# SURVEY: Married people only please.



## loveandmarriage

*If children was not a factor:

If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


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## Amplexor

Absolutely, no doubt about it. If I knew what I know now I’d have done a better job of listening to my wife and giving her more attention the last few years.


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## Farfignewton

That's a tough one. He has hurt me so much, but then again we have had some of the most wonderful times of my life. I have never been happier than I have sharing a life with this man. Hmmm. I think I may have taken things a little slower and not jumped in so quick. Overall, yes, I would do it again. No one is perfect and I have dealt with worse men. lol. So, I am happy with my lot in life.


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## swedish

Absolutely. We are very compatible, but needed and have made tremendous growth in communicating with one another. That alone has transformed our marriage into a great marriage.


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## AZMOMOFTWO

Yes, although ask me two weeks ago the answer would have been no. Despite what he has put me through, I'd have to say yes. Although I wish I knew what it will be like in the future as I'm not entirely sure I want to continue. Still hurting and don't want to be hurt again, so if I know now it won't work out, I'd end it tomorrow.


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## justean

well i cant take the past back- 
so no i dont regret getin married.
even the first marriage that was violent and emotionally abusive.
if i had not gone through what i had gone through, then i wouldnt be who i am today.
as for the second and this is the last ever time i marry.
no i dont regret it either (im stil learning)


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## blind

Even though I'm now faced with divorce the answer is a resounding YES, I'd do it over and over again. And if I knew then what I know now, I believe our marriage would still be loving and happy. Hindsight really can be 20/20. I just pray I don't make the same mistakes if I'm blessed with another beautiful and wonderful women like my wife.


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## Blanca

If i had of been asked this question a month ago i would have said no, but honestly i can say yes i would still have gotten married. i feel like im a much better person now and have learned a lot about myself and what it means to love someone.


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## brad

For sure. I have learned to look beyond myself. I dont always get my own way which is a good thing. I realize all my previous relationships were pretty superficial compared to marriage.


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## voivod

yes. i have learned so much, i have been blessed, i found out what true love is. i have got to spend time with the greatest woman on earth.


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## michzz

No way, no how!


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## Whammy66

I can't imagine my life without my husband. Even though we have only been married for 2.5 yrs I know that he is the one for me.


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## lisakifttherapy

Absolutely. It's not to say it has been perfect but we are very well matched in the most important ways. 

Great question to throw out.

:smthumbup:


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## brismiley

Sadly no I would never have married. The first marriage was a disaster and it looks like this one is heading that way fast


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## draconis

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


With my wife, heck yeah! 

draconis


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## TheLuckiest08

My husband and I have only been married a few months, but we've been together/lived together 8.5 years.

I would absolutely do it all over again, only I'd treat him better than I did in the past.

It's amazing how much marriage teaches you about yourself and helps you to be a better person if you're doing it right!


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## ub69me

Honestly if i knew what i do know i would of left 15 years ago 
way to hurt and i would not be going through what i am now


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## sweetp101

Knowing what I know today, absolutely not. No way no how.....


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## samantharose

well, probably not. I doubt he would have proposed to me either.
We actually broke up before we found out we were pregnant. I remember a sense of relief. Then after finding out about the little one, I was scared. He was happy and I thought, gee, he really wants this. He looked differently to me and we got back together. Things were a rollercoaster and have been ever since.
But we are married now, we have grown to love each other and tolerate each other, but we are so different. Not in a good way I don't think. 
But ask me in 2 weeks and I may be like 1/2 the other people here and say "heck yes, I'd do it again." 
I'm a woman, I can change my mind right?


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## GAsoccerman

well Love my life and my wife and children, love it all.

Part of me would just LOVE to be a Bartender on a tropical Island somewhere without a care in the world.


so it's a draw :smthumbup:


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## Triton

I would have gotten married to the same person

BUT,BUT
when I was so old -I would not care what was going on around me.Everything would be - WHATEVER .


