# Views of a female serial cheater - sickening ?



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I don't normally create threads of my own, but came across this and thought you folk might get a kick out of this.

I’m A Female Serial Cheater, And Here Are 6 Things I’ve Learned About Relationships | Thought Catalog


Just wondering if anyone thinks there is any truth in what she says.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Isn't narcissism amazing?


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## RV9 (Sep 29, 2014)

Her parents should have used protection... Oh well...


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## dash74 (Jan 3, 2015)

I hope a bird drops a rock on her head, that would be a slice of cosmic pie.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Oh holy Hell.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

im amazed she can brag about it.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I was just wondering if there was any other cheating narcissists out there who would be honest enough to agree with her.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Tagging foR later


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Why is everyone acting so shocked? We see this kind of crazy here on this forum and in real life, every day.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I don't know if this would be a big deal if she was honesty with her bf. It sounds like a viewpoint compatible with an open relationship. So if she gets enjoy these little side dishes her bf should too, and maybe he does for all we know, but what makes her a pos is that it's only for her.

Be honest, I'm sure she could find a man willing to be involved with her while being able to fvck other women.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> I don't know if this would be a big deal if she was honesty with her bf. It sounds like a viewpoint compatible with an open relationship. So if she gets enjoy these little side dishes her bf should too, and maybe he does for all we know, but what makes her a pos is that it's only for her.
> 
> Be honest, I'm sure she could find a man willing to be involved with her while being able to fvck other women.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Exactly what I was thinking.

Also, I think her first point is a great one. I should try to be more like that.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> I don't know if this would be a big deal if she was honesty with her bf. It sounds like a viewpoint compatible with an open relationship. So if she gets enjoy these little side dishes her bf should too, and maybe he does for all we know, but what makes her a pos is that it's only for her.
> 
> Be honest, I'm sure she could find a man willing to be involved with her while being able to fvck other women.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Ah but remember that many cheaters are insecure POS - my XWW was one of those - and would scream bloody Mary if their SO was doing the same to them.

Then there is the thrill of doing something forbidden that excites their dopamine receptors. If their SO knew and approved, that would no longer be there.


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## jim123 (Sep 29, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> I don't know if this would be a big deal if she was honesty with her bf. It sounds like a viewpoint compatible with an open relationship. So if she gets enjoy these little side dishes her bf should too, and maybe he does for all we know, but what makes her a pos is that it's only for her.
> 
> Be honest, I'm sure she could find a man willing to be involved with her while being able to fvck other women.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She wants to cheat but does not want him to.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

This is really standard view of cheater think I'm my opinion. It's why I don't date women who have previously cheated and wonder why anyone would want to stay married to a woman after they cheated because this is how they think. 

This always comes back to me as a character issue and never a gender issue. A male Cheater would likely write this same thing word for word. Cheaters going to cheat because, to thier mind, they can always justify what they are doing

Nothing new here


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Perhaps I missed it, but i do not recall her mentioning condoms or protection. Admittedly, I didn't read for content and skimmed to the end as it was rather disgusting.


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## Mostlycontent (Apr 16, 2014)

I normally wouldn't read something like this because I know it's going to be jibber jabber but I actually found this piece to be quite comical.

The level of naivety and denial is astounding. She needs to just go ahead and say it.......she's a hedonist and a dishonest one at that. 

I love the nonsense about how her actions don't affect anyone else. That sounds like so many alcoholics and addicts that I've known over the years. They don't think their behavior effects other people. It's ridiculous.

I got news for this young lady, I assume she's young since she doesn't yet have kids, she's going to end up old and alone. That's the way this story always ends.

While she no doubt thinks she's crafty and clever, perhaps even more so than the average person, she is completely lacking in any kind of wisdom and as many of us know, wisdom is really all that matters.

If this poor sap of a man marries her, we'll see him here one day I'm sure. for his sake, I hope she gets sloppy and he finds her out prior to that point and breaks her wretched little heart.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Dogbert said:


> Ah but remember that many cheaters are insecure POS - my XWW was one of those - and would scream bloody Mary if their SO was doing the same to them.
> 
> Then there is the thrill of doing something forbidden that excites their dopamine receptors. If their SO knew and approved, that would no longer be there.



