# Self Acceptance???



## marriageinprogress (Jul 7, 2011)

Question:

At what age did you start accepting yourself for all the good and for all your imperfections you have? or have you not gotten to that point yet?

I am hoping to get a lot of responses and thoughts :smthumbup:
Please share.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

I have no impurfekshuns.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

marriageinprogress said:


> Question:
> 
> At what age did you start accepting yourself for all the good and for all your imperfections you have? or have you not gotten to that point yet?
> 
> ...


Tough question. I'm 39 now - and I'd say I'm still working on it.

Thought I was pretty happy with "me" - then wife has a MLC or SOMETHING - so I start to wonder how much was "me" v. "her."

I now think it was mostly her - but now that I'm staring divorce in the face - I'm asking NEW questions about myself.

I think its a constant work in progress.


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## marriageinprogress (Jul 7, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> I have no impurfekshuns.


As I expected. "Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way."
:lol:


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

I'm 39 to and I have lots of minor issues but I always have - mostly self esteem related. I think it's just part of my wiring and will always be there. I don't beat myself up over it, I just try to understand it and realize that my opinion of myself can be tainted. 

I accept myself for what I am, but it doesn't make the deep seated issues or mild depression go away, it just means that I know they are there and have some idea of how to manage them.


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## HappyAtLast (Jan 25, 2010)

For me, it's always a work in progress...all of our choices, experiences, environment, etc. mold us into the person we are, for better or worse, so I think it takes a long time to accept yourself, even if you've changed for the better.
Just my 2 cents.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I always did accept myself for the most part. Yeah, here and there I question myself but I never went through a phase where I hated or disliked what I am. Sure, there were moments where I thought one thing or two about me was an inconvenience but otherwise I was always cool about it. But like others have said, work in progress...still getting to the point where I'm 100% comfortable.


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## marriageinprogress (Jul 7, 2011)

I agree that self acceptance is a work in progress. I was just curious if anybody had a moment in there life where they learned to accept themselves.. had one of those ah, ha moments!

I tend to be sooo hard on myself, always thinking I can improve and be better. To a certain extent I think it is a good quality but I take it too far.


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## charlene (Jul 21, 2011)

There is no such point .... in married woman's life. While in most man's life this point is pretty much since puberty.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

charlene said:


> There is no such point .... in married woman's life. While in most man's life this point is pretty much since puberty.


Ah if only that were true... A lot of us guys are just good at bluffing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

We’ve to know our self before we can accept it! And as we are constantly changing our self is a moving target. Self awareness is the thing.


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## charlene (Jul 21, 2011)

sigma1299 said:


> Ah if only that were true... A lot of us guys are just good at bluffing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hope that's true


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

charlene said:


> There is no such point .... in married woman's life. While in most man's life this point is pretty much since puberty.


Oh C'mon! That's not fair! Look how many men here have given totally reasonable answers!


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

Something clicked for me when I was about 33. I'm going on 41 in a couple of weeks. But, I've been told I'm an old soul so maybe that has something to do with it. Lived many lifetimes in my short life and all that, and with experiences come wisdom... or at least it should. lol


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

AFEH said:


> We’ve to know our self before we can accept it! And as we are constantly changing our self is a moving target. Self awareness is the thing.


We have a winner!

That said, the rate of change tends to slow (it has in my case anyway), so the target is easier to observe.

For me I had a real moment after I left the Army. I'd done a lot of soul-searching before I did, and the all the inner conflict affected how I thought about myself before I left and immediately after.


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## charlene (Jul 21, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Oh C'mon! That's not fair! Look how many men here have given totally reasonable answers!


i see that ,i'm glad you proove me wrong


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## TimeHeals (Sep 26, 2011)

I prefer Erikson's term "Ego Integrity":

Ego integrity - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

For me, this got stronger in my thirties, and then I entered a comfort zone in my 40s, so my sense of self seems to have been improving over the last 20 years.

I was a mess in my 20s


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## newwife07 (Jan 11, 2011)

The first time I did was when my first boyfriend dumped me, at age 20... Such good memories of the years that followed that initial heartache! I just LOVED being single!!


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Imperfectly Perfect

and

Work in Progress.


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## TwoDogs (Jul 29, 2011)

Probably about age 45. So, not that long ago.

I don't confuse self _acceptance_ with believing that nothing about me needs to be changed, however. For me it's more like "Hey, I'm okay, flaws and all" and I continue to work on the things that need improvement.

It goes like this: awareness ---> acceptance ---> action.


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