# Obsessed about husband?s masturbation and phone bill



## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

Just a quick post to find some help... How can I stop obsessing abt my husbands porn or mast habits. We have a great sex life but I cannot stop checking his boxers to find cum stains from the day when he is working. He wears ugly, old boxers and I usually find 2 or 3 semen stains.
I know he looks at porn in the car or maybe in the bathroom at work. 
How can I get over this? Why am I so jealous? I also constantly check our phone bill to see media usage. Sometimes I feel in my gut like he is hiding something. Has anyone else felt something similar? Or over analyzed everything they said or when they were quiet? Or look at the amount of semen to tell if they came before? I am in need of help. Our sex life is great, but I cannot stop. Thoughts? BTW I bought a VAR and I am going to put it in his car...


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

The day you check the tidy whities for cum stains should be the day you file.

Yikes.


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

sandcastle said:


> The day you check the tidy whities for cum stains should be the day you file.
> 
> Yikes.


 why? Not sure I follow.


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

Bianca-
You started a thread about your obsession.

You check his underwear.

Is this relationship acceptable to you?


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

And forget about maintaining your pride and self- respect.

You are worth more than checking dirty boxers. I know you are.


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Bianca Stella said:


> Just a quick post to find some help... How can I stop obsessing abt my husbands porn or mast habits. We have a great sex life but I cannot stop checking his boxers to find cum stains from the day when he is working. He wears ugly, old boxers and I usually find 2 or 3 semen stains.
> I know he looks at porn in the car or maybe in the bathroom at work.
> How can I get over this? Why am I so jealous? I also constantly check our phone bill to see media usage. Sometimes I feel in my gut like he is hiding something. Has anyone else felt something similar? Or over analyzed everything they said or when they were quiet? Or look at the amount of semen to tell if they came before? I am in need of help. Our sex life is great, but I cannot stop. Thoughts? BTW I bought a VAR and I am going to put it in his car...


Do you think he is cheating? A VAR is an invasion of privacy I would only recommend if you thought he was in an affair.

Is looking at porn a deal breaker for you? Sounds like your sex life is good. Where's the problem?

Are you certain about the stains? Most men don't just jizz in their underwear and leave it.

Are you happy with your life? How was your childhood?


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

sandcastle said:


> And forget about maintaining your pride and self- respect.
> 
> You are worth more than checking dirty boxers. I know you are.


 Thanks, I know I am a good woman, but have a lot of insecurities. I feel like he is out to get me. I am no saint but he could care less abt what I do. He knows men look at me at the gym or wherever but he just doesn?t care... Hurts so much - being with a pseudo sociopath ain?t easy. He loves porn. Always secretive abt everything and very judgmental. I love him but sometimes I feel I am so much better than him and want to catch him doing something so I can kick him out. The 2 kids though... it would shatter their world.


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

ButtPunch said:


> Bianca Stella said:
> 
> 
> > Just a quick post to find some help... How can I stop obsessing abt my husbands porn or mast habits. We have a great sex life but I cannot stop checking his boxers to find cum stains from the day when he is working. He wears ugly, old boxers and I usually find 2 or 3 semen stains.
> ...


 the stains seem to be leftover from the tip. I don?t think he is cheating physically. Could be all online and/or fb. My childhood was phenomenal, I am not that happy since I put on weight but still good looking (ppl say) - but seriously this is affecting me so much! My mind is constantly obsessing and he is just having a great time fapping away.


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## intuitionoramiwrong (Mar 18, 2014)

Have you asked him about this?


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Bianca Stella said:


> the stains seem to be leftover from the tip. I don?t think he is cheating physically. Could be all online and/or fb. My childhood was phenomenal, I am not that happy since I put on weight but still good looking (ppl say) - but seriously this is affecting me so much! My mind is constantly obsessing and he is just having a great time fapping away.


Obsessing isn't good and i can feel a controlling nature about you.

I would get some counseling for your insecurities and obsessive behavior.

We are each responsible for our own happiness. 

Why do you have to catch your husband doing something wrong to leave?

I will say this. Masturbation to porn is very common among married men (all men for that matter).

If you have a healthy sex life, what's the problem?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

If you want to kick him out, then kick him out. If you look long enough for a reason you will find it - whether or not its real. 

