# The Evils of Porn thesis



## draconis

The Evils of Porn thesis

Let me first say that I am not a person that thinks porn is evil in and of itself. But how some people use it is destructive indeed. This is the area I will be talking about. A general rule of thumb for anyone in a relationship if you can not do an activity in front of your partner then don’t do it at all.
Some of the issues with porn are listed below.

A)	Unrealistic view of the male and female body. The makers of porn often look for the best endowed people and often the actors modify themselves from there. Often with make-up from head to toe, the right lighting, and digital editing now a days anyone can look perfect.

B)	Perfection ~ not only do men and women look at these people as normal but think less of there partner for not stacking up.

C)	Love ~ Let’s face it how many porn movies stress loving relationship? Love or any concept outside of pure lust isn’t a major goal in the porn industry.

D)	Romance ~ Although porn may teach you acrobatic sex moves it doesn’t teach a real life approach such as romance.

E)	Respect ~ Most scenes inside of porn have little to do with respect for a partner and some are down right offensive the way a person can be sexual “handled”.

F)	Instant sex ~ Imagine if porn had to have a real story other then two people meet talk for 30 seconds and get it on where ever they are. Instant sex just doesn’t happen like it does in porn but people believe that it does or that it can.

G)	Positions ~ Those that are standard are boring in porn so they have to do weirder and weirder stuff to capture the wants of people for something new and different.

H)	Softer side ~ Let’s face it most love making atleast starts out slow where porn is about as hard and fast as you can get. It has to look exciting.

I)	Climax ~ Most porn needs to prove the climax with the males being shown, and the females wailing like a banshee.

J)	Porn like many other things can be addictive because it changes the chemical balance in the body.

K)	Arousal ~ Some people that use porn find it harder and harder to become aroused without going to a higher level. Thus they get stuck in a cycle where only porn can turn them on.

L)	"Fifty percent of those men say they struggle with pornography online," Jones said. (note A)

M)	Forty-seven percent of families say porn's a problem in their homes. (note A)

N)	And the tidal wave of porn is now flooding the church. Even pastors aren't immune. Some 37 percent admit struggling with cyberporn. (note A) 

O)	Communications ~ Often communications fall apart because a partner is trying to hide their addiction to porn.

P)	Cheating? Well without an open communication with partners most would not know that several people put it in the same scope as cheating. Then again some think that way about looking at others in a sexual way.

Q)	Lying ~ Many people will lie about looking at porn to avoid ridicule or rejection and then compound their lies so that one day when they are caught it is much worse then being honest in the first place.

R)	Chemical addictions ~ It’s scientifically proven that it’s endorphins that are the addictive part of watching porn.

S)	Masturbation ~ Can lower sexual stamina and or desire. Some feel this is a form of cheating

T)	Money ~ Many people spend a lot of money on this form of addiction. Many more then alcoholics spend of booze.

U)	Sexual advice ~ One issue with porn is it doesn’t cover the creams, lotions etc that need to be used for some of the things they do and often people are hurt or can’t do something because they don’t have it staged for them.

V)	Selfish ~ Many partners look at porn as a selfish way to self pleasure while leaving them out.

W)	Spyware ~ Most porn sites are litered with the worse spyware, malware, bots etc because not only will people not care but they will hide the real problems that their computers are having.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/346-porn-thesis.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/394-male-sex-thesis.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/ladies-lounge/444-female-sex-thesis.html

A Solution to the Porn Problem - U.S. - CBN News (note A)

draconis


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## loobylou22

on the other hand!

myself and my husband have a very wide selection of blue movies in our hidey hole! (away from our son!)
and before he started with his problems we would often put a bluey on just to laugh at they are so fake and corney!
we dont need a film to help us get jiggy with it!
but we like them they are so funny and yes they are a turn on but because they are so obviously fake we find them also amusing
and trust me they fun to try and re-enact!!!!!!!


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## Farfignewton

It ruined my relationship on so many levels. All of the constant lies and deceit, not to mention the sick crap that he was viewing on a regular basis(I am VERY open minded, but it was too far for even me). This issue has made me lose all respect for him and I no longer love him like I once did. I pretty much just focus on the children and college to keep myself going. I just think it's sad that porn was worth sacrificing my love for him. He'd rather have a friggin movie than a real life woman and I am not unattractive by far. I got hit on about four times alone at college yesterday. My self esteem is still pretty shot because of it and no I did not have self esteem issues whatsoever before this. In fact, I'd say that I had too much self esteem. I will get there again regardless of him. I now know that he is sick and that it is not me that is the problem. Most men would love for their wife to be like me.

