# incorperating ED into sex



## Changecage (Jan 14, 2020)

I have intermittent performance issues. I love having sex with my wife and was wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to incorporate ed into our sex life in a non-awkward way. right now, my wife is hesitant to initiate sex for fear of me not performing. I on the other hand have told her it's ok if I don't have penetrative sex as long as she is sexually satisfied.


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## kh4OffRoad (9 mo ago)

Changecage said:


> I have intermittent performance issues. I love having sex with my wife and was wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to incorporate ed into our sex life in a non-awkward way. right now, my wife is hesitant to initiate sex for fear of me not performing. I on the other hand have told her it's ok if I don't have penetrative sex as long as she is sexually satisfied.


You have come to the right place, although most men don’t want to much talk about there problems downstairs. I have been through all of this. I don’t mind helping someone else especially if you don’t have to go through certain pitfalls, like I did. So let’s start. First off I no longer believe that ED is something that you have to live with, it can always be treated. So next up; be extremely grateful that you have a willing partner! Also tell her 1,000X or more that it is YOUR problem has NOTHING to do with her, reaffirm her that she will always be the hottest woman in the world to you and she is more then perfect in every way. Next talk with her about why it is your problem (this also can help take that negative thinking like: “well maybe it’s that 10lbs I put on” away) After that, discus the treatment options and how they may help fix your problem. So you can be the lover you know she wants you to be. Don’t let it ruin what you have! Also when you are ready to treat it I have a suggestion. Have a special night that you two are looking forward to. When the time is right, lay beside her with NO pressure to preform (she doesn’t need to be dressed up like those stupid angels or tugging away at you like it’s the end of the world.) This will ease the situation in case it doesn’t work. Just hold her and see what happens. PM me if you have any more questions.


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## Defhero (Jan 5, 2022)

You are on the right track. You can still ejaculate, even though not getting hard. Use the tip of your penis and rub on her clitoris and use it as a toy. Just a suggestion!!!


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

It would help to know what you have tried so far.


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## kh4OffRoad (9 mo ago)

Diceplayer said:


> It would help to know what you have tried so far.


Who are you referring to?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

One of the issues people run into is they become very penis and intercourse-centric in their sexuality. To them sexuality = PIV intercourse and only intercourse = sexuality. 

This is very short sighted as the penis is only one body part and per standard medical burn charts only makes up about 1% of the body surface area no matter how hung you are.

And intercourse is just one act out of an entire constellation of pleasurable, arousing and satisfying activities. 

First step here is to simply expand your mind on what you think sexuality is and see it in a bigger picture that is not dependent on a hard penis always going into a vagina.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

oldshirt said:


> ... intercourse is just one act out of *an entire constellation of pleasurable, arousing and satisfying activities.*
> 
> First step here is to simply expand your mind on what you think sexuality is and see it in a bigger picture that is not dependent on a hard penis always going into a vagina.


QFT!!! :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

In our marriage, we enjoy a very satisfying sex life, but "sex" is not the only activity. I like to think of it as "being intimate with another human being" and take the 50,000 foot view. Being intimate isn't just erect penis in vagina! There's a muriad of touching, trying different kinds of touches in different places, different times of day or night (or mid-day). There's sharing of hearts and minds--thoughts and feelings. There's sharing of ideas and intellect (including witty humor). There is hugging, holding, cuddling. There's spiritual intimacy and sharing spirituality. My point being that not only is there physical sharing, but sharing on every single level.

Regarding the ED, here's the way that we address that sort of thing (if it were to ever "come up" haha): in the later years, for there to be successful PIV a number of stars have to align well. Sometimes there is an illness or something that circumvents that success. Sometimes it's just a matter of a busy mind. So we talk about "whatever it is" openly! If the mind is busy we SHARE that...talk about it. If it's an illness or physical limit like that, we talk about that and decide how to proceed. We keep it playful. We keep wide open minds. We request what we want (or don't). And we consciously remind ourselves that we both want closeness in whatever way it can be expressed.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Changecage said:


> my wife is hesitant to initiate sex for fear of me not performing


Why is she hesitant? Why cant she take it as a “chalkenge”?


Changecage said:


> don't have penetrative sex as long as she is sexually satisfied.


