# Men, if you do *not* look at porn, why is that?



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

In an age where so many men do look at it, would those of you who do not please explain why?


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Cat videos.


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## Duguesclin (Jan 18, 2014)

jld said:


> In an age where so many men do look at it, would those of you who do not please explain why?


1. It does not respect women

2. It is an unnecessary distraction to my sexual life. You, my wife, are much better than porn.

3. They are only 24h in a day, and I have much better things to do.


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## 00buck (Jun 2, 2016)

Duguesclin said:


> 1. It does not respect women
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Along with these 3 I agree with, I'll add-

I feel it can create false expectations as to what sex should be - for both partners. It just isn't "real". 

For the most part- I've got better things to do.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I have a beautiful girlfriend,why on earth would I need to watch some "actress"frothing at the mouth over some other losers ****.


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## rockon (May 18, 2016)

Believe it or not I get bored after a short time, especially Hollywood porn. It's almost laughable. And would it kill them to attend at least one professional acting class?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Duguesclin said:


> 1. It does not respect women
> 
> 2. It is an unnecessary distraction to my sexual life. *You, my wife, are much better than porn.*
> 
> 3. They are only 24h in a day, and I have much better things to do.


And you, my darling, are very affirming. 

And that is surely a huge reason our marriage has never been sexless.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

rockon said:


> Believe it or not I get bored after a short time, especially Hollywood porn. It's almost laughable. And would it kill them to attend at least one professional acting class?


Do you not follow the storyline.lol.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> Do you not follow the storyline.lol.


Have you seen the family Guy episode where Brian becomes a porn director?

Those were storylines


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Not sure if you mean ever or currently so I will admit , and with no shame, that I have looked at porn in the past.

The reason I don't currently is because I am well satisfied by my GF and have no reason


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

In all my years living at home I have never found any type of porn. With my dad it would have to be magazines since my parents don't have internet, mobile devices, or pay per view capable television.

However I do know my dads reading tastes run to military novels with a lot of sex. So maybe that's just more his way.

But I'm guessing he doesn't because my parents are very conservative Baptist and if he ever did use it and my mom ever found out she would kick him out immediately. And he'd never risk it.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

I believe i was around 10 or 11ish when i found a truely staggering collection of playboys at our equipment storage yard. That was a great summer...but, it got boring. I checked out other magazines and saw some John Holmes films (damn, that will make a young man feel ill-equipped)....watched as many tracey lords videos i could get my hands on....but once i had a girlfriend (first and longest other than my wife), we took each others V card....well, I was all about the real thing. That pretty much ended porn....just cant get into it...


.HOWEVER....when I first returned home from....my overseas unpleasentness....my wife and got some schr**ms....while we were waiting for...you know...the start of the adventure...i was flipping through channels and came across some skin-a-max porn....we watched that laughing like idiots until I was horse and almost threw up......ever since...porn gives us severe laughing fits. Kinda funny. 

I guess a good porn cure would be to watch it tripping balls...cause...its never the same after that...i guarantee it.

TL.DR. Porn is boring + too funny when combined with....other things.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

MarriedDude said:


> I believe i was around 10 or 11ish when i found a truely staggering collection of playboys at our equipment storage yard. That was a great summer...but, it got boring. I checked out other magazines and saw some John Holmes films (damn, that will make a young man feel ill-equipped)....watched as many tracey lords videos i could get my hands on....but once i had a girlfriend (first and longest other than my wife), we took each others V card....well, I was all about the real thing. That pretty much ended porn....just cant get into it...
> 
> 
> .HOWEVER....when I first returned home from....my overseas unpleasentness....my wife and got some schr**ms....while we were waiting for...you know...the start of the adventure...i was flipping through channels and came across some skin-a-max porn....we watched that *laughing like idiots* until I was horse and almost threw up......ever since...porn gives us severe laughing fits. Kinda funny.
> ...


Porn movies are terrible, I mean just terrible acted with fake women and generally over tanned guys lol. I don't really understand the fascination with those other than comedic value. Now the newer stuff on the internet runs from horrifying to sensual. They are more scene based then entire movies. I understand those much more.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Wolf1974 said:


> Porn movies are terrible, I mean just terrible acted with fake women and generally over tanned guys lol. I don't really understand the fascination with those other than comedic value. Now the newer stuff on the internet runs from horrifying to sensual. They are more scene based then entire movies. I understand those much more.


I agree....they are ridiculous.

