# Going through a very Messy Divorce



## jwoodring331 (Apr 13, 2009)

Well for starters My wife and I have only been married for 4 months now and for the past month she has been 300 miles away and has no plans on coming back.

She left without saying a word other than she wanted a divorce, packed everything she could, even had an ex boyfriend help her move it all out while I was gone and split. That was the first thing she did that hurt badly other than just plain leaving me, letting another man into my house.

I found out where she was staying before she left to move back toward her family and friends and I tried talking with her and she just wouldn't say anything to me. She wouldn't even open the door and look me in the eye to talk.

Previous to this she had left for a week to go visit her family back in Albany and to "Think things over". When she came back and I think this is the only reason she came back was to have an abortion. I paid for it and took care of her for 3 days. Previous to that she had a miscarriage that was pretty hard on the both of us, at the time we both really wanted the baby and were very excited. Then we both lost our jobs working for the same company! Ya what a ****ty turn of events. The miscarriage was due to a false pregnancy and the Doctor told her she probably wouldn't be able to have children that she would keep miscarrying. She was afraid of loosing another one again so she wanted the abortion against my protest and concerns. Come to find out after she had the abortion it was a good pregnancy and the baby was doing just fine. She didn't tell me I found out from one of her friends!

Anyway on top of that I found out she was being really sneaky with her cell phone and laptop, every time I would come in the room she would hide whatever she was doing...Ya I know she was doing something wrong cheating..in the process of cheating.... or doing something she knows I wouldn't approve of! Anyway she left took my couch our TV..pretty much everything including my damn socks. Left me with Utility bills and rent and insurance to pay on my own with what little money I am receiving on Unemployment. We were deff a two family income even while working and she pretty much screwed me over. On top of that I have a 9 month old son which was from before her that I can barely take care of now due to lack of money.

I started going to counseling because I thought there was sometime I did wrong in the marriage and I had no clue what it was and I was and still am messed up from her leaving. She was the love of my life and I did everything I could for her and that she asked for! She doesn't return phone calls and she even turns it off most of the time and refuses to talk to me or anyone else. Pretty sure it is because she is with someone else.

So she finally talks to me a few days ago and tells me she wasn't ready to be married and she just wants to be single again and live her life. That I did nothing wrong and she just wants to be near her family and friends. Come to find out while I am sitting at home worrying about her myself and how I am going to afford anything she is out having a good time pretty much every night. The worst part is she calls me every night too right before she goes to sleep and she is always either drunk or sounds really messed up! I don't know what to do... I thought I was the one who needed help, but I am pretty she she needs to check her self in somewhere. I told her I would always love her and she would always be welcome back home. I even mailed her a priority package with the keys to our house ( she left them when she left) and a long letter apologizing for everything and anything I thought I could have done more or better. Nothing is working or getting through to her.

She is a good woman but I just don't know what went wrong or happened in her head. All I know is now I need a lawyer because she is filing for a divorce and I am pretty much screwed in the money department. I suppose I could get a public defender but I don't even qualify for public assistance because they say I make to much on my Unemployment which is a crock of crap.

I am looking for answers, Help, donations, anything... I am 29 years old and have been screwed over by the 1 person in my life I thought actually loved and cared for me the way I loved and cared for them. I still go to counseling twice a week and mainly talk about how worried I am about her now since I know now that it wasn't my fault. I think I am going to keep going because to be honest it does release a lot of stress and hurt just talking to someone a few times a week.

If anyone would like to help me out even just talking through email or over the phone it would be a huge help for me. I am a good man so I thought and I was to giving and in the end I ended up getting hurt!

I can be reached at [email protected] and if you would like to talk over the phone I would be more than happy to give out my number through email of course.. not leaving that in a forum. If you know of anyone or you your self could help me I am asking as I have all my family and friends( which isn't much of a help) for any amount of money to help out. I am not lieing I am pretty much up ****s creek without a paddle. I live in Buffalo NY and there isn't crap for work here and even if I found a job out of the area I couldn't even take it because I can't move away from my son. My email address is the same as my paypal. 

Like I said anyone would like to talk or has gone through something similar or the same as me feel free to email me. I find that talking helps more than one would think!


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