# Pressure from men



## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

I need the ladies feedback. My gal says I'm too demanding and put on too much pressure. Like if I go to hug or kiss she says that I do it too much and she feels smothered. I've been trying to advise her on her horrible work situation. She says I'm telling her what to do. Sex, she used to initiate all the time, now she doesn't so that of course is me pushing, and no I don't try every day. I had to tell her again that it hurts when she goes silent or doesn't say she loves me back in a text. She'll say that's demanding my way. 

Help! Where's the line here. What's normal and what's abnormal. 
Does your man pressure you? 
Thankx in advance.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

It's simple. The line is where your gal draws it.


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## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

Sent you a message.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So how long ago did this "change" take place? Women usually like affection, hugs, I love you's, kisses, etc.--- if they're in love with their guy. You need to ask yourself why she's not wanting all that. You're not pressuring her, she's just not wanting what she should be.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Read The 5 Love Languages. 

Some women NEED mushy, emotional boosts in order to FEEL like having sex. Which means you could "woo" her. 

Well really....you SHOULD woo her anyway. According to the Love Languages, you might need to rethink what SHE needs and loves. Sometimes we try to impress our SO with the things that impress us, and it doesn't necessarily do it for them. You might think extra chores, or rubbing her feet are sweet things for you to do....when she really wants a love poem, or quality time. You have to figure out what gets HER going.

I think women who shoo away hugs and kisses are nuts. I think sexlessness is nuts. 

MAYBE you can fix this. 

What about counseling, date night, wooing her, etc.... Not just to get sex (that IS the bonus), but to make her FEEL loved and wanted. But you have to find out what works for HER. Good luck!


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## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

Well tonight I took over dinner and we hung out and watch TV. I rub her feet while we watch TV just hung out with 
Well tonight I took over dinner and we hung out and watch TV. I rub her feet while we watch TV just hung out with no high-pressure talks. Then I gave her a nice body rub without trying to have sex and kissed her good night none left.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

So she got free dinner delivered and a massage. You got ... No sex. 

Don't you kinda have a little bit of a feeling she is using you ? 

I have been used so I can recognize the signs, or at least I am finally starting to recognize them.

I thought the police were called during the last breakup when you moved out?


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I think that the less someone wants to be in a relationship with their partner, the less they want to be touched by their partner. From your other threads I'm surprised you are still together but not at all surprised she's less than enthusiastic about the relationship.


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## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

My current boyfriend makes me feel like I am being smothered sometimes. A friend has pointed out he is obsessed with me. I like my space too and when it becomes to smothering I tend to distance myself. What I'm trying to say is that affection is important but it doesn't have to be for the full duration you are together. For example, a Saturday afternoon watching a DVD...you don't have to kiss her the entire time or hold her or touch her even if this is what makes you happy. Even in relationships there are boundaries. Listen to her and give her some space.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

When was the last time you had sex with her?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

jdesey said:


> I need the ladies feedback. My gal says I'm too demanding and put on too much pressure. Like if I go to hug or kiss she says that I do it too much and she feels smothered. I've been trying to advise her on her horrible work situation. She says I'm telling her what to do. Sex, she used to initiate all the time, now she doesn't so that of course is me pushing, and no I don't try every day. I had to tell her again that it hurts when she goes silent or doesn't say she loves me back in a text. She'll say that's demanding my way.
> 
> Help! Where's the line here. What's normal and what's abnormal.
> Does your man pressure you?
> Thankx in advance.


Could be you & her are just not "Love language" compatible.. some of us love the touchy feely / lots of affection types (and we want to give it too).. and others feel smothered, "physical touch" may be on the bottom of their lists...

I personally think it's best to be with another who appreciates the way we are wired, I don't think love languages change all that much from our youth to the grave...

Just makes loving a lot more "fulfilling"....

I noticed another of your threads ... something about Gambling...she lost trust in you...those are some big issues.. this threw a monkey wrench into your intimacy... If she wasn't like this BEFORE.. then it's all related to the resentment that she now feels.. and she's backing away from you.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

The OP is a desperate man who just can't seem to understand that this woman needs space. Look thru the various forums at the number of threads he has started. He is simply shopping for validation of what he already thinks and is not really looking for advice. Rather than provide him with advice on the various specific issues he posts about, what he needs is advice on what HE needs to do - which is to focus on himself. 
OP - you can't force someone to forgive you, you can't force someone to forget, you can't undo what you have done. No amount of snivelling, crying, begging or pleading will accomplish any of that. You need to look inside at who you are and understand why you did what you did. Simply saying you have changed doesn't make it so. Go out, focus on yourself and truly change (if in fact that is what you want). Become the best version of you that you can be. If she is impressed she will come back. If she doesn't, so what? You will be a better man and a better match will be along in short order.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

My wife likes "space" too. We used to say "I love you" every time we left each other or on the phone. Now I only say it when told FIRST by her or after sex. That's it.

You MUST stop wanting to hear it from her. You cannot be needy in this respect. It's a real turn off to a woman like my wife and probably yours too.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

jdesey said:


> I need the ladies feedback. My gal says I'm too demanding and put on too much pressure. Like if I go to hug or kiss she says that I do it too much and she feels smothered. I've been trying to advise her on her horrible work situation. She says I'm telling her what to do. Sex, she used to initiate all the time, now she doesn't so that of course is me pushing, and no I don't try every day. *I had to tell her again that it hurts when she goes silent or doesn't say she loves me back in a text. * She'll say that's demanding my way.
> 
> Help! Where's the line here. What's normal and what's abnormal.
> Does your man pressure you?
> Thankx in advance.


How often do you _Dump out your purse_ and want her to make it all better for you?

Stop that. 

You go in for a kiss and she declines....her loss. slap that a$$ and move on

Did she ask you for a solution on her work issue? Specifically ask? if she's just ranting. Shut up and just listen. 

For the love of all that is holy...you sound like a puppy dog. Stop that.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

jdesey said:


> I need the ladies feedback. My gal says I'm too demanding and put on too much pressure. Like if I go to hug or kiss she says that I do it too much and she feels smothered. I've been trying to advise her on her horrible work situation. She says I'm telling her what to do. Sex, she used to initiate all the time, now she doesn't so that of course is me pushing, and no I don't try every day. I had to tell her again that it hurts when she goes silent or doesn't say she loves me back in a text. She'll say that's demanding my way.
> 
> Help! Where's the line here. What's normal and what's abnormal.
> Does your man pressure you?
> Thankx in advance.


MOVE ON!

You are wasting her time and destroying your life. Work on yourself and if you are a worthwhile man you can start again, whether that be with her or someone else.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Geez, you STILL haven't put this relationship out of its misery?? Are you that big a glutton for punishment?? Sheesh.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

Many years ago my wife started acting the same way towards me. I would try to hold her hand, she would tell me I was too clingy. I would try to hug her, she would pat me on the back. When I would kiss her, I would get a less than passionate response. She would reluctantly have duty sex with me but not very often. She would always have an excuse lined up like headache, tired, stomach ache, period, ovulating, urinary tract infection...just to name a few.

During this time she claimed that there was nothing wrong and that she loved me so I tried giving her more space thinking that would help her. As it turned out, she was cheating on me the entire time. All the while, she was reassuring me that she loved me and she was happy.

Now she's my XWW. The end.

I'm not saying your wife is cheating but my advice for you is to man up and draw the line. She is not acting normal and certainly not communicating. Life is too short to put up with that kind of $hit. She's either all in...or all out.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Another thread on this? Buddy, you need to realize that she just isn't into you. You can grow a pair of balls and end the relationship on your terms or let it die a slow lingering death.


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