# You ever date ugly people in the hopes that they won't cheat on you?



## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Me and my friend were talking about it (She found out she was being cheated on) and she cracked a joke about how the next guy she dated would be much uglier, just so he wouldn't cheat. She was serious!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

but then she will end up cheating! haven't you ever heard of the sex rank?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

if you want to be happy the rest of your life....get yourself an ulgy wife.

you tube it.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

If I found someone "ugly" I wouldn't want to date them. Besides, cheating isn't confined to the physically beautiful. I'm pretty sure that unattractive people are perfectly capable of cheating, too.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Cheating happens with people of all shapes, sizes, and beauty. It is not confined to just attractive people.

Also, cheating has more to do with someone's insides than their outsides. It's what is in their minds that allows someone to cheat.


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## MRABoysHaveSmallPeanut (Mar 13, 2014)

How do you determine who is ugly and who is not? I assume all the posters in this thread are beautiful and not ugly themselves, of course.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

FrenchFry said:


> Tell her it's a horrible strategy-cheating knows no beauty (or lack there of.) Ugly people might cheat because of low-self esteem too, you know?
> 
> I was cheated on by a freaking missionary--it just doesn't really seem to matter!


Totally agree!

I have researched infidelity for years and I have been amazed at who cheats and with who! Sometimes attractive people cheat with rather homely partners.

Norajane hits it with "what is inside".

Your friend might want to start viewing herself differently in regards to who she will be involved with. There are higher class guys out there but you have to stop sleeping with trolls to probably find one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honeysuckle (Feb 23, 2014)

To quote a saying " Beauty is in the eye if the beholder"


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

my idea of beauty has changed a lot of the years!


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## 45188 (Sep 13, 2012)

Thanks all, Im gonna show her this thread.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I only date women with integrity - who happen to be attractive (to me).

Of course, determining integrity can take some time, but if I find they lack it in any area, it's over.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

As someone said, what is ugly?

I have struggled with feelings of ugliness since late teens.

Perhaps this is why I am far more concerned about peoples inner beauty.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> I only date women with integrity - who happen to be attractive (to me).
> 
> Of course, determining integrity can take some time, but if I find they lack it in any area, it's over.


Second that. Trouble is, under extreme circumstances, integrity is not an absolute.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

It worked for my wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

kipani said:


> Me and my friend were talking about it (She found out she was being cheated on) and she cracked a joke about how the next guy she dated would be much uglier, just so he wouldn't cheat. She was serious!


And with that attitude she has, he will be more likely to cheat on her.

Hope the guy is spared, whoever he is.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

People forget how much personality plays into attraction. the wife of my husband's friend that he was so eager to keep happy was not especially attractive.

and as well, my fiance's EA was fat (self-described as 50 pounds overweight). My fiance only mentioned that once.

In both situations, the women appeared to be hyperactive in your face types. 

As far as men. I think those who "got game" can make themselves attractive to a a variety of women.

Still, I choose a man that I find sexy AND that focuses on me (after I told him to get rid of the b!tch)


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

> my idea of beauty has changed a lot of the years!


I gave up on beauty. Mentally stable is all I asked for and that proved to be surprisingly hard to find as well.


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## learning to love myself (Apr 18, 2013)

I was chased and pursed hard by my first boyfriend (over a year) I wasn't one bit attracted to him even when I finally went out with him. 

He was the total bad boy type which is what finally attracted me enough to give him a chance, not looks by any means.

I suffer from very low self esteem and once this boy hooked me, he cheated on me with any and every girl he could for over 8 years. 

His friends would say to me, your way to hot for him leave him you can do better (of course they were hitting on me).

I would not leave him, As I have gotten older I now realize it was a Stockholm syndrome type of thing

The Point I'm trying to make is: Looks will not determine a persons qualities, Ugly people cheat too!!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Attractive people who cheat with no remorse ARE ugly.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

kipani said:


> *Me and my friend were talking about it (She found out she was being cheated on) and she cracked a joke about how the next guy she dated would be much uglier, just so he wouldn't cheat. She was serious!*


I just find what she said very  somehow.. sure it was a Joke...and she is not going to follow up on it....if she is not really attracted...it's true, she'll just break HIS heart then... is this any better... one settling for another.. .. We all want to be loved and cherished for who we are. 

