# Stay or go,Is she a lier



## zigg10 (Nov 27, 2011)

Backround:
Me and my girlfriend have been together 8 yrs since we were 16,we have one child together who is now 4.I'm 24 she turn 25 2 months ago. She works at a bar I am a line cook down town!!!


Well this all kinda started when we were 20 just before we had our lil girl I made hugh mistake. I had sex with my ex girl friend one nite I'm not gonna make up an excuse it happen. I lied n did not tell her rite away but she had an idea sometime had gone by. She had found out the truth threw convos I had on the computer with her n I still denied it happen. Then I guess a few months after that she cheated on me with my cuzzins boyfriends bestfriend while my cuzzing was (sleeping) in bed with her boyfriend. I didn't find out about that yet so now she gets a new job at a bar and I start notice her drinking is becomeing heavy n she's staying out late at (worrk) she had become very distant from me stop having sex n when we did it was a fight she was alwayss dry it wasn't the same things were changing n I started to notice she used to hang out with a girl from her work on dayss she didn't work she barely spent time with me n our kid. Sso I confornted her on txt msgs saying come home I miss u why did u have to go out drinking she pushed me off I gave n let her have fun that nite n I would talk to her when she got home. When she got home we talked n she told me she wanted to. Know the truth about my ex n I figered I would be honest n tell her the truth. So I told her she cried I hugged her the next morn she told me she just wanted to be with me still but needed sometime to get over it and do her own thing for a while n worry about her n our child. But still loves me n wants me so I said ok take sometime...

She took 2 yrs of being cold n distant from me n didn't wanna have sex it was always a fight if I was down or sad she would roll over n fall asleep on me n the middle of a convo about our relationship seemed she didn't care much n that hurt me. I fell into a depression for 2 months I lost 30 pound cuz I couldn't eat or sleep I lived on soup n crakers n subs....in the mean time of all that she was still working at the same place I didn't like the girl she worked wit n she knew it but would go out with her all the time the girl was cheating on her husban but my girlfriend told me they wasn't together or they were having a brake lol. So one day I was trying to get a hold of her n she didn't pick up for an hour n 15 mins when she did she said she was making out with a diff girl from her work n was trying to broing her home for a threesome n I lost my ****....I drove to her work when I pulled up her n that girl n tha mangaer were standing outside her work when it was closein I threw her into the car n whent home n fought with her n whent to sleep thinking she just was making out with the girl no problem...she get fired from that job sometime later n gets a new job.

One day on halloween at her new job I asked to use her phone to make a phone call cuz mine had died she said ok but turned n whent down stairs fast while I was callin her like where u going pass u phone she came back up 2 min later n said she had to go get something quick I said why didn't u just pass the phone she said cuz I had to go so I made my call n looked in her msgs n there was 12 deleted msgs n thay were bettween her n the girl she worked with that I didn't like not the lezzy one saying to tell the manager to come there she wants his elephant trunk n she kept asking if he was coming n the girl said she was trying to make him come there n she told me she was making fun of the lezzy girl she had made out with cuz she used to **** him they were just making fun of her so I flip made her get off work to leave we left n I asked her to let me msg her friend saying I cought her msging him n how she was busted n if she should tell me the truth she snatched my phone quick called the girl n left her a msg saying how I'm a fool cuz I think she's ****ing her old manager blah blah blah so from there I thought why wouldn't u prove ur self by letting me do my thing by msging her. N from there I knew she might have slept with him she don't addmit to it to this day.

So from there I gave up all hhope on us I was trying so hard to make us work I had gone threw 2 months of deep depression at one point I didn't get outa be for a whole week 7 days she didn't care too much just a lil I didn't tell her it was cuz her cuz I didn't wanna seem weak n let her know she was getting the best of me! So time had gone by we were living a life of almost no sex no love n fighting not a lot of fighting cuz I didn't wanna make her mad but fighting about cheatin n not spending time together her partyin n drinking... I put a keylogger in my computer it saves convos n stuff n I seen this convo of a guy from her new job telling her to come over for dinner n she was tellin him no n she had to get get a new phone cuz I broke her other one he said he knew a guy at the phone store n could get her a deal she said no it ok I'm gonna wake up my bf n going to eat dinner with his family but I felt something was wrong cuz she never talks to guys like that when they are trying to pick her up. So I confornted her she told I'm stalkin her facebook n putting **** on the computer that I'm losing it. Notthing is going on blah blah ....

