# That moment when...



## ItsGonnabeAlright (Nov 19, 2012)

What was it like when you said to yourself, okay, that's it, I'm going to file?
Obviously, emotions are crazy, one day you're angry, the next day you're not, some days you think, well, maybe I shouldn't divorce, etc. But in the end it all goes back to, 'I should divorce.' You know it's what you must do. Today, I interviewed a potential divorce lawyer, to represent me. 
Did you guys feel relief? fear? disbelief? sadness? 

And then of course, I am sure, there is the awkwardness of having to be around the person you just had served.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

it is awkward and a bag full of mixed emotions that run the gamut but you finally eat dinner and go to bed and wake up and it is a new day. we each get through these things the best we can. there is no single formula.


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## Left With 4.5 (Aug 4, 2012)

I remember the first time got the papers to fill out. I was shaking and couldn't look at it more than 10 seconds at a time. I also remember seeing a lawyer for the first time. I was scared and felt sad that it was coming to this, but I knew it was something that I wanted and had to be done. It got easier each time I worked on my divorce papers and each time I talked to a lawyer. It takes time and now that i'm waiting out my 6 month waiting period, I feel stronger and not as emotional as when all this started.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

I see my atty. on friday next week...I'm dreading the long drive. dreading the entire visit..the whole thing...scared to death...I can't even eat...hated his voice on the phone. Hate that I'm going through this. All the crap I have to gather...my stbxh wants this so bad why doesn't 'he' do it?! Is there some big aZZ advantage to being the one to file? I'm stuck with all the friggin bills anyway...he's left me high and dry...for sure. 
I don't feel relief. I feel ill.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

It was a very hard choice for me to do.

I went home the Friday before (I was to do it on the following Monday) a few hours early from work and went to a friends house.

Chilled with him and his girlfriend. Had a few beers.

At about 10pm that night I got a text from the ex, requesting that I no longer show up to our daughters activities on the weekend during "her time" with the kids.

I declined, as I have every right to attend my children's events .. especially seeing how I paid half of it.

That sealed it for me.

An asinine request such as that.

I also held the $1500 retainer cash in my wallet for almost 2 weeks.

Walked around everywhere with it.

It's a lot of money, I recall stressing out about even spending it.

My thought was "if I could go around 2 weeks with the money and not buy anything, I would use it for the retainer".

Monday I gave the money and filed.

Called in sick to work that evening too.

Then it took almost a month for her to finally get served.

Best choice I ever made.

Made it for me.


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## HeartbrokenW (Sep 26, 2012)

On Sept 16, my stbxh decided he didn't want to be married anymore. I begged and pleaded with him to work on our marriage. Finally on Oct 2nd, I met with a lawyer and filed. If he wants a divorce, he was going to get one. It was the best decision I made. Due to his drug use, he wound up in the hospital on Oct 20 and again Oct 30, to the tune of $25000 or so in medical bills. he had already signed the marital settlement agreement which stated that we were each responsible for our own uncovered medical expenses as of Oct 2. That day drew the line in the sand ...The hospital and doctor bills are all on him.


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

My wife told me she was in love with a co-worker on may 4th of this year. She left home 2 weeks later and moved into her own apartment, continuing the affair. All summer long she was "undecided", not sure what she wanted to do. She asked me to give her until sept 1 to decide. I foolishly played along, hoping she would come back to me.

Well, 3rd week of August she announces that she and the OM will be moving in together. That did it, I got a lawyer and filed immediately. She still told me that she needed more time. Unbelievable. I didn't flinch and went through with the D and have 60 days until it's final.

Since I filed, she has told me that she still loves me and knows she made a mistake leaving, but no request to R. Filing has given me control over my life, forced me to detach from her and move forward. Being in limbo is the worst place to be.


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