# Moving day



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Today I am moving all of the big things to my new apartment. The smaller stuff I will be moving over the next several days. I will be making several more trips as we sort thru the accumulated debris of a 25 year relationship over the coming months.
Anyway, I am moving to another town, where I have never lived. My daughter will be close enough to see often and my new job will afford me opportunities to meet new people and form new friendships. One of the things I have the most anxiety about is loneliness. So I am looking for suggestions from others who may have gone thru this. What are things they did to avoid the black hole of loneliness?
I know to a degree I need the time to reflect. But in the past I have allowed my introspection to consume me to the point of depression and do not want to allow that to happen.


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## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

meetup.com

Find a few groups that interest you and give them a try.

Instead of introspection without a plan, use your time for introspection with a plan. i.e.; Read!

Suggested reading:
The Four Agreements - synopses of the Agreements

I am sure others have books/authors to suggest, but for me The Four Agreements has changed my outlook the most.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

movealong said:


> meetup.com
> 
> Find a few groups that interest you and give them a try.
> 
> ...


Four Agreements is a breath of fresh air. 
Easy read and damn easy to understand.

You will love it.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Are you a pet person? For me, coming home to an empty house feels very lonely. It wasn't really much of a concern to me because I have primary physical custody of our son. But the weekends when he's with his dad would have been really depressing at first if I hadn't also had custody of our dog and our elderly cat. When my dog died late last year, I got a new kitten, so now have two cats at home. Honestly, having someone - even if they're a combined weight of less than 20 pounds - who is happy to see you when you come home is pretty helpful in combatting loneliness.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I like the pet thing for sure but if an eventual goal for you is to find someone new, even if that's way off, my suggestion is to spend time alone first. Get comfortable with being the new you and your new life. Being comfortable alone builds confidence. Seriously try going to dinner and a movie by yourself. Sit at the bar area where they keep the pretty bartender and flirt. Go to a movie by yourself. People have a lot of anxiety over such things so this was new and Uncomfortable with me at first , but over time I found it very liberating and enjoyable to do things for me by myself.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

All excellent advice above.
I'd also add try some volunteering. There are elections coming up and they always need people, find a habitat for humanity project, do some gardening with a civic group. It all helps you feel like you are making a difference (you are), getting you out of the house, and meeting more people outside of work.


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