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## roxiehart

That is a tough one to answer. I already had a 7 year old and was pregnant when i got married. I would have to say yes, but I would of done things a different way. I am still married at this current time but I can say divorce is possibly in the future.


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## tnt20years

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


I believe so....I was very young when we got married....I wish I would have waited a little longer, but if I had, he might not have waited for me. He was the only man for me and still is after 20 years. I wish I could see his answer to this question. I think when I go home tonight I am going to ask him. I like the song by Shania Twain "You're Still The One"!!! The words are beautiful and hit home with me: 

(When I first saw you, I saw love. 
And the first time you touched me, I felt love. 
And after all this time, you're still the one I love.) 
Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday 

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong 

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night 

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin' 

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong 

I'm so glad we've made it
Look how far we've come, my baby.


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## Leahdorus

A resounding YES. Today is our 10th anniversary and sadly life is not what I had hoped for at this point, but I would definitely still marry him if I had it to do over. And as others have said, hindsight is 20/20 and there are so many things I'm aware of now that I would do differently to make a happier and more communicative relationship. I love my husband deeply and always have.


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## ash192008

honestly? probably not....I would have waited and done things for my self first before we got married...I dropped out of high school because I wanted our marriage to work but I regret it, I wish I would have just finished and also waited to get married because our marriage has been full of ups and downs but mostly downs....and it just gets old.


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## worriedhusband

No way.


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## AZTroop

This is a no for me... we are not right for each other. I would love to be married and happy, but this is not it.


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## Lady003

i think we would've still got married, but with a child not being a factor i think we would've had more time to devote to each other and build a stronger foundation so that when a child did come into play we'd be stronger as a couple and not still learning each other.


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## ztc

I believe that i would still have gotten married. We may have been thru some really hard times but we are soul mates. I would do my best however to try and avoid the mistakes that were made.


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## Farfignewton

I've changed my mind since I last posted on this thread. I wish that I had not gotten married either time. I will never get married again. I'm happier single. Marriage is just too investment for very little reciprocation. If this was a business relationship then I would have gone bankrupt both times.


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## snix11

I would have, he wouldn't. Kids are his life, my life revolves around my mate then my kids. 

Different viewpoints.


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## happilymarried67

Yes, without a doubt in my mind.


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## sam_dunbar

My wife asked me this same question this past Sunday after she read an article in the weekly Parade newspaper insert. The article was a survey of marriage in America.

I told her knowing what I know now, I would still have married her. However, if I had to do it all over again the one thing that I would change is that while I was still single I would have developed better money managing skills (budgeting, planning for future expenses, etc.) . That way, starting out our married life we would both have a more aligned financial goals and values. It would have avoided a lot of stress and finger pointing.


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## ilovetexas

some days yes some days no
makes me think of the garth brooks song the dance


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## CAgirl

no.


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## richardwagner

no


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## COGypsy

Not even a little bit.


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## yogachick

I probably wouldn't have gotten married because I would have been too scared BUT I do not regret our marriage. I love this crazy man with all my heart and soul. I just wish someone would have helped or spoken up with the bipolar thing. Mental illness needs to be out of the closet, there shouldn't be stigma or shame and then we would all have healthier families.


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## CH

Yes, couldn't have found the perfect wife for me. Although at times I do wish I had temporary loss of hearing


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## puffs31

Yesterday I didn't think my marriage was going to make it, but today I can say, yes, I'd marry my husband all over again. He's taught me a lot about loving myself for who I am because that's what he does for me. Hes my bestfriend, the person I want to tell everything to and my life just wouldn't be the right w/o him.


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## MyDog8em

It's definately been a learning experience. This is my 1st marriage and I have no regrets. I married a wonderful woman. God forbid should anything happen, I would never get married again tho.


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## sweetp101

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


No way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## countrygirl

Depends on the day. I've said many many times that if we didn't have our daughter, I'd be gone. And I had many chances to leave before I had her. But I never had the guts to actually do it. When I met him, I felt my biological clock ticking very loudly and then I met his family and they loved me and I loved them and I thought it might be my last chance.

