# It Has To Be Said!!...



## steelcurtain (Aug 25, 2007)

~ I am relatively new to this forum and I am in disgust about most of the topics I have read thus far. What is up with most of the men choosing cybersex/cyberchat/porn over their wives? What is it about "cyber" that these men get a thrill out of to where they lose all control? I consider myself a very sexual person and to be honest I'd rather have the real deal than watching it on some freaking screen, but from what I have read these men choose this over their spouse :scratchhead: Why do men prefer "cyber" over their spouse? Im just curious!!! 

~ This is for the women who are confused about numberous attempts to fix their husbands imature ways. Ladies yes it is CHEATING if your mate seeks the attention of another female companion in a sexual nature whether it be phone sex, cyber sex, flirtatious chatting....whatever it is, it's a form of CHEATING!!!! Why put yourself through the emotional rollercoster, he (sometimes she) obviously doesnt give a damn what you think or how hurt you may feel not to mention it is immoral. I guess when is enough! enough! 

~ I know that there are no perfect men out there but my lord their are still some decent men that have a clue of how to treat a women. Ive only been married a short period of time but if it is 2yrs or 20yrs I would feel pretty ****ty if I put my wife though some of the stuff I have read thus far. Anyways that is my vent. Maybe I just dont understand.


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## babyblues7 (Aug 28, 2007)

Thank you sooooo much for posting that! I totally agree with your sentiments, its obviously mind boggling to think that your husband/wife thinks more of their fantasy world then they do of you. Thank you...it's good to know that there are men out there that still care, god bless you!!! :smthumbup:


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## mamab (Jun 29, 2007)

Steelcurtain, I applaud you for your stance. I hope that you are able to keep that stance over the years, and feel pretty sure that you will succeed. Best of luck as you take the high road. Your wife is a lucky woman.


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## Chris H. (Jan 27, 2007)

:smthumbup: I agree.


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## SageMother (Jun 28, 2007)

Whether an activity is cheating or not is up to the couple to decide, not anyone else. IF there is something that fall into that category for you then I am sure you will make it known to your partner that it will not be tolerated.

Please don't define it for everyone else in the world.


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## katharina (Jun 29, 2007)

steelcurtain said:


> ~ I am relatively new to this forum and I am in disgust about most of the topics I have read thus far.


Hear hear! Thank you for posting this. I've been stunned by the number of
problems that are showing up, too. I was hoping (and searching for!) some
posts about GOOD marriages in a marriage forum, too.  Sounds
as if you have a good one, and so do I, so it was great to see your post.


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## isha (Sep 1, 2007)

Hi , I am new here, and this not exactly related..........but I have my story to tell you and you need to advice me on what you think is best.............
I have known my husband now for 11 years and have been married for 4 years. We moved to United States right after marriage. He says he loves me dearly, but after knowing me now for 11 years there is nothing new. He wants to know what it feels like to date American Woman. He says he has no intentions of sleeping(sex) with anyone but just wants to go out there and have an adventure. He says that he has been feeling this way for sometime, and feels that he had to let me know about this and does not know what to do with these supressed feelings. He is only 31 years old as old as I am, and says the more he tries to supress these feelings the more they bother him. We have no kids at this time. I had initially said yes, and he made 3 girlfriends with whom he went out for cofee or dinner, but I cant seem to accept not being the only woman in his life. I told him to stop, and he did, but now it is not the same anymore. I told him I will move out and live in a studio and he can do his experiments and when this phase of his life is over, if I will be able to accept him, he can come back. If I will not be able to accept it I will not. He agreed and this November2007 we have planned to seperate. I am almost passing each day like hell. I feel a deep pity for myself and I know I will never be able to accept him backand I dont think I want him to feel at 50 years that I did not let him do something that he so desperately wanted to. Please anyone who has any experience in this regards advice me what to do. It is still 2 months left for November to come.
Sincerely,................Isha


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## steelcurtain (Aug 25, 2007)

What an idiot! I want to know what it is like to date an American Woman!! Well at least he is honest and very bold about it, but honestly the nerve to be so blunt. Isha why wait until November if he wants to go then let him go NOW! the quicker he leaves the quicker you can get on with your life and find a person that will respect you and your feelings. I wish I had the right words to say to encourage you during this time of pain, but you dont have to put yourself through this, you should never have to feel like second choice or (i'm just killing time until something better rolls along). I think one big mistake was when you let him go out for coffee with other females of course it is going to change the relationship because he wants more! I know you can hardly sleep right now just thinking about it. End it now and move on with your life dont prolong the pain......

Here's an idea.. say to him, " Your right! let me get an apartment now, because I too want to know what it is like to date an American!!" :smthumbup: That will totally piss him off and I bet you he will get defensive I guarantee it!!!! It will eat him up inside an to be honest he deserves it!!! Good luck and never be a crutch to a man you dont need to!


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## katharina (Jun 29, 2007)

isha said:


> He says he has no intentions of sleeping(sex) with anyone


I don't understand why you'd believe this. Having coffee
and a grease burger isn't exactly an "adventure" after all.



> I had initially said yes, and he made 3 girlfriends with whom he went out for cofee or dinner, but I cant seem to accept not being the only woman in his


I'm sorry, I don't understand this part either. It doesn't
sound real or genuine to me.


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## lovelyl (Sep 11, 2007)

I'm not going to judge you for the decision you made on letting him go out on a date, but what I can tell you is that he is being pretty honest with asking you to date other people. It almost makes you wonder about how he feels for you being that he even asked you that. I agree, if you're able to move now, do it now. Waiting would only prolong the pain. You deserve better.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

steelcurtain~ Everyone has a difference of opinion on what is or isn't cheating. Personally the only cybering I have done ever is with my wife. But I will boil it down to this if you can openly do it in front of your s/o then it is okay.

Some couples use porn and or cybering to add to their relationship. It is a choice that every couple must make together.

My wife and I have been happily married 9 years. I ended my first marriage because of her cheating on me. My wife and I raise four kids (all mine). 

Strict guides only work when they fit your view. How about someone saying ALL free time should be spent with the family, no morning jogs, no hanging with friends etc. Just work and family? Everyone has a difference of what is okay, and what isn't.

draconis


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Isha~If he wants to go tell him there is the door but don't expect me to be there when you come back. You need to live your life and not waiting on him. I object to people cheating period. It sounds like he is going down that path, I wish you the best of luck and hope you keep us informed.

draconis


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## kajira (Oct 4, 2007)

You are a rare bread!


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

kajira said:


> You are a rare bread!


Is that to me?:scratchhead:

draconis


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