# 2 months post D-Day...



## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

And he still hasn't come home yet. He's still stationed overseas, and apart of me is happy I don't have to look him in the face right now. I still don't know what I want to do. 

Apart of me wants to make our family work..we have 2 beautiful little girls.

The other part of me wants to start my life over again.

There are bouts where I talk to him constantly..and times I cant even stand to pick up the phone. Im just really happy that fog is gone and I cans see things for what they are, and think more level headed.

Infidelity Su*ks.


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## davedenlow (Nov 1, 2011)

I'm new to all of this, so i dont know what fog really means. But i recently moved back in with my wife after being out for three weeks. She had a EA/PA with someone she works with for good amount of time. The poeple here said i should either move back in or call it quits. I also have two kids, a boy and girl 8 and 5. I want this to work for them as well. I do love her and we do have GREAT family days and then there are days when i just take the kids out because i'm mad at her.

A few years back I was fired from my job, i was a manager and very successful. But i made a mistake and wasnt given a second chance, and i know if i was given one, i would still have that great job. Thats why i'm giving her one now. I dont want to look back on this and say maybe if i gave it a shot we would all be really happy..

We went to counseling for the first time the other day. I can tell its going to be helpful, made me realize we both have issues from our past. She really opened up and the counselor said that was a step in the right path. Knowing your faults and how you are going to improve. I know it isnt going to be easy for you, because it isnt easy for me. Its easier since i moved in, so him not being with you wont help. But i do see a bright future for us, even though i know there will be ups and downs... I love her and I see a huge change in her. Maybe it is just an act because, i have only been home for almost 3 weeks. She is acting better than before, she cares more about me and i can tell she is sorry for what she did. So what if it isnt an act? Isnt it worth seeing what could come from this?

I wish the best for you, this wont be easy no matter what you choose


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

It does suck.


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

Thanks for your reply. He is in the military..so I really dont have an option to be with him right now. There are days when I wish he was home so I can figure out what I want..and there are days when Im happy I dont have to deal with him, or this situation. 

People keep telling me I cant make a decision until he gets back, that I "owe" it to our girls to try and make it work. My problem with that is I feel I already gave him 5 years. 5 years where I was dedicated and did whatever I could to make him happy (im no angel, and admit we had hard times..and I was to blame for some of them).

And I most def agree with issues form the past. I was fortunate enough to have a mother who was on top of me from day one. So when I needed counselling throughout adolescence to figure out issues..I was given the opportunity to work through them. His situation with his family, was more screwed up..and he is learning where his issues stem from. Im happy for him, but Im nervous for myself.

I dread that in 10 years something else might come up. Im young...we married when I was 20, Im now 25. A fear of mine is hey, If your gonna do this to me at 25..what happens when Im 40..or 50. And have you ever done it before. 

I dunno, Im off on a ramble..I really appreciate your insight..thanks again.


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## davedenlow (Nov 1, 2011)

well if you had the counseling and know it helped you, maybe it could help him. I also gave 8 years to my wife, so i know what you mean. Im not going to tell you what you should do, but i know i'm happy we are attempting to work things out, i dont know we will for sure. But if she keeps acting this way then yes we will. I know im not perfect, what she did was beyond wrong...but if she learns this and becomes better, I think will be worth it. Im nervous to, but the more time i spend with her and see how she is on a daily basis, the less nervous i become

I still do have my ups and downs with her, but for me its looking like its worth it. What is he doing about it? If he isnt tryin then of course there is no hope. My wife said she made all these changes, but i didnt believe her...until i moved back in. She actually more enjoyable to be around, never would have realized it if i didnt move back in. I had the mindset she did this, she messed up. Why should i care? But I have my faults to, obviously hers is worse. But now i realize she is really sorry and regrets it, so that help with us working things out. There have been a few days when i thought i would divorce her, but it passed. I know with out a doubt if she does anything close to it again shes gone. Till then i'm gonna keep my hopes high and have a positive mindset of having a great trusting faithful relationship with her. It's the only thing i can do for now. We talk about what she did and why she did when the kids are asleep and the counseling is definitely a positive move for us. I still loved my wife, even though i hated her, that's why I think i was able to think about moving back in.


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