# Toys?



## Nro (Jul 10, 2012)

Hello. I have zero experience with toys and neither does my wife. We've talked about introducing it into our sex life and she's open to the idea. I was hoping to get some good suggestions. Any input/advice would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance!


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## PDXGuardsman (Nov 18, 2017)

Nro said:


> Hello. I have zero experience with toys and neither does my wife. We've talked about introducing it into our sex life and she's open to the idea. I was hoping to get some good suggestions. Any input/advice would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance!




I found that searching online together is a great way to start looking as well as discussing what is comfortable for both of you. Read the reviews of the toys you are considering. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Nro (Jul 10, 2012)

Thanks PDX. I actually kind of want to 'surprise' her with it. I have this thing at amazon(Remote Control Vibrating Silicone Bullet Egg USB Rechargeable Vibe Toy For Female Sex Wand Massager Sexual Wellness Discreet Packaging(Plum Red) that has great reviews. I was also hoping to get more detailed/personal opinions though.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

My wife says don't get anything that goes inside. She just doesn't like it. External vibrations only. She has a very good vibrator, and it is strong, but nothing that can be inserted into her. 

That's us, though.

We have padded wrist cuffs too. I tie her down often. 

No idea why that is fun for her. But she says I would be shocked by how many women say it is fun.

I speculate it has something to do with removing choice so she has no responsibility, therefore no guilt at all, and gives her something to struggle against which gives her muscles all the feedback she could want. She has actually torn the D-rings off a few pairs of cuffs over the years. The cuffs need to be padded leather or they leave abrasion on the wrists. Well, on my wife anyway.

Have fun exploring.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

(rolls sleeves up - finally my area of expertise).....Buy the best you can afford. Batteries run down REALLY quickly which makes them costly. Rechargeable but also remember that the clit it the most important area...so a glass dildo and a clit stim is likely to be the most important purchases. Leave noisy plug in types until you are both comfortable. 

Lube is the best sex toy plus candles and don't forget coconut oil for oral.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Wife and I use toys quite a bit and she wants me to pick them. 

My experience is a little different from @peacem. I've found what she likes to be very unpredictable. We have a drawer full of expensive toys that got tried and rejected. Money isn't an issue for us, but if it is, there is something to be said for getting an inexpensive toy of the right basic type, then if she likes it, getting a good one.

Its so difficult though, "toy" covers such a wide range. Could be handcuffs, or a small vibrator for her clit to use during intercourse, or a huge dildo so she can experience that, or a remote control egg or a strapon, or wand vibrator or.........

Has she given any hint on the sort of thing that she wants? 

Given no other information, a little pocket rocket vibrator is cheap and very effective to use during intercourse.

One caution - vibrators really can reduce sensitivity if you use them too often. That may be OK, but be aware of the potential issue.


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

uhtred said:


> One caution - vibrators really can reduce sensitivity if you use them too often. That may be OK, but be aware of the potential issue.


I am rationed with the Doxy. I am only 'allowed' it every now and then. I think the reason why I added oils into the toy discussion is that ...with practice and patience....it can be the cheapest and most effective toy.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Organic Coconut Oil. We have that, too. 

Hadn't thought of that as a toy. Interesting.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

We-vibe. Best toy ever for me. Great thing is it is used with a penis so fun for both. Down side is might take a few turn to get it to work quite right. I find woman face down man on top works best as it stays in and the feeling is amazing. It stimulates both gspot and clitoris. Use lube. A penis pushes it into the gspot and give it gentle movement on the clit.

I also like the liberator wedge and ramp. Allows for positions that give different positioning. 

Lulu balls if inserted in the vagina during oral sex on her creates additional 'natural' stimulation that compliments oral. 

Those are my favorites. We have also tried some bullets, **** ring, double penetration add on penis, butt plug, vibrating butt plug.

Of those. I'd chose double penetration, butt plug, cockring with the bullet. Note butt plugs can be used on boys too.

We also tried a sex swing didn't get it to 'work'. So that is right out the door.


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## WildMustang (Nov 7, 2017)

> One caution - vibrators really can reduce sensitivity if you use them too often. That may be OK, but be aware of the potential issue.


This...be careful that she doesn't lose sensitivity to (your) a man's touch, his tongue, his penis, etc.


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## xitinglife (Jun 25, 2017)

Nro said:


> Thanks PDX. I actually kind of want to 'surprise' her with it. I have this thing at amazon(Remote Control Vibrating Silicone Bullet Egg USB Rechargeable Vibe Toy For Female Sex Wand Massager Sexual Wellness Discreet Packaging(Plum Red) that has great reviews. I was also hoping to get more detailed/personal opinions though.


