# Really need advice and help



## lottie82 (Mar 18, 2012)

My husband had an affair before christmas last year. We had been married for 2 years and had always been happy. It was really difficult and heartbreaking but I decided to give the marriage a go as I loved him and we were husband and wife and felt that it was the right thing to do.
Last week, after 3 months of trying to make it work he tells me that he has changed, that he loves me but not in the way that I deserved to be loved and that he doesn't think we are right for each other any more. He left and he doesn't want to try and make things work.
I feel so totally broken and devastated and just don't know how I am going to cope. I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together and I feel in complete shock that he could have done this to me.
How am I going to get through this? How do people cope?
Please give me some advice. I feel so awful and juts don't know what to do.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

The absolute first thing you are going to do is stay on the forum and read about all of us that are going through the same thing and read about all of those that have survived the same thing.

You're should tell us your whole story and all the facts and you will be amazed at how people here understand exactly! Read, read, read. The beginning is the worst pain ever. It is like nothing I have ever felt. Worse that physical pain. 

I strongly suggest going to a Dr. for bandaid medication if you are OK with that sort of thing. It got me through some very rough times.

Also find a therapist. Immediately. If you don't click with that therapist, find another one. 

Surround yourself with anyone you can. Find supportive people who will love you and be there for you. Don't worry about "being strong" and all that nonsense if it is not your personality. This takes a very long time for some. Others can just snap right out of it but most of the folks I see on here are not that type of person.

People on this forum will be here for you like you wouldn't believe. 

Oh, and get familiar with all the acronyms : )


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

there's a lot of us here in the same boat - this forum has really helped me. I'm in a similar situation although married for 10 years (this Friday in fact, won't that be a fun day) and my H is not interested in trying to work on it

I've cried every day - sometimes just a few tears, sometimes gut-wrenching sobs. It's impossible to control so don't even try it - speak to your family and friends, let them support you. My 15 year old daughter has been an absolute rock but it doesn't take away the pain

you're grieving for a loss - you need to allow yourself to do that


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## yellowsubmarine (Feb 3, 2012)

It sucks to be rejected. But these forums are great support groups. They are helping me as well. I thought I was "alone." Nonsense!

I'm going to a counselor, and take any and every little bit of help I can. I'm proud and hate appearing weak, but I've swallowed my pride and sought help.

Different people have different opinions, and can help you see things you didn't. Find people that are objective and will tell you the truth; it's difficult to do it from within and full of emotions.


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