# Married men watching porn and masterbating



## Gigi66 (Mar 20, 2015)

I am seeking advice to better understand my husband and his actions. I have known my husband since he was 15. I was 13. We are now 48 and 50. We have a strong sex life. But I have known for years that he watches porn and masterbates. I really don't care if he does it, what bothers me is that he hides it from me. He never wants to own up to it. He avoids talking about it when I bring it up. I masterbate. Not to porn, but I do it because I enjoy it. I don't hide it from my husband, but he is just so private about it. I walked in on him once and he totally denied it. Lied to my face. How should I feel about it.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Gigi66 said:


> I am seeking advice to better understand my husband and his actions. I have known my husband since he was 15. I was 13. We are now 48 and 50. We have a strong sex life. But I have known for years that he watches porn and masterbates. I really don't care if he does it, what bothers me is that he hides it from me. He never wants to own up to it. He avoids talking about it when I bring it up. I masterbate. Not to porn, but I do it because I enjoy it. I don't hide it from my husband, but he is just so private about it. I walked in on him once and he totally denied it. Lied to my face. How should I feel about it.


I wish we all had the power to erase another person's senseless shame, but we don't.

Leave him alone about it.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Have you ever just sat him down and said listen buster I know you madterbate to porn and I don't, care as a mater of fact the vast majority of people do myself included. So quit being so darn secetrivevaboit it I think if we opened up about it some it might take our sex life to new places. Then say let's watch some porn together!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> Have you ever just sat him down and said listen buster I know you madterbate to porn and I don't, care as a mater of fact the vast majority of people do myself included. So quit being so darn secetrivevaboit it I think if we opened up about it some it might take our sex life to new places. Then say let's watch some porn together!


I changed my mind. I like this advice better. But only do it once, just to make sure he knows, in case he'll never be as comfortable as you with the idea.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

next time you catch him, join the fun.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

The old saying "95% of people masturbate and 5% lie about it" The statement makes a point but in reality I think the number of those who lie about it is far greater. You have a great attitude though Gigi. I'll third what Chilly said.


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## casey66 (Jan 25, 2015)

Seems like you folks have potential for a "Happily Ever After" marriage if he puts the energy from porn and MBing into your husband-wife sex life and you put the energy from worrying about it into your husband-wife sex life. Then you will both be on the same page of music and no one will have to lie.


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## Oddjob (Mar 23, 2015)

Some guys prefer a private life with their porn. It's not fun when you're a part of it. Makes him uncomfortable. Get off his back.

If he wanted you in on it, he'd invite you, trust me.

Being pushy about it will just ruin it for him and make him resent you. Then he'll really start hiding stuff from you.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

If it's not interfering with your sex life and he's not really lying about it (he just doesn't want to talk about it) then leave it alone.

It's his private life and doesn't really have anything to do with you. Lots of dudes are uncomfortable talking about it, and they don't really have to.

Unless it's a problem, it's not a problem, you know what I mean?

And there's an idea that in LTRs eroticism needs space to flourish, and a sense of privacy to be nurtured... then shared. So give him that space. Invite him to discuss if he wants, and let him know that that door is always open if he wants to talk about it, and then leave it alone.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

If you haven't done so, express this to him.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Strange really. Not sure why he would feel he needs to hide it from you seeing as it does not bother you??.

I am married and i know my husband watches porn on occasion, hes quite open about it, just like i am with him as i to enjoy a bit of porn here and there myself.

Usually a man has to hide it as some women hate their men watching it ( never really understood that myself)... so rather than cause a stink or a big row they just deny the fact their doing it to keep the peace, in your case tho not really sure why he hides it... Nearly all men masturbate its normal.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

If you stick around here long enough you will see a presence of many who call masterbation and porn basically " the evil thing men do"

Unfortunately some of this also bleeds into real life where masterbation is somehow wrong. That's proably why he lied and hid it from you. I can understand being upset he lied. I would be too. So long as the sex life isn't affected you're probably good to go. It's ok to Tell him that you prefer he didn't lie about it though.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Think of it as his personal "knitting time". He enjoys doing it, it relaxes him, let him do it.

I get embarrassed too. I think it would be creepy if I wasn't embarrassed. i mean come on, how would you feel if he walked in on you unexpectedly with your biggest toy jammed right up in there.

Tell me you wouldn't care and I'd tell you you are a liar.


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