# You’re ugly when…



## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

You win $1000 at a bar and someone you offer a drink to won’t take it. I’m definitely ugly. That sucks• thought I wa passable• evidently not😶


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

snowbum said:


> You win $1000 at a bar and someone you offer a drink to won’t take it. I’m definitely ugly. That sucks• thought I wa passable• evidently not😶


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Aren’t you married? You’re buying dudes drinks? Then they don’t take it? Lol. Oh brother


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm confused.....

You can buy me a drink though!😁


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Would you buy me a drink that I like or one that you want to give me? If it were a Macallan 18 yo malt then hell yes, I might even consider us friends.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

By the way I woud take the drink even if I think you are ugly.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Girls are always better looking near closing time. You just gotta wait it out 👍


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

There are no physically, ugly people.

There are only ugly thinkers.


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## CrapMan (7 mo ago)

I resemble that remark.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

SunCMars said:


> There are no physically, ugly people.
> 
> There are only ugly thinkers.


Thanks Helen Keller.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

You know it’s bad if Ray Charles refuses the drink.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

SunCMars said:


> There are no physically, ugly people.
> 
> There are only ugly thinkers.


You definitely do not shop at Walmart.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I never turn down a free drink, from anybody...


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## bygone (11 mo ago)

someone must have joked with you

keep smiling


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

SunCMars said:


> There are no physically, ugly people.
> 
> There are only ugly thinkers.


You have obviously never met me!


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Bought drink to be polite. That’s what etiquette is. Not to hit on anyone.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

snowbum said:


> You win $1000 at a bar and someone you offer a drink to won’t take it. I’m definitely ugly. That sucks• thought I wa passable• evidently not😶


Maybe this person is in a committed relationship and will not accept drinks from opposite sex strangers? 

I view accepting drinks from strangers as an invitation. I don't do it when in a committed relationship. It's disrespectful to my partner.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> Aren’t you married? You’re buying dudes drinks? Then they don’t take it? Lol. Oh brother


It was the guy at the machine next to me. My husband was there. It’s the polite thing to do when you win. Not an iota of flirtation. Just a “hey, we wine, can I get you a drink?” That’s it. I was more shocked guy said no and was pissy about it


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

snowbum said:


> It was the guy at the machine next to me. My husband was there. It’s the polite thing to do when you win. Not an iota of flirtation. Just a “hey, we wine, can I get you a drink?” That’s it. I was more shocked guy said no and was pissy about it





Lila said:


> Maybe this person is in a committed relationship and will not accept drinks from opposite sex strangers?
> 
> I view accepting drinks from strangers as an invitation. I don't do it when in a committed relationship. It's disrespectful to my partner.


I was clearly not hitting on him. It was courtesy. I’d offer a woman if there happened to be one. I wasn’t striking up a conversation. I guess people haven’t heard the tradition that you ask the people playing near you. This was a local place. There was never going to be any suggestive comments. Similar to if a team scored you are offered a shot. And fwiw, I might go to a bar 3-4 times a year to play a cheap slot. Not a common event at all. We went to meet friends. So it was completely clear I wasn’t trolling for men


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Maybe the guy was just pissed off that you won and he didn't ?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

snowbum said:


> I was clearly not hitting on him. It was courtesy. I’d offer a woman if there happened to be one. I wasn’t striking up a conversation. I guess people haven’t heard the tradition that you ask the people playing near you. This was a local place. There was never going to be any suggestive comments. Similar to if a team scored you are offered a shot. And fwiw, I might go to a bar 3-4 times a year to play a cheap slot. Not a common event at all. We went to meet friends. So it was completely clear I wasn’t trolling for men


I understand the tradition. Don't take it personally. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person you're offering the drink to. They could have been having a bad day, or maybe they were jealous you won, or like me, will not accept drinks from opposite sex strangers.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

There are only three possible reasons not to accept a drink from a woman:
1) he’s not physically attracted to you and doesn’t want to be obligated to talk to you
2) he’s in a relationship and he’s got good boundaries
3) he’s in recovery (although he’d probably say you can buy me a coke)


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Some men are just nasty.

Especially to women. 🙄


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I think he was just pissed because you won and he didn’t. 
More importantly though, why is this bothering you?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If I had won that much money I would be so pleased that I wouldn't care about someone refusing a drink. 😊


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

I would have taken the free drink considering the you just won and were pumped. Heck, I’ve had guys buy everyone a drink back in the day and I took it. 

