# Such a mess...



## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

I've been married for 15 years and having an affair for more than two years now. This isn't my first affair, but it puts the others in the shade. I had two flings, in years 5 and 8 of my marriage.

Current OM is married and ten years older than me with two kids, like me. I was bored in my marriage since early on. For the past ten years I have been really miserable. Like I said, I had a couple of short-term flings, but then met OM/MM and realised I had never loved before - not even my H. OM always said he loved me too and would one day be with me, but recently his wife found out and he threw me under the bus. He said he couldn't leave his kids. I begged him to keep the affair going as I thought I would die without him, and he agreed so long as I did not put too much pressure on him, so we still talk about meeting again when we can. 

The trouble is, since OM made it clear he is staying in his marriage I've been feeling hopeless. I can't face ending the affair and having nothing to live for. I can't face ending my marriage and being alone and despised by everybody. I've read a lot here and at other sites of marriages that are saved after affairs. The problem is I dont think we had anything to save in the first place. Is it possible to make a marriage that was never that good, good now? How on earth would I go about doing that? Please don't tell me to confess the affair as I can't see how that would help anything.

Please help. I feel desperate.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

"Please don't tell me to confess the affair as I can't see how that would help anything."

How on earth do you think having a healthy or good marriage would survive without honesty?

You've lied for how many years and for how many AP's?

But confessing wouldn't help anything?

I bet your husband would think differently.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Well hopefully OMW will do the right thing and contact your husband and expose your cheat to him so he can take corrective action. Then you won't be living in a boring marriage and he won't be living in a lie and a one sided iron marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Its also telling that even after the OM threw you under the bus you still chose him over your husband. So how could you possibly salvage your marriage when you think do horribly of your husband.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

I doubt you can make a marriage good if it wasn't good to begin with.
It seems like you're more concerned with being alone instead of being with the right person.
You're not into your husband, you've probably never been into him, do both of you a favor & get out, so that 1) he can find someone who won't cheat on him because she's bored 2) so that you can find someone to entertain you.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Its also telling that even after the OM threw you under the bus you still chose him over your husband. So how could you possibly salvage your marriage when you think do horribly of your husband.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well, she said she's been bored since the marriage began. Maybe it's kind of like a game or something.

I find it telling that the OM told you how much he loved you and threw you under the bus immediately.

So loving.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

So why not divorce your husband so you can live the fun single life as the OMs mistress and your husband can upgrade to someone who actually loves and respects him?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> So why not divorce your husband so you can live the fun single life as the OMs mistress and your husband can upgrade to someone who actually loves and respects him?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That'd mess things up doncha think? I mean, someone's gotta pay for her lifestyle.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I want to state that if my comments are harsh it's entirely because you are asking for help to maintain you deliberately and unremirseful life as a cheating wife. You have no interest in stopping. You have no interest in coming clean. You have no guilt.

This is a anti cheating community. Yes there are people here who have cheated, but they are typically trying to reconcile. For that support is offered, but support to help you continue cheating! Seriously?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

And my comments are meant to be outrageous sounding so that you, OP, might actually think about what your first post said.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Troll? I dunno. 

There is a site for you, OP, to get sympathy and support about your situation.

This isn't it.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> So why not divorce your husband so you can live the fun single life as the OMs mistress and your husband can upgrade to someone who actually loves and respects him?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks for all the replies. Shaggy, I know too well that the single life as OM's mistress wouldn't be fun at all.

What I didn't say in my first post was that my H had an EA first. When we first moved here and I was alone without friends or family, he fell in love with a woman at work. He confessed his feelings to me one day just like that. It was around then that I realised we were probably never in love, and I lost faith in my marriage. My first fling happened a few months after that.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

> but then met OM/MM and realised I had never loved before - not even my H.


You DO realise that's probably not true, OK?

What has happened is that in order to facilitate your decision to have an affair you have re-invented your marriage and the history of your marriage.

You never loved your husband, your husband was this, that and the other, he never did x, y, z, etc.

You have entered the special world of affairs. Where everything is fluffy and nice, where the leaves on the trees are made of yummy chocolate and where the sky is always a nice, warm, pink colour.

Your lover is Prince Charming, your husband is a mean old ogre, kept in a dungeon way, way below Pinknfluffy land.

Meanwhile, in the real world... well, who cares about sucky, nasty reality where infidelity cuts like a knife and where cheated people are walked on as if they are paving slabs?

UPDATE: Oh! A revenge affair? I had one. I hurt myself worse than my wife's affair had. How about that for a surprise?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

So he I'd the right thing, he confessed and ended his EA. how does that get twisted around it bring ok for you having affairs? Why not just divorce. Cheating is a horrible choice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Ohhhh...the old he-had-an-EA-and-I'm-justified-to-sleep-with-a-couple-men now trick.

Oh. That's fine then. I would say keep your mouth shut and as George Costanza says "put it in the vault". It's not a lie if you believe it.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

MattMatt, thank you for understanding. I am not explaining this well. My revenge affairs I believe have hurt me worse than his original affair did. I have made myself more unhappy than I ever thought possible because now I feel used and rejected into the bargain. I'm not looking for support to continue the affair as someone said. I'm looking for the path to having a good marriage after the affairs.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> MattMatt, thank you for understanding. I am not explaining this well. My revenge affairs I believe have hurt me worse than his original affair did. I have made myself more unhappy than I ever thought possible because now I feel used and rejected into the bargain. I'm not looking for support to continue the affair as someone said. I'm looking for the path to having a good marriage after the affairs.


You can. There are examples on TAM of couples who did it and who are doing it, now.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

If you are truly looking for the path to having a good marriage, then you MUST be honest and truthful with your husband. Saying that telling the truth won't solve anything is crap, to be honest. It's simply you being scared that he's gonna walk.

But...doesn't he deserve to know the truth? How did you deal with him after his EA? Were you understanding to the point that if he hadn't told you that your marriage would be okay?

