# Husband addicted to cannibis



## Sacremento

Hi apologies in advance but this may be long. My husband is addicted to cannibis. Some would say not a big deal, but in my life it is a massive deal since although undiagnosed I swear my husband suffers from drug induced pyschosis. Ok I'm not a doctor but his GP has referred him urgently to mental health. I was waiting for the referral to come through as that felt like light at the end of a very dark tunnel. He smokes and becomes a monster, if he isn't verbally abusing me he is talking the most amount of crap I have ever heard. He claims cannibis high makes him more intelligent, and artistic. However it makes him disjointed and come across as he is rambling and very narcissistic. When he isn't smoking (after it wears off) he is the opposite absolutely lovely. His latest he left the house today and all was fine but I knew he was going to smoke. He has been smoking for the past 18 months. His latest he returned home kissed me after 10 minutes of him sending tweets to himself!!!! Then he said from today onwards when he is in the house I should only communicate with him by text or via Facebook!!!! He has moved into the living room and that is the end of it. If I 'love' him I should accept that he wants this. He just topped it off with a text message that makes lots of sense(verbatum):

'today I want a divorce. Before I go to sleep every night I will send you my last message. In it I will right if today I want a divorce or I want a wife. By valentine day I will count which one weighs more. If divorce is something I want everyday that I live with you, them I will have the paperwork ready for you to sign on April's pay day. It's a Friday for me.#ioUaxxam'

So when he smokes weed he doesn't want to be married and when he isn't on it I'm the best bloody thing that has happened to him and he is blessed I am in his life!!! He is very insecure when he isn't on weed and is frustrated with his job. I noticed a pattern that when he had bad days at work he would smoke. I earn more than him and that seems to bother him, hence his frustrations with work. I tried to involve his family, they have seen it full effect and I was glad as it meant they could understand he needs help. I guess so far I haven't given enough examples of the crazy activities but it was enough for his GP to refer him to mental health. His family decided that I am to blame, apparently his mothers logic - I should quit my job as it is a reminder to him ( what century is she in). His dad has alcohol addiction so she is imparting great advice - stick by your husband forget about what you want!

Examples, he decided whilst high he has cancer! He announced it on twitter and called his boss and took time off work! I was cringing when his work came home to discuss the cancer! His latest today is that he is 'disabled' by short term memory loss (hello it is the weed that makes him forgetful). He has had bouts where he is conducting experiments so I'm not allowed to use the water in the house at all. His artistic side that comes out is disturbing. His cousin once started laughing, when I asked her why she was laughing she said she was nervous because the pictures look like a crazy person has done them. He goes out and about and pretends to be deaf or blind or both, clearly sane people know he isn't.

All in all I'm waffling on and now at the end of my tether because I know there is a great person in there, I feel as his wife I should see him through this as his family will turn a blind eye and whether I stay or leave I will be the reason for his addiction. Equally I feel like its time to go and not look back, I feel stupid for allowing myself to be treated in this way but I know he is ill. He is making me feel insane! I need help

I couldn't post this last night as he switched the wifi off! This morning he comes in my room asking what time I'm going to work. I mentioned to him that he said I was not to speak to him only via text- to which he replied - I thought I would be civil today. What the hell!


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## EleGirl

Maybe you could video tape him when he's high and show him what he's like. 

However, when he came in this morning and said that he thought he would be civil, he was not high, right? This means that he is remembering what he things and does when he is high. Could this be an act to get on disability? Has he ever mentioned getting on it?

I agree that this might be the time to leave. YOu cannot fix this. He has to hit rock bottom before he will face up to what he is doing.

How old are the two of you and how long have you been married?


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## Sacremento

EleGirl said:


> Maybe you could video tape him when he's high and show him what he's like.
> 
> However, when he came in this morning and said that he thought he would be civil, he was not high, right? This means that he is remembering what he things and does when he is high. Could this be an act to get on disability? Has he ever mentioned getting on it?
> 
> I agree that this might be the time to leave. YOu cannot fix this. He has to hit rock bottom before he will face up to what he is doing.
> 
> How old are the two of you and how long have you been married?


