# Husband doesn't love me



## sad123 (Feb 16, 2009)

Last week my husband told me out the blue that he didn't love me. I was devastated and I'm still in shock. We have been married 2.5 years together 2.5 years before that. Everyone thought we had the perfect relationship, we thought that too, only that morning he said he loved me. He has been under a lot of pressure selling his business so I thought that that was the reason but he tells me it's not. He claims he is not depressed. I cried, cried, and cried but I don't want him to keep seeing me like that.

He asked for space so he is in the spare room. He is still making me dinner, telling me when he is going out but nothing more. We used to say we loved each other every day. We would send each other text messages asking how the others day was. I just can't understand it. He has only told his mum when she asked what happened that lots of things happened. He said to her it would be ok. I just don't know what to do.

I have downloaded lots of advice books, they say to act indifferent and agree with the seperation in order to win him back. That is so hard for me. I have given him space as best I can. I'm worried that i've lost him forever, Don't know what to do next.

Please help


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

ive done the separation trip with my H a few times and have separated in different ways.
yes were stil together. our first real split was after a year of boyfriend /girlfriend. we split up for 10 months. not once could he say he loved me. hurt really awful at times.
we do fall out of love with eachother, but in my heart if you stil have that special chemisty between u. you can stil make it.
we have separated in those actual terms - not stayed in the same house as eachother. 
and i have done the separation in the house. this is actually the hardest separation, living in the same house when you dont love the person your living with.
i dont think you have given him the best space you can. because you cant let him go, because you love him and your afraid of losing him. im afraid i believe in the heart grows fonder scenario. real space and him out of the house. otherwise you wil find you could fight so hard and really lose him. 
i stil ask my H to move out now, when he gets into his ruts. nothing wrong with it , we all need time to adjust to lifes challenges.
marriage isnt easy as you are aware.
marriage isnt a fairytale, marriage is a jigsaw - you just have to keep fixing the picture when its been broken.
dont give up , but the broken picture can be fixed through giving eachother real space. as its him with his muddled feelings - ask him to go to his mums.
you wil only get more miserable if he stays and you get more frustrated. i also suggest you go out. i think you have probably just got into a lull of married life. this is quite normal, even though it hurts.


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## sad123 (Feb 16, 2009)

He is off today, his mum said I should talk to him. I went in and I asked if we could chat and he said yes. I said I would prefer to listen but that I had written a letter, I went on to ask what was wrong. Again he said he didn't know, he said no one else and it wasn't my fault. He looked stressed about it. He then asked that I send the letter in email and he would read it later. He said is that bad, I said no but it makes me think you aren't really bothering. He said he realises that but even though it looks like he's not bothering or thinking about stuff that he was. He kept touching his head like he was feeling pressured so i was cautious. I explained that I understand that he needs time but that I was feeling very unsure and scared. He kept saying he was sorry. 

He said he didn't mind me calling his mum. I said did he think dating again would be beneficial, getting to know one another again but he wasn't sure. He did he wanted to want to try fix things. I said that if he did want to try again that I knew it would be a long road. I told him I would prefer to work on our marriage but would accept his decision.

I said how I missed our closeness and he said he did too but he needs more time. He said we would talk in two days. I said if he needed more time then that was ok. I kind of explained how I was in limbo but that I understand he is going through a horrible time too.

I know I should get myself out the house today but I'm so tired. 

I'm so confused, I thought we had a great relationship, a real understanding of one another.

Thanks for the reply


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Giving him space might be the best route right now but at some time he will need to bring his issues to light. You can’t address them if you don’t understand them. Giving a floundering spouse space is difficult and probably goes against your instincts but it can draw them closer. Let us know what your chat yields in a couple of days.


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## crushed (May 21, 2009)

My husband just did that to me at 10pm last night. I am floored.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

my husband did that to me last year. we don't talk anymore unless it's about our daughter. if we do talk, it's usually fighting and slinging insults to each other. i can't give you any advice. i just hope your situation improves and doesn't turn into mine


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

wow, i'm in the same position. But he's still sleeping in our bed. How weird is that? Says he considers us married till he moves out. Won't say when that is.


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## Veronica Jackson (Jul 2, 2008)

My husband is sleeping on an inflatable mattress, I wish he was in the bed with me but I am forced to move on. This sucks. Oh well. I can deal with it.


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