# Menopause - feel like I’m going crazy



## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

I’m not positive but I think I may be experiencing menopausal mood swings. I’ve been on a hormone based medication for about ten years and haven’t had a period since I began taking it so I can’t judge my status by my periods. Other than difficulty getting to sleep I have no other symptoms. I also currently have a tumor on each ovary and am being watched by my Gyn. I have an appt. with her in two weeks for another ultrasound. My sister, who is 43, has already begun experiencing hot flashes so this is what has me thinking I may be experiencing menopausal symptoms, maybe early symptoms run in my family.

I’m 47 years old and consider myself to be a level headed common sense kind of person but off and on now for about 5 weeks I’ve started to experience awful mood swings, almost debilitating. They come out of nowhere. The kind of thing where if I were to open my mouth I could cause real damage to others. Or I feel like doing drastic things like just getting up and walking out of work. I want to cry all the time but at the same time get intensely angry. I’m having real trouble coping with this. The smallest things set me off and I can’t find my usual inner voice of reason to calm me down.

For those of you who have experienced menopause does any of this ring any bells? Did you have mood swings this intense? I’m at my wits end. I’ll definitely mention all of this at my appt. but in the meantime would appreciate any advice.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

I've been perimenopausal (still have an annual period in spring) for about 7 years now, but I don't think I've had mood swings. (I'm 52.)

The hardest part for me has always been the split second prior to hot flashes, especially when they're on top of one another.

I'm so sorry that you're suffering.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

minimalME said:


> I've been perimenopausal (still have an annual period in spring) for about 7 years now, but I don't think I've had mood swings. (I'm 52.)
> 
> The hardest part for me has always been the split second prior to hot flashes, especially when they're on top of one another.
> 
> I'm so sorry that you're suffering.


Thank you minimal. I know hot flashes are supposed to be awful but I think I would trade this for hot flashes in a heartbeat.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Not said:


> Thank you minimal. I know hot flashes are supposed to be awful but I think I would trade this for hot flashes in a heartbeat.




50...still getting my periods like clockwork. No hot flashes...some mood swings which still revolve around my periods. 

Periods are a beast. SUPER heavy on the first 2-3 days with terrible cramping. Then Gone altogether. I would trade this for a normal 5-day period any day. 

I wish it would all just go away 


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## cc48kel (Apr 5, 2017)

I'm 50.. cycle is every 28 days.. I'm very moody around this time.. just plan irritated! If I snap at the kids, I do tell them I'm sorry that I got out of line (if I did at all). My BP is going up and don't know if it's due to hormones or my marriage. My periods are very heavy which is so annoying-- that 'that' itself makes me want to cry. Haven't had the hot flashes or trouble sleeping BUT every now and then I get anxiety where I'm worried or my mind doesn't stop. It's not fun at all BUT I've heard this all before from other women. What I don't get is some women have a tough time and then others say they went thru it with no problems. My mom doesn't recall anything about it but my older sisters complain of the flashes, sleep and a few other things. Defiantly mention all your symptoms at your next appt. And I hope you get some relief soon.


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

my guess is yes. Google perimenopausal rage.

This is not really early menopause. The peri-menopausal journey is about 10 years in total when the ovaries begin their slow decline in estrogen production. Chances are you will go through many other phases as well (sorry)

The mood swings, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, skin dryness, inability to concentrate and emotional outbursts are honestly very normal. AND VERY AWFUL.
I mean, they are ridiculous. I felt like I was a zombie for 10years. Within 6 months of my last period the fog cleared and felt like a million bucks!

Your intense mood swings do not have to be tolerated. Talk to your doctor. There may be something that can help. that said, you may find its time to take up a new sport or hobby. My friend took up boxing and knocked the jeepers out of a few punching bags. It helped.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Wow, that sounds awful. I hope it shifts for you soon.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, horrendous mood swings (started around 47 and continued for well over 10 years). I thought all of that would never end but it finally did. Life's good on the other side but it can be very difficult getting there. I did it without taking anything and I'm not sure I would do it that way again.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Everyone is different. The lucky ones barely know they're even going through it. The rest of us have a different story to tell. I had very minimal hot flashes so that wasn't a problem but I did on occasion have rage issues (and zero patience). I try to be a reasonable person at all times and I very often wasn't when I was going through it. I hated that most of all.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I'm 39 turning 40 in a month and even though my cycles are regular my bleeding has been reduced considerably. I'm glad about that but I get more cramps than before.

After turning 39 I became depressed and anxious. I went to the Dr. she did a bunch of tests and all my hormone levels were fine. She said I'm probably starting perimenopause.

I'm better now but I struggle with horrible PMS, insomnia, hair loss, gray hair, night sweats, livid dreams, some anxiety. 

I struggled when I was using birth control pills and during my second pregnancy so I assume I'm sensitive to hormonal changes.

I'm glad my husband is supportive. I can't stand myself during my period days!


