# Wife Cheated on me



## Kain68 (Apr 22, 2013)

Early back in January I found evidence that my wife was cheating on me. I found this in the form of emails from an ad she opened up on Craigslist saying she was looking for a f$ckbuddy because her current casual just got a girlfriend. I talked to my pastor and we confronted her together. She said she didn't cheat, but she was just about to that night. She said the reason why she did it was because I am not adventuresome in bed. She stated that she wants multiple partners and would like me to have a threesome. 

She told me she would stop talking to the guys and pull the ad and talk to our pastor for further guidance. She went to the pastor and talked to him next week, that night she came home and told me that she hasn't been honest that she cheated on me with a guy at work. Some background here, I work during the day. She works at night at McDonalds. We have 2 kids, one 3 and the other 4, she works this way so we don't have to pay daycare. After she told me she had an affair she said it wouldn't happen again and she was going to seek counseling. After this she started having sex with me 3-4 times a day for almost 2-3 weeks. I also started staying up nights waiting for her until she gets home from work (anywhere from 1-3AM)

I started seeing a therapist and she started seeing a therapist. Then one day out of the blue I get a text "Good thing I didn't kiss you, someone from our church just walked by". I was at work and just went home and confronted her. She said she meant to send that to this other guy that she had cheated on me with. She said she would like to keep me and her family and have this guy on the side. I told her that it cannot go on like that. She said she would stop. Then pretty much the sex stopped with me. I noticed that she started coming home a bit later, she always has an excuse. Slow managers or she was talking to one of the girls at work. I have noticed that she is also texting and keeping her phone covered. I looked on Verizon's website and see her texting someone constantly. I googled the number and it is the same guy that she cheated on me with. He posted it on an online dating profile. I have also seen her phone when she leaves it lying around. And I have seen the texts and they are not just friendly texts.

Should I just kick her out? Should I tell her that I know she is texts and tell her she needs to cut off all contact with this guy?


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Kain68 said:


> Early back in January I found evidence that my wife was cheating on me. I found this in the form of emails from an ad she opened up on Craigslist saying she was looking for a f$ckbuddy because her current casual just got a girlfriend. I talked to my pastor and we confronted her together. She said she didn't cheat, but she was just about to that night. She said the reason why she did it was because I am not adventuresome in bed. She stated that she wants multiple partners and would like me to have a threesome.
> 
> She told me she would stop talking to the guys and pull the ad and talk to our pastor for further guidance. She went to the pastor and talked to him next week, that night she came home and told me that she hasn't been honest that she cheated on me with a guy at work. Some background here, I work during the day. She works at night at McDonalds. We have 2 kids, one 3 and the other 4, she works this way so we don't have to pay daycare. After she told me she had an affair she said it wouldn't happen again and she was going to seek counseling. After this she started having sex with me 3-4 times a day for almost 2-3 weeks. I also started staying up nights waiting for her until she gets home from work (anywhere from 1-3AM)
> 
> ...


Time for divorce. You need to do DNA on your kids ASAP. It could save you a fortune in CS down the road. You've got a serial adulteress on your hands. I take it you were not her first.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

She already knows you know she is texting thats why she isn't gaurding her phone.

You already told her to stop all contact with that guy and yet she continues.

So, what do you think will chnage if you keeping doing the same thing over and over again? 

My point is bad behavior continues with out consequences, ask her to leave and and you will straighten out custody during the divorce.


What your doing is by its own deffinition "insane".....doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.


In short you confront over and over again and you keep expecting her to stop.

Do you see the coillition between what a insane person would do vesus what you are doing?


Kick her out!!!!!!!!


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

File for divorce. DNA the kids. There is a strong chance they do not belong to you. Your wife is a serial cheater. Serial cheater have serious mental problems and do not change into "the good little wife and mother" over night. She is addicted to this behavior and will not change.

Do not listen to her promises of stopping, she is telling lies. She has told you one truth - she wants multiple men. She will get what she wants one way or the other. Sorry man but you did not marry a keeper. Throw this one back in the pond.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You are not see what I am seeing and that is your wife knows you want to work it out so bad that you will let her get away with any thing.

Until she sees you can actually let her go and have the confidence to move she will continue to disrespect you. Dude she has your number and you aren;t going any were so why should she change?


