# Finally separated



## angelstarnash8567 (Jun 3, 2011)

I dont want this but I just feel this is what he wants so accept it today. Living under the same roof is going to be hard. Our money situation is bad so if I moved into my mom's I couldnt help her out with elec. My mom and dad had a divorce like 6 months ago. It has been really difficult my H said I dont need do anything for him anymore. No fixing him lunch or dinner weird. We have a 4 year old. This is going to be hard. I read some stories and I need to listen to them. Space is what he wants I need to give it to him. Just have to act like he is my room mate or something I guess. I just feel like I fall into pieces. Even took his ring off but he told me that his ring got caught on the steering wheel last night and left in the his work car. So I see tommorrow if he puts back on he be off tommorrow. I just didnt want this. I know that I hurt him over the years saying divorce and I want to leave but I did only b/c I was angry at him or we were in argument. He hurt me back like he was paying me back. He is in the military been on 2 deployments this last one was terrible he say that he wasn't going let me do this time that he want to hurt me first and push me away. He knows how much I love him. I would died for him. I always felt like we are soulmates. Anyways I know it is more I can say. I have story on different page somewhere if you want to know more information. I appreciated. I need support. I just feel lost and dont know what do with myself. I cant be like some people have a 4 year old so I feel like I am stuck in this house all the time. When I get out when I go to church.


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## Kauaiguy (May 8, 2011)

First of all living in the SAME household is NOT in my opinion being separated. For several years my ex-wife and I were basically living separate lives in the same house, whereby she would keep to herself locked up in her own room(s) and I would only see her for about 20 minutes each day.

I said room(s) because the last house we lived in was a tri-level house and she had one of the floors all to herself.

It WAS miserable living in that condition, not doing anything together including having meals at the same table.

But I would NOT consider it as being separated because to me, being separated is being totally away from each other, living in DIFFERENT households.

Secondly and more important, you NEVER want to threaten anyone with divorce or separation unless you're really planning on going through with it! It is NOT even a funny joke.

Some spouses would take it seriously and truly be hurt by the mere suggestion of a Divorce. And even though they may not say anything or show any emotions at the time,they may even start planning and preparing themselves for the day it happens.

.. and the day may come when you repeat the threat just to hear them reply "*OK FINE, LET'S DO IT*" Then what?

It's what I refer to as: OPEN MOUTH ... INSERT FOOT!


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Kauaiguy said:


> First of all living in the SAME household is NOT in my opinion being separated. For several years my ex-wife and I were basically living separate lives in the same house, whereby she would keep to herself locked up in her own room(s) and I would only see her for about 20 minutes each day.
> 
> I said room(s) because the last house we lived in was a tri-level house and she had one of the floors all to herself.
> 
> ...


This is VERY true. Do not ever threaten Divorce or Separation unless you mean it. It's serious business and will kill a marriage. It happened to me 3 years ago; it devestated me to the point where I was already expecting it to end. And what it did to me was to make me more distant to my wife. It just did not allow me to open my heart and trust her after that. The result was that we are getting divorced three years down the road. Better to call him an insensitive a$$hole than to threaten divorce. Don't play with that word.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angelstarnash8567 (Jun 3, 2011)

Trust me if I could I would be with my moms or somewhere. I am thinking about my 4 year old daughter easier on her. One thing we are barely make it on the money side. I been applying like crazy for a part time job b/c I am here taking care of our daughter. I give him what he wants. Trust me we are agree no sex, no nothing but like roommates. If I money situation was different I would be somewhere trust me. I try talking to him tonight on the phone. He says I am boring. Just need stop talking to him b/c all it does it make it worse. Things come ouit of my mouth and he says that I am hurting him with my words. If you could explain it better I wish I could. He is cop and his co worker that he is friends with that is single girl. I dont like it. Anyways I dont know anymore. We always end up working out. We been a couple of times, but not this bad. Normally he is gone. He is in Iraq. He is in the military too. So normally we aren't living together when we going through this. This is the first time this has happen and he is still home. 6 months I am sure he be getting a phone call saying he has to leave soon. I dont know I am so lost and so upset and at the end of my rope.


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