# Sole Financial Contributor and sole problem solver - Frustration and repressed anger



## Ryko (9 mo ago)

Hi Everyone,

I apologise for this will be a bit of a venting post as much as a reach for advice.

A bit of background:
I've been in a relationship with my partner for now 5 years. We are both 30 years old.
When I first met her, she told me about being a model and looking to break into acting.
She told me she had studied law but simply left uni when she figured out what her passion was and that she was looking to continue her acting formation further. This is something that really caught my attention as I'm a very entrepreneurial and ambitious person and have a lot of respect for people with high aspirations that work hard to achieve them.

Very quickly within our relationship, it became clear that she was absolutely broke, with no familiar support from her parents (unfortunately her father passed when she was young and her mother is also unemployed) and she proceeded to make several claims that I was supposed to pay for everything as I was the "man in the relationship". 
She even proceeded to insult and demean me (even going on to trash talk about me with her friends) as I was suggesting her paying for her stuff (more specifically the issue was raised as we had just met and I invited her to join me on a trip and asked her if she could contribute at all to the budgeting, and if so how much)
I should have taken this as an enormous red flag, and to a very large degree I did and tried breaking it off with her.

Unfortunately, I was very much in love with many other aspects of her at the time, and after she profusely apologised and assured me that she was just under a lot of pressure and that she didn't actually think like that, I gave her another chance. Little did I know that this would proceed to become a pattern.

5 years on she has never found a job aside from the occasional modelling job and I have funded her livelihood 100%. 
Every time I hinted to her that she should be independent and should want to have a career for her own sake I just ended up being verbally abused again and essentially been told I'm not a man and that she could find someone to pay for all her stuff without effort.

I'm even embarrassed to say this as I'm absolutely not someone easily demeaned or threatened/coerced into situations, and yet somehow here I am, still.
I do not know what to do.

A couple years ago I tried taking a constructive approach thinking maybe she got in a spiral and didn't know how to ask for help and started suggesting she goes back to studying something and that I would pay for her studies.
This resulted in her spending 2 weeks supposedly "thinking about what she wanted to do", and then starting to cry desperately telling me how she doesn't want to study anything, or work.
She then proceeds to compare herself with some of her model friends that are fully maintained by their partners, and how some of them have less money than me, and how I should hence do the same.

Although this might be accurate, I'm enormously angered by the suggestion that my personal wealth that I built by breaking my back through my late teens and early 20s, studying, investing and building small businesses has anything to do with her and that she feels free to somehow extend a claim to even 1$.

More recently it seemed like she was finally progressing and starting to take onboard the idea of studying something and she proceeded to do what she always does:
place the load on me, and essentially demand I find something for her to study by whining and asking I "help her". (except helping her means I have to do the research and then she complains about my opinion)
Essentially the predicate is that because I am the one that wants her to work, then I'm the one that has to sort it out.

This has been the second problematic aspect of our relationship as she NEVER EVER solves anything herself, she just presents me the problem and expects me to solve it (even going as far as handing me her emails to write stating my english is "better" and she "doesn't know how to be professional"); completely disregarding the fact that I have my own life and problems to tend to and I am also the only one carrying the whole weight of our relationship and her financial burden.

Anyhow, at some point I suggested she partake in a stellar coding bootcamp that my brother attended when trying to start a career into tech without any relevant experience.
She first dismissed the idea and said "I'd hate working in an office, I'd never do it"; which, although understandable, just seemed enormously entitled to me. Especially coming from a person with no skillset and no means being offered the opportunity to enter a very desirable professional environment.

After a lot more time wasting and asking what she should do, I reiterated my opinion: "if you want a career that pays relatively well by studying a relatively small amount of time, my opinion are your possibilities are tech, finance, economics".
After some more time pondering, she came to the conclusion that tech was indeed an option. (although she shifted from "i hate this" to "it's not too bad but I'll never enjoy it", back to " i hate this" and back again a million times)
I know the reason she chose this path is because a good coding bootcamp has relatively low bar of entry and only takes place over a couple months after which you are ready for a junior position in the workforce, but I didn't really care too much for her reasons as I was already very happy with her showing at least a bit of initiative and doing SOMETHING.

I hence paid for this 7000£ course for her, which has been the start of another nightmare.

She had to take a 40 hour pre-course, which she started criticising and shouting to me about for hours and hours on end even though I was even doing the prep-work with her to help her. Her qualms being that it was poor material and this course was terrible. (Bear in mind this is THE best available coding bootcamp in the world, has THOUSANDS of reviews from past students which are all excellent. Quite literally it has 2 bad reviews out of something like 5000 available online, and an average score of 4.99/5......my own brother has taken the course and loved it. Two years after taking it he's a contractor making well into the six digits with no prior experience....... and If this wasn't enough I DID THE PREP WORK WITH HER, and found it was perfectly suitable and well put together)
It is now day 2 of the course and she has done nothing but shout at me, accused me of "grooming her" into taking the course and that she "absolutely hates it"....that "it's actually worse than torture".

I am now at a place I have never been before.
I am frankly desperate.... I look at my life and the amount of negativity she has brought into it in the last 5 years and I cannot believe I let this happen.
I have invested so much in this relationship and feel so stupid. I look at myself and see I'm a shadow of myself. I essentially live in function of her.
I used to be a guy that would train 2 times a day, take care of his work punctually and have a very healthy social life.

I now feel enormously unproductive most of the time because of the sheer load of emotional problems that she dumps on me routinely and because of the pressure of being the only provider I live in constant fear of not earning enough. I have earned well into the 7 digits this past year and yet I cannot help myself in even buying myself a present.
I can't keep a healthy work-out routine as half the days I waste the little amount of energy and time i have left arguing and feel completely depleted afterwards.

I woke up today with a horrible migraine, didn't want to get out of bed and spent most of my day watching the phone trying to stop her from complaining.
I'm so terrorised by the idea of her being in a bad mood and being somehow guilty of itthat I ended up running to the grocery store to buy ingredients to prepare her a nice dinner and she first came back thanking me for the support, just to switch on me 20 minutes after dinner was over and starting again a 90 min complaint session.

