# Cheating is bad but is this worse



## BigSur (Mar 27, 2018)

My friend had a 4 year PA with her boss who filed for divorce then dropped and ghosted her the day of mediation. 3 years of total no contact and apparently ex boss is in R. Then he calls my friend. 3 month EA and DDay 2 he drops and ghosts again. Apparently the wife R again. 18 months later he’s back 2 month EA, DDay 3.

Any cheating is wrong and my Friend has now learned a hard lesson but an important one.

My curiosity is why does he keep coming back to her? They live thousands of miles apart, he sends her gifts, keeps momentous of every where they have ever been, why not find someone closer if you are a serial cheat?
Also I think it may be worse for the poor wife to always have it be the same woman than different women. What is your opinion?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Sounds like a happy story to me. Only thing better would be if the dudes wife dumps him. What did she think was going to happen?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BigSur said:


> My friend had a 4 year PA with her boss who filed for divorce then dropped and ghosted her the day of mediation. 3 years of total no contact and apparently ex boss is in R. Then he calls my friend. 3 month EA and DDay 2 he drops and ghosts again. Apparently the wife R again. 18 months later he’s back 2 month EA, DDay 3.
> 
> Any cheating is wrong and my Friend has now learned a hard lesson but an important one.
> 
> ...


He doesn't surprise me. He gets his kicks by keeping one on the hook. If your friend thinks she is the only cheap piece of cheating ass for his slimy pole, she is a larger moron than a stupid home wrecker that keeps being a cheap piece of cheating ass for a sleaze ball's slimy pole.


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## BigSur (Mar 27, 2018)

sokillme said:


> Sounds like a happy story to me. Only thing better would be if the dudes wife dumps him. What did she think was going to happen?


I don’t know why the wife keeps him or my friend wants him. He’s no prize


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

BigSur said:


> My friend had a 4 year PA with her boss who filed for divorce then dropped and ghosted her the day of mediation. 3 years of total no contact and apparently ex boss is in R. Then he calls my friend. 3 month EA and DDay 2 he drops and ghosts again. Apparently the wife R again. 18 months later he’s back 2 month EA, DDay 3.
> 
> Any cheating is wrong and my Friend has now learned a hard lesson but an important one.
> 
> ...


_Because she lets him._

DUH.

Seriously, your friend is a dumb ****.

Then again, so is OM’s wife.

And you can believe that he’s got someone local _in addition to_ your friend.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

BigSur said:


> My friend had a 4 year PA with her boss who filed for divorce then dropped and ghosted her the day of mediation. 3 years of total no contact and apparently ex boss is in R. Then he calls my friend. 3 month EA and DDay 2 he drops and ghosts again. Apparently the wife R again. 18 months later he’s back 2 month EA, DDay 3.
> 
> Any cheating is wrong and my Friend has now learned a hard lesson but an important one.
> 
> ...


*Cheating is always bad and largely inexcusable! 

But what you've so aptly described eclipses insanity!*


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Your TAM moniker is pretty cool 😎 however.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Like all cheaters nether one of them has the first idea what a healthy relationship is all about. Both of them think of love in a completely self centered way. Love to them is about how they feel, it doesn't have anything to do with how they treat the one they love. The best that can be said about this story is that at least in her case she is not stringing someone else along. Not so with this guys wife, but she is dysfunctional too.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You can't fix stupid.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

He comes back because she let's him. She has not value of herself if she's a 3 time loser to this utter dirtbag.

He definitely has side pieces all over the place, not just her. She's just a convenient port in a storm.

Any particular reason you keep her as a friend? She's doesn't sound trustworthy to me.


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## blahfridge (Dec 6, 2014)

Sounds like your friend and this man are addictioned to each other. I've been reading a lot lately about love addiction in affairs because it's what happened to me. The highs have exactly the same affect as you would experience from a drug fix. Your friend needs to understand this if she's ever going to break free of her AP.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

BigSur said:


> I don’t know why the wife keeps him or my friend wants him. He’s no prize


Neither is your friend.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

Your friend is getting exactly what she deserves. Any single person who knowingly has a sexual relationship with a married person can’t be of high moral character, plain and simple. She is being treated by her MM exactly as she should be .... like “a side piece”.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Marc878 said:


> You can't fix stupid.


The corollary...

"Life is tough, but it's tougher if you're stupid."... John Wayne.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

BigSur said:


> I don’t know why the wife keeps him or my friend wants him. He’s no prize


There are many things in life we will never understand.


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## BigSur (Mar 27, 2018)

Good point


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## BigSur (Mar 27, 2018)

I think she’s getting smarter because she’s done with him although that doesn’t change the past


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## BigSur (Mar 27, 2018)

The Middleman said:


> Your friend is getting exactly what she deserves. Any single person who knowingly has a sexual relationship with a married person can’t be of high moral character, plain and simple. She is being treated by her MM exactly as she should be .... like “a side piece”.


I agree with this 99% and the 1% is because he told her and others he was separated.

To me separated still means married. Divorced, widowed or never married to me are the safe catagories unless it’s like 50 or so and never married would give me cause for pause.


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

BigSur said:


> I think she’s getting smarter because she’s done with him although that doesn’t change the past




No. She isn’t. She is temporarily resistant. She has already proven she can’t say no.

If you think her momentary resolve is anything but a house built on sand you are being very naive.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

BigSur said:


> My friend had a 4 year PA with her boss who filed for divorce then dropped and ghosted her the day of mediation. 3 years of total no contact and apparently ex boss is in R. Then he calls my friend. 3 month EA and DDay 2 he drops and ghosts again. Apparently the wife R again. 18 months later he’s back 2 month EA, DDay 3.
> 
> Any cheating is wrong and my Friend has now learned a hard lesson but an important one.
> 
> ...


I've coined this piece of wisdom: "stop being surprised about the weirdest places find value."

Human relationships are counter intuitive anyway. Maybe he likes the familiarity. 

Other than the freebies your friend gets, why does she stay in it. Has she dated anybody else.


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## BigSur (Mar 27, 2018)

I’m not sure about freebies but she dumped him and has been NC since


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