# On the road to separation - what to do?



## equerry36 (Oct 7, 2014)

We've been married for 13 years, in a relationship for over 20 years. 6 months ago my wife had an emotional affair. They met at a social event and started talking on facebook, she told me it went as far as meeting a few times and some kissing but no sex. Not that this matters to me as much as the fact that she has told me she fell in love with this guy. She assures me there has been no contact since I found out, but I know that she still thinks about him and what that relationship did for her. 3 years previous to this she had another facebook-based relationship with a guy she went to school with which I also found out about, although this was long distance so I don't think it went any further than some 'inappropriate' messaging. This was a big warning sign that unfortunately we didn't really act on - I am paying for that mistake now.

In the last 6 months we have talked a lot and have recently started couple counselling (way too late!). Our marriage has always been based on attraction and love, we're both good parents to 3 kids and are a very 'functional' couple, and sex has always been there (we do fancy each other) but we've always lacked real emotional closeness and intimacy, being really inside each others lives, and she says she cannot live without this any more and has almost given up looking for it in our marriage, I think she started checking out a few years ago and its now a classic case of "I love you but I'm not in love with you". I have had problems with emotional intimacy /openness in the past and have been distant to her at times in our marriage and have really not ever dealt with that properly. I was not brought up to be very emotionally literate and had some issues in my childhood that have prevented that side from developing much, and I can be a firmly closed book, although in the last few years I have worked on that a lot through therapy and feel much more open that I ever used to and I really do want to be much more open and intimate with her now and she knows this. To be fair to her I think she has tried hard over many years to find what she needs in me but has not communicated her needs well (by her own admission). So, whilst I am not responsible for her actions, we have really both contributed to what has happened.

She thinks that she needs to decide whether she can emotionally re-engage with me or not in order to give the counselling a chance and has asked for space and says she might need to move out as a trial separation. We are currently spending a week apart as a first stage, I'm not sure what will happen after that. She wants to see if she will 'miss' me, which doesn't sound a realistic way of thinking about this. I still love her so much - she is all I want - but I feel in despair; this latter stage has come on very fast and I'm still a bit in shock. I can see now that this has been building up for a while in her and I have been a bit blind to it. I felt that talking honestly and counselling would help us through, what I have not realised is how far gone she is and she has been very reticent to being open and honest for fear of hurting me (her words). I am trying very hard to give her space and time, and not to pressure her, but I worry that it has already gone too far in her head and that we are heading for separation and divorce. The effect of this on us both, our kids and family fills me with dread. I've read every bit of advice going but am not really sure what to do next - I have every emotion going round in my head and find it very hard to think rationally.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

You've been blind to it because she hides it. Why are you giving her space? She cheated on you! 

Don't give her time, it just delays the inevitable. She is on a precipice, choose to work on the marriage or not. Working it out means she has a lot to do to repair the trust she broke. How can you possibly give her the intimacy she craves while she is hiding herself from you and pursuing other relationships?

If she can't be honest in counseling, she is still hiding details. You can't help mend what you don't know. Put it into her hands. She fesses up or gets out. She may leave, it's a chance you take. But better to rip the bandaid off then let the wound fester. Been there and have the scars to prove it.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

How old are your kids?

only married for 13 years, could be very young.

I know you are hurting, but I do worry about the kids. Does your wife care about your kids and what this will do to them?


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

She lied about the affair. They went all the way and no doubt took it underground. She wants a separation in order to meet each other and not worry about a nosey spouse.

Ask her to take a lie detector test or file for divorce.

This is very common here. There is no excuse for cheating. She is just blame shifting.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Is she transparent with all her media devices?

She left the kids with you?


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Prepare for battle, and here is your plan;

Nearly all emotional affairs that end up meeting up multiple times involves more than kissing, prepare yourself for this fact and unless you have solid and definitive proof she will not admit it, so pursue for evidence but not a confession or admission.

I love you but I am not IN love with you is a classic delivery for finding someone and trying to break it to you easily, tolerate this for what it is.

The space to miss you is for one purpose only, to be with the other guy freely without interruption or consequence. Distance does not make the heart grow fonder, at least for you anyway.

