# What book about infedility has been the most helpful?



## fairydust (Mar 28, 2009)

What books about infedility have you read that you found most helpful? I don't have alot of spare time but have read a few books. Just wondering what else anyone might have read that they enjoyed.


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## findingpeace (Mar 14, 2009)

I recomend two books one Love must be tough by Dr james Dobson this book is good and another book is surviving an affair I forgot the author on that on sorry hope this helps


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

The book that helped me the most was His needs Her needs how to affair proof your marriage. The move Fireproof is also very good.


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## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

The issue with books, is they tend to be loopsided how to forgive and forget is the entire mission. They offer very limited support to the victim, if leaving or forgiving is not in the cards. The other fact many are belief based, the pain of affair is real and has to be treated as such.


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## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

Here is a glaring example of response by Dr. Dobson to wife that cannot forgive and forget after ten months.

Take note of ignoring her pain, and placing again the weight of affair on her shoulders. 

Why not offered time to pack bags and seek god's wisdom.

Kendra, I'm very sorry to hear about your husband's affair. I'm sure the past 10 months have been very difficult for you, and that you've experienced feelings of shock, anger, sadness, and betrayal. 

If your husband is truly repentant, I believe you should give reconciliation a chance. You may find it hard to believe, but many couples whose marriages were devastated by adultery have been able to put the pieces back together and go on to have a fulfilling, loving relationship again.

Every one of those couples will tell you the process involved a lot of hard work, and that the feelings of love didn't return overnight. But some would tell you that their marriage is healthier now than it was prior to the affair. 

If you are willing to at least consider reconciliation, I'd encourage you to find a Christian therapist who is experienced in working with marriages impacted by adultery. Our Focus on the Family counseling department may be able to help you locate a therapist in your area.


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## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

Your marriage can survive an affair. Healing from infidelity is hard, painful work; both of you must be committed to repairing the damage, rebuilding trust, and reconnecting. On the agenda: The unfaithful spouse must be willing to stop the affair, provide all details honestly and completely, and take the steps necessary to prove his or her trustworthiness. The betrayed spouse must take the job of healing seriously -- by not minimizing or trying to speed up the process and, at times, by setting aside overwhelming anger and despair in order to learn more about what's happened. Stopping secrecy and building a more honest union are the keys. 


Keep talking and listening, no matter how long it takes. You can't speed up your spouse's healing process, and you shouldn't ever negate its significance.If you make a commitment to follow these strategies with your whole heart, your marriage has a good chance of surviving the affair -- and emerging stronger on the other side. 


MAN WHAT GOOOBY GOOP FOR A BOOK START, WHERE IS THE HURT SPOUSE. I DO SAY GO BUY THE BOOK.

AND RENAME IT 'FOOL THY SPOUSE HANDBOOK'.


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