# Grade skipping



## AandM

School would like to skip our K student son at least one grade (parent-teacher-gifted teacher) conference last night suggested 2nd grade, at the initial meeting it was 1st grade, so it keeps getting worst.) and we have already told them no. Our problem with this is that, in middle school, when all the hormone bombs go off, he will still be a little boy.

The program that we authorized after testing him allows him to be pulled out into 2nd grade for reading, writing and math; and into the 2nd grade gifted class. Socially, he does very well with the older kids (he is a bit of stage-hog, I have no idea where he gets it from). He is not a shy kid, and is pretty athletic. However, we are concerned about socio-sexual dynamics in the future should we allow him to be advanced.

What has been the long-term results of advancing your son a grade or so?

Has anyone here had a son that allowed their son to skip a year or three, and how did it go, through all the stages?

On the other hand, if he graduates early we can forcibly emancipate his unruly ass and kick him out early.

Decisions, decisions.


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## NextTimeAround

If he's bright and unruly then maybe he does need to be more challenged at school.

Moving up one year I can't imagine it being that different socially except for activities that have hard b-day deadlines. Like when getting one's driver's licence. When one can buy and consume alcohol and cigarettes. 

I think it's terrible that kids are kept in school longer. Imagine 18 yer old who wants to date a sophomore. He's an adult and she's ....well you know where I'm going with this.


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## Hiner112

If he's that much more gifted than them, his peers will probably pick up on that and it will take some deft social engineering to navigate the cliquish middle school being "different". Being a year younger isn't going to make it any better or worse, I don't think.


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## AandM

NextTimeAround said:


> If he's bright and unruly then maybe he does need to be more challenged at school.
> 
> Moving up one year I can't imagine it being that different socially except for activities that have hard b-day deadlines. Like when getting one's driver's licence. When one can buy and consume alcohol and cigarettes.
> 
> I think it's terrible that kids are kept in school longer. Imagine 18 yer old who wants to date a sophomore. He's an adult and she's ....well you know where I'm going with this.


I kinda do. It's the middle school hump we're worried about. For a lot of boys (with a late birthday), they are 13, every other boy has hit puberty and the testosterone is accelerating them into manhood, and those boys are madly jockeying for place. Meanwhile, there are a few boys who develop later, who get left behind. They still want to play Adventure or War, while the other boys are playing sports that will get them status, both socially and with girls (which the boys not hitting puberty won't "get").

Bullying and social pariah-hood can be detrimental academically.

Even the educators who recommend him skipping mention home-schooling through middle school.

My wife and I were both recommended to skip (and her, Adderrall), but our parents refused. We did Ok.


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## Cynthia

You definitely don't want to homeschool or are you considering it? If you have questions about it, you can tag me. I homeschooled my 3 children for about 20 years.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk


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## AandM

Cynthia said:


> You definitely don't want to homeschool or are you considering it? If you have questions about it, you can tag me. I homeschooled my 3 children for about 20 years.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk


If at all, it would be through the middle-school years (6-7-8). In this situation, though, it would be where the student is starting age 10 in 6th.

Keep in mind we have an adequate program (pull-out into higher grades/gifted) that keeps him socially based with his age group. It is the public school system that keeps pressuring us to bump him up.

If we DID advance him a grade or two, we would only home-school if we DID allow him to go from K to 2, in middle school. Come 9th grade, we would likely send him back to public school.

I'm asking if anyone has skipped their son a grade or three. and how did it go.


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## uhtred

Its a very tricky question. Skipping a grade in some ways grants an extra year of life- it lets someone advance their life, their career etc by a year. OTOH it can be academically and socially stressful. 

Not advancing can lead to boredom. Advancing can lead to difficulties dealing with other students.

My inclination would be to advance a student who was academically ready and whos social skills were fairly good, but probably not one whos social skills were terrible. 

OTOH, I was not advanced, but had a miserably time in high school anyway. It would have been great to have escaped that a year earlier, so wish I had advanced.


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## notmyjamie

My friend skipped her daughter ahead by sending her to private kindergarten early. The middle school years were tough. Her daughter, who is immature for her age anyway, seemed way behind the other girls. In an effort to keep up and be cool she started using lies and manipulation to try to keep up. As you can imagine her friends did not appreciate it and she lost all her friends at one point.


