# Attention seeking women/men



## Cream2sugarsplz (Mar 28, 2016)

I know this is a fairly common occurrence in relationships from time to time - the dreaded occasional "threat" or at least, people who make you raise your eyebrow. The opposite sex (or same depending on your lifestyle) friend/coworker/gym partner who starts rearing their ugly head in your SO's conversations or all over their facebook page. 

I've unfortunately had to deal with this with my husband since we met and there's no end in sight. Firstly, he's very attractive (and I'm not being biased!) He possesses the qualities most people would consider above average (great body, handsome face, blue eyes, nice teeth...) I see how women look at him, which is a point of pride for me. I don't mind it at all! :smile2: However, he's an active gym goer. It's his outlet, his social time, his extra-curricular activity and I am not a part of it. Honestly I think it's great for him bc he's not very social in the "normal" sense (doesn't drink, not big on watching sports), he doesn't hang with "the guys" often...

Anyway, I was getting annoyed recently when this woman from his gym began tagging him in these articles with little videos of her working out and her training logs. Annoying, but harmless...until one of these articles cover contained a picture of her with her legs spread eagle wearing a glorified tank top. It made my head spin bc this thing appears on my husband's facebook page??! I was livid - and now I've got my eye on her. 

Fortunately for him, I had a little time to settle down and collect my thoughts before addressing it with him. I made him tell her to delete it and not EVER tag him in "budoir" photos out of respect for him as a married man. For God sake, we have mutual family members on our facebook! THINK, you dumb b!tch! Anyway...

She, along with many in the past, is one of these "look at me", obsessed with themselves, can't get enough of attention type women. I checked out her instagram which of course, housed a lot of things I wasn't a fan of - and he's friends with her. He understands why this bothers me. I said, "I know it's the internet. I know you're human. You can look up, see, watch whatever you want but when you put a name and personality to it let alone someone you know and spend time with? It bothers me." He had the wrong response, "What do you want ME to do?" 

She continues to tag him in everything and it just gets under my skin. The thing of it is, what can I really do about it? Am I just projecting jealousy and insecurity of some capacity or do I have a legit reason to be bothered bc this girl is disrespecting boundaries? WHY do you have to inform my husband of every move you make? It's not like he wasn't there when you did it in the first place. 

I guess my question is does this warrant ANY concern or am I looking for a problem that doesn't exist? Thanks!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

IF I was in your shoes... I'd feel the same about this woman and her flirtatious need to show off her wear to married men.. very low class.. it would be helpful if your husband saw it this way.. instead he is likely flattered by the attention.. hopefully that's all it is.. 

I think I'd start going to the gym with him. .. introduce yourself to this woman.. get to know her.. does she have a boyfriend at least that she claims on Facebook?


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Ugh, Facebook. lol So much bad comes from that website. Honestly, he shouldn't have her on his friends list, especially he should remove her now since she tagged him on such an explicit pic. I don't agree with going to the gym and introducing yourself to the woman. Your husband should be able to handle it on his own, without you getting involved. If she remains on his FB friends list, that would be more concerning to me.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Cream2sugarsplz said:


> I guess my question is does this warrant ANY concern or am I looking for a problem that doesn't exist? Thanks!


I think a problem exists if he's not taking your concerns seriously. I'd ask him to remove her as his friend on facebook. 

If he tells you there's nothing wrong with the photos, then ask him if he's okay with you posting pics similar to hers on facebook. 

If he tells you that you're making too big of a deal out of it, ask him if he'd be okay with you getting tagged on big, buff men's pics on facebook. If he tells you he'd be okay, pm me and I'll give you the names of a few muscle and fitness models I know who would happily add you to their facebook page and tag you :laugh:


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

The problem with asking him to remove her is now it gives them something more to talk about when he is at the gym. If she is casting a spell, jealous wife is the first ingredient. 

Really, he has to get it. You have to explain it to him that a female friend at the gym is not appropriate. The gym is an extremely sexual place. It's almost a legit porn shop. Tell him that if this doesn't stop, then the marriage will suffer. He needs to know consequences right away.