Probably true, and that's what makes her a pos. Just saying IF she was honest it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Monogamy isn't for everyone, so own it and give your partner the choice. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

What's really sad (sick) in this "story" (hopefully probably more fiction than reality), but nonetheless is the "Dual" lives of Serial Cheaters, the justification, the I'm not hurting anyone, the I still love my SO very much... is a consistent theme and very much real.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

bandit.45 said:


> im amazed she can brag about it.


Probably made all the easier for her given that she didn't attach her name to the article.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Probably made all the easier for her given that she didn't attach her name to the article.


I found her for you gus. Oh crap! that's my POS XWW's grandma.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I think the more disturbing aspect of this whole thing is...and you all tell me if I'm being paranoid...I think there is a burgeoning culture within our society that finds this woman's attitude not only acceptable but actually quite normal. 

The world is a changin folks. Maybe we here on TAM are one of the last outposts of an increasingly outmoded way of thinking. 

It bears consideration.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

This article reflects on the mind of a sociopath. Cheaters are sociopaths and can easily compartmentalize, justifying every hurtful action. They never think about the injuries that they inflict on others. God help the man who this woman intended to marry. She is a nightmare for any marriage!


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> I think the more disturbing aspect of this whole thing is...and you all tell me if I'm being paranoid...I think there is a burgeoning culture within our society that finds this woman's attitude not only acceptable but actually quite normal.
> 
> The world is a changin folks. Maybe we here on TAM are one of the last outposts of an increasingly outmoded way of thinking.
> 
> It bears consideration.


We have become an increasily selfish society. More and more it's just me, me me. We have also become a society of excuses and its become accepted. 

This person understands at some level this is wrong. Its who she is but dare not tell anyone because people may view her differently. 

She has no real desire to have a full relationship because the concept is alien to her. Just take care of yourself and live in a glass house.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lifeistooshort said:


> I don't know if this would be a big deal if she was honesty with her bf. It sounds like a viewpoint compatible with an open relationship. So if she gets enjoy these little side dishes her bf should too, and maybe he does for all we know, but what makes her a pos is that it's only for her.
> 
> Be honest, I'm sure she could find a man willing to be involved with her while being able to fvck other women.


I find it interesting that she does not seem interested in an open marriage. Instead she's all about cheating/lying. My take on it is that the clandestine part of cheating gives her a thrill, it heightens the cheating/sexual experience.

I also wonder who she would react if her bf/husband cheated on her. My bet is that she would come unglued. 


.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> I think the more disturbing aspect of this whole thing is...and you all tell me if I'm being paranoid...I think there is a burgeoning culture within our society that finds this woman's attitude not only acceptable but actually quite normal.
> 
> The world is a changin folks. Maybe we here on TAM are one of the last outposts of an increasingly outmoded way of thinking.
> 
> It bears consideration.


This attitude has existed in many since the dawn of time. There has always been a sex industry dedicated to men because this attitude has been so pervasive in society.

It has always also been pretty acceptable for men to cheat. And who do you think they were cheating with? Women.

The difference is that we now live in a tell-all society. Things are put out on the internet for all to see.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

She so proud of herself she was afraid to put her name to it. Random hookups in random cities in random bars... Sounds like STD heaven.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> This attitude has existed in many since the dawn of time. There has always been a sex industry dedicated to men because this attitude has been so pervasive in society.
> 
> It has always also been pretty acceptable for men to cheat. And who do you think they were cheating with? Women.
> 
> The difference is that we now live in a tell-all society. Things are put out on the internet for all to see.


I agree with you...to a point. But I read recently in Forbes that gay porn is the fastest growing segment of porn there is.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

PhillyGuy13 said:


> She so proud of herself she was afraid to put her name to it. Random hookups in random cities in random bars... Sounds like STD heaven.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Her name may be Chlamydia.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Some choice gems:

"My extra-curricular activities have nothing to do with him.":scratchhead: Really? Who do they effect then?

"He is my favorite dish, and I can order him each time I’m at the restaurant, never tiring of his flavor. But the world is vast and delicious, and I want to try as many dishes as possible while I’m here."

"I cheat my boyfriend out of nothing. I am a giving and thoughtful partner, and an eager lover, and am as concerned with his needs and desires as I am with my own. No matter what I’m doing at any moment — even if I’m in bed with the Argentinian photographer Matias whose body makes me feel lightheaded — if my partner calls me, I will catch the next plane home to be at his side." I'm sure it'd be a great comfort for him to have you there knowing you came hot off the press, so to speak, from Matias's bed. Ew.

