# How often the big O?



## mack25 (Apr 6, 2013)

I have a questions to the ladies here. What percentage of the time you fool around with your Significant other do you reach the big O? This can be through manual, oral, intercourse. My wife has at least one 95% but can only hit the first one via manual or oral. I'm just curious if others have them at this rate given this has become an expectation for her


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

99% of the time.It's very rare for me to not have an orgasm or several at some point.It used to be 0% so I'm thankful for the change.


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## ASummersDay (Mar 4, 2013)

99.9% of the time. I can only think of 2 times out of countless with my husband that I didn't have one. And those 2 times were only because of issues I was having at the time (i.e. not being able to clear my mind).


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

99.99999. Actually because I have no experience outside my H and I never been the type to discuss my sex life with my friends I assume most women did until I came on TAM. And I didn't know either that most women don't O from PIV. Friend and Co worker around me were always talk about their sex life and I just assumed from their graphic description that the deal was always completed. After a year of TAM I realize I'm a blessed woman!

I will say this though. I have the problem that it often happens too quick for me no matter what we have tried. But if my H want to keep going I sometimes cannot have another one but I don't mind at all.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

If I am in the right frame of mind, 100%. If I'm under stress <10%.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Sorry to crash the party, but I thought you 99+ %'ers would find it fascinating to hear that I don;t think my wife has EVER orgasmed. With me, by herself or with anyone else. Ever in her life. She's closer to 50 than 40 in age.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

Before my husband? I'd say about 80% of the time. With my husband 99.997%. He is very attuned to my body, reads my cues VERY well. He also knows I will rain hell down upon him if he doesn't make a good faith effort to bring me to orgasm. And I know the same is true in the opposite direction.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

MrK said:


> Sorry to crash the party, but I thought you 99+ %'ers would find it fascinating to hear that *I don;t think *my wife has EVER orgasmed. With me, by herself or with anyone else. Ever in her life. She's closer to 50 than 40 in age.


You don’t seem to know for sure. That more fascinating to me.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

MrK said:


> Sorry to crash the party, but I thought you 99+ %'ers would find it fascinating to hear that I don;t think my wife has EVER orgasmed. With me, by herself or with anyone else. Ever in her life. She's closer to 50 than 40 in age.


Mine too. Never ever.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

On the rare occasions that we engage in the act, she seems to have one 99% of the time. She can have one right after another on occasion. Those times are my favorite.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

MrK said:


> Sorry to crash the party, but I thought you 99+ %'ers would find it fascinating to hear that I don;t think my wife has EVER orgasmed. With me, by herself or with anyone else. Ever in her life. She's closer to 50 than 40 in age.


I don't find it fascinating as much as really,really sad.Her lack of orgasms are no reflection on you I hope you realize that.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Every time we have sex, I usually have 3 orgasms, frequently more, rarely less. However, a few times over the summer I just couldn't get there. Not good with number so I'll leave the percentage up to you.

But it wasn't always like that.

Why do you ask?


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

I really don't remember the last time I didn't have at least one. My husband seems to take it as a personal failure if he doesn't get me to orgasm. Really, I think he enjoys it at least as much as I do.

There have been times where I've said, after quite a valiant and prolonged effort on his part, "It's okay, babe, I'm just not getting there," but that just makes him double down until I come--almost in self-defense. 

He's master of the female O, that is for sure.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Spoiler alert: This thread in no way even remotely closely resembles a typical woman's experience.

You TAM ladies are mega-orgasm producers.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

MrK said:


> Sorry to crash the party, but I thought you 99+ %'ers would find it fascinating to hear that I don;t think my wife has EVER orgasmed. With me, by herself or with anyone else. Ever in her life. She's closer to 50 than 40 in age.


My ex was the same way (at least she SAID so!) First time she ever orgasmed with me was through gspot (so, not really an O?). Never through clitoral or PIV. Direct stimulation of her clitoris was painful, no matter how turned on she was. Eventually, she discovered vibrators, and without direct clitoral stimulation, she was able to have them. And that pretty much took over her sex life... sigh

I'd be interested to know (though would NEVER ask!) if she's been able to have them since me.

