# Tattoos



## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

First off, I mean no offense to anyone who has or loves tattoos, on themselves or others.

For me however, I really find them somewhat disgusting. On myself, on others, etc. I'm a man, so I don't care much about seeing tattoos on other men, but when I see them on women (attractive or otherwise) all I can imagine is how much better they might look if they hadn't scarred their body in such a way. Even a tattoo of a design that I might otherwise find really slick, you might be able to get me to say, "Yeah that's a really cool design, I like it," but it's still a tattoo! I just really can't figure them out, or why anyone would remotely want one.

I'm not trying to be judgmental here. To each their own. Maybe you want to memorialize a loved one, share ink with a buddy or bunch of friends/military unit/teammates/etc., express an accomplishment, etc. That's cool if that's your thing. Just don't be offended if I don't want to look at it, or answer, "No." when asked if I like your new ink. I won't like it.

That's not really my trouble though. My problem is that my wife wants to get a tattoo, or rather MORE tattoos. She already has one small one that she regrets, which has a messy story of it's own that I won't go into here. She knows that I really don't like tattoos, and I certainly haven't told her that I forbid her to get one or anything like that (I don't own her, it's her body), but she still repeatedly tries to talk to me about tattoo's, show me tattoo designs that she likes, talk about other people who recently got a tattoo, etc. etc. etc.. Sometimes I try to listen, but other times I try to avoid it and I know it disappoints her. It's frustrating for me because as many times as I have told her directly in a number of different ways that I do not like tattoos, I do not find them attractive, that in fact I find any woman or body part with a tattoo to be less attractive than it was before, and yet she still tries her best to try to convince me otherwise. Bless her heart, she has spent a LOT of time trying to find designs and ideas that she hopes I might like, or involve me in the process in some form, but what am I supposed to do? Lie to her face? I've reassured her that I love her very much, and will continue to do so no matter what including be supportive of her decisions, but that doesn't mean I have to like all of her decisions does it?

Today she went and got a new tattoo with a friend. She texted me photos, she told me all about it, she's excited, she eventually asks me what I think about it. I try to smile and nod, I try to keep a positive attitude, I say it's a "pretty design," but it's very clear that I'm not into it. It's not that she expected me to love it, but she clearly _*hoped*_ that I would. This bums her out, and I don't know what to do about it. It's super frustrating. I mean, if I told her that I really want to gain 50 pounds, but she's not into overweight men, would it be fair of me to expect her to be happy and/or complimentary of me if I then go gain 50 pounds? She would probably still love me either way, but does that me she has to be happy with my decision too? I know well enough that she would prefer that I not gain 50 pounds and would not be happy with such a decision, so why would I hope otherwise?

Am I just supposed to lie/pretend? Potentially inviting even MORE tattoos?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Tough call. I do think she's disrespecting you by doing that when she knows you won't like it, and your analogy of the weight gain is good.

What, do you think, repulses you so much about tattoos? I'm curious. I don't have any, but I don't feel strongly about them like you do. What about it is so repulsive? Can you put it into words?


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

How big is the tattoo? Can you just look elsewhere? There's a lot of skin on an entire body. I've got some scars from an accident that I hope Mr Giro just looks past, none of us are perfect specimens. Or is it like a car accident that keeps drawing your eye in that direction? Sorry, I'm not really any help


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

She had a tattoo before you married her, if it repulses you that much why did you marry her?

Her body, her choice. Sorry but I'm of the mind set nobody, not even my husband, tells me what to do with my god given body I was born with.

Just as it isn't my right to tell him what to do with his body he was born with.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I don't know, if my husband grew one of those terrible beards like the men on duck dynasty I would be pretty turned off. 

I try to keep my husbands wishes in mind when doing things with my clothes, hair, etc. Of course she already got the tattoo so what are the options? Divorce over a tattoo? I wouldn't divorce over a giant beard but I wouldn't be happy about it either. I'm still no help, maybe I should find something useful to do....


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Don't lie.  Tell her that while it is her body to do with as she wishes you don't like them, don't find them attractive, and that's not going change. 

I don't like them either and neither does DH.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Giro flee said:


> I don't know, if my husband grew one of those terrible beards like the men on duck dynasty I would be pretty turned off.
> 
> I try to keep my husbands wishes in mind when doing things with my clothes, hair, etc. Of course she already got the tattoo so what are the options? Divorce over a tattoo? I wouldn't divorce over a giant beard but I wouldn't be happy about it either. I'm still no help, maybe I should find something useful to do....


I think you were useful in validating his feelings about it .


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## 1marriedlady (Mar 27, 2015)

I love tattoos! 

I did talk to my hubby about it first, and he's not a fan but it's my body. 

I have one on my side in honour of my baby I miscarried. I am waiting for my tattoo artist to design my next one which will honour my other children. And IF after that I want more, I will get more. 

It took me years to build up the courage to get my tattoo because I was afraid of the pain. Which might have been a good thing because I might have ended up completely covered in tattoos LOL.

I also have my nose pierced.

I didn't do these things because of anyone else or for anyone else. I did them for me, because of me.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

1marriedlady:

8 tattoos and 6 piercings here. Mom of 5 too. No one I've met has ever had a negative reaction to any of mine, including my private home health care clients.

They all love/loved them!

The person with tattoos may very well be the person who saves your life in a health crisis, or sees you on the side of the road with a flat tire and stops to help and so on. No one knows some people have tattoos.

If done well, tattoos can be very beautiful living works of art.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Tatoos are just one of those things.. people feel strongly on both sides.. my H feels very similar to you CDbaker.. ..we're a good match as I've never entertained even the smallest thought of wanting one..... 

It's one of those "How do you find Middle ground" with something like this...she kept trying to find one you would like.. did her best to "win you over"... gave it a good GO!....but ultimately you weren't moved.... it's part of who you are...in what you find attractive and what you don't....even we don't know how to change it...you allowed her -her choice.... 

She went into it...KNOWING HOW YOU FELT....it's not like you are suddenly going to just change your mind... 

And she did what she was excited to DO... even if it's not something you can understand... you gave her leeway, didn't try to control her.. I think this is all she can reasonably EXPECT FROM YOU ....

She's got friends who will give her compliments on how great it looks...a good conversation piece for many.... (well unless she put it on a very private part of her body).... now if she did that. I would surely wonder WHY -given you feel as you do?

Just let it blow over.. You married a woman who loves INK.. you'll have to look past this one... 

It could be worse!! *>>*


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

cdbaker said:


> First off, I mean no offense to anyone who has or loves tattoos, on themselves or others.
> 
> For me however, I really find them somewhat disgusting. On myself, on others, etc. I'm a man, so I don't care much about seeing tattoos on other men, but when I see them on women (attractive or otherwise) all I can imagine is how much better they might look if they hadn't scarred their body in such a way. Even a tattoo of a design that I might otherwise find really slick, you might be able to get me to say, "Yeah that's a really cool design, I like it," but it's still a tattoo! I just really can't figure them out, or why anyone would remotely want one.
> 
> ...


I feel the same. Turn off. The female body is amazing, a big Tat on the butt is like finger painting over the Moaning Lisa (ha ha). 

She did something (rather permanent) that made her less attractive to you. She put her needs before yours, that's her choice, but then she wants/hopes/ expects (pick one) you to join in on the excitement?

That's immature, and as usual immaturity tries to put others into a no win situation and fault you for not being good with it.

Now this will always be a memorial to your disapproval.

I can appreciate the emotional or sentimental meaning of a tat without thinking the tat is attractive. I think that should be your focus and put aside her disregard for you and your own aversion to tats. I think that will have the most positive outcome. 

She does not get it, but that is not untypical for her, right CD?

If my wife received a large scar from an accident I could still see the inner person and love her. 

So love covers a multitude of tats, as it were.

BTW I think breast implants are unappealing and I don't care for blue cheese much either.

Take care!


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## mrsc2012 (Dec 26, 2014)

When I first met my H we actually bonded over tattoos(mostly asking who my artist was so he could cover up his old crappy usmc tattoo). It's something that we both enjoy. You knew your wife had one with you both got together so you probably should have asked to see if she wanted more. I don't know about your wife but once my tattoos heal I don't really talk about them much anymore unless someone asks because I'm not even thinking about it. Be honest but in a nice way so she doesn't think that she absolutely repulses you. My H loves sports and I hate them but I don't tell him it's gross that he spends his Sunday's watching football. Lol.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Tatoos are voluntary disfigurement. 

That being said, it would appear a lot of people don't mind making themselves look foolish and less attractive.

I guess I got my hate on for tats when I worked as a corrections officer. Saw more gross, stupid and repulsive jailhouse tats than you could shake a stick at.

Oh, and they will all end up looking like that in a few years as the ink spreads and the body changes shape.

What's next ... ritual scarification?


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

I love tattoos. I'm terrified of needles so I only have one tiny one on my hip, but my husband is covered from his neck to his feet. It's not uncommon for him to get dirty looks in public, especially when he goes to the kids' school. 

I think the repulsion surrounding body mod is ridiculous/hilarious, it's kind of like the thing with smokers and non-smokers. Smokers don't really care whether you smoke or not, people with tattoos don't care if you have them or not, but there's always those people who don't who feel like they have the moral high ground. Just shut up, it's none of your business or concern. 

But anyway...



mrsc2012 said:


> Be honest but in a nice way so she doesn't think that she absolutely repulses you.


This. She tried to involve you in the process and you weren't interested. You can feel however you want about it, but don't be a d*ck. Don't make her feel bad about this thing that she was obviously excited about.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

mrsc2012 said:


> When I first met my H we actually bonded over tattoos(mostly asking who my artist was so he could cover up his old crappy usmc tattoo). It's something that we both enjoy. You knew your wife had one with you both got together so you probably should have asked to see if she wanted more. I don't know about your wife but once my tattoos heal I don't really talk about them much anymore unless someone asks because I'm not even thinking about it. Be honest but in a nice way so she doesn't think that she absolutely repulses you. My H loves sports and I hate them but I don't tell him it's gross that he spends his Sunday's watching football. Lol.