Your marriage is providing a terrible role model for your children - don't stay in it for them. (here I'm speaking as someone who was raised by parents in a loveless marriage). 



Bianca Stella said:


> Thanks, I know I am a good woman, but have a lot of insecurities. I feel like he is out to get me. I am no saint but he could care less abt what I do. He knows men look at me at the gym or wherever but he just doesn?t care... Hurts so much - being with a pseudo sociopath ain?t easy. He loves porn. Always secretive abt everything and very judgmental. I love him but sometimes *I feel I am so much better than him and want to catch him doing something so I can kick him out*. The 2 kids though... it would shatter their world.


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## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

Bianca Stella said:


> Thanks, I know I am a good woman, but have a lot of insecurities. I feel like he is out to get me. I am no saint but he could care less abt what I do. He knows men look at me at the gym or wherever but he just doesn?t care... Hurts so much - being with a pseudo sociopath ain?t easy. He loves porn. Always secretive abt everything and very judgmental. I love him but sometimes I feel I am so much better than him and want to catch him doing something so I can kick him out. The 2 kids though... it would shatter their world.


Perhaps he doesn't seem to 'care' because he trusts that you are faithful. 

If your sex life is great, and he doesn't ever deny you intimacy, and also comes on to you.. I don't see why his masturbation should bother you. Case in point, I masturbate much more often than my SO does, but my drive is also much higher than his AND I never reject his advances. He told me it would only bother him if I was actively choosing to pleasure myself INSTEAD of him.


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## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

Bianca Stella said:


> I love him but sometimes I feel I am so much better than him and want to catch him doing something so I can kick him out. The 2 kids though... it would shatter their world.


I was so eager to respond to the other part of your post, that I completely missed this sentence. 

You should leave him and it's not because I think you ARE better than him. I think he deserves to be with a woman who views herself as his equal. 

Sorry, but nothing I have read leads me to believe he is a terrible partner or even cheating on you.


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## sandcastle (Sep 5, 2014)

You being a "good person" has nothing to do with your"obsession" and "checking boxers" or how many men look at you at the gym.

You actually asked posters if they " look at semen"deposits to determine what?

But- you have a great sex life.

Good luck checking panty stains for the rest of your life.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Not sure why it upsets you that he is not jelous. That is not healthy. That being said stains after work seems very strange. I know it happens but J'ing off at work regularly is at the very least not appropriate. Don't know very many people who do it, so I would at least start to investigate if that is really what is going on.


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## intuitionoramiwrong (Mar 18, 2014)

Bianca Stella said:


> Thanks, I know I am a good woman, but have a lot of insecurities.* I feel like he is out to get me.* I am no saint but he could care less abt what I do. He knows men look at me at the gym or wherever but he just doesn?t care... Hurts so much - being with a pseudo sociopath ain?t easy. He loves porn. Always secretive abt everything and very judgmental. I love him but sometimes I feel I am so much better than him and want to catch him doing something so I can kick him out. The 2 kids though... it would shatter their world.


This is alarming. What do you mean by it?


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## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

Sounds like you're looking to catch him doing something wrong so you can leave him, according to your own post saying as much. Maybe the problem is you?


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Why are you insanely jealous of his self love if you want to leave him? Pardon me, but that’s kind of odd. If you want to leave him, it would seem you’d be happier that he’s practicing self love if it meant that he would leave you alone? And how do you know that it’s actually semen? I’m not a man, but I know that my husband will occasionally have small spots in his boxers from randomly getting an erection and then losing it. There’s no real ejaculate, but there is that bit of liquid that comes out (I can’t remember what it’s called). And random erections aren’t cause for concern, to my knowledge it can happen to men several times a day.


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

Primrose said:


> Bianca Stella said:
> 
> 
> > I love him but sometimes I feel I am so much better than him and want to catch him doing something so I can kick him out. The 2 kids though... it would shatter their world.
> ...


 It is impossible to find someone ?equal? we are all different! Some of us are better than others in all areas. He has told me himself that Iam a better person than he is. Who are you to judge? I just put my problem out here in the TAM universe, wasn?t looking to be judged with anger, wanted some guidance instead. Thanks but take it easy!


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Do you really believe you're better than him? Why?

