# Please give me your opinion.



## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

I am trying to get my Husband on board with me having a weekly 'My Night' to go out with who I choose. His issues are:

1, My date nights should be when plans are made with female only friends. 'Ladies night' and not be made a firm weekly 'My Night'.

2, If plans are made where its going to be a co-ed group there that he should me invited.

3, Tonight I said I was going out with my cousin Sean for dinner. My Husband feels as it it Family that he should have been welcomed to join us.

Is my Husband right or wrong?


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## TBT

He's right.He's setting boundaries because his marriage is important to him I would assume.What would your boundaries be in this regard?


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## bkaydezz

Why not invite family with family if nothigns broken?

Have a ladies night out. I think he is scared you will start to get distracted and focus more on your ladies night than on him throughout the week. he is being protective of his marriage and whats his. No loving spouse wants their spouse to give everything about them to someone else, wheter in fun, attitude, and so on. 

Let us know more about the boundaries this may help us like TBT said.


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

TBT said:


> He's right.He's setting boundaries because his marriage is important to him I would assume.What would your boundaries be in this regard?


I trust my Husband and would give him his space if he wanted it.


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## norajane

> 3, Tonight I said I was going out with my cousin Sean for dinner. My Husband feels as it it Family that he should have been welcomed to join us.
> 
> Is my Husband right or wrong?


This part seems awfully controlling to me. Sure, sometimes he might be welcome to join you, but sometimes you might want some private time with your family, or they with you. You shouldn't be required to invite him to join you every time you see a member of your family. 

Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't see your family whenever you want to, with or without him.


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## bkaydezz

Why kind of space do you have when you are together?


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

norajane said:


> This part seems awfully controlling to me. Sure, sometimes he might be welcome to join you, but sometimes you might want some private time with your family, or they with you. You shouldn't be required to invite him to join you every time you see a member of your family.
> 
> Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't see your family whenever you want to, with or without him.



Well I never invite him out when I go out with my family. And he feels I should. But he gets invited to my family's BBQ's and stuff like that.


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

bkaydezz said:


> Why kind of space do you have when you are together?



I'm not understanding your question.


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## bkaydezz

Thats a problem.
If i never invited my Bf he would think i was up to something and question why i wouldnt.
Why dont you invite him?


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## DawnD

I.HaveA.Question said:


> I am trying to get my Husband on board with me having a weekly 'My Night' to go out with who I choose. His issues are:
> 
> 1, My date nights should be when plans are made with female only friends. 'Ladies night' and not be made a firm weekly 'My Night'.
> 
> 2, If plans are made where its going to be a co-ed group there that he should me invited.
> 
> 3, Tonight I said I was going out with my cousin Sean for dinner. My Husband feels as it it Family that he should have been welcomed to join us.
> 
> Is my Husband right or wrong?


 Is this because you want to go out and act like you are single for one night a week? I don't think he is being unreasonable at all.


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## bkaydezz

Can you two be in the house together and do your own things?

That would be considered your time. your space.


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

bkaydezz said:


> Thats a problem.
> If i never invited my Bf he would think i was up to something and question why i wouldnt.
> Why dont you invite him?



Because is supposed to be 'My Night'


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## bkaydezz

DawnD said:


> Is this because you want to go out and act like you are single for one night a week? I don't think he is being unreasonable at all.




Yeppers!


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

bkaydezz said:


> Can you two be in the house together and do your own things?
> 
> That would be considered your time. your space.



Yes We can and do, but it would be nice for me to have a night for myself.


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## bkaydezz

Im not understanding how you are supposed to have a MY night with just family if its reoccuring?

Then it is MY MY MY MY?


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## bkaydezz

What are you wanting out of this night to yourself?
Honestly?


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## TBT

So if your nights out turned into predominantly co-ed get togethers you would never invite your H simply because its your night?


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

FrenchFry said:


> I actually understand that it is "your night." I like my time without my spouse as well.
> 
> But I also realize I am married and that my husband might not appreciate me going out with a bunch of dudes on the town.
> 
> Y



That is not the case. I get invited out to somewhere that guys have been invited to as well (my friends). He feels like because guts have been invited , that he should be invited too.

I went to see my best friend over the state line and a two other couples went too. He feels that he should have been invited too. But I just wanted my alone time with my best friend. 

I was never close with my divorced parents. now we all get together for dinner often. My chance to grow close with my parents. My Husband feels he feels that he should be invited to join us so he can grow close to his in-laws and that Our Kids should have that opportunity as well.


