. She pulls up in an Infinity.
> 
> ...


If she makes 93K and you have 50/50 and you still pay child support, then you make a lot more than she does. It's right that you should pay child support. 

This is the law in every state. The child support is so that your children live in similar live styles in both homes.


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## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> The child support is so that your children live in similar live styles in both homes.


If it were only true, more men wouldn't ***** about paying support.

Most child support in my experience goes to pay for larger breasts, plenty of liposuction, collagen injections and an extensive, expensive wardrobe for the ex.


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## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

No it's not right. CS was meant for those women that could but take care of themselves,, not someone making 93k!!
I'm being punished bc I make more?!
She does not need the money for my son. She will buy new boobs again or other crap. The CS system is messed up !!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

*Re: Re: Dont want Ex to see new car??*



rep said:


> No it's not right. CS was meant for those women that could but take care of themselves,, not someone making 93k!!
> I'm being punished bc I make more?!
> She does not need the money for my son. She will buy new boobs again or other crap. The CS system is messed up !!


You seem to be avoiding the question about how much you make. Giving her income without your own is pointless. 

C


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

rep said:


> No it's not right. CS was meant for those women that could but take care of themselves,, not someone making 93k!!
> I'm being punished bc I make more?!
> She does not need the money for my son. She will buy new boobs again or other crap. The CS system is messed up !!



If that's the true intent then you have nothing to worry about. Of course you know that's not really how it works otherwise you wouldn't be hiding your income. 

Here's s little hint...next time you want to hide your wealth but a Ford. You can't have it both ways. You want the Porche, buck up and pay your obligations.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

In my state (and I'm sure most states) there is a formula used that involves the income of each parent (taking into account the ability to make said income) and they use that to weigh how much each parent is responsible for in a child's upkeep. If there is an imbalance, the other parent pays the difference. And even with joint custody, there is a primary custodian that is a "tie breaker" so to speak if decisions can't be made jointly. The primary caretaker has final say in decision making. So if you don't want your child to enroll in a private school, but your ex does, and she is the primary caretaker, she can enroll the child in the private school. It is set up like that to prevent stalemates.

She may see you as just a paycheck, sure. But driving a Porche while worrying about her seeing and taking you back to court makes you look like one to me too. Just my opinion!


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> . . . . Here's s little hint...next time you want to hide your wealth but a Ford. You can't have it both ways. You want the Porche, buck up and pay your obligations.


Yeah a Ford or a Subaru WRX STI. She’ll never suspect a 4-door, Japanese compact and the WRX will give the Porsche a good run in terms of a damn fun car to drive.


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## rep (Jun 11, 2012)

I don't want to hide it, that's the point.
Again,,, please explain why I should pay her anything if she makes 93k ??
Is that not enough??
People want things for nothing,, it's the new Americsn wzy. Give it to me bc I'm black or female. It's wrong. I have him 50%.
She can take care of herself. Entitlement is an excuse for laziness. The courts are not always right you know. 
People that don't make much, people that have not succeeded are always jeleous of the people that suceed.


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

Love your son MORE than you hate your x.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

SpinDaddy said:


> Yeah a Ford or a Subaru WRX STI. She’ll never suspect a 4-door, Japanese compact and the WRX will give the Porsche a good run in terms of a damn fun car to drive.



Nissan Skyline GTR. 

"But your Honor it looks just like a 2 door Altima with spoilers "

My post divorce car will be another Mini, a JCW hopefully. Or a Fiat 500 Abarth...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Methuselah said:


> If it were only true, more men wouldn't ***** about paying support.
> 
> Most child support in my experience goes to pay for larger breasts, plenty of liposuction, collagen injections and an extensive, expensive wardrobe for the ex.


Being a woman who raised children after divorce, I call nonsense on this.

Just because a woman busy something with the money in her bank account, it does not mean that she is not using the child support for the children. 

Are women supposed to stop everything because they are divorced and get child support?

Most women raising kids cannot afford what you listed even if they get child support.


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## independentgirl (Nov 14, 2014)

Methuselah said:


> Most child support in my experience goes to pay for larger breasts,


I am not married, so there no divorce. But what you say won't ever be true in my case, even if I was divorce, lol. why? because naturally I already have large breast and a-s-s, there no need for me to make it larger, lol.
maybe u live in a place where there lots of small breast women, cuz here in the USA, majority of women are already well developed figure with full breast size, lol.

and remember, u pay for 'child support' to support your baby, your flesh and blood. If you not married to the mother, then you don't have to pay for spousal support, concentrate on paying for your son.
And if you think the mom misuse the child support, get some proof, hard proof to bring it to court, and let the court decide.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

rep said:


> I don't want to hide it, that's the point. . . .


Yes the Subaru WRX comment was a little tongue in cheek but after looking at your other posts I appreciate the Porsche is total a middle age crisis thing for you. You want it to impress the chicks you’ve started to date on-line – you don’t probably know a damn thing about cars.

Which puts you in an awkward, if not childish position, of wanting the expensive car and the accolades that go with it but not wanting the associated collateral that also goes with the expensive car.



rep said:


> . . . . Again,,, please explain why I should pay her anything if she makes 93k ?? Is that not enough?? . . . .


You’d need to ask the Judge or better yet your attorney. My guess is it will have something to do with a just and equitable allocation of financial responsibilities. To understand that however, you’d need to not just look at it from your singular POV however.



rep said:


> . . . . People want things for nothing,, it's the new Americsn wzy. Give it to me bc I'm black or female. It's wrong. I have him 50%. . . . .


