# booze



## bh76 (Sep 28, 2012)

So I've noticed that my wife is more fun sexually after drinking a few shots of tequila. Is there a consensus on if my encouraging this healthy for our relationship or is it normal for most women to loosen up like this?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Brzon (Feb 6, 2013)

Sometimes I think my wife has internalized, in a Freudian sense, all the worst parts of the Catholic Church. She has a hard time enjoying herself, but a few drinks make it a lot easier.

I’d say go for it unless you’re encouraging her to become an alcoholic.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

SO and I like a drink or 2 in the evening, too many though and it has the opposite effect on having sex.
I can't see a problem with having a drink to loosen up, sometimes it is more about relaxing from the day and forgetting the other stuff that is swirling around in your head.
I have been know to txt him in the afternoon with a "want to get drunk tonight and have wild meaningless sex?" It is fun, we can get a bit crazy after a few.

We do however have plenty of sex when no drinks have been had and it is always wonderful.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

bh76 said:


> So I've noticed that my wife is more fun sexually after drinking a few shots of tequila. Is there a consensus on if my encouraging this healthy for our relationship or is it normal for most women to loosen up like this?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think it is ok as long as you are the only man who knows this.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Brzon said:


> Sometimes I think my wife has internalized, in a Freudian sense, all the worst parts of the Catholic Church. She has a hard time enjoying herself, but a few drinks make it a lot easier.
> 
> I’d say go for it unless you’re encouraging her to become an alcoholic.


I never learned my Latin .....

Mea Culpa.

I have been a recovering Catholic all my life.

Most of the Catholics I grew up with / around did their share of drinking.
I also maintained an affintiy for women dressed in plaid. Go figure.


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

Sure, turn her into a drunk and destroy her liver and possibly cause numerous other health issues including cancer, because it makes sex more fun for you.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

kindi said:


> Sure, turn her into a drunk and destroy her liver and possibly cause numerous other health issues including cancer, because it makes sex more fun for you.


The woman has a brain. She would be perfectly responsible for what she puts in her body so unless he is literally forcing alcohol down her throat he isnt turning her into anything.



OP my spouse and I enjoy a few drinks every now and then to loosen up. Its similar to what holland posted.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Gaia said:


> The woman has a brain. She would be perfectly responsible for what she puts in her body so unless he is literally forcing alcohol down her throat he isn't turning her into anything.


Unless she's a people pleaser then she will do whatever he wants to make him happy even if that means putting her own health at risk.

For the record I'm not against drinking in moderation. I can't because it's a depressant and I don't need any help with that. LOL Too much alcohol also ages you and I'm vain. I'd rather drink water. However I'm fun without the booze so we're good.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> Unless she's a people pleaser then she will do whatever he wants to make him happy even if that means putting her own health at risk.
> 
> For the record I'm not against drinking in moderation. I can't because it's a depressant and I don't need any help with that. LOL Too much alcohol also ages you and I'm vain. I'd rather drink water. However I'm fun without the booze so we're good.


Even people pleasers are responsible for themselves. I do agree moderation is best lol. I enjoy a drink though because I still get ridiculously shy from time to time or am really uptight. But in all seriousness I hardly think the OP intends to get his wife drunk every night just to please him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> I think it is ok as long as you are *the only man who knows this.*


LOL yeah sure. Doesn't everyone know alcohol lowers inhibition? I really am not trying to be snarky. I just can't help myself here. Actually, this is the serious part of my post.




Wait! Did you say boobs? or booze? LOL Yes, boobs do tend to loosen me up a little. LOL 

Sorry, couldn't help myself.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Brzon said:


> Sometimes I think my wife has internalized, in a Freudian sense, all the worst parts of the Catholic Church. She has a hard time enjoying herself.


Life long Catholic here, so is my wife. She must have missed those parts. She's still a freak even in her 50s. :smthumbup:


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

When we were young having a couple drinks did help you let your inhibitions down etc. 

Eventually, we found that drinking really detracts from good sex.. once you have finally gotten comfortable with your bodies and each other and are far beyond inhibitions and hagups and all that.

Big difference between 20 and 50. You will figure it out. I'd advise against leaning too much on the crutch of booze - your sex will be much better once you learn to do without. 'warming up' is one thing, pharmacological assistance is quite another.

yep..another former catholic here. Wife is one of those other fare-thee-well pseudo protestant religions.  We are mixed..probably the biggest challenge (I) have as a couple. I may have to start a thread on that.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Gaia said:


> Even people pleasers are responsible for themselves.


I agree....to a point. My husband is a people pleaser and would do anything for me. Even though yes he is responsible for himself that still doesn't give me the right to use this quality against him. That would make me a user. 

