# One year and I will be gone!



## BitterSweetSymphony (Jan 28, 2009)

I got married last April to a man that everyone likes. He has manners and he is smart. I know he will never cheat on me or hit and he does love me very much.

Issue: I hit hard times and I can not find a job. I live in Michigan and the unemployment rate is 13% in my area so the logical thing to do would be to think about moving. And since I have been looking for going on a year it does not sound like a bad idea at this point. 

Since I have been unemployed we have been living at his parents house. My husband swore up and down that he would look for work too, but that has not been the case. He put out one application and swore his pal at the school were he interns was gonna get him that IT job. He had the whole year and he put all of his faith in this one job. Guess what, he did not get it. He said he is fine with it and has no issues living with mom and dad. I ask him if he would like to go job hunting with me and he says "no I like my internship because its fun and good work experience". Oh and his mother supports his fun internship because having a job you enjoy is very important. The fact that it is 18 hours a week and min/wage is not important. So for the time being I make more than my husband in my unemployment.

Maybe this sounds terrible, but I lost respect for him over this. I am out nonstop putting out applications and he plays guitar hero all day. I am so disgusted with him and myself. I bring up looking in other places for work and he says it is out of the question because his parents are old. His dad is 72 and his mom is 68 and they have more energy than I do. They want me out and I told them it would only be for a few moths.

If things do not change in a year I have to leave him. I have little respect for a man that behaves like this. I know I made a big mistake getting married, but to my defense I knew him for three years and by all accounts he was motivated. Now he play guitar hero all day and I have to tell him to shower before he goes to his part time job that he keeps because it is fun.

I do nto expect a man to take care of me. I expect a man to be just as hard working as me and to want to be a team with me. I am not getting that here. He wants me to find the full time job so he can paly at his part time internship while mom and dad pay for all of his needs.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

BitterSweetSymphony said:


> Now he play guitar hero all day and I have to tell him to shower before he goes to his part time job that he keeps because it is fun.


maybe he's depressed and just stuck in a rut? if you said he was motivated before, maybe something happened. i hardly think that someone who plays games all day, doesnt shower, lives with his parents, and cant support himself or his wife, is feeling very good about himself. 

I think its good that you're giving it one more year. but make sure you try different things to work on the marriage. insanity is trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

About his parents- why do they want you to leave? how does your H feel about this? where are you going to go? is your H coming with you? If you move out in a few months b/c the in-laws are telling you to leave, then im guessing that'll settle things quickly.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

ljtseng said:


> insanity is trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results.


sage advice...


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## carmaenforcer (Mar 7, 2008)

Man I could only imagine how many marriages/relationships will be lost, how many people will break-up because of money problems during these trying times. 
My ex-Wife left me after I was out of work for three months and she probably could have had some of the same complaints about me, that you have about your husband. This is a product of reverse sexism and or a double standard that a lot of men have to suffer in a supposedly enlightened society.
In my case I supported my ex-Wife for two (2) years prior to this and she started having issues only after a few weeks of my being out of work and her working to pay our bills, most of which were hers anyway.

Unemployment, I'm sure has a lot of people living with their parents again. It sounds to me that with a 13% unemployment rate in your state, your husband is lucky to have even a part time job. Heck if I didn't have a baby to worry about I would love to play XBOX all day and live rent free with my parents. 
I say if you are so unhappy with your husbands cavalier attitude towards his situation then I suggest you leave and see how life treats you elsewhere. Given there are no children of coarse. I mean you are doing no body any good by nit picking when he is just opting to be happy regardless of the grim reality.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

carmaenforcer said:


> Man I could only imagine how many marriages/relationships will be lost, how many people will break-up because of money problems during these trying times.


So true.


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## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

Tell him. Sit him down, write a letter, tape it to his guitar - whatever it takes. 

Tell him you love him but need him to be a team with you. see what he says.


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