# has anyone here reconciled with their spouse after they left you to be with OM/OM?



## tigercat

Has anyone here had a spouse leave and choose the OM/OW, and then down the road realize they made a mistake and came back?

If so how long did it take for them to realize their mistake? Did they finally realize their mistake because the OM/OW dumped them and their fantasy ended?


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## colour-me-confused

My husaband left me for OW. I didn't even know about her until weeks after the separation. He realized his mistake after about 4 months (while he was still seeing another girl) but I was not ready to forgive him and I did not want him back then. We became friends over several weeks. We went back and fourth a lot. After about 14 months of sepration we reconciled and just moved back into together 2 weeks ago. I love my husband a great deal. I forgave him for what he did and i do not use it against him at every turn but i do still find it hard to trust him all the time. Its one of the things we need to work on. Along with a lot of other stuff too. Forgiving a cheating spouse is incredibly hard. Rebuilding trust is even harder. Only you can decide if it is right for you though. I never thought I'd be the one to forgive someone who cheated on me. But I think my marriage and my family are worth every effort on my part. I beleive I can truly move past this as long as my husband and i work together to do it and rebuild our relationship. 
I wish you luck and joy. Remember not to worry about how others will preceive you or jusdge. This is your life and you must live it for yourself.


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## Mindful Coach

I've worked with couples that have been in that situation that have reconciled and have happier then ever. It takes some deep work for both partners. 

I would strongly suggest some sort of professional help to get through it. Here is my free eBook on Rebuilding and Strengthening Trust, you don't have to register or give any information for it. It was designed around work I've done with couples in that situation along with other issues. http://www.inspir3.com/download/Rebuild-and-Deepen-Trust-in-Your-Relationship.pdf


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## Pwrpf01

Thank you for the great info and that there is a positive side to this type of situation. I am doing this to my STBXH. I am the one that wants to try out a relationship w/ someone else. But my STBXH is showing me that he is completely wanting to change his old (bad) habits/ways. Since I have come out about a divorce 7 months ago, he says he has realized that he wants to be a family man and put us 1st now. The problem is that now I feel like I'm done & started to appreciate somebody else. But I know that I still do love my husband. I'm afraid that he's going to go back to his old ways and then the OM I feel so good about will not want anything to do with me.
I know a lot of people that will read this will call me a dumb b!%*# for not wanting to give my husband another chance. My situation is definitely stressful and I wish I had a crystal ball!!


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## Warrior44

YES!!!

Here's my story.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/reconciliation-stories/34221-my-unbelieveable-story-must-read.html


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