# I found my husband cheated on me,what should I do now?



## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

My husband is a boss of a small company. We have been together since junior high school. Actually when we decided to marry with each other, my father invested his company so he can have his own career. And we were so happy and seemed to love each other. But things changed. Several days before when he was showering, his phone rang and I thought maybe there was some important thing so I answered his phone. But I was shocked when the other side of the phone blurt 'honey' in a woman's voice. I was so at a loss and asked her who she was. And she turned off the phone immediately. I realized things go wrong. And what happened later is beyond my receptivity.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are you two now? 

How long have you been married?

Do you have children?

Have you spoken to him about this? If you have not, don't until you talk this through with folks on here. Most cheaters lie when they are confronted.

If you have spoken to him, what does he way?


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

We are both 30 years old. We have been married for six years. Still don't have kids. I haven't told him as I know that he won't admit that. And that night I did little sleep. I checked his iPhone for contact history and messages when he was asleep. But it turned out none. I believe he has deleted those messages and contact history. I am so sad that a man I love so deeply is a liar. Although he didn't care me all the times, I just told myself that he was just busy for his work and I should understand him more. And now I have to pretend nothing happened. what can I do??? I am so at a loss. I can't tell my parents this thing now for the thing is not clear. Sisters, what should I do?


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## Daniel2514 (Sep 9, 2015)

OMG it's so creepy... A woman called your husband 'honey'. Although I want to say maybe it's just a misunderstanding, but I assume that your husband is cheating on you too. Because the woman hung up the call when she heard your voice... But you still need to figure out the truth. After all, he is your husband who has lived with you for 6 years...


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

I don't know. But how can a woman called him honey and when she heard my voice hunging up the phone immediately? I don't think it is a misunderstanding. But how can I confirm that he truly cheated on me? Please help me.


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## LimboLad (Sep 7, 2015)

Jenny Anderson said:


> But how can I confirm that he is truly cheated on me? Please help me.


You need evidence or a confession.
Did he see/hear you answer the call?
Is there a chance it was a wrong number....?


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

write down the number, check it against the call history on the bill. It's possible, albeit unlikely, that it was a wrong number.

Next step, get a voice activated recorder, and put it in his car.


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Jenny Anderson said:


> We are both 30 years old. We have been married for six years. Still don't have kids. I haven't told him as I know that he won't admit that. And that night I did little sleep. I checked his iPhone for contact history and messages when he was asleep. But it turned out none. I believe he has deleted those messages and contact history. I am so sad that a man I love so deeply is a liar. Although he didn't care me all the times, I just told myself that he was just busy for his work and I should understand him more. And now I have to pretend nothing happened. what can I do??? I am so at a loss. I can't tell my parents this thing now for the thing is not clear. Sisters, what should I do?


Slow down!

You have already found him guilty of cheating with almost no evidence.

You are convinced he's a liar.

Have you checked all text records?
Have you checked e-mail?
Have you checked phone logs?

I'm all for nailing a cheater, however, let's not tar and feather him on a potential wrong number.

I had a wrong number call before where a woman on the other end became real sexual in her description of what she was going to do to me when I came over. The call ended immediately when she realized I wasn't the intended person.

Was I guilty of cheating? Would I have been pissed if my then girlfriend answered the phone and herd all that and then just assumed I was cheating - you bet. That would have been a relationship ender.

Before going Judge, Jury, and executioner on your husband, do your diligence - check phone records, check phone logs, check e-mail. Verify.


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## dubsey (Feb 21, 2013)

snerg said:


> I'm all for nailing a cheater, however, let's not tar and feather him on a potential wrong number.
> 
> I had a wrong number call before where a woman on the other end became real sexual in her description of what she was going to do to me when I came over. The call ended immediately when she realized I wasn't the intended person.
> 
> Was I guilty of cheating? Would I have been pissed if my then girlfriend answered the phone and herd all that and then just assumed I was cheating - you bet. That would have been a relationship ender.


