# My experience on the date scene so far...what is yours?



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

LOL (Keep in mind these are nice people)

One is 84 years old!!! Bumped into him today, he asked again.

One was stalking me on 4 different occasions when I took my dog for a walk, I caught him hiding in the bushes. Asked me to go to a coffee house, I refused. Naturally, a stalker yeah, right. Now I walk my pup when it's light, only.

One was a retaliatory date back in April and couldn't stop pawing me (come on I just met you) although I had said I was not over x and I am sorry to have taken this date and that it wasn't fair to either of us (he just text me a few days ago)

One is a chef and forget it.

What in heaven's name? I think this town may be a leetle small for the scene.

Too funny. God has a sense of humor.

When the time is right, right gang?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Yeah it's all about the timing.

My experience with the dating scene is non-existant. I have not dated since my divorce at all. It's been 8 months today that I got divorced.

I have zero desire to date and am still feeling traumatized. I am sure one day I will get there but it's not something that appeals to me. In the slightest. 

A friend of mine said I have a "wall" up. How true.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Sparkles422 said:


> LOL (Keep in mind these are nice people)
> 
> One is 84 years old!!! Bumped into him today, he asked again.
> 
> ...


My sister's date (first meeting after internet match up) was morbidly obese, not chubby as he stated and that was the good news. He also confided he was awaiting trial on the murder of his wife (courts opened up cold case and charged him). Be careful out there!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I met a woman shortly after separating, and I've been with her ever since. That was back in February.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

dating!? ha ha ha ha :rofl: lol just saying! 

I think dating has really changed since last I knew....

I mean the guys I have gone on a date with......there idea is bar then sex. And I don't drink, and I DON'T sleep around! So, now if I get asked out I literally tell then point blank..."I will not sleep with you!" lol And even then....they try! Ugh.... Really the only guys that have been really respectful are the ones that I have no attraction to!? :scratchhead: I want one who I am attracted to and who is respectful! :smthumbup:

Anyways, yeah, dating sucks IMO. lol None-the-less, I would rather go out and then stay home every weekend. So I go....laugh inside alot.....and try to at least make new friends....


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

I haven't dated, these people asked and I declined. I'm not ready yet.

But I am not into casual sex at all, I don't drink (so no clubs) so that leaves the playing field very short. 

When the time is right but for me to even consider or ponder dating is a step in the right direction.

I have looked online at dating sites but they do nothing for me. Like fb sort of fantasy world.

I have friends and we do things together so I do have a social life but I was so used to male companionship all of my life that it played an important role in my head about defining a full life. Not true or becoming not true: don't have to have male companionship to find fulfillment. Now that is a step in the right direction. Took me months of hard work to reach this point.

Eventually, I will date: I like men.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I've dated two guys since my divorce, and tomorrow will be officially 6 months since my divorce. However, I have come to realize over these past 6 months that I have codependency issues which is why I have been seeking out dates. It's been hard to face and deal with but I am making progress. I was very recently dating someone but we stepped back to being friends. He does still call me and text me everyday but I am going to take time to work on myself before I go out with anyone else again.


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## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

I'm enjoying it so far. But to be honest I have talked to some (more than 10) woman but only had what I would call one date.

I moved out in Feb and divorced in April and I have dated one lady now for about eight weeks. I was married for 19 years which covered all my college years and raising two girls who are now 13 & 15.

I'm having a positive experience and I enjoy talking with her and sharing past life experiences and thoughts. I was very open with her about 30 minutes into our first phone call to let her know who/what she was dealing with. That seemed to deflate/eliminate a lot of my nerves and she didn't run from it.

I want to only date one person at a time which i'm sure makes me behind the times or old school. I hear horrer stories of newly divorced people starting to date multiple people at the same time and some learn to regret moving at light speed right out of the gate. No thanks I'll take the slow lane on this one.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

I was with the same girl for the last seventeen years. Split up once, attempted to move on, but got back together, and got married for the latter ten of those seventeen years.

I'm what you would call, in the adjustment stage... Just now realizing the freedoms from certain married-only thought processes.
The other day I still felt a bit of guilt for looking at a woman at the store.. but I was checking her out. 
I thought about what her ankles felt like in my hands.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Shooboomafoo said:


> I thought about what her ankles felt like in my hands.


ha, I have to laugh at this... foot fetish? I've been seeing a woman, and while neither of us sees it lasting we do respect each other, enjoy each other and have pretty good sexual chemistry... I found myself dwelling on her ankles too, felt them, grabbed them, massaged them it was kinda creepy, don't think she has ever had a man do that before, but she let me keep doing it and I enjoyed it for some reason.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Ankles? Cankles? It sounds so Victorian, guys.

What is it about ankles? Very curious.

You know just reading these posts from you all, I can see how far we have come. Can you remember our agony? It's over for me. I don't know how or why, it may just be a week but it is the longest period of time that I am not fixated.

