# I'm 8 months pregnant and think he's cheating



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I'm 24 and have been married to my husband for 4 years. We have one daughter and another on the way. I'm 8 months along now.

I have suspected my husband of cheating once before. A year after we were married he began to exhibit _different_ behavior. She was/is a family friend of my husbands. I began noticing he was paying more attention to her at parties and would find ways to be by themselves. On one occasion he and her boyfriend were joking around about an attractive woman they met (they were in business together) that day and right after my husband said something, she stormed off. My h waited a minute and said "let me go be peacemaker, don't wanna piss off your woman" (pointing to the boyfriend) and went off to talk to her while she sulked in a corner.

I confronted her about this and she said she was just upset in general and said it was because her boyfriend was contributing to the conversation. I reminded her she left after my husband said something and she just said "well he wasn't helping."

At the time, I was so hormonal and pregnant, I wrote off my worries as being paranoid because of my condition. Then a week later, I noticed each time we would drive by her house, he'd stare to see if she was there or whose car was in the driveway. I found that odd, as he's never done that. Or maybe I just hadn't been paying attention. I was double-guessing myself.

Finally I had enough and confronted him. He said that I was crazy, he'd never cheat and I was acting that way because of my pregnancy. He said he felt that she might like him and felt bad for her because she was dating a "d-ck", but that was it.

I tried snooping, but found no hard evidence. His cell phone was clean, as well as his email. However, he had a work phone through his father that I was never able to investigate, and that goes for his work email as well.

This was a tough time, because I thought I was just acting hysterical. He works out "in the field" and wouldn't answer my phone calls. Another aspect that could be written off as me just being paranoid, I mean, he did have to talk to his customers and is always busy or driving.

Later, about 2 months after the baby was born, I noticed he didn't want to hang out with this couple at all but oddly enough at a party or gatherings, he would talk to him, not her. I asked him "why don't we hang out with John and Jane Doe anymore?" 
My husband had just gone into business for himself and blamed it on this. "Dude's jealous" he said. I asked if he had any problems with Jane and said "I dunno, it's whatever." However, when we saw them again, he'd talk to him but not her. She'd be off in a corner somewhere and be away from where we were.

On one occasion I asked her why did she not just come over and say hello. She said "we don't see you anymore, thought you were mad." Being a new mom, I was tired and probably got lazy with this and assumed it was all in my head. To this day, my h will talk to John but never to Jane. 

My laziness and not wanting to be the "nagging new wife that is acting crazy because she just had a baby", led me to just believe him. Other than what I mentioned above, I couldn't pin anything on him.

Now, currently, I'm suspicious again. 

And yet again, it's a family friend. This time though, it's his cousins girlfriend. They have two children together.

For the past year and a half, we've been tied at the hip with this couple. Fly to Vegas? Let's go. Skiing in Big Bear? Sure. Clubbing in LA? Let me get my shoes. Oh wait, do we have a sitter? :rofl: Now since I'm preggers, it's been dinners and get togethers at their place

Everything has been great, and we get on so well.

Two months ago I've noticed small differences. He's made excuses to go to her place of work. She's a property manager for an apartment complex and the boyfriend lives there, so I didn't think anything of it. 
One day he said he was going to return something to "him" (well call him John2) and I said sure, see ya when you get back. Coincidentally, the next day I run into John2 at the post office and say something like "did my husband pull a drive by yesterday", in reference to him just running and dropping something off. It was a joke, because it's kind of awkward when you run into the male of the couple you've been hanging out with.

He looked at me strangely and just said "huh?" Long story short, he had no idea that he went to their place/her work because he wasn't there.

Asked the husband this and said he didn't think it was a big deal to tell me. 

He's now taking odd ways home, like he's trying to drive by their place/work on purpose. 

He calls her to ask her things about property management that I would think he would already know the answer to, but he says he doesn't.

If his cousin (John2) takes her to a nice restaurant and she posts it on facebook, he comments about his cousin in a negative way. It's like he uses any excuse to bring them up. "Did you hear they're going partying tonight? He drinks too much, I don't know why she stays with him."

And she's been laughing with him much more and staying in his general vicinity at gatherings. It's like she's more connected to him than her own boyfriend.

Am I going crazy? Is this the pregnancy? Are my concerns valid and if they are, what do I start doing?

I'm sorry for the long post.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

It's hard to say what to do because you don't have any real evidence to back up your suspicions, just the red flags that something could be going on (but could also be nothing). Although going to her house without the H there or after work is suspicious...

On one hand, if your husband is cheating or having an EA, or planning on it, confronting him early can nip it in the bud. On the other hand if you confront him without evidence, and he is cheating then he could just take the affair underground.

If something is going on, your H is going to screw up eventually and you'll find evidence of the affair. If it were me, I would try to get a hold of the work phone and email to see if there's any dirt in there. 

Only you know for sure whether you're being paranoid or if something really feels off. If something really does feel off (don't blame hormones, I'm 9 mos. pregnant and found out my spouse was cheating 3 weeks ago) then it is worth looking into. 

Does "John2" know what you mean by "do a drive by last night"? it's a kind of ambiguous thing to say so if he doesn't use that term himself, he might have had no idea what you were talking about. 

How does your husband act when you bring it up? If he's defensive or somehow tries to put the focus back on you and your crazy hormones then that could be a sign that he is cheating. One common tactic cheaters will use is gas lighting in order to make the betrayed spouse feel stupid or guilty for being suspicious.

In my case, I waited until I found evidence before confronting my H because he would gaslight me and I saw through the manipulation after a while. Try to get your hands on the phone/email from work. There are other tips on this site about VARS and keyloggers... I never had to take it that far but it might be worth looking into if you are unable to get a clear-cut answer from your H.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Thank you for responding Miss Taken.

Yes, he knows what "a drive by" means. We've said it before when we need to drop something off. Even after he said "huh", I said "uhhh, yeah, my husband stopped by your place to drop the tools off to you."

He is also an assistant football coach for little kids and just left the house a while ago. He slathered cologne on himself. Not usual.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> Thank you for responding Miss Taken.


YW



delicate_thorn said:


> Yes, he knows what "a drive by" means. We've said it before when we need to drop something off. Even after he said "huh", I said "uhhh, yeah, my husband stopped by your place to drop the tools off to you."


Okay. That sounds like a reason to be suspicious then (at least to me).



delicate_thorn said:


> He is also an assistant football coach for little kids and just left the house a while ago. He slathered cologne on himself. Not usual.


Making sudden changes in appearance/grooming can definitely be a sign of cheating but it's not enough on it's own. Have you noticed any other possible signs in addition to ^this and the one's you've already stated? 

Also, have you brought up your concerns recently to your H? If so, how did/does he act when you do?

I think you do have some red flags to justify snooping but you still need more evidence for a real confrontation with your H... something more concrete but that's just me. I know a few others have gotten confessions out of suspicions alone but for most, it makes the WS just take things even more underground.


----------



## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Can you look at the phone bill to see if there are an abnormally high amount of texts/calls to any particular phone number?

Would you be willing to buy a voice-activated recorder and some heavy-duty velcro and put it under the seat of his car? This probably catches more cheaters than any other thing I see on this site.

Does he still have the work phone and work email?


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Will,

The cell phones are under his name and I don't have the password to the account. I think I might be able to see if I can have the password text msg'd, but I think it may go to his phone.

He is gone right now and won't be home until after 8:30. I have a close friend who has a kid in the pee wee league and she just txt msg'd me that she saw my husband walking around with a woman, away from his team. She doesn't think its a mom of one of the kids because she doesn't recognize her. Although he could be a new kid. I'm waiting for her to text me a pic of the girl if she can get close.

VAR is tough to get. I'm a stay at home mom, and we've been living beyond our means for a few years now, and now we're living with his mom renting a room from her. We're still living beyond our means here. I'll check into it though. Then I'll have to figure out how to get into his work truck and not be too clumsy with this big belly.

And yes he does have a work phone and an email. He doesn't use a laptop, just his work phone with the email easily accessible on there. I've seen that he's put a 4 digit lock on it though.


----------



## MarcuMcall (Sep 7, 2012)

I waited until I found evidence before confronting my H because he would gaslight me and I saw through the manipulation after a while.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

My friend just called me. She wasn't able to get close enough to get a pic because she had to get back to her sons side of the field, about 3 football fields away. She described her though and it sounds a lot like his cousins girlfriend.
I'm glad I gave my friend heads up about this. Hopefully she'll be able to check out what he's doing there.

I can't tell him that I know he was walking around with a woman, so I'll just ask him how practice went I guess. They let the kids cut out a little early, so husband should be here 10 minutes early.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Yikes, I really hope he's not cheating but it is getting fishier and fishier with each update.  

