# Not an alcoholic but



## gbrad

I know I have been drinking more than I would probably prefer. I come home and have a drink. Then you want to maintain that feeling so you have another drink or two. Any tricks to having just one? I don't mind having 2 or 3 on some nights during the week. But other nights I would rather have just 1 and get some other things done. On nights where I know I have something I have to do I can get myself to avoid it altogether. That is not an issue. But the whole, one and then another thing, that is harder.


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## Mavash.

Wait later to have the ONE drink then you won't need to 'maintain' the feeling it will be time to go to bed.

Make a deal with yourself to get things done FIRST then have the ONE drink....later closer to bedtime.

Find some other way to unwind after work or something else to do that doesn't involve booze.

Basically you're going to have to find a replacement for this habit for it to work. You're stuck in come home and have a few drinks mode. Another thing is locate the trigger. Do you watch tv? Sit in a favorite chair? Go straight to the fridge? See a lot of what we do each day is robotic, auto pilot so the cure is to mindfully do something different.


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## gbrad

Those are good ideas. Part of it is coming home to a house alone and it can be a while before the wife gets home. I have a couple drinks before she gets home. That is usually how it works. But I should try to force myself to do those things I need to do before having the drink. Make the drink the reward for accomplishing those things instead of the stress reliever as soon as I walk in the door.


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## that_girl

Don't drink for a while and see if you need it.


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## gbrad

that_girl said:


> Don't drink for a while and see if you need it.


I have had times in recent weeks where I have gone 4 or 5 days for different reasons without a drink. So I know I don't need it. But on a regular day, I do want it.


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## Jamison

There is a difference between alcohol abuse and alcohol dependance, you likely fall into one of those categories. Google it to see the difference. You may not be a full blown alcoholic but sounds like there could be a drinking issue on the rise. Wanting it, may be worse than needing it. Good luck.


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## DumpedAgain

In 1989 after a long progression into alchoholism I finally gave up, went to re-hab (3rd time) and got my life together

No one but you can figure out if you are a heavy drinker or an
honest to God Alcoholic. I spent many years as a heavy drinker

Bargaining with myself all along (don't drink before 5, no hard liquor etc) as time went on I fudged on my rules more and more until it all collapsed

i am recently separated, looks like it could be the big D. That
has made me actually crave alcohol for the first time in 20+
years.

But, I knew what to do. I found a mens AA meeting (90% are divorced) and started going, keeps me from craving the demon rum and I am making friends

If you are concerned about drinking, it doesn't have to be AA
(it's hard to walk in those doors) talk to a counselor. 

If we depend on booze to get thru life, it ain't the booze, it's
our unbalanced lives that are the problem


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## YupItsMe

Cut it out like a cancer. Drop it altogether and substitute something else like working out or walking. You mentioned coming home to an empty house. Go to the park, gym, or walk instead and form new habits. I always give up anything I start craving. I quit energy drinks about 6 weeks ago after I started craving them daily. Im not going to be held hostage to any substance. If you want to be in control of yourself, assert control and move on.


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## Mavash.

gbrad said:


> Part of it is coming home to a house alone and it can be a while before the wife gets home. I have a couple drinks before she gets home. That is usually how it works. But I should try to force myself to do those things I need to do before having the drink. Make the drink the reward for accomplishing those things instead of the stress reliever as soon as I walk in the door.


My husband takes a nap when he comes home for work. Yep crawls into bed and sleeps for an hour. When he gets up he's raring to go on those projects. Can you find other stress relievers? Go to the gym after work? Something?

BTW "forcing" yourself to do anything rarely works. Willpower is a short term solution. You need to negotiate with the part of you that wants to drink. Find out WHY it wants the alcohol. Is it lonely? Bored? Stressed? Upset? In pain? Bad habit? Offer up other alternatives besides booze.

I say this because my drug of choice is food. I'm an emotional eater and these are things I did to beat my 'addiction'. I learned my problems won't be solved with sugar but I still eat it from time to time. It's about moderation now not anxiety.


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## Shaggy

Also limit the supply at home. Of buy stuff you hate so you won't want to drnk it but make a rule that it must be drank before you can get more

I have this rule with any beer I buy at home. I like to grab different unique brews but they must be drank before anything new is allowed. 

Btw dont switch to soda or coffee they come with their own big problems Ie en the diet ones

The other thing is to choose drinks with lower alcohol content
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## joe kidd

I buy a 6pk to last the entire week. If I drink all 6 at once then I go without until the next week.


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## Ignis

How to know if this is an addiction? If you can not resist it even though you want it, that means you are addicted.

What kind of feelings you want to melt with an alcohol? Why you want to manipulate your state of mind?

Ask yourself these questions and with Gods help you will start to sink deeper to know more about yourself.

I suggest you to read this article: Living with an alcoholic


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## Tigger

I would say give it up completely. I find it hard to understand all the money that is wasted on vices.

Go to the gym or meditate for an hour instead.


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## that_girl

Just had a talk with my estranged husband last night about his drinking problem. His alcoholism.

He's highly functional...meaning he goes to work, gets his crap done...but it strains our life and his relationship with the kids.

And he can't go without.

It's out in the open now. We'll see what he does with that knowledge of having an issue.


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## gbrad

I have to say, those who are recommending that I just give up drinking completely, that is not an option that is going to happen. There are times when drinking in a social setting is just a fun experience and there are times when having a drink just takes the edge off of a stressful situation. I don't like the idea of having to give that up completely. While I do want to curb my drinking as a whole, I don't want to abandon it. I like the idea of coming home and immersing myself directly into something else, the hard part is making myself do that instead of sitting down and relaxing with a drink first thing. Today, 2 drinks in with a shot poured as well. Haven't had the shot yet though. It would just be so much easier if I wasn't home by myself so much.


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## Mavash.

gbrad said:


> I like the idea of coming home and immersing myself directly into something else, the hard part is making myself do that instead of sitting down and relaxing with a drink first thing. Today, 2 drinks in with a shot poured as well. Haven't had the shot yet though. It would just be so much easier if I wasn't home by myself so much.


First you need to acknowledge that there is a part of you that doesn't want to cut back. If you did you would. I know this is a bitter pill to swallow but trust me it's true.

3 things are necessary to break bad habits. Knowledge as to why (health, have other things to do), skills as to how (find something else to do, replace it with something else) and lastly you must WANT it.

For me it's that last thing that gets me stuck. Until I want to break a bad habit it's not happening. The only other caveat is if you're addicted and if you are that makes this even more challenging almost impossible sometimes.


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## Freak On a Leash

DumpedAgain said:


> In 1989 after a long progression into alchoholism I finally gave up, went to re-hab (3rd time) and got my life together
> 
> No one but you can figure out if you are a heavy drinker or an
> honest to God Alcoholic. I spent many years as a heavy drinker
> 
> Bargaining with myself all along (don't drink before 5, no hard liquor etc) as time went on I fudged on my rules more and more until it all collapsed
> 
> i am recently separated, looks like it could be the big D. That
> has made me actually crave alcohol for the first time in 20+
> years.
> 
> But, I knew what to do. I found a mens AA meeting (90% are divorced) and started going, keeps me from craving the demon rum and I am making friends
> 
> If you are concerned about drinking, it doesn't have to be AA
> (it's hard to walk in those doors) talk to a counselor.
> 
> If we depend on booze to get thru life, it ain't the booze, it's
> our unbalanced lives that are the problem


For the past 3 years my STBXH was on the roller coaster ride of drinking, then stopping, rehab, detox, etc. Now after the 4th time around he's finally going to AA, sometimes twice a day. He says it helps a lot. I'm not surprised 90% of the men are divorce and I'm willing to bet the remaining 10% are headed in that direction. 

I hope my STBXH can stay sober, not only for himself but for our son too. Our son is all he has left. He has managed to completely alienate our daughter and I've filed for divorce. He's broke, he's unemployed and telling me that he might not have a place to live soon. 

3 years ago he had a family, a business and had inherited a sizeable amount of money, all of which he lost. Why is it all gone now? Because of alcohol. 

I don't know if he thinks it was worth it but I'd say it wasn't. I like to drink as much as anyone and believe me, there are drinkers and there are alcoholics and if you are an alcoholic then you'd better stop drinking because there's no happy ending for you.


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## RandomDude

You don't sound like an alcoholic, why do you think it's a problem?

I quit cold turkey for a while as I was an alcoholic, now I just drink socially and on occasion unless I'm driving instead of hiring a cab like every few months. I just stopped buying booze to take home. If you do want to cut down though, buy beer, NOT the good stuff though (cause you'll go through a 6 pack and go "sh-t, I just bought it today" - what normally happened to me)

I no longer feel the cravings or need booze to unwind. But to reach that stage I had to quit cold turkey so that I could adjust my lifestyle accordingly - lifestyle and habit is what makes any addiction difficult to quit.


