# Personality change after vasectomy



## Sherlock

Has anyone else noticed that there husbands behaviour changed after a vasectomy. My husband changed so much. I have been worried about his memory ( not just his selective memory!) he won't remember conversations with me at all even five minutes after. And other people have said this too me too. He also seemed to change from a kind caring man to someone who is always upset at things, looses patience with the kids and isnt affectionate toward me. In fact he just announced he doesn't love me on Friday (as I have explained in my other posts). He is definitely not having an affair. I know when he is lying nd asked him point blank is someone else involve. 

Even he says his desire changed after the vasectomy and I know it's not meant to but he is like a completely different person and the timing is uncanny. 

Just wondering... Maybe just grasping at straws!


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## alphaomega

No. Vasectomies don't do that. Other than wasting 100 dollars on super sized slurpees to stick between my legs, I didn't have any sort of change such as your husband.

I'm not sure what's up, but getting the "I don't love you" speech speaks volumes of an affair starting or in the works.

There is a lot of people claiming they know when thier mates are lying, and I've also read about how wrong they were.

It's human nature to trust. But you need to verify. I hope with all my heart for you that I am wrong.

I don't even like slurpees


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## hotdogs

I've heard of this before. I knew a guy online that had one and his sex drive went to zero.


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## alphaomega

hotdogs said:


> I've heard of this before. I knew a guy online that had one and his sex drive went to zero.


Biologically, this is impossible. But mentally, I guess it could happen.


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## hotdogs

well I'm not makin it up! He said he hated sex! Maybe he just hated me..

oh dude, lightbulb! ding!


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## kag123

You didn't mention his age or how long its been since surgery.

I invite you to read this, in case it might be helpful. It touches upon the fact that many people are affected by anesthesia for a long time after surgery, and it has been thought that in people prone to dementia that it accelerates the disease process.

Inhaled anesthetics may accelerate the onset of Alzheimer's Disease
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega

Kag,

Vasectomies are local anasthetic only. For reference, here's how mine went....

Doctor: Preps me for surgery. Forgets local anasthetic. 
Me: wondering why doctor leaves room for 15 minutes while I stare at the ceiling. 
Doctor: Comes back in room. makes incision. 
Me: Owwwwwwwww! What the fu(k!
Doctor: does that still hurt?
Me: You fu(king think?!!!!
Doctor: looks at surgery tray. Stares at full needle of anasthetic. Says "oh my! I'm really sorry. I need to give you the anasthetic". Grabs needle. Pokes the shat out of my nuts!
Me: thinking.....why the hell did I decide to do this?!!! This is a big mistake!
Doctor: Leaves room. Returns 15 mi utes later. Proceeds to snip my vas deferens. Leaves room
Me: Oh my god! My balls hurt!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kag123

Not all are done under local. My H was about to have one under general. It depends on a guys anatomy, and nerve level. We shopped around and every doc offered general or local, was the patients choice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega

kag123 said:


> Not all are done under local. My H was about to have one under general. It depends on a guys anatomy, and nerve level. We shopped around and every doc offered general or local, was the patients choice.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I wish I had general!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The Middleman

I had a vasectomy about 17 years ago. No problems. Sex drive is still higher than my wife's  and I remember almost everything


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## CanadianGuy

That's a strange one Sherlock. The symptoms you have described are not a noted side effect of a vasectomy.


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## Sherlock

I know they are not but they has been some studies done in the us and they found possible a link. He is almost 49 and has the vasectomy in march. Before then we had decided to have another child together and she is now 16 months old. I thought that was a decision we made together in a loving relationship. 
He had also had good sex drive before the surgery and had discomfort for a long time and has had no sex drive since. None. But his personality changed to. He was a calm, sensitive person and we would bicker but never have big arguments. After the surgery he is stressed, grumpy and was always picking fights even if there was nothing to fight about. Everyone is saying how his character has changed in the last 6 months. It's just weird timing but it was actually him who said everything changed after the procedure.


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## mel123

I have not had vasectomy I was afraid to . I have two older brothers who had one....After the surgeries one brother became mean and the other brother turned into a wimp, their personalities did change. This may not be scientific but it did happen.