Maybe he thought you were coming on to him and he was nervous. Beauty does that to a guy.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Maybe he’s pissed you aren’t a dude offering him a blo….. uummm…. drink.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Mr.Married said:


> Maybe he’s pissed you aren’t a dude offering him a blo….. uummm…. drink.


Were you going to say Bloody Mary?😜


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## Longtime Hubby (7 mo ago)

Free drink is never turned down. He may have been losing $ and was upset you won?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> Were you going to say Bloody Mary?😜


I misspelled COCKtail.


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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

Deleted


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

He passed up a free drink, his loss. He’s just a crabby person for whatever reason. Why are you tearing yourself down over this?


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Maybe he just felt awkward with your husband there, accepting a drink from you. Hard to say really, but congrats on winning $1000!! 👏


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Maybe the guy is in recovery or something. I turn down the free cocktails when gambling fairly regularly because of too much drinking earlier in the day or the day before.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Did you hop on his machine when he got up to use the bathroom?

My guess is he thought you were hitting on him whether that was your intention or not and he didn't know the winner 'code'.
Like others have said he may be a recovering alcoholic.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Jimi007 said:


> Maybe the guy was just pissed off that you won and he didn't ?


probably true


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Andy1001 said:


> I think he was just pissed because you won and he didn’t.
> More importantly though, why is this bothering you?


It bothers me because it was clearly just a good will gesture and his reaction was very rude. Frankly embarrassing.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

I won't share my winnings with a stranger. Why do you get offended by a stranger saying no to you?

I don't get it.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Couldn’t just say” that’s nice, no thanks”.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

pastasauce79 said:


> I won't share my winnings with a stranger. Why do you get offended by a stranger saying no to you?
> 
> I don't get it.


It’s not odd if there are like two people in the area you’re in. It was a mom and pop place. Last summer a guy won and offered us a drink. I’ve gone twice, this isn’t habitual


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

snowbum said:


> It was the guy at the machine next to me. My husband was there. It’s the polite thing to do when you win. Not an iota of flirtation. Just a “hey, we wine, can I get you a drink?” That’s it. I was more shocked guy said no and was pissy about it


He may have been a chronic gambler and they are notoriously grouchy, especially when someone else is winning.

I worked in a casino and saw extremely grouchy and selfish behavior from a bunch of addicts, gambling addicts that is.

Don't take it personally.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> He may have been a chronic gambler and they are notoriously grouchy, especially when someone else is winning.
> 
> I worked in a casino and saw extremely grouchy and selfish behavior from a bunch of addicts, gambling addicts that is.
> 
> Don't take it personally.probably true


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

snowbum said:


> It’s not odd if there are like two people in the area you’re in. It was a mom and pop place. Last summer a guy won and offered us a drink. I’ve gone twice, this isn’t habitual


The first time I met my husband he bought me a beer without asking me first. I declined it. I thought it was pretty rude to assume I was going to accept the beer. 

Maybe it's just me, but I hate when people assume I'm ok with their offerings.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

To be clear I didn’t buy something and bring it to him. When he was at the bar I offered to pay since it bought a drink for friends. It was “ can we. Buy your. He already had the beer I just offered to pay it. So he was drinking a beer.
I’m not a frequent gambler so it was simply being nice. No chatting or carrying on etc.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Hmm… some guy at a restaurant in Aria paid our check randomly. I asked the waitress for the bill and she says “someone already paid it”. Ok thanks bro!


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

snowbum said:


> It was the guy at the machine next to me. My husband was there. It’s the polite thing to do when you win. Not an iota of flirtation. Just a “hey, we wine, can I get you a drink?” That’s it. I was more shocked guy said no and was pissy about it


It doesn’t mean you’re ugly, just that he’s an asshole.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

I won $5000 once on a single hand of video poker. I had no idea you were supposed to buy drinks to those around you. I was just worried about getting out of there as soon as possible with my cash.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

... as a kid, playing in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

snowbum said:


> To be clear I didn’t buy something and bring it to him. When he was at the bar I offered to pay since it bought a drink for friends. It was “ can we. Buy your. He already had the beer I just offered to pay it. So he was drinking a beer.
> I’m not a frequent gambler so it was simply being nice. No chatting or carrying on etc.


