# Fwb and girl?



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Does this mean he has finally moved on or he has realised his feelings for her?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

It's a long story but kept this as short and concise as possible


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> My fwb and the girl he wanted for a year fell out last month because he disrespected her and denied having any feelings for her even when she told him that she has feelings for him.
> 
> They never had sex but my fwb seemed like he kind of had developed feelings for her. Last year, he took her on a date but solely with the intention of hooking up. However, she did not kiss or have sex and he grew very resentful and passive aggressive towards her. But she continued to talk to him and was actually very affectionate and caring towards him.
> 
> ...


You need to move on and drop this fwb.
Pick someone who is not an ass and someone who doesn’t screw with a girls head.

I can hear your words now “This is not about me and him”

Bull.

If you were a FWB you wouldn’t care about what he does with this other girl.

Yet you have it all very well documented.

Move on. Let him chase her or drop her.

Find a nice guy.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

@BeyondRepair007 

That's why I'm asking that is he still into her or has moved on because then I can move on or ask him for more if he's done with her?


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> @BeyondRepair007
> 
> That's why I'm asking that is he still into her or has moved on because then I can move on or ask him for more if he's done with her?


You really want somebody who is going to treat you like he is treating this other girl? Do you want to be a sex-only kinda friend to him while he chases other girls?

I’m saying it doesn’t matter what he’s doing. You should move on and get someone better for yourself.

But the only way to know what is in his head is to ask him, and then who knows if he will tell you the truth. He is a liar after all.

Dump him. Find somebody who will treat you well and not play games.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> You need to move on and drop this fwb.
> Pick someone who is not an ass and someone who doesn’t screw with a girls head.
> 
> I can hear your words now “This is not about me and him”
> ...





BeyondRepair007 said:


> You really want somebody who is going to treat you like he is treating this other girl? Do you want to be a sex-only kinda friend to him while he chases other girls?
> 
> I’m saying it doesn’t matter what he’s doing. You should move on and get someone better for yourself.
> 
> ...



@BeyondRepair007 
Look I really like him so please at least guess and I ll be able to pick up the que


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> @BeyondRepair007
> Look I really like him so please at least guess and I ll be able to pick up the que


The issue is not your feelings for him, but how he is going to treat you. Keep in mind that I am polyamorous and a swinger, so I am not going to be trying to talk you out of being a FWB. That aspect in and of itself is not a problem. But even if you are not in an emotional relationship with this person, given your description of him, it seems like he is one to play games and mess with people's heads and hearts. I find it especially worrisome that he failed to mention that you two are still FWB's. There is a reason the overall practice is called *Ethical *Non-Monogamy. He is not being very ethical. I would say that if I were in your position, I would no longer be a FWB for this person, as I could no longer trust that he would keep me apprised of his other partners as well as could not trust that he would continue to treat me ethically and with courtesy.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Does this mean he has finally moved on or he has realised his feelings for her?


Neither. 

It means he's still into her. For whatever reason she hasn't cut him completely out of her life no matter how much of a jerk he's being. You are simply the doormat he <boinks> because it's convenient. Even if he fully gave up on her, he won't come to you because he has no respect for you. Heaven help you if he does "pick" you because it will only because he doesn't care enough to try harder & will settle for you. 

Do yourself 2 giant favors. Shut off the benefits especially because you have feelings & go get an STD test. This is not a good situation for you.

You might want to spend some time reflecting on why you like him so much & why you are willing to be treated soooo badly. How'd you get so damaged?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Neither.
> 
> It means he's still into her. For whatever reason she hasn't cut him completely out of her life no matter how much of a jerk he's being. You are simply the doormat he <boinks> because it's convenient. Even if he fully gave up on her, he won't come to you because he has no respect for you. Heaven help you if he does "pick" you because it will only because he doesn't care enough to try harder & will settle for you.
> 
> ...


But how can you say hes still into her?

He has lost his resentment I guess hence he's wearing white again but that is a bad sign because once a person doesn't care, it's over?

Also he behaved badly but told her how he dislikes his home team because they have a bad mentality??

I'm not damaged. I liked him since I met him 2 years ago but he was always saying hes not looking for anything and because I liked him, I agreed to sleep with him. Until he met her and for some reason, had 0 physical intimacy with her but became attached and I don't understand why she can't follow her words. She was mad at him and cut him off but went back on her words and can't let go.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

The bottom line is that he isn’t giving you… nor will ever give you…. what it is you are wanting from him. Besides… he plays immature games.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> But how can you say hes still into her?


Easy. Because men like a challenge. She won't sleep with him so he wants her even more. 

He claims to have deleted her # but still goes out of his way to talk to her in person. You describe an encounter above as talking. It was flirting but you are down playing the whole thing. 

You said it yourself he's not himself & he's "miserable." That is a man who is still hung up on the one he can't have. 

He will keep on sleeping with you but you are his dirty little secret. That is why he didn't tell her about you. He likes the sex, not you the woman. 

I get that you like him but that's not enough. Have enough self respect to end this. It's not going to turn out well for you.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Easy. Because men like a challenge. She won't sleep with him so he wants her even more.
> 
> He claims to have deleted her # but still goes out of his way to talk to her in person. You describe an encounter above as talking. It was flirting but you are down playing the whole thing.
> 
> ...


But how was he flirting?
They talked abiut football etc normal stuff like they used to.

And she told him she liked him, cared for him so how is she a challenge?

He said he wants to move forward from her as he feels stagnated but then this?

If I feel he's still into her then I will cut him off. Just want to be sure he is


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> The bottom line is that he isn’t giving you… nor will ever give you…. what it is you are wanting from him. Besides… he plays immature games.


Is he still into this girl? If you also think yes, it will at least help me decide to cut ties


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Is he still into this girl? If you also think yes, it will at least help me decide to cut ties


Yes. He’s still into this girl.
If he wasn’t, he’d be trying to find a new one to hit up.
Dogs are gonna be dogs and he’s still sniffing her.
Cut ties.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

Why is it that young ladies like to chase the d bags? Have some self respect ,kick him and his white shirts to the curb. I can' t quite understand why any woman would agree to be an "FWB".


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Yes. He’s still into this girl.
> If he wasn’t, he’d be trying to find a new one to hit up.
> Dogs are gonna be dogs and he’s still sniffing her.
> Cut ties.





dokieok252 said:


> But how can you say hes still into her?
> 
> He has lost his resentment I guess hence he's wearing white again but that is a bad sign because once a person doesn't care, it's over?
> 
> ...



What about this?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

dokieok252 said:


> Is he still into this girl? If you also think yes, it will at least help me decide to cut ties


The answer is already clear to everyone else. The problem is you are too close to the situation to see it clearly for what it is.

If this guy wanted you he would already be going after you. Don’t play second best to anyone…ever.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Tested_by_stress said:


> I can' t quite understand why any woman would agree to be an "FWB".


Because that is what they want. Some women are not ready to settle down into a long term relationship but still want to have regular sex. This isn't something that they are comprimising on because they wouldn't have a relationship otherwise.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

maquiscat said:


> Because that is what they want. Some women are not ready to settle down into a long term relationship but still want to have regular sex. This isn't something that they are comprimising on because they wouldn't have a relationship otherwise.


I can agree with you as we have a family friend in this situation.

The issue in this thread is the gal really wants a relationship after she already established herself as a FWB. She is unable to see that he isn’t interested otherwise and falsely believes that just because the other girl is fading away that she will take the #1 spot.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Mr.Married said:


> I can agree with you as we have a family friend in this situation.
> 
> The issue in this thread is the gal really wants a relationship after she already established herself as a FWB. She is unable to see that he isn’t interested otherwise and falsely believes that just because the other girl is fading away that she will take the #1 spot.


I agree with you on this specific case. My response said as much. Even if all she wanted was to remain FWB, I would recommend that she leaves this guy's as he is not exhibiting the ethical part of ENM


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> I can agree with you as we have a family friend in this situation.
> 
> The issue in this thread is the gal really wants a relationship after she already established herself as a FWB. She is unable to see that he isn’t interested otherwise and falsely believes that just because the other girl is fading away that she will take the #1 spot.


So you do agree he is finished with her?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> The answer is already clear to everyone else. The problem is you are too close to the situation to see it clearly for what it is.
> 
> If this guy wanted you he would already be going after you. Don’t play second best to anyone…ever.


But others are saying that she's fading away? He is getting over her isn't he ?

It's because of her we ve stayed in this rut and once she goes, he ll be normal


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> So you do agree he is finished with her?


I do NOT think he is agreeing to that. In fact he has pointed out that there are signs he is not done with her. What both he and I have said, is that regardless of whether he is done with her or not, you should be done with him because he is not acting in an ethical manner, not even for just a f**k buddy. And remember that we are using ethical in the context of Ethical Non-Monogamy.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Nobody thinks she's fading away. He's saying he is over her to save face.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> @BeyondRepair007
> 
> That's why I'm asking that is he still into her or has moved on because then I can move on or ask him for more if he's done with her?


I have a soon-to-be 21 year old daughter in college.

She has a pretty good head on her shoulders and is usually the one whacking her peer group upside the head when they are acting foolishly, but I’ll tell you what I would have told her if she was in a situation like this -

Live your own life for you and pursue your own wants and needs and what is in your own best interests. 

Why are you expending time and energy and bandwidth on these two yahoos?? 

Do your own thing and what’s best for you.

If you want to move on, then move on regardless of what these other two knuckleheads are doing.

If you want to date someone else, date someone else. He’s just a fck boi, he doesn’t matter. He’s kept you in the FWBzone while he spins plates so you owe him NOTHING. You’ve already given him all that he wants which is your vagina, so you owe him nothing else. 

If for whatever reason you want to be an actual couple with him (I think that’s dumb at this point, but you will learn and wisen up in time) then just lay that out there and ask him. 

If he balks or hmmms and hhaahhhs or makes excuses, then say NEXT! and move on. 

Your answer to all of these dilemmas and questions you are asking is to grow a set of ovaries and a spine and stand up and start living your life for YOU and doing what is in YOUR best interests. 

I don’t have any moral or religious issues with FWBs as long as it is honest and consensual by all parties.

But if you want a actual BF in an actual relationship, then go for that and don’t settle and don’t compromise. 

Pursue your own wants and wishes and what is best for YOU and if someone doesn’t want to do that with you, then they are not the right person for you.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> But others are saying that she's fading away? He is getting over her isn't he ?
> 
> It's because of her we ve stayed in this rut and once she goes, he ll be normal


Honey, the reason he is in this situation is because this is who and what he is.

This is HIM. It has nothing to with her… or you for that matter. This is who and what he is.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

maquiscat said:


> I do NOT think he is agreeing to that. In fact he has pointed out that there are signs he is not done with her. What both he and I have said, is that regardless of whether he is done with her or not, you should be done with him because he is not acting in an ethical manner, not even for just a f**k buddy. And remember that we are using ethical in the context of Ethical Non-Monogamy.


Yes but he said shes fading away?

Also can you please tell me where it still seems he likes her because he was the one deleting her and saying he wants to move forward


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Nobody thinks she's fading away. He's saying he is over her to save face.



He hasn't said he's over her. He did delete her from whatsapp and told her he wants to move forward from her but she fixed it that day

But I don't understand why someone would think he's flirting when they were just chatting ?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> why


Why?, Why?, Why? You are starting to sound like a naggy child or a dog barking and chasing his own tail in a spin. Everything said to you is a Why? in reply. I'm wondering if you're for real. if this is for real, I can tell you that you will never be his "main squeeze" regardless if "she's fading away" from his head or not. You could become a temporary, useful, warm body to tap as needed, but never you will be the "one". Take this as you wish, but this is the most probable outcome for you in any scenario. So, quit with the why? and carry on with whatever makes you feel comfortable, even if in the long run it will not be beneficial for you. You, as most people in this world need to learn by experience what's good oneself.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> But others are saying that she's fading away? He is getting over her isn't he ?
> 
> It's because of her we ve stayed in this rut and once she goes, he ll be normal


You are dreaming. He clearly ISN'T over her -- or he wouldn't be talking to her, etc..
You are in this rut because you started a FWB and HE is fine with that. He doesn't want anything more than that with you.
If you are getting feelings for him, you need to realize that HE isn't feeling the same, just enjoying the sex, so honestly, and what others have tried to say -- move on.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> You are dreaming. He clearly ISN'T over her -- or he wouldn't be talking to her, etc..
> You are in this rut because you started a FWB and HE is fine with that. He doesn't want anything more than that with you.
> If you are getting feelings for him, you need to realize that HE isn't feeling the same, just enjoying the sex, so honestly, and what others have tried to say -- move on.


Do you think there's any chance he's being polite?

I just want to put this forward because I want to know if he will be willing to have a relationship with me


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Rob_1 said:


> Why?, Why?, Why? You are starting to sound like a naggy child or a dog barking and chasing his own tail in a spin. Everything said to you is a Why? in reply. I'm wondering if you're for real. if this is for real, I can tell you that you will never be his "main squeeze" regardless if "she's fading away" from his head or not. You could become a temporary, useful, warm body to tap as needed, but never you will be the "one". Take this as you wish, but this is the most probable outcome for you in any scenario. So, quit with the why? and carry on with whatever makes you feel comfortable, even if in the long run it will not be beneficial for you. You, as most people in this world need to learn by experience what's good oneself.


Why is going on because he has been obsessed with her since last year.

However considering they fell out and he clearly lied to her and said he doesn't like her and wants nothing from her, it makes sense for me to broach the topic?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

No offense honey but you just aren’t “getting it.”
You are unable to see the forest from the trees.
You need to back away and examine from 10 miles out.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Mr.Married said:


> No offense honey but you just aren’t “getting it.”
> You are unable to see the forest from the trees.
> You need to back away and examine from 10 miles out.


Come on dude, haven't you realize it yet. A why? from OP is coming your way.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> No offense honey but you just aren’t “getting it.”
> You are unable to see the forest from the trees.
> You need to back away and examine from 10 miles out.



But you were the one who said shes fading from his mind?


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> Do you think there's any chance he's being polite?
> 
> I just want to put this forward because I want to know if he will be willing to have a relationship with me


If this is the case, then forget the other girl and ASK HIM DIRECTLY.

Tell him you want to be more than just a FWB and see where it leads.

BUT, i don't think he's just being polite. I think he is still interested in her.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> If this is the case, then forget the other girl and ASK HIM DIRECTLY.
> 
> Tell him you want to be more than just a FWB and see where it leads.
> 
> BUT, i don't think he's just being polite. I think he is still interested in her.


He hasn't replied to me yet but I have asked him.

Any specific reason why you think he's still into her? 
He knows now she likes him so he might feel she's a nice girl and hence continue talking rather than pushing away. He did not re-add her on whatsapp


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Rob_1 said:


> Come on dude, haven't you realize it yet. A why? from OP is coming your way.


👌

You’re right. It is I who can’t see the forest from the trees.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> He hasn't replied to me yet but I have asked him.
> 
> Any specific reason why you think he's still into her?
> He knows now she likes him so he might feel she's a nice girl and hence continue talking rather than pushing away. He did not re-add her on whatsapp


He "cut her off" because he got mad at her because SHE got mad at him -- he's very immature.
Now that he's cooled off a bit, realizes SHE likes him -- now he is playing the game again with her. Her interest is sparking his, and he DID like her (and still does) -- he just lied to her about it because he doesn't want commitment.
He probably will not want commitment with you either. From what you've said, he's just not mature enough or ready to be in a true relationship.

If' you've ASKED him about a relationship and he "hasn't replied" -- first, did you TALK to him face to face, or was it over text/whatsapp? This type of question needs to be done face to face.
Second, since he HASN'T responded -- I think that tells you what you need to know. The answer is he does NOT want a full-on relationship with you, but he doesn't want to say it because he likes having sex with you and is afraid the spigot will be turned off if he tells you the truth.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> He hasn't replied to me yet but I have asked him.
> 
> Any specific reason why you think he's still into her?
> He knows now she likes him so he might feel she's a nice girl and hence continue talking rather than pushing away. He did not re-add her on whatsapp





Mr.Married said:


> 👌
> 
> You’re right. It is I who can’t see the forest from the trees.


Can you clarify your statement?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> He "cut her off" because he got mad at her because SHE got mad at him -- he's very immature.
> Now that he's cooled off a bit, realizes SHE likes him -- now he is playing the game again with her. Her interest is sparking his, and he DID like her (and still does) -- he just lied to her about it because he doesn't want commitment.
> He probably will not want commitment with you either. From what you've said, he's just not mature enough or ready to be in a true relationship.
> 
> ...


I wrote to him via WhatsApp because he usually comes only for hooking up and then leaves a few hours later. We almost never talk on deeper things and he never tells me about deep things either. Otherwise he doesn't come to see me. All he does is come to me, we chat a little, drink a few glasses and he starts his job.


I know that he had suddenly developed an obsession with red dress/clothes and turns out he was fascinated by her in red dress that she used to wear a lot during summer and he had asked me to wear red once when he would call me that he will be coming over for the night.

