# Husband had feelings for coworker



## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

Hi, i’m having problems getting over the fact that my husband had feelings for one of his co workers. They’ve had a very close relationship over the years (while my husband and I were just boyfriend/girlfriend), and now that we are married, they still remained close friends until now (well i hope so). Two days ago I found a post card he got from her for his birthday, in his gym bag. It read “To my Guy T, you are more cherished than you think, from your girl S”… I immediately flipped, I called him over the phone, screaming to the top of my voice how inappropriate that card was as well as the “friendship” they shared. I am extremely hurt as over the years, I’ve questioned their friendship and was always “reassured” that it wasn’t that big of a deal; it was nothing. I’ve read their countless conversations and found it inappropriate as it included jokes that contained sexual innuendos, sharing of each other’s relationship issues with their significant others (which i’ve always objected to, since the female in question is familiar with me and I wished that my business remained private), one example of the inappropriateness of their friendship was that he tagged her in a picture of a penis with a “snickers” chocolate wrapper logo stuck to it (it was not his penis, it was just a random meme floating on the internet)… My husband and I have had arguments over this and the last time before this incident, he reassured me that he would “fix” the problem. His meaning of fixing the problem, was deleting the text messages and phone calls so that I wouldn’t see them, however, on different occasions, I’ve seen that they still had their close relationship going(as the conversations suggested), unfortunately, the next time I picked up his phone, the messages were deleted, phone calls as well. Its only until the postcard incident, that I mentioned earlier, I told him that I was leaving him, I messaged his parents that as well. Its only then, he became serious about cutting off their “friendship” and mentioned to me that he was sorry. During that moment, I felt relieved and comforted and reassured him that I loved him. At that moment I thought I had forgiven him, until now. Two days later, I’m angry, depressed, and hurt all over again. I feel as if I let him off too easy. I feel as if I want revenge and I want to see him hurt the same way he hurt me. I feel betrayed and misled, since over the years, his reassurance that their relationship was not inappropriate, have turned out to be a lie. Now my issue is trusting him now, as I believe that cheating begins in the mind. He claimed that they never had any sexual relations or physical contact, which I believe, but I can’t get over the fact that he felt this way about another person for so long! I felt as if I was cheated on… Am I over-reacting? Was it really not that a big of a deal? We’ve opted to go for counselling. All advice is welcomed please. I really need it.

Ps. we’ve been married for 6 months and share a beautiful baby boy.

Shay


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

No, and usually people don't change their behavior until they have something to lose.

I would stealthily watch him, and trust takes a long time to get back, and it is never 100.

You are going to go through a roller coaster of emotions. 

Yes, he put you into this situation.

Detach a bit, and keep yourself independent just in case.

He has poor boundaries, and can't handle opposite sex friendship. 

He can't draw the line between friends and something more.

You already know he has a history of being dishonest.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

6 month old boy, eh? Wait...doesn't it take 9 months? But seriously, aren't you confident in your own charms and attractiveness? My wife gets cards from admirers often , even from past boyfriends. I don't ever feel nervous about them because I know she loves Me!


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

ankh said:


> 6 month old boy, eh? Wait...doesn't it take 9 months? But seriously, aren't you confident in your own charms and attractiveness? My wife gets cards from admirers often , even from past boyfriends. I don't ever feel nervous about them because I know she loves Me!


Yes, 6 months... don't judge! We've been together for 6 Years 

Since this situation, my self esteem is crushed. I know I'm a beautiful young lady! I hear you that your wife gets cards from past boyfriends, it all well and good as I don't have a problem with my husband receiving gifts from female friends. I just found the words "To my guy T, you are cherished more than you think, From your girl S" I found it highly inappropriate since we've had numerous discussions about this female in question. Did you read my entire post? thank you for replying


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

Mr.Fisty said:


> No, and usually people don't change their behavior until they have something to lose.
> 
> I would stealthily watch him, and trust takes a long time to get back, and it is never 100.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the reply! Noted


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

I confess I should have read it more carefully. Sorry about my haste in replying. Yea, it sounds like hubby is a bit dense about this other woman. Shame on him. Gotta focus on activities that help you build your own self esteem, independent of hubby and his affections for you. It's always wonderful when two are madly and passionately in love with each other. Sometimes it takes work to get your relationship there.


