# Picky Eater



## southern wife

My 7 year old daughter is a picky eater. I always told myself that I would not be the type of parent that did the "different meals" thing for her and us. But day after day I find myself doing just that. 

She will only eat mac & cheese, hotdogs/corn dogs, plain cheeseburger *ONLY* from McDonalds, cheese pizza, grilled cheese sammich, chicken nuggets or strips and the occassional chicken leg, ham, bacon, grits, certain cereals with NO milk, green beans, broccoli with cheese, rice, the occassional waffles or pancakes, corn on the cob (the only way she'll eat corn), cheese quesadillas, peaches, bananas, strawberries.....I'm trying to think of other things. :scratchhead:

Granted she will eat different things, I just don't think it's enough. She is pretty good at trying new and different things, but usually does not like them. 

I cannot get her to eat things we eat like lasagna, cheeseburgers we make at home, eggs, different pasta dishes that we make including spaghetti, tacos, country style steak with gravy, and the vast assortment of food we have for breakfast/lunch/dinner....without listing it all out. You get the idea....we are not picky eaters and have many different things for our meals.

How can I stop this madness? I know I was a picky eater as a child and I grew out of it!  Being the youngest of 6, Mom didn't make special meals for each child. We ate what we got and that was it. I need to get to that, but the transition won't be easy. 

Help!


----------



## Trickster

Not like steak & gravy??? and being from the south? that's a crime!


----------



## Mavash.

I'm so OVER this. I was a picky eater and I felt my parents tortured me with the whole 'this is what's for dinner so eat it or go hungry' mentality. And like you I outgrew it. 

I have 3 kids and while I'm not a short order cook I do take their likes into consideration when making meals. If nothing else I'll serve bread, mac-n-cheese, or offer them a sandwich if they don't like the main dish.

And you know what? My laid back attitude has paid off. My older two have gotten better about eating and like you I'm just left with a picky 7 year old. LOL

I believe it's up to the kids to decide what they will eat. My job is to provide well balanced meals and stock the kitchen with healthy options. What they choose to put in their bodies isn't up to me. I can encourage but that's about it. Even treats. They've learned through natural consequences that overeating junk makes them sick so they moderate themselves. It's very cool!


----------



## Trickster

My daughter can win the record on being a picky eater


----------



## Trickster

If you think you are crazy, jeez. the things we do to get our daughter to eat is total madness.


----------



## underwater2010

Be happy that she does like a variety of other things. Try and stock some of that in the house. Teach her to make mac n cheese or just keep her favorite fruits and veggies stocked. If she doesn't like what you make for dinner, then she can eat a banana. It is not going to kill her and she will probably out grow this.

The only time I think you should worry is when it is limited to chicken nuggets like my nephew.


----------



## southern wife

Already Gone said:


> Not like steak & gravy??? and being from the south? that's a crime!


:iagree: :wtf:


----------



## Trickster

As Bill would say “I feel your pain”.

Our 9 year old daughter seems to have sensory issues along with a fear of new foods. 

For a typical dinner, she will have chicken, oatmeal, squash, raspberries, blackberries, banana, broccoli….

The problem is that we have to blenderize it so she can drink it…As a baby, she would never eat no matter what we did. She wasn’t putting on weight and she was soooo skinny. The doctors wouldn’t really listen, so we did what we had to do. So for some strange reason, if we put her food in a blender, she would drink dinner. Now at 9 years old, you would think she would outgrow this….all the b-day parties she goes to and still doesn’t want to try pizza. I don’t get it. Chicken nuggets? Out of the queston. Several YEARS ago I made her eat a nugget from McDonalds and she still remembers that.


I don't want to tell you to do that. If it's veggies you want het to eat, add raw veggies to a smoothie.

Still, it's more important to eat food. For us, it is soo hard to visit friends for dinner.


----------



## southern wife

underwater2010 said:


> Be happy that she does like a variety of other things. Try and stock some of that in the house. Teach her to make mac n cheese or just keep her favorite fruits and veggies stocked. If she doesn't like what you make for dinner, then she can eat a banana. It is not going to kill her and she will probably out grow this.
> 
> The only time I think you should worry is when it is limited to chicken nuggets like my nephew.


I do stock her favs in the house. I'm just trying to cut down/out the making of 2 different meals. Maybe we should just start eating chicken nuggets with her! :rofl:


----------



## southern wife

Already Gone said:


> As Bill would say “I feel your pain”.
> 
> Our 9 year old daughter seems to have sensory issues along with a fear of new foods.
> 
> For a typical dinner, she will have chicken, oatmeal, squash, raspberries, blackberries, banana, broccoli….
> 
> The problem is that we have to blenderize it so she can drink it…As a baby, she would never eat no matter what we did. She wasn’t putting on weight and she was soooo skinny. The doctors wouldn’t really listen, so we did what we had to do. So for some strange reason, if we put her food in a blender, she would drink dinner. Now at 9 years old, you would think she would outgrow this….all the b-day parties she goes to and still doesn’t want to try pizza. I don’t get it. Chicken nuggets? Out of the queston. Several YEARS ago I made her eat a nugget from McDonalds and she still remembers that.
> 
> 
> I don't want to tell you to do that. If it's veggies you want het to eat, add raw veggies to a smoothie.
> 
> Still, it's more important to eat food. For us, it is soo hard to visit friends for dinner.


