# One night stand



## Couple111

Ladies I just have a quick question for all of you. Would you be able to remember details of a one night stand you had with a guy that you only met that night from 25 years ago?


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## Tiggy!

What kind of details?


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## Couple111

How long it lasted, how it felt, his size, how long he fingered you, what he did to you.


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## Annabegins

I would say it depends on a lot of factors... number of sexual partners, amount of alcohol consumed which could diminish memories of the event anyway... I personally can remember very little about boyfriends from 15-20 years ago so I’m sure it’s different for everyone. Why are you concerned about this?


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## Couple111

My wife recently told me about a one night stand she had 25 years ago and she told me details as I mentioned. I just find it odd she can remember this. I can not remember anything about the girls I slept with before my wife. She also could not remember our first time we had sex.


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## sunsetmist

Couple111 said:


> My wife recently told me about a one night stand she had 25 years ago and she told me details as I mentioned. I just find it odd she can remember this. I can not remember anything about the girls I slept with before my wife. She also could not remember our first time we had sex.


There were about 100 answers to your post *Wife Lied*. You were concerned because she told you he had a bigger penis after letting you believe you were the biggest for years. If you continue to obsess about this it will destroy you and your marriage. I promise you bigger is not always better!


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## Faithful Wife

Couple111 said:


> My wife recently told me about a one night stand she had 25 years ago and she told me details as I mentioned. I just find it odd she can remember this. I can not remember anything about the girls I slept with before my wife. She also could not remember our first time we had sex.


She probably had romanticized it in her head. The details may or may not be true.


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## uhtred

People remember some things, forget other and *think* they remember yet others. 

It was 25 years ago, so what difference does it make.


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## SunCMars

Faithful Wife said:


> She probably had romanticized it in her head. The details may or may not be true.


Yes, I agree.

Sometimes romanticized can be substituted for fabricated.

Romance requires kissing, words of love and foreplay. 

Fabrication requires both to remain dressed while doing the fornication.
The fabric that gets in the way is pushed aside.
No four-play, just a one single play. 
Maybe one pays. A single payer deal.

That way the fabric of the story smells true.


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## Annabegins

I can’t understand why she would discuss those particulars with you... or remember them... sounds like she was possibly just really annoyed with you and wanted you to leave her alone.


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## Rob_1

This OP is looking, willingly or not to end divorced.


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## [email protected]

It depends upon the impact the incident had on the W. Lots of women claim they can't remember because it wasn't important to them. This W remembers for a reason. I don't think that Couple 111 will like the reason at all.


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## FalCod

Memory is weird. There are big events in my life that I barely remember. There are trivial events from ages ago that I remember with surprising detail. There are things that I think I remember well, but for which my memories are probably the result of my brain filling in gaps.

Your problem is that you are obsessed over an event in your wife's life decades ago and before you met her. You need to move on.


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## Livvie

Is I were you I'd be exploring the problem of why your wife felt it was okay to tell you in that hurtful way this guy is bigger than you. That's the problem here.


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## Cooper

Is she talking about the guy with a bigger unit than you? Is she telling you things he did that you don't making him a better lover? 

You ever hear the phrase "don't ask questions if you don't want to hear the answers"? In your other thread you said you were upset your wife has been lying for 25 years saying you were the biggest she ever had, now you are upset because she remembers details of good sex 25 years ago. Who starts these conversations and why? You or her? Seems senseless to me, unless the goal is conflict and excuses to fight and justify a divorce.


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## She'sStillGotIt

Couple111 said:


> Ladies I just have a quick question for all of you. Would you be able to remember details of a one night stand you had with a guy that you only met that night from 25 years ago?


 Would this be the one-night stand your wife had when she was a *15 year old TEENAGER* that you're still obsessing about?

This behavior is likely WHY she's lied to you all these years. Because you're acting psycho about it. Sorry, but I completely understand why she lied all these years.


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## 269370

Couple111 said:


> How long it lasted, how it felt, his size, how long he fingered you, what he did to you.




