# How does she get you going?



## Angeline (Aug 25, 2016)

Hi guys: )

For men in LTR, what does your wife/gf do that can spark your desire for her. 
We all know how things can get somewhat bland in the mix of the busy monotony. Especially after being with the same person for so long.
So, I am wondering if you catch your wife saying something, doing something, acting any particular way that might be a catalyst for feeling arousal toward her...what would those things be? 

Thank you!


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I am not being flippant here, so bear with me. I have been married close to 21 years, together for 23. If my wife is in the room with me, I lust after her. And, honestly, I lust after her even when we are apart. I am on T and it's almost like being a teenager again. I can get horny just being around her. I realize you are looking for something specific, but honestly there isn't anything specific. All she has to do is be herself and it gets me going. 

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## 00buck (Jun 2, 2016)

Watching my wife try on dresses for an upcoming cruise did it for me. 




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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Married 30 years, have never lost interest in my wife.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Married 15 years.

If my wife is simply PRO-ACTIVE that gets me going.

--saying she wants me to [email protected] her later
--grabbing me by the crotch and leading me to the beadroom
--simply being naked on the bed with a come hither look rather than bundled in thick pajamas under the covers


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Im pretty much good to go 24/7...but, when she puts her hair in the knot designs and braids....then im not responsible for my actions...


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Together 17 years, now. She'll sneak up behind me in the bedroom, throw me onto the bed, and start undressing me. Often, when we're watching TV, she'll slip her hand into my pants and start playing with me.


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## BillH (Jan 26, 2017)

One of the things mine does is to say that she would like a back rub. Which means she will end up nude with and that the rub will end up as an all over everywhere exploration.


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## Davidmidwest (Nov 22, 2016)

Wow. If my STBX did all those ques, man I wouldn't be in this situation. Your women must really admire, support, and love you a lot! They got the keep the husband caught with her wile and charisma sexyness. How do the ladies have the energy with kids and work, and putting up with us to do that.
I am amazed. I wonder if they read the book by Dr. Laura, "the proper care and feeding of husbands." Where can I sign my wife up for lessons. 

A question for the women. Do you roll your eyes that these men''s women are proactive too? Rather than being groped? I hope not.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

My wife generally eschews all forms of sexuality - however, if she's dressed up and is wearing her black tights with her black bra, I find that hot. Sadly, it doesn't get any further as she invariably has a headache.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

25 year marriage.

Looking at the natural bulge in my pants while acting like she's not actually looking.
That's so cute!


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I'm not married but when my gf wears yoga pants she could give a dead man a hard on,if she combines it with a bra sports top jeeeez.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

All she has to do is show a little interest in me. That would shock the hell out of me. That's not likely to happen, she's really not interested in sex of any kind and has been that way for a long time.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

It is little things. The coy little smile, letting me know she is thinking dirty thoughts. Touching me in any fashion, she knows this gets me going.... Clearing the kiddos out of the house se we can be 'alone'.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

There is no one specific thing. Could be her coming out of the shower, wearing a blouse that shows off her cleavage, or looking at her legs in shorts. Like someone else said, it does not take much since I lust after my wife all the time. Sometimes she has to tell me that I am drowning her in love. Her girlfriends all know that I still chase her while their own marriages have grown stale and sexless because of age. We are married for over 44 years and I still lust after my wife. She also likes to tease me by running her hand up my groin area and laughing.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

Not at all, no eye rolling here! Some of these people have been together just as long as I've been alive. Crazy! I too am amazed that even after decades, these ladies can keep their men satisfied and lusting. 

Taking notes...


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Davidmidwest said:


> Wow. If my STBX did all those ques, man I wouldn't be in this situation. Your women must really admire, support, and love you a lot! They got the keep the husband caught with her wile and charisma sexyness. How do the ladies have the energy with kids and work, and putting up with us to do that.
> I am amazed. I wonder if they read the book by Dr. Laura, "the proper care and feeding of husbands." Where can I sign my wife up for lessons.


I ask myself the same questions. I have completely forgotten what it is like to be surprised by some lingerie


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## Angeline (Aug 25, 2016)

I am loving your responses..wow, thank you so much! It's reassuring to know that after a long while together, your women still have an arousing influence on you guys. 
My husband and I have been together for 23 years, married for 20. I sometimes wonder if there is anything left about me that he is turned on by- he knows me so well. 
Randomly he'll go savage on me and it makes me wonder if I did something to bring it on, or was it just that he physically needed a release. 
Either way, it feels good to know that we, as long-term wives/gfs) can still be of benefit to our men in the most unexpected ways. ; )


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*With my first XW, it was simply her tying up her hair into a ponytail, thus exposing her neck ~ which got me going ~ which got her going!

Enough said!*


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

Angeline said:


> . I sometimes wonder if there is anything left about me that he is turned on by- he knows me so well.
> Randomly he'll go savage on me and it makes me wonder if I did something to bring it on, or was it just that he physically needed a release.


The 1st line I quoted: I am in a LT M with my wife, because most everything about her turns me on. Most men (I think/hope) feel the same about their wives. New/mysterious can be good, but knowing is better imo.