We are both 37 been together around 11 years married for 7 coming up to 8 in march. Lol he called me this morning and chatted to me like nothing happened. I often don't know how to react since to the outside world I'm the difficult one as they don't see what he is like to me. I haven't filmed him but I have recorded many conversations or should I say outbursts. Thinking about it now I can't think why I'm even recording it. Maybe if I listen it will give me the push to leave. We went away over Xmas and it was pure bliss no drugs for 20 days. This is what makes it hard as he was himself. This is something (drugs) he did before we married he was badly affected whilst we dated, talking in another voice keeping me up for days on end with stupid conspiracies etc. we got married and moved away from his stoner network and he was clean for over 6 years. Then one day he said he really wanted to do it. I relented and that was it. He spent 5 hours talking about a spoon! He didn't really stop since then. He created an art piece on a mirror I have and I get embarrassed when ppl come over as it is a scrawl at best but he is so proud of his art! I then noticed when he was frustrated with work he would smoke heavily and start dressing like a hobo and chatting crap. I've tried to be supportive but this is hurting me. I did move out last year for 3 months, he asked me back and he did stop for 3 months- the trigger to stop was he tried to strangle me whilst I was sleeping - he doesn't remember or chooses to deny it I don't know which! He once pinned me on the bed as I came out the shower and wouldn't get off me so I bit him hard on his shoulder to move him off me. He touts this to his family saying he is an abused husband and he is really scared of me!!! I'm stupid as I'm writing it here when really I know what I should do but I find it so difficult
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude

Pot smokers talk sh-t but they aren't violent. As for making him intelligent... no, that's an illusion the drug brings. Marijuana isn't chemically addictive but it sure is addictive in other ways.

Looks like he needs rehab, pronto. And if you really had enough of it, and if you want change, you need an ultimatum. You can't deal with an addict the same way as you can with other folks.


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## CallaLily

You need to set boundaries, and if he crosses those boundaries then there should be consequences, and if those consequences mean you leave then you do. Most people don't learn unless there are consequences for their actions put into place, and sometimes they still don't learn. You need to take care of you, its all you can do right now.


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## PBear

When is his referral? Personally, I wouldn't put up with it, but that's me. By doing so, you're telling him that his behaviour is acceptable to you, and he has no reason to quit as long as you continue enabling him.

C


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## MrsOldNews

Pot doesn't make you act crazy but it might enhance the crazy. I seriously wouldn't blame the pot, I'd blame him. 

For instance there are many studies put there that show pot to aggravate conditions like bi polar and schizophrenia (can't remember any others off hand)


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## Sacremento

Thank you all I appreciate that ppl have taken the time and consideration. I've felt so alone for so long that this is touching and makes me feel strong. I get made redundant from work next week. I plan to book a ticket and just go and not look back. Enough is enough and my sanity has been compromised far too much. I love him dearly but his behavior on cannibis is controlling and mysgonistic. It is the only option for us both to separate and cut our losses. This isn't what I'd hoped from marriage and I took my vows seriously but when your husband tells you he doesn't want to be married to you and has never needed me and doesn't want me - that is the end! Apparently it's because I never 'loved' him! This is the hardest thing I am doing in my life , trust me I've known hard times in my life but always dealt with what life had thrown at me and smiled at the other end. Far from perfect myself but the writing is on the wall.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sacremento

It's strange how the universe lines things up, god I sound like him now. But the redundancy from work felt like a blessing to me and I have been counting down the days to when I can go. He knows no consequence and is so self involved that me leaving us a self fulfilling prophecy as he will play victim with I knew she would just leave me. I am not his mother who has put up with an alcoholic for 40 years and has no sense of who she is anymore. We all have choices he chooses to take a drug that alters him, me staying is a choice but I'm sending the wrong message that I accept being treated this way. Oh my where has this clarity come from
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude

> I took my vows seriously *but when your husband tells you he doesn't want to be married to you and has never needed me and doesn't want me - that is the end*


Oh...

