# tempted to cheat



## fannypack (Sep 3, 2014)

I love my husband. we been together for 10 years now. we married at a very young age at 18 and have one daughter together. we both never got to "experiment" and enjoy the single life. lately, hes been depressed and stress, which stresses me out too. I try to support him in any way I can to make him happy but it drains me out too. 

I recently met a guy. just small talk here and there. but he seems to have everything going for him. good looking, great personality, good job. 

im tempted to have, maybe just a one night stand. but I know I cant! and I shouldn't! I feel guilty just talking to this guy but he makes me feel :smthumbup:

HELP! Am I a B?!?! Please don't judge and put me down. advices???!!!


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Its not "just a little" thing...

Affairs are deeply destructive to entire families, yours will be no exception.


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## brendanoco (Aug 6, 2014)

fannypack said:


> I love my husband. we been together for 10 years now. we married at a very young age at 18 and have one daughter together. we both never got to "experiment" and enjoy the single life. lately, hes been depressed and stress, which stresses me out too. I try to support him in any way I can to make him happy but it drains me out too.
> 
> I recently met a guy. just small talk here and there. but he seems to have everything going for him.* good looking, great personality, good job. *
> 
> ...


*Hypergamy baby*




do you respect your husband???


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Fannypack,

My advice to you would be to stop talking to this other dude. Of course, he makes you feel differently because he is something new & exciting. However, you entertaining this guy will not help your marriage. You are bordering on (sounds like you may already be in) an emotional affair. That's not fair to your husband or marriage. In essence, you have already cheated.

If you really want to save your marriage I would suggest counseling for either you alone or couple's.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

JustTired said:


> Fannypack,
> 
> My advice to you would be to stop talking to this other dude. Of course, he makes you feel differently because he is something new & exciting. However, you entertaining this guy will not help your marriage. You are bordering on (sounds like you may already be in) an emotional affair. That's not fair to your husband or marriage. In essence, you have already cheated.
> 
> If you really want to save your marriage I would suggest counseling for either you alone or couple's.


Agreed x 1,000,000


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> Agreed x 1,000,000


Ditto

Affairs are one of the MOST unloving choices you can make and if you TRULY love your husband you WILL cut off contact with this man and any others blowing wind up your skirt.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

fannypack said:


> HELP! Am I a B?!?! Please don't judge and put me down. advices???!!!


Your husband and daughter would certainly judge you for having an affair and blowing up the family and marriage.

Look, you're going to be attracted to lots of people in your lifetime. There are lots of people out there, many of them are attractive in one way or another, and being married doesn't mean you are dead and don't notice them. However, acting on your attractions is foolish and destructive.

This guy makes you feel good about yourself, makes you feel attractive and funny and charming and exciting. You love the attention! That's all it is.

10 years of life and marriage can wear people down. That is not the time to give up and do destructive things. That's the time to double-down and work on your marriage and your relationship with your husband. 

That's the point of marriage - you support each other when one is in need. You don't just throw your hands up and turn to someone else. That guarantees a marriage meltdown AND all those excited happy feelings you have been getting from this other guy's attention will become crappy feelings about yourself because you've become a liar and cheater and inconsiderate and disrespectful of your husband. Not to mention how crappy you will feel looking in your daughter's eyes knowing that you are putting her future and family in jeopardy.

Turn your attention to making your marriage fun and exciting, help your husband get out of his depression (maybe by making sure he goes to therapy) instead of ruining your marriage with a ONS or affair.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Try this.

Next time you are talking to you husband, imaging that you can see the most crushing devastating pain in his eyes that is possible, and then realize you put it there. 

Imagine that it will be there at some point every day for the rest of his life because he found out you cheated on him.


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## tonedef (Aug 7, 2014)

If you are entertaining the idea of a one night stand, why not just divorce your husband? There is nothing special about the other guy. He is new and exciting, but when the newness wears off, you'll see that he poops and has faults like everyone else. If your husband sucks, work on it or leave. A ons will tarnish everything you have right now and you will never be able to undo the damage it will cause.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Oh I don't know. Your H is depressed and out of sorts? Having an affair will certainly help that situation?

In all seriousness.... 

Time for some MC and talking with your H about your needs in the marriage. Finding out what H needs are. Do you think he is down and depress as a result of you spending chat time with OM? This time might be better spent with your H? Does he feel he missed the "experimenting" or is that just you?


