# my wife keeps hitting me



## markjohnson (Mar 16, 2014)

my wife gets extreamly angry with me....She keeps hitting me.... on last occassion i was supposed to go to work on a bank holiday. I explained to my boss and said that i can come in however later on in the evening around 7pm. I had planned family day out that day which is to start at 4pm and would last for few hours. Once i said this to my partner she got extreamly angry. She said to the kids that i wont be going with them at all on the family day out.I got realy mad with her and i really shouted at her saying that she is doing this only to hurt me and all because i need to go to work..... she called me bast..., c..t. as...e.. She spat at me..... and all this in front of kids..I got realy mad and told her that she is acting like a spoiled child when it doesent get its own way.... She then punched me with her fists 6 times right in my head and scratched my face with her nails...
I walked out then. I realy dont know what to do. I love my family and my kids are eveything to me..
P.S. she is pregnant at the moment


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Next time call the cops. Then file for an order of protection. Make her move out and get help. You have no reason to allow her to abuse you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Get back in your house. That's your house too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

markjohnson said:


> my wife gets extreamly angry with me....She keeps hitting me.... on last occassion i was supposed to go to work on a bank holiday. I explained to my boss and said that i can come in however later on in the evening around 7pm. I had planned family day out that day which is to start at 4pm and would last for few hours. Once i said this to my partner she got extreamly angry. She said to the kids that i wont be going with them at all on the family day out.I got realy mad with her and i really shouted at her saying that she is doing this only to hurt me and all because i need to go to work..... she called me bast..., c..t. as...e.. She spat at me..... and all this in front of kids..I got realy mad with her and it her own way.... She then punched me with her fists 6 times right in my head and scratched my face with her nails...
> I walked out then. I realy dont know what to do. I love my family and my kids are eveything to me..
> P.S. she is pregnant at the moment


Either get another female to put their hands on her or call the police and press charges. If this is something that keeps happening, it will get worse unless you completely destroy it early on. Once violence is rooted in a relationship, it becomes the norm.


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## markjohnson (Mar 16, 2014)

thanks. I am bk in the house. But also her parents support her and ring and tell me what is wrong with me???..... like she is pregnant and this is ok, kind of a way..... her parents dont see her being in wrong but i dont want to say this to anyoune as it is embarasing.... In her eyes and her parents eyes it is me who is in the wrong because i was shouting at her....Only reason i was shouting is because i was really really mad for her not letting me be with my kids for a few hours before i went to work


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

That is completely unacceptable. There are women who have very bad tempers during pregnancy due to hormones but that is no excuse for bad behavior. She is teaching your children that violence is acceptable. I would sit her down with a relative and explain to her this will never happen again or you will file charges and take the kids. What ever you do ...do not lose your temper or she will turn this on you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## markjohnson (Mar 16, 2014)

this is not the first time this had happened... I never have or will NEVER EVER hit her back..... But i do shout at her. I hold things in me and then i just explode and tell her things... So i am kinda thinking,,,is it my fault a bit because i shout at her.... PS I would never start an argument first. I need to be provoked....


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Next time call the police and file charges. It you did what she did, you would be writing this thread from a jail cell.

I wish to God that someone would tell me where the unwritten law states that a woman can get mad and assault a man and think that just because they can lactate and gestate that gives them the right.

I'm a man and I've been in the position where my first wife got pissed and I was on the receiving end of her wrath and I could have fought back and rearranged her face but knew what the outcome would be. It's inexcusable and you don't have to tolerate it.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Nothing you do warrants hitting. You should not be yelling...but that still doesn't warrant hitting. More to the point ...your children are watching and learning from your two behavior. Is this what you two want to teach them. You need to nip this in the bud now before it turns into something ugly for generations to come.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

I would not confront her alone...if her hormones are out of control then you would best protect yourself by having a third party present .....parent, pastor, friend...ect
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

markjohnson said:


> this is not the first time this had happened... I never have or will NEVER EVER hit her back..... But i do shout at her. I hold things in me and then i just explode and tell her things... So i am kinda thinking,,,is it my fault a bit because i shout at her.... PS I would never start an argument first. I need to be provoked....


Her parents think it is OK for her to assault you. Get your anger under control so you aren't yelling. If she assaults you again you have to get it on the record... Press charges, have the police come out and all. It might look embarrassing for her, she might even have to spend a couple of days in the joint. She'll live, and she will understand that going down the path of physical violence will have repurcussions.


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## markjohnson (Mar 16, 2014)

yes and the worse is for the kids.And I love them more then anything!!!!! She would never ever hit kids and by god neither would I. I would rather die then hit one of my kids. But my wife does hit me and worse is it is right in front of them......i dont want to leave her as that means i dont see my kids and i dont tuck them to bed and say goodnite to them.I love seing my kids every day and if i didnt see them every day that would just crush me. Also my wife is pregnant and i dont want to leave her as she is pregnant. I think it would be really bad thing to do to leave my pregnant wife........


