# Are you better looking than your spouse?



## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Do any of you ever wish you held out for a better catch? Maybe you were going through a dry spell, and married out of desperation. Maybe you were fat, and settled for another fat, or unattractive person to marry, now youre in better shape, but your spouse never made the effort to improve, now youre much better looking than them. Maybe you married a much older man or women, who looked good then, but age has finally caught up with them, while you still look young. They say "water always finds its own level". I know it sounds shallow but, Do you ever feel like youre stuck in a marriage to someone, who you could probably do much better than?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Um, no. I married a guy who looks like Tom Brady, literally. Face, height and build. I look like Nicole Kidman in her younger days. We are both 39 and have aged without a wrinkle. Genetics plays in to it but so does lifestyle.
Norway and Sweden makes for a great combo. 
Our sons are the most handsome boys you will ever see. Mom pride, yeah I know. 

Franklin,
If you are not happy with your spouse then you need to communicate that!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I don't think that I am better looking than my husband. 

He is four years younger than me, but with his goatee, he looks older than me. He is just handsome and attractive, IN MY EYE. 

I know that I am older than my husband, so I try to stay young. I go to a beautician once in two weeks. I wear masks at home almost everyday to make my face soft. I try to eat more fruit and vegetables so I stay slim. 

We still match very well. He is in good shape, I am in good shape!


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Um, no. I married a guy who looks like Tom Brady, literally. Face, height and build. I look like Nicole Kidman in her younger days. We are both 39 and have aged without a wrinkle. Genetics plays in to it but so does lifestyle.
> Norway and Sweden makes for a great combo.
> Our sons are the most handsome boys you will ever see. Mom pride, yeah I know.
> 
> ...


Hey thanks for the reply However, Im more interested in responses from people who the OP actually applies to, Im also not really looking for advice, nor did I state, Im better looking than my spouse, I just thought it would be an interesting topic.


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

It's funny. My husband jokes that I'm better-looking than he is, and it's actually true.
BUT...it has nothing to do with how attracted I am to him. In all the guys I dated before marrying him, some were more or less attractive than he is. But I've always been more physically attracted to him than previous boyfriends, even those who were "better-looking."
To me it means that my level of attraction to him isn't based on looks.
That said...when he's acting like a jerk and we're having problems, sometimes I think, "What am I doing here?? I'm beautiful and wonderful, I don't need this..."
But we're working on improving our relationship, so I try not to dwell on those feelings.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Franklin,

I don't understand your question then. Please explain. From what you posted it certainly sounded like you thought you could do better and questioned whether attractive marries ugly.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

franklinfx said:


> Do any of *you*ever wish *you* held out for a better catch? Maybe *you* were going through a dry spell, and married out of desperation. Maybe *you* were fat, and settled for another fat, or unattractive person to marry, now *youre* in better shape, but *your*spouse never made the effort to improve, now *youre*much better looking than them. Maybe *you* married a much older man or women, who looked good then, but age has finally caught up with them, while *you* still look young. They say "water always finds its own level". I know it sounds shallow but, Do you ever feel like *youre*stuck in a marriage to someone, who *you* could probably do much better than?


 Brennan, does this help *you* understand a little better?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Your post left it unclear. I thought you were projecting about your spouse. 
I married my equal. Looks and intelligence.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Your post left it unclear. I thought you were projecting about your spouse.
> I married my equal. Looks and intelligence.


Actually the topic is quite clear. I clearly asked, using the word "you" ,not "I" or "me", if anyone here felt they could do better than their spouse. You simply assumed I was talking about myself :scratchhead:. Im glad you and your H are both hot though, congradulation on your superior aryan "genetics" but why would you feel the need to reply to a topic that obviously doesnt apply to you?

Its all good though. Im actually curious about your 1st response, lets say for argument sake, I was talking about myself, just what is it, Im supposed tell to my wife concerning this issue? " hey honey, I think Im hotter than you and would like to start dating women who are also hotter than you":rofl: 

Seriously folks, dont read too much into the motivation behind the question , I just thought thered be alot of people out there that feel this way, and I thought it would be an interesting topic to start, if it doesnt apply to you though, why not just read along?:yawn2:


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

I NEVER assumed you were talking about yourself. That's what "projecting" is about. 
Why would I answer? You asked question. If you didn't want an answer, don't ask.
Aryan genetics? Whoa dude. That word alone is offensive beyond words.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Okay,
WTH is going on?! He just mentioned Aryan genetics and now that part is gone. Modified post? Grrrr.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

I'm not stuck, and no I couldn't do better. I think we are equal.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

When I 1st got together with my then boyfriend/now husband, I was more sought after by guys than he ever was by girls. But I always felt we were = in looks (once he took his glasses off). He was simply too quiet & backwards to get the girls & the big glasses didn't help him any. I made him wear contacts for our Wedding & still do today when we go out. 

