# honest opnions needed please folks.



## Andy78 (Jan 5, 2014)

Ho folks,

I could do with some advice/perspective please..

I am a 35 year old happily married guy with one kid. I have been with my wife for 13 years and married for 5. All is good in our marriage. Here is the issue......

Ever since I was a teen I knew that I could be attracted to both genders. I have never actually had an experience with another guy and I have always preferred to keep this side of my sexuality as fantasy. I had relationships with women prior to meeting my wife. 

I love my wife very much and I must stress that I have NEVER cheated and I would NEVER cheat on her however I have never spoken to her about the fact that I am able to be attracted to both genders. Up until now it has never worried me as I never saw it as relevant due to the fact that I am 100% committed to out marriage and have no desire to actually be with anyone else. 

I read an article recently about a guy in a similar situation and one reader accused him of deceiving his wife by not discussing it with her. This has made me paranoid. I am now wondering if I need to raise a conversation with her regarding this but am terrified that she will misinterpret it as me wanting to cheat or experiment which is SO not the case. I also worry that she will think I am closeted and using her as a cover - I know that this happens but this is not my situation at all. I also worry that I could affect the stanility of our child as I would really hate that. 

If i had ever felt the need to cheat or experiment then I would definitely have discussed it with her but this has never happened. 

Do you think I should bring it up now and am I being deceitful by not discussing it with her?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Sometimes I find myself attracted to other women. I don't act on it, and I don't share the information with my wife. I can't see sharing that information being of any benefit whatsoever.

Seems to me that the same would hold true in your situation.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Unless you suddenly and covertly act on your impulses, you should be good! If you do, however, then a "Come to Jesus Meeting" with your spouse is totally necessary!*


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Hmm..coming from a woman...if your marriage is going well, do not want to do anything to hurt it. 
I'm not sure what the advantage of telling her would be, other than clearing your head about it.

Is she super kinky or has she ever expressed an interest in watching you hook up with other guys? If not, I'd keep it to yourself, in your fantasy world.
If my husband confessed to that, I would not be able to look at him the same- it would confuse me about everything we had. 

I honestly don't think it would be worth it..unless this is about more- as in, you are planning on coming out of the closet & need to live true to yourself. 
If not, let it be.
Focus on what you have & feel grateful: )
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

How many times are you going to post this same question?


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

richie33 said:


> How many times are you going to post this same question?


At least four.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Getting kind of trollish.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This is fking stupid mate, alright you like guys too, so what the hell does that change? You've still given your wife your commitment, since when did being bi mean that you have a ticket to be unfaithful?

Why is this even a topic?

:slap:


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## Andy78 (Jan 5, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> This is fking stupid mate, alright you like guys too, so what the hell does that change? You've still given your wife your commitment, since when did being bi mean that you have a ticket to be unfaithful?
> 
> Why is this even a topic?
> 
> :slap:


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Andy78 (Jan 5, 2014)

Hi thanks for posting. I don't see it as a passport to cheat and my question was whether I should tell my wife or not. 

Sorry for posting in different forums I didn't realise that this was an issue. I will delete some threads later.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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