# Wife cheated and we are going through divorce. Should I try to get the other man fire



## movieman (Jun 26, 2013)

Hello everyone,

I'd like to get some help with an issue I am having. My wife was has been cheating on me for the past 15 months. I found out 4 months ago and I tried to win back her heart. Unfortunately, she was too deep in love and we couldn't make it work. We decided that it's best to get a divorce so she can be happy and free. 

It makes me upset to know what the man she was cheating with is a USPS driver. I do know that he used to have sex with her during work hours while I was at work. I have been told in the past by neighbors that his truck has been parked in front of our house for sometimes up to 20 minutes. I have also been told that he would sometimes park near the mailboxes and then walk to our home (which takes less than 2 minute).

Since we are separated, I have been trying to get closure through all of this. I have been asking her all of the details because I don't want to fall for this again. Although it hurts, I know it will make me stronger. She told me this past weekend that sometimes, she would ride along in the back of his truck. She said that she like the rush of almost getting caught and that she would sometimes give him quickies in the back of his truck between stops. She also said that she gave him oral sex up in front at least 3 times. I don't know how that's possible since I'm sure he only has one door up front.

The reason why I'm here is that I would like to know if I should keep moving on or should I try to get this guy fired. My wife is so much in love that she can't see him sleeping with anyone else. I told her for all she knew, he could have other women on his route that he is sleeping with. I can't expect my wife to be in on this since she loves him. It's been months since the neighbors say his truck was at the house but I may be able to get one of them to tell the story to his job. Even then, it would just be my word against his. I would just be some heartbroken delusional husband and he would just be someone who is supposedly doing his "job". Should I go through with it or let it go?


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Absolutely report him. Post him on cheaterville.com


----------



## movieman (Jun 26, 2013)

Shaggy said:


> Absolutely report him. Post him on cheaterville.com


Is it possible for him to lose his job or would I need a lot more evidence other than just heresay?



Headspin said:


> :sleeping:
> 
> mmm ..... perfection missconfidential movieman romulus and remus
> 
> ...


?


----------



## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Tell them your neighbors told you what was going on. Tell them what your wife said. When they check him out they will find evidence. Put him on cheaterville.com but nothing but the facts you know and believe.

Do not let him get away after destroying your marriage.

How do you know he isn't married, if your wife is the source , its usually a lie.

Find out who his family is and tell them too.


----------



## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

Nomoregames has a wife who was cheating with a UPS driver. Wonder if this is the same OM?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Get him fired.

He destroyed your life. Destroy his.

It's not an "eye for an eye", it might make sure he doesn't do it to some other family.

Edit: Actually, some of it will be revenge. But there's nothing wrong with that. It feels good.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

LostViking said:


> Nomoregames has a wife who was cheating with a UPS driver. Wonder if this is the same OM?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


UPS- United Parcel Service, brown uniforms
USPS- United States Postal Service, grey and blue uniforms


----------



## workindad (May 7, 2011)

I'm not sure you have enough proof but you can at the very least cause him some grief at work. He didn't seem to mind causing you grief. You owe him nothing. If he works for USPS contact his post master and the USPS offic of inspector general.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

movieman said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> I'd like to get some help with an issue I am having. My wife was has been cheating on me for the past 15 months. I found out 4 months ago and I tried to win back her heart. Unfortunately, she was too deep in love and we couldn't make it work. We decided that it's best to get a divorce so she can be happy and free.
> 
> ...


I used to work at UPS and drivers are timed and paid, in part, due to their drive times. If he was having sex with your wife while on the job it should be reported (better have proof) as it is also a safety concern.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

thatbpguy said:


> I used to work at UPS and drivers are timed and paid, in part, due to their drive times.


again

OM in this thread was a mailman and not a UPS driver

UPS runs their company far more efficiently

regardless, it is worth bringing the matter to his superiors attention


----------



## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> again
> 
> OM in this thread was a mailman and not a UPS driver
> 
> ...


