# Want to watch husband masturbate



## kdm913

I am very embarrassed to talk about this because it goes farther then watching my husband masturbate. Im not sure how to start talking about it so im just going to start from the beginning. Or what I think is the beginning. First of all, I, like most women, love the feeling of masturbating myself. I have developed an addiction, or habit, of when I take a bath to masturbate. Im not sure if it is because that is pretty much the only time I have to myself since I have two boys along with my husband. But if I dont masturbate in the bath, I feel my bath is unfinished. Well now I think that when my husband gets alone time, if we all leave and he is home alone or in his shower, that he is masturbating as well. If he is home alone, when I get home, I look around to see if there is any evidence of his "play time". I have tried to tell myself that it is none of my business if he did that if he isnt cheating, which he isnt, then that is his time. But back to my original title. Ever since I have been married to my husband, I have wanted so badly to watch him masturbate. So much so that when he is taking a shower sometimes i like to watch him to see if he pleasures himself. I have told him that I would love to see him but he is so against it. Well yesterday, he was taking a shower and I just had a feeling that he would be pleasuring himself because he wanted me to play with him before he got up from bed. This is actually the first time I have got to see him masturbate. I got so excited about it my heart was beating so heart I swear he could hear it and I got sweaty. He looked out and saw me watching and got upset. I told him he knows how bad I want to watch him do this. He still doesnt care. So my question is: "To get this habit of needing to masturbate myself in he bath and wanting to know when he does gone, Im just not sure what to do" I think I need to break my habit to break the needing to know when he does. And how do I get him comfortable with masturbating in front of me? Please help me understand what it is I am feeling.


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## alone_not_lonely

Do you know why he feels so uncomfortable about you watching? Do you guys talk about sex and your needs and wants much? 

Next time you guys are getting it on, whisper in his ear just what it did to you. Be dirty and tell him every lustful thought that crossed your mind. He may start to warm to the idea if he knows what it does to you when it's communicated in a way that isn't as daunting if he gets awkward during sex talks.

Does he know you masturbate in the bath? Does he watch you, either in the bath or in the bedroom? You might want to let him "catch" you in the act. Or just put on a show for him in the bedroom and ask him to join in.

Baby steps


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## kdm913

We dont get much time to talk about our sex needs or wants. Most of the time we talk about it for a second right before we have sex and it some times turns into a mini argument. Then the pleasure turns into a need to get off and not wanting each other. Not as romantic. 

When I tried to talk about catching him in the shower, he got mad at me for trying to talk about it. 

Im not very good at dirty talk but I will try it. Any suggestions on what exactly I should say?

I thought about just starting to masturbate in the bed right before we go to sleep. Just waiting to see what he says or does. He knew last night that I wanted him pretty bad but he had to work early and I respect that he needs his sleep. But Im gonna try this tonight since he doesnt work till the evening tomorrow. 

I dont know if he knows if I masturbate in the bath. I have not hid it from him. If he walked in he would see but I guess he just respects that it is my alone time and doenst come in.


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## Dollystanford

god some men don't know how lucky they are!!! I wish you luck honey x


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## SunnyT

One idea....

When you are naked in bed with him. You initiate by fondling him, (hopefully this is standard operating procedure) then use your other hand on yourself. (I know this is you masturbating both of you, but it brings it out into the open...where its not so secret and dirty.... I think.)

Hmmmm another idea...

Tie his hands to the head board, do the same as above, then eventually untie one hand and tell him to finish himself... preferable on you. 

And yet another.... when you two are all sweaty and into the foreplay, tell him you fantasize about him cumming on your face. How can he resist?

Just keep trying things ...besides begging. Begging is a turn-off. Showing is a turn on!


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## shy_guy

You know, I first came to this forum when I discovered my wife wanted to watch me masturbate. I had a real hangup with ever even admitting I masturbated. I saw questions similar to yours, so I decided to join just so I could share how my wife was successful in getting me to do that for her. That's actually why I chose my monniker.

If you're interested, my story is on this page: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/24518-do-women-like-watch-men-masturbate-18.html It's the only post on that page that I made so you can't miss it if you're interested.

Your husband's hangups may be much like mine. Mine went all the way back to school when masturbation was ridiculed, and the things like "Real men have women take care of their needs. If you don't have that, then you're a little jack-off." My hangup had nothing to do with fear of being homosexual like I hear some people say. For me, discovering how much my wife got turned on by watching it is what motivated me to get past my hangup, but as you can see if you read the story, it was still very difficult the first time I did it for her.

Now, it's not a problem. Now that she's gotten me past it, it's also not something she wants all the time. Like about 100 other items and kinks we have, it's something that just goes into the mix and gets done sometimes ... we're happy about that kind of mix, and I'm happy at the way it turns my wife on in the times when we do this.

Hopefully, you can find something helpful in my experience.


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## frustr8dhubby

*sigh*, no kidding some of us men WISH our wives wanted to watch us...


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## Catherine602

I have a different take. I think that you are invading his privacy. Spying on him in the safety of your home seems invasive to me. Where can he go to have a private moment? Why does he need to say yes to putting on a show?

Doesn't seem fair to me. He does have ownership of his penis and he can do what he wants with it. They are beautiful but you need permission from the human connected to that natural wonder to look at or touch it. 

Don't invade his privacy, you will shut him down. Your actions dont seem to me to be that of a partner, friend, confidant and safe harbor. Moreover, if he deems maturbation as a private activity, you have to accept his right to decide. 

Find something you are both comfortable with. Afterall, sex should be mutually satisfying. He is clearly not satisfied. I think you owe him an apology for invading his privacy and a promise never to do it again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kdm913

I think this was the kind of reply I was expecting. I know I evaded his privacy and dont plan on doing it again. It will be a hard thing to stop my mind from wandering the way it has these last few months. I am actually getting tired of all these things that slip into my mind but dont know how to stop them. Thank you for this. I needed to hear it.


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## cone

I love that my wife wants to watch me and i do it for her whenever she requests it ... my body is hers, I always comply...

