# What's the deal with getting "banned"?



## credamdóchasgra

Not that I'm looking to have it happen to me, of course.

But I see that Conrad is banned, and he's been very helpful to me so I'm hoping it's temporary?

What gets someone banned?? 
And if they are, can they still receive PM's?


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## LonelyNLost

You get banned for not following community posting guidelines. Usually, it's disrespectful posting. Seems on this forum, though, that banning is temporary. Maybe a week? Another forum I'm on, once you're banned you are gone for good.


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## Chris H.

People only get banned when they violate forum guidelines, and it is usually temporary the first time. We progressively make them longer if they continue to violate the guidelines. It's kind of like a 3 strikes / out policy, but we make exceptions.

One exception is brand new users who sign up and immediately start calling people names and posting disrespectful comments. That will usually get them banned permanently. 

When it's a long time user, we are a little more lenient.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...117-posting-guidelines-please-read-first.html


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## Mom6547

I don't really get the "disrespectful" thing. Certainly there is nothing useful about spamming or ads. But one persons disrespect is another person's dope slap. Harsh treatment, oh and a very healthy dispensing of disrespect, went a long way to get through my thick head on another group. 

But that is me. This is not my group, and I don't make the rules.


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## Chris H.

If someone gets banned for disrespectful posts it's usually very obvious stuff, like name calling, racist or sexist remarks, etc. 

We're not going to let the site degenerate into those kinds of arguments, because nothing good comes of them, and they offend many people.

"Reality checks" and differences of opinions are not disrespectful, and should be allowed.


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## Mom6547

Different strokes for different folks. It's your group.


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## credamdóchasgra

I didn't see anything inflammatory or disrespectful coming from Conrad (mustve missed something), and I got a lot of help and support from him, so I do hope it's temporary.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WadeWilson

Seems most of the mens clubhouse crew has gotten a banishment... So now I feel I choose my words a little more wisely...


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## greenpearl

I got banned for totally interesting reasons(flirtatious, innocent mistakes), never been rude to anybody. One time I was harshly scolded by my husband, he was shocked that his wife was that silly; one time he laughed out loud because he was not surprised at all, he knows what kind of wife he has. I am notorious! The bans helped me understand what is going on on this site. 

I like the strict rules this site has, it helps people behave and show their nice side to people instead of their ugly side, I dislike all the name calling and stupid arguments!

I can't stay at other forums because of the rude people there!

For a short while my husband asked me to find a different forum to go to, he doesn't like it when people are not nice to me! He knows that his wife has a kind heart and all she wants is to help people!


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## AvaTara539

I have just been back from being banned (IDK if greenpearl can do that as a forum supporter but I'm positive it was her if so), when another woman on the same post was being *at the very least* as rude and disrespectful as I was, not only to me but to several others was not also banned. I believe this was because she was siding with the opinion of the individual who posted the 'exemplary wife' topic, who just so happens to be the forum supporter I had already mentioned. This other woman was on an absolute tirade across multiple topics and was never banned, but when I questioned whether I felt it was a good example in parenting to be submissive to your husband and co-dependent I was kicked out for the week. This seems entirely unfair.


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## Amplexor

Only a moderator can initiate a ban. I have no idea what your offense was but any time you feel there is a poster being rude please report them. We want the forum to be a place where people can come for advice and not be harassed.


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## AvaTara539

Amplexor said:


> Only a moderator can initiate a ban. I have no idea what your offense was but any time you feel there is a poster being rude please report them. We want the forum to be a place where people can come for advice and not be harassed.


Thanks for the info!


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## greenpearl

AvaTara539 said:


> I have just been back from being banned (IDK if greenpearl can do that as a forum supporter but I'm positive it was her if so), when another woman on the same post was being *at the very least* as rude and disrespectful as I was, not only to me but to several others was not also banned. I believe this was because she was siding with the opinion of the individual who posted the 'exemplary wife' topic, who just so happens to be the forum supporter I had already mentioned. This other woman was on an absolute tirade across multiple topics and was never banned, but when I questioned whether I felt it was a good example in parenting to be submissive to your husband and co-dependent I was kicked out for the week. This seems entirely unfair.


I posted that thread mainly to help! If you don't like that particular sensitive word, I can't do anything. It doesn't bother me! 

By the way, I deleted that thread too! It was such a nice thread, just because of some anger there, I deleted it! 

I have learned not to read offending posts or at least not to let them bother me! 

TAM is the only forum which bans people who are rude and flirtatious, based on my little experience with Internet and forums! 

I love TAM because they have strict rules and they want people to show their nice side rather than their ugly side. 