She may not remember all the details however you, you are ready to produce a Hollywood C0ckbuster from all the mind movies you are making yourself go through.
What is REALLY the problem in your marriage right now? Is she not enjoying sex with you? Or doesn’t want to **** you? Or was it a dirty talk that has gone a bit wrong?

Stop obsessing about some acne covered pencil d1ck from last Millennium.


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## Openminded

To answer your question, yes, some people can recall exact details about one incident and not about another. 

In your case, you'll never know what's going on in her head so let it go. Or keep obsessing and find yourself divorced.


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## musiclover

Do yourself and your wife a favor and LET IT GO. You are being ridiculous


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## musiclover

And yea I can see why she lied. She didn't want to hear about it for the rest of her life.

My God, you are going to drive your wife to leave you because you are acting like a 17 year old.

Get a handle on yourself, it's unattractive.


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## Couple111

Ok I get a lot of you. My problem is she lied to me about this one guy for some reason she wont say. The other thing was I asked where it happened and she said in a tent and then kept saying what happened in the tent. She said he rubbed her for 20-30 min. Then he ****ed her and he had to go slow because his **** was really fat. She then said she came as soon as he put it in. So ya maybe now I am a bit ****ed up over this. Can u see the mental picture she painted for me. Its kinda making me crazy and I dont think I will ever get that picture she drew for me out of my head. I know it was before me but **** she is my wife and should have never takennit that far in detail for me to hear. To answer if we have good sex. Yes we do we have sex 3-5 times a week. I give her oral everytime for at least 10 min. I would do it longer but she likes to cum on my ****. I usually eat her everyday I try to cum home at lunch to eat her. I love giving her oral. When we have sex I always have to start sliw to get her to adjust to me also then we slowly pic up the pace. So yes we have good sex and very often so thats not the problem


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## manwithnoname

Couple111 said:


> Ok I get a lot of you. My problem is she lied to me about this one guy for some reason she wont say. The other thing was I asked where it happened and she said in a tent and then kept saying what happened in the tent. She said he rubbed her for 20-30 min. Then he ****ed her and he had to go slow because his **** was really fat. She then said she came as soon as he put it in. So ya maybe now I am a bit ****ed up over this. Can u see the mental picture she painted for me. Its kinda making me crazy and I dont think I will ever get that picture she drew for me out of my head. I know it was before me but **** she is my wife and should have never takennit that far in detail for me to hear. To answer if we have good sex. Yes we do we have sex 3-5 times a week. I give her oral everytime for at least 10 min. I would do it longer but she likes to cum on my ****. I usually eat her everyday I try to cum home at lunch to eat her. I love giving her oral. When we have sex I always have to start sliw to get her to adjust to me also then we slowly pic up the pace. *So yes we have good sex and very often so thats not the problem*


What does she think about this? Maybe she's bored with this "routine". I can't see why she would bring something up from before you, unless she wanted you to put more effort into it. She could have made it up for this purpose, not knowing it would backfire and end up with you whining incessantly.


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## FalCod

You know,maybe you're right. Maybe the fact that she has had someone better than you'll ever be is constantly on her mind. She's just been using you for decades while waiting for a chance for another big one. Then she'll dump you and live out the life of ecstasy that she always wanted. 

You should screen all of her male contacts to make sure that she doesn't get to meet up with any "large" guys. Have you measured the mailman? What about the pool guy? Whatever you do, don't let her order pizza to be delivered while you are away. And you better be really handy because you don't want any repairmen at your house. This is going to be tough. 

If I were you, I'd take her and move her to an isolated farm way out in the distant countryside. That will make it easier to ensure that she doesn't encounter men that are "better" than you. Then you'll finally have piece from your adolescent fears.


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## FieryHairedLady

Maybe she wants to be rubbed for 20-30 minutes, not licked.


