# Unhappy now my affair is over, possibly depressed, what can i do?



## laur31

Ive been with my husband for 10 years now im 31 he's 38. Married 2 years after our first date. We now have 3 daughters aged 9, 7 and a baby girl 10 months old, have our own house, We're in a stable relationship and the love is there for the most part.
Ive always been into keeping fit and looking after myself even after giving birth, while my husband has let himself go over the years, he used to have a nice body but now he is quite big, 46" waist, XXXL clothes. Im still a small size 8-10 dress. Our sex life is ok, i havnt enjoyed making love properly with him most of the time, i mean 5 minutes and he would be finished, id orgasm maybe once or twice every month and thats because i was on top, he likes being on top all the time unless he has had stress at work.

At the start of the recession i lost my job, luckily he has a very well paid career so i havnt been in work for over 3 years. So then i started going to the gym 5 times/week instead of 1/2 times when my children were at school. I met a gorgeous guy Tom now aged 23 who has the fittest athletic body ive ever seen and we get on really well more than ive ever had with anyone in my life.

I resisted sleeping with him for months until i gave in, i was sexually frustrated and the passion with Tom was out of this world i absolutely loved it. So then i was going to the gym 2 times a week, and 3 times at his place while my husband thought i was at the gym, he has never suspected a thing. I expected to feel guilty for cheating as its something ive always despised and hated people who do it but the sex with Tom was really, literally mind blowing. He is so energetic and within a few weeks he knew exactly how to push all my buttons i was orgasming every few minutes and double/triple orgasms it was just so intense.

After about 18 months the pill failed me, i fell pregnant with my now baby daughter. I went for an abortion but on the day at sitting in the clinic i broke down crying i couldnt go through with it incase it was my husbands. So i stopped seeing Tom he was devestated he finally admitted that he loved me, i stopped going to the gym when my tummy became noticable so Tom wouldnt know. I went for a scan to find out my due date, friday night was with my husband, following mon,wed,friday with Tom, saturday with husband, conception was on the thursday. My heart sank into my stomach. My husband decided to get the snip. Stephanie was born healthy, and now im noticing more every day her eyes and lovely cute smiles are reminding me of Toms eyes and smile.

I decided to get back to the gym, hoping to get back with Tom. But now he's engaged to some 20 year old who is 4 months pregnant. EVerytime i see him in the gym i long for him but i cant have him, ive tried flirting and he knows i want him. Im now getting to the point i wouldnt mind leaing my husband for Tom, if i tell Tom what has happened and if he wants to get a DNA test done.

Tom may hate me for it though, he seems to really love his girlfriend, and my life will turn upside down if my husband knew.

I am happy with my marriage, my husband is a lovely person everyone likes him, but his body turns me off i have to make sure the lights are off before he gets naked just so i can make love to him, and he doesnt seem to want sex much unlile Tom who made me feel he couldnt get enough of me. I miss that feeling i wish my husband was like it, i even keep fit for him so he finds me physically attractive and i know he likes it as he always asks me to wear tight mini dresses when we're out with friends he likes to show me off.

Yet i feel unhappy even though i have a lovely family and children i love to bits. Its just the sex, we make love maybe once every few days at most which is pleasurable but i rarely orgasm as he cant hold out for long before climaxing then he goes soft just as im getting into it, Tom used to go for a LOT longer and he would be hard again within 15 minutes then he would last even longer! He was unbelievable. I dont find my husband attractive anymore, its only his lovely personality that makes me feel just about happy enough being in this relationship.

I want Tom more than anything, but he isnt available.

Sorry for a long message, i just have no one to talk to about this as i hate having all this secrecy bottled up. I want my marriage to work i just dont know what to do without anyone getting hurt.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

first thing is tell your husband


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## Almostrecovered

prepare to duck


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## laur31

Im not telling my husband, i know it would be the right thing to do, but our marriage would be over, i would be better off slitting my wrists at least then no one will get hurt and my family will be safe.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

you dont think he deserves to know?
to make an informed decision?
to know he has possibly been exposed to disease?
how incredibly selfish.


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## Almostrecovered

so why do you care that your marriage would be over? You don't love your husband enough to tell him the truth or be faithful, you don't respect him enough to tell him the truth or be faithful, you don't even have the decency to allow him to make an informed decision. 

so if you don't love or respect your husband you must want to stay married for the financial support

guess what that makes you?


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## canttrustu

laur31 said:


> Im not telling my husband, i know it would be the right thing to do, but our marriage would be over, i would be better off slitting my wrists at least then no one will get hurt and my family will be safe.


Well, if you're not going to tell your husband then what is your question? Are you asking us how to get "tom" back? I dont see those answers coming from this forum. If it's your family you are concerned about and not just your own greed then you will stop this, tell your husband and take what you have coming. He may be able to work through it and forgive you or he may put you on the curb. At this point your husband is the one with all the rights, you forfeited yours.


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## laur31

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> you dont think he deserves to know?
> to make an informed decision?
> to know he has possibly been exposed to disease?
> how incredibly selfish.


Maybe if he was a better husband i wouldnt have been selfish in the first place?
He hasnt been exposed to a disease.

He doesnt need to know, it makes no difference. Ive been incredibly discreet, none of my friends know and no one can find out. My husbands name is on Stephanies birth certificate, he is her father.