Though I'm obviously not a woman, I've always assumed, probably wrongly, that it is more a question of her not being suitably turned on/attracted to/touched correctly by her partner. As it is much much more a mental thing for a woman than a man, there is usually so much more to it than just direct stimulation. The mind has to say "yes" as well as the body. We guys don't really have that problem...


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Almost always (once in a blue moon I don't orgasm at least once), the only time I didn't regularly orgasm is when I was on EVIL medication.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

committed4ever said:


> 99.99999. Actually because I have no experience outside my H and I never been the type to discuss my sex life with my friends I assume most women did until I came on TAM. And I didn't know either that most women don't O from PIV. Friend and Co worker around me were always talk about their sex life and I just assumed from their graphic description that the deal was always completed. After a year of TAM I realize I'm a blessed woman!


 Same here....it's 99%, very very rare I don't get mine... the only time this would happen is if we did it the night before... maybe it's the next morning....and he slipped before me.... if he held out...it would be 100% of the time. 

I also had no idea that only 30% orgasm regularly from intercourse... that oral is more like 70%...

My orgasm has always been of the utmost importance to him... He's the type that would feel great sadness IF I couldn't get mine...he's just geared this way....(did a thread on that not long ago). 

So much that...if he slips before me ..he really feels bad...like he let me down.... I find it very sweet though. 

Back in the day, when he'd do that, I'd say... "No ..NO, you can't do that"... lightly pound on his chest....just showing I REALLY wanted that!.. and tell him he was going to do that again .. back then, he could... ..(It was playful, not mean...he was happy to do it again...).

But now....at his age... once he blows ...he's out for awhile.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

COguy said:


> You TAM ladies are mega-orgasm producers.


Nope, TAM husbands are sexually gifted and well endowed.


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

Amplexor said:


> Nope, TAM husbands are sexually gifted and well endowed.


Yes, yes we are. *polishes fingernails on shirt*


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My orgasm has always been of the utmost importance to him... He's the type that would feel great sadness IF I couldn't get mine...he's just geared this way....(did a thread on that not long ago).


That is how it should be, IMO.


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## mack25 (Apr 6, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Every time we have sex, I usually have 3 orgasms, frequently more, rarely less. However, a few times over the summer I just couldn't get there. Not good with number so I'll leave the percentage up to you.
> 
> But it wasn't always like that.
> 
> Why do you ask?



I had heard much lower numbers talking with other women I work with. Many never have O's. The other issue it brings up is that my wife expects it every time (which I have no problem with and enjoy giving), but she has become much less giving. It is becoming much more rare when BJs go to completion (never like that before)


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Okay really I don't understand what is the big deal about a woman having an orgasm during sex. Men are expect to have them why not women? I really now want to do a poll among the women I know but I just don't have the time with a new baby and plus it would be so not like me it would create too many questions. I can understand and sympathize with women who don't but it seem kind of smug for men to think that women shouldn't always expect to finish. 

How often do you men NOT have one? Are you okay with that being the norm? I truly believe sex was meant to be pleasure for men AND women. Maybe some men need to go back to the drawing board and figure it out?


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## Awe (Aug 16, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> How often do you men NOT have one? Are you okay with that being the norm? I truly believe sex was meant to be pleasure for men AND women. Maybe some men need to go back to the drawing board and figure it out?


Not have one? Maybe 3 times in my life. I believe it was the 5th time we had sex each of those days. So it was more out of being tired than anything 

She has only ever had an orgasm once without any other stimulation than vaginal sex. But 95% of the time she gets hers. I just basically have to touch her down there and she will O when we're having sex.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> Okay really I don't understand what is the big deal about a woman having an orgasm during sex. Men are expect to have them why not women? I really now want to do a poll among the women I know but I just don't have the time with a new baby and plus it would be so not like me it would create too many questions. I can understand and sympathize with women who don't but it seem kind of smug for men to think that women shouldn't always expect to finish.
> 
> How often do you men NOT have one? Are you okay with that being the norm? I truly believe sex was meant to be pleasure for men AND women. Maybe some men need to go back to the drawing board and figure it out?