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## EveningThoughts (Jul 12, 2018)

...


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Sorry, I'm a man... :laugh: my wife blames menopause as one of the reasons for us splitting up... but you know what? I didn't even know she was going through it... she never mentioned anything, she never behaved differently... is this normal? I'm pretty baffled by the whole thing... maybe it's just another of her excuses... :scratchhead:


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

In Absentia said:


> Sorry, I'm a man... :laugh: my wife blames menopause as one of the reasons for us splitting up... but you know what? I didn't even know she was going through it... she never mentioned anything, she never behaved differently... is this normal? I'm pretty baffled by the whole thing... maybe it's just another of her excuses... :scratchhead:


It’s an absolutely life altering event for some of us. After I passed through it I became an almost different person.
You have many other issues in your marriage IA that occurred long before menopause. 

She may not have behaved differently on the outside for several reasons: 1. Her changes were INTERNAL (thoughts,mood) 2. She kept it hidden (how? Idk it’s a SH*T storm) because you say she kept lots of things hidden before this 3. You didn’t notice

On this particular issue I’d give her a free pass. 

It honestly shows what kind of man you are that you would come on this thread and inquire (a caring person)

But no, don’t doubt yourself. You have many a good reason to continue forward with your D plans. Hope this helps.


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## 20yr (Apr 19, 2019)

EveningThoughts said:


> Have you been tested to see if you are starting menopause already?


Do you need to ask doctor for this test or do they normally do it? I have a physical coming up and am wondering if I should ask. I've been waking up sweating and not sleeping well but I'm not sure if it is the start of menopause or my stress. I have Mirena and no longer get a period so it's hard to tell if there is any difference there.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

aquarius1 said:


> On this particular issue I’d give her a free pass.


I know she was going through it because she hated having sex when she had the period and sometimes we had to "reschedule" because her period all of a sudden reappeared... or maybe she was just lying about it? I know for sure that at the end of our sexual relationship she didn't have her period anymore. But she really never mentioned anything. This is not surprising, though. What I don't understand is why she mentioned the menopause as one of her reasons to stop having sex with me, when she seemed to be absolutely fine. But maybe she wasn't and she didn't say anything... as usual!

I don't know... I tend to believe she stopped loving me ages ago and now that the kids have grown up she doesn't have to keep me there with sex. The menopause is just another excuse. Thank you for clarifying things and sorry for butting in!


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

20yr said:


> Do you need to ask doctor for this test or do they normally do it? I have a physical coming up and am wondering if I should ask. I've been waking up sweating and not sleeping well but I'm not sure if it is the start of menopause or my stress. I have Mirena and no longer get a period so it's hard to tell if there is any difference there.


If you go in with your concerns they should do the test. It measures several of your “female” hormone levels. That’s said, just because they come back normal doesn’t mean you aren’t already on the journey. Perimenopause levels are all over the map.

Menopause does not just APPEAR one day in bloodwork. As I said,it’s a 10 yr journey from beginning to final period. Lots of starts and stops. One step forward, two back.

But bringing it to your dr’s attention will begin the conversation. If they don’t suggest the test, ask for it.


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

In Absentia said:


> I know she was going through it because she hated having sex when she had the period and sometimes we had to "reschedule" because her period all of a sudden reappeared... or maybe she was just lying about it? I know for sure that at the end of our sexual relationship she didn't have her period anymore. But she really never mentioned anything. This is not surprising, though. What I don't understand is why she mentioned the menopause as one of her reasons to stop having sex with me, when she seemed to be absolutely fine. But maybe she wasn't and she didn't say anything... as usual!
> 
> I don't know... I tend to believe she stopped loving me ages ago and now that the kids have grown up she doesn't have to keep me there with sex. The menopause is just another excuse. Thank you for clarifying things and sorry for butting in!


Stop apologizing for caring enough to inquire. I wish more men showed such interest.

Yes, periods reappear suddenly. It’s a wild ride. 
After that we experience other unpleasant changes that make sex a problem.
All can be dealt with if a person wants to deal with them, along with their partner.
Some women sex drive disappears due to hormone change.
Some women it ramps up (no kids, less stress and responsibility)

If sexual intimacy is important to you in a relationship, then it’s important. At least you let your partner know. She chose not to try to work with you. 
My H never explained it to me, just said he wanted sex more often.
It was only after a near miss health wise and a LOT of late night internet searches that I figured it out.
Thank heavens, as we were both on divorce’s door.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

This is so true.

I could tell that my body was behaving differently. I could feel it.

But when I went in for testing, the values came back normal, so I was told that I wasn't entering menopause. 

Of course, I was. 

