# Marriage- One Word



## thatbpguy

If you had just one word to define marriage, what would it be- and why?

For me the word is "secret". 

To me, marriage is a giant secret. One kept between 2 people. Your sex life is a secret. Your financial concerns is a secret. Your pillow talk at night is a secret. Your goals, hopes and dreams is a secret. And so forth...

Now, to be sure, people are allowed glimpses here and there but I have always felt that this big secret is one of the main things that can keep 2 people united.


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## meson

Fullfilling!


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## thatbpguy

meson said:


> Fullfilling!


Why?


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## Jellybeans

Noose.


Kidding.


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## GusPolinski

Compromise.


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## karole

Unity


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## meson

thatbpguy said:


> Why?


It's about each spouse creating an environment and life that meets each others needs. When my needs are met and my wife's needs are met I feel fulfilled. That is what marriage is to me.


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## MarriedDude

Renegotiation

as in constant


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## MEM2020

Connection 




thatbpguy said:


> If you had just one word to define marriage, what would it be- and why?
> 
> For me the word is "secret".
> 
> To me, marriage is a giant secret. One kept between 2 people. Your sex life is a secret. Your financial concerns is a secret. Your pillow talk at night is a secret. Your goals, hopes and dreams is a secret. And so forth...
> 
> Now, to be sure, people are allowed glimpses here and there but I have always felt that this big secret is one of the main things that can keep 2 people united.


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## thatbpguy

MEM11363 said:


> Connection


Do you think that men and women would define that word in a marriage differently?


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## jb02157

Frustration


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## Yeswecan

Assurance. 

I say assurance because as we grow older I'm certain that both my W and I are confident we will be there for each other. Both of our parents have passed. We are and do sometimes effectively feel alone and have no one to fall back on other than each other. Each day, decisions made, are our own. Right or wrong, we can be confident one will look after and lift up the other.


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## ConanHub

Life. Or... Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blondilocks

Love.


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## Affaircare

Commitment.

Because let's be honest--every marriage goes through unemployment, illness, losses or family deaths, fights, etc. But what makes a marriage is if you COMMIT to treating your spouse in a loving way despite all that stuff that happens. Even the "I didn't sign up for this!" stuff. 

It is a choice. It is an action. It is a decision. I COMMIT to being a loving person.


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## thatbpguy

[this is a joke, of course]
My secondary word is "screw".

When first married all you want to do is screw.

After 5 years you tend to look at each other and say "screw you".

After 10 years you want to just screw the other person over good.

After the divorce you feel like you've been screwed.

Then rinse and repeat...

[this is a joke, of course]


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## Yeswecan

Affaircare said:


> Commitment.
> 
> Because let's be honest--every marriage goes through unemployment, illness, losses or family deaths, fights, etc. But what makes a marriage is if you COMMIT to treating your spouse in a loving way despite all that stuff that happens. Even the "I didn't sign up for this!" stuff.
> 
> It is a choice. It is an action. It is a decision. I COMMIT to being a loving person.


It is an assurance.


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## thatbpguy

Affaircare said:


> Commitment.
> 
> Because let's be honest--every marriage goes through unemployment, illness, losses or family deaths, fights, etc. But what makes a marriage is if you COMMIT to treating your spouse in a loving way despite all that stuff that happens. Even the "I didn't sign up for this!" stuff.
> 
> It is a choice. It is an action. It is a decision. I COMMIT to being a loving person.


Wonderful.


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## EllisRedding

Fidelity ... pretty straightforward, not sure it needs explanation, but thanks to them my 401k is doing great


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## scatty

Loyalty.


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## SimplyAmorous

..."Oneness" ...









So many words.. hard to pin one.. "and the 2 shall become one".. the unity, the shared intimacy .. he's my best friend, I am his.. so much makes us "ONE", there is no other relationship that can compare..


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## whitecat

Haven


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## jld

Healing.


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## Married but Happy

Useful.

Some things are more easily achieved via marriage.


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## Married but Happy

EllisRedding said:


> Fidelity ... pretty straightforward, not sure it needs explanation, but thanks to them my 401k is doing great


I'm "in Fidelity" too, and my IRA is doing great. I worked in their retirement division for 6 years.


