# Time at home or work



## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Something that a member posted in another thread got me to thinking about our culture. This is paraphrasing, but he basically said that he would rather work normal hours so he could have more time on his hands and just have a comfortable, happy existence. His ex-wife, however, misinterpreted him and thought he was a career oriented provider who would work 50-60 hours a week to obtain a lot of stuff. 

I'm curious. Let's say for the sake of the discussion that you really love your husband and you get along well, and a 40 hour a week job would provide a comfortable life. Would you rather have your husband be able to be around a lot, such as evenings, weekends, and any special occasions, or would him being away a lot working seem normal and worth the extra goodies in life?


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## Chippie (Jun 23, 2016)

I personally would go for the normal hours and a moderate lifestyle. Long working hours and time away from home tends to lead to a lot of issues.

Fly-in fly-out (FIFO) work is a big thing in Australia. It pays well and a lot of couples have one or more of them doing it. Most are doing it for the money - it tends to pay more than the average local wages. I have seen many couples break up over this type of working arrangement as it impacts on how connected they are and leaves them vulnerable for other parties to step into the gap. 

The majority of people live to their income - if their income is high, they buy lots of stuff, live in a big house etc. As an accountant, I have seen again what happens when this high income is lost, due to retrenchment, health issues, relationship issues etc. People lose their houses and find themselves in dire straits financially. Again, this can put a lot of pressure on a relationship.

I think a couple needs to seriously consider more than just money when it comes to working hours. If one party is pushing for the other to work longer and harder so that they can have more stuff, then I would think priorities are off. There is more to life than owning the latest and best stuff.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

My wife greatly prefers my presence and company over extra money. Of course, we're very comfortable even on one income now, working no more than 40 hours a week. However, for two years we took a break from all work and traveled full-time in a small RV, and loved the time together. Our relationship is primary, and work a distant second or third priority at best.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

I’m glad to hear there are some people out there who aren’t workaholics and addicted to busyness. It seems like so many people I know these days are. It’s to the point that if someone isn’t caught up in the rat race, people think it’s strange.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I love my husbands company, and would never want him working ridiculous hours, or being away a lot for work. I would hate it. I don't care how much he would earn, it wouldn't be worth all the time we'd miss out on spending together.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I would never consider marrying a woman who placed more importance on my, or even her own extended work hours than with our mutual quality time together!

And by the same token, I would sincerely hope that she would feel the exact same way about me!*


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I am mixed on this, on one hand it depends on your job and some jobs require travel.

I have known women who I have heard complaining about their husbands being away for work but then when you say would you be happy if he was home more but made wayless money and they hesitate. So you can't always have it both ways.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

Money will become useless once the zombie apocalypse strikes. I favor additional time for togetherness.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Satya said:


> Money will become useless *once the zombie apocalypse strikes*. I favor additional time for togetherness.


And believe me it will. Don't kid yourself thinking it won't!


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

highwood said:


> I am mixed on this, on one hand it depends on your job and some jobs require travel.
> 
> I have known women who I have heard complaining about their husbands being away for work but then when you say would you be happy if he was home more but made wayless money and they hesitate. So you can't always have it both ways.


I’ve noticed that too.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

southbound said:


> I'm curious. Let's say for the sake of the discussion that you really love your husband and you get along well, and a 40 hour a week job would provide a comfortable life. Would you rather have your husband be able to be around a lot, such as evenings, weekends, and any special occasions, or would him being away a lot working seem normal and worth the extra goodies in life?




Extra goodies hands down! Jk

It would depend on what a comfortable life entails and how long he will have to work for more than 40 hours...


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Working overtime is for getting ahead or paying down debt ..a short term highngain plan.

But working just to keep thecwife in bobbles ...no thanks.


Got to live within your means!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

chillymorn69 said:


> Working overtime is for getting ahead or paying down debt ..a short term highngain plan.


 When we were younger... He would take all the overtime he could get , I would too...saving for that country home / a piece of land, we all have dreams starting out...once all this was in our grasp... we relaxed a little....then we got it all paid off....Now we don't want the overtime ...it would be more -to help the company -if they were in a pinch over us needing the extra money....

Then some jobs.. there is "mandatory overtime"... I am in this situation now ....I DON'T want the extra hours... but I would be fired if I refused them... at least I can choose the (2) extra shifts I want to fit in -in the month... 

I purposely looked for a job where my hours & his mesh in such a way we can maximize our time together....I like our schedules.. I am always home when he gets home .... I leave for work when he is about to go to sleep...I get my sleeping in -when he is working.... 

Since we met... spending Time together was always something we looked forward to... didn't matter so much what we were doing.. just that we were doing it together....tying the love languages into this... we are both "time and Touch" primarily, so I guess it makes sense....

It's kind of a question of What is more important... Making Memories/ more leisure, even if it leaves us "just average"...our cars may be older, our houses not on the cover of any Home Beautiful magazines.....or the ideal to build Wealth, climbing the ladder of success as this often demands "sacrifice" to much of our time/ leisure to attain..


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

southbound said:


> I’m glad to hear there are some people out there who aren’t workaholics and addicted to busyness. It seems like so many people I know these days are. It’s to the point that if someone isn’t caught up in the rat race, people think it’s strange.


It's much more prevalent in big cities.


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## MrsSisco69 (Mar 31, 2018)

I would definitely rather have the time available to be able to spend with my spouse. There’s no sense in having all of those extra goodies if you have to live like roommates, and not be able to enjoy those goodies together. It’s very easy to not live alone but feel alone.


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