Hard for me to keep a straight face.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Most porn is terrible. Maybe I'm weird, but I find all fetish stuff absurd. It doesn't bother me...nothing really does, but I don't get how you can get off to hang bangs, bukaki, foot stuff, arm pit stuff, whatever. I am not judging, just, I don't get it. Fake sex bores me too. Anything where the chick is making a face or they are in some Stengel contorted position or they angle it so I have to see deep inside her vagina. Meh. I prefer the amateur stuff, but even then, I am bored of it. Maybe I should just get my nuts cot off...the. I won't have to waste an hour at night to find something that gets the job done.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

jld said:


> In an age where so many men do look at it, would those of you who do not please explain why?



Speaking only for myself. When Mrs.CuddleBug actually had sex with me 3x per week, waaaaay back, that was enough for me to eliminate me looking at porn altogether.

So when I was really in the mood, she took care of me and my desire for porn is zero. Don't even think about it to be honest.

But when the sex is 1x month, then I do view porn from time to time, and get it out of my system. Not proud of this but doing nothing isn't an option either because I'll go crazy and probably hookup with hot ladies who just want regular sex type of a relationship. Don't want to cross that line.

To summarize, woman takes care of her mans needs, his desire for porn should be zero. Hes not sexually starved or horny you see and trying different sex helps even more.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Have you seen the family Guy episode where Brian becomes a porn director?
> 
> Those were storylines


HUGE Family Guy fan here. I don't think I ever laughed as hard as I did when I heard that one of Brian's past 'projects' was "Welcome to My Face." :grin2:


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> I agree....they are ridiculous.
> 
> Hard for me to keep a straight face.


I used to share an apt with two lesbians who are my best friends.One night we had been out drinking(a lot) and we started talking about porn movies.We went back to the apt block with my then gf and one of the girls borrowed a porn DVD from a neighbor and we started to watch it.I don't think I ever laughed as much as I did that night I'm laughing now as I type this.The two gay girls reenacted every move and my gf joined in enthusiastically,I was just a bystander.They were all fully dressed but when they started moaning loudly I just lost it,it was the funniest thing I ever saw.Why would anyone choose to watch this rubbish if they have a partner to have sex with?


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Way too many healthy things to keep my interest and not enough time for them...


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

anchorwatch said:


> Way too many healthy things to keep my interest and not enough time for them...


It's called having a life.


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## 71Climber (Dec 15, 2016)

I have lived an eternity looking at pornography, having become addicted to it as a pre-teen, when there was no internet, looking at magazines that I found at a neighbor's house. The combination of curiosity, naivete, and the lure and availability of such imagery was, looking back on it, the perfect storm, which certainly has produced consequences in my own life. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it would have such a hold, such power in my life. Developing sexuality is profoundly affected by such things, I can attest to that. Sadly, with the presence of the internet, and its ease and anonymity, not to mention the pervasiveness of it, exposure to it is inevitable. Being able to properly deal with the exposure, being able to be shepherded through it for those that are young, as I was, is absolutely critical. So, it is not to be toyed with, that is my experience.

Having said that, I have been on a journey of recovery from it for a few years now. This journey actually requires that I learn how to experience true intimacy, as God intended it to be. I haven't viewed pornography for quite some time, measured in a couple of years at this point. It no longer has a hold on me, as abstinence from it, as studies have proven, allow the brain to do some remodeling, and form new healthy pathways, those unhealthy pathways having been formed over the years. Honestly, I have zero desire to look at porn. I can see it for what it is now, and that is that it is unable to deliver what I desire most- INTIMACY. Porn sabotages that intimacy. Porn hijacked that in my case.

Rather than cultivating intimacy, it promotes pleasure. It absolutely devalues women, and makes them nothing more than instruments for pleasure for men. Within a relationship, the fantasy of porn can produce a relationship in which the central focus is self-gratification, at all costs, at the expense of any needs that your partner may have. It is easy to get caught up in a trance, wherein your greatest "need" is identified as sex, and the fulfillment of that need, at all costs, is the goal. Porn cannot peacefully coexist within marriage, as adultery of the eyes and mind steals intimacy from your partner. It was never intended to be a 3rd partner in the bedroom. 

