# Just need some advice.



## Zolt (Jul 10, 2015)

My wife and I have been married for 7 years and have 3 children, twin 2 year olds and a 6 year old. To make a long story short I went into a severe state of depression when three years ago I discovered that I could not have any more children of my own. The twins that we have are adopted embryos. There was problems with the pregnancy and it added more stress and depression on. They were born at 30 weeks and had to stay in NICU for almost 3 months. All of this also put my wife into a depression. Trying to be there for her and not let her see how bad I truly was made it worse on me and I went basically into a shell. I did not realize what I was doing to her. I had started ignoring her and she was not giving her the attention she needed. This went on for almost two years. Three months ago she came to me and told me that she was talking to her ex and that she was confused. The only other relationship that my wife has ever had was with this guy and she has only been with him and myself. She has decided that she wants to meet him in person and have lunch with him. When they were dating she left him four times because of the way he treated her (controlling, demeaning, emotional) but he is now again promising her that he has changed. She is willing to take our oldest daughter with her to ensure me that she is not going to do anything inappropriate. I have tried my hardest to talk to her and show her how much she means to me. She tells me she is not going to do anything to hurt our children. He lives one state over and is about 6 hours away. She has now told me that I need to back off and let her think before it screws both of us up even further and the kids. How are I supposed to back off when I want this to work more than anything in the world, she is my world and I love her with wholeheartedly.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

You two both need counseling. Both of my children were at death's door in the NICU for months and it is a traumatizing experience. Parents in situations like this rarely get the help they need because they are busy taking care of at-risk babies.

She should agree to IC before she makes her trip. She should postpone her plans indefinitely until she has had some therapy re the last few years. (Not that I think you should enable her at all by signing off on her plan.)

I would tell her that she owes you, your family, and your marriage at least this much.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Zolt said:


> My wife and I have been married for 7 years and have 3 children, twin 2 year olds and a 6 year old. To make a long story short I went into a severe state of depression when three years ago I discovered that I could not have any more children of my own. The twins that we have are adopted embryos. There was problems with the pregnancy and it added more stress and depression on. They were born at 30 weeks and had to stay in NICU for almost 3 months. All of this also put my wife into a depression. Trying to be there for her and not let her see how bad I truly was made it worse on me and I went basically into a shell. I did not realize what I was doing to her. I had started ignoring her and she was not giving her the attention she needed. This went on for almost two years. Three months ago she came to me and told me that she was talking to her ex and that she was confused. The only other relationship that my wife has ever had was with this guy and she has only been with him and myself. She has decided that she wants to meet him in person and have lunch with him. When they were dating she left him four times because of the way he treated her (controlling, demeaning, emotional) but he is now again promising her that he has changed. She is willing to take our oldest daughter with her to ensure me that she is not going to do anything inappropriate. I have tried my hardest to talk to her and show her how much she means to me. She tells me she is not going to do anything to hurt our children. He lives one state over and is about 6 hours away. She has now told me that I need to back off and let her think before it screws both of us up even further and the kids. How are I supposed to back off when I want this to work more than anything in the world, she is my world and I love her with wholeheartedly.


Calmly tell her that, while she's certainly free to go, doing so will mean the end of your marriage.

And, FWIW, the two of you should probably pursue marriage counseling.


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## Zolt (Jul 10, 2015)

We both have been to counseling for all of that and got the help we needed on that aspect, but she refuses to talk to anyone about our marriage. He is actually supposed to be coming here tomorrow for their lunch date.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

'That aspect' will continue for your entire life. My children are 28 and 29, so I can testify.

Your wife has three young children and her heart is telling her to pursue an old flame rather than do her best to take care of her family. (And please, no protestations on what a great mother she is - if she is doing what she is doing, she is not putting her children first.)

Taking your child with her for her rendezvous uses a young child as a shield in a way that neither of you should be on board with.

Sure, you two need some marriage counseling, but she needs her own help, imo. You need your own help


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

And fwiw, I absolutely agree with Gus. You should draw the line in the sand. Either no meeting and NC with the old flame, or your marriage is done.


