# How often do you have sex with your partner? And is it more or less than you prefer?



## cyclone (Jul 7, 2014)

Pretty much the title here folks.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Minimum of once a week. Totally my issues, too much work or tired. Mrs. Conan has increased her libido in the last year or two and tries to seduce me at least 6 out of 7 days. When I am not on a difficult project, I can go several times a day.

I am very satisfied and Mrs. Conan could probably go for more play consistently.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyWife (Aug 6, 2014)

Minimum 2-3x per week. Hubby & I are both content and that's all that really matters


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

It's rare for us to go a day without sex. Unless we are so busy that we don't have time to breathe, or so exhausted that we'd probably die if we tried, it's happening.

I have nothing to complain about. If I were the sole initiator, we'd probably only go at it 2-3 times a week. My husband, however... if one of us has to go away for work or something for more than a few days, he will be calling me, crying about the state of his balls. He's more high maintenance than me.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Together 15 years now, and still 6 to 10 times a week. I wouldn't mind more, but we are both quite content overall, and both initiate about the same amount.


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## Joey2k (Oct 3, 2014)

Once a month if I'm lucky. She claims she wants to work on it and came up with the idea to have a scheduled sex night once a week. That lasted a few weeks, but it's looking like that is getting blown off due to lack of interest on her part.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

We're having sex now (post D-Day if you can figure that one out) about once per week. I'd be happy with more often, but I'm not complaining. My wife will be starting BHRT next week and just the other day when we were "done" she says to me "You think you can handle me once I'm on BHRT?" with a wry grin on her face. I replied with "I'm definitely "up" for the challenge darlin." *giggle*


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

We haven't had sex in two years - sex is not on her radar. Totally asexual - claims that she needs to drink to have sex, but when she drinks (not often) sex doesn't happen. I've given up worrying about it. She also thinks it's too much work and when you're finished, you need to clean up (she is lazy, not just in this but in everything). Easier to grab her phone or computer and play games.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

STBX and I haven't had sex since Christmas vaca, but when I'm in a good relationship, I (female) prefer 2-3 times/week. I'm probably kinda LD since even though I miss it because of the emotional connection it provides, I'm not going nuts not having it. I'm totally repulsed by my STBX's behavior and treatment of me, and not attracted to anyone else at the moment, so I guess that might have something to do with it. This is the longest I've gone without sex in 19 years. I'm kinda afraid of getting back into the game eventually once I finally move out (house hunting now, moving out by July).


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## sheberiding (Apr 11, 2015)

Far less than I prefer. We only do it 2-4 times a year. Over about 22 years. We have gone 12 months once and 18 months another time with no sex. I told her we qualify as being in a sexless marriage. She got angry and tried to deny it. I told her to google it and I sent her a bunch of links. She gets it now and we are research ways to fix it.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

We've been kind of all over the map this past year. Usually 2-3 times a week. Sometimes if His traveling too much it might only be once, sometimes I'm care taking for relatives and that brings it down to once as well. If H can get any time off of work it will be four or five times a week. Just depends on life I guess.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Giro flee said:


> We've been kind of all over the map this past year. Usually 2-3 times a week. Sometimes if His traveling too much it might only be once, sometimes I'm care taking for relatives and that brings it down to once as well. If H can get any time off of work it will be four or five times a week. Just depends on life I guess.


I think this is a far more normal/average scenario than some of the posts/answers at the beginning of this thread....


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## Illbehisfoolagain (May 7, 2012)

Fairly new relationship here, and we are at a minimum of once a day, started out at like 3-4 times a day in the very beginning, and as much as I love it that much, in reality neither of us has the time for that LOL! I think we will settle into probably 2 times a day, with maybe a 3rd quickie as often as we have time for LOL.


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## woundedwarrior (Dec 9, 2011)

Our average is every 5-6 weeks, but we can go 3x a month sometimes & skip months at a time at others.

We always end up at 16-25 times for the year, at least for the past 5.


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## cyclone (Jul 7, 2014)

Illbehisfoolagain said:


> Fairly new relationship here, and we are at a minimum of once a day, started out at like 3-4 times a day in the very beginning, and as much as I love it that much, in reality neither of us has the time for that LOL! I think we will settle into probably 2 times a day, with maybe a 3rd quickie as often as we have time for LOL.