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

bkaydezz said:


> Im not understanding how you are supposed to have a MY night with just family if its reoccuring?
> 
> Then it is MY MY MY MY?



its not My My My My.

It is once a week.


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## DawnD

I.HaveA.Question said:


> That is not the case. I get invited out to somewhere that guys have been invited to as well (my friends). He feels like because guts have been invited , that he should be invited too.
> 
> I went to see my best friend over the state line and a two other couples went too. He feels that he should have been invited too. But I just wanted my alone time with my best friend.
> 
> I was never close with my divorced parents. now we all get together for dinner often. My chance to grow close with my parents. My Husband feels he feels that he should be invited to join us so he can grow close to his in-laws and that Our Kids should have that opportunity as well.


 And I think your H is correct. If your "guy friends" are being invited, whats the big deal with him going? Oh, thats right, because it is YOUR time. What about him? Do you care at all about his feelings on this issue?

It seems like you don't want him to go anywhere with you.


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

TBT said:


> So if your nights out turned into predominantly co-ed get togethers you would never invite your H simply because its your night?


No I don't think so.


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

DawnD said:


> And I think your H is correct. If your "guy friends" are being invited, whats the big deal with him going? Oh, thats right, because it is YOUR time. What about him? Do you care at all about his feelings on this issue?
> 
> It seems like you don't want him to go anywhere with you.



No we do lots together


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## DawnD

I.HaveA.Question said:


> No we do lots together


Then why do you have an issue respecting his boundaries?


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## bkaydezz

you said you wanted and my night with the ladies, then you said you wanted this My night with the cousin.
so this isnt just one my.

your best friend is a Girl/Guy?
i am assuming guy sense you said there were other couples their too?


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## bkaydezz

I think there is more too this going on than whats being said.
noone faithful would push away a pouse to be on MY terms when you are in a US relationship. am i right?


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## DawnD

bkaydezz said:


> I think there is more too this going on than whats being said.
> noone faithful would push away a pouse to be on MY terms when you are in a US relationship. am i right?


 Its either that, or she is really young and not understanding that the basis for a strong and loving marriage is respecting each others boundaries.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

I.HaveA.Question said:


> Because is supposed to be 'My Night'


do you mind saying how old you are?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

DawnD said:


> Its either that, or she is really young and not understanding that the basis for a strong and loving marriage is respecting each others boundaries.


exactly what im thinking


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## DawnD

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> exactly what im thinking


Thats what it sounds like to me, but I have been wrong before and I will be wrong again, so we wait.... lol.


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## TBT

I.HaveA.Question said:


> No I don't think so.


You do see that any single men in these situations may start to view your H as somewhat ineffectual if you're consistently without him and because of that may pursue your availability? This isn't me casting aspersions on your character,but rather me,as a man understanding where your H may be coming from.


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## SimplyAmorous

I.HaveA.Question said:


> I am trying to get my Husband on board with me having a weekly 'My Night' to go out with who I choose. His issues are:
> 
> 1, My date nights should be when plans are made with female only friends. 'Ladies night' and not be made a firm weekly 'My Night'.
> 
> 2, If plans are made where its going to be a co-ed group there that he should me invited.
> 
> 3, Tonight I said I was going out with my cousin Sean for dinner. My Husband feels as it it Family that he should have been welcomed to join us.
> 
> Is my Husband right or wrong?


I think it is GOOD that your husband wants to be included, I wouldn't like it at all -if my spouse felt that my going anywhere with him was "intrusive"....If your husband is feeling that VIBE from you....I can see why he is reacting the way he does. 

I am one who doesn't think anything should be hidden in a marriage bond... so why not have him along with your male cousin, what does your husband do that annoys you or would interfere with the communication?? Is his sense of humor lousy, do you share family secrets with your cousin that you don't want him to learn... what is the motivation to exclude him? 

I think when a spouse KNOWS they are welcome , even wanted to be there by your side.....except of course those "girls nights out only" ....that you just enjoy his company -that is why you married him!....he has more of a comfort if/when things like this come up...

But getting him to agree to a written in stone "MY NIGHT , I'm off limits to you - for whatever I feel like doing, whoever I want to go out with" ....is again...DISSING him, putting him on a lower rung of importance.

