# Visiting a sex worker - cheating on a spouse or not?



## Frithy (May 6, 2020)

Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't see how it is too big of a deal for a man to visit a prostitute. Maybe your wife would feel better if she knew you were visiting many different prostitutes and not just one. If you are just going to the same one over and over, it is like a second wife you are supporting. That's definitely cheating, especially if you do not have the finances to afford it. Maybe you should let your wife know that you are not planning to abandon her for this prostitute and you are not planning to take care of this prostitute as another wife; you are only doing it for sexual gratification.


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## Frithy (May 6, 2020)

Another thing:



ImAnIdiot said:


> Update:
> I approached my wife, I begged to give me a chance to speak, and she can think about it after.
> I told her that I have thought hard in the last few days and I have realized that I was so blinded by my sexual desire that I completely lost my moral value, my dignity and committed this despicable crime against my marriage and ruined my family. The thought of a divorce and a picture of us living apart is killing me, I can't imagine my life without my wife and kids, I now realize that I love her very much, we've spend over 30 years together and it will be devastated to both of us to throw it away. I understand that she probably would not believe anything I say or promise, but I now have realized that I so much cherish this beautiful family that we've built together, if I can get a second chance, I will devote the rest of my life making it up to her.
> She said the wound I gave her is so deep, she's still in so much pain, she needs to think about it.
> That was all I was hoping for.


Don't you think maybe you are giving your wife the impression that it was a lot bigger of an issue than just going to a prostitute? If you are begging on your knees with weeping eyes, it doesn't seem like this was some non-issue to you. You are showing her through your actions that, in-fact, it was a very big deal. Even if she would have been inclined to have brushed it off, your behavior is telling her that it is something very serious. I suspect that is making it much more difficult for her to get over it. You are making her into a victim. At-least, that is my opinion. Like I said, it could be a cultural difference and I'm just not understanding the problem.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

Frithy said:


> Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't see how it is too big of a deal for a man to visit a prostitute.


Yeah, maybe it is a cultural difference. (I don't know what the flag on your profile represents). 

Here in the UK, I have known a marriage ended because the man got a lap-dance. Once.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Frithy said:


> Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't see how it is too big of a deal for a man to visit a prostitute. Maybe your wife would feel better if she knew you were visiting many different prostitutes and not just one. If you are just going to the same one over and over, it is like a second wife you are supporting. That's definitely cheating, especially if you do not have the finances to afford it. Maybe you should let your wife know that you are not planning to abandon her for this prostitute and you are not planning to take care of this prostitute as another wife; you are only doing it for sexual gratification.


It’s cheating!! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It is definitely a cultural difference. American women prefer a penis that hasn't been subjected to a petri dish of bacteria.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Frithy said:


> Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't see how it is too big of a deal for a man to visit a prostitute. Maybe your wife would feel better if she knew you were visiting many different prostitutes and not just one. If you are just going to the same one over and over, it is like a second wife you are supporting. That's definitely cheating, especially if you do not have the finances to afford it. Maybe you should let your wife know that you are not planning to abandon her for this prostitute and you are not planning to take care of this prostitute as another wife; you are only doing it for sexual gratification.


Most women would view this as* grounds for divorce*.
Including, apparently, the OP's spouse (and maybe, even the kids) as well.


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## Tdbo (Sep 8, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> It is definitely a cultural difference. American women prefer a penis that hasn't been subjected to a petri dish of bacteria.


 Yes, he should get that checked before things start falling off the boy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Frithy said:


> Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't see how it is too big of a deal for a man to visit a prostitute. Maybe your wife would feel better if she knew you were visiting many different prostitutes and not just one. If you are just going to the same one over and over, it is like a second wife you are supporting. That's definitely cheating, especially if you do not have the finances to afford it. Maybe you should let your wife know that you are not planning to abandon her for this prostitute and you are not planning to take care of this prostitute as another wife; you are only doing it for sexual gratification.


It's a very big & bad thing to most women if their husband visits a prostitute. One issue is that prostitutes often have STD's. There is also the issue of wedding vows and monogamy It's a form a adulatory.

There are male prostitutes that service women, you know this right? Would you be ok if your wife visits a male prostitute and has sex with them?.


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## secretsheriff (May 6, 2020)

Frithy said:


> Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't see how it is too big of a deal for a man to visit a prostitute. Maybe your wife would feel better if she knew you were visiting many different prostitutes and not just one. If you are just going to the same one over and over, it is like a second wife you are supporting. That's definitely cheating, especially if you do not have the finances to afford it. Maybe you should let your wife know that you are not planning to abandon her for this prostitute and you are not planning to take care of this prostitute as another wife; you are only doing it for sexual gratification.


Because it is adultery and a betrayal. Not to mention the risk of disease.

This isn't a cultural thing. This is a character thing. Thinking it's no big deal to cheat on your spouse is a character failing.


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## secretsheriff (May 6, 2020)

Frithy said:


> Another thing:
> 
> 
> 
> Don't you think maybe you are giving your wife the impression that it was a lot bigger of an issue than just going to a prostitute? If you are begging on your knees with weeping eyes, it doesn't seem like this was some non-issue to you. You are showing her through your actions that, in-fact, it was a very big deal. Even if she would have been inclined to have brushed it off, your behavior is telling her that it is something very serious. I suspect that is making it much more difficult for her to get over it. You are making her into a victim. At-least, that is my opinion. Like I said, it could be a cultural difference and I'm just not understanding the problem.


He is doing exactly what he should be as someone who understand how big a deal betrayal IS

You could do with some self-examination.


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## Frithy (May 6, 2020)

secretsheriff said:


> He is doing exactly what he should be as someone who understand how big a deal betrayal IS
> 
> You could do with some self-examination.


I think I just didn't understand it in your country's context. Where I live, many men go to prostitutes. Their wives know and no one really thinks much of it. Actually, I have friends from all over the world and most of them also have this in their cultures. I have friends from Russia, Ukraine, Pakistan, Morocco, all over. My Russian friend told me when he lived in Australia, they would go get oral sex every day during lunch. Personally, I don't have such a strong sex drive and find the idea of these women a bit gross. However, I have never considered my friends to be cheating on their wives with their actions. Also, so long as it does not become a problem, their wives' don't seem to care too much either. Even my own wife knows I have gone with friends to the brothels and she has never been upset about it. 

