# Difficult decision



## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

Last year I asked my girlfriend of six years to marry me. She said yes and we’re due to get married next year.

But something has been nagging at me for a very long time. Even though I’m 100% straight (and male), ever since I was about 12 years old, I’ve always wanted to grow my nails long, beautiful and what would be considered “feminine” by conventional standards. My mother always had very long, beautiful nails, and she used to spend hours filing, painting and generally taking good care of them.

Even though I was a boy, I was always so jealous of her nails, and I wanted nothing more than to grow my nails long and beautiful like hers. I let them grow quite long a few times in my early teens and I absolutely loved them, but each time my mother would notice and make me cut them. Apparently, boys are “supposed” to have short nails. It didn’t seem fair, and nobody could give me a good reason why that was the case, other than “that’s just how it is”.

Ever since then, my desire to have long, beautiful, polished nails has only intensified. Even more so because my fiancee also has very long, beautiful nails, and I’m incredibly jealous of hers too.

About two months ago I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore, and I told her. She was doing her nailcare routine and I just told her outright that I’m incredibly jealous of her nails. She was very confused by this of course, so I told her some of the backstory. I told her that I really wanted to grow my nails out, and it’s something I’ve dreamed of since I was 12 years old.

She was surprisingly supportive at first, and she told me that I should let them grow for a couple months, so I could try it out. I got straight to it, and started a daily nailcare routine of my own. Two months have passed and my nails are the longest they’ve ever been. I absolutely LOVE them, and I use every opportunity to show them off. I’ve been getting compliments all the time and it feels great.

The problem is, my fiancee wants me to cut them now, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t ever want to go back to having boring, short nails, and I’d like to grow them even longer in fact. But since I’m refusing to cut them, she’s stopped being intimate with me. I love her from the bottom of my heart and can’t bear the thought of losing her, but at the same time, I want to be with someone who can accept me for who I am. I’m hoping that over time she will get used to them and it won’t be much of a big deal anymore, but it’s a very difficult decision to make.

Any advice appreciated!


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Withholding sex as a weapon is not a good thing , 
this is bigger and speaks more of what will come every-time she wants to make a point she will go on sex strike , 

no one has the right to tell another person what to do with their body in how to dress or their hair color or length , 
so the same goes for your nails 

having said that , you can find a compromise , this could be having them a not too long 
I just happened to see a fashion program on french tv not long ago and the fashion on women any way is not as long as they used to be it is the only thing i can think of 
she talked of color but I just was not interested so it went in one ear and out the other 

she might be ok with them long but might have got some homophobic remarks from people she cares about , 
like her mother or siblings when you were flashing them around a bit too much .so you could try not do that so much ,
while I THINK you have the right to have them long you don't have to stick them in others faces .

polished nails , what type polish do you use ? IS IT very bright you could think about this ,
many women don't use polish or not often, 

i know a man that had long finger nails but he never used polish of any kind 
he was a big man the type when he walked into a room you know he was there , he could pick up 2 men 
one in each arm and toss them like sticks 
but he was a LADIES man , he had all the women after him 
a bit like Mr Big in sex in the city type


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I would dump her. What if next time you want to grow your beard 2 meters long and she doesn't like it? Or maybe you want to grow pointy ears and paint yourself green, like an elf?


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## abigailla (Jul 14, 2021)

Talk to her frankly, try to understand how unacceptable this is for her, and maybe if she cannot accept you as you are, then it is worth breaking up to her?


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## perashlie (Jul 14, 2021)

What if you suddenly change somehow and she doesn't like it again? Your body is your business. Talk to her frankly.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Here's the solution:

Learn to play guitar and more importantly, fingerpicking. You then have a reason to have long(ish) nails on one hand, and short nails on the other - a compromise. You use the well trimmed nails for adult time, because no one wants long nails shoved up their...

Your welcome.

Alternatively, wait until/if you have a daughter. My nails used to be painted all the time, courtesy of my daughter. So it was cute, not weird.


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## Kaliber (Apr 10, 2020)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> I want to be with someone who can accept me for who I am.


Rarely you will find them, unless you are Jeff Bezos who can afford to take a dump in public and women will still run after him!
When it comes to marriage women will tend to look for traits that will insure the survivability of her and her off spring, having feminine traits are not on that list, for many women having feminine traits in a man is not attractive.
She might change and accept you but the risk of her being loyal to you will diminish as soon as a more masculine man comes into the picture (from workplace, pubs .. Etc)

I don't think you are taking the female nature into account, or maybe you don't really know it!

John, get these books, it will be an eye opener for you, and you will have many AHA moments, trust me (check the reviews) :

Practical Female Psychology: For the Practical Man eBook : South, Joseph: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store
The Rational Male: Amazon.co.uk: Tomassi, Rollo: 8601420531178: Books


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> Even though I was a boy, I was always so jealous of her nails, and I wanted nothing more than to grow my nails long and beautiful like hers. I let them grow quite long a few times in my early teens and I absolutely loved them, but each time my mother would notice and make me cut them. Apparently, boys are “supposed” to have short nails. It didn’t seem fair, and nobody could give me a good reason why that was the case, other than “that’s just how it is”.


I feel you. My mom was disabled, so she didn't use her hands much and was unable to do work around the house. Her nails were very long and very beautiful. Her nails, hair, and make-up were always done perfect because those were things she could actually do with a tiny bit of help. I loved and was very envious of her nails. 

Now that I'm able to grow nails I don't.  I do too much with my hands and frequently chipped or broke nails in the course of a day. So, I keep them "sport length" or a bit shorter.

If you like them, great. But you have to accept that some people are going to associate your nails with feminine leanings.




JohnDoe1980 said:


> But since I’m refusing to cut them, she’s stopped being intimate with me.


I suspect the feminine nails may be a turn off to her. Some women don't mind, some find it kinda hot, and some women find any hint of femininity to be a sexual turn off.


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## hamphrey (Jul 14, 2021)

Talk honestly with each other and how you envision living together. Perhaps you are really out of the way.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I'm just going to sit here and eat my popcorn.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

bobert said:


> because no one wants long nails shoved up their...


This is so obvious it's 'duh'. I guess because a guy's genitals are external that some don't think about this. Hands that feel like sand paper are also a big no-no.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> Last year I asked my girlfriend of six years to marry me. She said yes and we’re due to get married next year.
> 
> But something has been nagging at me for a very long time. Even though I’m 100% straight (and male), ever since I was about 12 years old, I’ve always wanted to grow my nails long, beautiful and what would be considered “feminine” by conventional standards. My mother always had very long, beautiful nails, and she used to spend hours filing, painting and generally taking good care of them.
> 
> ...


