# Diver Dan



## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

This is a question about oral sex on a woman.
My GF used to love the way I gave her oral sex, she loved it, no complaints @ all. Fact is I have never had one complaint til now.
This past weekend my GF took me to a hotel, I gave her about 15min of oral and was ready to have sex, she claimed I had eaten her raw and wasn't in the mood. 
Hrs later she tells me I have been doing it all wrong for a long time, she likes it soft, just lick the outside. ??? She continues to tell me I seem to be looking for a button (this part is true, hello....looking for the clit) and I am looking for her to cum every time I go down there....HELLO...it's why I'm there....
I have to be honest, I have had sex 10,000 times or close to it...she's kinda new to sex, well good sex. From what I've learned about her she's not all that into sex and hasn't been that active. I was the first guy to have sex w/ her w/o a condum, I was the first guy to cum inside her. There are a lot of firsts but as far as the oral goes...I've been doing it for 30years and have always been told I was the best @ it. Even the X told me she misses that about me.....WTF?
Mouse


----------



## Soupnutz (Jul 6, 2011)

Nat all vaginas are the same. Let her walk you through it and give it to her exactly how she wants. Can't hurt.


----------



## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Maybe you are worrying too much about being good at it. I am not a big believer in being 'good' at sex, to me it is a matter of chemistry.

Maybe you should stop trying to please her and just enjoy the moment. Be less goal oriented maybe?


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

OP,

as others have said, let her tell you what to do where. That way you'll know she's getting what she wants and she'll come back for more!


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Doesn't matter how much experience you've had. This is her body and she knows what she likes. Outside the bedroom, does she act like she's "into" you?


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I don't care how inexperienced your girlfriend is, taking the attitude that she _should_ like the way you do it because you would know better than she does, will be a complete turn off. Take the time to learn her body. Be a generous enough lover to check your ego at the door and do what she needs, rather than just plowing ahead with what you think she ought to enjoy.


----------



## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

The clitoris is actually a wishbone shaped organ - you only see 'the button' but the rest is also sensitive. So licking, stroking and touching along the sides is very important to a lot of women. The whole area is sensitive, and changes in sensitivity due to time of the month, etc. Take your cues from her.

You can find a drawing of the clitoris here to see what I mean - click on the 3rd picture down the list: 

3DVulva.com


----------



## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Rowan said:


> I don't care how inexperienced your girlfriend is, taking the attitude that she _should_ like the way you do it because you would know better than she does, will be a complete turn off. Take the time to learn her body. Be a generous enough lover to check your ego at the door and do what she needs, rather than just plowing ahead with what you think she ought to enjoy.


On the other hand, she shouldn't be telling him he's doing it "wrong" just because she doesn't get off from what most women do. Want to piss a guy off? Tell him he doesn't know what he's doing in spite of him having ample evidence that he does (experience). Don't want to be eaten raw? Provide corrective feedback before it gets that far. Want something different? Say so.

I had years of dealing with this sort of crap. The wife said I must not be doing something right because it wasn't doing much for her. That straight pissed me off. She can't get off on what every other woman I've been with does, so *I* was doing something wrong?? How about it just doesn't work for HER... and then letting me know wtf does?? How about a little feedback? This notion that I was doing something wrong sent me through a fury of research, a collection of books, and experimenting everytime I went down on her... each time ending with frustration. It turns out, NOTHING works for her, and judging by subsequent women, there's not a damn thing I was doing wrong.

I still resent her for making me feel like I was the problem. To this day she's the only woman I didn't like giving oral.


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> On the other hand, she shouldn't be telling him he's doing it "wrong" just because she doesn't get off from what most women do. Want to piss a guy off? Tell him he doesn't know what he's doing in spite of him having ample evidence that he does (experience). Don't want to be eaten raw? Provide corrective feedback before it gets that far. Want something different? Say so.
> 
> I had years of dealing with this sort of crap. The wife said I must not be doing something right because it wasn't doing much for her. That straight pissed me off. She can't get off on what every other woman I've been with does, so *I* was doing something wrong?? How about it just doesn't work for HER... and then letting me know wtf does?? How about a little feedback? This notion that I was doing something wrong sent me through a fury of research, a collection of books, and experimenting everytime I went down on her... each time ending with frustration. It turns out, NOTHING works for her, and judging by subsequent women, there's not a damn thing I was doing wrong.
> 
> I still resent her for making me feel like I was the problem. To this day she's the only woman I didn't like giving oral.


DA,

I actually started laughing as I read your post.

I realize you're angry and it doesn't take much to re-engage the resentment you have over her.

But, this was really well written and the bitterness just drips from it.

Well done.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, it rubbed her raw. lol. Can't argue with that.

Do it the way SHE wants it. Not the way you have been told you're good at it.


----------



## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

that_girl said:


> Well, it rubbed her raw. lol. Can't argue with that.
> 
> Do it the way SHE wants it. Not the way you have been told you're good at it.


I always make sure I'm clean shaven.

Whisker burn's a drag.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Conrad said:


> I always make sure I'm clean shaven.
> 
> Whisker burn's a drag.