-edit for clarity, I went and had massages while my friends took advantage of the other offerings. I've never slept with these prostitutes. I have no interest in this.-

Casual sex between a married man and some random woman is very different than casual sex between a married woman and some random man. It's evolutionary. Men provide protection and resources, women provide exclusive access to their wombs. This is the deal of the sexes. Many women would be angry with a man that didn't want a job, but far less men would be upset about a woman that wanted to stay at home. But, again, this may be cultural. I'm thinking you have a different idea of what the relationship between a man and a woman is. I don't think we should discuss this here. I have said what I had to say and will say no more in the OPs thread.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Frithy said:


> I think I just didn't understand it in your country's context. Where I live, many men go to prostitutes. Their wives know and no one really thinks much of it. Actually, I have friends from all over the world and most of them also have this in their cultures. I have friends from Russia, Ukraine, Pakistan, Morocco, all over. My Russian friend told me when he lived in Australia, they would go get oral sex every day during lunch. Personally, I don't have such a strong sex drive and find the idea of these women a bit gross. However, I have never considered my friends to be cheating on their wives with their actions. Also, so long as it does not become a problem, their wives' don't seem to care too much either. Even my own wife knows I have gone with friends to the brothels and she has never been upset about it.
> 
> -edit for clarity, I went and had massages while my friends took advantage of the other offerings. I've never slept with these prostitutes. I have no interest in this.-
> 
> Casual sex between a married man and some random woman is very different than casual sex between a married woman and some random man. It's evolutionary. Men provide protection and resources, women provide exclusive access to their wombs. This is the deal of the sexes. Many women would be angry with a man that didn't want a job, but far less men would be upset about a woman that wanted to stay at home. But, again, this may be cultural. I'm thinking you have a different idea of what the relationship between a man and a woman is. I don't think we should discuss this here. I have said what I had to say and will say no more in the OPs thread.


Men who are faithful do not go to prostitutes, that is adultery. In fact many would see that as worse than an affair with a woman who isn't a prostitute. Plus the risk of catching an std from someone who gives oral sex is massive. BTW my husband is Australian and good faithful men from any country would not go to prostitutes, nothing to do with culture. That is just an excuse.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Sex with anyone other than your spouse is cheating, whether it is paid for or not. Obviously that may not apply in _some _relationships that are "open" or have otherwise agreed to it, but for most relationships that would be cheating.

I wouldn't say that a prostitute is any better or worse than a ONS or long-term AP. Each situation is different but they are all cheating, all have different issues, and are all terrible things to do.

Plus there is the human trafficking issues and the CSA background that many of those people have. And, you know, the yuck factor...


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Frithy said:


> Men provide protection and resources,


How is risking giving their wives STIs and STDs providing protection? Spending money on prostitutes depletes family resources.

If your friends treat their wives the way you treat yours, I can see why their wives would prefer the husbands to take it elsewhere. Plus, the wives are probably afraid they would be beaten if they objected.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> There are male prostitutes that service women, you know this right? Would you be ok if your wife visits a male prostitute and has sex with them?.


OP. Would you please answer Ele?

I'm curious what you think as well.

Is it ok for your wife to just get good sex from an escort since she would be still taking care of you at home and not in love with them?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

What say you @Frithy ?

If your wife wanted some serious beefcake on the side once in a while, would that be just as acceptable to you?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> OP. Would you please answer Ele?
> 
> I'm curious what you think as well.
> 
> Is it ok for your wife to just get good sex from an escort since she would be still taking care of you at home and not in love with them?


I'm guessing that would be a "no" based on this... 



Frithy said:


> Casual sex between a married man and some random woman is very different than casual sex between a married woman and some random man. It's evolutionary. Men provide protection and resources, women provide exclusive access to their wombs.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

bobert said:


> I'm guessing that would be a "no" based on this...


Yeah. I wanted some direct confrontation on it. Seeing as how it is perfectly recreational and not procreational, I can't see his evolutionary argument.

It's an absurd argument anyway because conversely, a woman could mate with stronger men than her husband to produce stronger offspring while her husband provides.

Pretty nowhere argument he is making.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

P.S. prostitutes are women so according to your argument, they shouldn't be having sex with random men.

Do you even vet your own arguments before saying them?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I’ve had a couple of female friends from the cultures mentioned. The ones where women supposedly are faithful even though their men visit prostitutes.

What they told me was that the women who have husbands like this also cheat, but they do it discretely with men they know. So while the husband is out chasing hookers, she will be screwing the pool boy, her boss, and the husband’s brother.

They aren’t jealous of the hookers, but of course the husbands would definitely be jealous if they knew she was screwing men she knows personally.

So they allow their husbands to believe he is getting it on the side but she isn’t, and since men in these cultures have the bizarre notion that women are inherently faithful it’s easy to get away with it. And of course the men they are cheating with would never confess and usually know the husbands, so these men can easily know when he is out of town.

They mocked how stupid men can be to believe men and women are different when it comes to sex. But they all know to keep all this on the down low so the women confide in each other about their affairs and laugh about their clueless husbands.

Meanwhile, to the public they act like oh yeah men go to hookers it’s just the way men are while we are so faithful, it’s just a cultural thing ha ha ha, all the way to their lover’s bed.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Frithy said:


> I think I just didn't understand it in your country's context. Where I live, many men go to prostitutes. Their wives know and no one really thinks much of it. Actually, I have friends from all over the world and most of them also have this in their cultures. I have friends from Russia, Ukraine, Pakistan, Morocco, all over. My Russian friend told me when he lived in Australia, they would go get oral sex every day during lunch. Personally, I don't have such a strong sex drive and find the idea of these women a bit gross. However, I have never considered my friends to be cheating on their wives with their actions. Also, so long as it does not become a problem, their wives' don't seem to care too much either. Even my own wife knows I have gone with friends to the brothels and she has never been upset about it.
> 
> -edit for clarity, I went and had massages while my friends took advantage of the other offerings. I've never slept with these prostitutes. I have no interest in this.-
> 
> *Casual sex between a married man and some random woman is very different than casual sex between a married woman and some random man. It's evolutionary.* Men provide protection and resources, women provide exclusive access to their wombs. This is the deal of the sexes. Many women would be angry with a man that didn't want a job, but far less men would be upset about a woman that wanted to stay at home. But, again, this may be cultural. I'm thinking you have a different idea of what the relationship between a man and a woman is. I don't think we should discuss this here. I have said what I had to say and will say no more in the OPs thread.