The lock is definitely suspicious (those with nothing to hide, hide nothing) and the cologne + strange woman at the game are not good at all. 

Keep updating, hopefully more people will chime in and give you more advice.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> I can't tell him that I know he was walking around with a woman, so I'll just ask him how practice went I guess. They let the kids cut out a little early, so husband should be here 10 minutes early.


Playing it cool is probably the best right now but boy does that suck. I'm so sorry you're in this situation (I can relate - not fun).


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

He's still not home yet. Usually gets home right around 8:30, and practice was finished early.

Should I call him? I'm freaking out now. Ugh. Maybe I'll call him and ask him to go to the store? I'm drawing a blank as to what excuse to use to call...


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

This is a bit of an aside but my ex was very good at making me doubt myself by gas lighting me and making me feel stupid for having suspicions even though those suspicions proved to be valid. 

While I was still pursuing evidence to confirm his cheating, one thing I did was write a list of everything he did/was doing that was suspicious and kept a log of dates/times etc. and a little explanation of what happened. For example, he got off work at 8:00 pm and was usually home at 8:30 at the latest (usually 8:10/8:15 pm. If he went grocery shopping after work, he'd come home much later like around 10:00 or 10:30 pm.

It turned out that he was using grocery shopping as an alibi/cover to disappear for an hour/hour-and-a-half because most of the receipts said he finished shopping around 8:30 pm. 



delicate_thorn said:


> Should I call him? I'm freaking out now. Ugh. Maybe I'll call him and ask him to go to the store? I'm drawing a blank as to what excuse to use to call...


^I'm assuming it's too late to advise on this??? Did you end up calling him or not?


----------



## GotMeWonderingNow (May 31, 2012)

Miss Taken said:


> While I was still pursuing evidence to confirm his cheating, one thing I did was write a list of everything he did/was doing that was suspicious and kept a log of dates/times etc. and a little explanation of what happened.


Definitely do this. Write everything down. Something that might not seem important now could snap into place sometime next week when you find out something new. I'd write everything down about my wife, then a week later I might find a receipt that I could check against my records to ensure she was going where she told me.


----------



## GotMeWonderingNow (May 31, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> VAR is tough to get. I'm a stay at home mom, and we've been living beyond our means for a few years now, and now we're living with his mom renting a room from her. We're still living beyond our means here. I'll check into it though. Then I'll have to figure out how to get into his work truck and not be too clumsy with this big belly.


Depending on the car it could be tricky - I find it a bit of an experience with no belly to fit the VAR under my wife's seat and satisfy myself that its fixed well enough that it won't fall.



delicate_thorn said:


> He doesn't use a laptop, just his work phone with the email easily accessible on there. I've seen that he's put a 4 digit lock on it though.


The lock is a red flag unfortunately.


----------



## GotMeWonderingNow (May 31, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> Then a week later, I noticed each time we would drive by her house, he'd stare to see if she was there or whose car was in the driveway. I found that odd, as he's never done that. Or maybe I just hadn't been paying attention. I was double-guessing myself.


I know how you feel. I have no proof of a PA for my wife and she claims that for the OM I most suspect that she doesn't know where he lives. I do know where he lives, however, and whenever we drive past his street her head seems to snap to the right and look, for something... She doesn't do it every time, but I know what you are feeling. Something just isn't right, or is it just paranoia?


----------



## chumplady (Jul 27, 2012)

Usually, i would say don't confront unless you have evidence, because they always gaslight and lie. 

But in your case, I'd say -- I want to see your phone, unlocked. I want to see the phone bill. NOW. I want you to log into your work email from home NOW.

People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. 

If he balks, if he gets defensives, if he puts it back on YOU, you're hormonal, you're nuts -- if he does ANYTHING other than immediately show you and assuage your fears?

Then IMO he's cheating. 

The gut is rarely wrong and he is behaving very suspiciously. Not answering the phone, staying out late, lying to you about returning something to the cousin, locking the phone -- all red flags.

Demand to see his phone NOW. Demand to see the bill NOW. Don't let him make excuses or hesitate. 

Let's say he's innocent (I don't think he is), but say he is -- his first concern should be a compassionate one. Honey, I don't want you to be upset. OMG, how could you think such a thing, let me put your mind at rest.

If he doesn't do that? There is your answer.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Husband came home around 9:30pm. A hour later than usual despite being let go early from practice.

Friend reported that near the end of practice he was pacing around on his cell phone. The woman that he was walking with earlier wasn't with him. He was not on the phone with me at the time.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

chumplady said:


> Usually, i would say don't confront unless you have evidence, because they always gaslight and lie.
> 
> But in your case, I'd say -- I want to see your phone, unlocked. I want to see the phone bill. NOW. I want you to log into your work email from home NOW.
> 
> ...


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:


----------



## chumplady (Jul 27, 2012)

You need to demand to see those cell phone records. If he's innocent he has no reason not to show you.

Did he mention why he was late?


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn

I am coming from the perspective of a WH... you are NOT being hormonal... Take it from experience, this is not just read flag but a burning building. Everything you describe sounds more like a fire than just mere smoke. 

I agree... if you don't have the resources to do a thorough investigation (which is probably the 1st option), it is time for him to put up or shut up. I would also suggest you look at bank statements and cc statements. If you (that is your family) is strapped for cash, I have a feeling I know why.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

He said that he went to have happy hour with one of the coaches. Unfortunately for me, it's an old crabby coach that doesn't have a wife I can verify this with, and in my condition, I have not been to any football practices since last year.

Maybe I'll mention going with him to practice, just to see how he reacts. I think I'll tell him I'll pick him up a little early from practice so him and I can go get appetizers together.

I did phone him while he was out. He did not answer. He said he did not get a missed call, probably cuz they were in a bad area of the restaurant. 

Interesting revelation today. As I said, we live with his mom because we've over extended ourselves on our bills, so we're trying to get rid of debt. His cousin and daughter came over and I go out to say hi to them. Their daughter made it sound like she's seen my husband in the last day or two. Her father/husbands cousin was not around to hear this.
As they were leaving, I told him "**** (my husband) is going to miss you! Too bad you stopped by when he wasn't here. How long has it been since you last saw each other? A whole week?"

He said yeah, maybe a lil' longer.

Hmmm.

I just remembered the cell phone bill also arrives at the house. He was going to have it only emailed, but he forgot. Should I confront tonight or wait to get the records?

Weird thing is, his mom checks the mail and makes it a point to keep the mail in her room until my husband gets home. She only gives him our mail. I never get it.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

drerio said:


> delicate_thorn
> 
> I am coming from the perspective of a WH... you are NOT being hormonal... Take it from experience, this is not just read flag but a burning building. Everything you describe sounds more like a fire than just mere smoke.
> 
> I agree... if you don't have the resources to do a thorough investigation (which is probably the 1st option), it is time for him to put up or shut up. I would also suggest you look at bank statements and cc statements. If you (that is your family) is strapped for cash, I have a feeling I know why.


You're right. I should look at the cc statements. I hadn't thought of that.


----------



## Lifeisnotsogood2 (Sep 1, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> Will,
> 
> The cell phones are under his name and I don't have the password to the account. I think I might be able to see if I can have the password text msg'd, but I think it may go to his phone.
> 
> ...


Try some common 4-digit pins, like his atm card, etc.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> You're right. I should look at the cc statements. I hadn't thought of that.


A typical cheater's trick... Buy through Paypal. If see these Question him "what are these?"


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

He came home today and told me he was getting ready to go to practice. I reminded him he didn't have practice today. He changed it to that he meant he was going to have dinner with another (single) coach. 
I told him I wanted to go, he said no, I'd be bored and that he'll try and come back early to spend time with me.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

He's gone now and I just remembered that since we both have iPhones, I can do that "lost iPhone" thing to see exactly where he's at.

Should I use this to go spy on him?

He said he wasn't sure where they were going to go eat.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> He said that he went to have happy hour with one of the coaches. Unfortunately for me, it's an old crabby coach that doesn't have a wife I can verify this with, and in my condition, I have not been to any football practices since last year.
> 
> Maybe I'll mention going with him to practice, just to see how he reacts. I think I'll tell him I'll pick him up a little early from practice so him and I can go get appetizers together.
> 
> ...


This is complicated... mom is covering for him (I don't know if it is intentional, but not good). 

I like the idea of you showing up at practice. If possible, it would be even better if you showed up to practice unexpected. Not sure if you have another source of transportation. 

If you were like my wife at this gestational stage, you probably wake up sometimes in the middle of the night. Might be a nice time to "accidently" misplace his phone. When he looks for it to go to work, just innocently say "haven't seen it babe". You could then watch the phone calls coming in throughout the day and record time and from who. 

