# Sexual Awkwardness



## nursemeg16 (Mar 14, 2016)

Me and my soon to be husband already live together. We began sleeping together where we both worked. At work it was kind of spontaneous, fun and wild. We have since became engaged and had a child together. He was uncomfortable having rough sex, or very much sex at all during pregnancy. I became pregnant very soon into starting our relationship (this was an birth control baby) we are both very happy about the new baby yet we had never before really established a sex life. Now the baby has been here for a little over 6 weeks and we can start having sex again. He has always claimed to love sex and want it all the time yet now doesn't really act like it. Sex is very very important to me. I have never had a partner where sex felt awkward. Sometimes I don't really know how to initiate it since I feel like he is not as into it as he has stated in the past. One of the reasons I have always been really attracted to him because he is 12 years older then me and I was sure he would be very attracted to me and always interested in sex. Seems to not be so. How do I make sex less awkward? I'm starting to get really frustrated since we didn't have very much sex during the pregnancy and still aren't. I even enjoy giving him oral and I just feel weird initiating it. What should I do?


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

talk to him, he could be low drive which may be a result of or cured by medicine. then again, he may be so low drive he just does not care and unless HE wants to improve his libido it won't ever change.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

nursemeg16 said:


> Me and my soon to be husband already live together. We began sleeping together where we both worked. At work it was kind of spontaneous, fun and wild. We have since became engaged and had a child together. He was uncomfortable having rough sex, or very much sex at all during pregnancy. I became pregnant very soon into starting our relationship (this was an birth control baby) we are both very happy about the new baby yet we had never before really established a sex life. Now the baby has been here for a little over 6 weeks and we can start having sex again. He has always claimed to love sex and want it all the time yet now doesn't really act like it. Sex is very very important to me. I have never had a partner where sex felt awkward. Sometimes I don't really know how to initiate it since I feel like he is not as into it as he has stated in the past. One of the reasons I have always been really attracted to him because he is 12 years older then me and I was sure he would be very attracted to me and always interested in sex. Seems to not be so. How do I make sex less awkward? I'm starting to get really frustrated since we didn't have very much sex during the pregnancy and still aren't. I even enjoy giving him oral and I just feel weird initiating it. What should I do?


I feel like there is much more to this story based on what you've posted. Hate to say it but you just had a baby six weeks ago. So maybe you still have a lot of body weight from the pregnancy and it's a turn off for him? Not trying to be shallow but there's probably a good reason he was chasing a girl 12 years his junior and I'm guessing appearance is very important to him. Be honest, is he a very superficial person? An unplanned child can also kill the lust in a relationship pretty damn fast too. The work place sex doesn't seem to broadcast his interest in a long term relationship but rather short term physical gratification. Though now perhaps he feels trapped because of the child and he's with you because "its the right thing to do"?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

nursemeg16 said:


> How do I make sex less awkward?


Awkwardness can be very erotic you know! If I were in your situation, I would actually push to make things more awkward and embrace it as an adventurous kink.

Be a "bad girl" and:

• accidentally hide a bottle of your favorite lube in his underwear drawer.
• buy suction hand grips for the shower and don't explain why, just show him.
• While he is sleeping handcuff his hands to the headboard, and wake him up by masturbating loudly under the covers next to him. Don't let him touch you (this is a tease).
• Pretend and tell him you made him a porn of you masturbating and hand it to him on a thumb drive. The thumb drive only has a "readme" file saying that he has to make you one first!
• Buy some cøck rings and leave them in the shower. Use soap to write on the shower door what to do with them that he can only read once everything fogs up.

...and so on!!!

Enjoy,
Badsanta


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

badsanta said:


> Awkwardness can be very erotic you know! If I were in your situation, I would actually push to make things more awkward and embrace it as an adventurous kink.
> 
> Be a "bad girl" and:
> 
> ...


you are a dirty Santa!!!!!I love it.

she could dress up like an elf and give him an early present.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
A new child can be extremely stressful. There are also a lot of men who have trouble viewing their wives as both mothers and sexual beings.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> A new child can be extremely stressful. There are also a lot of men who have trouble viewing their wives as both mothers and sexual beings.


This is going to be hard to hear, OP. But yes. What he said. Some guys don't have it in them to find a mother attractive. It could be the weight gain that comes with pregnancy, it could be the stressors that living together and raising a kid together are creating, it could be the newness of being parents together instead of having illicit work sex :smile2:, or it could be that your fiance is one of those men. Have you guys thought about counseling? I would really reconsider marriage until you have ironed out some of these issues. That isn't a commitment you want to make until you know for certain this guy is it for you.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Have you let him know that it's ok to start having sex again and that he doesn't have to feel he has to let up a little due to your pregnancy? I was always leerly to start again since I was treated so badly and cold during her pregnancies the prospect of touching her again wasn't that appealing. This got worse for each preganancy


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Never ever let yourself become aversive or even thinking of awkwardness within the bounds of your marital sex life!

If you truly love sex, both in giving and receiving, then go after him with nothing short of wild, reckless abandonment!