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## Ynot

FalCod said:


> You know,maybe you're right. Maybe the fact that she has had someone better than you'll ever be is constantly on her mind. She's just been using you for decades while waiting for a chance for another big one. Then she'll dump you and live out the life of ecstasy that she always wanted.
> 
> You should screen all of her male contacts to make sure that she doesn't get to meet up with any "large" guys. Have you measured the mailman? What about the pool guy? Whatever you do, don't let her order pizza to be delivered while you are away. And you better be really handy because you don't want any repairmen at your house. This is going to be tough.
> 
> If I were you, I'd take her and move her to an isolated farm way out in the distant countryside. That will make it easier to ensure that she doesn't encounter men that are "better" than you. Then you'll finally have piece from your adolescent fears.


I don't know if that would work. Because there is a reason there is a saying "hung like a horse". What if the neighbor's horse wandered over? Maybe an isolated island would work better, I have heard that whales have really tiny penises.


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## 269370

Couple111 said:


> Ok I get a lot of you. My problem is she lied to me about this one guy for some reason she wont say. The other thing was I asked where it happened and she said in a tent and then kept saying what happened in the tent. She said he rubbed her for 20-30 min. Then he ****ed her and he had to go slow because his **** was really fat. She then said she came as soon as he put it in. So ya maybe now I am a bit ****ed up over this. Can u see the mental picture she painted for me. Its kinda making me crazy and I dont think I will ever get that picture she drew for me out of my head. I know it was before me but **** she is my wife and should have never takennit that far in detail for me to hear. To answer if we have good sex. Yes we do we have sex 3-5 times a week. I give her oral everytime for at least 10 min. I would do it longer but she likes to cum on my ****. I usually eat her everyday I try to cum home at lunch to eat her. I love giving her oral. When we have sex I always have to start sliw to get her to adjust to me also then we slowly pic up the pace. So yes we have good sex and very often so thats not the problem



Maybe you have a hotwife on your hands. Maybe it turns her on talking about this crap to you and seeing your jealous reaction (how some random fat **** made her cum in a tent ). Some women find this hot and given the graphic details she has (for some ****ed up reason) given you, it seems likely to me that she’s into that.

Turn it around on her: first of all stop giving her so much oral, maybe it’s not doing that much for her. Then talk dirty to her; make up a story about some random dude(s) ****ing her while you **** her with your 6.5inch wide ****. See if she likes it that way.

A lot of men seem to be into that **** (but so are some women), and if it freaks you out (understandably) then maybe this relationship is not for you. Find yourself a virgin on the side to balance things out in your head or something.


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## arbitrator

musiclover said:


> And yea I can see why she lied. She didn't want to hear about it for the rest of her life.
> 
> My God, you are going to drive your wife to leave you because you are acting like a 17 year old.
> 
> Get a handle on yourself, it's unattractive.


*Then why couldn't she have been so honest as to tell him about this episode prior to their nuptials?

Would it be that she wanted her cake and still wanted to be in position to eat it too?*


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## SunCMars

FieryHairedLady said:


> Maybe she wants to be rubbed for 20-30 minutes, not licked.


OMG!

Lordy! :surprise:


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## SunCMars

Some men are what hangs between their legs.
Nothing more.

Headquarters may not be the top floor.

.................................................................

This is not always a bad thing, it was not a bad thing in Medieval Times.

In today's modern world a man such as this can be replaced by a vibrating dildo.

Ach, the shame!


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## skerzoid

*TMI.*

:scratchhead::banghead::slap:


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## VladDracul

Couple, my man, I don't know how you allowed, much less participated in that conversation. My take is your wife was trying to gig you for some reason and may have embellished the story. Hopefully, you weren't the one who initiated this stupid conversation, but she's either tell you this crap because she thinks you want to her it or she's wanting to get your goat. If your querying her about her history its like they say, "Don't ask the question if you can't bear the answer.
At any rate, you need to quit obsessing on your wife banging other guys before she met you. Its of no consequence unless you make it one. You're no different or have any more entitlements than another of the multi-millions of guys who married women who have had casual encounters, dated, married, and banged other guys before meeting them. If a lot of guys created mind movies about their wives former lover, it'd look like Netflix. You've got an ego problem, allowing her to toy with you or both.