Marriage is a partnership...it MATTERS how both feels in these things....even if it is innocent... he feels it could head down a slippery path... if given 50 some nights a year to free reign...Alot could happen there... don't underestimate. 

He likely already feels your desire for spending time with him slipping...this is why you are getting THIS reaction from him.


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

bkaydezz said:


> you said you wanted and my night with the ladies, then you said you wanted this My night with the cousin.
> so this isnt just one my.
> 
> your best friend is a Girl/Guy?
> i am assuming guy sense you said there were other couples their too?


No my best friend is a girl.


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> do you mind saying how old you are?


I am 25


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best

I.HaveA.Question said:


> I am 25


ok, to me that explains quite a bit.


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## docj

25. Okay that explains it. Immaturity. You will hit 30 and look back atbyour selfiah immaturity n laugh. Its not your fault.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jimena

I can understand how your husband could be offended if he's never given the opportunity to know your family in a more intimate setting that barbecues etc. don't offer.

The reason why "nights out" work in our relationship is bc there's generally an open invite to the other person, but we respect the other's personal space, or our schedules just dont match.


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## docj

I have a question. Dont feel bad. You are learning as you grow.. Ok
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer

IHave?,

How would you feel if your husband wanted to go out 4 nights a month (48 nights a year) without you? Add in your ME NIGHTS and that's 96 nights a year apart from one another

I think that any gathers that could involve other guys should also include an invitation to your spouse. Same thing with your family get togethers. If he goes to a bunch of these, maybe he'll see nothing is wrong and will opt not to go to so many in the future.

It sounds like he has a little bit of a trust issue with you. Can't say I blame him


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## Phenix70

I.HaveA.Question said:


> Because is supposed to be 'My Night'





I.HaveA.Question said:


> Yes We can and do, but it would be nice for me to have a night for myself.


Sounds like you already have one foot out the door.
This isn't about having a Girl's/Friend/Family Without Husband Night Out, this is about you seeking out a life that EXCLUDES your husband.
If you haven't already had an EA or PA, I do believe you will be in one very soon, even I can sense your desperation to get out there searching for a man to scratch your itch, no wonder your husband is concerned.


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## ScarletBegonias

Whenever someone starts asking for space I see red flags. 

You're young, I assume you haven't been married for an incredibly long time...it's strange you're having arguments over "MY" nights.

Sounds to me like you want to be married and you want to be single. Can't have both,sorry!


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## WorkingOnMe

I get the impression that you want the freedom to date other men once a week. And no, I would not be ok with that.

My wife has had girls night out. Never a weekly thing. More like a couple times a year thing. And I've never ever been told I could not go. Not that I would want to, but it wouldn't be a big deal if I just showed up. Actually I have just showed up a couple times. Bought a round for the girls and left.

Never ever has she wanted to go out with other men (even with other women around) and not have me with her. What kind of marriage is that???


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## MarriedWifeInLove

I understand each couple having their own lives and things they are interested in and what makes them happy.

But isn't being married because you want to be a "couple?" That you've joined your lives together and want to "share it with each other?"

While I understand if he wants to go fishing and you don't like to fish, or you want to go shopping and he doesn't have the patience to look at 20 pairs of shoes that you might go separately.

I also wouldn't ever have dinner out with a family member without inviting my husband? That would hurt his feelings. He would probably say no, but at least I would ask.

But if you want a night out with the ladies and it includes men? Nope, nope and nope.

I tell you what, tell him if you can have your ladies night out with the gals and there might be a few men that join in; then he can have one once a week out with the guys and a few women joining them isn't a problem for you.

Then let's see how "important" that night out becomes for you.


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## bkaydezz

Do you have any feelings towards this woman friend of yours?
Or just best friends?

I really just feel for your husband. Im sure he is feeling neglected and not understanding why you arent wanting to include him in different parts of your life.
When you get married you no longer belong to you. Youbelong to your husband(dont mean that as property) i mean in spirituality,love, devotion, faifthfullness, etc.
You have to put him first. not your wants, or your fun night.
Try having him with you. you may just havea great time. unless you are purposely avoiding that?


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## TRy

I.HaveA.Question said:


> I am trying to get my Husband on board with me having a weekly 'My Night' to go out with who I choose.


 With “who you choose” is another way of say with no boundaries. All married people need to observe boundaries. You should too. From your husband’s point of view I would consider the fact that you are even making such a statement a big red flag.



I.HaveA.Question said:


> My date nights should be when plans are made with female only friends. 'Ladies night' and not be made a firm weekly 'My Night'.