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## stevehowefan (Apr 3, 2013)

Run, RUN quickly. There are those here with more experience with infidelity than I, but they will likely say the same thing. Bless your heart, bro. She's a cake eater.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

My speeling ight suck but I have been here long enough to see this kind of crap time and again.

Until you show her confident you are running this family with out her then she will continue to manipulate your for her own wants and not the wants of her family.

If she had any concern for the family should stop putting her kids father in danger of catching and STD.

She would be putting her family in danger of some guy going wacko and coming into your home to cause harm.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Yep
Sorry you are in this pickle. No one deserves to be treated like this. Like garbage. She *might* love you. But it's not enough for her. It's never going to be enough. 

Let her go. If you don't she is eventually going to pick up an STD and pass it on to you. If you're lucky it won't be life threatening. Can you afford to gamble on that? 

Will your kids do okay with both of you sick. And I'm just addressing the health aspect. You have that and a lot more to worry about. 

She has probably been hooking up with lots of guys. I'm sure she had a boyfriend before she found this one. And it's probably been going on for a long time. 

Get an STD test and a divorce petition. Don't say anything else to her until you see a lawyer and secure your finances.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Our family has alot more to lose the a mother and a wife, your kids are getting a poor example of a mother everytime she bring some guy home while your at work.

And believe...go plant a VAR (voice active recorder) in your bed room and you will hear that what I am saying is true.

Again if you want that this women is no longer the women you married, then Plant another VAR under her car seat....get some velcrow tape and tape it under her car set and soon you will hear what this women has now become and the leave of disrespect she has for you and her kids.

You no longer know this women and what she iss telling is only half of what is realy going so please plant the spy gear and fide the real fact on what your wife has turned into and the uhealthy life style she is getting involved with......you won;t like what you hear and even more scary is the fact that this life style she is currently in is a danger to you and your kids.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Did she send you that text by accident or on purpose? Either way she has zero respect for you.

She must be taught that actions have consequences. She has had numerous chances to fix herself.

Now she learns the hard lessons. Out her to family and everyone at church and friends, too.

Get yourself STD tests and also get DNA tests done on the children.

Not necessarily to test their DNA but to indicate to your wife that she has totally ruined all and every aspect of your marriage, even down to the births of your children.

File for divorce, if only to get her attention. And legally go after the OM and out them, too.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

What church do you go to that looks the other way when a woman wants to have an open marriage? 

My advice? Find a new wife and find a new church. Your church seems to suck. (speaking as a church leader)


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If you want to save this for your young family, then the 1st thing you need to is let her go.

Letting her go will be the best consequence she could face for her bad, dangerous and unhealthy choices.

Letting her just might get her to turn a corner, but it will take a while for her to learn the tools to have a emotionally healthy life.

Once as an individual she can learn these tools and aply them then maybe down the road she can save her family.

She has to save her self first and she won;t see this until some real consequences are implimented.

Confronting her over and over again has to be getting old so stop talking and start taking action.

Find that self respect back and start showing your kids a happy father that no longer gets disrspected...they diseve a better example form there father.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

It looks like all the veterans are on board.

So as you can see I am not the only one with this view point!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

sandc said:


> What church do you go to that looks the other way when a woman wants to have an open marriage?
> 
> My advice? Find a new wife and find a new church. Your church seems to suck. (speaking as a church leader)


I don;t think the church or the IC have a clue...this women is an accomplished lier. Must likely she is sing the same song all waywards sing and thats that there spouse neglect them. I highly doubt she is admitting to her own dangerous choice but blaming everything on some one else and that some one is Klain68!


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

She cares for nothing except sex. That is it.

And no care for who, when or where.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

MattMatt said:


> Not necessarily to test their DNA but to indicate to your wife that she has totally ruined all and every aspect of your marriage, even down to the births of your children.
> 
> File for divorce, if only to get her attention. And legally go after the OM and out them, too.


Yes another consequence for her behavior in doubting her childrens father.

Even the STD test is also a good consequences with regard to how clean you think your wife is now.

Remember filing a divorce is not the same as finalizing a divorce.

So for the sake of your young family the 5 most important consequences that will pull her out of this dangerous fog is asking her to leave, file for divorce, demanding a STD test, demanding a DNA test, and exposing her behavior to family.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Call up friends and family and get busy exposing her very very deliberate choice to cheat on you over and over. Make sure to notify the pastor as well.

Then see a lawyer and divorce her.

