# WAW, should have listened to her past life experiences closer



## theryerye (Jan 9, 2013)

Hey all,

Where to begin...ah yes. I grew up in a small town in Washington, my parents split when I was 10 years old, and due to the long drives and every-other weekend visits, I swore I would never be divorced.
As a child, I loved to go fishing, and had an obsession with birds of prey, but that'll come later.

Fast forward, I am working a corporate job in Alaska and a new, very attractive, and incredibly sweet gal was hired on. After a few times working in the same office, I mustered the nerve to ask her out.

I found out that she was from the east coast, and had moved to Alaska to get away from an old life stlye; namely hard drugs and meaningless relationships. At the time I hadn't dated anyone for about 1 year. Never married before, no kids. I was 22. She was 25.

She had been through some really tough situations in life. Her mother was a swinger/however she was very successful business wise/ and had been married and divorced twice. My STBXW had 3 sisters.
My STBXW learned one thing from her mother-you don't need anyone, you can do anything on your own.
I can see how this has its place in the world, however if someone wishes to have a successful marriage, you need to be able to work in partnership.
In college, she used cocaine in heavy amounts, and dated the dealers.
She was a girl gone Wild.
She regretted her old lifestyle, and I told her that that didn't mean anything, unless she had dealt with it. She assured me that she had...

After spending 6 weeks enthralled with the idea that we were so excited with each other in our lives, we did it. We were married in 4ft of snow in Alaska on a mountain top.

A few months later, she became pregnant, and 3 months later we experienced a miscarriage. Scared of this happening again, we decided that she was going to have birth control.

After that I recieved a job offer that took us on a long drive down to Oregon, where we currently live. I currently work with birds of prey, and make decent money. Only catch is that the 5 birds all come home with me.

It was a lifestyle that prevented us from going on vacations or doing anything really, the birds required special attention on a daily basis, and nedless to say we were unhappy.

In April of 2011, my wiife left me, due to a series of agruments, that led to talks about divorce. 
She returned a moth later to attend marriage counseling through our church, it was a temporary fix. Over and over and over when we wouold have small arguments she would mention divorce.

Her rational thought process is non-existent.

I had become concerned that she had a chemical imbalance, due to drug use, or birth control, as her mood swings had become violent.

Our anniversary was on 12/31/2012, and she asked me out of the house after a series of small arguments spanning a few days time.

I was so sick of her crying wolf in the past, and using the threat of divorce against me that I went online and drew up paperwork.
She said she wanted the dogs, then she didn't want the dogs, then i was supposed to leave our rental house, now she is looking at a place with two girls she met recently.

During the last week, she has gotten an additional job to supplement her income.

Believing that this is what she truely wants, not me, I took the paperwork to the courthouse yesterday.


ugh. Last night i had food poisoning, vomting, diahhrea, the whole thing. Very sickly ///i walked over to her room and asked her to sing me to sleep, it didn't work as i would stay up until 3:00am this morning sick as i ever was.

Then it hit me, why did I submit the paperwork, why can she only be nice to me when i am ill, what the hell are we doing? I dont want to be alone without her.


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## theryerye (Jan 9, 2013)

additional, info. She has been giving me the cold shoulder a lot lately, should i call the court and stop the paperwork? i dont know if she will go to counseling, I feel very depressed and alone especially since im bed ridden.


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## TNman (Dec 24, 2012)

Sorry for what you are going through. Sounds like she has a lot of history and emotional baggage. If you want to hang on and try then stop the papers. I know I need to let go myself in my situation but it is so so difficult.


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