# Too young to wonder this.



## whathappens13579

Hi, my name is Joe, I'm a 17 year old with a beautiful girlfriend. I am in love with her.

We currently are long distance because she moved away. We text and talk on the phone every night and its very hard because we are so young.

I have a very disturbing question. I have looked it up everywhere on the internet and it doesnt seem to be found..

I want to know what's the point of love if when I die, I will never see this girl again. If I marry a woman, and I spend 50+ years with her.. what happens when she dies and I'm alone and thats, that. I wont ever get to see her beautiful face or hold her in my arms. she doesnt exist anymore..

I could spend my whole life with a girl and in the end, we will never be together. nothing matters.

This question is driving me too the extreme.. I think I need some sleep but being with a woman and knowing its for nothing but this life.. that does me no good. Waking up and knowing shes gone forever.. I dont think I can handle that.

Where the **** are you god, wheres your promise to us, i dont want to live in the dark. Why cant you just let us know theirs a forever. Your book means nothing to me, i want your real word. Not this symbolic ****, and the crosses and the church. I want you to tell me.


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## draconis

Live for the day, and without love what really is going to replace such a feeling.

If you don't believe in God fine, but think of today, tomorrow and the next. Love will make each and everyday better.

Now as to the question of God and the here after. If you live everyday happy and in love isn't that worth it. Now even for a betting man if there was a possibility of living forever with love would you risk the chance to lose out on it, just becaus you might not achieve it? 

draconis


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## swedish

whathappens13579 said:


> she doesnt exist anymore..


This is a strong statement. My mother passed away 15 years ago and I can tell you she isn't that far away. She's there when I struggle with parenting my own 17 year old and think back on how she handled situations. Whether it's your parents, siblings, spouse, children or other important people in your life, what you are able to give and receive from others keeps their spirit alive indefinitely no matter how long they live or your spiritual beliefs. The key is that your life is an opportunity to exist forever in either a positive or negative way for those around you, and it's up to you how much of an impact you make.


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## SageMother

You are never too young to think about these issues.

As time goes on, you will find the answers to these questions from within yourself. This is the way it has been since the beginning of time, which is why we have religion and other sources to gain comfort.

Life is a journey. On our paths we find love, and enjoy what it brings to our lives. We mourn many losses during our journey, but we tend to feel that experiencing love is worth more than living without it.

The pleasure, and pain, that found with love, and other life experiences, are part of being fully human. Trust yourself. You will find answers, and comfort, with time.


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## Chris H.

My mother has lost two husbands whom she loved very much. The first died in a car accident in his 20's. The second (my father) died from a brain tumor in his late 50's (after 30 years of marriage). I can't imagine going through the pain of losing two spouses in a lifetime, but nonetheless she is a happy woman to this day.

When you get towards the end of your life, I believe you reap what you sow. My mother is only 60 years old (not near the end of her life hopefully) but she has always been a very loving and giving person with a great personality. Because of that, she has a lot of family, mine included, who love to do things with her and spend time with her. She also has a lot of grandchildren that she enjoys getting to see, and likewise, she is their favorite person in the whole world, believe me!

Through living such a full life and being such a warm and generous person, I know that her entire world didn't revolve around my father, and I think that made coping with his death easier. She still has good support and many beautiful people and things in her life.

But was it easy for her? No, not at all. I think it's safe to say that she was probably "depressed" for the first year or two from the grief. I know from my own experience that it has gotten easier with time.

So what does all of this mean as far as an answer to your question goes?

***​ 
Your life can have more meaning than just this "one person."

You and your relationships with others can continue to inspire other people long after you or your spouse passes on.

I carry this poem in my wallet, because it's how I want to live my life, even though I'm sure I fall short on a regular basis:

*"Success" by Bessie Stanley*

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; 
who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; 
who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; 
who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; 
who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; 
who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.


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## draconis

"Winners are losers that got up to give it one more try." ~ Tommy SHaw


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## juls

"My life is better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the dance"...

The dance is what makes us die happy knowing we had a wonderful life full of love...


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## GAsoccerman

Hey Whathappened...

You are going throught eh emotional rollercoaster that is called life, and it is a long bumpy ride.

