# I Seriously Want to Smash Her Stupid Phone



## Quigster

My wife is completely addicted to her phone. I hate that they can do everything, now. When she's not texting, she's checking Facebook or playing games. She does it during commercial breaks when we're trying to watch TV together. Sometimes she'll do it in the middle of a program. Back when we used to work the same shift, she'd do it if we were on lunch together. 

I really hate the consumer model for smart phone games in particular. It's not like the Nintendo games that I grew up on, where you get to the final level, you save the princess, and then you're done. Her games never really "end." You just keep having to grow more crops, or kill more zombies, or whatever game she's currently playing. Some of the games actually punish you for taking a break and not playing, because then all your crops die or whatever. 

In a moment of weakness I actually sabotaged her charging cable recently. Not my best moment, I will freely admit. As far as she knew, suddenly the cord wouldn't charge her phone. She got it replaced that very same day.

I actually don't own a smart phone. I have basic flip phone I can use to text her, or keep on hand if I need to make an emergency call. I also don't use Facebook.

I can understand how technology can be very addicting (I used to obsess over video games as a teenager, and these days I probably do spend a little too much time on the Internet) but when I try to set her up with what I consider a "real" video game; i.e., something she can play on the big TV in the living room so I can at least watch, she's never interested. Nope, got to play on that tiny little screen that only she can see.

Also, when I'm trying to get some writing done or otherwise concentrating, suddenly her phone pipes up with some stupid YouTube video going at full blast, playing on that crappy little phone speaker. It's the most obnoxious thing ever. 

What's funny is that years ago, before she got her smart phone, there was a point when I found a new computer game I liked. I had been playing it for about two weeks when she came over all annoyed and asked, "So, uh, how long are you going to be playing this game for, exactly?"

Two weeks.


Quigster


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## bandit.45

I read a magazine article recently where a guy is divorcing his wife over her phone addiction. No infidelity with another man, but she is basically having an affair with her Galaxy. She is trying to get him to change his mind by going to therapy, but she still won't get rid of the phone. Crazy.


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## gouge_away

Compulsive phone attachment. Omg that sh¡t drives me nuts. I have wanted to sabotage cell phones. About feeling worthless and ignored, I spent my wedding night starring at the back of her cellphone. Lol.


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## Satya

I can be addicted to my phone at times, but I am getting into the habit of purposely leave it home if I'm going out to eat. 

I have the note 4 but don't use it for games, mainly work apps. 

OP, have you been clear about her phone use bothering you? How have you addressed it with your SO?


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## Fozzy

I almost ran over a woman this morning when she stepped out in front of traffic against the light. Nose glued to phone. She glanced up as me and five other cars screeched to a halt, then she looked back at the phone, turned around and stepped back up on the curb. Never stopped doing whatever she was doing.

smh.


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## soccermom2three

Gaming has always been an issue in my marriage. My husband was a heavy gamer. About 3 years ago he started playing a game on his phone. It was so obnoxious. If he wasn't playing Battlefield or whatever on his desktop, he was constantly on his phone. It was always in his hand. Playing during family time or taking it to the bathroom. I really started getting suspicious especially after reading here, lol. It was one of those games where if you don't come back within a certain time your village will be attacked. Me and kids would be waiting for him to go somewhere and he's finishing up playing so no one will steal his stuff. So stupid. Then he was joining guilds with other people and they would text through chat feature in the game. I'm sure there were women he was texting. The whole thing was just inappropriate and taking away from the marriage and family.

Finally I just sat him down and told the whole thing was getting out of hand. It was pretty emotional. He agreed and deleted the game. He actually thanked me because even he felt he was getting addicted and out of control.


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## Quigster

Satya said:


> OP, have you been clear about her phone use bothering you? How have you addressed it with your SO?


She usually turns it around on me. I say she spends too much time on her phone; she says I do the same thing with the computer. I feel like I'm working on constructive projects, not just playing mindless games with no ending in sight (I do music editing, write e-books, color artwork, etc.) but I do spend many hours on the computer so I can't argue with her. 


Quigster


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## EleGirl

Have her get a Bluetooth ear piece so at least she can use that and you don't have to hear the videos booming. 

If you are on the computer a lot and she's on the phone a lot, perhaps you two can establish electronic free times and places. For example no electronics at the table while eating meals, at home, at restaurants, etc. .. that's unless there is an emergency or something that you BOTH agree is important.


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## Satya

Quigster said:


> She usually turns it around on me. I say she spends too much time on her phone; she says I do the same thing with the computer. I feel like I'm working on constructive projects, not just playing mindless games with no ending in sight (I do music editing, write e-books, color artwork, etc.) but I do spend many hours on the computer so I can't argue with her.
> 
> 
> Quigster


Sounds like it's time to inject a new activity into the relationship you can do together and bond to. Maybe something that gets you both outside, but definitely something that requires physical touch. Playing phone/computer games makes it easy to lose that closeness... I'm an ex gamer formerly married to a (likely still) addicted gamer and this was a huge problem for us.


