# Should I just end the marriage?



## thinkimdone (Nov 3, 2016)

I don't hate my wife. There was a time I did. We hated each other at varying points in our first 2 years. There was a point when we calmly talked about how we never would have stayed together if we hadn't married less than a month after meeting. 

A brief history: traumatizing first couple years of marriage that included almost going to jail, blame on both sides, and constant questioning about each other's motivations in the relationship

There was a time I didn’t feel safe in my own house. I don’t feel that way now. We are able to go out and enjoy our time together. It has turned into more of an acquaintance-friendly relationship. We still have sex regularly; although, I’ve been losing my zeal for it. I’m not interested in other women. I’ve never cheated on her. 

I don’t feel so trapped like I did in the beginning of our marriage. She had (well, still has) a massive amount of student loans. And, for those first 2 years, we were completely unable to keep money in the house. If we had an extra $1,000, it was going to be spent on sports for the kids, or something for the house. We are doing much better now, so I don’t have to worry so much about being able to move out just because of money. 

We've been married for 3 1/2 years. No children together. She has 3 kids from a previous marriage. 

I’ve given all the details that make me out as the ‘victim’, so far. I was at fault many times as well. I’ll tell you anything you would like to know. 

Should I just end the marriage?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Welcome to the forum. A few questions I have:

It sounds like things are better now, or am I misunderstanding that?

Are you in love with each other?

Since the problems sound post tense, What would be your reason for leaving now?

How old are you both?

What was the reason for marrying so quickly?

Does she want to end the marriage at this point too?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

So you married each other one SCANT month after you met?

What is so incredibly *wrong* with your 'wife' that she has *3 kids* and thought it was perfectly fine to marry a virtual *stranger* and move her kids in with this new 'daddy' a month after meeting him?


> She had (well, still has) a massive amount of student loans.


Now I get it. She needed a benefactor to help support her with all those kids. Got it.

What a slow motion train-wreck this has been.

I guess you're both getting something out of this dysfunctional situation, so only you can decide whether you want to continue with her or not.

A word to the wise.. DON'T get her pregnant. She has more than enough kids to worry about - and quite honestly, she won't be winning the Mother of the Year Award anytime soon.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Yes, as things currently stand. If you do not want a roommate with benefits, then divorce but if you want the benefits without the bond that a healthy, loving marriage requires, then leave. Does she know of your feelings? Communicate if not and be upfront and honest. Then, let her make her own choice as well.

Work on your own issues if you want any other relationship in the future because you will carry that baggage from this current relationship, past issues from childhood if any, and so on, into the next.


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## Married27years (Jun 16, 2016)

I don't understand why you want to end the marriage. It sounds like things are going good these days. Unless something major is happening you should stay married.


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## Rockclimber (Nov 1, 2016)

Sounds like things are getting better? You want to separate or divorce because you are not sexually attracted to her? Eventually everyone loses sexual attraction, I would just open up a few marriage help books and read them, I know that turned me around 180


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

She totally used you dude. 

She has three kids, massive debt, not enough money to put anything aside for savings and any extra money you do have after the bills are paid goes towards sports for her kids?

You're a wallet. She saw you coming and I have no doubt that she was the one pushing for marriage. 

I won't be at all surprised if you she's already asked you to adopt her kids because their biological father doesn't support them. 

The only thing that DOES puzzle me is why you don't resent her for putting you in this position where you're supporting some other guys family because he failed.


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