# I HATE my STBXW - why does it seem everyone else wants to get back together?



## prayingforhelp (Apr 7, 2015)

Child custody, in most cases, should be 50/50 – IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD – not the wishes of a selfish, manipulative, controlling woman that wants to alienate a child from her father.. After her lawyer leaves court for personal reasons during a temp custody hearing, I am left with nothing. My ex only wants to give me every other Saturday night. At that rate, I will have had my daughter for 3 out of 50 nights until the next court date. It is demoralizing.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I believe whether or not a child gets a say has a lot to do with the age of the child. If they are young, they just won't get brought into court.

OP, I am sorry your child is being torn apart like this. I'm glad you said "in most cases" when advocating for 50/50 custody. I've seen several couples where it worked really well. But it was never a possibility in my case-the ex hightailed it out of the state as soon as he left and is now a typical deadbeat dad with no contact with his kids. Guess we aren't the kind of scenario you had in mind. And I wouldn't get back with my ex for all the tea in China.

Can you call your daughter daily? I would. Let her know her father is trying to stay an important part of her life.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So, what's wrong with your attorney that you did not get more time with your child?


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## bigfoot (Jan 22, 2014)

With all due respect, there is a LOT missing from this story. Been in the legal field for over 2 decades.

If custody was already approximately 94%/6%, then it makes sense that it would not change until after the hearing. Of course, why was it that ratio to start? No order would be signed altering whatever custody arrangement was already in place if a lawyer had to leave court early for a medical or family emergency. It is not fair to the other side. There has to be more. 

In either event, your lawyer should be handling that. If you want to vent, then fine. HOWEVER, positing that you hate your STBXW is probably not the type of stuff that will help your case if it is found out, and it is "find-out-able". This is not legal advice and should not be taken as such.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

What state are you in?

Most have family codes that the courts follow and no state, that I am aware of, has this type of posession arrangement.

Texas, for example, gives the non-custodial parent 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends to start with. In addition, the NC parent may opt for additional expanded posession to include starting weekends after school on Friday, ending weekends at the start of school on Monday and 1 sleepover per week

These are rights set forth by the state.

It would take a custody case to change or modify this.

The current trend is to increase this with many states going to 50/50.

BTW, who gives a rip what your W wants to "give you"? She doesn't posess exclusive rights to your daughters time so cannot "give" you anything.


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