# Girlfriends toxic friends



## theexpendable (May 9, 2013)

So where do you draw the line when your significant other has toxic friends they hang with? I've been dating a girl for about a year and we're both products of cheating exes. After her divorce she started hanging out with one girl in particular whom I see as a cancer to her and our relationship. This girl sits at home living off the govmt, is engaged but secretly wants to get back with an ex all the while having a dating profile up on one of the sites. Her fiance is a druggy and drunk. She's very loose and talks to other dudes all the time and would hook up if anyone would have her. This other friend was introduced via this girl and is very similar to aforementioned friend.

My girlfriend really isn't like them. She has a great job and a good head on her shoulders but she won't give them up. I debate every day whether I can handle it or not. They go on these out of town trips and it worries the hell out of me that they are going to get gf in some trouble. Gf swears she can handle herself and won't let things get out of hand. I know too well how easy it is when you hang with certain folks that seem to be attracted to this behavior.

Just looking to vent or if anyone has faced something similar. I just feel I'm between a rock and hard place right now. Thanks


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

Women who think cheating is wrong do not have GF's who cheat. I once dropped a GF when I understood that she had loose morals. It may be none of my business how a friend behaves with a married man when not with me, but I couldn't ignore it and let the friendship drop. My feeling of the whole thing was, well if she will do that, how can I trust her with my friendship? My GF's behavior is a reflection on me if I hang out with her. 

I think most women would think as I do, at least I hope so! So, with that in mind perhaps this girl is not the right girl for you.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

My best girlfriends and I share the same values and morals.  I could not be friends with someone who cheats and have no morals. 

If she continues to stay friends with these people, she will end up becoming like them.

Maybe, the person you think she is, is not who she is. She is just putting on a persona just for you.

The ball is in your court, you are just dating. You can always leave if your are not happy.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Doesn't look good for a solid foundation.

Decide if this is a necessary boundary for you, it sounds like it is, and let her know you can't continue with someone who hangs with reprehensible people and parties with them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

theexpendable said:


> They go on these out of town trips


Tell us a little more about these...


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## MRR (Sep 14, 2015)

based on my situation with my ex, I wish that I had paid better attention to the people she CHOSE to spend her time with. My guess is your GF is a lot more like her friends than you think. 

Think about that.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

You can tell a lot about a person's character by who they choose to spend their time with. I couldn't be friends with someone who didn't share my same ethical/moral values. 

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk


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## theexpendable (May 9, 2013)

MachoMcCoy said:


> Tell us a little more about these...


It's mainly to concerts a couple hours away. The story I get is they usually just eat, maybe go to some drag shows and the concert itself or hang in the hotel room. I truly believe her as she has given me no reason to not to. But as my ex cheated on me I am now very tuned to BS and red flags.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

theexpendable said:


> It's mainly to concerts a couple hours away. The story I get is they usually just eat, maybe go to some drag shows and the concert itself or hang in the hotel room. I truly believe her as she has given me no reason to not to. But as my ex cheated on me I am now very tuned to BS and red flags.


If they go in your GF's car, put a VAR in the car.


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

You sound incompatible. With your past, you're really are just torturing yourself.Find someone whose values are in line with your own.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I agree that your GF should ditch these loser friends. They sound like complete no hopers. I see why you have issues with them, I really do.

However, you can NOT tell her who to be friends with. You're not her father, she's an adult. All you can do is decide whether this is acceptable to you or not and act accordingly if it's not ie leave. No ultimatums, no threats...just a simple "I thought I was ok with this but I'm not, I can't continue this relationship, I wish you the best".

That is your absolute right - and that's what I would do in your shoes.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Celes said:


> You sound incompatible. With your past, you're really are just torturing yourself.Find someone whose values are in line with your own.


I think he thought he did.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

brooklynAnn said:


> My best girlfriends and I share the same values and morals. I could not be friends with someone who cheats and have no morals.
> 
> If she continues to stay friends with these people, she will end up becoming like them.
> 
> ...



^I agree^

Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

How often is she doing these outings? 

Yes these kinds of friends can be very toxic and cause problems. 

What discussion have you had with her about them? sometimes go the opposite way you think. Start showing up with your gf at every event and outing. See how quickly the toxic friends disappear when they know their behavior can't be hidden.

If you think your lady is going to be influenced and behave like them then she's not trustworthy. If that's what you feel then she's not a keeper.


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## Redactus (Nov 22, 2015)

My problems with my ex really started when she started hanging out with a group of friends consisting of newly divorced women and a new group of single women....it all went downhill from there...


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

theexpendable said:


> It's mainly to concerts a couple hours away. The story I get is they usually just eat, maybe go to some drag shows and the concert itself or hang in the hotel room. I truly believe her as she has given me no reason to not to. But as my ex cheated on me I am now very tuned to BS and red flags.


If,as you say,these friends live off of the government,who pays for all of these things?


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

My friend, it seems like you need a little jolt into the real world.

And let's save the testimonial about how wonderful your girlfriend is.

Here is what you can count on
(1) these friends are for sure taking her into social situations where other guys hanging around WITHOUT you anywhere to be found is for sure.
(2) you are not getting anywhere near the truth about what is going on when they go out of town
(3) her friends will for sure encourage her to "have some fun" when one of the guys they are encouraging has friends who wind up at the same table as your wife.

So basically, YOUR supposedly exclusive girlfriends has chosen as her posse no one but other women who are chasing strange **** as their primary social activity. And you are confident nothing has happened. And she adamantly refuses to give up this crew.

All I can say to you is good luck. You will need it if you do not get out of denial.


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