# Shall I get married ?



## ExpertAdviseOnMarriage (Feb 20, 2014)

Hi, 

I wish members (married/unmarried/single/divorced) will be able to provide some suggestion about the situation I am going through. I am 35 year old man, single, never married and not in a relationship. All my friends are already married and my family friends, relatives those are younger than me are also married with kids.

I live far away from my parents and relatives and I am pretty sure that I do not want to get married to someone whom I do not know that well and or not in love with but my parents are putting lots of pressure on me. Specially emotional chit chats, crying over the phone and not talking to me due to my decision. 

Just to give a bit of background on my country of birth and society I belongs to. I was born and brought up in a small city in India. Arrange marriages are very common in India and success rate is pretty high compare to other form of marriages.

I have been working abroad for more than 10 years. One of the biggest reason for me not getting married is the added responsibilities and commitments with someone whom I am not in love with. 

I am not able to ask for any help from my friends, family friends since they are all married and they do made a conscious effort for saying only good things about marriage and try to motivate me for getting married.

I seriously do not know what I should be doing at this moment when there are lots of pressure from my parents. I do love them and do not want them to see get hurt due to my decision, at the same time I do not want to get into a relationship just to make my parents happy.

I am also getting worried about my future when I heard people making comments about the consequences that I will face when I will get older without a partner.

Please help me out in this situation. I have no where to go and ask for any suggestion or help.

Thanks.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

More than half of marriages end in divorce.

Lots of people get old without a marriage partner.

You'll be in good company although you won't be making spousal and child support payments.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

ExpertAdviseOnMarriage said:


> A*ll my friends are already married* and my family friends, relatives those are younger than me are also married with kids.
> 
> I live far away from my parents and relatives and I am pretty sure that I do not want to get married to someone whom I do not know that well and or not in love with but *my parents are putting lots of pressure on me. *
> 
> I have been working abroad for more than 10 years. One of the biggest reason for me not getting married is the added responsibilities and commitments with *someone whom I am not in love with. *


I can't relate to you from a cultural aspect being that I am not part of an arranged-marriage culture but will sa--everything you bolded above--are good reasons for NOT getting married.

You should get married because YOU WANT TO and because you LOVE the person, no because you are being pressured into it, or trying to check off a box of doing something by a certain age.

Marriage isn't for everyone.

Who knows. One day you may meet someone you may totally want to marry...and change your mind...who you love. And that would be ideal.


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