# Anger ..... ReActivated.



## Stone_Dagger (Mar 4, 2011)

Its been a few weeks and i didn't post because i took in all the advice i got from a lot of you and i was also handling my business with my Military career moving forward.

So without posting a small novel here is the Update.

I took the main advice of "Calming" myself down first.
That was difficult in itself but the physical strain from the GYM Helped.

I waited to see how long it would take my "Wife" to confront me and speak on this issue and after 10days from the find i couldn't take it anymore. So i confronted her. Sat her down at the dinner table and squeezed for information from her lying mouth.

She claims there was never a PA...yet she didn't understand the fact that her 3 month verbal relationship was a EA ... and after 40min of calm conversation i had to help her realize she had an affair.

Once again i as a Man stood up and put this sh*t on my back and walked with it. I gave her stipulations as mentioned by Tamara and a few others. Shut down email addresses (Although i felt that was still b.s because you can open another) and Change her Cell phone number, And i even told her that the Social networking is done with as well so in her face we went on Facebook and Deleted her account.

Note: A Facebook account NEVER can be fully deleted..You can make it Inactive but as soon as u log back in everything is where u left it. So i deleted it and the next day at work i reactivated it and changed the password then Deactivated it again.

Thats that.

Now 2 weeks have passed and i wont say things are 100% better because i have a side eye open. Im acting as if im cool and i'm tryna just keep the "Family" close but half of me is just waiting for the f*ck up again.

So here we are 2 weeks later and i'm at work.
Next week i go to enlist into the military and i'm trying to mentally prepare myself. She has been asking when i go to my enlistment but truthfully i don't think she deserves to be there. I want everyone there that has inspired me to do this and she is not one of those people. But i just sucked it up and told her when im going.

So im just on my laptop killing time and something says do a search and see if her Facebook is available threw a google search. I look her up..I find it. Now i'm confused.

So i try to Log in as her but the New password I only know wont except...so i try again & it says your password was updated March 14th...We had this discussion on March 9th and i changed her password on March 10th. ... .... .... This F*cking Sneaky B***H! 

R. U. Fcking Serious.

So i call her immediately and ask her when the last time she been on Facebook and she says 2 days ago....WTF! then she says well at least i didn't lie.....Can someone tell me if this woman is Insane, Dumb or Stupid!????

I said to her Why would you go behind my back and do that...She said she didn't think it was a big deal...I said no you just Once again got comfortable and took me for granted yet again! I specifically told her to stay off of there and for good reason so why tha f*ck would she risk her family yet again for something so small and unimportant.


I reminded her that I DO NOT TRUST HER. and As a woman & Wife it should be a MAJOR problem for your husband Not to trust you.

Am i trippin?
Am i taking this too seriously?
Or is this just another confirmation that leads to the inevitable?

I Cannot.
I Do Not.
I Will Not.
Be with a woman i cannot trust...Not anymore. Not ever. Ever Again.

So much for advice....I should have done it my way.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

FB accounts CAN be permanently deleted, it makes you wait 2 weeks to do it though.


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## Stone_Dagger (Mar 4, 2011)

Well doesn't matter now she Re-activated it. Im really pissed at the fact that she did it once again behind my back...as if its that important or is being used for communication with other men.

F*ck this marriage sh*t... its simply not for me.

Im Never putting this much time & effort into any woman like this again except my own daughter.


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## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

You can always cut off access to accounts... creat a random mail account... change the FB primary email to that account... go in and change the PW to soemthing else that she doesnt know... then go into the new email account and confirm everything.. she will have no access to it while it is being deleted. - The End.


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## Stone_Dagger (Mar 4, 2011)

Agreed Sonny.
And that is the conclusion i have come too.

Im not a fcking warden. Im not gonna keep watch over a an adult to do the right thing.

Never again...i swear it.

Oh yeah i decided to go Full Active.

Im fcking outta here.


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## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

Sonny said:


> People were plenty capable of cheating long before Face book and cell phones. It's not the tool, it's the user. Your wife needs to be kicked to the curb.


Yeah, but there were a lot less EA's and more PA's.

I am going to get a ton of crap for this, but IMO, a PA makes it easier to dump the partner. Your mind goes loopy with an EA, because you think maybe it wasnt real.. or you justify stuff because you think "at least it wasnt physical"

Facebook and such makes the EA easy. and there are a lot more kids taking cookies froma candy jar than there are stealing them fromt he store.. Meaning if you have greater access to cheating, you are more likely to do it.


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## Workingitout (Sep 27, 2010)

She is in the fog. When their brain is possessed, they have no rational thought about what they are doing. They don't consider the pain it causes you, the destructiveness, how it will ruin their marriage and life.

My wife risked her marriage, financial security, her children, her and my health by doing the **** she did! I don't think she ever considered the outcome or fallout. It's not until she got clean and her head out of the fog (following a 72 day rehab/detox stay) that she realized what she almost lost.

Don't expect your wife to think rationally. You'll need to do more reading on this site to understand that they just don't understand. You also can't trust her to not contact the other men. It's like asking a crackhead to not smoke crack when he's in a crack den full of crackheads and crack! It just won't happen. All the willpower in the world won't keep her away from the men until she gets out of the fog!


