# Husband's conservative beliefs are becoming problematic in the least advice?



## WW38 (Nov 9, 2015)

Ok My DH is very very conservative socially only thing he's not too conservative on is immigration. Other than that and school prayer he's very conservative. He is pro guns pro family values anti welfare against abortion against homosexuals very ignorant about the lgbt community and very proud of this. Doesn't want to know. Doesn't like to talk about it either. And that's the good side of it or has been that he doesn't like talking his beliefs in things like abortion or anything to do with the lgbt community. When he does say anything about it, he would refer to them as fairies or as broken individuals he has said to me that he wished they'd kill themselves and do the world a service that he thought they were abnormal that they were the result of sexual abuse that they needed medication that it was disgusting etc.... He genuinely has a distaste for this and that's for homosexual men or women he doesn't even believe in bisexuality for anyone and has said he has since he was 10 when he found out that homosexuals existed. It makes him uncomfortable. I'm personally more moderate I guess. I actually had an abortion when I was a single mom of my son of which he doesn't know about. I consider myself straight but at one point I considered myself bisexual and was on welfare way back when I first had my DS. I am less conservative than him admittedly. I'm pro choice pro guns pro marriage equality and not antiwelfare. I'm more conservative on like things having to do with the penal system drugs etc. But it never was an issue. My past was never his concern. The thing is now we found out recently that my son has had a history of homosexual tendencies and he told me that he identifies as bisexual. He's 15 years old. My DH knows my DS had a same sex relationship. And they had a good a relationship before this. But now it's not good at all. It makes DH uncomfortable that my DS is in some form attracted to his same sex. One thing is it bothers my son that he calls him gay. Which is why he said he didn't want to come out because he didn't feel he would be any more fairly be acknowledged than before when he was in the closet and assumed to be straight. It leads to arguments. And secondly my DH is not very good handling this news. He has said many of the things I mentioned above. And he won't even touch him or go near him because he think he's carrying some type of even more dangerous disease. And it's really made our household the opposite of what it was before. I want to try marriage counseling. My DS has counseling for several reasons so that's figured out. But I still want things to work with DH even though we have different beliefs. It's like if he could get past this things could be a lot better never the same but maybe better. The thing is he doesn't seem to know how to make things work. He sometimes is like he doesn't want to accept anything other times he wants to but can't? Don't know. If it's possible though. Advice?


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Well the standard recommendation of just not talking politics doesn't work because your husband is alienating your son.

There's a good chance that if the name calling and rejection continues the damage will be done to the relationship with your son. And that's the arguably the best outcome. The worst is that your son, like many gay youths feels shunned and rejected by his parents and it ends badly (running away) or dangerously/fatally (suicide attempt.)

It needs to stop. The question is what will stop it. Will counseling get a lifelong proud bigot to suddenly see the light? Maybe. But I'd doubt it. If he's not willing to accept your son, are you willing to move out with your son?


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## sydalg (Nov 8, 2015)

I was raised by a very religious and old style values mom. I was in sort of a shock when even though i live thousands of miles away from them I learned that my younger sister was lesbian. I cried but didn't stop loving her. We are 3 girls and she was the one i identify the most with. I cried but I remember thinking and worrying about not being able to have niece and nephews who really love me as my relationship with the older sis never been the best. I learned later on my aunt which I didn't grow up with and met later on in life also has 3 kids and the yonger one is also a lesbian. This made me think and be more open to consider that some people may be born this way or its somehow embedded in the genes. We were never expose to any sexual behavior out of the norm and even thought I don't know how my aun raise her kids makes you wonder how is thhave always wonder how is that 2 sisters that didn't had any communication for over 30 years end up with their younger kids being lesbians. That being said I have always wonder how would I react if one of my kids ever confess something like that to me. I know I won stop loving them that's already set on my mind. So in your H case this would be just like any other situation; my kids come 1st. I am a mother before I am a woman so if he doesn't respect my kids then there will be nothing left for me to do other than being a mother and get a divorce. Sorry but I will always choose be a mother to my kids than a wife to any man. There are always exception like a kid being in drugs and not wanting to get help no matter how hard you tried so in that case then i will choose though love and cut them off up to the situation.!


