# Previous cheating, social media bs



## Jchris (May 22, 2017)

So Ive been with my wife now for going on 2 years, the way we started dating was pretty ****ed up honestly, she was with someone else and she started living with me. She cheated on him with at least four other guys myself being one of them, although I didnt know about 2 of the other 3 at the time. Eventually she broke up with him and we started dating officially, and a couple weeks in i discovered she tried getting back with her ex and was sexting a couple other guys. I confronted her and she denied it but after arguing for a while she agreed to stop talking to them. We got engaged and everything seemed fine for a few months but i grew suspicious of her behaviour on social media. After checking her facebook i discovered she cheated on me with one of my best friends, had made plans to meet with two other men and was talking to several other men. I confronted her on this and after a huge fight she agreed to stop and be honest with me, well by this point i was constantly paranoid and checking anything she used to contact other people(I call these the dark days of my relationship), it went on for months, she was always a very outgoing person and was flirting with guys before we were together, so even after we were together these guys were constantly talking to her, and shes the kind of person that wants to talk to everybody so most of her conversations were meaningless but the problem was how much she was always talking to them, some on a daily basis, some of them would flirt, and she wouldnt flirt back but she didnt stop them either. it continued like that for the next year, she never crossed the line and she gradually started telling them to stop and the conversations dropped as well. but then she started using snapchat and became close with another man, they would constantly snap back and forth like literally every couple minutes, i felt like a third wheel with my own wife. she even lied to me saying she got an extra shift at work so she could secretly hangout with him, once i found that out as well i confronted her for another huge fight, she denied any infidelity and claimed they were only friends, i didnt believe her at first but she broke down and started crying so i took her word for it and we worked from there, they stopped talking for awhile but i feel like that was more due to our financial problems at the time we were homeless and lost a lot of our belongings. so recently she got a new phone and shes been snap chatting him again. I hate snapchat because you cant keep track of the messages the only thing i know for sure is shes talking to the same person daily again. Im just sick of dealing with the drama so i havent brought it up again. Im honestly just thinking about telling her I want a divorce, but a part of me doesnt want to end my marriage like that. So here I am, any advice?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Married a serial cheater, you were one of her OMs, and now she cheated on you. 

And you really didn't see this coming?!? Come on man.....


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Jchris said:


> So Ive been with my wife now for going on 2 years, the way we started dating was pretty ****ed up honestly, she was with someone else and she started living with me. She cheated on him with at least four other guys myself being one of them, although I didnt know about 2 of the other 3 at the time. Eventually she broke up with him and we started dating officially, and a couple weeks in i discovered she tried getting back with her ex and was sexting a couple other guys. I confronted her and she denied it but after arguing for a while she agreed to stop talking to them. We got engaged and everything seemed fine for a few months but i grew suspicious of her behaviour on social media. After checking her facebook i discovered she cheated on me with one of my best friends, had made plans to meet with two other men and was talking to several other men. I confronted her on this and after a huge fight she agreed to stop and be honest with me, well by this point i was constantly paranoid and checking anything she used to contact other people(I call these the dark days of my relationship), it went on for months, she was always a very outgoing person and was flirting with guys before we were together, so even after we were together these guys were constantly talking to her, and shes the kind of person that wants to talk to everybody so most of her conversations were meaningless but the problem was how much she was always talking to them, some on a daily basis, some of them would flirt, and she wouldnt flirt back but she didnt stop them either. it continued like that for the next year, she never crossed the line and she gradually started telling them to stop and the conversations dropped as well. but then she started using snapchat and became close with another man, they would constantly snap back and forth like literally every couple minutes, i felt like a third wheel with my own wife. she even lied to me saying she got an extra shift at work so she could secretly hangout with him, once i found that out as well i confronted her for another huge fight, she denied any infidelity and claimed they were only friends, i didnt believe her at first but she broke down and started crying so i took her word for it and we worked from there, they stopped talking for awhile but i feel like that was more due to our financial problems at the time we were homeless and lost a lot of our belongings. so recently she got a new phone and shes been snap chatting him again. I hate snapchat because you cant keep track of the messages the only thing i know for sure is shes talking to the same person daily again. Im just sick of dealing with the drama so i havent brought it up again. Im honestly just thinking about telling her I want a divorce, but a part of me doesnt want to end my marriage like that. So here I am, any advice?


Your wife is a serial cheat.You have two choices.
1. Accept this behaviour.
2.Grow a set of balls and move on.


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## Jchris (May 22, 2017)

Ive been thinking that but i really helps when someone else says it thanks.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

aw she will probably stop on her own. Just keep treating her nice and you will see she will just one day quit banging all your friends and then you can live happy ever after.


just a little patience and things will work out.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

OP has more than one thread going. Here's another...


