# wife has a thing for her boss(es)



## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

Hi All,

Basic Stats:
Married: 8 months
Living together: 6 months
Total time together: 3 years
Ages: 25 (me), 27 (her), OM (40ish)


I recently discovered that my wife has been having an emotional affair with her boss. I'm 100% sure this is not physical as I was able to see the texts between them where he tried to kiss her and she said she wasn't willing to do anything physical until after she had left me. The problem is the whole after she had left me thing. 

As it turns out they had been flirting for quite awhile - I tend to not be very jealous and she would always say she was texting friends. I did at one point say I'd like her to stop after 10:00 PM and it appeared that she did... for about 3 days. Finally I confronted her because I felt her totally pull away for about a week straight. She lied for a long time but I kept saying you're lying... and eventually she started crying and confessed. He had asked her one night at work if there was a chance they could be together. She said she'd have to think about it but they kept going closer and closer until they were saying things about moving in together and "I wish I had met you 3 years ago". This in particular is quite hurtful because we went through a lot together. I also have been (in my opinion) and from what she said a great husband. I cook, I help out around the house, work hard, play sports, make double what her boss was making. 

The part that kills me is - this isn't the first time. This has almost happened 3 other times, each case being with her boss, but I've always caught it early on and kind of spoiled her fantasy or she has moved to another location. To be honest I want to stay with her - I took the vows etc.. but I really don't want to put up with this my whole life. Any tips?


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Together 3 years. 4 affairs. Hmmm... That's a tough one. 

RUN! FAST! NOW!

She's looking and she WILL find. I doubt this one didn't go physical, let alone the other three.

Did you ask her why she married you?


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## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

whatsup said:


> Hi All,
> 
> Basic Stats:
> Married: 8 months
> ...


Definition of insanity doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. Re-read your POST. My advice is get a Marriage Annulment. 8 months and 3 EA/PA


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

If this has happened before then I'm more concerned about you mindset than I am about hers. It's understandable a spouse forgiving a cheating spouse ONCE but two, three times? Where does it stop?

You may not like what I'm about to say but you're wife is a serial cheater and she is having these affairs because she's looking to replace you and once she finds the man she believes is her "soul mate", she'll drop you like yesterday's trash.

If you choose to continue with this marriage, you'd better get used to being a cuckold in a one sided open marriage. You'll have no one to blame but yourself.


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## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

MrK said:


> Together 3 years. 4 affairs. Hmmm... That's a tough one.
> 
> RUN! FAST! NOW!
> 
> ...


:lol: BINGO DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER!!1:lol:


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

whatsup said:


> Hi All,
> 
> Basic Stats:
> Married: 8 months
> ...


Your brand new bride is a serial cheater, and each time you have swept this under the rug. You have basically enabled her cheating because of the lack of consequences. It's not enough to just nip things in the bud, especially after she keeps repeating her actions (cheating).

This IS a no brainer. 


Married only 8 months
No children
Current affair is with boss, currently OM#4...that you know of
THREE previous affairs, all with her bosses

Cut your losses and run! Run for the hills from this woman! OR you can do what you have previously done and sweep this under the rug and see what that gets you.

If her boss has a wife or girlf friend, expose it to the OMW. Do it now.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

whatsup said:


> I also have been (in my opinion) and from what she said a *great husband. I cook, I help out* around the house... Any tips?


In that case, the OMs must be truly outstanding cooks and housekeepers. Oh, they don't help out and cook for her? In that case, your wife does not find men who engage in these activities to be sexually arousing. Remember that in your next marriage and do not become Beta/Gamma man. When you hear these comediennes joking that only a man who is a housekeeper arouses her, she's really saying "I am a lesbian."

Annulment.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

whatsup said:


> Hi All,
> 
> Basic Stats:
> Married: 8 months
> ...



What an excuse for staying with her................She also took the vow, what happened to her vow? You took the vow never means that you should remain as a cuckold till she dumb you.........