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## Graywolf2 (Nov 10, 2013)

Is your six year old daughter aware that she’s supposed to function as a chaperone with her mom and her mom’s old boyfriend? If your daughter never leaves them alone then they will be discussing your marriage and their feelings for each other in front of her. Is that really your wife’s plan?

I tend to agree with Gus.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

If she goes, have her bags packed and waiting when she gets home. You cannot be weak. You must be strong on this. Ask her to leave and tell her you will be seeing your lawyer first thing next week.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

By the way, has your wife ever mentioned anything about wanting more children?

If so, that could be at least some of what's got her hamster wheel running.


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## Locke.Stratos (Sep 27, 2014)

I'm not sure of the kind of help you do need. What you went through with your children is heartbreaking. I can understand her need to seek support but that is what friends and family are for, not an emotional affair with a former boyfriend.

What you two went through affected you both and you didn't seek out former girlfriends. I think you both need therapy to help you with your relationship.

No, you do not need to back off. You don't want your wife to go then fight for her not to, tell her you don't support this and that if she pursues this it could lead to the break up of your marriage and family. The fact the she expects you to be okay with this is lunacy. Talk to/threaten the ex boyfriend if you have to. Or maybe you should let her go to "sort" out her "confusion", how knows.

If she is adamant on pursuing this then you tell her that the marriage is over and/or that you are also free to pursue other relationships with women as well. When you tell her this be convincing and mean it otherwise you'll just look like a fool.

Jealousy is actually a tool, it might help her see that she too stands to lose you because it doesn't appear that she feels (or cares) like her choice might put your marriage in jeopardy. I would use this as a last resort.

Your first two options should be therapy/counselling and letting her know where you stand and taking time to talk and communicate with one another, strengthening your relationship.

But if she still wants to see him then you let her know that you too will be seeking to sort out your "confusion" with the multitudes of women out there. Wish her well with her new/old beau, get a haircut, hit the gym, be the best father you can be and tell her that you'll be filing for divorce.


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## Zolt (Jul 10, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> By the way, has your wife ever mentioned anything about wanting more children?
> 
> If so, that could be at least some of what's got her hamster wheel running.


No she hasn't.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Zolt said:


> My wife and I have been married for 7 years and have 3 children, twin 2 year olds and a 6 year old. To make a long story short I went into a severe state of depression when three years ago I discovered that I could not have any more children of my own. The twins that we have are adopted embryos. There was problems with the pregnancy and it added more stress and depression on. They were born at 30 weeks and had to stay in NICU for almost 3 months. All of this also put my wife into a depression. Trying to be there for her and not let her see how bad I truly was made it worse on me and I went basically into a shell. I did not realize what I was doing to her. I had started ignoring her and she was not giving her the attention she needed. This went on for almost two years. Three months ago she came to me and told me that she was talking to her ex and that she was confused. The only other relationship that my wife has ever had was with this guy and she has only been with him and myself. She has decided that she wants to meet him in person and have lunch with him. When they were dating she left him four times because of the way he treated her (controlling, demeaning, emotional) but he is now again promising her that he has changed. She is willing to take our oldest daughter with her to ensure me that she is not going to do anything inappropriate. I have tried my hardest to talk to her and show her how much she means to me. She tells me she is not going to do anything to hurt our children. He lives one state over and is about 6 hours away. She has now told me that I need to back off and let her think before it screws both of us up even further and the kids. How are I supposed to back off when I want this to work more than anything in the world, she is my world and I love her with wholeheartedly.


Advise she can go....just not as your W. If she does go, have her things packed and ready..............she is no longer your W.


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

you're supposed to back off while she goes on a date with her old lover to see if she wants to pick him again?

that's some balls your wife has!

how they they been 'talking'? actually talking on the phone or just texting/IM? have you seen/heard their conversations? do so.

kind of late if he's on his way, but yeah, get a VAR, in her car and where she talks on the phone in the house. And heck, if she wants to use your daughter as a chaperone, you should let your daughter take a bag with a VAR in it. I bet they go somewhere next to a park and tell your daughter to go run and play while Mommy and Uncle POS catch up on old times.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

ReidWright said:


> you're supposed to back off while she goes on a date with her old lover to see if she wants to pick him again?
> 
> that's some balls your wife has!
> 
> ...


