# feelings for sister in law



## retodd

ok so the wife and i are seperated but are still living in the same house. My wife cheated on me with one of our friends and wont stop doing what she is doing. ok so on with the subject. Her sister is leaving her husband cause of abuse and she moved in with us. I have always had feelings for her and my wife knows this. We discussed it after we seperated. but with her sister leaving with us her and myself are hanging out more cause she works days like me and the wife works nights. Spending two weeks with her has shown me that we have alot in common and can have a great time together. Then one day i was really ticked off about the wife seein this guy and my sister inlaw had me go for a walk. so while walking i texted my sister in law and asked her if i could tell her something but might make things awkward. She said no. And later that evening she told me that we are really good friends and we vent to each other and get along really good so she doesnt want to mess that up for now. 
Should i just tell her how i feel or should i just stop thinking about her?


----------



## Blanca

well i think you're in for a world of hurt if you decide to go for the sister-in-law. try being single for awhile and dating a lot of people. you need more experience, i think.


----------



## retodd

She has recently found her own place. but we still hang out cause she loves to play rock band and i own it. But i can dismiss my feeling just needs some advise. My wife has told me if anything ever happens between us then she will never forgive me. But in my eyes she did this to me. She had an affair with some one i considered my best friend. I considered him part of my family. grrrrrr. i get so mad when i talk about it.


----------



## Tim

Hey,
well... you and your wife are seperated? For how long?

Honestly, it depends what you want. Really.
I think you're on rebound and her sister represents the clean version of your wife. I know you guys get along, but both of you are acting on rebound right now.

You and your sister-in-law are just going to drag all that baggage into your new relationship. 

Maybe you two can work out your demons together. You might benefit from this connection. Try to talk about how you guys feel about your previous relationships, your frustrations etc...

You might want to work on your passiveness. Learn to be assertive. There are a lot of books about it. 

Actually, I bet both of you are passive. That leads to a lot of problems down the line. Both of you (you and the sisterinlaw) don't know how to set boundries...I can see this from the fact that your wife walked all over your marriage, and your sister-in-law was in an abusive relationship. That says a lot about you two!


----------



## Tim

Oh and I wanted to bring your attention to what you mentioned...that your wife would never forgive you if you went with her sister. 

Do you see how she knows how to control you? All she needs to do is make you feel guilty by making you think of HER feelings...

well start concentrating on yours only from now on....she should be the last person whose feelings you should worry about. It shouldnt even play into your equations of decision making. She doesnt seem to care about YOUR feelings at all retodd...going to atlanta with a swinger and telling you to wait while she has some fun doing god knows what?

Anyways, my advice still applies above. Actually, now that i know more about whats going on I would just avoid her whole family, they are all problematic. Her sister is way to seductive on you, I'm willing to bet your not the only one she acts this way with. These sisters have some real issues and they have promiscuous tendencies...realize this.

You need to move on completely. Get the heck out of that house and take your kids. This is a mess.


----------



## GAsoccerman

well you play with fire you got burned....

I say go after the sister in law, what do you care what your wife says, she's banging your BF right now.


----------



## retodd

Tim thanks for the help. i agree with u i would just keep her as a friend and nothing more. thanks for the help everybody


----------

