# I am I over reacting?



## Misplacedwife (Nov 16, 2010)

As of right now my DH and I are separated. Which is a long story. I am angry with him and I am trying to let go of all of the anger but it is hard. Monday our daughter had ear tubes put in, not that big of a deal but I was a very stressed out mama about all of the “what ifs”. Anyways she did awesome with the surgery and well with the recovery. I am staying at my parents house for now. 

This is the part that is bringing on all of the anger. He never called to check on her! Not even a facebook message. He called when I was giving her a bath and told my mom that he would bring over the ear plugs on Tuesday. He never did that. He hasn’t called to check on her at all. It is like he has dumped her off with me and forgot about her. 
He talks all of the talk on how much he loves his daughter and I doubt it. Talk is cheap. I am sure there is love there and I am not the one to judge that. 

It angers me that he couldn’t pick up the phone and call! I am not calling him because he told me not to call him unless there was something wrong with our daughter. Or if she was asking for him which she has only asked for him a couple of times since Friday. 

How can I let go of this anger? Do you think I am over reacting?


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

No, I don't think you are. This was one time where, regardless of the situation between you two, he should have been there. I don't want to pass judgment or call someone a lousy parent, but if I was an "almighty judge", I would be telling him that he has one foot in deep s**t with me right now.


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## deb9017 (Nov 8, 2010)

No, I do not think you are overreacting at all. She is his baby too, and I would think he would want to call and see how she was. No, it is not a huge surgery, but if you are a parent I would think you would still be concerned. I know that I would be.


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## LeahKoenig (Nov 19, 2010)

I think you are getting the validation that anger and sadness are not misplaced here. Your dream is to have your little girl be treasured by both her parents and for you that would be demonstrated through a act of presence by her parents. 

I am not sure if you are separated and headed towards divorce or are just taking a break. If you are separated going through to divorce you are now writing your very own story with your daughter. Her father will write his own. Your story is that you were beside your daughter at the hospital, you brought her home to the care of her extended family. You want her to know that you get that this is a scary procedure for her and won't minimize it with logic and you will be there with her. Don't lose the beautiful story you are writing. Hold on to that story. Hold on to that experience you are giving your daughter of your presence. You are living what is important to you. Your husband will find his own path, your daughter will find her way with him. This is now all about how you want to live your life with your daughter and it sounds like you are doing it true to your heart. Don't minimize this by thinking what was missing, embrace what was present - YOU.


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