# feel so sad...



## nodespair (Jun 4, 2011)

Hello everyone,
I just didn't know where else to go. I feel so sad, so empty, lonely. I just don't understand how my "husband" could've have walked away so easily. Today is not a good day. I am not sure how to stop feeling so down. I am so tired of feeling inadequate. I feel like I can never trust a man ever again. I hope I get over this soon.
Does anyone know where a resource where I may be able to find counseling help for low-income families. At the moment I only have a part-time job and no health insurance?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

As far as resources go, what about family? And what about your husband? Legally, he can't walk away from his obligations. Look into legal aid to persue your options as far as he's concerned. The local family law courthouse will likely have info on financial aid as well.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nodespair (Jun 4, 2011)

PBear, thank you for replying. I have gone to my family and friends. They are always open and willing to talk but I don't want them to see me sad so often because I know it worries them. Also, there are things I just can't say to them. I am too embarrassed, like how he asked me to continue to have sex with him even though we are going through the divorce process and I actually considered it. 
He will be giving me child support but he does not have health insurance either. I will check the local family courthouse, thanks for suggesting it. Ill check the state website they might have some info on low-cost counseling sessions.


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## mike82 (Oct 24, 2011)

i definity feel u. my wife left me 2 months ago, and its been hell. after 7 years of marriage and three small children, she threw me out like trash, like i never mattered. the feeling of rejection, and inadequacy is unbearable at times. i too dont know if i could ever trust a woman again. i feel like anybody is capable of anything after this. i wonder where is the woman i married, and who is this imposter. know you are not alone, i feel just like u do. hang in there and stay strong, people keep telling me one day u wont really care, but i sure as hell do now


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

oh boy, I needed to see that I am not alone in this today. My H left after almost 28 years of marriage. ANd the closer we get to really divorcing, the worse I am doing. Going to counseling, have lots of friends and family around, but they can't hold my hand or me all day, everyday. I wonder if there are women's centers around you that could help with counseling


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## nodespair (Jun 4, 2011)

Thank you mike82 and madaboutlove for replying. It helps to know I am not the only one who feels this way. I feel the same way Mike,he dumped me like trash, I also wonder where that wonderful man went. I don't think I have done so much wrong to him to turn him into such an a** he is the one who cheated! People tell me the same thing, I hope we get there soon.
madaboutlove I am sure there are some centers, I live in a big city so I need to get serious about looking. Thank you for the suggestion. We will get through this. 
I think we should remember we were our own person before we met them and we do not need them to complete us. ugh this feeling sucks!


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## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

nodespair said:


> Hello everyone,
> I just didn't know where else to go. I feel so sad, so empty, lonely. I just don't understand how my "husband" could've have walked away so easily. Today is not a good day. I am not sure how to stop feeling so down. I am so tired of feeling inadequate. I feel like I can never trust a man ever again. I hope I get over this soon.
> Does anyone know where a resource where I may be able to find counseling help for low-income families. At the moment I only have a part-time job and no health insurance?



Call 211 they will give you contact info for agencies in your area that may be able to help. 

Apply for food stamps, medicaid, cash assistance now...in FL I was able to do it online. Got approved for food stamps and medicaid with no problem....having trouble getting cash assistance since I have no transportation to get to local employment agency in order to qualify. Here in FL I would need to spend 30+hours a week at the county employment agency in order to receive $300 per month...every dollar I earned would get deducted from the $300....all well and good...but those of us with no transportation or access to public transportation get screwed. 

I am also utilizing legal aid...but it has been a slow process....he left on August 27th-ish and I am still waiting to have him served for temporary support orders...the kids and I were forced to flee our home and move in with my mom because he cut us off financially and refused to pay the electric bill(I have been a stay at home mom for 9+ years and can't find a job to save my life)


I tried Salvation Army for utility assistance and got turned away because I could not prove that he had abandoned us and all of the bills were in his name.

Start thinking of your plan B...back in August I thought for sure the state would have forced him into paying something by now...sure everything will be backdated to August...but I need to buy things like clothes for the kids now...I stopped paying my credit card bills....they are a bit peeved at me at the moment..but I honestly told them whatever cash I get goes to buying things or the kids that food stamps don't cover like socks, shampoo, etc.

My husband was abusive...withholding support is just another way to control me..and until he gets court ordered to do so he just gets to continue to abuse me in this way. I am getting therapy through the local non profit agency that runs the local domestic abuse shelter...they bill medicaid....but Ibelieve they do a sliding scale too. 


In my experience no one tells you where to find much more than a bag of groceries and a free cell phone.. I think if I had gone through the battered women's shelter and pressed charges I would have had more information/resources offered to me....instead of putting together everything here and there on my own.


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## hurtintexas (Nov 7, 2011)

Hang in there, you are not alone. I am so terribly sad, too, and have never felt so alone in my whole life. 

