# When to stop punishing him and try to move forward



## Bdar2021 (May 11, 2021)

My husband and I have been married for 7 months, and together for 5 years. I just found out that my husband started an emotional affair with a much younger coworker and it became sexual. This affair started 3 weeks after our wedding and has been ongoing for the entire duration of our 7 month marriage. I am incredibly hurt, shocked, but love him and want to try and make it work. He is ashamed, and trying to put the work in by reading books, listening to podcasts, and finding a marriage counselor. He has blocked this girl from his contacts/social media etc. He has given me a true apology, and after staying at his dads house for 3 days came home and stayed in the guest bedroom. I feel very alone, and believe that he is sorry and I want to try and move on and start the healing process. I don’t want to hurt our chances of reconnecting by continuing to punish him by having him sleep elsewhere, or not hug or kiss me. But I don’t want him to think I’m forgiving him or that we have resolved any issues. I don’t want to give him an easy way out, but by prolonging punishing him I know I’m hurting myself as well. I’m a sexual person and want to have my husband there to meet my needs and have some kind of experience intimacy, I just don’t know how much how quickly is beneficial versus harmful. I want to have some kind of connection so we don’t lose the desire for each other, but I also don’t want to “reward” him after having this affair. We are on several counselor waiting lists now, but probably not able to get into an office for several more weeks. I just want to start doing the most beneficial thing that we can do now, while we await counseling.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Wait....3 weeks post marriage??? To stay would be insanity.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

So he can't even be faithful when you have only just married? Wow. This doesn't bode at all well for the future. Far better to find a man with integrity and who keeps his promises for more than a few weeks.


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## Bdar2021 (May 11, 2021)

I have thought about what both of you are saying, and have already reached out to a divorce attorney. Divorce is not off the table, but I have agreed to attempt marriage counseling and try to move past this hurt. Prior to being cheated on I always said I would leave immediately, but things change. Please respect my inquiry about how to try and move on from the affair and cope with the infidelity while trying to put our best foot forward to heal as completely as we can. Please no more comments about how quickly the affair happened or how it doesn’t bode well. I already have all of these thoughts.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Bdar2021 said:


> My husband and I have been married for 7 months, and together for 5 years. I just found out that my husband started an emotional affair with a much younger coworker and it became sexual. This affair started 3 weeks after our wedding and has been ongoing for the entire duration of our 7 month marriage. I am incredibly hurt, shocked, but love him and want to try and make it work. He is ashamed, and trying to put the work in by reading books, listening to podcasts, and finding a marriage counselor. He has blocked this girl from his contacts/social media etc. He has given me a true apology, and after staying at his dads house for 3 days came home and stayed in the guest bedroom. I feel very alone, and believe that he is sorry and I want to try and move on and start the healing process. I don’t want to hurt our chances of reconnecting by continuing to punish him by having him sleep elsewhere, or not hug or kiss me. But I don’t want him to think I’m forgiving him or that we have resolved any issues. I don’t want to give him an easy way out, but by prolonging punishing him I know I’m hurting myself as well. I’m a sexual person and want to have my husband there to meet my needs and have some kind of experience intimacy, I just don’t know how much how quickly is beneficial versus harmful. I want to have some kind of connection so we don’t lose the desire for each other, but I also don’t want to “reward” him after having this affair. We are on several counselor waiting lists now, but probably not able to get into an office for several more weeks. I just want to start doing the most beneficial thing that we can do now, while we await counseling.


Have you explored online counselling?


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Bdar2021 said:


> My husband and I have been married for 7 months, and together for 5 years. I just found out that my husband started an emotional affair with a much younger coworker and it became sexual. This affair started 3 weeks after our wedding and has been ongoing for the entire duration of our 7 month marriage. I am incredibly hurt, shocked, but love him and want to try and make it work. He is ashamed, and trying to put the work in by reading books, listening to podcasts, and finding a marriage counselor. He has blocked this girl from his contacts/social media etc. He has given me a true apology, and after staying at his dads house for 3 days came home and stayed in the guest bedroom. I feel very alone, and believe that he is sorry and I want to try and move on and start the healing process. I don’t want to hurt our chances of reconnecting by continuing to punish him by having him sleep elsewhere, or not hug or kiss me. But I don’t want him to think I’m forgiving him or that we have resolved any issues. I don’t want to give him an easy way out, but by prolonging punishing him I know I’m hurting myself as well. I’m a sexual person and want to have my husband there to meet my needs and have some kind of experience intimacy, I just don’t know how much how quickly is beneficial versus harmful. I want to have some kind of connection so we don’t lose the desire for each other, but I also don’t want to “reward” him after having this affair. We are on several counselor waiting lists now, but probably not able to get into an office for several more weeks. I just want to start doing the most beneficial thing that we can do now, while we await counseling.