We agree about sports, I don't watch them, but I don't have the same ewww factor about them as I do silicone or ink.

Its good that you are careful how you express yourself to your husband, especially if you hate something he does. That is a wise approach.

So indeed, gross could be to personalized a way of expressing ewww,...unappealing is perhaps a better choice of words.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

batsociety said:


> I think the repulsion surrounding body mod is ridiculous/hilarious, it's kind of like the thing with smokers and non-smokers. Smokers don't really care whether you smoke or not, people with tattoos don't care if you have them or not, but there's always those people who don't who feel like they have the moral high ground. Just shut up, it's none of your business or concern.


Ouch, that harsh!

I did not feel the OP was being a judgmental moralist when he expressed his feelings about Tats, after all who are we to tell him how to feel?

Now he has to look at it, maybe put his mouth on it and overlook it maybe everyday.

Its like someone putting up an advertisement billboard blocking the view of the mountains out your patio door, you just might not be pleased about it.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

I loathe tattoos that are visible to the general public. Infact many police forces in the UK now forbid tattoos on the lower arms, neck etc..ie places visible to the general public.

A tattoo done aged 22 in Manila whist serving might be great fun...how will it look when you are 70?

The only tattoo(s) that I would approve of on my partner would be something small - little frog, a rose etc or something funny - guy with lawnmower in pubic area BUT ONLY if its visible when she is naked.

I have a (just) thirteen year old daughter...I hate her wearing bright, garish (bright pink, bright green etc) nail varnish because it makes her look like a tart. Both she and my wife knows it yet my wife actively encourages it.
I accept she is 13 and growing up and maybe I am being an old fart...I would tolerate a more discrete colour. But I have given up...my wife encourages it because she knows I am against it.

Back on track to tattoos...I think the OP's wife should be more 'aware' and conscious of his feelings.

But, my body (lets not get religious here) so I'll do with it what I want.

I might not agree but I have to respect it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

batsociety said:


> I love tattoos. I'm terrified of needles so I only have one tiny one on my hip, but my husband is covered from his neck to his feet. It's not uncommon for him to get dirty looks in public, especially when he goes to the kids' school.
> 
> I think the repulsion surrounding body mod is ridiculous/hilarious, it's kind of like the thing with smokers and non-smokers. Smokers don't really care whether you smoke or not, people with tattoos don't care if you have them or not, but there's always those people who don't who feel like they have the moral high ground. Just shut up, it's none of your business or concern.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry, I didn't realize that nobody was allowed to have opinions and preferences. Does this mean your hb has free reign to do whatever he wants to himself and you don't get to have an opinion about it lest you claim the moral high ground? 

I think people who fly off the handle because others may not like their preferences aren't secure in their own choices. 

If it works for you and your hb that's great. Others can have opinions that don't agree
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

Decorum said:


> Ouch, that harsh!
> 
> I did not feel the OP was being a judgmental moralist when he expressed his feelings about Tats, after all who are we to tell him how to feel?
> 
> ...


lol, my little rant wasn't really directed at OP. I was just using this thread to vent my frustrations about certain kinds of people with an aversion to ink. We've had a lot of strangers approach us over the years to tell us just how they feel about it, it gets old.

EDIT:



lifeistooshort said:


> I'm sorry, I didn't realize that nobody was allowed to have opinions and preferences. Does this mean your hb has free reign to do whatever he wants to himself and you don't get to have an opinion about it lest you claim the moral high ground?
> 
> I think people who fly off the handle because others may not like their preferences aren't secure in their own choices.
> 
> If it works for you and your hb that's great. Others can have opinions that don't agree


Again, I wasn't trying to sh*t on anyone. Maybe I wasn't clear in my post... 

All I meant was: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI


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## 1marriedlady (Mar 27, 2015)

syhoybenden said:


> Tatoos are voluntary disfigurement.
> 
> That being said, it would appear a lot of people don't mind making themselves look foolish and less attractive.
> 
> ...


You see disfigurement - I see something beautiful. 

I've never felt foolish or less attractive because of my tat or piercing. You have to have confidence to walk around with ink because people will look and stare. Some might even talk to you GASP!!! 

I own my tat and I'm proud to have it, much like a scar, a tat tells a story. There are some scars you see and some you don't. For me - my tat took my heartache and the loss of my child and made it tangible. Something I can see, something that I can cherish for my angel. 

You said yourself you are tainted due to your time as a correction officer - that's because the people sporting them were ugly on the inside and it oozed out and their tats reflected that ugliness. 

So because in 20+ years, the tat might not look the same we shouldn't get it? That's crazy talk. Just as crazy as ritual sacrifce. :rofl:


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

I am pro-tattoos but in this situation wife knows how husband feels about them and that should be taken into consideration. He shouldnt have to pretend to like it to appease her.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

1marriedlady said:


> Just as crazy as ritual sacrifce. :rofl:



Good reading skills. The word was scarification.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

cdbaker said:


> First off, I mean no offense to anyone who has or loves tattoos, on themselves or others.
> 
> For me however, I really find them somewhat disgusting. On myself, on others, etc. I'm a man, so I don't care much about seeing tattoos on other men, but when I see them on women (attractive or otherwise) all I can imagine is how much better they might look if they hadn't scarred their body in such a way. Even a tattoo of a design that I might otherwise find really slick, you might be able to get me to say, "Yeah that's a really cool design, I like it," but it's still a tattoo! I just really can't figure them out, or why anyone would remotely want one.
> 
> ...



Don't lie or pretend. This only compromises your past stand on tattoos. Being supportive of tattoos? Oh, I don't know. Not on the top of my list of things to support for my W or my daughters. But, as stated, their bodies. When they take a look at the tattoo 20 years from now they will wonder what they were thinking. I know I do with my tattoo squarely on my shoulder that I got 20 years ago.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

batsociety said:


> lol, my little rant wasn't really directed at OP. I was just using this thread to vent my frustrations about certain kinds of people with an aversion to ink.


I think we should all be able to express how we feel (either side)... even a little rant.. sometimes it's needed if the other comes off too hurtful, unnecessarily damning....It's good for others to see the differences of opinions & try not to be threatened by them... Generally like attracts Like.. as it should be. 

I look at it this way... IF our choices are not hurting anyone ...I mean ink is not hurting anyone..(personally I'd be most concerned that the artist had the cleanest needles around).... but I understand some find it one of their greatest expressions..." *Body Art*"......they really get into it.... like some get into Football, car restoration.. it can be "a passion" to some where others of us.. we just don't get it..

I can respect that while still having a personal preference.. 

I have a good friend ..she is now in the process of getting 4 butterflies on her arm...one for each daughter...I think it's kinda cool really! She gets excited, posts them on FB... someone like me would be more apt to do a scrapbook dedicated to their life or something, get a charm necklace with all the kids hanging on it.....(more my thing)....

I know my husband thinks she's a wonderful lady...we love her!....but yet if he was married to her, he would very much frown on those being put on her arm....it is what it is.

It's not a judgement on anyone's character. 

Though I must admit...when I see a man with many tattoos.. things pop into my head about him...it's more about what I don't see.. I go for the more conservative family men types more likely to be sitting in a church pew over hanging at the bar, playing pool, cigarette hanging out of his mouth.. when I see many tattoos, this is the sort of persona that conquers in my head, and I'm thinking "where's the harley".. 

Just can't help it ....but I know .. I know.. and remind myself.. we can't always judge a book by it's cover either.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Tough call. 
For me, if I really hated tattoos, I'd view one on my wife the same way I'd view any other minor disfigurement. I'd smile and tell her she was beautiful.

It the tattoos are really that important to her, then yes, I'd lie and tell her I liked them. Same way she lies and says she likes my grey hair  


FWIW, my opinion of tattoos varies a lot. I think some a really nice, I dislike others - like any form of art. 




cdbaker said:


> snip
> Am I just supposed to lie/pretend? Potentially inviting even MORE tattoos?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

batsociety said:


> lol, my little rant wasn't really directed at OP. I was just using this thread to vent my frustrations about certain kinds of people with an aversion to ink. We've had a lot of strangers approach us over the years to tell us just how they feel about it, it gets old.
> 
> EDIT:
> 
> ...



Fair enough. If you like them and your hb is good with them then carry on 

I don't like them, never have. It's not like I'd divorce hubby if he got one but I wouldn't be crazy about it, and if he continued to get them we'd have a problem. 

And I don't like cigarettes. Period. Wouldn't date a smoker, certainly wouldn't kiss one because they stink. Of course they wouldn't be offended by a non smokers because non smokers don't stink. Unless they don't shower, then said smoker would be well within his rights to avoid stinky.

A fat person generally isn't turned off by a thin person, but the thin person might well be turned off by a fat person. 

We all have our tastes, as long as we work it out with our partners we should all be good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lifeistooshort said:


> I'm sorry, I didn't realize that nobody was allowed to have opinions and preferences. Does this mean your hb has free reign to do whatever he wants to himself and you don't get to have an opinion about it lest you claim the moral high ground?
> 
> I think people who fly off the handle because others may not like their preferences aren't secure in their own choices.
> 
> If it works for you and your hb that's great. Others can have opinions that don't agree


I wish I could "Like" ^this^ about a jillion times.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> Fair enough. If you like them and your hb is good with them then carry on
> 
> I don't like them, never have. It's not like I'd divorce hubby if he got one but I wouldn't be crazy about it, and if he continued to get them we'd have a problem.
> 
> ...


Of course everyone has preferences. I think what Batsociety was referring to was those people (I've run into them before also) who feel compelled to walk up to a perfect stranger and say "You're fat, you stink, and I think tattoos are satanic".