I suggest stroking him with your hand and getting him close. Would be good if you were masterbating yourself also but dont get too out of control so you can be sure to make things go your way. While stroking him, move his hand onto yours so you are both stroking his penis together. if he is close maybe he wont resist. You can make him cum this way and maybe next time move your hand away and let him finish ... be sure and reward this somehow... You are asking him to overcome something apparently of great discomfort. make it worth it to him...


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## Browncoat

kdm913 said:


> I think this was the kind of reply I was expecting. I know I evaded his privacy and dont plan on doing it again. It will be a hard thing to stop my mind from wandering the way it has these last few months. I am actually getting tired of all these things that slip into my mind but dont know how to stop them. Thank you for this. I needed to hear it.


I think it was mentioned/referenced earlier, but many guys have hang ups about masturbation because when we were younger it was considered shameful/lame to do it. So we would hide it.

Now I don't care if my wife sees me, but to be honest I tend to start w/o her in the room in general. Only exceptions are during foreplay/sex (when she's done).


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## Lon

first time my ex saw me do this in front of her she had turned me down, I wasn't mad just horny so I did it, and she was captivated, it put her in the mood and we went on to make love after a short recovery period. Once she asked me to do it again, so I did, another time I was horny and started and she was repulsed by it... I soon learned that she would either be really turned on or else repulsed, became a big gamble, but I just wanted to get off so I stopped doing it in front of her.


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## hubbyhere

I don't think there is anything wrong at all with you wanting to watch. Just like I don't think there is anything wrong with him wanting to do that alone sometimes too. So let me ask you this: do you ever pleasure yourself in front of him? Or as someone else said, better yet would be to both of you please yourselves at the same time. I bet that doesn't last too long before one of you is on top of the other!!! Maybe if he doesn't want to do it right in front of you ask him to tape himself and let you watch it and then you do the same for him. Have some fun with it. I need you to come and talk to my wife, I would love for my wife to want to watch me!!!


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## SunnyT

*He does have ownership of his penis and he can do what he wants with it.*

Well sure.... but you can boink someone with it, but not want to touch it if they might be looking? You want your partner to lick it, but you won't touch it? Hang ups are hang ups, and there is nothing wrong with trying to figure out a way to help someone get past them...whether they realize it or not.

Same with ideas about oral, or frequency, or anything "new" and different. It's worth a shot.

I do think, if you get shot down... realize that its his hangup, its not the end of the world or the relationship...and its not about you. It's also not a failure on his part, if he doesn't come around he just doesn't..... try something else.


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## kittykat09

First and foremost, let him have the shower as his private space. I know when I masturbate I prefer to do it in private, otherwise I feel obligated to make some show of it when there is really nothing to make a show of.

Then communicate that you do find it a turn on to watch him so he can decide whether or not he is interested in complying. I find it hot watching M masturbate but he won't do it if I'm with him, so I understand. His take on it is that he prefers sex to masturbation and if I am around it is sex or nothing for him. Maybe there is an element of shame involved, but he hasn't mentioned that part to me.

We've been long-distance for the last 7 months so he sent me a few videos of him masturbating. Hawt.

I know it is kind of hypocritical to want to watch him masturbate but not want him to watch (ok, very >.>) but honestly a woman masturbating with a vibrator= apply vibrator, move it a little, orgasm, done. The orgasms don't even feel as good as "real" ones most of the time. At least guys have an external organ and lots of movement to watch. XD

It is also possible your husband felt some irritation that he expressed sexual interest in you, you declined, he was taking care of himself and *then* you decided to watch what he felt was a forced alternative from sex. Just a thought.


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## Antigen

I'd feel weird laying next to her jacking off, however I have no problem with kneeling over her and jacking off ON her. 

Try going that route.

I bet he's all over it.


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## okeydokie

my gawd my life is so boring


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## SunnyT

My H said....throw a hundred dollar bill in the middle of the bed, start fingering yourself and tell him that the first one who cums wins the $$!


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## shy_guy

SunnyT said:


> My H said....throw a hundred dollar bill in the middle of the bed, start fingering yourself and tell him that the first one who cums wins the $$!


 :lol: The only problem here is cheating. It's a little harder for men to fake an orgasm than it is for women ... but then again, I guess it comes down to what you're really trying to win, and it doesn't sound like that's $100.00


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## L.M.COYL

SunnyT said:


> One idea....
> And yet another.... when you two are all sweaty and into the foreplay, tell him you fantasize about him cumming on your face. How can he resist?
> 
> ...Showing is a turn on!


As a man, oops I shouldn't be on this board  , this would definitely get my double thumbs up! :smthumbup:


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## par4

very interesting
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs. T

okeydokie said:


> my gawd my life is so boring


 I hear ya.


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## dubbizle

Way way to many prudes on here.He is the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with and one day may be helping you use the restroom so stop the hiding part. 

Start doing yourself in front of him make all kind of noise , then grab his hand put it on his penis and he should know what to do.

I also like the tying his hand thing that somebody said earlier of taking a shower with him and using the sprayer on yourself. 

When I was dating and started having sex with a new partner they would always say how they say no need to do themselves when they could get the real thing,I would grab one of their hand put it between their legs and they would be going at it right away. I still do it with my wife.


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## kdm913

Well my evening didnt turn out so well. The conversation started out like this "Honey I'm sorry." He says for what "I said for invading your privacy yesterday." He said nothing. I asked if he heard me he says yes. I ask if he has anything to say he says no. This is where I become very confused. I asked if it bothered him that I watched. He said no and I asked why he got so upset. (he was over it before he even left the shower) He said because he felt like someone was watching him and well I was. I was still confused (still am) and it turned into an argument because I think we didnt understand how each other felt. It didnt help that it was late because we cant talk about this stuff when the kids are up. He pretty much told me he doesnt want me to watch him do it because he shouldnt have to do it at all since we are married. I tried to tell him how much it turned me on but he said he doesnt care. I even brought up the fact that he never plays with me that maybe I feel the same way he does. (I dont). I also brought up how much I HATE cum but tried having him cum in my mouth. That didnt turn out well. I almost puked on him. But I reminded him of how much it took for me to try it. I just think its fair. Any way I am rambling. I ended up falling asleep in the living room and him in the bed because he said something about having to sleep on the edge of the bed just so he doesnt touch me. That is when I got up to give him his space. I waited until he was asleep and got into bed. It took me forever to go to sleep. When I woke up he acted like nothing was wrong and "wanted some". Well I gave in. Some kind of make up sex. I think I am going to propose trying to let him cum in my mouth again in exchange for my fantasy. I just think I might wait a while before I ask.


