# Personalities that catch the eye



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

So in a recent thread of mine there was some discussion of certain traits in people that cause an attraction. I thought a new thread may be a good idea to discuss this further.


One of these traits mentioned was attention seeking behavior. What does that all entail?


Another was being an extrovert.

Does having these traits automatically give a person a higher chance of attracting someone?


*Please note, this thread is just a general overview. It is not about anyone in specific.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

eye contact and smiling go a long way.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Yes.

There are absolutely traits that contribute to attraction. 

I should know, I'm attractive.

Humor being one of them ...

Being a wallflower or the aloof, silent type may be charming and mysterious to some, but it doesn't pull attention like putting yourself out there.

Attention seeking behavior may mean the way you dress, speak, or conduct yourself. A woman with a low cut, clingy dress may be seen as attention seeking. A guy who is the life of the party, or who has an attendant audience hanging on every word may be seen as attention seeking.

If it gets you noticed by the people you want to be noticed by, then I'm all for it.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I always thought someone who was overly "out there" was a put off. Kinda like they thought too highly of themselves.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I know that I'm a mid-level extrovert. My XW was a total uninhibited extrovert. That attracted me totally!*


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I think I like some mystery in a guy. Someone who just let's it all hang out doesn't appeal to me.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Do you think there is a difference in what attracts women compared to men?

confidence seems to be across the board no doubt. But what traits exude confident? Is there a difference to each sex?


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

Are you asking about people who just seem to attract other people, who other people like being around and are drawn to? 

Or are you asking about people who are seeking to be noticed?


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Good question. I was referring to people who just seem to attract other people.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

The people that I notice that seem to attract others around them are the ones that smile a lot. They have that magnetism that pulls you in because they feel welcoming.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Is smiling a more physical attraction though? Or is that a characteristic of someone who is confident?


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

I think it is a characteristic of someone who is happy, friendly and who desires to make the people around them feel comfortable and important.

The physical attraction is a byproduct.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Yah, I agree. I like a smile. It does draw you in. But I have also seen people with creepy smiles. Not sure how to explain that. But it was something that made me stay away.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> Yah, I agree. I like a smile. It does draw you in. But I have also seen people with creepy smiles. Not sure how to explain that. But it was something that made me stay away.


:rofl:


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I take it you know what I'm talking about then


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

For men - confidence. When I had little confidence around women in my teens, I didn't attract much. When I observed some playa coworkers for a while and faked confidence, I started getting attention. 

When I actually felt confident...yeah.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I remember in school being told to act confident to avoid being bullied. 

Some of the things I did back then I still do now.

Walk tall (I used to hunch over with my books covering me like a shield, then I started walking with good posture and held my books to the side)

Look Up (I used to walk around looking at the ground to avoid eye contact)

Speak Up (I used to be very quite when I spoke)

Smile

Participate 

I think I do look for these traits in others as a sign of confidence. And for the record, this really did work for me. It wasn't too long after I started doing these things that I started to have more people talking to me.


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> I think I like some mystery in a guy. Someone who just let's it all hang out doesn't appeal to me.


Are we talking about guys sending pics of their junk again?:scratchhead:


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## Devotee (Sep 22, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> I always thought someone who was overly "out there" was a put off. Kinda like they thought too highly of themselves.


I agree. The overly social, overly confident person seems fake to me. 

I have always found the quiet, contemplative more attractive, the one who does not seek the attention. But I know I am in the minority.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

thunderstruck said:


> Are we talking about guys sending pics of their junk again?:scratchhead:


That wouldn't be mysterious! That would be revealing it all!


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

I find it attractive when a woman I just met gives me shyte. Not being mean or bishy, but playful teasing. It shows me she's confident and comfortable in her own skin.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Devotee said:


> I agree. The overly social, overly confident person seems fake to me.
> 
> I have always found the quiet, contemplative more attractive, the one who does not seek the attention. But I know I am in the minority.


I agree. It almost appears to me that these overly social people are actually more insecure than others. That their behavior is a front for some deep seeded issues.


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

People who radiate energy are attractive to me. That doesn't mean they have to be outgoing all the time. It's more something you sense. You can just tell when someone is approachable, open, positive, etc.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Devotee said:


> I agree. The overly social, overly confident person seems fake to me.
> 
> I have always found the quiet, contemplative more attractive, the one who does not seek the attention. But I know I am in the minority.


There is a world of difference between being confident and being an attention wh0re.

Charming is attractive, balls and bluster isn't ... to most. 

I can tell you that like attracts like. In my line of work, you CANNOT be demure. You need to walk into the room and convey expertise, professionalism, and be able to effectively communicate your expertise to others so that they feel comfortable and confident that you are the person to help them solve their problem.

If you stutter, appear uncertain, don't look them in the eye when answering questions, THEY don't feel comfortable.

I think the same can be said socially. What I have found is that people that generally aren't extroverted simply aren't comfortable around, or observing someone who is, and that can translate into the belief, "that person is a fake, or is just acting, or can't be trusted." And when it comes down to it, the only way you can know that for sure is to take a risk and engage that person.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

ebp123 said:


> People who radiate energy are attractive to me. That doesn't mean they have to be outgoing all the time. It's more something you sense. You can just tell when someone is approachable, open, positive, etc.


That is very interesting. I agree. There is an energy people give off. I have sensed really negative energy before, as well as very positive. Sometimes very creepy energy too.

I remember I used to go for a walk every lunch hour with my dog. We would always walk by this one house that gave me the creeps. One day a man was standing outside the house and started talking to me. He had one of those creepy smiles that instantly made my hair stand on end. My dog started growling at him and was very aggressive. I had never seen her do that to anyone before. It was as if she also sensed this person was bad news.

