# My Wife's appearance



## stanish73 (Jan 24, 2014)

Hi,

First time post! 
My wife and I have been together for over 8 years now - 4 of those in marriage. We have a 3 year old son who we adore.
As with most couples with a toddler, the intimacy in our marriage has gone downhill rapidly, however I think both of us appreciate the difficulties of raising a toddler can play havoc with that aspect.
My issue isn't with that however - it is more with my wife's appearance and how it has declined every since we initially moved in together - so about 6 years ago.
My wife has never been a fancy dresser - and i'm happy with that, she's got a curvy figure and i'm happy with that. However, when we first moved in I started to notice little things started slipping.
Namely, her waxing (leg/upper lip) - she basically started to take care of things less and less - so much so that I would start to notice the very obvious upper lip hair - I had previously never ever noticed when we were just dating.
It had got to the point where I had to actually say something as it was so obvious. 
So this has basically been the cycle for the last few years - she doesn't take care of these treatments until I actually say something - and even then it's a really effort as she gets very defensive with comments like 'Well, you married a brunette' , 'it all costs money'.
It sounds all very trivial - but to me it's a deeper issue than that. It's part of her appearance, how she presents herself, how she feels about herself and our marriage, not to mention embarrassing when we meet friends and family.
By not bothering about these aspects, I get the feeling she doesn't really give a damn any more, is happy that she is just married and feels no desire to make any effort. 
From my perspective, it is very demoralising - physically I don't find her attractive, I get frustrated that I have to be the one to raise the issue every 6-8 weeks. I have always tried to deal with it sensitively, even paying for other nicer treatments as an incentive but she never ever gets the message that I cannot stand how she leaves her upper lip hair to grow. It's unsightly, unfeminine...yet she just can't see this.
Am I being too selfish? Am I just being a total jerk? Or do I have some justification in wanting my wife to take some care of her appearance?

Thanks for reading.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

Could be worse! If it was up to my wife I would be changing clothes 5 - 10 times a day just because there was what she saw as a speck of whatever on them, even though they are my work clothes, which by definition are intended to get dirty. 

If it's not that she is all most to the degree of being hyper concerned about every aspect of my health yet hers is ignored at will. The other day she wanted to check my blood pressure and it was 127/63. She felt I should get that checked out right way because that was both too high and too low at the same time.  

Hers was at least 160/120 but thats okay to her because its always been like that. :scratchhead:

120/80 is the statistical average for healthy but has many variables that allow for slightly higher or lower upper and lower values.


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## Alpha (Feb 18, 2013)

Nothing wrong with wanting your wife to look better and its very common for couples to let their physical appearance go downhill once they get married.

I would surprise your wife with a pampering at a Spa and a full Parlor session to get her hair and nails done, and a waxing. In the evening, romance her and make passionate love to her so she realizes that you get really turned on when she is at her most attractive.

She should clue in after that.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Have you ever waxed anything? It hurts.
Just sayin.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stanish73 (Jan 24, 2014)

thanks Alpha - good advice.

lifeistooshort - i've never done any waxing - and I can understand it hurts but don't most women out there take of this sort of thing - and doesn't the fact I have got her nice treatments as an incentive help?
I would understand If I was asking her to do something very few other women do but since the majority in the western world wax,pluck,use creams etc etc...don't think its' too much to ask.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

I don't think you're being a jerk by wanting your wife to keep up her appearance. That's all part of the ongoing seduction needed to maintain a relationship.

Maybe you should let it slide for a while, not focus on this issue and keep yourself looking good (I'm not saying that you do or do not already) and see if there is a change in her attitude. 

Asking is not working so try ignoring it for a while.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

I side with the OP on this one. There is NOTHING more unattractive than upper lip hair on a woman.


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

Sounds like a bait and switch to me. She kept her mustache at bay until she got you to marry her. Yes, waxing hurts and costs money. It can be done at home, too, which would cost much less. 

When she replies to you nicely suggesting about her mustache showing and she replies "well you married a brunette" counter back that the brunette didn't have a mustache then.

I can see that this is important to you, so perhaps if you sit down and tell her exactly how you feel about it you can make her understand. Otherwise I see you making for the door. She needs to understand that, no matter how much it hurts.

I really hope this works out for you.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

stanish73 said:


> thanks Alpha - good advice.
> 
> lifeistooshort - i've never done any waxing - and I can understand it hurts but don't most women out there take of this sort of thing - and doesn't the fact I have got her nice treatments as an incentive help?
> I would understand If I was asking her to do something very few other women do but since the majority in the western world wax,pluck,use creams etc etc...don't think its' too much to ask.



