# The wrath of a woman scorned



## raising5boyz

Well, some of you know my story, and I'm sure many of you don't (You can read my other thread if you want), but whatever the case, I would like you all to check out this link; Lying Cheating Bastard left 5 kids with NOTHING! HELP! - eBay (item 330289756649 end time Dec-02-08 22:15:24 PST) or go to ebay and type in item #330289756649. I'm almost feeling guilty for doing it, but it really made me feel better! Send an email to family and friends, and whoever else might get a kick out of it.


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## voivod

holy crap, that's intense!


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## Amplexor

Public flogging and the pillory have returned. YES! Good luck raising!!


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## Blanca

I dont think anyone i know would get a kick out of that. im so sorry for you. that is really hard. go to your church for help. they have programs to help you out with food, and other bills.


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## raising5boyz

Interesting responses.

I highly doubt this will affect my kids in any negative way.

My boys know what this has sone to there mother and our family. My boys are learning a real life hard knocks lesson of what no to do as a man, husband, and father.

As far as "What would Christ do?" He did overturn the tables in the temple. He forgives, but that doesn't mean there isn't justice.

I do not believe that this will jeopardize my relationship with Christ.


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## Blanca

raising5boyz said:


> As far as "What would Christ do?" He did overturn the tables in the temple. He forgives, but that doesn't mean there isn't justice.


For the sanctity of the temple and his God. Never for himself.


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## raising5boyz

I understand what you're saying, and in time I will "turn it over to him". It is too fresh and raw right now. These things take time to recover from. Perhaps if I could just afford to out gas in my vehicle, or pay my electric bill so it doesn't get shut off, I would be feeling less vengefull and more forgiving. I am in survival mode at this point. I have to bring in some money to be able to get through this. I have faith that everything will turn out ok, and probably better than before, but I also believe the Lord expects us to do all we can to help ourselves as well. We cannot just sit back and expect him to do it all.


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## raising5boyz

Thank you. Prayers are always welcome.


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## rogerisright

Your response doesn't demonstrate the unconditional love that you committed yourself to have for this man. What he does in rejecting or cheapening your marriage and your holy sacrament and commitment to both you and God does not give you free license to abandon your vow to love this man unconditionally...the way that you are loved by God and Jesus. What if they were to renege on their love for each and every one of us everytime they were spurned or denied or rejected by someone here walking among us? They don't (thank God) because that isn't their unconditional commitment to us or their promise of everlasting life to those of us who have accepted Jesus as their personal lord and savior. I fear unconditional love that comes with conditions ...his bad acts do not excuse your own and if I were you ...well I am not you and I will not judge you because I have never been in your position I will say that unconditional love and lifelong commitments are just that and when the going gets rough thats when a persons true character shows through ...maybe this is od's test of your faith ??


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## raising5boyz

WOW! This posting really brought out the religious side of people.

It's interesting that you think I should have any love for htis man. I absolutely WILL NOT love him unconditionally at this point. I continue to find out more and more about him that I did not know. If he were here asmitting his mistakes and begging for help and forgiveness, I would have to forgive him. Instead he is blaming our marriage ending on me and the fact that I didn't trust him. Saying all sorts of lies about me, when in reality he just couldn't keep his pecker faithful to just his wife. Want to know what I learned today? He's been paying upwards of $300 an hour for sex. He's done this multiple times with multiple women and then come home and "made love" to me. I now have to go get a full STD screening/blood work, because I don't know what he might have brought home to me. I hardly bought groceries to feed our 9 kids the whole month of October because money was so tight, yet he was spending hundreds of dollars a day for SEX with STRANGERS. God does not expect me to love him unconditonally. He expects me to forgive him someday, but not now, not immediatly. I truely feel sorry for my husband. I think he has a serious problem. But I can not force hom to want to fix it. I could of worked through just abpout anything with him, had he been willing to admit his mistakes and addictions and been willing to seek help. 

I am missing my husband terribly. But that was just a man I thought existed, not the pervert he really is. He is not exhibiting any desire to change. He is still emailing women daily wanting sex. And he can have all the women he wants. Just hope a duaghter of yours never gets mixed up with a charming, convincing, romantic, sex crazed maniac like him. 

