# Being Single and Happy



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

This is inspired by the thread, “Do You Keep track of Your Dates?” One poster said they had heard of people who went on 100 first dates in a year’s time. It made me realize how people are wired so differently, and how much effort people put into pursuing a relationship. I just wanted to share my wiring. 

I have been divorced for 10 years, and I have to say, I am a very happy guy being single. When I say single, I don’t just mean that I’m not married again, but I’m not in a relationship. I’ve been out on some dates since, but I just don’t have the drive or desire to pursue another relationship. After I got through the rough period after the divorce, which did take a while, I just have a “been-there-done-that” feeling. It’s not that I view relationships as a negative, but I am super-happy being single/alone. 

I have discovered how much energy has to be put into a relationship. Most everyone will admit it takes “work.” It’s amazing how stress free I am compared to other people I know. When I’m home, I get to do exactly what I want. There are no draining conversations that I have to have if I’m tired; I don’t have to text 20 times a day while we’re apart; I can sit on my butt or be active, and I don’t have to wonder how my lifestyle is working for someone else. I get to eat exactly what I want, go where I want, and spend my money exactly like I want. I don’t have to look at my bank account and think, “Hey, that’s not bad,” but then discover someone else has a remodeling project in mind. I don’t have any in-law drama. I don’t have to sit around puzzled about something strange that might be going on in my relationship. Others may say, “I’m married, and I get to do or not do all that stuff to.” That may be, but I do it without even a second thought. I could go on, because I could list everything in life as something that I get to do exactly how I want. It’s just so satisfying as to how I am in charge of every decision I have. 

I have two things that I help gauge my desire for another relationship. For one, I can’t think of any married people that I envy. That’s not to say that I think everybody in a relationship is miserable, not at all, but I don’t look at anyone and think, “If I had their life, I would really be happy,” and that is just looking at what I consider fairly normal marriages. When it comes to relationships with issues, which are often described here, I realize that I also don’t have that drama in my life. 

Second, there is nothing about my current life that I am dissatisfied with or want to change. I think some feel a void if they aren’t in a relationship, but I like where I live, I like my routines, and just my lifestyle in general. A relationship always brings some changes, which is natural, but I don’t have a drive to change anything. 

I’m sure it’s just a simple fact that people are wired differently, and my wiring is apparently not in the majority. Some people just don’t like being alone and get lonely, but I don’t really experience that. 

I haven’t totally written off another relationship, but I’m not in search of one. Perhaps someday I will meet somebody in produce isle at the grocery store and we will just fall head over heals, but I’m not in search, and if it doesn’t happen, that is absolutely fine with me. 

It snowed here today. I'm enjoying some coffee with the snow and just thought I would share.


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## 2&out (Apr 16, 2015)

Great post. Ditto ditto ditto. Only reason I am "in a relationship" is it happened by accident. And a couple bumps have made me realize I'm not doing crap as far as "work" to maintain it. It maintains itself or will end - it just isn't that important to me. I like me and feel good about where I am and what my life is.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Your hand must be amazing Southbound.

I kid, I kid. 

Isnt that at least ONE thing you miss? Not care much about sex or get your needs met somehow even not in a relationship?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

@southbound I think it's great that you know yourself so well. Kudos. Most people do not. 

Would you consider yourself more of an introvert or loner?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Middle of Everything said:


> Your hand must be amazing Southbound.
> 
> I kid, I kid.
> 
> Isnt that at least ONE thing you miss? Not care much about sex or get your needs met somehow even not in a relationship?


Just saying, just because you are in a relationship or married doesn't mean you are actually having sex, as we know from reading about people's problems they talk about here. For many, being married does not automatically mean having sex.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Livvie said:


> Just saying, just because you are in a relationship or married doesn't mean you are actually having sex, as we know from reading about people's problems they talk about here. For many, being married does not automatically mean having sex.


But it doesn't preclude it either. 

Which unless one avails themselves of hookers or random one night stands, being single does.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Middle of Everything said:


> Your hand must be amazing Southbound.
> 
> I kid, I kid.
> 
> Isnt that at least ONE thing you miss? Not care much about sex or get your needs met somehow even not in a relationship?


