# Finally can have sex but...



## Hm2 (Mar 18, 2016)

So I was injured for a while had a few operations. Me and my wife didn't have sex for over 4 months. She would get mad and throw it in my face how horny she was and felt unwanted etc..but I physically couldn't do it. So now, we finally broke the 4+ months dry spell..but now she's holding sex over my head "your soooo not getting laid" because she's tired from taking care of our 2 year old at night because we co sleep...I've insisted many times me stop, but no. She doesn't want to. According to her it's not the toddler in our bed that's the issue. It's that I don't help enough. We've gone through this before and I'd chase her around and do anything and everything to try and get her to wanna have sex. But eventually I got tired of it and gave up. Now I don't want to try at all. It ruins my entire day when she says that she's flat out not having sex with me until "she gotten enough sleep"..like when the **** is that?! I've tried everything. Offering to just give her pleasure or tried to get her to give me oral sex or some kind of anything contact(when she's on her period), but no. Nothing. I'm masterbating in the bathroom while everyone's asleep like I'm 14..
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_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Looking2Change (Jul 24, 2016)

You NEED to get the baby OUT OF THE BED.... That is number one. I have friends that have their 7+ year olds sleeping in their beds and the husband is ready for divorce. WHY???? Because they haven't had sex in over a year. Why don't they have sex??? Because their kid is in their bed.

It is YOUR bed not your kids. If you want issues with attachment where you kid can't cope without you being around then keep up what you're doing. If you wife is using sex as a punishment that's just plain weak.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Hm2 said:


> So I was injured for a while had a few operations. Me and my wife didn't have sex for over 4 months. She would get mad and throw it in my face how horny she was and felt unwanted etc..but I physically couldn't do it. So now, we finally broke the 4+ months dry spell..but now she's holding sex over my head "your soooo not getting laid" because *she's tired from taking care of our 2 year old at night* because we co sleep...I've insisted many times me stop, but no. She doesn't want to. According to her *it's not the toddler in our bed that's the issue. It's that I don't help enough. *We've gone through this before and *I'd chase her around and do anything and everything to try and get her to wanna have sex.* But eventually I got tired of it and gave up. Now I don't want to try at all. It ruins my entire day when she says that *she's flat out not having sex with me until "she gotten enough sleep".*.like when the **** is that?!* I've tried everything.* Offering to just give her pleasure or tried to get her to give me oral sex or some kind of anything contact(when she's on her period), but no. Nothing. I'm masterbating in the bathroom while everyone's asleep like I'm 14..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Um, might be a silly question but have you tried watching your toddler for a few hours so as to allow your wife to get some rest? 

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## Hm2 (Mar 18, 2016)

I've tried and tried to get the baby out of the bed, I've also made efforts to help with the baby. All that got me was your only doing this to get laid..


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Is she right? Do you ever just watch the baby because she's your daughter and not because it'll lead to sex later on with your wife? 

Look, you're the baby's father. You have every right to decide where she sleeps and how she's raised. However, your actions towards your daughter should be done because you have her best interest in mind not because those actions will get you sex. You have to separate the two. 

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## Hm2 (Mar 18, 2016)

No she's not right. I interact with my daughter constantly, and because I love her.I get up early with her all the time and let my wife sleep until whenever she wants. I on the other hand sleep in never. I get up before the suns up all week for work, then on the weekend I get up in the morning with baby and let her sleep. If she is woken up even a minute before she intends to get up she throws a tantrum like a child. Then has no motivation to do anything all day. Which means I'm not doing anything either..or I'm doing a lot. Our daughter prefers my wife. She's a mommies girl through and through. She'll settle for me if my wife is out doing something and not home, but if she's there then she wants almost nothing to do with me. I really try my best.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It's time to start insisting on changes. The child sleeps in their own bed; you can put the child to bed. If she brings the child in after, repeat. She does not have sole say, and it is a mutual decision - you can be as unilateral as she is being, until a discussion occurs. You help with child care and housework in a reasonable way. You don't accept disrespectful remarks - you politely tell her she's wrong, or leave the room. If she continues to be disrespectful and inconsiderate, you can stop providing some of the non-necessities she takes for granted, and treat yourself instead - highlight that you will be good to yourself, but won't be good to her if she isn't good to you. If none of this happens or works, you move to another room and file for divorce. Leave as soon as you reasonably can thereafter.


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## Seppuku (Sep 22, 2010)

Children get used to a new routine pretty quickly - the way you describe your wife she seems very cynical. Complaining that you weren't able to perform, and now that you can she's acting like she doesn't want it?

It sound manipulative.

Personally I would watch the child as much as possible, help out until I am tuckered out, but don't pursue sex. At all. Ever. Tell her you're tired. Tell her you can't because you have to do xyz.

Manipulative? Maybe. But don't do it so she'll start asking for sex - do it because you want to be the best you possible. Hopefully that rubs off and she stops with the passive aggressive bs.

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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Hm2 said:


> According to her it's not the toddler in our bed that's the issue.


Ugh. For those of us who don't see the point in 'attachment parenting' (does you wife chew your kid's food for her, too?), the whole thing is just hugely unappealing.


> I'm masterbating in the bathroom while everyone's asleep like I'm 14.


You might as well BE 14 since *she* wears the pants in the family and you allow her to dictate everything you do. You married your mother.

Yet something ELSE that's hugely unappealing.

Find your spine. Then find your voice.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Hm2 said:


> I've tried and tried to get the baby out of the bed, I've also made efforts to help with the baby. All that got me was your only doing this to get laid..


You've got an excuse for everything, don't you?


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## Looking2Change (Jul 24, 2016)

Seppuku said:


> Children get used to a new routine pretty quickly - the way you describe your wife she seems very cynical. Complaining that you weren't able to perform, and now that you can she's acting like she doesn't want it?
> 
> It sound manipulative.
> 
> ...



Your User Name I'm assuming is the Japanese term for Ritual Suicide? The art of Seppuku or belly cutting.


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## Cowboy2 (Nov 12, 2013)

Grow a pair. Tell your wife sex is important to you. Or better yet, show her. Figure out how to get the Baby out of bed. If she says it's just cause you want to get laid tell her she's right.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Cowboy2 said:


> Grow a pair. Tell your wife sex is important to you. Or better yet, show her. Figure out how to get the Baby out of bed. If she says it's just cause you want to get laid tell her she's right.


*I'd highly suggest marriage or sexual counseling but someone would probably object to that on the flimsy grounds that the child absolutely could not be left with a babysitter while they attended the session!

You've got some serious psychological issues here that need to be fastly resolved!*
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