# Husbands bad work ethic



## Squeebs (Apr 30, 2014)

Hey all! 
I'm hoping someone can give me some assistance here. 

I have known my husband for 5 years, we've been married however, for about 8 months and we have a 2 year old. I also have two older children (11 and 13) from a previous marriage. 

Here is my issue:
Since I have known him he has always had problems with his jobs. He doesn't get fired, but does have a HORRIBLE attitude while at work. Because of this he never gets raises, preferred shift bids, or the other standard perks one would get if they were simply pleasant people to work with - a team player. The most recent is the shift bid, and now, because he lost out on the proper shift I may have to quit my job on the weekends to accommodate his new schedule. 

He is never accountable for his actions, it's always the company, supervisor, coworkers, he is never to blame. I know he is a very difficult person, but now his narcissism is affecting this entire family. You see, he is always right - a flat out know-it-all. He is definitely knowledgeable in a lot of areas - quite a smart guy, but he is so dang pompous! And when he is wrong and KNOWS he is wrong, his attitude about it is crap. 

The supervisor he is currently under is fairly new to the position; I'd say 6 months, and my husband has already had 3 meetings with HR complaining about him and has had verbal and emailed spats with him while at work. When he has told me why, it is clear to me that my husband is usually the one to blame for being a spoiled brat who likes to overreact. He is likely an asbolute nightmare to work with. I'd love to be able to comfort my husband when these things happen, to support him when he needs me. But I can't when HE IS DOING IT TO HIMSELF! Gah! I just want to scream. 

Tonight he told me that he was so mad about the shift that he angered himself into a migraine, which is ridiculous. I tried explaining to him that his attitude at work is what lost him the bid. He pretty much ignored what I said and went on to complain about the coworker who got the shift he wanted; as if she had ANYTHING to do with his own performance. His stats are great, his attendance is pretty darn good, though not perfect. He definitely works hard while he is there and he seems to believe this should be the only thing that he needs to do, that his attitude should play no part in it. Am I wrong to believe it plays a large part in it? 

I guess I am looking for some direction; am I being too hard, or does he need to work on this? We are already struggling financially, he and his father have a joint account so his dad can give him money when it's needed. He's been paying half our rent for almost a year now. I just can't take it anymore! I don't know what to do, and am petrified of this turning into my second failed marriage. It is absolutely heartbreaking


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So why did you marry (and have a child with) someone whose work ethic you knew you disagreed with so completely? And why not get him to be the SAHD, instead of you (assuming you're home with your child).

If you continue to marry losers, you can continue to have failed marriages. That's kind of the way these things go. And I'm basing my "losers" comment strictly on this post; I'm sure you see lots of other wonderful characteristics in him...

C


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

PBear said:


> So why did you marry (and have a child with) someone whose work ethic you knew you disagreed with so completely? And why not get him to be the SAHD, instead of you (assuming you're home with your child).
> 
> If you continue to marry losers, you can continue to have failed marriages. That's kind of the way these things go. And I'm basing my "losers" comment strictly on this post; I'm sure you see lots of other wonderful characteristics in him...
> 
> C


Pbear is correct. Unfortunately a bad work ethic is something you can't really teach away or change overnight. Crappy employees eventually are pushed away and will never see a promotion unless they change jobs. Trust me when I tell you this. I have outlived many crappy employees and bosses. They eventually get the door shown and word does spread especially in today's connected world.


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## Happyfamily (Apr 15, 2014)

Squeebs said:


> I guess I am looking for some direction; am I being too hard, or does he need to work on this? We are already struggling financially, he and his father have a joint account so his dad can give him money when it's needed. He's been paying half our rent for almost a year now. I just can't take it anymore! I don't know what to do, and am petrified of this turning into my second failed marriage. It is absolutely heartbreaking


Well, it doesn't matter if he is the first husband or the fifth. These kinds of people either get help through counseling or self-help books or they never change. I had a friend like this. Such a tragedy. 

Sorry to hear, because yeah you love them but you have to face the hard realities of life. A man better be putting food on the table.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

There is no way any of us here can tell if your assessment of your husband at his job is accurate.

But what is obvious is that you have a real problem with him. 

You said that you will have to quit your job? Don't do that. Make sure you get full employment because you should not stay with a guy who you feel this way about.


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## Alisha1 (Apr 21, 2014)

Attitude plays a huge role in our jobs. I agree that this is what is most likely causing him to not get what he wants.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Squeebs said:


> We are already struggling financially, he and his father have a joint account so his dad can give him money when it's needed. He's been paying half our rent for almost a year now.


I want to comment on something else. If you are both working you shouldn't have so many financial issues. Yet his father has to pay half your rent? Do you have some huge debts you are paying off? It's patently obvious that you are living above your means and you need to move to a less expensive place.


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