# Confused and hurt.



## Marie77 (Apr 10, 2019)

Hi, my name is Marie and I'm having a hard time with my husband's viewing habits online. Long story short, been married 5 years and discovered early on my husband was viewing alot of porn. Even messaging girls while I'm laying in bed next to him. That stopped, but I still to this day find things... Random names pop up on Facebook, saved videos on YouTube, and even found him watching romance movies when home alone but not with me. He even hidden the fact that a girl who was staying at a friend's house would hit on him every time he would visit his friend. That went on for a year. He's been accused of smacking 2 girls behinds, but he denies it. All this in 5 years and I feel so disrespected. What's your opinion. I hate the way I feel and he always slips up every 6 months or so. I've NEVER done any of this to him. I don't trust him after all this time and he thinks it crazy. Help? I feel like I'll never get that respect a wife should have.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Does he lie and say he hasn’t viewed porn, and then you found out he has?


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Marie77 said:


> Hi, my name is Marie and I'm having a hard time with my husband's viewing habits online. Long story short, been married 5 years and discovered early on my husband was viewing alot of porn. Even messaging girls while I'm laying in bed next to him. That stopped, but I still to this day find things... Random names pop up on Facebook, saved videos on YouTube, and even found him watching romance movies when home alone but not with me. He even hidden the fact that a girl who was staying at a friend's house would hit on him every time he would visit his friend. That went on for a year. He's been accused of smacking 2 girls behinds, but he denies it. All this in 5 years and I feel so disrespected. What's your opinion. I hate the way I feel and *he always slips up every 6 months or so.* I've NEVER done any of this to him. I don't trust him after all this time and he thinks it crazy. Help? *I feel like I'll never get that respect a wife should have.*


I have no problem with porn when agreed upon by both partners in the marriage. However, he doesn't slip up. He returns to the single life he prefers (messaging, flirting, saved videos). How is your sex life? Do you have children? Hope not. When he puts sex with others before his wife, he is making a statement unless you agreed to have porn as a third entity in your marriage.

I agree with you. You will never get the respect a wife should have. He sound too immature. Bet he rug-sweeps and minimizes the harm and hurt you are expressing. 

What kind of man was his father? Husband likely won't change. You have to decide whether to live in disrespect or make new plans. Set boundaries and stick to them.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

You have only seen the very TIP of the iceberg with this guy. Just the tip.

Only the very naive believe they've actually caught their lying spouse *every single time* he's stepped over the line.

This is only the crap you KNOW about him - there is likely tons of stuff you DON'T know. I don't believe for one second that he's this innocent guy who was being 'hit on' by a woman at his buddy's house and innocent choir boy that he is, he didn't take her up on it. In fact, it's much more likely he was the aggressor and has probably taken full advantage of it whenever the opportunity arose for him. I know his lying type. I've read about guys just like this for the last 20 years.

You'll eventually find out who you're really married to. Sadly, his type has no respect for anyone, including his wife. So having his true respect is a wish you'll likely never have fulfilled. The bottom line is that he's always going to be looking for the next opportunity to get himself a cheap thrill. And it will always be at your expense if you choose to stay with this guy.


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