# No idea what to do



## scubatrigger (Apr 30, 2012)

We have been married for about 6 years now. We have 10 month old. We had terrible fights before the baby came. We were naive and thought the baby would help are weak amrriage. During the preganancy the lack of intimacy drove us apart further. After the baby came my wife becamne addicted to the baby and competely neglected me. We sleep in separate beds because she insist that the baby sleeps in bed with her. Theres not enough room for the three of use in the bed so I chose to move into the guest room . We dont get a long very welll and communication is non existent. She is deaf so it is hard to have a deep conversation with her and my sign language skills are poor. She wont have sex with me but still want s to go to picnics with our friends or be a part of work parties and pretend that every thing is fine between us. Today she asked me when I want to have another baby. I was shocked. "Another baby!!" Doesnt she know we will probab;y get a divorce in the near future or is this all part of the pretending to be a happy couple thing? I would hate have to share the baby with her. My parents were divirced and i know its not the best situation for a child. What do I do. Should I do. Im lonley in the guest room. I love our baby so much. I could have happy mariage with someone else. I need help.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

You two need to get into counselling NOW!

I'd say you're not on the same page, but you two don't appear to even be reading the same book!

Wife: wants another baby
Husband: considering divorce

Wife: sleeping with child
Husband: sleeping in guest room

Wife: getting her emotional needs met through child
Husband: NOT getting his emotional needs met

And you can't even communicate effectively because your wife is deaf and you don't 'sign' well.

* Find a counselor NOW (couples or marriage) who can 'sign' fluently (so s/he can understand the nuances of what your wife is saying)

* Put your foot down about YOUR child sleeping in his/her OWN room and get back in YOUR bed.

* If you and your wife have sex in the future, USE protection until you have resolved whether or not you're staying together.

If you're not communicating about the differences in what you both want and need, then get a counselor to help you start communicating NOW.

You two may decide to divorce or you may decide to stay married, but until you two begin having meaningful conversations together, you're just going to continue on the way you are...your wife seemingly happy with the way things are, and you miserable with the way things are.


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