# Unsure about my relationship



## brimccla (Jan 26, 2011)

I have a wonderful girlfriend who loves me very much and I love her very much too. We have been together for about 2 years. About 7 months ago I started to have really bad anxiety and almost broke up with my girlfriend because of it. Since then, I have felt depressed. My doctor put me on prozac about a week ago so I'm seeing if that will help. I am also a porn addict. I was this way since before I met my girlfriend but didn't realize my problem up until a couple of months ago. I love my girlfriend very much, but everyday I question whether or not I should break up with her. Sometimes Ill feel like I want to break up with her and other times I feel like I want to marry her. It hasn't been as bad lately, but I would get very irritable (especially with my girlfriend) when she would talk sometimes. I am also constantly checking out other girls and wanting to sleep with them. Part of me thinks this has to do with my addiction to porn, but another part of me wonders if I just want out of this relationship. She is a great girl and I really do love her. I have come clean to her about my addiction and she has been supportive. I really don't want to lose her because she is a great girl, but I don't want to stay in a relationship if I truly do want to leave. Please help


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

my H struggles with porn. i think its because he's depressed and he wants to feel loved. he always says he just wants to feel good immediately. its almost like a drug. ive heard a lot of guys say they feel ansy after looking at a lot of porn. i think they become over stimulated and over frustrated. Its an imbalance in your life. 

Im sorry for your anxiety about staying with your girl or not. IMO, if you're not thinking of marrying someone and having kids with them then there's really no point in being together very long. If you're not ready to settle down with her then go out and meet other girls. get that out of your system first.


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## brimccla (Jan 26, 2011)

I do see myself marrying this girl though and having kids with her. But it just seems like Ive lost control though. Theres this girl I work with who I am attracted to but nothing more. She has very large breasts and sometimes thats all I can think about. I was looking on craigslist the other day through the casual encounters section and saw an ad for a guy offering oral sex and that sounded pretty tempting (keep in mind that I am not gay). The idea of engaging in risky sexual behavior sounds appealing to me a lot of the time but thats not the kind of life I want.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

brimccla said:


> I have a wonderful girlfriend who loves me very much and I love her very much too. We have been together for about 2 years. About 7 months ago I started to have really bad anxiety and almost broke up with my girlfriend because of it. Since then, I have felt depressed. My doctor put me on prozac about a week ago so I'm seeing if that will help. I am also a porn addict. I was this way since before I met my girlfriend but didn't realize my problem up until a couple of months ago. I love my girlfriend very much, but everyday I question whether or not I should break up with her. Sometimes Ill feel like I want to break up with her and other times I feel like I want to marry her. It hasn't been as bad lately, but I would get very irritable (especially with my girlfriend) when she would talk sometimes. I am also constantly checking out other girls and wanting to sleep with them. Part of me thinks this has to do with my addiction to porn, but another part of me wonders if I just want out of this relationship. She is a great girl and I really do love her. I have come clean to her about my addiction and she has been supportive. I really don't want to lose her because she is a great girl, but I don't want to stay in a relationship if I truly do want to leave. Please help


There must be something that your gf bugging you.
Sex became boring with her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

brimccla said:


> I do see myself marrying this girl though and having kids with her. But it just seems like Ive lost control though. Theres this girl I work with who I am attracted to but nothing more. She has very large breasts and sometimes thats all I can think about. I was looking on craigslist the other day through the casual encounters section and saw an ad for a guy offering oral sex and that sounded pretty tempting (keep in mind that I am not gay). The idea of engaging in risky sexual behavior sounds appealing to me a lot of the time but thats not the kind of life I want.


i believe sexual desires can be so strong that they will guide you without you really being able to control them. you're already taking steps to meet someone else. here's the thing: exploring with other people is fine, and it may be out of your control at this point in your life. You are already recognizing its a little out of control. At this point there may not be much you can do about it other then to learn from consequences as they accumulate over time. but there is one thing you can control: being HONEST. 

you must tell her how you feel and what you have been doing (craiglists, men, women at work, etc). I imagine there's things you're not even mentioning on here. You can tell her and you have every capability of doing so. If you calculate that you might lose her, you dont want to hurt her, and so you are not going to tell her then that goes beyond addiction because it is calculated. It is a calculated maneuver to keep what you want with complete disregard for her. Do not do that. You will lose her one way or another by hiding things. You can either be upfront about it and end it quickly, because she will leave you over this, or you can hide it, hurt her, hurt you, hurt many others and then she will leave you.


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## brimccla (Jan 26, 2011)

I have been honest with her. She knows that I have been questioning this relationship and I told her that one of the reasons is so I could go out and live out my sexual fantasies. I would never cheat on her so I never seriously considered meeting people on craigslist. When I am thinking clearly, I know that I want to be with her. The moment right after I get done looking at porn I feel guilt and shame and I just want her to hold me. I cant believe I ever let things get this bad and I hope that it doesnt ruin my relationship


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