# Like a boss!



## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Watch this classic...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KGfp2aTnHs#t=25

:allhail:

Where credit is due...

http://www.mgtowhq.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=11453


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

This made my night 

Now I am searching for videos like this one,damn you hahaha


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Wow. That was really sad.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

jld said:


> Wow. That was really sad.


It is not sad. He should be happy because he got rid of her.

Imagine this 3-5 years down the road with kids. It would be a much harder for him.

He was in one TV show I think it is BBC and he talked about this.

You can find it on the yt.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Having read the description at the site that @tom67 linked, I can't believe that I actually watched that.

Kind of lame, to be honest.

I mean... that's an awful lot of work for a cheating hobag, and an about-to-be-dumped cheating hobag at that.

I'd have just dumped her w/o out the fanfare. Might have used a VAR, but that's about it.

And I certainly wouldn't have uploaded it to YouTube, etc.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Be smart said:


> It is not sad. He should be happy because he got rid of her.
> 
> Imagine this 3-5 years down the road with kids. It would be a much harder for him.
> 
> ...


Wait what???
PM this to Matt.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

I had wanted to see her reaction. He seems like a nice guy, won't have a hard time finding another lady and he got out before marriage, before kids. 
BUT - what is up with the pink dildo at the end. Does he just randomly keep that in the car? I feel like I missed something important there.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Having read the description at the site that @tom67 linked, I can't believe that I actually watched that.
> 
> Kind of lame, to be honest.
> 
> ...


True here...
But in the UK a "bloke" has to protect his arse since there domestic violence laws are worse then Cali and Il
Whatever he's moved on.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I wish I could fly to England just to buy him a beer. And I don't even drink....


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

jld said:


> Wow. That was really sad.


It's was simultaneously sad and priceless. She was cheating and the relationship only ended because this guy was smart enough to figure it out. It's sad to think of how many men and women don't figure it out and continue to be with people betraying them. Everything else is priceless.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Be smart said:


> It is not sad. He should be happy because he got rid of her.
> 
> Imagine this 3-5 years down the road with kids. It would be a much harder for him.
> 
> ...


It is sad that she was cheating on him.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> It's was simultaneously sad and priceless. She was cheating and the relationship only ended because this guy was smart enough to figure it out. It's sad to think of how many men and women don't figure it out and continue to be with people betraying them. Everything else is priceless.


It is sad that she would not be transparent with him. Transparency needs to be the basis of a relationship. No secrets.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Having read the description at the site that @tom67 linked, I can't believe that I actually watched that.
> 
> Kind of lame, to be honest.
> 
> ...


I would have done the same as you Gus but now I'm second guessing our approach. This girl looked smitten opening that envelope until she read the question about her OM and then she changed to a death stare. I bet she would look innocent and smitten opening the next letter from someone too except now there are consequences. So it's nice to imagine she will think twice before sneaking around. Maybe the guy in this video has it right and we have it wrong?


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> I had wanted to see her reaction. He seems like a nice guy, won't have a hard time finding another lady and he got out before marriage, before kids.
> BUT - what is up with the pink dildo at the end. Does he just randomly keep that in the car? I feel like I missed something important there.


My guess is they belonged to her. Soooooooo...............


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

jld said:


> It is sad that she would not be transparent with him. Transparency needs to be the basis of a relationship. No secrets.


You've got a point. For all we know, the dude would have been okay with an open relationship if she gave him that ultimatum up front ( I'm guessing not though ). It certainly looks like she fooled him into believing they were exclusive and he found out otherwise. That's the opposite of being transparent.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> You've got a point. For all we know, the dude would have been okay with an open relationship if she gave him that ultimatum up front ( I'm guessing not though ). It certainly looks like she fooled him into believing they were exclusive and he found out otherwise. That's the opposite of being transparent.


Yeah, I don't understand that. I really do not understand anything other than transparency in marriage.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> BUT - what is up with the pink dildo at the end. Does he just randomly keep that in the car? I feel like I missed something important there.


