# Help with eating habits....



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

My husband was chubby when I met him..... so no, I have no dreams of a buff husband.

And while I fix dinner for him every evening, he needs to finish off the evening with ice cream and chocolate syrup.

I think it's taking its toll and I am wondering if there is anyway I can gently move him on from this habit.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Buy him some popcicles instead of ice cream.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

You could also switch to frozen low fat yogurt instead of ice cream.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Don't purchase Ice Cream. 

If it's not there, he won't eat it. If it is, you are damn right he will.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

karole said:


> You could also switch to frozen low fat yogurt instead of ice cream.


:iagree:

Or he can do the same as my dad and just have chocolate milk instead. Cheaper and gets him the chocolate 'fix' he's looking for.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Motivate him to start working out. Any man can become buf. 

Actual free weights. Not those beta machines. Real weightlifting. You'll get your H back. He'll start liking the results and keep going. 

Do it 3 or 4 times a week.

No time? bs... Once he starts working out, EVERYTHING else finds time anyway. Amazingly so.

Me? Yep, I speak from experience. 38" waist to 34 1/2 in just a couple 3 months --> and still dropping. 50" chest now. 

I can and do eat anything now. Because I burning energy! But prefer the healthier stuff. No desire for ice cream for years.

Get his lazy, pasty arse off the couch, man up and look the part!


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

NTA; I was 217lbs in Oct. last year. I am also type 2 diabetic I am currently down at 195lbs and still losing weight. The biggest thing for me was to actually eat 3 meals a day instead of just 1big one. I also cut out all junk and stopped any eating after 8:00pm. I also cut my portion sizes down and made sure I drank plenty of water.

I started going to the gym in mid November (I thought I didn't have time for it) but due to the holidays and overtime I missed going quite a few times. Good thing I was just paying as I went. Last week I purchased a 6 month membership and I will be going three times a week. Like the others here, I use mainly free weights. I have noticed an improvement even with the little I have been there. My weight loss is slowing due to assed muscle. 
If your husband can find. Friend to go with it is great for motivation. I was lucky enough that one of our daughter's gymnastics dads is heavily into power lifting and agreed to help me out and be a workout partner. Without him going to the gym might have already fizzled out.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

NextTimeAround said:


> My husband was chubby when I met him..... so no, I have no dreams of a buff husband.
> 
> And while I fix dinner for him every evening, he needs to finish off the evening with ice cream and chocolate syrup.
> 
> I think it's taking its toll and I am wondering if there is anyway I can gently move him on from this habit.


It can, and it will take it's toll on your husband. 5 years ago I was exactly where he was...right down to the big ass bowl of ice cream every night. I was obese, on BP and cholesterol meds, and my blood glucose levels were high. My doc told me that if I didn't change that I'd be diabetic in no time. He gave me 3 months to see what I could do on my own before prescribing more meds. That was all it took.

I went home that day and cleared out the fridge and pantry of all the "bad stuff". Three months later I had perfect blood stats, had lost 45 lbs, and was taken completely off meds. I have remained lean and fit to this day.

Diet and exercise. Diet especially, but exercise is a vital component. See if you can get him to exercise. Running is cheap. 5 years ago I couldn't run 1/8 of a mile without giving up. I began walking/running 5 years ago and just last year I completed 7 half marathons. Running is great cardio and more important over all than weightlifting (don't get me wrong, I love lifting but running is better exercise for cardiovascular fitness).

Weightlifting is important because one can maintain/increase lean body mass (muscle). Lean body mass is "active" tissue that requires calories. The more active tissue, the greater one's BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) which means greater caloric requirements.

Machines are fine, especially for beginners and for others who may have physical condition(s) that would prevent the use of free weights. I use both free weights and machines in my daily exercise regimen. Get him lifting, but remember to start very light so he can get used to the "range of motion". If he goes too hard and too heavy too fast, he's going to have a difficult time moving in a couple of days from the pain (temporary of course). He can do this and you can help him get there. Good luck my friend.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

Getting back to the subject of healthy eating though, if you want him to lose weight then initially he'll have to adopt a calorie deficit diet until the weight is lost (then go on a maintenance diet). My weight loss was pretty dramatic as I was consuming about 1500-1800 calories/day until I dropped the 45lbs. I practically eliminated all saturated fats and all processed sugars. I kept my carb intake low but still enjoyed a daily serving of pasta, rice, or potatoes. My biggest problem was my damn sweet tooth. I mean it when I said I had my nightly "big ass" bowl of ice cream...to the tune of a pint of quart per night.