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## JWTBL (May 28, 2014)

Have you read any of the threads on this site about how devastating an affair is ?


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

fannypack said:


> Am I a B?!?! Please don't judge and put me down.


Just a point of clarity....if someone were to answer your first question with a "Yes", does that mean that they are judging and putting you down?


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

so hubby is stressed out, sounds like the marriage is not doing so great.

That is exactly the opposite you need to have a stable open marriage. You need a strong marriage, with lots of mutual trust, love, and sex, BEFORE you let another man into the bedroom.

So, by all means do not cheat. Talk to your husband about your fantasy. See if he is at all open to an open marriage where you can play with this 2nd guy. IF he agrees, he will want you to set boundaries. But like I said above, you are playing with fire. If your marriage is rocky, and you end up falling for this new guy, then it is game over.

Ever think of just some cybersex, while staying true to your hubby? Its a lot less risky


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Tell your husband and cut off all contact with OM IMMEDIATELY!!

what you do now will forever define you as either a cheater or a person of good character.


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

With the lackadaisical approach she's taking towards her husband's depression and the casualness of her approach, perhaps it would be best if she just divorced and let _him_ move on?

I understand the OP doesnt want to be judged, but jeebus- it almost sounds like "Hey guys hubby is being a downer and i dont want 2 deal with it and i like rainbows and unicorns and i met this guy and i like him and i think he would totally be fun to screw and i could upgrade from my downer hubs and i could live happily ever after like a princess!! idk wut do u think? thx bai".

Thats literally what I read between the lines :scratchhead:


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Obviously you know you shouldn't cheat. Fine.
Let's turn it around for a moment. Let's say you found out he had done exactly what you are contemplating. Hid it from you, covered it up. Would you be OK with it? If he lied about it, continued doing it but didn't work on your relationship with you instead... spent his mental and emotional energy on making plans to be with her... maybe even liked it more than being with you? 

If you would be OK with all of that, then as suggested above, you're looking for an open marriage and need to have that conversation with hubby.

If you're not, then you've got a lot of work ahead of you to fix what you have before you toss it aside, and need to have THAT conversation with hubby.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Does anyone remember the MIA thread I think it was called like "Thanks guys I didnt do it" or somthing?

She went to lunch and turned him down and felt all victorious.
She did not tell her husband.
She could not resist the Om , 2 years layer she was still having sex with Om, who treated her worse than the husband and she had lost all respect and love for her husband, who was the “best” person she ever met.
I think this OM has a sure thing here as well. It’s just a matter of time and he knows it.



Lady it will be the best sex of your life, the sweetness of his lips, the feeling as they mouth your "sensitive" areas, and the climax will feel like you have ascended the temple of Apollo and had sex with a god, no mortal woman could reisist.

Remember it stops being a one night stand the second time, and there will be a second time. Self-loathing and ecstasy will be your new highs and lows, welcome to the addiction!


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

You're not a b*tch, you're human. You can't help your feelings, but you CAN help whether or not you act on them.

Cheating is a choice. No matter how tough your marriage is, how many drinks you've had, how heavy the temptation is...it is a choice.

DON'T DO IT. It will fix nothing and cause devastation and heartache all around.

Stop talking to the OM, even if you have to change jobs, do it NOW. Your marriage is on the line here.

Go to your husband, tell him you feel that your marriage isn't what it could be. Tell him that someone is paying attention to you, and that you like it. Tell him it scares you that you like it. 

Tell your husband that you love him and work on this together.


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## sunvalley (Dec 4, 2011)

fannypack said:


> I love my husband. we been together for 10 years now. we married at a very young age at 18 and have one daughter together. we both never got to "experiment" and enjoy the single life. lately, hes been depressed and stress, which stresses me out too. I try to support him in any way I can to make him happy but it drains me out too.
> 
> I recently met a guy. just small talk here and there. but he seems to have everything going for him. good looking, great personality, good job.
> 
> im tempted to have, maybe just a one night stand. but I know I cant! and I shouldn't! I feel guilty just talking to this guy but he makes me feel :smthumbup:


Looking at and admiring others is human. You're also human for fantasizing that the grass is greener on this OM's side of the septic tank. The reality is WAY different.