Do you paint them as well? Have you ever wanted to do other feminine things?
One of the the things I love about my husband is his hands, and that includes short nails.
Must admit long and especially painted nails would be a big turn off. 
It's a shame you didn't tell her years ago, it will be harder if you end up breaking up now.
What is more important to you, her or the nails?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

perashlie said:


> What if you suddenly change somehow and she doesn't like it again? Your body is your business. Talk to her frankly.


When you get married it's also the spouses business.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> I would dump her. What if next time you want to grow your beard 2 meters long and she doesn't like it? Or maybe you want to grow pointy ears and paint yourself green, like an elf?


I think a beard is a very different thing.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Can you tell me how you both do housework, gardening, work on the car, ironing, working etc with very long nails? I just don't get it.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

She didn’t know you were into growing long fingernails and painting them, which is very unusual for a male, until way after you were with her. Had she known this, she probably wouldn’t have dated you.
Now she’s withholding sex, which should be a deal breaker, trying to get you to change.

I see both your perspectives. She doesn’t know what other kind of oddball fetishes you May have, probably thinks you May have tendencies to want to be with men, and is likely going to dump you.
You are wanting her to accept you the way you are, which is reasonable. However, she didn’t know this about you until now.

I suspect you’re going to have to move on. Just the fact that you’re debating leaving your fiancée over a fingernail fetish is probably showing you don’t really shouldn’t marry her.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

What if she decided to let her leg hair and underarm hair grow because that's what her Dad did when she was young? How would you feel? Probably like you were married to a man. That's how your wife feels.

The question is which do you want...long nails or to be married? Your wife should come first, especially in this regard. Sorry to be blunt, but just being honest.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

What if she doesn't want to be intimate because his long nails are causing her pain? Is she supposed to just suck it up?


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> This is so obvious it's 'duh'. I guess because a guy's genitals are external that some don't think about this. Hands that feel like sand paper are also a big no-no.


Blondie, I'm surprised some of these other cats didn't bring that out and explain it to JD rather than telling him she's being unreasonable. It didn't take a lot of mental gymnastic for me to figure out why Diane7 loves her husband's hands and short nails. JD's chick is probably withholding sex because she doesn't want her kitty clawed at like it was a cat's scratching post.
I can't help but wonder if old JD here is related to Bigpete1.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Blondilocks said:


> What if she doesn't want to be intimate because his long nails are causing her pain? Is she supposed to just suck it up?


Maybe she should try to shove her long nails up his entry. See how he likes it


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Cheaters and child molesters would like to be loved for who they are too. The issue is that their identity is incompatible with who they wish to be loved by, i.e. normal people.

Your desire to have your nails long and pretty is not normal, and thus, most normal people will not be ok with it, or find you desirable if you do keep them in your desired configuration. My hunch is that you have some psychological issue going on, that's latched onto your mothers fingernails for some inexplicable reason.

You simply need to decide what's more important to you. Your fingernails, or your fiance.

Though, if you even need to think about that choice, it pretty much confirms that you have psychological issues. As no reasonable and mentally healthy person would find a fingernail fetish vs. fiance conflict to be any sort of conundrum.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

frenchpaddy said:


> Withholding sex as a weapon is not a good thing ,





Evinrude58 said:


> Now she’s withholding sex, which should be a deal breaker, trying to get you to change.


Or, French and Evin, she finds his feminine nails sexually unappealing and simply doesn't want to have sex...with him, anyway.



Blondilocks said:


> What if she doesn't want to be intimate because his long nails are causing her pain? Is she supposed to just suck it up?


You've discovered the secret cause of lesbian bed death!

In all seriousness, though, I've known a few lesbian and bi ladies who are partnered and both have long nails. It's not about the length, but about them being smooth with no snagging and technique, apparently. I once asked because I'm nosy.


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## perashlie (Jul 14, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> When you get married it's also the spouses business.


Disagree with you. Imagine the situation that you are married. You look great, you are slim. But suddenly your husband wants you to be much thinner. Painfully thin. Just his whim. So what? Will you follow his wishes, despite the fact that it will harm your health?


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

She’s probably turned off by your feminine nails. She’s probably questioning your masculinity, and maybe your sexuality.
News flash: most women are attracted to masculinity and turned off by feminine men.

if your girlie nails are that important to you, break up with her, it’s probably for the best. Just understand that it won’t be easy finding a woman who’s attracted to a man with girlie nails.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

I’m concerned for her.

You picked a person and waited a long time to reveal your nail thing, and that’s a big thing. You waited for a commitment.

This is calculated on your part, and the grooming of your fiancé is what gives me the shivers, not the grooming of your nails.

What happens when you are married. What happens when she becomes pregnant.

You picked a safe person, and I’m not sure that’s love. You tried her out, tested her.

Next time, you meet all your dates with your manicure ok? That gives People choice. And somewhere, there will be a person who will go on a second date and a third. You deserve to be accepted for who you are - with the right person yes.

Not like this.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

And another thing, your jealousy is pathological - find a woman with short nails who doesn’t paint them ever. You make too many references to being jealous of their nails. That will keep things mentally clean on both your sides. Because you want a stable relationship. Don’t you?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Long nails on a man, weird. She’s not wrong.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

perashlie said:


> Disagree with you. Imagine the situation that you are married. You look great, you are slim. But suddenly your husband wants you to be much thinner. Painfully thin. Just his whim. So what? Will you follow his wishes, despite the fact that it will harm your health?


I guess that's why it's important to be with the right person.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> Long nails on a man, weird. She’s not wrong.


It's worse if he paints them.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> It's worse if he paints them.


He could paint the Union Jack on them...


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

perashlie said:


> Disagree with you. Imagine the situation that you are married. You look great, you are slim. But suddenly your husband wants you to be much thinner. Painfully thin. Just his whim. So what? Will you follow his wishes, despite the fact that it will harm your health?


This is a straw man argument. We're talking about normal, healthy, marriages. What one spouse does with their body and life affects the other and the relationship as a whole. 

He is absolutely free to do as he pleases with his body. And he also has to accept whatever consequences come from those choices. One of those consequences is going to be fewer women finding him sexually appealing, apparently including his current partner.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

MJJEAN said:


> This is a straw man argument. We're talking about normal, healthy, marriages. What one spouse does with their body and life affects the other and the relationship as a whole.
> 
> He is absolutely free to do as he pleases with his body. And he also has to accept whatever consequences come from those choices. One of those consequences is going to be fewer women finding him sexually appealing, apparently including his current partner.


If the wife doesn't want to be with him because of his long nails, he's better off without her.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

In Absentia said:


> If the wife doesn't want to be with him because of his long nails, he's better off without her.


