# Confused



## Frostingswirls (Apr 24, 2015)

I'm new to the forum. Trying to figure out to stay married or not. 20 plus years. Just seems like a one sided relationship. Like tonight he went grocery shopping for his groceries. Also went Monday. Won't pick up anything for me, kids, pets. Only him. It's my job to do family shopping he says. That's just one example. Intimacy is non existent. Says I'm too fat to be attractive, but since I am all he has that he will make due. He finds kissing disgusting. I'm born again Christian. So divorce is last resort. Thanks for listening.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Frostingswirls said:


> I'm new to the forum. Trying to figure out to stay married or not. 20 plus years. Just seems like a one sided relationship. Like tonight he went grocery shopping for his groceries. Also went Monday. Won't pick up anything for me, kids, pets. Only him. It's my job to do family shopping he says. That's just one example. Intimacy is non existent. Says I'm too fat to be attractive, but since I am all he has that he will make due. He finds kissing disgusting. I'm born again Christian. So divorce is last resort. Thanks for listening.


Do you REALLY want to remain married to someone who doesnt like you??


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Frostingswirls said:


> I'm born again Christian. So divorce is last resort. Thanks for listening.


Reconsider what it means to remain married just because you are a Christian. Telling you that you are fat and unattractive and withholding intimacy, he is certainly not upholding your vows in a Christian manner.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Frostingswirls said:


> I'm new to the forum. Trying to figure out to stay married or not. 20 plus years. Just seems like a one sided relationship. Like tonight he went grocery shopping for his groceries. Also went Monday. Won't pick up anything for me, kids, pets. Only him. It's my job to do family shopping he says. That's just one example. Intimacy is non existent. Says I'm too fat to be attractive, but since I am all he has that he will make due. He finds kissing disgusting. I'm born again Christian. So divorce is last resort. Thanks for listening.


Divorce.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Have you considered that he broke the marriage first when he chose not to honor and cherish you as his partner. I am not religious, but don't people get married under these circumstances. Not to mention he is a terrible role model for the children. Your children have a higher probability of ending in the same type of marriage as you.

Work out, especially in the mornings, work on you, better your life, so he will not be a factor that much in your life. He decided to quit being a loving partner long ago, and your marriage is just one of convenience, and that is something you cannot deny, especially since it lacks the love a marriage needs, not to mention respect.

By working on you, you create a better chance of attracting a new partner. Does he really deserve a good spouse once you improve yourself? Instead of working on the marriage, he pushed you to the side.


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## Frostingswirls (Apr 24, 2015)

Thanks everyone. He does have sex with me. I'm the one who doesn't want to. I mean seriously what woman would want to have sex with a hubby that tells her she's fat and kissing is disgusting. Real mood killer. I do go to the gym every morning at 5am. I'm not hideously fat. He considers anyone not model thin too fat. Over the years he's just gotten more and more self absorbed. And just plain old cranky! He fusses literally about everything including how I load the dishwasher. if he's told me once, he's told me a thousand times how to load it properly. If I don't load it the way he says then I'm either disrespectful or too stupid to learn. Wow. Putting this all down on screen does make him sound like an ass. Ok he can be nice at times. He's not 100% horrible. That is what makes this so hard.


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