# Mansplaining



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

In my second marriage, my wife would ask me, "What do you mean?" or say, "I don't understand." very frequently. As our relationship progressed, I found myself trying to be very careful and precise with my words to avoid those quizzical looks and questions.

And then, somehow, that all morphed into "I'm not an idiot you know." "Do you think I'm stupid?" and of course, "You don't have to mansplain everything."

My understanding of mansplaining, almost regardless of context, but particularly in arenas of politics, business, or home improvement and repaire, that a woman lays out an important and salient point. Whereupon a man then effectively says the exact same thing, but feels his point was somehow clearer, or daresay, has more weight or importance.

Curious to know. Do we have a blanket agreed upon definition?

Are there patterns of speech that aren't mansplaining but get labeled as such anyways?

Is mansplaining simply whatever you don't agree with, are upset by, or believe to be disrespectful and unfair?

Please explain to me, mansplaining.

So that I can in turn tell you why what you think is wrong, and what it REALLY is ... (Did I get that right?)


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

To me, mansplaining is when a guy goes on to explain something to women that is really only their opinion, but they’re passing it off as fact.

If my husband or any guy explains something that I truly don’t know or didn’t understand that is based on something other than just opinion, I’m grateful and encourage that.

Of course, sharing of opinions is healthy but it’s the condescending tone of acting like it’s fact, that defines it as mansplaining, to me.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Deejo said:


> In my second marriage, my wife would ask me, "What do you mean?" or say, "I don't understand." very frequently. As our relationship progressed, I found myself trying to be very careful and precise with my words to avoid those quizzical looks and questions.
> 
> And then, somehow, that all morphed into "I'm not an idiot you know." "Do you think I'm stupid?" and of course, "You don't have to mansplain everything."
> 
> ...


You are diving into a no win topic!! 🤣🤣
I'm just going to sit back and watch the potential carnage.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

*Deidre* said:


> To me, mansplaining is when a guy goes on to explain something to women that is really only their opinion, but they’re passing it off as fact.
> 
> If my husband or any guy explains something that I truly don’t know or didn’t understand that is based on something other than just opinion, I’m grateful and encourage that.
> 
> Of course, sharing of opinions is healthy but it’s the condescending tone of acting like it’s fact, that defines it as mansplaining, to me.


Do you have a specific example?

Does he know he's being condescending? Or do you just feel that way. For instance, I never, ever, thought my wife was stupid, nor was I trying to be disrespectful or condescending. But ... she sure felt like that is how I was being.

Do you point it out to your husband? How does he respond?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

And another one!!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> You are diving into a no win topic!! 🤣🤣
> I'm just going to sit back and watch the potential carnage.


Now see? 
It is already clear to me that @Ragnar Ragnasson and @Numb26 are victims of mansplaining inversion trauma.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

I'm also very curious if you feel it is persistent in most interactions, or is very, very, specific surrounding particular subjects or topics.


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

Would someone have to assume another someones gender in order to call it mansplaining?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I have to say, when dear W starts explaining why to do this or when she wants us or me to do something, honestly at times I just say yes, all that aside what is it you actually want me to do after a couple minutes of too much fluff.

I've given up believing she wants an actual answer when she asks why this/that on mundane or social questions. I just listen until something is needed of me. 

If she asks why or how something works, or why it's broken, I don't go into technical details, ever. Used to. Learned not to.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Deejo said:


> Do you have a specific example?
> 
> Does he know he's being condescending? Or do you just feel that way. For instance, I never, ever, thought my wife was stupid, nor was I trying to be disrespectful or condescending. But ... she sure felt like that is how I was being.
> 
> Do you point it out to your husband? How does he respond?


My husband really doesn’t offer opinion as fact too often but sometimes with politics, maybe? A few conversations that implied that I wasn’t “understanding” what he was saying, but I was. I just was disagreeing. lol

When a woman disagrees with a man, that’s not a signal for the guy to double down (and dumb down) re-explaining his point. She gets it, she just disagrees.

There are examples on here, too. Pick any porn thread, and there is at least two men telling the women in the thread, that they are wrong to think their husbands don’t regularly view porn, etc ... Thats just their opinion. 🤷‍♀️


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

mansplaining

/ˈmanˌsplāniNG/
https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf...2ahUKEwj-26r3y8H3AhUFnWoFHXzpAQYQ3eEDegQIAxAK
_noun_
INFORMAL
noun: *mansplaining*

the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing


to explain something to a woman in a condescending way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

*Deidre* said:


> My husband really doesn’t offer opinion as fact too often but sometimes with politics, maybe? A few conversations that implied that I wasn’t “understanding” what he was saying, but I was. I just was disagreeing. lol
> 
> When a woman disagrees with a man, that’s not a signal for the guy to double down (and dumb down) re-explaining his point. She gets it, she just disagrees.
> 
> There are examples on here, too. Pick any porn thread, and there is at least two men telling the women in the thread, that they are wrong to think their husbands don’t regularly view porn, etc ... Thats just their opinion. 🤷‍♀️


As one of those women whose fairly certain my husband doesn't I agree it's just condescending to assume you know something about my husband that I don't. Or that just because you view porn ALL men view porn. They assume I'm just too dumb to figure it out. Or he's too clever at hiding it.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I only ever hear about this on the internet, then again I do normally just roll my eyes and move on instead of explaining myself when what I say flies past people's heads.

Maybe that's why I have been immune to being accused of mansplaining!


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Anastasia6 said:


> As one of those women whose fairly certain my husband doesn't I agree it's just condescending to assume you know something about my husband that I don't. Or that just because you view porn ALL men view porn. They assume I'm just too dumb to figure it out. Or he's too clever at hiding it.


Exactly. If those posts were “hey this is just my experience ...” it would be so much better, but to insist that their opinion is fact, that’s the problem.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> As one of those women whose fairly certain my husband doesn't I agree it's just condescending to assume you know something about my husband that I don't. Or that just because you view porn ALL men view porn. They assume I'm just too dumb to figure it out. Or he's too clever at hiding it.





*Deidre* said:


> Exactly. If those posts were “hey this is just my experience ...” it would be so much better, but to insist that their opinion is fact, that’s the problem.


Or when it is something patently absurd that no serious person would ever, ever believe. Something they would never say to a man, because it's clearly silly.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> mansplaining
> 
> /ˈmanˌsplāniNG/
> how to pronounce mansplaining - Google Search
> ...


But let's say I so take the time for once and be patient explaining something to a woman when it's obvious she has no knowledge about a topic? 

Suddenly waaaah mansplainer!

Well I dunno, it's never happened to me but isn't that what guys have been complaining about?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

My understanding is that mansplaining is when a man feels the need to explain something to a woman because he feels she doesn't understand it because of her gender. For eg, my sister was at the shooting range and the manager mistakenly assumed she had no idea how to shoot. He explained how to stand and hold the gun to hit the target. My sis smiled her beautiful smile, grabbed the revolver, and shot the target right in the center of the chest, 4xs. She's an avid marksman and hunter. 🤷‍♀️


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> mansplaining
> 
> /ˈmanˌsplāniNG/
> how to pronounce mansplaining - Google Search
> ...


In case some of the women don’t know, condescending is when you talk down to someone. 😂😂😂


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

@Deejo see? 16 replies already. 🤣🤣


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

leftfield said:


> Would someone have to assume another someones gender in order to call it mansplaining?


Non-binary-splaining?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> In case some of the women don’t know, condescending is when you talk down to someone. 😂😂😂


You better duck now.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Non-binary-splaining?


Ahahahahhahahah


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Or when it is something patently absurd that no serious person would ever, ever believe. Something they would never say to a man, because it's clearly silly.


Like when the guy is almost unconscious from multiple rounds of great sexcapades with W and she asks, did you like that?


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I'm a female person "of a certain age" and I've always thought of "mansplaining" as a male person speaking to a female person as if "she just is too simple in the head to know about this" ... or as if to say "you're too ditzy-headed to understand this."

I would consider an example of this if a man were to "mansplain" a V8 engine to a woman. I mean, not all women understand how a V8 engine works, but not all men do either! LOL  So it's EXplaining if a woman says "Huh, I've never learned much about this--could you tell me about it?" and the answer is one intelligent human to another. It's MANsplaining if the man just assumes a woman wouldn't know about it and explains it in simplistic, condescending ways.

Now in your instance, @Deejo, if she said "I don't understand" or "What do you mean?" and you answered in a way that paraphrased or was clear but simple, that is what she specifically asked for = not mansplaining! If she didn't ask and you "dumbed it down for her"...then that maybe might have qualified as being called mansplaining. 