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## Bitteratwomen (Jun 21, 2014)

This woman needs to be gona ASAP! Hopefully your husband is smart enough to see the trouble this can land him in if he doesnt end that friendship.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

This has never been a problem for my wife. She was smart enough not to marry a handsome man.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cream2sugarsplz (Mar 28, 2016)

Thound said:


> This has never been a problem for my wife. She was smart enough not to marry a handsome man.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hahaha!! This was honestly the best response yet b/c it made me laugh!! :grin2::grin2::grin2:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Cream2sugarsplz said:


> Hahaha!! This was honestly the best response yet b/c it made me laugh!! :grin2::grin2::grin2:


I laughed reading it too. I never had these issues either... my husband is a very quiet mild mannered man.. never one women threw themselves at.. I guess that mean's he's not







in the sense that "Alpha" guys are .. though honestly.. I can live with that !


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## Cream2sugarsplz (Mar 28, 2016)

Herschel said:


> The problem with asking him to remove her is now it gives them something more to talk about when he is at the gym. If she is casting a spell, jealous wife is the first ingredient.
> 
> Really, he has to get it. You have to explain it to him that a female friend at the gym is not appropriate. The gym is an extremely sexual place. It's almost a legit porn shop. Tell him that if this doesn't stop, then the marriage will suffer. He needs to know consequences right away.


Your comparison to it as a porn shop is fairly accurate...I failed to mention, in the posts I've observed, she's always in glorified underwear. 

My gym isn't so much a porn shop lol...I teach Zumba to middle aged women, and the occasional husband they drag with them haha!


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## Cream2sugarsplz (Mar 28, 2016)

The thing is, I don't worry about him. If he gets an eyeful at the gym, what can I do about it. I can't lock him in a closet (can I??  Other than that, I always know where he is and what he's doing. So I've tried to concentrate on that and make her irrelevant, but I CANNOT!!


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Make him think about how he'd feel if the situation were reversed. Ask him what he'd want YOU to do about it if a guy at your gym was constantly tagging you in photos where he is near nude, and all your family and friends were seeing it.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

By the way, everyone has the option to stop other people from tagging them in stuff on FB, where all tags have to be approved. He could easily stop that from happening.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Cream2sugarsplz said:


> The thing is, I don't worry about him. If he gets an eyeful at the gym, what can I do about it. I can't lock him in a closet (can I??  Other than that, I always know where he is and what he's doing. So I've tried to concentrate on that and make her irrelevant, but I CANNOT!!


Getting an eyeful is one thing, but sharing his FB info with a random chick at the gym, I don't think that's prudent. Not as a married man.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Cream2sugarsplz said:


> Hahaha!! This was honestly the best response yet b/c it made me laugh!! :grin2::grin2::grin2:


Now my daddy was a handsome man. All my friends used to say he looked like Burt Reynolds. I remember my sisters friends always talking about him. Everyone says I look like my mom, which would be great if I was chick.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Sorry, I had to snicker when he asked what you want him to do about it. It has a faint ring to the mother/husband thread where you just want to stay out of it. Maybe he would tell this tart to piss off if you told your mother the same.

Your husband does seem to want attention from hogging the dinner conversation to allowing this woman to tag him. Plus, he's jealous of your relationship with your mom.


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## Cream2sugarsplz (Mar 28, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Sorry, I had to snicker when he asked what you want him to do about it. It has a faint ring to the mother/husband thread where you just want to stay out of it. Maybe he would tell this tart to piss off if you told your mother the same.
> 
> Your husband does seem to want attention from hogging the dinner conversation to allowing this woman to tag him. Plus, he's jealous of your relationship with your mom.


*applauds*


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

There's this thing I call the 'shutdown' vibe. It's a low key but perfectly clear way to let someone know you are NOT interested. 

Your H needs to give her that vibe. Otherwise she will continue her very public pursuit of him. 

In a very calm, firm voice you might want to ask him how he would feel if another man was publicly pursuing you, and you didn't give them the shutdown vibe....




Cream2sugarsplz said:


> I know this is a fairly common occurrence in relationships from time to time - the dreaded occasional "threat" or at least, people who make you raise your eyebrow. The opposite sex (or same depending on your lifestyle) friend/coworker/gym partner who starts rearing their ugly head in your SO's conversations or all over their facebook page.
> 
> I've unfortunately had to deal with this with my husband since we met and there's no end in sight. Firstly, he's very attractive (and I'm not being biased!) He possesses the qualities most people would consider above average (great body, handsome face, blue eyes, nice teeth...) I see how women look at him, which is a point of pride for me. I don't mind it at all! :smile2: However, he's an active gym goer. It's his outlet, his social time, his extra-curricular activity and I am not a part of it. Honestly I think it's great for him bc he's not very social in the "normal" sense (doesn't drink, not big on watching sports), he doesn't hang with "the guys" often...
> 
> ...


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