If you've never looked at porn, stay away, and that's awesome! If you're struggling with it, do everything in your power to be free from it. My own freedom has come from hundreds of hours of counseling, group, retreats, reading, prayer, and the process known as sexual addiction recovery. Right now, as my other threads may attest, I am working through(alongside my wife), being able to begin to love my wife holistically, completely, differently, faithfully, honestly, not in the shadows, but in the light. I have to bring those things, those ideas about her, about us, etc, out into that light in order to overcome them. One thing that porn has done is cause me to have an obsession about imperfections in my wife's physical body, and to focus on her weight in an unhealthy way, rather than her essence. We're working through those things, beginning to understand them more and more. Sexual desire, attraction, enticement, passion-all those things are immensely important, but as I am beginning to relate differently to my wife, in the absence of porn, and in the presence of health, I am finding out that she's beginning to feel more comfortable around me, and wants the very same things that I do:smile2:


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

71Climber said:


> I have lived an eternity looking at pornography, *having become addicted to it as a pre-teen,* when there was no internet, looking at magazines that I found at a neighbor's house.


I'm curious...

Had you already masturbated BEFORE you discovered porn? If so, what was your frequency? 



> Rather than cultivating intimacy, it promotes pleasure. It absolutely devalues women, and makes them nothing more than instruments for pleasure for men. Within a relationship, the fantasy of porn can produce a relationship in which the central focus is self-gratification, at all costs, at the expense of any needs that your partner may have. It is easy to get caught up in a trance, wherein your greatest "need" is identified as sex, and the fulfillment of that need, at all costs, is the goal. Porn cannot peacefully coexist within marriage, as adultery of the eyes and mind steals intimacy from your partner. It was never intended to be a 3rd partner in the bedroom.


This part of your post I find to be very true WITH or WITHOUT the use of porn. There are a lot of people who simply see sex as something 'pleasurable' for themselves. When the focus is purely on the orgasm as the "goal" of sex, it takes away from the 'journey' of sex, which doesn't ALWAYS have to include orgasm. 

I have yet to find a man who feels the same way about it as I do.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Good lesson, @71Climber. 

Ty


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

My husband rarely looks at it.....maybe a handful of times a year. When I asked him why he doesn't look at it more often he said that he doesn't really get much out of it. He has to be really mentally tired and desperate for a release to dip into porn for stimulation. 

I kind of wonder if the difference in porn habits isn't also related to one's view of sex. For example, I wonder if those who view sex as an emotionally bonding experience are less porn friendly than those who view sex as more of a physical need that must be met. Would make for a good study.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

I watch porn but only infrequently as a release usually when Mrs. meson is on travel or unavailable.



Lila said:


> I kind of wonder if the difference in porn habits isn't also related to one's view of sex. For example, I wonder if those who view sex as an emotionally bonding experience are less porn friendly than those who view sex as more of a physical need that must be met. Would make for a good study.


This is true for me. When I do indulge its with something that shows couples connecting. Otherwise I find a large proportion of it repulsive and avoid most of it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I don't know IF my husband qualifies for this thread ....

Reasoning: PORN = "Masturbating to Erotic Images, videos"....

My husband never masturbates to erotic anything -he saves every release for me.. he's been this way our entire marriage.. however... when we met.. he had 300 Playboy magazines under his bed - I remember them ... he read many of those articles, this is where he learned about sex....he was never a Playboy and I was the 1st and only woman he has ever touched...

He "got off" on the pictures plenty back then- yes - typical teen male... he told me he stopped doing this when I starting putting my hands down his pants.. then as he described it - it became *"our thing"*... 

Though @jld used the word "LOOK" in her asking.. this disqualifies him from this thread... He is very visual and enjoys Looking.....when we got the net... that opened up a world of collecting, downloading... he was always saving files of playboy bunnies...

I was talking to him last night about this thread...half of him is not a User of porn (No Yanking / no getting off - he greatly loves the intimacy we share, always a generous giving lover)... yet he'll always enjoy Looking -doesn't matter how much sex we have...

So I asked him.. what in the world IS he...he's not like Most guys into Porn by any means....where does he fit....He response was "I am a Collector"....it's a hobby of his....some may call it porn, though he feels it's more *"Erotic Art"...*

He has no interest in seeing the up close penetration of a man & Women ... anything hardcore is a turn off to him.. he enjoys "Playboy type" still photos of beautiful women....many times we'll be in the same room when he's 'Collecting"....I'll be on here....he'll be doing his thing....he'll be this way until he day he hits dirt... 

One thing I can say about my husband is.. He's always been a true Gentleman..if anything.. he can't get ROUGH enough ... which has been one of my complaints.. he's just a little







.

My posting this in no way = I think Porn is Great.. use it.. be proud! Bottom Line... Intimacy is the lifeblood of every fulfilling marriage... if Porn is messing with this in any way.. if/ when a wife starts feeling she's not enough to satisfy... its NEVER NEVER NEVER Ok....it can be addictive, and destructive to a # of marriages...


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I don't know IF my husband qualifies for this thread ....
> 
> Reasoning: PORN = "Masturbating to Erotic Images, videos"....
> 
> ...


