# Do women like sex?



## Vtecthis (Apr 8, 2011)

I ask this question because me wife has told me on many occasions that she does not like sex.

She will still make love to me, and after a couple of minutes of kissing and touching she gets into it... Sometimes REALLY into it.  We have been married for 2 years now and she seemed to like it before we got married, but as soon as we tied the knot, everything changed.

She has told me that it is not me, or anything I do or don't do that she doesn't like, it's just sex it's self that she doesn't like. Which is very confusing to me... There has been only a coulple of times she hasn't had an orgasm, but 99% of the time she does.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Like many questions, I'd say "It depends"... My current partner (who is female, BTW) is as much into sex as anyone, male or female, that I've ever met. And some of the women on here are even worse (better?)...

How old is she? Some women see an increase in their drive/desire as they get closer to 40.

C


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## Vtecthis (Apr 8, 2011)

PBear said:


> Like many questions, I'd say "It depends"... My current partner (who is female, BTW) is as much into sex as anyone, male or female, that I've ever met. And some of the women on here are even worse (better?)...
> 
> How old is she? Some women see an increase in their drive/desire as they get closer to 40.
> 
> C


She is 24. We just had our first son 4 1/2 months ago, so I understand the whole "not into it after baby thing", but she has been this way since we got married, so I am just curious to hear what everybody has to say.

Thanks!


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## _alice_ (Apr 19, 2011)

I'm wondering if she worded this correctly because it sounds to me like she likes sex just fine. How often do you have sex?


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## abbylee (Apr 20, 2011)

I am a woman who really really likes sex. I believe that it is an intimate important vital part of a relationship. I also believe it is part of who you are. It is a huge release, to have a sexual experience with your partner is a huge trust and love thing. I love sex, unfortunately my h is not as into the act as I am. I have tried everything, everything! And now I take what I can get, and try to make the most out of it without getting my feelings hurt, much. Yes I feel rejected and like I am not enough. I just know that my drive is much higher than his... So to answer your question, YES woman LOVE sex.


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## Vtecthis (Apr 8, 2011)

_alice_ said:


> I'm wondering if she worded this correctly because it sounds to me like she likes sex just fine. How often do you have sex?


We have sex roughly once every week or two. I would like it every other day, and we had a pretty intimate conversation about this last week and when she gets off her time of the month we are going to try some things to up the frequency. She has told me more than once that she could go months without it and be completely happy... That just doesn;t make any sense to me at all.


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## Vtecthis (Apr 8, 2011)

abbylee said:


> I am a woman who really really likes sex. I believe that it is an intimate important vital part of a relationship. I also believe it is part of who you are. It is a huge release, to have a sexual experience with your partner is a huge trust and love thing. I love sex, unfortunately my h is not as into the act as I am. I have tried everything, everything! And now I take what I can get, and try to make the most out of it without getting my feelings hurt, much. Yes I feel rejected and like I am not enough. I just know that my drive is much higher than his... So to answer your question, YES woman LOVE sex.


Abbylee,

What makes you like sex? Is it the emotional side or the physical side or both?

Thanks!


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## notaname (Feb 4, 2011)

Are you her "first?"
Has she ever masturbated?
Does she ever fantasize?
Is she from a religious upbringing or culture where sex is a sin, taboo or highly regulated?
Is she nursing the baby?

Have you ever been able to bring out her inner sex kitten?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Vtecthis said:


> What makes you like sex? Is it the emotional side or the physical side or both?


I started to love sex ever since I had my first orgasm. That was 20 years ago, when I was 18!

I think I have a man's sex drive in a woman's body. 

With my husband, sex enjoyment is both emotional and physical. I love orgasms, especially now I am at this age, orgasms are extremely strong, the twitches are very powerful. I also like to be with my husband, I like to be on my husband's body! I like to be in his arms.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

notaname said:


> Are you her "first?"
> Has she ever masturbated?
> Does she ever fantasize?
> Is she from a religious upbringing or culture where sex is a sin, taboo or highly regulated?
> ...


