# My husband really hates Game of Thrones



## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

So I'm really into fantasy. It was my husband that got me into it in the first place and I have a lot of friends who like the same things. They recommended Game of Thrones so I rented the first season of the HBO series and really enjoyed it. My husband didn't seem to mind it that much so I bought the books and started to read them. When the second season came out on DVD I bought it right away but after a few episodes my husband finally told me he didn't like it. I kept reading the books and only watched the show in my spare time, but now everytime he finds out I've watched an episode he stops taking to me. He gets really angry with me. Should I stop doing the things I enjoy to keep him happy or is he being unreasonable? 

Would really appreciate some advice, I don't even know what to say to him when he's being like this.

Morgorah


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Well, that's a new one.

Can you tell us what else is going on? I mean, is this one thing the only thing he gets weird about?


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

Pretty much, well he didn't like me reading Harry Potter Fanfiction either. He really over reacts with it. He's stopped talking to me completely.

We recently found out Im pregnant but he was like this before we found out. 

I kinda thought he'd be a bit better about it now.

We had a lovely evening planned for tonight but now he's just gone to bed.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Well thats pretty damn childish. My XH2 used to b!tch and complain about ANY show I liked that he didnt....ridiculous.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I think we're not getting some background information. Is this a cultural issue? A religious issue? Does he come from a background where if he says he doesn't want you to read something, you're expected to immediately not read that book?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

> My husband really hates Game of Thrones


Divorce him right away.
He obviously has poor taste.


His reaction is very odd.

If I got upset every time my wife was watching something I disliked or thought was stupid I'd be eternally upset.

Why does he care?

Have you come out and asked him what is up with this ridiculous reaction to your taste in media?


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

My ex was like this - if he didn't like it he would stomp and sulk and I'd have to record it and watch it later. He refused to even watch something with me to see if he might like it

I'm divorced from the a-hole now


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

He just doesn't like it because its very pornographic. He knows that's not why I like it. I've always been into fantasy and magic and dragons and stuff. But he can't look past the very graphic scenes. I think it feels like I'm cheating on him when I watch it.


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

I think he feels I'm cheating on him I meant to say.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Morgorah said:


> He just doesn't like it because its very pornographic. He knows that's not why I like it. I've always been into fantasy and magic and dragons and stuff. But he can't look past the very graphic scenes. I think it feels like I'm cheating on him when I watch it.


So, I take it your husband doesn't watch porn?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Does he think you are watching porn or something? Does he resent that you don't agree with him? Does he really hate porn and thinks anyone who watches it is a sinner? Is his religion, or his upbringing against fiction that includes magic and witches and whatnot because it might invite the devil into your lives?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Then how does cheating fit in with Harry Potter?


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Is that his objection to Harry Potter fan fiction too? Most of the HP fan fiction I've read is tame unless it's the slash fan fiction.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

tacoma said:


> So, I take it your husband doesn't watch porn?


None that she knows about.


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

No, we tried watching it together once but I found it too much, he says he doesn't watch it on his own. I don't mind it in Game of Thrones but he clearly does. It really really bothers him.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> Then how does cheating fit in with Harry Potter?


What do you think Hermione and Harry were really up to for days in those woods?

Hiding from Death eaters?
Pfft... That one's straight out of the cheaters script
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> None that she knows about.


Starting with the "all men watch it, they just hide it from their wives" huh?


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

He hates Harry potter because its for teenage girls and he's almost thirty so feels I shouldn't be into it at 25. He has no objection to porn or to magic and stuff, he just really hates Game of Thrones.he thinks it is porn just disguised and somehow that makes it worse. 

He said he didn't want it a part of our relationship so I watch it and read the book in what little spare time I actually have, but even that upsets him


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

Tacoma I'm more a Harry/Draco fan but that's another story


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

If he's the one that got you into fantasy in the first place, I don't understand his point of view. A lot of that genre feels like it's written by a teenager (stunningly beautiful fantasy women, breastesses!, young girls being married off to seasoned hard-bodied warriors, etc.). So HE was enjoying fantasy until YOU started enjoying it. Huh.

I like Game of Thrones though the gore and cruelty is sometimes too much for me and I can't watch. Still, I'm looking forward to a highly creative and painful death for Joffrey at some point, heh, though I may close my eyes when it happens.

Does your husband frequently give you the silent treatment and sulking when he is upset with something? Is that his typical way of dealing with conflict? What do you do then?


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

Yeah he usually sulks but there aren't many things that actually upset him. It really is just Game of Thrones. 

Thing is he was in a really good mood until he found out I'd watched it, which btw was because I stupidly didn't put it back in the exact same place it was before, he's obviously keeping tabs. 

He likes Harry Potter and LOTR and other fantasy stuff but he thinks I'm obsessed, (which I might be just a little) and has come to resent it.