Wow what an ordeal.  Sorry you have to go through that. A friend of mine's little girl had food issues and they did some food therapy with her. It worked and she's now eating many different things. She's now 3.

My girl has tried oatmeal and does not like it. 

She will eat raw carrots dipped in Ranch dressing.


----------



## southern wife

She tried a piece of spinach the other night and said it looked like leaves. I told her she was right and that it was good for her, but she just wrinkled up her nose at it.


----------



## Trickster

We did have her in therapy. They just told us she was a picky eater. 

The story below fits our daughter to a T...

We did call them to get more info. It was something like $1000 a day. The parents are part of the therapy too. I think in the story it took several weeks to get the girl to take a bite of pizza.

Who the heck has to force/bribe a child to eat pizza? "If you take a bite of pizza, you can have some chocolate..."

My wife and I actually started eating pizza once a week to encourage her to want to try it. It's been a year now and she still has no desire to even try a slice...


We also add spinach to her smoothies. Whats funny is that our daughter knows exactly what in it and she drinks it.

Your doing great Southern Wife. It's good that you put new food in front of her and at least she will try it. eventually she may like you pasta dishes.
Fear of Food | Video - ABC News


----------



## southern wife

Already Gone said:


> Your doing great Southern Wife. It's good that you put new food in front of her and at least she will try it. eventually she may like you pasta dishes.
> Fear of Food | Video - ABC News


You're probably right and thanks for your input. I'm just really trying to cook ONE meal....for all of us. 

She did try, and likes, cauliflower with cheese. Maybe I should just put cheese on everything for her!  She'll go to the fridge and get some shredded cheese and eat it!


----------



## Saki

I deal with this at home too.

An observation I've made in skimming this thread is this:

It appears no matter what approach the parent takes, the child remains a picky eatter...until they aren't.

Therefore I'm concluding that the best approach, as a parent, is whatever approach is less stressful/draining to the parent. The child seems unaffected by the approach, on the other hand the parent seems to be much more concerns/stressed/upset/drained. So fix the problem by focusing on making the parent's life easier. 

Practice acceptance, recognize this is out of the parent's control....


----------



## Lon

southern wife said:


> My 7 year old daughter is a picky eater. I always told myself that I would not be the type of parent that did the "different meals" thing for her and us. But day after day I find myself doing just that.
> 
> She will only eat mac & cheese, hotdogs/corn dogs, plain cheeseburger *ONLY* from McDonalds, cheese pizza, grilled cheese sammich, chicken nuggets or strips and the occassional chicken leg, ham, bacon, grits, certain cereals with NO milk, green beans, broccoli with cheese, rice, the occassional waffles or pancakes, corn on the cob (the only way she'll eat corn), cheese quesadillas, peaches, bananas, strawberries.....I'm trying to think of other things. :scratchhead:
> 
> Granted she will eat different things, I just don't think it's enough. She is pretty good at trying new and different things, but usually does not like them.
> 
> I cannot get her to eat things we eat like lasagna, cheeseburgers we make at home, eggs, different pasta dishes that we make including spaghetti, tacos, country style steak with gravy, and the vast assortment of food we have for breakfast/lunch/dinner....without listing it all out. You get the idea....we are not picky eaters and have many different things for our meals.
> 
> How can I stop this madness? I know I was a picky eater as a child and I grew out of it!  Being the youngest of 6, Mom didn't make special meals for each child. We ate what we got and that was it. I need to get to that, but the transition won't be easy.
> 
> Help!


wow, your DD is a lot less picky than my DS! He won't eat any kind of assembled food, no quality meals, no cooked vegetables. I can get healthy food into him, it just has to be a certain way...

So I often make two suppers because *I* want to eat something tasty once in awhile. And I too was a VERY picky eater as a child, when my parents tried to outstubborn me I went on a week long hunger strike and they nearly had to put my in the hospital - instead they just put some hotdogs and carrot sticks in front of me and I was as content as could be again.

So I know trying to force him into something just won't do anything but make my life unnecessarily difficult, so I will continue trying to mix up his daily serving of raw veggies, chicken nuggets, grilled cheese and fruit. When he gets on a streak of something new I will appreciate it while it lasts and he decides to quit that particular food.


----------



## southern wife

I guess you're right, Lon (mark your calendar! :rofl: ) J/K!!