I love him and he's a great dad, but I've never felt deep, deep love, at least not the way I hear others describe it, in any relationship really, so I'm not 100% sure I am or was, truly "in love" with him. And we have major communication problems that started early on.

So I definitely would have insisted that we work on that before we got married. And where that would have gone, who knows. But when you have children, you can't live with regrets.


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## chillax

2 months back and definete yes... now its still a yes in very small font


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## Denien

Sadly, the only truthful answer is "yes". I love my husband, but he is not the man that he presented himself to be. Both of us are not as happy as we once were.


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## yogachick

Denien said:


> he is not the man that he presented himself to be.


Boy can I relate to this, I was "hoodwinked" by a controlling guy who became a completely different person once he knew he "had me". It was a shocking dissapointment but I love him anyway <3


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## wilted_flower

No. If I had known my husband was attracted and developing strong feelings of love for another woman (the bridesmaid in our wedding), I never would have said "I Do." 

I would have saved myself for someone with more morals and who treats me better.


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## Nekko

Yes. And if i knew what i know now, maybe i wouldn't have so many problems  in fact, i wish i actually had the chance to do it all over again.


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## Xusan

No. I didn't know he had the potential for such cruelty...Or, maybe I did, and it just hadn't ever been turned towards me. He's working on it and has yet to act this way towards our daughter, so I'm sticking it out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes

No. It took 9 years of hell to get to this point. We have been married for nearly 17. After 9 years we finally "got" each other but at a steep price. We deserved better.


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## cbd2010

This is a really interesting question. On one hand, I'd say yes - we've had some good times, enjoyed each others' company, laughed a lot. However, things have been slowly but surely disintegrating, and now I feel disrespected, disregarded, and passion-less. We don't have children, and I've thought for a long time I didn't want them, but have come to realize that in fact, it's that I don't want them with him. So... while I don't regret the time we've had together, I do find myself wishing things had gone differently.


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## Robrobb

For sure I would. To think of the various ways I might have behaved differently, opportunities that have passed by that I might have grabbed hold of, I don't see how I could not. Even if we get back to this point in time with the same result, I'd do it.


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## dontwanttoloseher

yes


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## RIgirl

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*



Hell no my husband has been awful to me. He literally changed the day we got married. Im 29 and I feel like my life is over. I had so much going for me before I got married, now its all over.


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## pulse

Yes. Despite all the ups and downs over the years and knowing what I know now, I'd even think of renewing my vows.


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## noluxatall

I would not have gotten married AT ALL. There are no fond memories for me... maybe the first year when we were going out but that's about it. I blame myself for just settling. Been married for 5 years now and I have been miserable ever since =(


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## jessi

it's like garth brooks's song " The Dance"
listen to the words it's the same, it's better not to know the out come because if we knew we might not take the chance on it....
I think you learn a lot and love a lot, it's not all good but I think it's still worth the effort and the time spent.....
Life is a learning process and so is marriage, even though it hurts now and again.........


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## 4sure

No I think I would have been better off remaining single, and happier.


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## tj71

For sure! Even though hurt has been caused, we really are one-in-a-million type friends with each other. So even if we had been shown our lives together then asked if we wanted to go through with it, I know our love for each other still would have prevailed.


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## examinerdeby

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*



Absolutely yes. We've been married 29 years and many times things went from bad to horrible but each time they did, at least one of us worked on it. Now, after this many years, I can see that the real secret to a long marriage is going through those hard times and making it through. 

I'm not speaking of severe abuse though, in those cases a person must protect themselves.


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## stuckinboston

No. Hell no. And I certainly wouldn't have turned down my dream job abroad for her.


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## ladtbug81

I would marry my husband again any day. Even on the bad days. I love him. I'm in love with him. He is my best friend. 

But on that note I would lik eto have the chance to do some things differently. I have learned alot about myself and our relationship through quite a few bad times. 