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## EllisRedding

Married but Happy said:


> I'm "in Fidelity" too, and my IRA is doing great. I worked in their retirement division for 6 years.


:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## Wolf1974

Disappointment


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## synthetic

Bankruptcy


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## SadSamIAm

Work


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## skype

Home


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## karole

Adventurous


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## CuddleBug

Hmmmmmm......I would say

"starved", 

hardly any physical and sexual closeness.


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## quiesedba

hell


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## Chelle D

hard (but worth it)


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## jessicag

Honesty


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## ScrambledEggs

How I feel now? 

Mistake.


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## morituri

Hallucinogenic.


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## lifeistooshort

Partner


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## arabian

Scam


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## coffee4me

Bittersweet


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## Kitt

Amazing....I love being married and we mirror each other's lives so we are so close.


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## richie33

Challenging.


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## NWCooper

Completeness. Our running joke between us, is that together we make up one whole person.


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## NobodySpecial

Wonderful.


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## Fozzy

Depends.


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## Runs like Dog

nuthouse


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## Sure that could work

Fluid....an ever changing tapestry.


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## gbrad

Stressful.


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## alte Dame

Powerless


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## Blondilocks

All these negative words describing marriage are so sad. It would be useful to differentiate the word 'marriage' from dysfunctional relationship.


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## SadSamIAm

Awesome (subject to change ... and I am sure it will)


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## Humble Pie

surrendered... 

I do not know if this is a word, but basically I mean I have ultimately surrendered myself to someone, with a commitment, no matter how bad times might get, that I will be there unconditionally for my family. Marriage, only happened to me due to children, and I am honoring my responsibilities, and will always give my children everything I can. My children are my entire world, I would surrender to all the hardship, belittling, disrespect, and stubbornness my spouse offers me for my life with my children. I have surrendered.


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## sapientia

Growth.

My close second was "friends".

IMO, spouses should be friends first, lovers second. Friends have fun, communicate, share ideas and experiences. But when you also love that person, in addition to being their friend, you help them grow to become the best person they can be, and in so doing, you grow yourself. And they help you in return. You *become* with such a partner. Safely, and surely. Couples who are friends and lovers have the best chance of a successful marriage b/c the basic elements of trust, compatibility, respect, common values and goals are already in place.

When I read the various TAM threads of marriages in trouble, "growth" is what is usually lacking, or lost.


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## sapientia

Since I know someone will ask "what do you mean by growth":

I think one of the most powerful learnings from marriage is to *really* see oneself as you are, strengths and faults, with a partner who will help you to realize the whats and whys. A loving mirror, so to speak. A great relationship will have partners who are aware of themselves, and each other, enough to be able to open these "paths to growth". Its similar to "self discovery", but more powerful because you do this together, with and for the other, rather than alone.

A really bad marriage can also lead to these learnings, though the process is much more painful. IPFE.


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## Anonymous07

Openness

To be open to working on things together, open to learning, open to your spouses point of view, open to change/compromise, open to love, open to truly hearing what your spouse has to say, open to meeting each other's needs and allowing your needs to be met, open to take on what ever life throws at you with your spouse by your side.


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## autopilot

I'm going to put two words and explain them both:

Wow!

It's incredibly fulfilling and excruciatingly painful during certain seasons of the marriage. When you get past those high peaks and low valleys all you can think back and remember to say is "Wow!".


Selflessness.

This one took me a while to figure out. But the more you give to your spouse in a marriage, the more joy and happiness you receive in return. The real key here is to be completely open and transparent with each other. That's sometimes difficult to do (especially if you've come from a previous damaging relationship).


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## Joe75

Sanctuary.


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## knmh12

.


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## T2shay

Complete

My husband and I got married in April of this year, although we have been together for 14 years. Some people say marriage is just a piece of paper, well it may be so for the legal aspect, but the vows we took, we really took to heart. We both feel more complete, happier inside. We changed after we said "I Do" we are more in love than ever, the void has been filled. We love to laugh and play together, we live life together as if we do not have tomorrow. Of course we take care of the house, bills, kids etc but what is life without laughter so we do that daily. When I see my husband waiting for me on the porch when I get home from work, or standing there in the house, I still get butterflies marriage completes us.


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## autopilot

T2shay said:


> My husband and I got married in April of this year, although we have been together for 14 years.