Perhaps I'm worrying over nothing and eventually we'll be down to one meal for all of us. In the meantime, I'll be thankful that she does eat a pretty good variety, and chalk it up to "she'll grow out of it"!


----------



## wiigirl

Already Gone said:


> Not like steak & gravy??? and being from the south? that's a crime!


Seriously!


----------



## Lon

southern wife said:


> I guess you're right, Lon (mark your calendar! :rofl: ) J/K!!
> 
> Perhaps I'm worrying over nothing and eventually we'll be down to one meal for all of us. In the meantime, I'll be thankful that she does eat a pretty good variety, and chalk it up to "she'll grow out of it"!


Mark my calendar? It's already premarked for every day, I'm always right.

Yes it is no fun not having a kid that will sit down for a cohesive family meal like the kind perfect tv families have.


----------



## turnera

They'll eat if they get hungry enough.


----------



## turnera

My H tried to sneak DD the PB&J after I told her if she wasn't eating, she'd go to bed without dinner. I intercepted. She had to try one bite of everything on her plate - according to her doctor, more than enough to give her the required nutrition. She has always at least tried everything - or else she went to bed without dinner. Today she'll eat anything from sushi to BBQ to chicken nuggets.


----------



## MrsOldNews

I was one of the pickiest eaters I've ever known growing up. My parents tried everything under the realm of positive and negative reinforcement. Nothing worked. I too would starve myself given the choice of eating what's on my plate or nothing at all.

I also would try something before deciding if I thought it was awful or not. Most times I thought AWFUL!!!!
Growing up I expanded my pallet a great deal. For instance I love sushi even the wild stuff. Love Indian and Thai food and have trued and loved many exotic foods.

I never grew out of hating many foods I grew up with though such as meatloaf, goulash, macaroni salad, Any pig product besides bacon. Peanut butter, chocolate and the list goes on and on.

However I love all fruits and veggies, Fish, Chicken and many many foods that are very healthy. I'm still a picky eater by definition buy I enjoy a great variety of foods now and will still try anything once.

For your laughs here's a few foods I hated growing up...
-Ribs
-anything with barbecue sauce
-Any kind of gravy
- Almost all kinds of fish 
-Sour cream and cream cheese
- Peanut butter (but I loved peanuts)
- Any cooked vegetables (I only ate raw)
- Spinach, kale, collard greens, okra and asparagus

For the record I like all those things now except peanut butter


----------



## Lon

turnera said:


> They'll eat if they get hungry enough.


Nope. As a kid I very clearly remember that no amount of hunger was going to get me to eat something I didn't want to eat. I literally would have sooner starved to death than eat mushroom soup, broccoli, anything with sauce etc. my parents decided to break my pickiness by refusing to offer me even one thing they knew I'd like to pick off the plate, went a week straight, lost almost 15 lbs (i was only 7 or 8).

same with visits to relatives and such, was pretty common for me to do 3 day fasts, based purely on stubbornness.


----------



## Trickster

Lon said:


> Nope. As a kid I very clearly remember that no amount of hunger was going to get me to eat something I didn't want to eat. I literally would have sooner starved to death than eat mushroom soup, broccoli, anything with sauce etc. my parents decided to break my pickiness by refusing to offer me even one thing they knew I'd like to pick off the plate, went a week straight, lost almost 15 lbs (i was only 7 or 8).
> 
> same with visits to relatives and such, was pretty common for me to do 3 day fasts, based purely on stubbornness.


Don't want to HJ thread... This is what happened to our Daughter.

She was 3 or so years old and we took her home-made veggie drink away and tried to get her to eat just ONE chicken nugget. She went a week without eating. except for grapes, rasins, apples...mostly fruit. She was starving to death and we had to make her veggie drink with added chicken all blended up... We haven't tried that again.

It is more important to have peace at the table than a fight. At least we know she is getting very health food in her tummy. Even if it is all blended up.

What changed with you Lon?


----------



## In_The_Wind

southern wife said:


> My 7 year old daughter is a picky eater. I always told myself that I would not be the type of parent that did the "different meals" thing for her and us. But day after day I find myself doing just that.
> 
> She will only eat mac & cheese, hotdogs/corn dogs, plain cheeseburger *ONLY* from McDonalds, cheese pizza, grilled cheese sammich, chicken nuggets or strips and the occassional chicken leg, ham, bacon, grits, certain cereals with NO milk, green beans, broccoli with cheese, rice, the occassional waffles or pancakes, corn on the cob (the only way she'll eat corn), cheese quesadillas, peaches, bananas, strawberries.....I'm trying to think of other things. :scratchhead:
> 
> Granted she will eat different things, I just don't think it's enough. She is pretty good at trying new and different things, but usually does not like them.
> 
> I cannot get her to eat things we eat like lasagna, cheeseburgers we make at home, eggs, different pasta dishes that we make including spaghetti, tacos, country style steak with gravy, and the vast assortment of food we have for breakfast/lunch/dinner....without listing it all out. You get the idea....we are not picky eaters and have many different things for our meals.
> 
> How can I stop this madness? I know I was a picky eater as a child and I grew out of it!  Being the youngest of 6, Mom didn't make special meals for each child. We ate what we got and that was it. I need to get to that, but the transition won't be easy.
> 
> Help!


