# GF upset at kids - and now me - over something a couple of years old now



## Dread Pirate Roberts (May 22, 2012)

Strange Title, I know, but hopefully this will explain things. GF and I have been together for 7.5 years. Live together. I have 3 kids - oldest son who isn't part of this, and another son, 24, and a daughter, 23. GF has 2 daughters, 18 and just turned 21.

This all really started during COVID, 2 years ago, but they've never been close at all. 2 things happened. First is that my son is trans, and while he was transitioning my GFs oldest daughter said and posted some pretty bad things when they got into an argument. Then when COVID hit, the GFs kids, especially the oldest again, just refused to follow any of the distancing rules. She would go workout with her friends, drive to California to hike etc. My GF and her got into some heated arguments, but she just couldn't control her about it. So my kids really resented the oldest, and also my GF as well. There's never been any real resolution to this, and probably never will be, honestly. But my kids did make some amends with the GF, and they get along pretty well now.

So now, my daughter is in a eating disorder treatment facility. She's going to be discharged shortly, and while she is in PHP she's going to be staying with us sometime in the next couple of weeks. GF brings up the COVID experience again, saying she needs to be sure that she's not made the enemy again, needs some time to vent about her day without my daughter around, that she has to protect her relationship with her daughters, etc. I say, OK, I will help you out. Then at the end of the night she says, "I'm sorry I was so hard on you earlier, but you deserve it.". And that one pissed me off. I don't think I deserve anything in 2022 about this, and it's like it's never, ever going to end.

One of the criticisms that my kids about this whole ordeal is that my GF was always making herself out as the victim during all this. I told them I didn't think that's the case, but after this one I can't help but at least sort of agree.

Thanks for the opportunity to vent here. It's not something I want to get into with anyone in my family right now.

DPR


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## red oak (Oct 26, 2018)

Sounds like the GF chooses sides of adult children over her relationship.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Everyone in this post is an adult and should be treated that way.
If these two women can't get along and you feel like you have to bring the daughter into the house then you better start talking now about the ground rules to navigate the minefield.

Families have this drama, especially in today's highly polarized society. But it can be navigated with sensible strong leadership that everyone trusts.

If your GF is like my wife, she gets "passionate" about some things with my adult daughters and I sometimes have to talk her down before irrevocable damage is done.

But I always side with my wife. My children are adults, and they have lives.
They aren't allowed to blow up mine by not respecting my wishes.

Good luck OP.


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

Quite honestly, all the children are adults now and on reading your post I can`t see any benefits for you in this relationship.
Perhaps consider ending it and moving on, whereas you don`t have to deal with all this domestic drama any more.


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