Haha, I was thinking the same thing. The dildos were kind of random and weird.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

soccermom2three said:


> Haha, I was thinking the same thing. The dildos were kind of random and weird.


Good question have to ask him.:wink2:


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

I watched the video. Comments say the sex toys were hers, so he took them. I think he looked really sad and upset. Guess making this video was therapeutic.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

jld said:


> It is sad that she would not be transparent with him. Transparency needs to be the basis of a relationship. No secrets.


It is sad that she could not be faithful.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> I would have done the same as you Gus but now I'm second guessing our approach. This girl looked smitten opening that envelope until she read the question about her OM and then she changed to a death stare. I bet she would look innocent and smitten opening the next letter from someone too except now there are consequences. So it's nice to imagine she will think twice before sneaking around. Maybe the guy in this video has it right and we have it wrong?


What everyone missed what what the guy said at the beginning of the video. OM blocked him and his friends and the wife removed him from facebook when he prosposed but she was still sending pictures and probably still banging him after the fact.

She would have married him and continued the affair. But I think more than anything by posting the video he was making sure the humiliation was so complete there would be no chance of R.

He seems to know her well, hence the taking of the video documenting the state of the house and filming himself giving back the keys.

More power to him. Well done lad.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Omego said:


> I watched the video. Comments say the sex toys were hers, so he took them. I think he looked really sad and upset. Guess making this video was therapeutic.....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He did look sad but also confident.

I wanted to not like him because I usually hate these kinds of things and I think he went way overboard and that's a lot of work to put in, but I found him charming (and not just the accent :wink2 and confident in himself. 
The way he brought her tea in bed, he probably has done that many times before. With all the romance and candles and letters, it was the tea that would have got me.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> It is sad that she could not be faithful.


Also.

Transparency would have prevented that, however.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> He did look sad but also confident.
> 
> I wanted to not like him because I usually hate these kinds of things and I think he went way overboard and that's a lot of work to put in, but I found him charming (and not just the accent :wink2 and confident in himself.
> The way he brought her tea in bed, he probably has done that many times before. With all the romance and candles and letters, it was the tea that would have got me.


It was sad. I felt bad for him.

I don't know how she could live with herself, two timing like that. I wonder what she would say now.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

jld said:


> It was sad. I felt bad for him.
> 
> I don't know how she could live with herself, two timing like that. I wonder what she would say now.


Ya, I wanted to shake her and say do you think good, charming, attractive men who bring you tea in bed just grow on trees?? 
I mean, maybe he's a total jerk and my impressions are all wrong but he seemed like a genuinely caring guy and not in the weak "nice guy" kind of way.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> Ya, I wanted to shake her and say do you think good, charming, attractive men who bring you tea in bed just grow on trees??
> I mean, maybe he's a total jerk and my impressions are all wrong but he seemed like a genuinely caring guy and not in the weak "nice guy" kind of way.


Yep. I just do not get it at all.

_Cherish_ a good man. I am surprised that is not instinctive.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

jld said:


> Also.
> 
> Transparency would have prevented that, however.


No. 

No it would not have. Lack of transparency has nothing to do with a lack of morals and personal boundaries.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

jld said:


> Also.
> 
> Transparency would have prevented that, however.


OK, I'll bite.

How?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> OK, I'll bite.
> 
> How?


If you are both transparent, how is an affair going to happen?

You share all feelings. You know each other's passwords. You are each aware of all financial transactions. 

Nothing hidden, everything out in the open. The opposite of the conditions for an affair.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

So what if I was your husband an one day I came to you and said," jld, I got to flirting with my coworker at lunch and we ended up in the broom closet bumping uglies. I just wanted you to know because you probably would not want to have sex with me for a few weeks until the results of my STD test comes back. I know it was a silly thing to do but we just kind of fell into it. 

