# Heart ached; didn't see that coming



## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Filed in February. Waiting on slow lawyers. Still living at home. Somehow we still all 4 go to church together fairly regularly. We just never stopped in the midst of the divorce and all. A dozen of our closest friends there know what's going on.

So yesterday after service I'm standing in the back and this lady shuffles by in the crowd with her two daughters. I had one of those 'wow' moments where for whatever reason...I was just so intrigued with her. I've seen her a few times before but not regularly. I saw her outside talking to several mutual friends as we all did our little socializing before departing. And that was that.

Except...I found myself thinking about it the rest of the afternoon. I dont' even know her and she seemed to be about 10 years younger than me but it was the way I felt for a brief moment. She had two daughters; I have two daughters. She had the physical traits that appeal to my liking and she wasn't wearing a ring. I just thought wouldn't it be so awesome to fall in love again with someone like that? Of course I know nothing about her personally but it wasn't about that. Have you ever made eye contact with someone randomly somewhere and just had "that feeling" rush through you? I've experienced it a few times in my life and I always thought that must be what "love at first sight" feels like. Although we never pursue those moments they do get your attention. 

I thought those days were gone forever and I would never feel that again. Heck I'm not even completely divorced yet and still living at home but it just made me realize what I've been missing for the past dozen years. My hearts been made of stone for a while now.

It made me really sad. Not being touched or loved by a member of the opposite sex for so many years just destroys you inside.

Just wanted to share and see if anyone else has experienced this. I have no plans to ask friends who she is or anything. It was just one of those moments that wake you up inside.


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## bmark33 (Jun 20, 2013)

BeachGuy said:


> It made me really sad. Not being touched or loved by a member of the opposite sex for so many years just destroys you inside.


I'm living this...well up until she moved out. STBXW would give me pity sex but that's not fulfilling. It's been a couple of years since she's really looked me in the eye and told me she loves me.

Good to know that eventually other women will catch me eye. Right now that hasn't happened for me...not close to being detached from my wife yet.


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