# Birthday present thoughts....



## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

A backstory....Friday night the hub and I went out to a bar and had a blast watching a band. He couldn't stop staring at me and we had a wonderful evening. 
Saturday night my friend had her annual Murder Mystery party called Murder in Margaritaville. Naturally the costume theme is island wear. Hubby spent most of the night kind of bored but managed to find a few young women dressed in very revealing clothes and his eyes were there most of the evening. He was drinking which is something he rarely does so perhaps his inhibitions were lowered. 
The party was winding down and a young guy came up to me. He said "You are awesome, are you here with anybody?" I told him yes, I am married and my husband is right over there. He said "Wow, sorry about that come on." We chatted a bit more and my husband comes up to us. I introduce him and we all start talking. The young guy says "BTW....your wife told me she is turning 40 soon. Wow, you are really lucky." Husband blurts out "Yeah, well she isn't 25 anymore". WTF?! The guy sees the look on my face and says "As I said, you are really really lucky." 
I drive us home and Sunday morning he gets out of bed. I got up at 8 and he got up at 11. He managed to pull a back muscle overnight and walked with a limp. He warbles in to the shower and comes out and asks me to put Icy Hot on his left shoulder blade. Me? I told him to go to hell. He looked at me with total shock and said "What's wrong?" I told him what he had done the night before and he said I was making it up.  
Not only did myself and young dude hear what he said but my friend and about 9 other people did as well. I proceed to tell him exactly what he did all night and what he said and he continues to say he didn't do/say that.
So all day Sunday I am pissed. If he thinks he can keep up with young and sexy then why does he have back pain, etc., right? He fell asleep on the sofa at 3 and eventually went to bed at 9. I stayed up until 1:00 am doing things around the house AND having to go to work today but hey, I'm the old one, right? 
There's the background story so here is the question. Originally I was going to get him a very expensive suit. I did hint at it to him and he said no, save the money for our trip (Vegas in 6 weeks) and do not get him anything. I stopped at Walgreens this evening on my way home and bought what I needed but something drew me to the Ben Gay aisle, the Depends aisle, the Denturecream aisle, the Metamucil aisle and the Doon's back pain aisle and I bought all of them. The woman that I normally check out with said "Damn, are you taking care of someone?" I said no, just getting back at someone. 
Thoughts? He doesn't have a fear of getting older, just me and his words stung and hurt and he doesn't acknowledge what he said, claims he doesn't remember. 
I am the one who wants to go skydiving for her 40th and yet he hates rollercoasters. I am the one who loves to get an adrenaline rush from anything and he wants to watch t.v. Yeah, I am the old one.  Should I give Ben Gay boy his just rewards? Mind you, Vegas is his actual gift and he does have a wicked sense of humor. :scratchhead:
Grrrr, just pissed.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Fire, gasoline can, pour on fire.

See what happens.


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## notaname (Feb 4, 2011)

Wow. That is pretty crappy. To add insult to injury by basically calling you a liar on top of it. Jeez. That sucks.

I would individually wrap all the gag gifts for him...


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

michzz said:


> Fire, gasoline can, pour on fire.
> 
> See what happens.


Did you come from the Conrad school of word management? What do you MEAN?! :scratchhead:


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Brennan said:


> Did you come from the Conrad school of word management? What do you MEAN?! :scratchhead:


Ok, situation is a low-level flame. Some damage control needed in the way of an apology. Or at least acknowledgment that drunkenness created a situation.

He knows you're pissed.

Buying all those things as a present is a flippin the bird moment.

Hence the pouring gas on the fire comment. It will blow up in your face!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Here is what we know:

1. YOU have an issue with your age.
2. Your husband doesn't drink ... but was drinking.
3. He loves you, desires you and is devoted to you, as per your posts about having several stellar dates as of late.
4. You have wanted the truth about what he fantasizes about, finds attractive and sexy, he provided it to you ... and you didn't much like hearing it.
5. He's a bit of a dope. Again, I'm relying upon your eyewitness testimony. In an effort to rebuff the advances of a young buck upon his wife, he tries to make a dismissive comment about said young buck oggling his wife ... and in the attempt, insults his wife instead. Yeah, I'd say he's a bit of a dope.
6. You carry a grudge with wrath and fury that would make the Norse Gods shudder.

Does he have any friggin' clue how anxious you are about this whole age thing?

Give him the gag gifts. Make sure he doesn't OD on Metamucil while you're in Vegas, it's liable to give him the wind ...


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

michzz said:


> Ok, situation is a low-level flame. Some damage control needed in the way of an apology. Or at least acknowledgment that drunkenness created a situation.
> 
> He knows you're pissed.
> 
> ...


Hell yes it is a flippin the bird moment. This from a man who recently told me that a younger woman makes him feel like he could throw the winning touchdown. WTH? It isn't ME who is keeping him down, it's him!!! Like I said, I am up for skydiving. He is up for what's on television tonight. Apparently my aging is keeping him down.  A-hole.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Brennan said:


> Hell yes it is a flippin the bird moment. This from a man who recently told me that a younger woman makes him feel like he could throw the winning touchdown. WTH? It isn't ME who is keeping him down, it's him!!! Like I said, I am up for skydiving. He is up for what's on television tonight. Apparently my aging is keeping him down.  A-hole.


Gas prices are going up over $4 a gallon out here on the coast.

Personally, I'd think twice about wasting it on angry stuff.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Deejo said:


> Here is what we know:
> 
> 1. YOU have an issue with your age.
> 2. Your husband doesn't drink ... but was drinking.
> ...


