# Wife is constantly texting her best friend and its ruining our marriage



## Halifax101 (May 6, 2014)

My wife and her best friend (female) text each other 6 to 10 times a day every day and its made me feel as though there is another person in our marriage. 

I have told my wife I'm not happy and although she's said she's cut down the number of texts she sends she is still at it on a daily basis and even being sly about it. Its as though she can't go a single day without contact.

When ever I try to talk about the matter my wife thinks I'm being a controlling husband and thinks she will be rude if she doesn't reply to the texts but I've had enough.

Please help....


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

If i am totally honest i cant see a problem here. I like to go on my laptop throughout the day, I have a best friend and we probably private message about 20 times a day on Facebook about something or other we have been best friends since we were 5 i am now 37, so over 30 years. Its boring girly chit chat about the kids, or what were doing etc..... Its just the norm for us.

Is she neglecting you??..... I could only see a problem if she was ignoring your needs, otherwise i cant see how this is a problem.

The only worry if any, would be the slyness of it, why would she be hiding the messages, and i would want to be certain it was in fact her friend and not a male.

I sit and message to my friend with my husband sitting right next to me, so he could take a look if he wanted, but he would find it pretty boring... 

Why do you find this such a problem?.


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## Halifax101 (May 6, 2014)

Thanks for your honesty.

Its become a problem to me as they see each other every day at school drop off / pick up and 2 afternoons a week and even after they've been together they send texts throughout the night and it just makes me feel as though there's our conversation / life going on and running parallel she's having another conversation with her best mate....its the fact that there isn't a day that goes by without texts between them even when we're trying to spend quality family time at weekends or weekends away.

Is this the norm and therefore I should just back off or should I stand up for what I believe is affecting my marriage??

P.S. My wife is texting her best friend and not another male


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Halifax101 said:


> Thanks for your honesty.
> 
> Its become a problem to me as they see each other every day at school drop off / pick up and 2 afternoons a week and even after they've been together they send texts throughout the night and it just makes me feel as though there's our conversation / life going on and running parallel she's having another conversation with her best mate....its the fact that there isn't a day that goes by without texts between them even when we're trying to spend quality family time at weekends or weekends away.
> 
> ...


No worries..... Sounds like its a problem for you so that is the main thing, If my husband felt that it was becoming a problem then yes, I would respect that and cut the texts down.

If it is a problem for you, and it must be as you felt it was enough of a problem to start a thread on it, then i would have a chat with your wife, because if it is affecting the time your spending together, then yes i would let her know how i was feeling.

If my husband and I was away on a holiday etc this would be a totally different situation, i then would most definitely not be texting my friend.... My family always come first.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Maybe you shouldn't make it about her contact with her best friend but more about the lack of uninterrupted family time. It irritates me when DH is on his phone when we are spending time together, it doesn't matter if he's texting or checking emails or facebooking, I just find it rude.

If you could discuss how you feel like you need the uninterrupted time and could you agree to a 'no mobile/tablet/laptop/pc etc' period after say 7pm, and they are left alone on holidays. This is an agreement you would both have to abide by.


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