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Kivlor said:


> OP has more than one thread going. Here's another...


It's not exactly the Brady bunch is it.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Jchris said:


> -The way we started dating was pretty ****ed up honestly, she was with someone else and she started living with me.
> 
> -She cheated on him with at least four other guys myself being one of them, although I didn't know about 2 of the other 3 at the time.
> 
> ...


All the above before you were even married - and you decided it was a good idea to go ahead and tie the knot? Sigh.

You need to face the facts. Your wife was a serial cheater, is a serial cheater, and will always be a serial cheater. You should divorce her immediately, get some counseling for co-dependence/low self esteem, and move on with your life before kids are involved.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

chillymorn69 said:


> aw she will probably stop on her own. Just keep treating her nice and you will see she will just one day quit banging all your friends and then you can live happy ever after.
> 
> 
> just a little patience and things will work out.


Yeah,any time in the next thirty years she will stop screwing numerous guys and settle down with just you and one or maybe two others.
Something to look forward to isn't it.


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## Jchris (May 22, 2017)

pretty much Ive been keeping all this **** to myself for too long so bring on the insults,maybe itll help me make the decision finally.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

Andy1001 said:


> It's not exactly the Brady bunch is it.


I don't know, I never watched Canadian Television. It's all Gunsmoke and Have Gun Will Travel out here. :wink2:

Sounds like home to me though. And that means if I were OP I'd be getting the hell out of there as fast as possible.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Jchris said:


> pretty much Ive been keeping all this **** to myself for too long so *bring on the insults*,maybe itll help me make the decision finally.


They're not insults Jchris; we call them 2x4's. And if that's what it takes to head you in the right direction, then you'll be thanking us for them in time.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

So you played the other other other guy, and you honestly thought that she was the one...lets be honest, you knew what type of person you were marrying but you thought that your live was enough, that what you had was special and different then anything she had before....now you now, wile you can't get back your last two years, please stop this charade, its time to walk away from this marriage...because if you don't then your not just going to be a spouse she cheated on but you will be a willing an acceptable cuckold husband. You should have left you when she had sex with your best friend...btw dump him as well.


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

What thought processes did you have prior to saying "I do" that ever suggested that marrying her was a good idea?

Not to belabor the point that you made in your other thread, but her family is a hot mess. And she is supporting it. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree in this case.

All the warning signs were there telling you that she wasn't marriage material!


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

File for D / go see your attorney.

She is not marriage material.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I had a friend once. 

He came crying to me one night about fifteen years ago.

_"Oh Bandit, my wife cheated on me! Why would she do that? She met a guy and he just took her to his house and had sex with her after she got off work last night? Why would she do that?"_ :crying:

I looked at him and said..."Um...maybe because she's a stripper?" :surprise:


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

bandit.45 said:


> I had a friend once.
> 
> He came crying to me one night about fifteen years ago.
> 
> ...


I met a girl one night and she came home with me.Beautiful girl but not troubled by over intelligence.The following morning I asked her did she want to go for breakfast but she said no as her boyfriend or some of his friends might see us.I didn't know she had a bf and I asked her why wasn't she faithful to him.I have never forgotten what she told me.
First she said she was thinking of her boyfriend while we were having sex so it wasn't really cheating.
Then she said she had been faithful to him.Lots of times.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> I met a girl one night and she came home with me.Beautiful girl but not troubled by over intelligence.The following morning I asked her did she want to go for breakfast but she said no as her boyfriend or some of his friends might see us.I didn't know she had a bf and I asked her why wasn't she faithful to him.I have never forgotten what she told me.
> First she said she was thinking of her boyfriend while we were having sex so it wasn't really cheating.
> *Then she said she had been faithful to him.Lots of times.*


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> I met a girl one night and she came home with me.Beautiful girl but not troubled by over intelligence.The following morning I asked her did she want to go for breakfast but she said no as her boyfriend or some of his friends might see us.I didn't know she had a bf and I asked her why wasn't she faithful to him.I have never forgotten what she told me.
> First she said she was thinking of her boyfriend while we were having sex so it wasn't really cheating.
> Then she said she had been faithful to him.Lots of times.


*This is, no doubt, exactly what my RSXW must have told her OMen that she was so fastidiously banging while out on the road, all while we were "still happily married!"*


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

arbitrator said:


> *This is, no doubt, exactly what my RSXW must have told her OMen that she was so fastidiously banging while out on the road, all while we were "still happily married!"*


Arb in another life I was an apprentice electrician for two years.One of the electricians and his girlfriend were getting engaged and they threw a big party in a bar with a dj for the evening.When the bar shut we went back to his house to carry on drinking.It was only then that he realised his fiancée wasn't with us.A few of us went back to the bar to find her and we did.
She was in the van with the dj screwing him.


