# Frustrated and Hurt :(



## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Well, I found out my husband has been turning to porn and webcams on his phone recently - to which he denied, then confessed. He knows this is a big no-no for me... We've established long ago that it has no place in our lives. (Well I did - he went along with it when he had the chance to walk away). He even admitted deleting his phone history because he knew I would get upset over his searches. He wants leniency for confessing; I'm upset that he lied to begin with. He says I shouldn't take it personally, because he's less attracted to me now that I'm pregnant - and that was the start of blaming ME for our lack of a sex life!

He then proceeded to go on a rant about how I "expected" things to continue the same as before, (I hadn't thought anything would change between us - but I never sat down and said those words, and they're much more amplified expectations in his mind, then they are in reality)... I hate when he does this! He formulates my thoughts in his mind and somehow they become words that I'm held accountable for! I don't know what it's called, (projection, maybe?) But how can I compete?! I will say, "I never said that" and he will say, "It doesn't matter because (it's) how I feel (about what you think). Ugh!!!!

He made every possible excuse to blame me, including taking a stab at my weight. In my defense, I'm within normal range, and even though I'm due in two weeks, I still don't have a single stretchmark! I'm still hiking and biking, exercising, etc. Doing what damage control I can! I'm eating well, all my bloods come back *better* than average, even though I suck at remembering to take my prenatals.

You know, I was never thrilled about pregnancy or motherhood, the changes in my body, all the ickiness that comes with it, but I was trying to keep in mind what a beautiful thing it is, and trying to embrace it, trying to go with the flow in this life. 

Here I sit, feeling discarded, unloved, unattractive and resentful. He even had photos of me that he took on his phone - quite "vulgar" ones, (at his request, because that's what he needs to become aroused), but I guess even before I gained weight I wasn't attractive enough.

Feeling so hurt right now. I thought marriage was about meeting challenges as partners - not finding one's own solution without involving the other. I don't know how things will ever be the same... 

Just needed to vent... :/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Yup, he actually said that. Word for word. 

He says he's excited about being a father and whatnot, but I suspect he'll be about as involved as he was with the pregnancy.

At this point I'm questioning whether or not we would be fit parents... Wondering if adoption would be best. We aren't exactly a shining, loving example for her. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

He is a jerk.

You know he is a jerk.

It WILL not get better, especially once a baby come and causes more stress and noise and issues (I love babies, but if you're already in a crappy relationship, it won't make things better).

I know you're pregnant and almost due (yay!) But he's made you feel like dirt since DAY 1!!

So what are you going to do??? Drop this dead lump of jackass and raise your child in a loving environment. Seriously. 

He's a waste of your time.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

If you're thinking about adoption (and it's a difficult but noble decision), contact an agency soon. Your baby could be placed instantly and you could choose the parents.

God bless.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

He is not attracted to you when you are carrying his child? He is immature, selfish, insensitive, boorish, and lots of other things that I can't say here. I generally do not advocate divorce, but I can't see how you stand this guy.

Please respect yourself. You deserve so much better than this.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I just worry, and suspect, that you'll be back on here in 2 months complaining how he isn't involved, he goes out a lot, he makes fun of your body AFTER baby (god, that's just no fun to deal with while you're hormonal and tired), and still being the complete ASSHHOLE that he is.

I don't want that. YOU don't want that.

So....now what?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I probably will be. 

Where did my guts go? 

I've thought of staying with my sis for awhile, but it's already a crowded household and she has two kiddos of her own.

What would be a more permanent solution. I've asked my husband about divorce. He says he's fine with it, but I have to pay. I don't have a job or any way to come up with funds at the moment. Not to mention I'd probably lose everything I own (again) because I've got no place to put it.

I seriously need to regain a sense of control and responsibility for my own life. I hate depending on him for everything. 

Everytime I look at his phone... I want to take a hammer to it. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Maybe stay with your sis for a while. You do NOT need this stress before birth and while the baby is small. Asking him to leave would be drama that you don't need.

