# Advice on steps after first date!!



## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Been on a few dates in past couple weeks, no real connections, BUT i went on a date last night, and this one was different!!! She was super cute and really down to earth!! It was like i went on a date with myself, her personality i just like mine,lol!! We went out to Stone Brewery and really had a good time..This is the first date where i was actually nervous most of the night!! dunno if it was cuz she was really pretty or that i just seemed to like her more than the other dates!! Anyways we had fun and i dropped her off at her house and gave her a big hug and said we should hang out again soon, she looked at me and said really are u serious!?! I said uh, yes!! and she gave me another hug and said cool give me a text or call me and lets set something up!! Its was like she didnt think i wanted to see her again or maybe she has had some bad dates,dunno.. SO i texted her later and said i had a really nice time with her etc.. and she texted and said same thing and said she is looking forward to seeing me again soon..(first date ever that said that, was kinda cool ) SO i texted and we set up a date for this next week to the comedy club, she said she never went and was excited!!! ok enough rambling,lol my question is it what are the rules as far as dates, once a week or what?? and is it normal to text her every couple days to chit chat and see what shes up to?? ive dated a couple other girls and they didnt respond that much and think i kinda screwed it up,lol with this girl i dont wanna do that... thanks for your comments


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## Happyfamily (Apr 15, 2014)

Right now she's on another forum asking people what to do. She went out on a date and she had a great time, it was like going on a date with herself and she was so nervous because she didn't want to blow it with this cool guy. He said they should do it again and I might have been too anxious when I said so enthusiastically yes, yes, yes...


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

For date #3, make it an action date. Go do something. Amusement park, museum, etc. If you feel like you and she are really connecting, ask her what her dating quota is.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Deejo said:


> For date #3, make it an action date. Go do something. Amusement park, museum, etc. If you feel like you and she are really connecting, ask her what her dating quota is.


ya thinking 3rd date maybe the fair thats in town or possible hiking with her dogs that she loves


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

Happyfamily said:


> Right now she's on another forum asking people what to do. She went out on a date and she had a great time, it was like going on a date with herself and she was so nervous because she didn't want to blow it with this cool guy. He said they should do it again and I might have been too anxious when I said so enthusiastically yes, yes, yes...


lol, dunno if she did that, but can tell she had a lot of fun


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

So this is your second date? Don't text her every day, you'll look desperate. But DEFINITELY, a couple of days before your date, RING her to confirm the date and the time that you'll pick her up etc. A couple more texts during the time between now and your date are ok, and will let her know that you're still interested, without being clingy or needy.

For the first few weeks, once a week dates are fine. After that you'll find it will slowly increase to twice a week, three times a week etc. 

Good luck!!


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

As for texts/emails, I have a fairly solid rule that I expect a reply (unless it is just "see you at 7.30" or similar) and if I don't get a reply I might send ONE more and then I leave it until the other person replies.

I also take a cue from how quickly or otherwise they respond. Sometimes you can get into a nice text chat, which is fine, but if somebody tends to respond once a week or less you can tell that they are either playing it WAY cool or are really not that interested.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

frusdil said:


> So this is your second date? Don't text her every day, you'll look desperate. But DEFINITELY, a couple of days before your date, RING her to confirm the date and the time that you'll pick her up etc. A couple more texts during the time between now and your date are ok, and will let her know that you're still interested, without being clingy or needy.
> 
> For the first few weeks, once a week dates are fine. After that you'll find it will slowly increase to twice a week, three times a week etc.
> 
> Good luck!!


 Ok sounds good, I will probably text her after this weekend and see how her weekend was. It's different with this girl compared the the rest I've been on dates with so far. One girl I went on 3dates within a week an a half,but it went to crap with her. It's only been one date with this new girl,but I just have this feeling that we will hit it off well 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

I actually went against my better judgment and texted her a lil while ago. Just told her, saying hi  and told her what I was up to and hope she's having a nice weekend. She responded with that so sweet and says our date night on wed seems so far away . 