People can be crude, rude, mean, and complete jerks.

Don’t let someone else be in charge of your happiness. Who cares why he said no. His loss, you should 🤷‍♂️ and move on.

Congrats on the win!


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

QuietRiot said:


> It doesn’t mean you’re ugly, just that he’s an asshole.


No, it doesn't mean the guy is an asshole.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

People rarely act the way we would in situations.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Livvie said:


> No, it doesn't mean the guy is an asshole.


To be rude to a person who simply offers a drink? Yeah that’s an ass. “No thank you.” Is a great response. 🙂


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

SunCMars said:


> There are no physically, ugly people.


There are some physically ugly people out there, like that bankrupt crypto founders girlfriend.










But in this case it's probably just not knowing what appropriate behavior is. If I was out trying to have a good time and some woman tried to buy me a drink with some guy who seemed like her husband right there next to her I'd run away as fast as I could too, regardless of how attractive. I wouldn't want to waste a minute of my time trying to figure out what dynamic was going on there or getting myself involved in that.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

QuietRiot said:


> To be rude to a person who simply offers a drink? Yeah that’s an ass. “No thank you.” Is a great response. 🙂


Still disagree...so what if a stranger was grumbly. No one knows his story. He didn't ask to be approached.

Not an asshole.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Livvie said:


> Still disagree...so what if a stranger was grumbly. No one knows his story. He didn't ask to be approached.
> 
> Not an asshole.


I have no issues with disagreeing on what an asshole is. No problem here.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Still disagree...so what if a stranger was grumbly. No one knows his story. He didn't ask to be approached.
> 
> Not an asshole.


He would be an ass.
I don't care what his day was like or if his dog just died or whatever.

Basic human courtesy, even between strangers, is a life requirement or else you're an ass.

Sorry to all you TAMers I just called an ass. Get over it.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> He would be an ass.
> I don't care what his day was like or if his dog just died or whatever.
> 
> Basic human courtesy, even between strangers, is a life requirement or else you're an ass.
> ...


Nah.

No one has to accept a drink from an opposite sex stranger, and so what if he was gruff? Those are the consequences of approaching someone you don't know. 

No one knows his story. And yeah it's fine to be a little gruff when you are approached by a random stranger. 

Think of all the ****ty ways people take out bad moods on people they love and it's "acceptable". 

Give a stanger you bug, unsolicited, a little leeway.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Nah.
> 
> No one has to accept a drink from an opposite sex stranger, and so what if he was gruff? Those are the consequences of approaching someone you don't know.
> 
> ...


I'm not talking about taking the drink. I'm talking about "No, thank you" instead of a low guttural growl. (or being 'pissy' as OP said). It's ok to be gruff, or pissy, or anything else. It just means you're an ass. I've been an ass plenty when I'm in a bad mood or it's Thursday or whatever.

Between people that know each other, revealing 'behind the wall' can be permissible. Just avoid the judge.

<apologies if someone doesn't get the pink floyd reference. substitute 'being yourself is ok'>


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Maybe he thought he was being propositioned for a hot wife or cuckold scenario.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

gaius said:


> There are some physically ugly people out there, like that bankrupt crypto founders girlfriend.
> 
> View attachment 93276
> 
> ...


Other than her glasses this girl looks to be slim and attractive. 
A bit of help from a beautician would do wonders for her. 
I’m more than surprised at you though.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

snowbum said:


> It bothers me because it was clearly just a good will gesture and his reaction was very rude.





snowbum said:


> Couldn’t just say” that’s nice, no thanks”.


Expectations. They'll bite us in the ass every time.

Granted, we expect people to be relatively polite and civil, but that isn't reality. There are nasty, rude, ignorant people walking amongst us. Me? I probably would have started laughing at the jerk. Then I would have said a prayer for whoever has to live with him.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

snowbum said:


> It was the guy at the machine next to me. My husband was there. It’s the polite thing to do when you win. Not an iota of flirtation. Just a “hey, we wine, can I get you a drink?” That’s it. I was more shocked guy said no and was pissy about it


Is it possible he doesn't drink alcohol?

