# My husband is soooo



## luvinhim (Jun 25, 2014)

FREAKY/NASTY..at least to me.

Let me explain:

I made an agreement with my husband that I would lighten up
and let him try some new things in our sex life. I was a bit of a prude and told him I am interested in spicing things up a bit for him. I am totally satified with PIV, sometimes PIA and oral.

Well the new stuff he has brought to the table have left my mouth hanging wide open. I have tried these things and I acted enthusicatic and did not make him feel bad for wanting these things. 

Well I think it this continues it just get more and more freakier. It seems like he cannot get off with just the normal things anymore.

What should I do.. i am reaching my limit of the things I want 
to try with him.

I wish I could list them to see your response to them.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why not list them. With out knowing what freaky means in this situation, its hard advise beyond the generic "Don't do anything that freaks you out. He might leave you or be a pain to deal with after this. But I guess you need to be ready for that."


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Why not list them. With out knowing what freaky means in this situation, its hard advise beyond the generic "Don't do anything that freaks you out. He might leave you or be a pain to deal with after this. But I guess you need to be ready for that."


Yeah, what level of freaky are we talking about here? Leaving the lights on? Incorporating a goat, a garbage can, and a midget? Asphyxiation? Trying to think of freaky things but just coming up with the same old standard sex things.


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## luvinhim (Jun 25, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Why not list them. With out knowing what freaky means in this situation, its hard advise beyond the generic "Don't do anything that freaks you out. He might leave you or be a pain to deal with after this. But I guess you need to be ready for that."


okay here goes

1. the first thing we tried was me using a strap on with him. he loved it. freaked me out a little bit, but i was strangely turned on. it felt nasty and good at the same time

2. he asked me to toss his salad and i did. not something i would do on my own. not sure if i would do it again. he looooved it.

3. he ejaculated on my breast and licked it off

4. we had anal, he ejaculated on my butt and licked it off

5. i gave him a blow job to competion, he wanted me to put it in his mouth.. i did.

6. he asked me to wear a collar (not a dog collar) but it had a leash and crawl on my hand and knees and give him a blow job.. i did that one ( i actually liked that one a bit) maybe i like bondage not sure.

Im afraid of what he will think up next


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Tossing his salad and licking up his own semen and the strap-on all point towards him being homosexual. These are things I wouldn't want any part of as a heterosexual man.

But who knows. Maybe he doesn't like men and just likes these things. 

Be honest with him about what you like and don't like. I think you are great to be doing what he wants. But you don't HAVE to do anything! Make sure you have a SAFE word so he knows when to stop.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

He needs to care about your needs as well. Compromise is great and doing things just for your partner is nice too.but if it is making you uncomfortable he needs to know.

His fascination with anal, and receiving anal as well as swallowing his own sperm seems a little bit disturbing.

Does he still enjoy PIV?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You have to really think about this. What are you ok with and what you are not ok with. Don't do things you are not ok with.

I would think that "toss his salad" is a health risk. This like e.coli can be present.

Have you asked him to do any of these things? See if he will wear a dog collar and crawl on the floor and give you oral.

These sorts of thing need to go both ways. Perhaps you could think up some things and bring some things to the playing that you are ok with.

I would think that your husband watches porn because most men do and because of the things he's coming up with. Do you know what kind of porn he watches?


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## luvinhim (Jun 25, 2014)

My husband is open to anything I want him to do to my body. and yes he will wear a collar and crawl on the floor if i ask him. i just do not require those type of things.

I have often thought he as homosexual, but he is not just freaky as hell. he likes to do oral on me. he will lick up anything that comes out of me. i am a squirter sometimes and he looves it.

he is a equal opportunity sharer. whatever i want he will do.

i will talk to him about the things i am comfortable doing and see where it goes


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good eveninging luvinhim
Let him know what things you absolutely don't want to do, and what things you only want to do on rare occasions. 

If there are things you don't want to do - tell him know, but try not to freak out - its MUCH better to know his fantasies, than to have him hide them from you.

Try to find things that you enjoy that also play to his kinks. For example, it sounds like you kind of enjoyed using a strapon on him - so do that more often.

Take advantage of his willingness to do what you want. He has been very open with you - so don't be shy about telling him all the things you would like.

Its possible he is homosexual, but I think it is more likely that he is just submissive - all the things you describe can be viewed that way as well. 


I think one really important thing - don't worry about whether or not something is "normal". Decide what you do and don't enjoy, but as long as there are no significant health risks, do what you both want without worrying about how someone else might view it.

BTW - most men would not be comfortable enough with their partners to ask for these sorts of things. View it as a sign that he trusts you.


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## bubba29 (Feb 29, 2012)

luvinhim said:


> My husband is open to anything I want him to do to my body. and yes he will wear a collar and crawl on the floor if i ask him. i just do not require those type of things.
> 
> I have often thought he as homosexual, but he is not just freaky as hell. he likes to do oral on me. he will lick up anything that comes out of me. i am a squirter sometimes and he looves it.
> 
> ...


wow, seems like you two have a very adventurous sex life....good for you. communication is key to a successful marriage. talk to him about things. ask him where his new kinks are coming from. (i suspect watching porn or reading erotica) ask yourself why you are uncomfortable with his new requests. do you feel that your husband may want to have gay sex? if he said yes, would that bother you? if he just fantasized about it but didn't want to act it out in real life, would you be OK with fulfilling this fetish for him if you knew it was just a fantasy? 

a woman ****ing a man with a strap on is called pegging. it is becoming more popular. it doesn't mean a man is gay. google: "pegging no he's not gay"


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

luvinhim said:


> okay here goes
> 
> 1. the first thing we tried was me using a strap on with him. he loved it. freaked me out a little bit, but i was strangely turned on. it felt nasty and good at the same time
> 
> ...