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## WW38 (Nov 9, 2015)

Starstarfish said:


> Well the standard recommendation of just not talking politics doesn't work because your husband is alienating your son.
> 
> There's a good chance that if the name calling and rejection continues the damage will be done to the relationship with your son. And that's the arguably the best outcome. The worst is that your son, like many gay youths feels shunned and rejected by his parents and it ends badly (running away) or dangerously/fatally (suicide attempt.)
> 
> It needs to stop. The question is what will stop it. Will counseling get a lifelong proud bigot to suddenly see the light? Maybe. But I'd doubt it. If he's not willing to accept your son, are you willing to move out with your son?


Yeah I know is gotten to a point where its gotten personal.

My son doesn't identify as gay but this still is a concern and why I feel it can not just be allowed to go on. 




the thing is I have to consider my daughters too how that would affect them since my youngest is his daughter too.


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## WW38 (Nov 9, 2015)

sydalg said:


> I was raised by a very religious and old style values mom. I was in sort of a shock when even though i live thousands of miles away from them I learned that my younger sister was lesbian. I cried but didn't stop loving her. We are 3 girls and she was the one i identify the most with. I cried but I remember thinking and worrying about not being able to have niece and nephews who really love me as my relationship with the older sis never been the best. I learned later on my aunt which I didn't grow up with and met later on in life also has 3 kids and the yonger one is also a lesbian. This made me think and be more open to consider that some people may be born this way or its somehow embedded in the genes. We were never expose to any sexual behavior out of the norm and even thought I don't know how my aun raise her kids makes you wonder how is thhave always wonder how is that 2 sisters that didn't had any communication for over 30 years end up with their younger kids being lesbians. That being said I have always wonder how would I react if one of my kids ever confess something like that to me. I know I won stop loving them that's already set on my mind. So in your H case this would be just like any other situation; my kids come 1st. I am a mother before I am a woman so if he doesn't respect my kids then there will be nothing left for me to do other than being a mother and get a divorce. Sorry but I will always choose be a mother to my kids than a wife to any man. There are always exception like a kid being in drugs and not wanting to get help no matter how hard you tried so in that case then i will choose though love and cut them off up to the situation.!




Yeah I think it's definitely genetic not in the sense Dh says but I think its definitely genetic. Especially for men. I actually have found studies that support that t may be carried through female relatives. Which makes sense because my dad and uncle of whom Ive never seen in person were bisexual and gay respectively and were half brothers through their mother along with another cousin through my paternal grandmother is also gay. Plus my sons SD is also bisexual. The only studies I've heard about refered to it being carried through the maternal lineage. But that when man with the gene has a daughter the daughter can also carry it down the line again because it may be X linked. I'll post the link.

http://www.livescience.com/7056-mom-genetics-produce-gay-sons.html
It actually implies here women who have two or more sons who are gay may be more likely to pass the gene. My grandma had at least 2 bisexual/homosexual sons. And my only son is bisexual. I think it definitely has some truth to my family.


Yeah I agree the thing is like I said I have two daughters that he's fathered biologically and adopted. And I don't know how I'd figure out how to be financially stable without how Id raise 2 young children under the age of 6 plus my son who is in a few trouble situations. And the fact that I'd be messing up everything on something so small. I think everyone would hurt if we decided to divorce. It's a hard time. He's having a hard time getting through.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Cancel the subscription to Fox News and see if that helps. You might also want to try to keep your H occupied during the hours when talk radio is most active. it sounds like he has stopped seeing people as individuals and lumps people on groups. That way, not thinking is involved in how they are dealt with. The issue with your son is very troubling. If he can't get past that, he needs to go and go now and go far away so that he doesn't further destroy your son.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
It really doesn't matter why your son is bisexual - choice, genetics, epigentics - who cares. He is your and your DHs child and deserves your love and support.

Some day, hopefully far in the future, your DH or your son will be dying. At that point your DH will desperately wish that he had spent more time with his son, and would give anything to do so, but it will be too late. But there is time now.


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## WW38 (Nov 9, 2015)

Ynot said:


> Cancel the subscription to Fox News and see if that helps. You might also want to try to keep your H occupied during the hours when talk radio is most active. it sounds like he has stopped seeing people as individuals and lumps people on groups. That way, not thinking is involved in how they are dealt with. The issue with your son is very troubling. If he can't get past that, he needs to go and go now and go far away so that he doesn't further destroy your son.



