# Im now divorced for 9 months



## mikeloz (Feb 8, 2009)

it's now been nine months since the divorce and little over a year since we have seperated.. long story short i miss her so much. i love her still til this day if not more then the day we married. we were not perfect in our Marriage however i do believe i was at fault more often. i love her so much and it hurts so bad. i have dated a few woman but they all have the same problem, the problem is the're not her, they are not my ex and i cant stop thinking about her,, we had a wonderful child together and hes the light in my life,, i guess that makes it harder when we communicate. god i love her and im scared and dont know how to live with out her.. someone please tell me something, please help me.. im lost, scared and miserable. i know she loves me only because im the father of our son.. i want our family back.. i want my life back..


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

What was the cause of the divorce?

draconis


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## mikeloz (Feb 8, 2009)

after my son was born she turned me off,, i knew that was gping to happen as people told me to expect it, i guess she just found a happier her in this new feeling of her's.. we never tried to fix what was breaking,, who knows why, perhaps we both thought the other one was going to do something.. bottom line is i loved her nmore annd more each day.. i used to try and beat my time home leaving work,, the best i coudl do was 24 mins,, and every day i tried to beat that mark,, its the little things she never noticed... i want to move on and open myself up to someone else and i cant


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## java (Jan 15, 2009)

Have you told her how you feel?


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## jennifer22009 (Sep 19, 2009)

i am scared also , my husband is going to divorce me because the way how i behave with him , pushed to think that i dont love him , but in fact i do love him , and i use to tell him many times i want to divorce u ! but that was just a say ! 
suddenly he is going to do it *can someone contact me and i ll give him my husband number to talk to him 
is it lorgical or i am just saying nosense! i feel i am lost too , i still want him and love him , how can i face the world without him ?!


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## desperado (Sep 19, 2009)

jennifer22009 said:


> i am scared also , my husband is going to divorce me because the way how i behave with him , pushed to think that i dont love him , but in fact i do love him , and i use to tell him many times i want to divorce u ! but that was just a say !
> suddenly he is going to do it *can someone contact me and i ll give him my husband number to talk to him
> is it lorgical or i am just saying nosense! i feel i am lost too , i still want him and love him , how can i face the word without him ?!


Hi, I have done the exact same thing to my husband of 7 years together 11 was the first boy I fell in love with at 12 yo. I was mean, put him down, and often said if it wasn't for our daughter I would divorce him. I feel like I can't breathe without him. He says that he "loves me" but is not in love with me. We have been seperated 6 months and the night before last he stated that he wanted to proceed with divorce. I know I was mean because I was lonely, felt that I was never talked to in a meaningful fashion, and we never had sex. I believe that he is my soul mate, why? I don't know for sure. Is it just a fantasy? I can't figure it out. I feel like I can't breathe without air and he is my air. I have apologized up and down yet then I get mad at myself for being a doormat as I was mean because he was emotionally and physically absent, but I love him??????
Any thoughts>


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## jennifer22009 (Sep 19, 2009)

desperado said:


> Hi, I have done the exact same thing to my husband of 7 years together 11 was the first boy I fell in love with at 12 yo. I was mean, put him down, and often said if it wasn't for our daughter I would divorce him. I feel like I can't breathe without him. He says that he "loves me" but is not in love with me. We have been seperated 6 months and the night before last he stated that he wanted to proceed with divorce. I know I was mean because I was lonely, felt that I was never talked to in a meaningful fashion, and we never had sex. I believe that he is my soul mate, why? I don't know for sure. Is it just a fantasy? I can't figure it out. I feel like I can't breathe without air and he is my air. I have apologized up and down yet then I get mad at myself for being a doormat as I was mean because he was emotionally and physically absent, but I love him??????
> Any thoughts>