Talk about taking your partner for granted while you blithely betray him. It never surprises me that people can be selfish, but this level of narcissism is mind blowing! What is scary is how well-thought-out her cheating is. 

I hope when she evolves with this poor boob that she evolves into someone slightly less toxic.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Roselyn said:


> Cheaters... *can easily compartmentalize*, justifying every hurtful action. They never think about the injuries that they inflict on others...


I not sure about the "never"... From my own dealing with my FWW a SC, _she did think about what she was doing_, but just not for very long. Remember, she was never going to be caught, she would just shove her lies, guilt, and shame into a little box and all good. 

It still amazes me how cheaters can make all kind of alibies, plans, and plausible excuses while undiscovered... but, have nothing prepared, rehearsed, or in-line when they get caught. 

I keep forgetting... *they will never be caught!*


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

LOL - Her first 'rule' is to not post your personal life online - and then she posts this self-justifying tripe - ONLINE! You have to love it.

People who talk the way she does really think they are smarter, more clued in, than the rest of us peons. Their arguments are easily debunked, however. They never withstand any serious criticism. If it weren't for the poor bf and kids she will bring into her fake world, I would find her pitiable.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

manfromlamancha said:


> I was just wondering if there was any other cheating narcissists out there who would be honest enough to agree with her.


Some comments in the thread over there do that.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

A life without boundaries (laws, rules) is anarchy. I agree with Bandit that our society is devolving to the "if it feels good do it" culture. It is becoming more acceptable and less shunned.

So then, when she does marry her BF and they start that family and she decides to sample yet another delicious item from another cuisine and drop a nuclear bomb on them, let us all be conscious of her BH's post. Let us do our best to advise and console him as we have so many others here as he is devastatingly unaffected by her actions.

We may be the last bastion of moral thought but here is where the broken come for advice and solace. As long as there are people like her there will be forums like TAM.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> I agree with you...to a point. But I read recently in Forbes that gay porn is the fastest growing segment of porn there is.


Gay porn? Do you mean MM? That's because it's ok to be gay now. So gay is coming out of the porn closet too.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

She most likely will never get married. The secret double life is usually hard to keep hidden long term. She will eventually get more bold to keep the excitement going. She will probably have a "steady" boyfriend but she has that more to keep the thrill of the alter ego going.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Here is a fun excerisize. Change all instances of "cheater" with "killer" in the first paragragh.

What a horrible human being.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Gay porn? Do you mean MM? That's because it's ok to be gay now. So gay is coming out of the porn closet too.


 What I'm saying is the argument that porn exploits women for the pleasure of men is gradually losing water. Porn is mainstream now. For every woman who says porn is exploitive of women and proof that men are pigs, there is a millionaire porn actress out there would argue the opposite.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> What I'm saying is the argument that porn exploits women for the pleasure of men is gradually losing water. Porn is mainstream now. For every woman who says porn is exploitive of women and proof that men are pigs, there is a millionaire porn actress out there would argue the opposite.


Disagree. I have a good friend that runs a porn site and she'd be the first one to tell you the porn does indeed exploit women, she just uses that to make money. Besides, very few are millionaires, most are scraping by like everyone else and they have a relatively short life span in the industry. FYI, if you looked at her site and then sat next to her on the sofa you'd have no idea it was her, the site is so fake nobody is recognizable.

It's the same argument with prostitution, there are some high class call girls that make a ton of money off the exploitation but most are the poor drug addicts you see on the street corner.
So would you claim that because there are a few high class call girls that make a ton of money it somehow doesn't exploit women, and is somehow a good idea? What if your daughter did it, would that be ok with you?

But if the women in porn are there of their own free will, like my friend, that is their business. But in the end it is an industry that for the most part caters to mens' pleasure because men are the ones who spend the most money on it. And it has to keep pushing boundaries or said men get bored. Why do you think the SI cover keeps getting skvankier? Because it has to compete with porn to stay relevant.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

alte Dame said:


> LOL - Her first 'rule' is to not post your personal life online - and then she posts this self-justifying tripe - ONLINE! You have to love it.
> 
> People who talk the way she does really think they are smarter, more clued in, than the rest of us peons. Their arguments are easily debunked, however. They never withstand any serious criticism. If it weren't for the poor bf and kids she will bring into her fake world, I would find her pitiable.


