# Inheritance



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

So my wife and I just inherited a substantial amount of money. You would think that this would make me happy, but its had a strangely revers effect. I've always prided myself on working hard, and having an good income that (along with my wife's income) let us enjoy a good lifestyle. This feels like cheating - I'm able to live off of someone else's hard work. 

Its not stunning wealth but it dwarfs any amount of money from raises that I might get for the rest of my career. 

Human psychology is strange.


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

It does feel strange to "profit" from a loved one's death. Invest the money for your retirement, give some to your favorite charity, and be grateful that your relative was careful with their money and passed this quality on to you.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Who inherited the money... you (your family) or her (her family)?

My ex and I also inherited substantial money. Sadly, it was not enough to save our marriage... 

Money truly doesn't buy happiness...

P.S. Just left you a long reply in your other current thread...


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

If you ever feel as though the burden is too much, please contact me and I can help you out with that. 

I have PayPal. :smthumbup:


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I inherited some money from my father, but I'm like you in that I've always worked and paid my own way. The money meant the loss of my father, which was devastating to me. I try remember that it will one day pay for some kids education, which would make him happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening happyasaclam
Technically its hers. That's fine, we were quite comfortable before (two incomes, no kids). 

I'm extremely laid-back about money. I don't waste it, and I use it to try to make life better, but I don't *care* about it a lot and don't stress over it. 




happy as a clam said:


> Who inherited the money... you (your family) or her (her family)?
> 
> My ex and I also inherited substantial money. Sadly, it was not enough to save our marriage...
> 
> ...


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening happyasaclam
> Technically its hers. That's fine, we were quite comfortable before (two incomes, no kids).
> 
> I'm extremely laid-back about money. I don't waste it, and I use it to try to make life better, but I don't *care* about it a lot and don't stress over it.


What's your wife's attitude to money and the inheritance? 

And do you have any plans for it such as investment, travel, donation, savings on-hand etc.?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

When I go, some people I care very much for are going to get some money or property. They won't be cheating me at all. They will only be getting what I bequeathed and intended for them to have. At some point you will also leave this veil of tears and you aren't taking a U-Haul with you. You will have no further need for money or property and you will leave it to others.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Inheritance is an important way of benefiting the next generation. Everything I have is for my children and their children, there is nothing bad about this, they will not be cheating when they inherit, it is their money too.

However my family have moved more towards divesting while alive which is a great way to pass on wealth and for the gifter to get enjoyment from while still alive. Here we have no death taxes but it has been spoken about as a possibility for the future. We currently have no gift tax so it makes sense for my parents to gift money now while still alive.
This year I was gifted a huge sum of money, enough to buy a new house outright and a very expensive car. I don't feel like I have cheated anyone as my parents get a lot of joy seeing what they are doing for their family now, they would not get that enjoyment after death.

Also as people are living longer it makes sense to divest especially if it is larges sums of money.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Congrats, you should be happy. Think of it as "winning lottery"

HOWEVER, I would suggest and highly recommend that you wait couple of weeks and let "things get back to normal" before making any decisions/plans.

How does the old saying go? Don't EVER make any big life decisions during time of great happiness or great sadness.

Good luck, enjoy it!!!



michzz said:


> If you ever feel as though the burden is too much, please contact me and I can help you out with that.
> 
> I have PayPal. :smthumbup:


Agreed.

OP, there is MILLIONS of people that will take you up on your OP. 

Including me!


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening heartsbeating and others
We have not decided what to do with the money yet - there is plenty of time for that. 

We were already fairly comfortable - 2 pretty good jobs and no kids, so there is no desperate need for money. Thats part of why I feel bad - her parents were very frugal and saved a ton - despite our attempts to get them to spend their money on themselves. 







heartsbeating said:


> What's your wife's attitude to money and the inheritance?
> 
> And do you have any plans for it such as investment, travel, donation, savings on-hand etc.?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

My ex's mom passed away before I dated her, but she received a life insurance payout and felt tremendous guilt for holding onto it. So she blew through it instead. When we married she still had a small portion left, enough for a down payment on a house, but one of the biggest problems in our marriage was financial, she was so used to blowing through money that she was unfamiliar with budgeting or governing her spending, just bought whatever she wanted and as long as it was on clearance or used from a garage sale or classifieds she felt like she was getting a bargain. And during the blowing through of the inheritance she accumulated a huge credit limit, so it took nothing to get very deep into credit card debt together


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening heartsbeating and others
> We have not decided what to do with the money yet - there is plenty of time for that.
> 
> We were already fairly comfortable - 2 pretty good jobs and no kids, so there is no desperate need for money. Thats part of why I feel bad - her parents were very frugal and saved a ton - despite our attempts to get them to spend their money on themselves.


Crazy but they did what they wanted. 

Enjoy it!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

good afternoon richardsharpe,


please allow me to shoulder your burden
I take paypal


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

The best why to use the money is to not use it at all, save it for bad times...that's why her folks saved and now they are passing it to you guys. You have to admit sh1t does happen and it usually comes when you least expect it.

