# My short advice for all your problems



## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

Your spouse is angry? You're angry? You're in a situation that isn't fair and you're heart broken and bewildered?

No matter what the situation, the following is your guide. Forget the 180, no situation is the same and that isn't always suitable or affordable.

The only thing you control, whether you live together or aprt, is you

Conflict is what you do, don't engage. The pers.on wil do what they want regardless what you do, you can't blame anyone else if you act or buy into being provoked. Conflict is what you do not what they do. Understand what your financial obligations are and make your judgement as what's best for you and your kids.

Remember you only control you, you will experience crazy and emotionally abusive people at work and at home. How you react is what makes the conflict perpetuate or not. Don't give into your emotions, conflict is what you do,mite all you control,melt the other person do what they will do and think of it less or document it. Just don't engage it, ignore calmly or be grounded like you're dealing with a mental health issue, because you are.

Control yourself, use your judgement when you need to make contact, be matter of fact, simple cut to the chase, no discussion on anything that isn't necessary. Keep it simple. No tit for tat, no vindictiveness, deal with your feelings with a professional or friends or,on your own. You want to get to a place that is not full of emotion but one of intelligent effective discussion that fosters collaboration, that's the best you can hope for 

Good luck


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