No, there is no difference between women or men having sex with random people. This includes having sex with a male or female prostitute. If men can go to prostitutes or have casual sex because there are sexual things that their wives will not do, then why can't women go to male prostitutes for the same reason. There are many men who are selfish lovers. There are many men who refuse to have sex with their wives. So if a man can go out of a marriage, the woman should be able to as well.

In cultures where women do not have many rights, some men do use prostitutes and think that it's ok for them to do that. In cultures where women are more equal by law and socially, men are held to the same standard that women are held to. It's not acceptable for a married man or women to have sex outside the marriage whether the person they are having sex with is a prostitute or not.

There are prostitutes in very country in the world. There are men who use prostitutes in very country in the world. In the USA there are men who do this. Usually their wife will not stay with them if they find out. 

I've lived all over the world. Few women anywhere accept men going to prostitutes or having casual sex outside of their marriage.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Yes. Sign me up for leaving a man who went to a prostitute.


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## Frithy (May 6, 2020)

All I'm saying is that I think, of my friends that have gone to prostitutes, most are decent guys. Not all, mind you. One guy I knew turned out to be a piece of **** and abandoned his wife and child. Really a terrible guy. I don't know what kind of man could do this. But, anyway, in general, most of them are just normal. 

I've never had an urge for prostitutes and it would be strange for me to fight this battle on their behalf. I'm not emotionally invested in this enough to want that. However, on behalf of my friends, I feel I need to at-least say that many men have done this and I think most are good people that love their families very much. That's all I will say. I'm not looking for a conflict over this. I think we can all be friends.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Really? Hell yes it is.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> There are male prostitutes that service women, you know this right? Would you be ok if your wife visits a male prostitute and has sex with them?.


Naw, I don't think most men are ok with it. Some are, and want to be part of or observe the action. Some don't care. Most are not.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Frithy said:


> All I'm saying is that I think, of my friends that have gone to prostitutes, most are decent guys. Not all, mind you. One guy I knew turned out to be a piece of **** and abandoned his wife and child. Really a terrible guy. I don't know what kind of man could do this. But, anyway, in general, most of them are just normal.
> 
> I've never had an urge for prostitutes and it would be strange for me to fight this battle on their behalf. I'm not emotionally invested in this enough to want that. However, on behalf of my friends, I feel I need to at-least say that many men have done this and I think most are good people that love their families very much. That's all I will say. I'm not looking for a conflict over this. I think we can all be friends.


I think possibly some of the wives of your friends who “don’t care” that they go to prostitute have their own thing on the side. That’s why they “don’t care”.

I understand you are just describing what you are seeing. But what you are not seeing is the women’s actual point of view in this. You are seeing the front that the women put up because they know men in your cultures will never believe the truth, they will always believe that men are one way and women are another way. The women know this and play along because in reality, people who don’t value fidelity can be men or women. It’s just that in your culture the women have to pretend to play along so the men can continue to believe they are the only ones who are complete sexual beings.

Perhaps it is true your wife doesn’t care if you get a massage from a hooker. But it also may be true she has other thoughts about this that she would never share with you because she already knows you don’t see women the same as men. So why bother to change your mind. Much easier to just go with what you think and know the reality for herself without discussing it with you.

That’s how my friends described it anyway. They said men think like you, they think it’s just inherently different for men and women and that men somehow have needs women don’t have. They said they never ever dispute or even discuss this with men because there is no point. So they do their own thing with whatever hot young buck they want (because women don’t have to pay men for sex) and that this is just an unspoken thing the women all have a smirk about.

These women also “love their husbands very much” but the bottom line is that they don’t care if they screw hookers because they are a screwing whoever they want.

One of my friends also said a lot of children are born from a man other than the husband, and that since the husband would never even consider she may have been unfaithful, it’s “not an issue”.

So while these wives are telling your friends oh who cares you go ahead and sleep with hookers it’s no big deal, they know the men will believe this nonsense. That’s very advantageous for the wives that men believe such nonsense.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Wierd, but true story. One of my first accounting firms had one of "those" partners. A good percentage of his clientele were kind of sketchy. So, I get a bookkeeping assignment. Easy peasy for a first year guy. I realize when I get there, that it is a body rub parlor. Fine, its got office space away from activities, and I was just married, and frankly, thanks but no thanks. I mean the ladies were attractive, but not my taste, I guess. So, I get home, and tell my wife where I am working for the next week. Grin across her face, she wants to meet me for lunch. So I mention to the place's manager that my wife is going to meet me. (I really did not want her coming in the front door of the place) Nope, not my girl. Breezed right on in, walks through the place as if she owns it. She was selling cosmetics at the time, and left a catalog. In short, she found customers and got calls from a few other similar operations. I got used to my wife selling cosmetics to "attendants".


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Frithy said:


> I think I just didn't understand it in your country's context. Where I live, many men go to prostitutes. Their wives know and no one really thinks much of it. Actually, I have friends from all over the world and most of them also have this in their cultures. I have friends from Russia, Ukraine, Pakistan, Morocco, all over. *My Russian friend told me when he lived in Australia, they would go get oral sex every day during lunch*. Personally, I don't have such a strong sex drive and find the idea of these women a bit gross. However, I have never considered my friends to be cheating on their wives with their actions. Also, so long as it does not become a problem, their wives' don't seem to care too much either. Even my own wife knows I have gone with friends to the brothels and she has never been upset about it.
> 
> -edit for clarity, I went and had massages while my friends took advantage of the other offerings. I've never slept with these prostitutes. I have no interest in this.-
> 
> *Casual sex between a married man and some random woman is very different than casual sex between a married woman and some random man.* It's evolutionary. Men provide protection and resources, women provide exclusive access to their wombs. This is the deal of the sexes. Many women would be angry with a man that didn't want a job, but far less men would be upset about a woman that wanted to stay at home. But, again, this may be cultural. I'm thinking you have a different idea of what the relationship between a man and a woman is. I don't think we should discuss this here. I have said what I had to say and will say no more in the OPs thread.


