# Gained my child but lost my brother



## Pumpkingpie

A few weeks after I had my baby, my brother died. I am so sad. . . and mad. 

I’m extremely grateful for my child. I always try to have a smile when I’m with him. But it’s almost my brother’s birthday and I just can’t. 

it’s only been a few months…
I feel soo lonely, unloved, exhausted, & in physical pain. I have soo many questions and no answers. He had soo much left to do & it was only a few years ago that he became of legal age to drink. 

My son is such a great little person. He laughs and giggles soo much. I love him soo very much. I helped raised my brother. We are all soo close because of how our mom treated us. I feel soo broken. 

I’m sorry


----------



## BeyondRepair007

Pumpkingpie said:


> A few weeks after I had my baby, my brother died. I am so sad. . . and mad.
> 
> I’m extremely grateful for my child. I always try to have a smile when I’m with him. But it’s almost my brother’s birthday and I just can’t.
> 
> it’s only been a few months…
> I feel soo lonely, unloved, exhausted, & in physical pain. I have soo many questions and no answers. He had soo much left to do & it was only a few years ago that he became of legal age to drink.
> 
> My son is such a great little person. He laughs and giggles soo much. I love him soo very much. I helped raised my brother. We are all soo close because of how our mom treated us. I feel soo broken.
> 
> I’m sorry


@Pumpkingpie I am so sorry for your loss. Words don’t mean much right now, I know that. But just know that TAM is here for you. Come here and vent, rant, cry, and ramble if you want.

The pain of losing someone close is, unfortunately, shared by many of us.

So just know you are among friends and can let it out safely here.

The year ahead will be filled with “first”s. And none of them will be bearable, but you will bear them.
You have too for your son, and for yourself.


----------



## elliblue

Did your brother take his own life?
Your mother didn't treat you well and you kids took care of each other . It means there is a background of mental problems in your story and your brother fell victim of it?

It is important for you to understand your story and what happened to your brother. 
But it is also inportant for you to understand that your son is a victim of all of it as well. He is small, but he is effected by the grief and it will imprint his soul.

In addition to this, he may also be predispositioned to be mentally voulnerable like you and your brother, being a genetic offspring of your mother, who I am pretty sure had a mental illness that resulted in her mistreating her children. 

I would highly recommend you seak psychological support to help you deal with all of it.

If you feel conflicted being happy about your child and on the otherside mourning your brother, don't be. 

If he took his own life he obviously didn't care about what bourden he would leave his nephew at the end for whatever reason he felt he had to leave earth. his nephew wasn't important to him to stay alife or be a bit more happy, but to you your son should be.

On the other side, If your brother died by an accident or illness, he most likely cared and didn't want his nephew to suffer from him passing away. 

Your brother is in a better place yet and your son has priority now. He is alife and will face life and a lot of hardship. You don't want your child in 18 years jumping off a bridge because he is carrying a pain inside of him, he can't explain, because his uncle passed away and his mother wasn't able to find joy her baby son being alife.

Mouring doesn't mean being highly depressed and unhappy. Some people beliefe, the more they suffer, the better they are in their grief.

Laughter and tears are very close to each other and sometimes the same. You are allowed to laugh and feel joy about your child while mourning your brother.


----------



## 342693

I'm so sorry for your loss. How old was your brother?


----------