Trust me! He'll love you for it, regardless of whether he is LD or HD!

If this fails, I'd have to suggest sex therapy!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

A friend of ours warmed my H not to look "down there" while I was giving birth because the view screwed him up so badly that he couldn't have sex with his fiancé for 6 months afterwards. 

Yes that's immature and shouldn't be a thing, but for him it was for their first child. By the third he didn't care anymore. 

I remember myself watching the birth of my first on the mirror and thinking that while simultaneously being beautiful, my vagina looked so GROSS. Almost 15 years later I can still picture it. I learned with the next two, not to look in the mirror. 

It didn't effect my H at all, but he did almost vomit when he saw the placenta lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

My 2 cents.

6 weeks......Sleep deprevation will kill the sex drive of anyone, including a husband.

Look up Madonna/***** complex. You are now the mother of his children. You are special to him and he may be changing his view of his role with your. Remind him that sex is important to him and to you.

For some men who love to play, nuzzle and kiss breasts, a lactating mom, can be a freak out. It should not be, but he can view your body being no longer his special playground, but something he needs to respect for his child. 

Babies in the same room, starting to cry when you start having sex all can make having sex a little more difficult.

There is a great course by the Gottmans of the Gottman Institute on Bringing Baby Home that some hospitals offer to new parents. It helps you with your relationship.

Good luck. Be open, loving and talk to your H. It will work out.


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## RayceCarrington (May 10, 2015)

BetrayedDad said:


> I feel like there is much more to this story based on what you've posted. Hate to say it but you just had a baby six weeks ago. So maybe you still have a lot of body weight from the pregnancy and it a good reason he was chasing a girl 12 years his junior and I'm guessing appearance is very important to him. Be honest, is he a very superficial person? An unplanned child can also kill the lust in a relationship pretty damn fast too. The work place sex doesn't seem to broadcast his interest in a long term relationship but rather short term physical gratification. Though now perhaps he feels trapped because of the child and he's with you because "its the right thing to do"?


omg why do people think just because a man has a younger girl friend he chased after her and he's superficial??? I had a girlfriend who was 18 years younger than me, she chased after me relentlessly and tried to convince me it would work. I never would have talked to her let alone chase her but men are always the bad guys.
I must say that it's quite a surprise to me to hear a woman actually wants to have sex after having a kid. Men aren't the sex maniacs that women think we are. If a husband doesn't want sex the wife should just deal with it that's what women expect men to do


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## FascinatingLady (Mar 6, 2016)

My husband wasn't keeping up with my drive after my daughter was born either. With him it was mostly just excitement over the baby. He just wanted to sit and look at her all night. Is the baby crib in your bedroom? If so, the little one is probably old enough to move it to the livingroom or another close by room. That can help a lot.

Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk


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## 2ndchanceGuy (Sep 28, 2015)

I have to wonder if he's worried about getting you pregnant again ??


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## nursemeg16 (Mar 14, 2016)

It is really a mutual attraction. I do not think that he is only attracted to me for looks. I feel like we have a very deeply rooted connection and are more like buddies/best friends and we happen to also date and have a great relationship. I am a very sexual person, and yes I very much chased after him just as much. It turns me on very much that I view him as older then me, experienced and very attractive


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## Kilgoretrout (Feb 2, 2016)

nursemeg16 said:


> Me and my soon to be husband already live together. We began sleeping together where we both worked. At work it was kind of spontaneous, fun and wild. We have since became engaged and had a child together. He was uncomfortable having rough sex, or very much sex at all during pregnancy. I became pregnant very soon into starting our relationship (this was an birth control baby) we are both very happy about the new baby yet we had never before really established a sex life. Now the baby has been here for a little over 6 weeks and we can start having sex again. He has always claimed to love sex and want it all the time yet now doesn't really act like it. Sex is very very important to me. I have never had a partner where sex felt awkward. Sometimes I don't really know how to initiate it since I feel like he is not as into it as he has stated in the past. One of the reasons I have always been really attracted to him because he is 12 years older then me and I was sure he would be very attracted to me and always interested in sex. Seems to not be so. How do I make sex less awkward? I'm starting to get really frustrated since we didn't have very much sex during the pregnancy and still aren't. I even enjoy giving him oral and I just feel weird initiating it. What should I do?


He might just be overwhelmed. I think initiating would help. As a man, I was overwhelmed when my kids were born
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Yours is a classic case. Wife has baby and husband now views her as a mother and not a lover. This is very common. He is thinking that your baby came out of there and he now views your vagina different. I think if you give him time he will come around. One method that was taught to me and always works is to schedule mandatory sex time. You probably do not want to let someone watch your brand new baby and babies can demand attention during sex and kill the mood but you need to eventually let a family member have the baby for alone time which they do not need to know is sex time. Quite a few parents and siblings know that you need alone time for sex but will not say so. Take baby steps with your hubby. Dress sexy, act sexy and talk sexy. He will soon see you as a lover again, and a mom.


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