Sounds just like my 8 yoa and yes we have had several stare downs especially when it comes to Green Beans which she hates I believe it is the age


----------



## Gaia

Lol I dont mind making different meals and in fact I always try to get something everyone will like. What works for me is letting the picky one eat what she wants and when she sees everyone else eating something different... She tries it. Of course my daughter eats ramen, chicken nuggets, toquitos, fresh fruits and veggies, and nuts. For a couple of years she only ate fresh fruits, veggies, and nuts.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Switch to the organic versions, unadulterated. Most of those foods have addictive stuff in them. Plus it engages the parts of the brain and floods them, that react to the addictive stuff. The brain gets used to the super-flavored artificial stuff and loses its ability to detect other food that tastes good. 

My kids have been on a vegan diet for 2 weeks now and they are eating things I never would have thought. They said that everything tastes so much better and they have more energy. Additionally, they are more apt to try new stuff (avocado, for instance) than before. Yesterday I made them vegan pumpkin bread pudding. They absolutely loved it.

I think for your daughter the best thing to do is to switch to the organic versions first, then slowly start adding new/different foods. You might also want to consider if she has allergies, because certain foods will taste bad if you have allergies. For instance, when my allergies were at their worst, even organic granny smith apples tasted like someone had coated them with a very nasty toxic substance!

I'm fairly lenient. For instance, this morning I got up and made them homemade baking soda biscuits, put the honey, compote/jam, and vegan spread on the table, along with some vanilla rice milk, and let them have at it. For lunch they got three-color rotini and vegan parm cheese substitute, vegan chocolate cupcakes, some of the pumpkin bread pudding. Dinner they are eating out, my guess is that they might get something non-vegan, or they might insist on getting vegetable-only pan-fried dumplings and green beans at the Chinese restaurant. (They're with their dad.) Stuff doesn't have to taste bad to be healthy.


----------



## Lon

Already Gone said:


> Don't want to HJ thread... This is what happened to our Daughter.
> 
> She was 3 or so years old and we took her home-made veggie drink away and tried to get her to eat just ONE chicken nugget. She went a week without eating. except for grapes, rasins, apples...mostly fruit. She was starving to death and we had to make her veggie drink with added chicken all blended up... We haven't tried that again.
> 
> It is more important to have peace at the table than a fight. At least we know she is getting very health food in her tummy. Even if it is all blended up.
> 
> What changed with you Lon?


For me I remained picky but my repertoire of new foods slowly increased. Once I finally got the taste for red meat my menu choices opened up a lot, but it wasnt really until I was living on my own in university paying my own way through that I could begin to palette a lot of the old foods I couldn't. Probably a lot of it was getting tired of bland foods, but also I think as you age the sensitivity to flavors and textures diminishes and changes the kind of food you prefer.

But when I was younger the best approach my parents took was not making a big deal out of food. a lot of it has to do with trust too, assembled meals means there could be hidden ingredients... for my son, his mom and I tried really early on to train his palette, but I think it is something we each have to train ourselves to do. It is about having a comfort zone and not feeling like you are being pushed out of it, but rather expanding it at our own pace.

And one other thing I have noticed, is that most of the times my repertoire expanded was when I was starved and too hungry to not worry if a mushroom is touching the steak. I also found that when I made my own foods I had control over what went in it and felt more comfortable experimenting.


----------



## turnera

That's what I did - not making a big deal out of food. You don't want this? Fine. What are we doing for the rest of the night? You're hungry? Ok, your plate is still on the counter, you're free to eat anything you want on it. No? Ok, well, the rest of us are playing Uno.

She ate, eventually. She won't starve herself, as long as you don't make it a power struggle.


----------



## Lon

turnera said:


> That's what I did - not making a big deal out of food. You don't want this? Fine. What are we doing for the rest of the night? You're hungry? Ok, your plate is still on the counter, you're free to eat anything you want on it. No? Ok, well, the rest of us are playing Uno.
> 
> She ate, eventually. She won't starve herself, as long as you don't make it a power struggle.


yeah definitely, my son will eat eventually but only if it is a food that he knows (there are things he "won't eat" and then there are things he "won't eat this time"). When he leaves his food he becomes very difficult to deal with, but I persist and enforce the rules, however it is emotionally exhausting. Being consistent goes a long way, but as firm as I can stay, he will still inevitably try chipping away at me. His mom seems to have an easier time, emotionally, being firm with him, but he knows her words have a little more bite to them in the form of spankings.


