# Haven't had sex since September?



## musician2019 (Jan 5, 2020)

So, I'll try to keep this somewhat short and to the point. 
I'm a 28 year old male who is married to a 36 year old female.

We've been together for 3 and a half years. Only married for one of the years.
When we first got together in 2016 we had a decent sex life. We didn't hang out much due to work schedules, so we usually saw each other on the weekends.

Our sex life wasn't exactly amazing, and by that I mean we only did one position and no oral sex. I'm probably sounding like a pervert but oh well.
She is kinda picky on what she's open to, and that's her right. I mean, we all have things we probably wouldn't be interested in doing or trying.

Anyways...

We'd usually have sex once a week at that point. Granted I would have liked to have done more but it just didn't work out that way. As time passed we'd be having sex maybe once or twice a month at best. Usually just once a month though. 

I'd try different foreplay, romantic dates, flowers, chocolates, foot massages, and heck I'd even ask what she would like from me. But she said she just wasn't feeling in the mood. 

So. at this point she starts bringing up wanting a baby. She wants to be a mom, and she doesn't care what I think she's gonna be a mom before she's 40.
I said to her okay I understand that..But I would like to be together awhile before kids come into the picture. She was furious.

Eventually she kind of let it go. Though I wasn't saying I never wanted kids I just wasn't dying for the chance to be a dad right away.

She then tells me she had miscarried before with her ex and she's still hurt by that. I of course was being understanding and comforted her.

Though, after that, she'd start talking about her ex all the time.
Usually in some way comparing me to her ex, or mentioning his kid and how she didn't get along with his kid. I don't know why I would hear about this all the time. Just was strange. I never really talk about my exes.

At this point, sex is pretty much non existent. So I thought maybe I could spice it up a bit, maybe she would be open to oral sex. Nope. 

I even went as far as waxing that area, shaving the rest, and showering multiple times a day. She just wouldn't have it. Not even me going down on her. 

She said her ex used to get it all the time from her, and she doesn't like it anymore. I guess he would be kinda gross down there and what not.

So I just let it go. Again with the ex thing.

As time passed on, she was kind of depressed and guilted me to marriage. 
Kept hinting If I loved her I'd give her a ring, being that time passed on and we were still together.

At this point we were arguing a lot, and I wasn't sure why. She would picks fight over everything I did or said. I couldn't go out with my friends or alone, or even relax with her flipping on me.

So I thought if I proposed maybe being married wouldn't be so bad. Maybe she'd turn around and things would be better. I know how dumb I must sound.


We got married. We still had no sex. Plus now I was super stressed working 6 days a week, and paying off wedding stuff because her parents didn't bother helping with anything.

As time passed she moved in with me, and things got worse.
She doesn't pick up after herself. She doesn't help me cook.
She doesn't help me shop, and she doesn't even offer any help.

I do the dishes every night after work, I cook the dinner, and I do all the shopping and bill paying. She doesn't help with anything.

I know I'm side tracked on that now, sorry but that's an issue too.

It bothers me because I feel kind of used.

Anyways, long story short, here we are now same problems, and now no sex whatsoever. I have so much sexual energy and need for romance not being met, and I feel sad.

I don't know what to do. I've tried everything, and communication is a fail. I can't talk to her about anything anymore without her just storming off or yelling/talking over me. She doesn't listen. Or well selective hearing.

I'm just bummed. I don't karaoke anymore, I don't play with my band anymore, I just work , and do everything for everyone. I feel like I'm not having fun.

I feel horny all the time, and I look at other women.

It's awful, but I just feel like I'm gonna pop. 

I don't know what the point of me posting is.

I guess to see what I should do anymore.

In general.

I'm battling lots of anxiety lately, and frustration.

Plus stress of bills and working non stop.


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

Look at it this way you’ve just now jumped out of an airplane it’s time to what.? Please fill in the blank and that’s what you should do in your life.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I think you need to either go to MC or have a real deep communicative discussion with your wife about ALL of what you've said (do NOT let her side track it or deflect the conversation -- you NEED to discuss and get answers). Your resentment of her comes through LOUD and clear, and for good reason from what you've written.

