# Men who had been cheated on



## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Wondering . Are Men who had been cheated on less like to cheat ? 

Since u have first hand experience of the pain n hurt it caused ? 

Or would you be a cynic n more likely to cheat ? 

N less able to love a new love ?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

tripad said:


> Wondering . Are Men who had been cheated on less like to cheat ?
> 
> Since u have first hand experience of the pain n hurt it caused ?


Probably. Doesn't mean that some won't, especially if they themselves have cheated before.



tripad said:


> Or would you be a cynic n more likely to cheat ?


Me personally? No. And I'd think that at least _most_ of the guys here would feel similarly.

Can't speak for others, though.



tripad said:


> N less able to love a new love ?


Definitely yes.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Gosh 

I have been cheated on financially . Not sure if there's another woman . Guess not . 

I have my own fear now . 

N the guy who show a little interest in me had his ex cheating before 

I m dealing with my own fear of what if things go wrong n my heart breaks again -


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Yep, what Gus said.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Good 

At least if this guy is interested in me , i would venture , since he is less likely to cheat .


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

The world is so complicated 

I just wanted a loving family 

What happened to the world

I must have been born in the wrong era ?


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

tripad said:


> Gosh
> 
> I have been cheated on financially . Not sure if there's another woman . Guess not .
> 
> ...


This is just my opinion. Not sure if this is a serious relationship you're contemplating,but if it is then it gives you a starting point. You've both been betrayed in your own ways,so I'm sure there must be some insecurity on his part as well when considering a new relationship. Somewhat of a common ground to share your concerns,fears and expectations with one another. Getting to know one another honestly and the best you can over time. You both may be filtering your judgments right now through the emotions of your betrayals. Honest communication is so important. In the end it does come down to a leap of faith,no matter how small,because there are no 100% guarantees. Take care.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

tripad said:


> Wondering . Are Men who had been cheated on less like to cheat ?
> 
> Since u have first hand experience of the pain n hurt it caused ?
> 
> ...


I think most people, even selfish people are less likely to cheat if they've felt devastated by it themselves. At least if they know they're with someone who's been loyal to them. Maybe I just want to think that.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Never say never, however: 

Ask him why he would want a relationship with a cheater? Which at this point you would be. Do you want a relationship with this type of guy ? sucks but there is a right way and .....


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

My ex was married before me - for 18 months. They divorced because she cheated on him with one of his coworkers. He told me later that he would have gone to counseling or done anything else he could to save it, but she wanted to be with the other guy. Fast forward 27 years later - he cheated on me with an OW, and said there was nothing I could do or say to change it - he wanted to be with her.

Like Personal said, it's not a matter of sympathy - it's a matter of moral character. I will never be the OW in anyone else's life, and I will never cheat on anyone, not because I've been through it, but because it's just not in me.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

JohnA said:


> Never say never, however:
> 
> Ask him why he would want a relationship with a cheater? Which at this point you would be. Do you want a relationship with this type of guy ? sucks but there is a right way and .....


u got things wrong. We are both not cheaters . We both were cheated by our respective spouses . 

His wife ran off with OM then came back asking for second chance but he boot her . My ex financially used me n cheated me n hit me n i finally divorced him .


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

TBT said:


> tripad said:
> 
> 
> > Gosh
> ...


Yes . 

We are so slow n busy that we are not even dating . 


He was just a friend n support during my divorce . I think we both express appreciation n liking of each other's finer side thus far . N talks of a lunch , game to be arranged . 

Real slow . But i think that's fine . Any faster n i will back off .


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I really think that this is going to greatly vary from an individual standpoint! 

As for myself, being a somewhat devout Christian, I have always adhered to the marital vows of "to love, honor, and cherish from this day forward, forsaking all others, until death do you part." Those vows were made for both the protection of the husband and the wife, their family, and their community. Too bad that neither of my XW's felt that strongly about them!