How many women worry about their man's O to the extent that men are expected to worry about their woman? How many can read his body and know just the right moment to tighten up? Know the exact right pressure and speed to move to take him from good to amazing? Know that men can have very different feeling orgasms depending on position, speed, pressure, tightness?

I would imagine that on TAM, most women will know exactly all that about their men, much the same way that most of the men here are among the worlds best lovers packing seven inches +


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> MrK said:
> 
> 
> > Sorry to crash the party, but I thought you 99+ %'ers would find it fascinating to hear that I don;t think my wife has EVER orgasmed. With me, by herself or with anyone else. Ever in her life. She's closer to 50 than 40 in age.
> ...


I think a lot of men who have wives that don't O struggle with that. My wife doesn't O through PIV. I can usually get her to O through oral ... or at least she did back when we had sex. If I didn't have a gf prior to my wife who not only had multiples every time but also squirted, I would question if I somehow was inadequate or not a good enough lover.

_Posted via *Topify* using Android_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> I think a lot of men who have wives that don't O struggle with that. My wife doesn't O through PIV. I can usually get her to O through oral ... or at least she did back when we had sex. If I didn't have a gf prior to my wife who not only had multiples every time but also squirted, I would question if I somehow was inadequate or not a good enough lover.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* using Android_


Of course, just because you are a good lover for one woman does not mean you are a good lover for another. Much the same for women...just because they gave great head for one guy doesn't mean it'll be any good for the next.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

You mean there is bad head?

(Just seems like whenever there is a d*ck in your mouth, nobody complains.)


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> JustSomeGuyWho said:
> 
> 
> > I think a lot of men who have wives that don't O struggle with that. My wife doesn't O through PIV. I can usually get her to O through oral ... or at least she did back when we had sex. If I didn't have a gf prior to my wife who not only had multiples every time but also squirted, I would question if I somehow was inadequate or not a good enough lover.
> ...


Well, she is not a good lover for me. She's built a wall to protect herself emotionally and that extends intovthe bedroom. I eventually found myself in a position where sometimes I couldn't O. She just is not a lot of fun in bed. I would just work hard to make sure she had hers and leave it at that.

_Posted via *Topify* using Android_


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> You mean there is bad head?
> 
> (Just seems like whenever there is a d*ck in your mouth, nobody complains.)


Yes. The few times my wife has done that, she will focus on the tip ... she will suck so hard it renders me useless for anything else and uncomfortable for a day or so. Not cool.

_Posted via *Topify* using Android_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> You mean there is bad head?
> 
> (Just seems like whenever there is a d*ck in your mouth, nobody complains.)


Yes. Yes there is, and much like some men, many women really don't listen to the non verbal signals being sent. Sadly, many also refuse to listen to, or refuse to believe the man if he lets her know she's not doing it right for him, because after all, she knows how to do it because there's no such thing as bad head


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Okay really I don't understand what is the big deal about a woman having an orgasm during sex. Men are expect to have them why not women? I really now want to do a poll among the women I know but I just don't have the time with a new baby and plus it would be so not like me it would create too many questions. I can understand and sympathize with women who don't but it seem kind of smug for men to think that women shouldn't always expect to finish.
> 
> How often do you men NOT have one? Are you okay with that being the norm? I truly believe sex was meant to be pleasure for men AND women. Maybe some men need to go back to the drawing board and figure it out?


For myself, no it's NOT okay. And I can't tell you the number of times I've been been back to the drawing board. My wife simply can't get there. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's her. I honestly don't know. This is a woman that is immune to a hitachi for crying out loud.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> You mean there is bad head?
> 
> (Just seems like whenever there is a d*ck in your mouth, nobody complains.)


Dry tongue and lots of teeth maybe? Ha.


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## Lovelycherry (Sep 2, 2013)

MrK said:


> Sorry to crash the party, but I thought you 99+ %'ers would find it fascinating to hear that I don;t think my wife has EVER orgasmed. With me, by herself or with anyone else. Ever in her life. She's closer to 50 than 40 in age.



