# Stretch Marks



## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

I am dealing with body image issues and slowly trying to learn to love my body. I had an eating disorder in the past and while I would never go back to that I’m really struggling to learn to love my body and allow my husband to be intimate with me. Lately I have been trying harder to show him my body. For a couples of days I noticed some changes on his part and then everything now seems to have fallen back to the way things were before i made an effort to change. How did you learn to love you stretch marks and feel happy?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Lingerie is DESIGNED for your situation. get some sexy lingerie


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Accept that they're there. They fade over time. They are warrior marks and nothing to be ashamed of. We all have scars, moles, and flaws. I'm sure your husband does too. Learning to accept and love the whole package as strong, capable, beautiful even, may be a work in progress for you. You're going to have days when you don't feel so hot. But keep at it, because when you start to feel good about yourself, you start to feel like you can accomplish anything. Therapy can be really helpful, as can exercize, and self-care.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

AllyCat702 said:


> and allow my husband to be intimate with me.


From a mans point of view, in the dark all cats are gray. You and him simply need to time your private time together accordingly.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I adore my wife's stretch marks. They are the result of having our two precious kids decades ago. They are also the result of her weight loss (200 to 110 she is the one that inspired me to lose 165 lbs.) So, we have an enclosed backyard with a hot tub, and in her mid sixties she still rocks a bikini. (She has two less revealing swimsuits when we have company)


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

Yeah, there are no reasons for a hubby to have any issues with stretch marks.

It happens, but marks a shallow man.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

Listen to @joannacroc That's good advice.

You can also try to find lingerie that is particularly flattering for specific areas, while you get used to the new you. Get some candles. Everyone looks better in candlelight. Get candles inside glass containers, where the flame is below the rim of the glass so you're not worrying about the candles while getting it on. Then, have fun!


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

In my experience women worry about this stuff much more then guys. Most guys like women, period, all different types, a much broader range of shapes and sizes then is generally understood. Part of the attraction is that they are different then us, so things like stretch marks don't change that.


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## coquille (May 8, 2018)

AllyCat702 said:


> Lately I have been trying harder to show him my body. For a couples of days I noticed some changes on his part and then everything now seems to have fallen back to the way things were before i made an effort to change.


What is your husband's reaction to your stretch marks? A woman can be pretty confident about her body, but a small negative remark or way of looking from her partner can shatter this confidence. What do you mean by "I noticed some changes on his part"? What kind of changes? Is he accepting your stretch marks? Does he see them as imperfections or as part of who you are and he loves you AS YOU ARE?

Accepting your body needs work sometimes, yes, but it is important and crucial that your partner look at you with a loving pair of eyes rather than a critical one. Nobody is perfect, including himself. Our society puts so much emphasis on women's body that we (both men and women) tend to forget that a beautiful body is a loved body. Period.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Taxman said:


> I adore my wife's stretch marks. They are the result of having our two precious kids decades ago. They are also the result of her weight loss (200 to 110 she is the one that inspired me to lose 165 lbs.) So, we have an enclosed backyard with a hot tub, and in her mid sixties she still rocks a bikini. (She has two less revealing swimsuits when we have company)


Woo HOO! You da man!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

they make this MARVELOUS thing called Le Bustier. 
i guarantee your hubby will not be looking at anything BUT that if you put one on


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Talker67 said:


> they make this MARVELOUS thing called Le Bustier.
> i guarantee your hubby will not be looking at anything BUT that if you put one on


I think maybe Hollywood/society gives unrealistic expectations about everything, from Thor's ridiculous arms, to the seemingly weightless ladies. One thing I've noticed is that in film, men's reactions to women in lingerie are a lot more WOW ish than any have been in real life, at least for me. When you are feeling a bit self-conscious already and put lingerie on and then get a luke warm reaction, it sort of makes you want to crawl into a crack in the floor and die. I'm not sure I'd be going the lingerie route with the confidence issues already in play, unless perhaps it was going on a trip as a couple to pick something out he really wants to see her in?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I love it @joannacroc and I buy it for my wife regularly because I get emails from Honey Birdette and I don’t want to miss out on getting her any styles I like for her. Unfortunately she only feels like wearing it MAYBE once a month.

