# What are you really thinking (men)



## happynconfused (Feb 28, 2013)

Hello- I was curious as to what men really think when they are watching a show with their wives and a naked woman comes on? I have asked my husband (married 4 years) and he said "nothing, it doesn't phase him". I have to say when a naked man comes on, I don't think anything either. Not "I want him" or anything like that. I have heard men say all they think is how they "want" the woman. Is this correct?


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

I'm guessing it's correct for some and not for others. Or it's situation dependent.

I know my husband can look at one naked actress and not be attracted to her and it may not even reach his radar, but another may pique his interest.

Too many variables to nail down (oops- no pun intended).


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## happynconfused (Feb 28, 2013)

How do you know what they are really thinking though lol. I think my husband is very honest with me, so I do not think he "dreams" about them, I was just curious as to if he secretly thinks about them. I doubt it.


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

I would say that it depends on the setting and reasons for why she is naked. I wouldn't say that I ever think "Oh I wish I had her", but I might think "I wish my wife would look at me like that" or something along those lines.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

"Want" the woman, no. Notice her form and perhaps admire it, sure. 

Naked woman, or man, one of us is likely to make so form of comment, usually something tongue in cheek judgemental.

Me: Daenerys has a nice rack

W: I think everyone can agree to that


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

I cannot be my husband's thought police (nor would I want him to be mine)...that would be crazy making...

It sounds like you've asked your husband what he thinks, yet you still question his response? And now you're searching for a consensus among other men to determine the probability of whether your husband may or may not be secretly thinking about them?


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

happynconfused said:


> Hello- I was curious as to what men really think when they are watching a show with their wives and a naked woman comes on? I have asked my husband (married 4 years) and he said "nothing, it doesn't phase him". I have to say when a naked man comes on, I don't think anything either. Not "I want him" or anything like that. I have heard men say all they think is how they "want" the woman. Is this correct?


I get a little embarrassed. Well, not anymore. Not since D-Day...


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## happynconfused (Feb 28, 2013)

Do you ever compare your wife to them?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

At times i will compare my wife to them (not of any longing), but mostly i enjoy looking at body shapes, less sexual and more of a curiosity depending how much movement the actors are doing.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Depends. Sometimes I may think or say, "Nice!" Other times, nothing. Comparisons: no - unless my wife is prettier (and often, she actually is). My wife checks out the naked men, so fair is fair.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

happynconfused said:


> I have asked my husband (married 4 years) and he said "nothing, it doesn't phase him".


So "A" your husband appears to be a wise man  and "B" no one has to be naked to appreciate beauty. Getting married should not equate to entering a coma. It's only an issue when the reaction becomes inappropriate.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

happynconfused said:


> Hello- I was curious as to what men really think when they are watching a show with their wives and a naked woman comes on? I have asked my husband (married 4 years) and he said "nothing, it doesn't phase him". I have to say when a naked man comes on, I don't think anything either. Not "I want him" or anything like that. I have heard men say all they think is how they "want" the woman. Is this correct?


If she's hot, I think "she's hot."

If she has a nice rack, I think "she has a nice rack."

If she has a big bush, I think "that's a big bush."

Given that I'm not 16 and I get frequent sex, I don't fantasize about the woman or give it much thought, past that.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

CharlieParker said:


> "Want" the woman, no. Notice her form and perhaps admire it, sure.
> 
> Naked woman, or man, one of us is likely to make so form of comment, usually something tongue in cheek judgemental.
> 
> ...


We've had the exact same conversation!

In fact, my wife commented a while back "why doesn't Khaleesi get naked any more?"


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

happynconfused said:


> Do you ever compare your wife to them?


This whole thread had me scratching my thread until you said this. Now I get why you asked and what it is that you don't understand. I can even answer your question simply, and without incriminating anyone.

Women Compare.

Men Collect.

MN


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I don't care what my H thinks, it's not like is going to jump through the screen and boink her.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

happynconfused said:


> Do you ever compare your wife to them?


My wife is the one who compares other women to herself. I honestly can't think of a time where I thought gee I wish I had that, or she is hotter than my wife. It never even crosses my mind that I should compare.

My wife is also far more likely to point out a nice set of boobs than I am, or any other naked body part for that matter.

