# Narcissistic Mother-In-law



## Ree

*My husband and I have been married going on 11yr.s..We both have adult kids from a previous marriage,him 5 me 4..They all range from normal,succesful kids to drug addicts,alcoholics and bi-polars and have cause to many problems and drama's to count..However all of them put together can't cause the chaos,drama and arguements that MIL has and can..I've always known she doesn't like me,can't stand me actually and blames me for hubby not being on good terms with some of his kids and for the most part really don't care..Well back in Oct of 2011 we found out that hubby's sister and youngest daughter had stolen a very large some of money from her and had been neglecting her health..Like a bunch of idiots we moved her down here with us..She refused to file charges on them and my husband spent weeks of sleepless nights trying to fix the mess and she fought him at every turn..We took care of her health issues as well..Within the first week she started trying to take control of my house and found out quickly it wasn't going to happen so she then progressed to mistreating my dog and they had a few run ins..Not good when it's 130lb Akita..Anyway I kept trying to tell hubby she was doing it intentionally to get at me,,he of course didn't want to believe it and blamed it on her old age..My oldest step-son moved here and him and the MIL moved into a house a few blocks away..The MIL wanted my hubby at her beckon call and any time he said no to her it quickly became my fault..They got into many arguements because of her constant remarks about me and it got to the point where she was no longer welcome here and I refused to go to her house.The final straw came about 2 1/2 weeks ago..My step-son bought baseball tickets for the 3 of us and our grandson (my daughters son) well mysteriously hubbys younger son and nephew decided to visit on that day..Well the MIL not only made the suggestion that my grandson and I don't go so the other 2 boys can but that for Father's Day MY kids who adore hubby should stay at our house with me and hubby should go to the MIL's house with his kids!!.That was the war they wouldn't win..Hubby has completely cut off the MIL and his kids for good..He told them all that since their jealousy and his moms narcissism has caused them to stoop low enough that it effects a 9yr.old innocent little boy he wanted nothing to do with them and that he warnded them that if they forced him to choose his wife or his family his wife would win hands down!..The good news is she's out of our life and we have our peace back..The bad news is hubby is really hurt and depressed at the realization that not only was I right about his mom but that she's nothing but a malicious witch in disquise and is not truly who he thought she was all his life.*


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## MrsOldNews

Reality can be a very sad thing. I know everyone suggest counseling here for everything  but I bet your husband would do good with a few counseling visits to sort out his feelings about his mother. And be a stronger man for it


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## Ree

*I totally agree and after having discussed at length we're in the process of trying to find a therapist for him that has experience dealing with victims of narcissistic parents..He's not only obviously very hurt and depressed and feeling betrayed but he's feeling guilty for not listening to me sooner and the abuse that she's inflicted not only on me but now my kids and our grandson..I've tried to explain to him that it's not his fault and that since she's always lived away from us and their contact until recently was just by phone it made it easier for her to hide her true self..Once she moved here though it was really quite evident..I'm extremely angry at the pain she's inflicted and me and my kids and grandkids but even more so at what she's done to my husband who's always been there for her and done more then she ever deserved from him!!*


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## Bobby5000

I can go along with your putting his mother in her place, and you make a reasonable case she is a difficult person. You wrote, 
"Hubby has completely cut off the MIL and his kids for good..He told them all that since their jealousy and his moms narcissism has caused them to stoop low enough." 

But his kids. His own children?? I hope I have this wrong and misread. I hope you didn't make him choose you over your own children and are happy with that, and that somehow he did the right thing. If that was the case, he should have got his cajones back, taken the dog leash off his neck, and stood up to you. I don't have a big problem with the baseball issue; I know my wife finds the sport boring and having a group of boys see the game together makes sense to me. 

You get some credit allowing the mom in your house and you were right to kick her out. Now, you should be cordial and respectful.
I feel bad for your husband, he seems to be getting his __ kicked by women on a daily basis.


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## *LittleDeer*

Cut the kids off? That's not cool at all.
The kids should allways be welcome as long as they are being respectful. If not you simply tell them to come back when they are going to be, and allways love them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ree

*LittleDeer* said:


> Cut the kids off? That's not cool at all.
> The kids should allways be welcome as long as they are being respectful. If not you simply tell them to come back when they are going to be, and allways love them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*I probably should've included that his kids are alcoholics,drug addicts and one in prison for the 3rd time and while they've made it a routine to make our lives hell I'm always the one pushing my husband to forgive them..However since they all side up with his mom because she enables them at every turn with her bank account and then would cry to us because she's broke he feels it's better for his mental health to cut them off for good to..I've always been very good to my step-children just as hubby is to mine..We've never played that yours and mine game and have always treated them all as our own..I've had many of them cry on my shoulder because of their mother and things she's done to them so this isn't a situation where I made him choose me or his kids neither of us would ever do that to each other..I've tolerated a lot of disrespect from his kids especially when we refuse to enable them,their addictions and the mess they've willingly made of their lives and so has my husband and he chooses not to tolerate it any longer..As for the MIL I didn't throw her out and would never do that to my husband..My husbands oldest son got out of prison,came here and him and the MIL are renting a house a few blocks over..So I hope that's cleared things up as far as his kids and I'm sorry I didn't clarify that better in the beginning..As for the MIL situation this is a choice my husband has made.. I would've supported him either way..With her not being allowed here and me refusing to go there I don't have to have contact with her but for my husband everytime he would go over there even to help her with something some snide comment about me would be made and she would find some way to blame me for something and then she started targeting my kids and grandkids and the was the end of the line for him!*


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## Ree

Bobby5000 said:


> I can go along with your putting his mother in her place, and you make a reasonable case she is a difficult person. You wrote,
> "Hubby has completely cut off the MIL and his kids for good..He told them all that since their jealousy and his moms narcissism has caused them to stoop low enough."
> 
> But his kids. His own children?? I hope I have this wrong and misread. I hope you didn't make him choose you over your own children and are happy with that, and that somehow he did the right thing. If that was the case, he should have got his cajones back, taken the dog leash off his neck, and stood up to you. I don't have a big problem with the baseball issue; I know my wife finds the sport boring and having a group of boys see the game together makes sense to me.
> 
> You get some credit allowing the mom in your house and you were right to kick her out. Now, you should be cordial and respectful.
> I feel bad for your husband, he seems to be getting his __ kicked by women on a daily basis.


*The baseball game wasn't an issue about anyone liking it..My step-son bought the tickets for us and my 9yr.old grandson for his birthday and this had been planned for 3 months..then my MIL tells my husband that myself and my grandson who's birthday present this was should stay home so that his visiting other son and his nephew could go instead..When he wouldn't agree to that she twisted the story around to make my husband look like the bad guy,my step-son then decided he wasn't going to go and in the end my grandson was the one he didn't get to go,was disappointed and left us to fix a mess they caused because of nothing more then jealousy plain and simple!..So yes,the baseball game was an issues and was what ultimately led to this situation.. *


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