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## joe kidd

gbrad said:


> I have to say, those who are recommending that I just give up drinking completely, that is not an option that is going to happen. There are times when drinking in a social setting is just a fun experience and there are times when having a drink just takes the edge off of a stressful situation. I don't like the idea of having to give that up completely. While I do want to curb my drinking as a whole, I don't want to abandon it. I like the idea of coming home and immersing myself directly into something else, the hard part is making myself do that instead of sitting down and relaxing with a drink first thing. Today, 2 drinks in with a shot poured as well. Haven't had the shot yet though. It would just be so much easier if I wasn't home by myself so much.


Sounds like you drink out of boredom. I know the feeling. "nothing to do so I might as well kill those beers in the fridge". 
I like to drink. I just don't drink as much anymore.


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## debster

We are on a tight budget and consequently have cut back on alcohol (no weeknight drinking at all). The less I drink the less I miss it. I only have a beer on Fri night and a couple of glasses of wine on Sat night and currently I have given it all up for lent. My husband drinks a little more on weekends from his stockpile of red wine, but once that's gone, I'm not giving him any money to buy more! 

However, prior to this, there was a point that we were drinking entirely too much during the week, and I had already cut back by stopping on Mon - Wed. I also stuck to a rule of max 2 glasses.

As other posters have stated, you need a motivation with greater pull than the alcohol has. I sense that you are a bit concerned that you may be developing a problem, but are not ready to admit (yet) that it may be more serious. If you can't establish your ground rules when sober, and stick to them, when slightly buzzed, then that, my friend, is your crux of the problem. Now what do you want to do about it? :scratchhead:


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## Ignis

RandomDude said:


> I no longer feel the cravings or need booze to unwind. But to reach that stage I had to quit cold turkey so that I could adjust my lifestyle accordingly - lifestyle and habit is what makes any addiction difficult to quit.


Well said. I would add also that the main thing why we are addicted is GUILT. Guilt is an engine that runs all addictions...


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## gbrad

Mavash. said:


> First you need to acknowledge that there is a part of you that doesn't want to cut back. If you did you would. I know this is a bitter pill to swallow but trust me it's true.
> 
> 3 things are necessary to break bad habits. Knowledge as to why (health, have other things to do), skills as to how (find something else to do, replace it with something else) and lastly you must WANT it.
> 
> For me it's that last thing that gets me stuck. Until I want to break a bad habit it's not happening. The only other caveat is if you're addicted and if you are that makes this even more challenging almost impossible sometimes.


*You are right that there is a part of me that does not want to quit drinking. I want to cut back, but not quit. I enjoy drinking, I just want to do it less. I do want to break the bad habit as you say. But at the same time, it feels good and is difficult. Once you have one drink, you want to have another. *



joe kidd said:


> Sounds like you drink out of boredom. I know the feeling. "nothing to do so I might as well kill those beers in the fridge".
> I like to drink. I just don't drink as much anymore.


Boredom could be part of it. But I do have things I need to do and want to do instead of just drinking. Its almost just like a rut that I have gotten into. 



Ignis said:


> Well said. I would add also that the main thing why we are addicted is GUILT. Guilt is an engine that runs all addictions...


Not sure how guilt comes into play.


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## Mavash.

gbrad said:


> You are right that there is a part of me that does not want to quit drinking. I want to cut back, but not quit. I enjoy drinking, I just want to do it less. I do want to break the bad habit as you say. But at the same time, it feels good and is difficult. Once you have one drink, you want to have another.


Okay so "part" of you doesn't want to cut back. 

I know this will sound like psychobabble but hear me out. Until you acknowledge that part of you that WANTS to keep drinking it will be difficult to cut back. 

Step back from yourself mentally and pretend to talk to that 'part' of you that wants to keep drinking. Ask it to tell you all about why it wants to keep drinking. Ask it why it can't stop at one. Have a discussion with that part of you and appeal to it. See if you can reason with it and get it to work or compromise with you. BTW this is from internal family systems therapy. 

Fascinating therapy and it's highly effective if done correctly.

Internal Family Systems Model - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## Ametista

We realized over the years that we had begun drinking more and more. So we switched to lighter and lighter beers. I know it sounds awful but after a while a Miller light (.42 oz alcohol) wasn't bad. Now we never have more than a couple MLs and that's less than one technical drink.


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## brightlight

You don't have to give it up all together.

But insisting that you have one drink a day is shaky ground. That one will often lead to another. I have had the same problem. Being something of a functioning alcoholic.

I didn't _need_ the one drink. I had it because subconsciously it was a good excuse to have more than one. As soon as I mellowed out after one drink I thought "what the heck, a few more won't hurt".

Try and give it up during the week. Or not drink at home. Or not drink alone.

You will get more done in the long run. 

I used to waste a lot of time being hungover. It's shocking to think how much actually.


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## gbrad

brightlight said:


> You don't have to give it up all together.
> 
> But insisting that you have one drink a day is shaky ground. That one will often lead to another. I have had the same problem. Being something of a functioning alcoholic.
> 
> I didn't _need_ the one drink. I had it because subconsciously it was a good excuse to have more than one. As soon as I mellowed out after one drink I thought "what the heck, a few more won't hurt".
> 
> Try and give it up during the week. Or not drink at home. Or not drink alone.
> 
> You will get more done in the long run.
> 
> I used to waste a lot of time being hungover. It's shocking to think how much actually.


Not drink at home and not drink alone. Huh, that is primarily the times that I do. But you are right that it is too easy to have another after that first one.


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## 41362

Instead of coming home to an empty house where the temptation is great:
Hit the gym
Take a walk 
Run


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## DumpedAgain

No one can tell you that you are an addicted to anything

The decision to deal with addiction only happens when
the pain of the addiction is more than you can stand

Alcohol is a wonderful substance, it is also the most abused
drug in the world and causes incredible pain for millions

"Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems"

Homer Simpson


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## gbrad

Well I told myself nothing to drink today. And that didn't work out as planned. I did good for most of the day and didn't have anything to drink even when I had an urge to pour something, but now I have a couple drinks in me.


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## Chris Taylor

First, I suggest you read this book:

Take Control of Your Drinking...And You May Not Need to Quit 

This will help you determine whether cutting back is right for you or whether you really need to quit.

In the meantime, change up your habits. Go for a walk when you get home (or go to the gym, etc...). Eat something immediately when you get home. Have celery or carrot sticks... anything to have in your hand.

Try to have your full dinner before having your first drink. try drinking a couple of glasses of water immediately when you get home.

Put your booze in the garage (unless you park in your garage, then put it in your cellar). Anything that requires a few more steps to get it.

But finally, think of why you need that drink. What is going on that you can't address, or need to hide from, or try to avoid?

Stopping or cutting back isn't a one-step solution. try them all.


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## naga75

joe kidd said:


> Sounds like you drink out of boredom. I know the feeling. "nothing to do so I might as well kill those beers in the fridge".
> I like to drink. I just don't drink as much anymore.


thats where im at.
dont drink anything like i did a couple years ago. night and day difference.


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## NCC-1701

Honesty is the key.

Answer YES or NO to the following questions.

1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.)
Yes No

2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to.
Yes No

3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink ****tails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually.
Yes No

4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially."
Yes No

5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who really can take it or leave it.
Yes No

6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking.
Yes No

7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime.
Yes No

8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more.
Yes No

9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
Yes No

10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk.
Yes No

11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking.
Yes No

12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Yes No





Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A. have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves — the hard way. But again, only you can decide whether you think A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to show you how we stopped drinking ourselves. Just call. A.A. does not promise to solve your life's problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without drinking "one day at a time." We stay away from that "first drink." If there is no first one, there cannot be a tenth one. And when we got rid of alcohol, we found that life became much more manageable.


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## gbrad

NCC-1701 said:


> Honesty is the key.
> 
> Answer YES or NO to the following questions.
> 
> 1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
> Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.)
> Yes No*yes*
> 
> 2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
> In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to.
> Yes No *no*
> 
> 3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
> We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink ****tails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually.
> Yes No *yes sort of*
> 
> 4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
> Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially."
> Yes No *no*
> 
> 5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
> At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who really can take it or leave it.
> Yes No *no*
> 
> 6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
> Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking.
> Yes No *no*
> 
> 7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
> Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime.
> Yes No *no*
> 
> 8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
> Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more.
> Yes No *no*
> 
> 9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
> Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
> Yes No *on occassion*
> 
> 10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
> Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk.
> Yes No *nope*
> 
> 11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
> A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking.
> Yes No *never*
> 
> 12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
> Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired.
> Yes No *no*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Did you answer YES four or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with alcohol. Why do we say this? Because thousands of people in A.A. have said so for many years. They found out the truth about themselves — the hard way. But again, only you can decide whether you think A.A. is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to show you how we stopped drinking ourselves. Just call. A.A. does not promise to solve your life's problems. But we can show you how we are learning to live without drinking "one day at a time." We stay away from that "first drink." If there is no first one, there cannot be a tenth one. And when we got rid of alcohol, we found that life became much more manageable.


