# My D Story



## Lovin_Life (Apr 22, 2017)

I met my wife in college. We started as study buddies but it slowly turned into something more. She is certainly too good for me but I still pursued her. I graduated and I took a great job not far from my home town. She stayed back in school to finish her studies. Once she graduated, she moved back home for the summer then came to live with me. We decided to get married. I met her family and they are very close. She visits her Mom and Step-Dad a few times per month. We live only 60 miles so it is not a big inconvenience for us.

We talk about marriage and discuss this with our families. My family LOVES her; however, her family, especially her Step-Dad thinks she can “do better”. 

Fast forward 10 years with promotions, 2 daughters, nice house, nice cars; everything was going great. It was about this time that her Mother was told she had cancer but survival rate was high. My wife quit her job, went home every other weekend to visit and care for her. 

Fast forward another 7 years and her mother passes. My wife takes it hard (so I thought) and starts to go home every weekend to remain connected with her family. I offer to go with her and she snaps back quickly and says no. I knew something was up. Now I am not the emotional, drama-type guy. I am rational and level-headed. I think her Mother's death has affected her deeply but I also suspect more is going on. I suggest IC for her grief and she refuses.
I get suspicious as she remains away for days at a time. Our daughters are teenagers now and really do not miss their Mom. My MIL has been gone for several weeks and I think my wife should be at home with her daughters. When she is home, everything is great. She is attentive to the girls. We continue to have great sex. Everything is normal, except for her extended trips home. I suspect she is having an EA with an Ex BF.

So I track her iPhone. She is at her Mother’s house most of the time but I still think something is wrong. So I put an audio device in her car without any real evidence. Then I put one in her purse and the truth comes out. She came home Sunday night and then went to shop on Monday. I took Monday off work so I could listen to the tape without interruption. The audio captured everything. 

She was having an affair with her Step-Dad. It gets worse. It has been going on since before we were married. I was devastated. Her Step-Dad is only 7 years older than my wife. From what I gathered at that time is she started the affair with him when she was about 17 or 18, well before she met me.
Her purse must have been in the living room because they had sex very close to her purse. I could hear the heavy breathing. They did not use protection (I had a Vasectomy) and she “loves it when he finishes inside of her”. I almost threw up. Then her Step-Dad says, “Now that your Mother is gone, we can get married. She says ok. I will tell LL and ask for a divorce.

I thought I was going to puke on the spot. I was filled with rage and I wanted to rush to her work and start yelling. I could not think straight and was crying uncontrollably. I think I even blacked out due to the stress. I knew I was having a mental breakdown so I called my brother. Thank God he was home and he rushed over to help me. I do not tell him much only that I think I caught her cheating. He makes a few phone calls and within an hour, we head out to see an Attorney. This Attorney is AWESOME. It is a friend of a friend to my brother. He tells me to write down a check-list. 

He explains that Attorneys are Court Officers. They are bound by law and oath to follow certain rules and etiquette. They spend thousands of dollars on their education so they do not want to take any chances of walking in any gray area. Attorneys are not willing to jeopardize their entire careers for a single, nobody client. He tells me that this conversation did not happen and that he would never advise any client to break the law (as he is rolling his eyes).

However, since he is a friend of a friend; he is going to give me the unconventional advice. 1) Liquidate all assets including 401k, IRA, collectables etc. Take the hit and pay the taxes on the 401K. Convert every asset to cash or gold coins 2) Sell personal items like guns, tools etc to your brother. Get a receipt for fair market value. 3) Sell the house, get an apartment 4) Run.

So I make up a story that my brother and his wife are having problems so he is going to stay with us. My wife agrees. I also make up a story that we need to upgrade our house. So, I put it on the market and it sells within 3 days. We had 7 days to vacate. A week later, we move into a nice condo very close to our house so the girls do not have to change schools. I pay extra not to sign a year-long lease and pay month-to-month. I put it in my name ONLY. My wife does not suspect anything because she thinks this is temporary anyway and we will be buying a larger house soon. So she did not question why my brother, who took possession of everything I owned.

My brother only stayed with us for a few days but it was CRITICAL. He was my rock even though he is my “little brother” who I used to beat up on a weekly basis. He finally told his wife and they schedule counseling themselves to avoid any problems. I am glad they did as they had hidden issues themselves but they worked them out.
I transfer all my money to a newly opened bank account. I have over $500K. My wife and I start looking at new houses. It was very difficult for me to play this game. My Attorney insisted. You talk about difficult. I wanted to SCREAM at the top of my lungs. My eyes are blood shot from all the crying but I tell her my allergies are kicking up. We looked at a few houses and decide to make an offer on one of them. I told the Realtor that we would come into the office next week with the signed offer, just to keep suspicions at bay.