You say your not judging, but isn't aht exaclty what your doing as you critisize me for not having unconditional love for a man who has ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it? Not only did he hurt me, but he uprooted 4 children from their home and took all financial support from another 5 children. God will not forgive him either. Not yet. He has to ask for forgiveness and show true remorse and a change of heart and behavior. Then God will forgive him. And by them at least soe of my deep, gashing wounds will of healed as well, and I will be able to forgive him also.


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## dcrim

hey, roger -- guess who broke the vows first?!? It wasn't R5b!! It was the idiot she married. 

I replied to another of your stupid posts in another thread. I caution everyone to ignore this neanderthal. 

I happen to think that you hit it on the head...god and jesus did abandon them both by making HIM cheat! So there!


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## draconis

mommy22 said:


> I understand where rogerisright is coming from biblically, but I do think it was a little bit like "adding insult to injury". Remember, this woman has been through complete devastation during the holiday season. She's worried financially and hurt beyone belief. While I want her to mend for the sake of herself and the children, she certainly has a right to grieve and be angry. This wasn't her fault. raising5boys, I'm still thinking about you. I hope each day brings more comfort and healing.
> 
> Also, roger, raising5boys is right, once her husband ( a self-proclaimed Christian) left the marriage--- ACTIVELY!!!---for another woman, the vows are broken. She isn't required to love him. I see you want to see the marriage intact. I hate divorce, too. But she has more than enough right to stop loving him as her husband. Christians are required to forgive and love with a Christlike love, but I think God will certainly allow her time to come to a point of forgiveness. As she said, her emotions are raw. Don't kick someone when they're down. The point of my initial post is I didn't want her to be so consumed by the hatred she's feeling right now that she put herself in a position of being unable to move forward and care for the children. Still on your side, raising5boys.
> 
> One last point for roger (made from a Christian standpoint) and then I'll shut my mouth on this one.
> roger, you talked about unconditional love. I want to remind you that although God loves us unconditionally, if we deny Christ in this lifetime, when it's time for us to enter heaven, He will look at us and say "I never knew you." We will have made our choice. He's given us the free will to do that. So yeah, she might be required to love, but she can certainly let go of him since he's the one who has made that choice!



:iagree: Well said

draconis


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## MarkTwain

raising5boyz-

Your hubby sounds despicable.

However, suppose we were to play the video tape of your marriage backwards *&^@% !!!

Then it would show you vengefully putting up that Ebay listing before he left you. 

You probably think I am "barking mad", but the point I am making is that, just as he always had it in him to cheat, you always had it in you to be vengeful. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

People never do anything out of the blue. It just appears that way. All the seeds of our darkest actions are already within us. It's only when they get watered that they germinate and sprout.

Take down that Ebay listing and be the adult you are.


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## raising5boyz

Okay, you win. The listing has been removed. Sure, I've always had it in my to be vengeful. Never did I expect to be hurt like this by a man I loved with all of my heart. If only you knew everything he has put me through in just these past two weeks. If he was man enought to end our marriage before he jumped into bed with strangers, I would of handled it better. If only he would of gevin me a fighting chance to keep my house/vehicles/business/life. He has made it so I will have nothing that I worked so hard for, for my kids. I am not a material person, but at least the comforts of life would be nice. The basics. Electricity, a car, food. I have so many people coming after me for money. The IRS, the WA State Dept of Revenue, Employment Security, L&I, numerous creditors. Why, because he chose to waste thousands of dollars on sex. Honestly, I was hoping more people would have bid on that item on Ebay, just to help me out financially. My power/phone/water will all be shut off Monday, all because he didn't deposit the money into the account so I could pay bills with it. Instead he cashed and spent the checks. So, yeah, I'm feeling vengefull, but more than that, i'm worried about the well being of my children.


