# Husband Midlife Crisis



## PixyT (Jul 24, 2013)

As I sit here I feel shattered and emotionally bruised. 
We got married when I was 18 and he was 20 and have been married for almost 20yrs now. I was pregnant and we struggled in the beginning he was prone to violent outburst, punching holes in doors etc. He went for counseling and it stopped, he is also a workaholic and has cheated on me twice.
For the last two years things in our family have been very stressful our son have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. He went away on a work trip for two weeks and came back telling me that he doesn't like or enjoy our children. Our 13yr old daughter is really a great child, our son is difficult and it makes things complicated. 
During the week he told me that I am not exciting enough and that I dont challenge him. I am having a hard time keeping my head above water between work, the kids and his demands. I slipped up on a few admin things that he wanted me to do for him (get his car licensed being one of them) he now claims that I dont see him as a priority in my life. We had a long talk and came to the conclusion that he needs to find something to do outside of work and home. He doesnt have any friends as he works impossible hours (and that is his choice he is a workaholic and that wont ever change) I suggested he takes up golf he isn't keen on that. He now wants us to go clubbing. I am in my late 30's he will be 40 next year. I don't want to go clubbing, but I feel as though I have to. 
I just feel so shattered confused and very very scared. Ive been through so much with this man. I love him. He suggested that maybe he should move out for 3 months to find himself. When I said okay he got upset because his life would become so lonely he wont have any company at night. One moment he wants to be home with us and the next he claims that I am holding him back and stiffing him, that I didn't grow with him, that we don't have anything in common. We have 20 years, two kids an entire household in common. 
I just don't know what to do.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Sorry you are going through this. I really know how tough it can be. Your best bet is to get into counseling before things get beyond repair. He doesn't need to move out; that will be giving him too much freedom.


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## PixyT (Jul 24, 2013)

He doesn't want to go to for counciling, he says it makes him feel bad about himself. I am going to go though, I think it will give me the courage and confidence to face whatever may come.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

That's what I ended up doing only after the horse was out of the barn. I never could have gotten through the really tough days without my therapist. Always leave the door open for your husband to join you in counseling.

Hope things get better for you.


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