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## Prodigal

Couple111 said:


> *My problem* is she lied to me about this one guy for some reason she wont say. ... he had to go slow because his **** was really fat. ... So ya maybe now I* am a bit ****ed up over this.* Can u see the mental picture she painted for me. Its kinda making me crazy and I dont think I will ever get that picture she drew for me out of my head.
> 
> When we have sex I always have to start slow to get her to adjust to me also then we slowly pic up the pace. So yes we have good sex and very often so thats not the problem


^^THIS.^^ It's now your problem, not hers. And you can insist till doomsday that this isn't about your male "member" but it is. And, yes, you are going crazy, but that's YOUR choice. Jeesh, just decide if you want to stay with a woman who lied to you about something that happened about a million years ago and gave you TMI about her sex with another guy.

But do something - ANYTHING - proactive, rather than whining about it to a bunch of strangers out in cyberspace. You want to die on this mountain, fine by me.


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## personofinterest

Please set this poor woman free


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## sunsetmist

I guess I wondering, What do you want? What do you need? What must you or your wife do to put this to rest?

To me and others, it appears this must be a decision to stop period. Erase this from your curiosity, your frustrations, your hurt, because it seems you are hurting and I am sorry for that. Consciously focus on the really good things in your life and it will get better. When these thoughts try to rise up again, shove them back into an imaginary trunk, lock it, hide the key.


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## sokillme

Look I am all for being sure she is not cheating but it seems like you verified that. Overall you are thinking about this all wrong. You seem like a nice guy, and I don't mean that in a good way. Here is the difference, some men find this out and have a pity party and other men see it as a challenge. The men who see it as a challenge have a better life. If you are afraid that she liked the sex with this guy better then sex with you then compete! Quit being passive and figure out how to blow her mind. Make it your mission. Assuming she is not a size queen most women will not care that much if you have a big enough size to get the job done. So get the job done. Seduce your wife, if you are able to do that you really won't care about her past. 

There is a lot more to sex then **** size you should know that by now. Stop wallowing and get to work.


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## TJW

Couple111 said:


> she is my wife and should have never takennit that far in detail for me to hear.


I agree with you on this. I can think of no possible motives except self-serving ones. I'm sorry to hear that you will now endure these mind-movies. I remember how hurtful they are.


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## 269370

The amount of disclosed details is peculiar. If you haven’t pressed for those (have you?), I really think it turns her on to talk about it and she’s trying to make you jealous.
Seriously: read up on hotwife fantasies.
Maybe in some ****ed up way, she thought it would turn you on too to listen to it. 
Women get (sexually) more ‘freaky’ with age (as they get more comfortable with their sexuality)...Try to keep up 
Sounds like a fantasy in any case (even if loosely based on reality).


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## 269370

Ask her this: does it make you wet talking about your exes massive ****s that stretched you?
While rubbing her next time. See how/if she responds.
I have come across this before. It’s some freaky ****. But can be fun. You just have to be secure in yourself.


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## musiclover

arbitrator said:


> *Then why couldn't she have been so honest as to tell him about this episode prior to their nuptials?
> 
> Would it be that she wanted her cake and still wanted to be in position to eat it too?*


Do you see how he acts ? This is why she didn't tell him. He goes on and on about it forever.


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## Chaparral

How would a fifteen year old know big from bigger? Most guys that age don’t even know the difference. All she knows was at that age it was uncomfortable at first. I’ve also heard of guys that came as soon as they entered. 

You’re obsessing on the wrong thing. If you’re good you’re good. Do you have any idea how many man would die to be having sex as often as you. Go read in the sex section.

Besides, as she has gotten older they all seem smaller. It’s not them it’s her.


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## Couple111

Musiclover- How do I act I asked a questionn is this not what this forum is for? I just wanted other peoples opinion. If you do not like my thread then please do not read it. I do not see anyone twisting your arm making you come to my thread and read it. 
As for the rest of you that are giving positive opinions I thank you for your input.


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## Beach123

Couple111 said:


> Ladies I just have a quick question for all of you. Would you be able to remember details of a one night stand you had with a guy that you only met that night from 25 years ago?