Would you want to be with a masculine woman? Serious question. Most men don't find masculine traits in a woman attractive just like most women don't find feminine traits in a man attractive.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

MJJEAN said:


> Would you want to be with a masculine woman? Serious question. Most men don't find masculine traits in a woman attractive just like most women don't find feminine traits in a man attractive.


it's just his fingernails. If she really loved him, she would accept him for what he is. A guy who likes long fingernails. Nothing to do with his masculinity. Why do we always have to put people in compartments?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

In Absentia said:


> it's just his fingernails. If she really loved him, she would accept him for what he is. A guy who likes long fingernails. Nothing to do with his masculinity. Why do we always have to put people in compartments?


What does love have to do with attraction? She may love him, but displaying traits that are widely viewed as feminine will affect attraction for most women.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

In Absentia said:


> it's just his fingernails. If she really loved him, she would accept him for what he is. A guy who likes long fingernails. Nothing to do with his masculinity. Why do we always have to put people in compartments?


What if it was JUST his mannerisms, or if he JUST wanted to wear makeup, or if he JUST wanted to wear dresses. It’s not attractive to most women dude. She doesn’t have to “accept him as he is” if she’s not attracted to him as he is.
Refusing to accept reality does not change reality.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

MJJEAN said:


> Or, French and Evin, she finds his feminine nails sexually unappealing and simply doesn't want to have sex...with him, anyway.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You know, I could have gone to my grave being totally ignorant of this information. And blissfully ignorant, I might add.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> You know, I could have gone to my grave being totally ignorant of this information. And blissfully ignorant, I might add.


I was 18 and hanging with friends. Somehow the porn conversation came up and I admitted I had never watched a porn. It was decided by the committee that my education had been neglected and this must be corrected! So, we're leaving a porn running in the background and doing random things. I'm (not joking, it's perfect) sitting on the floor by the coffee table smoking some herb and doing my nails. A few people were having a drink and playing cards while others were playing Scatterwords or something like it. A few just chatting and indulging in a drink and/or smoke as well. 

I randomly look up and see a lesbian scene on screen. These ladies had candy apple red nails from your vagina's nightmares! Like, 3 inches long, girl!!! So, I asked how in this dimension those ladies weren't in pain because Holy Nails, Batman! Stacy, a bisexual and lovely redheaded cousin of the friend we were hanging with, and another lady kindly explained it to me. Stacy also explained how a woman can orgasm while wearing a strap on and harness using the "bump n grind" method. Stacy was cool as all hell.

This is important info! What if a youngin needs this info and you don't have it? 😮 It's our responsibility to educate the next generation if they have need! 

So, ladies and gentleman who like long nails, make sure you file them smooth and pay close attention to angles and such.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

MJJEAN said:


> This is important info! What if a youngin needs this info and you don't have it? 😮 It's our responsibility to educate the next generation if they have need!


Okay, Mom, if I have to.😜


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Ugh. You ladies are something else.


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## perashlie (Jul 14, 2021)

MJJEAN said:


> This is a straw man argument. We're talking about normal, healthy, marriages. What one spouse does with their body and life affects the other and the relationship as a whole.
> 
> He is absolutely free to do as he pleases with his body. And he also has to accept whatever consequences come from those choices. One of those consequences is going to be fewer women finding him sexually appealing, apparently including his current partner.


In normal, healthy relationships, people respect and accept their partner's choices.


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## perashlie (Jul 14, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> I guess that's why it's important to be with the right person.


That's right, it is important that the right person is nearby.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

MJJEAN said:


> What does love have to do with attraction?


A lot!


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

DudeInProgress said:


> What if it was JUST his mannerisms, or if he JUST wanted to wear makeup, or if he JUST wanted to wear dresses. It’s not attractive to most women dude. She doesn’t have to “accept him as he is” if she’s not attracted to him as he is.
> Refusing to accept reality does not change reality.


You think this because you are narrow minded. You take your personal view and you apply it to everybody. Very depressing.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> If the wife doesn't want to be with him because of his long nails, he's better off without her.


They would be better off without each other.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> You think this because you are narrow minded. You take your personal view and you apply it to everybody. Very depressing.


I don't think many women would be attracted to a guy who did those things.
I can't see it in anyway as narrow minded not to want a husband who grows his nails and paints his nails or wears make up.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

perashlie said:


> In normal, healthy relationships, people respect and accept their partner's choices.


They also respect and accept their partners views on things.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> it's just his fingernails. If she really loved him, she would accept him for what he is. A guy who likes long fingernails. Nothing to do with his masculinity. Why do we always have to put people in compartments?


Growing and painting your nails is a feminine trait.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> *I don't think many women would be attracted to a guy who did those things.*
> I can't see it in anyway as narrow minded not to want a husband who grows his nails and paints his nails or wears make up.


How do you know? It's narrow minded because you are projecting your views and generalising. Why don't you say: *I wouldn't be attracted* to a man who grows his nails? Do you know how many billions of women live on this planet? It's stereotyping and putting people in boxes.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> How do you know? It's narrow minded because you are projecting your views and generalising. Why don't you say: *I wouldn't be attracted* to a man who grows his nails? Do you know how many billions of women live on this planet? It's stereotyping and putting people in boxes.


Maybe because I have known countless women in my sixty something years. Most women want a man who looks like a man. 
If we wanted someone who wore women's clothes or painted their nails there are plenty of women out there.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Maybe because I have known countless women in my sixty something years. Most women want a man who looks like a man.
> If we wanted someone who wore women's clothes or painted their nails there are plenty of women out there.


Ok, but Id' like to inform you that we are in the 21st Century. There is a big slice of society you don't seem to be aware of.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> Ok, but Id' like to inform you that we are in the 21st Century. There is a big slice of society you don't seem to be aware of.


I am, but am talking about the majority. 
I wonder if any of the women here would be attracted to a man who painted his long nails or wore women's clothes? 
The thing is that he has been with her for years but has only just sprung this on her. He should have been open from the start and they wouldn't have wasted all this time. 
He needs to be 100% honest next time.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> He needs to be 100% honest next time.


There won't be a next time. Everybody here has decided he needs to be dumped because he is some kind of weirdo...


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> I am, but am talking about the majority.
> I wonder if any of the women here would be attracted to a man who painted his long nails or wore women's clothes?
> The thing is that he has been with her for years but has only just sprung this on her. He should have been open from the start and they wouldn't have wasted all this time.
> He needs to be 100% honest next time.


I wouldn't. And I know my friends (the ones I am close enough to know very well) wouldn't.


