# Sister in law staying with us



## summers70 (Aug 31, 2012)

So WWYD? I told my husband in August i wanted to seperate/divorce (long story to come in another post) and have been sleeping in different rooms for two months now. We can't afford different homes and we have two young children. We have deicded to live in the same house until school ends then sell the house and get seperate places. Also my mom lives with us for medical reasons- she just can't live by herself. She pays rent each month and helps me with the house and kids so there is no issue there. He just told me that his sister is pregnant and she wants to come live with us from Dec to when the baby is born (March) and i am assuming for a few months after. She doesnt have a job and doesnt have any other family around, not married either. I feel bad for her but we are going through a difficult time and her not being able to pay or take care of herself is going to bring even more burden.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

That sucks! You can't work on yourselves with other people there.


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## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

> Also my mom lives with us for medical reasons- she just can't live by herself. She pays rent each month and helps me with the house and kids so there is no issue there.



Uhhh. Big issue. Sorry. These two sentences and the rest of your description tell a really big story.


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## summers70 (Aug 31, 2012)

Dedicated2Her said:


> Uhhh. Big issue. Sorry. These two sentences and the rest of your description tell a really big story.


No she stays in her room all day, the only time she comes out is to eat dinner. she goes to my aunt's house most weekends. my H actually wants her there to pay rent bec we can't afford not to have her there, but whenever his family comes they don't pay a cent, like when he had his *6* family members stay for 2 months just this summer. My mom has told us she would leav in a second if it meant we would stay together but that is not the issue.


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## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

> No she stays in her room all day, the only time she comes out is to eat dinner. she goes to my aunt's house most weekends. my H actually wants her there to pay rent bec we can't afford not to have her there, but whenever his family comes they don't pay a cent, like when he had his 6 family members stay for 2 months just this summer. My mom has told us she would leav in a second if it meant we would stay together but that is not the issue.


So, you guys don't eat dinner together without her there at the table during the week? and some weekends? 

Everything you have said has to do with finances for reasons not to or do something. Both of your priorities are not right.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

WWID? I'd be kindly telling everyone to find a new home. I can understand the mother living there, but there are senior high rises that are nice for situations like this and for her to live in. She would find new friends and be happy.

My parents moved in with their several dogs(we did not have any ourselves at the time). It was a VERY stressful living situation for all of us. My dad had lost his job, so I invited them in my home for a while. I had forgotten how overbearing my mother was until she moved back in. It's her way or the highway right down to the food brands we buy. It put a huge strain on our relationship that never fully recovered. My mother likes to "tease" us and the kids. It's down right rude and abusive at times.

My husband works very hard to provide for us. I prefer us living as an immediate family alone. It's really a burden when others move in. I'm assuming your sister in law is an adult. There are services to help her back on her feet if she would try. She needs to learn to become independent. 

This will put a strain on your marriage. I'm all for helping family out, but not long term. Temporary only. The sooner they leave the better. If your sister moves in, she better pull her own weight for sure. I definitely would not be happy about this. I like my privacy and being alone.

My mother clearly stated if my husband and I fell on hard times that are animals would NOT be welcome!!! WTF??? I let her home 7 dogs at my residence which was clearly against city rules. This was huge because my husband and I follow all the city rules ourselves.

I feel so bad for you. Good luck and I hope it all works out in the end.

Oh, I have someone I know(not family) trying to inch their way in my home because they do not want to pay rent. Her parents kicked her and her children out. This person makes a decent living, but does not want the responsibility. One of her children is always in trouble with the law and does drugs. This child has a felony or two with mistomeaners(sp). No way in hell would I let a non family member in my home.


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