# If the wife is physically stronger than her husband, will she lose respect for him?



## jambo5 (May 29, 2012)

My wife has been working out with weights now for about a year. She has always been dominant in the bedroom, and she has asked me to get slimmer (so I've been cycling and trail running, and not doing any weights). I was already fit, but I have really slimmed down. We are now both 5'7", 140 lbs. Because of the weights, she has become obviously stronger and more muscular than I am, particularly in the arms and in overall upper body strength. We seem to have an extremely solid relationship, but I am concerned that she will become less interested in me because I am smaller than her. Are there any other married couples out there where this type of match has worked out? (or not worked out - so to speak).


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe it bothers you, though? Do you feel less attracted to her because she might be stronger then you?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

start pounding the weight for crying out loud I for one could not handle my wife being stronger than me.

not that it could happen I'm 5'10 180 and squat 315 and she is 5' 110.


and although some women might say they don't care ...trust me they do nobody wants to be married to a whimp. just like they say they don't care if they make more money but inside your not making the grade and they will eventually become resentfull. 

start hitting the weights is my advice.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

5'7 140??? Wow. You're real skinny dude. I wouldnt worry about it though. |She would have mentioned something if it bothered her.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

When I met my husband he was 5'11" and 135 pounds. I weighed 108. I really paid it no mind. 

If she hasn't said anything I wouldn't worry about it.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I`d hit the weights man.

You`ll have 500 women in here over the next day or so telling you it doesn`t make a damn bit of difference.

Don`t listen to any of them.

Hit the weights, strength train.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Curious why you aren't doing resistance training?

Don't know if it bothers her or not ... but if my wife/GF could lift more, or do more push-ups than I could, I'd lose respect for myself.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It seems wrong that it should be this way, but I would have to say I wouldn't like it (but I wouldn't lose respect for him). Perhaps it's a very primitive thing, but I do like a man to be much taller and stronger than I am. It makes me feel protected.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

If I were you, I would start lifting weights too. You would be surprised how much weight you will move up in the first few months. It will taper off after a while, but at first, you will advance quickly. I don't care if you have to start out benching 90 pounds, for example, you'll be up to 150 in a few months. 

Get the facts and do it correctly to avoid injury and be most productive, and then hit the weights!


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## Kathrynthegreat (Apr 23, 2012)

I used to box competitively and was also as strong as my husband in some lifts, stronger than him in others. Never bothered me or him. I always knew I married a naturally skinny guy. He was still better at plenty other "manly" things like taking a pile of parts and turning them into a beautiful hot rod, or fixing anything that broke. 

Taken to its extreme, the thought process that a man should *always* be physically stronger than his wife begs the question of what happens in the case of serious illness, injury, stroke, paraplegia, etc.


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## jambo5 (May 29, 2012)

I appreciate the responses. I think the problem that no one (except perhaps Bianca) is responding to is that my wife explicitly told me that she wanted me to NOT lift weights, and that she wanted me to be slim and fit. I actually love the way that we feel together now, it's pretty exciting - but I'm concerned that deep down although she thinks that she wants this - there's going to be some hardwired part of her that will find me to be less attractive.:scratchhead:


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Read this post to my wife last night and asked her..

"If you were able to physically overpower me would that be a turn off?"

Her answer was an immediate "Yes, that would be a big turn off"

Now maybe all women aren`t this way but it`s my opinion most are.
maybe the OP`s wife is different I dunno but in general I`m going to say it`s a safe bet no woman wants a "weak" man in any aspect.

Hit the weights OP


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## jambo5 (May 29, 2012)

That's what I'm concerned about Tacoma. However, would your wife be interested in weightlifting and developing her upper body strength? Because my wife definitely is into it. And would your wife ever ask you to stop lifting weights? These two facts alone may indicate that our two spouses are quite different. Can you ask your wife if she has known any women that may have a similar propensity?


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## Inside_Looking_Out (Apr 8, 2012)

I am half a foot taller than my husband and about 60 lbs heavier than him (although I have been loosing weight, and hope to get to a point where I am only 10 lbs heavier or so).

He is strong, but just because of the sheer difference in height and weight, I can throw him around if I wanted to. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's all about the attitude...not the actual physical attributes.