And I have learned, on a public forum like this, you meet all kinds of people! If you have to fight with everybody who disagrees with you, then there will be a lot of fights!


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## SimplyAmorous

As I understand, anyone who reads posts & is a member here can report another (if they know how to do it -private message a Mod??) - they may not even be on that particular thread, you just never know. 

I Could never be a Moderator because I LOVE all the debating, It really doesn't bother me when people get a little rude, cause someone else will just come back & try to win them over intellectually. I kinda get a charge out of it all. So I would SUCK as a Mod, never getting rid of the flaming posts. 

Never wonder if I report you, cause I wouldn't report anyone. Drama on the forums makes it a little fun. I know , I know, this is not a nice example to have, but sometimes I think they are a little too strict. Just my opionion.


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## greenpearl

SA,

Not everyone has the kind of patience and understanding you have! Among people who I know, I think you are the one who gets offended the least here on TAM!

If this forum allowed rudeness, it wouldn't be a place where people can seek advice. I would have disappeared long time ago! 

I am not interested in talking to people who can't control their tongue or fingers. People can disagree, but at least be more polite when they disagree. I am happy when people agree with me. I am OK when people disagree with me politely! 

Ha ha ha............................this is me!


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## Syrum

SimplyAmorous said:


> As I understand, anyone who reads posts & is a member here can report another (if they know how to do it -private message a Mod??) - they may not even be on that particular thread, you just never know.
> 
> I Could never be a Moderator because I LOVE all the debating, It really doesn't bother me when people get a little rude, cause someone else will just come back & try to win them over intellectually. I kinda get a charge out of it all. So I would SUCK as a Mod, never getting rid of the flaming posts.
> 
> Never wonder if I report you, cause I wouldn't report anyone. Drama on the forums makes it a little fun. I know , I know, this is not a nice example to have, but sometimes I think they are a little too strict. Just my opionion.


I agree, and I sometimes feel that debates and peoples opinions are taken the wrong way. I don't think everything that is reported should be deleted.


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## greenpearl

Syrum said:


> I agree, and I sometimes feel that debates and peoples opinions are taken the wrong way. I don't think everything that is reported should be deleted.


Syrum,

TAM has its own rules, based on my observation, they won't let any individuals influence them!


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## Catherine602

I think the careful moderation of this forum is one reason it is so active. People come to the forum for help or to work out some demons standing in the way of a having a better relationship. the number of new people who stay and work out problems and remain to help others I think is a testament to the quality of the moderation. 

Compliments to the moderators, your work and dedication is greatly appreciated. )
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous

mommy22 said:


> Trust me, we aren't swayed by anything-- reported posts or not. There have been reported posts where we've respectfully responded that no forum rules were violated and thus saw no reason to ban.


This is good ^^^^ I really don't see where the Mods here are too biased with their views. It is less about what you say & feel, but more to do with Hi-jacking (I have had posts deleted for this & responding to hi-jacks), run away chat room type responses -or if one is outrightly insulting another "personally", instead of respectively disagreeing with their Views. 

This is VERY fair really- and needed. 

And then some of us can get a little carried away in the "naughtiness" department. Greenpearl's one time banning, that was simply a classic! I am still laughing! :rofl::rofl::rofl: Hey, to me, that is a huge step above being banned for being obnoxious to other posters. Ha ha 

Moderation is needed on any successful Forum, or it is a disaster. My husband used to belong to a John Deere Yahoo group & some irate fundamentalist Jihadist was posting rampantly how all Americans are going to DIE, can you imagine! 

Another thing I love & appreciate here is they allow internet links, and photos if we want to add one. Many forums don't - and that is just a shame. 

There are times I have read things here & my jaw drops, but yet I am intrigued. My feeling is - with every disgrunted angry poster, there is a STORY behind those words, most are speaking out of some pain. I am the type who does not take this personally, but finds it a "challenge" to uncover the good somehow, I think we all have some good in us. 

I also feel we can learn from our harshest critics at times. But yeah, we should refrain from personal attacks. THat is to the Mods discretion. They do their job well .


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## greenpearl

SimplyAmorous said:


> And then some of us can get a little carried away in the "naughtiness" department. Greenpearl's one time banning, that was simply a classic! I am still laughing! :rofl::rofl::rofl: Hey, to me, that is a huge step above being banned for being obnoxious to other posters. Ha ha


It leaves a good memory for us! 

My husband and I always laugh when we mention it again! 