Cooled bit??? After 2 weeks of her approaching him to fix things?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I wrote to him via WhatsApp because he usually comes only for hooking up and then leaves a few hours later. We almost never talk on deeper things and he never tells me about deep things either. Otherwise he doesn't come to see me. All he does is come to me, we chat a little, drink a few glasses and he starts his job.
> 
> 
> I know that he had suddenly developed an obsession with red dress/clothes and turns out he was fascinated by her in red dress that she used to wear a lot during summer and he had asked me to wear red once when he would call me that he will be coming over for the night.
> ...


Why does it matter if he is into her or not? You aren't relationship material to him or he would have made that move already. 

Has he told this other woman that you are his FWB? How well do you know this other woman? How are you so knowledgeable about his interactions with this other woman, that yes, he is still into? Would you be okay with being in a relationship with him, but having another FWB?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Why does it matter if he is into her or not? You aren't relationship material to him or he would have made that move already.
> 
> Has he told this other woman that you are his FWB? How well do you know this other woman? How are you so knowledgeable about his interactions with this other woman, that yes, he is still into? Would you be okay with being in a relationship with him, but having another FWB?


It matters because as long shez in the picture he won't progress. Earlier he used to progress but ever since he met her and lost out in hooking up with her, he hasn't been the same.

No he hasn't. When he was denying liking her, he only said he was seeing someone but it is dead now. And even after their falling out and now as well, he didn't tell her anything.

We are uni students and that's why I know of their interactions


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> It matters because as long shez in the picture he won't progress. Earlier he used to progress but ever since he met her and lost out in hooking up with her, he hasn't been the same.
> 
> No he hasn't. When he was denying liking her, he only said he was seeing someone but it is dead now. And even after their falling out and now as well, he didn't tell her anything.
> 
> We are uni students and that's why I know of their interactions


Why do you want to be in a relationship with a person that you have witnessed lying to someone he wants to be in a relationship with? Do you think he will be truthful, honest and loyal to you? Have you had feelings for him since you started having sex? ANd what do you mean when you say "progress"? I'm not sure what you mean by that.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Why do you want to be in a relationship with a person that you have witnessed lying to someone he wants to be in a relationship with? Do you think he will be truthful, honest and loyal to you? Have you had feelings for him since you started having sex? ANd what do you mean when you say "progress"? I'm not sure what you mean by that.


By progress I mean he used to text for dates etc and wasn't being so sex based. After her, all he does is obsess over how to make her jealous, how to get attention from her etc and he always looks like he's disinterested. Earlier it wasn't like that. 

I just feel like if he liked her why lie to her and continue talking ? Politeness?


I saw him once when she was asking him if he knew 2 guys who also study in the same room as him and in turn he was turning male names like mariano into marianna in front of her, complimenting another girl in front of her and acting like he was very close to a classmate whom he's barely even friends with.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> By progress I mean he used to text for dates etc and wasn't being so sex based. After her, all he does is obsess over how to make her jealous, how to get attention from her etc and he always looks like he's disinterested. Earlier it wasn't like that.
> 
> I just feel like if he liked her why lie to her and continue talking ? Politeness?
> 
> ...


Okay, so progress means progress towards being in a full fledged romantic relationship with you. 

He doesn't continue talking out of politeness, it is him trying to get in her pants, that is all. 

You didn't answer the other questions. 

Why do you want to be in a relationship with a person that you have witnessed lying to someone he wants to be in a relationship with? 
Do you think he will be truthful, honest and loyal to you? 
Have you had feelings for him since you started having sex? 

Also adding, have you ever indicated to him that you might be interested in something more than FWB?


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

He's playing a long game with her. Feigning disinterest in the hopes of making her interested in him. He's trying to get her to chase him. 

He only wants one thing from you & it's not a relationship.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> He's playing a long game with her. Feigning disinterest in the hopes of making her interested in him. He's trying to get her to chase him.
> 
> He only wants one thing from you & it's not a relationship.


He wants a relationship with her ? She already told him she likes him

If not me why her? Whats so special because she admitted she liked him so she's not any challenge?⁷


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Okay, so progress means progress towards being in a full fledged romantic relationship with you.
> 
> He doesn't continue talking out of politeness, it is him trying to get in her pants, that is all.
> 
> ...


How can he get into her pants when he denied liking her and wanting anything?

Not from beginning but after 4 weeks of it, yes I developed feelings 
I texted him but no reply till now


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Dokie, you are setting yourself up for a WORLD of hurt if you continue to pursue anything more than a FWB wiht this guy.
He doesn't want a relationship with you other than sex -- that's pretty clear. He doesn't talk to you about things other than wham bam thank you mam. Next time, before any sex, bring up this topic that you want a relationship. See what happens -- BEFORE you have sex...

He clearly is into playing games -- WHY would you want someone like that.
He clearly LIES as part of his interaction with women -- WHY would you want someone like that.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> Dokie, you are setting yourself up for a WORLD of hurt if you continue to pursue anything more than a FWB wiht this guy.
> He doesn't want a relationship with you other than sex -- that's pretty clear. He doesn't talk to you about things other than wham bam thank you mam. Next time, before any sex, bring up this topic that you want a relationship. See what happens -- BEFORE you have sex...
> 
> He clearly is into playing games -- WHY would you want someone like that.
> He clearly LIES as part of his interaction with women -- WHY would you want someone like that.


I'm on the verge of leaving. I juts want to be sure that hes still doing this with her and I ll leave him.

Do you think he wants a relationship with her?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I'm on the verge of leaving. I juts want to be sure that hes still doing this with her and I ll leave him.
> 
> Do you think he wants a relationship with her?


I do think he want a relationship with her. In what form, who knows.

So you've had feelings since week 4, while he was pursuing this other woman since last year? That had to be pretty painful for you to witness. 

Why do you want to be with someone that lies and hides information so easily? One that will do things like create fake accounts to stalk someone? Why is your self esteem so low that you think he is your best option?


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> I'm on the verge of leaving. I juts want to be sure that hes still doing this with her and I ll leave him.
> 
> Do you think he wants a relationship with her?


YES YES YES he wants a relationship with her -- but he probably will NOT get one because he is playing too many games.
FORGET the other girl -- this guy is just plain NOT relationship material. If you want someone steady, move on and find a good partner.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> YES YES YES he wants a relationship with her -- but he probably will NOT get one because he is playing too many games.
> FORGET the other girl -- this guy is just plain NOT relationship material. If you want someone steady, move on and find a good partner.


But he denied saying he wants one and even said he doesn't like her?

What kind of girl is this when she is accepting him too


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I do think he want a relationship with her. In what form, who knows.
> 
> So you've had feelings since week 4, while he was pursuing this other woman since last year? That had to be pretty painful for you to witness.
> 
> Why do you want to be with someone that lies and hides information so easily? One that will do things like create fake accounts to stalk someone? Why is your self esteem so low that you think he is your best option?


Yes but I didn't know until I saw her talking to him and when I asked, he said its not my business. Then I saw them a lot , almost most of the time he used to go out to smoke and I saw him checking her out almost every time.

Then I realised he has something for her which he doesn't admit or tell.

He's just someone who is my type so I wanted to give this a shotb


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Have you read a word I’ve said in Post #s 25 & 26?

You are focused on those two and are expending all your time and energy wondering what they are doing instead of focusing on your own best interests. 

I’ll be blunt, it is rare for a guy to promote a gal from FB/FWB status to to GF status.

If he wanted you to be his GF he would date you, take you out on proper dates, introduce you to his friends and integrate you into his friend group and he wouldn’t be doing things with other girls. 

You are in the FB/FWB Zone. That is analogous to a guy being in a woman’s Friendzone. They are both very difficult to break out and about the only think either a guy or a girl can do to get out of the “Zone” and get what they really want is to walk away and stop wasting time and energy with the person who has them zoned and find someone else that actually wants to be with them.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> He's just someone who is my type so I wanted to give this a shotb


So someone who drops by, has a few drinks, dumps a load in you and then leaves to go be with other girls is your type??

You may want to reevaluate your type.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

The silver lining to all of this is if kids can survive their Hormone Storm from roughly age 19-22ish where their hormones choke off all of the higher-reasoning portions of their brains without getting knocked up, contracting an incurable or fatal STI, becoming institutionalized in a mental facility or actually dying in some alcohol/drug fueled accident or act of violence or self destruction,,, most will go on to live perfectly functional and productive lives. 

They just have to survive this period of Hormonal Toxicity somehow.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> But he denied saying he wants one and even said he doesn't like her?
> 
> What kind of girl is this when she is accepting him too


He's saving face by saying he doesn't like her. 

The challenge is that, unlike you, she won't sleep with him. You need to learn that you can't get or keep a man through sex alone. When you give it away too easily & don't make them work for it, men don't want that in a GF or wife. 

Look it's college. Have fun. Do whatever but don't think for one moment that a guy who has sex with you loves you especially if he's not making an all out effort to be with you. If like this guy who only shows up for sex, they don't call, text, DM, spend time with you etc. it's just FWB & they are using you. If you are DTF great, enjoy but stop with the fairy-tale princess BS that he will fall in love with you. 

I get that he's your type. But it's college. There are dozens of other boys who are also your type & they won't treat you so poorly.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> He's saving face by saying he doesn't like her.
> 
> The challenge is that, unlike you, she won't sleep with him. You need to learn that you can't get or keep a man through sex alone. When you give it away too easily & don't make them work for it, men don't want that in a GF or wife.
> 
> ...


OK if he's saving face by saying he doesnt but she told him she liked and cared for him.

He knows that now.

And he can't sleep with her now so he already lost the challenge??

I'm talking to another guy but I really liked this guy in particular a lot


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> So someone who drops by, has a few drinks, dumps a load in you and then leaves to go be with other girls is your type??
> 
> You may want to reevaluate your type.


By my type, I mean in physical appearance and he's also doing a PhD so he's highly educated too


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> By my type, I mean in physical appearance and he's also doing a PhD so he's highly educated too


AND... _He is also someone who drops by, has a few drinks, dumps a load in you and then leaves to go be with other girls._

and lies and hides things from potential partners and plays games with women. 

Is that your type too?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> AND... _He is also someone who drops by, has a few drinks, dumps a load in you and then leaves to go be with other girls._
> 
> and lies and hides things from potential partners and plays games with women.
> 
> Is that your type too?


He lied to her. That's his issue with her that he cannot stop being affected by her actions


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He lied to her. That's his issue with her that he cannot stop being affected by her actions


Right, he is willing to lie and hide things to get someone to date him. Is that you kind of man?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Right, he is willing to lie and hide things to get someone to date him. Is that you kind of man?


He said he didnt like her. How is he trying to date her?


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> He lied to her. That's his issue with her that he cannot stop being affected by her actions





dokieok252 said:


> He said he didnt like her. How is he trying to date her?


You’re still talking about them.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> I'm on the verge of leaving. I juts want to be sure that hes still doing this with her and I ll leave him.
> 
> Do you think he wants a relationship with her?


You are asking the wrong question. It does not matter if he wants a relationship with her.

He DOES NOT want a relationship with you. That's the important thing here. You want to be his plan B. You aren't even that. You are just a piece of ass to him. Why would you want that? Is he that good of a lay?

What I suggest is dump him. Get some self respect. stop hooking up with a guy you hope might like your and treat you right one day...... Make them treat you right in the beginning.

It's fine to go out hooking up if you like but don't go out hooking up thinking you are going to get a relationship out of it.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> By my type, I mean in physical appearance and he's also doing a PhD so he's highly educated too


You would be wise to add character and how someone treats people and especially how they treat YOU to your list of criteria. 

Someone can be good looking and be good at math and like to go to school, but that does not make them a good person or relationship material and that it certainly does not make them the right person for you.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> You are asking the wrong question. It does not matter if he wants a relationship with her.
> 
> He DOES NOT want a relationship with you. That's the important thing here. You want to be his plan B. You aren't even that. You are just a piece of ass to him. Why would you want that? Is he that good of a lay?
> 
> ...


I only want to know if he's over her or not so that I can clarify where we stand. 
So if you could answer that it would be very helpful


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> You’re still talking about them.





oldshirt said:


> You would be wise to add character and how someone treats people and especially how they treat YOU to your list of criteria.
> 
> Someone can be good looking and be good at math and like to go to school, but that does not make them a good person or relationship material and that it certainly does not make them the right person for you.


Could you please answer my original question? It's going unanswered and it's giving me anxiety where my questions are being ignored


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> I only want to know if he's over her or not so that I can clarify where we stand.
> So if you could answer that it would be very helpful


He's not over her. It doesn't matter. If he got over her he'd just move on to someone else not you.

Where you stand is he wants to have sex with you but doesn't want a relationship with you.

When you go to clarify with him, he'll say what you want to get you to continue to have sex with him but he DOES NOT want to be in a relationship with you.


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## Jimi007 (5 mo ago)

SMFH......


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> He's not over her. It doesn't matter. If he got over her he'd just move on to someone else not you.
> 
> Where you stand is he wants to have sex with you but doesn't want a relationship with you.
> 
> When you go to clarify with him, he'll say what you want to get you to continue to have sex with him but he DOES NOT want to be in a relationship with you.


He's still seeing me and I'm sure he's meeting other girls too. 

Is there any specific reason why you think he's not over her? He deleted her and didn't re-add her


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Anastasia6 said:


> You are asking the wrong question. It does not matter if he wants a relationship with her.
> 
> He DOES NOT want a relationship with you. That's the important thing here.


Today’s homework assignment - read this above again and again and again until it finally sinks in and you get it.

If he wanted a legit relationship with you , he already would have. 

What he wants to do here is stop by your place, get his tank drained, and then get with other girls.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I only want to know if he's over her or not so that I can clarify where we stand.
> So if you could answer that it would be very helpful


Whether he is over her or not does not change where you stand with him. It doesn't need clarification. You are a **** buddy to him, that is all.

Are you going to keep asking until someone says, yep he's over her, you should go for it?


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)




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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Whether he is over her or not does not change where you stand with him. It doesn't need clarification. You are a **** buddy to him, that is all.
> 
> Are you going to keep asking until someone says, yep he's over her, you should go for it?


I did not ask about myself. 

I asked about them. I know we are fwbs and I don't need to know that.

I just need to know if he's done with her hence the lack of resentment now towards her


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> View attachment 94407


So why did he lie to her if you think he likes her? She admitted her feelings but he rejected her saying he doesnt like her or want anything


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He's still seeing me and I'm sure he's meeting other girls too.
> 
> Is there any specific reason why you think he's not over her? He deleted her and didn't re-add her


Everything you posted says he's not over her. If she suddenly wanted a sexual relationship with him there is zero doubt he would be on it. And he would probably love to keep you as a side piece.


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> I did not ask about myself.
> 
> I asked about them. I know we are fwbs and I don't need to know that.
> 
> I just need to know if he's done with her hence the lack of resentment now towards her


But you are obsessed on whether he is done with her or not. He is not.

Your obsession comes from a delusion that you can now move into something more. You can't. People are trying to help you here.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> Could you please answer my original question? It's going unanswered and it's giving me anxiety where my questions are being ignored


It’s not going unanswered.

Everyone has been telling you the answer. 

You just don’t want to hear it or accept it.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Whether he is over her or not does not change where you stand with him. It doesn't need clarification. You are a **** buddy to him, that is all.
> 
> Are you going to keep asking until someone says, yep he's over her, you should go for it?





dokieok252 said:


> I did not ask about myself.
> 
> I asked about them. I know we are fwbs and I don't need to know that.
> 
> I just need to know if he's done with her hence the lack of resentment now towards her


No need to because I know we are fwbs.instead of answering my question, you keep dodging it and giving me free advice that I didn't even ask for


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> No need to because I know we are fwbs.instead of answering my question, you keep dodging it and giving me free advice that I didn't even ask for


How can I be any clearer? He is not moved past her.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Everything you posted says he's not over her. If she suddenly wanted a sexual relationship with him there is zero doubt he would be on it. And he would probably love to keep you as a side piece.


He knows he won't get sex from her. She mentioned liking him romantically not for sexual purposes to which he rejected her


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> How can I be any clearer? He is not moved past her.


But you never said what reasons make you think so?like I told you that he's still seeing me and meeting other girls.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He knows he won't get sex from her. She mentioned liking him romantically not for sexual purposes to which he rejected her


See, she just isn't an easy lay. That seems to be what he is going for and got with you. She just won't jump in the sack with him. She wants a real relationship and sex will come later.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> No need to because I know we are fwbs.instead of answering my question, you keep dodging it and giving me free advice that I didn't even ask for


No one here can tell you why he says the things he says. Also were you actually in the conversation or he TOLD you that's what he told her?

He's a liar and a player. We can't know why he lies. You can't tell when he's lying.

LOOK AT HIS ACTIONS NOT HIS WORDS.

I hope you dump him and find someone worth you time. I hope you find self esteem. 
I shouldn't have answered in the first place as I can't continue. I"m out of this thread at least for a while. Good luck.

