# Story of caution to Betrayed Spouses



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

That is so sad. I'm so sorry. In addition to the dad losing his life, his children now are stuck with the mom and the AP. God only knows what they will be exposed to. 

We had a similar tragedy in my area. The WW left to be with her AP. One day, she called her husband asking him to come pick her up, apparently she wanted to go back home. So the BH brought his 18 year old son and they went with baseball bats.

Well, the AP was armed. He yelled out to the BH and the son to stay away and said he was armed. The neighbors heard him warn them a few times and called 911. The story goes that the BH and the son cornered him in the garage tried to attack him. 

By the time the police arrived, the 18 year old was dead, having tried to crawl to the end of the driveway, and the BH was shot and in critical condition in the garage. 

I remember hearing people talking about it at a restaurant. We live in a rural area and apparently the WW worked at the nearby factory, and the her co-workers were talking about it. She was suicidal, and I don't know if the BH lived. She might have lost both of them. The AP was not charged because there was evidence that he was telling them to get away (the neighbors heard them all fighting and heard the warnings, and told the 911 operators) and because the baseball bats were in the garage. 

A young man lost his life, a mother and father lost their son, the father may have also died, and if the AP had any conscience at all, he knew that he killed an 18 year old. Even if he was being attacked and had "just cause" this still was a situation of his own making. It was all truly terrible.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

I feel so depressed right now. :frown2:


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## MovingForward (Jan 19, 2017)

This is awful the mental torture he must have been going through at the time is terrible. There is no good either you want the fiance and the AP to get what is coming to them but the kids are still involved just a Sheety situation all around.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

RoseAglow said:


> That is so sad. I'm so sorry. In addition to the dad losing his life, his children now are stuck with the mom and the AP. God only knows what they will be exposed to.
> 
> We had a similar tragedy in my area. The WW left to be with her AP. One day, she called her husband asking him to come pick her up, apparently she wanted to go back home. So the BH brought his 18 year old son and they went with baseball bats.
> 
> ...


Did the BS know that the AP was going to be violent when he got there? I wonder why they decided to bring bats.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Don't go after an armed man with baseball bats.

You forced his hand.

I am extremely brave...but not stupid. 

Tragic, preventable.

Call the cops. The new BF cannot hold her against her will. 

If nothing else, pick her up another day, maybe at work.

Terrible.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Those poor poor children. Either they will have to stay with their awful useless mother, and probably another good for nothing guy when this one is in jail, or they will loose both parents while she is also in jail.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

A TAM member -can't remember who- posted that his wife set him up to be murdered by her AP, but he sussed out what was happening and foiled their plot.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> A TAM member -can't remember who- posted that his wife set him up to be murdered by her AP, but he sussed out what was happening and foiled their plot.


Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue! I remember it being an intense story.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

jb02157 said:


> Did the BS know that the AP was going to be violent when he got there? I wonder why they decided to bring bats.


I assume that they didn't realize he had guns, or maybe they knew but expected that he wouldn't use them. I can't imagine that a father would bring his son into that risky of a situation, right? 

I don't know. As a wife and a mother, I don't understand why the WW called her husband, and I hope that she didn't encourage their son to show up. I have to think that she called for help or told her husband that the AP was abusing her or something. Something that provoked the BH to get violent? If so, she should have called 911 to get herself out of there.

I can't imagine anything worse than knowing that your actions caused your child to die, and maybe your husband, too. I would not be able to live with myself.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Under normal circumstances, it sounds like his estate should be able to sue for wrongful death in the sheer millions, but the ex-con murderer, financially speaking, I'm all too sure, doesn't have a pot to pi$$ in, nor a window to throw it out of! 

This is the nadir of gross injustice and ranks right up there as sheer stupidity on the BS' part in doing what he did!*


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## Secondguessing (Mar 6, 2017)

When I found out the identity of my stbxw AP, I harassed him at work for months on end. He was a sex offender. I sent emails to his church. I had DCS interview him. I was constantly contacting his parole officer. But I never went near him. Maybe I was scared but after reading this, I think I made the right choice.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Two terrible stories. Moral of the story is to just stay away and use the courts to settle issues.


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## Kerf (Apr 22, 2017)

threelittlestars said:


> New man, ex convict, dug addict, possible sex offender, but charges never stuck.
> 
> Neither have been arrested as far as im aware, but im sure they or HE will be soon.