These are real important considerations. I had no desire for sex when I first got married in my early 20s. I di not think of it but i loved affection - kissing hugging, gentle, caresses etc. My husband was and is good at starting slowly and not proceeding until I am ready for the next step. I get arroused after non sexual caresses and ready after slowly progressive sexual caresses. The grab and grope or right to the genitals would not work for me. Slow and steady, and proceeding when I am ready. That does the trick. 

How do you know she enjoy it or is not faking orgasms? Many women fake it are there physiologic signs that she has an orgasm? How long does it take between the time you approach her until you have an orgasm? What has changed after marriage? Do you take less time with foreplay now, any changes in the way you treat her from before and after marriage. 

I have acquaintances who say that some men seem to change after marriage and the change unsettled the wife. Thet are done with the chase and find no reason to treat his wife as athe same way they did as a girlfriend. Some men pay less attention to her, talk less, reveal bad habits or become careless with apearence or hygeine. Some men even shorten or stop foreplay or grope their wives breast or butt. Not saying this is you but just some avenues for exploration. 

You don't have to jump through hoops to make love to your wife but you do have to approach it taking into account her slower arrousal and need to be warmed up. Also her need for reassurance that you love her. Some men think that just by the act of marrige that they have demonstrated their love so their is no need to say it. Women need to hear it but not too frequently at unexpexpcted times, occasionally look at her deeply and tell her you love her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

The OP said that once the ring was on her finger, she suddenly lost interest. Sounds like her idea was to catch a mouse and once the trap was sprung, she saw no need to replace the cheese. She liked sex well enough before the ring was in place.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> The OP said that once the ring was on her finger, she suddenly lost interest. Sounds like her idea was to catch a mouse and once the trap was sprung, she saw no need to replace the cheese. She liked sex well enough before the ring was in place.


I view this is a very bad attitude to have! 

You get the ring, you get his heart at that time, but if you are not careful, you may lose it one day! 

Marriage is a life long relationship, if you don't work hard to keep his heart, then you might lose him one day, what's the point?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I agree it's a bad attitude, but not an uncommon one. An exchange of sex for security is the oldest transaction in history. I've read many posts of women who, after marriage, decided for one reason or another to deny their husbands sex or affection. Haven't read one which indicated they were so unhappy with their husbands that they refused to let him pay bills. Can't recall any posts of women involved in true dating scenarios (not cohabitating) who decided to cut their sexual partners off. I'm guessing most are wise enough to know that would be the end of their relationship. Once a ring, a child, or mingled finances enter the equation, other leverage can be used to keep a guy around even if sex is withheld.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I don't really believe this. I think most women love the man they are going to marry and can't imagine there high sex drive will change when they are in the honeymoon phase. They just don't know why it goes away.

But most of the time I can bet there needs are not being met and that is why they are not meeting his needs.

me i love sex, and I know what I need in order to make feel attracted to my fiance and am honest about it, and he lets me know what he wants from me too. You have to be honest and willing to work on it and not just take, to give give give too, without becoming a doormat. It's a balance.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

According to the post, this guy didn't have a chance to gradually fall out of favor. The post said they got married and she got a permanent headache. His sexual skills didn't disappear during the ceremony. She liked them before. She didn't like them after. Easy litmus test: Apart from the actual sex act, does she spontaneously and regularly treat him with loving and nurturing gestures which she initiates? If she loved him but actual penetration is her problem, she would initiate other means to give him pleasure because that's what loving people do....try to please the one they love. Is she just more of a passive participant, caring little of what he thinks, wants, needs, eats, but primarily focused on what she wants? If so, she is a consumer and that apparently was her plan all along.


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## Vtecthis (Apr 8, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> These are real important considerations. I had no desire for sex when I first got married in my early 20s. I di not think of it but i loved affection - kissing hugging, gentle, caresses etc. My husband was and is good at starting slowly and not proceeding until I am ready for the next step. I get arroused after non sexual caresses and ready after slowly progressive sexual caresses. The grab and grope or right to the genitals would not work for me. Slow and steady, and proceeding when I am ready. That does the trick.
> 
> How do you know she enjoy it or is not faking orgasms? Many women fake it are there physiologic signs that she has an orgasm? How long does it take between the time you approach her until you have an orgasm? What has changed after marriage? Do you take less time with foreplay now, any changes in the way you treat her from before and after marriage.
> 
> ...