Cheaters typically have their AP call or contact them the same time everyday.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> He came home today and told me he was getting ready to go to practice. I reminded him he didn't have practice today. He changed it to that he meant he was going to have dinner with another (single) coach.
> I told him I wanted to go, he said no, I'd be bored and that he'll try and come back early to spend time with me.


Ugh... "no babe I won't be bored, love to spend the time with you." You need to get those phone records from his mom. 

You know... as I said, I was a WH, I paid for my stupidity and take no pride in my actions whatsoever. While I may not have gone to the extent of a PA, makes no difference to me... an A is an A and it is taking away from you and your family only to give to some home wrecking wench. 

If it is found that he is having an affair... and he really wants to make amends, you tell him to contact me... I will tell him how he will need to grovel and meet your every need for a looooong time. I really wish you the best, please take care of yourself... your babies deserve to be loved by both parents and by not showing respect for their mom he certainly is not showing his love for his children.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> He's gone now and I just remembered that since we both have iPhones, I can do that "lost iPhone" thing to see exactly where he's at.
> 
> Should I use this to go spy on him?
> 
> He said he wasn't sure where they were going to go eat.


These are Ok... they have a large radius, however it can help to corroborate where he was when you ask him (after he comes home).


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Thank you drerio so much!!!

He's out right now. I'm trying to remember how to locate a lost iphone to see where he's at.

I'm so sick of this. I'm ready to drive where he's at right now.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

delicate_thorn said:


> thing is, his mom checks the mail and makes it a point to keep the mail in her room until my husband gets home. She only gives him our mail. I never get it.


 Not weird. Goes right in step with him cheating every time you get pregnant. His mom has raised him to believe that only HE matters, that you are the source of all his problems, that you can't be trusted, and that he deserves all the happiness he wants.

You're screwed.

You don't have a car?


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

delicate_thorn said:


> He's gone now and I just remembered that since we both have iPhones, I can do that "lost iPhone" thing to see exactly where he's at.
> 
> Should I use this to go spy on him?
> 
> He said he wasn't sure where they were going to go eat.


OF COURSE you should use it to find out where he is.

Then you should get in SOMEONE's car (if you don't have one, borrow one) and go find him and confront him.

Trust me, strength is the ONLY thing that will make a difference at this point.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> Thank you drerio so much!!!
> 
> He's out right now. I'm trying to remember how to locate a lost iphone to see where he's at.
> 
> I'm so sick of this. I'm ready to drive where he's at right now.


Do you have access to computer at home? I am not sure you can do phone to phone access... I will check.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

drerio said:


> you probably wake up sometimes in the middle of the night. Might be a nice time to "accidently" misplace his phone. When he looks for it to go to work, just innocently say "haven't seen it babe". You could then watch the phone calls coming in throughout the day and record time and from who.


i love that idea!


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I found where he's at. He's at Applebee's. 

I have a car that is sitting with no gas because he says I don't need too much gas, since I don't go anywhere. Jerk.

I'm borrowing his moms car. Told her I wanted to go run to the store to buy her son a surprise.

I'm off.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> I found where he's at. He's at Applebee's.
> 
> I have a car that is sitting with no gas because he says I don't need too much gas, since I don't go anywhere. Jerk.
> 
> ...


This is good, just please be careful


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

He's here and I think that's her car in the very front but it's right next to the patio where people are sitting. 
Don't want to drive by and have him see me of he's out there too. 

I'm calling his cousins house and asking for her. 
If she's not there I'm going to be sick.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Wow, the mom sounds controlling/enabling.

I can't believe he doesn't give you enough gas to leave the house - also sounds very controlling. Yet he can go have dinner with these "coaches"?!

OMG, suspense is killing me. This is so horrible to read.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I'm going to be sick

Called his cousin and she's not at home. She's suppose at school right now. 
I told him it was an emergency and one of my family members was getting evicted and I needed her advice. 

He tried to call her and text and he just called me back saying she didn't respond. 

Do I sit here and wait. What do I dI if they walk out together
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

His mom just text messages me if I'm
Okay. I haven't even been gone a hour.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

It really looks like her car
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> It really looks like her car
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Write down license plate no


----------



## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

delicate_thorn said:


> It really looks like her car
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If they walk out together you waddle your cute butt over to them...hell nothing would stop me from going to their table now...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

drerio said:


> Write down license plate no


I can't get close enough. It's a wrap around patio and you have to stop at a sign right in front of it. 
I don't want him to see me if he's really with a coach

I think I'm too afraid to really deal with this
I want to go inside but I'm shaking, waiting
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I think I'm going to throw up

cousin called and said he talked to the possible other woman and she said she was going to call me back soon but she went out with some girls to get drinks. 
I think they r here together

His mom called and said my baby is getting a fever and if I can come home
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I drove by. It's her car. I'm waiting on the other side of the parking lot hoping they leave together in the next 5 minutes. 
How do I deal with this??!!???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

meh

He sees you outside and he called his widdle mommy to sick her on you.

Disgusting.

thorne, YOU DON'T OWE YOUR MIL ANYTHING TONIGHT. Do what YOU need to do. She is LYING about your baby. Ignore her. NOTHING is going to make her think you are good enough, even if you rushed home right now.

Do you have a friend who can come meet you at the restaurant?


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

delicate_thorn said:


> I drove by. It's her car. I'm waiting on the other side of the parking lot hoping they leave together in the next 5 minutes.
> How do I deal with this??!!???
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 YOU GET MAD AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!

How DARE he do this to you!

For God's sake, thorne, get SPITTING MAD AT HIM! 

If it was me, I would be IN THAT RESTAURANT WALKING RIGHT UP TO BOTH OF THEM RIGHT NOW!

Embarrass the HELL out of him. How DARE he?


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

If nothing else, get the camera set up on your phone right now. Take a picture of the restaurant with her license plates in sight. Then take a picture of HIS license plates with the restaurant in sight. You're going to need them when you go to the lawyer and take him for every cent he earns for the next 20 years.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

his mom keeps calling. She told me I'm being irresponsible by being pregnant and out this late
I hung up. 

I want to go inside but I'm shaking do bad. I will ignore my mil and wait though
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

Take deep breaths. Release them. Take another and release. Calm yourself.

His mother is doing everything she can to get you to come home. She is covering for him. So, she wills ay those things. She will make you feel bad about yourself or concerned for your child.

If you want to wait, take that time to be useful. Take pictures of license plates. Also, I would snap one of them leaving together.

If it were me, however, I would be in there. I would say something like "I didn't know she was a coach on your team, now?" But, that is just me, and I tend to get sarcastic when mad. 

Get mad. Harness that energy so you can do what you need to do.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Do you have a friend you can call to come sit with you?

thorn, you know this is going to blow up tonght, right? No matte what happens, you're going to have to face this tonight - between your MIL accusing you and your husband knowing you were out, you are going to HAVE to deal with this tonight. I really don't think you're safe being with his family.

Isn't there SOMEONE you can call, where you can take your baby and spend the night? Someone who is on YOUR side?


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I'm calling a friend to see if I can stay with her

He walked out with her and kissed her goodbye 
I stood outside the car thinking they would drive by me but he 
was closer to the other exit. She was closer to my exit but followed him. 

I got video 
It's far and shaky but I got something at least 

I'm calling him and he's sending me to voicemail
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

i don't know who this man is. He just txt msg'd me that he ran into an old friend and they r going to catch up at his house. He's going to text me on the way home. 
he asked if I was hungry so he can pick up something for me on his way back

I have no words...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Id go to that skanks house and give her a verbal beatdown
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

thorn is 8 months' pregnant.

thorn, go home, get your son, and go to your friend's house. PLEASE!


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

thorn, please let us know if you're ok. When you have a chance.


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

Ask that friend to come and get you, go to your MIL, and get your child. This situation doesn't sound safe. Protect your unborn child, your other child, and yourself.

You have the evidence. Keep it, and stay with a friend tonight.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> his mom keeps calling. She told me I'm being irresponsible by being pregnant and out this late
> I hung up.
> 
> I want to go inside but I'm shaking do bad. I will ignore my mil and wait though
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And, her F*cken son is an angel? Give me a break mama's boy.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> I'm calling a friend to see if I can stay with her
> 
> He walked out with her and kissed her goodbye
> I stood outside the car thinking they would drive by me but he
> ...


I am so sorry... please take care of yourself and your kiddo.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

drerio said:


> I am so sorry... please take care of yourself and your kiddo.


I second that. That's HORRIBLE! I'm so sorry Thorn. I feel like a real @ss for doubting you earlier.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

thorn, are you ok?