The wife goes and meets Jim for dinner and tells him that she and I will be buying a bigger house soon. Then when the divorce is final and she gets the house, Jim can sell his (and her now dead Mother’s) house, and move in with her and the girls. I cannot believe what I am hearing from the audio tapes.

I know at this point that I MUST move forward. So I buy a safe and install it in my parent’s basement. They are retired now and travel often. They have not been in the basement in years so they will not find it. My brother helps me. I put all the money in the safe except for a few thousand in the joint checking account.

We get back to our apartment and she is so excited about moving that she wants to have sex. I could not get excited. My mind was toggling between fantasy and reality. On one hand, I was excited to move to a bigger house and pretend to have this wonderful life with a woman I dearly love with our children. However, I get sick to my stomach when I come to reality that my wife is a *****.

My Attorney also suggest that I get my girls DNA tested, which I agree. I had to pay the expedited service because I had to know. I love my girls to death and I had already made up my mind that no matter the results, these are MY girls. 

Later that week, my Attorney tells me to implement step 4-RUN. He tells me to get a first class ticket to Vegas, rent a Cadillac Escalade, and hit the casinos over an extended weekend. He tells me to make sure I pay for most things with a credit card if I can. Buy the entire Black Jack table drinks for hours, tip the dealer and pit Boss with Hundred Dollar bills. He even tells me to head out to the Bunny Ranch for a few days and make sure to buy gas out there with a credit card. The wife thinks I am in Vegas golfing with my brother so she has no clue.

I work for a very large but private company. I tell my boss about my wife cheating and that I need to take a leave of absence for several months. He tells me to take a year if I need to and check in with him often. He tells me I can have my job back whenever I want it. I thank him for being such a great guy, I pack a few things and take the name tag off my door and head home.

I get back to town from my weekend excursion and he gives me a phone number to Gambler’s Anonymous. I call them and join their support group the next day’s meeting. My Attorney now tells me it is time to confront the *****. So I tell the girls to sleep over at their friends. My brother comes over but does not come in until I give the word. He is the Process Server. My Attorney drafted the divorce papers and eviction notice. However, I wanted the chance to talk to her alone first. I needed to get it off my chest. I have been a living, walking zombie for 3 weeks.

I ask her if she is cheating on me. She denies it. I then ask her “Are you are sure? Now she is getting curious and anxious. I tell her that I know she has been ****ing her Step Dad. Her expression was priceless. “I haven’t but how would you know?” She denies and somewhat confesses in the same statement. I tell her that I will not ask her “Why” only that I know 100%. She starts to cry and admits. She says she wants a divorce. So I wave my brother in. He hands her the Divorce Papers and the eviction notice. In my state they have 15 days to leave, if not, then another 7 days for a court date, then another 7 days to get out. So in all, 30 days total. However, if they abandon the home, the locks can be changed.

She gets angry with me and starts yelling; calling me names and it was all my fault. Then I tell her that I know 100% it started BEFORE I met her. Now she knows she is caught. She then gets righteous and tells me that she will get half of everything anyway so “what is the difference. I know you have over a half a million in your 401K and IRA. So Jim and I will be moving to Miami soon.” My response is “Really. Well you can have everything and it will not buy you a plane ticket.” She then says that Jim has hired a Lawyer, and she made copied of my 401K statements.

Now I am really pissed. This ***** has been contriving against me for months, maybe years; waiting for her Mother to die so she can take half of my stuff and marry Jim. So I tell her, well that is last month’s statement. I remind her that my trip to Vegas was financed by the 401K. I told her that I knew several weeks ago and I took everything and blew it. I logged into my account and showed her. There was a dividend payment of like $300 so there was a balance. She was in shock and asked “What about the money from the sale of the house?” My reply, “Opps I think I spent that at the Bunny Ranch. I have a receipt if you want to see it. I blew everything out there. I would rather blow everything on myself than give it to you and Jim.”

Now she is really angry. “Well the Judge will make you pay me alimony”. I say I don’t think so because I quit my job. I show her the discharge papers. I then tell her that she really ****ed with my head and I lost it. I had to find a way to stay sane so I quit my job, emptied my bank account and went to Vegas.

She calls Jim and tells him everything right in front of me and my brother. So she puts Jim speaker phone. Jim tells me that he will sue me for everything I have and that his Attorney is “real good”. I tell him that my Attorney is even better. I offer to give them everything I own if they will just leave me and the girls alone. She says, “no way will I let you have the girls. They are my life”. 

