# how to delay cumming without losing erection?



## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

When I was younger, If I felt like I was cumming too soon, I could slow down or switch to foreplay. But now, I find that if I try these methods, I simply lose my erection and find it difficult to get it back which we both find very frustrating and my wife simply thinks I don't find her attractive. If opt for cumming rather than delay, she doesn't seem to mind and enjoys the sensation of the cum inside her but obviously she and I would much rather have a long fairly vigorous session lasting a bit more than five minutes. I have tried masturbating several hours before to relieve the urgency, but that doesn't work.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Get online and buy Cialis for about $1 a pill. You'll thank me later.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Do your usual then considerate on finishing her .

You might find that her orgasm will bring you around for a second go around.

Rinse and repeat.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

**** ring


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

chillymorn69 said:


> **** ring


Translation for those that didn't follow. Quality Silicon ring that encircles penis, trapping blood so it does not go flaccid.


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## Lurkster (Feb 8, 2016)

chillymorn69 said:


> Do your usual then considerate on finishing her .
> 
> You might find that her orgasm will bring you around for a second go around.
> 
> Rinse and repeat.


That's what we do! Leads to multiple O's.....for both of us!


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

twoofus said:


> When I was younger, If I felt like I was cumming too soon, I could slow down or switch to foreplay. But now, I find that if I try these methods, I simply lose my erection and find it difficult to get it back which we both find very frustrating and my wife simply thinks I don't find her attractive...


The only difference is that now you seem to be dealing with erectile disfunction induced by some form of performance anxiety. You can either get an ED medication and ignore your performance anxiety or choose to actually deal with all the emotions causing you and your wife to feel frustrated. 

The pill is much easier and priced accordingly to maximize profits...



> When it comes to buying 10 Viagra tablets of 100mg each, costs are as follows at each of these chain pharmacies: CVS: $601.00 ($60.10 per tablet). Walgreens: $621.00 ($62.10 per tablet). Walmart: $587.00 ($58.70 per tablet).


...because most dudes would rather spend $600 a month than to try and deal with and understand their emotions. Besides therapy to accomplish this will be thousands, so the pill is still a better value in the short term. 

Cheers,
Badsanta


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## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

Ahhh the age old question, if you find an answer let the world know to usher in the golden age.


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## Phil Anders (Jun 24, 2015)

How are your testosterone levels these days?

Jerking off first seems counterproductive--instead, build up some mojo and learn to edge (& teach your W not to push you over it unintentionally). Also if you're using porn for "letting off steam," consider that it could be conditioning you in some way that interferes, sensation- or input-wise. 

Sometimes it works to take a break and do oral on her while using a hand to keep yourself hard--but only if you're concentrating on enjoying her rather than thinking "hope I can keep it up!" 

Much of the solution lies in not making a thing of it mentally. The more you focus on it as a problem rather than just a temporary condition of no significance--and the more your wife conflates lack of erection with lack of attraction--the harder it will be to get past. 

Pills or ring could be a good crutch to break the pattern. If you get cialis rx get the 20mg and cut them...cheaper that way.

Your W can really help your mental state by believing in her own allure and flaunting it around you rather than acting concerned and insecure. I wish more women understood that this is why porn works for men: it's not the perfect bodies, it's the attitude.


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## StuckInLove (Jun 6, 2017)

The advice I was going to offer has been said in a few of the above posts. It's likely 100% mental, and the more real you make it, the more real it will become. I have faced this in my mid-20's, and the one thing that worked was stopping, accepting that I've gone soft, and engaging in more foreplay with her. Usually, giving her oral and making her orgasm is more than enough to get the dogs barkin' again. Once you can prove to yourself that you can get it up again, it will stop giving you anxiety and next thing you know, you won't have a problem. Lasting long used to be the BIGGEST issue for me, and I'd get so much anxiety about it that I'd lose my erection and/or cum early, further solidifying the anxiety. I used to not be able to even touch her unless I drank a big swig of alcohol before hand to curb the anxiety a bit and decrease sensitivity. Now, I have overcome it and can last as long as I want, and have no anxiety about losing my erection. She's pretty damn happy about it too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

twoofus said:


