# Is scheduling sex a turn-off for men?



## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

I suggested this to my husband, knowing he wanted to have sex more often, and his reaction was negative.

I realize it takes away from the 'spontaneity' but I just thought it would help me if I knew that morning to shave closely in the shower, not stay late at work, that sort of thing.

Thoughts?


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

If both are you are so busy then I would say no. I think if you change the wording around a little you can get the same results. Instead of saying on Sat at 9 we will have sex. Send flirty texts all day. Things like that work, that we are desired and not scheduled.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

That makes sense- scheduling without scheduling.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

pink_lady said:


> I suggested this to my husband, knowing he wanted to have sex more often, and his reaction was negative.
> 
> I realize it takes away from the 'spontaneity' but I just thought it would help me if I knew that morning to shave closely in the shower, not stay late at work, that sort of thing.
> 
> Thoughts?


Never scheduled a particular day of the week, but we have scheduled when I started to initiate and she was not into, so we agreed that to connect on the next day. That was never a turn-off for me.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I hate it when my wife tells me, we will have sex later after her tv show or when she's off the phone, laptop, etc. She likes to know the time, day.

I love to be random, spontaneous, no time, no day, could be in the middle of the night when I'm totally asleep, anywhere, anyplace, making it fun, not boring and predictable.


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## Rough Patch Sewing (Apr 18, 2011)

It's about being intentional. If it is treated like a chore or obligation, then yeah... It is a turn off. 

If it is scheduled as a way to make the magic happen, then for me and a lot of other married couples I bet... it would be great thing!


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My husbnad would not like scheduled at all either, It usually has to be totally spontaneous for him. He likes to catch me by suprise and interupt what i'm doing. Once we were biulding a fence, He went to the shed to look for some tools "though I thought" then called me in to help him find something, which was just to get me into the shed cause he wanted to have sex in the shed. Another time we were moving and he said he needed help packing our bathroom. He called me into the bathroom and asked what my vibrator was, so then we had sex in the bathroom


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I would suggest you schedule a date night regularly. It might or might not turn into more, but the date itself is really what you need.

My wife is only capable of scheduled sex due to her childhood stuff. I understand why we are on a schedule and I think the schedule is good from the standpoint of taking away excuses. Oh, there's a cool old movie on tv! Sorry, record it to watch some other time.

The bad part is the schedule is the only time it ever happens. Never on a Tuesday, never when there is a surprise afternoon we're both home and the kids are all away. If your husband thinks the only time he's going to get sex is when it is on the schedule he might start to think he is just one more obligation you are ticking off your list.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Not really a turn-off _per se_, more especially if the two of you have diverse work schedules, but I totally agree that flirty texts sent to each other would definitely add to things later!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Yes it is, for me anyways, full stop.


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## LdyVenus (Dec 1, 2012)

it can also cause problems if it's expected on a certain schedule and you say no.


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## Jack I (Nov 23, 2012)

pink_lady said:


> I suggested this to my husband, knowing he wanted to have sex more often, and his reaction was negative.
> 
> I realize it takes away from the 'spontaneity' but I just thought it would help me if I knew that morning to shave closely in the shower, not stay late at work, that sort of thing.
> 
> Thoughts?


Hmmm...This wouldn't bother me in the least.If my wife says sex on Mondays,Wednesdays,and Saturdays at 9:00,then so be it.Did your husband give an explanation as to why he didn't like the idea?


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

LdyVenus said:


> it can also cause problems if it's expected on a certain schedule and you say no.


This is what I was thinking. If you're trying to schedule sex to ka esure your husband is being satisfied, I applaud you. You must, however make sure to have a high fulfillment rate. If you "promise" sex on a certain date and time and then get tired/busy/etc. it is likely to have a very negative effect.

Otherwise, I see no real problem with the practice. In fact, I would see it as a very encouraging effort that my wife was making to meet my needs.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

We always schedule sex. Usually at night around 1am when the kid is asleep. I believe scheduling is very important to prevent unrealistic expectations.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Prove him wrong. Schedule it and show up enthusiastic - so much so that he'll wish you'd penciled him in years ago.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Scheduling sex is the same as making a date. When people are single they have no problem with making dates and the sex is usually hot. 