Well do not give up on her-- I am a 50 year old women who has had her first orgasm a bit past fifty. Never really understood what they where till I watched Betty Dodson's videos. I bought myself a Hitachi vibrator and it has changed my life.

Sadly I never really learned anything about my body and this is the first time.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Well, she is not a good lover for me. She's built a wall to protect herself emotionally and that extends intovthe bedroom. I eventually found myself in a position where sometimes I couldn't O. She just is not a lot of fun in bed. I would just work hard to make sure she had hers and leave it at that.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* using Android_




I wish I couldn't empathize with you. That wall you described perfectly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

samyeagar said:


> How many women worry about their man's O to the extent that men are expected to worry about their woman? How many can read his body and know just the right moment to tighten up? Know the exact right pressure and speed to move to take him from good to amazing? Know that men can have very different feeling orgasms depending on position, speed, pressure, tightness?


I'm one of those women.  And I think that there are a lot of women who care very deeply about their SO's sexual pleasure. There _are_ women who are more involved than just laying back and thinking of England.



> I would imagine that on TAM, most women will know exactly all that about their men, much the same way that most of the men here are among the worlds best lovers packing seven inches +


Sexual issues are common in relationships, and many of the women here who have multiple orgasms and focus on their man's pleasure, have had to work really hard to get there. DH has been my only sexual partner, and that includes oral and manual. He had to teach me what to do, and it was not easy getting over the naivety and stepping out of my comfort zone. Not to mention the physical pain from not having sex before. I had to learn how to orgasm. My first real orgasm took me over an hour to get because I didn't know to relax and let it happen. 

Just because we have successful sex lives now doesn't mean it just happened magically.


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## loopy lu (Oct 30, 2013)

Almost every time....unless Im tired, or we get ****blocked by the children....3 under 6 including a newborn


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

For the OP: I orgasm about 97% of the time. If we have a quickie, I don't usually get oral or manual, and while I can and usually do orgasm through PIV, it doesn't always happen. I can only orgasm in one position, so if we don't use that position, I'll need manual or oral to get there. But it's rare for me not to orgasm.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My SO orgasms on a regular basis. As she put it when I asked, 99.99998% of the time. And often multiple times. But she rarely (like 2 or 3 times in almost 3 years) orgasms just through PIV. I don't take that as a slight against me as a lover, and I welcome thoughts from her on changes we could try to get her over the hump, but if she's ok, I'm ok.

On the occasions that she hasn't been able to orgasm, she just lets me know. Sometimes we give it a break and come back to it in a bit, sometimes we try something different, or else I can just "cheat" if I think she really needs an orgasm. So she rarely goes without. Which is good, because her pleasure is as important to me as my own. And I feel comfortable that she feels the same!

C


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

SunnyT said:


> You mean there is bad head?


Yep!

Teeth. Too hard of a grip. Not enough tongue. Repetitive motion/speed (ie. not changing it up). Not being into it.

I could go on!

And like oral sex on a woman, what works for one won't always work for another.

(I know you're not completely serious, btw)


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## Karenwalker (Nov 13, 2013)

99.9 percent of the time. 

Who is Betty Dodson? 
I think some women still enjoy sex a lot even though they don't have an orgasm.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Every time, and often more than once. Honestly, I would feel cheated if I was left hanging. But at least I'm also pretty easy to please.

It's almost never through PIV. Occasionally, with the right position and angle, PIV is enough to take me there, but usually not. I don't see that as any sort of problem or reflection on my SO. It's just the way I'm built.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> How many women worry about their man's O to the extent that men are expected to worry about their woman? How many can read his body and know just the right moment to tighten up? Know the exact right pressure and speed to move to take him from good to amazing? Know that men can have very different feeling orgasms depending on position, speed, pressure, tightness?
> 
> I would imagine that on TAM, most women will know exactly all that about their men, much the same way that most of the men here are among the worlds best lovers packing seven inches +


Well the question was about women getting theirs, not men.

But anyway yes it is important to me to be as good a lover for him as he is for me. I know what to do and when to do it to make sure he has a great experience all of the time, which is at least 7 times per week. I know his sounds, his body, his desires, how to give him mind blowing BJ's. I have an well tuned sense of sexy and know how to turn him on just by how I arch my back, move my body etc.