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## Enigmatic (Jul 16, 2021)

bobert said:


> Maybe she should try to shove her long nails up his entry. See how he likes it


To be fair, he probably thinks of it as an exit.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> There won't be a next time. Everybody here has decided he needs to be dumped because he is some kind of weirdo...


Next time as in when he meets another lady.
Do you not think he should have bought this up with her years ago? 
It's important we are physically attracted to our spouse and for many women this would not be sexually attractive. 
The fact that he seems to be willing to end their relationship over this shows where his priorities are and they don't seem to be her.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

There probably are women out there who are okay with that. But she isn’t. Move on.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Openminded said:


> There probably are women out there who are okay with that. But she isn’t. Move on.


Agreed.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

In Absentia said:


> Ok, but Id' like to inform you that we are in the 21st Century. There is a big slice of society you don't seem to be aware of.


It doesn't matter if we are in the 21st century or the 25th. What it matters is that humans just like any other species in this planet have biological (genetics) imperatives. take for example homosexuality, as a whole is not a desirable trait for humans, and as consequence most people in this planet at a basic instinctive level rejects it. Then you have to take into consideration societal mores and its decreeds as varied as there are types of societies. That's a fact not a subject of speculation. Last I check they still kill homosexuals in some parts of the world in case you've been hiding out of reality. This is an undeniable fact. 

So, you think that just because there's a segment of the population let's say western countries where homosexuality can be tolerated means that women in general take nonchalantly a man for a partner that exhibits feminine traits? you are deluding yourself if you think that this is your average response for most females. You seem to have an agenda and that's fine, but please, lets not mix socials agendas with natural responses that are conditioned in humans from a biological and thousand of years of conditioning as to what's acceptable as a trait or not.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

It’s OP’s thread. HIS gf doesn’t like the fact he wants to grown and paint his fingernails. To her it’s a big deal. He’s chosen to make it a deal breaker.
It hurts to say it, but I agree with Diana7.
i don’t think it’s only the nails that she dislikes, it’s the clear mental problem the guy has that bothers her also. OP has chosen to do something that’s far out of the norm for straight men. I don’t even know if it’s normal for gay men. She is right to suspect there may be further problems. It’s a huge red flag, and SHE has taken it as that. It doesn’t matter if she’s right or wrong. It is what it is. OP may have once had the option to go back to normal fingernails. Looks like he’s taking Door number two. That’s his choice.

I think to pretend growing fingernails and painting them is normal for a straight dude is just choosing to be really arguementative. I’ve not seen that in my 48 yrs on the planet. It’s not the norm.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

OP, if you're still around, you should understand that your girlfriend is now just waiting for the other shoe to drop. In the back of her mind, and maybe also in the front of it, she's wondering when she'll come home to find you decked out in her panties and heels or maybe when you'll introduce your desire to go out in drag. Those things may never happen, but you can be sure she's now worrying they will.

Yes, there are some women who will be just fine with your long painted nails. But make no mistake, those women are in the minority. You are severely limiting the pool of compatible women with your choice to wear long pretty nails. As long as you're aware of that and okay with it, _and upfront with everyone you date from day-one about your nail fetish_, then go forth and be happy. 

But please do be aware that it is you who have changed, not your girlfriend. You don't get to paint yourself as the victim, after you pulled something that would be a deal breaker for most heterosexual women out of your hat and sprung it on her years into the relationship. _You_ have made the two of you incompatible by your choices.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

perashlie said:


> In normal, healthy relationships, people respect and accept their partner's choices.


Yes, including the choice not to have sex with a person who is doing something one finds sexually unappealing. He has every right to want long pretty nails. She has every right to stop having sex with a man who she doesn't want to have sex with.



In Absentia said:


> A lot!


Yeah, not really.

Love is an emotional/mental. Sexual attraction is physical. While love and sex are often intertwined the reality is it's not uncommon to love a person one doesn't find sexually attractive and to find a person extremely sexually attractive without possibly loving them. OP's lady may love him, but he's no longer sexually attractive to her due to exposing feminine traits. So, she's stopped having sex with him. She hasn't walked away...yet. Because she loves him and is likely hoping this is a phase that will pass and she will be able to push it to the back of her mind and maybe be able to feel desire for him again.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

MEA said:


> How is it narrow minded to be attracted to certain traits?


I don't think you understood what I meant, if this is your reply. Won't bother repeating myself here. It's like talking to a wall.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

may be the op is like many people and see just the outside image of her husband , 
maybe they have other things lacking in their marriage and this is the little thing that she see as been too much 
I doe't see how something like having a guy with what we all thing are girly finger nails would stop them from having sex , it seems so small to me 

many women now can do what are called manly things , only in the last 5/10 years can a woman ware jeans when they changed a law ,
women can now drive hold a bank account not ware makeup if she likes and even though she had make up on before the marriage
there was a man in India that got a divorce because he said he never know what his wife looked like before they got wed 

I don't think this is that big a thing it is the same as the men on here saying they would divorce their wife if she shaved her head or cut her hair short , 
to me it just seems too controlling , like the people that thing their wife have to use a hijab

if he worked beside me and did as good a job as the next guy I am happy and if he does not smell of sweat or equally as bad the woman that you smell so much old perfume when you just pass her in a supermarket , 
we have a guy in our local town small town so he does stick out 
he is a transvestite but he is normal nice person to meet but we have a few people that would knock you down in the door way of a shop ,


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

“Jerry believes that the apple pie at Monk’s Café is the best apple pie in the city, so he takes one of his girlfriends there, orders a slice, and offers her a bite. She refuses to take a bite, but doesn’t give a reason, which baffles Jerry.

After spending a few days being perplexed by her refusal to try the pie, Jerry has decided that he can’t look past it and wants to break things off. Her father’s lack of hygiene getting his restaurant shut down provides Jerry with a convenient way out of the relationship.”

How petty, right? It’s just a show, right?

How about the one where he breaks up with one because she had “man hands”???

It’s just tv, but the truth is, there can be odd things that turn people off and thereby make them incompatible. This one was hidden, purposefully or not. It may be a dealbreaker for her. Not blaming her. It is what it is.

