# Counselor told my wife its ok to see the other man?



## InstantNoodles (Sep 28, 2009)

To sum it all up. She 'kissed' a guy. I left, she asked me not to come back until she figures out how she feels about me. She still maintains contact with the guy, and a month later I am just done.

I tried a session of counseling, but the fact that she cant break off contact with the guy, I told the counselor I wasnt coming back (counselor didnt know that she hadnt broke off contact). My wife, went to her own counselor, and talked with her.

I told my wife I wanted a dissolution. She asked me to please go see her counselor, since she knows everything. I asked her if the counselor knew that she still maintained contact, and what she had to think of it. 

According to her, she said the counselor saw nothing wrong with it, since she is trying to repair the marriage by being in counseling. Do counselors actually give advice like this or is this bull?


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Not all counselors are pro-marriage. 

Also, early on sometimes counselors feel it is better to keep the person engaged and reach the point where they let go of the other person later than to piss off the client right away by imposing something on them.

You need to continue counseling and to talk about how much it hurts you that she says she wants to work on the marriage but won't give up the other man. How would she feel if the shoe were on the other foot?

When you opt out of the dialog, you're really losing.


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## Christianmarriage (Oct 27, 2009)

I would have to say to speak with her counselor. Also I agree that all counselors are not in the business of trying to save marriages.


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