# Im struggling to forget about her even though shes not good for me, please help



## Usy777 (Dec 6, 2021)

I was in a relationship with a girl about 6 years ago, we were only together for around 4 months and things were going well until I found out she was engaged. One of my friends found out and when I confronted her she denied it but I found out it was true after seeing him on her social so I deleted her off everything even though she tried messaging me just before her wedding. She eventually ended up getting divorced a year in to her marriage, that was around 4 years ago. Around last year we got back in touch and we got back together as she seemed to have changed a lot, but a while in to the relationship she revealed that she did have quite a few boyfriends before then and that she had slept with someone. 

I was understanding and things seemed to be going fine after and we even planned for marriage, but then I noticed how much of a rush she was in to get married and how she said she always misses me. But lately we have argued a lot and she has really wound me up to the point where I didn't want to speak to her, she knew I wanted my space but to get my attention she ended up blocking me off everything. When I asked why she blocked me she said she didn't want me to have access to her if I can't commit to her, even though she has a lot of random guys on there! She eventually unblocked me. 

My own family wasn't happy about my relationship as my mother wasn't keen on her but I eventually persuaded her to accept (I realise now how stupid I was). A few months later, I noticed her being open again about other guys but instead of saying anything I stayed quiet. Because there was a guy that she used to talk to that got in touch with her, he was actually a married man so I don't know why he was reaching out to her but what bothered me the most was that she would complain about him getting in touch but she never blocked him to stop him from getting in touch with her, it felt as though she liked the attention. 

When she asked why I was quiet, she insisted that I can talk to her about anything so I told her that I wasn't happy with how open she is with other guys, she then went on to say how she didn't want to be with someone that is insecure as her ex husband was the same. I was quite annoyed at this point as she has said herself in the past that she is insecure too and she always had mood swings and emotional issues due to her endometriosis which I was always understanding of, it hurt that she couldn't be understanding of my mental health. So then she went on to complain about me not committing to her, at this point I had enough of it and said that if she wants to end it she should do it now so she went ahead and blocked me off social media. 

She didn't block my number but now I have blocked hers so she can't get in touch with me. I told my mother that we had broken up so she shouldn't get in touch with her mother to sort wedding arrangements, at that point my mom informed me that she rang her mom a couple of weeks ago but she said that she was busy and and that she would ring back later which she never did. I was tempted to unblock her and have a go at her for saying that I was the reason things weren't progressing. But I though forget it, I no longer want anything to do with her anymore. Its been over a month since she blocked me, I have missed her a lot and was tempted to try to get in touch with her. 

Im hurting so bad but I am trying to get in touch with her but I know deep down there's no point. I noticed today that she has now unblocked me on social media. I don't get why she would unblock me especially when she was the one to cut me off first. What should I do?


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I’m just curious, what about her makes you miss her so much? She seems toxic. Why are you so head over heals for her?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Another woman with a golden vagina yes?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Well, I'm glad you've woken up to the fact you need to get rid of this one. Look, you already know she'll cheat and isn't ready at all for commitment, so I guess she just wants the pomp of a wedding and a ring she can hock. 

I would tell you to just fool around with her if she wasn't crowding you for marriage. But thing is, you're too emotionally invested -- and she isn't. There's no way she is. She is an actress. She thinks this crap is leading to marriage and didn't learn a thing from her last stroll down the aisle, not one thing! She is in for personal advancement of some type, probably financial. 

Cut her off, break up with her, tell her to move on and don't even give it to her in person or you might cave. Just make sure she doesn't have crap at your place and text her that it's over and you don't want to keep in touch or anything and to please not contact you. That's it. In her heart, she knows who she is. People know when they're jerks. You don't need to explain it to her.


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Oh dear… this sounds bad on paper. Can you go back and read this and pretend someone else wrote it?

She’s unstable. You’re not insecure, her ex-husband wasn’t insecure. She’s just saying she wants to marry you, but she really doesn’t. (You really believe she wants commitment?)


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## sweet.green.tea (Nov 4, 2021)

She was dating you while engaged to her ex but her ex is insecure? Uhhh, don't walk away. Run. Find a real true love to invest your heart. She's a maneater.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Usy777 said:


> What should I do?


Run Forrest, RUN!!!!!!


