# I lost trust in my wife..she does now know



## Tony2477 (Jul 13, 2011)

I do not trust my wife at this point in time, we have been married 11 years and have kids together, its our first marriage for both of us. Aparently, I have this heavy gut feeling (that hurts me almost everytday) and it's been happening for at least 3 months, a feeling that she is cheating on me. I noticed she is very private with her phone, sometimes locks the office door, she told me that she lost sexual attraction in me. I dont know how else to explane, when you are in pain you mind has a lot to say but when it comes to write it down, i am lost for words. Any input would help. I feel like i am reaching depression.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

This will sound harsh, but stop wallowing -- for now. You don't even know what you are wallowing about. So start with finding out. Locked office doors and private phone messaging do not belong in a marriage, period. So it's time for a decisisin: live like this, or take steps to change it either way. I vote for changing it, no matter what the outcome. She's lost attraction; work on what it wil ltake to get it back, IF she wants to work with you on the marriage. So start with figuring that out. Sitting in the other room being depressed is not gonan do it for her to want you, I'll tell you that... it is as unattractive as you can be right now.

I'm not saying your gut is wrong. In fact, I'm sure it is right. But you've got to DO something about it... starting with identifying what it is your fighting against, and fighting for. And then, you've got to fight - both.

Wake up, and go get 'em! Sorry you are here and for your pain.


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

I agree, phone privacy and locked doors have no place in a marriage of 11 years. Her outright admittance of losing sexual attraction to you combined with the other things are a sure indication your gut is correct.


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## the gifted (Aug 31, 2011)

If you were confident you could lose confidence in your wife but your wife could not gain your trust in her so lose confidence This is not necessarily a negative But if you wish and I do not suppose you'd like Allow her to feel like you feel


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Input about what? She's clearly no more of trusting of you than you her. You said so yourself.


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

Tony2477 said:


> I do not trust my wife at this point in time, we have been married 11 years and have kids together, its our first marriage for both of us. Aparently, I have this heavy gut feeling (that hurts me almost everytday) and it's been happening for at least 3 months, a feeling that she is cheating on me. I noticed she is very private with her phone, sometimes locks the office door, she told me that she lost sexual attraction in me. I dont know how else to explane, when you are in pain you mind has a lot to say but when it comes to write it down, i am lost for words. Any input would help. I feel like i am reaching depression.


Three letters / words: VAR (Voice Activated Recorder) - invest in several and plant them in the parts of the house / car that she frequents when on the phone. 

Keyloggers on tbe computers - what she is doing, there is no place for in a marriage.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Like Dadof3 said, do some investigating, but also like 2xl says, get yourself mentally prepared to deal with whatever you find out. If she is cheating and you want to save the marriage, don't blow it by confronting until you are certain what she has been doing, getting clingy, needy or sad, show her the line in the sand, stand by your principles and don't buy into the blameshifting that she will inevitably try to do on you. Sorry you are having these feelings but those are clear red flags so make sure not to let this continue.


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