# Wife threatens to leave with daughter.



## clnyc (May 24, 2012)

I live in NYC with my domestic partner; we did not get married due to some tax issues I wanted to resolve first. Our relationship is been great for 5 years with some minor problems. We now have a 6-week daughter and after an argument she is threatening to leave. 

Here are the facts:


I provide all the support my wife and daughter need (Affection and monetary)

I heavily emphasize the concept of education and want my wife to learn English. She's been in the US for 10 years and would not learn the language.

I am truly very caring towards my family and the well being of all members

Her mother drives me crazy

Her brother is an inept that has a crash on her sister (my wife). 
He treats her as if she were his girlfriend. I know, this is very sickening. He is a major part of our arguments.

So now my wife is threatening to leave because of an argument. 

Can she do that legally? What can I do to protect my daughter? I'm really scared of her brother near my baby.

I'm sick of this situation going my after wife with incentives to study, take care of our home, cook and help me out while I work full time and finish my master degree. She is not helping me at all.

HELP !


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

1. Talk to a lawyer. Get real legal advice on your situation. 

2. Just because you say you're meeting your wife's emotional needs doesn't make it true. 

Good luck

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

clnyc said:


> Her brother is an inept that has a crsh on her sister (my wife).
> He treats her as if she were his girlfriend. I know, this is very sickening. He is a major part of our arguments.
> 
> I'm really scared of her brother near my baby.


I find that disturbing. I picture him intentionally driving a wedge between you. If you let him, he will win. Arguing with her about it is pushing her toward him, instead of away. What ideas do you have to get your family away from this person? Are you able to move?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Yes, talk to a lawyer. Soon.

What is her immigration status? Can she even leave you and remain in the country? That's an important bit of the puzzle.

The brother thing is icky -- are you sure? Are you not misinterpreting another culture?

What was the argument about? If it was that crucial, I find it odd that you are glossing over the topic.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

You've received good advice.

My wife has pulled this stunt on me once and I dont think she will ever try again. I made it clear that she can hit the road if she wants to, but the kids stay with me. The only thing worth fighting for is your child.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Are you sure he's her brother? I've seen some instances where a wife or husband stated that someone close to them was a family member only to learn they were lovers using the family member as cover.

And as others have said, talk to a lawyer


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

The baby needs signatures from both parents to get a passport now.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Next time she threatens, grab her by the hand and move her out of the house. Tell her she is free to go but the baby stays.

+1 on contacting a lawyer ASAP.


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## 381917 (Dec 15, 2011)

A 6 week old baby needs its mother.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

381917 said:


> A 6 week old baby needs its mother.


Six week old babies are separated from their mothers all the time. What a baby needs is someone who is loving to care for the baby.

I have a son who I adopted when he was 10 weeks old. His birth mother signed away her rights to him the day he was born. He's a wonderful, well adjusted 23 year old young man. 

I am not suggesting that the OP should separate the baby and mom. My point is that a baby can do fine with out it's birth mother as long as the baby gets all the love and care the baby needs.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

clnyc, is your name on your daughter's birth certificate? Since you are not acutally married this could be an issue.

You can prevent her from removing the baby from the family home as long as you can care for the baby. But you need to see a lawyer, find out your rights, and then do whatever you need to do to keep her from taking your baby child away.

Do you speak your wife's native language very well?


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## 381917 (Dec 15, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Six week old babies are separated from their mothers all the time. What a baby needs is someone who is loving to care for the baby.
> 
> I have a son who I adopted when he was 10 weeks old. His birth mother signed away her rights to him the day he was born. He's a wonderful, well adjusted 23 year old young man.
> 
> I am not suggesting that the OP should separate the baby and mom. My point is that a baby can do fine with out it's birth mother as long as the baby gets all the love and care the baby needs.


He has said nothing to indicate that she is not caring for the baby. A 6 week old is still breastfeeding every 1-3 hours for goodness sake! That is definitely what is best for the baby.

clnyc- What do you think you need to protect the baby from? She won't be able to take her out of the US without your permission if you are on the birth certificate.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

381917 said:


> He has said nothing to indicate that she is not caring for the baby. A 6 week old is still breastfeeding every 1-3 hours for goodness sake! That is definitely what is best for the baby.


Yes it's best for a baby to be with his/her mother if the baby is nursing. However it is also wrong for a mother to threaten to run off with their children if there is no abuse or other serious issues going on in the home. He's the child's father and thus also very important to the child's development.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Speak to an attorney and call her bluff AND under any circumstances do not sign anything that would allow her to travel overseas with your baby.
_Posted via My Brain_


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

381917 said:


> He has said nothing to indicate that she is not caring for the baby. A 6 week old is still breastfeeding every 1-3 hours for goodness sake! That is definitely what is best for the baby.
> 
> clnyc- What do you think you need to protect the baby from? She won't be able to take her out of the US without your permission if you are on the birth certificate.



Not all babies breast feed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Spadesrave (May 25, 2012)

clnyc said:


> I live in NYC with my domestic partner; we did not get married due to some tax issues I wanted to resolve first. Our relationship is been great for 5 years with some minor problems. We now have a 6-week daughter and after an argument she is threatening to leave.
> 
> Here are the facts:
> 
> ...


Even though you are not married i still beleive as long as you are on the birth certificate that you has every right jsut as her especially if she is livig in a good home. I had an issue one time with my ex where he tried to keep my son from me out of anger and i called the law, they said that the child isnt aloud to go without the others permission so it applies to both parents. aside of that happening. i am sorry to hear about that! its not fair to you and it hurts beyond repair. I hope that things get better between you both or go there sperate ways but with the child involved in both parents lives of course! take care!


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## 381917 (Dec 15, 2011)

Sanity said:


> Not all babies breast feed.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have a feeling this baby does, and that is the best source of nutrition. At any rate, many studies have been done showing that being separated from its mother is a most stressful circumstance for a newborn. The baby was a part of her body 6 weeks ago. Newborns know and prefer their mothers over all others, from her smell to her voice. It is truly sadistic to suggest separating a mother from her 6 week old baby unless the mother can't/doesn't want to care for the baby or is dangerous in some way to the baby.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Go a head and let your wife and your kid leave, give them a day and she will see how good she has it and will come begging back.

Stop getting emotional black mailed by her and call her bluff. If she leaves stop all joint account, credit cards and cell phone.

At the end of the day, your BIL is the cuase of all this so you need to regroup. I have a feeling were ever she goes it will be very inconvienent for all in volved especially with a 6 month old as baggage.

So with a smile on your face help her pack everything and send her on her way. Again I have a feeling if you call her bluff she will end up in the bed room crying her eyes out knowing she has no were better to go other then were she is already at.


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## The Renegade (May 16, 2012)

Few questions:

Where is she from?

Why does she not learn the language? Generally not very social? Too comfortable?

What exactly tells you that her brother treats her like his GF?


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