# Text messages



## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

I'm absolutely distraught after finding messages on my husband phone from someone I considered my closest friend ! Very flirty very graphic talking about what they wanted to do with one another . I had a massive row with my husband .. He claims nothing happened it was just a laugh .. I feel so numb . What to do now ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Please feel free to share more info about all of this with us, i. e. how long have you two known this person, how long have the mutual texts been going on, et.al.*


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

humpty dumpty said:


> I'm absolutely distraught after finding messages on my husband phone from someone I considered my closest friend ! Very flirty very graphic talking about what they wanted to do with one another . I had a massive row with my husband .. He claims nothing happened it was just a laugh .. I feel so numb . What to do now ?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


First you need to save the text messages by sending them to your email.
Then you must cut that " friend " off. She's after your husband, so she cannot be your " friend."

Then tell your husband he has exactly 24 hours to very clearly and explicitly tell you about all that has happened between them.

In the meantime , consult a good lawyer.


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

arbitrator said:


> *Please feel free to share more info about all of this with us, i. e. how long have you two known this person, how long have the mutual texts been going on, et.al.*


She's a godparent to two of our children , we've known her over 15 years , she's been divorced for 3 years we have both been there for her helping as much as we could ..
My husbands been guarded and hoovering over his phone for a few weeks .. It was purely by chance that it blip a message through when he was in the shower and I opened it .
I haven't a clue how long because there was just one thread ! It's been deleted now .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Might want to move this to the CWI section. Your husband is displaying "red flags" associated with cheating. Sorry but it is a definite possibility.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

ConanHub said:


> Might want to move this to the CWI section. Your husband is displaying "red flags" associated with cheating. Sorry but it is a definite possibility.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hope not :-/ thank you
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It wasn't a joke. That was him trying to save face.

Jokes are funny. I'm guessing it didn't make you laugh.

I would totally call him and HER out on it.

She isnt your friend at all.

Do you see her often? Is she in your home a lot?


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

He needs to be FULLY transparent with everything now...he broke your trust.....situations like this are not always black and white but grey...IDK the extent of your situation.

Nevertheless you two need a no contact with the woman, at least for a long while...she has broken the trust as well. Did you confront her?

Get MC right away...he had a EA and thankfully not a PA
Blessings


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## Kria (Aug 4, 2013)

over20 said:


> He needs to be FULLY transparent with everything now...he broke your trust.....situations like this are not always black and white but grey...IDK the extent of your situation.
> 
> Nevertheless you two need a no contact with the woman, at least for a long while...she has broken the trust as well. Did you confront her?
> 
> ...


What in this situation could you possibly see as being grey? I see no grey at all. I see clearly a line that was unnecessarily crossed.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

So he's cheating. What are you going to do about it? (ask this to be moved to Coping With Infidelity for more help) Have you asked to see his phone since? Have you told her to keep her hands off of your husband?


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Time for him to get himself a hotel room until he can figure out how to be honest with you. I'm not joking.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I agree.


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

This thread is also in CWI. Full blown PA has been confirmed.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Thanks.


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## lookinforhelpandhope (Apr 10, 2013)

Yeah, that's far from a joke.

It's already a full blown emotional affair. Physical? Maybe that too.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

lookinforhelpandhope said:


> Yeah, that's far from a joke.
> 
> It's already a full blown emotional affair. Physical? Maybe that too.


No "maybe" about it. It is physical. She posted in CWI already. It has been confirmed.


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## lookinforhelpandhope (Apr 10, 2013)

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that OP.

Will take a look at the other thread.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

2galsmom said:


> Grey is a cliché and used in situations where people want to get away with breaking the rules and hurting other people because they have excuses or are "special."
> 
> Please OP, get IC. Insurance covers it. *Do that before you sign up for MC*.


She's not doing MC. This isn't his first time. She is divorcing him. HD, maybe you should ask the mods to merge this with your thread in CWI.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

First off, how horrible for you...... two betrayals from two people who you trust and love, I cant think of anything worse.

I would confront them, Flirty texts is a no go no matter how you look at it, I would have it out with both of them, but that is just me, because no matter how you look at it this is so wrong on so many levels.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

humpty dumpty said:


> She's a godparent to two of our children , we've known her over 15 years , she's been divorced for 3 years we have both been there for her helping as much as we could ..
> My husbands been guarded and hoovering over his phone for a few weeks .. It was purely by chance that it blip a message through when he was in the shower and I opened it .
> I haven't a clue how long because there was just one thread ! It's been deleted now .
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That is why your husband has been guarding his phone, because hes cheating, not sure if hes physically doing anything, but this is still cheating in my eyes.


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