Works in marriage as well.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I say you can schedule,but do not just have sex on the scheduled days only[Suprise him] on off scheduled days.Like another poster said if you do schedule it make sure it happens even if you are tired or else he will be upset.,it could even just be a bj/hj nice ans senual.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Also.... make it special. Since you take the time to schedule it, then make it to his benefit (well, yours too) by turning off phones, lighting candles, a bubble bath together, a picnic on the frontroom floor, sensuous food, .... whatever floats your boat.


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## Matt1720 (May 7, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Scheduling sex is the same as making a date. When people are single they have no problem with making dates and the sex is usually hot.
> 
> Works in marriage as well.


I agree.

When you're dating, and maybe you haven't seen each other in a few days, there's usually no question that you'll be having sex. 

Why the big change?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Let's see. Which is more of a turn on? Checking an item off the to do list? Or being married to a woman who actually desires me? I'll think about it and get back to you.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

I think it can go either way. When we were having sex regularly, my wife and I had a set night,it was nice at first. Considering at the time I felt like she was not making time for me. However, she eventually changed the day to an inconvenient time and day of the week for me, but that was simply a product of our schedules, not her fault or mine.
The "lack of" was later and unrelated, but I saw it coming.
I would have no problem with a date/potential night again


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> Not really a turn-off _per se_, more especially if the two of you have diverse work schedules, but I totally agree that flirty texts sent to each other would definitely add to things later!



For us, it is understood that Mondays are a very good time for "things to happen". Our son is in school, and I usually don't have to work outside the home on Mondays. 

She and I joke with each other about being "ready for anything" on Monday's....clean shaven, sexy smelling lotion, flirty panties, t-shirt with no bra, satin sheets sprinkled with baby powder, heels....etc,etc... It is kind of fun to look forward to what "might" happen on this day....but there is no pressure. 

I find that our sex is usually best in the mornings when we have lots of energy...we open all of the blinds and love the natural sunlight filling our bedroom. I personally love to see her naked body in the sunlight. We both put a little extra effort into the little details on Mondays, and it is a good way to start off our week. 

PS: it is always interesting to see how my wife answers the door on Monday's when UPS or FedEx is making deliveries. It probably makes their day as well. 

For the rest of the week, sex is totally spontaneous.


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## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

People are busy. I am working on a schedule with my wife. I want to make it more of a firm schedule. I think allowing flexibility for spontaneity is a nice idea but too much flexibility may cause the sex to be pushed back too often and possibly forgotten about. The lead up during the day for me is a turn on. We send flirty texts. Its just nice to know sex is available. For some that requires more structure and planning.


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## StargateFan (Nov 19, 2012)

Agast84 said:


> I think it can go either way. When we were having sex regularly, my wife and I had a set night,it was nice at first. Considering at the time I felt like she was not making time for me. However, she eventually changed the day to an *incontinent* time and day of the week for me, but that was simply a product of our schedules, not her fault or mine.
> The "lack of" was later and unrelated, but I saw it coming.
> I would have no problem with a date/potential night again


:rofl: at least she is kinky.:rofl:

On a serious note. With kids you almost have to schedule some in there. The problem is it devolves into only on those scheduled times and if there is a cancellation, you don't have the option of flying on another airline. Overbooking could help but that never happens. 

We have tried putting a movie in or handing them our iPads and telling them mommy and daddy need to take a nap and not disturb us. When we do that they always decide they want to play in their rooms. Little voyeurs.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I Notice The Details said:


> satin sheets sprinkled with baby powder


How do you get any traction at all?


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Yes
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

StargateFan said:


> :rofl: at least she is kinky.:rofl:
> 
> On a serious note. With kids you almost have to schedule some in there. The problem is it devolves into only on those scheduled times and if there is a cancellation, you don't have the option of flying on another airline. Overbooking could help but that never happens.
> 
> We have tried putting a movie in or handing them our iPads and telling them mommy and daddy need to take a nap and not disturb us. When we do that they always decide they want to play in their rooms. Little voyeurs.


Haha!!! and that is why agast should quadruple check his posts after 1am. that is in need of editing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Thor said:


> How do you get any traction at all?


She loves the smell of fresh baby powder..it is a turn on for her....but traction is easier with cotton sheets and baby powder. I agree. 

Oftentimes she will hold on to the headboard...and sometimes we move to the carpeted floor if we are getting really adventurous.


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