# 3 Ways to Erase Post-Affair Anger



## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I just found this and thought it may help:



> After you found out about your spouse’s affair, have you:
> 
> 1- Been acknowledging and working through the post-affair anger?
> 
> ...


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## Saki (Dec 7, 2011)

My MC gave me a good CD regarding understanding anger. 2 things I learned and find VERY useful from the CD:

1
Anger is a secondary response to a primary emotion. You are not just anger, you are angry because you are feeling something. 

In my case, I was angry because I felt worthless, I felt as if no one cared about me, I was afraid of the abandonment that accompanies those feelings, I was in pain from betrayal and being lied to by the person I married. 

I began to focus on those feelings and not on the anger. I allowed myself to FEEL those things, to feel the pain. Once I learned to recognize the feeling underneath the anger, the anger tended to melt away.

2
Anger is a physical form of energy. You need to do something to dissipate that energy. You can choose to control this energy or you can choose to let it explode of it's own will.

In my case, I try to dissipate the energy through exercise, through self reflection and reading material that helps me understand my situation, and through journeling. I also found that if something is bothering me, I need to address it asap. I had an issue earlier this week that was driving me crazy, and I finally addressed it and immediately the anger went away.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Mori, I am hypnotised by you, lol


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Mori, I am hypnotised by you, lol


Yes I have such a 'mesmerizing' personality that I've often put women to sleep. Isn't that right, honey? (mori turns around to find his lady love snoring).


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Mori:

I don't think anyone here has changed avatars more than you have. How 'bout just a picture of yourself? We'd love to see the real you.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> Mori:
> 
> I don't think anyone here has changed avatars more than you have. How 'bout just a picture of yourself? We'd love to see the real you.


the real Mori


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I think eventually if you are dealing with infidelity in your relationship, you get tired of being angry. Then you use that little bit of anger left to realize that you need to do things for you ( basically the 180) and pull yourself together. The more you focus on yourself and being a better person in your marriage, the anger will die down. (assuming that your spouse is also working and being a better person as well)


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Thorburn said:


> the real Mori


Close enough, just a tad taller though.


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