# What if the gender's were reversed in this WOMEN"S HEALTH story?



## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

I saw this story and wondered if a man was telling this story, how would he be received? 









'I Left My Husband For An 18-Year-Old (And I Have ZERO Regrets)'


He gave me my first insight into what it felt like to really be seen.




www.womenshealthmag.com


----------



## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

skerzoid said:


> I saw this story and wondered if a man was telling this story, how would he be received?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I can tell you one thing, the man would have been labelled a pig and philanderer and consigned to the scrap heap of human consciousness. No one would have lauded his actions nor hold it up as some sort of empowerment or enlightenment.

he definitely wouldn't have had this platform to tell his sordid tale and spin it in a positive light.

The fact that this is even in the slightest accepted in Western society is a testament as to how sick our civilization has become.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I don't see why there would be any difference - I certainly wouldn't have any negative reactions either way. The marriage was over, she kicked him out, and moved on (that she already knew the new man does not make a difference here, nor does it matter that he's younger than her or her ex).


----------



## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

this is simply the new perfect life plan
Provider relationship and romantic relationship
The writing is on the wall, The message this article sends to men is
Don't be a provider.
30 year old man sending love poems to a 20 Co-Ed. He earned this.
Edit with apology: I didn't read the whole article. Looks like the first man wasn't much of a provider. She was in law school, and I would expect her to run her relationships smarter. I assumed that man one (mark) provided for her through school. Now she can go to work and provide for boy toy sean.


----------



## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Classic case of monkey branching as well.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I find what she did to be quite predatory.

But I also find a 30 year old man sniffing out a 20 year old girl to be predatory. On top of that he then becomes a 35 year old married man living with his parents so I can understand why she dumped him.

And I'm not so sure that a 20 year old guy who was pursued by a 30 year old woman when they're 35 and 25 who then has to move in with her parents would really get such a hard time for sniffing out an 18 year old girl when he was 25.

25 to 18 is predatory but 30 to 20 us worse IMO.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Al_Bundy said:


> Classic case of monkey branching as well.


When your hb is a 35 year old bartender to your 25 and you have to live with his parents it's not hard to do better. 

A decent 25 year old man in such a situation would have no trouble upgrading, though he'd do it for different reasons.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

skerzoid said:


> I saw this story and wondered if a man was telling this story, how would he be received?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It's creepy either way, taking up with a person you knew as a child as soon as they turn 18!


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

skerzoid said:


> I saw this story and wondered if a man was telling this story, how would he be received?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


She sounds like an idiot who takes zero responsibility for her own actions and decisions, and she thinks the tingles means true love. I don't think I'd personally see it any differently if she were male, but I'm sure there would be no article on a male doing this. A 25 year old man leaving his wife and taking up with an 18 year old wouldn't even bat an eye would it? Maybe if he were 40, or 50 that might get an article.


----------



## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> When your hb is a 35 year old bartender to your 25 and you have to live with his parents it's not hard to do better.
> 
> A decent 25 year old man in such a situation would have no trouble upgrading, though he'd do it for different reasons.


Not hard to end the relationship first then find someone else either. It's monkey branching no matter how you paint it.

Plus I'm sure a lot has been left out.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

18-year-olds' brains aren't even fully developed for like 7 more years. If she'd taken up with him when he was in his late 20s and fully mature, I might not have that big a problem with it because the brain gap and maturity gap might be less.


----------



## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Odd she felt so moved to publish a story about it, also funny it's been 5yrs and no follow up story.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

Al_Bundy said:


> Odd she felt so moved to publish a story about it, also funny it's been 5yrs and no follow up story.


 My bet... She got the tingles again and is with someone else.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

TBH I don’t think it matters much. I say “ew” either way.


----------



## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> I find what she did to be quite predatory.
> 
> But I also find a 30 year old man sniffing out a 20 year old girl to be predatory. On top of that he then becomes a 35 year old married man living with his parents so I can understand why she dumped him.
> 
> ...