Thought that was nice of her. Normally I wouldn't text a girl that quickly after we just went out and plus only first date!! Something seems diff about her though. Just gonna take it slow and see how second date goes


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

FishKing said:


> I actually went against my better judgment and texted her a lil while ago. Just told her, saying hi  and told her what I was up to and hope she's having a nice weekend. She responded with that so sweet and says our date night on wed seems so far away .
> 
> Thought that was nice of her. Normally I wouldn't text a girl that quickly after we just went out and plus only first date!! Something seems diff about her though. Just gonna take it slow and see how second date goes


:scratchhead: Why the sad face? That's a great response from her. Nothing wrong with you responding "I'm looking forward to spending time with you" or something like that.

Also, at the end of this date, if you want another, be sure to secure plans with her for the next date. It'll make her feel special, and that YOU feel her time is valuable and she's not just a last minute option.

Women LOVE to be courted.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

frusdil said:


> :scratchhead: Why the sad face? That's a great response from her. Nothing wrong with you responding "I'm looking forward to spending time with you" or something like that.
> 
> Also, at the end of this date, if you want another, be sure to secure plans with her for the next date. It'll make her feel special, and that YOU feel her time is valuable and she's not just a last minute option.
> 
> Women LOVE to be courted.


Oh the sad face was from her. Like she was sad our next date was days away.  if all goes well on date this coming wed,I'll see if she wants to hang out over the weekend as I am off work. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

It sure doesn't seem to take you long to find another woman. You just bounce from one woman to the next and get all caught up in them extremely fast. Why do you think you do that? Are you afraid of being on your own for more than a week?


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> It sure doesn't seem to take you long to find another woman. You just bounce from one woman to the next and get all caught up in them extremely fast. Why do you think you do that? Are you afraid of being on your own for more than a week?


More than a week? I broke it off with the last girl I dated over a month ago. I'm not desperate to be with someone. It just fell in my lap kinda. Besides when I was separated and got divorced,I was by myself doing my own thing for over a yr. at that time was just working and focusing on myself. so I feel that in ready to get back out there
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Ok I think this is my favorite thread of all time on TAM!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I think it would be okay to ask her if she wanted to go for a walk this afternoon, FK. She really likes you, and wants to see you again. 

I think it's sweet, too.


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

jld said:


> I think it would be okay to ask her if she wanted to go for a walk this afternoon, FK. She really likes you, and wants to see you again.
> 
> I think it's sweet, too.


 I'd love to go walk with her,but hangin with dad today for Father's Day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

FishKing said:


> I'd love to go walk with her,but hangin with dad today for Father's Day.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Tell her that.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Oh FishKing.. I remember you .because of this thread..you were feeling this woman was your soul mate after 2.5 weeks! 

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/165458-think-i-met-my-soul-mate.html

You sound so enthusiastic , excited...like she is so different than the rest..you can feel it...you really get your hopes up.. although it's sweet...take it slow... keep in mind, most everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning.. all those faults, quirks and crazy things will come to the surface in due time.. 

I don't know much about dating...just keep communicating - playing off of each other's interest for each other.. if she is quick and enthusiastic to get back to you, you can UP your requests for getting together...if she hesitates or seems like she is holding back.. this is your cue you are going too fast, reaching too high.. expecting too much... 

Is there any rhyme or reason between compatible couples who find each other... You think she is just like you.. but you also felt this way about that supposed "soul mate" back in February...what happened there ??


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## FishKing (Jun 28, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Oh FishKing.. I remember you .because of this thread..you were feeling this woman was your soul mate after 2.5 weeks!
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/165458-think-i-met-my-soul-mate.html
> 
> ...


I known I get excited about new relationships. I need to take it slow. I got a little nutty about the last GF,looking back at it now,was like crap,I was out of control!! The last girl I dated from February,found out she suffered from severe chronic depression and stopped taking her meds and couldn't deal with her isolating herself. I didn't see her for a month!! And we never talked. She was such a hot mess toward the end. And just wanted to be alone,it's been about 2months and heard she is doing horrible and sleeps all the time,as she did when we dated toward middle to end of relationship. I am gonna take it slow with this new girl and just date and see how it goes. Ya the whole sole mate thing from the past GF was rediculous ,lol. Couldn't believe we had both said that so soon. Live n learn I guess. I'm finding dating a lot I'm getting out much more and learning a lot about myself 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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