# Feeling guity because of "happy ending."



## Mr.PotentialFulfilled

I got a happy ending at the end of a massage today. I didn't plan on it. I feel very guilty that I allowed it. I can never confess it to my wife. 

I really need massages. They heal my nervous disposition.


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## BrookeT

Did you pay for that ending.....? Was this "massage" in an actual medical setting or in a seedy parlor?


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## Mr.PotentialFulfilled

It really wasn't a seedy place. It was an excellent massage and one that I really needed. No, it was not a medical establishment. I did not tip for it ahead of time but I did give a tip at the end. I always tip at the end even when there is not a happy ending which is usually all of the time.


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## in my tree

There is nothing wrong with massages but, if you are true in your feelings of guilt, then you can look up a massage therapy place or even get a suggestion from your MD as to where to go. A "parlor" is usually not a place to go out of medical necessity. You know this, you are a smart man. 

Even if you do not want your wife to ever find this out, your guilt may give it away. Think about it.

Edit* Btw - as you probably know (especially because you get massages), it is completely normal for men to become erect when getting a massage. You're relaxed, feeling good, someone is touching you, it happens. Okay - but valid massage therapists know this and yet do not massage the man's penis!


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## BrookeT

Mr.PotentialFulfilled said:


> It really wasn't a seedy place. It was an excellent massage and one that I really needed. No, it was not a medical establishment. I did not tip for it ahead of time but I did give a tip at the end. I always tip at the end even when there is not a happy ending which is usually all of the time.


So it's a massage parlor. Those places are so sketchy, if you legitimately need a massage, go to a place that doesn't employ prostitutes. The suggestion of asking your MD is a good one.


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## Jack I

Mr.PotentialFulfilled said:


> I got a happy ending at the end of a massage today. I didn't plan on it. I feel very guilty that I allowed it. I can never confess it to my wife.
> 
> I really need massages. They heal my nervous disposition.


I recently posted a somewhat similar question in the general relationship discussion.I received a lap dance in a strip club.Interestingly I felt a little better because of my guilt...Meaning I thought because I felt guilty than that was better than if I had went home and didn't think anything of it.In my book there are two types of cheating husbands.Ones who cheat,go home and kiss their wives and act like nothing happened.These husbands are capable of behaving the same way around their wives on a day that they cheated as they would behave on any other day.And you have husbands that feel guilty and uneasy around their wives afterwards.One poster said your guilt may cause your wife to find out...It may look suspicious if your are not able to behave in a regular fashion around your wife and she realizes it.


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## that_girl

Why did you allow it to continue? Ew.


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## Dollystanford

:wtf:


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## KathyBatesel

So the obvious question... 

Why DID you allow it?


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## BeachGuy

I have to imagine you knew when you went there this was "available". Typically LMT's are the legitimate therapists. Going to a massage location in a strip mall with ladies from other countries is pretty obvious. I know they don't have to be "seedy" as one person put it but it seems easy to know legit from non.

I'd say don't tell her, don't do it again and live with the guilt.


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## Mistys dad

First, you need to stop BS'ing and be honest.

You cheated.

You did not get an accidental "happy ending" during a massage. You went to a hooker that was using "massage" as a cover. You knew it before you went in, before you put your money down and before you left the house.

You said:

_I always tip at the end even when there is not a happy ending which is usually all of the time. _

Always tip, even if there is no happy ending?

Usually all the time?

So you feel guilty, OK. 

Want to stop feeling guilty? Stop cheating.

Want to stop cheating? Stop rationalizing your behavior as something appropriate. If you need a massage, get a massage-from a real massage place-that does real massages.


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## Phoenix_87

Mistys dad said:


> First, you need to stop BS'ing and be honest.
> 
> You cheated.
> 
> You did not get an accidental "happy ending" during a massage. You went to a hooker that was using "massage" as a cover. You knew it before you went in, before you put your money down and before you left the house.
> 
> You said:
> 
> _I always tip at the end even when there is not a happy ending which is usually all of the time. _
> 
> Always tip, even if there is no happy ending?
> 
> Usually all the time?
> 
> So you feel guilty, OK.
> 
> Want to stop feeling guilty? Stop cheating.
> 
> Want to stop cheating? Stop rationalizing your behavior as something appropriate. If you need a massage, get a massage-from a real massage place-that does real massages.