Think about it for a sec. I am a shapely, overweight woman...I have friends that are svelte and the 'ideal' weight and size. But if we are out and about, I am the one that gets more attention. Why? Because I am approachable, friendly and confident. I like sex, I like men, I like myself, and it shows. My skinnier friends, one has confidence issues and the other is a b*%^&. That shows too.

As long as you don't 'act the wimp', then I wouldn't see why you wouldn't be all man in her eyes. A bit of ****iness and confidence makes you the manliest beast out there...that's what attracted me to my husband...all 5'1" of him.


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## 67flh (Sep 26, 2011)

sounds like she REALLYwants to dominate you even more in the bedroom.


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## Cre8ify (Feb 1, 2012)

You can become so much stronger without bulging and looking like the hulk. Given how slim you are today, I would suggest that you consider resistance training with high reps (several sets of 12) to get smooth muscle definition. I don't think that your wife will complain when your midsection starts to ripple and starting from where you are that will only take a few weeks. You can work your core every day so if you want faster results you can do that. Get to several sets of 40 crunches or try bicycle crunches (right elbow to left knee) for a few minutes a day. I have added Yoga which has been a great way to add core strength.

Your wife may have her reasons for requesting slim. I would be surprised if slim and taunt as a spring isn't better yet.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Lifting weights does not a jacked-up-bodybuilder make.

There are several guys on the boards, that I know have trained very hard and have been in physique competitions. I can appreciate that kind of work and dedication.

I'm not one of them ...

But I have done resistance training for most of my life. Net result? At nearly 47, many people presume I'm late 30's. I can take my shirt off and feel good about it. I can do 50 push-ups and am closing back in on 10 full extension pull-ups.

No one would ever describe me as a 'big guy'.

And ... I can also say that I do GREATLY appreciate a physically strong and fit woman. 

If my beloved told me that she wanted me to stop lifting weights ... well, that would be an issue. Or at the very least, the launching point for an interesting discussion about why she would want such a thing.


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## Kearson (Jan 18, 2012)

jambo5 said:


> I appreciate the responses. I think the problem that no one (except perhaps Bianca) is responding to is that my wife explicitly told me that she wanted me to NOT lift weights, and that she wanted me to be slim and fit. I actually love the way that we feel together now, it's pretty exciting - but I'm concerned that deep down although she thinks that she wants this - there's going to be some hardwired part of her that will find me to be less attractive.:scratchhead:


If your wife had the confidence to tell you she wanted you slim, I'm guessing she would have the confidence to say "You know, I changed my mind. I think I'd like you to be a little more buff."

I wouldn't worry about it unless being less strong is an issue for you. Then you need to talk to her about it.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

LoL! My hubby is 5'6" and 120 lbs. I usually like a manly man... Unfortunately, I outweigh him. (I'm 5'4", 150 lbs., still have some baby weight to lose) :/ BUT! I am not stronger than him... Even for his slender size he is incredibly strong, and has a well-defined body. Abs, arms, you name it. He's so damn sexy... In that martial artist, runner's build kind of way.

I don't think I would be as attracted to him physically if he looked like a little boy... LoL! Even still, if he can't out-wrestle me, or I have to "pretend" to let him win a wrestling match, I'd feel kind of awkward, to tell you the truth. Thankfully, I don't.

Hit the weights for YOU, though, and no one else. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Huh? Why the hell would your wife instruct you to NOT to lift weights? Did she give you a good answer to this?


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

My wife has yet to challenge me in an arm wrestling match, so I'd say you are safe. 

Women do like to know their men can protect them, so maybe you should hit the gym yourself and bulk up a bit. Not because she won't respect you, but so you can respect yourself.


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

Guy, outweighing you is one thing, but barring some sort of physical limitation, your woman should never be stronger than you. It may not bother her now, but that situation down the road where she can lift a box you can't will be a turnoff!

Hit the weights.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

jambo5 said:


> That's what I'm concerned about Tacoma. However, would your wife be interested in weightlifting and developing her upper body strength? Because my wife definitely is into it. And would your wife ever ask you to stop lifting weights? These two facts alone may indicate that our two spouses are quite different. Can you ask your wife if she has known any women that may have a similar propensity?


No she isn`t and you`re right it does seem to be a difference in what your wife is interested in and what most other women are interested in.