Interesting to think about though and keep in perspective


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## couple

Start to drink later in the day. Having a drink when you get home from work is too early because you have 3 potential drinking periods in front of you - alone before your wife gets home, dinner, after dinner. Make drinking before your wife gets home just something that you will not do.

Drink tea or coffee prior to your first drink.

Don't drink hard liquor at home. why? It's easier to fool yourself when you drink off a big bottle of booze. If you were having a bottle and a half of wine or several beers per night, you would notice and your wife would notice. With hard drinks, you can drink a lot and it's not as noticeable as a problem.

Take nights off. Make it a point to skip days of drinking. Experts say that this is important for health too - gives body time to recover.


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## 41362

I could have a problem with alcohol if I didn't stay two steps ahead. I allow myself two beers a night if:

I hit the gym for three circuits of upper body
or
I put in a run of no less than three miles

Even then it has to be after 930 at night, the kids are in bed, and everything is done for the next day.

Right now I'm training for a half marathon so it has become two beers every other, or every third night. 

I bought that beer- I own it, it does not own me.


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## gbrad

couple said:


> Start to drink later in the day. Having a drink when you get home from work is too early because you have 3 potential drinking periods in front of you - alone before your wife gets home, dinner, after dinner. Make drinking before your wife gets home just something that you will not do.
> 
> Drink tea or coffee prior to your first drink.
> 
> Don't drink hard liquor at home. why? It's easier to fool yourself when you drink off a big bottle of booze. If you were having a bottle and a half of wine or several beers per night, you would notice and your wife would notice. With hard drinks, you can drink a lot and it's not as noticeable as a problem.
> 
> Take nights off. Make it a point to skip days of drinking. Experts say that this is important for health too - gives body time to recover.


I really like the first idea. Making myself wait until later at night. It is just hard to do that sometimes. It is just so easy to come home, pour and drink and relax. 
Then the no hard liqour at home, I think that is going to far. That is mostly what I drink at home. It is cheaper that way and I like it better. Beer is fine on occasion though.


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## Wiserforit

gbrad said:


> Any tricks to having just one?


Nope. If you are the kind of person who can stop at one, go ahead and have one.

Otherwise, don't take the first drink. That's worked 24 years for me.


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## gbrad

Did good about waiting to have a drink until after dinner today. Then had two, but nothing hard.


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## couple

gbrad said:


> I really like the first idea. Making myself wait until later at night. It is just hard to do that sometimes. It is just so easy to come home, pour and drink and relax.
> Then the no hard liqour at home, I think that is going to far. That is mostly what I drink at home. It is cheaper that way and I like it better. Beer is fine on occasion though.


i hear what you are saying about the hard stuff but it's much easier for it to sneak up on you. Your drinks can get stronger and stronger and it's easier for you to avoid facing up to problem drinking. You can have 'only' 2 or 3 drinks and feel like you are just drinking 'a bit too much' rather than it being a real problem. if you are pouring stronger and stronger, these 3 drinks might be more like downing a 6 pack or more. if you were downing a 6 pack every night, you and your wife would see the problem in a more dramatic way.

Good luck. I sense that you see the need for change but you are not very willing to change anything or feel that you can't change anything. this should be telling you something.


----------



## gbrad

couple said:


> i hear what you are saying about the hard stuff but it's much easier for it to sneak up on you. Your drinks can get stronger and stronger and it's easier for you to avoid facing up to problem drinking. You can have 'only' 2 or 3 drinks and feel like you are just drinking 'a bit too much' rather than it being a real problem. if you are pouring stronger and stronger, these 3 drinks might be more like downing a 6 pack or more. if you were downing a 6 pack every night, you and your wife would see the problem in a more dramatic way.
> 
> Good luck. I sense that you see the need for change but you are not very willing to change anything or feel that you can't change anything. this should be telling you something.


I think I can change and have been trying to adjust some things. This past week I actually had 2 nights where I didn't have a drink at all. And I only had 1 night where I had "too much". though last night I ended up having about 4 drinks and I did wait until lunchtime today to pour a drink at home.


----------



## gbrad

I don't know what I did those nights instead. I think I just had a lot to do and didn't have time for a drink.


----------



## eyuop

gbrad said:


> I have to say, those who are recommending that I just give up drinking completely, that is not an option that is going to happen. There are times when drinking in a social setting is just a fun experience and there are times when having a drink just takes the edge off of a stressful situation. I don't like the idea of having to give that up completely. While I do want to curb my drinking as a whole, I don't want to abandon it. I like the idea of coming home and immersing myself directly into something else, the hard part is making myself do that instead of sitting down and relaxing with a drink first thing. Today, 2 drinks in with a shot poured as well. Haven't had the shot yet though. It would just be so much easier if I wasn't home by myself so much.


If it isn't an option, then you are on the road to being an alcoholic. I know. I've seen it time and time again. You are playing the justification games that everyone plays. A person doesn't just wake up one day and start being an alcoholic. They slide into it and one day they realize they are an alcoholic. 

I have never abused alcohol (never been drunk before in my life). I only drink occasionally. My rule has always been to never have more to drink than what would be legal for me to drive. That way I don't ever get "buzzed" and I don't have to ever worry about a DUI. I mostly will have a glass of wine with a meal if I drink at all. But I purposefully go weeks or even months without having one drink. I'm actually one of the very few people I know who can drink alcoholic beverages with complete freedom and not abuse alcohol, since I've never abused it. But I am willing to bet that anyone who has already abused it (gets wasted often or has had a dependency issues) will find it very difficult to do what I do and not slide back into their alcohol abuse or dependency.

I am now going to dare you to do what I do. If you can't, you are alcohol dependent or you are an alcoholic. Either way, you should get help and you need to quit or things are going to get worse in the booze department. You think you can handle things now and you seem all confident. But I've seen so many confident guys behind bars!


----------



## gbrad

eyuop said:


> If it isn't an option, then you are on the road to being an alcoholic. I know. I've seen it time and time again. You are playing the justification games that everyone plays. A person doesn't just wake up one day and start being an alcoholic. They slide into it and one day they realize they are an alcoholic.
> 
> I have never abused alcohol (never been drunk before in my life). I only drink occasionally. My rule has always been to never have more to drink than what would be legal for me to drive. That way I don't ever get "buzzed" and I don't have to ever worry about a DUI. I mostly will have a glass of wine with a meal if I drink at all. But I purposefully go weeks or even months without having one drink. I'm actually one of the very few people I know who can drink alcoholic beverages with complete freedom and not abuse alcohol, since I've never abused it. But I am willing to bet that anyone who has already abused it (gets wasted often or has had a dependency issues) will find it very difficult to do what I do and not slide back into their alcohol abuse or dependency.
> 
> I am now going to dare you to do what I do. If you can't, you are alcohol dependent or you are an alcoholic. Either way, you should get help and you need to quit or things are going to get worse in the booze department. You think you can handle things now and you seem all confident. But I've seen so many confident guys behind bars!


You drink so that you never get buzzed. I don't understand what the reason is that you drink at all then. If you don't even get a buzz, what are you getting out of it? Getting the so called "buzz" helps to relax the body, remove the element of stress, and help you to avoid some aspects of reality. The relaxing part to me is the most important. Sometimes when you get home from a stressful day and you are facing a stressful situation at home, a quick drink or two helps to not focus on those stressful things.


----------



## blackeugene

It's a habit ... for now, but once you do it daily and for a long period of time, it becomes an addiction so I would test myself into not drinking for an entire month, just to see if I crave for drinking.

Take care


----------



## gbrad

blackeugene said:


> It's a habit ... for now, but once you do it daily and for a long period of time, it becomes an addiction so I would test myself into not drinking for an entire month, just to see if I crave for drinking.
> 
> Take care


With as stressful as life can be at times, I don't see a month as a real possibility.


----------



## MrClean

Do you eat as soon as you get home? 

I always mistook wanting to have a "drink" for thirst and hunger.


----------



## MrClean

Hello?


----------



## cheburg123

Funny I stumbled on this thread. I just packed all my alcohol in my car to leave in the stock room at work.

Before divorce started I used to put kids to bed and get out ****tail book and make a new ****tail every night (not every night but 4-5 nights a week)

It was fun and most of the time I was in bed by 11 and not really drunk. Wife never indicated it was an issue with her. On occasion I would go overboard and she'd say "you are drunk, leave me alone" but it was mostly in good humor. Alcohol not issue with divorce. Or if it was nobody ever brought the subject up. 

Since starting divorce process and moving into my own house I am uncomfortable with my habits.

On date nights I usually have a drinks. If we stay in and cook, we drink. Gf isn't raging drunk but isn't the best influence either. But I'm not blaming her, it is just hard to not have one with it's sitting there open on the table.