Is SHE ok without PIV ? Some women aren’t.

Anyway, a large percentage of men encounter ED sometime in their lives. I did in my seventies. It can be fixed! You don’t have to live with it or the crap that goes along with it. Go see a competent urologist and explore the options. Work the problem.


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## kh4OffRoad (9 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> One of the issues people run into is they become very penis and intercourse-centric in their sexuality. To them sexuality = PIV intercourse and only intercourse = sexuality.
> 
> This is very short sighted as the penis is only one body part and per standard medical burn charts only makes up about 1% of the body surface area no matter how hung you are.
> 
> ...


You are not wrong. We all know there is more to sexuality then just PIV. However do not be so fast to write it off as a 1% deal. There’s a special closeness most people feel both physically and emotionally when they do have PIV sex. Most would agree that there is something unique and incredibly special about it.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

You don't even have to visit a doctor in person anymore. There are legit online doctors that will prescribe anywhere from 5-30 generic chewable Viagra online in a monthly plan that is very affordable.

I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of with ED as it affects most men at some point in their life. It's really nice having something that helps on occasion and it allows you to perform multiple times.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> You don't even have to visit a doctor in person anymore. There are legit online doctors that will prescribe anywhere from 5-30 generic chewable Viagra online in a monthly plan that is very affordable.
> 
> I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of with ED as it affects most men at some point in their life. It's really nice having something that helps on occasion and it allows you to perform multiple times.


I would caution regarding just going straight to getting a script. I had a urologist who was going to teach me trimix without taking a history or doing any testing. There are all sorts of causes for this. A competent doctor who takes time to diagnose is imperative


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Rus47 said:


> I would caution regarding just going straight to getting a script. I had a urologist who was going to teach me trimix without taking a history or doing any testing. There are all sorts of causes for this. A competent doctor who takes time to diagnose is imperative


Trying to find a doctor these days who will spend any time with you is difficult. They are pretty much writing a script the moment you name any kind of condition and then out the door. I have had them in and out in less than 2 minutes with a script in hand.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Unfortunately, this often becomes a circular firing squad. As indicated in another thread by a female poster; where she makes it quite clear that women; despite best of intentions, DO take a man's ED issues personally. Which in turn all but guarantees more poor performance.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Trying to find a doctor these days who will spend any time with you is difficult. They are pretty much writing a script the moment you name any kind of condition and then out the door. I have had them in and out in less than 2 minutes with a script in hand.


Neither wife nor I have any difficulty finding doctors who spend time with us. My urologist, her gynecologist, our GP return our calls and when we have an appointment they listen, diagnose, treat.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

kh4OffRoad said:


> You are not wrong. We all know there is more to sexuality then just PIV. However do not be so fast to write it off as a 1% deal. There’s a special closeness most people feel both physically and emotionally when they do have PIV sex. Most would agree that there is something unique and incredibly special about it.


Yes but the problem a lot of people get into is they start to treat it as an All-or-Nothing type thing to where if the 1% body part doesn’t rise to the occasion they don’t even try or put for any more effort into it. 

The game is over before it even starts and they don’t even try to find other ways to love up and please each other. 

Just because you don’t make the game winning goal at the final buzzer, doesn’t mean you can’t play a good game and contribute to the success of the team.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Deejo said:


> Unfortunately, this often becomes a circular firing squad. As indicated in another thread by a female poster; where she makes it quite clear that women; despite best of intentions, DO take a man's ED issues personally. Which in turn all but guarantees more poor performance.


A lot depends on the context and the details here. 

Sure, a gal in her 20s is going to have a line-up of hard ones available to her and is probably not going to have the patience and wherewithal to deal with a chronic, severe ED issue for long.

But for mature women that understand the workings of such matters better, I am willing to bet that the vast majority of women that have a major issue with it is often due to the man’s behavior and how he is conducting himself when he doesn’t rise to the occasion.

If the guy himself is having a snit and throwing his arms up in a huff and stomping around like an imbecile, or worse yet, says or implies that she is doing something wrong, then yes, she is going to rightfully have a big issue. 

