# Time Management Conflicts



## jesusyoubelifed (May 10, 2012)

I have been married 6 yrs. I love my husband very much. I would say we have a wonderful marriage and life. We truely bring out the best in each other and I am very lucky to have such a wonderful husband, he really is an amazing father and husband. But this is our problem.
I am a Director for a youth program and my job can be demanding at times. Sometimes I have to work events and late nights, but I also have a comfortable wage and am passionate about what I do. Additionally when I was 20 I started my own not for profit organization targeting at risk youth, I dedicate 2 nights a week after I get out of work to this effort.

My husband is super smart and is finishing his degree, but he is having a hard time finding a job in his field and hates his job.

Here is the problem. When ever I have to work late nights, or pretty much when ever I have to go to my not for profit he gets so annoyed. It usually leads to an arguement and its exhausting. He says I dedicate too much time to work and my not for profit, and he is very unsupporting. I would say I work roughly 45 hrs a week at my job and 6 hrs a week at my not for profit, which I personally dont think is outragous. But it is a constant arguement. He calles me a workaholic, and obsessed. It hurts my feelings because I love him and our marriage but I am also passionate about what I do.

It causes so much of a problem I am actually considering giving up my not for profit which would absolutely break my heart. Further more I would be letting down about 100 kids who rely on me. 
My marriage is the most important thing in my life, but I dont know how to get on the same page with my husband. He is making me feel like I have to choose. I dont know what to do. Advice?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Working 51 hours a week is a lot -- period. It's nothing that many spouses haven't dealt with before; heck, lawyers and others work 70+ hours a week. BUT. This is about your marriage. You are going to have to negotiate to find a balance that you can both live with. 

Seems to me that part of the problem isn't just that, hey, this is crunch time or tax season, I'll be working long hours for the next month but then we can go back to normal -- no, this IS your normal. I'd say you need to have quite a few talks.


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## jesusyoubelifed (May 10, 2012)

Even bigger then that I have tried on so many occasions to get him involved, he is going into the same field I am in! I would think he would understand the dedication required. But he pulls away, and frankly doesnt even try to be a part of it, even when I try to involve him in anyway I can. 
But how do I drop my not for profit? Maybe someone can actually walk me through that. I love it, but obviously I love my husband more then anything, but what happens to the kids when I give it up? Especially when I dont know anyone who can or is willing to take it over?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Have you tried partnering up with another local non-profit with similar goals? Honestly, J, a non-profit that is solely dependent on the efforts of one person is not likely to have a long future anyway, unless you are a multimillionaire. I admire you for caring so much about the kids -- there's got to be a way to ensure their services without damaging your marriage. Good luck and keep us posted!


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