Find out if the guy at the number has a wife, if do call her and expose the clearing to her.

Get the kids DNA tested, because your wife as been doing this for a long time.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

the guy said:


> It looks like all the veterans are on board.
> 
> So as you can see I am not the only one with this view point!


Yep. Even me, Mr Reconciliation. can see that the D bomb needs to be dropped to put a hole in the deck of the MV Princess Cheater.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

No hope here.
Divorce her.
STD test.
DNA the kids.
Complete exposure.


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Yep. Even me, Mr Reconciliation. can see that the D bomb needs to be dropped to put a hole in the deck of the MV Princess Cheater.


This actually makes me hurt. I'm also a big fan of reconciliation, but dude! This women is brazen! She's not in the fog, she burns the fog right off. Give her the boot. And I'd go for distance not hang time.


/I never thought I'd consider myself lucky, but stuff like this makes me want to hug my wife.


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## Fleur de Cactus (Apr 6, 2013)

Sorry to hear about your situation. Listen to what others said. she is not a good wife for you. You do not want to leave her or kick her out, however she does not care about your love or feelings. Better to divorce her because, if you don't , one day she will leave you anyway.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Kain68 said:


> Early back in January I found evidence that my wife was cheating on me. I found this in the form of emails from an ad she opened up on Craigslist saying she was looking for a f$ckbuddy because her current casual just got a girlfriend. I talked to my pastor and we confronted her together. She said she didn't cheat, but she was just about to that night. She said the reason why she did it was because I am not adventuresome in bed. She stated that she wants multiple partners and would like me to have a threesome.
> 
> She told me she would stop talking to the guys and pull the ad and talk to our pastor for further guidance. She went to the pastor and talked to him next week, that night she came home and told me that she hasn't been honest that she cheated on me with a guy at work. Some background here, I work during the day. She works at night at McDonalds. We have 2 kids, one 3 and the other 4, she works this way so we don't have to pay daycare. After she told me she had an affair she said it wouldn't happen again and she was going to seek counseling. After this she started having sex with me 3-4 times a day for almost 2-3 weeks. I also started staying up nights waiting for her until she gets home from work (anywhere from 1-3AM)
> 
> ...


Run.

Dear Penthouse.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Man, I feel for you. 

I'm sorry you are going through this shetstorm of emotions.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Kain68 said:


> Should I just kick her out? Should I tell her that I know she is texts and tell her she needs to cut off all contact with this guy?


If you don't kick her out then there's something really wrong with you.

She has serious issues that are not going to go away.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Is the original post believable?


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## Kain68 (Apr 22, 2013)

Thanks everyone for the responses and advice. Yes this is all too real. To give you some further background in this, yes I have had an STD test. I have never asked for a paternity test just because I can trace back when both kids were conceived. We have been married for 7 years and I still love her. I know this is just stupid when I look at what she has done.

I have contacted an attorney. I had the consultation with the attorney but he told me there is a $5000 retainer. I don't have $5000 lying around. So I contacted 2 other attorneys, both have told me the same thing, $5000 retainer to even start the case. My finances are not in the best shape and we are barely scraping by with both of us working. My brother told me that he would give me the money, but he had a family emergency come up and he will not be able to give me the money now. I have checked with other members of my side of the family and none of them have $5000 lying around. Because of this I feel stuck, I know legally I cannot kick her out. So I have done nothing.

The other guy is not married, he lives at home with his grandparents. He doesn't have a car. He works at McDonalds and only makes $150/wk because the rest is taken by child support payments.

Our church does not condone the infidelity. I would say her behavior has changed recently over the last half year. She used to go to church every weekend and is on many of the committees. Recently when the pastor checked up on her progress, she told him that she doesn't believe in anything at the church she only goes there to sing the hymns and talk to the people. The pastor was shocked by this. So she still goes to church every weekend, but I cannot figure out why it seems like a waste of time if you ask me. She always complains that she works late and gets no sleep. Why would you then go and do something that you do not believe in. She has stated that she is thinking about becoming a Buddhist.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

With no or few assets you don't need an atty. Go online and google your state+divorce petition. You will likely find forms available on line so that you can execute a DIY divorce for less that $500.


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## Kain68 (Apr 22, 2013)

The 2 kids is what makes it expensive. She wants custody. I don't want her to have custody. The $500 is for no contest divorce where you agree on basically everything.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

She can't afford a lawyer working at MacDonald's. There are a lot of underemployed lawyers. There must be someone cheaper.


