# My story. A decade long romance destroyed.



## need_help_to_recover (Mar 17, 2017)

I was 25 years old when I met my wife. I was head over in heels love with her. After a brief courtship of about a year, we were married. 

Fast forward about 9 years, She told me that she was done with the marriage. This was 4 months ago, and I have been in free fall since. 

Divorce is one of those things that always happens to someone else. How it happened to me was shocking. My wife had over the years fallen out of love, and stayed in the marriage partly out of duty and financial dependance. 

Our undoing was my struggle with providing for the family, and my wife's inability to be manage money. Over time, the differences made her feel that she was controlled , and I felt that I was drowning to make ends meet. 

She would not talk to me, she always felt awkward about talking about her feelings. And so years went by with her feeling more or more detached. And I was increasingly feeling that I was with someone who did not appreciate me. 

I made endless sacrifices to make sure she got first dibs at any spending money, but it was not enough. The resentment had bore deep, and she kept it to herself. I tried to reach her, but she would never open up. She felt our differences were permanent, whereas I believed we could compromise on any issue. 

She has since moved out, found some work, and with a promise from me to give her some support for the next two years, while she tries to stand on her own two feet. 

I feel like a ghost now. Shifting through my own life. We have a 5 year old boy, whose fate I worry about a lot. 

I wonder what lies ahead for us. I have had no luck with OLD. And although I still love her, I know she has nothing left in her heart for me. So I am trying to move on. 

Picked up new hobbies, and re-investing in old one, taking on some challenges which will push me. Trying to rebuild my confidence, my identity. I swing through hope for a new life, to melancholy. 

I have been blogging too. And I find the solace in the words of kind strangers very assuring.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I would advise you to skip the OLD for now, you are in no frame of mind to be with someone new, and that would not be fair to them. Keep doing what you're doing with the hobbies, etc, find yourself again and get your mind right. Then you can give dating a shot.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

And keep your mouth shut about what you're doing and what you intend to do for her.

Mysterious men with a plan are attractive.

Whimpering clingy soon to be ex's get no respect.


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## need_help_to_recover (Mar 17, 2017)

my contact with her is essentially down to 0. Trying to move on with my life. I am actually enjoying being a single dad. Its furstrating at times, but cooking and stuff is not that hard. My house isn't the cleanest at times, but thats a price I have to pay. 

I will need some work before I feel better about myself, for sure. 

One mysterious man with a plan coming up.


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