# wife ask to move out on her own, she can't afford it and blaming me, what should i do



## justhonest (Jul 12, 2008)

......my wife of 5 years told me yesterday that she wants to move out to figure out things for herself and what she wants from our marriage, she is 27 and i am 32, she emotionally cheated on me as she has admitted after i discovered the love letters she wrote, etc and it went on for about 5 months but she said nothing happened b/n them and she never disclosed her feelings to him...she said it hppened during a period when there was quiteness b/n us hence she got hurt with my close up, during this period, we had made a 5 year financial plan, part of which was for us to pursue better paying jobs that suited our college qualifications in carrers that gave us satifaction, in the 5 yrs of our marriage, i have paid for everything as she has always been changing her mind about her careers and quiting jobs because she did not like someone or something about it as well as not been proactive with pursuing her career, i now know that she got comfortable just receiving and enjoying all that money could pay for because she did not have to worry about it as she did not pay for it....in this period she was in a job that as always she complained and was frustrated about hr boss and some colleuges as well and the pay, she however was not doing anything about it but only complaining...when i try to encourage her to be proactive she got upset and turn it into an arguement, i finally gave up and close up because i was hurt as to why she was not seeming willing to pursue with her part...
now she wants to move out but she cannot afford it....she is asking for me to take on some of her financial responsibilities to free money for her to move out....realistically i cannot and she seem to blame me for that saying i am trying to stop her from her happiness....i love her and want her to have her happiness, when she told me she was moving out, i did not put up a fuss but told her i would be there for her and support her....i thought she had it all figured out.....we are not divorce but this will be a separation.....what should i do as i do not want to end up in a financial mess if she moves and stop paying her financial responsibilities some of which are in both our names...


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Justhonest -

You have no duty to her outside of your home. If she wants to go, you must let her, but don't roll out a red carpet and make it easy. Let her make her own way. She can easily afford her own place, but it will have to be more shabby than she is used to.

It does not sound like she particularly respects you, so paying for her to move out will not help. What if she takes a lover into her new home that she wants you to pay for?

You might even find that showing some backbone turns her on - that would be my guess.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Don't be a sucker. Of course she was cheating and wants to ratchet up that experience. 

If she wants to leave and play independent single girl who can have other men, then let her. But you do not have to pay for it!

Escalate things and sue for divorce.

She is being a selfish brat.

She does not love you. She likes being supported while she fools around with her life, sexually and otherwise.


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