OP is the one that is narrow minded. He’s choosing f’ing fingernails over someone he claims to love.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> “Jerry believes that the apple pie at Monk’s Café is the best apple pie in the city, so he takes one of his girlfriends there, orders a slice, and offers her a bite. She refuses to take a bite, but doesn’t give a reason, which baffles Jerry.
> 
> After spending a few days being perplexed by her refusal to try the pie, Jerry has decided that he can’t look past it and wants to break things off. Her father’s lack of hygiene getting his restaurant shut down provides Jerry with a convenient way out of the relationship.”
> 
> ...


 got lost in the pies story 
but he asked op and she was ok with it , 
then he started flashing his fingers around like he had got a new toy 
now one could say if they love each other they could turn off the light and make love , 

yes it can be said that he is narrow minded in putting his fingernails before his wife 
one could also ask him to think of it like this 
if his wife started weightlifting some women that are weight lifters still look good but there are some that look like they have gone too far 
if his wife was one of these and got gold at the Olympics it is not going to make her look any better 

so yes we don't know how far he goes with this does his fingernails look like his is just into them or or has his passion for nails gone too far


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

frenchpaddy said:


> got lost in the pies story
> but he asked op and she was ok with it ,
> then he started flashing his fingers around like he had got a new toy
> now one could say if they love each other they could turn off the light and make love ,
> ...


The fact that nails are his passion is what I find off.


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## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

Update:

Since I wrote the first post, my fiancee has gradually started being intimate with me again. I think she is slowly coming to terms with the fact that having long nails makes me happy, and she has been a lot more supportive in the last few days. She even offered to paint my nails for me yesterday, then complimented me on how nice they look.










I jokingly offered her a back scratch, and she actually agreed! She said it felt nice, which is a start. 

Feeling a lot more optimistic today!


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Is that your fingernails?


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> Update:
> 
> Since I wrote the first post, my fiancee has gradually started being intimate with me again. I think she is slowly coming to terms with the fact that having long nails makes me happy, and she has been a lot more supportive in the last few days. She even offered to paint my nails for me yesterday, then complimented me on how nice they look.
> 
> ...


Are these your fingernails or are they a fake? Is this a photo from the internet?


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## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> Are these your fingernails or are they a fake? Is this a photo from the internet?


Yes, these are my real nails. They are not fake.

Here is another picture:


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Can I ask a genuine question that has always baffled me. How on earth do you things like wash the car, cleaning, washing up, garden work, or in fact any sort of work at all with nails like that?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> Can I ask a genuine question that has always baffled me. How on earth do you things like wash the car, cleaning, washing up, garden work, or in fact any sort of work at all with nails like that?


Gloves? Surely, there are ladies with nails like that that do all sorts of manual jobs?


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> About two months ago I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore, and I told her. She was doing her nailcare routine and I just told her outright that I’m incredibly jealous of her nails. She was very confused by this of course, so I told her some of the backstory. I told her that I really wanted to grow my nails out, and it’s something I’ve dreamed of since I was 12 years old.


I'm not an expert in fingernails, but can you explain how someone can grow fingernails like those in two months, or are you simply playing a joke on us? It appears to me that you're not telling the truth here.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

frenchpaddy said:


> I'm not an expert in fingernails, but can you explain how someone can grow fingernails like those in two months, or are you simply playing a joke on us? It appears to me that you're not telling the truth here.


Apparently, the average monthly rate is 3,5mm... don't ask me what that is in inches!


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I never even imagined nails that long. I find them gross on a woman or a man. They look more like claws or weapons.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

In Absentia said:


> Gloves? Surely, there are ladies with nails like that that do all sorts of manual jobs?


The ladies I know with nails like that don't do much of anything.




In Absentia said:


> Apparently, the average monthly rate is 3,5mm... don't ask me what that is in inches!


It is approximately 1/8th of an inch.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> The ladies I know with nails like that don't do much of anything.


I don't know any ladies with nails like that...


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## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

frenchpaddy said:


> I'm not an expert in fingernails, but can you explain how someone can grow fingernails like those in two months, or are you simply playing a joke on us? It appears to me that you're not telling the truth here.


Now that I think about it, it's closer to three months that I've been growing them, and they were never completely short to begin with. Plus, my nails grow very fast. I take lots of vitamins and eat a very healthy diet, which probably helps.


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## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Can I ask a genuine question that has always baffled me. How on earth do you things like wash the car, cleaning, washing up, garden work, or in fact any sort of work at all with nails like that?


I work from a computer (as a graphic designer) so I don't do much in the way of manual labour. It's really not that hard to clean with nails, I just have to be careful not to break any. Also, I have a dishwasher.


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## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> I never even imagined nails that long. I find them gross on a woman or a man. They look more like claws or weapons.


To each their own. Personally, I love them. In fact, it feels great to finally have long nails like my mother's. I find long, well manicured nails beautiful, whether they are on a man or a woman, as long as they're on reasonably feminine looking hands/fingers, which I think mine are.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> To each their own. Personally, I love them. In fact, it feels great to finally have long nails like my mother's. I find long, well manicured nails beautiful, whether they are on a man or a woman.


What does your mother think of them? Your father?


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## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> What does your mother think of them? Your father?


My parents tolerate them but don't really approve, but I'm an adult now so I don't have to follow their rules. If she hadn't made me cut them whenever I tried to grow them in my early teens, maybe it would have been a phase that I'd have grown out of. But since I wasn't allowed to grow them, it made my desire to have long nails even stronger.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> I work from a computer (as a graphic designer) so I don't do much in the way of manual labour. It's really not that hard to clean with nails, I just have to be careful not to break any. Also, I have a dishwasher.


Can you type ok with those nails?


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## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> Can you type ok with those nails?


Not as fast as I used to be able to, but I'm getting used to it.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> Yes, these are my real nails. They are not fake.
> 
> Here is another picture:
> 
> View attachment 77206


I’m curious how other people react to you and your nails?


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## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> I’m curious how other people react to you and your nails?


I get mixed reactions. A lot of people are taken aback when they notice them (I'm not exactly shy about flaunting them, and I often wear bright fushcia or baby pink polish), some people stare at me in a confused manner (I look fairly masculine in everything but my nails), a lot of people assume I'm gay (I'm not), but I actually get a surprising amount of compliments, almost always from women, who are usually shocked when I tell them they're real.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> Gloves? Surely, there are ladies with nails like that that do all sorts of manual jobs?


Not thinking about chipping the varnish but breaking the nails. 
I doubt any women who do manual jobs have nails that long and if they do they are probably false ones.


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## Kaliber (Apr 10, 2020)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> I get mixed reactions. A lot of people are taken aback when they notice them (I'm not exactly shy about flaunting them, and I often wear bright fushcia or baby pink polish), some people stare at me in a confused manner (I look fairly masculine in everything but my nails), a lot of people assume I'm gay (I'm not), but I actually get a surprising amount of compliments, almost always from women, who are usually shocked when I tell them they're real.


Hi @JohnDoe1980, are you worried or thought about the possibility your GF might lose attraction slowly and might step out on you later on?
I ask because if you studied human nature (from books or Uni) and read about male/female nature and behaviours you will understand that there is a big possibility that she might lose attraction and start having wondering eyes, not to mention that she might tolerate it for some time until she can't anymore because of the way people look at you in public and her friends gossiping about it or comparing their partners in front of her.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> I never even imagined nails that long. I find them gross on a woman or a man. They look more like claws or weapons.