Haha - I'm an Aussie, apart from the usual torrid office affairs where people "get a room" at lunchtime, it is most certainly not part of our culture that people run off to hookers at lunch time. Gross.

And there is zero difference btw men and women using hookers. Both are gross and disgusting. It IS cheating. "Forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him/her" remember?



Frithy said:


> All I'm saying is that I think, of my friends that have gone to prostitutes, *most are decent guys*. Not all, mind you. One guy I knew turned out to be a piece of **** and abandoned his wife and child. Really a terrible guy. I don't know what kind of man could do this. But, anyway, in general, most of them are just normal.
> 
> I've never had an urge for prostitutes and it would be strange for me to fight this battle on their behalf. I'm not emotionally invested in this enough to want that. However, on behalf of my friends, I feel I need to at-least say that many men have done this and I think most are good people that love their families very much. That's all I will say. I'm not looking for a conflict over this. I think we can all be friends.


No they're not decent guys. Decent guys don't use hookers.


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## Frithy (May 6, 2020)

This is all becoming very emotional and personal. No one here has ever met those guys and I say they are quite decent fellows. It seems this issue is very emotional for those posting and I want no part of continuing this conversation. So, I will not come back into this post no matter what is said. You can all have at whatever conversation you choose. I'm out.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Frithy said:


> This is all becoming very emotional and personal. No one here has ever met those guys and I say they are quite decent fellows. It seems this issue is very emotional for those posting and I want no part of continuing this conversation. So, I will not come back into this post no matter what is said. You can all have at whatever conversation you choose. I'm out.


Translation: It’s ok to go to hookers when you are married because I say so and no one else can have an opinion.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

A person how uses hookers or has sex outside of marriage is not a decent person. A decent person does not put their spouses health at risk by having sex with people who have high chance of having an STD. Then he goes home, has sex with his wife and infects her. 

A person is only as decent as the worst thing they do.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Nah that's pretty textbook cheating.

PS let me know what culture so I can avoid it.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Frithy said:


> All I'm saying is that I think, of my friends that have gone to prostitutes, most are decent guys. Not all, mind you. One guy I knew turned out to be a piece of **** and abandoned his wife and child. Really a terrible guy. I don't know what kind of man could do this. But, anyway, in general, most of them are just normal.
> 
> I've never had an urge for prostitutes and it would be strange for me to fight this battle on their behalf. I'm not emotionally invested in this enough to want that. However, on behalf of my friends, I feel I need to at-least say that many men have done this and I think most are good people that love their families very much. That's all I will say. I'm not looking for a conflict over this. I think we can all be friends.


Decent guys but ****ty husbands assuming their wives don't know and wouldn't approve. Which makes them ****ty in one of if not the primary responsibilitie of their life. Not to mention if they took vows or are hiding it then they are liars. And also the fact that they are putting their wives health and emotional well being at risk, and the the possibility of their family braking up, so it's their kids too. All so they can get off. 

I guess it depends on what you mean by decent. I guess what you mean by descent they are nice to you and you enjoy their company, hell maybe they can even keep a job. OK but they are pretty ****ty family men.

I mean this is kind of a joke right? Their wives are the primary realationship in their life and they basically betray them so they can have an orgasm. OK dude, yeah they great. /s


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Frithy said:


> Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't see how it is too big of a deal for a man to visit a prostitute. Maybe your wife would feel better if she knew you were visiting many different prostitutes and not just one. If you are just going to the same one over and over, it is like a second wife you are supporting. That's definitely cheating, especially if you do not have the finances to afford it. Maybe you should let your wife know that you are not planning to abandon her for this prostitute and you are not planning to take care of this prostitute as another wife; you are only doing it for sexual gratification.


ok, would you be ok with your wife having sex with the gorgeous Adonis younger male with great body, muscles in all the right places, masseuse she goes to? If you have no issues with that, then good for you. Just remember sex with you afterwards will probably be bleh, that bald head and beer belly, no muscles, sagging skin etc. Some men dont realise the devastation such activities wrought on their wives. They think because there’s no emotion it’s ok, but God forbid their wives were to do the same thing. Hypocrites!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Frithy said:


> All I'm saying is that I think, of my friends that have gone to prostitutes, most are decent guys. Not all, mind you. One guy I knew turned out to be a piece of **** and abandoned his wife and child. Really a terrible guy. I don't know what kind of man could do this. But, anyway, in general, most of them are just normal.
> 
> I've never had an urge for prostitutes and it would be strange for me to fight this battle on their behalf. I'm not emotionally invested in this enough to want that. However, on behalf of my friends, I feel I need to at-least say that many men have done this and I think most are good people that love their families very much. That's all I will say. I'm not looking for a conflict over this. I think we can all be friends.


really? Idont know which culture you are talking about where it is acceptable, could you elaborate? I don’t believe there is any culture in the world where wives would accept this. They accept it cause they don’t know about it or are limited by chauvinistic laws and social norms cause after all the man and his pleasures must come first, what a load of crap!


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

I think it's pretty easy:
-Guy runs around with hookers behind his wife's back. Cheating
-Guy and his wife agree that for whatever reason, the husband can get his "needs" satisfied outside of the marriage by hookers or other women. Not cheating. Not my idea of a marriage and immoral (IMO) but not cheating.

Anyway, to my point above, if it's so normal and expected in your culture, then the husband would be open about it (even if he didn't flaunt it in her face). it would be normal for him to say "oh hey...i'm going to be a little late home tonight as i'm stopping off at the brothel....don't wait for me for dinner". Just like he would do if he were playing cards with his buddies or going shopping.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

JustTheWife said:


> I think it's pretty easy:
> -Guy runs around with hookers behind his wife's back. Cheating
> -Guy and his wife agree that for whatever reason, the husband can get his "needs" satisfied outside of the marriage by hookers or other women. Not cheating. Not my idea of a marriage and immoral (IMO) but not cheating.
> 
> *Anyway, to my point above, if it's so normal and expected in your culture, then the husband would be open about it* (even if he didn't flaunt it in her face). it would be normal for him to say "oh hey...i'm going to be a little late home tonight as i'm stopping off at the brothel....don't wait for me for dinner". Just like he would do if he were playing cards with his buddies or going shopping.


