# Afraid my H is cheating



## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

He lied about Find my friends app today....Said it auto down loaded....I then found it by mistake on a Ipad with his Itunes loaded on it and it was purchased through password in Oct 10, 12 while he was working out of state.

Also when he was home for xmas..His phone was password protected. I asked him about it and he said when he updated the phone it asked for a password to be set...I had to ask him a couple times to take password off before he did.

Also last night he was talking about the kind of car he wants to buy next....I asked him whne he was planning doing this and what year car..He said as new as possible and when ever he wants cause its his money....I went off on him ...saying. I am living at his parents house, our kids don't have bedrooms, our kids are not happy, we haven't filed our bankrupcy yet and he still has 2 years on his car!!

I've just recently started taking screen shots of the texts he sends me. Then I will keep them on file on my computer


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So is he still working out of town?

It does sound like he might be cheating. But living apart will make it hard for you to know what's up with him.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

He is cheating...I found a dating hooking up site...I installed it on my phone and its just like Plenty of Fish

He installed it July 5th, which is only 4 days after our daughters Bday.....He went out to AZ to work middle of may....He has been going out to plenty of movies...while out there...


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I'm confronting tomorrow


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

blueskies30 said:


> He is cheating...I found a dating hooking up site...I installed it on my phone and its just like Plenty of Fish
> 
> He installed it July 5th, which is only 4 days after our daughters Bday.....He went out to AZ to work middle of may....He has been going out to plenty of movies...while out there...


That is I found a dating hook up site on his Itunes acct...he has linked his itunes account to the kids Ipad


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Well I guess you have your answer. I wish you well on the confrontation.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I also signed up for the dating site and quickly finished my profile..now the search to look for him and do a screen shot...how bout that for confrontation...hows he going to weazel his way out of that


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

He sent me an almost naked pic of himself when he went back to AZ with the new underwear I bought him...That is very out of charachter for him...so I'm thinking he sent that pic to someone else too


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Getting a snapshot of his profile is a good idea. 

Another thing you could do is to pretend to be someone else and send him an invite. Talk to him for a few days on the site and see what he tells you.

If you do this he cannot claim that he just created a profile but is not looking to date anyone.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> Getting a snapshot of his profile is a good idea.
> 
> Another thing you could do is to pretend to be someone else and send him an invite. Talk to him for a few days on the site and see what he tells you.
> 
> If you do this he cannot claim that he just created a profile but is not looking to date anyone.


I don't have my Pic on it and My screen name is not my name at all....I know for a fact he usually always uses almost his full name for screen names


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## bigtone128 (May 1, 2012)

blueskies30 said:


> I also signed up for the dating site and quickly finished my profile..now the search to look for him and do a screen shot...how bout that for confrontation...hows he going to weazel his way out of that


Funny - I did this with my ex...and then she turned around and later accused ME of being involved with someone else when she saw I was registered on the site to check up on her?


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## ubercoolpanda (Sep 11, 2012)

When you update your phone it doesn't ask for a password. Just saying..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

ubercoolpanda said:


> When you update your phone it doesn't ask for a password. Just saying..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know it doesn't...Red flags went off there and he tried to hide it by telling me that....I didn't believe hima nd he got pissed, one night over the xmas visit and shuved his phone at me and said if I didn't trust him check it out...I didn't lok in his phone with him right there.


I think today before I confront him with the screeen shot of the dating app on his account, I want to ask him what he really wants for us. Is he really still wanting me and the kids to move out to AZ with him? Is he wanting to always be there 100% for his kids living in the same house? ...I think I know the answers I might get...If I didn't want that we wouldn't be married right now.....Thats when I'm going to confront him with the app....And I will accept no auto downloads...I will say what you think I am stupid?? I have a feeling his response to being caught will be to shut me off and tell me hes going to talk to me later. 

I already went though part of Divorce in 2011 and it didn't seem easy in CO, but he had the lawyer...I'm not sure how the court system is going to handle him working/living out of state...but he has not changed his address so technically he still lives with me.

Hes been not wanting to come home to work because the wage is a bit lower, not sure what the hrs worked are right now...Now I'm thinking he should come home if he wants to save his marriage at all....He would break even with working out of state and working at home...no rent to pay out there and food just for himself. 

