# don't know who to believe...



## Diesel_Bomber (Mar 17, 2013)

I had my 7 year old son this past weekend for visitation. My domestic roommate wife decided to plant herself in front of the tv Saturday and Sunday and this kinda irritated me. So Saturday night I got out of the house and went for a drive. 

Today, when I was taking my boy back to meet his mom, he says "hey Dad, Stephanie said some mean things about you when you went for a drive last night." Names have been changed to protect anonymity. 

"Oh yeah? What mean things did she say?" "Well that you're lazy and all that you do is sleep." I have a small business, work full time, and whatever side work I can find on craigslist, plus I have MS so I get exhausted fairly easy.

My son has been getting therapy for a developed chronic lying issue in the past month, but "Stephanie" has used my 2 year old little girl to alienate me. She'll say "da da go night night" and my loving wife who is already infuriated about me bringing up a small issue, will correct her and say "yep [my real name here] is going night night" as a means of using my daughter as a weapon to get back at me.

So anyway, I get a text from my son's mother asking why Stephanie told my son that he couldn't call his mom. She also said that my son had said to her after the exchange that Stephanie said some mean things about his dad, and that she doesn't want him around that kind of environment and neither do I. Stephanie is a dirty filthy cheater, an emotional bully, and the only reason why I stay married to this horrid person is to protect my daughter who is the light of my life.

I really want to believe my son but hes been known to fabricate things but on the other hand, my domestic roommate is as toxic as Flint, Michigan tap water. I don't know how to approach this. It really upsets my son to see me being belittled like that, on the other hand, I don't know what the truth is, and Stephanie also has a pattern of not being the most upstanding person. 

I guess its back to therapy for me to try and sort this out :|


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Sorry you are going through this. Unless you enforce consequences for Stephanie's actions the situation will only get worse.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does Stephanie have a job and can she support herself?

Have you considered using a VAR (voice activated recorder) to find out what's really being said?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Also, who takes care of your daughter when you are at work?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Since your child is visiting you, take him with you when you go for a drive. Why would you even want to leave him with such a horrible person?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Blondilocks said:


> Since your child is visiting you, take him with you when you go for a drive. Why would you even want to leave him with such a horrible person?


Bingo!

If it's my visitation time, wtf am I doing getting away from the kid? 

If I needed to get out of the house, I'm taking junior along and we'd be livin' it up at the arcade, batting cages, catching the latest Marvel superhero movie, or just knockin' back some pizza and root beer--and the couch potato left behind never be any part of the equation.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Diesel_Bomber said:


> the only reason why I stay married to this horrid person is to protect my daughter who is the light of my life.


I made the same choice years ago. My lawyer told me that I would be unable to make the case that my wife was an "unfit" mother. That was reserved for drug addiction, felonies, physical violence, etc. - and consequently, my sons would have been in her primary custody. I stayed there so that they wouldn't have been subjected to a parade of selfish men in and out of her bedroom and at least, they had one parent who was attempting to demonstrate right.

Don't bring your son around her. You are fortunate that he is in the custodial care of his mom. When he comes to visit you, take your daughter too.
Make sure your daughter sees that there is a different choice about how to conduct her life.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*While there are usually some juvenile things that kids might make up or tell fibs over, hurtful comments made by stranger adults usually aren't one of them!

You need to get that more than toxic roommate out of your domicile post haste! She is only there to satiate her self-serving nature!

Lose her like the plague!*


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Initial thought is to believe the one with the least to gain by lying.

But you don’t even have to do that — get a VAR.


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