# Odds that she did cheat



## BrokenOklahoman (Jan 22, 2013)

What are the chances that my wife actually had an affair with another man? 

I received a call from the wife of another man, and she proceeded to tell me that her husband and my spouse were having an affair. She did not give me details, but said that they had met on more than one occasion. 

What strikes me as odd is that a week or two before I received THE call my wife called to tell me that an employee from our local internet company came by the house "to check the lines" (I do know that some line upgrades were going on around the same time). It turns out that that employee was the "Other person", and that she called me because our nephew had come by while he was there. I did not piece this together until later.

My problem is that she swore on the lives of our children that she did not cheat on me. This was about two years ago, but I am still having trouble letting it go. 

I admit that I just "Swept it under the rug" to try and make things work, but it seems everyday I die a little more inside. I am living my life as if she was telling the truth and did not have an affair. I know I am being niave, but I do not know how else to cope.

I came from a broken home and wish more than anything that my kids never have to go through what I did.

I tell my wife (still to this day) that I love her more than life itself, but I cannot seem to find the courage to tell her that I am dying inside. I do love my wife more than life itself. That is not a false statement.


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

Ok, so the short answer is YES!! Your nephew caught them unbeknownst to him and she had to come up with a cover story PRONTO!! 

Being wishy washy is not the way to go.

Being a tough hombre is


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## JustGrinding (Oct 26, 2012)

BO, just know this: it's never going to go away.

If you don't get to the bottom of it, it will eat at you for the rest of your life.

Imagine feeling the way you're feeling now for the next 30 years.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

If I had a nickel every time a BS says that his cheating spouse swore on the kids that she did not cheat, I would have a lot of dollars!!

Swearing on kids lives is almost a inside joke among members of this site because of the frequency with which it happens..

Talk to your nephew..


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

Why don't you get in touch with the woman who called you. Find out what you can from her if she's willing to talk.

Tell your wife that you tried to put that episode behind you because you love her and didn't want to create a bigger problem. But you haven't been able to resolve it in your mind. 

Tell her she has to admit things looked suspicious and if the shoe were on the other foot, she would be suspicious too. Therefore you want her to submit to a polygraph exam. If she refuses, you will consider separation or divorce.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

First off - rid yourself of the notion that you love your wife more than life itself. Not when she cheats. Not when she swears on the lives of her children while cheating. She's not just cheating and lying to you. She is cheating and lying to her own children. This type of person is not worth loving more than life itself.

You're better than that.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> What are the chances that my wife actually had an affair with another man?


It is estimated by those who conduct informed speculation that roughly 50% of wives will do so at some point, so that's the starting point.



BrokenOklahoman said:


> I received a call from the wife of another man, and she proceeded to tell me that her husband and my spouse were having an affair. She did not give me details, but said that they had met on more than one occasion.


I got several of these calls a few years back on our publicly listed land line from a woman claiming my wife was having an affair with her husband. The phone is listed in my wife's maiden name (which most common female name/surname combination in the Spanish speaking Western Hemisphere) which she only uses for that number and it turned out to be a case of mistaken identity. Unless your wife has that same name, I'd say your odds went up to 80%.




BrokenOklahoman said:


> What strikes me as odd is that a week or two before I received THE call my wife called to tell me that an employee from our local internet company came by the house "to check the lines" (I do know that some line upgrades were going on around the same time). It turns out that that employee was the "Other person", and that she called me because our nephew had come by while he was there. I did not piece this together until later.


You are now at 95%.




BrokenOklahoman said:


> My problem is that she swore on the lives of our children that she did not cheat on me.


You are now at 100%. Anytime a woman "swears on the life of her children" about anything, she's actually saying, "I confess to committing adultery. Lots." Nothing says adultery like swearing on the lives of the children. I'm dead serious; that's the only time a woman ever says that. The other thing it means is DNA tests all around.

And here's the real kicker, "the experts" say that 80% of affairs go undetected. Since your wife never gave off any tells and there were no behavioral changes, what do you think are the chances that you beat the odds and caught her on her first excursion. I would say 00%.

