# Pardon the interuption, is it normal for a heterosexual man to prefer anal sex?



## salvation2011

My husband and I used to engage in this before marriage but I tore once and havent since. After we married our overall sex decreased from pretty much every night to once a week (sometimes less). He talks about that alot, and plays "there" alot... especially since getting advice from Enchantment to be more playful and shave to clean up things down there. I asked him if we would have more sex if we did it that way again and he said "probably." So I asked why and he answered "because its tighter." Im not "loose" down there at all. I had c-sections so my 2 children didnt stretch things out, and I have always been tight and he has trouble getting in "there" sometimes... so why does he need the anal tightness? Is he a closet homosexual or is this normal? Thanks in advance


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

salvation2011;564359
a closet homosexual [/QUOTE said:


> possibly.
> 
> i have done it a few times but in no way would i prefer it over regular intercourse.
> 
> seems a bit strange to me.


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## AFEH

You tore yet he still wants to do it? That’s incredible, quite unbelievable. There is something not right about him. It is in his mind this stuff about anal sex, that’s all it is.

I think he, in fact both of you should get yourselves off and spend time with a sex therapist or maybe for your husband a psychologist (it appears he has no empathy or compassion for you, it’s a very serious mental defect) so you can enjoy intercourse as it is designed by nature to be.


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## Kobo

He gave you his answer, it's tighter. I'm also guessing it's probably something he hasn't done much of so there is a newness to it. Not to mention if you actually enjoy it he probably gets a kick out of his "freak" of a wife. Now you need to let him know how this makes you feel if you don't like anal sex or are feeling insecure because he seems to prefer anal sex with you. I wouldn't make the jump to him being homosexual. I think you're setting yourself up for failure by jumping to that line of thought.


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## 2sick

salvation2011 said:


> My husband and I used to engage in this before marriage but I tore once and havent since. After we married our overall sex decreased from pretty much every night to once a week (sometimes less). He talks about that alot, and plays "there" alot... especially since getting advice from Enchantment to be more playful and shave to clean up things down there. I asked him if we would have more sex if we did it that way again and he said "probably." So I asked why and he answered "because its tighter." Im not "loose" down there at all. I had c-sections so my 2 children didnt stretch things out, and I have always been tight and he has trouble getting in "there" sometimes... so why does he need the anal tightness? Is he a closet homosexual or is this normal? Thanks in advance


:rofl::rofl: I don't think there too many men out there that don't get off on anal!!! OMG If willing my h would want it every night! Especially if you are clean shaven dear goodness!! So I say don't worry about him having closet tendencies...Thumbs up to Enchantment (yup pun intended!!)


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## anotherguy

Hm.

For me, its important to have a 2 way street...as it were. I had a girlfriend in college who was really into it and would actually ask for it - which was very entertaining and fun.. MOSTLY because she really got off on it.

Now my wife.. nope. No interest there, and I consequently dont have much interest in pressing the issue. If she isnt enjoying herself - Im not enjoying myself either. So - I guess you could say that my 'preference' is whatever works for the both of us. 

As I get older, it seems I focus a little less on myself... no thats not right.. I am still very interested in myself when we are having sex.. but I realize that sex is without exception, is much much better when she is into it. I guess in that sense I am like pavlovs dog. 

Guess what I am saying is that if it isnt your cup of tea (or hot chocolate... sorry), than I would make sure he knows that. If he suggests thats required to have frequent sex.. than that sort of is another topic altogether.

I think the 'tight' thing is a cop-out explanation. I believe anal sex is a very complicated thing - and can be mixed up with all sorts of things like novelty, feelings/projection of dominance and submission, 'naughty' taboo, etc. Yeah, entry can be tighter, but it is also not as tight...uhm... further in. Its just different. It can be a fun item on the menu, but from what you are saying - you should be careful not to set yourself up for a routine you dont particularly want.

I know guys once they get what they like.

Yeah this is pretty vulgar (chris rock) but listen to the part about guys. kinda funny.

Chris Rock - Differences Between Men And Women - YouTube


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## nice777guy

Sounds more "Selfish" than "gay." 

I've always kind of thought that as long as a woman was involved, its not gay.

Was the "tear" ancient history - or something recent?


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## Conrad

If you don't mind the question, how is he in the "girth" department?

So many people focus on length.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

Conrad said:


> If you don't mind the question, how is he in the "girth" department?


