# Fixing the roof - question for the men



## I'll make tea (Oct 11, 2013)

I have a question for the gentlemen... but only for those of you who are not roofers by trade.

If you wanted to fix the roof and your wife was opposed to it + tried to talk you out of it because she thought it was too dangerous if you are not a trained roofer + you might been unable to do it... would you feel patronized?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I guess it may depend. Are we talking the entire roof? Huge job for one guy, especially one who doesn't do it for a living. 

What's the pitch of the roof? What's the height? (i.e., broken leg vs. certain death).

Any complications, like weird angles?

I've done small roofs (sheds and the like) with a buddy or two. I might feel a little put out if my wife told me I wasn't up for it.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

DW never questions if I'm capable of any project I decide do. 

She only questions the length of time I say it will take. 




BTW, I don't climb up ladders any more. I leave that for the younger fellas.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Explain what is wrong with the roof? If you have leak an it is not associated with one of the vents, it is indicative of a larger issue and would be more practical to hire professional roofers. Roofs after all do have a limited life span (albeit long). If it is a leak associated with a vent, he can replace the seal if you trust he has sure enough footing to do so.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I've been up on the roof with my hubby to fix a small problem, and i'd have no problem if he did that by himself. but if he thought he was going to do a whole roof by himself I'd certainly have something to say.

Are you afraid he's going to fall off the roof? What exactly would he be doing up there?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I wouldn't feel patronized, unless she said it in a way to make me feel patronized. I would say, if she said it to me in a respectful way then there's a 60 percent chance I would do it anyway, but doing it while trying to reassure her. On the other hand, if she said it in a way that was patronizing or disrespectful then there is a 100% chance I'd do it anyway. Possibly waiting for a rainy day to drive my point home. Personally I'm not really big on being told what to do or being limited by someone else's fear. I rock climb for fun and drive a motorcycle.....and many of my facebook pictures are blocked from my wife (and my mother too) because they get a bit freaked out.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I wouldn't feel patronized, unless she said it in a way to make me feel patronized. I would say, if she said it to me in a respectful way then there's a 60 percent chance I would do it anyway, but doing it while trying to reassure her. On the other hand, if she said it in a way that was patronizing or disrespectful then there is a 100% chance I'd do it anyway. Possibly waiting for a rainy day to drive my point home.


Here where I live roof repairs have to be inspected to keep insurance current. If he knows what he is doing then ok, but if not he will be throwing good money away. If he is talking about doing the whole roof he had better have a bunch of reliable friends who know what they are doing. I roofed my 20X20 music building and thought I was going to die before I finished, but it was August in south Texas.


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## MysticSoul (Mar 3, 2014)

I've sent DH up to roof to fix minor things (re-caulking vents, etc). BUT I would question his proficiency in anything more than that - like replacing tiles, etc. IDK how to replace tiles, and DH is more of a "instruction manual? What instruction manual? I don't need no instruction manual!" type, so my concern would be over him a)wasting his time b) damaging something, or c) making it worse. 

I'd rather pay someone to come fix it.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

I'll make tea said:


> I have a question for the gentlemen... but only for those of you who are not roofers by trade.
> 
> If you wanted to fix the roof and your wife was opposed to it + tried to talk you out of it because she thought it was too dangerous if you are not a trained roofer + you might been unable to do it... would you feel patronized?


Dunno.

My wife always knows that I can always do what I set out to do.

And I'm Mr beta boy.

This was my neighbours roof, who was allegedly a pro builder.

The second pic is of my roof. Despite my confidence I had an "oh sh1t" moment when I had stripped all the old tiles off and I was standing amongst the bare bones of my roof, rotting and twisted timbers everywhere. I did my research, took advice and tackled everything logically.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

What the heck kind of roof is that, wysh? It looks like clay tiles.

I guess another question for the OP would be, what is your roof made out of?


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> What the heck kind of roof is that, wysh? It looks like clay tiles.
> 
> I guess another question for the OP would be, what is your roof made out of?


Yes, pan tiles, or clay tiles. It's the traditional roof covering for old cottages where I live.

I used the Olympus range as they seemed closest to what was there originally. You are not allowed to change the appearance of your house without permission here.

Sandtoft Roof Tiles - Product - Olympus


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

I'll make tea said:


> I have a question for the gentlemen... but only for those of you who are not roofers by trade.
> 
> If you wanted to fix the roof and your wife was opposed to it + tried to talk you out of it because she thought it was too dangerous if you are not a trained roofer + you might been unable to do it... would you feel patronized?


