# won the battle to run the budget.



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Yes I finally go my wife's fingers out of the budget. now I am trying to sort everything out. She has been massaging the debt for a long time. We have a lot of hidden debt. Like our utility bill she allowed us to build up at 300 debt. They won't cut us off unless it is over three hundred. old Cancel CC debt. I have two judgements against us. and the bills are scattered everywhere. I have tried to come up with a running balance sheet but every time a make a budget magic transactions keep popping up and I am finding this to be crazy. Anyone been in my position. I literally feel like locking down our accounts until I can get this sorted out. and of course me wife never has time to go over her "system"


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

I have not been in your position, but....
I feel sorry for you and I wish you luck......


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

oooh. Tricky. Locking down the accounts and sorting it all out is probably the most financially responsible thing to do. However, I bet that would open up all kinds of problems starting with her feeling like you're trying to control her. Yet she won't find the time to work it out with you? Ick, I would NOT want to be in your position. 
Best thing I can think of given the little information you have provided is to suggest putting that ball in HER court. Ultimatum time?? "I don't want to keep you out of the accounts, but unless you are willing to take the time to sit down and sort this out with me, I am going to have to be the sole custodian of these funds until I can figure them out." 

??? IDk, maybe? That sure would kick my butt into gear to sit down and work them out!


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## Ladymoon (Sep 17, 2013)

If you 'lock down' the accounts then your wife isn't taking responsibility for her actions. Sitting down together is a good idea - have you considered going to an organisation to help you get out of debt and manage your finances better? 

Maybe if she hears from a third party that her spending is out of control it will have more of an impact than if she thinks you are nagging her or trying to control her. Also, women spend when we're unhappy, maybe there is a deeper issue to explore?

I have ongoing financial difficulties in my own marriage so I'm speaking from experience. Hope it helps!


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## Clark G (Sep 5, 2012)

This is a tricky situation but it is good you got a handle on it before it got even worse. 

I've seen this happen before and it can get ugly. But if you confront it head on and a recommendation from above by talking to an expert/third party may help you two work together and face facts instead of playing the blame game and denying the situation??

It was when my ex and I did financial peace university with dave ramsey that we were finally able to get on the same page about our budget and spending.

Good luck

Joe


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## GeddyHouser (Dec 15, 2012)

My divorced friends have all told me that their ex wives ran up huge debt, good to get a grip on it now.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

run a credit report on her. not the free one because it sometimes won't list everything. pay for the triple credit report check.

but be carefull and make sure its not illegal without her consent. say your running a report on both of you so you can get a handle on whats up and make a plan to get out of the mess she created.If she balks then shes hiding much more than you know.

if the debt is in her name only then you might not be responcable for it and she can file for bankruptcy or go through a debt credit counceler and they will set up a program and get her interest rate reduction on her credit cards.

if she isn't on board then you need to run one on your self and remove her for all accounts and take control of your responsibilities. then see a lawyer and know your rights. 


make her call all the credit cards and send statments from as far back as possible .

If she dosen't coroperate and willing so then you have a tough decission. it might be better to start divorce now to stop the bleeding so to speak.


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