# hubby vs. kids



## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

It is a strange situation but my husband and I get along good but when u bring our kids into the picture he turns into an idiot. He gets frustrated easily with them and if he has a bad day they are the ones who he takes it out on. If I bring that up to him he is in denial and comes up with why he is upset with them. Yes, youc a be upset but you shouldn't turn into captain jackass. He has a hard day @ work and they feel the wrath of his frustrations. We seem to get along fine when they are not around. If they r he just keeps finding things for them to do. Its like the kids cannot relax when he is around.
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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Sounds like my childhood. This will affect them their entire lives. It will also affect their relationship with him, and even with you if they start to resent you for not protecting them from his wrath.

If nothing else, get them some counseling.


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

How is your relationship with your father now? I have wanted to leave several times. I am just afraid to.
It takes $ to survive. Yes I do work full time. I always talk to my 10 yr old son and he says he hates him. He wants me to find someone who wants to be with him too.
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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Fraught. And I'm 53. My brother is 58 and hates him more than I do.

I spent my childhood praying for my mother to divorce my dad. By the time of her death, she also was bitterly regretting that she had never left him.

Yes, it takes money to survive, and planning. If you said you loved him, then that's one thing, but if you don't, there are plenty of resources that can help you do the planning to survive on your own.

I'm sorry that you are in this fix. Give your son a big hug from me.


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## An72 (Jul 1, 2012)

You should get him seriously to talk about it. I really do not care if he is in denial or not. Make him think and talk, tape him, film him, what ever – but that can’t continue for the rest of theirs childhood. Trust me - it can escalate enormously in angry management problem, special in puberty if you do not take emergency measures from the beginning. Just don’t stop – drill on the spot to the moment when he gets it, and then go together to a psychologist to advice you two exactly how to proceed. This are skills that he should learn…I hope I am wrong…


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## bugmenot (Jul 4, 2012)

Does he have any kids of his own? Do you have any kids together?

Does the boy look just like his father? If so, then he is a constant reminder of your past.

Does your son see his father? What is that relationship like?

Your husband married YOU, not your children. If you had any more during your current marriage, it is perfectly OK to favor your own biological children.


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## Cogo123 (Jan 5, 2012)

My husband and I have been married form 20yrs. Both boys are ours. He doesn't favor either one differently. He treats them equally bad. We ultimately will end up together in the end but for now we live all together.
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## bugmenot (Jul 4, 2012)

oops sorry, I was confused!


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

My dad was a bit like that. I never had a real vacation from school and had to help out with some construction work from the age of 14. Showed me that life takes hard work and if you want to do better you need to work hard. Made me into a man.

And yes, i hated him sometimes but now i see his point. Women are always pampering boys. Although with good intentions that usually leads them to be less secure men and softies to get run over by real life. 

As long as your hubby ain't abusive to them and is just making them into men you should not interfere. Unless you want to raise some weaklings. Your choice.


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