As for body image issues I’m not a lady but the way I combat it is to work out every day and try to train really hard. My coach today says, “You’re looking lean. We’re going to have to call you slim! How much you weigh now?” He pushes me to have physical goals so I don’t stagnate. Of course I have scars, injuries, moles, and stuff I wish was tighter but I am doing the best I can with what I have; so I don’t feel bad about it. If I ever do I use it as fuel to train harder.


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## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> I love it @joannacroc and I buy it for my wife regularly because I get emails from Honey Birdette and I don’t want to miss out on getting her any styles I like for her. Unfortunately she only feels like wearing it MAYBE once a month.
> 
> As for body image issues I’m not a lady but the way I combat it is to work out every day and try to train really hard. My coach today says, “You’re looking lean. We’re going to have to call you slim! How much you weigh now?” He pushes me to have physical goals so I don’t stagnate. Of course I have scars, injuries, moles, and stuff I wish was tighter but I am doing the best I can with what I have; so I don’t feel bad about it. If I ever do I use it as fuel to train harder.


Does it bother you when she doesn’t wear or use things you buy her?


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## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

joannacroc said:


> I think maybe Hollywood/society gives unrealistic expectations about everything, from Thor's ridiculous arms, to the seemingly weightless ladies. One thing I've noticed is that in film, men's reactions to women in lingerie are a lot more WOW ish than any have been in real life, at least for me. When you are feeling a bit self-conscious already and put lingerie on and then get a luke warm reaction, it sort of makes you want to crawl into a crack in the floor and die. I'm not sure I'd be going the lingerie route with the confidence issues already in play, unless perhaps it was going on a trip as a couple to pick something out he really wants to see her in?


We have gone to pick some stuff out and either I haven’t felt entirely comfortable to wear it for him or he has done something that has made me feel self conscious.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

AllyCat702 said:


> Does it bother you when she doesn’t wear or use things you buy her?


Yes and no. 

*Yes*, because I wish she’d just wear it because she knows I want it and wouldn’t that be fun! 

She is my only sexual outlet and she is the gatekeeper. 

It doesn’t seem like a big deal to me, I would literally do anything for her even stuff I hate or find repulsive or painful if she asked, so yeah it is sometimes frustrating that she can’t be bothered to take five minutes out of her day to do something I would like.

With that said, she doesn’t have body issues (so she says). She just doesn’t see the point of wearing it except in those rare moments when she feels like it. If she wears it then it’s another delicate piece of laundry to do (she won’t let me do laundry).

*No*, because I bought it for me; not for her. 

Ultimately if someone doesn’t want to do something you need to accept it and/or move on. For me her overall attitude towards sex in general (doesn’t really care, never thinks about it) is a bigger problem and this is kind of a symptom of that that fundamental issue. 

On any given day there is a chance I am thinking about sex MOST OF THE DAY, or at least many times during the day similar to when I was in my late teens or early 20s. I don’t know why and I can’t control it. That’s not her fault or issue to deal with it’s my problem, so how can I be upset with her when she can care less?

She claims she basically never thinks about sex, which isn’t true but it’s certainly a lot less than I do or we’d be at it like rabbits before spring time.

I don’t think any of these issues are uncommon.


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## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Yes and no.
> 
> *Yes*, because I wish she’d just wear it because she knows I want it and wouldn’t that be fun!
> 
> ...


Does it bother your wife that you think about it always and she never does?


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

AllyCat702 said:


> We have gone to pick some stuff out and either I haven’t felt entirely comfortable to wear it for him or he has done something that has made me feel self conscious.


What is he doing that makes you feel self conscious?


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## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

joannacroc said:


> What is he doing that makes you feel self conscious?


He one time made a comment about body hair and some marks on my thighs.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

AllyCat702 said:


> Does it bother your wife that you think about it always and she never does?


Again it’s complicated.

The short answer is *yes*, the long answer is yes and no.

Why yes and no? 

Well let’s say she thinks a lot about spending time with a friend or family and taking them out into the woods for an all day hiking session. This is what makes her really happy is getting a big party of people together, driving for 4 hours, hiking all day, driving for 4 hours, getting dinner, and then coming home at 1am.

