# Birth controll that does not kill drive



## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

My wifes drive is practically non-existant when she is on the pill. Granted with some work she can become aroused but, I always seem to be the initiator and she is often not in the mood. I have thick skin so the rejection factor is not an issue. 

I know that this has been the subject of other threads so it is an issue worth addressing. 

We tried an IUD and that caused problems. She has taken several types of BC pills and all kill her drive. Having another baby is not desirable now. (if you are catholic and don't believe in anything but the rythem method-note this is not a religous board-save your comments please) 

I have heard there can be issues with vasescomy (plus my wife is against it-go figure i offered). She doesn't like the feel of condoms. It reduces the sensation for me plus she likes the feeling of felling me come so condoms are less than ideal but, seem the most benign from a side effect standpoint. I am concerned that they may be less than effective too. There have been times when we have unprotected sex and I simply don't come in her but, i am not sure if that is entirely safe either. I have heard stories about women being impregnated with the small, pre-orgasm semen that can come out. I am not sure if there is a way i can controll that.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

good luck on that. birth control did two things for me.

the first one, made my psychotically happy (I am not that person) to the point where I couldn't stand me, and also killed my period 100%

the second one, murdered my sex drive. It also made me feel like a zombie, gave me sharp pains in my head, heart palpatations, shortness of breathe, in fact the only positive was not having to call into work once a month because standing makes me puke and pass out (I have severe girly part problems)

our big secret? 

Pull out.

I hate condoms, I hate kids, and I'm terrified to try any more birth controls.

I might be wrong(likely) but I'm pretty certain, that pre- is to clean things out for when the little swimmers come through, it doesn't actually have action from the prostate involved in it, which is what keeps the swimmies alive, and the pre-swimmers are dead.

I could be wrong and just be infertile and not know it, but Im pretty certain pre-cum = dead sperm, real cum = live ones.


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## hopelessly_devoted (Jun 23, 2010)

birth control did that to me as well. i was on ortho tri cyclen-lo & had no problem with my sex drive. it was when i switched to seasonique that i lost all sex drive, & had other horrible side effects. i just switched back to ortho on sunday to see if it will help. there are SO many different types of birth control out there, all that effect each woman differently. keep trying!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

tjohnson said:


> I have heard there can be issues with vasectomy (plus my wife is against it-go figure i offered)


Had one many years ago after our last child. No issues, no complications, no side effects. Just good ole sex, when ever we wanted it without condoms, spermicides, pills..... Highly recommend it.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

CLucas976 said:


> I might be wrong(likely) but I'm pretty certain, that pre- is to clean things out for when the little swimmers come through, it doesn't actually have action from the prostate involved in it, which is what keeps the swimmies alive, and the pre-swimmers are dead.
> 
> I could be wrong and just be infertile and not know it, but Im pretty certain pre-cum = dead sperm, real cum = live ones.


Not at all true.



tjohnson said:


> I have heard stories about women being impregnated with the small, pre-orgasm semen that can come out. I am not sure if there is a way i can controll that.


Nope, you can't control it.

Has she tried a diaphragm? Absolutely kills spontaneity but is effective birth control.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

Susan2010 said:


> Not at all true.
> 
> 
> .


ahahaha, maybe I am infertile after all 

weird however that ortho was fine for the above mentioned, Ortho tri cyclen was what caused me so many problems.

I still have a 6 month supply of it lying around too, I screwed it up on my honey moon and never looked back at it after the withdrawls.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Diaphragms ROCK - used one until I got a vasectomy. Zero side effects. 




Susan2010 said:


> Not at all true.
> 
> 
> Nope, you can't control it.
> ...


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## Anooniemouse (May 5, 2010)

If you can ever imagine a scenario where you might end up divorced and want a second family, or might want another kid with your wife -- don't get a vasectomy. 

Otherwise its a pretty simple procedure. They do most of them no-cut these days, and simply make an incision about the size of a ball point pin, then fish out the vas tubes, cut, tie, cauterize, done. You'll want about 6 days recovery time where you don't lift anything, and they definitely DO mean put that bag of ice on there the first day or two, but if you don't have a physical job no reason you would miss work if you had it done on a Friday, and had to come in Monday. I do recommend spending a bit more, and having some sperm collected, frozen, and stored for later use just in case. Things can happen, and they aren't always able to reverse these down the road if you situation were to change. 