I think you're on the wrong webiste!:scratchhead:


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Nice job Wysh!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

itskaren said:


> I think you're on the wrong webiste!:scratchhead:


Why would you say that? I'm just curious as it seemed like a legitimate question regarding male/female relations and insight into how a man would take this kind of feedback from his wife.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

I'll make tea said:


> I have a question for the gentlemen... but only for those of you who are not roofers by trade.
> 
> If you wanted to fix the roof and your wife was opposed to it + tried to talk you out of it because she thought it was too dangerous if you are not a trained roofer + you might been unable to do it... would you feel patronized?


Re-roofing the house?

At 30, I would have ignored her and gotten the job done. At 60, I would have to admit that she is right. I don't have the balance anymore. 

I wouldn't use the word, "Patronize" for either scenario because she's coming from a standpoint of female concern, not perceived superiority.

It took a four man crew of 20-somethings a solid week to do our roof.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Yes when I did mine I would have been early fifties. I took two weeks off work during the longest days of the year and hit it from early morning to late evening. Fell into bed and up at the crack of dawn to start again.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I'll make tea said:


> I have a question for the gentlemen... but only for those of you who are not roofers by trade.
> 
> If you wanted to fix the roof and your wife was opposed to it + tried to talk you out of it because she thought it was too dangerous if you are not a trained roofer + you might been unable to do it... would you feel patronized?



I never do an upgrade or repair unless I have enough experiences to do the job. Otherwise, I always hire an experienced professional and if possible, take some time off work to assist them, so I'm always learning.


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## I'll make tea (Oct 11, 2013)

Thanks for so many answers. The house we live in has an one-storied annex covered with roofing felt paper. The problem: water has been leaking in for a while.

My husband wanted to replace the felt... together with a friend non of them is a roofer. We had an "argument" but they did anyway.

According to hubby roofing felt is not a good roofing material. It should serve just as water protection and in a second step he wants to put something different over it.

The house is not ours (yet?), we have rented it from a guy we know but pay a reduced rent because we do all of the repairs.

I am afraid that hubby will either fell off or the roof will break under him.

Other people with whom I talked about this said / wrote (I talked to some people online) that it was just horrible I wanted to stop him from doing the roof. Some people make you feel like your are the worst wife in the world.

I do not want to hurt hubbies feelings but I like him in one part.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I'll make tea said:


> Thanks for so many answers. The house we live in has an one-storied annex covered with roofing felt paper. The problem: water has been leaking in for a while.
> 
> My husband wanted to replace the felt... together with a friend non of them is a roofer. We had an "argument" but they did anyway.
> 
> ...


OP,

You were primarily concerned for your husband’s safety and welfare which does you credit but I would suggest that with a little preparation replacing a felt roof is a job that a competent DIYer (regardless of gender) could do safely.


You husband took the sensible option of getting a friend to help him and that does make for quicker and more efficient job.

There are some jobs around the house that should not / cannot be done by unqualified people (gas works) for legal or insurance reasons and some that require a level of skill / experience that most lack (I cannot plaster a wall) but for most jobs if you read up on the building codes for your area and get good advice it is possible to save a fortune if you are fit and able to do jobs yourself.

There have been jobs that I have done where my wife has been concerned about my ability to complete them safely / to the required standard / in the time frame / on budget but she has learned that if I set my mind to a job it will get done (yes the budget / time frame can slip but you allow 10% extra on both).

As long as you are open and honest with you husband about your concerns I do not think he would get too upset by them.

N.B. single layer felt is not IMHO a good pick to roof a house, multi layered hot laid felt or overlapping shingle are more expensive but last longer / do a better job without too much increase in weight. Clay or slate tiles will last decades but would require new stronger rafters (and depending on the construction method of the house the walls may not be able to take the weight.)


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Considering that you don't even own the house, I have to take your side here. He should have contacted the landlord about the roof leak - that isn't something a DIYer should tackle on someone elses property. Did you talk to the landlord? Was he given the chance to repair it him/herself?

As for the safety aspect, it's only one storey off the ground, and he was doing it with someone else. Is it very steep? That would be my only concern. If so did they harness themselves at all?


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Hope1964 said:


> Considering that you don't even own the house, I have to take your side here. He should have contacted the landlord about the roof leak - that isn't something a DIYer should tackle on someone elses property. Did you talk to the landlord? Was he given the chance to repair it him/herself?



The OP said that they are paying a reduced rent to take care of improvements / maintenance themselves. I think she also hinted that they would like to buy the property from the owner in the future.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Op. I don't know what the laws are like over there. Just make sure that the legal side of things are tied down.

