# Frequency and Types of Sex



## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Things have been going REALLY good lately. When I look back at where we were a year ago, it is night and day. Our marriage was sexless back then and now we pretty much have sex anytime we want. DW is totally opening up; she is buying lots of sexy clothes, lingerie, hosting “toy parties”, going out on dates more and just generally being more flirty/fun and spending a lot of adult time together alone. It is really great.

On to my question. It really seems that her drive is increasing but we don’t have actual intercourse but about twice a week. She will give me a BJ anytime I want (and is very enthusiastic to do so and ends up happening almost every day) but actual sex is nice too. We only have sex when she is really in the mood for it. It just seems strange that she would not want to have sex more often. When she gives me a BJ is it only for me, she does not want me to return the favor. That means she only gets her O a couple times a week but for me it is every day. I feel selfish even though she tells me she is getting enough. I also feel that if I made the whole process somehow more enjoyable for her she would want to get her O more often. 

Any suggestions out there?


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

I suggest Enjoying it!

Some women just don't need the O to enjoy it. My wife doesn't O all the time when we have sex. I've offered to continue, go manual, whatever to get her to climax and she usually doesn't go for it. I've talked to her about it and how it's impacting her drive, enjoyment etc. She tells me that she doesn't need it all the time to enjoy the intimacy.

If you've talked about it, offered and she's not concerned about it, I'd say enjoy the fact that she's enjoying pleasing you and still getting what she needs out of it.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Thanks Dryden. I am definitely enjoying it. I just can't help but think in the back of my mind that I could be doing something better that would make her want to do it for her more than do it for me. I guess we are just wired differently.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

lets see, your gettig a hummer everyday and intercourse twice a week

I HATE YOU!!!!!

seriously, just enjoy it, it sounds like she enjoys pleasuring you and if she has told you she doesnt want it in return so be it. and did i mention:

I HATE YOU


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Okey: I knew I would get that response from some of you  Sorry. 

I guess I am just feeling a little guilty about what she is giving and what I am not giving back.

I'll shut up now


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## Choose2love (Jul 28, 2009)

Now, from a woman's perspective:

dont fix what aint broken!!


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

hubby said:


> Okey: I knew I would get that response from some of you  Sorry.
> 
> I guess I am just feeling a little guilty about what she is giving and what I am not giving back.
> 
> I'll shut up now


This is heartening to see this thread! 

The communication between you and your woman is the treasure in this, and that is what will let you to enjoy her feminity, and her to enjoy your masculinity.

Okay, this is most important, do NOT feel guilty whatsoever, and for whatever happens do NOT NOT NOT communicate in any way shape or form that you feel you are getting something that you do not deserve!!!

Actually, to experiment to light her fire even more, once or twice show the attitude that you deserve nothing less and maybe even expect more that what she is doing, and then see what she does to rise to your expectation.

In your mind, you may feel you are being a "jerk" or a "bad boy". In her mind, this is telling her that you are finding her irrestibly attractive and can't get enough of her. I cannot emphasize enough how important this fact is. 

The finesse is just this, to the man and woman each is giving the other the impression that they are absolutely worth the attention and sexual desire of the other. So understand how telling your woman you are feeling guilty would be the opposite of this, and maybe backfire to make your woman think she is not worthwhile to give you her sexual attention. This is often hard to explain, but easy to see in action. 

Again, this is nothing I would advice to just anyone, but to a couple like you and your woman that is at this point, it is this give and take that will continue to allow each other the security and motivation to reveal even more and more of their sexual desires and appetites.

Continue on!


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Thanks BBW. I do get greedy sometimes, still trying to get her to swollow, or at least finish and spit. I do feel like a d**k head when I ask. I think she will come around eventually. 

Things are going incredibly awesome. It totally feels like we are kids again!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

hubby said:


> Thanks BBW. I do get greedy sometimes, still trying to get her to swollow, or at least finish and spit. I do feel like a d**k head when I ask. I think she will come around eventually.


