# Do women pay more attention to their social networks than their own husbands?



## MAEPT10 (Oct 19, 2011)

There needs to be self-help groups, or 12 step-programs, or focus groups aimed toward women and their addictions to Pinterest, Facebook, Groupon, Coupon Souzy or what ever the hell they sit and look at on their iPhones all night. Seriously, it ruins relationships. 

Don't get me wrong I know us men do plenty of things that ruin relationships, but this crap is so frustrating to deal with.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Don't blame an entire gender because of the actions of a few (or one).

And technology isn't responsible for damaged relationships any more than pencils are responsible for bad writing.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Mistys dad said:


> Don't blame an entire gender because of the actions of a few (or one).



You must be new around these parts.


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## Broncos Fan (Mar 1, 2012)

MAEPT10 said:


> There needs to be self-help groups, or 12 step-programs, or focus groups aimed toward women and their addictions to Pinterest, Facebook, Groupon, Coupon Souzy or what ever the hell they sit and look at on their iPhones all night. Seriously, it ruins relationships.
> 
> Don't get me wrong I know us men do plenty of things that ruin relationships, but this crap is so frustrating to deal with.


My wife and I argue about this all the time, though anymore we're more understanding about it and kind of joke about it now. I could tell her just about anything, sitting there next to her, and if she's on fb then forget it--she has no idea what I said. For a long time she had no idea what I thought about anything or how my day was, etc. But she had detailed information about so-and-so from KC who she worked with 10 years ago and what that person just had for breakfast as well as what that person's husband thinks about the topic I was just talking about. Really frustrating, but she's become aware of it and has improved. I've come to the conclusion that fb and other social sites are sort of "porn" for women. They get their fundamental needs met (but not really) in an artificial way the same way men get fundamental needs met by surfing porn. Just a theory, but it would explain the obsessive way some (many) women glue to those sites and can spend hours on them, oblivious to the world around them. This all leaves aside the fb leading to adultery problem, which is a whole other hornet's nest I fortunately haven't had to deal with.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Kobo said:


> Mistys dad said:
> 
> 
> > Don't blame an entire gender because of the actions of a few (or one).
> ...


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Mistys dad said:


> Don't blame an entire gender because of the actions of a few (or one).
> 
> And technology isn't responsible for damaged relationships any more than pencils are responsible for bad writing.


agreed

But i would say i feel that more women are drawn to say social networks so they can be exactly that social and converse with others. Generally (Big sterotype FYI) women hate to feel alone and unwanted while men dislike it most do at least i feel more men can tolerate it and many might prefer it. So with that said i feel its only normal that maybe females like say facebook more its a break from the drama and serious real issues of the world like (war, economics, politics, starvation death). Is it any wonder that mostly men are on forums that are about say issues like (guns, politics, economics) and that drama stuff vs more females being on forums about (relationships, love, socialization in which topics might be lighter).


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

That's funny. I'm so old I can remember when the stereotypical dysfunctional marriage was the wife feeling ignored and unappreciated while her husband was on his employer provided computer til late every evening and all day on weekends.

Now we have men sharing childcare and housework tasks and feeling ignored and unappreciated while their wives are on email, facebook and sms text til late every evening and all day on weekends


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## MAEPT10 (Oct 19, 2011)

Mistys dad said:


> Don't blame an entire gender because of the actions of a few (or one).
> 
> And technology isn't responsible for damaged relationships any more than pencils are responsible for bad writing.


I'm not casting blame. I wanted to see if I got any feedback similar to what I'm going through. 

Hell, I have a facebook account too, and I look during the day when I go the hopper or at home occasionally too, I look at it quite a bit too, but when its time to be with someone and communicate with them its rude to use facebook and other crap at the same time. 

Next time you're on fb, you may notice that other women are even posting things like "wow, time to get off Pinterest, 3 hours later I've gotten nothing done." or "geez Pinterest just killed my afternoon, but i love the cute picures of cute crap i just pinned." or "I'm addicted to pinterest." 


So in actuality I think its a bigger problem than just my wife.


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## MAEPT10 (Oct 19, 2011)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> That's funny. I'm so old I can remember when the stereotypical dysfunctional marriage was the wife feeling ignored and unappreciated while her husband was on his employer provided computer til late every evening and all day on weekends.
> 
> Now we have men sharing childcare and housework tasks and feeling ignored and unappreciated while their wives are on email, facebook and sms text til late every evening and all day on weekends


:smthumbup::iagree:


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

MAEPT10 said:


> So in actuality I think its a bigger problem than just my wife.


It's a problem that people spend so much time on their personal interests at the expense of their marriage relationship. It a sign of the times that women are catching up to an equal position with men in doing this.