But it's not even the whiskers. Licking, sucking, nipping, rubbing in the wrong area INSIDE the vagina or inside the labia area can HURT after a while. That skin is thin and sensitive. If it's dry, god help us.


----------



## Bluemoon1 (Mar 29, 2012)

Well be thankful she is being honest with you!

Next time you do it, don't make the mistake of asking her if it's OK, (take my word you will come across as needy) but be a little sensitive to her body language and the noises she makes.


----------



## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

LoveMouse said:


> This is a question about oral sex on a woman.
> My GF used to love the way I gave her oral sex, she loved it, no complaints @ all. Fact is I have never had one complaint til now.
> This past weekend my GF took me to a hotel, I gave her about 15min of oral and was ready to have sex, she claimed I had eaten her raw and wasn't in the mood.
> Hrs later she tells me I have been doing it all wrong for a long time, she likes it soft, just lick the outside. ??? She continues to tell me I seem to be looking for a button (this part is true, hello....looking for the clit) and I am looking for her to cum every time I go down there....HELLO...it's why I'm there....
> ...


Everyone woman is different. Even my own wife, who even though isn't crazy about receiving oral, has changed about how she likes it (the rare times she does let me and enjoys it). I used to lick her clit and hole, and she liked it. Than I would not do too much licking and would suck on her clit, and she liked that, but now she doesn't like the sucking and only licking on the clit only. :scratchhead: I don't get it, but its her body and if she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it. Also, similar to your GF, I can't stay down there too long for the one of the same reasons. She says it gets too raw, and it becomes numb. 
Just accept that your GF is different and don't project how your past women were on her. And don't take it as a shot at your 'skills', everyone woman is different.


----------



## ChelseaBlue (Mar 5, 2012)

LoveMouse said:


> This is a question about oral sex..... ...I've been doing it for 30years and have always been told I was the best @ it.


Um, OK.

Maybe you could give us all a lesson. While you are at it, let your gf know what an oral sex god you are. I'm sure she will learn to enjoy your special techniques.


----------



## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

unbelievable said:


> Doesn't matter how much experience you've had. This is her body and she knows what she likes. Outside the bedroom, does she act like she's "into" you?


Yes  In ways the world would consider stupid. lol  Even my kids see she's cool, she does things that no woman would ever consider doing in public. (I love tractors, she'll wear my tractor shirts w/o being asked.) She does 80% of the driving to see me, she cooks, bakes, cleans, and pays for so much of what we do and never complains. The X was always complaining about everything...and she hated tractors..lol
Mouse


----------



## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

3leafclover said:


> What does she mean by "outside"? Like the inner labia? The outer labia? Is it possible she means right above or on the clitoral hood instead of the clitoris itself? Some women can't take direct clitoral stimulation for long, if at all. There are plenty of women who masturbate by rubbing directly above the clitoral hood instead of the clitoris itself...if she is one of those, it could be that she's not liking the sensation. Or she could like clitoral stimulation, but only if it's very soft and not much pressure.
> 
> This is probably the least likely, but you say she's a little inexperienced you are looking for the "button". Are you, erm, finding it? I don't ask to question your oral prowess lol... it's just that some women have very small, shy ones and without already being in the right frame of mind and in the right position (i.e. open enough), you might just be finding the clitoral hood and not the clitoris itself if it retracts into the hood. This could also happen if you're rougher with the oral than she finds pleasurable or if she's tense.
> 
> I agree with the previous posters...do what she asks. Let her lead with this. Maybe every now and then try the clitoral stimulation again, but change it up, keep it gentle, and ask her how it's working for her.


Nothing is exposed, it's all deep inside, I have never seen anything like this, I have a hard time even touching her clit w/ my tounge extended all the way. She is talking about the outside skin, I don't know the words but she doesn't want my tounge past where she shaves.
I have found the clit but it's hard to keep track of it b/c it's so far in there.
Her G spot is also there, I can feel her getting excited like she's going to pop but she can't ever let it go that far, she always makes me stop first.
even when she's on top of me, she never cums when I'm inside of her, she only comes when my penis is rubbing the outside.
I am stumped.
I am used to women squirting, full blown "O". She did it once but was so grossed out she hasn't done it again....I like it, I know she did too but after she couldn't belive she did that.
Mouse


----------



## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

3leafclover said:


> Dan, I just saw your earlier post in the other oral sex thread where you mention your wife saying it's painful. To me, this would confirm that she is one of those women whose clitoris is so very sensitive that direct stimulation or anything other than very light/soft stimulation is translated into pain. This is not at all rare. I'm betting she does prefer the stimulation just around the clitoral hood area (women still get a very nice, indirect sensation in the clitoris with this). I have the same issue after my first orgasm...any direct touch after that can be sensed as pain unless very, very gentle. Some women are like that all the time. But if she is _that_ sensitive, she probably can get a lot of pleasure from stimulation of the surrounding area as described by norajane.


That sounds about right. On nights she's in control she has a way of turning me on so bad and there isn't much pennatration @ all. She can "O" if I am behind her while she's on her knees, this way the clit is never even touched.
Mouse


----------



## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Well, it rubbed her raw. lol. Can't argue with that.
> 
> Do it the way SHE wants it. Not the way you have been told you're good at it.


