# Wife is talking to me again, is this a good thing?



## brokenheart1682 (Apr 10, 2011)

We have been married for 2 years and have a 15 month old child together. Me and my wife have been separated for a few months now, she moved out on Valentine's day. She had found a profile on a website about a year ago of me when I was going through a rough patch in my life that I thought I might be bi-curious. She found about this and we had an argument and then kinda moved on. A year later around Valentine's day she texted me and said she couldn't deal with it anymore and that she has been thinking about it this whole year and doesn't feel the same way for me anymore. A few weeks later I found out she had been talking to her ex boyfriend from high school and actually started talking to him two days before breaking up. When I found this out we started having some huge fights and ultimately decided we couldn't be together anymore and began the process of divorce.

We haven't had much communication since the finding out of the emotional affair other than calling to talk to our daughter on the phone and finding out how her day had been going. About 5 days ago she called me up crying saying that she was so confused about everything and doesn't know if the decision she is making is the right one. We talked for about 3 hours that night and every night since we have talked on the phone til about 2 in the morning plus talking in the morning. We have been talking a lot about our daughter but also talking about things we are feeling which we never did enough of even when we were together. 

So last night we talked on the phone and I asked her if I made an appointment with a marriage counselor if she would go and she said she would. Now I know she is still talking to her ex boyfriend but she say's that it is nothing which I don't believe but I also feel something may have happened to make her realize that salvaging our relationship might be a good idea. I plan on putting a 100% into this marriage counseling but I'm not sure on how much she is planning on putting into it. She hasn't really said her reason for agreeing to go to counseling as she had refused to go when we initially broke up but I think it may have been she was thinking the grass was greener. She did tell me something that kinda bothered me, she said that she thinks we are better friends than we are husband and wife which really hurt because I loved her very much, does the talking a lot possibly have to do with her possibly trying to put me in the friend zone?

Anyways, does this seem like a good thing that me and her are talking so much? We are talking really good but we aren't like flirting or anything like that, just really talking about things like we are just really close friends. I know marriage counseling only works if both of us are invested in the idea of marriage counseling and really want to be back together, does marriage counseling sound like it will help in this instance?


----------



## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Well, the fact that she is willing to go with you to counseling is a positive step.
And so is the fact that she told you she doesn't know if she's doing the right thing or not.

I would take it at face value. All you can do is your part in this whole ordeal. It's up to her to decide if she wants to do her part.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## brokenheart1682 (Apr 10, 2011)

I agree, I really need to take it at face value. I was very glad when she told me she would go, but I don't really want to push the issue with her and find out why she is going. I'm sure after the first couple of meetings I'll be able to tell if she is really going to help save our marriage or just going so I will get off her back about going. Thanks for the reply!


----------



## brokenheart1682 (Apr 10, 2011)

Talked to the wife today and she stated that she doesn't know the reasons she is going to counseling with me because she doesn't think that they can talk her out of divorce. She is still willing to go and "listen to what they have to say" but is that really going to help? I think her judgement is just really clouded right now by the fact that she is still talking to the OM.


----------



## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

brokenheart1682 said:


> Talked to the wife today and she stated that she doesn't know the reasons she is going to counseling with me because she doesn't think that they can talk her out of divorce. She is still willing to go and "listen to what they have to say" but is that really going to help? I think her judgement is just really clouded right now by the fact that she is still talking to the OM.


Youhit the nail on the head anyting positive achieved in MC is gonna be invalidated by OM.


----------



## Momof2inMT (Apr 9, 2011)

I agree with Niceguy. If she really wants to put the effort into actually saving the marriage, OM needs to take a hike.


----------



## brokenheart1682 (Apr 10, 2011)

I know he needs to take a hike I just can't figure out how to get her convinced to give him the boarding pass. I have tried just about everything I possibly can. She won't admit that the things going on between her and OM are anything and that she has no intentions of dating anybody until after the divorce is final. She also states that she hasn't been with him yet which I have been trying my best to believe her on that as she does have a busy schedule between her time with our daughter and work but anybody with a desire to be with someone will find the time. The only thing I've been able to do to track if she is doing anything is her cell phone records as it is still in both our names and that was how I exposed the EA originally. I can't see though what she is saying to him and I don't have the time to drive around stalking her to find out if she is where she say's she is nor do I want to be that psycho about this stuff.


----------



## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

anything positive is well worth it, but try not to get your hopes too high, just have to play it day by day and see how things progress. Fingers crossed for you though !!


----------

