# Sleeping in on Saturdays?



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

I'm interested in your feedback on this, as this is an argument my H has brought up about me several times.

During the week, I get up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for work, make my son breakfast, etc. On Saturdays, I enjoy sleeping in until 8:00, once in a while 9:00 if we don't have anything specific we have to do. My H gets up at 6:00 during the week also, and on Saturdays he's usually up by 7:00. When I get up at 8:00 on Saturdays, I like to sit in my bathrobe and sip on coffee for a while and read, etc. 

My H has said many times lately that he thinks that it is absurd of me to sleep in like that, and that I sit around "being lazy" once I'm up. He says that that's pure laziness and NOT normal. He says that "grown ups" don't do this and he can't understand why he even has to explain this to me. I don't understand what his big gripe is if we don't have any specific plans to do something. He brought it up in MC, but was mad that the counselor wouldn't "judge" which one of us was right. So...I'm interested in what all of you "grown ups" have to say. What do you do on weekends? Do you get up, shower, eat breakfast right away just like during the week? Do you start doing household chores right away? Does anyone else besides me value having quiet, non-rushed time on Saturday mornings?


----------



## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

A relaxing morning on your day off after working hard all week??? How absurd, shame on you.

Now get dressed and go shingle the roof, seal the driveway, paint the house and wash the cars.

Then take your shoes and socks, get in the kitchen and make him breakfast.


----------



## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

If there are no plans on Saturday a.m...... then it's none of his business how long you "laze" around. 

Just tell him "Let's agree to disagree on this one and let it go." Just because you are married doesn't mean you have to be matched on every thought. Especially inconsequential ones. 

I'd quit engaging about it... period.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I hate that. It's YOUR Saturday. 

I work too and I like to lounge on my day's off (mornings). So...whatever. Tell him to go do stuff then and leave you alone.

I was with a man like that before. Woke up early and hit the ground running...said I was lazy. Wtf. I didn't say he was neurotic.


----------



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Wow. I think it is absolutely normal to sleep in a little and start your day off in a relaxing manner. What is his argument, exactly? Except that it isn't "normal"? (He's taken a census)?

Just sounds like he's trying to bully you to be more like him...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

IMO, it should only be an issue when something it affects something specific. Is your son missing a class or club meeting due to your "sleeping in.?" Also by my standards, you're not sleeping that late by weekend standards.

Other than the hour that you wake up, has your hsuband made an issue about missing something; not getting some household project done?

I sometimes think that situations like yours are about control. I remember growing up I could be in the same room as my parents, other family members watching today. god forbid if I should crack a book, newspaper or magazine, I was accused of not being with the family...... even though everyone was watching TV at that moment.


----------



## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Saturdays are great for just chilling out and laying around if you have no plans. Nothing wrong with it at all. 

Next time he says its absurd for you to do that, tell him you're sorry he feels that way, and maybe if he slept in a little longer or chilled out some he wouldn't be so cranky.


----------



## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

What's sleeping in? 
We have a 2.5 year old and 1.5 year old. Those boys are like the wild wild west as soon as they wake up. 
I have no problem letting my wife sleep longer if I hear them up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I can't believe the counselor didn't stand up for you. Your husband is being a jerk. Does he really get up at 7:00 and immediately start working?


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Unless I am at my sister's house and getting ready for church (we have no vehicle of our own, and live to far for her to come get us then drive back to where she lives, to go to church), we sleep until 8 or 9am. I get up at 6am to get the kids off to school everyday. I'm up until 10-11pm everyday. So, yes, I sleep in on the weekends. And, unless I am going anywhere, I sit in my nightgown (more like a lounger, really) all day. It doesn't make you, me, or anyone lazy... you deserve a day to relax. And frankly, knowing your history regarding your husband... where does he get off telling you that you are lazy, and not doing "adult" things?


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Even God rested on the 7th day. lol.


----------



## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

8:38 am. I'm still in my jammies... H taking kids to get hair cut. Yep, I'm lazy and proud of it


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

I get up at 5am to go running, so your H is sleeping in as far as I am concerned the lazy butt 

Seriously though, I get up early weekdays and weekends early to exercise before getting ready for work as my choice. You get up on the weekends because you are being responsible. He is getting up on the weekdays because of his responsibilities. He is also getting up early on the weekends as his choice. It is a personal choice. 

Somewhere along the way he has to be able to differentiate responsibilities from choices made. And, as long as those choices are not negatively affecting your responsibilities, he needs to let it go. He also needs to learn to pick his battles. This sounds like something not worth getting upset about. Geez.


