# How often does your spouse cook for you if you are the primary meal maker.



## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I can not remember the last time my wife made me a meal and a special meal is even longer so how about anybody else,When I cook I cook for both of us or she has has already eaten.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I am not the primary meal maker.

My wife cooks 2-3 nights a weeks.

I cook 1-2 on my days off.

The rest of the week is take -out or everyone is on their own if they want to eat.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Not very often. I even do all the grilling, I like mine more rare, especially steak.

If my husband does cook, it's French fries and chicken strips or hot dogs. That's pretty much it for dinners. He will cook fish. I hate fish, I grew up on a lake, so we ate it too often growing up.

He does make breakfast for the kids every weekend. I really appreciate that. He will make waffles or pancakes. If they want omelets or French toast, I'm the one who does it.

I cook 95% of the time or more. I can't really grill salmon as good as my hubby. However, he leaves the skin on the grill for me to clean off. LOL

I love cooking and baking and I try to make everything from scratch.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

My wife and I split it up pretty well but we both enjoy cooking, we cook together when we can. When either of us cooks it always for everybody.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I have though about starting a primary meals makers clubs where I leave and we can all go out one night a month and treat ourselves.


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## Needpeace (May 24, 2012)

Hmm....well, early on in our relationship I taught hubby some quick n easy meals to cook but he never utilized the skills learnt, it would have been nice when the kids were young & working 2 jobs to have a meal prepared each now & then, so I guess the answer is never, it did bother me then but it doesn't bother me now since I'm not working.

Food always tastes so much better when somebody else has cooked it for you. :smthumbup:


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I cook almost every night.
I cook 100% of the meals.
I am good with cooking, I love it.

In all my life, other than my mother and grandmother, and once in a while stopping over to my friends house, I've never been cooked for. But that's okay with me


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I'm the one who does most of the cooking. I was annoyed by it for awhile, but now...it doesn't bother me. It's all about perspective. Generally speaking, he likes to cook. But he doesn't have the focus to do much lately. His doctor is trying to get that worked out. But every once in awhile, he will cook a meal. Usually, it is something like burgers or mac and cheese. But again, it doesn't bother me... NOW. Now that there is real communication going on, I LOVE doing things for him... including cooking his meals (well, the family's! LOL)


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

We don't cook for taste really, so the normal "What's for dinner?" conversation happens as often as "Where are you flying to this weekend?" meaning it doesn't ....lol.

We both work out a ton........so it's chicken breast, salmon, veggies, protein shakes, salads, then repeat. Now we do cook for the kids and may nibble, but normally if we really want fattening food etc we will just go out somewhere. 

Personally I could care less if my wife every cooked again!! Means ZERO to me if she cooks me a meal.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

Maricha75 said:


> I'm the one who does most of the cooking. I was annoyed by it for awhile, but now...it doesn't bother me. It's all about perspective. Generally speaking, he likes to cook. But he doesn't have the focus to do much lately. His doctor is trying to get that worked out. But every once in awhile, he will cook a meal. Usually, it is something like burgers or mac and cheese. But again, it doesn't bother me... NOW. Now that there is real communication going on, I LOVE doing things for him... including cooking his meals (well, the family's! LOL)


I love cooking my man a homecooked meal, I don't know why, but I feel like I try my best to take care of him, to make sure he is eating well and full before the night is over. Sometimes we eat out, but we've been doing so much better at staying home and eating here.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

For the first decade or so my husband did most of the cooking and nope I didn't eat most of it and it drove him nuts. I was picky and I have unhealthy issues with food. I cooked some for him but not near enough.

Now I'm healthier (I suffered from depression) and a homemaker. I actually love to cook and prepare most of the meals. He will help if he's home. He will also feed the kids if I'm unable to. I still prefer to make my own food but can eat what he cooks now. I know it appeared what I did to him was rude but it really wasn't. I couldn't help it.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I usually cooked because he got home so late but he loved to cook

left the kitchen looking like a bomb had hit it obviously but he was a very good cook


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I'm the primary meal maker -- for one thing, I like to cook, and I'm a good cook. H makes breakfast sometimes, but mostly when he wants to give me a break, he takes me out for dinner. Works for me


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I cook 5 or 6 nights a week....husband cooks 1 or 2 nights (his days off). he gets home around 8pm so I wouldn't expect him to do the cooking. And I enjoy it


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Dubbizle, I feel like maybe we're not answering your real question, which is that you feel like your gift of cooked meals is not appreciated or reciprocated. Is that accurate?


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

We switch. If she cooks I'll do cleanup, if I cook she will.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Well he cooks when i don't feel like it or if I'm ill but one thing we love doing .. is cooking a meal together. We will both be standing there at the stove chatting away about some random thing while frying something up lol.