How new?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

When Mrs.CuddleBug and I were dating, we had oral sex about 3 - 4x every week and she always swallows. I remember asking her, I'm about to go, do you want me to stop? She said no and go in my mouth and she always swallows but I have her fav drink nearby, chocolate almond milk for right away afterwards. She even burps and laughs.....

Then we got married, we got birth control and the sex was 1x a month to once every 1.5 months!!! This lasted for years and we pretty much divorced because the lack of sex pretty much almost killed our marriage.

Over the years, and especially the last year, Mrs.CuddleBug now has lost weight, getting in shape, braces straightened her teeth, new clothes and hairstyles and the sex has gone to 2x week on average.

She still is LD vanilla and turns me down 99% of the time so I stopped initiating long ago.

2x week on average is better than once every month to 1.5 months.

I am HD adventurous and could easily have sex 1x every day 7 days week and even multiple times a day once in a while. And I love oils and toys.


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## rguidry87 (Oct 15, 2014)

my husband and i are both 27 years old. been together 5 years total but married 3 years. we have 2 children 7 years old and 1 year old. he is a boat captain amd works offshore on a 28/14 schedule. during his 14 days home we have sex definately once a day sometimes more.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

My husband an d I have been married almost 29 years. We average about 3 -4 times per week.


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## AlphaMale74 (Oct 15, 2014)

18 years married. We average 3 times per week.


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

Every other day and would prefer some more but overall will be happy to stick with 3 to 4 a week long term (been together about 16 months)


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## salespro (Jan 15, 2014)

Married 35 years, no sex in 7 years. Wife isn't interested and I gave up trying.


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## Illbehisfoolagain (May 7, 2012)

cyclone said:


> How new?


Less than 5 months. We both have pretty high sex drives though.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
it has varied a lot. We tend to reconnect and have sex a few times a week, then it gradually (over years) declines to 1/month. Then (2x now) it get restarted after a conversation.

Personally, every other day would be about ideal for me, but more often would be fine. Less than 2x/week and I'm less happy and less than 1x/week and I get withdrawn and depressed.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Once a week if I'm lucky. And never without me having to remind him how long its been since the last time. 

Id be happy with 3-4 times a week but it aint gonna happen.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Average about 10 times per week, I'm good with that. He is 54, I am 48. Both from past marriages that were technically sexless.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Together 33 yrs / married 25+... I'm late 40's, he's 3 yrs older.. 4 to 5 times a week... I still keep one of these >>









We've had more romping in Mid life than ever in our marriage... more a few yrs ago when my Sex drive was on fire.. he couldn't keep up.. today our drives are equal.. his even a little higher I'd have to say... it's something I'm always wanting to "work up"...we both feel it's the "highlight" of the day ..


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

I am surprised how many people keep a track of how many times they do it?.... I always have to think when the question is asked because its not something i think about.

Sometimes we have it 2 or 3 times a week, we can go without it for a whole week not think anything of it, but we have also been known to have it nearly every night in a week, so for us it varies.

Were both happy with our sex life tho, we have it when we have it, in other words we have it whenever one of us wants it.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

We probably average twice a week? Sometimes three? I would like more but my husband works 24 hour shifts, (right now he's working 4 in a row) or sometimes he doesn't wake me up, (I go to bed before him).


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

melw74 said:


> *I am surprised how many people keep a track of how many times they do it?*.... I always have to think when the question is asked because its not something i think about.


My reason for keeping track is something a little different....to deal with my higher sex drive / how emotional I got when I started worrying he was "slowing down"... I was fretting about my H's TEST levels (had him tested - Doc telling us his levels were normal for a man in his 60's when he was just 45!...but still within range, so no treatment)... that comment bothered me for months.....

I would get antsy & start thinking he didn't desire me, there was a point I caused him some performance pressure (Yes, awful of me, I know!)...we waded through that... 

So by keeping a sex calender ... it helped me see I was basically CRAZY for thinking we weren't having enough sex -just opening those pages & seeing all those days circled...this told me ...."My H is FINE, he doesn't need Test therapy...Life is GOOD!" -even if I wanted more (that was MY issue!).....this eased my mind, helped me calm down, shut up...and be thankful..

