# Where do we go from here



## MrLonely (Feb 27, 2011)

OK so heres a quick run down we been married for 11 years and together for 12 we have 5 children 4 together and our oldest daughter from her previous relationship we have been through lots...
My drug addiction which i overcame so she wouldnt leave me i gave up all my freedoms for her and our children including not being able to have any money or credit cards not even 5$ so i can buy a soda while i am at work at the same time she hasnt worked but maybe 3 months total in the 12 years we been together she is a great mother to our children i just dont understand her or what she is feeling she wants to control every aspect of my life but at the same time she acts like i am nobody to her even more so now that i am unemployed mainly because she causes me problems with my jobs when i am working like getting me to work late and causing me to miss days from work but in the end its always my fault im not working and do to the fact i cant get my license back for 1 more year even tho we have had every chance in the world to pay my fines and get my license back so i can get a good steady job and not rely on her to get me to and from work in a timely manner she has little routines that drive me absolutely crazy like goin to the supermarket everyday as opposed to getting what is needed for the week, or putting 5 $ in the gas tank so we have to get gas every day or every other day im no easy cup of tea i will admit it i am very moody. our sex life anymore in non existent she is just not interested anymore i mean i can take it if i want but its like having sex with a dead person and i still after 12 years have very strong sexual desires and because of her ignoring me or whatever it is she is doing i am feeling like im forced to try to find some other way or person to make myself happy again i dont want to cheat on her even tho i beleive in my heart she wouldnt think twice about doing it to me i just dont want to call it quits especially since i know what its like to have your dad not be there for you growing up im kind of a shy person so i dont want to say to much im just lost and confused and the people i trusted the most have passed away so i got noone but her and my kids and she is obviously not helping or i wouldnt be here crying to you guys im gonna stop my whinig now cause in the back of my head i hear her saying her favorite line (Poor You)


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

You need to get into MC if you want this to work and be happy. Something needs to change. MC really can transform a marriage. Please don't wait another year and be in the same place.

How To Find Affordable Marriage Counseling


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## MrLonely (Feb 27, 2011)

hmm i cant even get her to go to church


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

Do anything to have her go with you: Beg, marriage vows, chores for a month. ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

This is one of the most conversations and decisions of both your lifes.


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## AlwaysThinkingMaybe (Jan 31, 2011)

My take on it is this, at some point this woman stopped being your wife and became your parent, controlling your finances and what you can and cannot do, helping bail our out of a bad situation. She went into 'taking care of mode'. And while this is something spouses do for each other from time to time, if it stays like that for too long then it becomes a chore. Once it becomes a chore, its really hard to reconnect the relationship where it needs to be.

I agree with Anx, you should try Marriage Counseling. Maybe something like:

I'm unhappy with our current relationship, I know that you are too and I want to be the husband that you need and want. We need to go to counseling, because without it this relationship cannot last much longer.

Don't be wishy washy, be firm and know what you want and make sure she knows it too.


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