# Mediation: Issue with bringing lawyer



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

My STBXW and I have decided to do mediation in mid-April since it's recommended by the court where I live. She is not being represented by an attorney (she's doing this on the cheap), and has asked if my attorney will be there. I'm certain she is worried that he will be there. If I can avoid making her paranoid, I would by not bringing my attorney, but how much of a disadvantage for me is that? I am thinking of walking in to mediation with set boundaries and a plan of how far I am willing to go. Also, could I walk out of mediation with the intent of not signing anything until my attorney looks at what was decided? Or should I say the heck with it and have my attorney there? She doesn't care about the house and the financial split is very fait IMO. But when it comes to CC and CS, she is wayyyy off base. I am hoping the mediator can knock some sense into her. We'll see.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Bring the lawyer, you desperately need someone to help you not to get rolled over more by her.

She is selfish and remorseless, she has been for years. Why do you keep clinging to the hope she will suddenly turn into something she isn't?

She is getting 100% what she wants. She always does and you keep giving in to her.

You really need a friend in that room to keep you from being cheated out of even moreby her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

The mediator will NOT - under any circumstances - knock sense into anyone.

The mediator is about getting you two to agree.

She wants you one-on-one.

She knows how that turns out.

You roll over.


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

Why wouldn't you want support? Or an advantage?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

why are you so willing to bend over backwards to accommodate her?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Bring your attorney. She has chosen to represent herself. This is her choice.

The medicator will push of the two of you to agree on anything and to sign the papers. The medator does not really care is one of you rolls over the other.

From what we have seen here you will allow your wife to roll over you and give up just about everything. So you need your attorney.

You will not be required to sign an agreement at the end of the mediation meeting. Just say no and take time to think it over.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

By all means take your lawyer! Although my estranged husband is without an attorney, I took mine to mediation. Yeah, my estranged husband is so bad--his own lawyer dumped him. His own lawyer couldn't trust him. No way was I going to mediation without representation.

You do not have to decide anything at mediation. The session can be adjourned for a later meeting. Also, if there are definite things you can agree on, get them in writing. And have your wife sign that. It won't be binding at that point, but she then can't deny it later.


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

just keep on rolling over houston,and before you know it, you will be paying her..get your head outta your azz.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

I actually thought the whole point of mediation was to NOT need individual lawyers in the first place, because you each felt that you could work out an agreement on your own.

In your case, why mediate at all? As others have said here, you continually get rolled by her. So why not have someone stand and fight for you in ways you clearly cannot do for yourself with her now?


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

Houstondad, if you want your stbx to keep on getting her way, keep on. People are giving you good advice, but you just seem to want to give in. Stop giving in to her. Think about why she lost feelings for you. You're such a pushover - she lost respect for you. She's probably laughing with her friends and new bf about how she's going to get over on you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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