# Need help. I am too emotional and clingy.



## CrazyVixen (Jun 14, 2012)

I would appreciate any responses to this. 
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We have a great relationship. I'm 19 and so is he. 

I'm just worried about how me being so emotional and clingy is going to affect us in the long run. I have a history of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, etc. So this may be a contributing factor. I also have agoraphobia which I will be seeking treatment for soon. 

I feel like I rely on him for everything. He works long hours. 6am - 5pm most of the time. We spend the weekends together and usually the rest of the day when he gets home. I don't have any outside friends because of my agoraphobia, it's very hard for me to make friends.

I just wish I didn't feel so down when he's not here. I feel like my whole life revolves around him. I love him to death and I know he loves me, but I know this isn't healthy for either of us. 

Maybe we are spending too much time together? Hopefully things get better once I get treatment for my depression and anxiety.


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## LastDance (Jun 8, 2012)

Treatment is a good idea. I hope it makes a huge difference in your life. Making friends, even online, will help. Maybe look for some forums where others enjoy things you enjoy. Do you enjoy reading or have any hobbies? 

It's hard not to feel clingy & emotional when you are hun.  I have been there myself. I know it can get better. Promise. This should improve with treatment so don't give up. 

Right now your whole life does revolve around him. At least reading your post it does sound like that. Until you can get out of the house more please look for some things you can do to fill your day a bit so you aren't just waiting for him. Okay? 

I assume you have Internet access since you are here posting. That means you have tons of things you can do to fill some time. Everything from playing games to watching movies or reading books or posting on boards like this one. You can journal. Learn a language. There is an endless supple of ideas if you have a look around. 

So pick a topic and go have a look. Have you tried doing a search for "laughing babies" or "funny cats" on youtube. Always makes me smile and laugh. 

Good luck and keep posting.


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## lotsoflove (Jun 11, 2012)

Hi! 

It sounds like you are seeking treatment so you are on the right track. I am also a very emotional person and I deal with depression, it can make relationships very hard. I am 30 and have been with my husband 10 years (married for 5) and sometimes my sensitivity and emotional nature can be an issue. 

Also, I am the type of person who puts ALL of my energy into my relationship which sometimes means friendships, hobbies, personal time go out the window. Sounds similar for you, but for different reasons. It is very important that you learn to be independently happy even though you are with him. I know in the past, it has scared my husband to feel like all my happiness relies on him, it is unfair and unhealthy. 

Hopefully as you work through your depression, anxiety and agoraphobia you will be able to make some friends and have some hobbies that don't include him. I have recently started yoga and learning piano and joined a hiking group my husband is very happy that I am trying to do things on my own and being more happy as individual not just as one half of a relationship. 

I wish I knew all this when I was 19! Good luck


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## Tainted Halo (Jun 14, 2012)

Hey there CrazyVixen, that's roughly the age that I was with my stbxh my world and life revolved around him, I could not stop thinking about him constantly calling his home I wanted to be with him all the time. Well it took a turn to the worst cause I could not function day to day it kinda become like an obsession with this person until I got on anti-depressants and just be away from is when I started coming back to normal then 2 years later married him. Every situation is different, just talk to him and if it feels like you are suffocating him then give him a bit of space.


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## CrazyVixen (Jun 14, 2012)

Thanks everyone for the replies so far. It is greatly appreciated. 

LastDance - I will certainly follow your advice and start doing some different things online. I am hoping to get into an online-college program soon, so hopefully this will help me some! Because of my depression I tend to take a lot of things the wrong way, if you know what I mean? I'm easily offended and that can have an effect on our relationship as well. I hope I can work through these issues soon. 

lotsoflove - You sound just like me! I spend all my time thinking about my relationship. How to improve it, how he feel's it going, what if I said something wrong? It can be emotionally draining at times. I hope I can make friends soon, but for obvious reasons I don't see that happening soon. Thank you for your suggestions! <3

Tainted Halo - You stated that it was the age you were? Does that mean you are older now and have gotten better at this or are you still struggling with it?


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## Tainted Halo (Jun 14, 2012)

Yes I am 33 years now, 17-19 years old when I met my stbxh and it comes and goes for instance at this time we are going through our separation period I'm becoming clingy and constantly wanting to be around him. Perhaps keeping your mind on other things like taking up a hobby/reading/etc.. Hope this helps


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Crazy,

The two of you have been together since you were in around the 8th grade then? (14 yrs old?)

You guys are very young. Not that this is a bad thing but you both have a lot of living to do yet

First and foremost, you need to get a grip on all your issues (depression, agoraphobia) and then start to live as a responsible adult. Do you work outside of the home? If not, this is something you have to do.

Good luck!


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## CrazyVixen (Jun 14, 2012)

Toffer said:


> Crazy,
> 
> The two of you have been together since you were in around the 8th grade then? (14 yrs old?)
> 
> ...


You are very right. I have a lot of growing up to do to say the least. I haven't experienced as much life as people my age normally do. I don't go out with friends, parties, movies, etc. These things terrify me. My agoraphobia has made it difficult for me to seek out employment, which is why I am getting treatment. Thanks for your response.


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