I changed my walking route after that.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> So in a recent thread of mine there was some discussion of certain traits in people that cause an attraction. I thought a new thread may be a good idea to discuss this further.
> 
> 
> One of these traits mentioned was attention seeking behavior. What does that all entail?
> ...


I'm not an extrovert but I've been told people gravitate toward me by many different people. I can't tell you why bc I don't know. I'd rather have them stay away most times but apparently I'm magnetic in person.DH says it's bc I give off a soothing vibe. Others have said it's because I seem like someone who will listen and pay attention. Who knows.  LOL

Attention seeking behavior in my mind comes off as fake and obnoxious. They think they're funny but they aren't.They're annoying,often offensive,and very self absorbed.Extroverts seem to care about others while Attention Seekers seem to fake caring about others as a way of getting their own need for attention met.

Being an extrovert comes off as warm,bright,and energetic.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> I think I like some mystery in a guy. Someone who just let's it all hang out doesn't appeal to me.


You can be mysterious and extroverted. Its simply a matter of perceiving there to be greater depth to a person beneath the extroverted superficiality.

Its something I've been told when dating a woman who ordinarily prefers more reserved guys. The whole "It's funny, you're not even my type... but it just seemed like there was a lot more to you..." line.

More commonly, I think people are drawn to people who are playful, positive and life affirming - traits more visible in an extrovert. Smiles, openness and affability. The mysterious types may be comfortable, or even deep/interesting, but I sense a good deal of brooding tendency there. I call them "Socrates dissatisfied", stealing a metaphor from JS Mill.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Deejo said:


> There is a world of difference between being confident and being an attention wh0re.
> 
> Charming is attractive, balls and bluster isn't ... to most.
> 
> ...


There's a certain amount of truth there, but I dont know...some guys just over-do it. There's a guy i work with that is like that. Grab your hand for a handshake and windbag in your face, "HEY BUD!! HOW'S IT GOING MAN!! HOW'S THE KIDS BRO???" Yeah, he's probably confident, but he's also kind of a tool.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Fozzy said:


> There's a certain amount of truth there, but I dont know...some guys just over-do it. There's a guy i work with that is like that. Grab your hand for a handshake and windbag in your face, "HEY BUD!! HOW'S IT GOING MAN!! HOW'S THE KIDS BRO???" Yeah, he's probably confident, but he's also kind of a tool.


Yeah ... we all work in one form or another with 'that guy' too. Although I also know a gentleman who is like that, and he is 100% genuine. He's exuberant. People will ask for some of whatever he's on.

I've indicated previously that my shining example that I was projecting something different than I had in years past was when a co-worker was leaving and we were having a party for him. We smiled, talked and shook hands and he just looked at me and said, "What happened to you? You are like a different guy than when I first met you."

I didn't decide to fake anything. I just decided to be more of who I already was. And it paid off both professionally and socially. I have had a number of friends make comments about how I conduct myself, that I simply never, ever, heard prior to a few years ago.

I'm never consciously trying to draw attention to myself. I am however very conscious of how I behave and interface with people in a manner that I never used to have, or even was aware of.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Deejo said:


> Yeah ... we all work in one form or another with 'that guy' too. Although I also know a gentleman who is like that, and he is 100% genuine. He's exuberant. People will ask for some of whatever he's on.
> 
> I've indicated previously that my shining example that I was projecting something different than I had in years past was when a co-worker was leaving and we were having a party for him. We smiled, talked and shook hands and he just looked at me and said, "What happened to you? You are like a different guy than when I first met you."
> 
> ...


I think this works out for some people this way, but not everyone. I've seen Carribean Man make a good point about this, that sometimes just being yourself isn't a great idea if the real you isn't all that great to begin with.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

ebp123 said:


> *People who radiate energy are attractive to me. That doesn't mean they have to be outgoing all the time. It's more something you sense. You can just tell when someone is approachable, open, positive, etc*.


I really LIKE this comment :smthumbup:...

I appreciate people who are just ....simply....Genuine -for genuine's sake...not out to impress, not out to manipulate...but be who they are...humble, funny, whatever they are....approachable friendly types are surely a plus...

It doesn't matter whether someone is Extroverted to me, or more Introverted, each personality has it's Pluses and minuses...I am somewhere caught in the middle of these, depending...so I can appreciate them both...

Some Extroverts can be a little pushy, loud, talk too much, even if your eye lids are drooping before them...it can be downright annoying...but then some introverts are so darn quiet, you forget they are even there...which isn't helping their cause....but when you get 2 opposites -one can play on the other and bring new life into him or her...

What attracts me personally....those who can carry on an meaningful bantering conversation..some laughter, a little debate....the "deep conversationalist type" that can hang with some differences...yet shows interest / enthusiasm for something....we all have our gifts in life...share them..and learn from others along the way....that's always a breath of fresh air to me..

Many interesting characters out there in this world....they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and personalities... some really surprise us ! ...and end up leaving lasting imprints on us..


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Fozzy said:


> I think this works out for some people this way, but not everyone. I've seen Carribean Man make a good point about this, that sometimes just being yourself isn't a great idea if the real you isn't all that great to begin with.


Yup. I have said the same. "Be who you are, unless being who you are prevents you from getting what you want. In that case, change."


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I think my personality is an odd mixture, not balance of more extrovert that introvert.

I only smile with people I know, but I have absolutely no problem approaching a total stranger of either sex and talking to them as if i knew them for years.
I love public speaking.
I like meeting people , I like friendly banter and debate , but sometimes I am reclusive.

Being an extrovert gave me lots of friends and opened many doors.
And yes, women have always gravitated to me.Sometimes the wrong kind of women too , lol, and it was hard to tell them no.