----------



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

What he does when he gets up: makes coffee for us, takes his pills, feeds the cats. Sits down with his coffee to study (he's taking an online course). An hour or two later, I get up, take pills, check on the cats, grab my coffee, sit down with my iPad and goof around on TAM, play games, check Facebook. By 9:30-10:00, I start making breakfast and getting our son up (which is another whole issue- that I don't care if our 15 year old sleeps til 9-10 on weekends). By the time we finish eating and clean up, it could be going on noon. By then, my H thinks the "day is shot" now. He wants us to have a more routine schedule where we all get up by 7:00, eat breakfast right away (because eating at 10:00 throws off lunch schedule), do chores around the house, then by noon we're eating lunch and we have the rest of the day to "have fun". It's not like he's scurrying around doing chores or going places when he gets up. But he says because I laze around and we don't even get our day started til late, he has no idea how to plan his day or what to do, so he also does nothing except read. Yes...I know...it makes no sense to me either.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He's way off base on that one.


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Waking, I'm like you. On the weekends I like to sleep in then wake up, relax, sip my coffee and read. I've never been a morning person. In fact I would still be in bed now, (it's 8:45 here) but I had to drop off my daughter at soccer practice. My husband is still in bed. So anyway it's normal for us to sleep in in the weekends. 

I agree with the other poster that you should tell your husband that you agree to disagree and not bring it up anymore.


----------



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

SadSamIAm said:


> I can't believe the counselor didn't stand up for you. Your husband is being a jerk. Does he really get up at 7:00 and immediately start working?


The MC was trying to get my H to see that this is not a black and white issue, that surely there could be some compromise if we could talk through the reasons it bothers him so much. He did stand up for me in the sense that he didn't validate my H's insistence that he is right and I'm wrong. All the while, I'm sitting there thinking, wow, if it's that important to you to pay a MC to discuss, everybody should have your problems.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> I'm interested in your feedback on this, as this is an argument my H has brought up about me several times.
> 
> During the week, I get up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for work, make my son breakfast, etc. On Saturdays, I enjoy sleeping in until 8:00, once in a while 9:00 if we don't have anything specific we have to do. *My H gets up at 6:00 during the week also, and on Saturdays he's usually up by 7:00.*I was like this except I was up at anywhere between 3 and 5 am depending on shift. I got tired earlier in the evening because of the hours. My ex did not. I would go to bed earlier than her or not want to stay out or up as late as she did. Just my hours and make up, I think.. *When I get up at 8:00 on Saturdays, I like to sit in my bathrobe and sip on coffee for a while and read, etc. *I was up and ready to do something with my ex so I wanted to get moving and do something fun with her instead of wasting the day. I think the 'man with no name' said, "We're burnin' daylight." LOL
> 
> *My H has said many times lately that he thinks that it is absurd of me to sleep in like that, and that I sit around "being lazy" once I'm up. He says that that's pure laziness and NOT normal. He says that "grown ups" don't do this and he can't understand why he even has to explain this to me.*Everyone is different. *There's no official rules, just preferences. I don't understand what his big gripe is if we don't have any specific plans to do something.*He loves you, wants to be with you and have fun with you? He's being overbearing, selfish and I personally think somewhat codependent. I'm no expert, though. That's just from what I know about myself and the limited amount of info available in this post, so take that with a grain of salt, please. He brought it up in MC, but was mad that the counselor wouldn't "judge" which one of us was right. So...I'm interested in what all of you "grown ups" have to say. What do you do on weekends?* Do you get up, shower, eat breakfast right away just like during the week?*I did, but it was too demanding and oppressive for my ex. I don't think she understood how much I wanted to spend my weekend free time doing something, anything with her. Remember, I stated how my day was moved earlier and I got tired early in the evening? *Do you start doing household chores right away?* I doubt that's what he is thinking. I've been wrong before, though. LOL*Does anyone else besides me value having quiet, non-rushed time on Saturday mornings?*I actually placed a much higher value on spending my time with my ex than being alone.


Everyone is different. You aren't doing anything "wrong". I still think I would look into some codependency issues. Hope it doesn't rip your marriage apart.


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Your body and mind need that one day. Tell him to mind his own business.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It's about control. Something in him won't let him relax and if you are, then he feels like he should but can't.

Maybe. I duno. Just a theory.


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

oh dear, this remind me of growing up....... I could remind my parents some commitment that I made and had them agree to earlier in the month / week.... Girl Scouts, Jack & Jill, something connected with school....... at the last minute they would tell me that I needed to clean up the kitchen (I was the the third child at home) or to vacuum the carpet in the house ..... my mother liked the nap up and never thought for a moment that with 8 people sharing the house that the nap could be stepped on by someone else......

so is your husband getting you out of bed just for nothing. You could be sipping your coffee wondering what the big deal is and what's next...... while he tells you about some commitment he made at the last minute. Let's hope he doesn't get upset when you're reading the newspaper / surfing the net

Maybe it's better as a an adult..... I assume you have your own car (something that teenagers stuck in the desert of suburbia don't have........)


