# I have a "stalker "



## 2ndchanceGuy (Sep 28, 2015)

I dated a woman for about 3 months over a year ago. ( both over 40 yrs old ) 
She ended up going back to her x-husband for a few months. 

Now that I am in a new relationship she contacts me using a "pinger app " on her phone. 

I have spoken to her enough to tell her it is over for good between us but its like she is obsessed with me. She says she understands but in a few weeks she starts back with the calls and texts.

I am close to a legal no contact / restraining order but hoped it would not come to this. 

I have her blocked in my phone and FB but this phone app lets her through. 
She even admitted she drives by my house once or twice a week hoping I'm home so she can stop and talk 

Is there any good way to get someone to leave you alone ?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Do not answer her at all. Tell her clearly never to contact you again for any reason and make that your final contact. After that if she calls or texts go talk to the police about getting a restraining order. Just an FYI they can be pretty hard to get if you are not being threatened. The first thing you'll need to show the police is that you have asked the person not to contact you.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Which app is she using to reach out to you?

Do you use the same app?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

Document everything. Get witnesses if possible along with their names, dates and times.

There is an order called a "peace order". It's just shy of a restraining order. It's a way to tell someone "stay the hell away from me please." 

You should probably pursue that before going all the way to restraining order.

You need to document that you have told this person several times to go away and not contact you. If they show up where you are in public whip your phone out and video them being there and that conversation. 

Another avenue may be to pay an attorney $75 to write this person a strongly worded memo. That might scare them to stay away. $75 is a lot cheaper than if you have to go to court.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

committed_guy said:


> *Document everything.* Get witnesses if possible along with their names, dates and times.
> 
> There is an order called a "peace order". It's just shy of a restraining order. It's a way to tell someone "stay the hell away from me please."
> 
> ...


How do you store "ping apps?"


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

She obviously hasn't gotten the message that you'd rather not see or talk to her again. If she shows up at your door, tell her you're calling the police and shut the door. Ignore all her attempts to communicate with you.


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## IamSomebody (Nov 21, 2014)

You need to send her a _Cease-and-Desist_ letter (never heard of a "peace order," maybe other than the US). 

You state in the letter that she is never to make any attempts of any type of communication with you again. You can state, being very specific, when you have told her not to contact you yet she continued to ignore you. If she has said in writing that she goes by your house hoping to talk to you, include this and tell her it *MUST *stop. You can state that failure to comply with this _Cease-and-Desist_ will result in legal action.

Send it by regular *AND *certified/return receipt requested mail. Even if she refuses the certified mail, you will have documentation for the U.S.P.S. that you attempted to send it. For the regular mail, you can get a proof of sending and you can also get a delivery tracking receipt where no one signs for it, but it has the U.S.P.S. scans showing its movement.

Print out, with full headers, any emails she sends to you and include screen shots of her FB comments. Also print out each text separately.

Go to your local police department and request a police report. These are _*NOT *_charges but a report by the police of events alleged to have happened. Take copies of her communication, as mentioned above, as well as the _Cease-and-Desist _letter. Then, if she violates this, you can call the police, inform them there is a police report (fabulous if you can give them the report number) as well as a _Cease-and-Desist _letter and have criminal charges, and a restraining order, filed against her.

Make sure you do *NOT*, in any way, shape or form, reply to her as that invalidates your _Cease-and-Desist_.

IamSomebody


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## 2ndchanceGuy (Sep 28, 2015)

One of the things I worry about is the fact that we live in a small community. The city is about 10,000 people 
We both know a lot of the same people around town. I use the bank where she works.

If it comes to it I suppose I can video her coming to my house etc so she know I have proof she is the aggressor. I could totally see her attemp to turn this around and try to make me look bad. 
I just keep hoping enough time will pass and she will realize it really is over.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> How do you store "ping apps?"


I don't know what app your are using. Check it's settings to see if it can store history. 

The other thing is you can take screen shots of your device.

For Apple devices:

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT200289

"Press and hold the Sleep/Wake button on the top or side of your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch, then immediately press and release the Home button.

You can find the screenshot in your Photos app."