Nah, half of the fun for these guys is thinking they're putting one over on the old lady. The couple operate under the policy of don't ask and don't tell. That way they can maintain a veneer of civility and pretend they have a real marriage. Plus, the husband gets to feel all warm and fuzzy because his wife loves him *SO* much that she allows these little "indiscretions". The minute he's out of the house, she's banging the gardener. It's all smoke and mirrors.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

Blondilocks said:


> Nah, half of the fun for these guys is thinking they're putting one over on the old lady. The couple operate under the policy of don't ask and don't tell. That way they can maintain a veneer of civility and pretend they have a real marriage. Plus, the husband gets to feel all warm and fuzzy because his wife loves him *SO* much that she allows these little "indiscretions". The minute he's out of the house, she's banging the gardener. It's all smoke and mirrors.


I'm sure that's the case but I wasn't trying to say what usually happens. I was answering the OP's question of whether we thought it was cheating or not. "Putting one over on the old lady" means doing it without her knowledge or consent. In other words "cheating" so I think that answers the question.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Actually, the OP didn't start this thread. The first post was a comment he made on another thread and a moderator decided to move related comments to this new thread so as not to thread-jack. Clear as mud, huh.


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## JustTheWife (Nov 1, 2017)

Blondilocks said:


> Actually, the OP didn't start this thread. The first post was a comment he made on another thread and a moderator decided to move related comments to this new thread so as not to thread-jack. Clear as mud, huh.


OK, I wasn't concerned with how the thread was started. The OP's question is: "(is) visiting a sex worker cheating on a spouse or not". If you're saying that's not the OP's question or they didn't write those words then that's between the OP and the forum. We just need to assume that words written here are written by the ID to which those words are attributed.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Frithy said:


> This is all becoming very emotional and personal. No one here has ever met those guys and I say they are quite decent fellows. It seems this issue is very emotional for those posting and I want no part of continuing this conversation. So, I will not come back into this post no matter what is said. You can all have at whatever conversation you choose. I'm out.


Don't start none if you don't want none.


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## secretsheriff (May 6, 2020)

Frithy said:


> Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't see how it is too big of a deal for a man to visit a prostitute. Maybe your wife would feel better if she knew you were visiting many different prostitutes and not just one. If you are just going to the same one over and over, it is like a second wife you are supporting. That's definitely cheating, especially if you do not have the finances to afford it. Maybe you should let your wife know that you are not planning to abandon her for this prostitute and you are not planning to take care of this prostitute as another wife; you are only doing it for sexual gratification.


 Obviously Obviously this is cheating. Look up the definition of adultery in any dictionary on the planet. You have to be intentionally obtuse not to understand that sex with someone beside your spouse is cheating. It's not a culture question. It is a black-and-white yes no obvious answer.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Some people like to point to biology to assert that monogamy is not 'natural,' and thus men (it's usually the men who 'need' to have other partners) have a natural tendency to seek out illicit sex via affairs, prostitutes, etc. The ones who assert this are often like OP - they believe that women are wired differently.

The thing is, biologists tell us that our species is monogamous. We have competing adaptations, though, so cheating is a huge issue in all cultures. And, if we want to use biology as our justifier for stepping outside the monogamous relationship, then the STDs that practices like prostitution expose us to, could be considered biological warnings away from non-monogamous sex. In the not too distant past people died left and right from syphilis, a very unforgiving and miserable STD. These days, we have added AIDS and HPV to the list of biological warnings.

So, in my opinion, nature is trying to tell us that prostitution is dangerous to the health of the species. It is definitely cheating.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Frithy said:


> This is all becoming very emotional and personal. No one here has ever met those guys and I say they are quite decent fellows. It seems this issue is very emotional for those posting and I want no part of continuing this conversation. So, I will not come back into this post no matter what is said. You can all have at whatever conversation you choose. I'm out.


'Decent fellows' don't go round committing adultery on their wives nor expose them to STD's. Nor lie to them nor deceive them. No they are not decent guys nor moral guys nor truthful guys.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

alte Dame said:


> Some people like to point to biology to assert that monogamy is not 'natural,' and thus men (it's usually the men who 'need' to have other partners) have a natural tendency to seek out illicit sex via affairs, prostitutes, etc. The ones who assert this are often like OP - they believe that women are wired differently.
> 
> The thing is, biologists tell us that our species is monogamous. We have competing adaptations, though, so cheating is a huge issue in all cultures. And, if we want to use biology as our justifies for stepping outside the monogamous relationship, then the STDs that practices like prostitution expose us to, could be considered biological warnings away from non-monogamous sex. In the not too distant past people died left and right from syphilis, a very unforgiving and miserable STD. These days, we have added AIDS and HPV to the list of biological warnings.
> 
> So, in my opinion, nature is trying to tell us that prostitution is dangerous to the health of the species. It is definitely cheating.


If we stuck to just biology we would be living in caves, eating with our hands and crapping on the ground. It's just a stupid argument anyway.

We are supposed to rise above our biology or base instincts. Biology is the last excuse of the undisciplined. Hell I bet when a lot of wife's who catch their husband going to prostitutes their biology probably compels them to cut his "head" off right then, no one would excuse that as acceptable.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Frithy said:


> All I'm saying is that I think, of my friends that have gone to prostitutes, most are decent guys.
> 
> 
> .......many men have done this and I think most are good people that love their families very much. .




Then we have to re-define "decency". 

I know that in some Eastern countries ...especially those (in the Middle East) might have a different mentality where they are okay with the double standard. 

Married men are allowed to sleep with other women but married women are not allowed to do the same with men outside the marriage. 

In the modern-day though, this is considered abnormal and if you're having sex with someone outside the relationship (unless it's a mutual accord) then it's considered cheating. 

In Netherlands, prostitution is legalized but a decent married man or woman wouldn't be comfortable with their SO sexing a prostitute and coming back home as if everything is normal. 