Oh and internet forums. People are going to tell you want they want. they aren't going to only answer you question. We can all clearly see you are a side piece. You want to be more and you somehow think only this girl is stopping you. IT isn't about this girl. IT's the guy. He doesn't want you. Well not enough anyway. Never settle for plan B,C or D.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> But you never said what reasons make you think so?like I told you that he's still seeing me and meeting other girls.


You are very thick headed. Everything you've said about him, everything, leads me to believe he is still interested in her. Just because he is still shopping around doesn't change that he still sees her as in play.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> See, she just isn't an easy lay. That seems to be what he is going for and got with you. She just won't jump in the sack with him. She wants a real relationship and sex will come later.


Yes so now he knows that they are incompatible on their needs and wants. He already told her he's not looking for anything then why wont he get over her?
He wants casual sex and she wants a real relationship. Completely incompatible


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You are very thick headed. Everything you've said about him, everything, leads me to believe he is still interested in her. Just because he is still shopping around doesn't change that he still sees her as in play.





dokieok252 said:


> Yes so now he knows that they are incompatible on their needs and wants. He already told her he's not looking for anything then why wont he get over her?
> He wants casual sex and she wants a real relationship. Completely incompatible


He knows they aren't on the same page


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes so now he knows that they are incompatible on their needs and wants. He already told her he's not looking for anything then why wont he get over her?
> He wants casual sex and she wants a real relationship. Completely incompatible


You aren't anymore compatible are you? You've decided you want more than FWB but that isn't what he is looking for in a relationship. Completely incompatible, no?


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes so now he knows that they are incompatible on their needs and wants. He already told her he's not looking for anything then why wont he get over her?
> He wants casual sex and she wants a real relationship. Completely incompatible


If you have this all figured out, then why do you keep asking us about it?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You aren't anymore compatible are you? You've decided you want more than FWB but that isn't what he is looking for in a relationship. Completely incompatible, no?


I'm still OK with fwb.
She obvious isn't. There is a difference


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He knows they aren't on the same page


If you are so sure, why are here asking? Then proceeding to argue with everyone that isn't telling you what you want to hear?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I'm still OK with fwb.
> She obvious isn't. There is a difference


Then why don't you stop worrying about her? He didn't want her for more than sex anyway, so if you want to pursue a real relationship with him why not tell him so and see what happens?

I think that is a mistake, but what do you have to lose?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> If you are so sure, why are here asking? Then proceeding to argue with everyone that isn't telling you what you want to hear?





BigDaddyNY said:


> Then why don't you stop worrying about her? He didn't want her for more than sex anyway, so if you want to pursue a real relationship with him why not tell him so and see what happens?
> 
> I think that is a mistake, but what do you have to lose?


You say hes not over her and now you day he didn't want her fir more than sex?

I think I'm not the one who has mixed up things


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> I only want to know if he's over her or not so that I can clarify where we stand.
> So if you could answer that it would be very helpful


We are never going to be able to tell that with any certainty because all of our information is coming from you and is biased by you. But going by what we do get from you, this man is not showing any ethical behavior, not even that due to a friend with benefits. His status with other women is not the point, even though you keep coming back to it. The point is how he treats you and how he treats others. You described stalking behavior. You described behavior of the getting being more important than the having. His behavior is one of a person who will not appreciate who he has, but wants what he doesn't have. This is not the kind of behavior, as you described it, of one who can hold a long term relationship. And if that is what you want, then he is not the one to provide it. If you simply want to be the sex partner, then maybe, but even then I would not trust such a person as you described as to keep me informed about the minimum information need to provide for my health and safety.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

maquiscat said:


> We are never going to be able to tell that with any certainty because all of our information is coming from you and is biased by you. But going by what we do get from you, this man is not showing any ethical behavior, not even that due to a friend with benefits. His status with other women is not the point, even though you keep coming back to it. The point is how he treats you and how he treats others. You described stalking behavior. You described behavior of the getting being more important than the having. His behavior is one of a person who will not appreciate who he has, but wants what he doesn't have. This is not the kind of behavior, as you described it, of one who can hold a long term relationship. And if that is what you want, then he is not the one to provide it. If you simply want to be the sex partner, then maybe, but even then I would not trust such a person as you described as to keep me informed about the minimum information need to provide for my health and safety.


Well he has already lost her by lying to her so there is no point of him wanting what he can't have
He blew his own


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Could you please answer my original question? It's going unanswered and it's giving me anxiety where my questions are being ignored


No it's not going unanswered. We're just not answering in the manner you hoped for us to. We are giving you actual advice and not just blindly confirming your hopes for the situation. And quite honestly, you've been lucky in that none of our more ardent enforcers of monogamy have been in here to tear you down. So far almost all answers have come from people who, if not practicing ENM itself, at least do not berate others for practicing it.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

maquiscat said:


> No it's not going unanswered. We're just not answering in the manner you hoped for us to. We are giving you actual advice and not just blindly confirming your hopes for the situation. And quite honestly, you've been lucky in that none of our more ardent enforcers of monogamy have been in here to tear you down. So far almost all answers have come from people who, if not practicing ENM itself, at least do not berate others for practicing it.


It is going unanswered because nobody has replied as to why they he's not over her. Asked multiple times with no replies. And then comes the replies which say she's fading away, he didn't view her for more than sex and when asked that why are you saying hes not over her then no reply


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

maquiscat said:


> No it's not going unanswered. We're just not answering in the manner you hoped for us to. We are giving you actual advice and not just blindly confirming your hopes for the situation. And quite honestly, you've been lucky in that none of our more ardent enforcers of monogamy have been in here to tear you down. So far almost all answers have come from people who, if not practicing ENM itself, at least do not berate others for practicing it.


And since she has the feels. Perhaps she should consider monogamy because friends with benefits isn't going to get her where she wants to be.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> And since she has the feels. Perhaps she should consider monogamy because friends with benefits isn't going to get her where she wants to be.


As usual no reply to Original question but constant free advice that was asked for


----------



## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> As usual no reply to Original question but constant free advice that was asked for


AS usual you didn't answer any of the questions I previously asked.

HOW do you know what he said to the other girl. HOW do you know what she said? HOW do you know anything about their relationship?

It is most likely all what he's told you.

He's a liar.

Really are you sure you are in Uni? or is this middle school?


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

If you want to know the truth then always watch actions and do not ever rely on words. 

People’s actions and behaviors tell the truth, their lips and tongue can lie and deceive.

If he’s still associating with her, then they are still a thing. If he talks to her, it’s a thing. If he calls or txts her, it’s a thing. If he takes her calls and responds to her txts, it’s a thing. If he sees her and gets with her in any fashion, it is a thing. If he hooks up with her, it is a thing. If he takes her out on dates, then they are dating. If he buys her a ring and proposes and she accepts, then they are engaged. If he marries her, then they are married. If he knocks her up, then they are parents. 

If throughout all of this, he is telling you that they aren’t a thing, then he is lying and deceiving and manipulating you. 

Actions and behaviors always trump what someone says.

If he only comes over and bangs you but doesn’t take you out on proper dates or introduces you and integrates you into his social circles and family, then you are just a fck toi and not a GF. 

If he is getting with other girls in any capacity, then he is spinning plates and player and not your BF and he doesn’t want to be your BF.

Do you know how I know he doesn’t want to be your BF? 

Answer = because he is not taking you out on proper dates, integrating you into his friends and family and he is seeing other girls. 

If he wanted to be your BF, he would be your BF. 

The fact that he is not doing those things, means that he does not want to. 

You see, you don’t need to ask us these questions but your own eyes will tell you all you need know if you watch his actions and behaviors.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Anastasia6 said:


> AS usual you didn't answer any of the questions I previously asked.
> 
> HOW do you know what he said to the other girl. HOW do you know what she said? HOW do you know anything about their relationship?
> 
> ...


I know this not because he told me I know this because they argued and spoke all of this in the common room itself where we were having lunch.
As the girl got angry at his behaviour, it was pretty clear to hear everything that was going on.

And I ve been seeing them together since 1 year


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> You say hes not over her and now you day he didn't want her fir more than sex?
> 
> I think I'm not the one who has mixed up things


Now you've changed what we are talking about. Based on what you say here, that he never wanted a relationship, just sex, then there is nothing to get over, right? He never wanted her for more, as you have said.

He isn't over her in that he would still have sex with her if she were down for it. 

He was never in a position to get over her from a romantic relationship standpoint since he has never been interested in her that way. 

It doesn't bother you at all that he was shopping around for a other woman to have sex with while he still has you anytime he wants? Can't you see that he place little value in his relationship with you and you as a person?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> If you want to know the truth then always watch actions and do not ever rely on words.
> 
> People’s actions and behaviors tell the truth, their lips and tongue can lie and deceive.
> 
> ...


All I know was he had to stop talking to her like normal because she was angry at him for behaving badly but he refused to listen to her and kept saying hello to her even though she tried to force him to stop talking to her completely to which he initoally agreed but didnt follow through and kept winking/smiling, saying hello.

She also said hello but was cold with him. He probably realised she was gone for good and deleted her until she came to him asking for a chat. He agreed to chat once again in the common room and she told him she wants to be normal like before as it hurt her. He was hesistant saying how once you bake a cake it can't go back to its original state and how he wants to move forward as he feels he's in stagnation.

Though they finally agreed to talk again like before but he stopped coming to uni. If he came, he would sit for 2-3 hours and wouldn't study but just go home. 

Until yesterday when first time in 1 month he wore his white clothes again and went downstairs 4 times to smoke and eventually met her and spoke with her normally.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> But he denied saying he wants one and even said he doesn't like her?
> 
> What kind of girl is this when she is accepting him too


So -- he lied, just like he lied to her. She is accepting him because she likes him (although why, when he treats her like crap..)


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Now you've changed what we are talking about. Based on what you say here, that he never wanted a relationship, just sex, then there is nothing to get over, right? He never wanted her for more, as you have said.
> 
> He isn't over her in that he would still have sex with her if she were down for it.
> 
> ...


I never said that. You said that he didn't want her for more than sex.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> All I know was he had to stop talking to her like normal because she was angry at him for behaving badly but he refused to listen to her and kept saying hello to her even though she tried to force him to stop talking to her completely to which he initoally agreed but didnt follow through and kept winking/smiling, saying hello.
> 
> She also said hello but was cold with him. He probably realised she was gone for good and deleted her until she came to him asking for a chat. He agreed to chat once again in the common room and she told him she wants to be normal like before as it hurt her. He was hesistant saying how once you bake a cake it can't go back to its original state and how he wants to move forward as he feels he's I'm stagnation.
> 
> ...





jlg07 said:


> So -- he lied, just like he lied to her. She is accepting him because she likes him (although why, when he treats her like crap..)


More info @jlg07


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

If he has a y interaction with her it isn't over


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> All I know was he had to stop talking to her like normal because she was angry at him for behaving badly but he refused to listen to her and kept saying hello to her even though she tried to force him to stop talking to her completely to which he initoally agreed but didnt follow through and kept winking/smiling, saying hello.
> 
> She also said hello but was cold with him. He probably realised she was gone for good and deleted her until she came to him asking for a chat. He agreed to chat once again in the common room and she told him she wants to be normal like before as it hurt her. He was hesistant saying how once you bake a cake it can't go back to its original state and how he wants to move forward as he feels he's in stagnation.
> 
> ...


I didn’t know junior high schools allowed smoking on school property. Did the teachers see him do this?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> I didn’t know junior high schools allowed smoking on school property. Did the teachers see him do this?


We are phd students in mid twenties


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> If he has a y interaction with her it isn't over


This is the interaction 

Said hi to each other and he was asking her about football, telling her how he doesn't like his home team because they have obnoxious and bad mentality who think they know everything. He told her about his holiday plans and when she was coming along with him, he didnt stop her. 2 weeks ago, he did tell her hes going inside and she didnt accompany him but this time he didn't. He also didn't tell her that he's still seeing me.

She also told him that she got her library card extended and he said that's good and how she can use the library etc.


----------



## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> We are phd students in mid twenties


??????????????


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> It is going unanswered because nobody has replied as to why they he's not over her. Asked multiple times with no replies. And then comes the replies which say she's fading away, he didn't view her for more than sex and when asked that why are you saying hes not over her then no reply


he;s not over her BECAUSE HE'S NOT OVER her. How would folks on here who know NOTHING about him other than the actions you've described be able to tell you that? His actions SHOW that he isn't over her. He is still hanging around her and talking to her. If he was really over her, he would make sure he DIDN'T meet her so he wouldn't have to interact with her. Clear enough answer to your question?


----------



## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

dokieok252 said:


> It is going unanswered because nobody has replied as to why they he's not over her. Asked multiple times with no replies. And then comes the replies which say she's fading away, he didn't view her for more than sex and when asked that why are you saying hes not over her then no reply


No one can know for sure why he’s not over her, but he may see her as a challenge because she wants more than he’s willing to give and she sounds like she’s not willing to settle. 

But, I’m only guessing. 🤷‍♀️

She isn’t the problem though, really. You sound like you care too much as a “FWB.” If you want to be more than a FWB, it doesn’t sound like he wants the same.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Are you on a spectrum of some type?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> he;s not over her BECAUSE HE'S NOT OVER her. How would folks on here who know NOTHING about him other than the actions you've described be able to tell you that? His actions SHOW that he isn't over her. He is still hanging around her and talking to her. If he was really over her, he would make sure he DIDN'T meet her so he wouldn't have to interact with her. Clear enough answer to your question?





dokieok252 said:


> All I know was he had to stop talking to her like normal because she was angry at him for behaving badly but he refused to listen to her and kept saying hello to her even though she tried to force him to stop talking to her completely to which he initoally agreed but didnt follow through and kept winking/smiling, saying hello.
> 
> She also said hello but was cold with him. He probably realised she was gone for good and deleted her until she came to him asking for a chat. He agreed to chat once again in the common room and she told him she wants to be normal like before as it hurt her. He was hesistant saying how once you bake a cake it can't go back to its original state and how he wants to move forward as he feels he's in stagnation.
> 
> ...





dokieok252 said:


> This is the interaction
> 
> Said hi to each other and he was asking her about football, telling her how he doesn't like his home team because they have obnoxious and bad mentality who think they know everything. He told her about his holiday plans and when she was coming along with him, he didnt stop her. 2 weeks ago, he did tell her hes going inside and she didnt accompany him but this time he didn't. He also didn't tell her that he's still seeing me.
> 
> She also told him that she got her library card extended and he said that's good and how she can use the library etc.



What is your opinion on this?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> What is your opinion on this?


Ok, he's just being polite, he is moved beyond her. You should go for it. Why not?


----------



## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I'm still OK with FWB


After almost 6 pages, it is obvious that this is clearly not
the case.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

My opinion is that you are spending WAY too much time worrying about their interaction instead of living YOUR life.
Dump this guy (you see him with rose-colored glasses and he is NOT worth it at all), stop the FWB, and move on.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Ok, he's just being polite, he is moved beyond her. You should go for it. Why not?


Please tell why you think he's not being polite?

He has not readded her on whatsapp


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> My opinion is that you are spending WAY too much time worrying about their interaction instead of living YOUR life.
> Dump this guy (you see him with rose-colored glasses and he is NOT worth it at all), stop the FWB, and move on.


Please tell me your opinion on it last time and I will stop bothering


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

It frightens me that you are PhD student yet this dense. You need to become a better student of human nature.



dokieok252 said:


> I only want to know if he's over her or not so that I can clarify where we stand.
> So if you could answer that it would be very helpful


Where you stand is out in the cold. No matter his feelings or desire for her, even if she didn't exist, he still doesn't want to commit to you. If he did, he would have done so by now. He uses you for easy sex because you let him.



dokieok252 said:


> He's still seeing me and I'm sure he's meeting other girls too.
> 
> Is there any specific reason why you think he's not over her? He deleted her and didn't re-add her


I think he's not over her because that is what his actions are telling me. He still talks to her. He still flirts with her. When he says he's over her that is an act. He's lying to everybody to save face.



dokieok252 said:


> But you never said what reasons make you think so?like I told you that he's still seeing me and meeting other girls.


You are his sex partner. But you are not enough for him. If he's chasing her AND seeing other girls, you only fit in when he wants to get his rocks off. 



dokieok252 said:


> He knows they aren't on the same page


But he still thinks he can get her onto his page & into his bed. He's banking on a war of attrition, that eventually she will come around & sleep with him. 

Think about the way you are pining after him, chasing him & hoping that he will eventually chose you. You're waiting & hoping because you like him so much. You are willing to excuse all his other bad behavior -- chasing her, seeing other girls, using you. He's doing the same thing with her. Only in that case, all she did was say no to casual & demanded a relationship because she has self respect. He keeps trying. You two are playing the same hopeless game, chasing after people you can never have.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Please tell why you think he's not being polite?
> 
> He has not readded her on whatsapp


Why does it matter so much? Either you are interested in pursuing a relationship with him or not.


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> He knows he won't get sex from her. She mentioned liking him romantically not for sexual purposes to which he rejected her


Well, she must be smarter than you.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> Please tell me your opinion on it last time and I will stop bothering


Ok here it is -- and you probably won't listen again -- he STILL likes her because he is trying even BS conversations just so that he can talk to her. Clear enough?