Well, sh!t cookie, you did nail it. So now what? What happened hurt me beyond belief. I have told you before about my past and him saying this....yeah, it stung.  He's not a jerk by any means. He said what he said but doesn't remember but I wonder why he said it? So I am old to him?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

No dear, he was trying to seem cavalier about young dude commenting about his hot wife. He just executed it really, really, badly.

I never said he was a jerk. I said he was a dope, which generally infers that he is well intended but often mucks it up.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Did you just call Deejo cookie? 

Well, ya know, I say doooo it but I'm the fiery type that has trouble controlling herself so you might want to listen to the cookies on this one.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Deejo said:


> No dear, he was trying to seem cavalier about young dude commenting about his hot wife. He just executed it really, really, badly.
> 
> I never said he was a jerk. I said he was a dope, which generally infers that he is well intended but often mucks it up.


So why spend most of the party checking out younger women? He didn't seem to care what I was doing until I was spotted by him chatting up a 26 year old. All of a sudden I was important and by important I mean being insulted in from of young buck. He shreaded my dignity to make himself feel better. A-hole. 
His birthday is tomorrow and I am so on the fence about this. I want to prove my point and yet I want to just give him his plane tickets and room reservations for our trip to Vegas. Right now? I feel sooooo betrayed.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Oh! And I do have to add, as your adoring admirer, Get Over The Old Age Thing! You're 40, not 95!!! I will not hesitate to hit you with a big fish.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Brennan said:


> So why spend most of the party checking out younger women?


Because .... wait for it ...

THAT'S WHAT WE DO IN A BAR FULL OF SCANTILY CLAD YOUNG CHICKS.

You keep giving it more life and meaning than it warrants ... because you have this age angst things going on.

We're usually pretty good at hiding it. But of course hubby was boozed up ... poor soul didn't stand a chance, against the bar-bunnies or his wife.

If you were truly concerned ... you would have distracted him by talking to young dude much sooner in the process. :FIREdevil:


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Deejo said:


> Because .... wait for it ...
> 
> THAT'S WHAT WE DO IN A BAR FULL OF SCANTILY CLAD YOUNG CHICKS.
> 
> ...


Explain? :scratchhead:


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Was the young man that approached you and started chatting you up, attractive?

Now reverse roles, call me crazy but I'm imagining you would go all berserker if a bar-bunny decided to strike up a harmless conversation with your husband. And you would be angry with him ... I guarantee his sideways comment was either to throw off young dude, or ... because he was angry that you got hit on in the first place.

I was being facetious with my previous comment. I meant to imply that had you just hit on a young dude earlier, you wouldn't have had to worry about your beer-goggled husband checking out coeds. He would have focused his attention on protecting the female to whom he has claimed breeding rights. You. (Last bit is still facetious)


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## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

Brennan said:


> If he thinks he can keep up with young and sexy then why does he have back pain, etc., right?



I have had recurring upper and lower back pain problems I was 21.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Deejo is right here. The booze did not help him. I'm not one to ogle at women, but sometimes you just can't help it. Now, add booze and you have the recipe for disaster. I don't really drink and have never been really drunk yet, but even when tipsy I feel as if I have to pause and think at everything I do or it comes out weird.

Not excusing him, but consider what Deejo said, with him being a klutz and you have your answer. As for Michzz's post. Giving the finger to someone, no matter how will only aggravate the situation. Again a personal example, but once I'd did something I felt was harmless (turrned out to be big for her) tried to apologize and got a big FU and the finger. Well, immediately went cool. Sometimes two wrongs don't make a right.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## yummy11 (Mar 1, 2011)

Wow. That is pretty crappy


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

People remember these milestone B-days - especially if they're crappy. I wouldnt' go too far over the top.

And hey - congratulations on having a younger man hit on you!!!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Hi Brennan,

Spend more time around young men, they will make you feel young! When you go to parties, put on sexy clothes, and look for young men to chat with! Hey, don't forget, a lot of young men like cougars. Your husband has a lot of competitors. 

Spending your time feeling pissed will make you look even older. Please don't do it! Have a big mischievous smile, and tell life to go to hell!


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## NumbAndSad (Feb 8, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> People remember these milestone B-days - especially if they're crappy.


Definitely agree on this one- I turned 40 a week and a half ago, and not only was my husband out of town, he completely forgot about my birthday. Didn't even call to say "Happy Birthday." Hasn't mentioned it at all since, either.

I celebrated my 40th birthday by taking my daughter to dinner at McDonalds so she could play on the playset, we went out for ice cream after, and then I went home and cried myself to sleep. 

Worst birthday ever, and I'll remember it forever.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

NumbAndSad said:


> Definitely agree on this one- I turned 40 a week and a half ago, and not only was my husband out of town, he completely forgot about my birthday. Didn't even call to say "Happy Birthday." Hasn't mentioned it at all since, either.
> 
> I celebrated my 40th birthday by taking my daughter to dinner at McDonalds so she could play on the playset, we went out for ice cream after, and then I went home and cried myself to sleep.
> 
> Worst birthday ever, and I'll remember it forever.


Holy crap, honey!!!! Oh, man. Giant, giant hugs to you, sweetie.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

No one forgets anyone's 40th birthday unless they're senile.


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## NumbAndSad (Feb 8, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> No one forgets anyone's 40th birthday unless they're senile.


Or unless they're on the phone and texting with the 20 year old girl they're having an affair with, for the whole evening.


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