These are serious questions you need to ask yourself when you look in the mirror.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

I'm sorry to hear your OM threw you under the bus. 

Your husband seems to be inadequate in fulfilling your needs, dump him and find a better husband.


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

Life is so miserable for you because you made it that way.

It is funny how you can't think of living without the OM but you certainly would have no problem if his wife had to. 

You don't seem to care about anyone but you so continue on what you are doing as I see a snowball's chance in hell of you coming clean with your husband. Eventually, the OM's wife will find out and you can have the OM all to yourself.

Only then will your husband be able to get rid of your worthless arse. I feel so sorry for your kids.

Do you want to do the right thing? Really? Tell your husband, tell the OM's wife and pray that you don't get what you deserve. You don't love your husband? (Duh.) How about you divorce him, treat him better than you did when he was your husband and let the poor man move on? Maybe one day your kids will forgive you, maybe not but at least you can say once you started to do the right thing you never stopped doing the right thing.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

keko said:


> I'm sorry to hear your OM threw you under the bus.
> 
> Your husband seems to be inadequate in fulfilling your needs, dump him and find a better husband.


Not _entirely_ sure that was helpful!


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

An awful lot of false equivelancy being thrown around this here site as a defense of late. "He did it first!" This is seriously the third or fourth one in the past week or so.

OP- your fear of being alone aside, don't you think it'd be better for all involved if you simply ended it?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

was eve framed by god?

hmmmm sounds like its time to move on with your life.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> You can. There are examples on TAM of couples who did it and who are doing it, now.


Yes, and as Dig said... gotta come clean to the husband. The only way to REALLY try to fix the marriage is by laying it all out there. He needs to know what he is working with if he is to make the decision whether to continue in the marriage or not. Yes, in confessing, you DO run the risk of him saying it's over. But you say you have been unhappy for so long... Would you rather continue in an unhappy marriage, with this horrible secret (which, btw, you could have passed an STD on to him)? Or do you want to make a real effort with him, and risk him not wanting to stay married? 

I'm sorry, OP, that you don't want to hear "tell him the truth" but that really is the only way you can truly try to work out your marriage...IF it's even salvageable. You aren't letting him make an informed decision if you keep this secret to yourself. That isn't fair to him.

You came here, asking for advice.... this is the advice. Tell the man the truth.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I don't see how one can even bother to post in this thread. 

Oh well. I did the same.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Yes, and as Dig said... gotta come clean to the husband. The only way to REALLY try to fix the marriage is by laying it all out there. He needs to know what he is working with if he is to make the decision whether to continue in the marriage or not. Yes, in confessing, you DO run the risk of him saying it's over. But you say you have been unhappy for so long... Would you rather continue in an unhappy marriage, with this horrible secret (which, btw, you could have passed an STD on to him)? Or do you want to make a real effort with him, and risk him not wanting to stay married?
> 
> I'm sorry, OP, that you don't want to hear "tell him the truth" but that really is the only way you can truly try to work out your marriage...IF it's even salvageable. You aren't letting him make an informed decision if you keep this secret to yourself. That isn't fair to him.
> 
> You came here, asking for advice.... this is the advice. Tell the man the truth.


:iagree:


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

evewasframed said:


> MattMatt, thank you for understanding. I am not explaining this well. My revenge affairs I believe have hurt me worse than his original affair did. I have made myself more unhappy than I ever thought possible because now I feel used and rejected into the bargain. I'm not looking for support to continue the affair as someone said. I'm looking for the path to having a good marriage after the affairs.


Not saying you're a bad person, but honestly I don't think you love your husband anymore and you haven't since the EA. You stayed for the security and now you're looking for the knight in shining armor to come along and sweep you away to LA LA land and live happily ever after.

For this last affair how much effort did you put into it? 100% of your heart and energy right? Because you wanted him to be the one, leave his wife, marry you and you both go on to live a long and happy life.

Take that energy and love and put 25% into your marriage and then put another 25% once you feel comfortable and keep adding a little bit at a time so that you don't feel overwhelmed with it all. A hug and a kiss in the morning, then add a hug and a kiss at night. Hold his hand once in a while. Little baby steps.

Can you look at your husband and see the man you married so many years ago? If you say no then the marriage is most likely dead and it's time to move on. Unless you're just gonna keep using him until you find prince charming.

If you want a happy marriage, you're gonna have to open your heart to your husband again. Can't be happy if you can't love him anymore.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

So many posts that I can't keep up with them all, but thanks to all. It seems that everyone thinks I cannot have a better marriage without telling my H.

Who asked what it felt like when he told me about his EA? Did I say I was glad he told me? The answer is no I didn't. Having an EA didn't make our marriage better. I only see the possibility now from reading so many forums. When my H told me, I was boiling mad that he thought so little of me that he could do a thing like that. He confessed because as a Catholic, honesty was important to him but he wasn't saying that he wanted something better with me. It was like he was talking to his best friend and unburdening his heart. He didn't have a clue what he had done to me. He thought an EA was a lot better than a PA and I didn't have too much to be upset about. 

Someone else said that OMW will find out. She has already found out, that's when he threw me under the bus. She found hidden condoms and confronted him. He convinced her that he will stop, and she hasn't asked for my details, so I don't think she will out me to my H.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

evewasframed said:


> Thanks for all the replies. Shaggy, I know too well that the single life as OM's mistress wouldn't be fun at all.
> 
> What I didn't say in my first post was that my H had an EA first. When we first moved here and I was alone without friends or family, he fell in love with a woman at work. He confessed his feelings to me one day just like that. It was around then that I realised we were probably never in love, and I lost faith in my marriage. My first fling happened a few months after that.


No excuse. He had an EA. So you one upped him and had a "fling". Then you continued to be a serial cheater. These were choices on your part. The thing is that you lost respect for him but by cheating on him you continued to lose respect for him. So you cannot fall back in love with him.