I was playing safe i was on the pill. She could still even be my husbands, though i dont think she is as her eyes and smile look too much like Tom.

No one needs to get hurt from my mistake of trying to be happy.


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## Gratitude

You're story and attitude seems a little unbelievable.

Are you for real?


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## laur31

Almostrecovered said:


> so why do you care that your marriage would be over? You don't love your husband enough to tell him the truth or be faithful, you don't respect him enough to tell him the truth or be faithful, you don't even have the decency to allow him to make an informed decision.
> 
> so if you don't love or respect your husband you must want to stay married for the financial support
> 
> guess what that makes you?


I used to respond to people exactly the same way.
Hope it doesnt happen to you, that youll ever end up cheating no matter what the reason.


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## Almostrecovered

so why are you even here then? do you just wish to tweak those who have experienced the pain of infidelity?

If your husband is so bad then why are you staying? Gee, do you think that he isn't as bad as you claim because in order to justify to yourself that an affair is okay you have to vilify the man you are destroying?


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## laur31

Gratitude said:


> You're story and attitude seems a little unbelievable.
> 
> Are you for real?


... are you for real?


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## laur31

Almostrecovered said:


> so why are you even here then? do you just wish to tweak those who have experienced the pain of infidelity?
> 
> If your husband is so bad then why are you staying? Gee, do you think that he isn't as bad as you claim because in order to justify to yourself that an affair is okay you have to vilify the man you are destroying?


You may have read my post, but you most certainly havnt understood it.

What a load of waste of time this was. Bye


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## Almostrecovered

laur31 said:


> I used to respond to people exactly the same way.
> Hope it doesnt happen to you, that youll ever end up cheating no matter what the reason.



no it probably won't happen to me because it's happened on the flip side to me twice by both my father and my wife- I don't have the desire to inflict one of the worst pains imaginable

btw- you are putting your daughter in danger, it is possible her medical family hsitory will come into play and she could get the wrong treatment or lack of treatment as a result.


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## Gratitude

I'm not sure you're story is true ... sorry if I'm wrong. Doesn't add up for me. You just seem to want to start arguments and defend. You don't actually want anything. Just looks like you're firing everyone up.


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## Almostrecovered

laur31 said:


> What a load of waste of time this was. Bye


you got that right


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## bandit.45

You are a liar.

You are an adulteress.

You are selfish.

You are immature.

You are kidding yourself if you think Tom really loves you.

You are cheating your husband, who has done nothing wrong other than get chubby, out of a life and future. 

Tell your husband what you did. Get the kid DNA tested. Let your husband divorce you and go be with someone who will love and respect him for the good man he is.

Do something right once in your pathetic life.


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## Gratitude

possible troll ...


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## Agast84

laur31 said:


> Ive been with my husband for 10 years now im 31 he's 38. Married 2 years after our first date. We now have 3 daughters aged 9, 7 and a baby girl 10 months old, have our own house, We're in a stable relationship and the* love is there for the most part.*
> Ive always been into keeping fit and looking after myself even after giving birth, while my husband has let himself go over the years, he used to have a nice body but now he is quite big, 46" waist, XXXL clothes. Im still a small size 8-10 dress. Our sex life is ok, i havnt enjoyed making love properly with him most of the time, i mean 5 minutes and he would be finished, id orgasm maybe once or twice every month and thats because i was on top, he likes being on top all the time unless he has had stress at work.
> 
> At the start of the recession i lost my job, luckily *he has a very well paid career so i havnt been in work for over 3 years*. So then i started going to the gym 5 times/week instead of 1/2 times when my children were at school. I met a gorgeous guy Tom now aged 23 who has the fittest athletic body ive ever seen and we get on really well more than ive ever had with anyone in my life.
> 
> I resisted sleeping with him for months until i gave in, i was sexually frustrated and the passion with Tom was out of this world i absolutely loved it. So then i was going to the gym 2 times a week, and 3 times at his place while my husband thought i was at the gym, he has never suspected a thing. I expected to feel guilty for cheating as its something ive always despised and hated people who do it but the sex with Tom was really, literally mind blowing. He is so energetic and within a few weeks he knew exactly how to push all my buttons i was orgasming every few minutes and double/triple orgasms it was just so intense.
> 
> After about 18 months the pill failed me, i fell pregnant with my now baby daughter. I went for an abortion but on the day at sitting in the clinic i broke down crying i couldnt go through with it incase it was my husbands. So i stopped seeing Tom he was devestated he finally admitted that he loved me, i stopped going to the gym when my tummy became noticable so Tom wouldnt know. I went for a scan to find out my due date, friday night was with my husband, following mon,wed,friday with Tom, saturday with husband, conception was on the thursday. My heart sank into my stomach. My husband decided to get the snip. Stephanie was born healthy, and now im noticing more every day her eyes and lovely cute smiles are reminding me of Toms eyes and smile.
> 
> I decided to get back to the gym, hoping to get back with Tom. But now he's engaged to some 20 year old who is 4 months pregnant. EVerytime i see him in the gym i long for him but i cant have him, ive tried flirting and he knows i want him. Im now getting to the point i wouldnt mind leaing my husband for Tom, if i tell Tom what has happened and if he wants to get a DNA test done.
> 
> Tom may hate me for it though, he seems to really love his girlfriend, and my life will turn upside down if my husband knew.
> 
> I am happy with my marriage, my husband is a lovely person everyone likes him, but his body turns me off i have to make sure the lights are off before he gets naked just so i can make love to him, and he doesnt seem to want sex much unlile Tom who made me feel he couldnt get enough of me. I miss that feeling i wish my husband was like it, i even keep fit for him so he finds me physically attractive and i know he likes it as he always asks me to wear tight mini dresses when we're out with friends he likes to show me off.
> 
> Yet i feel unhappy even though i have a lovely family and children i love to bits. Its just the sex, we make love maybe once every few days at most which is pleasurable but i rarely orgasm as he cant hold out for long before climaxing then he goes soft just as im getting into it, Tom used to go for a LOT longer and he would be hard again within 15 minutes then he would last even longer! He was unbelievable. I dont find my husband attractive anymore, its only his lovely personality that makes me feel just about happy enough being in this relationship.
> 
> I want Tom more than anything, but he isnt available.
> 
> Sorry for a long message, i just have no one to talk to about this as i hate having all this secrecy bottled up. I want my marriage to work i just dont know what to do without anyone getting hurt.