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## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

I'm the only one who cooks, but instead of cooking, my husband orders food or takes me out to eat.
No matter what it is that we're dining on, we make sure to do it together.
When it comes to dinner, we don't dine without the other, it's "our" time,even if one of us works late, we wait for the other. 
And to let you know how special this if, he's currently deployed & this is the 2nd thing he said he missed about me.
So yes, it's apparent to me that things one might take for granted actually are VERY important.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

The ONLY time that my husband cooks is if I am flat on my back sick. Then, he cooks for himself and the kids, because I am usually in bed not eating anything. Even then it is rare because I usually have leftovers available at any given moment that he can just reheat. 

It's not because he CAN'T cook - it's because I enjoy doing it, and never want to give it over to someone else. Cooking is one of my favorite things to do and I relish spending time in the kitchen after a long stressful day at work. 

All of that being said - I do know plenty of people who cannot figure out how to boil water, and loathe cooking. Maybe your wife is one of them? If that is the case, obviously there has to be a way to meet middle ground. If you don't want to cook 100% of the time, plan to eat out or get take out a few nights a week. If you enjoy cooking but the issue is that you feel she isn't pulling her weight, ask her to take care of the dishes or some other chore around the house in exchange for your cooking every night. 

I do 100% of the cooking and clean up, but my husband is responsible for trash each night and for feeding and caring for the pets. I always tell him I feed the humans, he feeds the animals.


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## firebelly (May 24, 2012)

Cooking was a source of contention in my marriage. I like to cook...about twice a year. But I'll do it more often 'cause I think it's healthier and cheaper than eating out. My stbxh COULD cook, and bragged about his cooking ability, but I could never get him to commit to cooking. Maybe it was my approach? I wanted us to have some sort of schedule around our work hours and I wanted it to be equitable in terms of the number of nights we were in charge. 7 days a week, one of those nights is take-out, that leaves each of us with three nights each. He never wanted to commit to that but wasn't willing to say what he wanted to do instead. After a while it became apparent that what he really wanted was for me to just do it all the time, and I resented it.


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

She cooks once in awhile. She bakes more often, which is excellent, since, while I'm a better than average cook, I stink at baking.


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## lifesabeach (Feb 25, 2012)

My W says I am to good a cook for her to take over:smthumbup:

We came to an agreement a long time ago - I cook she cleans up the mess. She also does most of the baking. I love to cook so I don't have any problem with it. She does cook dinner every now and then, usually when we eat tacos because she likes them a lot spicier than I do. But then I cooked blackened chicken one night and she said it was to hot:scratchhead: I didn't have a problem with it being hot. 

OP sorry I don't have any advice about your W. The times you cook and she has already eaten did she know in advance that you were cooking for her?


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i do most of the cooking, husband will cook...but he works crazy hours, and its not always possible to meal plan.

he can cook..sometimes he will do breakfast, he also will just bake a cake just because...

sometimes we tag team dinner...like i will season the meat, he will fry, or brown it and do gravy, and i'll do the sides.

everyone else must do clean-up.

we shop for the food together, unless its a surprise for him...i made dinner last nite, shrimp with pasta, tomatoes, parmesan cheese,and i made breakfast today, cheese omelets, bacon, hash browns..

im not cooking tonite...neither is husband. also there can be weeks of no one cooking anything. although recently i commented to my husband he hasnt been in the kitchen for 2 years.

he said he knew, an felt a little bad about it...he is starting to go into the kitchen again.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

OMidam.

He just BBQ'd carne asada, pollo asada, tortillas and corn on the cob.

Amazing.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

dubbizle said:


> I can not remember the last time my wife made me a meal and a special meal is even longer so how about anybody else,When I cook I cook for both of us or she has has already eaten.


You have no idea how proud I feel to answer this question.
I currently cook 3 nights in the week and usually on the weekend too.

He's used to being the chef in our house-hold. He enjoys cooking and makes awesome meals. He loves finding new things to create and experimenting. And the aftermath he leaves behind is my responsibility. It's his rule that "Whoever hasn't cooked has to clean". He now cleans the kitchen after I've cooked but I tend to clean as I go so there's not much for him to do. He's laughed and apologized at the mess he's left me and offers to help clean, but to me, his meals are on another level and worth the extra time it might take me. I do teasingly call him my Swedish Chef though (like The Muppets). 

I used to make dinner once or twice a week if that. I use the term "make dinner" loosely. Now I do actually cook dinner properly. I realized at my age it was kind of crap that I didn't know how to cook and decided I was overdue to learn. I dealt with the wall I'd built up as my reasoning why I didn't cook/enjoy cooking. Now I LOVE to cook. Not all my meals are hits but I'm getting there. There have been more hits than not. And I know he finds it sexy, which motivates me lol. I've proudly cooked for friends when they've come for dinner too. 