I have had moments during a span of months -on very horny days when he could not keep up with me, that I felt I could have done better, but it was all about SEX. I never felt I could have done better in any other area at all through 21 yrs of marraige. Now we are more in tune with each other -since thankfully, that drive of mine has settled down some.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

It's all genetics unless you are living off fast food, smoke like a chimney, and truly are living crazy. 

I know a ex model who was the studliness of studs in my early college days. He is now completely bald and 30lbs overwieght at 34. For many guys it's all in the hair.......for many women it's all how much your body changes after childbirth. I know women who gain 80-90lbs during pregnancy and their bodies were never the same afterwards. Others gained 40lbs and were back to their normal size in 3 months.

All you can do really is eat healthy, workout, control you weight, everthing else hair, skin, wrinkles is just how you were made. Some people age better than others.

My wife is hands down hotter than me imo. We all get old, wrinkled, and kick the bucket in the end. Looks are very temporary.......good luck on your marriage.

To answer your question........NOPE.....wouldn't trade her for anyone.


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

My wife is really attractive, especially her hair, but in the deepest parts of my heart, I'll have to admit that I compared her unfavorably to some of the ones I dated before. I hate that about myself.

In high school and college, and now even at work, people call me "Robert Redford with muscles". 

My wife obsesses about her age, because at 45, she's gray without coloring and has wrinkles. If I take after my parents, gray or wrinkles will not be an issue for a long time. My mother looks younger than my wife. Recently, my wife and I were with our daughters, and someone told my wife that she had a handsome son and beautiful daughters.

Still, I think of my wife as incredibly beautiful, and maybe that's part of the reason I'm able to overlook her very serious depression, anxiety and inability to ever say anything nice about me.

In high school, after some brief physical liasons with a teacher and a couple of older women in my area (married), I am actually attracted to older women.

I converted to my wife's faith and dropped my friendships with the ones I hung out with before we married, and I'm a corporate guy now.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Takris,
Is it possible that she picked up on your comparing and maybe that is the cause of her depression? I think women can kind of sense these things. That would be pretty painful to overcome.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

This is an interesting topic. I think my husband and I are equally physically attractive, but I think my attitude and personality are more attractive than his. 

Ex: He is very high strung a lot of the time, control freak, arrogrant a lot of the time. I am very relaxed, roll with the tide, always love to hear peoples different opinions on things.

Anyone else have this at all??


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Dawn,
Yes. While hubbie and I are equal in looks and intelligence, our personalities are as different as possible. He is an introvert and quite shy. I am not by any stretch. He once told me that I can "light up a room" just by walking in to it. He cannot as he doesn't like new people/situations. We do compliment each other in that way though. He can walk in to a room and spend an hour observing the situation all the while I am chatting it up with new people. He pulls me aside to tell me his assessment and I pull him next to the new people I met and introduce him. It works. Weird, but it works.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Brennan said:


> Dawn,
> Yes. While hubbie and I are equal in looks and intelligence, our personalities are as different as possible. He is an introvert and quite shy. I am not by any stretch. He once told me that I can "light up a room" just by walking in to it. He cannot as he doesn't like new people/situations. We do compliment each other in that way though. He can walk in to a room and spend an hour observing the situation all the while I am chatting it up with new people. He pulls me aside to tell me his assessment and I pull him next to the new people I met and introduce him. It works. Weird, but it works.


 I could have written this same thing. My husband always jokes "I hate People" , I know he does not really mean this but he seems to have little need for socialing outside of close friends/family, just a quiet behind the scenes kind of guy.

I don't know if I lighten a room when I walk in, but I never have trouble jumping in & often get people to open up about things they may not normally, I guess I ask alot of provocative questions - Which makes for some "letting your hair down" parties. Alot of fun, alot of laughter. Husband just watches and smiles.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

SA,
I often refer to my husband as the "Wise Old Owl". A character from a childrens book that sits perched on a branch watching the situation closely. He observes, looks, listens and learns. He then opens his beak/mouth and says something profound. That is my husband. Meanwhile, I am talking to a potted plant. LOL.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

My husband calls me his "Trophy Wife". I do look younger than him by about 10 years. Some of it has to do with the way I have my hair styled and dress and the way I act. But I feel he is damn good looking and sexy and in the same league as me when it comes to appearance. 

