# Unrealistic ideas you had as a young person



## I'll make tea (Oct 11, 2013)

Are there any unrealistic ideas about your spouse/lists you had as a young person.

When growing up I sometimes had the idea that it would be great if my future spouse would be gifted and a leading scientist in his field... which would be something really really complicated...

Well did not happen, my husband is definetly smart but not a genius... and now I am fine without. Would be no fun being married to Sheldon Cooper.


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Soul Mates


----------



## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

That the party would never end.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

My wife wanted to marry a pilot, but said she would have settled for someone in the construction trade (like her father who was a carpenter) but then married me. I'm far from being a genius or even that smart, but I am a scientist. 

I never gave marriage much thought when I was young. I was too busy having fun. I ended up marrying a beautiful woman who is stable, sane and a great mother to our two sons.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

That I'd find someone who could fill the void.That I'd find someone who would love me so much that I wouldn't worry about being left or abandoned ever. That I'd find someone who made me feel good about myself. That I'd be happy every day as long as I had the right guy.

*massive eye roll at my younger self.* lol


----------



## Akinaura (Dec 6, 2011)

That my future husband would come in, "rescue me", and I would never ever again have to worry about anything.

He would be tall, built like a linebacker, and be a hopeless romantic.

But the BIGGEST one would be that he could read my mind and I'd never have to tell him about my needs because he would already know them. What a bunch of crock...lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

That my husband would be my "best friend." and that means, that I could treat him the same way I treated a female best friend.

Older, wiser.......


----------



## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

That once I'd found her -it would be great forever without any work because it was "suppose" to be...

Cue Nelson Muntz..."Ha Ha"


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I remember telling an old boyfriend that my first marriage would probably end in divorce or I wouldn't marry until I was close to 30. Before I dated my husband, I would get bored with whoever I was dating after a few months and want to move on. I thought that was just they way I was. I didn't think it was about finding the right person for you.

I was married at 25 and it will be 25 years in April.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

A decent job with a middle class pay.
A house in the suburbs with at most an acre of ground.
Two newer cars.
A wife who loved me and laughed with me and had a middle class paying job.
Two children, a man's boy and a girlie girl.
A dog.
Ability to go on vacation for a week once a year to a park or beach or somewhere not too extravagant, just fun.
Enough savings and pension/retirement savings to have a decent retirement after 65, but hoped for 62. 

Yep, that's it. Oh well...


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

The crazy thing is, given my upbringing, I didn't want children. I even asked a doctor at age 22 if he would give me a vasectomy, he would not. I just did not want to be a parent at all, not even sure I wanted to be married until like two years before I actually got married. 

I love my boys and do not regret being a father to my children. I was pretty screwed up as a young man. I like to think, life has turned out unlike what I imagined and better for it. I love my wife of 20 years (still think she is hot) and love my family... I am not my father.


----------



## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

...to think I would have "normal"...,

To think nobody else feels the way I do.

Now I know, I AM the norm, and wished I weren't.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I thought as I grow up I would mature.

Never happened. Now I have the mind of a teenager in a 55 year old's body.


----------



## Broken at 20 (Sep 25, 2012)

That people are basically good people.

And that my parents would always love me.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

That you better have all the fun you can have before you are 40 because once you got to that age you would be too old and the group of friends you had would always be together.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Where to start? I was arrogant and ****y. Thought I could fix anything. If something wasn't working then I'd work harder and fix it. Thought whoever I settled down with was going to be one darn lucky girl. I knew nothing of personal boundaries. I knew nothing of not being able to control others. The concept of others not thinking like me was absurd. Grasping the idea that we teach others how to treat us never crossed my mind.

I had potential. On the surface I was arrogant but below the surface I was shallow, insecure, afraid of failure, afraid to be alone. False confidence I guess is the definition.

What a punk .


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

You can't kill all the communists.


----------



## dougy (Nov 8, 2014)

I don't think i ever thought i'd get married, having seen how my parents' turned out it took me a while to warm to the idea.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Thundarr said:


> Where to start? I was arrogant and ****y. Thought I could fix anything. If something wasn't working then I'd work harder and fix it. Thought whoever I settled down with was going to be one darn lucky girl. I knew nothing of personal boundaries. I knew nothing of not being able to control others. The concept of others not thinking like me was absurd. Grasping the idea that we teach others how to treat us never crossed my mind.
> 
> I had potential. On the surface I was arrogant but below the surface I was shallow, insecure, afraid of failure, afraid to be alone. False confidence I guess is the definition.
> 
> What a punk .