Not usually... unless there was something exceptional about him or what he did with me.


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## Beach123

Couple111 said:


> Ok I get a lot of you. My problem is she lied to me about this one guy for some reason she wont say. The other thing was I asked where it happened and she said in a tent and then kept saying what happened in the tent. She said he rubbed her for 20-30 min. Then he ****ed her and he had to go slow because his **** was really fat. She then said she came as soon as he put it in. So ya maybe now I am a bit ****ed up over this. Can u see the mental picture she painted for me. Its kinda making me crazy and I dont think I will ever get that picture she drew for me out of my head. I know it was before me but **** she is my wife and should have never takennit that far in detail for me to hear. To answer if we have good sex. Yes we do we have sex 3-5 times a week. I give her oral everytime for at least 10 min. I would do it longer but she likes to cum on my ****. I usually eat her everyday I try to cum home at lunch to eat her. I love giving her oral. When we have sex I always have to start sliw to get her to adjust to me also then we slowly pic up the pace. So yes we have good sex and very often so thats not the problem


Honey,

I'm old and I've had tons of men...

Bigger does not equate to better sex.

Stop worrying. She married YOU!

Who cares what she did prior to you - she chose you!


Now - if she cheating on you now - that's something you have to do something about immediately.

I repeat - bigger usually hurts. I'll take a smaller man anyday - who knows what to do with his package... especially if he's not a selfish/self centered man.

Bigger men have less options on how to please a woman - it just eliminates automatically some fun options... just saying.


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## WorkingWife

Couple111 said:


> My wife recently told me about a one night stand she had 25 years ago and she told me details as I mentioned. I just find it odd she can remember this. I can not remember anything about the girls I slept with before my wife. She also could not remember our first time we had sex.


What was her attitude when she told you this? Was she fed up with you asking her questions and possibly made it up to make you regret asking and leave her alone? Or did she just volunteer this information out of the blue? Do you encourage these details from her? If not, she's being a sadist. If so, you're being a masochist.


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## manfromlamancha

I think the real questions that Couple is asking are why keep this from Couple when she told him about everything else AND why bring it up now ?

I think the backing info was to do with penis size but this is not the main issue - the main issue is that she is a liar and possibly a hurtful one too, to bring it up now.

Couple, remind me - what did she say when you asked her the above two questions: why hide it and lie about it AND why now ? I do understand your being upset about it. But there must be more background/context to this.


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## She'sStillGotIt

Beach123 said:


> Bigger does not equate to better sex.


Gotta disagree. It can and for *some* women, it does. 

People continually throw the myth around that those who are well endowed are 'lazy in bed' supposedly because they bring more to the table physically so they don't feel the need to do any work once they're there. I have YET to see an ounce of truth to that, in my many years of experience. Then there's that overused, tired old cliche, 'they don't know what to _do_ with it so I'd prefer an average or smaller guy because they're better in bed' which again, I've never found to be true. I've known more than one guy who was average to below average sized at best and they sucked in bed - and NOT in a good way. In fact, the ones who were below average sized should have made it their live's work to be very skilled at other things but nope - they just sucked all the way around.

Just sayin'. >


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## personofinterest

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Gotta disagree. It can and for *some* women, it does.
> 
> People continually throw the myth around that those who are well endowed are 'lazy in bed' supposedly because they bring more to the table physically so they don't feel the need to do any work once they're there. I have YET to see an ounce of truth to that, in my many years of experience. Then there's that overused, tired old cliche, 'they don't know what to _do_ with it so I'd prefer an average or smaller guy because they're better in bed' which again, I've never found to be true. I've known more than one guy who was average to below average sized at best and they sucked in bed - and NOT in a good way. In fact, the ones who were below average sized should have made it their live's work to be very skilled at other things but nope - they just sucked all the way around.
> 
> Just sayin'. >


I this and the reverse basically prove that anecdotal research isn't always reliable. I have found that a man's "intimate attentiveness" has more to do with his overall level of selfishness than any kind of size.