First, having a one-night-stand or affair with this man will NOT solve your marriage problems. Sure, it'll feel exciting — for a short time. However, when you leave the OM's presence, you'll still have to go home to a depressed husband, young daughter, and your own mirror.

Second, when others find out, you'll be branded as a cheater, homewrecker (both your own and the OM's), and unworthy of a long-term relationship. You see, stable, emotionally-healthy men will think, "Well, if she stepped out on her husband, who's to say she won't do it to me when the going gets tough? Hmm. I'd better stay away from this one." And many other people will think (and maybe say to your face) even nastier things.

Third, marriages go through rough patches — just like life and other relationships. It takes work, dedication and devotion to see those rough patches through.

I agree with the others; you'll need to have a sit-down with your husband and find out WHY he's depressed and stressed-out. When you find out, work on it. You vowed to love, honor and cherish this man until death parts you ... now honor your vows. If you don't want to, get a divorce and let your husband move on.


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

To echo what others have said we will all deal with temptation, and it seems to come often when we're vulnerable (when we're feeling unhappy, or have been wronged, etc). The stuff that makes us good people is fighting off temptation, even if it means drastic actions such as NO CONTACT because you know temptation is tough. 

My girlfriend did not understand why I asked her to go no contact with her ex, but I hope she is understanding better now. She still has some good memories with the guy, and when WE have our problems (we will) I don't want those memories to be jogged and things to spiral out of control. Better to avoid the bad situation. 

As someone who's ex-wife cheated on him due to same story (I was bad, guy was there, was understanding, first it was talking then it was EA then eventually probably PA) I told my GF and I will tell you -- don't cheat. Divorce is acceptable before cheating. It is NOT fair to the other person to cheat. It may crush him if you want a divorce, but your options are a) divorce and start again or b) work on your marriage. Cheating should never be an option, ever!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

#1 - I recommend that you don't get yourself into relationships with opposite sex. Strongly recommend to stay away. Naturally, in time .......nature will take it's course.

#2 - your thoughts are completely natural. It's your job and responsibility to deflect those thoughts and exercise mind control.

Both are a HUGE part of keeping a healthy marriage. 

Thus is why I highly recommend no opposite sex relationships AT ALL.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Best advice people are giving here is telling you this will affect your daughter as well if you go down this path. When you have affairs they often come to light and lead to divorce. That will of course affect your daughter. Then down the road you get to explain why the divorce really occurred. 

Peoples character get tested throughout life. Those decision you make could affect many. Be the person you, your husband and daughter can be proud of.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I too think where you are is normal, but your decisions going forward are important. Neither of you have lived your life, and I'd be surprised if your hb hasn't had some of the same feelings you have. I'm not implying he's cheated, but there has to have been a point where he thought about someone else and living his life a little more before settling, especially if he's been depressed.

Now you must deal with your marriage; stay in it or end it on it's own merits. This guy will do nothing but wreck your life. I agree that you should tell your hb that your marriage is on shaky ground, you might find he feels the same way. I wouldn't bring this other guy into it since nothing has happened, I think it would just plant a ton of suspicion in your hb's head that could shift his focus from dealing with your marriage. Definitely cut this other guy off.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Have you ever heard the saying, "Play with fire and you get burned?" 

That's what your doing and the longer you keep communicating with this guy, the harder it will be to stop and by then........................you got burned. Choice is yours but I hope your ready to suffer the consequences for your actions/


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## fannypack (Sep 3, 2014)

Wow! Lots of great advices. Thanks for everyone who did not put me down. Since posting last night, OM has been the one to say we both need to stop talking to each other. OM is single and looking for a relationship. I told him I understood him and I shouldn't of put him in the position I did. 

I haven't talked to him today, except for when I apologized to him. I admit, I'm still tempted to message him. BUT I WONT!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

fannypack said:


> Wow! Lots of great advices. Thanks for everyone who did not put me down. Since posting last night, OM has been the one to say we both need to stop talking to each other. OM is single and looking for a relationship. I told him I understood him and I shouldn't of put him in the position I did.
> 
> I haven't talked to him today, except for when I apologized to him. I admit, I'm still tempted to message him. BUT I WONT!


Inner demon war

It's a war we ALL fight consistently. It's a war that many lose and end up losing their loved ones.

Prepare for more......it's coming.

Meanwhile, job well done!!! Block him/ignore him going forward. Do what you would expect your husband to do!!!


