# Wives that have frequent business travel



## worldwide

Say a wife has travelled consistently (at 25%) for the past 10-15 years. What percentage of those wives do you think have had at least one phyiscal moment on the road (i.e. at least a kiss)?


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## Entropy3000

I suppose there is some theoretical aggregate number here, but I would also say that it would depend on many other factors. 

What is the % of wives in general having some physical encouner over 10 - 15 years. I am guessing that the % goes up for those that travel. I could say the same for men.


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## lisa3girls

I have traveled most of my career and I don't see why you are certain that there must be some significant percentage that have an affair (or cheat or whatever).

Maybe I am odd, but who on earth would I cheat WITH? My co-workers? (NO!), my client? (Of course not), some stranger in the hotel bar? (no!).

I mean, when I travel, I work alot of hours and fall into the hotel bed exhausted... it isn't like I have tons of time to be prowling about for men.


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## lisa3girls

Entropy3000 said:


> I am guessing that the % goes up for those that travel. I could say the same for men.


Why?


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## Amplexor

Entropy3000 said:


> What is the % of wives in general having some physical encouner over 10 - 15 years. I am guessing that the % goes up for those that travel. I could say the same for men.


For about 10 years I was on a 75% LD travel schedule. Never, cheated, never kissed another woman never even temped. But I agree, traveling can provide a cloak of secrecy that some will take advantage of. Used to travel with a guy who would take his wedding band off as he walked down the jet-way. Must have thought he had a chance to score on the way??? I used to refer to him as a "geographical bachelor".


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## Jellybeans

It's clear you don't trust your wife since your other post as about what she wears to work and etc.

Talk to her.


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## Enchantment

I travelled frequently for the first six years that we were married before we had kids. Never once had a thought to straying - not a touch, not a kiss, nothing.

It sounds like you are having trust issues with your wife. So, why the curiosity and concern about her travelling and her mode of dress?

A spouse that cares, loves, and respects you would not have a problem being faithful while travelling on business.


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## worldwide

It is good that people are discounting co-workers. However, from a statistical standpoint I would think that for a woman there is a higher probablity of something happening with a work relationship than any other class of person, as opposed to picking someone up in a bar, craigslist, or other type of previous relationship.


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## Jellybeans

worldwide said:


> from a statistical standpoint I would think that for a woman there is a higher probablity of something happening with a work relationship than any other class of person, as opposed to picking someone up in a bar, craigslist, or other type of previous relationship.


How wrong you are. I have been w/ my company nearly a decade and would never ever hook up with anyone at my place of work (even now that I am newly single).

Again, it sounds like you do not trust your wife at work or with the people she works with.


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## worldwide

JB - I wasn't meaning to say what you said was not true. My meaning was that if you polled 100 married women that have had an affair, I would think the highest number of partners would be with males that worked at the same company or did some business with the company. So while coworkers would never be a thought to you, I think they are clearly more than a thought for many others.

Yes, I do have some trust issues and yes it is difficult to discuss. If you eliminated the people that have some sort of trust issues and the the people that have trouble talking to their spouses about difficult issues, I think this website would have much fewer members.


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## meson

I have been where you are. My wife goes on international travel for her job. She dresses nicely for work more than when she is at home. There was a time when our marriage was not so good and I had trust issues with her travel. She goes to fancy restaurants, bars and tours with the same group of people for years and at times I was jealous. This jealousy then created an environment that was more conducive to an affair. If they feel they are not trusted and there are marriage issues, then if an opportunity comes along it is easier to get drawn into it. I realized that the energy that I spent being jealous and obsessive about it was energy better put into making the relationship good in the first place. It made me feel more trusting in the end as well. My trust issues arose from my insecurity not from any real indication that there was something happening and that was the real problem.


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## Jellybeans

meson said:


> This jealousy then created an environment that was more conducive to an affair.


I totally believe that can happen. When one partner is constantly being jealous/insecure/mistrustful/accusing their partner of the worst thing ever, it really really really puts a damper on the relationship.


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## couple

Regular travel often or at least sometimes means a combination of:

-freedom
-boredom (even if you work very long hours you come home to an empty hotel room sometimes without even tv in your language
-loneliness and isolation
-culture of drinking
-often lack of support from spouse at home or at least stress in relationship and family caused by being away so much
-other business travelers or colleagues who are experiencing the same as you and can relate to the challenges of travel and/or the stresses of the assignment you are working on- where spouse can't
-(for men) culture of 'playing' while away and at least support and acceptance that it's OK or at most some level of peer pressure from other guys
-(for men) availability and ease of 'adult services' that may not be as easily available to them at home or as tempting.
-more interaction at night with others- usually you dine, drink, etc with colleagues or others you are travelling with.
-perception of at least a greater level of safety in cheating or at most a suspension of the reality of spouse and family back at home.