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## 269370

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Gotta disagree. It can and for *some* women, it does.
> 
> People continually throw the myth around that those who are well endowed are 'lazy in bed' supposedly because they bring more to the table physically so they don't feel the need to do any work once they're there. I have YET to see an ounce of truth to that, in my many years of experience. Then there's that overused, tired old cliche, 'they don't know what to _do_ with it so I'd prefer an average or smaller guy because they're better in bed' which again, I've never found to be true. I've known more than one guy who was average to below average sized at best and they sucked in bed - and NOT in a good way. In fact, the ones who were below average sized should have made it their live's work to be very skilled at other things but nope - they just sucked all the way around.
> 
> Just sayin'. >



Let’s put it this way: if you have a ****umference of 6 inches+ on your c0ck, any erection will probably cause you to faint, so a very fat but unconscious c0ck is unlikely to give you much pleasure.
It’s science. 

What about size and fatness of tongue? I can make various shapes with it....while yodelling Bavarian style


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## Couple111

manfromlamancha- when I asked she said she forgot about it. I mentioned that she lied by not telling me years ago when I asked. She said she wanted to forget about it. She does admit she lied to me about size. She told me also without asking her about him rubbing her for at least 20 min before he put it in her and said he had to go slow as it hurt her. I wish she had kept those couple comments to herself.


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## musiclover

Couple111 said:


> Musiclover- How do I act I asked a questionn is this not what this forum is for? I just wanted other peoples opinion. If you do not like my thread then please do not read it. I do not see anyone twisting your arm making you come to my thread and read it.
> As for the rest of you that are giving positive opinions I thank you for your input.


I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just being honest. You want to relive something that happened forever ago, have at it. Youte making yourself sound super needy which is a big turnoff.

And with that I'm out of this convo


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## musiclover

My wife was with someone a million years ago who had a bigger ****. Good God, let me harp on it over and over. 

Yes very attractive.


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## uhtred

There are a wide range in what women (and men) want. Clearly for some women size is more important that it is for others. There are probably some where its the most important thing, but that seems uncommon.

I hope a woman who cared a lot about size wouldn't marry a guy who she thought was too small in the first place. In the same way I hope a woman who was into muscles wouldn't marry a skinny nerdy guy. 

If someone just wants to experience huge, toys are available in all sizes. 




She'sStillGotIt said:


> Gotta disagree. It can and for *some* women, it does.
> 
> People continually throw the myth around that those who are well endowed are 'lazy in bed' supposedly because they bring more to the table physically so they don't feel the need to do any work once they're there. I have YET to see an ounce of truth to that, in my many years of experience. Then there's that overused, tired old cliche, 'they don't know what to _do_ with it so I'd prefer an average or smaller guy because they're better in bed' which again, I've never found to be true. I've known more than one guy who was average to below average sized at best and they sucked in bed - and NOT in a good way. In fact, the ones who were below average sized should have made it their live's work to be very skilled at other things but nope - they just sucked all the way around.
> 
> Just sayin'. >


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## TJW

Couple111 said:


> I wish she had kept those couple comments to herself.


Yes, it's unfortunate that she didn't. I can understand how and why this is so hurtful to you. I can't help but think your wife understood the effect they would have, and chose to do it with the knowledge.


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## Rob_1

One night stand doesn't jive. I think two night stands is better. I gives better symmetry to the room and the bed.


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## personofinterest

DNA your kids
Kick her to the curb
Have her fired
Tell everyone
Buy a VAR

Did I miss anything?


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## 269370

personofinterest said:


> DNA your kids
> 
> Kick her to the curb
> 
> Have her fired
> 
> Tell everyone
> 
> Buy a VAR
> 
> 
> 
> Did I miss anything?



Expose yourself in the park while twirling 360 degrees. I think? 