To her, this is what makes her feel fulfilled (as an example) and she spends lots of mental energy on this and looks forward to it.

Well guess what, hanging out with people I likely have nothing in common with for almost 24 hours and missing stuff I would normally do like going to the gym is not my idea of fun. I would actually rather dig a ditch than do that.

So the number of times I am going to be enthusiastic about doing this, not a lot.

It’s not really too different. It took me a long time to realize this. 

So what do I do now is I go anyway and try to have a good time and usually there is no liquor or weed or anything so I just take the full force of it with a sound mind and no escape. 

For a long time I said no. I never stopped her from what she wanted to do and I even encouraged it but I just didn’t participate. I rejected what she wanted from me.

So I stopped doing that. This and next month I am doing all kinds of stuff that I would not touch with a 10 foot pole under normal circumstances, one is like way way way worse than what I describe above and it will likely be mind numbingly boring for me. But somehow I am going to have fun. I don’t know how yet but I’m sure I’ll figure out something.

This will be meeting an emotional need for her that she needs to get from me.

News flash for women, sex for men can fill an emotional need we have.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

AllyCat702 said:


> We have gone to pick some stuff out and either I haven’t felt entirely comfortable to wear it for him or he has done something that has made me feel self conscious.


Yeah, I think it works better when you pick something out that _you_ feel beautiful and sexy wearing. Men aren't always great at picking out what feels flattering to us. I mean, yeah, he should get to pick sometimes. Yet, if you're feeling self-conscious, I think you're better off choosing. 

What else has he done to make you feel self-conscious? They have to realize that normal women aren't going to look like a model looks in the outfit (duh).


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## maree (Jun 13, 2011)

I think you may need to see a counselor because I think this is a reflection of how you feel about yourself, not necessarily how your partner sees you. I've had two babies, to me stretch marks are just normal and most women probably have them. 

Were your partners comments about marks and body hair negative? I never understood the obsession of not having ANY body hair that some men have for women, unless we didn't go through puberty we are going to have body hair.

But all that said, I think you need to work on YOUR acceptance and YOUR feelings about yourself and not anyone else's feelings about you, at least first.


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## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

maree said:


> I think you may need to see a counselor because I think this is a reflection of how you feel about yourself, not necessarily how your partner sees you. I've had two babies, to me stretch marks are just normal and most women probably have them.
> 
> Were your partners comments about marks and body hair negative? I never understood the obsession of not having ANY body hair that some men have for women, unless we didn't go through puberty we are going to have body hair.
> 
> But all that said, I think you need to work on YOUR acceptance and YOUR feelings about yourself and not anyone else's feelings about you, at least first.


My husband is the only partner I have been with and he never mentioned my stretch marks I just dislike them and always see them when I look in the mirror.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

VladDracul said:


> From a mans point of view, in the dark all cats are gray. You and him simply need to time your private time together accordingly.





AllyCat702 said:


> My husband is the only partner I have been with and he never mentioned my stretch marks I just dislike them and always see them when I look in the mirror.


I think you're earlier body image things made just be still hanging in there enough to make all this difficult. 

I know your husband doesn't care about your stretch marks. 

I will tell you that when I was 21 I had a breast tumor removed and I still have a scar on one boob and my small boobs certainly aren't symmetrical. As long as you don't draw men's attention to things, they don't pay much attention to it. 

I doubt it will make you feel any better but do you know how many actresses have had tummy tuck so that they have a huge scar all the way across there lower abdomen for the rest of their lives and it doesn't slow them down a bit?

If you feel like your old eating disorder is a part of this then I do agree counseling which you can now do via video right from home, might help. 

And you definitely need to let him know when he says something that makes you more self-conscious or hurt your feelings or is just something you really don't want to deal with. That goes for everyone and every partnership.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Well, we have heard from the guys. Thanks for the husband input!  

Any of you gals got views on this topic form a female perspective?


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

How old are you? How old is your husband? 

I'm 41 and I definitely feel a lot more comfortable with my body now than 20 years ago.

I have stretch marks, spider veins, I need to wear a bra, I have a baby pouch, I have a ton of gray hair (which I don't dye.) I have droopy eyelids, my legs giggle when I run. I'm in worse shape than 10 years ago.... Ask me if I care about all my imperfections? No, I don't care. Oh, and I have body hair too. Who doesn't?

