# Pregnant and husband left and wants divorce



## eeerockeee (Nov 8, 2011)

My husband and I have been married 5 years. We've been together for 16 years (since I was 15 and he was 18). I am 8 months pregnant with our first child. We were trying to get pregnant last Oct/Nov/Dec but stopped due to my work schedule. Then we got pregnant in March, unplanned. He left me 3 months ago. 

He says he left because we grew apart and that he was tired of trying to be happy with me for the past 2 years. I cheated 2 years ago, confessed and even moved out for 6 weeks summer 2010 to clear my head (affair was over and lived across the country)...we worked through it, so I thought. But now he says he was even thinking of divorce when I moved out last summer and should not have welcomed me back when he did. 

He cheated 6 months ago and got caught. We agreed were going to work on us since we both realized how badly we had taken advantage of each other. Then he left me for yet a different woman just 2 months after getting caught with the other. She's a friend of ours that we had just met in May. She is my exact opposite...25, bartender, no education, drinker, drug user, life of the party. My husband is a 35 year old attorney (he has been unemployed however for 13 months now) who enjoys the social scene, but not like that! Now they live together and she tells me they love each other and are planning their future together...they even got 2 puppies a few weeks ago. He is also on the brink of bankruptcy. 

My husband and I communicate (civilly) on a regular basis due to the baby, mortgage, etc. He is very involved with the pregnancy in regard to birthing classes, OB appointments, daycare selection, etc. We hug goodbye each time we meet. He consoles me when I'm upset when we meet, but he ingores my emotional texts I send occassionally. We only argue if his girlfriend's name comes up because I am adamant about not letting her around my child because of the type of person she is and because I don't want to be replaced. I love him so much and miss him terribly still and want him to move back home. I am in tears most days but he seems emotionally detached from me and very frank about us being divorced. He filed the petition a week after he left, but I'm not signing anything while pregnant and he said that was okay, we'll deal with it after the baby comes. 

I have hope that when the baby comes and he spends more time with me and the baby in our home that I still live in alone with our 2 dogs and 3 cats, that he'll come around and want his life with me back. Am I holding onto false hope? Any advice or feedback is much appreciated...especially from moms/dads. My (and his) family simply agrees with anything I say and hope for to keep my stress levels down for the baby. And most of my friends don't even check on me anymore.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Sorry you are in such a mess. His party girl offers him youth again. You offer him long-term commitment. I suggest you go to individual counseling for your, and the unborn baby's, health. On he knows if your hope is false or not. He's in a fog over his party girl.


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## eeerockeee (Nov 8, 2011)

I've been to IC and even parenting counseling with him, but we stopped after a few sessions b/c he thought it was too much like MC. I'm going to try the 180 approach. I've been the miserable person around him for 3 months...time for a change. I hope my pregnancy hormones can hold up for the 180!


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