# Wow where to begin



## lostncgirl (Nov 21, 2011)

Well for anyone making fun of the kardashians heres a story for ya to laugh at. Just remember while you are laughing I feel like I am dying.

My husband and I have been together for about a year and a half. We had alot of ups and downs. Mostly because of our kids. His children who are 25 and 19 wants desperately for thier parents to reconcile. The daughter has done everything from calling me a **tch to telling lies about conversations. All the while she used me as a confidant and someone to play interference with daddy when she wanted something. My 15 year old was in a state of change and my husband just acts like he can't stand him, says he doesn't understand kids who are lazy or irresponsible.

When we decided to marry , we talked about it for months and everytime we were ready something else would blow up. (this should have been my first clue) We finally worked through everything and decided after 4 nights of talking to just run off elope and tell the kids later. We did that and we were happy. His kids blew up when they found out, but everything seemed to fall in place. 

Then about a month and a half after our marriage, he fell and tore his quad tendon. He couldn't bathe, or walk without assistance. So in this time he really hit some down points. I tried working thru all this with him. His daughter was playing the new adele song for him every time i turned around. Told him it reminded her of him and her mom, now that hes remarried. She even told me at the hospital that her mom needed to be there instead of me. It seemed the more time he spent with her the unhappier with me he got.

Then i asked him and he wouldn't tell me anything. Finally he told me he wasn't happy and thought it was best if we moved on. Well we went about 2 weeks no contact, then he would send me texts acting like he missed me and wanting me to come over. I refused until I had been gone 1 month. Then I met him and got the rest of my things that i left. 

He was wanting hugs and kisses and i wouldn't give in. Suddenly he started telling me he wasn't rushin anything and he didn't know where he stood. Needless to say i just left. Then the other day he started "friendly" texting and saying little things like i didn't realize how much he cares. asking me to come see him. I was like no way i will be your sex buddy, i am your wife and you don't seem to care. then he says thats not what i want from you i don't want you to be a sex buddy. Then just things like what should i be doing and have you given up. Then when i finally respond with I don't think there is anything and I haven't seen any reason not to give up he goes into this. I took all the things he said wrong, he never sees a future for us. our worlds are too different, then he starts sends me a List of friendly advice things i should change about myself.

Needless to say each time it devastates me. I can't sleep, I cry constantly, I can't concentrate at work. Everyone around me thinks I should just forget him and be over it. Thats not easy when you love someone. It couldn't have happened at a worse time , than when all this hit the news with the Kardashians. because we only lasted about a month longer. So it hurts when I hear this. Maybe I am being over sensitive but there can be serious problems that come up very quickly.

I just don't know how to move on.. i feel terrible. part of me wants to make our marriage work, and part of me wants to just stay in bed and never get out.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

how long ago did your husband get divorced? and I have to ask- Were you his affair partner?


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## lostncgirl (Nov 21, 2011)

He seperated 3 years ago. Divorced 2 years ago. No I was not, his wife actually left him.. His daughter and my daughter were best friends in high school and this is how we met.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

lostncgirl said:


> Well for anyone making fun of the kardashians heres a story for ya to laugh at. Just remember while you are laughing I feel like I am dying.
> 
> My husband and I have been together for about a year and a half. We had alot of ups and downs. Mostly because of our kids. His children who are 25 and 19 wants desperately for thier parents to reconcile. The daughter has done everything from calling me a **tch to telling lies about conversations. All the while she used me as a confidant and someone to play interference with daddy when she wanted something. My 15 year old was in a state of change and my husband just acts like he can't stand him, says he doesn't understand kids who are lazy or irresponsible.
> 
> ...


Other than his daughters - is it possible to make it work? Staying in bed forever isn't really an option...

And forget the Kardashian comparison - don't even go there. They aren't "real" people. I'm sure when she got married, she was hoping it would be good for ratings and keeping her name in the spotlight.


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## lostncgirl (Nov 21, 2011)

As far as he and I go, we get along good. I can live with the daughter I have raised 3 teenagers so I can deal with it. My problem is I don't understand why he starts talking to me then blows up and tells me to move on. etc. 

I believe his family has issued him ultimatiums about me. Last week he had been texting me when his daughter sent me a message that said can you please leave my dad alone were trying to have dinner. then proceeded to tell me that I was his ex and I need to go away. 

Usually when he does like he did the other day, and he goes off and rants I just don't respond and leave him alone. It might take a day or a week or sometimes a little longer and eventually he will contact me. 

My problem is getting an answer from him. Like I said he says one thing and when it gets right down to it he turns it around immediately. I know his son is getting married this weekend and hes dealing with family coming in and his ex's family etc. 

Also how do I know he won't do this again. I look at it and realize that we were in the hardest part of a marriage, the first year, blending the family etc, when suddenly he got hurt and had to be out. Hes a very independent person and I know it bothered him to have to have someone to take care of him. All of this just seemed to torpedo everything.