No, I am not her first. She has masturbated in the past, but doesn't do it anymore. She is also not breastfeeding anymore and hasn't for over 3 months.

I honestly can say what has changed in me is the amount I approach her and how I approach her due to her constantly saying no. For example: She'll be in the kitchen and I'll come up behind her, and give her a hug from behind, whisper in her ear that I love her and before I can even start to kiss her neck, she will wiggle out of my arms and tell me to not start anything. Or I will be rubbing her neck and and shoulders, start to kiss her neck and she will do the same thing. Before we got married, she would close her eyes and allow herself to enjoy the moment, even if it didn't lead to sex.


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## Vtecthis (Apr 8, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> According to the post, this guy didn't have a chance to gradually fall out of favor. The post said they got married and she got a permanent headache. His sexual skills didn't disappear during the ceremony. She liked them before. She didn't like them after. Easy litmus test: Apart from the actual sex act, does she spontaneously and regularly treat him with loving and nurturing gestures which she initiates? If she loved him but actual penetration is her problem, she would initiate other means to give him pleasure because that's what loving people do....try to please the one they love. Is she just more of a passive participant, caring little of what he thinks, wants, needs, eats, but primarily focused on what she wants? If so, she is a consumer and that apparently was her plan all along.


Exactly. On our week long honeymoon to Disney World, we made love twice. 

She will do things for me, like bring me coffee once in a while at work and will make dinner 1 to 2 nights a week. She has gotten WAY better with her attitude lately. She's a lot more loving and gentle in the way she interacts with me. Maybe this is because of the baby?

But as far as doing other things instead of penetration... Oral was great before we got married, but it is completely off the menu now and a HJ is something she would never to. But if we are having sex and I "finish" before her, she has no problem with me going down on her.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

An occasional coffee and she cooks maybe 5-10% of the meals you eat. This is an example of her being "more loving"? What was she doing before she started showering you with all this affection?


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Vtecthis said:


> No, I am not her first. She has masturbated in the past, but doesn't do it anymore. She is also not breastfeeding anymore and hasn't for over 3 months.
> 
> I honestly can say what has changed in me is the amount I approach her and how I approach her due to her constantly saying no. For example: She'll be in the kitchen and I'll come up behind her, and give her a hug from behind, whisper in her ear that I love her and before I can even start to kiss her neck, she will wiggle out of my arms and tell me to not start anything. Or I will be rubbing her neck and and shoulders, start to kiss her neck and she will do the same thing. Before we got married, she would close her eyes and allow herself to enjoy the moment, even if it didn't lead to sex.


How much non sexual touching do you do?

Do you caress her and hug her, hold her hand, touch her hair and face, kiss her etc without thinking "I could be in" or as a pathway to sex? If you do a lot of non sexual touching all through the day, she will relax when you touch her, and not tense up, and she will eventually let her self relax and then she will be more receptive to your sexual touches.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

My wife would be content to let me perform "non-sexual" touching upon her for the rest of her natural life and it won't make a bit of difference. I've brushed hair, gave back rubs, foot rubs, painted toenails, fingernails for years. It makes no difference in my case. The only thing that changed in this guy's life to account for her loss of libido is he put a ring on her finger. If she gets 8 hrs of sleep each night, she has 112 waking hours a week. Of that time (according to the OP) at her best, she devotes maybe 2 hours a week to him (and cooking dinner isn't exclusively for him). I bet before they got married, she devoted more than 2 hours a day exclusively on him. If he were a child, she'd be in jail for child neglect. If he were a dog, she'd be in jail for animal cruelty. He's an adult male, so neglecting his needs is somehow acceptable.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I never said that her neglecting him was OK, in any way. I was merely asking a question in order to better understand the situation.

For the record I know plenty of men who stop paying attention to their wives once they have married them, they stop noticing them, paying them compliments, stop non sexual touching, stop talking to them etc. Neither examples are good.

If we know we are contributing to the situation then we can change things and see what happens, but we can't try without all the knowledge and information, and we can't advise without it either.