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## draconis

raising5boyz said:


> Okay, you win. The listing has been removed. Sure, I've always had it in my to be vengeful. Never did I expect to be hurt like this by a man I loved with all of my heart. If only you knew everything he has put me through in just these past two weeks. If he was man enought to end our marriage before he jumped into bed with strangers, I would of handled it better. If only he would of gevin me a fighting chance to keep my house/vehicles/business/life. He has made it so I will have nothing that I worked so hard for, for my kids. I am not a material person, but at least the comforts of life would be nice. The basics. Electricity, a car, food. I have so many people coming after me for money. The IRS, the WA State Dept of Revenue, Employment Security, L&I, numerous creditors. Why, because he chose to waste thousands of dollars on sex. Honestly, I was hoping more people would have bid on that item on Ebay, just to help me out financially. My power/phone/water will all be shut off Monday, all because he didn't deposit the money into the account so I could pay bills with it. Instead he cashed and spent the checks. So, yeah, I'm feeling vengefull, but more than that, i'm worried about the well being of my children.


Talk to DHHS first thing in the morning.

draconis


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## raising5boyz

DSHS cannot do anything. They assume I will be getting child support, but nothing yet. There is one place in town that willhelp with electricity, but they can't get me an appointment until January. The church can help a little, but not enough to take care of all of it. Theres just simply too many bills, not enough money. I've never been in this position before, and it really, really sucks. I've always made sure the bills have been payed on time, until the last two months when he said he wasn;t getting money, or was lying about the amounts he was getting. Life seems so bleak at the moment. I've applied to every job I can find, and nothing. Theres really not many jobs openings in the area right now. I've always stayed home to take care of the kids, so I have very little job history. I am smart, and could do well at almost any job, but can't seem to get my foot in the door.


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## draconis

DHHS can give you food stamps, AFDC?, Rent assistance, Town Hall can give you fuel assistance WIC can give you wic checks if you have children under 5 for milk, eggs, peanut butter etc. Local food pantries can help with food as well as soup kitchens too.

DHHS, Town/City Hall, WIC, and if need be call the state Attorney General.

draconis


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## raising5boyz

Thank You, that gives me a few more places to try that I haven't thought of yet. I'll make some more calls first thing Monday morning. Well first thing after court Monday morning.


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## draconis

Best of luck to you.

draconis


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## rogerisright

My observations were made only in response to her comment about God not expecting her to keep her vows etc. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the very people and attitudes that have caused marriage to be cheapened and disposable are the very first to start calling names at anyone who still lives their life with the absolutes that made our culture the envy of the world. Words like integrity, and character have little meaning for people who preach a lifestyle of hedonistic relativism which literally threatens our society and our nation. Mouth breathers like Mr......believe that right and wrong is different for each person, depending on one's feelings, culture, or genetic makeup. for these people there are no absolutes; everything is relative to the way one feels. People of sound thought have always opposed relativism because it leads to the abuse of human dignity (slavery, political oppression, abortion, etc.). If everyone is allowed to do whatever they want, even if it is wrong, eventually the wrong will damage everyone. If you have ever seen a bully that no dares to oppose, you will understand what this means. The Pope warns us that a culture that does not respect the truth will become cruel. 7 The Church tells us strongly about the dangers of relativism today.8 We need to develop an ability to recognize relativism, and stand up for objective right and wrong in our own lives and in society around us. 
We need more truth, and as a culture and society, we are literally dying because of our abandonment of truth. As we progress and evolve as a people and a nation our focus should be to demonstrate those refinements not by acting like vikings who have just conquered a village ...doing whatever feels good and ignoring the absolute rights and wrongs that exist in the world today while we steal, rape and plunder those who are weaker than us. The gentleman who felt inclined to call me 
a neadrathal because I wouldn't jump on board the disposable marriage bandwagon and abandon my principles is actually the man whose ideas and ideals would take society backwards living like cavemen. I am sorry he feels that he has to make personal attacks nd disparaging remarks against anyone who disagrees with his vision of things. This is a marriage and divorce forum and the idea here is to gather differing viewpoints so people can be exposed to the ideas of others ... calling people names who offer ideas that you don't agree with in an attempt to silence their view points is a practice the very intolerant left has been practicing for far too long. as William Buckley once said "Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views." and to the man who cannot defend his position and who instead resorts to name calling "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence. because I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob. "


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## rogerisright

If what you are saying by "God will allow her to come to a point of forgiveness" then we would not disagree. There is no validity in a christian (especially a catholic) marriage to the notion that one spouses abandonment of their vows somehow magically releases the other from theirs ...not even close.


