# Please help



## meshell (Jul 2, 2010)

I have been married for 6 years. Been together for 8 years. About 8 months ago I found myself liking the attention of another man. I didn't think much of it at first but then he started texting me and we started to have something in common which was basketball (which he coached). I knew that I shouldn't be flirting with another man but found myself hooked. It was like a drug. This went on for about 5 moths before we kissed. my husband moved out for a few days and I agreed to stop all contact with this man. I did stop contacting him but he wouldn't leave me alone so every few weeks I would text him one text back and thats it. I was honest with my husband. Well one day in May I felt like I was being watched again (i.e. digital recorders in vehicles and key loggers on computer) and we never really fixed the issues that allowed me to want the attention of another man so I did text this man back one day and never told my husband. So finally he blew up (and rightfully so) and moved out. We have been separated for almost 2 months. I have been going to counseling and we went to one counseling session together. He keeps telling me its over and for me to let him go but he won't file for divorce. His father believes he should get a divorce because thats what he did. I know he still loves me cause I can feel it. But he is so rude to me. I can understand the anger, resentment and lack of trust but how do we move forward? I don't believe we can move forward until he moves back home and we can really try. During these months he was "talking' to another girl as well. Like calling her 5-6 times a day at times. His excuse was he needed someone to talk to since he couldn't talk to his other friends. Funny considering he had never really talked to this girl before. How long do I give him and when do I say enough is enough of treating me like this? I believe that I have to earn his trust. I believe that it will take time. I know there is a lot of anger but is a separation making things any better? I don't believe so, I believe that its only making it harder for us to come together again. We have good times together when he will allow it but as soon as he goes back to his own place we get back to where we were which is him full of all the anger. I feel we never have a chance to really work on things.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

meshell said:


> How long do I give him and when do I say enough is enough of treating me like this?


 OMFG, are you kidding? Have you spent your whole life being this selfish? Seriously.

Get a grip.

What you did to your husband is worse than rape for a woman, and you are pissed off because he won't come home so you can 'fix' things?

What the he** have YOU done to make it up to your husband?


----------



## 2Daughters (May 13, 2010)

Meshell..you started it, like my wife did, I have recently found out other things she has done (not EA/PA stuff) just things behind my back, well we have been physically apart almost 3 mos. I started talking with several ladies during the last 1 1/2 mos. innocently but they were way ahead of me as far as where they are in their own relationship, I was not ready for anything until yesterday when I went to lunch with a woman I have been talking to on the phone for a month, all great conversation, lots of laughs, bantering but nothing sexual in nature, well we met in person for the first time and after lunch we were standing and talking and she starts hugging me, it felt great, we kissed lightly and touched and felt each other respectfully, and now we both want more, she has been divorced 1 year, so you might not need to give him any time, he might just decide for you...btw maybe because we havent been physical with anyone for awhile but for me I havent felt excited about having someone run their nails on my arms in long, long time...so it always starts out talking.:scratchhead:


----------

