# Divorce without lawyers



## heartsickpuppy (Nov 6, 2012)

Looking for advice about divorce without lawyers. Married 2 weeks short of 13 years. Very little debt. 2 kids. Is this a way to keep it amicable?

Likely she will be moving out of state to live with OM and I will stay in house with kids and dogs.

:scratchhead:


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## Hermes (Oct 8, 2012)

I would not. You have two kids an a house. You need I protect yourself. At least get an atty to assist on the settlement agreement.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I want the kids! (Apr 17, 2012)

LAWYER UP NOW. 
My wife has lied and cheated every chance she had. I was mr nice guy too long and now am paying for it. My "simple" split is going to cost me half my stuff plus a lawyer fee of at least 6K!

Start snooping and document everything. As soon as OM starts telling her to get everything she can you will be paying out the rear.
They will need that money to go on vacation and screw etc. Don't be surprised.

Sad fighting against the one you love but my wife just tossed out 14 years of our life. We have 2 kids and she had a son before. no dog though.

Good luck,


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

If she is moving out of state I highly suggest a lawyer.


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## Can't believe it's over (Oct 6, 2012)

I would get a lawyer. Just because you use one doesn't mean it's not being amicable. For my first divorce I used a lawyer to file, my xh just went to the lawyers office, read the papers and signed right then and there. It's better to be safe.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I would consult with an atty during the process. Have all paperwork reviewed before signing it. Mediation can work if you BOTH make an effort. Don't get steamrolled trying to be too fair. If she gets unreasonable you can end mediation and loose the lawyers. 

Do you believe she will be reasonable or are you hoping she will?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

exh and i used only one lawyer, mine, he just signed the papers.. we agreed on everthing ahead of time, but the lawyer brought up a few good points. i got everything- house, cars, kid, pets, he got his ow... cost around 3k but the peace of mind was worth it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsickpuppy (Nov 6, 2012)

Update. She has decided against leaving state for OM. She is moving into her own place on 12/3, our anniversary, lucky #13. 50/50 time with kids. We tentatively divided up household items. I volunteered to help her pay for her cell phone and insurance for the time being. I make about a third more than her, and told her I expected to pay child support. She was flabbergasted and said absolutely not.

I want to stay amicable, I still love her and always will. I want to be the perfect divorced couple-yes I am crazy. 

So it sounds like 1 lawyer can be a smart option....


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## Serenity_Prayer (Oct 31, 2012)

STBX and I have our first mediation session next week. One lawyer who works for both of you, and you're both in control of how things are divided. Divorce can be relatively simple if you both play nice, which it sounds like you have been if you've worked out that many details. Estimated cost for mediation in our case is about $1,500.


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Heartsick,
Why are you giving custody of your child to a cheating ex wife? Your child is better with you, the parent who can make good decisions. There are no "perfect divorced couples" Divorce, by its very nature, is adversarial. No one wins and no one is happy. You may be happy now but how are you going to feel when you go to pick up your child and OM answers the door?


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## caladan (Nov 2, 2012)

Married in VA said:


> Heartsick,
> Why are you giving custody of your child to a cheating ex wife? Your child is better with you, the parent who can make good decisions. There are no "perfect divorced couples" Divorce, by its very nature, is adversarial. No one wins and no one is happy. You may be happy now but how are you going to feel when you go to pick up your child and OM answers the door?


I disagree. There's no evidence that a lousy spouse must also be a lousy parent.

The children benefit from having both parents in the house. Heartsick, if you can pull this off, I totally support you on this move.


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