# This is long, but I NEED HELP!!!!



## j5309 (Mar 26, 2009)

Hi im having problems in my marriage and need some help. Alright, here it goes. Ive been with my husband 7 years married for 4 of those. He is almost 28 im 26, we have no children. We are currently living with my Grandmother and my sister due to the fact the my Grandfather past away last September, so we are here to help financially. Weve lived here five months and before that we lived with my parents due to our own financial issues, and we lived with them for a year and a half. So we have not been on our own for almost 2 years. My husband is great he works hard and loves his job. I have never wanted to leave him, I love him, I find him attractive. But ive been really depressed lately I am very unhappy about not living on our own, I was so close with my grandftaher he had alzheimer's/ dementia I helped him alot and he was around my whole life he was like my father. Since ive been living here ive been really mean towards my husband, I dont know why. I call him names and tell him I want a divorce and if he touches me I turn away. I know I dont mean it, I feel so guilty. So anyway the other day we got in a stupid argument then he told me hes unhappy with our relationship and thinks it would be best for both of us to get divorced. He says he still loves me and cares about me and likes me and he finds me attractive. That was a few days ago. Hes known that im not happy here and im depressed. A few weeks ago we were talking about moving to our own place. My b-day was a couple weeks ago he made me a wooden plaque with pictures from the weekend getaway we had right before my b-day. I know he loves me and he would never cheat on me. Ive asked for another chance at our marriage Ive told him i know ive been pushing him away and im sorry, i told him im sorry for everything ive ever done. So I asked if he would stay and get our own place together and see what happens, and try to work this out. At first he would just say im tired of trying, and he doesnt ever see things getting better. Well now hes staying but I dont know if its right. I think one of the things that makes him unhappy is we havent had a child yet, I know he wants to or he did but I wasnt ready. He said hes only happy at work. And last night we were just talking he calls me honey and baby. I just need advice will this possibly work? Or should I just let him go. We love eachother, care for eachother, find eachother attractive. Is he just depressed to? Or have I done too much damage?? Someone please help me?????


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Get your own place, a one bedroom apartment. Something for starters and not expensive. Try for a 6 month lease, if possible (try to NOT get locked into a year long lease just yet). And give it some time. 

You might find that it's fun to run around the place naked!  To put on a french maid outfit and fix dinner! 

You need to get away from your grandfather's house that holds so many memories for you. I'm not saying to forget them, but get out of their influence.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

You need to do exactly what dcrim said.

People don't realize how much stress living with other people can put on a marriage, even if those people are good and give you your space.

You need to find a 6 month lease to rent your own place and "re-find" each other.

If it still isn't working out or getting better then get a divorce.

Ask him to give you 6 months of you 2 living on your own, if its not better or if he still wants out, then you two can part ways.


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