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## Stone_Dagger (Mar 4, 2011)

twotimeloser said:


> Facebook and such makes the EA easy. and there are a lot more kids taking cookies froma candy jar than there are stealing them fromt he store.. Meaning if you have greater access to cheating, you are more likely to do it.


Exactly and that is why i said the FB had to go as well. 
Now if she already broke my trust i would think that after a week or two ... Nobody would be stupid enough to go do something like this...

And long & Behold that she did.

And yes that quote is TRUE! "If you have greater access to cheating a person will" and Sorry but if a person in a marriage be it man or woman isn't comfortable with there spouse being apart of that social networking bullsh*t i think it would be best to oblige given good reason.

Now fresh off a EA ... i don't feel she is in there predicament to disagree or except any of my request.


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## Stone_Dagger (Mar 4, 2011)

Workingitout said:


> She is in the fog. When their brain is possessed, they have no rational thought about what they are doing. They don't consider the pain it causes you, the destructiveness, how it will ruin their marriage and life.
> 
> My wife risked her marriage, financial security, her children, her and my health by doing the **** she did! I don't think she ever considered the outcome or fallout. It's not until she got clean and her head out of the fog (following a 72 day rehab/detox stay) that she realized what she almost lost.
> 
> Don't expect your wife to think rationally. You'll need to do more reading on this site to understand that they just don't understand. You also can't trust her to not contact the other men. It's like asking a crackhead to not smoke crack when he's in a crack den full of crackheads and crack! It just won't happen. All the willpower in the world won't keep her away from the men until she gets out of the fog!



and the Rehab in this case was what?


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## Babyheart (Feb 9, 2011)

Sorry to hear. NO kids involved right?


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## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

I am going to say this, and i expect a lot of guff for it.


You have to get clear minded, make an action plan and commit to it.

Nothing is going to happen until you are mentally ready to follow through with the worst case scenario.

You ever seen that show Intervention? You have these addicted people that are ruining everyones lives, and those people have to make a choice. They have to say " I am willing to cut you out of my life to save yours."

Well, Infidelity causes a need for a marriage intervention. You have to get to a mental place where leaving IS an option, where you are ready to change your idle threats into an ultimatum. In an Ultimatum you follow through. 

When I went through this process, i dealt with a wife who fought me tooth and nail. It was all about her freedoms and her privacy, for herself. That was no concern of mine. I killed all her emails, Changed her telephone number, Made her remove every male on face book and block them. I check them all the time even after 2 years. She has family locater on her cell phone, and I even made her change all her passwords to the same as mine on every account. 

If she would have failed to do one of those things, I would have followed through with my ultimatum. and decorated the lawn with all her belongings. 

You need to have reasonable expectations, that the cheater will always view as unreasonable. 

The most common mistake made by cheaters and LS is that they just wish things were the way they used to be. That is Crap... the way it used to be... it led to your current situation, you need something completely different and these transparencies are just the beginning.

You tell her that "her" life is gone. It has been gone since she made the vows. It became "our" life... and if she doesnt like that, then she made a mistake marrying you.

None of this is possible until you make rules and follow them. YOU need to follow them and not back down. If you arent ready to get divorced, then you arent ready to do everything possible to save the marriage.


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Stone_Dagger said:


> Agreed Sonny.
> And that is the conclusion i have come too.
> 
> Im not a fcking warden. Im not gonna keep watch over a an adult to do the right thing.
> ...


Full active duty? Me likey likey! However, I will say that you WILL meet and probably marry a woman again. You're smart, about to become 10 times more disciplined and can now take what you've learned from this marriage into your next one ; ) :smthumbup:


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## ahhhmaaaan! (Mar 26, 2011)

Dude... WTF is wrong with these people? If you read my post, I'm totally debating whether to stay and make an effort, or cut the ****ing thing(marriage) loose. She says she wants me to check all her phone records, email, and social networking from now on so that I can be sure she really wants to make it work- I DON"T WANT TO BE A ****ING BABYSITTER! We shouldn't have to do that.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

You can do it for a period of time then ease off.

That is if you want to step up. It seems humiliating I know.

But if you can do that while she repairs things with you, could it be worth it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stone_Dagger (Mar 4, 2011)

Sucks when people betray your trust and you have to deal with the emotional & mental battle during the "Repair" phase!

F*CK THAT! I just passed my MEPS and Enlisted & Im Out of here End of July!

Now she can S*CK ON THAT!

I'm gonna support my daughter & fix my career and when im settled off i'm coming for my Kid!


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## ahhhmaaaan! (Mar 26, 2011)

Good for you, bro. Some people don't have the guts to get the **** out of such a situation. Stay up.


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## MisguidedMiscreant (Dec 28, 2010)

Stone_Dagger said:


> Sucks when people betray your trust and you have to deal with the emotional & mental battle during the "Repair" phase!
> 
> F*CK THAT! I just passed my MEPS and Enlisted & Im Out of here End of July!
> 
> ...





ahhhmaaaan! said:


> Good for you, bro. Some people don't have the guts to get the **** out of such a situation. Stay up.


Man, I really like you two.


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

Well **** yea, bro! Trust me, you've made a great decision!


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