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## Steelman

Couple111 said:


> Ok I get a lot of you. My problem is she lied to me about this one guy for some reason she wont say. The other thing was I asked where it happened and she said in a tent and then kept saying what happened in the tent. She said he rubbed her for 20-30 min. Then he ****ed her and he had to go slow because his **** was really fat. She then said she came as soon as he put it in. So ya maybe now I am a bit ****ed up over this. Can u see the mental picture she painted for me. Its kinda making me crazy and I dont think I will ever get that picture she drew for me out of my head. I know it was before me but **** she is my wife and should have never takennit that far in detail for me to hear. To answer if we have good sex. Yes we do we have sex 3-5 times a week. I give her oral everytime for at least 10 min. I would do it longer but she likes to cum on my ****. I usually eat her everyday I try to cum home at lunch to eat her. I love giving her oral. When we have sex I always have to start sliw to get her to adjust to me also then we slowly pic up the pace. So yes we have good sex and very often so thats not the problem


Did I accidentally scroll to the Penthouse Forum page?


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## TJW

uhtred said:


> I hope a woman who cared a lot about size wouldn't marry a guy who she thought was too small in the first place. In the same way I hope a woman who was into muscles wouldn't marry a skinny nerdy guy.


Your hope is well-founded, although my observation is that many women marry guys who they think will make good husbands and good fathers. The anatomy of the guy is quite secondary....especially if she's struggling as a single mom, and he can be a "good provider".

They think that it "won't matter"....

But, by and by, her true feelings about the anatomy and looks of the guy come out. And, when it does, the guy is really hurt.
And, the marriage suffers.



Couple111 said:


> My problem is she lied to me about this one guy for some reason she wont say.


Well, can you imagine what would have happened years ago if she had said "....I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. However, I will always consider you inferior to my former BF...."

She got it off her chest.....and, on to yours.....



Couple111 said:


> So yes we have good sex and very often so thats not the problem


Yes, this is completely correct. It's not "the" problem, it's not even "a" problem. You are giving her sex exactly the way she wants you to. Now that she told you, she's free from it..... of course, you have to find a way to live with it.....


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## Rubix Cubed

fieryhairedlady said:


> maybe she wants to be rubbed for 20-30 minutes, not licked.



Bingo!

@Couple111 Consider this a challenge or a tip. Step up your game with this as a benchmark, not what YOU think she wants.


> She told me also without asking her about him rubbing her for at least 20 min before he put it in her and said he had to go slow as it hurt her. I wish she had kept those couple comments to herself


.


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## hairyhead

Couple111 said:


> My wife recently told me about a one night stand she had 25 years ago and she told me details as I mentioned. I just find it odd she can remember this. I can not remember anything about the girls I slept with before my wife. She also could not remember our first time we had sex.


Your penis obviously isn't that memorable.


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## 269370

hairyhead said:


> Your penis obviously isn't that memorable.




Au contraire, even I remember it (6 inches wide!). And I haven’t even had sex with him.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## hairyhead

inmyprime said:


> Au contraire, even I remember it (6 inches wide!). And I haven’t even had sex with him.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


In HIS dreams....


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## Violet28

Maybe she was pissed at you for something and decided to say something that she knows you are sensitive about. She could be lying for all you know.


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## hairyhead

Violet28 said:


> Maybe she was pissed at you for something and decided to say something that she knows you are sensitive about. She could be lying for all you know.


You mean faking it?

He will be used to that.


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## Decorum

Couple111 said:


> My wife recently told me about a one night stand she had 25 years ago and she told me details as I mentioned. I just find it odd she can remember this. I can not remember anything about the girls I slept with before my wife. She also could not remember our first time we had sex.


Maybe she can remember it because it is one of the most memorable sex experiences she ever had. Do you want to take that away from her?



Couple111 said:


> She then said she came as soon as he put it in.


That is very situational, it could be that the same thing would have happened if you were the guy in the tent that day, and entered her after 20 mins of foreplay.
You don't know what you don't know, stop making assumptions.




Couple111 said:


> manfromlamancha- when I asked she said she forgot about it. I mentioned that she lied by not telling me years ago when I asked. She said she wanted to forget about it. She does admit she lied to me about size. She told me also without asking her about him rubbing her for at least 20 min before he put it in her and said he had to go slow as it hurt her. I wish she had kept those couple comments to herself.