Same here, don't mind normal average length nails(on women), but they are like talons, very unattractive on both sexes.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> I get mixed reactions. A lot of people are taken aback when they notice them (I'm not exactly shy about flaunting them, and I often wear bright fushcia or baby pink polish), some people stare at me in a confused manner (I look fairly masculine in everything but my nails), a lot of people assume I'm gay (I'm not), but I actually get a surprising amount of compliments, almost always from women, who are usually shocked when I tell them they're real.


So it seems you are wanting/needing attention as well as you liking them.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> Yes, these are my real nails. They are not fake.
> 
> Here is another picture:
> 
> View attachment 77206


You must have been growing them for ages.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> I work from a computer (as a graphic designer) so I don't do much in the way of manual labour. It's really not that hard to clean with nails, I just have to be careful not to break any. Also, I have a dishwasher.


I have tough nails yet they do break when I do normal every day work around the house or garden. 
Hence I keep mine a reasonable length. 
Having bought up children you need to know that nails like that will be a danger to small children if you have them. I had to cut mine a while back after I accidently scratched a little family member and mine were about 1/4 the length of yours.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> Not thinking about chipping the varnish but breaking the nails.
> I doubt any women who do manual jobs have nails that long and if they do they are probably false ones.


There are nurses and CNA's with nails like that (my wife used to mention it to me). For some tasks they wear gloves and put cotton balls in the finger tips...


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> I get mixed reactions. A lot of people are taken aback when they notice them (I'm not exactly shy about flaunting them, and I often wear bright fushcia or baby pink polish), some people stare at me in a confused manner (I look fairly masculine in everything but my nails), a lot of people assume I'm gay (I'm not), but I actually get a surprising amount of compliments, almost always from women, who are usually shocked when I tell them they're real.


I’m going to be honest…I as a woman would be sexually turned off by them. I’m sure I am not alone in this.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

GD 


bobert said:


> There are nurses and CNA's with nails like that (my wife used to mention it to me). For some tasks they wear gloves and put cotton balls in the finger tips...


Good grief. I am surprised they are allowed to.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Torninhalf said:


> I’m going to be honest…I as a woman would be sexually turned off by them. I’m sure I am not alone in this.


Me too.Totally. Especially if the guy otherwise looked manly.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I have always found long fingernails repulsive, even on women. 
So as an extremely biased against long fingernails person I say kerplooey on it all.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I wouldn’t even like nails that long on a woman. 

I have seen a lot of non-traditional things in San Francisco and Berkeley and if I saw a man with nails like this in the wild I would definitely notice. So if that’s what you’re going for then I’m sure people are noticing!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> I wouldn’t even like nails that long on a woman.
> 
> I have seen a lot of non-traditional things in San Francisco and Berkeley and if I saw a man with nails like this in the wild I would definitely notice. So if that’s what you’re going for then I’m sure people are noticing!


They notice, but not for the right reasons. Bit like a woman with a beard would be noticed.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> You must have been growing them for ages.


 i think he is winding us up making up a story to show off his nailes which I would not like on a woman never mind a man ,


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> They notice, but not for the right reasons. Bit like a woman with a beard would be noticed.


I have seen a few women with a beard or more mustache and I think it is better than a woman with nails too long because a woman with a beard or mustache has it because of her hormones long fingernails are from a lack of taste and style 

good link Guides, Tips & Know-How for Men's Grooming


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your nails, they are your nails and make you happy. Who says only women should have nice long painted nails? Back in the 80's I knew lots of men with painted black varnish on their nails. They were goths. If you go on Google you will probably find lots of men who have long nails also. I think they look fab and would give a good head scratch. Don't be ashamed of your nails. SOME people will just be jealous they have short horrible nails haha. 

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark


YNWA


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your nails, they are your nails and make you happy. Who says only women should have nice long painted nails? Back in the 80's I knew lots of men with painted black varnish on their nails. They were goths. If you go on Google you will probably find lots of men who have long nails also. I think they look fab and would give a good head scratch. Don't be ashamed of your nails. SOME people will just be jealous they have short horrible nails haha.
> 
> When you walk through a storm
> Hold your head up high
> ...


Hmmm, nope it's not jealousy 🥺


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your nails, they are your nails and make you happy. Who says only women should have nice long painted nails? Back in the 80's I knew lots of men with painted black varnish on their nails. They were goths. If you go on Google you will probably find lots of men who have long nails also. I think they look fab and would give a good head scratch. Don't be ashamed of your nails. SOME people will just be jealous they have short horrible nails haha.
> 
> When you walk through a storm
> Hold your head up high
> ...


Jealous? Nope.


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## JohnDoe1980 (Jul 28, 2021)

CrAzYdOgLaDy said:


> It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your nails, they are your nails and make you happy. Who says only women should have nice long painted nails? Back in the 80's I knew lots of men with painted black varnish on their nails. They were goths. If you go on Google you will probably find lots of men who have long nails also. I think they look fab and would give a good head scratch. Don't be ashamed of your nails. SOME people will just be jealous they have short horrible nails haha.
> 
> When you walk through a storm
> Hold your head up high
> ...


Thank you for the kind words!

Don't worry, I'm not ashamed of my nails. I absolutely LOVE them. and don't really care if other people disapprove or not. It took me over twenty years to finally pluck up the courage to grow them nice and long, like I've dreamed of since I was about 12 years old, without giving in to the inevitable social shaming or peer pressure, and it feels great to have finally done it. I just wish I'd done it sooner. I can't see myself ever going back to having horrible short, stubby, boring nails, and actually I plan on growing them even longer.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> Thank you for the kind words!
> 
> Don't worry, I'm not ashamed of my nails. I absolutely LOVE them. and don't really care if other people disapprove or not. It took me over twenty years to finally pluck up the courage to grow them nice and long, like I've dreamed of since I was about 12 years old, without giving in to the inevitable social shaming or peer pressure, and it feels great to have finally done it. I just wish I'd done it sooner. I can't see myself ever going back to having horrible short, stubby, boring nails, and actually I plan on growing them even longer.