You need to focus on YOU. He isn't worth it.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> It frightens me that you are PhD student yet this dense. You need to become a better student of human nature.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I am only confused because when someone rejects another saying they have no interest and don't want a relationship then why be so unhappy if she decided to leave him?
He can no longer sleep with her as he killed his own chances. You say hes saying hes over her to save face but how he can he go back to his words from saying he doesnt like her to liking her enough to take her home? And the way she has come across, she wont even go home with him without a relationship. Something he will never agree on with her too.

I dont understand where he flirted?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> Ok here it is -- and you probably won't listen again -- he STILL likes her because he is trying even BS conversations just so that he can talk to her. Clear enough?
> 
> You need to focus on YOU. He isn't worth it.


He didnt add her back on whatsapp. And BS conversations? 
She saw him and said hi and went over to talk hence they started talking.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Why does it matter so much? Either you are interested in pursuing a relationship with him or not.


He read my text but hasn't replied


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

I get that you don't understand where he flirted. It wasn't in his words. It was the fact that he was interacting with her at all. There were probably a whole host of none verbal cues that you missed including how far apart they were, the angle of their shoulders relative to each other, even the way his feet were pointed. 

When he says he's over her he's LYING!!!!!

I get it. You like him & you want him to like you back. You are trying to show him how much you care about him by sleeping with him & reaching out. Unfortunately that has the opposite effect. So stop. There is an old saying: the fastest way to catch a man is to let him chase you. The other girl knows this & is playing the part perfectly.

The more you chase & beg, the less he values you. 

At this point IMO it's hopeless. Even if the other girl fell off the face of the earth tomorrow, he's still not going to pick you. 

How much longer are you willing to put up with being used for sex? Why are you wasting your opportunities to meet another more suitable partner, one who actually values you?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> I get that you don't understand where he flirted. It wasn't in his words. It was the fact that he was interacting with her at all. There were probably a whole host of none verbal cues that you missed including how far apart they were, the angle of their shoulders relative to each other, even the way his feet were pointed.
> 
> When he says he's over her he's LYING!!!!!
> 
> ...


Well all I know he stood front facing and she was facing him and a lot of students were cheering for the match so he broached this football topic.

Don't you think he maybe just being civil because he knows she likes him and he just wants attention?m

You say the girl is letting him chase but she already lost the game because she told him she liked him and cared for him. And she also revived their dead "relationship" . 

He practically did nothing, apart from deleting her number and still isn't doing anything except they just met and since last 2days, he didnt go to uni.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He read my text but hasn't replied


So again, forget about the OW for now. You texted him how long ago , and got no response? What does that tell you about his feelings towards you? What do you think his lack of a response means?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> So again, forget about the OW for now. You texted him how long ago , and got no response? What does that tell you about his feelings towards you? What do you think his lack of a response means?


He has always done this . Whenever I ask for more, he doesn't reply


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> He has always done this . Whenever I ask for more, he doesn't reply


Yeah, he doesn't want more. If he did, he would have said something. 

As far as the other girl, and how he feels about her-- nobody on this message board will be able to tell you. He knows, but what he tells you or anyone else may not be completely truthful. In any event, she is not having sex with him and you are. So... you are the big winner. Congrats.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He has always done this . Whenever I ask for more, he doesn't reply


Then you have your answer, don't you?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Then you have your answer, don't you?


Yes but my main concern is this girl because I'm.scared that if he somehow decides to commit, he can go to her


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes but my main concern is this girl because I'm.scared that if he somehow decides to commit, he can go to her


So you're jealous of her? That she might get from him what he won't give to you? Out of curiosity, when was the last time you had sex with him?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> So you're jealous of her? That she might get from him what he won't give to you? Out of curiosity, when was the last time you had sex with him?


Yes of course because she made it clear in her ways that her interest in him is romantic not sexual. He himself told her that he wasnt expecting romantic. 
So he knows he can't get sex or hook up 

What if he decides to stop hooking up and go to her for a relationship?

3 weeks ago and we made out a few days ago but thats it


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes but my main concern is this girl because I'm.scared that if he somehow decides to commit, he can go to her


Why do you care? This guy is NOT good for you, and will NOT have a relationship with you other than sex.
YOU go find someone else who will care about you and put him in the rear view mirror.
WHY do you persist in this? You've had the same answer from just about everyone on here. Those answers won't change.

You want this:
You are right, he doesn't like her anymore and will ABSOLUTELY love being in a relationship with you.

Guess what --- it's 100% not true.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes of course because she made it clear in her ways that her interest in him is romantic not sexual. He himself told her that he wasnt expecting romantic.
> So he knows he can't get sex or hook up
> 
> What if he decides to stop hooking up and go to her for a relationship?
> ...


Your choices are very clear. You can either continue to be his FWB or you move on. It is painfully obvious he has no interest in a romantic relationship, with you or anyone it seems. He just wants sex. 

Please don't delude yourself. You are only a piece of ass for him and he's trying to add more to his stable. How would you feel if the OW agreed to be his FWB? Would you continue to be his FWB too?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Your choices are very clear. You can either continue to be his FWB or you move on. It is painfully obvious he has no interest in a romantic relationship, with you or anyone it seems. He just wants sex.
> 
> Please don't delude yourself. You are only a piece of ass for him and he's trying to add more to his stable. How would you feel if the OW agreed to be his FWB? Would you continue to be his FWB too?


That girl won't be his fwb. She's something else 

As of now, I'm his fwb and I know there's another girl he's hooked up with but I can't stop him. He gets really aggressive if confronted


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> Why do you care? This guy is NOT good for you, and will NOT have a relationship with you other than sex.
> YOU go find someone else who will care about you and put him in the rear view mirror.
> WHY do you persist in this? You've had the same answer from just about everyone on here. Those answers won't change.
> 
> ...


OK so why didn't he re add her on whatsapp if he still likes her?
Do you think he would lose her contact info if he liked her?

She told him she didn't delete him but he did and he didn't add her again as she was saying she can't see his last seen anymore.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> OK so why didn't he re add her on whatsapp if he still likes her?
> Do you think he would lose her contact info if he liked her?
> 
> She told him she didn't delete him but he did and he didn't add her again as she was saying she can't see his last seen anymore.


who cares? If you are this obsessed about trivial things about a person who is a commitment-phobe, you should maybe seek a mental health professional


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> who cares? If you are this obsessed about trivial things about a person who is a commitment-phobe, you should maybe seek a mental health professional


Please at least give some insight into this? You say he isn't over her and still likes her but then he deletes her and doesn't re add her. 
At least you can give your reasoning why you think so because I'm in his contacts but she's no longer


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

jlg07 said:


> who cares? If you are this obsessed about trivial things about a person who is a commitment-phobe, you should maybe seek a mental health professional


This times a million. 

I can't believe this thread is continuing. 

OP keeps asking questions like my son did when he was 3. Truly.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> Please at least give some insight into this? You say he isn't over her and still likes her but then he deletes her and doesn't re add her.
> At least you can give your reasoning why you think so because I'm in his contacts but she's no longer





Livvie said:


> This times a million.
> 
> I can't believe this thread is continuing.
> 
> OP keeps asking questions like my son did when he was 3. Truly.


This is a valid question which is still unanswered


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Mommy, why is the dog spinning around? Because the dog is chasing his tail. 

Why is the dog chasing his tail?
Because he wants to grab
it?
Why he wants to grab it? Because he thinks that it belongs to another dog. 

Why he thinks that it belongs to another dog? Because he can't recognize his own tail.

Why he can't recognize his own tail?
Because he's a silly dumb dog.

Why is him a silly dumb dog?
Because he just is.

But why he just is? Because he was born that way. 

Mommy, but why he was borne that way? Because...why?...Because...why?...Because...why? Because...why?....Because...why?, why? Why?, why?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> That girl won't be his fwb. She's something else
> 
> As of now, I'm his fwb and I know there's another girl he's hooked up with but I can't stop him. He gets really aggressive if confronted


So why do you want to be in a relationship with a man that is only interested in women for sex, hooks up with multiple women at the same time, won't respond to you and is aggressive when confronted about hooking up with multiple women? 

Do you think you can "fix" him? 
Do you think he is the best you can do?
Suppose he isn't interested in her, what will you do?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> This is a valid question which is still unanswered


All your questions have been answered. There is just something damaged inside you that is preventing you from recognizing it.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> All your questions have been answered. There is just something damaged inside you that is preventing you from recognizing it.


The fact he deleted and didn't re add hasn't been answered


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> The fact he deleted and didn't re add hasn't been answered


He doesn't see any reason to add her back or he did and you are unaware.


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> The fact he deleted and didn't re add hasn't been answered


who exactly is supposed to answer this?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> He doesn't see any reason to add her back or he did and you are unaware.


Then that clearly means he's over her?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> He doesn't see any reason to add her back or he did and you are unaware.


Then that clearly means he's over her?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Then that clearly means he's over her?


Before I answer, what if he is? Multiple times you've told him you want more and he just ignores you. You confront him about other hookups and he gets aggressive. How do you envision becoming his GF and what do you think that will look like?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Before I answer, what if he is? Multiple times you've told him you want more and he just ignores you. You confront him about other hookups and he gets aggressive. How do you envision becoming his GF and what do you think that will look like?


I know that once she goes at least he can stop obsessing over stupid things and if it doesn't work out, we can break up.

Now can you answer please?


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Then that clearly means he's over her?


No it doesn't. Social media means nothing.

You are scared he's going to go to her. You should be. he will eventually stop using you for sex & get into a relationship with somebody. It will just never be you. 

There will never be a break up. You aren't dating. You are just F'ing. You mean about as much to him as his right hand. His masturbation hand probably means more because that would hurt if it were cut off. If you went away or heaven forbid even died, he might not notice. 

Why is that so hard for you to understand? He does NOT want you! Get that through your head.

Yes, that sucks. Yes it hurts. Yes, I'm yelling at you. 

But you know what, you don't seem to care or understand that you are being used. So take a sexy selfie of your hoo-ha, send it to him & tell him it's his for the asking as soon as he shows up at your door. He'll be there soon. You can have sex. You can continue to delude yourself that him pumping you full of sperm means anything. Eventually he will move on & you will be left alone, having wasted your time & destroyed your own self esteem wondering WTF happened. Hopefully you won't end up pregnant or tanking your GPA.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> No it doesn't. Social media means nothing.
> 
> You are scared he's going to go to her. You should be. he will eventually stop using you for sex & get into a relationship with somebody. It will just never be you.
> 
> ...


He kept her for a year despite of everything and only when she left him or sort of left him, he had no choice but to delete as he himself told her that he was feeling stagnated and wants to move forward (from her). When she asked him that he told her he doesn't like her then what is he moving forward from, he remained silent.

I saw him myself that he wouldn't sit and study. He would leave early, look very dejected and was just behaving oddly when she was cold with him/cut ties with him. When he deleted her, only then he was sitting for longer hours and studying until she came back and fixed it. Turns out the next week he stopped coming and kept leaving early again.

Him deleting her was significant because that's what he told her. Moving forward but she didn't delete him.

I'm scared because now I fear that he's either cooled off and hence he's not being resentful towards her as she fixed things with him or its him actually moving on?


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> I know that once she goes at least he can stop obsessing over stupid things and if it doesn't work out, we can break up.
> 
> Now can you answer please?


again, who here on this message board can answer? Nobody knows. 

You are the one obsessing over stupid things.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> again, who here on this message board can answer? Nobody knows.
> 
> You are the one obsessing over stupid things.


You can give opinion


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> This is a valid question which is still unanswered


I've answered your question about 10x like everyone else. Are you incapable of understanding this? If so, I find it hard to believe you are going for a masters degree.

Here is your answer again:
BECAUSE


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> I've answered your question about 10x like everyone else. Are you incapable of understanding this? If so, I find it hard to believe you are going for a masters degree.
> 
> Here is your answer again:
> BECAUSE


Because what ?


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Thank you ladies and gentlemen!!!!!

And now the moment you have all been waiting for !!!!

The Smartest Dummy Award goes to …..

Drum roll please !!!!!


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> Thank you ladies and gentlemen!!!!!
> 
> And now the moment you have all been waiting for !!!!
> 
> ...


No constructive replies as usual


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

dokieok252 said:


> No constructive replies as usual


Look in the mirror. I know I’m dense AF but jeez you are on another level.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> My fwb and the girl he wanted for a year fell out last month because he disrespected her and denied having any feelings for her even when she told him that she has feelings for him.
> 
> They never had sex but my fwb seemed like he kind of had developed feelings for her. Last year, he took her on a date but solely with the intention of hooking up. However, she did not kiss or have sex and he grew very resentful and passive aggressive towards her. But she continued to talk to him and was actually very affectionate and caring towards him.
> 
> ...


I`ll probably sound like an old fart but back in my day women would feel embarrassed stating in the public domain that they sleep around and have so-called FWBs.
When I was young and single, myself and mates had no respect for women like this, in-fact we nicknamed them the easy riders.
This is the modern day woman and not relationship material.
A sad sign of the times.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> Because what ?


Because he wants to.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> Because he wants to.


If he truly liked her he re add her not get rid of hrt contact info. I think you are missing that


----------



## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> If he truly liked her he re add her not get rid of hrt contact info. I think you are missing that


I can't believe I'm commenting again. somebody stop me.

@dokieok252 no one cares _why_ he did anything. And you shouldn't either. He's not here or I would ask him. But you are.

Why do you like him?
Why do you want him when he's chasing other women and only uses you?
Why don't you find someone else?
Why do you think we can magically know why he's thinking?

Why do you insist on getting the answer you want from us, instead of the one everyone is giving you? (_forget the guy, don't care what he's doing, move on with your life_)


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> If he truly liked her he re add her not get rid of hrt contact info. I think you are missing that


You seem to already know the answer then. Why aren't you going for it with him? Oh yeah, forgot you did that already and he just ignored you. So what's next?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

gameopoly5 said:


> I`ll probably sound like an old fart but back in my day women would feel embarrassed stating in the public domain that they sleep around and have so-called FWBs.
> When I was young and single, myself and mates had no respect for women like this, in-fact we nicknamed them the easy riders.
> This is the modern day woman and not relationship material.
> A sad sign of the times.


She didnt sleep with him yet he still rejected her


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> I can't believe I'm commenting again. somebody stop me.
> 
> @dokieok252 no one cares _why_ he did anything. And you shouldn't either. He's not here or I would ask him. But you are.
> 
> ...



If you can say he is not over her without asking him, I'm sure you can guess that I'd he wanted her he wouldnt get rid of her


----------



## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> If you can say he is not over her without asking him, I'm sure you can guess that I'd he wanted her he wouldnt get rid of her


If you can answer my questions then I will care about what else you say.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> She didnt sleep with him yet he still rejected her


I`m referring to you not some other woman.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

gameopoly5 said:


> I`m referring to you not some other woman.
> Who gives a rat`s behind about some dude and another woman and this whole hook up culture.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> If you can answer my questions then I will care about what else you say.


I told you I don't care as long as I'm still seeing him and getting what I want.
I like him hence I don't want to move on

Now can you answer?


----------



## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I told you I don't care as long as I'm still seeing him and getting what I want.
> I like him hence I don't want to move on
> 
> Now can you answer?


Not until you answer my questions, all of them, *and *I believe you're sincere.
Then I will answer what I want to answer. Take it or leave it, that's the deal.

The answer you gave here is BS. You do care. That's why you're here.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I told you I don't care as long as I'm still seeing him and getting what I want.
> I like him hence I don't want to move on
> 
> Now can you answer?


If we are talking about him wanting a lasting romantic relationship with her, as in dating, then yeah he isn't into her.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> If you can say he is not over her without asking him, I'm sure you can guess that I'd he wanted her he wouldnt get rid of her





BeyondRepair007 said:


> Not until you answer my questions, all of them, *and *I believe you're sincere.
> Then I will answer what I want to answer. Take it or leave it, that's the deal.
> 
> The answer you gave here is BS. You do care. That's why you're here.


It's not BS. At least I have something with him and so far it's not ending, I'm ok with it. 

You need to tell me your answers because I'm yet to see it because once it's like no hes not over then its like he doesn't want to date her so yes he isn't into her. 

I'm not the one going back and forth


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> If we are talking about him wanting a lasting romantic relationship with her, as in dating, then yeah he isn't into her.


Um he knows he can't get sex from her as he denied wanting anything from her. You said he isn't over her but she had already made it clear she won't hook up. Still you said he's into her. Now he's not. You are proving my point.
Then what is he into according to you?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

gameopoly5 said:


> I`m referring to you not some other woman.


You literally said women who fwb aren't relationship material. But she didn't and still got rejected


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Um he knows he can't get sex from her as he denied wanting anything from her. You said he isn't over her but she had already made it clear she won't hook up. Still you said he's into her. Now he's not. You are proving my point.
> Then what is he into according to you?


I think if presented with the opportunity to take her to bed he would do it. But I don't think he is interested in a LTR with her.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I think if presented with the opportunity to take her to bed he would do it. But I don't think he is interested in a LTR with her.


