# I find it strange....



## Baseballmom6 (Aug 15, 2012)

that my Ex has not asked for any photos/videos or our children taken the past 28 years. He was a wonderful Dad and loves his children so what's up with that? 

I even took it upon myself to fill an 8gig flash drive with pictures over a year ago. Told my Ex a year ago to remind me to give it to him the next time he came to his mothers (who lives next door). Hasn't even mentioned it although we have talked about other things. Are men just not that sentimental?


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Baseballmom6 said:


> that my Ex has not asked for any photos/videos or our children taken the past 28 years. He was a wonderful Dad and loves his children so what's up with that?
> 
> I even took it upon myself to fill an 8gig flash drive with pictures over a year ago. Told my Ex a year ago to remind me to give it to him the next time he came to his mothers (who lives next door). Hasn't even mentioned it although we have talked about other things. Are men just not that sentimental?


I'm a woman and not big into pictures. I live in the present and plan for the future. There are some people who don't like to add a metalayer to life by documenting it as they live it...and every time I look at a picture then I'm reminded of the times I looked at the picture before, as well as the picture itself. So, I keep a few photos of my kids when they were younger and enjoy them as they are now. 

It may be that my childhood was really messed up, and also after that people I was close to died in quick succession, leaving me on my own. I left the photographs in the dust. Most of them were staged by my so-called mother in order to give the family the appearance of whatever it was she wanted to give the appearance of...like we were the Kennedy family which is kinda funny because the Kennedy family was spin doctoring too. Looking at those photos would be too traumatic, because I remember how most of them were staged and the background behind them. And I think I sort of vowed, never again.

Different people have different reasons for not putting photographs as a priority. *But it's completely normal. *Although sometimes I personally have thought that people who photograph everything and construct archives, etc. are examples of our me-me-me society and putting too much emphasis on their own family and personal history. As if archiving something will ensure its importance in the future. It's possible your ex is thinking that about your 8Gig flash drive...otherwise I wouldn't be honest about my own feelings, just wanted to give you some insight, is not a man thing, is just a thing.


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## inarut (Feb 9, 2013)

Maybe he is taking his own pictures of his time with them and maybe that is more meaningful to him . Although, funny you should mention this this tonight because my boys were talking about a video that their uncle (ex brother in law ) makes of the family every year which is primarily my kids and the other nieces and nephews and I was sad that I didn't see and can't have those videos but I wouldn't feel the same way about pictures.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

BBMom, I'm a single dad with custody. I have all of our pics/videos backed up on an external drive. Ex has a copy of everything I have so we have not had to have this convo yet. I thought about it the other day that I need to organize the pictures of my D7 and put something together for other family members, but I've not had the nerve yet to look through all of that. 

I'm certain some are just not sentimental, but I bet for most it is just not wanting to sit there and flip through the happy (or unhappy?) times as a family, with pics of both of you with your kids/etc.


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## Baseballmom6 (Aug 15, 2012)

Well my Ex was actually more of a picture person than I am. I know he is not taking photos of the kids now because DD lives in Turkey and DS says that Dad doesn't have any pictures up around his house and isn't taking any. Of course his affair partner has plenty of hers around the house. Ex lives with her in what used to be our lake house. Did he really just let her take the pictures of our children down and replace them with hers? It just seems strange to me that he just doesn't seem interested. It is so out of character for him. He has never been one to let someone else tell dictate things like that. 

Oh well guess it's really not for me to worry about. 

Perhaps your right he misses the family we used to be. Although I made sure not to put any pictures of us together, only pictures of our kids. 

Anyway, just wanted some thoughts about it from others and I thank you for them.


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

Yeah that's different if he took down pictures of your kids to let her replace them with hers, but in that situation with the affair partner he's probably still rationalizing everything he does.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

I have thought about this too. I have all the pictures from our time raising our kids and exH asked for or took none. I can't even try to understand it, it just is the way it is. I couldn't live without them. Its as if he just forgot any of the past. Didn't keep in touch with old friends, his Facebook info just references his childhood home and his apartment address after he moved out, but nothing about the 28 years he lived in my town with me. Maybe it makes moving away and on with his new life easier. Maybe women are just more sentimental. But interesting that you noticed it and so have I.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

My Exwife didn't take many if any pictures as well.


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