# Off with the rose colored glasses?



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Guess this is a part of the process of getting over Lie and the nearly 26 years (24 married) together. Been having randomly occuring thoughts lately and it seems that for every good/positive one there are at least 2x as many bad/negative ones. Are my recollections now colored as a result of his actions/choices in the last year?

I am trying oh, so hard to not become an angry and bitter person through all of this. (story can found on "He dropped a bomb on me" thread.)

I just don't know right now. I try very hard to not bash or say negative things about him whenever either kid mentions him. DS is not very kind in what he says about his dad as it seems he is hurt by the fact that L has yet to meet Puddin', only granddaughter for us. DD is living with L & TW at the moment so any of our communication is kept focused on her, in 6 months I have not asked a single thing about L or TW. It is sticking in my craw that L has gotten to meet DD's potential boyfriend. DD told me it went pretty good when J met dad and... she stopped herself short of saying TW's name. I'm just curious what, if anything so far, DD has explained about her parents' current status?

Maybe I just need to stop wasting my effort and energy thinking these thoughts? If I keep on this path I'll surely find myself in a deep, dark, emotional pit and I don't want to go there.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Well, I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal -- but I also think that it is not particularly good for you. If you can find a way to interrupt the negative thoughts, I think you should, as dwelling on them does tend to give them more power.

Good luck,honey!


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

ahhh how the scales fall from our eyes! I thought the ex was the best thing since sliced bread and ignored the red flags all over the place. But that's what we do when we're in love, no? When something ends I think it helps to think about the negatives sometimes, otherwise you'd drive yourself crazy over what you'd lost

now I wonder what the hell I ever saw in him - but I think that will pass too. It's just a stage you have to go through, I'm hoping that very soon it will be mere indifference and another bad choice chalked up to being swayed by charm and a massive tongue 

it really was huge though


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> ahhh how the scales fall from our eyes! I thought the ex was the best thing since sliced bread and ignored the red flags all over the place. But that's what we do when we're in love, no? When something ends I think it helps to think about the negatives sometimes, otherwise you'd drive yourself crazy over what you'd lost
> 
> now I wonder what the hell I ever saw in him - but I think that will pass too. It's just a stage you have to go through, I'm hoping that very soon it will be mere indifference and another bad choice chalked up to being swayed by charm and a massive tongue
> 
> it really was huge though



ROFLMAO! It wasn't so much massive as SILVER! Even his own brother has called him "silver tongued". Of course he was referring to L's ability, since childhood by all accounts, of talking his way out of a lot things. For example, the semi he owns currently, was in for some major repairs. The bill was about $2-3K, yet he managed to talk the shop into letting him get the truck without paying a single penny for the repairs! He told them that he needed the truck in order to make the $$ to pay the bill and promised to do so! 

That's a prime example of his financial smooth talking. Has put his mom, 2 brothers and nearly countless others , on the hook financially.


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