# my wife has been wanting a divorse for 10 years



## larky (Nov 27, 2009)

Seems not a day that she nags me about something. I wondered if marring her was a good idea after she never told me she owed 20k in credit card debt soon after we were engaged "two years after dating". She seemed like a nice person her familly was religions but things soon started to emerge after we started to live together. I came to Canada to find work and be with my new wife. I had recently lost my job in 2001 soon after 911 when our company sales dried up. Out of work, I applied and got no where. About two months latter, my immigration paper work appeared and I moved north into Vancouver. My wife had to support me in the short term "she was my financial sponsor" at the time. It was really difficult finding work, never less any network support work. 

I had to take a low paying security job "not unheard of for people from other countries with degrees" to just pay the bills. 

My wife in the meantime, had lots of debt. Every times I got a pay check or a Income tax return, she would take it. I would be left just enough to pay my truck, and some rent, insurance and food and that was it. In this short time we were married, she would have emotional outburst as if she wanted to control me. she more then once used her physical streangh to pin me against the wall or against the sofa because as she said "she was emotional". There were times she said that she would not make a good mother because she has no patience, then a few days latter blames me for not making enough to have kids. Canada business do not hire people from other countries, never mind the US, if they do not have some kind of additional Canadian education or experience. 

since loosing my last job two years ago, I have had to force my self to work for my self. The income is not consistent. I have applied everywhere in my last known job background. It makes it difficult when she makes expensive purchases when I am not working like, buying a brand new car from the dealership! buying a brand new sofa! Buying brand new tired and wheels from the dealership! The list goes on and on. She talks her mind ALOT just like her mom. She is also paranoid. She thinks people are going to peer into our garbage if its clear, peer into our town house if the blinds are open, see our closet from the street though the window and steel things from us. She HATES having her picture taken and HATES to be embarrassed. She will have a HUGE fit if I invited some one into our house if she did not know about it. She would clean the day before inside the house and work till 1 am cleaning the house while I help her till 9 pm. She is a nighthawk staying up to 1 am often and listing to music "she loves music" and videos. She will often keep the tv on in the Master bedroom till 11 pm while I am trying to sleep and get angry with her and she will say "soo!" 


She puts me down alot in our home thinking that I have some kind of handicap. I do have some depression that I inherited from my parents but other then that, I try and get things done. I am taking medication for it and it has moderated my mood. 


About her families history. There was alot of and some physical verbal abuse in this family dispute them being religious. I would classify her mom as paranoid to a higher level then my wife. Both speak there minds and don't stop about little things. Her parents have been arguing, verbally fighting and abusive to each other for 40 years. Calling each other names. My wife once attacked her sister and nearly chocked her as a teenager "took steagh of both o of them to pull her off her sister" Her mom is alot like my wife and makes assumptions that her husband says is not true and drives him batty and thay start arguing. Gee, doesn't this sound familiar! Her brother is a big time narcissist jerk to the familly and my wife. Mom is paranoid "will not allow the children to use the wash/dreyer thinking that they will break it" Front entrance door of house has been bored up for nearly a decade and talk about the possibility of some one breaking in again..10 years after the fact? paranoid wife will not allow the house to stay vacant ie, everyone leave such as errands and such. My wife has had several angry outburst over little things that to the average wife, would be mild at best or annoying. 

I just wonder if genetics may have played a role in how my wife thinks and sees the world and the way she treats me.

I knew her birthday was almost any day now, and was thinking it was yesterday but did not want to ask her our of embarrassment. she came to me just now saying how abusive it is to not acknowledge her birthday "I forget often of other people". She said i'm just being used and that it means nothing when you say happy birthday a day late. She has seen a attorney for divorce and is going to see him again. She does not sleep in the same bed as me. 

There are times that she has driven me batty to no end just like her mom has done to her dad. I think my wife has her moms genetics. What do you all think?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

When you can't see any good future, it's time for you to move on. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jeffreygropp (Jun 9, 2010)

I am in a similar type of relationship and I am preparing to walk. I have had enough. I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life, but you sound very unfulfilled.


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