On nights I have kids I will wait until everyone is home and tucked in or at least homework is done and baths are done. Never drink knowing I have to pick up kids.

On home alone nights it starts earlier. I will sit in chair in front of TV or play on computer and have too many. It also causes me to over eat and I then don't do quality things like exercise or read.

It really messes up my sleep. Drinking and sleeping like crap 4-5 nights a week is bad.

I can go several nights without as long as I keep busy or have entertainment.

I'm going to try 90 days of no alcohol. Weather is nice, I can walk around the block a few times to replace drinking on most nights. There are a few situations I will avoid and a few people I will tell what I am doing for a bit of support.

Thoughts?


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## gbrad

I went all weekend without a drink, so it shows that I can, it is just a matter of making the choice to do so.


----------



## eyuop

gbrad said:


> I went all weekend without a drink, so it shows that I can, it is just a matter of making the choice to do so.


Good. I challenge you to try a week, and then a month. I know an alcoholic who can do without for a weekend no problem. A week of abstinence is super hard for him. A month? Can't do it.

By the way, you asked me about why I would even drink if not for the "buzz". Why drink soda pop? Juice? Milk?  Or any other beverage besides water? Like all of these other beverages, I only drink them for the purpose of actually enjoying the drink -- the taste and how it accompanies the food I'm eating. The alcohol in an alcoholic beverage is a flavor enhancer for foods (it brings out flavors through what is known as pallet contrast). Many people (more common in Europe) who drink wine with their meals, pair their wines with the food they are eating for this reason. There are millions of people who drink alcoholic beverages simply for their flavor and how it enhances their food -- and they never get buzzed or drunk.

I'll warn you that I have met very few people who have formerly used alcoholic beverages to medicate themselves (get buzzed, relieve stress, etc.) who can then begin to use alcoholic beverages in moderation as simply a nice accompaniment with their dinner.


----------



## MrClean

*Re: Re: Not an alcoholic but*



MrClean said:


> Do you eat as soon as you get home?
> 
> I always mistook wanting to have a "drink" for thirst and hunger.


I guess I will quote myself since my question got passed up.


----------



## gbrad

eyuop said:


> Good. I challenge you to try a week, and then a month. I know an alcoholic who can do without for a weekend no problem. A week of abstinence is super hard for him. A month? Can't do it.
> 
> By the way, you asked me about why I would even drink if not for the "buzz". Why drink soda pop? Juice? Milk? Or any other beverage besides water? Like all of these other beverages, I only drink them for the purpose of actually enjoying the drink -- the taste and how it accompanies the food I'm eating. The alcohol in an alcoholic beverage is a flavor enhancer for foods (it brings out flavors through what is known as pallet contrast). Many people (more common in Europe) who drink wine with their meals, pair their wines with the food they are eating for this reason. There are millions of people who drink alcoholic beverages simply for their flavor and how it enhances their food -- and they never get buzzed or drunk.
> 
> I'll warn you that I have met very few people who have formerly used alcoholic beverages to medicate themselves (get buzzed, relieve stress, etc.) who can then begin to use alcoholic beverages in moderation as simply a nice accompaniment with their dinner.


I understand that some alcoholic drinks go well with certain foods. I also choose to drink alcoholic beverages that I like the taste of. But I like the taste of some sodas, juices, and water as well. To me, the reason to go for the alcoholic beverage is purely to relieve stress and/or relax. It can help melt worries away, it can enable one to relax and have a good time. That is the purpose of an alcoholic drink. I will probably get to a week without a drink. But a month, I don't see a need to do that. 



MrClean said:


> I guess I will quote myself since my question got passed up.


Yes I do eat when I get home. But I don't have the drink because I am thirsty or hungry. I usually have a drink with food. I have the drink to relax.


----------



## MrClean

Sober 17 months now. I am not an alcoholic either just like you. I learned to relax with a glass of tea or two when I got home. Made me way more productive. Wife likes me a little more. Neighbors and kids friends parents have more respect for me now. Kids were too young to know the difference at 7 and 8. Still play poker with my drinking buddies... It was the hardest on them but they respect my no "thank you" now. Took a while. I have never told anyone that I am an alcoholic but instead that I just don't drink. When I don't want pressure to drink in that so-called social setting I just grab a coke. There is NO setting that requires drinking (your wrong). I actually enjoy parties more now because I can remember all the stupid **** that one drunk guy did. Try it!


----------



## eyuop

MrClean said:


> Sober 17 months now. I am not an alcoholic either just like you. I learned to relax with a glass of tea or two when I got home. Made me way more productive. Wife likes me a little more. Neighbors and kids friends parents have more respect for me now. Kids were too young to know the difference at 7 and 8. Still play poker with my drinking buddies... It was the hardest on them but they respect my no "thank you" now. Took a while. I have never told anyone that I am an alcoholic but instead that I just don't drink. When I don't want pressure to drink in that so-called social setting I just grab a coke. There is NO setting that requires drinking (your wrong). I actually enjoy parties more now because I can remember all the stupid **** that one drunk guy did. Try it!


This is a great post. :iagree: 
That feeling of just needing a drink to "relax" is simply the slide into alcoholism. Same as needing to smoke to relax, or do drugs to relax. It is not the desire to relax that is the problem, nor is it the use of a legal substance. It is more about self-control -- simply not allowing any substance to rule over you. It is a great feeling when you are able to truly be in control of what you are doing and make choices that lead to better health and deeper relationships. And like you said, you can hear all of the "drunk confessions" at parties and stack up a nice list of blackmail items .


----------



## gbrad

eyuop said:


> This is a great post. :iagree:
> That feeling of just needing a drink to "relax" is simply the slide into alcoholism. Same as needing to smoke to relax, or do drugs to relax. It is not the desire to relax that is the problem, nor is it the use of a legal substance. It is more about self-control -- simply not allowing any substance to rule over you. It is a great feeling when you are able to truly be in control of what you are doing and make choices that lead to better health and deeper relationships. And like you said, you can hear all of the "drunk confessions" at parties and stack up a nice list of blackmail items .


I agree that you shouldn't NEED alcohol to relax, but I think it is okay if it is ONE of the ways you relax. There is a difference. As for the comment about using drunk confessions from parties as blackmail, I really hope that was meant as a joke.


----------



## eyuop

gbrad said:


> I agree that you shouldn't NEED alcohol to relax, but I think it is okay if it is ONE of the ways you relax. There is a difference. As for the comment about using drunk confessions from parties as blackmail, I really hope that was meant as a joke.


That is why I put a smiley. I actually don't even party, so it was completely a joke. 

You will only find out if you want or need alcohol to relax if you go without it for month or two. If the craving is very strong to overwhelming, you need it to relax -- which is a problem whether you are ready to admit it or not.

Just my opinion. I have alcoholic family members and I had an alcoholic dad (who is no longer on earth) who started out supposedly just needing a drink to relax. Alcohol is habit forming if it is used at all to medicate (e.g. to relax). It is a drug, after all.


----------



## diwali123

Then don't go home if you can't deal with the loneliness. Go do something until she gets home.


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## eyuop

diwali123 said:


> Then don't go home if you can't deal with the loneliness. Go do something until she gets home.


Great idea! 
:smthumbup:


----------



## gbrad

eyuop said:


> That is why I put a smiley. I actually don't even party, so it was completely a joke.
> 
> You will only find out if you want or need alcohol to relax if you go without it for month or two. If the craving is very strong to overwhelming, you need it to relax -- which is a problem whether you are ready to admit it or not.
> 
> Just my opinion. I have alcoholic family members and I had an alcoholic dad (who is no longer on earth) who started out supposedly just needing a drink to relax. Alcohol is habit forming if it is used at all to medicate (e.g. to relax). It is a drug, after all.


Yes it can be habit forming, if one uses it too much. Everything in moderation. I see nothing wrong with occasionally using it to relax. If it is the only way that one can relax, then that is a problem.


----------



## MrClean

*Re: Re: Not an alcoholic but*



gbrad said:


> I agree that you shouldn't NEED alcohol to relax, but I think it is okay if it is ONE of the ways you relax.


For you to be on a forum with a thread named "Not an alcoholic but..." is a sign that perhaps you using alcohol is a not a good idea. The idea of moderation goes out the door once you catch that buzz. You are questioning yourself of your need for it, so stop while you are ahead. Make yourself proud! Don't want to get hell from your colleagues or friends? Who cares! The true friends will stick by you and be proud of you. Just don't buy anymore. It is simple. I quit cold turkey. I actually now keep alcohol in the house for guests and not even one time has it ever crossed my mind to have a drink.

Going a whole weekend without a drink is easy. When you can go a weekend without wanting or thinking about one then you are getting some where.

You don't have to be an alcoholic to stop drinking.

Does your wife drink?


