# Divorce - Maintenance Issue



## iWrite4u (Feb 21, 2014)

Hi

This is my first post, so please be gentle!

I am from the UK. Myself and my wife separated early in 2013 but divorce proceedings have only recently begun. I do not want a divorce, but (a) I had not been a very good husband during the last three years of our marriage and (b) I did something really stupid during a very stressful time in my life. I have agreed to the divorce as that is what my wife wants. It is an amicable separation - indeed when we speak to each other it's very hard as it's clear we both still have strong feelings for each other but my wife says she simply cannot trust me any longer and she is very stubborn!

She has appointed solicitors to help her and of course they are trying to skin me for everything I have. My wife is very naive and is simply letting them deal with everything.

There are two main issues at the moment.

(a) I am under psychiatric counselling at the moment and have been deemed a "high risk" of suicide by a mental health practitioner. I suffer from depression, and have done for a number of years (although being a bloke, I have done very little about it). I have faced a number of issues of the past year (loss of wife, rarely seeing my children, loss of home, loss of job, on benefits then self-employed, trying to build business) and it is not doing my mental health any good having to deal with this, especially as I am facing a separate but related highly-stressful situation in my life at the moment. Do I have any rights to suspend the process until I feel better? I am scared I will make some life changing decision whilst in this state that I pay for later. I am not talking about a lengthy suspension - just a few months until I get my head around it. It does not help when I get the next "demanding" letter from her solicitors saying I need to reply with 7 days OR ELSE.

(b) I have been asked to give maintenance of £300 a month IMMEDIATELY. I am self-employed and count myself lucky if I earn £200 a week, after tax and NI. I think £300 a month is way over-the-top, but I don't know where I stand. We have two children together who live with their mother who I see on average one day a fortnight. They are 13 and 16. My wife works two days a week and is on benefits - she has told both myself and someone else that she is not seeking more work as "it is not worth it". I have made some initial investigations and it seems I am not responsible for matrimonial maintenance as my wife does not need it, and I am only liable £7 a week for the kids! Obviously £7 a week is far too low, but then £75 a week seems far too high. I am scared her solicitors will try and fleece me over the house (we own a property valued at £190,000 jointly with no mortgage) if I say I'm not going to pay the £300.

Any help or advice is warmly appreciated.

Many thanks.

P.


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

How long were you married?

If you were in a LT marriage, I think you are getting off lightly. 

Consequences suck, don't they?


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## helolover (Aug 24, 2012)

It is my strongest recommendation you secure legal counsel and representation for yourself immediately. Do not belive that amicable = amicable in divorce proceedings. 

You are in over your head without your own counsel.


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