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## catfan (Jan 12, 2013)

We saw the first episode of Game of Thrones, no more than that. As I have low self esteem, it's hard to see so much pretty nude ladies, and the abuse of women in general in it I don't like.
Maybe your husband feels the same about some men in the series? Although there are way more nice looking women in it than men...


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

He does have some self confidence issues but I don't think that's why he hates it so much. He just really doesn't like me watching it when I didn't like watching proper porn with him when we tried it. He does talk about how everyone in it are good looking but it's not like I fancy them over him. I've tried to tell him I don't like it for that side of it. I love fantasy and dragons and the plot of Game of Thrones is really good IMO, but he can't get past the sex.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I'm gonna have to watch this porn...I mean, this show, to figure out why your husband doesn't like it.


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

Yes you should


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

New season starts in 9 days!!

Oh, this is going to be a problem for the OP.


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

I don't have sky so I'm ok until it comes out on DVD, besides I haven't even finished reading the second book yet, what with having to read it in secret and everything.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

There's a lot of judgment in the statements that he's making towards you - That's pornographic, that's just for teenagers, etc. 

Is he like this about other choices in your life, like clothing, friends, etc? 

I ask because sometimes partners can become controlling in a passive/aggressive manner. Slowly isolating you from friends, family, any external influences until you have nothing but them.

It's not always intentional or a direct effort but it's abusive nonetheless.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> I'm gonna have to watch this porn...I mean, this show, to figure out why your husband doesn't like it.


Yes, do..especially Season One because Jason Momoa is in it as a warlord..He's shirtless through most of the first season..and er..it's very, very good for research purposes to watch a shirtless Jason Momoa.


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

TCSRedhead said:


> There's a lot of judgment in the statements that he's making towards you - That's pornographic, that's just for teenagers, etc.
> 
> Is he like this about other choices in your life, like clothing, friends, etc?
> 
> ...


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Morgorah said:


> Some of my friends are a little younger than I am but we're all into the same things.
> My family are very different to his and I know he wants me to be more like his family
> 
> He doesn't try to control other things, just this.
> ...


That's an over the top reaction for a very minor 'infraction'. Something isn't making sense. Either he needs some counseling or there are other issues in the marriage. 

You state that he doesn't try to control other things but you state that he wants you to be more like his family. What is wrong with accepting you as you are? Isn't that who he married and professed to love?


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

What's his family like?


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

the big issue is just that he feels like he's finally growing up and I'm not. He feels I'd rather be caught up in my fantasy worlds in books and tv shows rather than with him which is not the case. We discussed it just last week and I agreed I'd keep these things to myself so we could spend time doing the things we both like together. This was the first time I watched it while he was at work since we had that talked and this is how he's reacted.

His family are great, very supportive and I owe them a lot but they are also very straight people. It's all about business and money for them, there's no nonsense, and although my husband was quite carefree for a while he's definitely becoming like them. 

My family are more about fun family time which he's never wanted to be a part of

Even their reactions to the news we are expecting were totally different. His family immediately asked how we are goin to afford a baby, my family jumped for joy
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Ok, this whole thing is really bothering me. Tacoma, I believe you and I had a discussion about porn vs soft porn vs shows like Game of Thrones and True Blood, right? My husband and I have watched True Blood and a couple seasons of Game of Thrones together. I've seen soft porn (I think that's what we agreed about shows like Red Shoes Diaries?) before my husband and I ever met. I wasn't impressed. He saw harder porn from his dad's collection.. also not impressed. And, I think in the discussion Tacoma and I had, we realized that the reason my husband and I are ok with TB & GoT is that they have an actual plot...which CAN easily stand alone without the sex. But, that's HBO. Gotta have the sex in it. 

Anyway, my point is, Morgorah, that you said your husband is fine with porn, but thinks GoT is "too pornographic"... ummmm what??? That makes absolutely NO sense. If that's too pornographic, what's next? The David??? :scratchhead:


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Morgorah said:


> *the big issue is just that he feels like he's finally growing up and I'm not.* He feels I'd rather be caught up in my fantasy worlds in books and tv shows rather than with him which is not the case. We discussed it just last week and I agreed I'd keep these things to myself so we could spend time doing the things we both like together. This was the first time I watched it while he was at work since we had that talked and this is how he's reacted.
> 
> His family are great, very supportive and I owe them a lot but they are also very straight people. It's all about business and money for them, there's no nonsense, and although my husband was quite carefree for a while he's definitely becoming like them.
> 
> ...


Not growing up? Because you like Harry Potter and GoT? Man... I guess my husband (31 years) and I (37 years) are big kids then! I wonder if he's getting pressure from his family over this...