And I am just SO ANGRY. I cannot understand how a person can feel ok complaining to a guy that has been funding your life for 5 years like he was your father and that is paying you a very expensive course for your own future while there are people breaking their backs for a scholarship.

What should I do? I know I'm in a terribly toxic relationship but I can't seem to let go and I just can't solve the puzzle.
I am so, so upset all the time.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

So, you're both 30, I saw no mention of marriage or kids. Neither one of you is going to become someone else, so your options are:
1. Stay miserable 
or
2. Break up with her. 

That's it! 

Why can't you seem to let go? Is it because she's a model? Is there a large disparity in your looks? If so, she expects to be given the trophy treatment.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

You're her sugar daddy and that's what she wants.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

TXTrini said:


> So, you're both 30, I saw no mention of marriage or kids. Neither one of you is going to become someone else, so your options are:
> 1. Stay miserable
> or
> 2. Break up with her.
> ...


Thanks for the Reply TX, very much appreciated.
We are indeed not married, and definitely we have no kids. I do not have any kind of legal or financial impediment that prevents me from leaving. It is just an emotional one.

It's definitely not because of a looks disparity, we are both very good looking people and most people, including her, suggest I'm the better looking one when compared to the average.
If I had to pinpoint one reason I think it's the amount of time, and financial and emotional effort i sunk in the relationship. Letting go just feels like a total failure which is something I always struggled with.
I have no experience of being a parent, but i suppose that to a much smaller degree it's the same kind of relationship as I have essentially been her guardian for 5 years, and just cutting ties makes me feel awfully empty.

Besides that, although I am very upset a lot of the time, there are also moments of very deep care and love between us which I cherish, and I have been very very happy at times with her.

I know you are right, no magic solutions I suppose.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

She is using you. Toss her. You can do better.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You're her sugar daddy and that's what she wants.


lol

Although I acknowledge that's what might transpire from my message, it has nothing to do with a sugar daddy type of situation.
I know a lot of people that have trophy partners and their relationship looks nothing like ours.

She's lazy and doesn't want to work but she doesn't get an allowance from me, she doesn't expect me to shower her in expensive presents, and she doesn't go around swiping my cc left and right at her whim.

She's entitled, but I'm not a cash splasher and would make a very poor sugar daddy for anyone.
My money stays invested and I carry relatively little as disposable cash and live way below my actual means.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

You make well into the 7 digits??? Why in the world don't you just pay an escort to be with you for half of the week every week? 🤣

Your wife is self entitled and stuck in princess mode. She will never have a successful career and has no reason to try when she can get you to support her. And while she isn't old, the door to having a successful modeling career is just about shut. Its about as likely to happen as a 30 year old guy making the roster for an NFL team. Sure, some will be able to make the team, but most won't 

Forget counseling or trying to reason with a person like this. Just dump her before she becomes pregnant, or you are on the hook for spousal support when she decides to leave you. But seriously, why do you want to fight for her?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

She’s not going to change — not for the better anyway — so obviously it’s up to you how much time and energy and money you want to waste on her.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ryko said:


> lol
> 
> Although I acknowledge that's what might transpire from my message, it has nothing to do with a sugar daddy type of situation.
> Being part of a very fortunate cohort of society, I know a lot of people that have trophy partners and their relationship looks nothing like ours.
> ...


Well she doesn't have any ambitions despite what she's been telling you and she is not about to launch a model or actress career at age 30. If she has anything going with that now it won't be going long and I would bet that all she's doing is conventions and crap like that. 

If you're not feeding her how is she eating? If you're not paying the bills and the roof over your head how is she living? Does she have a car? Did she pay for it?

I mean you may not have any problem with this but I'm assuming since you came on to this board that you do. 

She straight up told you she didn't want to work.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

If you marry her, this will only get worse.

You fear letting go because she is familiar, and letting go of the familiar is always very hard. Almost like tearing flesh, because you have been together for five years. The fear of the great unknown. That's what holds you back, I think.

When the pain of not leaving her becomes greater than the thought of leaving her, you'll eventually leave. 

And perhaps seek some one-on-one counseling for yourself because there is a reason why you allow this abuse (and that's what it is) to go on with her. That is what will keep you from allowing this to happen to you again.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

Ryko said:


> Thanks for the Reply TX, very much appreciated.
> We are indeed not married, and definitely we have no kids. I do not have any kind of legal or financial impediment that prevents me from leaving. It is just an emotional one.
> 
> It's definitely not because of a looks disparity, we are both very good looking people and most people, including her, suggest I'm the better looking one when compared to the average.
> ...


I get that, I also struggled with leaving when it was necessary, for that same reason. However, that stubbornness is only going to cost you more heartache.

You're a smart guy, I'm sure you know all about the sunken cost fallacy. Don't let that stop you from missing out on your life. You have so much living to do to settle like this. It sounds like you have lots of options, so it's not like you're afraid of being alone. Invest in you instead, that'll reap a better ROI than a bottomless hole. (Pun intended)

Save your love for people who show you love, it's that simple at the end of the day. Your action (or lack thereof) is only fueling her complacency. Quite frankly, you sound more like her daddy than her lover, adulting for her. Does that sound hot to you?

I'm really sorry, but sometimes there are no easy answers. It's pretty much pick your poison, slow death or short-term pain for long-term gain.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Ryko said:


> If I had to pinpoint one reason I think it's the amount of time, and financial and emotional effort i sunk in the relationship. Letting go just feels like a total failure which is something I always struggled with.


If you had a business that was a complete failure, would you keep throwing money at it? Or would you just close it down, learn from your mistakes, and then start a new business using what you learned from the failure to do better?

You will never change her. What you see is what you get. The relationship you have right now is the best it will ever be. A bad relationship only gets worse over time. You are young, the age of my son. You have so much life ahead of you. Don't waste it on such a dysfunctional relationship.


Ryko said:


> I have no experience of being a parent, but i suppose that to a much smaller degree it's the same kind of relationship as I have essentially been her guardian for 5 years, and just cutting ties makes me feel awfully empty.


You know what a good parent does with a 20/30-something that won't get a job and lives at home? They kick the child out so that they grow up.

