# In-laws and money issues



## time2stay (Jun 27, 2009)

I am not sure if I am being unreasonable, though I do not think so. My husband and I ran into trouble with money almost 2 years ago. His father helped us set up a budget and we had meetings with him to go over our money and learn to budget it (every week). This was supposed to be a temporary situation, but has continued until now. Recently I had a problem with gambling. I made it known to my husband, I had myself banned from the casino, but we had to use a credit card to get past the debt that I created. A couple of days ago my husband's father decided to check up on him by calling the credit card company and pretending to be him to get information about the card. I feel this was out of line. My husband told him this was out of line and his father said your just upset you got caught. GOT CAUGHT, my husband is 46 and I am 32 even if it was not the best solution, was it not our solution to make? Anyway I digress. Now he wants copies of our bank statements and copies of the credit card statements so that he can see what we spend and how we spend it and make sure that the numbers we give him for the budget are accurate. 

I say that is too much. I already resent the idea of meeting with him weekly to go over how we spend our money. That alone feels like to much to me, but I agreed because the money problems were mostly my fault even back then and this was my husband's solution. I have told my husband that I can't do this anymore. That he needs to tell his father that this is too much and that we can sit down together (my husband and I)weekly to do an accurate budget (to be honest the budget with his dad is not completely accurate because neither of us is comfortable sharing every single thing we spend money on with him) and that we no longer want or need his help. Do you think that was unreasonable, or is his father (and his mother thinks it was God that lead his father to call the credit card company) who are unreasonable. I feel like the situation has already caused me to have to divulge something that I am ashamed of (the gambling) with them when it is none of their business and that it needs to end now. Anyway I guess I am just looking for understanding, advice, or just to vent now sure. I don't want to hurt his parent's feelings, I do think they are trying to help, but enough is enough already


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Unless you owe him money or he co-signed a loan or used his house as collateral, it should be none of his business.

He did a good thing helping you get on a budget and you should thank him profusely for that, but at 46 and 32 you two should be independent of his help and sink/swim on your own.

Hubby has to put his foot down if dad has no financial risk.


----------



## Sixgunner (Mar 5, 2008)

You screwed up it's up to you to fix the problem. Tell pops to but out if you don't want the help.


----------