But being an extrovert also has it's dark , downside.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

JustPuzzled said:


> *I guess the point of this is what other posters have been saying. What draws some people repels others.*


Yes, exactly!


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

JustPuzzled said:


> Looking back I can recognize that she showed many signs of borderline personality disorder.


I'm drawn to borderlines like a mofo. They're like Dvls magnets. I'm guessing that means we wouldn't get along JustPuzzled. 

I'm completely suckered by all that charisma. If there was a woman like them out there that doesn't eventually want to set my car on fire... it would be like having lightning in a bottle.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I'm drawn to borderlines like a mofo. They're like Dvls magnets. I'm guessing that means we wouldn't get along JustPuzzled.
> 
> I'm completely suckered by all that charisma. If there was a woman like them out there that doesn't eventually want to set my car on fire... it would be like having lightning in a bottle.




When i was single , sometimes I was drawn to women like that, but mostly for casual stuff.
Back then we called them " Drama Queens ", but I loved their extraordinary,excitable nature, although it came with a price!
I wasn't aware that it was an illness, I just took it as part of who they were.
The only thing was, that I always tried not to get too emotionally tangled with them, because we both knew we'd be bad for each other and we'd always fight.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Huh, sounds like these people who have an ability to draw others in are not drawing in mates interested in anything more than a romp in the hay.


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

Well, speaking for those of us who represent the creepy population...............


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

I don't talk the talk but I walk the walk, enough said.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> Huh, sounds like these people who have an ability to draw others in are not drawing in mates interested in anything more than a romp in the hay.


I agree.

For example, I have used the tricks contained in certain books, just to see if they work.

They do work, which is a sad thing indeed.

However the people they work on, are not the people I am really interested in - i.e. genuine people.

Superficial tricks seem to work on superficial people.

I gave up the experiments, because there's no point messing around with people who you don't see a future with.

Smart but not 'educated'
Energetic but not 'ambitious'
Clever with words, but not a liar.
A church-person, but not a believer.

Basically, a kind of farm-girl from a good family.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I'm drawn to borderlines like a mofo. They're like Dvls magnets. I'm guessing that means we wouldn't get along JustPuzzled.
> 
> I'm completely suckered by all that charisma. If there was a woman like them out there that doesn't eventually want to set my car on fire... it would be like having lightning in a bottle.


Borderline here...can't say I ever set fire to a car
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Thunder7 said:


> Well, speaking for those of us who represent the creepy population...............


Please do tell.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Cool calm collected yet confident and assertive in the midst of a heavy crowd wins everytime


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> Please do tell.


And give away all my creepy secrets?


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Somebody make me a chair. I want one.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Personalities..... and feel. It's the presence felt around someone - the feeling they naturally exude; subtleties of body language is part of this, and we may not even be aware that we're picking up on it. I'm drawn to people that feel grounded. Smiles, warmth, a certain level of openness and inclusion are part of this.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

tracyishere said:


>


That has to be my mother.I just know it.


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## sdyjdstyqing (Dec 20, 2013)

Another was being an extrovert.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> Somebody make me a chair. I want one.


Is that your picture? lmao 

thought so.

bahahahahahahahahahahah :rofl: :lol: :rofl: 

My throne is bigger and better than that AND it is Green


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

What? It is?!!

Well, I'm going to have to do some renovations then.


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)




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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

heartsbeating said:


> Personalities..... and feel. It's the presence felt around someone - the feeling they naturally exude; subtleties of body language is part of this, and we may not even be aware that we're picking up on it. I'm drawn to people that feel grounded. Smiles, warmth, a certain level of openness and inclusion are part of this.


I like how you mention body language as as a sign of personality. That is interesting.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> Huh, sounds like these people who have an ability to draw others in are not drawing in mates interested in anything more than a romp in the hay.


Not me. I straight up fall for them. Think every characteristic you might possibly like about someone, then amplify it 100 times. That's what the first few months of dating these women is like.

Then the honeymoon period ends. Now they hate you but don't want you to leave - so they set fire to your car.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

LOL...I don't think I have ever hated somebody. At least not enough to go to prison for


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> LOL...I don't think I have ever hated somebody. At least not enough to go to prison for


:iagree:

Same here!
I might dislike a person, disengage , ignore , show indifference, but never hated or ever take advantage of a person.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Life's too short to harbor negative feelings.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Borderline here...can't say I ever set fire to a car


I'm exaggerating a little - nobody ever torched my car (I worried about it though!). One I dated had actually rammed a previous bf's car with her car because he cheated on her and was breaking up. My turn was getting locked out of my fb and email accounts after she watched me enter a password over my shoulder; slapped me for having a female friend; cheated on.

That girl was a beautiful and awesome mess. A force of nature. For some reason, borderlines totally activate my desire to protect and fix. Every one I've been with had been through very difficult, even traumatic experiences. I get drawn in by the charisma and hooked by empathy. I get a white knight complex like crazy with them. Completely unhealthy for me, but moth... flame.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I'm exaggerating a little - nobody ever torched my car (I worried about it though!). One I dated had actually rammed a previous bf's car with her car because he cheated on her and was breaking up. My turn was getting locked out of my fb and email accounts after she watched me enter a password over my shoulder; slapped me for having a female friend; cheated on.
> 
> That girl was a beautiful and awesome mess. A force of nature. For some reason, borderlines totally activate my desire to protect and fix. Every one I've been with had been through very difficult, even traumatic experiences. I get drawn in by the charisma and hooked by empathy. I get a white knight complex like crazy with them. Completely unhealthy for me, but moth... flame.