FYI I am a very giving person (I think) and believe I have been taken advantage of in the past, i think my ex thought i would give and give and give without any real effort from him and for my needs. it just doesn't work that way.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Not sure how long his honeymoon was, but sex only twice on the honeymoon seems a little stingy to me. Surely he didn't have time to neglect her sufficiently between the church and Disney for her to lose her previous interest in sex. Love is a gift, not something earned. Sure, neglect it long enough and it'll die. Marriage is a service of love. Selfishness has no place in it. His attention should be on her needs and her's should be on his. He seems to barely show up on her radar screen. Anyone who says they love someone but they deliberately withhold basic needs when they are in a position to fulfill them is just plain lying, IMO. Anyone who has experienced rejection would not inflict it upon anyone unless they hated that person or simply had very little compassion for them.
If a mother told you she loved her child but she refused to feed it, would you believe her?


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> Not sure how long his honeymoon was, but sex only twice on the honeymoon seems a little stingy to me. Surely he didn't have time to neglect her sufficiently between the church and Disney for her to lose her previous interest in sex. Love is a gift, not something earned. Sure, neglect it long enough and it'll die. Marriage is a service of love. Selfishness has no place in it. His attention should be on her needs and her's should be on his. He seems to barely show up on her radar screen. Anyone who says they love someone but they deliberately withhold basic needs when they are in a position to fulfill them is just plain lying, IMO. Anyone who has experienced rejection would not inflict it upon anyone unless they hated that person or simply had very little compassion for them.
> If a mother told you she loved her child but she refused to feed it, would you believe her?


I really don't know why you are arguing with me when I said I allready agreed it was not OK to neglect your spouse. :scratchhead:

I was merely asking a question to gain a better understand of the dynamic of their relationship. Not accusing him... ASKING.

Do you allways do this to people who agree with you?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"if we know we are contributing to the situation, we can change things..." I'm sorry, but this suggesed (to me) that somehow he is responsible for his wife's neglect of him. In any case, I don't even know you and I certainly have no desire to argue with you or cause you any unpleasantness at all. Sometimes I carry my little debates far too long and perhaps more bluntly than I should. It's a character flaw I need to work on. I hope we're still good. Please accept my apology.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> "if we know we are contributing to the situation, we can change things..." I'm sorry, but this suggesed (to me) that somehow he is responsible for his wife's neglect of him. In any case, I don't even know you and I certainly have no desire to argue with you or cause you any unpleasantness at all. Sometimes I carry my little debates far too long and perhaps more bluntly than I should. It's a character flaw I need to work on. I hope we're still good. Please accept my apology.


Well I myself have been accused (and rightfully so) of being blunt. But I was agreeing with you. And yes I believe we all contribute to our situation, even if it's just through inaction. No hard feelings from my side, and I love to debate (particularly when people are disagreeing with me ).


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Do women like sex? Of course they do. The question is, which remote Pacific island do they all live on?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Women like sex. But they also like to make challenges for men. This is a challenge to you. If you accept her words, then you lose. If you confront her by being strong and steadfast in what your needs are in your marriage, then you win the challenge.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Do women like sex? Of course they do. The question is, which remote Pacific island do they all live on?


I live in Australia and I really like it. But my fiance helps me like it with him a great deal.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Today this theory crossed my mind! 

Men love sex because they are in control of the sex activity! 

I love sex because I am usually in control. I achieve my own orgasm, just like men. I need my husband's body, I need my husband's c**k, but I don't need him to do any work, I can achieve my own orgasm. 

So if the woman figures out how to enjoy sex, if she is in control, I doubt that she won't love sex! 

But how to free their mindset? How do you help her think enjoying sex is a wonderful thing?


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## Red Riding Hood (Apr 14, 2011)

Well, I have been married over 20 years, and I like sex. BUT, there have definitely been times during our marriage where I wasn't in to it as much. One of those times was each time after I had a baby. I know that I was constantly physically drained and tired, and I was just "touched out". I got so tired of always having a baby hanging on me, literally, that it was hard to share any time with my H. A lot of times I just needed some time and space to myself -- that may be one thing that you can help her with.

