# Getting married was a big mistake.



## Avesa (Aug 31, 2011)

My husband and I both work but I do all the work at home. We have a 3 year old daughter. We've been married for 7 months and together for 5 years. He gets home after work and sits in front of his pc and plays game. He leaves plates, socks, clothes, glases lying around. Basically he leaves everything he touches lying around. I cook, clean, do the laundry, wash the baby, feed the baby , vaccum the house, wash the car. He can't even wash the car because he says its my car so I should wash. He doesn't want me to take the car to the car wash because he says its a waste of money. 

When we moved into the house we renting we had to paint it. i painted the house, fixed the cupboards. If the car has a puncture I change the tire while he sits and watches. 

When I came back from the hospital after i had my baby girl (C - section). I had to clean, cook and look after the baby all on my own. The operation was so painful everytime I had to lift the baby from her cot and breastfeed. He wouldn't wake up at night for the feedings, just thinking about it makes me want to cry because of the pain I went through.

I pay for the car we are using and he gave away the previous one I got from my mother to his aunt. When I ask for the money he tells me he had nothing to do with that and I should go get the money myself.

I made a big mistake getting married and I am miserable.

I' m thinking of moving out as it is but I'm worried about my baby. I don't want to take her away from her dad.

I'm scared of getting a divorce because of what my family and his family will say because we have only been married for 7 months.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If he gave your car to his aunt, is the title of the car still in your name? If it is go get your car back.

Was he like this before you married him?

Have you told hm that if he does not start helping around the house and with the baby that your are leaving him?

Let him worry about his relationship with his daughter. If he wants to see her every day he has to start helping you. You have to be strong enough to do this for your daughter. 

Do you want her to grow up thinking that this is what marriage is? That is is the way she has to live when she grows up?


You have a lot of power in this relationship... so you need to put your foot down.


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

I think you should bring his family into it. Is his father the same.


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## Avesa (Aug 31, 2011)

Thank you for the replies.

accept his family has been really kind to me that's why I'm so worried about my actions.

EleGirl the title is still in my name but I don't want to have to confront her myself be case when it comes to dealing with problems in his family, he needs to deal with them. I deal with problems when they invlolve my family so to keep the peace between us and our families. It seems as though that paln is failing because he is so scared of his family.

He was like this before we got married but I could deal with it , but now he has gotten worse and we don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. He spends most of his time at work . He comes back in the early hours of the morning. 

I'm just soo tired!


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Invite his family over for dinner, but dont clean the house.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Two things... 

First, you say you don't want to take your daughter away from him. But what kind of relationship are you showing her is a "good" marriage?

And second, imagine your daughter coming to you in 20 years, and telling you the same story. What would you advise her to do?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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