# Feel like marriage is failing



## TrophyWife (Oct 23, 2013)

Hubs & I have been married for 9 years. The 1st time we had sex - it was horrible, its gotten slightly better. I feel he puts no effort into pleasing me. He never performs oral even though I give it to him frequently. He does not sleep in bed with me & has not for the past 5 years, he'd rather sleep on the couch. Even when we have sex, when we are done he goes downstairs and sleeps on the couch. It seems like every other aspect of our marriage is great, hes a good friend and great father to our son. We are lacking passion & romance. How do I get it back? Is it to late??


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

TrophyWife said:


> We are lacking passion & romance. How do I get it back? Is it to late??


More info needed to answer these questions. Why is he sleeping on the couch? Him saying he'd "rather sleep on the couch" is not a valid answer. He has to have a reason. Married people generally sleep with each other.

Does he know that you think sex with him was horrible in the beginning (and only marginally better now)?


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

kinda sounding like a troller...


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## TrophyWife (Oct 23, 2013)

Hubs states he sleeps downstairs bcuz he likes his space, but we have a king size bed. We have talked about it and he knows it upsets me. I feel it has killed our intimacy. He has turned into my room mate. I've never told him I think our sex is BLAH. I'm not a cold hearted gal & I think that's how I would sound if I brought that to his attention.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

MC would be a good place to start. A safe place where you can open up. See if he would be willing to go with you to an adult toy store and you can pick out things together might help turn things around also.
You should think about changing that user name.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

TrophyWife said:


> Hubs states he sleeps downstairs bcuz he likes his space, but we have a king size bed. We have talked about it and he knows it upsets me. I feel it has killed our intimacy. He has turned into my room mate. I've never told him I think our sex is BLAH. I'm not a cold hearted gal & I think that's how I would sound if I brought that to his attention.


What are your ages? Your husband sounds like his head needs a date with a huge clue-bat.

It's not cold-hearted to let him know he's not meeting your needs. Conversely, it IS cold-hearted for him to refuse to meet yours. He sounds extremely selfish to me.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

I assume he is sleeping on a couch with a sofa bed. Otherwise the excuse of him wanting his space would be ludicrous at best. 

The only way to fix bad sex or a lazy lover is to speak up about it. It was very hard for my wife to hear that from me, but after some hard conversations and a lot of crying, the sex is off the chart better. 

Ray
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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