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## BWBill (Jan 30, 2013)

_Her body, her choice. Sorry but I'm of the mind set nobody, not even my husband, tells me what to do with my god given body I was born with._

Ultimately this is correct, but marriage really doesn't work if the partners don't care about each others the thoughts, feelings and values. 

Taking this sentiment further, you could also say "its my body, I'll sleep with whoever I want". The logic is the same, even if the actions different.

Tattoos are not an issue with myself and my wife, but I don't know why I would do something that she doesn't like if I know she is going to have to have to look at it every day for the rest of her life.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

CantePe said:


> She had a tattoo before you married her, if it repulses you that much why did you marry her?
> 
> Her body, her choice. Sorry but I'm of the mind set nobody, not even my husband, tells me what to do with my god given body I was born with.
> 
> Just as *it isn't my right to tell him what to do with his body *he was born with.


I agree - to a degree. What if he wants to use his body to have sex with someone else? You have no right to tell him he can't?

Actually, you don't. You only have the right to choose to accept it or not, or negotiate on the subject.

Personally, I've seen very few tattoos that IMO enhance the attraction of the owner, whether large or small. I can ignore a few small ones without any problem, but really dislike dark, large ones, especially sleeves. Frankly, I almost certainly would not date someone who had them, and it would be a difficult decision about staying with someone who chose to have them done knowing I dislike them.


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## 1marriedlady (Mar 27, 2015)

Though I must admit...when I see a man with many tattoos.. things pop into my head about him...it's more about what I don't see.. I go for the more conservative family men types more likely to be sitting in a church pew over hanging at the bar said:


> I like the Harley guy - all tatted up, facial hair, (I can do without the smoking), hanging at the bar, with the Harley outside. Hot damn - but this guy could also be sitting in the church pew, tatts all covered up. Ya just never know.
> 
> A guy at work is all tatted up - but at work he wears long sleeve dress shirts (even in the summer) because he knows people judge him based on his ink. See this guy at the bar and HOT DAMN, tatts are a showing. LOL
> 
> I agree never judge a book by it's cover.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

BWBill said:


> _Her body, her choice. Sorry but I'm of the mind set nobody, not even my husband, tells me what to do with my god given body I was born with._
> 
> Ultimately this is correct, but marriage really doesn't work if the partners don't care about each others the thoughts, feelings and values.
> 
> ...


It is the same logic. Yes the spouse can sleep with someone else. Then the other spouse has the right to choose to stay or go. I can't make someone do something (or not do something), the only thing I can do is react how I'm going to react.

If my spouse slept with someone else my body would be leaving (mind you he had an EA a few years ago, I'm a BS and I drew my line as this was his only chance he is getting strictly on the fact he didn't screw another woman, if he had I'd have been gone).


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

1marriedlady said:


> *I like the Harley guy - all tatted up, facial hair, (I can do without the smoking), hanging at the bar, with the Harley outside. Hot damn - but this guy could also be sitting in the church pew, tatts all covered up. Ya just never know*.


 And this makes sense, right.. Like attracts LIKE.. I don't find beards a bit attractive - stubble though -YES!! 

My husband is turned off by FAKE boobs, he'd prefer mosquito bites over that.. but there are men who would hound their women to get implants.. I've seen those posts here. 



> *A guy at work is all tatted up - but at work he wears long sleeve dress shirts (even in the summer) because he knows people judge him based on his ink. See this guy at the bar and HOT DAMN, tatts are a showing. LOL
> 
> I agree never judge a book by it's cover*.


 We had a very interesting conversation with a BF of a friend who had a # of tatt's ...oh he's got the motorcycle...likes his beer....he's in a band too, we've been to the bar more to see him play over anything else.. ..still a great guy.. 

We sat in her living room with his pulling up his sleeve showing us his tatt in memory of a dear friend of his that DIED on the job- working beside him....a few stories of their antics, memories...it's pretty rare to see a man with another man's name on his body !... he had us laughing like we knew this guy.....it was very touching. I can't recall all he said just now.... but *I was* *very impressed **with the love he had for this friend.*.this is what stood out to me. 

He also told us how he unfortunately had his 1st wife's name put on his arm. then had to pay to get it tattooed over to something else (rather costly)... I think it was him who told us to never do this.. unless your woman's name is "*LISA*"...then it can easily to made into USA...


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## Redheadguy (Jul 30, 2014)

I'm a big fan of Body Art... on others. 
Some stuff is amazingly artistic and beautiful... on others.

I have no desire to have a tattoo of my own.

I would be more than a bit disappointed if my wife went out with her friend(s) and came home with a tattoo without my explicit buy in on it, not that she _needs_ my approval, but because she should want it as my teammate in life. I also think for something as important as marking yourself forever she would want me there with her at the event.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

I hate cancer, AIDS, rapist, murderers, etc. I save my hate for things like that. What someone chose to do to their own bodies is their buisness.


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## Lloyd Dobler (Apr 24, 2014)

batsociety said:


> I love tattoos. I'm terrified of needles so I only have one tiny one on my hip, but my husband is covered from his neck to his feet. *It's not uncommon for him to get dirty looks in public*, especially when he goes to the kids' school.
> 
> I think the repulsion surrounding body mod is ridiculous/hilarious, it's kind of like the thing with smokers and non-smokers. Smokers don't really care whether you smoke or not, people with tattoos don't care if you have them or not, but there's always those people who don't who feel like they have the moral high ground. Just shut up, it's none of your business or concern.
> 
> ...


I'm not a tattoo guy personally, but I don't mind if my wife gets one (she has, and occasionally talks about getting another). It would never occur to me to judge somebody else's body art, because frankly it's none of my damned business. I can't understand why some people get so bent out of shape about them - does anybody think it's a generational thing?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Lloyd Dobler said:


> I'm not a tattoo guy personally, but I don't mind if my wife gets one (she has, and occasionally talks about getting another). It would never occur to me to judge somebody else's body art, because frankly it's none of my damned business. I can't understand why some people get so bent out of shape about them - does anybody think it's a generational thing?


No it's not. There are just as many young people that get bent out of shape about stuff as there are older people.

They often just get bent out of shape about different things.

Tats to an older generation meant "bad person". They'd sniff in disdain as they pulled a smoke out of their engraved silver cigarette case.

Younger generations feature do-gooders who scream in outrage about someone smoking a cigarette within 50 yards of a building entrance. Meanwhile they might have multiple facial piercings.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Meh, in Portland it is hard to find anyone who DOESN'T have tattoos. Doctors, lawyers, nurses, judges and other professionals have them, totally visible, sometimes on the neck or face even. I'm not saying all of them do but so many that it really doesn't matter anymore.

I've never cared one way or another but they are just so overdone now that it is boring. "Oh you got yet ANOTHER tattoo this weekend....so that makes it what, 67 now?" (yawn)


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Younger generations feature do-gooders who scream in outrage about someone smoking a cigarette within 50 yards of a building entrance. Meanwhile they might have multiple facial piercings.


Well there's really no comparison though....smoking is illegal (within so many feet of a public entrance) and lethal, piercings are neither. You (anyone) having a face piercing does not impact MY health, but you smoking near me does. (And I'm an ex-smoker, I'm just making this as a point, not because I personally police people on any of this stuff).


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Yikes, this exploded. Before I read every response, I'll clarify a few things:

First, she didn't have the tattoo when we got married (married 11 years now), she got it a couple years ago when we were separated. She got a boyfriend (who turned out to be a pedophile and went on to serve a few years in prison) and he manipulated her into getting his initials tattooed onto her wrist. He was incredibly manipulative, and she was really embarrassed to have given in to it, so she got it covered with a heart just a few days later. Nonetheless, knowing all of that sure didn't make me feel any better about tattoo's.

I have been honest with her. I've shared that I am 100%, completely turned off by tattoo's. All of them. Every single one. While there are certainly better tattoo's out there than others, they are all still unattractive to me, period! I can honestly see one and say, "That's a nice design" but I'm not saying that I like it as a tattoo. I love buying T-Shirts that have really cool designs, but I wouldn't want any of them tattoo'd on someone.

I definitely try to not view her tattoo as a "memorial to her doing something to herself that she knows I'm not going to like" or anything like that. It's not a huge deal for me, but I'm also not wanting to fake it or lie to her about it. I am however super frustrated at the notion that she will be upset about it.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

I have no problems with tattoos -on myself or my wife. 

I have quite a few myself- back covered -upper arms -several on the chest. However, due to the field I work in and the people I must do business with -all of mine are covered even if wearing short-sleeves and shorts. 

My wife has more tattoos than I do -one arm is sleeved. I think it neither adds to or detracts from her hotness. She does have to select whats she wears based on who she will interact with during the day. But some days/locations is just doesn't matter- Like below...when you are needle scaling under hot tanks...no one much cares about tattoos. She's the one under the tank...


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

To reiterate, my wife did very much take into consideration my feelings on the matter. If it weren't for my distaste of tattoo's, I'm certain she'd have four or five by now. As much as I don't even really like talking about them, she's even spent a lot of time trying to dissect what kind of tattoo's or places on the body I REALLY don't like them as well. All of that effort was based on the goal of trying to find a design/theme/body placement that I might dislike the least. Ultimately, she did also seek my "permission" of sorts. I put that in quotes because she knows that she doesn't need my permission to do what she wants to with her body (as long as we can afford it anyway), but she wanted to know if I would be able to handle it, still love her, still be attracted to her, etc. despite knowing that I won't really like it.

