# Any Tips on Telling the Kids?



## notaname (Feb 4, 2011)

Does anyone have any tips they have learned on how to approach this topic with the kids? When is the best time and all that?

From what I have read, doing it as soon as possible is important. It is also important to first discuss as a couple what you are going to say and then speak to the kids with a united front.

Anyone want to share their experience?


----------



## mmomof3 (Apr 19, 2011)

My stbx and I sat down with our son who is old enough to understand and explained what would be happening from his point (who he would live with, new school, the whole bit) and we both explained it was not his fault, that we both loved him and would always be there for him. We explained that mom and dad would be a better mom and dad when we had our own space. That we needed our own houses to be able to take care of them (3 kids, 2 toddlers who where not part of the conversation). We asked if he had any questions. He was crushed. The look of understanding on his face was horrible. We tried to be as honest and matter of fact as possible. Over the next few days he had questions and tried to "fix" things. We stayed on message (we had both agreed not to talk badly of each other to the kids and what our explanation would be). We also explained how our situation was different from his friends who's parents also divorced (dad left and has never been heard from). Good luck, it's not an easy talk, it sure made me question if this was the right thing. It's hard to see your kids hurting.


----------



## notaname (Feb 4, 2011)

Thanks for sharing your experience. Our kids are all at very different stages (14, 7, 4) and I am considering telling the oldest separate from the younger two. 

I agree that watching them hurt is going to be the hardest part of this whole ordeal.


----------

