# Why my marriage is successful...



## Cindy

Ok, I've been married 9 years, sorry, but that's a miracle considering....so I thought I'd share my humble knowledge against you guys who've been married longer than I've been alive...

I was what we now affectionatley call "knocked up" when I was 19 yrs old, not even a year out of high school but in the military and overseas. I was devastated, my budding life as an adult and all the fun came to an abrupt halt when the pregnancy test turned postive. My 20 yro boyfriend said, ok, lets get married. I said no at first but then finally gave in. 

We were married in a foreign country at a JOP, no family, no wedding, no friends, couldn't even read what we were signing, since it was in another language. Both of us barely out of our teens and I in a maternity uniform, scared to death.

Fought like cats and dogs the first couple of years, even after our boy was born. I wanted to leave so many times. He was a cop and never home, and I felt alone and trapped. No sex, no real realtionship, just playing house trying to be parents. No relatives to help or babysit. It was just us and we didn't like each other. I think we stayed together at that time b/c neither of us were going to be the one to throw in the towel. We were both very immature and bullheaded.

Finally, we matured enough to talk without yelling and eventually could foresee issues and deal them before they were huge. We decided we were in this and that was it, both came from broken homes and didn't want that for our boy (who we both were completely in love with) no matter what. We were just going to have to deal and take responsibility for what we did. We would just have to put up with each other. 

We both got out of the military so I could stay home with the boy and he could persue a law enforcement career. He worked as a security guard and brought home just enough to meet our needs and none of our wants. He worked at least 16 hrs a day while applying for cop jobs across the state, and my 2 yro and I had to be quiet all day in a 2 br apprtment while he slept. He had time to eat, sleep, and work for a year. My respect for him was huge. He was taking care of us as best he could at 22. Finally he was hired as a deputy in a very small county.

We moved, again, that meant the 6th new bedroom for my son who wasn't yet 3. We stuck together, became partners as parents and a couple. My husband is truly my other half, an extension of me. He is the best father I have ever seen. He talks to our son, takes him fishing and teaches him things. He makes us laugh with his stories and jokes. He's very good at communicating his feelings and listening to me in return. When I have a bad day, it's just not ok until I tell him about it. He's the rock I rely on and my soft place to fall, always! He keeps me grounded and is always honest with me, whether I want to hear it or not. He earns my respect and love daily. He is my best friend. I am the luckiest lady on the planet!

We just bought our first house, our son is 8, my husband is a sergeant now with the county and trusted by the community, and we've recently celebrated the birth of our new baby girl. I leave love notes for him, he calls me just to say he loves me, and we gross our lil boy out from time to time being mushy. Plus, even after baby, he still thinks I am the hottest woman on the planet...I know, he's crazy. 

We aren't perfect and still have things to work on, but we are comfortable with each other like an old pair of shoes and we want to have a ceremony to celebrate our 10th anniversary. Not bad for getting pregnant, getting married, falling in love, and then having a wedding. (We don't recommend that route, however.) So as you can see, if has to be one thing that holds you together, it your decision to committ to your marriage on a daily basis. You will always have issues with communication, sex, money, and kids, but if you are committed to each other and your lives together, you will find a way through it all, and the benefits are wonderful. I can't wait for the next 10 yrs! 

Sorry for the novel, thanks for reading...


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## draconis

Well written.

Thank you for sharing.

Welcome to the forums.

draconis


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## Chris H.

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your incredible story!

Welcome to Talk About Marriage!


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## Green-Moo

It's great to see a marriage that has survived hard times and grown stronger for them.


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## lisakifttherapy

This is a great testament to the fact that hard work in a relationship pays off. You may have started out with the cards stacked against you but look at you now! This is very inspiring.


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## repunzel

WAW u are an inspiration for all the women and men who have lost hope in their marriage...i wish u success and happiness always...


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## TheLuckiest08

Wow.....your situation is an example of how relationships take WORK (even the best of them do). Many people run away when the going gets tough because they believe love should be fun all the time. Congrats to you guys!


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## happilymarried67

Congratualations to your both and your beautiful family. I hope you have an entire lifetime of happiness together.


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## riskey58

awesome story. Shows people how hard work and true love can conquer all. Best of luck.


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## hitrockbottom

Damn...I just read that...I feel better..thanks


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## AlwaysAZ

What a wonderful story. Thank you for taking the time to share that.


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## justean

i think you show us all, that relationships all have ups and downs, good and bad times. 
it doesnt mean getting divorced or splitting up at the first hurdle.
you show that marriage is for better or for worse.

a little gesture though,# if you could not read what you were signing, - you never know you might have missed the get out clause. :lol:


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## Suger_belle

Thank you for sharing. You are a live example that with determination, love and understanding, we can make our marriage work and stay happily everafter. 