I left for a while and he's really been trying to patch things up since, but it just doesn't matter anymore. Once I have been pushed to my limits, that's it. He wouldn't quit bluffing me and now he has what I told him would happen. Well, too bad for him. I'm a bit down today. I have been very happy lately though.


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## Blanca

I dont need a million reasons why looking at porn is wrong. Nor do I need it to be 'proven' by any so called 'experts'. I simply use common sense.

For starters, who are those people 'acting' out these things? They are adults (hopefully). are they married? do they have kids? what must their wolrd be like to do something like that and then send it out for millions to view. have they no respect for themselves? they are acting out intimate things with perfect strangers, in front of camera men, and whoever else is on the set. The women stand on set, naked, being told by other men how to arrange their body, and they have some perfect stranger handling them. why would i invite something so callous and demeaning into my home?

Why would i want to watch someone who could possibly have a family, obviously has no self-respect, has no understanding of the word 'intimacy', why would i invite that kind of feeling (even on screen) into my home? 

I think its very odd and nonsensical to invite such debase lusts into a home.


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## loobylou22

I think its very odd and nonsensical to invite such debase lusts into a home.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
why?
every body is entitled to an oppinion i respect that fact
and as for the people that do these kind of movies if thats there chosen carrier path then fair play to them they get paid at the end of the day the same as everybody else its there job
like mines being an accountent for a funiral home and a few other places!
my hubby hes a soliciter 
we live perfectly normal lives its not ruled by the demon porn we like to watch a cheesy 80's porno now again its not an everday thing just when we in the mood for a good giggle and then a bit of knocking boots our selfs (we dont need a porno to get us in the mood!)


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## Farfignewton

I think it's kind of odd that you mention that you do watch porn together, but you make sure to state that you don't "need" it. If you don't need it then why is it there? It seems that it is needed sometimes if you have to put it on and you keep on mentioning how cheesy you think it is. Seems like you are not the one that is really interested in it. You just trivialize it so it does not make you feel bad. Just wondering......don't take this too personal, please.

My SO and I had an awesome sex life until I found out his little dirty secret. Now, I just have no interest in sex with him. It sucks because I still get horny. I just don't want him anymore.

I understand that some couples like it, but so many couples are destroyed by it. I know quite a few couples that have split over the issue and some that are still together, but now live separate lives(sadly, that is where mine is headed).

It just amazes me that so many men chose movies and photos over the women that they supposedly love.


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## draconis

Keep in mind for a long time I was on a forum that talked about sex and relationships. Far more of those people watched and enjoyed it. I neither condone nor judge anyone that wants to watch it but in a marriage it is like a business partnership where it is important that your partner knows everything that is going on.

Ask yourself this, if you can't do it infront of or with your partner what makes it right if you do it alone?

draconis


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## Farfignewton

draconis said:


> Ask yourself this, if you can't do it infront of or with your partner what makes it right if you do it alone?
> 
> draconis


Exactly. They know that it is wrong in that particular relationship so instead of saying to themselves, "This could destroy my relationship if I pursue it so I will be selfless and sacrifice this one thing in order to maintain this magical thing called love that I have with my SO." and making a solid decision that it is not right in the relationship and they therefore should not do it.

Instead, people go with the old adage, "what they don't know won't hurt them" and they lose their spouse over it.


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## draconis

Farfignewton said:


> Exactly. They know that it is wrong in that particular relationship so instead of saying to themselves, "This could destroy my relationship if I pursue it so I will be selfless and sacrifice this one thing in order to maintain this magical thing called love that I have with my SO." and making a solid decision that it is not right in the relationship and they therefore should not do it.
> 
> Instead, people go with the old adage, "what they don't know won't hurt them" and they lose their spouse over it.