So, trust yourself - regardless of what the doctors or tests say. There's always the possibility that you could be wrong, but so can they.




aquarius1 said:


> Menopause does not just APPEAR one day in bloodwork.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

"Normal" is a range where the majority of people fit in. That doesn't mean everyone does. I fall outside the range in a couple of key areas whenever my bloodwork is done and have for several decades but that's normal for me. You are the only one who knows how you feel and "normal" is not nearly as black and white as doctors usually indicate. We are all different.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Menopause for some women is a nightmare, it's like periods x 100. I had a pretty awful time with mood swings, hot flashes, body pains, stinkin thinking, irritable, raging, body aches, no energy, depressed thoughts, etc. 
I tried bioidenticals for a year then moved to Ayurveda supplements which seemed to help. My H said I was like I was just before my period but 10 times worse. It is really awful. Coming out the other side, feel more balanced now.
Many Hs don't have a clue and don't educate themselves on it either. The dropping of estrogen and progesterone levels and comparatively increased testosterone make menopausal women less likely to suffer the BS they would normally accept when they were more nurturing. Many men are floored by this.
If you are a man and your wife is peri/menopausal, educate yourself.

https://medium.com/@rebeccaobgyn/peri-menopause-aka-the-abyss-f1718dec1822


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

aine said:


> https://medium.com/@rebeccaobgyn/peri-menopause-aka-the-abyss-f1718dec1822


THIS! Read this. It is absolutely excellent


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Even if your levels are falling in “normal” ranges, one could be higher than the other causing a dominance. 


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

aquarius1 said:


> Stop apologizing for caring enough to inquire. I wish more men showed such interest.



If she communicated with me properly, we wouldn't be where we are now. But it's my fault because I reacted badly to the non communication. The menopause thing is a clear example. I had no idea she was going through it... ah well...


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

My naturopathic physician put me on a supplement about five years ago. At the time, I hadn't appeared to be in peri-menopause, but now I definitely am. This is the supplement: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0011DV7V...olid=2VORYC5TWY7TA&psc=1&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it

I stopped taking it for a couple of weeks when I ran out and had forgotten to reorder. I started having hot and cold flashes. Since I reordered and started taking it again, the hot and cold flashes have completely gone away. 

This may not be great news, but it also regulates my periods. When I stopped taking it, my period stopped, but I was miserable with hot and cold flashes. I missed two periods, but they started back up again when I got back on track with the supplement. I'm 55 and I've only missed a couple of periods over the last two years, otherwise I'm still regular. I'd much rather have my period and feel good than to stop having periods and feel lethargic and constantly in flux regarding my temperature.

Other than that, I've been blessed in that I don't notice anything different. Menopause hasn't been hard for me. I find as I get older I get calmer and more even in my moods. I hope by the time I'm 80 I'll be the most chill person ever.

If you are interested in this product, I recommend clicking on the Vitanica link on Amazon, up with the name of the product. Click on menopause and check out what they have. There is another menopause formula that is designed to be used with other products, such as the one I linked above.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Since you are on a hormone based medication, and it's been enough to stop your period for a decade, I'd be very careful about taking anything else without checking first with your doctor. 

You could also read into estrogen dominance and Ray Peat's work.


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## workerbee (Feb 15, 2018)

I feel your pain.
Well, I DID. I'm in my late 40's and in menopause now. Perimenopause didn't last 10 years for me, more like 6 years? 

2 years ago my labs were trending down, but still adequate estrogen and progesterone. Now......a toddler has more estrogen. No kidding. 
The hot flashes, the hormonal rages, the waking up in the middle of the night in a panic filled with doom and despair......I could not handle life anymore. 
I was literally a very thin line away from blowing up my marriage, my life and my job. The doom, the sadness, absolutely HORRIBLE. 

I finally did the bioidentical hormone thing ....I was FLOORED when my lab results showed I had already completely passed into menopause. 

[I chuckled at the 'estrogen dominance ' comment. It's discussed SO MUCH I assumed that was me as well. Funny, all my symptoms were because of NO estrogen]

I've been on bioidentical hormones since late June.
I cannot REMEMBER the last hot flash. 
Hormone replacement stopped them almost immediately. 

(I CAN remember the last sadness and doom I experienced, but my feelings were based on REALITY and quite legit.)

I have a libido and overall pretty even keeled, although I will admit I the last few months I feel a bit scatterbrained, and it isn't like me. I am not very happy this is happening , and on a regular basis.
It feels, I guess, like what ADD must feel like?....I'm not sure....it's like my brain connections are fuzzy and scattered. 
At this point I'm chalking this up to hormone replacement.
It has not yet been 3 months, and my levels went from NOTHING to being flooded.....so maybe my brain is awash in hormones and feels a little drunk lofl!
Anyone else experience this?

You know estrogen is completely involved with serotonin levels. So the panic, the sorrow, the symptoms that occur make complete sense (eh, mostly)


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

One thing that every woman needs to be concerned about when on UNOPPOSED estrogen (meaning NO progesterone to thin the lining of the uterus) will require close monitoring of their uterine lining and regular check ups to avoid endometrial cancer.


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