# My stepdaughters mom is living with sex offender!



## momma03 (Sep 1, 2012)

My husband has a daughter who is 10 and her mother has been living with a registered sex offender. He found out in May and has not been comfortable with it so he doesn't let her go to the moms house. They don't have any court ordered parenting plan but he's wondering if he should go for full custody. I say yes because we have looked up his record and she just says she trusts him and we need to learn to forgive. We might have been able to do that if he wasn't a drug user and abusive to her. She also has a 6 month old boy who is around the boyfriend all the time and is not his child. It breaks his heart that his daughter can't see her mother but he doesn't feel comfortable with him around and she has told the daughter to lie before when he did let her go over because the mom said the boyfriend would be gone. I say the mom doesn't care because if I found something like that out I would be gone. My husband is worried though because he has chronic depression and is afraid that will be used against him in court. He has raised her pretty much by himself. The mom is only around to give my stepdaughter toys or food. She has issues too that we are trying to get her help for. She yells at him and tells him it's all his fault cause mommy says the boyfriend is good. Any advice? Thanks!


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## Torrivien (Aug 26, 2012)

I agree with your decision to go on a full custody. She can't possibly be serious about forgiving him while he still is addictive to drugs and being abusive to her (is it verbally or physically, not there is much of a difference but physical damage can put your stepdaughet's life in danger).

It's sad but common that the spoiling parent turns the child against the raising parent. She's just a child, in her mind not letting her see her mother go hand in hand with all the stuff that daddy prevented her from doing (not eating candy at late hours or going to bed early). It's not a reason to sit there and take it, though.

For the full custody, I think you should seek legal advice as soon as possible. I'm not familiar with the laws regarding this matter, but I believe that a chronic depression can't possibly seen than being with an abusive drug addict sex offender. 

Good luck.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

You definitely need to go for full custody. You also need an immediate court order that prevents unsupervised visits by your stepdaughter in the mother's home. you need to contact an attorney ASAP.

Do you know what the boyfriend's offense was? "Sex offender" can cover everything from indecent exposure from mooning at Spring break, to, obviously, very serious and dangerous things for your stepdaughter to be anywhere near.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Go for full custody, and even think about calling child services about the young boys safety.

Do you know what the sex offense was? Was it him having sex with an underage girl? Was it rape? Was it against children? This makes a huge difference.


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## Frostrose (Aug 1, 2012)

I swear her mother is irresponsible.You both need full custody of your Stepdaughter.She is putting her daughter and 6 month old son in danger letting them near a sex offender.


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## momma03 (Sep 1, 2012)

He had sex with a 15 year old girl and told her he was 17 when he was really 27. He pleaded guilty and went to prison for 5 years. He got out about 9 years ago on that charge but has stolen a cop car since then too. The mom thinks it's in the past so my husband shouldn't worry. She yells at him and tells him she doesn't like that he won't let her see her daughter and stuff like that. He told her that if she really doesn't think theres a problem with his daughter being around the guy then why not call the police and have them come to our house to get her daughter. She never does cause she knows he's not allowed to be around minors.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

That's messed up.


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## papa5280 (Oct 12, 2011)

Definitely go for full custody and get a court order that prohibits unsupervised visitation at the house. Let her yell. She's doing that because she knows she's putting her daughter in danger, but doesn't want to admit it to herself.



momma03 said:


> why not call the police and have them come to our house to get her daughter. She never does cause she knows he's not allowed to be around minors.


Hello, he's not allowed to be around minors. That tells you everything you need to know.


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## Frostrose (Aug 1, 2012)

That is terrible.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

I too was wondering why he's registered as a sex offender because there's a lot of "grey" in all of that sex offender stuff.

That much being said it doesn't get much worse than what the boyfriend did.. 15 years old.. is only a few years older than the daughter.

Plus he stole a cop car.. that's a sign of some real mental instability right there. Odds are he's guilty of a bunch of other crimes that he hasn't been charged with.


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

He is not allowed around minors. No more to be said.

Call the police. Get a lawyer. Your daughter, in eight years, can make the legal decision if she wants to be around a sex offender that has been barred from being around minors.

Until then...it is your call. If something were to happen to your daughter there would be a line of us waiting to shoot you in the head for not keeping her away from him.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

If he is a registered sex offended is he supposed to be around children period? 

Gain full custody and protect your child!


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## momma03 (Sep 1, 2012)

Well she is my step daughter so I don't have say but I want full custody and so does my husband but again he has major depression to where he is on disability for it so ofcourse he's afraid. I guess I was looking for what people thought of that as opposed to living with a sex offender, which a judge would think was worse. I has joint custody of my 2 kids with their dad and he even said he would testify to him being a good dad and that he feels safe with his kids being around him. That I think would speak volumes to a judge but my husband is still scared. I'm gonna push him for full custody cause even though he doesn't let her be around the child maybe getting full custody and the thought of getting her other child taken away will help her get her head out of her ass!


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## momma03 (Sep 1, 2012)

Update- Got a call from the mom a couple nights ago saying she left him. Not sure if this is gonna stay true but the reason is because he's in jail for driving on suspended license, failure to appear on a drug charge and had crystal meth on him and he's cheating on her. I hope to god she has now realized that this is not a good person. Thanks for all the advice.


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