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## ReturntoZero

I am in complete agreement. I do not have a smart phone, my STBXW does and she is addicted to it (among-st other things). I also get on the Internet. I told her my net time will decrease when your phone time does. It worked for awhile.


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## Quigster

EleGirl said:


> Have her get a Bluetooth ear piece so at least she can use that and you don't have to hear the videos booming.


Oooh, good idea. Christmas is just around the corner! Thanks for the suggestion.


Quigster


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## gouge_away

Logitech makes Bluetooth Stereo headphones reasonably cheap, I use them for everything audio, gaming, listening to music, phone calls. The model I have Logitech H800 cost me under $40 at Walmart.

5 years now and they are still kicking butt.


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## Tobin

Quigster said:


> My wife is completely addicted to her phone. ..
> What's funny is that years ago, before she got her smart phone, there was a point when I found a new computer game I liked. I had been playing it for about two weeks when she came over all annoyed and asked, "So, uh, how long are you going to be playing this game for, exactly?"


The phone is not the problem, it's only a symptom. A symptom of a much greater problem. 

Some time ago your wife was annoyed that you spent so much time on the phone - and not with her. Now, it's the other way around. 

You need to explore this more. Much more.


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## JohnA

Walking and texting is far more dangerous then droning and texting.


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## Quigster

Tobin said:


> Some time ago your wife was annoyed that you spent so much time on the phone - and not with her. Now, it's the other way around.


An interesting theory, but I don't see how that could possibly be the case. Just about the only time I touch my phone is to text my wife when one of us is at work and the other his home. 

You're probably right that it's representative of something bigger, though.


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## Tobin

Quigster said:


> An interesting theory, but I don't see how that could possibly be the case. Just about the only time I touch my phone is to text my wife when one of us is at work and the other his home.
> 
> You're probably right that it's representative of something bigger, though.


I meant to say that some time ago she was annoyed with you because you spent too much time playing video games.


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## Mrs.Submission

bandit.45 said:


> I read a magazine article recently where a guy is divorcing his wife over her phone addiction. No infidelity with another man, but she is basically having an affair with her Galaxy. She is trying to get him to change his mind by going to therapy, but she still won't get rid of the phone. Crazy.


How ridiculous! I enjoy playing with my phone but I know not to do that when I am spending time with my husband. He isn't afraid to demand that I put my phone away when I forget.


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## samyeagar

Mrs.Submission said:


> How ridiculous! I enjoy playing with my phone but I know not to do that when I am spending time with my husband. *He isn't afraid to demand that I put my phone away when I forget*.


My wife and I finally had the go round about her phone this weekend. She's not into gaming on it, but once you take time out for necessities like sleeping and work, she quite literally can't go 10 minutes without checking Facebook. The only exception to that is when we are having sex, but as soon as we are done, she is right back on it.

To the bolded above, for myself and I suspect many others, the whole "when I forget" is where the problem is. It is not a good feeling at all to know that something else can make our spouses forget us. Knowing that, given the choice, our spouses would rather spend time on their phone than with us. Sure, the phone can be taken away, deactivated, parental controls put on it, but in a partnership of equals, one should not have to treat the other like a child. They are grown adults who make their own decisions, and it is hurtful when they decide that their phone is more important.


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## happy as a clam

Oh, I see christin made it to this thread too.

So glad to have this important "cyber warlock" information .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JukeboxHero

I'll admit, I've also had issues being too addicted or distracted by my phone or ipad. I've been wondering if there's a way to QUIT Cold turkey. Sometimes I also leave my phone at home


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## RoadToHappiness

This reminds me of me, only I don't do the phone at dinner or meals, I don't typically go on it for more than 20-30 minutes at a time unless I am in the bath or something, and I am trying to fill my time with anything I can because my husband ignores me for actual video games. 

So my question is, have you suggested doing fun things with her? Board games, does she take it on date nights? Etc.?


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## btterflykisses

Oh no that is awful. Maybe she needs to put the phone away after a certain time.


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## RandomDude

gouge_away said:


> About feeling worthless and ignored, I spent my wedding night starring at the back of her cellphone. Lol.


Lol! WTF?!


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## Spicy

I feel ya. We both work from home, and are co-owners of a company, in addition to H being a VP of a large company. We are ALWAYS connected. We CANNOT wait to retire and go off the grid. We never get a day off. He even had to work on our wedding day. It is all so absurd and wrong! We are ridiculous, as are our children. It is epidemic!


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## jimrich

Well, if you two were FRIENDS, none of this would be going on! google: relationship skills and become loving friends!


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## browser

Had a feeling @jimrich would be the last poster on this thread.

Thanks to him or her I now check the thread dates so I don't waste my time posting on zombie threads.

Is there a rule against this sort of thing?


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## jb02157

This is the very reason I hate technology. Even at work people would rather e-mail then talk to you in person. I should have been born in the 40's. I seriously would have like life better then. Just think, life without computers or damned cell phones. That would be great.


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