# Overheard Conversation



## Hollyhock (May 11, 2021)

Overheard my husband talking to his brother last night ....about me and my current weight. He laughed a bit describing me trying on my size 18 clothes that no longer fit. While I know my hubby likes me heavy...and I’ve always been pretty plump... I didn’t really get that he’d ever discuss it with his brother! We are in our fifties and empty nesters and married 30 years. Should I own up to what I overheard?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

That’s pretty callous. Clearly it’s bothering you so I’d mention it to him. If he’s not a jerk he should be offering up a huge apology.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

You have been posting similar threads. I think that you need counseling for your self image issues. While you don’t like your weight... the fact is that your the person that has to deal with it. It isn’t anyone else’s doing. Yes it is hurtful to hear someone say something but the way you internalize it is yours to own.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Maybe part of why he likes you heavier is he thinks no one else will find you as attractive then. Wouldn’t be the first time a man has encouraged his spouse to maintain an unhealthy weight so no one else gives her attention. 

Yes, I would tell him you heard what he said and ask why he claims he’s happy with every extra pound and yet laughs about you trying to fit into your current size.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I would tell him you overheard what he said and it hurt your feelings. Don't let it fester.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Did you overhear the conversation or were you listening in? What if he had listened in on all the conversations you've had?


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## Hollyhock (May 11, 2021)

Al_Bundy said:


> Did you overhear the conversation or were you listening in? What if he had listened in on all the conversations you've had?


I guess I was more listening in. That’s why I feel upset with myself too.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Hollyhock said:


> I guess I was more listening in. That’s why I feel upset with myself too.


It doesn't make it burn any less hearing it but if he otherwise treats you fine then I'd say let it go. After all, have you never said anything about your relationship to anyone else over the past 30yrs? You've been together a long time, longer than most. You more than anyone else should know if this is a hill worth dying on.

As others have mentioned it might not be a bad idea to seek out some individual help around your self image. At least talk to someone, sister, friend, etc.....

Best of luck


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

If I heard my husband badmouthing me to anyone, I would go postal and rip them both a new one, and throw them both out of the house..


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

well....you know that being overweight is VERY bad for your health.
it usually is bad for your sex life also, if for no reason other than a technical "how can you get on top?" reason.

Do you think that you might want to try to lose weight? Maybe he needs to lose weight also? Maybe just the process of trying would make you happier (aerobics, weight lifting, walks/hikes, playing sports)?

i am pretty overweight too, and have plenty of reasons why i should not be. but i am TRYING to lose it. i just signed up to a gym again, and am going. And just knowing that i am trying to get better, has really improved my attitude too.


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## Louise1 (May 23, 2021)

Hollyhock said:


> Overheard my husband talking to his brother last night ....about me and my current weight. He laughed a bit describing me trying on my size 18 clothes that no longer fit. While I know my hubby likes me heavy...and I’ve always been pretty plump... I didn’t really get that he’d ever discuss it with his brother! We are in our fifties and empty nesters and married 30 years. Should I own up to what I overheard?


Absolutely- tell him and see what his reaction is. After 30 years you will know what his reactions mean and you can deal with which way it will go then. Good luck


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