# Divorce question



## bsc820 (Jul 14, 2011)

Well to make a long story shorter, I discovered my wife cheating on me back in May with a doctor that she was working with. We agreed to go to counselling for 2 hours a week for 3 months, she didnt really do anything that the counsellor asked her to do and then i caught her at the doctors house one night when she was supposed to be home. We had a huge fight and she moved out into an apartment. I filed for divorce as soon as i caught her but tried to rescue the marriage with counselling due to us having a 8 month old baby at the time of me catching her. We were togther for 10 years and married for 5 years and had been together since she was 18 and I was 23. 
Now she has been still seeing this guy though the divorce process but yet wont give me a divorce. We have been seperated since August of 2011. She still texts me that she misses me and loves me but yet stays with this guy, goes on vacations with him, etc. I have been dating someone for the past 3 months also and my relationship is going great. I have been trying to divorce her every since she moved out but she wont respond to anything that we send, we have verbally agreed to everything...basically a 50/50 split. We are even going to split custody of our son and we are both agreeing to this. We have sent over a couple of MDA's and the parenting plan and never get a response from her or her attorney. So I just filed for mediation, and I sent her a discovery with all of the tough questions on it asking about details of the infidelity, etc. hoping that would leverage her to go ahead and sign and she will have to have these back to me by 3/17 and we still havent received anything. I even set a trial date for July 18th. I really just dont understand this situation and why she wont just sign off on the papers and end the marriage since she is continuing a relationship with the man that she cheated on me with. I also dont know what else i can do to go ahead and leverage her to sign off on the paperwork. Any ideas from anyone?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I really don't understand. You both have attorneys, right? You mentioned her having an attorney. But, then you seem to be doing everything yourself.


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## bsc820 (Jul 14, 2011)

yes, we send stuff to her attorney and we never get a response. We cant tell if her attorney sucks or if she is just and idiot.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Not sure if this is true or not, but I think I read in some states you can sue the OM (Doctor Love) for breaking up your marriage. You might be able to report him to the Medical Association for misconduct. 

I think it is admirable for you to try and save the marriage, but would take no pity on the OM who is a very unprofessional professional.


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## bsc820 (Jul 14, 2011)

Well I did call their work and report them. it got my wife demoted and lowered her rate of pay, which in turn is screwing me on the divorce. But it honestly made me feel better to expose these a-holes. The funny thing is he is a psychiatrist and she was a RN working under him and his specialty is family counselling.


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## bsc820 (Jul 14, 2011)

I am in Tennessee and you cant sue the other party for breaking up your marriage.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Wow! That guy should practice what he preaches-------wish you could expose him to his patients and your community.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Something may be lacking in your attorney. When my attorney files a motion, it gets results. I'm assuming she is not contesting the divorce? If she nor her attorney are answering your attorney's briefs or motions, your attorney should be filing a motion to go before the judge. At least that's how my attorney handles my estranged husband's uncooperative behavior.


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

i would be standing in front of his practice with a BIG sign, and telling everyone one what a great counsler he is.bet that would get you your divorce in a hurry


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

In short, she is trying to hide behind the confused infidelity fog and hoping everything will just workout so she doesn't have to take responsibility for her affair. She's having fun in her dream world with this guy and trying to keep you whenever you pull away to be with your girlfriend. We call this a "cake eater".

I would stop trying to pressure her to answer anything on paper about the affair, since she is just going to blow you off and carry on, and let her response go uncontested. That mean she automatically agrees and the paperwork can be filed even sooner. 

In the mean time ignore her! She will respect you for doing this since she knows she doesn't deserve your attention for acting like this and is hiding behind pathetic excuses. You could either harsh 180 and ignore her until she decides to respond or force her to signs the papers have her get nasty to get her way. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll shake out of this before it's all over but who knows.


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## Mr Wolf (Mar 1, 2012)

I am speaking from experience here….

