# Won�t do unprotected or oral



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

*Won’t do unprotected or oral*

40 year old male here, been married for 17 years, recently we started talking about past sexual partners and experiences we had prior to meeting, I didn’t like some of her answers...

I actually know a few of her past partners and I don’t like them either, then while researching the issue I discovered that everyone an individual has been with, their DNA stays inside that person.

Now, I view her as kinda damaged goods.
I can’t and won’t do oral on her, and right now I not even have sex with protection.

I’m the only one to ever feel this way ?


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Their DNA stays inside the person?? WHERE?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

OP, I think your view is irrational, and damaging to you and your relationship.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Don’t wanna be irrational, really I don’t.

But who in their right mind wants a woman who you know others already enjoyed.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

User,

A more important question is does your W still see these ex partners, or have them on facebook or other social media or do they communicate with her in any way. Do they still have mutual friends or contacts. 

The only way the OMs DNA will get to you is if the OM gave her HPV or Hepatitis and she is a carrier and it's transferred to you. Even then it's virus DNA or RNA if its a retrovirus lol.

Another question you might want to ask is did she do anything with these OM she refuses to do or never did with you.

Tamat


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

User,

Another important question is did she present herself to you as a virgin or claim only to have kissed. If so then she has lied to you for a long long time and you might not ever view her the same as a result.

Tamat


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I get what you are saying. Hearing your SO tell you that others loved putting it in their butt, doing this and that, takes a hit to your ego. But she's not with him anymore. She's with you. She's your sl*t now. That's how you have to think about this. Her body is yours. Your body is hers. Also, if she wasn't this experienced, she wouldn't be fun. Trust me, my ex wife was a virgin when I met her and our sex life was pathetic. Non existent. I'd much rather have an experienced woman that wants my **** every night in any hole that I prefer. Man up and get your head together. You got this.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I was a virgin when i met my husband... He got me first and no other has had me, but that does not make me any better, that someone who has had 10-20 partners. 

I think you got some insecurities...she is not the problem. it is you. To expect an UNTOUCHED woman in this day an age, you might as well move to the middle east or india.... That is some ownership thought mentality. Women are not territory to be marked.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

No, I knew she had a past...

Didn’t know that 7 others had ejaculated in her though.

No, she hasn’t had any contact with any of them, that I know of. 

But, I won’t touch her anymore, nor would I touch any other woman with a past ever again.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Are you for real? If so, you need to see a shrink. You have issues man. Please, for your mental stability, go see a professional and get this figured out.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

x


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No, I knew she had a past...
> 
> Didn’t know that 7 others had ejaculated in her though.
> 
> ...


Do both of you a favor. File for divorce tomorrow. Free her to be with someone who does not hold her in contempt. Free her to be with someone who cherishes her and loves what she has to offer and doesn't care how she got to be the fabulous person that she is.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No, I knew she had a past...
> 
> Didn’t know that 7 others had ejaculated in her though.
> 
> ...


Send her here, not only so we can reassure her that she's the sane one in the marriage, but so that we can give her pointers on getting out of that marriage.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No, I knew she had a past...
> 
> Didn’t know that 7 others had ejaculated in her though.
> 
> ...


are you seriously FOR REAL? 

Question...How many holes have you dipped your stick into? How tainted is YOUR ROD? Our female (Resepticles) are self cleaning. Their ejaculate does not get left behind anymore than skank taint stays on your wick! 

You have problems and don't belong with anyone.... Honestly.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Don’t wanna be irrational, really I don’t.
> 
> But who in their right mind wants a woman who you know others already enjoyed.


A pretty big segment of the population does.


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No, I knew she had a past...
> 
> Didn’t know that 7 others had ejaculated in her though.
> 
> ...


Then you can expect an eventual divorce...and a lonely existence.

Not sure where you live, but if you live anywhere besides a Muslim country, wind up free of this M, are 40 and out on the prowl for women sometime down the road, GOOD LUCK finding many female virgins in that 25 to 40 YO dating range that you will be in. 

Whatever she did prior to your marriage is part of what made her the woman and wife she is. If she is a good wife and woman to you, then you need to fix this hang-up. Even moreso if you have kids.

My suggestion is to get some counseling, lose the ****ty attitude and focus on the good woman you've got.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I think you have been married 17 years and are now grasping at straws. My bet is that you were mildly or greatly unsatisfied before, and now that you know this you are fixated. You want out? Ask for a divorce....go find your untainted 12 year old and go to jail for being a predator because that is what this fixation with being untouched could lead to.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

40 years old, LOL. 

Won't ever touch a woman who has had sex before, LOL. 

You're gonna love celibacy, haha.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I’m a bad person because I don’t want used ***** ?
> I don’t think I need help as you all claim, I think I should have found out before I married her.
> Then I wouldn’t be here!


Did you ask her before? Did she lie? She NEVER CLAIMED VIRGINITY. you are only complaining because EGO is dinged knowing who she was with and the number. These are abitrary and ABOUT YOU AND HOW YOU VIEW YOURSELF. not her. 

7 is not so great a number, and I think you do need LOADS OF THERAPY. You see her as dirty...what kind of values and upbringing do you have to view her as such after 17 years? 

Is she the mother of your children? Is she not the person who has nursed you through ill health? 

Is she not the person who has stood beside you for 17 years? 

I bet she is a good woman, and you are petty. This is a PETTY matter.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Winter break must be starting.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

A couple of thousand years ago some people believe that a woman gave birth and she had never been with a man.
Is that what you are looking for.
Head towards Bethlehem on December twenty fourth,keep an eye out for a bright star in the sky.
Oh and watch for camels,if you see three men on camels you will know you are in the right place.
Good luck!


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

If you didn't ask back then, then it didn't really mean that much to you 17 years ago, did it? 

What is different now?

Or are you looking to find some strange and get out of this marriage? And this is just a good excuse?


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Tron said:


> If you didn't ask back then, then it didn't really mean that much to you 17 years ago, did it?
> 
> What is different now?
> 
> Or are you looking to find some strange and get out of this marriage? And this is just a good excuse?


That is exactly what i asked a bit ago. I think the same thing. He wants an excuse to do something bad. I bet he has another woman or something. MAYBE A VIRGIN! haha...


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

User,

I think many here are trying to impose a Western Secular viewpoint on you, it's just what they think of as normal or progressive or something like that. You have your own reasons and they may be perfectly valid in your own cultural or personal context whatever that may be. 

Tamat


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Sorry I bothered you all. Thought I might get some real answers other than bashed.

I’ll try other forum’s


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

im A CHICK and my parents were married, So correct term would be biotch. and by the way i was referring that generally speaking statistically 12 years old is reasonably assured to be untouched. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SAID YOU WOULD NOT TOUCH A WOMAN WITH A HISTORY AGAIN. 

you are the one limiting the dating pool. not me. Don't attack. As much as it feels we are attacking you we are actually trying to help you. you just dont like the answer. 

You are irrational, rational thinking feels like an attack.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

You will get the same advice there. Many of us are on up to ten forums relating to sex in marriage and marriage.... So yeah, good luck, happy hunting on finding people to validate you.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

I’ll delete my login account.

I don’t want a dirty woman and nobody really gets it.


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## Ghost Rider (Mar 6, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> 40 year old male here, been married for 17 years, recently we started talking about past sexual partners and experiences we had prior to meeting, I didn’t like some of her answers...
> 
> I actually know a few of her past partners and I don’t like them either, then while researching the issue I discovered that *everyone an individual has been with, their DNA stays inside that person.
> *
> ...


Probably. I can't believe anyone would actually believe this crap. I feel sorry for your wife. It must be difficult to have such an ignorant and judgmental husband.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Your wife is not dirty, you just got a problem with her history. Don't delete, Maybe we can ask you about your past. What was your upbringing? Are you from america? Europe? 

What is your sexual past? 

Lets not focus on her right now. Maybe we can help you in other ways.


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Sorry I bothered you all. Thought I might get some real answers other than bashed.
> 
> I’ll try other forum’s


We didn't bash you. You got real answers. It just isn't what you wanted to hear.

So you got defensive. 

You don't even want to think about why you feel this way. Why you want something...pure?

It is a fantasy. 

Time to wake up.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Sadly, OP, you're dirty now too. If you've ever had unprotected sex (and even if you haven't), it's likely that you've been exposed to diseases and viruses, some of which never exhibit symptoms, or may cause cancer years or decades later. I do hope you reveal that you're damaged goods, if you ever reenter the dating market.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

No I haven’t had unprotected sex with anyone other than her, I’m from America yes, state of New York.
I had 8 partners before her all protected.

Why is it all women want oral?
To me it’s unclean


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No, I knew she had a past...
> 
> Didn’t know that 7 others had ejaculated in her though.
> 
> ...


The big questions is did SHE know she was marrying someone with such backward attitudes about sexuality? I genuinely feel for this poor person. Her.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Not wanting to be mean, but.... almost everyone.

Most people don't end up marrying virgins. Its OK if this matters to you but the time to discuss it is BEFORE you are married. 

Did you specifically ask her? Most people will assume that their partners are not virgins unless there is some specific reason to think otherwise. 







User21 said:


> Don’t wanna be irrational, really I don’t.
> 
> But who in their right mind wants a woman who you know others already enjoyed.


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Before the wedding is when you get to decide you want a virgin, not after. 

You have been married 17 years and now are upset she wasn't a virgin?

Sad

Get help.

You are not being fair to her.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No I haven’t had unprotected sex with anyone other than her, I’m from America yes, state of New York.
> I had 8 partners before her all protected.
> 
> Why is it all women want oral?
> To me it’s unclean


I don't like oral. All women do not LIKE it, some do and some don't. Maybe the ones you have encountered.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



TAMAT said:


> User,
> 
> I think many here are trying to impose a Western Secular viewpoint on you, it's just what they think of as normal or progressive or something like that. You have your own reasons and they may be perfectly valid in your own cultural or personal context whatever that may be.
> 
> Tamat


To consider a human being some word that needs to be asterisked out as vulgar or profane because she is a female who has dared to have sex? I challenge that whole damned culture as sick.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



threelittlestars said:


> im A CHICK and my parents were married, So correct term would be biotch. and by the way i was referring that generally speaking statistically 12 years old is reasonably assured to be untouched. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT SAID YOU WOULD NOT TOUCH A WOMAN WITH A HISTORY AGAIN.
> 
> you are the one limiting the dating pool. not me. Don't attack. As much as it feels we are attacking you we are actually trying to help you. you just dont like the answer.
> 
> You are irrational, rational thinking feels like an attack.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I’ll delete my login account.
> 
> I don’t want a dirty woman and nobody really gets it.


Curious. How many partners did you have? Because they were not men that ejaculated inside you, does that somehow make you clean? Would it have made a difference if her partners has pulled out?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Look some people are reacting out of surprise / shock. 

You have to understand that you attitude is extremely unusual in western countries. Starting from scratch, that would be find - you could let women you are dating know that virginity is very important to you, and you could have found a virgin.

But now you have been married 17 years. I'm sorry but this is the wrong time to bring this up. 

You can ask for a divorce - I support divorce any time either member of a marriage is deeply unhappy. I can't see how either of you could be happy with such a limited sex life. 

Afterwards though things will be difficult. At your age you are very unlikely to find a virgin (which in the west usually implies young) who will want an older man. Its possible, but it will be difficult.








User21 said:


> Sorry I bothered you all. Thought I might get some real answers other than bashed.
> 
> I’ll try other forum’s


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Seems a lot of men who have this need for virgin/near virgin women have a deep seated fear of being compared unfavorably to other men. 

I mean, really? 17 year old jizz still inside your wife? That's a new one to me. 

What's the real source of your outrage after 17 years of marriage? What are you leaving out?


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

So, everyone is agreeing that most men like used *****, and putting their mouth where others had their ****....

That’s how I see it


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Lol

Not wanting a Virgin by no means....
Just don’t want to have sex with any woman that’s had unprotected sex.


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## Ghost Rider (Mar 6, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> So, everyone is agreeing that most men like used *****, and putting their mouth where others had their ****....
> 
> That’s how I see it


It's not like it's fresh. Why was this not an issue for you 17 years ago?


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> So, everyone is agreeing that most men like used *****, and putting their mouth where others had their ****....
> 
> That’s how I see it


NO I don't like sloppy seconds but

after 17 years methinks the coast is clear


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



zookeeper said:


> 17 year old jizz still inside your wife?


It's nearly old enough to vote.

And I suspect older than the OP.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

I was a stupid kid 17 years ago


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## Ghost Rider (Mar 6, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Now you're a stupid adult.


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Ghost Rider said:


> Now you're a stupid adult.


LOL!