Your honeymoon phase was him cheating on you. That’s not good.

What’s sad about your post... is that you phrase this as “punishment”. Creating boundaries for a person who deserves NOTHING from you isn’t punishment, it’s an appropriate reaction.

Do not go to marriage counseling. Do not have sex with him. Do not tell him you’re ready to work on your marriage. He needs to do all his own work on himself. He needs individual counseling, he needs to work on why he is a piece of garbage and can’t honor his vows for more than 3 weeks (and I doubt highly he was being a great husband those three weeks either, there had to be flirting going on). He needs to do a lot of work to understand what he’s done to YOU. And you need to do NOTHING to help him with that. No.thing. And tell me, did he quit his job or does he get to go see her every day?

You should only be concerned at this point with why you would want to stay with a guy who does this to you at the beginning of your marriage. You should see your own individual counselor and work on yourself, think about why you think you deserve this kind of husband. To even consider taking him back before he has done his own work by himself is completely foolish on your part. And the fact you are behaving like any discomfort he feels is punishment... is ludicrous. Do not have sex with the traitor!


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Bdar2021 said:


> I have thought about what both of you are saying, and have already reached out to a divorce attorney. Divorce is not off the table, but I have agreed to attempt marriage counseling and try to move past this hurt. Prior to being cheated on I always said I would leave immediately, but things change. Please respect my inquiry about how to try and move on from the affair and cope with the infidelity while trying to put our best foot forward to heal as completely as we can. Please no more comments about how quickly the affair happened or how it doesn’t bode well. I already have all of these thoughts.


Most all marriage counselors do not have the right tools or mindset to deal with infidelity. Cheating has nothing to do with your marriage, it has everything to do with your husband, by himself. You both need individual counseling. He is not a safe partner for you until he gets his own help for many many months. You don’t counsel a marriage for an issue that is his alone.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

In the years that you were together prior to marriage, did he ever cheat? 

Why would he cheat when you two were Honeymooners? That doesn't look good at all. I think he is doing damage control right now. Start dating him if you want, but don't trust that he will not do this again. Dating again by no way means exclusivity in your case and here is why:

You two should be blissfully married. You haven't even been married a year. Most problems in marriage start around year 7. The infamous 7 year itch is what it has been coined as. 

Your relationship if he didn't cheat before lasted 5 years and three weeks. A marriage license didn't stop him from breaking his vows to you three weeks after he professed them.

He is not marriage material woman. That needs to sink in. I have a distinct feeling he has cheated on you before this. You were simply not aware of it. He needs to come completely clean. His behavior doesn't add up.

If you need physical release, please end this sham of a marriage and date others to get your needs met. Your so called husband has been proven unreliable, dishonorable, and completely disloyal. 

Set yourself free and move on ASAP!


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Bdar2021 said:


> I have thought about what both of you are saying, and have already reached out to a divorce attorney. Divorce is not off the table, but I have agreed to attempt marriage counseling and try to move past this hurt. Prior to being cheated on I always said I would leave immediately, but things change. Please respect my inquiry about how to try and move on from the affair and cope with the infidelity while trying to put our best foot forward to heal as completely as we can. Please no more comments about how quickly the affair happened or how it doesn’t bode well. I already have all of these thoughts.


You are reeling from the betrayal. You are in shock and fix it mode. This will back fire on you. You can't fix what YOU didn't break. You are the betrayed partner. The shock takes time to wear off and the ugly reality to sink in. You behavior is very normal, but it's working against you right now. We call this rug sweeping around here. It won't work dear. You will do all the heavy lifting while he gets away with a slap of the wrists.