You know I love you, and our anniversary last week was the most romantic getaway we ever had. I love you and would never lie to you so that is why I wanted you to know how I bent that girl over the trash cart and gave her a good going over. Not that she is any prettier than you. I only love you you know. It's just that, damn that girl has an azz that won't quit and we just...you know...went with our feelings. 

But don't think I don't love her or want her more than you jld. I just wanted to be honest with you because honesty fixes everything and things can go back to normal now. Hey...pick up my dry cleaning today on your way home. 'Kay? Love ya." :x


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

I like how he talked about how he told her that at any time she wanted out, he would give back her key. No drama, no fighting, just respect that he was informed and they can mutually split ways peacefully and I sensed that he was a reasonable enough guy to do just that. 

She was not married to him, she had no children, she had her own home. Nothing to tie her to him that would make it hard to just leave if she wasn't happy. Seems like just a spoiled, selfish type which sadly helps give a bad name to the rest of us. 
He did mention another woman and implied she had also cheated or something, his picker may be off. 
Hope he finds a lovely lady who deserves him.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> So what if I was your husband an one day I came to you and said," jld, I got to flirting with my coworker at lunch and we ended up in the broom closet bumping uglies. I just wanted you to know because you probably would not want to have sex with me for a few weeks until the results of my STD test comes back. I know it was a silly thing to do but we just kind of fell into it.
> 
> You know I love you, and our anniversary last week was the most romantic getaway we ever had. I love you and would never lie to you so that is why I wanted you to know how I bent that girl over the trash cart and gave her a good going over. Not that she is any prettier than you. I only love you you know. It's just that, damn that girl has an azz that won't quit and we just...you know...went with our feelings.
> 
> But don't think I don't love her or want her more than you jld. I just wanted to be honest with you because honesty fixes everything and things can go back to normal now. Hey...pick up my dry cleaning today on your way home. 'Kay? Love ya." :x


If it had gotten so far as flirting, he would tell me. It would stop there. Transparency is in real time, not after the fact.

Honestly though, bandit, Dug is not anything close to a flirt. He is a man of character.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

I loved how he handled the entire thing, very classy He was certainly more restrained and classy than I would have been. What I would love to know is what was the aftermath.

EDIT: some mentioned about his self confidence. This is how self confident people handle these situations. They don't let life just happen and allow the chips fall where they may, the assess the situation, formulate a plan (right or wrong) and then action the plan. You just have to have respect for this guy, whether you agree or disagree with what he didn't.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Yes middleman, I agree that's where I saw confidence too. He clearly set and stated his boundaries and calmly took action when she couldn't meet them. 
The kind of guy who can say I'll still have love for her and wish her well in whatever her future holds but I won't be in it is a strong, confident man in my eyes. 

The whole production of it all isn't really my style and usually those videos are so self righteous and you're left thinking they both dodged a bullet because they both suck.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> The whole production of it all isn't really my style and usually those videos are so self righteous and you're left thinking they both dodged a bullet because they both suck.


I don't think she dodged a bullet in this case, I think she lost a gem of a guy because she couldn't keep her legs closed once she got into a committed relationship. I know that I would have gone further than he did (I guess I'm the kind of guy you we're referring to) because not only would the "busted" video make it to you tube, everything else I found would have.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

The Middleman said:


> I don't think she dodged a bullet in this case, I think she lost a gem of a guy because she couldn't keep her legs closed once she got into a committed relationship. I know that I would have gone further than he did (I guess I'm the kind of guy you we're referring to) because not only would the "busted" video make it to you tube, everything else I found would have.


Sorry, that's what I meant. I didn't finish my thought. Usually these videos makes me think that but not with this one because he seemed like a really good and strong guy. 

I know the other kinds of videos are hard to judge because they are in such a difficult time in their life and I haven't seen many, just a few and I ended up thinking the guy in it was a d-bag.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

He is a decent fellow.