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> What he does when he gets up: makes coffee for us, takes his pills, feeds the cats. Sits down with his coffee to study (he's taking an online course). An hour or two later, I get up, take pills, check on the cats, grab my coffee, sit down with my iPad and goof around on TAM, play games, check Facebook. By 9:30-10:00, I start making breakfast and getting our son up (which is another whole issue- that I don't care if our 15 year old sleeps til 9-10 on weekends). By the time we finish eating and clean up, it could be going on noon. By then, my H thinks the "day is shot" now. He wants us to have a more routine schedule where we all get up by 7:00, eat breakfast right away (because eating at 10:00 throws off lunch schedule), do chores around the house, then by noon we're eating lunch and we have the rest of the day to "have fun". It's not like he's scurrying around doing chores or going places when he gets up. But he says because I laze around and we don't even get our day started til late, he has no idea how to plan his day or what to do, so he also does nothing except read. Yes...I know...it makes no sense to me either.


Wow! Your Saturday, based SOLELY on what you just posted, is WAY busier than mine, already! He doesn't know how to plan his day... unless you get up at the same time? Ok, I'm at a loss on that one... How does he plan his days during the week? Do you structure every detail for him, or does he do things for himself??


----------



## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Sounds kind of like projection to me. He is projecting onto you how he really feels about himself. He sleeps in till 7 instead of 6 on weekends, then he gets to doing work. Well he needs to understand that not everyone is like him or going to do the things he does, the way he does. It almost comes across as a jealousy issue as well. Meaning, he does all this stuff, while you chose to relax. Maybe its not the fact he is mad that you laze around, maybe he is mad at himself because he feels he can't.


----------



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Wow! Your Saturday, based SOLELY on what you just posted, is WAY busier than mine, already! He doesn't know how to plan his day... unless you get up at the same time? Ok, I'm at a loss on that one... How does he plan his days during the week? Do you structure every detail for him, or does he do things for himself??


He is more along the lines of 2ntnuf. He wants to spend every waking second with me on our weekends. So he won't do ANYTHING by himself. If he needs to go to the hardware store, "we" have to go. If I have to get groceries, "we" have to go. It is unthinkable for him that we would plan and do things separately. He says he'd "feel bad" if he got up early and decided to go in town to run an errand alone, because we could both go, or all 3 of us go, and have family time. 

I said sometimes when he asks what we should do that day for fun family time and then dumps it in my lap to figure out something we can do, I feel pressured. Should we really have to try so hard to think of what to do together for fun? I pointed out to him that sometimes there just ISN'T anything to do, especially in the winter time. And I get bored with going to a movie and eating dinner, or going to the grocery store and eating lunch, or...well that's about all we ever do, just for the sake of doing it. He can't bowl, it hurts his joints. He can't/won't do anything athletic. He won't golf with us because hit hurts his back. He won't swim because he's embarrassed about his body. We don't really have any close friends to hang out with. I honestly don't know what to do for "fun family time". I told him we must be the most boring people ever.


----------



## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Plenty of women would be jealous that you have a man who wants to spend all his time with you. 
He has to get a little more independent. Have him join a gym. Get out more maybe with just him and his son. Is there a YMCA nearby?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

Your husband sounds like a nightmare. My ex was a little similar in that if he decided it was a day to get busy then I had to be busy too otherwise he would huff and puff. If he wanted to lay around in his pants all day then I was able to do what I wanted. God I never realised just how controlling he was!

A couple of hours extra sleep on a saturday is perfectly reasonable, he's being a d*ck


----------



## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

tell him to take off and start doing things outside and around the house that need to be done.
that way, he wont be around, and you actually relaxing wont bother him. because he will be too busy to notice.
unbelievable, some people.


----------



## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Maybe some OCD going on on his part? He sounds a little to enmeshed with you. Which is not healthy. He needs to go out meet people, do some hobbies, get involved in other things. Maybe the right therapist can help him learn to relax and be more independent.


----------



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Waking up to life said:


> He brought it up in MC, but was mad that the counselor wouldn't "judge" which one of us was right.


An awful lot of people misunderstand MC, and think it's supposed to be like the Judge Judy show, where someone in authority decides who is right and who is wrong. They aren't there to do that. They are there to help improve communication between couples and find solutions you can live with. 

I think the bigger issue here is that he can't do anything without you both together, and that's something I suggest you bring up in MC, if you haven't already.


----------



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

richie33 said:


> Plenty of women would be jealous that you have a man who wants to spend all his time with you.
> He has to get a little more independent. Have him join a gym. Get out more maybe with just him and his son. Is there a YMCA nearby?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I realize that many women have the opposite problem. But nonetheless, his unwillingness to do anything without me or let me do anything without him is suffocating. If I try to say I'd like to go do something by myself, he gets hurt and rejected. I could try to suggest that he do an activity alone or with our son, and I have before, but he can't understand why I would choose not to come along. He believes that on the weekends, we should make use of every opportunity to do things together, and choosing to do things independently is being selfish and robbing the family of "family time".