Have your lawyer proceed down a path of litigation. The first step I would take is to file a motion for temporary emergency custody of your child that includes a financial support order from your wife. I would also petition the court to keep her boyfriend away from your son. This should keep her from seeing the doctor so much and get her attention. I would then petition the court to calendar a trail start date, order psychological and custodial evaluations for you both and get ready to fight. Every time she fails to respond to an interrogatory or other communication, I would have my lawyer file a motion to compel. You have a child, she is openly cheating on you, and she is refusing to divorce. Make no mistake about it… in all likelihood, she will never change and you will need to divorce. Right now you need to parallel path it with settlement and litigation but she needs to know you will destroy her if she won’t settle. No amount of you being nice will help your relationship with her or your son!!!! DO NOT make this mistake. Extreme toughness is the the only thing these people will understand.

One novel approach would be to look into whether you can file a sexual harrassment claim against the doctor and their employer on the basis that the employer created a harrassment situation by allowing your wife's boss to screw her. I saw something in the news about this a while ago where the non-employee spouse was able to sue for sexual harrassment. Again, this is a tactic to pressure her and him to get this over with.

PM me if you need to. I obviously feel strongly about cheating spouses who refuse to grant a divorce.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Hi bsc sorry you are here. So she is getting someone who willing broke up a marriage what a prize for what its worth more than likely it will not work out and the fantasy will die you see it time and again on here. They will end up cheating on each other would be my bet as soon as the newness is worn off I think you are doing the right thing eventually couldnt you get a d based on abandonment like at a year or some point ?? 

Good Luck


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

since noone brought it up, i will. you have a 8 month old baby, and shes been cheating. hmmm,something to check into, but the clock is ticking.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Does this doctor have a wife?


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## bsc820 (Jul 14, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Does this doctor have a wife?


He was going through a divorce when they first started talking. I think that they started talking in April and his divorce was final in May.


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## bsc820 (Jul 14, 2011)

Another question, I met a girl in december and we started dating. I have been seperated since August and she knows that i am still technically married. Since this relationship started long after seperation and there is no possibility that I would ever get back with my ex wife. Does anyone know if this will affect me in court? I wouldnt think so but I just wanted to make sure.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

It could I would keep it under wraps until d is final
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bsc820 (Jul 14, 2011)

We are waiting on her discovery questions to be answered. Once we get those back we can go to work. I was thinking about sending sopenas to her their co-workers, direct supervisors, his parents (since I saw them eating dinner one night with my wife and the dr), and the doctor himself. I was thinking about even sending a sopena to his ex wife also.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

You seem to be doing everything for your attorney. Your attorney needs to decide who to subpoena and get going. It depends on the laws in your state as to which witnesses will help your case. Also, your state laws will dictate whether your current dating activities are acceptable. After this length of time her financial affidavit should have already been completed. If you have already agreed on everything as you said in your first post, then this divorce should almost be over.... with out the drama. 

In my state there would be no need to subpoena the people you mentioned to a hearing. The only reason my attorney subpoenaed my estranged husband's mistress to court was because it had material implications as a reason for him not making his support payments.


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## NotSoSureYet (Nov 10, 2011)

Alienation of affection.......this is what it is called when an affair knowingly takes place and the other person knows their lover is still married. It's a crappy thing to know you did to someone, but if they "ruined" your life, you might feel ok with it. 
I would wonder if it was the dr. that caused your wife to stray, or would your wife had done it with anyone acceptable in her eyes??


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## bsc820 (Jul 14, 2011)

NotSoSureYet said:


> Alienation of affection.......this is what it is called when an affair knowingly takes place and the other person knows their lover is still married. It's a crappy thing to know you did to someone, but if they "ruined" your life, you might feel ok with it.
> I would wonder if it was the dr. that caused your wife to stray, or would your wife had done it with anyone acceptable in her eyes??


I would charge the a-hole doctor with it but they abolished the statute in 1997 in tennessee.


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## bsc820 (Jul 14, 2011)

So has anyone else had an experience where the wife wouldnt do anything to work on or finalize the divorce? What did you do to motivate her to get the ball rolling?


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