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## CafeRed (Mar 26, 2012)

I'm glad you are steering clear of talking to OM. Please stay strong and avoid getting caught up in this temptation. Your family is worth fighting for, and nothing good can possibly come from this destructive behavior. 

If you're really struggling with thoughts of cheating, I'd recommend going to counseling. There might be an underlying issue going on, and a good counselor will help you work through that. 

Be strong! And I'm so glad you've gotten encouragement from others to protect your marriage and family. You won't regret it!


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

*Howdy Fanny:*

Been where you are and the link here, look at Questions 10 and 13, kind of summarize how Ms. Spin and I worked through the issue.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/long-term-success-marriage/66531-happy-marriage-survey.html#post1425262

Look, everybody is different, you mileage may vary, and my/our approach may not work for your situation.

*BUT *the one universal element is . . . there is so much consequence and gravity to the temptations that are pulling you.

Those underlying problems that are making it seem desirable to stray need to be addressed *BUT *when you do get past it, it will ultimately make you marriage a stronger one.

*DON’T GIVE UP – I’M GLAD I DIDN’T!*


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

fannypack said:


> Wow! Lots of great advices. Thanks for everyone who did not put me down. Since posting last night, OM has been the one to say we both need to stop talking to each other. OM is single and looking for a relationship. I told him I understood him and I shouldn't of put him in the position I did.
> 
> I haven't talked to him today, except for when I apologized to him. I admit, I'm still tempted to message him. BUT I WONT!


That's great, and I'm glad you are taking this step.

It's just the first step, though. Your marriage is in need of some work if you so easily came to this point of nearly having sex with someone else and destroying your family.

Your own boundaries need some work so you don't get so close to someone else and nip it in the bud before any sort of flirting or chatting gains ground. Learn to recognize your weaknesses and step away from the ledge when you see the cliff ahead. Also consider why you lapped up the attention, and why you needed that validation from another person. If you feel good about yourself, you don't need another man to make you feel good about yourself.

And you and your H need to start shoring up your marriage so you can shrug off any nice, attractive men that might look your way during your lifetime. The stronger you two are as a couple, the less likely your head would be turned by some casual, flattering attention from someone else.


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## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

You know the answer already....you really do.

Temptation is there every day for every one of us. That's the test for you to pass or to fail.

There's a reason the term "cheating" is used by everyone - because it is exactly that.

Do what you know is right, and don't fail....


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Big round of applause Girl... Give yourself time to let the rest of the fog clear... when you think of him, realize it's like drinking gasoline, toxic, to shake yourself out of it and begin counting the blessings you DO have with your family.


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## fannypack (Sep 3, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> I too think where you are is normal, but your decisions going forward are important. Neither of you have lived your life, and I'd be surprised if your hb hasn't had some of the same feelings you have. I'm not implying he's cheated, but there has to have been a point where he thought about someone else and living his life a little more before settling, especially if he's been depressed.
> 
> Now you must deal with your marriage; stay in it or end it on it's own merits. This guy will do nothing but wreck your life. I agree that you should tell your hb that your marriage is on shaky ground, you might find he feels the same way. I wouldn't bring this other guy into it since nothing has happened, I think it would just plant a ton of suspicion in your hb's head that could shift his focus from dealing with your marriage. Definitely cut this other guy off.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


H has thought about other women before. I caught him and his buddies talking about wanting to mess with other women. Almost every time we argue, he brings up that hes not in love with me, stays because its easier BUT enjoys doing things as a family.

Maybe hearing this so much made me want to stray?


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

fannypack said:


> H has thought about other women before. I caught him and his buddies talking about wanting to mess with other women. Almost every time we argue, he brings up that hes not in love with me, stays because its easier BUT enjoys doing things as a family.
> 
> Maybe hearing this so much made me want to stray?


If he says that and you have the boundaries you do, there are a number of issues in your marriage that need to be looked at. You might want to get counseling...


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

So he's not in love with you. I'd bet he's already cheated himself....why don't you tell him that you're not interested in staying married to someone who views you as a convenience. I have much less sympathy for him right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fannypack (Sep 3, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> So he's not in love with you. I'd bet he's already cheated himself....why don't you tell him that you're not interested in staying married to someone who views you as a convenience. I have much less sympathy for him right now.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know in my heart that he's never physically or emotionally cheated. I know he has a wondering eye. He says he's a man and that's what man naturally do...I sometimes feel the same way he does as far as staying together. It's easier for us to stay together. For our daughter and everything we own together. When were not arguing, we get along and enjoy each others company. I've asked him to go to marriage counseling but he refuses. I love him and do not wish anything bad on him.

