# I want you in me now



## Echos in Bongo Flight (Feb 16, 2015)

I said to my SO of 5 years on Tuesday morning as we are cuddling in bed, right before the alarm went off. I want your d*ck inside me. Nooo, didn't happen. I tell him again on Thursday evening. Noooo, didn't happen. 

It's now the following Monday and it hasn't happened yet. Tonight we will have a talk. The pure lack of desire or passion is killing this relationship. We have had this discussion before. Nothing changes for long.

Had he said something similar to me, I'd have been late for work and happily taken care of him. If the passion is just not there (as it appears to be for him) is it possible to get it back? Nothing has changed in our relationship. I haven't gained weight. I haven't been disfigured in an accident. We aren't fighting any more or less than ever. We aren't stressed about money.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

I have trouble understanding how a male would turn down a lady making that kind of demand...I mean- even if I wasn't really into it...I would do it anyway...waste not want not. 

There must be some kind of Low-T, depression, it's gotta be medical. Just gotta be. Get that man to the Doctor. STAT


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Depends on his age. Sexual desire in men naturally tapers off as we age. Nature doesn't want us fathering children which, historically, as we age we would be less able to provide for (think in terms of human evolution, eons ago, before modern medical technology which has extended our lifespan by decades.) If he's 25 I'd be more concerned than if he were 65. 

Also, have you had a discussion about drives? Long before my SO and I began our exclusive relationship, we had a frank discussion about sexual preferences, our boundaries, and our respective drives, because clearly if she is a 3x a day person and I was a 1x a week guy, the relationship would be doomed from the onset. These discussions only work if both people are completely honest with one another.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Have you talked to him about it? What did he say? 

My husband repeatedly turned me down for a long time in our marriage. It took many talks and some time before we got back to what we had before.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Hook him up with my wife - she says sex is too much work so they'd be perfect together.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

He quite likely has things on his mind. For me, projects around the house. Figuring out finances in my head. Work issues. These items keeps me thinking with my big head(pea brain). 

Have a talk with him. See what's going on with his pea brain.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

"I want your d*ck inside me" That's pretty darn sexy!

I can't imagine any red blooded american boy, (even a 60 y/o boy btw, and no disrespect to non-americans, fill in your own country of choice) turning that down!

Geeeeesh, dude!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

There is ALWAYS a good reason.

Problem is, reason is irrelevant and none of your concern OP.

Fact remains, he is not willing to meet the most basic needs of intimacy/relationship.

Without this, you already know this relationship is going no where.

Time to put the hammer down!


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## PM1 (Aug 9, 2011)

Is he prudish, where such language might be a turnoff? I would love such a direct approach, even once in a while.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Sexual desire lessens with age?

Wtf? Nooooooooooooooooooooo!


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

The only time those words were ever said to me was by a girl in college, while her boyfriend was in the other room doing a beer bong


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

T level , 
Age , 
medical issues,

All the above is a bu11sh1t , if my partener without talking showed he willingness to have sex, I will do everything I can to satisfy her , If physically torn , my hands still work , If I am paralyzed my tongue still work !

There are 3 possibilities :
-he is cheating on you .
-he is punishing u .(cruel punishment though).
-You mean nothing to him , seperation is v close ...

Identify which one is the cause ...

But the truth is that , he is cruel , and If I were you I won't live a minute with someone cruel ; unless really obliged.


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## Zouz (May 28, 2014)

T level ,
Age ,
medical issues,

are just causes for physical impotency.
He is selfish .


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Echos in Bongo Flight said:


> I said to my SO of 5 years on Tuesday morning as we are cuddling in bed, right before the alarm went off. I want your d*ck inside me. Nooo, didn't happen. I tell him again on Thursday evening. Noooo, didn't happen.
> 
> It's now the following Monday and it hasn't happened yet. Tonight we will have a talk. The pure lack of desire or passion is killing this relationship. We have had this discussion before. Nothing changes for long.
> 
> Had he said something similar to me, I'd have been late for work and happily taken care of him. If the passion is just not there (as it appears to be for him) is it possible to get it back? Nothing has changed in our relationship. I haven't gained weight. I haven't been disfigured in an accident. We aren't fighting any more or less than ever. We aren't stressed about money.


How old are the two of you?

How long as this been going on?

I agree that getting him to a doctor for a checkup is the first step.


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## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

One thing is for sure - he doesn't know how good he has it!!!


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

lonelyhusband321 said:


> One thing is for sure - he doesn't know how good he has it!!!


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

I agree!

The last person who said that to me was BW (before wife)


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

This may sound stupid to a lot of you guys, but... maybe he doesn't like that approach?

Case in point (and I'm embarrassed to admit this), but way back when my wife and I first got together, she threw me off, so to speak, a few times by talking dirty during sex. Things like "F me, F me harder". I was 30-something years old, and had never had a woman talk like that during sex.

I never told her not to do it, but I think she got a bit self-conscious about it, as I probably didn't react visibly or otherwise the way she thought I might.

I can't explain it, it was the damndest thing - it just... threw me off somehow. My best guess is that my ex wife (who would never in a million years utter words like that) conditioned me to "make love, not f***" and that wasn't part of my game. I learned over time that my wife is not a slow and romantic type in bed...

Ask me about it now, and I WISH she still spoke like that! Go figure, right?

