# This is hard, but I need CHRISTIAN advice...please~



## mom4csf

Ok, so I am new to this forum, so hello to everyone!! 
Well, here it goes....my hubby and I have been married for 6 years and 3.5 of those years he spent in prison. Well, he had multiple affairs and ended up getting one of those women pregnant. His son just turned 4 today. I am in such an emotional uproar today that I can't even stand being near me. I cry then I get mad, I go quiet then I want to talk my head off. I have forgiven my husband. I truly feel that God put my hubby where he needed to be so he could get back to where God wanted him. I love my hubby and would do anything for him, but the mother of his child is making things very difficult. I know my hubby needs to have a relationship w/ his son, but how do I get over the hatred and anger I have towards her?? My husband called his sone yesterday and "she" talked to my hubby about the b-day party for this weekend for his son and asked if I was going. He told her yes and she made some comments about "my family is going to be there so I don't want any questions or any scenes". AAAAGGGHHH!! What the heck would I want to ask her?? The only thing I can think of is that she married some illegal guy just so he could get his greencard and her family doesn't know about it. That is it. But, it has already been established that she lied about that and I called her on it. Anyway, to get back on point here, there are so many issues and whenever she or his son gets talked about, I just get really angry and want to do things that a Christian shouldn't. What do I do? What should I feel? I am hurt, angry, and confused. My hubby has already told me that he wants nothing to do with her and that she was a mistake and now he has a son and he wants/needs to take care of him. I trust my hubby, I really do, but I don't trust her. She has proven to be a liar and manipulator and I can't stand to look at her!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!

-me!!!


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## draconis

Okay, here goes.

First you love your husband and want to stay with him, so there is no problem there.

Genesis 29:32 (King James Version)
32And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the LORD hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me.


Second, you don't trust her. Well you don't have to, if you trust your husband has enough morals then he can, should and will do the right thing no matter how alluring she might be.

Third, the child. That child is more important then YOU, HER or your HUSBAND, period. If you go do not make a scene just be polite. Even when Jesus was being led off to die he showed kindness and compassion for the very people that would hurt him. 

John 18:10 & 11 (King James Version)
10Then Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the high priest's servant, and cut off his right ear. The servant's name was Malchus. 
11Then said Jesus unto Peter, Put up thy sword into the sheath: the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it? 


So my advice go to the party and no matter what be quiet. For your husband, for you and for your step son.

draconis


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## mom4csf

Thank you! I appreciate that. I know, I know, I know I need to be polite and not worry about things. My hubby went thru some stupid things and now his butt is back in line! I trust him w/ all I have and he know that he has a lot to lose should he go back to where he was. Me and our 3 babies!!! 

Thanks again!!!!


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## draconis

You are welcome. I hope the best for you. If you ever feel jealous there just smile and know you have him and she does not.

draconis


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## katharina

mom4csf said:


> My hubby has already told me that he wants nothing to do with her and that she was a mistake and now he has a son and he wants/needs to take care of him. I trust my hubby, I really do, but I don't trust her. She has proven to be a liar and manipulator and I can't stand to look at her!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!
> 
> -me!!!


I'll watch here to see how the gathering went for you. I think it would be
a mistake to trust her, actually. The best advice I can give is to go to the
party and show what a Christian spirit is like.


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## fire_vogel

i hope that things went well for you.


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## mrs.tinsley

I agree, with draconis.. if you really believe God placed your husband in a situation, you need to trust and rely on Him to get you through this. trust your husband. Have you tried having a mature adult convo with the mother? Understand that it was not the boy's fault how he was bore. I think you need a change of attitude toward him. Just because he was bore by another woman, he IS your husband's son. perhaps you should see him in this light instead of "the boy is his ****ty, liar, cheater, etc's son" you know? Purpose in your heart to give the boy a chance. 

As for the mother, if she insists upon continuing the lies and being a pain in your booty.. I suggest casting your cares upon Him. Let Him deal with her deceit and stop worrying. That is why He died. So we could come to Him and get relief and peace. 

God Bless hun..


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## clara

Put your trust in God. He can and will heal all your anger toward this women. You don't have to like her, but the Lord can calm your spirit and give you some kind of peace in dealing with her. Pray for healing and listen for his answer.


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## Honey

Go and trust your husband and God.


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## dcrim

I skimmed this thread -- why a CHRISTIAN response only??? 

Do you think christians have the lock on how to live life? This strikes me as the height of arrogance (and religious intolerance)! 

Just post a query and see what you get back. Some of it will be usefull, some not. Take what you can from whomever offers it.


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## draconis

We get christian only request sometimes, we also get women only too. SOmetimes it is a certian perspective people want.

draconis


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## GAsoccerman

I agree with mommy and Drac..
This person has deep faith in her religion and is using that perspective, we should respect her wish.

I wish her the best of luck


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## dcrim

Ok, I apologize to all (and to the OP). I guess something just went BANG in my mind.  I didn't mean to offend.


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## Honey

I see a lot of respect here. Good job, guys ! :smthumbup:


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