That's my opinion but other folks may see it differently!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Lila said:


> My understanding is that mansplaining is when a man feels the need to explain something to a woman because he feels she doesn't understand it because of her gender. For eg, my sister was at the shooting range and the manager mistakenly assumed she had no idea how to shoot. He explained how to stand and hold the gun to hit the target. My sis smiled her beautiful smile, grabbed the revolver, and shot the target right in the center of the chest, 4xs. She's an avid marksman and hunter. 🤷‍♀️


Ah, so simply by having no prejudice or preconceptions and judging on an individual basis would render one not a mansplainer correct? In theory at least.

What I hear on the internet is different though, like the example I mentioned on my 2nd post in this topic or @Deejo 's example.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> @Deejo see? 16 replies already. 🤣🤣


Explosive!


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

I along with the other guys at work have no problems working with women. Most of them are competent and good at their job. Of course there are women and men who seem to be the type who need detailed instructions on how to use a roll of toilet paper 🤣. But that is a different story.

But I find that us guys can be absolutely direct and to the point. If we see what someone is doing is wrong, we say something and all is good. However, around women, we have to adjust our tone and carefully select our words. If we simply point out that something is wrong to a female coworker. They often take the advice as us being rude and thinking they are stupid. Some of us have even found ourselves in the managers office being accused of demeaning behavior.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Mansplaining is when a man says something a feminist doesn't like. It's just another divisive word. It's not like being condescending towards someone is something only men do.


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## DownButNotOut (Apr 9, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> Explosive!


That's not explosive ... THIS is explosive: 

Mansplaining: A feminist shaming tactic intended to immediately shut down any debate on the current topic. Usually deployed against a poor man who was only trying to help.

 

there ... boom.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Affaircare said:


> Now in your instance, @Deejo, if she said "I don't understand" or "What do you mean?" and you answered in a way that paraphrased or was clear but simple, that is what she specifically asked for = not mansplaining! *If she didn't ask and you "dumbed it down for her"...then that maybe might have qualified as being called mansplaining. *
> 
> That's my opinion but other folks may see it differently!


What if it's obvious she doesn't know what she is doing and one only wishes to take the initiative to aid her in the same manner he would aid a male in the same predicament.

I wouldn't, I'm always a wait and see kinda guy and have it blow up in their face so I can laugh, but others may simply be truly altruistic only to have that blow up in their face, which I also find amusing.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

RandomDude said:


> What if it's obvious she doesn't know what she is doing and one only wishes to take the initiative to aid her in the same manner he would aid a male in the same predicament.
> 
> I wouldn't, I'm always a wait and see kinda guy and have it blow up in their face so I can laugh, but others may simply be truly altruistic only to have that blow up in their face, which I also find amusing.


Unless there's a real chance of physical injury or substantial cost to correct, I do the same. Just let it play out. Actually is the best way.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

DownButNotOut said:


> That's not explosive ... THIS is explosive:
> 
> Mansplaining: A feminist shaming tactic intended to immediately shut down any debate on the current topic. Usually deployed against a poor man who was only trying to help.
> 
> ...


Oh no you didn't 😆


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> But let's say I so take the time for once and be patient explaining something to a woman when it's obvious she has no knowledge about a topic?
> 
> Suddenly waaaah mansplainer!
> 
> Well I dunno, it's never happened to me but isn't that what guys have been complaining about?


Mansplaining is not about a man sharing knowledge with a woman who does not already have that knowledge. Here's an example.

Last year I hired a guy to come out to my house and finish the installation of a Ring doorbell. I had completed most of the install. But a small transformer had to be installed on the original home doorbell which is about 14 feet up on a wall. (The ceilings in most of my home are very tall.) There is no way I'm getting on a ladder and getting up there. I'm an old lady, ok? Scared of heights now... 😂 

A young guy, about 30 showed up. I asked him to install the transformer. I gave him a printout of the instructions that came with the doorbell and transformer. I had the ladder there, etc. He's supposed to be an expert on those doorbells. I should have taken him less than 10 minutes to complete the task.

After he spent about 20 minutes assessing the situation, he told me that the Ring doorbell would not work for me. He went into a very slow and detailed explanation why the transformer would not work with my existing doorbell. He was basically being very patronizing and VERY wrong. I just thanked him and he left.

That's mansplaining.

My son was away on vacation. Once he was back in town I showed him what needed to be done. He got on the ladder and installed the transformer per instructions. The doorbell and camera have worked great ever since.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> mansplaining
> 
> /ˈmanˌsplāniNG/
> how to pronounce mansplaining - Google Search
> ...


Yeah, a good example being on I Love Lucy.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Mansplaining is not about a man sharing knowledge with a woman who does not already have that knowledge. Here's an example.
> 
> Last year I hired a guy to come out to my house and finish the installation of a Ring doorbell. I had completed most of the install. But a small transformer had to be installed on the original home doorbell which is about 14 feet up on a wall. (The ceilings in most of my home are very tall.) There is no way I'm getting on a ladder and getting up there. I'm an old lady, ok? Scared of heights now... 😂
> 
> ...


Now take that exact same story you just told, and in place of you, say it happened to me. Would the young guy then be mansplaining if he spent 20 minutes explaining something to me in a condescending way? If that is not mansplaining, then why is there a specific term for when a man is condescending to a woman?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

EleGirl said:


> mansplaining
> 
> /ˈmanˌsplāniNG/
> how to pronounce mansplaining - Google Search
> ...


I think this is a pretty good example. 

I asked to have mansplaining explained ... to a man ... and was given the definition via Google.

Nothing condescending in that is there? It addresses my question. Perfectly.

Unless ... one presumes I was too dumb to google it myself, or be oblivious and obtuse to what it actually means?

Do I think Ele was trying to be condescending? No. At least I don't feel condescended to.
But I don't doubt others may 'feel' like it is.

And that's the challenge I suppose I'm trying to sort out.

If your man insists he's not being an a$$ in his response, but the woman listening believes that he is; how do you resolve that?

Is it consistently demonstrable, or is it often just a feeling? 

Is it condescending of me to ask if a woman has knowledge of a topic, before responding to a question about the topic? And if she does have knowledge, why the question at all?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Many ladies don’t fully understand what mansplaining is.😈


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> I along with the other guys at work have no problems working with women. Most of them are competent and good at their job. Of course there are women and men who seem to be the type who need detailed instructions on how to use a roll of toilet paper 🤣. But that is a different story.
> 
> But I find that us guys can be absolutely direct and to the point. If we see what someone is doing is wrong, we say something and all is good. However, around women, we have to adjust our tone and carefully select our words. If we simply point out that something is wrong to a female coworker. They often take the advice as us being rude and thinking they are stupid. Some of us have even found ourselves in the managers office being accused of demeaning behavior.


This can go both ways.

As team leader on a several software engineering projects, I usually had a team of mostly male software and electrical engineers. There were some of the guys who just could not work with a female lead. They certainly would not take any advice or input. Thank goodness most of the men and women on the teams were excellent.

My way of handing the guys with attitudes was to find another team they could move to. It's called team building.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Lila said:


> My understanding is that mansplaining is when a man feels the need to explain something to a woman because he feels she doesn't understand it because of her gender. For eg, my sister was at the shooting range and the manager mistakenly assumed she had no idea how to shoot. He explained how to stand and hold the gun to hit the target. My sis smiled her beautiful smile, grabbed the revolver, and shot the target right in the center of the chest, 4xs. She's an avid marksman and hunter. 🤷‍♀️


@Lila I like this because it is predicated on a presumption. An incorrect one. I'm guessing that is also a common denominator in mansplaining. 
But ... when the range officer comes over to me and points out something about my grip, or my stance, (I'm opposite eye dominant) I don't presume he thinks I'm an idiot. I assume he's trying to help me improve. I've just made some non-standard adjustments to make me a better shooter. I don't get offended.

So I'm still wondering if it is demonstrable disrespect and/or condescension, or simply how one 'feels' about the interaction or exchange. 

In this case it seems like the input was also unsolicited. I'm guessing that is another common factor. Certainly not in the cases I recall being told were mansplaining. I was asked a question.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

EleGirl said:


> This can go both ways.
> 
> As team leader on a several software engineering projects, I usually had a team of mostly male software and electrical engineers. There were some of the guys who just could not work with a female lead. They certainly would not take any advice or input. Thank goodness most of the men and women on the teams were excellent.
> 
> My way of handing the guys with attitudes was to find another team they could move to. It's called team building.


I will say that we regretfully have a few guys here who seem to act offended that a lady is correcting them. I have actually stepped in and basically said your wrong, she knows what she is talking about because she has done it multiple times. Maybe you should listen to what she has to say so you do it right the next time.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Deejo said:


> I think this is a pretty good example.
> 
> I asked to have mansplaining explained ... to a man ... and was given the definition via Google.
> 
> ...


Now there you go mansplaining…. 😂 🤣 

I posted the definition in direct response to a question YOU asked in the OP. Here’s the question. I forgot to quote the question in my reply. I see now that was a mistake.