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## Enchantment

salvation2011 said:


> My husband and I used to engage in this before marriage but I tore once and havent since. After we married our overall sex decreased from pretty much every night to once a week (sometimes less). He talks about that alot, and plays "there" alot... especially since getting advice from Enchantment to be more playful and shave to clean up things down there. I asked him if we would have more sex if we did it that way again and he said "probably." So I asked why and he answered "because its tighter." Im not "loose" down there at all. I had c-sections so my 2 children didnt stretch things out, and I have always been tight and he has trouble getting in "there" sometimes... so why does he need the anal tightness? Is he a closet homosexual or is this normal? Thanks in advance


I had to go back and look at the comments that I made in your other thread - being more 'playful' and 'flirty' with your H (my original comments to you) and possibly feeling compelled to do something you find distasteful or painful are two different things entirely. 

I think that like anything, but especially anal sex - it needs to be a completely consensual act. You should not feel coerced by your H to participate in this if you do not want to - especially in light of the fact that it caused you problems and pain before. His lack of concern about how you feel about it is troublesome.

I think anal has probably always had either some amount of fascination or repugnance for men since the dawn of time. However, it seems like it is even more of an acceptable practice, especially for hetero men, in more recent years - perhaps it's the preponderance of internet pornography in the last couple of decades with anal featured that has changed the outlook of some men to think about it in more of a mainstream way.

Believe me, if he doesn't feel you are 'tight' enough vaginally, there are some tricks and things that you can do there. that_girl started a thread a couple of weeks ago about that, that you can search for.

Best wishes.


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## nice777guy

Conrad said:


> If you don't mind the question, how is he in the "girth" department?
> 
> So many people focus on length.


So - you're more of a girth guy, eh?!?

Its OK - everyone's different...


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## 2sick

Enchantment has a point, being flirty is far different than accepting pain. I haven't read of your other posts so sorry if my initial comment was too crass. Based on this post it seemed like your only concern was possible homosexual tendencies of h. If you are uncomfortable doing it then you should definitely communicate that to him.


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## salvation2011

anotherguy said:


> Hm.
> 
> For me, its important to have a 2 way street...as it were. I had a girlfriend in college who was really into it and would actually ask for it - which was very entertaining and fun.. MOSTLY because she really got off on it.
> 
> Now my wife.. nope. No interest there, and I consequently dont have much interest in pressing the issue. If she isnt enjoying herself - Im not enjoying myself either. So - I guess you could say that my 'preference' is whatever works for the both of us.
> 
> As I get older, it seems I focus a little less on myself... no thats not right.. I am still very interested in myself when we are having sex.. but I realize that sex is without exception, is much much better when she is into it. I guess in that sense I am like pavlovs dog.
> 
> Guess what I am saying is that if it isnt your cup of tea (or hot chocolate... sorry), than I would make sure he knows that. If he suggests thats required to have frequent sex.. than that sort of is another topic altogether.
> 
> I think the 'tight' thing is a cop-out explanation. I believe anal sex is a very complicated thing - and can be mixed up with all sorts of things like novelty, feelings/projection of dominance and submission, 'naughty' taboo, etc. Yeah, entry can be tighter, but it is also not as tight...uhm... further in. Its just different. It can be a fun item on the menu, but from what you are saying - you should be careful not to set yourself up for a routine you dont particularly want.
> 
> I know guys once they get what they like.
> 
> Yeah this is pretty vulgar (chris rock) but listen to the part about guys. kinda funny.
> 
> Chris Rock - Differences Between Men And Women - YouTube


Please dont find me offensive for what I am about to say, but I actually loved it. I just got too scared after I tore and I dont think I need to explain how painful it was. When my husband is playing around back there now, it is very arousing to me. he says sometimes now while he is playing there "remember how much you loved this?"

Maybe he thinks Im bored because prior to Enchantment's advice, I was just continuing on with what we had been doing, not adding new things. he has a renewed interest in sex again since I trimmed up/cleaned up down there. Perhaps I cleaned too much? Maybe he thought because I cleaned back there I was trying to hint something. 

