# My wife's midlife crisis



## goingthruit (Jul 21, 2009)

After nearly thirty years, my wife's personality has changed and she wants to just be friends. We are both in our early fifties, no kids, financially stable, look and feel way younger and are, and have good health. 
She woke up one morning and came to the realization that she would like to act as though she was in her twenties again. Call it hormonal, mentalpause or whatever you like, but needless to say it has shaken my world apart.

She tells me that she has felt that we have been living like friends for years and not much will ever change in our relationship. To be honest, she's probably right. 

I was not the most thoughtful, caring husband, and I took a lot for granted, but after all our time together, neither one of us ever did anything, that is typical, of the reason a lot of people separate ( affairs, verbal abuse, etc....) 

I was not ready for this and in a lot of ways wish that it happened fifteen years ago when we were younger. She has a far greater advantage as far as dating goes, just by being an interesting, attractive, financially secure, childless woman. For myself and from what I hear from co-workers my own age, is that dating at my age, although I look and act at least ten years younger is brutal. I haven't heard many good and encouraging comments. I don't drink so I'm not into the bar scene, but fortunately I live in a city.

I need to accept what she wants, and keep her as my best friend. Let her spread her wings and fly, but this past week I'm falling apart, and have had to miss work, can't eat or sleep, and feel horrible. How can I make tis stop. All replies appreciated.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

i can't imagine the meaning to her proposition. i have LOTS of friends. but none like my wife. that doesn't mean i JUST want to be friends.

i'm sure that feels like a step down for you. how are things progressing?


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

It sounds like that, even though this shocked you, you are in agreement with the breakup?

What kind of relationship do you have? Is there love? Is there intimacy? Are you just roomates? Do you enjoy things together?

I am not sure what she means by acting like she is in her 20's? The bar scene and single.

By the way, I think the dating scene isn't great. However, I am feeling that attractive and honest men are in short supply? This is what I am told....


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

goingthruit said:


> She woke up one morning and came to the realization that she would like to act as though she was in her twenties again.


Soooo, is she asking for a divorce? A separation? Or is she looking to hang on to you, the stability of the relationship and be free to date? If that is what she seeks then she needs to do it on her own and after you end your marriage with her. I suggest you tell her that. Otherwise you are just "Plan B".


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## goingthruit (Jul 21, 2009)

Since we have been together for nearly thirty years we both know that it would be nearly impossible to want to be out of each others lives. We still get along the same as always.
If anything we are both very practical and realize that we could both live more comfortably if we lived in the same house. 
It's as though a Jeannie has been let out of the bottle, and it's never going back inside. 

She thinks we can be close and even intimate, since nothing has really changed since she made the announcement that she wants to be on her own. 
We still live together and could even continue doing so, for a while, if I can wrap my head around what she wants.
Who knows, It may be the kick in the ass that I need to move on.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

It sounds like you are wrestling with the idea of things staying the same with your wife but allowing each other space???


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## mrslmndz (Apr 14, 2009)

Do you know if she's getting emotionally attached to someone else? are you willing to have the cake and eat it as well? I think its harder for a women to find real nice decent man than for man to find a gal. for what i heard there are fifteen women to one man.


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