# Jealous of gym time



## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

I'm in physio rehab and must spend 4 hours a day at rehabilitation center. It's a job requirement. My husband is jealous of the time I am at the gym. He is accusing me of time not being accounted for (chiropractor at 8, gym 8:30 to 11, treatment with physiotherapist, team planning or education classes at 11 then home). Today I had to drop something off with a friend (he knows her well and her hubby, his best friend was there too) and I had to get gas. I can't see where I had time to do anything. I don't go attractive (ponytail, no make-up, yoga leggings or capris, big T-shirt), I showed gas receipt with time, offered for him to call me trainers... Should I give in to his insecurities and keep trying to convince him or just screw it? I have nothing password protected - I have my phone with me a lot but just for browsing sites like this. He can look anytime.
There is no infidelity but I'm being accused of it. When I offer him to check, he refuses. Is he really worried or just wanting to complain?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Have him post here.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Entropy3000 said:


> Have him post here.


I would love to have him read here or any of the suggestions on improving marriage but he doesn't believe in 'third party opinions'. Won't do the quizes to learn love languages or anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

Tell him we don't do quiz here.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Tell him to come to the gym with you---If he won't, then he has no complaints

You need to come back at him, and get in his face about his bullying/abusing you------You need to be harsh, and back him down, or none of this will ever change

You are not on parole for any criminal acts, and you certainly have no reason to account for your time, and prove what you do----it's well past the time where you actually stood up for yourself

If you really need to stop all of this crap from him, tell him you are doing nothing wrong, in any way, shape, and form---he is free to accompany you, and if he doesn't like what is going on---he is certainly free to leave, or get a D.---short of that, stop playing the parole officer


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

the ironic part is that if your husband came here and posted that his wife was at the gym for 4 hours a day we'd all be screaming that you are cheating

(without the additional info of it being part of the job)

what is your background here, are you a BS or WS or neither?


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Almostrecovered said:


> the ironic part is that if your husband came here and posted that his wife was at the gym for 4 hours a day we'd all be screaming that you are cheating
> 
> (without the additional info of it being part of the job)
> 
> what is your background here, are you a BS or WS or neither?


Neither - not with him. Was a BS girlfriend of a different guy in the 90's. 
He is jealous of any time away. Married 6 years and 2 kids together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well since you are not a WS and you are being transparent and open, you are sticking to proper boundaries then he has a jealousy problem

how are other aspects of your marriage, do you spend time together one on one? how much time?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Stand up to him -- this is unacceptably controlling behavior. Or send him over here, we'll 'splain things to him


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

maybe he just needs reassurance and that is an indication that on at least one side of the marriage, there is a disconnect and needs arent being met...

Just thinking out loud here....

You seem annoyed that he is needy right now....

Wonder how he will react to your annoyance and dismissiveness...

Hmmmm. 

Wonder if slippery slopes all have signs...

Some thoughfulness, empathy might go a longway here...


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Is he projecting onto you?


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

What the hell does the PT have you doing for 2.5 hours!!! I'm in Sports medicine and I never have treatments going any longer than an hour! Unless, perphaps, and e-stim treatment at the end. But, if you're getting an e-stim treatment everyday, then that isn't good.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

As you don't appear to be giving him any reason to distrust you, and haven't in the past, it sounds like your H is trying to control you. Faced with a similar situation I'd sit down and have the whole thing out with him. Try to find out where he's coming from with his distrust, reassure him and then insist that he stop monitoring you.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

crossbar said:


> What the hell does the PT have you doing for 2.5 hours!!! I'm in Sports medicine and I never have treatments going any longer than an hour! Unless, perphaps, and e-stim treatment at the end. But, if you're getting an e-stim treatment everyday, then that isn't good.


She works AS a physio therapist not in therapy


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Almostrecovered said:


> She works AS a physio therapist not in therapy


It's after tennis elbow surgery. I go to chiropractor appointments, work with kinesiologist to build strength in arm, and working on strengthening and stretching pecs and thorasic spine. I have massage appointments, physiotherapist and education classes. To warm up muscles I do 40 minutes cardio. It's a legit program. I'm limited to 4 hour work day, so this other 'training' is my other part of job. I am paid to go as condition of my job.
I offered to buy him a membership. We have young kids, so we either get a sitter or go different times. He doesn't like either option.
He works 4 nights on - 5 off and wants to do so, so our kids not in daycare. He complains that he has to wait for me to come home to have 'freedom'. I say let's put kids in daycare. He doesn't want that. It's like he 'enjoys' blaming me for problem.
I am fed up. I get called a bad mom. He is relentless in following me around complaining.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

If he works nights part of the time (4 on 5 off), how can he manage the kids and sleep during the day? It sounds like the kids need to be in daycare when he's doing the nights on routine, because it could be this that is stressing him?

Regarding your physio and chiro sessions - he needs to grow up.


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