But you're right I doubt the OP is planning on getting her drunk every night but I do cringe at the thought of a few shots of tequila. To me that's a lot of booze but I am small and a light weight so I shouldn't judge others. One shot would make me pass out. I'm a woman who gets giddy after ONE lame glass of wine. LOL


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> Big difference between 20 and 50. You will figure it out. I'd advise against leaning too much on the crutch of booze


AMEN!! Almost 47 here and I know exactly what you mean. Booze isn't near as much fun now as it was when I was 20 or even 30. In fact it makes me feel WORSE and then sex isn't fun at all.

So he could take the stance of enjoy it while he can because it won't last.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Amplexor said:


> Life long Catholic here, so is my wife. She must have missed those parts. She's still a freak even in her 50s. :smthumbup:


I agree with this. I grew up Roman Catholic, but what you don't know is my dad was studying to be a priest. I think that had a whole bunch to do with how they raised me. I also think they wanted one of us boys to become a priest and that is why they did not tell me about sex. I can't prove it now because my dad has passe on...mum is close.

What I can say is, I can remember one of my older brothers telling me they pushed him toward becoming a priest. I can say that at around twelve years old, mum and dad took me to a seminary for Capuchin monks. I believe I had not yet reached puberty so the age I refer to may be wrong. If I didn't, I was close. I am certain of that.

My first wife was raised Roman Catholic. Her parents were no where near as strict. She was into many things which are not stereotypically expected. I may have made up my own word there. I hope you understand.

It is our upbringing, in my opinion, not our religion which affects us most. I looked for confirmation from my parents and whatever they believed is what I believed or considered to be worthy of great contemplation. These things can be changed. I must change my core beliefs, though. That is quite difficult unless I can prove that the things that are true, are actually not true. How do I do that? I don't know. I'm trying. I've been trying all my life.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Im not saying people pleasers should be used either and I agree with you on this matter. Of course a few shots of tequilla arent enough to make me personally pass out but they are enough to get me tipsy. Then again everyones idea of a shot varies.... Or so I learned... Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

I guess it would help to know OP's age and his wifes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bh76 (Sep 28, 2012)

Wow some strong opinions. Thanks. She doesn't get drunk necessarily so i don't think drinking in moderation a night or two per week is going to do too much damage. And i never force her to do anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

bh76 said:


> Wow some strong opinions. Thanks. She doesn't get drunk necessarily so i don't think drinking in moderation a night or two per week is going to do too much damage. And i never force her to do anything.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ummm, "a few shots of tequila" two nights per week isn't drinking in moderation. It's binge drinking. One drink each evening would be moderate drinking. 

And please be very careful about the degree to which you impress on her that you _prefer_ her when she's drunk. You don't want to send the message that she needs to be drunk in order to be desired, or that her real (sober) self isn't enough for you. My husband pushed a bit of that from time to time in our marriage. Trust me, nothing down _that_ road but crappy self-esteem for her and a bad sex life and marriage for the both of you.


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## bh76 (Sep 28, 2012)

Rowan said:


> And please be very careful about the degree to which you impress on her that you _prefer_ her when she's drunk. You don't want to send the message that she needs to be drunk in order to be desired, or that her real (sober) self isn't enough for you. My husband pushed a bit of that from time to time in our marriage. Trust me, nothing down _that_ road but crappy self-esteem for her and a bad sex life and marriage for the both of you.


Great point. I didn't say that it wasn't enjoyable without the loosening up. I certainly is.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

At one time I was a somewhat heavy drinker...8 oz of 90 proof bourbon every evening. This went on for years, and I enjoyed it. 

Now I drink a double at bedtime two- three times a month, and sometimes not for months...Never drink to the point of intoxication.

My wife almost never drinks. 1 glass of champagne on our wedding anniversary......When she has consumed more she gets silly and sexy and is LOTS of fun.....BUT, she seems VERY paranoid about drinking with me, alone at home. Once I asked "Do you think I am going to get you drunk and screw you"?

She didn't know how to answer me. I never drank with her before we married, so that was never my "stratagy" to get her in the sack. 

I think she would benefit from a couple of beers or a little wine to loosen up, but can't remember the last time it happened......:scratchhead:


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

It doesn't sound to me from what you've described that it's an issue. There is nothing wrong with a drink or two to lower inhibitions. If I sensed you were taking advantage of her after she drank herself into a stupor then I would be concerned.


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## brokenhearted118 (Jan 31, 2013)

Margarita for me please! It is a "sure" thing when margaritas are thrown into the mix.


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## Loyal Lover (Jan 30, 2013)

bh76, I agree with MaritimeGuy, the way you described it doesn't seem to be an issue.

Just make sure that you stay at a nice mild buzz (like others have said, too much will have the opposite effect, that and it may also make her/you emotional and other issues might come out <.<).