Ask my husband if he cares? No, he doesn't care. Has he said anything funny about my imperfections? Yes, he has. But I haven't taken his jokes too personal. He knows he's not perfect either and I talk about his beer belly as well. 

I have had so much fun with this imperfect body. I know I should get in better shape (I blame covid for my laziness ) because I still have a lot of things I want to accomplish inside and outside the bedroom, lol! 

It's really, really sad for me to read about girls feeling so self-conscious about their bodies and their tiny imperfections. Stretch marks are so small compared to surgery or injury scars. Are you comparing yourself to other women? Are you following those ridiculous influencers? Why do you feel your stretch marks define your whole body? 

I'm sure you have beautiful attributes. Why do you focus on your imperfections instead of focusing on your good attributes? If it makes you feel better, have sex in the dark. Tell your husband to save his remarks about your body, remind him he's not perfect either. 

Everyone is imperfect. Women have hair, some have more, some have less. Stop caring so much about tiny imperfections, no one is perfect. Enjoy your body, have sex because it feels good!!! Don't let your insecurities bring you down. 

One day you're going to look back and regret all the energy and time you wasted caring so much about stretch marks. It's just not worth it.


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## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

pastasauce79 said:


> How old are you? How old is your husband?
> 
> I'm 41 and I definitely feel a lot more comfortable with my body now than 20 years ago.
> 
> ...


I am 30. And that is the thing it doesn’t feel great for me and that frustrated me because everyone makes it seem as though it’s this amazing thing and I don’t know how to always tell my husband it doesn’t feel great when I know he is always a little unsure of himself. He has made some more efforts the last few days but then I think I get self conscious and he gets frustrated and then we revert back to nothing.


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

AllyCat702 said:


> I am 30. And that is the thing it doesn’t feel great for me and that frustrated me because everyone makes it seem as though it’s this amazing thing and I don’t know how to always tell my husband it doesn’t feel great when I know he is always a little unsure of himself. He has made some more efforts the last few days but then I think I get self conscious and he gets frustrated and then we revert back to nothing.


I can read the hurt from your posts. Stay doing what's best for you.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

AllyCat702 said:


> I am 30. And that is the thing it doesn’t feel great for me and that frustrated me because everyone makes it seem as though it’s this amazing thing and I don’t know how to always tell my husband it doesn’t feel great when I know he is always a little unsure of himself. He has made some more efforts the last few days but then I think I get self conscious and he gets frustrated and then we revert back to nothing.


Maybe you both need some therapy. Sex is something you learn and make it better with time and practice. There's funny moments, weird moments, smelly moments, but if you both are not open to the imperfections of sex then you won't move forward to better experiences.

If you are all tense and stressed out during sex, then there's no way you can enjoy it. Tell your husband what you like and how you like it. We are all different, and men need to know what we like, so they can make us feel good.

Are you confident enough to tell your husband what you like?


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

Doesn’t bother me at all.
For me - if you’re generally fit and in shape, I wouldn’t worry about the stretch marks at all. If you’re not, I’d focus on that more than the stretch marks.

Fortunately my wife has always stayed fit and got back in fairly good shape after our babies. I love her body, stretch marks are no factor.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

DudeInProgress said:


> Doesn’t bother me at all.
> For me - if you’re generally fit and in shape, I wouldn’t worry about the stretch marks at all. If you’re not, I’d focus on that more than the stretch marks.
> 
> Fortunately my wife has always stayed fit and got back in fairly good shape after our babies. I love her body, stretch marks are no factor.


Absolutely agree.

I'd guess that most women have stretch marks to some degree, especially those of us with kids.

We can't control that, but we can get and stay fit.

I'm an endurance athlete, 5'4 125 lbs, and I have them. My bf commented once that he'd noticed but it was because we happened to be talking about stretch marks and I said I had them.

He said "yeah, I've noticed. But that's life".

None of us are perfect, so control what you can and don't worry about what you can't.