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## COGypsy

I personally can't imagine hooking up with someone that I work with, or while I'm around people that I work with for one very important reason--my professional reputation.

I work hard to be respected in my field. Why on earth would I risk making my achievements be subject to rumors and suppositions that they're all because of who I did on some trip or another?

In my experience too, work on travel is much longer than work in the office. Whereas I might only work 9 or 10 hours on the average day, when I'm out of town, between the actual working, the working dinners where you have to make the appearance and talk the shop talk....it's easily a 12 - 14 hour day. Bradley Cooper could be waiting naked in my bed and I'd probably tell him to pull up some couch so I could sleep!

It sounds like a lot of fun, this "work travel"....but it really isn't much of a party.


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## Craggy456

My husband has been traveling for business 10 out of the 11 yrs we've been married. In the beginning, I always did his packing/unpacking for him. I'd find tank tops and other women's clothing that didn't belong to me.

Yes, men will cheat while on business the same as women will

Oh the fun he had in the 3 months he was in Russia!


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## Entropy3000

lisa3girls said:


> Why?


Opportunity for one. Then I would think that travel in general puts an extra strain on relationships. I am sure there are many other reasons. I am an engineer. I deal with statistical analysis. I would indeed guess that this number would be higher than those who do not travel. This could be as much os fractions of a per cent. Keep in mind we are talking about many people with varying circumstances. It would have very little to do with the sample of a very small number of people. Speaking as a man I can say that the % would go up for men in general. Affairs often happen between co-workers perios. Add travel and there you go. It gets lonely on the road. Often much alcohol. People have private rooms. Their own money. My comment is statistical in nature only.


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## Entropy3000

couple said:


> Regular travel often or at least sometimes means a combination of:
> 
> -freedom
> -boredom (even if you work very long hours you come home to an empty hotel room sometimes without even tv in your language
> -loneliness and isolation
> -culture of drinking
> -often lack of support from spouse at home or at least stress in relationship and family caused by being away so much
> -other business travelers or colleagues who are experiencing the same as you and can relate to the challenges of travel and/or the stresses of the assignment you are working on- where spouse can't
> -(for men) culture of 'playing' while away and at least support and acceptance that it's OK or at most some level of peer pressure from other guys
> -(for men) availability and ease of 'adult services' that may not be as easily available to them at home or as tempting.
> -more interaction at night with others- usually you dine, drink, etc with colleagues or others you are travelling with.
> -perception of at least a greater level of safety in cheating or at most a suspension of the reality of spouse and family back at home.


Exactly.

Hey, I travel all of the time. I would not coonsider cheating for one moment. However, the environment is more codusive to this if one was so inclined. Statistics folks.


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## morituri

The only thing to make a business trip into something more, are:

1. Wife is disconnected from her husband yet extremely sexually attracted to a fellow co-worker who has been heavily flirting with her and she with him.

2. Wife is living in a sexless marriage and she opens up to one of her co-workers about her situation. OM will be working overtime to get into married woman pant's.

Anything more?


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## Entropy3000

I am thinking that conventions fall into this as well.

For those that work long hours, consider that often this brings you closer to others you work with emotionally. Sure it can have the opposite impact as well. When I fell into an EA, it was work related and the bonding had everything to do with working long hours in an intense environemnt. There was not travel related to this FWIW.

Remember, Instigation, Isolation and Escalation principles.

Travelling certainly adds to the Isolation part. So a woman would be more easily approached by another male simply because her SO is not around. I am talking about, easier for the man. Men get "Approach Anxiety" when approaching a female who may have her mate around. Again if one is so inclined travel makes this easy and relatively discrete. No one ss saying that people who travel ... cheat. Some folks seem to be offended by the suggestion that cheating can occur more often when travel is involved over the general population. We all want to impose our own experiences.

Also this was suggesting a consistant amount of travel. Frequent travel can put a strain on some marriages. Travelling 25 % is significant travel over 10 -15 years.


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## Halien

I think that people who are already immature in their marriage relationship, both men and women, might be more inclined during travel, but usually under a certain set of conditions. Like the woman I took a training class with: I never said or did anything out of the ordinary, but she seemed to 'show up' at the same restaraunt my friend and I attended. She was from another company. It was a group that seemed more rowdy to begin with. On the last night, she simply put her room card in my shirt pocket when I was pouring coffee for myself near the front desk. I gave it back.