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## Karenwalker (Nov 13, 2013)

"which is at least 7 times per week."

Is it usually once a day or like seven times in one day?


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Karenwalker said:


> 99.9 percent of the time.
> 
> Who is Betty Dodson?
> I think some women still enjoy sex a lot even though they don't have an orgasm.


You should check out Betty Dodson's work. She's a sex researcher. She has written books and has a blog. She had a very long sexual relationship when she was in her 60s with a fit younger man in his mid 20s! He too is in the field of sex research. It's all in her book, The Joy Of Partnersex.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Karenwalker said:


> "which is at least 7 times per week."
> 
> Is it usually once a day or like seven times in one day?


No way we could go 7 times in a day lol, I really would not want to anyway. I am mid 40s he is in his 50's it would kill us I think 

On average we have daily sex, twice daily a couple of times a week and sometimes none in a day, averaged out it would be 7 times or more a week.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Karenwalker (Nov 13, 2013)

Holland said:


> No way we could go 7 times in a day lol, I really would not want to anyway. I am mid 40s he is in his 50's it would kill us I think
> 
> On average we have daily sex, twice daily a couple of times a week and sometimes none in a day, averaged out it would be 7 times or more a week.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's awesome.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Karenwalker said:


> That's awesome.


Even more so as I was once married to a LD man and lived in a sexless marriage for many years.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

COguy said:


> Spoiler alert: This thread in no way even remotely closely resembles a typical woman's experience.
> 
> You TAM ladies are mega-orgasm producers.


As someone who had been on the no orgasm side of life for far too long,I'm happy to be a little bit older and wiser about my own body now. In the past I placed no importance on my own orgasm and neither did my former partners.
Now it's really important to my husband and to me.

There have been times where I just don't feel it happening so I'll let him know.he stops whatever he's doing for a few moments to snuggle me then he says "well this is unacceptable.I'm going to try something else.you will end,woman!" :rofl: And you know what? I do.

So it's not so much the ladies here are mega-orgasm producers as much as we understand we have just as much right to O as our partner does.Seems many ladies don't understand that. "Oh i take too long and don't want him to get impatient so I don't even bother." uh WHAT??! No.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Lovelycherry said:


> Sadly I never really learned anything about my body and this is the first time.


Happily, you are learning now, and it's all uphill from here!


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Yes. Yes there is, and much like some men, many women really don't listen to the non verbal signals being sent. Sadly, many also refuse to listen to, or refuse to believe the man if he lets her know she's not doing it right for him, because after all, she knows how to do it because there's no such thing as bad head


For the record, these non-verbal cues can be really difficult to interpret, and it would really help to supplement with words sometimes. I've been trying and trying to get my SO to give better feedback, and he just says not to worry as "you can't have a mind-blowing orgasm every time"

Maybe so. But should that stop you from trying?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Holland said:


> *Well the question was about women getting theirs, not men*.
> 
> But anyway yes it is important to me to be as good a lover for him as he is for me. I know what to do and when to do it to make sure he has a great experience all of the time, which is at least 7 times per week. I know his sounds, his body, his desires, how to give him mind blowing BJ's. I have an well tuned sense of sexy and know how to turn him on just by how I arch my back, move my body etc.


Absolutely correct, but things started going down the road of blaming men for the reason their women don't O, and I was just pointing out that it was a two way street is all.


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## ASummersDay (Mar 4, 2013)

Although my husband is very good at what he does, the primary reason I reach orgasm as often as I do is because _I_ make it a priority. I figured out a long time ago that I need to be totally relaxed and certain spots need to be hit. Knowing and doing that, it comes pretty easily.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Absolutely correct, but things started going down the road of blaming men for the reason their women don't O, and I was just pointing out that it was a two way street is all.


I know you talking about me Sam and in retrospect I guess that was not fair. But I was referring to CO post implying that a high rate of women having O's was not common only TAM women do. Well to me that imply that he feel like women are not expect to have orgasm so don’t worry if they don't. That just the way it is. Well I call BS on that and if as a male that your experience then maybe that male need to check his technique. 