----------



## EleGirl

What I have read/heard is that over a period of days kids will eat a mix of things that will give them the nutrition they need. Parents just need to give them choices.

From experience it's not worth fighting. Just provide her with a mix of things and let her pick and choose.

When my kids went through picky phases, I just had a healthy variety of food for them to pick from.

My parents did the thing where we had to eat what they put on our plates and we had to eat ALL that was on our plates. Then my mom would serve large portions. It set up very bad eating habits that I had to unlearn.


----------



## EleGirl

Also keep in mind that children's taste buds are much more acute than those of adults. 

I remember when I was a kid my mom would serve us cooked bell peppers & onions and avocado (raw). The taste was so strong that I could not stand them. They were horrible.

As an adult they are some of my favorite foods. I eat them at least once a week. But I remember what they tasted like when I was a child. They do not taste that strong any more.


----------



## turnera

DD22's taste buds (preferences) change at least every 6 months. Nowadays her favorite food is spinach, and she wouldn't touch it 6 months ago.


----------



## Lyris

It's a bit frustrating making meal after meal at night to have it rejected, but I'm trying not to get emotional about it.

If mine don't like what's on offer they can have a sandwich, a banana, some yoghurt - whatever is around that's easy. I also try to have at least something that everyone likes.

My little one loves plain pasta and rice, so that's easy. My big girl doesn't like either, unless the rice is part of sushi. She loves eggs though. 

I don't get the refusing to let them eat something else if they don't want what you've cooked. How is that not a power struggle? I'm an early childhood teacher and I've known plenty of children who certainly will refuse to eat until their blood sugar drops to a level where they are irritable, irrational and *can't* eat. Leaving a plate of food on the counter wouldn't do sh8t to make my 3 year old eat. 

And what's the point of forcing it? She'll widen her repetoir when she wants to, and if she doesn't, so what? Adults have all kinds of food quirks that you never notice, because they can choose and prepare their own food. Children can't.

To the poster who's daughter will only eat puree'd food, does she have sensory issues? It sounds like it, that's quite extreme. She may benefit from general sensory therapy.


----------



## Lon

Lyris said:


> I don't get the refusing to let them eat something else if they don't want what you've cooked. How is that not a power struggle?


My son would malnurish himself on goldfish if I let him pick what he wanted to eat. It is a "power struggle" that I will not let him win, because I love him and his health and nutrition is a basic need that I am responsible for.

I give him choices and I don't force him to eat anything against his will, nor deny him healthy alternatives - if he has a food request I will incorporate that into his next meal items, but as for the food I just put on the table, those are his choices for this meal.


----------



## Anonymous07

I grew up with the "this is what is for dinner; eat it or starve" type parenting and it worked for me. I always hated a number of foods, but I didn't have a choice to eat any other foods I wanted, so I had to eat what was available. My siblings and I today will eat just about anything, the same with my husband and his siblings who grew up with the same lifestyle. That is completely different from my cousin who was a picky eater as a child and her mom catered to her food preferences. She is still a very picky eater to this day as an adult and now does this for her daughter who is a picky eater.


----------



## Saki

Anonymous07 said:


> She is still a very picky eater to this day as an adult and now does this for her daughter who is a picky eater.


And really, is that such a bad thing?

Maybe it's not for you, and if she is willing to put up with the hassles that accompany picky eatting, then does it really matter? Is this person not capable of being a productive member of society due to this?


----------



## southern wife

turnera said:


> That's what I did - not making a big deal out of food. You don't want this? Fine. What are we doing for the rest of the night? You're hungry? Ok, your plate is still on the counter, you're free to eat anything you want on it. No? Ok, well, the rest of us are playing Uno.
> 
> She ate, eventually. She won't starve herself, as long as you don't make it a power struggle.


:iagree: For example, if my daughter knows some sweet treats are in the house (like ice cream, cookies, etc.), which isn't very often, she will only eat a minimum amount of lunch or dinner and leave alot on her plate. Fine. So I put the plate on the counter for later knowing if 15 minutes she'll be "still hungry" and want those sweet treats. But I offer her the dinner plate back and tell her that if she eats it, she'll get a treat. Usually does the trick.


----------



## southern wife

Anonymous07 said:


> I grew up with the "this is what is for dinner; eat it or starve" type parenting and it worked for me. I always hated a number of foods, but I didn't have a choice to eat any other foods I wanted, so I had to eat what was available. My siblings and I today will eat just about anything, the same with my husband and his siblings who grew up with the same lifestyle.


Yep, same here!


----------



## meson

There are foods kids have complete aversion towards. When I was young it was eggs after having the flu once. My daughter could detect peanut butter in anything we made and avoided it. 