I’m really starting to notice and enjoy the actuary’s posts. All seem to be even keeled. 😁

While both scenarios are creepy, I think what Skerzoid is getting at is that our society today will accept one as being empowering but condemn the other when both should be condemned.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Al_Bundy said:


> Not hard to end the relationship first then find someone else either. It's monkey branching no matter how you paint it.
> 
> Plus I'm sure a lot has been left out.


No argument from me. I think that what happens is that laws of inertia come into play until an actual opportunity presents itself. It is of course better to leave first, though we are speaking from the perspective of being much older and experienced.

This was an exit affair, which while I think is ****ty I actually find preferable to keeping the spouse in the dark and continuing to benefit from the marriage while screwing around, as we so often see here.

It is weird that she'd feel the need to write about it, as has been pointed out.

I hope the now ex hb has put himself together and has a happy life.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

LATERILUS79 said:


> I’m really starting to notice and enjoy the actuary’s posts. All seem to be even keeled. 😁
> 
> While both scenarios are creepy, I think what Skerzoid is getting at is that our society today will accept one as being empowering but condemn the other when both should be condemned.


Maybe I am too old/conservative/un-woke but I view it as yucky either way. Watching the hands on the clock tick off for that high school grad so you can get in there.

Then again a 25 year old who lives with mommy and daddy is maybe a similar or even younger emotional age to an 18 year old who’s joining the Navy.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

LATERILUS79 said:


> I’m really starting to notice and enjoy the actuary’s posts. All seem to be even keeled. 😁
> 
> While both scenarios are creepy, I think what Skerzoid is getting at is that our society today will accept one as being empowering but condemn the other when both should be condemned.


What, you didn't always enjoy my witty posts?

😁

I think women should be just as accountable as men for being assholes. True feminists understand that with equality comes equal accountability.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

skerzoid said:


> I saw this story and wondered if a man was telling this story, how would he be received?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well, aside from her poor first marriage and maybe being a little silly in the telling, I don't really see anything wrong with this. I don't think I would be overly concerned about a 25 year old man dating an 18 year old woman either.

But I might be biased because a ten year difference doesn't really ping my radar and I met my then 31 year old girlfriend when I was 20 and she has become my wife for life.


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> wife for life.


You should get shirts made and put some ads on the net, maybe have a couple variants with different fonts and use “4” instead of “for”, big 🤑🤑


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

LATERILUS79 said:


> I’m really starting to notice and enjoy the actuary’s posts. All seem to be even keeled. 😁
> 
> While both scenarios are creepy, I think what Skerzoid is getting at is that our society today will accept one as being empowering but condemn the other when both should be condemned.


I have 2 sons and I think a lot about what they will deal with. I think having opposite sex kids can help shift one's perspective a bit.

If a 30 year old woman pursues either my 21 or 18 year old momma is going on the warpath.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> You should get shirts made and put some ads on the net, maybe have a couple variants with different fonts and use “4” instead of “for”, big 🤑🤑


You see. Guys like you have all the good business ideas. I'm very bad at stuff like that!🙂


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> I have 2 sons and I think a lot about what they will deal with. I think having opposite sex kids can help shift one's perspective a bit.
> 
> If a 30 year old woman pursues either my 21 or 18 year old momma is going on the warpath.


My mother was very protective of me in my early teens but I was fully independent by 18 and had been more of an adult than her since I was 15. Not ideal or healthy but real life.

Mrs. C actually knew my mom for years and my mom liked her. She actually arranged her to meet me that first time.


----------



## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> I have 2 sons and I think a lot about what they will deal with. I think having opposite sex kids can help shift one's perspective a bit.
> 
> If a 30 year old woman pursues either my 21 or 18 year old momma is going on the warpath.


I have twins. Boy and a girl. I prefer to bring them up the same way but also look at reality. Things are going to be different for the two of them and no social construct is going to change that.

my wife has to fight between her upbringing in the crazy style of feminism with the old school kind that fought for equality of opportunity. Clearly, she isn’t completely won over by modern times or she would have never married me. 😂

I bring this up because of what you said LIfeistooshort. I keep thinking of situations where something “modern” that is accepted by popular society happens to our boy. Say something creepy like a 30 year old woman grooming him when he is a kid and then dating him when he is 18.