> When I was younger, If I felt like I was cumming too soon, I could slow down or switch to foreplay. But now, I find that if I try these methods, I simply lose my erection and find it difficult to get it back which we both find very frustrating and my wife simply thinks I don't find her attractive. If opt for cumming rather than delay, she doesn't seem to mind and enjoys the sensation of the cum inside her but obviously she and I would much rather have a long fairly vigorous session lasting a bit more than five minutes. I have tried masturbating several hours before to relieve the urgency, but that doesn't work.


What is your avatar? Weird


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> What is your avatar? Weird


Purely an abstract, no meaning, nothing else.


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

It is a bit of a reverse of something I experienced 10 years ago, I had a spell when I could keep going for ages, but cumming for me was sometimes difficult and if I didn't, my wife would think it was because I didn't find her attractive. All a bit odd that she thinks it far more important for me to orgasm than her. I did try once to fake a dry orgasm, but she didn't buy that!


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

I should have added that the situation I described in the opening post is actually an improvement on where we were a few months ago: Then I would lose an erection before PIV even started even if I felt incredibly horny. I have been a bit reluctant to initiate sex because of this. She never initiates, but will complain when I haven't for several weeks. However, when I do she nearly always accepts so perhaps making sex a more regular and frequent event would help me improve.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

twoofus said:


> I should have added that the situation I described in the opening post is actually an improvement on where we were a few months ago: Then I would lose an erection before PIV even started even if I felt incredibly horny. I have been a bit reluctant to initiate sex because of this. She never initiates, but will complain when I haven't for several weeks. However, when I do she nearly always accepts so perhaps making sex a more regular and frequent event would help me improve.


Have you considered talking to a sex therapist? My husband suffered performance anxiety for a period of time in our marriage. The sex therapy was critical to helping him overcome it. 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## David Darling (Oct 22, 2016)

twoofus said:


> When I was younger, If I felt like I was cumming too soon, I could slow down or switch to foreplay. But now, I find that if I try these methods, I simply lose my erection and find it difficult to get it back which we both find very frustrating and my wife simply thinks I don't find her attractive. If opt for cumming rather than delay, she doesn't seem to mind and enjoys the sensation of the cum inside her but obviously she and I would much rather have a long fairly vigorous session lasting a bit more than five minutes. I have tried masturbating several hours before to relieve the urgency, but that doesn't work.


How old are you?

If over 50, then it sounds a pretty common (normal?) situation. Accept you're no longer a teen, don't stress about it. The mechanics of sex change a bit as you get older, but that doesn't mean it can't be as good as ever.


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

chillymorn69 said:


> Do your usual then considerate on finishing her .
> 
> You might find that her orgasm will bring you around for a second go around.
> 
> Rinse and repeat.


I would happily do more for her, maybe oral, vibrator, cuddling, second round of foreplay etc, but she has it in her mind that soon as I cum, sex is over after a brief cuddle and reaches for the tissues.

BTW, not sure what you mean by Rinse and repeat - did you mean Rise?


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

twoofus said:


> I would happily do more for her, maybe oral, vibrator, cuddling, second round of foreplay etc, but she has it in her mind that soon as I cum, sex is over after a brief cuddle and reaches for the tissues.
> 
> BTW, not sure what you mean by Rinse and repeat - did you mean Rise?


When she reaches for the rissue just say in your saultry manly voice I not done yet and put the moves on her,

That was fantastic ! I just can't help but diving in for round two you look sooo sexy tonight I can't get enough.

When she balks at this keep it playfull and just go down on her use your hands tounge fingers .

Suck her toes if you have to.
But playfull and desirous .



Rinse and repeat.

Ever read the directions on shampoo?

They all say rinse and repeat...it means do it again and agin and again.


