# Not sure what to do, need advice...



## endingsoon (Sep 14, 2012)

Hello,

I am new here and to any forum but thought I would give it a try. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years and have a daughter who is 4. He has two children from a previous marriage, which is a whole different sotry...I have found a happy place in dealing with the previous wife and his children so I don't think I need to go into that. The reason I am here is I am not happy...I have told my husband this and after a lot of protesting he has agreed to counseling. We had a heated discussion when the topic of us splitting up came up where I ended up being very upset, I told him I would no longer discuss our issues unless a counselor was present. WE do not communicate well at all. He talks over me and gets me flustered so I can't talk or we end up yelling at each other and getting nothing accomplished.He does not drink, is not abusive but I just don't feel anything for him. We stopped kissing years ago, I have sex with him just to please him, we hardly talk...we just don't enjoy one another. I gave him a list of things I wasn't happy about and he truly is making a huge effort to do all the things on the list and I am still not interested...is it me? Do I have an issue? Did I let it go too long and now won't be able to let him back in? I am not a very good writer, my mond eanders and I type what I am thinking so hopefully this makes sense. Our first counseling session is next week. At this point I don't know if it will help but I feel like I have to do it so he at least sees an effort. I kept telling myself I would stay for my daughter's sake but I don't think I can anymore. I also think the hostility in the house is affecting her. She will not hug anyone and I think it is because she never sees affection. This makes me very sad. I also am afraid of how ugly my husband will get if we do split, I have seen how things were between he and his ex and I do not want to go through that. But I also don't want to live my life unhappy...any help will be much appreciated! Thank you in advance.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Hang loose and see what the therapist can do. If that doesn't look promising, then go with your heart. As for your daughter, I'm sure do don't want her to grow up thinking that's what marriage is all about.


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## endingsoon (Sep 14, 2012)

@Dormant, thanks for the reply! I will see how the counseling goes, I am just antsy. I think a pat of me thinks he is just doing all of this so he can go to counseling and say "i did everything she said' little does he know doing it for a week is much different than doing it for a lifetime, maybe this is why I can't let him back in...lack of trust.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Good luck! I hope it works out for you.


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