You can get help to pay for the divorce. My friend did. I dont' know how she did it, but i can ask if you want.

Find your balls, dear. Find them for you and find them for this baby girl who NEEDS you to be strong and be a good, healthy woman and mother.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

*I've asked my husband about divorce. He says he's fine with it, but I have to pay. I don't have a job or any way to come up with funds at the moment.*

Just because you leave him, does not mean you need an immediate divorce. LOTS of couples live separately with actually divorcing. Most, if not all, states will grant child support without divorce and even in states where there is no "legal separation". So you can take that worry off the table. There is no immediate need to worry about divorcing, or the cost of it. Either you can do it later, when you can afford it... or he will want to move on and do it himself. There is no reason for you to worry about that.

Sooooooooooo.... put your focus on where it needs to be. You and the baby. YOU have time on your side. You don't have to cater to h, but you can just BE. Take your time, figure out your plan, find a job..... all of the above. Go into this plan with the idea that h is not going to be helpful at all...and you won't be disappointed. Decide what and HOW you can do for yourself. 

Studies say that PART of feeling good about your self and your future is in the planning. If you have no respect or attachment to your husband, do NOT include him in any of this planning. This is about YOUR life....what you can do. HOW you can be yourself, love yourself, and fend for yourself. How NOT to need him. Do not ask his advice, do not share plans, do not allow him to be your source of divorce knowledge... Don't need him. Period.

You can do this!


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I agree. The midwife has already sent me in for emergency visit once - my blood pressure is elevated because of the tension and stress, and my familial history of pregnancies isn't stellar. He knows this: he was with me. And yet, when we are fighting and I just ask him to be nice and calm down, he'll act defeated, or like I'm trying to control him, or worse, like my being stressed and upset isn't a concern for him - and he knows we are at risk for pre-eclampsia.

Honestly, I do think I could be just as stressed away from him, because I would have to let go of any control over the situation. I know it's better for me to do that - but feeling like a failure is something that is hard for me to cope with.

I just don't see any way I can make this work with him. It hurts, A LOT.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Thank you, Sunny. I didn't know that, I can definitely look into the laws here and see what they say. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

YOU are not a failure. Hardly. Not at all. 

He's the failure. As a man, husband and probably father. Don't be burdened by his cross.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Just when I think I read the most despicable thing a spouse can do to another, I read something like your post and my jaw drops.

You are pregnant with HIS child, this is a very special time, a happy time. For him to dump crap all over you for not being skinny and for actually telling you he is not attracted to you because you are pregnant is EVIL. Seriously, when he is sleeping, check his head for a 666. 

You are ultimately going to do what is best for you, but please don't give your baby away to keep your husband. You are right, he will resent the baby if he doesn't get enough sex, he will not help you with the child and you will have to do it all. 

This devil does not deserve your love, kindness, and the love of your child. I am so sorry you are in this situation and my prayers go out to you. A woman doesn't need a man to be a good mother. Concentrate on the miracle growing inside you and leave the demon husband behind. Oh, and shove his phone up his butt sideways. MAKE IT HURT!!!!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

When I first read your post this morning, I wanted to respond ... but I hesitated. You're about to give birth, and I did not want to dump anything on you that would add to your pain.

But here goes ...

FIRST ... you can go to your county welfare/assistance agency. They can help you financially, assist you with food stamps, and possibly find a place for you an baby to live.

SECOND ... the agency can help with job placement.

THIRD ... you can stay with family and/or friends for a short period of time until you get government assistance.

Thank you to that_girl for have the balls to say what I didn't have the guts to say: Hon, you are married to a creep. You were with a creep before you got married, and you survived and came through it okay. You can do it again.

The only problem I really see is you keep glomming onto losers. So get free therapy, courtesy of a government agency.

I left my alcoholic husband. No job. No family. Nowhere to go. I survived. Okay, I live in an old efficiency above a horse stable. But it is MY space. It's clean, most of my furniture is stored in a friend's basement, and if I don't get a job soon, I will be at the county welfare office.