You are only 25 and married for just eight months, RUN MAN, else you will regret later. She is a serial cheater and not a marriage material. She dont think you as the right person to grow older. she is in search of the right person for her. She is not right person for you to grow older with, its time for you to search for your soul mate, any way she is not your soul mate.

So issue her with D papers and find the right person for you.


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> Your brand new bride is a serial cheater, and each time you have swept this under the rug. You have basically enabled her cheating because of the lack of consequences. It's not enough to just nip things in the bud, especially after she keeps repeating her actions (cheating).
> 
> This IS a no brainer.
> 
> ...



Wow! I got a lot of advice quickly and all similar. Just quoting this one to reply to all above.

I didn't tell the whole story but to be honest I agree with the posters so far and am seriously leaning towards divorce. 


The first times were not really affairs. She just started talking a lot and became a bit distant but they never went into the relationship zone or even brought it up. The other men showed no interest to be honest and I feel now that this is what prevented it. She did confess that she was sexually attracted to them/thinking about them. I know that part of this is tied up in who she was as a child (a lot of sexual abuse from authority figures, completely emotionally distant father who told her he loved her for the first time when she was 20, and a mom who moved out). I unfortunately found out most of this after we were married and we tried to start working on it. 

When I did find out about this one I came down hard on it. I told her that night I was filing for divorce and she had a melt down. Full disclosure of everything, broken contact at work (quitting her job if necessary). I made contact with the OM's spouse, informed her, and talked to him. I did not physically threaten the OM but I let him know it wasn't ok (he knows me as well and I think is well aware I came close to breaking his legs). Since dday (about 5 days ago) there has been no contact between them other than work related conversation that I know of. 

I feel that this will continue as you've all said. She also left her previous 2 relationships in EAs but other than that seems like the perfect angel. The sex is also very nice - we usually have it 4-5 times a week regularly and at the moment I read on here it usually picks up, has been about 3-4 times a day. 

Knowing this would you guys still say get the hell out and run for cover? I'm pretty sure if I spoke about this with my friends I'd get the same response.


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> In that case, the OMs must be truly outstanding cooks and housekeepers. Oh, they don't help out and cook for her? In that case, your wife does not find men who engage in these activities to be sexually arousing. Remember that in your next marriage and do not become Beta/Gamma man. When you hear these comediennes joking that only a man who is a housekeeper arouses her, she's really saying "I am a lesbian."
> 
> Annulment.


Actually I only started cooking and helping because she asked me too and said those things mattered to her in the relationship. I'm not the beta male type - I just don't mind helping out if asked. In fact sex improved a lot after i started helping around the house. Her biggest complaint was I never asked her if she was ok if she bumped her foot. Similarly she didn't show too much emotion if I crushed my hand playing rugby.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

Your wife has very low boundaries which if you want the marriage to work must be addressed. In the meantime she should leave her job. If not I suspect that this will go PA in short order. There are women (men also) who just can't say no in a very good way. They do not want to offend. My wife started texting a guy we bought tickets from last year. He has season tickets to a team we love. My wife describes him as married and fat. So here we are in R. Last month he calls her to see if she wants to buy tickets for an upcoming game (keep in mind we have had no contact with this guy in a year). She says that she is interested in tickets and tells me that this guy called her and what it was about. Then it went to texting. My wife showed me the texts. It went like this:

Him: I got four tickets for the game in late May, are you interested? (not an unusual request as we bought tickets last year from this guy - but never a text - always voice)
Her: Not sure will have to check. Oh, by the way, call me ***** that is my first name and thanks for keeping me in mind (smiley face)
Him: Hey *******, this is ****, glad you responded let me know because I promised them to you first but my brother is interested (then a long text followed about his brother, etc)
Her: Thanks *****, I have a wedding that day, (she goes on to explain about the wedding, her family life etc) two long texts with smiley faces.
Him: Ok, sorry it did not work out about the game, will let my brother know, hey about that wedding, tell me more about your family, etc.

