# What goes around, Comes around.. Karma!



## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

Hi everybody, 

 Just a little update, I won't be triggering & constantly looking for the OW's van every where we go anymore, "Where her & my WH had sex", As it has now been totaled. Out of curiosity, If anyone was hurt, I done some snooping on FB. Didn't find anything out about the accident, But I did find out that in the last 6 months she's been in the hospital 3 times. Some type of surgery, Kidney stones & a seizure. She is also no longer a blonde & has gained 50 to 60 bls

I have never wished harm on anybody, But I can't say I feel bad for her. I took the high road & let karma be the *****. people really do reap what they sow... 

As for me & My H we are doing a little better every day. It's been a long & painful road, But we've come a long way. A lot of the thanks goes to my friends here that walked down that road with me & helped me get through the biggest pot holes.. 

Lots of Love to you all... 

D & L


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Devastated an lost said:


> *I have never wished harm on anybody*, But I can't say I feel bad for her. I took the high road & let karma be the *****. people really do reap what they sow...


I wish I could say the same D & L. 

Not even a little harm?:smile2:


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Devastated an lost said:


> Hi everybody,
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Sucks for her I guess, but hey...

Karma had your back.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Devastated an lost said:


> Hi everybody,
> 
> Just a little update, I won't be triggering & constantly looking for the OW's van every where we go anymore, "Where her & my WH had sex", As it has now been totaled. Out of curiosity, If anyone was hurt, I done some snooping on FB. Didn't find anything out about the accident, But I did find out that in the last 6 months she's been in the hospital 3 times. Some type of surgery, Kidney stones & a seizure. She is also no longer a blonde & has gained 50 to 60 bls
> 
> ...


I have zero sympathy for the POSOW - but don't forget it took TWO for that affair to happen - your H is as deserving of karma as she is...

Have you begun IC? I hope so..for your sake...


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

"I have never wished harm on anybody, But I can't say I feel bad for her. I took the high road & let karma be the *****. people really do reap what they sow... " When you are fully healed and realize how desperate and broken she was(is), you will feel bad for her just like you would for any human being. We forgive and move on. That's how it works. Its the getting there that's the trick..DUDE


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

badmemory said:


> I wish I could say the same D & L.
> 
> Not even a little harm?:smile2:




Mayby just a little >


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Devastated an lost said:


> Mayby just a little >


There you go D&L. Feels good doesn't it?


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Devastated an lost said:


> Mayby just a little >


She is not worth your time, "Not even a LIL!"...DUDE


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

boltam said:


> It's ok to be bitter given how you were treated and wish the very worst on her.
> 
> Much easier than to see her happy and successful that's for sure.


Matters not, she can NEVER be as happy/successful or badass as D n L and D n L knows this to be true? DUDE


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

I'm not saying I feel good about all that's happened to her, But I don't feel bad either. I didn't know this woman. She pushed her way in my life. Calling me every day acting like she was my new best friend. She was already sleeping with my H. That makes it hard, because I really thought I had a new friend. When really all She wanted was to try & get me to tell her about our personal & sex life..


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

boltam said:


> It's ok to be bitter given how you were treated and wish the very worst on her.
> 
> Much easier than to see her happy and successful that's for sure.


I don't wish the worst for her. I just don't care what happens to her at all.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Exactly, and how broken does she sound?!!! totally lost and broken. You may even find out some day, you are too badass for your formerly lost husband. I'm just sayin. Dude
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

Dude007 said:


> Matters not, she can NEVER be as happy/successful or badass as D n L and D n L knows this to be true? DUDE


Thanks Dude.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

She sounds like a loser. Friending you so she can try to gain some advantage in her affair with your H. She sounds like a real waste. 

She is not worth your time and attention, but I do appreciate how you describe your feelings on the topic.

Stay strong, leave her to her own her own issues... sounds like she has plenty.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

boltam said:


> I dunno, here you are making a thread about this catastrophe that befell her and yet saying you don't care either way.
> 
> I think maybe you do care a bit, and you're not the least bit saddened by her recent bad experiences. Maybe you're even feeling a little better about things in general, even if you have a sense of guilt over prospering over someone's bad fortune.
> 
> And that's ok.


You're probably right. This isn't the first time she's cheated on her H & I'm not the first one shes hurt. She is one of those fake people that you never saw it coming with. I think she's getting back some of the bad she hands out. I just can't feel bad for someone who gets her kicks on making someone else feel bad. Maybe going through all this will make her a better person. I really hope it does.