My husband announced 3 weeks ago that he is no longer in love with me and then moved out of our home last Friday. He is staying with a friend (a bachelor who divorced a couple of years ago) until he gets his own place. It sounds like divorce is in our future. My children and I are devastated, to say the least. He has always been a good man and I never ever thought he would do this to us.

Take care!


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

I'm with ya, sisters. My husband told me a little over 2 mths ago he didn't love me anymore and was leaving. He moved out and went to a friend's place (bachelor). Long story, after I did a 180 on him and told him to only contact me for visitation arrangements for our 8yo, he has now come home but is sleeping in the spare room.

We are both going to marriage counselling, as well as each attending individual counselling, but I have no idea what our future holds.

Its a terrible time.


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## hurtintexas (Nov 7, 2011)

brokenbythis said:


> I'm with ya, sisters. My husband told me a little over 2 mths ago he didn't love me anymore and was leaving. He moved out and went to a friend's place (bachelor). Long story, after I did a 180 on him and told him to only contact me for visitation arrangements for our 8yo, he has now come home but is sleeping in the spare room.
> 
> We are both going to marriage counselling, as well as each attending individual counselling, but I have no idea what our future holds.
> 
> Its a terrible time.


Yes, it is indeed a terrible time. I imagine it will feel even more terrible as the holidays approach . . . not looking forward to that at all.


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## nodespair (Jun 4, 2011)

ugh, the holidays. I am dreading that too just the thought of it all makes me feel physically ill.

Setmefree, thank you for your advice. I hope you get to serve your husband soon. Luckily my mom is helping me pay for my attroney so he will be served soon. I also have my daughter on public health insurance and I am so thankful that our government can provide that for my child (thank you tax payers!) i truly do need it. I have my degree and am working hard to find a full-time job.

Hurtinintexas I can def. relate I took thought my H was a good man/father, in all this time he has been gone (3 weeks) he has seen our daughter three times maybe and he called consistently for a week but now doesn't even bother. I will make sure that my H pays his part for child support, of course he doesn't want to. Why is it always like that? I really thought he wouldnt mind, but money changes everything. 

brokenbythis, I hope counseling works for your marriage. If not remember it is not the end of the world and there are many people out there feeling the pain you do. What keeps me going is my daughter and the fact that one day I will be liberated from this awful feeling.


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## nodespair (Jun 4, 2011)

Another bad day. Why does he have to be such a jerk? And why oh why does it hurt so bad..wish I could sleep all day.


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## madaboutlove (Aug 28, 2011)

I thought it might get a bit better after time went by, but each day seems to get worse, so long since anyone held me, touched me in a loving way. I am focused on getting through each day, going to work, being with family, taking care of the pets, watching my favorite tv shows. No choice, looking forward to a future with love


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## nodespair (Jun 4, 2011)

I'm so sorry madaboutlove. I feel the same way you do if that helps any. We will get through it sooner rather than later I hope for the both of us. I'm glad you are keeping busy, it helps most of the time for me although sometimes no matter what I do I don't stop thinking about my circumstances.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

My husband walked out on me too and in my case left me with nothing. It's only been a week and its so hard to get through each day. I cry and cry and for the last 2 days feel this deep deep sadness that will not go away. I have a very difficult time even doing anything mundane.


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

occ2195 said:


> My husband walked out on me too and in my case left me with nothing. It's only been a week and its so hard to get through each day. I cry and cry and for the last 2 days feel this deep deep sadness that will not go away. I have a very difficult time even doing anything mundane.


occ2195

I am so sorry for what you are going through sweetheart. I know it's tough.

Do you have someone to talk to? If you do, open your heart, let it go, share the pain. If not, then vent here - we're listening.

Take care hun


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

My H told me 5.5 weeks ago that he was not in love with me. He moved out 1.5 weeks ago. I have no idea where he is living at now. He does whatever he wants. My daughter and I are still in the family home but it is pretty lonely. He still comes by sometimes. It makes it hard to move on from all this. He also has a new gf and I haven't even been served D papers yet although H is so adamant that he wants a D...who knows anymore what is going on in his head


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## Anewlife (Sep 15, 2011)

I am 3 months out after she left for another man. I went back to school at night and joined a gym. I am 40, 6'2'" and weighed 250 lbs. I now weigh 211. I was lost like you. I recognized my faults. Got counseling. Gym work school..13 hour days. My friends let my dogs out. I come home to a picturless house that was once a home. I am focused on ME. I wont graduate for a year. I am taking this time for ME. When I come out in a year with a degree...a new body....a new career...more money....healed. I will be the perfect husband to a lucky woman. I still want to have kids. hang in there! It's tough...you can sit and think about it and feel sorry for yourself...or you can bring out the BEST in YOU! Good luck. It's not going to be easy...I am not fully healed yet....but you will NOTICE progress.


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