I can see thinking to yourself that you're better than a situation that you're in. Or that you deserve better treatment than you're receiving. But you believe that you're a better human being than him? Why?


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

LosingHim said:


> Do you really believe you're better than him? Why?
> 
> I can see thinking to yourself that you're better than a situation that you're in. Or that you deserve better treatment than you're receiving. But you believe that you're a better human being than him? Why?


 You can?t possibly think that we?re all equal. Maybe in the eyes of God, but not objectively and when it comes to behavior, feelings, mentality, morality, you get the point. Even he has said that to me. Don?t you know people that are better than you? Or worse?


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Bianca Stella said:


> You can?t possibly think that we?re all equal. Maybe in the eyes of God, but not objectively and when it comes to behavior, feelings, mentality, morality, you get the point. Even he has said that to me. Don?t you know people that are better than you? Or worse?


I’d never look at someone as better or worse than me. People are different than me. Someone may be funnier than me, that doesn’t make them better. I may give more to charity than my neighbor but it doesn’t make me better than her. My friend has a child with special needs and she does an amazing job at taking care of him, something I don’t think I could ever do, but that doesn’t mean she’s better than me. I like to organize drives to raise money for people in need and help people. That doesn’t mean I’m better than my husband who has never done that before. I could go on and on.

So no. I don’t think you’re better than your husband just because he said that. You’re just different than your husband, that does not make you “better” at all.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Bianca Stella said:


> Thanks, I know I am a good woman, but have a lot of insecurities. I feel like he is out to get me. I am no saint but he could care less abt what I do. He knows men look at me at the gym or wherever but he just doesn?t care... Hurts so much - being with a pseudo sociopath ain?t easy. He loves porn. Always secretive abt everything and very judgmental. I love him but sometimes I feel I am so much better than him and want to catch him doing something so I can kick him out. The 2 kids though... it would shatter their world.


You do not seem to like your husband too well, do you?

Your hate the underwear he uses (it's "ugly") you are angry with him because he trusts you with other men, you feel that he is out to "get" you, you see (or perceive that you see) semen stains on his underwear, you have given him a diagnosis that he is a pseudo sociopath. Either he is a sociopath or he isn't, there's no such thing as a pseudo sociopath... and you want to kick him out.

What you have said might seem paranoid. ("Out to get you" in what way? Shouldn't you inform the police if you believe he wants to harm you?)

Are you certain it is semen? If it is, it might be a sign of masturbation (and that's a problem for what reason?) or it might be a sign of cheating (which would be a problem) or it could be a completely natural occurrence. Have you used Google or Bing to research on why some men have involuntary emissions of sperm?


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

I can't wait for the next chapter of Bianca Stella: Cum Detective


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

toblerone said:


> I can't wait for the next chapter of Bianca Stella: Cum Detective


Spit out my coffee on that one. :grin2:


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

LosingHim said:


> Why are you insanely jealous of his self love if you want to leave him? Pardon me, but that?s kind of odd. If you want to leave him, it would seem you?d be happier that he?s practicing self love if it meant that he would leave you alone? And how do you know that it?s actually semen? I?m not a man, but I know that my husband will occasionally have small spots in his boxers from randomly getting an erection and then losing it. There?s no real ejaculate, but there is that bit of liquid that comes out (I can?t remember what it?s called). And random erections aren?t cause for concern, to my knowledge it can happen to men several times a day.





LosingHim said:


> Bianca Stella said:
> 
> 
> > You can?t possibly think that we?re all equal. Maybe in the eyes of God, but not objectively and when it comes to behavior, feelings, mentality, morality, you get the point. Even he has said that to me. Don?t you know people that are better than you? Or worse?
> ...


 the whole post you wrote was about you being better in a passive agreesive and even condescending way. You threw in the special needs card. Good one! Anyway, generally speaking and when it comes to virtues I have an abundance compared to my husband and we are both fine with it. Now let?s get back to semen.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

There is a concept in mathematical geometry of a "metric". An example is the straight line distance between two points on the earth. For any two points you can define a distance, and say which distance is larger. When there is a metric, it means that there is a single number to measure something. 

Sometimes there is more than one. Red light has larger wavelength than blue light. But blue light has higher frequency than red light. Either can be larger depending on the measurement you use. 