But if he keeps on loving her up and does his best to please and satisfy her and doesn’t make an issue of it himself, most normal, mature women are going to grant some leeway.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> Yes but the problem a lot of people get into is they start to treat it as an All-or-Nothing type thing to where if the 1% body part doesn’t rise to the occasion they don’t even try or put for any more effort into it.
> 
> The game is over before it even starts and they don’t even try to find other ways to love up and please each other.
> 
> Just because you don’t make the game winning goal at the final buzzer, doesn’t mean you can’t play a good game and contribute to the success of the team.





oldshirt said:


> A lot depends on the context and the details here.
> 
> Sure, a gal in her 20s is going to have a line-up of hard ones available to her and is probably not going to have the patience and wherewithal to deal with a chronic, severe ED issue for long.
> 
> ...


And a huge factor in how women will handle this depends on if the man is addressing the issue in a constructive and legitimate manner.

If a guy’s has a snit or blames her or simply gives up and pops another beer and plops is his lardass on the couch in front of the TV, She is rightly going to have a lot less patience and tolerance than if he addresses it in a positive and constructive manner.

If a guy determines to start eating right, exercising, managing his diabetes and hypertension and is seeking treatment and especially is putting his hands and tongue and toys to good work to please her, A woman is going to have a lot more patience and understanding than if he just stomps out in a huff and does nothing to actually address the issues.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

oldshirt said:


> A lot depends on the context and the details here.
> 
> Sure, a gal in her 20s is going to have a line-up of hard ones available to her and is probably not going to have the patience and wherewithal to deal with a chronic, severe ED issue for long.
> 
> ...


Well ... I can only attest that I made my claim based upon personal experience, with women aged 37 to 50. Like I said, they WANT to be understanding and believe it has nothing to do with them. But it was not an infrequent experience to start out in that arena of acceptance and understanding, yet after a few encounters where I didn't have an orgasm, or couldn't maintain, that the questions start. And the question behind the questions was almost always, "what am I doing wrong, that you aren't excited or can't get off? Are you not attracted to me?" Eventually either they decided to back out of the relationship, or I pulled the plug. In my dating that started after 2010 through 2014 I'd say that happened about 6 times. 

For my partners who didn't take it personally, there never ever seemed to be a lack of things to do that they were enthusiastic about that didn't involve PIV.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Changecage said:


> I have intermittent performance issues. I love having sex with my wife and was wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to incorporate ed into our sex life in a non-awkward way. right now, my wife is hesitant to initiate sex for fear of me not performing. I on the other hand have told her it's ok if I don't have penetrative sex as long as she is sexually satisfied.


Look into Cialis or it's generic equivalent. Unlike Viagra, you can take it in the morning and still be 'ready' 12 or 15 hours later. 

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

farsidejunky said:


> Look into Cialis or it's generic equivalent. Unlike Viagra, you can take it in the morning and still be 'ready' 12 or 15 hours later.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


Well actually using the "daily" dose of 2.5 or 5 mg intended to be taken the same time every day, you are ready always. It equals out to equivalent of a 10mg dose taken "as needed". I take the 5 mg every day after lunch. Works like a charm if don't want to be concerned about "schedule".

Anyway, viagra, cialis, Trimix, whatever. I still contend a man ought to be under care of competent doctor for any of this stuff. A lot of times the problem is other meds a person is taking, like hypertension meds. A lot of older men are taking a handful of pills, overweight, out of shape, in bad health. As the Cialis ad says "be sure your heart is healthy enough for sexual activity".


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> "be sure your heart is healthy enough for sexual activity".


But even if its not, what a way to go!!!


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> But even if its not, what a way to go!!!


Just ask Nelson Rockefeller. Oh sorry, he thought he as coming but he was actually going.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Learn to use your hands and incorporate marital aids if she values PIV a lot.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Rus47 said:


> Well actually using the "daily" dose of 2.5 or 5 mg intended to be taken the same time every day, you are ready always. It equals out to equivalent of a 10mg dose taken "as needed". I take the 5 mg every day after lunch. Works like a charm if don't want to be concerned about "schedule".
> 
> Anyway, viagra, cialis, Trimix, whatever. I still contend a man ought to be under care of competent doctor for any of this stuff. A lot of times the problem is other meds a person is taking, like hypertension meds. A lot of older men are taking a handful of pills, overweight, out of shape, in bad health. As the Cialis ad says "be sure your heart is healthy enough for sexual activity".


