# Is there any hope?!



## minniemouse (Jun 15, 2011)

Ive been with my husband for nearly 10 years and we have been married for just over 4 years now. I have become very frustrated by our lack of sex life. I have had a lot of discussions with my husband about it and although things change for about a week they always go back to how they were pretty quickly.

My main issue here is the lack of actual sex. We touch each other up and cuddle and hold hands a lot, but its like he doesnt want to go any further than heavy petting. Id say 9 out of 10 times we have been intimate recently we have got no further than mutual masturbation, and his answer to this is to watch porn or use vibrators. Im getting really frustrated by it and he doesnt seem to understand that I actually want to go further than heavy petting - I cant even call it foreplay as its all over within about 10 minutes. 

As a *hint* to him, as he always calls me 'sexy' I asked him for some sexy lingerie for Christmas as well as couple of other things (a satin nightdress and some perfume) - I even sent him the link on the web to the lingerie I wanted plus my sizings etc. I got the nightdress and perfume, plus a personalised notebook, a desk calendar and a horn like a clown would use at the circus which said 'honk if youre horny' on it. That hardly says sexy or romantic...

Dont get me wrong I love my husband dearly but I feel like he has regressed to being a teenage boy... Any advice would be appreciated.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

Was it always like this?

If not, when did the change occur?


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

I have the same problem with my husband. He is completely uncomfortable with sex. We both have been and I have had to learn to talk about it because it has to change. At first I thought it was sweet. He was shy and sweet and he is a really smart guy. We met online, in fact, because I wanted someone someone like that. I thought the sex thing would get better with time and as he became more comfortable with me but it hasn't really improved a lot. We started going to therapy so I am hoping that will help. His parents taught him that sex is dirty and wrong and so he is really uncomfortable with it. Do you know your husband's background and beliefs about sex? Have you thought about finding a therapist who can help? He sounds really uncomfortable with it.


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