Prepare for Gaslighting and marital rewriting, combat your heart with your guts intuition.

Review any, every and all private mediums she may have such as phone records, E-mails, text's, whatever, dig! Check receipts, check her whereabouts, check her clothes, the bank accounts, go on the hunt.

Segregate any and all financial funds. Document everything, prepare yourself by keeping all materials of merit away from her ability to find it. 

Prepare yourself for the inevitable clash between what you know you feel by your love for this woman, one will win out and it is not the one that should in most cases. Believe non of what you hear and half of what you see.

Prepare to be diligent in your findings, in other words do not let her dissuade you with statements of paranoia, jealousy or whatever else she WILL use to derail your assertive push towards the truth.

An individual names Weightlifter has an evidence gathering post, utilize it for it's wisdom. If you find sufficient evidence prior to confronting, keep it and do not detail how you found out, but what you did find. She will not relent to the truth easily and will hide it better if you tell her the avenue's you used to get the information, this is known as going underground.

And if all else fails prepare for the inevitable divorce by being the first one to file. These people will tell you that trying to nice her out of it will not work, and they are beyond correct. Embrace this as it will either pull her out of her affair or hasten the otherwise inevitable split and thus giving you the upper hand since no arrangements can be preceded by her in advance. 

Also, an effective tool once evidence is found out is exposure, to everyone you can think of. This may seem dirty or according to her disrespectful but she once told everybody she was getting married, why should you tolerate the stress of a lie and this will also prevent you from being vilified or blamed for other negative marital or lawful misgivings. 

There's your battle plan, take the fight to the enemy.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Joker gave good advice. Follow it.

On the road to separation - what to do? *Press the accelerator to the floor* and file for divorce ASAP. That will be her wakeup call to decide what she wants. You can decide later whether to follow through or not, but it gives you a measure of control where now you have little.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Sounds like she's only interested in herself, the classic cheater mindset. She doesn't really know what she wants or how she feels, just the she "needs" something all the time. She's not going to be happy with any of it, of course, because she's too self-centered. Nothing will ever be enough.

Space/separation is just more opportunity for her to feed that ego and tramp around.


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## equerry36 (Oct 7, 2014)

harrybrown said:


> How old are your kids?
> 
> only married for 13 years, could be very young.
> 
> I know you are hurting, but I do worry about the kids. Does your wife care about your kids and what this will do to them?


Kids are between 5 and 12. Yeah she cares about them, we both do, and what has probably prevented this happening earlier is the effect on them.


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## equerry36 (Oct 7, 2014)

Chaparral said:


> Is she transparent with all her media devices?
> 
> She left the kids with you?


Transparent with media devices? Are you kidding? Media devices have been a curse on us. All this stuff has been driven through facebook. The only thing I've got going here is that I know a hell of a lot more about these devices than she does, so finding out what's going on isn't too hard once I suspect something. 

And yes she left the kids with me, but that's by agreement. I may sound like the victim here, but one thing I'm sure of is that if we separate, she leaves. We will be as one in protecting our children, but I am not leaving my home.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

what do you know about the other man?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

Document how much she sees the kids, that will help in the upcoming custody battle.

BTW, her moving out means this isn't EA anymore, it is full on PA. There is a very high chance that her statement about seeing if she is missing you means do I thinik about you while fooling around with the OM.


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## equerry36 (Oct 7, 2014)

clipclop2 said:


> what do you know about the other man?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not a lot. Lives in same city, they have mutual friends. That's it. not sure I want to know much more....


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

equerry36, you need to know that an admission of "kissing" means they had sex. I'm sorry, but that's almost an ironclad rule when it comes to cheating.

Now that you know that, you know not to believe anything she says. She says she doesn't see the guy she was "kissing" anymore, right? That's what she says. But now you know that's most likely false. She's still with him, or if not him, there's someone else. That's why she wants to separate. Wanting to separate means wanting to fook.

