# Asexuality



## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I’ve seen quite a few posts from spouses who don’t get any/enough sex from their partners and they wonder why. Maybe asexuality is the reason.

Asexuality - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Asexual Visibility and Education Network
Urban Dictionary: asexual
I'm Asexual (and Why It's Not That Bad Not to Want Sex) - Lemondrop.com
First Person: 'We're married, we just don't have sex' | Life and style | The Guardian
No sex please: An asexual life - Features - Health & Families - The Independent
Study: One in 100 adults asexual - CNN


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

If my foresight skills are as good as my nunchuk skills, a lot of guys reading this are going to swarm the board with "Help, my wifes asexuality is ruining our marriage" threads.

Way to go, AFEH.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

^^ :rofl:

Right?

I don't think it's asexuality. I think it's many reasons...specific for each woman. lol. And a lot of the time, by reading the way the man writes, I can bet it has a lot to do with him.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

I don't know that people all of a sudden become Asexual. I think its something they have always had, something that was always there to begin with. 

People who are not interested in sex who once were, usually have not only cut their spouse off but themselves as well as a protective measure from past hurt. I'm not saying its right or wrong, but more than likely why.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Jamison said:


> I don't know that people all of a sudden become Asexual. I think its something they have always had, something that was always there to begin with.
> 
> People who are not interested in sex who once were, usually have not only cut their spouse off but themselves as well as a protective measure from past hurt. I'm not saying its right or wrong, but more than likely why.


From my personal experience they’re born that way. Asexual men just don’t think about sex whereas a heterosexual men has it more or less on the brain. It’s strange in that women feel exceedingly safe and comfortable in the company of an asexual man. But when they want to take the relationship further, when they are ready to go, the asexual man just isn’t interested and it confuses and hurts the woman like she’s been rejected.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

that_girl said:


> ^^ :rofl:
> 
> Right?
> 
> I don't think it's asexuality. I think it's many reasons...specific for each woman. lol. And a lot of the time, by reading the way the man writes, I can bet it has a lot to do with him.


You are way off base. In that I was referring to asexual men but it affects women as well.

And if your snarky comment was targeted at me I’m 62 and there’s only a few weeks in my life that have gone by without sex and that was when our sons were born. I doubt there’s a luckier or more blessed man alive than me as far as sex is concerned in that my wife never ever denied me. I could write a book on sex in a long term marriage.

Both of us did keep ourselves in shape and never ever got fat. For us it was what healthy living was all about, the measure of it and one of it’s reflections was a very long and very healthy sex life. Each of us did it for ourselves to great benefit to the other and our marriage.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Why so defensive? I said 'the man'. I didn't say YOU. "the man" meaning some that are writing at the time. So back off, thanks 

And I wasn't "way off base". i was replying to Sockpuppet's quote about men coming here about their wives' asexuality.

But i wasn't attacking YOU, so there was no need in the story of your sexlife.


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## rotor (Aug 28, 2010)

that_girl said:


> ^^ :rofl:
> 
> Right?
> 
> I don't think it's asexuality. I think it's many reasons...specific for each woman. lol. And a lot of the time, by reading the way the man writes, I can bet it has a lot to do with him.


Or perhaps a lot of women simply friend zone their husbands once the butterflies and newness wears off.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

rotor said:


> Or perhaps a lot of women simply friend zone their husbands once the butterflies and newness wears off.


I can see this happening. I just don't get it! I honestly cannot understand women who do this.

I just meant that from this forum, sometimes I read things that men write about their wives not wanting to have sex with them and it kinda makes sense. Not ALL THE MEN ON THIS SITE...but some.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Why so defensive? I said 'the man'. I didn't say YOU. "the man" meaning some that are writing at the time. So back off, thanks
> 
> And I wasn't "way off base". i was replying to Sockpuppet's quote about men coming here about their wives' asexuality.
> 
> But i wasn't attacking YOU, so there was no need in the story of your sexlife.


:rofl: I'll put whatever story I want into it.

Asexuality is real. Just because you don't believe it, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

It is deeply disturbing for a man who does not have any sex drive at all and it affects the whole of their life. Believe me I know.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh I believe it exists.

But I was just replying to Sockpuppet...not your initial post AT ALL.

And keep rockin' it at 62. My dad passed at 62 but when cleaning out his drawers we found a HUGE box of condoms. Go, dad! lolllll


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

AFEH said:


> I’m 62 and there’s only a few weeks in my life that have gone by without sex and that was when our sons were born. I doubt there’s a luckier or more blessed man alive than me as far as sex is concerned in that my wife never ever denied me. I could write a book on sex in a long term marriage.


I wish you would consider doing some posts from a man's perspective in a long-term marriage. I was just out reading Threetimesalady's thread in the Long Term Marriage sub-forum. It was both informative and inspirational, and it gave me great hope that there can be a fantastic sex life after menopause and later in life.

I would love to see and learn about a man's point of view on all of the changes that he and his wife went through, and his unique perspective on it, as they went through those various phases of their lives.

You have a lot of knowledge and wisdom that those of us, whether just starting out, or mid-way through our married lives, could benefit from.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

SockPuppet said:


> If my foresight skills are as good as my nunchuk skills, a lot of guys reading this are going to swarm the board with "Help, my wifes asexuality is ruining our marriage" threads.
> 
> Way to go, AFEH.


A man who isn’t getting sex from his wife should leave no stone unturned!


I was so blessed with my wife who never said no. But I really do believe that’s as much to do with my wife as what it was to do with me. The way women and guys here in TAM struggle with the most basic of things, sex in marriage, is way beyond my understanding. I don’t reckon I’d tolerate it.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Enchantment said:


> I wish you would consider doing some posts from a man's perspective in a long-term marriage. I was just out reading Threetimesalady's thread in the Long Term Marriage sub-forum. It was both informative and inspirational, and it gave me great hope that there can be a fantastic sex life after menopause and later in life.
> 
> I would love to see and learn about a man's point of view on all of the changes that he and his wife went through, and his unique perspective on it, as they went through those various phases of their lives.
> 
> You have a lot of knowledge and wisdom that those of us, whether just starting out, or mid-way through our married lives, could benefit from.


I have been thinking about doing it and because it’s you who’s asking I may well go ahead and do it, I do like your posts very much.

But meanwhile. It really does take two to tango. My sex life was only ever as successful as my wife wanted it to be. She wanted me satisfied and she succeeded. I know that. While I’m thinking things through you may want to delve into Tracy Cox Tracey Cox - Welcome to traceycox.com. I haven’t been through her website but a while back I bought her book Supersex. Don’t be mislead by the title, she really does know what is what.


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