# How would you explain this?



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Frick...I saw a strange number on H's cell phone records, it was an US number..so I called it and hung up when a guy answered it. OUt of curiousity I happened to check our phone messages and his buddy phoned and left a message for H saying yeah..I am just curious I noticed your wife called me...OMG! H did hear that message and I have not heard anything from him yet. 

How do I explain this????

H knows that I have since his EA checked his text and phone records but I am embarrassed to be caught red handed.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I thought you were moving toward divorce??

Tell your husband the truth - you were checking up on him. After what he did he should expect it.

Last month my husbands cell bill had charges for 85 international text messages on it. You can bet your ass I called the cell company to find out what was up. Turned out to be nothing my husband did but I had zero qualms about telling him what I found out and why I was looking.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I wonder what H will say to him..he will probably be ticked off at me for having to make up some excuse to his buddy as to why I am calling.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

highwood said:


> I wonder what H will say to him..he will probably be ticked off at me for having to make up some excuse to his buddy as to why I am calling.


That's HIS problem, and if he gets mad at you, that's just more reason that you should be questioning this R you are supposedly in.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I am Hope..I went to a lawyer two weeks and am following what the lawyer is advising me. I am just embarrassed to be caught doing it. Why this guy would phone back my number?? Frick if someone calls you and hangs up just leave it alone for frick sake.

I was just curious why a US number would be texting H.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

YOu are right and H has to realize that prior to his EA this never happened I never even looked at phone and text records and since then complete opposite.

I just hate being caught red handed doing it and I hate that I have to even do **** like this still.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Well I noticed as well that as it is international texting..there is a fee where normally there would not be that's all.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

highwood said:


> Well I noticed as well that as it is international texting..there is a fee where normally there would not be that's all.


This is exactly what I noticed. And like I said, I had NO qualms about finding out what was up. NONE. The fact that you do, and that you're scared of his reaction, speaks volumes.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I am not scared of his reaction more embarrassed that I was caught and this guy is one of his good buddies as well so he is probably wondering why I would be calling him. Plus the fact that I just hung up without saying anything...I think people find that annoying..I should have just said sorry wrong number. 

How would you have handled it HOPe..would you have called just to see who answered and then hung up or would you have said sorry wrong number. **** if I had said that he probably would not have called the number back and discovered it was me..it was called from my work number.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I have called numbers from his phone, a couple years ago was the last time. I used the *69 I think it is to block my number first, then when they answered I hung up because I could tell who it was.

This good buddy of his should maybe be told what your husband did so that he will understand why you called. If I was in the situation you're in now, and hubby found out that I had called a number from his phone, he might be upset, but I would also tell him that it was up to HIM to talk to his buddy if he felt his buddy needed an explanation, and that my recommendation would be to come clean to his buddy about what he did exactly. But I intend to continue with R, not D, and my hubby seems to be behaving better than yours about the whole thing. If I was headed for D I probably wouldn't give two sh!ts what hubby thought or did.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Yeah..I have no clue whether or not he let his friend know all the **** that happened. I am pretty sure his buddy knows we were having problems to what extent he has told him not sure.

It will be interesting if H asks me about it as I know he knows I do check those numbers he might just make some excuse to his friend and say nothing to me. H is out of town working so I will hear from him either today or tonight.

**** I should have used the *69 did not think about that at all...oh well too late now.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I noticed in his message to H that he told him that he did not answer but he did I just hung up at that point.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

How did he knows it was your number?


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Call display so when I hung up he was probably curious and then called the number back to see.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

H just called me of course...he thought I had left some kind of message for him..I said are you kidding me I just phoned to see what this number was as it was an international long distance one. I said I left no message I just hung up. Partly because we are being charged for it.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

How do I block Caller ID for a specific call?

You have the option to block Caller ID either temporarily or permanently.

To block your number from being displayed temporarily for a specific call: 

1.Enter *67
2.Enter the number you wish to call (including area code). 
3.Tap the Call button. The words "Private," "Anonymous," or some other indicators will appear on the recipient’s phone instead of your mobile number.

I would try it with a friend first, just to be sure


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> How do I block Caller ID for a specific call?
> 
> You have the option to block Caller ID either temporarily or permanently.
> 
> ...


Bookmarking this for sure


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Honestly, it sounds like his buddy was giving your husband a warning that his wife was checking up on him. Sort of a "Hey, dude, careful! The wife's trying to catch you again." Is this guy someone who feeds your husband's toxic thinking and behavior? 

I'm not saying you should care, because Hope's not wrong. That's just my read on it.


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Right but how did he knows the call number belonged to you? You have called him before?


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

No I have not called him before. When he dialed the number back it went to my voice mail in which I state my name, etc.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I was thinking at lunch that I am done with checking. Seriously he knows I check his phone so him actually doing something on the phone would never happen. Plus it kind of gives me less power..if that makes sense.

I have been checking for close to three years now and nothing has ever come up so why do I keep doing this?


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I told my sister about it this morning more as a LOL kind of thing and once again my sister sure does not like talking about it as all I got back was a yes that is embarrasing. I know exactly what she is thinking...that I should get over it, why are you still checking, your H is a nice guy, etc. etc.

I think she thinks that it is too negative for me to be talking about...and that when I do I am wallowing in negativity.

Sigh..I wish I had not said anything to her about it, whether it be by email or phone I always get the one word response back. I barely got a response back...funny thing is when she gripes about her marriage I always respond and empathize but I guess in my case because it happened over two years ago I should not even be thinking or talking about it anymore.

I get the feeling she wants me to stay married and worries that my checking, etc. will drive my husband away.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

This is why I love this board...I think here people get it why even years after you still do things such as checking, you still want to talk about it, etc. I think for those on the outside so to speak, they think get over it already.


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