Of course you should consult a physician. The point was that the daily use is very effective.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

I wrote a way too wordy reply that I deleted. The cliff notes version is don’t make your wife initiate. For many women sex isn’t about climaxing, it is about being wanted and adored. If my husband said “I wish my **** would listen to my brain because you are so freakin hot” and then ravaged me from forehead to toe, taking a moment to verbally admire my parts - I would be over the moon. If HE initiated and acted like that then I wouldn’t have to worry if my initiating would make him feel bad for the ED or if my initiating (and rejection) would make ME feel bad about myself.


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## kh4OffRoad (9 mo ago)

farsidejunky said:


> Of course you should consult a physician. The point was that the daily use is very effective.
> 
> Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk


Fools. I took them all. Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. Levitra was actually the best for me. Until it was not. Viagra gave me all the side effects, with no result. Cialis gave me great results 9 hours after the fact… Levitra worked until it didn’t.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

kh4OffRoad said:


> Fools. I took them all. Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. Levitra was actually the best for me. Until it was not. Viagra gave me all the side effects, with no result. Cialis gave me great results 9 hours after the fact… Levitra worked until it didn’t.


What are your check-up/bloodwork results for testosterone levels, cholesterol, etc if you've actually been to a physician? 
Are you overweight, do you exercise regularly?


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

kh4OffRoad said:


> Fools. I took them all. Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. Levitra was actually the best for me. Until it was not. Viagra gave me all the side effects, with no result. Cialis gave me great results 9 hours after the fact… Levitra worked until it didn’t.


We are the 'fools'? 

If none of the meds work, what did the doctor say? In my personal case, T injection is what was needed to fix the problem. Before that, sometimes PDE5 inhibitors didn't do anything but give side effects. As I said originally, there are a lot of causes for these problems and just taking a pill without a diagnosis may not solve anything.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Rus47 said:


> We are the 'fools'?
> 
> If none of the meds work, what did the doctor say? In my personal case, T injection is what was needed to fix the problem. Before that, sometimes PDE5 inhibitors didn't do anything but give side effects. As I said originally, there are a lot of causes for these problems and just taking a pill without a diagnosis may not solve anything.


I get the sense that OP thinks he knows it all, indicating he doesn't really want to solve the problem for some unknown reason.

@kh4OffRoad is there anything else you are holding back, that is closer to other foundational problems?


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I get the sense that OP thinks he knows it all, indicating he doesn't really want to solve the problem for some unknown reason.
> 
> @kh4OffRoad is there anything else you are holding back, that is closer to other foundational problems?


Well in first reply to original post he gave excellent advice and opined he had personal experience dealing with ED and had been successful. So am not sure what this latest is about.


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## kh4OffRoad (9 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I get the sense that OP thinks he knows it all, indicating he doesn't really want to solve the problem for some unknown reason.
> 
> @kh4OffRoad is there anything else you are holding back, that is closer to other foundational problems?


Yea I guess my reply was poorly written. But it’s out there now. All I meant to say was it doesn’t always work the way it’s supposed to. Also that you never know which one will work best for you. I take a medicine that has killed natural endeavors…. So I have now been put on Tri-mix if I want some fun.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

kh4OffRoad said:


> So I have now been put on Tri-mix if I want some fun.


Which is a perfectly good solution for many men. It has advantage that it is dosed where needed doesn't circulate throughout the body, it is quick-acting, doesn't upset the stomach, has no side-effects. And, it is the oldest of the ED treatments, so lot of clinical information and nearly every urologist is familiar with it. My problem with tri-mix is we are active every day, sometimes twice in a 24 hour period and trimix is only to be used three times in a week. I know, there are some posts on here talking about using it every day, adding viagra to it, etc etc. I am talking about the recommended dosages.

The issue I had was with the particular doctor, who wanted me to inject Quadra-mix right then in his office to impress me with how well it worked the first time he had ever seen me. No discussion, no medical history, no asking drugs I was taking, no diagnostic testing. I told him the visit was over and walked out.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

@Changecage, have any of these responses been helpful at all? Have you set up any appointments with a competent urologist? IMO that is the first step. Take the wife with you if she will go, or at least invite her and tell her why you are making the appointment. That helps defuse the "He isn't into me anymore" thoughts running through her head.