We were watching an episode of the Newly Wed game a while back, and one of the questions was basically who does does your husband think is hot...my wife and I have been together for four years, and she couldn't come up with a single name other than hers. If the question were reversed...well, there wouldn't be enough time left in the show for me to name them all...


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## happynconfused (Feb 28, 2013)

Men collect? I find that hard to believe that all men are the same. And to say that my husband is "wise" as to mean he was lying to me? really come on. All I asked was if men think sexually when they see a naked woman. I think the majority (or the mature ones), the happily married ones would say no. I think many men want to act like the are 20 and make a naked woman something more than it is. We are in our 40's, so maybe my husband is not lying to me.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

I think the worst thing you can ever do is find out what the other person is really thinking.


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## Luvher4life (Jan 15, 2016)

There's a huge difference between fantasy and reality. I can appreciate beauty and sexiness just like any other man. So can my wife. Does it really matter what one thinks of somebody else if you still turn each other on? I have more lust for my wife than anybody else I've ever looked at, and she is real.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Mr. Nail said:


> This whole thread had me scratching my thread until you said this. Now I get why you asked and what it is that you don't understand. I can even answer your question simply, and without incriminating anyone.
> 
> Women Compare.
> 
> ...


Agreed.

The only thing I've ever thought is "it would be cool if that chick were actually here in bed... With both of us."

Never instead of her.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

marduk said:


> If she's hot, I think "she's hot."
> 
> If she has a nice rack, I think "she has a nice rack."
> 
> ...


Pretty accurate for me, too. My current gf gets livid if I notice another attractive woman. She got mad the other day and I told her that now that I know it hurts her, I would never make a comment, no matter how innocent, about another pretty woman. She told be that wasn't enough, that she didn't even want me thinking another woman was pretty. I didn't know what to say. I told her if I see a pretty woman, that I might notice she was pretty but it wouldn't really cause any emotional response. About like looking at a really fancy, nice car and thinking that it sure was beautiful. Her response-- "So you're comparing me to a car?" I said, "No, I'm just saying a pretty woman and a pretty car are both pretty, but I am not wanting to own either one. I just like looking". That was not the response she was looking for. I'm supposed to look up "thought stopping". Geez, you ladies sure can be jealous and such sometimes. I'm really not planning on doing any thought stopping, mainly just mouth stopping. But I have no intention of ever, ever cheating, either. Don't have any desire to and never have.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Evinrude58 said:


> Pretty accurate for me, too. My current gf gets livid if I notice another attractive woman. She got mad the other day and I told her that now that I know it hurts her, I would never make a comment, no matter how innocent, about another pretty woman. She told be that wasn't enough, that she didn't even want me thinking another woman was pretty. I didn't know what to say. I told her if I see a pretty woman, that I might notice she was pretty but it wouldn't really cause any emotional response. About like looking at a really fancy, nice car and thinking that it sure was beautiful. Her response-- "So you're comparing me to a car?" I said, "No, I'm just saying a pretty woman and a pretty car are both pretty, but I am not wanting to own either one. I just like looking". That was not the response she was looking for. I'm supposed to look up "thought stopping". Geez, you ladies sure can be jealous and such sometimes. I'm really not planning on doing any thought stopping, mainly just mouth stopping. But I have no intention of ever, ever cheating, either. Don't have any desire to and never have.


I'd be reconsidering that relationship. I went through that with my wife, and it was because she was cheated on in an LTR and wanted to own my grey matter.

It took years for her to trust me and deal with it. It still can be brutal at times.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

marduk said:


> Agreed.
> 
> The only thing I've ever thought is "it would be cool if that chick were actually here in bed... With both of us."
> 
> Never instead of her.


That's just weird. I never think that. If I thought she was hot, I might think how much fun it might be to have sex with her, but not with my wife. And, it would be a passing fantasy that I wouldn't think about again. I don't feed thoughts like that, and like a stray cat, the thoughts just go away.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Evinrude58 said:


> That's just weird. I never think that. If I thought she was hot, I might think how much fun it might be to have sex with her, but not with my wife. And, it would be a passing fantasy that I wouldn't think about again. I don't feed thoughts like that, and like a stray cat, the thoughts just go away.


It's very rare. 

My point is, I don't think I've ever wished a hot naked chick on TV was there instead of my wife.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

If you ask a question, then reject the answers you get because you know better . . . . .

