# Can't let my guard down



## Redone (Feb 10, 2013)

To my H .. Thanks for the reminder this morning on Easter Day why I need to stay focused on moving on. I let my guard down for a few days because U acted somewhat normal but when you have a tantrum over something so stupid like the dog bowls soaking in the sink it gave me that slap back to reality . Yep no matter how I tell him whether it's nicely , or in the heat of the moment " I like you better on meds " he tells me I need to walk away. Yep he's right ! In one week I am taking a real estate class and this week starting my own home based jewelry buisness and starting with a new nursing staffing agency for home health. I refuse to let my guard down again. I need to stay on track !


----------



## LaundryMan (Mar 17, 2015)

I feel like I have to weigh in because I also am on medication and am unbearable (according to my wife) when not...

How clear have you/others made it that his behavior is both 1) not acceptable and 2) clearly different from when he is medicated? I say "and others" because if he thinks that you are the only one who has a problem, he may well not listen to you. You'll want an independent account to help your case.

Is he generally taking care of himself? If so, he should be capable of listening to you and making the personal sacrifice. If not, it may be outside your power to do anything about it. Keep us informed.


----------



## Redone (Feb 10, 2013)

For the most part it's just me telling him this. And you are right becase of this he doesn't listen to me or take it to heart . It doesn't matter if I say it from the heart because I love him or the heat of the moment. Either way he doesn't take it well because I am pointing my finger at him. I am emotionally drained . I am so tired of walking on egg shells since he has been off his meds . I just never know what his reaction might be . It can be a full blown irate temper tantrum or the depression where he isolates himself downstairs on his computer for hours. I really can't do more . I have told him enough and I just am at a point where after 27 years I just want to be happy . Do things that I want to do not worried how anything I do or say will effect how he acts. I am trying really hard to for once do something for myself which is very hard . Thank you for listening and replying. It is a hard subject to discuss with family/ friends


----------



## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

I think you have to accept that he cannot be the partner you need. Once you accept that, you plan your life, make your goals around that. This is something your already doing, but you can carefully analyze your life, and I am guessing that the pain is not worth the effort any longer.

Everyone has a limit, and you have tried to already reach him. Since he cannot reciprocate in taking care of you, your needs, and what you need to be in a relationship with him, it is better to use that energy to take care of yourself. No one else will.

Let him be the one to come to you if he wants a real marriage. In the mean time, start detaching, and moving on. You do not want to wait for the rest of your life for a change that might not come. He has to be the one who has to take that step himself if he wants to have a chance of saving the marriage.


----------



## Redone (Feb 10, 2013)

A couple of years ago we went through the same situation except he had never been open to meds before and after a series of anxiety ,depression and a rage of tempers flaring he realized he needed to try something. He went through a few different meds til he he was able to tolerate Welbutin. Now we are here again and I am just numb to it all really there is no pain and I can tell that I am starting to detach. From my end there's just nothing else I can do or say. I just gotta keep pushing myself to move on and focus on my own goals and happiness .


----------

