# Reaching the Boiling Pont



## jd08 (Nov 20, 2012)

Hi everyone. As the title suggests, I am getting to the point of hopeless frustration with my wife. 

Background: She's 30, I'm nearly 30, we've been married 5 1/2 years, together for 8 total. We have a 3 year old daughter. She works part time. I am basically the sole financial provider. She stayed home full time until this past summer. 

In the beginning our sex life was never "wild" averaging around once per week. However, I was satisfied with this. Since our daughter was born it's dwindled to about once or twice a month at most. 

I've tried talking to her, to no avail. I get frustrated, angry and resentful that she doesn't seem to understand or care that sex is important to our relationship. 

We are fighting on what seems like a bi-weekly basis over the lack of sex. We're in the middle of it now. 

Her answer to everything is to simply withdraw rather than talk about the issues. Tonight she put our daughter to bed around 8, watched TV for an hour, worked on a project for another hour and then fell asleep without so much as saying 2 or 3 words to me all night. 

She has made it clear that she views my need for more frequent sex as immaterial to our relationship. I looked at one of her text messages to her mother tonight where she described me as "acting like a baby" because I was upset. I will admit that I do tend to get upset with her over this but I just don't know what else to do. The pain and sadness of constant rejection has beaten me down.

Divorce is no option for me. I am a domestic attorney by trade and see first hand the trauma that divorce inflicts on families and children. There is no way in hell I want a court or judge telling me I can see my daughter 1 night a week. 

I've had opportunities to stray but have resisted because I can't rationalize hurting my family and my wife whom I do love and care about. Over time, however, my will is weakening. Not that I will ever act on it but this is just killing me. 

Is she being insensitive? I feel like I've tried to calmly express my position before and its like beating my head against a wall. She thinks I'm being a "baby" and to me that makes just want to give up trying. 

Thoughts?


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

She's not going to change.

Consider your current sex life with her as good as it's going to get.

You wont consider divorce or an affair.

All you got left is internet porn and a whole lot of Astroglide.


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## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

jd08 said:


> *In the beginning our sex life was never "wild" averaging around once per week.* However, I was satisfied with this. Since our daughter was born it's dwindled to about once or twice a month at most.
> 
> I've had opportunities to stray but have resisted because I can't rationalize hurting my family and my wife whom I do love and care about. Over time, however, my will is weakening. Not that I will ever act on it but this is just killing me.
> 
> Thoughts?


What did you expect? You were going to double that after you got married? You're doing a good job of not straying and as far as the D, you could always get legally separated? Thats a beast within itself. I see usually as if the person was averaging a certain amount, that may be likely to be cut in half or 75% after marriage. I don't why people think that once they have the cow then they have the milk forever. Yes you own the cow, you still have to feed it or the milk will dry up! Hence why people become angry, disconnected from a relationship quick. Id say MC and if she isn't willing to see it from someone else's point of view then you need to figure out a 3rd option thats suits you.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

You daughter will get old enough very soon to see that your family has issues and will think that is how a relationship is supposed to be so you can keep staying for your daughter ,but that just may hurt her more then it helps her.

If you are going to stay then the guy above said it right [All you got left is internet porn and a whole lot of Astroglide] and pretty soon you will be having no sex.


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