If I could only give one peice of advice, COMMUNICATION is the key to every successful relationship.


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## unhappyin

No way


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## Sadara

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


Yes.

Though if I know what I know now, I would have done what I could for our marriage to avoid the problems we've had and done what I could to keep my husband from having an affair. But, I still would have married him, after all I love him.


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## 101desperation

NO way! The man I am married to lied to me about his finances from Day One and put us in tremondous financial ruin. I was on a retirement path and now I am on a bankruptcy path because of his constant borrowing and overspending. I only stay for my child, but my patience is running thin and I'm considering leaving.


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## EmmyC

No, I would not.


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## lynst

No, I wouldn't have still married him. It didn't take me long to realize that he was going to be a bystander while I did everything in the home and all the child-rearing. We have nothing in common, and I really made a mistake.


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## lynst

ladtbug81 said:


> I would marry my husband again any day. Even on the bad days. I love him. I'm in love with him. He is my best friend.
> 
> But on that note I would lik eto have the chance to do some things differently. I have learned alot about myself and our relationship through quite a few bad times.
> 
> If I could only give one peice of advice, COMMUNICATION is the key to every successful relationship.


I agree with you about communication! And I know this too: LACK of communication is the destruction of any relationship.


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## 23YearWife

Yes, even if our marriage doesn't last another year.


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## Pinky

Even though I'm seriously considering a divorce right now...I would say absolutely I would still marry...only because if I didn't...I wouldn't have my two absolutely wonderful children...bag the rest!!!!


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## MarriedWifeInLove

Definitely yes for me.

Not sure he would say the same thing, which is sad...probably the reason I haven't ever asked him this question, afraid what the answer would be. But, I hope he would say yes also.


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## ankh

Without a doubt. I know if I could turn the clock back, I would make different decisions about work, money, etc., but all these experiences cause me and my wife to grow.


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## imnotthesame11

maybe...not sure...could go either way...


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## pidge70

Dang, this thread is 4yrs old!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tryingtobebetter

Yes.

Though, with the benefit of hindsight, I would be a more loving husband always.

My view of marriage?

You can be unpleasant to each other and be miserable.

You can be nice to each other and be happy.

You can be very nice indeed to each other - make it the most important thing in your life - and then the sun will shine for you always (well, pretty close).


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## 40isthenew20

Uneqiouvicely yes. My wife is my soul mate and a perfect person to spend the rest of my life with. It's been over 17 years and I have never regretted it. In good times and bad.


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## Trying2figureitout

Yes at the drop of a hat... even with my sexless marriage.


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## cndrwil

I am in the process of a separation, and yes I would marry my wife again. Would i be more upfront? YES! and I am sure she would be too. But yes I would marry my wife again in a heart beat.


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## SimplyAmorous

> *Loveandmarraige said:* If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?





40isthenew20 said:


> Uneqiouvicely yes. My wife is my soul mate and a perfect person to spend the rest of my life with. It's been over 17 years and I have never regretted it. In good times and bad.


THIS is how I feel about my husband, and I know he feels the same about me.... We feel we are near perfectly matched.. we'd do it all again in a







beat - our bad times was all about trying to conceive those wonderful children.... 

I do feel our life would be somewhat uneventful without them in it, we are the type who was born to be parents, love the chaos of a big family. It's just part of who we are. I don't think I could live a secondlife time & find a love like we share.... We're very compatible. Sure we have little spats once in a while too, but this is normal.


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## 67flh

ain't no way in hell!!!


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## Pandakiss

Yes. Easy answer on good days, but even when I can't stand him, without a doubt. If I could do it all again I would have such foresight. I would communicate so much more. So many things I would do/wouldn't do.


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## rj700

If I had answered yesterday, yes. Tonight, no. And there are more and more nights like tonight and too few yesterdays.


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## Gunthar

Unfortunately the answer would be no!


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## anchorwatch

Wow, really old thread! 

Answer: Yes, yes and unequivocally yes.