You might feel badly for a while if you break up with her. But you are also feeling very badly now and have been for a long time. The difference is that the situation you are in now will only get worse. If you break up, you might feel bad/empty for a while. But you will be free to date other women and find someone who has a character that you can respect and love.



Ryko said:


> Besides that, although I am very upset a lot of the time, there are also moments of very deep care and love between us which I cherish, and I have been very very happy at times with her.


From what you posted; she is abusive of you. Her putting you down when you ask her to get a job, or training, etc. is abuse. 

Just think, you could find a relationship with a woman with high aspirations who works hard to achieve them. And you could also have all the deep care and love with her.

The purpose of dating is to find out if a person is a good match for a long-term relationship (or marriage). When you find out that the person you are dating has a serious flaw, is abusive, etc. a smart person ends the relationship and stops wasting their life on a bad match.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Ryko said:


> just ended up being verbally abused again and essentially been told I'm not a man and that she could find someone to pay for all her stuff without effort.


Let her go find someone. She sees you as an ATM to fund what SHE wants to do, not what you both want. A few modeling jobs in 5 years is NOT a career -- it's a hobby. 
She needs to get a REAL job -- it's ok if it's flexible enough to model when she gets a gig, but a REAL JOB.

She is SUPER entitled, very much a user, and is emotionally abusing you.
The next time she starts yelling at you do this: YELL BACK. Tell her to STFU. Ask her is she so lame that she can't take a course? Get angry BACK. STOP taking this abuse.
Yes you wasted 5 years of your life, so don't waste any more on her.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Ryko said:


> She's lazy and doesn't want to work but she doesn't get an allowance from me, she doesn't expect me to shower her in expensive presents, and she doesn't go around swiping my cc left and right at her whim.


From what you have said, she had no money of her own. So how does she pay for things liek her food, her clothing, cosmetics, etc?

Does she do housework, cook, grocery shopping?

Since she had no job, how does she spend her time?

How many hours a week do you work?


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Well she doesn't have any ambitions despite what she's been telling you and she is not about to launch a model or actress career at age 30. If she has anything going with that now it won't be going long and I would bet that all she's doing is conventions and crap like that.
> 
> If you're not feeding her how is she eating? If you're not paying the bills and the roof over your head how is she living? Does she have a car? Did she pay for it?
> 
> ...


Thanks Down, I'm not trying to argue against my initial point; i have an enormous issue with her behaviour.
I just wanted to clarify that as far as entitled goes it isn't that kind of deal. 
I didn't present myself as her sugar daddy, I didn't meet her and started buying her expensive gifts to get her attention, nor does she have free access to my money.

I only specified because many many guys in my social circle initiate these kinds of relationships because they have a lot of disposable income, and unfortunately many of their partners are also friends with my girlfriend which I suppose also feeds her impression that what she gets from me after all ain't that much.

I pay everything in our lives but we live together, she goes do the grocery shopping and has an amex linked to my account for household expenses but she never ever dreamt of using it to buy herself an expensive present, and the times she does get a gig she does send the earnings straight to my account. 
She isn't financially illiterate which seems to be the case for the majority of financial issues in marriages.
She doesn't splurge on anything and always tries to save when she can.
Even things which are quite standard like manicures she just does herself so that I don't have to pay for it.
I suppose these are the kinds of things that gave me hope that she would "get it" at some point.

And yes, we are both well aware her modelling career is pretty much in the past, although she does high end commercial modelling here in London which still pays well on occasion. (one very good gig can pay her 5-10k$ for a few days and a standard shoot will pay her 300 bucks a day) Unfortunately, they are not an ordinary occurrence at all.

I'm not sure what would happen if I didn't sustain her. I suppose she'd return to Brazil and go back home to her mom and brother.
But either way, it's semantics; indeed she told me she didn't want to work but I thought at some point it would click that this isn't a fair option.

Clearly, I was wrong.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Ryko said:


> I'm not sure what would happen if I didn't sustain her.


She'd find another guy just like you, to do all the things you're doing for her. Love shouldn't feel like this. Love shouldn't give you migraines, and abuse you. That's not love at all. You may love her, but I fear that your relationship has been one-sided for a while, from the sounds of it.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> Let her go find someone. She sees you as an ATM to fund what SHE wants to do, not what you both want. A few modeling jobs in 5 years is NOT a career -- it's a hobby.
> She needs to get a REAL job -- it's ok if it's flexible enough to model when she gets a gig, but a REAL JOB.
> 
> She is SUPER entitled, very much a user, and is emotionally abusing you.
> ...


Thanks jlg, appreciate the time.

I agree with everything.

I do suppose maybe I put out the wrong impression, about me, at least. I'm not really a little sheep.
I do shout, a lot. I'm surely the more aggressive of the two and I absolutely lose it when she complains.
I can't take the whining anymore and I actually struggle keeping my poise when she does.

Anyhow, I suppose I gotta do what I gotta do.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

EleGirl said:


> From what you have said, she had no money of her own. So how does she pay for things liek her food, her clothing, cosmetics, etc?
> 
> Does she do housework, cook, grocery shopping?
> 
> ...


Hey Ele,

She doesn't. She has my cards and I pay. 
She does her best to save and doesn't buy expensive things even though I could afford them, but that's the extent of the effort.

She did start to cook and do the housework in the last couple years but it was a consequence of me stopping. I used to be a very very precise person so I would do everything myself at the beginning of the relationship but because I couldn't stand the idea that I was paying for everything AND cooking AND cleaning after myself AND doing the shopping I kind of shoehorned her in doing it.

Now she does all the deep cleaning, and most of the cooking. But I am a very tidy person so it's not like I leave a lot for her to do anyway. I also am always dieting so my food takes literally 10 minutes to make.

Her time is spent going to the gym, watching movies, chatting with friends, took a couple theatre courses here and there and then just spends time with me.
I work pretty much all the time, I have a full time job in real estate development, but I also have a considerable investment portfolio that requires full time management, and I advise startup ventures on the side. The catch is that I work most of the time either from home or from my phone so actually spend a lot of time with her.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

5 years isn't that long to have wasted. Do you want to waste 5 more? Or 10?
Your life with her sounds awful, surely you know what do do? The answer is obvious. 