 Love the Honesty.. 

Unlike many here...I always wanted to get married.. "the one" was always in the back of my mind. ...Also the family we'd have together...

Going back to my teens...I felt like a nobody... I wasn't in any activities, I was on the shy side in High school.... I hated my home life.. I remember going through a period where I felt EVERYONE WAS UGLY... PEOPLE ALL SUCK ...they are FAKE, you can't trust anything anyone says. A-holes !!! (except for a few friends of course...and my Grandma next door)...

Though deep down.... I still wanted that soul mate love.. . 
watched too many Romances or







episodes.... but the majority of young men just seemed to TOY with you.. too immature, wanted only 1 thing.... 

I never thought I'd find HIM that young.. 

Outside of the Boyfriend thing...... I was NEVER one to think >> "Oh we'll be rich & achieve this or that"... instead I kept my feet firmly on the ground, maybe even in the DIRT... worrying he may never get a better job.... "What if this... What if that"....

Example >> we'll never be able to buy that nice house in the country but we might be able to get that run down shack over there with a few acres & the outhouse & fix it up if it takes us till we die....we did look at a house like this once , even considered it ! ..Funny looking back...

Didn't care how old our cars were, just that they ran & he could get to work... and kids... so long as we could pay our bills & put food on the table.. . I'll happily use cloth diapers & hang them on the line.. I'm not hard to please! 

So I had high expectations IN 
.. but very low expectations to a "smooth" easy life.....as it turns out.. I worried myself more than I ever needed to.. he got a better job 8 yrs in...and everything just seemed to fall into place...beyond what I even dared hope for... Very thankful today.

I have grown to be a little more optimistic over the years seeing how things CAN come together, sometimes against the odds.. but really....I'd still describe myself as a cautious somewhat pessimistic *realist* ...something about not getting our hopes too high.. so we won't be headed for a crash, whether that be in Love, life goals , finances, expectations of others...etc.


----------



## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

I was utterly naive about life. Here are a few of my misconceptions:

That if I worked hard enough, I could make everything perfect.

That I would rectify all the parenting mistakes my parents made with me.

That I could just tell my children why we had the rules that we did, and they would obediently follow them.

That life is fair and people are rational. I did not understand the role of unconscious emotions in people.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

People are basically good.


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

"Love conquers all."

"Love is real."

"Family will always accept you."

"Honest, hard work will pay off."

Oh, and I thought that not having a romantic partner was no big deal, that being alone wouldn't ever bother me. I'm a generally solitary, introverted person, who was surprised to fall in love and marry. Now, after my marriage has failed, many ideas about life are different. I realize that I like having someone in my life. Ironically, I don't believe in love anymore.


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

That last line is sad, moxy. Would it help to write more about it? Get it out?


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Jld, thanks, but I've whined and cried over it in my thread for a while, now. I still believe the hell out lust and attachment and passion, though.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

That you have all the time in the world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

All you need is love - not true


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

What you know is more important than who you know.


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

The last 3 posters, like me, I believe, are all over 40. I feel like I can relate to what all three are saying.


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

love is a feeling.


----------



## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

That the right man would come along and we'd connect and my heart would soar and we would spend the rest of our lives like this... wow... I wish I could go back. I at least had some of that in my 20s...

:rofl:

Guess I haven't grown all that much. I still want to fall in love. Not sure I'll ever marry again. Not sure I'll ever even date again... but sometimes it's nice to hope.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Youth and enthusiasm conquers age and treachery. In fact it's the other way around.


----------



## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

Thundarr said:


> Where to start? I was arrogant and ****y. Thought I could fix anything. If something wasn't working then I'd work harder and fix it. Thought whoever I settled down with was going to be one darn lucky girl. I knew nothing of personal boundaries. I knew nothing of not being able to control others. The concept of others not thinking like me was absurd. Grasping the idea that we teach others how to treat us never crossed my mind.
> 
> I had potential. On the surface I was arrogant but below the surface I was shallow, insecure, afraid of failure, afraid to be alone. False confidence I guess is the definition.
> 
> What a punk .