So maybe OP's husband isn't being responsive to that particular mode of initiation? Maybe he never has been, or maybe his angle has changed over the years and he'd rather a more intimate and loving approach. Maybe he takes those words as being wanted for only his d***.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Echos in Bongo Flight said:


> I said to my SO of 5 years on Tuesday morning as we are cuddling in bed, right before the alarm went off. I want your d*ck inside me. Nooo, didn't happen. I tell him again on Thursday evening. Noooo, didn't happen.
> 
> It's now the following Monday and it hasn't happened yet. Tonight we will have a talk. The pure lack of desire or passion is killing this relationship. We have had this discussion before. Nothing changes for long.
> 
> Had he said something similar to me, I'd have been late for work and happily taken care of him. If the passion is just not there (as it appears to be for him) is it possible to get it back? Nothing has changed in our relationship. I haven't gained weight. I haven't been disfigured in an accident. We aren't fighting any more or less than ever. We aren't stressed about money.


Got any rope?

Five years in is a good time to mix it up .


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

alexm said:


> This may sound stupid to a lot of you guys, but... maybe he doesn't like that approach?
> 
> Case in point (and I'm embarrassed to admit this), but way back when my wife and I first got together, she threw me off, so to speak, a few times by talking dirty during sex. Things like "F me, F me harder". I was 30-something years old, and had never had a woman talk like that during sex.
> 
> ...


Possibly so. My own wife I can't imagine saying that, she is quite demure. But OP says she did that twice and no reaction.
Also talks about the lack of passion generally, so I'm guessing he's just not into it for whatever reason.......

No good excuses


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

askari said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> I agree!
> 
> The last person who said that to me was BW (before wife)


Same here - wife would never say this (of course, this is a woman who could go the rest of her life without sex and be perfectly happy). Old GF, on the other hand, would say "F me, harder, pound me" and would moan loudly (one time she was screaming in pleasure as we were doing it on the couch while her kids were upstairs in bed).

I would give anything for the wife to say something like what the OP said, but I have a better chance of winning the Powerball, winning the Nobel Prize for Physics, and being named King all in the same day - hell, I have a better chance of all of those things happening than having sex with the wife at all.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

ChargingCharlie said:


> Old GF, on the other hand, would say "F me, harder, pound me" and would moan loudly


When my current SO and I get married, and we have children, I'm going to have to line our bedroom walls with this:

Studio Soundproofing

When she has an orgasm, there's no doubt about it, because she announces it to the entire neighborhood...


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

yeah, it is increasingly becoming my problem. too.... he even joke that that's the age, where my drive skyrockets, but his goes down, so he is not going to compete with it. It's not that I am not getting any, but not as much as I would like. a little more and I start complaining on LD threads. Oh, isn't what I am doing now? lol


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Echos in Bongo Flight said:


> I said to my SO of 5 years on Tuesday morning as we are cuddling in bed, right before the alarm went off. I want your d*ck inside me. Nooo, didn't happen. I tell him again on Thursday evening. Noooo, didn't happen.


*Had that been said to either me, or any other horny red-blooded TAM male here, we would have been so instanteously orally involved on the asker that it would have literally made her head swim!

Get your man to an MD pronto, for a thorough checkup!*


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Or maybe he's no longer into you (figuratively, as well as literally). Are there other issues or resentments? Something that pissed him off long term? Physical or attitude changes for either of you? External stresses?


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## lonelyhusband321 (Feb 18, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *Had that been said to either me, or any other horny red-blooded TAM male here, we would have been so instanteously orally involved on the asker that it would have literally made her head swim!
> 
> Get your man to an MD pronto, for a thorough checkup!*


:iagree:

TRUTH!!


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

The only thing DW wants inside of her is food.


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## FatherofTwo (Dec 6, 2014)

WOW ...... that's amazing !!! 

Ohhh to hear those words ring in my bedroom or heck anywhere within my hearing ............ I'd gladly pass on a million bucks well at least a few dollars to hear them words from my wife !!! 

To each their own but if I wasn't able to get in her NOW .... I'd at least be on my knees doing whatever I can instead


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## Hopelessus (Oct 29, 2014)

In the years before marriage I always walked away thinking I learned the secret to staying together. I finally decided that sex was the glue. Men want it,most women want it and yet as often as I wanted it it was too much for my husband. I demanded too much. What is exactly too much?


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Hopelessus said:


> In the years before marriage I always walked away thinking I learned the secret to staying together. I finally decided that sex was the glue. Men want it,most women want it and yet as often as I wanted it it was too much for my husband. I demanded too much. What is exactly too much?


I don't think that's what it's about. Marriage is about looking out for the best interests of each other and having the other person's back. Under those conditions, things should be worked out in a way that builds the relationship. No one should be torn down or left without his needs being met. It should be a mutual desire to meet the other's needs without anyone making demands.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

are you controlling, did you gain 100lbs, have you done other things in your relationship that were hurtful?

maybe he checked out of your marriage because of resentment.


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## homerjay (Dec 12, 2014)

Echos in Bongo Flight said:


> I said to my SO of 5 years on Tuesday morning as we are cuddling in bed, right before the alarm went off. I want your d*ck inside me. Nooo, didn't happen. I tell him again on Thursday evening. Noooo, didn't happen.
> 
> It's now the following Monday and it hasn't happened yet. Tonight we will have a talk. The pure lack of desire or passion is killing this relationship. We have had this discussion before. Nothing changes for long.
> 
> Had he said something similar to me, I'd have been late for work and happily taken care of him. If the passion is just not there (as it appears to be for him) is it possible to get it back? Nothing has changed in our relationship. I haven't gained weight. I haven't been disfigured in an accident. We aren't fighting any more or less than ever. We aren't stressed about money.


Is he ill? Stressed? have you done something to annoy him/piss him off?


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

How old are both of you? There are definite changes in both men and women. In my mid 30's I turned insatiable. H would almost hide from me in fear and exhaustion. Early 40's I had an extreme drop due to female issues so the problem was reversed. Now we're both on the same wavelength sexually but we now realize that there will probably be unequal drives again in the future. We talk about it and find ways around it.

Open, honest communication can help with most relationship problems. Talk to each other!


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