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

richie33 said:


> Plenty of women would be jealous that you have a man who wants to spend all his time with you.
> He has to get a little more independent. Have him join a gym. Get out more maybe with just him and his son. Is there a YMCA nearby?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree: to some extent, but he is definitely codependent. He needs to find his own interests or he will definitely suffocate your love. The thing is, everyone is different. Some women like more attention and some like less. So you and he will have to balance that while he is working on his codependency.

Edit: The question is, do you have enough love to allow him to work on himself while you both work on that balance? It's not easy, but could be very rewarding. Is it worth the effort to you?


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Waking, you had better get him used to doing things on his own somehow. From all of your posts, you are stating that you are about to divorce him so, he needs to pull up his big boy panties.


----------



## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

> He says that that's pure laziness and NOT normal. He says that "grown ups" don't do this and he can't understand why he even has to explain this to me.


GROWN ups dont tell their spouse how to conduct an hour or two on a saturday unless they think they are the "parent" which to that I would say,.go **** uc*** yo****elfl..


----------



## walkingwounded (May 7, 2011)

I am gonna chime in here, though slightly different circumstances...

My H sleeps in a LOT. And it drives me crazy. It has been an on going issue. If left he can sleep up to 1 or 2pm in the afternoon. We have 3 kids and it impedes on family time. We are busy in the week and often we barely get to conversate after the kids are all asleep before I need to go to bed myself. So I really look forward to the weekends as an opportunity I guess to reconnect with him, to spend family time together or even just us two if we are lucky and can get a sitter.

He does not prioritize in the same way at all. He could not give a flying fvck whether we do anything or spend any time together. To me, our time together is precious and it has upset me in the past that he does not value our time the same as me, but I figured out a while ago that me stressing over it was pointless. So I go out and do my own thing or take the kids out. Suddenly he is all over me. Go figure.


----------



## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

Out of his mind, sheltered and needs medication


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Waking up to life said:


> I'm interested in your feedback on this, as this is an argument my H has brought up about me several times.
> 
> During the week, I get up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for work, make my son breakfast, etc. On Saturdays, I enjoy sleeping in until 8:00, once in a while 9:00 if we don't have anything specific we have to do. My H gets up at 6:00 during the week also, and on Saturdays he's usually up by 7:00. When I get up at 8:00 on Saturdays, I like to sit in my bathrobe and sip on coffee for a while and read, etc.
> 
> My H has said many times lately that he thinks that it is absurd of me to sleep in like that, and that I sit around "being lazy" once I'm up. He says that that's pure laziness and NOT normal. He says that "grown ups" don't do this and he can't understand why he even has to explain this to me


:wtf: Your husband is an idiot. Sleeping to 8 am is "sleeping in?" :scratchhead: And then you want to relax on your day off and enjoy your breakfast and read a bit? Holy crap! Tell him to take someplace else. He's being totally unreasonable. 

I get up at 8 am for WORK. I sleep 'til 10 or 11 am when I'm off. 

It sounds like your husband has some SERIOUS issues and needs therapy and medication aside from your MC. I personally couldn't live with someone like him.


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

We relax on Saturdays. Especially in the morning! I get up very early every day since I can not lay down for long periods of time. Today I've been up since 3am. I did start my day early and biked at 6am because we planned to take the kids to the movies this afternoon.

Most Saturdays I sit on the couch, drink my coffee and enjoy the silence until the kids wake up around 9am. Hubby sleeps until whenever, it really varies. Most Saturdays hubby and I don't start our day until 10-11pm or maybe noon. We just hang out with the kids. We do make breakfast though. My kids get a hot breakfast 99% of the time. They don't like cereal. Mon-fri I start my day at 5:30am when my middle child wakes up for school.

Neither my husband nor I give orders to each other ever. We both are adults and do what we want, when we want. I don't work, but I still get the basic cleaning done on the weekends or it will really pile up into a big mess. I really like my house picked up and clean.

If my husband or I ever wanted to sleep in we'd respect each other in doing so. This means keeping the kids voices down until everyone is up. Nothing is set in stone of what needs to be done.


----------



## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> I'm interested in your feedback on this, as this is an argument my H has brought up about me several times.
> 
> During the week, I get up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for work, make my son breakfast, etc. On Saturdays, I enjoy sleeping in until 8:00, once in a while 9:00 if we don't have anything specific we have to do. My H gets up at 6:00 during the week also, and on Saturdays he's usually up by 7:00. When I get up at 8:00 on Saturdays, I like to sit in my bathrobe and sip on coffee for a while and read, etc.
> 
> My H has said many times lately that he thinks that it is absurd of me to sleep in like that, and that I sit around "being lazy" once I'm up. He says that that's pure laziness and NOT normal. He says that "grown ups" don't do this and he can't understand why he even has to explain this to me. I don't understand what his big gripe is if we don't have any specific plans to do something. He brought it up in MC, but was mad that the counselor wouldn't "judge" which one of us was right. So...I'm interested in what all of you "grown ups" have to say. What do you do on weekends? Do you get up, shower, eat breakfast right away just like during the week? Do you start doing household chores right away? Does anyone else besides me value having quiet, non-rushed time on Saturday mornings?