Well, they better get to arresting the scumbag soon or he might not stick around.And there are innocent children in the picture, Christ.




> This WS is still with the man who killed the father of her children.


Affairs are usually always horrible, but this peach seriously doesn't have humanity left in her.




> Kicked the BS out of the house and moved her new man in.
> 
> He found himself at the door step and tried to get into his apartment,


It was the BS's apartment?What right did she have to kick him out?Shouldn't be the other way around?Damn, this could have been so easily solved.


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## Dr. Stupid (Dec 8, 2016)

I counselled a cheating wife whose AP killed her husband. The AP got drunk and set fire to the BH's house, killing the BH and one of the children- 3 years old. The 10 year old was at a sleepover, or all would have been wiped out. 

It's hard to counsel a person who brought such evil into a family through her own selfish acts. Sadly, the purpose wasn't to counsel her on that particular incident, but over her regret over an abortion that she had while with her latest boyfriend... who was an older well-to-do man with a vasectomy, and demanded that she abort the child or get kicked off of the gravy train. Yeah... a real prize she was. She apparently didn't know that the old chap was neutered and tried to pass the child off as his. The tragedy with her former husband and children only came out as a part of that therapy. 

All and all, an incredibly beautiful, yet loathsome and disgusting woman she was. Woman should bring life into the world, not destroy it through selfishness and/or betrayal. 

Regardless, I did the best that I could, with what little I had to work with in her. How is one to cheerfully help another who has no sense of decency? That's always been a difficult question for me. Luckily, I'm able to detach myself emotionally while in the office.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Dr. Stupid said:


> I counselled a cheating wife whose AP killed her husband. The AP got drunk and set fire to the BH's house, killing the BH and one of the children- 3 years old. The 10 year old was at a sleepover, or all would have been wiped out.
> 
> It's hard to counsel a person who brought such evil into a family through her own selfish acts. Sadly, the purpose wasn't to counsel her on that particular incident, but over her regret over an abortion that she had while with her latest boyfriend... who was an older well-to-do man with a vasectomy, and demanded that she abort the child or get kicked off of the gravy train. Yeah... a real prize she was. She apparently didn't know that the old chap was neutered and tried to pass the child off as his. The tragedy with her former husband and children only came out as a part of that therapy.
> 
> ...


I see your task as impossible. One cannot reason and be rational with a child and these people are children, their chronological age notwithstanding. Many here have refuted this when I post on various threads but if they were to take the time to thoroughly think it through they would see that any cognizant being would be incapable of behaving in such an irrational manner. If these people had the ability to compile, extrapolate and project they simply could not do what they do. However, since they lack this ability, they see their behavior as completely acceptable until something happens, as in the two stories here, and then they simply shift blame to another since they obviously cannot be at fault. They are, after all, perfect in every way, as are most children.

When the tools of reason, rationale and logic are removed from the toolbox then the only ways left to affect change in someone is to tap into the baser feelings. Threats, intimidation and fear are the only effective tools and then only so long as the person making the threats can actually carry them out. When the fear of actual retribution is removed the person then reverts back to their true character. If the change cannot be made within, using their own cognizance, then it is futile, temporary at best. Good fotune to you my friend, you need it.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Don't go after an armed man with baseball bats.


Give new meaning to, "Going to a gun fight with a knife". The unwritten epitaph in most of these stories is, " Here lies a man chasing woman who no longer wanted him."

Some more of my "what's another name" for a man trying to get his wife/girlfriend back by attacking the other are:

1. The patient
2. The deceased
3. The defendent


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

VladDracul said:


> Give new meaning to, "Going to a gun fight with a knife". The unwritten epitaph in most of these stories is, " Here lies a man chasing woman who no longer wanted him."
> 
> Some more of my "what's another name" for a man trying to get his wife/girlfriend back by attacking the other are:
> 
> ...


Most of these guys are not street fighters but regular guys who know little if nothing about fighting or confrontations...best to let the courts handle it because no cheater is worth being a patient, a defendant and certainly not dead for.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

RoseAglow said:


> That is so sad. I'm so sorry. In addition to the dad losing his life, his children now are stuck with the mom and the AP. God only knows what they will be exposed to.
> 
> We had a similar tragedy in my area. The WW left to be with her AP. One day, she called her husband asking him to come pick her up, apparently she wanted to go back home. So the BH brought his 18 year old son and they went with baseball bats.
> 
> ...