Also, do NOT give up your music. YOU are still and individual and have the right to pursue your own personal goals as well as goals for the marriage. Don't neglect your marriage for it, but don't neglect yourself for the marriage goals either.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

Is it too late to have the marriage dissolved?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your wife is 36. Is this her second marriage? Was she married to her ex?

You say that she pressured you into marrying her. Stop and think about this… you allowed her to do this. You need to take responsibility for the fact that you keep just allowing her to push you around and mistreat you.

From what you have said, there is no relationship worth saving here. You describe a mean and emotionally abusive wife.

It sounds like it’s time to get a divorce, before she gets pregnant and things get much more complicated.


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## musician2019 (Jan 5, 2020)

I appreciate everyone reading and sharing some input.

I suppose in a way I have come to some kind of resentment. 
I don't mean that to be like I hate her or anything. I do have some feelings for her still.
I guess in a way I'm not sure how to confront her. In a way, I'm worried I'm gonna hurt her feelings or something. I don't wanna come off as hurtful or anything.

It's like I'm not sure how exactly to go about even bringing it up or taking action.
Lately it's like walking on egg shells because she's always upset or high strung.
That I somewhat avoid communicating anymore. I just do small talk in our short time we see each other after my work, which is basically me just listening to her rant and rant about every little thing wrong with everything.

You are right about it being my fault as well. I know I made some dumb decisions, and I'm clearly not bright in this regard. 

I just am scared of what happens next. I don't know how to go about what needs to be done exactly. I know it'll be a mess. Or maybe that's just my perception of it.

Hmm..

Again thank you for helping me with some advice/input!

It is appreciated.


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## musician2019 (Jan 5, 2020)

Oh, forgot to mention in my response, yes she was married to her ex.

Sorry, I kind of got lost in my own head for a minute.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Regard yourself as being blessed. You've only got one year of marriage under your belt and you don't have kids. Hit the road.

Don't you find it strange that she was all about having a baby but doesn't want to have sex? It sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and a maid. It's a new year - stop letting her use you and cut the ties.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does your wife have a job?

Ok, you don't know what to do next. It depends on what you want to do here.

You need to build a support system. Do you have family and/or friends who you can confide in, at least one person? If so you need to tell them what's going on.

If you are going to get a divorce, you need to see a lawyer. Don't tell her yet because you need to find out what's going on. 

Divorce in California is pretty straight forward in a short-term marriage. You have been married one year. You have no children. California is a community property state. That means that assets that were accumulated after marriage are split 50/50. Assets that belonged to either of you before marriage are sole-property so you keep what belonged to you before as long as you did not comingle them with community property. If you did comingle them... hopefully you have a clear paper trail and can prove what's your sole property. If you cannot, it is converted to community property and split 50/50.

By the way, community debt is split 50/50 too. She should get 50% of any remaining debt from your marriage. 

If money is an issue, you might also want to look into using a mediator instead of an attorney. It's a much less expensive approach.

Many attorneys will give you half hour to one hour free consultation. That way you can ask lots of questions and interview them to see if who you want to hire. Ask them about mediation and if they do that as well.

Find out your rights and get things lined up before you tell her anything. 

Since she seems to be an angry, abusive person you might also want to get a counselor for yourself and see if they will help you in figuring out how to tell her. Sometimes it's a good idea to have someone else present when you let your spouse know that you are divorcing them... like do it in the counselor's office.


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## delupt (Dec 1, 2014)

Sex 10 times per year (or less) is considered sexless by the US Psych Assoc. 
Many consider a sexless marriage enforced by one party to be sexual abuse ... I agree.

This is not going to get any better without some effort, willingness and empathy on her part. But I assume that empathy is not in her vocabulary. 

Seriously, you're lucky, you've only lost a year and have no kids. You thought marriage would fix her but you were wrong, so for god's sake don't think a child will help because you can guess where that goes.
Yes, this is your fault and you need to fix it. The consequences you pay are that you have to end it. It will cost you plenty, but nothing in comparison to what most men have to pay. 


