# end of the road



## thegreenfairy (Jan 2, 2014)

hi there,
not entirely sure where or how to start but here goes....i have been with my husband 12 years and married for 5....i am 33 and he is 45 so theres a little age gap which has never posed a problem really.
around 2 years ago the situation with his job changed and it meant he was working long hours and as a result i started feeling lonley and neglected as we stopped doing things together like we used too.
I sat him down one day and told him all this and he agreed that the marriage came first and he would get his hours changed and that at weekends we would have more us time and less time with all his buddies piling over.....this change never came.
Over the next year we grew further and further apart...i lost 3 stone in weight because of the stress and depression....i tried numerous times to beg for his attention and it dident seem to work....i also had times where i became seriously ill and was left to fend for myself as he had to work.
crunch time came 6 months ago....i had become hardened and totally independant and sat him down and told him that in my eyes our marriage was over...he was very upset and apologised for the way he had taken me for granted....i told him it wasent so much the taking for granted it was his total indifference to any problems i may have that really did it.....he begged me to stay and said we would try and work it out....i told him i would but that i refuse to feel this way for much longer.
again nothing changed...his work hours did which was good but it hasent made any difference....he arranged one night to go for dinner with a friend and i brought things up and tried talking to the point i got emotional and cried...he basically went to dinner with his friend even though i told him i was very unhappy.
Ive had a lot of different things go on.....i went to a friends funeral which was very hard for me and he was the last person i heard from that day.
so came another discussion i brought up the "elephant in the room" which seemed to be our marriage,he cried again and told me i was the only person he cared about and that he loved me to which i replied if he really did love me i would feel it and i dont feel that from him....i almost feel like we are 2 friends living in a house except you would show more concern for a friend,i told him that i feel the only thing to do is to seperate and put our heads into perspective because i feel nothing will ever change while im there,he asked me to stay at least for xmas and i agreed.
to me it was a disaster,he went out xmas eve and new years eve,and has been acting like the conversation hasent taken place,in the days after the conversation i was in bits like a sort of loss feeling,i couldent eat or sleep but he was acting totally normally and i dont understand it at all.
My gut tells me that nothing will change and il just be unhappy if i stay which in turn will make him unhappy and that isint what i want at all


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Your gut is right. Nothing will change. Time to put this fiasco in the casket. 

Your husband is clueless. He just doesn't get it. He thinks he does but he doesn't. You will spend your life asking, reminding, wanting and he will nod and promise and nothing will change.


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## thegreenfairy (Jan 2, 2014)

i think your right...we had a bit of a row last night....hes a mechanic and i have been driving without a drivers side wing mirror for over 3 weeks...got fed up asking for it to be fixed so i did it myself....i totally lost it and started shouting...the excuses that came from him n ot doing it were incredible!!! it may sound like a pathetic thing but its the latest in a long line of things that i have had to deal with myself and im sick of saying it to him


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## JohnSebastian (Dec 24, 2013)

Oh boy Greenie, you're his wife, not his mom.


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## thegreenfairy (Jan 2, 2014)

actually john....funny you should say that as i have compared our relationship to being more like a father daughter one....except a father would show more concern for things his daughter goes through!!:scratchhead:


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