But that you've come so far is a testament to who you are and what you are capable of. :smthumbup:


----------



## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

That a college education was not that big of a deal


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I thought if two people seemed to love each other and didn't like drama, life would be smooth. I didn't realize that maintaining a relationship was so game-like.


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

SurpriseMyself said:


> But that you've come so far is a testament to who you are and what you are capable of. :smthumbup:


Thank you SurpriseMyself. I really hope that's the case and I think it is. Like I mentioned though, I'm prone to arrogance by nature. If good intention and effort pay off then I'm good though .


----------



## Kresaera (Nov 8, 2014)

I honestly thought up until my husband's first affair that I had my Prince Charming. I've always wanted to me a homemaker, wife and mother were my main goals in life. I wanted a man to take care of me and treat me like the woman I am. 

I really thought when I got married, he would be faithfully mine and love me as much as I him. 

I didn't think it was that far fetched.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

That love conquers all or is enough.....it isn't

That being true and good to someone means you will get that back....you won't 

Soul mates


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

I guess not having grown up in a fairly tale world, I always set my expectations very very low. I guess, I count myself fortunate that things turned out better than they did for me.


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I did not really have an idea how marriage would be. And I did not realize Dh wanted more than friendship until he told me very abruptly one day. 

I did not realize how healing marriage could be, how stabilizing and soothing a husband is, how strong his love and how broad his shoulders. I did not expect unconditional love but it sure feels like I got it anyway.


----------



## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

Gonna be honest here and say that I have a huge wall of regret regarding what I should/shouldn't have seen or done. Some things were unavoidable, my cancer for instance, but things that I thought would complete me and make me happy, such as marriage, had resulted in pain, loneliness, and betrayal. Yet instead of just putting my head under the blankets to hide from shame, regret, and stupidity...I hope to be an overcomer and as the Good Book says to trade in those ashes for something better.


----------



## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

That I should just overlook things about a person I was with in the name of being nonjudgmental. In the end, I compromised much of what I wanted just trying to accept men who I really shouldn't have dated in the first place.


----------



## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

I thought all men were horny, raging, animals. And that I'd be having hot, wild sex, daily.


----------



## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Marriage would magically make me feel that I mattered. My Prince Charming would know exactly what to do in all situations and make my existence safe and secure. That having children would be a constant source of joy and contentment. I have since learned that I need to step up and be present for my husband and kids no matter how bad my childhood was. I can't live my childhood over again but I can make my children's lives good and my husband feel loved. So I do matter after all. 😊
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

I thought that my fidelity and efforts to remain faithful would be appreciated and returned in kind.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TheCuriousWife said:


> I thought all men were horny, raging, animals. And that I'd be having hot, wild sex, daily.


LOL! I thought most women wanted to wait for marriage!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I never thought about getting married or having kids. I figured that if it happened it happened, but if not, I'd find a job I loved and be content with that. I was really working towards the job satisfaction and buying my first house when I met DH and one minute it was all about me, the next I was barefoot and pregnant in a little house with no kitchen, lol.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I've been on TAM almost four years. This is one of the best threads I've read. Although I frequently feel I walk to the beat of a different drum, it appears I'm not nearly as unique or "special" as I believed. It was just my ego talking ...

I wanted a nice, middle-class life:

Home in the 'burbs

2.8 children

3.1 television sets

1.8 cars

warm, accepting family

best-friend/best lover for a husband.

lots of laughter.

cancer-free.

die in my sleep from old age.

Damn, was I one dumb, naïve kid.


----------



## Meli33 (Oct 16, 2014)

I think romance novels ruined it for me. Lol.

I started reading them when i was a teenager. The tall, built alpha male who would rescue you and be very protective of you and love you unconditionally. Haha


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Meli33 said:


> I think romance novels ruined it for me. Lol.
> 
> I started reading them when i was a teenager. The tall, built alpha male who would rescue you and be very protective of you and love you unconditionally. Haha


There just aren't many of us men like that around. Weird.


----------



## Meli33 (Oct 16, 2014)

*Re: Re: Unrealistic ideas you had as a young person*



Thundarr said:


> There just aren't many of us men like that around. Weird.


Haha. Nothing wrong with a real man...


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That the concept of marriage was forever


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

This thread makes me feel like I don't belong here..... I was completely backwards from most of you.. not having much hope in my youth due to seeing my parents divorce, my Mother destroy her life with A-hole user men/ have a nervous breakdown... one of my Aunts H's committed suicide when he lost his job, saw the turmoil of that situation... I was very worried about what lie ahead in regards to boys in my life... very guarded..