Have you asked her why she doesn`t want you to lift?
Maybe it`s her kink,thing, or something and going against it would be a mistake in this situation.

Ask her what`s up with her request because you were considering hitting the weights again....just ask her.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

at least she doesn't have to ask you to unscrew the lid off the jelly jar


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

tacoma said:


> I`d hit the weights man.
> 
> You`ll have 500 women in here over the next day or so telling you it doesn`t make a damn bit of difference.
> 
> ...


:lol::lol::lol: Thanks for the laugh Tacoma!! I do have to agree though... if i were stronger physically then my spouse... I have to admit I wouldn't really be attracted to him. Now.. at the current moment.. sure i weigh more then he does but he has always been physically stronger then me and like someone else said.. it just makes me feel protected and safe. Wouldn't feel that way if he were weaker...


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

It's nature, people. Biology. No woman wants her husband to get in bar fights every week but she wants to be protected. Her being stronger than you is a turnoff instinctually. That applies to all women, from rulers of nations to the girl getting you coffee at IHOP. Don't outsmart yourself by trying to be politically correct about it.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

jambo5 said:


> My wife has been working out with weights now for about a year. She has always been dominant in the bedroom, and she has asked me to get slimmer (so I've been cycling and trail running, and not doing any weights). I was already fit, but I have really slimmed down. We are now both 5'7", 140 lbs. Because of the weights, she has become obviously stronger and more muscular than I am, particularly in the arms and in overall upper body strength. We seem to have an extremely solid relationship, but I am concerned that she will become less interested in me because I am smaller than her. Are there any other married couples out there where this type of match has worked out? (or not worked out - so to speak).


Hi jambo ~

Do YOU have a problem with her being stronger?

Do YOU have a problem with her being more dominant (and maybe not just in the bedroom, if you are so willing to do the things, like slimming down, that she asks)?

Do YOU want to lift weights again?

Not sure that I would worry too much about what happens in other people's relationships - you two and your relationship are unique to you.

If these things bother YOU, then bring them up with her and work to address them.

Best wishes.


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## aston (Oct 24, 2011)

Get a hobby thats beyond her control and you iwll level the playing field. Instead of the gym go buy a nice mountain bike and get out for some fun, she will follow suit. Women tend to like being challenged.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

jambo5 said:


> I appreciate the responses. I think the problem that no one (except perhaps Bianca) is responding to is that my wife explicitly told me that she wanted me to NOT lift weights, and that she wanted me to be slim and fit. I actually love the way that we feel together now, it's pretty exciting - but I'm concerned that deep down although she thinks that she wants this - there's going to be some hardwired part of her that will find me to be less attractive.:scratchhead:


You can be slim, fit and strong. Do that. Man up.
Start working out. You can be very strong at 165 if you know what you are doing.

Not trying to beat you up but a man should be stronger that a woman who has only worked out for a year assuming she is not on testosterone and steroids.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Enchantment said:


> Hi jambo ~
> 
> Do YOU have a problem with her being stronger?
> 
> ...


I disagree with everything in the responce! sorry nothing personal.

hey baby I feel alittle intimidate because of your strength can we talk about it so you can reassure my insecurities about being weeker than you.

not to attractive to most women..

hey she might be fine with it everybody is different. But I don't think so. 

don't say anything and just start going to the gym with her if she asks just be vague and say I just want to get in shape!


another thought of why she don't want you to go to the gym with her is ....maybe shes flirting or worse hooking up with the weight lifters there and you being there would ruin it for her.

just my humble opinion.


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

chillymorn said:


> I disagree with everything in the responce! sorry nothing personal.
> 
> hey baby I feel alittle intimidate because of your strength can we talk about it so you can reassure my insecurities about being weeker than you.
> 
> ...


Exactly. No offense, but talking things out isn't always the best solution. How could he possibly frame it in a way that will be constructive?

"It makes me _feel_ X way that you're stronger than me..."

Maybe I'm not the most politically correct guy in the world but there's no way for this not to come off wimpy.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Not if he's rich.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

sinnister said:


> 5'7 140??? Wow. You're real skinny dude. I wouldnt worry about it though. |She would have mentioned something if it bothered her.