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## tpdallas (Aug 28, 2015)

I don't believe in karma. Well not in the western sense that is is applied.

You do have to pay for your actions, but what makes you so special that people need to pay for the wrong they have done to you specifically? Not you but in general. 

Was there a karmic reason your spouse cheated on you and put you through hell?

Karma is an ugly way of hoping bad things happen to people we don't like.

Just be positive and let that come your way.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Devastated

Well now, seems to me that you have become an even better person then before. Here you are stronger, seem to be doing well, yet when mentioned you feel for her. Deep down I know you wish no ill regard for the OW, but you can't control what happens to her either. If this were the OM in my situation, I admit I'd be tickled pink. And yes, my wife deserves what comes her way too. 

The difference is I will stand united with my wife. I will help her through her karma bus. I will apply band aids to her tire marks, but the OM, nope he can do his own tending to his wounds. I can't control what happens to my wife or OM, but I can decide who and why I may support. The same choice you have devastated. As said earlier in the thread, soon you will feel sad for the OW, she is broken as is your husband. Both deserve what comes their way, but you decide who you are helping. 

Your husband may have some karma around the corner. Then again he may not, but I assure you in time you will feel sadness for the OW. That's ok, it's life, and if karma keeps hitting the OW you may even feel she's had enough. I know for my OM if karma hits him for ten straight years I may say he's paid his dues, I might not either. I'm not in a place to forgive his trespasses quite yet, and that's ok too. Just don't obsess over the OW/OM getting their karma. 

Posting this thread is cathartic for you, I can see that by your posts. I can also see how this would have had you on your feet and cheering earlier on, but as a person you have grown so very much. No longer do you see her as despicable and a monster, you are now seeing a broken human being. A human being that provokes sadness instead of anger. Your journey has been a long road, yet you persevered when you didn't think you could go on. Your journey is not close to ending and you have a long road yet to travel.

I wish you the best my friend, I hope you find peace and happiness.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

tpdallas said:


> I don't believe in karma. Well not in the western sense that is is applied.
> 
> You do have to pay for your actions, but what makes you so special that people need to pay for the wrong they have done to you specifically? Not you but in general.
> 
> ...


 I would like to stress, I did not wish for bad things to happen to anybody. I will admit if I had ran across her in the beginning It would've been hard not to just knock the crap out of her, But it's been over a year & I haven't really thought about her well being one way or the other. My H got to see my anger & what he did to me first hand & he has had some bad karma as well. 

No mater what you call it paying for what you do, Being brought down to size or the good lord above. People that go around destroying other people to make themselves feel important, They will eventually have to answer for what they do. not what they did to me or anybody else specifically, But for doing wrong in general.

Here's the kicker, I did like her, She came into my life & made friends with me & I really thought of her as a friend. So it's more hurt than dislike & whether you believe this or not I do feel sad for her, But at the same time I think she got what was coming to her. Just as if I were destroying lives for the fun of it, I would expect to have to pay at some point for my wrong doings.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

drifting on said:


> Devastated
> 
> Well now, seems to me that you have become an even better person then before. Here you are stronger, seem to be doing well, yet when mentioned you feel for her. Deep down I know you wish no ill regard for the OW, but you can't control what happens to her either. If this were the OM in my situation, I admit I'd be tickled pink. And yes, my wife deserves what comes her way too.
> 
> ...


 @drifting on

You are right. I do see her as broken now & I have felt bad for her a time or two since I found out all that's happened to her. I'm only human. I hope she learns from this, That because you are broken the way to fix yourself isn't to break somebody else. That won't fix you in the end you just have three broken people, My H is also a broken man now. He has seen the karma as well.

Thanks for understanding. I wasn't boasting about what's happened to her. I just wanted to tell somebody about it. If that makes since. It's another chapter in my ongoing story of what's happening with the three of us that were involved in this mess.


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

Devastated an lost said:


> @drifting on
> 
> You are right. I do see her as broken now & I have felt bad for her a time or two since I found out all that's happened to her. I'm only human. I hope she learns from this, That because you are broken the way to fix yourself isn't to break somebody else. That won't fix you in the end you just have three broken people, My H is also a broken man now. He has seen the karma as well.
> 
> Thanks for understanding. I wasn't boasting about what's happened to her. I just wanted to tell somebody about it. If that makes since. It's another chapter in my ongoing story of what's happening with the three of us that were involved in this mess.