Honestly, in our circumstance, I think that's all I could ever really ask of her, and I appreciate the heck out of her consideration and her seeking to check with me first. I believe if I would have said no, she would have been disappointed but she wouldn't have done it. I think that is how I can see it now and not view it as a "memorial" to her doing this thing that I find unattractive/distasteful, but rather as somewhat of a memorial to her respectful consideration of my feelings/desires as well. (Even if I still wish it wasn't there, haha)


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

cdbaker said:


> To reiterate, my wife did very much take into consideration my feelings on the matter. If it weren't for my distaste of tattoo's, I'm certain she'd have four or five by now. As much as I don't even really like talking about them, she's even spent a lot of time trying to dissect what kind of tattoo's or places on the body I REALLY don't like them as well. All of that effort was based on the goal of trying to find a design/theme/body placement that I might dislike the least. Ultimately, she did also seek my "permission" of sorts. I put that in quotes because she knows that she doesn't need my permission to do what she wants to with her body (as long as we can afford it anyway), but she wanted to know if I would be able to handle it, still love her, still be attracted to her, etc. despite knowing that I won't really like it.
> 
> Honestly, in our circumstance, I think that's all I could ever really ask of her, and *I appreciate the heck out of her consideration and her seeking to check with me first.* I believe if I would have said no, she would have been disappointed but she wouldn't have done it. I think that is how I can see it now and not view it as a "memorial" to her doing this thing that I find unattractive/distasteful, but rather as somewhat of a memorial to her respectful consideration of my feelings/desires as well. (Even if I still wish it wasn't there, haha)


That Sir, makes you- at least in my humble opinion -a genuine man -very much deserving of that consideration. 

I very much hope she appreciates the man you are.....


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

My H has ten tattoos. They don't bother me at all. 

Your situation reminds me a bit of us over my horses. Its a lifestyle and I give him a LOT of consideration, but he is now coming around to much more consideration of the lifestyle I had before he came along. It took him a while to see how much I was sacrificing for him. Glad you can see that alternative perspective. I too, like your wife have spent a LOT of time making this easier for him to live with.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My favorite


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I think we should all be able to express how we feel (either side)... even a little rant.. sometimes it's needed if the other comes off too hurtful, unnecessarily damning....It's good for others to see the differences of opinions & try not to be threatened by them... Generally like attracts Like.. as it should be.
> 
> I look at it this way... IF our choices are not hurting anyone ...I mean ink is not hurting anyone..(personally I'd be most concerned that the artist had the cleanest needles around).... but I understand some find it one of their greatest expressions..." *Body Art*"......they really get into it.... like some get into Football, car restoration.. it can be "a passion" to some where others of us.. we just don't get it..
> 
> ...


Would it surprise you to find out that I have ink?


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

CantePe said:


> She had a tattoo before you married her, if it repulses you that much why did you marry her?
> 
> Her body, her choice. Sorry but I'm of the mind set nobody, not even my husband, tells me what to do with my god given body I was born with.
> 
> Just as it isn't my right to tell him what to do with his body he was born with.


So tomorrow your husband decides he is done taking showers. Just doesn't like them anymore. that merits no discussion? No input? No decision on your part?


I do agree that if he was so opposed to having a woman with tattoos he probably shouldn't have married one who likes them but come on...to say you have no input on your spouse isn't right either


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> Meh, in Portland it is hard to find anyone who DOESN'T have tattoos. Doctors, lawyers, nurses, judges and other professionals have them, totally visible, sometimes on the neck or face even. I'm not saying all of them do but so many that it really doesn't matter anymore.
> 
> I've never cared one way or another but they are just so overdone now that it is boring. "Oh you got yet ANOTHER tattoo this weekend....so that makes it what, 67 now?" (yawn)


Same way here in Colorado. I have no tattoos. My Gf has no tattoos. Beyond that every person I know here has them. I asked her if she knew anyone who didn't have any and she said yeah you and my parents.

It's become more taboo not to have them than to have them it seems. I have actually had two women I was seeing for a short time ask if I would consider getting them because they were turned on by them:scratchhead:

My own personal opinon is that a woman's body is one of the most beautiful things on earth. To purposely scar it is sad to me


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's just one of those things people are going to have to get used to. Pretty soon having a full face ink will be common place. Eventually we'll be electing America's first heavily inked President and so on.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Yeah I am similar I don't find them attractive at all in fact if my wife got one id be really turned off. I can't help it. Id probably divorce my wife if she started getting them. Some people I know with tattoos say they hate face tattoos or tattoos everywhere and that is their preference. But for me I personally find any unattractive. 

Perhaps its because I grew up around them they lost their novelty and uniqueness. Id ask my friends with tats what they do if their spouse got a face tattoo and they said they'd want to leave.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

If I managed somehow to resist getting a tat while in the USN on a drunken leave in Olongapo nearly 35 years ago, I doubt I'll be getting one any time in the near future.

I'm pretty Old School when it comes to tats. Unless you're a sailor, biker, or ex-con, they don't work too well.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I don't like tattoos at all - on anyone. Never saw one that I thought looked good. Just not my thing, but to each their own I suppose.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Yeah for sure id divorce my wife. People here can be so hypocritical. They claim they don't mind a tattoo but everyone I know with tattoos hates facial tattoos. So what if your spouse covered their face in ink? Its their body cant you just accept and love them? I mean everyone has a limit even though they claim or like to claim they dont and are 'open minded'.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

GTdad said:


> If I managed somehow to resist getting a tat while in the USN on a drunken leave in Olongapo nearly 35 years ago, I doubt I'll be getting one any time in the near future.
> 
> I'm pretty Old School when it comes to tats. Unless you're a sailor, biker, or ex-con, they don't work too well.


Old School....Yes. 

But...times they are changing. I am approached/entertained/fed/bothered by Resin Sales men pretty non-stop. Only because I buy it by the Semi-Load. Had one from a VERY large US manufacturer take me out one evening...at dinner our Waitress had a really nice sleeve going on...He proceeded to explain- at length -his hatred for tattoos and what he thought of men and women with them. The next day -when he came by the office to get me to sign on the line that was dotted....My wife was in my office with me. He looked at her....looked at me...gave me his best pitch and left empty handed. He was old school too. His boss flew out to see me about a month later...told him the story....His boss showed me his tats. Still haven't bought anything from them for some time...

Old School.....to each his own.

Maybe people that can't handle the commitment of a tattoo...just have commitment issues.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

MarriedDude said:


> Old School....Yes.
> 
> But...times they are changing. I am approached/entertained/fed/bothered by Resin Sales men pretty non-stop. Only because I buy it by the Semi-Load. Had one from a VERY large US manufacturer take me out one evening...at dinner our Waitress had a really nice sleeve going on...He proceeded to explain- at length -his hatred for tattoos and what he thought of men and women with them. The next day -when he came by the office to get me to sign on the line that was dotted....My wife was in my office with me. He looked at her....looked at me...gave me his best pitch and left empty handed. He was old school too. His boss flew out to see me about a month later...told him the story....His boss showed me his tats. Still haven't bought anything from them for some time...
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I love tattoos. That said, it's all contingent upon the artist. And I do mean artist, not some scratcher doing them at home. There is a huge difference. Have you guys seen 3-d tattoos? There is some incredible talent out there. Tattoos can be amazing and beautiful. Again, it depends on the artist.

When it comes to ink, I view the human body as a canvas and if the artist is worth his/her salt, it'll be a work of art. I stop heavily tattooed people in public and ask if I can look at their body art. I've never received a negative response and they are thrilled to show me and even answer my questions about the stories behind them. To me, it's merely another form of art.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

I don't like face tattoos on me. If the husband decided to get one, that's his choice. I'd accept it as his body, his choice. I'd consider a throat tattoo though. Everyone has their preferences in where they will pierce or tattoo themselves. I won't do belly button. Don't like results after having kids and the stretching of the piercing holes. I don't do gauging (aka stretching the piercing hole to a much larger gauge) and don't do dermal punching or dermal implants.

Not my preference. I'd take on trying clitoral hood piercing if I was brave enough (have a friend who had a triple piercing and my BIL had a prince Albert)


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

My sense is that the fad will fade if it hasn't started to already. When judges, bankers, doctors and grandmas are getting tats you know the cool is gone.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I personally don't care if a person chooses to get a tattoo or many tattoos, their body their choice. Personally it is not my thing, for me to want to decorate my own body feels like it would be a very pretentious choice - I appreciate cool artwork but I think that skin is a poor medium for painting on, especially if it's on a part of the body the person can't even see with their own eyes (shoulder, back etc).

I think what disappoints me even more, and causes many people like on this thread to so vocally complain about them, is how so very common they have become (especially where I live). When in public I look around and of 20 people at least a dozen are showing tattoos, and many are either just not esthetically pleasing or downright ugly. And several are even attempts to offend or make some kind of rebellious statement (these are the kind I find most idiotic because opinions can change). I also find it ludicrous that people choose to get tattoos in places where they will be seen by many, and then if their ink is critiqued or judged they get offended - if you put art on display, people will look and cast judgement (to me this is entirely the reason why anyone chooses to have tattoos done, either that or because they think its cool and want to have a better chance at attracting people into their lives that think they are an interesting person).

Many people wear tattoos because they want to wear a symbol that has personal meaning to them, but if you still put that on public display anyways the public is not going to differentiate your reason for having a tattoo versus those that are just seeking attention. If you cover your tattoos and only reveal them to intimate partners then I suppose I wouldn't even know about it... if my own partner had a tattoo it would probably provide the occasional moments of interest, but once I've seen it a few times the novelty would wear off - though I could see people who like to indulge in many sexual partners on a regular basis would find tattoos a thought provoking added element to their casual endeavors.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

samyeagar said:


> *Would it surprise you to find out that I have ink?*


Just a smidget.... not terribly though..I've never gotten the impression you were all that conservative ...which is probably the case for a # of us...just more conservative roots is all.....hate to even use that word as I know others associate it with stuffy "you think your crap doesn't stink" religious people who don't know how to have any fun... which is not how I see it (though it can be true also).. no word covers all.. just as with any issue, there are many shades of grey... 