Regarding the baby on the way: 1. Congratulations! 2. I would have told his family "why, we thought we'd mooch off you for the rest of our lives."  Ugh! Honestly! Some people!


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Congrats on the baby! I'm sorry - this is probably causing you unneeded stress. 

Enjoying a fantasy genre of books, movies or tv does not denote 'immaturity'. It's simply a preference. It sounds like maybe with a baby on the way, he's feeling some of this stress too.

You shouldn't have to hide something mainstream like a dirty little secret. That's just silly. It might be a good idea to see an MC in preparation of how too raise this child so you two can be on the same page.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SolidSnake (Dec 6, 2011)

QUOTE/ Anyway, my point is, Morgorah, that you said your husband is fine with porn, but thinks GoT is "too pornographic"... ummmm what??? That makes absolutely NO sense. If that's too pornographic, what's next? The David??? :scratchhead:[/QUOTE]

ROFL! Haha too funny. The David. 

You know I just finished watching Game of Thrones an hour ago. I read reviews of the show on IMDb, and tons of people were saying that they don't even like fantasy but they like Game of Thrones. It has a much wider appeal. 

Sorry OP, I don't have any advice for you. Maybe your husband doesn't you looking at all the hot men in GoT.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

Well thanks to everyone who has responded to this. I half expected everyone to be like "if you're husband doesn't like it don't do it."

I'm glad this isn't the case and I feel a bit better knowing that I haven't done anything wrong and it's him that has the problem.

I'm just gonna let him sulk it out until he realises he's not talking to me over something completely trivial and stupid, even if it does take a couple if days.

Thanks again for all your support.

Morgorah
X x


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Are you neglecting him in any way shape or form? Choosing this show/ book series over him? You may not think so but take a deeper look. Have you made him wait while you were caught up in this show or whatever? You say he thinks your obsessed... so I'm assuming the frequency you watch/read is interfering into your personal lives a bit? 

Part of it could be he feels neglected and part could be your in laws influence. You two should have a serious discussion and ask him if he is feeling neglected. See what could be done about that then ask him if he is saying your immature due to pressure from outside influences expecting him to act a certain way.


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

Hi this is morgorahs husband hijacking her account.

She was OBSESSED with boy band westlife (in love with shane) around the time we got together and wrote things in her diary (which she left about, course I'm gonna peek) saying how her heart will always be with shane etc and I'm not really the one for her etc...

Tis was the start of the problem and it got worse when she claimed to have "packed it in" and wasn't in love with him anymore , yet multiple time I'd catch her quickly hiding what she was doing from me and I'd be like " what's that?" And I'd find out its westlife stuff.

This is when I found out that she doesn't have a problem lying to me about this stuff. It's not really what's she is doing, it's how she tells me one thing but does another. 

It's a trust issue I have with her because she has been obsessed and in love with celebs in the past, to the point she is writing about how much she loves them in her diarys, while in a relationship with me.

Fast forward five six years and the same stuff is still happening, and the most recent problem that upset me is when I came home from work and she gave me a long description of all the stuff she had done that day, emphasising that she hadn't been on the sofa etc as she'd been so busy, yet game of thones DVD had been moved.

If she'd said she'd watched a bit of GOT then no probs, but she made a point of saying shed been so busy, ie trying to paint a false picture.

We've got a kid on the way, I'm dealing with ALL the financial worries and ill be the sole provider for our family. If I feel she is hiding even the smallest little things from me it hurts me a lot as I'm giving my all for her and feel betrayed.

This isn't about me being prudish to nudity or anything like that. She seems to think it literally about people having sex on the tele...

I'm NOT controlling,she gets EVERYTHING SHE WANTS I just get sick of anything with teenage boys ( boy bands, Harry potter etc)

I'm worrying about our future financially and our child's education and well being, when I see her writing fan fiction about Harry and Draco's bromance, or watching GOT while I'm wondering if I can afford to pay our rent and bills, I start to feel alone.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Alright Mor's hubby. First... I would like to suggest you make an account and join us here at TAM. It would help us to help both of you better. You wouldn't mind doing that would you?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Have either of you thought of marriage counseling?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

SolidSnake said:


> ROFL! Haha too funny. The David.
> 
> You know I just finished watching Game of Thrones an hour ago. I read reviews of the show on IMDb, and tons of people were saying that they don't even like fantasy but they like Game of Thrones. It has a much wider appeal.
> 
> Sorry OP, I don't have any advice for you.* Maybe your husband doesn't you looking at all the hot men in GoT.*


Hot men??? When did that happen? Damn... guess we stopped watching it too soon!


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## Morgorah (Mar 22, 2013)

I won't be making an account, I've taken the afternoon of work so I can talk to her ( again) about why I'm upset with her when she gets back.

counciling isn't going to change my view. 

I feel if I'm going to provide for her in life she needs to compromise and give up the teen boy/hot guys stuff. 

