# Wife confused and needs a reason to stay



## sparkside1 (Jun 26, 2010)

My story is long and complicated but basically, I separated from my wife six months ago. We have a 6 month old daughter, a lovely house and nothing to want for. We both loved and still love each other very much. The reason for the separation was that she didn't know if she wanted to remain married. She started an affair soon after I left which ended after 3 months. She then realised what she had and wanted to be with me. She said that she wanted to work on the marriage but didn't want rush back into things. Two weeks ago, I found out that she is seeing someone else. She doesn't know that I know as I haven't confronted her as it wouldn't do any good at this stage. I still love her and just want to save my marriage. She said that she needs to know who she can speak to help her make a decision and only wants me home if it's for the right reasons and is totally confused and thinks that by dating other men she will maybe see that the grass is not greener. It's like she's looking for love in all the wrong places and can't see what she has in front of her. We spend alot of time together alone and with our daughter and anyone would think that there is nothing wrong if they saw us together. The only problem is my wife shows me very little affection and only hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. It feels like I am in limbo land with no garantees that we have a future. My wife becomes very jealous if I speak to a woman that sh doesn't know and it would kill her if I was seeing someone else. I need help guys, how can I get the passion back and make her realise what she has to loose?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

How long were you together before marriage?
How long married?
When did the physical part of the marriage head south?
Who is the primary breadwinner?

Is it possible she likes you more as a friend, than as a husband/lover?




sparkside1 said:


> My story is long and complicated but basically, I separated from my wife six months ago. We have a 6 month old daughter, a lovely house and nothing to want for. We both loved and still love each other very much. The reason for the separation was that she didn't know if she wanted to remain married. She started an affair soon after I left which ended after 3 months. She then realised what she had and wanted to be with me. She said that she wanted to work on the marriage but didn't want rush back into things. Two weeks ago, I found out that she is seeing someone else. She doesn't know that I know as I haven't confronted her as it wouldn't do any good at this stage. I still love her and just want to save my marriage. She said that she needs to know who she can speak to help her make a decision and only wants me home if it's for the right reasons and is totally confused and thinks that by dating other men she will maybe see that the grass is not greener. It's like she's looking for love in all the wrong places and can't see what she has in front of her. We spend alot of time together alone and with our daughter and anyone would think that there is nothing wrong if they saw us together. The only problem is my wife shows me very little affection and only hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. It feels like I am in limbo land with no garantees that we have a future. My wife becomes very jealous if I speak to a woman that sh doesn't know and it would kill her if I was seeing someone else. I need help guys, how can I get the passion back and make her realise what she has to loose?


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

SS1 seems like nothings changed so why did you start a new thread?

Bob




sparkside1 said:


> My story is long and complicated but basically, I separated from my wife six months ago. We have a 6 month old daughter, a lovely house and nothing to want for. We both loved and still love each other very much. The reason for the separation was that she didn't know if she wanted to remain married. She started an affair soon after I left which ended after 3 months. She then realised what she had and wanted to be with me. She said that she wanted to work on the marriage but didn't want rush back into things. Two weeks ago, I found out that she is seeing someone else. She doesn't know that I know as I haven't confronted her as it wouldn't do any good at this stage. I still love her and just want to save my marriage. She said that she needs to know who she can speak to help her make a decision and only wants me home if it's for the right reasons and is totally confused and thinks that by dating other men she will maybe see that the grass is not greener. It's like she's looking for love in all the wrong places and can't see what she has in front of her. We spend alot of time together alone and with our daughter and anyone would think that there is nothing wrong if they saw us together. The only problem is my wife shows me very little affection and only hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. It feels like I am in limbo land with no garantees that we have a future. My wife becomes very jealous if I speak to a woman that sh doesn't know and it would kill her if I was seeing someone else. I need help guys, how can I get the passion back and make her realise what she has to loose?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Sparkside,

She's seen at least two other people but she would freak if you did?
I don't know if you want to keep her or not, but y'all do have a baby to consider. I think the most likely route to bringing her back around (if that's what you want) is for you to start dating. Right now, she has no competition and feels she has all the time in the world to get her head screwed on straight. If someone starts dragging her safety net away, it might get her off the trapeze.


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## CodeNameBob (Jun 3, 2010)

AFEH said:


> SS1 seems like nothings changed so why did you start a new thread?
> 
> Bob


I totally agree with Bob. Are you looking to retell the story in a manner that you will get different advice? Do you want different advice? Would you loke everyone to lie to you? Including teh attorney you met a few days ago?

How about you answer those questions, so evryone can tell you what you want to hear and help you create a perfect world.

I am sorry for sounding bitter or being bitter, but you are not dealing with anything or showing any appreciation for the support you have been given here.


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