# New to this



## luvliving (Jun 19, 2012)

I'm new to this. Just recently separated from husband of 17 years. We've both made mistakes. I moved out because I didn't want my daughter listening to all the accusations he was yelling at me, which were true btw. Now I get her every other week. Don't know what we're doing in the future. Divorce or not? It's just scary and lonely. Not sure I want to go back and really afraid I will just go back because it's easier than being alone.
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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

What were the accusations


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> all the accusations he was yelling at me, which were true btw


infidelity?


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## luvliving (Jun 19, 2012)

We went through a abortion 12years ago. His suggestion. Even though I thought I could handle it, has eaten at me. He has looked at porn all these years and this past year I had an affair. I'm going to counseling but he isn't. I just don't know how to make things right again.
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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

There's only one big issue here and that is the fact that you had an affair. Everything else you listed is not significant compared to the affair.

-Was it physical or only emotional? 
-How long did it last? 
-How did it stop? 
-How did your husband find out?
-What have you done so far to make things right that hasn't worked?


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## luvliving (Jun 19, 2012)

It was physical and my husband found messages. I have broken off all contact with the affair partner and moved out which my husband wanted me to. I have answered all his questions. The abortion has a lot to do with all of this. It was something that he said we didn't need to ever discuss.
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## Reese100 (Jun 19, 2012)

Whether or not you decide to divorce, it's important to take care of yourself. Here's an article that can help make sense of what you're feeling and give you a self-help technique you can use immediately to cope and not beat yourself up.

Francine Shapiro, Ph.D.: How To Take Back Your Power After A Divorce


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