# I'm single, divorced mom



## mandik (Jan 13, 2016)

I'm single, divorced mother of 2 teens and soon to be grandmother. Have had relationship per say in 7 years but none felt right and all ended. I have and interested in a person I've know for a while, but he on one hand has made it clear he is a wonderer , yet when we in the same room he makes sure I'm paying attention to him and his every move. He makes excuses to why I can't love him, which is crap..so I stop listening and stop letting him know I see him or what he does.. Which results in me acting like I don't care when I do..

My question is , is this how all men act, have I just been out of dating so long that I don't know how to date or know what's what..I'm 43 been single for 7 years married for 20+ years..

I feel like a fish out of water...

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## MRR (Sep 14, 2015)

Actions>words


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Any question of the form "is this how all men [or women] act" is going to be answered "no".


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## mandik (Jan 13, 2016)

This dating or what ever you call it these days are so hard I wonder if it's even worth it to try, but know it is not to be lonely in life..
Just figured 6 years we haven't been more than friends won't be so I just leave it as it is what it is and still wish him the best..

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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

mandik said:


> This dating or what ever you call it these days are so hard I wonder if it's even worth it to try, but know it is not to be lonely in life..
> Just figured 6 years we haven't been more than friends won't be so I just leave it as it is what it is and still wish him the best..
> 
> Sent from my QTAQZ3 using Tapatalk


If you guys have been friends for 6 years--and you've been divorced for 7--I think it would be in your best interest to leave it that way. You said that he's a wanderer, so you're clearly worried about his ability to stay faithful, and he tells you reasons why he can't love you. 

If he wanted an actual relationship with you, he would have acted on it a long time ago. Yes, there are some friendships that eventually turn into relationships, but it that was the case he would be making the case for why you should be together.

I think he likes the attention that he gets from you--because he knows that you like him--but he doesn't actually want you as a partner. It's a ego trip for him, likely. 

Yeah... leave this one alone. Look for a man who wants YOU--not a man who wants your attention to feed his ego.


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

> My question is , is this how all men act, have I just been out of dating so long that I don't know how to date or know what's what..I'm 43 been single for 7 years married for 20+ years..


No, not all men are like this...you've just got a dud.

The good news is that there are a lot more available men in this age range. The bad news is that you may have to go through a lot of unsuitable ones to find the right one for you.

Don't settle...find the right one.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

How old were you when you got married. 15 or 16? Is that even legal?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

He just isn't interest in you.. Just the attention you gave him. If he was interested in more he would have let that be known by now


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

mandik said:


> he on one hand has made it clear he is a wonderer


That's guy speak for, "I don't want to buy the cow, I just want the milk for free." He doesn't want you. Just your attention and some sex.

If you're okay with a fwb situation then by all means, have fun. If you're looking for a REAL relationship, stop wasting your time with this man child.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Dating can be fun, but be sure you are getting back out there for a reason. Know what you want. Are you looking for a new life partner? Or just to go have some fun. Project your goal and be clear. 

As was already said, actions speak louder than words. Pay attention to how a guy treats you and what he does. If they match his words, then all is good. When the two are out of sync, listen to the actions.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

BetrayedDad said:


> That's guy speak for, "I don't want to buy the cow, I just want the milk for free." He doesn't want you. Just your attention and some sex.
> 
> If you're okay with a fwb situation then by all means, have fun. If you're looking for a REAL relationship, stop wasting your time with this man child.


All true except the sex part. If he wanted to "Part the Red Sea" he would have tried it years ago. 

If _*you*_ hit [on him], or now make it clear that being a "wonderer" [on his part] is not an issue for you, then that will likely spark, action. You need to make the move. But it will *likely* become friends with benefits FWB, as others have said. 

What do you want? A life partner or a little fun in an undefined interim-period? Go slow.

"Fun times" can be good but has its own risks and hassles. This type of fun requires a different type of mindset. One that you may not have, cannot handle or escape.

Again, what do you want?


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Believe him when he warns "I am a wanderer." He is saying.....he doesn't trust himself.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

No one has mentioned it, so I will. Have you actually taken the time to work on yourself? Your post screams of your own insecurity. I don't think you need to be worried about him, you need to worry about you.


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