# I’m really confused



## James01 (Feb 2, 2018)

I’m really confused sorry for such a long post but i really need advice . Me and my wife have been married for 2 years and been dating for 6 years. When we first met we was casually dating nothing serious and i asked her how did she feel about a 3 sum with another girl she declined . Later on in relationship she told me she Almost blocked me and stopped talking to me because i asked . She said she has stop talking to guys because they asked . She also has a Bestfriend and they known each other for awhile one day i made a joke that they prolly eat each other out when i say she went off !!! Omg she let me have it and said don’t ever disrespect her like that again. She is funny about things like that for instance i asked can we go to hooters before and she cussed me out and said no she’s not about to be around woman who degrade themselves. She also told me b4 we got married if i have a Bachelor party with strippers the wedding is off . She broke up with me when she found out i went to strip club in past . Also she told me she had a friend when she was around 19 and the girl grabbed her butt in a joking manner and she cut ties off with her. Last example i remember a couple years ago we was talking about swingers and stuff she was so disgusted by it and shunned woman who would participate in such acts but I’ll say over last year like we would see stuff her n there about swingers and she just don’t seem disgusted any more . She is open to it i can tell she will never admit it i know my wife and since she was so against in past she will never go back on how she was ( sorry for such long post )

Now here’s why I’m confused about a hour ago we was talking about sex she said she wants to try new things .. so she said she wanted to **** me in VIP room of strip club that is really weird seeing as how she is such Against strippers. She asked would be alone i said yes and then i said if a stripper was n there we would have to pay so i said i wanna see one eat ur ass and she is ok with it. Now some guys reading this would be excited and maybe i would if she wasn’t so against it. It’s just really bothering me why is she so open to this now and i will be honest about why. I am very insecure about my penis size now my wife and i have talked about this and she said frankly she wouldn’t have two kids and marry somebody if she wasn’t satisfied with their sex and penis size . Other females rave about my sex n pAst but it’s like the really pretty girl who thinks she ugly 823883872 men can tell her she’s pretty if within her self she don’t feel pretty she will not think so I’m the same way with me penis size. The last couple times we had sex was really great she’s text me At work like Last night was amazing . But honestly I’m thinking i don’t satisfy her and maybe that’s why she is so open to stuff she’s always been against . I know I’m probably over thinking due to my insecure ways but it’s really weird right ? I’m also thinking maybe she cheated and did this stuff with another guy and wants to try with me now smh i know i shouldn’t think like this but she usually stands firm on stuff and to see her like this is really weird and honestly kind of disturbing what do u guys think ?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I may be wrong but I think your wife can sense something is wrong and is willing to do things of a sexual manner WITH YOU that she is not comfortable with.She maybe sees you losing interest in her and your insecurities about your penis size aren’t helping.
Have a talk with her and try and ascertain is she willing to do these things because she really wants to,or is it just to please you.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Maybe she is willing to fantasize, and has no real interest in actually doing it. Maybe she is figuring out thinking something isn’t the same as doing it?

No idea.

Have you considered therapy for yourself and for both of you as a couple? 

Why would you suggest things which make you insecure about yourself and your marriage? When your wife finally relents and goes along with some of your ideas you get worried? So why did you make the suggestions? To cause problems?


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## James01 (Feb 2, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> I may be wrong but I think your wife can sense something is wrong and is willing to do things of a sexual manner WITH YOU that she is not comfortable with.She maybe sees you losing interest in her and your insecurities about your penis size aren’t helping.
> Have a talk with her and try and ascertain is she willing to do these things because she really wants to,or is it just to please you.


Well no i can say i don’t think that’s the case i LOVE having sex with her i don’t even kook another female way. Not now she says she likes being nasty with me and that’s why she is willing to do i.t maybe I’m just over thinking


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## James01 (Feb 2, 2018)

WilliamM said:


> Maybe she is willing to fantasize, and has no real interest in actually doing it. Maybe she is figuring out thinking something isn’t the same as doing it?
> 
> No idea.
> 
> ...