Edited by me- I see you said he already had a drink. Maybe he'd already paid for his drink and didn't want another one. I go to casinos and I had no idea you were supposed to buy drinks if you won and I don't drink so it would never occur to me.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

This wasn’t a casino. It was a hometown bar with 4 machines


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

And I didn’t get him another drink I just offered to pay for the one he was buying but hadn’t yet paid for. Learned my lesson


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

snowbum said:


> Couldn’t just say” that’s nice, no thanks”.


What did he actually say? You just said he refused the drink in your OP.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

He said he wouldn’t accept it. Later he passed our table( we were with friends) and told my husband I was nuts. Nuts for offering a celebratory drink( which people typically do there) and I wasn’t excited enough when I won. Etc). He deliberately came over 20 minutes later to say rude stuff.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

snowbum said:


> And I didn’t get him another drink I just offered to pay for the one he was buying but hadn’t yet paid for. Learned my lesson


I would just assume that he's virtuous.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Andy1001 said:


> Other than her glasses this girl looks to be slim and attractive.
> A bit of help from a beautician would do wonders for her.
> I’m more than surprised at you though.


Not used to people being honest that some aren't physically attractive?

She's not attractive in the least and a team of a dozen beauticians couldn't change that. But the fact her boyfriend flushed his whole company down the toilet to let her company borrow a few billion dollars goes to show attractiveness doesn't have much to do with stuff like this.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Prodigal said:


> Expectations. They'll bite us in the ass every time.
> 
> Granted, we expect people to be relatively polite and civil, but that isn't reality. There are nasty, rude, ignorant people walking amongst us. Me? I probably would have started laughing at the jerk. Then I would have said a prayer for whoever has to live with him.


I know, honesty, how rude. This guy should just strive to live his life at the whim of other people. What's the matter with him having boundaries and stuff.

When snowbum says it's normal for people to buy celebratory drinks, I would guess it's mostly guys who do that. It's hard to imagine there's frequently women running around buying men drinks. And she might have been under the impression that men and women are no different, and she'd get the same reaction as a woman doing it and she didn't. Especially with her husband sitting right next to her playing second fiddle. (I'm assuming?)

But she might have known that before if anyone had been so rudely honest with her, and not ended up in this situation to begin, with her feelings hurt and insecurities peaked. But I guess it's hard to avoid that nowadays, with so many people chosing to be so civilized and only barf out whatever they think the other person wants to hear.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

My husband did not care. Seriously. I misread the situation and etiquette. My husband is not 2 nd diddle and I had no designs on anyone other than try to be nice. As I said I learned my lesson. Suspecting anything nefarious is bs.


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

snowbum said:


> My husband did not care. Seriously. I misread the situation and etiquette. My husband is not 2 nd diddle and I had no designs on anyone other than try to be nice. As I said I learned my lesson. Suspecting anything nefarious is bs.


There's no lesson to be learned other than one in every 100, 1000, whatever number of people at a bar will have a mental health issue or be a belligerent drunk. Don't change your generous nature to adjust, there's nothing here to adjust to.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

You've wasted way more mental energy on this guy than he's worth. In his head he had a reason, could be as simple as he hates women (or everybody).
Like Quad73 said don't let it sour you on people in general, just remember this one guy is a prlck. Don't waste another second worrying about him. If it helps the next time you buy a beer for yourself when you take the first sip say to yourself 
"Ha, beaaach, I'm drinkin' your drink asshole."


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

snowbum said:


> It was the guy at the machine next to me. My husband was there. It’s the polite thing to do when you win. Not an iota of flirtation. Just a “hey, we wine, can I get you a drink?” That’s it. I was more shocked guy said no and was pissy about it


So you do something nice by offering someone a free drink. He turns it down. Ok no big deal even if he gets "pissy".

Why you would then take what he had to say to mean "you're ugly" or refusing the drink??? I mean what the F??

How does someone refusing a drink mean that you're "ugly"??

Also why in the world do you give a [email protected] what he or anybody else thinks?? 

This is not about this guy. This is about you and your self-esteem and self-worth which obviously is lacking.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I would just assume that he's virtuous.


Could be, but virtuous should ALSO mean not being a **** about it....


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

snowbum said:


> He said he wouldn’t accept it. Later he passed our table( we were with friends) and told my husband I was nuts. Nuts for offering a celebratory drink( which people typically do there) and I wasn’t excited enough when I won. Etc). He deliberately came over 20 minutes later to say rude stuff.