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

No contact will be good for you, you’re in deep. It’s not going to be easy, but do see a professional about this. Almost a trauma bond. Check in with someone regularly, it sounds addictive. Yes she’s very bad for you.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Usy777 said:


> I was in a relationship with a girl about 6 years ago, we were only together for around 4 months and things were going well until I found out she was engaged. One of my friends found out and when I confronted her she denied it but I found out it was true after seeing him on her social media so I deleted her off everything even though she tried messaging me just before her wedding. She eventually ended up getting divorced a year in to her marriage, that was around 4 years ago. Around last year we got back in touch and we got back together as she seemed to have changed a lot, but a while in to the relationship she revealed that she did have quite a few boyfriends before then and that she had slept with someone. I was understanding and things seemed to be going fine after and we even planned for marriage, but then I noticed how much of a rush she was in to get married and how she said she always misses me. But lately we have argued a lot and she has really wound me up to the point where I didn't want to speak to her, she knew I wanted my space but to get my attention she ended up blocking me off everything. When I asked why she blocked me she said she didn't want me to have access to her if I can't commit to her, even though she has a lot of random guys on there! She eventually unblocked me. My own family wasn't happy about my relationship as my mother wasn't keen on her but I eventually persuaded her to accept (I realise now how stupid I was). A few months later, I noticed her being open again about other guys but instead of saying anything I stayed quiet. Because there was a guy that she used to talk to that got in touch with her, he was actually a married man so I don't know why he was reaching out to her but what bothered me the most was that she would complain about him getting in touch but she never blocked him to stop him from getting in touch with her, it felt as though she liked the attention. When she asked why I was quiet, she insisted that I can talk to her about anything so I told her that I wasn't happy with how open she is with other guys, she then went on to say how she didn't want to be with someone that is insecure as her ex husband was the same. I was quite annoyed at this point as she has said herself in the past that she is insecure too and she always had mood swings and emotional issues due to her endometriosis which I was always understanding of, it hurt that she couldn't be understanding of my mental health. So then she went on to complain about me not committing to her, at this point I had enough of it and said that if she wants to end it she should do it now so she went ahead and blocked me off social media. She didn't block my number but now I have blocked hers so she can't get in touch with me. I told my mother that we had broken up so she shouldn't get in touch with her mother to sort wedding arrangements, at that point my mom informed me that she rang her mom a couple of weeks ago but she said that she was busy and and that she would ring back later which she never did. I was tempted to unblock her and have a go at her for saying that I was the reason things weren't progressing. But I though forget it, I no longer want anything to do with her anymore. Its been over a month since she blocked me, I have missed her a lot and was tempted to try to get in touch with her. Im hurting so bad but I am trying to get in touch with her but I know deep down there's no point. I noticed today that she has now unblocked me on social media. I don't get why she would unblock me especially when she was the one to cut me off first. What should I do?


Ever heard of the “rope-a-dope”?

That’s what she’s doing to you.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Is this the only woman you’ve ever dated? Surely you can see how pathetic this makes you look. This woman is a total waste. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## The IT Guy (Oct 17, 2020)

Usy777 said:


> What should I do?


Even if you do get back together with her, it's just going to be a repeat as it was before and it isn't even REMOTELY worth it. Move on. Find someone worthy of your time that WON'T drag you down.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

What was the rush to get married in the first place?

Sounds like you reconnected and were together less than a year, with all that turbulence and all those problems and you were in the midst of wedding plans when you called it quits.

This isn't of course about the problems with the two of you- this is a problem that speaks volumes about you and you alone. Might want to explore that one a bit more deeply.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Usy777 said:


> I was in a relationship with a girl about 6 years ago, we were only together for around 4 months and things were going well until I found out she was engaged. One of my friends found out and when I confronted her she denied it but I found out it was true after seeing him on her social media so I deleted her off everything even though she tried messaging me just before her wedding. She eventually ended up getting divorced a year in to her marriage, that was around 4 years ago. Around last year we got back in touch and we got back together as she seemed to have changed a lot, but a while in to the relationship she revealed that she did have quite a few boyfriends before then and that she had slept with someone. I was understanding and things seemed to be going fine after and we even planned for marriage, but then I noticed how much of a rush she was in to get married and how she said she always misses me. But lately we have argued a lot and she has really wound me up to the point where I didn't want to speak to her, she knew I wanted my space but to get my attention she ended up blocking me off everything. When I asked why she blocked me she said she didn't want me to have access to her if I can't commit to her, even though she has a lot of random guys on there! She eventually unblocked me. My own family wasn't happy about my relationship as my mother wasn't keen on her but I eventually persuaded her to accept (I realise now how stupid I was). A few months later, I noticed her being open again about other guys but instead of saying anything I stayed quiet. Because there was a guy that she used to talk to that got in touch with her, he was actually a married man so I don't know why he was reaching out to her but what bothered me the most was that she would complain about him getting in touch but she never blocked him to stop him from getting in touch with her, it felt as though she liked the attention. When she asked why I was quiet, she insisted that I can talk to her about anything so I told her that I wasn't happy with how open she is with other guys, she then went on to say how she didn't want to be with someone that is insecure as her ex husband was the same. I was quite annoyed at this point as she has said herself in the past that she is insecure too and she always had mood swings and emotional issues due to her endometriosis which I was always understanding of, it hurt that she couldn't be understanding of my mental health. So then she went on to complain about me not committing to her, at this point I had enough of it and said that if she wants to end it she should do it now so she went ahead and blocked me off social media. She didn't block my number but now I have blocked hers so she can't get in touch with me. I told my mother that we had broken up so she shouldn't get in touch with her mother to sort wedding arrangements, at that point my mom informed me that she rang her mom a couple of weeks ago but she said that she was busy and and that she would ring back later which she never did. I was tempted to unblock her and have a go at her for saying that I was the reason things weren't progressing. But I though forget it, I no longer want anything to do with her anymore. Its been over a month since she blocked me, I have missed her a lot and was tempted to try to get in touch with her. Im hurting so bad but I am trying to get in touch with her but I know deep down there's no point. I noticed today that she has now unblocked me on social media. I don't get why she would unblock me especially when she was the one to cut me off first. What should I do?


