# Trying to be Civil when kids are involved



## Shortysmile (Dec 20, 2008)

Hello Ladies and Gents.

I recently separated from my husband. I was the one who called it quits. I gave all hope on the marriage. 

We have two young children. He went to go live with his parents and I stayed with our apt. and the kids. It was thought it would be easier on the kids this way.

I've tried to be as accomadating as possible taking the kids to him every other day. The first weekend he kept them for one night. It's been an emotional rollercoaster. One day he is nice, one day he is mad at me. I understand I'm the vilan here. The bad guy for breaking up the marriage. But we were both unhappy.

He doesn't understand why I still want to be friends with hime if the love is gone.

I keep trying to be civil about all this because of our kids and the holidays..

What do I do?
Not let him see the kids anymore? This isn't what I want. I want him to see the kids as much s possible. I've included him in all our holiday activities (putting the tree up, going to take pictures with santa).

This is so new and I'm so confused

Thanks


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## StrongEnough (Nov 25, 2008)

Shortysmile said:


> Hello Ladies and Gents.
> 
> I recently separated from my husband. I was the one who called it quits. I gave all hope on the marriage.
> 
> ...


You are both on an emotional rollercoaster right now. I would suggest keeping the amount of "family activities" where he is invited to join or whatever to a minimum. I know it is particularly hard at Christmas, but I think it will be easier for now until he comes to terms with things. Best wishes.


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## blind (Jan 17, 2008)

Please don't keep him from seeing the children if he wishes to see them. Don't make the children the center of turmoil between the two of you. It isn't fair to the kids that they become the subject of the problems. You and he will need to approach this as adults. You can't force him to do that, but you can handle yourself appropriately (I'm not suggesting you havn't been). As I am learning from experience, separation/divorce with kids can be very hard. But the two of you must handle the kids appropriately. They are the victims here. My best to you.

Blind


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