I do find myself wondering how a stronger man might have handled it, though. How to bring her to remorse and repentance in a way that would not rely on control techniques, but would spark gratitude in her, humility in him, and would leave both of them committed to a life of growth and integrity, together.

Pretty tall order.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

I think had they been married with kids and a whole life behind them I could see trying to fix it and reconcile but without those ties and while engaged, eh just leave it's not worth it.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> I think had they been married with kids and a whole life behind them I could see trying to fix it and reconcile but without those ties and while engaged, eh just leave it's not worth it.


I can certainly appreciate that pov.

He would really have to love her to strive for what I suggested.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

jld said:


> He is a decent fellow.
> 
> I do find myself wondering how a stronger man might have handled it, though. How to bring her to remorse and repentance in a way that would not rely on control techniques, but would spark gratitude in her, humility in him, and would leave both of them committed to a life of growth and integrity, together.
> 
> Pretty tall order.


I think she just wasn't that into him. And frankly, he could probably do better. So it wouldn't have been worth it to him to go through all of that.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

jld said:


> He is a decent fellow.
> 
> I do find myself wondering how a stronger man might have handled it, though. How to bring her to remorse and repentance in a way that would not rely on control techniques, but would spark gratitude in her, humility in him, and would leave both of them committed to a life of growth and integrity, together.
> 
> Pretty tall order.


Why would anyone (male or female) want to go through that effort without the moral or societal obligations of family or a legal marriage? Doesn't seem worth the effort to me, no matter how much love is there. That kind of cheating behavior is a reflection of the persons underlying personal character, or total lack there of. I would be hard pressed to stay even, with the moral, legal or societal obligations, let alone just being engaged. You are right, it's a very tall order.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Omego said:


> I think she just wasn't that into him. And frankly, he could probably do better. So it wouldn't have been worth it to him to go through all of that.


That could be, Omego. That could very well be.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> Why would anyone (male or female) want to go through that effort without the moral or societal obligations of family or a legal marriage? Doesn't seem worth the effort to me, no matter how much love is there. That kind of cheating behavior is a reflection of the persons underlying personal character, or total lack there of. I would be hard pressed to stay even, with the moral, legal or societal obligations, let alone just being engaged. You are right, it's a very tall order.


I think some people love very deeply. They are able to see past their own pain into the potential of another.

It is certainly not for everyone. But I think it would be a beautiful, transformative experience for the one who would receive that kind of true love. And for the giver, too.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

jld said:


> I think some people love very deeply. They are able to see past their own pain into the potential of another.
> 
> It is certainly not for everyone. But I think it would be a beautiful, transformative experience for the one who would receive that kind of true love. And for the giver, too.


Call me a cynic, but given today's legal environment, societal norms/political correctness and twisted senses of entitlement I don't see how that's workable any more. I think that might be 'romanticizing' (for lack of a better word) the situation a little too much. In the case of physical infidelity, especially before marriage, one is better off cutting their losses.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> Call me a cynic, but given today's legal environment, societal norms/political correctness and twisted senses of entitlement *I don't see how that's workable any more.* I think that might be 'romanticizing' (for lack of a better word) the situation a little too much. In the case of physical infidelity, especially before marriage, one is better off cutting their losses.


Could be. Not sure.

I think when you truly love someone, and see even a seed of goodness in them, there is potential.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> So what if I was your husband an one day I came to you and said," jld, I got to flirting with my coworker at lunch and we ended up in the broom closet bumping uglies. I just wanted you to know because you probably would not want to have sex with me for a few weeks until the results of my STD test comes back. I know it was a silly thing to do but we just kind of fell into it.
> 
> You know I love you, and our anniversary last week was the most romantic getaway we ever had. I love you and would never lie to you so that is why I wanted you to know how I bent that girl over the trash cart and gave her a good going over. Not that she is any prettier than you. I only love you you know. It's just that, damn that girl has an azz that won't quit and we just...you know...went with our feelings.
> 
> But don't think I don't love her or want her more than you jld. I just wanted to be honest with you because honesty fixes everything and things can go back to normal now. Hey...pick up my dry cleaning today on your way home. 'Kay? Love ya." :x


I am not going to say anything at this point. :rofl:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I would guess that the name of the AP was Thomas Roux, or Rue, rather than Thomas Roo as some Youtubers thought!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

If I have any issue with what he did, I guess the only thing I'm not into is doing all of this publicly via YouTube. 