Well in that case, regardless of the cannabis (blame him not the grass btw), fk it. It's good you're taking a stand, in the end it looks like he himself has set the stage in motion.


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## Sacremento

RandomDude said:


> Oh...
> 
> Well in that case, regardless of the cannabis (blame him not the grass btw), fk it. It's good you're taking a stand, in the end it looks like he himself has set the stage in motion.


Well that's when he is on the weed, when he has been off it I am the best thing in his life and he can't believe his fortune in having me in his life blah blah blah is all I hear now. You see I believe he loves me etc but I don't like to believe he doesn't want me etc. this has happened so much that I only recently made that realization that I'm readily accept the good and fight the bad
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## southern wife

This doesn't sound like a case of a pot smoker. :scratchhead: Sounds like he's using harder substances. JMO


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## Sacremento

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sacremento

Seriously he really isn't using harder substances but nowadays who knows where the weed is coming from and made! It really has that effect on him. It's like the ppl who advised me and they are pot smokers they tell me that it's an issue with him and stop blaming the pot. So yes I'm turning to that viewpoint. I'm leaving its unbearable, I leave on the 20th and don't intend to look back. Now I've taken marriage vow blinkers off I'm starting to see I've made myself a victim and he is treating me like a doormat. I deserve better and hopefully he will normalize. God harder substances don't bear thinking about if this his reaction to pot. I see it like this I have an intolerance to morphine, when it is administered to me I'm hell I end up wrenching and throwing up constantly and can barely lift my head of the pillow. Another person has it and they are fine. Horses for courses
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## triggerhappy

I have never heard weed having that reaction on anyone, ever. I grew up in an environment where people smoked weed as a part of life, and never, have I witnessed a fraction of what you've described. I myself smoke pot every few months, and I don't behave that way at all. I'm actually able to fully function in life (cook, clean, go out and have fun, even work). He clearly has psychotic episodes that are triggered when he smokes pot, but people don't behave that way. If I knew any people who behaved that way smoking pot, drinking or anything, I'd be like _eff this_! He sounds so ridiculous and immature. 


Have you tried recording him and showing him to prove how stupid he looks and behaves?


You are seriously describing someone who uses crystal meth. Make sure you know what he's smoking. Soup to nuts it's not weed, and I find it hard to believe that even if he had underlying psychosis, it would make him trigger like that. 


Are you familiar with what weed is? how it's suppose to taste and smell? something is telling me he's smoking meth, not weed. He sounds like a tweeker. 

I had a neighbor who acted just like that, total nutcase, and he was a meth-addict.


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## Sacremento

Hey thanks but I am serious I know weed is a green plant like thing. I know the smell and hey many moons ago university days I made weed cakes! So I am well acquainted with it. Although I never ate those cakes or ever smoked it. I believe that this brings psychotic episodes in him and I have recorded many ramblings hey go onto twitter and follow him xxi_c and see the pictures he does and all his references to smoking wood. He truly believes he has created a code for twitter and mainly writes in hash tags! It's all nonsense! I've found he hides the weed I found it taped to the back of his drivers license and I see the joint ends all over the place. Hey he has told me to amputate my leg off while he was high, and said he couldn't remain married to me unless I did that! Go figure. From the 19th it's not my problem. Can't believe I've lived this nightmare life for the past 18months
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sacremento

Reading the responses I actually feel like I'm the mad one! I know what I see and as unbelievable as it sounds this is weed that does it to him
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GTdad

Sacremento said:


> Hey he has told me to amputate my leg off while he was high, and said he couldn't remain married to me unless I did that!


