# Stressful relationship



## sorryuser (Sep 3, 2007)

Me and my husband have been married for close to 10 years. Ou love has faded. I am very unhappy now as i see lot of mismatch in our relationship. His interest, his ambitions, likings, are totally different from mine. Due to which we have heated conversations. This stress has started to affect my health. I see my health detoriating. I have let my stress out in many ways nothing has helped.
Everyday our relationship is getting worst. I think we pretend to like each other. 
I guess we live together for our only child. She loves us both and i just feel so bad for her when she has this scary look on her face when we fight.

I really want to know where this limits. When do i really feel enough is enough and at the moment I am so confused as what excatly i should do.
I think it has gone beyond repair. He has been using harsh words on me offlate.
I want to really save myself and my daughter. I donot want to regret in my life for my decisions. I do feel it is so wrong to live a pretentious life.
I am depressed, I am helpless, I am weak and sick. I need help and relief . I need my life back. I have been the most happiest person in my life in the past. I have never ever cried in my life. Today I cry every day. I cry so much someday till i feel I am going to die and get control over myself. Some one out there reach out and tell me what i should do?? Thanks.


----------



## steelcurtain (Aug 25, 2007)

_"I have been the most happiest person in my life in the past. I have never ever cried in my life. Today I cry every day. I cry so much someday till i feel I am going to die and get control over myself. "_

This is pretty sad to read, so far I've read nothing positive out of this man he is verbally abusive, disrespectful, affecting your health, and has put you to the point where you cry on a daily basis. _What kind of a man loves to beat down on a woman so emotionally to where she feels like she has no exit _ 

I know your scared and I feel the only reason why your still around subjecting yourself to this abuse is because of your daughter. You posted on this forum for a nonbiased opinion and for the sake of yourself and your daughter, you need to leave this man. Marriage is a partnership between two people that love and *respect* eachother and the qualities that each one brings to the table not a LIFE SENTENCE!! You have been married 10yrs that is a long time to be unhappy but that doesnt mean you have to stay another 10yrs. I dont think your body can handle this for another 10yrs darling. Keep in mind that your daughter is top priority and she doesnt need to this jerk treating her mother that way, if you dont put your foot down and leave then your daughter will grow up to think that all men are like this and it is ok for a man to treat them this way. 

This is coming from a man who is infuriated by your husbands actions, dump this freakin jerk and be happy again. I know it is easier said than done. Prepare yourself, plan accordingly, get with family, then move on with you life.


----------



## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

I agree with steelcurtain, U should leave this man for your welbeing and your daughter's. Its more damaging to her emotional development watching the unhappiness and stress u r going thru than growing up with one parent happily. If u think its over then no point putting yourself and your daughter in torture. 

Once u have decided on leaving do it as amicably as possible in the best interest of your child, do not have arguments or hurt each other infront of your daughter, she may need to have a positive relationship with her father and dont hold grudges against him for life. Children tend to think that they are the cause for their parents problems and feel sad and stressed, they may even become withdrawn or abusive themselves. 

The reason why i m telling u is my mum is a single mother and i hated my father throughout life........sometimes wonder whether i should have known him better.


----------



## janus76 (Sep 5, 2007)

staying together for the child only ends up putting stress on the child in he long run becuase she will pick up on the tension in the house surely she will be better off with two happy parents that dont live in the same house rather than 2 parents that fight and argue all the time


----------



## sorryuser (Sep 3, 2007)

Thanks guys... the kid loves the Dad... she really loves him. I have slowed down and i have not been talking much at all. I am very sad deep inside though. I was ready to take this crapy life for my little one. I am not sure how long i can get this going. I no longer trust anybody. I come from a totally different background than him. I am way to educated than him. I have lots of ambitions and aspirations. He has no hobbies, no interest or ambitions. Is it any ego that is causing friction between us? I am very sad and lonely. My work is my happiness currently. I work for a company that wants everything by yesterday so it keeps me so busy and i enjoy it. I havenot disclosed anything to any of my friends.. well i don't trust anybody so i donot feel like sharing it with anybody. Do i have to contact a therapist or a counseller.?


----------



## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

sorryuser,
I know how terrible to feel lonely, especially women (we love talking and chatting dont we?). Dont worry dear, every problem in this world has solutions. Its a very good move to see a counsellor first and sort out your feelings, then it would be easier for you to make decision and the possibility of you being happy with your decision will be high. Sometimes its really hard for us to sort out our feelings on our own without being biased. So a professional third party is good.

I am also more educated than my husband but we dont see that as a + or - in any aspect of our relationship. Oh when it comes to hobbies, ambitions etc, I would tell you every one of us is unique and its not surprising at all, its in how much we are going to give and take and respect each other's way. For us, it seemed like we have same ambitions, hobbies and goals during the first two years but slowly things started to change and we have gone back to who we are actually  but thats life. "You have to get to know someone really well to realize that you are really strangers". Why I m telling you this is, if u think that by any chance that u have said or done something unknowingly that made him inferior to u, then the possibility of him acting the way u mentioned is very likely. If this is the case and u really think u can love him again if he changes to be what he was then perhaps its worth analyzing this problem. After all he you have mentioned that your daughter loves him, he sure must be a great dad

I wrote the above to just get you think if there's a chance put your family back together not to offend you any way dear. 

But whatever, its best to see a counselor first. Take care


----------



## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

Thewife said:


> sorryuser,
> "You have to get to know someone really well to realize that you are really strangers".


Pardon me, the above sentence should be "You have to get to know someone really well to realize that you are really different" (not strangers)


----------

