# Spouse won't stop talking about work, nice way to tell them to stop?



## Cinnamon153 (Jun 18, 2015)

Hi Everyone, 

OK, so, my husband recently got a promotion at work and he is now in a senior manager position. I'm really excited for him, this is the 3rd time he's been offered a senior position and he's finally accepted it! 

But, I find the in the last month that he's been in the new position, work is all that he ever talks about. He can come home and give me a minute by minute play by play of his day. It's gotten to the point that I'm so inundated with information about his day and the people he works with that I've stopped listening to him. 

For example, last night I was trying to study (I take night classes so that I can finish my degree) and he was working on his laptop and he snickers about something that he read and I've learned that unless I want a 30 minute explanation about what he's laughing about to just not ask. Since I didn't ask, he proceeded to go into a 30 minute explanation of what happened, none of which is not interesting to me in the slightest (which I suppose is besides the point). It really frustrated me because it's painfully obvious that I'm busy, I'm surrounded by calculators and textbooks, I mean, how could you not notice. It's just so rude, like he matters more than anything else happening. 

But, I guess the thing that bothers me the most about him talking about his day so much is that he outright ignores me when I talk about my day (which is so rare, maybe 1 or 2 times a year do I talk about my day). The other day, I was just sharing a cute little story and in the middle of it he just got up and walked away. I immediately called him on it and asking him if he wanted to hear the rest of it and he just said no, it's not important and walked away. I mean, I've accepted that he just doesn't give a s*** about my day, but the first story I've told him in 6 months and you'd think that he could just listen to it. 

The one other thing that really bothers me is that this position is really changing him and I don't think it's for the better. He's become increasingly arrogant. He refers to the employees as 'rank and file' staff, he talks about how he put 'so and so' in their place and he's started talking to me like I'm one of the guys (which I don't appreciate at all, most of it is disgusting). He's turning into a really snotty person who looks down at everyone and seems to think he's better and I don't like it one bit. Those characteristics do not belong to someone that I want to be with. 

He's so sensitive that I don't even know how to approach any of this without him getting all upset and thinking that I just don't care about him. It's not that at all. When I get home, I want to be at home. I don't want to have to go through an entire workday all over again (especially because most of it means nothing to me). He doesn't have to suffer through me reliving my work day over again, why should I? Does anyone have suggestions about how to approach this without causing a larger than necessary problem? 
Also, to the men out there, has anyone seen situations similar to this? Maybe someone could give me insight into what's going on in his mind? 

Thanks,


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Cinnamon153 said:


> But, I guess the thing that bothers me the most about him talking about his day so much is that he outright ignores me when I talk about my day (which is so rare, maybe 1 or 2 times a year do I talk about my day). The other day, I was just sharing a cute little story and in the middle of it he just got up and walked away. I immediately called him on it and asking him if he wanted to hear the rest of it and he just said no, it's not important and walked away. I mean, I've accepted that he just doesn't give a s*** about my day, but the first story I've told him in 6 months and you'd think that he could just listen to it.


Do this to him next time. Seriously.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

I know that it can be annoying after a while but his play-by-play 30-min daily recap is your husband's way of sharing his excitement about his new job. This promotion probably means a lot to him. It's the feather in his cap, if you will. In a way, he's pea****ing and trying to gain your admiration. I'd let him know that although you are very proud of his accomplishment, you are human and do have your limits to how much information you can absorb. Sensitivity aside, be honest with him about your need to share your daily life with him and about how unattractive you find his over-inflated ego. 

Stress to your husband that you're happy to share in his excitement but remind him of what's really important in life....his family and his good character.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

You don't want him to stop talking all together, just less. So, ask questions, direct the conversation and inform him, so glad to hear about your day, sweet cakes, but I need to study. Put your ear buds in. 

I think he is trying to impress you. He is excited about his promotion.

Next time he walks away from you, point our that you sat thru 30 mins of his story, he can listen to five minutes of yours. And if he continues to do, then do what Fozzy said. Walk away mid conversation. Tit for tat. >


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