How did she manage before you came along?


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

Diana7 said:


> 5 years isn't that long to have wasted. Do you want to waste 5 more? Or 10?
> Your life with her sounds awful, surely you know what do do? The answer is obvious.
> 
> How did she manage before you came along?


She was home in Brazil before she met me, and she was "studying" so her mom, and her stepfather helped with the base expenses.
She also was younger and of course had more jobs and money saved up, but she pretty much ran through it coming over to the UK on a long holiday, which is when we met and she decided to stay.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Ryko said:


> Hi Everyone,
> 
> I apologise for this will be a bit of a venting post as much as a reach for advice.
> 
> ...


WOW just WOW, you are so young and so driven and she is basically a leech. it will be difficult but it is time to cut her off, finish your relationship, looks like if you stay, she will never take responsibility for herself. Time to cut the strings and tell her to fend for herself. If you are so inclined tell her to get a bloody job any job, in the coffee house where ever but you are no longer taking care of her.
Get yourself into counselling to see why you are putting up with this crap for so long.
Start laying down boundaries. Pounds7k is a lot of money to fork out for a course which she does not seem to appreciate at all.
Tell her she needs to stop with all the crap. get her act together as you have no intention of being her financier for the next 10 years. if she doesn't like it she knows what to do.
Make her get any kind of job, she is not a princess. She will soon realize how difficult it is to earn money and it may incentivize her to get off her butt.
Was she spoilt by her parents? The sense of entitlement is huge.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Ryko said:


> Thanks Down, I'm not trying to argue against my initial point; i have an enormous issue with her behaviour.
> I just wanted to clarify that as far as entitled goes it isn't that kind of deal.
> I didn't present myself as her sugar daddy, I didn't meet her and started buying her expensive gifts to get her attention, nor does she have free access to my money.
> 
> ...


You also must consider culture in Asian and South American countries. Women who get a fairly well off man are inclined to expect him to support her. I guess the thought of her leaving Uk is what is holding you back. Does she have a PR in the UK, can she freely apply for jobs? has she any sort of education? Could she teach language classes, e.g Portugese, etc. I believe you are not looking for someone who earns the same as you but someone who aspires to do something with their life rather than be at home.
Are kids in your future, would you expect wifey to work and have kids? These are fundamental differences that must be discussed and resolved now otherwise it is time to get out.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ryko said:


> She was home in Brazil before she met me, and she was "studying" so her mom, and her stepfather helped with the base expenses.
> She also was younger and of course had more jobs and money saved up, but she pretty much ran through it coming over to the UK on a long holiday, which is when we met and she decided to stay.


So she has never supported or provided for herself.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

You always say yes to everything and you are a doormat. She has no respect for you and you are enabling her. I think it's time for a good talk.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You're her sugar daddy and that's what she wants.


OP, and apparently you want to stay her sugar daddy. I mean, you're still with her. Wtf. Simple. Things won't change until you change this.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Ryko said:


> What should I do? I know I'm in a terribly toxic relationship but I can't seem to let go and I just can't solve the puzzle.
> I am so, so upset all the time.


You know exactly what to do, you just don't want to. She's a pretty girl & you are the ATM. You pay for the privilege of having her in your life. You pay with money, time & energy. When she drains enough of them out of you hen you will finally have the gumption to end this.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Ryko said:


> What should I do?


This is easy. She is a user and abuser. You aren't married, leave. kick her to the curb. It is where her entitled ass belongs.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Ryko said:


> Thanks for the Reply TX, very much appreciated.
> We are indeed not married, and definitely we have no kids. I do not have any kind of legal or financial impediment that prevents me from leaving. It is just an emotional one.
> 
> It's definitely not because of a looks disparity, we are both very good looking people and most people, including her, suggest I'm the better looking one when compared to the average.
> ...


Ever hear of the sunk cost fallacy? Yes you've invested a lot into the relationship, but it isn't working and 5 years is more than enough time to see if anything would get better. It hasn't, so why keep investing more in this losing relationship? It sounds like it would be much more beneficial to give it up and move on.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

BigDaddyNY said:


> This is easy. She is a user and abuser. You aren't married, leave. kick her to the curb. It is where her entitled ass belongs.


You can date her, but you don't have to be responsible for her whole life.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

In Absentia said:


> You always say yes to everything and you are a doormat. She has no respect for you and you are enabling her. I think it's time for a good talk.


I’m sorry but this is not the case at all.
i don’t always say yes to everything.
I decide nearly everything myself and she has almost no bargaining power because I am the only one with money. 

I have never really “enabled her” either, since the very beginning anytime she would voice this entitlement I’d get extremely aggressive and call her out, which is one of the problems as I have a very short temper.

I never ever acted ok with it, i simply never kicked her out because as simple as it may sound it isn’t simple at all.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I would also just add that even though ryko thinks this is not a sugar daddy arrangement because he's not buying her expensive gifts, he is fully supporting her in a way that is probably unheard of where she comes from. Models marry money. I'm sure you've seen some of the absurd matches since you live in London where older models will marry anyone with money. I could name names but I won't. She seems entrenched in the idea that she should not have to work and is going to live off her looks, and I agree that she will simply replace you if things become difficult. If you want someone to raise a family with this is not your girl.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Yep this is so obvious. These arrangements are made all the time the pretty girl lives off the guy. He feels he has the power and controls the situation. And he does until they end their arrangement and she finds the next one to live off of.

OP she isn't going to get a job or be productive. That is not the role she sees for herself. You've let her be this way for 5 years and yes she could replace you in a heart beat just as you could replace her.

I suggest since you don't want a pretty princess whose only job is to look pretty you break up with her. Stop trying to change her into something she is not.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Ryko said:


> i simply never kicked her out because as simple as it may sound it isn’t simple at all.


Simple isn't the same as easy. Your answer here is truly very simple. It is not, however, easy.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Ryko, I don't know what you were expecting from life as a man but really beautiful women almost always cost money. At best you're probably going to get someone like your girlfriend, who isn't demanding expensive things but still wants you to cover a lot of her living expenses.

If you can't handle the stress of being the sole provider and leader in the relationship then you probably need to find a well educated, princess Anne type who will compliment your income and not expect you to make any decisions for her. 

