# Husband not willing to look for a job.....



## sooda (Mar 16, 2011)

My husband was in the sub prime mortgage industry and at one point made a 6 figure income. In 2006, we made an agreement....our family could not survive on $28000 a year and he would have to find another job if things did not work out. I got pregnant in May 2007-hubby still making $28000 a year. Again, we both agreed he had 9 months to look for another job. Hubby did not look for a job-we had several conversations. Time was running out and our financial demise began. In Jan 2008-hubby decided to begin a business in the mortgage industry. We just had our son in Jan 2008. He was not making any money-he withdrew all of his 401k money-$20,000 -just to pay bills. Our credit card was used to buy diapers, formula, etc, our credit card increased by $11,000. His philosophy-bills will always be there, people will not. I handle the finances and went to him several times-you need to find another job. He did nothing. I prepared his resume, I went to career fairs on his behalf, applied for jobs online. He finally got a job in September 2008 working at a car dealership 70 hours a week. I was at home alone with a new baby and a 7 yr old. He was promised a $48000 income, within 4 months it decreased to$34000. While at the car dealership-he cheated on me with a customer. He did not want to pay attention to the bills....I was not allowed to discuss with him. He went back into the mortgage industry in Feb 2010. Again, we agreed if the money was not coming in, he would have to leave. Well....no money came in and we had to use our $8000 first time homebuyer credit to pay bills. By this time, all of our retirement assets were gone...had to use for bills. I told him several times, I will never expect him to make a 6 figure income again, just get a regular paying job-a salary-mortgage jobs are commission only. He changed companies-still mortgage, still commission only in October 2010-he told me to give him 60 days if no money comes in he promised to find a salary job. Our financial situation was horrible and I had to do something. I met with an attorney in Decemeber 2010 and started bankruptcy proceedings. I could no longer watch our family suffer due to husband's unwillingness to look for a SALARY job. We are still in bankruptcy proceedings, it has been more than 60 days and hubby is not looking for a job, not preparing his resume. Not even looking for a part time job at Home Depot. I made the decision to no longer be his secretary and I no longer look for jobs on monster or career builder. I can no longer control him. I can only take care of myself and our children. AM I WRONG FOR FEELING THIS WAY? Hubby always tells me, give me 6 months, give me a year, give me 60 days and things will get better. GOD will see us through. Unfortunately, GOD does not pay the bills.


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## ravenmad3 (Apr 24, 2011)

Your husband works, just not making what you want him to..Maybe you could help out by getting some kind of job that help buy diapers, food or whatever. Im sure any amount of money is gonna be less than what you're wanting. Im sure he feels alot of pressure on his part. I hope that some budget planning will be applied to the equasion. Can't live a millionaires life if you dont have the millions. But we can go in debt pretending though!!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Where is there a question in there? Are you justified in not wanting to be poor? Uh, yeah.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

The only thing I think you can do is get financially stable yourself. Get a job. (Sucks having to put the kids in care, but sometimes things are out of your control.) Keep your money away from him. Get independent. Then give him a serious ultimatum.

You mention the affair in an offhanded way. Did you ever deal with it? Does he care? Are you basically just an appendage to him? Not sure what you want this guy for...


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