If they hadn't banned me, it wouldn't have been this funny! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:



I have been called many names( A sexist ninny, a man hater, a dumb, a slave, mafia...............) because I am active and I have a totally different opinion from a lot of posters here, sometimes I puzzled a lot why they got angry and they had to call me names, I puzzle a lot why they are so sensitive about certain words. I never tried to insult anybody, I post posts for everybody to read, it is my opinion, and a random poster would get angry and call me out. I am very glad that TAM try to restrict people with their insulting words. 

I don't get upset with people if they have a different opinion. 

I hate all the name calling! But I know if I want to be vocal, this is something I have to face. Or I will just be quiet!


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## Deejo

To add on to Mommy's post ...

Content removed by mods is not always, or only, reported content.

Posts that are discovered and deemed against forum guidelines will be removed ... this may or may not result in a warning or a ban. :banned2:


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## nice777guy

I've threatened to eat someone on the board.

And no - it wasn't in the sex forums.

Will I get banned?


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## Almostrecovered

I'm still here!!

muhahahahahahahahaha!!!


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## Runs like Dog

I mod a board on a completely different topic and if I ban someone it's for eternity.


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## joe kidd

Runs like Dog said:


> I mod a board on a completely different topic and if I ban someone it's for eternity.


I also mod a board. I will give a 10 day 1st time . 2nd time and the hammer drops.


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## nice777guy

But - I'm not sure that there is any "rule" here about eating people.

I'm probably not actually going to go through with it - but I don't really want "him" to know that just yet.

Now - if I had threatened to "eat" a woman on the Sex forums openly, I'm guessing I'd be gone by now!!!


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## Runs like Dog

If our plane goes down the Andes I am so going to eat people. No joke.


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## TimeHeals

Runs like Dog said:


> If our plane goes down the Andes I am so going to eat people. No joke.


Donner, Party of nine. Your table is ready.


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## Runs like Dog

Gotta get the chubs before they waste away to gamey.


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## that_girl

The colonists of Jamestown (1500s) became cannibalistic when they ran out of food. lol. Thought I'd through that out there.


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## joe kidd

that_girl said:


> The colonists of Jamestown (1500s) became cannibalistic when they ran out of food. lol. Thought I'd through that out there.


Wonder if geese eat their own.







:rofl: I love that pic had to use it again.


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## that_girl

:rofl: Stupid geese!


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## Parrothead

mommy22 said:


> Every incident is a case by case basis and is reviewed by the mods with careful consideration of forum guidelines. When someone is banned, you can be sure forum guidelines have been violated.


My wife was banned for "questioning forum again rather than reporting post/inciting mods" (whatever that means). I don't see a rule against that particular activity in the rules.

What she said was in response to another poster (who happens to be on this thread) demanding that I not be allowed to participate on the thread. Mrs. P. responded with something to the effect that the whole thread should be taken down as a troll post, as it was rather inflammatory. 

And she was banned, for a non-infraction. The thread was taken down not long after.

And I am not worried about being eaten.


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## Catherine602

I am sure Mrs P is happy about that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy

Parrothead said:


> And I am not worried about being eaten.


Are you sure?


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## nice777guy

joe kidd said:


> Wonder if geese eat their own.
> 
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> :rofl: I love that pic had to use it again.


I hate geese...anything with beaks really.


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## Catherine602

Could be like Jonas who spent 3 days and 3 nights in the belly of a whale - he got spit out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy

joe kidd said:


> Wonder if geese eat their own.
> 
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> :rofl: I love that pic had to use it again.


He even has little sharp things - look like teeth - on his tongue!

Bet whales don't have teeth on their tongues...


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## Parrothead

Catherine602 said:


> I am sure Mrs P is happy about that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well, that sort of post is just what I have come to expect from you, Cate...


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## Parrothead

nice777guy said:


> Are you sure?


Not by you!


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## nice777guy

Parrothead said:


> Not by you!


Its this kind of confidence that will one day lead to your downfall...


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## Parrothead

nice777guy said:


> Its this kind of confidence that will one day lead to your downfall...


I don't need confidence to fall down, I can tell you that much, I have plenty of ways to fall down.


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## Catherine602

Parrothead said:


> Well, that sort of post is just what I have come to expect from you, Cate...


Why, what have I done?? {
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602

nice777guy said:


> He even has little sharp things - look like teeth - on his tongue!
> 
> Bet whales don't have teeth on their tongues...


If they do they cover them with their lips.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

:rofl:


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## Catherine602

Parrothead said:


> I don't need confidence to fall down, I can tell you that much, I have plenty of ways to fall down.


Let me count the ways: with grace, agility, aplomb, athleticism ....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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