----------



## gbrad

MrClean said:


> For you to be on a forum with a thread named "Not an alcoholic but..." is a sign that perhaps you using alcohol is a not a good idea. The idea of moderation goes out the door once you catch that buzz. You are questioning yourself of your need for it, so stop while you are ahead. Make yourself proud! Don't want to get hell from your colleagues or friends? Who cares! The true friends will stick by you and be proud of you. Just don't buy anymore. It is simple. I quit cold turkey. I actually now keep alcohol in the house for guests and not even one time has it ever crossed my mind to have a drink.
> 
> Going a whole weekend without a drink is easy. When you can go a weekend without wanting or thinking about one then you are getting some where.
> 
> You don't have to be an alcoholic to stop drinking.
> 
> Does your wife drink?


The point of my thread was to help myself be able to drink, just not drink too much. 
My wife drinks occasionally


----------



## Trickster

Gbrad---

I think I drink like you do. Many years back...over 20 years ago, I stopped cold turkey and went to A.A. I enjoyed going, I made some friends, and it kept me busy so I didn't have time to drink. I guess I got the "7 year itch" because I started to drink again. For 8 or so more years, I was able to have just one drink at a restraunt with my wife. All seemed fine.

Then I went through a real crazy stressful time. It built up over time. My dad passed away as well as two of my brothers and much much more. 

I started to keep wine at home. Which for me was a problem. I can't stop at just one glass of wine. I proved I can go days, weeks months and even years without alcohol and I convince myself AND OTHERS that I am not an alcoholic. 

So a while back I told my wife I thought I was an alcoholic. She laughed a little and told me I wasn't. To paraphrase what she said..

" how can you be an alcoholic?... You work hard, you never drink during the day, even if you drink a bottle of wine, it's over the course of the evening and you don't seem drunk. You wake up without an alarm clock. Your not angry or violent when you drink. You make more money now more than ever before. You work hard, you've earned it...I can go on..."


Being that my wife doesn't drink at all, I would think that she would be the first to tell me to stop. or say something like ...I like it better when you don't drink.

I still started to go to meetings again. for 6 months or so. My wife would rather me be home in the evenings instead of going to meetings, even if I drink a few glasses of wine. I think that I am such a high functiong alcoholic, I can easily hide it from others as well as myself. Most people I socialize with don't believe I am an alcoholic either...I don't get it.

YOU are the only one that knows if there is a problem involving alcohol... 

Even though I know in my gut the I have a problem with alcohol, I still drink. I have so many events I go to with my work it's hard not to. A drink helps me be a little more social. When I am out and about, I stop at 2 drinks...ALWAYS... 

At home, I buy just one bottle of wine at a time. For a while, I bought it by the case. It was cheaper that way.


----------



## eyuop

gbrad said:


> The point of my thread was to help myself be able to drink, just not drink too much.
> My wife drinks occasionally


So your point was to justify your position and help you to stay a responsibly drinker? 

Have you ever been drunk? How many times in your life? If you mess with the bull, someday you will get the horn.

Your life would be better without it.


----------



## MrClean

I tried the only buy a six pack or bottle at a time trick just to find myself driving under the influence to get more. Doesn't work.


----------



## gbrad

eyuop said:


> So your point was to justify your position and help you to stay a responsibly drinker?
> 
> *yes*
> Have you ever been drunk? *yes*How many times in your life? *sick, throwing up serious hangover drunk, only a handful of times* If you mess with the bull, someday you will get the horn.
> 
> Your life would be better without it.






Zanne said:


> In general, the advice seems to be to enjoy alcohol if the taste suits you, but if it's a problem, i.e. using it to unwind or deal with stressful situations, than it is best to abstain.
> 
> I think what gbrad is asking, is it okay to "temporarily" abuse alcohol during stressful seasons of life, and if so, how do you know if it is becoming a problem. What are the issues if it is not affecting his life otherwise?
> 
> *I don't think it is abusing alcohol just because you are having some in a stressful situation. It is just one method to relax, even at times let down your inhibitions, and have a little fun*
> 
> He already answered "no" to many of the alcohol abuse questions. He works. He is not driving while intoxicated. Nobody is complaining about his drinking.
> 
> Is he justified in his use?


----------



## eyuop

Time will tell. Come back here in a couple of years, gbrad. If you are still just fine and end up not abusing alcohol or becoming more dependent than you already are, then you can prove your point to all of us. If you can remain like this indefinately, then you can really prove your point. Time will tell -- but the odds are way against you -- that's all me and a bunch of others are saying. The odds are that you will progress down the slippery slope into alcoholism. You are betting you can stay just past the top of the slide and not go down any further, and you are convinced that being in that spot is where you will stay, and it is just fine for you to stay there. Us random forum people out there in internet land will probably never know if you end up going down the slide further or not. We probably will not see you here if you hit bottom, either. So we will most likely never know how well you managed. All the best!


----------



## gbrad

Went over a week without, had a couple drinks this weekend.


----------



## MrClean

Does your wife really know how much you were drinking? Would it concern her if she did since it obviously concerned you a little.


----------



## gbrad

MrClean said:


> Does your wife really know how much you were drinking? Would it concern her if she did since it obviously concerned you a little.


She knows I drink some. She has no idea how much really though. And yes, she would be more concerned than me. Thus why I had to keep some of it from her, to keep her from worrying when there was nothing to worry about.


----------



## Thoreau

Wow. Slippery slope gbrad. I'd say you are.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## gbrad

Thoreau said:


> Wow. Slippery slope gbrad. I'd say you are.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have friends who know how much I drink, just not her. It is not like I keep it a complete secret. She would just react more than most.


----------



## Thoreau

Rock on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MrClean

But gbrad... You are worrying yourself. I used to hide how many I really had too.

Does she ever ask you how many drinks you had in any particular night? 

Let's assume you only drank beer. If SHE thought you had a 3 beers then how many did you really have?


----------



## gbrad

MrClean said:


> But gbrad... You are worrying yourself. I used to hide how many I really had too.
> 
> Does she ever ask you how many drinks you had in any particular night?
> 
> Let's assume you only drank beer. If SHE thought you had a 3 beers then how many did you really have?


She doesn't really ask. If she does ask I don't usually give a number. Might just say, I had a drink.


----------



## MrClean

Between getting off of work on Friday and tonight. How many drinks did you have?


----------



## gbrad

MrClean said:


> Between getting off of work on Friday and tonight. How many drinks did you have?


five drinks. A mix of different kinds.


----------



## MrClean

Is that typical?


----------



## eyuop

gbrad said:


> five drinks. A mix of different kinds.


Okay, here's the deal. You like to drink. You want to drink. And you think that it's okay to drink as long as you do it responsibly. The rule of thumb is this (it comes from the Bible, actually):

"You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Evil is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master." Genesis 4:7

This is what God said to Cain's heart. He was jealous of his brother Abel and hated him. Even after these wise words, Cain couldn't subdue his rage and ended up murdering his brother. This verse in the Bible has a lot of wisdom in it, and applies to just about every area of someone's life when it comes to moving down a path that is dangerous.


----------



## gbrad

MrClean said:


> Is that typical?


For a weekend, that seems normal to me. 



eyuop said:


> Okay, here's the deal. You like to drink. You want to drink. And you think that it's okay to drink as long as you do it responsibly. The rule of thumb is this (it comes from the Bible, actually):
> 
> "You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Evil is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master." Genesis 4:7
> 
> This is what God said to Cain's heart. He was jealous of his brother Abel and hated him. Even after these wise words, Cain couldn't subdue his rage and ended up murdering his brother. This verse in the Bible has a lot of wisdom in it, and applies to just about every area of someone's life when it comes to moving down a path that is dangerous.


That sounds good to me.


----------



## gbrad

Had some fun this weekend. Went out to eat and had some drinks out as well as buying some new bottles for the house. Enjoyed the weekend, and now a nice stiff drink or two makes Monday evening even more enjoyable.


----------



## MrClean

I don't think you have a problem at five drinks for a weekend. Five in an hour for hours.... then you might come back for help.


----------



## gbrad

"It's 5o'clock somewhere" do you think that was first said by someone who wanted to get divorced? LOL, I crack myself up.


----------



## endoftether

Jamison said:


> There is a difference between alcohol abuse and alcohol dependance, you likely fall into one of those categories. Google it to see the difference. You may not be a full blown alcoholic but sounds like there could be a drinking issue on the rise. Wanting it, may be worse than needing it. Good luck.


Hi gbrad, your situation may not be mine, but I had similar for about 20 years. It could feel fine now but down the road may be a different thing.

Read my posts if you will. I am (was) alcohol dependant, not a full blown alcoholic but that really is not the point. Does it affect family and friends, does it hurt loved ones. I'm in AA now and have not had the need (won't say desire) to drink in a week 

If not, no problem, drink later, drink less. Just watch out it does not become a problem which creeps up on you when you are not looking.


