# Ladies who don't masterbate



## fr33yay0

Hey,

Just curious if this isn't abnormal, my wife has recently admitted that she had never played with herself. (hands/toys, etc) Out of curiosity are there others that are the same way? I just always assumed that everyone get themselves off one way or another. I mentioned that in my younger days, I had. But since being married... it doesnt happen as frequent. We have a great sex life.

Thoughts? or am I just putting too much into this?

Cheers :scratchhead:


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## chillymorn

I believe the vast majority of men and women masturbate.Some people especially women are to too embarrassed to admit it.

JMHO


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## richardsharpe

Good evening
my wife claims she doesn't masturbate, but I notice that sometimes the sex toys are not where I left them (and no one else is in the house).

Its absolutely fine with me if she wants to, not sure why she is too shy to say so. I certainly haven't pushed the issue - its here private business. I only asked once when trying to get new ideas about what she enjoyed.


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## Giro flee

I have masturbated in the past in an effort to increase libido, it had the opposite effect.

I have responsive desire so I never feel the need to masturbate. So yes there are people who don't need to do it, not related to shame at all.


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## HappyGilmore

Well, to quote that influential film "Mel Brooks' History of the World":

"Ah, but while servant waits, the master baits..." 

In all seriousness, I typically only do it in front of him, as part of our play (one of my ways of driving him mad). However, since he is gone on a 2 week guiding trip into the backwoods, I have had to bring out the bunny a couple of times, just to keep my sanity intact. 

Must...maintain...decorum... :banghead:


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## SunnyWife

For a long time I didn't simply because I didn't need to since Hubby & I were well matched in our drives. I'm now on a hormone to regulate things (not HRT) and the side effect is that I want it way more often now and Hubby's libido has remained the same so yes I do now (hubby knows and it doesn't bother him at all). I know that once I'm off this hormone I will go back to normal and probably won't need to anymore.


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## 6301

If any man or woman claimed that they never masturbated they would have exploded by the time they were in their 30's..................if not sooner.

And their nose would grow from lying.


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## Wolf1974

I have personally met two women who claimed they never ever master bated. I'm not sure I believed either one


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## DoF

Your wife is not being honest.

With herself AND you.

Not a good thing.....


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## Middle of Everything

Unfortunately my wife claims to never really have masturbated either. Too icky down there. Yeah healthy attitude I know. I am pretty sure she has used the shower head to do so very rarely but not sure if to completion. Has used rabbit briefly in front of/with me.

But with her hands or toys by herself? I believe she would say never. 

And no its not because she is randy for me all the time.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## learning to love myself

I think woman are just to embarrassed to admit it. 
I used to a lot based on lack of sex, now I don't for 2 reasons.

I'm doing well in the sex department and have my release.

It hinders my orgasms. ( stopping the vibe I learned where the G spot is) the vibe takes the sensual touch away and makes it harder to get there.


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## Sunburn

That's one of my first questions when considering a commitment. A woman who REALLY never masturbated usually, not always but usually has some issues.


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## Jellybeans

I have a gal pal who says she never has/never will/finds the idea gross.


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## Fenix

I think you are putting too much into this. As long as your sex life is good, what does it matter?


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## BostonBruins32

Ive long pondered whether or not my wife is honest about this.


She seems notably 'disgusted' by the thought of it. Has denied that she masturbates, but who knows.


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## Trickster

Wife was a 25 year old virgin. Never touched herself other than scratching an itch...not a a sexual itch. She has never played with herself in foreplay either. In all of our 22 years, she has never owned a vibrator or dildo. I bought the "magic wand" a year ago and it's gathering dust on the nightstand...

When I bumped up our quantity to 3-4 times a week, I stopped relieving myself. I didn't relieve myself for a year or so...i wanted to save it all for my wife.

Now that sex has diminished to nothing again...guess what?

At the same time, wife still has no desire to use the wand or anything to pleasure herself?

As long as both of you enjoy sex and pleasing each other, it all seems good to me.

Personally, I would much rather have sex than do that myself...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happy as a clam

I don't get this thread at all... it's almost an OXYMORON ---> Ladies who DON'T masturbate? C'mon folks... Those gals who tell you they NEVER masturbate... I'm not buying it.