And I can't help but feel that one day, questions from "a higher authority" are going to be the order of the day for those who willingly violated those sacred vows!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *I really think that this is going to greatly vary from an individual standpoint!
> 
> As for myself, being a somewhat devout Christian, I have always adhered to the marital vows of "to love, honor, and cherish from this day forward, forsaking all others, until death do you part." Those vows were made for both the protection of the husband and the wife, their family, and their community. Too bad that neither of my XW's felt that strongly about them!
> 
> ...


agree . I wont say I am pious and holy . But I do believe there's God and I try to lead my life as right as I can humanly can . cant stand it when my ex and his family called me Miss Righteous and Miss perfect when I ask them to right the wrong and pay my money back . 

Mind you Arbitrator , my ex's parents and sisters are church elders and youth leaders in the past . wolves in the church i call them .

yup they will answer to the higher authority


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

tripad said:


> agree . I wont say I am pious and holy . But I do believe there's God and I try to lead my life as right as I can humanly can . cant stand it when my ex and his family called me Miss Righteous and Miss perfect when I ask them to right the wrong and pay my money back .
> 
> Mind you Arbitrator , my ex's parents and sisters are church elders and youth leaders in the past . wolves in the church i call them .
> 
> yup they will answer to the higher authority


*We are told in the Bible that those who make use of the Church, or any part thereof, to deceptively perpetuate or promote evil, or even their own selfish ends, will be called into accountability before the Heavenly Father!

And while they may not necessarily be banished into eternal damnation over their sordid acts, they certainly will be called upon to, not only account for their disobedience to God, but also any and all of their earthly deceptions and misgivings against their fellow man!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

tripad said:


> Wondering . Are Men who had been cheated on less like to cheat ?
> 
> Since u have first hand experience of the pain n hurt it caused ?
> 
> ...


In my case I wasn't less likely to love again but my boundaries were better and I understood that I only controlled myself. It also meant I wasn't jumping into things too quickly and I wasn't willing to let things spin in disrespectful ways. Being single was a better option than being in a bad relationship. These changes are part of why my wife loves me and why I think we're both lucky.

Maybe you wouldn't have liked who your guy was before all of this happened and before he learned a few things.


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> tripad said:
> 
> 
> > agree . I wont say I am pious and holy . But I do believe there's God and I try to lead my life as right as I can humanly can . cant stand it when my ex and his family called me Miss Righteous and Miss perfect when I ask them to right the wrong and pay my money back .
> ...


Yup their favourite catch phrase to me is they pray n god forgives so their sin is forgiven . N they laugh . 

So that explains why they dont want to return my money . It is a big sum . Enough to buy a home for myself n children . 

Took me a long time to get myself n children back to god n church .


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## tripad (Apr 18, 2014)

Thundarr said:


> tripad said:
> 
> 
> > Wondering . Are Men who had been cheated on less like to cheat ?
> ...


Yup

Probably wont have considered this guy friend if not for what happened . He's cute looking but too quiet n old fashioned English n perhaps introverted . But from the support he had offered n the wise advice given , saw a strong silent wisdom which is attractive . N now i appreciate old fashioned . I realised i m old fashioned values inside though modern outside , even my lawywe said that !


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I have never cheated and never will. My x cheating makes no difference on that. That said I find it easier to relate somewhat to my GF who also was cheated on. Some things only those of us who have been betrayed can really get. For me it's important my SO gets what I went through.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

tripad said:


> Yup their favourite catch phrase to me is they pray n god forgives so their sin is forgiven . N they laugh .
> 
> So that explains why they dont want to return my money . It is a big sum . Enough to buy a home for myself n children .
> 
> Took me a long time to get myself n children back to god n church .


*Just because I, as a Christian, have received salvation does not mean that I will be exempt from standing before the Heavenly Father, as well as all of those that I've transgressed against, to give an accounting of my earthly transgressions ~ far from it! I know in my heart that I will ultimately be forgiven, as long as I extend forgiveness to those who have transgressed against me, but it, in no way eliminates my ultimate act of confession to any and all the parties that I may have aggrieved!

And quite frankly, I'm so very happy that God works in that most loving way! *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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