No, it's NOT!

Sent from my SM-N960F using Tapatalk


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

sokillme said:


> If we stuck to just biology we would be living in caves, eating with our hands and crapping on the ground. It's just a stupid argument anyway.
> 
> We are supposed to rise above our biology or base instincts. Biology is the last excuse of the undisciplined. Hell I bet when a lot of wife's who catch their husband going to prostitutes their biology probably compels them to cut his "head" off right then, no one would excuse that as acceptable.


But everything HAS to be biology no matter what the behavior is, whether it's base or civilized. It all has got to be biology. That is what is driving our lives in all aspects. All aspects. Otherwise we are dead.

Among other things, our biology tells us to mate and to raise our children. It tells us to stay faithful in order to get the kids to adulthood in some safety. It tells us that infidelity is physically and emotionally painful. It tells us that we can acquire diseases from engaging in sex. It can also tell us to be unfaithful as a response to other needs/desires.

The civilizing tendencies of humans have a biological basis. We are born with DNA that makes us social and thus desirous of civilizing. Our history as a species is one of steady movement toward ever greater civilization of behavior, and this impulse has to be biological.

What I am saying about OP is that you can use the biology argument - in his case, "It's natural to cheat and even if it weren't, prostitutes wouldn't constitute cheating" - to support any position you want to argue. Since it drives everything we do, you can cite it for anything. He can claim that it is man's nature (and thus understandable and OK) to do things like go to prostitutes, and I can say that it's man's nature to prohibit things like prostitution in order to safeguard the species.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

alte Dame said:


> The civilizing tendencies of humans have a biological basis. We are born with DNA that makes us social and thus desirous of civilizing. Our history as a species is one of steady movement toward ever greater civilization of behavior, and this impulse has to be biological.


Yeah, this. It is our species biological nature to learn and conform to the requirements of our cultural environment. Just as we learn our local language. Whatever your tribe does, you will believe is "obviously right" whether it is cannibalism or a burqa.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Hey, it looks as though I can preface any statement with "Maybe it's a cultural thing..." and I can justify anything I want to do, no matter how harmful it is physically and emotionally to those around me.
Swuueeet!


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

alte Dame said:


> But everything HAS to be biology no matter what the behavior is, whether it's base or civilized. It all has got to be biology. That is what is driving our lives in all aspects. All aspects. Otherwise we are dead.
> 
> Among other things, our biology tells us to mate and to raise our children. It tells us to stay faithful in order to get the kids to adulthood in some safety. It tells us that infidelity is physically and emotionally painful. It tells us that we can acquire diseases from engaging in sex. It can also tell us to be unfaithful as a response to other needs/desires.
> 
> ...


See I see it the opposite the whole of human history has been about human beings fighting desperately against our biology. If not for that we are not much more then hairless monkeys.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

What I'm trying to say is that we can't do anything as living creatures - even fighting against our worst impulses, 'fighting desperately against our biology' - that is not a biological act. Everything we do is part of our biology, whether it's bestial behavior or refined behavior. How could it be any other way?

This is how I see it: Our biology specifies that we are social beings. It also specifies that we must protect the social environment in order to protect the species. Our way of protecting ourselves and society is to 'civilize' ourselves, supposedly to counter the impulses that run counter to survival of the species. This process of civilizing is itself part of our DNA. It's not something in the ether somewhere that we access while we live our lives; it comes programmed in.

What we call 'our better angels' are integrated in our beings, just as the less civilized behaviors are integrated. So, we don't fight against our DNA. We use our DNA to civilize the destructive impulses out of ourselves. As time goes on, we are definitely more civilized creatures and this has happened as part of our biological imperative as humans.


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## Laurentium (May 21, 2017)

I think you are both absolutely right!


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> What I'm trying to say is that we can't do anything as living creatures - even fighting against our worst impulses, 'fighting desperately against our biology' - that is not a biological act. Everything we do is part of our biology, whether it's bestial behavior or refined behavior. How could it be any other way?


If we had to rely on our biology then the world would be a real chaos. 

Humans are not monogamous creatures and don't like rules. There would be no laws, no marriages, no religions ...and such. 

That's a totally different perspective which I don't think we should be getting into, in this thread.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

We ARE monogamous creatures. Just because we, in our armchairs, declare that we are not, doesn't make it so. I believe the scientists. All of our behaviors, good or bad, base or civilized, come out of our brains, which means they are biological. Our brains are part of our biology. All of the rules, laws, marriages, etc., are driven as much by our biology as our killing and warring. Lord in heaven.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

The "nature vs nurture" debate has been going on since Hippocrates was alive. Personally, I don't think one can dismiss the nurture aspect on the personality.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

I don't think this is nature vs. nurture. I don't dismiss either side, but even nurture has to be biology, since it occurs in our life cycles.

Otherwise, here you go. Have at it:









Are We Monogamous? A Review of the Evolution of Pair-Bonding in Humans and Its Contemporary Variation Cross-Culturally


Despite a long history of study, consensus on a human-typical mating system remains elusive. While a simple classification would be useful for cross-species comparisons, monogamous, polyandrous, and polygynous marriage systems exist across contemporary human societies. Moreover, sexual...




www.frontiersin.org





EOF


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

A major objection I have to prostitution is that your money is supporting criminal organizations or pimps who systematically exploit women in a way that is similar to slavery. 

In theory I support womens freedom to have sex with whoever they want to, but in practice I don't think the most exploited women even see 25% of the profits, on top of the bondage, intimidation, violence and diseases.

I'm also bothered that prostitutes are treated as non-persons, just the idea that having sex with a prostitute is not sex shows the social death that they suffer. "I didn't cheat because she was not a person"

As for the thread about human nature being inherently monogamous or not, I tend towards our DNA making us culturally flexible, however successful societies all seem to exercise some control of sex.

Personally I would be terrified of what diseases they could have, however I presume I could become addicted to seeing prostitutes just like anyone else.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Stealing from a grocery store or a bank? Is it still theft?