That's good advice for guys concerned about their hair lines too 🙂


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Not to mortify you, but the best way to find out what works for YOU sexually is for you to masturbate in private (with or without a sex toy) and learn what feels good, and then you can teach that sequence to him. All women are literally different what works for them. Most agree the clitoris is an essential focus, and there's lots of men who hit it once like an elevator button and then move on.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> and there's lots of men who hit it once like an elevator button and then move on.


If any man hits mine like an elevator button, I'll leave him with a black eye.


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## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Not to mortify you, but the best way to find out what works for YOU sexually is for you to masturbate in private (with or without a sex toy) and learn what feels good, and then you can teach that sequence to him. All women are literally different what works for them. Most agree the clitoris is an essential focus, and there's lots of men who hit it once like an elevator button and then move on.


Thanks for all the advice and suggestions. I don’t know that I would be entirely comfortable with that but I suppose I have to be more open these days to fix my marriage.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

AllyCat702 said:


> Thanks for all the advice and suggestions. I don’t know that I would be entirely comfortable with that but I suppose I have to be more open these days to fix my marriage.


Honestly it can take some experimentation with yourself to find out what actually works. You would certainly want to just do that in private because it's not going to happen overnight and you don't want someone intruding on that.

From what you said it sounds like you're both timid. I mean you really need attraction to drive these things is the bottom line. I'm assuming you had some physical attraction to your husband when you first married him unless it's an arranged marriage or something. Usually that's enough to motivate people to fumble around until they start enjoying themselves.


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## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Honestly it can take some experimentation with yourself to find out what actually works. You would certainly want to just do that in private because it's not going to happen overnight and you don't want someone intruding on that.
> 
> From what you said it sounds like you're both timid. I mean you really need attraction to drive these things is the bottom line. I'm assuming you had some physical attraction to your husband when you first married him unless it's an arranged marriage or something. Usually that's enough to motivate people to fumble around until they start enjoying themselves.


I am very attracted to him it just seems like life or some other issue is always getting in the way and then we revert back to just being in bed and falling asleep.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

lifeistooshort said:


> Absolutely agree.
> 
> I'd guess that most women have stretch marks to some degree, especially those of us with kids.
> 
> ...


I dont have stretch marks but as we age we all get things happen to our bodies that we may not like. Things sag, wrinkles appear, we go grey/bald, we either accept ourselves the way we are or we rush around spending a fortune haing cosmetic surgery trying to retain our youth but there are always part of our bodies that let us down even if we go that route.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

AllyCat702 said:


> I am very attracted to him it just seems like life or some other issue is always getting in the way and then we revert back to just being in bed and falling asleep.


I think that is because you are both timid. He's probably afraid of rejection at this point and your uncomfortable with things so you're both uncomfortable. It might be that you need to kind of take a step back and go back to as if you were dating when you were both comfortable just cuddling and giving affection and didn't think it would necessarily lead to sex and see if that getS you more comfortable with things, both of you. I know some marriage counselors 
recommend an exercise where you just give affection and dond't try to initiate sex for certain period of time. During that time you can still experiment trying to find a negligee of some type that you would feel comfortable in and attractive in. And you could work on finding out what physically works for you in your private time during that period as well.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> Again it’s complicated.
> 
> The short answer is *yes*, the long answer is yes and no.
> 
> ...


sorry, i am kind of on your wife's side on this. Hiking up a mountain is about 20X more fun that working out at the gym. You force yourself to the gym only because you do not have the time to go for it, or it is pouring rain outside. 

And it is REALLY hard to get a full body workout at a gym, like you would hiking up a mountain with a 30 lb pack!


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

AllyCat702 said:


> I am very attracted to him it just seems like life or some other issue is always getting in the way and then we revert back to just being in bed and falling asleep.


Is there something else going on in the relationship that is creating awkwardness between the two of you?


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## AllyCat702 (May 30, 2021)

theloveofmylife said:


> Is there something else going on in the relationship that is creating awkwardness between the two of you?


Nope I am very happy with him otherwise. I can’t complain about everything. He is very loving I think we both were raised by very strict parents and some of that is hard to get rid of even though we are married. I’m learning a lot about how visual men are and I’m trying hard to love all my imperfections. I started running also.