Do the right thing. Tell him and then move on with your life. What you are doing is flat out mean and cruel.

Whether you want to R or not is a whole other discussion but things will not get better with what you are doing.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> I don't see how one can even bother to post in this thread.
> 
> Oh well. I did the same.


Do you mean you had an affair and didn't tell?


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

You have nothing to offer to make your marriage work: You don't love your husband, you are with him because he/the facade is of use to you. You have no remorse at all, not even a inch of guilt, not shame at all. You have embraced cheating as a lifestyle. As a matter of fact your post is way more typical of a single mistress than a married cheater. In a certain sense your marriage is irrelevant, you actually aren't married mostly.
In order to live this double, two faced, compartimentalized life, built on lies, mostly to yourself, you have to be very broken. No doubt about it. 
I don't say it to hurt you but out of concern: You are a very broken person. You are just so used to be this way you can't comprehend the severity of the dysfunction. You don't know who you are at all. I strongly suggest you to get IC, a nonsense one, one who doesn't limit to cuddle you and call in your sh!t and help you become a whole person. It won't happen overnight. You need to choose and commit to mental/emotional/physical/spiritual health, you need to choose and commit to live life with honesty, integrity... 
Fix yourself. Get help.

As a firt step, no matter what happens with your marriage chose and commit to stop being this POSMOM's OW. He's just a cake eater. Poor thing can't leave for the kids. My @ss! You know the full truth. He's a cake eater, you are his cake. You knew time ago. You are just pissed off because you left yourself to eat the full fantasy of breaking both marriages and run to the sunset. He's using you (Not that you weren't using him). Decide to stop being a homewrecker, an intruder in someone else marriage, leave that family alone. I can garantee you will be replaced like yesterday with another OW. That's it. I shouldn't matter to you. That family is not your bussiness. Send him a NC letter. Cut any way of comunication with him. Get past the rejection, the withdrawal. Suck it up.

I feel for your husband, poor man. He was wrong to become emotionaly attached to that coworker but them the poor bastard did the right thing. What a shame. Likely he still blames himself for the surely obvious broken marriage he has.


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## kindi (Apr 28, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> Is it possible to make a marriage that was never that good, good now? How on earth would I go about doing that? Please don't tell me to confess the affair as I can't see how that would help anything.
> 
> Please help. I feel desperate.


You could stay with this man knowing you repeatedly cheated on him, and not feel any guilt at the ongoing deception?

If so, then you're not the type to be in a committed exclusive relationship that requires mutual trust, respect, and honesty.

So the short answer is, in your case, no, it's not possible to make a marriage work, especially one that was never good.

Frankly you'd be better off single, with no commitments, that way you can just screw whoever you want, assuming of course they're ok with it. Think how much easier it would be, without your husband waiting for you at home you don't have to go to all that extra work to cover your tracks all the time, that must be exhausting.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

kindi said:


> You could stay with this man knowing you repeatedly cheated on him, and not feel any guilt at the ongoing deception?
> 
> If so, then you're not the type to be in a committed exclusive relationship that requires mutual trust, respect, and honesty.
> 
> ...


I did feel guilt at the ongoing deception when I was seeing him. I haven't seen him since D Day in May.

But I don't agree with the poster that said I am broken and need therapy. I probably do need therapy to get over this, but I don't have something wrong with me.

I'm like a lot of women who give a lot to their marriage and then at some point the resentment builds and they lash out. I suppose I do blame my H for creating the conditions that led me to my affair. I know people aren't going to like me saying that, but that's how I feel.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

And by the way, my H did not do the right thing with the co-worker. I called this an EA but maybe that is the wrong term. What he told me when he confessed was that he had fallen in love with her. They worked closely together and went to lunch and drinks after work with others, always in a group, and he seemingly developed a blinding passion for her that he never told her about until the end. The end came when he told her he had feelings for her and she was upset. She wasn't married but she knew he was and she did not want to be involved in some else's marriage. She gave him a dressing down and asked to be moved to another section at work. He told me about this soon after.

So he didn't do the right thing. He was dumped, rather like me.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

evewasframed said:


> I did feel guilt at the ongoing deception when I was seeing him. I haven't seen him since D Day in May.
> 
> But I don't agree with the poster that said I am broken and need therapy. I probably do need therapy to get over this, but I don't have something wrong with me.
> 
> I'm like a lot of women who give a lot to their marriage and then at some point the resentment builds and they lash out. I suppose I do blame my H for creating the conditions that led me to my affair. I know people aren't going to like me saying that, but that's how I feel.


Wait a minute. You said you have had affairs with at least THREE other men. Years 5, 8 and the current one. What - you don't really count the first two people you cheated with?

Any possibility that the children are not your husband's?

Your husband confessed his EA to you - why can you not be honest with him about your PA's? OK - that was a stupid question. He would show you the road - right?

You have nothing to rebuild with until you can be honest with your husband.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Does your current OM know who you are? Does she know your husband?


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

TDSC60 said:


> Does your current OM know who you are? Does she know your husband?


Do you mean "the current OMW"? No, she doesn't know who I am. She didn't ask my name and he didn't tell her. She doesn't know me or my H and we have never met her.


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

i think this should be posted over in doc xxxx's place!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

evewasframed said:


> And by the way, my H did not do the right thing with the co-worker. I called this an EA but maybe that is the wrong term. What he told me when he confessed was that he had fallen in love with her. They worked closely together and went to lunch and drinks after work with others, always in a group, and he seemingly developed a blinding passion for her that he never told her about until the end. The end came when he told her he had feelings for her and she was upset. She wasn't married but she knew he was and she did not want to be involved in some else's marriage. She gave him a dressing down and asked to be moved to another section at work. He told me about this soon after.
> 
> So he didn't do the right thing. He was dumped, rather like me.