So what did I do to rein in my sweet tooth? I had fat free/sugar free instant pudding or Fiber One Honey Clusters w/ skim milk. Both were VERY satisfactory substitutes for my nightly sweet tooth cravings.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

He won't change unless he wants to. My H has never eaten a raw vegetable in his life. He vegetables he will eat are basically beans and corn. There's been a bit of improvement, but only after I have up trying to get him to eat healthier.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Iver (Mar 8, 2013)

I've had good luck with a Paleo Diet - lots of online recipes are available for free. Mark's Daily Apple is a good starting point.

The problem is a regular person isn't going to be able to exercise a nightly bowl of icecream away. 

Look for substitutions - maybe try a cheese course instead? I find that berries with a little jam and cognac always works for me if I want a desert.

Good Luck.


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## 'CuseGal (Feb 5, 2015)

SurpriseMyself said:


> He won't change unless he wants to.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This, sadly enough, is all too true. Tell you a true story - 

My brother in law was about 250 pounds when he married my sister. He was tall enough it didn't look awful but it was still obvious he was obese. 10 years later he was pushing 400 pounds. Around the 300 pound mark, he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. His glucose levels were SCARY high - his DR told him it was a miracle he wasn't already dead.

He did nothing. Kept putting the weight on. Eating junk. Not exercising. Smoking pot too which didn't help.

Fast forward to just last month. 40 years old. Massive heart attack. Dead in 15 minutes flat. There was literally NOTHING they could do for him. Every single major artery was blocked. 3 fatherless kids now because he refused to take care of himself even after his doctors warned him that this was exactly what would happen if he didn't change his ways.

OP - feel free to share this with your H if you think he'll listen and learn. I hope for both your sakes that he does. A lot of people say, oh one more pound, 5 more pounds, even 10 more pounds won't hurt me. But then it's another 1, or 5, or 10, and another, and another. And all of a sudden you have an out of control, hard to reverse weight problem.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

'CuseGal said:


> This, sadly enough, is all too true. Tell you a true story -
> 
> My brother in law was about 250 pounds when he married my sister. He was tall enough it didn't look awful but it was still obvious he was obese. 10 years later he was pushing 400 pounds. Around the 300 pound mark, he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. His glucose levels were SCARY high - his DR told him it was a miracle he wasn't already dead.
> 
> ...


Yep. Lost my mother in July of 2013 from complications due to diabetes (renal failure). I had the lovely duty of playing caregiver to my mother while she did nothing to change her diet, never exercised despite my efforts and over her last 2 years of life she progressively lost limbs, went blind, all feeling in her extremities before succumbing to renal failure. She was 72. Lost my father last February at 74 from a massive heart attack. He too led a sedentary lifestyle and had an atrocious diet.

On the flip side, my grandmother ate healthily and worked out pretty much daily up until a month prior to her death from pancreatic cancer at the age of 95. I plan on following in the footsteps of my grandmother. Lifestyle choices play a huge role in longevity.


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

It migh help to lay out the numbers for him. Just the facts, ma'am.

figure out how many calories a day he needs, something like:

TDEE Calculator

(pick no exercise just to see). there are several formulas, but you can get a ballpark number. 

then figure out how many calories that ice cream and syrup really are. probably 500 calories.

that's just the 'extra' on top because I'm sure he's not eating small portions all day.

3500 extra calories = 1 lbs gained...it happens way too quickly.

his body doesn't defy the laws of physics, or biology. too many calories = fat.

if he's motivated, a tracking program like myfitnesspal can really help in weight loss

good luck


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Q tip said:


> Motivate him to start working out. Any man can become buf.
> 
> Actual free weights. Not those *beta machines*. Real weightlifting. You'll get your H back. He'll start liking the results and keep going.
> 
> ...


I think Tam just created a new term.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Does he want to change?

If not, you go right ahead and keep changing. If he's smart, he'll come along for the ride.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

The reason that people overeat is rooted in their education or psychology. Most adults know about healthy diets so you have to assume that overeating is some kind of crutch that they can't give up even though they know it is bad for them. Making a logical appeal to them based on health often doesn't work. 

I have a friend who is overweight, doesn't exercise, and has a terrible diet. His doctor told him to make lifestyle changes for his health. He wanted him to change his diet and get more exercise. His response was to ask for medications to keep his blood pressure and cholesterol down so that he could continue to live his sedentary red meat and chocolate sundae lifestyle. 

This guy is smart, but for some reason this is a rational decision to him. If it was me, I would be trying like crazy to avoid needing the medication.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

VermisciousKnid said:


> The reason that people overeat is rooted in their education or psychology. Most adults know about healthy diets so you have to assume that overeating is some kind of crutch that they can't give up even though they know it is bad for them. Making a logical appeal to them based on health often doesn't work.
> 
> I have a friend who is overweight, doesn't exercise, and has a terrible diet. His doctor told him to make lifestyle changes for his health. He wanted him to change his diet and get more exercise. His response was to ask for medications to keep his blood pressure and cholesterol down so that he could continue to live his sedentary red meat and chocolate sundae lifestyle.
> 
> This guy is smart, but for some reason this is a rational decision to him. If it was me, I would be trying like crazy to avoid needing the medication.


