# What do you guys think of our marriage? Do we have issues?



## maydecember88 (Aug 4, 2010)

i believe true love is when a man is obsessed with you, when you have so much power over him you can make him do anything you want, he is your slave. my husband and i have been married for 2 years and we have an age diff -he is 47 and im 22. he is my provider and my mr. housewife.. he makes dinner and does the dishes after he gets home from work. the house is cleaned by the cleaners twice a week. i don't do the cooking or cleaning because 1. its boring. 2. i don't want to. 3. im not a maid or a cleaner. i don't like the idea of compromise in a relationship.. i always want my own way. i like being treated like a princess. if a man truly loves you, then he should be willing to do anything and everything for you.. growing up, this was the kind of relationship i had with my dad. i was an only child for 11 years and i was definitely a daddys girl. i had the best childhood. i was the center of my dads universe. he bought me everything i wanted and i could do anything i wanted. then my little sister came along and everything changed. i never adjusted to having a sister. i resented the fact that i had to share my parents especially my dads attention. in some ways, i feel like im emotionally stuck at 11 yrs old. i know im immature. my husband and i have a father daughter relationship.. i like being the boss of him. his personality is a lot like my dads.. he is passive and kind of submissive i guess.... he can be dominat when he gets angry but that totally freaks me out...we have the worst fights..i want him to do wahtever i say. when i want something, i want it now.. i usually throw things and break his stuff during arguments.. i threw a photo frame at him and it hit him on the ear and wehad to go to the doctor. ive also broken his cellphone, laptop, plates, dishes, vases, our glass sliding door (which took $2200 to fix). im jealous and possessive ofhim... it makes me so mad when he so much as looks at another women. ill give him the silent treatment for the rest of the day.. i want all of his attention ....i want to be the center of his universe...even though i make his life miserable, i love him more than anyting in the world.. im scared of him dieing, im scared of my parents dieing . i have nightmares about it.. if my husband is 5 mins late from work.. i will have a panic attack. not an actual one. i just get very anxious and start crying and imagining him in a car crash . i want him to be with me all the time. overall when we're not fighting we have a lot of fun together. i dont want to change the way i am though... the good and the bad parts of me..... i dont want him to change either. i know something has to happen though... because lately it seems we've been fighting more than usual. i just dont know what.. i dont want to go to marriage counselling.. been there.. done that. they always end up taking my husband's side and usually want me to "help out" around the house. i want to work on our relationship before we start thinking about having children... for some reason.. im not worried about him leaving me. it just doesnt seem like a possibility... i feel like he loves me too much do that and i love him too much to let that happen.... which is why im here... sorry this is sooo long.. i dont know why im posting here.. just wanted some advice. i'll dont know if i'l take it though


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

My first inclination as I read this was that you were a troll. Then as I read more, I thought you were serious. Now I think my first impression was right.

On the chance that you aren't a troll, I'll say this. You need to grow up. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Sooner or later he will get sick of your crap and leave. if this is what you want, continue as is.

Otherwise, get back to the marriage counselor and try to salvage the marriage before it sinks.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

Surely your story is completely false?

If not at least you are honest in being a spoiled "daddy's girl". Your father did you NO favor by raising you the way he did. He created a selfish person who probably has never had to fend for herself. The reason you are having these nightmares is because you have never had to depend on yourself, whether financially or emotionally and the very thought of this scares the hell out of you.

IMO your husband and your father need to not support you for a year, that will cure you of your dependency that you have. 

Also to answer your question yes your marriage does have problems, YOU!!! Once your H leaves (and eventually he will) maybe then will you realize how lucky you were and will not take love and marriage for granted again.

I submit that you should release him and allow him to find someone who is willing to be his partner 100/100 instead of 90/10, after all, you two are NOT on the same wavelength. If he truly liked being dominated he would NOT have any complaints, but he does!

I would not be saying this if you told us that your husband LIKES it this way at that point I would say "to each his own".


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Go get therapy on your own, that way they can't take sides.
One more thing. You have not told us the things you do for him? Your H may be going somewhere else to get what he needs? 
My spouse was submissive and did what ever I ask and when I confronted her on her affairs her excuse was "I needed something for me" I had no clue I thought she was so loyal and she treated me like a king the whole time. 
Talk about get blind sided WOW!


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Wow. That's all I can say. So, you basically have a temper tantrum everytime you don't get what you want. Yet, you are upset that the counselors you two see together take his "side". Lemme guess, everyone else is always wrong, you are always right? He should just kill himself trying to make you happy, even when it makes him miserable? If a man truly loves you and you truly love him you do things to make each other happy. You even admit that you want advice, but if it isn't what you want to hear, you aren't going to take it anyway. Hmmm. Something tells me you are going to have to learn to see past yourself before anything good can come of all this.


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

Dblkman is right on point. You need to grow up and realize that other people (especially men) don't exist simply to be your slave. That is NOT true love. True love is mutual and requires the partners to respect each other. You don't sound like you love or respect your husband.

You might get away with this when you are 22 and I'm guessing your husband is infatuated with you and likes having you in his bed. But eventually you will get to a point where he will grow tired of being your doormat.

The reason counselors always take his side is because you are in the wrong. You need serious help. You are correct that you are stuck at the emotional level of a child. Get help!


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## Crypsys (Apr 22, 2010)




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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

Crypsys - :rofl: and :smthumbup:


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## stalemate (May 13, 2010)

Seriously?? I am apalled by your behavior and don't understand why your husband or anyone would tolerate such.

Crypsys --awesome :rofl: and :smthumbup:


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