# Sex Drive....OVERKILL! LOL!!!



## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

Hola Amigos! 

In most postings on this forum, I've read about wives who aren't attracted to their husbands (anymore) to those who can't (seem) to get enough of their "husbands"; I, however, am part of the latter! BUT.....he (to me) doesn't seem all that interested!  

I WANT HIM ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!! ...and just the thought of him, sends me spiraling, sexually out of control. I want him, and NEED him to sex me every way imaginable! I have fantasies, but unfortunately, cannot share with him as he does NOT share the same. UGH!!!!! It is very frustrating!!  I provide ALL kinds of hints, subtle and direct, and he still won't bite!  It appears that he's most interested in playing that damn PS3 as opposed to playing with me! I am not a shy woman, and am OPEN / GAME for whatever his heart desires! BUT....womp, womp, he falls asleep after playing that PS3 for HOURS when he gets home from work! Don't get me wrong, when we are intimate, OMG when we are intimate, he satisfies me tremendously, JUST NOT ENOUGH!!! Two / Three times a month is NOT gonna cut it!! 

Not that it matters, but I'm an attractive, petite, confident woman! His nickname for me: "Sexymomma". I cook, clean, cater to his every need...I take care of EVERYTHING! ...and I mean EVERYTHING!!  He in turn, is an EXCELLENT provider / protector, and he often refers to me as his "ride or die chick" as I ALWAYS GOT HIS BACK! ...but NOW I need him in back of me! (wink  wink) 

Our oldest graduated from college, and we have another in middle school. I'm 41, but have since caught the "baby fever" (past 5 years)! He is aware of this, and appears to strongly oppose the idea! I'd like to have a GIRL, but we barely MAKE enough LOVE for this! My guess: "he doesn't want to get me pregnant"!!  ....OR, perhaps he's no longer "attracted" to me! I'm speculating (I know)! 

At any rate, Angela Bassett's character said it best, "I always thought IF I gave him what he needed, HE'D GIVE ME WHAT I NEEDED" (Waiting to Exhale)!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I hate video games and its a pet pevee of mine that adults waste time playing video games.espically when they got a hot sexy momma they could be riding every night!

crazy I tell ya!


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> I hate video games and its a pet pevee of mine that adults waste time playing video games.espically when they got a hot sexy momma they could be riding every night!
> 
> crazy I tell ya!



YES IT IS!! I often tell him, in hopes it'll make him THINK, about how men would kill / appreciate having a wife like me! He shrugs it off and says, "yeah....but you're MY wife"! He is soooo confident that I won't step out on him, and he's right!


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Perhaps because of the age of your other children, he is done changing diapers and wants to enjoy your time together. That can be a reason why he isn't banging you as often as you like.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I think he's seriously avoiding trying to get you pregnant.


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> Perhaps because of the age of your other children, he is done changing diapers and *wants to enjoy your time together*. That can be a reason why he isn't banging you as often as you like.



I'd accept that as a reasonably acceptable answer IF he were "spending MORE time w/me" as oppose to his electronic mistress! Although my wanting to have another baby is just that, a "want", it doesn't negate the fact, however, that intimacy is still lacking...wanting a baby or not.


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

sinnister said:


> I think he's seriously avoiding trying to get you pregnant.



:iagree:


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Maybe he enjoys having this power over you, it's like a little game. He doesn't have to chase you for it, so it's value decreases for him.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

SexyChic41 said:


> I'd accept that as a reasonably acceptable answer IF he were "spending MORE time w/me" as oppose to his electronic mistress! Although my wanting to have another baby is just that, a "want", it doesn't negate the fact, however, that intimacy is still lacking...wanting a baby or not.


It's possible that he is using the video game nonsense as a way to avoid being with you and end up having sex for the same reason (pregnancy). 

I cannot understand for the life of me any guy that would rather play a game than bang his wife out, so he may just be waiting you out and hope that you'll fall asleep. 

The possible third child issue looks to be the root of your problem here.


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

indiecat said:


> Maybe he enjoys having this power over you, it's like a little game. He doesn't have to chase you for it, so it's value decreases for him.



Now this I have completely considered, which is why I am NOT overbearing at all. I give him his space, and ONLY enter his mancave, when absolutely necessary! However, when I want / need attention, I definitely am assertive re this, but still enter at my own risk despite the ultimate REJECTION! UGH!! 

I understand the demands / pressures that he has at work; thus, I do everything possible to ensure that when MY KING enters his castle, ALL is well, dinner is served at his convenience, as he ONLY eats when he is done "unwinding". BUT, WTF??? ....who unwinds for 4-5hrs everyday??? 