For a short time, after awakening my culinary skills, I started cooking every night par weekends but he stepped back in and said although he loves that I'm cooking he still wants to cook for us. He enjoys it. The attention and care he puts into his dishes never ceases to amaze me. So currently, I tend to cook Monday - Wed. He cooks Thurs - Fri. And weekends whatever goes. Sometimes I make Sunday lunch... sometimes he'll do a slow cooked meat dish that takes nearly all day.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

About the only time hubs cooks is if it is on the grill. Even then, I do about 1/3 to half those times.

Oh... he does make HIMSELF something to eat (bowl of ice cream, cereal, pb&j sandwich)... if he's still hungry later after supper. Or if he gets home a little earlier than norm & I'm not even started with supper yet.

But does he make me the snack too??? um.. no.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

lamaga said:


> Dubbizle, I feel like maybe we're not answering your real question, which is that you feel like your gift of cooked meals is not appreciated or reciprocated. Is that accurate?


Agreed. I got a bit carried away answering the title of the thread. All about me, me, me 

Why does she sometimes eat without you? Do you want her to start stepping it up and helping more in the kitchen? Do your schedules dictate things panning out this way?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Both my partner and I love to cook, so it's usually a joint effort, but we tend to cook a special meal for one another at least once a month.

We tend to view mealtimes as 'social' occasions, and I think it's a pity that you and your wife don't sit down to dinner together. Is this something you would like to do more of? If so, how about suggesting that you take it in turns to cook at least several times a week?


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## hidingaway (May 29, 2012)

my hubs cooked once for me when we were dating, but it was too spicy for me to eat. my hubs is an immigrant, so he'll sort of cook with me to teach me a new dish, but other than that i'm on my own. and learning a different cultures food aint no joke!!


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I am not a good cook, so my hubby does it all! :lol: and he's damn good at it, too!

The only time I cook is to prepare specific things, like my "bumpkin" homemade mashed potatoes, or asian stir fried veggies (with pineapple).

Getting hungry! LoL!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Never


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> I am not a good cook, so my hubby does it all! :lol: and he's damn good at it, too!
> 
> The only time I cook is to prepare specific things, like my "bumpkin" homemade mashed potatoes, or asian stir fried veggies (with pineapple).
> 
> ...


You can read? You can cook


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

I love to cook and bake so I do most of it except for Saturday nights. My husband makes pizza with the kids and I do nothing  They even put the kitchen back in the order that they found it!

My husband is an OK cook. Once in a while he will make me breakfast when he has a weekend off.

I do a lot of cooking ahead so if there is a night I am not feeling well or whatever all he has to do is open up the freezer and I have meals put together in there.

I always try and do the cleaning up after dinner too since he works all day I'd rather him get more time playing with the kids than washing dishes.


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## Latigo (Apr 27, 2011)

I make about 70% of the meals. But we will help each other with the prep work if it something elaborate. We have a friendly rivalry going as to who can cook the best. She says that she will let me think that I am better b/c it gets her out of cooking. I told her that in the kitchen, as in the bedroom, she is VERY VERY GOOD...but I'm better


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## His_Pixie (Jan 29, 2012)

I cook 98% of the time. I LIKE to cook and I'm always experimenting in the kitchen. Recipes are my hobby. 

My husband can cook and will...but generally needs a prodding. The only time I get a little miffed at the expectation of my putting food on the table is when I'm just home from a 12-hour shift or when I'm getting ready to go IN for a 12-hour night shift. Only sometimes it bothers me; usually I just see it as my role (self-imposed). But leaving the house at 6AM and getting home at 8PM and then making dinner? That's a bit rough. 

He *would* make dinner....but he doesn't usually offer. If I asked him to, he certainly would and he is a good cook. So the fault is mine for not expressing it.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I love cooking and am 'in charge' in the kitchen probably 80% of the time, but we prepare all our meals together. About once every week or two he is in charge of whatever meal we're making. We do meal planning together for a month at a time.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My husband is the primary Bread winner and I am the primary Cook, if I felt like lying down on the job, our whole family would live out of cereal boxes, mac & cheese, ramon noodle & eggs. These are the things my kids prepare if I get lazy. 

The most my husband seems to do -if I am out of the house, is make Pancakes with Mickey Mouse ears for the kids. 

If we use the grill outside- for a party .... He will get the thing going , then we'll be flipping together. 

Our oldest is the chocolate chip cookie maker, the siblings love him for that. Our 2nd son has been getting more into a little baking too. Their sweet tooth is putting them to work!


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