I understand completely, I know I would start a thread about my wife's OM and karma. I don't wish anything bad but whatever happens happens. I can't control what happens to OM. What I meant in my post is how much better you have gotten and how karma is kicking your OW around.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

drifting on said:


> I understand completely, I know I would start a thread about my wife's OM and karma. I don't wish anything bad but whatever happens happens. I can't control what happens to OM. What I meant in my post is how much better you have gotten and how karma is kicking your OW around.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I knew what you meant :wink2: I was just making it clear to everybody I didn't mean for this to seem like I was happy & boasting about it, But I'm not real upset either...


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

And I think this thread might be a good example of the positives that come to the BS. I believe D n L is probably a much more well rounded person than before the betrayal. Its called personal growth. Or as the cliche goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger(wiser)...DUDE


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

tpdallas said:


> I don't believe in karma. Well not in the western sense that is is applied.
> 
> You do have to pay for your actions, but what makes you so special that people need to pay for the wrong they have done to you specifically? Not you but in general.
> 
> ...


Intentionality of actions is important. You don't have to believe in karma at all. It just is. 

Karma is just your objective actions, and the intent behind them. If you intend harm, and cause harm, then there is more harm in the world, and you are more likely to eventually be harmed by it.

Think about it like this: if I'm a crappy driver, and cut people off because I'm angry, more people are likely to get road rage and start cutting everyone off. Eventually I'm likely to get cut off by one of those people that I either cut off, or was cut off by one of the people I cut off.

Society is what it is. Put more **** in the world, and you're likely to start eating **** sandwiches.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Devastated an lost said:


> I knew what you meant :wink2: I was just making it clear to everybody I didn't mean for this to seem like I was happy & boasting about it, But I'm not real upset either...


D and L: Anything that is good for you is good by me. I know we see the world alike so this is what I see for that gal.

Imagine you're driving old US Hwy 80 going from Montgomery all the way to Jackson, MS. (wave when you pass Forest, MS) You'd go thru probably 40 towns that all look pretty similar. Just as you pass thru the old downtown area, you cross the RR tracks, get about a mile out of town and there's a beer joint. Big gravel parking lot. In the 70s it had tons of broken glass but now its mostly aluminum cans and empty Skoal cans. Sheet metal roof, no windows, and a big steel door. There used to be a sign, but its gone. People call it BJ's or JR's, Joe Bob's, whatever. A honky-tonk.

On Saturday night they always have a band. The Charlie Nunley Band, or The Rebel Yell Band. They're not bad, but their bass player is in jail, so they let Charlie's girlfriend's kid play bass. He's drunk and thinks he's John Paul Jones or John Entwistle and is plucking the bass like a freshly butchered duck. They used to play Free Bird, but sucked so bad they had to drop it and play Achy-Breaky Heart instead.

There's 4-5 guys playing shuffleboard that work at the quarry with their girls that run the salon in the old Ben Franklin store. One of the girls has her mom tagging along, trying to fit in. She's got streaked hair that swoops like a mophead over one eye. Jeans that should not be made in her size. Not a muffin top, but more like a bundt-cake top. She's also got a bottle of Evan and Williams (because Jack Daniels is too expensive, and they changed their formula so eff them anyway) in her purse.

Around midnight momma is getting sleepy, but wants to keep partying so she starts doing deplorable things with her tube top and the plucky bass player. People start laughing. Bundt-top's daughter demands her shuffleboarding quarryman defend her momma's honor. In a panic, shuffleboarder senses his scoring chances slipping away, but doesn't want to miss Achy-Breaky Heart....

Is anyone still interested? Anyway, Bundt-top is your OW. We both know how this plays out.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

@Forest,

I Love it! I think you may have missed your calling. You could've been a Bestselling Author. This would've been a real page turner. I was glued to the screen. I don't know how far down south you live, But I'm pretty sure I know where the old Ben Franklin store use to be.  Thanks for lightning the mood with your southern style humor . I needed it. I was having second thoughts about putting this thread on here.

D & L


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

Jeez. It takes a special kind of screwed up to seek out and befriend the betrayed wife of the man you are having an affair with. She's got some deep, dark demons, you can be sure of that. Poor woman.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

dignityhonorpride said:


> Jeez. It takes a special kind of screwed up to seek out and befriend the betrayed wife of the man you are having an affair with. She's got some deep, dark demons, you can be sure of that. Poor woman.


 That's what I've been trying to say. Yes my H cheated on me, But this woman came to us, She started calling him at work. Then when she had him on the hook she zoomed in on me.

