# More Beta threads???? Here's another...



## mattyjman (Jun 6, 2012)

Stopping Bad Beta behavior (read: BAD beta behavior, not all beta behavior) is easier than you think.... Just realize it's not getting you anywhere. 

Einstein or someone smart once said that the definition of insanity is trying to achieve a result but doing the same thing over and over again. 

So, if you aren't getting what you want, you have to make the change and decide what YOU are doing isn't working. It's just that simple. 

I had this epiphany the other day, I don't recall exactly when, where, or why, but all of a sudden I asked myself if my situation was good. I asked if it was getting me anywhere. I asked why I was doing it continually with no results. 

I then asked what's the worst that could happen if I decided to grow a pair. What's the best. 

It's simply a decision. Make one. Stick with it. Move on.  

Just that simple. 

(I say this, because there are probably a lot of beta guys reading these Alpha/Beta threads wondering how to change. It's not that you have to change, it's just that you have to tap into a different part of your self. I've just provided some simple logic you can't argue or over-analyze.)

Don't over complicate it. Just don't. All of us men were born with a pair of balls. Some of us just have to realize that we can still have them and be loved at the same time. Nobody likes a castrated bull. (or something like that  )


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

mattyjman said:


> Stopping Bad Beta behavior (*read: BAD beta behavior, not all beta behavior*) is easier than you think....


Appreciate your adding this little piece of information, far too few make this distinction in their posts...giving the near term something to abhor while lifting the Alpha up. I agree with everything you said 100% 

That's a great quote by Einstein. :smthumbup:


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## mattyjman (Jun 6, 2012)

^thanks. 

It's just that sometimes we overcomplicate things. Most things in life are simply decisions, and if we stick to our guns, we can move on. It's the waffling back and forth, vascilating after a decision as been made, is very much a bad beta behavior. 

So, how do you change that... Make a decision and move on. 

It's easier said than done, but that's what it takes.


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## mattyjman (Jun 6, 2012)

does anyone want to share their own?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

mattyjman said:


> Einstein or someone smart once said that the definition of insanity is trying to achieve a result but doing the same thing over and over again.


I know! I keep telling myself this, over and over.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

I don't think a true "beta" would see a need to change.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

humanbecoming said:


> I don't think a true "beta" would see a need to change.


Very insightful. That is the basis of so many men's issues.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

humanbecoming said:


> I don't think a true "beta" would see a need to change.


There IS truth to this.....Speaking on behalf of my husband here.... I can attest to this mindset. 

He is tipped more on the







scale.... We can now look back into our past realizing where he missed it ....(it's both our faults really -I am not guiltless here).....He could have easily shaken my world a bit and got more sex out of me /more affection ( never wanted anyone else & I had a very decent sex drive to boot)... 

But his naturally passive peace-making temperament that doesn't go around rocking boats -was not helping him any. This IS a part of who he is. 

I'll never forget the day we was reading a few pages of ..."No More Mr Nice Guy" ....we established some of his issues...he agreed .... I asked him a little later...." Now that you know all of this, if you could go back in time, would you have changed... treated me LESS, pulled yourself a way, told me what for [email protected]#$%" ..... he pauses.....and he looks at me and says "NO... I still wouldn't do anything to hurt you"... I was like 

''







what am I ever to do with you , you're hopeless !!"... I didn't mean it in a bad way, but coming from the horses mouth himself, he wouldn't have changed !

In our case...it was me who woke up ... not him. But we were never anywhere close to some of the stories on this forum. He's told me he was always happy even though things were dry, we had the kids. (his words)

I prefer a man tipped more Beta, because I am tipped more the other direction and ...well... it tends to work very nicely for us. I have great Respect for my husband and the attraction is still going strong after all these years, so







.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

To me, this whole "alpha" and "beta" traits thing is so out of hand it's gotten ridiculous.... It's to the point where one person will say opening a door for your lady is alpha, another will say beta. 

I do agree with personality styles, a la Florence Littauer and others, or the more well known type "A" personality, type "B" personality (which can be broken down further into the 4 personality types)

Anyway, the rest is this COMPLACENCY.

your guy didn't become "more" of something, or "less" of something else, he just got lazy. Women do it too, but that tends to only get noticed when the sex stops. 

I firmly believe that a person CANNOT change their base personality. You can however, start making efforts to woo your spouse again, if it's IMPORTANT to you.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

If you step back and look at the Alpha/Beta/Omega thing, you will see that there are a whole lot of men that are really trying to understand their place in the world.