I didn't keep one for the last few yrs...then he asked me a month ago.. Why not.. His idea this time. 

We both have the mindset .. "*Use it or Loose it*".. we'd like to keep it going.. don't want to slow down.. Good for his TEST too!


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

There's no need to keep track for us - yet. If things slow down, we may start, because it may mean we need to have our hormone levels checked and adjusted. No doubt at some point we'll just slow down some, but as long as we're both okay with that - it's okay.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Just a slight detour here, but I had a thought pop in my head about a month ago. I've found that the frequency and quality of sex tends to go down right after the first of year then it picks up as the year progresses. I haven't really pinpointed why but then I haven't put any great thought in it yet. Has anyone else had this experience?


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## Ohso lonely (Apr 5, 2015)

Once in eight YEARS!


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## CS7 (Apr 1, 2015)

Married 10 years. We do it 2-3x per week, unless she's on her period and then she might give me a BJ or two during that time. I'm not complaining because this is much better than it has been in several years and the sex has been getting better and better as well. I'd like more, but I can live with this frequency as long as the quality keeps improving.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Holland said:


> Average about 10 times per week, I'm good with that. He is 54, I am 48. Both from past marriages that were technically sexless.


from 0 to 60 in 12.7 sec. not bad! congrats


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

melw74 said:


> I am surprised how many people keep a track of how many times they do it?.... I always have to think when the question is asked because its not something i think about.
> 
> Sometimes we have it 2 or 3 times a week, we can go without it for a whole week not think anything of it, but we have also been known to have it nearly every night in a week, so for us it varies.
> 
> Were both happy with our sex life tho, we have it when we have it, in other words we have it whenever one of us wants it.


I'm one of those who keeps a list. I tend to like to document a lot of things in my life, so it's not too unusual for me.

A couple of reasons I document sex, is that I also write brief comments on how it went, just to have some information data base to use if I need it.

the other reason is mrs. HD. I keep a log so I know (or try to know) that i'm keeping her satisfied, not neglecting her.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

jorgegene said:


> I'm one of those who keeps a list. I tend to like to document a lot of things in my life, so it's not too unusual for me.
> 
> A couple of reasons I document sex, is that I also write brief comments on how it went, just to have some information data base to use if I need it.
> 
> the other reason is mrs. HD. I keep a log so I know (or try to know) that i'm keeping her satisfied, not neglecting her.


Nothing wrong with lists... I have one every week on a Tuesday when i do my shopping... But how many times i have sex would not be a sort of list i would be interested in making, For me its spontaneous, if we was not to have sex for a couple of days its no biggie, same goes if we were to have 4 times one week.... But its not something i would keep a check on, or like you do a list.

Not saying there is anything wrong with your way of thinking each to their own, its not really for me to say what others do. i just find it strange that people keep a check on how many times they do it....

The last time i had it was saturday, but like i say its not really something i keep a number on.... It happens when it happens for me.... when the mood takes us.

The thing is my husband and I would never look on it as neglecting each other if we never had it for a while, I love sex, but there is so much more to our relationship than just that... Of course its BIG part, but we never neglect either needs, Like i have said before if there something my hubby wants i am more than happy to give it to him, and vice versa.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

I initiate sex.

I get pretty grossed out by the rapey feel of it. Try to abstain, but,

I initiate sex again 6 months later.

I get pretty grossed out by the rapey feel of it. Try to abstain but,

I initiate sex again10 months later.

I get pretty grossed out by the ra...


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

MachoMcCoy said:


> I initiate sex.
> 
> I get pretty grossed out by the rapey feel of it. Try to abstain, but,
> 
> ...


I've been through this. It sucks.

We've been averaging 1/week for the past couple of months. My drive has been tanking the last couple of weeks however so I don't know that I could project what's going to happen from here.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Everyday. Barring illness or lack of proximity. 

I'm pretty good with everyday and the occasional twice a day.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

My sweetheart is a very sexual being. We wake up with a sexual encounter of some variety essentially everyday (usually not to completion. I am not that easy in the early hours) and finish in the afternoon or evening. 3-5 PM seems to be magical for her. So I would say 10 times a week or more.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Target: 3-4 times a week, practice because of evening obligations, tiredness, 2-3 times a week. Trying to free up time and energy to get back on track though.

