# Why won't my wife stop complaining about my premature ejaculation?



## JeeseP (Sep 30, 2012)

I've always viewed intercourse as something that is more for the man,than the woman.I always make sure my wife has an orgasm before sex.I use my tongue,hands,fingers,etc.She always orgasms,sometimes more than once.The intercourse usually lasts anywhere from 25 seconds to a minute.Shes been complaining about that,she isn't being very understanding.Is giving her 6 or 7 orgasms before the start of sex the key to her being satisfied and stop complaining?


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

She must enjoy the sensation and want more. Have you tried wearing condom to dull the sensation?


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## JeeseP (Sep 30, 2012)

indiecat said:


> She must enjoy the sensation and want more. Have you tried wearing condom to dull the sensation?


Everybody always says "Use a condom"is a way to treat premature ejaculation.But that's just it it "dulls the sensation".Think about that.Many forms of premature ejaculation control involve the pleasure being reduced for the man which I think is a little unfair.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

She is likely upset because she wants you inside her longer. She may want you to try to make her orgasm vaginally (if you haven't already). Intercourse is for both the man AND the woman. Why on earth would you think it is more for the man? We women, even if we don't orgasm vaginally, enjoy the sensation of having a man inside us. Are you able to go more than once? If so, do you have PE each time or are you able to prolong it the second time? 

Yes, condoms, and even creams dull the sensation... which makes it last longer. Kind a the point. But, see if there is something you can do/use which won't dull the sensation and still prolong it.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Sometimes the women just want a good , hard pounding......
Something she could remember tomorrow after you've left for work.

Just sayin.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> I've always viewed intercourse as something that is more for the man


Err... wat now?


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Get medical treatment. The PDE inhibitors, like viaga and some of the psychiatrtic medications can significantly prolong your staying power. 

On a side note. Your lack of appreciation for her desires here are pretty self centered.


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

You could learn doing kegel and edging. It will help you without "dulls the sensation".
PE is usual when young, and slim. Being fat, help you go longer.


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## [email protected] (Sep 27, 2012)

I also have the similar issue..But with some counseling & advice that i got,Now i"m able to hold it up for lil longer..But without foreplay i would still last with 10 mins time.Avg 6,7 mins


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## johnnycomelately (Oct 30, 2010)

JeeseP said:


> I've always viewed intercourse as something that is more for the man,than the woman.


Therein lies your problem. I am shocked by that statement, in fact I find it hard to accept you are being serious.

Every married person has the right to a decent sex life. If you have a problem and can't live up to that obligation, it is your duty as a husband to seek treatment.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Sometimes the women just want a good , hard pounding......
> Something she could remember tomorrow after you've left for work.
> 
> Just sayin.


So very true... 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

JeeseP said:


> Everybody always says "Use a condom"is a way to treat premature ejaculation.But that's just it it "dulls the sensation".Think about that.Many forms of premature ejaculation control involve the pleasure being reduced for the man which I think is a little unfair.


So wear one until she's hapy then take it off and enjoy your sensations!


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

hey - im assuming here that NOBODY likes to feel sexually inadequate. Holy crap. So - sorry if you feel that way.

It may not be easy - but have you tried to get her on your team here and work with you on this?

Lets face it - practice could be fun - _even if_ you are popping off early. Tell her that you want her help. That its going to maybe take some time - and yeah you are going to keep popping off in 30 seconds - but maybe between the two of you - you can change it a little. That you love being inside her.

There was another thread about this recently and I think I said the same thing. Have you tried the 'plunge in and sit there' method?

It doesnt have to be boring. In fact - it can be exquisitely, gloriously, dizzyingly difficult to do. Make out. Run your hands over each other, in her hair. Grind a little when you need to. You may still fire off anyway, but I bet once you start focusing and regulating your motion and figuring out what works and what sends you over the edge - maybe you will both find it no worse than what you have now. This goes for her too... she may have the insatiable urge to grind and buck and grab your a$$ and pull you in. So you both need to be on board.

Nothing wrong with racing for the finishline when the need strikes. She should encourage this too - I think that part is important. Its OK to cum - really - the last thing you or she should be thinking is "oh no, not already". This isnt about 'fixing' something that is broken, this is about increasing pleasure for everyone involved you and her.

I have zero experience in this area - just some thoughts that popped into my head.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> Sometimes the women just want a good , hard pounding......
> Something she could remember tomorrow after you've left for work.
> Just sayin.


Unhelpful.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

JeeseP said:


> Many forms of premature ejaculation control involve the pleasure being reduced for the man which I think is a little unfair.


I agree with that.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Instead of getting her off several times before you (and meanwhile you're just building up pressure to release yourself), can you get of once first, get her off a coupe of times and then engage in intercourse again when you are less likely to ejaculate quickly?

Question... how often do you have sex?


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

anotherguy said:


> Unhelpful.


but true...


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

JeeseP said:


> I've always viewed intercourse as something that is more for the man,than the woman.


That was your first mistake.




JeeseP said:


> I always make sure my wife has an orgasm before sex.I use my tongue,hands,fingers,etc.She always orgasms,sometimes more than once.The intercourse usually lasts anywhere from 25 seconds to a minute.Shes been complaining about that,she isn't being very understanding.Is giving her 6 or 7 orgasms before the start of sex the key to her being satisfied and stop complaining?


Why am I getting a strange feeling of deja vu with this thread...

Oh that's right, it's nearly a word for word replay of a thread from a couple months back featuring the exact same problem, the exact same situation with the wife, and the exact same comments about condoms and desensitization.


