# STBXW still wants to have sex



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

I've been sleeping in a different room for about 4 months now since telling my wife I want a divorce. We had not been intimate for about 2 months before that and certainly weren't going after each other these past 4 months. Everything is nice and amicable right now and we are just waiting for summer when the kids are out of school to move her out and start a visitation schedule. Anyways, I'm laying in bed saturday morning (in my birthday suit as usual lol) and she comes into the room. She's standing next to the bed and asks "do you still like me?" I answer yes, I still like you. She's shifting her weight back and forth and I can tell from her body language what's coming next. "Do you miss having sex?". Me: "Well, of course I miss having sex but I'd be afraid of confusing things right now. To be honest I wouldn't want you getting your hopes up that it would change things between us or make me change my mind about the divorce." her: "well I understand that and I know it isn't but I would be interested if you would just treat me nice like you would someone your dating." By this time, under the covers, I've started growing a massive erection. Just the mind thinking that something would finally happen after six months is too much for the body to resist. me: "I dont' think I've been treating you bad personally, other than the obvious divorce part. I wouldn't mind trying it but if you started having trouble separating your feelings we would need to stop." her: "ok, well, I have to go get ready to meet my friend. you remember it's your weekend with the kids right?". Now I'm thinking, great, she hasn't changed a bit. So I pull the covers aside and show her this raging boner I have and ask "are you sure you don't want to start now?" She's kind of dancing in place like when you have to pee bad, reaches out for it then pulls her hand back and says "oh i miss it...." in kind of a whiney little voice. Then she just says she can't right now because she has to get ready and leaves. 

yep, she hasn't changed a bit.. lol... There's a jim carrey movie called Fun with **** and Jane. in there's a scene where him and his wife are getting excited and starting to fool around and she goes "we should have sex........on saturday". lol that's what it's like.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

You should've just got up and finished the job yourself. That's what she was asking for. To be softly sexually violated.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

synthetic said:


> You should've just got up and finished the job yourself. That's what she was asking for. To be softly sexually violated.


I never "started"...lol...just showed it to her to let her know I was ready to go. I took care of it after she left the room.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

What a piece of work. She did that intentionally just to mess with you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

I have to wonder if she is so totally clueless about men... humans actually... that she just plain didn't understand what a massive affront that was. Had she slapped you across the face I don't think I'd see it much differently. Does she see that also? In other words, is this cold-hearted, cynical, emotional/sexual manipulation or is it just plain social dysfunction?


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

I told her it sounded like a friends with benefits situation and she said she always thought girls like that were ****s. I really think it's just the heavy catholic sexual repression at work. She has needs but she doesn't know how to get them satisfied.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Jeff/BC said:


> I have to wonder if she is so totally clueless about men... humans actually... that she just plain didn't understand what a massive affront that was. Had she slapped you across the face I don't think I'd see it much differently. Does she see that also? In other words, is this cold-hearted, cynical, emotional/sexual manipulation or is it just plain social dysfunction?


Dysfunction is most likely the culprit. And she is definitely clueless about how to keep a man happy.....


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

one_strange_otter said:


> Dysfunction is most likely the culprit.


That's kind of tragic then. Had you said she was coldly manipulative the answer is obvious and simple. But both she and you are going to lose a marriage over... well... some combination of baggage and ignorance. That's just sad.

Clearly I would advise against following through on this business of divorcees with benefits. Honestly, even as I type that it sounds like a dumb idea and given how this played out it seems completely not worth it.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Just to update, she hasn't asked about it since. And I haven't brought up the subject either. Lol....must have been an impulse thought she had or something.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jayb (Mar 6, 2012)

one_strange_otter said:


> Just to update, she hasn't asked about it since. And I haven't brought up the subject either. Lol....must have been an impulse thought she had or something.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yesterday I met my stbxw for lunch and asked her if she wanted to do something crazy? Response was nervous laughing and then a no. However, it sure was different than any recent request I've made in the past few years....


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

one_strange_otter said:


> Just to update, she hasn't asked about it since. And I haven't brought up the subject either. Lol....must have been an impulse thought she had or something.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We've already established that she'd emotionally broken.

I'm sure if you pursue it, you can get some.

I'm not certain it's the right thing to do.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

Conrad said:


> We've already established that she'd emotionally broken.
> 
> I'm sure if you pursue it, you can get some.
> 
> I'm not certain it's the right thing to do.




Not to worry dude. Just finished having an argument about this Easter weekend. That door is officially closed.


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