All the best to you!


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## Josh

Amazing story. You both deserve one each other and the happiness that you are building together.


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## Triton

That is great !


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## jennyc

That is so great for you guys... not a lot of couples are willing to put in the time and effort. It's always the easy way to just walk, but u stuck it out. congrats!


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## kiran23

Your marriage life so Beautiful.....


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## Fritz

Great story and good luck in the future!


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## They Call Me Smooth

Thanks for sharing. It's nice to read stories like this.


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## wrhaven

This is the way marriage should work. 

You two got married young, but you have basically grown and matured together. The best part is that you still have the rest of your lives together because you are young. 

Congrats!


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## overitnolove

You just made my day. Just what I wanted to hear.

ThanK you so much!!!!


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## no1.daddy2kids

It is so refreshing to read your story. I spend my days in the divorce section. Its not that I want to be there, I was put there by someone else. Reading the messages I do tears one apart every day. I am so glad for you in that you were able to climb out of the issues that you faced. Anyone who thinks marriage is not work is living a lie. You have proved it and the benefits of that work are shining for you every day. Congratulations to you and your family. As everyone else here has said, I wish you many more.


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## fracturedwife

I cried reading this post. All I can say is congrats. You both have shown what an amazing effort can do to keep you together. I hope I can have this success story. Really it is beautiful.


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## SFladybug

Keep up the wonderful work and love. It is nice to know that hard work and a willingness to stick through it all will give us all goosebumps! Remember this when the hard times come again and re-start. Someone once said love is like a watch. It stops sometimes and you have to wind it up again. Good blessings to you and your family and all who want to wind it up again.


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## sidlyd

That was a great story, thanks for sharing.


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## MrsSchaffer

Wonderful success story.


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## yoshi2127

Life is beautiful and brings us the most random things to us. Your story is lovely =^.^=


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## dsfg_lover_001

Well thanks for sharing,and that is very nice one.


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## SimplyAmorous

And the sweetest part is : Every time you look at your son, you know it was all because of HIM.  Sometimes what we think is the worst thing that can happen in life , can turn out to be the BEST thing that ever happened to us. 

Love your story. What an encouragement to all who struggle in marraige.


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## shanlaily

e can make our marriage work and stay happily everafter.


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## DesperateHouseWife

I'm so happy for you & so jealous you made your marriage work


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## Jasminaa

It's so true when they say "stay together for the kids" it's too bad that people don't anymore.


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## FirstYearDown

Jasminaa said:


> It's so true when they say "stay together for the kids" it's too bad that people don't anymore.


My parents stayed together for their four kids, but they should have divorced.

Children do not need to see an unhappy and dysfunctional marriage. All it does is warp their views of relationships.


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## tacoma

> So as you can see, if has to be one thing that holds you together, it your decision to committ to your marriage on a daily basis. You will always have issues with communication, sex, money, and kids, but if you are committed to each other and your lives together, you will find a way through it all, and the benefits are wonderful.


I needed that, Thank you.


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## Juicy

I love this! Such a sweet story! Usually when couples get married so young people always think it won't last. Well done and I wish you many years of happiness in your marrige!


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## desert-rose

I like your story and it makes me happy to hear that you both were able to hang in there through the tough times and make something great together.


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## romantic_guy

Your story sounds much like ours only we were younger, she was 16 and and I was 17. We also come from parents who were divorced more than once. Our early relationship was not quite as troubled as yours, but we certainly had our share of fights and immaturity. We went to counseling and kept at it. Today things are AWESOME. We are best friends and the sex just keeps getting better. I think the hardest part is not expecting your partner to change, but dealing with the things in your own life that need changing.


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## COguy

I think the moral of the story is, if you're both committed, you can MAKE it work. Issues are going to come up with any two people, they are always solvable if you approach them together.

I'm really happy for you!


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## choco

Cindy said:


> Finally, we matured enough to talk without yelling and eventually could foresee issues and deal them before they were huge. We decided we were in this and that was it, both came from broken homes and didn't want that for our boy (who we both were completely in love with) no matter what. We were just going to have to deal and take responsibility for what we did. We would just have to put up with each other.


Good to hear so. You're one of the lucky couples out of the fighting mariage. That's because you both have the same goal with good communication--you don't want your boy suffer from a broken home. In our case, I'm not that lucky. I can't find a way to keep my marriage as we don't have anything in common and don't have the same goal. Although, we have a new born kid....really don't know what to do...


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## interair

Thank you for sharing, I'm inspired.


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