So you have chosen your long nails over your girl friend. 😁


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Torninhalf said:


> So you have chosen your long nails over your girl friend. 😁


 looks like his first love is going to have long fingernails lol


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

frenchpaddy said:


> looks like his first love is going to have long fingernails lol


All I know is if any man I was sexual with grew nails like that I’d be out of that relationship in a flash.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> *I plan on growing them even longer.*


I suspected that was the case.
Probably need to plan on never having a relationship again. I hope those nails are truly fulfilling for you.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> Thank you for the kind words!
> 
> Don't worry, I'm not ashamed of my nails. I absolutely LOVE them. and don't really care if other people disapprove or not. It took me over twenty years to finally pluck up the courage to grow them nice and long, like I've dreamed of since I was about 12 years old, without giving in to the inevitable social shaming or peer pressure, and it feels great to have finally done it. I just wish I'd done it sooner. I can't see myself ever going back to having horrible short, stubby, boring nails, and actually I plan on growing them even longer.


Ahhh so you say that men's short nails are 'boring' and 'stubby'. Nope, they are masculine and manly.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> Thank you for the kind words!
> 
> Don't worry, I'm not ashamed of my nails. I absolutely LOVE them. and don't really care if other people disapprove or not. It took me over twenty years to finally pluck up the courage to grow them nice and long, like I've dreamed of since I was about 12 years old, without giving in to the inevitable social shaming or peer pressure, and it feels great to have finally done it. I just wish I'd done it sooner. I can't see myself ever going back to having horrible short, stubby, boring nails, and actually I plan on growing them even longer.


Why do you have the need to get attention from others? Do you lack self esteem?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Evinrude58 said:


> JohnDoe1980 said:
> 
> 
> > *I plan on growing them even longer.*
> ...


Rather sad when something like this is more important that a good relationship/marriage.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

It’s especially troubling when a man that from his own perspective had a good relationship and boogers it up by nurturing an illogical fetish. I personally think that you are feeding a dysfunction within your mind and It’s going to grow to the point you have more serious problems.
Happiness that is dependent on longer fingernails isn’t sustainable.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Evinrude58 said:


> Happiness that is dependent on longer fingernails isn’t sustainable.


And what about his unhappiness? Is that sustainable? It's a shame his girlfriend doesn't want to accept him the way he is, but that's life. If he prefers his long nails to his girlfriend, then it's his choice and he has to accept that his choices have consequences. Maybe he needs to find a girlfriend more open to his life choices.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

In Absentia said:


> And what about his unhappiness? Is that sustainable? It's a shame his girlfriend doesn't want to accept him the way he is, but that's life. If he prefers his long nails to his girlfriend, then it's his choice and he has to accept that his choices have consequences. Maybe he needs to find a girlfriend more open to his life choices.


I am curious in your estimation how many women would be accepting of a man who has fingernails such as his?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> And what about his unhappiness? Is that sustainable? It's a shame his girlfriend doesn't want to accept him the way he is, but that's life. If he prefers his long nails to his girlfriend, then it's his choice and he has to accept that his choices have consequences. Maybe he needs to find a girlfriend more open to his life choices.


We can't have everything we want in life. If he puts that one need above all else he may well end up alone and miserable with just his long painted nails to keep him company. 
I would advise therapy, there is something not really right about the way he 'worshipped' his mum's nails when he was a child. It shows how we as parents must be so careful of how we act and what we value in front of our children.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> We can't have everything we want in life. If he puts that one need above all else he may well end up alone and miserable with just his long painted nails to keep him company.
> I would advise therapy, there is something not really right about the way he 'worshipped' his mum's nails when he was a child. It shows how we as parents must be so careful of how we act and what we value in front of our children.


Maybe therapy for liking his nails long is a tad excessive? Where do we stop? What about girls who like wearing men's clothes? Or a tie? Do they need therapy too? Or men who wear necklaces and bracelets? Ladies who don't shave their legs or armpits? Or ladies who shave their heads... where do we draw the line? If we don't conform, we are weirdos...


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

In Absentia said:


> If we don't conform, we are weirdos...


Possibly. At least highly unusual.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The thrill of long nails may not last when one breaks and the others have to be cut so your hands don't look ridiculous.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> Possibly. At least highly unusual.


What's wrong with being unusual?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

In Absentia said:


> What's wrong with being unusual?


Well for one thing it can limit your opportunities. I could dress up in a clown suit everyday because I like it, but it might make it difficult to get some jobs.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> Well for one thing it can limit your opportunities. I could dress up in a clown suit everyday because I like it, but it might make it difficult to get some jobs.


You can definitely work in a circus. Jokes apart, I'm not sure that unusual people want to conform much. So I would be surprised if they went for a corporate job. Discrimination by perception is illegal in the UK under the Equality Act.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> Maybe therapy for liking his nails long is a tad excessive? Where do we stop? What about girls who like wearing men's clothes? Or a tie? Do they need therapy too? Or men who wear necklaces and bracelets? Ladies who don't shave their legs or armpits? Or ladies who shave their heads... where do we draw the line? If we don't conform, we are weirdos...


I said therapy for worshipping his mother's nails and that leading to his obsession with his own nails. That's not emotionally healthy behaviour. Most obsessions are very unhealthy and due to some sort of emotional damage.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

In Absentia said:


> You can definitely work in a circus. Jokes apart, I'm not sure that unusual people want to conform much. So I would be surprised if they went for a corporate job. Discrimination by perception is illegal in the UK under the Equality Act.


It may be illegal but you’d have to prove it in court. Even where I live (one of, if not THE most socially liberal places in the country) I think it would be difficult.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> It may be illegal but you’d have to prove it in court. Even where I live (one of, if not THE most socially liberal places in the country) I think it would be difficult.


I think we might be stricter here in the UK.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

In Absentia said:


> I think we might be stricter here in the UK.


So you could apply to a sales job with “I hate the customer” tattoo’d on your forehead and they’d have to give you a sales job and it would be legally enforced?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> I said therapy for worshipping his mother's nails and that leading to his obsession with his own nails. That's not emotionally healthy behaviour. Most obsessions are very unhealthy and due to some sort of emotional damage.


Again, "worshipping"? Why do you have to exaggerate everything? It seems a trend here on TAM these days. A poor woman goes shopping with a female friend and she is a lesbian or cheating...


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I'm still eating my popcorn and not saying a word. LOL.

Somewhere out there on some other message board, there's likely a bunch of goons having a good laugh...


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> So you could apply to a sales job with “I hate the customer” tattoo’d on your forehead and they’d have to give you a sales job and it would be legally enforced?


Of course they don't have "to give" the job to you. It's a selection process. I guess if they ended up in court, I doubt the person with the tattoo would win the case. Anyway, I don't think anybody with a tattoo like that would apply to work in retail...


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm still eating my popcorn and not saying a word. LOL.
> 
> Somewhere out there on some other message board, there's likely a bunch of goons having a good laugh...