----------



## gbrad

Over the past few months I know I have had times where I have struggled with this one. I have shown myself the ability to go a few days without a drink at all and then some days where I only have one drink. But for much of the time it is 2 or 3 drinks a day/night. For the past month I have been being much healthier in my diet. With that I have been able to cut the drinking down some as well.


----------



## HangingOnHope

gbrad said:


> Over the past few months I know I have had times where I have struggled with this one. I have shown myself the ability to go a few days without a drink at all and then some days where I only have one drink. But for much of the time it is 2 or 3 drinks a day/night. For the past month I have been being much healthier in my diet. With that I have been able to cut the drinking down some as well.


gbrad...hi. If I am hearing you, you don't think you are alcohol dependent (yet), you are doing some secretive drinking, and would like to reduce the amount you're drinking and (go back?) to a more moderate type of drinking?

If so...I invite you to look into The Sinclair Method. This involves a medication called Naltrexone (or Nalmefene, if you prefer). In a nutshell, its a form of pharmocological extinction that requires *only* that you take one 50 mg pill an hour before you drink, anytime you are going to drink. Thats it. One pill an hour before. You can get a script from your doctor for the med... but if you prefer not to have it on your medical records, you can also order it online. 

It has a very good success rate. Americans are extremely entrenched in the 12 step model as being the only way to deal with drinking. No offense to the many wonderful people AA has helped, no offense to the program itself. But its not the only way. (There is also Moderation Management, HARM reduction, Rational Recovery, etc) Abstinence isn't the answer for everyone. Only you can say. 

The Sinclair Method has successfully helped people go back to a time before they became concerned and to drink less overall, less per session and remove cravings. Its also helped those who wished to become abstinent..to do so.

Good luck


----------



## gbrad

Have not been on the site in many months, but thought I should check in and say a few things. Life has taken many turns, some for the better ans some for the worse in recent months. I don't know if I am an alcoholic, but I do know that I drink way too much. It is difficult, I know that it has an effect on my day to day life at times now. I just keep saying that when things turn around, I wont need to drink as much, but things have not turned around and I keep drinking now.


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## Tirasleen

If you do not want to quit something that concerns you....you have a drinking problem. It will escalate. Drinking because you are lonely or bored may be covering up some issues with you.


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## Tirasleen

gbrad said:


> Have not been on the site in many months, but thought I should check in and say a few things. Life has taken many turns, some for the better ans some for the worse in recent months. I don't know if I am an alcoholic, but I do know that I drink way too much. It is difficult, I know that it has an effect on my day to day life at times now. I just keep saying that when things turn around, I wont need to drink as much, but things have not turned around and I keep drinking now.


This is what I always used to say.....I went from a happy social drinker to drinking alone, then it got worse as I tried to bury issues with it. Now I'm free of it...no more. Anything I worry about or question must be a problem so it has to be resolved. Therapy helps figure out what is lacking that you want to drink even when it makes you concerned.


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## gbrad

Tirasleen said:


> If you do not want to quit something that concerns you....you have a drinking problem. It will escalate. Drinking because you are lonely or bored may be covering up some issues with you.


Thought I would check back in. I recognize that I have a drinking problem. I know that I drink too much. I have days where I drink too much, get little sleep, feel like crap afterwards, and then say I won't drink for the next couple days to let my body recover. But it doesn't happen. I will go the next day with either having nothing or only drink. Then the following day my body seems to have mostly recovered and its back to drinking more. Even when I say I want to drink less or have nothing to drink for a few days, I don't do it. The only time I go more than 1 day without a drink is when I am sick (from something other than the drinking). I really do want to drink less, I just don't know how to make myself do it. I don't want to quit drinking forever, I just want to be able to go back to drinking occasionally instead of everyday.


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## Catherine602

Why are you drinking every day? What's wrong with your life? Why do you need to numb yourself to face each evening? Any relatives with drinking problems?

Didn't read your entire thread so you may have covered this already.


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## gbrad

Catherine602 said:


> Why are you drinking every day? What's wrong with your life? Why do you need to numb yourself to face each evening? Any relatives with drinking problems?
> 
> Didn't read your entire thread so you may have covered this already.


I have been unhappy with my career, life, marriage, etc. over the past handful of years. So the drinking started very slow, and gradually went from social to more, to everyday. At this point its not about numbing myself each evening. Its more about the fact that it is what I am used to doing so even when I don't really have a reason to drink I still do anyway. Drinking does run in the family.


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## gouge_away

I know drinking when I'm stressed, or depressed makes everything worse, I can't sleep for sh!t because of the fdup dreams waking me every half hour, and their vivid dreams you don't just forget.


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## gbrad

gouge_away said:


> I know drinking when I'm stressed, or depressed makes everything worse, I can't sleep for sh!t because of the fdup dreams waking me every half hour, and their vivid dreams you don't just forget.


Yah, I rarely ever sleep through the night. I either wake up sweating due to the amount I drank or I wake up from having crazy dreams all night long. I will say some of the dreams are good and WELL worth it, but most are not.


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## Catherine602

You may be the type of drinker that should not touch alcohol if you want to stop. 

Can you take each area of your life and do one small thing that would change the trajectory. Just one and then build on success. 

When I first joined they site, I was ready to walk away from my husband. I've changed dramatically since then. It started with reading two books and took off from there. I am reasonably happy and content now. My husband is about the same, my kids are more challenging than ever, I lost a career that I loved in deference to my husband's career.

My frame of reference changed. That led to substantial changes in my life. I have different goals that I am working towards. They are in the context of what I have available to me now. Things will change in the future and so will my goals. 

Where can you make some personal changes that will give you a reason for living? 

One of the books I read was Viktor Frankl "Man's search for meaning" It's a short book that I have read 4 times already. It is dense and gives you a format to think about existence and follow if you like.


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## gbrad

Catherine602 said:


> You may be the type of drinker that should not touch alcohol if you want to stop.
> 
> Can you take each area of your life and do one small thing that would change the trajectory. Just one and then build on success.
> 
> When I first joined they site, I was ready to walk away from my husband. I've changed dramatically since then. It started with reading two books and took off from there. I am reasonably happy and content now. My husband is about the same, my kids are more challenging than ever, I lost a career that I loved in deference to my husband's career.
> 
> My frame of reference changed. That led to substantial changes in my life. I have different goals that I am working towards. They are in the context of what I have available to me now. Things will change in the future and so will my goals.
> 
> Where can you make some personal changes that will give you a reason for living?
> 
> One of the books I read was Viktor Frankl "Man's search for meaning" It's a short book that I have read 4 times already. It is dense and gives you a format to think about existence and follow if you like.


I don't know. I know that completely cutting out alcohol is not something I want to do. I just want to be able to go back to being in control of it. I have tried many times to focus on other things, it is just very hard to be consistant with it. It doesn't help that everyday I wonder what my routine at home will be like based on my wife. It is hard to get something consistant going.


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## Catherine602

Make a routine for yourself independent of your wife. Do it just one day of the week, just for you. 

You have a problem that will get worse.


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## gbrad

Catherine602 said:


> Make a routine for yourself independent of your wife. Do it just one day of the week, just for you.
> 
> You have a problem that will get worse.


I like that idea. I just don't know what or how to do that. I always plan what I am going to do and when around her and when she will be home.


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## Catherine602

gbrad said:


> I like that idea. I just don't know what or how to do that. I always plan what I am going to do and when around her and when she will be home.


Have to go now but I'lll just say - think outside of this pattern, what can you do differently? One little thing for a start.


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## gouge_away

Try only drinking with meals.
When you get to the point that its the first think you do when you wake up, your a goner.


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## gbrad

Ok, fine. I think I am at the point where I can admit I basically an alcoholic. Though I still don't want to give up ever drinking, I want to be able to drink, just wish I wouldn't so often. Even when I tell myself I'm only going to drink X amount on a given night, or I will skip a certain night or two, doesn't usually go very well. I believe my count is at 4 drinks, maybe 5 (all hard liqour) and it is not even dinner time.


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## gbrad

FrenchFry said:


> Can you use your wife/friends/family to help you with accountability?


Wife, no. I try and keep a good portion of it hidden from her, not all but some of it. Friends and family, when we get together with them, a main part of what we do is drink. So that would put a damper on things.


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## happy as a clam

If you truly are an alcoholic, trying to continue drinking "in moderation" really isn't going to work well for you.

But if you must drink because you can't imagine cutting it out of your social life, then follow the age-old rule: Don't drink alone. In fact, drinking alone (especially in excess) is a major red flag of determining whether or not you are an alcoholic.

It sounds to me like following this rule would eliminate about 90% of your drinking.

You've already proven that you can go days without a drink, so just buckle down and quit drinking alone. 

Better yet, own up to your problem and go to AA. Find new ways to express yourself socially besides getting drunk.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jld

gbrad said:


> Wife, no. I try and keep a good portion of it hidden from her, not all but some of it. Friends and family, when we get together with them, a main part of what we do is drink. So that would put a damper on things.


