# Husband says I have a higher sex drive than him



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

I'm 32 and a little over weight. My husband is 33 and average. We have been married for 13 years and we have a 12 yr old daughter. I have become very sexual in the past few years. My husband is not a very sexual person. I need more passionate and spontaneous sex. We have sex once every week to week and half and its the same sex the same way in the same place every time. I've tried to talk to him and get him to tell me some of his fantasies so we can act them out. He says he doesn't have any. When I tell him some of my fantasies he just kind of shrugs it off and doesn't say much..and he certainly doesn't try to fulfill them. I'm always the one to say how man days it's been since we've made love. He doesn't make sexual comments towards me. He doesn't tell me I'm sexy. He doesn't even try to just passionately kiss me and caress me without having sex. When I ask him what's going on with him he just says he's tired or his stomach hurts or that it hasn't been that long and 4 days will have gone by. I feel like its me but of course he says its not. It was this way when I was smaller than I am now so that makes me feel like its something with him. I just here all my friends and well society talk about how men think about and want sex all the time, and in my case, I'm not sure it even crosses his mind. He says he wants to do all those things he just doesn't and he doesn't know why. So my question is.. Do any of you know why this is? It's to the point that I'm watching porn and fantasizing about what it would be like to be with someone else. I haven't slept with anyone but him since I was 17...I'm 32 and at my sexual peek and my husband is asleep at the wheel!!! HELP!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

OH AND! he doesn't perform oral sex on me. He's probably done it a total of 10 times in our 15 year relationship. He says he just doesn't like it...I love to perform oral sex on him. It turns me on to make him feel good..when we do make love I feel like he wants to hurry up and get it over with and he says he's trying to make me enjoy it...but if he enjoys having sex with me and wants to do it why do I always have to initiate it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

my wife does have a higher sex drive than me not going to lie, she has gotten very overweight (medical problems) but even when im not in the mood ill do it to make her happy. i do preform oral and she does also (did go a whole year without a bj, finally started back up again).


so it does happen, there has been times i havent wanted to have sex for weeks at a time, but did to make her happy.


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

Terrence..is the reason your sex drive is lower because your wife is overweight? Do you still find her attractive? Or do you just have sex with her because you love her and want to make her happy..even though you are not turned on
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

I feel like my husband just does it to make he happy..not because he is attracted to me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Angus1985 (Feb 14, 2013)

Why are you giving him oral if he is not reciprocating? Big mistake!


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

I don't know..I like to do it and it turns me on...and when he finishes that's it..I get nothing. Sometimes I feel like I should shake his hand when it's over. I've recently stopped giving him oral just because we are alone and I'm horny. When I do that for him and he gets up and walks off without so much as touching me..it's hurtful and I'm left feeling very disappointed. But sometimes I'll give him oral just because I want to feel that connection with him. Then when it's over and he walks away I wish I had never done it to begin with.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

If he was like this before its not your size.

Was your husband EVER sexual? If so when did it change? What were YOU like towards him before you became more sexual?


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

I want him to just want me so bad he can't stand it. I want him to be rough with me sometimes. Spank me. Just do me like he's been waiting all day for it. Every once in a while he will pull my hair and I love it. I've told him I like it when he does me from behind and pulls my hair..he says he likes it better missionary so that's the way we do it 99% of the time...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

He was more sexual during our early 20s (not overly sexual) and I was busy being a new mother and a new wife and I was very self conscious about my body and still am.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

no her weight has nothing to do with it, i love my wife. we do have great sex. its all on me for not wanting to have sex


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Did you reject him by chance? Even just by body language did you say no? You know when you were a new mom, new wife and subconscious.


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

I guess I should also mention that after we had been married for 2 years he walked out on me and came back 2 months later. For the past 10 years I've questioned him about what he did while he was gone and why he left in the first place. It wasn't until March 2012 that I found out he was do cocaine and having sex with a girl I had always suspected he had been with. Since then it's been very hard to deal with the fact that it didn't just happen but it feels like it just happened. I feel like he had the hot kinky sex with her that I want him to have with me...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

communicate with him, i never give my wife pity sex and when we start i always get in the mood. my wife is always trying new things to spice up our sex life. sometimes my wife likes it rough pulling hair nails down back but she tells me


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

Just to be clear the drugs and other girl happened 10 years ago. I just found out about it in March 2012
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

im sorry he did that and i agree i bet he did have that kinky sex with her and maybe just maybe thats why he wont do it with you doesnt want to put you in the same boat as her (i bet he doesnt respect her and does you)


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

wow thats a long time to lie to you and keep a secret like that


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

I don't want to have to tell him. I've told him would like that sometimes so why should I have to tell him.. Why doesn't he just do it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

terrence4159 said:


> wow thats a long time to lie to you and keep a secret like that


Yes it is!!! So it's very hard to believe anything he says to me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

yeah thats a new relm i dont have a clue what going on in his mind im sorry you have to go through that i really am.

my xw cheated but i D her and we had a 6 month old son at the time.


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

terrence4159 said:


> im sorry he did that and i agree i bet he did have that kinky sex with her and maybe just maybe thats why he wont do it with you doesnt want to put you in the same boat as her (i bet he doesnt respect her and does you)


I know he did and he always tries to tell me that's not the way it was but I will never believe that. I feel cheated. It's not fair that I don't get to be sexually fulfilled by my husband because he did that with someone else... Sometimes I want to cheat on him!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

dont stoop to that level. and you HAVE BEEN CHEATED. he needs to start thinking about you or you need to start thinking about if you want to deal with this forever or move on to someone who will give you what you need and DESERVE


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

Like right now... It's 9:00pm we are home alone with no kid, I just got out of the tub. He is on the laptop in the recliner and I'm on the couch on my iPod. We had sex (plain and boring) last night so I can just about bet my bottom dollar that won't happen again for several days.. And I mean no touching or anything.. Just a little hug and a peck kiss
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

terrence4159 said:


> dont stoop to that level. and you HAVE BEEN CHEATED. he needs to start thinking about you or you need to start thinking about if you want to deal with this forever or move on to someone who will give you what you need and DESERVE


I know, you're right. I don't know if I can or want to deal with this forever. I'm going to work hard to lose this weight and if nothing changes then I'm going to have some big decisions to make.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

lol its 7 pm here im down in the man cave watching the walking dead and wife upstairs watching.......no idea lol.


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

My friends all talk about how they can't keep their husbands off of them and I can't get mine to touch me more than once a week at 11:00pm
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

right now worry about you! no one deserves to be cheated on.

to make you laugh my avatar photo the knife sticking out of my back has my XW's name in the handle


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

talk to my wife it would be the other way around 60% of the time i do initiate sax about 40% of the time


----------



## Peace2000 (Oct 27, 2010)

terrence4159 said:


> right now worry about you! no one deserves to be cheated on.
> 
> to make you laugh my avatar photo the knife sticking out of my back has my XW's name in the handle


LOL!! Thanks for that!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

well anytime you need to vent im here


----------