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

Yes.
And all men pay more attention to porn sites and video games than they do their wives.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Broncos Fan (Mar 1, 2012)

FrankKissel said:


> Yes.
> And all men pay more attention to porn sites and video games than they do their wives.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kissel. MistysDad has already declared himself "The Honorable Defender of All Womanhood" for this thread. Move along and find your own.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Sure it's an issue in a lot of relationships.

So is a husband who works on a car all night in the garage.

Or a wife who spends all weekend at a shopping mall.

Or a parent that dedicates every moment of free time to a kid's sport.

The problem is in the person or relationship, not the outlet.


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## MAEPT10 (Oct 19, 2011)

Mistys dad said:


> Sure it's an issue in a lot of relationships.
> 
> So is a husband who works on a car all night in the garage.
> 
> ...



That is a valid statement. But isn't this the forum to discuss this and pose these types of questions?


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

FrankKissel said:


> Yes.
> And all men pay more attention to porn sites and video games than they do their wives.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wrong. Porn only last 2 minutes and half of that is clean up.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Broncos Fan said:


> Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kissel. MistysDad has already declared himself "The Honorable Defender of All Womanhood" for this thread. Move along and find your own.


I've declared what?:scratchhead:

Blaming all women for something is no different than somebody posting how their husband is a jerk, so all men are jerks.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

That may be true for some, but certainly not for all. We BOTH deleted ourselves from Facebook when we decided to reconcile. I left a bulletin board I spent way too much time on, where I had 'known' everyone for a decade. Not all women are like this.


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## Broncos Fan (Mar 1, 2012)

Mistys dad said:


> I've declared what?:scratchhead:
> 
> Blaming all women for something is no different than somebody posting how thier husband is a jerk, so all men are jerks.


I hear you, and I've seen you criticize the threads that accuse all men as well. I hoped the smiley face would make clear I was joking. I'll add extra:


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Ok, we're cool. Misunderstanding.

It's a pet peeve of mine in the Men's Clubhouse. Somebody is PO'd at their partner so blanket bomb the entire gender.


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## FrankKissel (Nov 14, 2011)

Broncos Fan said:


> Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kissel. MistysDad has already declared himself "The Honorable Defender of All Womanhood" for this thread. Move along and find your own.


Sorry.
Between waiting for the money shot and this awesome session of Call of Duty, I must have missed MD's post.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Broncos Fan (Mar 1, 2012)

Mistys dad said:


> Ok, we're cool. Misunderstanding.
> 
> It's a pet peeve of mine in the Men's Clubhouse. Somebody is PO'd at their partner so blanket bomb the entire gender.


It's hard to joke online obviously, and you and FrankKissel are right that we shouldn't generalize too much in a way that is rude to women. I've been guilty. Then again I think Maept10 is right that this is a forum for discussions that may apply generally to (some) women, and I think the facebook addiction issue is one of them.


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## MAEPT10 (Oct 19, 2011)

Broncos Fan said:


> It's hard to joke online obviously, and you and FrankKissel are right that we shouldn't generalize too much in a way that is rude to women. I've been guilty. Then again I think Maept10 is right that this is a forum for discussions that may apply generally to (some) women, and I think the facebook addiction issue is one of them.


Thank you.

I'll be sure to watch out for my "blanket bombs" in the future. But I didn't blame all women, I asked a question. Do women pay more attention to their social networks than their own husbands?

I didn't say "all women pay more attention etc..."


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## MAEPT10 (Oct 19, 2011)

As i read my OP over again. I noticed that the attack was on women that are addicted to these social networks and neglect husbands. Not all women.. 

Just the same as a woman complaining that men that spend all their free time at the bar all week neglect their wives and that can ruin relationships.

Same thing.


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## Broncos Fan (Mar 1, 2012)

MAEPT10 said:


> Thank you.
> 
> I'll be sure to watch out for my "blanket bombs" in the future. But I didn't blame all women, I asked a question. Do women pay more attention to their social networks than their own husbands?
> 
> I didn't say "all women pay more attention etc..."


In addition to my anecdote in my first post on this thread, I'll say that I think it's one of those behaviors that maybe women shouldn't do, but many do and it's hardwired in some way. Just like when women ask about walking with their husbands and how we get caught looking at the young woman walking by in the other direction. We shouldn't do these things, but we aren't going to stop doing them either. Some accommodation is needed, for example not looking at the other woman so blatantly (for men) or not spending more than a given number of hours on social networks (for women). I agree with the idea that fb doesn't cause the behavior, but it enables something natural in people. I'm pretty sure that women a century ago probably ignored their husbands when a group of the neighborhood ladies was standing nearby and discussing this and that. It's just normal, but can be made worse by modern technology.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

My original point being, 

If your wife is spending hours a day on one of the social sites, to the point it is doing damage to your relationship, then it is a problem.

It is a problem in your relationship (and certainly many others). However, if Facebook was never invented, the problem would most likely still be there. It would just manifest itself in another outlet. Shopping, reading, television, drinking, whatever. 