I have bought one episode of playboy in my life.It was the Marge Simpson one.lol.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Andy1001 said:


> I have bought one episode of playboy in my life.It was the Marge Simpson one.lol.


He bought them at garage sales when he was a teen (10, 25 cents each sorta thing)... not sure how his Mom didn't notice this, or maybe she just turned a blind eye... then turned around selling them to his friends at school for a few bucks each.... at least he wasn't wasting any money.. I can dig that.. Cleaning out his closest last week.. I found a stash.. a few collectors he kept.. but it's a small stash...

He considers Playboy classy.. everything else is not up to his liking, I guess. Opened a few "Hustlers" back in the day.. to him.. that was all trash , disrespectful and sick.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I am against prostitution.

I am convinced the porn industry is vile.

I despise the impact pornography had on me in my childhood, along with other issues.

I am spiritual, Christian.

I believe prostitution damages people.

I believe it is a pathetic weakness in human societies throughout history.

I despise weakness of character and lack of discipline.

I am also one of the biggest offenders having consumed unreal quantities of porn.

I am still occasionally tempted and it pisses me off!


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

> Men, if you do *not* look at porn, why is that?


Because we have to sleep sometime? 😬


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

ConanHub said:


> I am also one of the biggest offenders having consumed unreal quantities of porn.
> 
> I am still occasionally tempted and it pisses me off!


That's why books like this are written... Every Man's Battle: Every Man's Guide to Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) 

I am f** ed up myself.. as me & husband are both against casual sex , we feel it's wrong.. there should be emotional strings, love, devotion, a commitment ... yet we can't deny we like to look upon Erotic images - I am worse than he is..

One thing I love is when a couple is married...but even then.. it seems they share other bodies.. there is just something within us that is greatly turned on by the sex act... what to do about it.. shame ourselves everyday ?? I don't know.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> That's why books like this are written... Every Man's Battle: Every Man's Guide to Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series)
> 
> I am f** ed up myself.. as me & husband are both against casual sex , we feel it's wrong.. there should be emotional strings, love, devotion, a commitment ... yet we can't deny we like to look upon Erotic images - I am worse than he is..
> 
> One thing I love is when a couple is married...but even then.. it seems they share other bodies.. there is just something within us that is greatly turned on by the sex act... what to do about it.. shame ourselves everyday ?? I don't know.


I don't think shaming yourself works to a positive result.

I just calmly remember that I am not a proponent of prostitution and read TAM or literotica! LOL!

Porn is a little easier for me to avoid because Mrs. Conan and I have agreed it will not be a part of our marriage.

I don't feel bad about being tempted but probably wouldn't be tempted as often or as strongly if not for my past.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

jld said:


> In an age where so many men do look at it, would those of you who do not please explain why?




Because my wife is too busy re-enacting it with me. 
There are times when I do look at it but prefer watching videos I made of us, if she isn't around.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

I do watch porn, but maybe once or twice a month, and only for a couple of minutes (if you catch my drift...!)

It's a means to an end, and I have no desire to become an aficionado. I consider myself an extremely low-user of porn, to the point where it's virtually non-existent and has zero impact on my life, sexual or otherwise.

If I had a more frequent sex life, I'd have no use for it whatsoever. The once or twice a month it's used, it's simply for something different, when the imagination doesn't quite cut it, and visual stimulation is required.

If my wife had a problem with it, which she doesn't, then I likely wouldn't use it at all, nor would I miss it.

This may be contentious, but I liken it to a vibrator, or some other sex toy. I have no issue with my partner using one, on her own, should she choose, provided I am not 'available' (or available later), or generally in need of some sexual intimacy. If it's not a replacement for me, I'm cool with it.

But some people do still take issue with their (female) partner masturbating, especially with a toy. A vibrator can do things we can't. A dildo can be shaped, or be bigger, differently than what we have. Much like some people view porn use as their partner viewing people that do not look like them (ie. 'better').

So porn use, as well as vibrator/sex toy use all comes down to one person's insecurities about themselves. This is provided the usage is not chronic, over-the-top, obsessive, etc. and does not forgo a normal sex life with one's partner in lieu of the above. (ie. an addiction, for example).

I've mentioned here in the past that my ex wife did exactly this numerous times (that I know of) during our marriage. Turn me down for sex, only to subsequently masturbate almost immediately after. So I know what that feels like. We used to be on very different work schedules during that time, so I was in bed hours before she was. Numerous times I was rejected, only to hear her 5, 10, 15 minutes later in the next room, doing her best to be quiet, and probably assuming I was asleep. Yeah, that sucks, but that was also quite indicative of our over all relationship.