This was an EA, even if it was one sided. I do think he did the right thing by telling you. The fact you did not discover it and he chose to tell you speaks well of his character frankly. He knew he was wrong and wanted to make it right. Good folks can fall in love with the wrong people if they have poor boundaries and are not savvy. Yes he was still wrong. But this pales incomparison IMO.

From your writing he never actually put his penis in another woman. Would he have. Who knows. But he had enough guilt at what he did to tell you he had inappropriate feelings.

Now did he tell you in a mean way or was he sorry?

But I do get the feeling you hold a lot of resentment for your husband and it feels at least in part that by cheating on him you are able to hurt him.
Am I wrong?

I do think that you should consider that you may have been rewriting history. This is commonly the case when people say they never really loved someone. More justification. It also belittles the husband I think. That he was so much less than the OM and that you loved the OM but not him.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Resentment builds in the marriage cuz its created in the brain of the wayward spouse in order to justify the idiocy they are living.

And sorry, but if your husband didn't have sex with the woman then it most certain was "just" an EA. Not saying it's okay that he did, but you banging other guys is just a bit worse.


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## lifeisnotsogood (Jun 11, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> I've been married for 15 years and having an affair for more than two years now. This isn't my first affair, but it puts the others in the shade. I had two flings, in years 5 and 8 of my marriage.
> 
> Current OM is married and ten years older than me with two kids, like me. I was bored in my marriage since early on. For the past ten years I have been really miserable. Like I said, I had a couple of short-term flings, but then met OM/MM and realised I had never loved before - not even my H. OM always said he loved me too and would one day be with me, but recently his wife found out and he threw me under the bus. He said he couldn't leave his kids. I begged him to keep the affair going as I thought I would die without him, and he agreed so long as I did not put too much pressure on him, so we still talk about meeting again when we can.
> 
> ...


There is no help for you. You are a serial cheater. The only reason you are staying with your H is because the OM won't leave his wife. He will never leave his wife for you. Think about it, he couldn't possibly trust you ever. A woman that has had two affairs and is so good at it that she has not been caught, wow. It's time for you to grow up and either, find the love you once had with your H, or get out. Sure, it may not be the same as what you experienced with the OM, but that's because you never lived with the OM. You had a relationship of convenience with this guy, none of the bad stuff; the stuff that comes to light when you've been married for years. Although I think he deserves to know, I believe if you tell him, he will leave you, so that's for you to decide. But if you plan on staying with you H, you have to stop seeing this OM. If his wife discovers the relationship has continued, she will tell you H. Then where will you be? Because the OM will stay with his wife. Why? Because he can TRUST her. He cannot trust you.

I'm sure you loved your H at one point. Find that love again.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

TDSC60 said:


> Wait a minute. You said you have had affairs with at least THREE other men. Years 5, 8 and the current one. What - you don't really count the first two people you cheated with?
> 
> Any possibility that the children are not your husband's?
> 
> ...


I do count the first two people I cheated with. Why do you say that? And I wasn't unfaithful until after the kids were born.

I don't really know whether my H would show me the road. After all, I didn't do that to him. But I know he would be devastated to learn that I had been unfaithful and he might find it impossible to recover from that. We could never be happy for sure if he found that out. When he spoke about falling in love with the co-worker he said a lot of things like he hadn't been unfaithful, he hadn't committed adultery. He thought that it shouldn't be a deal breaker because he hadn't had sex of any kind, not even the Clinton kind. He wanted credit for telling me his feelings and he thought I should be relieved that he had not had sex with her. From this I know that me having had sex with other men would kill him.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

67flh said:


> i think this should be posted over in doc xxxx's place!


I don't understand this. Could you explain?


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## mestalla guy (Mar 20, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> I don't understand this. Could you explain?


Its a forum for cheaters
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

lifeisnotsogood said:


> There is no help for you. You are a serial cheater. The only reason you are staying with your H is because the OM won't leave his wife. He will never leave his wife for you. Think about it, he couldn't possibly trust you ever. A woman that has had two affairs and is so good at it that she has not been caught, wow. It's time for you to grow up and either, find the love you once had with your H, or get out. Sure, it may not be the same as what you experienced with the OM, but that's because you never lived with the OM. You had a relationship of convenience with this guy, none of the bad stuff; the stuff that comes to light when you've been married for years. Although I think he deserves to know, I believe if you tell him, he will leave you, so that's for you to decide. But if you plan on staying with you H, you have to stop seeing this OM. If his wife discovers the relationship has continued, she will tell you H. Then where will you be? Because the OM will stay with his wife. Why? Because he can TRUST her. He cannot trust you.
> 
> I'm sure you loved your H at one point. Find that love again.


I hate this post.

I hate it because it is so true.

Thank you. You've made me face things I'd rather not think about.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> From this I know that me having had sex with other men would kill him.


Exactly. Thus, you won't tell him cuz you'd lose the milk ticket.

Sorry...just calling it like it is.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Of course you are broken. You are not a wife "who gave all" and then resentments made her lash out. You could have a revenge affair (or an affair out of revenge as most of them are like) and get out, fix whatever, move on. You didn't this. You are downplaying, minimizing this too much. The vast mayoiry of your marriage is a complete lie, you started cheating at mark 5 of a 15 years marriage. And actually in the back of your mind you now nothing can be fixed without disclosing all this which of course will led you you keep cheating in the future. It's ineludible
Normal, healthy people can't carry such deception like this without serious issues. Google serial cheating. Try more sites for marriage/infidelity, ask about serial cheating and the chances they can "change". Given the way you told "your husband wanted credit for confessing..." it's obvious honesty in relationships is something you discarded a very long time ago. Do you have a story of cheating before your BH? 
It's not about your marriage anymore, it's about you. It's not a reaction towards your husband. It's not something you did, it's now who you are. I'm sure there're more boundarie crossing you doesn't count as cheating. You are broken, friend.
Serial cheaters repeat this behavvior in every relationship. That's why one poster recomended to stay single (I'd add stay away from people in relationships).


