# Taking Pride



## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

I Spend a lot my time here on TAM reading all the life stories about how incomplete a lot of people's sex life's are. Most of us here are trying to get a handle on it, And mostly try and find peace and balance ??
I just have to wonder, And this is for the ladies mostly . I am really just wondering what I am missing in life. Are there females out there that take pride in what they can do to a man's body ?As a man its important to stand tall and take pride in your performance in the Bedroom. Its like you walk away from it saying to your self, Boy I really gave it to her good tonight. You kinda of grade yourself.So getting to my point. Is it the same for some females were its important to you to be at your best ?? Or be able to brag just how good you are in the bedroom.I once had a girl friend who would brag about how fast she could make you come,And she could. Maybe this gets to personal for anyone to answer.But do you ever say to your husband your going to get it good to night and mean it and do it. Or is it just a guy thing.Some of us men take great pride in laying some good pipe


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I feel like it's probably a matter of personality. 

I'm a woman, I am like you describe. I've taken opportunities to educate myself on sex and try to up my game. I don't know that I brag about sex to others necessarily but I take pride in, say, my oral skills. It is important to me that H is satisfied. It's important to me that he feels desired and wanted. I never wanted him to be the man that never gets a blow job, the man who's wife is always trying to weasel out of sex. I didn't want that for him and I set out to make sure it didn't happen. That was a matter of personal pride.

But, as I was saying earlier, I think it's likely a matter of personality. I don't think it's important to everyone. I think there are plenty of men and women alike that don't give much attention to their sexual performance. I don't think it even has to be out of malice. I think it's just not something they consider overly. 

I really could have written your post myself at many times in my adult life, only I would have been talking about men. The female orgasm is more of an art, perhaps, than the male orgasm. There are plenty of women out there who are happy to never have sex again - but there are also plenty of men who want to have sex, but really don't consider their partners needs or satisfaction. For a lot of us ladies that can't orgasm from laying some good pipe, as you say, that part of it only becomes fraction of the sexual experience and there are plenty of men who don't seem to care about the other part.

(I am editing to add that you could have meant anything when you used the term laying some good pipe - when I used it I was talking specifically about penis/vagina action.)


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## Always Learning (Oct 2, 2013)

I'll have to answer for my wife, NO!!

Twice in 26 years she attempted to give me a better BJ and then gave up. She makes no attempt at learning anything new, she does no research on it and can't even answer the question of what her fantasies are.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MissScarlett said:


> I feel like it's probably a matter of personality.
> 
> I'm a woman, I am like you describe. I've taken opportunities to educate myself on sex and try to up my game. I don't know that I brag about sex to others necessarily but I take pride in, say, my oral skills. It is important to me that H is satisfied. It's important to me that he feels desired and wanted. I never wanted him to be the man that never gets a blow job, the man who's wife is always trying to weasel out of sex. I didn't want that for him and I set out to make sure it didn't happen. That was a matter of personal pride.


Kudos on you taking pride in the treatment of your relationship partner. You realize that the actions that you perform with your husband reflect onto his image in the world. I like that you didn't want him to be the only man around him whose not getting oral, or the only man around him who has to pander for sex and even perhaps never get it. You didn't want him to feel like that...



MissScarlett said:


> But, as I was saying earlier, I think it's likely a matter of personality. I don't think it's important to everyone. I think there are plenty of men and women alike that don't give much attention to their sexual performance. I don't think it even has to be out of malice. I think it's just not something they consider overly.
> 
> I really could have written your post myself at many times in my adult life, only I would have been talking about men. The female orgasm is more of an art, perhaps, than the male orgasm. There are plenty of women out there who are happy to never have sex again - but there are also plenty of men who want to have sex, but really don't consider their partners needs or satisfaction.


Now we keep hearing about these men who get theirs but don't concern for their partners feeling. How do they keep getting to have sex? Is the social appear for having had sex with this man so valueable that no enjoyment during sex is acceptable?



MissScarlett said:


> For a lot of us ladies that can't orgasm from laying some good pipe, as you say, that part of it only becomes fraction of the sexual experience and there are plenty of men who don't seem to care about the other part.


A majority of women will not orgasm from PIV sex, no matter how artistic and skillful the pipe laying. However there is a way to give a clitoral orgasm from PIV sex by angling just right, but it's down right hard work and it is a clitoral orgasm not vaginal. However good pipe laying and closeness and intimacy feels good even if it doesn't culminate in an orgasm.



MissScarlett said:


> (I am editing to add that you could have meant anything when you used the term laying some good pipe - when I used it I was talking specifically about penis/vagina action.)