Like I said I am just so confused and trying to work thru my feelings. My family and friends just seem to tire out listening to me sometimes so I keep it to myself.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

lostncgirl said:


> As far as he and I go, we get along good. I can live with the daughter I have raised 3 teenagers so I can deal with it. My problem is I don't understand why he starts talking to me then blows up and tells me to move on. etc.
> 
> I believe his family has issued him ultimatiums about me. Last week he had been texting me when his daughter sent me a message that said can you please leave my dad alone were trying to have dinner. then proceeded to tell me that I was his ex and I need to go away.
> 
> ...


What you are saying makes perfect sense to me. It's somewhat complicated.

At first I wanted to say that if he's been steady about not matching actions and words, then I wouldnt' expect this to change.

BUT - yes - being hurt probably bruised his ego. And I've never done it - but blending a family can't be easy.

Still - you are his wife. He's letting his kids and/or his family dictate how important you will be to him. Just doesn't seem like a good sign to me. Even if he was hurt - physically and emotionally.


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## lostncgirl (Nov 21, 2011)

Day 2 of no contact, I was able to eat a small amount last night. Trying to hide this from my family is so hard but I do not want to ruin the holidays for anyone with my sadness.

I keep telling myself to just be patient and take this time for myself and figure out what is best for me. I know my husband is busy this week with his family and friends coming in with his son getting married. At the same time, I wonder if I am fooling myself in holding onto any hope he may call and we can begin to work on things.

I really don't like this feeling. I married him because I truly loved him and wanted a future with him. Now it just seems like a joke or embarrassment to some.

I am glad this board is here, and I can see that others know the feelings I am experiencing.


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## lostncgirl (Nov 21, 2011)

*update*

Well I heard from my DH on thanksgiving. He asked me if we could sit down and talk next week. In the mean time he made arrangements for me to visit with my MIL for a little while. She talked to me for awhile and said that my Step daughter who is 19 was behind everything. She told her dad that it was either me or her. She told him she would move out if I didn't. 

Her grandmother told me she was being a little b##ch and that she believed that my step daughter is in love with her own father. She uses the preface that she wants him and her mom together but according to my MIL she treats her mom really bad also. She said that my step daughter asked my MIL if she could move in with her 6 hours away! Instead of 5 minutes from her house. 

I am trying not to get my hopes up. I want to talk to him, but I am afraid hes just going to suddenly say he can't out of fear of losing her. 

I feel my only option is to wait and see. If he suddenly changes his mind again then the only thing I can do is end it at that point in my mind and heart and try to move on.

this is the hardest thing in the world.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. :-(

Your H needs to leave his children out of his personal life. His D sounds like she likes to make trouble, is she still friends with your D?

The next time she tries to contact you, do not respond, no matter how hard she tries to push your buttons. Do not give her the satisfaction of knowing that she gets to you.

I would also suggest seeing a counselor for yourself to help deal with some of these issues.

I know how painful this is, but trust me on this, staying in bed all days hurts a lot worse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lostncgirl (Nov 21, 2011)

Wow heres a new kink in it all... I kept getting web text messages telling my husband had moved on... Then I get them with phone number and a name of a woman. Told me to ask her myself. Well thats not me, if my husband is dating (even if we are seperated) then I will ask him. So i wait and then I finally look the woman up on FB, find her (wasn't hard), friend requested her, she accepted!!! then found on there and got screen shots of his beautiful daughter telling this woman on the day I moved out.

Plan is working its in motion,,,, the next day at 11 at night asking the woman do you love me yet? Well come to find out, the SD gave DH phone number to a woman who she works with!! So the woman was texting and calling him. Now hes a grown man and could have refused but no, he didn't.

Then a week later the SD posted on her wall, I am so happy my plan worked with about 15 smileys. Needless to say I screen printed it all. Then I confronted the DH, all I said was no lies, who is she?

He spilled it all immediately. Apologizing, he called his mom told her what was going on. Its been intense. I made sure the screen shots made it to him.

I know theres alot to deal with here but I can deal with my marriage as long as I don't have some little EEERRRRRR of a SD interfering! Trying to make daddy do what she wants!

»


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

lostncgirl said:


> Wow heres a new kink in it all... I kept getting web text messages telling my husband had moved on... Then I get them with phone number and a name of a woman. Told me to ask her myself. Well thats not me, if my husband is dating (even if we are seperated) then I will ask him. So i wait and then I finally look the woman up on FB, find her (wasn't hard), friend requested her, she accepted!!! then found on there and got screen shots of his beautiful daughter telling this woman on the day I moved out.
> 
> Plan is working its in motion,,,, the next day at 11 at night asking the woman do you love me yet? Well come to find out, the SD gave DH phone number to a woman who she works with!! So the woman was texting and calling him. Now hes a grown man and could have refused but no, he didn't.
> 
> ...


But the problem is - this girl probably isn't going to go away. She seems to be the one in control of the situation - and NOT your H.

Honestly - to me - that sounds like a lot more drama than I would ever want to deal with. Everything from your MIL saying the D is "in love" - to your H basically ignoring her actions - to this little brat of a girl who is working really hard to keep her Daddy to herself.

If your H can't man-up and deal with his Daughter - I don't think you have any choice but to just walk away.

So sorry...


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