Wow..sad..first off the POS woman can NEVER be redeemed ever - she should suffer for the rest of her life..she is a worthless POS


These two should be outcasts for good and run out of the community..the POS WW and AP should be denied service in stores, ignored in public and their lives made miserable...the community needs to step up and make their lives hell..


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Wow..sad..first off the POS woman can NEVER be redeemed ever - she should suffer for the rest of her life..she is a worthless POS
> 
> 
> These two should be outcasts for good and run out of the community..the POS WW and AP should be denied service in stores, ignored in public and their lives made miserable...the community needs to step up and make their lives hell..


A spanking by any other name....


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Good reminder OP. It's definitely a time people lean more toward drinking, but so many dangers lie therein during a betrayed situation. 

I had one that really affected my life deeoply. I drew very close as a teen to a young married couple about ten years older than me. I was even able to be there for their daughters birth. 

Years later the wife had an affair. Had been lying about it forever. She was a SAHM and hubby was her meal ticket big time, as she was NOT going to work. Once the affair came out, he still tried to work on R. She was pretending to also. Then she _cut her own brakes_ and drove with their child in the car!! This was only the first attempt to paint something diabolical on the BH.

I remained very close friends with the BH and their daughter.

They divorce and she marries her much younger lover, who before her everyone that knew him said was a super sweet man. She continues, even post divorce, to sue BH for more and more money (new young hubby didn't have the right earning potentional for her.) After a couple of years, I guess she ran out of lawsuit ideas. I believe she spent all that time filling her boy toys head with evil things.

One night the POSOM stalks BH as he goes to do volunteer work at his church. He walked in there and in front of others, unloaded his weapon. My friend died in another one of our friends arms. Devastating to SO many people. Although POSOM pulled the trigger, I blame the WW much more. She was smart though, because then she got control of their daughters inheritance and benefits from life insurance policies their dad had. Rumor has it she has spent all of those now. She is 50 and still has never worked a day in her life. It scares me to think what she is probably planning as her next move.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

NoChoice said:


> A spanking by any other name....


A spanking (well deserved) would be an assault  ...social punishment can be just as effective - perhaps more so...they need to feel like the sh!t that they are forever


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Spicy said:


> Although POSOM pulled the trigger, I blame the WW much more.


Agree 100% - the WSs bring this danger into the home so the deceased persons blood is on their hands forever. Another gift of infidelity - man the gifts the Ws brings home from cheating are endless arent they?


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

Truthseeker1 said:


> A spanking (well deserved) would be an assault  ...social punishment can be just as effective - perhaps more so...they need to feel like the sh!t that they are forever


Social punishment will not cause physical pain and in underdeveloped intellects physical pain is much more effective. How does one make someone feel like "****" when they have no clue what "****" feels like? They will simply ascribe the bad treatment they are receiving to people being *******s. Being perfect they simply cannot see how their behavior would warrant such treatment. They must be able to put two and two together in order to see that their being treated in this manner is a result of their own bad behavior. You attribute to them more cognitive ability than they have/deserve.

Curious, would capital punishment be considered assault?


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

NoChoice said:


> Social punishment will not cause physical pain and in underdeveloped intellects physical pain is much more effective. How does one make someone feel like "****" when they have no clue what "****" feels like? They will simply ascribe the bad treatment they are receiving to people being *******s. Being perfect they simply cannot see how their behavior would warrant such treatment. They must be able to put two and two together in order to see that their being treated in this manner is a result of their own bad behavior. You attribute to them more cognitive ability than they have/deserve.
> 
> Curious, would capital punishment be considered assault?


Good points - many cheaters lack empathy but if they were driven from their favorite bars, hangouts, clubs etc they get the hint but any type of physical assault or worse would land you in jail possibly for life..better to damage them economically and socially


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Spicy said:


> She was smart though, because then she got control of their daughters inheritance and benefits from life insurance policies their dad had. Rumor has it she has spent all of those now. She is 50 and still has never worked a day in her life. It scares me to think what she is probably planning as her next move.