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

markjohnson said:


> this is not the first time this had happened... I never have or will NEVER EVER hit her back..... But i do shout at her. *I hold things in me and then i just explode and tell her things...* So i am kinda thinking,,,is it my fault a bit because i shout at her.... PS *I would never start an argument first. I need to be provoked*....


Don't hold things in until you blow up in her face. You need to confront her about things as they happen so they don't all build up at once.

That being said - you did not cause her to hit, name-call or spit on you. She made a CHOICE. She could have walked away. Nobody likes to be yelled at, that's true BUT most people don't start throwing punches at other people, especially their spouses just because they're mad

Secondly, call the cops when she gets violent. Don't get another woman to manhandle her like was earlier suggested - that's not okay either. What she's doing is abusive. Spitting and hitting you and name-calling... what a horrible thing to do in front of the kids - and with another on the way? Wow. 

You can't lean on her parents because:

A) She's probably badmouthed you to them and exaggerated about your negative behaviours.

B) Blood is thicker than water.

C) People - well most people aren't born abusers, they're made. She learned this behaviour from somewhere.


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## markjohnson (Mar 16, 2014)

A and B above are correct. C isnt and i dont know where is she getting this nasty behaviour from. I am just in dead end..........i am sorry i ever got into this relationship. Only thing is that if i hadnt i wouldnt have these wonerfull kidies....


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## wilderness (Jan 9, 2013)

One of the biggest mistakes of my life was not pressing charges against my wife when she punched me with a closed fist. She eventually had me arrested and thrown in jail even though I never hit her. Don't be like me, press charges if she ever does it again.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

She would get good prenatal care in jail. Better than what she is getting outside. A couple of days in the pokie might change her attitude.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

If I were you, from now on while she's pregnant, carry a VAR with you AT ALL TIMES because the chips are stacked against you. First she's a female, strike one. Second, she's pregnant, strike two. Three. The cops for the most part will haul you away if she lies and said you hit her when you didn't. Strike three. I kid you not, you need to protect yourself with a VAR.

Then when you and her are alone, you better let her know that if she ever puts her hands on you again FOR ANY REASON, you will have her arrested and let her know in a way that you mean business. And you better get her in anger management classes because I got news for you. You will wind up in cuffs and in jail even though you did nothing. Take it to the bank. If she refuses to attend, tell her either she takes the classes or you file for divorce. Maybe she'll get the idea and for Christ sake, stop feeling sorry for her. She knows what she's doing. Hormones Schmormones.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

6301 said:


> If I were you, from now on while she's pregnant, carry a VAR with you AT ALL TIMES because the chips are stacked against you. First she's a female, strike one. Second, she's pregnant, strike two. Three. The cops for the most part will haul you away if she lies and said you hit her when you didn't. Strike three. I kid you not, you need to protect yourself with a VAR.
> 
> Then when you and her are alone, you better let her know that if she ever puts her hands on you again FOR ANY REASON, you will have her arrested and let her know in a way that you mean business. And you better get her in anger management classes because I got news for you. You will wind up in cuffs and in jail even though you did nothing. Take it to the bank. If she refuses to attend, tell her either she takes the classes or you file for divorce. Maybe she'll get the idea and for Christ sake, stop feeling sorry for her. She knows what she's doing. Hormones Schmormones.


They do it because they know they can get away with it. They figure if the cops come you will be the one to catch the blame and hell.

Do like they are saying and VAR on you at all times. Also let her know, that she will never ever assault you again.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

wilderness said:


> One of the biggest mistakes of my life was not pressing charges against my wife when she punched me with a closed fist. She eventually had me arrested and thrown in jail even though I never hit her. Don't be like me, press charges if she ever does it again.


The same thing happened to me, I didn't end up in jail, but outside of jail I was the one treated like the abuser.

Like they said too, blood is thicker than water. So you can't count on her folks to do the right thing.


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## honeysuckle (Feb 23, 2014)

You must end the relationship. This can not continue. It Is bad for everyone. Would you prefer your kids grow up with violence around them,just so you can see them every day? It would be better for them to not see you or the violence while you sort this situation legally.
Mr honeysukle was beaten by his ex,his kids were aware of everything even though they were " always in bed at the time" Mr honeysuckle moved out more to protect the kids than himself. He was talking to his kids about why he left, no mention of violence,just the usual we weren't getting on anymore,we were arguing all the time. His eldest son looked up & said "I know dad we heard it all" it made us upset to hear you & mum fighting" 

I think that says it all.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

treyvion said:


> They do it because they know they can get away with it. They figure if the cops come you will be the one to catch the blame and hell.
> 
> Do like they are saying and VAR on you at all times. Also let her know, that she will never ever assault you again.