It's your time after a hard week of doing what others expect of you. I see NOTHING wrong with relaxing with a cup of coffee while in your robe on Saturday, Sunday mornings and whatever other day you happen to be off. Maybe he's a type "A" and you have a mixture of types - you know best. But for someone else, an adult, to criticize another for not being an "adult" because they want to relax a little?? Truthfully I'd tell him to sod off.


----------



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

If HE was up and around fixing breakfast, running the vacuum, doing laundry at 7 am, yeah, I might feel a teeny bit guilty sleeping until 8 or 9 and sitting around drinking coffee for an hour or two. But he's not. HE is also sitting around, drinking coffee, and presumably studying (could also be on Facebook for all I know, since it's all in his laptop). 

I asked him what it would change if I got up at 7, showered, fixed breakfast right away...so then it's maybe 9 am and now what?? Take a nap? Watch TV? Goof off on iPad? Agonize over the fact that there is now MORE time in our day that we have to invent things to do that satisfies him as having spent enough "family time"? It wouldn't change anything. It's completely illogical. 

A side note that I tried to bring up before but falls on deaf ears: I have a sleep disorder...a mild form of narcolepsy. It used to be MUCH worse when I was a teen and in my early 20s. Then I got diagnosed and treated with medication. It has changed my life. The medication helps me to feel actually awake during the day, instead of a total zombie constantly feeling desperate to take a nap. At night I sleep like a log...I never hear the loud thunderstorms that wake everyone else up. But my disorder does disrupt my restful stages of sleep according to the sleep study, even though I don't wake up during the night. So I never wake up feeling refreshed and ready to wake up. I have to FORCE myself to get up, no matter how long I've slept. So...catching an extra hour or two on the weekends is so heavenly for me. My H doesn't buy any of this for one minute. He thinks it's my fault for not sticking to a military strict sleep schedule.


----------



## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> A side note that I tried to bring up before but falls on deaf ears: I have a sleep disorder...a mild form of narcolepsy. It used to be MUCH worse when I was a teen and in my early 20s. Then I got diagnosed and treated with medication. It has changed my life. The medication helps me to feel actually awake during the day, instead of a total zombie constantly feeling desperate to take a nap. At night I sleep like a log...I never hear the loud thunderstorms that wake everyone else up. But my disorder does disrupt my restful stages of sleep according to the sleep study, even though I don't wake up during the night. So I never wake up feeling refreshed and ready to wake up. I have to FORCE myself to get up, no matter how long I've slept. So...catching an extra hour or two on the weekends is so heavenly for me. My H doesn't buy any of this for one minute. He thinks it's my fault for not sticking to a military strict sleep schedule.


Wtf?? He doesn't believe that you have a diagnosed disorder? So he was/is in the military or just acts like he is? One more question - how do you put up with someone who doesn't believe you?

Lastly - I hope he is not getting on your teenager's case for sleeping in. Teenagers need a lot more sleep than adults do and usually make up that time on the weekends (since they have so much going on during the week).


----------



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Here's another suggestion that might help kill two birds with one stone. You say you struggle with finding family things to do during the day. How about the evening instead? Friday nights go out on a date with your husband, stay up late drinking, dancing, movies, Casino, strip club, or whatever. If he is up late on Friday night then he's much less likely to want to get up early Saturday morning.


----------



## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Y'all will probably judge me, but..

Hubby & I will often just lay around in bed 'till after noon, if we don't have plans on saturday or sunday. Often we wake early & take our meds, etc, .. .but doze back on & off while watching & zoning out with the boob tube.


----------



## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

Chelle D said:


> Y'all will probably judge me, but..
> 
> Hubby & I will often just lay around in bed 'till after noon, if we don't have plans on saturday or sunday. Often we wake early & take our meds, etc, .. .but doze back on & off while watching & zoning out with the boob tube.


i could make it till at least 9:30 or 10 if i didnt have two monsters running loose in the house hahah
no way i can stay in bed too late it just isnt in my constitution.
"too much to do" and all that


----------



## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

used to get up earlier on Saturdays.. & go do stuff... when kid was younger. (He's 19 now.)

I mean we don't sleep in EVERY saturday... but we don't make a habit of getting up early just for the hay of it.


----------



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

in my tree said:


> Wtf?? He doesn't believe that you have a diagnosed disorder? So he was/is in the military or just acts like he is? One more question - how do you put up with someone who doesn't believe you?
> 
> Lastly - I hope he is not getting on your teenager's case for sleeping in. Teenagers need a lot more sleep than adults do and usually make up that time on the weekends (since they have so much going on during the week).