I think we get into a lot of trouble if we allow ourselves to sleep with someone before we really take *the time *to know them emotionally...intellectually...and build some *trust* through shared experiences...what makes them tick, their dreams, aspirations.. what they want out of a relationship...and what about their lover history... what type of friends they hang with... how compatible they are outside of the bedroom... 

We must be careful not to jump blindly.. no one is perfect, but some are surely more of a *risk* over others...depending on lifestyle choices...and their boundaries with the opposite sex -that's a big [email protected]#$.....

The red flags are generally there... if we give it some time..


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

These types of discussions always remind me of a woman I worked with and who has been a close friend for years. She is physically the definition of "plain" but she opens her mouth and is about as close to a 10 as one could be.

I used to be a colleague of her now husband who told me when he first saw her that he thought she was "a real dog". Funny how that changed when he got to know her.

I remember working with a gal in retail who had to be one of the homeliest looking people I had ever seen. I mean it was literally hard to look at her .................until you got to know her. I still smile a bit when I recall the first time her husband came in to take her to lunch. Let's just say that when he walked in women swooned. 

I really do not have time for people who judge others by their looks.


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## DanglingDaisy (Mar 26, 2012)

I have been over 200lbs and *ugly* and I have been slender and attractive. 

I would hate to have gone back in time and thought that my relationships existed not because of who I am but that I was less likely to cheat etc? 

Obviously your friend needs time to heal from the pain of being cheated on. Tell her not to date until she's gotten over the event, I would hate for her *ugly* partner in the future to find out she chose him for that reason?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> if you want to be happy the rest of your life....get yourself an ulgy wife.
> 
> you tube it.


I simply HATE this saying/song.

So I am a very attractive woman but I am also a very good person, have never cheated and would never cheat. I wash, cook, clean, do house renovations, am an excellent parent, VHD and enjoy sex daily. 
I adore and cherish my man and am excellent wife/partner material.

If you have low self esteem and are not an attractive man then maybe finding an equally unattractive wife is the go. Leave the rest of us out of it though.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

It boils down to integrity and emotional maturity. Looks have nothing to do with it. I do hope your friend is joking.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

As I see it now it's a crap shoot one way or another. You marry the man or woman you want. Attractive or not and they can present themselves as good moral people. Then they can still cheat. You are never guaranteed anything except what you do and what you control.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Thound said:


> It worked for my wife.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

My ex was not attractive but I thought he was beautiful. Now I have been told I'm beautiful however my ex cheated on me numerous of times, over and over and over again. He also had a relationship with another woman while he was with me. My take on it is if someone is going to cheat they will no matter who it is.


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## browneyes74 (Sep 1, 2013)

No, but honestly, I think that is one of MY issues in that I dated "down" in terms of attractiveness, intelligence etc.. My 2 husbands were most definitely.. 

I think in some ways that I was looking for that security, as sad as it is to say.. 

Know what I got? 2 men that tore me down on a daily basis so that I wouldn't think myself better than them. Or cheat on them. Or leave them.. 

And the 2nd one ended up cheating on me.. 

I had gained a ton of weight during our marriage (depression related I believe now) and felt horrible. And I remember how insidious he was about his cut downs.. When we'd go out, he'd say, "oh so and so said they barely recognized you b/c of all the weight you've gained. I think they're nuts. *I* still think you look attractive" This was EVERY.SINGLE.TIME we went somewhere. I stopped wanting to go anywhere, I felt like a troll. 

I think his insecurity caused him to tear me down. And his insecurity caused him to cheat. When I would try to diet, he'd sabotage it, and say, if you lose weight, you'll find some hot guy and dump me. 

Now, ironically, I've lost all the weight I gained with him, look the best I've looked in my life and he's PISSED.. '

Someone made the comment to me the other day (who's known us both for a long time), "wow, you were always a step up for him, but Now, you are OUT OF HIS LEAGUE" 

I'll admit, that made me feel good. 

And honestly, this time, I'm going to look for someone more compatible looks, intelligence, views, etc. wise.. 

I don't know.. I had a friend say the same thing. And her ugly boyfriend cheated on her. 