 Wow, you actually want him to allow you to go on “date nights” with men included. He also wants time with him to be a priority so he does not want there to be a firm your night only. His request are reasonable, yours are not. Another red flag.



I.HaveA.Question said:


> If plans are made where its going to be a co-ed group there that he should me invited.


 If there is a coed group activity why would you not want to invite your husband to go? Yet another red flag.



I.HaveA.Question said:


> Tonight I said I was going out with my cousin Sean for dinner. My Husband feels as it it Family that he should have been welcomed to join us.


 Again, why is it you do not want him to go with you on family things? Red flag again.



I.HaveA.Question said:


> Is my Husband right or wrong?


 Red flags all over. From your husband’s point of view I would be very worried about my marriage to you. Your husband is spot on right and your are completely wrong. If your husband posted this on this board instead of you, people would be telling him that his wife does not appear to understand what it means to be married and wants to be free act like a single woman.

I have a question for you. Be honest with yourself when you answer this question. Do you really want to be married?


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## Trenton

I'm just confused as to why you wouldn't want your husband to be invited? I'd think since you married the dude, you like to spend time with the dude. Do you both work at the same job and spend 24/7 together or something? I'm confused.


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## A.Issue.My.Husband.Has.

Trenton said:


> I'm just confused as to why you wouldn't want your husband to be invited? I'd think since you married the dude, you like to spend time with the dude. Do you both work at the same job and spend 24/7 together or something? I'm confused.



We do not work together.
My Husband leaves @ 6am for work and is home @ 5-6pm
I leave for work @ 7-8am and get home @ 8-9pm
When We are all at home we do household duties, eat, and put the Kids to bed @ 9pm. Then we have 1-2 hours of alone Us time before We get to sleep.

My night is on Monday
We have a Family Home Evening night on Tuesday.
Free night on Wednesday.
Our Date night on Thursday.
We go out to a bowling facility with Our Kids on Friday.
Saturday we just hang out doing Family things.
Sunday is Church and relaxing/Family things.


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## Trenton

I.HaveA.Question said:


> We do not work together.
> My Husband leaves @ 6am for work and is home @ 5-6pm
> I leave for work @ 7-8am and get home @ 8-9pm
> When We are all at home we do household duties, eat, and put the Kids to bed @ 9pm. Then we have 1-2 hours of alone Us time before We get to sleep.
> 
> My night is on Monday
> We have a Family Home Evening night on Tuesday.
> Free night on Wednesday.
> Our Date night on Thursday.
> We go out to a bowling facility with Our Kids on Friday.
> Saturday we just hang out doing Family things.
> Sunday is Church and relaxing/Family things.


Wowza, you're really into schedules. That's great I'm sure but I can't relate to it.

I think my actual question to you is...why would you not want your husband invited? Doesn't he enhance any time you have when he's around?


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## bkaydezz

I.HaveA.Question said:


> We do not work together.
> My Husband leaves @ 6am for work and is home @ 5-6pm
> I leave for work @ 7-8am and get home @ 8-9pm
> When We are all at home we do household duties, eat, and put the Kids to bed @ 9pm. Then we have 1-2 hours of alone Us time before We get to sleep.
> 
> My night is on Monday
> We have a Family Home Evening night on Tuesday.
> Free night on Wednesday.
> Our Date night on Thursday.
> We go out to a bowling facility with Our Kids on Friday.
> Saturday we just hang out doing Family things.
> Sunday is Church and relaxing/Family things.



I get a feeling that you are bored with your life?

You have an order here, so that makes it predictable to know these nights are in place to happen. 

What day did you say was your husbands night? Idont see that anywhere on here

These things you get to do with your family and husband are wonderful. Dont take it for granted. Life can change in the blink of an eye. 

What are you wanting to happen in this fun night?


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## JJG

I am a big fan of me time. But when i say 'me time' that can be anything from drinks with friends to reading my book. Also, drinks with friends certainly doesnt happen every week without fail! (FYI Im 27 with no kids). 

I think wanting the schedule 1 day every week is too much. 

You might want to ask yourself WHY you want to spend such a frequent amount of time away from your family.


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## sinnister

You'll find that most men would probably think that your husband is being quite reasonable.

I would find it difficult to understand the motivation as to why it would be so important to schedule time away from me.

If a girls night (ughh) comes up then it comes up. But scheduling a weekly one gives me the creeps.