I see, so if most of the women in the western world were willing to have anal sex then I'd be obligated, even though it hurts? Just pointing out that this logic is flawed.
Now that i've said that I can understand how upper lip hair would be a turnoff.....razors are comfortable and easy to use, the one my hb uses on his face is great. Maybe you could get her a fancy electric razor? I don't wax at all because it hurts, but a good razor is fine. I'm really not sure that the majority of western women wax anyway; I don't know anyone that does, we all shave. Maybe in porn they all wax.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

What about seeing if she'd be interested in laser hair removal--just take care of it once and for all? I mean, until the joys of random per-menopausal hair sprouting starts and all....


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I think it would help if you just focused on the one thing, the upper lip hair and any other facial hair, over the leg hair. Compromise on leg and pubic hair. 

My guess is that linking the two makes it overwhelming to deal with. Whereas if you just ask for the upper lip hair then it's something more do-able both money and time wise. I would resent being asked to keep my legs and pits meticulous. It's winter in NH and with no pressure to be "pretty" or "attractive" as not partnered I am great with having it all natural.

I used to get upper lip waxed, now it's just gone...and use a razor for any stray single hairs that pop up. So easy. 

Have you considered getting the electrolysis for her upper lip? It's a one-time deal. After that, no hassle. Not like any woman is ever going to change her mind about that, unlike tubal ligations...

See if she would agree to that. Tell her it's your investment for yourself, but it involves her body. So don't frame it as a treat for HER, it's not. Make it a gift for you, like instead of Christmas or birthday... Or give her something of the same value as what it costs to have hair permanently removed. Something that she actually wants. 

I hate it when people say that going to a spa to be made up pretty is a gift for the woman. For some it is, but for others it represents a whole afternoon or day of wasted time doing yet another thing for someone else. It is pretty boring.

I'd rather go to the movies or snowboarding/skiing. 

Do you trim? Ears, nose, pubes, pit hair????
You might want to check with your wife to see if there's anything you can do in return in the way of grooming, dressing or behavior.

I do think it matters if spouses are attractive to each other. It's really important, so good to speak up about what you like. But I also think that people have a right to be themselves in a partnership, so if you are asking someone to change, it's touchy. I think the bottom line is that no matter what happens, it hurts you that your wife, if she knows it's an attraction issue for you, isn't doing what she knows would be attractive, that is she doesn't care if you have the hots for you or not.

And THAT is not a matter that only has to do with upper lip hair. The hair is just a symptom.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

COGypsy said:


> What about seeing if she'd be interested in laser hair removal--just take care of it once and for all? I mean, until the joys of random per-menopausal hair sprouting starts and all....


What's all this about peri-menopausal hair sprouting????
Agggghhhh. I am 50, so sooner or later I will be there?
Although no signs of menopause yet, I have hair on my legs that would make a Scotsman proud.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

You said "paying for other nicer treatments" do you mean like laser hair removal or electrolysis? That would be my suggestion but if it's already been tried then I'm not sure why she wouldn't want to take it. 

Is she maybe embarrassed by going to have it waxed outside the home or not like the experience? She might not be the spa type, I'm not. I don't like strange people touching me. They have cheap, reusable home kits that work well, $10 would last a long time with just the upper lip to do if it's just a money issue or an issue with not wanting it done by someone else. Heck, you could try a strip on yourself to see how it feels and show her some sympathy  

I also like NAIR hair removal, it's painless, also cheap, but I've never had to use it on my face so I'd make sure you check to see that it can be if it's the waxing itself that it causing the issue.


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## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

stanish73 said:


> Hi,
> 
> 
> Am I being too selfish? Am I just being a total jerk? Or do I have some justification in wanting my wife to take some care of her appearance?


no
no
yes, as long as you are attentive to YOUR appearance as well


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## stanish73 (Jan 24, 2014)

"I think the bottom line is that no matter what happens, it hurts you that your wife, if she knows it's an attraction issue for you, isn't doing what she knows would be attractive, that is she doesn't care if you have the hots for you or not."

You've hit the nail on the head. This is exactly how I feel about the situation.
It's not as if we have not spoken about it but not to the depth of how it upsets me. I really do feel sometimes that it's a case of 'well, i'm married now, no need to try'.

Thanks for all the comments so far - much appreciated.