Kain68 said:


> The 2 kids is what makes it expensive. She wants custody. I don't want her to have custody. The $500 is for no contest divorce where you agree on basically everything.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Your thread infuriates me! Maybe because it hits home...grrrr

She is a total cake eater. You cannot believe a word she says.

I don't know what to say other than, take your losses and RUN! Run far far away and take your kids with you!


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## Kain68 (Apr 22, 2013)

For some reason I think it is because of the state that we live in. Everyone I talk to from other states in similar situations had to come up with $1500 - $2000. Lawyers in Connecticut must think that everybody in the state is rich.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Kain68 said:


> The other guy is not married, he lives at home with his grandparents. He doesn't have a car. He works at McDonalds and only makes $150/wk because the rest is taken by child support payments.


Let her have him. Hilarious


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Even if you have to get a loan for 5,000 do it


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## Kain68 (Apr 22, 2013)

somethingelse said:


> Let her have him. Hilarious



She even stated that she knows that he has nothing to offer her and yet she wants him. I would like to tell her to hit the curb and they can live out their White Trash Fantasy together. Maybe if they are really lucky they can be featured on Jerry Springer.

As far as the loan, I have applied and been denied. The only people I know that would have the money would be people on her side of the family. But I couldn't go and ask them for money for a divorce.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Kain68 said:


> She even stated that she knows that he has nothing to offer her and yet she wants him. I would like to tell her to hit the curb and they can live out their White Trash Fantasy together. Maybe if they are really lucky they can be featured on Jerry Springer.
> 
> As far as the loan, I have applied and been denied. The only people I know that would have the money would be people on her side of the family. But I couldn't go and ask them for money for a divorce.


Can you get legal aid to help you? In Canada they help you with payments and make it super cheap for you to have a lawyer depending on what you make.

If I was in your position right now, I would seriously kick her out, and tell her to sleep in the bed she's made for herself. But do not let her take the children. You keep the kids. You're far more stable. She might even allow you to keep them anyway, because it will free her time up for this loser she's seeing. And at this point, the kids are free game until an agreement is made legally.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

You are right to be very concerned about her having custody.

A person who lives the way she lives is by definition a terrible mother. The children will have to live with their mother's actions for the rest of their lives.

Have you seen what her reaction to exposure is?

Many women are terrified of having their reputations destroyed and fear exposure in the community. You could get her to sign on to custody terms that are favorable to you if you threaten exposure.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Scrap the money away dude. A little at a time and don't let her find it. It may take some time, but well worth it to be away from her!


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Kain68 said:


> For some reason I think it is because of the state that we live in. Everyone I talk to from other states in similar situations had to come up with $1500 - $2000. Lawyers in Connecticut must think that everybody in the state is rich.


HAHA, I got divorced in CT as well.

You can still do the divorce yourself. Here are some good and bad things about connecticut.

1. The infidelity is meaningless, don't even bother bringing it up unless you can SOMEHOW prove it makes her a bad mother (such as her doing drugs with OM and you can PROVE that).
2. 90% of the time, the courts will follow this model. Joint custody with 50/50 time. If you have a stable environment for the kids and she does. You'll split your time and have joint custody. It takes a major issue or one person giving that up for a different result.
3. Child support. It's a simple formula. What you make and what she makes gets plugged in and it spits out a number. There's no arguing that number. It is what it is.
4. Alimony...this is the ONLY area that could be gotten. But given what you say your finances are, I wouldn't worry about it. The judge probably won't award it. But you say you've been married 7 years....after 7 in CT is when it can get tricky. Don't take ANY alimony if you can avoid it, even $1. That's a trick attorneys will do. If they can get even $1 alimony, than that allows the spouse to modify later if your earnings change.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

What about you cutting her off financially and refusing to include her in family activities?
Do not talk to her, move her clothes to another room after you throw out any lingerie etc she wears for him. 
In fact try packing her things in garbage bags and drop them off at the OMs place. 

As for kids why shouldn't you get 100% custody since she is a unfit mother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stevehowefan (Apr 3, 2013)

Might she be into drugs? She has a few signs of it, honestly.


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## Kain68 (Apr 22, 2013)

Dad&Hubby said:


> HAHA, I got divorced in CT as well.
> 
> You can still do the divorce yourself. Here are some good and bad things about connecticut.
> 
> ...