My assessment, I am not trying to be mean, I promise.
First you say that the love is there, but what you really mean is that the love is there just not the sex you want.

On a main note, your husband is 15 years older than Tom. His weight, stress, sex-drive plays into this, possibly. At 23 now, Tom is likely a recent college grad now(assuming things are like most people). You also say your husband has a well paying job. Just my experience, but a job that can comfortably support a husband, wife(that doesn't need to work even after 3 years) and 2 or 3 kids is likely a job that requires more than 40hrs a week. I am by no means saying that this is an excuse for him being out of shape, but I am just imagining some people have busy schedules that don't allow for much free time. You had plenty of free time without a job. 

As far as turning the lights out, that just seems hurtful. Have you addressed any of this with you husband? Ever? You are manipulating your husband to remove your responsibility and guilt for what you have have done and how you feel. You sound obsessed with Tom. Change gyms.

If your husband is as good as you say he is,you are doing him wrong as a wife. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Think about that, really hard.


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## Agast84

I wish trolls would stay away from sites like this. If OP is a troll.


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## Gratitude

Agast84 said:


> I wish trolls would stay away from sites like this. If OP is a troll.


I don't know if the OP is a troll or not, but they did not like any advice given so I wouldn't waste your time.

Some people come on this site to listen and learn, take and leave what they need, and sometimes you need a thick skin to deal with what you might not want to hear.

Some people come here to validate what they want and don't get it so they leave.


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## sinnister

His career supported her lifestyle of not having to work, cheating, and "playing safe by being on the pill" LOL.

Ya...cause that's playing safe.

Run along troll.


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## 67flh

lady (and i use the term loosely)i wish i could write what i think, but i enjoy this place, don't want banned.


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## Thewife

What are you thinking? Is this marriage help forum or affair help forum? You have cheated you husband, Tom (b'cos you only want sex from him), you children, now want to hurt his fiance who is pregnant......stop pls, life is not all about sex, you can help to improve your husband's appearance and sex drive if you true to your marriage.


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## Agast84

Gratitude said:


> I don't know if the OP is a troll or not, but they did not like any advice given so I wouldn't waste your time.
> 
> Some people come on this site to listen and learn, take and leave what they need, and sometimes you need a thick skin to deal with what you might not want to hear.
> 
> Some people come here to validate what they want and don't get it so they leave.


:iagree: and expect it to happen sometimes. Either way, sad.


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## Shaggy

laur31 said:


> Im not telling my husband, i know it would be the right thing to do, but our marriage would be over, i would be better off slitting my wrists at least then no one will get hurt and my family will be safe.


Your marriage is already over.

You cheated on your husband and family and had another mans baby.

You no longer love your husband - don't you think he hasn't noticed you no longer love him? That you no longer look at him that way.

Oh, but you're happy to let him raise another man's kid. To put up with having a baby tying him down, to put with the expense and the work.

As for Tom, you realize you are just an easy lay for him? A married woman who he easily got to cheat for him.

I would like to say something helpful here - but you already refused to do the right thing. To tell you husband he is raising another man's child and that you are a remorseless cheater.


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## Shaggy

laur31 said:


> Maybe if he was a better husband i wouldnt have been selfish in the first place?
> He hasnt been exposed to a disease.
> 
> He doesnt need to know, it makes no difference. Ive been incredibly discreet, none of my friends know and no one can find out. My husbands name is on Stephanies birth certificate, he is her father.
> 
> I was playing safe i was on the pill. She could still even be my husbands, though i dont think she is as her eyes and smile look too much like Tom.
> 
> No one needs to get hurt from my mistake of trying to be happy.


You weren't decrete - YOU GOT KNOCKED UP 

you are having your husband raise another man's kid.

oh, and the only think you're feeling bad about is that Tom decided that he no longer wanted to continue cheating with you, especially after you showed how you couldn't keep from getting knocked up by him.

Guess Tom figured out someone who would cheat with him on her husband, and have her husband raise another man's kid - what just not the kind of woman he would want in his life- seriously you're actions and morals make you very unlikable and undesirable.