----------



## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

Thorn, please let us know how you are. Most of us have been in your situation, or close to it. We understand. We hope you are okay and with your friend, out of that house!


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Shoshannah said:


> Thorn, please let us know how you are. Most of us have been in your situation, or close to it. We understand. We hope you are okay and with your friend, out of that house!


I echo the same... Please let us know you are safe.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Thank you everyone for your concern!! Yes I am okay, and I truly appreciate your help and concern for me!

So let me update as to what happened:

The last I've seen of my husband was him driving away, with his cousins girlfriend following him.

He then text messaged me that he was going to go catch up with an old male friend and would text me on the way home. I have no doubts that he probably rented a room to have sex with her, or maybe even went to have sex in one of the vacant apartments she manages (she manages 3 properties, all a short drive away).

I could not get a hold of my girlfriend, so I went back home to the MIL's house. I did have to give her back her car. When I got home, she was already ready for a night on the town. Basically, she went to go get drunk with a bunch of her works friends. When I pulled up into the driveway, the front door was open and she had keys in hand. I didn't even have to turn off the car. 

She didn't say a word to me. She was angry because I made her be late, I guess. My daughter wasn't even sick?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
What a grandmother.

With all of that happening, I grabbed a handful of our clothes and left. I called my parents, who are currently on vacation, and asked if I could stay. Up until recently, I hadn't spoken to my parents in 2 years because of issues regarding my husband. I realized what an idiot I've been and started communication with them. 
I was bawling on the phone, thinking they would tell me "well we told you so", but they didn't and my mom just consoled me.

I cried and shook, and finally fell asleep at 4 this morning. I dreamed of my husband and that we were at the movies. I woke up to a much harsher reality. When I checked my phone, there were no calls, only text messages from him.
Obviously, not much concern from him. They began at around 1am, so I'm assuming that's when he finally got in.


----------



## lisab0105 (Oct 26, 2011)

Thorn, did you tell him that you knew he was cheating? Call his cousin and tell him his gf is cheating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I woke up in a different mood. My sadness was now anger. 
Not only at him, but at myself. For giving up things for a man, but that's a longer story.

It finally dawned on me that I left with nothing. And if I told my husband what I knew and that I was leaving him, it would take me calling the police to get my stuff. Maybe even have to deal with a screaming MIL. 
See, when we've fought, my husband has always pointed what he's bought. What is his, and what he's going to keep, even down to my underwear.

If I leave now, I'm not getting anything without cops and drama, something I want to avoid in my condition. However, I've come to a conclusion: I need to leave the smart way and I need to get more proof. Mainly to show the cousin. He might be in denial and say they just ran into each other there and were just talking. Or maybe I should just expose with what I have.

Yes, I have a video of him kissing her, but the video shows her getting into her car and him leaning down. She has jet black tinted windows and while we all know what went down, they'll lie and say that he was just talking to her. I need more proof because I want to expose.

I want to leave with all of my things, and also some money. If I do it today, it's going to be a battle. I'd rather leaving with nothing be held over my head, and then burn them.

I spoke to the husband this morning. He asked why I wasn't at home. I told him I felt lonely, he's been gone, and our relationship hasn't been right and that I needed space. I told him we needed to talk to get things back in order. He said he would go to his family for advice.

As of right now, we have a family party to attend later today. I'm going to have to grit my teeth to get through it and his cousin and his girlfriend/other woman will be there.

I need advice. I'm prepared to leave on Monday or Tuesday while he has long work days and can get my ducks in a row. How should I game plan this?

I'm not one to make haste decisions, but I don't think I'll be able to get over him cheating with his cousins girlfriend. Who does that? My God, they have children together. What future will they have together? And how confusing for their children. As I mentioned earlier, their daughter has already implied my husband has visited the cousins girlfriend while the kids are there.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Thorn

First off all I'm glad you and your kids are safe. I urge you at this point to draw closer to your parents. Given what have described about your MIL, I don't think you will get much help there. 

At some point you will need to communicate with your H... You will need to find out if he has any desire to remain married and if so, you need to lay down some ultimatums. I hate to say it you may have consult with an attorney to find out your options in worst case scenario. 

Please stay connected here. You will find good people here.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

lisab0105 said:


> Thorn, did you tell him that you knew he was cheating? Call his cousin and tell him his gf is cheating.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This would be a good first communication.... "so when did your cousin's gf start coaching football? Is it normal to kiss the coach?". Best done over phone for your protection. I would be careful with letting him know where you are.... Please think safe.


----------



## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

You have a good plan. Please lean on your parents. It sounds like they care a lot about you. Tell them everything and let them help you get out of this. If they are like most loving parents, they will jump at the chance to put the past behind you all and help you. They will probably love a chance to get to know they're little grandchildren. Thank you for keeping us updated. I'm praying for you.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Be careful in just moving things out... And since there are children involved it is imperative that your first move is to consult an attorney. You need to find out what is possible. I would make an excuse (child sick) to avoid this family function.


----------



## chumplady (Jul 27, 2012)

Make a plan and move out when he is NOT around or expecting it. Be an actress now. Blame your hormones. But GET OUT. I did this once, moved an entire house in 5 hrs -- loaded up the van and left. I made a spreadsheet and took pix of EVERYTHING I LEFT -- you do that too, so he can't make crap up.

You stay sane by planning. Then go into action.

Please lean on your parents. It sounds like they saw through him sooner.

Your MIL is psycho. The poison apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Once you've left him (and DO NOT TIP YOUR HAND), you move half the money out (legally that's okay) into a new account ONLY YOU HAVE. Also change your cell number, go NC on him. 

Then you talk to a lawyer and get temporary support orders drawn up immediately. He has to pay you CS, even if you are not divorced.

Sweetie, you can do this. You are MIGHTY. One step at a time -- but leave the cheating bast*rd. 

Also, tell the cousin later. It's his problem if he doesn't believe you. YOU come first right now.


----------



## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

Definately re-build the relationship with your parents & family. You need that support. They can probably help with advice as to what steps you need to take. If they start to verbally bash your H, just gently pull them up. Even when my H was at his worst with his A, I didn't like my mother saying bad things about him.
It seems that you will get no help whatsoever with your MIL. You have no idea what your H has told her about you. He may have said that all of the issues are your fault & turned her against you.
Please keep yourself safe, try not to loose control of yourself around your H & his family. If you need to get away from the family gathering, just plead tiredness. 
And remember, this is not your fault. Your H & the woman made the choice to go down this path, you did not force him to.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

chumplady said:


> Make a plan and move out when he is NOT around or expecting it. Be an actress now. Blame your hormones. But GET OUT. I did this once, moved an entire house in 5 hrs -- loaded up the van and left. I made a spreadsheet and took pix of EVERYTHING I LEFT -- you do that too, so he can't make crap up.
> 
> You stay sane by planning. Then go into action.
> 
> ...


I like this idea... I would like to amend my suggestion. This is good to make a spreadsheet of everything you took. Agree, getting away and getting your kid and kid to be out of that situation is important. Contact a lawyer shortly thereafter.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Thorn

We are not being nosy or voyeuristic, however please keep in touch, let us know how things are going. Mainly want to know you are safe. While I certainly cannot give legal advice and none of us can replace your parents we still want to lend you some moral and emotional support. I meant it, there are good people here with salient advice. You have heard some already. 

Find some time to cry, but also it is important to find opportunities to laugh. I know I don't have to tell you, please take care of your babies...


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Ask your parents to loan you money to see a lawyer and set up a legal protection. Your husband may think (because of his mother whispering in his ear) that he owns everything, down to your underwear, but he is wrong.

If you are married, you are entitled to half of your debt but also have of your property AND a good chunk of his income, now that he's the father of two. The lawyer can set up a legal document that makes you feel safe, no matter what your husband and his mother try to do.

For the time being, I assume you went home to him. That's fine; no quick decisions. This will be the hardest acting job of your life - pretending all's well. Just give him quick answers, remember that you don't have to do anything he says. You are an equal human being with equal rights. Remember that; I imagine they've done a good job of making you think otherwise. 

Take this time to be smart, slow, purposeful, and decide what you want. And above all, take care of yourself! Make sure you and your baby are safe! Note that we are not telling you to leave your husband. We don't know him; he may just be bigheaded because of his mom. (though I don't think so, as he is a serial cheater now and obviously thinks he is more important than you, and I would never accept that)

Are you in the US?


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Well the sh-t hit the fan last night ladies. I'll be back to post after I eat breakfast.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Stay safe!


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

turnera said:


> Stay safe!