P.S. and most importantly, don't give up your bands ... I stopped playing for 15 yrs to placate a histrionic narcissist and raise 2 kids virtually single-handedly before escaping ... playing music again has changed everything (including my sex life)


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

She is a bully and a control freak. I know you love her but honestly, whats to love here?
No sex, no variation when there was sex. Cutting you off from family and things you love.
Now she wants a baby?
Egad.
Whatever you do, when she tries to seduce you please protect yourself. Dont let your naughty bits cloud your future.

Choice of two: divorce or marriage counseling.

Goodness man, you are 28! A vital young man! You should not be So miserable so soon.

I know that we often present the divorce card early on TAM , but in this case i think its necessary, or your future is going to be miserable.
Stop hoping she will change. She wont. Call a lawyer


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*At this juncture, even marriage or sexual counseling does not bode very promising, at least from your apt description of events!

I would be seeing legal counsel in trying to help extricate myself from the jaws of this unloving malady, and quite soon! 

Absolutely no one deserves treatment like this!*


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

She got divorced, was getting older, and wanted a partner and a baby. You're more or less a Husband Appliance. Your choices are to live like this for the next, say, 20-40 years or file for a divorce.

Were I you, I'd talk to a lawyer, have the papers drawn up and filed, sit her down and tell her you're divorcing her. That simple.


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## Amerika (Jan 5, 2020)

She likes the ex and reminisce. She wants to fill the void of the ex but it's only 1 (the ex). You are not married, no kids, presumably no assets co-owned. Does she have friends? Parents or siblings? Reach out to them, I believe you really love her, they might help to pass your frustration along before you throw in the towel. I am very sorry to read of this.


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## Lady2019 (Nov 5, 2019)

Please don’t bring a baby into the mix. Walk alway. 
Seek legal council, file a divorce, call it a life lesson and move on.
I understand not wanting to hurt her feelings but at this point she clearly is not respecting your feelings what so ever. Don’t be scared it really sounds like you have everything to gain and nothing left to lose.


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

If an innocent child is brought into this situation you will be on the hook for child support for MINIMUM 18 years.

Think about that. 

Babies don't fix bad marriages, they often put stresses on the marriage that make things worse. YOu think you have NO sex now? Wait until a demanding baby comes along. Birth recovery, nursing, body changes and LACK OF SLEEP put sex LAST on the list of priorities.

Cut your losses now.


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## niceguy47460 (Dec 23, 2018)

Since she is saying she wants a baby but won't have sex with you and is talking about the ex . You better be looking at her phone and stuff to see if they are in contact and what they are talking about . More than likely she is cheating on you and has come to the conclusion that she is going to get pregnant by someone else and tell you that it is yours .


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Stop having sex with her. File for divorce.

If you cannot bring yourself to do that, and she gets pregnant, have the kid's paternity tested. It isn't going to be yours. Save yourself from that humiliation.

Or, go for broke and call the producers of the Maury Povich show and offer to allow them to reveal the results in front of a studio audience.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

musician2019 said:


> So, I'll try to keep this somewhat short and to the point.
> I'm a 28 year old male who is married to a 36 year old female.
> 
> We've been together for 3 and a half years. Only married for one of the years.
> ...


"Hey wife, this isn't working for me anymore. I do almost everything, you do almost nothing, and I'm not going to live like a monk any more just because you want to. So here's what's going to happen: we are going to start having a good sex life, I'm going to start having sex with other women and you're going to be OK with that, or we are going to divorce and then I'm going to have sex with other women. As for the house, you are going to start doing half of the work, or you're going to pay for someone to do half the work, or we are going to divorce and I'm not going to have to take care of your **** any more. As far as kids are concerned, forget it - I am never having kids with you, and those are the reasons why. If we stay together, I'm going to use condoms every time until I get a vasectomy."

Done.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

"As time passed on, she was kind of depressed and guilted me to marriage."....You lowered your value in her head by doing this.
The problem is you.
You have lowered your Sexual Market Value with plenty of mistakes.
You must become a high value man. 
If you leave fine, you still must become a higher value man.
Read "The Rational Male"


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

StillSearching said:


> "As time passed on, she was kind of depressed and guilted me to marriage."....You lowered your value in her head by doing this.
> The problem is you.
> You have lowered your Sexual Market Value with plenty of mistakes.
> You must become a high value man.
> ...


