# Husband of an angry unhappy wife..advice wanted



## Unhappyman (Oct 28, 2017)

Hi

I'm the husband of an angry woman who just doesn't seem to love me, and I don't know what to do.

We've been married 8 years, and have two kids in private school (both doing well). We got together very quickly (too quickly?) and married after she became pregnant.

On the surface, we're fortunate - have a nice house in a nice area, kids in good schools, holidays etc. But my wife has anger issues - she gets mad and yells really loudly at the least little thing (e.g. If I've left washing in the machine) - so loudly it annoys the neighbours, and really stresses me out. I believe she uses yelling as a form of stress release. She also yells at the kids if they misbehave, really loudly, sometimes reducing them to tears. I've asked her to explore her anger with a therapist, or discuss it with me, but she flat out refuses - it must be down to me leaving the washing in the machine (or whatever), can't be anything from her past in her mind..

She also displays no affection for me. She almost never sleeps in the same room as me, and claims I disgust her - she says I'm scruffy, I smell bad, in fat and unattractive. I make efforts with my appearance (my job involves dealing with clients and I keep myself smart) and I'm not overweight on BMI scale but it doesn't seem to matter to her. She is however very affectionate with the kids (despite yelling at them) - this upsets me since I want hugs from time to time, and she's clearly capable of being affectionate. Part of me suspects she wanted me simply to have kids.

She also complains (despite the fact I earn 85% of our money, and try really hard at work) that I'm unsuccessful and don't earn enough - she compares us to other couples with bigger houses, better cars etc. She's also Facebook friends with one such dad, who she claims to get on well with - despite telling me it would be inappropriate for me to be Facebook friends with mums from our school - "dads must stick to other dads".

I'm really at a loss. I'd like to leave her, but if we split up, we'd have to sell the house, the kids wouldn't be in private school etc (as I say they're doing very well) and it would make her life, and the kids' lives, a lot harder. Possibly we could split when our youngest is 18, but that's a long time.

Failing that, I'd like to get her to deal with her anger, and accept me more as a husband, but she's stubborn and shows no sign of contemplating either. 

Advice welcome please..I can't see an easy way forwards..


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## Scruffyman (Oct 28, 2017)

There are always two sides in the story!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

If cars and houses and schools mean more to you than your own sanity, dignity and well being, then I have nothing to offer you. 

I do have concerns about your children though. You are role modeling to them that women are mean, abusive and calculating creatures that bully and badger and ridicule men and that men are there to serve them and bring home money for them so they can acquire more material objects and status symbols.

And you are role modeling to them that men are weak, spineless, oppressed, emasculated cowards that are also so obsessed with material items that they allow themselves to be abused and disrespected because they fear change and fear having to consult a realitor to put a house on the market. 

This is a very toxic and damaging and perhaps even abusive environment for children to be in. 

Your cowardice and weakness is harming your children.


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## Scruffyman (Oct 28, 2017)

Don’t judge people from artificial stories. You didn’t know the background of this man! You don’t know he was laid off and blamed his hard working wife for so many years, he said so much nasty things to his wife such as he had never wanted her. He married to her because of she could be her potential client . You didn’t know the man sleeping in bed with his jeans on, with his dirty cloths that had been on public transport all day. you didn’t know the wife managed all the building work , extension work, kids school runs and the wife also works. The wife also contributed a big lump sum from her premarridge saving to do the house building work, yes the wife wants a new car given being the main driver. To replace a car that is 11 Years Old, this is not something outrageous! 
you didnt know how much he had praised the kids at home in terms of their confidence , and how much they have achieved in school. 

You didn’t know this man had always wanted sex in the morning just being pure selfish purpose depsite the wife needed to get kids ready. 

You didn’t know the wife had 44 hours labour following by an emergency c section with her first baby, she couldn’t physically do breastfeeding. The only thing this man said was the wife was going to kill the baby by drinking formula, he didn’t care about the emotion, didn’t care about physical strength, but to him any baby is going to be stupid if not breastfed. 

You didn't know this men used to complain kids often jumped into his bed and disturbed his sleep quality , wife moved to kids bed initially for this purpose. 

Yes this is from an insider , I am telling you all these articles are nonsense, you guys have too much free time. Go back to spend time with your wife or your kids instead of staying on this website and being like “man”.