But like an earlier post SHE HAS TO TELL ME BEFORE SHE'S RAW!
She can't let me go @ it for 20min and then complain, I need to know what spot feels good.
Side note~ she has RA, she can't take her meds til the fever breaks. I have a feeling her lack of or med change has made her more sensitive. She's had the fever for over 3 weeks, her Dr. is running tests, she's not real sick, just sick of being sick. 
Mouse


----------



## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

effess said:


> Everyone woman is different. Even my own wife, who even though isn't crazy about receiving oral, has changed about how she likes it (the rare times she does let me and enjoys it). I used to lick her clit and hole, and she liked it. Than I would not do too much licking and would suck on her clit, and she liked that, but now she doesn't like the sucking and only licking on the clit only. :scratchhead: I don't get it, but its her body and if she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it. Also, similar to your GF, I can't stay down there too long for the one of the same reasons. She says it gets too raw, and it becomes numb.
> Just accept that your GF is different and don't project how your past women were on her. And don't take it as a shot at your 'skills', everyone woman is different.


And see this is the funny part, before there wasn't a problem, I could go down there for an hr and she loved every second....I could use my fingers, suck on her clit all day long and then finish her off w/ a finger...and I rubbed hard. Now, she's changed in just a few weeks? I have to think it was the lack of RA meds.
Mouse


----------



## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

ChelseaBlue said:


> Um, OK.
> 
> Maybe you could give us all a lesson. While you are at it, let your gf know what an oral sex god you are. I'm sure she will learn to enjoy your special techniques.


I showed her my certification, I showed her the list of satisfied women, and I let her read the one complaint I got when I was 14.
The best lesson I could ever give you is to start w/ some good foreplay, get her excited before you ever attempt to give a woman oral. Once in position, try the A motion, work to the B and then the C. If one of these 3 letter motions gets her fired up stick w/ her favorite letter. If no pleasure is achieved move on to the letter D, E, AND F, continue thru the alphet til you get to Z, if the Z doesn't do it you may @ the wrong hole, check to make sure her breasts are facing up and then start w/ the small case letters, sometimes it's just a small adjustment to get her excited. If the letters don't work try numbers, skip 1,2, and 6, they are too much like letters you've already done. Don't let it seem you're new as you go thru the alphet, mix it up a little, kiss her inner thigh or move back up to her breasts, keep the attention flowing and avoid talking, this will only confuse her or break her concentration, if that happens you might have to start over, If she's a blond you might find urself taking her to dinner again. Once you've established a comfortable stanz and you're confident she's getting more and more aroused don't over do it, move inside w/ the tonge a little, never give her the whole thing @ once, you want her to WANT it, make her desire you, always keep a little back till she ready to explode and then never give her more than she can handle, you want this to last, you want to be a good lover and unless it's a quickie the longer the better. When she can't hold back any longer (her hands pushing ur head down hard is a good sign) stop, kiss her body all the way up to her mouth, if she wants to kiss you she will, if she turns her head kiss her kneck and her ears, spend a little time teasing her, wisper in her ear, give out a small snort and go right for her breasts. Make eye contact, let her know you're happy to be with her and you're not thinking about the football game. She's turned on, her engine is warm/hot, she'll stay like this for a while so you don't have to rush around, take ur time, ask her what she'd like next and then do it. If @ this time she wants to be kissed, and you have good penis control, slip it in but just a little, don't be too eager, allow her to control the sex part, just let her know you also are ready to go.
A little more than just the oral part but it all just flows as part of the night.
Oh, most of this I was LMAO.:rofl:
Mouse


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I remember once, before a guy went down on me, he said, "Wow, they all look so different!"

Yea. that was the end of that. lol. Last thing I wanted to think about was all the women he's licked.

Not sexy.


----------



## ChelseaBlue (Mar 5, 2012)

LoveMouse said:


> I showed her my certification, I showed her the list of satisfied women, and I let her read the one complaint I got when I was 14.......*Oh, most of this I was LMAO.:rofl:*Mouse


SO was I!:rofl:


----------



## LoveMouse (Apr 22, 2012)

I just wanted to update this.
Last night we had our 9th annivasary, it was just a simple night out, dinner and a movie. Dinner was very nice and had nothing to do w/ the food, we just had a nice night talking like we used to. Before we watched the movie we had a chance to talk about the sex thing. Long story short she told me her meds would take 6 weeks to kick in and she'd be in~and outta pain till she was back to normal, I was understanding and said I could wait.
Later, after the movie, she started rubbing on me, I asked her not to disturb the "beast with~in" b/c I didn't care to be all worked up for nothing...LMAO. She kissed on me any ways, it led to oral....she asked I just stick out my tounge and let her do the work.  When I saw the way she worked it I saw she stayed clear of the clit, she kept it lower, and to the outside. Needless to say she didn't last too long, she too was needing some luvin pretty bad.  All in all it was just about the best time we've had in the sack in a long time.  More to cum tonight.
Thanks for the help!!
Mouse


----------