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## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

I was very recently a wayward spouse. I think I have the ability to show a great deal of compassion to both wayward and betrayed spouses. But reading this thread has made my blood boil to the point that I can't even find the words to formulate a response...... And for anyone who has read even a few of my lengthy posts you know that's saying a lot.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> *Originally Posted by lifeisnotsogood *There is no help for you. You are a serial cheater. The only reason you are staying with your H is because the OM won't leave his wife. He will never leave his wife for you. Think about it, he couldn't possibly trust you ever. A woman that has had two affairs and is so good at it that she has not been caught, wow. It's time for you to grow up and either, find the love you once had with your H, or get out. Sure, it may not be the same as what you experienced with the OM, but that's because you never lived with the OM. You had a relationship of convenience with this guy, none of the bad stuff; the stuff that comes to light when you've been married for years. Although I think he deserves to know, I believe if you tell him, he will leave you, so that's for you to decide. But if you plan on staying with you H, you have to stop seeing this OM. If his wife discovers the relationship has continued, she will tell you H. Then where will you be? Because the OM will stay with his wife. Why? Because he can TRUST her. He cannot trust you.
> 
> I'm sure you loved your H at one point. Find that love again.




*Very good post above!!!*

I only have one little bit of disagreement with the above post; the part that said
“There is no help for you.”

There is help/hope for you but don’t think that you are going to have a really fulfilled relationship with your husband ever. In fact the poster above is probably right, your husband will probably leave you.

The help/hope I am talking about is that you can improve on your selfish and defeated attitude quite a bit. You need professional help with your emotions, character, thinking, and spiritual condition. However, you have probably done permanent damage to some degree in being able to be a real strong giver in a relationship.

*What you have done can not be totally erased in months or even several years but you do have hope of being a lot better than you are now IMO.[/*COLOR]


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

OP, if you think that the OMW would not out you, you are sadly mistaken. Ask the majority of women who have been cheated on, and see how many would let a married OW get away with f**king her husband, and not be like an enraged Lioness. You are living on borrowed time, the OMW doesn't know who you are....yet. but you can bet that when she does find out, she is going to do her best to make your life miserable. Think about it.....she is going to be doubly on her guard, from now on, so if the OM contacts you or you contact him, she is probably going to know it very soon, then she is going to dig until she finds out who you are, where you live, and who you are married to. You are in BIG trouble.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

evewasframed said:


> Do you mean "the current OMW"? No, she doesn't know who I am. She didn't ask my name and he didn't tell her. She doesn't know me or my H and we have never met her.


This folks is why its critical for the BS to find the other betrayed spouse and expose.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey eve---instead of going thru all of this crap you are involved with---cheating here/there/everywhere, and staying with a H., that also cheated, and being involved with men you can never really be with

Get a D., and go find a man you can be with, as in single, and available----they are out there, in droves---or are you telling me there is not one decent single man out there, who you could not enjoy a life with that is free of all this BS, you are involved in?????


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Empty Inside said:


> I was very recently a wayward spouse. I think I have the ability to show a great deal of compassion to both wayward and betrayed spouses. But reading this thread has made my blood boil to the point that I can't even find the words to formulate a response...... And for anyone who has read even a few of my lengthy posts you know that's saying a lot.


It is saying a great deal. Evewasframed should seek out your posts and read them.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> Do you mean you had an affair and didn't tell?


No. I've never had an affair thus there was nothing to tell.


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## MadeInMichigan (May 8, 2012)

Your AP is a fool to stay with his wife. Can't he see what he is losing by not leaving her and being with you?

Its absolutely amazing the sacrifices you have made for him, covering your tracks, keeping track of all the lies to your H, juggling a household, kids, marriage while still devoting 100% of your energy and love to him. 

WTF is wrong with him? You are a great catch, a loving devoted AP. I am so sad for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

MadeInMichigan said:


> Your AP is a fool to stay with his wife. Can't he see what he is losing by not leaving her and being with you?
> 
> Its absolutely amazing the sacrifices you have made for him, covering your tracks, keeping track of all the lies to your H, juggling a household, kids, marriage while still devoting 100% of your energy and love to him.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

He know this so he agreed for limited contact without any pressure from her. He can now bang her without a burden of lying to her that she is beautiful, jovial, loving, caring, his wife is horrible and he never loved any one like he loved OP. Lucky bastard...


May god help her husband. OP told her husband is catholic, i dont know why the god keeps his devotee in darkness for this long. Ten yrs is toooo long...........


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

mestalla guy said:


> Its a forum for cheaters
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She knows what it is, she is already a regular there and is bullsh*tting us.

The MM abbreviation (see her first post) is very much a doccool thing.

OP, since you don't want any advice, I'm not going to provide it here. Just hope your husband eventually finds out, and your kids will not grow up the kind of persons you are.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

No Snap.

Her husband will find out. It is only a matter of time before OMW gets really pissed off and looks deep.

Then Eve's world will really blow up.

And she will deserve it.

Oh how these cheaters never learn. And they run from honesty.

And they wonder why their affair partners throw them under the bus???


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Hey.
My wife did pretty much what you have been doing. I found out and exposed her. Her AP did not throw under a bus, he declared undying love. Now here is the problem..

You have kids and you are going to have to interact with your H for a very, very long time. Your H had an EA and confessed. YOU decided that you would stay. 
This was your decision. You could have divorced him. Instead, you chose to have multiple affairs and disconnect from him. Why?

Here is how it ends up.
Divorce. Just take everything you have and flush it down the toilet. Reset to zero.

The 15 month affair she had with the "love of her life" did not last in the harsh light of reality. I have a court date for the Divorce [finally. long story] and she is realizing that perhaps I am not the ogre she thought I was. Realizing that she really did love me and seeing the devastation around her. Wanting a chance to work it out.