So come clean, get the kid DNA tested and tell your husband. So he can divorce you and take HIS kids and move on. He's still got time in life to find someone worthy of him.


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## michzz

Let's see. 

It's your husband's fault because, well, he's fat!

You never would have dreamed you would cheat and you're so against it, but dang, that guy really rang my bell! So I'm ok with it now.

You have a child with your cheating partner and let your husband think it is his? and because your husband's name is on the birth certificate he'll never know? Have yo ever heard of blood types!!

Your daughter will find out some day too.

Your husband supports you 100 percent.


But wait, he's fat!

Never mind any of my comments, that makes it all ok.

Not really, I just wanted to show the stark truth of the bubble you're in.

Trust me, many of us want way better sex than we're getting at home. The thing is, you leave and start over first. You cannot disrespect the man you married, the life you fake up leading like this and get away with it scot free.

There is a huge price, you haven't even begun to pay that price yet. Your husband already has.


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## borninapril

I'm not going to go the route of what other people have told you, but you are not in love with this guy, it was just the sex. If you only saw him at the gym and his apartment then you really don't have a good idea of who he really is, your in the "fog". Not to mention that if he would have no problem hooking up with a woman from his gym just for sex, then your probably not the only one.


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## DvlsAdvc8

laur31 said:


> Maybe if he was a better husband i wouldnt have been selfish in the first place?
> He hasnt been exposed to a disease.
> 
> He doesnt need to know, it makes no difference. Ive been incredibly discreet, none of my friends know and no one can find out. My husbands name is on Stephanies birth certificate, he is her father.
> 
> I was playing safe i was on the pill. She could still even be my husbands, though i dont think she is as her eyes and smile look too much like Tom.
> 
> No one needs to get hurt from my mistake of trying to be happy.


Get your husband to work out with you. Fitness plays a large part in having sexual stamina, and it would also help address your problem with his appearance.

But you also have to realize that he's gotten to the age that everyone starts slipping, and he's never going to have a 23 year old body again... and pretty soon, you aren't likely to either... even working out, age still wins in the end.

There's always the possibility of getting into swinging. You sound fine with everything but the sexual side of your marriage.

Sorry, but speaking as a guy, Tom almost certainly saw you as piece of tail. He's not gonna fall in love with someone significantly older than him, married with kids. Accept that it was just sex.

Oh, and what's your number? j/k


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## sigma1299

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Oh, and what's your number? j/k


Damn dude - I see the j/k at the end of that post but that's just begging to get cyber lynched by the betrayed spouses here.

A modicum of deference to the emotional trauma that most here have suffered is always in order - especially from those of us on the cheating side.


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## GreenEyes

I think this post and the post by DvlsAdvc8 sound awfully similar....


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## Gratitude

I think there's a few around today that are a bit iffy ...


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## Entropy3000

laur31 said:


> Ive been with my husband for 10 years now im 31 he's 38. Married 2 years after our first date. We now have 3 daughters aged 9, 7 and a baby girl 10 months old, have our own house, We're in a stable relationship and the love is there for the most part.
> Ive always been into keeping fit and looking after myself even after giving birth, while my husband has let himself go over the years, he used to have a nice body but now he is quite big, 46" waist, XXXL clothes. Im still a small size 8-10 dress. Our sex life is ok, i havnt enjoyed making love properly with him most of the time, i mean 5 minutes and he would be finished, id orgasm maybe once or twice every month and thats because i was on top, he likes being on top all the time unless he has had stress at work.
> 
> At the start of the recession i lost my job, luckily he has a very well paid career so i havnt been in work for over 3 years. So then i started going to the gym 5 times/week instead of 1/2 times when my children were at school. I met a gorgeous guy Tom now aged 23 who has the fittest athletic body ive ever seen and we get on really well more than ive ever had with anyone in my life.
> 
> I resisted sleeping with him for months until i gave in, i was sexually frustrated and the passion with Tom was out of this world i absolutely loved it. So then i was going to the gym 2 times a week, and 3 times at his place while my husband thought i was at the gym, he has never suspected a thing. I expected to feel guilty for cheating as its something ive always despised and hated people who do it but the sex with Tom was really, literally mind blowing. He is so energetic and within a few weeks he knew exactly how to push all my buttons i was orgasming every few minutes and double/triple orgasms it was just so intense.
> 
> After about 18 months the pill failed me, i fell pregnant with my now baby daughter. I went for an abortion but on the day at sitting in the clinic i broke down crying i couldnt go through with it incase it was my husbands. So i stopped seeing Tom he was devestated he finally admitted that he loved me, i stopped going to the gym when my tummy became noticable so Tom wouldnt know. I went for a scan to find out my due date, friday night was with my husband, following mon,wed,friday with Tom, saturday with husband, conception was on the thursday. My heart sank into my stomach. My husband decided to get the snip. Stephanie was born healthy, and now im noticing more every day her eyes and lovely cute smiles are reminding me of Toms eyes and smile.
> 
> I decided to get back to the gym, hoping to get back with Tom. But now he's engaged to some 20 year old who is 4 months pregnant. EVerytime i see him in the gym i long for him but i cant have him, ive tried flirting and he knows i want him. Im now getting to the point i wouldnt mind leaing my husband for Tom, if i tell Tom what has happened and if he wants to get a DNA test done.
> 
> Tom may hate me for it though, he seems to really love his girlfriend, and my life will turn upside down if my husband knew.
> 
> I am happy with my marriage, my husband is a lovely person everyone likes him, but his body turns me off i have to make sure the lights are off before he gets naked just so i can make love to him, and he doesnt seem to want sex much unlile Tom who made me feel he couldnt get enough of me. I miss that feeling i wish my husband was like it, i even keep fit for him so he finds me physically attractive and i know he likes it as he always asks me to wear tight mini dresses when we're out with friends he likes to show me off.
> 
> Yet i feel unhappy even though i have a lovely family and children i love to bits. Its just the sex, we make love maybe once every few days at most which is pleasurable but i rarely orgasm as he cant hold out for long before climaxing then he goes soft just as im getting into it, Tom used to go for a LOT longer and he would be hard again within 15 minutes then he would last even longer! He was unbelievable. I dont find my husband attractive anymore, its only his lovely personality that makes me feel just about happy enough being in this relationship.
> 
> I want Tom more than anything, but he isnt available.
> 
> Sorry for a long message, i just have no one to talk to about this as i hate having all this secrecy bottled up. I want my marriage to work i just dont know what to do without anyone getting hurt.