I can only think of 2 guys we know in our circles who have Tatt's...then there is our 6th son (Friends son, he calls me Mom)... bless his heart.. got a "woman" on his leg.. (I asked him to send me a quick pic on FB)...he was so excited lifting up his jeans to show us years ago! He got another on his chest recently....he likes his ink. 










I asked how he feels about his Tattoo's....(his words, I told him I was on a tattoo thread)... "It's my way of expressing how I feel about certain things in life that have affected me in a positive or negative way. The women tattoo explains the relationships with women I have, all the relationships I have had have been very negative..."...(he went on to say more but I will leave that out)..

" The chest tattoo expresses how I feel about life. The outer part of the tattoo is from an anime called "Fairy Tail". A group of friends that come together no matter what the situation is. The friends push one another to better."..he spoke of "the attributes ....courage, wisdom and power. This is what each attribute means to me. *Courage* means getting out of bed early every day -facing what is in front of me. *Wisdom* means to me being able to be give out advice in the areas that I'm experienced in, maybe they be good or bad. Also, learn my other peoples mistakes and try not to make them myself. 

*Power *means to me being able to stand up for myself no matter what the circumstance is. I get lost and confused on the different types of power, there is good and evil power. I try not to let the evil power get ahold of me. Once you let the evil power get to deep, there is no coming back from it. It is harder to keep the good power because everyone will try and steal it. Power also means pushing forward through bad times and not letting them get you down."..

Hey that was a deep conversation he shared with me...and of all things, over his tattoos and what they mean to him.. so yeah.. they are very personal for some...with inspiration attached ...


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## Kresaera (Nov 8, 2014)

I have 4 tattoos myself, my husband has 2. Our most recent ones we got together as a tribute to our love of gaming and our childhoods as well as some things we have been through as a couple. We got Link and Zelda from The Legend of Zelda. So obviously I'm far from against tattoos, even facial tattoos. 

I read your responses OP and I think you've got it all under control.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Kresaera said:


> I have 4 tattoos myself, my husband has 2. Our most recent ones we got together as a tribute to our love of gaming and our childhoods as well as some things we have been through as a couple. We got Link and Zelda from The Legend of Zelda. So obviously I'm far from against tattoos, even facial tattoos.
> 
> I read your responses OP and I think you've got it all under control.


So I'm curious, because I just don't understand what benefit a person gets out of a tattoo - beside the obvious superficial ones - what purpose/pleasure/benefit do you get from your Zelda tattoos?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*And if you're ever perchance applying for a top level job with visible tattoos showing, well, unless you are interviewing with some tattoo emporium, with a rock band, or perhaps with the narc unit of some law enforcement agency, your chances of landing that job preeminently rests somewhere between "slim" and "none," and Slim just left!

And there are supported firings of tatted people who companies had them dismissed because the tatts they donned were deemed to dispel the overall public image of the company!*


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

1marriedlady said:


> I like the Harley guy - all tatted up, facial hair, (I can do without the smoking), hanging at the bar, with the Harley outside. Hot damn - but this guy could also be sitting in the church pew, tatts all covered up. Ya just never know.
> 
> A guy at work is all tatted up - but at work he wears long sleeve dress shirts (even in the summer) because he knows people judge him based on his ink. See this guy at the bar and HOT DAMN, tatts are a showing. LOL
> 
> I agree never judge a book by it's cover.


I don't think anyone is saying that people with tattoos are bad people, just that they don't find tattoos to be attractive. I personally hate tattoos and would not be attracted to a man who had any. I work in retail and know of quite a few people with a large amount of tattoos who are wonderful people, but I just don't few them attractive at all. That's just my personal preference and we all have our own. 

I honestly would be very upset if my husband went out and got a tattoo. Yes, it is his body, but I would like to think he takes me into consideration. Marriage is about compromise after all, as to do what works well for both people in the relationship. I don't chop off all my hair because I know my husband does not like super short hair on women. I didn't refuse to pump because I knew he wanted to be able to feed our baby son, too. I take him into consideration and do expect him to do so as well. If he did go out and get a tattoo anyways, I would say, "I am happy you are happy about it, but you know my feelings on the subject" and leave it at that.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

FrenchFry said:


> I'm quoting this because I'd love to answer--just not on the clock.


I'll check back 

I ask this question because I stumbled upon this article:

The costs and benefits of one teen's tattoo | Marketplace.org

The young man in there said that the main benefit he gets from his tattoo is that it offers protection against thugs since he looks more intimidating and doesn't appear to be as easy a target. And also just because he likes it and thinks its cool to look at in the mirror.

In my google quest I also came across these articles:

There's One Beautiful Benefit to Having Tattoos We Often Overlook - Mic

in which a couple was able to find a romantic connection with someone of similar interest - I guess the experience and symbols they display are a visual form of nonverbal communication that help to identify with like-minded people.

And this one:
There's a Scientific Reason You're Attracted to Men With Beards and Tattoos - Mic

which explains that tattoos (and beards and piercings) are a signal of "identity, rank, dominance or attractiveness" to females.

I sort of get it, and I see that in real life all around me, indeed tattoos have the effect these articles suggest. To me it all just seems like the height of superficiality - while I try not to judge people for superficial reasons, and while I don't consider some people I know with tats "superficial" at all, it just doesn't seem like the product of an healthy society.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

arbitrator said:


> *And if you're ever perchance applying for a top level job with visible tattoos showing, well, unless you are interviewing with some tattoo emporium, with a rock band, or perhaps with the narc unit of some law enforcement agency, your chances of landing that job preeminently rests somewhere between "slim" and "none," and Slim just left!
> 
> And there are supported firings of tatted people who companies had them dismissed because the tatts they donned were deemed to dispel the overall public image of the company!*


Don't have that issue at all. Has never been a problem for me getting hired and have never been fired because of my tattoos. Some are even visible.

I've worked office jobs, general labour jobs, home health care, graphics design, stage crew jobs, music entertainment (our own business)...

Even get compliments on them from the HR either when being interviewed or working with a company. My healthcare clients never complained about them and most if not all loved them (most of my clients were seniors too)

Times have changed. Tattoos are more mainstream now and accepted way more than they were back when. I think what you describe is the exception to the rule these days.


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## Kresaera (Nov 8, 2014)

Lon said:


> So I'm curious, because I just don't understand what benefit a person gets out of a tattoo - beside the obvious superficial ones - what purpose/pleasure/benefit do you get from your Zelda tattoos?


Well, firstly I like the way they look ( I know, superficial but still) we got the original 8-bit pixeled designs from the original game, but mostly what I get from it is that it's a memory from my childhood, before the drug addiction, before the broken hearts, before the pain and stress of being an adult. It's a reminder of simpler times when my main worry was beating a video game. Also, my husband and I share a love for video games, specifically the ones from our childhood era. In the game, Link (the male character) is on a mission to rescue the princess (Zelda) and in our lives, my husband "rescued me" from an abusive relationship and other obstacles that very well could have ruined me. 

Even if none of this makes sense to anyone else, it makes sense to me and since I got the tattoo (along with the other 3) for nobody but myself, it doesn't matter if anyone else gets it or not, it makes me happy and that is the most important thing. 

 <3


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## Kresaera (Nov 8, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> *And if you're ever perchance applying for a top level job with visible tattoos showing, well, unless you are interviewing with some tattoo emporium, with a rock band, or perhaps with the narc unit of some law enforcement agency, your chances of landing that job preeminently rests somewhere between "slim" and "none," and Slim just left!
> 
> And there are supported firings of tatted people who companies had them dismissed because the tatts they donned were deemed to dispel the overall public image of the company!*


Seriously? I have a manager at the job I'm currently at with 2 full sleeves, completely visible to anyone with eyes. If someone is going to not hire me based on my ink then they aren't people I'd want to work for.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Kresaera said:


> Seriously? I have a manager at the job I'm currently at with 2 full sleeves, completely visible to anyone with eyes. If someone is going to not hire me based on my ink then they aren't people I'd want to work for.


I think Arb is referring more to an executive job position where you report to a board of directors, not middle management. And yes I agree, nobody wants to "work" for those kind of people, they are after the status of that title.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

FrenchFry said:


> Everyone has their own reasons to get tattoos and I think you'll find that there are layers of reasons for most tattoos even if they seem a little superficial at first.
> 
> Mine are easy to explain in a superficial manner--I like certain types of pain, I got my tattoos with my closest friends, I like certain shapes a lot (hearts!) I think they are pretty.
> 
> ...


There are so many other ways to show who you are visually without needing to tattoo yourself... If it works for you then that is what matters most, but I think many of the justifications for tattoos completely overlook less drastic measures. I get that people "like" tattoos, but I still can't see any other real benefit other than scratching the "because I can" itch. 😊. To each their own, but esthetically speaking I just scratch my head more and more. Some of the sexist women/people I see have lots of tats, but it's not the tats that makes them sexy to me, they actually detract just a little. And it seems like the sexier I find them the more prone they are too getting all inked up, on the macro level it is hard for me to not think of it as a sort of blight (but this is just too judgmental of me so I revert to putting it out of my mind and retreat from society, lol).


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## Kresaera (Nov 8, 2014)

FrenchFry said:


> If you ask me on the street though, I'll tell you that this is Ivy and this is my Family Heart and that's about it.
> 
> That's about as deep as I'd go until I saw a reason to go deeper--which might be that kickass Zelda tattoo.


 I'll post pics once they are finished. Mine still needs a couple things colored and hubby's needs all the color done on it. They are so awesome and I love them!!


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## Kresaera (Nov 8, 2014)

FrenchFry said:


> LOL. Part of it is probably that there is still a bit of attitude about a woman getting multiple, highly visible tattoos. Women who do so, especially big visible ones have to have a certain type of personality that is very attractive to certain other people.


