# Who was your lawyer?



## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

This is a question I have now been asked 5 times in the last year. Once from a lady I worked with for years who was a devoted wife and mother and her now ex hubby ran off after 20 yrs. Once for a lady newly married and pregnant when her then ex hubby decided to run away from his responsibility, etc. etc.....

The latest? One of my best friends in the world called me to ask about this. His daughter's husband has a new girlfriend and is going through the cheater's script. I finished every sentence he started and was able to provide answers to questions he and his family have yet to figure out. Guess I'm good for something but they are all heart broken. My friend and his wife were better parents to this young man than his family ever was and he crapped on them. 

Not sure what the point of this post is but I'm getting tired of being asked this question.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

People love referrals. I would think that most people suddenly in the market for a divorce lawyer would want to get the name of someone that a friend has used. This is done all the time for everything, from home contractors to hairdressers. I myself get the benefits of this in my own business when my customers give out my name and number to their friends and relatives. 

But it must get old hearing it. I can relate to that. If you can get some of your lawyer's business cards to hand out that would be easier or you just give them the name. I think what you don't want is to become their counselor. Or maybe you don't want to be held responsible if things don't work out for them? :scratchhead:

I feel for you because there are certain questions I hate getting asked, especially the "What do you do for a living?" It seems that every person asks that question when you meet them and then they just can't leave it at that, at least not with what I do. I then get asked a million and one questions or get comments and stories and to be honest, when I'm off I don't WANT to talk about my work! :slap: So I try and avoid this question whenever I can. 

My answer for the lawyer is easy. I didn't have one. I did all the work myself. Grand total of $275 for my divorce. :smthumbup:


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

yup,people want to get the best possible person for the job so they ask those who appear to have gotten a decent deal.

I didn't have an attorney either.I like the look on people's faces when I tell them that.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I didn't have an attorney either.I like the look on people's faces when I tell them that.


Yeah..$375 and 3 months from filing to divorce. They are impressed and more than a little envious. :smthumbup:

I'm getting the impression that OP isn't upset about being asked who her lawyer is but that she's getting drawn into everyone else's problems and becoming a lawyer herself. That could get annoying fast. 

I did the same thing though. I asked a lot of my divorced friends for help and one in particular was very helpful about a number of things so it is appreciated. Google is also a great source of info too, if you can figure out what is info and what is just advertising.


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

I'm getting tired of being asked this question because I'm friends with all of these people and it is really disheartening to see all of these families breaking apart when all of them could have been saved. I'll admit, I grew up a bit sheltered from "divorce." Where I'm from it is a huge deal if that happens. 

I guess deep down I'm still ashamed of being divorced. And....That's on me.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Paradise said:


> I'm getting tired of being asked this question because I'm friends with all of these people and it is really disheartening to see all of these families breaking apart when all of them could have been saved. I'll admit, I grew up a bit sheltered from "divorce." Where I'm from it is a huge deal if that happens.
> 
> I guess deep down I'm still ashamed of being divorced. And....That's on me.


How you do you know they could have been saved? I don't mean to sound rude but that's not really your call to make and I hope you understand that.
Divorce shame,I think many of us have it,even those most happy to be free of our old lives.But it's our job to do our best to not project that onto anyone. Feel good that you're helping your friends when they ask for it.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

That's too bad because 50% of marriages tend to end in divorce. I have a group of friends from my high school and college years and we all got married abound the same time. Half of them ended in divorce and a few probably should've. 

That's life. Nothing to be ashamed of but then again, I'm in a part of the country where it's no big deal. It is what it is. 

If it wasn't for divorce I'd have no social life because 95% of the people I socialize with now are either divorced or headed for it. I'm in the majority. 

Shame? What's that? I would've been crazy to have stayed married!


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## lost hunter (Dec 13, 2012)

The attorney that my STBX hired to do the dissolution paperwork, is also a pastor. I really think that this is a conflict of interest. She sees no problem with it, because he is her friend's husband. I just don't like it, but if he can get it over, get it over!


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