True but op said in the back of his truck. I don't know of USPS using trucks in my area they use jeeps.


----------



## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

Absolutely report him.
1. Tell the company that the neighbors informed you of what he was doing.
2. Tell the company that your wife confessed to having sex with him in his company vehicle during his work hours and that he come to your home and had sex with your wife.
3. Tell the company that unless he is fired immediately you will contact an attorney and file a lawsuit against the company.

By the way after what your wife did I do not understand why you would have ever wished to try to recover. What she did was so humiliated and disrespectful to you as a man and a spouse. I hope you exposed her to everyone and everybody. If the roles were reversed do you think she would have wished to recover with you? If you do not respect yourself then who will? I do hope you got tested for STD's.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

BURNT KEP said:


> True but op said in the back of his truck. I don't know of USPS using trucks in my area they use jeeps.


depends on the area as to which vehicles are used
some areas even use Subaru wagons with the driver's seat on the right side


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

It's very possible that they would send a supervisor out to catch him.

Is it possible for you to get photos or video of him there?


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Also find out if he's married or has a gf, and expose the affair to her.


----------



## PreRaphaelite (Dec 15, 2012)

By all means report him and expose the affair.

I hope you have already exposed the affair to both of your families and your neighbors.

As others will tell you, your first and biggest mistake was to try and win her back. If you are not already, you should be doing the 180. Cut her off completely. No dealings with her except for details about the divorce. Let her go. Let her go have her thrills and enjoy her freedom. She's out of your life and work on yourself.

If you have the full story from her, then be done with it. Your wife is a complete fool and her fantasy is going to come crashing down around her soon enough. Be far away when that happens.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Also do not tell your wife you are doing this or threaten to do this, she'll warn the OM.


----------



## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

USPS does not look kindly on non employees riding in vehicles. Let alone shagging in uniform and on duty. The postal police may want to fit you with a wire and you can record her. 

Depends how far you want to take this.


----------



## Julien (Mar 25, 2013)

HELL, YES! Report him.
USPS driver is not really a hot job. HR will drop him like a hot potato.
Tell yourself, if you were his boss, what would you do?
HR already has a ton of resumes from good people waiting for a position to open, you'll make these people a service and you'll help USPS be a better company. What is there not to like?


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Report him, even if nothing happens to him, other than headaches...you WILL feel better.

And if he IS fired...all the better. Nothing like watching a nice pension go down the tubes.


----------



## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> depends on the area as to which vehicles are used
> some areas even use Subaru wagons with the driver's seat on the right side


True but the vehicles they use don't usually have spec in the back to do anything


----------



## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Please, do it.


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I would not inform your wife as suggested above. I would find out as much as you can about this dude. Post him on cheaterville. If you can hire a P.I., get photos. When your wife is in the fog of the A there is little you can do to win her heart but exposing the A is typically one way to end it. If he is not committed he will run. If you know that she is still doing this while he is working get solid proof and present it to his manager. If nothing more it will embarrass him. If she is in the truck get proof and keep it secret form her and the OM. 

Keep in mind without proof it is your word against his.

When I threatened to hire street people here in Philly and told the pastor and the XOM's employer that I would picket the church and his business unless the XOM tell his wife and then call me, it worked. The pastor and his boss pressured him to confess and call me. I also told them I would be leaving my house at 7 P.M. to go to the XOM's house that night if he did not do this. As I was getting in my truck at 7 the XOM called me. The pastor did not believe me at first when I called him the day before all this but my wife talked to him and told him the story. So the pastor knew how serious I was when I told him I was going to have an anti-infidelity rally by the church and would be naming people on the signs. 

It did not get him fired but the employer now looks at this guy in a whole different light and it could affect any future promotions.


----------



## movieman (Jun 26, 2013)

Thanks for the input guys. I will tell his job just to get it off of my chest. I don't expect him to get fired although I do hope he loses it. AFAIK, he has been seeing her full time now since we are separated. I have thought about hiring a PI to see if it was still going on while he was on the clock. I just didn't want to waste time pouring resources into something that would just make me look more stupid.


