# Nights and Weekends are the worst!



## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

I assume it is this way for everyone (at least everyone who works a M-F 8-5 job). I used to look forward to the weekends for relaxation and catching up on my stuff or house stuff or anything else but work. Now I kind of wish I had a job where I could work 7 days a week! Can't sleep right, can't eat right, can't watch much of what is playing on TV cause it all reminds me of her. My dr. put me on ambien to help me sleep, but I don't want to use that crutch. Only used about 5 of the 30 pills so far. That was over a month ago. Just killing me.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

Nights are fine for me since I totally shut down at night. My worst times are Saturday and Sunday during the day. I want to be off doing things like I used with soon to be ex. I feel like such a loser just sitting there watching Top Chef Masters at 3pm on a Saturday (that may have been today :/ )

I have a running Rx for ambien since I am not a sleeper under the best of circumstances. For me it works well unless I get caught up and start doing something after I have taken it. I have woken up to a few emails/internet posts and I don't really remember writing them. That's pretty common with ambien, though. Ok well that was a total derail.


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## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

Wow, for the first week she was gone, all I did was catch up on my Top Chef episodes that I hadn't watched. She never liked the food shows so I can still watch them.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

It varies for me. When my kids are with me (I split time with my ex hub and I have every other week free) I put all my energy into them and their needs. The weeks that they are with their Dad is when I struggle. My H & I looked forward to those weeks because it was our time for just us. We realized that by not having kids together, we have more alone time and were very fortunate. Now I try to keep myself as busy as possible. I go for walks, visit friends, volunteer, whatever I need to do. I always secretly hope I will come home one day and he'll be here waiting for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

All I have are my thoughts and my cats. Not the best conversationalists in the world. Even the friends I have are not available most of the time because they have families and lives. I am living in what seems like the opera house from phantom. Just sitting here on my computer instead of an organ.


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## yourbabygirl (May 28, 2011)

Ditto!! Like everyone here, weekends are the best time of our married life, out-of-town, a day's worth tramp in the bush, or just chilling out with our favorite documentary, or go swimming.. 

It sucks big-time. I feel like losing my mind and I'd rather waste my time online than make me remember those things and do them alone - no way. I don't want to watch any new documentaries, those we have downloaded a long-time ago. I just can't force myself to do these things alone. What I do, is to re-watch the things that I like on my own and those which he cannot stand.

I really don't know how I am supposed to live my life without H.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

I plan stuff out through the next weekend so that I will have things to look forward too. I hit up the comedy clubs, movies's, thing with family and friends and of course dinning out ;o) Left alone to wonder and your mind will go back to the good memories every time. Likre somone reminded me tonight, don't make any one a priority when you are just an option for them. My stuid H acts like I have done something to him and he is mad at me ;o(


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

I hear ya.........it's 2:45 AM, can't sleep, mind is going a mile a minute......just want to cry........my dogs are looking at me like I'm insane........


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## yourbabygirl (May 28, 2011)

^ Hi VeryHurt - sometimes crying myself to sleep is a good way to doze off. I am very sorry but we are all in the same boat, almost.. 

-HUGS!


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

OK, so I am almost 6 months down the separation track, I had gone lower than rock bottom - see my '1 week' thread, pretty much documents what was happening with me.

Yep, evenings & weekends were like a death sentence. Not so bad these days though.

I do spend quite a bit of time most evenings online chatting to people I know, I spent a heck of a lot of time here, but the house is **** & span, most of the repairs that needed doing are done.

Weekends can still bit a long time sometimes, I have met a lady and we just seemed to have clicked, we get on quite well, she knows my story and it isin't an issue for her. 

As for sleep, mostly pretty good these days, but the early days of sleep were only achieved with the help of 50mg to 100mg of Seroquel, slow the brain down a bit, instead of a million questions a second it was more like 100 questions a second. I still have 50mg sometimes, but mostly I have gotten into a reasonable sleep patten.

My diet, in the early days, consisted of mainly coffee, and some toast, lost a fair bit of weight, I just could stand the idea of cooking something. 
These days I eat much better, regular exercise has kept the weight stable and toned up the body.

Basically, what I am saying is that if I can get this far through, and things are on the upswing for me, then the same can be for you.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

Yesterday I realized that I am going to have the same problem with weekends and evenings when I am alone. My husband and I aren't even separated yet, but my daughter went to stay overnight with a friend, and I "went shopping" to get out of the house.

I wandered downtown, wandered around in the mall, and wandered around in my car. I bought nothing - wasn't interested. It all felt very aimless and utterly lonely. I'm going to have to find things to do and cultivate new friendships once I move out, or I'm going to fade away. I'm looking forward to being away from him, but the loneliness is going to hurt.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Crankshaw said:


> OK, so I am almost 6 months down the separation track, I had gone lower than rock bottom - see my '1 week' thread, pretty much documents what was happening with me.
> 
> Yep, evenings & weekends were like a death sentence. Not so bad these days though.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for posting your experience, I really needed to read it this morning. I am a little over 3 months separated and even though it's a lot easier than it was when H first left, it is still very hard at times.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I don't golf but if I did I'd a find 24 hr driving range and whack the hell out of a 100 balls.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I want to whack some balls as well.