My wife and I dated 7 years...While in COllege. I was in NJ she was in Pittsburgh...so like you it was a long distance relationship, We did not have Cell phones or the internet back then, just Landline phones, so we talked all the time.

Which probably made our relationship very strong, becuase we are very solid communication wise, also very trusting.

Look at the bright side, she wants to talk to you and chat with you, she is not avoiding you. That is a great sign.

Nothing you can really do here is go day by day and if it works out then great, if not then it won't.

But all I can say is Do not worry about what she is doing, that will drive you nuts, just do your own thing, hang with your friends, enjoy life. Talk to her when you can, get together when you can.

you both may have flings over this time period, but if you keep going back to each other, it is better to get this out of the way while dating then when married.

All I can say is play it loose, enjoy your time together, if your meant to be it will work out in the end.

We dated 7 years, while living in different states, talked alot and flings happened....but now we have been married 11 years, 3 kids and a extremely strong marriage.

Best of luck kid, Ride the rollercoaster and enjoy the thrills.....But you are not doomed.

Also you ahve the joy of phone, video and e-mail sex...be creative and have fun with it.

It's a rollercoaster ride, but a very rewarding one if you do not let Jealousy get the best of you.

Remember it's a Marathon, not a sprint.


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## Russell

draconis said:


> "Winners are losers that got up to give it one more try." ~ Tommy SHaw


Of Styx, Damn Yankees... etc etc etc?

And by the way... your own personal feelings for this girl have nothing to do with God. Myself, personally... I feel there is no God. At least not as the Bible tells it. I feel there is an all powerful omnipotent being that enjoys to watch us suffer. The idea of God and Satan were man made... however the teachings in the Bible are to live by.

If you and this girl were meant to be... the two of you will find a way to be together.


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## SageMother

draconis said:


> "Winners are losers that got up to give it one more try." ~ Tommy SHaw


"A diamond is a hunk of coal that stayed on the job".....and I have no clue where I got that quote.


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## berlinlife06

Long distances are the worst! I am in a long distance relationship and it sucks! But life goes on, and you should live your everyday and not worry about death. Besides, you think what will happen to you if she dies... what if you die first? Just don't worry. It's not worth it. If you are really in love, you'll survive the separation, but you are only 17. You are both in a situation when change is a sure thing! Life changes you, and you don't have control over many things.


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## Triton

You are so in love- Marry her -then after a few years write us back. lol I just love this . lol Oh ,I forgot have a few kids too. You are 17 -what the ? I remember guys like you when I was in the service -probably don't even have your first car, etc. Man, just live and enjoy the moment. Years from now I hope you will remember her name. Rock On !


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## KevinW

Trust me on just this one thing; at 17 your mind and emotions are a raging storm, and it will be a few years before your head clears enough to reach a proper balance. You feel things at the extremes, either in one direction or the other, and religion is no exception. I could give you a great lecture on God, but I won't. Yes, We're all gonna die someday, and guess what? Women usually live a few years longer than men. Oh and here's a thought to ponder; almost all of the greatest minds in the history of Earth eventually have reached the same conclusion; the universe and all existence are an absolute impossibility without the guidance of a higher power. Oh, and when you meet a new girl, don't let the memory of that old one fester in your mind and poison the new relationship. Amen Brother.


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## loobylou22

at 17 why are you thinking of things like this???
iam not religious in the slightest i dont go to church
but that dosnt mean i dont think theres somthing else after death
after my grandpearents died who i woz extreamly close to i dont know what i was going to do never been able to see them again
but then one day i realised that they are with me everyday helping me threw everyday life they are protecting and watching out for me.
this i know because they are in my hart and thourghts everyday

thats all you need to remember people that pass away are always with you


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## GAsoccerman

Mommy, Can I ask you, WHY do you believe in your religion? which ever religion you worship.

I will give you a rebuttle to my thinking and logic.


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## draconis

GAsoccerman said:


> Mommy, Can I ask you, WHY do you believe in your religion? which ever religion you worship.
> 
> I will give you a rebuttle to my thinking and logic.


If the existance of God can be proven by science and logic would you believe?

draconis


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## GAsoccerman

Drac.... Sure as a person that believes you can never know to much or you should never stop learning or close your mind.