That's because she's narcissistic and needs the attention, and deep down feels she's superior in her intellect and has wisdom to offer the world. They need to add a "gag" emoticon here.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> What I'm saying is the argument that porn exploits women for the pleasure of men is gradually losing water. Porn is mainstream now. For every woman who says porn is exploitive of women and proof that men are pigs, there is a millionaire porn actress out there would argue the opposite.


Where did I say that porn exploits women?


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

Anonymous=Troll

There's more than one type of troll. 

When you write something like that "anonymously" who knows how much you can believe. The reason they even write crap like that is to get a rise out of someone, not to actually help anyone and that's the definition of a troll. And the site that posted that drivel is definitely trolling. 

Someday the karma bus will roll right over someone like that.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Sociopathic narcissist; pretty simple.


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## Mostlycontent (Apr 16, 2014)

RWB said:


> I not sure about the "never"... From my own dealing with my FWW a SC, _she did think about what she was doing_, but just not for very long. Remember, she was never going to be caught, she would just shove her lies, guilt, and shame into a little box and all good.
> 
> It still amazes me how cheaters can make all kind of alibies, plans, and plausible excuses while undiscovered... but, have nothing prepared, rehearsed, or in-line when they get caught.
> 
> I keep forgetting... *they will never be caught!*


I'm quite certain that there are a lot of cheaters out there that never do get caught. If you have a job and/or a lifestyle that allows you to travel or be away from home for any period of time and are incredibly discreet, how would you get caught? I mean if you have no conscience and aren't one to confess, you'd be really hard to catch.

Serial killers get caught because A) people (police) are looking for them......and obviously that's the biggest reason and B) they almost always have a pattern that some detective or behavioral analyst can eventually figure out.

But a serial killer that didn't have a pattern and just picked random people from random areas, maybe even different states, might be impossible to catch. I suppose this kind of serial cheat person could go on indefinitely with this kind of behavior.....until of course, they contract a STD or get shot by some betrayed lover.

Not really sure I have a point other than to say that if that's what you are and you're good at it, it may be a long time or even never that you get caught.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Mostlycontent said:


> I'm quite certain that there are a lot of cheaters out there that never do get caught. If you have a job and/or a lifestyle that allows you to travel or be away from home for any period of time and are incredibly discreet, how would you get caught? I mean if you have no conscience and aren't one to confess, you'd be really hard to catch.
> 
> Serial killers get caught because A) people (police) are looking for them......and obviously that's the biggest reason and B) they almost always have a pattern that some detective or behavioral analyst can eventually figure out.
> 
> ...


But if the thrill of the betrayal is what makes it exciting it will require escalation to stay exciting. More risk, more exposure. This is not just about sex it is about a manipulative way to view the world and a sort of pornographic fetish with 'getting away with it' because I am so smart.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> I find it interesting that she does not seem interested in an open marriage. *Instead she's all about cheating/lying. My take on it is that the clandestine part of cheating gives her a thrill, it heightens the cheating/sexual experience.*
> 
> I also wonder who she would react if her bf/husband cheated on her. My bet is that she would come unglued.
> 
> ...


the irony here is that .... the longer she cheats on the same partner........ the more she will assume that he should know OR ELSE he's stupid........ and then she progressively loses interest in her "main" partner ..... and will leave him anyway.

(or just reverse pronouns if the cheater is a man)


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

joannacroc said:


> Some choice gems:
> 
> *"My extra-curricular activities have nothing to do with him.":scratchhead: Really? Who do they effect then?*
> 
> ...


I had women tell me that their friendship with my husband had nothing to do with me. So that construction (ie. "has nothing to do with whomever) is quite popular among people who like throwing their weight around.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

HarryDoyle said:


> Anonymous=Troll
> 
> There's more than one type of troll.
> 
> ...


It helps people who are looking for an excuse to do whatever the he!! they please.

When I think back to the first year of my relationship with my (future) husband, I can see where his special friend told him things to justify hanging out with her. It was to her benefit for him to have someone to keep him busy.... but not totally busy.

I can see texts where she told him that I could be dating other men. He never asked me.

Where she told him that I was not having sex with him often enough. He never told her about the times he turned me down.

and so on......


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

All that this article truly is, at least IMHO, amounts to little more than a "defense of unconsciability!" 