For me, this has actually helped me a LOT in my overall sex life. I was under the influence enough to lose my inhibitions but not too much that I didn't know what I was doing. I tried a lot of things I had been too shy to try before but was curious about and now, because I've done that before when I/we were buzzed, and I saw that my bf/stbh reacted so positively (that's an understatement, hee hee), it's so much easier for me to let go of my inhibitions even when we are both sober.  To me it sounds like, if done right, it will have the same effect on your wife.

It's very considerate of you to worry about this and ask.

Good luck and happy sex life!


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

Well, I'm a woman in my mid 40's and a glass or two of red wine has always made me feel quite in the mood.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

I love a few drinks but if its more than just a couple it causes some performance issues. I am being very honest. two is my limit if there is going to be things to do afterwards. I have learned this the hard way. I must say I enjoy that it makes it a challenge for the Mrs.


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

Happyquest said:


> I love a few drinks but if its more than just a couple it causes some performance issues. I am being very honest. two is my limit if there is going to be things to do afterwards. I have learned this the hard way. I must say I enjoy that it makes it a challenge for the Mrs.


:iagree:

45 and can't drink before. Not a problem when I was younger. I may drink after.

My wife likes a few drinks before if appropriate. (Vodka for breakfast or lunch is not wise). 

Regarding having more than one drink as "binge" drinking. Wow, just wow. I am speechless.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

StargateFan said:


> :iagree:
> 
> 45 and can't drink before. Not a problem when I was younger. I may drink after.
> 
> ...



No need to be speechless. 

I did not say that more than one was binge drinking. 

I did point out that the OP's "a few shots" of tequila a couple times a week is not, technically, drinking in moderation.


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

Rowan said:


> Ummm, "a few shots of tequila" two nights per week isn't drinking in moderation. It's binge drinking. One drink each evening would be moderate drinking.


I am sorry I misunderstood what you said. "Few" commonly means 3. So 3 is binge drinking. One drink is moderate. I don't know what you classify 2 as. 

Let me clarify my opinion. 

"a few shots of tequila" two nights per week isn't drinking in moderation. It's binge drinking. 

Wow, just wow. I am speechless.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I have a "few" drinks when I go out with my partner or with friends to dinner or a concert or whatever. Or an evening in. It's fun! That's the point.

I don't see anything wrong with drinks before sexy time, either, unless she HAS to drink in order to want sex with you.

Tequila is not my personal drink of choice, but to each his own.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

The binge drinking comments got me to go over to the CDC and see what they had to say.

Basically, they define binge drinking as ANY drinking that gets you over the legal driving limit of .08. So basically, if you ever get a good buzz, you're a binge drinker. 

I think most of us will agree this is a pretty meaningless definition.


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

Frequently people define a drink as 1oz of alcohol. Personally I think 1pz is just a total waste of calories. 1 oz is going to have zero effect. Why bother? 

I certainly understand why someone who is an alcoholic or has had to deal with one in their life can have a negative view if it. I don't understand why people attack it with throwing around words like binge drinking. Most people drink responsibly, some do not. Attack an individuals alcohol problem. 

I agree that most science shows alcohol is not to healthy for you with the exception of a glass or two of red wine. Most food we eat produced by modern industrial agricultural methods is not healthy either. Grain fed beef and chicken lacks omega 3. Refined sugar is really bad for you. High fructose corn sugar is really really bad for you. I still like to enjoy a Coke or Pepsi and who doesn't eat ice cream.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

On a Friday or Saturday evening after we get our young boys into bed early my wife and I would often enjoy a few glasses of wine before going to bed. 

This ritual has easily allowed my wife's inhibitions go away where our intimacy is quite passionate and she would allow her mind to be the naughty little bad girl she so wants to be but can't due to our society's standards ??!?!!?

Our neighborhood liquor store has benefited from our Friday or Saturday night evenings this way !!!


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Nothing wrong with having some on occasion to get someone in the mood.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

gbrad said:


> Nothing wrong with having some on occasion to get someone in the mood.


In the mood and allows her to let go of her inhibitions ....... she becomes very open to the naughty things I'd suggest during our Pillow Talks and she says " nooo way "


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Omgitsjoe said:


> In the mood and allows her to let go of her inhibitions ....... she becomes very open to the naughty things I'd suggest during our Pillow Talks and she says " nooo way "


Well if it gets you that far then more power to you. For me; its just a matter of getting me in the mood so I am excited to have sex with her.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

gbrad said:


> Well if it gets you that far then more power to you. For me; its just a matter of getting me in the mood so I am excited to have sex with her.


If that's what it takes then please do enjoy the drinks !! Does she enjoy a drink or two also prior to the both of you having intimacy ?? Its a nice " relaxer " for some folks !?


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Omgitsjoe said:


> If that's what it takes then please do enjoy the drinks !! Does she enjoy a drink or two also prior to the both of you having intimacy ?? Its a nice " relaxer " for some folks !?


No, she doesn't drink often. I try to get her to sometimes thoug.


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