# She Left, I want her back, is it possible?



## FHLove (Mar 12, 2009)

My wife of 6 years left me a little over a week ago. We've gone through a lot over the last few years and with worrying all about the different things we've gone through, I became more interested in keeping all of that stuff a float and kind of lost sight of my wife. I never stopped loving her through all of it, but had a hard time with trying to balance everything.

We started to become more disconnected a few months back and almost lived separate lives. I've finally come around and have seen the things I was doing and started to make a few changes, but she says it's too late.

Can we make this work? Please help!! I don't want to lose her.


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## SEH (Mar 2, 2009)

What went through over the course of the years? Have you two talked throughly about the situation? In order to give you some advice you would need to give us more details about what went on.


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## kate_spencer (Feb 20, 2009)

Hi FHLove,
I think if she already told you that it's too late.. it'll be hard for the two of you or rather for you to *save your marriage*. Cause you know, in a relationship for it work out, both parties should be participating, and the idea should be from both of you. Though you could convince her that you're worth the second or third chance. Just continue doing what you're doing until she regained the trust you lost. 
Good luck


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## Gooshy (Mar 13, 2009)

I have never being married but i can tell you one thing.. It is never too late if someone really loved you to begin with. That is unless you did some really horrible things that cant be forgiven.. Go and meet her in person. Beg for forgiveness. Get her closest trustworthy friend or trusted family member and convince them that you have changed ..They might be able to help you talk to her also. You know her, so think about what you can do, to make her come back home.


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## FHLove (Mar 12, 2009)

Thanks for your replies so far.

I can't go too deep into detail, but i was focused on other things, such as money, work, etc. She did leave, but hasn't said for sure that is over. She is staying with a friend currently, so that can't last forever.

She thought I always put her second, which I can see why she would think that, but in my mind I never did, she was always first, I just did a bad job at showing it.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

then PROVE it


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## kate_spencer (Feb 20, 2009)

:iagree:


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Of course it's possible.

Without knowing her specific grievances, it's hard to say if it's _probable_. But the general idea is to give her space and not to beg or chase, but to be nice whenever she contacts you.


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

if she's willing to try, then it's possible. but that's the problem, her willing to try. you have to find a way to make her want to try again and it won't be easy at all. i tried everything i could w my husband and nothing worked, so i'm cutting my losses and i'm done w/ him. i wish you luck in trying to find a way


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## FHLove (Mar 12, 2009)

wonder said:


> if she's willing to try, then it's possible. but that's the problem, her willing to try. you have to find a way to make her want to try again and it won't be easy at all. i tried everything i could w my husband and nothing worked, so i'm cutting my losses and i'm done w/ him. i wish you luck in trying to find a way




is there anything he could have done that would have made a difference?


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## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

no. he's arrogant (just started that over the past 2 yrs), stubborn (was always stubborn, but not to this extent), and never wrong (he always thought that coz he loves proving people wrong and it went to his head a few yrs ago); to him none of our problems are his fault so he doesn't have to try or change. i was never going to get him to change his mind. he has to realize on his own that not everything is my fault and i'm not the terrible wife he's built me up in his head to be. i doubt he'll come around so i've stopped trying and killing myself over him. i hope your wife's not like that


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## FHLove (Mar 12, 2009)

She said she has tried so hard for so long by herself that she doesnt know she can do it any more. i should have been trying with her, i know this, but for whatever reason i didnt. i have changed my ways and want this to work, i am working my butt off to fix things.

do we have a chance?


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

FHLove-

Yes, if you combine not calling her with being nice when she contacts you. However, you still have not said what her main grievances were...


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## FHLove (Mar 12, 2009)

Her big grievances were/are me not showing I care, being inconsiderate towards her, not really helping out that much with daily chores. 

Although none of that was my intention, I do see why she felt that way. I do believe I have changed and am trying to be more aware of the things I do to fix everything. Its hard to show her when she isn't there. I don't want to pressure her into a decision, but I don't want to lose her. 

How do I get her back?


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## kate_spencer (Feb 20, 2009)

FHLove said:


> How do I get her back?


Just continue what you're doing.. and later, she'll see that. You could also get the help of your common friends or your family, and prove them that you're worth her forgiveness and another chance for your relationship.
Maybe it's not your intention to hurt her, but all you can do now is beg for forgiveness.. yes, beg..  and don't promise anything.. just do it.


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## FHLove (Mar 12, 2009)

Ok, so she's staying through the weekend at her friends house, but wants to come back Monday night. she still doesn't know how she feels, but i guess she wants to see how the time apart has been. things are less tense now when we see each other, but still a little weird (which i assume will go away with time). i don't want to get my hopes up, but I feel I have definitely changed and can't imagine myself going back to my old ways.

Now that I have the opportunity to show her again, how do I make her see? Is it possible to fall out of love? If so, can you fall back in? She is everything to me and I can NOT lose her again!


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Marriage Fitness!! This is perfect for you two 

It's working for me when EVERYBODY told me things were impossible and I should leave the jerk.


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## FHLove (Mar 12, 2009)

and what if she won't do the Marriage Fitness? Then what?


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