At this point I intervened. My wife was saving the texts for me. I said you are crossing the line here. She said, the guy is fat. I said, so what. you had sex with a stranger and first time you told me you were disappointed in him but that did not stop you from driving him to a hotel within minutes of meeting him. I explained to her how inappropriate it is to send a guy smiley faces and tell him all about your family. I said this is about tickets to a game not building a relationship. I said if this was me getting these texts you would be pis*ed too. I said the smiley faces and the personnal information is over the top and shows low boundaries and I would take it as you being flirting. My wife says she gets it and understands. I said, you need to discuss this in IC as this is part of how you got into A's in the past.

Your wife needs to quit her job, pronto.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

while youre at it, if the boss is married then tell her


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

whatsup said:


> *The first times were not really affairs. She just started talking a lot and became a bit distant but they never went into the relationship zone or even brought it up.*


They were. And you need to run like your money and your life depend on it -- because they do. If you're not careful, she'll have you paying spousal support and could possibly give you a life-ending STD.

RUN!!


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> while youre at it, if the boss is married then tell her


already informed the boss's SO and informed him that she was informed.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

whatsup said:


> Knowing this would you guys still say get the hell out and run for cover? I'm pretty sure if I spoke about this with my friends I'd get the same response.


Yes. Your WW has serious, deep seated issues. As a husband, you want to be able to help her with her emotional problems. The problem is that you can't. She needs serious therapy. She will always be trying to please authority figures, especially at work. What this means is that you CANNOT trust her to go to work, ever again. Even if she got a job where her boss is female, she would be trying to hook up with a male supervisor or coworker. 

Do you want to be constantly looking over your shoulder the rest of your life? Do you want to have to keep snooping on your WW, wondering who the next OM will be? Yes, you took your vows, but as people have said, the vows don't mean anything to her. 

You want to stay married. We get that. That's natural. But look at the facts. Multiple affairs so early in the marriage? It's not going to work out and you know it. You just seem to need a lot of people telling it to you, and even then, you might disregard everyone's advice. The choice is yours. Either suffer the pain now, or suffer even more years down the road when you have a house, property, and possibly children. Then it will be much worse, I guarantee you that.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

whatsup said:


> Wow! I got a lot of advice quickly and all similar. Just quoting this one to reply to all above.
> 
> I didn't tell the whole story but to be honest I agree with the posters so far and am seriously leaning towards divorce.
> 
> ...


Yes they were. They may not have gone into the PA zone, but they were EA. Even if they didn't SEEM to show interest, SHE did. And likely they talked about a lot of relationship stuff, etc. It took from your relationship/marriage. It was an affair.


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## TorontoBoyWest (May 1, 2012)

Listen I understand the whole love thing. I understand the commitment to vows.

As mentioned above she committed to those vows too...


And then proceeded to dump on them and wipe.

So my question is, you are 25. A kid in this day and age....


Why would you want to stay with someone who obviously has no issue or concern with treating you so disrespectfully?

Are your needs so unimportant in your own view that this somehow is ok with you? And don't give us the "well that is why I am here" crap. That won't fly. You know what she is doing is wrong. Disrespectful. And yet you let it continue without consequences after the first instance.


Her actions speak to not giving a sh!t about you... your actions speak to the same.

Is that what you want in your life?


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Love is not unconditional, its conditional. How can you love some one who dont care a sh1t about you, who disrespect you, who treat you like POS, who dont truly love you?

We know you love her very much but your love alone is not sufficient to run this marriage long enough.


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

fair points. do you think this would meet the grounds for an annulment or would i need to file for divorce?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

whatsup said:


> fair points. do you think this would meet the grounds for an annulment or would i need to file for divorce?


You should consult a lawyer, as they are more versed with the family/divorce laws of your state/country.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Look up your state laws regarding annulment.

The problem with affairs in the workplace is, she could be getting banged while at work and you wont have any proof of it in texts/emails.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

whatsup said:


> fair points. do you think this would meet the grounds for an annulment or would i need to file for divorce?