When you are talking about people there are a very wide variety of attributes - size, various types of intelligence, empathy, strength, determination, selfishness, wealth, etc etc. There is no single measurement that everyone agrees on that will let you say that person A is better than person B 

It is fair to say that by some specified measure person A is better. For example, if you count wealth, Bill Gates is better than I am. Even then its tricky - its not clear if Bill Gates is wealthier than John D Rockefeller was. Depends on how you measure. 


So I don't think you can compare people in an absolute way. People are all different, but there is not simple way to put a single value on them and compare. 







Bianca Stella said:


> You can?t possibly think that we?re all equal. Maybe in the eyes of God, but not objectively and when it comes to behavior, feelings, mentality, morality, you get the point. Even he has said that to me. Don?t you know people that are better than you? Or worse?


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## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

Bianca Stella said:


> the whole post you wrote was about you being better in a passive agreesive and even condescending way. You threw in the special needs card. Good one! Anyway, generally speaking and when it comes to virtues I have an abundance compared to my husband and we are both fine with it. Now let?s get back to semen.


I'm much more likely to gauge someone's "better-ness" (I know that is not a word) by their disbelief such a point system even exists. :scratchhead:

But hey, one thing is for certain. You most definitely are not lacking when it comes to ego. More power to ya. Which begs the question- since you do hold yourself to such a high standard, why not search for someone who can fit into your generalized idea of greatness? I wouldn't want to stay with someone whom I felt was so far 'beneath' me in all areas of virtue.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Bianca Stella said:


> the whole post you wrote was about you being better in a passive agreesive and even condescending way. You threw in the special needs card. Good one! Anyway, generally speaking and when it comes to virtues I have an abundance compared to my husband and we are both fine with it. Now let?s get back to semen.


You're NOT better than your husband. The mere fact that you think you are for any number of reasons proves that fact. Have fun looking at his underwear.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Bianca Stella said:


> Just a quick post to find some help... How can I stop obsessing abt my husbands porn or mast habits. We have a great sex life but I cannot stop checking his boxers to find cum stains from the day when he is working. He wears ugly, old boxers and I usually find 2 or 3 semen stains.
> I know he looks at porn in the car or maybe in the bathroom at work.
> How can I get over this? Why am I so jealous? I also constantly check our phone bill to see media usage. Sometimes I feel in my gut like he is hiding something. Has anyone else felt something similar? Or over analyzed everything they said or when they were quiet? Or look at the amount of semen to tell if they came before? I am in need of help. Our sex life is great, but I cannot stop. Thoughts? BTW I bought a VAR and I am going to put it in his car...


Ahhh jeez. That'll teach me to eat yogurt while reading the Infidelity board.

Forgetting about forensics on his underwear for a minute, whatever happened with the VAR and the keylogging software program you were getting advice on and going to put into place two weeks go?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I may have missed. Has he given you reason to not trust him?


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

uhtred said:


> I may have missed. Has he given you reason to not trust him?


1- he fantasizes a lot abt other ppl, he once told me that he needed to think of a specific woman to masturbate, could be a woman he saw at the store or anyone attractive 
2- porn addict (he claims he doesn?t have time anymore) bs
3- a few blocked calls he made for a total of 8 min
4- gets quiet and weird sometimes and makes me want to puke when I picture things
5- abt to enter midlife crisis territory 
6- I gained weight 
7- Boredom


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Bianca Stella said:


> 1- he fantasizes a lot abt other ppl, he once told me that he needed to think of a specific woman to masturbate, could be a woman he saw at the store or anyone attractive
> 2- porn addict (he claims he doesn?t have time anymore) bs
> 3- a few blocked calls he made for a total of 8 min
> 4- gets quiet and weird sometimes and makes me want to puke when I picture things
> ...


1) Not a reason not to trust him. Most men/people fantasize about someone while masturbating.
2) How is he an addict? Please clarify that statement. 
3) Have you asked him about the blocked calls? If so, what does he say? This is a mild red flag - depending on what they truly are
4) Not sure I understand what this even means, but sounds more like your own self admitted paranoia than anything else
5) Is there a scientific reason you think this? Because of his age? 
6) So? You don't trust HIM because YOU gained weight? 
7) He's bored so you don't trust him? Or you're bored so you're looking for reasons not to trust him?

