# Housing legality question?



## sam (Jul 2, 2009)

Heres the deal, wife and I are divorcing. 

she lives in the house we used to live in with our 3 daughters, the house is her fathers and is completely paid for, no rent etc.

I am probably going to be literally poor after this process, numbers break down as follows (according to her atorney.)

my net incom= $3300 month
wifes net income= $0 monthly

she has filed for a support award of:

$1,687 a month for child support

and

$681 a month for spousal support

leaving me with $932 a month...not much to live on in southern california.



anyhow, my real question is, I have a deal in the works that is a wonderful opportunity for me to save money and to help someone at the same time.

I am in contact with a woman who owns a very nice home, she lives there with her sone who is about 5 or 6. I believe she may be widowed, there is no man there. She proposed that I can live there and have the whole first floor of the house, my own bathroom, bedroom and kitchen. my soon to be ex wife says that is unnacceptable, and that i wont get any visitation if i am in a "shared housing" situ, but i would have my own room, bath and kitchen so i dont see her point.

Anyone with experience in this area? i would hate to have to pass this up, it would help me as i am gonna be living on $900 a month, and paying rent, car ins, gas, and food qwont happen on that amount.


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## sam (Jul 2, 2009)

Oh, my wife is also filing for me to have to pay her legal fees? for $7,500? that will be the end of my income period, for a looooong time.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

This is worth consulting a lawyer. It's hard to believe any court would object to your living situation. 

And don't assume the ex will get everything she asks for, either. Good luck!


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## sam (Jul 2, 2009)

thanks!


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

Yeah - it may all depend on zoning rules (wether or not renting rooms is allowed), etc. Definitely talk to a lawyer. You may only need a rental agreement to get around that.


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## sam (Jul 2, 2009)

but i guess what im looking for is: will it be a problem that there is a shared area? like, you walk into the home and there is a common area, then stairs up to her floor and my floor is just there, go to my room kitchen etc. there is no structural seperation like in an apartment building. will that be a factor?


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Sam~

#1 Here is the CA Child Support Calculator. Use it to see if that number is even realistic, and if you plug in real numbers and it's not, print your copy. 

#2 Print or read the CA Guidelines link there too. Just good stuff for you to know so you can make wise decisions. From what I can see, they use every source of income minus taxes, union dues, or health insurance. Then they take each parent's net income times the percent of time they have the kids in their home. I have no idea if they have an exception for a certain amount for living expenses though so look into that. 

#3 This group here is called Women's Rights: Shared Housing and if you click on that you'll see that they specifically set it up so a single parent can have a housemate or share a house with someone to reduce financial burdens and help with child care. Now this group is in New Jersey so it's not your state, but my guess is that it pretty clearly indicates that your wife can not keep your children from you because you are a housemate. This group is funded by state and county programs (like the county department of Human Services) so this is government approved. 

Soooooo...again I am not a lawyer and can not give you specific legal advice in California, but what do you think? Doesn't it sound like a threat to keep the kids from you to you? It sounds like that to me! And she benefits monetarily if you do not have the kids for visits, so she is withholding them for her own financial benefit. I don't see any legal grounds for withholding your children from you. You are their parent just as much as she is, and frankly, you have just as much right to keep them from her (and just to be clear--I mean that neither one of you has that right). So I say just don't fall for it and if she threatens that, either tell your lawyer or if you don't have one, tell the judge. When she files for 72% time with the kids on child support, just say that you have a room for them, beds, arrangements and she withheld them from you to boost that number, and then either ask that now you get 72% or that the judge order 50/50.


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