----------



## BK23 (Apr 17, 2013)

movieman said:


> Thanks for the input guys. I will tell his job just to get it off of my chest. I don't expect him to get fired although I do hope he loses it. AFAIK, he has been seeing her full time now since we are separated. I have thought about hiring a PI to see if it was still going on while he was on the clock. I just didn't want to waste time pouring resources into something that would just make me look more stupid.


Don't forget posting him on Cheaterville. You'd be surprised how effective this can be.


----------



## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

If you put enuff pressure on the postal service---he will get fired

The postal service is responsible for what goes on, on their trucks---had your wife gotten hurt---they would be liable thru the employee

He is taking time to have sex with your wife, and slowing mail delivery---in where some people may have needed their mail delivered as soon as possible---so this guy is liable in a whole lot of ways

He also broke up your family, while on work time---tell them, to fire him, or you will bring a civil suit for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress---and you will name them a co-defendant---if they do not take some kind of action-----sue him as a defendant---sue him for yourself, and each of your kids---if you have kids---he will have to answer and defend each and every suit you file

Your wife will actually end up being the main witness against him, that should be karma agst. both of them


----------



## BK23 (Apr 17, 2013)

jnj express said:


> He also broke up your family, while on work time---tell them, to fire him, or you will bring a civil suit for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress---and you will name them a co-defendant---if they do not take some kind of action-----sue him as a defendant---sue him for yourself, and each of your kids---if you have kids---he will have to answer and defend each and every suit you file
> 
> Your wife will actually end up being the main witness against him, that should be karma agst. both of them


Unless you've got a lot of money and a desperate attorney, you can't sue this guy for IIED. The standard, in most states, is pretty high. No harm threatening him though! 

Also, what state are you in? If it's a single consent recording state, you could goad your wife into admitting the truck stuff and the affair on tape, and then take that to the USPS.


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

LostViking said:


> Nomoregames has a wife who was cheating with a UPS driver. Wonder if this is the same OM?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That was a Fedex guy. This is an ordinary mailman.


----------



## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey BK---the main element to this would be, would the trier of fact find what the mailman was doing, as to be outrageous

A good atty. can make that happen---lets admit it---half of what goes on in a courtroom, is based on fiction anyway---but the OP, could actually just file the suits, himself, which forces the mailman, to get an atty, to answer, cuz if he doesn't answer w/in 30 days---he defaults----OP, doesn't have to pursue the lawsuit---but I promise you he, will shake the mailman, to his very core---cuz most postman aren't exactly "loaded with green"---and having to pay an atty. to file answers, and also pay the filing fees, is gonna hurt the mailman


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

jnj express said:


> Hey BK---the main element to this would be, would the trier of fact find what the mailman was doing, as to be outrageous
> 
> A good atty. can make that happen---lets admit it---half of what goes on in a courtroom, is based on fiction anyway---but the OP, could actually just file the suits, himself, which forces the mailman, to get an atty, to answer, cuz if he doesn't answer w/in 30 days---he defaults----OP, doesn't have to pursue the lawsuit---but I promise you he, will shake the mailman, to his very core---cuz most postman aren't exactly "loaded with green"---and having to pay an atty. to file answers, and also pay the filing fees, is gonna hurt the mailman


I like that as it goes you can beat the rap but you can't beat the ride.:lol:


----------



## BK23 (Apr 17, 2013)

jnj express said:


> Hey BK---the main element to this would be, would the trier of fact find what the mailman was doing, as to be outrageous
> 
> A good atty. can make that happen---lets admit it---half of what goes on in a courtroom, is based on fiction anyway---but the OP, could actually just file the suits, himself, which forces the mailman, to get an atty, to answer, cuz if he doesn't answer w/in 30 days---he defaults----OP, doesn't have to pursue the lawsuit---but I promise you he, will shake the mailman, to his very core---cuz most postman aren't exactly "loaded with green"---and having to pay an atty. to file answers, and also pay the filing fees, is gonna hurt the mailman


You must have attended a different law school than me. To the best of my knowledge most states won't entertain an IIED claim over an affair. The majority of states did away with heart balm statutes (alienation of affection), and they aren't going to allow a back door to the same result. 