I think MommaBear will throw modern feminism by the wayside REAL fast once her baby boy is involved in someone’s “empowerment”.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I might have missed a detail.

If she was developing a relationship with a 15 year old kid, waiting for him to turn 18, that's extremely predatory and creepy.

Yup, definitely predatory and I wouldn't be happy with either gender doing it but a lot of women have been preying on boys for a long time and not getting the same treatment a man would.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> I might have missed a detail.
> 
> If she was developing a relationship with a 15 year old kid, waiting for him to turn 18, that's extremely predatory and creepy.
> 
> Yup, definitely predatory and I wouldn't be happy with either gender doing it but a lot of women have been preying on boys for a long time and not getting the same treatment a man would.


A lot of female teachers are going to prison in my state for sexual relations with their students. Seems like every month I’m reading about another one. People are gross.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

QuietRiot said:


> A lot of female teachers are going to prison in my state for sexual relations with their students. Seems like every month I’m reading about another one. People are gross.


It took a while I guess but at least the authorities are starting to take this seriously.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> I might have missed a detail.
> 
> If she was developing a relationship with a 15 year old kid, waiting for him to turn 18, that's extremely predatory and creepy.
> 
> Yup, definitely predatory and I wouldn't be happy with either gender doing it but a lot of women have been preying on boys for a long time and not getting the same treatment a man would.


How much of that is the societal view of how damaging that is? Is it related to the old double standard of girls must be chaste but boys will be boys?

There has certainly been more of a history of men victimizimg little girls but maybe that's because it was more accepted by society?

Is it equally damaging to boys and girls? I would think it could be but admittedly I don't have any data on that.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

skerzoid said:


> I saw this story and wondered if a man was telling this story, how would he be received?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I think she's an idiot. Unless she's rich, she's heading for an age of loneliness, having traded off some short-term pleasure over the long-term biological reality of being an older woman. Does she think this 18 year will be in her life when she's 60 and he's in his thirties?


----------



## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

QuietRiot said:


> A lot of female teachers are going to prison in my state for sexual relations with their students. Seems like every month I’m reading about another one. People are gross.


In the past, female predators would get probation and counseling, maybe. Reverse the genders back then and a male would be doing time. This has changed see some these days but not enough.


----------



## Megaforce (Nov 12, 2021)

I do not think it was more prevalent males on females. Under reported for sure, the female on male.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> How much of that is the societal view of how damaging that is? Is it related to the old double standard of girls must be chaste but boys will be boys?
> 
> There has certainly been more of a history of men victimizimg little girls but maybe that's because it was more accepted by society?
> 
> Is it equally damaging to boys and girls? I would think it could be but admittedly I don't have any data on that.


It might have been overlooked more in some circles than others and I'm certain it depended on who the girl was being preyed upon.

Mrs. C had the joyous time of losing her virginity at age 18 to a 40 year old predator who was married with children and a deacon with authority over the youth in the church.

He made out fine as everyone blamed her. It definitely destroyed her and her outlook for a long time and she let them convince her it was her fault so she looked down on herself.

I will leave out the childhood assaults by women done to me as I don't believe they are relevant to this topic but I had some women preying on me in my teens. It did damage me in the way I looked at women and relationships. I even hated women for a short time between the age of 16-17 and I definitely lost faith. I fortunately ran into some good women between the age of 18-19 that restored my hope and then I met my wife at 20 and she had a lot to overcome to get me to a healthy place for our relationship.

It hurts people even if they don't understand it at the time which is why I'm glad it's mostly illegal.

I don't think 16 year olds should be getting married to adult men but it's apparently legal if the parents sign off. I'm rambling...😵‍💫


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jonty30 said:


> I think she's an idiot. Unless she's rich, she's heading for an age of loneliness, having traded off some short-term pleasure over the long-term biological reality of being an older woman. Does she think this 18 year will be in her life when she's 60 and he's in his thirties?


They aren't that far apart. He was 18 to her 25.

