# help me PLEASE!!!



## devastated (Jul 8, 2007)

Hi everyone. I know most of the threads here are about marriage and I believe you ppl would have seen more so I need your help.

I have been with my bf for close to 3 years now. Of course in the beginning it was the honeymoon period and it was great. But things have not been going too well recently. He has a problem since day 1 when I knew him. He is very very hot tempered. He can go mad when he is angry. He shouts, screams, talks cheaply of me even calling me prostitute, and even beats me. He even did this to his ex gf so the problem for all this can’t possibly be me all the time. Yes I have made him angry too. He once even hit my head with a cup that I required stitches in the hospital. On my birthday last year, we had a mini argument on the phone and he escalated it by asking me asking me to go and die. Of course I was upset. I did not go to meet him and instead went to the top of the block contemplating suicide. I even off my phone- for the first time in my life. He finally got through me and even then he was still shouting at me and all that. And finally he told me sorry and asked me to go to his house. He sound sincere. I believed him. But once I reached there, he started beating me up with a belt and punched, strangled and slapped me leaving me with a black eye. He did it because he was not happy that I off my phone. After that he just told me sorry and even had the cheek to have sex with me after that. I agreed cause I knew there was no way I could escape. This is just one of the MANY incidents where I have been beaten up by him. My mum found out when I came back with all those scars and she forbid me from being with him. I was so stupid to have still be with him secretly. He as always promised me that he would not beat me up again but did it again a few weeks back. He burnt me with a cigarette-twice. Now we always have arguments. I hate him so much when I argue with him. I hate him to the core. I even curse him. Cause he would be such a jerk. Till today I regret knowing him.

Now I’m thinking of leaving him as I cannot tolerate all this anymore. I’m sick of it. I’ve lost so many friends because of him and got a bad name from so many people because of him. My family knows that I’m with him now but they hate him to the core. No one even respects him. I want to be peaceful now. But I’m afraid that I might be making a wrong choice if I leave him. Cause other than the occasions when he is angry, he is a gem. He is so sweet and loving to me. Our sex life has been great. He has never lost interest in me all this while. He is more interested in it then I am. One reason is that I gave my virginity to him which I regret a lot now. He told me that if I was not a virgin, he would have just used me. But he would surprise me all of a sudden, even though all those has been less now, and he pampers me, not bothering about the way I look, taking me very seriously and always talking about wanting to marry me, and he is a filial son and also he is very true to me. But on one occasion I found out myself that he was having a hi-5 account online and mentioned that he was single there and looking for girls. Even his nick was Casanova. Another reason I cant bear to leave him is because I love his family. They are just great people. So sweet and humble and nice. I can’t believe that he was born there! They are just the opposite of him and his parents are so sweet. I just do not want to regret breaking up with him. I’m afraid I can’t find another guy as sweet as him. And most importantly, so true to me. I’m afraid. What should I do? I’m sure many people out there have made the same experience and I really would like to know your opinion. Will I regret leaving him? Can a person like him ever change?? Or is it that im expecting too much from a person? Please help me. Are all guys like this? I even saw an astrologer before and they told me that I can never be happy with him. 2 astrologers said that. Can I believe all that? Someone please help me or at least talk to me cause I cant say this to anyone as I’ve practically lost so many of my friends cause of him. HELP NEEDED!!!


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## Chris H. (Jan 27, 2007)

devastated,

It really sounds like you are being emotionally and physically abused. Perpetators of abuse rarely change. You should call 911 any time you are physically assaulted, no matter who does it to you.

There are a lot of resources on the web for women in abusive relationships. Here are a few I found searching Google:

http://www.helpabusedwomen.org/
http://www.snbw.org/
http://www.abusedadultresourcecenter.com/
http://www.womenslaw.org/

It's good that you came here looking for help, but I strongly suggest that you find help from professionals experienced in dealing with this subject.

Sincerely,

Chris Hartwell


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## SageMother (Jun 28, 2007)

I suggest you analyze why you think you would be making a mistake to leave him. It sounds to me like things whould get better for you without the relationship.


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## J.A.W (May 28, 2007)

*Get Professional Help*

It seems you have very low self esteem. Of course you can get someone who wouldn't beat the crap out of you!!! This relationship should not be acceptable! What do his wonderful parents think of their son beating you to a pulp on occasion? Why are these great people in your life not stepping in to get you away from this life where you're so in love one moment & getting your head busted open the next?!
This guy should be in jail


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