# not sure what to do for the best



## emmab (Jan 4, 2011)

i dont know where to start but i dont know what to do for the best and i need so advice. i don;t really have anyone to talk to about this in real life as i don't want to tell anyone but its starting to eat me up now and get me down

Ive been dating this guy for 7 years, about a month ago he started talking to this women on twitter i didnt think anything of it to start of with. but in the pass few weeks i noticed she now friends with on facebook, and hes got her number and she been emailing him, tbh twitter was fine but facebook, number ect doesnt add up to me, also he works lates and she been staying up till the time he comes home, as everynight at the times he finishes work which is in the early hours of the morning she says something like night twitter, so she must only be staying up to talk to him. i looked back at her twitter and she used to go to bed a normal time before he added her on facebook. anyhow ive checked his call log on his phone and i know she spoken to him a bit while at work, and even on xmas day. he's been clearing his call logs alot to. i know that she married and has two kids i worked this out from twitter, anyhow i checked his email on his phone while in the shower the other day and he's be emailing her alot. also now 

she said wow your fiance a b**** and its frustating that i cant talk to or see you. plus loads more. i can tell that she falling for him and i guess he has back if he;s emailing her, there using email to talk when the time im with him when they cant talk 

the thing is i cant live like this anymore but i know that she lives over 300 miles away i know she 13+ years older than him i know she has a couple of kids,
but i cant let this hurt me anymore and its it getting to that point.

but i know as soon as i say something its going to be over between us, me going through his phone! checking his email but i knew there was something going on i see him check his email and dm on twitter and delete them quick but i see them

so i dont know what to do? do i live with this going and hope that it finishes soon i know he hasnt met her as he hasnt been any where far. and let myself get hurt even more. 
or if i say something i know for a fact it will be over but i dont think i can carry on hurting inside


i just need some advice as i havent really got anyone that i can talk to about this i dont want to tell any friends ect 

nothing like this has ever happened before, so its so hard for me and i gues i have been with him all of my adult life

thank you for taking the time to read


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

If you were to confront him with what you know, there is NOTHING that says you have to tell him how you found out. If he knows for sure how you did, you could tell him that RIGHT NOW you're discussing his relationship with this woman...how you found out is a topic for another time. That's if you confront him.
He's having what sounds like an emotional affair with this woman. That can be just as devastating (some people on affair support forums swear it's worse) as a physical one. I guess I would ask you what do you WANT to do? What would you tell someone else in your situation?


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

I'd confront him!!! What do you have to lose? Who cares what his response will be for your snooping. ITs cause and and effect... his actions caused you to snoop. 

Right now he is talking grimey about you to this woman, thus she has a negative viewpoint on here. He is at the EA stage, you wait and you know where this is going. She may have too much to lose by leaving her family for your BF, but that doesn't stop her from giving him a BJ in the backseat when they meet up. Confront him, nip it in the bud early, and tell him no more communication with this guy.


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## AdrenalineJunkie (Dec 30, 2010)

I agree with Rob774. you should definitely confront him.
I also agree with major misfit that an emotional affair can be worse than a physical because I've been there. This is someone you are planning to marry and you need to be able to talk to him and trust him and he should feel the same about you. If you have issues now they are NOT going to get better after marriage. Believe me.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If you smell something that stinks, you find the cause so you can fix it or throw it out. You weren't looking because you were bored. You were looking because you had reason to believe something was up. Turns out you were correct. If chatting up another woman isn't a violation, then looking at his emails or cell phone shouldn't be, either. This woman referred to you as a "b%$&^" and he still talks to her??!! She also called you his "fiance'". Do you seriously want to marry a guy who would let someone call you that?


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