At some point you are going to have to face reality. Telling him may possibly give you a small chance that you can avoid Divorce. 
Own your own sh1t


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## cabin fever (Feb 9, 2012)

I usually don't reply to these types of threads, becuase most Wayward, still cheating spouses, aren't capable of thinking realistically. BUT no one with half a brain is going to agree with you. 

But i find it funny (yes FUNNY) that you are hurt becuase the OM threw you under the bus. WAKE THE F UP!. He was using you for the SEX!. He didn't love you, and never did. Yea I know he told you that, and how much he wanted to be with you........guess what!!!.......It was all to get in your pants. Hell, now that he's caught, he doesn't even want to be with you anymore. Even your snatch isn't worth him losing his wife. 

you were, and always will be #2 to his wife. 

congrats. You have screwed up your life, his life, and his wife's life. 

Divorce your husband, get couseling, and quit trying to justify your affair. Get couseling to find out why you're a serial cheater. 

And in the future, when you meet someone...give em the courtsey of telling them, that you'll most likely cheat on them, and, will never be happy with your self.


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## Alyosha (Feb 27, 2012)

Love will not abide where there is no truth. Please do your husband a favor and divorce him so he has a chance to live a genuine life.

*sigh*... just another entitled child in an adult body wreaking havoc on the lives of others. So much damage done. So much more to come.

You are incapable of ever making anyone happy, including yourself, in your current state. You *can *change that but it will likely be the hardest thing you've ever attempted in your life.

I'll wish you luck, eve, because at the bottom of all this pathology you are still a human being but we both know that luck will have nothing to do with how it works out for you from here on.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So what you are saying is you don't really love your husband and are only staying with him because the OM won't leave his wife.

Nice.

Just divorce your husband. You said yourself you do not love him. What's the point in staying?


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> I've been married for 15 years and having an affair for more than two years now. This isn't my first affair, but it puts the others in the shade. I had two flings, in years 5 and 8 of my marriage.
> 
> Current OM is married and ten years older than me with two kids, like me. I was bored in my marriage since early on. For the past ten years I have been really miserable. Like I said, I had a couple of short-term flings, but then met OM/MM and realised I had never loved before - not even my H. OM always said he loved me too and would one day be with me, but recently his wife found out and he threw me under the bus. He said he couldn't leave his kids. I begged him to keep the affair going as I thought I would die without him, and he agreed so long as I did not put too much pressure on him, so we still talk about meeting again when we can.
> 
> ...


You need some heavy duty counseling to face who you are. 

Your behavior is deceitful and hurtful and narcissistic and cowardly. 

Please let your spouse go so he can find someone he deserves and who loves him. 

Also, you need to ask why you are allowing this married man to use you. 

He obviously doesn't love you. Staying with him in any form seems masochistic.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

evewasframed said:


> MattMatt, thank you for understanding. I am not explaining this well. My revenge affairs I believe have hurt me worse than his original affair did. I have made myself more unhappy than I ever thought possible because now I feel used and rejected into the bargain. I'm not looking for support to continue the affair as someone said. I'm looking for the path to having a good marriage after the affairs.


If someone later in this thread said this (I'm not caught up), I apologize.

But if you have no accountability for your affairs, how will you ever change your behavior and be happier? So let's say you don't tell your husband. You go about your marriage. You will eventually be bored again, right? You'll just keep going from affair to affair and become emptier and emptier. See where it's gotten you? On a marriage site, miserable.

You have to break the pattern - the only way to do this is to confess and let the chips fall.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

MadeInMichigan said:


> Your AP is a fool to stay with his wife. Can't he see what he is losing by not leaving her and being with you?
> 
> Its absolutely amazing the sacrifices you have made for him, covering your tracks, keeping track of all the lies to your H, juggling a household, kids, marriage while still devoting 100% of your energy and love to him.
> 
> ...


Loved this post. 

Exactly the reason why my STBEH does not want to stays with or marry his former OW. 

He already said she is a liar and cheater and player. But, he fails to see that he is too. For him the affair was a guy thing and guys ALL CHEAT, according to him. 

He also knows she sees her husband as a meal ticket only, and she talks about how she is disgusted by his body and hair and such, and STBH knows he will be the next subject of her gossip. 

It's no surprise that he does not want her as a real life wife.

And, it should be no surprise to this thread originator that her affair partner does not respect her or love her or even care what happens to her after he has his fun.

to the poster: To have any chance of a good marriage fess up, otherwise you will likely cheat again.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

cabin fever said:


> I usually don't reply to these types of threads, becuase most Wayward, still cheating spouses, aren't capable of thinking realistically. BUT no one with half a brain is going to agree with you.
> 
> But i find it funny (yes FUNNY) that you are hurt becuase the OM threw you under the bus. WAKE THE F UP!. He was using you for the SEX!. He didn't love you, and never did. Yea I know he told you that, and how much he wanted to be with you........guess what!!!.......It was all to get in your pants. Hell, now that he's caught, he doesn't even want to be with you anymore. Even your snatch isn't worth him losing his wife.
> 
> ...




Somehow I feel her lover (affair partner) is doing the same thing she's doing to her husband. They are both cheaters and have the same mentality. It's an interesting way for her to live her remaining life as a serial cheater.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Sara8 said:


> Loved this post.
> 
> Exactly the reason why my STBEH does not want to stays with or marry his former OW.
> 
> ...


Sara, her AP may be saying the same things about eve to his wife.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> Sara, her AP may be saying the same things about eve to his wife.


Without a doubt.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

How can a person decieve, cheat, lie to her kids and husband for ten loong yrs?

How can one behave as if everything is fine for this long?

How can one deceive, cheat and lie to self for this long?

Really something is broken...........


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## EI (Jun 12, 2012)

Alyosha said:


> Love will not abide where there is no truth. Please do your husband a favor and divorce him so he has a chance to live a genuine life.
> 
> *sigh*... just another entitled child in an adult body wreaking havoc on the lives of others. So much damage done. So much more to come.
> 
> ...