WHEN THE PAIN OF STAYING EXCEEDS THE PAIN OF LEAVING, YOU WILL LEAVE. And you will quit making excuses for being stuck. You got into this mess, you are equally as capable of getting out.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Also, leave before he can abuse that baby. He doesn't want the baby. You know this. I hate to keep putting salt in your wounds, but I worry you live in fantasyland thinking he'll get better. HE WON'T GET BETTER. Only worse. I worry that the first night the baby cries for hours (and she most likely will a few times), he'll fly off the handle.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Thank you all for your support and advice. I really have come to the conclusion that I, at the very least, cannot get him to see change is necessary, while I am still physically with him. He has brought up that he'd like to continue counseling, (which I ended because he was withholding information I believe affected the quality of our care).

I've talked with my sis and she is more than happy to have me stay. Maybe with the delivery date looming and me not being home he will realize I am serious about getting our stuff together, for our baby's sake. If not, I am assured my sister will be invaluable to my daughter and I. She has even offered to adopt my daughter, should I be unfit. (I guess I have a lot of doubts about raising a child, being that I have zero experience and quite honestly, a low threshold for children in general). I really hope that's not the case, and I won't feel so claustrophobic once she's here...

There's a lot to sort through, but I'm hoping to be at my sister's before Monday.

Husband must be sensing something is up. He came to me and we talked about last night, and the things he said. He did apologize and said that he was open to compromise, but nothing specific was discussed. I actually felt that he does not understand what I am feeling right now, as a result of his words and actions, and I don't know how to communicate in any way different than I've been trying...

For some reason, leaving him is a difficult thing for me to face, and I'm unsure of why. There is something I'm getting out of this; some role that I am playing out that I "need" to stay to continue it. We are two sick people and I don't want to be "sick" anymore. I want to be independent and confident again, I want to not let things get to me the way they do. I'm not fond of my clingy side (who knew I had one?) 

There was more I wanted to say, but "pregnancy brain" has gotten the better of me... Will add more later. Thank you again for all your input. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

My sister didn't like kids or ever want kids. She never held a baby until i had my 1st daughter. She was so awkward holding my child hahaha she was 19 at that time.

Then she got pregnant and had a son.

That was 10 years ago. She is THE BEST MOM. Omg. She is amazing with her son. And she said it just came naturally on how to take care of him. This, coming from a woman who thinks people shouldn't even have children because we're so populated. haha.

You will be ok. 

It's hard to leave him because he has you thinking you need him.

It's what abusers do.

I was there with my older daughter's father. Until one day I had enough and just left.

You'll get there...hopefully it's before any more damage is done.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Hugs to you and that baby  yea.

Are you all ready for the birth?


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## hurtnohio (Jul 17, 2011)

Yin, I've been following your story for a while. I know that nobody is perfect, but it seems to me as if you've certainly done your part in trying to keep it together. 

Without a major change in his outlook, I don't see how things can get any better and they'll probably get worse. His attraction to you probably isn't going to increase once the baby arrives. Sorry to say it, but you'll both be so tired that the attraction just won't be there for a while. It's worth it, but new babies are a lot of work! 

Wait, I take that back. The way this is headed, you'll be tired all the time and he'll be whining.

So if he's saying insensitive things like this now, it won't get better after the baby.

Does your state have a dissolution option? Not sure how other states do things, but in Ohio if the couple can agree on everything - child custody, debts and assets, spousal support, etc. - then you can basically draw up an agreement, have a lawyer review it for a couple of hundred bucks, and submit it to the courts for adjudication. No trial, no spending thousands and thousands of dollars on legal teams. You do have to pay court costs, but those are minimal compared to going to trial with a full-blown divorce.

I'm so sorry you're facing this with a little one on the way. You seem like a very sweet and level-headed woman. I'm so sorry you ended up with such a jerk. I don't see any good options available to you besides leaving this jackass.

Sorry to be so blunt, but it's how I see this.