Oh never mind that's what you did to your Husband.

If a man is walking alone in the woods and he says something, and no woman hears it, Is he still wrong?


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

happynconfused said:


> Men collect? *I find that hard to believe that all men are the same.* And to say that my husband is "wise" as to mean he was lying to me? really come on. *All I asked was if men think sexually when they see a naked woman.* I think the majority (or the mature ones), the happily married ones would say no. I think many men want to act like the are 20 and make a naked woman something more than it is. We are in our 40's, so maybe my husband is not lying to me.


You asked a question to a general population when you were actually looking for an answer from a specific person (your husband). 

He said it did effect him...period. you either believe him or you don't.

If he was lying to spare a reaction....it makes perfect sense.

As others have pointed out..in general, men and women are different (which give credence to the poster who said men collect, women compare).

Your question has comparative analysis written all over it.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

marduk said:


> I'd be reconsidering that relationship. I went through that with my wife, and it was because she was cheated on in an LTR and wanted to own my grey matter.
> 
> It took years for her to trust me and deal with it. It still can be brutal at times.


I think she does have some deep rooted problems with worrying about me cheating. However, I'm hoping it won't be a problem. I'm not a cheater, won't ever be a cheater, am 100% transparent, etc. I think she will come to find I am a totally trustworthy person on that. I know my weaknesses, and that's not one of them.
When I first met her, I was texting and "dating" quite a few women online. I had started dating way too soon and was acting like a fool. When I met my gf, all that stopped. However, I'm a pretty open person and let her know about my bad deeds if you want to call them that. I wanted her to know the real me and such. I never liked all the different women stuff, anyway. She has my phone passwords and such, and does look when she feels like it. I have the same. She's a very trustworthy, loyal person. I'm actually asking her to marry me tonight. Yes, I know there's lots of things to worry about. I am. But there's no way I'm going to let fear of the unknown ruin my chance of happiness with this fine woman. If it doesn't work out, so be it.
I plan on it working out and being very happy. And I'm not a quitter. But I am a realist. If we are just incompatible, it is what it is. I plan on staying married to her from now on. Very much love this woman, and we think a lot alike and are very happy with one another for the past 15 months or so. We spend all our free time together. So I feel I know her pretty well.

Sorry for the threadjack.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

happynconfused said:


> Do you ever compare your wife to them?


Not the body, only the attitude and why she can't be more aggressive and sexy.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Mostly I get uneasy. I fear she might think Im perving on it. On a side note; when I used to watch porn, I never wanted any of them girls, but I did wish Mrs Thound would be open to some things.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Read His Needs, Her Needs with your husband. He isn't meeting your needs. I'm thinking you want him to lust after you. Apparently he isn't showing you how much he wants you? This isn't unusual. Some of it is in you and some is him.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I'm the wrong guy to ask. I'm 25 years past being a teenager, but my mind and drive have evolved little in between.

I'm thinking about how much fun it would be to bend her over the side of the couch and pound away.

But i'm not normal so don't give that much weight.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

happynconfused said:


> Hello- I was curious as to what men really think when they are watching a show with their wives and a naked woman comes on? I have asked my husband (married 4 years) and he said "nothing, it doesn't phase him". I have to say when a naked man comes on, I don't think anything either. Not "I want him" or anything like that. I have heard men say all they think is how they "want" the woman. Is this correct?



I did a post on this once.. on a thread with a similar question >> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/24519-way-men-really-think.html though the question was more if the women was







.. not necessarily naked.. more like a Bo Derek  on the beach or something.. 



I will copy & paste how he explained it.. I spoke about another posters response (Unbelievable below) which sounded pretty normal to me, in all honesty.. we may be married.. but we're not dead.. 




> unbelievable said:
> 
> 
> > I have already said that fixating on a woman (ie, imaging an actual sex act with her or fantasizing about her stripping) is a bit creepy and, of course, that is a choice. My point is that there is an immediate "yes", "no", "Maybe if I was drunk" sort of selection going on for the briefest of nanoseconds in every male brain (at least the straight ones). Having been male for nearly 50 years, I have been "listening" to "yep", "nope", "no way in hell", etc every day for at least 40 years. Of the thousands of guys I have worked and lived closely with, they all seem to have the same thing going on. Naturally, only a creton would attempt to act on those thoughts and one would be sort of a perv to dwell on the subject and create disgusting mental scenarios. I'm a Christian and I'm married. Neither experience rendered me blind or oblivious to my surroundings. The OP asked how men thought and I've given the most honest answer I can.
> ...