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## rogerisright

I am very familiar with what programs are available to you as a resident of Washington state. Starting immediately you can receive almost 1200 a month in food stamp money, TANF will give you cash both now and monthly for afew months until you get on your feet again. ASPIRE can provide you with housing support based upon your income but your end of things will usually run no more than 150-175 a month for a place large enough to hold your family. Add to that the free day care your children will have available usually at a Y day care facility which the rest of us would have to pay 800.00 a month for two kids to attend (no idea how far 5 would set us back) NO charge for you until things really improve. PLUS you are eligible for free college tuition from the government which will pay for your tuition and books etc. AND about 400-500 additional in cash grants each month (paid qrtly) for you to go back and get retrained or get your degree. Not to mention free mendical care for both you and all of your children ....Let's see ...Food, Rent, medical care, day care, cash, school, tuition, PLUS you are rid of that no good rotten husband ... unless he made alot of money you are now 10x better off in every single way with regards to having a healthy well fed family than you were with your husband. The benefits that washington state hands out for free are not free benefits ... they still cost money just not for people in your situation. If you were to total the actual cash value of all of these benefits up you would see that the total for a family of 5 +1 is well over $4,000.00. How can you possibly sit there feeling sorry for yourself throwing ashes over your head like you have been. I call it victim mentality and if anything you have said here is the truth than you have it and need to lose it quick. Get off your butt and get busy taking care of business ... with all of the terrible things happening to you every day financially somehow you manage to be online alot ... the last time I saw a posting like this around xmas time there was an arrest for fraud several weeks later. If thats what this whole production is you are far better off fleecing the govt than your fellow man ... it's dishonest and it's illegal your last posting telling us how no one can help you with all of the bills and bill collectors coming after you especially the tax people ...washington doesn't have any income tax and the IRS would take a financial statement from you then freeze your account for up to 3 years at which tme they would only look at a new financial statement from you ... your story just isn't working for me anymore ...good luck to you but don't bastardize our good will and our inherent desire to help others just so you don't have to work to buy your drugs


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## MarkTwain

raising5boyz said:


> Okay, you win. The listing has been removed. Sure, I've always had it in my to be vengeful.


But now you are proving that you have always had it in you to be big-hearted  I'm sure it will pay off.


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## rogerisright

DSHS doesn't make your award dependant on any child support expectation ....You don't even have a temporary order yet how could they possibly not help you out of any expectation of any child support. Besides thats not how it works anyway... they hook you up immediately then they go after your childsupport for you ... then if you are on the dole when that support comes rolling in then they simply keep it as pay back for all of the free stuff you are getting ... and if he stops paying then they dont cut you off ...it just piles up until they can collect... I am now convinced that either you are a total fraud or you havent lifted a finger to check out your options. What county are you in anyway? Most counties in the washington state system donot hear domestic relations matters at all on mondays. That calendar starts up first thing on Tuesday morning s thru friday ....so good luck at courty this morning


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## MarkTwain

rogerisright said:


> There is no validity in a christian (especially a catholic) marriage to the notion that one spouses abandonment of their vows somehow magically releases the other from theirs ...not even close.


Pardon me, but that is exactly what Jesus says in the bible. In fact, he cites adultery as the _only _fair reason for divorce.


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## Sprite

WOW all I can say is rogerisright....is not right. You talk about being christian and you sit here and say she is a liar????? People come here to these forums for advice and understanding which is something you OBVIOUSLY can not give. You bashed someone for "calling names"...what is it you think you are doing? 

Did you even read any of her other posts? or did you just come in here assuming you knew what the whole story was about. I would say you did the latter of the 2 because if you HAD read the whole story you would have known that she attempted to "fix" her marriage FIRST. But what is there really to fix when she is stuck with a man that doesn't want to try? Would you yourself continue on a marriage where YOUR spouse was unfaithful to you and then carry on like nothing is wrong? You make youself out to sound "holier than thou"..and if you are....good for you, I dont know you so I can not judge YOU...just your words. But if you honeslty believe you are better than anyone else....that kind of attitude will get you nowhere fast!!