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## stanish73 (Jan 24, 2014)

I do try and keep a tidy appearance but sometimes it's not easy when you see the other half not trying.
But then I tell myself that's no reason for me to drag myself down!


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Sun Catcher said:


> Sounds like a bait and switch to me. She kept her mustache at bay until she got you to marry her. Yes, waxing hurts and costs money. It can be done at home, too, which would cost much less.
> 
> When she replies to you nicely suggesting about her mustache showing and she replies "well you married a brunette" counter back that the brunette didn't have a mustache then.
> 
> ...


Get her laser hair treatments for the region.


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## stanish73 (Jan 24, 2014)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> You said "paying for other nicer treatments" do you mean like laser hair removal or electrolysis? That would be my suggestion but if it's already been tried then I'm not sure why she wouldn't want to take it.
> 
> Is she maybe embarrassed by going to have it waxed outside the home or not like the experience? She might not be the spa type, I'm not. I don't like strange people touching me. They have cheap, reusable home kits that work well, $10 would last a long time with just the upper lip to do if it's just a money issue or an issue with not wanting it done by someone else. Heck, you could try a strip on yourself to see how it feels and show her some sympathy
> 
> I also like NAIR hair removal, it's painless, also cheap, but I've never had to use it on my face so I'd make sure you check to see that it can be if it's the waxing itself that it causing the issue.


No, have never suggested that. She does go to the spa - quite enjoys it the other treatments i get for i.e. massages, skin treatments etc


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> What's all this about peri-menopausal hair sprouting????
> Agggghhhh. I am 50, so sooner or later I will be there?
> Although no signs of menopause yet, I have hair on my legs that would make a Scotsman proud.


I'm encroaching upon 40 and apparently my early birthday gift has been several random chin hairs that were seriously never there before. I've been having my hormone levels tested at my physical the last couple of years and no indications of significant hormonal changes that would let me switch from an IUD to HRT, just enough hormonal flux to sprout bonus strands in new places.


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## Duguesclin (Jan 18, 2014)

Today it is facial hair. Tomorrow it will be wrinkles, maybe eyebrows sagging, etc... 
I would just let her be and simply accept and love her the way she is.
There are far greater challenges in life. Save your energy for when they come.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

YOu can't feel guilty about what is important to you.
Everyone is different.

However, you knew this was an issue prior to marriage and fatherhood. So your actions have already blessed it.

This is not about her feelings about you. It's who she is.

My feeling is you should build her up (currently you are tearing her down), make her the happiest wife and mother she can be, and then start brining it up once she is in a better emotional place.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

> I do try and keep a tidy appearance but sometimes it's not easy when you see the other half not trying.
> But then I tell myself that's no reason for me to drag myself down!


Fair expectations by my standards. 

I do put forth an active effort to keep myself in a reasonably good shape and have a healthy appearance for my wife. Granted I don't shave every day and will often go 4 - 6 days between shaves but still I am not greasy or grubby looking unless I just came off of a good day of working in the shop and even then that only lasts until I take a shower before going to bed. 

My wife however seems to be hell bent on letting herself go. She's not the hot sexy amazon woman I married but she's not yet to the point of being one of the industrial scooter riding Walmart whales either. 

Granted she has made many comments about how nice it would be to have one so she didn't have to walk and she can always find a false excuse to tell people why she needs to use one.


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## stanish73 (Jan 24, 2014)

i think it's tough when one partner doesn't seem too concerned about making the effort - a relationship takes two and it shouldn't always be one person pushing for things.
In my situation, I do accept that by marriage/fatherhood I kind of validated the situation..however like so many others I was led down the garden path so to speak, and once I got suckered in, then it was all over.
That's something I have never understood - why two people get together, why do people let themselves go? I'm not saying people should be straining to be supermodels but a little effort is always good. And then the very same people seem totally surprised when the relationship flounders.
oh well, some good points made to my post so thanks everyone!


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Does your wife work? Is her concern about money legitimate?

Like others though, I'm just wondering if some lip hair changes your feelings on her appearance so dramatically, will it later be wrinkles that embarrass you when your friends and family see her?


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> Have you ever waxed anything? It hurts.
> Just sayin.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Laser is the way to go people!


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

You are not selfish expecting your wife not to have a mustache.


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

I'm guessing OP's wife's upper lip hair is darker/thicker than the average woman's. No, you are not being shallow by expecting her to keep up basic maintenance of her looks.

Imo, people who let themselves go are rejecting their spouses.