I think the trick is to recognize the true aversions but foster trying new things by tasting. Our rule has been that you need to try it but don't need to eat it all. Sometimes this led to not eating at all but most of the time they would nibble and move on to other things on the plate. 

We always have at least three components to the meal so there was usually something they would eat.. We also vary what we eat a lot so there is not much repetition. 

When it was clear that they truly didn't like something we would find a substitute for that course and provide something else if possible. Our youngest was the most picky and once he saw that we accommodated his worst dislikes he became less confrontative. We also tried to show him techniques like using small bites and swallowing more quickly with food he didn't like and eating it first. 

Each of our kids went through a picky stage our youngest the most. But they have each said that they becamame accustomed to foods they didn't like at first through the small exposures. 

Our daughter came back from college for Christmas with a surprise, she was eating peanut butter. Our youngest who hated steak and had even had a seizure while eating some once enjoyed pepper steak last Sunday. 

What is interesting is that one of our kids friends is an extremely picky eater. His mom talks about it all the time and gives him only what he will agree to try. But when he comes to our house he eats nearly everything. It is this interaction which causes me to beleive that his pickiness is really him training his mom to give him what he wants. His moms rants are very similar to the extreme cases mentioned on this thread.


----------



## southern wife

meson said:


> What is interesting is that one of our kids friends is an extremely picky eater. His mom talks about it all the time and gives him only what he will agree to try. But when he comes to our house he eats nearly everything. It is this interaction which causes me to beleive that his pickiness is really him training his mom to give him what he wants. His moms rants are very similar to the extreme cases mentioned on this thread.


I know all about that. For instance, my kid's school offers tacos, chicken & dumplings and things like that. And she'll eat them and says she likes them. But when I make those things that her school makes, she won't eat it.


----------



## Anonymous07

Saki said:


> And really, is that such a bad thing?
> 
> Maybe it's not for you, and if she is willing to put up with the hassles that accompany picky eatting, then does it really matter? Is this person not capable of being a productive member of society due to this?


Yes, it is a bad thing. I think it's unhealthy, in many aspects, as she won't eat many fruits or vegetables. Sure, she is a productive member of society, but she is only ruining her own health and now the health of her daughter. You really want to eat a wide variety of fruits and vegetables to stay healthy, which will help you avoid many cancers and other diseases. 

My cousin's daughter knows exactly how to manipulate her into getting what she wants and will pretend to throw up if she is forced to eat something she doesn't like. Her mom would then cater to her and give her what ever she asks for that she will eat. That's not healthy and many times, she would only eat very processed, unhealthy foods.


----------



## ATC529R

my daughter asks for one thing....then says no she does not like it. lol

very frustrating. especially breakfast when time is an issue


----------



## meson

southern wife said:


> I know all about that. For instance, my kid's school offers tacos, chicken & dumplings and things like that. And she'll eat them and says she likes them. But when I make those things that her school makes, she won't eat it.


LOL! I did that also. I liked the schools spanish rice but didn't like my moms. I preferred badly cooked Spanish rice and still do. But it was only that and not several things.


----------



## Trickster

Lyris said:


> To the poster who's daughter will only eat puree'd food, does she have sensory issues? It sounds like it, that's quite extreme. She may benefit from general sensory therapy.


Yes, she does/did has sensory issues. She would panic if she got her hands dirty, even from mashed potatoes. I don't remember if she EVER played with food. And sand from the beach? geez. I worked with her for so many hours to get her past that. So when we took her for therapy, she passed all the "sensory" test because all the work that I was doing. 

As a baby, she would never advance to #2 baby food, nor even grab food from our plate. She never even wanted her formula unless it was cold. So now all the food she eats is cold...mostly fruit or snacks. Then of course the "smoothie" which is cold and has everything in it: chicken, spinach, broccoli, squash, oatmeal, banana, raspberries, blackberries, extra virgin olive oil for fat, a wee bit of salt, and stevia for taste...Sounds delicious doesn't it?

I joke and tell her she will grow up to be a chef. She just has to try new foods so she can develop her taste buds. In the meantime, I know she eat (drinks) healthy food and she is at a healthy weight. 

I want to take her to Disneyland and at this rate, we can't go until she can eat "normal" food.


----------



## Trickster

meson said:


> What is interesting is that one of our kids friends is an extremely picky eater. His mom talks about it all the time and gives him only what he will agree to try. But when he comes to our house he eats nearly everything. It is this interaction which causes me to believe that his pickiness is really him training his mom to give him what he wants. His moms rants are very similar to the extreme cases mentioned on this thread.


I will agree to this to a point. When our Daughter visits friends for a sleepover, she doesn't eat what is being served. MAYBE she knows we will be there soon to pick her up, so she will wait until she gets home. 

I know now we could have done so many different things to help her eat. I don't really know. What makes this different is that our daughter has never even tried to eat prepared food/meals...even mac & cheese.