I don't know anything about that book. But there have been quite a few men like the OP that have posted on here with similar issues. I do agree that he needs to change his attitude when he gets out of this relationship, or he could fall into a similar situation. I can only conclude that men go into marriages like this, not because they love the woman enough to overlook the lack of sex. They do it because they don't really think they can get it anywhere else. So...they settle. OP....when you get out of this relationship I am fairly certain you will be able to find a woman that loves you and will want to have a fulfilling sex life with you. You shouldn't have to beg your woman for crumbs of affection. Go find someone that is happy to be with you.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

ReformedHubby said:


> I don't know anything about that book. But there have been quite a few men like the OP that have posted on here with similar issues. I do agree that he needs to change his attitude when he gets out of this relationship, or he could fall into a similar situation. I can only conclude that men go into marriages like this, not because they love the woman enough to overlook the lack of sex. They do it because they don't really think they can get it anywhere else. So...they settle. OP....when you get out of this relationship I am fairly certain you will be able to find a woman that loves you and will want to have a fulfilling sex life with you. You shouldn't have to beg your woman for crumbs of affection. Go find someone that is happy to be with you.


I found myself in a very similar situation, but not because I couldn't get it anywhere else. I dated a number of women before I started dating my ex wife, and got flirted with throughout my marriage.

I stayed in a sexless marriage because I loved her, and because she had me convinced that's what you did if you loved someone - stay even though your needs aren't getting met.

Roles, duty, and commitment are strong influences in decision making.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Marduk said:


> ReformedHubby said:
> 
> 
> > I don't know anything about that book. But there have been quite a few men like the OP that have posted on here with similar issues. I do agree that he needs to change his attitude when he gets out of this relationship, or he could fall into a similar situation. I can only conclude that men go into marriages like this, not because they love the woman enough to overlook the lack of sex. They do it because they don't really think they can get it anywhere else. So...they settle. OP....when you get out of this relationship I am fairly certain you will be able to find a woman that loves you and will want to have a fulfilling sex life with you. You shouldn't have to beg your woman for crumbs of affection. Go find someone that is happy to be with you.
> ...


I'm curious, Marduk, what reason did your ex give for not meeting your needs?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Livvie said:


> I'm curious, Marduk, what reason did your ex give for not meeting your needs?


Oh, she had a laundry list:

1. I was unattractive. Well... why did she pressure me to marry her then? Why was I getting hit on constantly then? Why was I successful with attractive women before and after our marriage then?
2. I didn't do enough work around the house. Well... why didn't anything change when I did 100% of anything then? 
3. I didn't make enough money. Again, I don't mean to brag, but even back then I made more money than most of my friends, and I was pulling in six figures by the time I was 26 when we divorced - 20 years ago. 
4. I was too weak and dependent on her. This one I'll actually give her. After being told I was awful for so long, I started to believe it. But after we split, I picked myself up and moved on. By the time we signed the divorce papers a year later, I had already met and started dating my future wife.
5. Married people don't have to have sex, or even should. I'm not even going to touch that one.

PS turns out she was cheating on me when our marriage turned sexless... with an overweight, unattractive minimum wage security guard in her building... that was still living with his parents.

You can't make this stuff up. The point is, take her excuses with a grain of salt.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

OP it doesn't sound like this is going to recover or recover fast.

I speaking as a woman can tell you I believe many men do irreparable harm if you are dating for more than a year one partner wants to be married and the other doesn't even if you are guilted into it and finally do it the message you are sending is you aren't worth locking in. I don't find you attractive enough. So then you let them guilt you into it and what you are saying is I"m not man enough to walk away, I still don't love you like that but I'll do it to get you to shut up. 

Second your inlaws are required to help with the wedding expenses at all unless they agreed to help with them.

Third does she work? If not then you shouldn't have to do half the housework and kids will only make that worse. If she does then How does that play into it. For instance both me and my husband have full time jobs. BUT mine actually requires more hours on a regular basis so he often times pitches in extra during those times and when I have slack I pitch in extra as I usually have slack during the summer.

