# Who stoked your stove? (Life influences)



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I know why my grandmother pinked my cheeks so hard and shook them while she was kissing me at her door when we visited her and shouted her greetings about our beauty and her happiness at seeing us (all in Italian but as French speakers easy enough to understand). It's so I would remember. 

My nana, even though she was my mother's stepmother and not my biological grandmother, and even though my mother and her did not get along, was my true soul mate in this life. (Not some guy ) She would hold me even as an infant and tell me things even though I was preverbal, that have stuck with me in my mind, about my value and worth. 

Even though she had problems with her cheating lying husband (my biological grandfather) she created a home where I felt safe and cared for when visiting (for extended periods of time, which she insisted upon to my mother). She chastised me if I came down the stairs without slippers on my feet (well, after the first time that happened she bought me some). 

I visited her in the hospital when she was sick, even though I was in college and it was over an hour and I got loads of parking tickets on campus due to lack of parking when I returned in the wee hours from Boston. She said to me, don't you have anything better to do than to visit me? (Not that I'd rather be doing, no!!!!)

Well, she is gone for many years, the church was absolutely packed at her funeral. People cried for her openly. 

The important thing is, she made sure she was heard and felt and not just literally. When I wake up in the morning no matter where I am, I am in my grandmother's world. The home that she created just for me.

Who stoked your stove?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I've never heard the term "stoked your stove" but I think you mean who made/makes you happy? 

My mother. She always makes her house feel so welcoming and to this day I love to acll her if I am sick cause she makes me feel better and offers to make me soup. Like I am a little girl again. 

My cousin who passed. He had such a light energy about him and was so giving and loving and thoughtful. He died too soon and it was a suicide which makes it worse. He is always in my thoughts.

My grandma: she never spoke an ill word of anyone (which is hard in a family where nearly everyone is a gossip LOL). She always smiled and everytime I said Goodbye to her she would CRY. She was very sentimental. RIP, Grammy!


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

This is such a sweet positive non-judgemental thread.

My Great Great Aunt was as close to Mother Theresa as anyone that I knew. I miss her beyond words.

My younger Brother means the world to me. Really listens. Really cares. Open minded. Practical. Calming. If he dies before me, I will never be the same.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Stoking the stove is something you do before going to bed. So that your pipes don't freeze and burst while you're sleeping, and more importantly, so that you can get the stove going again in the morning without too much hassle, that is there will still be embers in there if the stove is stoked properly the night before.

Kudos is you have a stove-stoker who gets up in the wee hours to stir up the embers and add a log or two.

I had a landlord who would go into my rental on his way home to start my woodstove for me so it would be warm in the house when I got home from work with my kid. The first time that happened I was alarmed, thought I'd left the stove open and it had started a fire (smoke coming out from the chimney pipe). I didn't realize that heating service was included in the rent. Guy was a perfect gentleman, older than me and never laid a finger on me or made so much of a lewd suggestion. Just a really, really, really nice guy.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Who stoked your stove?


I had a dear Grandmother like yours, she had the craziest stories, always laughing, some of the things she said was outragrous -she also loved taking pictures , and just sitting on the country porch swing for hours talking about "life", what she has learned along the way & wanted me to know for my own life. I have found I take after her very very much. She Stoked my stove (never heard this expression before.).

She is the one who taught me to "play the field " just a little before I married, and never wear underwear to bed. And do what you want to do in life, whether that is a career or a Homemaker, be sure what it is I want & never give up on the dream.

I also had a best best girlfriend who I was very close too in my teen years, We were inseparable, we laughed till we couldn't stop, I half lived at her house, we faught too , one time over self -defense of all things- got into a fist fight in the middle of our country road. I was the idiot, she was right -after I studied it more & I apologized, but we always laughed about these things. 

Her family became my family (they were a crazy bunch, full of life & choas & I wanted my own to be just like theres when I grow up). Her Mom was like the Mom who left me, we talked about everything, my friend was like the sister I never had, and she told me I took the place of her twin that died on the day of her birth. But we did grow apart as the years rolled by & we found our boyfriends, she went off to college. She, her family & my Grandmother is what made my teen years enjoyable. 