Mommy, Quoting the Bible is not your opinion, I wanted your opinion, not a quote from the bible.

First of all let me state I am not anti-religious or an atheiest (sp?)

I grew up a roman catholic, but I lean and favor being a deist.

What is a Deist? A person that believes in a GOD, but No formal religion, the GOD created teh Universe, and then "left it alone" to evolve to it's own conclusion.

While a youngster I was brought up in a roman catholic family, my wife and kids are roman catholics, I respect my wife for her religious beliefs and she wanted to raise our children in that faith, and I was fine with it, the children can make their own decisions on faith when they are old enough to "free think and use their free will"

Now while in College, I have studied many religions that are across this world. Way to many to list.

Most have common themes of an All powerful GOD that needs praise and worship. I think the Buhuddist (sp?) are the closest with the "cycles" of life and how the world is an ever cycle, that we feed the land as the land feeds us, etc. 

I find it a crying shame that people need to pay priests or pastors, I've seen to many wealthy pastors driving BMW's or mercedes, living in Mansions. Joel Olsten is a perfect example, he is a BILLIONAIRE...all he has done is taken peoples money. IS he closer to GOD for this? no.

The Catholic Church is the wealthiest church in the world, at one time is was a World Power. Muslims Kill people who do not believe in their faith, even different sects of the religion kill each other due to the "unpure" ****es vs Shia's

I fully believe Religion was created by man to control others, especially living here in Georgia, I am viewed as an outcast becuase we are not Southern Baptist, we are "evil catholics"

I've ben told I will be going to hell because I am not a souther baptist, more then once, I been told by catholics I am going to hell for committing what ever "sin" i did as a child...Fear mongering.

The churches of the world preach FEAR, you will go to Hell if you are not a good boy/Girl, you will Go to hell if you are not a member of our faith. People have killed over this.....for what?

Do you really think this was GOD's intentions? to create a "species" in his image that would destroy and kill each other and find ways to kill more and more.


I simply believe in a few things, there are good people in this world, there are BAd people in this world. When you Die, you Die. You become part of the cycle like the rest of the animals and plants of this world.

Why would humans go to Heaven and not Dolphins? birds? insects? just doesn't make sense.

The Bible was written by humans, it ahs been edited and changed over the years, several chapters are missing. It was also written at a time where Water would normally kill you if not boiled, so they Normally drank Beer and Wine during these time periods. Also Smoking Opium was completely normal and is to this day in the middle east, so you are talking a society that drank and was high often. History proves this.

Easter was created by the church, as was Chistmas.

Why is Christmas celebrated in December when "jesus" was proven to be born in the spring?

Why do we have easter Bunny with eggs? (another religions belief of fertility)

Traditions, religions and other celebrations have been taken over, morphed to fit one's needs. Same for the Bible.

you can pull out 10 quotes from the Bible, and I can rebuff them with 10 quotes from the bible as well.

Bottom line, religion is about controlling people, being fearful of GOD and what might happen to you. That you need to Praise GOD.

IF this GOD who is all powerful and all knowing, Why is his/Hers Self Esteem so low that it needs to be praised or woshiped? Why does GOD need a man made creation called Money?

Sure I believe in GOD, but I don't believe that god needs worship or money. I just think he wants us to be GOOD PEOPLE and take care of those around us.

Sorry for the long winded response. But hey I am an opinionated person and I love to discuss things.


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## draconis

He is saying he believes in the esistance of God but not in the bible.

Much like Washington and Jefferson.

draconis


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## Blanca

mommy22 said:


> I was more curious as to what people do believe if they choose not to believe in God. I wanted to know what people think happens to them when they die.


Im actually leaning to 'going the way of all the earth.' in other words, the body and soul (which i believe is a form of energy) breaks apart into all its molecules and becomes part of the world.


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## Blanca

GAsoccerman said:


> It was also written at a time where Water would normally kill you if not boiled, so they Normally drank Beer and Wine during these time periods. Also Smoking Opium was completely normal and is to this day in the middle east, so you are talking a society that drank and was high often.