Deejo said:


> Curious to know. Do we have a blanket agreed upon definition?


I often look up definitions of words that are being discussed to have a starting point for thinking about the term. And after all, you asked.

And no, I’m not womansplaining here. :🤣


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Deejo said:


> In this case it seems like the input was also unsolicited. I'm guessing that is another common factor.



I think this is the deciding factor on whether something is mansplaining or not. Mansplaining is an unsolicited explanation. 

The guy at the range didn't bother to ask my sis about her shooting we experience before showing her how to "do it right". Had he asked, he would have learned a thing or two from her.😉


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

I always thought of mansplaining as when a woman is explaining her opinion of something, and a man interrupts to "correct" her with his opinion, stating his opinion as though it were fact. It's certainly not mansplaining when a woman asks a question and a man answers it, that's just silly. Claiming that "mansplaining" is something that women say in response to something they don't like, for example, is mansplaining mansplaining, because that man is giving his opinion as though it were fact.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

I am also going to add that whether a woman interprets an explanation as Mansplaining depends on her feelings for the man doing it. 

On/off boyfriend likes explaining things to me. Things I probably I know more about than he does. When he's in my good graces, I smile at him and let him do it because I know it makes him happy. When he's on my **** list, I call him out on it.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Lila said:


> I am also going to add that whether a woman interprets an explanation as Mansplaining depends on her feelings for the man doing it.
> 
> On/off boyfriend likes explaining things to me. Things I probably I know more about than he does. When he's in my good graces, I smile at him and let him do it because I know it makes him happy. When he's on my **** list, I call him out on it.


This kind of honesty is refreshing


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

And what is it called when women do that to eachother?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

LisaDiane said:


> And what is it called when women do that to eachother?


[email protected]#__splaining


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Lila said:


> [email protected]#__splaining


Lolol!!!! LOVE THIS!!!


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Maybe I'm too simple (dumb?) in my way of thinking about this? I guess that might be true because I can't think of a time when I've thought a man was mansplaining to me.

To me, if a man is wrong (in what he says, his tone...etc.), he's simply wrong, my mind doesn't tell me it's because of his gender.

And the same applies if a woman is wrong. She's not wrong because the words are coming from someone of the female gender, she's simply wrong because sometimes we humans are.

An honest question:
Please explain to me how basing a negative type of opinion on either gender because of their gender isn't sexism, how isn't it being prejudiced and/or being discriminatory based on an individual's gender?

Or, is it indeed being sexist but no one cares?

To be clear: I'm not trying to be "cute" or argumentative by asking the above questions. They are genuine questions that I'm asking and I'm hoping it can be explained to me to help me understand.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I always thought mansplaining was when a man explained something he doesn't actually have superior knowledge of than the woman he's explaining it to but acts like he does.

You can see more threads on this board for it. Look for ones that start with. ... I want a woman's opinion on <insert woman thing here> and the first 10 replies are from men but really the best ones are the ones after women reply their <woman's opinion> to be told by the men they are women that's not how women think or feel follow by they shouldn't feel that way.


ETA: like my OWN husband's porn habits or lack there of.....


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> I only ever hear about this on the internet, then again I do normally just roll my eyes and move on instead of explaining myself when what I say flies past people's heads.
> 
> Maybe that's why I have been immune to being accused of mansplaining!


I actually hadn't heard the term before social media and TAM.

I was really trying to understand what was being said but it was a woman doing the explaining and she didn't have a man nearby to translate.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Numb26 said:


> This kind of honesty is refreshing


We all do this in one form or fashion in a relationship.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> In case some of the women don’t know, condescending is when you talk down to someone. 😂😂😂


Glad you stepped in to translate dude!😉


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Anastasia6 said:


> You can see more threads on this board for it. Look for ones that start with. ... I want a woman's opinion on <insert woman thing here> and the first 10 replies are from men but *really the best ones are the ones after women reply their <woman's opinion> to be told by the men they are women that's not how women think or feel follow by they shouldn't feel that way.*


This too. This is a very good example of mansplaining that we see every day.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> I actually hadn't heard the term before social media and TAM.
> 
> I was really trying to understand what was being said but it was a woman doing the explaining and she didn't have a man nearby to translate.


Just be glad nobody brought up "manspreading"! 🤣🤣🤣


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## Angie?or… (Nov 15, 2021)

I think “mansplaining” is a stupid and divisive word.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Numb26 said:


> Just be glad nobody brought up "manspreading"! 🤣🤣🤣


I saw something about that on YouTube. Another thing that I never heard about. Just hit the guy's leg if he's taking up two spots.👍


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

@EleGirl's definition is a good one IMO. However, it missed one aspect of mansplaining that I have experienced many times in my life and career. And that is, _unsolicited_ instruction from a male colleague, husband, etc. when I am in the middle of performing a task. Some men just can’t resist doing so. It’s particularly maddening when it happens at work … I usually let the offender prattle on and then look up and say “Okay, Dad” as I continue my work.

If I need help, I'll ask.


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Angie?or… said:


> I think “mansplaining” is a stupid and divisive word.


A lot of that in the past decade


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

My ex wife once lectured me how to wash the dishes properly. Was that womansplaining?


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

In my experience, it is usually a man with less expertise in a particular area of life, say a profession or hobby, where they clearly have an inferior amount of knowledge and experience yet feel an inappropriate amount of confidence to explain something (incorrectly and/or condescendingly) about said profession or hobby to a woman who has a superior expertise in that particular area. For example, someone who is a male computer tech who reads the newspapers sometimes explaining to a female lawyer about a particular legal case and what it means for us all. In my experience, it has been men explaining to me how to cook (I'm a culinary school graduate and ex-chef) or explaining what certain phrases are in French (which I speak fluently) in a rather snooty, condescending way. 

I never mind someone explaining something to me that I know zero about, for example, cars, taxes, basketball or gardening. But if it is an area of expertise for me and you assume I know nothing about it because I'm a woman, that gets on my t$ts. 

Someone disagreeing with me doesn't annoy me unless they are condescending or rude.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Red Sonja said:


> @EleGirl's definition is a good one IMO. However, it missed one aspect of mansplaining that I have experienced many times in my life and career. And that is, _unsolicited_ instruction from a male colleague, husband, etc. when I am in the middle of performing a task. Some men just can’t resist doing so. It’s particularly maddening when it happens at work … I usually let the offender prattle on and then look up and say “Okay, Dad” as I continue my work.
> 
> If I need help, I'll ask.


Agreed @Red Sonja 

On/off boyfriend finally figured out what I was doing. Whenever he gave me unsolicited instruction, I'd say "show me". That's when I'd say "oh wow, you're so much better at that than me. You can finish it". That's a win for me.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

If i had a venn diagram of people who are effected by Dunning–Kruger and mansplainers there would be an overlap. There are plenty of women who think they know more than they do. But since you asked about mansplaners, that is what I have experienced.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Red Sonja said:


> @EleGirl's definition is a good one IMO. However, it missed one aspect of mansplaining that I have experienced many times in my life and career. And that is, _unsolicited_ instruction from a male colleague, husband, etc. when I am in the middle of performing a task. Some men just can’t resist doing so. It’s particularly maddening when it happens at work … I usually let the offender prattle on and then look up and say “Okay, Dad” as I continue my work.
> 
> If I need help, I'll ask.


As far as on the job, I don't get it unless they were trying to get closer to you? I've never been interested in what a coworker was doing unless it directly impacted my work. It seems a lot of effort to pay attention to other people's jobs and I don't understand the payoff.

As far as spouses go, that one is a two way street.

Mrs. C has been halted doing just what you described many times.😉


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> After he spent about 20 minutes assessing the situation, he told me that the Ring doorbell would not work for me. He went into a very slow and detailed explanation why the transformer would not work with my existing doorbell. He was basically being very patronizing and VERY wrong. I just thanked him and he left.
> That's mansplaining.


Aye, tradees and contractors do tend to do that though to skip out on doing the job properly, make excuses or to sell their own 'solutions' and you bet they try the same crap on me as well


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Women do the exact same thing. How many women talk down to men with things like cleaning, parenting, how to style hair, etc.? 

Where's the word for that?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

bobert said:


> Women do the exact same thing. How many women talk down to men with things like cleaning, parenting, how to style hair, etc.?
> 
> Where's the word for that?


That's not allowed! LMAO


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

bobert said:


> Women do the exact same thing. How many women talk down to men with things like cleaning, parenting, how to style hair, etc.?
> 
> Where's the word for that?


You do know the women responding didn't create the word. And the OP asked for our definitions.