Totally agree 
You don't need a massage, you have the urge to cheat and use the massage as a facade. If you really feel guily you should let your wife decide what is next or stop doing it and go to some real massage place. 
Now picture your wife being touched by another guy I don't think you would like it.


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## SunnyT

Innocently take your wife there....and tip them in advance for HER happy ending.


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## dubbizle

Innocently take your wife there....and tip them in advance for HER happy ending. 

I like the above.

I can imagine you have to stop it as soon as the person grabs the goods because once it get going you don't start thinking about the guilt until right after its over.

I would say live with it and be gulity.or take the cahnce of runining you marrige over a HJ.


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## RandomDude

Happy Ending Massage - YouTube
Happy ending!

Anyways, you've fked up big time bro.


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## Prodigal

Mr.PotentialFulfilled said:


> I really need massages. They heal my nervous disposition.


This is the first time I've ever heard of a hard-on referred to as a "nervous disposition."


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## RandomDude

Prodigal said:


> This is the first time I've ever heard of a hard-on referred to as a "nervous disposition."


:rofl:


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## Mr.PotentialFulfilled

People, I really was not looking to be mocked because of what I did. I know I screwed up. There is no need to mock me.


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## A Bit Much

Mr.PotentialFulfilled said:


> I got a happy ending at the end of a massage today. I didn't plan on it. I feel very guilty that I allowed it. *I can never confess it to my wife. *I really need massages. They heal my nervous disposition.


Interesting you are so concerned about protecting your wife's feelings after the fact and not before or even during for that matter. 

What a selfish man you are.


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## Hope1964

If you don't want to be called black when you ARE a kettle, what did you post this for??

You CHEATED on your wife and you have no intention of telling her. What do you really expect people on a pro marriage, anti-cheating board to say???


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## Tikii

You need to tell your wife. She deserves the choice of whether or not to allow the marriage to continue, just as you had the choice to continue letting the girl rub you off or not.

You cheated, plain and simple. You knew what you were doing, and you and unfortunately your wife have to live with the consequences. Your wording also makes it clear this isn't the first time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StargateFan

Reading on TAM has opened my eyes on a lot of subjects. Especially emotional affairs and open relationships/3 ways. I have moved the 3 way idea from my bucket list to the strictly fantasy bucket. My wife and I have had massage but at legit salons, nothing seedy. So I pose these questions strictly as an educational exercise inquiry. I firmly believe what the OP did is cheating.

So my question is is a message with a "happy ending" necessarily a bad destructive endeavor if done with with honesty ? I am sure most will say it is, but why? 

I can see how a happy ending could be a complete massage and very relaxing for both sexes. Ideally this is something that one could do for their spouse but in reality we are not professionals and do not have the training, stamina or proper equipment to give a professional level massage. Although my wife has the skill for the happy ending, I have to much stamina and she does not have enough. She does not like oral, but does like her magic wand. Since I am not a woman I do not know if a women would even like a "happy ending" after a massage. In my house a half hour or more massage does not result in a aroused wife, but a nap.  I suppose a spouse could provide the happy ending after the therapist left the room, but I somehow doubt the salon would allow this, and waiting until you got home would work also, but not be the same "total" relaxing experience. 

I had never really thought of this before reading this post and the idea has not really been thought through. But if both parties were fine with this and possibly done with the other spouse present would this still be considered destructive to the marriage ? I guessing one could view this as "hands free" masturbation and not really a sexual or emotional connection. 

It has been several years since I have had a massage but I do not recall the therapist using gloves. Would there be any risk of STD transmission?

I am sure many of you wise TAM members could explain why something like this would not be a good idea. I look forward to your input.


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## A Bit Much

StargateFan, I'm not sure this answers your question or not but here goes.

I would like to think that any... ANY sexual acts/contact is reserved for ME when it comes to my husband. In other words, happy endings are MY job (or his own in the privacy of our home) not some massage therapist who's job is to give a massage only. The massage on a professional level crosses the line if the client becomes aroused and he or she doesn't STOP. 

I would like to add, as a woman, I would NOT appreciate some strange man or woman giving me a happy ending. Keep your hands off of my vajayjay!!