How's that for an answer, Baby?


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## YinPrincess

No way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## F-102

Yes I would. My W gives me what no other woman really could, something I treasure above all else...

...peace of mind.


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## Michie

Yes, even though the chances of us lasting another two weeks are slim, and I will be 30 and alone, I would relive our 13 yrs again and again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Monty4321

Ain't No way!! If I knew what I know now I would have ran like hell. She was the single biggest mistake of my life.


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## Pinkme

Yes I would have:smthumbup: He is my rock however I would change one thing and that would be to communicate better from the start.


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## underwater2010

If I had known he was going to cheat....no. But the simple truth is I got 3 beautiful children out of the deal. For that reason I would marry my FWH everytime.


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## romantic_guy

YES, YES, YES!!! Even given the fact that we got married at 16 & 17 because she was pregnant. I would not change a thing. We are perfect for each other. I can't imagine my life without her!


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## uraha

No--and especially not after reading MMSL.

If this one crashes and burns--I'm done.


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## Anonymous07

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


Yes! As rough of a start as we have had, I know I married a man of character and know he is the right one for me. I wouldn't trade him for anyone.


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## CantePe

Nope, wouldn't have if kids were not involved and would have left him the moment I found out about the infidelity too if kids were not involved.


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## sandc

Absolutely yes, no question.


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## tonyarz

First wife, no

Second wife, yes!


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## that_girl

Yup.


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## abandonmentissues

Unfortunately, yes.


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## scione

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


This is a very old thread, but Hell to the NO.


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## Hope1964

Definitely!!! And this time I would know how to head off his cheating


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## sandc

Hope1964 said:


> Definitely!!! And this time I would know how to head off his cheating


That doesn't involve a straight razor and a pickle jar does it?


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## Hope1964

sandc said:


> That doesn't involve a straight razor and a pickle jar does it?


Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.......


















nope


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## BjornFree

Yes, on most days of the week


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## anotherguy

I would do it again.

In fact - would knock down old ladies and cause a scene to do it.


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## Chelle D

If child not a factor, then honestly, probably not.


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## JCD

Yes, even the horrible times (and there were more than I care to think of) have helped me grow and challenge myself. When it's good...well we know how that feels. It's beautiful just having someone come in the door happy to see you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cara

"If you knew what you know now, would you have still gotten married?"

Never in a million years.


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## bubbly girl

Definitely yes. He is my best friend, my biggest supporter and my love. Even with the ups and downs we've had (as all marriages do), he is the one person I want to spend my life with.


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## Tikii

Absolutely.


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## uglykidant

Yes, I would still got married to her but handle things in "slightly" different way.

Now seeing your question, I feel like I should remarry my wife again to have that feeling of fresh start.


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## arbitrator

Had I listened to my initial gut instincts and not have been talked into it, I would have ran, not walked away from marrying my STBXW.

Don't be fooled! Those gut instincts are worth their sheer weight in gold!


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## colotnk

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


Absolutely! And without any hesitation like I once had. My husband was a great boyfriend, but he is an even better husband. I can't imagine being with anyone else.


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## deejov

loveandmarriage said:


> *if children was not a factor:
> 
> if you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


n. F. W.


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## WhatASituation

Not no, but HELL NO!


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## farside

unquestionably


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## Bellavista

Yes, I would marry my husband, but I would have done a lot differently & so, I am sure, would he.


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## Cee Paul

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


My answer would be no; however I do not regret this marriage because the first 3 years were some of thee best times I've ever had in my life before it all went to hell on us.

P.S. and we have no children together either.


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## EleGirl

If I could go back in time, I would not marry. I would probably not marry anyone....


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## jaquen

*To quote Sally Albright*: Oh, God. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, God.


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## Caribbean Man

We have no children,
And the answer is a resounding YES.


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## Cee Paul

What really kills me is that I know that inside my wife there's a special person in there who is sweet, funny, and a lot of fun to be around; but she has buried that person under stress and greed for more money and more power. Her career taking off was the worst thing that could've happened to us and she still insists on being blind to that fact.