And the truly sad thing? I would not have called my husband ugly, but he was a little goofy looking.. I would have loved him forever if he had not become an addict, a cheater and a liar.. true story


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

kipani said:


> Me and my friend were talking about it (She found out she was being cheated on) and she cracked a joke about how the next guy she dated would be much uglier, just so he wouldn't cheat. She was serious!


That is a female sentiment and a common one in China

Some men date ugly girls hoping they are easy.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

kipani said:


> Me and my friend were talking about it (She found out she was being cheated on) and she cracked a joke about how the next guy she dated would be much uglier, just so he wouldn't cheat. She was serious!


First of all, beauty is more than meets the eye. Some of the most beautiful people I know aren't exactly models. 

And secondly, it's a horrible strategy. Cheating is not done just by those who are physically good looking, it doesn't discriminate like that. My ex wasn't the best looking and I had thought he was a nice guy, but he cheated on me with his female coworker whom he was "just friends" with.


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## damagedgoods1 (Nov 8, 2013)

My position is: Even if your spouse couldn't get a date to save his/her life before you got married, he/she became 1000 times more desirable thanks to that ring you put on his/her finger. Unfortunately, there are predators out there specifically looking to score with married people.

It's a conscious decision to cheat, it's not about looks.


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> my idea of beauty has changed a lot of the years!


The second girl I dated was someone who knew my friends. I remember thinking to myself "that is a really weird looking girl"; a year and a half later we were dating. 

That was the first girl I loved. My first girlfriend was "way better looking" to all my friends, but my oh my how the heart changes things. That was one hell of a girl! 

I agree with you 100%.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I think it's an amusing thing to say and I would've laughed with her, but I doubt she has any serious intention of following through.

At the end of the day we don't need to date at all, the human species isn't relying on each of us to reproduce, so for me, if it came down to dating someone I wasn't attracted to or not dating, I'd just not date.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Ugly people are less likely to cheat? That's news to me.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

I'd take ugly


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

OptimisticPessimist said:


> *The second girl I dated was someone who knew my friends. I remember thinking to myself "that is a really weird looking girl"; a year and a half later we were dating. *
> 
> That was the first girl I loved. My first girlfriend was "way better looking" to all my friends, but my oh my how the heart changes things. That was one hell of a girl!
> 
> I agree with you 100%.


Proof that women can up their desireability quotient by having a strong social circle.


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## struggle (May 13, 2013)

I really don't think looks has anything to do with cheating. My 1st XH cheated on me with a woman that looks like Austin Powers. And that's not my description that's from HIS friends. I would've called her a buck-toothed hillbilly sl*t...but ya know...I think theirs is way more fun...YEAH BABY










My experience is that it's the person's morals/values that make them cheat or not. 

Maybe sex rank plays into things, but I don't know lol. It's an interesting concept....maybe he'd be thankful enough to be dating you because you're so much hotter


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

NextTimeAround said:


> Proof that women can up their desireability quotient by having a strong social circle.


Hmm, didnt think of it that way. I suppose you are right though..

She was one of the few women Ive met who just seriously didnt give a f***. Always treated me with respect and only towards the end did she "test" me (and subtly, not by being a b****).

And really, this leads me to an important point. Confidence. My situation was unique- I was extremely close to my dad (like attached to his hip). We worked on cars together from when I was 8. He'd tell me I was playing hookey from school and take me to the beach so I could play and feed the seagulls while he wrote to family. Etc. Then bam, when I was 15 he died from cancer. My confidence went straight through the floor because I failed to frame things from the perspective of a man. While many others have stood tall in those kinds of situations, I failed to step up- you have to own that fact to fix it.

That girl was a great chick- I blew that relationship by not having confidence. This thread? Its ALL about confidence- if you feel more confident about your ability to hold a mate and are less clingy, combative, etc BECAUSE he/she is ugly, then yes ugly people will likely be more faithful to you. But its no different than if you had that confidence with a "10"... You will note I always encourage men to BE men- to BE the best version of themselves- because Ive seen first and secondhand what happens when you dont.

In fact, many would argue the prettier they are the MORE faithful they are IF you have confidence- people who can stand tall to their charm and looks and demand respect while projecting confidence are sought after since they are rare- most lookers can get whatever they want.

Anyways, enough with my rant


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