# Last tidbit advice please, and I'll take it from here.



## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## SimonLLL (Jan 29, 2012)

Honestly?

We can't tell if he's interested. We're not there to 'read' him.

But you have struck up a friendship with someone who seems like a nice guy. That's a very good start.

I'm sorry to disagree with your friend, but flirting like mad may be too much for him and uncomfortable for you. Use the next hike to get to know him a bit better. If you're all out of breath and trying to flirt, the multi-tasking could mess it all up!

You are family friends so there is shared history between your parents. He may be wary of rushing things and is wanting to get to know you first hand, rather than through his and your mother's relationship.

Try a hike where there's a coffee shop or cafe close by so that you could perhaps stop and have a drink and a bite to eat. Breaking the ice slowly. Then, if that's comfortable, you could move on to dinner with friends and then just the two of you, and so on.

Softly, softly, catchee monkey!!


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## SimonLLL (Jan 29, 2012)

Good for you.

Love that you are prepared to stand on your own merits and personality here. That's what will get him (if he's interested), not artifice!

And honestly, applelemon, be prepared for "I'm really enjoying just being friends" speech. Smile, and say "Hey, no worries - wanted to know and I appreciate your honesty!"

Good luck!!


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

applelemon said:


> Phew... thanks simon... I had a feeling my friend's "advice" was bad...


This comment right here sticks out to me. I think deep inside your gut is already telling you what the right moves are to make. Trust your own judgement and gut when you spend time with this guy.

Remember, everything in moderation. Test the waters with flirting but don't overdo it... Have a sense of humor but don't make it a point to fake laugh hysterically... don't complain about hiking even if you're out of breath, rather use those opportunities to whip out a compliment if the conversation allows. For example, like if he starts joking w/ you about your hiking endurance, say something positive like "yeah but you're a fun guy, so the pain doesn't matter much."

You know, just be cool around this dude and don't overdo it or become overbearing. This is how you test the waters to see if he responds to your subtleties...


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

applelemon said:


> I feel much better. It's very hard without that confidence... I guess I know what unwed to trust
> I will contact him tomorrow, hope he's up for hike again.


I'm all for the indirect approach and taking it slow, but...

Guys are direct and can be dense regarding non-verbal communication. He might not see these continual hikes as your way of spending time with him on his level.

I think he either might be afraid of striking out or (more likely) he's just not getting it. Coming back down the trail for you is a good sign. Pushing you up the trail so you don't fall or lag - not so much. 

Some advice from a guy who once was really shy and realizes (in retrospect) he missed some clear signs over the years:

* If you like the hike thing, YOU pick the trail next time; or make it outdoorsy but a change of environment. Make it something more your pace. Maybe a spot where you can linger for a few minutes and gauge his interest in just you.
* Better yet, how about something that is unmistakably fun and not remotely vigorous, educational, or functional. Dinner and a movie, an amusement park (if that's your thing), a live performance of some kind are all good possibilities.
* While on said outing, take a chance and simply hold his hand. That is a non-threatening yet nearly unmistakable sign of intent, even to a former dunce like me.

Congrats for getting this aspect of your life back in effect so quickly. I can imagine it might be hard to make yourself vulnerable at this point, but it seems like you're up to the challenge. Good luck!


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## applelemon (Jan 17, 2012)

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