Then it shows there is something wrong with this person. He might have some mental health issues. That doesn't mean you're ugly. Did he say anything about your physical appearance?


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

I`ve been out with ugly girls and found the more I drink the more attractive they become.
Guess that works for women as well.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I think you need to post a picture of yourself, OP. How can we otherwise tell if it's because you are ugly?


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

CallingDrLove said:


> I won $5000 once on a single hand of video poker. I had no idea you were supposed to buy drinks to those around you. I was just worried about getting out of there as soon as possible with my cash.


I can totally understand that. My wife won a substantial amount of money at the local casino on slots. As we walked around I started to see the same guy over and over. He was following us. I verified this by the two of us going in different directions. He definitely followed her. When we were ready to leave , I asked the security officer to walk us to our car which they did.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

snowbum said:


> You win $1000 at a bar and someone you offer a drink to won’t take it. I’m definitely ugly. That sucks• thought I wa passable• evidently not😶


Need picture for evaluation.

Maybe he is married or has a girlfriend?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Does YOUR HUSBAND know how much it matters to you and that you are bothered that you think a random guy might think you are ugly and that's why he refused a drink from you?

That's an issue.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

moon7 said:


> Need picture for evaluation.
> 
> Maybe he is married or has a girlfriend?


The OP is married!!! 

That's why this thread is all kinds of wrong.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

gaius said:


> There are some physically ugly people out there, like that bankrupt crypto founders girlfriend.
> 
> View attachment 93276
> 
> ...


Obviously it takes more than a billion to fix some chicks up …and dem teefs !!!!! Ouch !!!!!

Even “homely” would be kind.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

Livvie said:


> The OP is married!!!
> 
> That's why this thread is all kinds of wrong.


🧐


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Livvie said:


> Does YOUR HUSBAND know how much it matters to you and that you are bothered that you think a random guy might think you are ugly and that's why he refused a drink from you?
> 
> That's an issue.












SB Do you need outside validation often? Is that what this thread is really about?


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

No I don’t need outside validation. I simply didn’t expect to have someone be downright mean. I get no thanks or I’m good. It was the nastiness. 

And this isn’t me hitting on men, habit of bad behavior, I’d like to let it die now. I don’t cheat and wouldn’t cheat.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

snowbum said:


> Bought drink to be polite. That’s what etiquette is. Not to hit on anyone.


Thats what they all say. Definitely keep quiet with this info. Try putting a VAR in your car and monitor your phone when you're not around it, Get copies of all your phone records. Consider hiring a PI to follow you. Good luck.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

snowbum said:


> It was the guy at the machine next to me. My husband was there. It’s the polite thing to do when you win. Not an iota of flirtation. Just a “hey, we wine, can I get you a drink?” That’s it. I was more shocked guy said no and was pissy about it


He was probably jealous that you won. Don't let the misery of others bring you down.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Thats what they all say. Definitely keep quiet with this info. Try putting a VAR in your car and monitor your phone when you're not around it, Get copies of all your phone records. Consider hiring a PI to follow you. Good luck.


What are you talking about? I bought a drink on the suggestion on my husband who was with me to be nice. You e never heard of buying a round? Zero interest at all. And I’ve never done this before.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

snowbum said:


> What are you talking about? I bought a drink on the suggestion on my husband who was with me to be nice. You e never heard of buying a round? Zero interest at all. And I’ve never done this before.


Sarcasm, I'm telling you to spy on yourself. During my bachelor party I learned when you get a hole in one you have to buy a round for the entire clubhouse bar. Not one of those guys gave me a phone number or anything and I was wearing my best skinny golf pants and slim fit golf shirt. Since then I refuse to get a whole in one, now I aim for the bunkers on the side of the greens on every par 3 and short par 4.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

snowbum said:


> No I don’t need outside validation. I simply didn’t expect to have someone be downright mean. I get no thanks or I’m good. It was the nastiness.
> 
> And this isn’t me hitting on men, habit of bad behavior, I’d like to let it die now. I don’t cheat and wouldn’t cheat.


Go back and read your first post. You said you thought he passed the drink offer because you are ugly, then you added that you thought you were at least passable. You were upset that he perhaps thought you were ugly and so refused the drink. 

