# husband had another phoney facebook profile



## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

Hello.
My husband had another phony Facebook profile. He says he didn't create it. that an ex girl friend called his store, and then mentioned it to him, and then gave him the password. I believe this. Because some girls are just a mess. There was her and one other ex girlfriend. He said that both the ex girlfriends are actually friends.....that I'm not sure of. There was nothing like him trying to hook up with anybody or meet any body. He made a couple nasty comments about two photos of girls....something I don't care to see, but guys are nasty, well mine is a horn dog anyways.
I haven't been completely an angel myself, so I forgive him. But I have been for awhile. This is just something similar that happened with the last long time relationship I was in. I have been told that I like to dictate, and am bossy....I know this. My mom actually looked at it, and she said she didn't see anything really bad on it. She says that's just guys.
I just feel like I have this little bit of animosity.....I m not sure if thats the word, but I still question some things.
Life my profile was blocked so I could never see the profile. He says he didnt block me, so I guessing it was his ex girl friend.
any advice, opinions???
I figure these things may happen in marriage.


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## KimatraAKM (May 1, 2013)

Close the account.. if he has the password he can close it. Have him give you the password. I wouldn't trust a man who said another girl made him an account. Heck no..

besides, what's he doing in close contact with these exs?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Bonnie said:


> ...but guys are nasty... She says that's just guys...


Sexist generalizations will not serve you well.

Why do you still have his exs involved in your married life? He should have no contact with them.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Hmm, I doubt an ex would go though the trouble then give him the password, he being ok with it. Not notice you are blocked. Seems like a far fetched story to me. Meaning I would dig further.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

You also say another phony account, let me guess the last one was also set up by someone's else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

yes, the first account was set up by his friend. I think he thought I was talking to guys, and he thought I may have been in contact with my ex as well, so he said "well if your talking to whomever, then what does it matter who I talk to" he said he saw that some guys hit in me on my facebook, and that I am friends with my ex's sisters, so ...he doesnt think that is right. I guess he is just sneaky sometimes. I figure it could be worse......


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

mablenc said:


> Hmm, I doubt an ex would go though the trouble then give him the password, he being ok with it. Not notice you are blocked. Seems like a far fetched story to me. Meaning I would dig further.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think your right. I feel like he is giving me so much truth, I think he doesn't want to see me more hurt or jeopardize his marriage....


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

he owns his own business, car alarms and such, so he said the ex called him for question about her car, then proceeded with you know you have another fb account, and he looked and she told him which one it was, and them asked him if he wanted the password. He said sure I guess, and asked her if she made the account she said no, and then he asked who did, and she said she may know who did.....in a sneeqy way, she said this.


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

827Aug said:


> Sexist generalizations will not serve you well.
> 
> Why do you still have his exs involved in your married life? He should have no contact with them.


what about ex siblings???


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Sounds fishy to me. And not all men do those kinds of things


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Bonnie said:


> he owns his own business, car alarms and such, so he said the ex called him for question about her car, then proceeded with you know you have another fb account, and he looked and she told him which one it was, and them asked him if he wanted the password. He said sure I guess, and asked her if she made the account she said no, and then he asked who did, and she said she may know who did.....in a sneeqy way, she said this.


This is lies.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I have a bridge to sell you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> I have a bridge to sell you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


are you making a joke?


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

This is not something that 'may happen in a marriage.'

He is lying to you.

Isn't that why you're here? Because you're afraid he is lying, but don't want to believe it?


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

He hasnt had a pa, and I dont think he will. If i thought so I would leave him then for sure.
he did have the account deleted, and also deactivated his own account, that i do know of.
I honestly hope that this is his last mistake with me as far as being dishonest and unloyal
I am very happy with him, Im comfortable, I know him and how he is and I want a second child which we said we will try for it at the end of the summer.
He is a good father, he is not perfect, and i do believe in second chances, but if you mess up a second time...your out!
my hubby likes thrills, and is a horn dog, I know this. And I think I like it anyways, he breaks me out of my shell. He backs me up when were out-what married people should do-I just dont think the problem is too bad. He took a look at things and was doing thinks he shouldnt have, but didnt do anything too bad, he was just dishonest and was not loyal to me.
I think this is workable. As of right now we are fine, and I did make it clear to him, no more talking to any ex's
I asked him if it bothered him that much that i am still in contact with my exs sister in law and siblings, I think it does bother him. 
so.....i guess i can defriend them. I had just became close to them during my past relationship.
thankyou everyone for your comments though. I do appreciate it, and taking the time to read my little story problem!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

That's a lot of bull**** in a single OP.

