# I am moving out today



## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

For a long time it seemed that this day would never arrive, but now it is here. Today I am moving out of our house and into an apartment half an hour away (returning to my home town). I will be much closer to work. Our 14 year old daughter will live with me. She is currently away at camp, which I am grateful for. I didn't want her to see the actual move out process.

Two hours until my husband and my step-son arrive to take care of the furniture and boxes. I am feeling very emotional and not sure I can handle this day. But there is no alternative.

Last night I had a good cry. I spent the night alone in the house - my husband stayed away, per my request. I walked around our yard, sat by the river, and hugged my cats. A lot to say goodbye to. More crying to come. I think my first night in the apartment will be very hard.

Wish me well today, and I will wish the same for you. May better days be ahead for us all.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Yes they are. It is a freeing experience to be physically removed from the memories of a past life. I thank you for your well wishes and send the same to you. It will be easier very soon.


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## troy (Jan 30, 2011)

Emotions will be strong, but you have to be stronger and manage those emotions. You will get through moving day, and when you wake up the next morning in you shiny new apartment, you will feel like a mountain was removed from your shoulder.

I tried twice to move out but had panic attacks and did not. I am much stronger now so I will go through with it if/when that day comes.
Good Luck...


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## SuzyQ64 (Jul 19, 2010)

You are taking the best part of your life with you--your daughter. Think about what opportunities will come out of doing mom/daughter things together, starting a new life over again just the two of you. Yes, you are approaching the time when children usually start heading for their independence, but hopefully she will get her cues from you and look forward to a new start. Sad as it all may be, you truly are taking the best with you. I wish I had gotten my sons out long before they saw the sham of a marriage that we are showing them. Good luck to you, the best is yet to come...just think, you can share dating stories.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

I wish you the very best in your new life. Free from the inherent obligations to unworthy recipients. 
I hope to some day sit on my own back porch (as I have said often), and have coffee in the mornings, without that sense of lost obligation to be and do for someone unworthy.
"what do I want to do today...??"

I am glad you got your child too. I unfortunately, will join the ranks of the Fifty-Percenters, who by their spouses unfaithfulness, is left paying for it in pocket and in time with their kids.


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## 52flower (Mar 4, 2011)

Leaving your house is painful especially when it accompanies detaching from your marriage. He left me to join up with his OW across the country. I had to clean out, dump, pack up, & move; he just left. I think he was avoiding the ordeal; it would have been painful for him.

But in retrospect, I think moving from our home helped me get through the sadness. I moved alone (kids are on their own) & I did not know anyone but it was my new place and did not have memories of him or us. Agreed, the first month was a killer and there still are times that I feel alone but it has gotten much better as everyone said it would (I kept wondering how could it?). Try to make your own life that he does not know about. He has to be wondering about you. Good luck - you WILL get through this & will be fine soon.


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## team12 (Apr 16, 2011)

Best Wishes on your new place I am on month three in mine. One thing that has helped me, is decorating it to make it feel like my own.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

Thank you all for your responses. It has been very difficult, as expected. Watching my husband and step-son drive away after they brought my furniture and boxes was the hardest moment of my life. I felt like I was watching my family leave me, and indeed that is the truth. The loneliness and fear of being on my own and worries about my daughter's happiness have been overwhelming.

I've unpacked a little, then broken down sobbing, then unpacked a bit more, then more sobbing. But I have been pushing hard to get the apartment as ready as possible. My daughter gets home tonight from camp, and I want so badly for our new home to look nice for her. It won't be finished by any means - road trip to IKEA tomorrow for some much-needed desks and bookshelves - but it's coming together. 

I am finding the transition difficult - of going from a two-bedroom house with a full acre of lovely yard and a river with deer passing by to squeezing into a one-bedroom in a crowded apartment complex. To be honest, I am feeling really depressed about it.

My patio does overlook the back yard of the apartment complex rather than the parking lot, so that is a real blessing. I've got trees and green space and birds. And so far the place seems to be pretty quiet. But I can hear my neighbor talking through the bedroom wall, and doors opening and closing, and people walking in the hallway right outside my door. I just feel so hemmed in, and almost panicky at times. It's such a tremendous change.

I do plan to redecorate and truly make the place mine. I splurged and bought a new set of dinner plates and bowls, and in a couple of weeks (I have to build up the funds a bit again) I will look for a few new pictures to hang on the walls, rather than put up the same stuff we had at home. I am combining a few of the familiar things with some new fun stuff.

Thanks again. I wish you all well with the great changes in your lives. It is hard. And lonely.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Great for you. I moved two weeks ago and I am loving it. I pray your daughter feels right at home. It will make the transition smoother. You/we are on our way to the new life we don't even know about yet, ain't it exciting ;o)


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