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## NextTimeAround

NextTimeAround said:


> If he's bright and unruly then maybe he does need to be more challenged at school.
> 
> Moving up one year I can't imagine it being that different socially except for activities that have hard b-day deadlines. Like when getting one's driver's licence. When one can buy and consume alcohol and cigarettes.
> 
> I think it's terrible that kids are kept in school longer. Imagine 18 yer old who wants to date a sophomore. He's an adult and she's ....well you know where I'm going with this.


I meant 19 year old....


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## 20yr

I would be wary of skipping him. In my area, many boys are being held back by their parents voluntarily if they have Spring or Summer birthdays. My son who was born in May was youngest boy in his class all the way through Grade 8, even though he was in his correct grade and not skipped. He is also on the shorter side and he struggled socially in 5th-6th grade. It was hard to keep up in sports and he had not yet developed an interest in girls. Things evened out by 8th grade but I can't imagine how he would have struggled if we had ever skipped him.

What about doing some enrichment programs outside of school?


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## Hiner112

I could read before my fifth birthday and was terminally bored when I went to kindergarten a year early.

My parents decided to hold me back to the class I should have been with because of my "social development". Turns out I am just an introvert and the way I interact wasn't going to change. 

As a further joke on them, I looked 12 when I got my driver's license and was only 5 foot 5 and 112 pounds my senior year of high school so not advancing me didn't really help at all.

School sucked until college so getting through it a year faster would have been nice. 

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk


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## phillybeffandswiss

Moved my son up when he was acting unruly because he was bored. He was doing basic algebra when he was 8. So, we moved him up and he was fine.

Edit.

Sorry forgot to add the stages.

Middle school was fine.
High school was fine.
He moved out when he was a 18 and is employed while going to community college.
My sister was fine graduated at 16 and has a Masters Degree.


I was fine, but moved out and became unruly.


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## Andy1001

.


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## Cynthia

AandM said:


> If at all, it would be through the middle-school years (6-7-8). In this situation, though, it would be where the student is starting age 10 in 6th.
> 
> Keep in mind we have an adequate program (pull-out into higher grades/gifted) that keeps him socially based with his age group. It is the public school system that keeps pressuring us to bump him up.
> 
> If we DID advance him a grade or two, we would only home-school if we DID allow him to go from K to 2, in middle school. Come 9th grade, we would likely send him back to public school.
> 
> I'm asking if anyone has skipped their son a grade or three. and how did it go.


The reason I'm asking about homeschooling is that is gives so much flexibility. The child can go at his own pace to either advance or slow down academically, but it doesn't impact their social life negatively. There are large homeschool communities where kids are active and involved socially. It's quite different from public school in that kids are not separated into grades, which makes it easier for them to connect on their interests and maturity level. Homeschooling would solve the problem of advancing him into a grade where he was much less mature than his peers. He wouldn't be help back academically or socially.


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## AandM

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Moved my son up when he was acting unruly because he was bored. He was doing basic algebra when he was 8. So, we moved him up and he was fine.
> 
> Edit.
> 
> Sorry forgot to add the stages.
> 
> Middle school was fine.
> High school was fine.
> He moved out when he was a 18 and is employed while going to community college.
> My sister was fine graduated at 16 and has a Masters Degree.
> 
> 
> I was fine, but moved out and became unruly.


Thank you for this. Today, my dream is for him to graduate HS at 15, emancipate his ass ASAP, and kick him out.

It's been one of those days:|.


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## NextTimeAround

Hiner112 said:


> I could read before my fifth birthday and was terminally bored when I went to kindergarten a year early.
> 
> My parents decided to hold me back to the class I should have been with because of my "social development". Turns out I am just an introvert and the way I interact wasn't going to change.
> 
> As a further joke on them, I looked 12 when I got my driver's license and was only 5 foot 5 and 112 pounds my senior year of high school so not advancing me didn't really help at all.
> 
> School sucked until college so getting through it a year faster would have been nice.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk


I know, it's tough being Doogie Howser!:wink2:


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## NextTimeAround

AandM said:


> Thank you for this. Today, my dream is for him to graduate HS at 15, emancipate his ass ASAP, and kick him out.
> 
> It's been one of those days:|.


My father went to college at the age of 15. But that was in the 40s. 

The other possibility would be to shop around for a private school. some private schools exist just to make parents happy. And then there are some private schools that seriously turbo charge learning and knowledge acquisition. Would you be interested in sending him to boarding school?


