# Question for the Predators/Serial Cheaters



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

This is something I have been thinking about lately. I have read many of "findingmyway's" posts and this person was clearly all about sex, and would do anything to get it from other married women. He said that he would tell her anything *she wanted to hear*, blah blah blah just to get what he wanted from her.

So my question is, would these types of people even go so far as to tell the OW or OM that they LOVE them? Just for a sexual encounter(s) with them? 

Thanks for your input.

SW


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

southern wife said:


> So my question is, would these types of people even go so far as to tell the OW or OM that they LOVE them? Just for a sexual encounter(s) with them?


Absolutely. As you stated, they will do any/everything in order to bag the OW/OM.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Without question. Their morals do not exist (otherwise they wouldn't be doing this in the first place)...


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

there are people who lie and say they love someone only to kill them after getting married for their money, lying to get laid certainly would be more common


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Yes. That is what most people value most, so it is either the weakest point to attack (convince them they are unlovable by anyone but the predator) or the strongest point of most leverage (convince them that you would die for them). Ironically, the only defense against this form of attack is true love, and as much as you can get in any form you can get it in.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

:iagree:
Interesting, 13 years-20 OM and my wife also said this. I quess thats way no matter how bad things were in the marriage she keep coming back. It was all just a fantasy, a band aid for the unhealty marriage she had.

In WW case the "I love you" would have/and was a turn off for my wife, it meant the OM's were getting to close to her real world. It wasn't about finding love it was about putting a bandaid on her heart b/c the man she did love didn't love her back *me*......

That has changed


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

TG,

My wife said those same words... "Affairs were like band-aids for the confusion I was feeling towards our marriage".


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

2xloser said:


> Without question. Their morals do not exist (otherwise they wouldn't be doing this in the first place)...


So then it's fair to say they they are willing to "commit" themselves to the OW / OM and make all kinds of empty promises.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Well, it's not a "committment." It's banging. An affair isn't a real relationship.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

My STBXH said to me he had a fantasy of 'making love' to the OW and then looking her in the eye and telling her that he didn't love her, he loved me. He is of course a very sick man. But that is what he said to me. I am not sure if it's true that is what he wanted to do or even if it was what he did. But it could very well be. I was told by the police that what he did to me was along the lines of someone with extreme control and power struggle issues. It is beyond his control. Even if he wants to control it, I get it that he cannot. He makes promises and within a week or even less the promises are broken. Mere mortals cannot fix someone with these issues. The kindest thing a person can do for everyone involved is to step aside...there is a path for everyone. Sometimes it stops at understanding. Understanding does not lead to overcoming or being able to make anything better.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Thanks to all that have replied. Your input has been very helpful.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> My STBXH said to me he had a fantasy of 'making love' to the OW and then looking her in the eye and telling her that he didn't love her, he loved me. He is of course a very sick man.


Wow! That falls under the crazy things they say.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/26784-lame-excuses-lies-list-will-fun.html


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I already put his tidbits in there. After he said that my response was, why would I want to be with someone who would do that to a woman, even an 'other woman'. It's just wrong on so many levels. And if he didn't mean it, why would I want to be married to a guy who lacks tact and logic and in general says things that are alienating to women! I mean, so far as I know, he was not on drugs when he said this.


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## Tover26 (Oct 29, 2011)

LOL, wow, I'm a guy and I would never tell someone I loved them for sex. To me, it's a commitment when you say that and I'm just not that good of a liar. One time, I was sort of starting to date someone and I met someone else and we were talking and I was so consumed by guilt I had to leave. When I told the sort-of girl, she asked me, "Soooo... are you asked if we can be exclusive? I'm not ready for that yet." ...and that ended, which then freed me up to date other people and eventually find the woman would rip my beating heart out of my chest and drop kick it into a flaming trash heap. 

My wife told her lesbian lover the same lies. Gender doesn't seem to matter when someone is all fogged up from their affair partner's breath in their brains.


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

findingmyway said:


> To your initial question, did I ever use "I love you" for sex? Absolutely.
> 
> Do the guys like me that I know use "I love you" for sex? Absoultely.
> 
> ...


Ew! What a reptile!


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## K.K. (Oct 25, 2011)

I have been posting under several different threads. My husband, as far as I know and believe, has never cheated before. After a one night stand with a women who came on to him in restaurant, they were telling each other they loved each other. My son saw the text message from her on his phone, it said,"Goodnight, I love you.". How do you love someone after a one night stand? I questioned him about this and he said he didn't love her and she didn't love him. It was like a game. He said they were infatuated, like teenagers. What kind of trash comes on to a married man in a family restaurant, then says she loves him after 2 encounters of oral sex? How was she able to entice him this easily? I so confused with the whole thing.


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## cb45 (Oct 2, 2009)

he was really saying " i love you...SEX" not her, u digg?

just another way to comprehend it.


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## K.K. (Oct 25, 2011)

thanks, cb45, I never thought of it that way. I think that helps to handle it a little better. I appreciate the insight.


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