Talk to a lawyer.

Different countries, different States = Different laws and rules.

Annulment would be the best option if you can do it.


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> You should consult a lawyer, as they are more versed with the family/divorce laws of your state/country.


this could be complicated as we are living outside of the states at the moment


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

whatsup said:


> this could be complicated as we are living outside of the states at the moment


Did you marry in the USA? If so, then consult an attorney in the State in which you married or the last State where you had/have a legal residence.

Most times a consult cost little to nothing.


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## TorontoBoyWest (May 1, 2012)

whatsup said:


> this could be complicated as we are living outside of the states at the moment


The lawyer will be well versed in your situation. If they arent, its why they have law clerks in the office. That is their job, to find that sh!t out.

They will know the steps it will take for your marriage to be terminated, and they can lay out a course of action for you.

It's what you pay them the big bucks for.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Wow, are you going to keep hoping you discover it before it goes PA? Cause unless she actually gets some serious IC help and fundamentally changes she will, not may, will eventually go full on PA with someone.

As for the current job, the daily work contact will keep the EA alive.

I really think you shoud get an annulment, but either way she needs serious IC and boundaries.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

whatsup said:


> this could be complicated as we are living outside of the states at the moment


Then you should consult with a local lawyer and see if the US will recognize the overseas divorce decree. Is your wife a local national? I was in a similar situation. I was stationed in the Philippines when I went thru this, so I had to get the divorce from my state of legal residence. From what you describe that you make double what her boss makes and you're living abroad, I guess you're married to a local national.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Yes. Your WW has serious, deep seated issues. As a husband, you want to be able to help her with her emotional problems. The problem is that you can't. She needs serious therapy. She will always be trying to please authority figures, especially at work. What this means is that you CANNOT trust her to go to work, ever again. Even if she got a job where her boss is female, she would be trying to hook up with a male supervisor or coworker.
> 
> Do you want to be constantly looking over your shoulder the rest of your life? Do you want to have to keep snooping on your WW, wondering who the next OM will be? Yes, you took your vows, but as people have said, the vows don't mean anything to her.
> 
> You want to stay married. We get that. That's natural. But look at the facts. Multiple affairs so early in the marriage? It's not going to work out and you know it. You just seem to need a lot of people telling it to you, and even then, you might disregard everyone's advice. The choice is yours. Either suffer the pain now, or suffer even more years down the road when you have a house, property, and possibly children. Then it will be much worse, I guarantee you that.


I would not so quick to D, but that is me (my opinion). But your wife has serious issues and if not addressed will become even worse then it is now. I don't know your wife but if she is looking for an A and goes into a job thinking I am ging to hook up with someone then I would leave her, especially with her track record. On the other hand if she goes to a job and can't say no, does not have boundaries where she keeps things professional, and falls in love with guys soon after being there a short time then she needs serious help. When women (men also) can't say no to advances, or allows relationships to develope to EA's there is a flaw that is dangerous to the marriage. I will assume that no matter what you do for your wife it will never fill the empty void that is in her. No spouse can fill every void or meet every need their other spouse has. The spouse with the unmet need should share it or suck it up and live with it. I am serious here. No spouse can meet every need their mate has. When their spouse looks to have this need or these needs met outside of marriage it is wrong. Some of these folks have no intention of going into an A, but their low boundaries open up the door. You wife may be when confronted thinking WTF, why am i like this? I don't know enough about her and am just playing armchair therapist here, but no matter what pattern your wife fits into she still is the one making the choices. No one is forcing her to do it. And if she continues in this behavior it will only get worse.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

whatsup said:


> fair points. do you think this would meet the grounds for an annulment or would i need to file for divorce?


You don't need to go the divorce route unless you have a lot of shared assets and kids. 

Have a lawyer file for an annulment. Heck, you could probably just go to the website for your county superior court and download the forms and file them yourself for a moderate fee. Annulments are quick, cheap and painless as long as your so-called wife agrees to the split of the assets. 