But, you are married to someone else.


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## sleeping_sandman (2 mo ago)

snowbum said:


> You win $1000 at a bar and someone you offer a drink to won’t take it. I’m definitely ugly. That sucks• thought I wa passable• evidently not😶


[
First a question: did you, by Chance, win the 1000 bucks over the Guy you offered the said Drink? Just thinking?
Secondly: your husband. He is married to you. Did you percieve your man to have such bad judgment? See? So there is that.
This, by the way, comes from a crossed-eyed Guy entering his 34year in a relationship in which the sentence was dropped: oh, get a rooms you two! by my lovely then 17year old daughter on their parents just year ago. No shame in Kids today 🤪
So No, you are not ugly. No human is ugly.


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

When he stopped by your table and said nasty stuff....why didn't your husband get up and defend you..? 
I think that's the bigger issue


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Go back and read your first post. You said you thought he passed the drink offer because you are ugly, then you added that you thought you were at least passable. You were upset that he perhaps thought you were ugly and so refused the drink.
> 
> But, you are married to someone else.


Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. This started off with being pissed that she is so ugly a guy won't even accept a free drink from her to just being pissed about him being rude. Two completely different situations. There seems to be a lot of concern about a man, other than the husband, and the fact that he wasn't interested in some way. 

@snowbum What exactly did he say when he refused your offer? Was anything else said between you two prior to him coming over and telling your husband you are crazy? The way you describe it the guy sound a bit unbalanced. A simple offer to buy a drink wouldn't make a normal person make that kind of comment.


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

You should know that looks are only a component for some women. You periodically see models with plain guys. The men may be successful in business or have other qualities that make them attractive. I would say work on being a good listener, and being attuned to social cues.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Bobby5000 said:


> You should know that looks are only a component for some women. You periodically see models with plain guys. The men may be successful in business or have other qualities that make them attractive. I would say work on being a good listener, and being attuned to social cues.


I'm lost. What does this have to do with this thread and OP?

She's married...

Are you giving her advice about how to be more attractive to men, not her husband?


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Livvie said:


> I'm lost. What does this have to do with this thread and OP?
> 
> She's married...
> 
> Are you giving her advice about how to be more attractive to men, not her husband?


A lot of posters barely skim the initial post before they start offering their opinion. A great example of this is an unmarried guy (says so in his post) asks for advice and 100 people tell him to divorce her.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

*Deidre* said:


> Maybe he just felt awkward with your husband there, accepting a drink from you. Hard to say really, but congrats on winning $1000!! 👏


Haha or maybe he just valued his head 😅


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Livvie said:


> No, it doesn't mean the guy is an asshole.


Agreed, why is it wrong to reject crap from strangers? I wouldn't accept anything from strangers.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

gaius said:


> There are some physically ugly people out there, like that bankrupt crypto founders girlfriend.
> 
> View attachment 93276
> 
> ...


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder 😅


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Agreed, why is it wrong to reject crap from strangers? I wouldn't accept anything from strangers.


He came back to her table later and made a point of being an ahole.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Quad73 said:


> He came back to her table later and made a point of being an ahole.


Oh, I missed that part. What a c--t.

So what does this have to do with being ugly?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

RandomDude said:


> Oh, I missed that part. What a c--t.
> 
> So what does this have to do with being ugly?


Exactly. Apparently the reason he's being termed "an ahole" was he later commented that she was nuts. Maybe the dude was really put off by the whole situation. 

It's pretty out there to have to make a thread about a dude refusing her paying for his drink - when you are married, and attributing it to you being ugly. There might be more to the story.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Nope. No more. Offered to pay the beer the guy was buying because I was happy and in shock I won. 
I suddenly had $1000 I didn’t have 5 minutes before so thought “share the joy..buy the beer”.

Was t eyeing him up. Wasn’t trolling.

Ok he declined. I said nothing.

He came back after all I did was say can I buy your beer to insult me. 

Ok. His right..
I’m not looking. I’m not trolling. My feelings were hurt that a truly good turn was smacked down

I fe those who think I’m hunting around have an axe to grind. Whatever. This was never about insulting my husband it was sharing a goodwill beer after the only time I’ve won$


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Who cares, people put too much faith in humanity. I remember when I offered to help a woman in a wheelchair who was struggling pushing herself uphill.