This isn't about your failure as a husband to open up, be there emotionally for her, it's about her meeting a guy and getting the "in-love" feelings (actually pleasure-inducing chemicals acting on her brain) and trying to justify what she's doing by painting you as the bad husband. 

Now there's poor you, beating yourself up over all the things you did wrong, thinking that you're the cause of your wife wanting to leave. Stop blaming yourself. You're only responsible for 50 percent of the marriage. The cheating is 100 percent on her. In other words, it's not you, it's her.

Very quietly, like a secret agent, gather all the evidence. The texts, emails, phone records. Even install the VAR. Get the stellar advice from the poster "weightlifter." He's the best.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

affair + "I want space/a trial separation"= ability to try out the affair relationship while keeping you on the back burner in case it doesn't work out


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

equerry36 said:


> Not a lot. Lives in same city, they have mutual friends. That's it. not sure I want to know much more....


Yeah, you don't want to know, because it's going to be earthshattering when you find out how deep this affair is.

But that's the wrong mindset. Right now, set out to find out what's going on. Don't confront her yet just gather evidence. Quietly. Keep posting here and listen to the advice here. The posters here have much more experience than you do. 

The only way to save your marriage (if you even want to after finding evidence) is to follow advice here. You have no chance if you wing it by yourself.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

You are being given very good advice here.

You need to accept the following:


This is not to do with you or your failings - this is to do with her wanting to sleep with another man and lust. She will use whatever she can to justify it.

She has already slept with him but finds having to come home to you and dodge around you an inconvenience - hence the need for space - so that she can be with him freely.

Do not believe anything she tells you now - she is a liar and a cheat. E.g. if she tells you OM is not married or is divorced or is divorcing, verify this for yourself.

Start thinking in terms of this may not be her first gig. Hence you may want to DNA test your kids.

Get tested for STDs too.

You are wrong about not wanting to know more about him - on the contrary - you need to find out as much about him as possible - who he is, is he married, where he works, who his friends and family are. You will need all this to bust up the affair and make sure that you do not get painted as the bad guy too.

You need to start gathering evidence and securing it offsite and where it cannot be deleted. Weightlifter's thread on this is invaluable. Remember to never (NEVER) reveal your sources (even if you make up or reconcile).

You need to start securing your finances and protecting yourself and custody to your kids.

If she decides to drop you, she may become a maniac and start accusing you of all kinds of weird and wonderful things so always carry a voice recorder on you when communicating with her.

Lawyer up asap and know what your rights are.

Never leave your house - she cheated, she goes.

Prepare your exposure plan (to friends, family and if necessary, at their work, if they work together or if they are supported at work) and execute it.

Prepare your list of demands/needs including NC letter, transparency etc etc if you are to even consider talking with her about this.

Also know and communicate (at the right time) what your deal breakers are - e.g. if PA is a deal breaker, then you can save yourself a lot of discussion and heartache by going straight to divorce. If you state a deal breaker, then stand by it and don't go back on your word - this will send the wrong message to her (that she is free to cheat without consequences) and will also make you look weak.

File for divorce asap - you can always revoke it later.

Personally, I would tend to not want a cheater back especially if she does not show real remorse (in actions not just words) and takes the initiative (heavy lifting) to put things right and convince you that she is sincere.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Sorry, but there's just no way that they met up several times and "just kissed". Get real, man... they're not teenagers, they're adults. Plus he lives in the same city, which makes it all the easier for them to carry on their relationship.

Also, "I love you but I'm not in love w/ you", combined w/ a request for "space" essentially translates to "I want to test drive this guy a bit more in order to see if he and I can somehow build a relationship based off of illicit affair sex. If not, I'll come back to you. Well... if I can't find yet another guy, that is."

So... questions...

1) Is OM married?

2) What kind of phone does your wife use?


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

Your wife could have told you “Look, if you don’t open up to me I’ll find someone that will.” Or she could have told you she wanted a divorce if your relationship didn’t improve. Instead she had an affair and now you’re trying to improve yourself to get her back. 



equerry36 said:


> And yes she left the kids with me, but that's by agreement.


You have given her space and are babysitting so she can see the OM guilt free. You’re separated after all. Did you both overtly agree there will be no sex with anyone else during this separation or did you only assume that? 