I don't get all the unease, embarrassment, hiding. Why would anyone be embarrassed to feel good from time to time?


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## johnnycomelately

Young Master Bates masturbates, but old Master Bates hates that he masturbates so states that young Master Bates has to wait on the Master of Bait until such a date that he learns not to masturbate. It is sad but that is his fate.

It is masturbate people! Only a wanker would get it wrong!


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## DoF

Trickster said:


> Wife was a 25 year old virgin. Never touched herself other than scratching an itch...not a a sexual itch. She has never played with herself in foreplay either. In all of our 22 years, she has never owned a vibrator or dildo. I bought the "magic wand" a year ago and it's gathering dust on the nightstand...
> 
> When I bumped up our quantity to 3-4 times a week, I stopped relieving myself. I didn't relieve myself for a year or so...i wanted to save it all for my wife.
> 
> Now that sex has diminished to nothing again...guess what?
> 
> At the same time, wife still has no desire to use the wand or anything to pleasure herself?
> 
> As long as both of you enjoy sex and pleasing each other, it all seems good to me.
> 
> Personally, I would much rather have sex than do that myself...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And you married her because?


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## DoF

happy as a clam said:


> I don't get this thread at all... it's almost an OXYMORON ---> Ladies who DON'T masturbate? C'mon folks... Those gals who tell you they NEVER masturbate... I'm not buying it.
> 
> I don't get all the unease, embarrassment, hiding. Why would anyone be embarrassed to feel good from time to time?


I agree, it's like someone trying to tell me that they don't breath/never took a breath in their life.

YEAH


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## Faeleaf

I literally have no memory of a time before I was taking matters into my own hands. I started masturbating - to orgasm - at three or four years old, and kept it up daily until my second marriage. 

That said, I've always believed I'm an outlier in this regard. My parents were certainly horrified by it and thought it meant I was going to be a loose woman (I am not). And all that "good girls don't" stuff gets pretty drilled into our heads, you know. I have no problem believing lots of women don't do it. 

People have different levels of drive. I think you should take your wife at her word.


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## Giro flee

Is it so hard to believe that people are different? I have little spontaneous desire, I have great responsive desire. If I have no spontaneous desire why would I need to masturbate? I'm not broken, ashamed, defective, frigid, bitter, stupid, selfish, etc. I just don't have spontaneous desire, like many other women on this planet. Just a variation of humanity. 


Clinical Fact Sheets: Female Sexual Response


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## Faeleaf

DoF said:


> And you married her because?


Don't want to be rude but...this is decent advice. I personally would never marry someone who claimed they didn't. It speaks of either a very low sex drive, or dishonesty, or a very high degree of discomfort with their sexual desires. 

Even if he/she is trying to restrain themselves for strong religious beliefs, a healthy sex drive is going to make that well-nigh impossible.


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## DoF

Faeleaf said:


> Don't want to be rude but...this is decent advice. I personally would never marry someone who claimed they didn't. It speaks of either a very low sex drive, or dishonesty, or a very high degree of discomfort with their sexual desires.


Agreed



Faeleaf said:


> Even if he/she is trying to restrain themselves for strong *religious beliefs*, a healthy sex drive is going to make that well-nigh impossible.


That alone would make me run for the hills....even if sex drive was HIGH.


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## michzz

Faeleaf said:


> I literally have no memory of a time before I was taking matters into my own hands. I started masturbating - to orgasm - at three or four years old, and kept it up daily until my second marriage.
> 
> That said, I've always believed I'm an outlier in this regard. My parents were certainly horrified by it and thought it meant I was going to be a loose woman (I am not). And all that "good girls don't" stuff gets pretty drilled into our heads, you know. I have no problem believing lots of women don't do it.
> 
> People have different levels of drive. I think you should take your wife at her word.


My ex-wife acted like she never did, but she actually did masturbate. Tested it out by getting her a vibrator and reversing the batteries. Checked a week later and there were fresh batteries in it. 

My current wife does and freely admits it.


