# My H is using an out-of-state service to file for a divorce!



## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

My H said that he is filing for a D. We live in Texas and I figured he would go to someone local. Instead he contacted a shady lawyer in Oklahoma. I only know this because I was checking phone records and found the out of state number. I thought that all states had different D laws. How can he use an out of state lawyer to file for D? Not to mention the lawyer he chose has a horrible reputation and is barely out of law school. Is this legit or am I going to receive a nice chuckle when he waste a few hundred dollars?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Lawyers can work in multiple states they are licensed ie passed the bar in that state
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

Yeah, so H is using some weird lawyer with a bad rap to get him a cheap D! The D papers will be mailed to him by Monday and then we will decide who gets what! This is unbelievable! Why would anyone in this country take marriage seriously when you can get a D through the mail? I wonder if H knows that he legally can't file for another week because we haven't lived in our current county for 90 days? Who cares? He can figure it out for himself!


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

Does anyone know how a divorce through the mail works? Is there anything I should do to protect myself? Do I need to talk to a lawyer?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yes, talk to a lawyer.


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

I got the papers in the mail today. They look like something that I could type and print on my computer. Going through the papers, I realized that they made a mistake when they were writing the papers. My H has said that I get to keep our car and he will keep our truck. I agree to this 100%. Only in the D papers, it says that he get both and I get nothing. Right now, I am waiting for H to get home from the gym so that we can go over this together. I am kind of nervous that he is going to get angry because I am not signing anything the way it is worded right now.


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

Definitely dont sign anything you are not comfortable with. Dont worry about he will take it, YOU need to be comfortable with signing a legal binding document. I would recommend reviewing any documents with a lawyer before signing to make sure you are protected


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

So I told H about the mistake in the D papers. Without even looking at them, he said "oh don't worry. I will get it taken care of." He didn't ask to see the papers or anything. Personally, his actions have not been leaning towards D. Could he be having a change of heart? I thought he would be livid because I wouldn't sign the papers. He has been talking about these papers for over a week. Now that they are here, he doesn't seem so enthusiastic all of the sudden.


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

somuchinlove:

Good move do not sign anything. I assume their are no children based on your post.

What about cash on hand? Are there other assets? Who is making what in income? What are the autos worth? For example if his truck is worth 20k and your car is work 10k and they are both paid for, he owes you the difference 5k.

Has he been hiding money over the last year? Sounds like he wants to push this through quick using an out of state lawyer.

Get his lawyers name and address. From this you call the Texas bar make sure his lawyer has a license to practice in your state.


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

gonefishin said:


> somuchinlove:
> 
> Good move do not sign anything. I assume their are no children based on your post.
> 
> ...


My H is actually still giving me cash on a weekly basis. He has also continued t pay all the bills. He is the only one who works and has been for two years. We don't have any other major assets. His truck is brand new and he is still paying on it. My car is paid off. 

I know he has one account that we direct deposit money into every week. We usually use it to pay our mortgage at the end of the month. If he has another account somewhere, I do not know about it at all. My H is not good with money either. He is the type to get his paycheck and hand it over to me so I can handle all the finances.

It has seemed like he wanted this D to happen ASAP, but his actions aren't matching his words anymore. HE didn't even look at the D papers at all. The company he went through is Budget Conscious Divorce aka. AAA Divorce and Mediation Services aka. Crossroads Agency aka. American Budget Divorce Services. So far I have learned that the manager there is Jeff Nalley. I don't think that there is actually a lawyer that works there. I tried to find him in the Texas and Oklahoma Bar Association but came up with nothing. The only thing that I can find out about this business is the phone number and address. It is really fishy to me though.

Has anybody used this company before? Is it legit?


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

Do not sign anything.

Are your parents around to advise you on this. Can they help you with a legal fees? I have no idea what your husband is up to, but this is very strange.

You need legal advise. This paperwork that he sent you is garbage. He is wasting money on that crap.

Is the house in both your names? You have a lot of work to do. Just be careful and do nothing without the help of an attorney. Your husband is going to look very foolish when you meet with a Texas attorney. An average attorney will eat that paper work your husband produced for lunch.

Is your marriage worth saving?


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

gonefishin said:


> Do not sign anything.
> 
> *Are your parents around to advise you on this. Can they help you with a legal fees?* I have no idea what your husband is up to, but this is very strange.
> 
> ...


My mom lives about 4 hours away from me at the moment. She said the same thing, Get A Lawyer. The only problem is she is living pay check to pay check and can't help me financially with an attorney. My H on the other hand not only has a great paying job, but his family is kind of loaded. We are currently in his hometown, surrounded by his family. We are in the process of buying a house from his dad, so he has the upper hand on that note. 

The only thing is that he obviously is too much of a tightwad to pay for a D the right way. And it appears that his family does not agree with this decision. So I don't think that they will give him funds for an attorney either. 

I believe that my marriage is definitely worth saving. I know it is. My H is dealing with some heavy stuff psychologically right now. I think that he is trying to "spare" me what he thinks will be an ugly situation for. The only problem with that is our wedding vows. For better or for worse means a lot to me. This just happens to be "worse" right now. I think if he really wanted a D he would use a reputable and local attorney to handle this. I know that I have contacted a lawyer and he said he would look at any paper work I had and try to advise me on what to do.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Yeah, something sounds shady here and your H seems more than happy to help make the revisions. Something doesn't smell right at all. 

Seems too shady to me.


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

My only advise is drag your feet on this and get a lawyer. if your husband pushes you to sign the paper work it is a red flag. Do not sign.

The good news is; your in laws do not want their son rushing to a divorce. Your father in law is trying to sell you and your husband property. Let your father in law know where you stand. You want to make the marriage work.

Good luck


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

gonefishin said:


> My only advise is drag your feet on this and get a lawyer. if your husband pushes you to sign the paper work it is a red flag. Do not sign.
> 
> The good news is; your in laws do not want their son rushing to a divorce. Your father in law is trying to sell you and your husband property. Let your father in law know where you stand. You want to make the marriage work.
> 
> Good luck


Very sound advice. Thanks a million!


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

Still haven't received the D papers (revised). It has been a week. The first time they were sent it took two days. H also said something funny. He said "we are both going through this divorce...i mean separation." Not sure what is going on with him but he is starting to get to me really bad!!


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