Thank you for saying it better then I could.

draconis


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## loobylou22

Farfignewton said:


> I think it's kind of odd that you mention that you do watch porn together, but you make sure to state that you don't "need" it. If you don't need it then why is it there? It seems that it is needed sometimes if you have to put it on and you keep on mentioning how cheesy you think it is. Seems like you are not the one that is really interested in it. You just trivialize it so it does not make you feel bad. Just wondering......don't take this too personal, please.
> 
> 
> dont worry i wont take it personal
> 
> no porn dosnt make it feel bad? why should it at the end of the day its a movie its not real
> porn movies are really cheesy ! there a giggle especially the really old 70's and 80's ones!
> the fact that i specified that we dont "need" it is because we dont
> we dont watch them all the time it may be once a month somthing silly like that and to be honest i do enjoy watching them
> but its not a case of my hubby or myself saying
> "come on love stick a bluey on i want sex!!"
> 
> at the end of the day yes some men and women do relay on porn films to get them going this i dont understand and i can understand and simpathise with the people whos marriges it is distroying
> but its not real its just another movie to me with a few more sex secnes in them!


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## Farfignewton

indecisive said:


> but I'm not so sure the consensus is represented fairly here.


I agree because people who are happily using porn do not seek out these kinds of threads. Those of us who have been hurt by it are the ones who seek out said threads looking for answers to our situations. So, yes, you are right.


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## Blanca

loobylou22 said:


> Farfignewton said:
> 
> 
> 
> its a movie its not real
> 
> 
> 
> I hear this a lot and i never understand. what does that mean its not _real_?? they are real people, really doing what they're doing...i dont get it.
Click to expand...


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## loobylou22

ljtseng said:


> loobylou22 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I hear this a lot and i never understand. what does that mean its not _real_?? they are real people, really doing what they're doing...i dont get it.
> 
> 
> 
> so your telling me you go to watch a movie be it dvd or cinama
> and because they are real people in it the film must be real??
> because the ACTORS are real the story line mu st be real??
> same differance
Click to expand...


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## Farfignewton

loobylou22 said:


> ljtseng said:
> 
> 
> 
> so your telling me you go to watch a movie be it dvd or cinama
> and because they are real people in it the film must be real??
> because the ACTORS are real the story line mu st be real??
> same differance
> 
> 
> 
> In a hollywood movie the actors are pretending to screw. In a porn, they truly are screwing. It's like the difference between a movie about the military and then footage of actual firefights. One is a pretend scene being filmed and one is the actual filming of real life.
Click to expand...


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## draconis

indecisive said:


> come on, porn is reality TV at it's finest!


You can't be serious :rofl:

draconis


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## loobylou22

indecisive said:


> come on, porn is reality TV at it's finest!


are you having a laugh?????????

its fake its obvious its fake!
my good god man i dread to know wot you think big brother is if you think porns reality tv


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## swedish

Draconis,

When I first read the title of this post I thought it said 'The Elvis of Porn' and thought wow, I didn't even know Elvis was into that & Draconis is taking his thesis to a whole different level !! 

I can tell you from personal experience is that one big issue is the use of porn at work. I had to deal with it twice myself and it's a very difficult discussion to have with an employee (male or female) especially when it puts their job in jeopardy. I had females disturbed when they walked up to a male viewing it and myself disturbed when a female employee had pictures of herself on her desktop....yuk, even today that visual is disturbing.


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## Amplexor

:rofl:The porno Elvises...Utah chapter! :rofl:


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## draconis

swedish said:


> Draconis,
> 
> When I first read the title of this post I thought it said 'The Elvis of Porn' and thought wow, I didn't even know Elvis was into that & Draconis is taking his thesis to a whole different level !!
> 
> I can tell you from personal experience is that one big issue is the use of porn at work. I had to deal with it twice myself and it's a very difficult discussion to have with an employee (male or female) especially when it puts their job in jeopardy. I had females disturbed when they walked up to a male viewing it and myself disturbed when a female employee had pictures of herself on her desktop....yuk, even today that visual is disturbing.


I own my own store and we have a LAN center, kind of like a cyber cafe. I have caught a few people (and I hate too).

draconis


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## Triton

Guys and Gals- I love porn ! :smthumbup: Porn has saved me from going out and acting out. My wife knows of course ,and like I explained to her it is just to get off some tension. :corkysm60:Heck, I even ask her does she want to help me - Get Off !:circle: But when it is time for me and her -It is "ON". I love her so much.We could communicate until we die , but I have to release the tension. :banghead:I could workout more , read a book, etc. -Just not the same.I have found myself -Thanking God for porn. Like the Rappers when they win an award after cursing on some new hot CD . So some people smoke, drink, etc. I LOVE PORN. You can send me the porn you don't want.:rofl: I can't wait to get home to either my wife or the porn ,or both.


