# Scared 'm going to lose everything



## Yorkyboy (Nov 8, 2012)

Hi folks this is my first post just joined,please beaware this is a long one sorry .
My first wife passed away in 1999.
I am in the U.K.

Wife I have now is 15 years my junior I am now 55 but look younger .

I moved up north from just outside London in 2004,after dating a woman for a year and traveling up and down the motorway every or most weekends,the day I completd on the house I purchased,the woman dumped me so I was stuck with having to move up after she dumped me I got chatting to another online lady and to my surprise the day I moved in after being in the house for just a few hours she turned up on my doorstep,we have been toghther ever since.
We stayed in my house for 3 months she would travel to and from work to the town she lived in,then I moved into hers and sold mine.

We then married in early 2005 and a 9 months later we had a lovely daughter,we had since sold her house and moved to a bigger house in the same town.
Things were great until 2008 when I was diagnosed with severe arthritis of the spine and was medically retired from work from a job that I had for 25 years.
after a while I was put on a morphine patch which I have to change every three days this is permanent along with a lot of other medicines about 20 pills a day.
I started to become addicted to the internet and was always online ,I would do a few things around the house and take and pick little one up from school,I never wanted to go out. about 6 monthas ago she said she wasn't happy and was looking at rented property for her and our daughter,I didn't really take it in and thought she was mucking around (rather silly of me I now know  ).
A few weeks ago she said she had had enough and didn't love me anymore I was shellshocked to put it mildly,she wanted me out to rent a 2 bed place and I would have daughter in morning take to school and pick up and she would collect her after work,we would then have her alternative weekends.
I was in complete shock and not ashamed to say couldn't stop crying like a baby and begging her to change her mind.
She agreed after a few days to try,I then one day got a call from her to go to her work and meet outside in my car which I did,she told me thst on one of her nights out a school reunion she had kissed and cuddled an old school mate,she did come in that morning at 4am wasted unlike her,she also said they had met at lunchtimes for a coffee a few times ,they work at same company local college.

I said it was okif that was as far as it had gone we all make silly mistakes when legless.

Now I totaly belive her that nothing else has happened,as she hasnt really had the oppuntity.

so we went on for a while longer and then she said it aint working after about 10 days ,no time really,we had to go out to a fireworks display with little one after a little while I had to go back into the club because of my back I saw some friends who asked how I was well I broke down in tears in the club house when she came in she saw how I was and said come on home now if she didn't care she would have let me stay and make a fool of myself in front of everyone.

Now we are starting again I am hopefull but not stupid,her sister died 2 months ago and it has and is hitting her hard,so I made her go to docs and she is going to have some councilling the doctor also said don't take it out on hubby, I am hoping this will help her and me.
I have also stopped my anti depressents as I feel it is this medicine which is causing me problems in the bedroom not being able to well you know,but I can please her in other ways which is good for her,never been so good because she also said we had become more like brother and sister because of my problem,I always had to make fiorst move she has never really taken the laed in these matters so we hadnt had sex for a good few months a good fair cuddles but not what counts,I am now able to rise a bit to the occasion but not keep it for real sex .

I just don't know what to do and am so scared because I adore the her every little bit of her I adore the ground she walks on and so on.
Now as I moved up north 200 + miles away from rest of my family and 2 elder girls and grandkids, it is hard for me as all my friends are hers,they seem to be siding with me because she done the same sort of thing to him and moved to the states to be with some one who sadlly passed away about 6 months after they met.
She hates the fact that her friends have turned on her not all of them but her best friends.

I couldn't move back down south I couldn't bare to be apart from her and little one I do see my family down south about 4 times a year.

I fear what will happen if this happens I have had suicidal thoughts and couldn't bare to see her with someone else or another man and my daughter,I would go into a cocoon again and I don't want that either.
I am just so lost and have noone really to talk to or help me through this.

Sorry for this very long message


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## LiamN (Nov 5, 2012)

Can you talk to your wife about how you feel? She is clearly not happy either. Perhaps you could talk to her about her needs and how you can help her fulfil those (these include her sexual needs). If you are concerned you may lose her then you must put your attention on how she can be emotionally satisfied while staying with you.


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