# Have You Ever Fantasize About Being with Another Partner...



## AlmostYoung (May 24, 2012)

While having sex with your spouse? 

Would it bother you much if your faithful spouse did occasionally? 

Be honest, this is the internet where you can't possibly get away with lying!


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

AlmostYoung said:


> While having sex with your spouse?
> 
> Would it bother you much if your faithful spouse did occasionally?
> 
> Be honest, this is the internet where you can't possibly get away with lying!


Yes, my wife has fantasized about about another man while having sex with me...the other man being the third part of a three-way. Truth be told, I've also fantasized about it. But we also know that it will only stay a fantasy. But what she also is dying for is for me to have two penises so that she could make her fantasy come to life. Come to think of it, I, too, wish I had two penises. That would be pretty cool.

It doesn't bother me. When we're in the heat of passion, we both say a lot of dirty, dirty stuff...


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Not sure if she has or not but it would not bother me at all. In fact I would encourage it if it increases the excitement for her.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

While I have fantasized about being with another woman (my wife is my first and only), I have never done it while making love to my wife. While I don't know if she has, I'd rather not know because it would hurt my feelings if I was to find our that she had if it was a normal thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I've heard people talk about this , but maybe I'm peculiar in this aspect.
If I try to fantasize about anything whilst having sex, I get distracted very easily , and everything flops.

Funny thing is I can multitask pretty well in real life. But with sex I must be into what i'm doing , in order to enjoy what i'm doing. Can't enjoy it thinking about another person or even another place!

I know it sounds weird.

So fantasies for us are usually for before sex. We talk about fantasies.
During sex fulfill those fantasies.


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## Shazz1991 (Jul 31, 2011)

Yes. And I tell him I'm doing it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Stonewall said:


> *Not sure if she has or not but it would not bother me at all. In fact I would encourage it if it increases the excitement for her.*


Now THIS is a secure man... and not much of a surprise but my husband feels the same, I have jumped that fence.. I feel it's normal.. however he swears he never has.. he has no reason what so ever to lie to me, as it only makes ME look bad. We are very open about our fantasies...His are pretty tame...

Mine however...

The vast majority are me & him slipping back in time...we're young again...I've even fantasized about him being my affair partner.. while we're at it... I have a vivid imagination.. often times when it's over...I tell him where we was.. and the whole scenario spelled out...he likes that !


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

It happened a few times but it killed the moment for me and I had to focus on something else. According to my husband,thinking and fantasizing are major erection killers for him.
I think whatever gets you excited for sex with your partner is good provided no one gets hurt or emotionally damaged.


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

john1068 said:


> Yes, my wife has fantasized about about another man while having sex with me...the other man being the third part of a three-way. Truth be told, I've also fantasized about it. But we also know that it will only stay a fantasy. But what she also is dying for is for me to have two penises so that she could make her fantasy come to life. Come to think of it, I, too, wish I had two penises. That would be pretty cool.
> 
> It doesn't bother me. When we're in the heat of passion, we both say a lot of dirty, dirty stuff...


Same here :smthumbup: :iagree: 

I definitely think I do it more than my spouse but I kind of make him think about it also because I actually fantasize about this stuff 24/7! My favorite is threesomes with my husband and another women but I also fantasize about my husband cheating or his past sexual experiences. We act it out and everything, I think it is FUN! As long as you communicate with your spouse its a great time!


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

I don't need to fantasize. 

Depending on what mood/mindset my wife is in (I think she has a bus load of other people in her head some days) so it's like having different partners just depending on who's driving that day. 

(Or if anyone is driving at all?) :scratchhead:


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*No real need to fantasize in sex here! The way that I look at it, if I'm truly in love with her and she with me, then she is my fantasy!

And that's the best sex ever!*


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Sometimes.
No.

Mostly, just being in the moment is plenty. Occasionally, if I'm very tired or it's round 3, a little fantasy is needed for that extra needed mental stimulus. The same is true for her, and it's not an issue (it might become a problem if it is needed _most_ of the time).


