# Dominant women and 50 Shades of Grey



## soprivate (Apr 10, 2012)

So, 

I'm not really submissive at all....In fact, I'm very close to being a feminist....However, lately I have been reading 50 Shades of Grey and man, I think I would like to try this whole submissive thing with my husband....what do you ladies think? Comments, thoughts?


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## leopardprint (Sep 10, 2012)

depends on your sex life now and what you both desire. He has to be into it as well. Is he dominant at all in bed? If so, it is a good start. If he isn't he might not be comfortable with dominating you yet. 

Being submissive in the bedroom has nothing to do with who you are outside of it! It's more about trust and relinquishing control to your partner.

I am a pretty dominant woman myself (not a feminist at all though) but in my marriage I am different. My husband is dominant in bed and always has been and I've always been submissive in bed. 

Start with baby steps! I would ask him how he feels about it all before hand.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

leopardprint said:


> depends on your sex life now and what you both desire. He has to be into it as well. Is he dominant at all in bed? If so, it is a good start. If he isn't he might not be comfortable with dominating you yet.
> 
> Being submissive in the bedroom has nothing to do with who you are outside of it! It's more about trust and relinquishing control to your partner.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

I'm a man so take what I'm going to say how you want. I know this was directed at the ladies but felt like I could contribute some points to help you here.

Yeah, the whole "Feminist" and "Sexually Submissive" are two COMPLETELY different issues. I'm assuming when you say "Feminist" you're speaking about wanting equality between men and women and the idea of gender shouldn't carry any weight on situations? In that case, you can be a sexually submissive staunch feminist. A big misperception is that submissives have no control when in fact, at the very heart of it and in the big picture, they have most of the control because it's usually the sub who sets the "rules" of what's allowed and what's not. After the rules are set, the sub then controls the boundaries through safe words etc.

Also HAVE A REALISTIC EXPECTATION for your husband and both of you. Obviously talk with him first. Read up on it together (real technique stuff, not salacious fiction LOL). Then go for it. Recognize the first few "sessions" will also be more comical and funny than hot and steamy. It requires "getting into the mode" which is usually much harder for the Dom to do.


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## teachgrl (Sep 7, 2012)

It is absolutely fun for me as long as it is only once in a while and not your entire sex life. I think that variety is the key to a great sex life. I like a lot of the 50 Shades things, but haven't had a boyfriend that was into it since college...boy do I miss him sometimes...lol


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

I bought my wife the book and although she says that it really didn't do much for her, it showed that she was taking some steps in improving her admitted LD issue. 

So even though we never have delved into the BDSM world ( and I have never even watched porn clips of it - not against it but it never turned me on), it would drive me crazy if we did anything remotely close. 

And the reason would be because it is my wife and we are enjoying each other rather than the fetish act.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

If you need an owners' manual to figure out your own vagina there's a somewhat deeper problem in play.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

I don't think being the right kind of feminist prevents you from fantasizing about submissive situations.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

If in the name of feminism you’ve been denying yourself (and your H) pleasure in the bedroom then that’s got to be the daftest notion I ever heard about feminism.

Surely it's supposed to be about more freedom for women even if it means getting tied up and chained to the bed.


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