I agree women often offer unsolicited advice.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Enigma32 said:


> Now take that exact same story you just told, and in place of you, say it happened to me. Would the young guy then be mansplaining if he spent 20 minutes explaining something to me in a condescending way? If that is not mansplaining, then why is there a specific term for when a man is condescending to a woman?


I think you just make up a term that means that, like we did for "mansplaining". LOL  Maybe it's called "Manmansplaing" or "Chapdescending"


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Anastasia6 said:


> You do know the women responding didn't create the word. And the OP asked for our definitions.
> 
> I agree women often offer unsolicited *condescending *advice.


Fixed.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

bobert said:


> Women do the exact same thing. How many women talk down to men with things like cleaning, parenting, how to style hair, etc.?
> 
> Where's the word for that?


Because those are the only things women know about, after all. 🙄


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Affaircare said:


> I think you just make up a term that means that, like we did for "mansplaining". LOL  Maybe it's called "Manmansplaing" or "Chapdescending"


Chapdescending needs to be a word because either way because it just sounds cool.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Because those are the only things women know about, after all. 🙄


Uh no. They do it because they think men can't possibly know or do a good job. Women are absolutely horrible for it, and I would guarantee it happens FAR more often than "mansplaining".


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

bobert said:


> Uh no. They do it because they think men can't possibly know or do a good job. Women are absolutely horrible for it, and I would guarantee it happens FAR more often than "mansplaining".


All women do this? And you’ll guarantee it because you’re so objective when it becomes to the behavior of women? 🙄


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> All women do this? And you’ll guarantee it because you’re so objective when it becomes to the behavior of women? 🙄


Where did I say ALL women do it?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

bobert said:


> Where did I say ALL women do it?


I don't see the word "some" anywhere...



bobert said:


> Women do the exact same thing.





bobert said:


> Women are absolutely horrible for it


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I don't see the word "some" anywhere...


If that's the argument you want to use, go for it. It's laughable, but hey. Have to find an argument somewhere, right?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

bobert said:


> If that's the argument you want to use, go for it. It's laughable, but hey. Have to find an argument somewhere, right?


Please, mansplain to me what I'm doing. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

LisaDiane said:


> And what is it called when women do that to eachother?


Talking.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

Deejo said:


> Talking.


Lol!!! Or "sharing"...!!!! Lol!


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## Twodecades (Apr 4, 2021)

Well, when I went into Lowes and had just grabbed my 3/8 by 3/4 elbow connector to install my new dishwasher (I have a good deal of DIY plumbing experience and had already done several installs) but could not locate the plumber's tape because it had been restocked in the wrong place, the guy I found to help me said, "Here it is; sorry we don't have it in pink" (which he thought was hilarious, though I did not ask for pink tape). Then he wanted to tell me how to use it, though I'd told him I'd done plumbing before. I suppose that felt like mansplaining. I didn't get bent out of shape, but I found it annoying.

My husband HATES the word "mansplaining," so I don't use it around him. 😂

(Edited for grammar.)


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Affaircare said:


> "Chapdescending"


This is too wonderfully stupid not to steal and cherish!🤣


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> Just be glad nobody brought up "manspreading"! 🤣🤣🤣


Off topic, but talk about a made-up problem that doesn't actually exist. The reports of it were always accompanied by a man sitting completely alone on a bench with his legs apart. We have actual problems in the world, and entire news reports are wasting time on a dude sitting on a bench minding his own business.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

So, here's a really kind way a man recently offered me advice which appreciated was during my son's cub scouts. They were building something out of wood and I was "helping" my son. I know what a hammer is and can assemble furniture with instructions but I don't know my a$$ from a bandsaw when it comes to making stuff from scratch out of wood. Had I been doing even a semi competent job, I feel sure he wouldn't have said anything. But I was sort of gesturing in the universal baffled sign for "WTF am I doing wrong" way and he stepped in and said "do you mind if I suggest something real quick?" And he stepped in with some sort of slot tool thing that would fix the problem (which he has brought with him), showed me how to operate it and when I tried it, and asked him if I was doing it correctly, he said yes. Then I went back to "helping" my son do something I learned how to do 30 seconds prior. 

It wasn't mansplaining because he asked if I wanted help and he didn't offer help at the sight of me doing a fabulous job at building wooden s$it. He did it when he saw me bombing spectacularly while trying to help my son. And I guess helped me demonstrate for my son that's it is ok to ask for help when you need it (because I probably could have asked someone to start off with instead of trying to give it the old college try first).


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

bobert said:


> Women do the exact same thing. How many women talk down to men with things like cleaning, parenting, how to style hair, etc.?
> 
> Where's the word for that?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Numb26 said:


> Just be glad nobody brought up "manspreading"! 🤣🤣🤣


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

joannacroc said:


> So, here's a really kind way a man recently offered me advice which appreciated was during my son's cub scouts. They were building something out of wood and I was "helping" my son. I know what a hammer is and can assemble furniture with instructions but I don't know my a$$ from a bandsaw when it comes to making stuff from scratch out of wood. Had I been doing even a semi competent job, I feel sure he wouldn't have said anything. But I was sort of gesturing in the universal baffled sign for "WTF am I doing wrong" way and he stepped in and said "do you mind if I suggest something real quick?" And he stepped in with some sort of slot tool thing that would fix the problem (which he has brought with him), showed me how to operate it and when I tried it, and asked him if I was doing it correctly, he said yes. Then I went back to "helping" my son do something I learned how to do 30 seconds prior.
> 
> It wasn't mansplaining because he asked if I wanted help and he didn't offer help at the sight of me doing a fabulous job at building wooden s$it. He did it when he saw me bombing spectacularly while trying to help my son. And I guess helped me demonstrate for my son that's it is ok to ask for help when you need it (because I probably could have asked someone to start off with instead of trying to give it the old college try first).


I'm not sure anyone would honestly think this was mansplaining. 

I never realized so many women thought a man explaining something objectively, regardless of his tone, was "mansplaining," I always thought it was correcting a woman who had an opinion they didn't like. When a man explains something to me I don't understand, especially if I asked, if he's condescending about it I just think he's a jerk, the same as I would if a woman acted that way. Perhaps the term "mansplaining" is overused.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

bobert said:


> Women do the exact same thing. How many women talk down to men with things like cleaning, parenting, how to style hair, etc.?
> 
> Where's the word for that?


I'll probably get told off for this, but I believe if a woman does it, it is called 'nagging.'


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Off topic, but talk about a made-up problem that doesn't actually exist. The reports of it were always accompanied by a man sitting completely alone on a bench with his legs apart. We have actual problems in the world, and entire news reports are wasting time on a dude sitting on a bench minding his own business.


That's right. They actually had this on the news.

Unreal.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Lila said:


> I am also going to add that whether a woman interprets an explanation as Mansplaining depends on her feelings for the man doing it.
> 
> On/off boyfriend likes explaining things to me. Things I probably I know more about than he does. When he's in my good graces, I smile at him and let him do it because I know it makes him happy. When he's on my **** list, I call him out on it.


Being honest, the examples you have called out, I have really found helpful. It isn't so much that I'm ignorant of this, but I like getting my head around how stuff works ... or doesn't work. 

I've often felt that mansplaining falls into the same realm as porn. People often make the declaration, "You know it, when you see it." But that gets really fuzzy, really fast. Even as evidenced here.

Presumptuous, unsolicited, elicits negative feelings.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)




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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Deejo said:


> Talking.


Being a duck. Or something spelled similarly lol


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Speaking of being condescending, do you guys never roast your partners with misogynist jokes? I'm much more deliberately condescending than any mansplainer when I do lol, always results in her roasting me back in a playful fight. Always why I like witty partners that can flip the board and have me roasting on a spit.

All this 'men blah blah' 'women blah blah' is such a joke and should be treated as such IMO, but 'tis just me


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

EleGirl said:


> Now there you go mansplaining…. 😂 🤣
> 
> I posted the definition in direct response to a question YOU asked in the OP. Here’s the question. I forgot to quote the question in my reply. I see now that was a mistake.
> 
> ...


Exactly.

So I mansplained how your response could be taken as mansplaining. And then you told me I mansplained your response that I didn't think was mansplaining. 

I'd say we are right on target.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Speaking of being condescending, do you guys never roast your partners with misogynist jokes? I'm much more deliberately condescending than any mansplainer when I do lol, always results in her roasting me back in a playful fight. Always why I like witty partners that can flip the board and have me roasting on a spit.
> 
> All this 'men blah blah' 'women blah blah' is such a joke and should be treated as such IMO, but 'tis just me


I'm downright belligerent with Mrs. C and it's usually a contest of who can hold out dying of laughter first.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

RandomDude said:


> View attachment 86327


Yeah ... well those damn feminists need to google the urban dictionary meaning of 'batwing'. We have to have air movement over that surface area.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Speaking of being condescending, do you guys never roast your partners with misogynist jokes? I'm much more deliberately condescending than any mansplainer when I do lol, always results in her roasting me back in a playful fight. Always why I like witty partners that can flip the board and have me roasting on a spit.


