# Triggering again.....from tv show



## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

Triggering tonight from a cheater in a simple drama show I watched. So angry right now I cannot sit still. I only see about 8 mind movies a day now. So I can somewhat get some work done at work. I have to. I was fired from last job because this caused me to not concentrate. I tried reading books and counseling sucked too"tell me how you feel about that"....nothing really works. It has been 3 1/2 years. Guessing this will never go away will it? I want to die on nights like this. I snapped at everyone tonight. Kids...wife....dog....I am at Denny's now drinking my 4th Diet Coke refill. I just do not want to vent on my family. Especially my wife. Why make two people miserable? So I come here. Wife wants me to talk about it. I don't want to talk. I don't want to tell her what I live through daily. I do not want her remorse and I don't want her sorrow and pity. There is nothing she can really do at this point. I just have to deal with it. Anyone else get shaken up by tv acting?


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## LostinMO (Jan 1, 2016)

I don't understand why you would snap at your family and not talk to them because of a tv show. Am I missing something?


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

No. So many TV shows are trashy and garbage so we don't have cable TV, HBO, Netflix, etc. We check out movies and television series from the library after they have been out for quite a while. That way we have had time to hear a lot about them in advance to know if we even want to watch them. Our method is not perfect however. We still get surprised and/disappointed every now and then because of the unexpected adulterous relationships the writers put in, but at least we aren't constantly bombarded with adultery.

More importantly, if you don't start letting your wife in, and letting her own her own feelings you and your marriage will never heal. Honest communication and vulnerability are *requirements* for a healthy marriage, not options.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*@Augusto ~ Is your current wife the one who cheated earlier in your marriage, or was it another woman from a prior marriage?

Just wanted some clarification on that!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Sorry man.

Been there and done that with some stupid shows and movies.

I had to turn into a researcher about TV and movies.

You can get pretty good at figuring out the content of most programs and movies without ever watching them.

Sometimes that means reading spoilers but I have found it a small price to pay as opposed to the gut wrenching pain of a trigger.

I have a garbage section in my mind where I immediately toss any movie or show that doesn't measure up.

I'm still unpleasantly surprised occasionally and end up triggered by a poorly thought out plot but those episodes are few and far between.

I would encourage you to share with your wife at least what triggers you.

My wife knows most of what triggers me and it really helps to have her on my side with this issue.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Augusto said:


> It has been 3 1/2 years. Guessing this will never go away will it? I want to die on nights like this. I snapped at everyone tonight. Kids...wife....dog....I am at Denny's now drinking my 4th Diet Coke refill.


A little Zoloft will take the edge off. Or similar. It works. A man my size COULD take as much as 350 or 400 mg daily. All it took is 100 for me. Just take a little edge off.

Screw counseling.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

Sorry, I know how you feel. I do the same thing. I don't even watch movies anymore. My h watches old westerns all the time & they've all got there version of the blonde tramp in them. infidelity has ruined tv & my music for me. It really sucks!


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

I immediately get nervous every time we watch a TV show or movie that has either a story line based on cheating or a suicide scene. I feel awful for my husband each time. He doesn't seem to trigger from either, but it bothers me for him.

There's also a thing going around with younger adults that they think is funny. When someone does something they think is dumb, they'll say "kill yourself". I'll often see something on facebook that says something like "if you're a man and you wear skinny jeans, you should just kill yourself".

My husband doesn't talk about things either so I have no idea if these things trigger him or not. But it triggers ME to immediately feel embarrassed and bad for him.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I hear you and I have felt your pain. 

My wife cheated on me with a bus driver. 

Do every time I saw a bus I triggered for several years.

It does get better if you allow yourself to get beyond the rage. 

Counselling could help.

And do not keep it secret from your wife. 

And go for caffeine free coke, perhaps?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

MachoMcCoy said:


> A little Zoloft will take the edge off. Or similar. It works. A man my size COULD take as much as 350 or 400 mg daily. All it took is 100 for me. Just take a little edge off.
> 
> Screw counseling.


A man your size COULD take as much as 450 or 400mg daily. 

But a man your size CAN'T take counselling?

One size does not fit all.

Counselling works for some, but not all.

Some people go for the chemical fix, some don't.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

OP... you have NINETEEN other threads regarding your wife's affair and how cr*ppy you still feel.

After this much time, I'm not sure you can ever heal from this if you stay with her.

Personally, I'd consider moving on.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I think it would be a good idea to involve your family. They will undertand you better.

They will also have a greater appreciation when dealing with other people. You're not the only one out there who is triggering.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

not good. not healthy. but i get it. cause iv'e been there.

not with the tv shows, but with the pain. long after it happened.

why do you stay?


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## Augusto (Aug 14, 2013)

See my threads from a few years ago


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Go get therapy. This is not good for you or your family. You're hurting yourself.

I'm starting therapy next week.


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