I've had a few regrets about having mine done every now, and then. I never imagined I would be estranged from my oldest, and want to add on to a second family ... Its not a deal-breaker for us, but its something that is simply no longer in the cards. So if you have any doubts about wanting more, or that you might ever 'start over' so to speak, then ponder it a lot time before you do. 

The diaphragm works well as another good option.


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

Thanks for all your input.


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

hopelessly_devoted said:


> birth control did that to me as well. i was on ortho tri cyclen-lo & had no problem with my sex drive. it was when i switched to seasonique that i lost all sex drive, & had other horrible side effects. i just switched back to ortho on sunday to see if it will help. there are SO many different types of birth control out there, all that effect each woman differently. keep trying!


I was on the same pill and it made me happy too and my sex drive had even increased! 

tjohnson if your wife doesn't want to go on the pill anymore she can use spermicides even if you're going to pull out, just in case!


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## crazyhorselady (Jul 15, 2010)

Which IUD did she have - Paragard or Mirena? How long did she have it? What kinds of problems did she have?


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## BorrowedHalo (Jul 6, 2010)

crazyhorselady said:


> Which IUD did she have - Paragard or Mirena? How long did she have it? What kinds of problems did she have?


I don't know what the person above had, but I will say this--

MIRENA--RUN. Run away far and fast! Somewhere on my computer I have a whole list of things that went wrong with this. The thing is, they happen so slowly that you don't associate it with Mirena. I chalked it up to stress, moving, starting school, etc. etc. I had it for the full 5 years. Here is the site that opened my eyes. Apparently, many of us experienced the same thing and just didn't associate it.

Mirena and depression : Medications.com 

To make a long story short, I was so depressed that I would only get out of bed at 3:30pm because I didn't want my kids to know that I'd been in bed all day...yet still tired by 10:30pm. All I did was sleep. Thank God I didn't have a job, but my poor children! Additionally, I had joint pain, A LOT of weight gain, NO appetite. I would literally FORGET to eat. I'd be dinner time and I'd go, "Oh yeah, I haven't eaten today. Guess I should." Heart burn, anxiety, severe forgetfulness. Being 30-something and forgetting a long-time friend's name is freaky! I was always in a fog.

The weirdest part, though, is that there are so many women at that site who say, "I loved Mirena. I didn't realize that's what was causing all of this." When I had it removed I lost 50 pounds without really trying. 30 pounds in the first 3 months. The DAY AFTER I had it removed, I had to get out of bed at 9am because MY STOMACH GROWLED. It hadn't done that in years!


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## BorrowedHalo (Jul 6, 2010)

Oh and BTW, the doctors are just now starting to catch on. My doctors--both OB/GYN and General Prac. did not recognize the symptoms as Mirena problems. My Gen. Prac. (Now my FORMER) told me that I was overweight and if I lost weight these other things would clear up. But, as I said, I wasn't EATING. I figured it out by accident. I was supposed to have an endoscope to find out why I had constant heartburn. But, I got a cold so it had to be put off. Somehow, the Lord led me to see if heartburn was a side effect of Mirena and I found that site!


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## crazyhorselady (Jul 15, 2010)

*Re: Birth control that does not kill drive*



BorrowedHalo said:


> I don't know what the person above had, but I will say this--
> 
> MIRENA--RUN. Run away far and fast! Somewhere on my computer I have a whole list of things that went wrong with this. The thing is, they happen so slowly that you don't associate it with Mirena. I chalked it up to stress, moving, starting school, etc. etc. I had it for the full 5 years. Here is the site that opened my eyes. Apparently, many of us experienced the same thing and just didn't associate it.
> 
> ...


Slow down a minute. Not everyone will have these problems with Mirena. I had a patient yesterday who has had it for 4 years and loves it. She's had no weight gain (she's quite thin and an aerobics instructor) and she's had no trouble with depression. What works for one person will not work for another - that is why we have lots of options. Oral contraceptives give me migraines, but for some women they reduce their migraines. Some people break out in a rash if they take penicillin. Does that mean no one should ever take penicillin again? I don't think so.

Paragard is great for someone who has light periods and doesn't want any hormones. I had one for a couple of years and really liked it. I'll probably get another after we're done having kids. Women with heavy periods and lots of menstrual cramps will probably not like Paragard at all since those troubles will increase. For those women Mirena might be a better choice. Some women never gain weight from anything (I'm thinking of my college roommate who was 5' 7" and 100 pounds.) and are willing to take that risk with certain methods.

If you are very side effect prone, maybe you should check out the book, "Taking charge of your fertility".

I would just hate to have your bad experience stop someone from using Mirena who might do really well with it.


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