My prayers are with you.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Thank you ladies! *hugs* I'm so glad I can talk about these things here... Where I'm from/in my family, having doubts about having your own kids is an unheard of. Even if you do feel that way, you don't dare question "what if" ya know? 

That_Girl, I really needed to read that about your sis. I NEVER wanted kids - I was always afraid of the commitment, loss of freedom, etc. When around other peoples' kids, I *cringe* they can be so obnoxious! I've never been the most patient of people, although I am tolerant, sometimes I feel myself becoming so overwhelmed inside - they are just so *constant*!!! My nieces never "turn off" but my sis says it's different when it's your own. I hope you guys are right!

I will admit - it's been really interesting watching the little one tumble around inside me - it's creepy and cool at the same time lol 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Birth - got my hospital bag packed, car seat ready to go, just need to set up crib and a ew other things. My sis and her hubby are super excited, (they have baby-fever BAD), they've been super awesome, buying hundreds of dollars worth of baby items. I can't believe how nuts they are! Or how much stuff babies need!!! Wow!!!

Labor - terrified. Omg. Soooo not good with pain, hospitals or strange people!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't really like other people's children. I like MY children and MY students, but no one else's LOL 

There is a sense of loss of freedom at first...but as they grow, it gets easier to go out and you learn to go out WITH the baby/kid. I used to bundle up my 1st daughter to go out with friends at night (to get coffee) and she'd sleep in her stroller/seat and I got to hang out like I always did. 

I admit, even as a nanny, my first week with my first baby was CRAZY hard. I was tired and not into it. But something kicked in and it went fine. Thankfully, she's still alive at 12.5 LOL 

You will be ok. You will look at your baby and know it is YOUR baby and your little person to take care of.

You will know her smell and every crease of her body. You'll love how she curls her little fingers around your finger. You'll have this weird urge to protect her and keep her from harm at all times.

You will learn what to do as you do it. Different things work for different babies. Keep a sense of humor. There's really no right or wrong and you WILL make mistakes. Totally ok.

You may be overwhelmed at first, and that's ok. That's when you ask for help. The baby will be overwhelmed as well! It's scary being born and stuff LOL


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Babies need nothing but a boob/bottle and diapers. They don't even really need diapers  And love. 

You'll see that they really don't need much. We just freak out and buy them everything. haha


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Hurtnohio - no need to apologize for being blunt, I can take it! 

I know my hubby is a jerk. He's a real ass sometimes. Not all the time, but enough to really make me question things. I can't decide if he is just that oblivious, or if he is indeed just a mean person. Some days it can look like either/or. :/

I don't want to see him as a bad person. He has his good qualities, but it seems like the stresses of life have made that part of him disappear... 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

During the birth, if all goes smoothly, KNOW YOUR RIGHTS and know what you want and speak up/have an advocate.

Doctors like to scare patients into csections and other things just to 'speed up" the process of birth for their own schedules. Don't give in.


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## hurtnohio (Jul 17, 2011)

YinPrincess said:


> Hurtnohio - no need to apologize for being blunt, I can take it!
> 
> I don't want to see him as a bad person. He has his good qualities, but it seems like the stresses of life have made that part of him disappear...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I won't go into all the issues I'm having in my own marriage here, but my wife made a comment very similar to this once. She said that things in our marriage are fine until we encounter stress. It's only when we're stressed that we can't stand each other.

My reply was that stress reveals a person's (or a marriage's) true character. Some people rise to the challenge when under stress. Other people panic, or become complete jackasses, or whatever under stress. Stress has a way of stripping off the facade and laying bare our true character.

If you don't like what you see out of your hubby when he's stressed, I think you're gaining a valuable insight.


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

Personally I can't understand a man not stepping up and being extremely supportive at this time. It sounds like your husband has a lot of growing up to do. Maybe your moving out will make him take a look in the mirror. If he's honest with himself he won't like what he sees.

I think you'll be a great mother. The fact that you're thinking about it means you are already concerned over the welfare of your baby. And isn't that what great mothers do?


