# Women: Lying about your age while dating.



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Obviously, it's wrong to do this. . .but I'd like to share how this can backfire.

I am online dating right now and I am convinced women lie about their age on there. The thing is I have a wide spread of age I am willing to date (28 to 48 - I am 42). I recently exchanged emails with a woman with photos who said she was 39 (lol - ok, cliche). 

The problem is, she looks 45 in all of her photos.

So, she's in my range of "datable". . .but I am thinking. . .if she is 39, but looks 45. . .something is wrong! She's nursing diabetes, has a chronic condition, something. . .but if she was 45 and said she was 45, I'd think nothing of it.

Just another reason your mom didn't tell you the reason to tell the truth.

It's the same thing with guys and kids though. . .many guys downplay their kids. . .dumb, dumb, dumb. . .I advertise I got them.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

For years, I looked A LOT younger than I am. I was 21 and got carded to get into a R rated movie on my first date with a guy who was 28. He was so embarassed, I never saw him again. When I was 26, I got carded to buy an R rated movie at Walmart...with my kids, ages 5 and 3 at that time, in the cart and talking to my mother about my divorce. 

I don't think going by looks is a good way to determine if someone is lying about their age. Although I've also never understood the point of lying about your age either. 

Do you have it in your profile that you'll date that age range? If not, I'd put it in there. And I'd make a note that age is negotiable, honesty is not. See if that changes anything.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I've yet to understand why people lie about anything. There are so many things more significant than age to lie about. If a person is lying about their age, it does make one wonder.:scratchhead:

Heck, I'm 47 and I'm not going to lie. Besides some of us are gaining wisdom in addition to our years. Like a fine bottle of wine, some of us get better with age too.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Some women did lie about their ages when they only wanted to have fun instead of a serious relationship.
I lied about my age when I was 26 because I was having fun with a 21 hot young man at a nightclub where ppl get "pissed"(drunk) to get laid. Hehehe.

He didn't suspect my age. Asian women look younger, I guess.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Hmm..I'm 47 and many say I look 37. Ok, I'll take that. But would I SAY I'm 37? No. 

But to honest, I don't have much in common with people my age. I'm a bit wilder/crazier and I like the same type of music and relate better to those who are younger than me. Most people my age can be boring or act...old. It kinda pisses me off. 

Plus, I wouldn't want a serious relationship. No way. I'm not into getting married again, or dealing with a man's family or any of that BS. I just want to go out and have fun. I think THAT would be something I'd want to communicate about more or concern myself with more than age. 

I think I'd just be honest and hope for the best though. Lying about anything isn't a good way to start a relationship.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Who actually DOES that anymore... I mean I know my grandmother did (to the point where SHE forgot how old she was HAAAA) but I never met a contemporary that actually did that. I thought the only place to see women lying about their age anymore was on old movies and bad sitcoms


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I always joke about lying about my age (32 now), but my 10 yr old knows how old I am and he'd rat me out. LOL


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

I forgot how old I was a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't lie HAHA Made myself older cuz i am THAT dumb LMAO


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

woodstock said:


> I forgot how old I was a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't lie HAHA Made myself older cuz i am THAT dumb LMAO


The year I turned 28, my mom (of all people) forgot my birthday. For the next couple of years, I insisted I was a year younger than I really was and said that since I didn't have a birthday the year she forgot, I didn't turn a year older. LOL


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I'm about to turn 53. I hit the dating scene again at 45. I NEVER lied about my age. And most men didn't even ask. Especially the younger ones. THEY were the ones lying about their ages! I got asked to dinner by a very charming, very sweet 22yo. He didn't lie about his age, I guess he knew better, lol. Assured me he wasn't trying to get in my pants, etc. etc. etc. I couldn't stretch the age gap that much. Ten years was it for me, and THAT was pushing it. I honestly turned my SO down the first time, b/c he was 10 years younger. Didn't give him my number(never gave my number out anyway), and it took me a week to call him and tell him I'd changed my mind. (after being browbeaten by a friend of mine)

OP...maybe the 39yo who looks 45 has had a rough life? Extreme lifetime hardships do take their toll. IDK...just stretching here a bit, lol. But it's possible. I think it's more likely that she is lying about being younger, thinking (like a lot do) that no one wants you past the big 4-0. 