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## thesecretaccount

No. But he'd still be my boyfriend. And probably living together.

No wait. I changed my mind. YES.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

My husband now, absolutely! I met the man of my dreams! My best friend. 

I regret marrying my first husband. We married only because I was pregnant. Big mistake!


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## Prodigal

NO.


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## StoneAngel

Interesting! I love him. I am in love with him. We enjoy each others company and we laugh alot, so I would say yes....however.....knowing what I know now I would have reacted very differently to a few situations while we were dating. I believe those simple differences in approach/reaction would have prevented the opportunity from even presenting itself. I don't think I would have been asked the question in the first place.
I would have looked at those circumstances as turning points/forks in the road. I believe he simply would have went one way and I would have went another. Sad really.


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## sharonND

Never.


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## ChargingCharlie

Probably not. We were married in our late 30's, but I was happily single (I only had one serious relationship that lasted about six months). We've had good times, but we have no sex, and she has family members that seem to attact drama and then suck us into it. Also, we see her friends a lot, but if my friends happen to invite us to something, she usually tries to get out of it. 

Also differing issues of religion (although we're not really religious, but she doesn't like the religion that I was raised in), and I fear some issues with raising children. 

At the time, it might have been the right thing to do, but now, I often wonder if I should have stayed single. No money worries, no PITA in-laws. Now that I think about it, I'm probably one of those people that should stay single their entire life. I like to do my own thing, and once you get into your 30's, you're pretty set in your ways.


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## DocHoliday

For the first 20 years, I would do it over again in a heartbeat, since MLC, (his) - I hate to say this, but no.

We married very young, right out of college, we met in high school. I always thought "he is so different than his family".. ya, stupid me.

After 20 wonderful years, we have now lived through 7 years of relationship hell, even on this side of the drama, I know deep down I could have found someome that I was very much more compatable with....as could he.

Once trust is toast..... I don't know HOW some of the couples on her pick up/forgive/forget and move forward. 

I now am rambling, but he (who started the "war") - says he is willing to move forward. Annnnd guess what? the problem, again, is ME. (that I can't get over it.)

I would want a more truthful person, (truthful on even small stuff- because the small stuff adds up to big stuff)--and I thought he was, but it turns out he is not. Not at heart.

I am sure he would like a woman who "includes and appreciates" him more.....


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## Dewayne76

Yes. Plain and simple. With good comes bad, and bad comes good. 

Given enough time, I don't know if there could be a "perfect marriage"
(not saying it doesn't exist, just saying I don't know)

My wife and I were together for almost 11 years. We've both grown up together. I'm 9 years older, but I was just as immature as she was when we got together. 

There's so much love there that I wouldn't know where to begin. We've had rough times, bumps and etc... but the love in between. The woman I know as said earlier, buried under this possible MLC (hers) and all this new "Giddy Friendships" she's gotten, I know she's confused, and I can't blame her. I know I didn't treat her as romantic all the time or didn't always give her affection, but we loved each other. 

Yes. I would definitely do it again. I still would've gotten married. I don't know if I would now, in the future however. We have 1 daughter, 3.


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## ladybird

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


 Absolutely not.


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## dontpanic

Yes, I would.

I regret some of the decisions that I made along the way. We never had kids. I feel like if I had pushed for kids, we would have ended up separated sooner.

For him, I think he regrets ever asking me to marry him. I can remember the good times when we were so in love. He seems to only recall the problems.

We grew up so much together. I still love him so much.


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## betta

No way in hell. If I knew what I know now: no way. If I didn't have children: I would be so gone you wouldn't even see the streak, I'd leave that darned fast.


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## sweaty teddy

yes but I would have alphed up or better yet I wouldn't have let my alpha qualities slide trying to be the good husband.


Lead your family wisely thats what all women want.