Her response was for me to "get out of the fking way or I'll run you over you fking <insert racial slur here>"
She was lucky I restrained myself from pushing her back downhill! 

Anyway, what does this have to do with being ugly?  C--ts are c--ts, not worth this much brain room.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

snowbum said:


> Nope. No more. Offered to pay the beer the guy was buying because I was happy and in shock I won.
> I suddenly had $1000 I didn’t have 5 minutes before so thought “share the joy..buy the beer”.
> 
> Was t eyeing him up. Wasn’t trolling.
> ...


Why do you care so much about this guy (you are married why are you carrying on about it) and WHY are you lamenting that it has anything to do with your ATTRACTIVENESS level?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Actually, I never thought you were doing anything more than trying to share your excitement at winning. The dude was there, you offered to buy him a beer, and he was a jerk about it.

I can see how you'd be a bit taken aback by the rude response you got, but I don't understand why you'd be hurt. There are TONS of assholes walking the planet. You ran into one of them. Take solace in the fact that you made a nice offer. His response is on him.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Prodigal said:


> Actually, I never thought you were doing anything more than trying to share your excitement at winning. The dude was there, you offered to buy him a beer, and he was a jerk about it.
> 
> *I can see how you'd be a bit taken aback by the rude response you got, but I don't understand why you'd be hurt. There are TONS of assholes walking the planet. You ran into one of them*. Take solace in the fact that you made a nice offer. His response is on him.


Exactly, if I met a bloody mole on the street I wouldn't give two fks what she thinks of my appearance


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

None of that had anything to do with your looks but that’s what you made it about when you first posted. Maybe that’s what posters find unusual about your reaction. If some guy turned down my offer of a drink after I won some money and was celebrating with my husband and friends, my first thought wouldn’t be that he felt I was ugly. But apparently that was your first thought. And, yes, I find that odd.


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

Snowbum is a woman raised in the patriarchal, misogynist society that dictates a man will never turn a pretty woman down for anything, much less a free drink.
Call me a liar.

Snowbum, time for you to take your winnings and not give a f*ck. Life is short, spend it wisely.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

harperlee said:


> Snowbum is a woman raised in the patriarchal, misogynist society that dictates a man will never turn a pretty woman down for anything, much less a free drink.
> Call me a liar.
> 
> Snowbum, time for you to take your winnings and not give a f*ck. Life is short, spend it wisely.


Now I get it.

She's not used to being told no!


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

Livvie said:


> Now I get it.
> 
> She's not used to being told no!


You are so far ofc base. You don’t like me. Fair enough. But your assumptions are totally wrong. Never raised with a silver spoon and not at all spoiled.


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## harperlee (May 1, 2018)

Livvie said:


> Now I get it.
> 
> She's not used to being told no!


You can punch down or lift up.


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

snowbum said:


> You are so far ofc base. You don’t like me. Fair enough. But your assumptions are totally wrong. Never raised with a silver spoon and not at all spoiled.


So you won some $$ and offered to pay for this guy's beer. Nice gesture on your part but he declined. Ok fine. You said he came back to your table and insulted you.

What specifically did he say???

Asking because many on here (including myself) are wondering how him declining you paying for his beer would be because you're "ugly".

So again what specifically did he say to you that was insulting?


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)




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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

I offered the drink and said “ could I pay, “ mentioned the win. He looked at me rolled eyes and said no. I left him alone. He walked past later( never stopped z) and said your wife’s nuts. She’s a weirdo…. All I offered was to buy the drink. That’s it, gave me a look like I was dirt on the floor


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

snowbum said:


> I offered the drink and said “ could I pay, “ mentioned the win. He looked at me rolled eyes and said no. I left him alone. He walked past later( never stopped z) and said your wife’s nuts. She’s a weirdo…. All I offered was to buy the drink. That’s it, gave me a look like I was dirt on the floor


And by doing so this man has incredibly gained 6 days of your thoughts. 
Wow! I wonder if I have the same effect when I am an asshole to people 😅


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My thought would have been that the guy was just weird. Or drunk. Or both. Your thought was that he felt you were ugly. That’s an unusual reaction IMO and is at least part of the reason why many posters are puzzled about this. Hopefully, you’ve let it go at this point. He was never worth any thought at all — let alone that thought.