It's still creepy.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> They aren't that far apart. He was 18 to her 25.
> 
> It's still creepy.


It's where she is at mentally. She hadn't really grown in her 7 years from when she was 18 years old.
I just think women, who do this, aren't thinking of the ramifications long-term.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

The thing is, my wife's debacle was public knowledge and what happened with me was hidden.

Maybe it was more acceptable for girls to be hurt this way.

I don't care if the guy is on his death bed, if I saw him today I probably couldn't resist harrassing him at least.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jonty30 said:


> It's where she is at mentally. She hadn't really grown in her 7 years from when she was 18 years old.
> I just think women, who do this, aren't thinking of the ramifications long-term.


Maybe not, bur you're not talking about a situation where she'll be 60 and he's in his 30's.

It's more likely that he'll either one day decide that he didn't get to experience life before marriage or they grow into incompatible people.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> Maybe not, bur you're not talking about a situation where she'll be 60 and he's in his 30's.
> 
> It's more likely that he'll either one day decide that he didn't get to experience life before marriage or they grow into incompatible people.


Exactly. Even if takes ten years, she will be 35 and he'll be in his prime.
There is no loss on his part and he's probably smart enough to figure that out.

I thought this story was a story that I read about on Tango.com, where a woman in her thirties did this. The man doesn't lose a thing in this situation, because he can walk anytime he wants to and he won't be held accountable, but she loses. He gets lots of sex, as she tries to earn her worth, and he gets to walk away a player who will know how to please a woman. 

In my opinion, much of the woman empowering movement is vain and hurtful to women in general and unwise women fall for every trick, as long as it is labeled, "empowering"


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

jonty30 said:


> I think she's an idiot. Unless she's rich, she's heading for an age of loneliness, having traded off some short-term pleasure over the long-term biological reality of being an older woman. Does she think this 18 year will be in her life when she's 60 and he's in his thirties?


She was 25 and he was 18 when they started the affair. That's about a 7-year difference. When she's 60, he will be 53.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> She was 25 and he was 18 when they started the affair. That's about a 7-year difference. When she's 60, he will be 53.


If he sticks around, you're right.
I don't expect him to stick around.
Why would he?
There are nothing but positives for him to maximize his options in the relationship and walk away once anything is required of him.
If he's even somewhat above average in physical attractiveness and he's got the charm that he developed while with an older woman, what is the downside to him to walk away when he's 25 and he gets to be a player of women younger than him?


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Bahahahahahaa!

I always say there's *NOTHING* hotter than an 18-year-old pimple-faced teenage kid with Cheeto's stuck in his braces, greasy hair, filthy fingernails and wearing 4-day old underwear.

I can see why she was so tempted. 🤣 🤣 🤣


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> She was 25 and he was 18 when they started the affair. That's about a 7-year difference. When she's 60, he will be 53.


I'm not bothered by the age difference at all but the possible grooming/cultivating starting at age 15 does bother me.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Bahahahahahaa!
> 
> I always say there's *NOTHING* hotter than an 18 year old, pimple-faced teenage kid with Cheeto's stuck in his braces, 4-day old underwear, greasy hair and filthy fingernails.
> 
> I can see why she was so tempted. 🤣 🤣 🤣


Right? I taught high school before becoming an actuary and those boys flirted with me all the time.

I was in my early 30's at the time.
I found absolutely nothing appealing about those nasty kids 🤣🤣🤣


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Bahahahahahaa!
> 
> I always say there's *NOTHING* hotter than an 18-year-old pimple-faced teenage kid with Cheeto's stuck in his braces, greasy hair, filthy fingernails and wearing 4-day old underwear.
> 
> I can see why she was so tempted. 🤣 🤣 🤣


Here's the "18-year-old pimple-faced teenage kid with Cheeto's stuck in his braces, greasy hair, filthy fingernails and wearing 4-day old underwear" that she hooked up with.


----------



## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> Here's the "18-year-old pimple-faced teenage kid with Cheeto's stuck in his braces, greasy hair, filthy fingernails and wearing 4-day old underwear" that she hooked up with.
> 
> View attachment 81761


Definitely player material. 
If he has an accent, he won't ever be short of dates.