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## 247769 (May 18, 2016)

'Um, I have the real thing right here" I can touch it, squeeze it , and make it mine. 
That's what goes through my mind. And if she's doing something sexy I want my wife to do something sexy too.

Sent from my XT1060 using Tapatalk


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

happynconfused said:


> Hello- I was curious as to what men really think when they are watching a show with their wives and a naked woman comes on? I have asked my husband (married 4 years) and he said "nothing, it doesn't phase him". I have to say when a naked man comes on, I don't think anything either. Not "I want him" or anything like that. I have heard men say all they think is how they "want" the woman. Is this correct?


Odds are by the time most men are married they have seen so much porn that R-rated nudity, while entertaining, is only on par seeing a food commercial when you might be a little hungry. Would an all-you-can eat shrimp fest commercial from Red Lobster look appetizing? A little, but never enough to call me into action. Will I compare that to the meal my wife cooks later? No, her home cooked food is freaking awesome! 



happynconfused said:


> Do you ever compare your wife to them?


Odds are I am comparing myself to the men in the film and feeling like I need to get myself into better shape.

Cheers,
Badsanta


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Usually I think about having sex with my wife when I see a woman naked on the television. I don't think about wanting the actress. Though, I may think "Well, she's got nice boobs." In reality though, I'm a fan of most boobs.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Very much depends on the woman on TV - naked or not!

I can look at some naked women like I look at a piece of furniture - fine form but not for me! Especially fake boobs, force dieted skinniness, any work done on the face, botox etc are all turn offs more than anything. Then there are others that are pretty and interesting to look at but not a turn on. 

However …. and my wife knows the minute they come on the screen even before I do ….. there are some that are attractive to me straight away clothed or not. And yes, they are similar to my wife in appearance and mannerisms - smouldering etc! And I just sheepishly smile and say "she's nice!"


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## jdawg2015 (Feb 12, 2015)

There are plenty of hot women on television but I've never been fixated on one or had fantasy's about. 

Actually this discussion came up and my thought process was more about how TV stars/celebrities have some of the most screwed up relationships on the planet to make me not want to get mixed into that world. Sure the money would be nice but I'm sure it's not easy for them either. One they get that stardom they never really know who is in it for their money, fame, or what.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

Sometimes it's just nice to admire the scenery, even though it's to some place that you have no intention of traveling to.

If I might be allowed to paraphrase something once said by W. C. Fields .... "(Other) Women are like elephants. They're nice to look at but you wouldn't want to own one."


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

My wife when we are out will often say "Oh, isn't that girl pretty?" As she point to some thin creature with a face like a hatchet.

Eventually I said "No. I think she looks ugly!"

She then said: "Well what type of women DO you fancy?"

By chance a girl who looks almost exactly the same as my wife came into view. And she was HOT! I pointed her out to my wife.

She laughed and said "Oh! That's my cousin! People say we are very alike in looks!" 

My wife then looked at me puzzled, said "Oh!" I then gave her a cuddle and said "Now you know what my type is!"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I think someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her $hit.....next.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

There is a cost/benefit to everything that comes out of a persons mouth, and once something is said and heard, it can never be unsaid or unheard. A person has no control over how another person will react or respond to something said and heard...they can only control whether or not they say it, and then play the odds as to how the other will react.

For myself, I just see no real benefit, nothing to gain by saying things to my wife about other women. I know she'd be fine with it, and it wouldn't bother her, but for myself, I just don't feel any compulsion to blurt those kinds of things out. Though I don't typically say things just to hear myself talk...


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

marduk said:


> We've had the exact same conversation!
> 
> In fact, my wife commented a while back "why doesn't Khaleesi get naked any more?"


Supposedly Khaleesi's new TV contract prohibits full frontal nudity...


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

If I find the woman attractive I may have a momentary thought of what it would be like to touch her, play with her, have her, have my GF have her ..... whatever. They are never in depth "i want to be with this woman" because I have no idea what she is like personality wise and I have grown past the age of placing attractiveness above a ****ty personality. So mostly just looking at them as a sexual being and going wow she is smoking hot. I would say that my curiosity on such things are more with real life women than actresses on a 2 dimension screen.