When I did talk to the attorney he said that since we have a boy and a girl, they will each have to have a room so any place would need to be a 3 bedroom house/apartment. We now live in a 3 bedroom home that we are renting. But if we were not together there is no way that she could afford something like that as a McDonalds crew member. The attorney that I talked to also made it sound like the custody would most likely end up with me getting primary custody and she would get 1 night a week and every other weekend. I did talk to her about an arrangement like that but she only wants equal split if we are to get a divorce. She stated "I don't want to be a part time parent".


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## Kain68 (Apr 22, 2013)

stevehowefan said:


> Might she be into drugs? She has a few signs of it, honestly.


I don't believe it is drugs. May be more of a midlife crisis and/or a personality disorder.


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## Doyle (Mar 6, 2013)

No problem with being a part time wife though.


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## Paulination (Feb 6, 2012)

Kain68 said:


> She stated "I don't want to be a part time parent".


But it is OK to be a fulltime *****? Too bad. No one should be locked into this situation. It sounds like your financial situation is fairly simple. File for divorce, go in front of the judge and let the chips fall where they do. You'll probably get the majority of custody, the child support situation will be reasonable and no alimony.

The courts see this all day long and there are formulas for all of this that having an atourney won't help to get around. Your fears of what will happen are much worse then the reality.


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## Kain68 (Apr 22, 2013)

Paulination said:


> But it is OK to be a fulltime *****? Too bad. No one should be locked into this situation. It sounds like your financial situation is fairly simple. File for divorce, go in front of the judge and let the chips fall where they do. You'll probably get the majority of custody, the child support situation will be reasonable and no alimony.
> 
> The courts see this all day long and there are formulas for all of this that having an atourney won't help to get around. Your fears of what will happen are much worse then the reality.


My biggest fear is losing my kids, for any amount of time.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

No judge in his right mind would rule against you in this circumstance. She can't adequately provide for them..end of story.

Throwing out the brazen infidelity she just doesn't have the means to support them. And I'm assuming you do. 

Find a way my friend. Dont let your son and daughter grow up thinking this is the way marriage is supposed to be.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Kain68 said:


> When I did talk to the attorney he said that since we have a boy and a girl, they will each have to have a room so any place would need to be a 3 bedroom house/apartment. We now live in a 3 bedroom home that we are renting. But if we were not together there is no way that she could afford something like that as a McDonalds crew member. The attorney that I talked to also made it sound like the custody would most likely end up with me getting primary custody and she would get 1 night a week and every other weekend. I did talk to her about an arrangement like that but she only wants equal split if we are to get a divorce. She stated "I don't want to be a part time parent".


Stop talking to her, unless you are going to reconcile (defined by having an open marriage).

Start working for you and yours....not her. You have your solution. Take the stance that while you can maintain a proper household for the kids, she's not going to be able to. It may not work, but you can ensure 50% time and custody.

PS the next time she brings up what she wants...tell her "Tough Crap. I'm not going to be married to a ****, I deserve better than what you are as a wife. You've made this bed, now you can sleep in it...with anyone BESIDES me. I'm not taking the kids from you, but I'm in this for me now. We....Are done"


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

You can't make her decisions. She has already told you she will not be faithful. Your choice is open marriage or divorce.


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## Single Malt (May 2, 2013)

Kain68 said:


> Should I just kick her out? Should I tell her that I know she is texts and tell her she needs to cut off all contact with this guy?


I'd kick her out, or more appropriately since you legally can't kick her out, is ask her to leave.


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## Wabash (Jun 11, 2013)

I cannot believe how close this OP is to what's going on in my marriage right now. We had it out (again) last night. I told her that if I'm not man enough for her to be faithful to me, then she needs to end it. 

Brief history, we've been together since 2000 and married since 2002. We have two daughters: 7 & 5. She admitted to an inappropriate online-only relationship in Nov 2012. She said she'd end it. I caught them still talking about leaving their spouses in Jan 2013. We had it out and made some changes. It seems her biggest change was going underground. I found out recently that she's been meeting guys off Craigslist & AdultFriendFinder and having sex with them in their cars. When we had it out this time, she admitted there was one she was fairly regular with and asked me to continue letting her see him. (Okay, I'm getting really angry typing all this out at once). She agreed to cut it off and I warned her that this was it - next time, it's Divorce. Last night I confronted her again - no proof this time, but an accumulation of circumstantial evidence, and she admitted that it wasn't over with him.

