# Weekends alone



## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

When your spouse is gone for the weekend, do you do anything different? Do you enjoy your weekends alone or just look forward to when the spouse comes back? 
I have always enjoyed them, of course more lately than earlier in the marriage. Early on I saw it as a time to pretend I was somewhat of a bachelor and have fun with it. Now these days I just feel like I get to be myself and live my life the way I want to over that weekend and pretend I am not married. This coming weekend will be one of those, no wife around, no ring on the finger. Just mental relaxation from all of that.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

I usually do one of a couple things: (1) I give myself a chance to meet up with a friend I haven't seen in a while, or (2) I just enjoy the lack of responsibility in simple ways -- wandering around the city a bit, staying up a little later, eating something my wife doesn't like, watching a movie my wife wouldn't want to watch, etc. I enjoy it although it gets old when it's more than a few days.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I think that having the odd "day off" from the pressures of marriage is good for us all. It does get harder to do when you have children living at home as someone has to look after them so we take it in turns to have some "time out".

I tend to go over and see my father (he is a widower in his late 70's) and will have a meal / a few drinks / say the night before bringing him down to us for a family weekend and I encourage my wife to get over and see her family when she can.

Whoever is not on "time out" gets the pleasure of looking after the kids / home whilst the other is away and it works for us.

People go on about couples spending at least so many hours alone together but I think you need to balance family time, couples time and time doing your own thing to be happy.

N.B. I disagree with the OP taking off his ring when his wife is away, mine never comes off my finger it is a symbol of my love / commitment and I would not feel right without it.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

In my previous marriage I lived for weekends by myself.Couldn't get enough of them.

This time is different.I'm ok when he has to be somewhere for a day or two for work but I prefer when he's home.I miss him terribly when he's gone.My routine doesn't really change other than doing the errand things alone instead of having him with me.Although I do catch up on my manicure/pedicure while watching movies stuff when he isn't home.

ETA,I do not remove my ring and he doesn't remove his.Why do that? Why pretend you're single?


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

As for the ring thing; I've never worn it all the time. Various things like working in the yard, shower, cooking, etc. that I take it off for. But since I am looking forward to being single again, a lot more often now, not to make it look like I am single to others, but for myself as removing it feels like freedom.


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

gbrad said:


> As for the ring thing; I've never worn it all the time. Various things like working in the yard, shower, cooking, etc. that I take it off for. *But since I am looking forward to being single again*, *a lot more often now*, not to make it look like I am single to others, but for myself as removing it feels like freedom.


Sounds like you would prefer to have more than just a weekend to yourself.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Where does she go on these weekends?


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## newwife07 (Jan 11, 2011)

I love an occasional (maybe 2-3x a year) weekend alone. Nothing longer than that. I hate my hubby's business trips that last a week (3x a year). I also love to take 3-day trips to Disney World by myself (since hubby is soooo not into it and I LOVE Disney ) maybe twice a year.

When I'm alone I feel like I can just think about myself and the food I want to eat. I tend to go shopping a little to indulge myself and also take long baths and catch up with friends.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

IrishGirlVA said:


> Sounds like you would prefer to have more than just a weekend to yourself.


Right about that
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

I just read a couple of your posts on the S&D forum. 

I know you don't want to hurt your wife by telling her you are unhappy with her but it doesn't matter if you say the words or not. If you want out of the marriage that means you are unhappy and if you are unhappy she will automatically assume it is because of her anyway. Even if you tell her it is not her but you, she will still think it's her. 

And who says you have to go from marriage right to divorce? What about a separation? 

Women want and need to be with someone who appreciates them and we want and need that person to be happy with us. If my significant other told me today that he has been unhappy for a long time I'd be both upset and piss*d off. Piss*d off because he should have bailed a long time and not strung me along when I could have had that time to heal and move on to meet someone else that would be happy with me. Know what I mean? 

Perhaps when your wife comes home after this weekend you can have that heart to heart with her. It's time to come clean. 

Good luck. Oh, and remember, you can fantasize about being single but please do not act out being single. If you know what I mean!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

gbrad said:


> When your spouse is gone for the weekend, do you do anything different? Do you enjoy your weekends alone or just look forward to when the spouse comes back?
> I have always enjoyed them, of course more lately than earlier in the marriage. Early on I saw it as a time to pretend I was somewhat of a bachelor and have fun with it. Now these days I just feel like I get to be myself and live my life the way I want to over that weekend and pretend I am not married. This coming weekend will be one of those, no wife around, no ring on the finger. Just mental relaxation from all of that.


I dress up disguise. Rent a car. Drive to a nearby town and act single.



Yup. Normal stuff. 

Then I post on ... TAM. Oh yeah.

Riders On A Storm


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

IrishGirlVA said:


> I just read a couple of your posts on the S&D forum.
> 
> I know you don't want to hurt your wife by telling her you are unhappy with her but it doesn't matter if you say the words or not. If you want out of the marriage that means you are unhappy and if you are unhappy she will automatically assume it is because of her anyway. Even if you tell her it is not her but you, she will still think it's her.
> 
> ...