Git' er done and free yourself of that skank. She will destroy your life if you let her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

lordmayhem said:


> Yes. Your WW has serious, deep seated issues. As a husband, you want to be able to help her with her emotional problems. The problem is that you can't. She needs serious therapy. She will always be trying to please authority figures, especially at work. What this means is that you CANNOT trust her to go to work, ever again. Even if she got a job where her boss is female, she would be trying to hook up with a male supervisor or coworker.
> 
> Do you want to be constantly looking over your shoulder the rest of your life? Do you want to have to keep snooping on your WW, wondering who the next OM will be? Yes, you took your vows, but as people have said, the vows don't mean anything to her.
> 
> You want to stay married. We get that. That's natural. But look at the facts. Multiple affairs so early in the marriage? It's not going to work out and you know it. You just seem to need a lot of people telling it to you, and even then, you might disregard everyone's advice. The choice is yours. Either suffer the pain now, or suffer even more years down the road when you have a house, property, and possibly children. Then it will be much worse, I guarantee you that.



This pretty well sums it up. You cannot control who she is or what she does. You can control only your response to that. This is a painful situation for you no matter what you do, but IMHO, the greater pain resides in staying with her to see what other injury she will inflict on you.


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## ParachuteOn (Apr 20, 2012)

I love these excuses! You say the other 3 didn't develop into affairs because she said the men showed no interest? What if they HAD???

Well, we kind of have insight as to how she would respond if they did show interest....."nothing physical till I leave him". How thoughtful.

This is like Thorburn's wife saying the AP was "married and fat". So if he wasn't fat what would be going on??

These excuses are the worst kind. 

I'm sorry you are going through this.


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

whatsup said:


> Actually I only started cooking and helping because she asked me too and said those things mattered to her in the relationship. I'm not the beta male type...


I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but I have read enough to claim bullsh!t. You are being as beta as beta can be.

You are getting taken for a ride.

I'll read on now.


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

whatsup;745348 Any tips?[/QUOTE said:


> Yes. Get out now!! Your wife is a serial cheater.


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

whatsup said:


> The part that kills me is - this isn't the first time. This has almost happened 3 other times, each case being with her boss, but I've always caught it early on and kind of spoiled her fantasy or she has moved to another location. To be honest I want to stay with her - I took the vows etc.. but I really don't want to put up with this my whole life. Any tips?


So are you a glutton for punishment? Or are you really this beta?

Consider this a great big E 2X4 coming at you....

Here's your tip. Dump her @ss.


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

whatsup said:


> The other men showed no interest to be honest and I feel now that this is what prevented it....
> 
> Knowing this would you guys still say get the hell out and run for cover? I'm pretty sure if I spoke about this with my friends I'd get the same response.


Do you really think because you caught it before she had sex with them (as far as you know) everything is ok?:scratchhead:

Yes, get the hell out. Don't run for cover, though. Fry her @ss. Only beta males run for cover..


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

whatsup said:


> Actually I only started cooking and helping because she asked me too and said those things mattered to her in the relationship. I'm not the beta male type - I just don't mind helping out if asked. In fact sex improved a lot after i started helping around the house. Her biggest complaint was I never asked her if she was ok if she bumped her foot. Similarly she didn't show too much emotion if I crushed my hand playing rugby.


Look, I am not tryig to cut you down but you can deny you are not the Beta type and that is fine. But everything you are writing is certainly not an Alpha type either.

She is an angel accept for the affairs. OMG. 

You do not want children with this woman. 1) You will not know if they are yours and 2) You will be held hostage to her flings by them.

Move on. If you must stay you must insist she yet again change her job, immediately.


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

I've read the thread now.

If you have any balls at all, get an anullment. To say this woman is toxic is a gross understatement. You can do MUCH better..