What is a VAR?


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## wilderness (Jan 9, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> What is a VAR?


Voice activated recorder.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

wilderness said:


> Voice activated recorder.


Thank you.


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## markjohnson (Mar 16, 2014)

Thanks a lot to everyone so far....It has helped me to get my head straight. As you all know it is very difficult to say what is going on behind the closed doors to anyone in person.


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## silentghost (Jan 28, 2013)

Mark.....no female has the right to hit you....pregnant or not.....there is not one excuse for what she did.
Next time she attacks you...call the cops and file charges for domestic abuse...and once you do that....do whatever you can to get custody of your kids.....they need someone more stable than their mom. Remember....what she did to you....she just might do that kind of abuse to her kids as well.

I'm afraid this is just going to get worse...especially that her parents are patting her back for what she did. She's going to keep on doing this until you break....so get your finances in order, get a lawyer, do whatever you can to get custody of your children and get out.
I hope this helps.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

markjohnson said:


> Thanks a lot to everyone so far....It has helped me to get my head straight. As you all know it is very difficult to say what is going on behind the closed doors to anyone in person.


Well Mark! You see how quickly it ramps up, and how powerless you are. You also see hpow easily she can change the tables.

In this scenario, going back instead of having the fear and doubt I would call the police myself and press charges. Remain calm during the entire incident. 

If you do this multiple times it will be on the record. I know your not feeling too good!


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

I have been hit by a girlfriend. I have never hit a woman (sisters don't count  )

Women want equality. Let's make sure they get equality good and hard.

If male nature is 'no excuse' to looking at other women, pregnancy or menstruation isn't an excuse for hitting either.

This assumes there is nothing unsaid in the recitation of facts.


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## FoodFrenzy (Oct 27, 2013)

I think this is just awful. Please get yourself out of this situation, for yourself and your children. Unless it's in self defense (which here, it sounds like it is certainly not) violence is always wrong. I think a lot of abusive women get some kind of sick power trip by being able to control someone bigger than them.. show her just how poorly her plan has failed, pregnant or not. And then do your best to get custody of your kids!


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Well....first let me say that I have never hit woman. But...everybody dates at least one psycho. One of my girlfriends threatened to hit me once I grabbed her by both arms and said very firmly I would never hit you unprovoked, but if you ever hit me I will return the favor and I won't hold back. She knew I meant it and never even raised her voice to me again.

I'm no abuser but if you hit me with a closed fist I'm going to hit you back male or female. My own mother even told me that the never hit a woman rule only applied if the woman didn't hit you first. Her exact words were if a woman wants to fight you like a man then treat her like one. Was I the only one that was taught this? I know it sounds bad. Sorry mom.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Your W's behaviour is out of control. She's not only abusing you, physically, emotionally and verbally, but doing so in front of your children.

You need to document every single incident and seek professional help asap. You need to protect yourself, your children and your unborn child from your W's abuse.

A woman abusing a man is no less serious than a man abusing a woman, and is far more common than many think.

Here's a link that will hopefully be of use to you, OP:- Help for Abused Men: Escaping domestic violence by women or domestic partners


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## honeysuckle (Feb 23, 2014)

It is far more common Mr honeysuckle suffered physical abuse from an ex. It's a shame men don't report this as frequently as women do. 
It's wrong. Men would not loose respect from their peers. Which I think is why a majority of men don't report it.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

honeysuckle said:


> It is far more common Mr honeysuckle suffered physical abuse from an ex. It's a shame men don't report this as frequently as women do.
> It's wrong. Men would not loose respect from their peers. Which I think is why a majority of men don't report it.


And this right here is what needs to change! Men need to support one another more in this regard. 

Whilst a man might be_ capable_ of doing more physical damage (but not always), the emotional damage is exactly the same. There should be no shaming or shame when admitting that one is living with a cowardly abuser. It is the silence and secrecy that enables them to do what they do.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> And this right here is what needs to change! Men need to support one another more in this regard.
> 
> Whilst a man might be_ capable_ of doing more physical damage (but not always), the emotional damage is exactly the same. There should be no shaming or shame when admitting that one is living with a cowardly abuser. It is the silence and secrecy that enables them to do what they do.