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## so+unhappy (Mar 18, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> Yup, he actually said that. Word for word.
> 
> He says he's excited about being a father and whatnot, but I suspect he'll be about as involved as he was with the pregnancy.
> 
> ...


I am so sorry for what you're going through.  
Seems as if every marriage has its share of problems. 

I know this is going to come across the wrong way, but if you do decide on adoption...my husband and I have been wanting a baby for such a long time. 
We would love to talk more about it with you. 
However, if you decide against adoption and would like to keep him/her...I think you would be a great mom! It may just be the hormones that are making you second guess your decision to have a baby.


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

Hi there, YP. I've been unwell so haven't been online for a while. I came on here and see that you're almost ready to have the baby! I can't believe it's been 9 months (though you probably can haha!). I'm so sorry to read that your H is continuing his jerkface behavior and not stepping up and being supportive about what you're going through at least, if not actually excited about the baby (which would be nice too).

I think going to stay with your sister in what sounds like a very POSITIVE environment is a fantastic idea. You have been living with tremendous stress during this entire pregnancy - from Day 1. You deserve to spend the last few weeks and then the beginning of the post-partum/ newborn phase in a positive and loving environment where you can focus on you and your baby. 

Is he contributing ANYTHING positive right now that you want to be in the same house with him? I just don't see how staying with him can be good for your health right now.

As far as the issue of adoption - I'm no expert but it would seem to me that if your sister is offering to adopt your baby that you wouldn't need to make an immediate decision? I don't know all the legal aspects but maybe just spending some time with them in a child-friendly atmosphere might make you feel more positive and excited about having a child. But if you are freaking out about being a single mother (considering leaving your H in the long term), which is totally understandable, and adoption feels right to you (whether to your sister or someone else), you are doing what you think is best for you and your baby and that is exactly what you should be doing. 

I would also like to say that there will always be tons of stories like "I hated kids and then I had a baby and I became a perfect mother overnight, so will you!" which is great for those people BUT it is not the case for everyone and if you are NOT loving motherhood, you should NOT feel like you have to "hide" your feelings. No one on here is going to judge you if you say "I hated kids and then I had a baby and I did not become a perfect mother overnight, in fact I don' really like being a parent at all." That is a totally valid thing to feel and you should never be afraid to talk about it here (I know that in the real world you would probably be socially ostracized for saying that, which is why it's even more important to know you can talk about it here). 

Anyone who would judge you after everything you've been through and as honest as you've been this whole time is just plain unfair and wrong. I hope you will have a great birth experience and be one of those mothers who falls in love with their baby right away - but whatever happens, I know you'll make the right decision for you and your baby by staying true and honest to yourself.

I admire you so much for your strength over the past 9 months and I do understand why you are still with him - it is very hard to just up and leave especially when you're in a vulnerable position (pregnancy being the ultimate in vulnerability). But when you feel ready to move on with your life, if that means without him, with or without your baby, you're strong enough to do that and come out okay on the other end. HUGS to you, I hope to be online more although it will depend on how I'm feeling. If we don't "talk" again before the big day, I'm wishing you a peaceful and easy birth, with a very, very healthy mother and child!


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

endlessgrief said:


> Just when I think I read the most despicable thing a spouse can do to another, I read something like your post and my jaw drops.
> 
> You are pregnant with HIS child, this is a very special time, a happy time. For him to dump crap all over you for not being skinny and for actually telling you he is not attracted to you because you are pregnant is EVIL. Seriously, when he is sleeping, check his head for a 666.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## desert-rose (Aug 16, 2011)

People sometimes say crazy and horrible things at the threshold of becoming parents. Sometimes it's stress, sometimes it's stupidity and immaturity. My friend's husband told her, when she was 7 months pregnant (and got to be all connected to the baby inside her that he couldn't bond with yet because it wasn't yet born, a thing about which he was jealous, the issue they discovered later) was that he was "so over the pregnancy already". She was hurt and miserable and so sad. After the baby was born and he was able to bond with the infant, none of that distance was there. He's still kinda clueless about nurturing things, but he does love his kids and support them. I'm not saying your H will instantly take to fatherhood, but that because men are sometimes disconnected from the process, the immature ones will say horribly inconsiderate and offensive things sometimes. It's a good idea to revisit the discussion with him later, with cooler heads.

