# What to do?



## maupuiamuppets (Jul 1, 2012)

Hello,

First time poster but have been reading a few of these threads for the past month.

A bit of history on my story. We have been married for 10 years, have three girls. She is from Canada (where we live) and I from New Zealand. We met overseas, got serious quick, married within 5 months and now looking at a long-term separation.

About a month ago we starting arguing. She said I play video games too much (true) had lost touch with some of my friends (also true) and she wanted someone more exciting to share her life with. We both got into a rut and the relationship to be fair was a bit stagnant.

Since that shock, i stopped playing video games cold turkey, reconnected with lost friends, and basically did everything I could to show her that I wanted this union between us to work. But it did not

After being told she wanted a divorce because she no longer loved me she went to Vegas for a week with her girlfriend. It was torture at first but it gave me quality time with my girls, I put a deposit on an apartment and started getting ready to move out.

When she came back she was pretty cold to me still; she did not want to get back together even after the time apart. My friends said I needed legal advice due to the kids (she wanted full custody) so I met with a lawyer and my options were pretty good. When I got home she wanted to know what I had found out through the lawyer and I told her it was confidential. She got really upset; started get mad at me and to cut a long story short said she wanted to try again. I was shocked but very receptive to the offer, i accepted quickly and the next 2 days was great. The third day she was quiet and I asked her if she was ok; she said I was suffocating her and she wanted a separation again. 

The past 7-10 days it has been like living with 5 different people. She cut her hair, bought new clothes, goes out later partying a lot and I told her she is even neglecting the kids (which did not go down well). I don't have a problem with her going out but she is going out so much I feel like a single Dad. It feels because we got married so quick she is missing out on her early partying years and just wants to experience it before its to late.

She now says she still loves me, but gets jealous of other women easily. Her solution. She wants me to move out again and we could try dating for a few months to see if we can re-connect.

I would move out again but I would miss the kids and why should I move out anyway if she is the one that wants out.

I have realized that I do love her but not the person she has become. She does have a history of mental illness but I don't know if this is just a reoccurrence or not.

Any advice would be welcome; I realize that people change but it seemed like she changed so fast that it was almost pre-planned

Thanks All

David


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

maupuiamuppets said:


> She now says she still loves me, but gets jealous of other women easily. Her solution. She wants me to move out again and we could try dating for a few months to see if we can re-connect.
> 
> *In other words she wants to date others and screw around to see if she can find a better replacement for you. If she fails she'll come back to you.*
> 
> ...


Instead of giving her full custody why not go for 50/50?


----------