Then the good guy stepped in and gave me hope, the world seemed a brighter place , I could rest in him... Romance never died for me...

Isn't it possible so many here just got hooked up with the wrong people, not compatible on a variety of levels that could not be reconciled...then as it often goes....slowly...you grew JADED....couldn't open yourself up to this again... I realize this COULD have happened to me too! 

I did 2 threads on *Romance.*... HERE and  HERE

One male poster said


> "The only thing I did wish was that I had the opportunity to experience heartbreak earlier in dating, getting your heart broken for the first time at 22/23, I think it has longer lasting effects. How you deal with people and deal with trust changes completely....
> 
> yeah, well, now she wonders why I am not as emotional and mushy as I used to be. Now, i'm very matter-of-factly and direct in my tone. She can't stand it. But that's what happens when you take a good heart for granted, it hardens, doesn't die, just hardens."


I guess that about sums up many's experiences....

This thing about the *ALPHA MALE* in romance novels .... "*The tall, built alpha male who would rescue you and be very protective of you and love you unconditionally.*".. there is nothing wrong with a little BETA in the Guy too...

Unconditional love... even I don't believe in that one.. it goes both ways.. or it's gonna dry up like a wilted flower... 

I attempted to give a breakdown to where we often miss it in our youth/ dating years... to look back & asses how it played down.. what say you ?

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...ng-vows-now-who-what-why-could-weathered.html 



> *1.* *Missed the Red Flags.*..caught up in the whirlwind / LOVE can conquer all mentality	.....12%
> 
> *2. **Partner misrepresented himself/ herself* ...victim of "Bait & Switch"	.....20%
> 
> ...


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I realize this COULD have happened to me too!


Exactly. Our life stories and experiences are all different.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> That the concept of marriage was forever


The concept is.. The reality of it isn't. Least for what 65% of us or whatever the divorce rate is now. :smthumbup:


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> The concept is.. The reality of it isn't. Least for what 65% of us or whatever the divorce rate is now. :smthumbup:



I like to defying logic and stats. The statistics for the survivability of a marriage when a special needs child involved, not good. The stats, 80% of those marriages don't go on "till death do you part". 

We are going on 20 years this December, oldest son (special needs son) is 15. Is it happily ever after every day? No, but I could not have been blessed with a better family.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Wolf1974 said:


> The concept is.. The reality of it isn't. Least for what 65% of us or whatever the divorce rate is now. :smthumbup:


Edited: _That marriage was forever.
_


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Ikaika said:


> I like to defying logic and stats. The statistics for the survivability of a marriage when a special needs child involved, not good. The stats, 80% of those marriages don't go on "till death do you part".
> 
> We are going on 20 years this December, oldest son (special needs son) is 15. Is it happily ever after every day? No, but I could not have been blessed with a better family.


That's truely awesome. It speaks volumes of two people who can be put upon and still push through together. I wish I could find such a partner in life. Grats to you both


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Ikaika said:


> I like to defying logic and stats. The statistics for the survivability of a marriage when a special needs child involved, not good. The stats, 80% of those marriages don't go on "till death do you part".
> 
> We are going on 20 years this December, oldest son (special needs son) is 15. Is it happily ever after every day? No, but I could not have been blessed with a better family.


We have friends who raised 2 autistic children.. (one highly functioning aspergers, the other had silent mutiism but he started talking in high school.. .. the H had an affair, they got past it.. 

I honestly don't think I could have handled this sort of situation very well.. I'd need to lean on someone even more so through it though....yet I feel such a thing would have destructed my moods, possibly causing depression... it's not a nice to thing to admit....Just being honest... my hats off of you & your wife, you are very strong dedicated determined people to come out on top ..with feeling as thankful as you are amidst the daily challenges & struggles.


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

the divorce rate in every unit i have ever been in has been about 90%. 
statistically, i should have been divorced by now. according to western society, should have stopped loving my wife after the first two years... depression, lack of sex, abuse, sexual incompatibility, infidelity, deployment, etc.

well, fvck statistics. i didnt just wake up and decide to love my wife because it feels good. i chose to love her because its who i am. 

but holy crap, that limerence feeling hit a couple years ago and we are STILL riding the high.