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## Chaotic (Jul 6, 2013)

This may be a little off-topic, but a lot of men have stretch marks too, and I bet most don't even notice. Especially guys who went through a rapid growth spurt when they were teens or who gained a lot of muscle in a short amount of time. Stretch marks are from the body changing shape quickly. It's not just a female thing.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

AllyCat702 said:


> Nope I am very happy with him otherwise. I can’t complain about everything. He is very loving


That is really great. I'm happy for you. 



AllyCat702 said:


> I think we both were raised by very strict parents and some of that is hard to get rid of even though we are married.


Yep, people who are married to each other are allowed to have great sex. Go for it. 



AllyCat702 said:


> I’m learning a lot about how visual men are


Very much so. The thing is, many tend to notice the good stuff first, what they like. They don't notice imperfections nearly as much as we do, especially if we don't bring it to their attention. He looks at you and sees his beautiful wife whom he loves. 



AllyCat702 said:


> I’m trying hard to love all my imperfections.


That's a work in progress thing for most people. I think it's especially true for women though, since there seems to be a sexy, enhanced, female model on everything we see these days. We can't all be Barbie dolls, so don't worry about that. Don't compare yourself. Just keep learning to love who you are and what you have, and let your husband love you too.



AllyCat702 said:


> I started running also.


Good for you!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Paying a lot of attention to your husband's body (especially a particular appendage) overshadows a woman's perspective of her own imperfections to a degree that is so far reaching that it's "hard" to measure.

So reach for his hard measure and you will definitely measure up.😉


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## PurpleinPA (Jun 1, 2021)

joannacroc said:


> I think maybe Hollywood/society gives unrealistic expectations about everything, from Thor's ridiculous arms, to the seemingly weightless ladies. One thing I've noticed is that in film, men's reactions to women in lingerie are a lot more WOW ish than any have been in real life, at least for me. When you are feeling a bit self-conscious already and put lingerie on and then get a luke warm reaction, it sort of makes you want to crawl into a crack in the floor and die. I'm not sure I'd be going the lingerie route with the confidence issues already in play, unless perhaps it was going on a trip as a couple to pick something out he really wants to see her in?


This! I've never had a crazy reaction to lingerie so I don't bother anymore. I just invested in some good bras lol


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

PurpleinPA said:


> This! I've never had a crazy reaction to lingerie so I don't bother anymore. I just invested in some good bras lol


My wife sees a crazy reaction every time she wears something I bought her.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

AllyCat702 said:


> My husband is the only partner I have been with and he never mentioned my stretch marks I just dislike them and always see them when I look in the mirror.


From kids?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

AllyCat702 said:


> My husband is the only partner I have been with and he never mentioned my stretch marks I just dislike them and always see them when I look in the mirror.


This is important that you said this. It is your thoughts... not his. My wife had a really fast growth spurt when she was young and has them on her thighs and boobs. I think they are hot as [email protected]&k. I wouldn’t change them at all. I love her tiger stripes.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

joannacroc said:


> I think maybe Hollywood/society gives unrealistic expectations about everything, from Thor's ridiculous arms, to the seemingly weightless ladies. One thing I've noticed is that in film, men's reactions to women in lingerie are a lot more WOW ish than any have been in real life, at least for me. When you are feeling a bit self-conscious already and put lingerie on and then get a luke warm reaction, it sort of makes you want to crawl into a crack in the floor and die. I'm not sure I'd be going the lingerie route with the confidence issues already in play, unless perhaps it was going on a trip as a couple to pick something out he really wants to see her in?


i can say, for sure, YES if you put on sexy lingerie and hubby goes Meh, he is an idiot!

I can also only speak for me, but if my wife walks in wearing any sexy lingerie, i drop whatever i am doing and give her all sorts of attention!

So, give it a try! if it works, it REALLY WORKS. 

Also, by lingerie...i do not mean fuzzy PJ's. I mean lacy, see-thru, black or red, thin and sparce fabric, lingerie. 

YES! (especially if thigh high sexy stockings are added):










NOPE NOPE NOPE!:


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

AllyCat702 said:


> Thanks for all the advice and suggestions. I don’t know that I would be entirely comfortable with that but I suppose I have to be more open these days to fix my marriage.


