# confused and feeling guilty



## mlc42 (May 29, 2014)

I've been married for 20 years and have 2 children ages 12 and 16 and the children are the center of my universe. After our first year of marriage I wanted out but stayed because I thought is was just cold feet. We then went on to do the expected things like children, house, etc.. and things were good. She was a stay at home mom for most 12 of these 20 years and has recently gone back to work part time. For the past 5 years I've progressively fallen out of love with her and don't feel any connection at all. I travel frequently and meet lots of interesting people and realize that there is a larger world out there. I'm at the point where I'm done with the relationship, but I have so much guilt because I feel responsible for her well being and I'm very concerned about the impact on my children. She is on medication for anger issues and her mom was bi-polar so I'm concerned that my approaching her with the news that I'm ready to move on will be devastating and will cause her to go into a really bad place. I don't know that she will be able to handle being alone. I fully plan on staying in my children's life and I fully intend on supporting them financially. I don't know if I should speak with a counselor or attorney. I have no confidants, so I can't even discuss things with anyone. Any advice would be appreciated.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

mlc42 said:


> I've been married for 20 years and have 2 children ages 12 and 16 and the children are the center of my universe.


Yeah. Sure they are.


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## mlc42 (May 29, 2014)

Machiavelli said:


> Yeah. Sure they are.


I believe I was asking for advice and not judgement. How can you judge me without even knowing anything about me? No need to respond Machiavelli unless its constructive and helpful.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Do you have a "special friend" in your life of the opposite sex that understands all your problems?


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## mlc42 (May 29, 2014)

karole said:


> Do you have a "special friend" in your life of the opposite sex that understands all your problems?


No, I don't. I'm hesitant to talk about this with my mom or sister as well, I don't know that it would be helpful as we aren't very close.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

When was the last time that you and your wife did thing together on a regular basis, just the two of you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

mlc42 said:


> No, I don't. I'm hesitant to talk about this with my mom or sister as well, I don't know that it would be helpful as we aren't very close.


You are not close to your wife, your mother or your sister. Do you have anyone in your life who you are close to? If so g tell us about those relationships. How much time do you spend with them?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mlc42 (May 29, 2014)

I'm not close with anyone to be honest. I have many superficial relationships (neighbors, co-workers, other dads) but none that I would think of confiding in.


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## Counterfit (Feb 2, 2014)

mlc42 said:


> I fully plan on staying in my children's life and I fully intend on supporting them financially.........


After the Family Court System is done with you I can assure you that you WILL be financially supporting them .......and much much much more.

With a part-time working, stay at home wife, who has medical and mental issues and mutiple dependent children........well let's just say your days of having "disposable income" are going to be numbered......
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

By interesting people do you mean you have fallen for someone else?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mlc42 (May 29, 2014)

mablenc said:


> By interesting people do you mean you have fallen for someone else?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not entirely. I've had a few EA's over the years and each time it makes me circle back through my feelings only to decide to "stay for the kids". Each time I end it and go back to status quo. If I sound like a jerk, sorry but it's how I feel. 

FWIW, I tried to break it off before we were married and she refused, I also tried again after we were married but before children and we decided to make a go of it. I regret not being stronger earlier, now it's just more painful.


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