# Ladies, have you ever hidden......



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

a female type health problem from your spouse? have you put off intimacy because of it without him knowing the truth?

my wife is a martyr. she doesnt share much with me related to her health, she plays it tight to the vest. i'm beginning to think something may be up and i would like her to come clean. the last few times we tried to be intimate she was very guarded and difficult to excite. this is viewed by me as rejection. 

basically i am grasping at what is driving her right now. i guess i could rationalize that she is having "problems" but i cannot rationalize her not at least discussing them with me. i am running the gambit of thought between complete menopause and hormonal cyclone to minor yeast infection (she doesnt have a history with those).

i guess it could also be that she has lost interest in me, i realize that. not sure why but again she would never tell me anyway. i have given her plenty of opportunities.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I literally never hide anything from my husband. He has always made me feel "safe" in anything / everything... and I am the type who "needs" to talk about my worries, fears, struggles, anything bothering me... I gotta talk or I might explode...or go inward and this affects my cheerful mood. 

I think the hardest thing in the world would be to tell your spouse you had a fatal disease or something REALLY serious that will affect you both in the future ....like Cancer for instance....wanting to spare them from the devestation that will come upon them emotionally & the excrusiating worry that will follow... 

But the little stuff... like yeast infections, even menapousal woes, I mean, this is just normal stuff...it happens, it will get better....best to talk about it...hop on the internet & find a cure to alleviate the issue - to get back to normal living. 

I go to Health forums like this one >> HealthBoards Message Boards when I am worried about anything and talk to others struggling with it -so I can learn everything known to man about the issue - to resolve it ...and I keep my husband informed as well.


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I don't intentionally hide any health concerns from my husband, but I don't volunteer information either. He's the type of guy who has what I feel is a bit of an over-reaction to anything to do with feminine health. We had been married for 14 years before he was able to bring himself to use the word "period", and any mention of "uterus", "cervix", or "vagina" still gets a dramatic shudder and a scrunchy face. I mentioned once that I had a yeast infection and he actually put his hand up in front of my face and told me he _did not _want to hear it. 

Because of that, I don't volunteer more information that he asks for. But I don't lie to him either. Basically, I share any sort of feminine health information with him at the same level I would with my Dad or my boss. Basic general information about scheduling or activity conflicts. No details. No discussions.


----------



## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

If you know that your wife is like that, than I would go ahead and sit her down and start asking questions. Each person is different with regards to how much personal health information they share openly with their spouse, especially female health, lots depends on how they were raised, and what their spouse wants to hear, as you can tell by the above responses, so what others would do really is irrelevent in this situation, what matters is what your wife is doing, and keeping from you, and maybe embarassed about... some things are embarassing.... and emotional (like menopause)... so sit her down and talk to her, start by letting her know you are there for her to share things with and to lean on and to vent to and to be her safe zone, and that you do not mind hearing, you want to support her... then ask the hard questions.


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

livelaughlovenow said:


> If you know that your wife is like that, than I would go ahead and sit her down and start asking questions. Each person is different with regards to how much personal health information they share openly with their spouse, especially female health, lots depends on how they were raised, and what their spouse wants to hear, as you can tell by the above responses, so what others would do really is irrelevent in this situation, what matters is what your wife is doing, and keeping from you, and maybe embarassed about... some things are embarassing.... and emotional (like menopause)... so sit her down and talk to her, start by letting her know you are there for her to share things with and to lean on and to vent to and to be her safe zone, and that you do not mind hearing, you want to support her... then ask the hard questions.


i've done that, she is as stubborn as a mule and set in her ways. she just isnt a communicator, about this and many other subjects. but i have recieved feedback that indicates that this is not uncommon at all


----------



## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

She can change and open up. I hope she does and you figure out what is going on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Well.. there are things i didn't tell my SO when we first got together... eventually I became comfortable enough to let him know when I was on my rag. Of course.. I have had some past health problems that were a bit bigger then being on the monthly that i let him know about later on in the relationship. Then there are the health problems that are just to obvious to hide from him regardless if i wanted to or not. OF course... one reason your wife could be guarded... could be a change in hormones. Is she on any medication? Could she be pregnant? Those can effect how someone acts as well... There may also be depression, insecurity, ect at play as well.


----------



## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Is there any long term history with diabetes? Diabetes causes ED in men... well... women with long term diabetes can have the same problem with arousal.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It could be hormonal problems that are causing arousal difficulties. You don't mention your wife's age, but you mentioned "menopause" which leads me to think she could be in that age bracket. This being the case, she might not be lubricating the way she used to, and is embarrassed about it (the same as a man would be with ED). Talking to her is the only way forward, IMO.


----------



## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> a female type health problem from your spouse? have you put off intimacy because of it without him knowing the truth?
> 
> my wife is a martyr. she doesnt share much with me related to her health, she plays it tight to the vest. i'm beginning to think something may be up and i would like her to come clean. the last few times we tried to be intimate she was very guarded and difficult to excite. this is viewed by me as rejection.
> 
> ...


Well, my H is not a real great one for wanting to know a lot of details about intimate female problems I may be having, so I usually share the minimum details with him and what I'm trying to do to address it/them (I am not one to sit around bemoaning my fate and doing nothing about it). 

I've seen a few of your posts recently where you have mentioned being more detached in the marriage now. And it could also be a possibility that your wife sees/feels this detachment, and has some of her own as well. Emotional detachment or estrangement in a marriage will make sexual intimacy and arousal that much more difficult.

And you mix in a lady who is getting older and cruising toward menopause (which many take very emotionally hard) and the possibility that she may be having some body changes due to that (e.g., potentially extra dryness, arousal difficulties, etc.) and you have a perfect storm for a lack of excitement.

Best wishes.


----------

