# Comparing sex like to past relationships



## Hurra (Sep 13, 2009)

Is it wrong to compare your sex life with your spouse to past relationships? I like to say how much better a past relationship of mine was but concerned it could make matters worse.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Nothing wrong with comparing sexual experiences, just keep it to yourself. No one wants to hear that they re not as good in bed as someone else you slept with.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I like Chris's response...  Comparing in your head is ok, but verbalizing, not so much. If you're going to do anything, maybe bring up some things that you'd like to try (or you'd like your spouse to try) from previous relationships. But I wouldn't mention that they were things you've done in the past.

Yes, you CAN make things worse! 

C


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## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

Nothing wrong about having a fantasy about ur ex as long as u dont act on it, we are only human lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

What I have now is much better than what I had before. Size is much bigger, erection is much harder, skills are much higher. 

Wa ha ha, I am happy!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I have only been with one man, so all the comparing I have is only in my head, just my imagination. Even that has run wild at times. Sometimes I wonder if it was best I have never been with another, played the sexual field just a little. When I see these types of questions though, I can see that might have made things just a little more tormenting. 

These are one of the main issues presented with the "remaining pure till marraige" crowd, to avoid these hangups- that might haunt us in future relationships. 

I too, think it would only hurt, if you brought it up to her. I am all for honesty almost 100% of the time but in this case, I really think it is best to not go there. Get her some books to help spice it up. Would this offend her? We can all use some further education to "be better in the sack". 

I loved this one Amazon.com: Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (9780060834395): Ian Kerner: Books 

Or maybe get one you can read & explore together like this Amazon.com: Sex Is Fun!: Creative Ideas for Exciting Sex (9781583333921): Kidder Kaper: Books


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## Hurra (Sep 13, 2009)

She has asked me such questions in the past but I tried to avoid them or answer yes or no without giving any details. I wish I had given some more details. If she asks again, I may divulge a little more lol

Thanks for the replies.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

My husband has told me everything about what he did in his past. It is so good to know that his past sex life was boring. 

I have told my husband everything about I did in the past, he is fascinated. 

But we are different, I am just glad that my husband is so open about sex and I am the same! 

Some people will find it very bothered.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

I think it is only normal it part of your life, your being, your experiences. Don't we think about everything we have done in our lives past relationships, fun times, sad times, youth, jobs, kids, or whatever it may be.

I'm sure I'm not the best at everything and I doubt my wife thinks she is either. I know who I'm married too, who loves me unconditionally, who sacrifices for me, and tries with all of her heart to make me happy though.

Comparing in the sack is something you do when you are dating after being married for well over a decade it's just a after thought now.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I think a problem with comparing the past too is when you are younger. . .well, the hormones are more acutely produced (at least for men) and you can cum in like 2.4 seconds. This is not a brag (in fact, it could be a confession if you look at it one way) but I had sex 5x in one day when I was younger. I mean, there is no way I could accomplish that without chemical intervention and a lot of oysters and fasting nowadays (and I doubt even that would get me past 3x).

Honestly, nothing can compare to the sex I had when I was 23 years old - quantity and quality. . .but that isn't necessarily a reflection of the partner - oh she was so great and you are, well, okay.

You both can get so dorked up at that point in your life when it comes to sex.

The past and present are always apples and oranges.


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