# trying to convince husband to go to counseling



## heather13 (Aug 5, 2010)

My husband and I have been arguing and fighting alot lately, and little argument seem to turn into big ones. I have been wanting to go to counseling, he keeps agreeing but doesnt follow through on it. We get sessions with a counselor as part of his benefit package at work so I have left it up to him to make an appointment, he has called but has not made the appointment. What do I do to let him know that I think we need some help. I have told him repeatedly and have threatened to leave, but he still doesnt do it.


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## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

As a covered spouse, you should have access to the network, either by web or book. Take over. Set the appointment. Set it for both of you, and if he backs out, you go anyway.

I had all sorts of problems with this... And, I got H there. When he refused, I told him that I was going alone, because either there is a solution, or I will need therapy to get through the idea of separation and divorce. I did not deliver this as an empty ultimatum. I was really *there*. So, he gave me requirements, and wanted to go, too (these were not easy): male therapist, within 5 miles of home, preferred network. It took me 24 unique calls to find the guy we are now using. It is 100% worth it. I was mad as heck when I was making all those unsuccessful calls. But, at this point, I know that I'm doing everything possible to help us be successful.

Best of luck to you!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

GoDucks said:


> As a covered spouse, you should have access to the network, either by web or book. Take over. Set the appointment. Set it for both of you, and if he backs out, you go anyway.
> 
> I had all sorts of problems with this... And, I got H there. When he refused, I told him that I was going alone, because either there is a solution, or I will need therapy to get through the idea of separation and divorce. I did not deliver this as an empty ultimatum. I was really *there*. So, he gave me requirements, and wanted to go, too (these were not easy): male therapist, within 5 miles of home, preferred network. It took me 24 unique calls to find the guy we are now using. It is 100% worth it. I was mad as heck when I was making all those unsuccessful calls. But, at this point, I know that I'm doing everything possible to help us be successful.
> 
> Best of luck to you!


:iagree:

Great advice. Even if he won't go to the appointments, you will benefit from them as an individual.


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