I would not VAR a darn thing. Nor would I assist in enabling it either. Your W has lost her marbles thinking you would be ok with her "plans" with using D as a co-ck blocker. I mean seriously. WTF?


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

Zolt said:


> We both have been to counseling for all of that and got the help we needed on that aspect, but she refuses to talk to anyone about our marriage. He is actually supposed to be coming here tomorrow for their lunch date.


Never let your W date another man. Tell her is she meets him, it is over. Consult an attorney asap.

Also tell her in no uncertain terms that your family, especially your kids, are going to be deeply scarred by her BS.


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## Idyit (Mar 5, 2013)

Mr. Idyit to Mrs. Idyit: "Sure honey. You can have as many exclusive male friends and go on as many dates as you like. You just can't be married to me at the same time."

Don't crumble to an unreasonable demand now. It will set the stage moving forward. And will not get better.

~ Passio


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I would make it clear she is free to go as she pleases but if she does go, it will mean the end of the marriage, no going back or negotiating. I think it's sick to take one of your kids with you on a road trip to an affair. You can't allow her to do this and think she will come home to business as usual.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

You have posted your thread in CWI So........You must understand on some level that she is being unfaithful

Stand up and stop this at once or trust me it will not end well for anyone.

55


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

I would start a conversation with her in a calm manner. Avoid raising your voice. Don't come off as angry or desperate.

"Wife, I love you and I sincerely apologize for not meeting your needs in the past. I am willing to do my part to make our marriage work. But that doesn't include giving you permission to cheat on me. I can't control what you do, but I can control what I accept from you. If you pursue this relationship or have any further contact with this man, then we will both know that *you* are the one that has chosen to end our marriage". 

If she goes to meet him, she has made that choice. You can absolutely not accept this. Contact an attorney the minute after the door shuts behind her.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Add me to the list of people who think she's crazy!

No matter what has happened in your marriage, you don't go out auditioning someone as the next husband without first divorcing the current one!

Tell her that if she wants to meet up with him, it's either with YOU along as a couple meeting an old friend of one of them, or as a freshly separated woman on the way to divorce.

She chose you over him years ago and built a life with you. If she doesn't like it, you're happy to work with her, in counselling, to turn it around. But she can't pretend she's not married and be trying to evaluate her options a second time.

If there's still any confusion in her mind about what to do, clearly she's already done with your marriage and just doesn't know how to tell you.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

I agree with the others who have said that if she meets with him, it is on the understanding that the marriage is over and you will be filing for divorce (and you really have to be prepared to go through with it). 

By the way, how do you know that this "relationship" with her ex hasn't progressed much further than you think ? Else, as others have said, she must have some balls on her!


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Zolt said:


> My wife and I have been married for 7 years and have 3 children, twin 2 year olds and a 6 year old.
> 
> To make a long story short I went into a *severe state of depression *when three years ago ..... All of this also put my *wife into a depression*. Trying to be there for her and not let her see how bad I truly was made it worse on me and *I went basically into a shell. I did not realize what I was doing to her*. I had started ignoring her and she was not giving her the attention she needed. This went on for almost two years.
> 
> ...





Zolt said:


> We both have been to counseling for all of that and got the help we needed on that aspect, but *she refuses to talk to anyone about our marriage. He is actually supposed to be coming here tomorrow for their lunch date*.





Zolt said:


> No she hasn't.



A few things. First she has reasons for wanting to see him and they may be crazy talk, but you probably aren't going to talk her out of her seeing him. If she left him 4 times, there is a great chance that even if she slept with him, she would leave him 5 times. Since she told you she isn't going to do anything in appropriate, take her at her word.

Tell her that you screwed up in the way your treated her. Aplogize and tell her you will work hard to give her the love and affection she needs. Tell her you would like to go to marriage councililng with her so that the two of you can work torward improving your marriage. Remind her that anything that hurts your marriage will hurt your children and both you and she don't want them to be hurt.