Or he just likes the way used ***** looks on the screen.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I promise you. Semen does not remain in a woman's vagina or mouth for 17 years. 15 years maybe, but no way 17.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Ghost Rider said:


> It's not like it's fresh. Why was this not an issue for you 17 years ago?


My bet is she made the mistake of telling him a previous man was either bigger or better at something.


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> 40 year old male here, been married for 17 years, recently we started talking about past sexual partners and experiences we had prior to meeting, I didn’t like some of her answers...
> 
> I actually know a few of her past partners and I don’t like them either, then while researching the issue I discovered that everyone an individual has been with, their DNA stays inside that person.
> 
> ...


So someone's DNA hangs around. In the course of a normal day, you contact the DNA of hundreds of people by way of touching your wallet, car door handles, keyboards on computers, etc.

My current SO has had some 15 or so previous intimate partners...not a large quantity for someone her agew who's only been married once for a few years...and not much different from my own number. I've met a few of her ex's and they range from immature to manipulative, and none of them is like me. She acknowledges that I'm not the sort she'd normally go for, but I have been an amazing surprise in both the good and bad departments. Therefore, I'm pleased to be the different one, as it gives hope for a long future - and for now, it means that, even at our advanced ages, we are both learning things we never knew we needed to learn.

In the sex department, having had as many partners as I've had, I'll tell you this - many women are incapable of telllng you what they need in bed. They assume you can read their minds. If you have a partner who is willing and able to tell you what she wants sexually, then treasure the gift you have and please her.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Well, I guess you're not going to find another relationship if you end this one. Finding a woman who has never had unprotected sex and is otherwise compatible, will likely be impossible. It's your choice, of course, but it seems very self-limiting.


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Maybe hang out at the mall with Roy Moore.

He's got some free time ahead of him


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



zookeeper said:


> I promise you. Semen does not remain in a woman's vagina or mouth for 17 years. 15 years maybe, but no way 17.


I 2nd that. Most I've ever seen was 15.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Sorry I bothered you all. Thought I might get some real answers other than bashed.
> 
> I’ll try other forum’s


I hear Roy Moore's website might have some advice on finding virgins. You might want to check there.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Its not pleasant, but the air is full of tiny droplets of spit, skin flakes etc. When you flush a toilet a cloud of toilet water droplets, including urine and tiny feces particles floats into the air. If you have touched a doorknob, its likely it has a tiny bit of saliva from other people on it - if you don't wash carefully, you will eat that with your next meal.

If you think hard about it, life is gross. You are constantly eating and inhaling bits of other people. 

I have a bit of a cleanliness fetish, but even so I manage to just not think about it. The alternative is to go completely crazy.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I’ll delete my login account.
> 
> I don’t want a dirty woman and nobody really gets it.


Nah, not really, we all get it. It is just your definition of "dirty" is pretty whacked.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



zookeeper said:


> I promise you. Semen does not remain in a woman's vagina or mouth for 17 years. 15 years maybe, but no way 17.


No man, it depends, what if she doesn't brush her teeth? or bath? I mean in those circumstances- who knows, right?


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## Ghost Rider (Mar 6, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Steve1000 said:


> I 2nd that. Most I've ever seen was 15.


I've seen 15 years and 3 days.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Ynot said:


> No man, it depends, what if she doesn't brush her teeth? or bath? I mean in those circumstances- who knows, right?


Look, she had sex without a condom. She is by definition a used-up, worthless, polluted **** with no possible hope of ever being valued by a man again. Surely one of the next dozen anonymous rods that went in her the next week would have swabbed the old jizz out, right?

Wait a minute. They would have left more, requiring additional ****s, resulting in yet more jizz, needing further ****s...

Good God! The OP was right! She could go supernova at any moment! No one is safe! Apocalypse is upon us! The living will envy the dead!


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> So, everyone is agreeing that most men like used *****, and putting their mouth where others had their ****....
> 
> That’s how I see it


Actually most people see human sexuality as completely normal. Most people see women as PEOPLE who engage in sexuality as part of their lives not objects to be liked based on whether or not they are being bought new or used.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



zookeeper said:


> Look, she had sex without a condom. She is by definition a used-up, worthless, polluted **** with no possible hope of ever being valued by a man again. Surely one of the next dozen anonymous rods that went in her the next week would have swabbed the old jizz out, right?
> 
> Wait a minute. They would have left more, requiring additional ****s, resulting in yet more jizz, needing further ****s...
> 
> Good God! The OP was right! She could go supernova at any moment! No one is safe! Apocalypse is upon us! The living will envy the dead!


More like a black hole, swallowing all the jizz in the universe. The Op may have discovered anti-matter!


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Ynot said:


> More like a black hole, swallowing all the jizz in the universe. The Op may have discovered anti-matter!


Can't wait for Neil deGrasse Tyson to dumb that down for me.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No I haven’t had unprotected sex with anyone other than her, I’m from America yes, state of New York.
> I had 8 partners before her all protected.
> 
> Why is it all women want oral?
> To me it’s unclean


What does protected mean? Protected from what? Pregnancy? Condoms are not the only way to protect against pregnancy. Sharing bodily fluids? Hell kissing shares bodily fluids.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

User21 said:


> So, everyone is agreeing that most men like used *****, and putting their mouth where others had their ****....
> 
> That’s how I see it


This is funny.

You know, that unless you were born via c section, that your whole body was once covered!! by an " unprotected" vagina-- your mother's. How can anyone kiss your or touch you? You yourself are unclean!


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I've read about a third of this thread. I feel dirty and used


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No, I knew she had a past...
> 
> Didn’t know that 7 others had ejaculated in her though.
> 
> ...





User21 said:


> I’ll delete my login account.
> 
> I don’t want a dirty woman and nobody really gets it.


Dear deleted account who will never read this.

I have read the same study that says, especially women who give birth will carry some o(very tiny fraction) of the fathers DNA forever after in their blood stream, but it will not change the vast majority of their DNA. It is sort a long lasting remnant of pregnancy they carry from the child's DNA.

I think that you are over reacting, to put it mildly.

My view is that if you love someone enough to marry them, you need to accept them for who they are. Marriage is about commitment to working through things. It is about you forsaking other women for her. About her forsaking all other men for you.

As Dr David Schnarch says, marriage is the hardest thing two people can do, if they do it right. It is about two emotionally different people coming together and working together to emotional become one single nuclear family unit.

Clearly even after 17 years of "marriage," you aren't there.

May you find the advice you need so your wife finds true happineas.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Ynot said:


> More like a black hole, swallowing all the jizz in the universe. The Op may have discovered anti-matter!


And black holes form after a super nova occurs..... It's all starting to make sense.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I only clicked on this thread to laugh at all the people replying. Thanks, I needed that.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No I haven’t had unprotected sex with anyone other than her, I’m from America yes, state of New York.
> I had 8 partners before her all protected.
> 
> Why is it all women want oral?
> To me it’s unclean


Unless you have spoken to all women, then your statement cannot be correct.

Some women do, some don't.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

What do you mean by "unclean." Do you mean in the Biblical sense? 

If the answer is yes, even Salmon married Rahab, who was a prostitute. She is considered a righteous woman for her role in helping the Jews take Jericho, and no one held her past against her.

David married Abigail, who had been previously married. Another wife, Bathsheba had a husband when David called her to his chamber and impregnated her. David did not consider Abigail or Bathsheba "unclean" and David himself was reprimanded by Samuel and punished by God for taking poor Uriah's only beloved possession, his wife, when he (David) had the pick of all the single women to take as additional wives or concubines. (Which was the custom in that day for many cultures, not just the Jews.)

Hosea's wife Gomer left him and slept with other men. God told Hosea to take her back and love her.

If you are attempting to judge her using a Biblical basis, you are off base and unsupported.

By "unclean" do you mean physically dirty? In that case, all the semen from previous men left her body 17 years ago. Her vagina is constantly secreting fluids that flow out of her body to "clean" itself. All remnants of previous men were long gone when you married her.

What is the real reason you are wanting to reject your wife? It sounds like you are fabricating excuses to condemn and reject her.

Wait. It just occurred to me that you may be experiencing a real phenomena called "Retroactive Jealousy." It is when a person becomes jealous many years after the fact. It is not rooted in reality however, because there is actually nothing to be jealous about, since you already knew about her past lovers and you were OK with her past when you married her.

Are you experiencing stress, insecurity or other issues in your own life? Those issues could be playing a part in your jealousy. If you deal with those issues, the jealousy will fade.


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Don’t wanna be irrational, really I don’t.
> 
> But who in their right mind wants a woman who you know others already enjoyed.


While I do not like it, I get when virgin zealots of either gender hold this view. You had sexual experiences, don't be an irrational hypocrite over things you read on the internet. 
I want to say something asinine, but I like my posting privileges. So, let me ask, after 17 years of all the DNA floating around in you already, why is it an issue today? 
Are you getting the over the hill mid life crisis blues when you hit 40 and you are trying to find an excuse to leave?


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



WorkingOnMe said:


> I only clicked on this thread to laugh at all the people replying. Thanks, I needed that.




Me too!! Where’s that popcorn GIF when you need it? Hahaaaa!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



anonmd said:


> I've read about a third of this thread. I feel dirty and used


I've read the whole thread and almost snorted coffee out my nose from laughter >


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Alright everyone 

For the ones that tried to help, thank you.

The next woman I’m with, I just won’t ask any history details


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

*Moderator message*

Please remember the posting rules, folks.


----------



## Ghost Rider (Mar 6, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> The next woman I’m with, I just won’t ask any history details


I really hope you just decide to stay with your wife, and be good to her, and treat her nicely and without judgment.

She really doesn't deserve this ****.

Or, on second thought, if you leave her, although it may hurt for her in the short run, she may well be better off in the long run.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

@User21



User21 said:


> Alright everyone
> 
> For the ones that tried to help, thank you.
> 
> The next woman I’m with, I just won’t ask any history details


Is it possible that you might be germophobic? A lot of people are.

I obviously don't know where you saw the information about the DNA remaining in someone, but I'd have to say I doubt if that was correct, so please stop worrying.

There are counselling courses available for helping people with an over-developed fear of germs, might be worthwhile looking for one.

I wish you and your wife the very best.


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

User21,

I'm sorry for the name calling, and while I don't agree with everything you wrote, there's also much in what you wrote which underlies the insecurities of many men. 

Did you feel during your marriage that your W was less into you than she could have been or that you were not her type or something like that. Did your W ever have an emotional or physical affair during your marriage, or did you see red flags only for your W to deny.

Tamat


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Araucaria said:


> ......By "unclean" do you mean physically dirty? In that case, all the semen from previous men left her body 17 years ago. Her vagina is constantly secreting fluids that flow out of her body to "clean" itself. All remnants of previous men were long gone when you married her....


I am into DNA genealogy. This is actually a hot topic in the field and you are so very wrong, based on modern science.

For your education.

DNA From Sperm Of Ex Partners Lingers In Female Flies And Influences The Genetics Of Her Offspring



> ....When a woman breaks up with a man, she usually wants every remnant of him removed from her life. A new study suggests that, try as she might, there may be one last piece of him that she’s stuck with for good: his DNA. A study from Australia has managed to prove that fly offspring are able to resemble a mother’s previous sexual partner, even when conceived with their father’s sperm.
> 
> The idea of telegony, or previous mates influencing a woman’s offspring, has been around for centuries. It was first proposed by the Greek philosopher Aristotle and was accepted as science until the early 1900s when it was disproved and replaced by more modern genetic theory, according to the study's press release. Unfortunately, the theory was largely used as a fear tactic to prevent women from copulating with different races or lower classes, but the study suggests the theory may have some elements of truth — for flies, at least.


https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/babys-cells-can-manipulate-moms-body-decades-180956493/



> Mothers around the world say they feel like their children are still a part of them long after they’ve given birth. As it turns out, that is literally true. During pregnancy, cells from the fetus cross the placenta and enter the mother’s body, where they can become part of her tissues....


https://geneticliteracyproject.org/2014/10/21/women-carry-fetal-dna-long-after-childrens-birth/




> Named after the part goat, part dragon, part lion of Greek mythology called Chimera, the modern genetic phenomenon is known by the same term. And just as chimerism was once thought to be an impossibility, scientists are now finding its far more common than they originally thought. Most women, and not just moms, carry someone else’s DNA within them.
> 
> Side note here: Chimerism is almost exclusively studied in women because they have two X chromosomes. By looking for the genetic signature of the male Y chromosome in women, researchers can reliably say that DNA does not originate from this woman, thus identifying a chimera.


Live and learn!


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



MattMatt said:


> @User21
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The information and the DNA studies of real women with YDNA in their blood confirms this is true.


----------



## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Some studies say external germs and bacteria make us more resistant to diseases. Kids that grow up without pets or play in very clean areas have more allergies than say farm kids that have pets and farm animals. Most farm kids drink well water that is not chlorinated.

