# I'm losing it...can't hang on



## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

38 years of depression because of an unfaithful wife. Tried to committ suicide once. Doing dissolution papers but wife is dragging her feet on this. I have no one to talk to. Called suicide prevention and they gave me a number to a clinic. Went there and it was so busy they didn't have time for me the case worker said comeback. My 3 adult children don't want to talk to me/ Please...I am a backslidden preacher afraid of hell but I want to die tonight. God can't even move in this situation.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Are you okay?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> Are you okay?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


no


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Bartimaus, please take some deep breathes. And pray like you never have before. Even if you are backslidden, you know that God can help you through this. You know that he is faithful. You know that he will never give you more than you can handle. Please draw strength from him who can give you exactly what you need.


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

marksaysay said:


> Bartimaus, please take some deep breathes. And pray like you never have before. Even if you are backslidden, you know that God can help you through this. You know that he is faithful. You know that he will never give you more than you can handle. Please draw strength from him who can give you exactly what you need.


No Mark, he gave me this Gomer and she never suffers because there are a million *****mongers for her to choose from to draw strength. While I sit at home all alone and even my own family puts me off. All that ever happens is me going insane with hurt when she leaves.I have no one to talk to and God has allowed this. It's me that pays for her sins while she is doing fine with the support she has from those she works with. She is a cheating lier and it'sd always me that suffers and hurts. Don't talk to me of God.it seems he condones her and lets this enormous pain come upon me. He must like her cheating on me and lieing to me and leaving me.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

I know your pain, Bartimaus. My wife is a cheater, too. I hurt for a long time until I realized I couldn't change her or her actions. The only thing I could change was how I dealt with it. 

By the way, He doesn't condone her actions and she will pay sooner or later. You can't change her. But you can change you and what you let trouble you. 

And I'm won't apologize for talking of God. He's the one who's helped me deal with my cheating wife. He can do the same for you.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Bartimaus, you don't have to divorce your wife, but you need to seperate yourself from the drama that surrounds her infidelity. You need to leave. You can't continue to subject yourself to the heartache her adultery is causing you. Get away from her. Your sanity and life are at stake.


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

I can't change, God helps me when I am in church but then the next day he is gone. I am losing faith.....all this 'God will help you' is just a big fairytale. Or more than likely he takes pleasure in us hurting and suffering. It pleased him to bruise Jesus and it pleases him to see my wife do me wrong. He must delight in his children being hurt. He has power to stop anything and power to do anything at any second of the day but he doesn't. It's always the good or the faithful that suffers. While our little whoring wives go on with their ways and are blessed of God. Don't tell me or the Prophet Joel that God doesn't like to do his own evil!


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

He doesn't MAKE someone choose good. He gives them the choice. 

You can change and God is not gone. The thing is, what you and I or anybody else has to go through never catches him by surprise. He knows your pain. HE KNOWS! 

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we deal with what happens. 

Trust me when I say this, the sooner you separate yourself from your wife and her actions, the sooner you can start to heal. It hurts. I KNOW. But you can't change her, only how you deal with it. Get away from her so you can start to heal. Go stay with friends, family, or someone. You don't need to be around her.


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## Ello1012 (Oct 26, 2011)

Listen dude their are only 1 or 2 or Many things you can do about this. first of, Make sure you understand your life is worth living, even if it's being ruined by the KEY WORD: UNFAITHFUL Wife..Takes a smart man to actually understand this concept and the best way to deal with it, is to remove the cancer. Doesn't God say that once some one has been unfaithful, the marriage contract between him and her in the name of the 1 and only have been cancelled and the person who was faithful has every right to remarry a better woman. The way I see it is that I've dwelled in this world of scrutiny and unexsting self loathing pressure of pain and pleasure. their is nothing great that comes out of it, except you're lucky, you have learned from this experience you can mentaly pass this on as knowledge to a fellow husband and wife of some sort of nature. Or you can go around and influence people to continue and have a great relationship with their family Husband and Wife who are faithful God willing, which i hope you will one day find a new Woman. God is Merciful you should be merciful on her account, but never folly on her inexcusable betrayal of valuable moral and certain CONTRACT. It was her choice its not even the person she is having the affiars with choice, he's a learning man, only time he is at fault is if he is married too and is having an affair on his wife. There-for she and he are at fault because they are Married and under contract by law to uphold their family ties and relationship. the only thing I can say is..understand this difference..the difference of doing the right thing and the difference of falling and being the worst type of person. suicide has never help will never help, and that wont stop her from seeing that guy after you're dead. matter of fact I can't tell the future she might be doing his friends while she's at it. best thing you can do is move on, get the Divorce and let your Boys/ Children see you as the example, of a real man who stood by his values morals and continued on with his life, even if people think what this Unfaithful Woman of yours is doing can't be rediculled rathor it's fun? Who cares a person has a heart deal with it the right way so your heart can Grow God willing,a nd progress. Move on, you're ahead of her, as a matter of fact she's probably the most guilty and if she doesnt continue having this affair, she will not know what to do with her life anymore I'm sure, God can only help her now, and God willing, if you had an affair first, it was your fault. If not, then she has ruined your/her relationship and her/your principle family, but not you sir (God willing your children see the fault in this and dont follow the wrong footsteps God willing oklol)!. Good day!


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## Bartimaus (Oct 15, 2011)

It's difficult for me when depressed bad over this to not turn to alcohol. The one thing I know,is no matter what I do I need to keep going to church. While in church I ask God to forgive me and because the church is praying for me God does help me.
Years ago I drank alot and have a tendency to turn to alcohol. God saved me from that and I left all fleshly vices cold turkey. 
God cleaned me up and made me (he made me and not I) by his grace and strength someone he put an anointing on. But the marriage has been rocky from the start,38 years ago. 
I am feeling much better the last few days and can feel Gods help. But after 38 years with the same woman and 3 children and 7 grandchildren it's not easy people. And it keeps playing over and over in my mind of hearing her with my own ears at her work put out a 'comeon' type flirt with a male co-worker as I walked up behind them. Then all the previous years things she has done become like a scar that has been opened up afresh.
I apologise for the things I said earlier in this thread. I was feeling very bad and hurting very bad.


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## Separated79 (May 28, 2011)

You are a preacher yeah,and you teach god's word....

Watch a movie about passion of christ and see how cruel people are to him....condenmed and hurt him in unbelievable way...

But he did take it to save the human of it's sin...

Please don't lose your faith even some of his disciple loses their faith....hang on to it....if you give up on your life...
Then you will not see his work...

Let Go and Let God...


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