# Are polygraphs worth it?



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I keep having those mind movies in my head wondering wether my fiance really preferred her over me; when was the turning point; what was it; why did he choose to "tease" me about things that I consider serious....while now I can see she did similar things in which he chose not to villify her for.......and so on

I am going to therapy, I hope that works. He has said that he will come with me if I want to.

But I am wondering if a polygraph can answer / help to answer those questions that aren't yet fully satisfied.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Good question. The worth depends on how much you're willing to pay to have 3 questions answered with a yes or no.

Personally, I don't think it's worth the expense. Not saying I wouldn't make her call your bluff about one though...


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I think the biggest value in a polygraph is the reaction of the WS when asking to take one


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

My fiance has been offering to do it.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

You're not even married? If I'm engaged and I'm using the word polygraph I'm thinking I have bigger problems than getting answers to a few questions from a wayward.


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

If he is offering then I would say save your money. But the bigger issue is: Why in the hell would you want to marry or continue a relationship with someone you know cheated? Are there kids? How long have you guys been together?


----------



## Benevolence (Oct 8, 2012)

If you are a good liar a polygraph is worthless. 

Either you trust someone or you don't.. if not then move on.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

They are wrong about 25% of the time. Not worth it.


----------



## WhyDoIFeelThisWay (Sep 24, 2012)

I scheduled a polygraph test for my husband to take this Monday. I know some people say they are not reliable etc. But I have been married for 13 years and 11 of those years I have never felt like he has ever cheated on me. The last two years I have had a gut feeling, and even found circumstantial evidence to say yes he is, but I need something more before I can say that I am done. Mainly for my 2 kids. I have chosen someone that has been doing this for the past 30 years and feel confident that the results will be something that I can be confident in.


----------



## Martin12 (Apr 27, 2012)

I've seen a lot of recommendations to make the spouse take a poly, but nobody has ever talked about their spouse really taking a poly.

I can see how the "threat" of a poly could provoke a revealing response, but I wonder how a poly would actually go - you're giving a poly examiner a list of questions basically about sex.

So, has anyone actually either taken or had their spouse take a poly? How did it go?


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Martin12 said:


> I've seen a lot of recommendations to make the spouse take a poly, but nobody has ever talked about their spouse really taking a poly.
> 
> I can see how the "threat" of a poly could provoke a revealing response, but I wonder how a poly would actually go - you're giving a poly examiner a list of questions basically about sex.
> 
> So, has anyone actually either taken or had their spouse take a poly? How did it go?


A few have talked about it. Tover26's wife took one, but she is so over the top emotional that it wasn't conclusive, but in her case it wasn't about if she cheated , it was details about the way she cheated and what she did.


----------



## Martin12 (Apr 27, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> A few have talked about it. Tover26's wife took one, but she is so over the top emotional that it wasn't conclusive, but in her case it wasn't about if she cheated , it was details about the way she cheated and what she did.


The wife strapped to a chair being asked questions about what she did by a guy in a closed soundproofed room sounds like a plot to a porn movie.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Martin12 said:


> The wife strapped to a chair being asked questions about what she did by a guy in a closed soundproofed room sounds like a plot to a porn movie.


Maybe, If it wasn't so tragic that they have a couple of kids involved and the wife's choices where blowing the family apart.


----------



## BrokenHeartedBelle (Feb 14, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> I keep having those mind movies in my head wondering wether my fiance really preferred her over me; when was the turning point; what was it; why did he choose to "tease" me about things that I consider serious....while now I can see she did similar things in which he chose not to villify her for.......and so on
> 
> I am going to therapy, I hope that works. He has said that he will come with me if I want to.
> 
> But I am wondering if a polygraph can answer / help to answer those questions that aren't yet fully satisfied.


I've considered asking my fWH to take a polygraph as well. 

For awhile I felt that having all the answers would wipe the slate clean and we could truly try to rebuild from that point.

Now, I'm starting to move away from asking for a poly. I feel like if I have to go that far to be satisfied, maybe there is nothing to rebuild.


----------

