# How to get out of limbo



## limboland (Nov 19, 2010)

I was with my ex for 16 years, now separated for 4 months after she moved out. We have no children. 
We are in contact/see each other about 2-3 times/week, have been physically intimate and are attending counseling. It seems the biggest obstacle to our reconciling is restoring the trust which was lost through due emotional neglect I caused. (No infidelity on either side). 

It seems although we are sometimes making progress, the waiting and confusion is very frustrating. Am I being impatient? How do I get out of this seemingly endless state of limbo?


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

why are you having sex if you are seperated:scratchhead:

seems like if you want to fix the trust in the two of you, it would start with dateing and building trust outside the bedroom.

and getting to know eachother all over again. you want to make you commitment stronger and, both want to work at being a couple. if she isnt ready to forgive and not let resement build up, then all is for not.

sleeping together, is not a real foundation building your future, some one might see this as transition sex. 

transition sex=you are good enough right now until mr.wonderful shows up and you are out like, last weeks trash.

dont mean to be harsh or mean, maybe this isnt the case, but its what i got from the context. if im off base sorry.


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## Shar0001 (Nov 13, 2010)

i understand your pain and impatience; I am going through a similar separation, although there are children involved. We also connect intimately and he will not let that go, he says it proves to him that I still want him and want to try to make things better. However, I am the one who moved out of the family home for financial reasons, and am pining to go back home after 100 days. The feeling of weird limbo is excruciating, and I feel the insensitivity to my pain is horrible on my husbands part. We too are both hurt, and attended counseling. I hope for reconciliation, but hope is difficult to hold onto sometimes. Sorry; no answers for you my friend, but you're not alone.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Try setting some boundries and time lines, write them down as your plan and work the plan. Obveiously our spouse should be on board with this plan. If you both can follow some kind of writen outline it may help.


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