I think that first year after having a baby is a really hard time. Looking back, I was so stupid about what my husband was needing and was kind of wrapped up in my own issues. He did a pretty good job, though, of being persistently patient and persuasive without being pushy, that I "came back".

It sounds like she is starting to take initiative in doing some little things for you, "waking up", so to speak. I would be complimentary about those times, and keep pushing forward gently, and try and give her opportunities so that she can refresh herself with some time/space to her herself.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Red, did you know the story of Little Red Riding Hood is a metaphor for rape? Yup. 

****The More You Know****


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## Red Riding Hood (Apr 14, 2011)

Ha! Nope, I didn't know! You learn something new everyday! My other choice was Little Bo Peep. Maybe I shoulda used that instead! Is that one okay?


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## Blue Skye (Apr 22, 2011)

To answer the question, some do, some don't - sometimes it fluctuates by day/hour/minute in the same woman!  Sounds like your wife may have her hands full with a new baby.


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## notaname (Feb 4, 2011)

See if you can get your wife to share a fantasy or hers with you.

You will likely find that it includes the concept of being taken or swept away or include danger and excitement, like being strangers.

A lot of us have a hard time stopping thinking. We just think all the time. Being swept up in passion and desire causes us to lose all thought and is quite enjoyable.

When you ask a woman if she wants sex you are making her think. She doesn't want to think about more things! She want to have the desire stoked.

Be playful, tease, flirt, wrestle, tickle, chase....PLAY and LAUGH! Those are all activities that help stop the consant flow of thoughts about the trivial and heavy things of life and focus her attention on YOU. Her thoughts will be only on you and wondering what will happen next. If you can get your wife to giggle or laugh your chances of getting laid skyrocket!

She wants to be pounced on.
She wants to be sandwiched between you and a wall.
She wants you to pound her intimately...she'll let you know if it is too hard.
She wants you to put her arms over her head and maul her neck playfully.

The fact that she rejects you when you non-sexually touch her might indicate she feels that every touch comes with the expectation of sex. It could also be that she has already started shutting down emotionally towards you. It could be both.
You are likely coming across as needy, which is totally understandable! However, needy comes across as unattractive. 

I suggest reading MEMs great thread on turning down the thermostat. http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/21278-thermostat-ultimate-barometer-your-r.html


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> I agree it's a bad attitude, but not an uncommon one. An exchange of sex for security is the oldest transaction in history. I've read many posts of women who, after marriage, decided for one reason or another to deny their husbands sex or affection. Haven't read one which indicated they were so unhappy with their husbands that they refused to let him pay bills. Can't recall any posts of women involved in true dating scenarios (not cohabitating) who decided to cut their sexual partners off. I'm guessing most are wise enough to know that would be the end of their relationship. Once a ring, a child, or mingled finances enter the equation, other leverage can be used to keep a guy around even if sex is withheld.


My heart goes out to the OP and any other spouse who has received the ol' bait and switch. When I was single, I had a lot of men offer to take me on trips. I declined because I knew I would be expected to put out. Why would a man pay thousands to whisk a woman away to Europe, for a kiss on the cheek?
Everyone on TAM knows that I am a lady horndog. LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Red Riding Hood said:


> Ha! Nope, I didn't know! You learn something new everyday! My other choice was Little Bo Peep. Maybe I shoulda used that instead! Is that one okay?


That one's harmless. It's weird though in the original of almost ALL of Grimm's fairy tales, the stories are incredibly violent and depraved. Murder, rape, torture, even cannibalism. Real twisted ****.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Do women like sex?

Maybe not all women but I do. LOL. 

I don't know what your wife's deal is but you need to talk to her. For me, emotions play a big part intno how turned on I am. Romance = bedroom. Most women are this way. If you dote on us, we love you more!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh, as for the oral.... tell her the next time you go down on her that you want her to reciprocate. That you really are into it and want her to "do you"


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## ladyybyrd (Jan 4, 2011)

Not all woman like sex, but ( i have no idea why they wouldn't)

I love sex alway have. My H on the other hand has a low drive now. It sucks. Over time it will just build up resentment and other emotions. More then likely it will never change.

