# She's being a brat



## jrice94 (Jan 4, 2013)

A little back story for you: We're both 18 We met at a movie and have been inseparable ever since. She was so cool just chill not high maintenance like the girls at my school . Her idea of a good time was sitting on my couch watching a movie or driving out to the boonies and looking at the stars.I wanted to give her everything she wanted, and i did. At one point we flew to Maui and Paris ( for a family vacation but still). And slowly but surely she became a little more self centered, a little more ditzy, and bratty. This all climaxed when i bought her a 350 dollar piece of jewelry for no reason at all. She knows how to get me to buy her things. She'll see it, ask me to buy it, start hugging me, flash those big brown puppy dog eyes, throw in a pouty lip, and say please 1,000 times, and if that doesn't work she kisses me on the cheek until my heart melts enough and i'm a sucker for that so i give in. So today she wakes up at 8 am and asks if we can go to the city ( Chicago). I like chicago, i like to just look at the people and sky scrapers, and i hope to school there. We end up on michigan avenue in Nordstrom and within about 30 seconds she finds a necklace.
Her: You know who would really look good in that?
Me: Kate Upton? ( can't outsmart a smart aleck)
Her: No, me
* starts hugging me
* flashes eyes and lips
Her: Babe, will you buy it for me please i want it
please please it's so pretty you know you want to
* starts kissing me
Me: but sweetie it's like $700
i just bought you stuff for Christmas ( about 1,000 dollars worth)
* puppy dog eyes*
Her: Please baby do it for me
Her: but think about how pretty i'd be in it
Me: I think you're pretty at 3am in your pajamas
Her: So are you going to buy me the thing or not
Me: I'm not
Her: You're such an ***hole
Me: And you're a spoiled brat now i'm leaving going to the car and driving home, you can either come with me or you can be stranded here with no money for a cab
Her: i hate you
She got all teary eyed and was crying in the car
we get back to our place and she runs into the bedroom and starts crying on the bed. She throws a pillow at me and slams the door.
Her: You're not sleeping in here until you apologize
Me: lemme know when you decide to stop being spoiled and get a job to start buying your own stuff.
Should i just buy it for her? i mean i hate seeing her upset but on the other hand i want to prove to her that i'm not a doormat. I hate conflict. I just want her to be happy but i want the old her back?


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

You're joking, right? Seriously, you are asking us if you should give in to her selfish, bratty behavior? Really???

What do you think?


----------



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

So you say you're both 18 and already taken her to Maui and Paris and you two seemingly spend unlimited money on each other. Hmmmm....... Are you married or living together?


----------



## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

Crying and slamming doors because she doesn't get her own way is the exact opposite of 'not high maintenance'.

You two are living in your own place, or your parents? Have you graduated high school? Are you working? Where did the $350 dollars and $1,000 dollars come from? 

Do you have $700 to spend, after rent and bills and savings and an emergency fund is all taken care of? Because if not, there's no question that you did the right thing. If everything is taken care of every month and you're still swimming in money, just buy her the darned jewelry. You've spoiled her already, she already knows you express love by spending money, so you can't just take that back without it seeming (to her) like you're withholding love.

If you have the money to spend, but prefer her attitude to be less 'gold-diggerish' you also have the option to talk to her about it, set up boundaries (no frivolous spending over $100, for example), and then it's up to her if she can live that way and whether she wants to stay with you.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I read the other posts you made on TAM. It's all about her: SHE wants to move in with you, SHE is being bullied, SHE is being unreasonable, SHE is a brat. Uh, yeah ... SHE is an 18 year old kid who has an inflated sense of entitlement.

From the sound of it, she is quite invested in you buying her stuff. And throwing a tantrum because you wouldn't buy her a necklace she wanted ... immature.

And right now you are being a doormat and a sucker for allowing her to manipulate you. You don't make people happy; that's an inside job. And, to address your specific issue, you don't buy a woman lots of stuff in order to keep her happy and "cure" her bratty behavior.


----------



## ManUp (Nov 25, 2012)

Boo hop. Tell her to grow up. That since she values the things you buy over you, she can leave. 

BTW, you handled her sh!t test perfectly. If you give in now, she's never going to learn.


----------



## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Run, don't walk.


----------



## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

yh don't buy her the necklace or this scenario is going to happen over and over again.


----------



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Prodigal said:


> I read the other posts you made on TAM. It's all about her: SHE wants to move in with you, SHE is being bullied, SHE is being unreasonable, SHE is a brat. Uh, yeah ... SHE is an 18 year old kid who has an inflated sense of entitlement.
> 
> From the sound of it, she is quite invested in you buying her stuff. And throwing a tantrum because you wouldn't buy her a necklace she wanted ... immature.
> 
> And right now you are being a doormat and a sucker for allowing her to manipulate you. You don't make people happy; that's an inside job. And, to address your specific issue, you don't buy a woman lots of stuff in order to keep her happy and "cure" her bratty behavior.