He will disrespect you even further if you rug sweep this like if it was nothing. With his betrayal, he literally blew up an atomic bomb in the middle of you two. That is how damn toxic his infidelity is. A slap on the wrist is nonsense. He turned the love you gave him into Ground Zero!

Wake up please!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

You're wasting your time.

He isn't marriage material....didn't even stop until he got caught. Assuming he actually did stop.

He had character issues. Get out now before you waste any more years of your life.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Bdar2021 said:


> I have thought about what both of you are saying, and have already reached out to a divorce attorney. Divorce is not off the table, but I have agreed to attempt marriage counseling and try to move past this hurt. Prior to being cheated on I always said I would leave immediately, but things change. Please respect my inquiry about how to try and move on from the affair and cope with the infidelity while trying to put our best foot forward to heal as completely as we can. Please no more comments about how quickly the affair happened or how it doesn’t bode well. I already have all of these thoughts.


Bdar, I don't think you've thought things through enough. Has he cheated before? You seem way too cavalier about this. Something is genuinely wrong with a person who could do this in a new marriage, you two should be all about each other right now.

If you're deadset to reconcile no matter what, well, you're a big girl. I guess we'll see you here the next time he does this. Good luck.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Give him a year to make amends. 

Don't let him know you have a timeline.

That is way more than fair.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I am taking you at your word that you want help to "fix" this. 



Bdar2021 said:


> He has given me a true apology


How do you judge that it's a true apology?



> I want to try and move on and start the healing process.


How do you believe that works?



> I don’t want him to think I’m forgiving him or that we have resolved any issues.


Tell him that. 



> I’m a sexual person and want to have my husband there to meet my needs and have some kind of experience intimacy, I just don’t know how much how quickly is beneficial versus harmful.


_This is not the important question. _Don't think in terms of "punishing" him. The question is, how will you know if he has learned something? That he is now a different person?



> I want to have some kind of connection so we don’t lose the desire for each other, but I also don’t want to “reward” him after having this affair.


How long ago did you find out? A few days? I suspect that you might be still in the initial shock stage, and have hardly started to process this. You need his help in processing it, if that's what you want to do. As others have said, that's your choice. 



> I just want to start doing the most beneficial thing that we can do now, while we await counseling.


What books are you reading?

I don't know enough about your relationship dynamics to know what will be most beneficial. 
Take the focus off the question of whether to have sex or not. 

Oh, and has he had an STD test?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

I’ve heard of the 7 year itch but never the 7 month. What a dirtbag.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Mr.Married said:


> I’ve heard of the 7 year itch but never the 7 month. What a dirtbag.


Seven day itch more like it.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

He is that Seventh Day take Advantage-ist.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

Eventually, you will have to get to a place of forgiveness. Sometimes it takes years and countless hours of therapy and sometimes people throw in the towel after awhile. You will probably be in the angry and hurt phase for awhile and seeing him everyday won't speed up your ability to recover any. 

Assuming you don't have kids together and you still want to try and see if this can work, take children off the table for a couple years. It will take atleast that long to figure out if you have a future with him or not. I can't tell you what works, because I'm one of the ones that couldn't get past it. I can tell you what not to do. And too many people I know go down this route, unfortunately.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> I’ve heard of the 7 year itch but never the 7 month. What a dirtbag.


Or the 3 week!


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

The time to heal from infidelity is measured in_ years_. And that is for those that can heal while still in a relationship with their betrayer. Which isn't everyone. Many find they cannot get past it, even once they've forgiven they don't forget, and leave. Reconciling from infidelity will require a lot of effort and energy. Especially as he is statistically likely to cheat again in the future when you may have assets and children involved. Do you really want to invest in a very short marriage that experienced infidelity while the state was still filing the marriage certificate?


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## Irish Man (May 10, 2021)

Sticking just to how you can fix things my thoughts are...

firstly, you clearly want your marriage to work so I am assuming you want to forgive him and restart your marriage. If that is what you want I really see no advantage in prolonging your pain and delaying reconciliation. I think you should have a really honest talk with him. Tell him how hurt and betrayed your are and Tell him you want to forgive him and that you need to learn to trust him and if it ever happens again that your marriage is over. You need to hear from him that he loves you and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. If you believe him and feel his remorse then the sooner you two can get back to trying to love each other the sooner you can move forward. I really don’t know if I could forgive my wife as you appear to be able to forgive your husband (I admire you for this) but I am guessing sex is going to be quite difficult initially. You should definitely do this on your terms and I would make him wait a bit of time. If he can stay without sex then I think that would be a positive sign.