H does this. ALL THE TIME. The other day my son said something then turned to me and said it again with different words, followed by, "I used small words for your woman brain." He barely got the last words out, he was laughing so hard.

Thing is, I know they're kidding. It's all in fun, just like the jokes I make about how they wander around running into things because the head they think with is in their pants and can't see where they're going.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

joannacroc said:


> But I was sort of gesturing in the universal baffled sign for "WTF am I doing wrong"


The visual I had in my mind on this made me bust out laughing. 

Aaand, under my newfound criteria, we can eliminate presumptuous, based upon your universal WTF? signaling, and how he addressed you did not elicit negative emotions. 

Does that jive?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Off topic, but talk about a made-up problem that doesn't actually exist. The reports of it were always accompanied by a man sitting completely alone on a bench with his legs apart. We have actual problems in the world, and entire news reports are wasting time on a dude sitting on a bench minding his own business.


My understanding is that it has been brought up as a problem because some men sit like that on public transportation so that they have a lot of space to themselves. They take up the space that could seat one or two other people. So people stand while this guy gets a lot of space.

I haven't used public transportation for decades and I don't live in an over populated area like NYC, so I've never had to deal with it.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> My understanding is that it has been brought up as a problem because some men sit like that on public transportation so that they have a lot of space to themselves. They take up the space that could seat one or two other people. So people stand while this guy gets a lot of space.
> 
> I haven't used public transportation for decades and I don't live in an over populated area like NYC, so I've never had to deal with it.
> 
> View attachment 86330


Well I do that too then lol because S P A C E 😑 
Don't sit next to me please!!!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Is it still mansplaining if I mansplain mansplaining to another dude?

Think I’ll go with “Gusplaining”. 😉😄🤣


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> My understanding is that it has been brought up as a problem because some men sit like that on public transportation so that they have a lot of space to themselves. They take up the space that could seat one or two other people. So people stand while this guy gets a lot of space.
> 
> I haven't used public transportation for decades and I don't live in an over populated area like NYC, so I've never had to deal with it.
> 
> View attachment 86330


Wow, maybe I didn't realize because I don't live in a place that uses public transport either. But honestly, I don't see those guys as sexist, I just see them as clueless and rude. The one is manspreading next to another dude. I don't feel like they're deliberately sending a "women are lesser" message, they just lack situational awareness. I wonder if anyone asked them to move over, and if so, what would they say?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> My understanding is that it has been brought up as a problem because some men sit like that on public transportation so that they have a lot of space to themselves. They take up the space that could seat one or two other people. So people stand while this guy gets a lot of space.
> 
> I haven't used public transportation for decades and I don't live in an over populated area like NYC, so I've never had to deal with it.
> 
> View attachment 86330


Well…

…balls. 🤷🏻‍♂️


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Wow, maybe I didn't realize because I don't live in a place that uses public transport either. But honestly, I don't see those guys as sexist, I just see them as clueless and rude. The one is manspreading next to another dude. I don't feel like they're deliberately sending a "women are lesser" message, they just lack situational awareness. I wonder if anyone asked them to move over, and if so, what would they say?


Just another made up problem


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Affaircare said:


> I'm a female person "of a certain age" and I've always thought of "mansplaining" as a male person speaking to a female person as if "she just is too simple in the head to know about this" ... or as if to say "you're too ditzy-headed to understand this."
> 
> I would consider an example of this if a man were to "mansplain" a V8 engine to a woman. I mean, not all women understand how a V8 engine works, but not all men do either! LOL  So it's EXplaining if a woman says "Huh, I've never learned much about this--could you tell me about it?" and the answer is one intelligent human to another. It's MANsplaining if the man just assumes a woman wouldn't know about it and explains it in simplistic, condescending ways.
> 
> ...


@Affaircare you know, I think she just didn't like that I knew everything. 😀

I think some of the issues stemmed from my trying to be clear, and her interpretation that I was dumbing it down. My responses weren't unsolicited, or presumptuous, but they did elicit negative emotions at times. 
Also want to mansplain, that in the light that this marriage tanked, it didn't tank over mansplaining. Or .... ?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Numb26 said:


> Just another made up problem


Unless the men are refusing to put their legs together to accommodate others. I just think the simplest answer is usually correct and cluelessness seems a far more likely explanation. Seems a bit of a reach to attribute malice to it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Here I found this. I think it will go a long way to help this discussion. 😂


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> Here I found this. I think it will go a long way to help this discussion. 😂


😍😍😍😍I love JP Sears. He lives in Austin now. I have his t-shirt "Make Everywhere Texas." I've been a fan for years. Have you seen the videos about "If meat-eaters acted like vegans"? Sorry, threadjack, but seriously, look it up. So funny.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

GusPolinski said:


> Is it still mansplaining if I mansplain mansplaining to another dude?
> 
> Thing I’ll go with “Gusplaining”. 😉😄🤣


I read this as "Gunsplaining" and wanted to hear more.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Love JP! 🤗 

Yay, manbun! _whispers_ to go along with the mansplaining... 🤭


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Wow, maybe I didn't realize because I don't live in a place that uses public transport either. But honestly, I don't see those guys as sexist, I just see them as clueless and rude. The one is manspreading next to another dude. I don't feel like they're deliberately sending a "women are lesser" message, they just lack situational awareness. I wonder if anyone asked them to move over, and if so, what would they say?


I'm VERY aware I'm doing it 😝😇

Yes, I would move 😑 I do it so they sit next to everyone else first before they choose me to squeeze next to 😒


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> My understanding is that it has been brought up as a problem because some men sit like that on public transportation so that they have a lot of space to themselves. They take up the space that could seat one or two other people. So people stand while this guy gets a lot of space.
> 
> I haven't used public transportation for decades and I don't live in an over populated area like NYC, so I've never had to deal with it.
> 
> View attachment 86330


Personally I have to sit this way to accommodate my 12 inch penis.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> I'm VERY aware I'm doing it 😝😇
> 
> Yes, I would move 😑 I do it so they sit next to everyone else first before they choose me to squeeze next to 😒


I drive my own huge SUV so no one can sit next to me. BAM! Oh my gosh, am I... momspreading????


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

Enigma32 said:


> My ex wife once lectured me how to wash the dishes properly. Was that womansplaining?


I don't know. But it sounds annoying. 

I don't think I have experienced mansplaining too much. Once I had a neurologist explain to me the symptoms of a migraine. You might think he is an expert, but as a migraine sufferer, I didn't need to be educated on the symptoms. I lived the symptoms. (I didn't go back.) Also, a friend of mine suggested that was possibly just Doctor splaining (although I can't think of a woman medical provider who talked to me the same way). The other time was when I was taking a class. We were in a group and a much younger guy dominated the group by explaining child language to us. He never shut up long enough to realize that he was literally sitting next to two experts in the area. 

Also, I think it's fair to suggest that there might be some bias in identifying "mansplaining." Mansplaining is annoying because I am making the assumption that the man is speaking like that to me, because I am a woman. But maybe he's just socially inept and men find him just as annoying. 

And perhaps women speak to each other the same way, but because they are both women, we don't assume there is sexism associated. 

So while it does happen, in my experience most men don't actually do it. The ones who do it, in general, have poor social skills. And for all I know they annoy the men around them as well.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I drive my own huge SUV so no one can sit next to me. BAM! Oh my gosh, am I... momspreading????


Lol yes, I'd rather drive too and always grumpy when I have to take a train.

Because, people


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

joannacroc said:


> I'll probably get told off for this, but I believe if a woman does it, it is called 'nagging.'


I dig this statement.

To me, nagging is precise. Like laser targeting a smart bomb for maximum effect while minimizing collateral damage. When used with discretion it yields excellent results. When used like carpet bombing it yields increased diminishing returns. 

It generally involves questioning the performance of an already completed task.

Or the repetitive emphasis on the lack of a perceived start or completion of a desired task.

Gotta say, I see mansplaining and nagging as having different dynamics. And as irritating as mansplaining obviously is; I believe a man performing nagging, is even worse than mansplaining. My opinion, but I think men just about universally have a six sense for detecting nagging. And have a visceral, negative, reaction to seeing a man performing it.

Whereas mansplaining is black magic, voodoo, mojo.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Wow, maybe I didn't realize because I don't live in a place that uses public transport either. But honestly, I don't see those guys as sexist, I just see them as clueless and rude. The one is manspreading next to another dude. I don't feel like they're deliberately sending a "women are lesser" message, they just lack situational awareness. I wonder if anyone asked them to move over, and if so, what would they say?


I don't know enough about the whole manspreading thingy to know if it's considered sexist except that it's men who manspread by definition. It can inconvenience both men and women however, as you point out.