Oh boy. Yes, you putting some distance between yourself and this fruitloop sounds like a very wise plan.


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## GTdad

Sacremento said:


> Reading the responses I actually feel like I'm the mad one! I know what I see and as unbelievable as it sounds this is weed that does it to him
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I believe you. as has been mentioned, it sounds entirely reasonable that pot could exacerbate some underlying disorders or quirks.

But back in the day, all I wanted to do was order a pizza, fool around, and maybe watch "The Wall".


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## triggerhappy

Sacremento said:


> Reading the responses I actually feel like I'm the mad one! I know what I see and as unbelievable as it sounds this is weed that does it to him
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No, you're not the mad one, it's just that I never heard of anyone behaving that way with pot. Anything is possible.

Could it be that he's mixing, or that he smoked the other thing and uses weed as a cover-up. You'd be surprised the lengths drug addicts go through to hide their habit. They are sick people.

There are ways to see if his weed is laced. Maybe he doesn't know it is.

Other - How to tell if your cannabis is laced with meth - Drugs Forum


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## Sacremento

Thanks for the info. Much appreciated
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wifeandmother10

I would just remind him of the trip:how he was drug free and it was awesome. "The marijuana effects you; Remember our trip? You didn't smoke and we had a great time. Please can we live like that again?"

That is if you wanted to still.

Quitting is hard. And that's what spouses can be great for:support.

I also feel like too maybe in regards to his behavior maybe look at it less harshly. He is just silly. When my husband gets on a roll saying something it is usually something silly or that I could argue with but when I just look at his cute face I just want to smile and let him keep talking.
HOWEVER.. with him doing that 15 days to decide to divorce or w/e that's so dumb and I could totally see how you could be done.
While I am a believer in marriage I am also a believer in divorce.
Good luck to you whatever you decide. Neither seems easy and both choices take strength. It is sad to see love lost.


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## Sacremento

Ahhhh it's frustrating as I don't seem to get through to him. This week he hasn't gone to work - he is apparently teaching them (work) a lesson. He also went around the house and scattered petals every where - apparently blessing the house! The petals are not to be removed till Thursday - as that is the day he says the whole house has to be tidied! He told me I should find help for my frustrations - regardless of the fact he is the one driving me insane. He told me I don't deliver what he wants from a marriage - so with clarity what he wants from a wife is someone that cooks fresh meals and keeps a tidy house - apparently I don't deliver on that! Lord knows what he has been eating since I do cook fresh others have always laughed at how I always learn new dishes etc and experiment. As for tidying the house, my house is tidy however because things are where I want them he doesn't feel part of the home! Omg apparently I deliver on everything else. He has now run out of weed so this is the second day where he is normalising and guess what no outbursts etc. no text messages re divorce. So I have spoken to him and told him I will be leaving we are having a break. I leave in a week, and everyday I am getting stronger in my resolve. I told him he keeps making demands of me and telling me how he wants things yet I have never made any and never had my say. I do also believe in marriage I guess that's why I've been living with the hope things would sort out, but as I previously said my marriage vow blinkers are removed and I feel empowered and taking control of my choices in life. Get rid of the victim I've allowed myself to become, whether he will ever realise he isn't treating me right who knows!


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## Dollystanford

I smoked it for a long time - my ex husband has been smoking it for 25 years. Never seen this kind of reaction in either of us or anyone I know who smokes (and we smoked A LOT) . I do believe it's a trigger if you have a tendency to psychosis and I do believe that the stuff you get now is much stronger (in fact I know it is). I gave up cold turkey - it was far easier than giving up cigarettes - but like anything you have to want to

Good luck - you are living with someone with mental health problems, weed or not, and that's a challenge. Are there any carers support groups you can access where you are?