My H told me when he broke it off with her, He was afraid for me. He said he tried to get her to stop calling me & coming around & she would tell him she couldn't do that, We were friends now & she felt a connection with me. He said they argued about it all the time.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Devastated an lost said:


> That's what I've been trying to say. Yes my H cheated on me, But this woman came to us, She started calling him at work. Then when she had him on the hook she zoomed in on me.
> 
> My H told me when he broke it off with her, He was afraid for me. He said he tried to get her to stop calling me & coming around & she would tell him she couldn't do that, We were friends now & she felt a connection with me. He said they argued about it all the time.


BONKERS and Boiling Rabbits....DUDE


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## lovelyblue (Oct 25, 2013)

DL

Some people get what coming to them...(Karma) I believe in it and this is why I always try to be good to people.

For example while in HS this chick bullied me and other people around her for no reason for years ans I ignored her.The last time I saw she was fat a single mom of two and no college education.

Me I got my college degree had a sweet BF and no kids yet..lol.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

lovelyblue said:


> DL
> 
> Some people get what coming to them...(Karma) I believe in it and this is why I always try to be good to people.
> 
> ...


Good example. I've always felt, What you give is what you get back. I talked to the OW on d-day & she said if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, We could still be friends & I'll be here for you. I told her I will forgive you in time, But I don't want you to ever contact me or my H again. I can't be your friend anymore. I wasn't mean about it, But I made it very clear.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

tpdallas said:


> I don't believe in karma. Well not in the western sense that is is applied.
> 
> You do have to pay for your actions, but what makes you so special that people need to pay for the wrong they have done to you specifically? Not you but in general.
> 
> ...


Or hoping that bad things happen to bad people? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

lovelyblue said:


> DL
> 
> Some people get what coming to them...(Karma) I believe in it and this is why I always try to be good to people.


Actually, rather than fearing the Karma bus, you are good to people because if you are not, you will most likely suffer from severe depression(self hate). The reason for this is ultimately if you are an ass and wrong people repeatedly in life, you will only have you to blame. The only folks who circumvent this are sociopaths and those who take meds to temper the depressive feelings. DUDE


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

Dude007 said:


> Actually, rather than fearing the Karma bus, you are good to people because if you are not, you will most likely suffer from severe depression(self hate). The reason for this is ultimately if you are an ass and wrong people repeatedly in life, you will only have you to blame. The only folks who circumvent this are sociopaths and those who take meds to temper the depressive feelings. DUDE


 I agree, I've never thought about it like that, But when I know I've hurt somebody's feelings, I can't sleep at night until I make it right.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Yep, the only things that stays with me long term are bad things I'VE DONE. If someone has done something to me, I can kick them out of my life and compartmentalize it. Poof! Gone! DUDE


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

See, the thing about the western interpretation of karma is that it's really victim-blamey. If you really believe in this imagination of karma, that what you get is always what you give, what goes around comes around, etc., then what does that say about BSes in general? What about homeless kids or orphans? Domestic abuse victims? The message is ultimately harmful. 

As I said earlier I do think this OW is a sad, broken person. But personally I can't swallow the westernized version of karma as the reason for bad things happening to her.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

dignityhonorpride said:


> See, the thing about the western interpretation of karma is that it's really victim-blamey. If you really believe in this imagination of karma, that what you get is always what you give, what goes around comes around, etc., then what does that say about BSes in general? What about homeless kids or orphans? Domestic abuse victims? The message is ultimately harmful.
> 
> As I said earlier I do think this OW is a sad, broken person. But personally I can't swallow the westernized version of karma as the reason for bad things happening to her.


And I can't swallow BS only accepting the negatives and claiming there are zero positives. Again, I've seen BS couch potatoes turn into marathon runners. I've seen BS walk away with huge settlements. I've seen some that were wayward themselves and never got caught so they moved on to AP with a big settlement and a remorseful ex-spouse. There are actually BS who yell "BONUS" after finding out. Its rarely if ever mentioned on here. DUDE


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

I didn't realize this thread was going to be so controversial. It was a simple update. No need to bring homeless kids & such into it.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

In Hinduism and Buddism, the concept of Karma has to do with what you sow you shall reap. So, if you are reaping good things and your life is great, that means you are receiving the good karma from past actions/lives. And vice-versa. So, good or bad it's all karma.

We are always creating Karma, from everyday interactions and just living. It's something we can never get rid of. Even in inaction you are creating Karma. Think of it as a merit system. 

DanL, I have read your story and I can say you have come a long way. We are all human, so when ****ty things happen to those who cause us pain, it's only natural to feel justified.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Id send her some dead flowers fertilized with some fresh dog doo.

When opportunity knocks you have to take it.


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