# Desparate and Mission Her



## amillionpieces (Oct 25, 2010)

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to this forum and have been going through one of the hardest situations in my life. I wondered if anyone had some advice.

My wife and I have been married 6 years and known each other for 10 years. She suffers from bipolar and PTSD (she was raped about 11 years ago in November). Because it is getting close to the anniversary date of her rape she has been isolating a lot from me and spending all her time on the computer. Also she has been having complications from her diabetes and is now only able to walk with a walker. We had problems earlier in our marriage with money, which I admit it was my fault. Since she does not work because of her health, I was used to paying all the bills and doing the budgeting and unfortunately did not include her in any of this. We attended marriage therapy and worked it out so we have a weekly meeting on the status of our finances and what bills are coming up, etc.

Well, we have been fighting again over little things. Actually, she is saying it’s all me. She gets mad over little things like if I forget to turn out the light when I leave the room or forget to take out the trash. Also, lately I have had a lot of stress at work and also with dealing with my wife’s health, although I do not take that out on her. We have been attending marriage therapy and everything has been going well. But it seems like the past few months that something little will set her off and then she will leave and live at her mother’s house. Like Saturday morning, she told me I was the best thing in her life and how much she loved me. We went out, but after a few hours, my back was really starting to hurt. I told her and asked if she had aspirin or if I could lay down (and got a little grumpy). And the past few days I’ve been really hurt by her completely isolating from me, but I really have been trying to understand. Anyways, we came home and I did tell her how I felt about her isolation. She got mad at me and said “well, I guess it’s only about you” and called her mom and left.

The next morning, I found out that she closed out the only email address I had for her, she removed me and everyone I knew from her facebook, and went back to using her maiden name. I know I should be mad at her, but I can’t. I called our marriage therapist and she set up a phone session with my wife for this afternoon. I just can’t believe that after 10 years she would just get up and walk away. I’ve never touched her or even called her a name. But this is the way she is treating me. I’ve really tried to make myself a better husband for this message. Sometimes I mess up, but is that a reason to leave? I mean, I get up in the middle of the night and massage her legs when they hurt. I always rush home because I am so excited to see her. I am so confused and hurt. But most of all, I just don’t want her to hurt. I’m not sure how to handle this because we always did everything together. And it’s hard because I have no mode of contact with her. What should I do? Thanks for your help.


----------



## amillionpieces (Oct 25, 2010)

Actually, the title should say "Missing Her"


----------