My hubby weighs this and he's 6'1" or so. He's a super triathlete. I was 5'10, now 5'8" due to massive neck injury/surgery and I'm not 140 anymore after breaking my neck. I'm working on it though, have 10 or so pounds left to lose and already lost 20 of what I gained. I don't mind. I use to run 36 miles a week and lost my toned body, my hubby still finds me sexy . My husband is the sexiest man on this planet. I'm very much in love with him.


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## jambo5 (May 29, 2012)

Thanks to everyone for the myriad of responses. My wife and I had a talk about this, and she wants a "female led relationship" and she is just turned on by being dominant. I'm OK with it, and I'm going to give it a try. So, no weights for me, just push ups. And lots of cardio.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

jambo5 said:


> Thanks to everyone for the myriad of responses. My wife and I had a talk about this, and she wants a "female led relationship" and she is just turned on by being dominant. I'm OK with it, and I'm going to give it a try. So, no weights for me, just push ups. And lots of cardio.


Great. I do not think anyone is shocked here that this was the case or that you would be ok with it. Enjoy.

I think I am going to go workout now. LOL.


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

Entropy3000 said:


> Great. I do not think anyone is shocked here that this was the case or that you would be ok with it. Enjoy.
> 
> I think I am going to go workout now. LOL.


hahahahaha


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

jambo5 said:


> Thanks to everyone for the myriad of responses. My wife and I had a talk about this, and she wants a "female led relationship" and she is just turned on by being dominant. I'm OK with it, and I'm going to give it a try. So, no weights for me, just push ups. And lots of cardio.


Sounds good. Is she still going to let you stand up to pee?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> at least she doesn't have to ask you to unscrew the lid off the jelly jar


hahaha!!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

jambo5 said:


> Thanks to everyone for the myriad of responses. My wife and I had a talk about this, and she wants a "female led relationship" and she is just turned on by being dominant. I'm OK with it, and I'm going to give it a try. So, no weights for me, just push ups. And lots of cardio.


Okay, you two do what you feel is both suited to you.

I can't help but wonder though, what dominance has to do with muscle strength/bulk? I'd get it if she was turned-on by an athletic physique compared to a body-builder physique and that's why she'd be suggesting more cardio.... dominance, to me, isn't about muscles though. And I do wonder what "female led" means too? Is she threatened/insecure by your physical stature (or potential) as a male? 

Maybe it's not for me to know. I'm just curious 'tis all. Wonder if you'd indulge me.


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## jambo5 (May 29, 2012)

I'm still a bit insecure about it. Time will tell.
My wife has always been more physical than me overall, and has always taken the lead in the bedroom. She tells me that she just wants to be the dominant partner, that she wants to be stronger than me and in control. That is exciting to her and makes her feel fulfilled in the relationship as well, according to her. She is part Cherokee, and I guess they have a history of strong women, so perhaps it's part genetic? Anyway, here you go:
Female Led Marriage - where women lead the home


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

jambo5 said:


> I'm still a bit insecure about it. Time will tell.
> My wife has always been more physical than me overall, and has always taken the lead in the bedroom. She tells me that she just wants to be the dominant partner, that she wants to be stronger than me and in control. That is exciting to her and makes her feel fulfilled in the relationship as well, according to her. She is part Cherokee, and I guess they have a history of strong women, so perhaps it's part genetic? Anyway, here you go:
> Female Led Marriage - where women lead the home


I knew I was being trolled :rofl:


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

coc*hold lifestyle in your future?

maybe you can masterbate as some big stud takes care of her needs.

good luck.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I don`t know what the big deal is, if this works for them then it works for them.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I don`t know what the big deal is, if this works for them then it works for them.


Whatever works indeed. 

I have no issue with this accept that rather than deal with a better balance for two partners, the answer is to just flip the perceived control. I think much of this is an over compensation. Really it just seems to flip the sterotype. There is still a masculine and a feminine. It is just that there is a gender role flip. If this is really who those people are then more power to them.

But yes, you are correct whatever works for them.

My wife and I have from the beginning been in a very balanced relationship. 

Men need to stop drinking out of plastic water bottles ...


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Here is my caution, the only way dominance is maintained, is if it is occasionally challenged.

Find the areas in your marriage that you will NOT let her dominate, and in turn, defend them vigorously.


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## jambo5 (May 29, 2012)

OK - I gave it a go, but it's not working for me. I think we're going to limit the FLR (female led relationship) to the bedroom.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

What happened? Can you elaborate?


