# Should I take divorce



## infodsagar (Nov 14, 2020)

We are in a relationship for the last 4 years. Two years in live-in two years of marriage. My wife gets angry easily and for small issues. I used to know this problem since the beginning of the relationship but I ignored it. I was expecting that with time she will develop tolerance. At that time I thought let me concentrate on her positive side rather than picking week points.
In the last 4 years, nothing changed and we fight every single week for trivial issues. For example, I was talking to someone and gave him some details which according to her I shouldn't be giving. When she gets angry she doesn't eat or drink for the whole day. When we fight we tell each other that I don't want to continue in this relationship. However, we forget these things for a few days, and again we are on the same spot. We have a good sex life. 
Nowadays I feel like my tolerance level is reached. I keep dreaming of other girls. Sometime I feel like I should never marry again.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I will never understand why people think that a person will dramatically change once they are married. I would suggest some marriage counselling so that you can both learn to comunicate better. Sounds as if she needs to attend some anger management classes as well.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

infodsagar said:


> We are in a relationship for the last 4 years. Two years in live-in two years of marriage. My wife gets angry easily and for small issues. I used to know this problem since the beginning of the relationship but I ignored it. I was expecting that with time she will develop tolerance. At that time I thought let me concentrate on her positive side rather than picking week points.
> In the last 4 years, nothing changed and we fight every single week for trivial issues. For example, I was talking to someone and gave him some details which according to her I shouldn't be giving. When she gets angry she doesn't eat or drink for the whole day. When we fight we tell each other that I don't want to continue in this relationship. However, we forget these things for a few days, and again we are on the same spot. We have a good sex life.
> Nowadays I feel like my tolerance level is reached. I keep dreaming of other girls. Sometimes I feel like I should never marry again.


Does your wife know how much of a problem her anger is causing? It's time to have a serious, but calm, conversation with her to talk about the anger. The only way for this to get better is for her to admit there is a problem and seek out help for that problem. She needs to learn how to deal with her anger (and possibly mental health), and you need to learn how to communicate properly, fight fairly, and set boundaries when needed. 

If you have actually tried to get her help and she refuses then you have two choices: Accept that it will never change, or divorce her. 



> Sometimes I feel like I should never marry again.


Well, that's up to you but you should probably start with a divorce first. Then work on your picker. You cannot expect anyone to change after marriage.


----------



## saradanyal94 (Aug 17, 2020)

I'd suggest counseling for both of you so that they may resolve issues. If it can't be resolved after counseling, then it may be time for the next step. However, anger and temper issues don't miraculously appear and then disappear in an instant. It takes a while to work through the problems.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

She actually may be unaware of the real and serious effects her actions are causing and may believe it's just you two's way of communicating, nothing serious, you get over things as quickly as she does.

Tell her clearly, tactfully, nicely, and just once....the truth that each altercation is serious to you and you're thinking about leaving.

Afterwards if no changes you know you tried and should go ahead and D.


----------



## Ella-Bee (Apr 18, 2020)

I can't understand why people marry partners thinking they will change just because they are married. I would suggest couple therapy to work on communication. Then at least you can say you tried. But it's rare that people have a drastic change in personality.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ella-Bee said:


> I can't understand why people marry partners thinking they will change just because they are married. I would suggest couple therapy to work on communication. Then at least you can say you tried. But it's rare that people have a drastic change in personality.


I agree, we see that all the time here.


----------

