# I just got a tattoo, my husband said he was ok with with it, now he is mad



## Jandry (Dec 28, 2009)

A month before I got married I got a tattoo without telling my fiance and he was so angry. His argument was that he wasn't informed and he wished he knew so he could have been there with me. My argument was that I didn't feel it was something I had to tell him about it was kind of a spur of the moment sort of thing. I informed him for I wanted to add on to that tattoo in the future and he agreed to go with me. Yesterday I woke up feeling like it was time to add on to my tattoo I asked him to help me choose between two quotes I was considering on getting and we agreed on one. I told him I called the shop and they were indeed open I asked him to go with me and he said to take my sister so I did. When I get home and show him my tattoo he gets really angry and begins to yell and saying how he is going to tell my dad (my dad is against tattoos). I don't understand how me getting a tattoo on my body hurts him or anyone else. After he finished his argument he decided to stop talking to me. He knows I hate having people I care about mad at me but I honestly don't see why I should apologize to him if I don't see I did anything wrong. What's your opinion on this? I don't mind hearing that I am wrong if that's what you believe.


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

I don't see anything wrong with what you did. Why does he feel it is his duty to tell your father about your tatoo? That baffles me... It sounds to me like he is a little controlling and manipulative. If he doesn't want a tatoo then he doesn't have to get one. Who cares if you do?


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## Jandry (Dec 28, 2009)

Thank you it feels good to know that someone agrees with me. And yes he is controlling and manipulating we have been only 6 months but I completely believe he had change but his true colors are showing day by day. I know we cannot change anyone other than ourselves so I just join this discussion forum as a way to express myself without being attacked for doing so, also to see if I can better understand him. Thank you so much for your response.


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

You didn't get one of those "I'm a $lut" advertisements on your lower back just above your ass did you? The one they refer to as a bullseye in "Wedding Crashers"?


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## MRi (Jan 2, 2010)

I guess I'm going to be a little bias here ... I LOVE tattoos ... I have over 5 already and I just started getting them last year .. my husband also has a lot ... I guess what I would say is that I don't think that you did anything wrong. If his feelings were hurt then that is something that you can apologize for and both move on from ... maybe see if he would like to get one in the future and that could be another thing you guys connect on. At this point weather parents like tattoos or not, it's 2010 .. times have changed. They are a beautiful work of art


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Well he's probably just reacting on an emotional level. Tatoos do on some levels mark you as more sexual. Maybe to him it's just like you wearing a big sign saying "I'm kinda ****ty". And maybe one of the things he liked about you was a lack of ****tiness.

I'm concerned about your impulsivity and lack of interest in his feelings. A tatoo is a permnant mark on your body, and obviously the man that plans to spend the rest of his life with you and feasting upon your naked body, _is going to have an opinion_ about you getting tatoos.

If he couldn't even go to the tatoo appointment, he's clearly NOT interested in seeing you get another tatoo.

Is your plan to just do implusive stuff without consulting him for the rest of your marriage?

And before anyone replies "It's 2010 and no one cares about tatoos anymore"... obviously the husband here cares very much, and the OP seems determined to piss him off. That's the issue. Personally I like tatoos. (Because I like the ****ty look :smthumbup: )


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## Holding Pattern (Dec 31, 2009)

Wife and I both have multiple tattoos and 10 years of marriage under our belts.

In your OP you said the first tattoo was a 'spur of the moment thing' and personally, I think if you're going to imprint something forever, maybe it shouldn't be a quick decision.

With that said - your husband did tell you to go with sister. Enough said, he passed the ball to someone else.

and before reading the next lines, remember, between wife & I we have about a dozen tattoos... 

1.the slxtty look doesn't work after a certain age
2.husband has to look at the tattoos forever
3.the slxtty look may make the husband feel like you're looking for attention from others (aka tats as attention factor and not personal art)

I love that my wife's ink is hidden. She can go out and look perfectly prim and proper but putting on a thin strap or sleeveless shirt (or when she takes it off for me) I can see the ink and find it quite sexy.


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## MRi (Jan 2, 2010)

Atholk - my words were not that "it's 2010 nobody cares anymore" they were QUOTE "it's 2010 .. times have changed. They are a beautiful work of art "

I agree your husband should be involved in making this decision, ,but you said that he told you to go with your sister - there for you didn't say no, just as holding patter said "he passed the ball to someone else."


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## Someone99 (Nov 11, 2010)

Tattoos cheapen women. It is ****ty and you have no respect for your husband... He does have to look at your body forever if he is married to you. You had no consideration for him. guess you guys dont really share everything in your marriage... sad


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## Someone99 (Nov 11, 2010)

on top of it, you chose your tattoo over your husbands feelings... guess that speaks volumes over what is important to you in your marriage.


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## Someone99 (Nov 11, 2010)

lol, Was your marriage a spur of the moment type of thing too? Hmmm


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## SadieBrown (Mar 16, 2011)

Personally I don't care for tattoo, but I think there is more going on here than just the tattoo. 

When my daughter got one, I wasn't happy about it but she was over 18 and so it was her body and her decision. What is with your husband's threatened to tell you father? You are an adult, you are married. It is not your father's business anymore. It sounds like you husband is threatening that if you don't behave he will 'tell daddy on you'. That is a little manipulative. 

Maybe you should have discussed the first one with him. But according to your post you did discuss the second and he basically gave you the go ahead and then get's angry after it is done? That is very childish and shows a lack of communications skills on his part. He should have either told you he didn't want you to do it, or he should have gone with you. But he told you to go with your sister, which to most people would imply consent, and then gets angry after it is said and done???? WTH?????


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Someone99 said:


> on top of it, you chose your tattoo over your husbands feelings... guess that speaks volumes over what is important to you in your marriage.


As much as I really don't want to agree with you I do. I hate tattoo's and would be really upset if my dh got one without discussing it with me and would be even more upset if he got another one knowing how I felt about them. 

Thankfully neither of us likes tattoos so I'm safe.


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## luckyman (Apr 14, 2011)

I am old enough to have seen tattoos rise to the level today where NOT having a tattoo is more of a statement than having one. For me, a tattoo is similar to seeing graffiti on a beautiful work of art. The graffiti may be "cool" looking, and may even carry a message, but it is an eyesore to the viewer who wants to appreciate the beauty of the art form. I have no tattoos, my wife has no tattoos and I discourage all those thinking about getting a tattoo. I can't think of a single symbol or phrase that I would want to represent me and who I am a year from now. I am constantly evolving; changing and (hopefully) improving myself. There is nothing that I want permanently etched into my skin that can possibly represent who I am, and who I will be next year, or ten years from now. I think that it is sad that you decided to get the tattoo in the first place, but all the more upsetting that you valued this form of "self expression" more than your husband's desire to see your body "graffiti-free."


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

If someone wants one it's their business. A spouse who feigns outrage that they weren't consulted, well that rings false with me. I don't have any, never want one and don't care who does. You hub should lay off. You're not property.


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