# I don't know who we are at this point



## didlina (Oct 19, 2015)

Hi guys,
I am married 3 years now, but we are together for 9 yeas. I am a cheerful, happy person, opened for everything, and he is straight down to earth type, concerned about the money and so... I liked the combination of us, i put him up, and he puts me down. It was fun! When we got married, we were alone for the first year, wanted to travel a bit... Then we decided to have a baby, and we got a perfect baby boy. The joy of my life! Year after his birth, I ended up in the hospital, and stayed there for a month. Since that period, everything just stopped for us. He turned out to be such a coward, so afraid to show emotion... One of the times when we went in the ER (before I was hospitalised) I was in such pain and couldn't even talk to the doctor, and he said that I was rude. I will never forget that! And he just kept on being an scared ass through the whole time I was in the hospital. He was even rude to my mom who was so scared for me. After, he realised what he did, but never apologized to me or my mom. He is a proud type of a person. 
We live in a town that mainly lives from the summer season and of the tourists. So he works almost the whole day every day for 4 months. I also started my own business from home, so I had a lot of work. But all of my work was done after I had put my son in bed, because during the day I am devoted to him. I am 'stretched' on 100 sides but always had the will and time for housework, for playing, and for sex with my husband. But lately, he is not even for sex, i have to push him to fix things around the house that I can't fix, to walk the dog, to play with our son... and then I started loosing interest in him. I don't feel sexual about him anymore.
And talking to him is like talking to a wall. He has an 5 minute patience, and then he starts yelling that it is always his fault, and just shuts up and that's it... I really don't know what to do. I cry all the time, and I feel unhappy. Even my mom asked me what is going on, and I haven't told her nothing. She said that I look exhausted... that I am not myself. And she is right. My health problems are still active, and the doctors say that it is because I am under stress. The only medicine is my son!


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Sorry, you are in this place. Your husband is probably one of those men who cant articulate his thoughts and express how he feels. I think along the line due to his reaction at the time of your illness you have lost respect for him and most likely fell out of love.

In his way, I think he was so afraid that you might die and he would be left alone and with a small child to care for. As a result, he has been trying to detach from you, trying to avoid getting hurt. It sounds stupid, but that might be how his brain is functioning. 

He might even understand and sees what is happening to your marriage but is unable or does not know how to make things better. 

Do you think he might be willing to go to therapy?


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