# Husband not fixing impotence issues...Need Advice PLEASE



## inGA (Mar 29, 2014)

I have no one whatsover to talk to about this and I am going crazy inside. I have kept this inside for 6 years. I need to get it out. Any advice would be appreciated.

We have been married for 15 years. I am 39 he is 41. We have two awesome kids, 14 and 10. I have always been a very sexual woman, happily married and have been faithful this whole time. Here is the problem in a nutshell.

About 6 years ago, my husband would start having some impotence issues but it was only once every few months, maybe. This of course never happened ever before. I didn’t think much of it at first. Then, it would start happening more often and I got concerned. I thought omg he is not attracted to me anymore or what is it? But he always says how beautiful I am and thinks I am so hot, etc. to this day. Other men notice me, so I don’t think its me. I did a ton of research and he went to the Dr. and had tons of tests. Basically it seems it is probably due to the fact that he has a beer belly and this can cause male impotence, blocks blood flow, etc..is not healthy. Dr. Oz has mentioned this on tv too...and how it can be dangerous on the heart, etc.... I have never had a problem with his belly before this started putting a problem in our excellent marriage. Now, I was begging him to please get rid of it (he has always had one to varying degrees but I loved him so I didn’t care). This was of course effecting him greatly, not feeling like a man, etc etc. whenever we were about to do it and it wouldn’t work, he would end up being mad and upset and this would linger for a couple days. Every time, this was hell for me to watch and then to deal with my own emotions about it on top of that. 

I was supportive. Months went by, no changes. He would work out here and there. I was scared and said if this didn’t get fixed and it ruined our sex lives, it could destroy our marriage down the road so please fix this. 

Fast forward….over the past 6 years the problem has become worse. He has tried, here and there to workout, lose weight, eat better, asks the Dr. over and over, they just tell him to lose weight and give him Viagra but its too expensive…..yet still, he has not shrunk his belly. Yes, I have seen him try but it never lasts. He will stop for whatever reason. It’s like he is half committed. All these 6 years he has seen me cry many, many, many times and be scared yet still, the problem is not fixed. The sexual part gets worse and worse. Then he started getting scared to even have sex and have to deal with not getting It up that he would stop wanting it for a couple weeks at a time. Of course, his problem is now effecting me hugely. Then we would do it and you never know if it will work or not. And when it does work, it will go soft fairly quickly so we have to rush sex just to use it while its hard. That means, hardly any foreplay for me. What woman would want that???

In the last year, when we would do it, I would go along with the rushing to make him feel good and more like a man but I was never turned on anymore. Today, I am at the point, of not wanting sex at all, ever. More then anything, I am so hurt that he can take all these years and see all the pain it has caused me emotionally and not have done everything in his power to fix it . I always say, if you could just shrink your damn belly please to fix your impotence problems , it will fix our sex lives and we will have a happy, healthy marriage!! Not to mention this is dangerous on his health. I beg him... He just gets mad. You know how many men would love a pretty, sexual woman and this is what happens to me.

We are now not having sex, its been several months and we are ALWAYS fighting and bickering. I am so hurt, why would he not do this for me, for us?????? I have waited so many years patiently. Yes, he has tried but obviously not hard enough. My sex life and pleasure has been taken away from me and I am emotionally destroyed. I don’t know if we are going to last. And he turns into an ass when I am *****y, HELLO? What did you think would happen? Have I not been a patient, understanding wife? Sometimes I can’t even look at him. We haven’t slept together in the same bed for almost a year because his belly makes him snore so loud I don’t sleep. Another reason, he needs to remove this damn belly!

He joined a gym, goes sometimes but there are no changes. 
What would you do? How would you feel? What should I do at this point? It has been 6 years of waiting…My sex life and emotions have been destroyed and I don't deserve it. ??

More then the ****ty part of not having sex or when we do it is quick and sucks...is trying to accept that he has seen how upset this makes me and the problem is not fixed. 

Most men, would do ANYTHING that it took to fix this kind of impotence issue to have great sex. WTF? 

Am I supposed to wait another 6 years and hope it will get fixed? At this point I don't even know what I want anymore.
Any advice at all, please...im so lost.


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