# Desperate for advice



## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

Read my previous thread to see what a horrible person I am. 


Ok in previous thread I delved a little bit into my eye issues. Basically my eye has gotten much worse the past couple of months. I'm going insane. It's falling apart from the inside and I can see the peices floating around all the time. I want to get surgery to have this fixed. My husband wants me to just live with it because we have a 5k deductible we have not met. Also I'm giving birth in a few weeks. We are going to be majorly in debt. I have to get this surgery if I want to be happy. There is no way around it. He does not want me to get it.

There is a lot of other financial issues we cannot agree on. I am thinking about going to live with my mom. I want to somehow completely separate our finances. I want to get my own finances and insurance and everything. But we still want to remain married in case he passes I will still get his retirement and the house and all that jazzz . We also want to make medical decisions for eachother if needed. 

So I'm wondering what legal separation means? Nobody is able to explain it to me. Even google doesn't do a good job. Say I lived with my mom and I wanted to apply for Medicaid to get my eye surgery....would I hve to put his income down even if we were legally separated? 

Also I made a consultation appointment with a lawyer to get some answers for next Tuesday. When I made that appointment I found out that he has already been to that same lawyer months ago to initiate divorce which he didn't go through with. So I'm very hurt about that.

I'm so confused.


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## NickyT (Aug 14, 2017)

This is something you definitely have to speak to an attorney about. Not all states have a legal separation status (PA for one). Good luck.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

...


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Do you also suffer from migraine headaches?


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## alliexoxo (Mar 12, 2018)

SunCMars said:


> Do you also suffer from migraine headaches?




Nope


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Legal separation may not even exist in your state but, where it does, it’s often used as a sort of point of demarcation to denote that, as of the date of legal separation, neither of you is responsible for the other’s financial decisions, can access each other’s financial information, etc. It might also mean that you can’t make medical decisions for each other. Probably depends on what you choose to put in the agreement.

It’s used as a sort of midway point in states that have crazy requirements for divorce (waiting a year or more after filing, living apart for a year or more, etc).


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

If you have a 5K deductible is everything covered 100% after that? Seeing that you are about to have a baby which means medical expenses are going to eat up the 5K deductible why not have the surgery during this same year? 

As for the rest of the stuff a Last Will and Testament, a Living Will and a Durable power of Attorney should cover all that. Those documents allow you to select the executor of your estate, beneficiaries, and who can make legal and medical decisions for you if you become incapacitated. The executor and beneficiaries can be anyone you chose, doesn't need to be your spouse, so if you separate or divorce you can still chose each other, or you can chose the kids, or the neighbor, or anyone you are comfortable with.

Also just so you know things like retirements, bank accounts, and life insurance should already have beneficiaries named, if not you should take care of that.

Speak with an attorney who specializes in estate planning, probably cost less than $750 to get all the legal papers drawn and filed.


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