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## Shaggy

Have you tred sitting down in front of him, wearing his favorite lingere (maybe hot librarian?) and go to ten on yourself? You share with him, perhaps her might share with you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## moxy

I don't understand why doesn't want you to watch. Maybe he's afraid you'll judge him or he thinks of it as a private thing and doesn't want to be objectified. I think it can be a great turn on for a spouse to watch the other or be watched by the other. You guys should have a frank discussion about sexuality and what each of you wants or just try to get a little naughtier with practice. You could give him a hand job during foreplay. Or, you could start with oral and ask him to finish himself on you, face or breasts or something else he might like. It might be the remoteness of the request that wierds him out, but something he might be into under other circumstances. 

However, if he has already told you that he does not consent to such a thing and you are trying to take advantage of his vulnerable moments and still do the thing (watching, in your case), you are violating him. That is not cool. People should be able to trust that their spouses won't violate their boundaries just to get their kicks. There are words for such behavior and you're testing the limits. What if he told you he really wanted anal and you said no and he tried to trick you into it every time you let you guard down. Not cool. Talk to him about what you want. If he doesn't want to give it, respect his wishes. Instead, go fantasize for a while and imagine watching him while you have regular sex. But, the same goes for women as goes for men -- no, means no.


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## dubbizle

Is your husband this selfish in other ways in the bedroom,because it sound like as long as he get what he wants it no problem [swallowing] but he can't rub one out for you,it just sounds crazy,you should be the person he feels most comfortable doing it around.
If he was single and a woman he was after said she wanted to see him do before he got sex he would do it no problem.

Before you have another go give him a drink.maybe that will loosen him up.


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## kdm913

I never thought about getting a little tipsy before sex. We would have a great time. Then I think he would be more relaxed and enjoy it himself. Thanks for the idea. Now the trick is to get him to drink enough. It takes a bit for him to feel anything. Maybe see how many it takes before he really starts to feel something. Or try to get more tipsy then he ever has been. We dont drink a lot if anyone is wondering and we just started drinking the last year or so. I just hope it doenst turn out like a boyfriend in high school. He couldnt even get hard. That would suck....:scratchhead:


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## cone

kdm913 said:


> Well my evening didnt turn out so well. The conversation started out like this "Honey I'm sorry." He says for what "I said for invading your privacy yesterday." He said nothing. I asked if he heard me he says yes. I ask if he has anything to say he says no. This is where I become very confused. I asked if it bothered him that I watched. He said no and I asked why he got so upset. (he was over it before he even left the shower) He said because he felt like someone was watching him and well I was. I was still confused (still am) and it turned into an argument because I think we didnt understand how each other felt. It didnt help that it was late because we cant talk about this stuff when the kids are up. He pretty much told me he doesnt want me to watch him do it because he shouldnt have to do it at all since we are married. I tried to tell him how much it turned me on but he said he doesnt care. I even brought up the fact that he never plays with me that maybe I feel the same way he does. (I dont). I also brought up how much I HATE cum but tried having him cum in my mouth. That didnt turn out well. I almost puked on him. But I reminded him of how much it took for me to try it. I just think its fair. Any way I am rambling. I ended up falling asleep in the living room and him in the bed because he said something about having to sleep on the edge of the bed just so he doesnt touch me. That is when I got up to give him his space. I waited until he was asleep and got into bed. It took me forever to go to sleep. When I woke up he acted like nothing was wrong and "wanted some". Well I gave in. Some kind of make up sex. I think I am going to propose trying to let him cum in my mouth again in exchange for my fantasy. I just think I might wait a while before I ask.


So he doesnt want you to watch because he thinks he should NEVER have to masterbate, but if he does, its because you havent put out enough so you don't deserve to watch?
I dont agree with this thinking, it seems a bit selfish and immature. He needs to incorporate masterbation into the whole sex life picture. I do, if my wife let me masterbate next to her I consider that I "got some" ... she doesnt feel like doing it every second of every day... hormones, etc... 

I would address his resentment about cuming in your mouth though. You dont have to if you cannot handle it but that is VERY important to alot of men. it is an "acceptance" thing. I would at least let him know that you know how important it is to him even if you cannot bring yourself to do it. But you could get him to masterbate in front of you if you offer to take it in your mouth when he finishes. Ask some of the women on here how they manage to do this anyway if it is un-pleasant to them.


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## alone_not_lonely

kdm913 said:


> I never thought about getting a little tipsy before sex. We would have a great time. Then I think he would be more relaxed and enjoy it himself. Thanks for the idea. Now the trick is to get him to drink enough. It takes a bit for him to feel anything.


Well don't get the beer funnel and handcuffs out or he'll know something's amiss lol.

All kidding aside... if you aren't big drinkers, why not share some wine (a bottle or two) between you during and after a nice dinner- ideally while the kids are being babysat. By all means, have a drink to enjoy the drink and unwind and be a little tipsy and frisky but don't set out to purposely get him drunk or you very well could end up with a repeat situation.

Slip into something 'more comfortable' (read: whatever makes you feel super sexy) as the saying goes. If you are confident, you could always do a little bit of teasing. Tie him to a chair. Pleasure yourself in front of him then release one of his hands and ask him to touch himself while you give him a show. Maybe you minx-ing it up in front of him will do it for him.

Wow, in giving this suggestion in the above paragraph, I seriously hope I didn't cross any TAM boundaries  Mods, if I have, let me know and I'll clean it up


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## jaharthur

cone said:


> But you could get him to masterbate in front of you if you offer to take it in your mouth when he finishes.