In summary, stay away from my honey's genitals. Please and thank you. Those are mine to play with.


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## Cosmos

OP, that wasn't a massage it was hand job sex, and you know it. You might well feel guilty, because _you cheated on your wife._


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## Hope1964

StargateFan said:


> Reading on TAM has opened my eyes on a lot of subjects. Especially emotional affairs and open relationships/3 ways. I have moved the 3 way idea from my bucket list to the strictly fantasy bucket. My wife and I have had messages but at legit salons, nothing seedy. So I pose these questions strictly as an educational exercise inquiry. I firmly believe what the OP did is cheating.
> 
> So my question is is a message with a "happy ending" necessarily a bad destructive endeavor if done with with honesty ? I am sure most will say it is, but why?
> 
> I can see how a happy ending could be a complete message and very relaxing for both sexes. Ideally this is something that one could do for their spouse but in reality we are not professionals and do not have the training, stamina or proper equipment to give a professional level message. Although my wife has the skill for the happy ending, I have to much stamina and she does not have enough. She does not like oral, but does like her magic wand. Since am not a woman do not know if a women would even like a "happy ending" after a message. In my house a half hour or more message does not result in a aroused wife, but a nap.  I suppose a spouse could provide the happy ending after the therapist left the room, but I somehow doubt the salon would allow this, and waiting until you got home would work also, but not be the same.
> 
> I had never really thought of this before reading this post and the idea has not really been thought through. But if both parties were fine with this and possibly done with the other spouse present would this still be considered destructive to the marriage ? I guessing one could view this as "hands free" masturbation and not really a sexual or emotional connection.
> 
> It has been several years since I have had a message but I do not recall the therapist using gloves. Would there be any risk of STD transmission?
> 
> I am sure many of you wise TAM members could explain why something like this would not be a good idea. I look forward to your input.


It's 'massage', not 'message' 

WTF is 'hands free' masturbation?? Talk about an oxymoron.

There's lots of threads about whether it's cheating or not and what if both parties agree blah blah blah. Call it what you want, if someone other than your spouse is giving you sexual gratification, it's cheating. One form of it anyway.


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## Memento

I wouldn't use your" nervous disposition" as an excuse. It simply doesn't cut it. You are a grown man and you know exactly what goes on in a massage parlor. Just because your penis was not in contact with the "masseuse" vagina, it doesn't mean that you did not cheat. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it.
You have to tell you wife and beg her to forgive you. Otherwise the guilt will do it for you.


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## Starstarfish

When I get a legit massage its in my chiropractor's office, with a licensed massage therapist, and is submittable as a health claim against my insurance because of lower back pain due to a car accident. Or - it happens at the hair salon as part of a beauty package (which, it isn't nearly as effective as pain management as the first route, but it's more about the atmosphere/smelling nice, combining it with a facial, etc.) 

Both are legit options - but massage only parlors that are in weird parts of town, and generally staffed by mostly foreign women who may or may not be there of their own free will? Not so much. Also - I'm pretty such in any place where prostitution is illegal, paying intentionally or otherwise for this kind of "service" is illegal. Which you can say that wasn't intentional, but if that was before a judge, and you left a big tip, and say - but it wasn't for that, I'm not sure how that would fly. 

So to answer the other poster, there's one reason removed from any moral or cheating vs. no cheating debate why this is a bad idea. Paying for sexual acts (AKA prostitution) is, except by rare exception, illegal. Further, in some cases your money for your "happy ending" might be fueling human trafficking, terrorism, or drugs as they are often linked together, and the massage parlors can be fronts for more notorious sorts of businesses. 

So if you have some kind of physiological disorder (anxiety problem, what have you) that massage therapy helps with - I'm pretty sure this isn't the kind of massage therapy they had in mind. If this was actually recommended by your doctor or therapist - ask them to recommend you to a legit massage therapist who practices out of an actual office - not a van, not an unmarked door in a strip mall, not "house calls". 

Also - if the masseuse had been a man - would you have considered the happy ending as a part of the massage - or would you have freaked out? Would you have let him continue without saying something?