50 used to sound ancient to me. I know better now, lol. And you hit the VFW on a saturday night, and you see 60, 70 and even 80yos out there dancing the night away! They are having the time of their life. They laugh a lot, they crack dirty jokes, and you hear NO mention of aches and pains! They are actually fun to party with! Interestingly enough, more young people (20 and 30-somethings) are venturing out to the VFW. Go figure.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

major misfit said:


> Interestingly enough, more young people (20 and 30-somethings) are venturing out to the VFW. Go figure.


Not many good clubs by you, eh? :rofl:


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

What Men & Women Lie Most About


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> Obviously, it's wrong to do this. . .but I'd like to share how this can backfire.
> 
> I am online dating right now and I am convinced women lie about their age on there. The thing is I have a wide spread of age I am willing to date (28 to 48 - I am 42). I recently exchanged emails with a woman with photos who said she was 39 (lol - ok, cliche).
> 
> ...


So, just deal with it and move on, right? Bad pictures, doesn't photograph well, genetics is huge here too!! Look at bald guys many are far far younger then they look....

I know a guy who is 61 that doesn't look a day over 50 just the way it is.......best of luck online dating...assuming you are going out on dates every week not just online playing....is the best thing to happen to single people. Let's awesome people meet that otherwise would never meet!!


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I've never lied about my age and I don't have much sympathy for people who do.

Online, both sexes do it. You cannot imagine how many men do it, SC. I'll bet you don't notice as much b/c presumably, you aren't looking at as many men's profiles. I've heard both men and women say, "Well, I just want to get seen in more searches, so if I put 45 instead of 50, more people will see my profile." Of course I think that is totally stupid--why would you want to be seen in a search by someone who has no interest in dating someone your real age? But hey, to each his/her own. 

FWIW, too, I personally do not respond to men who are willing to date much further down than up--and this isn't an attack on you, SC, it's just something I use as a filter. I don't see as many women's profiles, so I don't know if women do this too. But I think of it as, "Geez, you wouldn't date you if the tables were turned, so why should I?" That is, a guy who is 50 and will date down to 35 but only up to 52--if HE was a 35 y.o. woman and applied the same rules, "she" would only date men 20-37, not the 50 y.o. man willing to date her (does it make sense, the math part?). So I look for the guy who, at 50, says 45-55, for example. It's a much smaller pool but it is the one I want to swim in.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

It's like the employer who wants a 25 year old with 17 years' experience in a 3 year old technology.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Runs like Dog said:


> It's like the employer who wants a 25 year old with 17 years' experience in a 3 year old technology.


Ha, that's a good one, and probably too close to the truth to be funny for some folks!


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Well, isn't Applebees the best place to pick up young chicks?


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

This thing about age is amusing. I have a friend who is in his late 50s and is FAR more active and fun then most guys in their 30s. He looks older but he's fun as all heck! If you ONLY date people your age or younger than you are cutting off a HUGE pool of people who might very well be more compatible with you. 

To me, it's like fishing. If you only cast for one type of fish then you are very limited and you may not catch anything at all. 

It's like going out and saying "Anything but a striper I'm throwing back." Well, bluefish and fluke are mighty tasty as well.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Still I hear ya, OP. I'm 48yo--about to be 49yo--and in one year I get my red hat! But what the heck, I am what I am and if we connect and meet you're likely to notice I have a few gray hairs! And by golly I'm not dyeing those either! I EARNED them  

I can't understand people who lie either, but it was an automatic disqualifier for me. Lie in little things--probably consider lying in big things too.


