# I'm really worried about desiring a new GF !



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Hey guys.
l am , now l know this is ridiculous because who knows what's gonna happen but if my x and l don't R , one day there'll be someone new. l really , really worry about being able to desire her .
See , l do have a v/high sex drive, always have. But my x was not only 9 or so yrs younger than me but she looked and was in her ways 9 yrs younger than her age as well and even she began saying l needed someone younger than her lately near end. She'd said dozens of times because l was still just too active , playful , energetic and pretty damn good for my age . She'd said even she was always worrying about being able to keep up with me lately because she was starting to feel older and like slowing down a bit.
Yet although she was 39 when we split and although she'd put on a bit of weight , she was just in a different league to anyone else l've known or see of that age and she's what l like and l'm use to . The younger chicks to still seem to be the majority of anyone interested in me and even now looks can be from 20ish even younger and up to into the 30's if l'm lucky and that's about what l tend to notice too . My x had the same problem as she called it . lt was always younger guys that took to her and they really did too . She use to laugh at mine and l use to laugh at hers . 

But in actual fact , a new gf will probably be older than my x and won't have her looks and youthfulness either , as a person or in looks and body . Yet they all unrealistically seem to expect sky fall in sex by the sounds of it and for it to last until your both 125 yrs old to boot, no matter what they look like , weight , the works . But hey they aren't 20 anymore and once the honeymoons over , where's the desire and drive meant to come from ?
l have seen one or two if l'm lucky that l could imagine desiring for a long time to come but l wouldn't be expecting some wild passionate thing. l've never really had anyone in their 40's - can't count my x because she was more like late 20's and most couples being married all that time would be well and truly cruising by that age l'd imagine.
Mind you , this is just me l'm talking about and l do realize plenty of guys in their 40s and 50's llove womem in that age .
See my x and me well , we had some great stuff , crazy stuff right through, before our marriage started going sth from stress and worries anyway. And she was still well and truly in the chick bracket with years of it left and that's what l'm use to , like !
Well it's like women now , of this age , still expect that but l just don't see how it's possible , from my point of view anyway. 
Maybe , well this is an example of one l met a few wks ago , in a supermarket line no less. Now her , l could spend a whole lot a years between her legs but that was an exception and what are the odds of hooking up with the personalty and that as well. Million to one l'd reckon.

l don't wanna hook up with somebody too much younger because l don't think it's practical long term . There's another girl l met , we get along sooo well and hot , but she's only 25 and l mean , l ain't even going there because long term , that's just not gonna work.
So l really worry now about actually even meeting let alone hooking up with someone that l'll desire enough long term.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

PS , Sorry l made a real mess in trying to explain all that l know - but it is a tough one !


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

yeah, having a hard time understanding your problem here


are you saying that IF you don't R with your wife that you are worried that you will not be able to catch a younger woman?


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

whitehawk said:


> l don't wanna hook up with somebody too much younger because l don't think it's practical long term.


Who said they had to be long term?  



whitehawk said:


> So l really worry now about actually even meeting let alone hooking up with someone that l'll desire enough long term.


I would worry more about the current situation with your divorce and not so much about the "what if's". In time you will be ready for companionship again, right now you have to take care of the here and now.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Sorry about that maybe l should zap it and start again.

But no l can catch plenty of younger women they seem to like me best.
The thing is if l get a new gf she'll probably be in her 40's , but the trouble is l rarely see any women in their 40's l'd desire enough to keep things going long term . Yet women of that age all seem to be expecting mind blowing sex forever these days but hey they aren't 20 anymore and because of what l'm use to , where will l get the desire from ?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

youre making a lot of assumptions and creating scenarios that don't exist yet or may not ever exist

get your house in order and worry about things as they come


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Unless l get lucky enough to meet one in her 40's that l not only get along well enough with to make a real go of it but she's also very very hot !
Spose anything's possible .


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

You worry too much and make too many assumptions about people and their age and what is actually out there.

I had a total of only 6 different dates before I found a woman that I am completely in sync with. I went from being with a woman that was 10 years older than I am to now a woman that is 9 years younger. Age is irrelevant when it comes to chemistry and compatibility, so long as you have many of the same interests and get along well.
Stop your worrying and you will eventually find her.

If you have an X, why would you want to R with her?


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah , spose l am worrying about bs right now . Can't help but think about it though as it looks like we'll probably end up divorced .
So your looking around you know , hell even in this very club all the women crap on about sex . 
What's that wildlife chicks name , Mechelle Strethen or similar is it ? She's in her 40's.Now her l could imagine being quite happy with for a very long time . 

C3 , yeah l guess that would be the usual thought, just enjoy . But ahh, l'm trying to use my head here - believe it or not :scratchhead: Coming out of a marriage gone wrong and all !


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I'm trying to pinpoint the concerns. Are you worried that:

You'll only physically desire women in their 20's but have nothing in common for an actual relationship?