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## Voiceofreason

Correlation does not imply causation. Correlation does not imply causation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## thunderstruck

I had one 5+ years ago. My drive is still high as hell, and no other changes. I only had local. I thought the needle to the sack was bad, and then I got to smell the inside of my guys getting cauterized. But...I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

My GP told me that some guys lose all drive b/c the thought that they can no longer reproduce messes with their head. I don't know if there is any data to back that up, or if he just pulled it out of his azz.


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## Sherlock

I do wonder that because he is getting older too and seems to be having some sort of crisis.


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## BustofPallas

My vasectomy changed me completely and destroyed my marriage. I have developed debilitating chronic pain. I am bitter about it. Anyone who says this can't happen is in denial. It's well documented a significant percentage of men end up with chronic scrotal pain/PVPS. You can send me a PM if you don't believe me. im happy to talk about it. It's 6:30 AM and I'm 8 1/2 years out laying in bed and the burning pain under my sack has started my day. I will drag my ass to work where sitting all day will hurt. I will spend much of the day wrestling with the pain and filled with stress and regret like I have for at least the last 8 years. The first three years post vas as the pain got worse and worse I did not link it to vasectomy. When my left testicle blew up like a balloon at year three I figured it out. I missed almost a year of work when sitting became unbearable and paid 8500 dollars for a reversal. The reversal took the pain from a daily 9 to a 1 but it has drifted back up to a 3-4 on the left. You bet your ass it has changed me. I was always the loving affectionate one. Now I'm bitter and withdrawn. My career is ruined because work hurts and I don't want to do it. We rarely have sex now and I struggle with anger because my wife started all this rolling by coming home and screaming at me about birth control one day. Said she did everything and was going to stop the pill and I'd have to use my hand or condoms or be cut off and what was I going to do about it? I even said then I was not sure about letting someone cut me down there and she screamed fine, she would get her tubes tied and had to do everything... she cut off any rational discussion with her tirade. I had just undergone a brutal job change and lost a parent that year and had been a bit needy and felt vulnerable that year so did it to please her. The operation was uneventful but within a year I could not sit without horrible discomfort and sleep became difficult. Night time erections would cause me intense burning pain and falling back asleep was almost impossible unless i took ibuprofen and sleeping pills. This was due to pain with involuntary sleep erections not mental stress. It was hellish. Ladies, if you love your husband's don't push them to get a vasectomy. Share the responsibility. Alternate if possible. It's not worth the risk of watching him die in front of you physically and mentally and losing a loving healthy marriage. Our lives are nightmares now.


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## chillymorn

yep not letting anyone come close to mr willy with a sharp implement.

lots of mistakes in hospitals. tired doctors,new drs have to do one the first time do you want to be the first time a dr does a procedure. 

risk does not outweigh the reward at least not for me.
lots of way to have sex with out getting pregnant. more oral, using your hands, anal, condoms, toys, be creative.


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## snerg

BustofPallas said:


> My vasectomy changed me completely and destroyed my marriage. I have developed debilitating chronic pain. I am bitter about it. Anyone who says this can't happen is in denial. It's well documented a significant percentage of men end up with chronic scrotal pain/PVPS. You can send me a PM if you don't believe me. im happy to talk about it. It's 6:30 AM and I'm 8 1/2 years out laying in bed and the burning pain under my sack has started my day. I will drag my ass to work where sitting all day will hurt. I will spend much of the day wrestling with the pain and filled with stress and regret like I have for at least the last 8 years. The first three years post vas as the pain got worse and worse I did not link it to vasectomy. When my left testicle blew up like a balloon at year three I figured it out. I missed almost a year of work when sitting became unbearable and paid 8500 dollars for a reversal. The reversal took the pain from a daily 9 to a 1 but it has drifted back up to a 3-4 on the left. You bet your ass it has changed me. I was always the loving affectionate one. Now I'm bitter and withdrawn. My career is ruined because work hurts and I don't want to do it. We rarely have sex now and I struggle with anger because my wife started all this rolling by coming home and screaming at me about birth control one day. Said she did everything and was going to stop the pill and I'd have to use my hand or condoms or be cut off and what was I going to do about it? I even said then I was not sure about letting someone cut me down there and she screamed fine, she would get her tubes tied and had to do everything... she cut off any rational discussion with her tirade. I had just undergone a brutal job change and lost a parent that year and had been a bit needy and felt vulnerable that year so did it to please her. The operation was uneventful but within a year I could not sit without horrible discomfort and sleep became difficult. Night time erections would cause me intense burning pain and falling back asleep was almost impossible unless i took ibuprofen and sleeping pills. This was due to pain with involuntary sleep erections not mental stress. It was hellish. Ladies, if you love your husband's don't push them to get a vasectomy. Share the responsibility. Alternate if possible. It's not worth the risk of watching him die in front of you physically and mentally and losing a loving healthy marriage. Our lives are nightmares now.


