# The worst thing that could happen



## nilokonyako (Feb 6, 2012)

*They said that when you're at the bottom, there's no way to go but up.*

And I may have the worst story here on TAM. A quick recap on my story in case you don't want to read my original thread which is not very readable at all since I wrote it when I just found out about the EA was very edgy(?) (pardon my english):

I was married for almost 7 years (this May) and have 2 kids. A text sent to me last February about my wife going out in the middle of the night (i work nightshifts) by an anonymous texter (which turned out to be her sister) led to my confrontation of her and to cut a long story short learned that during the first four years of our marriage, she had EAs and PAs with at least 6 men. This include her exs, ex-friends, and new friends. She did the PAs during the times when I went home once a week due to the nature of my job and the distance of it from our home. A significant number of times she did the PAs on our marital bed.

It also came to light that our youngest kid is not mine.

*Rock bottom.*

Fast forward to now, 2 months later. Wife and I are separated. I just got my daughter from the in-laws which she had taking care of the kids because she's now working.

*No way to go but up?*

It's very hard to look for a job in our country these days especially the girls when they reach a certain age. My wife is only a HS grad so this makes her chances more slim. 

The work she took? She's now working on a nightclub.

Just when you think you could you couldn't sink any further, you learn this. I'm still having trouble accepting what she did, and that the marriage is over, now this? FML.


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## nilokonyako (Feb 6, 2012)

Anyway, what's really troubling me now is about the younger kid., (2yo). She has acknowledged that the child may probably be not mine. Although before, when I told her Im doubting about the child being mine, she defensively said that I shouldn't have let her continue with the pregnancy.

I also found out that she recently friended the father which was her ex, on facebook and has been telling him about "his" son. She was explaining to the guy when their PA happened and that the kid looks like him.

I've loved the kid so much right now and I cant explain in words the hurt that this is causing me. I have no idea what to do. I also don't want to raise the kid along with the thought of my wife's infidelity. Any suggestion will help.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

You could do a paternity on both kids, as hard as it may to know the truth I don't think you want to base your/their lives on lies.

As for your X and her x, she probably needs someone to pay the bills. She treated you like a doormat and karma is coming to her.

If you don't mind me asking which country are you from? What's with the job availability for females after certain age?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ok, so do a proper paternity test on all the kids. The ones that are yours, you sue for full custody of. Use her working in a night club as proof of bad moral character and that she is unable to provide a healthy save living environment for them, you might hire a PI to go to the club and try to proposition her for $. That will prove she is of bad moral character.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nilokonyako (Feb 6, 2012)

@keko/shaggy: Paternity tests cost more than a month's salary of an average person here in our country. Much more is the cost of hiring a PI. If only these are affordable then I could have easily done this before. I haven't even LEGALLY separated from my wife yet because of the cost. And this is very common here.

Also, it's not even the problem. I could take both kids if I want, she even allows me to. I think I have learned to love the kid since he I've been taking care of him for two years. What sucks is that he now reminds me of my wife's unfaithfulness (he looks like the father). I hate feeling that because I know the kid is innocent but I cant help but trigger.

I hope somebody who have similar experience give me some kind of input on how they handle the situation.


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