# What Do I Do??



## Brokenhearted16 (Feb 13, 2016)

I recently found out that my husband made a pass at my sister abt 5 yrs ago. It somehow slipped from a friends mouth. I was obvioulsy devastated. I dont know what to do or say. Its been 5 yrs. Nothing happened. But it was discussed and still held from me. At this point I dont trust either of them. Please help!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

How about talking to your husband about it?


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## AACoupledUp (Feb 3, 2016)

OMG! I wish I could give you a hug! 
You have to talk to him about it. Otherwise you'll keep torturing yourself with the unknown. Ask him everything, don't hold anything back. ....but also be prepared for his answers. The truth can hurt. Then ask your sister her side (before he gets a chance to tell her). If the stories don't match up...there could be a bigger problem. It does suck that everyone knew about it and nobody said anything. I could understand if they kept it to themselves but they are going around discussing it amongst themselves. Thats not cool. 
Well, Best Wishes. I really hope you find clarity. Go do something nice for yourself.


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## jigga114 (Mar 15, 2015)

Yeah, talk to your H about this OP. Making a pass at your sister is beyond the pale, and must deal with this head on. Do not beat around the bush. Good luck OP.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Brokenhearted16 said:


> I recently found out that my husband made a pass at my sister abt 5 yrs ago. It somehow slipped from a friends mouth. I was obvioulsy devastated. I dont know what to do or say. Its been 5 yrs. Nothing happened. But it was discussed and still held from me. At this point I dont trust either of them. Please help!


It "somehow slipped"???

You need to do some research before you take this to your husband or your sister. Has your husband been guilty of infidelity before? Has he proven himself untrustworthy?
Then, by all means, proceed with hell fury.
If not, give it some thought.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faiora (Apr 20, 2013)

I'm really close to my sister and I trust my husband completely, so it's a bit hard for me to wrap my head around this, but if someone told me my husband had made a pass at my sister I think I would be likely to ask my sister about it first, just because I'd want to know how she interpreted this supposed event. If my sister laughed and remembered it as a joke or something, or if she didn't remember it happening, then that would be the end of that. If she remembered and thought it was weird or my husband was drunk or something at the time, then I'd talk to my husband about it.

Mind you, I'm also fine with the talk-to-my-husband-first approach. I mostly wouldn't in this scenario because it sounds like there's probably some funny explanation that I'd have fun laughing about with my sister. 

Why do you believe this person who "let it slip?" Do you have other reasons to doubt your husband?


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

I was accused by my wife's sister of making a pass at her. Now I'm on the list with hundreds of other guys who have made a pass and the 27 different men who raped her; a number of them being the shrinks while she was committed to psych ward on several occasions. At 5'2"" and tipping the scale at more than 300, she's so sexy men just can't contain themselves when she's around.
Why the "friend" let it slip was more than likely done with malice generated by something. 
I think I'd run it by sis first. If its viable, confront your old man. Chances are if something like that happened, there would have been a recognizable change in their behavior toward each.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Was this friend who let it slip, a man or woman? What was the conversation when it slipped? How did it come up? Did said friend just walk up to you and tell you? Were you talking with friend about problems or unhappiness in the marriage? What is going on in friend's life? Is friend married, single, dating, unhappy with their love life? 

For balance, have you ever checked your husband's phone records, email, or the company he keeps when he is out without you?

I don't really want to know, but ask yourself what was going on at that time? How was your sex life with him prior to that possible incident? Were you two distant or close and communicating well? Did you both feel loved and respected? And so forth...

Careful thought minus conclusions based solely in emotion might help you get an idea of what could have been happening and prepare you for your deep conversation about each other. It could be absolutely nothing, but an attack against your marriage by a jealous friend. It will take a calm thoughtful response and query to figure out.


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## lexis (Feb 11, 2016)

Brokenhearted16 said:


> I recently found out that my husband made a pass at my sister abt 5 yrs ago. It somehow slipped from a friends mouth. I was obvioulsy devastated. I dont know what to do or say. Its been 5 yrs. Nothing happened. But it was discussed and still held from me. At this point I dont trust either of them. Please help!


Why do you automatically assume it's true?

Do you have no trust in your husband, such that you'd take someone's word for it without asking him?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I' m with some of the others. Don't assume it's true.

talk to your sister first.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Made a pass.

What? 

A cuddle? (Comforting her on hearing bad news.)

A kiss? (Just a kiss like happens between brothers and sisters.

See? Maybe a misinterpretation.

But let me tell you a story. A friend of my wife and of mine to a lesser extent, told us a story about how she had caught a married male relative of mine having an affair.

She gave such incredible details of how and when she saw them together that, had I not known that my male relative had been at home thousands of miles away at the time/date she specifically told us, with his own wife and children, I might have been taken in.

It turned out that she had made the whole story up. But we never figured out why.

Though it did cost her her job.


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## bankshot1993 (Feb 10, 2014)

two conversation need to happen, one with your husband and one with your sister. until those have been had there isn't any point even speculating about what to do.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Have you asked your H about this rumour yet?


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