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## nxs450 (Apr 17, 2012)

It would be kind of fun a few time in domination fantasy play. But as a full time situation I wouldn't be okay with it. I don't have to worry my wife is small and petite, and I am 6' and 190lbs.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm having a similar problem with the missus ever since she started taking up JJJ recently...

Though she has not reached the stage where she can take me on yet, I am increasingly threatened of her skills knowing that one day, she can literally kick my ass.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> I'm having a similar problem with the missus ever since she started taking up JJJ recently...
> 
> Though she has not reached the stage where she can take me on yet, *I am increasingly threatened of her skills knowing that one day, she can literally kick my ass.*


One big difference here is that his wife wants him to remain weak. In your case your wife is improving herself.

Do you really feel ... threatened? 

What do you do to improve yourself physically? I guess this goes back to Spartan times when the husband would come home and fight his woman. He had to prove himself worthy of having sex. LOL.

I am much stronger than my wife. But frankly she could just hit me over the head with a baseball bat. I don't worry about that.


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## jambo5 (May 29, 2012)

What happened? Too much, too fast. It's been fun in the bedroom, increasingly sexy when she goes to the weight room, and I'm grudgingly OK with her taking over our financial decisions (although I make more than 3 times her salary). But I have found that I can't tolerate it in public places (being subservient) or with family, the traditional male role thing is too ingrained in me. I also hate cleaning house, and I'm not good at it and really just can't get into it. She seems to be super-excited by my "progress", but this seems to be where I draw the line. I will say that it's pretty amazing how quickly her using the weights (and me not) has changed our bodies. It feels great to be slim and fit, I'm getting into yoga along with cycling and running. And she definitely 100% feels more sexy and self-confident being strong. The fact that I am willing to do all of this seems to have boosted our connection to each other, at least for now. But there's only so far I am willing to go here, and at first she got upset, but now compromise seems to be working.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Good God, this board is full of neanderthals.

A woman who is interested in weight lifting (which is fine) is a far cry from a woman who wants a sub (which is also fine).

Many of you seem unable to distinguish between the two. No, I'm not a domme, and I don't want a sub, but I at least know the lingo.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

lamaga said:


> Good God, this board is full of neanderthals.


:rofl:

I`m really starting to like you, especially when we disagree.



Which by the way, we don`t in this particular instance.
This board is full of neanderthals.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Entropy3000 said:


> One big difference here is that his wife wants him to remain weak. In your case your wife is improving herself.
> 
> Do you really feel ... threatened?
> 
> ...


Well, I've always dominated the grappling arena, I've even dated a kickboxer before, but I could always restrain her. JJJ however... 

"Using other's strength against themselves"?
I don't really like the sound of that, or getting my ass kicked by my own wife, there's a certain pride bubble that I do not like to get popped! And yes my wife and I do wrestle, for fun, and foreplay, hence I do feel threatened. Also knowing her, I don't want her to have the physical authority to do what she wishes with me (I've also banned cuffs/restraints from our sex life remember)


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I have been weight lifting and it's awesome. Hubs started the other day  I made him feel my muscles. LOL

Pick up the weights, dude. I do it while watching tv.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

jambo5 said:


> What happened? Too much, too fast. It's been fun in the bedroom, increasingly sexy when she goes to the weight room, and I'm grudgingly OK with her taking over our financial decisions (although I make more than 3 times her salary). But I have found that I can't tolerate it in public places (being subservient) or with family, the traditional male role thing is too ingrained in me. I also hate cleaning house, and I'm not good at it and really just can't get into it. She seems to be super-excited by my "progress", but this seems to be where I draw the line. I will say that it's pretty amazing how quickly her using the weights (and me not) has changed our bodies. It feels great to be slim and fit, I'm getting into yoga along with cycling and running. And she definitely 100% feels more sexy and self-confident being strong. The fact that I am willing to do all of this seems to have boosted our connection to each other, at least for now. But there's only so far I am willing to go here, and at first she got upset, but now compromise seems to be working.


