# Im i being paranoid



## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

We have been okay. Wife got laid off Friday. I went to work till 7p yesterday. She had baseball practice for the kids till 730 ish.
I got home 730 .
kids got dropped home at 830pm by a friend. Asked them where mom was they said she went to next town to get two matresses from someone. Her cousins two 
Kids are coming tomorrow to spend summer with us from out of town.
I called her 830pm and she was headad home. Got home 845.
Shedidn't tell me she was going to next town when I text her at 8pm.
she came in look ing angry cause I had oversprayed air freshener. And made remarks. No hug or hello.Then she makes bed. My side of sheets were still damp. So I suggested we flip covers. She said no. It's no that damp it will dry with room fan.
I was like why is she being so selfish.
I laid my head where my feet usually are to avoid damp area at the head. And We argued. She took pillows to go sleep in daughters room n we argued more so she ended up not going to sleep there.

?????


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Sounds like she's mad at you for something.


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## Bob Davis (Nov 5, 2014)

Or else just plain mad. About the layoff, etc, etc, etc. And taking it out on the world in general. And OP just happened to get in the way.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

shaka,

There's not really much with the situation where I would say there are huge red flags. I know your wife's past behavior maybe has you on edge at the moment. I can see why she maybe did some last minute running around to get the necessary things to accomodate the cousins that are staying in the summer.

Maybe the stress of the lay off has her a little rattled?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

PMS?


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Thanks or advice guys.
We just got the kids.

She went out and bought our kids an her cousins kids take out lunch and they all came back home with it and sat down to it. Nothing for me. So I've left he house to get my own.

Not acting like a big baby, but how do you get everyone else something to eat when your hubby is home and not remember to bring him something? Even a call to say he honey I am at such and such ordering something, would you like something to eat?


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

I asked her why she didn't et me anything, and she says she forgot and is sorry.


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

Oh and me sayin im upset she didn't bring me something to eat, she responded with " now your acting like a child".


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Shaka,

Did your wife pick something up to eat from a place you normally don't eat from? Or was it a type of cuisine she knows you don't particulary care for?

For example, at times I will pick up Chinese carry-out for my daughter & I. On those occassions, I don't bother calling my DH or even asking him if he wants something. 99.9% of the time he says he doesn't want anything. Now, there have been rare occassions where I have picked up Chinese carry out...didn't get the DH anything & then he asks me why. LOL!!


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

I work 12 hours a day. I get home exhausted and hungry. By then shes taken the kids for baseball practice or a game( 4-5) days a week, and the practices end late like 9 or 930. By the time they get home im fast asleep. As I got home and cooked and walked dog and showered and slept as I have to be up again at 4 am.
We are having intimacy very rarely. I have asked why this town has sports after school practices so many days a week even on school nights and all summer and why so late. Why cant practice end like at 7? She says its always been this way in this town.
For health purposes I don't eat out to frequently. So after work I have to drive home as I work out of town and by the time I get home and walk the dog, im so exhausted most nights I go to bed with nothing to eat. By the time they come home im fast asleep.

She does ask me to come for practice:

We are in a small rural town( where she grew up and knows everyone), I moved here and know not a soul.
My wok schedule doesn't allow me to be up from 4 am , drive to work in other town, stand on my feet 12 hrs labor work, drive home, walk dog come back cook, and rush to join them at practice until 930pm. Go back home and get ready to be up in 6 hrs for another long day.

Any suggestions?


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

was macdonalds. And I love the tea from there and she always asks when she goes if I want a tea


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

I was brought up that you don't buy something to eat alone when you are a family. Id never go get kids and myself food and come home knowing shes at home, and not bring her something.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Due to your wife's (relatively recent) past behavior, you're currently stuck in a state that is often described as hyper-vigilance, and it's because of this that your wife's current behavior has you sort of reeling.

That said, if I were to hazard a guess, I'd say that the stress of being laid off PLUS the stress of having extra kids in the house is probably taking a toll on your wife.

Now.. as to whether or not there's anything else to it...? Who knows. Keep your eyes open, your ears to the ground, and try not to drive yourself crazy.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

have you sat down and asked her why she is upset with you ?


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

It's getting worse


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## shakazulu2420 (Sep 16, 2014)

She looks at me like she's angry at me. Talks to me sometimes like she's mad at me. I don't get it.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

shakazulu2420 said:


> She looks at me like she's angry at me. Talks to me sometimes like she's mad at me. I don't get it.


Calmly call her out on it.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

shakazulu2420 said:


> We have been okay. Wife got laid off Friday. I went to work till 7p yesterday. She had baseball practice for the kids till 730 ish.
> I got home 730 .
> kids got dropped home at 830pm by a friend. Asked them where mom was they said she went to next town to get two matresses from someone. Her cousins two
> Kids are coming tomorrow to spend summer with us from out of town.
> ...


She just got laid off work, maybe that has something to do with it? Maybe she is worried about financial security, perhaps you could be a little more understanding about that? All you are worried about is your wet patch on the bed:frown2:

Did you talk to her about this, why don't you simply ask her if she's ok, does she want to talk, put your arm around her, tell her it will be ok.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Sorry Shaka, I went back and read all of your later posts and see that you are acting a little bit like a child (sorry I do not want to offend you). Granted, she doesn't appear to appreciate all your hard work (and awful hours) and you ignore the things she is probably struggling with so the dance begins, tit for tat. One of you have to be the one to stop the dance and be an adult. Why don't you give it a go?


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Shaka,

Could it be that you both are overwhelmed? You seem to have a very demanding job with demanding hours, not to mention that treacherous commute everyday. Your wife just got laid off from her job & now she is hosting additional kids in the home. Less money, more mouths to feed, layoff, daily stress.....that's enough to make a person squirrely enough to forget to pick you up something from McDonald's.

Maybe you both need to have a "date night in"....order from a restaurant you both like, pick it up, rent a movie, & redirect focus back on you two. When was the last time you both spent quality time without any distractions? I think even after the problems you guys had months ago, you guys haven't really reconnected emotionally. Time to get some quality time in! ;-)


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