# Wife looks at watch



## JohnDoe2012 (Nov 29, 2012)

So I am in a bad marriage, been trying for years to resolve the issues, I have other posts discussing details. Today I convinced her to talk for 15 minutes. While I was trying to discuss the issues, she kept looking at her watch. What dies that say about her? Does she care?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

No one can know what she is thinking. Here are some things that came to mind:

1. She has an appointment and is concerned she will be late.

2. She is doing something that she wants to continue once a certain amount of time has passed to let it set or dry or bake or ??

3. She is waiting for someone to contact her.

4. She has told someone she will contact them at a certain time.

5. She has no respect for you or your opinion and is trying to show you that.

I believe this last point to be more true than any. Even if she has a modicum of respect, she will let you know she has something to do that is more important to her at the moment. She will not show this kind of patronizing display of disrespect. Sorry, that's my opinion.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I vote mostly number #5. 

My marriage comes first and whenever one of us needs to talk, the other listens. It doesn't matter what time of day it is. Things get resolved immediately around here. Although, issues rarely come up. It's about respect. Your wife is showing you that she's not putting the effort into your marriage as she should be.

If her looking at her watch bugged you, it should of been discussed at the time. Maybe she isn't aware how important it is for you to have her undivided attention.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

Number 5 is bang on - it's rude and she knows it and she doesn't care


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## JohnDoe2012 (Nov 29, 2012)

Thank you all. I vote #5 too. She had to be somewhere but had 2 hours before having to go, I just asked for 15 minutes. She does it all the time, anyway, when I try to talk to her. She texts, too.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You're trying to talk to the wrong woman.


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Do you find that you are going on a rant when you're talking to her? Sometimes my H goes on these rants when he's trying to get a point across to me. It can last up to 20 minutes sometimes lol I tend to check the time and sometimes get a little irritated by it and I have checked my watch before just to show he's pushing us for time. 

I guess I'll have to check out your other posts


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## JohnDoe2012 (Nov 29, 2012)

somethingelse said:


> Do you find that you are going on a rant when you're talking to her? Sometimes my H goes on these rants when he's trying to get a point across to me. It can last up to 20 minutes sometimes lol I tend to check the time and sometimes get a little irritated by it and I have checked my watch before just to show he's pushing us for time.
> 
> I guess I'll have to check out your other posts


Good point. Yeah, sometimes I do rant. And she tells me she "doesn't want to hear it". But she takes that negative attitude right from the beginning. And when I ask her to say something, she either stays silent or says she "doesn't have the answers". I suppose a mediator (counselor) would help, but I don't think she would respond to that either, and anyway at this point I don't think my feelings can come back. The only conversations we should be having now are 1) how to do the divorce, or 2) stay together for the sake if our daughter but discuss how we (me) can cope with a loveless, sexless marriage for our remaining years.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

JD,

Don't stay in a relationship like this for your daughter. Do you want her to think that the type of relationship you have with your wife is what she should expect? Don't you think she'll know the two of you are miserable?

Remember that children would rather be from a broken home than live in one


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

JohnDoe2012 said:


> Good point. Yeah, sometimes I do rant. And she tells me she "doesn't want to hear it". But she takes that negative attitude right from the beginning. And when I ask her to say something, she either stays silent or says she "doesn't have the answers". I suppose a mediator (counselor) would help, but I don't think she would respond to that either, and anyway at this point I don't think my feelings can come back. The only conversations we should be having now are 1) how to do the divorce, or 2) stay together for the sake if our daughter but discuss how we (me) can cope with a loveless, sexless marriage for our remaining years.


Your W sounds a bit like me. I'm usually pretty easy going and listen for a long time, but sometimes when I'm tired or already irritated I don't like to sit and be ranted at for more than 5 minutes. I tell him he's ranting and it just sets him off more. It's like he's my dad and I'm getting a lecture. 
But I can be pretty bull headed sometimes too 

A mediator helps sometimes. We've never had one before, but I'm sure it would benefit to some degree.


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## brightlight (Feb 18, 2013)

Even without the context of the talk, looking at her watch like that when you were talking is very rude.

It would wind me up no end.

This piece of information tells me a lot about her. She sounds a bit childish.


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## AIP (Mar 31, 2013)

Depends on the situation. One possible scenario: If you were yelling at, condescending to, insulting her, and so on, then checking her watch would be a mild and understandable reaction. If you were sincerely trying to discuss the issues calmly, and she does this kind of thing often, then yes it's a sign of disrespect.


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## JohnDoe2012 (Nov 29, 2012)

AIP said:


> Depends on the situation. One possible scenario: If you were yelling at, condescending to, insulting her, and so on, then checking her watch would be a mild and understandable reaction. If you were sincerely trying to discuss the issues calmly, and she does this kind of thing often, then yes it's a sign of disrespect.


It was a sincere, calm effort.


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