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## Coco2014 (May 8, 2014)

My first thought was you should leave him since you were just married. But unfortunately, you already have a baby together. It makes it more difficult. 

But anyway, it is what it is. He has showed you who he is and this is how it is going to be in the future. Don't expect to change him. It is really up to you to decide you want to live with it or not. I think you should emotionally detach from him and prepare your way out.


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

Well, let's see here...

You scream and argue and want revenge... Plus "discussions."

Tell me, how is this coming across to your husband? 

That's right, a raging B...

So, if you REALLY want an end the discussion, end the relationship.


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## Midlifeturmoil (Dec 30, 2013)

I am not an expert on affairs. Many here are. But I don't have to be to see that this is one. EA at least and PA very possible. His disrespect for you is astonishing...and 6 months married with a new baby? Wow. Just wow. 

And I agree. The freak out screaming approach will not cut it. You have to figure out if you are going to find out how far this has gone or if you know enough already. Either way, you have to take control with firm steady conviction and resolve. Not screaming fits, begging, whining, or nagging. 

The counseling is a good step and a good sign. 

This will not be easy and will take time. If they are in love already, it isn't over no matter what he says. No way this ends until he finds a job where she ain't. Are you ready for that? Is he ready for that? My guess is "no". Others will suggest the detailed approach you should consider. Follow their advice. Your husband is talking about you to HIS GIRLFRIEND! and sexting her and lying and...

Sending some firm resolve and a little peace your way Shay. Best of luck


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## droll (Nov 11, 2014)

You're not overreacting, their closeness to each other is not appropriate. You don't have to make revenge, let his bad karma come to him. TRUST is the hardest thing to give and to break. Maybe it takes a long time to bring back your trust to him.


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

Hey guys, everything was going fine. In our little talks , I mentioned to my husband that if i only see a 'hi' message on his phone i was walking out. I went to this extreme just to let him understand how serious I was about him cutting all ties. However, recently he had an event that he catered for and was in urgent need of some utensils, seeing that she lived close by, he called her amd went to her place and borrowed them (utensils). I was furious. Again, im asking, am i over reacting? I feel like he didnt take my word and our marriage serious since i warned him before that if he said hi, i would leave. Advice and comments please.... sigh ?


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

If he wants to talk about utensils, let him know you will prune his tree if he steps out of line.


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

Soo what exactly are you saying? I sould let thos one slide?


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

Excuse the typos. Its 11:25pm. Im tired .


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

Shay said:


> he called her amd went to her place and borrowed them (utensils).


I bet he wanted her two fork.


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

Lol. Hmm. Noooo. He really did just borrowed them. Stop kidding. Lets be serious.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Shay said:


> I mentioned to my husband that if i only see a 'hi' message on his phone i was walking out.
> 
> ...he was in urgent need of some utensils, seeing that she lived close by, *he called her and went to her place* and borrowed them (utensils).
> 
> Advice and comments please.... sigh ?


You asked for advice, so here's mine.

You drew your line in the sand (no contact, not even a "hi").

He blew that boundary wide open (he went to see her and "borrowed utensils" -- yeah right.)

You did nothing.

He now knows that your ultimatums are meaningless. He will continue to violate your boundaries. I'm guessing they already have a new communication method -- Snapchat, Words with Friends, Ruzzle, burner phone, new "private" email account that you don't know about, etc.

Good for you for exposing his bullish*t to his family. Time to follow through. Kick him out and file for divorce. If he steps up to the plate, you can always halt the divorce. If he doesn't, you're just that much further along to getting on with your life without a liar/cheater.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Your thread title needs to read "Husband *has* feelings for coworker".
Three people in a marriage = no marriage.
Your husband is unwilling to give up his girlfriend and won't give her up unless he feels a need to do so. With no consequences, he feels no need. 

Either accept that he is going to keep a girlfriend on the side (this one or another one) or take the baby and leave and tell him to go be with his 'true love'. He has blatantly disrespected you and your relationship for years - enough is enough. Don't let him tell you that you're overreacting - tell him that he has under performed as a husband and father.