So after that I found notthing for almost 2 years the last three months we were starting to come around I think. Then he bestfriend came to me n told me she had cheated on me with the guy from her work witch turned out to be the guy I found the convos with the keylogger I was heart broken I ended put having sex with her bestfriend. Then I couldn't handle it I wanted us to get better so I told her the truth n how I know she had sex with him she lied about it for a whole day then told me the truth when I said I was leaving a week gos by after I asked her all wekk if there was anyone she swore on our childs live everything there was no more she told me she only had sex with him once.so I let a day go by n I told her I called him n he told me it was more then once she said ok twice another lie. Then I told her is there any more men she said no...so i let two days go back she begging me to not leave her she don't care I slept with her bestfriend n 2 orthers blah blah n I let her sit n rot for 2 days n then said someone told me there is another n u need to tell me the truth or I'm gone it was someone u know who knows n said something to someone I know cuz everyone knows what's going on with us so she told me about the guy at my cuzz house n some other guy at her work....now here's where it gets messy I found pics in her phone she told me she didn't send em to anyone but I told her I know she did cuz they say sent after she lied for 20 min tellin me she didn't send em she but before I asked her about the pics there was a nite where I randomly asked her to unlock her phone she wouldn't for 2hrs so I ended up getting pissed n braking it then buyin her a new one she told me after she put (everything) on the table she was talkin to a man in one for her group on blackberry messanger flitin with him but notthing sexual just comments on how good lookin she thought her was (bs) I think..then she ended up telling me she sent the pics to the first guy she ****ed from her work (the one she said she ****ed twice) n that they werre just talking about how hurt she was that I cheated n how he ws hurt his wife cheated on him n that's all they talked about after she had sex with him two time n cut it off she said she didn't even finsh the second time ......... What do you guys all think about this crap I'm in !!!! She beggin me to stay n says will do anything for me all that good stuff sorry she was so cold n distant from me wants to make things rite !!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

My mind hurts reading this


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

I thinks it's time you walked away from it all.

Just my tuppence


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## ShootMePlz! (Oct 5, 2008)

Paragraphs would be nice.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

First - spend some time and learn to write in actually sentences with with full words. That was painful to read. This isn't texting.

Wow you both are awful to one another. You have cheated repeatedly, she has cheated. You both lie to one another.

And you're raising a kid and the both are you are teaching the kid that this is way you treat someone you are supposed to love and cherish?

Wow - both of you are deeply hurtful and selfish people, who work in environments filled with scuzzy people who cheat as a matter or routine.

I don't see how this relationship can be saved. You both are so hateful towards one another and each others feelings.

There is no love here - only co-dependence.

Can the little kid go live with grandparent or anyone who could actually teach her how to behave in a loving relationship? Because around the two of, she isn't going to learn it, and when she grows up she'll end up in horrible hurtful relationships like yours.


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## zigg10 (Nov 27, 2011)

I guess this was a waste of time and ya its painfull to read because I am doing this from my phone not a computer. But I wanna try and make it work with her n she does with me!! Just wanted some advice. And by the way our chhild don't know what's going on she iss fine and has everything she needs n asks for!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Since you want to salvage your relationship, your best hope is to find a competent counselor. I honestly don't see how you and your girlfriend could ever restore trust. That's going to require a lot of hard work from both of you.

Good luck.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

zigg10 said:


> I guess this was a waste of time and ya its painfull to read because I am doing this from my phone not a computer. But I wanna try and make it work with her n she does with me!! Just wanted some advice. And by the way our chhild don't know what's going on she iss fine and has everything she needs n asks for!!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Dude, the both of you cheated to get revenge on the other. That's not love, that too children acting out in anger to hurt one another.