So I respond, ‘Really, were you thinking of them when you were having a 3-some with Jim and his brother?”. That was the priceless moment. I could hear crickets. Then I say, I have audio if you want to hear it. So they both say yes. I play only the part of the 3-some. Now my wife is panicking. She hangs up from Jim and sits down. I ask her, “Do you want me to play this for the girls, for your family and my family, for your co-workers because you know I will”
She starts crying uncontrollably. Her game is up. She had everything but lost it. She agrees to move in with Jim and the girls stay with me. She attempts several times to get me to have dinner. She stops over to and wants to have sex. I tell her, “No thanks. I do not want to have that skanky thing after you have been giving it away to many others”
I agree to have dinner together so we can tell the girls about the pending divorce. Since they are older it really did not affect them. They just did not want to move again, which I agreed. The Ex was surprised about how calm the girls were. I think teenagers are so absorbed with their own life and drama that they are less affected. Sure they want us to stay together but the Ex and me are at least civil to each other.

We have our first court date and her and Jim’s Attorney asks for full disclosure of all assets. My Attorney hands him a one-page document. Their Attorney looks at it and says “Where is the 401K money?” My Attorney says, “Wait a second, I will look”. He then pulls out a 3 page document will all the receipts from Vegas. 

The Judge asks both Attorneys if everyone has disclosed everything. Their Attorney explains about the $500K in 401K and $300K from the sale of the house. My Attorney says, “Your Honor, my client was a loving and faithful husband and Father for over 15 years. On or about May 15, he discovered that his wife was having an affair with her Step Father for over 20 years. We have evidence of multiple orgies as well. So my client had a nervous breakdown. He quit his job, cashed out of everything, took the money to Vegas for a long weekend and spent every last dime. He is currently enrolled in Gambler’s Anonymous and here are the attendance logs of his participation. My client has nothing, your Honor. He is a man broke in spirit and finances.”

Her Attorney looked white as a ghost. She must not have told him everything. So the Judge orders us to a conference room to try and negotiate. My Attorney offers that I get the girls 70/30, pay for their medical and all expenses, and pay for their college. She gets to see them 2 weekends per month. There will be no payment of any kind to either party. Their Attorney says “No deal, We want money.” I am still angry about this whole situation. I then look her straight in the eyes and say, “I will not divulge the audio recordings to the children if she you accept.”

The Attorney quickly pipes in and says he will ask the Judge to confiscate any illegal audio recorded without his client’s knowledge. My Attorney says the audio was uploaded to an Internet Site in the Caymen Islands so it is out of the Jurisdiction of any US Court. Her Attorney huddles and tells her to accept the deal. She cannot believe what is happening and signs the paperwork.

I walk out of there high as a kite. Finally my day of retribution. I go home and the girls are still in school. I go to my parents and buy 3 First Class tickets to Miami Beach. About an hour later, the now-Ex texts me that she wants to talk to me. I tell her no because me and the girls are heading to Miami Beach for a week.

I hate the fact that I STILL love my Ex. Whenever the girls and I are having dinner, I always think of the good times. I read somewhere on another thread where the guy said that he deals with the loss as if his previous wife was dead and gone and the new woman is an evil witch. This is exactly how I felt. It has been over 6 months, and I still love her. I miss her. She comes around occasionally and in a moment of weakness, she will spend the night. I tell her that she cannot do this because the girls will get confused. It is all about them. She will even complain about how Jim only uses her for sex and that she really does not love him.

She asks if we can R and I tell her no. It would be different if she told the truth about her affair when we were dating and it stopped after our marriage. I could have dealt with that. However, the years and years of lying and betrayal takes its toll. It is like death by 1000 paper cuts.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Sniff, sniff

Ahem


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Felt like I just read a novel.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Lostme said:


> Felt like a just read a novel.


It could've been better. Didn't lead up to the ending enough. Needed more dialog, etc.

Meh, I'd rate it a solid 3 maybe a weak 4

Yawn


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## Lovin_Life (Apr 22, 2017)

Yea, I know it is a little long and jumps around some. The D occurred 6 months ago so there was a lot to get in. I am not sure what the point of my story is. I did not get into Child Sexual Abuse much which I think is the main point. I have come to learn that it started with her and Jim a few years before 18.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Nice story. Neatly tied up. I think it would have been better if one of your kids was her step-dad's so her kid would also be her step brother. Maybe you can do a rewrite and add that


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Yes zombie thread, but it sounds like the whole thing was made up anyway.


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