I really liked your post. Blunt, honest, straightforward, but without malice and goodwill added. Wow!


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

Thanks to all for taking time to post to me. I know that most don't believe me but I didn't come here seeking justification for the affair. I wanted to know whether my marriage could become happy after all we've been through. The few who think it has a slim chance of working say that I need to confess. At first I thought confession could only make things worse, but I've thought about all that you said and I now don't think it could get any worse, and there is a chance that it could get better. So that's what I am going to do. I am not really frightened that my H will show me the door. I think he'll try to forgive me, but he'll be broken.

Reading my posts back today, I can see that what I wrote was heartless and cold. I think it was a mistake for me to post like that to a marriage support forum. I will take the advice to confess and maybe I'll come back if I need help going from there.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

evewasframed said:


> Thanks to all for taking time to post to me. I know that most don't believe me but I didn't come here seeking justification for the affair. I wanted to know whether my marriage could become happy after all we've been through. The few who think it has a slim chance of working say that I need to confess. At first I thought confession could only make things worse, but I've thought about all that you said and I now don't think it could get any worse, and there is a chance that it could get better. So that's what I am going to do. I am not really frightened that my H will show me the door. I think he'll try to forgive me, but he'll be broken.
> 
> Reading my posts back today, I can see that what I wrote was heartless and cold. I think it was a mistake for me to post like that to a marriage support forum. I will take the advice to confess and maybe I'll come back if I need help going from there.


Good for you. This is the right move. I hope you come back ans share the reaction with the group, as it will add to the knowledge and experience of those going through this.

Good luck.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Sigh at your last post...

You're hoping he'll kick you out and problem solved. But you know he'll forgive and you'll stick it out and hope for the best. Not the way to go but it's somewhat of a plan I guess.

Blindfold me and throw that dart and hope I hit the target.

Good luck to you, at least you're going to fess up to your affairs.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> Thanks to all for taking time to post to me. I know that most don't believe me but I didn't come here seeking justification for the affair. I wanted to know whether my marriage could become happy after all we've been through. The few who think it has a slim chance of working say that I need to confess. At first I thought confession could only make things worse, but I've thought about all that you said and I now don't think it could get any worse, and there is a chance that it could get better. So that's what I am going to do. I am not really frightened that my H will show me the door. I think he'll try to forgive me, but he'll be broken.
> 
> Reading my posts back today, I can see that what I wrote was heartless and cold. I think it was a mistake for me to post like that to a marriage support forum. I will take the advice to confess and maybe I'll come back if I need help going from there.


Eve,

I hope you do come back after you confess. And all of us will support you no matter what happens. And tell him everything in one shot if he asks for the details. Do not pause, do not delay and do not sugarcoat any of the details.

Good Luck,

HM64


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## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

I'm praying for you Eve. I hope that your husband is as forgiving as you say. I hope that you are prepared for the long haul....because it will be a long haul.

Take it day by day and if you are truly remorseful for what you have done, that's good. Use it to move forward in your life for the better. Learn to forgive your husband for what he did to you back in the beginning of your marriage (we are all human, and we make mistakes...who are we to judge?) 

I know some people think that once a cheater always a cheater. But it's not true, so don't listen. You can move past this and be a better person, not just for your husband, but for yourself. Come out of the fog and see life for what it is. It's not fantasy, but it can be very rewarding if you do the right things.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Eve, you are in the affair fog. Hopefully, you can find your way out.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

cheatinghubby said:


> Sigh at your last post...
> 
> You're hoping he'll kick you out and problem solved. But you know he'll forgive and you'll stick it out and hope for the best. Not the way to go but it's somewhat of a plan I guess.
> 
> ...


How do you know I'm hoping he'll kick me out? That isn't what I'm hoping at all.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Eve, you are in the affair fog. Hopefully, you can find your way out.


I'm not sure what you mean by that. I'm not going to see OM/MM again, if that's what you mean.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

I've had several helpful and very caring replies. I did not expect them after yesterday and I'm very moved by them. Thank you all who posted so kindly, and especially to the person who said she was praying for me.

Thank you all, everyone who posted. Some posts hurt a lot, but I know everyone was trying to help me by making me see the truth.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> I'm not sure what you mean by that. I'm not going to see OM/MM again, if that's what you mean.


Eve,
"the fog" is what we call the emotions running rampant during an affair, and even after it is discovered. It is the feeling that the OM/OW is ideal, better than the spouse. It's not about whether or not you will see him again. It's about how you FEEL. For instance: your husband's EA. He said he was in love with the OW, right? Would he say that NOW, tho? I bet not. And, once you move past these feelings for the OM, and work toward strengthening your marriage, the feelings will dissipate and you won't be in the affair fog. Did that clear it up any?


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

Thank you - I'm not sure it clear it up. If you truly loved someone, I don't see how you could look back after a while and say you didn't love them. Okay, teenagers might think they're in love and then grow up, but this isn't like that. I have flung my H's EA in his face several times over the years, and during our fights about it he has said he was in love with her. Not he is in love with her, but he was. So if years later you feel that the love was real, even if you never see the person again, that means the fog doesn't go away.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

When he asks you question do not minimize do not hide details, and above all do not have loyalty to your affair partner. If you actually want to try and save your marriage you must have unwavering loyalty to your husband above all others.

So if it comes down to betraying any secrets etc that your OM has told you, or that you feel is special between only you and the OM, give it up. That's you having more loyalty to the affair secrets and the OM, and if there is one thing that will absolutely kill any hope, that's it.


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## Count of Monte Cristo (Mar 21, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> Okay, teenagers might think they're in love and then grow up, but this isn't like that.