Whether she agrees or not get an appointment for a marriage counsoler and go to it. You might get some help.

If your W continues to see this ex, then you need to remind her that she is a married woman and is endangering her children's future hapiness. If she persists after the first meeting, then you have a hard choice. 

My personal advice is to get and read Chapman's 5 Lanaguages of Love and Glover's No More Mr. Nice Guy. They will both help you understand yourself and probably your past actions. I would then work on Getting a Life and improving yourself. Then you should drop all anger and resentment toward your wife and provide her with unconditional love in her love languages. 

Finally, as strange as it sounds you should consult a divorce attorney without telling your wife and your discussion with the attorney shoud be on what your state divorce laws entail and their time-tables, along with how can you best protect family assets in a divorce so that they are preserved not for you or your W, but for you children's financial future.

Good luck and get some professional counseling.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

badmemory said:


> I would start a conversation with her in a calm manner. Avoid raising your voice. Don't come off as angry or desperate.
> 
> "Wife, I love you and I sincerely apologize for not meeting your needs in the past. I am willing to do my part to make our marriage work. But that doesn't include giving you permission to cheat on me. I can't control what you do, but I can control what I accept from you. If you pursue this relationship or have any further contact with this man, then we will both know that *you* are the one that has chosen to end our marriage".
> 
> If she goes to meet him, she has made that choice. You can absolutely not accept this. Contact an attorney the minute after the door shuts behind her.


I wish I could "Like" ^this^ about a hojillion times.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

What?! 

You can't physically stop her from going on a DATE with another man, but I'd sure as hell be taking the kids out of the house and out to Chuck E. Cheese's or something so they can't go with her to learn from mommy's infidelity.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Lord give me strength.

No woman who values her husband, her family or marriage would even contemplate of saying and doing what your wife has. Depression is not an excuse to betray her marital vows. How do you think she would react if the roles were reversed?

It is evident that she has zero respect for you as a man because you have zero respect for yourself. Why do you think she is attracted to her ex who treated her like crap? Because he doesn't allow any woman to disrespect him.

If you want to be a cuckold who is into shaming and humiliation by his wife, then go for it. Please consider going somewhere else for advice. But if you are not, then it is time for you to regain your self respect and tell your wife that you will not allow her to treat you this way and that you are through with her. Start reading the following:

*http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/24796-just-let-them-go.html#post306559*
*The 180 degree rules*
*No More Mr Nice Guy*
*Dads divorce*


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Zolt said:


> We both have been to counseling for all of that and got the help we needed on that aspect, but she refuses to talk to anyone about our marriage. He is actually supposed to be coming here tomorrow for their lunch date.


Go with her -take all the kids. 

*Let him know that he is welcome to her....and when will they be leaving and do they have appropriate housing for all the children?*

Probably scare the hell out him right there.

This doesn't solve the main problem of your wife's balls being much larger than yours though.

work on that


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I will say again that the fact that the two of you think it's in any way appropriate to send your young daughter out on a date with her and her bf says SO much about both of you.

You can't man up enough to tell her directly that the M is over if she does this. (Frankly, the fact that it has gone this far would be enough for me to be visiting an attorney.) You won't show up to do the c0ckblocking yourself.

No, you send a child. Your child.

The two of you should be deeply ashamed that you have even considered it.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Oh God, don't let her involve your daughter. What the h*ll is this woman thinking? If she insists on this let her go...and I do mean "Let her go" but bringing your daughter with her will only confuse the poor child and damage her thoughts of what "normal couples" do. This is definitely not normal.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Long list of experienced posters here with the same advice.....if she goes, end the M.

Oh....and the idea of her bringing your daughter along to meet this abusive POS is ridiculous....tell her in no uncertain terms that isn't happening.

I agree with the others......DO NOT get yourself involved with the stupid and futile 'pick me' dance that so many BS's seem to try to 'nice' their WS back.

She is MARRIED to you....the idea that somehow she is in a dating situation again trying to decide which guy would suit her best in the future is bullsh*t.

If she insists....tell her that POSOM wins....and to go have fun getting f*cked over by this a**hat for the fifth time.

