# Forgotten how to initiate sex!!?



## salt (Aug 26, 2012)

I've been with my partner for nearly three years. He is not interested in sex at all, I used to initiate but always get knocked back. I make myself look nice, I do my hair and face and always wear nice clothes. I can't bring it up why he has gone off sex but he usually has said in the past, 'i am interested' then shrugs his shoulders, just blowing off the convo. He thinks by me bringing it up I'm critisising him. 
I thought I'd try initiating again to see how he reacts, but I've forgotten how!!! I don't get it, I'll be sitting next to him and he smells good and I want him but I'll put my hand on him and kiss him but he'll carry on watching the tv and i feel rejected. I'll put my face in his n kiss him but looks round me. Am I doing anything wrong?? 
Are there any recommendations to how I can ask again why his sex drive is so low? 
Thanks in advance!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

get nakie. Always works for me!


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## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

Turn the tv off, get "nakie"  and straddle him... letting him know how good he smells, how sexy he looks, what you want to do to him, what you would like him to do to you....


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Just turn him on and tease him, that's what I encourage my wife to do. Sometimes all she has to do is wear a T-shirt and nothing else and nothing below and boom...

BEAST MODE


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## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

You could also cook dinner in nothing but an apron, join him in the shower, give him a massage... with a happy ending


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

lovingsummer said:


> You could also cook dinner in nothing but an apron


That's HOT too! 



> join him in the shower


Make sure you have handles! Those slips hurt like hell! >.<



> give him a massage... with a happy ending


Or touch him everywhere except where he wants it and watch him go nuts xD


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## kl84 (Jan 26, 2012)

I was going to say the same thing....get NAKED LOL.

He sounds like he might be playing hard to get....maybe he wants you to REALLY take charge. 

Take your clothes off, climb on top, and MAKE him grab some boob and butt. MAKE HIM. How can he turn that down? LOL.


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## lovingsummer (Jul 27, 2012)

A nice slow sexy strip tease wouldn't hurt (then you'll be nakie at the end) a lap dance, getting very close but not letting him touch you, touch him everywhere except THERE... *good one RandomDude* put your nipples close to his mouth, but don't let him put his mouth on them, straddle him and rub on him or f*ck with his clothes on.... If none of that works... hmmm... check for a pulse


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well... for spoiled-hard-to-please dudes like myself... a naked woman just doesn't do it for me. Besides for my wife I see her body enough times a day. But when I do have to undress her, thats when it starts!!!

And if you wear something sexy, like the above suggestions -> the undressing starts in the mind, and that's the foundation until you can buildup more and more sexual desire from your man.  Not just clothing too, remember poses!

You must force your man to use his imagination to see your own body, you must give him a glimpse only before robbing him of it. Say no to him, say it playfully, call him a perv even. Some men, like me, can't get enough of the tease.

EDIT: Hell I can go on, but just another thing... lovingsummers just reminded me of it actually...



> getting very close but not letting him touch you


YES! The "look but don't touch" game gets me in the mood so fking quick. Jebus, come to think of it, maybe I'm not that hard to please... am I? lol


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## salt (Aug 26, 2012)

Thanks for all your input!! I bought a 'toy' for him and will present it to him tonight  he's been expecting a gift so I'll just blindfold him and give him the big surprise  I'd love to know what turns my man on most but he never will tell, so I'll just do all the things I like to do instead 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

You're asking how to initiate. That's not the right question, you already know how to initiate. The problem is with your partner's lack of interest in having sex with you.



salt said:


> I've been with my partner for nearly three years.


Not very long. For the sex to drop off that quickly, something is VERY wrong. 



salt said:


> He is not interested in sex at all


Yes, that's the problem. You can't make a car start if it doesn't have any gas in the tank, no matter how many times you swap out the spark plugs or try priming the freaking thing. 



salt said:


> I used to initiate but always get knocked back.


Nice. Well you can't say you didn't try.



salt said:


> I make myself look nice, I do my hair and face and always wear nice clothes.


How's your weight? Any large gains in the past few years? That could do it right there. Be honest, at least with yourself, you don't have to answer that one publically.




salt said:


> I can't bring it up why he has gone off sex


Why not? That's a sign of major communication issues. Are there lots of other things can no longer "bring up to him". 



salt said:


> but he usually has said in the past, 'i am interested' then shrugs his shoulders, just blowing off the convo.


Communication issue. He's not being direct and honest with you, maybe he isn't even being honest with himself. Maybe he's getting it elsewhere?



salt said:


> He thinks by me bringing it up I'm critisising him.


Well, that's rather shallow of him. Sounds more like a deflection though.



salt said:


> I'll put my hand on him and kiss him but he'll carry on watching the tv and i feel rejected. I'll put my face in his n kiss him but looks round me.


Wow that's rude of him. 



salt said:


> I bought a 'toy' for him and will present it to him tonight  he's been expecting a gift so I'll just blindfold him and give him the big surprise


ugh. I wouldn't have suggested doing that. This isn't going to go over well. 



salt said:


> I'd love to know what turns my man on most but he never will tell


He won't tell you what turns him on. In addition to all the other things he won't discuss.

There are problems here and the sex isn't one of them. It's only a symptom.


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