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## sideways (Apr 12, 2016)

snowbum said:


> I offered the drink and said “ could I pay, “ mentioned the win. He looked at me rolled eyes and said no. I left him alone. He walked past later( never stopped z) and said your wife’s nuts. She’s a weirdo…. All I offered was to buy the drink. That’s it, gave me a look like I was dirt on the floor


Thanks for answering the question. 

So the next question, based upon what he said to you, where are you getting that he declined the offer because "you're ugly"?

Being "nuts" or "weirdo" ok he insulted you, but to say that he called you ugly or thought you are ugly or declined the offer because you are ugly?? I'm not seeing how you're jumping to this???

Also some stranger declined your nice offer. Insulted you. Why do you care what this guy thinks about you? Seriously who cares what he thinks? Everyone doesn't have to like you. Do you like everyone?


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Just curious...Did your husband say anything to this guy after he insulted you ?


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

No he didn’t because the guy muttered it and moved on. Would a confrontation have been helpful? 
look, my feelings were hurt. I own it. I’m the other side of young and took it wrong. Nooone wants to be treated poorly. At this I’m done.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

snowbum said:


> Nope. No more. Offered to pay the beer the guy was buying because I was happy and in shock I won.
> I suddenly had $1000 I didn’t have 5 minutes before so thought “share the joy..buy the beer”.
> 
> Was t eyeing him up. Wasn’t trolling.
> ...


He sounds like a lot of people that frequented the casino I worked in.

We had to get special training to prepare us to deal with them.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

snowbum said:


> No he didn’t because the guy muttered it and moved on. Would a confrontation have been helpful?
> look, my feelings were hurt. I own it. I’m the other side of young and took it wrong. Nooone wants to be treated poorly. At this I’m done.


This leads me to believe you used your sexual/attractiveness currency with men to be treated a certain way when you were younger.

Otherwise, you wouldn't have jumped right to your looks as the reason why he was not interested and gruff in this instance. 

I guess men have never been rude to you before and you thought it was because you were so attractive???


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Livvie said:


> This leads me to believe you used your sexual/attractiveness currency with men to be treated a certain way when you were younger.
> 
> Otherwise, you wouldn't have jumped right to your looks as the reason why he was not interested and gruff in this instance.
> 
> I guess men have never been rude to you before and you thought it was because you were so attractive???


Reminds me of an old friend I mentioned on the other thread, if a guy didn't check her out, he must have been gay!


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

snowbum said:


> No I don’t need outside validation. I simply didn’t expect to have someone be downright mean. I get no thanks or I’m good. It was the nastiness.
> 
> And this isn’t me hitting on men, habit of bad behavior, I’d like to let it die now. I don’t cheat and wouldn’t cheat.


One thing -- he was mean and rude, but did he SAY that he didn't want a drink because you were ugly?
What made you interpret his rejection of the drink to being that you were ugly?

ETA: Sorry, just saw that you responded as to what he said. STILL is just him being an ass. Being called a weirdo isn't being called ugly at all...


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

snowbum said:


> your wife’s nuts. She’s a weirdo….


Are you nuts?
Are you a weirdo?
Most importantly are you ugly?


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

... when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

It seems like that hit a nerve. so I'm just going to ask if there's someone else or some other thing that happened in the past that made you feel like this did.


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## Frithy (May 6, 2020)

Maybe he was offended that you were offering to buy him, a man, a drink especially so brazenly infront of your own husband. I'm suggesting that whether you meant it that way or not, he took it as a married woman openly inviting him to sex and emasculating her own husband at the same time. He was offended by the thought and reacted accordingly. 

Just my theory as that's how I'd interpret it if I were to have been him at the time.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Frithy said:


> Maybe he was offended that you were offering to buy him, a man, a drink especially so brazenly infront of your own husband. I'm suggesting that whether you meant it that way or not, he took it as a married woman openly inviting him to sex and emasculating her own husband at the same time. He was offended by the thought and reacted accordingly.
> 
> Just my theory as that's how I'd interpret it if I were to have been him at the time.


Not in the U.S.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

You are only ugly, when that inner substrate finds itself oozing out of your mouth.

It ain't perfumed Myrrh, or balm, it is verbal bile.
Vile bile, acidic, and caustic to hear.
The words impart, force forth, a frown, never a smile.


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