No way I'd buy his tall tale
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> This is not something that 'may happen in a marriage.'
> 
> He is lying to you.
> 
> Isn't that why you're here? Because you're afraid he is lying, but don't want to believe it?


I havent been a complete angel myself. Im sure he had a gut feeling about it.
I thing that stuff like this happens in some marriages, its two people, we make mistakes.
He did take ownership, and come clean with his story, however im just not sure about this story yet, so he may be lying, and I will continue to keep asking and asking him questions over and over, eventually it will come out if there is more to it

yes, that is why I am posting, and naturally, I do not want to believe that he is lying.

is there something else I should do???


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

tacoma said:


> That's a lot of bull**** in a single OP.
> 
> No way I'd buy his tall tale
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


what is op???
other person?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Bonnie said:


> what is op???
> other person?


The Original Post in the thread.
Your opening post.

Let me clarify that the Bull**** I'm talking about isn't what you wrote, it's the excuses he gave you.

They're lies Bonnie.


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

i will keep asking questions though.


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

tacoma said:


> The Original Post in the thread.
> Your opening post.
> 
> Let me clarify that the Bull**** I'm talking about isn't what you wrote, it's the excuses he gave you.
> ...


oh ok. well, everyone so far is saying the same things. So I need to make like shaun t and dig deeper......gesh......:scratchhead:


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

im saying gesh because, i hate having to go through all this......I cant stand dishonesty........or being made to look like a fool......


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Bonnie said:


> im saying gesh because, i hate having to go through all this......I cant stand dishonesty........or being made to look like a fool......


I know, it sucks having to live that way, not being able to trust the one person you should be able to.


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

yeah. He is 42 and I am going to be 32 this july. so I really dont feel like being in the dating game again. And at my age ready for the second little one. I will see how this goes tonight when he gets home from work.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Bonnie said:


> I havent been a complete angel myself. Im sure he had a gut feeling about it.
> I thing that stuff like this happens in some marriages, its two people, we make mistakes.


It is unclear what this is supposed to mean but it insinuates there is mutual marriage traitorship. 

That's actually backwards. It's mutual fidelity that constitutes a marriage, not reciprocity with infidelity. Infidelity has a lot of forms, not just sexual impropriety.

The whole facebook thing - who cares what the exact story is. It's a cesspool of deceit regardless. If you can't stand dishonesty then you sure are eating a huge helping of it there...


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## All of a sudden (Jan 24, 2013)

Fock facebook! It really seems like it causes problems in a lot of marraiges. The ex is an ex cause they were aholes in the past ect. People fantasize how great their relationship was, its so weird.

Your husband sounds like a liar, 2 facebook accounts setup by other people? Really? No one has never done facebooks on me, but maybe I'm wrong! Have others had other people set up fake facebook accounts on you?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Bonnie said:


> what about ex siblings???


Who even brought them up? Your post was about his ex-girlfriends. But, if we are going to go there, I probably wouldn't have any contact with them either. I guess that depends on boundaries and how much drama you like to have in your marriage though.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Bonnie - 

There are always murky situations, where the truth can easily appear to be a lie and vice versa.

Your story doesn't fit into this category. It very easily does not pass the 'duck test': 'If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.'

Your husband's story is ridiculous.

I get that you are weary and don't want to have to confront the fact that he is behaving like a dirtbag, but he's a duck here. You can choose to brush it under the rug. Definitely your choice if it makes things easier and you can live with it.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

827Aug said:


> Who even brought them up? Your post was about his ex-girlfriends. But, if we are going to go there, I probably wouldn't have any contact with them either. I guess that depends on boundaries and how much drama you like to have in your marriage though.


OP mentioned she still has contact with her Ex's sister
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

He is clearly lying and you are in big denial, which happens, you dont want to see the truth yet.

when you do check his email, computer, phone put a VAR in his car and you will find out how bad the situation is. Im sorry to be so blunt but you seem to be way in denial.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Bonnie said:


> He hasnt had a pa, and I dont think he will. If i thought so I would leave him then for sure.
> he did have the account deleted, and also deactivated his own account, that i do know of.
> I honestly hope that this is his last mistake with me as far as being dishonest and unloyal
> I am very happy with him, Im comfortable, I know him and how he is and I want a second child which we said we will try for it at the end of the summer.
> ...


Bonnie. You are heading for a heap of trouble here.

The whole Facebook story, as I already pointed out, is total lies.

In these lies he is treating you like a fool. He is showing contempt for you.

Nobody thinks their spouse is capable of a PA. That's why they married them in the first place. What you are seeing are enormous red flags.

Why would he have this other profile? Why then lie about it? Why tell you such an outrageous story - one that sounds like it was concocted with some drinking buddies for a bet to see who could come up with the most ridiculous story that no one could possibly believe.