Surprise her? Sorry, but I just got a mental image of you whipping out a two-foot dildo and going "surprise!" with a huge idiotic grin on your face. But really, toys are all good, but on the flip side: make sure that you both are comfortable and it is indeed what she wants. I know of cases that led from toys, to threesomes, to divorce. Not to scare you, just something to consider. 

Indeed, depending on the toys, it can almost feel (to her, to you, or to both) like introduction of a third into your bed. 

Once you are convinced that both of you really would benefit from toys, why not just pick the right moment (with my wife, I find that it is quite unpredictable -- she has to be in the right mood of naughtiness and sexual arousal at the same time), sit down, and talk about what you would both like. You don't have to be explicit, but you could certainly get a few hints.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Nro said:


> Hello. I have zero experience with toys and neither does my wife. We've talked about introducing it into our sex life and she's open to the idea. I was hoping to get some good suggestions. Any input/advice would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance!




- Buy her a vibrating egg and you set the speeds while she uses it.


- Buy her a clit / g spot vibrator. Works on the outside and inside at the same time.


- Get her a big dildo with suction cup she can use.


- You could buy a male strap on 12 inches long and let her go hog wild on you.


- You can tie her down, blind fold her and use oils, sensual and massage and go from there.


- So many toys......:grin2:


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## Nro (Jul 10, 2012)

xitinglife said:


> Surprise her? Sorry, but I just got a mental image of you whipping out a two-foot dildo and going "surprise!" with a huge idiotic grin on your face. But really, toys are all good, but on the flip side: make sure that you both are comfortable and it is indeed what she wants. I know of cases that led from toys, to threesomes, to divorce. Not to scare you, just something to consider.
> 
> Indeed, depending on the toys, it can almost feel (to her, to you, or to both) like introduction of a third into your bed.
> 
> Once you are convinced that both of you really would benefit from toys, why not just pick the right moment (with my wife, I find that it is quite unpredictable -- she has to be in the right mood of naughtiness and sexual arousal at the same time), sit down, and talk about what you would both like. You don't have to be explicit, but you could certainly get a few hints.




I appreciate the concern and it made me chuckle. I didn't mean surprise in that sense. We've talked about it in the past, I simply haven't initiated in terms of actually making the purchase. I'm so bad with secrets that I've already told her that I not only posted here, but I am actively looking. 

Oh boy, thanks so much for the feed back. I feel like such a noob in this area. Coconut oil? Man, I'm scared to ask, but can someone elaborate? We honestly don't use lube too much. We have sex multiple times a day and it just seems like a natural 'progression' to add vibrators into the mix. I apologize for not clarifying. I meant toys as in vibrators and the such. Ideally, things we can do together. I really appreciate all of the helpful comments. It's fun to think about!


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## xitinglife (Jun 25, 2017)

Nro said:


> I appreciate the concern and it made me chuckle. I didn't mean surprise in that sense. We've talked about it in the past, I simply haven't initiated in terms of actually making the purchase. I'm so bad with secrets that I've already told her that I not only posted here, but I am actively looking.
> 
> Oh boy, thanks so much for the feed back. I feel like such a noob in this area. Coconut oil? Man, I'm scared to ask, but can someone elaborate? We honestly don't use lube too much. We have sex multiple times a day and it just seems like a natural 'progression' to add vibrators into the mix. I apologize for not clarifying. I meant toys as in vibrators and the such. Ideally, things we can do together. I really appreciate all of the helpful comments. It's fun to think about!


Coconut oil can be a great choice of a lubricant! I am not an expert either, just from my limited experience...

She never needed lubricant for vaginal intercourse, but once in the heat of the moment she wanted to try... something else. It worked out, she liked it, but we weren't prepared at the time. Next time came just as unpredictably, we were not equipped, so I suggested coconut oil from the kitchen pantry (pardon the graphic details, but I thought it would certainly work better than, ahem, saliva). Worked wonderfully. I later started reading on it and found out that (unfortunately?) we were not the ones who discovered its unconventional uses. 

Anyway, it doesn't heat up quickly, does not dry up, smells good, is absorbed into the skin quickly, and is easy to get off. We like it. Besides, my wife uses lots of coconut oil-based bathroom products anyway. 

A natural progression for us was to resort to toys as a means of satisfying her fantasy of having multiple copies of me (don't ask... complicated; but I do have a few posts on it here on TAM). So one time I suggested a toy or two to take her fantasy further. It can be fun when both are on the same page and each knows what the other expects from the experience.

