# I've been out of the house since October. No change :(



## ConfusedInOH (Aug 13, 2012)

Previous post

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...on/53506-im-slightly-confused-what-going.html

Instead of confusedinoh I'm now pissedinoh!

I don't even know what to say. My friends say I'm stupid for still caring. She's not talking to anyone, but is seeing a therapist(we'll get to that in a minute) I have a newer steady job now and I'm looking at getting a house for myself and daughter and would love for my wife to wake up and realize what I am doing here, but w/e

I still love her and think about her daily. We split up Turkey day and x-mas(Which I stayed with them for christmas morning) Daughter asking all kinds of questions I didn't want to nor knew the answers to. I feel like a failure and never want this to happen. I have been calling my wife in the morning on my first break in order to tell my daughter I love her, I also tell my wife that I wish she has a good day at work and I love her.She says this is annoying...So I guess I have to stop? I got her a V-day gift as well as my daughter . I wanted to take my wife out for V-day, just dinner to get out and let lose a little bit(alone time, chat about daily stuff), but she said no as it is weird??? But said We can do a family dinner one day next week but that's it... I took what I could get and we just had dinner. It went well, I took care of my daughter which most of the time my wife does. We talked about daily stuff and had fun, a little laugh some serious moments, etc.. I felt good after leaving dinner. 2 days later I try to talk to her and she is as cold as a freezer. WTF??????????? It's like she realized maybe she felt something and had to shut it out real quick before doing something "stupid" like agreeing that we should work on something.

Now lastnight my world was sent into a tailspin when she says we need to stop dragging this on. I said no you need to stop pretending or hiding from the fact that you might feel something for me(and I presented dinner and 2 days later) no response.....Yeah something is going on. 

She says if I don't agree to dissolution she is going to file. I told her that I don't agree to anything because it's all a mistake and I'm not going to sit here and let you do what I did a long time ago and make a mistake.

I don't know if I should let her file that way if we file we would have to go through counseling.......

Or do I let this stale state ride out for a while longer and see where it gets us?

Ultimately I want my wife, soulmate, family back together. I'm willing to do anything to make that happen, but she is held back by something(fear of failure again?) She said for once her heart and mind is agreeing and she has to follow them. Now I will tell you that lastnight I told her I can make her happy, we can be happy I can make the things happen that we want to happen. She said I have thought long and hard about what to do and I wish I felt differently.....STOP RIGHT THERE.

If you wish you felt differently doesn't that mean there is doubt that you are doing the right thing?

-still confusedinoh


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Isn't funny when folks want what they can't have they want the most, but when ever they know that they can have what ever someone else is offering they take their sweet time taking it.
I think its time to changes your tactic no matter how painful it it.

Sometimes the most painful stuff reaps the best rewards!.

But what do I know? I don't give my wife sh!t and she keeps wanting more these days. Maybe she is affraid of losing me? Maybe some other chick will snatch me up? Maybe after the crap she put me thru just made me the way I am. 

At the end of the day I will do anything to keep my wife and if it takes not giving a sh1t well then I guess its working.

I think in short one has to command respect, it sucks to have to be this way but it also sucks to be walked on.

In addition if you have doubt...well they can smell that sh1t...so even if you have a doubt, don't show it....wrong or right a guy has to make a choice and in the end the choice has to be respected and with that one commands respect.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Beta as they come. Unattractive as hell, especially to women like your wife. 

Did not read your complete post but are you in IC ? You seriously need one. Codependency and zero self esteem letting this useless woman walk all over you


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## ConfusedInOH (Aug 13, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Beta as they come. Unattractive as hell, especially to women like your wife.
> 
> Did not read your complete post but are you in IC ? You seriously need one. Codependency and zero self esteem letting this useless woman walk all over you


No money or insurance right now for counseling. I'm fine. I have confidence and esteem. I just know what I want and I won't stop until I get it back!

Make sense?


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