# going through divorce have a few questioins



## tony8404 (Sep 16, 2009)

Hi,

Need some advice with first divorce. 

married 14 years 2 children. She filed for divorce and I just picked up the papers.

All she wants is the kids and child support nothing else at all. it is very basic. 

She agreed to me that I can see the kids whenever I want to see them and I have this in a text message even thought the papers state the basic custody visitation schedule. when I talked to her yesterday she said that is just to get this done I can see them when ever I want. She is not looking to screw me she just does not love me anymore. 

We are both going as "Pro see" no lawyers. She just got a lawyer for the paperwork. 

I make only 1800 a month and I think she will get 400 a month for child support. does that sound about right? I am in Illinois and the basic for 2 kids is 28%. 

Since I do not want to sell my house since I pay 1040 a month to my dad for what I owe him. I was thinking about getting a second job after the divorce and child support go through. Also, if need be I was thinking to rent as well for about 450 a month will that be trouble if I rent or get a second job?

She is going to help me with food since she gets money from the state. she will be living with her mother with the kids and I have my own house in my dads name as well as my car is in his name as well. so she cannot get them. she is unemployed now but is getting a job. She gets like 300 a month so we can split that. 

I cannot afford a lawyer and hate to go in blind on this but even free consultation was no help. All I heard was yeah I charge 1500. 

so I am here now.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

I don't think you have a lot of risk here since you both are more or less broke


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## tony8404 (Sep 16, 2009)

another question... does anyone know if i need to chance my filing status for taxes now or wait till year end. child support has not been done yet. I am in Illinois and not sure what is what.

But with 1800 monthly income and 2 kids at 28% by Illinois law i think i will pay 400 a month. Still have to get wife off health insurance but have to wait till divorce is done is what work tells me since i missed open enrollment.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

IRS goes by your status at year end. Wait til divorced and change to Single 1 or 2 no real reason to change yet for federal


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Change your filing status now. Also, you need to have in the agreement who gets to claim the kids. If it's not in the agreement, then the parent with custody gets them. Personally I would make her sign and pre-date enough Forms 8332 to release her claim of exemption before signing the divorce. In my experience (which is extensive, I'm a partner in a CPA firm) custodial parents are only rarely willing to sign the release even if they agreed to do so...so get it pre-signed. In many cases the custodial parent will attempt to file first so that they get the deductions, especially if they make a little money and are eligible for the earned income tax credit.

Regarding visitation, if it's not in the agreement, it doesn't exist. After you sign, she will change her tune. If you want to see the kids on a regular basis, make sure it's in the agreement because if it's not then she will likely not let you.


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## tony8404 (Sep 16, 2009)

the papers state she gets to claim the kids for federal tax return.

Do i just write on the page that we agree I can see the kids anytime i want to see them or do the papers have to get redone?

Also, before she left months ago she changed our cable bill to make it cheaper and she agreed to a two you lock on the account which i cannot change anything other wise pay fees. i cannot cancel it either without paying a lot of fees... since she has the Comcast account and it has her first name my last name on it is she responsible for it or do i get stuck with it. 

There is a Comcast bill that was not paid in June for 101.00 she claims she just paid something i have to verify when at home though.


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

Aren't you going for shared custody? You need to get a proper separation agreement in place so you can see your children and have a say in how they are educated, raised, health care issues that may arise...

I'm Canadian, so I don't know the US rules but here, you must be living separate or at least agree on a separation date to confirm your filing status. I had to send documentation to CRA (our IRS) indicating our legal separation date to confirm my change in filing status.

She also needs to get a job. I hope you aren't paying spousal support in addition to child support. Your agreement should make some kind of provision for this, and for what duration (e.g. 5 years so she can get educated if necessary). In my case we exchange our tax filings each year indicating our incomes to figure out how much child support gets paid to whom, if any.


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

tony8404 said:


> the papers state she gets to claim the kids for federal tax return.
> 
> Do i just write on the page that we agree I can see the kids anytime i want to see them or do the papers have to get redone?
> 
> ...


No, you have to agree to a schedule. Each of you can do what you like if you get along after D, but make sure you get a schedule in writing you can refer to if things go sideways. My ex and I are very civil to each other but you'd be surprised how things can go when a new BF or spouse comes on the scene. Here are some example schedules:

http://singleparents.about.com/od/coparenting/tp/6-Sample-Joint-Custody-Schedules.htm

Cancel the account. Split any fees between you as common debt.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Firm up the visitation. If she really means liberal visitation. then include something like "in addition to the above visitation schedule, additional visitation with the non-custodial parent will be liberally granted with 24 hour notice to the custodial parent"

Also, check to see that you both have legal custody, while she is primary physical custody. Retaining joint legal custody gives you a say in medical procedures and schools.

Also remember, if you get a second job, your income has gone up, and the child support obligation will similarly go up. Most states wait to modify support for about two years-or a substantial change of condition. Taking a new job could constitute a substantial change in your financial condition. Just be aware.


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## helolover (Aug 24, 2012)

Do you really want to just sign your kids over to her? I understand your financial situation, but this is one area I highly recommend you at least confer with an attorney about. It is a no-joke very hard to change thing once you agree and sign.

Read and heed.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

If you can see them at any time, go for 50/50 custody and you'll pay minimal support once she gets a job. I agree - get it in writing. And if you go for 50/50 custody, then you can also agree that each of you claims one child on your taxes.


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