For you, I would recommend finding one with kids already and a well off sperm donor in the picture, because a lot of times the princess Anne types decide they want to quit their jobs for a while and have kids. Then you'll be worse off than you are now, with more than one person to support and looking at that princess Anne face every morning when you roll over.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

gaius said:


> Ryko, I don't know what you were expecting from life as a man but really beautiful women almost always cost money. At best you're probably going to get someone like your girlfriend, who isn't demanding expensive things but still wants you to cover a lot of her living expenses.
> 
> If you can't handle the stress of being the sole provider and leader in the relationship then you probably need to find a well educated, princess Anne type who will compliment your income and not expect you to make any decisions for her.
> 
> For you, I would recommend finding one with kids already and a well off sperm donor in the picture, because a lot of times the princess Anne types decide they want to quit their jobs for a while and have kids. Then you'll be worse off than you are now, with more than one person to support and looking at that princess Anne face every morning when you roll over.


Frankly speaking buddy, your reply is embarrassingly ignorant and sexist.

There’s plenty formidable women who are also beautiful, starting from the assumption that if one makes any kind of income or is in any way independent they must be ugly is some of the stupidest stuff I’ve ever heard in my life.

I know plenty who are both.

I’d have no problem at all with being the sole provider in case of necessity such as illness, accidents, particular needs for your children etc; the issue here is the unwillingness to even make an effort in being in any way independent.

I’ve stated several times that the issue is not financial. I’d happily spend much MORE on her than I do now if she earned her own money. I don’t even need her to contribute, I just need to know that if I end up in an accident tomorrow and can’t work we won’t end up broke out of her total unwillingness to work. 
Doesn’t seem to me like a crazy expectation even “as a man”.

I’m frankly not really sure where to place your suggestion as it’s stupid on so many levels I wouldn’t even know where to start.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

gaius said:


> Ryko, I don't know what you were expecting from life as a man but really beautiful women almost always cost money. At best you're probably going to get someone like your girlfriend, who isn't demanding expensive things but still wants you to cover a lot of her living expenses.
> 
> If you can't handle the stress of being the sole provider and leader in the relationship then you probably need to find a well educated, princess Anne type who will compliment your income and not expect you to make any decisions for her.
> 
> For you, I would recommend finding one with kids already and a well off sperm donor in the picture, because a lot of times the princess Anne types decide they want to quit their jobs for a while and have kids. Then you'll be worse off than you are now, with more than one person to support and looking at that princess Anne face every morning when you roll over.


I'm not sure I've seen a more disgusting and sexist post than this one. Most of it is all horrible and you are obviously a woman hater. 

So much is wrong with what you've said, but I'll cover that last part. A woman that quits her W2 job to stay at home, raise her children and take care of the household is still working and contributing to the family. 

I sure hope you aren't married, and if you are I pity her, because it is apparent you would hate her too.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

Ryko said:


> Frankly speaking buddy, your reply is embarrassingly ignorant and sexist.
> 
> There’s plenty formidable women who are also beautiful, starting from the assumption that if one makes any kind of income or is in any way independent they must be ugly is some of the stupidest stuff I’ve ever heard in my life.
> 
> ...


So then go find a beautiful formidable woman to be with. It is obvious this woman doesn't want to be independent or work on her own. She is making it clear with every action she has taken in the last 5 years.

There are plenty of independent women. You would end up broke if you couldn't work tomorrow. But that would also be on you. How could you have a successful business and no plan for an accident? Depending on someone who is completely undependable isn't a great plan. FYI if you had an accident and couldn't still pay the bills she would leave you.

What do you have against finding a quality woman?


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> So then go find a beautiful formidable woman to be with. It is obvious this woman doesn't want to be independent or work on her own. She is making it clear with every action she has taken in the last 5 years.
> 
> There are plenty of independent women. You would end up broke if you couldn't work tomorrow. But that would also be on you. How could you have a successful business and no plan for an accident? Depending on someone who is completely undependable isn't a great plan. FYI if you had an accident and couldn't still pay the bills she would leave you.
> 
> What do you have against finding a quality woman?


Absolutely nothing. As I premised our whole relationship was born out of the predicate she presented me which was that she was a hungry and ambitious woman that decided to chase a dream against all odds. 

I definitely made a mistake by not breaking it up when the first flags started coming up, but she had just left her country where she had lived her whole life and was coming out an abusive relationship so when she stated that she absolutely wanted to pull her weight and was just under a lot of stress I gave her the benefit of the doubt. 

It’s 100% my mistake, and I own up to it.

Regarding planning for an accident, you can create favorable circumstances and try to limit the damage but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t control the economy, and I’m 30 years old. There’s a long way from here to being dead, if I can’t work anymore my money won’t make it all the way regardless of what I do or how many contingencies I put in place.
Even worse if we had children.

But anyway, these are semantics. You are probably right on everything else.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

Ryko said:


> Frankly speaking buddy, your reply is embarrassingly ignorant and sexist.
> 
> There’s plenty formidable women who are also beautiful, starting from the assumption that if one makes any kind of income or is in any way independent they must be ugly is some of the stupidest stuff I’ve ever heard in my life.
> 
> ...


Why don't you name some formidable, high end model caliber women who also earn a ton of money and don't stress out their boyfriends Ryko. I can think of one, Giselle Bundchen, and if you read Tom Brady's emails he's under more pressure with her than you are. And he's Tom Brady. You're just Ryko.

You might not like the idea that you personally are unable to handle what men have handled for generations, and other men might not like the idea their wives aren't models, but men used to ride the rails to keep their wives and kids from starving, and you are apparently rolling up in a ball because you have to support your girlfriend on a 6-7 figure income. But that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. Your situation is your own.

But you should understand that you're the one with unrealistic expectations while your girlfriend seems to know exactly what she's talking about.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I'm not sure I've seen a more disgusting and sexist post than this one. Most of it is all horrible and you are obviously a woman hater.
> 
> So much is wrong with what you've said, but I'll cover that last part. A woman that quits her W2 job to stay at home, raise her children and take care of the household is still working and contributing to the family.
> 
> I sure hope you aren't married, and if you are I pity her, because it is apparent you would hate her too.