Then I met my husband, the ultimate Stoker. And the rest is history, lots of little stikers along the way, but these were the ones I thought I would mention.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I had a dear Grandmother like yours, she had the craziest stories, always laughing, some of the things she said was outragrous -she also loved taking pictures , and just sitting on the country porch swing for hours talking about "life", what she has learned along the way & wanted me to know for my own life. I have found I take after her very very much. She Stoked my stove (never heard this expression before.).
> 
> She is the one who taught me to "play the field " just a little before I married, and never wear underwear to bed. And do what you want to do in life, whether that is a career or a Homemaker, be sure what it is I want & never give up on the dream.
> 
> ...


This is beautiful, SA! I find YOUR life inspirational - you're stoking my stove right now.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

I'd have to say my parents. Even though I lost my Dad when I was only 16. I need to clarify that my mom was not my birth mother. During my birth mom's pregnancy with me she was also diagnosed with cancer (which kind specifically I can't recall at the moment). Just a few months after I was born she succumbed to the cancer. Now bear in mind this was in 1961.

When I was about a year old, my Dad met a wonderful woman and her 10 year old son. As much as I would like to say they fell in love and got married it didn't happen in that order. They married then fell in love. In the beginning they were thinking of me and my brother, having a stable home with a family. She adopted me and Dad adopted her son. But SHAZAM! They did fall in love. They raised a family, build a couple of businesses together, everything. Even though there were the occasional disagreements between them I grew up witnessing not only a deep love but a solid friendship. I wanted to have what they had. They were my model for what a marriage should be and mean. I have no doubt that if Dad were still here their marriage would still be going ever so strong.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

cherokee96red said:


> When I was about a year old, my Dad met a wonderful woman and her 10 year old son. As much as I would like to say they fell in love and got married it didn't happen in that order. They married then fell in love.


This reminds me of a Hallmark Hall of Fame romance I watched about a year ago >> Amazon.com: The Magic of Ordinary Days (9780142000908): Ann Howard Creel: Books The marriage came first , the LOVE followed. So sorry to hear you lost your Mother, but seems God had your back with the woman who stepped in! Too bad she, you & your brother only had another 16 yrs. What a testimony their marraige was to you . 

It really bothers me when things like this happen to people, families, dying before their time -for whatever reason. I rarely feel bad when someone passes if they are in thier golden years - my Grandmother had this plaque hanging on her kitchen wall -I never forgot the words -it said "Never regret growing old, it is a priviledge denied to many". When she died at 81, I never shed a tear, I reminisced at that funeral with the biggest smile -as she would have wanted. I knew she lived a good & a full life. But I get REALLY torn up when someone dies young, even if I don't know them personally, it is very troubling to me. 

All of those we love may only be with us for a season, this is the sad reality of it. 

I like this saying in one of my books "We have this moment to hold in our hand, And to touch as it slips through our fingers like sand. Yesterday's gone & Tomorrow may never come, but we have this moment today".

Enchantment, you are very sweet ! I don't know if my life is inspirational or not, I haven't really done much, or been many places, or even accomplished much in "worldly" success compared to others. I am just a simple stay at home Mom who likes to shoot the breeze- kinda in a hillbillyish way at times. 

It is good to think upon/reflect on those who have influenced our paths along the way. Without some of these people, we may be in another place. Or had we had better influences, it might have saved us ! I guess so long as we learn something to carry with us of value - from the good , also from the bad, we are making progress. 

We all have a story to tell.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

My story is a composit. I have been influenced by several in different ways that have contributed to who I am today:
* Dad, who taught me how to think
* grandfather who taught me rope work and boating
* Dr Lutz, who taught me how to question assumptions
* Scott, who taught me to climb
* my wife, my best friend and supporter
* Cathy, who inspired me to climb again and be a better dad
* my kids, who taught me patience

They all have stoked my stove. I have pieces of all of them within me and they have tempered my soul through their influence.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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