# Wife sick for 2 weeks, wont go to doctor



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i have suggested, demanded, requested, and vitrually begged her to go. i think she might have a severe sinus infection or maybe even pneumonia, but she is too stubborn to go. i have thought about duct taping her hands together and one across the mouth and dragging her but thats not going to happen. i hate it that she thinks it ok to lay on her butt sick for two weeks while i do everything. its not that i dont support her when she is sick but this is ridiculous. now im out of town and my daughter texted me that she is wiped out on the couch again while my 3 kids are basically parentless. frustrating


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

I had a similar situation with my wife back in the fall.

I finally told her that her behvior was unacceptable and that if she did not get a doctors appointment immediately we had a very serious problem and I was just flat not going to put up with it.

She went, and was put on anti-biotics. Turns out she was pretty sick. Go figure.

And .... Idunno. 

This was one of lifes mysteries but one of those Captain and the First Mate things. I rarely invoke it but clearly I did.

It is really irresponsible especially if you have children. Well you could always call 911 and tell them your daughter called and your wife is passed out on the couch.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

her stubborness is becoming and issue, not just with this incident.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Make an appointment for her and drive her there yourself.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

LOL, make an appointment for her around lunch time. Then tell her you have a surprise planned for her, and drive her to the doctors. To not seem like a jerk though I'd bring a little something she likes to snack on and take her out for real after.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

That sounds like me. Either she will get well or she won't. What's the reason she gives you? Perhaps her mother or other close relative could help persuade her.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

is she a Muppet fan?

tell her this is how Jim Henson died


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i have a problem thinking for grown adults. i have a hard time helping people that simply will not help themselves.

to simply make an appointment and drive her there kind of leaves out an important detail, getting her in the car


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

I'm not expert, but my wife is, and tells me the rare horror stories where these sinus infections, untreated, can get into some really dangerous areas and be fatal. Rare, but she has seen it - I'm medically illiterate, so I just understand well enough to go to the doctor if it doesn't go away in a few days.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

827Aug said:


> That sounds like me. Either she will get well or she won't. What's the reason she gives you? Perhaps her mother or other close relative could help persuade her.


Excellent idea. Think on who is the most influential person with your wife and ask for their help.



A stitch in time really does save nine wrt health. My wife never would get her coil checked … resulted in a hysterectomy because her womb became infected. Used to drive me mad trying to get her to go to the docs for the internal. And looking back probably all I needed to do was ask her dad for help in getting her to go.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> i have a problem thinking for grown adults. i have a hard time helping people that simply will not help themselves.
> 
> to simply make an appointment and drive her there kind of leaves out an important detail, getting her in the car


Sometimes adults behave just like children and perhaps should be treated as such.


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

I did what your wife is doing. I put off going to a doctor for a sinus infection, which turned into an ear infection and now I have permanent hearing problems. I hate myself for doing that. I have to live with it for the rest of my stupid life. I wish my husband had forced me to go.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

could he have forced you to go? how do you force a 48 yo person to do anything?

trust me when i tell you im not a meek person, i am alpha in most ways, she grew up in an alpha led household. maybe thats why she is stubborn


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> could he have forced you to go? how do you force a 48 yo person to do anything?
> 
> trust me when i tell you im not a meek person, i am alpha in most ways, she grew up in an alpha led household. maybe thats why she is stubborn


That would be like laying down the gauntlet to me, asking how I could make my wife go to the doctor, that is ....

When my wife had a suspicious lump, I developed a well-rehearsed statement, and told her that she would hear it, word for word, every single time I looked at her until she made the appointment. It became comical, and she got really frustrated, so she made the appointment. They caught it before it became cancerous. I always remind her that I'm not alpha enough to MAKE her do anythng, but I can quickly become the biggest pain in the a$$ she has ever seen, if necessary, to make her see a doctor.


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> could he have forced you to go? how do you force a 48 yo person to do anything?
> 
> trust me when i tell you im not a meek person, i am alpha in most ways, she grew up in an alpha led household. maybe thats why she is stubborn


Of course he could have forced me. He could have put me in the car and driven me to the hospital. Which, of course, is exactly what he did - but by the time he did, I had irreversible damage.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I rarely get sick but when I do I feel so horrible I cannot imagine it going on for 2 weeks and not wanting to see a Dr. ... sounds as if she is afraid to go for whatever reason? Do you think she would go to a Walgreens clinic or somewhere like that?