He could have sent the video to their families and close friends if he wanted to record it for posterity and let people know what she did. I don't think shaming her in front of half the planet was particularly gentlemanly, but then again, I had a hard night at AA and I'm feeling unusually sympathetic to fvckups right now.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> If I have any issue with what he did, I guess the only thing I'm not into is doing all of this publicly via YouTube.
> 
> He could have sent the video to their families and close friends if he wanted to record it for posterity and let people know what she did. I don't think shaming her in front of half the planet was particularly gentlemanly, but then again, I had a hard night at AA and I'm feeling unusually sympathetic to fvckups right now.


You have to tell the newbies you are not alone and you are not special.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> I would guess that the name of the AP was Thomas Roux, or Rue, rather than Thomas Roo as some Youtubers thought!


Matt it is your duty to find this wrech.>


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## laroo (Feb 16, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> I would have done the same as you Gus but now I'm second guessing our approach. This girl looked smitten opening that envelope until she read the question about her OM and then she changed to a death stare. I bet she would look innocent and smitten opening the next letter from someone too except now there are consequences. So it's nice to imagine she will think twice before sneaking around. Maybe the guy in this video has it right and we have it wrong?


I thought she was nervous ever since she walked in the door and saw the candles. She kept doing this nervous laugh every time he did anything. I felt like she was like o crap I'm not ready for this. I mean he practically had to drag her up the stairs. I really imagined in the beginning that she would run up the stairs ahead of him in excitement and jump on the bed and be like wow! but she was just giving this sinister low laugh the whole time :/ almost like a belittling laugh

I still think he did a great job and she will think twice before she does that again. And the dildos at the end were hilarious. I felt like I was watching Trainspotting again for a second.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> He did look sad but also confident.
> 
> I wanted to not like him because I usually hate these kinds of things and I think he went way overboard and that's a lot of work to put in, but I found him charming (and not just the accent :wink2 and confident in himself.
> The way he brought her tea in bed, he probably has done that many times before. With all the romance and candles and letters, it was the tea that would have got me.


Honestly, the accent was annoying. Like nails on a chalkboard.

Made me want to kick him in the teeth.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

jld said:


> He is a decent fellow.
> 
> I do find myself wondering how a stronger man might have handled it, though. How to bring her to remorse and repentance in a way that would not rely on control techniques, but would spark gratitude in her, humility in him, and would leave both of them committed to a life of growth and integrity, together.
> 
> Pretty tall order.


Why bother with that level of commitment to someone unworthy of it? Going forward with marriage once she'd cheated would've been utterly stupid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

jld said:


> If you are both transparent, how is an affair going to happen?
> 
> You share all feelings. You know each other's passwords. You are each aware of all financial transactions.
> 
> Nothing hidden, everything out in the open. The opposite of the conditions for an affair.


While I'm certainly a fan of transparency, all it would've likely led to here is an earlier -- and more transparent -- break-up.

Her: "Hey, I'm going to f*ck this guy named Thomas."

Him: "OK. That's cool. GTFO."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> While I'm certainly a fan of transparency, all it would've likely led to here is an earlier -- and more transparent -- break-up.
> 
> Her: "Hey, I'm going to f*ck this guy named Thomas."
> 
> ...


But even that would be preferable to what happened, right?

I guess I envisioned it more as,

Her: "I am feeling attracted to Thomas."

Him: "Let's talk about that."