Pipe laying would be considered akin to "****smanship". I would just say this is having awareness of the ladies sexual organs and paying attention her body, learning sensitive area's and ways to touch them.


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

Well, There's only two of you females that feel comfortable enough to say where they come from here.And I realize its kinda of personal to put out there.But I so admire you both.As a Man married to a LD wife who could careless about the event or reading 
anything to try and improve.I guess when you like doing something in life.You also like improving your game too.I just wonder what it would be like to have a sexual partner that could challenge myself.I think at the same time that the one who cares to be good, Is also the one with all the fantasies,The new ideas,The new positions,You bring everything to the table.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

:iagree:


where_are_we said:


> YES. THIS!
> 
> Boys and Girls both: Pay attention to how your partner responds to what you are doing. Suttle changes in breathing, a look on their face, body language...can be enough to let you know if you should change it up or continue. Then there is always words too!
> 
> ...


I guess they should have listened to your body more than your sounds for this tidbit.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

where_are_we said:


> LOL
> 
> BOTH!
> 
> if the girl is continuing to slam back into you while you are doing the same and screaming.....that's not an indication to stop. So I have learned to say "don't stop!" so there is no room for confusion now.


I'm usually good about judging bodily reactions and breathing.

Sounds are part of the pleasure and communication too.


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

Well,This Topic must be to personal for the Ladies to reply to or there is only two that are Proud of themselves. Only Two That really try and make sure their husbands are satisfied. Love your response Ladies even though there's only two of you. You make the world a better place. You both get a A+ for effort


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I love making my H the centre of my desire. He definitely gets my best. I'm not afraid of being a sex diva and he welcomes every bit of it.


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## Just Wondering (Dec 20, 2011)

waiwera said:


> OP - give us a break... it was 4am here when you posted this thread.
> We're all in different time zones ya know.
> 
> I'm very much into giving hubby 'my all' when we have sex. I love to see and feel his reactions to my body and touch.
> ...


 Sorry Dear, Never cross my mind about the time zone.Great reply thanks for sharing


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Having just been here a few months - there are many, many ladies here that care and take pride in their sexuality. 

One group that I definitely don't see represented on this board are the ladies who couldn't care less about sex and the men who just want to get off and don't care if their partner does.

They don't care about sex, it's not a concern of theirs, so they would never think to get on-line and find a board such as this and attempt to see things in a new light and make things better. 

There primarily seem to be two groups on this board - the haves and the have nots. The have nots often care very much about sex and would love nothing more than to indulge in good quality sex often - but find themselves unfortunately paired with a partner who doesn't care so much.

And, as I said previously, I don't think there is malice a lot of times. In my opinion it is just a matter of personality.

And in my group of friends, my H is the ONLY one getting blow jobs. It wasn't that I wanted him to not be the one left out - I wanted him to feel he was very lucky. 

I haven't been overly fortunate in the return on my plan - this is how I find myself here.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

"skills" are all just theory if you don't have a willing lab partner.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Pride? I'm not sure that word has ever come to mind but maybe it is a good descriptor for how I feel.

I thrive on his pleasure as he does mine. I cannot go two days without being intimate with him. Sexual satisfaction is paramount to both of us.

I do feel a certain sense of power when I give him a BJ that takes him a while to recover from. Yes I guess I am proud of myself for being such a red hot, sexy lover that my man is so blissfully happy.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Just Wondering said:


> Maybe this gets to personal for anyone to answer.*But do you ever say to your husband your going to get it good to night and mean it and do it.* Or is it just a guy thing.Some of us men take great pride in laying some good pipe


I talk like this.....I dearly love to play the seductive wife...a little clawing at him...telling him he's going to be a happy boy tonight...a little teasing, if I have banana nearby = ...there is so many ways...

Though I OWE my sexual confidence all to my husband .....I've learned these last 5 yrs - just how much this brightens HIS WORLD...as when I lay this sexual charm/ my intended lust on him.... he lights up like a christmas tree and gives me some of that back...

Is there anything more enjoyable than THIS ...it arouses our desires, makes us feel hotly wanted...when our lovers show enthusiasm and passion like this... it's just a beautiful thing, never want to let it die.


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## KeepingUpAppearances (Jul 14, 2013)

My answer is a definite yes. My husband was my first lover so from the beginning I always tried to please him. He had been with many other woman. (Even some while we were together in the 1st quarter or our relationship). So I always felt like I want to differentiate myself from the rest. (having had no other experience to judge myself). 

I take pride in what I do to keep things passionate fun and interesting for him. I get a little power rush when he loses control after I work my charms on him.

Only problem is I don't think it's happening equally in reverse.


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