Just scheduling it will enhance your sex life enourmous. Take time for the Kama Sutra style!

edit:

So I prefer a little more, but only if we have the time for quality play.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

It varies. Our "norm" is maybe once a week(my husband seems good with that), but on good weeks it wold be about 5 times a week. I would like it to be almost daily, but I don't know if it will ever be at that point.


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## CASE_Sensitive (Jul 22, 2013)

Anywhere from 1 - 3 times per month.
I'm a passive aggressive beta.


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

I am glad to see so many that have a healthy sex life, I am extremely envious. I would truly enjoy a couple of times a week. To all of you, enjoy!

I don't remember the last time we had sex. After she told me that "you take to long" and "our experimental phase is over" plus a bunch of rejections, I pretty much stopped caring. Quite a few issues in our marriage of which this is just one.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

C3156 said:


> I am glad to see so many that have a healthy sex life, I am extremely envious. I would truly enjoy a couple of times a week. To all of you, enjoy!
> 
> I don't remember the last time we had sex. After she told me that "you take to long" and "our experimental phase is over" plus a bunch of rejections, I pretty much stopped caring. Quite a few issues in our marriage of which this is just one.


I do not understand this, you may be to passive in expressing and hunting down what YOU want in life.

Love the other like you love YOURSELF is the job we have to do. 

If she is not fullfilling her part of the marriage vows, why would you keep yours?


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## tangled123 (Jan 18, 2015)

H is 46 and I'm 38, married 16 yrs. we can do it 5x a week if we are not busy. If we are busy I can go on for upto 10 days but catch myself thinking about it frequently. This rarely happens. I guess H will DIY if I'm busy. The longest we have been without sex is when he used to travel (max 3 months at a time)


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

both 52, married 25 years, once a month...  would be happy with once a week!


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## Redheadguy (Jul 30, 2014)

Both 39. I need some kind of intimacy about 5x a week. She seems happy with and pulls everything to once a week or less.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Married nearly 15 years. As we had kids the amounts of times went down. However, the 3rd kid (about 20 months now) has pretty much killed everything right now. A good month is 1-2x a month. As much as it would be nice, I don't feel like we need to have sex ED or EOD, but honestly feel that 1-2x a week would be more ideal. Obviously right now I am not too happy at all at where things are, and especially in the long haul I don't see any way this is a positive for our marriage.


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## MYM1430 (Nov 7, 2011)

Married 15 years. Every other month or so. We both would like more but can't seem to be able to get back in the saddle.


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## Wiredtired (Apr 16, 2015)

Joey2K, I'm right there with you, man. I'm lucky to have sex once every three weeks. She once told me (fairly recent) that having sex and doing the dishes are about equal. Ouch! My future looks bleak!!


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## Wiredtired (Apr 16, 2015)

ChargingCharlie,

There's one food that has been confirmed by scientists to kill a woman's libido - wedding cake. I think my wife had too much of it. Sounds like your wife did also.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

Wiredtired said:


> ChargingCharlie,
> 
> There's one food that has been confirmed by scientists to kill a woman's libido - wedding cake. I think my wife had too much of it. Sounds like your wife did also.


Ha, yep, that's right on. Saw your comment where your wife equates sex with doing the dishes - sounds familiar. Amazing to think that this is the same woman that would shower with me almost every day and walked up to me on our wedding night wearing nothing but a nightie and we proceeded to have great sex. Now sex equates to work and is just such a chore, and as for wearing a nightie, no way. Now she dresses like a slob and doesn't care.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Doing the dishes is the British version of foreplay.


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## Wiredtired (Apr 16, 2015)

Personal said:


> I can't say I share the same opinion regarding wedding cake and the libido of women or men.
> 
> My wife and I did it twice yesterday once in the morning after we had a shower and again in the evening when we went to bed.
> 
> ...


LOL. Your wife has a natural immunity to the effects of wedding cake.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Wiredtired said:


> Joey2K, I'm right there with you, man. I'm lucky to have sex once every three weeks. She once told me (fairly recent) that having sex and doing the dishes are about equal. Ouch! My future looks bleak!!


So she only washes the dishes once every three weeks? Ewww!


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