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## StargateFan

Hope1964 said:


> It's 'massage', not 'message'
> 
> *Haha. Can I blame it on auto correct. :rofl: or I could blame the oxycodone. I am home with a nasty ear infection and a little dopey. Could just blame the whole thought process on the drugs. *
> 
> WTF is 'hands free' masturbation?? Talk about an oxymoron.
> 
> *Yeah I had a hard time putting that into words. I guess I was trying to position as release, but not really by another person, more like a machine or robot. The "Orgasmatron" from the movie Sleeper. Hey that's a thought. If the Orgasmatron really existed, would that be cheating?*
> 
> There's lots of threads about whether it's cheating or not and what if both parties agree blah blah blah. Call it what you want, if someone other than your spouse is giving you sexual gratification, it's cheating. One form of it anyway.
> *Sorry, I poked around a little bit did not see anything, I guess it moot anyway.*
> .


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## Entropy3000

Ok so :

1) This is cheating.

2) If you need a massage then get a male massage therapist. I use a foam roller and do myofascial massage using a softball and a lacrosse ball.

3) Never go back to that place or that type of place again.

4) This was a poor choice but indeed a choice you made. First in putting yourself into this circumstance. i.e. going to a massage parlor that offers this type of prostitution. Next in allowing this to happen.


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## Entropy3000

StargateFan said:


> So my question is is a message with a "happy ending" necessarily a bad destructive endeavor if done with with honesty ? I am sure most will say it is, but why?


Yes.

What you are defining is an open marriage. So in essence that is what you are really asking about.


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## StargateFan

Starstarfish said:


> Also - if the masseuse had been a man - would you have considered the happy ending as a part of the massage - or would you have freaked out? Would you have let him continue without saying something?


Great point. I would have a problem with that. Shows how I could think it was not a sexual connection, but it really is.


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## StargateFan

Mr.PotentialFulfilled said:


> People, I really was not looking to be mocked because of what I did. I know I screwed up. There is no need to mock me.


You may not need to be mocked, but you stuck your neck out there. So did I with my previous post. If someone finds something goofy with what I said I deserve it. I think they have already.

Your a man, you can take it.


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## Dad&Hubby

Okay, OP, it's time to come clean.

1. You go to a parlor. You know it's a parlor. You know what happens and you've done this before. This isn't your first HJ. Be honest. You're looking for a way to deal with the guilt you've built up...BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG

2. I'm a man who does get massages as well. Probably 3-4 per year, in fact my wife got me a gift card for my masseuse for Christmas. My masseuse is a very attractive young woman who is a licensed (nationally) therapist with many expertises (thai, deep tissue, cupping, hot stone etc). I get deep tissue when my muscles are REALLY bad, and thai when they're not because thai actually helps me more long term.

My wife goes to the same masseuse. She's a professional. I wear my underwear under the sheets/blankets and the masseuse has never seen my underwear (I wear box briefs) because there's NO REASON to go that far up.

If a man goes to a "parlor" then he's going for one reason. Sorry why go to a woman who has ZERO skill in massage compared to a trained licensed professional..oh I know.

Come clean about your full history on this issue. Tell your wife. And PRAY she'll keep a lieing cheating man around. PS Also CHANGE. Stop going to parlors if you "really need a massage". Get a REAL massage and you might find your attitude is different. Especially when you have some bruises afterwards on your pecs because your shoulders are in such bad shape and the masseuse KNOWS how to fix things.


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## KanDo

Although not really on topic, it is not that easy to tell what is available at apparently legit places. I know of licenced (LMTs) that have offerred "extras" to clients......


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## coupdegrace

Mr.PotentialFulfilled said:


> I got a happy ending at the end of a massage today. I didn't plan on it. I feel very guilty that I allowed it. I can never confess it to my wife.
> 
> I really need massages. They heal my nervous disposition.


My only question is how did you let it get to the point of a happy ending? 

After the initial massage, did she ask you if you wanted more? I'm trying to understand the process here.

I have several friends that frequented parlors that specialized in happy endings. They tried to get me to come along with them, but I was afraid of getting an STD.


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## Deejo

Mr.PotentialFulfilled said:


> I got a happy ending at the end of a massage today. I didn't plan on it. I feel very guilty that I allowed it. I can never confess it to my wife.
> 
> I really need massages. They heal my nervous disposition.


Then live with the guilt.

Find a new 'spa'.

Don't let it accidentally happen ever again.

That's about as kind as the feedback is going to get.


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