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## Marduk

I skipped a grade. 

The result wasn’t good. Not only was I bored, but I was also ostracized on top of it, and smaller than everybody else. 

I wouldn’t do it if it were my kid. I’d find out of school challenges for them.


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## AandM

NextTimeAround said:


> My father went to college at the age of 15. But that was in the 40s.
> 
> The other possibility would be to shop around for a private school. some private schools exist just to make parents happy. And then there are some private schools that seriously turbo charge learning and knowledge acquisition. Would you be interested in sending him to boarding school?


The not-smiley-face was a joke, as was emancipation. He and his little brother have been the Avatars of Chaos and Anarchy today.

My nephews went to private schools. They did well, good scholarships to good schools. Still, expensive, and I am not convinced that they wouldn't have done as well in the public school districts that they were in.


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## AandM

NextTimeAround said:


> My father went to college at the age of 15. But that was in the 40s.
> 
> The other possibility would be to shop around for a private school. some private schools exist just to make parents happy. And then there are some private schools that seriously turbo charge learning and knowledge acquisition. Would you be interested in sending him to boarding school?


Boarding school is a no. We have an excellent military school nearby; I remember track and cross-country meets where we boys had to circle the wagons around our female athletes, because of the sheer level of wolf-eyed thirst.


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## AandM

Marduk said:


> I skipped a grade.
> 
> The result wasn’t good. Not only was I bored, but I was also ostracized on top of it, and smaller than everybody else.
> 
> I wouldn’t do it if it were my kid. I’d find out of school challenges for them.


Yeah, the physical thing is our worry. Being a little boy when everyone else is hitting puberty is brutal. The rules have changed, everything has become social jockeying, but the little one is _physically_ hobbled from really understanding why.


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## Marduk

AandM said:


> Yeah, the physical thing is our worry. Being a little boy when everyone else is hitting puberty is brutal. The rules have changed, everything has become social jockeying, but the little one is _physically_ hobbled from really understanding why.


I was bullied hard. 

My solution was to become a bully to my bullies. 

Neither solution was positive.


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## AandM

Marduk said:


> I skipped a grade.
> 
> The result wasn’t good. Not only was I bored, but I was also ostracized on top of it, and smaller than everybody else.
> 
> I wouldn’t do it if it were my kid. I’d find out of school challenges for them.


That's our thing with him. We often travel locally, with history and problem-solving opportunities on the trips; camping, putting extra responsibility on him to pick a location to camp, help set up camp, firewood, etc.

We worry about the physical development thing. People often don't realize how social misery can affect academic performance.

Still, every time we meet with the school, they push grade advancement, above and beyond what they are doing.

The academic pull-outs for reading and math, in addition to gifted class, are unique to the school. I suspect it would be easier and cheaper for them to jerk him up a grade or two.


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## Marduk

AandM said:


> That's our thing with him. We often travel locally, with history and problem-solving opportunities on the trips; camping, putting extra responsibility on him to pick a location to camp, help set up camp, firewood, etc.
> 
> We worry about the physical development thing. People often don't realize how social misery can affect academic performance.
> 
> Still, every time we meet with the school, they push grade advancement, above and beyond what they are doing.
> 
> The academic pull-outs for reading and math, in addition to gifted class, are unique to the school. I suspect it would be easier and cheaper for them to jerk him up a grade or two.


Do you have a university or college nearby?

Explore opportunities to get your child actively engaged in academia as an after school thing. 

Is your child acting out in class?


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## 2&out

No. Let him be the smart kid who has confidence and helps others. I resisted the skip grades pressure twice - now at 24 he makes 145k Midwest $ and is on upper mngmt fast track. IMHO the emotional/maturity health is much more important. Lots of smart kids/people in the world. The ones that handle it are the happiest/most successful.


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## kag123

Personally... no, I wouldn't move my kid.

However - do you feel the current school is adequately meeting his needs? The pressure they are putting on you makes me feel like they are not able to handle this situation. 

If their gifted program is not enough for him, I would look into any other opportunities nearby for him. There are schools where I live for the exceptionally gifted. Students must test into them, and scholarships and need-based financial aid is offered. (There is still tuition involved though, which can be a change from free public school.) 