I don't think I can ever be okay with it because of what happened in the past so if it means breaking up then it will be for the best as I have a great life ahead of me and I deserve to be happy. 

If not watching certain media is too much for her and she isnt happy ,it isn't fair on her either. But if I leave her she'll have to go back to her parents in the middle of nowhere and lead a tbh pretty ****ty life.

I only ever think of what's best for her and now a baby is part of the equation divorce etc seems like the wrong thing to do but if she can't give up the teen crap and move on in life with me I know I won't be happy with her as my wife.

Just to give some perpective I'm inheriting a business from my family and ill be better of than most people. My father is 76 and has worked his whole life from being a working class miner to leading an auction house in London, I have a lot to live up to. My mother had 5 kids and has giving everything to provide us all with the best of everything.

It's my responsibility to be grown up and look after ALL my family when my dad dies.

Morgorahs mother is disabled cant get out much and is obsessed with tv. teen pop culture and not much else.( boys boys boys)

her dad drinks smokes gambles and lives of the benefit money he gets for being her carer, but he doesn't even do that properly.

I'm trying to do the right thing and need the support of my wife who i feel simply doesn't understand what I'm talking about.

Now there is a kid, Im providing her with a stable future, and the best environment to raise children. 

I need to be able to trust and respect her, and while she is obsessed with all this teen crap I simply can't do either.

Anyway I won't post again I understand this is weird


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Morgorah said:


> Hi this is morgorahs husband hijacking her account.


Hi Mr. Mor. Welcome to TAM. I want to second Gaia's suggestion that you get an account of your own as well, so we can easily identify who is talking. 



Morgorah said:


> She was OBSESSED with boy band westlife (in love with shane) around the time we got together and wrote things in her diary (which she left about, course I'm gonna peek) saying how her heart will always be with shane etc and I'm not really the one for her etc...
> 
> Tis was the start of the problem and it got worse when she claimed to have "packed it in" and wasn't in love with him anymore , yet multiple time I'd catch her quickly hiding what she was doing from me and I'd be like " what's that?" And I'd find out its westlife stuff.


Westlife, huh? I just heard of them last year and became obsessed with their music as well. As far as celebrity obsessions are concerned, my husband teased me unmercifully about being obsessed with Brendan Fraser until a couple years ago. And I was. He thought it was funny, actually. Why? Because HE knew that, no matter how much I "loved" Brendan, there was no way I would try to literally go after the man. And now... my obsession is Orlando Bloom. And yes, he absolutely knows this.



Morgorah said:


> This is when I found out that she doesn't have a problem lying to me about this stuff. It's not really what's she is doing, it's how she tells me one thing but does another.
> 
> It's a trust issue I have with her because she has been obsessed and in love with celebs in the past, to the point she is writing about how much she loves them in her diarys, while in a relationship with me.


Writing about how much she loves them in her diaries? Yea, that's a bit much. Like I said, I've been obsessed with celebs as well, but not to the point that I write about them.

Also, I can understand OCCASIONALLY looking at the memorabilia... but looking at it obsessively... no. Is she "allowed" to listen to Westlife's music?

Question, Mr. Mor... is there a celeb you have a "thing" for? Anyone at all? Are you opposed to role playing?



Morgorah said:


> Fast forward five six years and the same stuff is still happening, and the most recent problem that upset me is when I came home from work and she gave me a long description of all the stuff she had done that day, emphasising that she hadn't been on the sofa etc as she'd been so busy, yet game of thones DVD had been moved.
> 
> If she'd said she'd watched a bit of GOT then no probs, but she made a point of saying shed been so busy, ie trying to paint a false picture.


So... because the DVD had been moved, THAT OBVIOUSLY meant she was sitting on the sofa watching it all day long?? Tell me, were the things she listed actually done?

So, answer honestly: Do you, or do you not, have a problem with her watching GoT AT ALL? If so, what EXACTLY is the problem you have with this show?



Morgorah said:


> We've got a kid on the way, I'm dealing with ALL the financial worries and ill be the sole provider for our family. If I feel she is hiding even the smallest little things from me it hurts me a lot as I'm giving my all for her and feel betrayed.





Morgorah said:


> This isn't about me being prudish to nudity or anything like that. She seems to think it literally about people having sex on the tele...
> 
> I'm NOT controlling,she gets EVERYTHING SHE WANTS I just get sick of anything with teenage boys ( boy bands, Harry potter etc)


Boy bands? Teen boys? Pray your child doesn't become obsessed with them, then. What am I saying??? My 12 year old niece is obsessed with One Direction... and my 6 year old daughter is obsessed with Justin Bieber. Dude, with a kid coming, you're screwed in this department. Sorry to break that to you. You are going to be SURROUNDED by that stuff, I suspect, if you have a daughter. 