----------



## GoldenR (Jan 6, 2019)

I think if she told the truth in that story, she'd be crucified. She definitely ****ed Sean while still with Mark.


----------



## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Here's the "18-year-old pimple-faced teenage kid with Cheeto's stuck in his braces, greasy hair, filthy fingernails and wearing 4-day old underwear" that she hooked up with.
> 
> View attachment 81761


Im sure they had very deep and meaningful conversations.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Here's the "18-year-old pimple-faced teenage kid with Cheeto's stuck in his braces, greasy hair, filthy fingernails and wearing 4-day old underwear" that she hooked up with.
> 
> View attachment 81761


I still thought her post was funny but I didn't exactly fit her description past the age of 13 anyway.😉


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


EleGirl said:



Here's the "18-year-old pimple-faced teenage kid with Cheeto's stuck in his braces, greasy hair, filthy fingernails and wearing 4-day old underwear" that she hooked up with.

Click to expand...

*Forgive me.

He's an 18-year-old pimple-faced teenage kid with Cheeto's stuck in his braces, greasy hair, filthy fingernails, a receding hairline (poor kid), a mustache/beard and he's wearing 4-day old underwear.

Now it's fixed. 😁


----------



## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> Right? I taught high school before becoming an actuary and those boys flirted with me all the time.
> 
> I was in my early 30's at the time.
> I found absolutely nothing appealing about those nasty kids 🤣🤣🤣


Oh damn. You taught highschool?

So during the time that boys have very low control of their words and staring. 🤣 

I went to an all boys high school. We had a couple of good looking women teachers in their 20's....... so yeah.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I don't care about age differences. As long as all parties are of legal age, let em have at it. This is 2022, people should really learn to mind their business when it comes to who other people choose to date. 

With that said, there is a clear double standard when it comes to the genders. Ladies these days are applauded for reprehensible behavior. If she wants to date a young guy, good for her, but to leave a marriage for him? Not the sort of behavior we should be promoting.


----------



## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

lifeistooshort said:


> Right? I taught high school before becoming an actuary and those boys flirted with me all the time.
> 
> I was in my early 30's at the time.
> I found absolutely nothing appealing about those nasty kids 🤣🤣🤣


I remember when I was in middle school, we had 3 really attractive, young female teachers. One of them used to always stand in the doorway to her classroom before class started. Every day, when you tried to enter her class, because of the way she stood, you had to rub all up against her to get inside. At the time, a few of us boys talked about it and we liked it. You basically felt her breasts rub on your chest or back, however you decided to go into the class. Looking back, I know she had to have been doing that on purpose. Even so, that's how I remember her after so many years, rubbing her breasts against me every day.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Oh damn. You taught highschool?
> 
> So during the time that boys have very low control of their words and staring. 🤣
> 
> I went to an all boys high school. We had a couple of good looking women teachers in their 20's....... so yeah.


I had security stop me a few times to ask why I wasn't in class 😅

Of course I didn't look like I was in high school when they saw my face but I'm small so from a distance you could think that.

My friend and I have actually been out running recently and had someone say "oh, I saw you two coming and thought you were high school runners".

We're 47 and 49....it's our size and builds.


----------



## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

I’ll never 


lifeistooshort said:


> I had security stop me a few times to ask why I wasn't in class 😅
> 
> Of course I didn't look like I was in high school when they saw my face but I'm small so from a distance you could think that.
> 
> ...


I’ll never claim to understand what it’s like to be a woman and have boys ogling over you constantly.

I will say this: the 20 something year olds that worked at my highschool were fawned over CONSTANTLY by all the boys. Do you need help holding your books? Do you want me to walk you to your classroom? How about I hold this door open for you?😂. Nothing creepy or disrespectful (that I ever witnessed), but yeah… those women got constant attention. They could at least say they never lost the attention of any of the boys in their classrooms! 😂


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

That story had a few flaws. It sounds like she never married Mark as she said 'the man who would become my husband'. I also didn't get the impression she groomed him.