I love her. I love our two young daughters. Separating will cause significant pain to them. I told her that if she wants to stay married and agrees to get help, I'll do anything and pay anything to keep our family together, but I won't be a roommate to her. 

I like the part-time wife comments above. 

I work right now, and she just finished going back to school to get her degree and wasn't planning on getting a job until the kids start back to school in the fall, so she has no income right now. 

Bottom line is that I'm done sharing her. I'm done being a doormat. I've already started changing passwords to my accounts (gotta remember all of the password recovery questions too...but she knows all of my history, so I have to make up new answers that aren't true). 

The more I read & write, the more I want to kick her out. I need to dig out a little more information first. I think I have the guy's e-mail address, but I need to make sure it's the right guy.

So glad I found this place and someone else can help me get some clarity.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Wabash said:


> Brief history, we've been together since 2000 and married since 2002. We have two daughters: 7 & 5. She admitted to an inappropriate online-only relationship in Nov 2012. She said she'd end it. I caught them still talking about leaving their spouses in Jan 2013. We had it out and made some changes. It seems her biggest change was going underground. I found out recently that she's been meeting guys off Craigslist & AdultFriendFinder and having sex with them in their cars. When we had it out this time, she admitted there was one she was fairly regular with and asked me to continue letting her see him. (Okay, I'm getting really angry typing all this out at once). She agreed to cut it off and I warned her that this was it - next time, it's Divorce. Last night I confronted her again - no proof this time, but an accumulation of circumstantial evidence, and she admitted that it wasn't over with him.


Seriously dude? Since November?
Please, friend, start your own thread. But this very night pack her bags and send her things to OMs. That's all.
Kick her to the curve, with nothing. And expose her to everyone she cares about at the same time. Shame her.
This night shock'n'awe.
She has plenty of places to go and friend to support her.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

All of her sh*t would be on the curb and the door locks changed. When she comes pounding on the door, I'd ignore her.

If you have nearby family to stay with, take the kids and stay with them for awhile.


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## talin (Apr 25, 2012)

Since you can't afford an attorney and you don't want to try to go about divorcing her and going about it "pro-see" (without an attorney), your options are limited.

See what you can accomplish peacefully. Tell her she can go have the other guy but she can't live in your home while she does that.

Otherwise just do what lots of married people do who won't divorce for a multitude of reasons. Live completely separate lives under one roof until such time as you can get divorced.

Maybe take a more aggressive approach and do things to make life miserable for her. Maybe she'll get fed up with the situation first and give you an uncontested divorce.

When it comes to making her life miserable you can consider some of the advice offered on this thread such as throwing all her stuff out the door, but I caution you about changing the locks which could have legal ramifications. Cover your A$$ before things get ugly- cancel joint cards, set up your own bank accounts, move valuable possessions elsewhere, that sort of thing.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Wabash said:


> I cannot believe how close this OP is to what's going on in my marriage right now. We had it out (again) last night. I told her that if I'm not man enough for her to be faithful to me, then she needs to end it.
> 
> Brief history, we've been together since 2000 and married since 2002. We have two daughters: 7 & 5. She admitted to an inappropriate online-only relationship in Nov 2012. She said she'd end it. I caught them still talking about leaving their spouses in Jan 2013. We had it out and made some changes. It seems her biggest change was going underground. I found out recently that she's been meeting guys off Craigslist & AdultFriendFinder and having sex with them in their cars. When we had it out this time, she admitted there was one she was fairly regular with and asked me to continue letting her see him. (Okay, I'm getting really angry typing all this out at once). She agreed to cut it off and I warned her that this was it - next time, it's Divorce. Last night I confronted her again - no proof this time, but an accumulation of circumstantial evidence, and she admitted that it wasn't over with him.
> 
> ...


You should start your own thread. Others would like to know how your figured out the Craigs List stuff.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

she does not want to be a part time parent!!!!! Well she should have thought of that before she f'd another guy. Get the D going and kick her to the curb.

Have you exposed to her family and your? If not get it done. I hate to tell this the sex 2 or 3 times a days was because her f buddy was not available. If she is telling you she wants a 3 way I would bet it has already happened.

Get checked for STD's right away!


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