My father was an idiot when it came to diet for a long time. Pouring and salt and pepper on his food was his right as a man of the house. It was really stupid.

He was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 1992 and managed to live another 20 years without significantly changing his diet. He lost muscle on his arms and legs and his belly expanded to a farcical proportion.

HE admitted that after seeing a photo of him where he looked like a big buffoon, he was finally going to have to eat better and exercise. and so he did. 

He lost a lot of that belly and he started to look better.

That's why I am afraid to say anything to my husband. Then he might try to pick on my eating habits. No I am not model thin and I would like to lose 30 pounds myself (all gained in the last 5 years as long as my relationship withhim) but I do exercise regularly and I'm a lot thinner than that big fat 20 something woman that he used to date.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

sinnister said:


> I think Tam just created a new term.


Beta machines! Leave it to Q to come up with that one...

:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I had a wonderful evening last night. We're having a VD weekend away so we oredered room service at the hotel and I declined wine, so did he. So later on, he said, how about a fudge cake plus ice cream and I said " oh, we avoided wine tonight, let's not have dessert. We can always have it tomorrow if we want."

and he didn't order it.


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## Jeffyboy (Apr 7, 2015)

I would look for substitute healthy tasty snacks like cashews. It definitely worked for me!


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

It is a habit, a comforting fattening habit. In order to break it he has to be motivated. For me replacing with lower fat items doesn't work. They still contain enough sugar to spike my glucose which triggers fat storage. I find I eat less if I eat high fat "real" food for treats.

I work out with a trainer and lift weights, it is great for keeping my body fit and my metabolism high. If I had to choose weights or cardio I would take weights any day. They made a huge difference in my body and my metabolism.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

There is not much you can do. It has to be in him, as with everything: quitting smoking, excercising, living healthy, being better spouse. Try not to buy sweats and treats, other than that no talk wil change until he is ready.

I was there 40 lbs ago. The change came from me. For me, and many friends 5-2 is a way of life now, that's what keeps me from yo-yo effect, what was always problem before. For the first time in my life I do not worry about putting those pounds back.. Just put my mother on it, and she become fan just after few weeks. There is a lot of good science behind intermiitent fasting, a lot of health benefits.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Q tip said:


> Actual free weights. Not those *beta machines. * Real weightlifting. You'll get your H back. He'll start liking the results and keep going.
> 
> Get his lazy,* pasty arse* off the couch, man up and look the part!


Ahhhhh... I DO miss Q's words of wisdom... Beta machines? Pasty arse?

Q, you are missed.

:smthumbup:


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

VermisciousKnid said:


> The reason that people overeat is rooted in their education or psychology. Most adults know about healthy diets so you have to assume that overeating is some kind of crutch that they can't give up even though they know it is bad for them. Making a logical appeal to them based on health often doesn't work.
> 
> I have a friend who is overweight, doesn't exercise, and has a terrible diet. His doctor told him to make lifestyle changes for his health. He wanted him to change his diet and get more exercise. His response was to ask for medications to keep his blood pressure and cholesterol down so that he could continue to live his sedentary red meat and chocolate sundae lifestyle.
> 
> This guy is smart, but for some reason this is a rational decision to him. If it was me, I would be trying like crazy to avoid needing the medication.


There are people out there - me - who have battled against weight all their lives. It is a constant and daily battle.

I eat a relatively healthy diet. I do not like brown rice/pasta so when I do have them (maybe once/twice a month) it will be white.
Last time I had a burger was twenty years ago! 
When I cook chicken breast its skinless and drizzled with afew drops of olive oil...and I cut 90% fat off all meat - it needs some otherwise it tastes so bland...
When I was younger I used to love squash and passed the Police entry fitness tests - just!...now that I am 50 I'm not as energetic as I was!

I used to go to the gym three times a week but it was sooooo depressing...I would be on the 'running' machine....slight incline, 5mph, 30 mins. So a brisk walk.....next to me would be a 30yr old guy, 6ft, 130lbs doing 15mph for 2 hours and not even sweating.....and I was having to make a real effort!
The only people there were thin and very fit.

If I had a gym I would set a couple of hours a day aside...'Fat Ba$tards' only!!

I have friends who eat 3x what I do, scoff their faces with sweets (candy!) and snacks...as far as they are concerned Gym is a guys name yet they weigh 150 lbs. Ba$tards!

Life isn't fair!


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