Umm, it is just like that.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Eve, as tempting as it is to rail on you, you really have to look at this objectively. There's a HUGE disparity in the actions of your husband and yourself. Moreover there's a huge disparity in the punishment you levied against him. Have no doubt your husband will be completely broken by this.

To echo what Count of Monte Cristo is saying, some here like to believe a person goes through a "fog" when they're having an affair. They magnify everything positive about their affair partner and minimize any faults. Essentially, the affair partner is the ultimate fantasy. But we all know fantasies never hold up to reality. That's why affair relationships only have a 3% success rate, and unfortunately your situation is a testament to this. You were thrown under the bus in the end. That's what always happens. If your husband really loved her, he wouldn't have remained with you and certainly would've taken the affair to a PA.

From a guy's point of view, many need physical connection to really fall in love with a woman, so I doubt your husband did. I also doubt his sincerity when he says he loves her during fights.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ok let's just assume he DID love the OW. 

He ended the affair and worked on the marriage with you.

You said yourself you've thrown said affair in his face repeatedly, all the while betraying him for *over TWO years* (holy cow, that is a LONG time), in fact you're still actively having an affair and have said you basically stay with hubby because the OM told you POINT BLANK he is NOT leaving his wife.

So.............. I am not minimizing your husband's affair at all... not at all... cause it's wrong, way wrong. But you are not doing good either. In fact, the fact you're hiding it and lying in his face every day and throwing HIS past affair in his face when you are doing him dirty every single day is just... totally unfair. 

Anyway, it comes down to this: sh*t or get off the pot. I am sorry to sound crass but you are an adult, a big girl. Women have accountability and take responsibility for their actions. 

You don't want your husband? Then leave him. But don't betray him to his face every single day you wake up smiling at him and later being angry and throwing his affair in his face knowing full well you are doing the EXACT thing right now, and have been for *over TWO years. *


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

evewasframed said:


> Thank you - I'm not sure it clear it up. *If you truly loved someone, I don't see how you could look back after a while and say you didn't love them. *Okay, teenagers might think they're in love and then grow up, but this isn't like that. I have flung my H's EA in his face several times over the years, and during our fights about it he has said he was in love with her. Not he is in love with her, but he was. So if years later you feel that the love was real, even if you never see the person again, that means the fog doesn't go away.



Exactly. You loved(?) other men. It'll always be with you. Your relationship with your husband is not love; it's cruelty.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

evewasframed said:


> How do you know I'm hoping he'll kick me out? That isn't what I'm hoping at all.


It's easier than dealing with the guilt. When I asked for my wife back there was a little part of me that was hoping she would end it quickly and we could just part ways instead of me having to deal with the guilt and pain I just caused.

I was a coward and was sort of hoping for the coward's way out from it all. Cut the cord quick and clean and my hands are free of the filth I created and I can start over new.

My wife was having none of that, she took me back I actually had to own up to what I did.

15 years later and I still suffer for what I did, because I live in fear that one day she'll finally kick me to the curb for what I did. But I bust my behind making sure I give her zero excuse to do it. Ok, truth be told I was half assing my way for the 1st 5 years, then we had kids and it was all about the kids and only the past 5 years have I been busting my behind 150% to make us have a better marriage. And she stuck by me all those years.

And at one point I even thought about divorce because our marriage had really gone down the tubes to us being just roomates. But I made a choice and fought for our marriage tooth and nail to get us to where we are now. And I'll keep fighting tooth and nail to keep making it better. If she leaves one day, I know I gave it 150% and I can live with myself and face my kids with my head held up high.

Either my wife loves me alot or she's gonna clean house once I get ownership of all my parent's assets. I HOPE SHE LOVES ME.

From all your postings you want out from your husband but won't leave until you get someone who will take care of you. Either fight to save your marriage or get out, he deserves better if you won't change. And trust me, you've punished him 100 times over for what he did to you already. So he doesn't owe you anything anymore, you're not entitled to zip, nada, nothing.

BTW, since your husband's affair (since I didn't see anyone ask) how has your husband treated you? Loving, caring, best husband in the world? Or are you 2 like roomates who do the bare minimum to get by every day?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

evewasframed said:


> I'm not sure what you mean by that. I'm not going to see OM/MM again, if that's what you mean.


No, that's not what I mean.

You seem to have the typical foggy thinking of many cheaters. You justify your affairs, you say you never loved your husband (so... why marry him?:scratchhead and the like.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

cheating hubby - thanks for your details. You may be right about wanting my H to end things for me. I am very apathetic about things just now.

He's been working away and came home tonight. I am working up the courage to talk to him and confess in the morning, once the kids are out of the house with their friends.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Answer his questions as openly as you can ever imagine. He is going to be hurting and the questions might be tinged with anger and disgust. I'm gonna counsel you to drop your ego and not to get defensive. They're possibly gonna be brutal questions. But you MUST answer them if you have any desire to truly begin to rebuild your marriage.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> No, that's not what I mean.
> 
> You seem to have the typical foggy thinking of many cheaters. You justify your affairs, you say you never loved your husband (so... why marry him?:scratchhead and the like.


We started dating when I had just left school. I was 18 and he was 21. We got engaged two years later and married two years after that. I think we got married because we were dating and in our small community people married their boyfriend/girlfriend. They didn't leave home and have adventures like kids do today. I loved pre-marriage, doing up a house and such, but I found actually living with him dull almost right away. We had the kids and when the second was a baby, he moved us to another country for work. I did agree to this and then found myself really lonely. I couldn't work there, and felt undervalued as a SAHM. Then came his EA and my justifications for the flings...it's hard to say when things went downhill because they were never really up, but moving abroad was probably the nail in the coffin.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

None of that justifies in any way at all, your serial cheating.


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## evewasframed (Aug 1, 2012)

I posted that to answer Matt's question about why I married him if I never loved him. Some people said that I rewrote history when I said I was never in love with him and I was trying to explain how we got married without passionate love.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Good Luck today Eve.


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