When I met my husband he was 18 (just shy of his 19th birthday) and he looked about 25. I thought for sure that my mother wouldn't allow me to date him as she had a two-year maximum age differential written in stone. No pimples, no braces, no cheetos and no dirty underwear. He was dirty from carrying hod for his dad, though. lol


----------



## bewilderness (Jun 11, 2013)

Their age difference is 7 years. They are both adults. He could be mature for his age and she could be immature for her age. In two years, they would both still be in their twenties. No one would bat an eye if she was 18 and he was 25.

Now ask yourself why “barely legal” porn is so popular with adult men. The power imbalance is and always has been skewed in favor of “boys will be boys.”

It’s newsworthy when a woman dates a younger man because it’s the exception rather than the rule.

The false outrage of the “But what about this!!” type questions always make me laugh because it’s way more fun to discuss anomalies than to actually acknowledge — or god forbid — address long-standing systemic issues. I like to remind people that women still needed a husband’s permission to open a credit card account IN MY LIFETIME. 😂

Frankly, there is far less outrage over true May-December romances than anyone ever acknowledges. See also: every leading man over the age of 50 being romantically paired with a 20-30 year old woman in practically every movie ever. Aging out of Hollywood is a real problem for women.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Andy thinks I looked like a roadie for Bon Jovi when I was that age.😋


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

bewilderness said:


> Their age difference is 7 years. They are both adults. He could be mature for his age and she could be immature for her age. In two years, they would both still be in their twenties. No one would bat an eye if she was 18 and he was 25.
> 
> Now ask yourself why “barely legal” porn is so popular with adult men. The power imbalance is and always has been skewed in favor of “boys will be boys.”
> 
> ...


Holy moly! I didn't even know that about credit cards!!!! When I was born, my mom couldn't get a credit card!!!!!😳


----------



## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

I have to admit that my parents had an age difference near to the one in this story. 

My father was drafted into the Navy in WWII at the age of 18. He married his high school sweetheart before leaving for overseas duty. 

While serving, his wife became pregnant by another man. He quickly divorced her. 

When he returned to his tiny hometown, he met and dated a girl 5 years younger than him. He was quite a catch for her, an all-star athlete, handsome as all get out, and a sweet loving personality. 

He worked in construction and was working out of town often. He would write her love letters in which he made up poetry.


She had made the "Grapes of Wrath" trip to California twice as a young girl with her widowed mother.

She was an all-conference basketball player and very beautiful so they were a great match. 

When she graduated from high school, they married and a year later I was born. They had 3 more great kids. They were happily married for 25 years before he died of a heart attack in his forties. 

My Mom was a great Wife (to two more men), Mother, Step-Mother, Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, and Mother-in-Law. She passed at 84 after a wonderful life.

The difference in the circumstances in this story is such that I question the ethics in what she did. Women are usually much more mature than young men their age. 

She seemed manipulative and destroyed her marriage while grooming a younger male. 

I was a teacher and coach for over 50 years. I saw circumstances where teachers (both male and female) crossed the line. I taught many beautiful female students but never even considered anything romantic with them.

It seems to be becoming more common for females to do this. For the most part, the females have been treated more gently than the males, however, that is changing as these actions are becoming more and more common.

I just thought that it was strange for this article to appear in a Women's Health publication. I applaud women for gaining their proper place in our society. 

I feel we are losing some of the positive aspects of femininity that are being destroyed with this. We need the positive aspects of both genders in our society without discrimination.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> Holy moly! I didn't even know that about credit cards!!!! When I was born, my mom couldn't get a credit card!!!!!😳


Yep, I needed my husband's permission to open a bank account after we married, to getting a credit card, to buy a car, and to start a business.

When I went down to open my business the state clerk told me that I needed a note from my husband giving me permission to have my own business. My then husband had his own business for a few years already. I was pissed. He could open a business without my permission, but I needed his permission. Forget that. I just ran my business without registering it with the state.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Yep, I needed my husband's permission to open a bank account after we married, to getting a credit card, to buy a car, and to start a business.
> 
> When I went down to open my business the state clerk told me that I needed a note from my husband giving me permission to have my own business. My then husband had his own business for a few years already. I was pissed. He could open a business without my permission, but I needed his permission. Forget that. I just ran my business without registering it with the state.