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## SimplyAmorous

I've masturbated since age 11, never bought a toy until 19 yrs married. and it doesn't compare to real sex in any way for me..

I was definitely too embarrassed to admit this outright in my younger years.. no one asked, including my husband.. but when married, sex talk should open up to this.. and both feel free to be honest.. if not, what a shame.. 

I have a friend who is a year older than me she says she has never had an orgasm, has no idea what that feeling it like...

I believe some women don't do it..they don't have the urge, it's not something I could relate to.


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## Big Mama

I have, I do, and my H dislikes that I currently do. So now I just don;t tell him. He does for himself, why can't I do the same. 

What ever you do don't make this an issue between you. If she does then great, she knows her own body and that is an advantage to everyone involved. If she doesn't if you make her feel badly about it (sometimes by just asking, can make her feel bad) she never will. Sounds like she may already feel badly about it, please don;t make it worse by making a mountain out of a mole hill. 

Some things are best left unknown. Just count your blessing that she shares her body with you.


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## Redheadguy

My wife is quite reserved about it also. She has sort of mentioned using her rabbit by herself, which quite excited me and I was not shy about letting her know that she need not be shy about taking all the 'me' time she wants.

EDIT: She has never done anything in front of me though, and is quite shy to touch herself when we are engaging in fun time. I am the same way though. I'd love to change that with both of us.


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## SimplyAmorous

Redheadguy said:


> My wife is quite reserved about it also. She has sort of mentioned using her rabbit by herself, which quite excited me and I was not shy about letting her know that she need not be shy about taking all the 'me' time she wants.


 See now my husband wouldn't want me to use toys. not that I care, I never liked them anyway..I bought one of those rabbits 5 yrs ago -when my drive was insatiable, I even caused him some performance pressure , thinking "I gotta leave him alone!".. I didn't even get off on it, tried it once.. and put it away.... I got a dildo too, that worked, but still 'hollow' in comparison...

Then he tells me to put those away and come to him every time...he wanted to be my toy. (even if he needed a little blue pill on occasion)... Music to my ears...



> EDIT: She has never done anything in front of me though, and is quite shy to touch herself when we are engaging in fun time. I am the same way though. I'd love to change that with both of us.


 We never did this either...I mean, I'd rather touch him, his hands on me... I guess it's in the viewing....we did get a big mirror in front of the bed a few yrs back... similar idea!


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## chillymorn

Giro flee said:


> Is it so hard to believe that people are different? I have little spontaneous desire, I have great responsive desire. If I have no spontaneous desire why would I need to masturbate? I'm not broken, ashamed, defective, frigid, bitter, stupid, selfish, etc. I just don't have spontaneous desire, like many other women on this planet. Just a variation of humanity.
> 
> 
> Clinical Fact Sheets: Female Sexual Response


so you never even tried to masterbate? not once in your whole life. 

I don't think your broken,defective etc,etc.

I think that people who don't explore what they like through some self love are missing out on a big part of their sexuality by knowing what you like through experimenting on ones self you can comunicate to your partner what you like and have a much more intense experiance.


and maybe you would not have female sexual responce disorder if you explored your sexual side.


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## TheCuriousWife

I never did until just in the last 2 years. So it is possible.


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## omgitselaine

Each woman is different. 

I for one was in my early teens when I first " accidentally " started ahem ahem ............ that incredible first time feeling with a pillow trying to sleep  ??? 

Since that day years if not decades ago .......... it's been part of my life whether I was single or with someone ( even to this day being married close to 10 years ). Our body has needs and aches .......... and each one of us " handles " so to speak differently


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## michzz

TheCuriousWife said:


> I never did until just in the last 2 years. So it is possible.


What changed?


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## SimplyAmorous

omgitselaine said:


> Each woman is different.
> 
> I for one was in my early teens when I first " accidentally " started ahem ahem ............ that incredible first time feeling with a pillow trying to sleep  ???


 Yep, that was me too, felt DIRTY about it but it's not like anyone would ever know in the darkness of your room.. something would brush up against me there.. and.. well.. it was ON ! Many boy fantasies too. 



