# He Pretty Much Hates Me



## emmdubs (Mar 5, 2008)

My husband has told me how unhappy he is at least 4 times in the last 6 years. He is further and further removed from our relationship. He is constantly telling me that "he won't be putting up with this for much longer" and "I better start looking for an attorney".

I'm miserable. I do everything. Cook, clean, laundry, take care of our child, deal with any residual drama that comes into our lives. (we had some property damage last year). All he does is spend money and complain about how bored he is all the time. Then when we're out of money, complains that we should have more. When we almost lost our home to the ARM mortgage issues, I had to deal with the bank. (We saved the home). All I got was "you better fix this"

I've come to the point where I just don't even respect him anymore. When I'm sick as a dog or have a hard day at work, there are no words of encouragement or support. When I ask him for help with the house, he says that's my job. When I tell him to slow down on the spending, he tells me that he's earned it.

I only stay for our child. But, i don't know how to leave. I know that every single day, I dread going home. The only thing I have to look forward to everyday are the rewards of my job and my beautiful son. 

We are overwhelmed with debt so I don't have to worry about getting any money or assets. I just don't know where to turn... 

Sorry, I'm rambling, but I have NO ONE to talk to.


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

get out of the relationship fast.

draconis


----------



## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Your situation is bad. He expects everything from you but gives nothing in return. You don’t state that you love him or what feelings you may have for him at all. If you are looking to save the relationship then seek counseling. Personal, marriage and debt services. If not and you see no hope for your husband to return to the marriage then make your plans to move on. He has threatened you with divorce several times, not even stating he would file but telling you to get an attorney. He does this because he doesn’t think you will. Maybe you should take him up on it. I wish I could see more hope for your marriage. Please give us more information if possible. You didn’t say how long you’ve been married, how old your son is or if your husband works.


----------



## emmdubs (Mar 5, 2008)

We've been married for almost 9 years. He used to be fun and sweet. And he just kind of became miserable himself. I told him the last time that today "that day" was the last day I was to blame for him being miserable. I don't think he realized that marriage and kids took so much work. 

My son is 6 years old. He knows something is up because I spend most nights on the couch. I just know that he would be so spiteful if I tried to go to a counselor. He has the "rubber" syndrome....you know "everything bounces off me and goes back to you". Everything is always my fault. I think you're right. That he wants me to do it so I'm the one who filed and I'm the one who left....

I don't even know where to start.


----------



## SageMother (Jun 28, 2007)

Why are you worried about being the "bad guy"? Just file. Remember, your son is learning male patterns of behavior while you are worrying about what your husband thinks of you. What will your son be like in about 10 years? Do you want that attitude from your son?

File!


----------



## mmboyzmum (Mar 7, 2008)

I too am in a similar situation with no one to talk to and nowhere to turn. I feel like I have to be it all, do it all for everyone but myself. When I express my feelings to my husband all I get is extreme anger and blame. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old and how do you leave when the kids are crying to not make daddy leave.

I just need someone to talk to, someone to listen. Someone to give me advice where to turn. I am so tired of the screaming, yelling, fighting, heart ache and the tears.


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

mmboyzmum said:


> I too am in a similar situation with no one to talk to and nowhere to turn. I feel like I have to be it all, do it all for everyone but myself. When I express my feelings to my husband all I get is extreme anger and blame. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old and how do you leave when the kids are crying to not make daddy leave.
> 
> I just need someone to talk to, someone to listen. Someone to give me advice where to turn. I am so tired of the screaming, yelling, fighting, heart ache and the tears.


Start your own thread so you do not hijack this one, I promise to respond often.

draconis


----------



## homebizhubby (Apr 28, 2009)

Stop doing anything that will not have an effect on your life if you divorce. Stop cooking, cleaning, tell him the x needs a y. When he says you better do it ask him why. What he says may help you try to figure out if he is just miserable with life and depressed and then taking it out on you or he actually believes its you making him miserable. If its the latter just go out the door b/c he's not changing. As far as finance goes they can repo your car or your house but as the expression goes you cannot get blood from a turnip so when the CC colectors call tell them you don't have the money if you don't have it. When they start their fear campain against you to repay them or they will arrest you ect you can breathe easy knowing the debt is unsecured and they can only hurt your credit. So is your financial history (credit for the next 7 years) worth living the life you live now? Make the decision then take action and don't look back because all you'll see is a powerless grouch without a family he ran off.


----------