Funny, that's exactly why I think I married my H. I wanted to help him. Unfortunately he cannot be helped.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> LOL...I don't think I have ever hated somebody. At least not enough to go to prison for


Some of that charisma is built on a disconnect between what you do and what the consequences may be. Borderlines tend to be BIG risk takers and their emotions are all amplified. Its not uncommon for them to have destructive outlets that help them deal with emotional intensitiy. Cutting is a popular one. Promiscuity another.

Im my experience with borderlines, there's little in the way of moderation. Everything is black and white. They love you or they hate you. Today you're the greatest person in the world, then you do some relatively trivial wrong, and you're the worst person in the world. They desperately want closeness, but once you're close they tend to push you away. Its a constant push pull. There's even a book about borderline personality disorder titled, "I hate you, don't leave me."


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Never ending drama. Sounds familiar


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I think I'd rather do without the drama. It's far too exhausting trying to figure out wtf is going on.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

My brother dated a girl who literally stalked him. She would invite herself over at 2am crawl into bed with him and for religious reasons could not have sex. He was terribly confused by her behavior. He broke up with her and for about a month afterwards she was still doing this. He eventually had to change the locks on his house.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

JustPuzzled said:


> That is one of the things that I love most about my wife - no drama.
> 
> Also, when she says something there is no need to read between the lines to figure out what she "really means".


-------> jealous I am <---------:smthumbup:


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

The drama is the negative half. The positive half is just as attractive as the negative half is unattractive... maybe even more so. You start to recognize the patterns though. You start questioning everything - what's genuine, what is a well played "act". And you keep hoping to get back to the core girl that you were really drawn to. The girl behind all the positive and negative crazy. Weirdly, the closer you get, the harder it is to get that girl to show herself again.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

No thank you. Too much work. I'd rather have the real deal without umpteen masks and layers to get through.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Well, to be fair to myself, you don't really know about the negatives until you've been sucked in by all the positives. They really seem awesome.

There are quite a few borderlines on this forum even. You'd never know if they didn't mention it. But yeah, they're totally magnetic to me for some reason.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Weirdly, the closer you get, the harder it is to get that girl to show herself again.


Well of course LOL the girl can't ACTUALLY let you see her once you get close enough to be able to hurt her.

The drama part of the BPD seems to go away with age and proper therapy at least in my personal journey.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

JustPuzzled said:


> Hey! Yoda! Pop up in the funniest places you do.


:scratchhead:

huh?


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> My brother dated a girl who literally stalked him. She would invite herself over at 2am crawl into bed with him and for religious reasons could not have sex. He was terribly confused by her behavior. He broke up with her and for about a month afterwards she was still doing this. He eventually had to change the locks on his house.


What a complete psycho. I've heard of cake-eating, but this is selling cakes and then forbidding the customer to eat them.

What happened to the good old days where some women were slappers, and some were saints...

Joking, those days were an illusion


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

*Re: Re: Personalities that catch the eye*



Caribbean Man said:


> I think my personality is an odd mixture, not balance of more extrovert that introvert.
> 
> I only smile with people I know, but I have absolutely no problem approaching a total stranger of either sex and talking to them as if i knew them for years.
> I love public speaking.
> ...


I'm exactly like this...

well, except for the women part!


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I adjust my personality to the situation I'm in. Does that mean I'm multiple personality? :rofl:


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> I adjust my personality to the situation I'm in. Does that mean I'm multiple personality? :rofl:


everyone does that to a degree I think


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

*Re: Re: Personalities that catch the eye*



DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Well, to be fair to myself, you don't really know about the negatives until you've been sucked in by all the positives. They really seem awesome.
> 
> There are quite a few borderlines on this forum even. You'd never know if they didn't mention it. But yeah, they're totally magnetic to me for some reason.


this was my high school senior year girlfriend....


wow....


then


WOW.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

:lol: :rofl:


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Actually I took a personality assessment where 5 or 6 people who know me had to complete a questionnaire and rate me based on what characteristics they felt I had. This was something our employer did for us.

I was only 1 of 2 people in our agency of over 100 people that fell into the "balanced" category. A category where you are able to fluctuate between one style or another depending on the circumstances. It is not all that commen. 

It was called the Opposite Strengths. 

Here is what my report was based on my assessment and 6 others.

OPPOSITE STRENGTHS®
ANALYSIS OF STRENGTHS


SUMMARY SECTION 

Think	Risk	Pract	Theor	Depnt	Indpt
Self Average	59	61	57	63	62	58
Others Average	61	59	57	63	64	56
Average of Self and Others	59	61	57	63	63	57

Eight Combinations of Lead Strengths	Pattern Number
Thinking	Practical	Dependent	I
Thinking	Practical	Independent	II
Thinking	Theoretical	Dependent	III
Thinking	Theoretical	Independent	IV
Risking	Practical	Dependent	V
Risking	Theoretical	Dependent	VI
Risking	Practical	Independent	VII
Risking	Theoretical	Independent	VIII

Your Natural Pattern of Strengths: VI	Your Three Flex-patterns: III, V, and VIII

Hi Tracy,

I have attached your Opposite Strengths
inventory/assessment. Although you lead with a Pattern VI
strength (Risking, Theoretical, Dependent, you appear to
have a nice balance across all three pairings and can likely
be fairly chameleon-like given the situations you find
yourself or the people you are with.

Cheers,
Brad 


FOCUSED LEADERSHIP GROUP
780.983.4965
Focused Leadership Group


It was very interesting


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> :scratchhead:
> 
> huh?


Was the Stars Wars reference lost on you?


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> Actually I took a personality assessment where 5 or 6 people who know me had to complete a questionnaire and rate me based on what characteristics they felt I had. This was something our employer did for us.
> 
> *I was only 1 of 2 people in our agency of over 100 people that fell into the "balanced" category.* A category where you are able to fluctuate between one style or another depending on the circumstances. It is not all that commen.
> 
> ...