As for all that stuff you list do you do this and that and the other I don't know about other couple but for us after 8 year of marriage you kind of know how to move to satisfy your H what he likes what drive him crazy etc. Feedback will do that. 

But anyway I sorry for implying that all men are slacker. CO remark just pissed me off. (no offense to you either CO).


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

I have rarely had issues with my partners not having the big O when we have sex. Maybe it is them, maybe it is me. Who knows? But it seems to work. 

That aside, I get immense satisfaction from my wife (and partners before) having the big O and hopefully many times. I may be delusional in thinking that I am a big ingredient in that result. In short, I get off on them getting off. So it is a mix of selfish and unselfish as to why I put such thought and effort into them getting off.


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Betty Dobson is great, here is one of her YouTube videos talking about "How to Orgasm during partnersex":

How Do I Orgasm During Partnersex? - YouTube


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

ASummersDay said:


> Although my husband is very good at what he does, the primary reason I reach orgasm as often as I do is because _I_ make it a priority. I figured out a long time ago that I need to be totally relaxed and certain spots need to be hit. Knowing and doing that, it comes pretty easily.


Since I accepted that sometimes it just was not going to happen for my wife but that she still enjoyed sex and the connection without it, she has an orgasm 99% of the time. While there were other factors involved (such as her making it a priority and her figuring out what worked for her), my insistence on making it happen prevented her from relaxing and enjoying sex.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

committed4ever said:


> I know you talking about me Sam and in retrospect I guess that was not fair. But I was referring to CO post implying that a high rate of women having O's was not common only TAM women do. Well to me that imply that he feel like women are not expect to have orgasm so don’t worry if they don't. That just the way it is. Well I call BS on that and if as a male that your experience then maybe that male need to check his technique.
> 
> As for all that stuff you list do you do this and that and the other I don't know about other couple but for us after 8 year of marriage you kind of know how to move to satisfy your H what he likes what drive him crazy etc. Feedback will do that.
> 
> But anyway I sorry for implying that all men are slacker. CO remark just pissed me off. (no offense to you either CO).


Cool, well when 70% of women don't orgasm during PIV sex, and then women say "You should check your technique" that pisses me off. Especially since you're inferring sexist remarks without even bothering to gather more information (making YOU a sexist).

There's a board full of men here who would give their left testacle to make their wives orgasm. Some of them get divorced and then go on to be mind-blowing roof pushers.

I think posts like yours do far more to hurt women. Most women feel like something is wrong with them if they can't orgasm during sex, telling them that "If they just thought right they could have them every time just like me!" just reinforces that.

The truth is some women can't orgasm, for whatever reason, despite their best effort. Some women will never ograsm from PIV sex, despite their lover's technique or their frame of mind. My comment was reassuring both women and men in these situations, that they shouldn't think something is wrong with them when they see a thread full of women mentioning that they orgasm every single sexual session, because that is not the statistical norm.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

COguy said:


> My comment was reassuring both women and men in these situations, that they shouldn't think something is wrong with them when they see a thread full of women mentioning that they orgasm every single sexual session, because that is not the statistical norm.


Yes, but these statistics are a direct result of very solvable problems, including but not limited to awareness of and knowledge about female orgasm, extensive shaming of women about their sexuality, and cultural norms/expectations of women regarding their own sexuality.

For the longest time, it was believed that only men had orgasms, and no importance or consideration was placed on female pleasure during sex. This has changed only recently, and even still there are still masses of misinformation out there, including the idea that PIV sex is or should be the focal point.

Understanding this, becoming more informed about women's sexuality, and exploring more varied paths to pleasure can make a world of difference. Maybe not always, as there are also medical issues that can interfere, but often.


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## liveandlearn (Mar 19, 2009)

Unfortunately my husband has never really cared about mine so I've had the "big O" about 10% of the time we've had sex. I've told him many times that it upsets me over the 14 years we've been married. He's just selfish and always has been, about everything, not just this. Now our marriage is on the way out, but I'm afraid the damage to my self-esteem is going to be a long road to repair.