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

In regards to my thoughts of marriage when I was young I always thought the term "we" would apply to everything. The woman I eventually married even told me one of the reasons she fell in love with me was because I always used "we" when talking about goals or future plans, she said no other man had talked of the future that way.

Then the reality set in after marriage, there wasn't much "we", mostly it was about her..and her..and her some more, makes me tired just thinking about it.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Personal said:


> That I could learn to play a musical instrument.


Darned if I didn't want to ... but my mother refused to allow us to buy a piano. Mom? She was, unfortunately, mentally ill (although back then, she was referred to as "odd").

I took piano lessons for a year, and my teacher allowed me to practice several times a week on her piano. Unfortunately, I needed far more practice time.

To this day, I still want to play the piano. I was allowed, by my crazy mother, to take clarinet and guitar lessons. Neither instrument was something I wished to pursue. I wanted to play the piano.

Mom's take on it? "See, I said you could never follow through on anything you attempted to learn."

And I wonder why I spent 25 years on the couch ...


----------



## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Personal said:


> At least couches are generally comfortable.


----------



## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

i picked up my brothers penny whistle one day and just couldnt stop myself. i ended up learning all of the wind instruments after a few years. 

never did learn how to read music. i went through marching band, various jazz bands, and never learned to read music. i played by ear.


----------



## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

That I'd never get married or have children.................. Until I discovered sex!!!!


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I said I'd likely not have children and didn't want to get married. I didn't have the little girl's fantasy of being a bride and being admired on a special day. I equated getting married to losing your own identity and independence. I thought I'd feel stifled. My view of marriage was negatively framed over considering the opposite to this. And I resisted the commercialization of it. I didn't feel the relationship needed to be formalized that way, when it's in the every day that counts.

We both said in the beginning that we'd keep it loose. We were too young to get serious. But... we ended up attached at the hip and talked about moving in together after 6 months. We held off and moved in at 12 months. I used to say that I'd rather we spend money on travel than getting married. I didn't realize we could have both. I also didn't realize it was becoming more important to him - until he asked me. It took me time to understand that we didn't need to have a traditional ceremony. He saw me after a bridal show and I broke down in tears saying I wanted to marry him but that just wasn't me. I felt pressure from the vendors and it didn't vibe with who I am. He hugged me and said we could come up with our own way of getting married, that suited us. We considered a few options and together decided on eloping to a tropical island. It was a beautiful, intimate celebration. I think in terms of celebration, as I already felt that we were committed to one another.

When we met, he presented as clean-cut. I wouldn't have imagined he'd be rocking the tat and long hair (and I dig that). In those early days, part of me was waiting for it to end. I thought he'd go back to his home country. I'd mentally prepared myself for that to happen. It didn't. Overall I'd say that I underestimated his inner strength and the growth we both needed to experience. I underestimated how much marriage/LTR could offer in terms of deep intimacy and what a beautiful thing that is to experience together.


----------



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

I thought I would be with someone and we would enjoy doing things together, the simple things. I also thought that if I did all of the things the stereotypical husband doesn't do around the house, that I would be thought of as amazing, not so much.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> This thread makes me feel like I don't belong here..... I was completely backwards from most of you.. not having much hope in my youth due to seeing my parents divorce,


This thread makes me realize how negative my thoughts were. I didn't consider finding a Prince Charming or someone to save me in some way. If anything, I had attitude of 'I'll save my damn self, thank you very much..' It was a protective front. I'm not like that anymore. He now encourages me to face the spiders myself haha. 

I knew all the things I didn't want. What I wouldn't put up with. I didn't focus much on my own boundaries and behavior and what I could give. And yet I've always been a hopeless romantic.


----------



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

After giving this some more thought, I can think of many unrealistic ideas i had as a young person; to be honest, I'm not sure I had anything right. In addition to my other post,

I also thought being nice, helping out around the house, and being a good provider was a major thing. Turns out, it's just an ok thing.

I thought when people got a divorce, there was a major reason that would put a look of shock on people's face. I didn't realize it could just be because someone isn't happy anymore for a lot of little reasons.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

That your spouse was suppose to be your everything, your all, who was interested in all the same things you were, fulfilled all your desires and wants, and the two of you could basically exist in a vacuum and be totally satisfied.