He actually mocks talk radio and fox news and prefers cnn overall. He likes his news given to him with the least slant. We have that in common. He's fair towards most other people just not homosexuals plus because he doesn't see it in the same way. He's black/Mexican so he's a minority but he doesn't quite see them as people who are himself or myself. He sees it more like a criminal or like someone who did something wrong.


Mostly though to me this has absolutely nothing to do with him. And its not his business that's how I've always felt but it never was my concern before how he felt about other people.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

WW38 said:


> Ok My DH is very very conservative socially only thing he's not too conservative on is immigration. Other than that and school prayer he's very conservative. He is pro guns pro family values anti welfare against abortion against homosexuals very ignorant about the lgbt community and very proud of this. Doesn't want to know. Doesn't like to talk about it either. And that's the good side of it or has been that he doesn't like talking his beliefs in things like abortion or anything to do with the lgbt community. When he does say anything about it, he would refer to them as fairies or as broken individuals he has said to me that he wished they'd kill themselves and do the world a service that he thought they were abnormal that they were the result of sexual abuse that they needed medication that it was disgusting etc.... He genuinely has a distaste for this and that's for homosexual men or women he doesn't even believe in bisexuality for anyone and has said he has since he was 10 when he found out that homosexuals existed. It makes him uncomfortable. I'm personally more moderate I guess. I actually had an abortion when I was a single mom of my son. I consider myself straight but at one point I considered myself bisexual and was on welfare way back when I first had my DS. I am less conservative than him admittedly. I'm pro choice pro guns pro marriage equality and not antiwelfare. I'm more conservative on like things having to do with the penal system drugs etc. But it never was an issue. My past was never his concern. The thing is now we found out recently that my son has had a history of homosexual tendencies and he told me that he identifies as bisexual. He's 15 years old. My DH knows my DS had a same sex relationship. And they had a good a relationship before this. But now it's not good at all. It makes DH uncomfortable that my DS is in some form attracted to his same sex. One thing is it bothers my son that he calls him gay. Which is why he said he didn't want to come out because he didn't feel he would be any more fairly be acknowledged than before when he was in the closet and assumed to be straight. It leads to arguments. And secondly my DH is not very good handling this news. He has said many of the things I mentioned above. And he won't even touch him or go near him because he think he's carrying some type of even more dangerous disease. And it's really made our household the opposite of what it was before. I want to try marriage counseling. My DS has counseling for several reasons so that's figured out. But I still want things to work with DH even though we have different beliefs. It's like if he could get past this things could be a lot better never the same but maybe better. The thing is he doesn't seem to know how to make things work. He sometimes is like he doesn't want to accept anything other times he wants to but can't? Don't know. If it's possible though. Advice?



I'm all for immigration as long as they come in legally and have an education and some useful skill sets. My concern is Europe and the world is becoming Islamized. Meaning, many immigrants are Muslim and in the end everyone will have to convert to Islam under Sharia Law or be killed. That's coming, just give it time. Western world is too politically correct and doesn't want to discriminate to the point will will lose ourselves and what each of our own countries were founded on. Ask yourself this, would Muslim countries allow large amounts of Jews and Christians in the hundreds of thousands every year to slowly take over their countries? No. Jews and Christians disappear if you know what I mean. It's a one way street and no one is standing up to stop this.

I am pro life but I believe everyone has the right to chose whether to have an abortion or not. Moral free will and choice.

I don't agree with or support homosexuality for many obvious infinite reasons that everyone knows. Genes made me do it doesn't wash because it takes a man and a woman to conceive. Gay genes don't merge and get passed on since day one. So its not all genetic, its something else and the choices we make in life that lead to other choices and what society pushes on us and now says is acceptable.

If I did everything that I desired, I would be in big trouble. Its called moral free will and choice. Some use this and some just don't and say genes made me do it. Just because you desire something doesn't mean you have to go out and do it.

Now I've worked with gays and lesbians and bi sexual people in my working career. Some of the nicest people I've met and they never paraded it in my face, in the work place and just wanted to live their lives in peace. I have no issues with that.

If you don't agree with something or support it, do it in a respectful and loving way. No hatred and violence and picket signs.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

There's a difference between having views and being hateful. 

Which one do you think your husband falls into?

I am not sure I could continue a relationship with my H if he was being hateful to our child. Regardless of the reason. Children are individuals and will each grow to make their own set of choices and live their own lives. Some of that life will shock you and some of it you probably won't like. That's life. 