You can always reconcile with strong boundaries in place.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> He now knows that your ultimatums are meaningless.


This pretty well covers it.

Follow through on your ultimatum or expect more of the same.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

Shay said:


> Hey guys, everything was going fine. In our little talks , I mentioned to my husband that if i only see a 'hi' message on his phone i was walking out. I went to this extreme just to let him understand how serious I was about him cutting all ties. However, recently he had an event that he catered for and was in urgent need of some utensils, seeing that she lived close by, he called her amd went to her place and borrowed them (utensils). I was furious. Again, im asking, am i over reacting? I feel like he didnt take my word and our marriage serious since i warned him before that if he said hi, i would leave. Advice and comments please.... sigh ?


Seriously, she was the only source of these unique utensils? No nearby store? No other person or place within a 15 minute drive of him could provide him with a couple utensils? That is Bullsh*t. 

He made a choice and broke the no contact! He said way more than just "hi" even if he only said "can I borrow some utensils?" AND he went to her place to get them? That is way over the line that you clearly drew in the sand. You have to follow through or your ultimatum is useless and their contact will be on again (if it isn't already by hidden means anyway). 

If he was in desperate need of these utensils and he took seriously the what contact meant for your marriage, he could have contacted someone else or found the nearest Walmart (or whatever store) and made do with whatever he could get ahold of. Or if his "friend" is the only person in the world capable of providing said utensils in time, then your husband should have asked someone else to contact her to ask her to drop the utensils off at the catered event location in public view.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Shay said:


> Hey guys, everything was going fine. In our little talks , I mentioned to my husband that if i only see a 'hi' message on his phone i was walking out. I went to this extreme just to let him understand how serious I was about him cutting all ties. However, recently he had an event that he catered for and was in urgent need of some utensils, seeing that she lived close by, he called her amd went to her place and borrowed them (utensils). I was furious. Again, im asking, am i over reacting? I feel like he didnt take my word and our marriage serious since i warned him before that if he said hi, i would leave. Advice and comments please.... sigh ?


Well you have given him your permission to continue with his affair by not following through on your ultimatum. So either leave, or accept his girlfriend.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Shay said:


> Hey guys, everything was going fine. In our little talks , I mentioned to my husband that if i only see a 'hi' message on his phone i was walking out. I went to this extreme just to let him understand how serious I was about him cutting all ties. However, recently he had an event that he catered for and was in urgent need of some utensils, seeing that she lived close by, he called her amd went to her place and borrowed them (utensils). I was furious. Again, im asking, am i over reacting? I feel like he didnt take my word and our marriage serious since i warned him before that if he said hi, i would leave. Advice and comments please.... sigh ?





ReidWright said:


> I bet he wanted her two fork.





Shay said:


> Lol. Hmm. Noooo. He really did just borrowed them. Stop kidding. Lets be serious.


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## tryingpatience (May 7, 2014)

Shay said:


> Hey guys, everything was going fine. In our little talks , I mentioned to my husband that if i only see a 'hi' message on his phone i was walking out. I went to this extreme just to let him understand how serious I was about him cutting all ties. However, recently he had an event that he catered for and was in urgent need of some utensils, seeing that she lived close by, he called her amd went to her place and borrowed them (utensils). I was furious. Again, im asking, am i over reacting? I feel like he didnt take my word and our marriage serious since i warned him before that if he said hi, i would leave. Advice and comments please.... sigh ?


You aren't over reacting from my point of view. As others have stated, it's about boundaries. If he won't do MC with you to address these boundary issues, you need to leave. This is a dangerous game he is playing with your marriage. With his actions he has basically shown you that he doesn't care about protecting your marriage. You confronting them has probably made them take their relationship underground. Sorry you are here. You have to draw that line and enforce it. Figure out what you are willing to put up with.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Shay,

I have read this entire thread.....NO YOU ARE NOT BEING RIDICULOUS.

Like others have already said, your ultimatum didn't work becuase you did not enforce it. Your husband will continue this inappropriate friendship because he knows there are no consequences for his actions.

