# emotional affair



## greeneyesforever (May 19, 2011)

Married for 10 yrs, its been rocky to say the least. Physical abuse- we got passed it and sought counseling. problems with inlaws-has now been resolved. Relationship seemed healthy after we had our kids who are both under 5.

Husband has always said he would never cheat...even confronted family members WHO HAVE cheated..blasting them for it. Never gave me a reason to suspect.

until...I found the text messages from a much younger female coworker. 

2 pics provided by her with nudity, multiple requests to meet her and have sex, texts with a lot of dirty talk..mostly from her. 

He would come home and go straight to bed..little did i know he was texting HER in our bed..he said he was exhausted.

This went on for about a month.

He said that if the relationship had went on he would of eventually slept with her or someone else because it was exciting getting that attention. Our sex life has been...dull...to say the least.

of course now he says he is sorry...will never do it again..loves me..only wants me...

Im realistic enough to know that this is his immediate fear coming to a head...and give it a month or so and he may not feel like this...when the guilt starts to wear off.

neither one of us has been very happy in the past year...he wont even consider a separation..says he loves me..but I wonder if this is the beginning of the end for us. There always seems to be a crisis we have to overcome and Im mentally worn out from it all.

very few people know in real life..so I have no one I can really turn to with this..especially with an objective attitude.

oh...he also said on a scale of 1-10 he was a 6 for sleeping with her...this from a man who said he would never cheat:scratchhead::scratchhead: he also said he didnt find her that attractive (i saw her..and she isnt..and if she was id be the first to admit it honestly) he didnt enjoy her company much..he just liked the attention... blows my mind that he would risk every thing for a little attention.


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## greeneyesforever (May 19, 2011)

oh and she was the one asking for sex..and he would tell her no.

he was also never late from work and their lunches are taken on site with other employees (everyone has to do it that way) so Im 99% sure there wasnt anything physical going on..yet.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

What is he going to do to protect you and your marriage going forward?

A few pointers:

He changes jobs , he must never work near or with the OW again.
He changes any number she contacted him on.
His parents and your are to be told of the affair. 
He must be completely transparent with all his whereabout, email accounts, passwords .

As for recovery , this takes years, he has to actively work to rebuild the trust in your marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs1980 (May 6, 2011)

You need to get the boss involved. Do you have access to the text-pix? Send them in an email to both their bosses. In this economy-what company wants their employees spending their work day sexting? And no matter how much he wanted it-sending a co-worker a nude photo would be considered sexual harassment.


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## greeneyesforever (May 19, 2011)

my parents know..he refuses to tell his or any of his other family members or friends.
her number is blocked from his phone and mine and I am checking the phone bill from here on out.
the working together will hopefully never happen again..she was a seasonal/part time worker (he is full time)

he has said that if he ever gets the "urge" he'll just avoid the woman and tell me...but I dont know if he really would or not ..now that he has had a small taste of the "excitement"


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## greeneyesforever (May 19, 2011)

no everything was deleted and us cellular says even with a court order after 3-5 days of deletion they no longer have access to texts or pics of any kind.


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## greeneyesforever (May 19, 2011)

part of me doesnt want to forgive this at all and just move forward with a separation...but the other part says that he has never been a flirtatious man..never been the "life of the party" he is the quite one to the side that never makes the first move... I literally had to throw myself at him for months for him to make a move and he is older than me =) so this whole situation has me questioning what the heck just happened...how could HE of all people do that...even my girlfriend said that if she had to pick one of us to cheat..she would of bet a 1000 bucks it would of been ME ...never HIM..because he "adores" me =(


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