If we are not our child's "safe place to land", who will be?


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Regardless of whether we had a child or not, I'm not sure I could continue to be married to such a hateful, disgusting man as your husband OP. Sorry, but this is not a small issue. He needs help.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Since you value tolerance, why not let your husband be who he is, think how he thinks, believe how he believes? I suspect few fathers agree with every choice their 15 year old son makes. This is the man you married and you must have thought he was pretty great. He didn't wake up a few weeks ago holding the views he now holds. They weren't a show-stopper while you were dating him.
Whether your son is gay, straight, bi, Christian, Muslim, Left or Right, he's going to live in a world with other people who don't always agree with him. Your son is going to find the words and actions of some people to be offensive. Some people will find him offensive. Your son and your husband are both going to have to figure out how exist in this world with each other. 

You might characterize your husband as intolerant but you're the one on here trying to figure out how to change his beliefs and speech (because you find his views intolerable).


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

My DD14 had a girlfriend who is a twin, but actually sees much more if the twin boy because they sit at lunch together.

The way she described him, I asked if he was gay - my daughter said she thinks so. DD really likes him and likes to include him, but the girlfriend (his sister) had very conservative views and it makes DD uncomfortable.

The boy talked about homosexuality with his parents and his dad said if his kid was gay he'd take him to someone until he was "cured". This really upsets my daughter because she knows her friend won't be accepted by his own father if he comes out,

The parents are from Poland, and I guess just weren't exposed to alternate viewpoints and lifestyles so they are intolerant.

If I were in your shoes if probably expose DH to gay/bi people in a social setting. I would find out through the kids school or local library how to find a social setting that includes gay couples. If he can get to know people as people first and later find out about their sexual orientation, it might create an environment to discuss accepting and embracing your son as himself PLUS his sexuality. Your sexuality doesn't define you (or many people on TAM wouldn't exist  )

I know of many gay people and couples we've met through various school activities and sports.

The goal HAS to be to remove this as a wedge or judgement issue and create a safe environment for your son.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Ynot said:


> Cancel the subscription to Fox News and see if that helps.


Seriously. I used to have a relatively normal brother, until he got brainwashed by that propaganda. That was half the reason his wife divorced him. She couldn't take all the hate and self-righteousness anymore.

That said, you can't make him think what he doesn't think. You CAN, however, set strong boundaries. My H is no longer allowed to talk negative about our daughter, for instance. He knows it upsets me; I don't try to tell him what to think. But I DO tell him I won't sit there and listen to it. So when he starts, I just say "let's change the subject, please" and if he doesn't, I leave the room or get out of the car.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

People here just to bandy politics need to go back to the politics corner.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

turnera said:


> Seriously. I used to have a relatively normal brother, until he got brainwashed by that propaganda. That was half the reason his wife divorced him. She couldn't take all the hate and self-righteousness anymore.
> 
> That said, you can't make him think what he doesn't think. You CAN, however, set strong boundaries. My H is no longer allowed to talk negative about our daughter, for instance. He knows it upsets me; I don't try to tell him what to think. But I DO tell him I won't sit there and listen to it. So when he starts, I just say "let's change the subject, please" and if he doesn't, I leave the room or get out of the car.


Ironically enough, I think part of the reason my wife left me was because I did turn off the propaganda. Once I started thinking for myself, my opinions no longer mattered. Apparently some people need an echo chamber, lest they have are forced to engage their thought processes.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Starstarfish said:


> People here just to bandy politics need to go back to the politics corner.


A topic was raised and is being discussed. Perhaps you could attempt to gain some insight from the thoughts rather than be offended?


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Whether or not I'm offended is secondary to the point that the General Forum is for discussing -relationships- not people to list in what ways they do or do not agree with the husband's views or take zingers at the OP based on their political views. That's off-topic and we have a forum for that.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Your son needs to feel loved and accepted at home. 

My daughter is gay, and if anyone, partner husband or anyone said anything hateful or negative about her, I'd ask them to leave. 

People who don't agree with being gay or believe in in being gay, make me laugh at the ridiculousness of saying such things. 

I feel very sorry for your son, and I always believe that people who hate on immigrants, gay people and other minorities, do so because they are mean miserable people. Their lives are lacking or they need to inflate their egos by putting others down. I couldn't live with a man like that.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

What is your husband so afraid of? He can't catch it off a toilet seat and it certainly can't be called cooties.