"Agree" said in my highest voice 

On a more serious point, I would especially be careful around your MIL.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Will do. I'll post soon.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Frostrose (Aug 1, 2012)

Really sorry this happened to you.Get back with your parents focus on your two babies.Stay away from your husband.You have been through too much right now.You don't want to go to an early labor.


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

I just want to echo a third voice. Stay safe. Think of the safety of your babies, and create some distance between yourself and your husband and his mother. You are pregnant, and the last thing you need is this stress. I'm sorry that you are going through this.


----------



## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

run

leave

run!

or else stay and suffer the pain


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Okay ladies, thank you again for your concern. It means so much to me, but now I need advice.

Here is what happened over the weekend:

Husband picked me up from my parents house and was happy to see our daughter. He was apologetic to me and said he wanted to discuss our problems and solve them (apart from him cheating, I didn't think that we had major problems besides bad spending habits).
On the drive to his grandparents house, he was distant. Deep in thought. Maybe he had the other woman in mind? Probably.
He even mentions me staying at home and he'll just take our daughter, so I can rest. 

As someone else mentioned, I'm in the mindset of being an actress. I can't let this blow up until today or Tuesday, to be in the best position to leave. I just can't show my hand.

We're there for his grandfathers birthday and the other woman arrives about an hour or two in. She's alone. Apparently, she's waiting my husbands cousin/her boyfriend to arrive from work. She barely says hi to me and acts cordial to my husband. They shake hands (they use to hug) and that's about it. I do catch my husband looking around for someone when she's not around (her, probably).

At one point, not too late in the evening (maybe around 6pm or so), his grandfather gets up to thank everyone for coming to his birthday. He says that his greatest achievement is raising "great men." My husband and his brothers were basically raised by their grandfather, a notorious cheater and abuser (that everyone talks about, but no one acknowledges enough to have a true discussion).

So he gets up and says the greatest thing in life, is to have raised these great men (husband and his brothers) and tells the wife of my husbands oldest brother to agree with him. He says "Sandy, do you agree I raised a great man that you have there?" and she says yes, and then goes on to say what a wonderful man he is. And then he does this with each brother and their wife. With the wife saying how wonderful her husband is.

It was just so strange and in light of what I just discovered, I'm not happy and not willing to participate. Even my husbands sisters get involved and remind some of the wives of the great things they forgot to mention about the husbands. 

So now he gets to my husband, and I'm on the verge of tears. I mean, I'm ready to blow it out of the water. And his grandfather asks me "------, did I raise a great man in your husband" and as I'm ready to just let my husband have it, I look around and see all the eyes of his family are square on me. So I take a breath, try not to cry and say "I'm sorry, I've gotta pee so bad. I'll be right back" and I walk as quickly as I can, away from that.

I chickened out because I was outnumbered. And then the sh-t hit the fan.

I ran to go check on our daughter who was playing in the house and then went to go pee, because lets face it, I always have to go. When I opened the door, there was the jerk standing right in front of it. We went to a bedroom, he shut the door, and was furious. He said I made him look stupid, I made him look like an idiot, his grandpa his disappointed, if I were a good wife have waited the 2 seconds and spoke like all of the other wives did.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Continued...

and why did I at least agree with his grandpa that he raised a great man and on and on and on.

So I'm taking it for a good 2 or 3 minutes until he finally lets up and I tel him, because he's not a great man and why he's not a great man and as much as I want to, I don't mention cheating.

He interrupts me and says "I've put up with your sh-t long enough tonight, I'm taking you home" and I said that's fine, but I'm not leaving without my daughter. Not only do I not want my daughter around the other woman, but they typically party until midnight or one in the morning. My daughter is going to be asleep by herself because my husband won't be with her.

So it's a quiet ride home and I come home and start organizing my things to get ready to leave today. Like everyone else says, I write a list. I'm also thinking about our debts and what's my name on, etc.

So it's a nice night really, just me and my baby. I'm actually calm, because I was so disgusted at what I saw at his grandparents. I don't want to be apart of this family anymore.

So my husband sleeps over at his grandparents, and at least he text msg's me that. He says he's angry and has been drinking, and it's better for him to sleep it off. Good. Fine. More time for me to wash all of my clothes and get ready for today.

But I'm also wondering if the cousin ever got there. Right as I'm thinking that, I get a phone call. My husbands other cousin (sister to the cousin that has the gf that my husband is messing around with) calls and is pissed at me. She says my husband and his cousin got into a fight and why didn't I stop him, etc. I was like wait, what?

I explain I wasn't even there at that point. Apparently, husband and his cousin got into a fist fight over a baseball team, with my husband getting crazy angry for nothing and throwing the first punch, as she said. 
She said that my husband just went off as soon as he got there, talking crap to his cousin and things led from there.

Of course, I'm sure this revolved around his anger watching cousin and his girlfriend/other woman carry on in front of him. But who can blame her, she has a charade to put forth.


----------



## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

You did the exact, right thing. Keep your plan to leave ASAP.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Good. You did great. Had you already had your exit plotted, you could have blown him out of the water at the party, but it wasn't time yet. You have to protect yourself first. You can tell them all later. Maybe on facebook.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

So Sunday he comes home, bruised face and all and is just angry and short with me. He's home all day but mostly with his mom and our daughter. 
I so badly want to leave and be by myself, but then that will really tip my hand and I can't have that.
So we barely speak until the end of the night when he tries to have sex with me. Oh wait, he just wants oral. How nice of him.

He left this morning at 6am and usually is done with work by 5pm or 6pm.

So as soon as he left (I already had one eye open), I started organizing my things. After that I jumped in the shower and got ready while my daughter slept and waited for the crazy MIL to leave to work. And as soon as she did, I started packing my car up.

Another hour or so, I left.

I drove to the bank on a nearly empty tank, took out 1/2 our money, went to the grocery store to buy some food for the next few days, visited the bank in the grocery store and opened my own account. Filled up my gas tank and now I'm at my parents.

He has no idea. I took the laptop that we share so I can spend today going over everything, and to get into his cell phone and email account. And I did. 

I found that he's been text messaging her and emailing her. I now have pics of them together. How nice. At one point, the text messaging and calls abruptly stops to nothing. Then I noticed in his iTunes account, that on that same day he downloaded a phone app that gives him another number.
I usually check our bank account but ignore when I see iTunes receipts.
Now that I see detailed receipts in his iTunes accounts, I see he's been buying minutes on that app. 100 here, 500 there, and the last couple of ones were for 1000 minutes. Sneaky piece of sh-t.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

So now I'm at my parents and I parked my car in their garage while they are out on vacation. I even made a comment to him, well, I lied to him on Sunday and said my mom was acting stupid with me on Saturday night when I called her to discuss our marital problems.
I told him I don't think I'll speak to them for a while.
Yeah right, I just need a place to not be bothered for a few days.

So I have everything I need and want and now I want to expose.

Who do I expose to? Just his mom? Cousin too? Should I call the other woman?


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

Don't call the OW. Your first call should be to the other woman's boyfriend. Be prepared to provide proof. Also, because your H doesn't seem stable, collect copies of all proof and hide them in a couple different places.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You expose to the cousin and the cousins sister for sure.

You should consider exposing to his brothers and sister, but you should include some of the really damning evidence when you do so there is no way he can lie.

You should also expose to close friends so they won't help him track you down or provide cover for him.


----------



## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

Firstly, make sure you & your daughter are safe before you start exposing. You can expect your H to be very angry & he has already shown he will throw a punch around. Are their neighbours at your parent's house that you trust or do you have other siblings/family? When are your parents due back?
Definately contact the cousin with the information about his g/f. Make sure you are concise with the facts, expect he may not want to believe you, but offer to email him evidence of how much contact is going on.
You can try his mother, but from the sounds of it, she will likely not care & believe if he is cheating, it is all your fault. Do not tell her where you are. I would not tell any of his family your whereabouts.


----------



## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

Who do you have to expose too? Didnt you have the most prisine opportuniy to expose when thy asked you directly? Which BS on TAM ever got that opportunty? Expose to them all!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

Are you staying at your parents' home alone? Is there anyone you can trust, outside of our husband's network who can support you if your parents cannot? He may still come looking for you there. Backup would be great.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

And for good measure, send copies of their pictures to his mom. 

Please contact your police department and let them know you have left him and that he just got in a fight with the bf of his mistress, and that you are afraid for your safety. That way, it's on record with the police, in case he comes after you, so it will be easier to put him behind bars if needed. Are you really all alone? Can't someone come stay with you? I really don't like that.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

CleanJerkSnatch said:


> Who do you have to expose too? Didnt you have the most prisine opportuniy to expose when thy asked you directly? Which BS on TAM ever got that opportunty? Expose to them all!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 If she had been a man, NOT 8 months' pregnant, living with her husband's mom (who supports his cheating), 100% dependent on him for money, having to protect her kid. AND needing him to give her a ride home....sure, what the hell, tell his whole family right there what a POS he is. Perfect time.