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## daison (Mar 3, 2011)

When I met my husband I told him I was a year older than I was. Not a huge difference but when I "came clean" he was devastated. Totally threw me off of lying in the future. Not that most people are like that :/ (I was 15, and told him I was 16...sounds that much older )


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I agree that age really does not matter, and that's why I definitely prefer to meet people in person v. online--I usually have no real idea of their age except maybe by decade, and even then, things get fuzzy for me--not sure I "see" the difference btw 45 and 55, for example. 

But, a lot of people have a self-image that ties them to certain ages--"younger than me," or "older than me" or "about my age." That's obviously their right. I personally think they have limited the pool too much.

On the other hand, you must have some filters (online) or you get tooooo many "matches" and it is exhausting!


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## Lazarus (Jan 17, 2011)

Decide on matching life qualities. 

When you discover the person's age you may be pleasantly surprised or shocked. 

Attaching too much value on age can limit missing out on a soulmate.

A photograph once given should help decide if you want to pursue a relationship further 

Personally, online dating seems too meat market. How would you know if your date isn't sleeping around with all the others in the shop window looking for love? There's more opportunity for that online as opposed to traditional dating.

Like a job application, name, date of birth, address ought not to be a consideration initially but more about matching qualities and skills to the task, the job, the rest ought to come afterwards.

If one wants kids then only women of child bearing age should apply, though I guess with some women having kids at 60 with intervention may well cause a probem!!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Sure go ahead and lie. I wouldn't care. Tell me your 8 or 12 years younger than you are. What's the diff?


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## jsgrl925ws (Aug 27, 2011)

Have the same problem! Well maybe it's not really a problem. I've been talking to this guy that I met on a site too but he just looks much older than he is! I mean maybe that's just the way he is. He's really nice, though. We'll see!!


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## rikithemonk (Jun 8, 2011)

Scannerguard said:


> Obviously, it's wrong to do this. . .but I'd like to share how this can backfire.
> 
> I am online dating right now and I am convinced women lie about their age on there. The thing is I have a wide spread of age I am willing to date (28 to 48 - I am 42). I recently exchanged emails with a woman with photos who said she was 39 (lol - ok, cliche).
> 
> ...


You cant judge age by looks. I had salt and pepper streaks in my hair at 16 and looked 25 and was able to buy beer un carded at 19. To this day I look a lot older than I actually am. And its not due to illness. 

There is a great bad date site that I read regularly. In one of the stories a guy meets a girl for a dinner date. She is convinced that he us under the legal drinking age and make a repeatedly worsening scene in the restaurant as the poor guy tries to order a beer. Even after showing her his drivers license. Due to her behavior the waitress and the manager both scrutinize the drivers license and not finding anything wrong, (because its legitimate) serve him a beer. The woman storms off screaming that if he is going to keep being a lair he can do it alone.

Interesting example to me about just how difficult it is to judge ages and just how some people believe those who look younger or older, are automatically assumed to be liars, regardless of any deviance shown.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

WhiteRabbit said:


> i'll be 29 next week and I get carded for everything. entering bars, ordering drinks, buying alcohol...if there's an age restriction on it, i'll get carded for it.
> 
> i never did understand the point of lying about age though. it doesn't make any sense. it's just a number. who really cares? if the person has everything you're looking for in a partner or friend...what is the point of having that limiting age in your head telling you that you can't date them.


I'm 40 and I still get carded once in a while. It's flattering! :rofl:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I look young for my age, but would rather say I'm older than I am and then i'd look FANTASTIC! LOLL

My husband is 7 years younger than me. We never lied about age. It's not a big deal.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

I'm 28 plus tax, shipping and handling. That's my story and I am sticking to it.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

woodstock said:


> Who actually DOES that anymore... I mean I know my grandmother did (to the point where SHE forgot how old she was HAAAA) but I never met a contemporary that actually did that. I thought the only place to see women lying about their age anymore was on old movies and bad sitcoms


lol! MY gramma lied on her marriage license so she would be 2 years younger than my grandpa. lolll We discovered this when we found her birth certificate a couple years ago. 

"Hey grams, what year were you born in?"

"1922"

"Really? Cause on your birth certificate it says 1921."

"The doctor made a mistake."

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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