# just looking for perspective



## jsir (Jun 21, 2009)

ok I have a story or situation which I have been searching to everyone on advice! not sure on how to start but i will try my best!

here goes! my wife and i have been married for 1yr but have been together for 7yrs we have 2 kids together. i work a 4 on 4 off shift work in another province so i am gone from my home for a total of 4.5 days out of 8. and we found out december of last year that she has PCOS, which has also caused a hormonal imbalance!

for the last few years we have been going in a downward spiral. We started to fight more and more, at first it was about stupid sh*t but, now it is about things that are important to me and not to her.

one day i thought to myself why is she so cold and bitter, in which i mean unloving emotionaly and physicaly. one day she said to me that she wasnt in love with me anymore. so i started thinking that there was someone else, so i did a deceitful thing and put a program on the computer (which was wrong to do, but at the time i just had to know, and stupid me felt guilty so i ended up telling her) that logged everything! and by doing this i found out that she had been talking to a guy for the last 1.5yrs. it was a guy that she met at a class she was taking. and when she was taking this class she decided to try and make me a little jelious by saying that this guy had looked at her. and me not being the jelious type at the time i said "well honey you are a beautiful woman of course guys are going to look at you" 
So by having this program i found out that she persude the friendship. 
It first started on crackbook! then MSN messenger then it went to them talking on the phone! and when i found this out I freaked!!! but couldnt let on that i knew that she was talking to this guy because i had no proof that she was cheating but i felt that she was having an emotional affair and when she found out what I had done thats when sh*t really hit the fan.(no more trust from her) we where on the verge of separating, but we never did separate. but now she is worse than before and i feel like a needy, desparate, insucure, jelious husband just trying to piece it all back together.
i even went to councelling by myself, and I have been doing all the things he said to do and nothing has changed! I have repeatedly ask her to get rid of this friend and all she does is say that i am being controlling! and says that i cant pic her friends. but this guy is a big thorn in my side because i know they still talk. i have even emailed this guy telling him (politely) to back off my wife and when he told her what i did she freaked again.and he chooses to still talk to her ( i just want to punch him in the face). but she did say that she does love me now and that she never stopped. so to confuse me even more!

i know this may seem to be confusing but there is so much more to write. but there has been so much going on in our lives i wanted to get the jist of my problem out here to just start getting help! and advice!

please help im so confused!! on what to try next!

thanx!


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

so ... lets review
your wife is diagnosed with :
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS): Symptoms, Cause, and Treatment

and your response was to install snoop spyware.

wheres the love?
did you help her seek the care and treatments she needed for this disease?
I see nothing from you but demands....
where was the love you gave her?

if you gave none... this could be why she found someone else to talk to... as it must be pretty scary having a disease like that one, growing hairy, gaining weight diabetes...and all the other symptoms posted int that link about Pcos.
I bet she feels pretty bad physically as well as emotionally.

btw, it is controlling to ask her to get rid of her friends.


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