Not.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

CleanJerkSnatch said:


> Who do you have to expose too? Didnt you have the most prisine opportuniy to expose when thy asked you directly? Which BS on TAM ever got that opportunty? Expose to them all!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I couldn't do that without having it made very difficult for me to get my stuff to leave. The cops would have been called, and my daughter doesn't need to be exposed to that. 
My choice was to bite my tongue but leave in the best way possible for my daughters sake, not mine.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

turnera said:


> If she had been a man, NOT 8 months' pregnant, living with her husband's mom (who supports his cheating), 100% dependent on him for money, having to protect her kid. AND needing him to give her a ride home....sure, what the hell, tell his whole family right there what a POS he is. Perfect time.
> 
> Not.


Thank you Turnera for you understanding :smthumbup:


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

delicate_thorn said:


> I couldn't do that without having it made very difficult for me to get my stuff to leave. The cops would have been called, and my daughter doesn't need to be exposed to that.
> My choice was to bite my tongue but leave in the best way possible for my daughters sake, not mine.


You did the right thing. You aren't creating a tv drama, this is real life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

He has no idea I'm here, as I put the seed in his head that I wasn't going to be speaking to my parents. There's no reason to doubt me, as the last time I said that, I didn't speak to them for 2 years. Stupid, to say the least.


----------



## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

turnera said:


> If she had been a man, NOT 8 months' pregnant, living with her husband's mom (who supports his cheating), 100% dependent on him for money, having to protect her kid. AND needing him to give her a ride home....sure, what the hell, tell his whole family right there what a POS he is. Perfect time.
> 
> Not.


That still does not change the fact that she could and should have exposed, she is at her mothers now, and hes on vacation. Expose period
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

If he shows up at your parents place do not one the door and call the police. Explain the situation, that your afraid for your safety and your child and baby.

Do not waste any time talking with him or with the OW.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Get a VAR to keep on you to record any confrontations if your husband finds you

Also do not hesitate to call the police if need be


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

CleanJerkSnatch said:


> That still does not change the fact that she could and should have exposed, she is at her mothers now, and hes on vacation. Expose period
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 Of course she should - NOW. Just not when she's at a house with 50 of HIS family members, all beholden to an acknowledged cheater and wife abuser where the women 'know their place' and shut up. Not a great environment to expose. Not a damn one of them will do anything, anyway. She'll be the one who escaped.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

What an arrogant grandfather btw


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

So this is the God's honest truth...

I just called his cousin, and mind you I'm shaking and nervous because I feel bad for the guy, to expose to him.

I tell him why I thought they may be having an affair, what I saw when I followed them, how they acted at the party, and what I found in his email and call records. I told him I would forward him some of the pics.

After having spilled the beans, without missing a beat, he said that after I have the baby him and I should hook-up to get even with them.
No lie. 

OMG, what a family.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

turnera said:


> Of course she should - NOW. Just not when she's at a house with 50 of HIS family members, all beholden to an acknowledged cheater and wife abuser *where the women 'know their place' and shut up*. Not a great environment to expose. Not a damn one of them will do anything, anyway. She'll be the one who escaped.


Turnera, you just summed up that environment perfectly.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Creepy

Well you still did the right thing, you give the info and it is his to do as he pleases


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I guess his cousin just told his girlfriend/other woman what he knows and what I told him.

She texted me saying we need to talk.


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

Also, remember when you expose, and I don't know if this has been mentioned, to do it all at once. Get your list of targets and expose to all at the same time. This is so that he and the OW can't get together, come up with a story, and make you look like the stereotypical hormonal pregnant woman.


----------



## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Ignore her

Shell only lie and try to gaslight you


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I have 5 missed calls from her. Ugh.


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

Let it go to voicemail or just ignore it. She will try to minimize the damage from her side or make you think that it's in your head.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

She left a voicemail.

She acknowledges the affair. She says that she will not stay away from my husband and they want to be together. She says she feels bad for him, having to pretend to want to be with me for the last two months.
She even apologized for him, saying he probably didn't put on his "act right" and acted overbearing. She says that isn't going to happen anymore now that they can be together.

I'm absolutely disgusted. We went on trips together, there are countless pictures of her and I, and now this is where we are at.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Thorn,

Please be careful with this family... I think you really need to take every possible precaution. Please contact a lawyer as soon as you can. I think like today for your protection and the protection of your daughter you need to find out what is possible.


----------



## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

I agree! Ignore the girlfriend! She is only out for her own best interests. She may say that she is sorry, and say nice things, but actions speak louder than words. You do not owe it to her to talk with her. I hope someone there comes beside you and supports you right now. You need to be very, very strong.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

delicate_thorn said:


> I guess his cousin just told his girlfriend/other woman what he knows and what I told him.
> 
> She texted me saying we need to talk.


 HELL no!

You have NOTHING to say to her! PLEASE don't.


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

Her VM is EXACTLY why we say don't talk to the OW. It only brings heartache. Please skip or delete anymore VMs she leaves. She is nobody.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

delicate_thorn said:


> I'm absolutely disgusted. We went on trips together, there are countless pictures of her and I, and now this is where we are at.


 I know another poster whose husband cheated long term with her SISTER!

And another whose husband cheated with her paralyzed brother's wife!


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> She left a voicemail.
> 
> She acknowledges the affair. She says that she will not stay away from my husband and they want to be together. She says she feels bad for him, having to pretend to want to be with me for the last two months.
> She even apologized for him, saying he probably didn't put on his "act right" and acted overbearing. She says that isn't going to happen anymore now that they can be together.
> ...


This is the fog, Thorn. In the fog, everything is all happiness and sunshine. It is why exposure is so important. It casts a light in the deception.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Thorn,

Your previous description of the MIL and the grandfather, scare me... plus you need to understand that although you did the right thing, if your POSWH gets wind of this and retains a lawyer, he may have the cops tracking you down for kidnapping... I know, I sound paranoid... there are just things about your description that make me feel uneasy.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

WhereAmI said:


> Her VM is EXACTLY why we say don't talk to the OW. It only brings heartache. Please skip or delete anymore VMs she leaves. She is nobody.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Keep the vm and forward it to your lawyer.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

And DO call the police and make that report. Please! In a family like his, he will be goaded on to PROVE his manhood by slamming you down. He won't be able NOT to.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

I'm going to call a lawyer after a good cry.

Seems like the husband beat me to the punch. 

I phoned his mother and admitted everything, excluded for the fact that I have moved out and where I am now.
Same for two female cousins that my husband is close to. 

They all said the same thing, that he was already thinking of leaving me. On Saturday before he picked me up to go the party, he had told me that he was going to speak to his family for guidance with our marital problems.
Apparently, his version of guidance is telling all of them that he's unhappy and thinking of leaving because I'm an unfit mother and very lazy. He says I don't do a thing and questions whether I love him and our little girl. He lied to them and told them that I sleep until 1 in the afternoon and that our child has to go find food for herself? How is that even logical to them, our little girl can't even open the fridge or anything else since we have everything child proofed. 

He's beaten me to the punch. I guess I need to beat him to a lawyer. 

And now his cousin is text'g me non-stop.


----------



## Leobwin (Apr 28, 2012)

Miss Taken said:


> If he went grocery shopping after work, he'd come home much later like around 10:00 or 10:30 pm.
> 
> It turned out that he was using grocery shopping as an alibi/cover to disappear for an hour/hour-and-a-half because most of the receipts said he finished shopping around 8:30 pm.


Wow, you just triggered a memory. DW used to do the grocery shopping after the kid's bedtime. She was often gone much longer than necessary. Eventually I figured out that she was going to see OM after shopping.

One night she came home after shopping too long. I picked a small fight in the kitchen about something unrelated, then paused after a few minutes to pour us each a glass of milk...all the talking was making me thirsty, you know.

Of course the milk was from the bottle she'd just brought in, and of course it was warm. So the argument turned into something a little more pointed and a lot more heated.

The harder they try to cover their tracks, the more they miss things. Be attentive and all things will be revealed.


----------



## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

Yes, try to get a reputable lawyer ASAP. It will be money well spent and you absolutely need to do this right now. At least he/she will be on your side and able to advise you on what steps to take from here. Will your parents be returning soon?


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

delicate_thorn said:


> They all said the same thing, that he was already thinking of leaving me.


If one more person says that to you, you say "Oh really? Isn't HE an upstanding man, leaving a wife who is EIGHT MONTHS' PREGNANT? What a man!"


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Thorn,

Get very familiar with CA child custody laws and now is the time to be strong for your kiddos after you cry. This one punches me in the gut. 

