# Intimidating... yet wasted intelligence



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I've actually come to realise this through reflection with other threads and such... I'm not physically or emotionally intimidated by my wife, but I am mentally intimidated. To the point I try to find a way to deal with her where she won't be in such an advantage. (My poking thread)

In accordance to present cognitive studies in regards to IQ/EQ etc, it seems my EQ or instincts are highly developed while she's more on the IQ side. Makes me a wise idiot and her the smart fool! In a way guess that makes us really click as a couple, ironically. Funny though, because she's a blonde, and as you know what they say, what do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about 'em but never see 'em hehe.

Dealing with her is odd, I use a lot of empathy, careful observation, and intuition - while she operates like a lean, mean, calculating machine. Somehow it works, and it's a blast when we're not fighting each other -> comes with a feeling that we can take on the world, as sometimes I am just an idiot and she's just a plain fool, so we complete each other heh.

Yet, I wonder if I'm holding her back as well. She's a stay at home mum, though she goes out from time to time and is very social I sometimes wonder about her true potential if it was only realised. She's a woman with a past and I wonder if she can do more then just sit around and give me headaches. She had a dream once but that went out the window for some reason since marriage. Now she's become too comfy.

How does one push the tigress outta the cave? Wait for the kittens to grow? Bah!


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

I think my husband asks the same questions about me. I'm not smarter than he is but I am "wasting" my education - I'm a housewife, not even a stay at home mom. All those years of school and I work from my computer at home, I don't make very much money. I can make as much in an hour as he makes in a day BUT only when the work is there and it's not there all the time so in the end it's not much money and it is kind of a waste. Can't answer your question though. My husband asks it from time to time!


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I've grown a lot and have learned EQ but prior to that my IQ was high and my EQ low. I have a past and became a very successful CPA however I did it before kids. Now I'm a homemaker. Just sent my youngest off to school today. Sniff sniff. And I can tell already it won't take me long to get bored. No I'm not rushing off to find a job <yet> but I'll find something productive to do. For a while though I'm just going to enjoy the break. It will be the first "vacation" I've had in 8 years. 

I tell my husband that I will likely go work pt somewhere like maybe a bank. He jokes that I'm overqualified for that and that in a month I'd probably be running the place. He knows me so well. lol


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> How does one push the tigress outta the cave? Wait for the kittens to grow? Bah!


Observe what tigresses do with their time in the wild.


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## njpca (Jan 22, 2010)

So what does it mean when you a have a wife that has both the high EQ and IQ?


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

njpca said:


> So what does it mean when you a have a wife that has both the high EQ and IQ?


It means you're a lucky man


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## njpca (Jan 22, 2010)

MGirl said:


> It means you're a lucky man


I hope you are being sarcastic


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

njpca said:


> I hope you are being sarcastic


ERrr, no. 

High EQ means she aware of and in control of her emotions, among other things. You wouldn't have a wife who is an emotional roller coaster. 

Do you see high EQ and IQ as a problem?

Here is what EQ measures: http://www.markoconsulting.com/Learning_Development/eqmeasure.html


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

njpca said:


> I hope you are being sarcastic


She absolutely is not. A woman with a high IQ and a high EQ is quite the catch.


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## njpca (Jan 22, 2010)

Sorry, I was bit confused from all the definitions and such. I would say my wife is polar opposite ends of each (IQ: Hi, EQ: Lo). She does a great job of controlling conversations but poor job handling her emotions.

Thanks for the clarification


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

njpca said:


> Sorry, I was bit confused from all the definitions and such. I would say my wife is polar opposite ends of each (IQ: Hi, EQ: Lo). She does a great job of controlling conversations but poor job handling her emotions.
> 
> Thanks for the clarification


Haha! That's me in a nutshell. Well, maybe not polar opposite ends. I feel for you, though. Thankfully, EQ can be raised and improved on.


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## njpca (Jan 22, 2010)

Then the true question then is how does one raise the EQ? How can you help your partner in doing so?

Sounds like you have been working on that. Advice from your personal experiences? 

For my wife, it seems that therapy is supposed to do that, but all it's done is for her to get validation in all her emotions.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Heh, to be honest I don't know whether it's a good thing if the missus has both a high IQ/EQ. If she does, she's gonna steamroll over me! 

With her high IQ she already corners me into checkmates before I know it from time to time, and I have to 'cheat' to break out of it; such as poking and making her lose control -> as then it's my home ground - where EQ wins the day! :rofl:

Besides I like how we are pretty much chasing each other around in circles pulling at each other's tails. Nonetheless though, I wouldn't mind her with a high EQ if only she can control that Darth Wifey side of her sometimes.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Yet, I wonder if I'm holding her back as well. She's a stay at home mum, though she goes out from time to time and is very social I sometimes wonder about her true potential if it was only realised. She's a woman with a past and I wonder if she can do more then just sit around and give me headaches. She had a dream once but that went out the window for some reason since marriage. Now she's become too comfy.


How do you know that her dream hasn't changed, and that she isn't fulfilled by your marriage right now? Maybe her dream is only delayed because she has better things to do with you and your daughter right now.



RandomDude said:


> How does one push the tigress outta the cave? Wait for the kittens to grow? Bah!


Tigresses in the wild are notorious for not leaving a den full of cubs unless they are threatened - and then they will only leave and fight a predator to the death, if necessary. They invest a lot of time and effort in to raising their young because of the harshness of the conditions they typically live in.

Is your wife happy being a stay at home mom? Do you encourage her to explore her potential outside of that role?

I have to admit, RandomDude, that you guys have a fascinating sounding marriage and interactions and sometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall in your house for just a day.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Enchantment said:


> Tigresses in the wild are notorious for not leaving a den full of cubs unless they are threatened - and then they will only leave and fight a predator to the death, if necessary. They invest a lot of time and effort in to raising their young because of the harshness of the conditions they typically live in.


Interesting observation and very true. I take my job as homemaker very seriously. It's unlikely I will leave the "den" until I'm certain my cubs are mature enough to fend for themselves. Thankfully my husband supports me in this. He doesn't push me to do anything other than what I want to do. He's awesome that way. We had this very conversation yesterday where he didn't waver. He said he didn't care if I ever worked again. Gosh I love him.


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