Good for you! It just blows my mind that this was still going on in the 70's!


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Honestly, I don't think it's a horrible idea for someone to require their spouse's consent when opening a credit card, taking out a business loan, etc. That goes for both sexes, though. 

If not, we shouldn't be responsible for 50% of our spouse's (often hidden) debt when divorcing.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

bobert said:


> Honestly, I don't think it's a horrible idea for someone to require their spouse's consent when opening a credit card, taking out a business loan, etc. That goes for both sexes, though.
> 
> If not, we shouldn't be responsible for 50% of our spouse's (often hidden) debt when divorcing.


I agree with this. Either both need the other's permission or neither do.

There are a lot of people who find out once it's too late that their spouse has run up huge debt in their name only. This is also wrong.


----------



## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

The story sounds like a cheap romance short story. No my cup of tea. 

I wouldn't like it either if tables were turned. 

I'm 42 and I think some men in their 30's are very attractive. I don't know if I could date a much younger guy, but I find them physically attractive.


----------



## bewilderness (Jun 11, 2013)

A drop in the bucket:









15 Movie And TV Age Gaps Between Actors That Are Really, Really Messed Up


Emmy Rossum being 17 and making out with 33-year-old Gerard Butler in <i>The Phantom of the Opera</i> is just wrong, tbh.




www.buzzfeed.com






bobert said:


> Honestly, I don't think it's a horrible idea for someone to require their spouse's consent when opening a credit card, taking out a business loan, etc. That goes for both sexes, though.
> 
> If not, we shouldn't be responsible for 50% of our spouse's (often hidden) debt when divorcing.


Weird deflection. It had literally nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with sexism. Unmarried women existed then too.


----------



## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

This is a gross story about a pathetic woman. If the genders were reversed, it would be a gross story about a pathetic man.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I am always amazed at the sheer number of self absorbed wasp narcissistic women authors they are. Not to all, when someone writes a story that says ("I have no regrets") in the title, don't date them.

She seems just as dumb as all the others. Self absorbed but not very self aware. As for him, hopefully he isn't the innocent knight in shining armor type, but more the club going player. If he is the latter she probably is the one who is going to be hurt. If he goes to college for instance, she is going to end up seeming like his Mom.

Now if you ignore the fact that this was probably at least an emotional affair, then he is young but assuming she met him at after he was 17 she didn't brake any laws, and honestly she seems have the mentality of an 18 year old too. Who knows maybe they will make it. I wouldn't bet on it.

Finally as far as how the article would be taken if the genders were reversed, I think there would be lots of women who would be giving the guy a hard time, some men, and other men would be like - well is she hot? Don't marry her whatever you do!

So I think there is no monopoly on bad reactions either way.

Who cares about all these vapid people.

At first I thought this was the article that @Thumos posted at SI, that is a more interesting one but alas I can't post there.


----------



## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

skerzoid said:


> The difference in the circumstances in this story is such that I question the ethics in what she did. Women are usually much more mature than young men their age.
> 
> She seemed manipulative and destroyed her marriage while grooming a younger male.
> 
> I was a teacher and coach for over 50 years. I saw circumstances where teachers (both male and female) crossed the line. I taught many beautiful female students but never even considered anything romantic with them.


Between your deep concern about gender fairness and this story you almost seem jealous skerzoid. Funny how you didn't say you were never attracted to any of your students, just that you would never consider anything romantic with them. It would take a lot of courage for a teacher to start dating a student after they hit adulthood. To deal with the social blowback. Some people have that courage, others don't.

This guy in the article moved across country and had every opportunity to get rid of this woman. Instead he asked her to come be with him and get married. Sounds like he knows exactly what he wants and what he's doing. And she deserves all the credit in the world for having the courage to dump an awful marriage and go be with who she really wanted.


----------

