# Seaprated, one day feeling great, the next moment :(



## Flowerbloom (Jan 18, 2018)

Hello everyone,

I have been with H for 13 years. Married 10 this year. We have 3 kids, aged 3-7. We started having problems right at the beginning of the marriage. Mostly financial. He wasn't financially responsible. I tried dealing with it in a respectable manner but I got frustrated and started getting very disrespectful in dealing with it. Then he cheated because I was not giving him the respect he needed. I went back home and 6 months later we reconciled. At that time we had only 1 child who was almost one. 

Other things were happening that got us fighting all the time, if things were broken in the house, he didn't even seem to be seeing them, there were a lot of late bill payments no payments at all to a point where I had to always be responsible. I mostly felt like I was the mother and he was the son who always had to be told what to do and when to do it and he still didn't and mom would now have to be angry and bitter while doing it herself. 

We had a lot of issues with girls, where I felt he had a lot of female friends (blame it on insecurities after being cheated on) And I felt most of the time he was lying about friendships. Then 3 years ago he started acting up weird again, I checked his phone and realised he was back with the girl who almost assisted in causing our divorce in 2010. I was in a state. Oh back in 2010 the girl fell pregnant and aborted. So when I asked him why he went back to her, he said I never gave him time to deal with the loss of their child and felt there was unfinished business. He felt the girl gave him more respect than me and she also took very good care of herself physically. Im obese. I wasnt when we met, but after 3 kids Im almost 100lbs overweight. Its my own fault there. Its also been a really celibate marriage really. Even when everything seems fine, we wouldnt be intimate.

So since 2015, every October we seem to have big fight and separate. Last year the same fight happened, where the girls comes up from me and I never really could get where his resentment came from. But last year he told me I am the reason his career is not going well as well as the fact that I bought everything, the cars we own and the house we live in. 
HOnestly I have been mothering him financially and yes I take the blame. But after this fight, I felt like all this was becoming too much for me. He asked for a separation, I was already thinking permanently. Im still there. But it hurts. MOst times I feel this is the best thing for me and for him. He will rebuild his life the way he wants to live it and I will do the same with mine. 

But why does it hurt, when I really feel theres is no failure in us separating?


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## lala911 (Feb 23, 2018)

Im sorry that you feel this way. He is putting his own needs before the needs of his family. It's going to hurt because this is how you grow as a person. Let god take the wheel and let him navigate you to a better life. Have faith and trust in god. He will show you how to get through this if you pray for him to guide you. I see the messages clearer and clearer each day. XOXO


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

God dosen't take the wheel he gives you the courage the steer the ship yourself!


This guys a bum. Give him the boot


Start eating right and exercise . 100lbs over weight... come on thats no way to live


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