As a matter of fact there are more bacteria in your body than cells that make up your body. without good bacteria you wouldn't be able to properly digest your food.

Children born by "C" section have more health issues than children born vaginally. 

Maybe some but not all of the gooey stuff makes us stronger and healthier.

I dipped my wick several times and it seems to be OK.

OTH contracting an STI isn't good, but I assume your W never had a long term STI.

To me you are worried psychologically over something that has no influence on you.

Is seman in a woman (no pregnancy) was bad for the survival of humans, it would have killed off a lot of people by now. I think the population is increasing at a fast pace in several countries, so i don't see the problem that you think you have.


----------



## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> 40 year old male here, been married for 17 years, recently we started talking about past sexual partners and experiences we had prior to meeting, I didn’t like some of her answers...
> 
> I actually know a few of her past partners and I don’t like them either, then while researching the issue I discovered that everyone an individual has been with, their DNA stays inside that person.
> 
> ...




- If you're that worried about her past lovers, both of you get checked for STD's. Then she can go on birth control and you can wear condoms. But after both getting checked and the results are zero STD's, and you're married and faithful with each other, this should be a non issue.


- Her past is her past, just like your past is your past.


- After being married to her for 17 years, you still have issues with her past lovers? I'd say you need counseling.

*
- Before you got married, you should of talked about each others past lovers. Mrs.CuddleBug and I did and we both got checked before having regular unprotected sex.*


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Do remember that most of the DNA in your body isn't human at all. Mostly bacteria and viruses.


----------



## Rhubarb (Dec 1, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I’ll delete my login account.
> 
> I don’t want a dirty woman and nobody really gets it.


No problem. It was entertaining while it lasted. LOL!


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I actually know a few of her past partners and I don’t like them either, then while researching the issue I discovered that everyone an individual has been with, their DNA stays inside that person.


That's...that's not how that works.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Fozzy said:


> That's...that's not how that works.


You might want to update your biology 101.

Actually, that is now hotly debated, Women have XX DNA and yet in some DNA tests of women small fractions of Y-DNA is found.

One early theory was that the Y DNA was from a male child born by the woman. After extensive studies it was found that some women who had never born male children or any children had some Y DNA in their blood. This lead to speculation that maybe there was a male fetus that miscarried and the woman somehow didn't realize what happened (really?) that was the source of the Y DNA. Still having a male child will in some women show detectable amounts of the male child (hence father's) Y-DNA.

So more research is being done and in other species, male "sperm" Y-DNA is sometimes found within the female before fertilization. 

It is kind of an exciting new field of research, that has only come about through modern DNA testing.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Oh well, I’m done with her.

Seems to me that the majority (99.9%) of the population doesn’t have any issues with knowing their partners have been with others.
Well then, how are you a couple ?

Why do I think so different than everybody, i have no clue.

I’ll do celibacy before I change why way of thinking.


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Oh well, I’m done with her.
> 
> Seems to me that the majority (99.9%) of the population doesn’t have any issues with knowing their partners have been with others.[/quote
> Hahahahaha.... You are part of the 99.9%.
> ...


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Well when you want to be right you want to be right... 

To be honest (no an attack) observer, you are the one who has the emotional and mental aptitude of gnat if you are done with your wife over this. Just wait till your kids, and family hear this. YOU WILL HAVE ZERO SUPPORT... 

but you know what? You dont really deserve any. I dont see any support from you for your wife. 

Im done trying to help... You have no shame for your words and actions. YOU think your wife should be shamed... no it's your behavior that is disgusting me. Im going to raise my children to not have fixation of purity and cleanliness to this degree. It is not healthy.... 

I honestly hope you divorce and stay celibate.... You dont deserve a partner if you view her like a waste resepticle. 

Any yes... YOU ARE UNREASONABLE


----------



## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Oh well, I’m done with her.
> 
> Seems to me that the majority (99.9%) of the population doesn’t have any issues with knowing their partners have been with others.
> Well then, how are you a couple ?
> ...



I think most partners don't really want to dwell on their partners historical sex lives. But most also realize that some things are just ridiculous to worry about. 

Do you get scared for your life everytime you get into your car because of the %% chances of a car accident? Or do you just live your damn life and move forward? Do you worry about e-coli everytime you eat lettuce because of a old e-coli scare that was found on lettuce... or do you just *LIVE YOUR DAMN LIFE*

The human body is constantly rebuilding cells and shedding skin. "_As do other parts of your body: colon cells, for instance, refresh after only four days, and you get an entirely new skin every 2-3 weeks."_ 
*ALSO*
Your partner has her period every month and flushes everything out down there...

In 17 years you have 204 occurrences of a vaginal flush (period) and 442 cycles of a freshly built skin. Basically you need to give it up man. * Your problems are all in your head.*

Its been 17 damn years man... what.the.***


----------



## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Also, you clearly came to this forum for validation of your feelings but can clearly see that you are the odd one out.

*(1)* You can use this moment now for some introspective and take it as an awaking moment... Or *(2) *you can huff-and-puff and try to find somewhere else to validate your feelings. I really hope you go with option *1*

Unless, option* (3) *- you have just been finding a way out of this marriage and this is your golden (albeit quite silly) reason why


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

How am I being unreasonable??

Isn’t everyone entitled their beliefs. I can’t have sex with her anymore, that’s my choice.

There is a lot of middle aged very attractive women out there, but, I view them all as being used goods, dirty, unclean, etc etc...
At least the ones that have had unprotected sex, which I’m sure is 100% of them.

It seems that’s the way of the world anymore.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

You guys can actually say that it doesn’t bother you that someone else ejacu1ated inside your SO’s body !


----------



## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> You guys can actually say that it doesn’t bother you that someone else ejacu1ated inside your SO’s body !


If i obsess about it, and think about it.. then yes.
If i chalk it up to 'her past' then i stop thinking about it.



And everyone is entitled to their beliefs... but what about the terrorists that kill innocent lives..should they pursue their beliefs? 

Or can we all agree that some beliefs are silly, stupid, unrealistic, dangerous, and/or bad for human development. Its called extremism, and i think, on this topic, you are there.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Sounds like a conversation you should’ve had roughly 17 years ago.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> 40 year old male here, been married for 17 years, recently we started talking about past sexual partners and experiences we had prior to meeting, I didn’t like some of her answers...
> 
> I actually know a few of her past partners and I don’t like them either, then while researching the issue I discovered that everyone an individual has been with, their DNA stays inside that person.
> 
> ...


*Please rest assured that any foreign DNA from another person that has entered your body goes away in the due course of time!*


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> You guys can actually say that it doesn’t bother you that someone else ejacu1ated inside your SO’s body !


Pssst


Your dad ejaculated inside your mom's body, and now she's unclean.

Merry Christmas!


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> How am I being unreasonable??
> 
> Isn’t everyone entitled their beliefs.


Yes.
Just like I am am entitled to my belief you are being silly and inflammatory.




> It seems that’s the way of the world anymore.


Only your world dude. You both had sex outside of marriage and in many cultures, religions and beliefs you are as equally unclean as her, protection or not


----------



## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Young at Heart said:


> I am into DNA genealogy. This is actually a hot topic in the field and you are so very wrong, based on modern science.
> 
> For your education.
> 
> ...


Thank you for caring about me enough to enlightening me. :wink2:

Just so you know, I don't take stock in the latest proclamations of the self-proclaimed "experts" in white coats. I'm slow to jump onto the bandwagon. For me it will take years of proof until I will believe it.

Here is just the tip of the iceberg as to why.
https://www.livescience.com/32051-greatest-scientific-mistakes.html

I also remember when scientists said that eating cholesterol raised one's cholesterol. People were encouraged to stop eating eggs, real butter (eat margarine instead! ) stop eating real sugar, but use Saccharin! Oh I remember the Splenda ads..."It comes from sugar!" I didn't eat Splenda. No way was I going to be a guinea pig. Now the truth is out.

There are countless different areas of our lives where scientists have made claims and then quietly backed out of the room when new real life data (sick and diseased people, or Mount Saint Helens in the case of geological and natural evolution) present enough proof to show that their initial claims were false.

I do not believe that human DNA enters a woman's body through her vaginal or uterine tissue and changes the DNA in the eggs that she was born with. A female's eggs are comprised of various combinations of her own mother and father's DNA. Prior lover's DNA doesn't go in and alter her undeveloped eggs, adding his DNA into their chains. How can any logical person believe that malarky.

Flies are a far cry from other created higher life forms. Their simple DNA and relatively short span between generations are the very reasons scientists like to study them. One can see changes over multiple generations in a short period of time. More than likely there are a lot more basic differences in them, including their ability to alter their own DNA. I don't know the answer to this question, but is a female fly hatched with all the eggs it will ever have or are their eggs, including the DNA in those eggs, forming throughout their reproductive life? Men aren't born with all the sperm they will ever have. Possibly, something could happen to the cells that produces their sperm, which could introduce new DNA. Not so with a female human.

Scientists are merely observers. All the information is out there, we just don't understand it. Sometimes they make mistakes in their interpretation of how things work.

If I had been a child when the Peid Piper of Hamelin came to town, I wouldn't have been one of the children to follow him.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> You guys can actually say that it doesn’t bother you that someone else ejacu1ated inside your SO’s body !


That is indeed my view, as long as it was before she and I were in a serious relationship and as long as I knew how many men she had had before me.

Virginity is highly over-rated. Right now I am a 68 year old man. That means I have been having sex with women for over 5 decades. I have leaned a lot about what I like, my sexuality and how to pleasure a woman in those 50+ years. Having sex with a virgin who has no idea of her sexuality, how she can use her body to please a man, is not appealing.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Araucaria said:


> Thank you for caring about me enough to enlightening me. :wink2:
> 
> Just so you know, I don't take stock in the latest proclamations of the self-proclaimed "experts" in white coats. I'm slow to jump onto the bandwagon. For me it will take years of proof until I will believe it....
> 
> ...


Yes, Scientists are observers. Yes, flies are different in many respects, but findings through lab results of small quantities of male Y-dna in women is fact. it has been demonstrated over and over. How the Y-DNA got there is not yet completely understood.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> You guys can actually say that it doesn’t bother you that someone else ejacu1ated inside your SO’s body !


Sure can. 

l married a Certified Clean (TM) woman, and I am on record as wishing she'd been interested in taking that thing out for a few more defilings before me.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Oh well, I’m done with her.
> 
> Seems to me that the majority (99.9%) of the population doesn’t have any issues with knowing their partners have been with others.
> Well then, how are you a couple ?
> ...


I really do not care about that.

Are you the same person you were as a child?

Most of you isn't. Skin renews itself old skin sloughs off so you are the same, but different.


----------



## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I actually know a few of her past partners and I don’t like them either, then while researching the issue I discovered that everyone an individual has been with, their DNA stays inside that person.


https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/...-brains-where-does-it-come-from/#4da52b917459

OP

Are you referring to the article that has been circulating late summer? 

As you can read there's not much proof of the actual claims, and more studies need to be done but really it's pretty dumb to think about it. Reducing your wife to such mindless , meaninglessness thoughts after all this time. 




Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


----------



## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> There is a lot of middle aged very attractive women out there, but, I view them all as being used goods, dirty, unclean, etc etc... At least the ones that have had unprotected sex, which I’m sure is 100% of them.


You are just as "used, dirty and unclean" as they are according to your logic.

:surprise:


----------



## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Suspicious1 said:


> Reducing your wife to such mindless , meaninglessness thoughts after all this time.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is what bothers me the most about the OP. Nevermind that this woman has given him nearly 2 decades of loyalty and love. She has bore and raised his children (I assume). Nursed him through sickness, celebrated anniversaries and holidays and personal achievements.. only for him to SUDDENLY decide she is no good and used up. 

OP- It's not HER fault you never asked her if her prior encounters were protected or not. I don't buy that it is suddenly so important to you. Quite frankly, I'm more inclined to believe you may be looking for an out of your marriage and are scraping the bottom of the barrel to find a legitimate reason for leaving a good woman. 

My advice- let her go. Let her know you are taking a 17+ year old dive back into the past and suddenly find yourself unable to cope with the fact that she really, truly, horribly was not a virgin after all. Ya know, even after she had told you she wasn't from the get go. Because you have yet to say a single bad thing about her (past sexual experiences do not make her a bad person), my guess is she'll have no problem finding a more mature, respectful man to feel whatever void you may be leaving her with.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Lots of triggery responses in this thread.

Almost seems like the thread was designed to evoke exactly those responses.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



GusPolinski said:


> Lots of triggery responses in this thread.
> 
> Almost seems like the thread was designed to evoke exactly those responses.


Exactly. Some days I feel like I need a pre-apology .sig absolving me from accidentally troll feeding.