You know this explains something ive been thinking about lately. ive always thought is quite fantastic that all those miracles and rather ostentatious acts took place in the bible. Because really, I cant seem to recall something like that ever happening. I know, i know people will point out countless 'miracles' but come on. does anything one can think of in their own life ever compare to the things that happen in the bible??? I mean sure, there are things open to interpretation, but the miracles witnessed to in the bible are not open to interpretation. there's not a lot of room to argue them. they're quite fantastic. but in reality, there's plenty of room to see something differently because its never that fantastic. Life is really very simple and ordinary. 

BUT...opium...drinking...OK. i get it now.


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## GAsoccerman

Mommy, sorry if I sounded like I was getting in a argument, I was just stating where I come from.

I've always maintained, Religion is very good for some people, just not everyone, some use it for good, some use it for bad.

To answer your question, Where do we go when we die? Simply we go back into the earth and become part of it again.

Much like sleeping, you don't remember all 8 hours of sleeping, your brain goes to "sleep mode" When we die, we are simply turned off, and thats it.

Many people have a hard time understanding, that when we die, it's all over. I won't be an angel floating above watching my children grow, I will be gone. So hopefully I am raising them to be self sufficient and independent.

Drac, it's not that I don't believe in the bible, I just think it's a book written by man, same for the Quran.....it's just a book.


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## GAsoccerman

Not a problem darling, n ot a problem at all.

I've also noticed on our street, I and another (northerner) are the least "religious" people on our street, we party have a good time and laugh, all good stuff.

When a tornado went down our street and several trees were knocked down, and other damage was caused (nothing earth shattering) It was Him and I that leant everyone a hand cleaning up and and getting things back to normal. My super church going friends stayed inside their houses, they will go work on something if their Church tells them to, but when their old neighbor across the street needs a hand...they are no where to be found.


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## draconis

GAsoccerman said:


> Not a problem darling, n ot a problem at all.
> 
> I've also noticed on our street, I and another (northerner) are the least "religious" people on our street, we party have a good time and laugh, all good stuff.
> 
> When a tornado went down our street and several trees were knocked down, and other damage was caused (nothing earth shattering) It was Him and I that leant everyone a hand cleaning up and and getting things back to normal. My super church going friends stayed inside their houses, they will go work on something if their Church tells them to, but when their old neighbor across the street needs a hand...they are no where to be found.


Then that is a sad sate where people will not help one another.

draconis


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## GAsoccerman

as I said Drac, there are good people and bad people, some will help there Neighbors, others won't. Has nothing to do with religion, but how you were raised as a person.


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## draconis

GAsoccerman said:


> as I said Drac, there are good people and bad people, some will help there Neighbors, others won't. Has nothing to do with religion, but how you were raised as a person.



That is true. I most have had good upbringing where that is conserned but not enough people today are raising their kids like that.

draconis


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## GAsoccerman

I've actually ahd the opposite, I've seen women struggling in a parking lot with something heavy, I have offered to help them, 80% of them will say no, thinking, I am trying to steal from them, some sort of scam, or hitting on them. When really I am just being nice. the other 20% usually say yes because my kids are with me, I guess they feel safer that way. LOL


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## bluebutterfly0808

soccerman,

some of your views totally hit home with me! i was also raised roman catholic (never missed church - might go to hell kind of thinking). it's just how my dad grew up. he accepted it but as i got married & had my own children, i am having such a hard time with it! we have 4 children. our oldest had cancer & is fine now. everyone tells me that he is a miracle. i have such a hard time agreeing. i just can't believe that we got a miracle while so many other children we met over the years at the oncologist lose their battle. sometimes illnes brings people closer to their religion but not for me. it has totally made me question everything! i still believe in god & speak to my god all day long in my thoughts! i am not sure exactly how i feel about religion. i want to go to church to be more spiritual but i always end up leaving in such a bad frame of mind after the priest talks! i know that i believe in being a good person, helping others, understanding consequences to actions, being moral, etc. what is the answer?? will we ever figure it out?


