# Ex and friend with Benefits



## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

So my ex and I still talk occasionally and the hypocrisy seems to go to another level everytime.

What do you call a relationship with a guy (or girl) who is just a friend you are sleeping with? Last I checked it was friends iwth benefits right?

My EW says what they have is "undefined" and they're "not definint it". Yet she says I have a girlfriend. At least I call my girlfriend my girlfriend LOL.

I just thought it was an interesting conversation. Hypocrisy......


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## SingleInTx (Jan 18, 2013)

Hypocrisy... and probably means the guy she's doing won't commit


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

My XW's daughter had friends with benefits. She talked with her mom about it in front of me. Red flag? Never saw it. Anyway, she seemed to feel that it was a safer way to have sex. She felt she could trust these young men. None of them wanted to get married. My former step daughter was not interested in having children and she couldn't seem to stay with one guy for very long unless there were other men involved. 

I saw her get horribly upset a few times. One time she told her mom about some guy who was in love with her. One of the first words out of her mouth was controlling. It seems if anyone wanted to get serious, she felt they were immediately controlling. I suspect she just didn't want to be tied down, the young man wanted a relationship and she didn't want to give up her lifestyle. Of course, he could have done something wrong. I don't know for sure. I do know he seemed to have feelings for her. 

There was a guy she really got along well with and she seemed to feel he wasn't right for her for some reason. He was a nice young man. I met him and personally approved of him. I don't think he was good enough for her. He was in the armed forces. Unfortunately, he was not an officer. I think that had something to do with it. He seemed to be a good caring young man and he obviously had a good career ahead of him. I respect those who are in the armed forces. I have family who served. 

My former step daughter would visit him when he was on leave. She liked the area where he was stationed. I don't blame her for liking the area. It just seemed somehow wrong to trade her affections for a stay at the beach. 

It is very difficult for me to understand this type of lifestyle. I feel as if it is dirty or something. I don't want to pass judgement. It is not my place. I am just expressing something which has been in my mind for quite a while. It seemed to me that the guy really loved her. He would have done anything for her and was a great friend. 

The other thing which I haven't figured out is why is it so secret? If you are happy to live that lifestyle, why not be open about it? I don't really understand at all. I guess it is like being in a relationship. You normally don't talk to others about your sex life. You only talk with your wife or husband or a counselor? I don't know. I guess I'm odd.


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