# Am I the only one ?



## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

Well , things started rolling rather quickly for me when it comes to finances , after consultation with my lawyer there is no easy way out or no way out at all from debt and property I own . I am going to default on all my debt and the house  It's scary that I have to turn my back on everything I worked so hard for and loose it all in a matter of seconds , I already signed a lease on an apartament , I dont know how am I going to feel in much smaller place with no back yard , nothing to do around the property , no workshop ... I guess Iam gonna have to suck it up and move on . All will be set and done by the 22nd 
Did anyone on here went or going through this difficult financial decisions ? How did it work out ? Or am I the only one ?


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Your not the only one. Ive been in a similar situation didnt walk away from it all but came close. I have family that had to do the same thing took a few years and he was back on his feet in a new house and vehicles so just keep your head up things will get better. Ive thought about just letting everything go and starting over myself at times but not at that point yet. YOu will get back to where you were and be better just keep your head up.


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

It is not a very pleasent thing to do , it actually makes me very angry and on top of divorce , child custody matters this is just killing me , I cant even sleep because of this , I cant believe that my stbxw is going to get away without any debt , I was so dumb by having all the credit in my name :scratchhead: instead of joint credit and mortgage ,but I guess I have to learn the hard way.


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Hey man I know the feeling just know that you will come out of this and you have learned a very valuable lesson. After all life is just a big lesson. Dont be too hard on yourself man if this is something you have to do then do it but if its something you can salvage by working extra or something by all means do that but hey man you know what is best for you. And dont worry what other people think because at the end of the day they are not in your shoes.


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

Thanks Lost 
Maybe you right , maybe I shouldnt worry to much of what others think , I definitely will do whatever it takes to make thinks better this time around and if I ever decide to get married again first thing I will do is ask for pre-nap


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Yep pre nump is a must for me also from now on. Man one thing Ive learned in my short life is F what everybody thinks because at the end of the day its my life I have to live with it and the decisions I make are what is best for me and my family. Let people think what they want because when you are back on top they will be like wth. Just remember no matter if your doing bad or good someone will always have something to say.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

6'5, think of it as trimming the fat. You will feel better when you know that you can provide for yourself and the gains will come in much more quickly once you get through this temporary period.


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

Thank you for the understanding , since Thursday I have been moving my stuff out of my house to new place , I have slept maybe 4hrs in total those days ( I was also working ) , but today I started moving final pieces out of the master bedroom and washroom and hallway upstairs then, out of nowhere I started crying like a child , I had a very hard time coping with the emptieness around , I loaded and unloaded my car 4 times today , I am still all fucdup , why does it hurt so much , what to F did I do to deserve this S..T ? Iam already at the new place and hoping to get some sleep here , I am really worried about tonight ... how do I switch from "my surrondings" to the place where I am only a guest ? I think I have another sleepless night ahead of me


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## Anewlife (Sep 15, 2011)

6foot5 said:


> Thank you for the understanding , since Thursday I have been moving my stuff out of my house to new place , I have slept maybe 4hrs in total those days ( I was also working ) , but today I started moving final pieces out of the master bedroom and washroom and hallway upstairs then, out of nowhere I started crying like a child , I had a very hard time coping with the emptieness around , I loaded and unloaded my car 4 times today , I am still all fucdup , why does it hurt so much , what to F did I do to deserve this S..T ? Iam already at the new place and hoping to get some sleep here , I am really worried about tonight ... how do I switch from "my surrondings" to the place where I am only a guest ? I think I have another sleepless night ahead of me


You found the right place buddy. Just let it ALLLLLLLLLLLLL out. Cry if you have to. It's been 4 weeks since mine file and she moved out. Won't speak to me NOTHING. Each day will get better....but some days will hit you like a ton of bricks. See a doctor get some meds (temporary...you won't become a dependant pill popper) get soem therapy. But most of keep your head up. We're here for you.