The 2nd line is probably both from time to time, but I would hazard to guess you did something that got him going, could be as simple as he smelled you or thought you looked especially hot in some outfit.. He probably can't even recall what it was that made him 'take' you. Probably almost subconsciously...


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

Nothing does it better for me than when she says.

"want to have some quick fun before I go to the store, hurry up I have ten minutes. Oh, by the way my stomach is bothering me so good luck to you!", as she assumes the dead starfish position.


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

Angeline said:


> For men in LTR, what does your wife/gf do that can spark your desire for her.
> We all know how things can get somewhat bland in the mix of the busy monotony. Especially after being with the same person for so long.


Married nearly 19 years, been together 22. Lessee... she could:

- look at me
- wryly smile at me
- walk past in high-heeled boots
- come to bed

...and I'm pretty much there :grin2:. Now if she wanted to show she's really interested, she could:

- tell me she's thinking about some sexy act
- put a body stocking on (HOT!!)
- hold a particular toy in her hand as I walk in
- sext me

>


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## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

together 23 years, married 15 this year. She sends me naughty texts, give sly looks, or just flat out attacks me when I walk in the room.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Angeline,
Let me try to help you with this. While it is true that the ideal scenario is to spark desire first - that isn't the only ideal.

There is also an alternative. An alternative based more on love, than lust. The way that works is - for you two to have a discussion of responsive desire. 

Half of all our encounters over the last 28 years - start out with one of us not feeling desire at the start. Luckily BOTH of us are good at getting the other turned on from neutral. 

Both of us believe it is wrong to reject your partner when they want to connect and both of us have learned that if you relax and let nature take its course, arousal comes along very easily. It helps that neither of us is impatient with the other. That is a big deal - patience. Five to fifteen minutes does the trick 95+ percent of the time. 

One last piece to the puzzle. Neither of us does stuff that turns the other OFF. So while it's true - sometimes one or the other of us lacks desire. Neither of us feels aversion or turned OFF by the other. 

The absence of spontaneous desire is harmless. The presence of aversion is a whole different deal. Just saying - if there is an aversion issue - it needs to be dealt with in an honest, but kind manner. 




Angeline said:


> Hi guys: )
> 
> For men in LTR, what does your wife/gf do that can spark your desire for her.
> We all know how things can get somewhat bland in the mix of the busy monotony. Especially after being with the same person for so long.
> ...


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## eroark (Feb 11, 2017)

Everything my wife does turns me onto her. She just has to brush her hand across me lightly while looking at me with her eyes and it gets me every time. Just being around her, I think about her and we have been together for about 10 years now


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Angeline said:


> So, I am wondering if you catch your wife saying something, doing something, acting any particular way that might be a catalyst for feeling arousal toward her...what would those things be?


Well @Angeline 

According to my wife, she accuses me of getting myself all aroused arbitrarily and all she has to do is just show up and enjoy me begging. 

Some days I think she is right, because I do have an overactive imagination that tends to be a little mischievous with my thoughts of her! BUTT (oops I misspelled that), I mean BUT, she can be pretty devious at giving me something to think about.










HOT DANG! I've never done it in the sink before with warm water and soap. As for the mirror, I'll claim I keep forgetting to turn off my Sonicare toothbrush when I take it out of my mouth! 

Badsanta


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## mergingcultures (Feb 23, 2017)

It doesn't take much. Pretty much every woman I see I want. Well not all obviously! But you get my point.

The issue is that it's rare I get to follow through on desire.


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

My wife does nothing deliberately to arouse me and expects me to initiate. However, very recently, she's taken to confessing to have done something ever so slightly naughty like finishing off the choccy biscuits by herself so I jokingily tell her to drop her knickers and present her bum for a sound spanking. That gets us going.


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## leon2100 (May 13, 2015)

Her voice. Her smile. Dang, if I don't think of her when I'm not with her... married 52 yrs. HOWEVER, if you want to know what really turns me on is when she wears a loose fitting skirt. In these days of pant suits, that doesn't happen very often, but if she puts one for a night out... I want to take her back to the bedroom before we have our night out.

Why the skirt, more precise... a pleaded one...?? well that's what she was wearing the first time we met. She was 16 and I was 18 and we talked for less than 5 minutes. Didn't see her again for two years when we met up in college. Also, those pleaded skirts allow a horny college kid easy access to the fun part when making out in the car back in the sorority parking lot in the 1960s!! Still fantasize about those hot dates!!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

mem2020 said:


> one last piece to the puzzle. Neither of us does stuff that turns the other off. So while it's true - sometimes one or the other of us lacks desire. Neither of us feels aversion or turned off by the other.
> 
> The absence of spontaneous desire is harmless. The presence of aversion is a whole different deal. Just saying - if there is an aversion issue - it needs to be dealt with in an honest, but kind manner.


gold!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

My husband once said to me I didn't need to 'try', just being myself did it for him. I love flirting with him and teasing, but I listened when he told me this. 

The other day, we were eating ice-cream. He was sharing about work stuff. Then stopped half way through his sentence and said I was driving him crazy. I was puzzled. Apparently the way I was eating ice-cream distracted him to arousal. Being into one another, we notice the sexiness and allure of even simple moments or mannerisms. And hopefully, then express that. 

It's a brilliant point that MEM raised.


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