# Why does he care what I think?



## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

so yesterday i was having a bad day at work and just wanted to get home. when i went to pick my daughter up from his house, i didn't say a word to him coz i was in a rush and wanted to go home. about a 1/2 hour after i got home he called and asked if i was mad at him. i told him the truth, that i had a bad day and all. 

i don't get why it bothered him thinking that i was mad at him. he doesn't love me so why should he care what i think?


----------



## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Guilt...he wants things to be amicable. They won't/can't be...you don't owe him an explanation...life is just what it is...


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

My ex ( I'm remarried now to someone far better)
used to mess with me MORE on days I had a bad day... it's like he wanted to suck all the life from me.


----------



## They Call Me Smooth (May 5, 2009)

preso said:


> My ex ( I'm remarried now to someone far better)
> used to mess with me MORE on days I had a bad day... it's like he wanted to suck all the life from me.


Are there really people that evil in life? I've been blamed for doing stuff like that but the truth is I never done a thing to hurt anyone I was with on purpose. I often wonder just how much of it is just misunderstanding.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

They Call Me Smooth said:


> Are there really people that evil in life? I've .


yes apparently so and some much worse.

It is especcially bad when that person is one you are calling your partner or spouse...
but yes... there are people that evil and some much worse.

You never heard : all is fair in love and war?
sometimes the worst enemy in your life is the one your living with.

why do you think when someone is murdered, the top suspect is the spouse?


----------



## They Call Me Smooth (May 5, 2009)

Sorry it's just hard for me to imagine wanting to hurt someone you love. Maybe that just it. Maybe they don't really love them.

I just know that all the things I have done that hurt someone I loved were mistakes. I don't think I have ever sat down and thought about ways to make someones live pure hell.


----------



## nightshade (Mar 4, 2009)

Love and hate can be a fine line.


----------



## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

don't know about guilt. according to him he has no reson to feel guilty coz everything's my fault. wanting things to be amicable, i could see. we keep things very civil for our duaghter's sake. if we didn't have her i would have already destroyed my ex for what he put me through.
i've come to the conclusion that, although academically smart, common sense wise he's become a complete moron and i'm the 1 who kept him in check.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

wonder said:


> i don't get why it bothered him thinking that i was mad at him. he doesn't love me so why should he care what i think?



Maybe he's just looking to kick up an arguement so he can say mean things to you.


----------



## Heidiw (Jul 2, 2009)

They Call Me Smooth said:


> Sorry it's just hard for me to imagine wanting to hurt someone you love. Maybe that just it. Maybe they don't really love them.
> 
> I just know that all the things I have done that hurt someone I loved were mistakes. I don't think I have ever sat down and thought about ways to make someones live pure hell.


Yep its hard to imagine but you know what...it happened to me two weeks to this day. My stbex tried to kill me & I get to face him in court for a no contact order. When I say tried he strangled me almost to death while telling me he was going to murder me & dump my body. Then got up & grabbed a gun...first time I ever looked down that end of a barrel.

As far as the spouse asking what was wrong. Don't get sucked in to it. Keep your distance & keep your personal life to yourself even if you need to vent then find someone or where else to vent. If you tell him what is going on then it becomes a whole other game for him possibly.


----------



## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

he now either likes rubbing it in my face on how well he's doing or wants me to be happy for him.
today he couldn't hold iit in to tell me about his new phone and the new tv he's getting. i don't want to hear it. it just makes me feel even more like sh!t.


----------



## wonder (Jun 30, 2008)

i never said i didn't care. i will always care about him. as far as destroying him, i didn't say i would do it, just that i'm capable of doing it. i told him many years ago it wasn't wise to piss me off and he's always tried to get me to that point to see what my reaction would be


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

wonder said:


> i never said i didn't care. i will always care about him. as far as destroying him, i didn't say i would do it, just that i'm capable of doing it. i told him many years ago it wasn't wise to piss me off and he's always tried to get me to that point to see what my reaction would be


Since you told him that, guess maybe he wants to see how you plan to destroy him.... I think from what you wrote he is challenging you to try.
In other words, let the games begin.... he is letting you know he wants you to try and he wants to show you he can destroy you. 
You've created a challenge for him and this is an example why its not a good idea to make threats and say things like that ( you can destroy someone) as he's wanting to challenege you now on it.


----------



## QuitaBee (Aug 11, 2009)

Maybe he called because he honestly was concerned about what you thought or if you were mad at him because He wants to keep things civil as well


----------