I know he's only in K, but how does HE seem to feel about school right now? Is he having problems socially due to his giftedness? Is he bored out of his mind? 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## AandM

Marduk said:


> Do you have a university or college nearby?
> 
> Explore opportunities to get your child actively engaged in academia as an after school thing.
> 
> Is your child acting out in class?


Act out? Not really, but he is in Kindergarten. That's the thing; based on testing at the beginning of the year, the school wanted to bump him into first. We declined, and worked with the school so that he stays with his class, but gets pulled out every day for reading, spelling and math with a second-grade class. Twice a week, he gets pulled out for inclusion in the 2nd-grade gifted class. 2nd is the earliest that gifted starts at. He is doing well, and is socially equal with the older kids. Apparently, he is pretty popular.

Last Friday, we had an assessment meeting with his teacher, admin and advisors, and now they were pushing for skipping to second, instead of first. Again, we opined that, should we advance him, he would do well until middle-school, when the hormone bombs went off on the older students, and most of them became anti-social little ****s.

Yes, we have numerous colleges and universities nearby. A family friend is dean of one school at a local SEC-U, and my sister is an adjunct at another school. That isn't an issue. Again, he's _6_. My problem is that this fight has already started, and keeps going. Also, we're unsure that we are making the right decision.


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## Hiner112

NextTimeAround said:


> I know, it's tough being Doogie Howser!:wink2:


Looking younger than my age sucked a lot in middle and high school but it is nice to overhear someone ask my 8th grader if I am her older brother or her dad.

I'm still short so it didn't come up all roses but there have been compensations. 

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## Marduk

AandM said:


> Act out? Not really, but he is in Kindergarten. That's the thing; based on testing at the beginning of the year, the school wanted to bump him into first. We declined, and worked with the school so that he stays with his class, but gets pulled out every day for reading, spelling and math with a second-grade class. Twice a week, he gets pulled out for inclusion in the 2nd-grade gifted class. 2nd is the earliest that gifted starts at. He is doing well, and is socially equal with the older kids. Apparently, he is pretty popular.
> 
> Last Friday, we had an assessment meeting with his teacher, admin and advisors, and now they were pushing for skipping to second, instead of first. Again, we opined that, should we advance him, he would do well until middle-school, when the hormone bombs went off on the older students, and most of them became anti-social little ****s.
> 
> Yes, we have numerous colleges and universities nearby. A family friend is dean of one school at a local SEC-U, and my sister is an adjunct at another school. That isn't an issue. Again, he's _6_. My problem is that this fight has already started, and keeps going. Also, we're unsure that we are making the right decision.


My advice would be a firm no and a request to stop bringing it up. He’s in kindergarten. It’s more about socialization at that stage than academics. 

That’s wild.


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## NJ2

My brother and I both skipped one grade and were in enrichment classes for middle school. It was many years ago when it was a little more common so we had a handful of other kids who also skipped that went through all the grades with us till high school. I think that was helpful socially as we never felt like we were younger than everyone else.

It is very unusual to skip kids in our area these days and there are very limited enrichment classes. My youngest daughter was gifted and I opted out of putting her in the enrichment class as it seemed to have mostly kids that were excelling in school but socially awkward. We discussed it and decided she could enrich herself. She had many friends, excelled in school and sports. By the end of high school she developed an eating disorder which I think was a product of her pushing herself too hard. It was used as a coping mechanism to deal with all the demands of high school- socially, academically and athletically. It can be overwhelming for anyone at that age. She recovered and is working on a research based Masters Program now.

If I was to do it over again I would have been more mindful of her internal struggles and emotions. I know she tried to talk about things with me but I always tried to solve the problem rather than just listen to her and let her feel validated. I was busy working, looking after 3 kids blah blah blah. I think gifted children and adults can be more sensitive and internalize their struggles which can lead to mental health issues.

My advice- perhaps skip him 1 grade, get him in enrichment classes where available- if they are not only for bright awkward kids, make sure he is well rounded with other interests- art, sports, music whatever is his thing as it will give him alternate peer groups and identities - a life saver in school, and most importantly listen to him and listen to him often. Try and hear what he is saying and isnt saying. Put any ego aside and let him determine his own path as he gets old enough. Even if its not academic, even if its not what you would pick.

Good luck. Parenting and childhood is filled with joy and heartache for everyone no matter their IQ


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## Cletus

AandM said:


> School would like to skip our K student son at least one grade (parent-teacher-gifted teacher) conference last night suggested 2nd grade, at the initial meeting it was 1st grade, so it keeps getting worst.) and we have already told them no. Our problem with this is that, in middle school, when all the hormone bombs go off, he will still be a little boy.