But make sure she knows that if she chooses this, there is NO coming back...it is over and you are filing.


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## Doyle (Mar 6, 2013)

Mate a lot are saying if she goes have her bags packed for when she gets back.
Like hell,the kid stays with you and the bags are packed to take with her.

Everyone seems to agree, and that's usually a good indicator that you need to really strong up on her.
Good luck mate remember-- strong up,


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## life_huppens (Jun 3, 2015)

I cannot believe that OP is actually considering letting her go to meet OM. The answer should be "NO". Also, looks like she is not willing to talk to anyone about marriage issues. To me it sound like she have given up on marriage, and looking for a secure way out. If she still go to meet OM then marriage is done.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

life_huppens said:


> *I cannot believe that OP is actually considering letting her go to meet OM. *


I remember one from years ago where the BH drove the WW to the airport for her initial rendezvous with the OM. 

Very little surprises me anymore.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

3putt said:


> I remember one from years ago where the BH drove the WW to the airport for her initial rendezvous with the OM.
> 
> Very little surprises me anymore.


Wow...just Wow


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

3putt said:


> I remember one from years ago where the BH drove the WW to the airport for her initial rendezvous with the OM.
> 
> Very little surprises me anymore.


I remember a thread in which the BW was knowingly doing the same for her WH.


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## Borntohang (Sep 4, 2014)

So, you're cool with your wife going on a date? 
I don't care if your daughter is there or not! 
Ask yourself "What is she trying to figure out? "
Think about it!


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"I remember one from years ago where the BH drove the WW to the airport for her initial rendezvous with the OM.

Very little surprises me anymore."

Yeah...I remember that one too.

Simply amazing the level of disrespect that some BS's will tolerate.

Sometimes it seems to me that something about our culture/society is so seriously off that we are suffering from an epidemic of co-dependency as a mental disorder.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Dyokemm said:


> "I remember one from years ago where the BH drove the WW to the airport for her initial rendezvous with the OM.
> 
> Very little surprises me anymore."
> 
> ...


Actually, what we're suffering from is an epidemic of pansy-assed men.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

If you roll over and take this, she will lose all respect for you. This may be a major SH!t test. Don't fail.


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## DoneWithHurting (Feb 4, 2015)

When she goes on her date, make sure she dresses in a real short mini skirt, tight fitting, low cut see thru top with no bra, high heels and no panties and lots of skanky makeup.

You want to make sure it goes well for her cause you don't want this woman in your life if she goes knowing you will divorce her ass.

My vote is NO DATE. You gotta be crazy. I have an idea... why not tag along... bring your shotgun.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

3putt said:


> Actually, what we're suffering from is an epidemic of pansy-assed men.


Called *lack of self respect*.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

morituri said:


> Called *lack of self respect*.


Yep!


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Zolt said:


> when I want this to work more than anything in the world, she is my world and I love her with wholeheartedly.


Zolt my man, I've said this time and time again. It doesn't matter what you want or how much you love her. What keeps her is how much she loves you. You sound like a real candy azz and not much of a challenge. Not the kind of guy who is able to maintain a woman's interest.
You probably think your problem is figuring out how to stop her from meeting up with her ex for lunch. It's not. Your real problem is figuring out why she's rekindling a romance with this cat. The way it is now, even if you temporarily stop her, the desire is still there and likely won't go away. For what ever reason, she's looking for a better deal than she's getting from you and wants it so bad she's considering going back to a guy she left four times before you came along. Her romantic interest in you has hit the skids, because you're a needy, wimped out nice guy and the only way to keep this woman you believe is your world is to change your behavior. BTW, she knows the controlling, demeaning, emotional "bad boy" she is now measuring you against is not changed and that couldn't make her happier.
Oh ya. I need to explain lunch with an ex, where they sit across the table, look into each others eyes, reminiscing about all the feelings they once shared and seeing that look that was only for each other. By hey my man, its only lunch.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I think there's true cognitive dysfunction that characterizes stories like this. We know the WS is in the rainbow land of new love and thus romanticizes and justifies the cheating, but in these cases the BS validates it by thinking it somehow noble to let the WS 'test the waters.'