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

Anewlife said:


> You found the right place buddy. Just let it ALLLLLLLLLLLLL out. Cry if you have to. It's been 4 weeks since mine file and she moved out. Won't speak to me NOTHING. Each day will get better....but some days will hit you like a ton of bricks. See a doctor get some meds (temporary...you won't become a dependant pill popper) get soem therapy. But most of keep your head up. We're here for you.


I thought I was tough , no matter what ,I had always kept my composure in marriage , but now Iam turning into this soft , useless tit , I have nothing that would make me feel otherwise at the moment , I will be an official bankrupt as of next week ... this is not going to get any better any time soon I feel like a total failure to me ,and most of all to my child , but never the less I thank you for the support . I did join a divorce support group , there are about 6 woman and then there is me :scratchhead: imagine that


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Hey 6f5 keep your head up man. I thought I was a tough guy until I started going through this mess. I think divorce has the potential to break any person down. As far as bankrupt man you will bounce back one day sometimes bad things happens to good people but we come out stronger and wiser than when we went in. Your not a failure to yourself or your child none of us are failures just sometimes life deals us a hand that we have to be creative with.


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

It's done .
I am at the starting line again  It hurt so much shutting the door of my home for the last time . Now I am so empty , I do not know what Iam feeling ,just total emptiness , on the top of that I have a lot of working hours this weekend and Iam already worry how Am I going to keep straight face ...when is it going to stop?????


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Hopefully it will stop soon. Just know this is the start of something new. Im not going to say I know how you feel but I do know some people that have been in your shoes and they bounced back it just took a little time. Keep your head up and know this is a new beginning


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## forever learning (Sep 28, 2010)

6'5

Keep your chin up.....it will get better and you have nothing to be ashamed about...you did the best you could with the crappy hand you were given.... I have seen first hand.... folks that have been through bankruptcy,you will be fine...Bad things happen to good people...just start building your credit back...

I too have sobbed like a child...just the other day I had to leave work and I came home and I couldn't stop it....It doesn't make you weak or soft..you have had your heart broken and its normal...
I am struggling today with missing my wife and I have no idea when it will stop...someone asked me about her and when I started to answer I could hardly speak and my eyes got watery...it just comes out of nowhere sometimes...

This may sound weird but my buddies wife gave me some tea to try a couple weeks ago...I am not a huge tea drinker but I was having trouble sleeping at thought why not...The brand is Yogi....one is called stress relief and the other was bedtime..

the bedtime stuff knocked me on my butt...on't know if it was a combo of lack of sleep catching up or if it was the tea but I was sleeping like a baby..was pretty groggy in the am ..didn't like that part so much... so I went with the stress relief stuff nd I like that alot..it helps me relax and I have been sleeping alot better..
maybe one of those could help you ...


anyway don't worry about the emotions..you are caring man with a broken heart...let it run its course and don't fight it..I think that may even pro long the healing..its going to be a long road but you have a new start and there is no limit to where you may end up...keep the faith


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Dude...I feel I'm a strong guy (though only 6'2")...and I found myself breaking down tonight, over basically nothing. I've been moved out for a month now. Who knows how long this up and down will go on. Reading your posts resonated with how I feel.

The bankruptcy has got to throw fuel on the fire, but just let it go. It's a s*** sandwich and life force fed you a bite. Nowhere to go but up from here man. Seriously. One foot in front of the other. Watch stupid sitcoms, cheesy comedy movies, listen to some positive music, listen to some angry music...just try to stay away from the sad stuff as much as possible. The sad will find its way into your days on its own. Sleep REALLY helps. If you're having trouble with sleep going forward, get something from your doc or at least an OTC sleep aid from your local pharmacy. I've just recently done this and at least in the mornings I feel more ready to take on the day.

Wish you luck, tell us how you're doing. Hang tight.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

The good news-

Tabula Rasa

though working to get the bankruptcy off the plate will be hard work you are now free to make your own life choices. You are in control of your destiny now. Go forth and make it a good one.


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