Oh boy Rep, your true colors are showing with these comments. And it is probably this type of thinking and logic which alienates your teenage daughter as well. That notwithstanding, you need to understand the allocations of financial responsibility are not necessarily a 1:1 in ratio to custody.



rep said:


> . . . . She can take care of herself. Entitlement is an excuse for laziness. The courts are not always right you know.
> 
> People that don't make much, people that have not succeeded are always jeleous of the people that suceed.


You’re a real work of art Rep!


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## Janis (Nov 21, 2014)

Don't care. It is far too much stress.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

rep said:


> So what should I do??
> She will flip but should I care?
> Its a Porsche and I know she will think I got a big raise or something


The court will need to see proof of increase in salary. If there is not increase she has no leg to stand on.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> The child support is so that your children live in similar live styles in both homes.


It is? So that's why I always see the mothers in a house while the fathers have to rent a cracker box apartment.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

rep said:


> Im divorced and my ex is money hungry.
> She drives a nice Infinity and I have always driven junk. After mmy daughter turned 18, I went out and got a nice, nice, nice new car. I still pay on my son. Im afraid to let her see me in it. She will think Im making more money and go for a modification.
> She will be jelous for sure.
> Am I stupid?? Has anyone here felt this way??
> Should I care if she sees ot or would you hide it. I have 2 other junkers


I don't worry about what the X sees me with. It does off my income. If I buy a new car its because I needed one, not because I got some windfall of money.

So let her be jealous. Nothing she can do about it. She drives an Infinity and is going to be jealous that you got something new? She sounds like a piece of work.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

rep said:


> So what should I do??
> She will flip but should I care?
> Its a Porsche and I know she will think I got a big raise or something


So let her think that.

What would happen is if you didn't get a big raise, she'd take you back, they'd see your income didn't really increase, and she'd get Jack Schidt. Or spend all that money on a lawyer maybe to get an increase of a few bucks.

Let her flip out.

And if your son only has a few years left til he is 18, you are pretty close to done paying CS. And when that happens, THAT is when she is going to flip out. CS is supposed to be for the kids. But too often its above and over what it takes to take care of them. At least in the case of a CS paying parent that makes good money.

If that is the scenario in your case, she is going to lose the ability to take your money, pay for the kids, and use whatever is left on herself. Going to suck to be her. Just take comfort in that fact.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Methuselah said:


> If it were only true, more men wouldn't ***** about paying support.
> 
> Most child support in my experience goes to pay for larger breasts, plenty of liposuction, collagen injections and an extensive, expensive wardrobe for the ex.


Well although my x didn't get larger boobs, she is able to use that generous support on her own desires too.

And you know what, it is what it is. I don't complain. All I want her to do is take my money, take care of them, and then leave me alone. But if too many other men put up with what I do, then she ends up thinking she can bug me for more money.

To shut her up I told her if she thinks its unfair, and my kids are a burden on her, we can switch custody.

But enough of that, I don't want to t/j


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I think your being foolish for buying it in the first place. why would you buy it knowing that she would take you back for more support????

why not just keep saving until your child is off support then you could have paid cash for it.


guess I don't really feel sorry for someone who can afford a Porsche and child payments. when there are really poor people who have to move back with there parents or live like a popper to get by as there family is in shambles.

merry Christmas!


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> I think your being foolish for buying it in the first place. why would you buy it knowing that she would take you back for more support????


She won't get more support unless his income increased.

She doesn't get support just because he went out and bought a car.




> guess I don't really feel sorry for someone who can afford a Porsche and child payments.


Yes, I kind of thought the same thing. But its probably the principle of it. A man should be able to pay child support and not worry about being harassed by the x-wife for more money.

Bottom line with child support.

-a man should be able to pay it and feel good that he is providing for his kids

-an x-wife that gets it should be thankful and maybe even say "thank you" when he hands her a check

-x-wife should get the check and leave him alone, and if you want more, then take him back if you think his income increased. Other than that, STFU

Sorry, that last part is coming from a man who pays his support on time, doesn't complain, but then is made to feel like I should pay for other things even though I pay more than enough. Just pisses me off.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

vellocet said:


> She won't get more support unless his income increased.
> 
> She doesn't get support just because he went out and bought a car.
> 
> ...


he indicated that he dose make more money now. at least thats what a read.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

chillymorn said:


> he indicated that he dose make more money now. at least thats what a read.


Not sure if he meant more NOW or just more than she does.

Either way, it is what it is. She only gets a set percentage. So as his income rises yes, she can get some of it, but he also gets it.

I don't get all stressed over whether my X will take me back for more. I just know that in only a few more years, she'll get Jack Schidt, and just looking forward to that makes me


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

If you want the car, and can afford it, then buy it. It's your money you are allowed to spend it however you see fit.

As to whatever your ex may think/believe/feel, why the fck do you give a sht?

If she thinks you make more and is entitled to a modification, then both of you offer up your tax return and compare earnings, and then go by the formula. If you are not earning more, then you will not have to pay more child support. If you do earn more, and/or she earns the same or less, then pay up. If you are hiding your income so that you get out of paying child support that would be despicable.

But you obviously give her way too much power over you.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Lila said:


> See OP's post above.
> 
> *Yes, his income did increase.
> 
> ...


yes, seeing that his income has increased, the terms of modifications are likely clearly spelled out in the separation agreement. My ex and I are allowed to request financial information from the other once a year, and can request a modification at any time we choose.


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