One of the main reason I stay too is because I know he is depressed (tried to get him help but he never "gets around to it") and feel me leaving him would be IT for him.

WOW this is a WHOLE DIFFERENT TOPIC NOW. :scratchhead:


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

fannypack said:


> H has thought about other women before. I caught him and his buddies talking about wanting to mess with other women. Almost every time we argue, he brings up that hes not in love with me, stays because its easier BUT enjoys doing things as a family.
> 
> Maybe hearing this so much made me want to stray?


I totally understand... just take the high road and stay out of the quagmire of affairs and just address these issues directly instead of indirect passive aggressive affair that is highly destructive not only to those around you. but yourself as well. Rise above... don't sink below.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

fannypack said:


> I know in my heart that he's never physically or emotionally cheated. I know he has a wondering eye. He says he's a man and that's what man naturally do...I sometimes feel the same way he does as far as staying together. It's easier for us to stay together. For our daughter and everything we own together. When were not arguing, we get along and enjoy each others company. I've asked him to go to marriage counseling but he refuses. I love him and do not wish anything bad on him.
> 
> One of the main reason I stay too is because I know he is depressed (tried to get him help but he never "gets around to it") and feel me leaving him would be IT for him.
> 
> WOW this is a WHOLE DIFFERENT TOPIC NOW. :scratchhead:


Because now you are choosing the mature route of facing this head on instead of escaping through an affair. Good on you....

Now what... 

And you're H's apathy to heal things is BS... You are hurting by his choices and he needs to know and needs to rectify himself. He is not being kind with that attitude, nor loving.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

fannypack said:


> WOW this is a WHOLE DIFFERENT TOPIC NOW. :scratchhead:


That's because cheating doesn't happen in a vacuum. There are often issues within the cheater that "allows" them to make the decision to cheat whether the marriage is good or bad, and there are often issues in the marriage that create some sort of dissatisfaction or feeling unloved or whatever that makes it more likely they'd be attracted by another person showing up.


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

fannypack said:


> I know in my heart that he's never physically or emotionally cheated. I know he has a wondering eye. He says he's a man and that's what man naturally do...I sometimes feel the same way he does as far as staying together. It's easier for us to stay together. For our daughter and everything we own together. When were not arguing, we get along and enjoy each others company. I've asked him to go to marriage counseling but he refuses. I love him and do not wish anything bad on him.
> 
> One of the main reason I stay too is because I know he is depressed (tried to get him help but he never "gets around to it") and feel me leaving him would be IT for him.
> 
> WOW this is a WHOLE DIFFERENT TOPIC NOW. :scratchhead:


Refuses to go to marriage counseling? Drop divorce papers in his lap- that will wake him up real quick.

You cant just hide from this situation. Why would you want to hide anways? Hiding only prolongs an unhappy situation and often makes it worse. If you want to rebuild your marriage and have the two of you happy again, you need to bring calamity to his doorstep so he takes your suggestions seriously.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Hang around for a good while you will get good advice about becoming a balanced healthy person able to approach your H from a place of empowerment instead of weakness. All you really want him to do is partner with you on the best "y'all that y'all can be" right? Sometimes that starts with being the best YOU that you can be


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

fannypack said:


> H has thought about other women before. I caught him and his buddies talking about wanting to mess with other women. Almost every time we argue, he brings up that hes not in love with me, stays because its easier BUT enjoys doing things as a family.
> 
> Maybe hearing this so much made me want to stray?


Possibly, but it still doesn't make it right, as you know.

Imagine how you'd feel if you cheated...you'd feel ashamed, sick to your stomach and like you let yourself down. You'd joint *that* club, and it would hang over you for the rest of your life. You WOULD wish you'd taken a different route.

Your marriage isn't great at the moment, I get it. It may be a rough patch that all marriages go through, or it may be more and may lead to divorce. The outcome is still unknown at this point.

What is known, is that cheating would cause a whole lot more problems than it would fix. Time for both you and your husband to lay out all the cards on the table and decide where to go from here.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening fannypack
It is very normal to be tempted by someone else - especially after some years in marriage. There is the desire for excitement, and if you have had minimal previous experience the "curiosity" about what it would be like, what you would be missing. 