This!!! Once my Zelda heals I am getting a chest piece done and it is going to be very big and very visible and I am so very excited to get it done.

Also, self expression is done in so many different ways. Aside from my tattoos, I also have my nose pierced and I have a Vertical Clitoral Hood piercing. I color my hair every few months and I paint my nails crazy fun colors. My friends and family have labeled me a 'hippie' and I embrace that with all the love and peace in my heart. 

I am all about self expression as long as it isn't harming someone else.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Lon said:


> I think Arb is referring more to an executive job position where you report to a board of directors, not middle management. And yes I agree, nobody wants to "work" for those kind of people, they are after the status of that title.


I don't report to middle management in healthcare. I report directly to one of the main bosses. An RPN and the top exec has seen my (CEO) my tattoos and he chatted my ear off over them in a positive way.

A board of directors doesn't give a hoot as long as their bottom line is in the black...


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

My tattoos are significant events in my life personified in permanent ink on my skin. None of them are from flash designs (all designed by me or someone I know as custom pieces) and they are also done to signify another year I haven't self harmed. Instead of self harming I get custom done ink. I haven't self harmed since 2008...


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

So I was reading that tattoos can interfere with the operation of the new Apple Watch. Which is hysterically funny.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I don't have any ink. At 18, I almost got one and am thankful that I didn't do it because it would have been really silly to me now. My sister has about six and I find that many people who get them seem to always want more. 

Now, I do think they look good on some people, and some of them also look stupid. Tats are just not my thing. I prefer my bare skin.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

CantePe said:


> My tattoos are significant events in my life personified in permanent ink on my skin. None of them are from flash designs (all designed by me or someone I know as custom pieces) and they are also done to signify another year I haven't self harmed. Instead of self harming I get custom done ink. I haven't self harmed since 2008...


Like I said to FF, all that matters is if you like it or not, I just really can't see how it provides any true benefit for anyone... If it has a positive affect for you that's great, I understand their is powerful meaning behind symbols and artwork, I just don't see how them having to be placed on skin can offer anything other than a benefit-neutral medium, why would these visual marks have any less meaning to you if they were on canvas or paper or glass or concrete or wood or anything that isn't an organ?


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening jellybeans
A good point. I'd be mortified by the sort of tattoos I would have gotten when I was young. People change - a lot.





Jellybeans said:


> I don't have any ink. At 18, I almost got one and am thankful that I didn't do it because it would have been really silly to me now. My sister has about six and I find that many people who get them seem to always want more.
> 
> Now, I do think they look good on some people, and some of them also look stupid. Tats are just not my thing. I prefer my bare skin.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Lon said:


> Like I said to FF, all that matters is if you like it or not, I just really can't see how it provides any true benefit for anyone... If it has a positive affect for you that's great, I understand their is powerful meaning behind symbols and artwork, I just don't see how them having to be placed on skin can offer anything other than a benefit-neutral medium, why would these visual marks have any less meaning to you if they were on canvas or paper or glass or concrete or wood or anything that isn't an organ?


A positive effect is not a benefit? How do those 2 thins differ?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

NobodySpecial said:


> A positive effect is not a benefit? How do those 2 thins differ?


A positive a effect is definitely a benefit, but I'm just trying to identify the real cause of the positive effect, because surely injecting some ink into your skin is just superficial... If it's about conveying information, a graphic t-shirt, or body paint, or specific hairstyle, or henna can do the same job. Why is ink in skin the only way to achieve the positive benefit one seeks?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Lon said:


> A positive a effect is definitely a benefit, but I'm just trying to identify the real cause of the positive effect, because surely injecting some ink into your skin is just superficial... If it's about conveying information, a graphic t-shirt, or body paint, or specific hairstyle, or henna can do the same job. Why is ink in skin the only way to achieve the positive benefit one seeks?


It is not the only way. Just the chosen way. If one does not start from a position of a tattoo being a Bad Thing, there is no reason to look for alternatives.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Self harming is about using physical pain to release negative over whelming emotions. Tattoos hurt, for me its about leaving a positive visual on my skin rather than the negative scars of self harming (including positive versus negative emotional scars as well as psychological).

A piece of art on paper degrades over time. My ink is "forever". Tattoos can be laser removed. They really aren't forever anymore but it is damn expensive and apparently more painful to remove them.

To me, it is a permanent personification of what is on the inside revealed to the outside world. It is like wearing my heart literally on my sleeve.


I don't think you will truly understand tattoos. It isn't your thing and I respect that it isn't for everyone. It's that catch 22 thing: can't get it unless you get it.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

NobodySpecial said:


> It is not the only way. Just the chosen way. *If one does not start from a position of a tattoo being a Bad Thing, there is no reason to look for alternatives*.


That is where I differ - I do not see a tattoo as a bad thing, but what I figure is that anyone who gets a tattoo must see it as a good thing. And that is the part I guess I just don't get, to me it's just superficial and "good" or "bad" doesn't really apply, however "cool" or "because I can" seems to. And so it does bother me when so many people judge others for their choice to have a tattoo or not, and for the tattoo itself - if it's just superficial, then how come so many people think those with them are dangerous, scary or evil while others think they are interesting, cool or a sign of strength?

CantePe, I'm not sure that I'm a person that just doesn't get it, but maybe that's true. A couple years ago I was thinking of getting one and giving a lot of thought to what symbol I wanted to wear - but then I realized it was completely backwards - I shouldn't want the tat then decide the symbol because that would just be to impress others not myself. If there was something important enough and with a particular meaning that could be best expressed on my skin I would do it, but for the life of me I just can't think of anything at all that fits that reason. (and I too appreciate the pain associated with suffering through an event that makes one stronger). I guess I just wear my heart inside my heart


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Lon said:


> That is where I differ - I do not see a tattoo as a bad thing, but what I figure is that anyone who gets a tattoo must see it as a good thing. And that is the part I guess I just don't get, to me it's just superficial and "good" or "bad" doesn't really apply, however "cool" or "because I can" seems to. And so it does bother me when so many people judge others for their choice to have a tattoo or not, and for the tattoo itself - if it's just superficial, then how come so many people think those with them are dangerous, scary or evil while others think they are interesting, cool or a sign of strength?
> 
> CantePe, I'm not sure that I'm a person that just doesn't get it, but maybe that's true. A couple years ago I was thinking of getting one and giving a lot of thought to what symbol I wanted to wear - but then I realized it was completely backwards - I shouldn't want the tat then decide the symbol because that would just be to impress others not myself. If there was something important enough and with a particular meaning that could be best expressed on my skin I would do it, but for the life of me I just can't think of anything at all that fits that reason. (and I too appreciate the pain associated with suffering through an event that makes one stronger). I guess I just wear my heart inside my heart


There is so much less to g"get" than this. i got my ears pierced because I wanted to. I got a tattoo because I wanted to. There really is no more than that.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

OK, I'd say I was a touch harsh in saying you don't get it.

You view it differently is all. For your reading pleasure though I have a Smithsonian link on the history of tattoos...
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/tattoos-144038580/


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I


Lon said:


> Kresaera said:
> 
> 
> > Seriously? I have a manager at the job I'm currently at with 2 full sleeves, completely visible to anyone with eyes. If someone is going to not hire me based on my ink then they aren't people I'd want to work for.
> ...


* In particular, numerous sales, marketing, administration, or legal jobs. Also, you can't officiate/referee either collegiately or professionally with a tattoo or a piercing that is in any way visible!

All of these vocations/avocations are really concerned about the negative public image that having these convey!*


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## Extraordinary Way (Dec 16, 2014)

There are occasionally designs I see that look great on paper, and I can appreciate the talent that it took to come up with the artwork. 

But I mostly think tattoos look tacky/trashy. Nothing against people with them. Many of my friends and family have ones they love (or dont lol) and I don't treat people differently because they have them (unless its that ex skinhead guy I met with the racist tats. thanks for the permanent heads up) It just seems like a waste. Pay to get it done. pay to touch it up. pay to cover it up because it looks like crap over time or pay to get it removed. They are just not for me, and I'm not attracted to them.


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## loopy lu (Oct 30, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *And if you're ever perchance applying for a top level job with visible tattoos showing, well, unless you are interviewing with some tattoo emporium, with a rock band, or perhaps with the narc unit of some law enforcement agency, your chances of landing that job preeminently rests somewhere between "slim" and "none," and Slim just left!
> 
> And there are supported firings of tatted people who companies had them dismissed because the tatts they donned were deemed to dispel the overall public image of the company!*


I was recently promoted to a senior management position in one of the biggest financial services company in my country. With visible tattoos. I have also had at various times, a nose piercing, a dermal piercing on my hand and several through my ears. I have other piercings as well but they are well covered.

I am a woman who is well respected by the CEO and Executives, has a six figure salary and manages a team of people. And im under 40. 

THANKFULLY, the world is more progressive than views like these.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

arbitrator said:


> I
> 
> * In particular, numerous sales, marketing, administration, or legal jobs. Also, you can't officiate/referee either collegiately or professionally with a tattoo or a piercing that is in any way visible!
> 
> All of these vocations/avocations are really concerned about the negative public image that having these convey!*


I have a visible tattoo, and I'm the HR manager, and CFO assistant I also deal with a lot of people that come into the office. Nobody at the company has made me feel like I do not belong in my position or treat me different. My tattoo has nothing to do with whether or not I can do my job, and I must be pretty damn good at it, since I got a $9,000 raise last year. Tattoo's are more common now and a lot of people are less prejudice against them in the work force.