That opportunity died. Was never going to happen anyway. Yet you keep saying he isn't over her.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> It's not BS. At least I have something with him and so far it's not ending*, I'm ok with it.*
> 
> You need to tell me your answers because I'm yet to see it because once it's like no hes not over then its like he doesn't want to date her so yes he isn't into her.
> 
> I'm not the one going back and forth


So I thought the whole point of your post was that you are NOT ok with just being FWB and you wanted a committed relationship with him? So, if you are ok, then what are you really asking here because I guess I've missed it.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> So I thought the whole point of your post was that you are NOT ok with just being FWB and you wanted a committed relationship with him? So, if you are ok, then what are you really asking here because I guess I've missed it.


I think it was very clear from the start that my question was whether he was over her or not. I never asked what should I do to stop fwb


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> I think it was very clear from the start that my question was whether he was over her or not. I never asked what should I do to stop fwb


OK thanks. If he is still interacting with her as you say, it seems like there is still some sort of interest there, no?
If he was over her, he would just STOP talking to her all together...
So, that is my answer, and the reasons I think so. Adding her to whatsapp, etc. is irrelevant. He is still talking to her.
Also, if you only have his word that he hasn't added her back but haven't actually seen his whatsapp list, he may be lying about that.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> OK thanks. If he is still interacting with her as you say, it seems like there is still some sort of interest there, no?
> If he was over her, he would just STOP talking to her all together...
> So, that is my answer, and the reasons I think so. Adding her to whatsapp, etc. is irrelevant. He is still talking to her.
> Also, if you only have his word that he hasn't added her back but haven't actually seen his whatsapp list, he may be lying about that.


You still don't think he's being polite? He could have thought that being polite doesn't hurt because even wheen she cut him off, he was refusing to stop saying hello to her and each time she asked him thay she ll go away from his life if that's what he wants, he remained silent

When she was talking she told him herself that his last seen isn't visible to her so she knows he deleted her. He didn't say anything on it except smile and only said he archived the chat as he wants to more forward.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> he was refusing to stop saying hello to her and each time she asked him thay she ll go away from his life if that's what he wants, he remained silent


You have just answered your own question. He didn't tell her to go away, and he is now BACK to saying hello, etc.
No he's not just being polite.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> That opportunity died. Was never going to happen anyway. Yet you keep saying he isn't over her.


That isn't what I said. 

He doesn't want a relationship with her, but I'm pretty sure if she came to him for sex he would do it. If she doesn't, then it won't happen. If you are confident that she won't, then he's done with her.


----------



## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> I think it was very clear from the start that my question was whether he was over her or not. I never asked what should I do to stop fwb


If this is only some dude you are ***** with, than why should you care what else he does and with whom?
I have no idea what you`re on about or what exactly you want to hear, because as I said, no one cares about some dude and his love life.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> You have just answered your own question. He didn't tell her to go away, and he is now BACK to saying hello, etc.
> No he's not just being polite.


He was saying hello to her even when she was angry at him. She was saying hello but was cold to him which made him delete her and say that he wants to move on.
He was also reluctant to talk to her normally because he told her that he has no problems with her but once you bake a cake it can't go back to how it used to be before.
But then he spoke to her normally after nearly 2 weeks of that comvo.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> That isn't what I said.
> 
> He doesn't want a relationship with her, but I'm pretty sure if she came to him for sex he would do it. If she doesn't, then it won't happen. If you are confident that she won't, then he's done with her.


Good at least now you admitted he's done with her because she doesn't want a fwb I think this was also very clear in my post


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Good at least now you admitted he's done with her because she doesn't want a fwb I think this was also very clear in my post


So, do you think he is over her?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> So, do you think he is over her?


of course. He ultimately realised he wouldn't get sex and she was hostile towards him and he couldn't bear it so thought deleting her would help him move on.
Which he did 

Though she came back trying to fix it, he didn't re-add her because he knows what he wants she wont give.
If he liked her he would re-add her and not lose contact.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> of course. He ultimately realised he wouldn't get sex and she was hostile towards him and he couldn't bear it so thought deleting her would help him move on.
> Which he did
> 
> Though she came back trying to fix it, he didn't re-add her because he knows what he wants she wont give.
> If he liked her he would re-add her and not lose contact.


Makes sense, so what is your next move?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Makes sense, so what is your next move?


That wasn't my question. My next move is nothing. Everything is same for us.
It was just you saying he isn't over her and finally you agreed he is


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

What color is he into now? Let us know when he gets obsessed with black and starts wearing a lot of black shirts. Then you know it's real.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> What color is he into now? Let us know when he gets obsessed with black and starts wearing a lot of black shirts. Then you know it's real.


After their fight he was wearing black only abd had stopped wearing white. Now he's restarted wearing white


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> That wasn't my question. My next move is nothing. Everything is same for us.
> It was just you saying he isn't over her and finally you agreed he is


Why are you posting questions about this if you already believe you know the answers?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> That wasn't my question. My next move is nothing. Everything is same for us.
> It was just you saying he isn't over her and finally you agreed he is


I'm glad you're content being his cum dump, but that begs the question, what did you want from posting here? You are okay with your current status. You already had your mind made up that he was over her. Why do you need others to agree? Especially since you obviously intended to argue your point of view to the bitter end. Why did you seek our agreement?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I'm glad you're content being his cum dump, but that begs the question, what did you want from posting here? You are okay with your current status. You already had your mind made up that he was over her. Why do you need others to agree? Especially since you obviously intended to argue your point of view to the bitter end. Why did you seek our agreement?


Because I only wanted to know if he's over her


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Because I only wanted to know if he's over her


But you already knew that, no?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

dokieok252 said:


> Because I only wanted to know if he's over her


NO ONE HERE KNOWS WHAT THAT COLLEGE BOY IS THINKING. 

No one here is that accurate of a psychic or mind reader. 

If people would stop feeding the beast and posting, this merry go round would stop spinning.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

LisaDiane said:


> Why are you posting questions about this if you already believe you know the answers?





BigDaddyNY said:


> But you already knew that, no?



This is my opinion only. It may or may not be true. That's why asked


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> This is my opinion only. It may or may not be true. That's why asked


You haven't acted like you are interested in anyone else's opinion, not even once.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You haven't acted like you are interested in anyone else's opinion, not even once.


Because opinion didn't match the words. It is like yes he's not over her but when asked why you think so , either no reply or we don't know why. When opinions aren't even explained properly what is there to show interest


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

ok, good luck


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

I told you why he's not over her: 

1. he still talks to her in public. 

2. he still flirts with her (even though you deny it) 

3. he protests too much that he is done when his actions say the opposite.

You think he is over her. You claim to be content to be FWB even though you know you want more. Rule # 1 about FWB -- the minute the feelings start if they aren't mutual the benefits must stop because otherwise the person with the feelings -- here that is YOU -- will get hurt. Keep sleeping at your own risk. He doesn't care enough about you to return a text.


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## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

I am surprised nobody seems to have figured out yet that OP _*is*_ the "girl" in the post.

Not the FWB. She wants to hear that he is still into her. That's how she knows so much detailed information about their interactions. She's no bystander. It's obvious.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> I am surprised nobody seems to have figured out yet that OP _*is*_ the "girl" in the post.
> 
> Not the FWB. She wants to hear that he is still into her. That's how she knows so much detailed information about their interactions. She's no bystander. It's obvious.


If I was the girl I wouldn't need to ask because the girl would more info than what I know. I donr know most of their other conversations

And it's a bit suspicious coming from an account that joined 1 hr ago to quickly jump on this thread. Are you the girl?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> I told you why he's not over her:
> 
> 1. he still talks to her in public.
> 
> ...



Those things don't matter as he deleted her off and never added her back. And talking isn't flirting
I can't understand where are you getting flirty from


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

The fact that you can't understand that it was flirting is part of the problem here. It was non verbal. I know the type. I went to college & grad school too. Open your eyes & close your legs.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> The fact that you can't understand that it was flirting is part of the problem here. It was non verbal. I know the type. I went to college & grad school too. Open your eyes & close your legs.


Please tell me how you think someone should removed her from his life flirted?


----------



## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> If I was the girl I wouldn't need to ask because the girl would more info than what I know. I donr know most of their other conversations
> 
> And it's a bit suspicious coming from an account that joined 1 hr ago to quickly jump on this thread. Are you the girl?


I was surprised that nobody had yet figured out what this thread is really about, after multiple pages of obvious clues.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> I was surprised that nobody had yet figured out what this thread is really about, after multiple pages of obvious clues.


You are definitely the girl


----------



## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

You will find greater peace in your life if you let go of this man. 

It is clear that he is not into you the way you want him to be, and it's silly to harp over him. Don't waste your youth on a man who doesn't really want you.


----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)




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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> You will find greater peace in your life if you let go of this man.
> 
> It is clear that he is not into you the way you want him to be, and it's silly to harp over him. Don't waste your youth on a man who doesn't really want you.


I think for the time being I have what I want. If he agrees to progress more than fwb, it will happen. I dont want to lose


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> View attachment 94471


You couldn't reply to the genuine questions but come to reply this.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> The fact that you can't understand that it was flirting is part of the problem here. It was non verbal. I know the type. I went to college & grad school too. Open your eyes & close your legs.


Where was it flirting omg can you explain @D0nnivain


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

@D0nnivain


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> @D0nnivain


Just drop it already. You have plenty of answers. Go do you now.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Just drop it already. You have plenty of answers. Go do you now.


@D0nnivain hasn't answered the flirty part


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> @D0nnivain hasn't answered the flirty part



Yes I did. Please re-read my posts # 132, 210 & 214.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Yes I did. Please re-read my posts # 132, 210 & 214.


Still doesn't mention where it was flirting

Also he has visited uni in over 5 days now to see her. He's clearly avoiding her


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Face saving behavior. Sill doesn't mean he's choosing you. He has enough self respect to not chase but he still wants her.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Face saving behavior. Sill doesn't mean he's choosing you. He has enough self respect to not chase but he still wants her.


What do you mean by face saving behaviour??? 
He's the one not ready for relationship. She told


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

She wants a relationship. He does not. He still wants to have sex with her & would "do her" in a heartbeat if she'd let him. 

He is staying away & saying he doesn't want her because he thinks that makes him look cool / desirable / suave. He gets to claim that he somehow rejected her (even though she is the one who was steadfast in her beliefs) 

No matter what the state of his interaction with her -- even if she dropped dead tomorrow -- that does not mean he will pick you for a relationship. You are debasing yourself continuing to chase him when you will never be more than an F*buddy to him. 

If you want to be loved, if you want a relationship is not your guy & he never will be. Keep doing what you are you are doing at your own peril. You are only making yourself miserable.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> She wants a relationship. He does not. He still wants to have sex with her & would "do her" in a heartbeat if she'd let him.
> 
> He is staying away & saying he doesn't want her because he thinks that makes him look cool / desirable / suave. He gets to claim that he somehow rejected her (even though she is the one who was steadfast in her beliefs)
> 
> ...


Do you think this girl has a chance to be his gf or are you just attacking me?

I know for sure that when she dumped him via text, he ran back to class and kept his head on the desk for almost 2 hours. I had tried to ask him but he shoved me away.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Do you think this girl has a chance to be his gf or are you just attacking me?
> 
> I know for sure that when she dumped him via text, he ran back to class and kept his head on the desk for almost 2 hours. I had tried to ask him but he shoved me away.


What a big baby.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> What a big baby.


Sad?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Sad?


He acts like a big baby, yes that is sad. I really don't understand your attraction to him. Be honest, are you trying to turn this FWB into a real relationship because your are starting to feel dirty and used by him?


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Do you think this girl has a chance to be his gf or are you just attacking me?
> 
> I know for sure that when she dumped him via text, he ran back to class and kept his head on the desk for almost 2 hours. I had tried to ask him but he shoved me away.


Exactly. That behavior shows how much he is hurt by her. When he decides he is ready to commit, he will absolutely pick her as his GF. He will never pick you. She is the girl he takes home to mommy. He sees you as temporary & disposable, a fun dalliance when the mood strikes but nobody he cares enough to put in effort for.

As harsh as that is, I am not picking on you. I am frustrated by your utter lack of comprehension but I do not mean to attack you.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Exactly. That behavior shows how much he is hurt by her. When he decides he is ready to commit, he will absolutely pick her as his GF. He will never pick you. She is the girl he takes home to mommy. He sees you as temporary & disposable, a fun dalliance when the mood strikes but nobody he cares enough to put in effort for.
> 
> As harsh as that is, I am not picking on you. I am frustrated by your utter lack of comprehension but I do not mean to attack you.


If that's the case then why did he stop seeing her at uni by not going??? She mended things with him and also told him her feelings
He in turn kept rejecting her and disappeared on her 

It's harsh because he puts no effort for her either. He's happy to see me or other women but leaves her out in the cold ?

Also he can't commit to her because he told her he doesn't like her


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> If that's the case then why did he stop seeing her at uni by not going??? She mended things with him and also told him her feelings
> He in turn kept rejecting her and disappeared on her
> 
> It's harsh because he puts no effort for her either. He's happy to see me or other women but leaves her out in the cold ?
> ...


Why are you so hell bent of getting others to tell you he isn't into her?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Why are you so hell bent of getting others to tell you he isn't into her?



Just stating the facts.
How on earth can he even think of committing when he literally told her he doesn't have feelings for her?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Just stating the facts.
> How on earth can he even think of committing when he literally told her he doesn't have feelings for her?


He could never do that! He already told her he doesn't having feelings. He could never go back on a statement like that!


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> He could never do that! He already told her he doesn't having feelings. He could never go back on a statement like that!


Exactly. So how can he keep liking her? He can't go back on his statement so now he has to get over her. He has no choice.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Exactly. So how can he keep liking her? He can't go back on his statement so now he has to get over her. He has no choice.


Yes! He has absolutely no choice and can't go back on his statement.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Yes! He has absolutely no choice and can't go back on his statement.



Then why are you telling me that I'm trying to prove he doesn't like her when you agree?


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

He made that statement, so now he has no choice. It's a sad situation when a young man, so young, loses said choice. Life is hard. 

He did make the choice to bang our lovely OP, and it appears the door is not closed on that. So he has that going for him, which is nice.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> He made that statement, so now he has no choice. It's a sad situation when a young man, so young, loses said choice. Life is hard.
> 
> He did make the choice to bang our lovely OP, and it appears the door is not closed on that. So he has that going for him, which is nice.


Yeah so I was right. He is over her as he has no choice but to move on


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

He seems to mainly want her because she isn't sleeping with him, so she's a challenge. You, he'll never want that much or keep because he already knows you'll stay put amid all this going on right under your nose. You are totally disposable to him. 

Additionally, you all must be quite young to be playing these dumb mind games, the way he's trying to yank her chain all the time trying to gain power over her but then reacting like an incel wearing white shirts because she does. She has boundaries and reacts like one should when he is a jerk. You don't. 

You are wasting precious moments of your life with this immature dork. You will regret it in a few years, very much. You really ought to talk to a counselor about why this treatment is okay with you and why you stay. I'm sure he's mystified why you are still there and has little to no respect left for you because of it. Stop hanging in there hoping he'll magically change into the guy you hoped he was. Get shed of him and go find someone who is focused on you and that you didn't have to do all the work with.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Yeah so I was right. He is over her as he has no choice but to move on


 Yep, you're right. He can't possibly choose any path other than to move on. 

You never answered about why you are wanting to change your relationship with him. Are you feeling guilty or shameful for giving him you body with no strings attached, so now you are trying to legitimize the relationship?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> He seems to mainly want her because she isn't sleeping with him, so she's a challenge. You, he'll never want that much or keep because he already knows you'll stay put amid all this going on right under your nose. You are totally disposable to him.
> 
> Additionally, you all must be quite young to be playing these dumb mind games, the way he's trying to yank her chain all the time trying to gain power over her but then reacting like an incel wearing white shirts because she does. She has boundaries and reacts like one should when he is a jerk. You don't.
> 
> You are wasting precious moments of your life with this immature dork. You will regret it in a few years, very much. You really ought to talk to a counselor about why this treatment is okay with you and why you stay. I'm sure he's mystified why you are still there and has little to no respect left for you because of it. Stop hanging in there hoping he'll magically change into the guy you hoped he was. Get shed of him and go find someone who is focused on you and that you didn't have to do all the work with.


Yes but he lost the challenge?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Yep, you're right. He can't possibly choose any path other than to move on.
> 
> You never answered about why you are wanting to change your relationship with him. Are you feeling guilty or shameful for giving him you body with no strings attached, so now you are trying to legitimize the relationship?


Already said I like him that's why


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes but he lost the challenge?


And....so did you. You screw him recently? Or did this girl cause a little slow-down in your sex life?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Already said I like him that's why


Is that what lead you to have sex with no strings attached? Did you think that would be a way to get him to like you?


----------



## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Already said I like him that's why


So you agreed to be only casual sex with him, but now you are trying to change that on him without talking to him about it at all? That makes you seem manipulative.

