# Internet searches



## Tsquare9 (Oct 8, 2011)

I used my wife's iphone recently and saw she made several searches for someone named Bob that she works with. My wife is constantly looking up Bob online. Sample searches:

Bob city; Bob city company name; Bob city girlfriend; wife's astrological sign bob's astrological sign compatibility

As far as I know, their correspondence has been strictly professional. I've mentioned here before that there's been some friendly texting, but it's been about work. Maybe I'm in denial, are these internet searches harmless? Or, is this the makings of an emotional affair? We'll be moving 4 hours away from this person in a week, is it something I should still be worried about? What would you all do if you found your spouse/SO making these searches? What would be the best way to confront her about this?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

most certainly not good at all and very likely she is at the very least infatuated with him


in your other thread you mention her staying late and such and this adds to the possibility that she is already engaged in a physical affair


you have two routes you can take-

A) Demand complete transparency now, have her allow you access to everything- you can retrieve the deleted texts from the iphone, if you don't know how we can help. If she refuses then it's time to put your foot down and kick her out.

B) Keep snooping without her knowing to see what has transpired and is happening


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## knightblaster (Oct 15, 2011)

Tsquare9 said:


> I used my wife's iphone recently and saw she made several searches for someone named Bob that she works with. My wife is constantly looking up Bob online. Sample searches:
> 
> Bob city; Bob city company name; Bob city girlfriend; wife's astrological sign bob's astrological sign compatibility
> 
> ... Maybe I'm in denial, are these internet searches harmless? Or, is this the makings of an emotional affair? ...


The question is what would "Bob city girlfriend" or "wife's astrological sign bob's astrological sign compatibility" have to do with her professional relationship with him? I'm not sure what industry she works in, but I'm guessing that these kinds of queries have nothing to do with that business relationship.

At the very least, this is an unhealthy curiosity about another man.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

The fact you re moving together to SA is more than great.

Her bahvior is unhealthy. Start working on your marriage. Have date noights and so on. 

It sounds like they are NC right now. Is that correct?

What changed? Is she still going to stay longer on he project or is it over. Did you insist she stop?


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

As someone who had an EA, I can say that my EA started with searches about the OW, and that led to more contact and more things to talk about that I learned during my searches. I also did the compatibility horoscope thing. We had a great friendship going on that I ruined by taking it to the next level. 

Tell you wife my story if you want. I wish the whole thing never happened. It has ruined my life more that I can communicate. And I'm only a month or so out from being caught.


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## Geoffrey Marsh (Aug 11, 2011)

Your wife is defiantly in the beginning stages of an affair, if not already involved in one.

I think it would be wise to continue snooping. Take it to the next level and get some tracking software for the home computer. Others on here can point you to other devices/software you could use.

The whole astrological signs thing tells me she is looking into going to the next level with this guy.

Moving away might help but it is not a cure. Many...many people have long distance affairs...in fact the distance between them could help to conceal the affair.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Definitely infatuation at the very least. I am wondering just how dangerous it would be for a husband to use infatuation with a real life person to play off of, use as a fantasy to get his W turned on and deliver the goods? Anyone else think Tsquare could playfully ask "who's bob" with a devious smile, and somehow work it into getting sex with his W, or could playing that out lead the W further into her infatuation with this bob guy?


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Stop her now, before it gets deeper than this !


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

HerToo said:


> As someone who had an EA, I can say that my EA started with searches about the OW, and that led to more contact and more things to talk about that I learned during my searches. I also did the compatibility horoscope thing. We had a great friendship going on that I ruined by taking it to the next level.
> 
> Tell you wife my story if you want. I wish the whole thing never happened. It has ruined my life more that I can communicate. And I'm only a month or so out from being caught.


Curious...Why search on the internet, what type of info were you hoping to find about her, other than astrological stuff?

Sorry this happened to you.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Friends, hobbies, past employment, interests, anything.

It happened to me because I let it happen. The OW is not married.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

I've let it happen to me, too, in a LTR. Not one of my prouder moments, and that's part of the reason I have so much difficulty in life today. The killer? I've done a lot of it to myself.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I have to admit, it was a HUGE ego boost for me. Self-esteem has always been an issue for me. Sometimes the issue is very small, and sometimes extremely large. It's always there waiting for the good or bad to be fed.


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