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## Sacremento

I'm in the UK, I had started going to families anonymous group. I found it useful, but when I eventually told my husband he made remarks about it saying he couldn't see why I had a need to go there. I'm very appreciative of all the responses but really feel tired of this whole episode if my life. My thoughts are on the future and making the transition. I spend way too much time thinking about what his family will think of me but they left me all alone and turned the other way. I'm just wondering whether I let them know when I leave and ask them to take over or leave him to fester. I've heard from a friend at work he was disciplined at work last Monday put on a performance development plan. Hence that's what I've always suspected as an initial trigger then he just continues doing it. It's weird as today he is normalizing and with him not going to work he has no access to weed that I know of, therefore by the time I leave he will be fine
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wifeandmother10

I hope he is still clean when you return


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## Sacremento

I'm returning specifically for my brothers wedding which will be 7 weeks after I leave. Hopefully that us enough time for us both to do this the right way and actually both talk. I'm not gonna hold my breath though. My focus is me for the 7 weeks then my baby brothers wedding!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrK

Sacremento said:


> I'm returning specifically for my brothers wedding which will be 7 weeks after I leave. Hopefully that us enough time for us both to do this the right way and actually both talk. I'm not gonna hold my breath though.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There is a chance you can fix him. When you leave, make sure he knows it's forever and make sure he knows it's his fault. 

I drove my wife away. I knew I was doing it. I didn't know how bad it was, however. When I found out she left the marriage years prior, and that it was MY FAULT, I changed immediately. I didn't even have to try. My DNA changed. NO WAY was I going to behave in such a manor that caused my marriage to end. 

No way. 

Even if he comes to you crying with the results of a urine test that shows he's been clean for that entire 7 weeks. Stay strong. Tell him that's not long enough. Make sure he gets the mental help he needs. (I agree that the pot exacerbates the mental problem he has).

It's simple, really. He quits pot for good or loses you forever.


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## ShawnD

EleGirl said:


> Maybe you could video tape him when he's high and show him what he's like.


Or post it on youtube and share the link on TAM. 



> I smoked it for a long time - my ex husband has been smoking it for 25 years. Never seen this kind of reaction in either of us or anyone I know who smokes (and we smoked A LOT) . I do believe it's a trigger if you have a tendency to psychosis and I do believe that the stuff you get now is much stronger (in fact I know it is). I gave up cold turkey - it was far easier than giving up cigarettes - but like anything you have to want to


It might also be triggered by other drugs he is taking. Is the guy already on psych meds? I saw someone smoke a joint after taking Dexedrine, and that caused a pretty bad reaction. One of my friends says drinking alcohol then smoking a joint doesn't mix well either. I'm really curious what mixing antipsychotics or mood stabilizers with weed looks like.


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## Going Mental

I have in the past 6 months permanently separated from my husband after 22 years (18 married) who had a worsening pot addiction in all that time. It does not get better, it only gets worse and that is without any underlying/developing mental health issues. As much as I loved him, I refused to allow the green mistress in our marriage any longer. 

Whilst I will give him his due, he did quit. HOWEVER I was so emotionally, physically & spiritually exhausted, I had nothing left to give for his rehab/healing process. This is where you will end up if you focus your life on him.

The most important thing that you can do right now is to look after yourself. Focus on something that is simply for you. For me it was a big thing - losing weight. For you it might be taking up a hobby you have been putting off, catching up with long overdue nights out with your friends etc. Fill your emotional jug, so you have the strength to deal with whatever comes your way.

All the best, I do hope you find some peace in whatever you decide is the best for you. xxoo


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

RandomDude said:


> Pot smokers talk sh-t but they aren't violent.


You haven't met my ex h. He is as violent as they come. He was high when he nearly took the life of my child and I. He smoked 24/7. Couldn't hold a job, he is abusive and a cheater. It effects different people in different ways.

OP, this is a major deal breaker for me. I won't allow myself to live with any adult using any illegal substances or an alcoholic. Once an addict, always an addict. It's a life long situation. Usually once one addiction is overcome, another one starts. This is what I've experienced with other family members as well. If my children ever decide to "experiment" or indulge themselves in this type of behavior, you bet I'd step in.


