# Experience with court-ordered custody mediation?



## DoneAndDoner (Jan 27, 2018)

Just wondering if anyone has any experience with court-ordered mediation for custody determination, preferably in California, that you wouldn't mind sharing.

I'm planning on filing for divorce. My husband is controlling and has anger management issues. We have only talked about separation minimally, but it's essentially a situation where once I put it out there, there's no turning back or hope for reconciliation. So I'd like to wrap my head around the possible outcomes of a court's decision before filing my papers. I'd like for custody to eventually be 50% but, for good reasons, don't believe he is capable of that level of responsibility right now.

A follow-up question is what and how should I be documenting to demonstrate that my husband's custody rights be initially limited? There have been isolated incidents of threatening/violent behavior, some of which I tried to document through photos and narrative. Not all have been directed at the kids, and the most severe have been directed at others. But what about questionable parenting style? For example, he chooses to eat every meal in front of his computer rather than sit with the rest of the family. And on the rare days he has the kids, he always feeds them fast food way past their hunger point and then sits them in front of the tv while he remains on the computer. And of course, his temper is generally short with them. There's a long list of what he doesn't do, but in general, he's mostly emotionally unavailable and makes decisions based on his own schedule and interests. I don't think the courts would take this into consideration as long as he is not consistently abusive. I plan on having my kids meet with a therapist, mostly for good measure, but I wonder if I'm worrying more than I need to. Any thoughts about this? Thanks for any insight.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

@DoneAndDoner
Per forum rules, please do not open multiple threads on the same subject. It interferes with moderation of the forum. Thank you.


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