# What did I do wrong?



## amberlynn (May 24, 2009)

****sorry I really need to vent..really depressed****

My parents were married a year and had me and then they divorced when I was about 5 months old, from what I was told, my dad cheated on my mom and was abusive to her. Im not quite sure if thats the whole story, seeing how I've been told two different sides. My mom re-married when I was about a year old. My step dad raised me and he's the man I call Daddy.

The ink wasnt dry on the divorce papers and my dad married the woman he cheated on my mom with (the day after their divorce was final), he then joined the army to hide from debt collectors and the IRS. (so im told) While in the army, his wife cheated on him with his C.O. He gave my sister his last name, and raised her as his own. He then began the abuse on my step-mom as he did my mom. 

He's NEVER been there for me. He's now on his 3rd marriage, and raisen 3 kids (2 are his wife's from a previous marriage and 1 is from his previous marriage) that ARE NOT his and has more to do with them then the actual kid that is his...ME. 

I dont understand what it is I done so wrong for him to reject me. The only time I ever heard from him while growing up is when he needed a baby sitter. He now lives in Tn, he never calls, writes or emails. If he wasnt court ordered to pay child support, he wouldnt have paid it. He had visitation rights and half the time he wouldnt even come and get me. Father's day came around, and dad was a no show. 

I wanna know what I done that was so horrible for him to not want anything to do with me. He came all the way into Alabama to pick up a kid (my step-brother) thats NOT his but couldnt come a bit further into Georgia to see me and his grandchild. I dont know if I should give up and just stop trying or keep trying and pray he comes around. Im almost 21 years old and I still make the same birthday wish every year.. Ive tried so hard and Im to a point that I dont want to try anymore. What do I do? What did I do to deserve a father that doesnt care about his only daughter?


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## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

I could have posted this exact same thing.. well almost.

My parents divorced when I was 4 months old.. my mother remarried, and my stepfather adopted me when I was 3. I carried his last name until i got married. He has always been my daddy.

They never hid the fact from me about my real dad. My mother even gave me pictures of him when I was 13 because I was curious. I always wanted to know who he was.. and actually ached to meet my real father.

So when I turned 18 I searched for him. Found him living in a town only and hours drive away from me. Working as a bartender in an "Olive Garden". I surprised him I guess and showed up there where he worked... cuz thats all I know of him.

The frist words he said to me was.. "I hope you didn't come looking for me for money, cuz I don't have any"

I was P*SSED. Yeah I came to the friggin olive garden for money you dummy!! geezus....

Now that I've grown up more I realize, my step father was always there for me. He took care of me.. and loved me. He's all I need.

So P*ss on the "biological fathers" who can just toss away their children.. I'm better off without him... and so are you!!


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## amberlynn (May 24, 2009)

I just dont get it tho...i never asked for anything but to know my "biological father" and he's never givin me the chance. The only thing I remember that he actually done as a family thing is take me and my little sister to six flags in Atlanta. Im so lost, my husband says to just give up.. I remember one weekend he stopped by to pick me up and he was pissy drunk... what kinda father does that... hes now covered in tatoos.. he wasnt like that until he married the woman hes married to now..he's even got piercings... i havent seen him in 2 years. I would go to see him befor he moved and he done nothin but watch tv... we wouldnt talk..nothing...if we did talk he would try his best to get me and my husband to move in with him to raise the baby... but i think that was just for taxes.. its so sad...i dont think i will ever understand what i done so wrong.. My step-dad has always been there for me, he tried to adopt me, but my biological father wouldnt sign over his rights.. ill never understand why seein how he doesnt care much for me, atleast i can honestly say i have a man i can call Daddy, and it actually mean something. Hes always been in my corner.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

It's not you, it's him, he is a loser and a selfish bastard.

he feels guilty for leaving you.

I could never break my kids hearts like that.

I lost my father when I was one, but he died, i never had nor I will ever have the chance to get to know him. I understand he was a good man and people that knew him and see me with my children say, I remind them of him and that I am a great father.

Sorry your dad is a loser, just be the best parent you can possibly be to your child.


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## LaBella (Mar 9, 2009)

My story is similar to yours, my parents divorce when I was 3 and my brother 5 yo, my Bio-Dad, when back to his HS sweetheart. My mom pack my brother and me and moved back to her country, my DAD was never given Child Suppport orders from court, I was not the thing back on the early 70s, but he voluntarily agreed to give my mom $150 a month for both of us, and all the benefits of the military children. But he never ever called us or try to see us ever again. My mom remarried and my stepdad raised us, he never adopted us because my mom refused to let my father wash his hands completely of us. My B-day is 2 days before his, he had never send a B-day card or anything like that, he once sent one B-day card to my DB when turn 16.

My Father does not have any other children of his own, it is just my DB and me, his wife had 3 girls whom he helped raise. I remember seeing a letter from father when I was about 14 yo, when he decided that my DB was old and was cutting the CS in 1/2 since it was only me, and warning mom that, that 1/2 was only going to be for about 1 more year. Also, in the same letter asking my mom why if she had remarried she had not let her new hubby adopt us, that he would have happily given up his rights. My mom called him up and they had a big fight where she told him that we were his only kids and he was going to have to live with knowing that we had his last name and he would always have responsibilities to us whether he like it or not.

When my DB decided to move back to the US and join the army he moved in with Dad and wife, but was not really welcomed there so DB lasted 3 months and went back home. When I married and moved to the US, mom asked me to contact him and try to have a relationship with him since he is my bio-father. When I did, I received a 4 page letter were he blasted at MOM and told me that MOM was the biggest piece of trash you can find. I was so mad that cut him off my life completely. My DB join the AF a few years later, when we all moved back to the US and was stationed close to him, they kept a little bit of contact, but ME, I have not even seeing him in person and to be honest, good ridance. If he does not care to meet his only biological daughter and his grandchildren, then my life is a lot more richer for it.

Don't feel that it is you, GA is right, it is his lost, he is the selfish b*****d and he will pay for it later in life. Don't worry about him and be grateful that a person like that decided to step off your life and make you a better person. Appreciate your stepdad, I appreciate mine, and get rid of him completely it is not worth it, for you and your selfesteem, your life is a lot richer without him in it.

Good Luck


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