# Hiccup in marriage, advice please!



## LifeisLove (1 mo ago)

I need advice, more like I don’t want to feel the way I do. Please listen to me and don’t just hear me. I’m only human, I made a mistake. 

I am a happily married woman with kids and have a wonderful life. However, about a year and half ago a person that I work with met eyes with me, it was accidental because we just ran into each other and literally I think we looked into each other’s soul when our eyes met. 


Background story, we have both worked in the same place for almost 10 years and never knew each other existed until last year 🤷🏽‍♀️ opposite schedules maybe or we just never paid attention to each other. We are also not in the same profession. 

Since then, when we make eye contact, we can’t stop staring at each other, I hardly ever work with him but it’s really weird when we do, i’m a crazy friendly person, but I totally shut down when I’m around him. I try not to be around him but there are circumstances I can’t avoid. Recently, I had to be around him a ton. When his leaving where we work, he will make sure he looks at me before he leaves, I look too. 

I have also seen him make an effort not too as well. I have made efforts to just put my head down and keep working. But sometimes we give in. 

It’s been over a year, we both have never talked unless it’s work related, one word conversation. we just stare but make efforts not too. However, I feel like the feelings are strong on both sides. He is really kind to me, I have recently been really mean to him to push us away from each other since we are both married and have a family. When we are alone somewhere, I put my head down and walk really fast so even if we wanted to talk we wouldn’t.

In the last week, I think we both have made efforts to not look at each other when we worked together, and we never talk unless it’s one word conversations. we look at each other and immediately put our head down and keep working. I think we are good people and are trying to save our marriages. Couple of days we saw each other in the hallway and put our heads down and kept walking past each other. 

I need advice, more like I don’t want to feel the way I do. Please listen to me and don’t just hear me. I’m only human, I made a mistake.


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## CrapMan (7 mo ago)

Sounds like an infatuation. I have a hard time believing an adult would act this way and seek advice. It is best to ignore the feels and stay from the co-worker.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

LifeisLove said:


> I need advice, more like I don’t want to feel the way I do. Please listen to me and don’t just hear me. I’m only human, I made a mistake.
> 
> I am a happily married woman with kids and have a wonderful life. However, about a year and half ago a person that I work with met eyes with me, it was accidental because we just ran into each other and literally I think we looked into each other’s soul when our eyes met.
> 
> ...


Some _*Fate*_, some *Being*, some thing, some power, wants the two of you to unite.

The timing was building, had been building, hence your' working together.

Then, it was nearing.

It has arrived, this Fate in the Making.

Weigh your options carefully. 

Few can escape our given Fate.

Those who do, do not escape easily, or with no snarls, maybe scars.

Question your *Maker* on this choice of yours, the one, yet to be made.

The easiest answer is to quit this employer and to get away from this co-worker, the con-spirit-er.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Your two *Aura's* found each other, and linked, long before this mindfulness.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Have some better self talk. Stop thinking all this romance novel drivel about looking into each other's souls. remind yourself how much you love your husband, your kids & your life. 

If you can't stop it, get a new job.


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## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

LifeisLove said:


> I feel like the feelings are strong on both sides. He is really kind to me,


How can you assess his feelings or kindness when you have never spoken to each other?


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## LifeisLove (1 mo ago)

CrapMan said:


> Sounds like an infatuation. I have a hard time believing an adult would act this way and seek advice. It is best to ignore the feels and stay from the co-worker.


Thank you! Trust me, I need the scolding…I’m not sure I I let my mind wonder


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## LifeisLove (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Have some better self talk. Stop thinking all this romance novel drivel about looking into each other's souls. remind yourself how much you love your husband, your kids & your life.
> 
> If you can't stop it, get a new job.


Thank you! Trust me, I need the scolding…I’m not sure I I let my mind wonder. Job is hard to change, but honestly just reading this is giving me a different prospective


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## LifeisLove (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> How can you assess his feelings or kindness when you have never spoken to each other?


Me going home depends on how fast he works! One day I was getting late for one of my kids activities and he was working, and right next to me, heard me telling my coworker. His speed picked up and I was able to get out on time.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

There’s nothing wrong with noticing someone attractive other than your spouse. It’s when you dwell on it and think it’s something more than it is. Like believing that you’re looking “into each other’s souls”. 

That’s really reading into something, and that is what will cause you to mess up your marriage. So, just change your perspective and it probably will be fine.


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## LifeisLove (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> How can you assess his feelings or kindness when you have never spoken to each other?





*Deidre* said:


> There’s nothing wrong with noticing someone attractive other than your spouse. It’s when you dwell on it and think it’s something more than it is. Like believing that you’re looking “into each other’s souls”.
> 
> That’s really reading into something, and that is what will cause you to mess up your marriage. So, just change your perspective and it probably will be fine.


thank you! I need to be stronger than I’m acting and just turn around.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

LifeisLove said:


> thank you! I need to be stronger than I’m acting and just turn around.


You got this! 🙌


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## LifeisLove (1 mo ago)

*Deidre* said:


> You got this! 🙌


Thank you 😊


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

This duplicate thread is now closed. Please refer to this thread, Advice for further updates.


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