Bingo. If that doesn't do it, I don't know what would.


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## tjohnson

He probably reacted to your bringing the subject up because he was ashamed . Whether other people on this forum believe it, think it is stupid whaterver, it doesn’t matter…he feels that way. The same way people should respect your cum issue. Who knows, perhaps his mom, or sister caught him or he just believes it is not something for a grown man to do. I agree with Catherine, you should have respected his privacy. It would be one thing if he were spanking it in your living room in the comfort of a chair or sofa and could be caught….

Personally, I think mutual masturbation is super hot. Wish my wife were not so insecure about her toy use which she seems to be intermitantly shy about admitting. Having said that I still get embarrassed if my wife walks in on me (and I don’t close the door…). I also know guys who would not be cool with their wife using a toy. Most men feel they don’t get it enough so they don’t want to give their wives a tool to please themselves. Human nature is driven by fears and desires. He man not want to open the pandora’s box of masturbation because he wants more sex not less. Make him realize you want the same thing. He may already think that your solo tub time may be a substitute for sex between the two of you. Maybe invite him in the shower and soap each other up and show him how you diddle yourself. You could also try role playing. You play the horny housewife laying on the bed waiting for him to come home…get yourself warmed up…so many possibilities. 

“He pretty much told me he doesn’t want me to watch him do it because he shouldnt have to do it at all since we are married. I tried to tell him how much it turned me on but he said he doesnt care”.

He wants to have sex with you and not jerk off. So it is all in the presentation. Don’t tell him you want to watch him masturbate as he clearly he doesn’t want this. Why not incorporate him “touching himself” somewhere in your lovemaking process or you could take the lead. 

I would NOT!! agree to having him put on a show for you in return for cuming in your mouth. Normally I tend to think that most women it is mind of matter and you should “suck it up” excuse the pun but, your almost vomiting seems extreme. Suppose you can’t get past it. Do you want him masturbating for you to be a bribe to get you to do something you potentially will never get to be ok with? I would be more subtle. I would simply go down on him slowly as to not make him climax. Then I would tell him your mouth is tired but you want to “finish him”. Then while you are licking him in a place he likes, tell him THEN ask him if he can “give you a hand” and stroke himself. This will make it not really masturbating in his mind. 

have fun, let us know how it turns out this way people find out what works.


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## DvlsAdvc8

Just a tip on the drinking to losen him up. When you go out, say you're going to the bathroom and stop the server/bartender and tell them to make his drink stronger and yours weaker.

Drink yours faster than he is drinking his and jokingly poke at him for not keeping up. Drinking a few strong Long Islands (for example) in a short amount of time will loosen anyone up. Might want to get a cab. 

When you get home, start giving him a bj but demand that he remains standing. When you think he's not too far from finishing, take his hand and have him stroke while you sit in front of him with your mouth open asking him to cvm in your mouth. Keep him motivated by telling him how much you want it. You can occassionally help out by jumping in with your mouth to lube him up.

When he cvms, in all probability a lot of it will miss your mouth and if he gets a good shot you can just drool it out, close your mouth so the rest lands on your lips.

Reduced inhibitions, no masturbating stigma, and minimal vomit concerns. Win win win.


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## ChelseaBlue

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Just a tip on the drinking to losen him up. When you go out, say you're going to the bathroom and stop the server/bartender and tell them to make his drink stronger and yours weaker.
> 
> Drink yours faster than he is drinking his and jokingly poke at him for not keeping up....


This feels too much like suggesting the OP drug her husband to fulfill her sexual desires.


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## kag123

ChelseaBlue said:


> This feels too much like suggesting the OP drug her husband to fulfill her sexual desires.


No sh!t, maybe slip him a rufie while you are at it?! 

LOL!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ChelseaBlue

So, to get him over his "hangup" you can tie him up and tease him, ply him with alcohol, trade swallowing(which may include vomiting) for a show, dress up in lingerie and play with yourself in front of him, or have a speed masturbating contest with $100 to the winner.

Or you could let him have his private time, alone. He knows what you want. If he changes his thinking in the future maybe you will get what you want.

And maybe you won't.


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## be-man

For some reason my wife loves to watch but doesn't like to touch it. Sometimes I get to watch her but not often. I think she could watch me everyday. We have talked about it but she can't really explain it...so she says...


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## RandomDude

Whenever the missus catches me playing with myself she slaps my hand away and hops on =/

It is kinda awkward to have her just watching though, if anything we play with each other instead mutually


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## DvlsAdvc8

ChelseaBlue said:


> This feels too much like suggesting the OP drug her husband to fulfill her sexual desires.


Nah, he's willingly drinking to loosen up anyway. I'm just suggesting how to speed up the process. ;P


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## fetishwife

My wife could not care one way or the other if I masturbated and Im not afraid to do it in front of her.

Last night though she kinda pissed me off when I wanted to do this and all i was asking from her was to give me a little show off of her body in the shower...which she was taking anyway!

I was not asking for her to blow me or do anything to me or let me do anything to her.

She was still not in the mood even to be watched...but she allowed it anyway with a frown.

UGH! What I woud do to get one of you wives who actually had at least a mid level libido!

The concept that my wife would actually WANT to see me do this...let alone try to peek or ask...well that is WAY OUT THERE in my life.

I think my wife masturbates once a month at most. She has what I would call maintenance sex with me 1-3 times per week though......which I consider a LOT better than nothing that is for sure....maybe she gets something out of it once in a while....

The only time she recently actually was really enjoying having sex with me was after she watched these movies with a certain male movie star...and when I realized that I got really turned off and since then back to the pretty boring maintenance sex.

But as they say...something is a lot better than nothing..and I read a lot of people here get nothing....so not to complain...

But still...after reading this thread I thought that this wife must not even be real....sounds like a made up story in a sex forum or something...

Woman if you are real...oops you got the wrong guy...we could be having a lot of fun.

Of well. Good luck.


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## Bluerok

I would LOVE to have my wife watch me masturbate. The scenario where you watched him in the shower would be a great first time watching. I wouldn't have stopped. Unfortunately, my wife has absolutely zero interest in watching me do that. She doesn't care that I masturbate, she just doesn't ever want to watch it.