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Hpv 

It's a real danger


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

chillymorn69 said:


> Hpv
> 
> It's a real danger


Sure. And you can get it even with protected sex because a condom only covers a guy's **** and not the entire areas of skin that will be touching during sex.

But sorry. He's been married to her for 17 years. I think the exposure-to-her ship has already sailed.

I wonder if OP has thought about kissing. Once you kiss someone, you forever carry the mouth bacteria of that person and everyone else they have kissed. Has OP always used " protection" when kissing prior to marriage?

If not, he is waaaay unclean.


----------



## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Livvie said:


> Sure. And you can get it even with protected sex because a condom only covers a guy's **** and not the entire areas of skin that will be touching during sex.
> 
> But sorry. He's been married to her for 17 years. I think the exposure-to-her ship has already sailed.
> 
> ...


It's more of a problem with oral sex because it has been linked to throat cancer.

And your right after 17 yrs of marriage he's been exposed to anything she could possibly have.

I think he's being unreasonable.


----------



## happy2gether (Dec 6, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> You guys can actually say that it doesn’t bother you that someone else ejacu1ated inside your SO’s body !



I can honestly say it does not bother me one bit. just as it does not bother her how many times I have in another woman's body. 

you seriously come across like the way many teens are, "oh I can't date X because he kissed Y 2 years ago" it is just insecurity, and if she has stuck with you for 17 years of this then you have nothing to be insecure about!


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Oh well, I’m done with her.
> 
> Seems to me that the majority (99.9%) of the population doesn’t have any issues with knowing their partners have been with others.
> Well then, how are you a couple ?
> ...


Of course I have no issue with my husband having previous lovers and he has no issue with me having previous lovers. In fact, we talked about how important it was to have had past lovers so that we could learn enough about dating and mating to confidently choose a spouse.

I don't understand the "How are you a couple?" question. We met, fell in love, dated, moved in together, got married, raised some kids....we're a couple just like any other couple.

You do have some control over how you think and feel. 

If you don't change your way of thinking, celibacy or marrying a child bride from a 3rd world country are going to be your only options.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Livvie said:


> Sure. And you can get it even with protected sex because a condom only covers a guy's **** and not the entire areas of skin that will be touching during sex.


That's HSV.


----------



## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

User21, what are your religious affiliation and beliefs concerning sexual issues?

Just for kicks, say you had a brother or a sister with say 4 children and their spouse died. Would you expect the brother or sister to not have a partner and possibly marry again? Should your brother's or sister's kids go without a step parent? People are social animals and don't do well without friends and support. People in longer term relationships usually consider natural sexual activity is a given.

You can believe anything you want, it doesn't make you right. You are the only person I have heard with your beliefs.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

My beliefs are just that, my beliefs!

I left my wife 3 days ago. I won’t be returning to her. I live in the USA, I have no religion. Had nothing to do with religion to start with.

No, I didn’t leave her for anyone else. Every woman in my age class had already been ****ed plenty... which, in my eyes makes her dirty, so I won’t be pursuing anyone.

Thanks for your suggestions everyone


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> My beliefs are just that, my beliefs!
> 
> I left my wife 3 days ago. I won’t be returning to her. I live in the USA, I have no religion. Had nothing to do with religion to start with.
> 
> ...



Good for your wife. May she recover from this unreasonable blow you have dealt to her. You absolutely did her a favor leaving her... I hope you were kind, but judging from your words you likely were not. 

I wish her all the happiness and freedom in the world to find a more worthy partner. 

You, i hope you find the best friend and company you are looking for within yourself, alone is a sad sad fate, but for one such as you it may be deserved.


----------



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> 40 year old male here, been married for 17 years, recently we started talking about past sexual partners and experiences we had prior to meeting, I didn’t like some of her answers...
> *while researching the issue I discovered that everyone an individual has been with, their DNA stays inside that person.*
> 
> Now, I view her as kinda damaged goods.
> ...


So I googled, and based on this, https://www.snopes.com/women-retain-dna/ , the claim is determined false.

But of course, it's all the internet. So investigate the sources yourself, here's the sources used in the article from snopes:

Dmitry, Baxter. “Women Absorb And Retain DNA From Every Man They Have Sex With.”
YourNewsWire.com. 23 June 2017.
Chan, William F. N., et al. “Male Microchimerism in the Human Female Brain.”
PLOS ONE. 26 September 2012.
Lewis, Ricki. “Male DNA in Female Brains Revisited.”
PLOS ONE DNA Science Blog. 25 October 2012.
Yan, Z., et al. “Male Microchimerism in Women Without Sons: Quantitative Assessment and Correlation With Pregnancy History.”
American Journal of Medicine. August 2005.
Müller, A.C., et al. “Microchimerism of Male Origin in a Cohort of Danish Girls.”
Chimerism. October 2015.

Let us know what you find.


----------



## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I pray your wife finds a worthy man.


----------



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> My beliefs are just that, my beliefs!
> 
> I left my wife 3 days ago. I won’t be returning to her. I live in the USA, I have no religion. Had nothing to do with religion to start with.
> 
> ...


I have some very sad news for you. Your hand is a whole heck of a lot dirtier most women's vaginas are. Enjoy living in the jail you created. I am not sure if you can use Purell as a lubricant.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

I wouldn’t consider it being jail.

You might see it that way but I don’t.
I feel better now than I have In awhile


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

There is always the new rage of robots created for sex. You can make purchase of a fresh of the assembly line untouched and ready to go. They are not much good for anything else. 

But on a serious note, I can understand your feelings about it. Let me then ask, do you use public bathrooms? Others have completed their business there as well.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Yes I do.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

User21 said:


> I wouldn’t consider it being jail.
> 
> You might see it that way but I don’t.
> I feel better now than I have In awhile


The world is breathing a sigh of relief, as well.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I won't debate the plausibility of this thread, I'll simply state that it's somewhat thought provoking which is a good thing. 

I ran this one by my girlfriend. I said "There's this somewhat questionable thread on TAM but leaving the credibility aside for a moment, does it bother you that I've ejaculated inside of at least 2 dozen women? Because it doesn't really bother me that you've been with a number of guys, if anything, they were just practice so you could improve your techniques". She said that she doesn't like to think about me being with other women even if it's ancient history. I started picturing her with some ex's and yeah, I guess it's not a pleasant thought- but that's about as far as it goes. The next time she's sucking my penis with those excellent skills I'll give a mental thumbs up to all the guys who spurted in there before I came to town.

I guess it's one of those things where if you let your mind go crazy- it could make you crazy.

Look at the poor sap who is the subject of this story- whether a character or a real life person. This person is somewhat unhinged, is not in touch with reality, is suffering from some sort of phobia, or neurosis, or even a psychosis- and has made a major life decision as a result.

Welcome to the world of mental illness.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

I appreciate the comments and explanation’s.

I only asked on here looking for advice, opinions and hopefully someone to validate my reasoning.

I guess it seems I’m Different than most.
So be it. 
The only person that I need to validate my reasoning is myself.
And I already did.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I appreciate the comments and explanation’s.
> 
> I only asked on here looking for advice, opinions and hopefully someone to validate my reasoning.
> 
> ...


That's a typical reaction on this forum and others like it.

Someone tells their story and expects some people to respond in a supportive manner, to somehow justify or validate their actions. The person telling the story suspects that something is wrong- very wrong, and that is exactly WHY they posted it for others to read, so they can put their restless mind at ease.

Sometimes the person will get validation in the form of supportive replies or good advice, but quite often, such as in this case, they are met with uniform disagreement and disapproval.

Despite not one person telling you that your actions are in any way close to normal, your reaction is inexplicably to the effect of "It's ok that no one agrees or understands, I'm validated because the only person that matters is me".

I'm going to gently suggest that speaking to others about your issue, whether it's in person or online, is going to be of no use to you if you're unwilling to listen to what others have to say. And my excellent advice is not only for you but for others who post their stories and reject all advice that is offered.


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I give up. There's no possible way I can respond to the OP and have it get past the moderators.


----------



## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Whatever OP was reading is full of sh1t. If that were the case women could self impregnate. DNA stays as long as it takes for the cervix to push it out. If a woman douches, it is gone immediately. Although I am an accountant, my degree, however useless, is in comparative vertebrate anatomy.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Well said Bonkers...

I appreciate the honesty.
Due to whatever that won’t let me get around my issue, i have to do what I think is best for myself.

But, yes you do make a very good point.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Due to whatever that won’t let me get around my issue, i have to do what I think is best for myself.


What might be best for you is intensive therapy to get to the root of why you walked out on your committed life partner for a reason that is based on factors that have not changed since you first met.

Something has changed- but it's YOU.

You can try to figure it out and fix it, or "do what is best for you" which will likely result in you being single for the rest of your natural life- for reasons that the vast majority of your fellow planetary inhabitants can only shake their head at.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Taxman said:


> Whatever OP was reading is full of sh1t. If that were the case women could self impregnate. DNA stays as long as it takes for the cervix to push it out. If a woman douches, it is gone immediately. Although I am an accountant, my degree, however useless, is in comparative vertebrate anatomy.


Sperm dies rather quickly once it's released into the rather hostile environment present within a woman's body. 

A woman cannot get pregnant from "DNA".


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Being single doesn’t bother me. Being celibate doesn’t bother me either.

I cannot see how therapy would make any difference.
Would just try to convince me I’m wrong.

I have female friends, very good friends, I’m just not interested in any form of sexual relations with any of them.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I appreciate the comments and explanation’s.
> 
> I only asked on here looking for advice, opinions and hopefully someone to validate my reasoning.
> 
> ...


I would not say you are different than most. Think about it, how many would happen upon this site that feel like you do? Not many as they are not seeking out a site that discusses sex as they are not having it.


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I appreciate the comments and explanation’s.
> 
> I only asked on here looking for advice, opinions and hopefully someone to validate my reasoning.
> 
> ...





User21 said:


> Being single doesn’t bother me. Being celibate doesn’t bother me either.
> 
> I cannot see how therapy would make any difference.
> Would just try to convince me I’m wrong.
> ...


Then why are you still posting?


----------



## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

By any chance could you be gay and this is your way of rationalizing?


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Being single doesn’t bother me. Being celibate doesn’t bother me either.
> 
> I cannot see how therapy would make any difference.
> Would just try to convince me I’m wrong.
> ...


There is nothing wrong with that at all. It is just you being you. Can't find fault there. Carry on however, you may want to let your W go so she may find another who thinks differently than you.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

No, not gay.
Already let her go.

Only posting because some had asked questions.


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Wow that was a quick divorce dude, can I have the contact information of your lawyer?


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Divorce in the works, I left her several days ago.


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Where'd you go?


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

To a rental home I own in another state.


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Must be cool to not have to worry about commuting to work.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Being single doesn’t bother me. Being celibate doesn’t bother me either.
> 
> I cannot see how therapy would make any difference.
> Would just try to convince me I’m wrong.
> ...


Here's the thing. You are experiencing sudden, unexpected and (by most standards) irrational changes in your behavior- that were not present before. It would be one thing if you always felt this way and never got involved with a woman who was not a virgin. But- you've been married for 17 years and now all of a sudden the whole "used vagina" thing has caused you to make major life changes.

You can be experiencing a major mental breakdown. Even if you think it's perfectly ok for you to end your marriage, this unexpected and irrational behavior may only be a symptom of a much greater problem. 

Hence- the therapy- which is a LOT more than just trying to convince you that you're wrong. It's about determining why you have suddenly adopted an entirely new and unhealthy way of thinking.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

No not really sudden change in behavior, I’ve always had my own thoughts and opinions on different aspects of life in general.
Granted, some may be unconventional.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No not really sudden change in behavior, I’ve always had my own thoughts and opinions on different aspects of life in general.
> Granted, some may be unconventional.


Walking away from a 17 year marriage to live alone in another state because you are suddenly unable to deal with your wife's sexual history is a sudden and major behavioral change.

In addition you seem to have a complete lack of empathy for what your wife may be going through at this time.

Again, if you never got married, never had sex with a woman with a history, than your behavior might be described as a bit weird or eccentric- but you did have sex and you did get married and all of a sudden you can't handle it.

That's a lot more than just being weird or eccentric- it's a sign of a mental disorder. 

This is why some people are homeless on the streets or lock themselves away in their homes and become afraid to even go out to buy groceries.

More here

http://www.merckmanuals.com/home/me...-health-care/personality-and-behavior-changes

Maybe you have a brain tumor


----------



## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

What was your wife's reaction when you told her why you were leaving her?


