# Follow-up on the TA post



## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

Hi guys, thank you for giving advices on how to ask the guy I was crushing on out. 

So, we went out, had a good time. My level of interest went down because he was my crush for three months, and now that I had what I wanted seems like the urge calmed down a little. He mentioned several times during the date that we should do things together (like learn a language together.. we are both trying to learn Italian, just a coincidence since we are both Italian decendents), he mentioned going kaiaking, mentioned we should go out again this Wednesday... And I was receptive, but I don't really believe he will want to go out with me again. He said several times during the date that he was having a great time, but I don't know.. maybe the date went so well that I don't believe he really means everything he said. Firstly because I was the one who asked him out first, and second because I just don't believe this is happening. I never went out with a crush, and this all seems too bizarre to me. By the way, we kissed on the way home and he once again mentioned meeting again. 
After the date yesterday he sent me a text saying he had a great time. But I still don't believe it though. 

I know, I know I sound like a whinny baby, I haven't been on a first date for 6 years(I was married and I am 29years old now) and this whole things seems a little strange to me.

If he doesn't ask me out I will be ok with that (even though we will see each other every day when classes come back from coronavirus thing and we are in the same group of friends). I will be ok because at least I got what I wanted and the crush feeling calmed down.
But that would still be nice though if he asked me out because I would understand I am not totally unworthy (got out of a marriage that made me think like that).

What do you guys honestly think? Or what tips would you give me to get over this feeling?
Btw you guys have been helping me with relationships since 5 years ago. I posted things about my marriage a long time ago and you guys advised me to leave and I didn't, and now I am trying to fix the mess I became.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

From what you said, he was very much into seeing you. So I'm not sure why you are so insecure about his desire to date you. 

Perhaps what looks like your insecurity is you protecting yourself? That way if he does not now ask you out and this goes nowhere, you can say that you knew all along that this was not going to work out?

You are over thinking things. Just accept it for what it is. You two went out and had a good time. You connected on many things. That's good. 

Now let him make the next move. If he asks you out, go and enjoy yourself. Stop over thinking everything.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

EleGirl said:


> From what you said, he was very much into seeing you. So I'm not sure why you are so insure about is desire to date you.
> 
> Perhaps what looks like your insecurity is you protecting yourself? That way if he does not now ask you out and this goes nowhere, you can say that you knew all along that this was not going to work out.
> 
> ...


This in a nutshell.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

What do I think of your complete *self-sabotaging *of what sounds like it was a perfectly lovely date?

I think it sucks.

Knock it off.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Gosh, we should go float on a kayaking on the river, dinner next Wednesday? Wanna learn Italian together? Yeah, definitely not into it. Sheesh.... It it is your first date in 6 years post marriage. I'm sure it is weird. Get yourself out there and see where this goes. Currently it is to classes for a language and a boat ride. Get going.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

Sorry guys for the post, I was just really confused and wasn't seeing things clear. He's keeping in touch so he's obviously interest, I guess. I will allow myself be more open to this. Btw I love how honest you all always are.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

The crush stage never lasts. This isn't a bad thing. 

Dating is always a little weird, you share stuff you don't in any other part of your life.

Like others have said, this sounds positive so far. Loosen up, enjoy the ride and see where it heads.


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