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Okey:
Do you think that your wife has clinical depression? Depressed people think they can climb out by themselves, but that rarely happens. It only gets worse with time. 

If this is true, you have to make appointments for her. She does not think that she needs help. It may appear to be stubborness, but it is really an inability to assess their mental situation. I apologize if I am off base with this. You know your wife, and this may have nothing to do with her condition.


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## Gratitude (Feb 12, 2012)

Find a doctor that will do a home visit


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

lovesherman said:


> Okey:
> Do you think that your wife has clinical depression? Depressed people think they can climb out by themselves, but that rarely happens. It only gets worse with time.
> 
> If this is true, you have to make appointments for her. She does not think that she needs help. It may appear to be stubborness, but it is really an inability to assess their mental situation. I apologize if I am off base with this. You know your wife, and this may have nothing to do with her condition.


very interesting, i will assess further


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Don't play around with this.

A few months ago, I started feeling just a little ill on a Friday.

By the following Tuesday morning (less than four days) I had already developed substantial pneumonia. It took a full month to feel completely well, and I hardly ever get sick.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I would ask her point blank why she values her life so little. Stinks!


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> i have suggested, demanded, requested, and vitrually begged her to go. i think she might have a severe sinus infection or maybe even pneumonia, but she is too stubborn to go. i have thought about duct taping her hands together and one across the mouth and dragging her but thats not going to happen. i hate it that she thinks it ok to lay on her butt sick for two weeks while i do everything. its not that i dont support her when she is sick but this is ridiculous. now im out of town and my daughter texted me that she is wiped out on the couch again while my 3 kids are basically parentless. frustrating


Wow, okey. Sorry you are having to go through all this ... is she any better?

Are you still out of town? Will you be back soon? If so, you should tell her that you're taking her to the doctor whether she likes it or not because it's irresponsible of her to jeopardize not only her own health, but also the health and safety of your kids, especially when you're out of town like that.

You know I thought lovesherman's question about depression is a really good one. I think you've mentioned that she has hoarding/OCD tendencies... oh my, maybe you'll have to think about staging an intervention if things continue to deteriorate.

Best wishes.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> i have suggested, demanded, requested, and vitrually begged her to go. i think she might have a severe sinus infection or maybe even pneumonia, but she is too stubborn to go. i have thought about duct taping her hands together and one across the mouth and dragging her but thats not going to happen. i hate it that she thinks it ok to lay on her butt sick for two weeks while i do everything. its not that i dont support her when she is sick but this is ridiculous. now im out of town and my daughter texted me that she is wiped out on the couch again while my 3 kids are basically parentless. frustrating


Some people play some really weird, dysfunctional games, have a read of http://www.amazon.co.uk/Games-Peopl...0270/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334417169&sr=8-1.

Your wife may well be playing the “Antagonise and anger Okeydokie” or the “You made me do it” or even the “Look at me I’m a victim” game, even to her own detriment.

Perhaps look to see what she gets out of her behaviour. Is it sympathy and attention that she wants? Does she really want you angry? The latter is certainly working so maybe it’s that. If it is, thing is why on earth does she want you angry?


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## MominMayberry (Mar 27, 2012)

Some people have a true fear of medical things. They think that it will go away on its own. They fear bad news and worry that its worse. Could this be it?
Does she have fever?


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Your wife is just like me, I refuse to see doctor. Don't know why. Usually she'll bug me so much that I see a doctor just to get her off my back. Weird.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

she is better today. she is just a stubborn mule head. oh well, i guess i can admit i enjoyed the silence for two weeks


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

Halien said:


> I'm not expert, but my wife is, and tells me the rare horror stories where these sinus infections, untreated, can get into some really dangerous areas and be fatal. Rare, but she has seen it - I'm medically illiterate, so I just understand well enough to go to the doctor if it doesn't go away in a few days.


My dad lost his voice for about a month. Usually a person's voice comes back within a weak, so he went to see a doctor. It turns out he has a rare type of lung cancer and he has about 1 year to live.


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