I swear i have a mans brain and my husband has a womans. He always says there is something wrong with me due to my drive. it is HIGH!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I also don't get women or men who won't go down on their partner. Seriously. Wth? It's a dealbreaker for me. I just don't get why people wouldn't want to do it or be into it.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I saw an old episode of The Sopranos that covered that. Apparently there are some 'cultures' or whatnot where it's not considered manly if a man performs cunnilingus.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> I saw an old episode of The Sopranos that covered that. Apparently there are some 'cultures' or whatnot where it's not considered manly if a man performs cunnilingus.


Oral sex is the last taboo in Jamaica. There are songs that, when translated from patois, say that men should eat rice, not pu$$y. Many Jamaican men still go down on women though.
I have no problem with giving oral. Before I married, I only did that with men that I was exclusive with. I wouldn't blow a one night stand. Oral sex has a certain intimacy and trust factor. 
Receiving oral is my absolute favorite thing!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LadyGemma (Oct 4, 2011)

Are you sure she doesn't like other females?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> According to the post, this guy didn't have a chance to gradually fall out of favor. The post said they got married and she got a permanent headache. His sexual skills didn't disappear during the ceremony. She liked them before. She didn't like them after. Easy litmus test: Apart from the actual sex act, does she spontaneously and regularly treat him with loving and nurturing gestures which she initiates? If she loved him but actual penetration is her problem, she would initiate other means to give him pleasure because that's what loving people do....try to please the one they love. Is she just more of a passive participant, caring little of what he thinks, wants, needs, eats, but primarily focused on what she wants? If so, she is a consumer and that apparently was her plan all along.


:iagree:

shelfish people do selfish things.me,me,me,


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## Brian. (Aug 5, 2011)

> Do women like sex?


It's doubtful.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Brian. said:


> It's doubtful.


:rofl:

Brian, you need to hang around other women. I'm sorry you have been around prudes and frigid women, but I assure you, not all women are like that.

Go get laid or something...or maybe you don't like sex all that much...are you good in bed? I can't stand lazy lovers.


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## JRiZZY (Aug 11, 2011)

Yes women like sex. Some do not, but most do I believe. I think women can easily lose interest depending on their mood or emotions. I can go a month without really needing it, and then I want to have sex every day for a week, and so on. It changes constantly!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

JRiZZY said:


> Yes women like sex. Some do not, but most do I believe. I think women can easily lose interest depending on their mood or emotions. I can go a month without really needing it, and then I want to have sex every day for a week, and so on. It changes constantly!


Women who don't like sex have bad partners.


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## JRiZZY (Aug 11, 2011)

I agree. But I also believe some women aren't able to "get out of their own head" so to speak enough to enjoy sex. I have a girlfriend who is so anxious and self conscious that she has never been able to achieve orgasm because she cannot fully relax and enjoy it. Sad really.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

JRiZZY said:


> I agree. But I also believe some women aren't able to "get out of their own head" so to speak enough to enjoy sex. I have a girlfriend who is so anxious and self conscious that she has never been able to achieve orgasm because she cannot fully relax and enjoy it. Sad really.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

A bad self image and being told/taught that good girls don't like sex are two issues that I have had to deal with. She is self conscious until we get into it, then loves the act, but often is gulity afterward. I have learned to tread lightly and be supportive the day after. She knows it is not rational, but it is something that she (and I suspect a number of women) have to deal with.


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

:iagree: Bingo! Same experience, completely!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I think a lot of women don't self experiment in order to know what exactly gives them orgasms. 

If they don't know how to achieve it, they won't know how to tell their partners where and how to touch them.

I know how I orgasm and in turn, so does my husband.


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## Brian. (Aug 5, 2011)

that_girl said:


> :rofl:
> 
> Brian, you need to hang around other women. I'm sorry you have been around prudes and frigid women, but I assure you, not all women are like that.
> 
> Go get laid or something...or maybe you don't like sex all that much...are you good in bed? I can't stand lazy lovers.


I have no idea if I would be good in bed or not. But I would defenitley not be lazy. 

I don't see how a man can be lazy in bed. We are made in a way so that the man penetrates and the woman recieves. Maybe men can be lazy in a way that they only care about their own satisfaction, but that would just feel rape_ish_ if a man doesn't care if the woman likes it or not.