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## SALLYMAE (9 mo ago)

Changecage said:


> I have intermittent performance issues. I love having sex with my wife and was wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to incorporate ed into our sex life in a non-awkward way. right now, my wife is hesitant to initiate sex for fear of me not performing. I on the other hand have told her it's ok if I don't have penetrative sex as long as she is sexually satisfied.


I am a wife, who for 18 yrs, havent had sex with husband. incorporated mutual masterbation. Rather horny, but since i stopped it, he continues. Rather odd !!! Wouldnt you say ?


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## SALLYMAE (9 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> @Changecage, have any of these responses been helpful at all? Have you set up any appointments with a competent urologist? IMO that is the first step. Take the wife with you if she will go, or at least invite her and tell her why you are making the appointment. That helps defuse the "He isn't into me anymore" thoughts running through her head.


what do you do when your husband hasnt had sex with you for 18 yrs, tells you , youre fat and ugly, then when he decides, 18 yrs later, to ask for oral sex, i say .... no. And he says.... then ill go somewhere else. but im a *****, if i do.


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## SALLYMAE (9 mo ago)

HELP, NO SEX FOR 18 YRS


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## SALLYMAE (9 mo ago)

Bluesclues said:


> I wrote a way too wordy reply that I deleted. The cliff notes version is don’t make your wife initiate. For many women sex isn’t about climaxing, it is about being wanted and adored. If my husband said “I wish my **** would listen to my brain because you are so freakin hot” and then ravaged me from forehead to toe, taking a moment to verbally admire my parts - I would be over the moon. If HE initiated and acted like that then I wouldn’t have to worry if my initiating would make him feel bad for the ED or if my initiating (and rejection) would make ME feel bad about myself.


RIGHT ON !!!!


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## woodyh (Oct 23, 2015)

Yes, get a doctor visit, ED drugs works wonders. Also, don't be afraid to incorporate mutual masturbation and sex toys!


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

moncayoruben369 said:


> what do you do when your husband hasnt had sex with you for 18 yrs, tells you , youre fat and ugly, then when he decides, 18 yrs later, to ask for oral sex, i say .... no. And he says.... then ill go somewhere else. but im a ***, if i do.


Well this is way over the line. And way beyond an ED problem. He has been abusing you emotionally for 18 years. Why you put up with it is a question. ED is when a man wants to have PIV with his wife but cant perform. Different situation from yours

When I started having occasional problems, in my 70s, the first thing I did was to emphasize to the wife that I had a problem that had nothing to do with my attraction to her. She would do her best, but sometimes to no avail


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## Changecage (Jan 14, 2020)

Changecage said:


> I have intermittent performance issues. I love having sex with my wife and was wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to incorporate ed into our sex life in a non-awkward way. right now, my wife is hesitant to initiate sex for fear of me not performing. I on the other hand have told her it's ok if I don't have penetrative sex as long as she is sexually satisfied.


Thanks everyone for your responses. I am not frequently on here so take it for what it is. I'm not a know it all. 

A little bkground: I have been to a Dr. I have a script. I am healthy work out 3x a week on no meds but have slightly elevated BP and cholesterol. my wife and I try to have date nights and keep things fresh. I am just trying to keep our marriage healthy and strong.

Tbh, most of the posts missed the mark. I posted to get ideas not medical recommendations. I want her to be comfortable with being spontaneous not a slave to a pills schedule (I realize there were couple Daily dose advocates...ty) Thanks to the one post that talked about loving your wife's body not just having sex and the other posters who had similar sentiments. Again just looking for ideas on incorporating ed _as part_ of our love life. I'll check in in a week to see how big of a **** storm this post causes lol.