I do know many other parents with an only child and they are all pick eaters. All of our daughters friends (most) are picky eaters and they are an only child. So you're right...The parents play a huge role in this.


----------



## Trickster

southern wife said:


> I guess you're right, Lon (mark your calendar! :rofl: ) J/K!!
> 
> Perhaps I'm worrying over nothing and eventually we'll be down to one meal for all of us. In the meantime, I'll be thankful that she does eat a pretty good variety, and chalk it up to "she'll grow out of it"!


You don't know much I would LOVE IT if my Daughter would eat a McDonalds chicken nugget. I think I would cry from happiness! "come on baby...if you eat this chicken nugget, I will buy you some dippin dots" I did that. What parents have to bribe their child to eat a nugget?

SW....She will grow out of this.


----------



## Lyris

It's really natural for young kids to be picky eaters. It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. Sweet things are less likely to be poisonous for example. And only wanting familiar food would have helped in the stone age too.

My brother was super picky as a child and eats everything now. Most picky eaters will grow out of it, unless they have true sensory issues.

The less attention you pay the better. And for those saying they grew up with eat-it-or-starve and it made them less picky adults, that's not necessarily true. Your taste buds mature, things taste less strong as you get older. Also, many many children have sensory aversions that disappear naturally as they get older. So even if your parents had catered to you a bit more, you probably still would have grown out of the pickiness.


----------



## southern wife

Already Gone said:


> You don't know much I would LOVE IT if my Daughter would eat a McDonalds chicken nugget. I think I would cry from happiness! "come on baby...if you eat this chicken nugget, I will buy you some dippin dots" I did that. What parents have to bribe their child to eat a nugget?
> 
> *SW....She will grow out of this.*


Thank you for this! 

And thanks for everyone that contributed to my thread. I love reading all the different stories and sharing experiences.


----------



## happysnappy

I have 4 kids. One of which is picky. Not as picky as your daughter but hates veggies or so she says. She is 9. I have tired of fighting. Instead I give her the option to eat what I have offered or make something for herself. Whatever she makes must include protein a fruit and a veggie. She cannot have bread and butter rather than dinner. It has worked well and the consequence to not eating what I have cooked is on her not me.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8

Already Gone said:


> As Bill would say “I feel your pain”.
> 
> Our 9 year old daughter seems to have sensory issues along with a fear of new foods.
> 
> For a typical dinner, she will have chicken, oatmeal, squash, raspberries, blackberries, banana, broccoli….
> 
> The problem is that we have to blenderize it so she can drink it…As a baby, she would never eat no matter what we did. She wasn’t putting on weight and she was soooo skinny. The doctors wouldn’t really listen, so we did what we had to do. So for some strange reason, if we put her food in a blender, she would drink dinner. Now at 9 years old, you would think she would outgrow this….all the b-day parties she goes to and still doesn’t want to try pizza. I don’t get it. Chicken nuggets? Out of the queston. Several YEARS ago I made her eat a nugget from McDonalds and she still remembers that.
> 
> 
> I don't want to tell you to do that. If it's veggies you want het to eat, add raw veggies to a smoothie.
> 
> Still, it's more important to eat food. For us, it is soo hard to visit friends for dinner.


Perhaps you could try gradually making a thicker smoothie, with fewer combined ingredients. The "chunks" of food might start to recondition her to eating whole food again.

My daughter eats like a champ and tries almost everything. My son is a picky eater. While I always make sure there's something he'll eat (usually an intentionally small portion), I still serve him whatever I'm eating (usually simplified / separated / unseasoned etc) on his plate. If he wants more of *his* food, he has to take a bite of *my* food. That way he eats something and every meal is giving him opportunties. Once in awhile he'll eat something new, most of the time it just goes to the dog.

I've also found that intentionally serving only a bite or two of the food he won't eat and rewarding him for eating them works pretty well. He now eats salmon and a few other things as a result. We make a game of it, and I don't make a big deal if he doesn't eat.

But there are absolutely no snacks if he chooses not to eat/try any of the real food.


----------



## turnera

One of the best things I ever heard, as a way to get kids to eat leftovers (but you could incorporate it other ways), was a woman who would print out a menu each day of options (which would be recipes made from those leftovers, but the kids didn't know that), and the kids could choose from the menu. They loved getting to do that, and she got to use the leftovers.


----------



## Corpuswife

Picky eaters generally grow out of it! Maybe not all of the way but they start varying their choices.

I always told my picky son...if you don't eat, you are welcome to eat any fruit or vegetable in the fridge.


----------



## Lyris

Lots of kids do hit a picky stage, tending to start somewhere btw 18 months and 3 years. It's normal and really common.

Your son may or may not do something like that. I don't think there's much you can do to avoid it if it's coming. Just acknowledge that it might, and ride it out.

