# you get over the "He's just not that into you"



## pleasecoffee (Jun 18, 2015)

I know, I should just deal with it. But one guy I can't get off my mind. The sick thing is I never met him, only through talking on the phone and texting, then he ghosted. This is behavior of a 14 year old love sick puppy, not a 36 yo divorced mother of two. I erased his # from my phone to make sure I don't call or text. 

Basically, how do I get over this stupid thing?


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## Loveofmylife921 (Jun 28, 2015)

Find someone who cares about you! And won't ghost on you! He can help you forget!!


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## bkyln309 (Feb 1, 2015)

It takes time. I have a man who has been on and off with me (in person) for months now just poof! I miss him like crazy but I did the same thing. I deleted all his contact information. 

Men who are interested chase (aka keep in touch). Keep telling yourself if he really liked you, you would hear from him.


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## Juarek (Jul 14, 2015)

Ask yourself if you deserve this. Would you do the same thing to someone you were into? Probably not. Don't waste your time on someone like this. You're a divorced mother. This tells me you're a strong woman and at one point in your life you knew what you wanted. Where did that go? Perhaps it's still there but you need to reflect on that. Focus on the things that matter in your life, like yourself and your children.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
When you don't know much about someone, it is easy to fill in the details with what you *want* them to be, not what they are. The little information becomes a frame onto which you mount a fantasy. The person you are imagining never existed. Just file them away with all of your other pleasant fantasies.


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## pleasecoffee (Jun 18, 2015)

“He’s just not that into you if he’s disappeared on you.”

…Duh. (Save your dignity and just never talk about him again. Ever.)


this for me is the hardest thing.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Who long did the phone and text relationship go on?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

You're doing the right thing to talk about it in cyberspace. That way you don't have to worry about your friends in real life ridiculing you for something that probably they have done as well.

How do we get over someone? by getting busy.

I know, easier said than done.

But ok, you never met him, only talked to him. I'm trying to remember if this has happened to me. The first time I did online dating, a guy with a hot picture contacted me. Sent me messages but never bothered to take it to phone. I finally convinced myself that he wasn't real and moved on.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

This gets easier with time. In a year when someone ghosts you you'll just shrug and go "next". The best thing to do when online dating is learning to compartmentalize quickly That will come in time


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## STONORIVER (Apr 5, 2015)

You can't allow yourself to get too invested in someone before you meet in person. As others said, you're fantasizing about what they "could" be based on a small amount of information and connection. 

And even in the early stages of dating, a lot of people are multi-dating so you can't be too shocked when they ghost on you after a couple of dates either, since they may have been in a more advanced stage of dating someone else before they even met you! 

My problem now is that I've been dating someone casually over 6 months and want to move it to the next level (the exclusive talk). When we are together I get signals that he's totally into me but then we'll go 2-3 weeks without seeing each other (we do live 50 mins apart). Wouldn't you think if he was "into me" he would naturally want to spend more time? 

I've been reading many dating stories on here and some people seem to jump right in with spending 3-4 nights a week - or more! - together in the first month of dating. Seems a bit much for me personally - way too fast. But once every 2-3 weeks? Not enough to start building something.


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## Loveofmylife921 (Jun 28, 2015)

I don't know if you ever get over that when you truly love someone who is no longer in to you. But with never meeting them and only talking for a few days. How in love with them can you be. Probably just infatuated with the idea of being with someone new. But the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Stay strong. Someone who is in to you will come along. Or maybe already in your life.


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