Tell your husband everything. Including that he is a distant second to Tom.

What he will do with that information is anyones guess.

You have no remorse. I actually think you should divorce your husband and find the next best guy at the gym.


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## Entropy3000

laur31 said:


> Maybe if he was a better husband i wouldnt have been selfish in the first place?
> He hasnt been exposed to a disease.
> 
> He doesnt need to know, it makes no difference. Ive been incredibly discreet, none of my friends know and no one can find out. My husbands name is on Stephanies birth certificate, he is her father.
> 
> I was playing safe i was on the pill. She could still even be my husbands, though i dont think she is as her eyes and smile look too much like Tom.
> 
> *No one needs to get hurt from my mistake of trying to be happy.*


Too late. They are hurt. Whether you tell your husband or not your marriage has been destroyed. 

Yes it has. You look at your new child as bieng Toms. It probably is. But if it is not you will still see the baby as a bond between you and the OM. 

You were a very selfish person to act on this. You are blaming your husband for being a bad husband as an excuse for banging another guy. Just your current thoughts a proof that you, not your husband have destroyed the marriage. You are still cheating on your husband.

How much longer before you bang the next guy?


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## Entropy3000

laur31 said:


> Maybe if he was a better husband i wouldnt have been selfish in the first place?
> He hasnt been exposed to a disease.
> 
> He doesnt need to know, it makes no difference. Ive been incredibly discreet, none of my friends know and no one can find out. My husbands name is on Stephanies birth certificate, he is her father.
> 
> I was playing safe i was on the pill. She could still even be my husbands, though i dont think she is as her eyes and smile look too much like Tom.
> 
> *No one needs to get hurt from my mistake of trying to be happy.*


Too late. They are hurt. Whether you tell your husband or not your marriage has been destroyed. 

Yes it has. You look at your new child as bieng Toms. It probably is. But if it is not you will still see the baby as a bond between you and the OM. 

You were a very selfish person to act on this. You are blaming your husband for being a bad husband as an excuse for banging another guy. Just your current thoughts a proof that you, not your husband have destroyed the marriage. You are still cheating on your husband.

How much longer before you bang the next guy?

What is your real purpose for posting here? What are you looking for?


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## Entropy3000

Gratitude said:


> possible troll ...


This was a drive by, drop a grenade to antagonize folks. Whether any part of the story involved real people or events or imaginded ... who knows. 

There really was no request for help. Maybe they are hoping for PMs with contact information. 

That post looks like something one might post on an infidelity site looking to hookup.


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## Complexity

Gratitude said:


> I'm not sure you're story is true ... sorry if I'm wrong. Doesn't add up for me. You just seem to want to start arguments and defend. You don't actually want anything. Just looks like you're firing everyone up.


finally someone's took notice


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## Jellybeans

Idiot.


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## Gratitude

Entropy3000 said:


> This was a drive by, drop a grenade to antagonize folks. Whether any part of the story involved real people or events or imaginded ... who knows.
> 
> There reall was no request for help. Maybe they are hoping for PMs with contact information.
> 
> That post looks like something one might post on an infidelity site looking to hookup.


This thread has taken on a life of it's own without the OP!

They're still logged on though ... just drop a bomb and kaboom!


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## Almostrecovered

since the thread is already dead....


might as well add some more misery to your lives

20 Sad Puppies That Will Ruin Your Day


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## Lon

laur31, if you are a troll, PFO.

If you are real, deal with the criticism, listen to the constructive comments and realize like TheWife said, this is a marriage help forum not an affair help forum.


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## GreenEyes

Almostrecovered said:


> since the thread is already dead....
> 
> 
> might as well add some more misery to your lives
> 
> 20 Sad Puppies That Will Ruin Your Day


#5 and 15 awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Cutest puppies ever!!!!


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## sigma1299

Almostrecovered said:


> since the thread is already dead....
> 
> 
> might as well add some more misery to your lives
> 
> 20 Sad Puppies That Will Ruin Your Day


There's some awesome avatar fodder.


