# Dealing with a mentally ill OW



## NightOwl (Sep 28, 2009)

Hi everyone. Since my last update things have been going well. It's been 10 weeks since I found out about the A. We are still in therapy, but now monthly instead of weekly. Our day to day relationship is honestly the best it has been in a long time. The pain of the A is still there but more distant and manageable. 

The hardest part now is dealing with the OW. She has borderline personality disorder, a condition I have learned a LOT about in the past few months! Basically she is unable to regulate her emotions; emotionally she is a toddler. She is still sending him text messages professing her love and showing up to places where she knows we will be. She is unable to let go. He shows me all the messages and we ignore her, which is what is recommended for people who are trying to disengage from someone with this disorder. I am learning to accept that she will not just go away and disappear like I'd prefer. She will always find a way to send a message or show up. It is not easy knowing that there is someone actively trying to steal my partner, because I don't 100% trust him yet. I do trust that he has no interest in her particularly - she was basically abusive towards him by the end of their relationship - but the whole thing just makes me uneasy.

Has anyone else dealt with prolonged irrational behavior from the OW/OM, and how did you deal with it? For now we are changing phone numbers and ignoring her. I know that it will stop eventually but it could take a long time and that's hard to stomach sometimes.


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## Sven (Nov 18, 2009)

My wife called the police and had them contact the other guy to tell him this was his one an only warning. He hasn't contacted her since.

I suggest you call the police.


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