# Uninterested in Sex



## Laceylu (Nov 10, 2013)

Here is my story:

I was abused as a child by a female babysitter. I have never been interested in sex. I met my now husband and wanted to be with him, but he had a gf. He cheated on her with me and initiated touching right away even though I told him no several times. To please him I let it go, but soon he wanted sex or even oral sex. I was still living at home and feeling the pressures of my over protective parents who did not know I was seeing him. Eventually we moved in together with a roommate and got a puppy. About a year into our relationship I found out he was sexting other girls. I got pissed. He said it would stop. Then our roommate told me she came home one day and some girl was straddling him on our couch. I threw all his belonging in the living room and yelled at him all night. He claimed he needed to get some things before work and she was his co-worker. He was giving her a ride to work and invited her up. He said that she pushed him on the couch and kissed him. I was upset that he did not stop her. It took time, but we moved past it until I found out he was sexting again a few months before our wedding. I wanted to marry him though so I did. I still don't trust him though. I love him, but I don't like him touching me or wanting sex all the time. I can't even imagine sex with another person. Originally before we got married I had panic attacks if I was going to orgasm and would then cry. I am not comfortable with having sex and I do it just to get it over with most of the time. We cannot afford therapy at this time and I have tried talking to him. He thinks I don't love him if we don't have sex. I would want to have sex more if I got something too. I am not interested in sexual acts at all. I wish he would do dishes or clean the house. I think he should work out more too. I know it is selfish but it is not fair that I eat healthy and he just drinks beer without a care.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Yikes, um that's a lot of issues!

So which of these problems you listed is the most pressing one?
The fact that your husband is a serial cheater?
The fact that you don't trust him because he is a serial cheater?
Your history of CSA?
His lousy sex that doesn't bring you to orgasm?
The fact that he does nothing to help out around the house?

You got a lot going here, best pick one or two top things to work on...


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Yes, there is too much to comment on. It sounds like you two should not be married. Mainly because of his cheating and also you not wanting any sex. Over time your laying there waiting for sex to be over is going to wear thin.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Laceylu said:


> Here is my story:
> 
> I was abused as a child by a female babysitter. I have never been interested in sex. I met my now husband and wanted to be with him, but he had a gf. He cheated on her with me and initiated touching right away even though I told him no several times. To please him I let it go, but soon he wanted sex or even oral sex. I was still living at home and feeling the pressures of my over protective parents who did not know I was seeing him. Eventually we moved in together with a roommate and got a puppy. About a year into our relationship I found out he was sexting other girls. I got pissed. He said it would stop. Then our roommate told me she came home one day and some girl was straddling him on our couch. I threw all his belonging in the living room and yelled at him all night. He claimed he needed to get some things before work and she was his co-worker. He was giving her a ride to work and invited her up. He said that she pushed him on the couch and kissed him. I was upset that he did not stop her. It took time, but we moved past it until I found out he was sexting again a few months before our wedding. I wanted to marry him though so I did. I still don't trust him though. I love him, but I don't like him touching me or wanting sex all the time. I can't even imagine sex with another person. Originally before we got married I had panic attacks if I was going to orgasm and would then cry. I am not comfortable with having sex and I do it just to get it over with most of the time. We cannot afford therapy at this time and I have tried talking to him. He thinks I don't love him if we don't have sex. I would want to have sex more if I got something too. I am not interested in sexual acts at all. I wish he would do dishes or clean the house. I think he should work out more too. I know it is selfish but it is not fair that I eat healthy and he just drinks beer without a care.



Sorry to hear about the abuse. Did you ever get therapy?

Sounds like your bf and now hubby wasn't mentally ready or mature enough to settle down and get married. This is not your fault and he is the issue.

His sexting and messing around would drive anyone crazy. You just don't do that.

I can understand why you don't want sex, get him to do more chores and work out.

If you can, divorce him. Many men out there who are ready to settle down and get married. They don't have affairs and they aren't sexting either.

You are a good woman and this guy messed around on you and really hurt you. You don't truly love or trust him anymore. I say, if you can, move on. Have time to yourself to heal and then find that guy who is mature and ready to settle down with you.


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## bevixnz (Nov 22, 2013)

Probably a bad idea getting married.

You knew he was a cheater and you decided to accept that, this hardy sends the signal that this is going to be a big problem for him.

Also, does he know about the abuse and how badly does it restrict you sex life at home?

If he doesnt do the dishes, then don't cook. Perhaps that may make him more helpful around the house


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