A bit like that episode of the Simpsons where the psychiatrists in the looney-bin replaced the stamp on his hand ('Insane') with 'Not insane'.

You just got your 'not insane' stamp :smthumbup:

The only way is up!


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Yes. It was. I got it now with a little help though


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Sandfly said:


> A bit like that episode of the Simpsons where the psychiatrists in the looney-bin replaced the stamp on his hand ('Insane') with 'Not insane'.
> 
> You just got your 'not insane' stamp :smthumbup:
> 
> The only way is up!


If it is that rare though...maybe I am abnormal :scratchhead:


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)




----------



## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

I'm glad I got married young, according to this thread I wouldn't have a chance in the dating scene.

:rofl:

I'm a wallflower, quiet in crowds, quite boring, and not very friendly.  My good looks are the only thing I have going for me. 

My husband is the opposite. He is great at making friends, and people love him right away. 

I can't say I'm pleased with my personality, but honestly I can't change it, and trust me I've tried.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

TheCuriousWife said:


> I'm glad I got married young, according to this thread I wouldn't have a chance in the dating scene.
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> ...


I think you read this wrong. I got the impression that the outgoing bubbly type can put off some men. You may be attracting a different type of man than those others.


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> If it is that rare though...maybe I am abnormal :scratchhead:


I'm not in a position to judge, for, as jack-pirate just said

I know I'm crazy, crazy people don't know they're crazy ... etc

I'll just carry on watching storage hunters and trying not to kill people, and that way I hope to keep my distance from the nut house.

Are you insane? There's a simple test. Slap your left cheek, a little bit hard with your right hand, and tell me what happens.


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> I think you read this wrong. I got the impression that the outgoing bubbly type can put off some men. You may be attracting a different type of man than those others.


Unless I'm looking for fun, and not love, extroverts put me off big time, so just carry on being you, because I'm sure your husband took your shyness into consideration, and found it a 'plus' and not a minus.


----------



## Fordsvt (Dec 24, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> Cool calm collected yet confident and assertive in the midst of a heavy crowd wins everytime


This is really how I try to act in a crowd with a smile always. It works too.

Dislikes:
-pushy and assertive
-trying to be the centre of attention
-loud and opinionated
Just to name a few................


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Sandfly said:


> I'm not in a position to judge, for, as jack-pirate just said
> 
> I know I'm crazy, crazy people don't know they're crazy ... etc
> 
> ...


that hurt


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> that hurt


It shouldn't have hurt. Did you complete the test according to the instructions? Try again.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Well of course LOL the girl can't ACTUALLY let you see her once you get close enough to be able to hurt her.
> 
> The drama part of the BPD seems to go away with age and proper therapy at least in my personal journey.


I agree... and maybe its bizarre, but I really wanted to be a part of that process. Unfortunately, sometimes she did and sometimes she didn't. 

Even something like "I think I'm going to detox, I'm tired of my meds, I don't want to take them anymore" was a regular struggle. In some ways, I became the enemy, just in trying to help her stay on the path. She'd change motivations from moment to moment.

It was a bit like dating 3 different people at once, only you don't know which one you're talking to at any given moment. I guess I like a challenge. lol


----------



## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

I met my man when I was a 16, and way before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Somehow I convinced him it would be a good idea to drive 500 miles to a relatives house with $7 worth of penny rolls. We had to steal gas in a not so nice section of NJ. 

He had never had any fun in his whole life, and I gave him plenty. I eventually crashed and burned, and thankfully, he liked my baseline, normal personality as well.

He is the strong, silent type. Even now he sometimes communicates by grunts. Amazingly, I understand him. Together we make quite a crazy couple, but we wouldn't have it any other way.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

scatty said:


> I met my man when I was a 16, and way before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Somehow I convinced him it would be a good idea to drive 500 miles to a relatives house with $7 worth of penny rolls. We had to steal gas in a not so nice section of NJ.
> 
> He had never had any fun in his whole life, and I gave him plenty. I eventually crashed and burned, and thankfully, he liked my baseline, normal personality as well.
> 
> He is the strong, silent type. Even now he sometimes communicates by grunts. Amazingly, I understand him. Together we make quite a crazy couple, but we wouldn't have it any other way.


Awe I love that:smthumbup:


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Sandfly said:


> It shouldn't have hurt. Did you complete the test according to the instructions? Try again.


It still hurt


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

Tracey, you're lovely. But I'm afraid you didn't pass the test this time.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

What was supposed to happen, is you do it the first time and it hurt.

The second time, you refuse to do it, coz - it'll hurt.

The good news is, even though you're a wee bit loopy, it makes you a more interesting person, and is therefore an asset.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

No, it makes me a liar. Because I would never purposely hit myself (that's just crazy)!


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> No, it makes me a liar. Because I would never purposely hit myself (that's just crazy)!


Ha ha! I guess you passed after all. 

But lying? I am disappointed. I bet you're not even called tracey. I'm talking to Big Jim again, aren't I?

It's like I told you Big Jim:

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice - you can't get fooled again"

President Bush -- Fool me Once - YouTube


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

tracyishere said:


> That is very interesting. I agree. There is an energy people give off. I have sensed really negative energy before, as well as very positive. Sometimes very creepy energy too.
> 
> I remember I used to go for a walk every lunch hour with my dog. We would always walk by this one house that gave me the creeps. One day a man was standing outside the house and started talking to me. He had one of those creepy smiles that instantly made my hair stand on end. My dog started growling at him and was very aggressive. I had never seen her do that to anyone before. It was as if she also sensed this person was bad news.
> 
> I changed my walking route after that.


