# Lonely overwhelming day today



## nick15 (Jan 17, 2012)

Monday will be 3 weeks that I boldly asked that my wife leave me of our home. I have been reading and committing on other peoples hard issues and complications including my own and it certainly helps to focus on other peoples hard times and not just my own. I have picked up a new part time job to help deal with the lonely nights and to offset the loss of income that my wife brought. It's too quiet here. We used to have a home where little grandchildren ran a muck. Funny how we miss the little things that used to drive you nuts! I don't miss the mental pain and anguish our circumstances offered. Raising children because of children having children and the forsight to see that it would be impossible to see it getting any better. My wife had 2 girls that were stepchildren to me. Both in their teens had kids. Regardless of what pains they went through to make our lives hell especially mine, letting the grandchildren go was a part of that deal and I miss them. I'm trying to make peace with it. I have no kids of my own and I wonder at 44 if it is too late to imagine finding a partner to have my own one day. I dunno. Just a hard day...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Well you could take your wife and all the kids back. Do you think about that?

At 44 is it too late to have children. Not hardly. Find wife about 10 years younger than you. She's the one who will bear the children, not you.

Get out there and start living. You will not find the mother of your future children sitting around your house being lonely.

Have you ever tried using on-line dating sites. If you try it... look for women in your town... not long distance. Us the site to meet the women, then after a week or two of exchaning emails.. meet them in person... say for something simple, low pressure, like coffee. Then go from there. 

You'd be surprised how many really nice looking, well educated, etc great catches are online trying to meet a good man. It's better than going to a bar. Where else can single meet anyone these days?


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

nick15:
I am living alone for the first time in my life, for 7 months now. Please don't rush the healing process. Don't re-bound. Surround yourself with soft comforting things, blankets that make you feel good, meals that warm your soul, movies that give you joy, books you can immerse yourself in.

Join a gym or outdoor group for relaxation and to combat the loneliness. In time, you may be able to call the step children to bring their kids over.

Time, my friend, it's going to take time. Just be patient and gentle with yourself and understand this is called grief. It's normal to feel what you are feeling.

In time, you will decide what is right for you and you will do that. This does not last forever, it feels like it but it doesn't.

Take care of you.


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## IfIwasYourVampire (Jan 5, 2012)

All i can say is that i feel your pain, the sadness, anger, frustration, loneliness, emptiness, a part of you has died and you need to treat it as such, give yourself time to mourn the death of your marriage, cry let yourself be consumed by all that pain, embrace it, welcome it, once you do it, once you hit the darkest bottom you will realize that the only place to go now is up towards the light, i'm still in the bottom stuck in mud, but today i have decided that enough is enough, if i dont try to pull myself up nobody else is gonna do it, yes i can have help from the outside but only if i reach out looking for those helping hands, hang in there and keep posting, i have been doing it and its helping me a lot. BE STRONG! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nick15 (Jan 17, 2012)

I appreciate everyones responses. It does really help. The seperation from my wife was a long time in the make and I know that eventually I will make peace with it. I fear what both our futures may hold, but know that I will not be at the mercy to her kids is major relief. I just hate that this is my second failed marriage. I didn't want the stigma of divorce on my shoulders, but I can't let that stop me from going forward.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Sparkles422 said:


> nick15:
> I am living alone for the first time in my life, for 7 months now. Please don't rush the healing process. Don't re-bound. Surround yourself with soft comforting things, blankets that make you feel good, meals that warm your soul, movies that give you joy, books you can immerse yourself in.
> 
> Join a gym or outdoor group for relaxation and to combat the loneliness. In time, you may be able to call the step children to bring their kids over.
> ...


Thank you Sparkles. I too am suffering today and it helps to keep hearing positive forward thinking comments. This too shall pass.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Coping with separation and divorce
Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening. 
Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. No one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup, and re-energize. 
Don’t go through this alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships, and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.


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