Dumb question, if you had pain, why not go back and get it corrected?

Your description actually sounds like you have torsion of some type going on or perhaps compression going on. For those of us where the boys swing low, you need to wear compression underwear to keep the boys from wondering out and then ending up under a leg when you sit down. Same thing can occur when night time erections happen. 

I know for some there are other issues, but mine were the boys swinging way lower due to being cut and then me sitting on one by accident or stepping and one would be in the wrong spot at the right time and get mushed.

Great site for anyone looking for info on vasectomy
Research into vasectomy


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## MachoMcCoy

hotdogs said:


> I've heard of this before. I knew a guy online that had one and his sex drive went to zero.


Once the "we don't want you to get pregnant" excuse went away, he had to think of something else.


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## TX-SC

My vasectomy was painful at the time but successful and with no side affects. It didn't change my personality at all.


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## Cooper

Is it possible he was prescribed some pain medicine and has since become addicted? Just a thought.


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## Marduk

I have a buddy that went through the bad painful stuff after getting snipped. It happens. Do your research, find a reputable Doctor, and do it in the hospital.

That being said, he went back and it's been corrected and the pain is gone.


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## RainbowBrite

This is terrifying. I always thought my husband was selfish for refusing to consider it, but now I'm glad he never did it - too much risk for me, even if the risk is small.


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## BustofPallas

I did go back to urologists. I've seen at least 15 urologists since this started. Probably closer to 20. Most of them were clueless and useless. Not one said to me that this is due to your vasectomy. LOL, You dont think I've been trying to fix this since it started? I dont have torsion. I dont have the Bell clapper deformity. I never had one problem with my balls or scrotum. until I got a vasectomy. I started wearing tighter briefs at about year three for support and to this day post reversal wear 2 pairs daily. One more snug bikini type brief for support and boxer briefs over that because I'm not a bikini brief kind of guy. It's a huge pain in the ass. The problem is once you have nerve damage and scar tissue in you spermatic cord your therapy options are limited. There is reversal, denervation, orchiectomy, and medication. Reversal helped me tremendously. I can at least sleep now. The point I'm trying to make is a bad vasectomy outcome can cause chronic unyreatable pain and it will change a guy and take a toll on a relationship. It can ruin your life. I don't think men or women should rush to get surgically sterilized if it's not necessary. My wife and I were not that fertile to begin with. I was 41 when I got my vasectomy. If I had used condoms for a few years or we had alternated between condoms and maybe an ID we just had a few years to go. Nothings worth the daily pain I have. I would get another operation in a heartbeat if I thought it would fix me. I have not found one guy though that has had a great outcome from denervation and in fact at least a few got worse or much worse and 2 have had a testicle removed. In other words, chronic pain in your scrotum from cutting and cautery is not easily fixed.


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## arbitrator

*My personality was just as warped pre-vasectomy as it is now!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## choohooo

This is an old post but still a relevant subject matter. I had a vasectomy almost two years ago with minimal pain. The procedure really wasn't a big deal and I was out in 30 minute. Things were life as usual until day 5 after the procedure when I woke up with a pulsing headache.

I have had a similar personality change that was mentioned by the OP. The best way to describe it is minimal patience with a side of depression. I snap at any little issue. Most days it's hard to keep it together.

I post this because I'm making progress towards figuring out the problem. If you do a quick google search, you will notice 4-5 similar postings outlining the same post vas symptoms. Many urologists laugh this off as the "psychological toll of sterility," but my neurology team is finding it's much deeper.

Within weeks of my vasectomy I started having subtle changes in my vision. A close friend, an optometrist, did an exam and found papilladema. Combined with the headache, a spinal tap was ordered. My intracranial pressure was nearly 30, the norm being around. 23 months later and my number still hovers around 26. In three weeks I will be at the Mayo Clinic undergoing further testing.