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## Tubbalard (Feb 8, 2015)

According to Bill O'Reilly, minorities can't get jobs because of tattoos.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

At lunch today I was walking behind a woman wearing capri pants and she had a tattoo on each calf, the right side was a large rose that covered most of the muscle, on the left was some random ink blot which could be taken for a birthmark but was actually designed on like that. Her face was very pretty, I just couldn't think about anything other than how asymmetric and poorly done her tattoos were. The rose might have looked nice when it was first done, but it was dull, heavy and faded and very unpleasing. My next thought was how much that would bother me if it was on my leg, and wondering if she was at all aware of how ugly it was, or if she is just the kind of person that thinks mediocrity is to be celebrated? Either way, it's one attractive woman that is not a viable choice for a single guy with taste. 

But then, just to clarify that I'm not just a downer and about minding other people's business, my next thoughts turned to how enjoyable it was to get out of the office for a brisk walk down by the riverbank on my lunch hour, and how much I value my freedom, and entertaining it is how people exercise their own freedom of expression.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

Great timing for this topic.

My wife is getting her first tattoo this evening. We have had countless conversations about why I do not approve. Finally I had to tell her she can do whatever the hell she wants with her body but that doesn't mean I have to like it. 

She has a really tough time with people accepting her and her not hearing me say "i approve" is devastating. I had to tell her that I respect her individuality and if she wanted to do something to her body I wouldn't stop her. At the same time she had to respect that I had an opinion on it and I am my own person. I don't think she got it.


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

committed_guy said:


> Great timing for this topic.
> 
> My wife is getting her first tattoo this evening. We have had countless conversations about why I do not approve. Finally I had to tell her she can do whatever the hell she wants with her body but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
> 
> She has a really tough time with people accepting her and her not hearing me say "i approve" is devastating. I had to tell her that I respect her individuality and if she wanted to do something to her body I wouldn't stop her. At the same time she had to respect that I had an opinion on it and I am my own person. I don't think she got it.



What kind of tattoo and where? In colour or just black?


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

As for myself, I don't like men with tattoo Or maybe I would make an exception if it's somewhere on his back. Somehow I don't like arms tattoes , I find them distestfull.

I wanted in a long time a tiny tattoo on the back of my neck but for some reason I'm still not decided to do it. What if I regret it? Even tough would not bigger then 1 cm but I'm still debating the idea...


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

I'm not clear on whether or not your wife knows you detest tattoos. When she kept talking about getting one did you say "I don't like tattoos?" It seems weird that you're so clear on not liking them and yet she's excited and asking you what you think as if she thinks you'll like it. And you're saying "it's a nice design..."

My husband LOATHES tattoos. Especially on pretty young girls who have no clue how much they may regret them some day. I would never get a tattoo in the first place as I don't like them either. But if I did, I still would not knowing my husband would not like it.

It seems like the kind of thing she would talk to you about first as in: "I'd like to get a tattoo. What would you think of that?" and then you might say "It's your body but I really hate tattoos on women."

To me, to do something permanent like that to your appearance when you are married without taking your spouses opinion into consideration is really inconsiderate. Why would she do that? Doesn't she want you to feel attracted to her? That's why I'm confused as to whether or not you have been clear on your aversion to tattoos.

But then I don't even wear clothes my husband dislikes when we're together. I know some women feel that's very doormat and say they "dress for themselves!" but there are enough outfits we both like -- why would I wear something I know he doesn't care for?

A tattoo? UGH, well, I'm with you - I despise them so much I really can't be objective.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

You wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari, would you?



I'm a gal in the "no thanks" category. My exH was covered in them. Didn't really bother me, as it wasn't my body. But yes......the more he covered himself, the less attractive he became to me. I jokingly told him if I couldn't see skin anymore I would divorce him. He now has full sleeves, a chestful hes working on, and I know he always planned on getting a huge one on his back. His new wife can look at all the "art." LOL!

Having said that, I did have my eyebrow pierced for a while. It was a faze, and it grew in and you can hardly tell it was ever there.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

loopy lu said:


> arbitrator said:
> 
> 
> > *And if you're ever perchance applying for a top level job with visible tattoos showing, well, unless you are interviewing with some tattoo emporium, with a rock band, or perhaps with the narc unit of some law enforcement agency, your chances of landing that job preeminently rests somewhere between "slim" and "none," and Slim just left!
> ...


*Like most anything else, I would think that that's largely contingent upon the social views and mores of those folks at the top of the corporate hierarchy or by the employer himself!*


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

I love tattoos. Good and bad ones!

I can't wait to get mine!

I think women with tattoos are SIGNIFICANTLY hotter. They are also usually less conservative and for me anyways, that's a huge turn on.

I am part of the group that believes having tattoo's does not make you incompetent in any way and supports the integration of art into the workplace. That's what it is, body art. 

The only people who seem not to like them are very conservative people or old people. Usually the same type of boring people. No offense lol. 

I think that if you have tattoos of skulls and satan, yeah, that's going to impact getting a job. But if you have a beautiful, meaningful tattoo and you can explain it with passion to a potential employer, well, that might be a bonus.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

GA HEART said:


> You wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari, would you?


Do you wear makeup?


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> It's become more taboo not to have them than to have them it seems.


No, it hasn't. 

"A taboo is a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behavior is either too sacred or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake, under threat of supernatural punishment."


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

What Arbitrator has said is certainly true... at some companies. That issue is also much less wide spread than he stated. 

Slim to none, and slim just left = none. 
That has already been proven incorrect here. 

Let's be real. Not getting the job due to a tattoo is always a possibility. That is why I can look like a mormon wearing a button up, or a man who doesn't give a sh!t if you find my tattoos repulsive or "low class". 

They aren't for you, so if they aren't for you it makes little difference.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

zillard said:


> No, it hasn't.
> 
> "A taboo is a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behavior is either too sacred or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake, under threat of supernatural punishment."


I sometimes sense a social undercurrent that those who don't get a tattoo are too accursed (or unacceptably boring) to be considered "ordinary" by the masses of decorated people putting their body art on display in the general public. People with tattoos are generally more ordinary than the un-tattooed where I live.

So it's not taboo to not get inked, it just means there must be something wrong with you for not wanting to do something so awesome.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Lon said:


> I sometimes sense a social undercurrent that those who don't get a tattoo are too accursed (or unacceptably boring) to be considered "ordinary" by the masses of decorated people in putting their body art on display in the general public. People with tattoos are generally more ordinary than the un-tattooed where I live.
> 
> So it's not taboo to not get inked, it just means there must be something wrong with you for not wanting to do something so awesome.


Agreed. People aren't going to think you're dirty or going to hell, but some people may think you're dull or boring.

However, I'm in a tattoo shop almost daily, family and friends are tattoo artists, and I have never once heard a single tattoo'd person point out someone with no tattoos and make a derogatory remark about them because of that, specifically.

On the other hand, we tattoo'd folk are well accustomed to comments. Still. Happens more in places like Utah but also happens in places like Vegas.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

I always think of the people who go around judging people with tattoos are the same type of person who snickers when they see a gay couple or a mixed race family. Just my opinion.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

As for the OP's dilemma, 

Communication about it is good. Her consideration involving you is good. No, you shouldn't pretend to be into it if you are not. Be honest but considerate. 

My X wanted to get a specific tattoo in a specific location which I thought would be unattractive to me. I told her so. She chose not to do it, but that choice should certainly be hers. 

And if she had, it would've been up to me to get over it and see past it. After all, isn't physical appearance superficial, be it tattoos, hair, makeup, or body fat? 

I found her physical appearance less attractive when she gained weight. But that is only one aspect of attraction and my love for her remained the same.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

zillard said:


> Do you wear makeup?


It was a joke, but no.....as a matter of fact, I don't! 

And I am in no way, shape, or form conservative either. It's just a personal preference, we are allowed those last I checked.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Lon said:


> I sometimes sense a social undercurrent that those who don't get a tattoo are too accursed (or unacceptably boring) to be considered "ordinary" by the masses of decorated people putting their body art on display in the general public. People with tattoos are generally more ordinary than the un-tattooed where I live.
> 
> So it's not taboo to not get inked, it just means there must be something wrong with you for not wanting to do something so awesome.


I can count exactly 3 people in my social circle that do not have tats. I am one of them. So ordinary. So boring.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

GA HEART said:


> It was a joke, but no.....as a matter of fact, I don't!
> 
> And I am in no way, shape, or form conservative either. It's just a personal preference, we are allowed those last I checked.


Never said you weren't allowed. I have mine too. 

I prefer women with good tattoos who don't wear much makeup. And please, stop plucking those eyebrows, ladies!

ETA - Although I'd certainly date a woman with no tattoos. I think they can be very hot, but are not necessary. To me, dull and boring are more about personality and intelligence.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> Same way here in Colorado. I have no tattoos. My Gf has no tattoos. Beyond that every person I know here has them. I asked her if she knew anyone who didn't have any and she said yeah you and my parents.





GA HEART said:


> I can count exactly 3 people in my social circle that do not have tats. I am one of them.


I find this very interesting. 

Aside from those in the tattoo industry, the majority of my friends (most are in other creative fields similar to mine) do not have any tattoos.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

zillard said:


> I find this very interesting.
> 
> Aside from those in the tattoo industry, the majority of my friends (most are in other creative fields similar to mine) do not have any tattoos.


Most of the people in my immediate social circle do not have any, but I didn't discriminate it just worked out that way, whereas I'd say the majority of people around me that are in my secondary social circle and beyond have them.

My brother doesn't but his fiance and her entire family are covered in them, my parents aunts and most uncles don't but most of my cousins do. At my brother's upcoming wedding, most people are going to be tattooed except for my half of the head table and the one beside it.

At thanksgiving and christmas at my soon to be SIL's home everyone has them but they never seem to talk about them unless someone has a new one to show off, it's weird


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## saubryn (May 12, 2015)

In my social circle is about 50% people with no tattoos and 50% people who have a ton of them. I know a few people who have full sleeves and full leg tattoos, plus back tattoos, for example.