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## jennifer22009 (Sep 19, 2009)

yes desperado 

i really do feel the same but you at least u have lived with him and u had kids with him 
he just knew each other one month then we married quick then he went back to his own country , we started the visa application procedures , we stayed contacting online everyday , from the time he come from work untill he leave to go in the morning and i use to fight with him online everyday , without any reasonable cause , i really dont know !!is it becausei was working and i stopped because te visa application time make feel depresion of the long time wating around11 month we were waiting for the visa wich is not yet get aprouved ! and i use tobe mean to him , and finallyhe said to me if that is what i want to divorce him , he is going to do it , i did appolizige and said that i was just saying i never meant it from my heart , i cried ,nor way he decided and he contact the embassy he cancelled the visa and now ariund 1 week or more he stop conatcting me and not coming online , wich i am sure that he is going into process to divorce me , i feel i am lost and i feel like i lost him , he was fine but it was me who create problems without having any problems !!!
i dont think he is going to change his decison ,and i cant imagine that i lost him forever 

he use before to cry and convince to stay with him 
and now he is totally changed , can someon who love stopp loving because of ur alltitude , and never want me again ??
???i just cant beleieve it 
i feel like i am dreaming .....
i beg him and said sorry i wont do that again 
he said that he decided and it was not easy for him to take this step ! but he is going to divorce me 
do u think if i dont sign the paper of divorce who he said he is going to sendit to me soon , the divorce can happen or not ? helpppppppp


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## jennifer22009 (Sep 19, 2009)

the most things hurt me a lot ! is that we spent a lot of days being online everyday ! and lost money for the visa procedures , medical check , and in the end all that ! is lost 
it drive me to be crazy i cant not stand it 
the only way i have is to go back to another country where i use to work before and start my new life there ; but in the same time i am so hurted 

i know it is hard cause i use to fight with him everyday online and accuse of things he dont do it : it is just me who feel scared to loose him so i do that manner wich pushed away from me 
i dont think there is any hope to be together again 
before he use to tell me to stop accusing him and i say yes and then i restart to do it again 
he use to have hope when i use to tell him i dont think that we will be happy toegther he use to tell me if i come to he is country we will go to see a consulting 
Now things is different when i appolizige i told him things will be fine , he said that i am a person who will never change 
what should i do ???!! i dont want to lost him 
my all familly dont know anything about the story ! they think i am still waiting for the visa procedures wich is one of 80% of our problems because if the visa came quick i wont be stressed and i wouldn nice and calm 
it was only a big stress of not being able to be far from him that is why i use to accuse him and dont deal nice to him 

why he dosnt want to forgive me ?!

because he dosnt love me or because he think i am a person who will never change ?? please help


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## desperado (Sep 19, 2009)

Sweetie, we only hurt others when we are hurting or scared, or not feeling good about ourselves. You should contact him and tell him that you will go to counseling for three months every week and then contact him. Ask him to hold off on the divorce for 3 months. It sounds like there is alot of confusion between need for a visa and what is love. \


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## jennifer22009 (Sep 19, 2009)

DO U THINK this gonna work ? after he cancelled my visa ! isnt too late ??because the visa is cancelled now , even if we want each other , how ?and the visa is cancelled ?! help please


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## jennifer22009 (Sep 19, 2009)

thank u desperado 
u know i have wrote him this text *
as u know dear husband , 


i want to save this marriage , and work it out with you,it is never late ! believe me , i am going to do all my efforts to save our marriage and gain the same feelings we had before ,when first we met , it is only in ur hand to give ME that responsibility to make it work ,just agree , 
and i am today a better person for you,for a nice things , just open ur heart to me like u did when first u came to me , and u will see , it will be better than before and more strongeR relation , just allow me to show U , how much i still need u , if the visa is cancelled ,
it is never late , we can find solutions later , the point is the power of me still loving u and u do also ! this is stronger than anything in this life ! dont give up ;


to arrive to a best strenght marriage , we should pass on this steps to learn more 
but give me a chance to show u that 

i want to work on it , i want to save this marriage , and just love u , love u every moment 

just agree , and give me a chance to talk to u about it 

ur wife /i love u with all my heart 

but he ignore it , he never answer me 

i really dont know what to do ? to write him a again a text in his email saying that i am going to see a counselling or just ignore him like he is doing to me 
because i am confused , he dosnt care now not like before , before he use to call me and cry and beg me stay with him , now he dosnt care at all 
i just suggest if i dont care him either , it might give him some curiosity to call me maybye later or what u think ?helllllllllp what to do ?


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