# Not sure if it was the brightest move



## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

but I unblocked the OW on FB. I want her to see how happy we are if she does decide to look at my page. I want her to know she can't control my life and I should not be afaird of her. She should be afaird of me


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

There will hopefully come a time that you don't care what the OW thinks and you don't do things in order to attempt to ellicit some sort of reaction from her and dwell on whether or not she cares about you and your life.

You have a ways to go yet..


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## lovemylife26 (Mar 21, 2012)

I know she cares about my life she asks about MH from time to time from a mutral friend of ours though FB.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

lovemylife26 said:


> I know she cares about my life she asks about MH from time to time from a mutral friend of ours though FB.


Let me repeat. 

It doesn't matter whether she cares about your life it matters whether you care about what she cares about.

A reasonable goal for you is to heal and move forward to the point that you aren't thinking about what the OW is thinking.


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

It is ironic that I am blocked on my FB by the OM but I can access his page through my WS's FB. I have access to my WS's FB and she does not. I have kept her FB opened to keep an eye on things with the OM and eventually I will shut down my WS's FB account. I do think at some time we all need to let it go but I do understand your view about it and if it helps you heal then continue it for a while. All that the OM can see on our FB pages is not much action since the A ended. At one point I did have the OM's picture as my wife's FB page with a caption my new lover. It was my way of getting back at my wife and people figured out quickly that my wife was involved in an A with this guy. I kept it up for two weeks. 

So when you are ready to move on just block her.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

All of you;
Once NC is established, it needs to be maintained with a religious intensity.
I have no idea what my OW or the wife's OM are doing and really don't give a damn. I put every ounce of my energy into my relationship with my wife.


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## cndmarriage (Oct 14, 2011)

donders said:


> Let me repeat.
> 
> It doesn't matter whether she cares about your life it matters whether you care about what she cares about.
> 
> A reasonable goal for you is to heal and move forward to the point that you aren't thinking about what the OW is thinking.


I'm still at a fresh point and my husband I think has finally decided to reconcile and I have done some major things int he last days to delete her from my life, unfollowing her from pinterest, removing her from my son's fb. I feel a huge feeling of relief not caring about what she is doing and what she thinks. I feel like I can really just worry about myself and my life.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

I understand some what why you would want the ow to see your happiness. It is a sort of revenge? I guess I too would like the OW to know her crap did not destroy my life and all that but I know it was not her purpose to make me unhappy and ruin my life. There are a thousand ways to do that. No she was having a good time and only cared about her. 

You should tell your mutual friend that you don't want to hear if the ow is asking about your H or you. It really does not matter to you anymore. I would get rid of mutual friend if that friend is going to be a reminder and a way for the OW to fish and see if she can try to come back safely. 

You need to focus on your happiness and if you want some one else to acknowledge that and be hurt or whatever over it you are not in a good place yet. IMO you need to go back and block and never look at her fb ever again (or anything else to do with her). Move on and move forward. the ow is not going to ever really hurt like she hurt you no amount of showing her how happy you are is going to make that happen. Just walk away from the idea that it is going to.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

You want to gloat. Do a little endzone dance, I get it. You won and now you wanna rub her nose in it a little. I suppose you see her slinking away, a hurt and dejected loser and you think that will make you feel better?.

You have this all wrong. For the record, escalating this wont end well. Let it go.


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## sunshinetoday (Mar 7, 2012)

You know if you block someone on facebook they can just create a new name and see what you have...ie: profile pic. Anything else you don't want them to see you keep to ur friends only. I always kept my profile private and have a nice happy pic of our family all the time. I learned a ton of stuff about the OW from her wide open fb. It helped empower me that I soon knew way more then my WS ever knew! And I came to find out that she repeats her pattern of going after married men 2Xs already since her A w/my H! She got dumped everytime and goes back to her long suffering H. oanyhow, fb can be tool.


_-- Sent from my Palm Pixi using Forums_


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## Rainey Okay (May 9, 2012)

I unfriended the OW from FB. H did the same and I banned her from our business page. 
She knows we are together and working on our marriage from the NC letter. She is not our "friend" so I certainly don't want her looking at our walls or profiles. I have my privacy filter on so all anyone can see is my timeline pic and my cover page pic. 
Just seeing her face on FB and seeing her nonsense made me ill. Especially since she used to make random posts to my status and pictures. I am much happier knowing she can't access our pages.
Peace


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

lovemylife26 said:


> but I unblocked the OW on FB. I want her to see how happy we are if she does decide to look at my page. I want her to know she can't control my life and I should not be afaird of her. She should be afaird of me


By unblocking her you show that she is on your mind and does have some measure of control over you.

Indifference is your goal.


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