# Should i contact om



## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

I found out who he is and his #. Should I call it? What do I have to lose? I never knew before...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

What do you have to gain?


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Do you have anything to gain from it? What do you plan to say?


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

I don't know. I just thought it might be fun.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Well, after thinking about it, my problem is not really with om. Its my wife who's chosen to do this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Don`t call her either.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

I won't. You know I had thought about all that I did and didn't do during my fight for my marriage. I thought about exposing the om since ww is on fb broadcasting him to everyone. I just thought maybe this would work or that. I guess no one can change a ww's heart or mind. Nothing would've worked in my situation. Only God can if be wants to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

He might get a Restraining Order on you also, just like your WW did. Now the OMW, if he has one, is a different matter. BTW, when does the restraining order that your WW has on you expire?


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

July '13. Its actually a PO. A little different. 

IDK. I've been doing so good. Maybe it was an attempt to destroy the happiness she seems to have by contacting him. Maybe I'm not as over her as I thought.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

marksaysay said:


> July '13. Its actually a PO. A little different.
> 
> IDK. I've been doing so good. Maybe it was an attempt to destroy the happiness she seems to have by contacting him. Maybe I'm not as over her as I thought.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Try to find out if there is an OMW if you can. Otherwise it would suck if OM were single and free to do whatever he wants with your WW. What you're feeling is natural, the need for revenge. After all, she's flaunting the affair and rubbing it in your face. But like you said, you leave that up to God.

What OM and your WW is doing is evil. I may be mistaken, but I think that's a violation of at least 2 of the 10 commandments. Contacting OM at this point isn't going to do you any good and I'm sure your WW demonized you well and good to him anyway. He's just gonna say you're getting what's been coming to you.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

What's crazy is I would take her back if she repented and expressed remorse. Maybe that's not crazy. It makes me think about the agony God might go through when we, his children become wayward and defiant. 

I don't even think I'm angry at her. I'm angry at what she's done to me and at what she's done to our family. I just can't find it in me to hate her or be angry. Love still resides in my heart for someone who does not deserve.it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

```
I don't even think I'm angry at her. I'm angry at what she's done to me and at what she's done to our family. I just can't find it in me to hate her or be angry. Love still resides in my heart for someone who does not deserve.it.
```
:iagree:


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## Lazarus (Jan 17, 2011)

Don't contact OM, not yet. In your own time, if ever. 

She's rubbing fvckbook in your face. Why? To make you jealous? Forget that FB. Delete it. Get rid of it. Start a plan for yourself. Do some of the exciting things you have always wanted to do but couldn't. If money is a problem, try something else. 

Whatever you do, don't ever let them think they've won. 

In your life give cheaters a wide berth, in fact, RUN! 

Anyone who betrays another deserves no respect.

Keep your head up high because you have Value. Think about that for a moment. 

Your WW what has she done to you. 

Cheaters have no value. 

Let me remind you some reasons why - might make you feel better. 

WW has KNOWINGLY thwarted you. She has stolen everything you held dear, your belief system under attack. 

Cheater traits: 
Harm
Untrustworthy
Liars
Sneaky
Insult, violated you.
Users - hang onto old vine whilst grabbing new vine
Abusive 
Destroy wellbeing of LS - but you can make that temporary
Closeness - abused
Trust - gone
Care-giving - none.
Stolen - a life you once knew and loved
Violated your whole understanding of rules, ethics, respect, morals the core of your being 
Trashed you like garbage
Value - sees you as if you have none
Disrepect 
Reckless disregard for your life, your wellbeing.

The distress caused goes beyond the event itself
Disrupts your life
Destablises a healthy mind
Deceives - lies to meet OM
Double crossed you


Anyone who does this to another has NO VALUE. 

Hold your head up high because you have Value. 

Let her waste her time of useless FB. 

Facebook is so yesterday.

She needs a life. You rise above this sh!t.

Good luck.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

:iagree:

Why continue to torture yourself because of facebook? Either delete your account or block her completely already. She's only doing this on facebook to do you harm, to hurt you, to rub it in your face. Block her or delete your account now!


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

First of all, I don't have access to her page because she blocked me a long time ago. Secondly, the info from fb was told to me by several people and it was unsolicited because I didn't ask for the info. Thirdly, I think I'm really done with this forum. 

Part of the meltdown was due to the fb info and the other was from the ideas I'd gotten and "what ifs" that arose from reading what others had done to help their situation. 

I had made such great progress overall the last 4-5 months but took a huge leap back yesterday. I realized I'm nit as over my wife as I may appeared to other or even had convinced myself. The deep love remains which made the fb broadcasting of her "new love" even more painful.

Don't beat me up for still living my wife even though her unfaithfulness has exceeded a year now. Don't tell me to just let go or move on. I STILL LOVE MY WIFE! Its a sad but honest truth. 

So this is my last post. Thanks for all the help everyone. Thanks for helping me learn all that I have. Thanks for being there to listen to my rants and raves. 

Goodbye.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Hopefully you read this cautionary tale. I personally know this acquaintance, whose unrepentant, cheating wife divorced him back in 1990. They have a daughter with special needs, that she gave him full custody of. She didn't end up marrying the OM, but she did end up remarrying, and they have been together ever since. Through the years, he's been supporting her as a close friend, in the vain hope that one day she'll come back to him. Even to the point of going on vacations with them, etc, etc. Even his whole family has been begging him to move on. 

He's had quite a few relationships since the divorce, but he eventually ruins them because he can't let go of his love for his cheating ex wife. He's thrown away his youth pining away for her. It's been 21 years and he pines away for her still.

It would be a real tragedy if you pined away for her the rest of your life. Life is just too short to pine away for someone that will never love you again.


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