And you would be surprised how much a 4 yr old is picking up watching the two of you hurt one another.


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## zigg10 (Nov 27, 2011)

Ok our child aint picking up on notthing we don't fight our even aruge infront of her,she's 4 give me a brake!!! All she knows is we love her and do everything for and with her ur advice is no good and don't help anything so why commment!!!! We are gonna try n re-build and if we can't atleast we are trying. I can say I wouldn't cheat on her again if she could do the same. Witch I feel she can beacuse she was good to me for 5years before this crap. Ye maybe she cheated on me for revange but I didn't do it cuz that I didn't even know she was cheating untill her friend told me. And still I don't feel the need to get any kinda revenge it won't help me feel better or make anything better. Only reason I did before is beacuse I was so alone emotionaly. we just didn't connect for a while but these last few days I feel it can work. Maybe I'm a fool but all I know is she still wants to work it out with me after what I have done n loves me. Its just the thoUghts of her with tho's men that are hurting me and the lies.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

zigg10 said:


> > Well this all kinda started when we were 20 just before we had our lil girl I made hugh mistake. I had sex with my ex girl friend one nite I'm not gonna make up an excuse it happen. I lied n did not tell her rite away but she had an idea sometime had gone by. She had found out the truth threw convos I had on the computer with her n I still denied it happen.
> 
> 
> 1. You had an affair with your Ex GF
> ...


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Stop cheating on each other or live in an open relationship.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

zigg10 said:


> Ok our child aint picking up on notthing we don't fight our even aruge infront of her,she's 4 give me a brake!!! All she knows is we love her and do everything for and with her ur advice is no good and don't help anything so why commment!!!! We are gonna try n re-build and if we can't atleast we are trying. I can say I wouldn't cheat on her again if she could do the same. Witch I feel she can beacuse she was good to me for 5years before this crap. Ye maybe she cheated on me for revange but I didn't do it cuz that I didn't even know she was cheating untill her friend told me. And still I don't feel the need to get any kinda revenge it won't help me feel better or make anything better. Only reason I did before is beacuse I was so alone emotionaly. we just didn't connect for a while but these last few days I feel it can work. Maybe I'm a fool but all I know is she still wants to work it out with me after what I have done n loves me. Its just the thoUghts of her with tho's men that are hurting me and the lies.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The first step is to stop being denial and very defensive. 

Think about the people around in your lives: 

She has a best friend who would sleep with her best friends husband. (and you did sleep with her)

The best friend apparently doesn't have a problem still hanging with her, even after sleeping with her husband.

Your wife is still friends with a woman who slept with her husband.

She has a boss who she would sleep with and she did. and she still works there. 

And you think the problem is just that she needs to agree to stop cheating, and if she does so will you?

Sorry, but you're living amongst and like people who have 0 respect for marriage, monogamy, or morals. They sleep around like it's shaking hands. They enable others to cheat, and willingly engage in it, and then continue to hang out together.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

I feel like someone hit me in the brain with a baseball bat.


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## zigg10 (Nov 27, 2011)

We both want to make it work we both love each other, she just says she was in a dark lonely place. But I was always willin to be there she just didn't let me in she says cuz she was hurt. What if I had not cheated the second times. I feel there's more to the manager story n maybe other men I'm trying to look past it. But its hard all I know is I deep down inside love her n wouldn't give anytrhing in the world up for her. N wanna make it work n she tells me the same n we have been closer then ever since it all came out. But how long could it last or is it all just an act.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

So, when is one of you gonna grow up and not have revenge sex anymore?


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## zigg10 (Nov 27, 2011)

cheatinghubby said:


> So, when is one of you gonna grow up and not have revenge sex anymore?


I am I don't want to have sex with anyone but her I don't wanna ruin anything else or risk losing her I can't deal with the guilt of doing that anymore I'm so in love and down with her !!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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