# We hardly spend any time together



## Asking4Flowers (Mar 2, 2011)

I have posted here about my relationship before but I just want to get advice on one issue this time. We have had a rocky 2011 but we are trying to rebuild our relationship. We had our first counselling session last week and he told the psychologist that he realized that I was the best thing that ever happened to him after he lost me. But I still don't feel like I am a priority in his life. I don't know if I am being demanding but I am really bothered that in the past two months we have only spent a handful of days together. He works a two-week rotational shift but then he has two whole weeks off which he always says will be dedicated to me but they are not. Granted, his spare time is partly occupied by volunteering, working another job (his choice), or travel to see his family. But he has been gone for the past 1.5 weeks of his break and wants to spend the last five days of his break on the road driving truck for his uncle's company. And I have a bad history with this uncle - he tried to hook up with me when I first started dating his nephew and when his overly aggressive advances did not succeed he tried to manipulate my partner just to prove his power. So that only adds to my feelings that I am not a priority in his life. He says he will make it up to me but he has said that several times over the past two months, these five days were supposed to be the time he was going to use to "make it up to me". What should I make of all this?


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

continue to go to counseling and bring it up there. explain how you feel and what you need.


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## Asking4Flowers (Mar 2, 2011)

Thank you for your answer. Unfortunately, he broke on of my personal boundaries since - he is drinking again. In hindsight, I should have handled this better. There was no point getting angry and blocking his calls, I just feel so powerless with him. But now he crossed my "point of no return" and I need to be true to myself and let him know that I do no want to continue any relationship with him. So sad.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Asking4Flowers said:


> Thank you for your answer. Unfortunately, he broke on of my personal boundaries since - he is drinking again. In hindsight, I should have handled this better. There was no point getting angry and blocking his calls, I just feel so powerless with him. But now he crossed my "point of no return" and I need to be true to myself and let him know that I do no want to continue any relationship with him. So sad.


Why do women think indifference/blocking calls isn't an act of war?

Picking up the first time. Calmly telling someone you don't wish to talk and ending the phone call is so much more classy.

It removes the concerns about safety and other things that cloud the issue.

I don't think I'll ever understand that one.


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## just_a_guy (Mar 15, 2011)

Agreed...
At least let him know that you are there. If he doesn't know he is being blocked or ignored, I'm sure he'd feel a bit uneasy if he has been trying to get a hold of you all day and you've been ignoring him.
Though he may have lost some respect for you by crossing some boundaries, doesn't mean that you now start to lose respect too. Nothing good comes of it...


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