# Can't take anymore



## Really? (Jan 10, 2010)

I have been with my husband for 10 years now and married for 6 years. I met him when I was 15.We have two children together,ages 3 and 1. I am not happy at all in our marriage anymore. I try to talk to him and make him understand but he thanks its my fault and I make myself unhappy he says. There are so any things wrong in our marriage that he just will not own up to or even try to fix.
#1 In his line of work he can work he gets layed off all the time. Then a day,or month or even months can go by before he gets called for another job. When he is layed off he does absolutely NOTHING around the house or for the kids. I am a stay at home mom and yes that is my job but if he is layed off I feel that he should be helping out with the daily things that need to be done and help with the kids.I feel like he is my 3rd child. he cant do anything for himself and I have to be his mother telling him right from wrong. He has no idea what a PARTNERSHIP is. I am definitly flying solo in this.
#2 He has a drinking problem!! Its not to where he drinks as soon as he wakes up but once he does start drinking theres no stopping until hes passed out. He has made a fool of me and himself more imes than I can count. (example: to make a long story short just last night around 10 when the company we had over was getting ready to leave, he wasnt done partying, so he goes home with one of his cousins and stays there all night. Then this morning his cousins wife texts me and says she doesnt appriciate my huband talking about inappropriate things around her 12 year old daughter, and he was so drunk he couldn't stand and falling all over the place...)how embarrasing!! when things like that happen I feel that I should appologize, like I am the one with the problem and I am NOT!! 
#3 I am lonely. The only people I ever get to have converstion with is my children. He cant hold a converstion for anyting. he has no desire too! He has no desire to do anything to make me happy!! I have asked him before hey does he do things he knows make me unhappy, he said because he isnt gonna make himself unhappy to make me happy. I should have ran away as soon as he said that!!
I just need to know what to do and if anyone else is in the same boat. I dont know what to do anymore. i am afraid to leave because of my kids. I grew up with a single mother,never had my father and I dont want my kids to have to go through the same thing. On the other hand I think you only live once, why stay if he makes me unhappy, I will regret it and by then it will be too late!


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

hi there,
boy you sound like you are at the end of your rope, you shouldn't apoligize for him you should have him deal with those situations when they happen...
don't cover for him, do you think the kids will be happier if you stay in that kind of a relationship? Kids are very good at picking up what is wrong....
post here for support and ideas on how to deal with some of what is going on here, a lot of us have situations similar to yours. 
I would suggest maybe some couple conscelling if he is willing. 
Try to figure out what he is missing in the relationship as well and see if you can understand where he is coming from.
Maybe if he feels better about himself he will be more interested in working on you being happy.....re-connect without resentment and just look at it as working on you two and your future and your family....
good luck


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