----------



## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Man I hear you I'm not going to pretend I'm okay with dudes jizzing in my wife before me, but not much I can do nor I'll lose sleep over it
. I've been with her since she was in the late year of her 23rd spin around the sun. I recall her saying she lost her virginity early 20s, so I was cool not much mileage (immature me!) As my last serious relationship had been with a 17 year old (me 19) and she was 10 plus guys deep! Which I never mind, as i rocked her world.

Anyway I had asked my current wife so how many guys had she slept with at first she did not want to tell me, as i was doing the math in my head. It can't be that bad, as she reserved made me wait 90 days. At last she told me it was 4!!!! I was FOUR! I could not believe she had been with 4 other guys before me.

She the first time she had sex with a guy was 21 I met her at 23 WTF 3 dudes in the time frame did not make sense to Me! 
I got over it, and don't like to think about it.
What's weird is why didn't I had no issues with my ex which I had two beautiful children with, who said she might had been with 10 plus guys yet it bothered me, to learn 4 some how was just to many!?!?

My point is what I came up was how we elevate our partners, in what esteem we view are beloved one. I knew my ex was fast and crazy. While I felt my wife seemed mild and not as progressive.

So I ask you did you feel or believed your wife's sexual partners was allot less than what you thought, or did she ever mentioned a number that now sounds like a lie?

I think that would bother me more, you said it was blah blah, but hey it was blah, blah, blah, blah and blah! So how many was that??? 

S1


Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


----------



## introvert (May 30, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

My girlfriend has had a lot of wild and crazy sex before she met me, with a number of people. It has made her the wild and crazy hot lover she is today, and I am grateful for all of the experiences she has had in order for her to be the person she is. The person I love.

I am happy for the OP's wife. I'm sure she's bewildered right now, but in the long run, she will find somebody who truly appreciates her. I know this for a fact.


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

There is also a great deal of context missing here, he said little about the condition of his marriage through the years or how he felt about his W sexually or if he felt she desired him. He may have felt like plan B from the start and then years became decades and this was the last straw.

Tamat


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Marriage was actually fine throughout the years, no major problems other than your normal argument from time to time.

I’m not sure how she feels about this , I think she’s maybe reacting like everyone on here has.
Maybe I am wrong, and unwilling to think things through first. IDK


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Marriage was actually fine throughout the years, no major problems other than your normal argument from time to time.
> 
> I’m not sure how she feels about this , I think she’s maybe reacting like everyone on here has.
> Maybe I am wrong, and unwilling to think things through first. IDK


Think about it for a second- let's say after 17 years of a fine marriage, your wife suddenly turns to you one day and says "I don't like your hair color, I just can't handle it" and she files for divorce and moves away.

Would you think there's something very wrong with her?

Of course you would- so would any rational human being. 

Like I said, you need to do a lot more than just "think it through"- you need professional help, ASAP.

I have nothing more to add to this thread, good luck man.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> My beliefs are just that, my beliefs!
> 
> I left my wife 3 days ago. I won’t be returning to her. I live in the USA, I have no religion. Had nothing to do with religion to start with.
> 
> ...


Lucky STBX and all women!


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

NobodySpecial said:


> User21 said:
> 
> 
> > My beliefs are just that, my beliefs!
> ...


I second this!!


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Bonkers said:


> Here's the thing. You are experiencing sudden, unexpected and (by most standards) irrational changes in your behavior- that were not present before. It would be one thing if you always felt this way and never got involved with a woman who was not a virgin.


I like your posts, but I need to add a VERY important clarification. It is the unprotected sex, not the virginity or "used vagina" part which is the irrationality of the issue.

He had no problem marrying a woman who had extramarital sex, until he found out it was unprotected.



User21 said:


> *No, I knew she had a past...*
> 
> Didn’t know that 7 others had ejaculated in her though.
> 
> ...


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I think for most of us there are thresholds beyond which we will divorce.

For some it might be oral, genital or anal. 

For some statements of love, statements of contempt for their spouse, statements that the other person was the best sex they every had.

For some money spent, emotional abandonment of the children, length of the affair, number of affairs etc, etc. 

Unprotected is also mentioned quite frequently, and not just by this poster.

Tamat


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

TAMAT said:


> I think for most of us there are thresholds beyond which we will divorce.
> 
> For some it might be oral, genital or anal.
> 
> ...


This wasn't an affair.

This was sex she had 17 years ago. Sex he knew she had. And has had sex with her for the past 17 years.


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



TAMAT said:


> Unprotected is also mentioned quite frequently, and not just by this poster.
> 
> Tamat


If you say so, I've never read this type of specific thinking outside of an affair. The few times I have it was a HIDDEN revelation. Religious/Virgin spouse finds out signification other was really experienced and it blows their mind and possibly leads to divorce. Another I have seen is the number of partners bothers people. For me, this is the first where the the sexual contact and number is fine, it is the lack of protection and shock that occurred which is strange. 

I just assumed, before I was married, it was birth control and not condoms with previous partners.


----------



## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

/


----------



## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



notmyrealname4 said:


> As wacky as as this thread kinda is, there is some truth to it----I'd heard of telegony before. Here are a few leads if anyone wants to know about the legitimate origins of this belief.
> 
> 
> https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4282758/
> ...


The second link you provided seems to me a little preachy, and sexes in my opinion. 
I bet some religious conservative group is behind this article, and control is on top of the list.Guilt tripping isn't going help or build healthy women. 

Again not sure of the authenticity the original research at the moment. I think healthy dose skepticism needs to practice!

S1




Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Again, you are constantly inhaling skin fragments (and worse) from other people. Why would it matter if a tiny bit of someone else's DNA were in your partner?


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

I suppose since it was before she even knew me I should get over it.
Maybe i am acting irrationally.


----------



## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I suppose since it was before she even knew me I should get over it.
> Maybe i am acting irrationally.


I was going to be snarky but then thought better of it, because I definitely don't want to discourage this line of thinking.

Unfortunately I think I recall you saying that you've already left your wife, right?

What does she have to say about all of this?


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I suppose since it was before she even knew me I should get over it.
> Maybe i am acting irrationally.


There's no maybe about it. 

This position, genuine or made up for our benefit, is irrational at a graduate level.


----------



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I wouldn’t consider it being jail.
> 
> You might see it that way but I don’t.
> I feel better now than I have In awhile


Yeah, I see your point. Even those guys in the joint still get a little action now and again!. Enjoy the Purell!


----------



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Cletus said:


> There's no maybe about it.
> 
> This position, genuine or made up for our benefit, is irrational at a graduate level.


Graduate level? Hell even at the Kindergarten level it is beyond belief.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Ynot must be some sorta friggin expert on things.


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

User21,

You wrote,* I suppose since it was before she even knew me I should get over it. Maybe i am acting irrationally.*

If you want to put your mind to rest ask your W will she take a polygraph to help prove that all significant details Of her sex life before you are known. Would you also divorce her if she did things with other men she has never done with you or was with another woman?

Tamat


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

If my wife asked me to take a polygraph about thinks I did before we were married, we'd be talking to a divorce attorney. 




TAMAT said:


> User21,
> 
> You wrote,* I suppose since it was before she even knew me I should get over it. Maybe i am acting irrationally.*
> 
> ...


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

We tried to talk things out, it’s not going to work out.

To many images in my head to get past it. I love her dearly, but, hell I can’t even kiss her anymore due to knowing she blew several past partners .

Just to much damage done


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> We tried to talk things out, it’s not going to work out.
> 
> To many images in my head to get past it. I love her dearly, but, hell I can’t even kiss her anymore due to knowing she blew several past partners .
> 
> Just to much damage done


The damage is inside your head.


----------



## SA2017 (Dec 27, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Don’t wanna be irrational, really I don’t.
> 
> But who in their right mind wants a woman who you know others already enjoyed.


what about you? did you have several partners before marriage?

and yes, you're right...every time you have sex you gain not only their DNA but also soul ties. 

too many people doesn't know that or simply do not care. 

you can "divorce" yourself from spiritual ties and get rid of them. SAME for you. you're not clean either IF you had other partners before.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

The damage is her. It’s not me.

That sad part is every middle aged woman is the exact same, all with a history.

Who wants to be with someone like that, part of society’s problem I think, people view it as normal.

I give up


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> The damage is her. It’s not me.
> 
> That sad part is every middle aged woman is the exact same, all with a history.
> 
> ...


Good plan.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> The damage is her. It’s not me.
> 
> That sad part is every middle aged woman is the exact same, all with a history.
> 
> ...


No. This is where we have to draw a line. 

You do not get to redefine your mental illness as normal. Society is right, you are wrong, and your wife is not unclean. 

Deal with it.


----------



## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> The damage is her. It’s not me.
> 
> That sad part is every middle aged woman is the exact same, all with a history.
> 
> ...


What's really sad is that you are in denial. It would be good for you to go to a therapist and tell him what you have said here. Ask for help to understand what is healthy and what is not. Everyone needs a little help from time to time, which is why you came here. It's okay to uncover areas where our thinking is messed up. I'm 53 years old and I still have realizations about where I need to recognize dysfunction and grow. I don't expect that to end at any point in my life. It's a process of learning and growing. Don't give up on that.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Cletus said:


> No. This is where we have to draw a line.
> 
> You do not get to redefine your mental illness as normal. Society is right, you are wrong, and your wife is not unclean.
> 
> Deal with it.


I disagree. He can do whatever he wants, as long as the only person he hurts is himself, and he's doing just fine as far as that goes.

Well, there's also his wife, but since she's out of the picture and is free to rebuild her life without a mental case to deal with, she's in far better shape even if she doesn't realize it yet.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Bonkers said:


> I disagree. He can do whatever he wants, as long as the only person he hurts is himself, and he's doing just fine as far as that goes.
> 
> Well, there's also his wife, but since she's out of the picture and is free to rebuild her life without a mental case to deal with, she's in far better shape even if she doesn't realize it yet.


Of course be can do as he likes. But in support of women everywhere who are **** shamed after 17 years of marriage, it's our duty to be vocal about how this is NOT our problem, but his.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Cletus said:


> Of course be can do as he likes. But in support of women everywhere who are **** shamed after 17 years of marriage, it's our duty to be vocal about how this is NOT our problem, but his.


I don't think any sane person reading the Ops posts needs the issue clarified further.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Bonkers said:


> I don't think any sane person reading the Ops posts needs the issue clarified further.


Correct. That's why it was directed at the other population.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

If I view woman who’ve had unprotected sex and sucked strange **** as dirty and unclean, that’s my business.

Same as you saying I’m a mental case is your business. 

If you want to kiss your wife, have sex with her, etc etc. knowing there’s probably been others who’ve already been there, so be it.

That’s your choosing.

I so much as look at her it makes me think about her with somebody else, probably someone I see often, maybe even know, but, who knows really.

Everyone says it’s not an issue.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> If I view woman who’ve had unprotected sex and sucked strange **** as dirty and unclean, that’s my business.
> 
> Same as you saying I’m a mental case is your business.


As long as you don't own any guns and decide to cleanse the world of unclean people, it's all good.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> If I view woman who’ve had unprotected sex and sucked strange **** as dirty and unclean, that’s my business.


It is. And yes, to put none too fine a point on it, I'm calling you mentally ill for holding that opinion.

My long history with mental illness in my own family has taught me that no one is properly served by tap-dancing around the problem as if it doesn't exist.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Lol

I’m not quite as psycho as you think.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

What you want in women is entirely up to you. I have no problem with that. 

Where I do have a problem is your deciding that your wife of 17 years, the woman you have sworn to love and honor for the rest of your life is "unclean". 

It is such an extreme view, and so destructive to any possible future relationships and to your future happiness, that I think it is not unreasonable to classify it as mental illness. It would be to me similar to someone who was so afraid of "germs" that they were unwilling to ever go in public. Germs are real, but such a great phobia is a problem. 




User21 said:


> If I view woman who’ve had unprotected sex and sucked strange **** as dirty and unclean, that’s my business.
> 
> Same as you saying I’m a mental case is your business.
> 
> ...


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Lol
> 
> I’m not quite as psycho as you think.


You sound like my exwife. :grin2:


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

User,

This is not that much different from someone who refuses to eat tomatoes or strawberries or develops an aversion to something later in life.

He is also being honest about his inability now to provide his W with a complete marriage. 

How many men on here have wives who for one reason or another have developed a permanent aversion to having sex with their husbands, they tell lie after lie, yet never tell their husbands why when they know why. 

Tamat


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



TAMAT said:


> User,
> 
> This is not that much different from someone who refuses to eat tomatoes or strawberries or develops an aversion to something later in life.


It's always been my understanding that you don't exchange vows with a tomato before you eat it.


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

There is often a time during the wedding ceremony when it's asked "if anyone here know any reason why these two should not be wed let them speak now". It's also incumbent on the groom and bride to speak up. 

