# Compatibility concern



## embo (Mar 20, 2018)

Hi

I have a gf of 3 or 4 years. We live together. We met when she was still married and I was in the middle of getting divorced.

I am 46, she is 42 - so no spring chickens

I wouldn't say I was the cause of her getting divorced, she was unhappy and had multiple infidelities.

We lived in separate countries for nearly 2 years and had a phone / SMS relationship. Eventually she moved back here to Cape Town where she is from, and we started a formal relationship.

After about 6 months she moved in with me.

Quite early on I realised that she was really combative. Very quickly becomes very antagonistic if you 'criticise' her. Just asking if she picked up the coffee she said she was going to makes her defensive.

She is very unreliable, she never does what she says she will, which if you have experience of, is very frustrating.

She has a job, and works all the time, never coming home when she says she is going to, hardly ever coming away on weekends with me and my daughter.

The house is in my name, and I pay the mortgage, medical aid, insurance etc.. She contributes by paying the water and electricity bill. 

Overall I am paying significantly more than she does. I can afford to, but I don't get the feeling she recognizes or appreciates that. 

Right now she is screaming at me because last night she arrived an hour and a half after she said she would, and walked in moaning about her day. Like she seems to do a lot. I blew up and went and locked myself in the bedroom to just stay away from her. 

Still screaming at me. help.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Might not be a bad idea to grab your balls from her purse when she’s not looking. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

You are quite right. You had nothing to do with her divorce.

My advice .... just get out. And stay out. Find someone else.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Now you know why she was unhappy in her marriage. She simply cannot be happy and makes everyone around her miserable. As was mentioned, you need to take your balls back. Tell her she has to leave because you refuse to live this way, and give her time frame to find a place to live, a month or two. She will promise to change, and you will have that time frame to see if she really does change. But then, if you don't make her move because you think she has changed, she'll go right back to being herself again.

Did you really need people to tell you this?

I'm not sure what she is supposed to appreciate about you paying the majority of the bills. There are two of you and only one of her. Why should she pay more than her fair share or be grateful to you for paying your own fair share?


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## embo (Mar 20, 2018)

>>Did you really need people to tell you this?

You're right. Even as I was writing it I was thinking "this is ridiculous"


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## EasyPartner (Apr 7, 2014)

Dude.

Your post reads like a list of reasons why you want her gone. Do you?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Why did you think that a woman who had cheated multiple times would be a good choice? And yes you were part of the cause of her marriage ending, although her ex husband is better off without her.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

You have not mentioned _liking_ anything about her.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

Sounds like it's time for her to move out. Behavior like that certainly would make anyone not want to be around that person. It's selfish & inconsiderate behavior. She's not compatible with lots of people, not just you.


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## Um Excuse Me (Feb 3, 2018)

I would get rid of her.....SOON......No p***y is worth that........


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

She's just a girlfriend. This is not a healthy or happy relationship. No need to stay in it!!!


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

Well now you know why she is divorced.!! 
The question you need to answer is when will she be
living on her own. If you put her out be careful and 
have someone or something ( RECORDER) near by
because she might get a little bit more crazy on you.
46 is not old just mature.I know plenty of people older
who still date. Just do not let them move in next time.


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## Luminous (Jan 14, 2018)

StarFires said:


> I'm not sure what she is supposed to appreciate about you paying the majority of the bills. There are two of you and only one of her. Why should she pay more than her fair share or be grateful to you for paying your own fair share?


She should be understanding that she does not have to pay rent, or contribute towards a mortgage, that she is essentially getting a free ride, and still behaving in an inappropriate manner.

Whilst my circumstances are different, THIS I understand completely. 

I do agree with the others here. Draw a line in the sand, take a stand, and if that is not respected you have your answer. But for god sake whatever you do, do not cave in. You will never recover


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Might not be a bad idea to grab your balls from her purse when she’s not looking.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


And let them heal....they've been chewed on quite a bit.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

The crazy ones are best in bed. I hope she was worth it....


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Bananapeel said:


> The crazy ones are best in bed. I hope she was worth it....


True I have allowed one or two to stick around long enough the enjoy the craziness, always knowing the day would come when they would be sent packing. When it stops being fun. That is when it ends.


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## 482 (Mar 14, 2017)

Why....just why. Get your balls back. Stop picking ****ty partners. How will you ever trust a woman who cheated on her husband with you. How will you ever be happy with a woman who constantly disrespects you. Locked in a room seriously. Get ****ing mad and show it already. If she don’t like it show her the door SMH


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Just ask yourself this. What would the man you want your daughter to look up to do? 

I think you should kick her to the curb. Before you get any type of legal or financial connection to this lady.

And don't hook up with someone who has infidelity issues. Unless of course you want to be her next sucker


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