I suggest that if she truly wants to lead the marriage she needs to actually make that money. I get that you turn it over to her but you still hold that power and can take it back at any time.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

lamaga said:


> *Good God, this board is full of neanderthals.*
> 
> A woman who is interested in weight lifting (which is fine) is a far cry from a woman who wants a sub (which is also fine).
> 
> Many of you seem unable to distinguish between the two. No, I'm not a domme, and I don't want a sub, but I at least know the lingo.


I work very hard at being that thank you. ( which is fine ). 

I like fit women. I work with a world class female bodybuilder and strength athlete. Pound for pound she is stronger than me and most men due to her relatively light weight. However I am stronger than her. I am just an IT geek who lifts some weights. It's hormones.

I think there is a lot to be said for the neandrathal view of men on the physical level. I guess my views are more mainstream and less on the fringe. I get that fringe is trendy now. 

Nothing wrong with men who want to be a traditional manly man and also balance this with other positive aspects of character and intelligence.

This other stuff smacks of femdom. Go for it if you like it .... but if this becomes mainstream someone needs to check the whats in the water.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Well, I've always dominated the grappling arena, I've even dated a kickboxer before, but I could always restrain her. JJJ however...
> 
> "Using other's strength against themselves"?
> I don't really like the sound of that, or getting my ass kicked by my own wife, there's a certain pride bubble that I do not like to get popped! And yes my wife and I do wrestle, for fun, and foreplay, hence I do feel threatened. Also knowing her, I don't want her to have the physical authority to do what she wishes with me (I've also banned cuffs/restraints from our sex life remember)


Ok so just tell her to get in the kitchen and make you a pie.

LOL


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## *needaunderstand* (Jun 11, 2012)

wow i would do some weight lifting. if my man was weaker, me personally i would lose some respect. if someone wanted to start a fight, i dont wanna feel like i have to defend him against another man. i would probaly treat him like a child. maybe you can do weight training with her. make it something you do together.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Next stop, anabolic steroids for her, estrogen supplementation for you, and crossdressing for both (or maybe just you). Or just maybe preparing you for the next stage of femdom, the cuckold lifestyle. But hey if it floats both your boats.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

shes systematicly emasculasting you.


turn the tables on her right after she bangs the neibhor as you masterbate watching it jump up and say NOW GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE HIM A SANDWICH BI*CH!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I suppose that there are those women who embrace femdom who are very careful that their agreed upon 'domination' doesn't destroy their husbands love for them and eventually leave them, but there are also women who become addicted to the power trip and begin to mutate into creatures only interested in getting their power fix at any cost. Some can handle power without it corrupting them, while others simply can't.


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## jambo5 (May 29, 2012)

I'm beginning to think that the people on this website are not very open-minded. I will tell you that since I've dropped from 160 lbs and muscular to 140 and slim/fit that women definitely find me MORE attractive than they used to (including my wife, of course). I've also found that men seem to find my wife more attractive with her strong and fit physique. So, all of this talk about me "beefing up" and her being more feminine just doesn't seem to be reflected in reality - just old stereotypes that die hard. And it's a defense mechanism....most men just want to eat, eat, and eat, do zero aerobic activity, and then they lift weights to try to hide their jelly roll. And most women starve themselves to keep their figures rather than exercise and eat well, and they just look unhealthy. By comparison, a strong fit healthy woman looks damn good.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

jambo5 said:


> *I'm beginning to think that the people on this website are not very open-minded. *I will tell you that since I've dropped from 160 lbs and muscular to 140 and slim/fit that women definitely find me MORE attractive than they used to (including my wife, of course). I've also found that men seem to find my wife more attractive with her strong and fit physique. So, all of this talk about me "beefing up" and her being more feminine just doesn't seem to be reflected in reality - just old stereotypes that die hard. And it's a defense mechanism....most men just want to eat, eat, and eat, do zero aerobic activity, and then they lift weights to try to hide their jelly roll. And most women starve themselves to keep their figures rather than exercise and eat well, and they just look unhealthy. By comparison, a strong fit healthy woman looks damn good.


LOL. Awesome dude. Glad you like your new weight. Enjoy. I am not open to lessening myself in any way. So yeah I am close minded to purposely being weak. I am close minded to a lot of other negative things as well. Remember the point was for you to be weaker. That is just sad from my perspective. But what ever you want I suppose.

Women starving themselves is very very sad. This is a malady. Not something good. 

Stong healthy fit women are awesome. They deserve a strong fit hubby too.