I also wonder why you are asking any questions on here when you keep telling everyone what the answers are.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

dokieok252 said:


> @BeyondRepair007
> Look I really like him so please at least guess and I ll be able to pick up the que


He will never change the way her treats you. He will not magically start loving you. Trust this and you will save yourself a lot of wasted time and emotions. He now knows you are someone who will stand idly by hoping while he has sex with other women. That will never change where you are concerned.

And there is something wrong emotionally with you that you "really like him," because his is nasty behavior. What's to like? He will never be the ideal guy you fantasize about that he is in your head.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

dokieok252 said:


> But how can you say hes still into her?
> 
> He has lost his resentment I guess hence he's wearing white again but that is a bad sign because once a person doesn't care, it's over?
> 
> ...


She's mad at him because she has better sense than you do. He is playing games with her, chasing her and trying to act like he doesn't care at the same time by timing his texts, etc. You said it yourself. He's a tool.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> And....so did you. You screw him recently? Or did this girl cause a little slow-down in your sex life?





BigDaddyNY said:


> Is that what lead you to have sex with no strings attached? Did you think that would be a way to get him to like you?


Yes I like him so why not


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

dokieok252 said:


> But how was he flirting?
> They talked abiut football etc normal stuff like they used to.
> 
> And she told him she liked him, cared for him so how is she a challenge?
> ...


All he does is focus on her. You know that. And it's only because he can't have her. This is affecting his ego so he wants to solve it.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> Because that is what they want. Some women are not ready to settle down into a long term relationship but still want to have regular sex. This isn't something that they are comprimising on because they wouldn't have a relationship otherwise.


I think it's more because they are idealistic and still think that if they have a crush on a guy and are attracted, that it's fate they be together and that he will magically transform into someone who is ideal.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> She's mad at him because she has better sense than you do. He is playing games with her, chasing her and trying to act like he doesn't care at the same time by timing his texts, etc. You said it yourself. He's a tool.


He goes out with female friends but not her. He doesnt see her for over weeks and he rejected her. He said he wants to move on or move forward from her.
He knows he told her he doesn't like her so he has no choice but to move on?


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

dokieok252 said:


> Do you think there's any chance he's being polite?
> 
> I just want to put this forward because I want to know if he will be willing to have a relationship with me


He's not or he already would have. After all, you have been right there all along and he's not that stupid.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> All he does is focus on her. You know that. And it's only because he can't have her. This is affecting his ego so he wants to solve it.


Yes but he told her he wants nothing and doesn't like her.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

dokieok252 said:


> He lied to her. That's his issue with her that he cannot stop being affected by her actions


He lies to you all the time too.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

dokieok252 said:


> You still don't think he's being polite? He could have thought that being polite doesn't hurt because even wheen she cut him off, he was refusing to stop saying hello to her and each time she asked him thay she ll go away from his life if that's what he wants, he remained silent
> 
> When she was talking she told him herself that his last seen isn't visible to her so she knows he deleted her. He didn't say anything on it except smile and only said he archived the chat as he wants to more forward.


Fat chance this weasel is being polite!


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes but he lost the challenge?


Because she has better sense than you, but the ball is still in play and anything could happen.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Fat chance this weasel is being polite!



He hasn't seen her in two weeks now


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes I like him so why not


He has a lot of bad traits, like lying, brooding over a lost challenge, obsessing to the point of changing the way he dresses based on what his target wears, not exactly studious. The list goes on. What are the good qualities that attraction you and makes you like him? Is really good in bed?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> He has a lot of bad traits, like lying, brooding over a lost challenge, obsessing to the point of changing the way he dresses based on what his target wears, not exactly studious. The list goes on. What are the good qualities that attraction you and makes you like him? Is really good in bed?


He's very attractive
Very charming and speaks really well
He's amazing in bed but he doesnt let me or other girls touch him that much. Like if I want to give a hickey he won't agree. But wants to do everything to me.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He's very attractive
> Very charming and speaks really well
> He's amazing in bed but he doesnt let me or other girls touch him that much. Like if I want to give a hickey he won't agree. But wants to do everything to me.


You know why he doesn't let you give him a hickey?

BTW, are people old enough to be PhD students really into giving each other hickeys? Seems rather immature.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You know why he doesn't let you give him a hickey?
> 
> BTW, are people old enough to be PhD students really into giving each other hickeys? Seems rather immature.


We are both 26


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> He hasn't seen her in two weeks now


How long since you have seen him?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> How long since you have seen him?


Since March this year
Last week he came


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Since March this year
> Last week he came


He is not with you now? Why not?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> He is not with you now? Why not?


He is. He still comes


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> He is. He still comes


But why?


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> It's harsh because he puts no effort for her either. He's happy to see me or other women but leaves her out in the cold ?


Because he seems to treat ALL women like sh*t including you.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> Because he seems to treat ALL women like sh*t including you.


I told you he has female friends with whom he's very nice


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

We get it. You like him. 

What you refuse to understand is that he's using you. He will never be the man you want. That has nothing to do with her & everything to do with the fact that you are not his choice. You are a plaything for now. 

You are a 26 year old PhD candidate. By definition that means you aren't stupid. The fact that you continue to chose to turn a blind eye to how callously this man treats you is your choice. You deserve everything you get out of this mess. Mark my words: You are going to end up childless & alone when you are 30+ wondering what happened because you failed to make good decisions now. 

Waste your life on him now. It's yours to waste but you are only hurting yourself.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

dokieok252 said:


> I told you he has female friends with whom he's very nice


You do realize, in his case, being "nice" to all these female friends means having sex, don't you?


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> I told you he has female friends with whom he's very nice


He's "nice" because he wants to have sex with them without strings.... so yeah, I bet he's REAL nice to them....


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> We get it. You like him.
> 
> What you refuse to understand is that he's using you. He will never be the man you want. That has nothing to do with her & everything to do with the fact that you are not his choice. You are a plaything for now.
> 
> ...



She's not his choice either. Instead of accepting ger he left her and moved on. It shows


----------



## Jimi007 (5 mo ago)

To be honest, it sounds like you F$cked him and fell in love with him...

Now your obsessed 😍


----------



## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Why are you so hell bent of getting others to tell you he isn't into her?


Because she is her, and wants to keep hearing how much he is pining for her. 

Getting posters here to keep repeating that over and over validates her.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> Because she is her, and wants to keep hearing how much he is pining for her.
> 
> Getting posters here to keep repeating that over and over validates her.


Go away. You make an account to specifically comment here. Seems more like the girl herself


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

@DownByTheRiver 
@jlg07 

Why the haha reaction to the no choice post?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> @DownByTheRiver
> @jlg07
> 
> Why the haha reaction to the no choice post?


Because you aren't even smart enough to know sarcasm when you see it. You are acting like a total naïve fool.

How he feels about her has ZERO bearing on how you should act and what you should do in relation to this man.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I think it's more because they are idealistic and still think that if they have a crush on a guy and are attracted, that it's fate they be together and that he will magically transform into someone who is ideal.


I'm not going to deny that this type is out there, but I've never had a playmate who tried that particular move. Some girlfriends who thought that they could take me from poly to mono with them, but never a FWB who was as you described. Some just want f-buddies.


----------



## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> Go away. You make an account to specifically comment here. Seems more like the girl herself


Deflection won’t help you. 

Maybe there is someone in your real life who can guide you and provide some help with your relationship skills. You are clearly struggling with some obsessive thoughts and inability to let go. A good, compassionate (offline) support system can get your into a better emotional place so that rejection doesn’t affect you so deeply.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> Deflection won’t help you.
> 
> Maybe there is someone in your real life who can guide you and provide some help with your relationship skills. You are clearly struggling with some obsessive thoughts and inability to let go. A good, compassionate (offline) support system can get your into a better emotional place so that rejection doesn’t affect you so deeply.


Lmao you are funny. You need to stop inventing stories in your head and you can't be more obvious that you specifically created an account and the first post you chose to comment was this. Its obvious you are someone obsessed with this situation 

You need to learn to let go because you aren't helping anyone by repeating the same monotonous claim you are making since day 1


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Because you aren't even smart enough to know sarcasm when you see it. You are acting like a total naïve fool.
> 
> How he feels about her has ZERO bearing on how you should act and what you should do in relation to this man.


I think I was clear in my reply to you that I didn't ask what I should do or not. Seems like you can't understand basic things either


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I think I was clear in my reply to you that I didn't ask what I should do or not. Seems like you can't understand basic things either


I and everyone else understand completely. The issue is you will not and cannot stop obsessing about this and you just have to have others tell you you are right, that he is "over" this other woman. Not a single person here can definitively say what is going on in his head. We aren't mind readers and our only source of information is your biased 3rd party observations. Even you aren't able to know what is in his mind and you see him face to face. In the end it makes no difference. You've tried more than once to get him to commit to more and you just end up aggravating him. He's good with status quo. You are a disposable POA to him and he likes it that way. He can get his female companionship from others, as he appears to be doing just fine with. You let him drain his balls and he can have conversations and other socialization with his other female friends. 

Your posts stink of desperation. You are so obsessed by what you want to hear from us, that you actually believe someone is serious when they say there is NO WAY he could take back some off hand statement he made. I can't fathom how a PhD student could be so hopelessly clueless. What would make you naïve enough to believe that once this guy says something he would have no ability to take it back or change his mind? I bet your "friend" can sense this too and knows he can do what he wants with you.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I and everyone else understand completely. The issue is you will not and cannot stop obsessing about this and you just have to have others tell you you are right, that he is "over" this other woman. Not a single person here can definitively say what is going on in his head. We aren't mind readers and our only source of information is your biased 3rd party observations. Even you aren't able to know what is in his mind and you see him face to face. In the end it makes no difference. You've tried more than once to get him to commit to more and you just end up aggravating him. He's good with status quo. You are a disposable POA to him and he likes it that way. He can get his female companionship from others, as he appears to be doing just fine with. You let him drain his balls and he can have conversations and other socialization with his other female friends.
> 
> Your posts stink of desperation. You are so obsessed by what you want to hear from us, that you actually believe someone is serious when they say there is NO WAY he could take back some off hand statement he made. I can't fathom how a PhD student could be so hopelessly clueless. What would make you naïve enough to believe that once this guy says something he would have no ability to take it back or change his mind? I bet your "friend" can sense this too and knows he can do what he wants with you.


Because I think he can ? When he can lie to her (according to you guys) about everything, and then go on to reject her and leave her, why can't he accept someone who gives him what he wants?
He wants sex and casuals, I'm giving him that.
His problem with her was her not giving him sex and so he had issues with her.

Now she's gone from the picture and he can never go back to her and he knows that. That's why he avoids her now because he doesn't want her anymore. Unlike her, hes still talking to me


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Because I think he can ? When he can lie to her (according to you guys) about everything, and then go on to reject her and leave her, why can't he accept someone who gives him what he wants?
> He wants sex and casuals, I'm giving him that.
> His problem with her was her not giving him sex and so he had issues with her.
> 
> Now she's gone from the picture and he can never go back to her and he knows that. That's why he avoids her now because he doesn't want her anymore. Unlike her, hes still talking to me


See that's what I mean. Why do you think he can NEVER go back to her? Have you never heard of people breaking up and then getting back together? 

Think about this. He can't possibly change direction with this woman. What is said is set in stone. Why then do you think he will change his stance on his relationship with you when he has already been clear that he wants nothing more than sex from you?


That said, if YOU are convinced, which you seem to be, then that is all that matters, right? Why not proceed with the assumption you are correct?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> See that's what I mean. Why do you think he can NEVER go back to her? Have you never heard of people breaking up and then getting back together?
> 
> Think about this. He can't possibly change direction with this woman. What is said is set in stone. Why then do you think he will change his stance on his relationship with you when he has already been clear that he wants nothing more than sex from you?
> 
> ...



Because of his ego? He has a lot of pride and ego and he never initiates anything or does anything to swallow his pride. Why would he put down his ego for a random girl he never dated?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Because of his ego? He has a lot of pride and ego and he never initiates anything or does anything to swallow his pride. *Why would he put down his ego for a random girl he never dated?*


I don't know why, but that doesn't mean he can't or won't. There is nothing physically stopping him from doing that, so why is it so impossible in your mind?


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Because I think he can ? When he can lie to her (according to you guys) about everything, and then go on to reject her and leave her, why can't he accept someone who gives him what he wants?
> He wants sex and casuals, I'm giving him that.
> His problem with her was her not giving him sex and so he had issues with her.
> 
> Now she's gone from the picture and he can never go back to her and he knows that. That's why he avoids her now because he doesn't want her anymore. Unlike her, hes still talking to me


You win!!

Now, let's move on with the day.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I don't know why, but that doesn't mean he can't or won't. There is nothing physically stopping him from doing that, so why is it so impossible in your mind?



The first sentence. He rejected her. He can't go back saying oh I lied to you cos of this and this reason. Because of his ego


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> The first sentence. He rejected her. He can't go back saying oh I lied to you cos of this and this reason. Because of his ego


Are you seriously this dense? Does this ego have a gun to his head? He CAN say and do anything he chooses. He could say I hate you in one breath and I love you in the next.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Are you seriously this dense? Does this ego have a gun to his head? He CAN say and do anything he chooses. He could say I hate you in one breath and I love you in the next.



He said he wants to move forward from her. I wrote this as well. And by moving on, he's already doing it by not seeing her or keeping her contacts info.

He's moving on so why do you think he can change??


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He said he wants to move forward from her. I wrote this as well. And by moving on, he's already doing it by not seeing her or keeping her contacts info.
> 
> He's moving on so why do you think he can change??


What do you mean, "why do you think he can change??" Everyone can change. Everyone can change their mind, even on something they seemed to be completely inflexible. How are you so ignorant of basic human behavior?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> What do you mean, "why do you think he can change??" Everyone can change. Everyone can change their mind, even on something they seemed to be completely inflexible. How are you so ignorant of basic human behavior?


Because some humans are stubborn and inflexible and once he moves to me or somebody else, why would he even bother ?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Because some humans are stubborn and inflexible and once he moves to me or somebody else, why would he even bother ?


Humans are also often unpredictable. If an opportunity arises you have no way of predicting with certainty what he will do. 

All that really matters is what you think. If you think he's moved on and that is a trigger for you to do something, then do it.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Humans are also often unpredictable. If an opportunity arises you have no way of predicting with certainty what he will do.
> 
> All that really matters is what you think. If you think he's moved on and that is a trigger for you to do something, then do it.



Why can't you accept he has moved on?


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Because some humans are stubborn and inflexible and once he moves to me or somebody else, why would he even bother ?


You keep your mouth shut about this girl when you are f***** him right?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Why can't you accept he has moved on?


Why can't you accept that I, you or no one else can say that with 100% certainty. Why isn't it enough that you think he has moved on?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> You keep your mouth shut about this girl when you are f***** him right?



Wtf ???


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Why can't you accept that I, you or no one else can say that with 100% certainty. Why isn't it enough that you think he has moved on?



Just using common sense????
If attraction falls, ego is present, he's already dating others, why wouldn't it be certain?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Just using common sense????
> If attraction falls, ego is present, he's already dating others, why wouldn't it be certain?


Are you 100% certain that you can't get hit by a bus in the next month, even if you do everything you can to avoid getting hit?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Are you 100% certain that you can't get hit by a bus in the next month, even if you do everything you can to avoid getting hit?


If I take precautions, I can prevent but if its meant to happen then it will??

But give me one example why he would even change for a random girl he only wanted to ****?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> If I take precautions, I can prevent but if its meant to happen then it will??
> 
> But give me one example why he would even change for a random girl he only wanted to ****?


You can make it less likely, but you can never prevent it. Nothing in life is guaranteed.

After some time, he realized he does have romantic feelings for her. He changed his mind and wants more than sex from her.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You can make it less likely, but you can never prevent it. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
> 
> After some time, he realized he does have romantic feelings for her. He changed his mind and wants more than sex from her.



Um I told you he's still sleeping with me and another girl ? And flat out told her he wants nothing from her


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

The fact that you are not his one & only should be telling you all you need to know: this interaction is sex only. He doesn't care to pursue more with you. 

Why doesn't that end the inquiry?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Um I told you he's still sleeping with me and another girl ? And flat out told her he wants nothing from her


Yeah, so? I've been married to my wife 32 years and tomorrow I could decide the neighbor lady is my soulmate.

And I'll ask it again, why does it matter if he is over her or not? Especially since you are convinced he is.


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Um I told you he's still sleeping with me and another girl ? And flat out told her he wants nothing from her


Do you have scheduled nights?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> The fact that you are not his one & only should be telling you all you need to know: this interaction is sex only. He doesn't care to pursue more with you.
> 
> Why doesn't that end the inquiry?


 Because I asked abiut them. Not me


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> Do you have scheduled nights?


Sometimes otherwise he just calls that he's coming


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Yeah, so? I've been married to my wife 32 years and tomorrow I could decide the neighbor lady is my soulmate.
> 
> And I'll ask it again, why does it matter if he is over her or not? Especially since you are convinced he is.


I just want her gone that's why


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Sometimes otherwise he just calls that he's coming


I hope you understand spreading your legs for him on demand is never going to get him to commit to you.



dokieok252 said:


> I just want her gone that's why


Are you jealous of her?