I get that maybe you aren't ready to leave yet. But what you can do is implement the 180 on your husband. Take care of your needs & your baby boy's needs. Cook for yourself & clean the house up like you normally would. Go to the gym & refocus on you. Act like your husband is not in the picture (let him cook for himself, do his own laundry, etc.). Only speak to him if you really need to & when you do act like nothing is bothering you.

Implementing the 180 not only sends a message that you aren't playing, but it also prepares you for the possibility of a life without your husband. I would also plant voice activated recorders (VAR) in his car to see what your husband is really up to.

If you ever want to PM me, you can. My husband had a female friend that had to go, so I understand your position.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Shay said:


> Hey guys, everything was going fine. In our little talks , I mentioned to my husband that if i only see a 'hi' message on his phone i was walking out. I went to this extreme just to let him understand how serious I was about him cutting all ties. However, recently he had an event that he catered for and was in urgent need of some utensils, seeing that she lived close by, he called her amd went to her place and borrowed them (utensils). I was furious. Again, im asking, am i over reacting? I feel like he didnt take my word and our marriage serious since i warned him before that if he said hi, i would leave. Advice and comments please.... sigh ?


You set a boundary with anything that looks to be a simple "Hi" in a text that you would leave. Your dope of a H decided going to the OW house for utensils was ok? Boundary broke in my book. Time to show him the consequence. Send him packing.


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## hubbydude (May 15, 2014)

Two points...

1) We can't help who we are attracted to. If your husband said he wasn't attracted to this woman then he would be a liar. He's actually being honest with you. I think your problem is not the attraction (you're attracted to other people too, I'm sure), it's the fact that you made it known to him that you did not like the nature of their relationship and yet he continued it anyway. That's the problem, and that's what you need to focus on.

2) The reason he continued their inappropriate relationship despite your protestations is because you allowed it. And, as others have already said, the reason he continues to do it still is because you continue to allow it still. So be angry if that's what it takes to put your foot down. Don't be a door mat. Make sure he fully understands that he is to have no more contact with this woman AT ALL, unless you approve it. That's not overreacting, it's simply making up for not putting your foot down previously.

In short, he didn't cheat, don't allow him to!


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Hmmm... Shay has not been back since 12/13...

Shay, have you read any of the advice you've been given? Are you still here?

Is this another "one hit wonder" thread?

*sigh*


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## NewToHeartBreak (Jul 8, 2014)

You can't help who your attracted to but you can help how you act on it. 

I think the OP request for him to not contact her was perfectly reasonable. If he values this friendship more then his marriage it is either not just a "friendship" or he doesn't value the marriage much.


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

Thanks forbthe advice folks. It was gr8ly apprieciated. Things were extremely rough after posting, so I didn't have the mental strength to post in this forum... so no, i'm not a one hit wonder! Things are alot better with my hisband and I, we managed to be on good terms for the holidays and we both enjoyed. We are starting MC this week which is a gr8 start for the new year!

I must add, he is a teacher so he was home all holidays with us (our son and I), so it was easy for me not to worry about him being around his coworker, but now, since holidays are over, he went back out to work this week and I realised that all my insecurities are coming back. This morning I noticed that everything I was angry with him about is suddenly replaying in my mind and im getting upset all over again... sigh.

Anyway, Happy New Year everyone!?


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## tryingpatience (May 7, 2014)

Since it is a new year, I think you need to try something different. I didn't realize that your H was a teacher. Don't want you to get paranoid, but you need to follow some of the VAR advice given to you by JustTired in an earlier post.

If you still feel like something is wrong you need to follow your gut. It is telling you something. How were the holidays? Anything different between the two of you? Less or more affection/sex?


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

I think you went too easy on him. He's made a habit of trying to pull the wool over your eyes. In my opinion...just deleting the texts and stuff so you don't see isn't fixing the problem. It's hiding it.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

So, your husband teaches catering?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Shay said:


> I am extremely hurt as *over the years*, I’ve questioned their friendship and was always “reassured” that it wasn’t that big of a deal; it was nothing.


Just goes to show that the gut is usually right in these situations. You sensed something was off and it sounds like it very well is. 