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## Sbrown (Jul 29, 2012)

JeeseP said:


> I've always viewed intercourse as something that is more for the man,than the woman.I always make sure my wife has an orgasm before sex.I use my tongue,hands,fingers,etc.She always orgasms,sometimes more than once.The intercourse usually lasts anywhere from 25 seconds to a minute.Shes been complaining about that,she isn't being very understanding.Is giving her 6 or 7 orgasms before the start of sex the key to her being satisfied and stop complaining?


Do you NOT want to last longer????


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Maybe think about the condoms, you could use condoms everyother time.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

No orgasm compares to having one with penetration... I know what your wife is going through. Its tough. Sometimes we just wanna be pounded...hard!


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

JeeseP said:


> I've always viewed intercourse as something that is more for the man,than the woman.I always make sure my wife has an orgasm before sex.I use my tongue,hands,fingers,etc.She always orgasms,sometimes more than once.The intercourse usually lasts anywhere from 25 seconds to a minute.Shes been complaining about that,she isn't being very understanding.Is giving her 6 or 7 orgasms before the start of sex the key to her being satisfied and stop complaining?


Intercourse should be about both people in a loving relationship. Men on average need it more often, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be about both of you.

As for your issue, a few comments come to mind. First, maybe try once or twice without going down on her first. You could be building yourself up to much by pleasuring her that when it's your turn you are already overstimulated, thus leading to an early finish. I had that problem with my ex-wife actually. 

I'd actually talk to your wife about this (if you haven't already) and see if she thinks its as big of an issue as you are saying. You may be right, howver I bet your wife wouldn't have a huge issue with this if at least some of the time you could last longer. At least you are trying to give her hers as well and not just hopping on and off, leaving her high and dry. 

Many men and women do want sex to last longer because of the closeness. While orgasms are great, there's a special bond that comes from being inside your wife (or having your husband inside you I'd imagine) and looking each other in the eyes, kissing, breathing heavily in each others ears, etc. that comes from regular sex. Your wife won't get those feelings from you going down on her, and likely that's something she wants, at least some of the time. 25 seconds - one minute really doesn't give her that closeness I'd wager.

It likely doesn't have to be an everytime thing, just sometimes.



JeeseP said:


> Everybody always says "Use a condom"is a way to treat premature ejaculation.But that's just it it "dulls the sensation".Think about that.Many forms of premature ejaculation control involve the pleasure being reduced for the man which I think is a little unfair.


It's only unfair if it's all the time. It's a little unfair to think your wife should just deal with it on an issue she's complaining about as well. As I said above, you don't have to use the condom, or a desensatizing cream, everytime most likely. But sometimes it would be nice for your wife. Maybe you can work out a system for when she's ok with the type of sex you have now and for when a longer vaginal intercourse session is in order.


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## Eco (Mar 9, 2012)

The sensations of sex and the connection during love making are the very reasons that I enjoy savoring it! Sex for 25 seconds?!?!? I just did the math and that means that for every time you have sex with her, I've spent 108 times longer inside my partner...sounds to me like you are cheating your selfish self out of some mindblowing sensations that you just can't build up to in only 25 seconds.

If you had the chance to experience how a gradual buildup that doesn't instantly lead to orgasm but instead progressively builds higher and higher will result in something far more amazing FOR YOU (since apparently that's really what sex is about FOR YOU).

As far as your partner....she wants you inside her, she doesn't just want to get off. She could do that alone, and probably a lot better than you can do it for her. You are missing the entire point of love making.


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## Cre8ify (Feb 1, 2012)

She won't stop complaining because it is important to her....

which means it is important to you...

no matter how hard it is to wrap your head around...

if you can't find a way to meet her need for deeper intimacy...

her desire will not magically go away...

she may find it with someone else.

This is more opportunity than problem. Have a great time solving it because you will need way more sex to not start out pent up!


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## Cre8ify (Feb 1, 2012)

Afterthought--I forgot the secret weapon--Recharge for 15-20 minutes and get back in the game!


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Well I never, or at least extremely rarely have a problem if I'm on my back or we are on our sides.

When I'm on top I have more problems exerting control. If I just let myself go it would be all over in a minute or less.

I find that once I hold back that first initial need for orgasm, even sometimes stopping for a short while to regain control I am then good to go for a prolonged period.
Changing speed or repositioning my self also help.
Where the big problem arises, and may be difficult for you at first is (if your wife is like mine) that as she nears orgasm she likes that whatever I am doing I keep doing. So same thrusts in same position at same speed, and that can really involve me in some mind blowingly difficult holding back scenarios.

So just really practice holding off on orgasm even if you have to stop to regain control.


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## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

My two cents, didnt feel like reading everyone elses comments right now. This can go a lot of ways but there is definitely a problem with this that has a solution.

You could mb before you think you two will have sex or that day. Usually when you crank one out prior or even that day, when you get to it its easier to manage. Its like warming up and stretching before you workout lol.

If that doesnt work then you are going to have to train urself to stand strong even after the first one you. Its not hard, its all mental. I had an ex that I use to have this problem with, just something about her I couldnt last long. To counter that I would just crank it out, myself all real quick and hop right back in like I never left. It takes a lot focus to train your body to do this but it is possible. 2nd or 3rd time around is always easy after the 1st one is done, you should generally last longer.

Condoms wont really change anything. You're right, its does desensitize things. Just not the same as skin on skin and it sometimes dries a woman out.

You could always do what you normally do but start with one unless she gets off quick. No more than 2, dive in, do it again once or twice and dive back in for round 2. 

All in all, since you are like this you have to train yourself (Penis) to come back just as strong if you just cant hold out long enough. Are you going in like a jack rabbit or slow strokes kill you too? Do certain positions make it happen faster?


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## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

Ano said:


> No orgasm compares to having one with penetration... I know what your wife is going through. Its tough. Sometimes we just wanna be pounded...hard!


Found out its call an "A-Spot". Strong than a "G-spot" and clitoral orgasm combined.


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