# Right to be happy!



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Today I talked to a friend I have known for some years about the divorce. She has been divorced before so I felt comfortable talking to her. She told me: Its done, the relationship held a significance in your life for a point in time and be happy about that but don't let this take away from you. She said you have a choice to be happy. You have so much life ahead of you. Although it will take time to get over it, everyday you have the power to make a choice on how you feel and react. (I have been replaying that over and over in my mind).

She was very empathetic and she was also very encouraging and supportive. She is one of those optimistic people who are always full of life.

After I hung up the phone with her I thought about how down I was feeling all weekend the " I don't want to leave the house feeling." She also said "You did nothing wrong he stepped away from his vows etc.."

I say this to say, in the midst of this while we are healing and recovering from this situation that we have to give ourselves positive thoughts and encouragement. Although we may be losing the one we held dear to us, it is there loss if they don't value our life, our vows, our marriage.

Yesterday my H was getting the remainder of his things and he said "don't you know you are a diamond, you loved me like no other woman will, you don't deserve any of this and its not fair to be in a relationship only giving you 50% of me when I could possibly do this again...he was saying he is in a dark place right now for different reasons in his life and he could not allow himself to continue to hurt me. For that, I am thankful if he knew he was not going to be in it to win it instead of just going through the motions and he did not want to work on it this is the hardest thing to do but the best considering all the factors in this situation.

I think with all of our situations the reality of what is true now is hard. To think "how did we end up here" kind of thing and letting go of our life we once had.

So, today I am thankful that I had the strength to demand all or nothing and be able to let go (divorce) when that could not be given to me.

My goal is to find a bit of happiness each day as my friend said. She said you have nothing to feel ashamed or embarrased about. Your divorce is not a reflection of who you are. So take the memories and grow from this experience.

I am going to make an honest effort to do so, I really am!!


----------



## ilovemywife7 (Mar 6, 2011)

thanks d1221, reading your post has helped me feel better today


----------



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

ilovemywife,

I am glad to share this. We are all traveling down a road we did not expect to be on and any inspiration we can pass during this journey is needed. Have a great day (you are worth it)!


----------



## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

I want to add my thanks also to you d1221!

I so needed that affirmation that I too, have the right to be happy. I just have to redefine what happiness will be for now. For too long I have allowed my happiness to be dependent on what that one person could provide me. I am happy to have 2 wonderful kids and soon I will have a third in the form of a beautiful DIL. I can't wait! I must now make MY happiness, myself.


----------



## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

D1221, you and your friend are speaking to me this moring. It is the truth plain and simple. We all do have the right to happiness. I am so with you on every point. We all will do what we need to do to come out on the other side smiling.


----------



## staircase (May 16, 2011)

Love the post! I have a hard time letting the divorce define me since it's not my first. I feel embarrassed and your post made me remember that I don't have to be.


----------



## d1221 (Mar 13, 2011)

Thanks everyone. I called my friend to let her know her word of encouragement are helping others. The goal is to come out of this each day..one less thought one less tear adding value to our life and our future. Think of a nice book divided by chapters, now the pages are blank. This is the time we can start to write the manuscript of our life, our blessings, and our future. A qoute in a book I am reading says dont dwell on the past, there is no future in it. 

One day at a time, one step at a time we will come out of this victorious if we chose to thrive from this time in our life. Not holding on to the hurt and pain longer than we have to....

I am glad we are here for each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