I love not talking so much about stuff in our relationship, but the longer we are together it is getting harder to guess what is really on his mind. Im certain we will figure this out, we always have had an ease. Its my mind that was wandering to the "is this normal" category simply because he was beginning to really seek it out again with a fervor. Perhaps it was just my doing since I, as I already mentioned cleaned it all! My poor husband probably is wondering what i was thinking! Thanks for putting my fears to rest

Enchantment, if you read over here on this page, a big thank you!!!


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## salvation2011

nice777guy said:


> Sounds more "Selfish" than "gay."
> 
> I've always kind of thought that as long as a woman was involved, its not gay.
> 
> Was the "tear" ancient history - or something recent?


The tear was a long time ago, about 4 years.


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## salvation2011

Conrad said:


> If you don't mind the question, how is he in the "girth" department?
> 
> So many people focus on length.


He is average girth I guess, I actually dont have much to compare. My high school boyfriend was small. We didnt actually have sex for 3 years (we dated on and off), and then when we finally did, I asked if he was inside yet. Another boyfriend prior to my husband was 10 inches and I guess thick. It would hurt at first pretty much everytime we had intercourse, but I guess that is on the big side. My husband is closer to that than the small one, but it definitely doesnt hurt ever as I am always turned on with him (even before we are intimate), its just right actually. All I have to do is think of him or look at him, but he insists on going down there anyway. He also likes my old lady breasts as they have grown since having children, so he plays there as well.


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## Kobo

salvation2011 said:


> He is average girth I guess, I actually dont have much to compare. My high school boyfriend was small. We didnt actually have sex for 3 years (we dated on and off), and then when we finally did, I asked if he was inside yet. Another boyfriend prior to my husband was 10 inches and I guess thick. It would hurt at first pretty much everytime we had intercourse, but I guess that is on the big side. My husband is closer to that than the small one, but it definitely doesnt hurt ever as I am always turned on with him (even before we are intimate), its just right actually. All I have to do is think of him or look at him, but he insists on going down there anyway. He also likes my old lady breasts as they have grown since having children, so he plays there as well.


Your husband sounds far from homosexual.


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## salvation2011

Enchantment said:


> I had to go back and look at the comments that I made in your other thread - being more 'playful' and 'flirty' with your H (my original comments to you) and possibly feeling compelled to do something you find distasteful or painful are two different things entirely.
> 
> I think that like anything, but especially anal sex - it needs to be a completely consensual act. You should not feel coerced by your H to participate in this if you do not want to - especially in light of the fact that it caused you problems and pain before. His lack of concern about how you feel about it is troublesome.
> 
> I think anal has probably always had either some amount of fascination or repugnance for men since the dawn of time. However, it seems like it is even more of an acceptable practice, especially for hetero men, in more recent years - perhaps it's the preponderance of internet pornography in the last couple of decades with anal featured that has changed the outlook of some men to think about it in more of a mainstream way.
> 
> Believe me, if he doesn't feel you are 'tight' enough vaginally, there are some tricks and things that you can do there. that_girl started a thread a couple of weeks ago about that, that you can search for.
> 
> Best wishes.


Here you are Enchantment! Im a little slow at figuring out how to scroll around on here. A big thank you for your advice, however, I still cant muster up the courage to hand him my panties

Maybe Im not tight enough vaginally, as I was typing another response I realized how large my last bf before my husband was and it hurt but not alot, and he was above average (I read that average is 6 inches and he was 10 inches). 

Its definitely not a situaiton where he is trying to get me to do something I dont want to. Im scared to again after tearing. I also dont want to do it too much since I have read about women losing poop out of there because muscles get stretched. If anyone wants to put those fears to rest and tell me that my tear from 4 years ago has healed, I may give it another chance.


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## Conrad

nice777guy said:


> So - you're more of a girth guy, eh?!?
> 
> Its OK - everyone's different...


I'm relieved you approve.


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## Conrad

salvation2011 said:


> He is average girth I guess, I actually dont have much to compare. My high school boyfriend was small. We didnt actually have sex for 3 years (we dated on and off), and then when we finally did, I asked if he was inside yet. Another boyfriend prior to my husband was 10 inches and I guess thick. It would hurt at first pretty much everytime we had intercourse, but I guess that is on the big side. My husband is closer to that than the small one, but it definitely doesnt hurt ever as I am always turned on with him (even before we are intimate), its just right actually. All I have to do is think of him or look at him, but he insists on going down there anyway. He also likes my old lady breasts as they have grown since having children, so he plays there as well.