It's so misguided on every level. It's like they're acting out a soap opera story rather than going through real life.

OP is not a noble martyr to his wife's search for fulfillment. He is just another poor guy whose WW is justifying her cheating heart.

I think that the old, reliable words do a good job of bringing something like this down to earth. If you are reading, OP, your WW isn't seeking her bliss or running towards her fate. She is having a date with her boyfriend. This is one of the things that marriage precludes. You, as her husband, should be making it clear that it is a no-go.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

She is a poor wife and a terrible mother.

She can stop being a poor wife and a terrible mother.

If she has the moxie. But does she? Maybe not. Hopefully she does, but...


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Zolt said:


> We both have been to counseling for all of that and got the help we needed on that aspect, but she refuses to talk to anyone about our marriage. He is actually supposed to be coming here tomorrow for their lunch date.


Why just your daughter....hell bring the whole family!

They way I see it is there are two kinds of controlling...your kind and the Ex kind... so tell your old lady to pick one.

The last think you want to be is on the other end of a confused chick.

One thing I do know chicks dig confident guys so have the confidence to protect your marriage....tell he no.....it will always be up to your old lady to respect you or not.

In short let your old lady tell you to go pound sand. Then its on her for the choices she made, and not on you for "letting it happen"!!!

Then again she just ,might have enough respect for you to listen to you....

At the end of the day the marriage is way to fragile to be going off and meeting the ex.

Dude I have been here way to long...that POS will try his best to sweet talk your old lady, and your kid....

How old is your kid?

I bet the phucker slips your kid a hundred and tells her to go buy what ever she wants while he and mommy talk.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

At the end of the day don't give your old lady a hall pass...tell her how you feel ( so just tell her no...she'll do it anyway) and reconfirm your love for her and the family.

Just so you know i thinks it's bull shyt to tell someone what they want to hear...especially when something is at stake like protecting the family unit.

Again your old lady asked you...so gotta give her an honest answer....at the end of the day it will be up to her to make the choice. 

I've seen this crap before... your old lady is looking at you to validate her choice to see this guy by you being open and understanding.....phuck that!

I say let the POS find his own lunch date and leave your wife alone..


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Never give your spouse permission to date someone else. That is what she is asking you for. If you concur or even do so quietly- she will lose all respect for you and you will lose all elf respect.

I agree, time for a line in the sand.

Buy a box of black trash bags to help her pack if she decides to go.

Taking a child with her does not make sure nothing happens. The way she makes sure nothing happens is by honoring her marriage and family and not meeting with ex boyfriends.

Good luck
WD


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

So how was lunch?


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

Please don't tell me you let her go with out telling her to look for some where else to stay and don't bother coming back and don't worry about friends and family knowing where you are as you will give them the new address


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Our man Zolt may be alright staying in the garage while she test drives another model. He loves her that much. :wink2:


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

You should inform her that every action we take leads to consequences.

In her case you cannot stop her from going to meet up with him however the consequences will be the locks will be changed and she does not come back.

You have to be prepared to carry this through if she decides to ignore your warning.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

A runner ???
Well Z, how did her lunch date go??


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## life_huppens (Jun 3, 2015)

I think OP will not be coming back. Looks like what was advised was not what he was looking for.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"I think OP will not be coming back. Looks like what was advised was not what he was looking for."

I hope you are wrong.

But we have all read threads here where a BS lets their fear of 'pushing away' their WS lead them to ignore the advice they are given.

Experienced posters here can only offer sound advice....in the end, every BS must find the strength within themselves to FIGHT for their M's and families.

Unfortunately, some of them never reach that point at all, or don't get there until their situations have gotten MUCH worse and they are essentially backed into a corner and forced to take a stand.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

If Zolt does not stand up to his wife now he will regret it for the rest of his life even if he does R.

She is going to see this man that had many intimate relations with her and then he abused her so they got divorced. Intimate-Abuse, *which one do you think she has been thinking about?*

Zolt, you have already been rejected and replaced to a certain extent. DO NOT allow this disrespect!
*If she does not respect you then make sure that you respect yourself!*


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