Right now she’s having a great time shopping. Which man does she want? It’s like the show “House Hunters.” One house is in the perfect location while the other has an attached garage. Women love shopping.

You need to make an overt agreement that there will be no sex. Make her say the words. Then shut up and do the following:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html


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## equerry36 (Oct 7, 2014)

manfromlamancha said:


> You are being given very good advice here.
> 
> You need to accept the following:
> 
> ...


Here's what I feel today (tomorrow may be different, it's like that...) One thing I have started to learn from all the reading and absorbing I've been doing over the last few weeks - no-one is responsible for the way I feel but me and no-one has the right to make me feel the way she has, whatever the route we got here. This is the only way out of this black hole for me. If that's on my own well then maybe so be it but it will be with some self respect. I plan to remain vigilant and if she wants to cheat I'll find out and she'll be the loser. I confidently predict that when the fantasy bubble bursts it will be her who wants to come back - when she realises that the warm fuzzy feeling of a new relationship doesn't last. Whether I will be there is entirely another matter. 

But, hey, I do really appreciate all the advice everyone is giving. Seems like there is a lot of this going around......


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

equerry36 said:


> Here's what I feel today (tomorrow may be different, it's like that...) One thing I have started to learn from all the reading and absorbing I've been doing over the last few weeks - no-one is responsible for the way I feel but me and no-one has the right to make me feel the way she has, whatever the route we got here. This is the only way out of this black hole for me. If that's on my own well then maybe so be it but it will be with some self respect. I plan to remain vigilant and if she wants to cheat I'll find out and she'll be the loser. *I confidently predict that when the fantasy bubble bursts it will be her who wants to come back *- when she realises that the warm fuzzy feeling of a new relationship doesn't last. Whether I will be there is entirely another matter.
> 
> But, hey, I do really appreciate all the advice everyone is giving. Seems like there is a lot of this going around......


Okay, that's good, you're starting to get it. About that fantasy bubble bursting: You're going to have to do some work to get it to burst sooner rather than later. That means getting started on the evidence-gathering, like finding out if the OM is married. Exposing the affair to his wife will go a long way towards bursting that bubble when he throws your wife under the bus to scramble to save his own marriage.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Accepting a separation on her terms is simply a huge mistake. She's an adulteress. It couldn't be more obvious that she wants the separation to continue cheating. If you agree to that, you're agreeing to be her plan B option. Why would any self respecting spouse accept that?

Stop blaming yourself and find your anger. Start acting decisively. If she leaves, don't try to stop her, don't beg, don't plead. Don't "threaten" her with divorce if she does. Just start the process and she'll find out when she's served.

And while your at it; get off your butt and find out the details on the POSOM and expose him to his wife or SO. Do it yesterday.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Cubby said:


> Okay, that's good, you're starting to get it. About that fantasy bubble bursting: You're going to have to do some work to get it to burst sooner rather than later. That means getting started on the evidence-gathering, like finding out if the OM is married. Exposing the affair to his wife will go a long way towards bursting that bubble when he throws your wife under the bus to scramble to save his own marriage.


:iagree:
We understand you love your kids but taking control of the home and kids by yourself allows free unencumbered good times for your W and OM. You need to make the affair a pain in the A for both of them. She needs to attend the children. She needs to address the bills with you. Washing her hands of what she helped create does not allow the bubble to burst.


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

equerry36 said:


> I confidently predict that when the fantasy bubble bursts it will be her who wants to come back - when she realises that the warm fuzzy feeling of a new relationship doesn't last. Whether I will be there is entirely another matter.


No matter how much circumstantial evidence you collect your wife will swear on the lives of your children that she never had sex and take it to her grave. Even if this is an exit affair she will want to leave with her reputation intact. Therefore she will still be motivated to lie about the sex. In this scenario she will start openly dating the OM after you’ve divorced and fall in love.

If you find absolute proof she will say it was only when you were separated so it was OK. 

Don't give her that out. Make it clear. No kissing etc. for both of you. At least make her feel a little guiltier when she’s with the OM.