:iagree:

And I think we are doing a fair job at support here.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Male, female, animal, or space alien, the law does not expect you to stand there and accept assault without defending yourself. You can have her arrested, you can get a restraining order and you can use reasonable force to defend yourself. Taser International makes a wonderful civilian model that will light her ass up with 50,000 volts, curing all her childhood trauma, unresolved daddy issues, and hostility problems with only one or two applications.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

We understand this is an embarrassing situation, but you have violence in your home and you have the power to make it stop. Please sit down and write out all the times when this has happened and the circumstances. Your wife is not going to get the children, when she has a history of physical violence against you. I would not even talk to her about it, but would call 911 the next time she does this. Normally I would say to get out immediately, but when it is a woman being physically violent against a man, you are unfortunately at a disadvantage if you don't have a police report to back up your claims and it doesn't sound like you are in danger of serious injury.
I have been pregnant 3 times and know that is not an excuse for bad behavior of any kind. It just isn't. Pregnancy doesn't make a woman lose her self control. A bad attitude and bad character do that.
I understand you don't want her to go to jail, but at this point it is probably going to be the most reasonable thing to protect your family. This isn't only about you. This is about your beloved children living in a violent environment. That will have a negative impact on them whether you like it or not.
It might also be a good idea to speak to a lawyer and get some insight and advice, because once she does this again and you call the police, she may decide to divorce you and you want to be prepared. You also want to be prepared to protect yourself in case she lies about you.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Male, female, animal, or space alien, the law does not expect you to stand there and accept assault without defending yourself. You can have her arrested, you can get a restraining order and you can use reasonable force to defend yourself. Taser International makes a wonderful civilian model that will light her ass up with 50,000 volts, curing all her childhood trauma, unresolved daddy issues, and hostility problems with only one or two applications.


The worst thing the OP could do right now is retaliate in any way whatsoever. He needs to document everything she does and place it on record with the police, an attorney or even the family doctor. Sooner or later, it's my guess she will try to turn the tables on him and play the victim (most abusers do this), and he needs to make sure he doesn't give her any ammunition.

OP, you need to build a watertight case against your W so that if you end up divorcing you can think of taking the children with you. An abuser is not a fit person to rear children, IMO.


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## BaxJanson (Apr 4, 2013)

I'd also reach out to an abuse shelter - most of them are geared towards women, but many are starting to address men's needs, as well. Learn what you can about abuse - if there's physical abuse, you can bet there are other kinds of abuse going on - in my experience, women excel at the emotional abuse. There is likely a lot more damage that's been done, and learning is the best first step to repairing it and preventing more. Protect yourself however you can - her behavior is unacceptable.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

markjohnson said:


> yes and the worse is for the kids.And I love them more then anything!!!!! *She would never ever hit kids*


You think so huh?

Do some research on anger issues. Wait until your kids are older and talk back and can give her a real hard time.

Your wife is unstable and it's not because she's pregnant. She needs REAL help. You also need to protect your kids.

Let's be realistic here. Lets say you do divorce your wife. Right now, who do you think the custodial parent would be....HER. But if you show her behavior and it's documented. You have much better grounds to be the custodial parent. This isn't about taking her kids away, it's protecting them and establishing a HEALTHY relationship for her and them.


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## honeysuckle (Feb 23, 2014)

May I also suggest that you photograph any marks/bruises that her violence leaves behind this will also help to build a case against her,if you decide to go down this avenue.


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## DarkHoly (Dec 18, 2012)

Eye for an eye


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## kaleighgurl (Mar 19, 2014)

I would never hit my husband and if I accidentally did definitely not in the face. Thats just wrong and she needs to deal with her issues or this could get way out of control.


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## Frank Banana (Mar 24, 2014)

markjohnson said:


> my wife gets extreamly angry with me....She keeps hitting me.... on last occassion i was supposed to go to work on a bank holiday. I explained to my boss and said that i can come in however later on in the evening around 7pm. I had planned family day out that day which is to start at 4pm and would last for few hours. Once i said this to my partner she got extreamly angry. She said to the kids that i wont be going with them at all on the family day out.I got realy mad with her and i really shouted at her saying that she is doing this only to hurt me and all because i need to go to work..... she called me bast..., c..t. as...e.. She spat at me..... and all this in front of kids..I got realy mad and told her that she is acting like a spoiled child when it doesent get its own way.... She then punched me with her fists 6 times right in my head and scratched my face with her nails...
> I walked out then. I realy dont know what to do. I love my family and my kids are eveything to me..
> P.S. she is pregnant at the moment


There's only one thing to do and that is divorce. A man doesn't have to tolerate that kind of behaviour. If there were signs that she was going to turn out like that you should have spotted them and moved on. It's a shame that you have kids but it's better to be free of all that nonsense. Just make sure she doesn't try to clean you out.


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## Redpill (Mar 20, 2014)

Equal rights, equal fights I say.

How much do you want to bet that if you slapped her she'd be on the phone with the cops in about 60 seconds?

Funny how women advocate gender equality, but they only want the positives of equality none, of the bad stuff that comes along with it.


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## Redpill (Mar 20, 2014)

kaleighgurl said:


> I would never hit my husband and if I accidentally did definitely not in the face. Thats just wrong and she needs to deal with her issues or this could get way out of control.


You "accidentally" hit your husband? Would you be O.K if he "accidentally" punched you in the stomach or shoved you to the ground?


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