You're on an infidelity site. So far, your reasons for being here are that you THINK your husband still watches porn and possibly masturbates in the car. And 8 minutes of blocked phone calls. These aren't huge red flags, or really even mild ones. What do you think your husband is doing? Watching too much porn? Cheating? You're really vague with what you're actually trying to accomplish.


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

LosingHim said:


> Bianca Stella said:
> 
> 
> > 1- he fantasizes a lot abt other ppl, he once told me that he needed to think of a specific woman to masturbate, could be a woman he saw at the store or anyone attractive
> ...


 you are a tough cookie woman! But I like you somehow. What?s your story? I?m relatively new to the site. I came here because something in my gut is telling me that my husband is up to something. I can sense it, no solid proof yet. I have the VAR but I also have fear. I swear this **** thing is going to get me fired, I?m in limbo, can?t even workout. So... what is your story?


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

8 minutes of blocked calls? Dude gets off quick.


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## Bianca Stella (Sep 26, 2017)

toblerone said:


> 8 minutes of blocked calls? Dude gets off quick.


 my guess is they FaceTime while having virtual sex and he calls to say goodbye after finishing. I am *** dead, zombie like almost.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

My story is around here and not really something that I want to relive. My husband also viewed a lot of porn, which I didn't have an issue with, but he lied about it which I did have an issue with. However, his porn viewing didn't mean he was cheating. That didn't come til many years down the road - depending on how you look at it. At any rate, my gut has never let me down so I tend to listen to it. However, if you really think something is going on - you have very little to go on. The many people here who have been cheated on can tell you your list of reasons aren't really reasons. 

I'm still curious what he said about the blocked calls? Our phone bill shows calls as blocked at times and then later update to show the number. Is he secretive with his phone? Does he have a passcode? Do you have his passwords? Does he hide things from you? Does he get angry when you ask questions? If you want help, you're going to have to start answering questions that people are asking you instead of asking more questions or no one is going to be able to help you out in what you need to do.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

Bianca Stella said:


> my guess is they FaceTime while having virtual sex and he calls to say goodbye after finishing. I am *** dead, zombie like almost.


Man that's like rolling over and falling asleep right after cumming, then not saying anything to her until you wake up to leave to go home a few hours later.

(Why not say goodbye while on FaceTime jerkoff session?)


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I had the same problem 5 years ago. We looked for ways to solve it and found it in male chastity. We Googled it and found all sorts of things to do with worshipping women, BDSM, female led marriages and even allowing your wife to have sex with other guys. While those are all fetishes, they are not chastity. They use chastity as part of their larger fetish.

First thing I did was confess to my wife how much I masturbated. Most women have no idea of how much men masturbate. I was doing it up to 5 times a day which is why I never was in the mood for sex with my wife. Even if I was in the mood I had become used to very extreme forms of sex, so what she wanted to do did not arouse me. She was not acting like a porn star at all. She did not want to get into 5 different positions and let me do the things porn stars let guys do to them, for money of course.

I went online and found out about teasing and denial. I promised to not mastrubate and give her full control over my orgasms. We still had regular sex and the only thing missing was the 10 seconds of my orgasm. She left me hard and horny. She put off my orgasm for a week at first and when I did orgasm, it was very intense. Over time she extended my orgasm denial period until I told her I could not promise her that I could hold out for as long as she wished.

I agreed to wear a chastity device. It is not like the Medieval ones you think of. This was a plastic cage with various sizes of rings and spacers to get a perfect fit no matter how big or small you are down there. Over the next few months I got used to wearing it all the time. It is locked and my wife has the keys. We still have sex and some times she unlocks me and sometimes she does not. Sex focuses on her orgasms, not mine, and as a result my wife is having some of the best orgasms of her life. She can do with guys do and just enjoy sex without thinking about pleasing their partner. She can lay back and ask me to please her orally and when done walk away. She rarely does that though. My warning is to ignore all the Chastity sites that focus more on female worship, humiliation and other stuff other than tease and denial while locked up.

