# Should I divorce and move on?



## emcphx (Dec 7, 2011)

Married for 8 years, been trying to have kids from day 1 and still no luck. I'm 35, she's older by a few years. We have tried everything to have kids, spent all kinds of money and different options. Imagine the kind of money and options and multiply that by 10x...we've been married 8 years so. She's been trying to lose the same 15 lbs forever, doesn't want to do anything or talk about anything unless it's about having kids. We've tried moving on a few times but she keeps coming back to the same old broken record, let's throw some more money and time. Sure, trying to have kids is a great thing, but to throw 100% of your life into it for 8 years, it's getting tired. Like I say, she doesn't want to go anywhere unless it's to an infertillity clinic. Doesn't want to talk about anything unless it's about what option we are going to try next. The sex is mechanical at best, she has anxiety issues and very few hobbies. am thinking about moving on.


----------



## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

Adopt and move on with your lives. Why throw away a marriage over something like this? Did you stop loving her?


----------



## emcphx (Dec 7, 2011)

omega said:


> Adopt and move on with your lives. Why throw away a marriage over something like this? Did you stop loving her?


We talked about adoption along w/ every other reasonable and unreasonable solution. Not sure if I stopped loving her...I'd like to move on w/ life, she wants to stay in this mode of continuing to try to have kids.


----------



## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

Who is at fault for not being able to have kids. I can understand your wife. I suppose she is at fault and as long as there is hope wont admit it. 15lbs overweight is not the end of the earth and you shouldnt make an issue over it.


----------



## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

accept said:


> Who is at fault for not being able to have kids. I can understand your wife. I suppose she is at fault and as long as there is hope wont admit it. 15lbs overweight is not the end of the earth and you shouldnt make an issue over it.


At fault? If it's a medical issue, there is NO fault. No one is to blame for infertility unless they purposefully made themselves infertile. Casting blame only pushes people further apart, not exactly a good thing when it comes to marital issues. 

emcphx - so you talked about adoption but have you done it? Why just talk about it instead of doing it? If a couple is spending a bushel of money on infertility treatments, it seems rather obvious to adopt. 

But if your wife is obsessed, maybe counseling would help her let go of "the dream" of having children and redirect her energy into enjoying the family she has (i.e., the marriage).


----------



## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

A medical issue is a 'fault' but not to be blamed about. I think you understood what I meant in my post. I never used the word blame. What word would you use for a medical issue.


----------



## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

accept said:


> What word would you use for a medical issue.


"medical issue" works pretty well. As in "who has the medical issue?" So does "infertility." "Who has infertility?"


----------

