# Twelve rules for Guys Going thru, or Leaving D



## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Anyone who has read any of my posts have noticed, I quote pop often. I never called him dad after a certain time. I was also aware he was very wise. He never thought I listened, damn was he so wrong..... when it came to women, he was a savant. 

"Son if the girl drops her panties for you on the first date, she will for anyone. You are not special."

"Wiggle easy until your head is out of the lion's mouth."

"Want to see your sweet thing in twenty years, look at her mom."

"Women will use their snatch to sway you into doing things for them."

"You can have my wife if you can take over payments."

"Large breasted women can drop out of school in the tenth grade."

"When a g/f is complaining and for a second, she sounds like your momma, probably a keeper."

"If your new g/f is great in bed, how do you think she got that way?"

"When a girl tells you she wants time and space, hug her and leave. Say nothing. That will make her arse tighten up like a snare drum."

"Every woman is a wh0re but your momma"

"When it's over....it's over. Doesn't matter if she sells or gives it away on a street corner. It's over."

"When she tells you you're the best, she never reveals the rest."


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## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

Are we brothers ?, My Pops had said the same thing to me when i was young. I wish i had listen to him then.


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## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

As I shall tell the same things to my son. Hoping and praying that he will listen.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Some women are good in bed because they like sex, it doesn't mean they've had a lot of partners.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My dad used to say that when a woman looks at you and the love in her eyes is gone, it's time to be moving on down the road. Of course I'm a woman but we were very close and he would share his thoughts with me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

indiecat said:


> Some women are good in bed because they like sex, it doesn't mean they've had a lot of partners.


it may or may not have been applied as such


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> My dad used to say that when a woman looks at you and the love in her eyes is gone, it's time to be moving on down the road. Of course I'm a woman but we were very close and he would share his thoughts with me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


your dad was wise

t/y for giving insight as a female


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## ReGroup (Dec 6, 2012)

My mother raised me and she said, "RG, never EVER fight for a woman."

She also said, "Forget what everyone says, we LOVE drama. We hate stability."


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

ReGroup said:


> She also said, "Forget what everyone says, we LOVE drama. We hate stability."


^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This is true for some and a BIG hint on their emotional intelligence and maturity. Watch for red flags.

When they cry while watching network TV dramas, when their favorite films are Dear John and the Notebook, you might want to assess her definitions of love, marriage and commitment.

Not stereotyping, just saying


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Chuck71 said:


> Anyone who has read any of my posts have noticed, I quote pop often. I never called him dad after a certain time. I was also aware he was very wise. He never thought I listened, damn was he so wrong..... when it came to women, he was a savant.
> 
> "Son if the girl drops her panties for you on the first date, she will for anyone. You are not special."
> 
> ...


Your pop is a misogynist.


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Forever Changed said:


> As I shall tell the same things to my son. Hoping and praying that he will listen.


Wonderful!! Contaminate the next generation. 

:smthumbup:


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Fenix said:


> Your pop is a misogynist.


I'm sure he would get a chuckle from that


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Pictureless said:


> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This is true for some and a BIG hint on their emotional intelligence and maturity. Watch for red flags.
> 
> When they cry while watching network TV dramas, when their favorite films are Dear John and the Notebook, you might want to assess her definitions of love, marriage and commitment.
> 
> Not stereotyping, just saying


For those who allow Hollywood to formulate their thoughts

maybe a precursor to misandry


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Chuck71 said:


> For those who allow Hollywood to formulate their thoughts
> 
> maybe a precursor to misandry


Misandry? Not with Scrooge. I had a thought today. Maybe her crappy family and her abortion at 17 has created her life long pattern of bad relationships.

Not my problem anymore


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Pictureless said:


> Misandry? Not with Scrooge. I had a thought today. Maybe her crappy family and her abortion at 17 has created her life long pattern of bad relationships.
> 
> Not my problem anymore


Maybe?


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

how did she present this to you and how old was she when you were told


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Conrad and Chuck-Nope, not my problem

She told me about it last year during our R after the first D-day. I always knew there was something in her past and you know what? I STILL don't think this is it.

She was 48 when she told me about it, it happened when she was 17 or 18. She said she couldn't tell her mother so it was a secret. She ended up marrying the guy and later went under the knife to get boob implants for him. How did he thank her? She claims he used her as a punching bag, which is the reason why she says they divorced.

It only took her 11 years to tell me.

My theory is that after going through all that and after he treated her that way, she has intimacy/trust issues. and guilt.

Hubby #2-she claims she wanted children. So they had them. Then she claims he changed and one day she woke up and guess what? she didn't love him anymore.

