# He won't let me go



## ImInsideYourTV (Feb 10, 2018)

My husband of just under a year recognizes the fact that we are completely incompatible and refuses to let me walk away. There's some serious in dealt with issues in his life. Including some that have lead him to have severe sexual dysfunction, control and anger issues, among many other things. Though he knows he's pretty messed up and we've talked about it, he seems to have no problems making me feel terrible about being sensitive when he picks fights. I'm not allowed to cry after he goes on an anger fueled lecture. He always disables my truck so I can't leave. He constantly accuses me of cheating and making plans to leave. I'm so lost. Why won't he let me go? And why won't he do it without threatening the few good things ite people i have left in my life?


----------



## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

You need to find help to get out. He is seriously abusing you. Disabling your vehicle so you cannot leave is criminal behavior!

Since you have internet access you should be able to identify a shelter or organization near you which can help you safely get out. Do you have any family or friends who are safe and can help you? You could even call the police if he disables your vehicle and have them come get you.

I think you need to have the support of someone once you leave, because I am worried that you will be weak and go back to him. But you are being abused and need to stay away from him.


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

You could call the police and ask for an escort off the property with your personal belongings. 
You could call a shelter and ask for help. 
You could call friends or family or even a neighbor and ask for help. 
You could even just go to work and never come back or wait until he leaves for work and just go. 
You could pack up some clothes and your important papers while he's asleep and leave then.

Why have you done none of these things? Is there some reason you haven't taken action to get out?


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Assuming you live in the US, you are a free person who can come and go and live as you so choose. 

You are also free to divorce without his consent, buy-in or cooperation. 

Vandalism/damaging someone else's property is a crime. 

Taking someone's property or keeping their property from them is a crime. 

Holding someone against their will or not allowing them to come and go freely is a crime. 

Threats of bodily harm is a crime. 

hitting, kicking, shoving someone physically is a crime. 

Interfering with the reporting and investigation of a crime ...... is a crime. 

Lying under oath during testimony or deposition during an investigation or during legal hearing is a crime. 


In other words, there is no "let" you go. He has no say in where you go or what you do. You have free will and free choice. He does not have any moral, legal or ethical right to restrict your movements to keep you in the house against your will. 

He has no right to disable your ability to drive or walk away. 

He has no right to restrict you calling for help. 

He has no right to threaten your physical safety or inflict any violence or physical pain on you. 

These are all crimes. 

There for if you remain in the house and do nothing to leave, nothing to seek assistance and nothing to report his crimes in keeping you confined - then it is by your choice. 

Yes, it would be nice of him to allow you to do as you please without making a fuss or hampering your ability to do what you want...

....but I think we have established that he is not a nice person. 

You won't be able to change or transform him into a nice person that will be agreeable to everything that you want. 


There for you are going to have to do what you want and what you think is best anyway. 

You will have to take responsibility for your own well being and your own safety and do what you need to do even though he won't agree to it and won't be pleasant about it. 

If you need to enlist the assistance of shelters, police, the court system and friends and family - then so be it. 

It may involve some additional steps and some hardships, but don't act like you don't have agency, choice or free will.


----------



## ImInsideYourTV (Feb 10, 2018)

MJJEAN said:


> You could call the police and ask for an escort off the property with your personal belongings.
> You could call a shelter and ask for help.
> You could call friends or family or even a neighbor and ask for help.
> You could even just go to work and never come back or wait until he leaves for work and just go.
> ...


He has refused to work since we married. And ensures that I don't work far from home. Unless one of us is going to the bathroom or to shower, he is litterally on top of me constantly. I'm very surprised I've not had his nose in my phone long enough to talk here. I'll return and finish answering everybody shortly.


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

ImInsideYourTV said:


> He has refused to work since we married. And ensures that I don't work far from home. Unless one of us is going to the bathroom or to shower, he is litterally on top of me constantly. I'm very surprised I've not had his nose in my phone long enough to talk here. I'll return and finish answering everybody shortly.


It doesn't matter how far from home you work. You can go to work and just not return to the house without some large male friends/family members or a police escort to help you get your things. You can call police, shelters, friends, and/or family from work if you must.

Or you can call the police. Right now. Tell them you are trying to leave your mentally ill husband, he is preventing you from leaving, and that you need a police officer to come help you get off the property.


----------



## [email protected] (Dec 23, 2017)

Listen to everyone here. No matter what, get out now. If I read you correctly, he could kill you!


----------



## Sunfish (Feb 10, 2018)

This is really scary. If you can, gather what is important while he is sleeping. If you can't, leave without it. Contact a shelter to help you make an escape plan, or if you truly can't find time away for that, call the police. It won't be easy, but you deserve to be safe.


----------



## Uselessmale (May 20, 2017)

Get out now!,


----------

