# alcohol + weed + porn. do I even have a chance?



## Maria9938

5 years later and we are still together but I've seriously considered ending our marriage at least once.

He drinks daily, has beat 2 DUI cases, and had his license suspended for a year. Now that he got it back he goes out to bars at least 3x a week.

He gets high with his best friend a minimum of 2x week. The friend has an endless supply of weed. I'm pretty sure he sells it.

I found his porn stash on his computer. It's a crazy amount. I don't know if he still watches it, but I know he has it.

I want him to quit all of this. So we have a fundamental disagreement. He's a super overachiever in spite of this, so he doesn't see anything wrong with it. 

Do I really even stand a chance in this relationship? Please be honest.


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## WadeWilson

You can try to talk to him if you seriously want to work it out...
I wish I could say it's just a phase but if youre dealing with three issues it's a hard fight...
If he don't wan to talk it out, then you can sit waiting for him to grow up...
Or you can say after five years you already know, trust me he gonna tell you that you were fine with it in the beginning, even if in the beginning you said you were not... 
You showed it by staying with him...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AgentD

For 16 years I was married to an alcoholic, I still am. However he went and got help and is now a recovering alcoholic who attends AA regular and is doing well. So if your husband is drinking, and smoking weed and has a big ol stash of porn, you have your work cut out for you if you plan on staying. He doesn't just have one addiction it seems, it seems he has a few. I'm not saying by no means to give up on your marriage, and you can't force him t get help if he doesn't want it. However, you can take care of you. I would suggest counseling for yourself and if you have to possibly remove yourself from the situation for a bit then you just do. Think of yourself.


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## woodstock

Sounds like my ex's 19 year old son to a T. Some peope never learn to grow up. When my ex acted like a child I told him if I wanted to be with a child I would be with his kid... At a certain point it is not unheard of to expect a person to act their age. Also, keep in mind that his offences WILL affect your life.. your car insurance, your legal fees... some things are not worth the risk, and a manchild who won't grow up is one of those things.


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## Prodigal

Maria9938 said:


> I want him to quit all of this. So we have a fundamental disagreement. He's a super overachiever in spite of this, so he doesn't see anything wrong with it.
> 
> Do I really even stand a chance in this relationship? Please be honest.


If he doesn't see what he is doing as a problem, he certainly isn't going to listen to anything you have to say about it. He obviously doesn't want to quit.

No, you don't stand a chance in a relationship where what he is doing is fine by him, but is causing you pain and heartache. Actually, I don't think at this point you have much of a relationship with a man who prefers going out to bars and getting stoned with his buddies.


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## lovexlife

...i have been posting about my boyfriend's drinking problem, so i can't compare with the other two, but the drinking, yes, i know where you're coming from. mine is working late tonight, but tomorrow will be the day where i calmly bring up the situation. he needs to realize that this IS A PROBLEM. wether he believes it or not. i think you should do the same... i mean, to us, we dont understand how they cant see that they have a problem. its almost a no brainer for us... i guess you could call me naive. i dont know what its like to be addicted. i have no idea what it feels like or how it happens... all i know is how it affects the people around you. im LIVING it... and clearly, so are you.... the porn thing.. i dont know... i had an ex who was addicted to porn. i cleared his computer system 3 times.. and each time, he re-downloaded it ALL. even after all three times, asking him to choose me or the porn.... PORN always came first... unfortunately, no. they dont change. its one of those things tht never ever goes away. makes my heart hurt for you sweetheart


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## Maria9938

Well thanks for your honest opinions. I've been dealing with this for a while by myself, so its nice to know that I'm alone. 

I really need to take care of me. Thanks.


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## sumo

EVERYONE has a huge porn collection, it is nothing personal(well it is, it is nice if you respect a persons privacy, or if he doesn´t mind then surf around, maybe you´ll find something you might like) Smoking twice a week with a friend doesn´t seem that awful, have you tried smoking with him? Going to bars 3 times a week next to smoking twice is a bit much maybe he could make it once or twice(if the week lasted 10 days then 3 would be ok) overachieving next to 3 bar visits is quite an achievement(regarding time constraints) drinking daily to me seems to be the only problematic part of your problem. To all of you who say that the guy should grow up, you might want to reconsider settling down and having your life at a standstill.


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