Perhaps he is afraid that given his ethnicity this new development could make him even more of a minority? Newsflash: your son's sexuality has nothing to do with your husband. Your son is not proclaiming to be bisexual just to p!ss off the old man. Your husband needs to get a grip on his insecurities. 

Have a conversation wherein you advise him that he is welcome to his personal opinions; but, if they turn hateful he is not to voice them. He is not to ever call your son a name (how old is your husband?).


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

Stagnant brains annoy the bejeesus outta me.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I would like to clarify a couple of issues...Is your husband your sons biological father? Do you and your husband have children together?

You broke a lot of hearts when you revealed your husband wasn't a white bigot that lives on Fox news....Several had jumped on that bandwagon before you revealed he was black and of Mexican heritage...

Your son is going to have to come to grips with his sexuality....A person who engages in sex with members of the same sex is homosexual....His objection with being called gay is something he is going to have to reconcile within himself. He is going to be gay his entire life...

You and your husband seem to be a good match except for this issue. Does your son live in the home full time, or does he spend some time with his biological dad?....

If you feel it is absolutely necessary for your husband to whole heartedly embrace homosexuality as a way of life, divorce him now...

If you feel he has the right to his own opinions (Not popular among some in this thread)...Work with him and your son to avoid conflict over this subject...Both need to mature and grow....


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

ynot said:


> cancel the subscription to fox news and see if that helps. You might also want to try to keep your h occupied during the hours when talk radio is most active. It sounds like he has stopped seeing people as individuals and lumps people on groups. That way, not thinking is involved in how they are dealt with. The issue with your son is very troubling. If he can't get past that, he needs to go and go now and go far away so that he doesn't further destroy your son.


*open mouth...remove foot...*


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

turnera said:


> Seriously. I used to have a relatively normal brother, until he got brainwashed by that propaganda. That was half the reason his wife divorced him. She couldn't take all the hate and self-righteousness anymore.
> 
> That said, you can't make him think what he doesn't think. You CAN, however, set strong boundaries. My H is no longer allowed to talk negative about our daughter, for instance. He knows it upsets me; I don't try to tell him what to think. But I DO tell him I won't sit there and listen to it. So when he starts, I just say "let's change the subject, please" and if he doesn't, I leave the room or get out of the car.


Fox News is communist compared to much of the internet. Inverse sites for the other side also exist.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

frusdil said:


> Regardless of whether we had a child or not, I'm not sure I could continue to be married to such a hateful, disgusting man as your husband OP. Sorry, but this is not a small issue. He needs help.


Are you always so un accepting of people who have opinions different from yours...That seems to be the anthesis of a truly liberal mindset....Hateful and disgusting are words used by bigots...


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> What is your husband so afraid of? He can't catch it off a toilet seat and it certainly can't be called cooties.
> 
> Perhaps he is afraid that given his ethnicity this new development could make him even more of a minority? Newsflash: your son's sexuality has nothing to do with your husband. Your son is not proclaiming to be bisexual just to p!ss off the old man. Your husband needs to get a grip on his insecurities.
> 
> Have a conversation wherein you advise him that he is welcome to his personal opinions; but, if they turn hateful he is not to voice them. He is not to ever call your son a name (how old is your husband?).


Finally a useful comment.....


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Woodchuck said:


> Are you always so un accepting of people who have opinions different from yours...That seems to be the anthesis of a truly liberal mindset....Hateful and disgusting are words used by bigots...


We're you looking in the mirror when you posted that?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Is it possible that your husband thinks that your son chose this lifestyle? Some dilettantes have tried it on for size and before you know it they're with the opposite sex and sporting a baby around town.

People who did not choose to be attracted to their own sex could no more of chosen it then they could have picked out their own eye color or nose or hair or height.

There's little enough love in this world, why deny love to two people just because the idea raises the hair on the back of your neck (it could have been the wind, you know).


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
there is a very wide range in human sexuality, "gay" and "straight" really aren't enough to cover it. I see no reason the son can't identify with whatever term he thinks fits best. If he enjoys sexual activities with both men and women, then Bi seems like an appropriate term.

If his behavior changes at some point in his life, he can self-describe as something else. 