I agree strongly that correlation isn't causation. However, there are many consistencies across the board for post vasectomy patients, one of which is a strong psychological impact. I can only help but wonder if more men, like myself, develop an elevated intracranial pressure after this procedure. Ironically, CSF pressure has strong ties to frontotemporal dementia, another diagnosis with a weak link to vasectomy.


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## GuyInColorado

I'm getting a V this summer and these posts are giving me pause. Hmmm.


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## Emerging Buddhist

I had mine done in Long Beach Naval Hospital... the doctor and the corpsman who assisted were both Gulf War Vets and it was a very simple thing. As the local was about to be given the doctor said "You know where I have to stick this so you will feel a little pinch". I said "you mean a little prick"? He responded "We really don't like to use that term in this office" as we all cracked up until the shot, and then it wasn't so funny but it was only a moment of discomfort and a bad joke.

I think the worst part was smelling the cauterization... did I tell you about the joke?

I can't remember...



j/k... it was nothing, you'll be fine.


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## BlueandBlond

My husband had a vasectomy after our 3rd child and that was 13 years ago. Needless to say all sex has stopped. It has been almost 5 years since we had sex and before that it was 4 times with me being the instigator. I have been devastated by it as I am very willing and able and love sex. We have talked about it and gone to therapy and he still doesn't know why it is this way. He says he loves me and is still interested in me and other than that everything is great in our relationship! I know he had said at the time that he felt like he wasn't a man. No more bullets in the gun and I believe he felt that defined him. He says it doesn't work. If I had known this was going to be the result I would have gotten a hysterectomy. But, all 3 kids were born naturally so we didn't see why I should go through that long endearing pain when he can have it done and be good in a couple of days. He still masturbates though but not often. It is a mental thing for sure but now that he is in his early 50's it could also be age related at this point but I wouldn't know how to tell. We have been married 17 years and together 22 years. Even when I get hit on it doesn't help. I don't get it either.

Maybe some points I made may help. I know my husband had a real hard time talking about until we did see a therapist. Easier to talk about it now but still no result. I am in a "I don't know what to do" too. 

If you two could get some therapy and get him to open up and talk, it may help with time. Good luck! Let us know if anything helps or changes.


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## Vinnydee

I doubt that memory loss is due to his Vasectomy. I am sterile and it does not affect me in any way. Some men equate being manly with the ability to procreate. I have seen this in guys who have lots of kids with different women to feel like they are a man, even though they cannot support them. I had one guy work for me and he had 7 kids by seven women. In his social circle, impregnating girls, having powerful sperm, was a sign of manhood. You still see this happening among the poor class because for some it is the only achievement they can accomplish. 

There may be something going on with your husband being affected by knowing he cannot have impregnate anyone. A loss of manhood. However, the problem may have been brewing and the agreement to a Vasectomy be just be part of a larger problem. Have him talk to his doctor. I held a lot of stuff in and finally spoke to my doctor and I was suffering from depression. I thought depression was like you see on TV but it manifests itself in many ways can cause memory problems, anger, sadness, lack of drive, libido and more. Since being treated I am feeling so much better. The Vasectomy was probably the last nail in the coffin that was already being built. Convince him to speak to a professional. It changed my life.


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## Adiron

A properly done vasectomy will not affect memory.

That much being said, given the amount of medical incompetence out there, don't be surprised if they cut into the wrong head.

Now THAT can cause all sorts of neurological issues.


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## choohooo

BlueandBlond said:


> My husband had a vasectomy after our 3rd child and that was 13 years ago. Needless to say all sex has stopped. It has been almost 5 years since we had sex and before that it was 4 times with me being the instigator. I have been devastated by it as I am very willing and able and love sex. We have talked about it and gone to therapy and he still doesn't know why it is this way. He says he loves me and is still interested in me and other than that everything is great in our relationship! I know he had said at the time that he felt like he wasn't a man. No more bullets in the gun and I believe he felt that defined him. He says it doesn't work. If I had known this was going to be the result I would have gotten a hysterectomy. But, all 3 kids were born naturally so we didn't see why I should go through that long endearing pain when he can have it done and be good in a couple of days. He still masturbates though but not often. It is a mental thing for sure but now that he is in his early 50's it could also be age related at this point but I wouldn't know how to tell. We have been married 17 years and together 22 years. Even when I get hit on it doesn't help. I don't get it either.
> 
> Maybe some points I made may help. I know my husband had a real hard time talking about until we did see a therapist. Easier to talk about it now but still no result. I am in a "I don't know what to do" too.
> 
> If you two could get some therapy and get him to open up and talk, it may help with time. Good luck! Let us know if anything helps or changes.


