# why still use our email



## angang003 (Jul 3, 2013)

Just need to clarify my mind, so on previous post- I was in a controlling and abusive relationship for 3 years and finally walked away. I had went back many times hoping he would change and respect me as his girlfriend. We would fight, I would contact him and try to fix it- we would be good for a week or so- he would be nice and caring and all that good stuff. Then I do something or say something that he doesn’t like and he would start calling me names and disrespecting me. Then I go back to it again. 

One night we was chatting, and I wasn’t in the mood to chat, and he was going on about his selling items and blah blah, so I listened and encourage him and told him I am proud of him, so then he was like I don’t know how to communicate, and I was like yeah, im stupid.. and he agreed and I got upset and hung up. so before I could call him back- he text me to “go die” that is his favorite word. So that started an argument, I told him, I was just upset and you didn’t even give me a second to calm down before attacking me, so he blamed me for all this and started calling me a hoe- that I am stupid, with no conversation – I cant even speak freely cause he picks at everything I say.. he was very controlling, no friends, no outside activities – and just work and home and to text him every hour and call him to let him know what I am doing..so obviously, no communication on my end.

Anyhow, he started saying some hurtful things wishing death on my grandmother (who happens to be in a nursing home now) my mother and hurtful things about my brother that passed away. Mine you ,he never met them. I was so hurt, and was like you would be the last person I would turn to in time of sorrows.. saying how I am a hoe, when i have been faithful to him for the years we were together- then he likes I wasted 3 years of his life, and that I need to pay him back his money of the clothes he bought me. I didn’t ask him to buy me anything, he wanted me to dress a certain way so he bought my tops. He like I either pay him back or he will call my job and get me fired. So I was like I will pay – give me time.. so that was that – I never contacted him since. But he still uses the email that has our name together on hit, and he has some female sending him messages to hang and party.. so I don’t know if he is doing this to make me jealous and for me to fight my way back to him. But why use our email that has our name on it to email another female. I am done with him and DO not see a future with him anymore.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

If you're done with him, get your OWN email and stop worrying about who he is emailing with. Who cares why he's doing what he's doing?


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## angang003 (Jul 3, 2013)

True!! he is just trying to get me jealous to see if I will run back to him.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

And will you?


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## angang003 (Jul 3, 2013)

I am trying my best each day to remove the harshness out of my mind. I am trying to find the strength I use to have to be happy again.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

He sounds like a dangerous person. You are much better off staying far away from him and not having any contact.
The fact that you would tolerate being treated like that for one minute shows that you have growing to do. People who care about others do not act like he was behaving towards you. Begin to educate yourself on what a healthy relationship looks like, so you will be able to set healthy boundaries and have good relationships. He sounds like he is your enemy. Going back to him will only cause you pain. You cannot change him and he sounds like he believes he is fine the way he is and has no motivation to become a man of character. A man of poor character is no good.
You have not cut all ties if you are sharing an e-mail account with him. Whose name is the e-mail account actually in? If it is in his name, it would be in your best interests to remove all of your personal information, saved e-mails and contacts from that account. If it is in your name, it would be good to change the password and close the account.
Open your own personal e-mail account and stick with that.


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## angang003 (Jul 3, 2013)

CynthiaDe- thank you- He has a bad temper with me and everyone else he smiles with.. I know who he truly is. 
I set the email up, but he uses it for his stuff ( I have my own) it just has our names on it. I told him I will delete it and for him to make his own. He got upset and told me to leave his email (which has our name on it) because he gets all his emails there and if I Touch it or delete anything he will show me he dont play. Mind you he has already threaten me that I have to pay him back his money for the clothes he bought - which i never asked for.. or else he will call my job and make up lies about me to get me fired. tha tI have a month to pay him back. he is such an ass!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

I have never heard of an e-mail account with more than one name on it. Take all of your information off the e-mail that has anything to do with you and let it go.
Tell your boss what your ex threatened you with, so they are aware of the situation.
Do not have any further contact with him. If he shows up at your home, do not open the door. Tell him to leave. If he does not leave, call 911.
Forget about the money he wants from you. He cannot collect. Keep a detailed record of everything he has threatened you with - write it all down. If he contacts you again, write it all down. You may need to get a restraining order against him.


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