# Wife always makes excuses why she don’t want to have sex with me



## Davie (May 4, 2020)

Hi folks. Sorry it’s embarrassing to me. My wife always has an excuse why she doesn’t want to have sex with me. She’s laughing all night on tik tock I make a move and she says “ no not tonight. Or the other nights it’s I’m sensitive down there. We usually had sex 3-4 nights a week now it’s once every week and a half and I have to initiate everything to get her in the mood. I do get upset because she doesn’t just come onto me. I don’t think she’s feeling me anymore?? Idk.. but she goes to bed and I start downing shots of liquor because I can’t accept this... it’s a self esteem kill and confidence kill. I honestly don’t want to try anymore but I still have needs. Why should I do? Again I’m sorry it’s embarrassing but I feel so low 😢


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

If you’ve been lurking for a bit you already know the standard questions that are going to be asked-

How old are the two of you?
How long married?
Kids and ages?
Depression issues?
When did this start?
What do you do for fun?
Individual or marriage counseling?
Does she orgasm frequently?
Any past infidelity?
Do you go to bed at the same time?
Has drinking been an issue?


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## Davie (May 4, 2020)

I’m 39. She’s 37. I have twin daughters she has a son. This started a couple months ago. For fun I do all sorts of things mainly basketball we play every other day with friends high comp games with people who come from up to 30 miles away to play us. She does oragasm Every 3 times I’d say.she lives to drink with her buddy her mom goes to casino every other week and she tags along comes home at 1-2 am. I don’t sleep well so she falls asleep and I’m usually an hour or two behind her


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## Miss Cloudy (Jul 19, 2020)

Davie said:


> Hi folks. Sorry it’s embarrassing to me. My wife always has an excuse why she doesn’t want to have sex with me. She’s laughing all night on tik tock I make a move and she says “ no not tonight. Or the other nights it’s I’m sensitive down there. We usually had sex 3-4 nights a week now it’s once every week and a half and I have to initiate everything to get her in the mood. I do get upset because she doesn’t just come onto me. I don’t think she’s feeling me anymore?? Idk.. but she goes to bed and I start downing shots of liquor because I can’t accept this... it’s a self esteem kill and confidence kill. I honestly don’t want to try anymore but I still have needs. Why should I do? Again I’m sorry it’s embarrassing but I feel so low 😢


Have you asked her why she's not interested? Do you think she might be hooking up with someone else?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Is the buddy male ir female. Who is she meeting up with at the casino? If that is really where she us going.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Davie said:


> Sorry it’s embarrassing to me.


You needn't apologize. It's embarrassing to the rest of us whose wives don't want to have sex with us. We get it..... we know the excuses far too well.



Davie said:


> it’s a self esteem kill and confidence kill.


Yes, sir, it is. And, I'm afraid I have no answers. If I did, I would apply them to myself.



Davie said:


> she doesn’t just come onto me. I don’t think she’s feeling me anymore??



Yes, I think you have it right. She's not feeling you. There was an abrupt stop two months ago? 

Something, or someone, has taken your place. That's my "take" on it. But I am biased toward thinking that because of my own life and experiences.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Davie said:


> Hi folks. Sorry it’s embarrassing to me. My wife always has an excuse why she doesn’t want to have sex with me. She’s laughing all night on tik tock I make a move and she says “ no not tonight. Or the other nights it’s I’m sensitive down there. We usually had sex 3-4 nights a week now it’s once every week and a half and I have to initiate everything to get her in the mood. I do get upset because she doesn’t just come onto me. I don’t think she’s feeling me anymore?? Idk.. but she goes to bed and I start downing shots of liquor because I can’t accept this... it’s a self esteem kill and confidence kill. I honestly don’t want to try anymore but I still have needs. Why should I do? Again I’m sorry it’s embarrassing but I feel so low 😢


Get counseling. Try and talk to her about what is happening in your marriage.

Try and remember if she has been talking to you about anything for the last year or two before things slowed down in the bedroom.

My guess is she is close to checking out if not already.

She might have been trying to communicate with you about it for a while.