Yep, good point. I totally forgot about this, but I was once the recipient of a text message that was just a photo of some nice lady's feet, ankles, and panties pulled down to them. That was all you could see, so it was naughty, but tasteful.

Anyway, turns out, she had a loaner phone without all her contacts and fat fingered her hubby's number and was mortified when I said "this is nice and all, but you've got the wrong number, I'm afraid, however, my wife says you have a nice pedi."


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Agree with others. It could very well be a wrong number.

Check the cell phone records and see if he is calling/texting that number. Then come back and tell us what you find.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Yep it could be a wrong number, or someone trying to cause trouble. So do some detective work.

Check his phone records to see if he's been calling and texting with one or two numbers a lot.

If he has, there are ways to retrieve deleted text messages.

Here's a tread to that talks about how to get evidence:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html

If you find solid evidence of an affair, do not confront him right away. Come here and let us help you with a plan of action.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

OMG are you really ready to throw your marriage down the tubes because your husband's cell phone rang with some random woman who said "honey" and then hung up?

I mean, I'd be suspicious as hell, but even I wouldn't do that, and I'm a cynic.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Review the cell phone bill to identify the number that called. If he hasn't deleted his call history in the phone you can retrieve the number from there. If he syncs his phone to a computer or iPad you should have a copy of all his old text messages even if deleted. His contacts should also be on the computer, as Apple stuff syncs everything these days. So you might be able to see if he has this number in his list of contacts. Search FaceBook and LinkedIn for that number, and see if he is friends with her on those.

What you're looking for is some kind of proof he is having ongoing contact with this number.

A wrong number is quite possible. I've had numerous wrong number calls to my cell, including a few interesting ones. But never have I had numerous incoming and outgoing calls to the same wrong number.

Search his car thoroughly for any evidence of hanky panky.

A VAR in his car is a good idea after you've done other snooping. Velcro it very securely under the seat so that it cannot come loose no matter what. See member Weightlifter for a specific model of Sony VAR. If he is cheating you will know within a few days, maybe a week at max. Cheaters think they're safe to talk privately in their car. Note that the VAR may not be legal to use like that. You would do this only to inform yourself of what is really going on. Never tell him or anyone else on the planet ever that you did this.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Thor said:


> A wrong number is quite possible. I've had numerous wrong number calls to my cell, including a few interesting ones.


A few months ago I kept getting collect calls from a convict in a federal correctional facility! They obviously had the wrong number (I think ). Despite me refusing the call and telling them it was the wrong number, they kept calling about once a week. lol

No reason to dump your marriage based on one random phone call.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I had some dudes calling from Vegas. Apparently a girl made up a number to hand out to guys she met in clubs, and it was my number. So I got messages on my voicemail saying how much fun it was to meet her in the club and they wanted to get together with her. My wife would have thought I had a secret gay love life going on in Vegas if she'd heard the voice mail.


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## Daniel2514 (Sep 9, 2015)

It can be a wrong call or a real affair. But for now the most important thing is to confirm if your husband is cheating on you. So just relax yourself.


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

Sisters, thank you all for your advices. I have checked his iPhone and found no messages or contact history with that phone number. But I still feel wired about whole thing. My husband always slept out and told me that he was very busy. Once I thought that he was truly busy but now I am afraid not. This call thing reminds me a thing that at one time when we talked, he asked that if he turned to love other woman, what will I do? I answered without mind saying whatever. He just kept silence. OHH.... I don't know. I believe that he deleted the messages and contact history with the phone number. Maybe I need to find out the number and call it. I must find ways to get the deleted messages and contact history back. Or I will be crazy for the whole thing. Sisters, do you know any method to get the deleted messages back??


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

He didn't see me answering the phone for he was showering that time. I can't even fall asleep. My whole mind is about him and about the call.


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

Yes, you are right. I should verify.