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## okeydokie

Almostrecovered said:


> since the thread is already dead....
> 
> 
> might as well add some more misery to your lives
> 
> 20 Sad Puppies That Will Ruin Your Day


 i am number 5


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## Almostrecovered

I love #13


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## GreenEyes

Almostrecovered said:


> I love #13


That one's adorable too, looks like the dog my grandma used to have, I loved that dog! Actually they are all cute haha I'm a sucker for animals


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## bandit.45

OP was either a troll or a flyby wayward looking for validation.


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## Entropy3000

GreenEyes said:


> #5 and 15 awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Cutest puppies ever!!!!


Those too really jumped out at me. I confess in both cases I would engage with them. Yes I would get out of my car and try to not get the dog run over.


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## GreenEyes

Entropy3000 said:


> Those too really jumped out at me. I confess in both cases I would engage with them. Yes I would get out of my car and try to not get the dog run over.


On my way home from work last summer there was a dog in the middle of the highway during rush hour...I turned my car so that traffic couldn't get past, got out of my car, picked up the dog (which was a big dog lol) and put him in my car, since there are not many houses along this highway I was able to find his home...I've done this probably 5 different times, once for the same dog lol. Like I said, I'm a sucker for animals...or just crazy :crazy: haha


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## CandieGirl

Such a load of rubbish...'double and triple orgasming'...pfff.


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## kallywana

lf you are expecting any one to give a pat on the back, then smile and tell you it is ok you are in the wrong forum. Confess to your God, husband and kids and you will be happy.


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## chillymorn

LOL narsastic b*t*h


getting knocked up by some young kid and then letting your husband foot the bill. hope it was worth it. now you have to live the rest of your life knowing your true charachater.


I hear the bus a comming ............... the karma bus that is. watch out its going to hit you someday


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

CandieGirl said:


> Such a load of rubbish...'double and triple orgasming'...pfff.


are we changing your name to green-eyed monster 

lol
j/k
i think


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## Confused_and_bitter

GreenEyes said:


> I think this post and the post by DvlsAdvc8 sound awfully similar....


I thought exactly the same thing!


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## CandieGirl

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> are we changing your name to green-eyed monster
> 
> lol
> j/k
> i think


Ha ha...when I do get sex, this is me...LOL...

I wish these posts would get pulled, honestly. The same with dead threads. Delete them, Mods!


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## DvlsAdvc8

CandieGirl said:


> Such a load of rubbish...'double and triple orgasming'...pfff.


I attest to the fact they exist. Not bragging... I think some women are just extra sensitive or more in tune with it... dunno. Some time back I had a bout of what I guess is called delayed ejaculation where I just would never orgasm or take forever to do so. So she'd orgasm and we'd rest and then go again in a few minutes, she'd orgasm, we'd rest and go again... until I finally went... or less often, never did.

And that's not even counting orgasms via oral sex.

Regardless, its a workout, and if you're out of shape as the guy, that probably isn't gonna happen.

I've never heard of someone falling in love with sexual vigor though. You just want to keep having sex with them. lol


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## DvlsAdvc8

chillymorn said:


> LOL narsastic b*t*h


Narcissistic.


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## DvlsAdvc8

sigma1299 said:


> Damn dude - I see the j/k at the end of that post but that's just begging to get cyber lynched by the betrayed spouses here.
> 
> A modicum of deference to the emotional trauma that most here have suffered is always in order - especially from those of us on the cheating side.


Oh I've already been cyber-lynched... I'm used to it by now. Honestly, I thought it was half-funny and half-slight... as in being "easy".

The betrayed spoused might even appreciate it in that perpsective.


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## DvlsAdvc8

GreenEyes said:


> I think this post and the post by DvlsAdvc8 sound awfully similar....


Sorry, not me. She checked out and got better sex and is now sprung on her young stud. Looks to me like her and hubby's value of health/athleticism has diverged and that's gonna cause problems.

She's apparently working hard to keeping hot and he's letting himself go. If he doesn't hit the gym she'll be checking out again soon.


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## Entropy3000

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Sorry, not me. She checked out and got better sex and is now sprung on her young stud. Looks to me like her and hubby's value of health/athleticism has diverged and that's gonna cause problems.
> 
> She's apparently working hard to keeping hot and he's letting himself go. If he doesn't hit the gym she'll be checking out again soon.


See the section on sex rank:

Married Man Sex Life

Somewhat of a chicken and egg thing with what you are saying. It may not be that the root is their health / athleticism at all. It may be that she just decided to move on and did what some women do to facilitate access to the most fit male. They up their sex rank.

She went after a young guy at the gym. Maybe this was not just about her idealism in being ... healthy. She wanted some strange. She thought a young guy was hot. She had no boundaries. She could have divorced and not cheated. The young guy found a vulnerable older married woman to bang. This likely would have occurred no matter if her husband was a stud or not. If it were real that is.

That said, I hope her husband does get into some self improvement, finds out about his cheating wife and has a better life without her.

There are some women at my gym that just strike me as a tad skanky and not there to get physically fit but rather to hookup. Less about health and more about scratching an itch.


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## Entropy3000

GreenEyes said:


> On my way home from work last summer there was a dog in the middle of the highway during rush hour...I turned my car so that traffic couldn't get past, got out of my car, picked up the dog (which was a big dog lol) and put him in my car, since there are not many houses along this highway I was able to find his home...I've done this probably 5 different times, once for the same dog lol. Like I said, I'm a sucker for animals...or just crazy :crazy: haha


This is me. I like that about me.


