# What's going on with me? Any other ladies experienced this before?



## _Josephine_ (Sep 7, 2013)

I love my husband. We are married for only 1.5yrs. We have the time and possibility to have sex whenever we wish and I think also, that we should be going at it like rabbits, considering the short time of our marriage. Yet, we don't. At first that really bothered me and I tried to change it but now I feel even bored by the thought of sex. At the beginning of our relationship I couldn't get enough of him and his best tool  but nowadays I think almost every day, it's time to give him a blowjob, just because, and then I don't do it and rather think about if his penis is clean enough or did he just go to pee recently and all such stupid unimportant things. Even though I love him, there's no spice and adventure. I don't feel like I need to have my hands on him at all time. Even when he signals me to be in the mood for fun I often just ignore it, because I am simply bored. How can that be??? Especially after it was me myself who wanted for months just more quantity concerning sex?!? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

First thing I would do is go to the doctor, get a full physical to see if there is any physical reason for it. My desire will change with my hormones.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

If you're worried about what's on his penis,give him a sensual wipe down then use flavored oil/lube on him. I personally love using unrefined coconut oil when I give DH his nightly back massage.It's great for the skin,tastes yummy and smells divine. Try it

If you're bored it's time to shake things up and change the routine. Experimentation is a must when boredom strikes. 

Try sending sext messages throughout the day. If reading a text from your DH detailing what he wants to do to you later followed by a "see how hard you make me" pic doesn't get your juices flowing then nothing will


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> If you're worried about what's on his penis,give him a sensual wipe down then use flavored oil/lube on him. I personally love using unrefined coconut oil when I give DH his nightly back massage.It's great for the skin,tastes yummy and smells divine. Try it


My fiance likes to use extra virgin olive oil...



> If you're bored it's time to shake things up and change the routine. Experimentation is a must when boredom strikes.
> 
> Try sending sext messages throughout the day. If reading a text from your DH detailing what he wants to do to you later followed by a "see how hard you make me" pic doesn't get your juices flowing then nothing will


It sounds like maybe he isn't doing anything to get her excited.


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## _Josephine_ (Sep 7, 2013)

I am 30. I just recently had an exam and all is okay. I do get in the mood, so it is not the case that my libido is off or anything like that. Just I am actually too bored or do not care enough to get frisky with him. (But I also don't think of other men.) He is in good shape and he is not dirty. When he is I do tell him.  It is true that he does not do much to get my juices flowing. He will occasionally try to finger me and he will play with my breasts but that is it and it is never very sensual, just like a teenager would do it (that is what I feel like at least). 
He never really tasted like urine! Just I started to think about it and I don't know why. Of course men don't wipe their penis after peeing, so there is always something left. Actually I think I just tried to find another excuse for myself. I honestly don't know what is going on. But also I don't want to be the one who spices things up and gives massages and blowjobs and starts to initiate more. I don't want to be the one who always fixes everything. I already have that position in the other areas of the relationship. He will not start to change. I gave that hope up. Should I leave him because I am bored? No, I think that would be stupid to do, after all I love him. Even if I feel trapped in boredom haha.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

_Josephine_ said:


> I am 30. I just recently had an exam and all is okay. I do get in the mood, so it is not the case that my libido is off or anything like that. Just I am actually too bored or do not care enough to get frisky with him. (But I also don't think of other men.) He is in good shape and he is not dirty. When he is I do tell him.  *It is true that he does not do much to get my juices flowing. He will occasionally try to finger me and he will play with my breasts but that is it and it is never very sensual, just like a teenager would do it (that is what I feel like at least). *
> He never really tasted like urine! Just I started to think about it and I don't know why. Of course men don't wipe their penis after peeing, so there is always something left. Actually I think I just tried to find another excuse for myself. I honestly don't know what is going on. But also I don't want to be the one who spices things up and gives massages and blowjobs and starts to initiate more. I don't want to be the one who always fixes everything. I already have that position in the other areas of the relationship. He will not start to change. I gave that hope up. Should I leave him because I am bored? No, I think that would be stupid to do, after all I love him. Even if I feel trapped in boredom haha.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So the gist of it is that he's not good in bed. He doesn't give you what you want. You could also flip this around. You wish he would focus more on these areas to get you excited. However, you never told him what gets you going so he doesn't know and therefore sticks with what he assumes you want.

Advise if it's the former or the latter. Either way, it's a communication issue.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

IndyTMI said:


> My fiance likes to use extra virgin olive oil...
> 
> 
> 
> It sounds like maybe he isn't doing anything to get her excited.


I haven't used coconut oil, but I need to. We need a natural oil where the taste is not a turnoff.


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## krebszaoyad (Apr 9, 2014)

If you're bored it's time to shake things up and change the routine.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

treyvion said:


> I haven't used coconut oil, but I need to. We need a natural oil where the taste is not a turnoff.


it's soooo yummy

Make sure it's unrefined though! The refined stuff has no taste and no scent. The taste and scent is really the best part of using coconut oil imo


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Initiate in some unexpected place.

There have to be ways to communicate your sexual needs.

How insecure is your husband?


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## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

Talk!!!!!


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MrAvg said:


> You are falling into the marriage rut, as mentioned you and he need to mix things up. Try some new positions, make sure both of you are emotionally and physically satisfied after love making.
> 
> Set date time where all you plan for a hour or more is to have sex. Shower first, get out the toys make sure there are no distractions. You mention giving a bj does her return the favors? Most men stay pretty clean, even ladies can have a little urine left, it will not kill you.
> 
> The total lack of desire for men you mentioned would seems to point to hormonal changes.


Do a 60 second washoff of your crotch, balls and backside so she won't have any obscene scents. Use hot soap and water, and rince till no soap is left on your shaft or pubes.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> it's soooo yummy
> 
> Make sure it's unrefined though! The refined stuff has no taste and no scent. The taste and scent is really the best part of using coconut oil imo


Where do we get this unrefined coconut oil? I just can't imagine it's in the aisle of every grocery store and/or pharmacy.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Where do we get this unrefined coconut oil? I just can't imagine it's in the aisle of every grocery store and/or pharmacy.


It's usually in the organic aisle at the grocery store. I've found it at Wegmans,Martins,and the Vitamin Shoppe on the east coast. You can probably google it and get some opinions on best brand,best price,etc.


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