# How to get out of Friendzone with Husband?



## NewBegining (Jul 2, 2011)

Just want a little advice from the men!
My husband and I have been married for 3 years. Prior to being romantically involved we really were very close friends. Our romantic relationship was troubled by an unplanned pregnancy about 2 months into our relationship...and that is where our trouble began. After the pregnancy, and the birth of our son who is now 5, the intimacy took a nosedive... until we reached the place we are in now. My husband had an affair that I found out about 3 weeks after it started. I immediately kicked him out of the house, and we are in the process of divorcing. His relationship with the affair partner has continued in an off and on again style. We have had several conversations that have led me to believe that we may have a shot at reconciliation. I am willing to do the work to get over the affair, and I understand the reasons why it happened. One of the biggest things that was an issue for him was weight gain on my part after the pregnancy. I have since lost all of the weight and then some and look better than I did when we first met.
The biggest problem is that he says he thinks of me as "his best friend" but not as a romantic partner. I think if he could think of me as a romantic partner again, we would be on the road to recovery. So I guess my question is... what would be the best way to have him think of me as more than "the mother of his children" and his "buddy"? How can I make him think of me as the beautiful, sexy, woman that I am. A woman that has needs and desires etc. Do I try to initiate sex with him? I am afraid he will reject me, and I will be hurt all over again.. do I tell him I want to sleep with him? Again that will bring up alot of anxiety for me... I just need some help here! This weekend is a perfect opportunity because he is spending the weekend at my house (overnights included) to help take care of our kids (we have two) while I am working all 4th of july. HELP!!


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Hello NewBeginning ~

Have you and your husband ever attended marriage counseling? I would think that if BOTH of you are looking at reconciliation, then there needs to be some stipulations - such as 1) him having absolutely no contact with the affair woman anymore, and 2) marriage counseling for the pair of you.

God Bless.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Look up "kino"

Use it.

It works.





NewBegining said:


> Just want a little advice from the men!
> My husband and I have been married for 3 years. Prior to being romantically involved we really were very close friends. Our romantic relationship was troubled by an unplanned pregnancy about 2 months into our relationship...and that is where our trouble began. After the pregnancy, and the birth of our son who is now 5, the intimacy took a nosedive... until we reached the place we are in now. My husband had an affair that I found out about 3 weeks after it started. I immediately kicked him out of the house, and we are in the process of divorcing. His relationship with the affair partner has continued in an off and on again style. We have had several conversations that have led me to believe that we may have a shot at reconciliation. I am willing to do the work to get over the affair, and I understand the reasons why it happened. One of the biggest things that was an issue for him was weight gain on my part after the pregnancy. I have since lost all of the weight and then some and look better than I did when we first met.
> The biggest problem is that he says he thinks of me as "his best friend" but not as a romantic partner. I think if he could think of me as a romantic partner again, we would be on the road to recovery. So I guess my question is... what would be the best way to have him think of me as more than "the mother of his children" and his "buddy"? How can I make him think of me as the beautiful, sexy, woman that I am. A woman that has needs and desires etc. Do I try to initiate sex with him? I am afraid he will reject me, and I will be hurt all over again.. do I tell him I want to sleep with him? Again that will bring up alot of anxiety for me... I just need some help here! This weekend is a perfect opportunity because he is spending the weekend at my house (overnights included) to help take care of our kids (we have two) while I am working all 4th of july. HELP!!


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Conrad said:


> Look up "kino"
> 
> Use it.
> 
> It works.


Erm... I assume that you mean the "kino" that has to do with touching, and not the one that has to do with Linux or the Soviet rock band?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

The missus and I were best friends before lovers then marriage and our dramas! heh

But to be honest, the affection and desire was always there, just restraint - had an emotional affair with her while we were 'just friends'. In your situation I think you have to step up the game, he needs to be aroused, turned on. Be more confident, stop being a doormat and stand up for yourself. BE the sexy woman you are, might also want to throw in a bit of jealousy too.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

First off, there can be no real reconciliation if he doesn´t end all contact with the OW forever and he commits to being totally transparent to you. If not, then reconciliation is nothing more than wishful thinking.

You need to woman-up and not allow him to believe you are going to allow him to sit on the fence. If he does not feel sexually attracted to you then that pretty much seals the deal and it is best to divorce and move on with your life. Chances are very good that you´ll find a man who will not only love you for who you are but will also be physically attracted to you.


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