Fourth. She's 36 her time for having children is almost done. There isn't just a biological clock in our heads, Our bodies keep track and stop working. So if you don't want children and at this stage I can understand not wanting them you need to be honest with her so she can decide if she wants them or not and if that is worth leaving the marriage for. Ideally you would have had the conversation BEFORE you got married. Did you indicate you wanted kids? was it not discussed?

I hate to advocate for divorce but she's out of time and you two have issues right now that will not get better with children so having them isn't a good idea but she's also out of time. she could leave you tomorrow and find someone more suited in a few months. You would also find a more suitable mate as well. Or at least there are lots of people out there.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

musician2019 said:


> I appreciate everyone reading and sharing some input.
> 
> I suppose in a way I have come to some kind of resentment.
> I don't mean that to be like I hate her or anything. I do have some feelings for her still.
> ...


You don't need her permission to leave her. And you need the book .... 

No More Mr. Nice Guy
Book by Robert A. Glover

DescriptionNo More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life is a 2003 self-help book by Dr. Robert A. Glover. He describes what he calls the "Nice guy Syndrome", a condition in men who appear to be always nice and who try to avoid conflict at all costs.

That said, quit being a enable and people pleaser. Learn again to stand on your own. Quit taking the easy way out and avoiding conflict

Read this also....

Hold on to Your Nuts: The Relationship Manual for Men
Book by Wayne Levine


Description Being a man is a full-time job, especially when you?re married or in a relationship. Hold on to Your N.U.T.s can help build a life that fulfills both you and your partner by showing you how to confirm the ideas and causes you support?your Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

OP, this isn't likely to get better, and having a child with this woman will only make it worse. Just because you love someone doesn't mean that you should be with them, and it doesn't mean that you have to take it when they abuse you. And make no mistake, her behavior is definitely abusive.

You deserve better than a woman who will treat you like this. When will you realize that for yourself?

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

aquarius1 said:


> You should not be So miserable so soon.


Yes, you will be miserable in your marriage, but 28 is indeed too early... :laugh:


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

In Absentia said:


> Yes, you will be miserable in your marriage, but 28 is indeed too early... :laugh:


yes, I caught that too...obviously a pre coffee comment :grin2::wink2:


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Livvie said:


> I'm curious, Marduk, what reason did your ex give for not meeting your needs?


It's called Blue Pill.
Women don't desire a guy that's like that. 
He even blames HER for staying with her.."She convinced me...."
His wife was right on all counts.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Read books, talk, Buy gifts, blah, blah, blah.

You’ll never fix this. 

Nothing will ever change.

You shouldn’t have married her in the first place so fix that.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Marduk said:


> Oh, she had a laundry list:
> 
> 1. I was unattractive. Well... why did she pressure me to marry her then? Why was I getting hit on constantly then? Why was I successful with attractive women before and after our marriage then?
> 2. I didn't do enough work around the house. Well... why didn't anything change when I did 100% of anything then?
> ...


Really glad you got out of this situation. I've read your posts and it seems like you have an awesome marriage now. But your laundry list is the reason why I always roll my eyes when people tell someone in a sexless marriage that they should make themselves more attractive, make more money, get flowers, do more chores around the house, etc. etc.. Most of the time the person withholding sex will just keep coming up with excuses. 

The only solution is to decide to live with it and focus on other aspects of the relationship, or get divorced. Many in sexless marriages say that other parts of their relationship are great...but from where I stand I don't really see how thats possible ...I see it as a form of psychological abuse. They person withholding sex simply wears their partner down to the point that they start to accept having a "friend" and roommate as a spouse. But even in a friendship you don't ignore an important need of your friend, especially if you are the ONLY person that can fulfill that need. To me the saddest part is there are so many men and women blaming themselves for the lack of intimacy in their relationship.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

ReformedHubby said:


> Really glad you got out of this situation. I've read your posts and it seems like you have an awesome marriage now. But your laundry list is the reason why I always roll my eyes when people tell someone in a sexless marriage that they should make themselves more attractive, make more money, get flowers, do more chores around the house, etc. etc.. Most of the time the person withholding sex will just keep coming up with excuses.
> 
> The only solution is to decide to live with it and focus on other aspects of the relationship, or get divorced. Many in sexless marriages say that other parts of their relationship are great...but from where I stand I don't really see how thats possible ...I see it as a form of psychological abuse. They person withholding sex simply wears their partner down to the point that they start to accept having a "friend" and roommate as a spouse. But even in a friendship you don't ignore an important need of your friend, especially if you are the ONLY person that can fulfill that need. To me the saddest part is there are so many men and women blaming themselves for the lack of intimacy in their relationship.


