# Spaghetti head with confusion



## Wrongpath (Jan 5, 2018)

Happy new year people, this is my 1st time talking to anyone about this since the start of 2018 when at all occurred.
We are/were coming up to our 19th year together been married nearly 5 yrs with 3 amazing children (I am husband). I myself tend to ruin a lot of situations with drinking, this is the case with new year 2017. We went around a friend's of my wife's house, all of us including the children and I had a one trap mind of drinking and not realising I completely left my wife by herself pretty much most of the evening.To top it all off she did say to me at one point "why don't you slow down and drink some coke instead?" I don't really remember much about the evening to be honest, which I am truly ashamed of BTW. 
The evening passed which I found out the following day I fell asleep drunk on there sofa so I didn't even wish my family or the people who invited us a happy new year. Found this all out on new years day morning when I tried to cuddle my wife, the tone in her voice said everything and I then quickly realised yet again I had crossed the line so I deeply apologised to her for making her feel this way and embarrassing her. 
We have had the end many times before and do patch it up but I have really pushed her over the edge of not loving me anymore and she wants me out the family home. I am not saying we haven't had good times, because we have its just this final time has highlighted all my other mistakes in the marriage. The last time I did this was a year or so ago and I was given one last chance which I've gone and messed up and I'm pretty sure nothing I can say or do is ever going to change her mind this time. I still love her and always have, I tell her daily and also love to be near to her just body contact makes my body shiver with excitement. It's now 5 days in still in the same house, my mind is doing overtime with "why". I just want to prove to my wife, if she would accept me back that I was in our family till death us do part . I am not saying she is perfect but the majority of the time she is to me.


----------



## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

Sounds like you know that the major problem is.

The question is what are you going to do about it.

There are many programs and groups that may be of benefit to you.

If you want to change bad enough, there should be enough resources around that you can access to get started on a new path in life.

Good luck.


----------



## Wrongpath (Jan 5, 2018)

Thank you, I do know what the issue is at the moment but have no idea what to do or even say to her to win her back.


----------



## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

have you demonstrated to her that you are seeking help for your alcoholism ? rehab....AA?


----------