"ask"? :scratchhead:



> Things are going incredibly awesome. It totally feels like we are kids again!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Funny. I hope you are not implying I just "man up" and cum in her mouth without letting her know first. That would not be a good move. Now had she not expressed that she would never do it I would entertain the idea.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

hubby said:


> Funny. I hope you are not implying I just "man up" and cum in her mouth without letting her know first. That would not be a good move. Now had she not expressed that she would never do it I would entertain the idea.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That kind of surprise I understand is not welcome, especially in the literal sense. 

But this is the point that is worthy to make.

That is absolutely an example for a healthy and good goal for you, in this case for her to swallow, as you expand your sexual appetites with your woman. 

For her to say "never" in something like this, is simply to understand the nature of a woman.

Are you willing to show her, that you are indeed the man not only to expect this, but this and even more, so great is the desire that she causes inside you? 

Simply imagine this, and where this imagination may take you.

Understand that even the man she was saying "never" to at that time in the past, may not the be the man tomorrow that you may become in her eyes. 

This truth is subtle, but very real in the sexual relations between a man and a woman. 

What if, and this is just thinking out loud, that the scenario would present itself as just this:

In some heat of passion, you grab her hair and aggresively steer her to giving you oral. And in this passion you are very clearly aroused and loving it, and she is extremely watching and studying you and becoming very aroused and aggresive herself, although maybe she is still hesitating to completely unleash herself, especially if this is the first time she is seeing this side of you.

And at this conclusion, you are making no apologies, and saying in a very firm and dominant tone that she is making you lose control, and she is going to finish the job properly. And if you are the man to do it, and letting HER KNOW without a doubt how good and how much a man she has made you feel, can you guess what her response would be?

Would it be that she is mad at you for disobeying her? Hardly.

You will be surprised the very first time this happens, that instead of her being mad, and even what she may have said in the past, that she is going to FEEL very feminine and sexual because you have demonstrated in actions, not words, how masculine she makes you feel. 

This is the healthy structure of sexual attraction!

And you will see even outside the bedroom, her RESPECT and sexual attraction for you is increased, and her self confidence and sexual esteem in herself is skyrocketed. Take this to the bank.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

BBW, that all makes complete sense to me. Just a little difficult to make the transition. Attitudes and behaviors in the bedroom are definitely changing and progressing, daily. So I do not see this type of scenario as unrealistic. 

I still have not completely lost control with her, as it were. I have told her many times that she drives me crazy and that if she keeps doing the things she is doing she is going to push me over the edge and I am going to loose control. She is not stopping


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## Dryden (Jan 5, 2010)

hubby said:


> Thanks Dryden. I am definitely enjoying it. I just can't help but think in the back of my mind that I could be doing something better that would make her want to do it for her more than do it for me. I guess we are just wired differently.


I get that, believe me I do! And the guilt part too. I also feel bad when I'm getting off and my wife only gets off every few times. Although lately she's let me know she can't even get herself off! So I know it's nothing I'm doing/not doing! 

I've learned to accept what she's happy with and I make the offer to provide either oral or manual before or after to get her there. Sometimes she goes for it and others she doesn't.


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## java (Jan 15, 2009)

From a woman's point of view...I wish my husband had your sex drive....I want him more than a couple of times a week....but life gets in the way and he isn't a quickie kind of guy....so I stay sexually frustrated a lot.  

Enjoy what you got and maybe some day she may be asking something of you that only she will benefit from. ~


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

It is often also helpful to get into the habit of performing sexual acts, even for a little while at a time, without the expectation always of orgasm.

This is often much mental pressure, for example on a woman, but if the habit is that it is also regular to give her oral just to make her relax, then it breaks that cycle of verbal "asking" and the letdown of rejection. 

Simply every now and then start "doing it", even just soft kisses and massages to her womanly places without making her feel any pressure "to perform" is a good place to be.

Also the habit of giving her full body massages can often lead to physically turning her on often as well. Do this often and the times that it doesn't, it is not the emotional letdown to her man.


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## CaliRN (Jan 2, 2010)

enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!! lol


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