I think if you find yourself in a sexless marriage, go into it with good intentions. First, do a self-assessment: are you trying to stay attractive? Reasonably fit, dressing nicely, grooming well? It's not exactly the other person's fault if you've gained 100 lbs, dress like a slob, and shower once a month. But if you are keeping yourself in order, move on to the next thing: are you doing your part emotionally and physically? Are you paying attention to your spouse, still wooing them, getting your stuff done around the house and in the relationship? It's not the other person's fault if they're not attracted to you because they're exhausted doing all the cooking, cleaning, etc... and it's not their fault if you're not emotionally engaged and supportive in the relationship. If you are though, move on to the next thing... 

Are they ok physically and mentally? Are they taking care of themselves? Are they healthy? Do they have a health or mental condition that they need support with or encouragement around? If their hormones are out of whack or they're struggling staying fit and feeling attractive, maybe some help or encouragement would be good.

Once you've exhausted all of that, it's time to be more bold.

"Spouse, I'm not happy with our sex life. I want more X and Y and Z." Be specific, be forthcoming, and be honest. Start a conversation, see what happens.

If they break down crying, investigate sexual trauma in their past - gently. If they shut down, give them some time to think about it, maybe a few weeks or months. If nothing changes, again just be upfront: more sex, an open marriage, or divorce. Make it clear that you're in an unreasonable position and part of the condition of monogamy is that the other person is invested in your happiness. Then just live by that.


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## MZMEE (Apr 17, 2018)

For women sex is more than a physical act unlike men. Men think women can just "do it". Though we can, sex for a women to be fullfilled is connected to our heart and head. If our heart and head is off about you, sex is affected. So instead of focusing on the act of sex, you have to get to what has disconnected in her heart and head about you. Something changed.

Good luck.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Children are no appliances to make someone feel better. This woman would likely treat her children as such. This doesn't make for a healthy childhood.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

ReformedHubby said:


> Really glad you got out of this situation. I've read your posts and it seems like you have an awesome marriage now. But your laundry list is the reason why I always roll my eyes when people tell someone in a sexless marriage that they should make themselves more attractive, make more money, get flowers, do more chores around the house, etc. etc.. Most of the time the person withholding sex will just keep coming up with excuses.
> 
> The only solution is to decide to live with it and focus on other aspects of the relationship, or get divorced. Many in sexless marriages say that other parts of their relationship are great...but from where I stand I don't really see how thats possible ...I see it as a form of psychological abuse. They person withholding sex simply wears their partner down to the point that they start to accept having a "friend" and roommate as a spouse. But even in a friendship you don't ignore an important need of your friend, especially if you are the ONLY person that can fulfill that need. To me the saddest part is there are so many men and women blaming themselves for the lack of intimacy in their relationship.


ALL OF THIS. And withholding sex IS ABUSE. It has taken me years to recover from the trauma of a sexless marriage, and I still am triggered if a present partner says no to sex.

OP, your wife's behavior is ABUSIVE, and it's not going to change. If you need permission, if you need someone to tell you that it's OK to leave this marriage, @musician2019 we will give you the permission you need to do that. When you get married, part of the marriage contract is that you agree to take care of one another's emotional and physical needs. She has abandoned that responsibility, and effectively nullified the marriage contract. That means it's ok if you file and legally end the marriage, because she already has done so in every other respect.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I highly recommend doing something nice for yourself.
Don't make a big production of it. Don't announce it. Don't change anything else.
Feel how nice it is to be treated well for a change.
BE SELFISH. Not as a lifestyle, just enough to understand it.
Then decide if you love yourself too much to give that up to make her happy.


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