That was my parent's position as well. It was better to keep me with my age peers than it was to keep me with my intellectual peers.

I did not suffer any long-term issues as far as I know. You may be of a different opinion


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## Cynthia

Is he a young kindergartener, as in is his birthday is in the summer and he is young for his grade or is his birthday shortly after the cutoff, so he's in the older group for his grade? If he is in the older group for is grade, I don't think it would have any negative impact on him to move him up a grade, but if he just barely made the cutoff, that would make him even younger compared to the other kids in his grade.


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## hilariouslaughter

As someone who has experience in child development and public education, I can tell you that social maturity is a BIG consideration. For boys especially, skipping grades at a young age is more often than not problematic.


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## phillybeffandswiss

AandM said:


> Thank you for this. Today, my dream is for him to graduate HS at 15, emancipate his ass ASAP, and kick him out.
> 
> It's been one of those days:|.


If he is that smart and is motivated get him out. Let me add one more thing, my son earned one B 6th through 9th grade. All As until High School. Even then he graduated 3.6 or higher with the College prep and AP classes including calculus. 

Found out later he never did his math Calculus and Trigonometry homework and aced all of the quizzes and tests. So, his gpa would have been higher if he didn’t slack on his homework.

All the issues parents have with hormones and mine slacked on homework. I’ll take that any day of the week.


Edit:
My friend’s son skipped a grade as well. Our sons went to school together. He is about to Graduate this year from Dartmouth and earned a scholarship.

You know your child. Talk with your wife, the teachers and go with your gut.


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## pastasauce79

What does your gut tell you?

You are the one that knows your child the best. 

My oldest child is in the cluster gifted program at his school. Kids in this school district can't skip grades. Some days he's bored to death, some days he's excited about new things he's learning. He's in 5th grade so he's involved in groups and clubs and also extracurricular activities like music and sports. 

Socially he does fine. He's one of the oldest in his class (fall birthday) and that has helped his social life. He's a popular kid. He's got jobs at school and his teachers love him. He's playing basketball with middle schoolers right now which is giving him a little taste of middle school kids' interactions. He's moving up in his baseball league so that'll give him more chances of interacting with older kids.

I wouldn't let my kid skip a grade. I know intellectually he's smart but emotionally, he's a little immature, he's got no patience. I try to keep him busy, but it's starting to get difficult since he wants to play video games all the time! Which is part of his social development as well. 

Our district offers a few options for middle School and we have applied for all of them. We'll see... I'm nervous about middle school, but he doesn't seem worried at all, and that's really important to us. He seems to have the confidence he needs to begin this new chapter in his life.

From my experience, I would recommend listening to your gut. You know your child's personality, his strengths and weaknesses . It's not only about academics. How's his social interaction with kids his own age? I would recommend keeping him busy, not only with activities like sports or music but also volunteering or some type of community service. 

I'm sure you and your child will be fine. Good luck with your decision!


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## Tasorundo

I am sure there are pros and cons for all of it, ultimately you won't know how it affected your son until it does. My parenting philosophy is that it is highly likely every choice I make will screw up my kid, so I will at least try to do what I think is best!

My personal opinion is that I do not like grade skipping, and I do not like moves to push kids through things faster. The pushing down of curriculum has failed to provide better educated or adjusted students and many other countries (that test better than us) actually do less than we do. I think we should let kids be kids, there is no reason to race to adulthood, they will be there for the next 70 years, there is plenty of time.

There are only so many days you can play video games, eat pizza, chase your friends, stay up all night, have sleep overs, day dream, and on and on. Let kids be kids, and they will get to being adults when they do.


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## Diana7

When we moved house many years ago my oldest was put in the year above him because after hearing him read and do other stuff etc(he was 5 at the time), they worked out that he was two years above his peers with reading and comprehension. The trouble is that he made all these new friends who at the end of the year went to the bigger school and he was left to have to make all new friends all over again.
Personally I would keep a child with those of their own age.