Tamat


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



TAMAT said:


> There is often a time during the wedding ceremony when it's asked "if anyone here know any reason why these two should not be wed let them speak now". It's also incumbent on the groom and bride to speak up.
> 
> Tamat


They only do that in the movies.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

According to OP, every women who had has had a child ( because she had to have unprotected sex) is "unclean".

Haaaaa!!


----------



## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

* User21
The damage is her.*

User, how do you view plates, cups, and silverware used to serve restaurant meals. They have ALL BEN USED before you used them.

If you live in a city that treats river water for drinking and household use, some of the river water was urine at one time. Well water had microbes in it, yet very few people go without water.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Handy said:


> * User21
> The damage is her.*
> 
> User, how do you view plates, cups, and silverware used to serve restaurant meals. They have ALL BEN USED before you used them.
> ...


Lets take this a step further
@User21, the air you breathe has been circulated in and out of other people's lungs!

In fact when someone farts, their fart gas mixes with the air that you breathe-so you are inhaling the contents of someone's ass.


----------



## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Curious. 

What would your reaction have been if your wife had left you and was divorcing you over something you had done from two decades ago, that you could do NOTHING to change, and that she should have clearly asked you about before marriage but didn’t? Don’t just gloss past the question, really ponder on it.

Who is morally (more) wrong here? 

I’m so happy you left her. You should be required to wear a disclaimer tag the rest of your life. Your going to get horny, and you will be on the prowl. Just know, when your future virgin dates ask you why your marriage split up, only tell them the truth if you never want to see them again.


----------



## Bonkers (Nov 26, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Spicy said:


> when your future virgin dates ask you why your marriage split up, only tell them the truth if you never want to see them again.


Virgin dates? At his age?

He might as well ride around on a unicorn.


----------



## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Bonkers said:


> Virgin dates? At his age?
> 
> He might as well ride around on a unicorn.


Unicorns are clearly not sanitary enough. I recommend an X-wing fighter.


----------



## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> If I view woman who’ve had unprotected sex and sucked strange **** as dirty and unclean, that’s my business.


But yet you didn't seem to view her as dirty and unclean prior to saying, "I do", and for the following 17 years that she loved and nurtured you.


----------



## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Did you know that you can get warts on your hands from touching a public door handle, computer mouse or keyboard, grocery store cart? If you have a small nick on your skin, and touch something with the virus on it, you are infected.

Have you ever had a cold? Heh heh that cold virus (and viruses have....drumroll DNA!!!) was transmitted to you care of someone's nasal passages or lungs. Gross!!

All of that is waaaay grosser and more detrimental to you than your wife having unprotected sex 17!!! years ago.


----------



## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I don't know which is sadder - The whacked out world view of the OP or the few posters actually attempting to validate his position.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> We tried to talk things out, it’s not going to work out.
> 
> To many images in my head to get past it. I love her dearly, but, hell I can’t even kiss her anymore due to knowing she blew several past partners .
> 
> Just to much damage done


You engaged in dialog and I admire that.

While I think I understand some of your issues, they would never be my issues.

I don't think you deserve some of the scorn and criticism your are getting.

Assuming this is and honest inquiry on you part, I do have some advice for you.

You say you love your wife dearly, but you can't get certain images out of your mind and they are destroying your marriage. For your sake (and possible the sake of your wife of 17 years and child) seek some individual counseling. The counseling is not to change the past. It is to help you cope and perhaps be able to purge those images from your mind. 

There are a variety of ways though hypnosis or other techniques to reprogram some of your fears and disgust. Just as there are therapies to get over a fear of heights or fear/disgust of spiders, you too can get over a fear/disgust of kissing your wife, if you truly love her as you say. The same is true of even having sex with her.

You don't need to change who you are, what you believe, your fears or your disgust. But if you love your wife, child and marriage, you might want to try to push yourself for the happiness and future of your family.

Good luck.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Bonkers said:


> Lets take this a step further
> 
> @User21, the air you breathe has been circulated in and out of other people's lungs!
> 
> In fact when someone farts, their fart gas mixes with the air that you breathe-so you are inhaling the contents of someone's ass.


Actually my favorite similar statement is that it is extremely difficult to create new molecular elements. This means that since the birth of the earth only a certain amount of hydrogen and oxygen has been around. Once a water molecule is formed of hydrogen and two oxygen, it pretty much is around forever, just changing phase and combining with other things or being distilled pure. 

If you consider all things and the huge expanse of time, then the "pure water" you now drinkt has been filtered though the kidneys of dinosaurs, fish, mammals, birds, and/or reptiles (likely several times) before being returned to nature and the water cycle and your glass.

We are all into recycling.....it is natures way.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> But, I won’t touch her anymore, nor would I touch any other woman with a past ever again.


Then you'd best be heading to the nearest junior high to start the process of selecting your next 'wife.'



> Every woman in my age class had already been ****ed plenty... which, in my eyes makes her dirty, so I won’t be pursuing anyone.


I'm just curious if it's cold and lonely down in your mom's basement?


----------



## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Actually, this guy is seriously derranged or he is a troll yanking our chains.


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

What i find most irrational is, (not that he finds this gross, not that he cant get the mental images out of his head, his moral beliefs) its that he has NOT EVEN TRIED TO GET OVER IT. This is a fairly recent revelation and YOU are not even giving yourself the chance to work on this. Get counseling, you just make it all HER FAULT and you just up and leave a 17 year marriage. You are having the impulses of a teenager... Honestly I get your argument, but you have not even given yourself a chance to absorb your new profoundly different reality of your perception of her. 

Now that you have left her, i say good... For her, but for yourself you did not even give yourself the chance to recover from your issues about her past actions from before the two of you. 

This is NOT her fault, and technically it is not yours for being confused. What is your fault is you are not giving yourself, your 17 year relationship, and children the respect to simmer down and take things slowly while you figure out what is going on in your head/ in your current relationship. You just jumped ship.... 

I cant really get on board with that. 

Again...I still dont agree with your hang up, but i get your hang up. 

Stop acting so impulsive and give your wife, and yourself a time out to think things through....


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Well an update.


We are back together, after having a long conversation, I think things will work out and be okay from here on forward.

Still no sex yet, she tried to initiate it but I don’t think that’s a good idea, just yet...

I appreciate everyone who posted and tried to help me out, some of them made me realize I wasn’t thinking things through.

We will see how this goes.


----------



## Ghost Rider (Mar 6, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

User, I'm glad to hear that. So I just want to encourage you to stay with her and be good to her, as long as she is to you (and you haven't given any reason to make us think she isn't). She seems like a good woman who really loves you. I can't even say that much for my so-called wife, who had an affair.

Your wife hasn't done anything wrong and doesn't really deserve your scorn, contempt, and abandonment.


----------



## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

User21,

Glad to hear it, I think I would have ultimately forgiven too.

I will say that this is an extreme example of trickle truth and a bit of a warning not to minimize or lie by omission. 

You may take about two years or so to actually get over this and that is typical. I'm not sure how long it takes for the images to go away.

Tamat


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Well an update.
> 
> 
> We are back together, after having a long conversation, I think things will work out and be okay from here on forward.
> ...



I hope she is alright with this situation. Please encourage her to get some counseling for your initial reaction, as well as some for yourself. 

This holiday was awful for you both so it stands to reason that next christmas and holiday season will possibly be a trigger for you and her both. 

I am glad you gave it some critical thought. You really do yourself a service to slow down and try to work through these strong feelings you have regarding this issue. 

Dont rush sex, after all this is a sexual and mental problem. You will not get over it by just forcing it. Not doing it for months could be a problem though so waste no time trying to work through it. She is likely coming on hard because she is hurt and trying to (hysterically bond sex) it's a real thing. 

Take her on dates, shower her with attention, if you put forth the effort the fond and loving feelings may return as with your libido in regards to her.


----------



## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



notmyrealname4 said:


> I don't know how this was known about in the ancient world, but I do seem to remember Old Testament verses about the Israelites being able to take virgins of tribes they conquered as brides; but women that had been "known to a man" etc. etc., were "put to the sword" along with the men. How they determined which women were virgins or not, I have NO idea.
> 
> But it does go along with the idea of women serving only as incubators for children, and the idea that an enemy or *"impure" man had left his "mark" ? on her has always both infuriated men and made them very insecure.*
> 
> In modern times, in the West, we've gotten past that mostly; but obviously not completely.


From what I have heard (Rabbinic teaching) is that the reason for that directive is because women who had "known" (been sexually intimate) a man would have emotions for that man, as well as for any children they would have born to him. They would keep their bonds to their culture of origin and not assimilate well into the Israelite culture, which would produce strife for generations.

Women and girls who had not "known" (had sexual relations) or born children with a man would not be deeply emotionally bonded to a man of their culture, and would have an easier time assimilating when they "knew" and had children with an Israelite man. Love wasn't always the first ingredient in a marriage, but it grew with time if both spouses were good to each other.

Unless they lied, any woman who was not officially married would have been thought to not have known a man. They would have also accepted a betrothed (engaged) woman as not having known a man, because although she had been promised to be married, she had not had her wedding night.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Yea, I tried , but it can’t work..
Can’t get past the thoughts. 

Still viewing it as used and dirty. And always will.
Can’t so much as kiss her again.


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Yea, I tried , but it can’t work..
> Can’t get past the thoughts.
> 
> Still viewing it as used and dirty. And always will.
> Can’t so much as kiss her again.


You are very impatient. 

Due to the impatience and mental situation and condition you find yourself in it IS better for your wife and children that you just call it a done deal. 

YOU WILL REGRET THIS, and THEY will resent you for your actions, but obviously you cannot be either patient or empathetic about your own wife. It's all about germs and grossness...... 


Some day you will think yourself mighty foolish. 

I'm sorry this did not turn around fast enough for you.


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Yeah, i been thinking about you and your situation... Mostly im thinking about your wife. 

Please read this article. I found it today. The 7 Emotions You Feel When You Discover Your Partner?s Sexual Past | WaitingTillMarriage.org


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

She shouldn’t have sucked anyone’s ****, then we wouldn’t be in this situation.

Does everyone sleep with everyone now days or what ?


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

That's it, keep stringing them along every now and then with a post that keeps adding a little kindling to the fire.


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> She shouldn’t have sucked anyone’s ****, then we wouldn’t be in this situation.
> 
> Does everyone sleep with everyone now days or what ?


Welllll....

You are in this situation. 
You can let it continue to dominate you or you can deal with it.

Your choice.


----------



## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> She shouldn’t have sucked anyone’s ****, then we wouldn’t be in this situation.
> 
> Does everyone sleep with everyone now days or what ?


Didn’t you?


----------



## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> She shouldn’t have sucked anyone’s ****, then we wouldn’t be in this situation.
> 
> Does everyone sleep with everyone now days or what ?


There is only one solution to your problem. Since most women have had sex with somebody else before they marry, it would make sense for you to fvck the one person you can be sure is clean - and that is yourself! So maybe you should do just that!


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Honestly... Im done 

I would say more but i would likely be banned and deemed abusive and unhelpful. DIVORCE your wonderful wife of yours, she is well ride of the head case you have become.


----------



## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



threelittlestars said:


> Yeah, i been thinking about you and your situation... Mostly im thinking about your wife.
> 
> Please read this article. I found it today. The 7 Emotions You Feel When You Discover Your Partner?s Sexual Past | WaitingTillMarriage.org


Insightful article but neither the OP or his wife were virgins, unless I missed something?





Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Suspicious1 said:


> Insightful article but neither the OP or his wife were virgins, unless I missed something?


Marrying a virgin can come with some pretty significant downsides too that, instead of being limited to a pathological movie loop in your head, affect your actual real-life sex life.

There are worse things than marrying an experienced partner.


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Suspicious1 said:


> Insightful article but neither the OP or his wife were virgins, unless I missed something?
> 
> I realize that. it still applied to his situation to a degree.
> 
> ...


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> She shouldn’t have sucked anyone’s ****, then we wouldn’t be in this situation.
> 
> Does everyone sleep with everyone now days or what ?


No not "everyone". We all just sleep with your wife.


----------



## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Faithful Wife said:


> No not "everyone". We all just sleep with your wife.




And THEN:






I think it’s relative to the topic. Just the other end of the spectrum 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Why does everyone seem to think I am the one at fault ???

Everybody is fine with the fact that their spouse had Intercourse/oral with someone before you met ???


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Why does everyone seem to think I am the one at fault ???
> 
> Everybody is fine with the fact that their spouse had Intercourse/oral with someone before you met ???


Haven't you finished having your fun with the group yet?


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Why does everyone seem to think I am the one at fault ???
> 
> Everybody is fine with the fact that their spouse had Intercourse/oral with someone before you met ???


Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I be? I enjoyed a healthy sex life with various partners over the years, so why would I begrudge anyone else the same?