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## browneyes74 (Sep 1, 2013)

Do you have any idea how hot I would be for the man that bought me laser treatments? And I'm being serious.. Especially coming out of a marriage that there was never money for me to spend on myself... it was all for him, to make him happy.. 

And, I would second the Nair. That's what I use at times.. It's cheap and easy.. I've used it for years.. I'd rather spend the waxing money on my eyebrows.. I don't have much lip hair, but dark brunette, I like a tidy brow 

I'm all about the grooming.. Although, I will say, I cared less when I was depressed.. Could she be depressed? And I wouldn't say I didn't care, it was just that I couldn't make myself always go to the effort.. something to think about...


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

I am a big fan of hair removal. I wax, shave and thread as needed. Have not tried laser because of cost and I heard it still comes back.

If you wax on a regular basis, the hair does grow back in slower, thinner and in less quantity. So after doing it a while, it barely hurts. I even started doing Brazilians the last few months and even that is not as horrible as I imagined. 

As a woman, I also find women's facial hair distracting because I know it's so easily remedied. I would push the issue with her. And don't complain one bit for any salon charges. 

Or, stop wiping your a$$ for a week and see if she has a problem with it.

One more thing - if cost is an issue, go to Sally Beauty Supply and buy a small plastic container of Brazilian wax and some of the applicator sticks (avoid the stuff that needs cloth strips). Nuke it in the microwave and you can easily do lip and unibrows at home. I keep it for emergencies. But shaping and nether regions are always handled by a professional.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

OP, I am not minimizing your concern. I think we are visual creatures and this is indeed impairing your view. 

But as I read this I couldn't help wondering how men stayed attracted to their women 200 years ago when they didn't shave, wax, wear make-up or die their hair. I guess I am curious how long people of today would last if they had to live with "the real deal".


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## PDXMom (Jan 20, 2014)

OP, 

I agree with you, and do not think there is anything wrong with what you are feeling. Far too often I see married people let go and not care, because of the stresses of everyday life. I get it. However, you need to take care of yourself and groom the same way you before marriage. I think we all seem to lack in one way or another once we settle, but it should not go to extreme. 

If it were me, I would want you to be brutally honest. I'm not sayig she is going to be happy with what you have to say; I mean, who likes to be criticized? However, you have every right to feel the way you so and there is zero reason for someone to let themselves go just because they have a family or a brunette. That is what you call pure laziness. What... a lame excuse

Side note: Check out lazer hair removal. I'm a brunette too; I get it. It's the best money I have ever spent, then you don't have to wax and barely shave.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

> But as I read this I couldn't help wondering how men stayed attracted to their women 200 years ago when they didn't shave, wax, wear make-up or die their hair. I guess I am curious how long people of today would last if they had to live with "the real deal".


Easy. They didn't have mass media, television, the internet and to be honest the vast majority of people never traveled more than hundred miles distance away from where they were born. Plus in their lifetime they maybe knew a few hundred people as well. 

For the most part they had very little to compare the local selection to so never had any reason to think who they were with wasn't beautiful otherwise. 

Imagine going to your local mall on a busy day and consider that range of people you see there to be everyone you could and would meet in your life time. 
How do you rate the overall selection? 
10 - 15 eligible hotties followed by hundreds of average everyone elses. Who do you think you would most likely end up with? :


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

You know I love it when hubby pampers me by shaving my legs and other things great forplay and very erotic to have my big man take such care and gentleness with me. Makes a women feel cherished and sexy.....makes her want to look sexy for him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

mineforever said:


> You know I love it when hubby pampers me by shaving my legs and other things great forplay and very erotic to have my big man take such care and gentleness with me. Makes a women feel cherished and sexy.....makes her want to look sexy for him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't think any woman wants her man shaving her upper lip.


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## learning to love myself (Apr 18, 2013)

stanish73 said:


> Hi,
> 
> First time post!
> My wife and I have been together for over 8 years now - 4 of those in marriage. We have a 3 year old son who we adore.
> ...


Your not being selfish or a jerk, I'm sure if you are letting some of your route appearance stuff go she would tell you?

I know a lot of woman do this, it comes from a verity of reasons from the I'm married now I don't have to take care of myself to the depression sinking in and just don't care about much of anything. 

I'm on the other side of the coin, I want my husband to see me at my best and work hard at my appearance, I too am brunette and my upper lip can get hairy, never happened when I was younger 20's much more since having children. I bought a little face shaver made for woman and do it every morning before I put makeup on.