> Since that day years if not decades ago .......... it's been part of my life whether I was single or with someone ( even to this day being married close to 10 years ). Our body has needs and aches .......... and each one of us " handles " so to speak differently


 After my little episode with toys.. me and mine both wait for each other , so I have not for the last 4 + yrs.... for the 1st 19 yrs..I did many times when he was sleeping -feeling he wouldn't want woke up.. for some reason I would get horny late at night.

Half the time I woke him up and half the time I didn't -trying to be nice.. (I wanted to every time).... and I come to learn -when we finally opened up this conversation...he ALWAYS waited for me.. I was shocked he didn't masturbate and he was shocked I DID!!... It was a crazy conversation......we both realized how badly we missed each other -not talking about THIS.. it just seemed so taboo... so now we talk very openly about all of this stuff.. and it's good!


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## jorgegene

My wife claims she doesn't masturbate because "it doesn't do anything; I don't feel anything when I do it to myself".

So, she's tried but to no avail. I suppose it's possible she still does it, but like most guys, I wouldn't care. When I do it to her, she goes nuts. That's all that matters.

There's something about another person touching you that's different from your self I guess.


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## omgitselaine

SimplyAmorous said:


> Yep, that was me too, felt DIRTY about it but it's not like anyone would ever know in the darkness of your room.. something would brush up against me there.. and.. well.. it was ON ! Many boy fantasies too.
> 
> After my little episode with toys.. me and mine both wait for each other , so I have not for the last 4 + yrs.... for the 1st 19 yrs..I did many times when he was sleeping -feeling he wouldn't want woke up.. for some reason I would get horny late at night.
> 
> Half the time I woke him up and half the time I didn't -trying to be nice.. (I wanted to every time).... and I come to learn -when we finally opened up this conversation...he ALWAYS waited for me.. I was shocked he didn't masturbate and he was shocked I DID!!... It was a crazy conversation......we both realized how badly we missed each other -not talking about THIS.. it just seemed so taboo... so now we talk very openly about all of this stuff.. and it's good!


Well from the get go I never thought of it as DIRTY but I did know it felt very , very good !?!? 

I did keep it to myself of course until my first boyfriend asked if he can " watch " me while I did .................. well seeing the look on his face and eyes got me very turned on where I'm not only comfortable doing that for a SO or my husband it's actually a nice turn on for me now ssshhhhh 

I can only imagine your conversation with the hubby regarding this ..... it's like " WOW are we in bizzaro world or what " with both of you unexpectedly being opposites however it's great that the both of you were able to communicate and are very open to the topic. As you've seen here there are more times than not a barrier to this kind of conversation !?!?


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## Faeleaf

omgitselaine said:


> I did keep it to myself of course until my first boyfriend asked if he can " watch " me while I did .................. well seeing the look on his face and eyes got me very turned on where I'm not only comfortable doing that for a SO or my husband it's actually a nice turn on for me now ssshhhhh


It's comforting to see I'm not the only one who likes to watch, even though I'm a woman.

Watching my husband do it could be my number one turn-on, if I'm honest. 

Like you, it took a little while for him to believe how much I liked it. He was like, "Really?" And I'm panting with my tongue hanging out going, "YES. PLEASE. MORE."


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## omgitselaine

Faeleaf said:


> It's comforting to see I'm not the only one who likes to watch, even though I'm a woman.
> 
> Watching my husband do it could be my number one turn-on, if I'm honest.
> 
> Like you, it took a little while for him to believe how much I liked it. He was like, "Really?" And I'm panting with my tongue hanging out going, "YES. PLEASE. MORE."


With my husband traveling so often and him being away ........ we often have to resort to " skyping and watching one another " during our intimate times together thus is indeed a huge turn on for both of us. 

It'd be nice if he was home more often because I do enjoy the ummm " real thing " of course but it is the 21st Century afterall and it's a nice way to stay close sooo to speak !? It also allows us to " crave or lust " for another more until he gets home.


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## Redheadguy

SimplyAmorous said:


> Then he tells me to put those away and come to him every time...he wanted to be my toy. (even if he needed a little blue pill on occasion)... Music to my ears...
> 
> 
> We never did this either...I mean, I'd rather touch him, his hands on me... I guess it's in the viewing....we did get a big mirror in front of the bed a few yrs back... similar idea!



