# No kissing or touching..



## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Ladies, My wife does not want to kiss (other than a peck) or touch me intimately.. 
What do you think she is telling me?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

discouraged1 said:


> Ladies, My wife does not want to kiss (other than a peck) or touch me intimately..
> What do you think she is telling me?


I`m not a lady but that would tell me it`s time to file for a divorce.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

discouraged1 said:


> Ladies, My wife does not want to kiss (other than a peck) or touch me intimately..
> What do you think she is telling me?


Is this a new behavior for her or has she always acted this way?


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

I do not know. What does SHE say about it?


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Mrs. T said:


> Is this a new behavior for her or has she always acted this way?


Been going on for a few years... says I get saliva on her face. I think she is just being prude or maybe she doesn't want me anymore.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

discouraged1 said:


> Been going on for a few years... says I get saliva on her face. I think she is just being prude or maybe she doesn't want me anymore.


Honestly,

I think many wives just want the benefit of marriage for the least work possible in satisfying the relationship after a long term. Only thing us husbands have in our arsenal is to leave, Improve yourself and at the same time be enough of a a thorn in their side enough to make them decide to change (My tactic), or accept being miserable.

Be the thorn make her aware over and over of how she is not satisfying your needs. Continue to satisfy hers but take away the extra loving gestures Sooner or later she'll come around just to avoid the constant reminders of her not meeting your needs in the marriage. Never be afraid to state CLEARLY your needs. Flip side YOU have to constantly meet her needs daily so as to maintain the high road. But cut out all extra loving behaviors... no I love you's, no gifts, no cards, no flowers...until you see change in her then make sure to point out how that change made you feel better. Positive reinforcement... start with the basics then add in the extras as you see change in her. Don't give her everything while she gives you nothing. That is not how life works.

Worst thing you can do is allow her to settle into a comfortable marriage when SHE is behaving badly as a spouse. Keep the pressure up. My wife just lost out on a nice XMAS presents (I told her I didn't want to exchange gifts with HER)...yet she still got me some. Too bad for her there have to be some repercussions from perpetuating sexless. Also I'm not going to parties with her that are mainly her friends... she can explain (or lie) why I'm not there to all he other married couples. Make them just off balance enough that eventually they see the benefit of doing their part. Don't reward bad behavior.

Its mid life BS. Give your wife back what she gives you. When she comes around do the same.

Withholding sex/intimacy from your spouse is about the worst thing they can do. So act as if that is a BIG issue. People won't change unless they feel they have to change.

Fight fire with fire..good luck.

While doing it BE UPBEAT and BE HAPPY...always around her. Have a plan you'll feel better.

Keep up the non-sexual touch too.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

discouraged1 said:


> Been going on for a few years... says I get saliva on her face. I think she is just being prude or maybe she doesn't want me anymore.


I can't speak for your wife but when I am having intimate moments with my husband there isn't any part of him that I don't want to touch and kiss. If she doesn't want to do either my guess is that she is either not attracted to you any longer or her sex drive is very low which could be caused by many things...hormones, stress, self esteem issues to name a few. It sounds like you need to sit down with her and have a heart to heart talk to find out the cause of her avoidance of intimacy.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How does touching you intimately get saliva on her face? And do you actually have a sex life? I think there's a lot more wrong than first described.

Personally, if you really want to fix things, I'd sit her down and have a serious discussion. That things are not acceptable the way they are, and you want to work them out. That you're willing to hear things that might be painful, like you're a bad kisser, or you have bad breath, or whatever, but things have to come out. "I don't know" and "nothing's wrong" are NOT acceptable answers.

Do you have kids? How long have you been together? Are you willing to leave if things aren't resolved?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

She's telling you that she has no respect or regard for you; that she is a consumer of marital benefits but she's otherwise not a participant in the union. She's begging to be kicked to the curb.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Your wife is telling you that she is not emotionally or physically connected to you. You need to find a way to bring it back. I'm sure she loves you very much. 

Other reasons could be maybe she is embarrassed about her breath. Regular cleanings, everyday flossing and mouthwash works very well! She's not touching you because her needs are somehow not met and she needs them to be in order to be connected with you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brendan (Jun 1, 2011)

she may have depression or is scared of letting you get what u want.


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## RDJ (Jun 8, 2011)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> Your wife is telling you that she is not emotionally or physically connected to you.


:iagree: :iagree:

I would guess that what she is telling you is that, over years, you have been too controling,or too insecure. You have neglected to fulfill your wifes emotional needs, in a way that she simply no longer feels sexual/affectionate with you.

Can you get it back? Maybe, you will have to learn what it takes to meet her needs and inspire a mutually happy, passionate environment. 

How she responds to this will be determined by your ability to change and re-inspire her. Also her level of resentment and ability to let go of the past.


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

PBear said:


> How does touching you intimately get saliva on her face? And do you actually have a sex life? I think there's a lot more wrong than first described.
> 
> Personally, if you really want to fix things, I'd sit her down and have a serious discussion. That things are not acceptable the way they are, and you want to work them out. That you're willing to hear things that might be painful, like you're a bad kisser, or you have bad breath, or whatever, but things have to come out. "I don't know" and "nothing's wrong" are NOT acceptable answers.
> 
> ...


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

discouraged1 said:


> Ladies, My wife does not want to kiss (other than a peck) or touch me intimately..
> What do you think she is telling me?


You stink.

Go brush your teeth.

Take a shower and wash your "intimate" parts.

You're hairy; please shave.

I'm gay.

You're gay.

I'm having an affair.

I think you're having an affair.

All of the above.

None of the above.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> Been going on for a few years... says I get saliva on her face.


 I hope you don't slobber all over her face.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> I hope you don't slobber all over her face.


:lol: Maybe he was a dog in a previous life? :scratchhead:


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Kinda goes with the last post-that old George Thorogood song "Move It On Over"

"...move over little dog, a big old dog is movin' in."

In other words-don't rule out the possibility of another man.


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## ryansdad (Dec 3, 2011)

southern wife said:


> You stink.
> 
> Go brush your teeth.
> 
> ...


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