But yes I was thrilled how game of thrones ended last Sunday


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> But yes I was thrilled how game of thrones ended last Sunday


I'll take that as a good spoiler, and I must catch up.

I find it's one thing commenting on woman on TV as opposed to IRL. One time driving with my wife a smoking hot chick is walking her dog and they practically jumped in front of the car. I say something like oh what a cute dog. Wife says to me what the hell is wrong with you, you notice the cute dog but not the hot chick. I said oh I noticed, it would be hard not to, I'm just not going to say anything about her with you in the car.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

CharlieParker said:


> I'll take that as a good spoiler, and I must catch up.
> 
> I find it's one thing commenting on woman on TV as opposed to IRL. One time driving with my wife a smoking hot chick is walking her dog and they practically jumped in front of the car. I say something like oh what a cute dog. Wife says to me what the hell is wrong with you, you notice the cute dog but not the hot chick. I said oh I noticed, it would be hard not to, I'm just not going to say anything about her with you in the car.


I hear ya. I may get away with more since my GF is bi curious. She admits to finding some women really sexy so that is something we discuss. I try to guess the women she finds sexy and will comment to see if I get it right. I can tell you we have different tastes in women lol. She doesn't like blondes at all and not much for the redheads but man she loves the brunettes. 

Neither of us are jealous people by nature but I think it has so much to do with the given relationship. We have trust in this area but both had bad experiences in the past. I don't feel threatened when she comments about a guy and she doesn't when I comment about a girl.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

CharlieParker said:


> "Want" the woman, no. Notice her form and perhaps admire it, sure.
> 
> Naked woman, or man, one of us is likely to make so form of comment, usually something tongue in cheek judgemental.
> 
> ...


That was pretty damn hot - pun intended!

I think it all depends on the situation.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

I am not a man but have had this conversation with my husband (we have been married 24 years). My husband is very lustful and right from the beginning, not something that developed over time. When we were dating he would stare at other women and absolutely lock-on, fixated. This was women with their clothes on. He told at he wonder what their story was which I thought to be an odd response but it continued and one day I asked when when he had been drinking and he told me that he stripped these women naked and imagined what it was like to have sex with them. He justified himself by saying that he had spent plenty years single. We were together so I felt the habit was not healthy and it was something he was practicing with me on our time out together which did not feel good to me but I justified it, saying to myself he would just need time to feel comfortable in a relationship, as I was convinced that he was really hurt by women and was not sure he could trust....something he told me and I believed. He could not keep his eyes off women though, so much so that I could be talking to him while he was staring and he would not hear me. He was flirty with the waitresses. In our first year of marriage he had his first emotional affair which might be better described as a seriously pursuing infatuation on his part. I do not feel it was a mutual relationship. He would make a point to talk to her, he laughed her laughing at his jokes and I think he was getting a high from her attention. This was a time in our lives where we should have still been in a honeymoon stage and he was chasing other skirts. Two more of these emotional affairs would play out, the second lady was pursuing him as much as he was pursuing her. This one may have been physical, he never admitted. He would watch a movie and if a pretty lady came on the screen he would cross his legs instantly which this happened over and over again. When asked he said he was not doing it. I figured he was either hiding a potential erection. Porn issues followed, lie and more lies about that. We had counseling, he admitted to his desires for these other women and told our counselor that he thought men were this way which is exactly what he told me, he felt I had to accept all this. No matter how much we talked, how much counseling we had it never changed. I have filed for divorce. Tired of being the nobody in his life while he seeks others.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

john117 said:


> Supposedly Khaleesi's new TV contract prohibits full frontal nudity...


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Meh, I'm more of a Cersei short hair type...


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

TX-SC said:


> Usually I think about having sex with my wife when I see a woman naked on the television. I don't think about wanting the actress. Though, I may think "Well, she's got nice boobs." In reality though, I'm a fan of most boobs.


Like wise...if I see a love scene I think about me and wife doing that. The more sexually satisfied most men are...the less likely he will notice other women.

Remember hearing one woman here say about keeping her man from looking is to "Keep his belly full and his balls empty" and he will be happy with what he has at home.


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