Odds she's a serial cheater based on the above, 75%.



BrokenOklahoman said:


> This was about two years ago, but I am still having trouble letting it go.
> 
> I admit that I just "Swept it under the rug" to try and make things work, but it seems everyday I die a little more inside. I am living my life as if she was telling the truth and did not have an affair. I know I am being niave, but I do not know how else to cope.
> 
> ...


If you want to stay with her, you need to figure some things out first about your relationship. 

1. How's your sex life? How was it at the time of the known affair? How has it changed since then?

2. Is she a SAHM (Stray at Home Mom) or does she work/travel since you've been married?

3. What kind of monitoring have you put into place?

4. How often do other women hit on you? Does your wife ever see it?


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

Yes she cheated. 

You are going to have to get her to admit it so you can work through it. Otherwise you will continue to die on the inside, and she may do it again. 

Remember the woman that you love more than life itself is currently lying to you. Every time you ask her about it and she denies it, she is lying to you again. Tell her you have a polygraph scheduled for this Thursday. I bet she starts sharing things real quickly. Or she will get damn defensive. Either way, you get your answer.

Get it out of her and then you two get to work. Also you are going to die a lot more on the inside. Welcome to TAM from fellow "dying from the inside out" member.

Sorry for the situation you are facing.


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

She got caught and came up with this lame excuse.
1. Get tested for STD's.
2. Spend $500 and have her take a polygraph.

Good luck.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Odds are pretty good she was banging this guy

Polygraph her as part of the bargain that you'll try and work it out

Don't worry, she most likely fail. Oh, and get that STD test too!


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

I'm new and going through an issue myself. What raised your awareness to make the issue become this serious 2 years later? Not trying to be insulting, but in my case something happened that was basically Deja vu and I investigated and found an EA.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> This was about two years ago, but I am still having trouble letting it go.


unless she is still cheating the STD test may be a moot point.

When your nephew found them it might have scared your wife straight.

But you need to tell her about the call.

You do need a serious talk with her...


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

If her story doesn't jive, polygraph asap.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BrokenOklahoman (Jan 22, 2013)

Machiavelli,
The answers to your question are below:
1. The sex life has fallen off, but a lot of that is from me pulling away.
2. She has actually spent the better part of the last three years working part time. There are a lot of times that she could "Sneak" around.
3. Unfortunately, I do not have any monitoring in place. I would not know where to start.
4. I am not sure how often I get hit on. My wife says that women are flirting with me any time I have a conversation with the opposite sex. I am not a flirter but at times I can be oblivious to others flirting with me. I am a work-out nut, and must work out at home because my wife didnt like other women looking at me when we were at the gym.

As for the STD I am clear. I had blood work done recently for work/travel. 

The kids are mine. I think anybody that sees my kids can agree that they are the spitting image of me.

The reason that it is coming up two years later is because when she "cheated/not cheated" last time she was working a job where she worked in the evenings. Then she changed to a job where she was working mid-day and now she is working evenings again. This has caused a flood of emotions/insecurities to come back.

My wife knows of the phone conversation that I had with the other parties wife, but she was quick to intervene and keep us from being able to talk. Now I have no way to get a hold of her.

The strange thing is that she was the person being shady, but I do not know how many times I have seen her going through my phone, and acting as if I am up to something.


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

Wow.
As I understand it a lot of people misbehaving get suspicious that others around them are misbehaving. It is odd that she is defensive about being flirted with and checking your phone.

I think she may still be up to something unless.....

Here goes: Have you been faithful to her during your entire relationship?


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## BrokenOklahoman (Jan 22, 2013)

100%


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

Then I'd be suspicious.

What do you think you are going to do?
I can help you with stealth phone / computer monitoring if you choose to go that route. It is pretty simple.

I would still tell her you have a poly scheduled and see what her reaction is.


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## BrokenOklahoman (Jan 22, 2013)

I have been 100% faithful.


