# Religion becoming an issue



## carmenta (Sep 15, 2010)

First some background. My wife is mormon, not a strict mormon but never the less mormon. I agnostic, enough said on that front. we courted and married within about a year and a half and have been married about a year and a half. Anyways, at a certain point we even broke off our engagement because of the religion and how we would raise our future children, long story short i eventually decided that i wouldnt mind her raising the children mormon. 

Now im having major second thoughts on giving in on that, not because i want my way only but because as my children also i would like a say in that area. i know my wife will not want to give in on this, granted im going to be initiating some major talks with her on this to try to reach some type of aggreement. in the end i have a gut feeling that if we end up having children together that its not going to end well. i love my wife but i just dont agree with her religion and i cant stand the idea of my children being taught it. (not trying to pick on anyone that is mormon but just trying to explain my thoughts)

i really need some input on what i should do. the last thing i want is to end up creating a broken home for children but i just dont know if this is going to work in the long run. is this something that love really just cant work out without one partner submitting to the other?


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## DennisNLA (Jan 26, 2010)

Since you have agreed in principle to raise future kids Mormon, you are breaking your promise if you have children and not abiding by this. I would suggest you do the following:

1. No unprotected sex until you are a peace with raising your kids Mormon.
2. If you can not come to peace with raising your kids mormon then you need to offer a divorce to your wife so she can find a partner to have children within the religion. I am sorry, you made an agreement on religion prior to getting married. I do not see any other options. Please do not bring children to this Earth where you can not agree on a basic principle like religion. Trust me having children will not make these arguments any easier. 

Good luck on your journey.


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## carmenta (Sep 15, 2010)

I spoke with her today about how I feel. Of course I did say that this was my fault for ever having give in on such an important subject. I said how we should come up with some type of compromise but all I really got back was "this is why they say people from different religions Shouldn't marry." After that it just became religious debate that ended with her going to watch tv. I know that i am the bad Guy here. ..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

what would your compromise be? 

It kind of sounds like there is no respect for each other on this topic. why are you debating religion with her? there's no reason to try and prove anyone wrong. I think you will find that if you can cultivate some respect for how she feels, and not argue with her or try and dissuade her, she will be more receptive to you.


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## Quicksand (Sep 20, 2010)

Just make sure to introduce the kids to a lot of religious concepts at a young age. It's impossible to brain wash them without beating a single thing into their mind without ceasing. Making it clear to them that a Hindu or a Buddhist is not evil just because they don't pray to Jesus should be your primary goal.

Even if they end up Mormon, they'll be well rounded and open minded. And that's nothing to worry about. As a matter of fact, bringing your well educated, open minded kids to a stuffy Mormon church each week, might just infect the other kiddies with tolerance and a broader sense of community 

As long as the kids are well educated the odds of them turning out as relginuts is about zero. Just don't intellectually isolate them in the field of religion, and you're fine.

Go ahead and raise them Mormon. Tell them they're Mormon, go to Mormon churches. *Never attack the Mormon faith*. At least not when they're little. They don't need snide stories about Joesph Smith and his mutiple child wives. They don't need, "The Garden of Eden is in Missouri, LOL!". 
Teach them to respect other faiths(and lack of faith). And make sure they're intimately aware of what these beliefs really mean. This will ensure you have children that can truly make up their own minds on the matter, when the time comes.


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## the last straw (Sep 13, 2010)

i know mixed marriages where one is religious one isn't. some are strong. most fall apart.
it can only work if you give each other respect and space to live according to your belief and you do not criticize one another or expect the other to be persuaded or change in any way.
it can only work if you agree in advance how you will bring up the children
if either of these falls short, i believe procrastinating divorce is simply prolonging the agony.


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## pochael (Apr 12, 2010)

Hmm.... Well I have a question. 

First, my understanding of agnostic is - one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god.

What do you believe? What would you want to teach them?


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