Id like to think that once he realizes that I'm not believeing him about the BS hes going to tell me about both apps that he will beg me to not divorce him, but I'm not so sure about that....My head is telling me to divorce him


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Then I'm also so sad for my kids....He broke the prmise to them...he told them that mommy and daddy were not going to divorce before he left to go work in AZ...then 2 wks afer he left he joined a dating site.....He talks about how pissed he is at his brother who cheated on his wife and that he needs to go back to his family, his brother is divorcing his wife who did nohting to him


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I did just confront my H...I got him to give me his Apple ID before I confronted...said I needed it for Ipad....He reluctetly gave it to me eventually.....He did say I needed to put my own account on the Ipad so I can stay out of his business...I said well do you have something to hide...he of course said no. I pointed out to him we once shared a acct...he didn't belive me...I said there are songs apps that i downloaded that Id like to transfer to my acct...thats when he gave me his ID. Then i started asking if its still his dream and to live as a family in the same house. He said thats a dumb question...He never answered it with yes though. Then I asked him if he was honest with the kids when he told them before he left for AZ that Mommy and daddy were not getting a divorce and that he loves mommy with all his heart and would never do anyhting to hurt her.? He again said WTF is up with you? Thats when I sent him the screen shot with that dating app on it....I said well then I as wondering why you have this...He said he never downloaded that...I said well its here on his list and purchased Jul 6, 12...he said idk. Ill look on my computer



He didn't say another word....

I'm thinking of letting him sit on it all day.


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## LdyVenus (Dec 1, 2012)

You confronted too soon. You should make a fake profile on the dating site, and see how far he is willing to go.


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

LdyVenus said:


> You confronted too soon. You should make a fake profile on the dating site, and see how far he is willing to go.


I have fake profile on the dating site that I made last night


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I also didn't find anything on that dating site of him, but know he could still be on it, but has his profile hidden and he could already have found who he likes to talk too......

He did start talking to me on his own...wanted to know a number to our jewerly store to find out about my xmas present they are supposed to fix and if they are not going to fix it he wants to get me something else...then he started talking abou whne we buy a house what color we should paint our master bedroom....

He has yet to admit guilt yet and I have not threatened divorce yet, but I'm keeping my secrets inside right now until I can have a clear head and a clear plan....I don't have hard evidence yet, but do have that he did down load a dating app...that is a type of guilt....


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Hes admitted to getting the app and is now blame shifting...He says I push him to look for a way out and also that he down loaded it but didn't do anything with it....

I don't belive him because he lied to me when he admited his previiuos affair details


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Now hes telling me why he did it..a long long why


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Which is?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Hes stressed, our children have special needs, all I talk about is moving, our kids etc etc etc

then hes lonely and stressed

He still maintains he didn't put his profile..I told him I couldn't believe that because he had told me he only had sex with OW once nad used protection and that wasn't at all true...

He said he told me everything and he can't make me believe him


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

My heart is broken..I'm going abck and forth....I don't want to be stuck where I am living with his parents...but I don't want to be married to someone who will again betray


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Now hes telling me thats why he was going to therapy to sort out his frustrations and thats why he still goes to therapy


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I don't know if therapy is real...it could be the set up to meet his OW...hes never really given me concrete info on his therapyst....He blirted out a name real fast once, But now I can't remember it..I look the name up and did not find a thing


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Ok wait, he cheated before and now is pulling this stuff????

Do you want to stay married to a cheater? He's just going to keep doing this. You and your kids deserve better. Why you haven't kicked him out of the house yet is beyond me. If he is traveling for work all of the time I can't see him being that much of a help around the house so don't use that excuse as to why you haven't 

Oh and go see a lawyer.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

blueskies30 said:


> I'm confronting tomorrow


 Don't confront YET.. WAit until you get more solid evidence.. Confront now and you may loose your chance to find out the truth.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

vi_bride04 said:


> Ok wait, he cheated before and now is pulling this stuff????
> 
> Do you want to stay married to a cheater? He's just going to keep doing this. You and your kids deserve better. Why you haven't kicked him out of the house yet is beyond me. If he is traveling for work all of the time I can't see him being that much of a help around the house so don't use that excuse as to why you haven't
> 
> Oh and go see a lawyer.


 :iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

You know, I would REALLY like to see you actually DO something. You keep posting that he's cheating, then you put up another post where he's sending you flowers and you want to know what to send him for Valentines. You never come back to your older threads to update anything. You have posts all over the place, none of which tell the whole story, or the whole truth.

What exactly do you want from TAM????


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Yeah, this is starting to be too much of a game. It's fun to see him squirm and all, but this is serious business. Do you want to live with this man or not?


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## daggeredheart (Feb 21, 2012)

Magic 8 ball says this is all but over and has been circling the drain for awhile. Now the question is where are you going to find the courage to do the smart thing for yourself and refuse his horrible shameful presence in your life?


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