# Walking On Eggshells - when a partner has 'borderline personality disorder'



## WalkingOnEggshells (Nov 4, 2011)

I have been with my husband 40 years. For much of that time life with him has been akin to walking on eggshells. I know that I am no angel, though I believe in angels, and think of myself as sweet and kind and considerate, generous and loving and I like to think that I consider my husband, and perhaps that is why we have been together so long.

I realise that his childhood years were not good ones, he had an abusive father and a clingy mother and siblings he would fight with and who were largely jealous of his loving relationship with their mother which they did not appear to have.

Nevertheless putting my husband first and sympathising with his past has not done me much good. I seem to have spent the last 40 years trying to get away from him.

There are so many rules and regulations in our household. All his. I have a fridge magnet that reads 'when I married mr right, I didn't know his first name was always.' That is so true of him!

Just lately though, at least within the last few years the personality disorder has increased. Now he will hurl verbal abuse for hours on end, sometimes through the night, and then in the blink of an eye will suddenly go to the loo, or go outside or whatever and return and hug me and say something like you look/sound/feel miserable, what's the matter? And he has completely forgotten the harsh words and horrid things he said only moments before.

It has now come to being very afraid of his mood and life here is literally like walking on eggshells. I am fearful of where to tread next and most times my guts get screwed up fearful of his mood swings.

Another thing he is apt to do is say I go to Tescos and on the way home call at the Co-Op. I did not know I;d do that before leaving home, I told him I was going to Tescos, but when I get back and say I'd been elsewhere he will say 'I knew that you would. I knew before you left home you would call at the Co-Op, so why did you lie to me, huh? Why couldn;t you say you were going to the Co-op as well? You lied to me again didn't you? Why?' 
This happens such a lot lately that it is driving me around the twist.
There is so much more than this, so much much more. I just wondered if any others have this sort of thing to crack them up in their marriage? Partnership? Relationship?

Let me know please.
Thank you.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Who diagnosed him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

40 years of this hell? Wow..I thought 20 was bad.  

I wonder about these disorders. Does it really matter in the end? Seems like everyone has ADHD, or is Bipolar and the flavor now is BPD. 

What you are married to is a Crazy Man. Do you have the means to leave? Why stay the rest of your life with such a horrid person. 

Basically, IMO, that's what it comes down. Life is too short to waste your precious time with horrible people. I'm sure as heck am sorry I did.


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