# Help! Not Being A Good Mother



## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

I am having a really difficult time right now. I keep getting these bombs dropped on me and I feel like I start over dealing with this stuff everytime. I feel like I'm not there for my son right now. We are spending a lot of time in our own rooms. Me on my computor and him on his in front of a tv. I feel so sad all the time. I know he knows I'm sad. He knows his dad wants this not me. He doesn't seem to want to be with me anyway and who can blame him. When he's with his dad they have fun and do things. He's fun dad a couple times a week. I know it has been only a month and it will get better but I can't pull myself out of the funk. I guess there won't be anymore bombs dropped as I know that he's still with ow and there is no more limbo and false r. Divorce lawyer today. Advice please. My son deserves a whole me and I want to give him that. He has seen the limbo for a year and a half while I thought we were trying for R. He deserves some happiness and joy and a happy mom. Help please!!


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

cantmove said:


> I am having a really difficult time right now. I keep getting these bombs dropped on me and I feel like I start over dealing with this stuff everytime. I feel like I'm not there for my son right now. We are spending a lot of time in our own rooms. Me on my computor and him on his in front of a tv. I feel so sad all the time. I know he knows I'm sad. He knows his dad wants this not me. He doesn't seem to want to be with me anyway and who can blame him. When he's with his dad they have fun and do things. He's fun dad a couple times a week. I know it has been only a month and it will get better but I can't pull myself out of the funk. I guess there won't be anymore bombs dropped as I know that he's still with ow and there is no more limbo and false r. Divorce lawyer today. Advice please. My son deserves a whole me and I want to give him that. He has seen the limbo for a year and a half while I thought we were trying for R. He deserves some happiness and joy and a happy mom. Help please!!


Are you seeing a Dr.?? When I first separated, I was in panic mode, I felt sick, I couldn't breath, I couldn't eat. I finally saw a Dr. and now I'm on anti-depressants, they really improved my mood. I felt like a crappy mother at the time because I was so "out of it".

Counseling would help as well. And try not to think of him with OW. My ex has a g/f and it makes me boil at times, it's hard.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

I agree with working together go see a Dr and get on some meds if you are not already- I dont know what kind of a state i would be in without the anti-anxiety/depression meds. My son has had a ton of tv time too in the last 8 months when all this crap started. And guess what? Its ok- we wont be like this forever, no one expects you to all of a sudden feel better and change overnight into supermom again. Just start by trying to do one fun thing a week with your son.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I know how you feel - my daughter is 15 and I feel like I'm neglecting her because I can't control my own feelings. It's pretty painful to have your own child comforting you because you can't stop crying

I haven't cooked her a proper meal in a week and it makes me feel like crap - she's a great kid and can look after herself but she shouldn't have to, she's going through it too

it's still very early days for me though (two weeks)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old is your son?

Perhaps you need to start getting out and doing things with him. Start out with things that do not take a lot of energy from you and in which you are both out together but do not have to do a lot.

Taking him to the movies would do that. Chose movies that are fun/funny. That way he's out having fun with mom but you don't really need to entertain him.


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

My son is twelve and frankly he loves tv and video games but I know he would rather be with me more. If its the weekends with me he is with his best friend down the street most of the day but even thst makes me feel guilty because I'm kind of relieved. I just don't always have the energy to engage with him. I think finding out Monday that h was still with ow and now wants to divorce again has thrown me for a loop' I was hoping to avoid meds but I think that might help with the sadness. I went to the lawyer today for the first time and while I feel a little stronger about getting info I need to protect myself the conversation with the lawyer was very overwhelming. I alsmost felt dirty. If I follow his advice and file that puts us one step closer to being strangers and that is very painful to me.


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