I have gone without maintaining my legs in the winter and my husband is good about rubbing up against them in bed and pulling away and saying OUCH. I can take a hint...

I think it is both spouses responsibility to keep up their appearance. That's not to say I don't go a la natural on weekends, my husband likes the beach girl look also, I would tell him if he was letting him self go also. 

BTW... married for 24 years February and I have always worked full time and took care of kids and house.


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## stanish73 (Jan 24, 2014)

PDXMom said:


> OP,
> 
> I agree with you, and do not think there is anything wrong with what you are feeling. Far too often I see married people let go and not care, because of the stresses of everyday life. I get it. However, you need to take care of yourself and groom the same way you before marriage. I think we all seem to lack in one way or another once we settle, but it should not go to extreme.
> 
> ...


that's how I feel, it's sheer laziness and the excuses are lame. I get the point some people are saying about me focusing on one very specific bodily area but it just represents so much more. Did she present herself this way when we dated, no way. So we move in, get married and then it's downhill all the way. Damn, no wonder so many marriages end up in divorce if this is the attitude some women AND Men have.
If she is too lazy to go the salon for waxing, god knows what her reaction would be to laser treatments!
Perhaps the time has come for the Mr Nice guy approach to end, time for some tough talking...


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

It doesn't have to be "tough" talking, it just has to be radically honest. Radical doesn't mean "brutal".

Here's radical honesty:

"Honey I have danced around this issue for awhile, trying to discuss it gently, but you haven't really gotten it so I'm going to say it a bit more directly: I feel un-attracted to you when I see the hair on your lip. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings but it actually hurts *my* feelings that I've had to remind you about this over and over. I hope this is the last time I need to say this and that you will pre-emptively do the treatments to take care of this issue before I notice it, ie: every 5 weeks."

It might sting for a moment but you need to not worry about that, because she needs to deal with that herself. The point should remain on the fact that she has put you in this uncomfortable position of having to be so radically honest.

If she has anything to say about the issue, invite her to speak. But anything that sounds like an excuse, just offer in a light tone "I'm sorry hun, that is just an excuse" and put the ball back in her court.

Also ask if there is anything you could do to be more attractive to her and do those things if there are any.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

I agree, not "tough", just real. If you can't be real with each other what do you have?


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## stanish73 (Jan 24, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> It doesn't have to be "tough" talking, it just has to be radically honest. Radical doesn't mean "brutal".
> 
> Here's radical honesty:
> 
> ...


Thanks so much - I will try this, won't be easy but something needs to be said.


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## IGSIMB (Dec 17, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> I see, so if most of the women in the western world were willing to have anal sex then I'd be obligated, even though it hurts? Just pointing out that this logic is flawed.
> Now that i've said that I can understand how upper lip hair would be a turnoff.....razors are comfortable and easy to use, the one my hb uses on his face is great. Maybe you could get her a fancy electric razor? I don't wax at all because it hurts, but a good razor is fine. I'm really not sure that the majority of western women wax anyway; I don't know anyone that, we all shave. Maybe in porn they all wax.....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Shaving is the worst for women, it makes hair grow back thicker and blacker. Buy an epilator for her, BrAun is great brand, I use it. I epilate/wax everything and think women are more attractive with silky skin, shaving makes skin bumpy and hair grow back more and thicker. 

I found that American women don't wax as much as European women, I have tried to look up someone who would come to my home and use hard wax but most skin specialists here don't know what it is, I would never use liquid honey wax in some areas.


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## Kiera88 (Jan 27, 2014)

I do sympathize with you OP - I have seen soooo many women who simply let themselves go once they get married. I've never understood this concept.

Let's put the shoe on the other foot - no wife would be happy with a husband who started gaining massive amounts of weight, stopped shaving and grew out a shaggy beard (unless, of course, he has always sported a super long beard), and just dressed sloppily (so far as to appear very unkempt). 

It's not unfair for a husband to want his wife to care about her appearance. It doesn't seem like you have unrealistic expectations for her - unfortunately, I have upper lip hair as well, and for a long time I bleached it (you can get the kits at Wal-Mart very cheaply), but eventually I started waxing it at home.