If you check your kids DNA you’re not testing them, you’re testing your wife. You can buy a kit at WalMart, Amazon or almost any drug store for about $30. You swab the inside of your cheek and the kids with a Q-tip and mail it to a lab with $130 more.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

equerry36 said:


> Here's what I feel today (tomorrow may be different, it's like that...) One thing I have started to learn from all the reading and absorbing I've been doing over the last few weeks - no-one is responsible for the way I feel but me and no-one has the right to make me feel the way she has, whatever the route we got here. This is the only way out of this black hole for me. If that's on my own well then maybe so be it but it will be with some self respect. I plan to remain vigilant and if she wants to cheat I'll find out and she'll be the loser. I confidently predict that when the fantasy bubble bursts it will be her who wants to come back - when she realises that the warm fuzzy feeling of a new relationship doesn't last. Whether I will be there is entirely another matter.
> 
> But, hey, I do really appreciate all the advice everyone is giving. Seems like there is a lot of this going around......


If you wish to see the ghost of infidelity's future click the back button and read Dadof2's post about his wife's separation for space, and what it really was for. In his case the unimaginable happened as he was hit with a restraining order so she could facilitate her affair without interruption or immediate consequence. This is how far people will go to get what they want, no regard will be taken into children or what the betrayed will endure so long as the wayward is able to obtain that which they desire. 

If you hesitate you may, or worse, will, face these same challenges. A good defense is a hard pressed offense. This course of action will benefit you tremendously, even the introduction of divorce, since this may be the end result anyway at the very least you can take the preemptive and publicize her affair FIRST and thus the counter-claims will have little to no impact on you since it will be accepted that her claims are nothing more than empty rhetoric to attack your character to justify her actions. And if she relents you win back your wife and have the choice, A.K.A. the relationship power, to decide on moving forward or on with her.

But first you must accept this, redundancy will get you nowhere. Right now, she is not a good parent, or person, or wife. She, as well as anyone, does not deserve happiness at someone else's expense. Muster whatever self respect you can reclaim and go and kick some a55!!!!!


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

IIJokerII said:


> If you wish to see the ghost of infidelity's future click the back button and read Dadof2's post about his wife's separation for space, and what it really was for. In his case the unimaginable happened as he was hit with a restraining order so she could facilitate her affair without interruption or immediate consequence. This is how far people will go to get what they want, no regard will be taken into children or what the betrayed will endure so long as the wayward is able to obtain that which they desire.
> 
> If you hesitate you may, or worse, will, face these same challenges. A good defense is a hard pressed offense. This course of action will benefit you tremendously, even the introduction of divorce, since this may be the end result anyway at the very least you can take the preemptive and publicize her affair FIRST and thus the counter-claims will have little to no impact on you since it will be accepted that her claims are nothing more than empty rhetoric to attack your character to justify her actions. And if she relents you win back your wife and have the choice, A.K.A. the relationship power, to decide on moving forward or on with her.
> 
> But first you must accept this, redundancy will get you nowhere. Right now, she is not a good parent, or person, or wife. She, as well as anyone, does not deserve happiness at someone else's expense. Muster whatever self respect you can reclaim and go and kick some a55!!!!!


:iagree::iagree:
At this point you have to be willing to end the marriage in order to save it.
Filing for divorce may be the only thing to wake her up.


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

Separation will invariably lead to divorce. You know that she is lying but this fact will hit you like a hammer only when you try to put the pieces together. 
Two things to do-
1. Find the OM, make his life miserable via legal means. Expose to his wife and family, put him on cheaterville - he'll get away from your wife before you can say 'bye'. 
2. Expose the affair to your and her family and friends. It'll stop the lies she's spreading about you. 
3. File for divorce. Remember this is her 2nd affair. A divorce takes time to finalize. Till then if she can come clean and recommit, great. If not let the divorce follow through. 

Whatever you decide to do, don't stay in limbo. It's never easy to take a decision but not taking a decision now would lead to further problems for you later on. 