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## Marduk

Tasorundo said:


> I am sure there are pros and cons for all of it, ultimately you won't know how it affected your son until it does. My parenting philosophy is that it is highly likely every choice I make will screw up my kid, so I will at least try to do what I think is best!
> 
> My personal opinion is that I do not like grade skipping, and I do not like moves to push kids through things faster. The pushing down of curriculum has failed to provide better educated or adjusted students and many other countries (that test better than us) actually do less than we do. I think we should let kids be kids, there is no reason to race to adulthood, they will be there for the next 70 years, there is plenty of time.
> 
> There are only so many days you can play video games, eat pizza, chase your friends, stay up all night, have sleep overs, day dream, and on and on. Let kids be kids, and they will get to being adults when they do.


Totally agree.

I had my teenage kid just yesterday spontaneously go into a story about one of the best days of his life - which was being free at a fairly young age to go hang out and wander the neighborhood and forest nearby with his buddies. Just having the time and freedom to go and chill with his buddies, have some laughs, and figure himself out.

I remember getting that time as a kid, and how formative it was. I'm glad he got that time, too.


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## Mr. Nail

Marduk said:


> I skipped a grade.
> 
> The result wasn’t good. Not only was I bored, but I was also ostracized on top of it, and smaller than everybody else.
> 
> I wouldn’t do it if it were my kid. I’d find out of school challenges for them.


He's right, I was also always the youngest in every class. as a boy it was not a good thing.
Second. Schools are very good at making average kids perform in average ways. Break the mould and expect trouble.

And another thing, I knew all of this when I let my precocious reader go to public school. I'll spend the rest of my life dealing with the fallout.


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## AandM

phillybeffandswiss said:


> If he is that smart and is motivated get him out. Let me add one more thing, my son earned one B 6th through 9th grade. All As until High School. Even then he graduated 3.6 or higher with the College prep and AP classes including calculus.
> 
> Found out later he never did his math Calculus and Trigonometry homework and aced all of the quizzes and tests. So, his gpa would have been higher if he didn’t slack on his homework.
> 
> All the issues parents have with hormones and mine slacked on homework. I’ll take that any day of the week.
> 
> 
> Edit:
> My friend’s son skipped a grade as well. Our sone went to school together. He is about to Graduate this year from Dartmouth and earned a scholarship.
> 
> You know your child. Talk with your wife, the teachers and go with your gut.


He's six. It was just one of those days:smile2:.


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## AandM

Tasorundo said:


> I am sure there are pros and cons for all of it, ultimately you won't know how it affected your son until it does. My parenting philosophy is that it is highly likely every choice I make will screw up my kid, so I will at least try to do what I think is best!
> 
> My personal opinion is that I do not like grade skipping, and I do not like moves to push kids through things faster. The pushing down of curriculum has failed to provide better educated or adjusted students and many other countries (that test better than us) actually do less than we do. I think we should let kids be kids, there is no reason to race to adulthood, they will be there for the next 70 years, there is plenty of time.
> 
> There are only so many days you can play video games, eat pizza, chase your friends, stay up all night, have sleep overs, day dream, and on and on. Let kids be kids, and they will get to being adults when they do.


I can't like this enough.


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## Adelais

He's only six. He needs time to just play and be a kid. His brain will continue growing, and he will seek out things that stimulate him on his own, if he is like that already.

Provide lots of books at home for him to read and teach himself things: not just academic things. Have you looked into Usborne books? They have all sorts of books all the way up to Jr. High. They have lots of pictures, and the younger kids love to look at the pictures, and at the same time they are learning things.

Buy big coffee table books on all types of subjects: wild animals, cats, dogs, horses, geology, architecture, dinosaurs, fine art, survival skills, mountaineering, spaceships, as well as how to draw, etc. Our local book store has a huge sale area where they sell amazing huge beautiful books with lots of pictures (and words too, lol) I found many beautiful books which my children actually wore out, and they only cost me $10 each. They spent hours learning things when they thought they were just enjoying reading about interesting things in coffee table books.

All schooling doesn't have to be done in the classroom. Children can start to hate school because of boredom or because of all the busywork. If he knows how to do something, why make him do it 10 more times? Or why make him take a harder class with older kids, when he might prefer to stay in the class with his friends, and read about his favorite hobby, or draw his favorite thing whenever he gets done earlier than everyone else? Like Tas. said, our educational system is not producing the best educated, or kids who are excited about education. Their methods are not working. Piling on more and more isn't the solution.

Think outside the box, because the box is not always right, even if they want to convince you that they know better than you.