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## BrokenOklahoman (Jan 22, 2013)

What is Stealth Phone? She is constantly on her phone.


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

Sent PM. check your messages.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

DevastatedDad is a great resource for dgging out info.

And unfortunately for you, I think you are going to find things you don't want to know. Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally.

Remain calm when you discover evidence. It won't serve your interests to blow your cool.


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## JustGrinding (Oct 26, 2012)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> The strange thing is that she was the person being shady, but I do not know how many times I have seen her going through my phone, and acting as if I am up to something.


Projection. Another normal "Red Flag" from a betraying spouse. Assumes "everybody" cheats 'cause she does. It's a coping mechanism that allows them to avoid accountability for the terrible thing they're doing.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Broken.

Sorry you find yourself here, but know that everyone on this site is here to try and help you get through this and is also here to help you get to whatever place YOU WANT. 

Here's the kicker though. A lot of advice you get here is going to "feel" counter productive to your goal...it's not. You're going to be told about "the 180" and "manning up" etc. All of these things are to help you. It will help you if you try to keep your family together, it will help you if that isn't an option. But do yourself the favor. Your going to be an emotional wreck, rely on the people here trying to help you. This site is going to be a huge crutch for you and you're talking to, unfortunately, a bunch of experts.

DEFINITELY listen to Devastated Dad in regards on monitoring etc.


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

Also at first a lot of people on here are going to come off as almost mean or harsh sounding. A weird shift happens. Some of the people that were "meanest" on here to me initially are my best TAM friends.

People here are great at seeing through BS and calling folks out on it.
It's a good thing though.

And As I said in my PM, I really hope you find out she is a saint and you have nothing to worry about. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone except for my WW's OM


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

I like how she was projecting always blaming you and checking your phone all the while she may have been cheating. Oh and go back to the gym if you want that's her problem you have nothing to hide.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

A proven tactic, put you on the defensive with innuendo and false accusations to keep you off guard.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> Machiavelli,
> The answers to your question are below:
> 1. The sex life has fallen off, but a lot of that is from me pulling away.


Since there was no fall off on sex from her end during and afterward, this means she doesn't, either by nature or through experience, sexually fixate on one man at a time. This is not a good thing, unless you have an open marriage.



BrokenOklahoman said:


> 2. She has actually spent the better part of the last three years working part time. There are a lot of times that she could "Sneak" around.
> 3. Unfortunately, I do not have any monitoring in place. I would not know where to start.


For the time being, ignore her phone, other than to keep tabs on the call and text history on the bill. Don't be looking at the actual phone for the time being. Does she have a password on her phone? If so, do you know it?

Get a VAR and velcro it securely to the bottom of her driver's seat. Cheaters love to talk in the car. Also, get a cheap GPS, the kind you check after the fact thru the UBS port, and put it on her car.

Put a keylogger on her computer as well. If she's running subterranean email addresses, you'll be able to find 'em and get into 'em.

What you want to try to do is keep cool and don't tip your hand any more than is necessary until you find out which way the wind is blowing right now. Appear to be oblivious, even though you are now questioning everything. Undercover all the way. If you get proof from the above methods, resist the urge to confront her until you get some advice from the guys here. WW's are amazing gaslighters, as your's has already proven to be one of the best.




BrokenOklahoman said:


> 4. I am not sure how often I get hit on. My wife says that women are flirting with me any time I have a conversation with the opposite sex. I am not a flirter but at times I can be oblivious to others flirting with me.


She's probably right. If you're not in tune with it, it can sail right over your head.



BrokenOklahoman said:


> I am a work-out nut, and must work out at home because my wife didnt like other women looking at me when we were at the gym.


My advice is to go back to the gym, but not at this time. I train at home, but I have a full blown commercial studio here. If I wasn't in the business, I'd have a membership somewhere. How you handle other women and the gym sitch will depend on what your investigation reveals and how that has an impact on your marriage. A bridge to be crossed later.




BrokenOklahoman said:


> The kids are mine. I think anybody that sees my kids can agree that they are the spitting image of me.