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## chaffy (Apr 11, 2011)

I am also having trouble with the weekends..I live in a state where i don't know anyone except for H..our friends all seem to be his friends now..I guess that means they were never my friends in the first place..moved here for H's work..and now stuck here..I have ventured out a few times..I have some customers that do karokee. so I thought i would go..still feels so wierd even after 2 months to come home and not have plans with H.

I am jealous about you guys catching up on Top Chef..loved watching that show..but now that H left me and is not really helping me out with $ cable is not in my budget...

So I also find myself online alot, either here or playing games..used to chat with my sis alot but now she has a new man in her life so we don't chat as often anymore..found myself going to the grocery store (even tho i did not really need anything) just to get out of the house for a while.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Dear All:
I am 3 months separated, although we are stuck in the same house until it sells. You may not think me fortunate being an alcoholic but I have re-discovered my roots AA! I have met so many people after isolating for so long, people that understand me, I can go to meetings all day long weekdays and weekends. I have started working on myself again, the control and perfectionism issues that are core problems of alcoholics and one day I will be able to go kayaking, golfing and fishing again with a new set of friends that understand me better than my STBX (this Wednesday, sign divorce papers) ever did. As you can see, I am having a good day. Yes, I have emotional relapses but I pick up the phone or go to a meeting or write here. All healthy stuff and WE will get through this. I know I will get through this, one day at a time and I will be stronger and wiser because of it and be able to help another with my experience of a broken heart and how I healed. Keep the faith!


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Sparkles, our experiences can be a wealth of comfort and help to others. It's what my signiture line refers to. Keep the faith, our suffering is not to make us weak, it's our learning to get through them and come out better on the other side that makes us unique and an asset to others. Hang in there, sounds like you are on your way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## everantisocial (Jun 29, 2010)

I hate this new life I have now.....I'm doing all the things you are meant to do, exercise, new hobbies etc but still spend large amounts of my time online hoping someone will chat on facebook.

Its a year this month for me but I'm still finding it really hard. I'm really lonely but nowhere near ready for meeting someone new so its a no win situation. I can feel myself becoming more and more withdrawn as I can't get used to going out and not being part of a couple and now I'm living alone money is quite tight. 

I must admit I'm sick of feeling like this, sick of feeling close to tears and sorry for myself. I'm hoping this is a sign that I'm going to come out the other side soon.


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## yourbabygirl (May 28, 2011)

My weekend is over, it wasn't so horrible as I spent a huge chunk praying to calm me down. I didn't go to see my H even though I know he was alone, he never initiated a conversation. 

Hope that he starts missing me..


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

everantisocial said:


> I hate this new life I have now.....I'm doing all the things you are meant to do, exercise, new hobbies etc but still spend large amounts of my time online hoping someone will chat on facebook.
> 
> Its a year this month for me but I'm still finding it really hard. I'm really lonely but nowhere near ready for meeting someone new so its a no win situation. I can feel myself becoming more and more withdrawn as I can't get used to going out and not being part of a couple and now I'm living alone money is quite tight.
> 
> I must admit I'm sick of feeling like this, sick of feeling close to tears and sorry for myself. I'm hoping this is a sign that I'm going to come out the other side soon.


Quite a few of seem to post here a lot. Post here, too!


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

I agree about the nights and weekends, I hate coming back to my house when it is empty. I also hate talking to my friends and family who know what is going on, it is such a downer for them. I am trying to do some stuff around the house, get closets organized, shop for my kids. And get on TAM to check in with all of you.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Try to keep the cats to fewer than 4.


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

Good idea, don't want to be known in the neighborhood as the cat lady


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

DelinquentGurl said:


> Thank you so much for posting your experience, I really needed to read it this morning. I am a little over 3 months separated and even though it's a lot easier than it was when H first left, it is still very hard at times.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I got an email from the ex on firday morning, annoyed, understatement, I was more than angry, and I don't get angry, sent a txt of to my friend & my daughter. Cost me a bunch of pink tulips to say sorry to my friend 

Point being, I still, at times have 'bad 'moments, still feel alone at times, but most of the time I have learnt to like my own company


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

everantisocial said:


> I hate this new life I have now.....I'm doing all the things you are meant to do, exercise, new hobbies etc but still spend large amounts of my time online hoping someone will chat on facebook.


better place is dating sites that have chat rooms, don't need to be looking for a date though.



> Its a year this month for me but I'm still finding it really hard. I'm really lonely but nowhere near ready for meeting someone new so its a no win situation. I can feel myself becoming more and more withdrawn as I can't get used to going out and not being part of a couple and now I'm living alone money is quite tight.


Sorry, but rubbish, you are ready to meet new people, don't have to be looking at dating.



> I must admit I'm sick of feeling like this, sick of feeling close to tears and sorry for myself. I'm hoping this is a sign that I'm going to come out the other side soon.


Go meet new people, as I said, many dating sites have chat rooms, but you don't have to be looking for a date.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

staircase said:


> Quite a few of seem to post here a lot. Post here, too!


I do not, oh, wait, hmmm, maybe I do lol


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

chaffy said:


> I.found myself going to the grocery store (even tho i did not really need anything) just to get out of the house for a while.


and that is what you need to do, get out of the house as often as you can, doesn't really matter where you go, just go !


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