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## SpinDaddy

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


Yes. We married in our mid 30’s and I think maturity and prior experiences play a lot into that. Of course there have been times and there was once when I almost cheated but listening to the “other woman” over coffee it dawned on me, even if the sex was bad the rest of my life, it’d be a lot easier just to go home, masturbate and watch TV.

Now throw in children and absolutely yes. That’s really what marriage is – the whole package.


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## Dad&Hubby

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


First wife.....HECK NO!!!

Current Wife. Is there an option for marrying sooner?

I'm truly blessed with my wife. She's an amazing woman.


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## Starstarfish

Yes, but not so soon. 

I think our marriage would have benefited a great deal, if I'd had more of a period of adjustment in moving half way across the country, losing all my friends, etc, and then five months later getting married.


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## AsTheStoryGoes

At other times I have felt very frustrated in my marriage and would probably say no..but with the way things are going lately, and me trying to be optimistic rather than a pessimist (one of my downfalls) I'd say YES. After 5 years of marriage I feel like my husband and I are even closer than we have ever been..why we never realized how big the distance was between us I don't know. But if I had to go through everything to get where I am today, then my answer is yes..definitely yes.


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## Too Blue

NO


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## cub!chy

Yes, in a heartbeat. You get out of a marriage what you put in! I love my wife and she is my HO and I hers, we understand each other at so many levels, we do it all together. I wouldn't change it for the world, 3 kids and 13 years later...


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## ScorchedEarth

No.


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## Wiserforit

Yes.

Hard to believe how wonderful things have been.


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## Goofball

Nope, the only good things are my kids and finally going back to school to be better for my kids. I wonder though if I would have figured out the school thing sooner.


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## firefly789

Probably. 

*It was one of those days when I posted "probably not". I just may edit this again, hopefully to "absolutely yes".


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## KathyBatesel

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


Absotively posilutely.


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## Regga

Yes. Both marriages. Never been in a relationship where I have not been a betrayed partner...but I am stronger.


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## silentghost

No.
I would rather be single than be in a loveless marriage.


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## discouraged1

No I would definitely have found someone else..


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

Absolutely NOT. 

I was codependent and IGNORED red flags, HE is personality-disordered...leaving him was the SMARTEST thing I've ever done! NOW, I'm 'fixing' me!


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## LoveMy2Boys

No.


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## tacoma

No


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## Ikaika

yes, but... I probably should not have married anyone. I am damaged goods. Never been good for my wife and kids. Never been good for myself. Sometimes damaged goods are just beyond repair and need to be thrown away.


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## margeryred

No. There are no children in my life and one of the basic reasons to get married is to procreate. Without children and a husband who is reclusive and not emotionally available it is a lonely existence. NO WAY... If I can ever get him to take me seriously about breaking up and go, I won't ever get married again. No reason (except health insurance)


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## Jadiel

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


That depends. Is all the bad stuff going to happen whether I want it to or not? Or can I take steps to change how the marriage turns out? 

If I can't change anything, but I can go back in time and tell my younger self "Stay the heck away from this girl" I probably would.


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## LoriC

Yes


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## woundedwarrior

My first marriage that lasted 8 years- probably not.
My marriage now- yes, but would have made changes that may have caused us to be apart now.


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## committed4ever

Yes but would have waited 4 or 5 more years to become more mature.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mark72

I would love to be married to the girl I fell in love with and married 8 years ago. I haven't seen her in a long time though.


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## LadyOfTheLake

No. I am not marriage material


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## Regga

Wow Ladyofthelake! That's great you know that about yourself!!! Good for you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## twin

yes. but we both say we would never remarry if we divorced or if one of us dies.


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## somethingelse

Yes. But not for the typical reasons one might think. 

I like that my H pulled me out of dumb teenage stuff like smoking, drugs, drinking. I like how he's made me have to think hard about who I am and I like that he gave me such beautiful, wonderful children.

I don't like how distrustful I am now. 