The more toys the better IMHO, and I LOVE being one of them. I like the idea of her showing me what she likes so I can use that without asking or going trial and error.


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## TheCuriousWife

michzz said:


> What changed?


When I was younger there was some upbringing about it being dirty. (Not from my family, but from peers.) I was never really pressured but I just felt it was something "good girls" didn't do.

Although I always thought about and fantasized about sex, it never occurred to me to masturbate. :scratchhead: I guess I had never done it, so I didn't know what I was missing.

After getting married and having sex for the first time, it was like a light switch flipped on. I LOVED sex, and couldn't get enough. Now I'm a bit of a masturbating maniac.  Now I feel bad for all the people who don't do it. 

If I had tried it when I was younger I'm sure I would have done it all the time. But I just never did. I never "explored" or anything like that. In fact when I got married I thought maybe something was wrong with me, and maybe I would be a LD and hate sex. Haha. Boy was I wrong.


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## Fozzy

Mrs. Fozzy is late thirties and tells me that she's never even attempted it, despite my encouragement. I completely believe her. We've admitted things to each other that would make admission of that a complete non-issue.

She just doesn't think about sex, ever.


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## Fozzy

committed4ever said:


> I tried it 2 or 3x when my H was traveling. Even though I was able to rub one out in 2 or 3 minutes to me it was just meh. Maybe if I had tried it before I first had sex but I always thought of sex as a joint exercise. So I don't masturbate at all. We don't like toys either. There is nothing like the feel of my H's c0ck in all its glory so no thanks.
> 
> It's funny that so many grown folks think you have to be embarrassed ashamed or lying about masturbation if you say you rather have a real live c0ck. *Different strokes for different folks*.


I see what you did there. :rofl:


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## Faeleaf

committed4ever said:


> I tried it 2 or 3x when my H was traveling. Even though I was able to rub one out in 2 or 3 minutes to me it was just meh. Maybe if I had tried it before I first had sex but I always thought of sex as a joint exercise. So I don't masturbate at all. We don't like toys either. There is nothing like the feel of my H's c0ck in all its glory so no thanks.
> 
> It's funny that so many grown folks think you have to be embarrassed ashamed or lying about masturbation if you say you rather have a real live c0ck. Different strokes for different folks.


Well, to be fair this works (overdrive) in reverse, too. Many people - men and women - get upset about masturbation, because the assumption is that they should be meeting all your sexual needs, and be the object of 100% of your sexual desire.


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## samyeagar

Faeleaf said:


> Well, to be fair this works (overdrive) in reverse, too. Many people - men and women - get upset about masturbation, because the assumption is that they should be meeting all your sexual needs, and be the object of 100% of your sexual desire.


Right of first refusal...


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## Faeleaf

committed4ever said:


> Did you mean to quote me? I'm not getting the connection between my post and your response.


Yes, I was responding to your statement that it's unfortunate (I'm paraphrasing) that people don't accept that you don't please yourself. I just offered the other side, that even people who do please themselves can find themselves taking a lot of heat for it. Neither pleasing yourself, or not pleasing yourself, is universally accepted in society.


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## Big Mama

samyeagar said:


> Right of first refusal...


My H is one of those ones who gets jealous. Jealous of what I can do for me. He often feels robbed of having the ability to do that. But ya know what, no one knows what I want more then I do. Some times it is something I need to take care of my self, other times I am fine with him. I feel a certain degree of stress when he and I are together and it doesn't always happen due to that stress. Performance anxiety for women to I suppose. 

It is that doing it alone that has helped me learn what I am supposed to do or what I need to tell him to do. I gotta learn from some where. I do hate it that he feels jealous when he knows I have gotten it by my self. It makes me not want to tell him the truth.


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## Redheadguy

Big Mama said:


> But ya know what, no one knows what I want more then I do. Some times it is something I need to take care of my self, other times I am fine with him.
> ...
> It is that doing it alone that has helped me learn what I am supposed to do or what I need to tell him to do. I gotta learn from some where. I do hate it that he feels jealous when he knows I have gotten it by my self. It makes me not want to tell him the truth.