Always believe your dog. They KNOW. A dog's tail never lies.


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

tracyishere said:


> Yah, I agree. I like a smile. It does draw you in. But I have also seen people with creepy smiles. Not sure how to explain that. But it was something that made me stay away.


People have fake smiles and real smiles. In a real smile, they show teeth, and there are crows feet at the eyes. In a fake smile, there are no crows feet. Only the mouth moves.


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

tracyishere said:


> Funny, that's exactly why I think I married my H. I wanted to help him. Unfortunately he cannot be helped.


Man, BTDT! Like looking in a mirror, reading that post.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Sandfly said:


> Ha ha! I guess you passed after all.
> 
> But lying? I am disappointed. I bet you're not even called tracey. I'm talking to Big Jim again, aren't I?
> 
> ...


You are right. I am not called Tracey. I am called Tracy.


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> You are right. I am not called Tracey. I am called Tracy.


 Not Jim then.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Sandfly said:


> Not Jim then.


You can call me whatever you want. Doesn't mean I'll listen.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

TheCuriousWife said:


> I'm glad I got married young, according to this thread I wouldn't have a chance in the dating scene.
> 
> :rofl:
> 
> ...


Opposites often attract...You sound something like my husband & I am more the social butterfly between us.....he's content just hanging in the background...and throwing some dry humored bomb now & then....I've just about peed my pants at times...He likes to make fun of me in front of our friends & I don't really mind...it's all in good fun. 



DvlsAdvc8 said:


> That girl was a beautiful and awesome mess. A force of nature. For some reason, borderlines totally activate my desire to protect and fix. Every one I've been with had been through very difficult, even traumatic experiences. I get drawn in by the charisma and hooked by empathy.* I get a white knight complex like crazy with them. *Completely unhealthy for me, but moth... flame.


 ...did I just read this right...YOU ...a step into the White Knight complex...who would have thunk it !


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Some of that charisma is built on a disconnect between what you do and what the consequences may be. Borderlines tend to be BIG risk takers and their emotions are all amplified. Its not uncommon for them to have destructive outlets that help them deal with emotional intensitiy. Cutting is a popular one. Promiscuity another.
> 
> Im my experience with borderlines, there's little in the way of moderation. Everything is black and white. They love you or they hate you. Today you're the greatest person in the world, then you do some relatively trivial wrong, and you're the worst person in the world. They desperately want closeness, but once you're close they tend to push you away. Its a constant push pull. There's even a book about borderline personality disorder titled, "I hate you, don't leave me."


Why does this sound like a Pink song?


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

uhaul4mybaggage said:


> Why does this sound like a Pink song?


Sure does *>>*  Please Don't Leave Me- Pink YouTube








.... I love Pink!


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

tracyishere said:


>


Um, that's me.


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

tracyishere said:


> that hurt


I know, right? ow.


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

Sandfly said:


> It shouldn't have hurt. Did you complete the test according to the instructions? Try again.


F-u, Sandfly. You a a$$hole. 
;-D Jk, but seriously. You a a$$.

Thanks for making me smile. Quite a feat tonight.


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I agree... and maybe its bizarre, but I really wanted to be a part of that process. Unfortunately, sometimes she did and sometimes she didn't.
> 
> Even something like "I think I'm going to detox, I'm tired of my meds, I don't want to take them anymore" was a regular struggle. In some ways, I became the enemy, just in trying to help her stay on the path. She'd change motivations from moment to moment.
> 
> It was a bit like dating 3 different people at once, only you don't know which one you're talking to at any given moment. I guess I like a challenge. lol


Or more likely, you're a glutton for punishment
"she's just like a maze
where all of the walls all
continually change.."
John Mayer, Daughters


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

scatty said:


> I met my man when I was a 16, and way before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Somehow I convinced him it would be a good idea to drive 500 miles to a relatives house with $7 worth of penny rolls. We had to steal gas in a not so nice section of NJ.
> 
> He had never had any fun in his whole life, and I gave him plenty. I eventually crashed and burned, and thankfully, he liked my baseline, normal personality as well.
> 
> He is the strong, silent type. Even now he sometimes communicates by grunts. Amazingly, I understand him. Together we make quite a crazy couple, but we wouldn't have it any other way.


Thank kind of sounds like heaven.


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

Sandfly said:


> Tracey, you're lovely. But I'm afraid you didn't pass the test this time.
> 
> The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.
> 
> ...


Dammit. I hate it when people are logical and I have to accept that I am not. Sux.


----------



## uhaul4mybaggage (Jul 20, 2010)

Sandfly said:


> Ha ha! I guess you passed after all.
> 
> But lying? I am disappointed. I bet you're not even called tracey. I'm talking to Big Jim again, aren't I?
> 
> ...


OMG. W. What a buffoon. Jesus.
He's as bad at making the US look good as I am at love. GD.


----------



## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> You can call me whatever you want. Doesn't mean I'll listen.


You can call me anything you want. Just don't call me late for dinner.


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

uhaul4mybaggage said:


> OMG. W. What a buffoon. Jesus.
> He's as bad at making the US look good as I am at love. GD.


 Unlucky? Guys are easy. Here are the signs you could look for

Bob Marley - is this love official video HD - YouTube

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I - I'm willing and able,
So I throw my cards on your table!
I wanna love you - I wanna love and treat - love and treat you right;
I wanna love you every day and every night:
We'll be together, yeah! - with a roof right over our heads;
We'll share the shelter, yeah, oh now! - of my single bed;
We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread.

No thought for the future, impulsive, basically means they're infatuated. Like the song?


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

For gender balance, 

here's the girl's version: 

The Flying Lizards - Money - YouTube


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Thunder7 said:


> You can call me anything you want. Just don't call me late for dinner.