You did the right thing, but now you need to take a new legal tack... I really wish you the best. 

When do your parents get home? Is there someone you trust to stay with you? I am very concerned about you staying there alone?


----------



## Frostrose (Aug 1, 2012)

Your mother in law and your husbands Grandfather sound like something out of a nightmare.I'm truly sorry that this is happening to you.You need to get a lawyer and fast.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

drerio said:


> Thorn,
> 
> Get very familiar with CA child custody laws and now is the time to be strong for your kiddos after you cry. This one punches me in the gut.
> 
> ...


No, my parents are on vacay right now. I'm going to do as you say, as well as phone for a lawyer.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

My husband just sent a long text message, starting with he's requesting me to move out. I only replied with "too late, already done."

He reiterated with what the other woman said, or his girlfriend as he calls her now. 
He's sorry for putting on an act, that he really didn't care less about me, but just wasn't sure of leaving me. He says that this all sealed the deal for him. 
He wants a quick divorce, because he's thinking of proposing to her.

I got a FB message from a relative of his, but she's one of the few normal ones that doesn't bow down to their man. 
The other women has been "confiding" in husbands/cousins relatives, saying that his cousin has been drinking lately and getting violent.

The relative that FB'd me didn't believe her. Seems like my husbands girlfriend was setting up her boyfriend too. Guess this has been in the making.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> No, my parents are on vacay right now. I'm going to do as you say, as well as phone for a lawyer.


Please do... it is one thing to extricate yourself from that toxic environment, you just don't want it coming to you. My heart breaks for you and your kids, I really wish you the best. Please stick around for moral and emotional support... I know I sound like one of the ladies, I am just a big softie guy, especially (but not solely, care about you too) when kids are involved. 

You are doing good, stay strong.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

And still getting text messages from his cousin. Wants to know if I've changed my mind to get even with them. He wants to hook up and start dating after I have the baby.

I'm going to have to research how to block text messages on an iphone or even change my number.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

drerio said:


> Please do... it is one thing to extricate yourself from that toxic environment, you just don't want it coming to you. My heart breaks for you and your kids, I really wish you the best. Please stick around for moral and emotional support... I know I sound like one of the ladies, I am just a big softie guy, especially (but not solely, care about you too) when kids are involved.
> 
> You are doing good, stay strong.


Thank you and it's nice hearing that from a man. Nice to know all men aren't like this. Too bad, I made a mistake in picking the one I did.


----------



## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

Just tell the cousin you won't be dating for a while and aren't interested in revenge. Hopefully he'll cut the crap.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> And still getting text messages from his cousin. Wants to know if I've changed my mind to get even with them. He wants to hook up and start dating after I have the baby.
> 
> I'm going to have to research how to block text messages on an iphone or even change my number.



Wow! What a creepy family!


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

WhereAmI said:


> Just tell the cousin you won't be dating for a while and aren't interested in revenge. Hopefully he'll cut the crap.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I did and stated it firmly. He responded with a shirtless picture.


I'm going to have to change my number...


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Thorn,

It is a good idea to get block from stbxh and the whole lot of this family and associates, however you probably should broadcast one final message, "any future communication with you will have to go through your lawyer". 

Now go get a good lawyer NOW!!!!!


----------



## Frostrose (Aug 1, 2012)

He wants to Propose to her.Fine.Karma will bite them in the a**. Right now you focus on yourself and your babies.You don't need him.You have two wonderful children that will make you happy.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> I did and stated it firmly. He responded with a shirtless picture.
> 
> 
> I'm going to have to change my number...


Yuck.... However, don't delete the pic... this is called harassment. Just give it to your lawyer.


----------



## chumplady (Jul 27, 2012)

Hey Thorne -- you are MIGHTY! You are navigating this nightmare really well. Your H's family are a bunch of disordered wing nuts. PLEASE change your number! Go NC with the lot of them. 

The ONLY person you have to communicate with -- and do it by email so it is documented -- is your H. And you ONLY discuss the kid(s) and finances. 

Don't give him your new number. Send him an email that he can contact you this way and through your attorney.

It's actually very good news that he wants a divorce. WORK WITH THAT. He is of the deeply idiotic cheater school -- dumber than a cake eater. You're out, so he has to appease his pyscho GF with "commitment" (snort!) You've got POWER, so USE that.

Set your terms -- make them very generous on your behalf -- and stand between him and happiness. Make him sign it and be rid of him. Frankly, I'd have him sign over his parental rights. Why should you have to interact with him for years? But failing that -- sh*tloads of child support and spousal support. As you don't work and he's got debt -- all the debt will be his. 

Oh, OW is getting a real winner. 

And back up that evidence. Send it to yourself at another email account. Put it on a flash drive. Print it out. 

Don't let him bully you. You're 8 months preggers and he's cheating. No judge will give him sh*t. Your view may be warped hanging around his insane family. 

They have to make you the bad guy -- what he's done is so shameful. They need to put lipstick on the pig that is him.

Really, NC. Especially with the OW. Karma is going to run over her ass.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Stay strong. You're doing the right things so far.

Try not to talk to your husband and keep records of everything his family, he and the other woman say to you.

I know he's also a victim in this but the cousin sounds like a whack job too. You might want to consider getting a safety deposit box so you can safely house all of the evidence you'll need for the divorce and if they harass you, any evidence of that as well. Keeping it at home might not be the safest option if he finds out where you are or what you have on him.

What a family! I know it's not helpful now but one day you're going to be glad you got out of there when you did. This family is crazy.


----------



## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

well i have been spell bound by your story. I am sorry that you fell into this family. I am sorry that they likely opened their arms and made it seem like you were entering a warm loving family. Too bad that they didin't tell you about the three tons of dysfunction going on with it all. I hope that you get a clean break.

The cards are set and the players are all the same. You wanna know how the deck is gonna fall. He will not be having a happy future as his cousin and him will likely be having it out for a long time to come. The woman he cheated on you with is likely just attached to him for the fun of it. It is likely she will be happy for a few months. Then she will find some other man that is the "man " for her. Which means your former husband will be getting crap from his cousin and giving crap to this new man. 
The children of the cousin will be in a horrific mess wondering why her daddy is gone. The woman will likely drag the kids along as it seems that the lack of commitment runs throughout the family. Right now I would go back to school or work, get your feet underneath you, and go for alimony. Once your back on your feet you won't have to ever give up your independence again unless you want to. Not because you have to. As for the STBXH he will suffer a long and pointlessly. it is likely once the OW leaves him for something new. He will come crawling back to you. 

When he does please send him back home with his tail between his legs.


----------



## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> I did and stated it firmly. He responded with a shirtless picture.
> 
> 
> I'm going to have to change my number...


Sorry...this just made me laugh out loud!...very sorry.

I really am speechless. I want to say something, but what?....

I think you have done great. At least you won't have any plaguing doubts, or be stuck in the hell of limbo the way they/he is carrying on (though I don't want to take away from no doubt a different hell you are going through right now. And I so feel for you having him behave like such a di*k. I am sorry). It really is shocking. They are really shocking. Like the hillbilly family from hell. And you've escaped them! Well done you. I am so impressed with how you have dealt with this and handled yourself.

Bravo girl!


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Tell the cousin you already got your revenge on his gf, she's stuck with your stbxh.

He's likely cheated before and nw she's got him.

You might call up the woman you suspect he cheated with previously and tell her your dumping him because he's a confirmed cheater. Her reaction may be interesting.

You do need to inform the hospital about this situation. You can restrict visitors to the hospital when you deliver your baby.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> You do need to inform the hospital about this situation. You can restrict visitors to the hospital when you deliver your baby.


I forgot about this... this idea is very good. Most ObGyn and Peds wards in hospitals tend to have the highest security...


----------



## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Tell the cousin you already got your revenge on his gf, she's stuck with your stbxh.
> 
> He's likely cheated before and nw she's got him.
> 
> ...


 Definitely with the last part. Dont tell those psychos when youre due
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You shoud talk to a lawyer immediately about your best strategy going forward

Depending on where you live the rules for the fathers name on the birt certificate can vary, and as the mother you may have options on who you put down, if anyone at all as the father. Talk to a lawyer about it.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Remains said:


> Sorry...this just made me laugh out loud!...very sorry.
> 
> I really am speechless. I want to say something, but what?....


It's like laughing at a funeral but the absurdity of it all, I think it's understandable. I can't believe the cousin - although he is probably the least of her worries... he's just gross. What he's proposing is like Jerry Springer Justice.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Hey, thorn, I've got a bit of experience as a screenwriter...wanna hook up? (no, not that way!)

I see a blockbuster in the making. PM me. 

