# I don't know what to do for the best :(



## just_want_happiness (Feb 7, 2013)

I have been with my husband for 10 years and married for nearly 2. The past year has been very difficult for me, he had become an unpleasant person to be with, I did everything around the house, sorted bills, did the shopping whilst juggling a stressful job and I became seriously unhappy. He would come home on week nights drunk and shout and argue with me about stupid things, I have felt so alone and unloved for a long time now. 
One thing I need to make very clear is that my husband is the hardest person to talk to, he always turns it into a big row and I hate confrontation, I had tried to tell him several times that I was unhappy with how things were, but he just got stroppy and it got brushed under the carpet. 
Recently, things have come to a head, we had a row before I went on a girl's night out and I went out feeling angry. I ended up very drunk and ended up kissing a male friend, it meant nothing and was just one peck, I know its still wrong but it happened. My husband found out the very next morning as an old friend of his saw me. He was understandably very angry at first. But after a chat about why I had done it, he told me he would change and wanted to be with me. 
Trouble is, I have lost alot of love for him over the past year, I have spent so much time being unhappy and I don't know if I can ever feel the same for him again...I think it may be too late.
I never thought this would happen to us, but he has become someone very different to the man I married.
He still loves me like crazy, I still care for him and don't want to hurt him, but I want to be happy. I can't go on pretending.
Advice would be much appreciated!!


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

I don't think things can ever get back the same as it was before. If it does, it will happen again.

What you really want is for it to be new, different and better than before.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Find things that will build your respect for him and him for you.


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## just_want_happiness (Feb 7, 2013)

thank you for your advice so far, I am at a bit of a crossroads really, I don't want to try and make it work and string him along, to then decide he is no longer the right person for me further down the road...it would break his heart! But at the same time, I don't want to make any rash decisions that I may regret.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Just remember, it may be a decision you have to make, but you don't have to make it today.


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## alittlebitlost (Feb 11, 2013)

I'm 21 and have been in a relationship with someone 7 years older than me since I was 18. We've had lots of ups and downs over the years and I feel I have grown as a person a lot over this time. I've not been 'happy' with him for a long time now and I am racked with guilt over how I feel. Up until last summer he was v much in control of the relationship and didn't treat me how I should be treated. I left him and within hours he was on my door begging, promising to change etc. I said I wasn't sure how I felt I'd been SO sure splitting with him was for the best but I'm soft and I couldn't bare breaking his heart. We got back together, since then he has been the worlds most perfect bf, but I just don't feel like im IN love with him anymore. The thought of splitting with him and breaking his heart is more than I can stand but I spend every minute of the day hating myself for how I feel. I know he could be everything I wanted, and I wish I knew why I don't feel how I used to but I don't. All my friends/family say to split with him as its fairer on him long run but I feel such a bad person. When I look at him I see such a sweet, caring person who wants us to work and I love him so much as a person I just don't think of him in that way anymore. I don't think to be affectionate, I avoid sex, I'm happy not to see him. I have not met anyone else but I do imagine meeting other people and having other relationships. I love this person a lot and it kills me to think of hurting him, is this enough to stay with someone?


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