So first it's, "you lied to me!" "You lied to me!"

Now you condemn her for telling you. "Why did you tell me that!" "Why did you tell me that!" 

You should not put someone you care for in a no win situation!!!

If you found out any of that information a year from now you would be back to telling her she lied to you.

She sounds like a good woman, and I doubt she deserves to be treated this way. (At this point people often say, "Oh I'm not showing it, or letting on" Sure ok.)

How about you become a safe place for her where she can feel secure enough to tell you anything. 

I am not ok with lying, but I also think self-disclosure can be very personal, and I get why someone might not be ready to self-disclose something at a given point in their life. It would be better to tell someone, "I am not comfortable talking about that with you" than lie, but I would be more interesting in opening a safe channel of communication that obsessing about lying. 

My advise, "Honey I have been an idiot, all your experiences made you the woman I love today, if you have memorable sexual experiences I am glad for you and I always want to be a supportive and safe partner that you can talk to".

After that you both have a glass of wine, strip yourselves down and have her tell you about that night while she strokes you, become part of the overall memory of that night in a positive way and not be an OCD Pudmucker.

Maybe set up an ad hoc tent over the bed and re-enact it,  
Good luck!


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## oldtruck

Never ask a question that you do not want to hear the answer to.

What can a wife remember we will never know, so is the husband or BH 
being lied to he will never know.

Yet the trickle truthing leaves the husband unable to believe that he has
now gotten the full truth.

I understand a BH needing the truth from his WW. This thread shows how
asking a wife about her past relationships is not wise. An affair is different.

When asking about the past the best questions are ones that have narrow
focus that allows the person asking to stop asking for more specific questions
if they feel that hearing more detailed info would be too much to hear.

You asked, your wife answered. You cannot handle the answer. Stop discussing
it to let those memories fade, and if you cannot find a good IC.

If you needed a wife with no sexual past you should of married a virgin. Or 
when you proposed to also ask if only had bad sex, with equipment smaller
than yours.


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## manfromlamancha

Couple111 said:


> manfromlamancha- when I asked she said she forgot about it. I mentioned that she lied by not telling me years ago when I asked. She said she wanted to forget about it. She does admit she lied to me about size. She told me also without asking her about him rubbing her for at least 20 min before he put it in her and said he had to go slow as it hurt her. I wish she had kept those couple comments to herself.


So why bring it up now? What did she say to this? Or did you initiate this?


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## SunCMars

...


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## TJW

Decorum said:


> You should not put someone you care for in a no win situation!!!


I would have to say, that's exactly right. And exactly what his wife has done. It's a very cruel thing to do, to make comparisons of him to former partners, especially in an unfortunate light regarding something he has no control over.


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## Sam7474

This story sounds just like what happened to my good friend. She kept her biggest from her husband and one night she let it slip out that an ex of hers was very thick. She said he was so thick they could not do it very long, but it felt very good. She had always told her husband he was her largest until this night. He literally had a break down over it. This was 4 years ago and they still are not close anymore. She tells me he is disgusted with her for lying to him for so long. They have been married 18 years. I guess there are many men out there that worry about this. Including my husband. Lucky for him I only been with 3 guys and he really is my largest at 6”. I have had other friends that say their husbands are the same way.


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## AVR1962

No


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## TJW

Sam7474 said:


> He literally had a break down over it. This was 4 years ago and they still are not close anymore.


It's unfortunate, but they probably never will be again. He will never feel safe with her, and his humiliation will govern his relationship to her.
He will regard himself as "plan B", and it will be extremely difficult for his wife to ever convince him otherwise.


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## [email protected]

Couple111, it happened to her 25 tears ago, but it's happening to you now. That episode is seared into her brain, but ....sorry....her first time with you wasn't remarkable. What I wonder about is, why she would go into so much
detail rather than minimizing it. She has to know the kind of details she gave would result in mind movies for you. She's getting something out of it, unless she just doens't care what your reaction is.


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## MattMatt

The OP hadn't been active for a while so this is a Zombie thread.


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