All I know is that porn, or sex toy use, or even straight up masturbation IS a substitute for actual sex - and that's okay from time to time, or certain circumstances. But when one person would rather do that than engage in sexual intimacy with their partner, that's not a good thing.

But if my partner owns sex toys, and uses them on her own and I get pissy about it, that's my own insecurities coming out (provided, of course, that we have a 'normal' sex life).


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

ConanHub said:


> I don't think shaming yourself works to a positive result.
> 
> I just calmly remember that I am not a proponent of prostitution and read TAM or literotica! LOL!
> 
> ...


I came to this forum, looking for a intelligent sex board.. most are flooding with incessant dirty joking and "causal" f**king...that's not my scene, never will be...so I landed here...yes.. this is my Literotica I guess...like you...

We've talked about this, he very much appreciates the fact I am OK with this hobby.. and it caused us more "at odds" when I was a Christian, feeling he was sinning against God & taking it so personal...that sure didn't help anything... but truth is.. EVEN THEN...always...I felt deeply loved & wanted by him...never once did he deny me ... he'd try to stay away.. then fall back into looking /collecting...but ya know what.. he IS the most affectionate, giving of his time.. never turns me down... I know I "do it" for him... I do not struggle with jealousy or he wants "those women" over me... no more than I would want a Playboy- even if they are HOT ....

So this just leaves the *moral component* to us.. I guess we all should feel guilty for something.. this is our BAD, this is our NAUGHTY.. this is our SIN... Look.. the stuff he is looking at is paying women Bu-coo bucks to pose...it's all PlayBoy .... these women are doing this of their own free will, some consider it *Erotic art*.. wouldn't even classify it as porn... . The only videos I could find he even cared for, when we rented...as he doesn't want to see the man at all.. is Andrew Blake style porn...similar to Playboy...very classy slowly taking it off , solo women ... . he also likes to watch strippers... what can I say.. I looked on the net for an old VHS he had when a teen, found it on Amazon & surprised him with it a few yrs back.... 

And Me.. I am only interested in "Sensual" / Romantic porn.... which is not easy to find.... My husband can't even watch a R rated movie with a rape scene in it... it boils his blood.. he thinks men like that should be killed...

I really have no desire to hold such strict standards on him or me.. I just don't... I consider us Low users, heck we don't even release to it ...even I haven't in over 7 yrs now...


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

My ex-h did not watch porn when we were in our relationship together, unless we were watching it together (which was rare, but fun on occasion). He had lived enough life and had enough sex and masturbation to know that porn interferes with your normal sexual responses to a real woman in front of you. He also knew it could interfere with my normal sexual responses and he did not want me to be watching it solo, either. It just wasn't worth it, even though seeing porn can cause a certain type of arousal that feels very pleasurable, that feeling wasn't important to us. There was far more overall pleasure in the intimacy we built together, and the arousal we created from genuinely allowing our bodies to do what they were intended to do was far superior to the type that is caused by viewing porn.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I came to this forum, looking for a intelligent sex board.. most are flooding with incessant dirty joking and "causal" f**king...that's not my scene, never will be...so I landed here...yes.. this is my Literotica I guess...like you...
> 
> We've talked about this, he very much appreciates the fact I am OK with this hobby.. and it caused us more "at odds" when I was a Christian, feeling he was sinning against God & taking it so personal...that sure didn't help anything... but truth is.. EVEN THEN...always...I felt deeply loved & wanted by him...never once did he deny me ... he'd try to stay away.. then fall back into looking /collecting...but ya know what.. he IS the most affectionate, giving of his time.. never turns me down... I know I "do it" for him... I do not struggle with jealousy or he wants "those women" over me... no more than I would want a Playboy- even if they are HOT ....
> 
> ...


I can't watch movies with rape scenes either.

I'm not your judge. But I will answer to mine.

$50 or $50,000 to take your clothes off is all showing your body for erotic stimulation which is prostitution for me anyway.

I didn't mean to hammer anyone with my post. I just gave very core reasons why I don't use porn.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

I have experienced just about every emotion there is on this topic. I have always practiced the religion I was raised in an obviously was taught that porn was bad. How I was taught was really not a deterent but just made me curious. 

There have been times in my life where I struggled with this issue and it consumed me at times. At other times I was free from it and I can say those have been the most peaceful times of my life.

When my W and I began to have issues pornography raised it's head in some really unexpected ways and because of those experiences I have come to view it as a very negative thing.


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