# Should I stay or should I go now



## Crozier (Sep 6, 2012)

Hi,

I'm a 31 year old guy, I've been married for 5 years. My wift is from Hong Kong and is 8 years older than me. The marriage has never been easy, she is the type of person who has no patience, a quick temper, and always has to be right.

There have been countless occassions over the past 5 years when, for reasons I can barely understand, she has gotten so angry with me that she has left the house and gone walking up a busy road (sometimes at night!) by herself. This is dangerous and I have always gone after her and after considerable persuasion I have convinced her to come back.

There was one occassion when she left and I did not go after her because I wanted to end it. I told her this. We were apart for a week and then I received a suicide e-mail. Obviously I was devastated, so I found her and convinced her to come home.

A year ago we went to Hong Kong and brought her daughter over to live with us (15 years old). My wife has not been able to find employment since we got married (except a very part time job) so she wouldn't be able to suppport herself fully if I left. 

I think I need to leave though. This relationship is killing me. She has no respect for me or anything I do and it shows in how she talks to me (other people including my family have noted this and some don't contact us anymore because of this). The smallest mistake is greeted by a reaction which would make you think I ran over her dog in my car instead of something tiny. The only way she will ever be happy is if I completely change myself to life purely to serve her....I don't want this. I am who I am and most people say that I've actually given her so much already.

We have not slept in the same room for 9 months now, she has given me back her wedding ring and engagement ring (which I suspect she expected to plead with her to move back in and give her back her rings but I have given up trying...I don't see any hope of anything changing). I know she wants to gain citizenship and she is in the process of getting it but her application depends on being married to me. I have told her I am willing to wait until that comes through...but there is no way to know how long this will be or if she even gets it.

I want to leave the house (which is in my name and I pay the full mortgage) and return to life with my parents and start putting my life back together. Obviously I can't ask my wife to leave the house she has nowhere else to go...

Can anybody help me with some advice here. Please 

PS I forgot to say that if I do leave I will continue to pay all the bills and send what money I can to her.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Your wife needs therapy 

It's hard to believe that she has been unable to get some kind of work in the last 8 years. If you told me the last 5 years, I could see that.

I too thinks it may be time to move on

What you should consider is selling the house and giving her half the proceeds to live on. She can do what she wants with it but make it known that once the money (and whatever court ordered alimony there is) runs out, that's it. You are enabling her by providing for her all the time. She needs to stand on her own two feet


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Your wife needs therapy...start there.








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## grenville (Sep 21, 2011)

Run for the hills, she sounds like a total wacko!


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

Crozier said:


> Hi,
> 
> 
> There was one occassion when she left and I did not go after her because I wanted to end it. I told her this. We were apart for a week and then I received a suicide e-mail. Obviously I was devastated, so I found her and convinced her to come home.
> ...


DUDE DON'T WALK....RUN!! Seriously....my ex pulled this emotional blackmail crap every time I caught her in another freaking EA or PA. One time I got so tired that I went to another room, locked the door as she pounded on it yelling that she was going to stab herself....guess what?!?!? she didn't but even if she did that was on her NOT me.


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