# How do you keep it from being boring



## Gomezaddams51 (Jun 15, 2020)

I was 23 and stupid when I got married the first time and my wife was 17. I was a virgin and she claimed she was. She was thin, cute and hotter than hell. I was in the Air Force for about a year when we got married and we had been married for 5 months and we made the mistake of her getting pregnant. To make matters worse, I got orders for Ankara Turkey for 15 months. I had the choice of staying and going after the baby was born, or go and come back when the baby was 6 months old. I decided to go before the baby was born and I must admit, Turkey was awesome, I was to low in rank to take my wife with me so I was basically single again for 15 months. The Turkish girls were HOT!! I didn't have sex with any of them but did have fun with them. When I got back, it was like I just got married all over again, I suddenly had a wife who had put on abut 100 pounds, a 6 month old son, and felt like I was trapped. Our sex life was OK, but nothing to write home about. Well actually it was rather boring not to mention having to deal with a 6 month old at the same time. About a year and a half our second son was born and our sex life got even more boring and hit or miss. Finally it became non-existent. Not to mention she gained another 100 pounds. I wanted to stray but stuck it out and was faithful at least physically, mentally is a different story. About 10 years later we tried marriage encounter and our sex life started again, at least she seemed to enjoy it. I was grossed out by the fat and sex was even more boring that it had been before. My daughter was born after that. Another couple of years and we went to marriage counseling and had another son was born. And another 100 pounds with each one. I decided to quit any kind of counseling. I got so the sight of all that fat sickened me and I finally bit the bullet and got a divorce, or as I like to say, “I got a Harley for my wife, best trade I ever made.”

I went through a series of females, most of the sex was mediocre at best. The best sex and most exciting sex was with a 37 year old, she was super sexy and cute, (I was 50). We had some wild sex and eventually she told me she wanted to just get on my Harley with me and ride away from her husband and kids and just keep riding. Eventually we broke up when they moved away, last I heard she had left her husband (and kids) and went off with her new lover.

I met a woman online that had all sorts of sex experience, she told me by the time she was 18 she had at least 50 partners and by the time I met her she had close to 200. However, instead of being wild in bed, she decided that sex was over rated and she became a born again virgin and stopped her wild ways and wild sexcapades. And so sex was once again boring and routine. Seems like shortly before I have met a woman after my divorce, they suddenly changed their wild ways and became settled down and BORING!! Anyway I bit the bullet since I was tired of being alone and married her. Our sex life has been mediocre at best and few and far between.

How do you spice things up? I am tired of boring sex and miss that little 37 year old chick….


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

You settled for someone where the sex is mediocre. Unless she is willing to spice things up with you, you'll find it (nearly?) impossible to do on your own, but you can up your game when the opportunity arises. Maybe @badsanta can give you ideas, though, as he's dealt with this. Aside from divorcing and dating until you meet someone more exciting (and consistent), then ask her if she'd consider swinging.

My first wife was not very sexually exciting, and after saying "I do" mostly said "I don't." I divorced her (one of the best decisions of my life) and eventually met a truly wonderful and highly sexual woman. We've had a great sex life, and added to it via swinging, polyamory, and a somewhat open relationship. Those things may not work for you unless you are both truly willing to try it - and most are not.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Obviously, for you, the secret is to find yourself another woman who isn't available. Otherwise, look in the mirror.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Sex may be a lot of things, even bad or not so good, but I have never found it boring.
Not even once.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

A little bit of advice for you my friend. 
You’re fifty not twenty. Your days of attracting hot girls who are up for anything in the sack are gone. 
You wasted years of your life already, don’t waste any more looking for someone unattainable.


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## Gomezaddams51 (Jun 15, 2020)

jorgegene said:


> Sex may be a lot of things, even bad or not so good, but I have never found it boring.
> Not even once.


LOL I guess it is just having sex with the same woman over and over and over and over and over again... Like driving the same car over and over, unless it is a Corvette, it just becomes boring and routine... You see the same naked body, and do the same positions and it just becomes a routine.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Gomezaddams51 said:


> LOL I guess it is just having sex with the same woman over and over and over and over and over again... Like driving the same car over and over, unless it is a Corvette, it just becomes boring and routine... You see the same naked body, and do the same positions and it just becomes a routine.


I’m starting to think that you don’t really like sex. 
You see it as a chore, would this be a correct assumption?


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## Gomezaddams51 (Jun 15, 2020)

Andy1001 said:


> A little bit of advice for you my friend.
> You’re fifty not twenty. Your days of attracting hot girls who are up for anything in the sack are gone.
> You wasted years of your life already, don’t waste any more looking for someone unattainable.


Unfortunately you are right.... Women my age are boring, set in their ways and sticks in the mud and most have broomsticks up their butts. I have gotten my wife to listen to a few of the musicians I like, LORDI, Voltiare, and 69 Eyes but mostly she is stuck in the 60's and listens to dinosaur music. Me I like Goth bands, Folk Metal, Viking Metal, and heavy metal, mostly European music that will never be played here in the US. I don't consider my life a waste, I had a lot of good times and met some interesting women, most half my age and I loved it. So now that I am old, I consider my life as being basically over and this is my penance for all the good times. But it sure would be nice to be able to enjoy life once again once in a while.


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## Gomezaddams51 (Jun 15, 2020)

Andy1001 said:


> I’m starting to think that you don’t really like sex.
> You see it as a chore, would this be a correct assumption?


Yeah when it is basically a routine job.


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## Gomezaddams51 (Jun 15, 2020)

Andy1001 said:


> A little bit of advice for you my friend.
> You’re fifty not twenty. Your days of attracting hot girls who are up for anything in the sack are gone.
> You wasted years of your life already, don’t waste any more looking for someone unattainable.