This is the reminder to find a really top notch attorney to do one's will and trust when getting divorced (or remarried). Change the beneficiaries on all retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and bank accounts. The money can be protected pretty easily but it takes the knowledge of a good attorney, not some website downloaded fill-in-the-blanks documents.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Thor said:


> This is the reminder to find a really top notch attorney to do one's will and trust when getting divorced (or remarried). Change the beneficiaries on all retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and bank accounts. The money can be protected pretty easily but it takes the knowledge of a good attorney, not some website downloaded fill-in-the-blanks documents.


Yeah, they both had good attorneys, but he had changed his beneficiaries from his WW to DD. Since DD was still a minor at the time of the murder, mommy got control of all that money he had left for his daughter. She is now of age, and wants to go to college, but there is no money left. Nauseating from every direction.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

It's no surprise that these types of things happen. Sad, yes, but not surprising. Take an OM who obviously is lacking in morals anyway, throw a woman who also lacks morals into the mix, add some drugs, then add a distraught husband as the final touch. Nothing good can come of such a mix. 

I hate to say it, but the best thing that could happen to those kids would be for the state to put them in an orphanage. Their life is going to be a living hell with the OM and their useless mother. 

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

NoChoice said:


> I see your task as impossible. One cannot reason and be rational with a child and these people are children, their chronological age notwithstanding. Many here have refuted this when I post on various threads but if they were to take the time to thoroughly think it through they would see that any cognizant being would be incapable of behaving in such an irrational manner. If these people had the ability to compile, extrapolate and project they simply could not do what they do. However, since they lack this ability, they see their behavior as completely acceptable until something happens, as in the two stories here, and then they simply shift blame to another since they obviously cannot be at fault. They are, after all, perfect in every way, as are most children.
> 
> When the tools of reason, rationale and logic are removed from the toolbox then the only ways left to affect change in someone is to tap into the baser feelings. Threats, intimidation and fear are the only effective tools and then only so long as the person making the threats can actually carry them out. When the fear of actual retribution is removed the person then reverts back to their true character. If the change cannot be made within, using their own cognizance, then it is futile, temporary at best. Good fotune to you my friend, you need it.


They are not children they are evil.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Spicy said:


> Good reminder OP. It's definitely a time people lean more toward drinking, but so many dangers lie therein during a betrayed situation.
> 
> I had one that really affected my life deeoply. I drew very close as a teen to a young married couple about ten years older than me. I was even able to be there for their daughters birth.
> 
> ...


We should bring back stoning.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Sometimes I think that on the day of separation, restraining orders should be put in place. I have a client who is looking at 24-48 months for taking a weapon to the AP's arms and legs, near crippling him. His WW is back, because literally, her AP blames her, and she has nowhere else to go, and with him in jail, their kids require a parent. 

I assume when he gets out, or even from prison, he will file divorce papers, and end this melodrama.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

sokillme said:


> We should bring back stoning.


I knew I loved you. >


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## Kerf (Apr 22, 2017)

Spicy said:


> Good reminder OP. It's definitely a time people lean more toward drinking, but so many dangers lie therein during a betrayed situation.
> 
> I had one that really affected my life deeoply. I drew very close as a teen to a young married couple about ten years older than me. I was even able to be there for their daughters birth.
> 
> ...




Holy... straight out of a bad soap opera.This kind of stuff isn't supposed to happen in real life.God.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

sokillme said:


> We should bring back stoning.


A spanking with rocks....intriguing.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Spicy said:


> I knew I loved you. >


Took you long enough.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Kerf said:


> Holy... straight out of a bad soap opera.This kind of stuff isn't supposed to happen in real life.God.


But it does happen - that is the thing with cheating - the cheater opens up a pandoras box and brings downhell on a lot of innocent people....that is why it is such a heinous thing to do...


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

RoseAglow said:


> A young man lost his life, a mother and father lost their son, the father may have also died, and if the AP had any conscience at all, he knew that he killed an 18 year old. Even if he was being attacked and had "just cause" this still was a situation of his own making. It was all truly terrible.


If he is still alive there would be people rooting for him to R. "I'm finally seeing true remorse!" 

Sorry I can't help myself. >


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

sokillme said:


> They are not children they are evil.


Curious, how many mature, responsible, fully cognizant adults do you know that are evil?


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