Lots of guys say that.



BrokenOklahoman said:


> The strange thing is that she was the person being shady, but I do not know how many times I have seen her going through my phone, and acting as if I am up to something.


As already pointed out above, shrinks call this behavior "projection." Another sign of a serial cheater.

My advice is to keep your behavior and everything else in the "normal" zone, smooth as silk, while you investigate for about 60 days or so. Don't bring up the poly until after that. You may catch her red handed and that will give you big time clarity on your next move. If you don't catch her, then poly her and go forward from there with R or D.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> My wife knows of the phone conversation that I had with the other parties wife, but she was quick to intervene and keep us from being able to talk. Now I have no way to get a hold of her.


I was not on the she cheated band wagon before, as there was some doubt to me.

This, however, is a huge red flag to me.

Contact the woman who called you and get more information. I would also talk to your nephew if possible.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Machiavelli said:


> For the time being, ignore her phone, other than to keep tabs on the call and text history on the bill. Don't be looking at the actual phone for the time being. Does she have a password on her phone? If so, do you know it?


I will say it it worthwhile checking to see how far back you can get the phone records. Might help you figure what went on, as well as what is going on.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

You may as well snoop around a bit without arousing suspicion for a second phone. Burner phones are popular and cheap.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

I would check things out now. Do you have passwords to email and FB? Get a VAR for her car


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Get 2 VARS, one in the house and one in her car.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

walkonmars said:


> A proven tactic, put you on the defensive with innuendo and false accusations to keep you off guard.


Sometimes it is fear. "I am a cheat. Oh my God! He might be cheating, too!"

Unless she has groundless suspicions of you and her behaviour is making it look like she is a cheat, but in fact is insanely jealous for no good cause?


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

Q: Odds that she did cheat
A: 100%


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

They always say they did not cheat...


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> The strange thing is that she was the person being shady, but I do not know how many times I have seen her going through my phone, and acting as if I am up to something.


A form of blame shifting IMO. When they do something wrong, some people tend to look for that problem in others. 

When we reached DD My wife swore up and down I was "cheating" too because I was acting strange. She was partially correct. I was acting strange because I suspected something was wrong. After reading all of the stories and my own experience, we think we hide it well, but many do not. So, she was picking up on my "act" of everything was normal.

Since she was hiding something, because I said she was acting strange, she proceeded to check everything I had, that was used by her, in her EA.


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

This is a very common sympton of guilt:

The strange thing is that she was the person being shady, but I do not know how many times I have seen her going through my phone, and acting as if I am up to something.

She wants you to be guilty so she can relieve HER guilty mind.


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## DevastatedDad (Oct 2, 2012)

I was at lunch with my wife and she kept asking if everything was okay and that I seemed to be behaving differently. As soon as she said that that to me I knew she was having an affair. I went back, checked her phone and learned she had been screwing OM 30 minutes before she made that comment.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> My problem is that she swore on the lives of our children that she did not cheat on me.


I don't know why this means that they cheated, but if you look at the threads here where a mother swore on the lives of her children, it always has turned out that they cheated.

It seems that innocent people falsely accused try to come up with logical arguments why they didn't cheat; cheaters who are caught tend to swear on the lives of their children, I guess because they don't have any better excuse.

As warlock said, it's an inside joke on here.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> What strikes me as odd is that *a week or two before I received THE call my wife called to tell me that an employee from our local internet company came by the house "to check the lines"* (I do know that some line upgrades were going on around the same time). It turns out that that employee was the "Other person", and that she called me because *our nephew had come by while he was there*. I did not piece this together until later.


Was there anything strange about that call? Was it unusual for her to call you to tell you about something fairly inconsequential when she could just mention it to you when she saw you in person later in the day?

Are you close enough to your nephew to ask him about what he remembers about that day?


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> I came from a broken home and wish more than anything that my kids never have to go through what I did.


None of us wants our kids to go through this, regardless of the circumstances of our upbringing.