Do you know why he had an affair. I would think it unusual to have an affair so soon after getting married. I am not trying to make excuses for him but could the realism he just got married and is going to be with the same woman for the rest of his life have scared him? Maybe he has got this out of his system and is now ready to settle down? As I said I am not trying to make excuses for him but if you are hell bent of moving forward then I think you need to look at the positives and not the negatives.

best of luck with whatever you do, I hope it works out for you


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

MJJEAN said:


> The time to heal from infidelity is measured in_ years_. And that is for those that can heal while still in a relationship with their betrayer. Which isn't everyone. Many find they cannot get past it, even once they've forgiven they don't forget, and leave. Reconciling from infidelity will require a lot of effort and energy. Especially as he is statistically likely to cheat again in the future when you may have assets and children involved. Do you really want to invest in a very short marriage that experienced infidelity while the state was still filing the marriage certificate?


True ...True....and True. It’s like looking into a crystal ball.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm a bit afraid that OP has given up on us. Perhaps we mistook her willingness to reconcile marriage as an invitation to trespass her stated boundary. reconciliation includes forgiving him. Sooner or later it has to be done. It has to be done without reservation or caveat. It is a lot to ask of any human. I haven't done it.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> I'm a bit afraid that OP has given up on us. Perhaps we mistook her willingness to reconcile marriage as an invitation to trespass her stated boundary. reconciliation includes forgiving him. Sooner or later it has to be done. It has to be done without reservation or caveat. It is a lot to ask of any human. I haven't done it.


Maybe. But it's our duty to speak up anyway. It would be more cruel not to speak up, knowing what is involved and the miserable journey ahead which has a very good chance of being for nothing.

This really hit me in the feels, b/c I was like Bdar in wanting to forgive and remake a life. I didn't want to give up, and it took a minute to realize it didn't matter what I wanted, only what was. 

Bdar, if you are here, please take some time to go through the site and read some of our stories. Your husband's cheating is not within your power to fix and not about you, this is his responsibility. He needs to own his actions and fix/accept himself and only then, MAYBE try to win you back if you are still amenable.


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## Rushwater (Feb 11, 2013)

Bdar2021 said:


> I have thought about what both of you are saying, and have already reached out to a divorce attorney. Divorce is not off the table, but I have agreed to attempt marriage counseling and try to move past this hurt. Prior to being cheated on I always said I would leave immediately, but things change. Please respect my inquiry about how to try and move on from the affair and cope with the infidelity while trying to put our best foot forward to heal as completely as we can. Please no more comments about how quickly the affair happened or how it doesn’t bode well. I already have all of these thoughts.


I get it. You want advice/opinions about how to go about reconciliation after your POS husband cheated on you 3 weeks into marriage. And I also get that you do not want people to tell you that wanting to stay with him is a monumental mistake, rather than giving you validation for wanting to forgive him. Problem is, you have a plethora of experienced people, on this forum, whom see the abyss of danger that you face, trying to remain with this man. We get it: you love him. Problem is, he does NOT love you. Men who are in love do not cheat. Men who are SANE do not cheat 3 weeks into marriage. Many of us, here on TAM, understand that if he is crazy, and thoughtless enough to cheat only 3 weeks into your marriage, then NOTHING is off the table. He has no boundaries. It's insanity, is what it is!

See, the problem with reconciliation, is that if he does not SERIOUSLY feel the circumstances of his cheating, as sure as the sun rises, HE WILL DO IT AGAIN! Oh, I know. You probably are thinking, but my husband is "different" and our situation is "special". No, it's not. 