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

User21 said:


> Why does everyone seem to think I am the one at fault ???
> 
> Everybody is fine with the fact that their spouse had Intercourse/oral with someone before you met ???


Of course I am glad. They got sexually trained by others when they were younger. Now I don't have to do it.


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Why does everyone seem to think I am the one at fault ???
> 
> Everybody is fine with the fact that their spouse had Intercourse/oral with someone before you met ???


i had an arranged marriage and it is part of our storied culture that our wives be schooled in the art of sex before they are wed, so of course i'm fine with it.

my wife was a straight 'c' student.


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

we call the men in our culture who prepare our wives to be 'sexdongs'.

the women who prepare the men are called 'hookers'.

no we don't have any problems with sexual equality in our culture why do you ask?


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

one time my friend Rodid, cut sex class and went to the arcade instead

i say one time, because once the authorities found, he was jailed for a decade.


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

poor Rodid

i still see his name as the top score of the Super ManJin Boy cabinet at the local arcade:

*ROD*


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

if you really think about it, preparation is the best form of protection- especially when it comes to sex and blow jobs

would _you_ want an inexperienced woman giving you a bj?

think of the horrific damage that could occur if she's a little too fond of chewing gum


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Why does everyone seem to think I am the one at fault ???
> 
> Everybody is fine with the fact that their spouse had Intercourse/oral with someone before you met ???


Cause SHE NEVER LIED, you been married FOR 17 years, and you SUDDENLY CANT LIVE WITH HER. 

yes, the PROBLEM IS ALL ON YOU AND IN YOUR HEAD AND YOU ALLOW IT. 

duh....

:nerd:


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

i dont buy the whole dont have sex with a virgin either. 

I was a virgin when I had sex with my husband who was just a boyfriend back then. 

So I am a rarity in my 30s and only had sex with one man. But i have sucked three ****s.... So.....I did have some experience before i found my partner. 

But sex you can learn together, I am great and blow jobs, and edging etc. These things you can learn from both reading and porn. So, as long as the lady is not a prude she can learn to be a sex kitten in the bedroom without also sleeping around. 

But i don't look at a WOMANS value as directly correlated to how many ****s have been inside her. That is some really ****ed up thinking. Just because i have only had one **** in my v- hole does not make me better than ANY OTHER WOMAN. My other actions in life however do. Like honesty, fidelity, compassion, these are the things that will make me stand out from another woman.

Your wife has been faithful, honest, loving, nurturing, yet... All her value dropped, all those wonderful things disappeared when you learned more facts about her past sex life that you actually didnt need to know. 

your ego is bruised.... GET OVER YOURSELF YOU 

god Im so frustrated at you. you dont take advice and you are like a dog with a bone. let go already! 

Just let go knowing YOU ARE ALL TO BLAME.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Everybody is fine with the fact that their spouse had Intercourse/oral with someone before you met ???


Because we are human. We reject and accept things as part of life. You have done the same. However, in your world, only a fresh out of the package sex robot will fit the bill.


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Why does everyone seem to think I am the one at fault ???
> 
> Everybody is fine with the fact that their spouse had Intercourse/oral with someone before you met ???


I have had intercourse with exactly one woman--my wife of now 30+years.

She can not say the same thing about me. 

This bothers me? Not one freaking bit. Since we have been together she has been completely faithful; an absolute paragon of fidelity and completely devoted to our union together. There is no better woman in the world, including those who remained completely chaste until marriage. 

C'mon, dude, it's not like that thing somehow gets irreparably soiled by previous use. If she has been a loyal, faithful companion since she married you, you have ZERO grounds for complaint. In fact, if anybody got screwed in this union, it sounds like it's her, not you, based on your irrational, and quite frankly, _unloving_, approach to your relationship.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Little star

Facts that I didn’t really need to know ? ? ?

I should’ve know those facts years ago, then, I wouldn’t be here today.

Does your husband know that you have sucked 3 others ??
Or , I’m guessing he doesn’t really need to know ?

I do appreciate your responses, I really do.
You’ve said a lot that makes total sense, but, facts that I didn’t need to know, that part makes no sense to me.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

It’s impossible for me to look at it as no big deal....

I’m not putting any part of me in a place someone else had their nasty penis and ejaculated, reguardless if it was yesterday or 17 years ago...


https://www.google.com/amp/yournewswire.com/women-dna-man-sex/amp/


----------



## cma62 (Jul 31, 2010)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

If you put half as much effort into overcoming your stigma as you do ruminating about another man’s **** ejaculating inside your wife of 17 years you might have a chance at happiness. 
I think you drove your wife to dodge a bullet ....just sayin


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> It’s impossible for me to look at it as no big deal....
> 
> I’m not putting any part of me in a place someone else had their nasty penis and ejaculated, reguardless if it was yesterday or 17 years ago...
> 
> ...


So "their penis" is nasty but yours is not? 

And tell me, do you think ejaculate from seventeen years ago is still hanging around in there? Or has it changed the area at all? 

You presumably had sex throughout your marriage before you found out about prior sexual history, and you were fine with it. Your penis hasn't been negatively affected in any way, has it? You have not contracted a disease, you don't have genital warts, etc. That penis you're suddenly so protective of is not one iota different than it would be had she not had sex before marrying you. NOT ONE BIT DIFFERENT.

The whole problem here is purely in your apparently very limited mind. There is *no physical manifestation whatsoever* of her previous activity. 

You need some serious counseling. And if you won't do it for yourself, please do it for her sake; she deserves better. You do love her, don't you? Or is your "love" conditional based on her sexual status at the time of your marriage?


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Theirs nasty and mine isn’t, well uh yea.

It’s mine, I’m not catching anything from myself.


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Theirs nasty and mine isn’t, well uh yea.
> 
> It’s mine, I’m not catching anything from myself.


And after all this time, have you caught anything? 

Again, you've been happy with things for over a decade and a half. If you were going to "catch anything," it would have happened long ago. 

Fact: She's clean. 

Again, please seek help for your paranoia and counseling for your unloving behavior.


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

my penis is a work of art and the most cleanly penis ever. many people have looked at my penis and have all agreed it is incredible. i've heard talk that unesco is going to add it to their list of world heritage sites. it would be difficult for me to disagree. everyone i talk to say i have the cleanest penis and that would be because they are correct.


----------



## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> User21 said:
> 
> 
> > Theirs nasty and mine isn’t, well uh yea.
> ...


----------



## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

also my penis is going on tour. there will be a special showing January 14th, 10pm at the Rockford, Ill Marriott. You have to by tickets in advance through my paypal [email protected]. tickets are $100 each.

ladies: sorry but I am a retired sexdong so don't get any ideas.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

No
Not that I’m aware of.

But the very thought makes me nauseous.
I’ve always viewed things differently I guess, like I’ve never done oral ever, reasons like this is why.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Good for you toberlone

That’s wonderful ?


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No
> Not that I’m aware of.
> 
> But the very thought makes me nauseous.
> I’ve always viewed things differently I guess, like I’ve never done oral ever, reasons like this is why.


So, you acknowledge that there is no tangible problem here. You rightfully admit that your *thought *is the problem, not anything that exists in the physical world. 

The thing is, thoughts can be controlled, and even you can control yours if you choose to do so. 

You have all the evidence you need, intellectually, to get over this. If that isn't enough, talk to a professional. 

Or you can spend the rest of your life wallowing in fear and paranoia. Ultimately it's your choice. There's nothing else anyone here can do for you.


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Little star
> 
> Facts that I didn’t really need to know ? ? ?
> 
> ...



If you didn't need to know these facts 17 years ago to marry her when you knew she had sex with them in the first place you obviously did not need those details then or you would have asked them. Now it's end game for you. 

For the record my husband happens to be the 3rd ****, so I only sucked off two others. AND YES HE KNOWS, because he asked me detailed questions and i answered them BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED. you did not do that. YOUR FAULT.

Now your wife's entire life is topsy turvy because YOU did not ask her those details. YOU did not think it important back then to clarify, why did you now? and why are you punishing HER for it? THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM AND YOUR FAULT.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Ok little stars

You’ve got me there I guess.

But, why the hell didn’t I ask back then is what I can’t figure out. 
Was I that damn naive , stupid , or just didn’t care.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

help someone call a doctor i just bit my tongue so hard it is bleeding


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Ok little stars
> 
> You’ve got me there I guess.
> 
> ...


I think you didn't care then because you were probably in love or lust with your wife, but now you must have fallen out of love or something because you dont act this way with someone you love. You despise her now... That is a more important question. What made you dislike her so much? because i look at this sex thing as a fixation but not the root.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Ok little stars
> 
> You’ve got me there I guess.
> 
> ...


Does it really matter why you didn't ask back then?

You have seventeen years of faithful history with this woman, and you have genuine, incontrovertible proof that no negative consequences (outside your thoughts) have occurred. 

Never let your thoughts override facts and tangible evidence. 

You should consider yourself lucky you didn't ask back then. it sounds like you would have freaked and bolted. If you had, you would have missed out on 17 years (and hopefully more) of solid marriage to a good woman. In that, you have something most people envy. The universe was looking out for you. Now, you need to stop being selfish and small minded, and really start looking out for your wife. She needs, and more importantly, deserves your genuine love and enthusiastic support.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



threelittlestars said:


> i dont buy the whole dont have sex with a virgin either.
> 
> [...]
> 
> But sex you can learn together, I am great and blow jobs, and edging etc. These things you can learn from both reading and porn. *So, as long as the lady is not a prude* she can learn to be a sex kitten in the bedroom without also sleeping around.


Aye, and there's the rub. 

Perhaps some time talking to those of us who married virgin prudes would change your outlook. 

As I have long said on this forum - you sleep with your prospective mate before marriage not to determine if you will be forever sexually compatible, for this is not discoverable, but instead to discern if you are currently incompatible, which is, and which is much more destructive.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Ok little stars
> 
> You’ve got me there I guess.
> 
> ...


The reason did not asked back then you were enjoying her very skilled B.J, taught by the previous gents before you, its my guess!

You should disparage all those wonderful moments just because!

Just saying!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



toblerone said:


> my penis is a work of art and the most cleanly penis ever. many people have looked at my penis and have all agreed it is incredible. i've heard talk that unesco is going to add it to their list of world heritage sites. it would be difficult for me to disagree. everyone i talk to say i have the cleanest penis and that would be because they are correct.


Funniest post of the day!!! 



threelittlestars said:


> If you didn't need to know these facts 17 years ago to marry her when you knew she had sex with them in the first place you obviously did not need those details then or you would have asked them. Now it's end game for you.
> 
> Now your wife's entire life is topsy turvy because YOU did not ask her those details. YOU did not think it important back then to clarify, why did you now? and why are you punishing HER for it? THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM AND YOUR FAULT.


Although I agree that any questions you had should've been asked before marriage, I flat out wouldn't have answered them. 

Still won't.

The only relevant question for most is related to disease, and I'd be more than happy to be tested.

But I remember getting into this conversation years ago on here. What someone else wants to call transparency, I call privacy.

It's nobody's business. :nono:


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



minimalME said:


> Funniest post of the day!!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The relevant thing for me was what was the conversation about and for. If he wanted to make sure I was pure enough or was going to see if he had "cause" for retroactive jealousy, I would have told him... as I walked out the door.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I can't believe the amount of band width that has been wasted on this thread. As far as I am concerned the OP is an incredibly insecure whack job with absolutely unreasonable expectations.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

First off, the OP is a nut, and has some major issues obviously.

Secondly, my wife and I have also had this conversation about our pasts. It happened well after the fact as well. I feel that transparency is a good thing. All that being said, only one thing ever bothered me about my wife's past. It has nothing to do with her amount of sexual partners. Her count is almost 3 times my own. It has to do with her selection of said partners. I'm not going to lie, when I found out who her first was, my reaction was quite visceral. I also understand that the 2 families were close and that things like that have a tendency to happen among childhood friends. I dealt with my **** over that, but it will never change the fact that, that particular person's entire family is dirty useless trash. That's entirely my **** to own. No one else's! That being said, if I had known ahead of time, Im quite certain we would have never gotten together.

Third, If I was to ever find myself divorced I would definitely approach things quite differently. I highly doubt I would date. I'm pretty happy with myself and have no problem being alone. In the off chance that I happened date I would approach it as an interview process, for both of us. There wouldn't be casual sex on the third date or anything like that. I just don't believe in that. Fact is, there wouldn't be sex at all until we were exclusive and that would take some serious time and introspection. The other problem with that is that I wouldn't be with a person that had more partners than I had. That number is 4. I was a late starter, not a big deal to me. The chances of finding a woman with a number that low in her mid 40s that is also high drive is very unrealistic, I fully acknowledge that. That's just the consequences of my standards, that is also something I acknowledge and accept. If a woman won't discuss the subject then that is totally her right. Just like it's my right to look elsewhere. No harm no foul on either side.

