# How did you fall in love again?



## JuliaP (Mar 21, 2011)

Trying to gather tips here... If you fell out of love with your S at some point, regardless of the reasons, and then you fell BACK IN LOVE-

How did you do it? What were the things that let to love again?

Any tips for me or H are appreciated.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

JuliaP said:


> Trying to gather tips here... If you fell out of love with your S at some point, regardless of the reasons, and then you fell BACK IN LOVE-
> 
> How did you do it? What were the things that let to love again?
> 
> Any tips for me or H are appreciated.


It was muchly a situation of psychological/physical/spiritual attraction that comes about with any real relationship, given that you allow ample time for any pain from the prior relationship to more than adequately dissipate, thereby insuring a greater sense of love and trust!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Love is a verb it's not something you 'fall into'. Either you are committed to loving your spouse or you aren't.

I've been married 20 years and many of them sucked. I wish I had a better, easier answer for you but I don't.

I've told you several times before this isn't a quick fix. It takes time to fix something that's been broken.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

We did it.
You can read my stories in my sig, but basically we began doing things that the other liked instead of what we liked personally. 
It's hard work, but it can be done and the reward is well worth it.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

JuliaP said:


> Trying to gather tips here... If you fell out of love with your S at some point, regardless of the reasons, and then you fell BACK IN LOVE-
> 
> How did you do it? What were the things that let to love again?
> 
> Any tips for me or H are appreciated.


Men and women give and experience love differently. Are you looking for the man side or the woman side?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

It's not hard.

You do things that make him FEEL loved.

He does things that make you FEEL loved. 

Both of you will feel "in love" and both of you must take specific actions (i.e. YOU MUST WORK AT IT) to make the other person feel that way.

A good start is for you to figure out what you can do to make your husband feel loved by you.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

You fall in love again the same way you did the first time, by meeting each other's needs.

Get a copy of Willard Harley's book, His Needs, Her Needs, to see the most common things that men and women need from each other. For men, their needs are: sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support, and admiration. For women: affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support, and family commitment. Concentrate on actions that will make your husband feel loved.

The other thing to do is to determine each other's love language, and take action to make each other feel appreciated. The languages are: words of affirmation, touch, quality time together, acts of service, and gifts.

Finally, spend 10-15 hours per week doing things together that you both enjoy. Plan date nights, take walks together, pay attention to each other.

Discuss any resentments that have built up, and work to let them go. If you both concentrate on each other instead of your own hurt feelings, you can fall in love again.


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