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## GreenEyes

Entropy3000 said:


> See the section on sex rank:
> 
> Married Man Sex Life
> 
> Somewhat of a chicken and egg thing with what you are saying. It may not be that the root is their health / athleticism at all. It may be that she just decided to move on and did what some women do to facilitate access to the most fit male. They up their sex rank.
> 
> She went after a young guy at the gym. Maybe this was not just about her idealism in being ... healthy. She wanted some strange. She thought a young guy was hot. She had no boundaries. She could have divorced and not cheated. The young got found a vulnerable older married woman to bang. This likely would have occurred no matter if her husband was a stud or not. If it were real that is.
> 
> That said, I hope her husband does get into some self improvement, finds out about his cheating wife and has a better life without her.
> 
> *There are some women at my gym that just strike me as a tad skanky and not there to get physically fit but rather to hookup. Less about health and more about scratching an itch.*


Those people annoy the hell out of me!!! I actually changed gyms because there were so many of those.


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## GreenEyes

Entropy3000 said:


> This is me. I like that about me.


Yup I have a crazy heart for animals


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## Entropy3000

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I attest to the fact they exist. Not bragging... I think some women are just extra sensitive or more in tune with it... dunno. Some time back I had a bout of what I guess is called delayed ejaculation where I just would never orgasm or take forever to do so. So she'd orgasm and we'd rest and then go again in a few minutes, she'd orgasm, we'd rest and go again... until I finally went... or less often, never did.
> 
> And that's not even counting orgasms via oral sex.
> 
> Regardless, its a workout, and if you're out of shape as the guy, that probably isn't gonna happen.
> 
> I've never heard of someone falling in love with sexual vigor though. You just want to keep having sex with them. lol


Many women have multiple orgasms.

I think the comment was not so much about whether many women have multiple orgasms but rather the need to even post that by the OP. Who may or may not even be a woman.


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## CandieGirl

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I attest to the fact they exist. Not bragging... I think some women are just extra sensitive or more in tune with it... dunno. Some time back I had a bout of what I guess is called delayed ejaculation where I just would never orgasm or take forever to do so. So she'd orgasm and we'd rest and then go again in a few minutes, she'd orgasm, we'd rest and go again... until I finally went... or less often, never did.
> 
> And that's not even counting orgasms via oral sex.
> 
> Regardless, its a workout, and if you're out of shape as the guy, that probably isn't gonna happen.
> 
> I've never heard of someone falling in love with sexual vigor though. You just want to keep having sex with them. lol


I've been screwing for over a quarter century - I know about doubles, triples, and beyond.

What I meant by rubbish, was the whole bullsh!t post.

And people answer it seriously, too. *Head slap*


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## Entropy3000

GreenEyes said:


> Those people annoy the hell out of me!!! I actually changed gyms because there were so many of those.


I am all business when I hit the gym. I have my plan defined. I have my head phones on and am very focused. As long as folks stay out of my way I am fine. For the most part I get in the zone and do not notice, but sometimes you just can't help it.

And yeah there are guys there too that don't actually work out much but attend to those ladies with advice.
I am fine with folks who go to the gym for social reasons. Arguably healthier than a bar.

I suppose if my local gym got too much this way I would not go there any more. It is just really convenient. 

I get more bothered by guys doing dumbell curls in the squat rack. And wussy personal trainers ... LOL ... I digress.


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## DvlsAdvc8

GreenEyes said:


> Those people annoy the hell out of me!!! I actually changed gyms because there were so many of those.


I like those people. They're the only ones talking and making gym fun. Not every flirt is an attempt to hookup... in fact, I'd say most aren't.


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## DvlsAdvc8

CandieGirl said:


> I've been screwing for over a quarter century - I know about doubles, triples, and beyond.
> 
> What I meant by rubbish, was the whole bullsh!t post.
> 
> And people answer it seriously, too. *Head slap*


Gotcha. Misread.


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## CH

Did you guys lynch her?

At least she didn't complain about using her husband's money. And for the OM, hot 20 year old or old cougar, hmmmm......

Such a hard choice to make in picking the woman I want to be with


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## DvlsAdvc8

Entropy3000 said:


> This likely would have occurred no matter if her husband was a stud or not. If it were real that is.
> 
> There are some women at my gym that just strike me as a tad skanky and not there to get physically fit but rather to hookup. Less about health and more about scratching an itch.


I don't know that if her husband were into the health thing she'd still be looking to trade up. He'd probably be at the gym WITH her, and she wouldn't feel that they were mismatching in terms of attractiveness.

I think the combination of working hard to keep sexy while your spouse does nothing, plus being alone at a gym with a bunch of fit guys is gonna start getting the extra-marital libido going pretty good. Just because she's rationalizing that she did it because hubby is letting himself go, doesn't mean she doesn't really have a problem with hubby letting himself go.

She's getting the attention of the young studs; it makes her feel hot and it causes her to question why she's with the chubby hubby.

I don't get the impression that the married women in my gym are looking to cheat based on what they wear or even the light flirting I get. I get the feeling they just want confirmation of their attractiveness... it feels good when an attractive guy notices you. If hubby wasn't letting himself go, I have doubts she'd have crossed the line, especially if he got off his duff and went to the gym with her.


