# Not drinking is killing my social life!!



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I'm beginning to see myself as a social outcast! I haven't drank alcohol since I was 22 years old, now I'm fifty. You would think not drinking would be a positive attribute but it seems to always segregate me. It caused lots of issues during my 20 year marriage because my ex and her family were big into the party lifestyle. Now that I'm single it still causes issues, I have met several women who as soon as they find out I don't drink at all flip the switch to off. I have tried to go with the flow a few times but frankly I get bored out of my mind sitting in a bar with people drinking. Recently I met a nice gal and things were going well for two weeks until the dreaded lets go get a drink invitation, she was shocked when I told her I didn't drink. I'm telling you I saw her just deflate right in front of me, of coarse they always say it's no big deal or good for you. Some instantly get defensive about their own drinking, I will never be with a drunk but someone having an occasional drink doesn't bother me at all, but if the whole activity is focused around drinking I'm not interested.

I guess I'm just venting, I was sorry to see this last gal go, I liked her. And it's not like I'm meeting women in the wrong places, I think drinking is just a big part of many peoples lives and they aren't comfortable with someone who doesn't enjoy that life.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

I could be wrong, but I believe there are more non-drinkers or people who can simply take it or leave it than there are drinkers. 

Upon occasion I like to enjoy a good glass of wine, but for the most part alcohol usually winds up giving me a headache. If there is alcohol in the pantry of my house or beer in the fridge, there is a possibility it has been there way too long. Others are warned to drink at their own risk. LOL!!! 

The majority of individuals I am friends with or socialize with are mostly non-drinkers/take it or leave it people as well. Don’t get me wrong, I had some pretty fun times in my youth which often involved alcohol. However the older you get, the longer those darn hangovers last. The last time I had any form of alcohol was two glasses of wine back in May. Before then I couldn’t tell you how long it had been. Even though those two small glasses of wine were consumed with dinner, I had a pounding headache the next day.

Being a non-drinker does not necessarily mean you are a stick in the mud. I can have a blast in many things I do which do not involve a drop of alcohol. Hang in there! There are plenty of us out there who have alcohol that just sits around collecting dust in our houses. Oh ..... Actually that just reminds me that I have two bottles of wine stashed in the bottom of my closet that were gifts from a guy I dated who had a membership to a winery. The irony is, he hardly drank also. He just got suckered into a membership. LOL!!!


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

They probably think that it has to do with religious preferences or whatnot because a lot of non-drinkers are religious to some point. I drink on occasion and I agree, I find that nowadays people do act like you cannot have a good time without drinking. Maybe meeting ladies in a bar setting isn't a good idea (don't know if you are or not) since it does seem to be pretty cheesy going there and ordering a water or a soda if you're not a designated driver. I never had luck with meeting people so I can't really help you with where you can meet women without a lot of alcohol around.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Both my mother and my father-in-law did not drink, and people loved to give them grief about it. They just laughed it off; they stood their ground and did not let other people's opinions bother them.

This sentence jumped out at me from your post:

I have tried to go with the flow a few times but frankly I get bored out of my mind sitting in a bar with people drinking.

Why are you going to bars to meet people? 

It must have hurt to have the last date leave, but I am sure that it would not have worked out for you for other reasons. Someone who is truly interested in you will not be bothered by your not drinking.

Join a volunteer group, church group, or adult sports league to meet people whose social lives do not revolve around alcohol.

Be who you are; never apologize! When you meet the right person, she will love that you do not drink.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

For the most part my close friends are very casual drinkers, not the type of crowd that frequents bars. I never go to bars on my own, the few times I have ended up in a bar these last few years has been at the suggestion of a "date" because she wants to meet up with some friends to see a band or just hang out. As I said I tried to be a good sport and go along but once I see it's just going to be hanging out and drinking I can't wait to leave. 

I'm just surprised at the number of people who focus all their activities around drinking, and there sure seems to be more of that type than my type.


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## forever learning (Sep 28, 2010)

I haven't had a drink in 7 years and I don't miss it one bit. I used to have way to much fun drinking but enough was enough ..it was interfering with my life so I stopped. 

I know a lot of people that do and I don't gel with them...I will do things with them for a bit them boogie out when the real drinking gets going. But for the most part I am on my own. I actually don't know of anyone else that doesn't drink now that I think of it.:scratchhead:

Ironically my stbx told me in a conversation about trying to figure out our marriage that I used to be more fun when I drank and our lives had gotten boring....
She wasn't a big drinker but has been drinking alot compared to what she used to....


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