Shay said:


> one example of the inappropriateness of their friendship was that he tagged her in a picture of a penis with a “snickers” chocolate wrapper logo stuck to it (it was not his penis, it was just a random meme floating on the internet)…
> 
> Ps. we’ve been married for 6 months and share a beautiful baby boy.


I'm guessing this is a long-term EA now, since you mentioned you have questioned their "relationship" for years. it's definitely inappropriate. His deleting calls/texts says it all. 

Who is this chick? Is she married/partnered? 

I would tell him very clearly that he can do whatever he wants but if he continues to do this that you are not going to tolerate it - because he is disrespecting your relationship over and over and over again.

It is very clear their relationship is not just a "friendship."


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> So, your husband teaches catering?


Yeah, I'm confused :scratchhead:


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

OP,

I think your reaction and the way you handled the situation was inappropriate (completely). 

First, when something important comes up in a relationship you need to talk face to face (to gauge his honesty better/feel atmosphere and see body language).

Second, Screaming and flipping out only does harm. That's not how Adult conversation should be handled. What you should've done is recognize your emotion/cool off/collect your thoughts/think and talk to him about it face to face.

Third, why in the world would you marry a man that has a women as a close friend. Not only that, you had a child with him? All of the stuff you wrote should've been HUGE red flags prior to marriage. To proceed with at guy that has inappropriate relationship AT WORK (which btw is a HUGE nono even for someone that's single).......and not deal with it/address it prior is not very smart.

Now you have the consequences. You are married/have a child and there is SO much more on the line.

Don't get me wrong, he is the CORE of the issue, but you are not exactly in the right either. 

I would go back and sit him face to face and have a serious conversation with him. Be calm, if you are angry .......wait until you are not. It's HARD (if not impossible) to make smart decisions while in anger.

Talk to him, tell him how you feel and what his friendship is doing to your marriage. I would ask him to completely end this friendship right away and also find a new job. Assuming he accepts, take his words with a grain of salt.......ACTIONS is what you want to watch after that point and revisit his promise/acceptance every week or 2 until the problem is solved.

Personally, I believe that opposite sex friendships are extremely risky, inappropriate and disrespectful towards a marriage. HOWEVER, there are # of members here that have made it work, Wolf for example has a high school friend of 20 years that's opposite sex. I would imagine it would be hard to leave that behind for some new women in his life.

Your husband's friendship is not that old, and clearly it's causing issues in your relationship. Punt the ball to his court. He either disengages and stops it all together, or he doesn't and then you have to reconsider your marriage.

I'm not sure if I see any other choices here at this point....

Also, within a week or 2 I would ask him to hand over his phone and email account passwords right there and then. I would expect it handed over upon asking (to make sure he is serious). If he gets defensive/offensive or hesitates to give you the info upon asking......he is hiding stuff (and it's safe to assume he is still up to no good)......if he goes off and gives it to you later....he is going off to delete evidence (thus why I would expect this info upon asking).

Good luck


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

soccermom2three said:


> Blondilocks said:
> 
> 
> > So, your husband teaches catering?
> ...


No he doesn't... he's does that as a side job. I just mentioned he is a teacher to help yall understand y I was feelin a bit insecure as he was going back out to work... ps teachers get all the 'days off' that students get for holidays... duh! Lol jk.... so he was home for quite a while during that time.

I dont understand how that bit of info confuse yall ?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Well, duh, why don't you clarify if the girlfriend works at the school where he teaches or if she's on his catering staff.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

So they are both teachers and cater on the side? What a coincidence. 

Maybe I'm confusing posters but wasn't he supposed to be "no contact" then he saw her when he went to borrow spoons for a catering job. Now they work together as teachers but how are they supposed be no contact if they work at the same school?


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## tryingpatience (May 7, 2014)

soccermom2three said:


> So they are both teachers and cater on the side? What a coincidence.
> 
> Maybe I'm confusing posters but wasn't he supposed to be "no contact" then he saw her when he went to borrow spoons for a catering job. Now they work together as teachers but how are they supposed be no contact if they work at the same school?


That's why she needs to learn more about the situation. She's been given advice about getting a VAR.