I'm sure that I can speak for most people, here on TAM, when I say, that everyone wants to give you good, practical and sincere advice that will best help YOU! 
1) best thing for you, long term, is divorce
2) if you MUST reconcile, there must be dramatic consequences for his actions. And RECONCILIATION is 100% his job/responsibility, not yours. Everytime that you have sex with him, you are telling him that his cheating was okie dokie with you and that he can do it again and you will still be there for him. Everytime that you have sex with him, you are exposing yourself to the possibility of contracting an STD.

Speaking of which, have you had an STD test yet? You should. Do you have children with this man? If not, you need to seriously consider what your situation will look like 2 or 3 years down the line, when you do have children, and you come to find out that your POS husband has had multiple affairs and now you really are looking at divorce BUT, you have to share custody of your children. Not just with POS hubby, but also, possibly, with his affair partner. How does that sound? 

I feel terrible for you that you are going through this as you do not deserve it. I hope that you shake this rat from your neck and find a man that will truly treasure you! There are men out there that would put you up on a pedestal and cherish you and NEVER cheat.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Bdar2021 said:


> I have thought about what both of you are saying, and have already reached out to a divorce attorney. Divorce is not off the table, but I have agreed to attempt marriage counseling and try to move past this hurt. Prior to being cheated on I always said I would leave immediately, but things change. Please respect my inquiry about how to try and move on from the affair and cope with the infidelity while trying to put our best foot forward to heal as completely as we can. Please no more comments about how quickly the affair happened or how it doesn’t bode well. I already have all of these thoughts.


As others have mentioned it is your husband who has to put in the hard yards to re earn your trust. For those who I have seen reconcile, the wayward spouse sacrifices their freedom and privacy over the course of years, full access to their personal records, conversations, social media, emails, bank account, etc etc. That's what it means to be sorry and to show a commitment for reconciliation - whatever it takes. In your situation you should also investigate possible infidelity over the course of 5 years, as considering his character, it is highly likely you only know the tip of the iceberg. Even then, at the best case scenario, trust can never be 100% ever again and for many this is enough for many marriages to give up on reconciliation years down the track after discovering an affair.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Bdar2021 said:


> My husband and I have been married for 7 months, and together for 5 years. I just found out that my husband started an emotional affair with a much younger coworker and it became sexual. This affair started 3 weeks after our wedding and has been ongoing for the entire duration of our 7 month marriage. I am incredibly hurt, shocked, but love him and want to try and make it work. He is ashamed, and trying to put the work in by reading books, listening to podcasts, and finding a marriage counselor. He has blocked this girl from his contacts/social media etc. He has given me a true apology, and after staying at his dads house for 3 days came home and stayed in the guest bedroom. I feel very alone, and believe that he is sorry and I want to try and move on and start the healing process. I don’t want to hurt our chances of reconnecting by continuing to punish him by having him sleep elsewhere, or not hug or kiss me. But I don’t want him to think I’m forgiving him or that we have resolved any issues. I don’t want to give him an easy way out, but by prolonging punishing him I know I’m hurting myself as well. I’m a sexual person and want to have my husband there to meet my needs and have some kind of experience intimacy, I just don’t know how much how quickly is beneficial versus harmful. I want to have some kind of connection so we don’t lose the desire for each other, but I also don’t want to “reward” him after having this affair. We are on several counselor waiting lists now, but probably not able to get into an office for several more weeks. I just want to start doing the most beneficial thing that we can do now, while we await counseling.


Two things:

1) If he's still working with her then they're still sleeping together.

Rule #1 of reconciliation is ending any and all contact with the affair partner going forward.

2) He's not ashamed. He's just dancing for you right now, and odds are he's learning all he can to help him take the affair further underground. You'll find out more in the days and weeks ahead; for example, this probably wasn't his first affair.

Stay vigilant.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

OP may have moved on, but if you can accept your partner's misdeeds, what's the problem? He promised to never do it again. If that's acceptable to you, you don't need anyone else's approval.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

It is a lot. The guy is lucky she is even willing to try.


Sfort said:


> OP may have moved on, but if you can accept your partner's misdeeds, what's the problem? He promised to never do it again. If that's acceptable to you, you don't need anyone else's approval.


Very true, it always comes down to what you can personally live with.

