# I cheated first and them he got back at me? Can we really work?



## youngandmarried (Oct 6, 2010)

I did the wost thing possible and cheated on my fiance and lied about it and got married anyway. It all came out 3 months after our wedding and he moved out right away. Well I really didn't think he would EVER forgive me, and as soon as I accepted it about 2 months after tryin everything possible, he comes back and makes me fall in love with him all over again. A few days go by then he tells me he slept with someone and feels horrible and now realizes the guilt I feel. 
Well I would be a hypocrite if I didn't forgive him but it still really hurts. Well my feelings about falling back in love and all the progress I was doing just disappeared and I don't know how to get back to that. We both love each other so much but now I don't know how to move past this and for it to be ok again. I was doing pretty good getting my life on track when I accepted it was over but he wooed me again and then brought me right back down. He doesn't want to move back in right away and is still leaving me with the responsibility with our kids and I kinda resent him for that. If he wanted to work it out then he should be back home but it seems like he likes his freedom to do what ever he wants and I still have all the responsibitliy. 
How do we ever fix this and how do I go back to the person that I was before I found out what he did. I am so confused and amd sick of crying everyday


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

you both have resentment, so you will need help in getting through that (talk to a MC) 

why did you cheat? what was wrong with the relationship when you cheated? 

Remember, the cheating is not the cause of the problems, the cheating was the end result of an unresolved issue between the both of you. Look at it that way and you may beable to find the cause and then finding a solution in either repairing the marriage or moving on. Granted there are those ONS in a drunken stuper, but still what was the thought process behind the event, what generated the idea to go and cheat and start this unhealth circle.
In short find out how this all started then move on from there.


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