Yes. Yes it is.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Frithy said:


> Maybe it's a cultural thing. I don't see how it is too big of a deal for a man to visit a prostitute. Maybe your wife would feel better if she knew you were visiting many different prostitutes and not just one. If you are just going to the same one over and over, it is like a second wife you are supporting. That's definitely cheating, especially if you do not have the finances to afford it. Maybe you should let your wife know that you are not planning to abandon her for this prostitute and you are not planning to take care of this prostitute as another wife; you are only doing it for sexual gratification.


would you be ok with your wife visiting male prostitute?


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

Frithy said:


> I think I just didn't understand it in your country's context. Where I live, many men go to prostitutes. Their wives know and no one really thinks much of it. Actually, I have friends from all over the world and most of them also have this in their cultures. I have friends from Russia, Ukraine, Pakistan, Morocco, all over.


These are countries with mysogynistic cultures, where women do not have much to day. Doesn't create happy marriages.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> *A person how uses hookers or has sex outside of marriage is not a decent person.* A decent person does not put their spouses health at risk by having sex with people who have high chance of having an STD. Then he goes home, has sex with his wife and infects her.
> 
> A person is only as decent as the worst thing they do.


I agree and disagree with you. 

I feel that sex with sex workers is indicative of a serious problem in a marriage. It is doing something that breaks the trust relationship. It can endanger the health of each. It can be a selfish and destructive act that destroys a marriage.

However, there are a few open marriages, where in moderation, it might not be a problem, if both agree to it. That indeed might be more common in certain cultures. I am not a cultural anthropolgist so I can't say for sure. Marriage should be about commitment to each other.

I have traveled to a lot of places where brothels are either legal or accepted. Yes, trafficking is a serious and horrible crime. In places where brothels are legal, they usually have protocols to make the commercial sex, less dangerous (not perfectly safe). Brothels and sex workers seem to be near universally available.

I am of an age, where I have seen a lot of good and a lot of bad. I have also seen a lot of exceptions. I have been in a sex starved marriage, and been tempted, but instead worked on reconciliation. I don't think that any man should assume he gets to go visit a sex worker on the side and still expect his wife to trust and cherish him, no matter the culture, unless they have discussed it and both agree she is fine with it. 

I assume that sex workers don't feel like they do it for love or companionship. It is about money. The two major reasons for divorce are sex and money problems. Regularly visiting a sex worker would drain a couple's discretionary spending and the sex worker would do all she could to take his money. 

I have been married for almost 49 years and have only had sexual intercourse with one woman, since I was married. Marriage is suppose to be about vows and promises. There is suppose to be trust.


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## secretsheriff (May 6, 2020)

We aren't talking about open marriages. We're talking about doing it without the other spouse's knowledge and consent, but somehow it's okay because "everybody does it."


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I understand the use of sex workers. Not to my taste, but, I will never look down on someone who avails themselves of those services, or those who perform those services. I believe that the oldest profession is a necessity. Don't jump down my throat. It serves well, those men who are not in relationships, but require release. I have done taxes for a couple men in the business as well. I know that married men use such services, and I believe that is dangerous behavior, and disrespectful behavior. Other than that, I have to admit, when it came time for me to pay for university, my dad took me out in his taxicab, showed me the corners on the main drag and what to do if certain women flagged me down. (Polite way to say that some of my familial funds and university monies were made by transporting professionals and their johns in the back of his cab to one of two exceedingly seedy hotels off our main drag). As a matter of fact, I had coffee with several of these women, late night workers have a certain camaraderie, and walk into any 24hr coffee shop after 1 or 2 in the AM and you will discover a world that you never knew existed. So of course, I would buy dinner for one or two, especially the junkies, never seemed to find time between johns and fixes to stuff a burger down their throat. (My dad taught me that you become part of the circle as a driver. Always give back) Consequently when I got engaged, several wanted to see the ring. My wife wanted to meet them too. (my future MIL wanted to go as well, but future FIL was not accommodating) So, I arranged to bring a couple of the senior women to meet my future wife. Consequently, several of my regular ladies were invited to drink and dance on my dime at our wedding.

A little further story, one of the regular girls was an upperclassman of mine. She was in the business to pay for schooling, rent, and food. She surpassed me by getting into a reknowned business school. I run into her now and again at business conferences. She is semi-retired now, lives with a gentleman from Germany, splits her time between Canada and the EU.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Frithy said:


> This is all becoming very emotional and personal. No one here has ever met those guys and I say they are quite decent fellows. It seems this issue is very emotional for those posting and I want no part of continuing this conversation. So, I will not come back into this post no matter what is said. You can all have at whatever conversation you choose. I'm out.


You start this thread, then 'get emotional' when people disagree with you. Seriously if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen and don't start a fire.
Incidentally would you be ok with your wife coming back and telling you, you don't meet my emotional needs in any form so while i want to stay with you raise a family with you, etc I will go to a few other men for this aspect of our marriage which doesn't really fulfill me. The need for sexual gratification is the excuse given for visiting prostitutes cause the wife is not meeting it at home. Emotional needs are equally important for women, so what say you? Ok with her seeking that need and attention from other men? same difference?

Your dp suggests you are from China or some such country I cannot see the flag. It could be you are married to a chinese women and in that culture it is acceptable but not among the middle class anymore. In olden days men had more than one woman to ensure children to continue his legacy. Families would have arranged marriages etc which led to this culture of having mistresses etc. the modern Chinese woman would not be happy with affairs or prostitutes.


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## secretsheriff (May 6, 2020)

Taxman said:


> I understand the use of sex workers. Not to my taste, but, I will never look down on someone who avails themselves of those services, or those who perform those services. I believe that the oldest profession is a necessity. Don't jump down my throat. It serves well, those men who are not in relationships, but require release. I have done taxes for a couple men in the business as well. I know that married men use such services, and I believe that is dangerous behavior, and disrespectful behavior. Other than that, I have to admit, when it came time for me to pay for university, my dad took me out in his taxicab, showed me the corners on the main drag and what to do if certain women flagged me down. (Polite way to say that some of my familial funds and university monies were made by transporting professionals and their johns in the back of his cab to one of two exceedingly seedy hotels off our main drag). As a matter of fact, I had coffee with several of these women, late night workers have a certain camaraderie, and walk into any 24hr coffee shop after 1 or 2 in the AM and you will discover a world that you never knew existed. So of course, I would buy dinner for one or two, especially the junkies, never seemed to find time between johns and fixes to stuff a burger down their throat. (My dad taught me that you become part of the circle as a driver. Always give back) Consequently when I got engaged, several wanted to see the ring. My wife wanted to meet them too. (my future MIL wanted to go as well, but future FIL was not accommodating) So, I arranged to bring a couple of the senior women to meet my future wife. Consequently, several of my regular ladies were invited to drink and dance on my dime at our wedding.
> 
> A little further story, one of the regular girls was an upperclassman of mine. She was in the business to pay for schooling, rent, and food. She surpassed me by getting into a reknowned business school. I run into her now and again at business conferences. She is semi-retired now, lives with a gentleman from Germany, splits her time between Canada and the EU.