As much as I love reading through white knight, likebait drivel none of what you said really applies to Ryko's situation. Because he's looking for a woman who contributes by making money and not stressing him out by forcing him to make decisions. Not by staying home and taking care of the kids.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

gaius said:


> As much as I love reading through white knight, likebait drivel none of what you said really applies to Ryko's situation. Because he's looking for a woman who contributes by making money and not stressing him out by forcing him to make decisions. Not by staying home and taking care of the kids.


Then why did you bring up a wife quitting work and having kids?


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Then why did you bring up a wife quitting work and having kids?


Because he's off in outer space with his expectations. And he needs to understand that even if he gets a well educated, high income woman she might quit her job and have kids. And then the exact things he's complaining about now will come back into his life x2.

I am married, to a former cheerleader/hooters hostess who went on to get her PhD. Guess what, she's occasionally costed me money and added stress to my life. And it's been the best investment I've ever made, having her with me. All the good things she adds to my life that this guy is taking for granted. Welcome to growing up and being a man.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Ryko said:


> Frankly speaking buddy, your reply is embarrassingly ignorant and sexist.
> 
> There’s plenty formidable women who are also beautiful, starting from the assumption that if one makes any kind of income or is in any way independent they must be ugly is some of the stupidest stuff I’ve ever heard in my life.
> 
> ...


The fact you're counting on her if you're in an accident is a lapse in judgement ol buddy. 

Kind of like your answer. A bit leaky.

As you say you'd happily spend more on her if she had any job at all is a concept to explore. So, deduct her future imaginary income from what you'd happily spend budget of more and embrace your situation. Win win. No more arguements.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Ryko

How would you react to it if she were to do significant charity work that really helped others, say helped children who were abused (or some other good cause)? I'm talking about a charity effort that she was not paid for. What about if she worked to help raise money for the charity? Would you find that acceptable?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

She doesn't like work. Kids are work and lots of it so she is not the person to have kids with in all likelihood.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

Love doesn’t resolve dysfunctional relationships, Ryko. I think you have grown accustomed to being in an emotionally abusive and dysfunctional relationship. If you marry her, the marriage will be one that is still every bit as dysfunctional. Maybe worse.

Why are you afraid to break up with her? She’s toxic and love isn’t toxic. But you fear something or you’d end this already. Once you determine that, you’ll be able to work through it.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

gaius said:


> Why don't you name some formidable, high end model caliber women who also earn a ton of money and don't stress out their boyfriends Ryko. I can think of one, Giselle Bundchen, and if you read Tom Brady's emails he's under more pressure with her than you are. And he's Tom Brady. You're just Ryko.
> 
> You might not like the idea that you personally are unable to handle what men have handled for generations, and other men might not like the idea their wives aren't models, but men used to ride the rails to keep their wives and kids from starving, and you are apparently rolling up in a ball because you have to support your girlfriend on a 6-7 figure income. But that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. Your situation is your own.
> 
> But you should understand that you're the one with unrealistic expectations while your girlfriend seems to know exactly what she's talking about.


Buddy, quite frankly you demonstrate with every single post how ignorant you are. I'd urge you to stop.

1) In no moment did I say that I wanted a woman that made a ton of money. I simply said they exist, in opposition to your very sexist stupid claim that it's either pretty or successful.

2) Never did I say that I wanted no stress. You seem to be very upset by the fact that I do not think it was fair of my girlfriend to expect her 25 year old boyfriend to maintain her, even if I have money. (perhaps because you're a frustrated dude that rationalises his unsuitability by telling himself that he is "The man" of the house? Going on a ledge here)
It's 2022 buddy, I just wanted my girlfriend to have objectives and ambitions and a degree of accountability. Stress comes for a million reasons, I simply don't want it from this specific issue.

3) To prove how idiotic you are, please pinpoint where I complain of having to support her on a 6-7 digit income. I complain of her ATTITUDE EXPECTING ME TO SUPPORT HER and being completely repulsed by the idea of working, this is very different from complaining of having to pay.
I supported my younger brother throughout all his academic career, and I supported her for five years, not 5 days, without as much as flinching.

4) Most supermodels make well into 7-8 digits and fought tooth and nail to get to the upper echelon of their professional environment. By definition this is a highly successful woman.

5) If this wasn't enough there are tons of attractive women with highly successful careers. If you can only think of Giselle bundchen that's only demonstration that you are the typical uncultured american that can't look beyond his nose. I can make you a thousand examples without even researching, from Sanna Marin (34 year old prime minister of finland), to Singers, actresses, and other media personalities like Taylor swift, Zoe Saldana, entrepreneurs like Francesca aiello, Anna Chanduvi, Emily Weiss and a gazillion others.

And, something that clearly went totally above that small head of yours, here we're talking of UPPER ECHELON success, which is something I never expected or demanded. I simply expected the DESIRE to obtain some degree of independence.

Please stop replying, or at least if you want to go on switch on the little brain you probably have and take off the red nose.
You clown.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> The fact you're counting on her if you're in an accident is a lapse in judgement ol buddy.
> 
> Kind of like your answer. A bit leaky.
> 
> As you say you'd happily spend more on her if she had any job at all is a concept to explore. So, deduct her future imaginary income from what you'd happily spend budget of more and embrace your situation. Win win. No more arguements.


Hi Ragnar,

I don't see where my answer is leaky, please elaborate.
Again, you seem to miss my whole point which isn't money. I have enough to pay everything we need.
The issue is accountability and reliability.

I expect a wife to be a partner that in case of need (say we have children and I pass away, say there is an accident, say there is a moment of financial or legal hardship), is perfectly capable of providing for herself and other dependants even without me, like I would be able to do without her.

This is the reason that if she had a career and made an effort I would be happy to spend more as I would be aware that in case of a rainy day she would be the type of person to get out of bed and contribute to the best of her abilities, even if the financial result isn't the same as mine.

I expect some effort, not a specific monetary result.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

EleGirl said:


> @Ryko
> 
> How would you react to it if she were to do significant charity work that really helped others, say helped children who were abused (or some other good cause)? I'm talking about a charity effort that she was not paid for. What about if she worked to help raise money for the charity? Would you find that acceptable?


