# It is over...what do I do?



## jaclynnbaker (Jan 30, 2009)

well, i have been fighting it for sometime, but my marriagw is as good as over. I don't know what to do anymore. I have become a woman he hates in the process of tryin to become what he wants which is something I can't be and I am not. we are yound and have 3 small children. I don't want this, bt am certain ihe does. what do i do?????


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

jaclynnbaker-
What are his main complaints about you?
And what are yours about him?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Please give counseling a try before you throw in the towel.


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## jaclynnbaker (Jan 30, 2009)

his complaints about me
I am a &%$(#

enough said....

my complaints about him
he does not "love" me anymore
he does not feel "love" towards me anymore in the sense that he wants to be near me. He tells me as much. He actually says that he does not want to be around me anymore and that he can't stand me. Then he buys me things to "make me tollerable" for a time. Which to me is bull crap. I want REAL love...I love him, but I am tired of it and would rather find someone new that has "warm fuzzies" for me than to get such a wonderful becautiful gift of true love as the orchid that he just bought me and the ring he just got me...they have made me cry so much, but he did not have real feelings for me when he got those things. If he did....I would be in heaven. Heaven for me would be THIS man being infatuated with me once again....loving me in a new and crazy way as he really NEVER has. I love him so and want to share that crazy love with someone...HIM. Is there anything I could do to awaken that? Or does it sound pointless?????


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Now that you explained it that way, I can see the problem. You love each other, but you aren't "in love" with each other. That happens as most of us settle into a marriage. Having three young children can put a damper on romance too. The problem with moving on to a new relationship is that it too will grow stale if you doing tend to it. So, at this time I strongly recommend you read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It will help! I can see from what you have written you and your spouse definitely speak two different love languages. Don't rule out counseling either. I would really try those things because divorce is no picnic either. Also, those children are worth the effort--they really need a loving and peaceful environment.

Good luck!


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## mommydrgnfly (Apr 29, 2009)

I can't really give good advice to you right now because yours and my situation sound almost simliar.. but hang in there.. no matter what remind yourself you are a great person and are strong!


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