EDIT: oops...pretty much verbatim what was said above.


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## Dr. Rockstar

While my wife and I don't have issues with these kinds of things, I can see why other people would. There are many valid points that other posters have made.

But I'm going to side with the Original Poster regarding her issues in order:

1. I'm a Stay-at-Home Dad, but by nature I'm rather solitary and a traditional introvert (that is, I regain my energy by being by myself and not around other people). I get tense and anxious if I don't get a chance to be by myself every once in a while. For us that night is usually Wednesday. The key here is that my wife knows where I'm going. She knows that I'm going to a coffee shop or a bookstore or to the local bargain theater, not to the bars.

2. My wife works in an industry where her team goes out to celebrate after work when they have finished an important project. She also works in an industry that's dominated by men. I usually couldn't go if I wanted because I'm taking care of the kids, and I'm okay with that, because I know that nothing is going to happen.

3. Not allowing OP to visit with family alone just seems really controlling and jealous to me. My wife is very connected to her family, but they live two hours away, and many times I just don't want to go, so she takes the kids. Let's say, for example, that my wife is complaining about me and asking advice from her sister Fine. That's no different from what we do here... people who are having trouble in their marriages come here for advice. If the OP's husband doesn't want her to have any kind of relationship with any man period (which is what we're talking about) how do you think he'd feel if he found out that she was on this site.

I understand that a lot of TAM members have been burned because they let their spouses have outside relationships that became affairs. I'm really not trying to offend anyone or make light of that. But there come a point where we have to trust our spouses a little. The OP's husband just doesn't trust her, and he's beginning to cut her off from any outside relationships at all so that she can be with him 24/7. Hell, that's the definition of a misogynistic relationship, and it's something that needs to be dealt with immediately before OP's husband is controlling her entire life.


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## bkaydezz

yea, i have NEVER been on a girls night out where a man didnt hit on any of us.


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## Toffer

Can't believe this thread is still growing!

No one has agreed with your point OP but I guess that doesn't matter a whole lot to you.

If you're going to do it, do it. However, don't be surprised when your husband decides he wants to do it to and winds up meeting someone new who wants to spend as much time with HIM as possible


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## bkaydezz

good point Toffer!


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## Shaggy

You tme is fine and dandy and we all need it sometimes. However as your spouse he should always been invited by default. Especially on trips, big events, and family events. He is your family now, your companion, partner and lover. You should be sharing experiences together and growing together. 

when you go on a trip with friends, especially when thee coupes are there then yes he should have been invited.

Doesn't mean you cant have you time, but you shouldn't have exclude him time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 日本顎の恋人

A.Issue.My.Husband.Has. said:


> I am 25


I'm 52.

I've been married almost 30 years.

We've ridden out the storms of both being unemployed at the same time, having to relocate long distance (like 1000 miles) to save our jobs, my having a cancer scare, him having a stroke and heart attack, my dysfunctional family, the growing responsibilities he has toward an aging parent. We are an affirmed couple, still possessing a huge sense of humor toward one another and loving one another even more now than the day we married. 

A BIG part of the success of our marriage is trust. It stuttered in the beginning, as it well might with any newly joined couple, but we stood by one another as we got through that stage of *proving that actions not approved by the other partner didn't mean that there was a threat to the marriage.* It sounds like you are at that point with your mate.

Going out once a week? Yeah, that sounds a _little_ much. Do you have so much free time away from home and job responsibilities that you would be able to do that and still have quality time with your family? But you shouldn't be chained to your spouse, family and job. People need room to step back and take a deep breath, otherwise you smother. 

Seeing family without him? Why not? Do _you_ want to tag along if he decides to go have a beer with a cousin (even if it _is_ female)? Shoot, my husband waves me off, saying "have a good time." He's not interested in listening to family gossip, or vents about a relation you aren't getting along with. He knows I'll tell him about it later in an elaborate, hand waving sketch. He goes alone to group gatherings of his family, I go to mine. Sometimes our schedules just don't work out where we could get away together.

That your night out should only be female or invite him if it's coed? Oh gawd, I'd be so out the door if that demand was made. My husband and I must be a rare pair. I've waved him off on group motorcycle rides - an activity I loathe, but he enjoys - even knowing that there are other women among the riders. I've gone off on my own solitary camping trips, tying my gear to the back of my motorcycle, looking in whatever direction the weather is clear and telling Spouse that I'll call him every couple of hours and then let him know where I've decided to camp for a few nights. He knew I needed that down time because of the stress of my job. It was either that, or *he* would have to deal with me being wound up and ready to explode. I cared too much for him, with his own job stresses at that time, to want to add to his own weariness of working.

