# what does stabillity in a marriage mean to a woman



## strugglinghusband (Nov 9, 2011)

Ladies, my wife and I recently going thru a rough time, we both made a list of wants/needs for our marriage, one of her's was 'stabillty" could you please weigh in on what it means to you?
(yes I know, that I should be foucusing on what it means to her, and I am trying)


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Stability can be looked upon in 2 ways ...Emotional and/or financial stability.

Stability is HUGE....even more so if you are married to a woman who has struggled with abandonment issues in her past (anyone she deeply loved who left her suddenly) ....and if she does not have a job to support herself - being a Stay at Home Mom -could add to these fears greatly....upon a divorce, she may have to resort to a dive apartment, facing dead end jobs, childcare or going to college in Midlife.... All very scary when you once had the stability of a husband supporting her. 

On the emotional end.... to feel our spouse will always be there to catch our fall - no matter what....having that "peace" -just knowing no matter what comes our way..... we are "in it together", come hell or high water..... How important this is , how beautiful this is . Just having this assurance deep within.......even in disagreement, we do not fear speaking up & trying to resolve whatever it is we are facing. 

Every marraige has some rough spots , bumps, some hills to climb, some re-learning, re-adjusting, conflict- making up ...it can be very unsettling in the midst of it ....... but to have that blanket belief that.... no matter what the heck we face in this life.......he or she is there for me, for us , for our family ....this is more comforting than near anything else...it is the one foundation we count upon, makes me think of this scripture, can look upon it in the light of a marraige also...


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

SA, I wish I had had that scripture most recently when I was trying to explain to my ex what it was we needed. 

we were attempting a reconciliation until he flew off the handle again, and that was my biggest point.

Every lasting relationship NEEDS a solid foundation between the two people. Or every upset is slowly going to pick away at it until there's nothing left.

Thank you for that, one of our biggest issues was that he kept telling me how "god" wanted things and quoting the bible at me, and low and behold, it says exactly what I was saying.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CLucas976 said:


> Every lasting relationship NEEDS a solid foundation between the two people. Or every upset is slowly going to pick away at it until there's nothing left.
> 
> Thank you for that, one of our biggest issues was that he kept telling me how "god" wanted things and quoting the bible at me, and low and behold, it says exactly what I was saying.


Clucas976... sorry it is too late...or is it ? Alot of beautiful stuff is in that Bible, too often it is used to brow beat instead of inspire. I am no longer a Christian myself but I still find much good within those pages, much *wisdom *for daily living. 

I always find it entertaining to use scriptures to argue with the fundamentalists who are trying to beat me up with their righteousness, sounds like what your husband was doing to you. 

Yes, every lasting relationship needs to feel it is based upon a Rock or like the Little pigs story >> the house made of Brick couldn't be taken down by the Big Bad Wolf.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

To me stability is about knowing he ALWAYS has my back and that is a CONSTANT in my life!

I KNOW that I can prang my car and his only concern is if I'm ok.
When I cry I KNOW he will comfort me. When I feel scared I KNOW he will hold my hand and when I have something to celebrate...he'll be there with the sparkly wine and a high five!

I know what he does every day is for us (the family) and our benefit, even if he does it a bit wrong sometimes, his intentions are always good, to be there for us in the very best way he can.

I sure hope he feels the same about me!


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