# I love my husband



## WhatNow? (Nov 1, 2009)

Hi, I haven't been here for ages and didnt post much when I was, so hello again.

Boy, marriage is tough. Hubby and I are in financial dire straits after he was retrenched overseas (we lived in Dubai for 4 years, doing really well) and so we had to come home. He started his own business again a year ago when we got back. It all looked very promising but with the recession he just wasn't able to make it work. It has eaten all the money we'd managed to save and although he has found another job and I start again on Monday we will be dressing in 12 different shades of **** for the forseeable future. Added to this he lost his mom in a car accident this time last year, we have (always had) a very uncommunicative marriage (but I am working on ways to get him to open up to me more) and the sex, which used to be great, (I had a climax almost every time we made love) has slackened to the point that I hardly climax at all. 

But I am in this with him for the long run and being on here helps me to realise that a) We are not alone and b) there are some couples with way worse issues than ours. I love my husband and although there are times when I consider whether being single wouldnt be easier, I am in this for better or for worse and although we fight a lot, I know that he is too. Even when he is super-pissed at me for whatever reason, he tells me he still loves me. And I will do what I have to in order to revive what we once had.

There are times when I think about when things get better and I can actually see it in my mind's eye, I can _feel_ it in my heart. I can almost taste our potential to be happy. That must mean it will come to pass. I have to believe I am right. Imagine being one of those couples who stay married and happy togeter forever. What an achievement.

Sorry for the ramble. I've had a couple of epiphany's over the last couple of days.


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## preso (May 1, 2009)

Dubai is a very wealthy place, even the police drive BMW's as patrol cars, since you have moved, you will be certain to find
you may not be in such financial problems as you thought, as most places in the world are not going to be as expensive as Dubai.
Of course you won't get the ocean views, new super modern expensive homes on the ocean... but you will certainly be able to have a roof over your head.


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## WhatNow? (Nov 1, 2009)

Hi. Thanks for the reply but just so you know we cant afford to pay our rent this month. We maybe have $200 IN TOTAL between us after having $250,000 when we came back one year ago. This has all been lost in the business. I have had to borrow money to keep this roof over our heads this month. We are living on rice and cheese sandwiches. We were doing well in Dubai; we had a Jeep, a BMW, a Honda CBR1000, a beach front apartment. Now my hubby is driving to work in an old Mitsubishi truck that pops out of 3rd gear and shudders like a drunk with the DT's. So if I missed your point about how we may not be in such bad financial problems as we thought, I 'm sorry. 

But like I said, I'm hoping for the best. I am a bit resentful that he lost it all but as long as we are together and can work it out together I know it'll be ok. Thats the hard part, cos we are not good at communicating our feelings to each other and we do fight a lot. S*** happens though and its only money.

Oh, and we are South African by the way. Just some extra info.


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## defeated (Nov 5, 2009)

wow. i cant even imagine have that much money. you know.... maybe if you didnt loose all that money, you might be in worse shape. like.... maybe this is the time to excersize how you love eachother and be there for eachother in the hard times. if you had all that money still, you might be out of practice by now. what do i know... lol. i have marriage problems!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

wow i do not blame you for being resentful. what a life change. 

I know what you mean when you say that you can just feel that things will get better. that is how i feel about my relationship, too. of course ask my tomorrow and i might not be so hopeful. I guess you just have to take it one day at a time and go with what you feel.


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