No offense intended, but you are the ultimate beta, according to your thoughts and actions posted here.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

I think the problem is you see yourself as this wellrounded successful person in all others areas of your life, and can't or won't accept failing at what should be the most important area. dude, what you don't seem to understand is that those past three, have conditioned you, to think you can still succeed at this. be it far from me to say you can't, but if you continue to let love overrule reason, then plz get her some serious counseling.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey Whatsup---you boasted real bigtime, about what you did/would do to your cheating wife's boss----WHAT THE F DID YOU DO TO YOUR WIFE-------Oh I know you told us---you jumped into bed even more often with her

Has there been just one little bit of F'ing accountability on her part----

Oh I know, you told her you would D. her, is that right---TOLD HER---let me tell you something Whatsup---WORDS ARE MEANINGLESS---actions are the only thing that counts----let's see what your actions were/are----Oh Yeah, you jumped into bed more often with her-----once again---WHERE IS THE F'ING ACCOUNTABILITY

She has cheated on you 3 to 4 times, no matter how you wanna make light of the early EA's, she still "dissed" you and spent time talking to other strange/single or married men, when she was IN A realationship with you

You really don't get it, do you----you are handling this in a very, very weak manner, and she WILL cheat again, cuz she knows you will do nothing, but throw out some idle threats----oh yeah, and you will jump into bed with her more often---that should really scare her!!!!!!!!!


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

Well all I can say is I have found in 24 hours I am not alone in this ! and neither are you 

You are a young man and although I can see you think the strength of your love will win and knock some sense into her it sadly, probably won't

And another point I'd make, a general one, is like me if you have to go to extreme measures to make them understand they simply cannot treat their so called 'loved ones' like they do then what's the point anyway!?

It's almost like trying to make somebody love you is'nt it.

This is making me see the sheer folly of my own decisions in recent years, trying to hold something together that cannot penetrate severe mental deficiencies in a partner / spouse


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## Parallax857 (May 15, 2012)

whatsup said:


> Wow! I got a lot of advice quickly and all similar. Just quoting this one to reply to all above.
> 
> I didn't tell the whole story but to be honest I agree with the posters so far and am seriously leaning towards divorce.
> 
> ...


Dude, I know it's hard to leave someone you love. I've been there brother. But you deserve better. You deserve a woman who will love you completely, focusing only on you. There are such women. Many of them. When you find one, then make the investment of devoting your whole self to the relationship. Your current gal has serious problems. If you don't pull your head out of the sand, you're going to get burned BADLY. Take it from one who has been down that road.


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## Baffled01 (Mar 14, 2012)

whatsup said:


> Hi All,
> 
> Basic Stats:
> Married: 8 months
> ...


Your wife maybe be telling her boss she's going to leave you just to keep him chasing her. She probably finds it thrilling. Even if she has no intention of really leaving you she likes the fact the man in charge is after her and wants to keep it that way.


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

jnj express said:


> Hey Whatsup---you boasted real bigtime, about what you did/would do to your cheating wife's boss----WHAT THE F DID YOU DO TO YOUR WIFE-------Oh I know you told us---you jumped into bed even more often with her
> 
> Has there been just one little bit of F'ing accountability on her part----
> 
> ...


hey sex is sex


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

Headspin said:


> Well all I can say is I have found in 24 hours I am not alone in this ! and neither are you
> 
> You are a young man and although I can see you think the strength of your love will win and knock some sense into her it sadly, probably won't
> 
> ...


very true and i feel i did kind of have to lead her by the nose to make her see how wrong it really is. i've contacted a lawyer in the US in the state where we were married but am going to do the separation at my own pace.


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

OldWolf57 said:


> I think the problem is you see yourself as this wellrounded successful person in all others areas of your life, and can't or won't accept failing at what should be the most important area. dude, what you don't seem to understand is that those past three, have conditioned you, to think you can still succeed at this. be it far from me to say you can't, but if you continue to let love overrule reason, then plz get her some serious counseling.




Actually this is completely true. I'm embarrassed that my friends/family will see that something I did failed. In particular something I was so confident going into. 

