# Stepping Away From The Insanity!



## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

So I have detached from my H, after I told him I would not be involved in the purchase of our new home. This was after Saturday night things got very ugly when the OW's H made up a bunch of crap trying to woo his lady home. In his schemes to get her home he wanted to make sure that she knew that my H would never be able to offer her anything. Well the part of him not offering her a new home that is true, but that was it. NO I will not sign the closing papers for my H to move his OW in. WE picked that home out together for us to grow old in, hell will freeze b4 I sign the papers for him to move her in. Also it is a 30 yr mortgage and until he is able to refinance it I won't be able to even finance a stick of furniture on my salary.
Yesterday my H who got so ugly after believing the lies he was fed...that I was going to sell all his stuff, and steal all his money, he cussed me out and pretty much told me he hated me. Now I know part of that is the anger and he does go for the jugular when mad, but that was too much. Yesterday morning he tried to call me 17 times, and I refused to answer. I texted him and said NO, I am not talking to you. 
I was done, but the OW's H called from a blocked line 4 times last night and 4 times today. I refused to answer and sent a blanket text to both men. Leave me alone, I told the OW's H that my marriage is over and that his lies to keep his wife are just driving more nails in the coffin.
If it wasn't so painful it would almost be comical watching these 2 idiots fight over a female who doesn't have any respect for either of them.
If she had any respect for her husband she would never have cheated. If she had any respect for mine, she would not be still having relations with her husband. Let them fight over her, because I don't think she is a prize worth having.
Right now I am starting the journey about saving ME and my daughter that is still home!


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## John-agape (Mar 10, 2014)

Wow! I believe marriage is for life, but I suppose there are exceptions.

Your H seems like a sucker for trouble. What's he thinking with?

I wish you good luck and wisdom to extricate yourself and your daughter from that mess with your sanity intact.


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

lOL.you can just sit back and enjoy the three ring circus that is your H,OW and OWH.you be the ringmaster.enjoy the show.


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## bookwrmmom (Mar 23, 2014)

Honestly I do hope he wakes up and we can ATTEMPT to restore our marriage. In the meantime, I am going to let these to fools fight it out and hope no one gets physically hurt in the process!


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Instead of the OW's H calling you all the time, why not text him your WH's number and they can duke it out amongst themselves?

And, no, I'm not kidding.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

bookwrmmom said:


> So I have detached from my H, after I told him I would not be involved in the purchase of our new home. This was after Saturday night things got very ugly when the OW's H made up a bunch of crap trying to woo his lady home. In his schemes to get her home he wanted to make sure that she knew that my H would never be able to offer her anything. Well the part of him not offering her a new home that is true, but that was it. *NO I will not sign the closing papers for my H to move his OW in. *WE picked that home out together for us to grow old in, hell will freeze b4 I sign the papers for him to move her in. Also it is a 30 yr mortgage and until he is able to refinance it I won't be able to even finance a stick of furniture on my salary.
> Yesterday my H who got so ugly after believing the lies he was fed...that I was going to sell all his stuff, and steal all his money, he cussed me out and pretty much told me he hated me. Now I know part of that is the anger and he does go for the jugular when mad, but that was too much. Yesterday morning he tried to call me 17 times, and I refused to answer. I texted him and said NO, I am not talking to you.
> I was done, but the OW's H called from a blocked line 4 times last night and 4 times today. I refused to answer and* sent a blanket text to both men. Leave me alone, I told the OW's H that my marriage is over and that his lies to keep his wife are just driving more nails in the coffin.*If it wasn't so painful *it would almost be comical watching these 2 idiots fight over a female who doesn't have any respect for either of them.*If she had any respect for her husband she would never have cheated. If she had any respect for mine, she would not be still having relations with her husband. Let them fight over her, because I don't think she is a prize worth having.
> Right now I am starting the journey about saving ME and my daughter that is still home!


:iagree: Good girl. Stay strong and let "the idiots" duke it out. :rofl: You've done all you need to do and talking to either one of them isn't going to benefit you in the slightest. Take care or your daughter. The two of you will be far better off in the long run. I admire your spunk!!!


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## m0nk (Mar 14, 2014)

bookwrmmom said:


> So I have detached from my H, after I told him I would not be involved in the purchase of our new home. This was after Saturday night things got very ugly when the OW's H made up a bunch of crap trying to woo his lady home. In his schemes to get her home he wanted to make sure that she knew that my H would never be able to offer her anything. Well the part of him not offering her a new home that is true, but that was it. NO I will not sign the closing papers for my H to move his OW in. WE picked that home out together for us to grow old in, hell will freeze b4 I sign the papers for him to move her in. Also it is a 30 yr mortgage and until he is able to refinance it I won't be able to even finance a stick of furniture on my salary.
> Yesterday my H who got so ugly after believing the lies he was fed...that I was going to sell all his stuff, and steal all his money, he cussed me out and pretty much told me he hated me. Now I know part of that is the anger and he does go for the jugular when mad, but that was too much. Yesterday morning he tried to call me 17 times, and I refused to answer. I texted him and said NO, I am not talking to you.
> I was done, but the OW's H called from a blocked line 4 times last night and 4 times today. I refused to answer and sent a blanket text to both men. Leave me alone, I told the OW's H that my marriage is over and that his lies to keep his wife are just driving more nails in the coffin.
> If it wasn't so painful it would almost be comical watching these 2 idiots fight over a female who doesn't have any respect for either of them.
> ...


Just WOW. it sounds like your head and heart are in the right place: your daughter. Best of luck to you! Stay the course!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

DO NOT BUY A HOUSE WITH HIM!!!!

My ex used my credit to buy a house in the middle of his affair. I did not know he was in an affair at the time. Three weeks after we moved in he said he wanted a divorce and for me to move out. 

I did not find out about the affair until 3 months later. I am now stuck with an underwater house that he abandoned after getting it in the divorce.....


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

North Carolina you can sue for divorce with fault and the year separation is waived. 

Fault:
A spouse must commit one of the following acts: (1) Abandons his or her family. (2) Maliciously turns the other out of doors. (3) By cruel or barbarous treatment endangers the life of the other. In addition, the court may grant the victim of such treatment the remedies (4) Offers such indignities to the person of the other as to render his or her condition intolerable and life burdensome. (5) Becomes an excessive user of alcohol or drugs so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and the life of that spouse burdensome. (6) Commits adultery. (North Carolina Statutes - Chapter 50 - Sections: 50-5.1 and 50-6 

An attorney will tell you it will be hard to prove etc, yet you can file and get the ball rolling and most likely get the year waiting time waived. Do not agree to anything in regards to the new house, do not sign a mortgage, don’t get involved with any of this till you have spoken to a lawyer. 

From what you have written he meets 3 of the criteria for at fault. You have one of the few states that allow it. Use it! You cant tolerate this situation for months and months and the longer it goes on the deeper his fog will be.


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