To me, it really doesn't matter. The only restriction I would put on hi is that he be honest with his intimate partners about his interest / expectations. 




Woodchuck said:


> snip
> Your son is going to have to come to grips with his sexuality....A person who engages in sex with members of the same sex is homosexual....His objection with being called gay is something he is going to have to reconcile within himself. He is going to be gay his entire life...
> snip


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## EnigmaGirl (Feb 7, 2015)

I don't understand why people think that gay people need approval of their lifestyle from others.

It doesn't matter if your husband agrees or disagrees with being gay. All that means is that he's not interested in having a romantic relationship with another man. As far as anyone else's life goes, his consent isn't required...its none of his damned business.

Its absolutely hateful and sick what he's doing to your child. I have a gay stepson and you have no idea how bad the long-term effects of this could be. As a mother, I can tell you...there's no way I'd tolerate this in my household towards my own child. You have a duty to protect your children...physically and emotionally...and what he's doing is tantamount to abuse.

The same thing is true for the abortion issue. He's male...so unless he can push a fetus out of his ****, his opinion is irrelevant. I'm female and my opinion on abortion is only relevant to me and my own body. I have no right to impose my choices and beliefs on others.

I really wish people like your husband would butt the hell out of the rights of other people. I honestly don't understand his type...I wouldn't spend a minute of time in the company of someone like that.


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## WW38 (Nov 9, 2015)

uhh no lol we're actually both muslims. And we don't believe in Sharia law. Nor do we believe in killing anyone. That's more a tradition of some more barbaric cultures hiding under the guise of religion. And as a Muslim we believe Christians and jews are under the same faith and practice. There's no compulsory conversion. It's kind of a long story though. We're not immigrants either. Many black americans are muslims. It's actually how both me and hubby were raised muslim due to coming from black American families. I'm simply black and both my mother and father were raised muslim. And so forth.


The study I was mentioning actually was talking about it being passed down in families. I feel in my family it may very well be true because of how it's affected three generations and I hardly know my father's family tree. I have never met anyone on my dad's side. And my cousin never knew my uncle or father yet they all turned out gay or bisexual. It just seems like it's familial. To me. And I don't know really to me I'm rather neutral on the matter. To me it's kind of what's good for the goose is good for the gander when it comes to sexuality. But good for you that you have an opinion.




CuddleBug said:


> I'm all for immigration as long as they come in legally and have an education and some useful skill sets. My concern is Europe and the world is becoming Islamized. Meaning, many immigrants are Muslim and in the end everyone will have to convert to Islam under Sharia Law or be killed. That's coming, just give it time. Western world is too politically correct and doesn't want to discriminate to the point will will lose ourselves and what each of our own countries were founded on. Ask yourself this, would Muslim countries allow large amounts of Jews and Christians in the hundreds of thousands every year to slowly take over their countries? No. Jews and Christians disappear if you know what I mean. It's a one way street and no one is standing up to stop this.
> 
> I am pro life but I believe everyone has the right to chose whether to have an abortion or not. Moral free will and choice.
> 
> ...


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## WW38 (Nov 9, 2015)

Woodchuck said:


> I would like to clarify a couple of issues...Is your husband your sons biological father? Do you and your husband have children together?
> 
> You broke a lot of hearts when you revealed your husband wasn't a white bigot that lives on Fox news....Several had jumped on that bandwagon before you revealed he was black and of Mexican heritage...
> 
> ...


Um no he's not my son's father. His father is not a safe place at all. That's why he's not in his life any longer. He really wasn't before that either though. My DH is the best father my DS knows.


And no my son identifies as bisexual not homosexual or gay. He's actually seeing a girl currently. Which is another problem. Because my DH won't just accept that silently. Which is what I don't want to get out of hand. The way he sees it is deception and doesn't agree with it and won't be silent and mind his own damn business.


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## sydalg (Nov 8, 2015)

He actually mocks talk radio and fox news and prefers cnn overall. He likes his news given to him with the least slant. We have that in common. He's fair towards most other people just not homosexuals plus because he doesn't see it in the same way. He's black/Mexican so he's a minority but he doesn't quite see them as people who are himself or myself. He sees it more like a criminal or like someone who did something wrong.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Ok I am ???? Regards his position with inmigration. I am a Puerto Rican so yes I am legal, was born legal and even my great grandparents are due PR status of being territory of USA for over 100 years now. This doesn't really affect me but, as a Hispanic and more so as human been with common sense how the #%*+ he being a minority sees them as criminals as a whole?