But I'm very doubtful as if women even can enjoy sex. It just doesn't seem that way in most cases.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Read the whole thing, body image wasn't mentioned.
Young, had a baby, no longer masturbates. Not feeling very sexy?
OP, think she has any issues with not looking as perky as before?
Birth control an issue? Got that covered?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Brian. said:


> I have no idea if I would be good in bed or not. But I would defenitley not be lazy.
> 
> I don't see how a man can be lazy in bed. We are made in a way so that the man penetrates and the woman recieves. Maybe men can be lazy in a way that they only care about their own satisfaction, but that would just feel rape_ish_ if a man doesn't care if the woman likes it or not.
> 
> But I'm very doubtful as if women even can enjoy sex. It just doesn't seem that way in most cases.


I've asked a number of times, and I don't think you've ever answered. Where have you got your skewed image of women's sexuality from?

I haven't been with heaps of women. Like 5. One was my wife, and yes, with her, sex was pretty low on her priority list. With the other 4 however, they were actively seeking a sexual relationship. My current GF has a sex drive at least as high as mine, and mine is quite healthy, thank you very much. . She texts me throughout the day, and leaves no doubt that sex is on the agenda at some point that day. She's come over to my place, all excited about a new toy she bought. Shes taken pictures of herself and texted them to me throughout the day, just to keep me thinking of her. She's shown up at my place, all dressed up for work, but with no panties under her skirt. And these are just the experiences I think are suitable for here... And all things she's done without me asking. 

Now, I'll admit that if I was dating someone else, I wouldn't expect or demand the frequency or variety that I'm currently enjoying. But I don't doubt that I can find someone who enjoys a healthy interest in sex.

As far as lazy lovers go, either gender can be lazy by simply being interested in simply their own pleasure. It doesn't have to be "rapish" to be lazy. I guess maybe I'm thinking more of a "selfish" lover than lazy. 

And BTW... As far as your masturbation technique goes... If a woman ever asks you to masturbate for her, don't do that without warning her first. That's NOT what she's going to be expecting. Nothing wrong with it, but it's not the "normal" way.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Brian. (Aug 5, 2011)

PBear said:


> I've asked a number of times, and I don't think you've ever answered. Where have you got your skewed image of women's sexuality from?


Idk I guess it's just a sterotype but it's really pretty hard to imagine women as sexual beings because of it.



> And BTW... As far as your masturbation technique goes... If a woman ever asks you to masturbate for her, don't do that without warning her first. That's NOT what she's going to be expecting. Nothing wrong with it, but it's not the "normal" way.


Yeah... I doubt my eventual girlfriend would want me to masturbate infront of her. I don't think it's common for women to want that.

And if she did want me to, my way of masturbating has an obvious advantage in that she wouldn't be able to see my penis which if she did would make it kinda humiliating.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

I have always loved sex, more so now that i am in my 30's.. I think i hit my peak early..

I agree with GreenPearl "I think I have a man's sex drive in a woman's body."

I do believe that some woman once they get the ring on their finger sex stops.. I don't know why that happens... I just can't believe that some people just don't like sex. They have no idea what they are missing.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Brian. said:


> Idk I guess it's just a sterotype but it's really pretty hard to imagine women as sexual beings because of it.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well, where did you develop your "stereotype" from? I think it's putting you in an unhealthy position for a long term relationship, if you just won't believe that a woman can enjoy sex. And as an FYI, a reasonable number of women DO like to watch a guy masturbate. It works both ways 

And if you get into a "normal" relationship, she likely WILL see your penis. Up close and personal. You may want to get used to that. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Brian. said:


> I have no idea if I would be good in bed or not. But I would defenitley not be lazy.
> 
> I don't see how a man can be lazy in bed. We are made in a way so that the man penetrates and the woman recieves. Maybe men can be lazy in a way that they only care about their own satisfaction, but that would just feel rape_ish_ if a man doesn't care if the woman likes it or not.
> 
> But I'm very doubtful as if women even can enjoy sex. It just doesn't seem that way in most cases.


You are just not with the right women. Seriously. Either that, or you aren't good in bed.

