# Soo Frustrated



## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

Wife never wants sex. She just gets crazy uptight whenever we try to talk about it. She tries to pick a fight to get out of any discussion. She knows she has something to work through...so what is she doing last night? Watching some movie about African tribes where they mutilate girls' girl parts? Yeah, that should help! Then when I calmly suggest it might not be helpful she attacks me? Accusing me of purposely making her feel bad and mocking her? WTH?


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## mina (Jun 14, 2012)

sounds like it's time to spend an evening "out" (some mysterious place) buh-bye.


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## JoeRockStar (Jun 5, 2012)

Sorry to hear it Drover, that sucks.  Sounds like she has something deep-seated that's making her fear sex.

Since she doesn't want it, will she let you seek it elsewhere? Sex is an important part of a relationship and a basic human need, does she realize that she is hurting you by denying you this need?

Remind her that you have to feed a dog if you expect it to stay on your porch....


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Drover said:


> Wife never wants sex. She just gets crazy uptight whenever we try to talk about it. She tries to pick a fight to get out of any discussion. She knows she has something to work through...so what is she doing last night? Watching some movie about African tribes where they mutilate girls' girl parts? Yeah, that should help! Then when I calmly suggest it might not be helpful she attacks me? Accusing me of purposely making her feel bad and mocking her? WTH?


Oh deary me.

For goodness sake find a woman who does want sex with you.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Your wife wont have sex with you, shes to big, wont go the gym she wont wear her CPAP mask much, and all the other things you listed was wrong with her in the other thread about her. But yet you wont leave, and you wont accept her the way she is. I get that, so I guess you just stay and complain. Because she will NOT change just because you want her too.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

CallaLily said:


> Your wife wont have sex with you, shes to big, wont go the gym she wont wear her CPAP mask much, and all the other things you listed was wrong with her in the other thread about her. But yet you wont leave, and you wont accept her the way she is. I get that, so I guess you just stay and complain. Because she will NOT change just because you want her too.


What are you talking about? My wife isn't big. What is a CPAP mask? I think you're confusing me with someone else.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Drover said:


> What are you talking about? My wife isn't big. What is a CPAP mask? I think you're confusing me with someone else.


OOps wrong post, got you mixed up with another, sorry carry on.

CPAP mask is for people with sleep apnea.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

CallaLily said:


> OOps wrong post, got you mixed up with another, sorry carry on.
> 
> CPAP mask is for people with sleep apnea.


Heheh...that's ok. I'm noticing that about half the posts here are nearly identical too.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Yeah, lots of posts about sexless marriages here. It's sad, really.

No advice for you, Drover. Just sorry.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

some people seem to work harder at not having sex


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

My wife has perfected this to an artform. She doesn't even put anymore thought into it. The excuses come the moment she gets home from work to lay the ground work for later.

Sorry dude. I hope she changes but....


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## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

She sounds not just uptight but defensive and possibly insecure. Are there issues that she needs to work out? Has she felt secure and free with you in the past (sexually)? Just trying to get more background. 

I myself was (am) an insecure woman and became a master at getting out of sex with my ex.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

in my tree said:


> She sounds not just uptight but defensive and possibly insecure. Are there issues that she needs to work out? Has she felt secure and free with you in the past (sexually)? Just trying to get more background.
> 
> I myself was (am) an insecure woman and became a master at getting out of sex with my ex.


Yes, there are issues. But the issues she talks about are recent, whereas this has been going on 10 yrs. We've gone through periods where we were very sexual together. But it's been some years now. Are you still getting out of sex? If not, what changed?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

But if the rest of the relationship is good, why push sex? Oh. Sorry, that came out wrong! But I am sure you know what I mean!

have you thought about couples counselling?


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## in my tree (Jun 9, 2012)

Drover said:


> Yes, there are issues. But the issues she talks about are recent, whereas this has been going on 10 yrs. We've gone through periods where we were very sexual together. But it's been some years now. Are you still getting out of sex? If not, what changed?


Well we're finalizing the divorce so I guess that has changed everything. 

Hm... so it seems like she has both long term issues and recent issues. Wow. Maybe it's time for counseling? I know that it is natural for relationships to go through ebb and flows of more and less sexual periods but for one person to keep putting it off raises a big red flag that there are bigger issues to deal with. I hope you two can work on this together.


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