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## Pault

I suppose its all about both parties and comfort zones.

Males are, as previously stated teased, ridiculed and in some cases abused by others because of this natural function. School children will implant the idea, often transfered from parents that masterbation is dirty, makes you go blind etc. The will then focus on one male and taunt, teased and in effect bully calling them all sorts o names. In fact many of those that start this are often the ones who do it the most. Girls can and do join in the taunting. 
We all see evidence of this later in life when we call people any name that means masterbation. Often its the referee in Rugby matchs in my case.
The issue then sticks with guys that anyone finding out makes it wrong, dirty and something to be ashamed of.

In a positive marridge partners that can do it in front of eachother even for the first time are in a way teaching the other what their likes and dislikes are. 
Men will admit to see a woman who is really masterbating is not just a massive turn on but can give then the information they need to help fulfil that partners sexual needs to a degree. It should be the same vise versa

If your H is struggling with you watching its because hes really very embarressed. To "catch him" for him is even worse, it goes back to being a small boy caught being very dirty. 

As one suggests try doing it yourself and him at the same time. Encourage him to hold your hand to guide you in the best feeling for him. That can and will help both of you. Him to acept and you as to what he would like from you. Keep it in that manenr until you can take your hand away and hes more comfortable.


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## soulseer

great post. I really enjoy mutual masturbation where I masturbate her while she does me. I am actually getting a semi just typing this lol.

I would love to have the relationship where we could masturbate for each other. About a month ago when we were mutually masturbating she was on top of me while masturbating me and rubbing me into her. She climaxed before me and was kind of struggling to get me to climax so I took over and orgasmed onto her.

It was the first time I had either masturbated myself in her presence or climaxed on her. It was all very hot.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## over20

I used a different angle. My husband was invited to go out to the strip club with a bunch of his work friends. He declined the invitation. I was so proud of him that I decided I would give him his own private show that weekend. 

I got a costume, some singles, did up my hair and makeup and called him in the bedroom. I had a chair for him to sit on and I stood on the bed. I gave him the singles and I started to strip. In the heat of the moment I asked him to take his penis out. He naturally started to masturbate ( I don't think he had time to realize what he was doing) I loved it. 

Would your husband go for that? It takes the focus off of him and onto you, especially is you keep dancing and not staring at him the whole time?? He is thinking you are the star and your thinking HE is the star! Does this make sense??:scratchhead:


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## LoveLonely

Catherine602 said:


> He does have ownership of his penis and he can do what he wants with it. [/i][/size]


And there is the problem. It is no longer his penis. It is yours. You need to teach him that.


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## over20

LoveLonely said:


> And there is the problem. It is no longer his penis. It is yours. You need to teach him that.


Wow, with that reasoning, it goes both ways. Our men own our vagina's and we need to surrender...I like the way you think


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## alexm

Wow, old thread seeing new light!

Interesting topic, though.

When my wife and I first got together, as I recall, one night while we were doing some foreplay, I started to stoke myself. She remarked at how hot that was, and that it really turned her on.

I asked her the next day if that was something she was in to, and she said it was the first time she'd ever seen a guy do that in front of her.

So back then, once in a while, I'd give her a show, and she'd get off by watching me. If I was already in bed before she was, or she was in the shower, I'd start on my own, and wait til she got in bed. Sometimes she'd finish me, sometimes she'd join in. It was fun.

I guess it got boring over time, because, although we still masturbate in front of each other (in lieu of sex when we're both tired, so maybe once a month) she doesn't really watch me anymore. Instead, her eyes are closed, and she's focusing on herself, while I'm getting off watching her. It's all good, we both still have fun, but it isn't as exciting (for either of us) as it once was. I guess like anything, it loses it's excitement when you've seen it one too many times!


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## MrK

I didn't notice it was old. But yes, relevant.

If my wife were to want to watch me masterbate....

...It would signify one of the best things to happen to my marriage in years (decades?). On a few levels.


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## sh987

This isn't something which is part of our sex life. I dunno... I guess it would be a bit odd to me. She's certainly never expressed a desire to see me masturbate...

Recently, though, we'd had the 15 year anniversary of our first date. Took her out to dinner and later that night after settling into bed, we talked about that first night. That night, years ago, we had made out pretty heavily before I dropped her off. Was really nice.

I told her how, when I got home and got into bed that night, I couldn't get our date, and especially the making out, from my mind. Kept thinking about her, and admitted that I got so excited that I'd masturbated, thinking about her.

She didn't ask to watch me, but WHOAH! Did she get excited. I had a wildcat on my hands.


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## ntamph

I actually don't like jerking off while in a relationship. It reminds me of being single and frustrated.


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## mrsmanhatten

It seems he resents masturbation as something he shouldn't have to do ever because he is married. So you have to reintroduce masturbation as a positive thing. I would suggest during foreplay while fondling eachother stroke him. Take a bit more control and stroke, then grab his hand put your hand over his and stroke more. Then take the same hand and place on your breast, butt, privates whatever. Then repeat...or maybe only do a little then go into action. Get him comfortable touching himself in front of you. Make more moans when he touches himself then immediately after put him inside of you. Or perhaps, get on top do as said above switching from inside of you to stroking etc. sorry if I got too graphic... If I were a man I wouldn't resist. I don't think it's weird I also think it is the hottest thing a man can do  I hope it works!!!


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## AliceA

ntamph said:


> I actually don't like jerking off while in a relationship. It reminds me of being single and frustrated.


Well that's the first time I've ever seen a male like my DH who doesn't masturbate in a relationship. My DH says he shouldn't have to masturbate, that's my job, lol.