Maybe the Farrelly brothers...


----------



## GotMeWonderingNow (May 31, 2012)

Threads like this can cut deep. I'm glad TAM is here though and that you are on it thorn. The people here will help you get through this; a lot of them feel your pain for real. You're doing very well so far. I can't get over how crazy the H's family is.


----------



## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

turnera said:


> Hey, thorn, I've got a bit of experience as a screenwriter...wanna hook up? (no, not that way!)
> 
> I see a blockbuster in the making. PM me.
> 
> Maybe the Farrelly brothers...


Yes!


----------



## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

Oh thorn,
So sorry that you have to go through this, but the good thing is you are out of this psycho family. You handled everything perfectly and now please please see a lawyer to protect yourself and keep them away from your babies. When are your parents coming back? You have come to the right place for support.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Thorn,

How are you holding out today? A few things, sorry I am bugging you on these but in your situation, I feel I just need to follow up:

1. Did you contact an attorney and consult with him/her about your options?

2. Are you safe and secure at your current location? I know you said your parents were on vacation, but my concern is you being there alone. As I stated before, I am concerned about your stbxh mother and grandfather... sounds as if your WH only does things on their orders even if it is bad...

3. How are you holding up? as well as your daughter? You are coming up on 36 weeks and for most ObGyns that is a reasonable timeline for giving birth. 

Side note, I think it may be also in your best interest to explain what is going on with your Ob... he/she may want to run test an even induce labor to avoid any last minute drama associated with your situation. 

Please take care and take care of you kiddos.


----------



## mountaingirl00 (Feb 22, 2012)

I recommend installing a program called Refrog. It will allow you to view everything that is typed into the computer, including websited visited. I caught my husband cheating after giving birth to my 1 year old using the Refrog software. 

Also, if he has sprint install the family locator or a gps on his phone.


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

turnera said:


> Hey, thorn, I've got a bit of experience as a screenwriter...wanna hook up? (no, not that way!)
> 
> I see a blockbuster in the making. PM me.
> 
> Maybe the Farrelly brothers...


Screenwriting, really? Really cool. :smthumbup:

What should the title be? 

_Hillbillies from Hell_ sounds like a horror flick, so not that one


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

drerio said:


> Thorn,
> 
> How are you holding out today? A few things, sorry I am bugging you on these but in your situation, I feel I just need to follow up:
> 
> ...


I have an appointment on Thursday with an attorney nearby, hopefully he'll be decent. I didn't know whether to call a man or a woman attorney, but I just went with one nearby and that didn't have that many bad reviews. They all had bad reviews. 


My daughter and I both have appointments that day, she for a regular visit, and me to talk to the OBGYN. She's such a nice woman, I really lucked out and she'll direct me. I feel at more peace with my decision, because if I had a doctor I couldn't rely on, this would make it that much more scary. 

Had a conversation with the husband. I really broke down yesterday after all the dust settled and cried my eyes out. My girlfriend had to pick up my daughter so I could be by myself and wallow. Of course she didn't mind, because she got to play with the friends son around the same age. 

From what I gather, this has been going on for at least 5 months or so with this woman. 
When I was by myself yesterday, I put her up on cheaterville. I don't know if that was a mistake or not. Maybe I let my anger get the best of me.

Spoke to the husband who said she's his soul mate and the love of his life and he didn't want to hurt me :rofl:
but that I had to accept it and move on. He said I also have to accept that she will be there when we "swap" our daughter over the weekend. _Nice words jerk, lets call it an exchange_ I thought. Then I realized what he said. Other woman is going to be there too. 

So he took me off of his facebook and put that he's in a relationship with her. MIL loves her and is supportive of her son.
Um, can I vomit now?

In the mean time, his cousins side of the fam is threatening him.

When I saw that he put he was in a relationship with her on facebook, I also saw that many of his family like that status change. Gross. And cheating runs in the family. 

I deleted and blocked them all on facebook. My parents get back on Friday. I have a feeling when I see my mom, I'm just going to cry and not manage any words. 

Oh and husband told me again that he was sorry to put on the act, he doesn't care about what I do and what happens in the future, he said I didn't have to leave like that during the day when he wasn't here. He said he would have even helped me move. All he wants is to be with his new girlfriend and that he didn't mean to hurt his cousin, either. 

Is it normal to feel like a train ran you over? I'm exhausted and sore


----------



## delicate_thorn (Sep 6, 2012)

Oh I forgot to add *how* I know MIL is supportive of the relationship. 

She FB'd, or sent it to that new facebook email thing, I don't really know which, but said that she just wants what is best for her son and her soon to be two grandbabies.

She says the other woman is very good with kids and I shouldn't worry about when my husband has our daughter. She says she'll always be there for me and will be at the hospital waiting to see her new grandchild. That she knows my soon to be exhusband will be more than fair to me, because at the end of the day, he just 
wants to be with the woman he loves (her).

She was cordial I guess, in the midst of all her deluded thoughts to enable her son. I still can't believe we're already talking about the other woman being around my kids.

Something to talk to the attorney about on Thurs.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Don't forget to tell the hospital they are not allowed in, asap. If you go into labor you may not be able to do that.

And lots of people put things in their legal paperwork, if able in their state, that stbx will NOT be allowed to bring other women around your kid for the first year or something. So he wouldn't be able to be with the love of his life AND his children at the same time.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Is there anyone else you can expose to?


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You want to talk to the lawyer about a morals clause that bars him from having the OW around your children.


----------



## Frostrose (Aug 1, 2012)

Tell the hospital you don't want any of his family or that woman in the hospital when you give birth.I swear I hate your mother in law.The way she talks.How the hell can that witch approve of her son cheating.She disgust me.And his family liking the status.What a bunch of pigs.They are the worst.


----------



## Stephs (Aug 8, 2012)

^ like like like (can't like your post enough) totally a bunch of pigs.

Omigosh I'm so sad for you! What a jerk.


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

The more I hear about this family, the more that I think you have dodged a bullet. Your MIL should be on that show by A&E. I forget the name of it. Truthfully, it seems like your STBXH picked up on cheating. So, it doesn't really surprise me that she endorses it.

Talk to a lawyer about a morality clause. I know some here recommend it, but I don't know the details of it specifically. I am sure that you can bar the OW around your children. Stand up for yourself and show them that you won't allow the OW to become "Mommy" to your children.

Talk to the hospital. Explain the circumstances, and bar them from the hospital. You don't need them in there causing you stress.


----------



## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

delicate_thorn said:


> Oh I forgot to add *how* I know MIL is supportive of the relationship.
> 
> She FB'd, or sent it to that new facebook email thing, I don't really know which, but said that she just wants what is best for her son and her soon to be two grandbabies.
> 
> ...


Uhhh....duh! Hang on a minute....slow down....you are kidding right?!!! You are 8 MONTHS PREGNANT, 3 DAYS AGO YOU WERE OUT AT NIGHT CATCHING HIM CHEATING, and HIS MOTHER SAYS WHAT? 

Oh, she's nice and good with kids. Oh, that's ok then. Sorry, I thought for a moment I was dreaming. 

I remain absolutely and totally speechless.

You have had a lucky escape! Thank your lucky stars he found her and was so obvious about it so soon. Otherwise u may have lived another year or 10 with this family of retards. No wonder he is such a f*ck up. As another poster says (Shaggy? I love Shaggy!), you have your revenge, and sweet it is. She is stuck with him til she can't stick any longer, and he with her!


----------



## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

You definately don't need that crazy family in the hospital. You will be a mix of emotions anyway after the baby is born, the last thing you need is the conniving, b**ch faced MIL hanging around making comments that might seem innocent but are not. What a bunch of crocks! 
I want to slap the lot of them for you! I know this is very hard, you will go through an intense grieving time, you will wonder what you did wrong (this is not your fault). Somedays you will be angry & hate your husband, somedays you will be sad for the loss of him. Expect this.
Have you arranged care for your daughter when you go into hospital? I would be very wary of leaving her with her father, at this point. He might conspire with his mother to take her away from you.
Given their past behaviour, I would not trust one word that comes out of their mouthes & I would get some kind of custody order in place before he allowed to see either child again.


----------



## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

Hope all is well on your end thorn! Thinking of you!


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

thorn, if you took him back, don't be too embarrassed to tell us. We see it all the time. Just let us know you're ok.


----------



## Shoshannah (Aug 29, 2012)

turnera said:


> thorn, if you took him back, don't be too embarrassed to tell us. We see it all the time. Just let us know you're ok.


Yes, please tell us you and your kids are all right. If you are trying to work things out with your husband, that's fine. We understand.


----------



## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

I hope everything is alright with you. Let us know.


----------