My take on a lot of this is that people who get gender studies degrees need to come up with new terms to put in their thesis. And then there's a portion of the public who take it too far.

Do men mansplain? Yea. Do women womensplain? Yea
Do women nag? Yea. Do men nag? yea.

People who 'manspread' on a crowded bus or train are just rude. I don't care if it's a man or a woman.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Lol yes, I'd rather drive too and always grumpy when I have to take a train.
> 
> Because, people


People are the worst.

From this thread, I have learned:
1. The word "mansplaining" seems overused
2. Some people are always looking to get offended, and it's certainly not just women doing it
3. Explaining to someone what they AKSHUALLY think as though you know more than everyone about everything is obnoxious no matter who does it
4. Seems like saying, "Excuse me, may I sit down?" would fix our manspreading problem, but I don't know because my giant truck is momspread all over the street
5. We need a thread about how awesome JP Sears is


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> people who get gender studies degrees need to come up with new terms to put in their thesis


Elegirl for the win. I think we're done here, gang. 🤣 🤣 🤣


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BlueWoman said:


> So while it does happen, in my experience most men don't actually do it. The ones who do it, in general, have poor social skills. And for all I know they annoy the men around them as well.


I also think that our society has changed a lot. In the 1970's and 1980's it was very common for men to mansplain. This mostly happened at work, in a hardware store, remodeling my home, when I was working on my car... you know doing "man things". In most cases mildly annoying sometimes. There were a few cases where the guy tried to use his attitude and 'mansplaining' in front of managers at work and/or people of higher rank in the military to show his superiority. But things have changed a lot since then. In my experience in more recent years it happens very seldom in my experience.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> My take on a lot of this is that people who get gender studies degrees need to come up with new terms to put in their thesis. And then there's a portion of the public who take it too far.


LOL 



> People who 'manspread' on a crowded bus or train are just rude. I don't care if it's a man or a woman.


Hey I make room when I hold the very last spot


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TexasMom1216 said:


> People are the worst.
> 
> From this thread, I have learned:
> 4. Seems like saying, *"Excuse me, may I sit down?"* would fix our manspreading problem, but I don't know because my giant truck is momspread all over the street


From my experience, back in the day when I did live in crowded cities and used public transportation, saying* "Excuse me, may I sit down?"* is ignored in most cases and can lead to some really rude and aggressive behavior in the worst cases. I think that's the problem, maybe? Often times guys who do that are just rude????

Worse than the 'manspreaders' were the "feeleruppers" - guys who took the opportunity to feel up women who they are standing next to, and often pushed up against, on a crowded bus/train. I did learn the "high heel in the top of his foot" technique to let the "feeleruppers" know where I stood on the topic.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Before "mansplaining" there as "Cavemansplaining"


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> From my experience, back in the day when I did live in crowded cities and used public transportation, saying* "Excuse me, may I sit down?"* is ignored in most cases and can lead to some really rude and aggressive behavior in the worst cases. I think that's the problem, maybe? Often times guys who do that are just rude????
> 
> Worse than the 'manspreaders' were the "feeleruppers" - guys who took the opportunity to feel up women who they are standing next to, and often pushed up against, on a crowded bus/train. I did learn the "high heel in the top of his foot" technique to let the "feeleruppers" know where I stood on the topic.


I'm sorry that happened and certainly didn't intend to make light of it. I have very little experience with public transportation, I've lived in Texas my whole life and when I've been on public transportation in cities like NYC or Chicago I was with a group of people.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I'm sorry that happened and certainly didn't intend to make light of it. I have very little experience with public transportation, I've lived in Texas my whole life and when I've been on public transportation in cities like NYC or Chicago I was with a group of people.


It's all ok. We are just talking. But the topic did remind me of the problems with public transpiration.

I have to admit that the high heel dug into the top of a perps foot is empowering. One time when I did it, others on the bus seemed to know what was going on. When the guy was jumping around holding his foot and crying in pain, people near me on the bus started laughing at the guy.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

Deejo said:


> In my second marriage, my wife would ask me, "What do you mean?" or say, "I don't understand." very frequently. As our relationship progressed, I found myself trying to be very careful and precise with my words to avoid those quizzical looks and questions.
> 
> And then, somehow, that all morphed into "I'm not an idiot you know." "Do you think I'm stupid?" and of course, "You don't have to mansplain everything."
> 
> ...


mansplaning is equal to their not wanting your opinion, even if you are right. 

It's a far left feminist term and the two times I heard it from my wife, I distanced from her till she apologized. Never use that term around someone who is not a misygomist. F those who do, keep your feminist $hit to yourself


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> It's all ok. We are just talking. But the topic did remind me of the problems with public transpiration.
> 
> I have to admit that the high heel dug into the top of a perps foot is empowering. One time when I did it, others on the bus seemed to know what was going on. When the guy was jumping around holding his foot and crying in pain, people near me on the bus started laughing at the guy.


I'm so sheltered from those problems, because where I am everyone drives everywhere and when we travel I'm with my husband and son. It's honestly horrifying when I hear about things that happen on buses and trains, I can't imagine being trapped that way. I'm glad the heel thing worked.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Red Sonja said:


> @EleGirl's definition is a good one IMO. However, it missed one aspect of mansplaining that I have experienced many times in my life and career. And that is, _unsolicited_ instruction from a male colleague, husband, etc. when I am in the middle of performing a task. Some men just can’t resist doing so. It’s particularly maddening when it happens at work … I usually let the offender prattle on and then look up and say “Okay, Dad” as I continue my work.
> 
> If I need help, I'll ask.


🤣😂😂🤣🤣


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

bobert said:


> Women do the exact same thing. How many women talk down to men with things like cleaning, parenting, how to style hair, etc.?
> 
> Where's the word for that?


It's called making your last ditch effort not to have to divorce your husband.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> I have to admit that the high heel dug into the top of a perps foot is empowering. One time when I did it, others on the bus seemed to know what was going on. When the guy was jumping around holding his foot and crying in pain, people near me on the bus started laughing at the guy.


Hahaha it's pretty cool move, it sends a message, it's painful, and at the same time not even confrontational, definitely something to teach my kid


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I’m surprised this thread made it this far without the alternative definition of mansplaining.

Please no ban mods this is a joke and in poor taste and note I do not believe this but IMO the joke is funny anyway…. Hmm maybe I should not post it. 🤐


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> My understanding is that it has been brought up as a problem because some men sit like that on public transportation so that they have a lot of space to themselves. They take up the space that could seat one or two other people. So people stand while this guy gets a lot of space.
> 
> I haven't used public transportation for decades and I don't live in an over populated area like NYC, so I've never had to deal with it.
> 
> View attachment 86330


They're always touching somebody else's leg with their knee too and that can be a problem.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

DownByTheRiver said:


> They're always touching somebody else's leg with their knee too and that can be a problem.


Eh? Screw that, I spread wide open so I don't touch anyone else and they don't touch me  😝


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> They're always touching somebody else's leg with their knee too and that can be a problem.


I do NOT want strangers touching me. Gross.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> From my experience, back in the day when I did live in crowded cities and used public transportation, saying* "Excuse me, may I sit down?"* is ignored in most cases and can lead to some really rude and aggressive behavior in the worst cases. I think that's the problem, maybe? Often times guys who do that are just rude????
> 
> Worse than the 'manspreaders' were the "feeleruppers" - guys who took the opportunity to feel up women who they are standing next to, and often pushed up against, on a crowded bus/train. I did learn the "high heel in the top of his foot" technique to let the "feeleruppers" know where I stood on the topic.


I've done that before when a backstage doorman in LA stopped me on my way into a private party for which I was wearing a very obvious stage pass around my neck and asked me what I was going to do for him.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> It's called making your last ditch effort not to have to divorce your husband.


It's women who (subconsciously or not) think men are incapable idiots. They have a condescending tone even when just answering "yes" or "no".

FYI, women also do it to men they are not married to. What's the excuse you have for that one?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ccpowerslave said:


> I’m surprised this thread made it this far without the alternative definition of mansplaining.
> 
> Please no ban mods this is a joke and in poor taste and note I do not believe this but IMO the joke is funny anyway…. Hmm maybe I should not post it. 🤐


Ok, what is the alternative definition of mansplaining??


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Ok, what is the alternative definition of mansplaining??


Hahaha ok.

Mansplaining is the antidote for <blank>.

<blank> = word similar to confusion but with the con replaced with something else that is similar but a vulgar term for a part of women’s anatomy used often in the UK (at least by people I know from Croydon).

Please no perma… 🙏


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Is it still mansplaining if I mansplain mansplaining to another dude?
> 
> Think I’ll go with “Gusplaining”. 😉😄🤣


You know I'm now going to be researching all his scenes, looking for some "Gusplaining".😆


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> Hahaha ok.
> 
> Mansplaining is the antidote for <blank>.
> 
> ...