I'm not going to tell her that I have been unhappy for a long time in this marriage, because yah that would mean she would think it was her. I don't want her to think she is the reason. And it is my goal to make sure she doesn't.


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## Confusedhubby2013 (Oct 10, 2013)

I have a very busy schedule. Work 50-60 hours a week, on pager duty every 2nd week. My wife works shifts, the weekend she works I'm not on page so I can look after the little one, the weekend she's off I'm carrying a pager so I never feel like I get days to myself. 

Once a year my wife makes a pilgrimage back to her hometown to send time with the family. I stay home and take a week off and just game+sleep+eat. I turn off my cell, I only answer calls from my wife or parents.

Perfect decompression week


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Confusedhubby2013 said:


> I have a very busy schedule. Work 50-60 hours a week, on pager duty every 2nd week. My wife works shifts, the weekend she works I'm not on page so I can look after the little one, the weekend she's off I'm carrying a pager so I never feel like I get days to myself.
> 
> Once a year my wife makes a pilgrimage back to her hometown to send time with the family. I stay home and take a week off and just game+sleep+eat. I turn off my cell, I only answer calls from my wife or parents.
> 
> Perfect decompression week


Man, I could so use that right now. I work 50-60 hour weeks too (and lately sometimes more), my wife works normal hours plus has school two evenings a week. Weekends are a shuffle between me getting work done and her getting her schoolwork done, squeezing in family activities in between. Haven't had a true "chill" day in months. Never really get to see friends other than a few other parents in the neighborhood. I stay up after she goes to bed partly to get time for myself, but I'm usually at least half working on something while I do (like now, should probably get back to it  )


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## garykmjp (Oct 11, 2013)

I think you need to balance family time, couples time and time doing your own thing to be happy.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

So the reality is that I sincerely value most in my life the time I can have with my wife.

I have worked some insane hours during long periods of our marriage of 37 years.

When my wife and daughter are out shopping or taking the day I am either working or doing my thing, by lifting weights or some other activiies that I do on my own.

I get plenty of work trips with my colleagues which often involves wining and dining and getting my fill of companionship outside my marriage. I also interact on various internet forums. Probably way too much.

My wife typically once a year visits her mom for a week or two. Typically during that time my hands are very full taking care of things at home and working.

I do not do a whole lot of seeking out time without my wife. I tend to gravitate in the other direction.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Definetly enjoying the weekend. Went and hung out with a friend for a little while last night. Watched some football this morning and had a few drinks. Enjoying the great weather in a quiet house. Love it.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

We're quite social as a couple. When he was away recently, I went wild ......loud music, organizing the kitchen cupboards and clearing-out the spare room clutter. I lit candles in the evening, cooked delicious tuna bakes for dinner (which he won't eat haha) and watched home renovation shows. Crazy times!

I dig having him around.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

My wife has only been gone without me a few times in our marriage. I hate it. I hate being here without her. 

When I travel for work, I'm usually so busy that I don't have time to think about it except for the going to bed alone. She told me how much she hated it until the situation was reversed and I totally understand what she means now.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Man, wife was sick today and I was doing stuff around the house or with the toddler pretty much non-stop most of the day, like I felt like every single movement I made had to be toward getting some chore or other done in order to keep up. This after a 60+ hour workweek. At least we made it to my friend's housewarming/baby shower party in the afternoon - a couple hours to chill, in between running after the toddler. Tomorrow it's probably going to be half a day watching the toddler while my wife does her schoolwork, then half a day of me working from home while my wife watches the toddler. But I'll probably take the toddler to the zoo or something, which is usually pretty fun tbh


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

gbrad said:


> When your spouse is gone for the weekend, do you do anything different? Do you enjoy your weekends alone or just look forward to when the spouse comes back?
> I have always enjoyed them, of course more lately than earlier in the marriage. Early on I saw it as a time to pretend I was somewhat of a bachelor and have fun with it. Now these days I just feel like I get to be myself and live my life the way I want to over that weekend and pretend I am not married. This coming weekend will be one of those, no wife around, no ring on the finger. Just mental relaxation from all of that.


I have kids, so now wife just means Dad/Kids all day long doing fun stuff!! I do take alot of trips by myself most wouldn't call them trips more like exercises in sleep deprivation and extended driving.:lol:

It's not uncommon for me to drive 8hrs see a musical, comedian, band, or site then either stay the night or drive 7-8 hours right back home.

I enjoy my alone time, but usually feel pretty guilty about it. There is so much I like to see and taking the whole family is not only cost prohibitive they don't like to do these crazy 48hr trips I do anyway. They like real vacations  which we normally take 3 year of so.

This week I drove 9hrs and saw the Dalai Lama, panel of peers, and lecture for 4 hours, then ate and drove 4 hours back towards home stayed in a $49/night hotel then drove the other 5 hours home the next morning. 

I love doing that stuff 

My favorite is vacations with just the wife and me though. We just never get much time to truly break away someone always has to be with the kiddos. We get date nights, but not to many weekends away.

To the OP enjoy your time by yourself I love my alone time!!


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