With all due repsect I don't you are being totally serious with us. At least I hope not.

Could you let your wife take the keyboard now?


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

No offence, but that's the most emasculating thing ever.


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## jambo5 (May 29, 2012)

Yes, I am being totally serious. And my wife would not be happy if she knew that I was talking about our relationship on a website. Finally, I'm not weak - my legs are quite strong from the cycling (I live in the mountains). Upper body is fit - I do pushups (30 a day). Just no weights. And this is just what we like as a couple, but I can tell you that a fit guy with good legs seems to be more appealing than when I was thick and muscled up. At least where I live it seems to be (the rural south).


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

jambo5 said:


> I appreciate the responses. I think the problem that no one (except perhaps Bianca) is responding to is that my wife explicitly told me that she wanted me to NOT lift weights, and that she wanted me to be slim and fit. I actually love the way that we feel together now, it's pretty exciting - but I'm concerned that deep down although she thinks that she wants this - there's going to be some hardwired part of her that will find me to be less attractive.:scratchhead:


There are women that want their men slimmer than themselves. I had this with a girlfriend who liked to be dominant and she expressed a similar preference; that I should be slim to small shoulders.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

67flh said:


> sounds like she REALLYwants to dominate you even more in the bedroom.


Clearly. If he is OK with being dominated, then that is fine. He should be warned that it will not end when they leave the bedroom. If he is happy with that, they will be very happy together.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

jambo5 said:


> I'm beginning to think that the people on this website are not very open-minded. I will tell you that since I've dropped from 160 lbs and muscular to 140 and slim/fit that women definitely find me MORE attractive than they used to (including my wife, of course). I've also found that men seem to find my wife more attractive with her strong and fit physique. So, all of this talk about me "beefing up" and her being more feminine just doesn't seem to be reflected in reality - just old stereotypes that die hard. And it's a defense mechanism....most men just want to eat, eat, and eat, do zero aerobic activity, and then they lift weights to try to hide their jelly roll. And most women starve themselves to keep their figures rather than exercise and eat well, and they just look unhealthy. By comparison, a strong fit healthy woman looks damn good.


Most women would agree. However, most women would want their man to be strong er than them. 

There are a few women who will want their man to be weaker and it is the extreme end of dominieering. My experience of a women like that was that the reverse equivalent would be an old fashioned conservative man with a Thai bride. As a rather clever man (in my PhD lab, I was considered very clever), she would often intelletually speak down to me. When she once said I was more intelligent, it was a problem rather than a compliment.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Wow! An ancient (2012) thread revived! Nevertheless interesting.
My current wife and I are about the same height, me about 1/2" - 1" taller. she is about 30 lbs heavier than me because she's heavy and I'm not. She can push me around a bit when we're playing but overall I'm stronger and in much better shape.

I once dated a gal much younger than me and a big strong girl.
She knew judo and a bit of karate. she supposedly had beaten up a guy or two over the years. She told me she could take me down and she did. Actually it was kind of a turn on to me.
I never let her dominate me in the relationship at all, but the physical strength was kind of a turn on.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Due to human psychology, if it is not a gay or asexual male it is much safer for the man to be more physically dominant and stronger, and harder body than the female.

If it is an asexual or gay male who likes to be in a female role, it won't really matter.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I don't know. I know a guy whose 5' 6", 135 pounds, a forth degree black belt and when he walks down the street with his wife, she feels safe, secure and protected. 

I saw what this guy can do and it amazes me that someone that size can disable someone way bigger and not break a sweat.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

6301 said:


> I don't know. I know a guy whose 5' 6", 135 pounds, a forth degree black belt and when he walks down the street with his wife, she feels safe, secure and protected.
> 
> I saw what this guy can do and it amazes me that someone that size can disable someone way bigger and not break a sweat.


Do you think this husband has a problem not getting enough sex?



Probably not, but there are some sharp, physically dominant, powerful men who are still denied by their wives.


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## rikkat (Dec 16, 2014)

I myself would not worry about it...only because I would love to be a lot more stronger than my husband..as a matter of fact I do not want my husband to workout only because I know he will become way more stronger than me. I myself try to workout with weights not regularity like I would like to...but my intentions are to someday beat the crap out of him on a regular whether he needed it or not....just saying hehe


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