I take offense for everyone in here when you say "It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the very people and attitudes that have caused marriage to be cheapened and disposable are the very first to start calling names at anyone who still lives their life with the absolutes that made our culture the envy of the world." Again I ask..have you actually even read any full threads? or just pieces? Most of the people that resond on a regular basis are not cheapening or disposing of marriage as easily as you think. The majority of these forums are geared towards saving a marriage and allowing others to give advice on how that can be done!

And I have a news flash for ya buddy.....our "culture" as you put it, is NOT the envy of the world! I dont know where you are living, but it doesnt sound like the same world I live in!

I am sorry to go off...but I am just being honest here and giving my true feelings. In my opinion your advice on where she could go for help was the only useful thing you said...but...the way you said it was not very nice. You should not assume she hasnt done anything to help her situation...maybe...just maybe she hasnt heard of these groups and organizations you have spoken of and did not know they were out there.

"your story just isn't working for me anymore ...good luck to you but don't bastardize our good will and our inherent desire to help others just so you don't have to work to buy your drugs" hmmmm, I wonder...how EXACTLY is this mentality actualy HELPFUL???? Obviously you do not have that "inherent desire to help others" nor do you have trust or faith in mankind!!!!!!!


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## missagain

Wow, you were angry. I understand. I fight these urges every day. I am on the road to finacial ruin myself. He also is a contractor.


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## voivod

raising5boyz said:


> Well, some of you know my story, and I'm sure many of you don't (You can read my other thread if you want), but whatever the case, I would like you all to check out this link; Lying Cheating Bastard left 5 kids with NOTHING! HELP! - eBay (item 330289756649 end time Dec-02-08 22:15:24 PST) or go to ebay and type in item #330289756649. I'm almost feeling guilty for doing it, but it really made me feel better! Send an email to family and friends, and whoever else might get a kick out of it.


just as an fyi:

Colo. man charged with libel over Craigslist posts - Yahoo! News


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## raising5boyz

Well, well, well......I missed all of rogerisright's comments yesterday. So I'll address them now.

You really have issues. You are extremely mean sprited and accusatory. I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT CURRENTLY, AND WILL NEVER DO DRUGS! 

So let's break down my budget so perhaps you can better undertstand my situation, and stop being so rude. 

Mortgage: $1750
Electricity: $150
Water: $30
Garbage: $30
Gas: ??? Prices are changing (yeah!) I drive my kids to and from school everyday as there isnot a bus that goes by my house.
Cell Phone: $100
Car insurance: $125
Health Insurance $34
TOTAL: $2128 with NO extras

I get $1200 a month child support from my 1st ex husband(left him because he was abusive to our children and myself) He has not paid yet for November or December, but DSHS counts it because I "should" be recieving it. Yes that is what they told me, and it's not worth arguing about because it takes months for them to resolve issues like that. They will not give me cash because the child suppot I already recieve is over the cash limit. I cannot get daycare approved for the same reason. I don not qualify for TANF. If you qualify for TANF, you can get medical, cash, daycare, schooling or traning, gas money, money for clothes for job searching, vouchers for diapers. But I do not qualify. I am paying for medical, because I do not qualify for the free medical. Thank goodness it is a low income program, and only costs $34 a month, greatky reduced from what others pay. Yes, I was approved for $525 in food stamps, and I am very greatful for that as well. At least the kids will be fed. 

It will cost me less to continue to pay the cell phone bill for the next couple of months thatn it would cost to cancle the contract. And I do need a phone for job searching, safety, ect.

Bills I will not be paying.

Car payments $400
Cable Home Phone Internet Fax $150
Life insurance $150
Total $700

None of this includes costs to keep the business open.

I've trimmed my expenses as much as I can. Event the basic bills will not paid until I get a job. I have not found any place that can help with my mortgage yet. There are places that can help with rent, or subsadized programs, but nothing for a home you own. If theres a place out there, I'll call them. I've been looking, just not finding. I'm talking to my mortagage company to see if there are any options there. My church was able to pay for my electric bill, and I have an appiontment in Jan for some more help with that.