Feral dogs seemingly have a far better sense of morality!


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

Reads like fiction to me. I like the fact that she says:_ "My aversion to internet activities is not limited to the lovers I take" _and in an article she published on the internet.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

johnnycomelately said:


> Reads like fiction to me. I like the fact that she says:_ "My aversion to internet activities is not limited to the lovers I take" _and in an article she published on the internet.


I could just be click bait.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

I think its a bullsh!t story.. 

Here is a hard reality.. 

Woman can get *ALL THE D!CK THEY WANT*.. And men cannot get all the Pvssy they want.. 

I am 1000% positive that if me and my GF walked into a bar and started hitting on the opposite sex, that I might walk away with 1 or 2 dates.. My GF on the other hand would walk away with all of them. 

She would have her calender filled for months after one bar visit.. If it was just about sex she would be laying in bed fvcking for a long time. All she would have to do is make a phone call and they would come over to fvck.. 

This is a hard reality and yes even painful reality.. It freaks me the fvck out ALL THE TIME.. It bothers me to no end to know that my GF and woman in general hold this power.. It never dawned on me until my ex wife affair(s) and even dating my GF.. 

My GF has told me straight out, "*Don't you think I can fvck anyone I want, if I wanted too ? But I don't because I love you"* 

I mean really think about it.. That is a lot of control for a woman to have. Mind you I am not saying that I am a dead fish or that men in general don't have this power, but honestly I know for a fact I can't walk into a room and just ask any woman to get laid and expect it to happen. Where as I know a woman can to a man.

And after 48 years of being on this planet, I just realized that not too long ago. It just never dawned on me...


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

"You can cheat on someone without cheating them." I wonder how a boyfriend or Husband would feel about that?. Girlfriend or Wife? There is a whole other perspective to this line that inst even touched on.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

It doesn't affect her fiance until it does. When she passes him a disease, or when she catches a virus which causes her cervical cancer. Or when some guy she screwed turns out to be batshyt crazy and starts extorting money or messing with her family. Or when more simply her husband is devastated when he discovers her affairs. And her child is affected by the ensuing divorce.

She thinks she is invulnerable. That is the type of attitude which leads to spectacular crashes.


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## Mostlycontent (Apr 16, 2014)

Hardtohandle said:


> I think its a bullsh!t story..
> 
> Here is a hard reality..
> 
> ...


It's a real imbalance, isn't it. I used to argue with my wife when we were dating and even after we'd been married a while that her going out with her girlfriends and me going out with the guys wasn't the same thing.

As a woman, you get hit on, asked to dance, or offered a free drink just for showing up at the Club. You get tempted (potentially) and validated all at the same time.

I used to tell her that the only way it would be equal was if I was allowed to hit on every woman I thought was attractive in the bar. That way I could get validation and flirt just like she's able to do.

Of course, she didn't want that scenario to play out but it really isn't the same thing, is it. Is it easier for a woman to cheat? I believe so...absolutely. That doesn't mean they will of course but they would definitely have more opportunity if they so desired.


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## Mostlycontent (Apr 16, 2014)

ScrambledEggs said:


> But if the thrill of the betrayal is what makes it exciting it will require escalation to stay exciting. More risk, more exposure. This is not just about sex it is about a manipulative way to view the world and a sort of pornographic fetish with 'getting away with it' because I am so smart.


I would agree.....if that was a cheater's motivation. I don't think it is for everyone though. I think some, like this narcissistic writer, only do it because they are seeking self pleasure and nothing else. Does she get a rise because it's forbidden? Probably, but that doesn't sound like her primary motivation.

Those that do it for the ego stroke, for example, aren't really doing it because it's forbidden but likely because of their own deep insecurities.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Thor said:


> It doesn't affect her fiance until it does. When she passes him a disease, or when she catches a virus which causes her cervical cancer. Or when some guy she screwed turns out to be batshyt crazy and starts extorting money or messing with her family. Or when more simply her husband is devastated when he discovers her affairs. And her child is affected by the ensuing divorce.
> 
> She thinks she is invulnerable. That is the type of attitude which leads to spectacular crashes.


Or gets pregnant by some other guy.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Generally speaking, we men put too much importance in having sex with an attractive woman, and so we become the "demand" side of the "supply and demand" ratio. Stop the chasing of women and you'll see the ratio shift significantly. I can attest to this in my personal life. Just try it.


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