Oh by the way, I am 69 almost 70 next month...


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Sounds to me like you want to trade in the old model when sex becomes routine. Have you considered that having a deep emotional connection with a partner might keep the sex more exciting and less routine?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Gomezaddams51 said:


> LOL I guess it is just having sex with the same woman over and over and over and over and over again... Like driving the same car over and over, unless it is a Corvette, it just becomes boring and routine... You see the same naked body, and do the same positions and it just becomes a routine.


Well, what did you expect when you wanted a Corvette, but kept buying sedans?

You settled in your first marriage, wasted your youth and most of middle age, and the repeated the same mistake by marrying yet another woman who is also a dud.

I'm in my mid 40's. My husband and I just celebrated 21 years. The sex is not boring even on an off day. I'd guess that's due to mutual sexual attraction, matching libidos, and kinks.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Boy did your wife get screwed and not in the good way. She thinks she has a husband who loves her and in reality you just didn't want to be alone. You should have gotten a dog.


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## Gomezaddams51 (Jun 15, 2020)

MJJEAN said:


> Well, what did you expect when you wanted a Corvette, but kept buying sedans?
> 
> You settled in your first marriage, wasted your youth and most of middle age, and the repeated the same mistake by marrying yet another woman who is also a dud.
> 
> I'm in my mid 40's. My husband and I just celebrated 21 years. The sex is not boring even on an off day. I'd guess that's due to mutual sexual attraction, matching libidos, and kinks.


It is the kinks I am missing. I tried to get both my wives into bondage and they didn't just say no but HELL NO!!! Part of the new wife's problem is she cannot orgasm unless she does it herself. She said in the nearly 200 lovers, none of them ever gave her an orgasm. The only way she can get off is by herself, she will on occasion let me use a dildo on her while she rubs one out or uses a ball headed vibrator on herself. But 99% of the time she prefers to do it herself. She says since menopause she has lost a lot of interest in sex because it just doesn't feel the same. And she refuses to try hormone therapy. So since she has to do it by herself she really doesn't need me. She said she used to masturbate all the time but since she turned 50 she only needs to do it once or twice a month now. Otherwise we get along great, but more like two room mates than married people.


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## Gomezaddams51 (Jun 15, 2020)

Anastasia6 said:


> Boy did your wife get screwed and not in the good way. She thinks she has a husband who loves her and in reality you just didn't want to be alone. You should have gotten a dog.


Well at the time I didn't think a dog would appreciate having sex.... ROFLMAO


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

It sounds like your the common denominator amongst all that boring sex


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Well, it may not be easy, but I would try to look at sex as great priveledge. A woman is giving up her body to you.
Fat, skinny, in between. I try to consider the wonder of it all. That another person would honor you by giving their ultimate form of intimacy is a glorious gift. Far from boring. Its not a right. Its a great honor. A huge high. I Remember one time after sex with my girlfriend some years ago. On my way home I kept thinking of how great it was. Not so much great sex. (It was very good). But just the thought of a woman letting me into her body. I was so high and horny thinking about it, I had to jack off 3 times when I got home.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You should never have got married or had children even once, you are far too immature, have no sense of responsibilty, have no integrity, and have even had affairs with married women. Couldn't believe it when you said your age, you sound about 21. You seem to have spent most of your adult life thinking about yourself and how many women you can bed. What a shallow way to live.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Quite honestly, YOU sound like the dud in bed.

I'm willing to bet you have no CLUE how to please a woman because you sound like a selfish pig who's just looking to get his **** wet with anyone who'll have him.

I'm assuming you thought all your bragging about your exploits was going to impress us. LOL. Hardly.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Damn?! You need to mature a bit. You seemed focused solely on yourself. You guarantee yourself a mediocre sex life....make it about her and things will be exceptional.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Six month ago you had ed and your testosterone count was thirty nine, neither viagra nor cialis could give you an erection.
Now all of a sudden you’re wife isn’t enough and you need another woman to cope with your sexual needs. 
Yeah...............


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> Six month ago you had ed and your testosterone count was thirty nine, neither viagra nor cialis could give you an erection.
> Now all of a sudden you’re wife isn’t enough and you need another woman to cope with your sexual needs.
> Yeah...............


@Gomezaddams51 are you still having ED problems? Have you seen a specialist?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Gomezaddams51 said:


> How do you spice things up? I am tired of boring sex and miss that little 37 year old chick….


Boring is in the eye of the beholder. Boring is something you think about when you are getting enough sex not when you are sex starved.

May I suggest that you change yourself so that you attract a different set of women. As others have said you are the common denominator to all the boring sex.

Then you need to approach sex differently as a shared adventure with you new women friends. You need to let them know you are looking for a playful, sexual woman who enjoys trying different things. Then I would suggest that near the start of any intimate relationship you and your new intimate friend share a "yes/no/maybe list" so that you can have a playbook from which to try different things. That should give you options from the HELL NO to bondage, unless you really know bondage is your thing, you may make a big deal about it and find out you are not really that into it. Also figure out how to deal with your low T count and ED problems, before you find your "Hot Chick."

The key to having the non-boring sex life you want is to first improve yourself, then find someone who likes frequent sex, and for you to make sure it is playful and exploratory and for you to initiate different things you BOTH want to do.

Good luck.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Gomezaddams51 said:


> How do you spice things up?


A rather fun way to get ideas is to browse Amazon's sexual wellness store and pay very close attention to the "customers also purchased" category of items. My all time favorite idea was someone that purchased a "taco stroker" along with a set of dummy driveway spikes (the kind that look like you will get a flat tire if you drive over them, but they are harmless and made out of foam rubber). I am not exactly sure what that person had planned, but just the combination of those two things really get the creative juices going. 

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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