I'd love for my wife to tell me she found something that feels really good and that she would show me how to do it.


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## samyeagar

Big Mama said:


> My H is one of those ones who gets jealous. Jealous of what I can do for me. He often feels robbed of having the ability to do that. But ya know what, no one knows what I want more then I do. Some times it is something I need to take care of my self, other times I am fine with him. I feel a certain degree of stress when he and I are together and it doesn't always happen due to that stress. Performance anxiety for women to I suppose.
> 
> It is that doing it alone that has helped me learn what I am supposed to do or what I need to tell him to do. I gotta learn from some where. I do hate it that he feels jealous when he knows I have gotten it by my self. It makes me not want to tell him the truth.


And my wife is more along the lines of Committed4ever, though my wife has masturbated more I think...she would rather have the real thing.

We have talked about this a bit and the last time she took care of herself alone was right after I left her house after our first date. Incidentally, that was the last time I took care of myself alone as well. Her explanation is that I simply have ruined masturbation for her because I am able to make her body do things that even she isn't, and I'm ok with that  The fact that we have sex as much as we do, with the quality that we have probably curbs the need and desire to masturbate as well.


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## SimplyAmorous

omgitselaine said:


> *Well from the get go I never thought of it as DIRTY but I did know it felt very , very good !?!? *


 being raised going to church (off & on) and just how this sort of thing is so deplorably hush hush ....it can play on one's mind..it's not something our parents would bring up for sure...(though I have graced it kinda jokingly with our sons - not much is off the table in our house)...

In my youth...I did happen upon "The Joy of Sex" in Dad & Step Mom's bedroom (yeah I was looking)...God help my kids what they'll find on the shelves of mine...(Tickle His Pickle, Sex on the brain, Squirms, screams & squirts, the hardness factor, built for sex ", 365 sex positions, etc etc)...

But finding "the Joy of sex" ... it's not like at that young age, these visuals turned me on, it was a bit shocking actually...yet it is a human URGE & craving for sure..and good for understanding our bodies.. 

I still would not regret having a more conservative view of waiting for someone special to share this part of myself with though...and we teach our children the same (even with our openness on sexuality)... even if my religious upbringing had this side effect... it should have been worked through earlier in my life for sure though.. And I don't want our children to have the mindset I did here..

I found if dismaying when yrs ago Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders was fired for speaking on Masturbation... people came out with pitch forks after her...really all I seen was her suggesting this was better than teens engaging in riskier sexual behaviors... to self love.. to embrace it...taken from this article..

Surgeon General Is Fired Joycelyn Elders Has Been Controversial. Her Remark On Masturbation Was The Last Straw. - she said:



> "I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality, and it's a part of something that perhaps should be taught," she said in front of 200 people. "But we've not even taught our children the very basics. And I feel that we have tried ignorance for a very long time, and it's time we try education."
> 
> In a telephone interview with the Associated Press from her home outside Washington yesterday, Elders said she had intended to relate her belief that students should be taught that masturbation is a natural part of human sexuality - not that youths should be taught how to masturbate.
> 
> "Heavens, no. That's not what I was trying to say," she said. "You can't teach people how to do that, just like you can't teach them how to have sex."


I would agree with her!!... Good for her for speaking out...just another example of the ongoing TABOO.... I've also seen some articles in christian circles that are completely outrageous in regards to this which promotes shame...then there are those who suggest it is healthy, good , no condemnation Example >> 

Teens and Masturbation.. .. but then it gets REAL MURKY because it goes on to condemn sexual fantasies.. explaining ANY IMPURE thoughts is sinning...therefore enter Dirtiness/ shame for our thoughts..

I am no longer a Christian but I feel this is pretty unattainable and for that matter, it's just not going to happen..even suggesting " A person can focus their heart on Jesus swinging a hammer at a construction site".. I really :rofl: reading this.. like any young boy's mind is going to go here over whacking it to the hot cheerleader next door ... 

Can people just be REAL please.. I am sure the author of that silly article, also had naked beauties running through his head in his youth too!! what a shame the church makes sinning so much FUN... 