I wonder if the posts are even true.


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

where's the money coming from? 18 and spending $$$$ on jewellery? and going to Paris? come on


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> where's the money coming from? 18 and spending $$$$ on jewellery? and going to Paris? come on


No kidding, Dolly! Where is a senior in high school getting THAT kind of money to spend on his girlfriend??? Hmmmmm????


----------



## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

... And does he have an older brother?


----------



## jrice94 (Jan 4, 2013)

The trips were trips we went on with my family for summer vacation


----------



## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

jrice94 said:


> The trips were trips we went on with my family for summer vacation


Ok, so mommy and daddy paid her way. That makes sense....

What about all the gifts? Seriously, a high school kid who can throw away $350 at a time on jewelry for his girlfriend.... or is that money from mom and dad, too?

Regardless, your gf is behaving like an entitled spoiled brat. Stop giving in to her.


----------



## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

Rice, you are 18 now and no longer a little boy. You spent $1000 dollars on her for Christmas and she asks for a $700 item. Unless you are independently wealthy, you have already spoiled this child. It is no wonder she expects you to give her more. My recommendation is to return this one to the herd, she is not a keeper. You need to concentrate your efforts on your education and play the field for awhile until you find one that looks like a keeper.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Here's my initial reaction to this thread in particular, but your threads in general. My instincts are telling me there is a discrepancy between the style of your writing, your situation, and your age. thatbpguy put it out there, and I'm glad he did.

I could be wrong, and if I am, let me apologize up front for my incorrect assessment. Okay, so parents paid for vacations to Paris and Maui. My conclusion is your parents are loaded. You mentioned, in a previous post, that gf's parents are rarely at home and don't appear concerned about her welfare.

I'm spit balling here, but my initial take is you are from a rather wealthy family and you have plenty of money to toss around. On the other hand, your gf is from a family that isn't close, she's being bullied at school, and expects you to help her with this problem. 

Sounds like more than just the bullying problem at school to me. I don't know what makes this young woman so appealing to you. I don't know if you just have this urge to rescue her. I don't know if she's a bit of a gold-digger with a victim mentality, although that's what it sounds like from what you're reporting. I don't know if you are even 18.

Something doesn't sound quite right ... so enlighten us. I want to know why a young man, who has the financial means to live as you describe, is tolerating childish, selfish behavior from an 18 year old girl. Seriously. What is the story on this? Because I gotta tell ya .... she wants vacations and material possessions. She wants a protector. She wants, she wants, she wants.

What is she bringing to this relationship?


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Really? Come on.


----------



## Tony55 (Jun 8, 2012)

JRice, you've had more problems with your girlfriend in the past two days than most guys have with their wife in a year. When you go to university make sure you major in High Maintenance Logistics 101.

Or you can skip school altogether and kick off a career in writing.

T


----------



## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

"Can't outsmart a smart-alec..."

What? seriously. Forgive me, but you give yourself WAY too much credit since everything from your post, quite to the contrary, says you're a sucker...


----------



## jrice94 (Jan 4, 2013)

What she brings is that she used to love me for me and i try day after day to hopefully recapture those feelings we used to have. As of now she brings nothing to the relationship but she used to.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

jrice94 said:


> ... she used to love me for me and i try day after day to hopefully recapture those feelings we used to have.


You can't "recapture" the feelings she had for you. You can't buy her back. It sounds to me like she's just using you to get stuff while she can. Because from the sounds of it, she's just not that into you. 

Nobody can be manipulated or be a doormat. Not unless they allow it. Right now you are allowing it. Why? Because you hope to get things back to what they were.

As a rule, people who are 18 aren't ready to have a long-term, commited relationship. They're still dating to develop ideas at to what they want in a partner. 

If you're only 18, why not do yourself a favor and date around and relax. Heck, I was 18 about a million years ago. I fell "in love," I got hurt, I met someone else, I broke up, blah, blah, blah. I didn't get married until I was 24. Even then, in hindsight, I think I was too young to get married.

Why do you want to be so tied down while you're young? Go out and enjoy life. Your gf is immature and way too invested in superficial crap.


----------



## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

jrice94 said:


> What she brings is that she used to love me for me and i try day after day to hopefully recapture those feelings we used to have. As of now she brings nothing to the relationship but she used to.


Sounds like she lost that "Lovin' Feeling", time to upgrade to Girl Friend 2.0 my friend. Quit wasting your time.


----------



## streamofsilence (Nov 25, 2012)

The problem from my point of view is that you are still attracted to a girl who has turned out to be so spoilt. If you spoiled her from the beginning, you can't complain now for the fact she expects you to buy her whatever she sets her eyes on. 
I think anyway she needs to grow up as others have said; what you told her is right, but you need to decide if this is the kind of immature person you wanna be around. Don't feel guilty cuz she is trying to manipulate you so blatantly with her crying.


----------

