# Best and worse day



## The bubblerum (Oct 28, 2013)

Today started off eh, I woke up and notice my WW was down and seemed to be moping about. When I aksed her if she was ok, she claimed she was tired. Now this is something she always says when it really is something else. But I didn't care to press. When she got back from work at noon, she was still sad. I asked again she said tired. Didn't care still. She went to get lunch I looked at her cell phones, as I do often since D day. The night previous, I had argued with her about deleting any texts reguardless of who. So, while searching her cell I noticed that her friend, who hates me and wants her to leave me and not to R, had decided no more texting but to only talk verbally. Now while on our way to our first MC session, I brought it up and said that was a tad sneaky and I didn't like it. My WW blew up, she got mad we fought she threw things out the car door, called me all sorts of names. I was calm and just kept bringing up that if she didn't like it to leave. She had the affair and these are my terms for R, at least for now. She screamed and said let me out, started to leave I reached over closed the door. She lunged at me, while I was driving, screaming how she hated me, scratched the hell out of my arm, I mean badly. When this happened I lost it, called her a *****. She started crying. I pulled over and said you can get out, or I can grop you off somewhere but not home. She pleaded for 25 minutes that we should just go to the MC. I reluctently did. The Mc was actually good, I was glad it was a woman, cause I feel a man would just immediate have more sympathy for my pretty wife. Who was wimpering while filling out paper work. Now I didn't hit her or push all I did was prevent her from leaving a moving car, and then grabbed her off me when she scratch and called her the name I regret. But, I felt if it was a guy he would see me as the bully. The MC got my wife to realize how much she hurt me, also that no matter what I had done to "cause this" was irrelevant. She also was from south Africa which I tought was neat cause, do not see many people from over seas in Arizona. After an hour and a half, we were laughing. We went to dinner at my wife's favorite place. Went home, and for the first time, since, I cannot even remember, probly years. We actually made love. Like seriously. Slow, long, looking into eyes. Was amazing. I mean the look on her eyes at the end was not something I had seen in 5 years. So, worse fight ever. Best make up sex in our history. I actually have hope of R for the first time since D day.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

I think that your WW has no feeling of guilt or remorse. Time to see a pshchiatrist?


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

Do not read too much into it and take it very slowly.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Has she gone NC with her toxic friend?


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

harrybrown said:


> Has she gone NC with her toxic friend?


:iagree:

I was just going to ask if there is NC with toxic friends and OM...

Toxic friends will be the death of any R attempt. Especially if they were accomplices to the affair.


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## Bamzor (Aug 15, 2012)

Good for you! You need something positive, to happen. While this is just one step... don't let the guard down. 
The nc with the friend will bring her down.. I sure hope your WS is more open about what she needs to do. Hope she volunteers the nc with op and her friend. Those toxic friends are almost a whole other thread.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Do not read a lot into this. Yes it could be a start and it also could be guilt and not love and it could be to manipulate you. Remember your WW has an A and she lied to you. So her honesty in the way she looked or acted with you could also be a lie.

Just take it slow. R is a long road with pot holes, cracked pavement and bridges wash away.

Sex for re bonding is common. Just take it slow my friend. Not trying to take the wind out of your sails


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## The bubblerum (Oct 28, 2013)

thanks for the advice. Unfortunately she works for the toxic friend. 
You need to understand, how bad of a liar my wife is, I knew, day one about the affair. I know everytime she lies, my children know when she lies. We had to tell my kids that santa and stuff was not real by 6 cause they stopped believing mom. This is actually something I liked when we were dating. It has since become a knife cause as she kept lying about the A. I got stabbed in the heart. Plus when ever I asked her if she was happy she would break down in a way she had never done before. She is a bad poker player. Always has been and no matter how hard she tries always will be. She wears her guilt, shame, sadness and everything in her face and eyes. It is how I knew the first two month of R she was not really sorry. Which is why I had to wake her up with papers. Since I can see it, she is sorry. But she does not know how to make it up to me and is not trying hard enough. That is the thing that is putting the wrench in it for me. But she also might not be able to try to hard cause like I said guilt wears on her face, she might be trying to get back up after I tripped her with the papers. But I don't know just had a great moment and I want to believe a bit again. I hate being angry, sad, and just... this. I am a happy all the time make people laugh person. This blah person is not me and I do not like him. I feel she killed that guy or he is in a coma. I want him back.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

She is not trying.

It takes two working hard for a marriage.

Did she use protection, and if not, has she been tested for stds?


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## The bubblerum (Oct 28, 2013)

no protection, no test yet, im screwed anyways cause she slept with me during the affair


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## verpin zal (Feb 23, 2013)

".........We actually made love."

I feel how you feel.

But while I feel for you, need I remind you that that was "shut up" sex? You (plural) did not make "love". You (singular) made love and she just moved with you in tandem, changed positions and moved and changed positions some more.

You're exactly in the same position with Bodhitree.. your threads, their titles, how you punch your keyboard about what's going on..


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