If she really keeps refusing to let you continue ythen you don't want her to be pissed like you raped her.

So plan B tell her before sex listen I am going to bang you then bring you to the most amazing orgasm after and then bang you again .
And if you loved me and want to be a good lover you would be open minded enough to let this happen because I love pleasing you and prolonged sex is something I would like to try to spice things up.


If she still refuses then your sol

Shes just to inhibited to open up with you to have great sex.


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## pplwatching (Jun 15, 2012)

chillymorn69 said:


> And if you loved me and want to be a good lover you would be open minded enough to let this happen because I love pleasing you and prolonged sex is something I would like to try to spice things up.


I am against any conversation that begins with "If you loved me ...", even in this context. To me this accusation seems to be manipulation on par with a spouse who says "If you loved me you would do what I want" in any other context. What does his wife's willingness to have sex in any particular way have to do with whether or not she loves him? 

"If you wanted to be a good lover you would be open minded enough to let this happen" seems to be equally manipulative, maybe more so. Is she not a good lover for being open to having sex in the first place? I don't think that it's appropriate to use manipulation and imply that wanting anything other than what he wants makes her a bad lover or close-minded. 

OP, if you want longer sexual sessions then by all means talk about it, express that desire, and negotiate for it like you would in any other aspect of your marriage. You can lovingly talk about the fact that for you sex doesn't have to end when you orgasm, but what she wants matters as much as you want. Ask her if she's open to the idea, and maybe even if there's a reason that she feels like she needs to reach for a tissue? But remember that "I just do" is as good of a reason as any, since it seems like that's the way that it has always been for the two of you until age caught up with you. At the end of the day if for her sex is over when you ejaculate then don't try to manipulate her into changing her mind or make her feel that her feelings somehow make her selfish, a bad lover, or imply that she doesn't love you. IMHO that's just being a boorish lover.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

twoofus said:


> When I was younger, If I felt like I was cumming too soon, I could slow down or switch to foreplay. But now, I find that if I try these methods, I simply lose my erection and find it difficult to get it back which we both find very frustrating and my wife simply thinks I don't find her attractive. If opt for cumming rather than delay, she doesn't seem to mind and enjoys the sensation of the cum inside her but obviously she and I would much rather have a long fairly vigorous session lasting a bit more than five minutes. I have tried masturbating several hours before to relieve the urgency, but that doesn't work.



Simple solution.


Get regular testosterone shots from your doctor and hit the gym hard. You'll notice almost right away the problem you're having will disappear quickly....its all testosterone. Go once, and you'll be ready a second and third round.


It's called aging.


By our early 40's, we've lost up to 25% of our testosterone levels and it only gets worse.


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## adriw7878 (Nov 23, 2017)

We both are married 20 yrs now and both have simultaneous orgasm 90% of the time. 3 years ago I suffered a medical negligence issue that rendered me comatosed for 2 years. I spent 6 months therapy to learn to walk and talk again.

When we started making love again, I came quite fast. Then we tried to stop moving when I felt like coming and continue to foreplay (without withdrawing) .... continue after orgasm sensation subsided. It helped us.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

use a flexible rubber **** ring. it will trap the blood in your penis, and keep it erect...even if its been a while and normally would have started to deflate.


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## David51 (Sep 12, 2017)

No need to stop yourself from orgasm but after you do you need to do something else to her such as oral (don’t be afraid of your own cum ). Gobble her up until you are arroused and erect then go back to PIV, if you get off again then go back to oral. A little practice and you will find you can stay at her all night. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

https://www.k-y.com/product/k-y-dur...ensitizer-spray-36-sprays-016-oz-067981966596


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

I thought I should update this with progress.
Since I posted this several months ago, I have fully acceptive that my wife is passive and that she prefers that I assume a more dominant role in all matters including sex. I have since lost a fair amount of excess weight and feel a lot more confident in my physical appearance and performance. Being healthy has improved my erections no end. Now I feel able to be dominant where I need/want to be and have no fear of flagging.


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