# Lonely and lost please help.



## discontinued (Apr 9, 2014)

I have been married to my husband for 9 years now. There is no touching and talking turns into fights. I get a kiss for goodbye and sometimes when I return that is it. First we don't make love because of his pills he is on. Then he said he can get pills from his doctor that will help his man hood. He gets the pills but never used them on me. He now tells me he has ptsd and that is why we now live in a sexless marriage. Can someone get ptsd 10 years later after the army? This is coming from a man that have porn apps on his phone and every toy you can think of. He dose not have problems working it alone. Even before the man hood meds. Even bought him self a pump. I have found lots of dating sites accounts. He says he is looking for porn on them. All the sites he has looked on was girls from our area we live in. He knows this hurts me and still he lies and tells me I am never going to understand. He dose not talk normal to me. He sounds annoyed just to talk to me. I feel he is with me just for our children. I have asked him a lot why he is with me. He hates it talking about anything and I am always called names so easy. Could put something in the wrong place and I am dumb and don't know nothing. I have been called every name in the book by him. This is a every day event. I am to the point where I cry a lot sometimes can't help it I am so lost and lonely every night. I feel he is lying about this ptsd and is cheating on me. He has been to a few movies and out to dinner with his guy friend. I have never meet. He has been starting to used face wash and put on clone to go to work. He is a Janitor at a hospital. He not only bought new under wear. They are different style and brand. He stopped wearing boxers. Mom told me if he gets new under wear then he is cheating. New music has popped up on his phone. But he don't listen to music with me its always boring talking and news. Any ideas on where to go from here or have the same problems?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You have another thread where you posted almost exactly the same thing.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/relati...58-i-need-help-understanding.html#post8112002

I had just posted on then I saw this one. 

I do think that you are best posting in the CWI section as it does sound like there is a high probability that your husband is cheating.

Just keep one thread and respond to people as they post. That keeps your thread in the first few pages. Keep one thread so that people can read your entire store.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

He's cheating. You need to get solid evidence and then confront him. 

Be sure you know what you want to do before you confront him.. do you want a divorce or to see if he will reconcile and work on your marriage?


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## discontinued (Apr 9, 2014)

I was told to copy this here.


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## BetrayedAgain7 (Apr 27, 2013)

discontinued said:


> He hates it talking about anything and I am always called names so easy. Could put something in the wrong place and I am dumb and don't know nothing. I have been called every name in the book by him. This is a every day event.


Hi discontinued,

So when he says things like this to you everyday, do you just except it meekly or do you stand up for yourself and tell him to go f..k himself? Do you believe him when he tells you that you are dumb and abusively calls you names?

I'm so sorry you cry every night and are lonely. Honestly you can't change his behaviour, but you can change your own.

It does sound like he's cheating to be honest.

What do you really want?


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I am a counselor and my work is with Veterans, most of whom have PTSD. Can you give us a little more detail about his time in the Army and what led to his PTSD?


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Yes it is possible that he is cheating, yes it is possible that he is experiencing PTSD this late in the game as well, and yes it is possible that both are happening at the same time and entirely unrelated.

I sometimes wake with strange dreams and nightmares that haunt me, as do my former Vet buddies, and we never had these prior but have developed with age (and we have been out over 17 years). It is entirely possible that he has intimacy issues related to this PTSD which don't exhibit themselves within his "solo" actions, just when another being is involved. I would guess it is the cheating and PTSD combination, but that is a preliminary judgment based upon your writings. I am not in the field as Thorburn is, so he would be the best resource in this case.


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