# Do I have to?



## Beachman (Mar 19, 2012)

Me and my wife Are separated. Although there are a lot of questions that I need some help on, the first one is do I need to feel obligated to buy a birthday gift? I will get one from our son should that be it? Thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Yes, that is enough.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Yes, that is enough.


Unless his wife is like my stbxw and she goes all bat **** crazy on him because, even though he does something really thoughtful and caring that would make anyone else completely melt, she gets pissed because he does not explicitly say happy birthday...

Sorry for the rant. Lamaga is absolutely right. You should not feel any obligation to get her something. If you want to, that is fine as well.

At this point, I do plan on giving my stbxw something for her birthday because her birthday is very important to her, and part of my personal 180 is to make sure that I recognize important days for people I do not hate.


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Beachman said:


> Me and my wife Are separated. Although there are a lot of questions that I need some help on, the first one is do I need to feel obligated to buy a birthday gift? I will get one from our son should that be it? Thanks
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are separated, you have no obligation to her, only your son. Helping your son get her a gift is more than enough.

If she gets mad at you, let her. Not your problem.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I guess it depends on your relationship with your W. I think my STBXH and I have done our separation really different than others have as we've stayed friends for the most part. Going as far as to celebrate holidays together, got each other gifts for Christmas, birthdays, Mother's Day, and I'm planning on getting him something from the kids for Father's Day. Yeah, I know, it's weird. This all may change in the next month or so, so stay tuned.

I'd say if your friendly and feel like getting her a gift from you, then do it, if not, one from your child is quite appropriate.


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