At times, I don't even initiate, but WAIT PATIENTLY for him to "chase" me. I am quite appealing, and don't need to be waiting for months before he realizes that he has a WIFE who has needs and that IF he won't fulfill those needs, someone else is happily waiting to do so, BUT....I don't want anyone else, I want him!


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> It's possible that he is using the video game nonsense as a way to avoid being with you and end up having sex for the same reason (pregnancy).
> 
> I cannot understand for the life of me any guy that would rather play a game than bang his wife out, so he may just be waiting you out and hope that you'll fall asleep.
> 
> The possible third child issue looks to be the root of your problem here.



Exhale.........I know it's weird, but he's ALWAYS been attached to that thing! I don't understand it either, when I read that other husbands are lacking in this department w/their wives, and here I am, a wife (and there are others just like me), being sexually starved, something's not right! It's mind-boggling to say the least! But, it is what it is, albeit, unfortunate. 

I also have thought about his "waiting me out", and he has on a number of occasions, ONLY, because I gave in and didn't wanna wait for him anymore, which leaves me feeling, MOODY, IRRITABLE, ANGRY, DEPRIVED, REJECTED, and any other negative adjective you can think of re this. I have talked w/him directly and indirectly about this, BUT it will change for a bit, then the SAME thing ALL over again! 
issed:


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## Interlocutor (Dec 29, 2011)

Videogames have never gotten in the way of me fvcking my wife... Skyrim has come close but still...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

SexyChic41 said:


> I cook, clean, cater to his every need...I take care of EVERYTHING! ...and I mean EVERYTHING!!


This is part of your problem. You kiss his ass without him having to do any heavy lifting in your marriage. It sends the message that you're okay with the way he is RIGHT NOW. If you want change YOU must change. He is fine with the way things are now.

Time to change that.


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## hope4family (Sep 5, 2012)

Try scheduling it as well. That way he can "work his games in" and you can work him.


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> This is part of your problem. You kiss his ass without him having to do any heavy lifting in your marriage. It sends the message that you're okay with the way he is RIGHT NOW. If you want change YOU must change. He is fine with the way things are now.
> 
> Time to change that.


 
Mavash.....that's an interesting spin that you threw out there, "*This is part of your problem. You kiss his ass without him having to do any heavy lifting in your marriage*". Unfortunately, I beg to differ, as I'm NOT the "ass kissing" type, and he does plenty "heavy lifting". 

My "cooking / cleaning" happen to be attributes that I come with; besides, who wants to come home from working ALL day to an unkempt home?? I don't know of any man who would want this all the time, (or woman for that matter)....and neither would I. 

In fact, he could careless if I cooked or cleaned, as he's quite capable of doing these things (very well I might add) if need be, and has. Although he and my children LOVE my cooking, what I consider (not clean), they see otherwise. LOL!!! Go figure 

Moreover, my "catering to his every need and taking care of EVERYTHING....and I MEAN EVERYTHING" are my bedroom antics!  ....specifically with my husband! 

When I submitted this post, I titled it, "Sex Drive.....OVERKILL!" as I recognize that I am a wife who has a significantly HIGH one! ...and MOST of the time, my husband's displaying one opposite. Thus, I offered characteristics that I possess as a wife, who simply wanted feedback on how to get my husband OUT OF HIS MANCAVE and INTO OUR MULTI-TALENTED, BEDROOM!


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

hope4family said:


> Try scheduling it as well. That way he can "work his games in" and you can work him.



Hahahaha!!! :smthumbup:

Good idea, and have tried this! However, the ONLY problem is that it seems forced. While I understand the concept, would you agree that spontaneity is key? Doesn't it make you feel MORE DESIRABLE?? ...but less, if you have to resort to "scheduling"?? 

Just curious.


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## lovetopleasewife (Oct 7, 2012)

I don't know how high of sex drive you have as you did not indicate (or I missed it) how often you need to have sex. Right now 2-3 times a month is not enough, even for those with rather low sex drive. I think the title should of been, "Husband Prefers Pushing PS3Buttons Instead of Mine."

You may need to interrupt him in the middle of play and show him what you need. I can't imagine a guy resisting that. I know I could not if my wife needed me right that instant.

