# I Never Thought She Would Do It



## callindrill (Feb 17, 2011)

We have been married for 10 years. Our sexual life has slowed down and became less exciting. So.... when my wife started showing an interest in a co-worker, who is married, we started fantasising about her having sex with him... It turned us on and reignited our sex life. Slowly, to keep the fantasy going, I started encouraging her to flirt more and more with him. Well... Two months ago she started having sex with him and she has developed a strong emotional bond with him. I never thought she would actually do it! It started out as a fantasy that we both enjoyed, now she is actively involved in an intense affair.

It has been two months now and there are no signs that it is going to slow down. I feel like I caused this because I started out with the fantasy... I don't feel right about telling her to stop... On the other hand, so far our sex life has been completely renewed, she has a sexual energy that I have not seen since we first met. 

Any advice? Make her stop, or let it keep going but try to keep an eye on the emotional side. So far she says she loves me and has no intention of abandoning our marriage.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

The sooner you get it to stop the better. Unfortunately you've tipped your hand that you're turned on by being cuckolded, so it's going to be a long battle to reign her in.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

callindrill said:


> We have been married for 10 years. Our sexual life has slowed down and became less exciting. So.... when my wife started showing an interest in a co-worker, who is married, we started fantasising about her having sex with him... It turned us on and reignited our sex life. Slowly, to keep the fantasy going, I started encouraging her to flirt more and more with him. Well... Two months ago she started having sex with him and she has developed a strong emotional bond with him. I never thought she would actually do it! It started out as a fantasy that we both enjoyed, now she is actively involved in an intense affair.
> 
> It has been two months now and there are no signs that it is going to slow down. I feel like I caused this because I started out with the fantasy... I don't feel right about telling her to stop... On the other hand, so far our sex life has been completely renewed, she has a sexual energy that I have not seen since we first met.
> 
> Any advice? Make her stop, or let it keep going but try to keep an eye on the emotional side. So far she says she loves me and has no intention of abandoning our marriage.


First of all you did not cause this, believe me if she wasn't inclined to pursue this man, your fantasy would have died on the vine. All you did was give her permission to have sex with him free of guilt. She is placating you with lots of sex so you don't object. 

You may enjoy her sexuality now but it's early days she may in time to form a strong emotional bond with him. If that happens, she may loose interest in placating you and the sex may go down the tubes. She may even decide that she likes the variety and leave you. 

Better get back control of your marriage and partner tis is not going to end well otherwise.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Catherine602 said:


> She is placating you with lots of sex so you don't object.


Actually it's common that women having sex with multiple men become sexually explosive in comparsion to their baseline sexual interest.


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## callindrill (Feb 17, 2011)

I should add the following detail that this man she is having an affair with lives nearly 1000 miles away and she only has access to him when they are working on a project together. So... She might be with him for a week and then not see him for several weeks. The current project she is on may be the last time she has easy access to him.. Maybe I should just wait it out.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

You have to tell her you don't want her to have sex with him.


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## paramore (Jan 11, 2011)

from personal experience, DONT bring another person into your bed....me and the husband are dealing with the aftermath


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## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

start an affair and tell her... when she freaks out say " oh, i thought it was cool"

no? ... ok im spent.


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## Indy Nial (Sep 26, 2010)

What?! I cant beleive you thought promoting the idea of her having sex with another man was a good idea! All adultry begins in the head first, you planted the seed and now you're reaping the reward.


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