You feel like you have a tough decision - confront your wife on your cheating and put an end to any current affair she is in, weighed against the chance that you lose your wife. The thing is, there is no guarantee that she won't leave you anyway, even if you do nothing and say nothing. She might be having an affair right now, she may have one in the future. Then where will you be? She might leave you for her current or future affair partner. Maybe other man from two years ago is still in the picture or now will come back into the picture with your wife switching hours again. If you don't find out the truth and face it down, and your wife does leave you, you will be wondering if only you had confronted her this time, would you have been able to prevent her from leaving you? 

Confidence and self respect are good qualities. Finding the truth and confronting your wife will not be seen by your wife as a bad quality.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

The chance she cheated is not 100 percent. Unfortunately 90+ percent ain't much better.

Mach's plan is a masterpiece. Add the two VARS and phone records lookup from others. I'll add my piece. Lookup zoomback GPS which gives a report. The one part I will emphasize is get with that woman who called you!!! Do it at the 60 day mark just like Mach suggested as you info gathering time.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> The kids are mine. I think anybody that sees my kids can agree that they are the spitting image of me.


Not to go off topic, and not saying this is the case with the OP, but why does it seem all men say this when it comes to paternity testing/cheating wives? Is it some kind of defense mechanism? I see kids all the time who resemble me, my Uncle, my sister, etc. I remember having to give a poison control presentation to a group of kindergarten students a few months ago at a local elementary school. I saw a boy and a girl who looked so much like me even my classmates noticed and pointed it out. It still didn't change the fact they weren't related to me in the slightest


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Polygraph the WW. She balks, tell those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. The test is on because you can not move past that phone cal from the OMW.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> For the time being, ignore her phone, other than to *keep tabs on the call and text history on the bill*. Don't be looking at the actual phone for the time being. Does she have a password on her phone? If so, do you know it?
> 
> *Get a VAR and velcro it securely to the bottom of her driver's seat. Cheaters love to talk in the car*. Also, get a cheap GPS, the kind you check after the fact thru the UBS port, and put it on her car.
> 
> ...


This is all good advice.

It won't take you anywhere near 60 days to find out the truth.

Looking at the phone bills for a number that is called or texted an unusually large number of times is the way many betrayed husbands uncover the cheating and find out who the other man is.

The voice-activated recorder is a way that many betrayed husbands find out what actually is going on. If you can't read the texts or see the emails or facebook messages because you are password-protected out, this lets you know what is going on.

I also would recommend a voice-activated recorder in the house in a place where she is likely to talk on the phone when you are not around. Finding out what's going on this way usually takes no more than a week.

Keylogger and gps are good, too, but only do them if you can do so without being caught.

First thing you have to do is find out where you stand currently.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

DevastatedDad said:


> I was at lunch with my wife and she kept asking if everything was okay and that I seemed to be behaving differently. As soon as she said that that to me I knew she was having an affair. I went back, checked her phone and learned she had been screwing OM 30 minutes before she made that comment.


Why did she do that? Probably guilt. See, she knew if you knew what she'd been doing, you would be upset. So the part of her mind that was loyal to you was being upset on your behalf. But the conscious part of her brain didn't know what was happening.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

BrokenOklahoman said:


> What is Stealth Phone? *She is constantly on her phone*.


Just the fact that she always is on the phone is a huge red flag.

Is it mostly texting or talking?

Do you know who she is texting/talking to?

Does she sleep with her phone or take it in the bathroom with her?

Do you have her password?

If so, do the number of texts on the phone jive with how often she is texting? Does it seem like a lot of texts are deleted?


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Yes, defense mechanism. Also after an Affair, you have all those triggers and movies, that last thing you want to entertain is a child you raised isn't yours.

My wife has a job that requires a ton of texting. She never hid her phone and I decided to look. For me, it was more the when than the amount. Yes, the amount is important, especially to one number. For me, the important texts were late at night, when she was at work, etc etc etc places where I wasn't going to stumble in or I was asleep. Pay attention to what she does when you appear while she is texting. I knew for sure when I noticed the difference between work, female friends and the OM.