That said, I just wish he'd dress a bit sharper and I worry that he is starting to act..uh..well, like an old man. This is part of our problem. I still feel like I'm in my 20s-30s and he's starting to act like 50-60. It's a problem. 

What's ironic is that at one time I was the one who was getting fat and slovenly and not giving any thought to my appearance and he was the one who encouraged me to lose weight and take an interest in my appearance because he was how it was affecting my self esteem and our sex life. I took his advice, lost 50 lbs, exercise 5 days a week, got a new wardrobe, started wearing make up, doing my hair and it transformed me. I feel great but now the tables have turned it seems. 

I do believe that how you live and act plays a big part in how you age. You start to act old and the result is you look older. I see it a lot in the people I used to call my friends back in my 20s. Now they are 45-50 and they look look 50-up, especially the women. Shame how that happens. 

There's a line from a Tom Petty song that says ..

"Well, I don't know but I've been told, you never slow down, you never grow old". 

It's a line I've always agreed with so I've made it my business to not slow down.  But I think my husband could definitely use a jumpstart to get his battery recharged again.


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

Brennan said:


> Takris,
> Is it possible that she picked up on your comparing and maybe that is the cause of her depression? I think women can kind of sense these things. That would be pretty painful to overcome.


Not possible. She has borderline personality disorder. But everything adds to the depression, but most of them are things that her mind tells her.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I suppose most of the world would describe my wife as reasonably attractive but to me, she's just flat-out gorgeous and far better looking than I am. I don't make girls swoon but I also don't frighten little kids with my looks. Guess I'm sort of average looking. I often wish she'd behave differently, but never for a skinny second have I wished she looked differently. Doesn't matter what she's wearing or what she's doing. Every time I've ever laid eyes on her, the first thought that always pops into my head is "Damn, she's beautiful!". In the looks department, I got the best end of the deal.


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## LVS (Apr 5, 2010)

My H was 8 years older than me when first we got married no one could pay attention to this difference but we have different type of personality he is introvert and i am more sociable. I have heard more than once that when i walk in a room it is like ten women walked in at the same time
My H doesn't like to talk to new people. From a side he was pushing me to take care of myself and look always pretty and attractive but from the other side he wasn't doing the same to himself even when i asked him and tried to push him to take care of himself he wasn't and the jealousy was killing our life
After few years of marriage he started to look older and no one would believe it is only 8 years difference and many times people thought he is my father. We got to a point when we meet new people he starts first to introduce me as his daughter then turns it to say that i am his wife but i look like his daughter to show people that he is proud of me and this is not affecting him but it was affecting him deeply and it was one of the reasons he neglected more to take care of himself thinking that no matter what he does he won't look equal to me and no matter what i did to improve his self esteem i wasn't able to help him.

After 28 years of marriage in my 46 i look younger at least 10 years and he is 55 but looks 20 years older and also he acts as 20 years older or more

As for me i never look to the beauty the same way that he does In fact a good shape and well looking man may attract me for the first sight but for me the outside beauty is not more than skin deep i feel more attracted to the eyes of a man which are the mirror of the inside beauty and that's what i mostly care for but also i do care for a man who takes care of himself. By neglecting himself he was looking much older and also acting as an older man.
What he did hurt me and made me feel embarrassed in front of my friends and feel bad about myself when i do take care of myself and look great and he does not.
This had a bad reflect on our life and his feelings about that turned him to be more ugly with me, more reason to blame me of what is happening to him and turned him to be more jealous from any man.....

Now we are going through divorce not only for that but also for so many other reasons...


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## *everafter* (Nov 7, 2010)

I think my stbxh is better looking than me *now*.
When we met a decade ago we were equally good looking. A very hot couple. But 10 years and two kids later took a toll on my "beauty".
So now he is the better looking part of us. Which is probably one reason why he wants a divorce .
We'll see if I can fix it.


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## byorn (May 25, 2012)

there should not be a comparison when it comes to looks between husbands, as the beauty lies in the eyes of a beholder!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

This thread is from 2010


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> This thread is from 2010


:lol:


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## yinyangfan (Nov 9, 2011)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> SA,
> I often refer to my husband as the "Wise Old Owl". A character from a childrens book that sits perched on a branch watching the situation closely. He observes, looks, listens and learns. He then opens his beak/mouth and says something profound. That is my husband. Meanwhile, I am talking to a potted plant. LOL.


Clearly we are married to the same man I am LMAO at the "Talking to a potted plant" comment. Thank you for that. I feel the same way often!


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I think my hubby is the better looking of us two.. and he for some reason thinks it's the other way around.


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