# Yes! He finally gets it!



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

I had been feeling a bit criticized and unappreciated by my husband. Nothing huge, but I felt he was being nitpicky and focussing on little things that I did wrong rather than seeing HOW HARD I WORK.

Then tonight he got up from a nap and went upstairs while I was showering our two girls. We had been watching a movie and I'd forgotten to turn everything off - I often get distracted and think I'm coming back up, but then don't because of one child-related reason or another. Or I forget, because I'm disorganized. 

So he came into the bathroom and said in a slightly exasperated way that I'd left stuff on again, I apologized, but felt annoyed - is it really that important? It was for about five minutes, can't he just assume I'm doing the best I can and if I forget, just do it for me? BUT, I also want him to feel okay to tell me when I do stuff he doesn't like, because he tends to keep it to himself and seethe silently. 

Anyway, I went out in the end and said I felt criticized lately and I feel that he doesn't notice when I do things right, only when I make a mistake. He looked a bit taken aback and said that he wasn't meaning to be critical, and hadn't realized he was. I had to go back to our two year old, but he came too and asked when he had been critical lately. I mentioned something that happened yeaterday, and he apologized again. I then said I also wanted him to be able to tell me when I do things he doesn't like, and he fired back at lightening speed, "you just want me to like everything you do?". 

Cue laughter. Because, YES, OBVIOUSLY. Love everything I do, and do it SINCERELY. Also feel free to criticize me, but not really. 

Love you honey!


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## Gunthar (Sep 2, 2012)

My wife was/is same way....always criticizing and passing blame onto others.

One day she may get it (I think things are sinking it a bit lately with everything we are going thru).

Glad to hear your hubby is seeing the light


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Aw, thanks Gunthar, but I was being a bit tongue-in-cheek. I actually want him to be able to communicate things he's not happy with, but I was feeling a bit unappreciated and over-criticized. My issue, not his. Although, he could step up the appreciation a bit and I think he will now.

Hope things improve for you and your wife.


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## Gunthar (Sep 2, 2012)

Lyris said:


> Aw, thanks Gunthar, but I was being a bit tongue-in-cheek. I actually want him to be able to communicate things he's not happy with, but I was feeling a bit unappreciated and over-criticized. My issue, not his. Although, he could step up the appreciation a bit and I think he will now.
> 
> Hope things improve for you and your wife.


Whoops....missed that one!


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

That's great that you communicated that to him so clearly! So much better than not speaking up and building up resentment.


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