My wife would talk to me, look me in the eye and slowly close the phone when it was the OM. She had a flip phone at the time. Any other time, especially work related texts, she'd keep texting or tell me to hold on a second. She didn't care if I watched her finish texting. She never picked up on that quirk.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Jasel said:


> Not to go off topic, and not saying this is the case with the OP, but why does it seem all men say this when it comes to paternity testing/cheating wives? Is it some kind of defense mechanism? I see kids all the time who resemble me, my Uncle, my sister, etc. I remember having to give a poison control presentation to a group of kindergarten students a few months ago at a local elementary school. I saw a boy and a girl who looked so much like me even my classmates noticed and pointed it out. It still didn't change the fact they weren't related to me in the slightest


At the same time, those kids didn't come out of your wife's crotch and attempted to be passed of as your progeny. Sure, there may be cases where a kid looks like you, but then that's out of thousands of kids, not the ones that are supposed to be yours and aren't.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> Just the fact that she always is on the phone is a huge red flag.
> 
> Is it mostly texting or talking?
> 
> ...


Here go shock and awe first-polygragh- then DNA the kids. Now I know they will be your kids no matter what but show her what you think of her credibility(or lack of it) Hey you thought she would never cheat on you, just sayin.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Why is everybody concentrating on current cheating when it is rugsweeping from 2 years ago that is his issue? He needs to deal with that so it doesn't eat him up inside for the rest of his life. And the longer it goes, the greater the chances of the famous "I don't remember" excuse. Sure, spy now for current cheating (I guess). But deal with the 2 year old thing mainly. Talk to the nephew. Find the OMW. 

And about the VAR under the car seat. Just like we all say "cheaters always talk in their cars", the folks at d.o.c.c.o.o.l.com and other cheater sites surely say "first, check under the drivers seat. That's where all the betrayed spouses put their VAR's".

Good luck trying to find out about cable-boy when she's confronting you with your VAR in her hands.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

removed post


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

MrK said:


> Why is everybody concentrating on current cheating when it is rugsweeping from 2 years ago that is his issue?


I am sorry, but if you give someone a pass, for two years, you should come at them with new things not "rugsweeping" information you previously let go. I am speaking for myself.


If she really "changed" and this is two years old feelings, then he needs to have a real sit down and they both need MC. At this point, they are both right. He has a right to be mad, feel hurt or whatever concerning the trustworthiness of his wife. Still, after two years, she has a right to be upset that he can't move on IF she really changed.

In other words, her reported current actions make me think she is in contact with another man or the old OM. If they sit down for a talk, she says "why do you keep bringing up old stuff," he can say "well here you go this is new."


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

MrK said:


> Why is everybody concentrating on current cheating when it is rugsweeping from 2 years ago that is his issue?


If he can nail her still in an A with this guy or someone new, the rugsweeping is a moot point. It will cut through a ton of BS and gaslighting about the ancient past to something current and vital. If he hits her with that, properly, he'll have a lot more knockdown power.



MrK said:


> He needs to deal with that so it doesn't eat him up inside for the rest of his life. And the longer it goes, the greater the chances of the famous "I don't remember" excuse.


He's waited 2 years, 2 more months won't hurt him any when he brings up the cable guy. And if it pans out that she's still fooking around he can be _much_ more mentally decisive in confrontation and aftermath.



MrK said:


> Sure, spy now for current cheating (I guess). But deal with the 2 year old thing mainly. Talk to the nephew. Find the OMW.


In this case, BH suspicion has been reawakened by current events, so current events take precedence. Stop any new bleeding, then do surgery on old wounds.



MrK said:


> And about the VAR under the car seat. Just like we all say "cheaters always talk in their cars", the folks at d.o.c.c.o.o.l.com and other cheater sites surely say "first, check under the drivers seat. That's where all the betrayed spouses put their VAR's".
> 
> Good luck trying to find out about cable-boy when she's confronting you with your VAR in her hands.


The nuclear option still remains.


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