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## tcnh45 (Nov 17, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Mine too. Never ever.


Same here..only through me masturbating her...several times close through intercourse but it never came (no pun intended)


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

liveandlearn said:


> Unfortunately my husband has never really cared about mine so I've had the "big O" about 10% of the time we've had sex. I've told him many times that it upsets me over the 14 years we've been married. He's just selfish and always has been, about everything, not just this. Now our marriage is on the way out, but I'm afraid the damage to my self-esteem is going to be a long road to repair.


Just out of curiosity, can you make yourself orgasm? Have you had orgasm's with other partners? It might not be him.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

COguy said:


> Cool, well when 70% of women don't orgasm during PIV sex, and then women say "You should check your technique" that pisses me off. Especially since you're inferring sexist remarks without even bothering to gather more information (making YOU a sexist).
> 
> There's a board full of men here who would give their left testacle to make their wives orgasm. Some of them get divorced and then go on to be mind-blowing roof pushers.
> 
> ...


It's very difficult, and takes a while, to reach a Gspot O through PIV alone. Which is why most women don't reach a PIV orgasm! But women who take their orgasms seriously, who know how to orgasm and who want to orgasm will!

If a man is thinking he can get her off through nothing more than PIV thrusting... It IS his technique! A woman's clit needs attention, and lots of it! Yes, the woman needs to speak up on behalf of her little button but men need to know it's there and it is crying out for attention!

The OP didn't ask HOW we orgasm, just how often we orgasm.

And for the record... Mr. Pink is ver well endowed (we recently measured ) but more importantly he knows where my button is because I told him! And I am not too inhibited to flop myself on top of him, grab his hand and ask for what I want!


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

COguy said:


> Cool, well when 70% of women don't orgasm during PIV sex, and then women say "You should check your technique" that pisses me off. Especially since you're inferring sexist remarks without even bothering to gather more information (making YOU a sexist).
> 
> There's a board full of men here who would give their left testacle to make their wives orgasm. Some of them get divorced and then go on to be mind-blowing roof pushers.
> 
> ...


Wow you put something in quote that I didn't even say! YOU are the one who made a mockery of women who say we do have orgasm and imply that something that should NOT be expected. How is THAT helpful to have a woman think you most women will never have one so don’t expect it?


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## liveandlearn (Mar 19, 2009)

MrK said:


> Just out of curiosity, can you make yourself orgasm? Have you had orgasm's with other partners? It might not be him.


Yes, I can make myself orgasm and he can bring me to orgasm when he tries. I have with others as well.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

Ive never had a problem achieving an orgasm. If anything i often have a couple during any given session yay!! Guess it does pay to go to church everu Sunday wink wink !!!

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

I always have an orgasm during sex, either through oral or PIV. But I don't have g-spot orgasms ever. The PIV ones I have are because of positioning it so my husband's pelvic bone is in contact with my clit. 

So they're all clitoral orgasms.


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## Nynaeve (Jun 19, 2013)

COguy said:


> Cool, well when 70% of women don't orgasm during PIV sex, and then women say "You should check your technique" that pisses me off. Especially since you're inferring sexist remarks without even bothering to gather more information (making YOU a sexist).


70% of women don't orgasm during PIV doesn't mean that 70% of women don't orgasm during sex. So if a guy is thinking that all he needs to do is PIV, then yeah, he needs to work on technique.



> I think posts like yours do far more to hurt women. Most women feel like something is wrong with them if they can't orgasm during sex, telling them that "If they just thought right they could have them every time just like me!" just reinforces that.


I don't agree. I think saying "you can have it too" is encouraging. I think saying "you may never have an orgasm" is very discouraging. 



> The truth is some women can't orgasm, for whatever reason, despite their best effort. Some women will never ograsm from PIV sex, despite their lover's technique or their frame of mind. My comment was reassuring both women and men in these situations, that they shouldn't think something is wrong with them when they see a thread full of women mentioning that they orgasm every single sexual session, because that is not the statistical norm.


Is it really the "statistical norm" that most women don't orgasm during sex, though? Again, not reaching orgasm from PIV alone is not the same thing as not having an orgasm during sex.


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