# do i hold on or let go need advice from the ladies



## confused200 (Mar 16, 2010)

little background so basically we dated for 2 years got married and it will be a year in 2 months but what lead to our seperation was me being depressed about work, life and everything else. then she started playing an online game which is ok but then it went from online game to people from that game texting her or calling her. Sad thing is she talks to this guy who is supposedly engaged and a girl whose husband gets deployed every once in a while. Only reason i found this out i was looking through our phone bill and noticed that number of the guy i knew it from previous picture on her cellphone of him and she told me she did that on purpose because she knew i was snooping. The problem though we are seperated and i am tired of blaming myself for everything which i can honestly say about 80-85 percent i caused. But know we hardly talk after we decided to work things out no communication at and it hurts me to know that she talks to another guy more in 1 day then she does with me in a month. Another thing is i ask her who she is talking to she says her friend her mom or her brother but when i ask these people you talk to R lately they say no, so why is she lying?


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## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

I can sympathize with your situation. It's awful when your spouse disconnects from you. Have you made your feelings on her talking to this guy clear to her? Have you considered any type of counseling? I think that you need to find out what else is going on with her before you just give up. Anything worth having is worth fighting for IMO.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

If you are separated and both decided to work things out, you really need to take action to do so...I would suggest marriage counseling so you can begin communicating and working on the issues.

It sounds as though she sought out others when you were not there for her for emotional support. Until you reconnect with her and she begins to trust that she can get this from you, she may not be quick to let go of these gaming friends.


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## confused200 (Mar 16, 2010)

ya and i don't mind those things anymore because its just a game but when her life started revovling around that her phone, rl friends, facebook it just got to much and i turned into a child because i felt neglected. Well things have been going up and down lately she agreed to let me stay this weekend and i have went to counseling twice. But the only problem is i was supposed to go over friday she called me monday and told me what date is the 16th on i said friday then she said i have to take my friend from school to seattle because someother girl bailed on her and i got upset so she got mad at me for backsliding. Told me to stop being paranoid that this lady is old enough to be her grandma but she is taking her to go see a band in which that ladies son is in. I am just tired of trying to do stuff with her when she is always to busy givin school is almost out and graduation is a month away but there has to be a balance if you say you want to work the marriage out


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

This is not about her right now--you need to focus on you and let her figure out her own stuff. Start working on finding your own road to happiness--get counseling, start exercising (works wonders for your mental and emotional health). You are much too emotionally dependent on her--you can be happy all by yourself; millions of people are. When you realize this and find out how to be that type of person, you will draw others to you--they will be attracted by your self-confidence and personal contentment. She may be one drawn to you--or not. By then, though, you will be in the position to decide if SHE is what your really want. So, turn this situation on its head and instead of feeling like you need to win her back, use it to make yourself the kind of man/husband you know you can be. No matter what she says or does, then, you will be so much better off. Good luck.


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## confused200 (Mar 16, 2010)

ya thats what my counselor told me to do and i have been doing it she is just being really strange so i am giving her space. only problem is while things were good we planned to move 900 miles south and thats only a month away and i need to know if she can give me a chance because i have things going on in my life with promotions or finding my own place to live because i live in a college town and its hard to find anything if your not quick about it and my transfer request got approved to where we will be living. Thanks for the advice i've been trying to do all of those things and i'm proud of myself for not calling her even though i want to


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