# So Slow Like A Turtle Moving On



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

I feel this forward motion is soooo slow. I know I am going forward but it takes so much strength at times I feel depleted.

It's terrible to yearn for something that is over. My therapist told me of course it's difficult he was the love of my life. 

It came to me yesterday, finally, the reason why he did what he did. I am a strong person (my hideous childhood gave me backbone) and when I had lost my job (due to the closure of office), I withdrew and started focusing on myself and what options I had. My ex felt emasculated (he told me) because I was no longer there for him when he needed my attention. And so over time he withdrew into FB and fantasy world. He could not handle that when he asked me how I liked something I told him a better way to do it. And over time he felt belittled. That was never my intention. But the ego petting that he needed was gone because I was going through a rough patch.

What is sad is that when he was fired every year for 5 years I stuck by him and bolstered his esteem. He did not do this for me, he ran away. He told me that is what he does, he runs away. 65 years old and still unable to understand the give and take of relationships and that is why it was over. He ran away.

Does this make me feel any better? Perhaps, because it gives me closure. Something that I was looking for since February 2011 when this person flipped and bought a motorcycle, became a greaser and found a FB high school sweetie to pet his deflated ego.

The two hardest feelings in the world to shut the book on:

BETRAYAL AND ABANDONMENT


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

I can relate to what you're going through sparkles, like you my new future is taking shape very, very slowly, and also like you I think my childhood is partially to blame, you learn to protect yourself. I have always been guarded with my emotions, I dated a lot when I was young but only truly fell in love with two women, one I dated for three years and then the second is the one I married when I was 28. At times I wish I could be like others, totally care free and uninhibited, but that just isn't the way I ended up being wired. 

I wish there was an easy answer for people like us, all we can do is keep trying to move forward and hope that our path crosses with someone we can make a connection with and maybe find love again. In the meantime I spend time doing things with myself, I'm really pretty good company and can have fun alone. Tonight I am going to a concert by myself, something I have never done before. I think stepping out of our comfort zone is a good approach for people like us, open yourself up to new experiences and see what happens.


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