# Obesity correlation to divorce rates?



## Mtts (Apr 16, 2012)

I was thinking about this as I read over and over in thread after thread about people losing weight while doing 180 or similar. A natural thing you see is people looking to get in shape, arguably to raise their prospects of connecting with the next partner. As individuals, no matter how much we say we are not judgemental of each other, we do physically judge upon meeting someone new. Conciously or sub conciously.

Not to say that weight should or shouldn't be a reason for divorce, this is just an idea. 

I recognize that correlation doesn't equal causation. However I wonder if a survey of recently divorced, recently filed and long term divorced that had weight as a reason for losing connection to their partner would have any trend. 

Please for anyone seeing this as me taking a swipe at any person, not at all the case. It was more a concept that I've vaguely had thought about before and never really spent time expanding. One of many factors in the decline of healthy marriages in modern society. Issues of religion, media portrayl, social acceptance or whatever it may be. 

Just a thought and one that I'm sure others have had.

Interesting study: http://www.reeis.usda.gov/web/crisprojectpages/0203846-divorce-and-obesity.html


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

It's not the weight, it's what the weight does to a persons health and vitality.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I'm not sure that there's not a circular thing going on here with some people... Although I completely believe that our food sources have a lot to do with the obesity epidemic, I also think that certain psychological issues affect our weight and activity levels. Depression, past sexual abuse and other body-hate issues, for instance, can cause people to be less motivated or even to desire an appearance that keeps people from feeling attracted.


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## SweetDee47 (Jun 1, 2013)

If you are asking if weight has to do with divorce. Absolutely it does. Many people get divorced because of weight gain....I see it time and time again....I also experienced discontent on my husbands behalf for my weight gain after marriage, once I dropped it I noticed an improvement in his treatment of me. He can say he loves me at any weight but even if he believes its true his actions say otherwise. I also see on a lot of forum sites men who admitted to mistreating/neglecting their wives after they gained weight, to find that their wives dropped weight only to file for divorce shortly after. Then the men say they regret mistreating their wives over a weight issue and if they could go back they would have never done it. Why? Because she's thin now, and only now that she's fit again do they see how wrong their actions were....


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I believe obesity is far more likely to be a major factor in divorces where only one person gained a substantial amount of weight while the other has put in efforts to keep their weight in check. That can foster a lot of resentment and a loss of attraction.

Weight gain can potentially affect a person's self esteem in very detrimental ways, which just affects their entire life and spirals everything out of control. Sometimes obesity can lead to marital troubles not because the thinner spouse is repulsed, but because the fatter spouse is so affected by the weight gain that they shut down, close off, are depressed, withdrawn, and become a much less vital, open person. 

But sometimes it IS the fat itself. It's not PC, but some people CANNOT be attracted to a very fat body.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

The divorce rate for post bariatric surgery patients is 80%. Crazy.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Losing weight while doing a 180 is at least partially because the person is focusing on themselves. They are no longer spending their time working to meet an unresponsive spouses needs. During that self-improvement, they might also realize their spouse is bringing less to the table than previously imagined. (IE - I'm enjoying working out and being alone because most of the time we are together my spouse is yelling at me.)

So - the weight loss could be part of a bigger package, rather than neccessarily the driving force behind the break up. 

As was recently pointed out in another thread - a drastic body change in weight loss can cause relationship problems as much as weight gain. As one spouse might feel they've "lost their edge" over their previously heavy spouse - they might for the first time feel a legitimate concern that they might have to A-game to keep a "sexier" spouse. And some simply don't want to put in that much effort. They enjoyed the ease of not having to try because a heavier, low-esteem person might put up with more crap because of the concern of otherwise being alone.

So - the part that weight plays in a divorce could depend on the particular situation.


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

diwali123 said:


> The divorce rate for post bariatric surgery patients is 80%. Crazy.



It seems that many people choose a spouse based on their self image. When their self image improves the spouse is usually replaced with someone that more closely matches their new self image. Evolution is cruel.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Actually no. I've been on many weight loss surgery boards and it's about fifty fifty. Half the time the spouse just can't deal with the attention and changes in their thinner spouse and start cheating or say they want a D. 
Then a lot of them end up in relationships with obese people. Even if they aren't obese. 
The other half seem to be when the spouse who had the surgery wants to go out and do things and their spouse just wants to sit around. They also start to realize they deserve better and don't put up with abuse and crappy behavior like they used to.


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

diwali123 said:


> Actually no. I've been on many weight loss surgery boards and it's about fifty fifty. Half the time the spouse just can't deal with the attention and changes in their thinner spouse and start cheating or say they want a D.
> Then a lot of them end up in relationships with obese people. Even if they aren't obese.
> The other half seem to be when the spouse who had the surgery wants to go out and do things and their spouse just wants to sit around. They also start to realize they deserve better and don't put up with abuse and crappy behavior like they used to.



Interesting. I still think it's about self image at it's core, but I accept that I had the dynamic reversed.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

A good friend of mine, a woman in her early 60's, is obese. She has been for almost her entire life.

Back in her late 20's/early 30's she lost almost all her weight. She'd never seen herself at a normal weight. It was a system shock. Men were hitting on her left and right. She ended up cheating on her husband. She couldn't face the "new" her, the attention she was received, the ugly thoughts that maybe she'd "settled" partially due to a destroyed self esteem. She put the fat back on rather quickly and stayed that way for decades. She's been struggling to lose wait for about 10 years and is finally considering getting some surgical assistance.

I grew up fat. I know what it can do to your self worth. It's a horrendous, extremely destructive state to live in for some people. It is not surprising that divorce is common following extreme weight loss and for a myriad of reasons.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I hope your friend gets her sugery. The insurance companies can be crazy with their requirements.


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