(My opinion is based on my own experience. I educated 4 children at home. They have had lots of friends they met in co-ops, home school ski days, homeschool Ultimate Frisbee, and academic or enrichment classes I paid for (with other homeschoolers) over the years. Academically they advanced as quickly or as slowly as they needed, all graduated at 17, and chose their own friends. One daughter finished Algebra 1 and Geometry in one year, and another took two years for Algebra. Some friends were the same age, some older and some a couple of years younger. They chose their friends based on what they had in common, not by their ages.)


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

20yr said:


> I would be wary of skipping him. In my area, many boys are being held back by their parents voluntarily if they have Spring or Summer birthdays. My son who was born in May was youngest boy in his class all the way through Grade 8, even though he was in his correct grade and not skipped. He is also on the shorter side and he struggled socially in 5th-6th grade. It was hard to keep up in sports and he had not yet developed an interest in girls. Things evened out by 8th grade but I can't imagine how he would have struggled if we had ever skipped him.
> 
> What about doing some enrichment programs outside of school?


My thought is the above basically. 

To add: 

If the child is going to be active in sports (and imho should, if he shows any inclination and or talent) to not advance. That will only frustrate him when hormones change things. 

There are other ways to keep him academically challenged albeit the effort will fall to parents to keep his teachers and program engaged.

And there are the social skills mentioned. With navigating the hormonal changes at an absolute different rate than his peers that may set back any benefits from a pure academic advancement. 

I was advanced, all good, but I had the luck of being tall and athletically gifted that even the 6 months of late shaving, if you will, wasn't too bad. 
Being tall was the saving grace for me, I was taller than 90%, so no concerns there.

It's tricky. I'd lean towards the no. I've got a couple boys, and they're in their 30s now. Both were gifted, had the advancement question, we opted no. Was good choice for us.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

There are ways to keep him academically challenged. 

My family was avid readers, and my benefits of being the youngest meant I learned all my older siblings did.

But most of my close school friends were a year at least older.
It sucked getting my DL almost last.


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## Middle of Everything

AandM said:


> Yeah, the physical thing is our worry. Being a little boy when everyone else is hitting puberty is brutal. The rules have changed, everything has become social jockeying, but the little one is _physically_ hobbled from really understanding why.


Agreed. Kids are *******s.

The boys that can have 5 o'clock shadow in 7th grade have a huge advantage athletically and thus socially and with girls. 

But just know that whichever way you do it isnt a guarantee. I was older for my grade by birth month. But a late bloomer. Barley had to shave in high school. Probably grew 3 to 4 inches after I graduated. So you never know. Hopefully your son matures at a "normal" rate. But skipping ahead or holding him as is are not guarantees. 

Wish I could help more, but I think natures uncertainty makes it an incalculable proposition.


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## Mr. Nail

I never did (finished) math homework in the fifth grade. never less than 100% on tests and quizzes. Seriously pissed of my teacher. He did make me pay for that.


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## Rowan

I started kindergarten early and then skipped a year. So I was 6 in the 2nd grade. 

I was emotionally, mentally, and socially mature for my age. I hit puberty somewhat later than most of my friends, but not so late as to be glaringly apparent to everyone else. I had friends who hit puberty much later. Middle school sucked, but it sucked for everyone, and I survived. It sucked not being able to drive until nearly a year after all my friends, but I survived. It was actually kinda cool to graduate high school a year younger than my classmates. I took AP courses in high school and then a series of CLEP tests to start college within one class of being a junior as a 17-year-old. Graduating with my double-major at 20 was also cool. 

OP, it's likely your son may already be the same age as some of the 1st graders with later birthdays or who started early at private schools. There's also been a trend to hold back boys in pre-K and K in recent years, so many of his kindergarten classmates may already be a year older than he is. It's not uncommon to see classrooms of first graders who range in age from 6-8. A single year jump at this age will likely not make much of a difference in his social life through the rest of his school years. If you are worried about the jump to 2nd grade, then a jump to 1st might be a good compromise. However, you know your child better than anyone. Decide what's best for him based on balancing his academic needs with his overall maturity level. If he's socially mature and makes friends well, then skipping might be a good thing if it keeps him interested and engaged academically. 

Alternately, homeschooling might be a fantastic option. You can tailor his social and extracurricular activities - sports, etc. - to his age (and socio-sexual maturity level), while not constraining his academic progress based on his birthdate.


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