Life was easier to understand when we went and killed Mastadons to feed the family.

At least men are looking back to masculinity for the answers. Being gentle house plants didn't work for anyone.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

humanbecoming said:


> I do agree with personality styles, a la Florence Littauer and others, or the more well known type "A" personality, type "B" personality (which can be broken down further into the 4 personality types)
> .......
> 
> I firmly believe that a person CANNOT change their base personality. You can however, start making efforts to woo your spouse again, if it's IMPORTANT to you.




I whole heartily agree with this. There are so many different Temperament / Personality tests one can do.. did a thread on that HERE.

Not sure if the 4 you are meaning are the *Choleric*, *Melancholy*, *Sanguine* & *Phlegmatic*...

If so, this is a great breakdown of these 4 ...scroll down to middle of the page, one can read all their Notable traits, an Analysis, what they are not, their Needs, also misconceptions ..

 The 4 - Temperaments

A short little overview of each : 



> *Cholerics* are the proud alphas of our race, the forceful leaders who guide us. They are the ones who start wars and end them, they are most politicians... They are the Hero AND the Villain in most fiction, because they go out of their way to GET THINGS DONE.
> 
> They have a tendency to get set in their ways, forming opinions then refusing to change them, perhaps even veering towards irrationality all so as not to be shown that they are wrong. This is because they are all about PRIDE and STRENGTH, and being shown to be wrong is a sign of weakness.
> They love to win and hate to lose or be wrong.
> ...





> *Melancholics* are introverted pessimists. They prefer to spend their time alone, deep in thought. They tend to be inventors, scientists, artists, and the like. (Note: Not ALL inventors, scientists and artists are melancholic!!)
> They are very sensitive and emotional people. Criticism hurts them a lot, and they spend a lot of time being very moody... but they are the types to go and sob in a corner to themselves rather than scream in anger at anyone.
> 
> They tend to have unrealistically high expectations and standards. Things must be RIGHT according to their own personal idea of what's right; this leads to them arguing almost as much as cholerics would, but for different reasons. The choleric may argue to assert his superiority, but the melancholic would argue to 'set wrongs right'....
> ...





> *Phlegmatics* are quiet, calm, and generally kind. They tend to take things as they come, and often don't want much from life. They shy away from excitement in favour of a regular, predictable life; this can lead to the other temperaments finding them 'boring'. They tend to be scared by things that take them out of their comfort zone.
> 
> They are quiet and shy, because they always try to take the path of least resistance. They abhor conflict because they are terrified of it, and wish that everyone would just get along; this leads to them often WANTING to play the mediator between the more passionate temperaments (particularly the melancholic and choleric, who are prone to argue often), but they lack confidence and don't assert themselves.
> 
> They don't assert themselves because they do not want to INTRUDE. They don't want to draw attention to themselves, and they put others above themselves; they don't want to make others do things their way. This leads to them doing things like working the same job their whole life without complaints. (can read more under analysis) ..





> *Sanguines* are lively, outgoing, friendly people-people. They derive their energy from being around others, and as such have many friends and like parties. They're most alive when surrounded by friends.
> They tend to talk to strangers openly and often, and cheerily so; generally people feel comfortable with a sanguine talking to them, almost as if that sanguine has known them all their life. They have a lot of confidence, and a lively and fun way of talking.
> 
> They crave the attention of people. This leads them to often becoming performers, actors, comedians, and the like, or sometimes they just get seen as things like a 'Drama Queen', an 'Attention *****', the Life of the Party, etc. If nobody's paying attention to them, they attract attention to themselves.
> ...


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I whole heartily agree with this. There are so many different Temperament / Personality tests one can do.. did a thread on that HERE.
> 
> Not sure if the 4 you are meaning are the *Choleric*, *Melancholy*, *Sanguine* & *Phlegmatic*...
> 
> ...


Yep, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm a bit of a geek in this subject, and can prattle on for hours. To me, it's fascinating once you see how people relate to the world.


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## juicecondensation (Oct 11, 2012)

People go on about beta's like they are bad. Truth is most men are "beta". I'd say 90% of all men are beta.

Do people seriously think most men are alpha males? In a pack of gorillas(or whatever) there is *one* alpha male. 

Very few guys are true alpha males. But people water down the meaning of alpha. 

Being "beta" just means you are an average guy. Nothing wrong with that.


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