# How long to heal?



## bpdcfan (Jan 27, 2016)

Wife and I went through a year separation after a short affair by me. Our marriage wasn't very healthy before. The affair really crushed my wife, and she's having trouble getting past it. I'm not pressuring her to do so, I want her to heal but at her own pace. Any women out there who've been through this - how much time went by after initial reconciliation before you felt better? It's hard on both of us, but I very much want for her to be happy and self-confident again.


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

during that year separation what kind of work together and apart did you do?


----------



## bpdcfan (Jan 27, 2016)

We were separated by a couple so we didn't do any counseling together. I did individual counseling and she told me she'd done some individual counseling also. We've been seeing a counselor together for the past 6 months.


----------



## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Typical WS thought process. "How long will it take to heal"? "Hurry up and get over it". She may never get over it, and no one (especially you) can make her. Perhaps she needs to date a few guys for awhile and then decide if she still wants you back! Then she can tell you to "just get over it". Good luck.


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

bpdcfan said:


> It's hard on both of us,.....


OP, I hope that you are smart enough to NEVER, EVER tell your wife that this is hard on you too.


----------

