# creating my own problems...



## Nvidia (Oct 30, 2009)

My wife and I have been married for over 7 years now. We have to beautiful daughters of the ages 9 and 11. 
Starting with my wife's depression 3 years ago we have fallen out of love. At one time we both agreed that, if it weren't for the kids, we would be separated already. 
Recently I left but having a hard time being away from the kids. Not sure if I am doing this wrong and I should just stay, even thought there is no love in me for my wife anymore. I would have it easier if there where no kids involved. It is killing me to be separated even though I see them every day and we spend time together.. 
Not sure if there is a right or wrong answer/advise to this but any is welcome......
Nvidia


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## Help239 (Oct 20, 2009)

My wife had postpartum depression for 2 years after our 3rd child. I am ashamed to say I did not recognize it for what it was at the time. Although I supported her in the short term (a few weeks over a few months) - helped with laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. I eventually got fed up and thought she was just being lazy and told her so in anger.

What I wouldn't give to go back and correct MY behavior. This is not something she can control. You need to get your butt back home and be there for your wife AND your kids. Do you really think she's any different without you in the home? I can tell you she isn't. Help her. Your kids should not have to deal with this alone. Take her to your doctor and support her through this difficult time. She will respect you for it.

IMO, what she said about you two being apart is the depression talking. The meds they prescribe take time to work so don't expect a miracle overnight. It might also take a few trials before they find the right combination for your wife.


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## feelingblue (Sep 30, 2009)

Nvidia, I am sorry to hear that you have fallen out of love with your wife. I believe that marriage is more about commitment than love. I think love can come and go. If you honor your commitment to your marriage, I think you could get your love back. One of the vows many couple take is "In sickness and in health." Depression is a sickness. Help your wife through this and work on your marriage. You will be happier in the long run. Marriage is like a garden, if you work work to keep it in good shape, it will florish. If you don't make the commitment to working on it, it will die.


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