I suppose the secret to the success of our relationship (and - _aaaach_ - I feel like I'm inviting a lightening bolt to strike by saying this ray: ) is our vow to one another: "*you* are the most important person in my life, there will *never* be another, no matter what the circumstances might look like to others." (Believe me, I've had people look at me with big round eyes, saying "he _lets _you do that? you let _him_ do that?") "My heart, my trust, my life is yours." 

I'm being forced to look at the option of working at a destination so far away that it'll mean me having to get an apartment for the work week. That's just the way that the economy has fallen on us. Spouse is out of work and can't get private insurance because of past health issues. I'm not finding a job in my field locally. The housing market is in the toilet; we don't want to sell this place anyway. It's our dream home that we wouldn't be able to match in the area where my job prospect is. We both absolutely _haaate_ what might have to be done, but the one thing Spouse knows is that the distance, the prospect of becoming acquainted with a new group of people, _is absolutely not a threat to our relationship. _

I'd like to be able to bottle some of the success we have and be able to sprinkle it on your relationship. Ultimately it has to be something that you tell your husband *you *need, that it is not an indication that you are unhappy with your life; it is not a threat to your connection; but is something like a special diet that will keep you emotionally healthy. It's not a diet that appeals to him; it might even sound repellent and you'll compromise so that it isn't so bad to him; but you ask that he go along with you on it. Otherwise, it sounds like you might become starved in a facet of your life that he seems unwilling to acknowledge is a need.


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## WorkingOnMe

日本顎の恋人;942431 said:


> but the one thing Spouse knows is that the distance, the prospect of becoming acquainted with a new group of people, _is absolutely not a threat to our relationship. _


Famous last words.

Distance from husband. Isolation. Interesting new people to hang out with. Hopefully you are correct. And your husband, alone at home, lonely, unemployed....sounds like a recipe for depression. I'm all for trust, but why set yourself up for a bad situation?


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## AbsentMindedProfessor

"I went to see my best friend over the state line and a two other couples went too. He feels that he should have been invited too. But *I just wanted my alone time with my best friend.* "

If you just want alone time with your friend, why are you two out with other people?

I'm not trying to criticize; I really want to understand this.


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## Entropy3000

A.Issue.My.Husband.Has. said:


> I am trying to get my Husband on board with me having a weekly 'My Night' to go out with who I choose. His issues are:
> 
> 1, My date nights should be when plans are made with female only friends. 'Ladies night' and not be made a firm weekly 'My Night'.
> 
> 2, If plans are made where its going to be a co-ed group there that he should me invited.
> 
> 3, Tonight I said I was going out with my cousin Sean for dinner. My Husband feels as it it Family that he should have been welcomed to join us.
> 
> Is my Husband right or wrong?


I am absoultely with your hubby on this one.

GNOs are essential. But no GNOs with other men.
Just ladies.

I would expect that if it is coed that I would be invited, but this is gray and really depends on what the event is. Are we talking hanging out and drinking? Dancing? 

I hope you are having date nights with your husband. I am all for marriage friendly GNOs.
If you have to have men involved then you need to ask yourself ... why?


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## Entropy3000

A.Issue.My.Husband.Has. said:


> I trust my Husband and would give him his space if he wanted it.


He is being protective of his marriage. He is not being ambivalent.

You need space? To do what?


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## Entropy3000

A.Issue.My.Husband.Has. said:


> Because is supposed to be 'My Night'


LOL. So you want a Hall Pass. Right? Your night where you are not married. No boundaries?


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## Cosmos

I don't think your husband is being at all unreasonable.


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## EleGirl

Your husband would be a fool to go along with you having a GNO with a guy... 

If you want to be single get a divorce.


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## WorkingOnMe

If other guys are invited, I'm invited. Whether she says it out loud or not. I'm going. Problem? Deal with it.


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## GTdad

She ain't coming back.

Because it's. Her. Husband. Who. Has. Issues. Not her.


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## WorkingOnMe

Lol


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## anonim

A.Issue.My.Husband.Has. said:


> I trust my Husband and would give him his space if he wanted it.


just because you trust someone, it doesnt make them trustworthy,
and just because someone trusts you, it doesnt mean you are trustworthy.