It is now 5 years since I last masturbated. I have learned that by lowering the number of my orgasms that I have more energy and feel better. I am always ready for sex and my wife merely has to kiss me once to arouse me. She loves that I treat her as the sexiest woman on earth. I also want to do more for her and hardly argue anymore. It is not for everyone but even some big name pharmacies online sell these chastity devices like the CB6000, for masturbation control. The practice has become much more possible due to new technology and the influx of cheap Chinese clones of the popular devices. I wear a custom made stainless steel device that cost $300 but started off with the CB6000 to see how it went. It has saved our marriage and I did not realize how depressed and low energy I got after an orgasm. In fact that is why we mastrubate so much. There are articles about neurochemistry of an orgasm and the aftermath. A simple explanation is that it is like heroin. After the high disappears you body misses the chemicals that produced it so we have another orgasm. They are free after all and not illegal.

Before anyone else says it, I too thought it was stupid to not orgasm as much as I could. I thought that it was good for me to do so but it turns out that the opinions are divided. A study of celibate priests showed that they had healthier prostates and lived longer than men who had orgasms. You can find proof for either side of that argument like most things in life. I lived with my wife and a girlfriend we shared. I would orgasm in our nightly threesome and then with each girl individually. Sometimes also with one of my girlfriends when I had one outside of out poly triad. Yet I still masturbated before I went to sleep. I even masturbated while in combat in the jungles of Vietnam. 

Despite being very skeptical and thinking it was ridiculous we were at wit's end so we gave it a try. It will be 5 years next month. I went from weekly orgasm denial to having 2-4 orgams a year and I no longer miss them and really do not want them because I feel so much better without them. Just ignore all the other stuff you read about chastity play. Most are written by single guys as masturbation fodder even if they say they are females. Just focus on the tease and denial stuff as we do. I do not worship my wife as a superior being. She does not force me to wear female clothes or expect me to be her slave and housekeeper. We just live our regular lives, have sex whenever we want but just skip those 10 seconds of my orgasm. It is extremely pleasurable to be edged to the brink of an orgasm over and over but not being allowed to orgasm.

What we do is very similar to Karezza and Tantric sex. Google them. It is the practice of having lots of sex but foregoing the orgasm until a future date. It does make you more intimate with each other. I notice the change in how I treat my wife too. It has brought us closer emotionally and it took a 65 year old women who had given up on sex and turned her into an orgasm seeking female with two vibrators and orgasm so intense that they border on pain. She not only has sex with me but also masturbates sometimes which she had not done for a very long time. One other word of warning should you look into this as many wives are doing for the same exact problem which plagues the current generation and results in less sex now than we had in my generation when sex was dirty and for procreation only. Porn is free and readily available even on phones. it is easier for men to masturbate to any type of sex they want without showering, and all that other stuff that goes into preparing for sex. Especially having to make your partner orgasm too.

One last thing, men are trying to get their wives to "Hold" their keys. They spring it upon their wives all of a sudden and not get into it like we did. The wife is shocked and a list of benefits for the wife is presented. The same list you can find all over the internet. It is BS. It is a list to show your wife how SHE benefits from you chastity. She turns into a dominatrix overnight while the man becomes her willing slave doing all the housework while she can sit and watch TV all day. It is pure Male BS as are the Chastity contracts men draw up which read like a user's manual. If I do this then you do that. It basically forces their wives to do what they really want them to do by simply breaking a rule. Just ignore all that stuff. If you want to incorporate chastity into a larger fetish, go ahead but chastity can stand on its own. Problem is that couples like us do not post in Chastity forums because they are run by self appointed Mistresses and populated by guys who like to dress like girls or feel like girls, as well as though into female worship and lots of single guys living their sex life online and posting BS stuff.

It worked for us and a few other couples we know. The problem is that despite the falsehoods found online, the male can still masturbate no matter what he is locked into, one of several ways. Guys will claim that they cannot masturbate anymore and all sorts of male fantasy games online. The truth is that the male has to have self control or else it will not work. I can make myself orgasm now if i wanted to in one of three ways but I do not. It is not the chastity device that keeps me chaste, but rather the promise to my wife. That is the only way it works outside of the fantasy land you find online. Check this out for a starter:

Male chastity, form, function, and fantasy - AboutFLR.com

No need to tell me how stupid it is or that is cannot save a marriage or make it better. I thought all of the same things and yet it has changed our marriage for the better and we are having some great sex in our mid sixties when none of our friends are even having sex anymore.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Yes... I felt something was off and had been for a long while... I knew he was hiding something. I just wasnt sure what. In july while i was staying with my mother. He confessed he's addicted to porn!!.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Bianca Stella said:


> Just a quick post to find some help... How can I stop obsessing abt my husbands porn or mast habits. We have a great sex life but I cannot stop checking his boxers to find cum stains from the day when he is working. He wears ugly, old boxers and I usually find 2 or 3 semen stains.
> I know he looks at porn in the car or maybe in the bathroom at work.
> How can I get over this? Why am I so jealous? I also constantly check our phone bill to see media usage. Sometimes I feel in my gut like he is hiding something. Has anyone else felt something similar? Or over analyzed everything they said or when they were quiet? Or look at the amount of semen to tell if they came before? I am in need of help. Our sex life is great, but I cannot stop. Thoughts? BTW I bought a VAR and I am going to put it in his car...


2 or 3 semen stains? How does it work: does he cum in the underwear you mean? Usually, the underwear should be drenched and pretty much unwearable if one does a 'sexy explosion', in Borat's words. But twice?
Or do you mean he is dripping? (Does this happen to guys? I never noticed.) Maybe he has a prostate problem?

Can I ask how you _know_ that he is looking at porn in his car or at work in the bathroom? Do you have a reason to suspect that he does apart from the stains?

I dunno...if I kept checking my wife's underwear for signs of any liquids, I'd probably freak out too on occasion...
How about browser history? Does it matter if he looks at porn if you still have a great sex life anyway? Porn is a problem if it affects your sex life (IMO).


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Vinnydee said:


> I even masturbated while in combat in the jungles of Vietnam.


This should be compulsory in any war. We would have much less wars if everyone was ordered to masturbate while in combat! You sir, are a true hero!



Vinnydee said:


> Despite being very skeptical and thinking it was ridiculous we were at wit's end so we gave it a try. It will be 5 years next month. I went from weekly orgasm denial to *having 2-4 orgams a year* and I no longer miss them and really do not want them because I feel so much better without them.


Oh wow. Maybe the solution for all the men complaining about being denied sex on these boards would be to imagine a metaphorical chastity belt and their wives denying them as an ongoing tease and all problems solved?

But in seriousness: isn't there a belief (in one of the Eastern religions) that foregoing orgasms can make you immortal? I forget which.
Ancient Egyptians I think. They knew how to throw a good tease!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

OP:
1: A large percentage of people fantasize. This really is normal behavior

2. How much porn does he watch and how do you know? Does he watch porn and then turn you down for sex? Is the issue that he watches porn, or that you think he is addicted? They are different things.

3. What is a "blocked" call? Sorry, I don't understand the phrase. Do you mean he blocked his number when he made the call? Where did you see these? If he is hiding calls it could be because he is sex chatting with women but it could also be because he is contacting a divorce attorney. (not kidding about this). 

4. He gets quiet? Maybe he is unhappy? What is he doing to make you picture things? What are you picturing?

5. Is this based on age? People vary a lot when the have their mid-life crisis, and how they respond differs. I had mine in my early 50s and the result was my applying for a job at Google. 

6. That is you not him. If you think your weight is unhealthy, then do something about it for you. Has he complained about your weight?

7. Has he said he is bored? Have you given him reason to be bored? Do you try to keep you relationship exciting and fresh?

What is wonderful about him? What makes you think you should be together for the rest of your lives. What does he do to make you happy? What do you do to make him happy:

B.S. You may be seeing things that I am not, but I don't see anything suspicious here. I think you have made yourself paranoid and may well drive him away very soon. If he walks, he won't come back - once someone gets out of a relationship with a paranoid controlling person, they are unlikely to go back. I'm not trying to be mean, but I honestly think that you are in the process of destroying your marriage. If he were here, I would counsel him to divorce you. 











Bianca Stella said:


> 1- he fantasizes a lot abt other ppl, he once told me that he needed to think of a specific woman to masturbate, could be a woman he saw at the store or anyone attractive
> 2- porn addict (he claims he doesn?t have time anymore) bs
> 3- a few blocked calls he made for a total of 8 min
> 4- gets quiet and weird sometimes and makes me want to puke when I picture things
> ...


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