# I'm devastated my husband is addicted to porn



## caniforgive

I've been lied to so many times by my husband, he watches porn on the internet has joined paltalk forums to watch porn and to show his private parts on his webcam and to comment on others, he has a PO Box that I found out about, called women for massages (I checked his cell phone calls) there are so many more things I could go on and on. We've been married for 17 years and I love him, I know that it doesn't make sense but he can be a very sweet man but I'm very hurt by his actions, he says that he has stopped all of this but why should I believe him? I'm very deppressed and I wish I didn't exist, I want to erase my memory, I can't go on this way.


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## Dellia

It's painful. I've had an issue with porn in the past and if my husband so much as does it one time, I'm gone. He knows my feelings and accepts and it's a respect issue now. If my husband did what yours did, I would feel it as much as if he cheated with a flesh and blood woman. He DID cheat on you! His body is his and yours. Sex is for you and him, not him and whoever. The problem is, he has no self respect, much less, any respect for you. 
So he stopped all of this?
Let me tell you that when a husband does, in fact, stop, he wants more than anything to prove that to you. He will willingly give you all access to all he has. No excuse, no exceptions. Passwords, names, numbers, etc. He will also acknowledge the pain he caused you and listen to you about it. He will show remorse.
I'm sorry for your pain.


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## caniforgive

He says he knows he hurt me, he closed his paltalk accounts that he has been subscribed to for almost 10 years and closed email accounts, I reopened one of the email accounts because I figured out his password because I wanted to know what was going on with that email account, he knows that I did that and he says how can he get over it if I'm just going to drag it on and on. I feel like that is the only way I can find out what he's been doing online. He says it was just a form of entertainment and he wasn't with anyone physically and he can just turn off the computer and that it's just a piece of plastic and not a real person. I used to search the history of the first computer we had then he set the computer to delete history on exit, after that didn't go over well with me he bought a laptop and hid it from me until I found it and on there in the history was adultfriendfinders website, then months later I found another laptop and walk in on him naked while on paltalk, he says he knows he has a problem and was trying to quit and was kind of relieved when Icaught him. There are times when we get along but then there are days when I'm alone and start investigating online to find out what else he's done. I'm obsessed, I can't get over this and he says we never will if I don't let it go, but I can't I'm so hurt.


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## Dellia

I don't blame you for being obsessed. This gets to your very soul. He can say it means nothing and it's just a piece of plastic and he can just turn it off? Well, YOU aren't a piece of plastic and you can't just shut off the pain! He deleted everything to protect himself. You have every right to know all he did and he is throwing the guilt trip on you asking how will you get over it if you keep bringing it up! GRRrr...He needs to understand the depth of your pain caused by his actions. You are not going to heal or forget this for a long time and trust....what about trust? Does he realize he broke that too? He needs to earn that back and he needs to accept that you have rights and questions and need your way of healing, not his! Wow....here you are, the one who has been disrespected and cheated on and what discomfort does HE have? He needs to listen to all you have to say, through all your questions and pain and anger! He needs to deal with that and willingly, if he is really sorry! I'd be digging too, and I did when I went through this. I found alot too. It does eat away at you and you will know when you've seen enough and when you are ready to move on to your next phase of healing. YOU were the one who got hurt and disrespected in your marriage. He wants the easy 'no pain' for him, way out! Good luck to you.


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## beast

Dellia said:


> It's painful. I've had an issue with porn in the past and if my husband so much as does it one time, I'm gone. He knows my feelings and accepts and it's a respect issue now. If my husband did what yours did, I would feel it as much as if he cheated with a flesh and blood woman. He DID cheat on you! His body is his and yours. Sex is for you and him, not him and whoever. The problem is, he has no self respect, much less, any respect for you.
> So he stopped all of this?
> Let me tell you that when a husband does, in fact, stop, he wants more than anything to prove that to you. He will willingly give you all access to all he has. No excuse, no exceptions. Passwords, names, numbers, etc. He will also acknowledge the pain he caused you and listen to you about it. He will show remorse.
> I'm sorry for your pain.


Why dont you just cut his balls off and carry them in your purse? Your insecurity is pathetic.


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## chasing_rainbows

beast said:


> Why dont you just cut his balls off and carry them in your purse? Your insecurity is pathetic.


find a new hobby, troll


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## wiigirl

beast said:


> Why dont you just cut his balls off and carry them in your purse? Your insecurity is pathetic.


Wow...harsh!


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## worriedgirl

Same issues im having, contacted ppl on craigs list. sending pictures of himself naked to other ppl. I confronted him, he deleted accounts, gave me all of his passwords. He said he was sorry and would never do it again. I warned him if it happened again I would find out, I have my ways. I caught him again, same story. He went to sex addiction anonymous. That didnt last long. I told him I dont mind if he looks at porn, but sending pics and chatting is over the line. Now he hides the porn lies about looking at it. I dont want to be lied to. When I come into the bedroom and ask what he is doing I want him to say just looking at some porn, not frantically closing the browser on his phone and saying im not doing anything. I am going to confront him today, its driving me crazy!!


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