If we can't have some sexual fantasy , I am afraid we'd severely repress ourselves.. and that I would not call healthy.. so this is my long winded view on that. 



> *I can only imagine your conversation with the hubby regarding this ..... it's like " WOW are we in bizzaro world or what " with both of you unexpectedly being opposites however it's great that the both of you were able to communicate and are very open to the topic. As you've seen here there are more times than not a barrier to this kind of conversation !?!*?


 It was a night I will never forget, my mouth hanging open







...I cried at one point... realizing how badly we missed each other (and that he wanted more sex- and there I was doing myself)..

He always liked to look at play boy bunnies online, saved them in folders...so I brought that up, asking, "didn't you whack it while looking?".... he tells me "NO" and felt that would be like cheating..... now get this.. I looked at him and told him ..."Well I am a cheater then".. cause I did - heck I've looked at hot men online, they didn't even have to be naked and got off.. 

OH heck.. he made me LOOK BAD.. but thank God we had this ridiculous conversation.. It is kinda funny looking back...I really do believe him though cause when we had sex, he was always a loaded gun.. he did wait.. I asked him how in the hell he didn't get blue balls !

When I told him I wanted to wake him up every time -instead of taking matters into my own hands... his response was so funny.. He said "Hell, that would be like the house was on fire, that was important!"..









Then I got a little  at him cause although he was very receptive when I did that, it was a rockin' time..... he never was one to play it up and say "Baby, why don't you do this more often!!!" or something to say "I love being woke up for sex"- he was a very quiet lover.. we just didn't talk about it... Had he said that to me just ONE TIME.. I would have never masturbated again.. 
Yeah learn from us.. TALK ABOUT







.. I think we've talked so much about it in the last 5 yrs, it's make up for our quiet years...


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## Big Mama

Redheadguy said:


> I'd love for my wife to tell me she found something that feels really good and that she would show me how to do it.


Honey I don't even know you and I wish the same thing for you and so many here at this site. 

Red - I sounds like your wife is not exactly into sex. Is sounds much like me when I am on antidepressants. Is she on antidepressants or other meds that affect sex drive. Some of those meds, make "O"'s next to impossible, and you often feel NOTHING, absolutely nothing. 

But regardless I do wish you all the best of luck.


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## Big Mama

samyeagar said:


> And my wife is more along the lines of Committed4ever, though my wife has masturbated more I think...she would rather have the real thing.
> 
> We have talked about this a bit and the last time she took care of herself alone was right after I left her house after our first date. Incidentally, that was the last time I took care of myself alone as well. Her explanation is that I simply have ruined masturbation for her because I am able to make her body do things that even she isn't, and I'm ok with that  The fact that we have sex as much as we do, with the quality that we have probably curbs the need and desire to masturbate as well.


All I can say is "She is one lucky girl". You both are quite lucky.


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## EntirelyDifferent

I'm not much of a masturbator. It's not that I've never done it, but keeping up with my HD partner's needs is more than enough - the last thing I want is more sex time. 
I'm the weird one that doesn't really care about orgasms, so on the rare occasions I do drag the toys out, its more of a boredom thing than anything else.


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## doobie

Although male masturbation has long been a topic of discussion, for some reason female masturbation has been largely ignored until recent years. This means that men are fairly comfortable admitting that they masturbate while some women are still a little ashamed to own up to the fact that they play with themselves.

I've been masturbating since early teens, usually less when I've been in a relationship. Right now, masturbation is the only sex I get as my husband has no sex drive.


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## TheCuriousWife

I'm with committed4ever and sam. It is nothing like the real thing. I would choose my lovely husband every time if I could. But our drives are just not the same. In a perfect world he would be my everything and I wouldn't have to take care of things myself. But I would go crazy if I only got what he was willing to give me at this time. 

So I pout a little bit, and get things done. lol.

But if you're talking which I prefer or which is better. My husband wins 100%. His body is perfect, and he makes me feel things which are unattainable alone. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think sexy thoughts about him.