ETA: And why don't you want his other **** buddy gone too?


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Sometimes otherwise he just calls that he's coming


Ok. And you need to be there when he says he is coming. Good girl.


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> I just want her gone that's why


Have you told him you want her gone?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> Have you told him you want her gone?



Yes but he always got angry and said not to interfere in his life


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I hope you understand spreading your legs for him on demand is never going to get him to commit to you.
> 
> 
> Are you jealous of her?
> ...



Because that girl doesn't like him and she has threatened to expose him multiple times


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes but he always got angry and said not to interfere in his life


So you know your place now?


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes but he always got angry and said not to interfere in his life



Which is why we keep telling you he prefers her to you. 

Even if she's gone, what does that get you? He is still having sex with other girls. Even if they were all gone he would not make you his GF.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> So you know your place now?


I asked abiut them. Not my place


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Which is why we keep telling you he prefers her to you.
> 
> Even if she's gone, what does that get you? He is still having sex with other girls. Even if they were all gone he would not make you his GF.


Again never asked who he prefers. Just want to know he's done or not


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Because that girl doesn't like him and she has threatened to expose him multiple times


She doesn't like him, but ****s him? 



dokieok252 said:


> Yes but he always got angry and said not to interfere in his life


Now that he is over her, what are you going to do?


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> I asked abiut them. Not my place


Exactly, your place is having sex with him. Not getting your nose in his other love interests.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

uwe.blab said:


> Exactly, your place is having sex with him. Not getting your nose in his other love interests.


yeah, but that isn't what she wants to hear, lol. She is hoping the other woman is out of the way without her saying anything. Like now he is magically going to drop his other FWB and fall in lurv with her.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> Exactly, your place is having sex with him. Not getting your nose in his other love interests.



Care to answer about him and the girl?


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Care to answer about him and the girl?


He is f***** you and that is all we care about.


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Care to answer about him and the girl?


I can see why he doesn't want anything more than sex from you.


----------



## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> Lmao you are funny. You need to stop inventing stories in your head


There is no need to invent. 

The truth is glaringly obvious, since you've told on yourself several times. But, I do still wish you peace moving forward. It is obvious you are feeling quite sad, lonely and rejected about all of this as you continue to seek the engagement of internet strangers to keep you company. It makes me wonder where your real friends are, and why they aren't trying to help you.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> There is no need to invent.
> 
> The truth is glaringly obvious, since you've told on yourself several times. But, I do still wish you peace moving forward. It is obvious you are feeling quite sad, lonely and rejected about all of this as you continue to seek the engagement of internet strangers to keep you company. It makes me wonder where your real friends are, and why they aren't trying to help you.



The truth is glaringly obvious. You are someone related to the girl or herself. Each time you are online, it's my thread you comment on.

I can see a sad and lonely person who makes an account to specially comment on this. Since you are the girl yourself trying to make me look better.
Account created Dec 9. First Post commented on was mine.

Quit the act.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> He is f***** you and that is all we care about.


You shouldn't be answering then


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> I can see why he doesn't want anything more than sex from you.


We go on multiple night outs abd drinks. What are you on ?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> We go on multiple night outs abd drinks. What are you on ?


First you've said that. I guess we need to read your mind to. 

So, what's next?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> The truth is glaringly obvious. You are someone related to the girl or herself. Each time you are online, it's my thread you comment on.
> 
> I can see a sad and lonely person who makes an account to specially comment on this. Since you are the girl yourself trying to make me look better.
> Account created Dec 9. First Post commented on was mine.
> ...


This sounds like delusional paranoia. Now you believe the woman that didn't want to be with him and that he doesn't have any interest in has mysteriously found/followed you to a marriage website and is trolling you. Is that right? You are really obsessed with her, aren't you?


----------



## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> Since you are the girl yourself trying to make me look better.


As a PhD student, I am surprised you failed to notice that we aren't even posting from the same country. Interesting. 

Anyway, as I said, deflecting to distract isn't working and doesn't solve your problems. I just hope you can someday move on from him. You are missing out on life by fretting this much and dissecting his every move and creating lots and lots of posts. If you were my little sister, I would unplug your devices and get you out for some fresh air and quality offline time. You might even meet a special guy out there in the real world who acutally likes you.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> As a PhD student, I am surprised you failed to notice that we aren't even posting from the same country. Interesting.
> 
> Anyway, as I said, deflecting to distract isn't working and doesn't solve your problems. I just hope you can someday move on from him. You are missing out on life by fretting this much and dissecting his every move and creating lots and lots of posts. If you were my little sister, I would unplug your devices and get you out for some fresh air and quality offline time. You might even meet a special guy out there in the real world who acutally likes you.


Um.bye.

I dont need to.move on from him. I am OK with our fwb arrangements and hope it will turn into something one day

By the way, that girl isn't a phd student lmao


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> This sounds like delusional paranoia. Now you believe the woman that didn't want to be with him and that he doesn't have any interest in has mysteriously found/followed you to a marriage website and is trolling you. Is that right? You are really obsessed with her, aren't you?


She's out of the picture so why will I be obsessed? I care about his feelings not her


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> She's out of the picture so why will I be obsessed? I care about his feelings not her


Ok, great!


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Um.bye.
> 
> I dont need to.move on from him. I am OK with our fwb arrangements and hope it will turn into something one day
> 
> By the way, that girl isn't a phd student lmao


You really hate this girl, don't you?


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Well, since you guys are only FWB, I'm struggling to figure out why you care so much about his feelings towards this other girl, or for yourself too actually. FWB aren't committed, and are free to do as they please.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> @DownByTheRiver
> @jlg07
> 
> Why the haha reaction to the no choice post?


Because what makes you thinks he CAN'T change his mind? He ALWAYS has a choice (and btw, his choice is to NOT have a real relationship with you, or apparently many others....)

AND BigDaddy was yanking your chain a bit .... It's never one way or the other with people -- it is always changeable...


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I am OK with our fwb arrangements and hope it will turn into something one day


*It won't. * That is why my heart is breaking for you. 

When you sleep with a guy like him, the guy concludes that you are "easy". He may also conclude that you are a 4 letter word beginning with S that is a harsh way of saying you are promiscuous. 

Because you F him at his convenience knowing he's having sex with others, he thinks you will F anybody, have zero self-respect & are trashy. Therefore, in his mind you will never be GF or wife material.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> Again never asked who he prefers. Just want to know he's done or not


OK here is what you want:
<SARCASM ON>
He really wants YOU -- he is TRYING to ghost that girl but is too nice of a guy to tell her to F-off, so yes he's done with her. He wants you but was hurt in his previous relationship, so he's just afraid of being hurt again, so instead of commiting to YOU, he also bangs a few other girls to try and keep from falling head over heels for you, but it's a losing battle. He just comes over to have sex with you and won't discuss anything deep because he is afraid if he does, he will find that you both have SO MUCH in common with each other, he won't be able to resist you.
</SARCASM OFF>
Hope that helps -- but it won't.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> Because what makes you thinks he CAN'T change his mind? He ALWAYS has a choice (and btw, his choice is to NOT have a real relationship with you, or apparently many others....)
> 
> AND BigDaddy was yanking your chain a bit .... It's never one way or the other with people -- it is always changeable...



But his choice is not to have a relationship with her?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> *It won't. * That is why my heart is breaking for you.
> 
> When you sleep with a guy like him, the guy concludes that you are "easy". He may also conclude that you are a 4 letter word beginning with S that is a harsh way of saying you are promiscuous.
> 
> Because you F him at his convenience knowing he's having sex with others, he thinks you will F anybody, have zero self-respect & are trashy. Therefore, in his mind you will never be GF or wife material.


If I'm easy then what made him reject someone who is apparently not easy? It makes no sense because he likes girls who want sex with him asap and not those who don't. He had ghosted her last year but they kept talking because she kept talking to him. I told you how passive aggressive he was with her even though she was caring and affectionate to him.
He even told me that she's "overbearing" with all her hugs, holding his arm etc

It's plain obvious that he doesn't care about these things


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> OK here is what you want:
> <SARCASM ON>
> He really wants YOU -- he is TRYING to ghost that girl but is too nice of a guy to tell her to F-off, so yes he's done with her. He wants you but was hurt in his previous relationship, so he's just afraid of being hurt again, so instead of commiting to YOU, he also bangs a few other girls to try and keep from falling head over heels for you, but it's a losing battle. He just comes over to have sex with you and won't discuss anything deep because he is afraid if he does, he will find that you both have SO MUCH in common with each other, he won't be able to resist you.
> </SARCASM OFF>
> Hope that helps -- but it won't.



Omg.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> Omg.


BTW, I wasn't trying to be mean with that post. I AM trying to get through to you. Almost EVERY SINGLE person commenting on your two posts has said the same thing, and you refuse to accept that he will NOT have a real full time monogamous relationship with you, and that he will continue to play around with others.
You are focusing on the ONE girl -- what about the others that he DOES hang out with and DOES have sex with? Why don't THEY bother you? You did the FWB and caught the feels -- that right there should tell you that YOU are not the type of person that a FWB works for. For your own sake, please do some self examination to see what you really want to do here, what you are willing to put up with, and how much hurt you are willing to tolerate.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> If I'm easy then what made him reject someone who is apparently not easy? It makes no sense because he likes girls who want sex with him asap and not those who don't. He had ghosted her last year but they kept talking because she kept talking to him. I told you how passive aggressive he was with her even though she was caring and affectionate to him.
> He even told me that she's "overbearing" with all her hugs, holding his arm etc
> 
> It's plain obvious that he doesn't care about these things





jlg07 said:


> BTW, I wasn't trying to be mean with that post. I AM trying to get through to you. Almost EVERY SINGLE person commenting on your two posts has said the same thing, and you refuse to accept that he will NOT have a real full time monogamous relationship with you, and that he will continue to play around with others.
> You are focusing on the ONE girl -- what about the others that he DOES hang out with and DOES have sex with? Why don't THEY bother you? You did the FWB and caught the feels -- that right there should tell you that YOU are not the type of person that a FWB works for. For your own sake, please do some self examination to see what you really want to do here, what you are willing to put up with, and how much hurt you are willing to tolerate.



Did you read this?


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

dokieok252 said:


> Again never asked who he prefers. Just want to know he's done or not


Just a thought, but have you thought about asking him if he's done with the other girl? Or, whether or not he's wanting to commit to you? He would know the answer, afterall, we can only guess.


----------



## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

dokieok252 said:


> Did you read this?


yeah, but not sure how it pertains to what I said at all. My post stands as-is.


----------



## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

dokieok252 said:


> Did you read this?


Yeah, I read it. DID YOU????


----------



## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

One day, you will find happiness, OP. I am sure. 

But not until you move on from him.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

jlg07 said:


> yeah, but not sure how it pertains to what I said at all. My post stands as-is.





Prodigal said:


> Yeah, I read it. DID YOU????


Then why are you obsessed with calling me "easy"?

He doeent give a **** about not so easy girls


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> One day, you will find happiness, OP. I am sure.
> 
> But not until you move on from him.


Lol closed her activity page to hide who she's answering because it's only me she has to reply since it's the girl or someone related to her


----------



## Canadiana (1 mo ago)

dokieok252 said:


> Lol closed her activity page to hide who she's answering because it's only me she has to reply since it's the girl or someone related to her


Kindly stop stalking my profile. I don't wish to be the new target of your unsettling fixation so it's best that you drop it 

Thank you.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Canadiana said:


> Kindly stop stalking my profile. I don't wish to be the new target of your unsettling fixation so it's best that you drop it
> 
> Thank you.


Why don't you stop stalking me and my posts? If you are innocent you wouldn't be only answering paragraphs on my thread and then closed your page when called out.
You are someone related to her or herself hence this creepy obsession with my thread. Get a life


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

He likes the girls who have sex with him because he likes sex. He's not ready to settle down & be exlcusive because he's having too much fun. 

When he is ready to settle down it will be with a new "good" girl .. . or maybe the one this thread is about. But it will NOT be you. 

You are the girl he Fs not the one he takes home to mom & marries.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> He likes the girls who have sex with him because he likes sex. He's not ready to settle down & be exlcusive because he's having too much fun.
> 
> When he is ready to settle down it will be with a new "good" girl .. . or maybe the one this thread is about. But it will NOT be you.
> 
> You are the girl he Fs not the one he takes home to mom & marries.


Didn't I mention he told her he was in a relationship that died? 

He cares about good girls? Let me tell you one thing that when he was finished with this girl on the 2nd date a year ago, he was pissed and upset and said "a waste of time" because she didnt do anything sexual with him. 

Do you think he will ever care for a good girl? Ge thinks they are waste of time and has no regard for them. That's why even after telling him her feelings, he rejected her and dumped her.


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

That's what keeps him interested in her.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

dokieok252 said:


> Didn't I mention he told her he was in a relationship that died?
> 
> He cares about good girls? Let me tell you one thing that when he was finished with this girl on the 2nd date a year ago, he was pissed and upset and said "a waste of time" because she didnt do anything sexual with him.
> 
> Do you think he will ever care for a good girl? Ge thinks they are waste of time and has no regard for them. That's why even after telling him her feelings, he rejected her and dumped her.


I think if I were him I'd run far far away from you. Your obsession with him is not only unhealthy but looks like stalking in a way.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's what keeps him interested in her.


He left for his holidays and didn't even see her. How can he still be into her?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Livvie said:


> I think if I were him I'd run far far away from you. Your obsession with him is not only unhealthy but looks like stalking in a way.


He told me this himself when I asked why he looked upset and he said he had a date and it was waste of time


----------



## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Lovely fellow.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Lovely fellow.


What do you mean?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> What do you mean?


Meaning he only likes women for their vagina. He doesn't give a crap about anything else they have to offer, just orifices for him to stick his penis in. To him you are a warm hole.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> He likes the girls who have sex with him because he likes sex. He's not ready to settle down & be exlcusive because he's having too much fun.
> 
> When he is ready to settle down it will be with a new "good" girl .. . or maybe the one this thread is about. But it will NOT be you.
> 
> You are the girl he Fs not the one he takes home to mom & marries.





BigDaddyNY said:


> Meaning he only likes women for their vagina. He doesn't give a crap about anything else they have to offer, just orifices for him to stick his penis in. To him you are a warm hole.



So what can I do to change this?


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

dokieok252 said:


> So what can I do to change this?


Wtaf.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Livvie said:


> Wtaf.


What?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

@D0nnivain looking to hear from you


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> So what can I do to change this?


Change what? Make it so he doesn't like vaginas anymore?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Seriously though, you won't be able to change him. He is in college enjoying NSA sex that you and others are giving him. Why would he want to be tied down in a committed relationship when he is getting sex for multiple sources while he chases other skirts? Some would say he is living the life. There may come a time he wants to settle down, but odds are it won't be you or any of his other **** buddies. He won't want a easy lay anymore. He will want a woman with self respect. I'm real sorry that you played around with being a FWB only to fall for your **** buddy. It is a tough lesson to learn. Sex and emotions can be difficult to keep separate.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Seriously though, you won't be able to change him. He is in college enjoying NSA sex that you and others are giving him. Why would he want to be tied down in a committed relationship when he is getting sex for multiple sources while he chases other skirts? Some would say he is living the life. There may come a time he wants to settle down, but odds are it won't be you or any of his other *** buddies. He won't want a easy lay anymore. He will want a woman with self respect. I'm real sorry that you played around with being a FWB only to fall for your *** buddy. It is a tough lesson to learn. Sex and emotions can be difficult to keep separate.


He's turning 27 in a month. It's not like he's 18
starting college. He doesn't want anyone who is a prude. It's clear from this example that he gets bored with those who are not into sex


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He's turning 27 in a month. It's not like he's 18
> starting college. He doesn't want anyone who is a prude. It's clear from this example that he gets bored with those who are not into sex


Tell yourself what ever you need to not feel slutty and used by him.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Tell yourself what ever you need to not feel slutty and used by him.


If that's the case then why would he reject those girls who don't want sex but meaningful relationships?


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> So what can I do to change this?



Nothing. You can't change others. Waiting for them to change is a waste of your time. 

The only thing you have control over is yourself. So again, why are you putting up with a guy who doesn't see you as a person, just a hole?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

I know he saw her yesterday as he went to uni. He saw her coming while she was looking in the other direction and when she looked at him, he also looked and said hi. They chat again and again he didn't mention me or anyone. Only what's hes currently doing at uni and telling her about how he got over his illness.

I dont understand. Why can't he tell her to go away? She had left but crawled her way back and he accepted her and won't tell her to **** off?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I know he saw her yesterday as he went to uni. He saw her coming while she was looking in the other direction and when she looked at him, he also looked and said hi. They chat again and again he didn't mention me or anyone. Only what's hes currently doing at uni and telling her about how he got over his illness.
> 
> I dont understand. Why can't he tell her to go away? She had left but crawled her way back and he accepted her and won't tell her to **** off?


Someday this will sink in. You gave up the prize too easy. You are nothing more than a warm hole for him. You can continue to **** him for the foreseeable future, but you will not get anything more from him. Don't ask why, you already know why.