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

I'm with arbitrator on this one.

I have never fantasized about anyone else. I've told my wife that it's all about her when it comes to sex. I'm focused on her eyes, her mouth, her face, various parts of the rest of her (some less obvious, like her shoulders, the small of her back, the back of her knee), her pleasure, her reactions. The rest of the world ceases to exist, there is no past and no future. It's the only time that I'm totally in the now, which is a wonderful place to be. I wish I could reach that state more often. No fantasy would come close.


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

My wife is my fantasy. That is my focus during sex.

When I see a stunningly beautiful woman, which then occupies my thoughts for more than 24 hours, I think of her pregnant, angry and threatening to tell my wife and suddenly the fantasy and attraction dies out and I go back to playing movies in my head starring my wife.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Not much of a fantasizer during the moment myself. Any BetaMax worn out old fantasy is for me a pale comparison to the real thing, even when the real thing is tame and vanilla. 

As for the spouse, whatever works. As long as I'm the recipient of the effect, she can fantasize about what color to paint the ceiling.


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

When I am with my boyfriend I only consentrate on him but when I have my "alone moments", I think of everyone else but. Typically celeb's -- actors, singers, football players. Most of the time there is more than one in the bed with me. 

I'm not really sure how I'd feel if he told me he did it. So far he hasn't told me so and ignorance has been bliss.


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

Never did until my wife cheated on me. Now, sometimes, it takes me longer to cum when we have sex. Maybe its the psychological part her affair has had on me....but anyways, I have been fantasizing that she is the OMs wife and it turns me on.

Funny too because you can tell the OMs taste in women. My wife and his are the same height, same hair color, same body, with the only difference being my wife is a bit prettier.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

YupItsMe said:


> My wife is my fantasy. That is my focus during sex.
> 
> *When I see a stunningly beautiful woman, which then occupies my thoughts for more than 24 hours, I think of her pregnant, angry and threatening to tell my wife and suddenly the fantasy and attraction dies out and I go back to playing movies in my head starring my wife*.


Oh this was good...this is how my husband described it to me...one day during one of these discussions...though much more fleeting... let's say he sees a beauty on the beach.....oh he enjoys the looking, has no desire to look away... then his mind immediately does this..."STD's, I love my wife... STD's, I love my kids"... and the fantasy passes.... 

I'm similar to be perfectly honest.. Hot guy.. all I end up thinking is.. he's a player.. Scratch!


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

I get the most enjoyment out of 'being there', both mentally and physically. I guess I consider myself lucky in that respect - that I dont find much need to go elsewhere in my head or fantisize about something else.

To be honest - and I hope this doesnt sound smug - I find the reality of all that skin and the scents and the sounds and tastes & sensations of everything going on pretty engrossing and intoxicating so it would seem a bit of a step-down or a distraction to me to have to provide mental alternatives - of any kind - to what is going on. The real thing is totally awesome if you just let it be.

I save fantasy for when that is the only alternative.. like if I am traveling and alone in a hotel room.

I cant be in the minority here, right?


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> "STD's, I love my wife... STD's, I love my kids"... and the fantasy passes....
> 
> I'm similar to be perfectly honest.. Hot guy.. all I end up thinking is.. he's a player.. Scratch!


Love this. Gonna use it. It works and has worked for me for all of my courting life. There are always attractive people around.

I think sobering up my thoughts by considering the worst of consequences is a responsible approach to control the temporary pure animal instincts that make life fun and worth living when we see a hottie, a delicious meal (sometimes one in the same) a frivolous item we think of purchasing, etc. 

Bottom line it's a mechanism to control the "Grass in greener" thoughts we initially have that is rarely accurate.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

YupItsMe said:


> Love this. Gonna use it. It works ad has worked for me for all of my courting life. There are always attractive people around.
> 
> I think sobering up my thoughts by considering the worst of consequences is a responsible approach to control the temporary pure animal instincts that make life fun and worth living when we see a hottie, a delicious meal (sometimes one in the same) a frivolous item we think of purchasing, etc.
> 
> Bottom line it's a mechanism to control the "Grass in greener" thoughts we initially have that is rarely accurate.