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## Honey

bluebutterfly0808 said:


> soccerman,
> 
> some of your views totally hit home with me! i was also raised roman catholic (never missed church - might go to hell kind of thinking). it's just how my dad grew up. he accepted it but as i got married & had my own children, i am having such a hard time with it! we have 4 children. our oldest had cancer & is fine now. everyone tells me that he is a miracle. i have such a hard time agreeing. i just can't believe that we got a miracle while so many other children we met over the years at the oncologist lose their battle. sometimes illnes brings people closer to their religion but not for me. it has totally made me question everything! i still believe in god & speak to my god all day long in my thoughts! i am not sure exactly how i feel about religion. i want to go to church to be more spiritual but i always end up leaving in such a bad frame of mind after the priest talks! i know that i believe in being a good person, helping others, understanding consequences to actions, being moral, etc. what is the answer?? will we ever figure it out?


 God saved your child, you should be so thankful that it brought you closer to him. I mean knowing he was there for you.  Is it that you blame God for letting cancer hit your child? We had cancer hit my family too, but he showed me that he was there for me, and if I didn't believe in him, I would have the day I prayed so hard. I know how some people that is in Church are, you think why do they even go, but you are not there for them. You are there for YOU, YOUR FAMILY, and God.


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## Sweet love

I htink that it doesnt mater if you live with the one you love 3 years or 50 years and as for iof she dies well what if she lives oyu or oyu live her huh? what does it change?
What count the most is the time spend together beign hapy an din love.
you coudl also say the same for anything you do in life.
Why eat sicne it goes down the toilet and why cultivate the soil when you have to do it all over again the next year?
and soemtiems its all waisted cause of the bad weather..
and what about cars they alos die on you and oyu never see them again.. and houses..
and dogs and cats.
doesnt mean that you have to drop living..
thats the eternal problem of life and death.. why live if we are going to die?
cause we aint dead yet, thats why..
if all were thinking like oyu then no mum will give birth to chldren cause what if they die?
so all will ahve been for nothing?
i dont think os, not if they were loved and cared for.
you ahve to keep all the god and therefor everyday do good things for you and for other too. It makes oyu life more meaningfull when you have love in it.
Anythign thats good is done through one form or another of love.
But wahts hard is long distance relationship.
not what if after 50 years together.
anyway, women live longer so why worry? LOL!


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## Sweet love

Lets go to ours now n-o-w ! ! !


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## voivod

draconis said:


> "Winners are losers that got up to give it one more try." ~ Tommy SHaw


amen...get up...try again...then try once more...


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## ScreamingInSilence

It's better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all.


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## Wyst

This thread is the worst case of topic hijacking I have ever seen, and moderators involved in the hijacking too! And the thread of vulnerable teenager who is looking for adult input too!!

How in heaven's name is an argument over religion and the existence of God supposed to help one young person trying to get his head around the sweet agony fo young love?

I personally recommend this thread gets locked and chucked away as it does the whole forum a disservice - a fine example of how NOT to do things here!


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## draconis

Wyst said:


> This thread is the worst case of topic hijacking I have ever seen, and moderators involved in the hijacking too! And the thread of vulnerable teenager who is looking for adult input too!!
> 
> How in heaven's name is an argument over religion and the existence of God supposed to help one young person trying to get his head around the sweet agony fo young love?
> 
> I personally recommend this thread gets locked and chucked away as it does the whole forum a disservice - a fine example of how NOT to do things here!



If you felt that way instead of hijacking the thread yet again you could have reported it instead. The topic was short lived as the poster was a one time poster and hasn't been seen since may. Thw hijacks happened months after he stopped viewing. If you feel my comments or any are not fitting to the forum please report them. Even with many good moderators here and an active admin there are still 100-200 posts a day and some things get away from everyone. You will also notice that one of the hijackers was banned, so please don't think the moderators were looking the other way. Tangins happen in forums all the time and moderator walk a tight rope of what to allow and what to censor.

draconis


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## Wyst

just as well the kid never came back!!!lol

Draconis, if the kid was still around, I would probably have raised the matter of thread hijacking in the approprate channels. A bunch of people have already had a field day here - however, perhaps it is still worth bearing in mind how the thread as a whole may look to a new-comer. 

If I had seen this thread first, before looking at other things, before being logged in and able to see who's been on when, I might not have posted here at all! It's food for thought. 

so - new hijack - debate whether threads like this should be kept or whether they should be moved.....What do other people think?


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