She's gone back to her husband and is likely complying with his demand that she block you.
On the plus side, the fact that a woman was willing to choose you means that other women might choose you, so you have options,
But you have the responsibility of making yourself available to be an option.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> Another woman with a golden vagina yes?


Now, hold on, Mr. Andy...

Did not our Mr. Osy777 say his, on-again, off again, fiancee had endometriosis?

This is a horrid condition that is bloody painful and lasting.

Intercourse, and love making is often painful, and not possible, especially during the menstrual periods.

Crikey, no children can usually be had.

My God man, a horrid condition, it is, indeed.

I find it astounding that she has this vaginal condition and yet, she seeks many men to help her deal with it.

How many of her many male friends are encouraged to swab her insides with their medical probes.

Is she telling our dear man, Mr. Osy777 that she cannot indulge in regular shagging (with him) because of this condition of hers?

I would expect her to limit his entry into her sore pelvic quarters.
For good reason, mind you.

Does she prevent other men from trying to Slim-Jim stroke away her pain?

I am so curious, why would she cheat on her husband and to allow those other suitors, or soothers access to her nickers?

I must admit, Sir, it is confused, I am.




_KB-_


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Steer well clear OP, you know this already though. The woman is a train wreck.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You have dodged a bullet there. Your life with her would be miserable and stressful. She appears to have little integrity when it comes to relationships. I mean cheating for 4 months when she is engaged to be married? Lying to you that she is single? Encouraging a married man to be in contact with her? She also sounds very immature with all this blocking and unblocking nonsense. 


Just stay away and move on. There are so many red flags.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

you need to do some soul searching and perhaps even some professional therapy to determine why you have such low self esteem that you would even consider being with someone like this. 

Why do you have no other options that you would consider settling for such a train wreck? Why do you think this is your only option?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


3Xnocharm said:



Is this the only woman you’ve ever dated? Surely you can see how pathetic this makes you look. This woman is a total waste.

Click to expand...

*Yeah, that's the first thing that went through my mind - how some men fall in love with the first POA they get.

Crude, but true in SO many instances.

OP, find your dignity for God's sake.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

The only reason you miss her is because you don't have any other options.


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

Probably something to do with your own childhood. You're bringing some toxic baggage into adulthood and it's causing you to become addicted to the wrong type of people. You WILL do this again if you don't get to the bottom of it.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

OP, you've stated what every guy that's gone through a break up not of his making goes through. 
Its not uncommon, do like the masses, gird your loins and simply move on.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Al_Bundy said:


> The only reason you miss her is because you don't have any other options.


He doesn't believe he has options, but if he's attractive to one woman, it's highly unlikely that she might be the only one. But he has to get out there to find out.


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

Usy777 said:


> I was in a relationship with a girl about 6 years ago, we were only together for around 4 months and things were going well until I found out she was engaged. One of my friends found out and when I confronted her she denied it but I found out it was true after seeing him on her social so I deleted her off everything even though she tried messaging me just before her wedding. She eventually ended up getting divorced a year in to her marriage, that was around 4 years ago. Around last year we got back in touch and we got back together as she seemed to have changed a lot, but a while in to the relationship she revealed that she did have quite a few boyfriends before then and that she had slept with someone.
> 
> I was understanding and things seemed to be going fine after and we even planned for marriage, but then I noticed how much of a rush she was in to get married and how she said she always misses me. But lately we have argued a lot and she has really wound me up to the point where I didn't want to speak to her, she knew I wanted my space but to get my attention she ended up blocking me off everything. When I asked why she blocked me she said she didn't want me to have access to her if I can't commit to her, even though she has a lot of random guys on there! She eventually unblocked me.
> 
> ...


Spin her dude! Stay connected and she is a bed tool. Red pill it dude.


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