Yes, it doesn't feel all that great, but it's not the worse pain in the world. It's a heck of a lot better than looking in the mirror and realizing that mustache is staring you in the face! LOL


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## stanish73 (Jan 24, 2014)

Kiera88 said:


> I do sympathize with you OP - I have seen soooo many women who simply let themselves go once they get married. I've never understood this concept.
> 
> Let's put the shoe on the other foot - no wife would be happy with a husband who started gaining massive amounts of weight, stopped shaving and grew out a shaggy beard (unless, of course, he has always sported a super long beard), and just dressed sloppily (so far as to appear very unkempt).
> 
> LOL


That's my feeling as well Kiera, If I had let things slip, I would understand - to a degree - but I haven't. Pretty much the same since the day we met - slightly greyer/less hair mind you, with all the stress of being married!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Just tell her the truth, in a nonjudgmental way.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Alpha said:


> Nothing wrong with wanting your wife to look better and its very common for couples to let their physical appearance go downhill once they get married.
> 
> I would surprise your wife with a pampering at a Spa and a full Parlor session to get her hair and nails done, and a waxing. In the evening, romance her and make passionate love to her so she realizes that you get really turned on when she is at her most attractive.
> 
> She should clue in after that.


I agree. I was rather big a couple of years ago, got into my head, I had my man, my kids, was happy with the way i looked. I was wrong.

I do believe when your married you take a lot for granted, Like the way you look, and the way you dress, taking time to look after yourself while your busy looking after everybody else, and you can fall into a rut.

I think everything can get rather hectic with your busy lifestyle etc, that you can let things go, and sometimes you can be oblivious, and not even realise, for me i knew, but i was just being ignorant.

For me tho it was a lot different, my husband never had a problem with my weight gain, I mean you could see i had put weight on with having children, but it was not an issue for him. It was not until after i had a lost the weight, and got to a size 10, and was shown a photo, that i could actually how bad i really did look, the picture was revolting!!!!.

Its easy to let yourself go. I am a leggings and t shirt kind of a girl, when i go out i will wear a dress, get tarted up, and make an effort. On a Saturday we have friends round, I use this time to put myself out, I like to dress up for my husband, and he knows it.

I think your idea is a great idea about the spa, when shes at her best and all done up, Compliment her, Make her know and feel she looks good, may give her the kick up the backside she needs, let her know a few changes are needed, It does make a difference, trust me.

I know its made a difference in my life, making a few changes to myself.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Adding.... I do not wax i wouldn't.... OUCH..... I shave with a woman's razor, gets the job done.


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## bobbieb65 (Jan 24, 2013)

I'm a natural blonde  so I don't have the dark hair issue, but do have the blonde "fuzz" on my face. Waxing does not work for me It doesn't hurt, but it just doesn't work...my hair is apparently too fine to be waxed. All I'm left with is using one of those little shavers and tweezers...I'd take waxing over plucking any day I usually primp on Friday to get ready for the weekend whether we're just hanging out or going out I'll be ready to go, but I also don't have a 3yr under foot

I like the idea of prepaid salon day...waxing, mini/pedi, whatever she'd be into. Show her how much you appreciate the primped and prime version of her and tell her she deserves such pampering on a monthly basis. Maybe it'll get her out of her rut


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

JustHer said:


> I couldn't help wondering how men stayed attracted to their women 200 years ago when they didn't shave, wax, wear make-up or die their hair. I guess I am curious how long people of today would last if they had to live with "the real deal".


The real deal 200-ish years ago for women included corsets, wigs (sometimes) or big hair, makeup, hair plucking, etc. Corsets caused breathing problems, makeup had lead in it, facial decoration could take ages if they were applying fashionable stuck-on pieces of fabric, and they were expected to eat very lightly at dinners. 

Of course, this depended very much on class (the lower classes were much more "come as you are"), nationality, and the actual exact timeframe, but it certainly wasn't particularly real.


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## Stressedandsad (Jan 29, 2014)

I think asking for her to maintain her grooming is fine but I also agree with the poster who said, what happens when things start to change that you have no control of like wrinkles and sagging parts. Compliment her on other things and boost her ego. Maybe she'll be more inclined to pay attention to the smaller things she has control over.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I have to agree that mustache hairs (and chin hairs) on a woman are something that should be taken care of because they're just not attractive. And I am probably one of THE most down-to-earth, au natural people around. I do not wear make up, I have never dyed my hair, I buy absolutely ZERO creams or lotions or anti aging potions. None whatsoever - total waste of money as far as I am concerned. I am 49 and am proud of my grey hairs (I am still mostly dark brown however), wrinkles, saggy boobs and cellulite - I earned every one of those parts of my body. But I do draw the line at black facial hairs. I have three on my chin that get plucked the second they appear, and in the last couple of years I have also been plucking my 'kitty whiskers' as hubby calls them


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