# Help me navigate these issues, please....



## Suckerpunched (Jan 27, 2011)

I suspect I'll have a couple of issues come up this month with the newly separated spouse and I. Yay! But, not really yay at all.

#1 I am taking the kids camping next week. At a park, "in town" ~ relatively speaking. I know that he is going to ask if he can stop by or bring dinner out or something like that. PS, this is someone who walked away from a 14yr relationship b/c he "wasn't happy", but didn't want to do anything to fix it.

Should I play nice and allow him to, or not? I'm not really sure how I feel about it. So I'd like to use y'all as a sounding board.

#2 It is my younger son's birthday at the end of the month. We have always taken the kids somewhere special. The place that this son wants to go is 2 hours away and we usually make a day of it.
I know that my son will want us to all go together. I don't really want to be stuck with the man that walked out on me for a whole day.

What is a tactful way to navigate through this one?


Thanks!!


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

on number 1it depends is he do you feel he is doing this to string you along or because he is trying to show you he cares. Do not let him use your kids against use you or foran excuse if this is just his way of causing pain do not allow him to do it. I actually have to start doing the opposite when my SO has duty (a military watch that is over night) I bring her dinner so the kids can spend time with their mom and so I can spend time with her. By divorcing me I have to realise she is giving up that act of kindness and love and not show it to her.

#2 If you can tolerate each other's presence and keep your relationship out of it for your son's birthday do it. having come from a broken home I would of prefered my parent's both there and be amicable and about me. Its your son's birthday celebrate him and keep your relationship on the curb and set that boundry with your exso before agreeing to him coming along.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

1. If he shows up, be cordial and don't go out of your way to engage him.

2. You guys could discuss the birthday plans. You don't have to go together. He can drive separate if he decides to come.

Is he having an affair?


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## Suckerpunched (Jan 27, 2011)

No signs of an affair. I'm aware that it is, statistically speaking; the answer to all of this.

He's adamantly denying it, and there is no suspicious behavior or proof.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

They always deny it. Maybe it's not an affair but you're right, it does sound suspect.


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