Talking about it (exposure) takes the power out of it.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

tom67 said:


> Matt it is your duty to find this wrech.>


I would rather leave her up in the North of England thank you! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> While I'm certainly a fan of transparency, all it would've likely led to here is an earlier -- and more transparent -- break-up.
> 
> Her: "Hey, I'm going to f*ck this guy named Thomas."
> 
> ...


Triggers are rare for me but that scenario triggered me to be honest.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Triggers are rare for me but that scenario triggered me to be honest.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do you want to talk about it?

Talking it out can take the power out of it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

jld said:


> Do you want to talk about it?
> 
> Talking it out can take the power out of it.


Matt's WW was very transparent. She went to Matt and told him she was going to sleep with a guy, then she did it while he was at home waiting for her. 

She was very honest and open about it. What more could he ask for? 


Oh yeah....for her not to have done that...

He was transparent and asked her not to do it, but she went and did it anyway.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

jld said:


> But even that would be preferable to what happened, right?
> 
> I guess I envisioned it more as,
> 
> ...


I don't know any self-respecting man who would respond like that (in a monogamous relationship). I can't envision anyone I know saying "let's talk about that".


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Matt's WW was very transparent. She went to Matt and told him she was going to sleep with a guy, then she did it while he was at home waiting for her.
> 
> She was very honest and open about it. What more could he ask for?
> 
> ...


Bloody hell, Bandit! Your Cliff Notes version of the event has worked really well!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Bloody hell, Bandit! Your Cliff Notes version of the event has worked really well!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hey, I'm all for transparency.


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

I loved the choice of music in the background. Nice touch! I do agree it was a bit much to post it on youtube, but somehow I bet if he sent it to close friends and family it would have ended up there anyway. And yeah, it had me clicking around on related videos for an hour the other day when I first saw it..


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

TheGoodGuy said:


> I loved the choice of music in the background. Nice touch! I do agree it was a bit much to post it on youtube, but somehow I bet if he sent it to close friends and family it would have ended up there anyway. And yeah, it had me clicking around on related videos for an hour the other day when I first saw it..


Links or it didn't happen...



Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> Honestly, the accent was annoying. Like nails on a chalkboard.
> 
> Made me want to kick him in the teeth.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You'd have to kick that pink dildo out of the way first, he seemed super comfortable with that so close to his mouth> That was a really strange way to wrap things up.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

bandit.45 said:


> So what if I was your husband an one day I came to you and said," jld, I got to flirting with my coworker at lunch and we ended up in the broom closet bumping uglies. I just wanted you to know because you probably would not want to have sex with me for a few weeks until the results of my STD test comes back. I know it was a silly thing to do but we just kind of fell into it.
> 
> You know I love you, and our anniversary last week was the most romantic getaway we ever had. I love you and would never lie to you so that is why I wanted you to know how I bent that girl over the trash cart and gave her a good going over. Not that she is any prettier than you. I only love you you know. It's just that, damn that girl has an azz that won't quit and we just...you know...went with our feelings.
> 
> But don't think I don't love her or want her more than you jld. I just wanted to be honest with you because honesty fixes everything and things can go back to normal now. Hey...pick up my dry cleaning today on your way home. 'Kay? Love ya." :x


Am I wrong to find that hot....

If she ain't lying, if she got good taste, and she still giving all the love and time to you as well (and to kids, and not wasting resources time/money/reputation on her flings). Taking good disease control.
Then tell me all about it babe, are they looking for 3 , 4 way?


I found the video a bit sad. Sure I understand the desire to give pain and payback, especially in the light of disappointment, but he deliberately built her hopes up and then was an arsehole...most importantly he did it _deliberately_ to hurt her. Not really on.