Morgorah said:


> I'm worrying about our future financially and our child's education and well being, when I see her writing fan fiction about Harry and Draco's bromance, or watching GOT while I'm wondering if I can afford to pay our rent and bills, I start to feel alone.


Ok, is she home all day? When is the baby due? Does she work outside the home right now? Are all the daily/weekly/monthly chores/jobs done around the house?

I ask these things because you make it sound as if she is neglecting all work around the house in favor of watching GoT and writing fanfic...as if she does nothing all day, everyday. Trust me when I say I understand how hard it is, worrying about rent and bills each month. I also know how it feels to be home all day, everyday. For years, I played an online game with my husband. $30/month subscription for the two of us ($15 each). We no longer play it, but we love reading the books that go with it. We watch Harry Potter, have all of the movies. We watch them with the kids. Our oldest is reading the books right now. 

Anyway, the point is that writing in diaries about how in love one is with a celebrity is wierd when in a relationship/married. But it's also wierd to keep tabs on whether someone is watching a television series when it is a purchased set. Would you keep track so "religiously" if it was NCIS? I man, DAMN... Mark Harmon is HOT!


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

No no.. I feel you should post. In fact I hope you do. I hope you reconsider making an account. I do have a few suggestions for you. A relationship takes compromise and sacrifice on both parts. It will do you no good trash talking her family and constantly comparing. You married her knowing who she was. You accepted her then and frankly it's not your responsibility to care for your entire family after your father passes. They are all adults. Your only real priority is your wife and child. 

A counselor isn't meant to change your mind on anything by the way. It's meant to be a place for both spouses to communicate with what could be considered a mediator/ translator. A counselor helps each couple see their spouses point of view. 

I do hope you reconsider that as well. You always have a choice in what you do in life. Yes you deserve to be happy, as does she. There is a way for you both to be happy together. You both seem to have a bit of a control issue among other things. You should try to be more empathetic to your wife just as she should try to be more empathetic to your needs, wants, and desires.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

From what you say it sounds like you work hard while she spends that time watching tv.She sounds lazy and is looking for someone to be her provider.

I suggest you get postnuptial agreement to protect your inheritance assets.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

NewM said:


> From what you say it sounds like you work hard while she spends that time watching tv.She sounds lazy and is looking for someone to be her provider.
> 
> I suggest you get postnuptial agreement to protect your inheritance assets.


Right. She's lazy because she watches a TV show. 

And that's why I asked if the things she said she did all day were actually done. Because of they were, then I don't see what the problem is with watching a show on TV.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Right. She's lazy because she watches a TV show.
> 
> And that's why I asked if the things she said she did all day were actually done. Because of they were, then I don't see what the problem is with watching a show on TV.


Its not just TV show,it is TV show in combination with other things he said.

Lying to your spouse is cool,yeah I don't see what the problem with that is. :scratchhead:


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Keep in mind the OP is originally the wife and clearly the husband isn't without fault. Especially considering his wife deems in necessary to hide the fact she enjoys a tv show and he has purposely hi jacked her account. There is something very telling in that itself. Of course if the OP was indeed obsessing like the husband stated ... his actions are understandable but still quite over the top to hijack her account. 

Like I said... it seems both need some serious therapy. Both have issues needing to be worked out.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Westlife, huh? I just heard of them last year and became obsessed with their music as well. As far as celebrity obsessions are concerned, my husband teased me unmercifully about being obsessed with Brendan Fraser until a couple years ago. And I was. He thought it was funny, actually. Why? Because HE knew that, no matter how much I "loved" Brendan, there was no way I would try to literally go after the man. And now... my obsession is Orlando Bloom. And yes, he absolutely knows this.


Did you also have diaries about Brandon/Orlando and how your heart will always be with Brandon/Orlando and how your husband isn't really the one for you?Just because your husband is ok with it doesn't mean he should also be ok with it.


Maricha75 said:


> Anyway, the point is that writing in diaries about how in love one is with a celebrity is wierd when in a relationship/married. But it's also wierd to keep tabs on whether someone is watching a television series when it is a purchased set.


It is not weird because he has trust issues with herscratchhead:I wonder why).


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## SolidSnake (Dec 6, 2011)

NewM said:


> Its not just TV show,it is TV show in combination with other things he said.
> 
> Lying to your spouse is cool,yeah I don't see what the problem with that is. :scratchhead:



I agree, you get a much fuller picture when you hear it from both sides. The OP lying to avoid trouble is problematic. Why does the OP not work? Part of the problem seems to be the husbands resentment that she sits around watching GoT while he is out providing for them both. I don't understand these men who allow their childless wives not to work and then get all resentful about the outcome. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

NewM said:


> Did you also have diaries about Brandon/Orlando and how your heart will always be with Brandon/Orlando and how your husband isn't really the one for you?Just because your husband is ok with it doesn't mean he should also be ok with it.


