# Husband constantly criticizes my parenting



## NeedToMoveOn

Well I've been married 3 years. I had a child when I met my husband. From the early days my husband has been negatively criticizing my parenting. From the food I chose to make my children, to what games I play with them. Especially my older one. I wanted to ask about two occasions where I was told that I was being negative towards my eldest and get an unbiased opinion.

Situation 1-My eldest was sad becuase he doesn't have a sibling close in age to play with. I told him I understand how he feels. (My sister is older than me and wasn't always available to play.) And that I would make sure I had plenty of playdates lined up for him. I was told that I over validated his feelings and emphasized the negative.

Situation 2- I was dancing and playing with the children the other day and I spun my younger one around. My older asked his dad to spin him around, but because my husband is severly overwoeght and out of shape he couldn't do it. I told my son if I could spin him around I would (I'm 6 months pregnant), but since I can't I'd pick something else for us all to do. Once again I was told that I was focusing too much on the negative, by saying if I could I would. 

Am I only focusing on negativity?


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## *LittleDeer*

No, he does seem weird and overly critical.
You are supposed to empathise with children, and coming up with a solution and shifting the focus is a good idea. Which you seemed to do perfectly. 

What do you do when he's so critical?


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## NeedToMoveOn

I get angry when he is critical. It really hurts my feelings. I am a stay at home mom and I feel like a lot of what I do is wrapped up in my children. I guess I might be taking it too personally.


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## BarelyThere

You don't criticize how he does things at his day job, do you? Might point that out to him next time. That's kind of like when a hubs gets home from work asking, "What have you been doing all day??" >( 

...I would get angry at that criticism too.


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## EleGirl

How old are your children?

Your older child is not your husband's child right? Is most of his criticism centered around things dealing with your older child?


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## NeedToMoveOn

My children are 7 and almost 3. My older child is not his. He has adopted him though. At the time it seemed like an okay idea, but now I'm really not so sure. If I don't agree to how my husband wants to parent, he'll threaten to sever the adoption. Like when he told me my son needs therapy and I said he doesn't.

I do catch flack for how I do things with the baby. The night I was dancing with the kids he said I was being unfair and negative to her, by suggesting that we do something we can all enjoy instead of spin her around when she asked.


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## MysteryMan1

How is his parenting? I'd ask him how he would've handled those same situations.


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## NeedToMoveOn

He is a disconnected parent. I try to tell him to put down the iphone or laptop and spend quality time with them. Because he doesn't they prefer me. He's turned that into parental alienation.


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