I just won't call u for dinner.


----------



## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> I just won't call u for dinner.


That could be either a really positive (bow chica bowow) or negative (aw, no dinner either) kinda thing. Not sure which way you were going.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Thunder7 said:


> That could be either a really positive (bow chica bowow) or negative (aw, no dinner either) kinda thing. Not sure which way you were going.


You will never know


----------



## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> You will never know


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Thunder7 said:


>


What does it mean that I think that is funny?


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

uhaul4mybaggage said:


> Always believe your dog. They KNOW. A dog's tail never lies.


A dogs tail? :scratchhead:


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I just wanted to brag. Yup. Here it is. 

Being a chameleon makes me an awesome poker player. I win the annual family poker tournament almost every year. Cannot wait to line my pockets full of cash again next week. 

Haha!

Oh, it's also helped get me out of paying for a thing or two too


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Some of that charisma is built on a disconnect between what you do and what the consequences may be. Borderlines tend to be BIG risk takers and their emotions are all amplified. Its not uncommon for them to have destructive outlets that help them deal with emotional intensitiy. Cutting is a popular one. Promiscuity another.
> 
> Im my experience with borderlines, there's little in the way of moderation. Everything is black and white. They love you or they hate you. Today you're the greatest person in the world, then you do some relatively trivial wrong, and you're the worst person in the world. They desperately want closeness, but once you're close they tend to push you away. Its a constant push pull. There's even a book about borderline personality disorder titled, "I hate you, don't leave me."



Nailed it. 

Thankful for therapy I wouldn't want to be any other way now. After time and therapy you're left with having all the coolest parts of being an intense bpd'er without all the awful things that go along w it anymore LOL
The occasion lapse happens but it has to be something really stressful or intense to make me regress. 

Anywho..as personalities go,I'll stick w being an under control bpd gal who enjoys being introverted
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Nailed it.
> 
> Thankful for therapy I wouldn't want to be any other way now. After time and therapy you're left with having all the coolest parts of being an intense bpd'er without all the awful things that go along w it anymore LOL
> The occasion lapse happens but it has to be something really stressful or intense to make me regress.
> ...


Interesting. Thank you for sharing your personal insight.


----------



## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> What does it mean that I think that is funny?


I don't have the answer to that question.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Thunder7 said:


> I don't have the answer to that question.


You are supposed to know everything. I'm disappointed in you.


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Our culture places too much emphasis on appearance and superficial behaviors and as a result people get awestruck by trivialities. Relationships that should not be end up as marriages and a couple years later (if lucky) or decades (if not) they end up on TAM...

By all measures I should be the next Harrison Ford  except for the extra pounds, Einstein hair, Swedish Chef accent, etc :rofl: but people get fixated on one or two physical attributes and that's all she wrote...


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

You can be whoever you want to be on here.


----------



## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> Is smiling a more physical attraction though? Or is that a characteristic of someone who is confident?



I think both. Smiling a lot or not smiling for that matter, tells the world a lot about you.-

I am very happy
I am confident
I am approachable
I like myself
I am interested in people

I personally love people who smile a lot and who are funny. Funny people can laugh at life and don't take themselves to seriously. The SNL type of humor is my fav. My DH's humor and smile are what made me fall in love with him!


----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> You can be whoever you want to be on here.



Those who know me in real life and online agree that there is very little difference between the two for me. I have been online since the early 80's before Al Gore invented the internet so I have had much time to merge my persona and real life into one.


----------



## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

over20 said:


> I think both. Smiling a lot or not smiling for that matter, tells the world a lot about you.-
> 
> I am very happy
> I am confident
> ...


Smile too much, and I will assume you're a scientologist/ Jehovah's witness :crazy:


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)




----------



## john117 (May 20, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Anywho..as personalities go,I'll stick w being an under control bpd gal who enjoys being introverted



This sounds suspiciously like my wife. Do you enjoy mathematics? Soap operas?


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

john117 said:


> This sounds suspiciously like my wife. Do you enjoy mathematics? Soap operas?


This made me smile.

I'm not her,
I love mathematics but hate Soap Operas.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

tracyishere said:


>


This made me smile and then cringe.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I don't know whether I should laugh or cry.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Btw that is just a "no" right off the bat. Lol no second chances from me if I ever see that. LMAO


----------



## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> You are supposed to know everything. I'm disappointed in you.


Oh, if only that were true. But, it would take all the mystery out of life.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> did I just read this right...YOU ...a step into the White Knight complex...who would have thunk it !


Yep. A very specific sort of girl does this to me every time. Its not a good thing.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

uhaul4mybaggage said:


> Why does this sound like a Pink song?


Pink is very likely a borderline if she writes the lyrics to her music.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Thankful for therapy I wouldn't want to be any other way now. After time and therapy you're left with having all the coolest parts of being an intense bpd'er without all the awful things that go along w it anymore LOL
> The occasion lapse happens but it has to be something really stressful or intense to make me regress.


That's exactly what I was chasing after. There aren't even words to describe how hard I fell in love with this one girl. I'd have done anything to help her manage it, but it was a very tricky balance to show someone you're safe and you won't leave, but still hold on to your dignity and avoid being manipulated. She was her own worst enemy. It was like once she had control, she'd drift away... but as long as I kept her at arms length (I had control), she'd keep chasing.

I have some great memories with her. She was the smartest, sexiest, most caring (and uncaring?) and most fun woman I've ever met.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Scarlett, are you not much the same as everyone else once treated? I always thought once treated, people with BPD lead relatively normal lives?

Can you elaborate on what the best traits are that you are referring to?

