# anxiety? jealousy?



## primebeatz (Dec 23, 2011)

I had a female friend I knew for over 7 years and never was our relationship anything other than Platonic. my wife was uneasy about it apparently and said it was disrespectful for me to be communicating with my friend, so I ceased communication with her out of respect. My wife had been a little too friendly for my tastes with a coworker and he is the type with no respect for his own marriage... cheats on his wife and constantly flirts with other women. I told my wife I wasn't comfortable with her being friendly with him yet it still continues. Should I be upset that she shows no respect for my wishes to cease communication with somebody who wants to be more than friends with her? I want the same respect I gave her. I stopped talking to my friend no questions asked.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Looks like you met her halfway yet she instead decides to go off and take advantage of you. You have the right to be upset, and if this continues, meh personally I would meet up with your platonic friend again.

Funny though, because my wife and I started as best friends to my ex's frustration, and we ended up married.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You absolutely have the right to call her on her double standard.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## primebeatz (Dec 23, 2011)

She will surely get very irate and claim that the circumstances are "different". I would think that one would be able to see that they are doing that without me having to "throw it in her face"...which is exactly what she will say that I am doing. And she will say I am being insecure and jealous.


----------



## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

Be upset. Call her out on her double standard. Demand that she stop talking to her "friend" and mean it. Be prepared to walk away if she won't go to counseling with you about it. My WH wouldn't stop communicating with a friend who had a crush on him and a platonic but intimate emotional affair developed between them which pushed me out; he constantly called me jealous and insecure and would cite the platonic nature of his interactions with her as proof of my "baseless" jealousy, though he was enabling and encouraging her attentions. I later found out that he was using this "friend" to mask another affair he was really having with someone else. If I had put my foot down about it when it first became an issue, I don't think we'd be separated and in limbo now. This is an important battle and the outcome determines whether or not she is going to respect you or treat you like a doormat. If she has the right to demand that you stop talking to an inappropriate friend, then you have the right to demand the same. You guys have got to learn how to communicate about this issue or it will come back again and again.


----------



## primebeatz (Dec 23, 2011)

Feeling very stressed about how to go about bringing it up again. She doesn't respond well to criticism and says she feels like I am attacking her. She is also pregnant now, which might further stimulate an adverse reaction
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## primebeatz (Dec 23, 2011)

spoke with a gay mutual friend about it and he said he would try to help.... now feeling more angered about it because she never told me that they were texting (which HE did tell me he would do) ... but SHE was texting him and didn't bother to give me the courtesy of telling me.... wondering if she would be OK if she just found out ( and I didn't tell her beforehand) tha:t I was texting a mutual "lesbian " friend... based off of the responses here I'm wondering if this is also considered disrespectful and to what lengths I should be concerned now... does she want to control me out of guilt for what she is in fact doing? is she communicating with people behind my back under the false pretenses of friendship?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## primebeatz (Dec 23, 2011)

by the way...she got upset in the past when I attempted to get relationship advice from a mutual female friend.. stating if I had problems I should talk them out with HER and not our mutual female friend
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## primebeatz (Dec 23, 2011)

any advice?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