The best thing to do is breathe, take a step back and calm down. You need a calm environment for the baby, so see how you might be able to arrange that. If you need space from your husband, take space. Don't jump immediately to divorce because right now, you guys are both really stressed out and if that is what you want to do, you want to be sure you've thought about it with a level head, rather than the impulsiveness that might come with stress, hormones, and his apparent immaturity.

I'm sorry you're going through this with your husband while you're dealing with pregnancy. I hope he will stop with porn. It makes sense for you to reinforce that boundary by separating for a while, but make sure you do it with a cool head and not as a reactionary thing.

Good Luck.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

*I know my hubby is a jerk. He's a real ass sometimes. Not all the time, but enough to really make me question things. I can't decide if he is just that oblivious, or if he is indeed just a mean person. Some days it can look like either/or. :/

I don't want to see him as a bad person. He has his good qualities, but it seems like the stresses of life have made that part of him disappear... *

Ya know.... my ex was like this. He was kind of excited with the first baby, but not very supportive or helpful in any real way. I went to Lamaze classes without him, I put up with alot of fat jokes while pregnant, breastfeeding inconvenienced HIM.... and that was just the beginning. I'd like to say I should have left him at that point. I can't say that now.... 5 kids later, I wouldn't change that! 

5 kids in 6 years.... ya, I figured out what was causing it. My point is...it NEVER got better. I never saw him as mean, more like devoid of sympathy, unable to recognize those who love you, or what that is worth in the grand scheme. I pretty much raised those kids without him.... it did not get better. He left us when they were all teens....go figure. By then it didn't matter, and no one really cared that he left. THAT is how much impact he had on us. 

And it was all his own fault. I had issues, sure.... I never felt valued or heard... for 23 years. But, I had lots of love and self-confidence. I knew I didn't need him, that I couldn't fix him, that I would be ok...and he would just go on in his tiny little world that doesn't really include other people except on some weird superficial level. He'll never "get it". 

So I vote for "oblivious"... they don't KNOW they are like this. Your h sounds like my ex. And it doesn't get better.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Men are not oblivious or stupid. Y'all take too much grief from your men, especially while pregnant. Seriously. Her husband KNOWS it hurts her and continues to do it.

Either he's mentally retarded and doesn't understand that she's hurt, OR he just don't give a crap. I vote for the later.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> Labor - terrified. Omg. Soooo not good with pain, hospitals or strange people!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am a major wimp and I think one of the reasons I never had children was because I was terrified of the labor. Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time, but that still didn't make me feel better.

I once watched a movie about American Indians. This woman is working in a field, her water breaks and she goes into labor. She squats, pushes, and has the child. Then she continues to work on the field! I know this may be fiction, but I can imagine that is how many women had children before hospitals and epidurals.

Are you getting an epidural? Keep us posted on the birth. I want to know how you handled it (which I know you will do great). It's amazing what a woman's body can do isn't it? Boggles my mind!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Honestly, by the time you get to the birth, you are READY and will do whatever it takes to get that kid out. lol.

Yea, it hurts, but it's not forever. And once the baby comes out, the pain stops.


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

YinPrincess,

You are a beautiful person that deserves so much more. I'm so glad you are with your sister and her family now. Please stay with the loving environment you are in. You don't have to divorce your husband right away, but stay separated from him until he matures. Sounds like everything is about him. He has some growing up to do. If he does grow up then great for both of you. If he doesn't please move on and be happy.

Adoption is the ultimate sacrifice that a mother can do to ensure her childs well being. Whether it be to your sister or some other loving family you have chosen. If you do decide to go this route you will have to get your husband to sign away his parental rights. Will he do that?

Good luck with what ever you decide to do. You are a loving, caring, good person and you deserve happiness in your life. I hope you find it.


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