In my case my folks passed on early when I was just getting started so I used it wisely and got into a house....granted I was on a bad path and could of wasted it, but I stopped short of really wasting my folks hard work and made the investment that I know they would be proud of.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

michzz said:


> If you ever feel as though the burden is too much, please contact me and I can help you out with that.
> 
> I have PayPal. :smthumbup:





DoF said:


> Congrats, you should be happy. Think of it as "winning lottery"
> 
> HOWEVER, I would suggest and highly recommend that you wait couple of weeks and let "things get back to normal" before making any decisions/plans.
> 
> ...





Almostrecovered said:


> good afternoon richardsharpe,
> 
> 
> please allow me to shoulder your burden
> I take paypal


Hey, I have first dibs.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

eh, got lazy and didn't read the other replies

I will up the ante and say that I will give him sex for it 

yes I'm a *****


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> eh, got lazy and didn't read the other replies
> 
> I will up the ante and say that I will give him sex for it
> 
> yes I'm a *****


But you don't even know how much money is involved . . .

And didn't you have some other post about not giving BJ's?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I need a new hot tub


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening The Guy
Up to a point thats true, but my wife's parents died with a lot of money - by a lot I mean a lot more than they spent enjoying themselves during their entire lives. To me that is sad.

My parents did almost the same thing- except in my case the nursing homes got it all. Almost 15 years between them in nursing homes - utterly miserable all the time, ate a small fortune. They had be extremely frugal (maybe miserly...) their entire lives - there were all sorts of things that they wanted to do but never did because of the cost .






the guy said:


> The best why to use the money is to not use it at all, save it for bad times...that's why her folks saved and now they are passing it to you guys. You have to admit sh1t does happen and it usually comes when you least expect it.
> 
> In my case my folks passed on early when I was just getting started so I used it wisely and got into a house....granted I was on a bad path and could of wasted it, but I stopped short of really wasting my folks hard work and made the investment that I know they would be proud of.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Who cares what her folks did or didn't do. Now the moneys is yours and you guys can go a spend it or save it for a rainy day.

Look...they ,mad their choice on what they did with there money...and maybe, just maybe they were happy knowing if any thing ever happened it would be covered.

They had a fat wad of cash stashed away....they may have been happier then you think.

So stop worrying about how sad you *think* they were and spend a little, donate some, and stash the rest away for the bad times that may or may not come.....but if they do come you won't need to stress out.

And that's my point....not having to stress out about making end meet...maybe that is really what being happiness is....not the nice cars, fancy clothes, and all the bling.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening The Guy
> Up to a point thats true, but my wife's parents died with a lot of money - by a lot I mean a lot more than they spent enjoying themselves during their entire lives. To me that is sad.
> 
> My parents did almost the same thing- except in my case the nursing homes got it all. Almost 15 years between them in nursing homes - utterly miserable all the time, ate a small fortune. They had be extremely frugal (maybe miserly...) their entire lives - there were all sorts of things that they wanted to do but never did because of the cost .


Hi Richard,

I wouldn't assume because they had money stashed away that because they didn't spend it, they were sad. If anything, I think the opposite. They grew up in troubled times. (Depression, war, uncertainty) Many of our elders would never dream of spending that nest egg! It was their security and therefore made them feel safe and comfortable.

Having that money made the happy and most importantly relaxed. And, being able to pass that nest egg along - Priceless. 

It's what THEY wanted to do and spending it would be unheard of...


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

1st world problem if I ever heard of one.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

michzz said:


> 1st world problem if I ever heard of one.


Yeah, should feel honored and blessed, not guilty and sad.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

richardsharpe said:


> We were already fairly comfortable - 2 pretty good jobs and no kids, so there is no desperate need for money. Thats part of why I feel bad - her parents were very frugal and saved a ton - despite our attempts to get them to spend their money on themselves.


Your wife's parents lived their lives the way they wanted to. As someone else said, the huge nest egg probably made them feel secure. To them that security must have been very important. Another thing that might have been important to them is that they leave something for their daughter so that they knew she too would have a very good nest egg.

I think that your wife should honor this gift from her parents as this is what they wanted. And I think you should do the same.

I had a professor who gave a lecture on inheritance. He said that many people just blow through them and waste the family legacy. Instead, according to him, as much as possible the principle should be kept intact and grown. And people should only use some of the interest, dividends, etc. generated by the principle. 

You have no idea what life has ahead for you and your wife. Having such a nest egg could really come in handy if one or both of you got sick, lost your jobs, etc. It's a blessing that most people never get.

You say that you and your wife have no children. Are their any nieces, nephews, etc, who would benefit in the future if you were able to keep/grow the principle?


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

I'm in a similar situation Richard. My parents where depression era kids and lived their lives very frugally. The result was that when they were gone I was left with something not inconsequential. It seemed a poor trade for my parents who I missed (and continue to miss) so much. I also have this feeling that I'm more the custodian than the owner. They believed in a legacy and so do I. Ideally each generation should be better off than the last. This has me thinking about a trust for education to benefit my decedents or something along those lines.


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## oddball (Sep 5, 2012)

To ease your burden, why not donate some of the money to charities you feel strongly about.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

richardsharpe, why not invest the money and instead of spending it, spend only what you make from investing it? doing that will still give you the extra money, so it wasnt completely wasted on you, and will also benefit you as a result of you being wise with it. so you only spend what you earn. 

you may not have worked for it, but you can still make the money work for you.

down the road you may feel different, but the money will always be there as long as you havent spent it yet.


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