New friends? Deciding you need to change what you are doing in terms of drinking for yourself, and being an example even when you are with family and old friends?

Leadership, gbrad.


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## gbrad

FrenchFry said:


> If you revealed to your wife the true extent of your drinking, how do you think she would react?


She would be very unhappy. She would not take it well at all. She has told me as much in the past. So, I don't know if I want to go down the road of dealing with that at this time.


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## zillard

Well, what you're trying clearly isn't working for you. 

Time to try something else. 

Go a month without. Notice and journal about how you feel. Better sleep, less groggy in AM, no more feeling like sh!t, more energy, finished this and that project, proud of yourself for going 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 4 weeks. Write it down.

After the month is up, get absolutely obliterated. The next morning, write about how you feel then. Don't filter - jot it all down, physical, emotional, all of it. 

Then next time you feel the urge, come home from work and read it.


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## zillard

FrenchFry said:


> I think that's why you need to tell her gbrad.
> 
> Part of not drinking so much has to be being honest to yourself and those around you so they can look out and support your goals.
> 
> I also think your wife already has a suspicion.
> 
> You need to deal with it at some point--this isn't something you can hide and make it go away. I think you need a team of people on your side that can help you.


She *should* respect you if you bring it up in a way that you are asking for her support. 

Of course that will only help if you are open to said support.


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## zillard

Her not being much of a drinker is in your favor. 

I opened up to my X about my habit, and stopped bringing home any. She then brought it home and would pressure me to drink with her. Of course that ended poorly as I then had an IDGAF attitude.

You have recognized a problem and admitted it, here. Her support could be invaluable and opening up about it could do wonders for your marriage too.


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## gbrad

zillard said:


> She *should* respect you if you bring it up in a way that you are asking for her support.
> 
> Of course that will only help if you are open to said support.


The fact is that many years ago it was stated that alcoholism would be grounds for divorce. And while I have wanted the ability to have a "nice" divorce for some years now, that is not the way I would want it to happen. I see it as a last resort because I think she would take it too personally. I don't want her internalizing it (which knowing her, I'm positive she would), and that would not be healthy for her. And as a result it would not be leaving her in a healthy position to move on with her life. Which is what I want to do if we get a divorce. I want her to be in a poisition overall where she could be successful.


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## gbrad

I'm not guessing. This was a conversation that was had prior to marriage and afterwards. There is alcoholism in the family (both sides of it) and it has been stated on many occasions that alcoholism would be grounds for divorce. It is just not the thing I want to use to get us there. If I ever were to tell her, the only purpose it would have would be to start the process of divorce and for no other reason would I tell her.


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## Openminded

Why do you think she would take your alcoholism personally? That choice is on you and not on her. 

I don't think you are ready emotionally for a divorce no matter how many years you've wanted one.


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## zillard

If you feel guilty about hiding this from your wife (dishonesty), that can actually lead to more drinking, exacerbating both issues.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbrad

Openminded said:


> Why do you think she would take your alcoholism personally? That choice is on you and not on her.
> 
> I don't think you are ready emotionally for a divorce no matter how many years you've wanted one.


I think she would take it personally based on her family and her past. I know her well enough to know that is not something I want her to experience. Not emotionally ready....I've been ready for a while. The mentality is not one that it is a romantic love filled marriage. It is different. It is about a practicality and protecting her. And yes that takes its toll on me, which is what leads to some of the drinking. 



zillard said:


> If you feel guilty about hiding this from your wife (dishonesty), that can actually lead to more drinking, exacerbating both issues.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't feel guilty for hiding it.


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## Fozzy

gbrad said:


> I don't know. I know that completely cutting out alcohol is not something I want to do. I just want to be able to go back to being in control of it.


Imagine you adopt a small ape (bear with me here). At first the baby ape is just kind of fun. Makes a mess occasionally, but you can wrestle around with it and put it in it's cage before it wrecks your living room. Over time, the baby ape has grown into a gorilla. You can't wrestle the gorilla anymore. It's simply too powerful. Wishing the gorilla was a baby ape again so that you can get control of it simply doesn't work. If you let it out of its cage, it wins.

Once you get to a certain point, you really can't just roll back the clock to when it was manageable. You have to make a decision to either live with the gorilla in your living room until it wrecks everything around you, or get rid of it.


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## Fozzy

FrenchFry said:


> I understand this was said many years ago but actually seeing your SO in the battle of alcoholism may be a different reality. Do you think you wife is incapable of sympathy or empathy for her own husband?
> 
> You need to tell her because you lack accountability otherwise and you will continue in this half-in, half out miserable life you have going on right now.
> 
> I also don't think you will get there by cutting down--not until you get some sort of actual structure in place where those closest to you know what is going on.
> 
> You only currently have accountability to yourself and you aren't doing a great job of it, you know?


This is worth thinking about Gbrad. The talks about divorcing over alcoholism may have been with the assumption that it's out of control. If you come to her and show her that you know you have a problem and you're going to do what it takes to fix it--do you think that would get a different response from her?


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## aine

Gbrad, you should consider whether you are alcohol dependent or even an alcoholic. Some people have addictive personalities and have that 'need' for a substance. If everything in your life is ****, and you use alcohol to soothe yourself then you are alcohol dependent and treading in very dangerous waters. 

Alcohol is a depressant (you might think it is your friend) and may give you momentary relief but then everything comes undone, marriage, work, family, etc. ( I know this because of my H and from other family members)
From what you write you are making one excuse after the other as to why you are not an alcoholic and why you will not give up the drink, because you cannot, it is your number one priority.
I would suggest, you put all problems aside and go get help with AA.

Do these excuses sound familiar to you

1 Excuse #1 – “I’m not hurting anyone but myself!”
2 Excuse #2 – “I just want a bit of relief.”
3 Excuse #3 – “If you had my problems, you would drink too.”
4 Excuse #4 – “This is who I am”
5 Excuse #5 – “I need to drink to be social.”
6 Excuse #6 – “I need to drink for work.”
7 Excuse #7 – “I’m not an alcoholic, I can stop whenever I want”
8 Excuse #8 – “At least I don’t drink like Mr X does, now THAT dude has a problem.”
9 Excuse #9 – “Everyone else drinks”
10 Excuse #10 – “Life is pointless and I’m going to die anyways, I might as well go out on my terms”

If this is what you tell yourself, then you have a problem with alcohol and need to get help, but only you an make that decision. You have probably blamed your work, your boss, your wife, your marriage, etc, but none of them are standing there forcing your to drink, that is just an excuse not to take responsibility for your own life.


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## gbrad

aine said:


> Gbrad, you should consider whether you are alcohol dependent or even an alcoholic. Some people have addictive personalities and have that 'need' for a substance. If everything in your life is ****, and you use alcohol to soothe yourself then you are alcohol dependent and treading in very dangerous waters.
> 
> .


I agree in regards to the dependent vs. alcoholic aspect. I have thought about that and at this point I think it is still on the line not having crossed over to alcoholic. I know if I don't change soon it will cross over.


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## RoseAglow

gbrad, I recognize the feelings in your post. For me, I realized about a year ago that I had developed the craving: if I had one, I was going to want to have another one. This wasn't entirely new- I would experience it in the past, after I'd already had a few drinks. But it was now different in that it only took one drink to trigger the craving, and it was there almost every single time I had a first drink.

Perhaps like you, I didn't suffer any outward negative consequences. I didn't miss work and in fact excelled in my job. No DUIs. I didn't destroy my finances over drinking. I didn't lose any relationships. My husband also drank, as well as my friends and family, and no one ever suggested that I was out of line or that something was going awry. In fact, none of them can understand why I put the drink down, and they are not shy to tell me so! 

However, I knew something was different and it scared me. I changed things up- changed the alcohol type that I bought, changed the amount, made up rules and was sort of/kind of able to keep them (like no drinking during the work-week...OK may Thurs was a good start of the weekend...and then on 'special' occasions like a hard work day, or a great work day, or to commiserate or celebrate with the husband for his work day...you probably know how this goes...) I was not drinking every day, but I was drinking at least a few times each week. 

I have a lot of experience being on the other side of addiction. My ex-fiance fell into opiate addiction when we were together. I've been to probably 100s of AA/NA/Naranon meetings in my life, as he went in and out of sobriety over several years. It was among the most difficult and heartbreaking experiences of my life. For me, once I realized that the craving was there, reliably, regularly, even though I could still fight against it, I knew I was approaching a line. I am not going to cross that line. I will not put my family, especially my young son, through that. 

It sounds like you, too, feel that you are approaching that line. 

For me, I started to read. I thought that I was a "yet", to use AA-ish terminology (as in "not an alcoholic...YET"). I wasn't quite up for AA, even though I actually do believe in the overall philosophy. 

