# Monster in law



## Fleetwood (Aug 16, 2021)

I have been married for 10 months. My husband and I are in our mid 40’s. We each have adult children, from previous marriages. We only knew each other a short time, before we got married. I didn’t meet his mother, til afterwards. She didn’t like the fact we got married, before she got to meet me. I see her point, but my husband and I are in our 40’s, with grown children. We didn’t need anyone’s approval. She likes to bring this up when I see her. Which is only a few times, every couple months. My husband and I become grandparents together recently, his son had his first child. My MIL refused to recognize me on social media, when she posted about the baby. Recognized everyone else, including her sister, just not me. I was very hurt by it. My husband had my back, he thought it was odd. I sent her a message about it. She said, she didn’t tag me, thinking my husband would show me the pictures. She was now hurt, thinking I would even think she would forget me. I was polite and ended the conversation. She was dramatic, rude and tried to start a group conversation with me, herself, my husband and her husband. Like seriously. I deleted the conversation and unfriended her. I asked a simple question, certainly don’t need drama. She is now upset I did that. With the holidays approaching and everything, I have to see her. I don’t know how to approach her. My husband simply ignores it all. 🙄🙄🙄


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Fleetwood said:


> I have been married for 10 months. My husband and I are in our mid 40’s. We each have adult children, from previous marriages. We only knew each other a short time, before we got married. I didn’t meet his mother, til afterwards. She didn’t like the fact we got married, before she got to meet me. I see her point, but my husband and I are in our 40’s, with grown children. We didn’t need anyone’s approval. She likes to bring this up when I see her. Which is only a few times, every couple months. My husband and I become grandparents together recently, his son had his first child. My MIL refused to recognize me on social media, when she posted about the baby. Recognized everyone else, including her sister, just not me. I was very hurt by it. My husband had my back, he thought it was odd. I sent her a message about it. She said, she didn’t tag me, thinking my husband would show me the pictures. She was now hurt, thinking I would even think she would forget me. I was polite and ended the conversation. She was dramatic, rude and tried to start a group conversation with me, herself, my husband and her husband. Like seriously. I deleted the conversation and unfriended her. I asked a simple question, certainly don’t need drama. She is now upset I did that. With the holidays approaching and everything, I have to see her. I don’t know how to approach her. My husband simply ignores it all. 🙄🙄🙄


You say you don't want drama, but started a thing because you weren't tagged, she had a reasonable explanation, and now YOU have unfriended her.

Sounds like you are creating drama and a situation you might not come back from with her.

I don’t blame your husband for ignoring the no tagging unfriending drama, it sounds like high school.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Hmm it all sounds a bit immature and teenager-ish to me. Let it go and move on. 

You say you didn't need her approval to marry. No one said you did. I expect she would have just liked to meet her sons wife to be before you got married. Seems perfectly natural to me. It's odd that you didn't meet before.

I don't see any sign of a 'monster in law', just maybe a daughter in law trying to stir up trouble and make something out of nothing.


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## Fleetwood (Aug 16, 2021)

Livvie said:


> You say you don't want drama, but started a thing because you weren't tagged, she had a reasonable explanation, and now YOU have unfriended her.
> 
> Sounds like you are creating drama and a situation you might not come back from with her.
> 
> I don’t blame your husband for ignoring the no tagging unfriending drama, it sounds like high school.


I simply asked why I wasn’t included with my husband, but his aunt was. I believe that was an appropriate question. I also, have the right to unfriend someone, if they are starting drama. I don’t need to put up with that. No one does.


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## Fleetwood (Aug 16, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Hmm it all sounds a bit immature and teenager-ish to me. Let it go and move on.
> 
> You say you didn't need her approval to marry. No one said you did. I expect she would have just liked to meet her sons wife to be before you got married. Seems perfectly natural to me. It's odd that you didn't meet before.
> 
> I don't see any sign of a 'monster in law', just maybe a daughter in law trying to stir up trouble and make something out of nothing.


I did let it go, when I ended the conversation. She started drama, by making a group chat. We didn’t meet, because she is in a different state. I had every right to ask, why I wasn’t included. It’s my husband and our first grandchild.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Fleetwood said:


> I did let it go, when I ended the conversation. She started drama, by making a group chat. We didn’t meet, because she is in a different state. I had every right to ask, why I wasn’t included. It’s my husband and our first grandchild.


She didn't start drama. You did. You and your husband live together, she explained herself, she thought he'd show you the pictures. She started to try to start a family chat about it to try to sort out your fit about not being tagged 😒 and you deleted it then unfriended her? Holy ****.

That's not letting it go, that's starting a forest fire. In which you burned a **** ton of bridges with her.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

She's a monster in law because she didn't tag you on Facebook? Do you realize how immature that sounds? 

Are you still in high school?

I feel sorry for your husband and your mil. You need to apologize for your childish behavior. 

Who cares about a stupid Facebook post!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Fleetwood said:


> I simply asked why I wasn’t included with my husband, but his aunt was. I believe that was an appropriate question. I also, have the right to unfriend someone, if they are starting drama. I don’t need to put up with that. No one does.


Maybe she thought your husband would have shown you as you are his wife? After all she barely knows you. She has known the aunt for many decades. 
Honestly this is the sort of thing that just wouldn't bother me in the least. I doubt I would have even noticed.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Fleetwood said:


> *I simply asked why I wasn’t included with my husband*, but his aunt was. I believe that was an appropriate question. I also, have the right to unfriend someone, if they are starting drama. I don’t need to put up with that. No one does.


You seem to be very thin skinned. Plus, you started it. What,are you, high schooler or something like that? 
I can see it now: you are fuming and upset you were not tagged...how dare she (MIL) not to include me, HOW DARE SHEEEEE. I must extract her confession why. I will send her a message to show her I can't be slided that easily. I'll show her.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Did you get on with your in laws in your first marriage?

What was wrong with her starting a group conversation with the four of you? She probably wanted to sort it all out. You accused her of deliberately not tagging you in a photo when her sister was tagged. This is her sister who she has known her all her life. She barely knows you and the two of you couldn't even be bothered to go and see her before you married. I doubt she even thought about it. 

It's you who are acting badly here. I suggest that you apologise and start making an effort to actually get to know her.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

So your husband has your back. That’s great. He doesn’t pick his mother over you. Even better! He also avoids drama. Winning. 

It comes across that you might like to stir trouble.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

It's too close to the holidays to fix it now. Don't add to the stress & drama or worse cause things to blow up. Grin & bear it. "Kill" her with kindness when you have to interact but stay on the other side of the house as much as possible. 

Sometime after the 2nd week in January call up MIL & invite her out to lunch or to do something else Covid safe not in either of your homes. While doing that, address the issue of her being hurt because she did not meet you before the marriage. Then ask how you two can move past that to be friends. Emphasize that you both love your husband. 

As for her not tagging you on FB, get over it. It's social media. You are not even the bio grandma. You are the loving grandma who will be there for the baby but c'mon.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

OP, go cap in hand to MIL and apologise for over reacting (because you did). Acknowledge her hurt that she didn't meet you until after the wedding - wouldn't you want to be a part of your adult childs life, and meet their future spouse before the wedding? Not to give approval, but to be a part of it all? Ask her what you and your husband and do to help, and then all of you move forward.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I don't think she's coming back; no one applauded her unfriending her MIL because she wasn't tagged on a picture. 

Shaking my head at the silliness of it all, ruining a family relationship because of not getting a Facebook tag.


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