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

Yeah, I won't tell him if I find evidence. I will turn to you because I really need your help. Thank you so much for your comfort.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Jenny Anderson said:


> Sisters, thank you all for your advices. I have checked his iPhone and found no messages or contact history with that phone number. But I still feel wired about whole thing. My husband always slept out and told me that he was very busy. Once I thought that he was truly busy but now I am afraid not. This call thing reminds me a thing that at one time when we talked, he asked that if he turned to love other woman, what will I do? I answered without mind saying whatever. He just kept silence. OHH.... I don't know. I believe that he deleted the messages and contact history with the phone number. Maybe I need to find out the number and call it. I must find ways to get the deleted messages and contact history back. Or I will be crazy for the whole thing. Sisters, do you know any method to get the deleted messages back??


As most say here it is premature to convict him based on one phone call, however I would say that now you look back there are lots of little things that do not jive, gut feelings etc about what he says and does that does not make sense and you have told yourself that it is your imagination.
Investigate, because it is not your imagination. Do NOT let him know you are investigating, get a friend to call that number and see who it is at the other end, go from there, have him followed, VAR the car, etc. Now is the time to shut up put observe, record everything in a journal.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jenny Anderson said:


> Sisters, thank you all for your advices. I have checked his iPhone and found no messages or contact history with that phone number. But I still feel wired about whole thing. My husband always slept out and told me that he was very busy. Once I thought that he was truly busy but now I am afraid not. This call thing reminds me a thing that at one time when we talked, he asked that if he turned to love other woman, what will I do? I answered without mind saying whatever. He just kept silence. OHH.... I don't know. I believe that he deleted the messages and contact history with the phone number. Maybe I need to find out the number and call it. I must find ways to get the deleted messages and contact history back. Or I will be crazy for the whole thing. Sisters, do you know any method to get the deleted messages back??


You said that you checked his iPhone. Does that mean that you check on the iPhone itself? Or did you check his phone bill?

I have you a link to a thread that gives all kinds of info on how to do things like retrieve deleted messages. 

Also how to use a VAR in his vehicle. Most people who are cheating use their car as a private phone booth. It's a good way to find out what a person is up to.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you get that woman's phone number, do not call her yet. If he is having an affair, she will tell him. Then he will become more secretive.

Do you have access to his phone bill, her number should be on the bill.


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## Daniel2514 (Sep 9, 2015)

Have you checked his computer? Although you found nothing on his phone, but there still has some methods can retrieve messages he deleted. Do you have his iCloud password?


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

Tried that. Useless...... But my friend told me that I can use data recovery tool to get back the deleted message if there existed any messages.


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

I need to find a data recovery tool to check his phone. Do you know any useful data recovery tool?? HELP!


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## Sowards Aron (Sep 10, 2015)

My wife cheated on me too. But you will be fine cause time will push you move on. Don't think too much.


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

Sowards Aron said:


> My wife cheated on me too. But you will be fine cause time will push you move on. Don't think too much.


 Really? How did you find your wife cheated on you? Are you divorced from your wife now?


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## Derikkibak (Sep 9, 2015)

I happened to know a software that I used to check my wife's phone named iMyfone iPhone Data Recovery. I cannot accept it at first when I found she was cheated on me. Sowards Aron is right, time will push you move on and heal all wounds.


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

I googled iMyfone data recovery for iPhone. Is this one?? REMOVED LINK
Does it work??


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## Derikkibak (Sep 9, 2015)

Jenny Anderson said:


> I googled iMyfone data recovery for iPhone. Is this one?? REMOVED LINK
> 
> Does it work??


It worked for me. I found my wife's call history and flirting text messages with her lover!! They been together for about 7 months before I found out. Now divorced, still feel the pain; only time can heal I think.:frown2:


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

Derikkibak said:


> It worked for me. I found my wife's call history and flirting text messages with her lover!! They been together for about 7 months before I found out. Now divorced, still feel the pain; only time can heal I think.:frown2:


Thank you so much. I have downloaded it. I will check my husband's phone tonight when he falls asleep. I actually hope that nothing will appear in his phone cause I love him so much. I don't want to lose him and I don't want to divorce him.