I knew that would be mentioned. :grin2: Just to keep it short, I always assumed I liked sex as much as the next guy, but apparently not enough that it overpowers all the other freedoms I described when I'm not in a relationship. And as someone else mentioned, just because you are in a marriage or relationship doesn't mean your having satisfying sex. 




Lila said:


> @southbound I think it's great that you know yourself so well. Kudos. Most people do not.
> 
> Would you consider yourself more of an introvert or loner?


Yes, I consider myself an introvert.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

There are some that tout, toot the joys of being single, someone happily unattached.

I would not survive the silence, my co-dependent mind would rattle me awake, incessantly.

And my loins, my chalk board pointer would rebel after the first month. It would leap out of my pants and flee at the first opportunity.

I wish to feel, to be a male, not a paternal mannequin, merely owning, and sporting a piss pipe.

I have this need to hold a naked woman tight to my chest.

Not a series of women, just one good one.


THRD-


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

As far as the “work” that goes into a relationship... I think that it should be, you get what you give. But it isn’t necessary true, for example, there are a lot of people who want super low maintenance relationships with minimal work. Essentially two people living independently but together with no expectations on one another. 
Then there are people who have a lot of expectations on their partners and clearly require more work. Which is fine, IF the other person is putting in equal work to make you happy. I have a friend that treats her hubby like a king, huge full breakfast in the morning, cooks gourmet meals everyday, lingerie, sex whenever he wants etc. but she expects romance, and for him to buy her nice things and take her out in dates and flowers and blah blah blah. It works for them.
What isn’t fair is when one has all sorts of expectations and demands but doesn’t give anything in return. 


I think it’s important in the beginning of a relationship to sort out expectations and lifestyle of the relationship. Because I know I couldn’t be with a low maintenance man who is low effort.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, I’m single and have been for years. No, I don’t miss being married. Yes, I’m happy. No, there’s nothing I would change. Yes, I’m an introvert. And I love my life just as it is because it’s finally all mine. I married very young and was never on my own. Now I am and that’s obviously what I’m meant to be.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Why do you come here to gloat over us married simps? 😭


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I’m happy being single and if it weren’t for the fact that I want to have sex, I would not bother to date at all. I have a full life and friends and family. I just miss sex and am not into detached sex at all so that means it has to come with a relationship.


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## Chronotrigger (Feb 6, 2020)

Unfortunately I'm not wired to be single. I hate coming home to an empty house or having a partner to talk to. Honestly, if my marriage does fail I'll probably be right back out there looking for another mate.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Chronotrigger said:


> Unfortunately I'm not wired to be single. I hate coming home to an empty house or having a partner to talk to. Honestly, if my marriage does fail I'll probably be right back out there looking for another mate.


I’m sure you are in the majority and more the norm. I’m just the opposite; I love coming home to an empty house after work. I can relax and unwind.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

I’ve been single for just under two years and while I know that I’d be fine alone I’d rather have a partner. When I say I’d be fine alone I mean I won’t fall into despair or anything but I do get lonely and would love to have someone to share my time with. I definitely don’t want to end up alone permanently.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Not said:


> I’ve been single for just under two years and while I know that I’d be fine alone I’d rather have a partner. When I say I’d be fine alone I mean I won’t fall into despair or anything but I do get lonely and would love to have someone to share my time with. I definitely don’t want to end up alone permanently.


I appreciate the comments. You mentioned being alone permanently. I’ve noticed that some play up “being alone” as a horrible thing. That is only a bad thing if you don’t want to be alone, but there is a general feeling that being alone is an awful thing. People forget that some relationships are horrible. 

I guess it must be human nature to block out the negatives about things and only focus on the positive. Even if someone has been in 2 horrible marriages, they can’t wait to go for 3, and they get so excited when friends or family announce they are getting married.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

southbound said:


> I love coming home to an empty house after work. I can relax and unwind.


Having married two alcoholics, I can say I'm in complete agreement with your sentiments. I read so many accounts here of people who stay in lousy marriages, and I simply can't understand it. I have no issues with anyone wanting to have someone to come home to. But if you have ever endured coming home to chaos and insanity, I assure you that you will find being alone a godsend.