He (reluctantly) acknowledges the sleep disorder, but minimizes it by saying I "use it as an excuse to be lazy". He doesn't buy into my "excuse" of needing a couple of extra hours of sleep on weekends because of my sleep disorder...he thinks I could control it better if I chose to stick to a more strict sleep schedule (good to know I'm married to a sleep specialist huh?) 

No he was never in the military. He's not even strict in the military sense. It's more about him finding opportunities to criticize/control me.

Edit: yes in fact he IS on our son's case about sleeping in too. Another thing he complained about at MC. He thinks I'm a lazy parent by letting our son sleep in on weekends. H thinks it's against every bit of common sense to not force a kid to stick to routine sleep schedule. Admittedly, we do let him stay up later on weekend nights. H thinks son shouldn't be allowed to sleep later than 7 even if we have nothing to do. I let him sleep til 9 or 10, sometimes 11. I figure if he needs to sleep, he needs to sleep. But according to H, I'm a neglectful mom for even thinking this is acceptable.


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I have to drag my child out of bed, she would sleep all day if she could. Teenagers need sleep!

I get up at 6am every week day and 7.30am on a Sunday to swim and I'm damned if anyone will tell me I can't lay in on a Saturday!


----------



## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

Waking up to life said:


> I'm interested in your feedback on this, as this is an argument my H has brought up about me several times.
> 
> During the week, I get up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for work, make my son breakfast, etc. On Saturdays, I enjoy sleeping in until 8:00, once in a while 9:00 if we don't have anything specific we have to do. My H gets up at 6:00 during the week also, and on Saturdays he's usually up by 7:00. When I get up at 8:00 on Saturdays, I like to sit in my bathrobe and sip on coffee for a while and read, etc.
> 
> My H has said many times lately that he thinks that it is absurd of me to sleep in like that, and that I sit around "being lazy" once I'm up. He says that that's pure laziness and NOT normal. He says that "grown ups" don't do this and he can't understand why he even has to explain this to me. I don't understand what his big gripe is if we don't have any specific plans to do something. He brought it up in MC, but was mad that the counselor wouldn't "judge" which one of us was right. So...I'm interested in what all of you "grown ups" have to say. What do you do on weekends? Do you get up, shower, eat breakfast right away just like during the week? Do you start doing household chores right away? Does anyone else besides me value having quiet, non-rushed time on Saturday mornings?


I apologize for not reading everyone else's comments. I read the OP had just had to laugh. Sleeping in until 9! That's hilarious. If we have nothing going on sometimes we sleep in until noon. We are, of course, terrible night people, even if I have to get up at 6:15, and her at 7:40 during the week. That doesn't stop us from being up until anywhere between midnight and 2am.


----------



## catfan (Jan 12, 2013)

OMG I feel like such a lame person now! I love to sleep in, have breakfast in bed, play some games on my tablet and take it easy... I must be no good? No, I think you deserve to do whatever you want on a day off. If his 'clock' works otherwise, good for him, but it's your free time. Of course you can set up plans for the weekend, but both parties have a say in it, not only him.


----------



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

I appreciate everyone's input. I guess you all shot down his statement that "every other adult in the world" agrees with him. It comes down to a basic underlying disrespect that the has for me as an adult who can make her own decisions. It's hurtful because I am a self-motivated, hard working and responsible person, but having these arguments makes me feel like he thinks I'm an incompetent child.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Waking up to life said:


> I appreciate everyone's input. I guess you all shot down his statement that "every other adult in the world" agrees with him. It comes down to a basic underlying disrespect that the has for me as an adult who can make her own decisions. It's hurtful because I am a self-motivated, hard working and responsible person, but having these arguments makes me feel like he thinks I'm an incompetent child.


He's the one with problems. Not you.


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

This Saturday my wife and I slept in until 9:30. We showered together and then went back to bed for some sex.

Then we went to lunch. We came home and I took a nap. I have been working extreme hours for two months straight so this was my first Saturday off in a while.

Now I am all for a couple getting up early and spending the day together or otherwise doing family things. However sometimes I just have to re-energize and that may mean sleeping in on the weekends. Also for what it is worth I am NOT a morning person. But I do love lazy weekend morning where I relax and have coffee. Sometimes though I am off to the GYM. I go with the flow.


----------



## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> He (reluctantly) acknowledges the sleep disorder, but minimizes it by saying I "use it as an excuse to be lazy". *He doesn't buy into my "excuse" of needing a couple of extra hours of sleep on weekends because of my sleep disorder*...he thinks I could control it better if I chose to stick to a more strict sleep schedule (good to know I'm married to a sleep specialist huh?)
> 
> No he was never in the military. He's not even strict in the military sense. *It's more about him finding opportunities to criticize/control me.*
> 
> Edit: yes in fact he IS on our son's case about sleeping in too. Another thing he complained about at MC. He thinks I'm a lazy parent by letting our son sleep in on weekends. H thinks it's against every bit of common sense to not force a kid to stick to routine sleep schedule. Admittedly, we do let him stay up later on weekend nights. *H thinks son shouldn't be allowed to sleep later than 7 even if we have nothing to do.* I let him sleep til 9 or 10, sometimes 11. I figure if he needs to sleep, he needs to sleep. But according to H, I'm a neglectful mom for even thinking this is acceptable.