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## sinnister

bkaydezz said:


> yea, i have NEVER been on a girls night out where a man didnt hit on any of us.


This is what I'm talking about.


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## bkaydezz

its the truth.


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## Starstarfish

I think that says a lot about where people are going for their GNO. 
I mean, yeah, if you are always going to dance clubs or bars, you are probably going to get hit on. 

But, my GNOs are usually going to Applebees and the movies with my friend, and I've yet to get hit on.


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## bkaydezz

Starstarfish said:


> I think that says a lot about where people are going for their GNO.
> I mean, yeah, if you are always going to dance clubs or bars, you are probably going to get hit on.
> 
> But, my GNOs are usually going to Applebees and the movies with my friend, and I've yet to get hit on.


It can happen anywhere.
I disagree, ive been hit on in the grocery store, bank, park.
(i have never been to a club) i have been out to a resturant/bar before and still got hit on. 
It can happen visually, physically, verbally..you name it.
so i have to respectfully disagree


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## sinnister

Starstarfish said:


> I think that says a lot about where people are going for their GNO.
> I mean, yeah, if you are always going to dance clubs or bars, you are probably going to get hit on.
> 
> But, my GNOs are usually going to Applebees and the movies with my friend, and I've yet to get hit on.


A man will hit on a woman anywhere....anywhere.


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## larry.gray

sinnister said:


> A man will hit on a woman anywhere....anywhere.


Agreed, BUT, going to a club will get every one of the ladies hit on several times. Going to someplace where the ladies can talk and do things might get one of the hit on once and a while.

If they're going to a club, getting hit on is a key part of their choice where they go.

Most of the time the GNO's my wife go to are at a friend who's husband is an airline pilot. When he's out of town, they'll all go over there. I know there is no risk to my marriage with them.


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## saddxb

Since my kids were born I had 1 night with Husband alone and 5 nights with co-worker at her home with other friends. This glorious 6 nights happened over 7 YEARS, Husband never want't to go anywhere and don't see the importance of having time alone together or apart. Take what you can and enjoy that time...


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## Starstarfish

Perhaps I'm just dangerously unattractive. But, I don't get hit on going to the grocery store, or really - anywhere else. But then, 99.9% of the time, I'm going with a two-year old, and likely have food on my shirt if not in my hair, so - I'm sure that vastly reduces interest. 

The point I was saying is - assuming that all GNOs are dangerous and just breeding points for people being hit on, I think is false. I think it entirely depends on what is going on, and where people are going. And what the entire purpose of the GNO is. And, if you don't trust your spouse to not take interest if someone hits on them, you've got a far deeper issue.


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## turnera

A.Issue.My.Husband.Has. said:


> Well I never invite him out when I go out with my family. And he feels I should. But he gets invited to my family's BBQ's and stuff like that.


Why would you not invite him? 

How insulting. And selfish.

Why did you get married?

ETA: I see she never came back. Didn't get permission from us.


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## Dr. Rockstar

Just out of curiosity, are any of the other posters wouldn't allow their spouse go out unescorted?


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## turnera

My husband goes out for work all the time; I don't have a problem with it. I told him 30 years ago if I ever caught him cheating, he'd never see me again.

What the OP was suggesting, though, is an Indepependent Behavior - wanting the comforts of marriage while acting single.


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## anonim

Dr. Rockstar said:


> Just out of curiosity, are any of the other posters wouldn't allow their spouse go out unescorted?


me. at least how the op was intimating.


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## norajane

Dr. Rockstar said:


> Just out of curiosity, are any of the other posters wouldn't allow their spouse go out unescorted?


Personally, I think that's ridiculous. And controlling. Your spouse is not a child, and if you believe you have to treat them like one, that's a sad, sad life for both of you.


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## srtjm

You should set boundaries that you both are comfortable with. If you were uncomfortable with something he was doing you would want him to respect your feelings.


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## costa200

Dr. Rockstar said:


> Just out of curiosity, are any of the other posters wouldn't allow their spouse go out unescorted?


You mean at all times? Hell, what if she dragged me to one of those huge shopping malls to do shopping (most boring thing ever)? Nah, she can go alone. There is no way you can be with her all the time and at one point you have to trust her. 

But i'm not a fan of GNO when the destination is a meat market no... Totally different situation. And if the group is mixed then i'm there. No discussion on this.


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