I want PEACE in my life and in my home. I have that. I don't have to negotiate or compromise. Done enough of that. Done doing it. I enjoy life on my terms.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Prodigal said:


> southbound said:
> 
> 
> > I love coming home to an empty house after work. I can relax and unwind.
> ...


I agree. I actually think “peace” is my most desired thing in life, so I guess that’s why it feels good to be single.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

southbound said:


> I appreciate the comments. You mentioned being alone permanently. I’ve noticed that some play up “being alone” as a horrible thing. That is only a bad thing if you don’t want to be alone, but there is a general feeling that being alone is an awful thing. People forget that some relationships are horrible.


This topic is one I’ve given a lot of thought to over the past three years or so. One thing I’ve noticed in some singles and/or divorce circles is that a lot of people will almost brag about how happy they are being single, like it’s a badge of honor or something. That implies that those who don’t want to remain single are weak in some way, like wanting to be in a relationship automatically means that person must be co-dependant or the clingy type. Not so. We’re all not only wired differently but we all come from different backgrounds.

For me personally, I’ve never had the experience of being deeply in love nor have I experienced a healthy relationship. I would like to experience both in this lifetime. That does not mean I see the single life as horrible. 

I’m an introvert as well and do just fine on my own thank you very much. I tend to keep to myself and never seek out the social scene. I’ve been this way my entire life. I don’t need people but I would like to know what a deep connection with someone is like.



> I guess it must be human nature to block out the negatives about things and only focus on the positive. Even if someone has been in 2 horrible marriages, they can’t wait to go for 3, and they get so excited when friends or family announce they are getting married.


Not blocking out the negative, just coming at this from a different direction/perspective. And I’ve had just one LTR, nothing else.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Not said:


> southbound said:
> 
> 
> > This topic is one I’ve given a lot of thought to over the past three years or so. One thing I’ve noticed in some singles and/or divorce circles is that a lot of people will almost brag about how happy they are being single, like it’s a badge of honor or something. That implies that those who don’t want to remain single are weak in some way, like wanting to be in a relationship automatically means that person must be co-dependant or the clingy type. Not so. We’re all not only wired differently but we all come from different backgrounds.
> ...


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## Chronotrigger (Feb 6, 2020)

Honestly I'd rather be 50% happy in my marriage than be 100% alone. Being alone scares the living crap out of me.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Relationships, particularly LTR cohabiting ones, are in general a net positive for everyone involved. On the practical side, the savings in food, shelter, and other infrastructure are significant. On the emotional and social side, it can be like having a live-in best friend to be comforted by and celebrate together. Research has shown that contrary to popular jokes cohabiting LTR couples on average enjoy more physical intimacy than their single and dating peers. They live longer and are happier overall.

On the other hand, you aren't guaranteed to experience the positive non-infrastructure benefits in your particular relationship. Your SO might not be interested in intimacy *with you*. They might not be supportive, empathetic, or understanding. It could be possible that you'll be the one responsible for all of the relationship's assets which while cheaper on average is more expensive in time and effort for you specifically.

I would like in my lifetime to be loved and appreciated by someone other than my parents, sibling, and children. That means that I will eventually have to date again. Many of the activities associated with dating (dining out, traveling, conversations, and even sex) were, at the end of my marriage, sources of stress and criticism. The first several dates are likely to be unpleasant for everyone involved but I doubt that there is any other way to get over that threat response other than habituation.

For now, being alone is pretty awesome. I dropped the kids off at winter camp for this weekend and I wasn't criticized for not having a bunch of plans for this evening and weekend. I didn't have to go through the effort to make those plans which would have been the wrong ones if I had made them. I can get caught up on chores and rest without the chores getting done "wrong" or called lazy.

@Middle of Everything, as my ex used to say, my "right hand isn't broke".

@Lila, I am an introvert, too.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Chronotrigger said:


> Honestly I'd rather be 50% happy in my marriage than be 100% alone. Being alone scares the living crap out of me.


Thanks for sharing. I’ve often thought about weighing the positives and negatives. Obviously, being alone is not scary to me, and I like my lifestyle, so there is not a lot a relationship would do for me. 

You say that being alone scares the crap out of you. Do you think it’s partly a cultural thing or totally something within you? In other words, if being single suddenly became the thing, would it bother you as much?


