# Goodbye letter ideas?



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

I need to write a goodbye letter. 

I've tried and tried and.. well you get the idea. Not for him, he's already emotionally gone. But for me. 

Having him live here and pretend we are 'friends' only and that's all we've ever been is killing me. 

I don't need to kick him out, I just need to move on with my life. Heck I don't even care if he stays or what. 

But I need to move on. I need to acknowledge what i've done wrong and say i'm sorry for my part of it. Say thank you for the good times and let him know that i'm putting down the torch I've carried for him. 

I want to go out and meet people and date and feel like a woman again. Feel worthy of being cared for and wanted and special. 

And I would like to give him the ring back, which i haven't done yet. 

suggestions?


----------



## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

if the letter is for your benefit then why write it for him to read.

he needs no finality to move along, he already has moved along.

and if the letter is for you then say what you need to say, keep the letter safe, and promise yourself you'll read it in 6 months or a year.

i bet you'll be surprised at what you wrote.

you understand my concern.


----------



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Yes... but i need the closure. Too many times in the relationship he's said - 'you never told me' or some such. Plus I need to give him the ring back and I don't want any 'what's this for' explaining to do. 

Or, how about I give him the ring back, and if he doesn't ask, fine. but if he does, i need a backup letter to give him. 

Anything from "because you dumped me moron" to something with a bit more substance.


----------



## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

if you hand him back the ring and he asks 'whats this for' tell him to melt it down, sell, and use funds to buy a f*cking clue.

and maybe he'll share with you.

he can't be that dense.

and you really can't believe what you're saying.


----------



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

'he can't be that dense' 

anybody want to place odds he WILL ask me why i'm giving it back? anybody? bets close in one hour... 

bookie standing by


----------



## recent_cloud (Apr 18, 2009)

i've offered a response if he does ask.

no need for bets.

you're covered either way.

now just write for yourself if you need to in order to move to closure.

and stop trying to find ways to get his attention.


----------



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

so the carmen miranda hat is a no go then? damnit i hate ebay

and you are just trying to get out of the bet.


----------



## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I agree with recent.....do it for you and not his attention. It just knocks you down a notch, in his book, when you are asking for his attention. 

Move on with your life with/without your letter. At this point, if it makes you feel better....write and keep it. Don't give him the satifaction that you care. Sho


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

snix11 said:


> I need to write a goodbye letter.
> 
> I've tried and tried and.. well you get the idea. Not for him, he's already emotionally gone. But for me.
> 
> ...



I suggest you write whatever is in your heart, get a spiral notebook if you need to and let it rip...
but don't mail it.
Keep it and read it 10 years from now and it'll be cool to see how you've grown and moved on, hopefully to a better place in life.
DO NOT MAIL IT... he will not do anything but ridicule you for it. Its best to say nothing.


----------



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

ok. can i at least give the damn ring back? i feel stupid keeping it.


----------



## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Snix11 - you could always melt or pawn the ring and do something for yourself. It was a gift, a symbol of marriage and love - a circle, no beginning and no end. Maybe that will give you closure. Melt it for you.

IF you need to write for you, listen to Preso and just poor out your heart.

Could always start Dear Mr. Dense. Can you hear me now? Just saying to let it out. Life sure is like a box o chocolates, ya nuva know whacha goin to git.

Just start writing. Hardest thing about writing for me is the opening. So try just writing the purpose of this letter is .... and then just start writing. There is no correct way and the 1st draft doesn't have to be perfect, Just let it out. And that concludes Wriitng 101 for the day.


----------



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Oh heck i write every day. My journal is now over 5000 pages long 

writing out my feelings isn't a problem. DOING something about them is. at least where Mr. Dense is concerned


----------



## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

Hey doesn't deserve the ring back...plus he'll probably just look at you pathetically if you try to give it to him, considering the way you've described him in other posts he's rather emotionless...so keep it, melt, pawn it, sell it, use it towards and upgrade w/e you wish...but don't give it to him...lol. What the heck's he gonna do w/it?


----------



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

I don't know... it was just a gesture. like, thanks for the memories. I don't want to make an enemy of out him, i just want to move on


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

snix11 said:


> ok. can i at least give the damn ring back? i feel stupid keeping it.


You should keep the ring. Put it away or pawn it... it was a gift to you


----------



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

But I feel the ring is a symbol of fidelity, trust and being one. I no longer want to be faithful, I have no trust in him and he has broken the circle.


----------



## Flutterby (Aug 6, 2009)

I agree - don't give the ring back... it's yours. Sell it, exchange it for something else, or have it melted down and made into a one of a kind jewelry peace that is just for you and your marriage to yourself!

As for the "letter" that you feel you must write.. How about:

I release you....and I release me. May we both be blessed with a world of happiness apart.


----------



## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

snix11 said:


> But I feel the ring is a symbol of fidelity, trust and being one. I no longer want to be faithful, I have no trust in him and he has broken the circle.


and so you sell it! 

i sure as heck didn't and am not giving my rings back to my ex are you serious?! H*ll no. if anyone's going to "profit" from him doing the BS that he did...well this time it's gonna be me...call it what you want should anyone disagree...but that's just how it is lol :rofl:


----------



## scarletblue (May 20, 2009)

How about you keep the ring and give it to your kid when he's older? Just put it away somewhere and forget about it for 15 years or so.

As for the goodbye letter....what really is the point? You written him letters before and he doesn't seem to really react to them anyway. If he needs to know what you were thinking and feeling, he can read the other letters. If he hasn't "gotten it" by now, another letter isn't going to help.

If you really want to give him something on paper....how about having him served with papers restraining him from the house (since he won't leave) and child custody papers?


----------



## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

How about you MOVE ON! MOVE OUT! that should settle the "I need some closure" or tell him you want to live by yourself and CLOSE the door behind him. Pawn the ring an buy a new journal and some earrings!


----------



## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

U want to move on..MOVE OUT!


----------