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

WW38 said:


> When he does say anything about it, he would refer to them as fairies or as broken individuals he has said to me that he wished they'd kill themselves and do the world a service


Even as a child, I never understood the hatred towards gay people. In my childish teenage years, I'd joke that I wish all other men were gay so I'd have endless women chasing me. As an adult, I really don't care if some man is gay or not. What injustice have they actually done to straight people? 

Anyway, I would have some difficulty being married to someone who thinks that gay people should kill themselves as a service to the world.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> Are you always so un accepting of people who have opinions different from yours...That seems to be the anthesis of a truly liberal mindset....Hateful and disgusting are words used by bigots...


Not at all. I respect anyone's right to their own opinion. I do not respect people who air those opinions in a cruel fashion, as the OP's husband does.


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## WW38 (Nov 9, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> What is your husband so afraid of? He can't catch it off a toilet seat and it certainly can't be called cooties.
> 
> Perhaps he is afraid that given his ethnicity this new development could make him even more of a minority? Newsflash: your son's sexuality has nothing to do with your husband. Your son is not proclaiming to be bisexual just to p!ss off the old man. Your husband needs to get a grip on his insecurities.
> 
> Have a conversation wherein you advise him that he is welcome to his personal opinions; but, if they turn hateful he is not to voice them. He is not to ever call your son a name (how old is your husband?).


he's afraid of things like aids. Says people like my son carry special diseases.

And no my son is I guess a technical minority in the fact that he's not a girl. But my son isn't the same ethnic background as my DH. My son's father is of Caucasian descent. I doubt that's at all the reason. He doesn't think our son chooses to be bisexual. He thinks he's messed mainly due to sexual abuse and the like and needs therapy so maybe he can be "normal" he doesn't see it as a choice to bother someone though.

I have told him and he still says things not to him or about him but about others while he's in earshot.


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## WW38 (Nov 9, 2015)

Blondilocks said:


> Is it possible that your husband thinks that your son chose this lifestyle? Some dilettantes have tried it on for size and before you know it they're with the opposite sex and sporting a baby around town.
> 
> People who did not choose to be attracted to their own sex could no more of chosen it then they could have picked out their own eye color or nose or hair or height.
> 
> There's little enough love in this world, why deny love to two people just because the idea raises the hair on the back of your neck (it could have been the wind, you know).



Technically I'd say he did in the sense that he is bisexual and has a choice to pursue whatever attraction in whomever he decides. The problem with my husband is he think he needs to be fixed when he's not broken to begin with. That's how he sees it is being an abnormal defect and needs to see someone to help him. That's I guess his way of feeling as though he cares. It's not his life to decide that or view it that way though.




unbelievable said:


> Since you value tolerance, why not let your husband be who he is, think how he thinks, believe how he believes? I suspect few fathers agree with every choice their 15 year old son makes. This is the man you married and you must have thought he was pretty great. He didn't wake up a few weeks ago holding the views he now holds. They weren't a show-stopper while you were dating him.
> Whether your son is gay, straight, bi, Christian, Muslim, Left or Right, he's going to live in a world with other people who don't always agree with him. Your son is going to find the words and actions of some people to be offensive. Some people will find him offensive. Your son and your husband are both going to have to figure out how exist in this world with each other.
> 
> You might characterize your husband as intolerant but you're the one on here trying to figure out how to change his beliefs and speech (because you find his views intolerable).



I was fine with his beliefs I come from a family with similar ideas as well. It's just impeding in my son's life which is what I object to. He doesn't agree with the fact that my son is bisexual but he also voices this in a poisonous manner.


TheTruthHurts said:


> My DD14 had a girlfriend who is a twin, but actually sees much more if the twin boy because they sit at lunch together.
> 
> The way she described him, I asked if he was gay - my daughter said she thinks so. DD really likes him and likes to include him, but the girlfriend (his sister) had very conservative views and it makes DD uncomfortable.
> 
> ...


that's the thing with my DH he can know someone for a while the second he knows they are anything but straight he's all turned on them his only exception is people who are intersex. That's the only noncisgender people he won't all the way turn on. And people who identify as asexual I think other than that never it seems


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