It is unbelievable how people get toghether that have opposite drives. Many husbands would envy your husbands position and yet many wives on this forum many envy your position that your husband leaves you alone most of the time.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> This is part of your problem. You kiss his ass without him having to do any heavy lifting in your marriage. It sends the message that you're okay with the way he is RIGHT NOW. If you want change YOU must change. He is fine with the way things are now.
> 
> Time to change that.


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

lovetopleasewife said:


> I don't know how high of sex drive you have as you did not indicate (or I missed it) how often you need to have sex. Right now 2-3 times a month is not enough, even for those with rather low sex drive. I think the title should of been, "Husband Prefers Pushing PS3Buttons Instead of Mine."
> 
> You may need to interrupt him in the middle of play and show him what you need. I can't imagine a guy resisting that. I know I could not if my wife needed me right that instant.
> 
> It is unbelievable how people get toghether that have opposite drives. Many husbands would envy your husbands position and yet many wives on this forum many envy your position that your husband leaves you alone most of the time.



2-3 times a week would be a fabulous start! 

In fact, in response to your suggestion, I have "interrupted him in the middle of play and shown him what I need"; however, he'd welcome the distration for a minute, but quickly try to get me away from him as he's unable to concentrate on the PS3 

Side note: I used to use that on him...."I can't believe you'd rather play w/that PSP's knobs instead of mine" :rofl:


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

I"m not sure it's just you it's avoiding?

How often does he play video games? Does it replace family time all together, or is this just what he does when the kids go to bed and it's couple time? I mean... does he come home from work, eat dinner, and disappear to his man cave and play PS3 for hours every night? 

I'd have more of a problem with being ignored for hours so he can play video games than anything else. 

Do you go out on dates? Do you do stuff together as a family?


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

I like to wind down too. However I can not imagine being more interested in Vid games over my wife. It sounds like he has an addiction. The video games have replaced you as his main outlet for hormone release. 

"In addition to the psychological addiction, it's now believed that there may be a physiological element to addictive game playing. Researchers at Hammersmith Hospital in London conducted a study in 2005 which found that dopamine levels in players' brains doubled while they were playing. Dopamine is a mood-regulating hormone associated with feelings of pleasure. The findings of this study indicate that gaming could actually be chemically addictive."


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

SexyChic41 said:


> Now this I have completely considered, which is why I am NOT overbearing at all. I give him his space, and ONLY enter his mancave, when absolutely necessary! However, when I want / need attention, I definitely am assertive re this, but still enter at my own risk despite the ultimate REJECTION! UGH!!
> 
> I understand the demands / pressures that he has at work; thus, I do everything possible to ensure that when MY KING enters his castle, ALL is well, dinner is served at his convenience, as he ONLY eats when he is done "unwinding". BUT, WTF??? ....who unwinds for 4-5hrs everyday???
> 
> At times, I don't even initiate, but WAIT PATIENTLY for him to "chase" me. I am quite appealing, and don't need to be waiting for months before he realizes that he has a WIFE who has needs and that IF he won't fulfill those needs, someone else is happily waiting to do so, BUT....I don't want anyone else, I want him!


this will only be for so long then when your ripe with feelings of resentment and the desire to be desired and someone whos in the same boat happens by then all bets are off!

you need to get this squred away before too much time and hard feeling build.

eventually everything you think you like about him will be a turn off.

hes being a D bag wuth a capital D.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

SexyChic41 said:


> 2-3 times a week would be a fabulous start!
> 
> In fact, in response to your suggestion, I have "interrupted him in the middle of play and shown him what I need"; however, he'd welcome the distration for a minute, but quickly try to get me away from him as he's unable to concentrate on the PS3
> 
> Side note: I used to use that on him...."I can't believe you'd rather play w/that PSP's knobs instead of mine" :rofl:


your name is spot on! he's an a$$ :scratchhead:


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## Michael A. Brown (Oct 16, 2012)

I know that you are searching for your husband's attention not only for sex. It seems that he don't have enough time to be with you. Try to talk with him about this matter to avoid this problem get worst.


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

deejov said:


> I"m not sure it's just you it's avoiding?
> 
> How often does he play video games? Does it replace family time all together, or is this just what he does when the kids go to bed and it's couple time? I mean... does he come home from work, eat dinner, and disappear to his man cave and play PS3 for hours every night?
> 
> ...


deejov.....he plays it ALL THE TIME!  Sometimes, it does "replace 'family' time altogether". No, he comes home from work, kisses me, my middle-schooler, get home after he does, and goes into his mancave to talk to his dad about school or whatever. He will pause it for a few, but then when they're done talking, he's picks right up where he left off.  Then he eats dinner about 8:00p or 9:00p. 