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## Keke24 (Sep 2, 2016)

OP, eww, just eww. 

You do realize there are plenty normal women who would be interested in a young man like yourself, right? With normal, non-drug addicted, non-unemployed families right?


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Jchris said:


> So Ive been with my wife now for going on 2 years, the way we started dating was pretty ****ed up honestly, she was with someone else and she started living with me. She cheated on him with at least four other guys myself being one of them, although I didnt know about 2 of the other 3 at the time. Eventually she broke up with him and we started dating officially, and a couple weeks in i discovered she tried getting back with her ex and was sexting a couple other guys. I confronted her and she denied it but after arguing for a while she agreed to stop talking to them. We got engaged and everything seemed fine for a few months but i grew suspicious of her behaviour on social media. After checking her facebook i discovered she cheated on me with one of my best friends, had made plans to meet with two other men and was talking to several other men. I confronted her on this and after a huge fight she agreed to stop and be honest with me, well by this point i was constantly paranoid and checking anything she used to contact other people(I call these the dark days of my relationship), it went on for months, she was always a very outgoing person and was flirting with guys before we were together, so even after we were together these guys were constantly talking to her, and shes the kind of person that wants to talk to everybody so most of her conversations were meaningless but the problem was how much she was always talking to them, some on a daily basis, some of them would flirt, and she wouldnt flirt back but she didnt stop them either. it continued like that for the next year, she never crossed the line and she gradually started telling them to stop and the conversations dropped as well. but then she started using snapchat and became close with another man, they would constantly snap back and forth like literally every couple minutes, i felt like a third wheel with my own wife. she even lied to me saying she got an extra shift at work so she could secretly hangout with him, once i found that out as well i confronted her for another huge fight, she denied any infidelity and claimed they were only friends, i didnt believe her at first but she broke down and started crying so i took her word for it and we worked from there, they stopped talking for awhile but i feel like that was more due to our financial problems at the time we were homeless and lost a lot of our belongings. so recently she got a new phone and shes been snap chatting him again. I hate snapchat because you cant keep track of the messages the only thing i know for sure is shes talking to the same person daily again. Im just sick of dealing with the drama so i havent brought it up again. Im honestly just thinking about telling her I want a divorce, but a part of me doesnt want to end* my marriage* like that. So here I am, any advice?


OP,
Reread your post. If you can read that and still use the word marriage to describe the horrible predicament in which you find yourself then it is truly sad. Find a real woman who has integrity and honors her word and you will see how you have misused the word. Good fortune


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I think you need to grow a pair leave this serial cheater and go get tested for STD's, she will never stop.

If they do it with you, they will do it to you.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Well, she is not just a serial cheater. She is also a parallel cheater.

But the Original Poster was perfectly happy being one of the Other Men, so I can't think of any advice.


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## Tatsuhiko (Jun 21, 2016)

Jchris, nobody's trying to insult you. You made some mistakes when you were young--we all do. Now's the time to recognize those mistakes, turn over a new leaf, and move on. There's nothing to save in your marriage. It never was a marriage.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Between the meth house you live in and her cheating, you need to divorce her and move on.

She's a mess. You do not need that in your life.

Why are you putting up with all this?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Might want to get an STD test Immediately


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Wolf1974 said:


> Might want to get an STD test Immediately


He may not need to.His **** will probably fall off on its own.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Between the meth house you live in and her cheating, you need to divorce her and move on.
> 
> She's a mess. You do not need that in your life.
> 
> Why are you putting up with all this?


Based on his tale of woe, it sounds like he'd be out on the street otherwise if he didn't put up with it. 



Jchris said:


> I feel like that was more due to our financial problems at the time we were homeless and lost a lot of our belongings.





Jchris said:


> So I live with my wife and her family (her parents and her older brother) we've been living together for almost 2 years now, The only ones who work are me and my wife, her brother is 25 years old and has no work experience, two felonies, no license, and her mother is the same. Her dad has some income, he helps pay bills and he takes us to and from work( my wife is too lazy to get her license and i lost mine due to reckless driving).


With a sob story like this OP, maybe it's time to start a GoFundMe to finance your inevitable divorce.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Jchris said:


> pretty much Ive been keeping all this **** to myself for too long so bring on the insults,maybe itll help me make the decision finally.


You SERIOUSLY need a bunch of strangers on an internet message board to *tell* you to leave a serial cheater and the meth lab you live in with her family?

Jesus.


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