It may work very well, but why bother? Killing off _harmless _fantasies just seems to be a way to suck much of the pleasure out of life. You can be sober without being a teetotaler.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

YupItsMe said:


> ......is a responsible approach to control the temporary pure animal instincts that make life fun and worth living....


wait... what?

I'm missing something. Im confused.

Im all for leading yourself into a higher level of awareness and thought - but lets not too quickly cut out that which makes us human and 'makes like fun and worth living'...


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

"STD's, I love my wife... STD's, I love my kids"... 

Good gravy. Thats some serious mental self flaggelation right there.


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

It depends on your perspective and wiring. It seems ours is different. I don't want to have thoughts that my wife would find hurtful for any length of time. She gets it. We discuss the undeniable fact there are others that will excite us. 

I prefer to remove the distraction from focusing on my wife, marriage, family and chosen pursuits rather quickly as opposed to burning energy on distractions. 

Some above call fantasies during sex harmless. I don't agree with that. Energy is invested in that which I have decided has no place in my choices and priorities. 

Do as you wish. You won't get any argument from me on the matter of attraction to others.

No need to be disrespectful just because it's not for you. As you were.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> I've heard people talk about this , but maybe I'm peculiar in this aspect.
> If I try to fantasize about anything whilst having sex, I get distracted very easily , and everything flops.
> 
> Funny thing is I can multitask pretty well in real life. But with sex I must be into what i'm doing , in order to enjoy what i'm doing. Can't enjoy it thinking about another person or even another place!
> ...


I do not think your weird at all. Its exactly the same for me..... (Not the flop part )


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *No real need to fantasize in sex here! The way that I look at it, if I'm truly in love with her and she with me, then she is my fantasy!
> 
> And that's the best sex ever!*


This. Since my wife is the one I actually want to be having sex with, there's absolutely no need for me to fantasize.


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> I've heard people talk about this , but maybe I'm peculiar in this aspect.
> If I try to fantasize about anything whilst having sex, I get distracted very easily , and everything flops.


I agree with CM. It would be very distracting. I want to focus on her pleasure, not pretend she's someone else, for mine.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

anotherguy said:


> *"STD's, I love my wife... STD's, I love my kids"...
> 
> Good gravy. Thats some serious mental self flaggelation right there*.


I am not really sure what you mean....*how do you deal ?? what is your mental processes ?? *

He enjoys looking at shapely beautiful woman just as well as any other hot blooded male does... . It's normal behavior, isn't it.. if he didn't have this desire, I'd think he'd need his Testosterone tested again. 

Though I am going to speak from him here and say, he's not the type that can separate Love & sex... they go hand in hand- he's always felt this way from his teens (not sure many guys can say this)......he's told me he seen enough articles on STD's in Hustler growing up to disgust him... no risk of sleeping around was worth that.... so yeah... I've never been worried about him going over any fences. 

We've talked very openly about these things... Neither of us see this as a blight on our character or love for each other. (all of this is talking about outside of the bedroom though, off topic here)...


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## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

I've never fantasized about having sex with any man other than my H.
In fact, the thought of having sex with anyone other than him makes me nauseous.
He told me that he also couldn't imagine having sex with anyone else, that his mind movies all star me.
I like to think he was telling me the truth since mine only star him.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Now ever since that September morning just a few weeks ago when that gavel finally fell in that li'l ol' country court room declaring me single yet again, my fantasy machine started working double time.

Now let's get ol' Arb prepped to start dating once again, and maybe we can learn to turn that fantasy into stark reality!*


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## AlmostYoung (May 24, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> He enjoys looking at shapely beautiful woman just as well as any other hot blooded male does... . It's normal behavior, isn't it.. if he didn't have this desire, I'd think he'd need his Testosterone tested again.


^^^Right. I admit I've thought of other women for a few moments while with my wife. But then, I've thought about her a few times when I was with my GF. It all works out.


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