# My wife left



## JustFinch (Aug 24, 2010)

I'm a newbie to this site so I apologise in advance for not knowing the ropes, I came on this site for some much needed advice and help in regards to my situation.

My wife decided to leave me yesterday with our 2 year old son, I'm only 22 going on 23 so I geuss everything feels like the end of the world at my age though I know from past relationships that it just isn't.

We were arguing alot since our son was born as it felt like alot of love, passion and romance had died on her part, Her moods were sometime's unbarable, I recommended that she should go see a doctor as it might be post natal depression even 2 years after giving birth as it seem's her mood's never changed.

When she left yesterday I naturally begged her in tears not to leave me but it didn't even seem to phase her in the slightest, She said she was sorry and blamed herself for the way thing's worked out with us and the fact that I felt I was falling out of love with her a good while ago because of longing for the day she kissed and held me the way she used to.

I know some women change after having children and I understand that, I geuss I just can't come to terms with how having a child didn't bring us closer together, I've always wanted a family and I know thing's weren't always great but we always got by, From the first day I met her I knew she was special and I fought to be with her and now I'm ready to fight to get her back.

I just wish I knew where I stood with her as she didn't give me much to go off besides blaming herself for what's happening and just repeated over and over that she couldn't do this anymore, She said her heart felt like a stone and she's finding it hard to care for just about anything anymore.

I have a feeling she needs some time to find herself again, I want to talk to her but I'm finding it hard when she just ignores me. Any advice would be appreciated.


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## stbxhmaybe (Apr 29, 2010)

The only kind of advice I can give you coming from a guy that used to be in your shoes about 5 months ago is to let time take it's course. 

You already told her what your feelings were, if there are some issues from your part that you feel contributed to this situation work on them but don't work on them hoping that they are going to bring her back but work on them for the pure purpose of bettering yourself. 

I know it is really hard to let go, I know one feels like it is the end of the world but it is just the way our mind grieves the departure of a loved one. Whether she leaves for good or stays is up to her and even if you change or don't will be her decision. She is an adult who can decide what's best for her and at the end you have to respect her decision even if you don't agree with her.

I just watched the movie Eat, Pray and Love, and there is a scene where the main character (the one who left) sort of has a conversation with her ex-husband, the husband is in tears and tells her that he still loves her and misses her, she says that's ok to love her and miss her and every time he remembers about her to send her love and drop it, she also says that this will not last forever because nothing does. 

Honestly it is true, although I have my bad days and my good days, my life was also turned upside down and I am in my late 20's, I can assure you that things will start looking a little brighter every day. 5 months into this whole ordeal and I am in good spirits and so will you but as everybody says, I know, let time take its course.

I wish you strength, patience and wisdom, and remember that we human beings are capable to recovering but like with everything it requires work, time and dedication


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