# I don't know what to think



## AmberD

Here's my story. I have been married to my husband for five and a half years, we have two beautiful children together. I will admit that in our relationship I have been the one to cause most of the problems. On ocation I have stayed for drinks with my girlfriends. It was always a huge fight, but that's all I thought that was were fights. I haven't done that in months though. On February 13 my husband said the ilybnilwy and wanted to moved out, claiming it was from all our past fights over the same thing...even though I had already stopped that behavior. He did say that he wanted to try anything to make it work but that moving out was going to have to be a part of that process. I was devistated but determined to do anything to save my marriage and my family. So we started to make some progress the week before he moved out... I thought that reconciliation was inevitable...then he kissed another woman. A husband stealer who flew from california to spend time with my husband. After I calmed down and thought about it I still want to save my marriage, but now he isn't sure. I don't know how to proceed from here I find myself begging and promising everything...promises i know i can keep nothing is more important than us getting back on track...he says that he feels like if we work things out it would just go back to the same and still doesn't know if he could fall back in love with me. What should I do? How can I convince him that I would never jeporadize my marriage again. If I can be so forgiving why can't he?


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## norajane

The "husband stealer" did not fly out from California on a whim. He invited her or encouraged her to come spend time with him. So, he's been talking with her for a WHILE...maybe long before he moved out. Maybe she is WHY he moved out, and why he's suddenly ilybnilwy. And I would question whether a kiss was all they shared. 

I wouldn't be so quick to forgive and forget. You don't know what all has been happening and for how long.

Staying out for drinks every now and then, regardless of the arguments about it, does not = falling out of love with you. That is not the reason he moved out, especially since you hadn't even been staying out at all for months. That is his excuse, but not the real reason.


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## that_girl

Yea, sounds like he wanted to move out because he was cheating with her.

Your husband is a cheater. She may not even know he's married.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, but just know it's NOT your fault...going out with friends once in a while does NOT warrant this behaviour.


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## AmberD

I know it doesn't but he did say he was moving out before this happened and I do still want to work it out...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AmberD

And she did know we are married...i guess they were comisurating...she was also in a relationship that she was not happy in...still does not justify any of it... I just want to know how to get on the ross to repair
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane

You can't put anything back on the road to reconciliation if he's still interested in playing around with other women. 

You can't fix things by yourself. He has to be a willing and HONEST and open participant in the process. And right now, he's playing around with other women, and likes it enough to have moved out. 

I'd step back and let him have what he wants at this point. Stop begging. You did nothing wrong. He wants to be a playboy, and begging him to come back just makes him feel secure that you'll be hanging around and waiting for him once he gets his ego filled by other women. Don't play these games with him. If he can't be honest with you about what is going on with him, then you don't need a man like that in your life.


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## Mamatomany

I'd look go to the Coping w/ Infidelity discussion, read through them, and start doing a 180.


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