# husband spends too much time with his mom



## briannak

I feel as if i am losing my husband. My husband wakes up at seven when he doesn't have to be at work until noon, and goes directly to his parents house. Around 11:30 he takes off to work, comes home about 8:30, changes his clothes, bareley aske me how my day was, and goes to his parents house and i dont see him again until midnight or even sometimes the next morning. Two months ago we had a missed miscariage, and i spend alot of time crying. This would have been our first child. I took it really hard, especailly because the day after my D&C my stupid sister in law started making fun of me about the situation and said that it was just a baby and that i needed to get over it. She also stated that her and her husband had a great laugh at my expensive, and this was a contant shared by her parents as well, my in laws. They deneyed it but to me it confirmed a feeling i all had. My husband refuses to speak to his sister because of the pain she has caused me, but i feel it just made him closer to his parents. Ive talked to him about it, how i feel when he is always over there but he says im being dramatic and i feel as if he thinks im just trying to keep him away from all of his family member which is not the case. I dont mind a visit every now and then even 1 hour a day. But when i see him for a total of twenty minutes when hes in and out of the bathroom is very lonely. I have even tried going over to his parents house, but he insist that we spend the night. we only live about five minutes away, why would i want to spend the night there. I ask him if we could come home early and he suggest different cars, and when we are there he is distant out of repect for his mom. I need help, i dont know what to do.


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## preso

Did he do this all his adult life, and before you met him or is there some reason he is going over more, like one of his parents have a severe illness and needing help?


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## foolz1

Your husband should always put YOU first. And that is just cruel for your in-laws to make fun of you, as a miscarriage is difficult enough as it is to deal with. I understand why you are so hurt. Have you suggested counceling to your husband, or at least have a talk with someone who can be unbiased in this situation. Do you have any support from friends or your family? It sounds like there is an unnatural bond between your spouse and his family.


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## gturnwald

tsk... that's a hard thing to experience.


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## preso

foolz1 said:


> Your husband should always put YOU first. .



I agree, when a man marries he leaves his mother and father and cleaves to his wife.


I know a man like this who spends all his free time with his mother, but there is a reason, she is wealthy and he is wanting to be close to her so he gets what he feels is coming to him.
I feel thats an awful thing and told him that.
I told him his mother could end up living a longggggggggg time
and be ill, money eaten up with medical bills...
but he still spends all his days off over her house, taking out her trash and driving her around town to shop.

Its a very odd thing.
Of course he isn't married, but who would marry a guy like that anyway ????


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## Mrsgomez

I am in a similar situation and although I can't give you any advice I suppose seeing that you are not alone may bring you comfort i hope. My mother in law did not raise my husband in fact she didn't raise any of her 8 children she was far too busy addicted to drugs to care so my husband was brought up by his grandma who is also a little strange but I respect her for doing what she did for her grand kids.. Well the problem is this my mother in law is now an alcoholic and in one of her drunkin rages she became violent with me she tore off my shirt and tried to choke me. I was horrified and after it all happened my husband forgave her as if nothing had happened his brother also treats me badly and has shouted at me various times I have done nothing to theses people I assume that the reason they hate me is because they are jealous but I do not know for sure. It hurts so bad to see him be kind to them after the how they have treated me I feel completely betrayed by him if my family ever treated him the way his did I would never speak to them again. when two people are married they become family in my eyes and no one else should come before your spouse I just hope that once we have children it will tighten our bond and loosen the one he has with his horrible family.. I am sorry for what you lost and that you have to deal with this situation. best wishes


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## Hoping2

I know how you feel, my husband used to spend too much time at his mothers house too and we used to fight about this.. I always felt that his priority was his mother, we are seperated for a month now and he is living with his mom.
A man needs to stand up for his wife, you guys should try some counselling, I am trying for my H to go too. Goodluck, always rememebr that you are not alone and this too shall pass.


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