# How do we get through the not sleeping?



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

How do you all cope with the not sleeping? It is effecting me so much. I was ok, until my husband had to go out of state to work and coupled witht he fact that I am living at his parents house. 

I miss my home so much, even if there are some bad memories there. I just miss it so much.

I'm having an extremly bad night tongiht and I feel like taking a shower and getting ready for my day instead of ever going to sleep.

I just want to feel good and ok again. I'm tired of going through all these ups and downs. Since my husband has been gone to work out of state it feels like there has been way way more downs between us


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Rx. I had a rough spring, found my boyfriend in a coma on death's doorstep in early March, that coupled with allergies and his family's relational style sent me into a tailspin. Rx helped immensely for sleep, and calm(er) days. Sleep deprivation will make everything much worse.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Rx. I had a rough spring, found my boyfriend in a coma on death's doorstep in early March, that coupled with allergies and his family's relational style sent me into a tailspin. Rx helped immensely for sleep, and calm(er) days. Sleep deprivation will make everything much worse.


I had ahorrible day most of the day resterday and a horrible night, so I decided to not even go to bed at all.

Maybe it is time for me to get on some type of medication so I can get on a schedule. I know I could get back on my schedule right away if my hubby was living here. hes working out of state and this is the hardest thing for me. I don't mean to sound so dependant, but we were very touchy, cuddly feely before he had to leave


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Blue,

Consult your doctor.

For the the long run, however, you should have good physical exercises and/or yoga. Spend time with good hobbies etc.

Dont let the sleeplessness take hold. I suffered.
I dont want anyone to suffer like that.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

AngryandUsed said:


> Blue,
> 
> Consult your doctor.
> 
> ...


I would do lots of running on a treadmill, but I need to gain weight badly. I got pretty sick right before my husband left for work. I'm now slowly getting bad teeth pulled.

For now my hobby is taking th ekids to the pool and I work on my tan while there, while the summer lasts. Id have it summer all year long if I could.....


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

I agree, sometimes physically tiring yourself out is helpful.

Going to bed only because your legs are telling you to LAY DOWN NOW.. it's a good feeling. And there is some kind of happiness hormone you get from exercise. I swear. And it can give you a sense of accomplishment, meeting a goal to do so many miles, etc.

Take care of you, hope things are better soon.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

blueskies30 said:


> I would do lots of running on a treadmill, but I need to gain weight badly. I got pretty sick right before my husband left for work. I'm now slowly getting bad teeth pulled.
> 
> For now my hobby is taking th ekids to the pool and I work on my tan while there, while the summer lasts. Id have it summer all year long if I could.....


For some time to come, for immediate future, take the help of your doctor.

How about your appetite? I lost my sleep as well as appetite. I moved like a skeleton for about 2 months. No hunger. Please dont allow yourself to be caught by this.

Eat well. For this, you must work out, spend time on good hobbies.

Have people here told you about implementing 180?


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

AngryandUsed said:


> For some time to come, for immediate future, take the help of your doctor.
> 
> How about your appetite? I lost my sleep as well as appetite. I moved like a skeleton for about 2 months. No hunger. Please dont allow yourself to be caught by this.
> 
> ...


I have an appetite, I just can't eat much normal food yet. 

I've heard about doing the 180....I find it very very hard to do for very long.

I don't think he will ever have remorse unless we switch counselors or this counselor gets more educated and relizes, yes this is the past, but he has to show remorse so that I know he won't ever do it again. For him as long as hes willing to go to counseling than that shows his willing to work on the marriage. 

Don't know how to get him to see how to win back some of my trust. I don't think I can ever trust him again without that feeling that I need to check on things constantly


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

For nutrition if you're getting bad teeth pulled go for Boost or Ensure. But make sure you rinse your mouth out after at least with water. 
It is tough to deal with stress of relationship because you can't really turn to the person you want to turn to for support. Instead you have to step in to be there for yourself...this means maybe going to yoga as suggested, or a therapeutic deep-tissue massage to get your spinal fluid flow back in synch as well as circulation boosted (helps with healing), getting on a sleep schedule, seeing a therapist on a regular basis...making sure you get a little bit out of what you want out of life, every day. I was co-dependent with my husband and this wasn't good for me. Some degree of dependency is good, but not when you can't trust the other person...in that case it's not good to be dependent, but if you are offering forgiveness and a chance to move forward together, that's just it, an offer, you can work hard to make sure you will be okay whether the offer is accepted or not, and even if it is accepted, you are already on a journey of personal growth that you would do well to continue on. I found that it was rewarding to develop a better relationship with myself, to be more caring and insightful of my own needs. It's far from narcissism, but definitely a different way of treating oneself...and once you do that, you can know better how to be better at giving in a relationship, as well as accepting.


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## hldnhope (Apr 10, 2012)

Have you tried taking Melatonin before bed? They have some in time release formula too. Melatonin is what the body makes naturally on it's own to help you fall asleep.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Go see a doctor and have him check you out. It is important to eat right and get some exercise. My problem was not getting to sleep but staying a sleep. The mind would not shut off.

The doctor can give you something but the him or her everything. They know what to keep an eye on.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I slept like a baby after I kicked him out.

One of the best things you could do for yourself is to tell your husband you are DONE with him. He isn't remorseful anyway, and you know it. That's probably one huge reason you can't sleep.


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## sadsoul101 (Oct 18, 2011)

6 mg of Melatonin every nite


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Back in the day I used AdvilePM


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## maryfmly7 (May 10, 2016)

I used all these meds but if there is somthing bothering you its too hard. Im taking Sleeping aid pills Im getting better sleep but not every day


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

It is absolutely necessary for your H to go away for work? How long will he have to do this? It might be worth talking to him about how much it affects you, or maybe you can schedule regular calls with him on Skype to get you feeling a little better. I have taken melatonin in the past and that puts me right to sleep.


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## nursejackie (May 22, 2015)

It is a terrible place to be when your anxiety is so high you can't sleep. The longer that goes on the more your mind plays games with you. Everyones advice is spot on. Someone I work with gave me a little pot to try and see if it would help. I am in my 50's and never smoked pot before (maybe a couple of times in high school). It took me from a pacing crazy lady to chill in 30 seconds. Just a couple of tokes. Obviously not the answer for everyone but it worked for me. It is prescribed for anxiety...

I hope you are feeling better soon.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Zombie thread...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

There are some herbal sleep aids that are available. 

Plus videos on Youtube that relax you. Right up until some idiot breaks in with a shouty commercial.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> Zombie thread...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not anymore, it isn't! 

Reanimator. Now that was a cult classic!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Re-Animator


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## blahfridge (Dec 6, 2014)

Good advice from many here to get exercise and try a protein supplement. I too have trouble gaining weight and exercise actually helps me with that because it increases my appetite. If you have allergies, taking a Benadryl will take care of the sneezing and runny nose and also help you sleep.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

happy as a clam said:


> Zombie thread...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yep, and the OP hasn't been around for almost 3 years................


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