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## kh4OffRoad (9 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> Which is a perfectly good solution for many men. It has advantage that it is dosed where needed doesn't circulate throughout the body, it is quick-acting, doesn't upset the stomach, has no side-effects. And, it is the oldest of the ED treatments, so lot of clinical information and nearly every urologist is familiar with it. My problem with tri-mix is we are active every day, sometimes twice in a 24 hour period and trimix is only to be used three times in a week. I know, there are some posts on here talking about using it every day, adding viagra to it, etc etc. I am talking about the recommended dosages.
> 
> The issue I had was with the particular doctor, who wanted me to inject Quadra-mix right then in his office to impress me with how well it worked the first time he had ever seen me. No discussion, no medical history, no asking drugs I was taking, no diagnostic testing. I told him the visit was over and walked out.


Yea, I was lucky to have already seen my dr a few months prior to getting put on the sauce. I will say having erections that are borderline going too long is no fun. I’m still figuring out the right dose, I’m praying that I never have to have a dr deflate it! That’s the stuff of nightmares!! I have been close 2x. That’s why there’s no way in h*ll I would ever recommend someone take both a pill and injection, that’s a real recipe for disaster!!


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

kh4OffRoad said:


> Yea, I was lucky to have already seen my dr a few months prior to getting put on the sauce. I will say having erections that are borderline going too long is no fun. I’m still figuring out the right dose, I’m praying that I never have to have a dr deflate it! That’s the stuff of nightmares!! I have been close 2x. That’s why there’s no way in h*ll I would ever recommend someone take both a pill and injection, that’s a real recipe for disaster!!


I have read that *pseudoephedrine HCl* should be kept on hand by anyone dosing bi-mix, tri-mix, or quadra-mix. Supposedly it will counteract in most cases so trip to the ER isn't necessary. Yes the priapism is a real risk, but it is also a risk with the PED5 inhibitors. Take too high a dosage, or double up ( as some posters have mentioned ) and ER might be in future.

I am thankful that my entire issue was solved with HRT, 150 mg every two weeks and am like when was 20. The only issue will be matching the wife if and when she slows down.

Apologies, since none of this was actually what OP was asking guess this is a T/J.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> One of the issues people run into is they become very penis and intercourse-centric in their sexuality. To them sexuality = PIV intercourse and only intercourse = sexuality.
> 
> This is very short sighted as the penis is only one body part and per standard medical burn charts only makes up about 1% of the body surface area no matter how hung you are.
> 
> ...


all true and good, but most women (every one that I have ever been with) want


Rus47 said:


> Well actually using the "daily" dose of 2.5 or 5 mg intended to be taken the same time every day, you are ready always. It equals out to equivalent of a 10mg dose taken "as needed". I take the 5 mg every day after lunch. Works like a charm if don't want to be concerned about "schedule".
> 
> Anyway, viagra, cialis, Trimix, whatever. I still contend a man ought to be under care of competent doctor for any of this stuff. A lot of times the problem is other meds a person is taking, like hypertension meds. A lot of older men are taking a handful of pills, overweight, out of shape, in bad health. As the Cialis ad says "be sure your heart is healthy enough for sexual activity".


I take the 5 mg cialis daily as well (btw, my doctor gave me a trick, if your insurance won't cover it, download the Good RX app and it's like $10), and it works for the most part, but I can't do the things wife wants me to with just that. If I take about 25mg of viagra as well, it tends to do the trick.


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## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

Rus47 said:


> I have read that *pseudoephedrine HCl* should be kept on hand by anyone dosing bi-mix, tri-mix, or quadra-mix. Supposedly it will counteract in most cases so trip to the ER isn't necessary. Yes the priapism is a real risk, but it is also a risk with the PED5 inhibitors. Take too high a dosage, or double up ( as some posters have mentioned ) and ER might be in future.
> 
> I am thankful that my entire issue was solved with HRT, 150 mg every two weeks and am like when was 20. The only issue will be matching the wife if and when she slows down.
> 
> Apologies, since none of this was actually what OP was asking guess this is a T/J.


How long you've been on HRT? I had that honeymoon phase with it also, but after the first year or so, it kind of weaned off. I'm probably back to where I was, but I take about half of what you take.


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## kh4OffRoad (9 mo ago)

Rus47 said:


> I have read that *pseudoephedrine HCl* should be kept on hand by anyone dosing bi-mix, tri-mix, or quadra-mix. Supposedly it will counteract in most cases so trip to the ER isn't necessary. Yes the priapism is a real risk, but it is also a risk with the PED5 inhibitors. Take too high a dosage, or double up ( as some posters have mentioned ) and ER might be in future.
> 
> I am thankful that my entire issue was solved with HRT, 150 mg every two weeks and am like when was 20. The only issue will be matching the wife if and when she slows down.
> 
> Apologies, since none of this was actually what OP was asking guess this is a T/J.