She is going to start seeing a counselor on her own now but to be honest I feel it is really too late. Maybe she will be better for the next guy.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

whatsup said:


> hey sex is sex


Actually not. Sometimes it is masturbating inside a vagina. Sometimes it is just a cuckold trying to reclaim their wife or getting off on their wife banging other guys. That is not healthy sex. YMMV.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey watsup----yes sex is sex, and if that's what you want, go for it----just don't get trampled along the way----somewhere , and at some point in time----you gotta decide if you really wanna stay with a woman, who likes to stray, with all sorts of other men.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I agree with the others. Grab your keys out of your purse and drive to the lawyers office asap.


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

whatsup said:


> Maybe she will be better for the next guy.


What odds are you offering on that?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

whatsup said:


> hey sex is sex


If that's all you really want then a paid escort will give you much better return on your investment each time and you can have easy variety. But obviously you also want a friend and partner.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Intheknow (Feb 15, 2014)

Leave Now Go!


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Intheknow said:


> Leave Now Go!


maybe he did. two years ago.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

How many time doe you need to be gut punched before you start to realize that she's not wife material? 

This has happened three times already and now she ups the ante and plans on leaving you. 

 Now you bust her and she sheds a few tears and wants to make nice.

The longer you keep her in your life, the worse it will get. She isn't wife material. She's a selfish cheater with no boundaries and if you don't kick her to the curb now, I'll bet the house that someday you'll come home and see her packing to be with the other guy. 

Tell her that once is bad enough but now she's beyond keeping around and show her the door. 

Ten inform all the other guys wife and tell her about her husband. I would even go to her work place and inform her boss' boss and let the sparks fly.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I have a feeling that when OP was still around TAM back in 2012 he listened and bailed on his old lady... But who knows, it's been years since OP has been here!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Why in the world do people resurrect these ancient threads?! 

I get suckered in every time... forget to look at the date, type up a response, and then realize OP is LONG GONE...!!!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

Was long gone but just came here to see the old thread 

I did end up dumping her. I changed a lot of stuff in my life that had been making me unhappy (outside of the marriage) that I felt was unchangeable when I was with her. Ended up spending an awesome 2 years travelling around the world climbing and meeting some wonderful people.

Currently in a LTR with a great girl I met along the way and have had 0 regrets since I made the decision.

The advice here was a huge help for me though  thanks again if anyone is still around..


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Good for you my friend!&#55357;&#56842;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

whatsup said:


> Was long gone but just came here to see the old thread
> 
> I did end up dumping her. I changed a lot of stuff in my life that had been making me unhappy (outside of the marriage) that I felt was unchangeable when I was with her. Ended up spending an awesome 2 years travelling around the world climbing and meeting some wonderful people.
> 
> ...


That's great!


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

MarriedGuy221 said:


> Whatsup - can you give details and a timeline? Might help newbies... Glad you're doing well


Sure thing -

June 2012 - Told ex that I wanted a divorce
July 2012 - She moved out (lease under my name)
August 2012 - Filed for divorce through mediator
December 2012 - Divorce approved and finalized in both countries

In this period of time I was seeing other people which was a great confidence booster and a lot of fun. I stayed single(ish) until July 2013.

Emotions were pretty raw around December. First Christmas alone while the divorce is being finalized was tough but after it was done a weight was lifted.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

whatsup said:


> Sure thing -
> 
> June 2012 - Told ex that I wanted a divorce
> July 2012 - She moved out (lease under my name)
> ...


VERY nice to see you have rebuilt your life.


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## whatsup (May 7, 2012)

Honestly no idea... I think she ended up with the boss immediately after moving out but I haven't spoken to her.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Good riddance.

Isn't indifference a wonderful thing?


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

Great posts, and thanks for the update.

As you have learned, the shame of failure was only in your eyes. Family and friends just want you HAPPY and healthy.

Many prayers for a long and successful life my man.


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