# tired of groundhog day



## LuckyLuHoo (Mar 1, 2016)

Do you have that fight where you can literally repeat everything you said the last time you had it? How long can this go on? 

And is it horrible to tell my husband that if we don't move to the house that could be the answer to our prayers that I'm done? Or do i just secretly begin to plan my exit?

I'm looking at rentals now, fully assuming that he will ruin this. he will ruin it even though i've been in the groundhog day fight with him about how we need a bigger house (ours is 780) for the last 7 years. And how not one change to the piles of crap in the basement, backyard and garage for the last 7 years. 

When do you give up and just get a place that does' have his stuff anyway?

can you really just have it come down to not wanting to move as the nail in the coffin?


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

LuckyLuHoo said:


> And how not one change to the piles of crap in the basement, backyard and garage for the last 7 years.


Is he a hoarder?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Getting a bigger house will just give him more places to put "stuff". You have brilliantly answered your own question. What you really want is a house that doesn't have piles of stuff. 

My honest advice is to cure the behavior first. But, I despair because you indicate that he is inflexible. The ground hog day argument says that he is not budging an inch on making any change. 

When I helped people with clutter we had some methods we used to help break the hoarding habit. One of the most effective was to fill a box, seal it and write the date on it. Wait 2 months for most stuff (1 year for seasonal things) At the end of that time toss the box without opening it, as you have proved that you really don't need anything in that box. If you had needed it you would have removed it. Chances are good that he hasn't seen most of the things in the piles in more than 2 years already. Sometimes hoarders part with their stuff more easily if they donate it, or recycle it.

I could type for pages with horror stories from that time. And, yet, I still have some stash's that need to be re thought. Do you think he is receptive yet to solving this? It is true that men resist change, sometimes unreasonably. As a Joke I now say "Men don't like change, Just folding money". Try to be positive in your trial. 
MN


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I agree that the behaviors need to stop regarding the collecting/keeping of stuff that is unneeded/wanted. 

Have you tried counseling to help sort this out. Usually, its a larger/core issue that is really happening in the relationship. A counselor can help you figure you a compromise without the groundhog effect.

If a counselor isn't an option, perhaps a storage facility to keep the "stuff." 

It is a symptom of a larger problem.


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

I agree with Corpuswife, a counselor may be able to dig deep and find the root to the hoarding problem because it is a psychological illness and your husband can seek help from that. If he doesn’t want the help or refuses to at least compromise with you then separate for a while and see if it will motivate him to compromise and it will give you time to find out what will make you happier.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

Divorcing over a new house? How's the rest of the marriage? Having mind blowing sex multiple times a week?


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