YES!!! I do have a major problem w/being ignored for HOURS! I told him so, but he doesn't believe that he's ignoring me! WTF, right?? :scratchhead: 

...and yes, we do go out on dates, and have a FABULOUS time. Again....not often. AND, everytime, I suggest something, it's "corny" to him. I like "spoken word (poetry), I love comedy, I'm not much of a football fanatic, like he is, thus, you can imagine how much I'm IGNORED now since it's 'football' season; however, I will watch w/him and have learned quite a lot about it, actually! Hahahah!!! We do stuff as a family, but NOT often!


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## lovetopleasewife (Oct 7, 2012)

SexyChic41 said:


> 2-3 times a week would be a fabulous start!
> 
> In fact, in response to your suggestion, I have "interrupted him in the middle of play and shown him what I need"; however, he'd welcome the distration for a minute, but quickly try to get me away from him as he's unable to concentrate on the PS3
> 
> Side note: I used to use that on him...."I can't believe you'd rather play w/that PSP's knobs instead of mine" :rofl:


There is something I will never understand about that. Feel bad for you.


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

:thumbup:


CanadianGuy said:


> I like to wind down too. However I can not imagine being more interested in Vid games over my wife. It sounds like he has an addiction. The video games have replaced you as his main outlet for hormone release.
> 
> "In addition to the psychological addiction, it's now believed that there may be a physiological element to addictive game playing. Researchers at Hammersmith Hospital in London conducted a study in 2005 which found that dopamine levels in players' brains doubled while they were playing. Dopamine is a mood-regulating hormone associated with feelings of pleasure. The findings of this study indicate that gaming could actually be chemically addictive."


CanadianGuy....GASP!!! "Addiction"! NEVER even thought of this! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! :smthumbup: YES!!! ...."the video games have 'replaced me as his main outlet for hormone release"! GASP!!!!!  This isn't good. I am very familiar w/DOPAMINE! So, I must say that I believe my husband's "chemically addicted" as he, AFTER playing that damn game, is too....much too tired for ME! 

Thank you for your post!! :thumbup:


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

Michael A. Brown said:


> I know that you are searching for your husband's attention not only for sex. It seems that he don't have enough time to be with you. Try to talk with him about this matter to avoid this problem get worst.



You're right! I am. However, it's not that he "doesn't have enough time to be with me", *he won't create the time*. 

I have tried to talk to him about it on a number of occasions; however, how do you get through to someone who doesn't believe that he / she is doing anything wrong? It's quite disheartening because the pain I feel, due to the rejection, sometimes is unbearable. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! I have learned to live with it, and find alternate means of "pleasing me", but can I tell you, that it DOES NOT compare to the intimacy I have w/my husband when we do connect. 

....and if anyone tells you that it is a great substitute, (in my opinion) is LYING!


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> this will only be for so long then when your ripe with feelings of resentment and the desire to be desired and someone whos in the same boat happens by then all bets are off!
> 
> you need to get this squred away before too much time and hard feeling build.
> 
> ...



chillymorn.....can I tell you that I have fought with my feelings of resentment for quite sometime now?? I have even gone days with either NOT talking to him or "ignoring" him to see how he likes it. At times, it has worked; others, it has not.  I have even tried NOT sleeping in the same bed, but NOTHING! 

I can't even fathom the thought of "cheating" on him, though it would probably be justifiable. I WILL NEVER......and have had plenty of opportunities. It's just not in my heart to do so! It's just not.


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## HopelesslyJaded (Aug 14, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> Perhaps because of the age of your other children, he is done changing diapers and wants to enjoy your time together. That can be a reason why he isn't banging you as often as you like.





sinnister said:


> I think he's seriously avoiding trying to get you pregnant.


I agree with these two. But I will add that dang PS3 can be a sex killer! I wish I felt the way you do about my husband these days. I know he would reciprocate.


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## SexyChic41 (Oct 21, 2012)

michzz said:


> I'll chime in my agreement with others. Take having more children off the table and your husband will want more sex.
> 
> At 41, with two already, why the heck do you want another one so bad?
> 
> ...



Hahahaha!!! :rofl: Really??? Wow!!

Having another child is the least of our worries, sweetie! Therefore, if my wanting to have another child is a sex killer for him, then shame on him and you too for questioning what I want at 41! I am entitled to want and RECEIVE whatever I desire (with my husband) especially since you have no idea about the ramifications surrounding this “want” or our "retirement" for that matter. 

....but thanks for your response just the same! 

Good Day!


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