# Husbands temper has me considering separation.



## brown2017 (Jun 1, 2018)

Let me first say I absolutely love my husband. We’ve been married going on 6 years and he’s mostly wonderful. The problem is he has the most drastic mood swings, gets angry over the tiniest things, and has even gone so far as to call me stupid and worthless recently. He apologized after, but his temper is out of hand. He will lose his cool at the smallest inconvenience, but only lose his temper on me but never with our daughter. I’ve tried approaching him multiple ways, but it always ends the same. I’ve asked him to come to counseling with me, as I see a therapist every other week since I have bipolar/depression. I suspect he has some mental illness as well but has never looked for help. He never gets physical but I am tired of walking on egg shells for someone who doesn’t seem to want to fix the issues at hand. I’ve tried looking at myself to see what I might be doing to cause his anger, but everything seems to set him off. The last one, earlier today, was the puppy he insisted we get who is 13 weeks old went to the bathroom in the house. He’s a puppy, accidents happen! When I said as much, he yelled at me I need to take the dog out more often so it doesn’t happen, or teach our daughter (who is three!) to.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Do not discount the seriousness of this issue. The only reason it is nit directed at your daughter YET is because she is 3. Once he thinks she is "old enough to handle it," he'll lose it with her too.

This isnt about what you do to cause it. It is about his lack of self-control.


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## Edward333 (Feb 13, 2017)

Your husband behaves exactly like my ex-wife except she started getting physically abusive when I started standing up for myself. 

If you truly love him, then resolve this now before it gets worse. Sounds like he needs a dose of reality. His behavior is UNACCEPTABLE.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

The only reason your husband does what he does is because you take it. As long as you are there allowing him to abuse you, he will continue abusing you. And know that it surely will escalate to physical abuse. It always does when allowed to get away with everything he wants to say to you however he wants to say it.

If women didn't take the abuse, men would stop abusing. It's as simple as that.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Either your bi-polar husband seeks psychological counseling, or you need to start shopping for lawyers!

No spouse deserves treatment like that!*


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## coquille (May 8, 2018)

Abuse gets worse. Your husband is "mostly wonderful" because abuse is vicious cycle that never ends; it spirals downward for the worse. Abusive and hurtful episodes are followed by "honeymoon" where the abusive person apologizes and treats the abused nicely, and then something happens (or does not happen) and the abuse resumes, and so on. For this reason, an abused person hesitates to leave the relationship because of the peaceful episodes. WRONG!

You don't deserve this treatment; it makes you question your self worth. It will inevitably reach your children. They will be your husband's victims.

Remember that you are strong(er) without him. You don't him to be a blossoming individual and mother. On the contrary, he makes weak through his abuse. Separation is better for you and your daughter.


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## Ab10lah (Jul 1, 2018)

'Mostly wonderful" is sort of an oxymoron with what you described here. It appears the awful times are far longer than the good times. 

And not (yet) directing his abuse towards your toddler is not something you should count as one of his positives, because she can surely feel the tension and stress if mommy walks on eggshells all day. He is even already suggesting she takes the dog out, giving her a responsibility beyond her age or capacity.

You really need to step up before it gets worse than this, and it will.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

It sounds like UR husband has always had an anger management problem, but that it has recently escalated.

Has he had regular medical/physical check-ups? Some meds have anger as a side effect. Some jobs have a high ratio relationship to AM problems .

We choose to react with anger--no one MAKES us angry. Anger management classes (outside of therapy this more acceptable to some) are available in most cities.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> Do not discount the seriousness of this issue. The only reason it is nit directed at your daughter YET is because she is 3. Once he thinks she is "old enough to handle it," he'll lose it with her too.
> 
> This isnt about what you do to cause it. It is about his lack of self-control.


I wouldn't trust him around the puppy either.


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