# My Husband has been lying about his ring



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Ive been asking my husband forever where his wedding ring is. It went missing when he moved out Kate August last year. He moved back in January, but I've been unable to find it. He keeps telling me it's somewhere in the house and I just have to look harder. I feel he's just throwing me lines to avoid really telling me what he did with it. WE are moving out if the house now, so I figured he should tell me now. Last night I still didn't get anything much out of him. I did get that weird smirk on his face when he's lying. I wish he would just tell me what he did with it. When he told me of his infedility, I asked if he would wear his ring and he said he would. Most everything out of his mouth that confession was a lie. I've been able to uncover most of it, but his ring.

The ring is a symbol to me. It's in the pictures, it's what he made his vows around. 

I wish he would just tell the truth and go look at new wedding rings. Why do I wear one or even have one and he does not?
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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

When did it become your responsibility to find it? Seems like he is putting that on you and he doesn't seem concerned about it being lost. That would be a red flag to me. It's like he KNOWS what happened to it, so HE hasn't bothered to look for it.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I'm pretty sure he knows what happened to it and he's not going to tell me. I wish he would just tell me the truth what he did with it. It must have had some meaning to him before I asked him to move out in late August or he would not have done what ever he did to it in anger. He has never really worn his ring for years. He wore it when we got married and I don't even remember when he took it off. He says he can't wear rings because they bother him. I think he did wear it a while, but then said it gave him a Calais because he works construction and that it is a danger for him to wear it. 

It is true in his line of work that it's a danger to wear a ring, but it seems he never offers a compromise like wearing it when he's not at work. He says he doesn't want to constantly take it on and off.
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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i would be worried about the whole reconciliation thing.
he has been dishonest with you the whole time since, the ring is only a small piece of that dishonesty.
maybe he has other motives for this 'reconciliation'.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I think the only motive he has is take back all control. I have control over almost nothing. Most of the lies I've been able to uncover. He came out with the affair with all half truths. Now I'm sure I'm not going tO get the real truth about his ring anytime soon. I'm sure he's triggering bad right now because we are moving out of our house that he decided to stop making payments on when we were seperated. I paid the payment before he locked me out of all the money. He had stopped direct deposit from going into the joint checking and took over all paying the bills. 

Last night I said that if u had not asked him to leave our house in late August that we wouldn't be losing our house now. He agreed, but said its not my fault that we are losing the house. 

So I doubt I'm going to find out the truth about the ring for a ver long time.
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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

this just doesnt look like a good thing to me.
if he were serious about recon you would not have to be digging for ANYTHING to uncover his lies.
he is not in this for the right reasons.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

He has confessed that if the OW didn't post on FB that he would have never told me. He did confess after all the drama started by OW that he had betrayed me. That lasted a whole day. Now he says it wasn't an affair because we were getting a divorce. 

It was me who kicked him out the house in late August because I was having a long distance EA. he's not the same mdn ever since. I had suspected he had a few EAs or other things in the past, but have no proof of it. 

He says he loves me more than anything in the world snd he does show me effection. He did try to get a house to live as a family, but no one would rent to us. So now he's going to go work in AZ without me. 

I have a feeling maybe I might get the truth about the ring after we have moved out of the house. He's maintained it's in the house. Last night I said its in the drains, that he put it down the kitchen drain. He got a weird guilty grin and then said it couldn't go down that drain because if the garabafe disposal and that the ring is titanium. 

So I bet it is in a drain, but maybe more like the toilet
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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

It's been his idea to renew our vows on our 10 year anniversary next year. He's been wanting to get me a larger wedding for years. So he has looked at wedding rings with me and even looked at men's wedding rings before I was prying so much about where did his ring go. I've told him that we can't renew our vows with no ring for me to put on his finger
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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

arent you the one with the major financial problems?

maybe he pawned/sold it?


