# Need advice =(



## GucciChick (Apr 19, 2010)

My husband of 8 years has been treating me like crap for the past 3 years. Never wanted sex, never really talked to me, never wanted to go anywhere- I just didn't exist. I stayed because I was dumb. I thought i could fix it, regardless of all of the failed attempts to communicate with him. Well, April 1st, I came home from school- he sat me down and explained that he had moved all of his stuff out, and got an apartment with a roomate-some female he worked with 2 years ago. He said it was just a seperation- and he needed to clear his head. He also promised me he wasn't with her.

I cried for a few days. I begged him to come back- and I was just miserable. His family and mine keep telling me to go out and have fun, that he's worthless. 

Well, I joined a site and started talking to someone else. I eventually met him, and we hit it off right away. This man is wonderful- we go out, we do things, we talk constantly- we really enjoy each others company. 

Now that I met this man, thinking back, I realize that I as miserable. I never laughed, always moped- always found everyones flaws just to make mine seem smaller. I found that I deserve better. I don't want my husband back. We have a 6 year old together, and I will stay civil with him but I do not want him back. He moved in with a female he has been talking to for 2 years- he kept her from me.. he got a promotion at work last year and never told me- just saved so he can leave. He is a piece of garbage.

My questions are, am I a bad person for wanting to be with someone else while still married? I have not lied- he knows my situation, and he still wants to be with me. Do I straight up tell my husband about this guy, or do I wait? I have never been through this, and I am so confused.


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## jusme (Jan 4, 2010)

No, it doesn't make you a bad person. Your husband stopped investing in your marriage and started investing elsewhere. He left. Talk to your H and tell him you are ready to move forward.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

Your H is a real jerk. Dont tell him about the guy you met. its none of his business. But you might want to talk to your kid about what is going on, maybe what is going to happen. I dont really know though. I dont have any kids. I would think it would help if you both sat together and talked to your child so he/she wasnt feeling lost in the shuffle. I hear kids will think it is their fault when parents split up, so maybe you could talk to him/her about that.


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

Yes tell him.
You're not a bad person at all! Your husband was probably having an affair with this "friend" of his for a while before he got the guts and money to leave. He's a liar and a cheater and a coward; instead of trying to work on things he ran from you and your child yet lied again that he's not with that woman. HIS LOSS
You deserve to be happy and enjoy yourself and your new man. Someone in here recommended the book "The Script" which I read and could relate to, and what you've written is in the book too...word for word lol

Read it it's interesting http://www.thescriptonline.com


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I'm sorry, but 3 weeks is ENTIRELY too soon to be talking to other men. You aren't even legally separated yet, let alone divorced!

Come on...

I'm not trying to be mean, but you are reacting out of emotion, not brains.

Back off from this rebound guy and do yourself and your kid a favor and just.be.alone for awhile to clear your head and your heart.


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

You may want to talk to a lawyer. He moved out to clear his head, and you immediately started screwing someone. I don't care how accurate that description is, it's the one the judge will hear if it gets to divorce court. I've got nothing for emotional support, but start covering your legal butt.


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

cody5 said:


> You may want to talk to a lawyer. He moved out to clear his head, and you immediately started screwing someone. I don't care how accurate that description is, it's the one the judge will hear if it gets to divorce court. I've got nothing for emotional support, but start covering your legal butt.


So you don't think he's screwing this female "friend" he moved in with? 
If he needs to clear his head he'll rent an apartment ALONE.


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

I'm just advising her to talk to a lawyer before she does something that could make it all her fault in divorce proceedings. She just needs to be careful.


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## GucciChick (Apr 19, 2010)

Thanks for your input. 

I have come to realize that I am not wrong for wanting to pursue this relationship. I am having fun, and enjoying my life. I deserve that. Right now all I am looking for is to have fun. I am slowly starting to get over this separation, and it is because I am allowing myself to. 

I am not screwing anyone, and even if I was, I am an adult and I can. My husband knows now. We sat and I explained everything. We even settled visitation of our son without the help of the courts. There will be no nasty divorce because this is now a mutual decision.


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## lexdyl (Apr 23, 2010)

you are not a bad person at all! i give you credit for doing this! you need to be happy.... period! no one deserves to be ignored!


Good luck!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

She is not screwing some other man. Her husband however is screwing another woman. The whole "clearing his head" is code for "testing out other options". You have every right to be happy. He walked out, he broke his marriage vows....not you.


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