Dude. You are so bad that I have to buy you a beer when I'm in the area. Your stupidity is master level and this barbarian is both impressed and approves!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> Dude. You are so bad that I have to buy you a beer when I'm in the area. Your stupidity is master level and this barbarian is both impressed and approves!
> 
> 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


BTW that is several years old and I didn’t come up with it. When I heard it I ran to tell my wife and she just squinted at me and frowned.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ccpowerslave said:


> BTW that is several years old and I didn’t come up with it. When I heard it I ran to tell my wife and *she just squinted at me and frowned.*


Ahhh, the satisfaction when they do that 😊


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Ahhh, the satisfaction when they do that 😊


My son told me that the happiness I feel when I embarrass him (God help me, I do) is what he feels when I give him that look. Learned from his father.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Andy1001 said:


> In case some of the women don’t know, condescending is when you talk down to someone. 😂😂😂


For the win!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

RandomDude said:


> Ahhh, the satisfaction when they do that 😊


To be fair she absolutely hates that word. Since my best friend is from London he says it sometimes and I know some other guys who say it a lot, so I floated it out a long time ago when someone cut us off on the road (many years ago).

She went into an explanation of how much she hates that word and it’s her most hated word and I shouldn’t say that word.

Now I know a guy from Croydon who says it every other sentence when no women are in the room.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

bobert said:


> It's women who (subconsciously or not) think men are incapable idiots. They have a condescending tone even when just answering "yes" or "no".
> 
> FYI, women also do it to men they are not married to. What's the excuse you have for that one?





bobert said:


> It's women who (subconsciously or not) think men are incapable idiots. They have a condescending tone even when just answering "yes" or "no".
> 
> FYI, women also do it to men they are not married to. What's the excuse you have for that one?


Well since I don't agree or conform with your premise, I don't need an excuse.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> mansplaining
> 
> /ˈmanˌsplāniNG/
> how to pronounce mansplaining - Google Search
> ...


When I've heard the term, and within the binary construct, I considered it to mean when a man explains something to a woman with the assumption that she has no knowledge on the subject (even though she does) or minimizes her knowledge.

Maybe a bit like when my husband did a burn-pile and I suggested how to put it out properly and how the fire can travel otherwise. The twist here is that given he's a volunteer firefighter, I actually learned that stuff through him. When I did that I got the inhale and 'look'. In summary, it's basically unintentionally being obnoxious. For the benefit of the men here, what I am communicating is that I have myself 'mansplained'.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> I actually hadn't heard the term before social media and TAM.
> 
> I was really trying to understand what was being said but it was a woman doing the explaining and she didn't have a man nearby to translate.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> <blank> = word similar to confusion but with the con replaced with something else that is similar but a vulgar term for a part of women’s anatomy used often in the UK (at least by people I know from Croydon).


I still don't know what the word is. I need it mansplained to me. 

🤣

Really, though, is it what you say when you're going to see someone the next time it's Tuesday?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Good for you @EleGirl for making use of the shoe-weapon.



TexasMom1216 said:


> I'm so sheltered from those problems, because where I am everyone drives everywhere and when we travel I'm with my husband and son. It's honestly horrifying when I hear about things that happen on buses and trains, I can't imagine being trapped that way. I'm glad the heel thing worked.


We lived in cities before and where I regularly took public transport. Thankfully nothing really occurred with me, as in no feeler-uppers. From vague recollection of seeing someone spreading their legs while seated, I wouldn't have said anything due to figuring at best it's them being unaware and at worst intentional and rude, and not wanting the hassle of the potential unknown reaction just to sit down. It was few and far between though.

Main instance that stands out in my mind, and as I'd shared here too, was when there were a couple of guys being loud at the train station on the way home; going up to women and saying things. The main guy went up to a younger woman sitting nearest me. She kept her eyes locked to the floor the entire time as he got up in her space, saying off-putting things at her. I looked over to see if she was okay. He saw this and made a beeline to me. He stood right in front of me. I was seated and so I stood up; I guess being instinctively defiant. In response to something he said to me (I don't remember what it was), I replied along the lines of, '_Oh, you're some kind of joker?' _... what an unusual choice of words. Strangely to me, I wouldn't normally say something like that and my tone of voice had changed and was not how I normally sound either. It was my 'blood boiling' voice that can be deeper and slower and that I've only heard emerge a couple of times. It's weird. He stepped back away from me, saying _'Yeah, that's right baby, I'm a joker...' _and walked away, left the platform.

Granted when I relayed that to Batman, he was less than pleased with me due to concern of potentially putting myself at risk. For the sake of this thread, no I did not consider that mansplaining at all. In the moment, it was also kind of instinctual.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

heartsbeating said:


> Good for you @EleGirl for making use of the shoe-weapon.
> 
> 
> We lived in cities before and where I regularly took public transport. Thankfully nothing really occurred with me, as in no feeler-uppers. From vague recollection of seeing someone spreading their legs while seated, I wouldn't have said anything due to figuring at best it's them being unaware and at worst intentional and rude, and not wanting the hassle of the potential unknown reaction just to sit down. It was few and far between though.
> ...


Have you seen the movie "Nobody"... in particular the bus scene? 😇


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Have you seen the movie "Nobody"... in particular the bus scene? 😇


No I haven’t. What happens?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

heartsbeating said:


> Good for you @EleGirl for making use of the shoe-weapon.
> 
> 
> We lived in cities before and where I regularly took public transport. Thankfully nothing really occurred with me, as in no feeler-uppers. From vague recollection of seeing someone spreading their legs while seated, I wouldn't have said anything due to figuring at best it's them being unaware and at worst intentional and rude, and not wanting the hassle of the potential unknown reaction just to sit down. It was few and far between though.
> ...


We in the cul-de-sac call that the mama bear instinct. It does not have to be in defense of your own cub.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

heartsbeating said:


> No I haven’t. What happens?


Lol nvm, it's just my fantasy everytime I'm on public transport/stations... to murder everyone who disturbs my peace and quiet and personal space  lol

And this is why I spend hundreds on parking because I hate it so much!!!


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## Dillinger (12 mo ago)




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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

ccpowerslave said:


> Hahaha ok.
> 
> Mansplaining is the antidote for <blank>.
> 
> ...


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Like when the guy is almost unconscious from multiple rounds of great sexcapades with W and she asks, did you like that?


"Hmmm...... yeah...... it was okay."



Enigma32 said:


> Mansplaining is when a man says something a feminist doesn't like. It's just another divisive word. It's not like being condescending towards someone is something only men do.


My wife is a Feminist and she was one of those who was a very active activist and rally organiser, back when we started dating each other.

Yet whenever I say something my wife doesn't like, she has never used the term mansplain at all. In fact I've never heard her use it in any other context either and she thinks it's divisive.

Yet getting back to saying things she doesn't like, my Feminist wife will say; piss off or **** off, or stick her finger up at me, or pinch me, or she will say she doesn't like me right now, or she'll say prove it, or wanna bet. Plus she's good with getting whatever she gives as well.



Enigma32 said:


> My ex wife once lectured me how to wash the dishes properly. Was that womansplaining?


I taught my wife how to iron clothes.

And I'm not joking, her mother always did all the housework at home and never showed my wife how to do it.

While my mum taught me to iron, not long after I entered High School, since she felt I ought to be able to look after myself. Then I got gold star ironing skills, following joining the Army when I was 17.

So I had no hesitation in lecturing my then girlfriend and now wife, on how to iron clothes properly.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

so_sweet said:


> Maybe I'm too simple (dumb?) in my way of thinking about this? I guess that might be true because I can't think of a time when I've thought a man was mansplaining to me.
> 
> To me, if a man is wrong (in what he says, his tone...etc.), he's simply wrong, my mind doesn't tell me it's because of his gender.
> 
> ...


If anyone is interested, I searched for the answer to my question (is it sexist to say "mansplaining") in my previous post referenced above, and came across the following:

Snippet 1 & 2 below from: Do we need a different word for 'mansplaining'?

Snippet 1:
The word "mansplaining" is still having a moment.

It made its debut in 2008, inspired by Rebecca Solnit's blog post: "Men Explain Things to Me."

"Men explain things to me, and other women, whether or not they know what they're talking about," Solnit wrote. "Some men."

Her blog post describes a cringe-worthy moment in which a man interrupts her to talk "smugly about this book I should have known," Solnit said. What he didn't realize was that Solnit had written the book in question. It took several interruptions for him to realize he was explaining a book, which he _hadn't read_, to the woman who had written it.

Snippet 2:
Is the word itself inherently sexist?