Facebook will eventually be replaced with something else, technology will march on. As it does, people will have issues with the new technology.

The solution isn't to change the technology, it is to address why someone would wish to spend an "unhealthy" amount of time on any activity.


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## dmdream (Feb 14, 2012)

I don't know, but I think that people who are really satisfied with their lives and happy, would never pay much attention to their social networking profiles, they have better things to do.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Kobo said:


> Wrong. Porn only last 2 minutes and half of that is clean up.


You're holding it wrong...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jeff74 (Feb 11, 2012)

MAEPT10 said:


> There needs to be self-help groups, or 12 step-programs, or focus groups aimed toward women and their addictions to Pinterest, Facebook, Groupon, Coupon Souzy or what ever the hell they sit and look at on their iPhones all night. Seriously, it ruins relationships.
> 
> Don't get me wrong I know us men do plenty of things that ruin relationships, but this crap is so frustrating to deal with.



I guess I should be happy neither my wife nor i use any of the websites you mentioned!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

If either spouse prefers to stare at the computer (or tv or car engine) all evening it's a red flag in my opinion.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Once hubby's home, I put down the iPod touch unless he's busy with something.

I like message boards, scrabble, sudoku, and angry birds. I'm not on Facebook all that often. I come here and and BYC(backyard chickens) for message forums mostly.

I would rather come on the Internet then watch tv, unless I'm watching The Walking Dead. Hubby and I watch that show together.

I honestly don't think social networking ruins relationships. It's the individual person to blame. I have a lot of down time and I enjoy the Internet as my main source of entertainment. I talk to my best friend online since she lives in another state and I don't have a cell phone. Once hubby is home from work, we spend our time together and with the kids.


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## jrock1180 (Mar 10, 2012)

i dont believe any one thing ruins a marriage. I feel its within the person. I myself dont really care for arguing or fighting and i have my own personal issues to deal with, but my wife spends countless time watching "her tv shows" or sitting on facebook or on her phone and pays no attention to me. I simply go outside and work on my car, or get onto the computer and do some work, or play video games, or simply just sit next to her. I do find that more women blame men for the demise of a relationship when those women should be looking into a mirror. My deep feelings trouble my relationship because i cant trust my wife due to her cheating on me before and then changing her story. Does that mean that she ruined the relationship? Maybe. It could also mean that i am not doing something right and she isnt exactly telling me what the problem is. Point is that we all do our fair share of destroying relationships so blaming it on any one thing or gender is utterly useless.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Original question... do women pay more attention to social network than their husbands.


Yes. Definitely.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

*skipping replies*

I probably pay more attention to my social networks than my hubby - but for one good reason - he hates being the center of my world! He feels smothered if all my focus is on him, or if I want to talk to him about things he has no interest in... I don't like that aspect of our marriage most of the time - I often feel like the only time we can have a conversation is when it's about something that interests him. And even if it doesn't interest me, I make myself available to him because that's what I would want him to do with me.

I don't deliberately ignore him, though. I just kill time while he's being inattentive... 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gratitude (Feb 12, 2012)

Do women pay more attention to social networking? Yes. Do men pay more attention to social networking? Yes.

Technology can be addictive and lets you socialise with everyone at once - just not the people right in front of you, who are ultimately the most important in your life. Somewhere along the way we've learnt to switch on the power and switch off those around us.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We have a rule in this house. No computer/games unless we're both doing it.

Or one is sleeping. lol. Like now. Hubs is still sleeping.

However, I used to be addicted to the computer because I wasn't getting any conversation at home. One word answers don't count as 'stimulating conversation'. Hubs gets that now. I love to talk and talk about things. We always had great conversations but then things got quiet. I tried to talk to him and he'd just answer one word. Now we have great conversations again and follow our technology rule. Our phones don't get internet.

My friends live in my computer LOL Well, they live in other states and the internet is cheaper and easier than the phone. but when he gets home, the computer goes away now. It works for us.


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## Gratitude (Feb 12, 2012)

that_girl said:


> I love to talk and talk about things.


:rofl: Me too. I think I may talk too much though, my husband now just does the old head nod and "uh huh", "yes dear". And then I realise I haven't stopped to breathe for like 5 minutes. I LOVE to talk. I'm not a sit in the house for hours being silent type of person. He thinks the female species just love to talk a lot. Yeah, probably! :smthumbup:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea, most of the time I'm on here, effing around...or on FB, talking to my other married friends. LOL All of our husbands work long days so we're home with the kids a lot. We keep each other's sanity in check.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

that_girl said:


> My friends live in my computer LOL Well, they live in other states and the internet is cheaper and easier than the phone. but when he gets home, the computer goes away now. It works for us.


It is actually a little cramped in here, so if you could get a bigger computer, it would be much appreciated.


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