Funny, that's been stated about many things on this site.. "just because you (or your spouse) is ok with something, doesn't mean someone else is"... Funny how it's ok (in some eyes) to have issue with this, but it's NOT ok for a woman (usually) to have issue with her husband watching porn because he hides it from her or whatever other EXCUSES are given to her. Very interesting....

And no, I didn't have diaries of that sort of thing. I stopped writing in diaries when I was about 12 years old.. and tossed them all out.



NewM said:


> It is not weird because he has trust issues with herscratchhead:I wonder why).


It's weird, IMO, because it sounds like she has to account for every. single. minute. of her day. So if the DVD was moved, it OBVIOUSLY means she watched it while she was home, doing other things throughout the day, which she clearly stated she had done. So now, she has to account for every. single. show/movie she watches all day...or that's what it seems, because it's obviously not allowed for her to watch something they already own. 

Oh and my husband and I have had issues with trust. Ours, however, are related to people we actually had conversations with.... not with TV shows/movies/actors.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Funny, that's been stated about many things on this site.. "just because you (or your spouse) is ok with something, doesn't mean someone else is"... Funny how it's ok (in some eyes) to have issue with this, but it's NOT ok for a woman (usually) to have issue with her husband watching porn because he hides it from her or whatever other EXCUSES are given to her. Very interesting....


I don't think this scenario you are talking about is connected to them.Why I said that you shouldn't compare your husband to him is because you don't have history of writing about your "crush",your heart belonging to him and how your husband isn't really the one for you,totally different scenario here.


Maricha75 said:


> It's weird, IMO, because it sounds like she has to account for every. single. minute. of her day. So if the DVD was moved, it OBVIOUSLY means she watched it while she was home, doing other things throughout the day, which she clearly stated she had done. So now, she has to account for every. single. show/movie she watches all day...or that's what it seems, because it's obviously not allowed for her to watch something they already own


It would be weird if she didn't have any history of her diaries and lying.If she wasn't lying to him he wouldn't have caught her in a lie and she wouldn't be posting here about this problem,*but he did*.It is weird that he must constantly be on the lookout because she keeps lying to him.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

NewM said:


> I don't think this scenario you are talking about is connected to them.Why I said that you shouldn't compare your husband to him is because you don't have history of writing about your "crush",your heart belonging to him and how your husband isn't really the one for you,totally different scenario here.


Yea, even worse with me... I was texting with a guy who was supposed to be his friend and stated an email/texting affair with him. Ho, yea, I can absolutely identify with the scenario. Just substitute Shane from Westlife for K from Canada and very similar.



NewM said:


> It would be weird if she didn't have any history of her diaries and lying.If she wasn't lying to him he wouldn't have caught her in a lie and she wouldn't be posting here about this problem,*but he did*.It is weird that he must constantly be on the lookout because she keeps lying to him.


And again, I say (or maybe I didn't make it clear)... she got the work done in the house that she said she did. But, she's obviously lying to him because the DVD was moved, so, she HAD to be watching a little bit. Yet, he doesn't want to hear about it...but is ok when she does watch it, as long as she tells him. Am I the only one who sees this as ridiculous? I get the stupidity of a grown woman being that obsessed over celebs. But for a man to say "Yes, honey, you can own the DVDs, but you can't watch them unless you tell me you are going to.... oh, and by the way, I don't want to hear about it." WTF???


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Yea, even worse with me... I was texting with a guy who was supposed to be his friend and stated an email/texting affair with him. Ho, yea, I can absolutely identify with the scenario. Just substitute Shane from Westlife for K from Canada and very similar.


It is different,are you still texting/emailing some other man while lying about/hiding it from your husband?


Maricha75 said:


> And again, I say (or maybe I didn't make it clear)... she got the work done in the house that she said she did. But, she's obviously lying to him because the DVD was moved, so, she HAD to be watching a little bit. Yet, he doesn't want to hear about it...but is ok when she does watch it, as long as she tells him. Am I the only one who sees this as ridiculous? I get the stupidity of a grown woman being that obsessed over celebs. But for a man to say "Yes, honey, you can own the DVDs, but you can't watch them unless you tell me you are going to.... oh, and by the way, I don't want to hear about it." WTF???


You keep bringing up how she got work done but I don't remember her saying she got the work done.Him not wanting to hear about it?He took time off work to discuss it with her and even posted here.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

NewM said:


> It is different,are you still texting/emailing some other man while lying about/hiding it from your husband?


Am I now? No. Was I then? Yes. Surely you are familiar with the term "emotional affair". And he, eventually, did the same thing. But during that time, yes, I hid it from him and lied about it the whole time.



