# 9 Years and then Whats Best



## Jme (Feb 10, 2011)

I have been married for 9 years. We have two children 8 and 5. Seems like over the past 9 years we have become different people with different outlooks on life.
I am very unhappy in my marriage. I dont know what else to do. Everytime I try to talk to my husband about it, he either leaves the room or tells me he doesn't want to talk about it.
Basically right now I am asking him to step up as a father and a husband. His daily routine consist of waking up, going to work, coming home, smoke weed, read a book, and then play video games. My daily routine is getting the kids ready, getting ready myself, taking them to school and me to work, picking the kids up from work, making dinner, household chores, helping the kids with homework, getting them bath, or I may be taking them to dance, karate, or soccer, finish some more household chores or going on errands such as grocery shopping, then I finally get to go to bed. When I ask him to help he goes in the garage, when we yell and fight about him helping he stops helps for about 15 minutes and then goes back to the garage.
I am so frustrated, I dont know what to do. Everytime I talk he says everything is always his fault and he doesn't want to talk about. 
My house is a complete disaster, clothes piled everywhere, furniture in disarray. The kids rooms are clean most of the time, and the kids bathroom is great, but he doesn't go into these areas ever.
what do you do when you try to fix something and the spouse just wants to ignore it.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

What does HE say when you fight?


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## AlwaysThinkingMaybe (Jan 31, 2011)

Jme,

There's a lot of similarities between your situation and mine. When I've tried to talk to my H he almost always shuts down and says yeah, everything's his fault but does listen or hear how I'm trying to suggest we both have things to work on and he needs to step up and take on his part of it.

As for the housework, I have a full time job so I finally broke down and got a housekeeper. It was a great stress reducer for the entire household. You only have so many hours in the day, you got to make them count for your family.

Ultimately, it generated more peace in the household, but doesn't change some of the ongoing issues I've been having with H outside of the chaos that was our home.


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## Jme (Feb 10, 2011)

vthomeschoolmom---Basically when we fight, Sometimes he turns it around on me. Starts going off about what I do and dont pay attention to him etc.
Other times he literally says he doesnt want to fight right now and will walk away. Shuts me out.


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