I have one sleeve and something on the bicep of the other arm. I have one other small tattoo planned and then that's me done for at least a few more years (I tend to get a couple of designs, wait 5 years or so, then get more).

My husband has two full sleeves.

Tattoos have been a funny subject for us. We both like them, but we don't get them without discussing them with each other. For some reason my husband really, really doesn't want me to get anything on my shoulders, so I've agreed to that request. When he said he wanted a full sleeve I was dubious, but he involved me in the design process and we figured out something that we both loved. 

We don't "own each other's bodies" but we have agreed to always consult each other before making permanent changes.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I'd like a tat that's a Q-code that when you scan it it calls in a bomb threat on your phone.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Don't dance around with the tattoo issue. You should be straight-forward with your wife and tell her that you don't find them attractive. If you don't, you just don't. As you can see, she continued to get them because you are "wishy washy" with your opinion. She will have more if you don't tell her and be honest with it.

I don't have any tattoos as my husband doesn't like them. I did not have any tattoos when I married him and don't have any. He's the one who I want to find me physically attractive. So, no tattoos for me. You need to be honest.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

OP. Could you provide general location, subject matter and size of this tattoo for clarity?

"My body" poster. Op has stated he does not like them to his wife. At what point do you think he is justified in getting royally pizzed off?
One more? Hip/side tree thing? Half sleeves? Full sleeves? Face?


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

richie33 said:


> I always think of the people who go around judging people with tattoos are the same type of person who snickers when they see a gay couple or a mixed race family. Just my opinion.


I don't understand the comparison. A tattoo is a conscious choice. People don't choose their sexual orientation or ethnicity.

What I also don't get is people who put tattoos on skin that's exposed like hands, neck, face, etc. then complain that people look at them. Um... why did they tattoo that area if they didn't want people to see it?


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Runs like Dog said:


> So I was reading that tattoos can interfere with the operation of the new Apple Watch. Which is hysterically funny.


That *is *funny. I have also read that it is an auto-immune response by the body that keeps the ink particles suspended in the skin (as opposed to being absorbed into the body where the tattoo would disappear). The article I read said that some people with tattoos are having auto-immune issues and they think it may be related. Of course I know people with no tattoos and auto-immune issues but I thought that would be very sad and ironic to get a tattoo and have it cause you life long health issues.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

Roselyn said:


> Don't dance around with the tattoo issue. You should be straight-forward with your wife and tell her that you don't find them attractive. If you don't, you just don't. As you can see, she continued to get them because you are "wishy washy" with your opinion. She will have more if you don't tell her and be honest with it.
> 
> I don't have any tattoos as my husband doesn't like them. I did not have any tattoos when I married him and don't have any. He's the one who I want to find me physically attractive. So, no tattoos for me. You need to be honest.


I have been honest. She's been asking me for years and my answer hasn't changed. I don't like them and I think they are trashy. She finally asked me the day before if I would still find her attractive. I didn't answer her question but did say that we are two separate people and need to respect each others differences. She got the tattoo. She is very happy with it. I am happy that she is comfortable with herself. 

This is more evidence that we don't have a "one-flesh" marriage.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

committed_guy said:


> I have been honest. She's been asking me for years and my answer hasn't changed. I don't like them and I think they are trashy. She finally asked me the day before if I would still find her attractive. I didn't answer her question but did say that we are two separate people and need to respect each others differences. She got the tattoo. She is very happy with it. I am happy that she is comfortable with herself.
> 
> This is more evidence that we don't have a "one-flesh" marriage.


I understand that you feel that way about tattoos. Due to that you won't find the tattoo attractive. OK. 

But what is your honest answer to her question? About her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

committed_guy said:


> This is more evidence that we don't have a "one-flesh" marriage.


Was there a mutual understanding that you did? 

What does that mean to you, exactly? How about haircuts, eating patterns, work out routines?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

WorkingWife said:


> That *is *funny. I have also read that it is an auto-immune response by the body that keeps the ink particles suspended in the skin (as opposed to being absorbed into the body where the tattoo would disappear). The article I read said that some people with tattoos are having auto-immune issues and they think it may be related. Of course I know people with no tattoos and auto-immune issues but I thought that would be very sad and ironic to get a tattoo and have it cause you life long health issues.


Hmm that's rough. I have innumerable tattoos that were registration marks to align the particle accelerator used on my cancer. It kind of mucked with my immune system (the radiation) which has never been the same. Good with the bad I guess.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> I don't understand the comparison. A tattoo is a conscious choice. People don't choose their sexual orientation or ethnicity.
> 
> What I also don't get is people who put tattoos on skin that's exposed like hands, neck, face, etc. then complain that people look at them. Um... why did they tattoo that area if they didn't want people to see it?


People choose to date people of different ethnicity. My comment was how weird it is to go around judging people. So if you went to the beach wearing a bathing suit that was not flattering to others but you loved it and felt comfortable wearing it....you wouldn't complain that people should keep there opinions to themselves about what you wear?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

WorkingWife said:


> I don't understand the comparison. A tattoo is a conscious choice. People don't choose their sexual orientation or ethnicity.
> 
> What I also don't get is people who put tattoos on skin that's exposed like hands, neck, face, etc. then complain that people look at them. Um... why did they tattoo that area if they didn't want people to see it?


I think it's a valid comparison. People who'd make judgments about someone's character based on assumptions about their physical appearance. Whether that be because of ethnicity, scars, tattoos, weight...whatever.

Nobody likes a Judgy McJudgerson


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Fozzy said:


> I think it's a valid comparison. People who'd make judgments about someone's character based on assumptions about their physical appearance. Whether that be because of ethnicity, scars, tattoos, weight...whatever.
> 
> Nobody likes a Judgy McJudgerson


Nobody covered in tattoos does, at least. But they are the person who consciously chose to cover their skin in tattoos. How many times does the average person's taste in clothes, hair, makeup, etc. change over a lifetime? Yet they put a permanent design on their skin where it shows. I judge that as not too bright. 

I agree with the OP that I think tattoos look trashy, though some of my favorite people are covered in them. The only flaw with their "character" is repeating mistakes. They lament how they no longer like the tattoos they got 10 years ago, but go out and get another one ...that they probably won't like in 10 years. And then complain that people stare at them.

And don't forget - here you are judging those who judge. We all make judgments. Would you let a total stranger watch your kids or house? Of course not (I hope!). If you have a terrible meal at a restaurant would you go back for more? You use your JUDGMENT to filter people all the time.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

richie33 said:


> ...So if you went to the beach wearing a bathing suit that was not flattering to others but you loved it and felt comfortable wearing it....you wouldn't complain that people should keep there opinions to themselves about what you wear?


In general, I don't expect strangers to share their negative opinions with me. But if I wore a bathing suit that other people though was ugly - I would want to know so I could stop wearing it, and I would no longer love it and feel comfortable wearing it.

If I *deliberately *wore something that I knew would evoke strong negative opinions in others, No, I would not be surprised or complain when they did a double take or stared at me. Why else would I wear something like that unless I wanted that kind of attention?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Public displays of affection evoke this same feeling in people. Especially when you factor in biracial couples, homosexual couples, etc. My wife and I (biracial couple) have gotten stares before just for holding hands in the wrong shopping mall. Yes, we CHOSE to publicly display affection. Yes, we CHOSE to go to a shopping mall frequented by elderly midwesterners. And no, I don't think I was wrong to do so. They certainly did.

I see it the same way. Some people don't like tattoos, and feel so self righteous about it that they're compelled to talk down to people (for the record, I do not have any tattoos). Some people have the exact same reaction for hair color, skin color, weight, PDA's, or any other physical attribute. 

Bottom line is, if it doesn't affect me personally, I take a policy of keeping my mouth shut about it.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> In general, I don't expect strangers to share their negative opinions with me. But if I wore a bathing suit that other people though was ugly - I would want to know so I could stop wearing it, and I would no longer love it and feel comfortable wearing it.
> 
> If I *deliberately *wore something that I knew would evoke strong negative opinions in others, No, I would not be surprised or complain when they did a double take or stared at me. Why else would I wear something like that unless I wanted that kind of attention?


You care too much what others think. That fine if thats the way you want to live. No one would make me feel uncomfortable about something I love. I never heard anyone of my heavily tattooed friends complain about a tattoo they got 10 years ago.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

WorkingWife said:


> Nobody covered in tattoos does, at least. But they are the person who consciously chose to cover their skin in tattoos. How many times does the average person's taste in clothes, hair, makeup, etc. change over a lifetime? Yet they put a permanent design on their skin where it shows. I judge that as not too bright.
> 
> I agree with the OP that I think tattoos look trashy, though some of my favorite people are covered in them. The only flaw with their "character" is repeating mistakes. They lament how they no longer like the tattoos they got 10 years ago, but go out and get another one ...that they probably won't like in 10 years. And then complain that people stare at them.
> 
> And don't forget - here you are judging those who judge. We all make judgments. Would you let a total stranger watch your kids or house? Of course not (I hope!). If you have a terrible meal at a restaurant would you go back for more? You use your JUDGMENT to filter people all the time.


I don't regret any of my tattoos. I know some people who have, and either got them removed or covered up. Why should I care or think less of them? Why should you?

I know people who will never buy a new car, yet complain about maintenance and keep buying used cars. 

Thing is, I DON'T see them as "not too bright" nor as repeatedly making mistakes. I see them as people with a preference, making choices based on their preferences.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

What about plastic surgery? 

Is that a mistake? A style choice? Not too bright? Making a judgment is OK, not even knowing why it was done? What if it's reconstructive? How would I know? 

Did you know many people get tattoos to cover scars or blemishes. As memorials. To commemorate a battle with cancer or addiction? That'd be pretty stupid though, wouldn't it? And if I tell them so im not [email protected]
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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