# Wife does not like to receive oral pleasure



## lefty64 (Jan 16, 2014)

Hello,
just wondering if there are any studies about percentage of women who do not enjoy receiving oral pleasure and why? My wife of 20 years has never enjoyed it. She does OK with giving, though.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

No study would ever be statistically correct because the world is big and wide and the sample populations would constantly be changing/different based on many variables.

Some women are into it. Some aren't. Seems you got one who isn't.

As for why, only your wife can answer that for you.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Does not seem to be that uncommon to me


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I can't speak for the whole world but the only women I've known,including myself in the past, who had issues with oral were the ones with a terrible image of their own vagina. They thought it was dirty,ugly,and whatever other negative adjectives that could be applied to a vagina.

They couldn't relax and believe their man honestly wanted to be down there pleasuring them so it was unpleasant for them.

Some were just uncomfortable with receiving. They were givers and couldn't get off by receiving at all.

You have to figure out where your wife falls or if it's a combination of things.

Or,there's always the possibility that you're not doing it right and she's not comfortable correcting or teaching you.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Add mine to the list of those who won't even give it a try, and yes, she definitely falls into the category described by Ms. Begonias. 

I am also positive that there are plenty of woman who still wouldn't find it interesting, were they married to the most cunning linguist in the western hemisphere.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Cletus said:


> I am also positive that there are plenty of woman who still wouldn't find it interesting, were they married to *the most cunning linguist* in the western hemisphere.


:rofl:


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

There was a thread on here not too long ago about this.

I wouldn't say that I don't LIKE it, but I could take it or leave it. I know my hubby likes giving it, though, so I don't complain. I just like penetration better


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

A while back I would be one who said if I could only have oral or his penis for the rest of my life I'd choose his penis. 

These days and countless O's later I'd pick oral. LOL The penis is hot n sexy and feels amazing but it just can't do what that man does with his mouth.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

I would be devastated if she didn't like receiving oral. It is one of the great highlights to love making!


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

I once dated a lady that didn't want oral sex. Needless to say, our relationship didn't last very long, because she didn't want to give oral either. Vanilla PiV sex does nothing to keep your sex life alive and flourishing.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

My wife has always disliked both giving and receiving. She's SLOOWWWWLY coming around on receiving. By the time i change her mind on giving we'll both be in wheelchairs.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> My wife has always disliked both giving and receiving. She's SLOOWWWWLY coming around on receiving. By the time i change her mind on giving we'll both be in wheelchairs.


How did you overcome that reluctance, even partially? I can't get near the damned thing.


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

I really don't like oral at all, but it has nothing to do with how I 'see' my lady bits (although I can see how that could be an issue for some women)... I'm very sensitive, and it's easy to push me to O that way. If I O during oral, it's kind of 'game over' - PIV is an absolutely miserable experience for me. So on the few times I go for it, I'm so focused on not O-ing that I can't just relax and enjoy it.

If it was just about me, I wouldn't mind it more often at all, but PIV afterward is _always_ expected, so oral is greatly discouraged.

I don't mind giving it at all, though.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Cletus said:


> How did you overcome that reluctance, even partially? I can't get near the damned thing.


A lot of frank and uncomfortable conversation, initially. The past few years she's been reluctant to even let me touch her below the waist outside of straight PIV--and that infrequently. I'm talking to the point where her thighs would initially be locked together (much like SongsaboutJane's thread) It was growing steadily worse, so I eventually called her out on it point-blank. Of course I got the "I just don't know" business, but it did seem to at least plant the seed.

After that we had some very frank conversations about the issue and I let her know that while I understood that it may be because she was uncomfortable with her own lady parts, it was adversely affecting me. I asked her point blank if she wanted to just stop having any sexual contact and she said "no". To which I responded that if that were the case I would need to have reasonable access to her vagina.

Since then the thigh-locking has gotten better. I initially started with some manual stimulation from time to time. I also pushed to bring toys in to the mix (something else that took some convincing, but is getting better). The oral has only recently been getting more frequent. She has MAJOR issues with her own parts--sight, smell, etc. It takes a LOT of convincing that i actually LIKE it as it is. One major key with her has been convincing her that I actually derive pleasure for myself from going down on her, and it's not just for her benefit.


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## FizzBomb (Dec 31, 2013)

I would hazard a guess that your wife is not comfortable with her own vagina: what it looks like, smells like etc. Maybe her upbringing taught her to view it as "dirty".

Will she allow you to look your fill during foreplay? Some women are paranoid about how they look down there or think they 'smell' unpleasant. I would encourage her when she's masturbating, to use her fingers and smell and taste herself.


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## SongsAboutJane (Sep 24, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> .... I'm talking to the point where her thighs would initially be locked together (much like SongsaboutJane's thread) ...
> 
> After that we had some very frank conversations about the issue and I let her know that while I understood that it may be because she was uncomfortable with her own lady parts, it was adversely affecting me. I asked her point blank if she wanted to just stop having any sexual contact and she said "no". To which I responded that if that were the case I would need to have reasonable access to her vagina.


Fozzy, this was exactly what i needed to hear. Someone said in my thread that I needed to just have the frank conversation but i've been holding it off because i don't communicate well. I made the decision last night to talk to her frankly but got called in for work. I guess it was a godsend because now I see this thread. I appreciate your feedback.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

IndyTMI said:


> I would be devastated if she didn't like receiving oral. It is one of the great highlights to love making!


:iagree: I absolutely love give my wife oral. I would be devastated if her "cave was closed".


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I have said it before and will say it again, I could never have a long-term lover who does not want to go downtown. It's one of my favorite things about sex. And I also don't understand women who won't go down on their dudes. Does not compute.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I can't speak for the whole world but the only women I've known,including myself in the past, who had issues with oral were the ones with a terrible image of their own vagina. They thought it was dirty,ugly,and whatever other negative adjectives that could be applied to a vagina.
> 
> They couldn't relax and believe their man honestly wanted to be down there pleasuring them.


That's my wife. I have tried to tell her that its something I want to do for her, but her self image is so bad she is not having it at all. My advise to you is to leave it alone. My pushing the subject has hurt our sex life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unlovedbyhim (Jan 20, 2014)

for he first 25 yrs my husband did it maybe 3-4 times, I didn't like it, I didn't like the thought of it etc etc etc, so then we had to start making some "adjustments" and books where bought, it gave him instruction on it and i still don't like it, I don't like the thought the feel etc of what hes doing, but the biggest part I have trouble with is that if it wasn't forhim reading that book then he wouldn't have done it, so why bother? it doesn't do anything anyway


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

A wife who refuses to give (or even consider giving) her husband oral or let him do it to her is a recipe for divorce.

Whilst I'm not a 'dog', I have been with afew women in my time...they ALL loved receiving and they all loved giving though not all swallowed.

I made a big mistake marrying my wife. 

Giving or receiving oral is very intimate and special indeed. I miss giving it more than I do receiving it!


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