I have to admit that I do like the feminine colors of polish. They remind me of kunzite and aquamarine. Make the hands look very feminine.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

In Absentia said:


> Of course they don't have "to give" the job to you. It's a selection process. I guess if they ended up in court, I doubt the person with the tattoo would win the case. Anyway, I don't think anybody with a tattoo like that would apply to work in retail...


Agreed 100%. I mean some shops would probably like it, ex. A coffee shop in Berkeley that isn’t a Starbucks or something would probably be eager to hire that individual but for most positions it would be limiting.

The nails on this thread would be in a similar category and as such I think they’re options limiting.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> The nails on this thread would be in a similar category and as such I think they’re options limiting.


Of course, but that's because of how society works...


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

In Absentia said:


> Of course, but that's because of how society works...


Is that wrong?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Torninhalf said:


> Is that wrong?


I don't know. You tell me...


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

In Absentia said:


> I don't know. You tell me...


Honestly I am view in it the context of a sexual relationship. To me the nails are a huge sexual turn off. Just like men using dildos or getting pegged. Im sure there are those who enjoy these things I’m just not one of them. 🤷🏼‍♀️


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> Maybe therapy for liking his nails long is a tad excessive? Where do we stop? What about girls who like wearing men's clothes? Or a tie? Do they need therapy too? Or men who wear necklaces and bracelets? Ladies who don't shave their legs or armpits? Or ladies who shave their heads... where do we draw the line? If we don't conform, we are weirdos...


I do understand your argument here, I've been part of a large arts community in my past, seen my share of oddities and learned a lot about tolerance.

But this is more akin to a man wearing a dress than the examples you listed.

The OP s wife will need to deal with this in social situations; it will be called out and he will gladly flaunt it.

Maybe she could learn to accept him in the privacy of their home, but socially? It's asking a lot of her. She risks all of her relationships getting awkward, herself getting self conscious in public, all conversations focusing on the nails etc. 

I would not want to put my wife through this, I find it very selfish from the perspective caring for her.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Quad73 said:


> I do understand your argument here, I've been part of a large arts community in my past, seen my share of oddities and learned a lot about tolerance.
> 
> But this is more akin to a man wearing a dress than the examples you listed.
> 
> ...


 for some reason I think there is no wife , 
to me the op just made up the story to get people to talk about his very long nails , 
i think if he could do a days work , and mind his own affairs provide for himself and a family , 
i am happy for him , 
but I don't need him sticking them under my nose begging for attention

but I do not like long nails on anyone ,


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## staceymj86 (Apr 14, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I am, but am talking about the majority.
> I wonder if any of the women here would be attracted to a man who painted his long nails or wore women's clothes?
> The thing is that he has been with her for years but has only just sprung this on her. He should have been open from the start and they wouldn't have wasted all this time.
> He needs to be 100% honest next time.


I for one am not attracted to any man, that grow their nails, paint them or have any feminine traits. If I wanted a man with feminine traits, I would’ve dated a woman.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

In Absentia said:


> And what about his unhappiness? Is that sustainable? It's a shame his girlfriend doesn't want to accept him the way he is, but that's life. If he prefers his long nails to his girlfriend, then it's his choice and he has to accept that his choices have consequences. *Maybe he needs to find a girlfriend more open to his life choices*.


He can try, and maybe he should if girlie nails are that important to him. But it’s going to be extremely difficult because the vast majority of women will not be open to that and not attracted to him.
That’s the point that many have been making repeatedly, that you are choosing not to comprehend.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> Again, "worshipping"? Why do you have to exaggerate everything? It seems a trend here on TAM these days. A poor woman goes shopping with a female friend and she is a lesbian or cheating...


He clearly has an obsession.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

In Absentia said:


> And what about his unhappiness? Is that sustainable? It's a shame his girlfriend doesn't want to accept him the way he is, but that's life. If he prefers his long nails to his girlfriend, then it's his choice and he has to accept that his choices have consequences. Maybe he needs to find a girlfriend more open to his life choices.


Let's look at this from another angle. If a woman loves to dress like a hard core male biker, cuts her hair very short or shaves it as some men do.... how many men do you think would be attracted to her?

His girlfriend is not responsible for his happiness, he is. If he wants long, beautiful nails then he needs to find a woman who loves them on him too.

And that woman who dresses like a hard core make biker... she needs to find a dude who loves that in a woman.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

perashlie said:


> Disagree with you. Imagine the situation that you are married. You look great, you are slim. But suddenly your husband wants you to be much thinner. Painfully thin. Just his whim. So what? Will you follow his wishes, despite the fact that it will harm your health?


You bring up a different type of situation. His girlfriend is not asking him to make changes to his body.

When she started to date him he did not have long, painted finger nails. After they are well into a relationship HE is the one who made the changes to himself. Basically he misrepresented himself in the beginning of their relationship and only brought out this fingernail thing after he felt that she was more likely to accept his fetish. Basically he misrepresented himself to her from the start.

If he wants his finger nails long & painted, he should have them that way. And then date a woman who knows up front that this is who he is. 

When a person is married, it definitely is their spouses business. If a person puts on a lot of weight it very often hurts the marriages and is often a contributor to divorce. If a woman becomes disabled, it's a very high probability that her husband will divorce her. If a person's spouse decides to quit their job and play video games 24/7 their spouse will most likely divorce them. This is the real world.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*I just deleted a long threadjack ... an ongoing piss fight between two members. If you continue the threadjack/fight you will enjoy a few days ban so you can contemplate how to better communicate on TAM.*


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> *I just deleted a long threadjack ... an ongoing piss fight between two members. If you continue the threadjack/fight you will enjoy a few days ban so you can contemplate how to better communicate on TAM.*


Welcome back Ele…thank you!! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Welcome back Ele…thank you!!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


That last emoji was me grabbing your boobies. Sorry…please don’t ban me 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Elizabeth001 said:


> That last emoji was me grabbing your boobies. Sorry…please don’t ban me


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

JohnDoe1980 said:


> Update:
> 
> Since I wrote the first post, my fiancee has gradually started being intimate with me again. I think she is slowly coming to terms with the fact that having long nails makes me happy, and she has been a lot more supportive in the last few days. She even offered to paint my nails for me yesterday, then complimented me on how nice they look.
> 
> ...


This is a good update. She did a good job painting your nails. I'm into tattoos, piercings and some body modification looks cool. If we were all into the same thing life would be more boring. Hope all is going well with you both.

Here's a good site for male nail art which is becoming more popular.

Some photos of part of the article.









Male Nail Art Is Going To Be Next Biggest Trend ! #MALEART


Male Nail Art is the newest nail trend to take Instagram by storm: #MALEART Is It amazing? nail art for men. male nail art design pictuures




www.fancynailart.com




















When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark


YNWA


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