# Hanging out with ex?



## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

My wife, my son, and I were recently having a discussion about his desire to hang out over the holidays with an ex-gf. He is married. He and the ex were childhood sweethearts, and continued the relationship thru college and for two years beyond. Her professional goals took her to the west coast. He chose to end the relationship rather than follow her. She is coming home for the holidays. My advice was to avoid meeting with her unless his wife was present and accepting of this meeting. He felt like it was no big deal. I was surprised when my wife agreed w/ him. My reaction was WTF???? I thought it but didn't say it. What do you guys think about this?


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I agree with you, unless his wife is ok and not just going along with the situation because she can't speak up. Why not put "not just friends" book in his stocking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Unless his wife is fully aware of this and is cool with this yes this would be a bad idea. He is a big boy now but I would just ask him if his wife knows and leave it at that.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

What's the worst that could happen?


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Ummmmm.... Your wife thought that would be OK ?? REALLY ? I think your WTF reaction is correct.

Also, I would do what Tom67 said above and let his wife know.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

PHTlump said:


> What's the worst that could happen?


:iagree:

Bottom line is if this is innocent and all, his wife should absolutely be there with them.
How would he feel if his wife was "catching up" with an old boyfriend from school?
Tell your son that.


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## river rat (Jan 20, 2012)

tom67 said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Bottom line is if this is innocent and all, his wife should absolutely be there with them.
> How would he feel if his wife was "catching up" with an old boyfriend from school?
> Tell your son that.


 Herein lies the catch. She has children from a previous relationship and has contact regularly with her ex. He and my wife see this as being the same. I disagree.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Does your wife have a preference for the ex girlfriend with respect to the wife? I would definitely not accept it if I were the wife. I'd feel so insecure because of their history.

I agree with your reaction.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I agree with the OP. I wouldn't be ok with it either.

If there are no kids involved, there's no reason to stay in touch with an ex.


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