We’re you given pseudoephedrine HC? Sorry for the T/J


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Mybabysgotit said:


> all true and good, but most women (every one that I have ever been with) want
> 
> 
> I take the 5 mg cialis daily as well (btw, *my doctor gave me a trick, if your insurance won't cover it, download the Good RX app and it's like $10*), and it works for the most part, but I can't do the things wife wants me to with just that. If I take about 25mg of viagra as well, it tends to do the trick.


My local grocery pharmacy sells it for $10. Your wife must be really demanding.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

kh4OffRoad said:


> We’re you given pseudoephedrine HC? Sorry for the T/J


I never used any of the mixes. I use Cialis 5mg daily as a BP med mainly. With the HRT really don't need any PDE5 inhibitor. I have read that person using a mix should have the drug on hand in case the damn thing wont deflate for more than 2 hours. At about 3 hours it is time to head to the ER pronto to get blood drained.

The stuff we do for sex


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Mybabysgotit said:


> How long you've been on HRT? I had that honeymoon phase with it also, but after the first year or so, it kind of weaned off. I'm probably back to where I was, but I take about half of what you take.


I have only been on it for 2 years. I think over time a man's gonads make less, so maybe dosage has to be increased. Also conversion of the free T to estrogen can become a problem. So far all of my blood tests are on target, and actually am planning to cut dosage back to 100 mg, hornier than need to be. I think trying to manage T manually is more difficult than using time release pellets. But at my age, this is all I plan doing it works for me and is cheap.

I am going to stop posting about this. If you need more info post to my profile convo.


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## Deguello (Apr 3, 2015)

Changecage said:


> Thanks everyone for your responses. I am not frequently on here so take it for what it is. I'm not a know it all.
> 
> A little bkground: I have been to a Dr. I have a script. I am healthy work out 3x a week on no meds but have slightly elevated BP and cholesterol. my wife and I try to have date nights and keep things fresh. I am just trying to keep our marriage healthy and strong.
> 
> Tbh, most of the posts missed the mark. I posted to get ideas not medical recommendations. I want her to be comfortable with being spontaneous not a slave to a pills schedule (I realize there were couple Daily dose advocates...ty) Thanks to the one post that talked about loving your wife's body not just having sex and the other posters who had similar sentiments. Again just looking for ideas on incorporating ed _as part_ of our love life. I'll check in in a week to see how big of a **** storm this post causes lol.


I have some ED issues.that said,we have talked about tantric sex, orgasmic meditation non penetive sex. But with having sex so often 3 times this year.I have done some research but she has not. It is not important to her to explore


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Changecage said:


> I have intermittent performance issues. I love having sex with my wife and was wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to incorporate ed into our sex life in a non-awkward way. right now, my wife is hesitant to initiate sex for fear of me not performing. I on the other hand have told her it's ok if I don't have penetrative sex as long as she is sexually satisfied.


I think you are on the right track. Been there had that. What you do is up to you as we are all different. Talk it through and get suggestions from your wife and you also use your imagination. Everyone has fantasies and this may be a chance to try things out so long as you both agree. Sex isn't love but should be done in love whatever it is. My wife comes practically every time with what we do. Presumably you have had your children so now is the time to have fun but only between you and your spouse.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Learn to use your hands and incorporate marital aids if she values PIV a lot.


She may not like that or at least mine didn't. She didn't want any false penises in her.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

Deguello said:


> I have some ED issues.that said,we have talked about tantric sex, orgasmic meditation non penetive sex. But with having sex so often 3 times this year.I have done some research but she has not. It is not important to her to explore


Three times a year often? Be careful you don't overdo it. Only joking. It's the same with my wife. I did all the research but in the end I don't really do PIV. Sometimes I will lay on her and come which she seems to like but normally we do other things.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Tony Conrad said:


> She may not like that or at least mine didn't. She didn't want any false penises in her.


I think a lot of women only use them on their clitoris anyway.


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