It sounds like he wants to control everyone in the house! Like you said earlier, you are an adult. Just because you are married does not mean that he now has or should have full control over what you do. And him calling you lazy and/or neglectful is just plain wrong. Please don't stand for it. it's bad for you and a bad example for your son.

Btw - teenagers need 9.5 hours of sleep a night. Yes, if they can stick to similar hours during the week and weekend it is better but we all know how the weekends go. 
How Much Sleep Does Your Teen Need?


----------



## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Sounds like husband is trying to control you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping in on Sat and sitting around in your robe. What does he want? For you to slave over a hot stove and clean the hosue and be all pretty 24/7?


----------



## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

You are absolutely normal. You work hard all week and are entitled to a couple hours Saturday morning to relax. Your hubby needs to lighten up. He sounds like a type A personality. Type A's have more health problems and heart attacks. Taking some time to yourself once in a while is vital to your mental health and staying healthy.


----------



## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

My wife and I are both "grown ups" but we're also adults who are married and have no kids, and so the beauty of not having any is that you get to sleep in every weekend and so we both sleep until about 10:00 to 10:30am every Saturday & Sunday. The only time I don't is when I get up to go play golf with my buddy about once a month if I can.


----------



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Him calling you lazy and other names is verbally abusive. 

My ex h on a daily basis called me a worthless b*tch. This was after working an 8-12 hour day, picking up the baby after daycare, trying to fix dinner and cleaning up the entire home. My ex would never lift a finger to help. He barely worked part time(if that). He'd spend his days at home sleeping or hanging out with friends or other women. He literally treated me like a slave. This didn't last long. I ended up leaving and he was begging and pleading for me to come back. There is no way I'd stay living like that.

Name calling of any sorts is disrespectful and uncalled for.


----------



## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Waking up to life said:


> I'm interested in your feedback on this, as this is an argument my H has brought up about me several times.
> 
> During the week, I get up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for work, make my son breakfast, etc. On Saturdays, I enjoy sleeping in until 8:00, once in a while 9:00 if we don't have anything specific we have to do. My H gets up at 6:00 during the week also, and on Saturdays he's usually up by 7:00. When I get up at 8:00 on Saturdays, I like to sit in my bathrobe and sip on coffee for a while and read, etc.
> 
> My H has said many times lately that he thinks that it is absurd of me to sleep in like that, and that I sit around "being lazy" once I'm up. He says that that's pure laziness and NOT normal. He says that "grown ups" don't do this and he can't understand why he even has to explain this to me. I don't understand what his big gripe is if we don't have any specific plans to do something. He brought it up in MC, but was mad that the counselor wouldn't "judge" which one of us was right. So...I'm interested in what all of you "grown ups" have to say. What do you do on weekends? Do you get up, shower, eat breakfast right away just like during the week? Do you start doing household chores right away? Does anyone else besides me value having quiet, non-rushed time on Saturday mornings?


You do not have any issues with doing this... it is perfectly normal. Now my wife on the other hand is out of control. She is in the bed from 8pm on Friday till 7am on Monday morning! Every weekend! She has a screw loose.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

He is not the boss of you, you are!


----------



## Anathon (Mar 10, 2013)

Wife and I can spend a Sat in bed and watch our tv shows for hours. It may not look productive but it is our time. I also think it is productive to have our time....keeps us happy.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Lot's of anger in this thread. I think the only issue is he is codependent. All the rest of the nasty stuff is due to this. Bitterness doesn't help. Counseling and/or a good book with determination and vigilance would be the best solution if you want to stay in the marriage. If you want to leave, then leave. Complaining won't help him to get better. He has to want to do it. You can be there to help or you can remove yourself from the relationship. Sorry so harsh.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Everyone is perfectly entitled to sleep in on weekends! Based on all your other posts, I dont think your husband is seeking "family time", but has to have you with him all the time because you are his crutch.


----------



## studley (Oct 19, 2011)

Waking up to life said:


> During the week, I get up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for work, On Saturdays, I enjoy sleeping in until 8:00, once in a while 9:00


Same here. ALso on Sundays. Both the wife and I like our alone quiet time and never complain about the other being lazy.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

When I was working I stayed in bed all morning on a Saturday (napping, reading - just enjoying the comfort of my bed), materializing around noon to cook a brunch.

Your H is obviously one of those people who doesn't like sleeping late, but he can hardly call you lazy for grabbing a few extra zzzzs on one of your days off.


