# Possibly in love with another woman



## ky1985 (May 4, 2013)

I am a married 27 year old man with 2 kids. I worked with a married woman, who is 34, with 3 kids for about 8 months. We had a close relationship, and I began to fall in love with her after being there for about 4 months. She left for another job about a month ago. It was then that she came out to me with her feelings, and I. Since then, we text while we are at work, and we have met 6-7 times, where we talk in her car for 30-45 minutes at a time. During this time, we kiss, and fondle sexually. We have talked about sex, as it's something we both seem to want. She makes me very happy, and we are so much a like. I love my wife, and she loves her husband, but this is something I don't want to stop.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Break it off and come clean with your wife. You are cheating on her and it is wrong.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Go over to the Coping with infidelity sub forum. Read it about all the heartbreak and shattered lives and then decide if you want to continue your heinous behavior.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

are you my H?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Do your wife a favor and leave her so she can find someone that's not a scumbag.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Or are you a troll


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Stop cheating on your wife. Or leave your wife. Don't cake eat.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

ky1985 said:


> I am a married 27 year old man with 2 kids. I worked with a married woman, who is 34, with 3 kids for about 8 months. We had a close relationship, and I began to fall in love with her after being there for about 4 months. She left for another job about a month ago. It was then that she came out to me with her feelings, and I. Since then, we text while we are at work, and we have met 6-7 times, where we talk in her car for 30-45 minutes at a time. During this time, we kiss, and fondle sexually. We have talked about sex, as it's something we both seem to want. She makes me very happy, and we are so much a like. I love my wife, and she loves her husband, but this is something I don't want to stop.


ky,

Glad you posted. You still have a chance to save your life from an enormous amount of pain and grief.

You are not going to get any sympathy here so let me break it to you more gently than most. Stop now, tell your wife you have made a tragic error and you want her forgiveness. 

Oh and keep your trousers zipped. For God's sake you are a grown man not a 16 year old. Recognize you made a commitment (or even better a covenant) to your wife and get back on track.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

He'll be back after he gets caught crying about how he can save his marriage and get his wife to trust him again after his horrible "mistake".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

ky1985 said:


> I love my wife, and she loves her husband, but this is something I don't want to stop.


Okay, I'll take a minute to believe you are not a troll. But just a minute. You love your wife, but you are pretty much in a PA with another woman. She loves her husband, but she is having a PA with you.

Gee, what's wrong with this picture? DUH ....

If you are not a troll, you will respond with more information. You have given us an outline, at best. So, I guess we just wait and see.

Because if you are for real, both you and your "friend" are having a serious case of denial.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Well, let's see, you will responsible for 5 kids, minus half of what you have, and alimony for ex wife. Plus all the hurt you caused to 5 kids your spouse and the OW husband. Then your relationship won't last because it's a fantasy and it will do down hill quick and you will spend endless nights asking if this cheating woman is cheating on you. Which will be yes because cheaters cheat. Then you will want your wife who hates you because you broke her heart which feels worst than a painful slow death only you never die.

Read a few post you will get the picture of the nuclear bomb you are about to set off.

There is a reason why you are here, you know it's wrong. 
Hardly any relationship between cheaters ends up well. I know you think you're the exception but every one else does too.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Prodigal said:


> Okay, I'll take a minute to believe you are not a troll. But just a minute. You love your wife, *but you are pretty much in a PA with another woman.* She loves her husband, but she is having a PA with you.
> 
> Gee, what's wrong with this picture? DUH ....
> 
> ...


What do you mean "pretty much"? This *ahem* person... already admitted to kissing and sexual fondling. PA already. 

Seriously, OP, you know it's wrong. You are cheating on your wife. You claim to love her. If that were true, you wouldn't be having sex ("sexual fondling"...close enough) with someone else.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If you love your wife, what's your hand doing in this other woman's crotch? Why is your tongue down her throat? Get her out of your car, out of your head, off your phone, and tend to the woman you've got. Nothing good is going to come out of this.


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## NWCooper (Feb 19, 2013)

Do you love and value your family? Are you ready to throw your family away for sex, because that is exactly what your doing.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Your choice today could very easily result in 5 kids growing up without their fathers, each growing up without knowing what a decent marriage looks like, becoming 5 sets of adults in dysfunctional relationships, damaging 12 kids, etc, etc, etc. With your little diversion, you are deciding the fate of people not even born yet. You'd rush into a burning house to protect your kids but you won't kick some strange woman out of your car and drive home?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Maricha75 said:


> What do you mean "pretty much"?


Leave semantics out of this and focus on the OP'er. I sent you a PM telling you as much. AHEM.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Prodigal said:


> Leave semantics out of this and focus on the OP'er. I sent you a PM telling you as much. AHEM.


I hope it was courteous.

Yes this is a PA even if there is not yet PIV sex. So I understand your saying this was pretty much a PA.

One thing I will emphasize is that is it no longer just an EA. EAs are unfaithful bonding with another. Often without intent. They can become romantic in nature and then sexual. Other affairs can just flat get sexual from the get go.

BUT the take away point is that there is no gray here any more. This is a sexual affair and is not about being close friends. It had been unfaithfu for a while and now is cheating.

If the OP still works with this woman he "pretty much" has to quit his job. He must go complete NC. He needs to tell his wife as well because he will need her help to get through withdrawal and not break NC. But he says she left for another job. The good news then is that he should be able to keep his job.

OP, no one wants to stop and addiction. You are acting like a very weak man indeed. If you love your wife and your children you would end this. 

Is there something you are looking for by posting here on TAM? You will not get any validation for the path you are on from any person who respects marriage. But if for nothing else you need to stop for your children. You are being incredibly selfish.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Is your relationship with this woman worth losing your wife and marriage over, having to sell the family home, going from full time dad to being the weekend dad, having every one know you cheated on your wife and kids, dividing all your assets... etc, etc... is she worth all that?

If you were my husband and i found out he was doing what you doing that would be the consequences.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Prodigal said:


> Leave semantics out of this and focus on the OP'er. I sent you a PM telling you as much. AHEM.


Just to clarify, the "ahem" I said in the post to which you were referring, was about the OP, NOT you. and the whole thing was "*ahem* person"... meaning that if I said anything else, it would get me banned. Also, the reason I said what I did regarding the "pretty much PA" is because there are some who would take those words, in their OWN situations, and say "well, it's not bad.. just a little kissing and fondling/petting. It's not like I'm REALLY cheating." That's all I meant by quoting that part. I wasn't trying to attack you or anything. Sorry that you took it that way.


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

If you're both in love you should leave your partners and get together.

Sarcasm. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Swapping spit with and feeling up a woman isn't "love". That's "horny". If you're typical, you could get similar arousal out of 85% of adult females. Love don't sneak around. It's faithful, it's dependable, it sees beauty in spite of curlers, wrinkles, or extra pounds. It seeks reasons to stay instead of reasons to go.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

You do not love your wife. Don't sugarcoat it - you are cheating already.


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