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## samyeagar

sh987 said:


> This isn't something which is part of our sex life. I dunno... I guess it would be a bit odd to me. She's certainly never expressed a desire to see me masturbate...
> 
> Recently, though, we'd had the 15 year anniversary of our first date. Took her out to dinner and later that night after settling into bed, we talked about that first night. That night, years ago, we had made out pretty heavily before I dropped her off. Was really nice.
> 
> I told her how, when I got home and got into bed that night, I couldn't get our date, and especially the making out, from my mind. Kept thinking about her, and admitted that I got so excited that I'd masturbated, thinking about her.
> 
> She didn't ask to watch me, but WHOAH! Did she get excited. I had a wildcat on my hands.


Sounds familiar  The first date with my STBW was spectacular, and it endd with a good hot make out session. Much later, I let her know that by the time I got home I couldn't help myself, and when she heard that, WOW! Yeah, she liked hearing that, and yeah, she told me she did the same the minute I walked out the door that night


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## samyeagar

breeze said:


> Well that's the first time I've ever seen a male like my DH who doesn't masturbate in a relationship. My DH says he shouldn't have to masturbate, that's my job, lol.


The last time I did it by myself was the night of my STBW and I's first date. She's taken great care of me


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## omgitselaine

I've always found it very , very sexy to watch a man pleasure himself thus have been a spectator to my share of past boyfriends and hubby doing this to themselves 

Then again they've also had the pleasure of watching umm little ole moi do the same ........... its only fair no  !!


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## kimd

I agree. The sight of him feeling himself as I put on a show for him is very erotic. I will do a lap dance for him and tell him he can watch but not touch me. He cannot resist touching himself. 
Playing like this keeps our sex exciting.


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## I Notice The Details

kimd said:


> I agree. The sight of him feeling himself as I put on a show for him is very erotic. I will do a lap dance for him and tell him he can watch but not touch me. He cannot resist touching himself.
> Playing like this keeps our sex exciting.


I like the way you think Kimd!


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## I Notice The Details

There has been over 46,000 people read this thread....SO....there must be a lot of women out there who secretly want to see their man masturbate. Am I right ladies?

This is the year to get it done. Just do it. We men have lots of years of practice anyway! :rofl: 

My wife loves to watch too!!! 

Just do it! :smthumbup:


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## Vorlon

What an interesting thread....

My wife doesn't express what she wants very well. Because of how she was raised she often doesn't feel worthy.

But number one in my book is if she say's "that turns me on"....then by god I'm doing it. If she expresses any interest or fantasy then I am all there. 

The rest of the time I'm doing it by trial in error. She is open to me doing or asking to try things so we are doing well. Its normally a learning process that a couple should try to make the most of and enjoy together.


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## I Notice The Details

Vorlon said:


> What an interesting thread....
> 
> My wife doesn't express what she wants very well. Because of how she was raised she often doesn't feel worthy.
> 
> But number one in my book is if she say's "that turns me on"....then by god I'm doing it. If she expresses any interest or fantasy then I am all there.
> 
> The rest of the time I'm doing it by trial in error. She is open to me doing or asking to try things so we are doing well. Its normally a learning process that a couple should try to make the most of and enjoy together.


You should ask her if she would ever want to watch you do the deed....see what she says. Might add some variety. My wife was too shy to ask but when I gave her to opportunity to watch, she loved it.


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## Vorlon

I may have to try that again. 

I did ask her once after she commented that "she has never seen me do the deed". But she then said no...so she can send mixed signals. 

Women...so confusing. )


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## wanderingwheat

Kind of a dumb/embarrassing question here. 

I also want to watch my husband masturbate! 

Getting him to do it doesn't seem to be the biggest hurdle. My main concern is what I should do while he does it? lol!

It sounds kind of funny, but I am just imagining myself sitting there staring (and enjoying the view of course!) I really love the idea of watching him but feel a little anxious about how I act. My husband tends to be easily hurt and is sensitive about things so I wouldn't want to do something that would make him not enjoy the experience.


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## samyeagar

wanderingwheat said:


> Kind of a dumb/embarrassing question here.
> 
> I also want to watch my husband masturbate!
> 
> Getting him to do it doesn't seem to be the biggest hurdle. My main concern is what I should do while he does it? lol!
> 
> It sounds kind of funny, but I am just imagining myself sitting there staring (and enjoying the view of course!) I really love the idea of watching him but feel a little anxious about how I act. My husband tends to be easily hurt and is sensitive about things so I wouldn't want to do something that would make him not enjoy the experience.


Oh how timely  My STBW watched me for the first time the other day, in fact it was the first time any woman has ever watched me to completion. Holy crap did it turn her on...

I would suggest that you put on a show for him. Sort of like a live action solo porn scene for him to masturbate to. Doesn't have to be anything raunchy or over the top. Just keep your eyes on him while your hands wander over your body, a little noise, movement. SHOW him you are enjoying what he is doing.


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## Fordsvt

I love watching her do it so why not the other way. Very erotic if you ask me


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## TeR

wanderingwheat said:


> Kind of a dumb/embarrassing question here.
> 
> I also want to watch my husband masturbate!
> 
> Getting him to do it doesn't seem to be the biggest hurdle. My main concern is what I should do while he does it? lol!
> 
> It sounds kind of funny, but I am just imagining myself sitting there staring (and enjoying the view of course!) I really love the idea of watching him but feel a little anxious about how I act. My husband tends to be easily hurt and is sensitive about things so I wouldn't want to do something that would make him not enjoy the experience.


I would TOTALLY kiss, lick and/or suck it while he was working it. I bet he'd love to finish on your breasts (if you let him)...you'd be perfectly aligned


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## FormerSelf

haha...my wife totally has the same fantasy.

Once I tried to surprised her with a show, but that didn't do it for her...she literally wants to sneak and catch me servicing myself. It's funny, 'cos if I tried to sneak up on her in that way (which I admit would be hot to see) she'd probably flip out.


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## I Notice The Details

FormerSelf said:


> haha...my wife totally has the same fantasy.
> 
> Once I tried to surprised her with a show, but that didn't do it for her...she literally wants to sneak and catch me servicing myself. It's funny, 'cos if I tried to sneak up on her in that way (which I admit would be hot to see) she'd probably flip out.



My wife loves to peek in, but doesn't want to disturb my stallion polishing...she looks thru the slightly open bedroom door. I can't see her, but she can see me. She must be a voyeur...it is OK with me because it is hot and adds variety to our sex life!!!

