# breakdown



## fadingaway (Apr 28, 2011)

My husband obsessively stares at other women/friends/coworkers/neighbors. I am not talking about an occasional brief glance at a passing stunning girl. I'm talking mouth open, non blinking, blunt staring until they are out of sight, locking eyes sometimes up to 30 sec eye contact and I am right there holding his hand, at a party, sitting next to him touching knees. It never ends. It's been 11 years. Once he even kissed me just to distract me for sec so he could look at the girls butt standing next to me. (I didn't close me eyes) He has hit on my friends in this same manner. He always makes these F Me eyes.
He is very attractive so the girls always respond in his favor. Of course he lies and denies but he will most of the time fess up and say that was wrong,he was being stupid, I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to lose you, It will never happen again, I'm trying to do better...blah blah blah. Although there is one moment he still won't admit to. Blondie on her balcony my husband staring up at her, mouth open, very still. Just staring point blank at each other. (He didn't know I was there) Says he was looking at the sky!?! 
We really have a great relationship otherwise and I do love him. I am slender, attractive. We constantly have sex and he comes home every night. Rarely have we been apart. I have access to all his passwords, phone, computer ect. I know he's not sleeping with anyone else. 
I can't handle his disrespect for me in public anymore, I can't handle his lies when it's so obvious. It makes me sick to my stomach how he has no regard for my presence. I am feeling very ugly and I am starting to look very rough from the emotional pain and the tears that fall from my face. I have begun to have horrible issues like I'm scared to walk down the street with him, nightmares of him cheating on me, I won't invite my friends over anymore.. I have writer's block because I am consumed with these memories and am too embarrassed to write about them. I am losing faith and feel so sad and stupid for not leaving him but I do love him, he does provide for me but I need to have his attention when we are out or this isn't going to work for me. I am sick of looking like his sister. I did tell him I was leaving and he said fine where ever you go I will move too (we have a baby girl together she's 8 weeks.) I just don't see how anything is going to change. I mean he's had chance after chance, year after year. I am ill at myself for even believing whole heartily that he would. I have lost my trust. I have become jealous and my self esteem has taken a big hit And now I am depressed with no one to talk to. And just so you know I did go to a psychotherapist regarding this a couple years ago and she said "you would not feel like this if the behavior wasn't continuing" and now the worst part of it all. ..... He has started tattooing from a shop so can you say 18 yr olds and trampstamps. 

Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.


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## luckyman (Apr 14, 2011)

Try reading your above post to him. From it, he will certainly be able to see that he is upsetting you. I can't explain his blatant disrespect. I guess some people allow themselves to ogle, while others will keep to themselves. 

Your husband doesn't need to stare the way he does. It sounds like he has developed a habit of doing so. 

If he knows it upsets you and he does it anyway, then this is not just about staring at other women.

It would really pi$$ me off if I ever caught my wife doing anything close to what your husband is doing.


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