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## Sunbubble

Please look into material discussing the schizophrenia which may be triggered in some drug users (several great videos on Youtube if you do not have time to read) - then show it to him, asking for an opinion. Once you have that, it will be clear what to do next. Do not wait.


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## tryingtoturnitaround

After reading this I am shocked by the way he is treating you! Rehab is definitley needed as is anger management! I worry that its only going to get worse! Please tell me he doesnt physically abuse when he is high? I wuld definitley get out of this situation at least til he gets some professional help! What if he becomes abusive to the point of holding you hostage or something? Get out of there and let him get the help he needs, then work on putting the pieces back together if need be!


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## MattMatt

RandomDude said:


> P*ot smokers talk sh-t but they aren't violent.* As for making him intelligent... no, that's an illusion the drug brings. Marijuana isn't chemically addictive but it sure is addictive in other ways.
> 
> Looks like he needs rehab, pronto. And if you really had enough of it, and if you want change, you need an ultimatum. You can't deal with an addict the same way as you can with other folks.


Oh, really? Does marijuana use lead to aggression and violen... [J Drug Educ. 2011] - PubMed - NCBI


> Abstract: Marijuana use and violent behavior are causing widespread public concern. This article reviews theory and research on the relation between marijuana use and aggressive/violent behavior.


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## MattMatt

southern wife said:


> This doesn't sound like a case of a pot smoker. :scratchhead: Sounds like he's using harder substances. JMO


Sadly, it sounds *exactly* like some of the people in the UK who are smoking Skunk Cannabis. I have seen people get really messed up on it.

There's also artificial cannabis some dealers are selling. That seriously damages users. And their families.


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## MattMatt

triggerhappy said:


> I have never heard weed having that reaction on anyone, ever. I grew up in an environment where people smoked weed as a part of life, and never, have I witnessed a fraction of what you've described. I myself smoke pot every few months, and I don't behave that way at all. I'm actually able to fully function in life (cook, clean, go out and have fun, even work). He clearly has psychotic episodes that are triggered when he smokes pot, but people don't behave that way. If I knew any people who behaved that way smoking pot, drinking or anything, I'd be like _eff this_! He sounds so ridiculous and immature.
> 
> 
> Have you tried recording him and showing him to prove how stupid he looks and behaves?
> 
> 
> You are seriously describing someone who uses crystal meth. Make sure you know what he's smoking. Soup to nuts it's not weed, and I find it hard to believe that even if he had underlying psychosis, it would make him trigger like that.
> 
> 
> Are you familiar with what weed is? how it's suppose to taste and smell? something is telling me he's smoking meth, not weed. He sounds like a tweeker.
> 
> I had a neighbor who acted just like that, total nutcase, and he was a meth-addict.


It's exactly like people I know who smoke Skunk cannabis. It's very strong and dangerous.


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## MattMatt

Dollystanford said:


> I smoked it for a long time - my ex husband has been smoking it for 25 years. Never seen this kind of reaction in either of us or anyone I know who smokes (and we smoked A LOT) . I do believe it's a trigger if you have a tendency to psychosis and I do believe that the stuff you get now is much stronger (in fact I know it is). I gave up cold turkey - it was far easier than giving up cigarettes - but like anything you have to want to
> 
> Good luck - you are living with someone with mental health problems, weed or not, and that's a challenge. Are there any carers support groups you can access where you are?


Dolly, Sacramento's husband is exactly like a lot of the heavy cannabis users where I live!

It's not like the nice cannabis I used to smoke back in the day. This smells bloody awful and makes people weirdo paranoiacs.