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

blueskies30 said:


> It's been his idea to renew our vows on our 10 year anniversary next year. He's been wanting to get me a larger wedding for years. So he has looked at wedding rings with me and even looked at men's wedding rings before I was prying so much about where did his ring go. I've told him that we can't renew our vows with no ring for me to put on his finger
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The whole thing is just a tool to battle with you over. That isn't what a wedding ring is for. He smirks at you and tells you to look harder? That's really mean. If I were you I'd stop looking for it and tell him he needs to find it on his own. If it really bothers you that he won't do that, and you have told him this? Then he isn't in R with you. He is just playing games.

And he cut you off financially and now you are losing your house? Was that punishment for an EA you were having while he was having an affair? Wow. 

You guys sound more like enemies than a couple trying to reconnect. I wish you well, but let the issue of the ring go and tackle the lack of respect in your marriage first. Without it, the new ring won't mean much to you.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Wow... I can't remember your whole story, I'm sorry. But, regarding the ring, I'd be saying "look, YOU lost/misplaced/whatever the damn thing, YOU get it NOW and put it back on your finger!" It is not YOUR responsibility to be looking for his ring. He is the one who should be looking. And you want it on his hand now, not in a week, not in a couple days. You want to see it NOW. 

I sold my original band. I told my husband. When we had money to do so, we replaced it. The thing is, he had lost his at work. He used to be a mechanic and someone actually went into his locker at work and took his ring off his keychain. So, he was without one for years. And, since he didn't wear his, I no longer wore mine. But after mine was sold and we replaced it, we got a new ring for him as well. And the only time they come off is when we are showering or we go to bed. Make your husband find the ring, now. Don't let him get away with yet another lie.


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## sunshinetoday (Mar 7, 2012)

If the ring truly doesn't turn up....(you may never know the truth) I would say, IT'S TIME FOR A NEW (comfortable & wearable) RING!!


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Your husband is still an ass, and he's still playing games with you. As you've identified, the only time you get even a half truth is when you catch him in a lie.

I really feel sorry for your future. He's showing you clearly what you can expect in the future. He has no respect for you or your needs, and he's demonstrated that he can continue to do whatever he likes because you won't call him on any of it.

Make sure you bookmark this site, because I suspect you'll be using it for a long time.

C
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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I FOUND his ring while I was packing up the remaining things in our kitchen!! We are in the process of moving out of our home of 8 years, due to foreclosure 

All along he has told me the ring was in the house, but never told me where it was. A few days before I found it I had said it was in the kitchen and he got a silly grin on his face while he was saying maybe. 

I have no clue what his point of not telling me and making me find it. I'm glad I have it though because it means most of the things that were going through me head that he could have done with it were not true. He never threw it away in a rage, he never flushed it down the toilet, threw it out in the yard, sold it, gave it away and OW never ever saw it. 

My Husbsnd will not wear a ring, but his ring is important to me.
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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

but the other issues of him still being dishonest will still be with you.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

An awful lot of drama over a ring, when there are clearly more serious troubles on the horizon for you both. Good luck with your R.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

The ring is an important to me. I never made a huge deal out of the ring to my husband, never any fights over it. I'm glad I found it though. I never accused my Husband of what he did with it. I did choose to ask about where his ring was Everytime he would bring up something that he dishes he still had Pre seperation
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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> but the other issues of him still being dishonest will still be with you.


True there still are other issues, but hopefully we will be able to work through them. We have moved out of our house snd are living at his parents for a few months. My Husband just approached me yesterday that he wants to see if he can work in state because he doesn't want to leave me. I think he's trying to be completely honest with me. He has a habit of keeping his thoughts inside.
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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

hopefully he gets his sh!t together and things will work out for you.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

Blues : please read all your posts as a third person looking in and then think of what advice you would give.

I think your in for a false R and there is going to a fall where you are broken , hurt and in denial.

Your husband is playing stupid games with you, how old is he 4, , he presses the puppets button and you respond being needy and ever so desperate to save your marriage.

A marriage relationship is one where there is mutual respect , love , being there for one another in short your a team and a couple. I do not see that in your relationship with your husband . 

I suggest you call it quits , no MC , no heavy marriage discussions . Go your own way and one day when your husband grows up and learns what a marriage requires you may be around.
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