# Received Xmas Gift - Return?



## texasoutlaw82 (Dec 27, 2013)

Hello everyone,

First off, I've been a lurker for about 4 weeks now due to issues between an on/off again relationship with a woman for 3 years now. I looked to this website for a variety of reasons to help my own sanity with this entire situation. I'll talk about that in another post. In the mean time, here is my current question with a small preface.

2 weeks ago before Christmas my on/off again got into another spat(usually something I did/didn't do) and I tried contacting her the night of the issue and then again the following day to no avail. No return phone...nothing.

Fast forward 2 weeks to Christmas, my family gathers at my aunts house for Christmas. Low and behold, the on/off again showed up the day before and delivered a gift for my daughter and me. Now I take this is a sign of cowardice and skirting and it really, really irks me. This isn't the first time something like this has occured. 

I find myself irritated because she has the audacity to bring gifts over to someone else's house instead of directly dealing with me. I just feel like it's a cop out. Has this occurred to anyone else and how did you handle it?

I've considered taking the unopened gifts and bringing them directly to her because I don't feel it's appropriate to just leave gifts like that. 

I had already taken her gifts and returned them...shouldn't she have done the same?

So, that's a bit of my story. I'd appreciate any thoughts/feedbacks/suggestions.

Glen


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I agree that it's weak/cowardly on her part to deliver the gift to your family, and not you, but I wouldn't return it. A gift is a gift.

Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who ignores you as how she did after you tried reaching out to her?


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Sounds like button pushing to me. And involving other people especially those related to you is immature and ridiculous. Regardless of what you did/didn't do.


----------



## texasoutlaw82 (Dec 27, 2013)

Jellybeans said:


> I agree that it's weak/cowardly on her part to deliver the gift to your family, and not you, but I wouldn't return it. A gift is a gift.
> 
> Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who ignores you as how she did after you tried reaching out to her?


I realize a gift is a gift. This gift was also purchased when things were going well and we seemed to be on a good path. That direction changed and the dynamic of the relationship changed.

Inevitably, I returned the gift. I called and left a voicemail indicating my intentions and I was met by her on the front porch of her home. I wouldn't have felt right accepting a gift under the circumstances.

To answer your question, no, I do not. This isn't the first time for this type of occurrence but it is the last. I'm re-establishing my boundaries and it feels great.


----------



## texasoutlaw82 (Dec 27, 2013)

On another note, it turns out she delivered a gift(without my knowledge) to my son on Christmas Eve. As soon as I left the other 2 unopened gifts with her, she sent me a text message saying, "Audrey(my daughter) should have been able to keep hers. Becca(sons mother) let Michael(son) keep his."

At first I had no idea what she was talking about but when I got home I asked my son if he received a gift and he did. I would not have allowed that to happen but she skirted around me.

I didn't reply to the text and I have no intention of initiating anymore contact with her. After 3 years I will no longer battle for someone who has emotionally blocked herself off from the world.


----------