Those are the kinds of questions men hate to hear


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## nice777guy

"Are you in yet" will actually cause "turtling." Makes a bad situation much, much worse.


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## Unsure in Seattle

I don't see how anal sex with a woman could possibly be construed as "gay."

That being said, you have to *both* want it and you shouldn't just blindly submit unless you want to. 

You'd have to participate in a lot of anal sex without lubrication and relaxing and so forth to cause any permanent damage.


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## anotherguy

nice777guy said:


> "Are you in yet" will actually cause "turtling." Makes a bad situation much, much worse.


like throwing a monkey wrench into an empty closet?

(sorry)


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## PHTlump

AFEH said:


> You tore yet he still wants to do it? That’s incredible, quite unbelievable. There is something not right about him. It is in his mind this stuff about anal sex, that’s all it is.
> 
> I think he, in fact both of you should get yourselves off and spend time with a sex therapist or maybe for your husband a psychologist (it appears he has no empathy or compassion for you, it’s a very serious mental defect) so you can enjoy intercourse as it is designed by nature to be.


I think AFEH is on to something here. Your husband is, without a doubt, a serial killer. :slap:


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## AFEH

PHTlump said:


> I think AFEH is on to something here. Your husband is, without a doubt, a serial killer. :slap:


That’s just deluded. Another mental health defect.


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## SimplyAmorous

2sick said:


> :rofl::rofl: I don't think there too many men out there that don't get off on anal!!! OMG If willing my h would want it every night! Especially if you are clean shaven dear goodness!! So I say don't worry about him having closet tendencies...Thumbs up to Enchantment (yup pun intended!!)


Not always true.... my husband wouldn't touch ANAL with a ten foot pole, he has ZERO interest in my crack and I am not allowed to mess with his. I have come to the conclusion on this....so it seems to me, the higher testosterone a man is.... the more he "may" desire this act... Doggie is not even something my husband cares about. It was only with my suggesting we even tried that.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

SimplyAmorous said:


> my husband wouldn't touch ANAL with a ten foot pole


i will, with anything i got.

if you lick it, is it still considered anal sex? :scratchhead:

and almost no doggie 

is he nutz?


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## SimplyAmorous

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> and almost no doggie
> 
> is he nutz?


Some would think so, wouldn' they!? No, he is just very "tame" . I need to bring out the ROVER in him or I would rarely see it. It keeps me challenged in the bedroom anyway- he at least desires the big bang every day, so I am not going to complain. 

Anal holds no fantasies for me at all as a woman, so It is fine he has no care - or I would likely be pestering him about it. So a blessing really.


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## PHTlump

salvation2011 said:


> I asked him if we would have more sex if we did it that way again and he said "probably." So I asked why and he answered "because its tighter." Im not "loose" down there at all. I had c-sections so my 2 children didnt stretch things out, and I have always been tight and he has trouble getting in "there" sometimes... so why does he need the anal tightness? Is he a closet homosexual or is this normal? Thanks in advance


Your husband is telling the truth. Regardless of whether you've had children, or done exercises, your anus is tighter than your vagina. Your vagina was designed to allow a baby to pass through it. Your anus was designed for a smaller capacity.


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## PHTlump

AFEH said:


> That’s just deluded. Another mental health defect.


:lol:
Do I have Sarcasm Personality Disorder? How about Can't Let Stupid Comments Pass On An Internet Thread Without Commenting Disorder? You can be straight with me, doctor. I know you don't have much to go on, but that's never stopped you before, right?


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## marriedinpei

I simply have to weigh in here 

A couple's birth control practices may influence things too. For example, for those using the rythum method, anal can be incorporated to allow love making during a time of the month it would otherwise happen. Or, a couple who uses condoms for birth control might go bareback for anal. Or, based on my own experience anal with condoms gives the man way more feel than vaginal with condoms.

While anal is thought of as being painful, disgusting etc. by some, it is thought of as just a bit naughty and very nice alternative within marriage.

No doubt at a time before artificial birth control, some couples used anal to keep their family size under some control.


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## LimboGirl

marriedinpei said:


> I simply have to weigh in here
> 
> A couple's birth control practices may influence things too. For example, for those using the rythum method, anal can be incorporated to allow love making during a time of the month it would otherwise happen. Or, a couple who uses condoms for birth control might go bareback for anal. Or, based on my own experience anal with condoms gives the man way more feel than vaginal with condoms.
> 
> While anal is thought of as being painful, disgusting etc. by some, it is thought of as just a bit naughty and very nice alternative within marriage.
> 
> No doubt at a time before artificial birth control, some couples used anal to keep their family size under some control.


