# Separation Question.



## baltimorebarry (Dec 7, 2011)

Are there any ladies out there who are separated but still only have sex with their husbands? If so, does that mean there is hope?


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## Darkhorse (Dec 3, 2011)

I only had sex with my husband while we were separated. And he, me. That was one of our agreements when he left. He moved home 3 months later. We had sex about 4 times a week during that time.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Darkhorse said:


> I only had sex with my husband while we were separated. And he, me. That was one of our agreements when he left. He moved home 3 months later. We had sex about 4 times a week during that time.


Maybe I should separate that would be a great increase!


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

The problem with sex w the H while separated... is that you are separated. Which says things aren't working so let's not be together. And then you have sex with him. I know, I know. I did it too. It's stupid sex. Seems hot at the time, and means nothing. 

Plus, you are SEPARATED. You can't be sure that he isn't having sex with anyone else.... not REALLY sure.

Just my two cents. Do it.... till you don't wanna.


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## cyan (Dec 4, 2011)

I had sex with my STBEH while separated. The problem was I couldn't be 100% sure he wasn't having sex with other women. Then again, I couldn't be 100% sure when we lived together, either.

I sorta viewed it as "friends with benefits." It was really nice being intimate with someone I am comfortable with. And while our marriage is heading for divorce, the sex/intimacy is something I'll deeply miss.

Did having sex mean there was hope for our marriage? Well, in this case no. But it sure helped ease the transition from living together to being separate. Also, in our case the issues we face have nothing to do with sex; our problems are more about family dynamics.

Hope this helps. It's not easy... this I know.


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## COGypsy (Aug 12, 2010)

You know what they say...the best sex is ex-sex!

Seriously though...sex is just sex. All it means is you two are good in the sack. I've had some of the hottest sex ever with an ex I had great chemistry, but no plans to ever get back with. One doesn't follow the other every time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NotSoSureYet (Nov 10, 2011)

I am currently in this situation. We went all week with just sleeping at each others place. Well, last night we took it that extra step. I've noticed that I have to be emotionally connected to enjoy sex w/ my H. And I'm not at all right now. Him, on the other hand, just needs a wet hole to stick it in - at least that's how it seems. For me, sex isn't hope. But I am afraid it is hope in his eyes.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Darkhorse said:


> I only had sex with my husband while we were separated. And he, me. That was one of our agreements when he left. He moved home 3 months later. We had sex about 4 times a week during that time.


Crap! I feel robbed!!! I would have been happy one time in the last month.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

NotSoSureYet said:


> I am currently in this situation. We went all week with just sleeping at each others place. Well, last night we took it that extra step. I've noticed that I have to be emotionally connected to enjoy sex w/ my H. And I'm not at all right now. Him, on the other hand, just needs a wet hole to stick it in - at least that's how it seems. For me, sex isn't hope. But I am afraid it is hope in his eyes.


If your guy is anything like me, it is more about the connection than a wet hole. But it does not feel as good when you know she is not connecting also.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

This is me said:


> If your guy is anything like me, it is more about the connection than a wet hole. But it does not feel as good when you know she is not connecting also.


:iagree:


All you disconnected wives are much more than a wet hole (in fact I'm sure there are many better wet holes all of us guys could find..but we are married to you...your "hole' is not the best). Us husbands feel emotionally connected through sex, we hope you feel the same after all sex through marriage is supposed to be about love... so when your love isn't there its empty sex. That feels horrible to us.
I for one would rather have NO sex until my wife is desiring sex or working toward desiring sex again... because "duty sex" or "disinterested sex is the worst.

Do your self a favor ladies... if you aren't trying hard to connect through sex so that you eventually want sex and a connection to him don't even try just simply forgo sex. Us husbands who love you want nothing like that... you are all much more than just a wet hole to us. That's why we married you and put up with all your stupid crap over the years. We still love you regardless of how you treat us. Its crazy but true. If its gone you have to divorce him. Do him a favor so he can find a woman who will love him. You failed him. He deserves much better.


I told my wife this now she has to decide, I called her out on her bad "disconnected" behavior and how she has totally disrespected my needs for years, told her her behaviors were crap. I'm actually ok with my wife withholding almost 5 months now because i want our next sex to mean something. She has two choices... her decision. I am not acceptable to a sexless marriage any longer.


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## ForlornHubby (Aug 15, 2011)

Trying2figureitout said:


> All you disconnected wives are much more than a wet hole (in fact I'm sure there are many better wet holes all of us guys could find..but we are married to you...your "hole' is not the best). Us husbands feel emotionally connected through sex, we hope you feel the same after all sex through marriage is supposed to be about love... so when your love isn't there its empty sex. That feels horrible to us.
> I for one would rather have NO sex until my wife is desiring sex or working toward desiring sex again... because "duty sex" or "disinterested sex is the worst.


This is so very true. Despite being a once-every-2-or-3-months couple for a few years because my wife seems to never be in the mood , a few times I _did_ get it I still called the whole thing off mid-way when I realized that she wasn't really into it.

It's a bit hard for women to understand this, it certainly appears to be to my wife, but a lot of men love sex for the opportunity to share pleasure WITH the wife. Not in spite of.

We really should get more credit than we do as spouses.

EDIT - Forgot to write what prompted me to post here in the first place: since being separated from my wife (month and a half), we have actually made love twice... and it was great! Go figure.


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## xxPsychoKatxx (Dec 6, 2011)

dammit me and my ex had sex 3 times this month until i told him no more lol!!


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