Solnit herself has come out and said "she doesn't necessarily agree with that term because it is so gendered," Zeilinger said. "She has a great line in one of her essays: 'You don't fight patronizing by patronizing in return.'"

"It's worth remembering, despite the term we've given it, it points to a much more systemic problem related to the way we are all trained to think about gender. ... It's about the way we're raised, the way women are raised to make themselves smaller and men have this incredible confidence. It's about interrogating that, rather than blaming men."

Huang agreed: Pointing out the problem of people interrupting or talking over women doesn't require using the word "mansplainer."

"You don't have to use the word 'mansplaining,' because it is kind of divisive and implies the person is sexist. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't and they're just unaware and unintentionally saying something that offends," Huang said. "It's a little offensive to say this is only something men can do. Women can also be rude and interrupting and exert their personalities over a room."

---------------------------------------

Also, I thought I'd share the two images below (I found them kind of interesting) that I came across at: IS ‘MANSPLAINING’ A SEXIST WORD?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

So by that flow chart, if a man ever explains anything to a woman without her asking it’s probably or definitely “mansplaining”. 🥱


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> So by that flow chart, if a man ever explains anything to a woman without her asking it’s probably or definitely “mansplaining”. 🥱


I don't know, but has to be a waste of time. A man could be fishing instead of wondering about it. 🤣🤣


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

ccpowerslave said:


> So by that flow chart, if a man ever explains anything to a woman without her asking it’s probably or definitely “mansplaining”. 🥱


I don't know.
I don't think I really like the term "mansplaining" (for reasons explained in my first post), I was just sharing the images, thought they were interesting and on-topic!


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)




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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Personal said:


> I taught my wife how to iron clothes.
> 
> And I'm not joking, her mother always did all the housework at home and never showed my wife how to do it.
> 
> ...


I was in the Marines and my ex wife has mansplained ironing to me.  

I would expect the "manspreading" to be a guy thing because women would be more conscious of spreading their legs since most of them have at some point sat down in a dress or skirt. My kids are in the school musical and one of the guys was playing a woman and had to be trained to sit down "properly" wearing a skirt. It was a process.

In the most common cases where I've seen something described as mansplaining it has been about distinctly feminine things like periods, pregnancy, her sexual experience, their anatomy, etc. I've also seen the equivalent done by women as they describe men's experience of being a man and their view of masculinity or men's experience in dating or in school or whatever (IE men think X and therefore men are terrible or the reason men do X is because of Y which means they're terrible).


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Never come across it...


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Hiner112 said:


> I was in the Marines and my ex wife has mansplained ironing to me.
> 
> I would expect the "manspreading" to be a guy thing because women would be more conscious of spreading their legs since most of them have at some point sat down in a dress or skirt. My kids are in the school musical and one of the guys was playing a woman and had to be trained to sit down "properly" wearing a skirt. It was a process.
> 
> In the most common cases where I've seen something described as mansplaining it has been about distinctly feminine things like periods, pregnancy, her sexual experience, their anatomy, etc. I've also seen the equivalent done by women as they describe men's experience of being a man and their view of masculinity or men's experience in dating or in school or whatever (IE men think X and therefore men are terrible or the reason men do X is because of Y which means they're terrible).


You lost me in the first half of the second paragraph. I just faded out. Tell me when you need help to do something and I'm your guy.


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

Acording to my only personal experience and just IMO, mansplaining is NOGUD.
But THIS post may be mansplaininig in itself.
So I appologize in advance.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ElOtro said:


> NOGUD


Sorry to t/j but what does this mean?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Sorry to t/j but what does this mean?


English is not my first language (and neither @ElOtro's as far as I know), but I take it as meaning NO GOOD?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> English is not my first language (and neither @ElOtro's as far as I know), but I take it as meaning NO GOOD?


I wasn't sure if that was it or not... but agreed, mansplaining is obnoxious and not good.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

First of all, just want to be clear that I appreciate your thoughtfulness in thinking about this and providing your response. Overall, I think the thread has been remarkably helpful, and funny.

But ... my mind is sometimes a weird place. Even for me. Immediately upon seeing that first image, my thought was, "Holy crap, that looks like Farmer Ted from Sixteen Candles! He couldn't be a mansplainer, could he?"












so_sweet said:


> ---------------------------------------
> 
> Also, I thought I'd share the two images below (I found them kind of interesting) that I came across at: IS ‘MANSPLAINING’ A SEXIST WORD?
> 
> View attachment 86339


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Have you seen the movie "Nobody"... in particular the bus scene? 😇


Great movie with one of the best soundtracks.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

ConanHub said:


> Great movie with one of the best soundtracks.


Like a cross between John Wick, and the Bourne Identity, for old guys. I think Odenkirk is a great actor.
It's a great story about being true to who you are on the inside. And touches on themes like Dead Bedroom, and what women really want from their men. Hitmen. They want hitmen. 😊


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Deejo said:


> First of all, just want to be clear that I appreciate your thoughtfulness in thinking about this and providing your response. Overall, I think the thread has been remarkably helpful, and funny.
> 
> But ... my mind is sometimes a weird place. Even for me. Immediately upon seeing that first image, my thought was, "Holy crap, that looks like Farmer Ted from Sixteen Candles! He couldn't be a mansplainer, could he?"


LOL, it DOES look like him!
Also, thank-you.


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

I did a podcast on the topic:
Podcast


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I didn't watch it but kudos to you. I may watch it sometime.


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## Rooster Cogburn (9 mo ago)

My MIL is good at mansplaining...

Her finest moment...

Wife, 48 hours after release from hospital with 2nd child.... - "I think he's developing some jaundice.... I think we need to take him in..." @2pm.

Two hours later....

Wife- "I don't know what to do... maybe we should take him in to see a nurse..."

MIL- "Well, let me gather my things... I will go with you." @ 4pm.

30 minutes later (clinic closes @ 5pm on Saturday)

ME- "Hey, you know they close at 5pm... you have to leave NOW if you think he needs to be seen by someone... but you gotta leave NOW. But your decision to make..."

MIL- "SHE JUST HAD A BABY DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER LIKE THAT!?!?!?! SHE CAN"T MOVE AT LIGHTNING SPEED." @4 30pm.

ME to myself- 'No **** lady. And given the fact that you two have been mulling over whether to take my son in to the Dr. for 3 hours clearly demonstrates that she moves more like a snail than lightning.'


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

joannacroc said:


> I believe if a woman does it, it is called 'nagging.'


If a woman _speaks_, it's called 'nagging.'


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## ElOtro (Apr 4, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Sorry to t/j but what does this mean?


Would it be mansplaining if a tell you?  



In Absentia said:


> English is not my first language (and neither @ElOtro's as far as I know), but I take it as meaning NO GOOD?


You are right.
But THIS time I can´t blame it to my poor English.
NOGUD is the name of a character in a SF Novel.



TexasMom1216 said:


> I wasn't sure if that was it or not... but agreed, mansplaining is obnoxious and not good.


True.
Most if not all gender bias are not good.
And there are quite a few from both sides, IMO.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)




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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

minimalME said:


> View attachment 86564


Nah, he's hitting on her. About to ask for a date or ph number. 🤣


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

🤣🤣🤣


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

LOL… this guy… 🤣🤣🤣


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> mansplaining
> 
> /ˈmanˌsplāniNG/
> how to pronounce mansplaining - Google Search
> ...


Usually starts out with..."See sugar britches it is like this" or " listen up babydoll" or "okay missy "

🤣😁


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Divinely Favored said:


> Usually starts out with..."See sugar britches it is like this" or " listen up babydoll" or "okay missy "
> 
> 🤣😁


Sugar britches....haven't heard that in a while.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Sugar britches....haven't heard that in a while.


Left out darl'n


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Divinely Favored said:


> Left out darl'n


I've said darlin', sweetie, when a nice lady, young or older, to her when she's brought out breakfast plate or more coffee. 
I'm an older greybeard, eating in a country diner, so I can live with that. Anyone disagrees can simply kma.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I've said darlin', sweetie, when a nice lady, young or older, to her when she's brought out breakfast plate or more coffee.
> I'm an older greybeard, eating in a country diner, so I can live with that. Anyone disagrees can simply kma.


That is a fine country term...but when it is use in a condescending tone that is what is up for discussion. My Godmother was a truck stop waitress and called everyone sweety. I know an old black preacher lady that calls everyone baby. Love her to death. But then again when older women do it kind of disarms us southern boys because we start thinking about grandma talking to us.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Divinely Favored said:


> That is a fine country term...but when it is use in a condescending tone that is what is up for discussion. My Godmother was a truck stop waitress and called everyone sweety. I know an old black preacher lady that calls everyone baby. Love her to death. But then again when older women do it kind of disarms us southern boys because we start thinking about grandma talking to us.


You nailed it. A person of either sex can tell from the tone and context.


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