# Gifts!!



## IvyGirl (Aug 26, 2014)

Another thread on here has me wondering -

Ladies, what matters to you most when a man buys a gift for you? Should he spend a lot of money? Spend a lot of time searching for something rare and unique? Give you a gift card and let you pick something for yourself?

To me, it's the thought. I want him to spend a little bit of time looking around for something he really thinks I'll like.
Nothing pisses me off more than the "crisis gift" - that present that's bought in a panic at the last minute, when he picks up the first thing he sees that's in a color I might like. Because I know there's no real thought behind it, he's just trying to not be in trouble.


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## Revamped (Jun 19, 2014)

This year, all I want for Christmas is...

An up flush toilet to be installed in our basement bedroom. An $1100 gift. But, tripping upstairs at 2 am sux. And the added benefit, he gets to use it as well.

No more $20 Avon necklaces that I droll over.

Prove you love me and let me pee in comfort.

Am I asking too much?


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## Justus3 (Oct 18, 2014)

For me, it's the thought. My dh always comes up with the best gifts. He puts a lot of thought into them & they mean the most


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

My ex-husband was king of the "crisis gift". I've lost track of the number of pairs of slippers, always the wrong size, I received over the years. He also once bought me a pair of gloves in men's size XL for Christmas. Trust me, my hands _really_ aren't that big. :slap:

Yes, it's the thought that counts. So, what does it mean when there was clearly zero thought put into grabbing whatever was left on the bargain rack at the local department store right before closing on the night before the occasion? 

I don't care how much a gift costs, or even if it's free. I just really want it to at least seem like the giver has put a little thought and effort into it. Nothing says "you're not a priority" like a truly thoughtless gift from someone who should know you well enough to choose something you like.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It depends. I've been gifted with gorgeous jewelry which I love and gifted with a small stash of jelly beans, which I still consider to be one off the most sentimental/sweetest gift I've ever received.

I never turn them down and say thank you to all gifts!


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

I really like utilitarian gifts. If I need new tires or a new vacuum, please get me those things! If I don't need anything, get me a gift card. I'll find something I like. My love language is acts of service. Clean the kitchen or the bathroom when it's my turn to do so and you're IN! It's boring, I know.:sleeping:

I don't like gifts that are personal, i.e., jewelry, clothes, handbags because I have very specific tastes and the only person that can please me in that scenario is myself.

I couldn't care less about how much money is spent. Get me a mere card and I'll swoon. What matters to me is that my BF thinks about me on my birthday. I'm not a fan of xmas or V-day. My BF has it easy. I'm low maintenance when it comes to gifts.


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## interesting (Oct 27, 2014)

My favorite gifts have always been the gift of time…….time spent together…….

Once on my birthday my friend had planned out the whole day……we went for a walk…….a movie…..and a quiet dinner. It is the thought that counts……he wanted to be with ME. THAT is a gift.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I've really enjoyed gifts from him where he sneaks onto my pinterest and clicks on my "I'll die if I don't get this" board.It's not there for gifts but he always uses it for ideas. A lot of it is practical stuff. New knives,a better mixer,etc.

I've never actually gotten a gift from him that didn't require a ton of thought on his end,luckily. He already knows the rule about cards too. He knows that the card is the most important part of the gift.It can't be just a card with his name in it and some cute hearts either. There MUST be a letter written from him inside the card. He knows I will always forgive him for not being able to find a gift for me but he knows my feelings will be crushed if he can't write me a letter and buy a pretty card to put the letter in for me to keep in my card box. 

I don't like crisis gifts.My ex husband was a master at the crisis gift. I hated it. I'd rather receive nothing.


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## Bridge (Dec 27, 2013)

I have never understood mandatory gifts on mandatory days because that makes no sense. He feels the same way so we've never done presents or cards for birthdays or Christmas. 

Whenever somebody complains about getting a bad gift my brain malfunctions and my head spins off my shoulders.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Bridge said:


> I have never understood mandatory gifts on mandatory days because that makes no sense. He feels the same way so we've never done presents or cards for birthdays or Christmas.
> 
> Whenever somebody complains about getting a bad gift my brain malfunctions and my head spins off my shoulders.


Gifts don't necessarily have to be physical, tangible things. My husband gave me the "gift" of 'me time' when I was overwhelmed with our son for mother's day. He took care of our son and I got to go out to have some time for myself. That meant a lot to me as a SAHM, to get that break and actually have the focus on myself for once. 

To me, gifts are all about the thought behind them. I don't like spending a lot of money and my husband knows that, other than when we really need something or it's a gift for both of us. Our first Christmas we bought ourselves a big screen tv(used gift cards, bought on sale, and only paid a small amount out of pocket). It was perfect! He bought me a great purse(nice, inexpensive one from target) for my birthday and for Christmas I'm getting a robotic vacuum(so excited! great for us with a toddler and again using gift cards, big sale price, etc.).