Men can easily be lazy. They pump but that's it. That's lazy. Please. I could do that myself. I love giving but need my lover to give as well.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

PBear said:


> Well, where did you develop your "stereotype" from? I think it's putting you in an unhealthy position for a long term relationship, if you just won't believe that a woman can enjoy sex. And as an FYI, a reasonable number of women DO like to watch a guy masturbate. It works both ways
> 
> And if you get into a "normal" relationship, she likely WILL see your penis. Up close and personal. You may want to get used to that.
> 
> ...


Yea...his stereotype is not like any women I have known. 

:scratchhead:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

> And BTW... As far as your masturbation technique goes... If a woman ever asks you to masturbate for her, don't do that without warning her first. That's NOT what she's going to be expecting. Nothing wrong with it, but it's not the "normal" way.


lol. Yea. It would bother me. haha.


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## gmabcd (Sep 9, 2011)

Love sex more than ever!!!! Been married 22 years and am into it more than ever. Of course in the past there have been times you are not into it. I am in my late 40's and don't know what happened. Sooo into it. Just wished my husband wanted it everyday but he is always tired.he is trying to keep up but some nights he would rather sleep. Is this unusual for a man??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

I love sex. Husband and I have both been sick off and on for the last month so it's been inconsistent. We're getting back into it, though.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I left this post on this thread 9 months ago .... http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/21594-ladies-who-love-sex.html , I still feel the same so here is my repost ... 



> Oh my do I Looooveeeee Sex! The act, the thought, the anticipation, just hearing an erotic song on the radio brings me there & I am wanting, anything slightly sensual seems to "move" me. I CRAVE touching my husband & his touching me. It all emanates LOVE. Sex is new for me every morning, It never grows old. It rejuvenates me, makes me feel alive, beautiful, desired, and oh what this does for one's emotional well being. Can words describe? It literally keeps me on a "high". Yes, I realize I sound addicted. Can't think of a better addiction to have. Ha ha
> 
> If my husband was not into sex, I can tell you all, we would be having GRAVE troubles in our marriage. Thankfully, he has always loved & wanted sex. One time I felt was was being a burden wanting it SO much & he asked me if I was crazy.
> 
> ...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

gmabcd said:


> Love sex more than ever!!!! Been married 22 years and am into it more than ever. Of course in the past there have been times you are not into it. I am in my late 40's and don't know what happened. Sooo into it. Just wished my husband wanted it everyday but he is always tired.he is trying to keep up but some nights he would rather sleep. Is this unusual for a man??


Yes, NORMAL , especially if he is working hard. I have read like 3 books on testostorone (this is our *lust *hormone)... as men get older, their levels drop a little each year. I was like you for a time, possibly worse, I was wanting him like 3 times a day in my early 40's ! I was starting to think i had an addiction , he couldn't keep up with me, this is :rofl: looking back cause I was so bent out of shape about this (I do not like having more desire than my man) - I sent him to the Encronologist to get his Testosterone levels checked. 

I had to downplay why we was really there... the wife just wanted more sex! There was nothing wrong with my husband- though he was on the lower end of normal - I was the one who went WILD for a time. That lasted 8 full months for me, I kept a sex calender. 

Here is how it plays out for men & women...



> *Balance the seesaw*.
> 
> When they were first married, the man remembered, he always took the sexual lead, pulling his wife close and whispering his desire to make love. But now, 20 years later, she often makes the first move.
> 
> Again, hormonal changes are bringing the couple into closer balance. Men and women both produce testosterone and estrogen, but the proportion of each changes over the years. The male's shifting levels of estrogen and testosterone may make him more willing to follow than to lead, happy for his wife to set the pace. And as a woman's estrogen declines and her testosterone becomes proportionately greater, she may become more assertive.


 Men are in their prime in late teens -early 20's --women in our late 30's -early 40's ! This kinda sucks cause we women do not realize how our men are FEELING back then, what the urgency was all about & we often faught with them, felt they were nothing but HORN DOGS, and now it has hit us!! I guess we DESERVE this. It was a nice payback for my husband, me finally getting to see how HE felt for all those years. The laugh was on me.


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