I know a couple who were renting a place where the kitchen was a mess and the back garden was a jungle.

They tamed the garden and turned it into a lovely family area and completely rebuilt the kitchen.

The landlord looked in, contacted the rent tribunal people and they put the rent up as the place was much nicer.

Apparently there was nothing they could do about it as they had made no prior agreement with the landlord.
Apparently they couldn't even rip out what they had done.


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## I'll make tea (Oct 11, 2013)

Thanks for your advice, guys.

We have not made up our minds yet on if we want to buy the house. Unfortunately it is not up to todays standards. The isolation is not good, the windows are just single layer glass. It has an oil central heating but that is so ineffective, that we operate a masonry heater, which is romantic but much work.

Another problem is the floor which has been covered with asbestos vinyl tiles in some rooms.

We think that lead paint has been used to paint the doors.

And there is the annex with the problematic roof. I have been told that flat roofs nearly always cause trouble.

The landlord says he will seel the house for a good price if we consider buying it but I am afraid that fixing it will cost a lot of money and energy.

We considered a few houses and unfortunately all of them seemed to be either expensive or not up to todays standards. 



> single layer felt is not IMHO a good pick to roof a house, multi layered hot laid felt or overlapping shingle are more expensive but last longer / do a better job without too much increase in weight.


My husband feels the same about felt, he just used that as water protection and meanwhile is figuring out what else to use in a second step to have a higher quality roof.

The roof has been covered with a single layer of felt before but water has been leaking in.


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

I am not a roofer but I am a contractor who is on many roofs, ladders etc. and here is my advice.

If you are handy, somewhat in shape and fairly good on your feet then give it a try if the pitch isn't too bad, just make sure the ladder is set up well. Most accidents come from bad ladder setup, falling off the ladder or the ladder kicking out on you not from falling off the roof. The worst is transferring from the ladder to the roof and then back on the ladder, someone to brace the ladder while you are on it is a good idea.

One thing though if you are nervous or a bit fearful then stay off the ladder unsteadiness can lead to a fall (I know many homeowners who have tried and fell or had a close call) think like this is a broken arm, leg, back and several weeks/months off work worth a few hundred dollars it might cost for repairs?

Finally it isn't patronizing it is concern for your well being that and she doesn't want to have to wipe your A$$ if you fall and hurt yourself.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

The fact it's a flat roof makes a huge difference. We have a flat roof over our garage and most residential roofing companies won't even touch it. We have to get a company that does flat roofs specifically. It has to be sealed a certain way and all kinds of stuff.

The reason I said ask the landlord is because fixing a roof isn't just an everyday repair. If the landlord wants you to try and fix it yourselves you should get that in writing, because if you screw something up and it results in damage, he could sue you for the damage.


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## c2500 (Aug 17, 2011)

Hello....

Could you please clarify what country in which you are living? If you are in the USA, there are rules regarding lead paint. There are building codes, etc...in most places. Tar paper is not intended to be a roofing material, it is an underlayment...aka a secondary protection. I am a Licensed Home Builder in my state.

Thanks,

c2500


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## I'll make tea (Oct 11, 2013)

We do not live in the USA. I have been told that the lead paint itself is not the problem unless it starts to chip... but it is dangerous to remove it. One should not inhale the dust. Would you agree?

We are not sure if it really is lead paint but think so because it is older and lead paint was the most popular paint used when the doors were painted. Could we just paint it over so that it is sealed?

The roof was covered with felt before... did not work very well... anyway it is not worse than it used to be now. My husband just used that as water protection and wants to work more on the roof later. 

@ Hope: I have been told flat roofs are nearly always problematic *sigh*


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

*Re: Re: Fixing the roof - question for the men*



I'll make tea said:


> We do not live in the USA. I have been told that the lead paint itself is not the problem unless it starts to chip... but it is dangerous to remove it. One should not inhale the dust. Would you agree?
> 
> We are not sure if it really is lead paint but think so because it is older and lead paint was the most popular paint used when the doors were painted. Could we just paint it over so that it is sealed?
> 
> ...


Get a lead paint test kit.

Don't remove lead paint without a full understanding of the safety requirements (dust collection, respirator, etc.)

If it is solid you may be able to just paint over it as has been done in many homes. Check the rules where you live. 

The newer flat rubber membrane roofs do pretty well but can get expensive.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

My last house had a small (12x12) "hot roof". Flat with a membrane and pea gravel on top. I guess it improves the evaporation rate of standing water? I hated that thing. What I should have done was build a pitched roof on top of it.


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