No i just really over think things . And I’m scared that she is not satisfied with me or she has cheating it’s not just weird she was so against strip clubs and girl or girl now is is open to it. Now i would understand if i was dis attached to her sexually and she trying to save us . But i only mentioned 3 sum once before me and her was dating and she made it clear now it to again . When we talked about swingers i was never open to it and she made it seem like the most disgusting thing in the world so now that she’s open to all this has me wondering


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I think you really need to sit down and talk with her about why the change of heart since she was so strongly against it. If you are worried she is cheating, you need to start investigating (look at her phone/texts, computer usage, etc.).

BTW, if you DO investigate, do NOT let her know you found anything until you have all the info -- don't just jump at anything suspicious.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

The reason your wife was against those things you mentioned is because she sounds like she has good character.

If you continue with this idiotic desire to introduce her into other things, you will likely lose her.

Why you would even consider wanting to see a stripper touch YOUR wife, is beyond me.

Next, I guess you’ll say you’d like to see some guy with a big **** bang your wife because you want to see her happy.

I have no advice other than to put a stop to your childish fantasies and thank God that your wife isn’t into all the crap you’d like her to be. She just wants you, for whatever reason. Be thankful and do everything you can to satisfy her, and you’ll both be happy.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I would never allow anyone to touch my W intimately, allowing another woman to have mucus membrane to mucus membrane contact, ie mouth parts, vagina, anus, with your W is a good way to transmit HPV, and even more dangerous if the person is a sex worker like a stripper. 

Tamat


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

I'm with Andy. I think your wife is trying to placate you by talking about "exploring" the strip club. 

You knew from the beginning that she was anti-threesome, and she dropped a female friend for jokingly grabbing her ass. She was no mystery, but you married her, thinking she would change.

I don't see this heading anywhere healthy or good for either of you.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are the two of you?


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

*Re: I’m really confused*



introvert said:


> You knew from the beginning that she was anti-threesome, and she dropped a female friend for jokingly grabbing her ass. She was no mystery, but you married her, thinking she would change.


Could be that him badgering her about 3-somes which involved females, and him talking about swinging, she started to think that she's not bi-sexual and therefore not interested in another female, but would be willing to try a male. For safety and avoid the complications of a friend, I'd recommend they use a male escort to "entertain" her while he watches to see if they enjoy that sort of thing. A professional would know how to mitigate the "jitters" they would have on their first trip and make it a positive and pleasant experience for both if them.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

*Re: I’m really confused*



VladDracul said:


> Could be that him badgering her about 3-somes which involved females, and him talking about swinging, she started to think that she's not bi-sexual and therefore not interested in another female, but would be willing to try a male. For safety and avoid the complications of a friend, I'd recommend they use a male escort to "entertain" her while he watches to see if they enjoy that sort of thing. A professional would know how to mitigate the "jitters" they would have on their first trip and make it a positive and pleasant experience for both if them.


I disagree, vampire. 
I think she's been beaten down by the constant badgering by hubs. She seems totally vanilla, and he was wrong to assume he could make her otherwise.

Do you seriously think you are a vampire?


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

*Re: I’m really confused*

Laughing my ass off at that one! A dude thinks he is seriously a vampire!


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: I’m really confused*



introvert said:


> Laughing my ass off at that one! A dude thinks he is seriously a vampire!


I suggest you go check the history books. That the person picked that user name makes no suggestion that he is referring to a fairy tale character.

Vlad Tepes
Vlad the Impaler
Vlad III

All the same person, used as basis for the book character.

ETA: OP needs to quit badgering his wife and let her be who she is.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Typical nice guy sh*t

"Babe, why don't we have a threesome or let your friend eat you out?"

"Babe I can't believe you want me to bang you at a strip club! Are you satisfied with my size?"

You're getting laid, just enjoy it. Stop with the extra stuff


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## [email protected] (Mar 1, 2018)

Let's separate the issues.

First, you have some kind of complex about your weiner. You need to deal with that separately.

Why you would bring it up in the context of expanding your sexual playground - that is just symptomatic of your insecurity.


I am far older now than when I first got married and I am cool with things that would have mortified me at 22. People can change as they become older, and are more willing to try out new things. 

You do not seem like a good candidate for extra-marital romps with your insecurities. Me - holy ****, I have a LOT of fun with girlfriends. They are experiences of a lifetime. 

With you, forgive me but nothing seems good enough. Something is wrong with her being so against threesomes and something is wrong with willing to try it.


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