This sounds very savvy and sophisticated.

It's actually just gross. Especially for someone who now goes so ruthlessly hard after cheaters.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

aine said:


> You start this thread, then 'get emotional' when people disagree with you. Seriously if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen and don't start a fire.


See my post #39. Perhaps, Lila should have started this thread under her own name rather than put the attributed OP in the hot seat.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

secretsheriff said:


> This sounds very savvy and sophisticated.
> 
> It's actually just gross. Especially for someone who now goes so ruthlessly hard after cheaters.


FIrst of all, I am paid to represent my client, whether they are the cheater or the betrayed. Second, you have misinterpreted my history. My histories are just that, irrespective of guilt or innocence. I wanted to point out that prostitution exists, it should be legalized, regulated and controlled as other vices, Alcohol, Tobacco, Marijuana, Gambling, add prostitution to the mix, tax it, regulate it, ensure medical examinations and safe places to do business. I refuse to take a moralistic stand on this. But thank you for noticing.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> See my post #39. Perhaps, Lila should have started this thread under her own name rather than put the attributed OP in the hot seat.


When I move thread jacks into their own thread, the system picks the earliest thread as the starter/OP. No way to fix that. Sorry.

Eta:. OP was going to be in the hot seat whether I left his post in the original thread or moved it as a thread jack here.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I have a question for the OP. In your culture, what behavior from a wife is seen as incredibly disrespectful and degrading to the husband?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Taxman said:


> FIrst of all, I am paid to represent my client, whether they are the cheater or the betrayed. Second, you have misinterpreted my history. My histories are just that, irrespective of guilt or innocence. I wanted to point out that prostitution exists, it should be legalized, regulated and controlled as other vices, Alcohol, Tobacco, Marijuana, Gambling, add prostitution to the mix, tax it, regulate it, ensure medical examinations and safe places to do business. I refuse to take a moralistic stand on this. But thank you for noticing.


Hahahaha! I think it's gross too bub.😉😁


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> arted this thread under her own name rather than put the attributed OP in the hot seat.


Ok, noted but this was his question about whether it was cheating or not, right?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

aine said:


> Ok, noted but this was his question about whether it was cheating or not, right?


The closest he got to a question was saying "Maybe it's a cultural thing". He doesn't think it's any big deal. Which is why he's in the hot seat.


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## Sdexcalibur (Jun 5, 2020)

I guess it all depends on why you visited the prostitute. Is it because you are getting something you desire but your wife won’t do at home ( anal, oral, etc,) the thrill of it? Closeness.
Around me some wife’s/girlfriend will second think a relationship if going to a strip club gets mentioned never mind a sexual act.
To me and my wife it’s just sex
And is fine. Like going out to eat at a restaurant vs a home cooked meal. As long as it’s just that. No strings attached sex. No gifts, no I miss you texts, strictly for pleasure. My wife has been with other men while married and we are 100% ok with it. I haven’t been with anyone else and that’s ok to it’s my choice. It’s a mindset that most people can’t wrap there head around.

Good luck


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## Wallym (Jun 6, 2020)

Take it from someone that is married and has been with tons of hookers, It's not cheating. Think about how women feel when we sleep with other women. At the end of the day, sex is just skin rubbing together. What really destroys women is the fact that we develop emotional relationships with these women. We tell them we love them and how we can't wait to see them again. That's why women hate it when we cheat. When you get a prostitute, it cuts out all the chit chat and gets straight to the point. I like that I can pay a woman and commit any sex act without having to hear her cry or nag. If she's not down with it then that's fine. I can pay another woman to do it. Prostitutes are not cheating. It's just something to fill a void in your like. You won't develop an attachment to a prostitute. It's just quick and easy sex and then move on.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Wallym said:


> Take it from someone that is married and has been with tons of hookers, It's not cheating. Think about how women feel when we sleep with other women. At the end of the day, sex is just skin rubbing together. What really destroys women is the fact that we develop emotional relationships with these women. We tell them we love them and how we can't wait to see them again. That's why women hate it when we cheat. When you get a prostitute, it cuts out all the chit chat and gets straight to the point. I like that I can pay a woman and commit any sex act without having to hear her cry or nag. If she's not down with it then that's fine. I can pay another woman to do it. Prostitutes are not cheating. It's just something to fill a void in your like. You won't develop an attachment to a prostitute. It's just quick and easy sex and then move on.


So tell your wife and see if she agrees with you. I doubt she will.


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## Wallym (Jun 6, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> So tell your wife and see if she agrees with you. I doubt she will.


She wouldn't agree and I don't blame her. I doubt most women would. Let's be honest, getting a prostitute is looked down upon no matter if a guy is married or is single. If it's legal in the place that it's taking place, I don't see why anyone else would need to know.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Wallym said:


> She wouldn't agree and I don't blame her. I doubt most women would. Let's be honest, getting a prostitute is looked down upon no matter if a guy is married or is single. If it's legal in the place that it's taking place, I don't see why anyone else would need to know.


You seem to lack the ability to have empathy and respect for others. 

I feel very sorry for your wife. I hope she get an STD from you. This is by the way use of prostitutes is often found out by a wife.

I really hope your wife discovers what you have been doing sooner than later.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It would be a different song being sung if the wife was the one enjoying male prostitutes.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

My father told me how in the 60’s in Germany after striking a handshake business deal it was customary to visit the local brothel. I thought he was kidding, he was not.


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