NewM said:


> You keep bringing up how she got work done but I don't remember her saying she got the work done.Him not wanting to hear about it?He took time off work to discuss it with her and even posted here.


Oh, sorry, I made the assumption that she got it done because Mr. Mor said she made a point of telling him how busy she was that day...listing the things she did. 

Yes, he decided to "hijack her account" (his words) to tell us his side. He won't try counseling because it won't change his views (his words, again). He'd rather "My way or the highway"? Counseling could work...for both of them. But my guess is he's afraid the counselor will tell him he needs to lighten up regarding this subject or that they should split. Kinda hard for someone with such a rigid upbringing to just "lighten up".

Look, NewM, you and I aren't going to see eye to eye on this particular subject. He says he's ok with her watching it whenhe's not around..fine. Then let her watch it and don't throw a fit about it. If it's that big a deal, then just get rid of it altogether. Obsessing about a boy band is teen crap. Watching an HBO TV show like GoT is not. 



Morgorah said:


> the big issue is just that he feels like he's finally growing up and I'm not. He feels I'd rather be caught up in my fantasy worlds in books and tv shows rather than with him which is not the case. We discussed it just last week and *I agreed I'd keep these things to myself so we could spend time doing the things we both like together.* This was the first time I watched it while he was at work since we had that talked and this is how he's reacted.





Morgorah said:


> Hi this is morgorahs husband hijacking her account.
> 
> ....the most recent problem that upset me is when I came home from work and she gave me a *long description of all the stuff she had done that day*, emphasising that she hadn't been on the sofa etc as she'd been so busy, yet game of thones DVD had been moved.
> 
> If she'd said she'd watched a bit of GOT then no probs, but she made a point of saying shed been so busy, ie trying to paint a false picture.





Morgorah said:


> I won't be making an account, I've taken the afternoon of work so I can talk to her ( again) about why I'm upset with her when she gets back.
> 
> *counciling isn't going to change my view. *
> 
> ...


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Starting with the "all men watch it, they just hide it from their wives" huh?


Depends on how you define it. If your definition of porn is "GOTs" then all guys see it. Playboy is porn.


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## NewM (Apr 11, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Yes, he decided to "hijack her account" (his words) to tell us his side. He won't try counseling because it won't change his views (his words, again). He'd rather "My way or the highway"? Counseling could work...for both of them. But my guess is he's afraid the counselor will tell him he needs to lighten up regarding this subject or that they should split. Kinda hard for someone with such a rigid upbringing to just "lighten up".


I think he is correct with not doing counseling,first he said they might have some financial problems right now.Second he already said it that they will either have to split or she has to change her lying and teen boy/hot guys stuff so he doesn't need counselor to tell him that.

Yes we will have to agree to disagree on this but same goes for agreeing to disagreeing with him,his life his actions.If he can't tolerate this nobody can tell him he is anything bad for it considering her history with that stuff.Look at her posts,she came here for advice but decided to omit most important parts of the story.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Depends on how you define it. If your definition of porn is "GOTs" then all guys see it. Playboy is porn.


IMO, GoT is not porn.

Playboy is porn, I agree.

Not all men watch Playboy (or the like).

I can say with confidence, not all men watch porn.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

I'm 29, I like fantasy. While my particular specialty of interest is Tolkien, I can geek out about Star Trek, Star War, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Firefly, and probably about a half dozen other geeky things. 

I don't think that makes me immature or childish, it makes me a well read and culturally aware individual. I challenge anyone who doesn't have both a high reading level and patience factor to plow through The Silmarillion. 

So - I have to imagine this within my "fandom" as it were. I love of the Lord of the Rings triology, I think they are breath taking and beautiful, and bring to life one of the most intriguing pieces of literature written. I'd be kind of irked if my H declared that I was no longer at any point allowed to watch them because I might be giving Aragorn the eye (which I'm so not). 

Are you allowed to make similiar rules for him, OP? Or - OP's husband, if you are still logging into her account. If she says, you aren't allowed to watch - I don't know - Discworld, the chicks are too hot. Is that alright? If she's out grocery shopping on the weekends when you are home, do you call her cell to get permission to watch TV?

I think expecting her to not have any hobbies or fantasies or interests because you have a lot to live up to with your family, and the sole responsibility after your father dies (which, if he's making that much money - shouldn't he have life insurance?) is a bit much. She's 25, and you are only 30, you are both way to young to start acting like life is over. 

No, lying too your spouse isn't a good policy, but - it's a no win situation. She tells you the truth, you are pissed. She lies, you are pissed. The solution is she stops liking what she likes and stops being who she is because you say so. Which - that's not really the foundation of a healthy relationship, even if she agrees, she'll resent that over time. 