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

soccermom2three said:


> So they are both teachers and cater on the side? What a coincidence.
> 
> Maybe I'm confusing posters but wasn't he supposed to be "no contact" then he saw her when he went to borrow spoons for a catering job. Now they work together as teachers but how are they supposed be no contact if they work at the same school?


Wth! You are misunderstanding me n yes confusing others. I never said SHE caters on the side. I said HE ( MY HUSBAND) CATERS ON THE SIDE...

She live close by to the event he catered that day.

She is not a teacher. She is the receptionist.


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## Shay (Nov 14, 2014)

DoF said:


> OP,
> 
> I think your reaction and the way you handled the situation was inappropriate (completely).
> 
> ...


Thanks for the advice... noted!


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Shay said:


> Thanks for the advice... noted!


Anytime, keep us posted.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

How does he know where she lives?


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## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

When you find out what she gives him that you don't, then you will find your answer. It won't be just sex, and it may not even any sex involved, like you said.

If he can be this honest, what of he says something like: "She makes me laugh and you are too serious most of the time." or "She understands me or sees me in a way that you don't"

Are you ready to hear those things?

Yeah, he shouldn't have gotten married and had a kid if you are not the right person for him but it happens. What do you do now? Get a divorce or make some changes, if possible (not just you, him too)

good luck


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

1) No, you are not overreacting. You should be upset and suspicious.

2) This sounds like something at least borderline emotional affair, if not more. In those situations I FIRMLY believe that it's very difficult to make progress in any other area of the relationship until the other person has clearly committed to ending the EA. If they haven't then everything else is flimsy and conditional. So he has to cut off all contact with the woman, and give you access to his phone and social media, and some time has to pass before you trust him again. 

3) Don't rush to forgive him right away, you need time to be angry about this, and he needs time to realize what's wrong with what he did. The fact that he went to her house shows that he clearly does not *get it* yet, so you can't forgive him when he doesn't even understand.

4) Despite what some say, your marriage is not necessarily over because of this. I had an EA once. Five years have now passed since it completely ended, and I never came close to having another one because I realized what I did wrong and how it harmed my marriage. I learned to set boundaries where I hadn't had them before. So if he really loves and cares about you somewhere deep down, and he's not a bad or broken person, he may be able to come to understand too, in time.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Cobalt said:


> When you find out what she gives him that you don't, then you will find your answer. It won't be just sex, and it may not even any sex involved, like you said.
> 
> If he can be this honest, what of he says something like: "She makes me laugh and you are too serious most of the time." or "She understands me or sees me in a way that you don't"
> 
> ...


I 100% disagree with this advice. The thing is, an EA partner ALWAYS seems to "see you" in the way that your spouse "doesn't." You know why? Because the EA partner is in the honeymoon phase with you, doesn't live with you, doesn't have to wipe your baby's ass, hasn't had time to learn all your warts. It's all fun in an EA, and people mistake that for "oh, this person really gets me, unlike my wife/husband." That's just a rationalization though.


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## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

John Lee said:


> I 100% disagree with this advice. The thing is, an EA partner ALWAYS seems to "see you" in the way that your spouse "doesn't." You know why? Because the EA partner is in the honeymoon phase with you, doesn't live with you, doesn't have to wipe your baby's ass, hasn't had time to learn all your warts. It's all fun in an EA, and people mistake that for "oh, this person really gets me, unlike my wife/husband." That's just a rationalization though.


I don't give "advice"  I just give my opinion/experinces

So if there in the "honeymoon period" (for several years) that doesn't mean it isn't happening or affecting his thought process.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Well, in my own experience, I had exactly those thoughts about my EA partner, but when I got some distance from it it was like "holy crap, it would have been a TRAINWRECK if I was married to her"


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## Cobalt (Nov 16, 2014)

John Lee said:


> Well, in my own experience, I had exactly those thoughts about my EA partner, but when I got some distance from it it was like "holy crap, i*t would have been a TRAINWRECK if I was married to her"*


I have those thoughts about her too but that doesn't stop the friendship now. In fact she just texted me about something she's jealous about that she totally misinterpreted


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