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## Chronotrigger (Feb 6, 2020)

It's not cultural, or social for me. The thought of coming home to an empty house, going to bed alone, not having a SO to talk to or share the details of life with, conversation, and of course the lack of sex... all terrifying concepts to me.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Chronotrigger said:


> It's not cultural, or social for me. The thought of coming home to an empty house, going to bed alone, not having a SO to talk to or share the details of life with, conversation, and of course the lack of sex... all terrifying concepts to me.


Perhaps that is why people in a relationship think people who are single are so strange. I suppose we judge things from our own feelings. I’m sure others look at single people and think, “poor fella, there’s no way he can be happy.”


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Hiner112 said:


> @Lila, I am an introvert, too.


Interesting. I was wondering if there was a correlation between introverts and their happiness with being single. Guess there goes that theory.


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## Zulnex (Mar 23, 2013)

southbound said:


> Perhaps that is why people in a relationship think people who are single are so strange. I suppose we judge things from our own feelings. I’m sure others look at single people and think, “poor fella, there’s no way he can be happy.”


I definitely agree with you. I have been single all my life (never even had a date) and people who are in a relationship look at me quite strangely. The way they look at me, I can almost sense what they are thinking: "Something is seriously wrong with him" or "He must be a very abusive person, so no wonder he has always been single."


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I spend a considerable amount of time with my family and friends, and greatly enjoy that, but I prefer being alone. I’m never bored with lots of books to read and I’m never lonely with two big dogs to walk and care for. I married very young, because that’s what my generation did, and then spent decades in a dysfunctional marriage. After my divorce, I discovered for the first time what it was like to be on my own and I loved it. My life is perfect — for me — but everyone is different. The lesson I learned was to embrace what makes you happy and forget about the expectations others may have.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Lila said:


> Interesting. I was wondering if there was a correlation between introverts and their happiness with being single. Guess there goes that theory.


I wouldn't consider myself to be a counter example for happy being alone introvert. I'm happier now than during most of my marriage. 

At this point in my life I consider being in a loving relationship to be a life experience that can enrich your life and change your perspective like international travel or parenthood but unnecessary for everyday happiness. I have no definite plans for changing my current status. 

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Well I'm not sure if I'm going to fit the mold here. I am an introvert who loves people, so I expend a LOT of energy on the people for whom I care...but I recover and recharge alone. 

What's funny is that I absolutely ADORE being single and being alone. To my mind, when I was single (between my D and before Dear Hubby) I enjoyed the freedom of it. Like you'all have said, the peace of having my own home, my own schedule, my own life, my own friends, my own decisions without ever being questioned or second-guessed was refreshing and just LOVELY. I got to decorate in a style I liked, in colors I liked. My home reflected my heart and the peace in my heart. It was EXCELLENT!!

Now, I do enjoy sharing myself and life. I find that having one person with whom I am intimately close (emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically) is a pleasant experience that I am open to. I find relating and being transparent to be refreshing and encouraging to my personal growth. So yep, if I find someone I don't turn them away or think harshly. But I remember with Dear Hubby going for years quite enjoying being single and then at one point thinking, "Oh you know, I could share my life. I think I might try dating." Of course, OLD is not for me, but I found a way that did work and eventually met him. 

After Dear Hubby passed away, I did sincerely think I had had that once-in-a-lifetime kind of relationship that most people only hope for, and so I was quite happy to go about my business single. I enjoyed the valley where I lived (although I like smaller towns better and it was getting kinda big for my taste). I enjoyed my job and my co-workers. I had a GREAT church family. I was in a good place and thought I'd get to spend my years doing what I want to do, when I want to do it! HUZZAH!! 

Best laid plans of mice and men, right? I met EB. I kept my heart open to the possibility and doors kept opening, so here I am, not single! LOL But to me, I think some of the best marriages are two people who are happy being single and agreeing to share themselves as they each walk their own path. Don't you?


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Affaircare said:


> Well I'm not sure if I'm going to fit the mold here. I am an introvert who loves people, so I expend a LOT of energy on the people for whom I care...but I recover and recharge alone.
> 
> What's funny is that I absolutely ADORE being single and being alone. To my mind, when I was single (between my D and before Dear Hubby) I enjoyed the freedom of it. Like you'all have said, the peace of having my own home, my own schedule, my own life, my own friends, my own decisions without ever being questioned or second-guessed was refreshing and just LOVELY. I got to decorate in a style I liked, in colors I liked. My home reflected my heart and the peace in my heart. It was EXCELLENT!!
> 
> ...


