# Will this harm our son?



## mega1 (Sep 20, 2013)

Hi there..

I have been here before and I have entered counseling and continue to deal with a problematic relationship. I have received excellent advice here. 

I have encountered some really bad drama...and I know I'm attracting it into our lives.

1) We lived in a house that had mold -- my husband continued to complain about the issue, got a test done, and the landlord was not willing to remedy it while we lived there. He ended up despising us so much that he told us to move and he would return out security deposit. We could have legally forced him to fix it, but because the mold was in our son's room - we didn't have the ability to wait. So, we did it. We moved and got our security deposit. Husband then filed suit against the landlord for retaliation. 

2) the house we moved into was newly renovated - looked perfect. Only it had no hot water and sewage problems. The landlord was shady and ended up not fixing it as our basement flooded. I called the city to complain and she eventually started fixing it. The landlord relocated us until the repairs were complete. The city shut the house down because of sewage problems, so we found a new place to live. We had to move AGAIN. Husband filed suit against her... She is also a parent in our son's 8 year old class. The woman approached our son at school and asked him inside info ...about our relocation plans. 

I was angry and called the principal. She said she would take care of it. But, my husband so was mad, he called her independently and then called the school police to file a report. 
He continues to rack up legal bills with our attorney -- and we will never see any money back. This lady has hired a shark of an attorney. 

So, now we are in the crazy legal battle with 2 landlords and my husband wants to call a reporter friend of mine to get a story in the media. unfortunately, I am a very public person in the community and I refuse to be named. I filed for bankruptcy (long story) alone...and now I am afraid that will get out in the news. 

I am stuck. This drama is bad. Husband just told me he ran into the landlord and her son in CVS this afternoon (along with OUR son) and he said he stared her down. He is teaching our son bad, bad things. He's told our son all about the lawsuit and how horrible this woman is. I told him to stop and he said it was reality and our son needs to know it.

He just called to tell he found out that the Landlord's company is sponsoring a school fundraiser and he wanted to call the school and the organizers to ask them for an explanation as to why they would knowingly accept money from a company that has a police report filed against them. 

I told him I didn't think that was a good idea. He may do it anyway. He's becoming more of a loose cannon. 

What would you do if you were me?


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Buy a house in a different school district. If you have enough money for the attorney, you should have enough to get a house. Lease to own if the bankruptcy is still at play.

BTW, that is a matter of public record so it could come out regardless. 

BUT back to your original question. Did you feel by moving you to another location that WAS safe and everything in working order, your issue was properly addressed? Did they offer a free months' rent to compensate you for moving expenses? 

You probably have to prove they KNEW about the problems before you moved in to get any real settlement in court so I agree that you are not likely to recoup your legal expenses, especially if they can prove they made an effort to make it right and your husband filed just because he didn't think it was ENOUGH.

It was absolutely wrong and awful that she pulled your child aside to grill him about your plans. VERY in appropriate! And since you are likely to see her often if you have kids in the same school/grade I am very serious about just dropping the suit (with prejudice so you can refile if necessary) and moving. Start over. Your son probably feels awful that he was open about your living situation but then again, why should he be quizzed and why should he need to lie? Live life so you can live in a glass house without worry.


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## mega1 (Sep 20, 2013)

My husband just won't back down...

and he doesn't want to move out of the school district. I went ahead and applied for a private school down the road.....I can't take the drama.

AND -- the woman is not threatening more. My attorney called last night and said the woman and her attorney are bullies...and are threatening to go to media with false claims that I CAUSED her sewage problems.... there is NO WAY!

So, now I am worried on so many levels...and the school is still angry with my husband for calling the police. 

I just don't know what to do. Some of my friends think I should leave my husband, as well.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Your marriage is a separate issue, although his traits may bleed over/be displayed in various areas of your life.

Sit him down. Tell him you feel you need to choose your battles wisely and this one may very well have more repercussions than you are prepared to deal with. If he is visual list pros and cons. IF he is a hotheaded man intent on proving he is right then you have to decide if you are willing to be a party to the suit. YOU don't have to be a plaintiff. He can all on his own. Tell him you refuse to be a part of it and call the attorney and have him drop you from the suit. If that doesn't make your husband give it up, it could start WWIII at your house but you have to be ready for it. Seems like the whole mess is lose-lose and settling for just one "loss" may be the best you can expect. Sometimes sh*t happens - it's part of life. Everyone gets hit with some unforeseen unpleasantry.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Not to compound the problem, but you guys are in the process of screwing your housing situation royally. Around here, at least, many landlords of "decent" places will require references as well as credit checks. 

You guys need a lot of help. I'm not saying that to be cruel, but I think you need to find some professional guidance from someone who has the whole picture of your situation. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

mega1 said:


> My husband just won't back down...


"Husband, I don't agree with your reasoning and I won't raise our son in that environment. Either you stop and figure out why you are so hell-bent on punishing people, or we'll be separated."


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I can't tell you how many things my H has messed up like that because he just HAS to be right and prove that he's right. I SO wish I'd have moved DD23 away from him.


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