You know what _really_ stood out to _me_?
This wasn't his first affair gf !! So assuming that's not his "type", and he didn't advertise for it; I'm wondering just what it is about his selection and/or behavior that brings women that have affairs (or motivates him to affairs).
And judging by the theft of the toys... I assume he likes women who like exciting, adventurous, "playful" sex - which to me strikes as that he's setting himself up to fail. Also women who are flirty (and thus likely to find him fun and attractive and exciting) and easy-come, are also likely to be "playful" and less conventional, less narrowly committed. A description that fits women who don't spend a lot of time planning ahead properly or ordering their lives/self-discipline.... ie those who are very very likely to be "distracted" by other sexual and exciting playmates.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

kristin2349 said:


> You'd have to kick that pink dildo out of the way first, he seemed super comfortable with that so close to his mouth> That was a really strange way to wrap things up.


He was pretending it was a microphone.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

spotthedeaddog said:


> Am I wrong to find that hot....
> 
> If she ain't lying, if she got good taste, and she still giving all the love and time to you as well (and to kids, and not wasting resources time/money/reputation on her flings). Taking good disease control.
> Then tell me all about it babe, are they looking for 3 , 4 way?
> ...


But she was not upset, or angry. She was just: "I thought he was stupid, but he wan't. He busted me. I blew it."


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> Bloody hell, Bandit! Your Cliff Notes version of the event has worked really well!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why did you stay, MM?


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

the guy is awesome. Calculated, disciplined. Great guy. Kudos to him. This is good stuff


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

tom67 said:


> True here...
> But in the UK a "bloke" has to protect his arse since there domestic violence laws are worse then Cali and Il
> Whatever he's moved on.


True Tom. True


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

farsidejunky said:


> Links or it didn't happen...
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


Play the original video in YouTube and then scroll down to just about any of the related links. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

jld said:


> If it had gotten so far as flirting, he would tell me. It would stop there. Transparency is in real time, not after the fact.
> 
> Honestly though, bandit, Dug is not anything close to a flirt. He is a man of character.


I was going to bring up Matt's case but Bandit beat me to it. So transparency isn't fool proof. Also, most people don't stop in the middle of cheating and say "Hold on, let me call my wife or husband and let them know what I am about to do"


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

wmn1 said:


> I was going to bring up Matt's case but Bandit beat me to it. So transparency isn't fool proof. Also, most people don't stop in the middle of cheating and say "Hold on, let me call my wife or husband and let them know what I am about to do"


Clearly, there has to be agreement on values, too. Unless you plan to just wait out the affair, like Wazza did.

In MM's case, I do not see what has kept him there. They do not have children. He must really love her. 

Or fear being without her?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

jld said:


> Why did you stay, MM?


I love her. And I had made a promise (not to her, incidentally) to stay with her and to look after her.

Marriage to someone who is a (very!) High Functioning Asperger's is never easy, even without cheating!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> I love her. And I had made a promise (not to her, incidentally) to stay with her and to look after her.
> 
> Marriage to someone who is a (very!) High Functioning Asperger's is never easy, even without cheating!


If you are going to stay no matter what, then transparency at least gives you a heads up on what she is doing.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

jld said:


> If you are going to stay no matter what, then transparency at least gives you a heads up on what she is doing.


Her cheating was a long time ago.

I hope she never actually does it again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Her cheating was a long time ago.
> 
> I hope she never actually does it again.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Her logical but emotionally disconnected mind is why she didn't completely grasp the consequences from an emotional standpoint. But her logical mind now sees the devastation and knows to never go there again.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> Her cheating was a long time ago.
> 
> I hope she never actually does it again.


And if she does?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> And if she does?


He will buy her a pink dildo.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> He will buy her a pink dildo.


And do karaoke.


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

jld said:


> Wow. That was really sad.


Agreed. Karma is a b!tch.

Of course, its also karma that no intelligent, decent woman will ever date him again either. I would never date a man who did what he did.

How you break up with someone says a lot also about ones character. Kudos to him for breaking off with her but not posting it on youtube for the world. He will regret it.