I read several books, but the one that brought it all together and made it "Click" for me was Allen Carr's "How to Control Your Drinking." I am a book person and even though it's a bit showy of a book, it made perfect sense to me. It seems unbelievable, but by adapting Carr's outlook- which I truly do believe to be accurate- I just stopped drinking, easily. Very easily. I also picked up Jason Vale's book, who worked as a counselor in Carr's clinic. Vale is more up-to-date but they have the same outlook. His was a reinforcement with a few other considerations that just cemented my decision. 

It's been about 7 months now. I feel incredible. I always heard people say that life is better sober, and I always attributed that to just not having hangovers or other drinking concerns. While it is true that those issues are no longer in play, I don't think that is actually why things are so much better. For me anyway, it has been like stepping out of black-and-white Kansas into Oz-In-Color. Life actually *feels* different. Sleep is like cashmere. It is just amazing. Alcohol is actually a poison, and when you stop giving yourself small, frequent doses, your mind and body come alive. That is the feeling.

People who think about stopping drinking are often terrified. They absolutely do NOT want to give up alcohol entirely. They cannot imagine an enjoyable life without it. Some of my friends and family actually recoiled when I told them that I was not drinking any more, "OMG, why?!?!?! Can I drink you around you? You're not going to ask ME to stop, are you??" LOL! For many, alcohol is the equivalent of a grown-up "kiddie blanket". It is a potentially harmful, even lethal, Dumbo's feather. It is one huge delusion.

You will enjoy life so much more thoroughly without it. The reality is that birthdays, weddings, celebrations, etc. are joyful, period. The reality is that they are enjoyable in spite of, and not due to, alcohol consumption. Being sober is like being on a super-power vitamin or a miracle drug, everything feels better, brighter, lighter. Alcohol doesn't even come into play, except that you're not drinking it any more. That's it, it is a fleeting thought and usually that thought is: I am so incredibly happy to be done with that stuff!! I have that thought dang near every time I am around people who are drinking, which is quite often. I have wine in my house for guests. I just came back from Europe, where nearly all my friends and colleagues were drinking French wine and Belgian Beer. I have hosted parties and poured wine, made drinks for others. Staying sober is easy when you realize that you give up NOTHING and gain EVERYTHING by choosing to leave alcohol aside. 

As you are reading this, you may think that I am delusional. The drug itself will 'tell' you that what I am saying is not true and is actually impossible, or that I am a sad, pathetic sort who can't enjoy the obvious benefits of alcohol; that's what I used to feel, and some of my extended family is not shy in telling me that this is how they feel now towards me and my not drinking. 

I assure you, though, I am not the one using a drug. Pure logic should tell you that the person who is clear-headed is going to have a better grasp of the truth. I am not posting to you to try to bring you down a road into misery- you can already see that you are on that very path. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting. I am posting to you to assure that you are quite on the RIGHT path by questioning your alcohol use. "Sobriety" sounds like it means something harsh, stern, not-fun. It is actually quite the opposite in real-life experience though. It is clear skies, it is having the ability to handle life's challenges, it is feeling physically and emotionally great as a baseline. It is a better experience in just about every way possible.

I got there via Carr and Vale, but there are many roads. AA has worked for hundreds of thousands of people. There are other programs like SMART and rational recovery, there is a HUGE community of sober bloggers, some starting at Day One and others who have been sober for years. There are pod-casts. The amount of support available is staggering. There are many, many people who are thriving and living very happy, satisfying lives without any alcohol. Alcohol is just not necessary for a very fulfilling life, and it will actually hinder you, as you are experiencing now. 

I've followed this thread and it sounds like you are on the brink. I encourage you to keep going, keep thinking about it, do your research. I don't think I am an alcoholic in the true sense of the word, I am just a person who doesn't drink alcohol. The reason is because life is *way better* without it. You don't have to be an alcoholic to experience this and you can say this if your wife asks. 

Your life is challenging right now, heavily influenced by your alcohol use. You can change that. You're on the right path. Keep going!!


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## gouge_away

I quit drinking totally about 8 years ago when I became a christian. It wasn't that I thought drinking was wrong, no way, Jesus' first miracle was the greatest beer run in human history. I just didn't feel comfortable in the atmosphere, surrounded by people who weren't in control of their actions and thoughts.

I drank coffee, and loved the atmosphere, even the women (I was single) were more attractive, friendly, respectable and respected me.

When I met my wife 3 years ago I started going out with her, she loved the bars scene, for the first 6 months before marriage I drank monster out at the bars, I still hated the bullsh!t drama atmosphere, but that's what my wife lived for.

3 months into marriage, I was drinking as much as she was going out to the bars, the drama was harder to avoid because so much more of it surrounded us, or our relationship. Nothing about our marriage was kept within our marriage.

6 months into the marriage I became depressed, cut back on drinking to just 2 beers when we went out, I would fade into the background and just observe my wife from a distance, when the be started I would leave.

1 year into the marriage I quit socializing with my wife, instead I focused on my son. I had my own life she had hers. When I didn't have my son, I drank alone.

I don't know what she was doing over the past year of our marriage.

I joined Tam last Nov, pretty much moved out Dec/Jan.
Filed D late Apr
I'm no longer clinically depressed, I'm pissed off at the b.s. I have to deal with now, but the end is near!

I drink a couple nights a week, 2-3 bottles of beer, never alone. The last time I got drunk was early may, the night before I met my lawyer.

I'm back to drinking coffee. Talking to real people, about real life issues.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, *"KEURIG™."*


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## danielwalker

gbrad said:


> I agree in regards to the dependent vs. alcoholic aspect. I have thought about that and at this point I think it is still on the line not having crossed over to alcoholic. I know if I don't change soon it will cross over.


The first part of getting over you addiction is acceptance. I can assure you that you will get nowhere without accepting that you are indeed an alcoholic. I ain’t preaching- it got so bad for me that I got dragged to rehab.

I know it’s difficult, but the only way forward in my opinion is to tell your wife about your addiction. You need her support, and you need to atleast try for it. You difficulty will be reduced immensely if you consult a physician. Try looking for a good rehab centre nearby. if you’re anywhere in Canada, take a look at the Canada Rehab Reviews site. They review good addiction treatment programs in Calgary and surrounding areas. 

Remember- the first step is acceptance. You will never be cured of your addiction until you accept to yourself that you do have an addiction and that you want to get over it.


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## gbrad

Just to give an update. Things have been going better. In the marriage we have been spending a lot more time together and for the most part it has been good time spent. There are still plenty of things that bother me, but I also know I need to accept that most of those wont change much. As for the drinking, I have pushed myself to go multiple days at a time without drinking, so it is no longer an everyday thing.


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## gbrad

Update 3 months later. Things are not as good now, in many departments.


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## Catherine602

What is going on G?


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## gbrad

Catherine602 said:


> What is going on G?


Things had gotten better and then we thought things were going to change significantly for the better, when the opposite happened. Now we have been spending very little time together, the sex has gone missing, the affection is gone, the hope seems to be dwindling and well, since life just seems to be so grand right now, my drinking has gone up. I had gone through a month where I only drank 2 or 3 times at all. Now it is back to everyday. So much stress and so much alone and loss of hope that it is getting harder to deal with it.


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## happy as a clam




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## Catherine602

Brad Sounds like you have a lot on your plate but it's temporary, right? Can you tackle one thing at a time? How about the drinking first. I've read that antidepressant may help people with a drinking problem. The alcohol is an attempt to self medicate.

Can you tell more about what is going on?


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## happy as a clam

OP... Do a Google search for alcoholism + Niacin (the "flushing" kind which is nicotinic acid, NOT the "non-flushing" kind which is niacinamide).

You may find it helpful.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tech-novelist

gbrad said:


> I have to say, those who are recommending that I just give up drinking completely, that is not an option that is going to happen.


I'm not an expert, but to me that sounds like what an alcoholic would say.
(ETA: I hadn't read the whole thread when I posted that.)


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## Woodchuck

I had smoked weed every day for probably 10 years...Get home sit in my recliner, roll a number, fire it up.....Came home one night, sat in my recliner, rolled a number, an hour later I realized I had not fired it up....I said to myself, "if I really wanted this I would have smoked it.....Haven't smoked since...over 20 years.....Much later, I was drinking about 8 oz of bourbon every evening....Poured a glass one night took a sip, and something was wrong...Looked at the bottle and found they had dropped the proof from 90 to 86....After finishing the bottle, I didn't touch a drop for 6 years....

How many ounces a day of hard liquor are you drinking? I think you just like the way it makes you feel, and look forward to it, not necessarily abusing it...


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## gouge_away

Ok, I hear you bro.
Sell or pour out the booze,
Get a coffee maker, and first thing when you wake up, make a pot or cup of coffee every morning.

Get a gym membership, when you feel the urge to drink, get your a$s to the gym.

Always have a bottle of water open and within reach.


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