PS: when I do "it"....I am looking at erotic pictures of HER body to get super turned on. She appreciates that....and makes sure the digital pictures we take on occasion are very sexy! 

Maybe she has a masturbation fetish...is there such a thing?


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## Fordsvt

Healthy Masturbation is very good for your mind and soul. Sharing it with someone you love is very erotic. My wife has been doing much of this with me of late...very hot and sexy


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## yeah_right

Masturbation is healthy and fun. H and I both do it. Sometimes together. We both like to watch. Why not, it's the person we love having fun. What's bad about that? Recently I asked him to do it while I was sleeping and to wake me up with his "finale". We had a giggle about how that worked out.

Again, it's something fun to share with your life partner. I see nothing wrong with it.


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## thumper99

Speaking as a man, it's hard to imagine anything quite as stimulating as watching your partner choose to pleasure herself, knowing you are watching. With that said, first time you decide to pull back the sheets and pull down your jammies, it's an act of faith, that he will understand what is driving you, and want to be a part of that. Seems to me, there is nothing better than watching a woman love herself with that middle finger, dipping on down to get a little moisture and bringing on that glow....(not to mention her urge to reach up and play with her nipples at the same time.)


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## love=pain

TeR said:


> I would TOTALLY kiss, lick and/or suck it while he was working it. I bet he'd love to finish on your breasts (if you let him)...you'd be perfectly aligned


That's my wife's favorite thing to do if I am churning butter for her although she has trouble keeping her hands off herself during that time to so it is always fun for both of us.
I don't know if I could do it without her participating somehow maybe watching porn while she watches me might work maybe haven't tried it that way yet.


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## Chumpless

Am I on the wrong forum? I thought this was a "marriage" site.
I can only dream of watching my wife flick the bean. Oh well, back to my boring miserable life...lol


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## Dannie1348

My wife likes to watch me masturbate also. There are times we do it together found out its a good way of learning what your partners really likes and places they like played with that you may not no about .


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## jaharthur

*Re: Re: Want to watch husband masturbate*



Chumpless said:


> Am I on the wrong forum? I thought this was a "marriage" site.
> I can only dream of watching my wife flick the bean. Oh well, back to my boring miserable life...lol


Since when does a good marriage exclude watching your spouse masturbate?


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## I Notice The Details

Mrs. John Adams said:


> i love love love watching my husband ...it is an amazing turn on for me


That is good to hear. My wife is the same way. 

Do you ask him to do it for you, or do you just happen to catch him red handed?


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## Chumpless

jaharthur said:


> Since when does a good marriage exclude watching your spouse masturbate?


It doesn't. This was my way of saying how surprised and very much wish this was included in mine.


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## 312cpl

my wife loves to watch me. 
we like to talk during sex.
this really stirs up a lot of dirty talk.

sometimes when she is giving me a BJ.
She will pause and have me stroke slowly while she watches and talks.
this goes back and forth for a while.....then she lets me cum.


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## NewHubs

312cpl said:


> sometimes when she is giving me a BJ.
> She will pause and have me stroke slowly while she watches and talks.
> this goes back and forth for a while.....then she lets me cum.


WOW...I can only dream of my wife doing that!


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## Tasty

There could be many reasons he is uncomfortable you watching him. Many men grow up feeling ashamed of masturbation because it's seen as dirty and character failure.

Could it be that you deny him sex to push him into masturbation?

To get allow you watch so that you both gain:

Talk it over
Start with yourself. Ask him to watch you masturbate
When he is comfortable watching you (after a few sessions), he will reciprocate

But do not let masturbation take over your sex life.


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## DonD

I would love for my wife to ask me to masturbate for her on a regular basis. I would make me very hot. The only time we watch each other masturbate is at the end of an erotic love making session. I think that if we masturbated in front of each other more it might raise her libido. I will continue to try to move her in that direction gently.:iagree:


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## I Notice The Details

I just wanted to give this thread a bump. May is Masturbation Month!

My wife loves to watch me take my time and polish the stallion in front of her. As soon as I get over this sore throat, I think I will do my part to celebrate May is Masturbation Month.


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## FizzBomb

I Notice The Details said:


> I just wanted to give this thread a bump. May is Masturbation Month!
> 
> My wife loves to watch me take my time and polish the stallion in front of her. As soon as I get over this sore throat, I think I will do my part to celebrate May is Masturbation Month.


Everytime you refer to your penis as 'the stallion', I have to giggle. I guess 'Polish the Penis' doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it?


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## I Notice The Details

FizzBomb said:


> Everytime you refer to your penis as 'the stallion', I have to giggle. I guess 'Polish the Penis' doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it?


My wife named it "the stallion" by the way.


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## omgitselaine

With Joe being away yet again on business this week ....... he and I have gotten accustomed to our " weekly shows " via skype hmmmmm !!!

We've been doing this at least once a week when he's away and it seems to get hotter and hotter with each passing week


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## I Notice The Details

omgitselaine said:


> With Joe being away yet again on business this week ....... he and I have gotten accustomed to our " weekly shows " via skype hmmmmm !!!
> 
> We've been doing this at least once a week when he's away and it seems to get hotter and hotter with each passing week


Wow, Joe is a very lucky man! Which face shows how jealous I am????


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## Happyfamily

We do it together. He usually has amateur porn up on the computer and sits in his chair while I lay back in bed watching. When he climaxes that really sends me into orbit. 

This is one of the reasons I think the anti-porn crowd is so closed-minded. Sure, if you don't like it then don't watch. But stop framing us as wicked or broken people because we enjoy having sex together this way. He watches her, I watch him, and maybe someone else is watching me through the window. lol.


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## SimplyAmorous

My H would not do this in front of me.. he would be uncomfortable.. frankly I think I would be too.. we'd both rather do that to each other... I would think just watching this would make you want to jump on, like you couldn't take it any more! ...

I think I'd be upset if he finished himself off in front of me......like "damn I wanted THAT ...now I gotta WAIT !!!" 

