# im an enabler



## Autumn_Lily

hubbys current addictions: World of Warcraft, Porn, and Alcohol.

he is currently on probation. things he is legally not allowed to do include drinking, looking at porn, and having access to the internet, all of which he does anyways. 

we fight quite often about all 3 addictions as well. an easy way for me to get rid of all 3 is tell his probation officer....however that would for sure start a huge fight between us and there is a good chance it will land him in jail for at least a year. 

i dont want to fight but i am really sick of the game coming first. we cant go anywhere at certain times because "the guild has a run planned" or "dailies arent done" that also keeps him from even watching a movie with me most of the time. 

he stays up most of the night playing the game and watching porn. then he comes to bed at like 4 in the morning and wants to have sex. i know he only does that cuz he is already horny from watching porn and it just pisses me off so the sex sux. 

he was sober for 4 months but got drunk the other night, i swore if he made me babysit him drunk again i was leaving.... guess what.. i didnt leave. but now he expects me to lie about that to his PO and counselor. he says he drinks cuz he is stuck in the house unless he is at work, so for the next 2 days i found a ton of things to do and events in the area and he refused to do any of them cuz now he didnt feel like going out. 

how do i deal with this? do i lie to his PO or start a fight by telling her?


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## Lilyana

Tell her, he needs to start taking responsibility for his actions.. and speaking from experience.. the addictions are only going to get worse if he doesn't seek help for them and really want to get better.

Knowing what I know now, and the experience I've been through. I wish I would have left years ago.


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## Syrum

Why are you with him?:scratchhead:

He sounds selfish, childish and really pityfull. 

Why is he on probation?

Honestly I would tell his probation officer, and then if he goes to jail use that time to really think about YOUR future and what you should be getting from life.

This guy sounds like a an epic loser.


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## COGypsy

I may be mistaken, but I think that you can be held in contempt for lying to his PO if they figure it out. And if he's on probation for a drug/alcohol offense, they have every right to do a urine test to see if he's been drinking. If he's positive and you've lied then you can both be in trouble.

He's making these choices, he can face the consequences. It sounds like he could use a few consequences. Heck, I'd probably call the PO right now. Let him yell, you didn't pour liquor down his throat, glue his hands to a game thingy and turn on Debbie Does Dallas.... If he does anything to you, it's just one more charge.

And besides, if he's restricted from all of those things as part of his probation...it sounds like he would be very popular and get to learn some valuable lessons from his cell mates if he spent some time in jail. Even if you decided to stay with him despite all of this and what's in your other posts, I bet he'd come back with a heck of an attitude adjustment!! :rofl:


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## Jamison

How is he restricted and put on probation for those things and why?


If he is, then why is there a computer in there home? Or is he accessing it from his phone?

Also you lying for him teaches him nothing, other than to keep doing what he is doing. How does it make you feel to know you're actually apart of what he is doing with alcohol, porn and gaming?


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## CallaLily

The last person I knew of that couldn't access the internet due to a court order, was a man that lived not far from my folks house that was a registered sex offender. 

He didn't have a computer because the police took it. He also was allowed a cell phone but he couldn't access the internet. His cell phone actually had a block on it. Yes that was court ordered too believe it or not. 

So why is he on probation for these things?

Those things don't sound like something he should be on probation for unless he has been watching child porn. So is he on probation for other things too? The porn, drinking and games sound more like something he needs to be in rehab getting help for not probation. Sounds like more to the story here.


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## Autumn_Lily

reason for probation: this is copied from my other post of "many years many girls" in the infidelity section

in 2009 we went out and it was my turn to drink and he had to drive,he did drink and got pretty drunk but he got me extremely drunk and took me home (this is not what anyone wants to read, its awful.... sry) then he went to say goodbye to his cousin (he is adopted i have to add) at his parents house and i thought nothing of it. come to find out (when he handed me the police report) the 2 of them had been talking for the 2 weeks she had been here and talked about sex and sent pics and that night he tried to sleep with her. she reported him cuz she is underage. he is now on probation for it.
i guess in my mind the legal aspect of it was enough punishment and i just went totally numb to the whole thing.


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## kcc01

I can say yes you can definately get in trouble for lying to his PO so I just have one question do you really want to lose YOUR freedom because you lied for him?


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## Conrad

Lily,

You are an enabler.

Tell his PO. Tell him today.





Autumn_Lily said:


> reason for probation: this is copied from my other post of "many years many girls" in the infidelity section
> 
> in 2009 we went out and it was my turn to drink and he had to drive,he did drink and got pretty drunk but he got me extremely drunk and took me home (this is not what anyone wants to read, its awful.... sry) then he went to say goodbye to his cousin (he is adopted i have to add) at his parents house and i thought nothing of it. come to find out (when he handed me the police report) the 2 of them had been talking for the 2 weeks she had been here and talked about sex and sent pics and that night he tried to sleep with her. she reported him cuz she is underage. he is now on probation for it.
> i guess in my mind the legal aspect of it was enough punishment and i just went totally numb to the whole thing.


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## Syrum

Autumn_Lily said:


> reason for probation: this is copied from my other post of "many years many girls" in the infidelity section
> 
> in 2009 we went out and it was my turn to drink and he had to drive,he did drink and got pretty drunk but he got me extremely drunk and took me home (this is not what anyone wants to read, its awful.... sry) then he went to say goodbye to his cousin (he is adopted i have to add) at his parents house and i thought nothing of it. come to find out (when he handed me the police report) the 2 of them had been talking for the 2 weeks she had been here and talked about sex and sent pics and that night he tried to sleep with her. she reported him cuz she is underage. he is now on probation for it.
> i guess in my mind the legal aspect of it was enough punishment and i just went totally numb to the whole thing.


He tried to have sex with a child. He is a sexual predator as well as an all round revolting person.

Seriously I feel sick thinking about it. Why would you stay with him? Please do not allow yourself to be degraded further by this awful man.


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## Runs like Dog

_how do i deal with this? do i lie to his PO or start a fight by telling her_?

Probation's a funny thing. Often probation violations result in nothing more than more probation. Which can put you in a tight spot. Or it can result in him being so mad at you you split up anyway and the decision's been made for you. But he sounds like a pretty creepy degenerate one way or the other so what do YOU get out of all of this besides the obligatory '...but I LOVE him!!!....'? Maybe you should examine yourself and your own addiction to this garbage?


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## Jamison

Wonder if she is still enabling since this post was from back at the beginning of May?! I wish people would come back and give updates.


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