# Lonely sometimes



## texas1992 (Dec 19, 2010)

I don't know where to go for help with this. I have met a woman online that I really connect with. We both live alone. She says that she really cares for me but we will go for days without talking. She says that she wants to take things slow so that we will build a base but how can we do this if we don't talk? Because of this I get anxious when I don't hear from her. I have learned to not force myself on her. In the past I did do that and it only caused problems.

I know that I should not rely on her to make me happy but how do I do this? I try to focus on the good things that we do when we do talk but it doesn't always work. How can I figure out why I get so anxious and how can I fix this problem?

Thanks.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Most likely you have very little you enjoy about life in general. When you find one person that makes you feel good of course you cling to her. of course you will fear losing her. but its not healthy. a healthy women will pull away from you. a healthy women will not want to be your comfort blanket. until you feel good being alone you will not have a good, long-lasting relationship. No one can handle this kind of dependency for very long.

Try to find other things you enjoy in life. get some goals. find a career you love and feel accomplished in. meet some other people that you can have a good time with.


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## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

Blanca said:


> Most likely you have very little you enjoy about life in general. When you find one person that makes you feel good of course you cling to her. of course you will fear losing her. but its not healthy. a healthy women will pull away from you. a healthy women will not want to be your comfort blanket. until you feel good being alone you will not have a good, long-lasting relationship. No one can handle this kind of dependency for very long.
> 
> Try to find other things you enjoy in life. get some goals. find a career you love and feel accomplished in. meet some other people that you can have a good time with.


Texas1992 Blanca: Sorry I have not advise Texas, but I just needed to make comment that what Blanca has stated above, has so hit home with me in a very large way!! In reading this I just realized, I do not have anyting in general I enjoy, other than my daughter and she needs to be dependnet on me at age 7, not me on her! Wow, such an eye opening in how this reads.

I hope you find that parrallell with this lady you've met to still enjoy one another and NOT be dependent on each other for what you feel is happiness. I"ve done that for too many years and now having to deal with the consquence of creating pain and heartache to the person I truly did love at one time. It's an extremely difficult thing. But I believe, if I would have started out with my own inner happiness....I would not be in this situation where I have been controlled and manipulated for many years. Good luck to you.


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