# Don't know how to confront my husband



## unhappy10 (Jul 18, 2010)

In another thread on the general discussion section, I posted about how I could not trust my husband and how I found out about him trying to hook up with other women.

He is still out of town and will be for another 8 weeks. I'm still checking his email and he is now in contact with this woman that he is planning on meeting this weekend. There was also another email from another woman that he is talking to about what they like in a sex partner. 

I have pretty much decided that I won't talk to him about this until he comes back. We were going to seek marriage counseling anyway since we were having other marital issues. At this point, I'm not really sure how to approach him about what I found in his emails. I feel bad snooping around and I know he is not going to be happy that I did. 

So, what I want to know is... what is the best way for me to approach him? How have some of you confronted your husband/wife? I don't want it to get nasty.


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## Tanelornpete (Feb 2, 2010)

Seven steps to ending an affair.

Third time I've posted this one today. That's depressing!

Take the steps one at a time. Your counselor is a good one to use for step #3.

Basically - gather your evidence now - gather as much as you can, copy it and save it somewhere safe...

And vent here if you need to.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I agree. it worked for me. The evidence was given to my wife so she could not deny it. 
I then walked a way (out of the room)for several minutes and came back. "thinking stay cool stay cool"
1st question-serious or just sex?
2nd. do you want to stay or leave me?
He will be lying so walk away and give your self a few more minutes to decide on your responses.
Don't let him know your feelings take control of the situationand keep him guessing, give your self time to think as you speek.
If it gets to much walk away for a few compose your self and return to the conversation
Good luck


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

Totally agree with the above.
But in the meantime...
I'd start dropping guilt bombs if he's gone for 8 more weeks.
Just for YOUR sanity.
I'd start sending him messages, pictures, whatever about "HOME" is a positive light. Let him enter his den of wolves with your friendly messages in the back of his mind. You know... a "I saw this (totally cute thing) at the store today and just had to send it to you. I reminds me of our first date." Ok - kind of extreme and obvious. But you do have a chance here to have a positive presence. Surely in order for him to do what he may be about to do, he's going to paint the worst possible picture of 'home' to allow him to justify. 

It will be VERY VERY hard for you to do this, knowing what you know.


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