If I knew that without him I could still be the woman I am today, and not as damaged from cheating, I would seriously reconsider ever marrying him.  and of course I would want my babies too


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## SO_LOST_80

absolutely not. Read my thread about what im dealing with.


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## Surfermiquel

No absolutely not.


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## heartsbeating

In a heartbeat!


If I knew what I know now, I'd have cut out some of my bullsh*t earlier.


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## MegaSquanto

No.

Instead:

I would have regular sex. (Or any other type besides NO sex)
I would get a LOT more work done without the worthless chatter.
I would travel.


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## Cuckcoo

More than likely, no. It's been a lonely, heartbreaking experience for me.


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## jaquen

heartsbeating said:


> In a heartbeat!
> 
> 
> If I knew what I know now, I'd have cut out some of my bullsh*t earlier.


Oh so true! If I knew then, what I know now? I'd have gotten my **** together and done it A LOT sooner.


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## Mark72

In all honesty I was about to start looking for an attorney about a year and a half after we got married. We fought pretty bad - I threw a temper tantrum (and my phone at the wall - broke it) and went to go upstairs to start packing. She called me on the house phone about an hour later and told me she was pregnant. Had she never been pregnant, I can say we wouldn't be married now.


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## SpinDaddy

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


Oh sure, but sans the kiddos I’m not sure where and how’d we’d be today.

Before children we were both independent hard-charging professional types with careers likely to take us both on divergent paths. Children brought us down, made us a team and extracted mutual compromises for the greater good of the family.

For us, the children made the marriage something bigger than just the two of us.


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## jaquen

It actually breaks my heart a little that so many people here are only glued together by their rugrats.


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## Cuckcoo

jaquen said:


> It actually breaks my heart a little that so many people here are only glued together by their rugrats.


It breaks my heart too. Especially because I said "no" like many others. I never thought I would.


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## QuestioningMyMarriage

loveandmarriage said:


> *If children was not a factor:
> 
> If you know what you know now, would you have still gotten married?*


No.

But I would never wish my child away and I'm grateful that I have a wonderful and amazing kid.


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## crazydame

Knowing what i know now...yes i would marry my husband all over again but i would do things very differently, i would take more time with my husband and make things work out better. I would fight the fight at the time and not let things build up, I would speak my mind and keep him closer to me instead of taking for granted that he would always be there and that he would love only me. I would marry him all over again even after all the pain he has caused me. I have never loved another. So my answer is yes but with this knowledge i would do things differently..


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## Itookhimforgranted

Knowing what I know, yes I would marry my husband in a heartbeat but like many I would do a few things differently. One main one, make him my number one priority and learn not to take him for granted. I would try a lot harder to meet his needs and cherish him. Even though we are going through are problems now. I would still marry him with out a second thought he has made my life so much better I really believe he’s my soul mate


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## SouthernMiss

I've been married twice. In my first marriage, I would not ever replicate that mistake. It was a terrible, terrible marriage. I don't regret my children from that marriage though. I would go through that marriage again IF it were the only way I could have my children. But the marriage itself? No.

My current marriage? I would absolutely do it again. I have a peace and a love with my current husband that I've never known with anybody else. We have our moments. We have our difficulties. Life is good but it is not butterflies and lollipops. But it's good. And I wouldn't trade a second of a day that I've known my husband for anything this world has to offer.


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## Anubis

To my first wife? As Emerson Cod would say "Heeeeaaaalll NO".

To the woman I am engaged to right now? I would have sought her out earlier if possible.


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## northernlights

I saw this thread when it was first started and was waiting to answer, hoping things in my marriage would improve and I could answer yes. But, that's not the way things are going, and at least now I can answer with a confident and sure No. I love my kids and am staying married for them, but when I look back at what he's put me through, no way would I sign up for that willingly.


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## Quiet_As_Kept

No .. I heard horror stories about people changing after marriage. He changed in our NOW second year .. and I dont even know him at all


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## waiwera

Hell yes I'd marry him again in a heartbeat.

He's a person i would want as a friend if he wasn't my hubby.


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