And just where do they advertise Masturbation month, I wonder !


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## I Notice The Details

Ladies....just tell your man that May is National Masturbation Month and he needs to get "busy"...hand him a bottle of Astroglide with a smile on your face...


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## MacMillion

kdm913 said:


> I am very embarrassed to talk about this because it goes farther then watching my husband masturbate. Im not sure how to start talking about it so im just going to start from the beginning. Or what I think is the beginning. First of all, I, like most women, love the feeling of masturbating myself. I have developed an addiction, or habit, of when I take a bath to masturbate. Im not sure if it is because that is pretty much the only time I have to myself since I have two boys along with my husband. But if I dont masturbate in the bath, I feel my bath is unfinished. Well now I think that when my husband gets alone time, if we all leave and he is home alone or in his shower, that he is masturbating as well. If he is home alone, when I get home, I look around to see if there is any evidence of his "play time". I have tried to tell myself that it is none of my business if he did that if he isnt cheating, which he isnt, then that is his time. But back to my original title. Ever since I have been married to my husband, I have wanted so badly to watch him masturbate. So much so that when he is taking a shower sometimes i like to watch him to see if he pleasures himself. I have told him that I would love to see him but he is so against it. Well yesterday, he was taking a shower and I just had a feeling that he would be pleasuring himself because he wanted me to play with him before he got up from bed. This is actually the first time I have got to see him masturbate. I got so excited about it my heart was beating so heart I swear he could hear it and I got sweaty. He looked out and saw me watching and got upset. I told him he knows how bad I want to watch him do this. He still doesnt care. So my question is: "To get this habit of needing to masturbate myself in he bath and wanting to know when he does gone, Im just not sure what to do" I think I need to break my habit to break the needing to know when he does. And how do I get him comfortable with masturbating in front of me? Please help me understand what it is I am feeling.


I totally get this! Don't be embarrassed. 

For a long time I've desire to watch my DW. I finally figured out why. Its emotional. She is very cold about sex and rarely opens up and shares herself and her feelings. She doesn't open up to me about sex and her sexuality. 

So, knowing she is being sexual in private drives me nuts and enhances the feeling that I'm shut out from this area of her life. Why can't I be apart of her own sexuality? Knowing that she MB without me is a slap in the face and most often feels like rejection. I deeply want her to share this aspect of her life with me. 

Hope this helps. I think it is normal.


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## RAYMOND

We play a game in our marriage. Although I do not believe in solo masturbation I will do it if she is around and leave the door slightly ajar. The whole point is for her to look. I find that very hot. I do it in front of her as part of foreplay. Wives don't worry about what you do. If he is like me they will find it very hot if you just watch.


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## RAYMOND

Tasty said:


> There could be many reasons he is uncomfortable you watching him. Many men grow up feeling ashamed of masturbation because it's seen as dirty and character failure.
> 
> Could it be that you deny him sex to push him into masturbation?
> 
> To get allow you watch so that you both gain:
> 
> Talk it over
> Start with yourself. Ask him to watch you masturbate
> When he is comfortable watching you (after a few sessions), he will reciprocate
> 
> But do not let masturbation take over your sex life.





The whole point is for the spouse to watch as a start of foreplay. You are right solo mb is not healthy. One could be thinking of others. It has to be your spouse watching. I think it can build confidence. Once you have done that and been seen there's no prudery left between you.


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## pickil65

Catherine602 said:


> I have a different take. I think that you are invading his privacy. Spying on him in the safety of your home seems invasive to me. Where can he go to have a private moment? Why does he need to say yes to putting on a show?
> 
> Doesn't seem fair to me. He does have ownership of his penis and he can do what he wants with it. They are beautiful but you need permission from the human connected to that natural wonder to look at or touch it.
> 
> Don't invade his privacy, you will shut him down. Your actions dont seem to me to be that of a partner, friend, confidant and safe harbor. Moreover, if he deems maturbation as a private activity, you have to accept his right to decide.
> 
> Find something you are both comfortable with. Afterall, sex should be mutually satisfying. He is clearly not satisfied. I think you owe him an apology for invading his privacy and a promise never to do it again.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I disagree, as my husband says, my boobs are his and his **** is mine, we agreed to give ourselves fully to the other person and so there should be no privacy between husband and wife. I mean of course you have alone time, but getting mad because you peaked in the shower, uh no..


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## Cletus

RAYMOND said:


> You are right solo mb is not healthy.


And here I thought we'd left the Victorian era in the past.


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## Cletus

pickil65 said:


> I disagree, as my husband says, my boobs are his and his **** is mine, we agreed to give ourselves fully to the other person and so there should be no privacy between husband and wife. I mean of course you have alone time, but getting mad because you peaked in the shower, uh no..


Not everyone comes to the same agreement. 

My wife cannot stand being touched in certain places. While I may have exclusive access, I do not have carte blanche to do with it what I will. She retains veto authority over he own body.


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## sixbravebulls

He needs to lighten up. My wife and I went through that. It wasn't until I found out she was having an EA with an ex that I felt comfortable doing it. I still can't put my finger on why. I guess in my mind I figured if she was going to act like a ***** when I'm not home I may as well make her act like one when I AM home! (Smirk on my face with half smile)


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## Catherine602

pickil65 said:


> I disagree, as my husband says, my boobs are his and his **** is mine, we agreed to give ourselves fully to the other person and so there should be no privacy between husband and wife. I mean of course you have alone time, but getting mad because you peaked in the shower, uh no..


When do you pick your nose, dig for lint and dead skin cells in your navel, contort yourself to cut your toe nails, have a relaxing bath in a tub that fits only one?

Seriously, giving each other space makes it possible to spend time together. We didn't merge and trade bodies when we married. They are complex biologic machine that are better left to the spirit inside to care for. If you smoke, who suffer the consequences, the smoker or the owner. 

There is a difference between privacy and secrecy.Privacy: I go out for a walk or drive when I need a break. I tell him where I'm going and when i'll be back. Secrecy: I go out and tell I'm going for a walk but i go to a bar instead.


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