There was another incident like this in DC, but less over the top. I value my professional reputation enough that I rarely even talk to women who are staying in the same hotel. There seemed to be a common thread in these. The marriage was dysfunctional, and in both cases, it seemed that the wife had already checked out. I think that I wouldn't even know how to flirt if I tried, but I felt like I was the one who did something wrong. My wife pointed out that I've got the kind of face that attracts homeless puppies. I think there was a bit of insult in that too. Even my rheumatologist spent 15 minutes last week talking about what to do about the leaky basement.


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## Runs like Dog

The percentage is the same, give or take, as the soccermoms and housewives who stay home.


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## Runs like Dog

The true value of the minivan is all the folding seats.


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## Entropy3000

Halien said:


> I think that people who are already immature in their marriage relationship, both men and women, might be more inclined during travel, but usually under a certain set of conditions. Like the woman I took a training class with: I never said or did anything out of the ordinary, but she seemed to 'show up' at the same restaraunt my friend and I attended. She was from another company. It was a group that seemed more rowdy to begin with. *On the last night, she simply put her room card in my shirt pocket when I was pouring coffee for myself near the front desk.* I gave it back.
> 
> There was another incident like this in DC, but less over the top. I value my professional reputation enough that I rarely even talk to women who are staying in the same hotel. There seemed to be a common thread in these. The marriage was dysfunctional, and in both cases, it seemed that the wife had already checked out. I think that I wouldn't even know how to flirt if I tried, but I felt like I was the one who did something wrong. My wife pointed out that I've got the kind of face that attracts homeless puppies. I think there was a bit of insult in that too. Even my rheumatologist spent 15 minutes last week talking about what to do about the leaky basement.


This type of action happens more than folks realize. Sometimes not as overt. Sometimes it is just making sure you know what room number they are in, in case you would like to stop by.


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## Entropy3000

Runs like Dog said:


> The true value of the minivan is all the folding seats.


Hilarious sir. :rofl:

But maybe you are onto something.


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## the guy

Just off the cuff it seems I've read more about the SAHM cheating then the working wife........IDK it seems here on TAM it leans towards the SAHM.

However it does draw to mind that it seems I've read alot at TAM about the SAHM getting a new job then cheating with a coworker, this senioro seem more previlent then most.


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## morituri

the guy said:


> Just off the cuff it seems I've read more about the SAHM cheating then the working wife........IDK it seems here on TAM it leans towards the SAHM.
> 
> However it does draw to mind that it seems I've read alot at TAM about the SAHM getting a new job then cheating with a coworker, this senioro seem more previlent then most.


At work you have men and women looking their best - more so if there is a dress code in place - and working side by side for many hours on end. Sexual tension often develops and marital boundaries begin to get crossed until an EA is born and later a PA. This happens so often that many companies HR departments are beginning to take a serious look and coming up with codes of conduct for their employees which are essentially 'don't [email protected] where you eat'.


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## Runs like Dog

You know I generally find most people at work in professional roles act professionally. Of course I work with a bunch of serious minded bastards, nerds, government types, military and high security clearance wonks.


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## the guy

M-
My cheating wife used that phrase..interesting, incouraging but interesting.

RLD-
I bet alot of Eastern Ero hotties are after you? Becareful their after your secrets!


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## Entropy3000

Runs like Dog said:


> You know I generally find most people at work in professional roles act professionally. Of course I work with a bunch of serious minded bastards, nerds, government types, military and high security clearance wonks.


I have done that much of my career. Very different crowd from business and marketing type people. When I left the environment you speak of, it was complete culture shock for me.

Maybe it has to do with accountability.


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## Runs like Dog

the guy said:


> M-
> My cheating wife used that phrase..interesting, incouraging but interesting.
> 
> RLD-
> I bet alot of Eastern Ero hotties are after you? Becareful their after your secrets!


Here's a question from an early job vetting questionnaire I had to fill out:

"Do you have any living relatives in the Soviet Union, Soviet Bloc country or Communist controlled country, a state designated an 'opponent' of the United States, or a country on the list of designated boycott, diplomatic de-vetting, or ITAR prohibited nations according to the definitions established by the US State Dept at the time of this questionnaire"

Answers were: Yes, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes.

Keep in mind they so much care WHAT your answer so long as you tell them the truth. They unsealed my juvenile criminal record which is kind of against the law. They also did a background check out of the country since I'm not native born. Believe me, there's NO secrets.


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## Runs like Dog

Entropy3000 said:


> Maybe it has to do with accountability.


Industrial espionage is officially within the charter of the French Direction Générale de la Sécurité Extérieure (General Directorate for External Security) and a few other similar organizations - so accountability is a gray area.


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## Runs like Dog

Anna Chapman admitted working for the SVR foreign intelligence service or the GRU military intelligence. Honeypots are older than the Bible.


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