Seems straight forward to me. Have him get his testosterone checked. Research shows that "most" guys don't experience a change in hormones from vasectomy but there's some that do. Pre vas my testosterone was 900. I was checked 4 months after the procedure and it was 327. Quite the drop. I'd go to a men's health clinic that specializes in testosterone replacement. Most docs would see my numbers and conclude I'm " normal" because my numbers are within range, even though I saw a drop of 65%. Free testosterone numbers are even more important that total testosterone. I'm 33 and experienced the same drop in libido. Testosterone helped immensely. Now I just need to figure out my headaches. Good luck


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## DTO

Yup. I have heard both men and women complain that a sterile guy is less manly (= less sexy).

OP: whose idea was it to have a V? Is he having physical complications that may be impacting his mood?



alphaomega said:


> Biologically, this is impossible. But mentally, I guess it could happen.


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## Juice

Lol!

Sorry OP but sounds like your husband doesn't like you. 
I've had one and I clearly remember the repetitive conversations with my wife. My sex drive is also out of this world. 

Plus I know several friends and family members that went through the same procedure with no serious side effects. 

Good luck and hopefully you can find love again 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk


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## She'sStillGotIt

Ummm...you folks DO know this is a *zombie thread* that started back in 2012, don't you?


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## BustofPallas

If you end up with debilitating chronic pain after vasectomy it will change your life and your personality. I should know because it happened to me. I was the sensitive, caring physically affectionate one in my relationship. I had an immediate level of discomfort after my surgery but never thought about. I didn't link it to vasectomy because like all the propagandists here and folks lucky enough to have good outcomes I believed it was 100% benign. Within a year I was spontaneously inventing cutout cushions to sit on at work and had to get a prescription for Ambien because when I would get nocturnal erections I would wake with so much pain I could not fall back asleep. At 2 1/2 years the back side of my right testicle blew up to about 10 times it's normal size and I was told if there was no blood flow they would have had to "take" my testicle. That was when I first realized that my pain problems sitting, sleeping and the epididymitis was due to the vasectomy. Fast forward to year 4 and I ended up unable to work. I had tried kneeling chairs, standing desks, acupuncture, gabapentin, countless rounds of anti-biotics and anti-inflammatories etc.. nothing worked. By year 5 I could not take long car trips, or see movies, or sit through my kids plays. I was essentially disabled. I was afraid to go to sleep because I knew the pain was coming. We finally paid 9500 to get a reversal. The reversal took care of the worst of the pain and the nightly pain. I can work now but am in pain much of the time. It's liveable but it still sucks. What do you think it will do to your career if the longer you sit the worse your pain will be? I have borderline low T now and almost no sex drive or desire to be affectionate or intimate with my wife. These people on here saying it's biologically impossible for vasectomy to cause personality change/low sex drive don't know what they are talking about. During my ordeal I shared my story with a well respected management consultant at my work. I was explaining to him why I was out of work for a period of time. He looked at me and confided that he had a vasectomy and lost all desire for sex afterwards and no longer has sex with his wife and slept in a different bedroom now. He didn't have pain problems like me. Just an immediate loss of libido. Anyone that flat out denies correlation (immediate chronic groin/testicular pain and lost libido) and causality (letting a guy cut on your nerve laden scrotum and removing sections with a cautery pen) in the case of vasectomized is not doing men any favors. It happens. Just because it didn't happen to you and just because the percentage is low 1 to 10% doesn't mean it's not real. You don't get "tough guy" points for being one of the lucky ones.


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## Slartibartfast

..


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## Lorie

My husband has turned mean since his in September. He even brings up that I had his balls cut off (even though it was his idea) He is fighting with everyone, almost acts like he has to fight now to prove he is manly. I don't know what to do. It's really hurting our relationship and the relationship we had with our family members and friends.


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## WilliamM

Hello Lorie

This thread started in 2012, and was dead, then resurrected sometime last year.

It’s a zombie.

You can get some very good answers here. But it will be best if you start your very own thread so it’s all about you, and fresh and new.

Good luck!


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