Not always, but many times, a woman has been trying for a long time to talk about her problems in a relationship but the men don't hear.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Davies.....let me see if I understand this......wife gets a new body, exposing herself in selfies in bikinis, she drinks and hangs out with her gfs, she does not come until 1am, and sex life has all but stopped....you got yourself a runaway horse, and if you do not deal with this ASAP, I promise you she will have sex but not with you.....i think you might want to check her phone


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Hell, it is a no brained to figure this one out. She is cheating!


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Hell, it is a no brained to figure this one out. She is cheating!


Why even try, have you seen his other thread... 

OP, why are you doing this to yourself. Do you really not understand what is going on with your wife??? 

Come on man...


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Stop drinking. Never use alcohol as a coping mechanism this will never end well.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Davie said:


> I honestly don’t want to try anymore but I still have needs.


I would simply begin making preparations for an amicable divorce. Make sure you are legally protected and advised before making an announcement to her. Then if SHE wants to reconcile and work on saving the marriage, see what she has to say and take it from there.

I am not advocating divorce, but I am advocating that you position yourself to walk away in order to even begin working on this if there is still a chance.


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## waynejoey (Jun 8, 2018)

Davie said:


> Hi folks. Sorry it’s embarrassing to me. My wife always has an excuse why she doesn’t want to have sex with me. She’s laughing all night on tik tock I make a move and she says “ no not tonight. Or the other nights it’s I’m sensitive down there. We usually had sex 3-4 nights a week now it’s once every week and a half and I have to initiate everything to get her in the mood. I do get upset because she doesn’t just come onto me. I don’t think she’s feeling me anymore?? Idk.. but she goes to bed and I start downing shots of liquor because I can’t accept this... it’s a self esteem kill and confidence kill. I honestly don’t want to try anymore but I still have needs. Why should I do? Again I’m sorry it’s embarrassing but I feel so low 😢


Trying to drown your sorrows in liquor won't work.

Clean up all your junk - no drinking, bad habits, get in shape, make friends, study emotional intelligence, excel at your job, have chores done, love her well, be the prize


Recognize you need a savior - if you and your wife are not in church, then there is no baseline for the truth, there is nothing to hold her accountable, you will be on the carousel of life trying one fad technique after another and none of them will work, or it will work a short while and fizzle out, she needs to know the woman she has been called to be and you likewise need to be the man you were called to be
When you live in the logic of the world you will be buried by it. Tik tok, drinking, porn, emotional affairs, shopping, materialism, arguing, jacking off, binging netflix, the list goes on and on and on

What kind of life do you want? Are you ready to change? Jesus.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I advocate divorce. Man get it over already. When my first wife cut me off from sex, after three months of that I just packed and left her. Best decision ever and there wasn't infidelity at all. You on the other hand, the writing is on the wall.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Rob_1 said:


> I advocate divorce. Man get it over already. When my first wife cut me off from sex, after three months of that I just packed and left her. Best decision ever and there wasn't infidelity at all. You on the other hand, the writing is on the wall.


You are correct sir!!!


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## Jewelz03 (Jun 2, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> Get counseling. Try and talk to her about what is happening in your marriage.
> 
> Try and remember if she has been talking to you about anything for the last year or two before things slowed down in the bedroom.
> 
> ...


You hit the nail on the head. After catching him cheating with 3 different women, I put my guard up. I told him I couldn’t do it anymore. He promised to change and has only become more abusive in every way possible. Yes I do feel like checking out. I’m actually going to counseling because of him and looking into getting a divorce.


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## Jewelz03 (Jun 2, 2021)

ConanHub said:


> Get counseling. Try and talk to her about what is happening in your marriage.
> 
> Try and remember if she has been talking to you about anything for the last year or two before things slowed down in the bedroom.
> 
> ...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Jewelz03 said:


> You hit the nail on the head. After catching him cheating with 3 different women, I put my guard up. I told him I couldn’t do it anymore. He promised to change and has only become more abusive in every way possible. Yes I do feel like checking out. I’m actually going to counseling because of him and looking into getting a divorce.


WOW! Very sorry to hear that and how he has been treating you!


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Jewelz03 said:


> I’m actually going to counseling because of him and looking into getting a divorce.


Just out of curiosity, what ELSE would he need to do to you to make you COMMITTED to getting a divorce instead of just looking into it? Break your nose? I sure hope not.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Sfort said:


> Break your nose? I sure hope not.


According to her in a previous post in response to her husband (the OP), he already did that.


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