# Semi-Separated. Need Advice



## Cloudyday (Aug 24, 2012)

Back in August, my wife and I almost got divorced. The issues and problems were posted in another thread, you can find it below if you want some background, but basically the title says it all.

Considering Divorce or Separation » My money is hers; Her money is hers, and I do all the house chores! 

My wife popped the D word first, and later I convinced her in several attempt to keep trying, and she finally agreed to give it another 6 months to try, and hence now we are in this "semi-separated mode" - meaning she will come home 2-3 times a week. If she feels good about it, she can increase the day, or decrease it. 

Problem: my wife comes and go at any time as she please. If we run into argument while she's home, she'll leave right away if still early, or not coming back the next day. The reason she would give is that she has to take care of her mom (which is B.S. because she never thought of that before, why now). Then, I have to beg/bribe (take her out, buy her cloth, etc) her to come back. When she's back, we can't discuss any open issue (money, sex, children, cleaning, etc) because that would make her want to leave again.

She used to let me know all her schedule, who she hangs out with, when she will come home, and now she doesn't. When I ask her about it, she gets annoyed. Last week she went to visit her college roommate (female) in LA for a week, and came back Sunday night. I text her to call me after she check-in at the airport, she didn't. I text her to call me after she lands, she told me she was busy talking to her college roommate. I text her to call me when she's driving home, she didn't. Lastly, I ask her to call me for 2-3 minutes before she goes to bed, because I really miss her and just want to hear her voice, she replied saying she's too tired and will call me the next day. 

Next day, she called, and I was kinda upset, so I said to her I felt like I am the only one who's trying hard to save this marriage, she didn't say anything. Then I asked her, you've been gone for a week, don't you think about me at least a bit, or at least want to hear my voice, she doesn't answer. Then I asked her, do you really want this marriage to workout, and she doesn't answer. Then she said she's going to take a nap, and hung up.

Question: it has been 3 months with this semi-separated mode, and I honestly don't know where this is going? Based on her recent reaction as mentioned above....anyone knows what's going on? Should I keep trying for another 3 months? Honestly I am getting tired of it but don't want any regret when I get older.....any advice is truely appreciated!!


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## BigMac (Oct 29, 2012)

I bet there is OM somewhere in the clouds !

AS long as he is in the picture - forget it ( I'm in the similar situation ) !


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What exactly are you "trying"? I don't see anything in your post that suggests either of you is doing something to work out your differences. How are things going to improve if you're standing still?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cloudyday (Aug 24, 2012)

PBear said:


> What exactly are you "trying"? I don't see anything in your post that suggests either of you is doing something to work out your differences. How are things going to improve if you're standing still?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hi PBear, thanks for the question.

The problem right now is that when ever I bring up the topic/issues we have, my wife becomes silent, and she will go back to her mom's house, and I get this silent treatment. So basically I can't do anything other than "standing still".


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Cloudyday said:


> Hi PBear, thanks for the question.
> 
> The problem right now is that when ever I bring up the topic/issues we have, my wife becomes silent, and she will go back to her mom's house, and I get this silent treatment. So basically I can't do anything other than "standing still".


Maybe it's time to start figuring out your boundaries and start to enforce them. She doesn't appear interested in improving things, so maybe it's time for for you to start driving the process. 

C


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## Serenity_Prayer (Oct 31, 2012)

Sounds like you should try the 180. Right now she probably believes she can treat you any way she likes and come back whenever and if ever she wants.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

180 dark 180 dark 180 dark 180 dark

let her get curious about you 

be cool 

life is like a box of choccies.........be the one that she wants and cant have -the others will taste crap get me? 

best of luck ...


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

ps spend the money on you..go get some new threads, haircut

funk it up


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