# Husband doesn't call when he's out of town



## Frustratedwife6

I am so frustrated with my husband. He went out of town to his boss' beach house from Thursday through Sunday and never called . . . not once . . . even though Sunday was our daughter's birthday. He just came home, and when I told him it made me sad that he hadn't called, he acted defensive and said "we were on the boat or drinking most of the time." Really? 
He similarly hasn't called when on business trips in past year or so. 
We have been married for many years, and it used to be that he would call me almost every night when away on business. I did the same (and still do) when I am traveling for work.
Usually we let the person traveling do the calling as the person at home doesn't want to interrupt the other's meetings.
I am so hurt. I would feel better if my husband just said he was sorry that he hurt me, but he doesn't even seem sorry. He just got angry and defensive. I was alone all weekend taking care of our 3 young kids, and it would have meant the world to me to hear from him, even just "goodnight" before he went to bed at night. I feel like he is taking me for granted, or even worse, doesn't care about me.


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## livelaughlovenow

He didn't even call on your daughters birthday.... something is wrong with that. Sorry hun, but I would definitely dig deeper on this, it was a beach house trip, and not a business meeting stuck in conferences the whole time, he should've called. Unless he was preoccupied with someone else.


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## Anon Pink

Yup, sounds like he is taking you for granted.

But to be fair, I don't call home when I go away for girls weekend. but that evolved due to the fact that if I did call home, the kids would get on the phone and I would then be treated to every detail of every squabble and fight since I walked out the door. So, I don't call home because I don't want to hear it.

But to not call on his daughters birthday? Nope, does not fly!


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## thatbpguy

When wifey and I are apart we call every night. Be it business or with friends. If she didn't I'd go nuts.


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## KathyBatesel

If he'd always been like this, I'd say it wasn't cause for concern, but this kind of change leaving your daughter neglected on her birthday *is* reason for digging deeper, as livelovelaughnow said.


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## Wiltshireman

I have to admit that I am not good at remembering to call home every evening if I am away from home for a few days. If it is a long journey I will let my wife know that I have arrived safely and would ring her if there was a change in arrangements (timings of journey / venue etc) but if there is no new news I would not ring just to “touch base” in the same way my wife does if she is away. For me it may just be a hangover from when calls from hotels / pay phones were the only option and they were so expensive. Like most people I do now have a mobile phone but using it is not instinctive for me yet.

Having said that I cannot imagine not ringing for one of my kid’s birthdays.

BTW. 
Whenever I have to spend time away my wife and kids have my contact numbers and can contact me if they need / want to. Did the OP try ringing her husband?


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## Theseus

Daughters birthday - I'm guessing he was drunk and forgot. He should apologize to her at the very least! I'm curious though, why didn't you call him??


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## committed4ever

This my biggest beef (probably only one) with my H in our marriage right now. I usually go over in my mind how I'm going to really get on him about it but I'm usually so glad to see him that it goes right out the window. Ugh! 

And I do call him. Usually go to voice mail and I get a text reply. 

But OP the daughter birthday thing - you did not have a problem with him going for recreation on her birthday?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

This would really bother me. It doesn't take much time and effort to make a 5-10 minute call. Not calling on his daughters bday is down right cruel to your daughter.


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## Hortensia

This raises my eyebrow. If I were you, I'd put a private detective on his trails next time, to see what keeps him sooo busy...


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## SouthernMiss

Not calling on your daughter's birthday is inexcusable and low. I'd be furious in your shoes.


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## IsGirl3

how dare he get angry at you! what a manipulative guy. he knows exactly how to get you off his case - he gets angry. So he gets angry and makes you question whether you're right or wrong. He's wrong. You call home when you have 3 kids to check in and you definitely call home to speak to your daughter on her birthday or to wish you a nice day with the birthday girl. It shows no respect for you or your daughter. How nice for him to be galavanting at a beach house on a boat while you're left behind with the 3 young kids. The very itty bitty least he could have done was call. 2 minutes would have meant the world to you. And he got mad because you were expressing how much it would have meant to you to hear from him? He's guilty about something - and maybe it's just guilt for not calling - but I'd get angry right back at him and don't back down. What he did was unacceptable. I think the kicker for me was that he didn't even have the decency to call for the b-day. I don't know how to resolve this, but you are totally justified in how you feel but the hard part is that he shouldn't be calling because you're "making" him, but because he cares enough to call.


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## torani

I am so sorry, that would hurt me to. I hate to say this but, do you think he is being faithful?


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