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## GatorXP (Oct 1, 2017)

Scruffyman said:


> Don’t judge people from artificial stories. You didn’t know the background of this man! You don’t know he was laid off and blamed his hard working wife for so many years, he said so much nasty things to his wife such as he had never wanted her. He married to her because of she could be her potential client . You didn’t know the man sleeping in bed with his jeans on, with his dirty cloths that had been on public transport all day. you didn’t know the wife managed all the building work , extension work, kids school runs and the wife also works. The wife also contributed a big lump sum from her premarridge saving to do the house building work, yes the wife wants a new car given being the main driver. To replace a car that is 11 Years Old, this is not something outrageous!
> you didnt know how much he had praised the kids at home in terms of their confidence , and how much they have achieved in school.
> 
> You didn’t know this man had always wanted sex in the morning just being pure selfish purpose depsite the wife needed to get kids ready.
> ...


Looks like someone doesn't know how to secure their phone and someone else as their own issues 

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk


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## Scruffyman (Oct 28, 2017)

Someone told someone he published!


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## GatorXP (Oct 1, 2017)

Scruffyman said:


> Someone told someone he published!


You have the opportunity to make this a very positive thing...or you can grab pitchforks a torches...your choice.

No party is innocent here.

Probably the most open communication that has occurred in years from either party..

Welcome to TAM

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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

And that folks is the other side...
From the other party...

From what is written by two.

One is scruffy and stinks.
The other has a temper, and never blinks.

It sounds like you are mean.
And him?
Should be heard and not seen.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Scruffyman said:


> There are always two sides in the story!


Ain't that the truth!

So are you the OP's spouse? 

If not can you send her here to post her side of the story? 

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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Check the phone bill.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Yep my bet is she is cheating.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Scruffyman said:


> Don’t judge people from artificial stories. You didn’t know the background of this man!
> 
> Yes this is from an insider , I am telling you all these articles are nonsense, you guys have too much free time. Go back to spend time with your wife or your kids instead of staying on this website and being like “man”.


We can only respond to what is posted. Often, we only get one side. People come here to vent, complain, ask for advice, whatever. We are strangers out in cyberspace. We give our opinions. Nobody has to take the advice or respect the opinions. 

Uh, yeah, I DO have a life. I don't "stay" on this website, although I generally check in and read for about fifteen minutes a day. I have no clue what "being like 'man'" even means. I'm a woman, so I'm not "being" like a man.

You have given your side of the story. I certainly respect your right to give your insights into what is happening. But you do sound angry. Is the anger justified? It may very well be. But, as I said, we can only respond to what is written. JMO.


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## GatorXP (Oct 1, 2017)

Prodigal said:


> We can only respond to what is posted. Often, we only get one side. People come here to vent, complain, ask for advice, whatever. We are strangers out in cyberspace. We give our opinions. Nobody has to take the advice or respect the opinions.
> 
> Uh, yeah, I DO have a life. I don't "stay" on this website, although I generally check in and read for about fifteen minutes a day. I have no clue what "being like 'man'" even means. I'm a woman, so I'm not "being" like a man.
> 
> You have given your side of the story. I certainly respect your right to give your insights into what is happening. But you do sound angry. Is the anger justified? It may very well be. But, as I said, we can only respond to what is written. JMO.


As far as I can tell from my experience and what a can figure... Being like "a man" means conforming to what someone else believes and has preconceived your actions should be based on your gender 

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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

If both parties really are here, then each of you: "why did you marry the other? What made you want to spend your life wit them? Has that changed?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Lord help us, Oh please.

Not another man with two him's....or a him and a she.

Not another violent Martian, within a good mortal so bound, not free.

One thinking and typing. The other?

Throwing darts and barbs at Thee.
Maybe a Sock Puppet, I have three.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

chillymorn69 said:


> Yep my bet is she is cheating.


Ah, yes!
Poke the she-bear.

Till she lashes out.
Till she is gone.

@Unhappyman
Where art thou?

Has she tied you to the bedstead?
Till she lashes out.
Her arms tires.
Till the whipped 'Cat o Nine Tails' break, burst open.

And OP is sent screaming, naked down the road, teared and fluff feathered.


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