# Will you do that?



## Bodum (Mar 25, 2012)

Ladies, need some insights here..

My girlfriend is 35, described as a boyish girl by herself and friends around her. I met her about five months ago. a few months after she just broke up with her ex, and they dated for 7 years. Reason for breaking up, according to her, he revealed to her one day that he had always been seeing another girl. 

Anyway, my question, she has a high school lesbian friend, very close to her staying in Toronto. She is attending a wedding there, and plans to stay for 2 weeks. Although she has other friends and relatives there, she plans to stay at the place of this lesbian friend and sleeping on the same bed. As a heterosexual woman, will you feel comfortable sleeping with a lesbian friend for two weeks?


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## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

I would feel comfortable after a good conversation.
It happened to me once. I had a gay friend, and she was coming home for the night. Before we went to bed, we talk. I told her I had a boyfriend, I love him and I'm heterosexual not homosexual.
She founded funny because I didn't have to say all that. She knew. They can tell what sex we are attracted to. However, I was more comfortable telling her before going to bed. Then it was just like having a friend over for a girl's night.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm not comfortable sleeping with another woman. Period. I don't care what her sexual orientation is. 

I'd be opting for the couch.


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

I have actually slept with a female friend before and just slept. But it wasn't for two weeks. I think there is lots of risk for problems


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## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

really? You never had those girl's night where you all are in you pijamas and laughing? Never had those night where you just don't sleep, you are in bed telling stories or talking about boys?


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

I wouldn't be able to sleep for two weeks in a bed with anybody except my husband, doesn't matter who they are. And not for sexual reasons. It's just uncomfortable. One or two nights, sure. Thrown together while traveling, sure. But not two whole weeks, what a pain. I wouldn't do it. I can sort of see myself agreeing to it and then after 3-4 days finding another solution. But the orientation thing wouldn't bother me.


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

I'd be uncomfortable sleeping with someone else, period. I'd opt for the couch no matter how long I was staying or my friends' sexual orientation.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I wouldn't sleep in the same bed as anyone who wasn't my lover for two weeks - too uncomfortable, no matter who or what the reason.

I'd sleep on the couch, stay at a hotel, something.

And you didn't ask, but this:


> I met her about five months ago. a few months after she just broke up with her ex, and they dated for 7 years. Reason for breaking up, according to her, he revealed to her one day that he had always been seeing another girl.


HUGE red flag. Not only are you a rebound, but you are a rebound after a MAJOR infidelity and betrayal. Major. This woman has been hurt in a terrible and deep way. This dude lived a double life for 7 years! Lied to her face every minute of their relationship for 7 years! That takes more than a few months to overcome. Tread carefully, very carefully.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I don't like sharing my bed with anyone other than my spouse and kids. 

That friend's sexual orientation wouldn't make me think she would hit on me. I think it's presumptuous to imagine that just because a friend is a lesbian that she's sexually interested in me. After all are all straight guys interested in me? No. So why would a gay woman automatically be interested...


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

No problem at all. Having had 3 sisters and lots of female friends, I'm fine with sharing a bed. I'd never presume someone would be sexually attracted to me. Had two lesbian roommates for a while; no big deal. Traditionally, women have been more comfortable with these kinds of things.


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## Bodum (Mar 25, 2012)

thanks for sharing your thoughts everyone! 

yes, I am a little worried because my girl friend mentioned to me that her lesbian friend has actually turned a couple heterosexual female friends into homosexual before. Also, my girlfriend feels very comfortable talking with guys about other girls, like who is pretty and who got a great body etc...although I understand that many heterosexual girls do that too sometimes.......

my girlfriend told me that she used to have a male co-worker who always shared his sexual experiences and showed my girlfriend the women he has slept with...and my girlfriend made a comment like, "those girls are really pretty". I am just thinking...it is not common for a guy to feel so comfortable talking about this with a female friend, and I doubt a girl will feel very comfortable hearing all these from a guy in most cases...at least, as a guy, I won't share that with a female friend


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Check out the thread in this forum about our crushes--including the other women we would "do." It's hilarious. We may be 100% hetero but we can also appreciate female beauty without feeling the least bit weird about it. And no one "turns" someone gay--people are born gay, hetero, and somewhere in between. Trust me, if a woman likes d*ck, she isn't going to throw it over for a roll in the hay for some p*ssy. Crude, but true.


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## Bodum (Mar 25, 2012)

HUGE red flag. Not only are you a rebound, but you are a rebound after a MAJOR infidelity and betrayal. Major. This woman has been hurt in a terrible and deep way. This dude lived a double life for 7 years! Lied to her face every minute of their relationship for 7 years! That takes more than a few months to overcome. Tread carefully, very carefully.[/QUOTE]

You have a very good point! I was aware of the risk you mentioned..that's why I tried my best to just hang out with her as a friend for a while first. Although we kind of moved on to a deeper relationship now...but we openly talked and agreed to take things very slowly.

