# Hurt but Thxful



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Today I went to process my name changed I pulled up to the parking garage and all of a sudden tears got myself together went in and took care of business. When I left I also was a little shaken up but I am better now.

For all of us who had the strength to want better and walk away be thankful for that. This is hard and I am not trying to sugar coat it but I was driving and I thanked God that he loved me enough give me the courage to do what I needed to do. You cannot make another person love you or be in a marriage when they have already checked out etc... Many people are in relationships and cannot/do not leave for various reasons..

This is an ongoing process of renewing and rebuilding our lives but at some point we will be able to look back on this time and be thankful we moved forward. This life changing event truly has hurt me. However, I am determined to continue to move forward and not let it define my future and my happiness. Someone else will treasure and value what others took for granted.

We all will be okay....

I will be offline for a few days so have a fab labor day weekend.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Amen Sista, I am with you 100%.


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

I agree 100% my wife left me the first of july I got the I love you but not in love with you speech couldnt never figure out who the OM was and still dont know but I can say I let her go no contact filed for the divorce to hell with it im not gonna look back what she dont want someone will. It hurts and I tried to be a good husband worked and with my schedule I brought home decent money and had alot of time off so on my days off I took care of the kids and cooked cleaned etc guess that made me a bad husband I have no clue but I also heard I was controlling and some other stuff but hey if wanting a respectful marriage is controlling then so bet. I Gave her my all my love was unconditional I never cheated on her and never had any affairs and this is how she repays me for what I gave her smdh


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## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Lostouthere

It takes too. No marriage or relationship is perfect and its like a bank you constantly have to make deposits into the relationship. The rational to what they do or (how they make it right in their mind) to coupe with things is remarkable to say the least. 

My ex txtd me today for a computer password then called asking did I know what happened to money in his account. I was like nope have not touched that account at all and then silence. He is so freakin lazy I told him months ago to get his own account so I could close that one. But the fact that he calls me like I did something (hello can we say manage your money if you swipe the card..hence money will come out).

I can walk away from my marriage knowing that I was a good wife, never did anything to disrespect him or myself. I worked multiple jobs throughout our marriage to hold up the financial part when things were rough on his end with no complaints etc.. 

So I figure like this, if they constantly need someone to validate them for whatever reason...then something is missing with them (not us). No one can live up to those expectations so perhaps they are constantly in search for something they think another person can provide for them because its exciting now .....

This is gonna be the best thing I left in the past. Not worth fighting a losing battle with a spouse that is not in it to win it!!


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

I agree d1221 It does take 2. I know I made mistakes dont get me wrong I dont feel as if they was big I mean I never called her out of her name, never abused or or anything like that. Ill have to post my situation one day soon. I tried but I also know when to bow out. Its smply not worth trying to hold something that dont want to be held. It was [email protected] on me for a little while but it gets better I still find myself thinking about her because she was a good wife I just dont understand how we took this turn but oh well I remained true the entire time. I think she is still in a fog, the divorce is not something I wanted to do but I cant go on like this and then she decided she wanted the divorce to so it was a done deal. We had no kids together but I do miss her kids. I wish some days It would just turn out to be a bad dream but then reality sets in again. It will all work out one day.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

You are 100% right. I thank God for the strength I've had and continue to have throughout this ordeal. I am enjoying my newfound independence, and I love the person I am. And you know what? Other people think I'm pretty damn cool, too. He lost out. Onward and upward. There are SOO many better men out there, and there might just be one who deserves me.


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