# What do I do?



## TealDaisy (Feb 17, 2020)

I really need some help here. My husband says he is suicidal, but won’t get help. He said he has a plan, and that everything is all my fault (so he’s expecting me to fix everything by myself). Has anyone been through this? What can I do?


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## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

If he has stated he's suicidal with a plan, dial 911 and have him placed on a psychiatric hold. He has proven to you that he is a danger to himself and not willing to help himself. This is an emergency situation.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

I agree that this should be treated as a real and urgent threat. Good luck and I'll pray for you. I think before anyone can try to help with the relationship aspects of this, it's important to ensure that he's not in personal danger.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

JustTheWife said:


> I agree that this should be treated as a real and urgent threat. Good luck and I'll pray for you. I think before anyone can try to help with the relationship aspects of this, it's important to ensure that he's not in personal danger.


Or a Danger to others, quite frankly. If he's really thinking of this sorry there's nothing you really can do. Why is he to this stage alittle more info is needed for the best advice to be given.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I've been through it a few times. The best place for him to be is in the hospital. If you cannot get your husband to go voluntarily then you need to force him to go. You can call 911 and tell them that your husband needs to be taken to the hospital because he is suicidal. Depending on where you live, there may be other options as well instead of calling the police. 

Having a plan is one of the big criteria they use for admitting someone. I would recommend recording your husband talking about having a plan, or saving the texts if he texted you, because chances are he will lie to the intake nurses and doctors.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Either he is manipulating you or he is suicidal. Call the police and have him taken to a mental health unit. If he is manipulating you, he'll knock it off. If he's actually suicidal, he'll get the help he needs.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

TealDaisy said:


> I really need some help here. My husband says he is suicidal, but won’t get help. He said he has a plan, and that everything is all my fault (so he’s expecting me to fix everything by myself). Has anyone been through this? What can I do?


911. He will be collected and under supervision for 3-4 days. BTW, what your H is doing is emotional manipulation.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Not the same thing at all, but I had a girlfriend that threatened suicide after we broke up and I wouldn't take her back. 

I hung up on her, and called 911. Ambulance showed up at her house. She sure was mad, but she didn't threaten suicide as a manipulation tactic with me ever again.

You are not his keeper. You are not his parent. It's not your job to keep him from killing himself. That's his job as an adult. If he's threatening and he's serious, he needs help. If he's threatening and he's just weaponizing your guilt to control you, he needs to know it's not going to work.

Either way means picking up the phone and making that call, and not acceding to his demands.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Threatening suicide and having plan certainly qualifies for 911. Does he have a psychiatrist or other mental health counselor that you can call?


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