# Moments of infactuation



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Have you guys ever had these strange moments of infactuation, crushes so-to-speak, of others not your partner, and then you look at your partner, as beautiful as they look, and go... "meh"
Sometimes it lasts seconds, other times days, even weeks...

Do tell


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Something you are dealing with now?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

'Tis was a question!


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I would bet most people have dealt with this at some point, especially when things aren't going well with their SO. Pretty much falls in line with the "Grass is greener" mentality


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

RandomDude said:


> Have you guys ever had these strange moments of infactuation, crushes so-to-speak, of others not your partner, and then you look at your partner, as beautiful as they look, and go... "meh"
> Sometimes it lasts seconds, other times days, even weeks...
> 
> Do tell


...or years.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

EllisRedding said:


> Something you are dealing with now?


Yes. What's happening with Ms. FormerFWB?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Have you guys ever had these strange moments of infactuation, crushes so-to-speak, of others not your partner, and then you look at your partner, as beautiful as they look, and go... "meh"
> Sometimes it lasts seconds, other times days, even weeks...
> 
> Do tell


*Not exactly!

That's why I'm still in the business of inhaling air right now!

But I have played that game with both my XW and my RSXW, post-divorce of course, always imploring myself, "Just how stupid was I?"*


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Things are going well for the most part except for the one thing that is holding me back, but I didn't think the temptation would be this strong. I just question our future as she can't decide her residency, don't blame her though because it's like choosing between her family and me. Rather not get into that.

And even I don't know if I can still give her what she wants, I'm still getting used to the whole lovey dovey thing after divorce.

Still, the infactuation I have recently is fking strong, two weeks now, with a 'friend' from my new college. It's already so weird being back in school after almost 20 years, and now I have this to deal with. Maybe I just have to get to know this new friend abit more and let her turn me off since I'm sure she can't beat my current girlfriend. Or something. I dunno, this crush isn't going away for some reason... bah!!


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I am always fascinated by new facts, especially in the realm of quantum physics. In fact, I was just reading about a new state of matter, quantum spin liquids.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

RandomDude said:


> Have you guys ever had these strange moments of infactuation, crushes so-to-speak, of others not your partner, and then you look at your partner, as beautiful as they look, and go... "meh"
> Sometimes it lasts seconds, other times days, even weeks...
> 
> Do tell


Nope. I've never found DH to be "meh". It's so bad, I'm into him even when he's angered or disappointed me. Other men are "meh", at best.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I have honestly never seen a woman more attractive than my gf.I know how that sounds but it is true.The first time I saw her,very early in the morning and she ran up to me I thought I was dreaming.It turned out she thought I was someone else lol.But she is a natural blonde,fitness instructor,five ten, and a figure to dream about.What more could a man want.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

there was this one movie, with Kim Basinger....


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Random, sorry to be asking you this question at this point now...but..
Are you 100% you want to be in a relationship with your current gf? 
From your other threads/posts it felt like you suddenly found yourself in a relationship you weren't prepared for...but you decided to go along with it because your gf is a good girl and you didn't want to hurt her? Because her family was so good to you that you decided to give this whole thing a try?

It might sound like I'm off topic here ...but if the above is somewhat true...then I don't blame your for the infatuations you might feel here and there ..
When you say you can't give her what she wants, do you refer to a stable, long-lasting relationship?

If you're not prepared for that then I don't blame you, just make sure not to give her false hopes. 
THe infatuations you're feeling now are a way to escape from your new relationship with this girl. Early stages of the relationship are supposed to be fun, exciting, passionate...and so on. It's not supposed to be about crushes on other people.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

A new person can be extremely attractive. Your brain fills in all the unknowns with a creation of your own fantasy. 

its a trap!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

The issue is that she has not made up her mind on choosing between her family and me, it's a long story, put it this way, she's not a PR here. She can be one at her own accord, but she has not made her choice and the deadline is coming soon. So I'm not 100% either. It's already been several months, soon to be a year, so it's abit past early stages.

I agree that my mind is filling in the blanks when it comes to the infatuation, and it's disturbing because I don't seem to be in control, not to mention my studies force me to see her, and she's part of my new circle of friends. My girlfriend and I are opposites, from personality to interests, it attracted at first, but now it seems I'm drawn to someone else who actually shares my passions and interests, and who I don't have to worry about flying off back overseas.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Been listening to this song during attempts at self-wiring to ensure I don't step out:






Helps to dispel the thoughts temporarily at least until my crush texts me or I see her again, and I find myself losing focus when I'm with my girlfriend.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

RandomDude said:


> The issue is that she has not made up her mind on choosing between her family and me, it's a long story, put it this way, she's not a PR here. She can be one at her own accord, but she has not made her choice and the deadline is coming soon. So I'm not 100% either. It's already been several months, soon to be a year, so it's abit past early stages.
> 
> *I agree that my mind is filling in the blanks when it comes to the infatuation, and it's disturbing because I don't seem to be in control, not to mention my studies force me to see her, and she's part of my new circle of friends. My girlfriend and I are opposites, from personality to interests, it attracted at first, but now it seems I'm drawn to someone else who actually shares my passions and interests, and who I don't have to worry about flying off back overseas.*


Per the bolded though, is the whole relocating / flying overseas the only issue? If you look at the bolded, it appears there is more to it. If she decided that she chooses you, can you just that easily shut this other person off, or the next female you meet who shows an interest in you (has more in common with you then your current GF), or the next one after that, etc... ??? That would be the bigger concern, and maybe your current GF is just not the one for you to settle down with.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Yeah, if you're not sure how you feel about her then don't force her reach a decision yet because it'd be very unfair of you. 
You're still not sure how you feel about her, yet you want her to choose between you and the family. It's like asking her to change her life upside-down when you don't even know what you want out of this relationship. It's not that you're marrying her or anything, so I think you should re-think her possibility of relocating to you.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

The opposites thing is a plus as well as an issue so it's not as big as the possibility of her flying back to her home country to take care of her family. It's not me that's given her a deadline for her decision, it's immigration/her family. She may return overseas for a year at least until her family situation is more settled, and I told her there's no chance I'm relocating for her due to my daughter. Guess this makes me more vulnerable to infatuation.


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