I agree with you. I could handle being with someone that fit me. I am amazed at how some people just casually, unexpectedly meet a significant other. It’s as if they couldn’t help it. I don’t mean that sarcastically either, it really does amaze me.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I am largely in agreement with the Original Post. I've been happily married twice, and if the right person found me, I'd consider being in a committed LTR again. Maybe even cohabiting. But, wow, it's great being on my own. 



Hiner112 said:


> On the emotional and social side, it can be like having a live-in best friend to be comforted by and celebrate together.


I didn't find that, much. I am one of those who believes that most women find it hard to empathise with men. Women are good at many many things, but I've not found comforting men to be one of them. 



> For now, being alone is pretty awesome. I dropped the kids off at winter camp for this weekend and I wasn't criticized for not having a bunch of plans for this evening and weekend.


Yeah, it's nice not to have to be the entertainment committee. If I get in tired from work, and just want to read a book, I don't have to worry that I'm neglecting my "other half". I have my own systems for shopping, cooking, cleaning and laundry. I don't have to negotiate those things with someone else.



Affaircare said:


> I think some of the best marriages are two people who are happy being single and agreeing to share themselves as they each walk their own path. Don't you?


Yeah, I agree. I can imagine that happening again.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

southbound said:


> Affaircare said:
> 
> 
> > Well I'm not sure if I'm going to fit the mold here. I am an introvert who loves people, so I expend a LOT of energy on the people for whom I care...but I recover and recharge alone.
> ...


I met both a long term college boyfriend and my (ex) husband in a doorway. Complete strangers approaching a door at the same time, both times. Maybe I should hang out at entryways, instead of online dating, if I want to meet someone!


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Livvie said:


> I met both a long term college boyfriend and my (ex) husband in a doorway. Complete strangers approaching a door at the same time, both times. Maybe I should hang out at entryways, instead of online dating, if I want to meet someone!


It’s an unusual dating method but it seems to work for you!!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Livvie said:


> I met both a long term college boyfriend and my (ex) husband in a doorway. Complete strangers approaching a door at the same time, both times. Maybe I should hang out at entryways, instead of online dating, if I want to meet someone!


Interesting. Were these similar situations, such as both doorways at the library or the grocery store? How did conversation start in the doorway?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

southbound said:


> Livvie said:
> 
> 
> > I met both a long term college boyfriend and my (ex) husband in a doorway. Complete strangers approaching a door at the same time, both times. Maybe I should hang out at entryways, instead of online dating, if I want to meet someone!
> ...


The first one, I was going out and he was going in the back door at the same time--- at the house of a friend at a party. We bumped into each other, said excuse me, and started talking. Somehow (??) discovered we had both been at the same place (across the country where an avalanche happened) at the same time a few years earlier. Kept talking for hours.

The story about my ex husband is too personally identifying and I don't want to tell it publically!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

SunCMars said:


> There are some that tout, toot the joys of being single, someone happily unattached.
> 
> I would not survive the silence, my co-dependent mind would rattle me awake, incessantly.
> 
> ...


That is normal. I rewrote your statement to how some of us single people might see it:

There are men that tout, toot the joys of being married, someone happily attached.

I would not survive the noise and chatter, my mind would desire peace but stay rattled awake, incessantly.

And my loins, my chalk board pointer would be joyous during the first month. It would leap out of my pants at every opportunity.

However, I wish to feel, to be a male, not a paternal mannequin to be at someone's beckoned call, merely owning, and sporting a piss pipe.

I have this desire to hold a naked woman tight to my chest, but so far, I have not found the one that makes it is not worth the cost

Not a series of women, just one good one.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

I am also very happy with my situation, which is definitely not a 'normal' relationship. I've been with my gf for about 8 years. We are exclusive, but do not live together. We both have our own homes, and spend about 1-3 nights per week together, plus vacations. Almost always 1 date night on a weekday, and 1-2 nights on the weekend. I have an adolescent daughter from my marriage whom I have about 45% of the time on my custody schedule, and this allows a lot of 1:1 time with her. If one of us gets pissed off, we just go home. No financial entanglements - I make more money than gf, so I pay a little more of the cost of dates and trips, but we split that up pretty evenly. I am not an introvert, but I do really enjoy being alone, and doing my own thing on my schedule. We also both like sex, and there's a sufficient supply.