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Lila said:


> :iagree:
> 
> *Frankly, with the exception of mementos, such as family photograph capturing a memory, I don't have a level of appreciation for material gifts as others do.
> 
> I'm all about making memories, and would rather spend money doing something with him than getting something from him. Doesn't really matter if it's well thought out or slapped together last minute. If he takes the initiative to spend time with me, then I'm happy as a lark.*


THIS IS ALL ME too... in our early years.. he would buy me things, but honesty I was kinda picky .. I took a few things back.. (not nice I know).. I admitted I can be a pain in the a$$... he pretty much told me I can buy my own stuff.. who could blame him! 

So our way has always been.. we shop together and just buy whatever we want ALL YEAR 'ROUND..Once we started having kids, it was *all *about them...Christmas, B-day parties.. I would lavish here -cause they are kids & get all excited..

But for us...I prefer we make a *memory*.. out to eat, a little overnight vacation, a walk in the woods.. it's all about time shared, laughing, a photo to bring us back in time...enjoying life together.. material gifts mean very little to me.. (we both have gifts at the bottom of our love languages, so this makes sense)....his time, his affection, his emotions towards me ...that's what speaks to my







....


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Love and great sex are the best gifts for me.


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## Bridge (Dec 27, 2013)

Anonymous07 said:


> Gifts don't necessarily have to be physical, tangible things. My husband gave me the "gift" of 'me time' when I was overwhelmed with our son for mother's day. He took care of our son and I got to go out to have some time for myself. That meant a lot to me as a SAHM, to get that break and actually have the focus on myself for once.
> 
> To me, gifts are all about the thought behind them. I don't like spending a lot of money and my husband knows that, other than when we really need something or it's a gift for both of us. Our first Christmas we bought ourselves a big screen tv(used gift cards, bought on sale, and only paid a small amount out of pocket). It was perfect! He bought me a great purse(nice, inexpensive one from target) for my birthday and for Christmas I'm getting a robotic vacuum(so excited! great for us with a toddler and again using gift cards, big sale price, etc.).


A day to yourself sounds like the perfect gift. I was focused on the OP's question... gifts that you can hold, tear open, and price.

A gift needs to be socks, underwear, or a new vaccuum because otherwise I'm going to feel awful when I donate it to goodwill.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I bought DH a gift months before his birthday. I helped the kids buy him a gift each and wrap it up themselves. He bought mine the morning of my birthday, in a big rush. I got nothing that morning. What he got me was nice enough, but the moment had past. It really is the thought that counts, and if you want to make someone feel like you're not in their thoughts, that's a good way to do it. He didn't help the kids (young kids so they can't go out and get presents without help) get me anything and they felt upset they had nothing for me. That was the worst thing, the kids being upset on my birthday. Ruined the whole day for me. I didn't care if all I got was a bar of chocolate, if they felt excited to give it to me, I would've been excited to get it. Heh, makes me upset again thinking about it.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

It's the thought to me as well. He's never given me a gift card. 

There's been a couple of gifts in the past that weren't my style. The pretty silk blouse when I was still in my (embarrassingly so) rock t-shirt phase. Looking back, it was a bit tom-boyish of me. Maybe I ought to have gone with the blouse but I exchanged it. However... he accompanied the blouse with a limited edition vinyl pressing of an album that I love and THAT was amaze-balls to me. These days, I'd be ready for that pretty silk top - I finally got there. He was way ahead of me. 

When he's given me jewellery, there's always been a lot of thought involved. He's a researcher type, so gifts from him are usually thought out and considered. We tend to exchange experience gifts the most. He's booked me into classes - photography, floristry, writing.... what speaks to me is that he's paying attention. I've turned up to a class barely knowing why I'm there and that's had me nervous while also laughing along and rolling with the experience of it.


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## DanaS (May 28, 2014)

It's the though that counts for me!


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

I want it to be something that I want, and not too expensive, as I am the family accountant. Nothing drives me more crazy that too expensive gifts, as I am rather low maintennce. 

I am vivd reader and for years I've been saying that I want to get books for my b-days and x-mas, but it didn't sink in until last few years. After seeing me with books, looking trhough them, caressing them while all other gifts were on the side, he finally got it.


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## Kresaera (Nov 8, 2014)

I want something meaningful, that he put some thought into. Recently I was upset (he recently almost had an affair-it's a long story) and on his way home from work, he stopped at a gas station to get gas and he saw a Strawberry Lemonade candle. My favorite drink in the world is Strawberry Lemonade (aside from wine) and I love candles. He bought it for me and said he thought of me when he saw it because I am always drinking the lemonade  That made me smile


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