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## capstone4019

HappyGilmore said:


> Well, to quote that influential film "Mel Brooks' History of the World":
> 
> "Ah, but while servant waits, the master baits..."
> 
> In all seriousness, I typically only do it in front of him, as part of our play (one of my ways of driving him mad). However, since he is gone on a 2 week guiding trip into the backwoods, I have had to bring out the bunny a couple of times, just to keep my sanity intact.
> 
> Must...maintain...decorum... :banghead:


How do I broach the subject of 'using the bunny' to my very conservative wife?


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## HappyGilmore

capstone4019 said:


> How do I broach the subject of 'using the bunny' to my very conservative wife?


The bunny (or rabbit) can look rather intimidating to a conservative woman (or man, I may add).

I recommend a small, bullet shaped clitoral vibrator. It looks rather benign, and can be hidden away in a jewelry box.


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## Faeleaf

HappyGilmore said:


> I recommend a small, bullet shaped clitoral vibrator. It looks rather benign, and can be hidden away in a jewelry box.


Or a purse. Mine goes everywhere with me.


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## alexm

My wife also said she never masturbated, even as a child. We've discovered that she's responsive desire, therefore she never really feels the urge for sexual release.

Being a woman, it's not that difficult to find a willing partner, so if she ever went without for too long, that's how she'd "scratch that itch", so to speak. And according to her, we're talking several months without before she would discover that need.

Since we've been together, she's bought a few vibrators, mostly out of curiosity (friend held a sex toy party). She used them, on her own, sporadically for less than a year, now they're only used with me present. As she has responsive desire, she would need to make a point of bringing out the vibrator for her own use, then getting into it. But if it's not on the brain, it's easy to forget or completely forego.

I also very much disagree with those (mostly men...) who say ALL women masturbate and if they don't, there's something wrong.

Honestly, I would love a partner who masturbates regularly AND still has a desire for sex. Responsive desire, although MUCH better than NO desire, can be annoying at times.


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## momtwo4

happy as a clam said:


> I don't get this thread at all... it's almost an OXYMORON ---> Ladies who DON'T masturbate? C'mon folks... Those gals who tell you they NEVER masturbate... I'm not buying it.
> 
> I don't get all the unease, embarrassment, hiding. Why would anyone be embarrassed to feel good from time to time?


This is why it is so difficult for LD people to be understood. You truly cannot fathom not having a sexual drive. Yes. There are people who do not regularly masturbate and who have never masturbated at all.

I'll admit that I have experimented down there. However, it wasn't because I had any real desire to do so. Instead, I was trying to find out what feels good so that I could strengthen my sexual relationship with my husband.

Maybe some women are embarrassed and do hide that they masturbate. However, there are also women who truly have no desire to masturbate and are telling the truth. I am none of them. And I'm not ashamed of it.


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## chillymorn

momtwo4 said:


> This is why it is so difficult for LD people to be understood. You truly cannot fathom not having a sexual drive. Yes. There are people who do not regularly masturbate and who have never masturbated at all.
> 
> I'll admit that I have experimented down there. However, it wasn't because I had any real desire to do so. Instead, I was trying to find out what feels good so that I could strengthen my sexual relationship with my husband.
> 
> Maybe some women are embarrassed and do hide that they masturbate. However, there are also women who truly have no desire to masturbate and are telling the truth. I am none of them. And I'm not ashamed of it.


which is it you did masterbate or you didn't?

I am saying that only in the rearest instance that someone never masterbated. that the vast majority took their genitals for a test ride at some point in their life.

I do not clasify you as being in that catagory because you said you have tried it. Not to mention that your life is not over yet and you might decide to try it or make it something you do more frequently at a later time.

so when peolpe say I NEVER masterbate I say bull. they might not do it frequently or at all at the present but I would bet the ranch that the vast majority have explored at least some in their life time.


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## Randy52

It would not surprise me if my ex-wife had never masturbated.... that would explain some of the OTHER sexual hang-ups she had (which is a BIG reason why she is my EX). My present wife readily admits that she masturbates and sometimes does so in front of me, as I do in front of her. We have accumulated a nice collection of "toys" to assist in this endeavor. (We highly recommend the Hitachi Magic Wand with an assortment of attachments.)


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## aston

Lying through her teeth. Nuff said


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