My older daughter ate everything until she was about 2, then she got very suspicious of anything she hadn't eaten recently, as in during the previous few days.

Now she is nearly six and has developed very definite preferences, likes and dislikes over the past year or so. For example, she doesn't like breakfast cereal, pasta or rice, unless it's as a part of sushi. She's not crazy about sweet stuff generally, except for some kinds of chocolate and ice cream. She chose sushi over a cupcake recently at the shopping centre. 

She loves chips, nuggets, etc. Anything crunchy and salty. 

My 3 year old on the other hand loves plain pasta, plain rice and anything sweet. She's my carb girl, although she doesn't really go for bread, sandwiches or toast. 

They're both big fruit-lovers and pretty good with a lot of vegetables.

Enjoy the food quirks if they come. They won't be around forever.


----------



## Miss Taken

I think everyone is allowed to have their dislikes. I know there are foods, that won't ever have the privilege of gracing my palette once again. However, I think it's best to keep offering or making them try the food (just a bite) they don't like as eventually they might learn to like it. If she still doesn't like what's on the menu, at seven, she's probably got the dexterity to make a PB&J (or another kind of sandwich). 

I try to cook what my kids/family like to eat but there are still some things I like and kids don't. We make those on occasion and if that's the case, it's sandwiches or something easy for them and the main course for everyone else. 

If she's really that picky, I would also make sure to give a multi-vitamin every day just to supplement what she might be missing out on.


----------



## turnera

DD22 has gone through a couple dozen 'favorites' over the years. Her current favorite thing is spinach, so we've learned how to make saute'd spinach, creamed spinach, spinach salad, etc. Last year it was something else.


----------



## GTdad

In my brood I have or had 2 or 3 picky eaters. Our solution has been to tell them to make themselves a sandwich. A 7 year old is not too young to make themselves a PB&J. 

We don't treat it as a big deal, although we do impose one consequence: no dessert or sweets for the rest of the evening.


----------



## southern wife

GTdad said:


> In my brood I have or had 2 or 3 picky eaters. Our solution has been to tell them to make themselves a sandwich. A 7 year old is not too young to make themselves a PB&J.
> 
> We don't treat it as a big deal, although we do impose one consequence: no dessert or sweets for the rest of the evening.


I like that. Yep, mine can make her own sammies.


----------



## VermisciousKnid

Don't turn eating in to a power struggle. But also don't make unhealthy foods available at any time. My kids would snack between meals on chips or cookies if given a chance, but we only had fruit, veggies, crackers, and cheese available. No soda. McDonalds NEVER. So even if they did a less than stellar job at dinner we knew they had nibbled good stuff during the day. 

Of course, if you like the junk food yourself, it's tough to keep the kids away...


----------



## VermisciousKnid

Google "supertasters" for an explanation of how some people actually perceive taste differently. It isn't always that someone is a picky eater. They might actually get a different taste from foods than most people. Another thing that's interesting is that there's a genetic component to taste. For example, cilantro tastes fresh to some people but dirty and soapy to others. It's due to the genes of the taster.


----------



## turnera

Yep. Cilantro is my absolute favorite taste, and DH says it tastes like soap.

Does that talk about the number of taste buds on your tongue? I read about that once.


----------



## YinPrincess

Already Gone said:


> Our 9 year old daughter seems to have sensory issues along with a fear of new foods.


If you have a Facebook account there is a support group for parents of children with SPD that contains A LOT of advice and information. I can see if I can post a link to it.

I'm an adult with SPD and I have ALWAYS been weird about food. Thankfully I had a mom who would help me and accommodate me and I'm much better about it now. 

I hope this link works, I am not very good at posting them from my phone...

http://m.facebook.com/sensoryprocessingdisorderparentsupport?refid=28&_ft_=qid.5832297687035596072%3Amf_story_key.-2444979006878794800

The group is called Sensory Processing Disorder Parent Support.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## VermisciousKnid

turnera said:


> Yep. Cilantro is my absolute favorite taste, and DH says it tastes like soap.
> 
> Does that talk about the number of taste buds on your tongue? I read about that once.


No, at least not in the article I read. I'm not a genetics guy, so if this explanation is wrong you may sue me. Your genes control how the chemical receptors in your taste buds respond to various chemicals. Cilantro has a pretty unique chemical compound in it that many people perceive as soapy. It's also a genetic thing with the 'supertasters'. They seem to have more receptors so sweet things are too sweet and spicy things are too spicy. I don't know if that translates to more taste buds or super taste buds. 

Interestingly, one article said that if you make the Cilantro into a pesto first, a lot of that chemical dissipates and the soapy cilantro person may be able to eat it without the soap flavor.


----------



## turnera

More receptors = more taste buds. I think I heard the same thing.

Scientists Explore the Workings of Taste Buds : NPR


----------