It's not about pureness or anything of that nature. It's about compatibility. I hold myself to the same standards. To do otherwise is hypocrisy.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Windwalker

I agree with most of what you’ve said, well thought out and said.

Except the part about me being a nut!


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Windwalker said:


> First off, the OP is a nut, and has some major issues obviously.
> 
> Secondly, my wife and I have also had this conversation about our pasts. It happened well after the fact as well. I feel that transparency is a good thing. All that being said, only one thing ever bothered me about my wife's past. It has nothing to do with her amount of sexual partners. Her count is almost 3 times my own. It has to do with her selection of said partners. I'm not going to lie, when I found out who her first was, my reaction was quite visceral. I also understand that the 2 families were close and that things like that have a tendency to happen among childhood friends. I dealt with my **** over that, but it will never change the fact that, that particular person's entire family is dirty useless trash. That's entirely my **** to own. No one else's! That being said, if I had known ahead of time, Im quite certain we would have never gotten together.
> 
> ...


I completely get it, one of my earliest relationships which lasted more than 8 years She was 16-17 I was 19y. We spoke about her past, I was cocky cool and assumed progressive! 
She said she slept with about 10 or so guys before me she did have a reputation. I've been with 3 at the time including her.
My mother could tell a mile away my gf was fast. She warned me but i thought i could tame that broncos.
It never bothered me, until she wanted more! 
As my mother put it, me crying on her lap, she was smouldering inside for all those 8 years trying to contain the *****ness and it won! 

There's something about getting to those numbers up so fast in life, people gotta pace themselves this goes for man or woman! Sure enjoy life, make love or what ever kink you might have, but all in due time with people you have invested time and trust.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## snorzola (Jan 7, 2018)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



Ynot said:


> I can't believe the amount of band width that has been wasted on this thread.


And yet here you are, wasting more. 

This thread is somewhat useful, if not thought provoking regardless of it's sincerity or the mental state of the Op. We'll probably never know if it's true and the Op will never seek treatment because like most mental patients they don't know anything is wrong with them. Remember the old saying "If you think you've got mental problems you probably aren't insane". Or something like that. 

Anyway last night as we were settling in for the night, my girlfriend started playing with my penis and after it got sufficiently erect she put her mouth on it, and using her perfected method of mouth and hands together she kept at it until I blew a huge load in her mouth. 

She's not big on swallowing, and while she was in the bathroom spitting out my semen, I had a moment to reflect as I lay there in post orgasmic bliss, and this thread came to mind. And I had a moment of thanks for all the guys before me who she practiced on, who will never, ever appreciate the level of skill she has accumulated through her experience that allowed me to experience those 5-10 minutes of pure pleasure. 

The glass can be half empty, or it can be half full.


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Or she can spit it out.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



snorzola said:


> And yet here you are, wasting more.
> 
> This thread is somewhat useful, if not thought provoking regardless of it's sincerity or the mental state of the Op. We'll probably never know if it's true and the Op will never seek treatment because like most mental patients they don't know anything is wrong with them. Remember the old saying "If you think you've got mental problems you probably aren't insane". Or something like that.
> 
> ...


If you read the whole thread you would see I commented early on. I was only commenting on the fact that now, weeks later, people are still somewhat serious about the OP. As I said, he is a very insecure person and has been told that countless times. But some people still think they can "save" him or talk some sense into him. I am just amazed that how long the thread has stayed active. I am beyond attempting to respond to the OP.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Windwalker
> 
> I agree with most of what you’ve said, well thought out and said.
> 
> Except the part about me being a nut!


Those who know me irl and from my posts here can tell I am very blunt. I don't candy coat. I'm not Willy Wonka.

You and your wife have discussed her past and you now have what I consider to be an extreme case of retroactive jealousy.

What you have to do is figure out the particular point that is the hang up, and address it. So have you reflected on it at all? Have you found the precise point of contention?

This is your **** to deal with. I suggest you get counseling to help you deal with your acceptance of her past. After 17 years together, shaming her for her past, is actually pretty damned juvenile.

This is no different than any other contract. You don't get to claim foul and ignorance if you failed to fully investigate the fine print. I tend to agree with the poster that said there are other issues and you are just using this as a cudgel.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Reflected on it, yes, yes I have.

I know where the point of hang up is. Being juvenile I guess is a fair statement.

I knew she wasn’t a virgin when we started dating, didn’t matter to me then and doesn’t matter now.

However, I didn’t know that they had all been unprotected, with oral included...

That’s the major hangup for me. I think maybe the oral part more so, I myself don’t do oral, give or receive. 

The reason being on the giving, you never know who’s done what! Basically the same on receiving, that and I never wanted my **** in my wife’s mouth. She has never understood it. 

Yes, I’ll admit I’m different than everyone else.
I didn’t want to subject her to doing oral on me because I think it’s degrading.

But, come to find out she’s been degraded before.
Idk.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Reflected on it, yes, yes I have.
> 
> I know where the point of hang up is. Being juvenile I guess is a fair statement.
> 
> ...


Fair enough.
I guess my question would be, have you had unprotected sex with anyone other than your wife?


The oral sex part? I can almost understand it to a point. Almost! 

Personally I don't think it's that big of a deal to receive, the wife swears she loves it. Actions speak louder than words however. I love to give to my wife and my actions match my words. So, in some aspects, we are not that far away from each other.

The oral thing is a pretty big hang up. I still suggest some counseling to help you get past it.

Some people shouldn't ask questions if they can't handle the answers. Truth is a hard mistress.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Dude oral with a piece of latex simply sucks, no pun intended. 
What I find odd is your wife knew about your hang up yet told you recently! I'm thinking either she thinks you should get over it or has had it with you. 

Who the Eff ask their partner if they given oral without a condom.

I'm perplexed

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

She didn’t volunteer any info, I asked and she answered me.

Nobody said anything about oral with a condom.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

I think in your case ignorance should have been bliss. WHAT MADE YOU ASK THE QUESTION?


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> I knew she wasn’t a virgin when we started dating, didn’t matter to me then and doesn’t matter now.
> 
> However, I didn’t know that they had all been unprotected, with oral included...
> 
> ...


So you honestly expected a sexually experienced woman to never have given and received oral? Really? Seriously? That's just...wow. Oral is the most vanilla of vanilla sex acts other than missionary position. Yeesh.

Also, oral isn't degrading. It's a fairly amazing part of a healthy sex life for most people and the giver is actually in a position of power over their writhing in helpless ecstasy partner.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> She didn’t volunteer any info, I asked and she answered me.
> 
> Nobody said anything about oral with a condom.


Yeah that's my point, oral usually works best without protection, should have seen that one coming. 

That's one question that needed to stay under wraps.



Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Maybe that’s the issue, at one time in her life she received an gave, evidently.

I’ve never participated in either, it’s, for lack of better words, against my beliefs.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Maybe that’s the issue, at one time in her life she received an gave, evidently.
> 
> I’ve never participated in either, it’s, for lack of better words, against my beliefs.


Ok, so oral sex is a hard limit. Was your wife fully, and I mean implicitly informed of this prior to marriage? 

The one HUGE problem with this is that you don't get to set hard limits for another person. I mean this as realistic as stating your partner can never have enjoyed guacamole prior to marriage.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Maybe that’s the issue, at one time in her life she received an gave, evidently.
> 
> I’ve never participated in either, it’s, for lack of better words, against my beliefs.


Have you considered being grateful that this woman is willing to stay with you when you don't give or allow her to give oral? For many, I think the majority, going a lifetime without oral would be a true sacrifice.


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Maybe that’s the issue, at one time in her life she received an gave, evidently.
> 
> I’ve never participated in either, it’s, for lack of better words, against my beliefs.


Oh my god...seriously?


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



MJJEAN said:


> Have you considered being grateful that this woman is willing to stay with you when you don't give or allow her to give oral? For many, I think the majority, going a lifetime without oral would be a true sacrifice.


I know, it's like ultimate vanilla 101 required!


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## introvert (May 30, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Holy crap, I hope the OP's wife runs far and fast in the opposite direction.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Well, we’ve been trying to fix these issues and she’s been persistant about me giving in and letting her do oral on me, I do love her very very much, so I guess I’m going to go with it !!

I still see it as degrading to her, but, she’s doesn’t see it that way. She also wants me to do it to her, but, that I can’t and won’t do, at all.

We haven’t had sex for the past 2 months , all because of my nonsense.


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Well, we’ve been trying to fix these issues and she’s been persistant about me giving in and letting her do oral on me, I do love her very very much, so I guess I’m going to go with it !!


= _she is a disgusting tramp with a dirty vajayjay, but I guess i'll let her blow me with her dirty mouth_

Watch out dude, you might catch something. I've heard that some diseases can lay dormant in your mouth for 50 years or more.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Jesus I hate stereotyping, I really do! I'm from NYC as many can see from my profile. 
I've heard it all, see allot but you remind me of a particular friend who use to say " I'm not going to eat something that's going to make my d...k throw up! if this is you what's up Tyrone, it's Benny Blanco from the hood!

Obviously he didn't understand the mechanics behind the act, or the closeness you get from glazing each others faces 

I'm cheering you on bro, you can do this! Get you're kindergarten grossy out your mind and do your wife proud!

You consider yourself lucky, my wife lets me go down on her for me, it's something she's not into of lately.
as she says I'm a rare long thought to be extinct animal, Lickalotpuss!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Well, we’ve been trying to fix these issues and she’s been persistant about me giving in and letting her do oral on me, I do love her very very much, so I guess I’m going to go with it !!
> 
> I still see it as degrading to her, but, she’s doesn’t see it that way. She also wants me to do it to her, but, that I can’t and won’t do, at all.
> 
> We haven’t had sex for the past 2 months , *all because of my nonsense*.


There are two things possible here. You are being a genuine human being and recognizing that maybe there is room for improvement in your thinking. Good on you. Or you are being sarcastic. I hope not. Your wife sees something in you. Recognize that.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

No, I was being genuine and sincere.

I have a habit of being unreasonable sometimes....

It really doesn’t matter what happened before we got together, me thinking it was a big deal was just plain stupid on my part...

I wasn’t exactly being fair, I see that now.

She wants to do oral, but, I don’t think I can go down on her.
That’s the reason I never have given oral, because everyone I’ve been with had prior partners.

But yet I still kiss her. Lol

If I can get past the oral hangup, I think all will be well on the homefront .

Yes, I am curious to finally let her blow me.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> No, I was being genuine and sincere.
> 
> I have a habit of being unreasonable sometimes....
> 
> ...


Well GOOD FOR YOU. I hope you really dig deep to make up for the nonsense, but now that you own it that is half the battle! Bravo good sir! 

Now for the sex problems. Alright, im gonna get personal. I hate oral done on me. Once in a long long while i will want it on the menu, and i usually get off! But i still don't like it much. (i also think it is gross, especially when he wants to kiss after...ew, no thanks... 

But i love GIVING oral. I actually get excited making my husband shake and pant beneath me. Though it may seem degrading for the woman it is actually the man who is vulnerable in that situation. Blow jobs can be fun! But i concur on the female anatomy not being very appealing in the whole sex scene if kissing is involved. 

See a good sex therapist. SERIOUSLY.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

It appears we’ve just grown apart the past few months, things aren’t the same, the feelings are no longer there.

I have no interest in her, or fixing things.

Appreciate the advice from everyone though.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*

Okay. Look up Katy Perry Hot and your cold, you're yes then you're no, You're in then you're out, you're up then you're down. 

Man...I bet your wife is dizzy. But most important and i think you are lacking this detail is counseling. You cant bumble through this like you seem to be.


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Oh well

I’m done with it for good.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Oh well
> 
> I’m done with it for good.


To each his own!

Make sure you let any future girlfriend in on you adversion both giving and recieving oral to advoid this before the relationship get to far along.


Can i ask what about oral you can't get over?


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

Sure you can ask,

I refuse to put my mouth or **** anyplace someone else had theirs.


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## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Sure you can ask,
> 
> I refuse to put my mouth or **** anyplace someone else had theirs.


I am officially convinced you are playing games. you are playing games with either us or your wife. I will no longer play party to either or game.... 

This is just tiresome now. Get help, don't get help... In the end your misery will endure.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

*Re: Won’t do unprotected or oral*



User21 said:


> Sure you can ask,
> 
> I refuse to put my mouth or **** anyplace someone else had theirs.


Hmm,

Ok so whats the problem.
Kick her to the curb and start looking for a virgin.

Why torture youreelf by sticking around?


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## User21 (Dec 14, 2017)

No, not playing any game, wish it was a game though.

Chilli, I believe your right.
That’s exactly what I’m gonna do, thanks!


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