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## draconis

Triton said:


> Guys and Gals- I love porn ! :smthumbup: Porn has saved me from going out and acting out. My wife knows of course ,and like I explained to her it is just to get off some tension. :corkysm60:Heck, I even ask her does she want to help me - Get Off !:circle: But when it is time for me and her -It is "ON". I love her so much.We could communicate until we die , but I have to release the tension. :banghead:I could workout more , read a book, etc. -Just not the same.I have found myself -Thanking God for porn. Like the Rappers when they win an award after cursing on some new hot CD . So some people smoke, drink, etc. I LOVE PORN. You can send me the porn you don't want.:rofl: I can't wait to get home to either my wife or the porn ,or both.



As long as your wife agrees to this, and isn't offended plus it doesn't seem to interfere with your relationship then good. The issue is when it goes to far and people ignore their partner prefering porn, or they go against the morals of their partner.

draconis


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## swedish

All those icons are making me dizzy and confused...kinda the same feeling I get if I look at porn.


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## draconis

swedish said:


> Draconis,
> 
> When I first read the title of this post I thought it said 'The Elvis of Porn' and thought wow, I didn't even know Elvis was into that & Draconis is taking his thesis to a whole different level !!
> 
> I can tell you from personal experience is that one big issue is the use of porn at work. I had to deal with it twice myself and it's a very difficult discussion to have with an employee (male or female) especially when it puts their job in jeopardy.  I had females disturbed when they walked up to a male viewing it and myself disturbed when a female employee had pictures of herself on her desktop....yuk, even today that visual is disturbing.


My mother-in-law is a huge Elvis fan, she'd love that.

draconis


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## Amplexor

I would hope if he made any, they were in his thinner days. Ick!!


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## draconis

Amplexor said:


> I would hope if he made any, they were in his thinner days. Ick!!


When he had less hair on his back.

draconis


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## swedish

drac and amp,

Thanks for that visual


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## draconis

I think what I said before can be applied to you. You have your opinion and I respect that as a choice. Porn ruined your marriage and you are turned off of it. I make no judgement other then to think your husband should respect your views.

draconis


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## Dan-O

First, I am not a social science major or a psychologist. However, I have had some thoughts on porn and it's allure.

Porn is animalistic and appeals to a very primal nature in humans. I had some thoughts that man-made laws and religion have suppressed this aspect of human nature in a sense to bring order and civility.

According to the Bible, man had a mate.

Did cromagnon man actually have a mate that he was loyal and faithful too for life? I don't know the answers

It just seems to me at times that nature runs it's course no matter the circumstances....kind of like a hurricane or tornado...opposing anything that stands in its path.

We can agree that men and women are wired differently when it comes to sexual intercourse.

From a man's perspective, Men want to sex everything that looks good and hit the door. We don't really think about the committment or the woman's burden of rearing a child alone.

Women want men to have a vested interest in them before having sex. They want men to protect them from the cruel harsh world. In return, they will bear them a child...primal speak of course ladies.

Nevertheless, society, civility and religion seem to trump the natural order of things in this case and as such, we make it a duty to accept a faux social norm otherwise, be deemed an addict or worse.

Draconis, I hope like heck you tell me there is no substance to what I say. My mind drifts from time to time. :scratchhead:


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## draconis

If you have read some of my other thesis pieces you will see that you are not far off. Men have less "white" matter seperating the two halves of the brain, that is scientific fact. That is why men tend to be more visual on average. It is also the scientific reason they can excel at one given task. Women however benefit with multitasking, verbalization, and better rounded. Sexually men ten to be more visual (one aspect) then women who need or consider many factors (like multi-tasking).

When I talk of the "addiction" to porn I am talking of the people that will take porn over a spouse, they take something away, or hold something back from a relationship.

I judge no one who watches it. But like anything in a household where a relationship is the most sacred partnership it needs to be respected. How can that respect exist if you need to hide something like porn or that porn is a destructive force in the relationship. 

Religion is the calming factor that has bonded society in the past. It has given way to the social law in many ways but still exists non the less.

draconis


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## cheewagacheewaga

Since I can't get a real woman, porn is a good filler (pun intended!).

And you shouldn't have to pay for porn when it's so abundant and free on the internet.

People need to control themselves. Just because someone thinks that knives and nail guns are dangerous doesn't mean we should ban them.


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## kiran23

May be you are rite friend.................


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