Sorry if this is prying. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I'm just curious.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> Scarlett, are you not much the same as everyone else once treated? I always thought once treated, people with BPD lead relatively normal lives?
> 
> Can you elaborate on what the best traits are that you are referring to?
> 
> Sorry if this is prying. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I'm just curious.


There's no cure for being borderline. They tend to mellow out like most people with age. They recognize their tendencies more... and develop strategies to keep themselves in check, avoid what they know to be unhealthy behaviors etc.

Therapy is never ending from what I gather and it helps them keep level. The ones I dated were all on drug c*cktails too... and regularly had to have their prescriptions or dosages changed from time to time.

It doesn't go away. They learn how to live with it and yeah, they can live a pretty normal life. But in my experience, the moment you let your guard down and stop doing the things that help keep it in check, you have an explosion that reminds you. The gf I was talking about always felt normal and we would stop doing the things that were managing/mitigating it... and then BOOM. There was a lot of picking up pieces, finding new strategies and ways to make sure you don't become too complacent. On my part, I had to learn how to navigate her triggers and make changes of my own that were conducive to her staying healthy.... and I wanted to do these things even though I knew it would never end.

Maybe I'm crazy too.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

That would definitely be a job for the strong hearted. I'm glad to know there are people out there who like those roles. It would be a lonely place for many if there wasn't.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> That would definitely be a job for the strong hearted. I'm glad to know there are people out there who like those roles. It would be a lonely place for many if there wasn't.


Funny, I never felt strong hearted or sacrificing. Its hard to describe, but every bit of effort I put into it was paid off by 10 times the amount of pure... life energy. I felt loved, admired, needed and valued. Then I'd be too close and be pushed away... I was controlling... she needed space etc etc. Each of those relationships ended because borderlines are notoriously bad with boundaries and in need of constant attention/validation. They desperately need boundaries (secretly want them - they'll abuse and/or dump you in a heartbeat if your boundaries are weak), but they always fight them. In every case, eventually the only means I had to enforce my boundaries was to threaten to leave (activating their fear of abandonment)... and when that threat eventually gets challenged, you have to actually leave or you're doomed.

But the good times... oh the good times. Lightning in a bottle.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I suppose you wouldn't if that is what attracts you. From an outsiders perspective it appears to be though. At least from me. I couldn't imagine enjoying that kind of challenge in a relationship.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> I suppose you wouldn't if that is what attracts you. From an outsiders perspective it appears to be though. At least from me. I couldn't imagine enjoying that kind of challenge in a relationship.


It isn't a challenge for my husband. He trusts me to keep myself in check and I trust him to never give me more than he receives from me. That's how we live.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> Scarlett, are you not much the same as everyone else once treated? I always thought once treated, people with BPD lead relatively normal lives?
> 
> Can you elaborate on what the best traits are that you are referring to?
> 
> Sorry if this is prying. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I'm just curious.


Eh,it's not worth discussing on this thread. I'm happy,my husband is happy...everything else kinda falls into place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

No problem. :smthumbup:


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: Personalities that catch the eye*



tracyishere said:


> Do you think there is a difference in what attracts women compared to men?
> 
> confidence seems to be across the board no doubt. But what traits exude confident? Is there a difference to each sex?


I can quite confidently say that for me when there is a woman I am attracted to, rarely is it because she comes across to me as "confident". I gravitate to the quiet, slightly more reserved ones. But "enthusiasm" goes a long way, it usually takes the bolder, more outgoing ones that have a hint of naughty before I usually start connecting. The quiet mysterious women are usually the ones that I focus my attention on.


----------



## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Lon said:


> I gravitate to the quiet, slightly more reserved ones. But "enthusiasm" goes a long way, it usually takes the bolder, more outgoing ones that have a hint of naughty before I usually start connecting. The quiet mysterious women are usually the ones that I focus my attention on.


You lost me. Your drawn to the reserved, but don't connect without them being bold? Contradictory?


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I think it was meant to throw you off. He listed almost every type.  Not a picky guy. 

I have a few friends I could send his way.


----------



## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

She needs a good home Lon.









She's shy, mysterious and bubbly.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: Personalities that catch the eye*



DvlsAdvc8 said:


> You lost me. Your drawn to the reserved, but don't connect without them being bold? Contradictory?


Yes contradictory, not confusing though, just means I connect with very few women im attracted to, which is why I have a very low "number" 8 first dates in my life and half of them turned into relationships. All of them lured me out of my shell.


----------



## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Mysterious, has confidence in her voice, kind that wants to get on a horse and ride off full gallop!


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

*Re: Re: Personalities that catch the eye*



tracyishere said:


> She needs a good home Lon.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Cute! If I'm ever single I'll have to get her #. What's your number and I'll call u, to get it from ya


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Actually is not that Tracy?:scratchhead:


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

rush said:


> Actually is not that Tracy?:scratchhead:



First cousin.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Lon said:


> Cute! If I'm ever single I'll have to get her #. What's your number and I'll call u, to get it from ya



Ok. 789-6969 Don't be shocked if you hear screaming in the background. Just focus on my voice. Listen very carefully. You might get sleepy.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

Screaming from what?


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

rush said:


> Screaming from what?



Shhh... Just ignore that. It's not important.


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## rush (Mar 29, 2013)

hum.......


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)




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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Funny you mention this, my husband and I were just talking about this the other day. Yes, I think that their are certain qualities we find in another person that speaks to us and help us to connect to one another. One of things I have noticed is my sense of humor tends to be dry and husband doesn't get it but when I joke with someone and they joke back there does seem to be a connection as we are in some sense talking a language we each understand. Likewise, my husband has a sense of humor where he likes to play on words and for people who like that there is a connection but I don't care for that type of humor. So in some sense we are neither one talking or understanding the other person's way of speaking.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Different languages. Huh. Interesting.


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