I consider myself very fortunate to have found someone who wants the same type of 'arm's length' relationship like this. It is definitely not for everyone. I have an ex wife and a child support payment, and have NO interest in acquiring any more of those. I had a vasectomy about a year ago to go ahead and avoid that altogether. If we split up someday, I will most likely not pursue another relationship much if at all. The only drawback in my mind is that as we age, it would be nice to have someone around in case I collapse with a heart attack or something. But, when that time comes, I'm probably not going to be willing to give up my current level of freedom for that contingency.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

There is actually a name and a few books & articles about this: Living Apart Together (LAT). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Living_apart_together

Try it if you can!


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

OnTheRocks said:


> There is actually a name ad a few books & articles about this: Living Apart Together (LAT). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Living_apart_together
> 
> Try it if you can!


I love it! It’s exactly what I am hoping for.


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

southbound said:


> That is normal. I rewrote your statement to how some of us single people might see it:
> 
> There are men that tout, toot the joys of being married, someone happily attached.
> 
> ...


I'm really hoping that is not my lot ... 

Although I ended in divorce due to infidelity, I don't think I ever felt quite that negative.

I miss the scent of a woman.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

attheend02 said:


> southbound said:
> 
> 
> > That is normal. I rewrote your statement to how some of us single people might see it:
> ...


If the above seems a little negative, it’s just because I rewrote the passage; it’s a little tongue in cheek. 

I don’t, however, think enjoying single life is a negative thing.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

southbound said:


> Interesting. Were these similar situations, such as both doorways at the library or the grocery store? How did conversation start in the doorway?


I met my exH at my apartment complex--he was the security guard and I'm a sucker for a man in uniform. NOTE: I met him live and we ended up divorced 

I met both Dear Hubby and Beloved Hubby on forums.  No kidding. I was trying to negotiate exH's cheating and was on an infidelity forum...and just stayed way too long (sound familiar?). Anyway, I was aware he existed but stuck to the ladies as friends, and on the very rare occasion would post. Then I found I was a night owl and so was he, so we'd post at midnight and just chat in posts. Then he PM'ed and the rest is history. 

After he passed away, well you'all have seen how I got to know @Emerging Buddhist! 

Since @Livvie met her two LTRs in a doorway, I kind of wonder if maybe there's something to this...like a person finds a way they like to meet people and that's how they meet them!


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Not said:


> I’ve been single for just under two years and while I know that I’d be fine alone I’d rather have a partner. When I say I’d be fine alone I mean I won’t fall into despair or anything but I do get lonely and would love to have someone to share my time with. I definitely don’t want to end up alone permanently.


As I divorced all I wanted to be was a great date, after I divorced my essence was more than happy to be single again.

Amazing what is introduced to us when we are ready for the right things to come...

I salute you Southbound, calm is a superpower even for us married guys. 0


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

So, I suppose most feel all the stresses in a relationship is worth whatever it is that is 
your favorite part of the relationship whether it be sex, not being alone, or whatever it is. 

I’m not saying everyone should run out and get a divorce to be single. I just feel like if people go through a breakup or divorce, they should give themselves some time to get over the horrible part, and then just relax a while and see what life is like when in a normal mind and single. That’s what I did, and I discovered I like being free of a relationship. 

I can’t relate to people who want to dive right back in. Even people who have been in a horrible relationship can’t wait to get back with somebody.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

If I could sum this up, I will say that marriage/LTR aren’t for everyone, but I don’t feel like we teach that in our society. Does anyone ever tell their kids that marriage is a choice and they might be happier single? If anyone had a child who flat out said, “I don’t think I ever want to get married, I like being single.” Parents would have a heart attack. Right? 

I don’t think we teach all the negatives that can go along with a marriage, as are evidenced by this forum. Instead, we only portray marriage as a flowery experience to the you g generation.


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