With that said, we don't use any vibrators. I think I'd like to try!


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Try, try, try, try. Play, play, play, play. The specific toy(s) that will fun for both of you will vary. Women I know LOVE the rabbit vibes where there is a clit and g-spot vibe in one. HATE. I hate this thing. It is a waste of time. A Hitachi magic wand on the other hand... Yes! How will you know? Try and play!

For me, I like the brainy/teasy side of BDSM (vs the impact play). One thing he did that rocked my world was buy these candles whose wax melts at a low temperature. He blindfolded me and bound me and dribbled the wax on me. I did not know that they were not normal candles. But I also trust that he won't hurt me. These candle's wax turn into a nice lotion type texture. So some rubbing. Oh la la.


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## Don't Panic (Apr 2, 2017)

The candles @NobodySpecial mentioned are amazing. You could try setting up the scenario she mentions as the _next_ surprise for your wife, after the vibrator. It's mostly mental (also my favorite), potentially awesome for you both, and doesn't rely on electronics...unless of course you want to add those later >


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

Another thing to remember - Don't be intimidated by what she may want!

She may want the Johnny big boy. The Mister satisfy her. The Kong Dong. The John Holmes. The marriage wrecker 6000 (with optional gas tank attachment)

Just remember, no toy she chooses is something to replace you.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Hitachi magic wand... once you see it you will recognize it from multiple different sources of media.

I purchased it for my wife this xmas for her back pain since many people love it for the muscle relaxant and she REALLY enjoyed the relaxing sensation it gave her.... We use it every night on her back now and its her favorite toy.

AFTER the backrub (first use) i told her that many women use this on their clit and get explosive orgasms... so she was up to trying it.. and BOY did she like that too. Just a few nights ago she kept it on her during orgasm and it seemed like she was getting multiple O's for about 1 whole minute.... she said it was 'sex changing' lol

Anyway, give it a shot. If she likes it, they sell different attachments for new stuff. 

Disclaimer - Its big, and requires to be plugged in... but its POWERFUL and you wont get this sensation from battery operated. Its not quiet either.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

Coconut oil is a good conditioner for skin, all skin. My wife has no problem with it inside her vagina, from my finger and/or penis, so we never have to worry about where we spread it around.

Ours is organic and sold for cooking. Some people consume it but I doubt there’s any validity to any claim it’s better than other oils in the diet.

That does mean it’s worry free for using on the skin as long as you aren’t allergic to it.

My wife and I are big on massages, and now use only coconut oil.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

Nro said:


> Hello. I have zero experience with toys and neither does my wife. We've talked about introducing it into our sex life and she's open to the idea. I was hoping to get some good suggestions. Any input/advice would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance!


Go slow and see what each other like. Maybe go through a reputable toy store online and pick something out. Amazon.com has a lot of stuff in that area with good reviews.

What started it for us was she ordered something from "Bath and Body works" and they included a body massager--It was a very unsexy looking device. I would give her back massages with it and one day took it a little lower than normal. She enjoyed it and from there I brought a dolphin-shaped vibe from Fun Factory. She was embarrased at first, but let me try it. It did the job and she loved it. However it stopped buzzing after a dozen or so uses. From there I bought another Fun Factory vibe which we got a couple dozen uses before it died. For our 10 year I bought her a real Hitachi Magic Wand. She became addicted to it and could only have a fulfilling experience if she used it--I was no longer good enough. That died after 5 years or so of use. I thanked god for that. She bought herself another small vibe which we have only used a handful of times. It's certainly not as powerful as the Hitachi but can get the job done 1/2 the time. I think between her psych meds and learning to only climax with the Hitachi she can't have a full experience otherwise. 

So moral of the story is: Don't buy from Fun Factory and don't get anything too powerful. 

There's lots of different toys that can be used inside and out. Some buzz and other's provide pressure. Go slow, enjoy and most of all communicate with each other what you liked. Then maybe push the limits a little more and see if something else is a little better.


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

We're great fans of an online retailer called Lovehoney. They are not the cheapest but their items are well researched and of good quality. A great feature is they will let you buy and try for up to 365 days offering a full refund with absolutely no quibble. Knowing this, we have bought several expensive items, tried them and returned those that did not work for us even including a very oversized dildo we bought for a bet (she won the bet but it did not do anything else for her other than the fun of the strictly one-off challenge) - We returned that 7-8 months after purchase! They destroy all intimate returns so there's no danger of getting a "recycled" toy.


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