# back together after 4 months of separation....



## sailingthrough (May 25, 2011)

a little background....marriage is a little over 1.5 yrs out of which 4 months of separation...we r back together after much talking and reconciling and understanding issues and how husband and i should work things out....was not easy...

during our separation i tried to call my husbands best friend for help and he clearly ignored me and listened to my husband that he should answer me...after we got back together i found out that my husband shares everything with his best friend....hes planning to attend to his best friends wedding in a couple of days and after confronting him for a month now that how come his best friend has not apologized to me for not being there......and i dont believe that he has even discussed this with him....then i ask him to call his best friend in front of me....my husband says ok...so all of this was me chatting with my husband....

..immediately after that i log into my husbands chat account and find everything we spoke copied and pasted to his best friend and saying do not answer my phns today evening, call you from work, u take it easy, talk soon

clearly he lied to me and didnt admit that hes sharing everything his best friend and so i showed his own chat and he says....hes feels that to begin with i have an unrealistic and childish expectation/demand for my best friend to apologize while we were separated and that i should not carry a grudge cause its in the past...further he says even after that after agreeing to my demand of his best friend calling....he feels really awkward having this conversation in front of me and so he decided to call him behind my back and explain to him everything......

am i wrong? finally i asked him to stop talking and abandon all relation with his best friend and choose between him and me and his answer was think with a calm mind and stop being childish and that i am being unreasonable.....and he would not stop his friendship.....am i wrong/unreasonable here?

hope you guys can provide some input.....


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

stopping all contact isn't the solution.

Your H needs to place you before his family, friends, work, etc. The same issue would come up if your H sided with his mom or brother over you. 

I would suggest a clear boundary not stopping contact. Also, tell him he NEEDS to tell you the truth. He needs to be open and honest LONG before he tells his friend anything.

Best of luck.


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## franklinfx (Apr 7, 2009)

Lemme get this straight, youre mad at your husbands best friend for helping him and not you? Then not apologizing for it?........huh??? sorry but that sounds a little silly

The part about him sharing your emails w/ the best friend is wrong but thats an issue you should have w/ your H not his friend. You need to concern yourself w/ your marriage, not your relationship w/ your H's friends. while youre at it, maybe get your own friends for support.


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## Locard (May 26, 2011)

You need to get out of princess mode. Your husbands best freind does not owe you anything.The fact that this man has "upset" is now a major issue between the two of you, think about this for a second. It would appear that you two have enough problems of your own.


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