A lot of people do give into that temptation. I think most (but not all) regret it. If your marriage and sex life are good at home, then you would find that you really are not missing anything. 

If your marriage / sex life are bad, then cheating won't help fix things. You are much better off trying to fix the problems at home, or if they can't be fixed, leaving and finding someone who makes you happy.

Honest question - how would you feel if you found out your husband were having an affair? Really picture it and see if it would be OK or not. This depends on the person - I would not be terribly upset if my wife had an affair but I know many people would be.


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## sunvalley (Dec 4, 2011)

First, Fanny, kudos to you for being mature and going no contact! I know that can be very hard — especially when things aren't great at home.



fannypack said:


> I know in my heart that he's never physically or emotionally cheated. I know he has a wondering eye. He says he's a man and that's what man naturally do...I sometimes feel the same way he does as far as staying together. It's easier for us to stay together. For our daughter and everything we own together. When were not arguing, we get along and enjoy each others company. I've asked him to go to marriage counseling but he refuses. I love him and do not wish anything bad on him.
> 
> One of the main reason I stay too is because I know he is depressed (tried to get him help but he never "gets around to it") and feel me leaving him would be IT for him.


It sounds like you both have issues to work on in this marriage. If he's unable or unwilling to do so, you'll need to do some serious thinking about whether this is what you want for the rest of your life.

However, as the other posters have said, *do not stray*. I know it's hard not to think of what else is out there right now. But the mature way (as you have done) is the only way to go. Keep your dignity and integrity intact.

P.S. You are not responsible for your husband's mental health. Yes, you are his wife, helpmeet and support ... but if he's depressed, HE has to work on that himself.


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

Can I give you a very perverse reason NOT to cheat? 

My ex-wife had very valid complaints about my behavior. Rather than lay her cards on the table (fix them or else, counseling or else) she went the cheating route. So when it all came to a head, it was very easy for me to get over her -- because I didn't DESERVE to be cheated on (no one does). I did DESERVE the divorce. 

I am sure if she had just left me I would be in much worse shape. So she did me a favor by cheating and letting me burn that mental bridge. Now on her side, she's now a cheater and will always know she's a cheater. Maybe there's karma, maybe not. 

So I hope that you stay the straight and narrow path -- maybe you are on your way to divorce, but it will be a lot easier for you if you do it on the up and up. Good luck, and congratulations on walking away from temptation.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Player 101.
Step 1. Talk to her and make her feel excited/ interesting.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

fannypack said:


> I love my husband. we been together for 10 years now. we married at a very young age at 18 and have one daughter together. we both never got to "experiment" and enjoy the single life. lately, hes been depressed and stress, which stresses me out too. I try to support him in any way I can to make him happy but it drains me out too.
> 
> I recently met a guy. just small talk here and there. but he seems to have everything going for him. good looking, great personality, good job.
> 
> ...


Serious answer.

Ask your husband. He is the one that matters in this.


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## Garrett (Sep 6, 2014)

Cheating is so wrong on so many angles! Cheating is selfish and disrespectful!

If you want to have sex with someone else, then you do NOT love your spouse or respect them! You should at least give the the courtesy of a divorce before you do something so horrible to them!!


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## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

weightlifter said:


> Player 101.
> Step 1. Talk to her and make her feel excited/ interesting.


Spot on, WL.

Step 2 You understand her far more than her H. Her H isn't worthy....


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

lonelyhusband321 said:


> Spot on, WL.
> 
> Step 2 You understand her far more than her H. Her H isn't worthy....


Ha ha ha and married women like this are low hanging fruit!

The have been incubating in a petri dish of wanna cheat medium and have been out of circulation for some time.

Ripe and easy to discard!
.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

And then there is the 80/20 rule.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Wcd2haXsCPk


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

lonelyhusband321 said:


> Spot on, WL.
> 
> Step 2 You understand her far more than her H. Her H isn't worthy....


"My husband never helps around the house or with the kids."
"Tell me about it. My wife was sleeping in while I took the kids to the park. After doing the dishes I didn't have time to even do a short ride on my Harley."


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

^^^^

The above makes me realize just how dangerous many of us here would be if we turned to the dark side.

Holy crap I could be EVIL.

No I wont but yikes what I know.


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