# So many questions......



## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Hello all, I would like any and all opinions/thoughts/comments.

I often question my parenting. Growing up I had a very strict father/he was really not nice at all....borderline abusive. My first husband was just like my dad. I was married a second time, and the split up was not due to parenting issues. Since then, I have had a couple of boyfriends. Each one has either criticized my parenting or said I am a great mother with an untraditional parenting style. So my question is....what is normal?

Do parents usually have big disagreements on how kids should be treated?

As a parent how harsh or gentle are you with your kids?

Do you overlook certain things your kids do or get on them for any and every little mistake they make? 

Do you talk to them the way you expect them to talk to you...ie mutual respect?

Do you feel like you are a good parent?

Just so curious how other families work......how other parents raise their children.

Please comments...questions....whatever.

Dads....how do you play with your kids...specifically your boys? Do you always win and show them that you dominate?

Thank you!


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

raising5boyz said:


> Hello all, I would like any and all opinions/thoughts/comments.
> 
> I often question my parenting. Growing up I had a very strict father/he was really not nice at all....borderline abusive. My first husband was just like my dad. I was married a second time, and the split up was not due to parenting issues. Since then, I have had a couple of boyfriends. Each one has either criticized my parenting or said I am a great mother with an untraditional parenting style. So my question is....what is normal?
> 
> ...


Kids are 20 16 4 and 1. I try to parent the older 2 by laws of natural consequence unless the natural consequence is jail or death. My 20 year old is on her own, so my discipline is limited, though I repeat often to her, 'poor planning on your part does not mean an emergency for me'. The 16 year old is at a tough stage. Spreading his wings but needs reigning in. He is good with chores and helping with his 2 little brothers (genuinely loves them and likes playing with them). He is bad with curfew and letting me know where he is. He is disciplined with grounding and extra chores - hopefully related to the 'infraction'. The younger two are a crap shoot. They are spirited and tough to discipline because there is no 'logic' in them yet. We try distraction and time outs and the odd discussion with the 4 year old.
We try to go for walks and bike rides and play in the park with the kids. Sometimes play wii with older boy, read books.
Don't really 'play' with 16 year old, but do projects together.
Edited to add - some day I feel I have it all together and am doing a great job. Other days I could just cry. Typical mom I think!


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

'poor planning on your part does not mean an emergency for me'

I like that quote! I think I will start using it! I do tend to bend over backwards to help my kids out at times! It all depends on the circumstances I suppose!

"Some days I feel I have it all together and am doing a great job. Other days I could just cry. Typical mom I think!"

Yes, I agree with that statement for sure! And so do all the other moms I know!

Thank you for your input...


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Google 'attachment parenting'. That's the closest to my style that I have found.

My kids are grown now - they're 18, 20 and 22 and all out of the house right now.

My first husband and I split when the oldest was 4 and we rarely argued about child rearing because I did all of it.

My second husband basically just supported me in whatever venture I was on with the kids as they grew up. We were married when the oldest was 11.

If you were not questioning your ability as a parent you'd be in trouble. Always there is more to learn and a better job to do.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Very true to....thanks Hope. I will google that.


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