If he wants to burn some money just to piss the guy off, why not. I agree with you there. He might as well go pro se--why waste money on a lawyer if your claims are going to get tossed anyway.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Eh make him use his vacation days.


----------



## movieman (Jun 26, 2013)

Welli decided to go ahead and out the wheel in motion. I went down to the main office and filed a complaint on yesterday. I was told that someone will give me a call next week. I'm going to tell them that I'm getting a lawyer. Hopefully they will just fire him since they don't want a pr disaster.


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

movieman said:


> Welli decided to go ahead and out the wheel in motion. I went down to the main office and filed a complaint on yesterday. I was told that someone will give me a call next week. I'm going to tell them that I'm getting a lawyer. Hopefully they will just fire him since they don't want a pr disaster.


Good to hear you got the ball rolling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

If he's the mail man, it's a federal job. You can get into a whole lot of trouble just going into someone else's mailbox. If she was riding around in his mail truck it wouldn't matter if she was screwing him or playing tiddely winks with pancakes. I would think that there are federal laws that prohibit passengers in a mail truck. She could also get into trouble with the feds. 

By the way. Why would you want her back? My God you talk about being cheap and dirty. For just the thrill of getting caught? If that's the case, friend what's she going to do for an encore? Make amateur porn?


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

BURNT KEP said:


> True but the vehicles they use don't usually have spec in the back to do anything


But some areas use larger vans


----------



## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

I am sorry that this has happened to you.


----------



## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

movieman said:


> Welli decided to go ahead and out the wheel in motion. I went down to the main office and filed a complaint on yesterday. I was told that someone will give me a call next week. I'm going to tell them that I'm getting a lawyer. Hopefully they will just fire him since they don't want a pr disaster.


They can't just fire him, it is a union job with a lot of protection. They will have to investigate, and if they think it's true, then they will try to fire him. Getting a lawyer involved will help your cause, they won't just give him a warning and sweep it under the rug if they know a lawyer is following up on it. 

It's supposed to be run like a for-profit business, but there are no owners and there are no shareholders and there is little incentive for managers to do the right thing in situations like this. They just want to maintain the status quo. It's not run like a private company. It is a huge bureaucracy. We are talking about people in management who would rather ignore this and see it go away.

Complaining to the local post office where he works is the worst place you can complain to. Find out where you can file a complaint with the postal police. Use this link to find out where: https://ribbs.usps.gov/locators/find-is.cfm

There are postal police. These are real police with real police powers. They are your best bet. Complain directly to them. They are the real deal, so don't lie to them, tell them the truth, tell them what your wife told you, and give them the names of your neighbors who can corroborate.


----------



## Labcoat (Aug 12, 2012)

If you are confident that you can without embarrassing yourself, hell yes.

Was recently on a forum where a couple of guys were bragging about screwing other men's wives. I chimed in asking why they couldn't just go after available women. I didn't see the point in making a mortal enemy over an easy lay.

They both came backing saying that no man has ever come after them in any way. For most of the 50,000 years of human existence, it was OK to kill guys like that. Now it's illegal, so if you can get him fired do it. If your wife was fair game then so is his career.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

USPS jobs pay very well. There is a line of guys waiting for his job. Go after the SOB


----------



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> USPS jobs pay very well. There is a line of guys waiting for his job. Go after the SOB


Good your exw can support him.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

LostViking said:


> Nomoregames has a wife who was cheating with a UPS driver. Wonder if this is the same OM?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Isn't there one where the WW is/was cheating or in an EA with a Fedex man?


----------