My grandparents must not have liked it. They had 15 kids. This thought never entered my head before this thread. Grandparents and anal sex . Yuk :rofl::rofl:


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## NaturalHeart

I have never exerienced anything penetrating in that area


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## OhhShiney

PHTlump said:


> Your husband is telling the truth. Regardless of whether you've had children, or done exercises, your anus is tighter than your vagina. Your vagina was designed to allow a baby to pass through it. Your anus was designed for a smaller capacity.


Hmm. Once you are able to learn to relax and with lots of lube, the anus may not be feel much tighter than a vagina. In fact, once you get past the the anus itself, things get pretty loose, and it can feel much less engulfing than a vagina. Kind of like a rubber band at the base and then nothing. And, pardon the pun, but I never seemed to bottom out as I do with a vagina. 

IMHO, there's nothing abnormal about a man liking anal, but given your history of tearing, it seems that should be considered by your husband. I can't make medical advice, but patience, communication, and lots of lube are critical. From my experience, if it's tight enough, there may not be enough lubrication. 

I know the number of kids born impacts things, but my experience has been that the Kegel exercises really work. My wife had two children, and she's far tighter than well lubricated anal I had in the past. 

As for women preferring/liking anal, I have had different experiences. I had accidental anal with my first girlfriend, but wouldn't do it again. A college girlfriend was an anything-but-vaginal-saving-it-for-marriage person who managed to orgasm with very little stimulation during anal. My ex wife and I ended up with very infrequent sex, and it was usually anal as she had vaginal pain post hysterectomy (long story). She'd come about half the time. My wife is a "don't go there" kinda person, and I really don't feel like making it an issue, as everything else is great. So I don't go there.


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## ozwang

god damn theres alot of threads about anal on this forum lmao:rofl:


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## RClawson

salvation2011 said:


> Here you are Enchantment! Im a little slow at figuring out how to scroll around on here. A big thank you for your advice, however, I still cant muster up the courage to hand him my panties
> 
> Maybe Im not tight enough vaginally, as I was typing another response I realized how large my last bf before my husband was and it hurt but not alot, and he was above average (I read that average is 6 inches and he was 10 inches).
> 
> Its definitely not a situaiton where he is trying to get me to do something I dont want to. Im scared to again after tearing. I also dont want to do it too much since I have read about women losing poop out of there because muscles get stretched. If anyone wants to put those fears to rest and tell me that my tear from 4 years ago has healed, I may give it another chance.



Your tear is called a fissure and they can happen without anal sex. It healed long ago. There has been a great deal of good advice in this thread especially about lots of lube and lots of foreplay.

My W gets very turned on from any kind of stimulation in that area and while she enjoyed it when we tried it she kind of has a been there done that attitude but everything else in regards to stimulation back there is fair game and just enhances the activity with us.


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## SadSoul1982

Yes. Whether it be anal, vaginal or oral intercourse it can be perfectly normal for a straight man to prefer one over the other.

Anal for instance:

Naughty..... Dirty.... puts the man in a sense of power and control over the submissive... and "some" woman really do enjoy the feeling of anal sex. Most don't... but some do.


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## Claude Veritas

Those Women of Awareness,infact love anal and are for it, they feel they are all explored , and they find it exciting and erotic and finding it painfully pleasurable in heights of passionate conjugations, The Man feels he has her explored and loved powerfully in consensual domination and getting himself his due of pleasure of The Carnal Knowledge.


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## tacoma

It`s perfectly normal as long as he wants anal with a female.

If he wants it with a man he`s not hetero, but not necessarily "abnormal" either.


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## ren

salvation2011 said:


> Is he a closet homosexual or is this normal? Thanks in advance


I think you might be confused about what 'homosexual' means. Unless you are a man, enjoying anal sex with you doesn't make him gay.


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## PBear

ren said:


> I think you might be confused about what 'homosexual' means. Unless you are a man, enjoying anal sex with you doesn't make him gay.


Exactly. Homosexual guys give each other blow-jobs too... Does that mean he's gay if he enjoys blow-jobs from you?

C


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