As for the fanfiction issue, that entirely depends on what it is. I mean, is it "adult" fan fiction which is basically plot driven smut? If so, that might be a more difficult thing to argue against.


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## LouAnn Poovy (Mar 21, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> Starting with the "all men watch it, they just hide it from their wives" huh?


This statement just boggles my mind. I know my ex husband did not watch porn. He said why would I watch porn when I have you? I don't want to watch people have sex, I want to HAVE sex, with you! So no, every man does not watch it.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LouAnn Poovy said:


> This statement just boggles my mind. I know my ex husband did not watch porn. He said why would I watch porn when I have you? I don't want to watch people have sex, I want to HAVE sex, with you! So no, every man does not watch it.


LouAnn, mine was a response to what someone else had said. Of course I know not all men watch porn. My husband doesn't. That's why I did the ":eyeroll:" after what I said... AND put it in quotes... because it's a ridiculous sentiment I have seen stated on here many times over.


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## LouAnn Poovy (Mar 21, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> LouAnn, mine was a response to what someone else had said. Of course I know not all men watch porn. My husband doesn't. That's why I did the ":eyeroll:" after what I said... AND put it in quotes... because it's a ridiculous sentiment I have seen stated on here many times over.


*Thanks for the clarification. I sometimes think I'm just floating all alone out here in my "all men don't watch porn" sea. *


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Why is he mad at you over this? Does he see that separate interests are a part of life? Does he have some particular issue with the show itself? This seems like it's about something else. Maybe counseling is a good idea?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Ok I watched the first two episodes of this show...I think maybe the OP's husband is intimidated by that Mr. Clean dude who rapes his albino wife a few times until she "tames" him. I'm sure the OP's husband is like "crap, I hope she's not into THAT". Just a guess.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I feel sorry for the poor baby that's going to be born into this dysfunctional relationship/home. She comes off as being over the top by obsessing over things too much. She acts like a teenager sitting in his parent's basement playing video games 24/7. 

He sounds like a stick-in-the-mud control freak with the sense of humor of Ebenezer Scrooge.  :slap:. He hijacked her account? He checks to see if the DVD moved? He'll DIVORCE her because she likes boy bands and fantasy? :wtf: 

I'm wondering how the heck these two even got together.  It's a shame they did so because of the baby. The child is the one that's going to suffer because I see a bad ending here. 

My advice is that they should get some serious counseling. He won't do it so if I were her I'd suck it up and do what he wants otherwise she and the baby are going to be stuck in the middle of nowhere with HER dysfunctional family. For the child's sake she needs to shape up and act like a wife and mother. 

My husband had problems but he got me into Tolkien, Earthsea, Harry Potter and World of Warcraft so for that I'm grateful to him. We had other problems but that wasn't one of them. 

Sure am glad I'm getting divorced. Threads like this remind of why I am.


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

Seriously, even if she left hr diaries laying around he had no business snooping in them unless he suspected an affair. Does he really think she is going to run off and have an affair with a celebrity? Seriously? Is this even a remote possibility? 

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

At which point a journal is nothing more than an unattainable fantasy. Regardless of how juvenile it is, it will always be an unattainable fantasy.

Mr. Mor, if you are that willing to refuse to bend, perhaps she would be better off without you. If she knows how angry you get over the idea of GoT why should she be honest with you? You have proven you are not safe to be truthful with. It is a t.v. show. Get over yourself. 

If her household duties are done, then what she does during her rest time...which, as a pregnant woman she must take, is up to her. You cannot dictate her free time like this or she will run. But then again, if you are that unbending, maybe she should. Marriage does not seem like a partnership to you, but more of an opportunity to control all she does.

Stay out of her journals. She has given you no reason to believe she is unfaithful. Let her have her fantasies. They are simply that, fantasies.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Yup, it's just journals and fantasy. 

There are a lot of *adults *into that sort of thing: see Star Trek and Star Trek conventions, Renaissance Fairs, ComicCons, etc.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

My home country had real dragons once. I've been to the caves. 

I have seen GOT and I think its silly stuff. All that fantasy foolery I just don't understand. Escapism can be too much, and I think this is what her husband fears. He wants a wife who is on the ball, making a home for her family, not daydreaming about hunky men she doesn't know and who are oblivious to her existence. Silly, silly woman.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

:iagree:
With everything NewM said!

She is not priortizing her days and her values are whacked!

This is no different than gammers who dont get things done,
I wish I had time for all that, but 4 kids in college and a wife with MS dosnt give me much time, but I know the problem he is looking at and she is not ready to step up. Its not just now he is looking ahead as adults do, she is stuck in her "Happy Place". I thank God for my wifes maturity, we could not have made it through together if she were this "Girl"! Oh and no she does NOT have to lie!

Plus what she wrote about him, we have heard that before, ILYBIANILWY, she is not a horse I would bet on!


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