# A question about the stages of grief?



## Soveryalone (Jul 19, 2013)

So I am 2 months out of a 12 year relationship that sort of fizzled a few years back ? I am having trouble actually figuring out what stage of grief I am at . Some people have heard my entire story and after reading some posts , immediately say I am still in the first stage of grief denial , but my question is , this , I feel like after the first month I started having ALOT of trouble sleeping and became extremely depressed , the last couple weeks I have noticed at night sleep still isn't exactly easy but my mind seems to be more calm, and generally by the end of the day , evening into night I am actually feeling hardly any depression or anxiety. Maybe I am just having a good few minutes right now but I am wondering if its possible for someone to just bypass the "anger "stage. 

Yes my ex fiancé began an EA with someone I used to know vaguely , but I honestly and truly am not angry at her, angry at some of the things she has said ad slightly about how she handled the whole thing, but all and all I genuinely feel at peace , for right now anyway. I am just trying to get to the end goal of acceptance I suppose , and get there quickly as possible so I can move forward in life. , day to day I am pretty bored, I am living alone in a new place so don't have any friends to be around, I do go for walks, I do try to eat well , I do read and write quite a bit. I have my moments when I think about her and for the most part they are just fleeting memories and from time to time I get sad. But its not like I am sitting here crying my eyes out nonstop . I can listen to our favorite song while looking at a photo of her and I and honestly , I am not phased. any people with a similar experience ? Any people with a great deal of knowledge about the stages of grief?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I've been through the 5 phases of grief. 

You can't bypass anger in this process but you can avoid it by staying stuck in another level.

Anger doesn't mean you'll necessarily be angry at your Ex. You might be angry with yourself. Angry with God. Or you might displace your anger and take it out on someone innocent (that's what I did).


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

I doubt your over the grief process after the breakup of a 12 yr relationship - you seem to be taking a rational approach to it - thinking and analyzjng what's going on - you're aware what to look for in yourself and that's a good thing. Just don't be surprised if the anger or some other random emotion hits you out of nowhere - that does happen. 
You know- maybe you had been mentally moving on before you found out about her ea?


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