# Im a foolish 19 yr old



## Shez a Great Pretender (Nov 17, 2009)

I got married as soon as i turned 18. Not because i was pregnant or any reason of the sort. Point is...i regret it. I dedicated 5 years of my life to one person. And he's been in relationships with other women since day one. I've seen messages in his email, phone and messenger to other girls. He lies to me and meets up with them when I'm at work. I've even had to walk home one day because he was with another girl and he didnt want her to know he was married...so he just ignored my calls so she wouldnt find out. I honestly dont know what im doing right now...i just can't sleep....i rarely ever sleep...i spend most of my nights thinking about all the things that have happened.

I want to end my marriage completely but i dont know how. And to be honest i can't live on my own...i feel sick just thinking about it. I need someone to talk to.

I need advice or something of the sort....a friend that won't judge me ...or choose sides.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

You can live on your own.. It doesn't sound like kids involved. You should leave. Find an attorney and start to look for places to live. You don't need a marriage where he is constantly with other women.. You deserve to be loved..


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

The really good news is that you are nineteen  Wow, you have so many good years ahead and you do not deserve to be in a marriage where you are lied to and cheated on.

Why can't you live on your own? At minimum, you could find roommates, rent a room in a house....something affordable for you that would set you free...


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## lastinline (Jul 21, 2009)

Well first off, ditch the title. You are not a foolish 19 yr old. You're a trusting 19 yr old, whose trust has been serially abused by someone who was supposed to love and cherish you. You are only foolish if you continue to let someone treat you this poorly GP.

I realize you feel as though your options are limited, but do you have any employable skills? At 19 without kids your expenses are nil, so this in itself gives you tremendous flexibility. What I am saying is you have all sorts of avenues available to you. I am assuming you don't have family support, or you would have availed yourself to it by now.

You can look into community job programs, or even the armed forces. Military service will give you a hand up for college, and it's definitely a place where people will value you for you contributions. It sounds like you could use a little of that right now. There is definitely a safe, healthy, and sane soloution to your dilemma GP. Hang in there. LIL


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## queenb (Nov 21, 2009)

I'm young too!! 23 and ive been in a relationship for 8 years and my relationship has never really been great and i have three kids . i regreat throwing my life away to a guy that can't grow up. The good thing out of it all is my kids they keep me happy. if i didnt have any kids with him it would be over . I would stay single and enjoy being young. ive never been with anyone else either. enjoy your young age now get out and live alittle you will meet someone who will love you and respect you .Dont waste any time with someone who doesnt love you back.


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## YoungMilitarySpouse (Apr 9, 2009)

You know what Ive learned in my life? Every time you face an obstacle you become afraid because you cant see the other side- but life really does go on. If you look back and think of every thing you thought you couldnt get through, just be happy in knowing youre able to look back! Means you got through it somehow.

I havent lived with my parents since I was 16 years old. I got married at 19 and didnt work the majority of our marriage. So I had no money, no car, no family to turn to. So yeah Ive thought about the things youre thinking about.

You could: 

go to college, live in student housing, apply for financial aid and do work study. get a loan. education is worth it lots of people spend years paying off school loans. if you dont have a ged or high school diploma go get a ged

join the job corbs. you get job training and housing.

join the military.

move in with a friend who is willing to let you stay there and agree to pay a bill or two while u start working ans saving and get on your feet

become a live-in nanny

start saving while youre still married and move into government assisted housing. 

there are plenty of options. the hard part is accepting that you will get through it. some of the options might seem unpleasant but theyre actually not that bad and none of these are things you cant overcome. no one deserves to be treated like that and there ARE better men out there. 

Good luck hope I helped!


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## Millania007 (Nov 16, 2009)

@Shesagreat pretender-yes try and find a roomate through newspaper ads or maybe there is some family you can stay with around you? U are so very young and NO you are not foolish, you THOUGHT he was a good man, but he is not..life can go on! I guarantee if you leave and get remarried someday you will be so much happier with a husband that truly loves you for you, and a husband you can fully trust. If I was you? I would definitley date for quite a few years, make sure you wait a while before you jump into another marriage, good luck! I hope it works out, please keep us informed!


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## MentalInstructor (Dec 1, 2009)

Shez a Great Pretender said:


> I got married as soon as i turned 18. Not because i was pregnant or any reason of the sort. Point is...i regret it. I dedicated 5 years of my life to one person. And he's been in relationships with other women since day one. I've seen messages in his email, phone and messenger to other girls. He lies to me and meets up with them when I'm at work. I've even had to walk home one day because he was with another girl and he didnt want her to know he was married...so he just ignored my calls so she wouldnt find out. I honestly dont know what im doing right now...i just can't sleep....i rarely ever sleep...i spend most of my nights thinking about all the things that have happened.
> 
> I want to end my marriage completely but i dont know how. And to be honest i can't live on my own...i feel sick just thinking about it. I need someone to talk to.
> 
> I need advice or something of the sort....a friend that won't judge me ...or choose sides.




First, you need to ask him why did he married you in the first place. I am not the guy that will tell you, that divorce is the way to go. I do not believe in divorce but I believe in a solution, to his or your problem. Second, figure out what you are doing wrong too. It's not just him, maybe you are pushing off to those other women. It's tough so stick it out.


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## YoungMarineWife (Nov 29, 2009)

I too got married at 18, I am 19 now. It hasnt been easy, But if I found my husband cheating or flirting like yours is I would get out, That is something that wont go away. And plus you are young and have time to find someone else who really cares about you. Or you could just not get married again and ejoy a single life.


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