Google is forever... for his future children AND hers to see.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

spotthedeaddog said:


> This wasn't his first affair gf !! So assuming that's not his "type", and he didn't advertise for it; I'm wondering just what it is about his selection and/or behavior that brings women that have affairs (or motivates him to affairs).
> And judging by the theft of the toys... *I assume he likes women who like exciting, adventurous, "playful" sex - which to me strikes as that he's setting himself up to fail. * Also women who are flirty (and thus likely to find him fun and attractive and exciting) and easy-come, are also likely to be "playful" and less conventional, less narrowly committed. A description that fits women who don't spend a lot of time planning ahead properly or ordering their lives/self-discipline.... ie those who are very very likely to be "distracted" by other sexual and exciting playmates.




Sometimes your picker is just off, at least they were just girlfriends. That's the time to figure out if they are a good match or not. He figured out before marriage and kids that they weren't.

I agree that a flirty, immature girl who enjoys a lot of male attention is probably not quite ready to settle down but I don't agree that a woman who likes playful, adventurous sex are any kind of risk in itself. 
There are millions of happily married, monogamous women who like crazy, wild sex with their partner. I think it's more a set-up to fail to be with a woman who doesn't!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> And if she does?


I honestly do not know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> I honestly do not know.


Then what's her incentive to _not_ do it again?

Know and communicate your dealbreakers.

Draw your line in the sand.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> Then what's her incentive to _not_ do it again?
> 
> Know and communicate your dealbreakers.
> 
> Draw your line in the sand.


She probably has only one incentive. The fact that I was so devastated and broken by what happened that I had a revenge affair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

MattMatt said:


> She probably has only one incentive. The fact that I was so devastated and broken by what happened that I had a revenge affair.


And how did that affect her?


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

sapientia said:


> Agreed. Karma is a b!tch.
> 
> Of course, its also karma that no intelligent, decent woman will ever date him again either. I would never date a man who did what he did.
> 
> ...



She was playing him big time. She got what she deserved. As far as his putting it on you tube, I think he's willing to deal with the consequences. After all, she's the cheater. He will find someone just fine. he seems like a good guy. She on the other hand isn't cool and while guys tend to be more physical and she will get interest as she is attractive, noone would want her either.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

GusPolinski said:


> And how did that affect her?


How did she, Matt ?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

wmn1 said:


> How did she, Matt ?


She realised how badly it had hurt me. She had thought if I knew in advance that, logically, I would not be hurting too much.

But the reality is that it hurt like f**k.

And she saw it in me and knew she was the cause.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> He will buy her a pink dildo.


Pink is *so* not her colour, Bandit.

And as a good Catholic girl, sex toys are *definitely* out! 

Yes, I know, she is a collection of contradictions which is part of the fun, I guess.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Just watched the movie. Actually, I think she was a single mom. Early in the video he talked about how he'd miss Alex (I think that was the name given), but that since she cheated he was done so he couldn't help that. Also, nice trampoline in the back yard and I thought there was a childs shirt hanging up on a doorknob when he went downstairs.


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

wmn1 said:


> She was playing him big time. She got what she deserved. As far as his putting it on you tube, I think he's willing to deal with the consequences. After all, she's the cheater. He will find someone just fine. he seems like a good guy. She on the other hand isn't cool and while guys tend to be more physical and she will get interest as she is attractive, noone would want her either.


You clearly didn't understand my post. I never said she didn't get what she deserved.

I'm sure he will find someone. As they say, there is someone for everyone. But there are some people who would find his response just as distasteful as her behaviour. Perhaps her cheating, while not justified, didn't happen in a vacuum. Just saying.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

That's fine, Sapientia. All is cool. I just wish I knew the after story. Did she ever try to contact him back ? What happened afterwards ? I couldn't believe it got 7 million views. 

Regardless of whether we agree regarding his putting it on youtube, which was a brutal response but payback is hell, we can all agree that infidelity sucks big time


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