I'm sure there's some missing backstory here. Married 7 months but dated for 5yrs. I'm all for vetting and 2-3 years wouldn't raise an eyebrow. But to date that long and cheat that soon.......something smells in Denmark. I think that's what has the comment section riled up.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Bdar2021 said:


> My husband and I have been married for 7 months, and together for 5 years. I just found out that my husband started an emotional affair with a much younger coworker and it became sexual. This affair started 3 weeks after our wedding and has been ongoing for the entire duration of our 7 month marriage. I am incredibly hurt, shocked, but love him and want to try and make it work. He is ashamed, and trying to put the work in by reading books, listening to podcasts, and finding a marriage counselor. He has blocked this girl from his contacts/social media etc. He has given me a true apology, and after staying at his dads house for 3 days came home and stayed in the guest bedroom. I feel very alone, and believe that he is sorry and I want to try and move on and start the healing process. I don’t want to hurt our chances of reconnecting by continuing to punish him by having him sleep elsewhere, or not hug or kiss me. But I don’t want him to think I’m forgiving him or that we have resolved any issues. I don’t want to give him an easy way out, but by prolonging punishing him I know I’m hurting myself as well. I’m a sexual person and want to have my husband there to meet my needs and have some kind of experience intimacy, I just don’t know how much how quickly is beneficial versus harmful. I want to have some kind of connection so we don’t lose the desire for each other, but I also don’t want to “reward” him after having this affair. We are on several counselor waiting lists now, but probably not able to get into an office for several more weeks. I just want to start doing the most beneficial thing that we can do now, while we await counseling.


@Bdar2021 so sorry you are here. You are not even married a year and your WH does this. You are young, it's a new marriage. Please run now! Go see a lawyer and divorce him. No more chances. A man who can do this when you are just newly married and in the honeymoon period will definitely do it when you are older, have kids, responsibilities, etc. Your WH is not marriage material. Please do not set yourself up for a lifetime of misery.
Your sex life is not a priority right now. Do NOT have sex with this man, (it will only be hysterical bonding). You are going through a trauma right now.
He needs to move out completely, loneliness and pain now is nothing compared to when you are in your 30s with kids, a mortgage and he does this again. GET OUT NOW!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Bdar2021 said:


> I have thought about what both of you are saying, and have already reached out to a divorce attorney. Divorce is not off the table, but I have agreed to attempt marriage counseling and try to move past this hurt. Prior to being cheated on I always said I would leave immediately, but things change. Please respect my inquiry about how to try and move on from the affair and cope with the infidelity while trying to put our best foot forward to heal as completely as we can. Please no more comments about how quickly the affair happened or how it doesn’t bode well. I already have all of these thoughts.


Do not waste your time on MC (your WH does not deserve that level of committment from you). Use the money for IC to help your navigate through this trauma and build yourself up to be a person who will never want to be in a relationship with a man (child) like your WH. Invest in yourself. Get the divorce papers and run.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Sfort said:


> OP may have moved on, but if you can accept your partner's misdeeds, what's the problem? He promised to never do it again. If that's acceptable to you, you don't need anyone else's approval.


I think OP wants some advice on how to remove those pesky emotions like pain, distrust and sadness while still keeping the cheater husband.

I guess we should have referred her to one of the many snake oil fraud websites that promise a new and improved marriage and a repentant and adoring RECOVERED cheater all for the low price of $1999.99 in three equal installments. You too can have a better than ever marriage that you never dreamed possible if you just make this once in a lifetime investment! (_huge smile and gleaming teeth)_ Easy AND painless! 👍


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

In between boinking him back into submission (because you have needs), I hear catsup makes the crap sandwich tastier.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Bdar2021 said:


> Please respect my inquiry about how to try and move on from the affair and cope with the infidelity while trying to put our best foot forward to heal as completely as we can. Please no more comments about how quickly the affair happened or how it doesn’t bode well. I


I guess the only advice I can give at this point is to get used to it. Cheaters tend to have a high rate of recidivism.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Two things:
> 
> 1) If he's still working with her then they're still sleeping together.
> 
> ...


Beat me to it.


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## Trustless Marriage (Mar 1, 2021)

This guy is not marriage material. He has zero excuses - you just got married!!! That shows that he only thinks of himself. He is only sorry he got caught. Zero respect for you after only 3 weeks into the marriage he is off with another woman. Dump him.


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