It's physical now, more like she's planning an exit. That's why she asked for separation. She doesn't need you other than as a backup. You don't need her either. You married her because you trusted her. Do you trust her now?


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

equerry36 said:


> Not a lot. Lives in same city, they have mutual friends. That's it. not sure I want to know much more....


You don't have a choice. Ever heard of that saying "know thine enemy"?

Attraction + close proximity + time = affair consummation

Wanting space = you not interfering with her bumping uglies with the other guy.

She's farther along the cheating trajectory than you realize.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Do you have a deal breaker ? 

Some women/men are emotional blackholes. You cannot ive them enough attention and also earn a living. He reasons about the affair are just that. Ways for her to make sense of her affair and put the blame on you. It is easier if she can blame you than actually admit that she is a ****ty person,


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Find out about the new guy. It is not as if you ignore him, he ceases to exist. Accept your new reality.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

step one in most cases of infidelity regradless of R or D- destroy the affair


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

have a plan. This is Chess not Checkers.

Once you gather adequate evidence, expose the affair to OM Wife/GF and his family if you can. At his work with HR dept. To your W and Your family too. 

Follow the excellent help provided in this thread.

Read Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 by Athol Kay. This will explain much about you and this situation. get it from Amazon like yesterday. 

You have much work to do. File for D right away. You can always cancel it as you need. D will put you back in power. You and only you decide if you R or D. She lost that vote the moment she stepped out of your marriage. If you R, you have the right to move to D at any time for any reason. That means now or 5 years from now.

They did have sex, they likely still remain in touch. Hug = Oral, Kiss = full on sex... Cheaters lie and minimize. Please understand this. She will lie.

Never reveal your source of information. ever. If anything, say you have a PI on her or not even that.

This is chess not checkers.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Since you aren't going to put up with her if she cheats how do you know she isn't?

How are you verifying they aren't dating each other? How long has she been gone?

Is she seeing the kids every day, calling them at bedtime?


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

Double post. Sorry


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## dadof2 (May 9, 2014)

Speaking as a guy who heard the exact same lines 6 months ago- go ahead and file for divorce against her. You can always stop it if she wakes up. Don't try to show her you've changed or try to tell her about all of your good qualities. I know from experience, even if you don't believe it- I know I didn't- but make her see that you want her GONE. It will have an amazing effect if you want to save your marriage.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

dadof2 said:


> Speaking as a guy who heard the exact same lines 6 months ago- go ahead and file for divorce against her. You can always stop it if she wakes up. Don't try to show her you've changed or try to tell her about all of your good qualities. I know from experience, even if you don't believe it- I know I didn't- but make her see that you want her GONE. It will have an amazing effect if you want to save your marriage.


Exactomothereffingmundo!!! Whatever good qualities you had or believed you had made no difference in the end anyway when the time for her came to make a decision. Your best interests were discarded for her selfishness, now you will be the one holding the check. 

Q tip is accurate to a tee about the chess dynamic, especially if your a man, when it comes to combating this type of behavior. Prepare, Plan, position and strike, hard, NOW!!! Well, um, when your ready!!

Anywho it seems you have accepted her actions, now do what the collective suggestion, singular, not plural, suggests when your are undoubtedly sure..............


File for Divorce!!!!


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Almostrecovered said:


> affair + "I want space/a trial separation"= ability to try out the affair relationship while keeping you on the back burner in case it doesn't work out


Space = Full On physical rodeo.
Yep, she wants the freedom from YOU to taste that OM without interruption for as long as she can.

That should be enough for any man to pull the plug and start D. That will also wake her the F up. Do the 180.

Head to the local gym and work out. Heavy weights. 3 or 4 times a week. Improve You. Dont sulk. Take positive action. Move forward.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

She is feeding you tales. She wants space in order tocarry on her affair.

Snap her out fo it. Go see a lawyer seperate any joint finances now, including any credit cards she might have access to in your name and file for divorce.

Tell her there is no trial seperation, either she accepts Reconciliation if thats what you want and moves back in immediately or you blow the whole deal up sky high, sale of house, custody battle etc.


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## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

Looks like the OP is gone. I wish him luck.....


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