Congratulations.

A friend of mine told me a great thing one time (and they've been married for nearly 30 years). "Never quit dating your wife." I've tried taking that to heart and it sure makes the marriage more enjoyable and fulfilling.


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## T2shay

autopilot said:


> Congratulations.
> 
> A friend of mine told me a great thing one time (and they've been married for nearly 30 years). "Never quit dating your wife." I've tried taking that to heart and it sure makes the marriage more enjoyable and fulfilling.


Words to live by for sure. We have dates every other week and will continue for as long as we can.


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## sisters359

Sacrifice


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## coffee4me

Nooooooo!


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## doobie

Trap


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## Justus3

Journey. Our journey has been & continues to be the best I've ever been on  18 yrs married, 25 together, 1 child


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## Cleaver Brooks

Disappointing


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## anonfrank

Partnership


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## Nomorebeans

Over


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## 4x4

Nomorebeans said:


> Over


Nomorebeans beat me to it! For now, it's "over".


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## arbitrator

*"Cheating!"

But please keep in mind that I'm batting 0 for 2 in that department! So I might just be a tad jaded in that regard!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marie_schmidt

Roller-Coaster :grin2:


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## gouge_away

Hollywood


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## Constable Odo

Chastity.

JUST KIDDING!


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## Dycedarg

Marriage.


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## Gonecrazy

Martyrdom. Duty. Love.
Sorry, but your getting three for the price of one from me.


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## McDean

Free-fall

You are either:
1) Falling in love
2) Falling out of love
3) Falling together
4) Falling apart


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## gouge_away

Prenupt,
I'm sure its already within the first 3 pages


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## doobie

Prison. I've just left my H after nearly 3 years of some of the worst and unhappiest times of my life. Despite this, I refused to actually be unhappy and take pleasure in all the little things I have around me that make me smile - a flower, watching a bird drink, butterflies, awesome trees, etc. I've now spent two nights in my new home alone and feel such joy every minute I'm there, I dance around and sing and generally have a wonderful time being me and being free.


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## Ynot

Fantasy
Illusion
Dream
Fairy Tale
Take your pick, regardless of whether you are in a good or bad marriage, the whole concept is all of the above.


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## Ol'Pal

MEH. Is that a word??


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## Idyit

Passio (Latin) - To suffer or sacrifice for what you love. This word helps me to focus on the fact that marriage is not about my personal fulfillment. Rather it's a mutual fulfillment where I freely serve my wife and kids. With the knowledge that at times I will suffer some for this commitment.

~ Passio


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## Middle of Everything

Communication.

Everything in marriage is a form of communication, even sex.
When the communication is good, marriage is good. 
When its bad........


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## imperfectworld

Settling


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## Tomara

Death sentence


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## Sarantonio

I'd go with 

Selflessness (but being happy about it!)


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## steph333

One word! 

"One sided!!"

High expectations dissolved into a
Working slave of manipulation
And pathological lies and betrayal! 

I never even got to experience 
ROOT RATS!! Or ratting !!
OR AS THATBPGUYS SAYS: 
"Screw"
Apparently he ( husband), was already up for simply screwing with my head heart and and screwing around me but not on me! I loved sex dam it! 
(Now going on after the exicuted marriage 2 years, I can't bare to be touched now) !!

In 4 years my 1st, his second marriage! 
I couldn't even beg for a spooning at night! As I was complaining like No1 wife! 
So numbed up, I was frauded bad!!
But hoped for change!

Lol the change ended up him 
Changing to men 
!!EVERY MORNING HOOKUPS BEFORE WORK
4 years
Stupid bimbo brains I was
Wasted time! 
Marriages are a myth ! Or perhaps 
A PAST TIME........
1900's was when thoz followed the guidelines they were embedded to create a length respectful Marriage 

It's all bout cheating , hooking up, sex,
Fantasy, Dom, fem ...... 

What a lead up to a Disappointment!!

Manipulation


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## Threeblessings

Trust or here's 3 words: DO NOT CHEAT


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## Cool_Dude

Trust


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## arbitrator

*In a word, unfettered commitment!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy2gether

partnership. each spouse has to look at it as the equal partnership it is. don't run things your way, run them jointly.


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