She on the other hand, still has something he wants and hasn't been able to get, so he remains interested in her. Why would he tell her to go away? You are still ****ing him. His other **** buddy is still ****ing him AND he gets to chase after the other woman and every other woman he wants. He knows he has you hooked. You're easy, she's hard. You're his used up trash, she is the shiny new prize. You can test this yourself. Tell him you won't **** him anymore unless he tells her to get lost and never talk to her again. His answer will tell you exactly where you stand and how important you are to him. I suspect you will not like the answer.

Why do you have so little self respect? What has happened to make you feel you deserve to be someone's sex doll?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Someday this will sink in. You gave up the prize too easy. You are nothing more than a warm hole for him. You can continue to **** him for the foreseeable future, but you will not get anything more from him. Don't ask why, you already know why.
> 
> She on the other hand, still has something he wants and hasn't been able to get, so he remains interested in her. Why would he tell her to go away? You are still *ing him. His other **_ buddy is still _*ing him AND he gets to chase after the other woman and every other woman he wants. He knows he has you hooked. You're easy, she's hard. You're his used up trash, she is the shiny new prize. You can test this yourself. Tell him you won't ** him anymore unless he tells her to get lost and never talk to her again. His answer will tell you exactly where you stand and how important you are to him. I suspect you will not like the answer.
> 
> Why do you have so little self respect? What has happened to make you feel you deserve to be someone's sex doll?



I told you he doesn't want a relationship so why remain interested in a girl who was literally harassing him to get into a relationship? He already deleted her number because he understood she wont give him sex which is what he wanted.

I'm not a sex doll. I'm just someone who likes him and wants to be with him and feel through this I will get him eventually


----------



## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I know he saw her yesterday as he went to uni. He saw her coming while she was looking in the other direction and when she looked at him, he also looked and said hi. They chat again and again he didn't mention me or anyone. Only what's hes currently doing at uni and telling her about how he got over his illness.
> 
> I dont understand. Why can't he tell her to go away? She had left but crawled her way back and he accepted her and won't tell her to **** off?


Seriously now........are you for real?


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> I told you he doesn't want a relationship so why remain interested in a girl who was literally harassing him to get into a relationship? He already deleted her number because he understood she wont give him sex which is what he wanted.
> 
> I'm not a sex doll. I'm just someone who likes him and wants to be with him and feel through this I will get him eventually


Did he visit you over the weekend?


----------



## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> I told you he doesn't want a relationship so why remain interested in a girl who was literally harassing him to get into a relationship? He already deleted her number because he understood she wont give him sex which is what he wanted.
> 
> I'm not a sex doll. I'm just someone who likes him and wants to be with him and feel through this I will get him eventually


You are stuck because you act like everything he says is set in stone and can never change. Why are you so blind? Have you never heard of someone changing their mind? Can you see and hear his every thought?

You may not see yourself as a sex doll, but he does. It is everything he needs from you and you are willing to play right along. Hoping that some day he will see that you aren't just an easy girl that places no value on her body and intimacy. It is really, really sad. I'm sorry for you. Have you every been in a real relationship, or do you just give sex away with NSA?


----------



## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Why can't he tell her to go away? She had left but crawled her way back and he accepted her and won't tell her to **** off?


Because he doesn't want to. 



dokieok252 said:


> I'm not a sex doll. I'm just someone who likes him and wants to be with him and feel through this I will get him eventually


You are wrong. He only sees you as a sex doll. In his mind you are not relationship material. 

You are a PhD student. Do some research about the Madonna / w h 0 r e complex & how it influences his choices.


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

D0nnivain said:


> Because he doesn't want to.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


But why doesnt he do it?
He doesnt like her


I have looked up Madonna where complex but how can he be so awful when he has so many women friends?


----------



## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> But why doesnt he do it?
> He doesnt like her
> 
> 
> I have looked up Madonna where complex but how can he be so awful when he has so many women friends?


Did he visit you over the weekend?


----------



## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You are stuck because you act like everything he says is set in stone and can never change. Why are you so blind? Have you never heard of someone changing their mind? Can you see and hear his every thought?
> 
> You may not see yourself as a sex doll, but he does. It is everything he needs from you and you are willing to play right along. Hoping that some day he will see that you aren't just an easy girl that places no value on her body and intimacy. It is really, really sad. I'm sorry for you. Have you every been in a real relationship, or do you just give sex away with NSA?


You guys are so conservative. 
I doubt he will change his mind because if he wanted to, he would. He wouldn't be keeping himself away.

I have been in a real relationship and was with my most recent ex bf for 6 months and before I had a 2 year long relationship.
I dont see the point. If a guy does not want a relationship then why would he even like a girl who won't give ?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> Did he visit you over the weekend?


He did but didn't stay long


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> He did but didn't stay long


How was it?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> He did but didn't stay long


Long enough for him to orgasm I bet. That is ALL he wants and needs from you and you gladly give it.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> How was it?


Just like it has always been.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

dokieok252 said:


> If a guy does not want a relationship then why would he even like a girl who won't give ?


Simply, she was an itch and needed to be scratched


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> You guys are so conservative.
> I doubt he will change his mind because if he wanted to, he would. He wouldn't be keeping himself away.
> 
> I have been in a real relationship and was with my most recent ex bf for 6 months and before I had a 2 year long relationship.
> I dont see the point. * If a guy does not want a relationship then why would he even like a girl who won't give ?*


So in your eyes, if he isn't ****ing someone he can't like that someone. 



dokieok252 said:


> I have looked up Madonna where complex but *how can he be so awful when he has so many women friends?*


Because he is good at getting some stupid women to think he is a good guy that wants more than their vagina. You've seen it. He wanted some fresh ***** and she wouldn't give it for free, like some people we know, and it got him all twisted up like a big baby.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)




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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ah, now I see why this thread is 20 pages long 🤭


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Tested_by_stress said:


> View attachment 94731


Sad, isn't it? The sex doll thinks her owner is going to actually want to take her on a date.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Something to consider @dokieok252 according to Psychology Today, only 10-20% of FWB turn into monogamous LTRs and the biggest risk of FWB is developing unreciprocated feelings. The odds are stacked against you and he really isn't worth it.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> Simply, she was an itch and needed to be scratched


He couldn't get her


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> So in your eyes, if he isn't ****ing someone he can't like that someone.
> 
> 
> Because he is good at getting some stupid women to think he is a good guy that wants more than their vagina. You've seen it. He wanted some fresh *** and she wouldn't give it for free, like some people we know, and it got him all twisted up like a big baby.



Yeah so he could just tell her to **** off ?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> Yeah so he could just tell her to **** off ?


He could, but did he?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Sad, isn't it? The sex doll thinks her owner is going to actually want to take her on a date.





BigDaddyNY said:


> Something to consider @dokieok252 according to Psychology Today, only 10-20% of FWB turn into monogamous LTRs and the biggest risk of FWB is developing unreciprocated feelings. The odds are stacked against you and he really isn't worth it.



He did take me out on coffee 1st date and we kissed. 2nd date we met again for drinks at a bar and ended up going to my place.
That's how it started


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> He could, but did he?



No he didn't. That's what bothers me


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Just like it has always been.


I'm glad you were able to be there for him in that way. Why did he have to leave right away?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> No he didn't. That's what bothers me


Why does it bother you?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

dokieok252 said:


> He couldn't get her


Some itches takes scratches in the right spots 

And the more she resists the more he will like her, I'm the same way, I like a girl who plays a little hard to get. 
It's sexual tension. Sex on tap is just whatever, the conquest is exciting.



BigDaddyNY said:


> Sad, isn't it? The sex doll thinks her owner is going to actually want to take her on a date.


FWB wants to be promoted! 😅 
I did that once out of pity since she was GF-material, yet I never loved her for the entirety of our "relationship" lol

Oh well, at least gave her a chance right? Or used her?  Her fault anyway I was honest the whole time and never once told her I loved her 
But she gave me sex on tap and also swallowed and did everything else with me 🤗

So really, why the hate on the guy? He's just capitalising on what is made available to him lol


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

RandomDude said:


> Some itches takes scratches in the right spots
> 
> And the more she resists the more he will like her, I'm the same way, I like a girl who plays a little hard to get.
> It's sexual tension. Sex on tap is just whatever, the conquest is exciting.
> ...


I can't fault him for taking advantage of the situation. Why wouldn't he want NSA. He has more than one woman giving it up to him and he isn't hiding who he is. What is baffling is that there are women that value their sex so little.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> Some itches takes scratches in the right spots
> 
> And the more she resists the more he will like her, I'm the same way, I like a girl who plays a little hard to get.
> It's sexual tension. Sex on tap is just whatever, the conquest is exciting.
> ...



Have you even read my posts? He doesnt like her as he flat out told her


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> I'm glad you were able to be there for him in that way. Why did he have to leave right away?



He didnt leave right away. He cooked a meal, ate and then left.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

dokieok252 said:


> Have you even read my posts? He doesnt like her as he flat out told her


What he says and what he does are two different things. It's a game they are playing right now and you are the girl on the side.



dokieok252 said:


> Shut up. If you can't reply to my original question then leave. You have no right to call me names wtf us wrong with you?


Sorry you felt offended, but that is how he most likely sees you based on his behaviour. I am merely illustrating the fact 🤗 

As you wish though, I'll bow out, good luck!


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> What he says and what he does are two different things. It's a game they are playing right now and you are the girl on the side.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I dont get you. What game and then you insult me?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

dokieok252 said:


> I dont get you. What game and then you insult me?


I didn't mean to insult you, but the fact that you are being very defensive right now about it shows that it does disturb you that this is all you are to him.
You don't want to be the girl on the side, you want more. This is why people have been trying for 20 pages to get you to see that if you want more, you have to let him go.

As for the game they are playing it's simple push and pull. I see nothing out of the ordinary, the only issue is that you have an issue with it.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> No he didn't. That's what bothers me


Why does it bother you that he won't tell this other woman to **** off?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> I didn't mean to insult you, but the fact that you are being very defensive right now about it shows that it does disturb you that this is all you are to him.
> You don't want to be the girl on the side, you want more. This is why people have been trying for 20 pages to get you to see that if you want more, you have to let him go.
> 
> As for the game they are playing it's simple push and pull. I see nothing out of the ordinary, the only issue is that you have an issue with it.


How's it a game? The girl wants a relationship and she told him she liked him. I'm sure he knows that too or already knew hence he wasn't pursuing her because he doesn't want her but at the same time he didn't want her to go that's why he was keeping her around.

She's an option and she had left but came crawling back and he accepted her. But for some reason won't tell her to back off


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Why does it bother you that he won't tell this other woman to **** off?


This woman is the reason why hes not going on dates with me. I already wrote he took me out for drinks, coffee etc and we ended up getting intimate at my place but ever since she came in, all he does is call and comes to have sex.
No dates, nothing. Except for summer week vacation where we went to our colleagues house for a hot tub party. Even there he was getting close to all 5 girls in the tub and had hooked up with the colleague before.

And each time he would see her in red dress, he would keep gawking at her then call me and ask to wear red lingerie


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

dokieok252 said:


> How's it a game? The girl wants a relationship and she told him she liked him. I'm sure he knows that too or already knew hence he wasn't pursuing her because he doesn't want her but at the same time he didn't want her to go that's why he was keeping her around.
> 
> She's an option and she had left but came crawling back and he accepted her. But for some reason won't tell her to back off


Because she has given him an itch that he wants to scratch, it's really that simple!

I probably wouldn't tell her to back off either in his shoes besides he doesn't have to do much but wait considering he's already got... ahem... other options to keep him occupied until he gets his prize lol

Besides girls say they want relationships all the time... 🤭


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> Because she has given him an itch that he wants to scratch, it's really that simple!
> 
> I probably wouldn't tell her to back off either in his shoes besides he doesn't have to do much but wait considering he's already got... ahem... other options to keep him occupied until he gets his prize lol
> 
> Besides girls say they want relationships all the time... 🤭



Its been a year like this and he can't get his prize as he reject her saying he doesnt like her nor is looking for anything


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

dokieok252 said:


> This woman is the reason why hes not going on dates with me. I already wrote he took me out for drinks, coffee etc and we ended up getting intimate at my place but ever since she came in, all he does is call and comes to have sex.
> No dates, nothing. Except for summer week vacation where we went to our colleagues house for a hot tub party. Even there he was getting close to all 5 girls in the tub and had hooked up with the colleague before.
> 
> And each time he would see her in red dress, he would keep gawking at her then call me and ask to wear red lingerie


OMG, do you have no self respect at all? What are you doing chasing this guy? He has you dress up like his fantasy girl when you guys ****. You didn't actually go along with that did you? He treats you like a piece of crap. You aren't even FWB because friends treat each other better than he treats you.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

dokieok252 said:


> Its been a year like this


Not like he's missing out on anything 😅 

The reason I was quite... graphic in my terminology before is because I want you to see the RAW DEAL
If you were happy with the arrangement and being used like that sure, I'm happy being a sex toy to my FWBs. There's nothing wrong with that.

But you want MORE, that's why we are trying to help but you aren't listening. There's only really one way out of this, and it's the door.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

BigDaddyNY said:


> He treats you like a piece of crap. You aren't even FWB because friends treat each other better than he treats you.


@dokieok252 
See, my terminology was accurate 😅


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

BigDaddyNY said:


> OMG, do you have no self respect at all? What are you doing chasing this guy? He has you dress up like his fantasy girl when you guys ****. You didn't actually go along with that did you? He treats you like a piece of crap. You aren't even FWB because friends treat each other better than he treats you.



I didn't know that at first until I noticed her wearingrl red a lot and he would always check her 10x more out when she wore red. Seeing that I thought it was not a coincidence that he suddenly calls me and asks to wear red underneath .

I did call him out on this and he stopped


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> Not like he's missing out on anything 😅
> 
> The reason I was quite... graphic in my terminology before is because I want you to see the RAW DEAL
> If you were happy with the arrangement and being used like that sure, I'm happy being a sex toy to my FWBs. There's nothing wrong with that.
> ...


Your answer proves he gives 0 ****s about her


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

dokieok252 said:


> I didn't know that at first until I noticed her wearingrl red a lot and he would always check her 10x more out when she wore red. Seeing that I thought it was not a coincidence that he suddenly calls me and asks to wear red underneath .
> 
> I did call him out on this and he stopped


You have shown your cards by calling him out then the fact that he stopped it's obvious he knows you want more from him. 

But he uses you anyway 😅 and he uses you because you are allowing it. 

Are you able to see the picture? Or are you just refusing to?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

dokieok252 said:


> Your answer proves he gives 0 ****s about her


Curious how did you come to this conclusion.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

RandomDude said:


> Curious how did you come to this conclusion.



Because the line between anger and love is very thin and now he's not angry or passive aggressive with her after she patched things up. Which means he's moved on


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> He didnt leave right away. He cooked a meal, ate and then left.


He gave you what you wanted, yes?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

uwe.blab said:


> He gave you what you wanted, yes?


Yes thats what he comes for


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

dokieok252 said:


> Yes thats what he comes for


Then you are good now.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

@D0nnivain


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> Ah, now I see why this thread is 20 pages long 🤭


LoL, at this point, I'm not even trying to help, this is just sheer entertainment now!


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

dokieok252 said:


> I didn't know that at first until I noticed her wearingrl red a lot and he would always check her 10x more out when she wore red. Seeing that I thought it was not a coincidence that he suddenly calls me and asks to wear red underneath .
> 
> I did call him out on this and he stopped


Maybe his favorite color is red and now you have ruined that for him, hence why he stopped asking YOU for it. You've done it now.
Have you told him all the things that you have complained about on here?


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Maybe his favorite color is red and now you have ruined that for him, hence why he stopped asking YOU for it. You've done it now.
> Have you told him all the things that you have complained about on here?


His favourite colour is green not red


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Update

He got very ill and he met her when he felt better (when he went to uni) and they spoke. I dont understand why doesnt he tell her he doesn't want to talk to her. As usual she was nagging him over how he needs to take care and she texted him too wishing him well.
Thankfully he didn't reply to her
The next day also he just waved at her but no smile. So he doesn't like her?


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

dokieok252 said:


> Update
> 
> He got very ill and he met her when he felt better (when he went to uni) and they spoke. I dont understand why doesnt he tell her he doesn't want to talk to her. As usual she was nagging him over how he needs to take care and she texted him too wishing him well.
> Thankfully he didn't reply to her
> The next day also he just waved at her but no smile. So he doesn't like her?


Whatever you say, Batman.

When are you going to stop?

Please Santa, make it soon.


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Livvie said:


> Whatever you say, Batman.
> 
> When are you going to stop?
> 
> Please Santa, make it soon.


No constructive replies just nonsense till now from you


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

@D0nnivain still didn't reply


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## dokieok252 (1 mo ago)

Also hes gone on a vacation with another girl he knows and they have ZERO contact now 

Now what will you say?


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

dokieok252 said:


> Also hes gone on a vacation with another girl he knows and they have ZERO contact now
> 
> Now what will you say?


Glory, glory hallelujah, this thread is done is what I say!


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