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## Daniel2514 (Sep 9, 2015)

Jenny Anderson said:


> Thank you so much. I have downloaded it. I will check my husband's phone tonight when he falls asleep. I actually hope that nothing will appear in his phone cause I love him so much. I don't want to lose him and I don't want to divorce him.


Have you used the software? Dit it recover your husband's messages? Did you find something? Hope it is just a misunderstanding.


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## Jenny Anderson (Sep 2, 2015)

I am so sad now. I don't know what I can do now? He really cheated on me. I used that iMyfone data recovery tool to check his iPhone and the messages are just like sharp knife to stab into my chest. I can't bear that he have been already with that woman for seven years which means before we married they had already got together. And the woman is pregnant now. Why this cruel thing happen to me??? And the woman is asking him to divorce me. And the messages answered that he will divorce me. I haven't told my parents because I am afraid that they can't stand this. And I am very confused that why he married me when they had already been together????? Should I ask him?? Should I told him that I have already known his shame thing??? Help me please!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

JA, so so sorry this is happening to you. Do not make any decisions now as you are in a state of flux. Make sure your keep the evidence in a safe place, copies of everything backed up so that he will not try and erase it, etc.
You have to confront him with the evidence but do not tell him what you are going to do. YOu should ask him anything you want to know, you have a right to. However, before you do that, gather all the financial documents you have as a couple, copy everything, banks, insurance, investments, company accounts, etc. 

Tell your parents, his family, your other family members, friends. I wonder did he marry you to get his hands on your father's money? This will cause more complications. You need to speak to your father about this, as he may want to withdraw the investment in your WH company. Your parents have to know. 

If he already has a child with OW, then I doubt you would want to stay in the marriage, but you don't have to make decisions now. (It is likely he will give excuses, beg you, etc, do not fall for any of it). What he has done is a gross betrayal. i know you love him but he has treated you terribly and is not the man for you. You sound still relatively young and luckily have no kids, so you can have a good future without him.
Get yourself some IC immediately as the days ahead will be rough. 
Contact a divorce lawyer and ask for a consultation to see what your rights are especially over his business. 

So sorry you are here, but you have a family who will be there for you, take one day at a time.


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## Daniel2514 (Sep 9, 2015)

So you got the evidence that your husband has been cheating on you, right? Then save the messages you found. If you two is going to divorce, the messages will be the strong evidence. Be strong!


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

So sorry to hear that you found the evidence, I'm sure that is gut wrenching.

Gather the evidence and store it. Eventually when he is confronted, you'll want to have enough that there is absolutely no way he can deny anything.

Take some time to process through your thoughts and get together with a close, caring female friend of yours to open up to. If everything he did is true, then you might just consider filing for divorce and surprising him with that. Whether you ultimately get the divorce or not would be up to you (in most states, you have to wait a long while for a divorce process to play out) but it will give you a lot of time to think about it and see how he responds to the whole thing, while protecting yourself (and your kids if you have any) in the process. Consider opening separate bank accounts quickly.

I know you hesitate to tell your family, and I can understand that. If you can do a lot of these things on your own without them, go ahead, but if you need their help/support, don't hesitate to share what you are going through with them.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Jenny Anderson said:


> I googled iMyfone data recovery for iPhone. Is this one?? REMOVED LINK
> 
> Does it work??


I gave you a link to a thread that talks about software to do this.
Did you even look at it? Look to see what suggested there.

Here is the link again.


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html


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## warshaw (Jul 31, 2015)

Your husbands phone rang, you answered it, and a woman said "honey".

How could she mistake your voice for his?

Do you have a deep voice?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Clever "infomercial" you all have going here.

Folks, this thread is nothing more than a fake story to sell the software. Bans on the way.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

There were a lot of low post count new contributors making it suspicious.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

lol, clever

I thought it was fake from the first post.

Change in how poor the grammar in one post and relatively okay grammar in another meh


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Ugh.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

well it was good marketing huh


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Well damn.

What am I supposed to do w/ this crap software...?

LOLOLOLOL


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