I really do feel much, much better. Got back into playing golf, tai chi, and the beach. Maybe kayaking soon (I have one at a friend's if I ever get her on cell).

I wish all of us the continued recovery.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Sparkles422 said:


> One is a chef and forget it.



What`s wrong with chefs?

At least you`d eat well.


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## TheMizz...erable (Aug 14, 2011)

I've met several women. One says she really likes me and we get along good but I don't want to get into anything too serious this soon. I've been divorced less than a week. I met some women before divorce was final because wife said she was not coming back. 

And the strangest thing happened at work...a male co-worker asked if I had a woman. I haven't made it known so I said yes. Anyway, his wife works with someone and he was trying to set his wife's co-worker up with someone. Just strange because that never happens. May ask about her tomorrow.

Anyway this weekend, I have one lady friend coming to see me(the one that likes me a lot) and another one that I've also met before wants to get together too.  I don't know what to think about all this. I am not used to it.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

tacoma: Nothing is wrong with chefs, yum. No I just wasn't ready and I didn't want to elaborate. Guess I should have, I left a bad impression on the board. He is a very nice man but I haven't seen him since.

the mizz: boy you sound like your hands may become very full in the future. But that is dating and it can be fun.

I can't wait until I'm ready. Actually I hooked up with an old chum (single yay) from high school and we have been chatting but nothing serious at this point and it may go nowhere and that's okay. I'm easy does it at this point.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Sparkles422 said:


> Ankles? Cankles? It sounds so Victorian, guys.
> 
> What is it about ankles? Very curious.
> 
> ...


Yeah, the agonizing is behind me, and there are definitely moments of anguish but at least I've filled up my schedule. For me a hard part was adjusting to my new agenda, half the time being a single parent, the other half having an empty nest, and it took long time to find new activities to fit into the big holes in my calendar that were being used to sit alone in my own dark hole. Staying busy is definitely important, but I think its also good to have a direction in mind so that you can mentally measure your progress in some way. Building the momentum is hard work, emotionally, but once you get some it makes things a lot easier to take in stride again.

As to ankles (definitely not cankles on this one, unlike the last ) I don't think I've ever been infatuated with them before, I think as I was holding some I thought it was weird to be holding someone's ankles whom weren't my xw's and I kind of liked it, was innocent yet naughty at the same time, it was new. I didn't feel anything other than pleasure and enjoyment, reminded me of being a teenager again (even though I never bothered with ankles back then) maybe people in victorian age were onto something.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Lon:

You sound so much better.

It's so invigorating to feel naughty.

Everyday I wake and think I wonder what is going to happen today? And I am excited.

Can't wait to see what I feel about ankles but I have always liked calves (not the moo moo kind) on men. Their legs! And torso! Ok shower time.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Sparkles422 said:


> LOL (Keep in mind these are nice people)
> 
> One is 84 years old!!! Bumped into him today, he asked again.
> 
> ...


Wow..84 years old? Seriously? You come across as much younger than that!  

Stalkers in the bushes? WTF? :scratchhead:

And if that chef looks anything like Robert Irving on the Food Network then send him over to me! 

I'm separated, not divorced and not looking to date so maybe I give off these vibes. I've gone on social outings and can tell some men are interested but I have a pretty strong personality and I can see that being a bit intimidating for many men. Plus I just don't give out the "I'm available" vibe. Plus, I'm not your typical 40-something woman. I guess in the end it saves me because I don't hassled or bothered or asked out. 

I guess they can just tell I'm not interested. 

What's this about ankles and calves? Let's just cut to the chase. I'm a gal who likes a nice butt and chest, Ok? I'll bet most men feel the same way.  :woohoo:


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

84 year olds????? Seriously? :rofl: Go Grandpa! 

I conversed with several guys via e-mail on a website, and one asked me out on a date, so making sure it was in a VERY public place, I agreed. A month later and we're still dating, which wasn't my intention when I agreed to meet him. But we clicked well for some reason. I don't know about the wisdom of being involved with someone right now, but I decided to let go and enjoy the ride. I haven't dated since high school, so it's a whole new ballgame!


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

yes I am much younger than 84 LOL! But he is persistent. It's touching but nothing more, for sure.

I like looking at the V shape of a man. But there has got to be something between the ears no matter how gorgeous. Can't abide stupidity, no tolerance.

Yeah, dating should be interesting, all I'm doing at this point is talking about it.

Cluck, cluck


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

You guys really make being single sound so Glamorous!

NOT!!!

So - where do you meet people? Anyone...???


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

I think we all can make the best of it by having fun. I don't want to be serious at this point.

Right now, it is just day-dreaming and enjoying the moments. I mentioned recently I wanted to go to midnight mass on Xmas Eve and this guy wants to take me. Very nice, because it's dark and to be alone at 12am and a woman, etc...

It's a step in the right direction, better than misery!

The point, for me is I'm not looking and that's what makes it fun. I have gotten beyond replacement/rebound because I didn't do that I went through the pain without rebounds or drinking or drugs. Ow!


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