Please, do not bring another child into this until you know what is going on.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

*Re: Re: husband had another phoney facebook profile*



KimatraAKM said:


> Close the account.. if he has the password he can close it. Have him give you the password. I wouldn't trust a man who said another girl made him an account. Heck no..
> 
> besides, what's he doing in close contact with these exs?


Even if he closes it. If someone logs into it again, it'll be re opened. He'll need to change the password and then close it to prevent anyone else from logging it. Even at that the forgot password would be sent to the email the account was created under, which would be the ex? So she can still access it and keep it acive. 

Better off to just delete everything on it. All friends and every photo.


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

hmmm.....My moms boyfriend said it was just innocent BS....Its not that I m in complete denial. If I was, I would not be questioning it. I like the idea of a var...I think I might do that, really where i think I should put that is in his office at work....so, thank you for the idea. I will find a reason to go in his office and do that.
I like facebook because I can share all my humanity things and caring for animals....
I never cheated on him. I don't want nothing to do with my ex, we were just together for so long and went through a lot together, (my dad passing, his dad passing) that I did make friendships with his sister and sister in law. I don't talk on the phone with them but every now and then on Facebook.
He has always been there for me and his daughter, he is a good provider also.
It wasn't until recently, like this February, (our anniversary) I have felt really secure in my marriage. I didn't think we would last and it didn't feel genuine. But he has a hard time showing emotions, and when he does I tell him he smothers me......
were getting along as of now. He knows that I still think he is telling me a half truth.
I just feel comfortable and really don't feel like dating and having to meet someone new and all their quirks, likes, and dislikes. 
I do love my husband. People that know us say we make a good couple/team. 
I think he just likes a lot of attention. But he is just complex, cause if its too much he also, like me, feels smothered. we are both complex people.
I am not an easy person to live with either. 
so with all that being said, I think we have a lot to work on. I don't think he messed around. I can tell pretty good when he is lying (that's why I kept telling him he better come out with the truth over and over, and made him stay the night somewhere else), and I do get gut feelings pretty strong when something isn't right. I am not getting any more of that at the moment. 
I appreciate all the input.


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

Chris989 said:


> Bonnie. You are heading for a heap of trouble here.
> 
> Why would he have this other profile? Why then lie about it? Why tell you such an outrageous story - one that sounds like it was concocted with some drinking buddies for a bet to see who could come up with the most ridiculous story that no one could possibly believe.
> 
> Please, do not bring another child into this until you know what is going on.


He doesn't go out with his buddies for drinks, he comes straight home after work.
I am super jealous, and i already go into his Facebook account that I knew about. I got mad because he made friends with jenny McCarthy......
He doesn't go out period unless its both of us together....
I thought maybe that's why, because I'm so bossy myself........idk


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Bonnie there is no such thing as innocent bull****! My wife's Facebook burnt me.


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

MrBrains said:


> Bonnie there is no such thing as innocent bull****! My wife's Facebook burnt me.


Oh wow. What did she do if you don't mind me asking?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

All i know is, for me to call it quits, i need some hard evidence. So i knower of the VAR, I'm going to get one today because the one i have is not voice activated. Of anyone knows of something else let me know. Everyone is telling me its all bs. So say it is, then what? What am i supposed to do? I'm in Nursing school, not working, married to hook, with a three year old, mortgage, car note.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

Bonnie said:


> All i know is, for me to call it quits, i need some hard evidence. So i knower of the VAR, I'm going to get one today because the one i have is not voice activated. Of anyone knows of something else let me know. Everyone is telling me its all bs. So say it is, then what? What am i supposed to do? I'm in Nursing school, not working, married to hook, with a three year old, mortgage, car note.....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

Sorry lots of typos, on phone
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Bonnie said:


> Oh wow. What did she do if you don't mind me asking?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She reconnected with a guy from her high school. A banker in town. They were never before lovers. He started taking her out to eat while I was at work. As you can guess I don't believe they didn't have sex. It started with messaging on facebook at night and grew from there. I messaged him myself when I discovered it. A bit too late. Facebook is the devil. http://www.geeksugar.com/Facebook-Divorce-Statistics-14661424


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Bonnie, seriously...DO NOT have another child with this man! Not so soon anyway! He is LYING to you, acting like a kid in high school, and you are making excuses for him because you dont want to see the truth.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

"hmmm.....My moms boyfriend said it was just innocent BS...:

of course she says that she's his mother. talk to someone who cares about you and you will get the same thing we are telling you here. 

Sorry, but believing the crazy ex girlfriend story is like believing in the tooth fairy at the age of 40.


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## Bonnie (Nov 16, 2012)

no, my moms boyfriend, not my husband-were married


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