----------



## damiana879 (Aug 26, 2011)

Actually, I am in a similar situation with my H. I get up at around 6am on the weekdays to make sure my daughter is up and getting ready to get out the door at 6:15, then I get my son up and get him ready, then I'm out the door by no later than about 6:30 - 6:45am. I work 7-3, come home, usually my daughter is home but my son is not home from school yet, so I get chores done, by that time, he's usually strolling in the door, now keep in mind, hubby is home all day long, and his schedule goes along the lines of about 12:30pm - 3:30am, except weekends for some reason he wants to be up early for some reason..probably to annoy me...but even though he is home, I come home to a dirty house (he claims that since he stays to himself and doesn't make the mess he shouldn't have to clean it), I still have to cook dinner, make sure the kids have their homework done, see how their school went, get the kids to help me clean up the house, make sure they get their bath, clean up after I cook dinner, because I can't just make my daughter clean up after dinner every night, it's not fair, try to fit in study time with my son especially because he's not as advanced as some of the kids in his class, then try to pay attention to the husband because God forbid I leave him out during all of this, so I told him I would really like to be able to sleep in on Saturday, not all day, but at least until about 10 - 11. Of course he is the same way "We're wasting the day away if you sleep past the crack of dawn.." and FORGET Sundays...I have to be up at 8:30 at the latest, getting the kids up and ready for church, getting him out of bed, trying to get HIM out of bed to go to church and have a good Sunday..if I don't do that, I'm the root of all evil, and I'm a bad mom, a bad wife, and a b****. If I don't get up on Sunday mornings, the devil has hold of me (or so he says). 

It's ridiculous and stupid, it's their petty form of control. It's the "If I can't have what I want, you're going to suffer and I'm going to make sure I'm judge, jury, and executioner because I want YOU to adhere to MY schedule, and if I say waking up after 8 is being lazy, then you're a lazy b*** who can't keep her sh** straight, can't even be a good mom because you let your kids sleep in, can't be a good wife because you can't get me motivated to get up in the morning..." see where this is going? Sorry, I'm probably going WAY off here, but it's what happens to me, I hate to see someone else having to deal with that BS too...


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

damiana879 said:


> It's ridiculous and stupid, it's their petty form of control. It's the "If I can't have what I want, you're going to suffer and I'm going to make sure I'm judge, jury, and executioner because I want YOU to adhere to MY schedule, and if I say waking up after 8 is being lazy, then you're a lazy b*** who can't keep her sh** straight, can't even be a good mom because you let your kids sleep in, can't be a good wife because you can't get me motivated to get up in the morning..." see where this is going? Sorry, I'm probably going WAY off here, but it's what happens to me, I hate to see someone else having to deal with that BS too...


Damiana, you need to tell him to sit down and shut up! If he EVER bothers to contribute to your household, then MAYBE you can give his opinion some consideration!  

(yes I read your VS thread!!)


----------



## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

It's funny, I was thinking about this the other day. I live by myself in a 3 bedroom house and I'm hardly there during the week. I was thinking about bringing in a roommate long enough to pay off my car earlier. But my first thought was -- NO WAY. I want to be able to stay in my PJ's on my day's off without feeling guilty or judged! 

This past Saturday I woke up at 6am (internal clock), took a shower and put on a fresh pair of jammies so I could go back to sleep. I was in them until 5pm when it was time to meet a few friends for dinner. 

A part of the reason why I do this is because I was never allowed to sleep in as a kid. I always had to do something "productive". So now I'm making up for lost sleepy time. Oh, and I'll also eat cake batter because my mother never saved enough in the bowl. 

But you know, OP, it would be really nice if your husband just accepted your "me time". At the end of the day you can do what you want but I'm sure it would be a lot nicer not being made to feel guilty about it.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I well remember how exhausted I used to be before I even got to work, because of all the little before work chores of running a home and getting my child to school etc. I really needed that down time at least one morning over the weekend, and your H shouldn't object to you having a few hours extra kip on a Saturday morning.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Oh, I forgot to mention and just thought of this. My ex-wife had Sunday and Monday off every or nearly every week. She worked Saturday and I was off. I liked getting up early on Sunday and riding motorcycles with her to some not-so-planned destination, finding a nice restaurant, stopping for lunch or breakfast, then continuing on our way. I told her that I didn't care so much what she did with her time on Monday and she did what she wanted. The only part of this is she got up with me when I awoke for work. I told her she didn't need to do that, but she did it anyway. It was her choice. I did not require her to get up with me. I also need to say that I didn't care for going out riding later and coming back after dark. There is a much greater chance of hitting a deer crossing the road around twilight. Some may say that early in the morning is dangerous as well, but I knew it would take at least an hour and a half for her to get ready and so we would not be out on the roads until after the deer got back to where they were going to bed down for the day. I don't know if this makes a difference. Just thought I would share my experiences.


----------