If you have toys or not...get more vocal if he is doing something you like. More "Yes,Yes" or "Right there, Right there!" Or my favorite, "Ohh ****! Right there!"

Let him know what he is doing or how he is doing it is good for you. If he is not an idiot he should pick up those ques that slap him in tge face.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Talker67 said:


> i can say, for sure, YES if you put on sexy lingerie and hubby goes Meh, he is an idiot!
> 
> I can also only speak for me, but if my wife walks in wearing any sexy lingerie, i drop whatever i am doing and give her all sorts of attention!
> 
> ...


Exactly! 
Wifes Black corsett, g string, garter and black lace stockings with the contrast of her silver sparkling 4" heels.....OHH HELL !!!!!

Told her gonna get her a closet full of pretty things. Wearing sets, etc like this daily under her regular clothes would drive me crazy just knowing what she has on under her skirts.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Chaotic said:


> This may be a little off-topic, but a lot of men have stretch marks too, and I bet most don't even notice. Especially guys who went through a rapid growth spurt when they were teens or who gained a lot of muscle in a short amount of time. Stretch marks are from the body changing shape quickly. It's not just a female thing.


Alot of us have scars also. Top of butt crack around r hip extending down right outer thigh and below knee down right shin to ankle.

Just like scars, they signify a difficult time in life that was overcome. Women hate scars but men typically think scars are cool...they show you overcame something that did not kill you. Just like my beautiful wife has a scar on her upper lip that lines up with a crooked tooth. Courtest of fist fight with her dad while protecting her little brothers from him when she was young teen. Her stretch marks from carrying my sons. She was big....5'03" and OB/GYN was expecting 12/13# boys. Even while extremely pregnant with stretch marks and belly the size of a beach ball i could not keep my hands off her if my life depended on it.

Unlesd the guy is shallow and all about him...he will not care one bit about scars or stretch marks. Just shows a person is real.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> Alot of us have scars also. Top of butt crack around r hip extending down right outer thigh and below knee down right shin to ankle.
> 
> Just like scars, they signify a difficult time in life that was overcome. Women hate scars but men typically think scars are cool...they show you overcame something that did not kill you. Just like my beautiful wife has a scar on her upper lip that lines up with a crooked tooth. Courtest of fist fight with her dad while protecting her little brothers from him when she was young teen. Her stretch marks from carrying my sons. She was big....5'03" and OB/GYN was expecting 12/13# boys. Even while extremely pregnant with stretch marks and belly the size of a beach ball i could not keep my hands off her if my life depended on it.
> 
> Unlesd the guy is shallow and all about him...he will not care one bit about scars or stretch marks. Just shows a person is real.


scars on women's boobs are a big exception....those can be very hot, in a bdsm sort of way


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

joannacroc said:


> Accept that they're there. They fade over time. They are warrior marks and nothing to be ashamed of. We all have scars, moles, and flaws. I'm sure your husband does too. Learning to accept and love the whole package as strong, capable, beautiful even, may be a work in progress for you. You're going to have days when you don't feel so hot. But keep at it, because when you start to feel good about yourself, you start to feel like you can accomplish anything. Therapy can be really helpful, as can exercize, and self-care.


I think many women really overthink things when it comes to their bodies. But I have found that sometimes it does not matter what you say or dont say. There is nothing you can do to make them feel better about what they see as a flaw.

My wife did not like her boobs. She often complained about one being slightly bigger and both being too small for her body. I honestly loved the, they boobs! Lol.... But she often said things like, what is so great about them??? They are small, uneven and just not anything worth talking about. 

She told me she wanted to get a boob job. I wasn't really thrilled about the idea of spending 5K on what I thought would look and feel like two bowling balls. She actually talked me into being supportive. 

After getting the surgery, it took about 8 weeks to see the final results. I cannot believe how much more confidence she has in the bedroom.... To my surprise, thry look completely natural and only slightly more firm


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I don't know about others. Mrs. C didn't get stretch marks but I wouldn't have cared if she did.

She's my mate, the mother of my children and grandmother to my grandchildren.

I have never stopped ravishing her little body regardless of age, weight gain, health issues or acts of God. I'm hungry for her, always have been and always will be.


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