Hi Ele, again as i said for me it's a matter of entitlement.
I supported her EXACTLY because she presented as someone that was willing to put in the work regardless of financial gain.

So a very dedicated person that works for a charity would be awesome to have, because i'd be aware that in case of need she would be willing to work for something she cares about. (herself, children, family, objectives etc)

Again, seems to me a lot of people got the wrong message. I do not expect her to earn any specific amount or I wouldn't have started dating an aspirating actress at all; I just want her to have the accountability.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Ryko said:


> Hi Ele, again as i said for me it's a matter of entitlement.
> I supported her EXACTLY because she presented as someone that was willing to put in the work regardless of financial gain.
> 
> So a very dedicated person that works for a charity would be awesome to have, because i'd be aware that in case of need she would be willing to work for something she cares about. (herself, children, family, objectives etc)
> ...


You want her to behave like a responsible, well-rounded adult human instead of a contract prostitute. 

It’s perfectly reasonable. I don’t think you’ll get it from this girl.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

If you go back to your first post in this thread you stated:

“...I just end up being verbally abused again and essentially told I’m not a man and that she could find someone to pay for all her stuff without effort.”

Keep rereading that. That is not love. That’s narcissism in action and I believe you‘re hoping this will all get resolved if she gets a job and shows some accountability. It won’t.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

It's only natural that you would want someone who has some substance. She has beauty and is demonstrating no substance whatever. The problem with that is you will get bored with her. You will run out of things to talk to her about. You will lose respect for her (I think you already have).

I know someone who was with a very sweet model for years. But all she was conversant on was cosmetics and the like. It put him and everyone else around her to sleep. She did at least work on the side as her modeling career was limited, as it usually is. 

The model culture has no doubt rubbed off on her. Models intend to make a living off their looks one way or the other, and once they are no longer employable, the culture is to marry down in attractiveness to someone with money who is willing to support them in style just because the guy can say, "I married a model." These same women start out attracting mutually attractive men, of course. It doesn't last because to keep their lifestyle and dignity, they must marry money. At least this one doesn't have children, hopefully, because it is hard for them to go from giving the kids a high lifestyle to taking that away with working wages. 

If you dump her, she will undoubtedly just find someone else with money to support her. Because she openly doesn't want to work. Call her whatever you want, trophy wife, if you think that sounds better. She's a work-averse golddigger, and that's nothing more than a high level sex worker. That's her aspiration. Marry her and you better have an ironclad prenup in place.


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

*Deidre* said:


> If you go back to your first post in this thread you stated:
> 
> “...I just end up being verbally abused again and essentially told I’m not a man and that she could find someone to pay for all her stuff without effort.”
> 
> Keep rereading that. That is not love. That’s narcissism in action and I believe you‘re hoping this will all get resolved if she gets a job and shows some accountability. It won’t.


It's not narcissism, it's just the truth. This woman is staying with a guy who complains about having to buy her groceries when she probably has a line of other guys willing to lavish her with expensive gifts. That is the very definition of love. 

And @Ryko , you can tantrum and name call all you want but you are not being honest with yourself or what you're saying. You're so upset because she's not showing ambition when you're supposedly making 7 figures? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

You are not a man who is comfortable with being the strong, masculine leader in the relationship and that's what she wants from you. And you will not dump her for the same reason. You sit there and stew instead of taking charge and getting rid of her. That's your real problem, whether you want to come to grips with it or not. 

So by all means, after another reply of tantruming and name calling, prove me wrong, dump her and go date some Nordic prime minister type. But unfortunately for you, you might discover that they're not anymore taken with your whining than she is.


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## Ryko (9 mo ago)

gaius said:


> It's not narcissism, it's just the truth. This woman is staying with a guy who complains about having to buy her groceries when she probably has a line of other guys willing to lavish her with expensive gifts. That is the very definition of love.
> 
> And @Ryko , you can tantrum and name call all you want but you are not being honest with yourself or what you're saying. You're so upset because she's not showing ambition when you're supposedly making 7 figures? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
> 
> ...


Gaius….. dude for real you should stop responding. you’re proving yourself an embarrassment to the human race with every line you write.

You embarrassed yourself, didn’t make one point that has even a semblance of logic, made sexist and ignorant remarks, overtly insulted and perpetrated ideologies worth of a 1900 chauvinist and think you can hide behind a finger by accusing me of “tantruming”.

Maybe you think that your accusations trigger me since I react to them, but they don’.
I insult you cause you’re deserving of insults for the things you say, because you tried to put out veiled insults since the first message you posted, and because quite frankly I find it enjoyable to run laps around your simpleton logic 

I’m enormously successful regardless of what you say, and I couldn’t care less of the validation of someone like you that quite clearly feels he was graced by god to even have found a woman. What a loser must you be to think like that.

I have been the sole provider for myself and my partners since I left home.
I’m perfectly comfortable in the role, hence why my partner is breaking and busting my balls with resolving all her issues. If your point made any sense she would be the one here with an issue, and instead it’s me. She never complained of our relationship and when I even hint to a breakup she desperately breaks into tears and begs, that’s how much she finds me “unsuitable as a provider”.
If you even cared to read the OP I wrote you would have found that she only complains AFTER I call her out; it’s quite evident it’s a defense mechanism to help build an excuse and justify her not working. It doesn’t fit your narrative in the slightest.

Regardless of that, I literally proved point by point how everything you put out so far has been ridiculous and instead of addressing the points you have just ignored them and decided discussing an issue that I never mentioned and was never at hand…you really just sound like an incel.

Again, the whole point of my post has nothing to do with money and income, and it went totally above your head multiple times regardless of clarification. One more time, can you not read?

But, then again, what to expect of someone with the cosmic void between his ears that suggests that because one makes money they should not wish for their partner to be independent and willing to take care of themselves.

