# I need advice



## Jaden0413 (Mar 17, 2013)

Three weeks ago, my wife decided that she needs space and started living with a friend. We have been married for a year and a half. At first I tried the whole begging and promising thing, and that didn't work at all. I spent 2 weeks analyzing all the things that I did wrong in the relationship and have begun the changing process. My wife says that she doesn't think that she can be married to anyone and get what she needs....her freedom. Yesterday, my wife and I went on a date all day and it was alot of fun. At lunch, my wife started asking about our relationship which I didn't at first want to talk about, but as time went on we talked about everything. she seemed to understand and looked very frightened and scared. I told her that I understood her trepidation and that I didn't blame her if she didn't believe this 360 change was real. We talked about it more as time went on, and as the night drew to a close she said something like every time I think I have made up my mind to be done, you and I talk and I am not so sure anymore. She said she has alot to think about and she will see me soon. My question is If my wife can go out and live the free life and every time she misses me can come back because she knows how much I care about her, why would she change that? Should I not talk to her? she did ask for space to think, but I realize now that you cant respect someone who lets you walk all over them. I dont want her to think that I don't care and am through like every guy before me, but I respect myself enough to know that this doesn't seem like a way to get her back. My friends say I should "play hard to get" Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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## Jen862013 (Mar 19, 2013)

Stop being this girl’s doormat. You need to set her straight she is either married to you or she is not it’s that simple. Tell her you love her but you but she has to make a decision to stay in the marriage or you with file for divorce. Then do it and don’t waste your time waiting around for someone who does not want to be with you. Life’s too short to be with someone who doesn’t love you or value to what you have to offer.


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## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

She has the best of both worlds. Tell her marriage counseling, living with you, or separate. She has to have incentive to change and take action, or she will just continue to do the same.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

*why would she change that?*
Chances are she wont unless her lifestyle craps on her and then you as a second choice maybe given some attention by her.


*Should I not talk to her?*

Make up your mind what you want from her then put it in writing. If she wants more information about how to make things work then talk about it but remember talk is cheap and actions speak much louder than words. *Her actions will tell you what her real agenda is.*

You made a mistake when you started the begging. Work on your self so that you improve in areas that will build you up. The goal is to get your self into a position so that you are strong enough to not compromise what is right because of the hurt she is putting on you.


If your wife really wants total freedom then she should not marry. You are young enough that you are not in real deep with this marriage. If you do not take a stand now you may wind up compromising and going back to being somewhat of a beggar. *If she is going to abandon the marriage then stop concentrating on her and work on you so that you can recover*.

You have a lot of life left to live and she is not the only woman in the world. *Respect and accountability are mandatory for a successful marriage.*


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