# I'm very scared!!



## sneakypeaky (Oct 20, 2014)

I admit that I am very frightened. I have been out of full time work for over 5 years. And the jobs I had did not last long. I am in my 50s which makes everything harder.

Although my w says it does not bother her since I am a shd, I know it does. And we are having issues now and it's making things worse. Things started to get better but it's now worse because of my stupidity! I keep bringing up her past mistake. 

I started looking for a new job today. But all I get is rejection, after rejection; just like all the years before. And the people that do contact me are nothing more than scamers.

I really hope to turn this around. I am college educated and have skills. But it looks like I have to start over again. My life feels like a record that has a scratch in it and just keeps repeating itself.

Is there hope for me?


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Yes, and it comes in persistence.

Everytime you scrape those knees, figure out why, learn from it, dust yourself off and try again.

It takes 10,000 hours to master any skill... right now you have to get your foot in the door and keep it in the door so that you get the opportunity to build that 10,000 hours (aka four years give or take).

Let the rejection roll, off... move on to the next... never stop.

Its called tenacity.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

what is your degree? have you worked in that field for many years in the past?


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## sneakypeaky (Oct 20, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Yes, and it comes in persistence.
> 
> Everytime you scrape those knees, figure out why, learn from it, dust yourself off and try again.
> 
> ...


I agree. But I have tried for so long. I know I have to keep trying. I must be doing some things very wrong. I must be carrying a bad vibe.


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## sneakypeaky (Oct 20, 2014)

SurpriseMyself said:


> what is your degree? have you worked in that field for many years in the past?


I have a BA degree in a liberal arts area. I also have a lot of experience. But I am kind of burned out from what I did.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

sneakypeaky said:


> I agree. But I have tried for so long. I know I have to keep trying. I must be doing some things very wrong. I must be carrying a bad vibe.


Ask for feedback Hon... it's the only way you will know 100% what you need to work on. And it's ok... we all have something to work on. Feedback is your golden ticket to be proactive about it.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

sneakypeaky said:


> *I started looking for a new job today. But all I get is rejection, after rejection; just like all the years before. *And the people that do contact me are nothing more than scamers.


It's just been 1 day, you don't know you've been rejected. It takes time for them to go through your resume, give it to the proper people and call you back. Give it time and apply for everything.


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## sneakypeaky (Oct 20, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Ask for feedback Hon... it's the only way you will know 100% what you need to work on. And it's ok... we all have something to work on. Feedback is your golden ticket to be proactive about it.


Thank you. The few times I did get any feedback after I asked for it, was that I did not have an aggressive enough personality. But that was years ago.

I would not be surprised if I got bad references along the line. I pray that's not the case. But I am not naive. I have no choice but to keep fighting and pressing on.


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## sneakypeaky (Oct 20, 2014)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> It's just been 1 day, you don't know you've been rejected. It takes time for them to go through your resume, give it to the proper people and call you back. Give it time and apply for everything.


True. But I got a rejection today.  But you're right.


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

I agree with Blossom, sneaky. You have to keep at it and not give up until you find something. I was a SAHM for 7 years, and it was not easy to re-enter the workforce as my skills were rusty.

Keep filling out those applications, and let nothing discourage you. I took temporary work that was beneath my education level just to get back in the game. It gave me contacts and references that led to a permanent job.

Network with everyone you know. Create a LinkedIn profile. Volunteer to brush up on skills and meet contacts. Never, never give up. Don't defeat yourself with self-talk that you are too old or that no one will want to hire you. There is something out there for you.


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## sneakypeaky (Oct 20, 2014)

skype said:


> I agree with Blossom, sneaky. You have to keep at it and not give up until you find something. I was a SAHM for 7 years, and it was not easy to re-enter the workforce as my skills were rusty.
> 
> Keep filling out those applications, and let nothing discourage you. I took temporary work that was beneath my education level just to get back in the game. It gave me contacts and references that led to a permanent job.
> 
> Network with everyone you know. Create a LinkedIn profile. Volunteer to brush up on skills and meet contacts. Never, never give up. Don't defeat yourself with self-talk that you are too old or that no one will want to hire you. There is something out there for you.


Thank you Skype. It's always encouraging to me when I hear of stay at home mom's and dads who go back into the work force and make successes of themselves once again.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

sneakypeaky said:


> Thank you Skype. It's always encouraging to me when I hear of stay at home mom's and dads who go back into the work force and make successes of themselves once again.


Managing a home takes many skills


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## sneakypeaky (Oct 20, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> Managing a home takes many skills


That's a good point. I have heard that I should put those skills on my resume. But I wouldn't know how.:scratchhead:


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

sneakypeaky said:


> I admit that I am very frightened. I have been out of full time work for over 5 years. And the jobs I had did not last long. I am in my 50s which makes everything harder.
> 
> Although my w says it does not bother her since I am a shd, I know it does. And we are having issues now and it's making things worse. Things started to get better but it's now worse because of my stupidity! I keep bringing up her past mistake.
> 
> ...


sneaky:

dare I ask, what was your wife's "mistake"??

very few individuals can be out of work and not be scared. It is simply an intimidating thing to almost anyone's self-esteem. BTW admitting you're scared means you are honest with yourself, not weak.
besides your wife, do you have friends, family, ministers, former colleagues..anyone else that you can talk to? you need to look for work, sure, but you also need emotional support that your wife is apparently unable to provide to you. and you really do need that, even more so than employment counseling IMO. take that just as seriously as looking for work.


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## sneakypeaky (Oct 20, 2014)

nuclearnightmare said:


> sneaky:
> 
> dare I ask, what was your wife's "mistake"??
> 
> ...


Thanks. I was seeking help through clergy. But I stopped. I did not see a change and I am a sinner who feels I am not worthy right now. But that's not true. I am going to start praying and reading scripture again. 

I really don't have many friends anymore.

My wife is really a good person. I don't want to make her look bad. It's really me who is the wrong one. Lazy, overspending, self indulgent, angry...


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

if you carry that attitude into an interview, its no wonder you keep getting rejected. 

you need to realize something... and take this to heart:
its OK for you to be human. your mistakes do not define you. if you were expected to be perfect, God would have made you perfect. think about it, why are you here? i mean, on earth? 

why did God put you here? was it to live a perfect life? i think not. i mean, he sent his son to die for you. that should say something. 

it means that its OK to be human. of course we will make mistakes. making mistakes was never unacceptable to Him. we were put here to learn what love is, and to love. thats what God has been trying to teach us for eons. 

you should rejoice in the knowledge that He does not expect you to be perfect, and loves you even though you arent. so learn to love yourself like God does, forgive yourself when you make mistakes. be proud of yourself when you get it right. 

be proud of who you are. your attitude now is that you are not good enough. but, you were never expected to be "good enough". 
you were expected to love. others and yourself. 

so become confident in yourself and show that confidence in your next interview.


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

As'laDain said:


> if you carry that attitude into an interview, its no wonder you keep getting rejected.
> 
> you need to realize something... and take this to heart:
> its OK for you to be human. your mistakes do not define you. if you were expected to be perfect, God would have made you perfect. think about it, why are you here? i mean, on earth?
> ...


Preach it brother...


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Books:

Victory Over the Darkness
Morning and Evening by Allistair Begg and Spurgeon
What is So Amazing About Grace- Yancy
God's Pursuit of Man- Tozer
Because He Loves Me - Fitzpatrick


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