I think you'll find that many of us 'old hags' over 40 still got it going on, have a high sex drive AND can carry on a conversation.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

IndyTMI said:


> You worry too much and make too many assumptions about people and their age and what is actually out there.
> 
> I had a total of only 6 different dates before I found a woman that I am completely in sync with. I went from being with a woman that was 10 years older than I am to now a woman that is 9 years younger. Age is irrelevant when it comes to chemistry and compatibility, so long as you have many of the same interests and get along well.
> Stop your worrying and you will eventually find her.
> ...



Good for you Indy , happy for you mate and good luck for the future.
But yeah l spose your right and l mean you never can tell can you !
l dunno there's just so much sex sex sex all over the net , tv , mags , around the kitchen tables, it's freakin everywhere . Whole world seems to be putting all this bs sex pressure on themselves and everyone else. l just worry where l'll get the desire from because although l've always had well above average sex drive , l've never really been with women that age or seen many l like in that way.
Your right , worrying too much.

X , why , still love her !


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> I'm trying to pinpoint the concerns. Are you worried that:
> 
> You'll only physically desire women in their 20's but have nothing in common for an actual relationship?
> 
> I think you'll find that many of us 'old hags' over 40 still got it going on, have a high sex drive AND can carry on a conversation.


Well you see too , we know the girls are gonna be dropping in so this stuff gotta be well , put , well somehow.

Anyway , if that's you in the box , you got nothing to worry about 

But hey , don't doubt that and yeah it's that high sex drive l worry about because l've never been with women that age , l'm worried sick if my desire would be there .


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> I'm trying to pinpoint the concerns. Are you worried that:
> 
> You'll only physically desire women in their 20's but have nothing in common for an actual relationship?
> 
> ...


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Ok try this . 6mths back l met really , the first girl l'd met since our separation right . l wasn't looking don't get me wrong , just wound up meeting her and we spent time and nights at her place talking , few drinks , stoned , we hit it off really well actually and coincidentally wound up being very very alike.

She was 43 and really really cute , very petite , mt fav' build really and extremely good for her age , exceptional.
Shame she turned out a bit of a head case actually , nother story but !
Thing was , all those all nighters and fun we had at her place but hell even she was wondering why there'd been no action.
But l just couldn't shake the age thing . like it wasn't in a bad or turn of way as such , she was gorgeous. lt's just l just couldn't even imagine it with her.




.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

whitehawk said:


> Well you see too , we know the girls are gonna be dropping in so this stuff gotta be well , put , well somehow.
> 
> Anyway , if that's you in the box , you got nothing to worry about
> 
> But hey , don't doubt that and yeah it's that high sex drive l worry about because l've never been with women that age , l'm worried sick if my desire would be there .


You may find yourself pleasantly surprised. I have a large group of gf's and well, I would not rate myself at the top of the looks pile for these 40-somethings. 

Most of us also bring some additional qualities to the table, like varied sexual experience. Add in that many of us are now free from the worry of unplanned pregnancy and it just releases all sorts of worry/constraints with our partners.

Hub jokes once in a while that my HD may kill him but 'what a way to go'. 

I'll fully admit - I don't look the way I did when we were married (I was 29 then) but his desire and attraction hasn't waned in the least. In return, I do my best to keep my appearance as tip top as I can which makes me feel even better.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> You may find yourself pleasantly surprised. I have a large group of gf's and well, I would not rate myself at the top of the looks pile for these 40-somethings.
> 
> Most of us also bring some additional qualities to the table, like varied sexual experience. Add in that many of us are now free from the worry of unplanned pregnancy and it just releases all sorts of worry/constraints with our partners.
> 
> ...



Thanks Red and l wouldn't doubt it.
Your hubby must be proud of you too looking after yourself like that . know he'd appreciate it. Lack of is the first thing that usually turns us guys off .
Ha it's funny but personally l reckon looking after themselves would just make being female fun myself .
Nice to hear you guys are still busy :smthumbup:


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

maybe try putting some value on their personality instead of all about the looks.


as I age (gracefully) I find a plesent personality and a nice smile goes farther that a tight body and a *****y attitude.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

In times like this, think with your balls and not your brain

Your brain becomes a liability holding you back, just get out there and stop thinking too much


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Ok ok...lemme get this straight....you are afraid you won't be attracted to women your own age because THEY look old?

.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I think that if you resist the urge to stereotype people, you will find someone who both pleases you sexually and is emotionally compatible with you.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Still remember a woman I met in my youth who was 40 yet looked in her 20s and an Asian lookalike of Jessica Alba no joke. She was the old man's however, so no way was I going there.

However, she was a doctor, and didn't have much of a sex life due to time restraints, apparently that staves off aging? But maybe because she was Asian. She has aged quite fast in recent times though.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Not a sorta look old , that's a different thing. A lot of women actually come to look the best they ever have into that sorta age. But it is a different age , look and body than l'm use to.
But yeah , spose it's more a matter of the right person and combo overall . Just worries me with everything so sex sex sex these days. l mean they're walking out everywhere because of it , they're leaving their kids , 20yrs of family and home building , their marriage, just to get out there and be 16 again . So if l didn't have the interest how the hell will l hold a new marriage together .


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