# Had blazing row ths evening



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I became upset. I had done nothing to precipitate the row.

The row started with: "What IS wrong with you? Why are you so argumentative?!"

I almost bit, then I thought: "Oh, dear. We have been here before. About once every month."

I shut up. I made her a cup of tea, said something about a cold she was developing and was called a patronising..." well, you get the picture.

I'll walk on eggshells for several days.

How the Hell do women cope? I really admire how you can cope with the physical problems of womanhood.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, Matt. You're such a good guy.

BUT...don't overplay this. PMS is not an excuse to be a b*tch to the person that loves you. Snapping occasionally? Yeah, we all do that, but then we apologize.

Oh, and if you think this is bad, wait till she hits the change


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Am I? Am I a good guy? God, I hope so.

Sometimes I doubt that, but I do my best.


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

MattMatt said:


> I became upset. *I had done nothing to precipitate the row.
> 
> The row started with: "What IS wrong with you? Why are you so argumentative?!"*
> I almost bit, then I thought: "Oh, dear. We have been here before. About once every month."
> ...


The only thing I see is you minimizing her......and insulting my intelligence. Maybe I don't know how to take you (and maybe your wife doesn't either), but somehow you want me to believe that out of the blue she began raging that you are so argumentative. It started that way, and you said nothing at all. Just out of the blue, "the row started with" her imagination that you were being argumentative. You weren't being patronizing either. You were just dismissing her with kindness and concern.

Perhaps she is PMSing. I would never know because I don't see it in this scenario. I see that you created a couple scenes and blamed them on her time of the month.


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## Bambusa (Feb 3, 2010)

Hormones explain away emotional fluctuations, they're no excuse for emotional abuse though.


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

Bambusa said:


> Hormones explain away emotional fluctuations, they're no excuse for emotional abuse though.


Wanted to like your comment but realized I don't know who you're talking about is being emotionally abusive - her or him? I guess her, so that's no reason to add a like to the comment.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

River1977 said:


> Wanted to like your comment but realized I don't know who you're talking about is being emotionally abusive - her or him? I guess her, so that's no reason to add a like to the comment.


Something on your mind? Did the OP do something to you? You seem a little hostile toward him.


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## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

Ouch, I'll admit I've been the inflictor of irrational comments when that b*tch Flo comes to Casa de Phenix.
Just a word of caution, don't ever verbally blame it on the PMS unless you want WWIII to break out.
Speaking from my own experience, my husband learned quickly that there are just some things that should not be spoken of.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Phenix70 said:


> Just a word of caution, don't ever verbally blame it on the PMS unless you want WWIII to break out.


you are wise, grasshopper 

Honestly, everyone grouses about menopause, but some of the changes are GOOD.

River -- I see what you are trying to say, but he's the one writing in - not her. And honestly, I've never been hesitant to call a guy out here for being a jerk. I just didn't get that vibe from MattMatt.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

PMS....

Well I'll speak for myself..... My husband doesn't have to do a darn thing and I still might want to pick a fight with him....not every month, it can be hit or miss... kinda depends if something sets me off....I get a little more fiercer with the kids too. 

I am not trying to use PMS as an excuse (well yes... I do believe I am)..... I am surely MORE emotionally and irritatingly vulnerable during this time frame. I can accually feel this cloud starting to hover over me....I am more sensitive and everything seems MAGNIFIED...I will suddenly cry at the smallest things.... like my brain is a hamster stuck on a revolving wheel.... truly the things I fight with him about ....are STUPID . They say the anterior "cingulate gyrus" becomes overactive in our heads. 

He jokes with me I need to be put in a cage with duct tape on my mouth.







How can I argue with it !! I do always apologize for getting out of hand. This is something that has come upon me , we noticed in my 40's... gotta take the good with the bad I guess. Got the sex drive increase -but I also got a boost in PMS! 

I don't care what he says to me, I know he is right, so I am not offended.....we fight a little, then have make up sex, then it was like I never had it at all. This is how it is with me...it does not last for days... it is very strange. I started to mark these things down, and definitely -it is during that time frame I am more likely to get out of hand and cause some Sh**.

There have been various Brain studies, called Spect Scans that prove our brains change during this time. (Google it!)....for some women it is so bad, they need treatment. A close friend of mine had her boyfriend break up with her 2 times over how she gets when she is pmsing... now she is taking something called 5-HTP.. I told her if she wants to keep this relationship -she better keep taking the supplements. It was bad!

I've read a variety of Hormone books talking about this also. So if men are smart, they won't take this too personal, just like women need to understand their men when they need sex -due to Testosterone affecting thier brains. I swear Hormones got us by the balls. 

PMS: Is It All In Our Head?



> *Phenix70 said*: Just a word of caution, don't ever verbally blame it on the PMS unless you want WWIII to break out.


 with ME... this just isn't true.....he doesn't really throw it in my face though or act like I am a monster.... I would much rather him understand ME , put up with me -and forgive me for my bit***ness -than to not attribute it to PMS. The truth is the truth and dogone it .... I've got some issues during that time- that I ain't got the entire rest of the month, so therefore, when he tells me I need my cage (his way of saying I am pmsing)... I just agree with him and :rofl: right along with him! 

We try to bring some lightheartedness to it. Me & my husband have always been able to laugh _after the fact _-about my unruly moments, I am not sure this is normal but we call it a good thing!


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## Bambusa (Feb 3, 2010)

River1977 said:


> Wanted to like your comment but realized I don't know who you're talking about is being emotionally abusive - her or him? I guess her, so that's no reason to add a like to the comment.


I feel her comments are emotionally abusive towards him.

I get snappy too. I KNOW I'm being snappy and I apologise for it. You may not be able to control your moods, but you can control the words that come out of your mouth. I'm assuming she doesn't suffer from Tourettes?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I went through times when my PMS was very very bad. Bad to the point of my vision being messed up... I could not focus. From what I hear I as a tad bit over reactive at these times. I did not want to be but I was. 

The closest thing to it that I can think of is having the worst hangover you can have for days.

I learned to just tell my hubby that I was going through a bad time and I needed to be alone till it passed. That worked, at least I could just nurse the myself through it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

EleGirl said:


> I went through times when my PMS was very very bad. Bad to the point of my vision being messed up... I could not focus. From what I hear I as a tad bit over reactive at these times. I did not want to be but I was.
> 
> The closest thing to it that I can think of is having the worst hangover you can have for days.
> 
> I learned to just tell my hubby that I was going through a bad time and I needed to be alone till it passed. That worked, at least I could just nurse the myself through it.


It helps tremendously when we can admit this and our husbands give us that understanding ... :smthumbup:

What is BAD about me is this... I seem to want MORE attention when I am Pmsing ...I want my husband to nurse me! If I felt he was trying to distance himself, I know I would grow worse...He never does this though. God I love him for that... He's a trooper.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> It helps tremendously when we can admit this and our husbands give us that understanding ... :smthumbup:
> 
> What is BAD about me is this... I seem to want MORE attention when I am Pmsing ...I want my husband to nurse me! If I felt he was trying to distance himself, I know I would grow worse...He never does this though. God I love him for that... He's a trooper.


You are lucky to have a man who is like this!! :smthumbup:


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