But then recently, I feel a little strange....she started actually telling me how much she likes me, and misses me when she can't see me...and how much she looks forward to seeing me on every Sat night (we started cooking together every Saturday night a couple months ago)...she talked about it a lot...but then, I didnt feel she was actually making effort to spend more time with me....example...she kept telling me she really wanted Saturday to come sooner so that we could hang out....but every Saturday...she would have other stuffs to do and can't really meet until like 4, 5 p.m. and she never suggested to meet earlier and do things in the afternoon, and never suggested to meet on Sunday as well.

instead...although I never actually said it, I suggested a couple times to do stuffs with her on Sunday as well...but she said, she would try but not sure if she could make it....so I usually made that Sunday available for her, but then, two times, she eventually said she was too busy and couldn't make it.

I made my question in the first post in present tense so I want to see how others would do....but actually, she already went to Toronto a few days ago....last weekend, same thing, even she was going away soon and told me she would really miss me...she never tried to meet earlier last Saturday...didn't ask to spend more time with me on Sunday....

so, what I hear a lot doesn't seem to be consistent with what she does....that's why I started feeling more and more unsure about this relationship.

or may be, she acts the way she does because she feels insecure too...I don't know..feeling confused and don't know what to do


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

growtogether said:


> really? You never had those girl's night where you all are in you pijamas and laughing? Never had those night where you just don't sleep, you are in bed telling stories or talking about boys?


You forgot to mention the pillow fights in your jammies, and braiding each other's hair and stuffing your bras with socks and giggling all night. (just kidding, making fun of what some men think about girl sleep overs).


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

omega said:


> I wouldn't be able to sleep for two weeks in a bed with anybody except my husband, doesn't matter who they are. And not for sexual reasons. It's just uncomfortable. One or two nights, sure. Thrown together while traveling, sure. But not two whole weeks, what a pain. I wouldn't do it. I can sort of see myself agreeing to it and then after 3-4 days finding another solution. But the orientation thing wouldn't bother me.


Ambien would take care of that problem. But it does make me very horny . . . . hmmm, maybe Ambien isn't such a great idea


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Do you have any bi-curious thoughts? Is that why you are treading so lightly about this subject. Because in black and white, two women sharing a bed on vacation is no big deal. You seem to be sweating this and questioning a lot. 

Do you wonder what it would be like to go down on a woman? If that thought doesn't make you want to puke, do some soul searching. Girl friends ususually don't say they miss you so often, so perhaps she has a crush. So do you see yourself in the same bed with her, while you have on footie pajamas, a robe on, and an extra blanket, laying on your back with the covers pulled up to your chin scared to death she is going to make a move? 

I may be wrong, but you really seem to be worried about this and you know the saying :ME THINKS THOU DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH. Look inside yourself and ask why you are so concerned. Keep coming here with your thoughts so we can help you sort them out. Everything will turn out as it is meant to turn out.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

I'm female. I have lesbian friends, bisexual friends, gay male friends, and straight friends both male and female.

None of us have sex with each other. 

I personally could not sleep next to anyone else unless it was a spouse because I prefer to sleep naked, and that's just awkward. BUT even still, I also sprawl out and wrap around things and what not, so I generally would rather sleep on the floor.

I'm also straight. I've spent nights sleeping next to fellow straight men in the same bed..guess what, we SLEPT. My lesbian friends know that I have no interest, and my guy friends either learn that, or get lost.

I'd give your gf a little credit, and be more concerned about the red flag mentioned earlier in the thread than her and her old buddy who happens to be a lesbian.


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## Bodum (Mar 25, 2012)

Please share some insights...about redflags...like she would not trust men easily anymore? so it's hard for people like her to develop relationship? she may transfer her anger toward me? what should I do if I really want to carryon this relationship?


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Same sex in the same bed, if it's a good friend, family or such I could do it. I grew up with alot of people under 1 roof so it's not a big deal. If he was gay i doubt I would have a problem if he's a friend and he knows that there is no way in hell things would happen.

I'm not homophobic so in my mind it's just a buddy. Dual tent with a guy friend, single bed with family or guy friends, hell even on a couch (not facing one another but feet to head and 2 different blankets).

When you have to fit 15 guys into 1 motel room for Vegas, you don't get picky about where you sleep :rofl:

My wife on the other hand will not sleep with other people at all. Went to Vegas with friends and she threw a fit so I had to get another room just for us. And since then some of my friends have told me they thought she was stuck up :lol: It's just the way she was brought up.


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## Marielle (Mar 28, 2012)

Bodum said:


> ...Although she has other friends and relatives there, she plans to stay at the place of this lesbian friend and sleeping on the same bed. As a heterosexual woman, will you feel comfortable sleeping with a lesbian friend for two weeks?


I would never agree to it unless I was "curious." I used to be okay with having girl/guy-friends in my bed, but one time, a "straight", married girlfriend of mine woke me up with her hands on my breasts...well, I felt violated, and that was the end of that friendship. So, no, I would not feel comfortable.


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## itgetsbetter (Mar 1, 2012)

Yes, as a hetero woman, I would feel totally comfortable sleeping in the same bed as a gay woman as long as there had never been anything but platonic feelings between us. It would be no big deal to me. Even if she did decide to try to get some of my goodies, I would just turn her down and find alternate arrangements. I really would doubt she would try that though. It just doesn't strike me as likely...and if it did happen, so? Say no, move to another bed.


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