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## Sacremento

Update!! 
So I left but was unable to take my things, everyday I received messages from him. I had to return to get my things and sort out a few interviews I have. So while I was away his family kept calling me and I knew he was getting high constantly. Anyway he announced we got divorced on the 3rd of march!!! I thought great when do I get the paperwork! He said his lawyer had drafted the paperwork and I would receive it on my return. On my return I decided to be amicable and asked for the paperwork, to which I got told we are divorced however I will never ever see the paperwork since he got married for life !!! He told me that if he had to get married a thousand times it would always be with me!!! But I need to understand that he isn't answerable to me and I have no right to know who he is with or etc as we are now divorced! So I said judging that apparently paperwork has been drafted I expect to have it within a week else I will start proceedings - he said he refuses to sign!! Grrrr! So I'm slowly moving my stuff out and will hopefully end tenancy as quick as I can
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

He's doing his best to control and manipulate you. 

If I were you, I'd get a lawyer ASAP and file. You'll need one anyways, so everything is fair and not on his delusional terms.


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## Wiserforit

Sacremento said:


> Update!!


Leaving a pothead in charge of divorce is like leaving him in charge of guarding the twinkies. 

A divorce filing requires serving the other party. A process server would be delivering it to you, or else you would both sign the filing together in the case of a dissolution or whatever your state calls it.

You need to grab the bull by the horns and file yourself. If he refuses to file with you then it is a contested divorce and you will serve him the papers whether he likes it or not. He can't stop you from divorcing him.


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## MattMatt

Wiserforit said:


> Leaving a pothead in charge of divorce is like leaving him in charge of guarding the twinkies.
> 
> A divorce filing requires serving the other party. A process server would be delivering it to you, or else you would both sign the filing together in the case of a dissolution or whatever your state calls it.
> 
> You need to grab the bull by the horns and file yourself. If he refuses to file with you then it is a contested divorce and you will serve him the papers whether he likes it or not. He can't stop you from divorcing him.


This is not quite how it happens in the UK. Which is, I think, where Sacramento is. 
https://www.gov.uk/divorce/overview
Divorce and separation: 27 FAQs | Law Donut

Her husband is delusional and hallucinating as a result of too much skunk weed, I think.


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## thatcleanhippyguy

This is very, very, very interesting. However... it's almost the opposite for me.

When I am sober, I start thinking of how unhappy I am in the relationship and consider crazy alternatives. But the minute I smoke, it's like I realize how selfish I have been, see myself, see my thoughts and patterns. I know I am not addicted though, because I never ever think about it during the day and when I don't have it for several days in a row, there is no withdrawal at all. I don't use it to "solve" my problems, like a real addict. And I never ever ever have the sort of outburts you described your husband having. It's ironic. 

So in ways, it brings me clarity and helps me make better decisions. It really does. But unlike many many many many people I know, I use it spiritually instead of on a recreational basis. I never smoke before or during work and I never do it if I am expecting company. My wife doesn't smoke, but she is fine with it. She likes my sober self, although my "influenced" self is usually a little more joyful, witty. The problem with cannabis is that it affects everybody differently, so I can't judge your hubby. Plus, I get organic stuff...The theory or studies done to point that cannabis leads to aggressive behavior...that's bullspit. It affects the user on a per user basis! I know TONS of married couples who smoke, they do just fine. I am lucky, my woman doesn't mind except I need to have a mint before I can kiss her after. But I know other guys...well, let's just say they can't smoke anymore because their wives gets mad...

My advice, it's not the pot. It's him. 

All I can say is that I would not have married a girl that did not approve of my smoking. If you did approve, but now, because of his new behavior, you take back that decision, you need to tell him. And then if he doesn't listen, bring in a MC. I went to therapists with my wife, and they concluded, I was not addicted nor was it affecting my behavior in an intense way. But that was me. Good luck!


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## Shooboomafoo

YAH... I know a couple in their sixties that are huge smokers, they get along fine, and dont hag on each other. Great gardeners too.

This guy you are with sounds like he has deeeeeeep emotional issues elsewhere, to run would be prudent.


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