Thankfully I was wrong.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

heartsbeating said:


> This thread makes me realize how negative my thoughts were. I didn't consider finding a Prince Charming or someone to save me in some way. If anything, I had attitude of 'I'll save my damn self, thank you very much..' It was a protective front. I'm not like that anymore. He now encourages me to face the spiders myself haha.
> 
> *I knew all the things I didn't want. What I wouldn't put up with.* I didn't focus much on my own boundaries and behavior and what I could give. And yet I've always been a hopeless romantic.


This was very true of me too, I always had the long haul in mind.. And there are many many many things I would never be able to put up with .. I can be very strong willed when I want something (sounds awful right [email protected]).... so I had to find someone compatible or we'd be at each other throats!! 

But I really DID desire to pamper & love a good man.. always felt that way, and be loved like that in return.....I've been a hopeless Romantic since I was 5 yrs old.. even watching cartoons, if there wasn't a little romance in there, I'd think "how boring!!".. I was always trying to "match make" my friends, almost succeeded a few times.. 

Yep.. this was me...







....which makes me sound sooooo naive...

It's the ONE THING I held out HOPE for (didn't expect him to have $$ or 6 pack abs)... I even got down on my knees & prayed for this special person to come into my life.. .(met him a few months later).. .

My H was dumped twice before he met me... he wasn't the hottest guy in school, he was on the shy side, girls didn't even notice him...He gave up on women, till he met me... he told me one day ....I just fell out of the sky & onto his lap... I kinda like our story.


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

I watched my parents marriage disintegrate before my eyes and I kept notes in my head.
I knew that all marriages would have times of trial and I stood ready for it. 
When my marriage went into crisis, I strapped on my armor and stepped onto the field ready to fight for it...only to find that she skipped out while I was getting ready.

Cant fight for someone if they arent there...


----------



## Basic"FairyDust"Love (Nov 19, 2014)

In my childhood, teens and early 20's I thought that all that was needed for a relationship was a mutual physical/sexual attraction with someone along with some similar interests in hobbies.

I soon learned that is not enough and that having similar values and goals is extremely important for a strong foundation. Character traits with your partner need to be in sync in order to have harmony. Without harmony comes unhappy homes and/or broken relationships.


----------



## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

That I would never have sex because it was weird and gross lol. 
Also that I would never have kids because it hurts and kids are hard work. I decided that I would just put a piece of sellotape on my V and my husband would just assume that we couldnt have kids. That was before I found out what sex actually was and you cant get pregnant by just sleeping next to your husband. That idea was brought on by my parents explaining how a baby was made. They forgot to tell me the main thing: sex! 

Then I always thought I dont need a man and they are just a pain in the ass and Id have a suer fancy career and be quite well off then adopt a couple of kids and take them to the beach and everyone would be so happy. 

I would have never guessed I would get married before my 18th.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

MysticTeenager said:


> That I would never have sex because it was weird and gross lol.
> Also that I would never have kids because it hurts and kids are hard work. I decided that I would just put a piece of sellotape on my V and my husband would just assume that we couldnt have kids. That was before I found out what sex actually was and you cant get pregnant by just sleeping next to your husband. That idea was brought on by my parents explaining how a baby was made. They forgot to tell me the main thing: sex!
> 
> Then I always thought I dont need a man and they are just a pain in the ass and Id have a suer fancy career and be quite well off then adopt a couple of kids and take them to the beach and everyone would be so happy.
> ...


LOL! Funny. But why marry so young?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Thought I would get married and have kids when I was little. Around 20-22 I just wanted to be married. Now at the age of 30 I want neither


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Jasel said:


> Thought I would get married and have kids when I was little. Around 20-22 I just wanted to be married. Now at the age of 30 I want neither


That's kinda sad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> LOL! Funny. But why marry so young?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It just felt right. My priorities changed when I met my H. I wanted things I never thought I would want.


----------



## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Eh I dont think marriage and kids are for everyone. Many just cant admit it. Societal pressure for both has always been pretty strong but thankfully I think that is changing.


----------



## SevenYears (Jun 23, 2014)

.


----------



## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Jasel said:


> Eh I dont think marriage and kids are for everyone. Many just cant admit it. Societal pressure for both has always been pretty strong but thankfully I think that is changing.


Bingo.

A lot of people should never have wed and/or had kids. It's not for everyone.


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

That if someone looks genuine and can even cry while saying they are not cheating, that they must be saying the truth. Because nobody could be that cruel or fake!


----------