What an absolute waste of natural resources you are; I admit I can’t help but sympathize with your wife. Wonder what a woman that worked hard for her phd would think of her husband sharing on a forum that she can’t be successful because she is too pretty, or that she’s clearly ugly cause she’s successful. (Not sure in which family you group her but I doubt she’d be happy of either one) or perhaps that she isn’t worth that much after all since you let her work at hooters and pursue a PhD in the first place?

p.s. you perpetrating the idea that to get a good looking girl you gotta pay for everything just makes you sound like a simp, it doesn’t make you sound manly.
And this is aside from being totally untrue. Trust me, I dated a lot of models and this is the first time that one shows no interest in working. Even the most overt gold diggers would still hustle and frequently escort on the side.

p.p.s. The reason I “give all this stuff for granted” is that, for me, it is. And,by the way, this stuff is what exactly? And how would you even know? is it that she’s pretty? I’m as good looking as her, and had plenty partners substantially more attractive throughout my life.
Differently from you, I didn’t go with my d in my hand until I married. I’ve had more partners than I could count and have always had no issue in finding them. She provides me nothing that isn’t ordinary for me. It only so happened that I fell in love with her.

Do yourself a favor and go back to your cave, drooling over women beyond your means offering to buy their sweaty left sock with the 5 pennies you saved up like the little pathetic loser you are. Stop ridiculing yourself trying to make a point you can’t possibly sustain.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ryko said:


> I’m sorry but this is not the case at all.
> i don’t always say yes to everything.
> I decide nearly everything myself and she has almost no bargaining power because I am the only one with money.
> 
> ...


It is simple, you just tell her that she must leave. That it's over.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Ryko said:


> I’m sorry but this is not the case at all.
> i don’t always say yes to everything.
> I decide nearly everything myself and she has almost no bargaining power because I am the only one with money.
> 
> ...


So, you've been together for 5 years, she never worked and you are paying for everything. Maybe you don't always say yes, you get angry instead, but you pay for all her stuff. And I'm wrong. You haven't managed to get this girl to do anything for 5 years, why do you think she is going to magically change? You are providing her with everything she needs and more. Of course this would be ok in some relationships, but you don't like it. You get angry. Personally, I would give it a time limit. 6 more months and then you are out. Ah, and book some anger management therapy...


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## gaius (Nov 5, 2020)

@Ryko , I hate to break it to you but if you think you're some kind of intimidating with your angry ranting, you're not. But thank you for demonstrating for the forum exactly why your girlfriend pushes you around. If you can't even come off as authoritive on an online forum I can only imagine how you handle yourself with a 30 year old model who wants to be an actress. 

Again, listen to what people are telling you, and either grow up, dump your girlfriend and start dating the Nordic prime minister types, because in your mind you're as attractive as the professional athletes they're married to, or come back to earth, grow up, grow some humility and be grateful that a woman like your girlfriend is actually interested in you. Because for what talents you've demonstrated here, you've shot way above your league with her.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

@Ryko I think I get what you are looking for. It isn't the paycheck, it is just for her to have enough passion and desire to do something so that she puts her full effort into it. My wife and I would have no problem living without her paycheck, but she is passionate about her job, loves it and works hard to be the best she can at it. And she does need to feel like she is contributing to the family and marriage. That is just the way she is. It is one of the things I love about her and find incredibly attractive. It may be what I think someone else said, she has substance. I think that is what you want.

Your GF's only passion seems to be wanting to look good. It doesn't even sound like she is putting much effort into the modeling career. What does she do all day with herself? I personally think she is a lost cause and nothing will change. That said, instead of suggesting a career that you perceive to have the best earnings potential with the least effort needed in education, suggest something that she is actually interested in. What about something like working at a cosmetics store? I assume she is skilled at making herself look good, maybe she could do that for others. I think tying to push her towards something she currently shows no interest in is going to be a waste of time.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

DownByTheRiver said:


> You're her sugar daddy and that's what she wants.


she has NO intention of working! You paid her school fees! She has nothing invested and nothing to lose!
Tell her to move out today! Tell HER to figure out how to support HERSELF!

you are harming her future by not forcing her to learn a skill that supports herself. If she hasn’t made it in modeling by 25-30 years old - odds are, she won’t make money from that source now.

she is using you… ONLY because YOU allow it. That’s on YOU. 
stop ALLOWING it!!!

take charge of YOUR future! Cut out everyone and everything that causes chaos! Out she goes! Only then will SHE make the effort to figure out how to support herself!

stop being her punching bag!!! Stop that TODAY!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

gaius said:


> Ryko, I don't know what you were expecting from life as a man but really beautiful women almost always cost money. At best you're probably going to get someone like your girlfriend, who isn't demanding expensive things but still wants you to cover a lot of her living expenses.
> 
> If you can't handle the stress of being the sole provider and leader in the relationship then you probably need to find a well educated, princess Anne type who will compliment your income and not expect you to make any decisions for her.
> 
> For you, I would recommend finding one with kids already and a well off sperm donor in the picture, because a lot of times the princess Anne types decide they want to quit their jobs for a while and have kids. Then you'll be worse off than you are now, with more than one person to support and looking at that princess Anne face every morning when you roll over.


You obviously haven't met a strong beautiful, sexy and educated woman who really doesn't need a man for anything but chooses to live her life with a man for who he is, not for what she can get from him. In fact research shows that the economic value of unpaid housework, childcare duties, etc. are valued at anywhere between US$60-80k per annum. So before you start denigrating stay at home mums, get your facts straight buddy and get yourself some knowledge. Incidentally you sound bitter.


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## Catcha128 (8 mo ago)

Is the problem finance or attitude? If finance, you should not hv a problem with 7 digit salary. If she is willing to b a stay at home partner and take care of you, cooking, cleaning, crafting - nothing wrong w that - many women did that and still doing it. Sometimes, even men. If u hv a problem with that then u don't love her enough.
But I think your problem is w her not having an ambition, a job and whining like a baby. Her having a job will not resolve the problem. She doesn't seem to have an interest and it will take a lot to change that. Just more arguments. Then she is not what you are looking for in a partner.
Like a bad business deal, cut your loses.
By the way, I don't know why u recommended tech coding that she has no passion. Maybe something in the beauty industry may help resolve things, she can be a make up artist or stylist. It won't make a lot of money but at least she has a passion, and more interest to pursue it. And if you guys end up together, a part time job is better for family management. But that's another story for another day.


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