I sold a few things over the weekend, and that covered my phone and water so they're not shut off. 

The taxes I was refering to are quarterly business taxes. I had money in the bank to pay them, but my husband took it our and spent it. So, yes, now I have daily calls from WA state Dept of Revenus, Employment Security, L&I, and the IRS. There is approx $15,000 dollars owed.

My home is larger than what I need now, but I have no equity in it. I will probably let them forclose on it. At least that gives me a couple of months if we can't work out payment arrangements.

And, yes, I do feel sorry for myself. This is a sucke spot to be in. And I didn't so anything to deserve it.

It is to late to apply for a grant for next quarter for school. I will see if there are any exceptions to that rule.

So there it is, I think that covers most things. 

Lets here it Rogerisright. I'm sure I said a lot that you can critisize.

And yes, we did have court Monday morning at the Superior Courthouse on Montesano. I can give you the case number and phone number if you really need to verify that I am honest. Court was about the restraining order keeping him away from my house. And it was upheld.

VOIVOID: Thanks for the article. Guess I'll keep the info to myself. I just hope he doesn't get married again. I don't want to see another women/family fo through this.


Rogerisright
By the way, I am keeping my wedding vows. I still love the man I thought he was. I haven't slept with anyone else. I am not the one who walked out and refused to try and fix any problems. But I will not put my life on hold while he does whatever it is that he is doing. The marriage is over, and the marriage should be over. He wanted it over. HE left. He cheated. He lied. He stole. He made this choice. 

By the way, I don't recall asking anyone on here for money. Thats not why I'm here. I'm here to get sebsible advice and support, which addresses another issue. Yes, I spend some time on the internet. I need some time for me. I need adult conversation, support, and advice. I am woking my butt off the rest of the time. This is my time.


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## Blanca

mommy22 said:


> roger, the scripture I'm referring to giving legal grounds for divorce can be found in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9. Both references are written in red as stated by Jesus himself.


OK i know this might be vain of me to point out, but being that im all hyped up on religious classes this semester I just couldnt resist pointing out that actually those words arent straight from Jesus. They arent even straight from Matthew. Scholars dont really know who wrote it. 

I know, random, irrelevant, but I couldnt resist.


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## raising5boyz

I have one child that should qualify for WIC. Thanks for the reminder. Theres so much to do. It's quite overwhelming.

And now that it's December, my kids are going crazy wanting to decorate for Christmas. They are so sweet and innocent. I'm dedicating tomorrow afternoon to decorating. I love Christmas time. It will be hard to do it without my husband, but I feel like I'm getting stronger everyday. 

I'm realiizing how much easier it is to raise 5 kids instead on 9. I miss the other 4, and I'm definantly concerned about their well being. But at the same time, theres half the laundry, dishes, toys, etc... 

I think I'm realizing more and more everyday the issues that I did know my husband had. Ya know, just little things that I easily ignored, but now that he's gone and not coming back, I can be relieved by not having to worry about those issues. And now theres no nagging voice in my head that must of been my intuition talling me that something wasn't right. I often had a nagging feeling that he wasn't neing honest, but I had to try to suppress it, because i had no "real" reason to feel that way. Now it allmakes sense, but at the time it kind of made me feel crazy and paranoid.

Life is such and interesting journey. It will be extremely interesting over the next few months.


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## Blanca

mommy22 said:


> It's debatable for some. Check a little more and you'll find just as many scholars and theologians who say otherwise. Research a little more and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not offended, but please don't take offense when I say I'm not convinced. I'm a fairly open-minded individual, but I won't compromise on this one.


oh, im not offended. Even if it was written by matthew then its still not straight from jesus. the thoughts had to shuffle through someone else's cognitions to get on paper. that's all i was trying to say.


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## Blanca

mommy22 said:


> My argument is that in using fallibilty of human error and transfer as justification to dismiss the validity of the origin, I could say the same for practically every recorded event in history--both in manuscript and audio/video.


Ya, totally agree. I wasnt debating the validity or truthfulness of it. Just the use of the phrase "straight from Jesus". Because its really not straight from jesus. its straight from matthew, or whomever wrote it. that's all.


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