For android:

Varies for manufacturer. Find instructions here: How to take a screenshot on your Android phone | Greenbot


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## lars2016 (Apr 18, 2016)

You could do reverse psychology on her. Start getting really needy with her. Tell her you need to borrow a lot of money (to go gambling with). Tell her you need her to cook every single meal for you. Tell her you only eat lobster and steak, and she needs to pay for all of it. Tell her she needs to buy you a new car.

See how she reacts.


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## HuggyBear (Aug 4, 2012)

lars2016 said:


> You could do reverse psychology on her. Start getting really needy with her. Tell her you need to borrow a lot of money (to go gambling with). Tell her you need her to cook every single meal for you. Tell her you only eat lobster and steak, and she needs to pay for all of it. Tell her she needs to buy you a new car.
> 
> See how she reacts.


Seriously... you're new to this.


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## Fitnessfan (Nov 18, 2014)

Why not talk about how in love you are with your new girlfriend every single time she contacts you. Oh hi, nice to hear from you, I was just about to take my gorgeous girlfriend to dinner, I've got to go! Hey...thanks for the message but it's a bad time cause I'm taking my girl shopping!!! Oh hello, there you are again...love to chat my my sweet love is rubbing my feet. Oh geez...wasn't expecting to hear from you again I can't talk cause my super hot girlfriend is wearing yoga pants so I can't concentrate! Wow you are texting me again...can't chat my lovely lovely girlfriend and I are looking at engagement rings!


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

MAJOR creepy...


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Ask her not to contact you again or the police will be involved.

If she continues, document and ask the police department what you can do.

Beware. I had a friend that was dating someone for 6 months. His ex girlfriend, decides to contact his new girlfriend and "warn" her anonymously. 

So the friend contacts her and say, please don't contact either of us again. She stated that she hadn't and was very busy. 

Well...immediately via text she stated "I miss you. I love you." It was on. Every week or so, she's either shoot him an angry text or apology or something. He ignored 99% of the texts. She drove by both of their homes. She showed up at the grocery store. 

Guess what? The ex girlfriend, contacts the girlfriend again. She discusses how "strong" the friend is and how she is sort of afraid. 

The girlfriend called the boyfriend and said "call the police department and file a report of some sort. She called me again and she seems like she threatening to do something or is going crazy." He did. 

He was arrested the next night at his home for sexual assault.

Months later, she dropped the case.

He thought it was for rape. It was for a force blow J*b. She is a nurse and she knows that she'd need a rape kit for a rape.

Watch out. False accusation are horrible and they arrest, then ask questions later. 

Not to freak you out but crazy is as crazy does.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Just don't pay attention to her anymore, don't answer any calls from her or read an e-mals or texts from her. If she sees that you have absolutely no inerest in her, she'll leave you alone.


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## 2ndchanceGuy (Sep 28, 2015)

Fitnessfan said:


> Why not talk about how in love you are with your new girlfriend every single time she contacts you. Oh hi, nice to hear from you, I was just about to take my gorgeous girlfriend to dinner, I've got to go! Hey...thanks for the message but it's a bad time cause I'm taking my girl shopping!!! Oh hello, there you are again...love to chat my my sweet love is rubbing my feet. Oh geez...wasn't expecting to hear from you again I can't talk cause my super hot girlfriend is wearing yoga pants so I can't concentrate! Wow you are texting me again...can't chat my lovely lovely girlfriend and I are looking at engagement rings!


 I tried this , only made it worse


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## 2ndchanceGuy (Sep 28, 2015)

Corpuswife said:


> *Watch out. False accusation are horrible and they arrest, then ask questions later.
> *
> Not to freak you out but crazy is as crazy does.


 I have thought of this as well. She has a vengeful side to her 
( I call her a" bunny boiler " from the old movie Fatal Attraction ) ( not to her face )


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Call her BF and ask him to take better care of her so she leaves you alone.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Dude she had access to a lot of your personal info at that bank, what are you thinking?
Document and revoed this stuff. 

At some point you may need to talm to tge bank manager but I would call a lawyer first.

Dont sit on your hands here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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