# First argument in 11 years.......



## Justme D (Oct 21, 2013)

Okay so I had my first real argument with my husband out of 11 years of marriage. I happen to look in his cell phone and found an inappropriate picture of a women's private part. (I'm tired of hearing when you look for stuff you're going to find it) Well I didn't expect to find that. He explains to me that he's not cheating it's just something he and his co-workers do. Here's where the problem lies....I had a discussion with him awhile back regarding porn and how he and his buddies text sexy pics of women back and forth. I explained to him that it bothered me for whatever reasons and then you hit me with texts of pics with a female co-worker on which I know now numerous occasions because he said they are just messing around..I never played around with my male co-workers like that...Where do they do that at and it's okay??????

Am I blowing this out of context?


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Did you start another thread about this or is it just similar? Something about how your husband is always texting with his co-workers and a woman co-worker sent a picture of her "tan lines"?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Wait, so...is the picture of someone he works with, or a random dirty pic that one of the guys sent him??


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

No, you aren't blowing this out of context. He's being disloyal to your relationship.


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## Justme D (Oct 21, 2013)

John Lee .. New thread new to this forum.


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## Justme D (Oct 21, 2013)

3xnocharm,

This is a pic from a female co-worker to my husband. Apparently they've been texting pics back and forth I only found that one pic of a woman's private part not sure if it was hers.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Justme D said:


> 3xnocharm,
> 
> This is a pic from a female co-worker to my husband. Apparently they've been texting pics back and forth I only found that one pic of a woman's private part not sure if it was hers.


In my opinion that kind of contact with a female, even if "innocent" and even if it's someone else's private part, should be off limits to a married person. Once you introduce sex into the conversation with a person of the opposite sex, it's playing with fire. My preference is not even to have opposite sex one-on-one "friendships" -- other people disagree but this works best for my marriage.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

I would also be very wary of a woman who sends that kind of thing to your husband. Sounds like a type of woman I am familiar with, and her intentions are probably not good.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

What reason does your husband have to contact this co-worker outside of work (or vice versa)? Just curious.

It's out of order. And so is he even arguing with you about it.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Justme D said:


> 3xnocharm,
> 
> This is a pic from a female co-worker to my husband. Apparently they've been texting pics back and forth I only found that one pic of a woman's private part not sure if it was hers.


When did showing off your junk to another person (especially someone who is married) become "innocent".

Ask him if its okay if you do sexy webcamming with guys? How would he feel about you sending pics of your junk to other guys. Maybe that cute guy down the street?

When did boundaries become such a BIG issue with people?


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

To be clear I put "innocent" in quotes for a reason and even then I only meant if it was someone else's, like under the guise of "look at this funny pic" or whatever.


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## Justme D (Oct 21, 2013)

JL,ABM, & D&H,

I agree totally. and the things that hurts the most is while having this argument (pretty much by myself) his apology seemed more like "sorry I got caught" than sincere. So I'm wondering how long can I walk around the house ignoring him.......


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

What cell phone carrier do you have? You can view pictures online that were sent from any phone on your account if you have Sprint. It shows the number sent to or received from. 

I think its time to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with your H!


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Justme D said:


> JL,ABM, & D&H,
> 
> I agree totally. and the things that hurts the most is while having this argument (pretty much by myself) his apology seemed more like "sorry I got caught" than sincere. So I'm wondering how long can I walk around the house ignoring him.......


When it comes to guys being inappropriate with the opposite sex, the easiest way to handle it is to "play their game". I GUARANTEE that if your husband opened up your phone and saw a pic of a huge schlong from a guy you work with, he'd be 1. INCREDIBLY INSECURE and 2. an extreme blend of angry and sad. 

I'm not saying to actually do this, but if your husband has ANY ABILITY to self-monitor, ask him how he would feel if he saw said picture in your phone. 

I would recommend counseling. Many people think counseling is for really bad problems and it's not. Counseling is for problems that the two people can't resolve together without a third party BEFORE they become a big problem.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

Justme D said:


> JL,ABM, & D&H,
> 
> I agree totally. and the things that hurts the most is while having this argument (pretty much by myself) his apology seemed more like "sorry I got caught" than sincere. So I'm wondering how long can I walk around the house ignoring him.......


Well I'm sure it does hurt. You're asking yourself 'can he be this careless and insensitive to my feelings? how could he NOT think this would bother me?... oh that's right, he thought I wouldn't see it and what I don't know doesn't hurt me.'

Guess what. It does. It's the act that hurts, not just you seeing it. His thought process that he could receive such a thing without any thought to you whatsoever. Then to argue? Defend himself? More insulting.

I think if you have to explain to him WHY this is a bad thing, then he's not worth the breath to do it. It's obvious that it's wrong, even to him or he would have run home and shown it to you. Tell him you're angry and disappointed in his behavior and are insulted that he thinks so little of you when it comes to other women. This is too close for comfort. She works with him.


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## Justme D (Oct 21, 2013)

Thanks everyone for the Words of Wisdom.....


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Justme D said:


> 3xnocharm,
> 
> This is a pic from a female co-worker to my husband. Apparently they've been texting pics back and forth I only found that one pic of a woman's private part not sure if it was hers.


I find it very odd that a woman would text some other womans junk to anyone.

WTF?

If they've been texting pics back and forth why haven't you seen any others?

Ask him to show you the others.
If he deleted them then he's hiding something.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

Hopefully your husband's employer doesn't pay for the cell phone and hopefully they weren't sending their little sexy time pics during working hours. If I found that going on between employees they'd both be fired and out the door so fast their heads would spin. I wouldn't take a chance on either one of them coming at me with a hostile work environment or sexual harassment suit!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Is this woman married or have a boyfriend?


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Justme D said:


> 3xnocharm,
> 
> This is a pic from a female co-worker to my husband. Apparently they've been texting pics back and forth I only found that one pic of a woman's private part not sure if it was hers.


Justme, I think you get the drift of the responses here. This is as wrong as it can be.


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## Justme D (Oct 21, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Is this woman married or have a boyfriend?


EleGirl...just heard she doesn't anymore just had a baby by her now ex boyfriend....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

Justme D said:


> Am I blowing this out of context?


I read your post earlier today. The rest of the day I tried to think of ANY context in which it would be considered appropriate/innocent/acceptable to send ANY sexually explicit joke/photo/pic whatever to a married male coworker. 

I could not think of one single context in which that would be acceptable. Not One.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Totally inappropriate. You are not out of line on this.


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## Ellie5 (Mar 12, 2013)

JustmeD

Any update on the last couple of days?

Big question for him - WHY???

I would go APE!


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## Scooter782 (Oct 4, 2013)

Hi Justme,

Coming from a guy, this is inappropriate of what your husband is doing. I would never do this to my gf, it's disrespectful and hurtful. It was right to say something and that how it hurts you. I understand sending funny pics to people but of their genitals, dumb.

His co-workers seem like a bunch of dinks, no pun intended.


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