Hubby #3 (me)-she claims she loves him. He waits SEVEN YEARS to marry her and sees no red flags. They marry. Then she claims he changed and one day she woke up and guess what? she didn't love him anymore.

I'm not a doctor, but I see a pattern. Did I mention her entire family including one of her kids all having MH Diags and Rx?

I know now that I'm to blame for being so trusting. next time, trust but verify. I swear the full extent of her crazy was hidden from me and masked, and she always had a believable explanation-served with a smile. 

Next time I'll know what to look for and what to ask.


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Pictureless said:


> Conrad and Chuck-Nope, not my problem
> 
> She told me about it last year during our R after the first D-day. I always knew there was something in her past and you know what? I STILL don't think this is it.
> 
> ...


Hell, you were with her for 7 years before marriage. How is that overly trusting?


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Fenix said:


> Hell, you were with her for 7 years before marriage. How is that overly trusting?


Good point. We didn't live together. I didn't want to move in because of her kids-I didn't think that would be right.

And like I said, there was no talk of the crazy. Since she never mentioned any of these things, I thought there was nothing to worry about. 

The crazy was revealed after the marriage. But before then, what I liked, she liked. What I adored, she adored. Not one fight. Ever.

Yup, I got played, but I learned from it. That I don't regret!


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

Pictureless said:


> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This is true for some and a BIG hint on their emotional intelligence and maturity. Watch for red flags.
> 
> When they cry while watching network TV dramas, when their favorite films are Dear John and the Notebook, you might want to assess her definitions of love, marriage and commitment.
> 
> Not stereotyping, just saying


Speaking of red flags. 

Kristen Wiig - Saturday Night Live - Red Flag - YouTube


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Pictureless said:


> Good point. We didn't live together. I didn't want to move in because of her kids-I didn't think that would be right.
> 
> And like I said, there was no talk of the crazy. Since she never mentioned any of these things, I thought there was nothing to worry about.
> 
> ...


In general terms, if she isn't hot to live with you and it drags on for seven years... it's a red flag.

Been there - done that.


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Conrad said:


> In general terms, if she isn't hot to live with you and it drags on for seven years... it's a red flag.
> 
> Been there - done that.


I can see how some would believe that. That's okay; we just have a difference of opinion. 

I didn't and still don't believe that couples should live together before marriage. It's try it before you buy it. If you're living together, sharing the expenses and having sex, why get married? Why would a person want that?

Then there was her kids. I believed that it would look bad to them if me and their mother lived together before we were married. You know, she's good enough to bang, but not good enough to marry. That would make her look bad to them.

I know not everyone believes as I do and that's okay. I make no apologies for my values. I know I tried to do right but it didn't work out. It takes two to make a relationship work. I've learned so much from this.

I'm not a victim. She just used me. That's not difficult to do to anyone.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Pictureless said:


> I'm not a victim. She just used me. That's not difficult to do to anyone.


If they permit it.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

there are merits for and against living together before M

my youngest aunt got M right out of HS, 1969

my grandparents have had a chit fit if she moved in

thanks to society in this day and age, a couple getting M

right out of HS is looked down upon.....


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Conrad said:


> If they permit it.


Sometimes people exercise, eat right and don't smoke and they still get cancer. What's your answer to that? If they permit it?

My answer is sometimes bad things happen to good people and the reason why doesn't matter. Learn from it or let it destroy you.

I stated my theory a couple of posts back because I'm human and naturally curious about why. Any knowledge learned is helpful to avoid repeating mistakes in the future. But I also know why doesn't matter ultimately. Because I can't control other people. They make their own decisions. 

How many 180 stories here end with the relationship restored? Not many because by that point one person has already made their choice. 180 is for the abandoned/betrayed/rejected partner. And it's good for them. 

The partner leaving the relationship has made their choice already whether permitted or not.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

My answer is to eliminate victim speak.

We all die.

Contracting a malignant tumor due to a genetic accident is quite a bit different from laying down before your abuser.


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Conrad said:


> My answer is to eliminate victim speak.
> 
> We all die.
> 
> Contracting a malignant tumor due to a genetic accident is quite a bit different from laying down before your abuser.


I didn't lay down. The night before we argued about the same ole crap. I put my foot down. The next day was dday2 we were supposed to go out to dinner. I said no not until we discuss last night. She said she didn't want to discuss it. I said I don't want to be with you until we do. Hours later she called and dumped me. So at 8 am I love you, at 6 pm its over.

Nope, I didn't lay down.


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