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## Entropy3000

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I don't know that if her husband were into the health thing she'd still be looking to trade up. He'd probably be at the gym WITH her, and she wouldn't feel that they were mismatching in terms of attractiveness.
> 
> I think the combination of working hard to keep sexy while your spouse does nothing, plus being alone at a gym with a bunch of fit guys is gonna start getting the extra-marital libido going pretty good. Just because she's rationalizing that she did it because hubby is letting himself go, doesn't mean she doesn't really have a problem with hubby letting himself go.
> 
> She's getting the attention of the young studs; it makes her feel hot and it causes her to question why she's with the chubby hubby.
> 
> I don't get the impression that the married women in my gym are looking to cheat based on what they wear or even the light flirting I get. I get the feeling they just want confirmation of their attractiveness... it feels good when an attractive guy notices you. If hubby wasn't letting himself go, I have doubts she'd have crossed the line, especially if he got off his duff and went to the gym with her.


You are entitled to your opinion certainly. I see it as her on the prowl and blaming it on her husband. I suppose if he was with her and ****blocking that may have helped. He could have also married a better woman. Who knows? I think the story was contrived.

Yes women love attention. No excuse for comparing these guys to her hubby and acting on it. i.e. her hubby could be a worthless gym rat but instead does the heavy lifting in her marriage.

Her hubby could have been into health and dumped by her because she traded up with a man with status who made more money.

I am just being a devils advocate here. We could make up all sorts of stories but she claims she cheated. I choose not to blame the husband in this case.


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## Entropy3000

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I like those people. They're the only ones talking and making gym fun. Not every flirt is an attempt to hookup... in fact, I'd say most aren't.


Just don't be flirting in the Squat rack I won't care.


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## GreenEyes

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I like those people. They're the only ones talking and making gym fun. Not every flirt is an attempt to hookup... in fact, I'd say most aren't.


Why does it not surprise me that you like that?? Hmmmmm The gym is for working out and it bothers me when people are "using" machines that I want to use just so they can look like they are working out.....annoooying....


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## DvlsAdvc8

GreenEyes said:


> Why does it not surprise me that you like that?? Hmmmmm The gym is for working out and it bothers me when people are "using" machines that I want to use just so they can look like they are working out.....annoooying....


Hmpf... I just find another machine or get to that exercise later. I tend not to have that problem though as I'm usually with the free weights. I do occassionally use a treadmill, cycle or elliptical, even though I prefer running outside, only because I can appreciate a nice butt... but I'm not obnoxious about it. Sue me. 

The gym is like anywhere else. You're there for a purpose, but you develop social ties just like anywhere else you go where you see the same people over and over.

I have male and female friends at my gym that make it fun. There is friendly competition, hilarious dissing, encouragement/motivation, telling stories, mild flirts, de-stressing, venting... its great. If I was seeing the same people daily and everyone was anti-social, I'd find another gym with fewer aholes.

What's really annoying are the people who don't wipe down the machines after they sweat all over them.


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## GreenEyes

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Hmpf... I just find another machine or get to that exercise later. I tend not to have that problem though as I'm usually with the free weights. I do occassionally use a treadmill, cycle or elliptical, even though I prefer running outside, only because I can appreciate a nice butt... but I'm not obnoxious about it. Sue me.
> 
> The gym is like anywhere else. You're there for a purpose, but you develop social ties just like anywhere else you go where you see the same people over and over.
> 
> I have male and female friends at my gym that make it fun. There is friendly competition, hilarious dissing, encouragement/motivation, telling stories, mild flirts, de-stressing, venting... its great. If I was seeing the same people daily and everyone was anti-social, I'd find another gym with fewer aholes.
> 
> What's really annoying are the people who don't wipe down the machines after they sweat all over them.


I agree on not wiping down the machines, kinda nasty. Idk usually I go to the gym right after work, my workout without talking takes almost 2 hours so I don't get home til 630, then there's dinner, homework, all the crap around the house. If someone talks to me I def talk back and am nice...I just don't initiate conversation since I really just want to get in and get out....


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## Cherry

Lon said:


> laur31, if you are a troll, PFO.


LOL... "PFO".. I've never seen that one 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DvlsAdvc8

GreenEyes said:


> If someone talks to me I def talk back and am nice...I just don't initiate conversation since I really just want to get in and get out....


Oh that's everyone, even the talkers... in and out. Talking generally doesn't get in the way of the workout.

To top it off, I've learned a ton of health related things from various gym conversations. I've found the more I talk and the more I know the regulars at the times I go, the less I get that "ughh... gym time... " feeling. haha


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## GreenEyes

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Oh that's everyone, even the talkers... in and out. Talking generally doesn't get in the way of the workout.
> 
> To top it off, I've learned a ton of health related things from various gym conversations. I've found the more I talk and the more I know the regulars at the times I go, the less I get that "ughh... gym time... " feeling. haha


That is true, I have learned some things from people, like more efficient ways to work out different parts of the body and better technique. I would really really love to get to the point of not feeling "ughh..gym time" lol some days I am so pumped and ready to go and others I just want to go home but usually make myself go (I feel so much better after I've gone though).


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