I applaud you for trying these things with your husband. I do not think your husband is gay. I do think, as you say, he is freaky. But freaky is fine. In my opinion, what two married people do in bed together is OK so long as it does not hurt you and you accept it.

If you are worried that something is wrong with him, I would disagree. I think men and women have fantasies that they want to act out. Most never even talk to their mate for fear of being called freaky. I applaud your husband for having the courage to do those things with you.

Perhaps you can slow him down a bit so that you can catch your breath to see what you can accept and maybe things you cannot accept. Give it a little time. Things that you might dislike now, might get you hot, in time. Communicate with him calmly and tread slowly till you find a nice compromise.

Have fun!


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

luvinhim said:


> Well I think it this continues it just get more and more freakier. * It seems like he cannot get off with just the normal things anymore.*
> 
> What should I do.. i am reaching my limit of the things I want
> to try with him.


Have you suggested having sex without all the extra stuff? Does he refuse to do that? Or is he unable to orgasm without the kinkier activities? Does it absolutely have to be kinky, or is he willing to try it without the kinky stuff?

He might be developing a problem where the kind of sex you're having needs to constantly escalate in drama or he can't orgasm. We see that with porn, where people need more and more kinky stuff in order to even get turned on because they're watching too much and too often and need the ever-escalating stimulation.

If he won't or can't enjoy sex without all the extras, it might be time to talk with him about whether the kink has become a problem, especially if you have reached your limit on the kink. Sex is about you, too, not just him. 

You have a right to draw a line, or to just say no if you don't want to do something.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

SadSamIAm said:


> Tossing his salad and licking up his own semen and the strap-on all point towards him being homosexual. These are things I wouldn't want any part of as a heterosexual man...


These are not my turn on's, but they don't point toward any homosexuality, if he is doing them with his wife. That, in my opinion, is a red herring.



> ....Be honest with him about what you like and don't like. I think you are great to be doing what he wants. But you don't HAVE to do anything! Make sure you have a SAFE word so he knows when to stop


:iagree:

Also there are lists of "sexual activities" out there sometimes called "yes, no, maybe" lists you can both check independently and then share to see what you both might want to explore.

Another option is to work through say the Joy of Sex book.

Finally, why don't you tell him that you have been a good sport, but that you would like to have him do some of your fantasies and yours involve a nice straight laced married couple that includes only vanillia sex, while wearing 1950's style pajamas. See if that doesn't make him appreciate what you are trying.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Honestly it sounds like you were more or less ok with everything you've listed so far, and even liked a few of them. In fact, I wouldn't even see most of those things as being too "freaky" anyway. (Anal, collaring, etc.) Him wanting to lick/eat his own ejaculate is... interesting... but I don't know if I would say that this means he is gay/bisexual. Possible maybe.

As others have said, you just need to be honest with him about what you are and are not comfortable with. It's fantastic that you are having an open mind and willing to try some of these new things with/for your husband, and even better that you seem to be somewhat enjoying a few of them even. If he suggests something however that you just really absolutely cannot bring yourself to try even one time, then you just need to be up front with him about that. You've shown that you are willing to try new things, so it's ok to turn down a few ideas, it's not like you are saying no to everything after all.

One question I have is that your husband sounds to me like he uses porn. Is that accurate? One thing you said that really stands out to me is this line: "Well I think if this continues, it will just get more and more freakier. It seems like he cannot get off with just the normal things anymore." What you are describing here is a classic symptom and consequence of using porn, and probably having some degree of addiction to it. I could write pages about this topic, but in a nut shell it's important to know that porn is an aggressive addiction, and is progressive in terms of how it impacts the brain. Progressive in the sense that, just as you described, no one can be stimulated by the same interest/topic/theme/fantasy for very long before it needs to progress in another, typically more advanced direction. Often times the "freaky" interests are the products of years of porn use that has led them to needing to engage in such "freaky" scenarios in order to get off. That's because "vanilla" sex simply can't excite them anymore. When porn provides a limitless supply of various fantasies, sexual themes, genre's, people combinations, etc., a user can become bored very quickly with anything that's not "freaky" like that.

So while I think it's great when a spouse is willing to open up and try new things with/for their spouse, I have the same concerns that you seem to be having as well, that this might only be the beginning for you and as you progress, his interests and requests might become more and more extreme in time. All of this, I suspect, is driven primarily by porn use.


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## lesserhalf (Feb 14, 2015)

Well, I guess I am a minority in this thread. I personally don't understand sex without it nurturing the spirit. The whole point of it to me is to express love to one another and join two spirits in oneness. I guess there are different interpretations of this, but if it is only to satisfy lust, then I think the beauty of it is destroyed and we are only lowering ourselves into the mire of human degradation.


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

lesserhalf said:


> Well, I guess I am a minority in this thread. I personally don't understand sex without it nurturing the spirit. The whole point of it to me is to express love to one another and join two spirits in oneness. I guess there are different interpretations of this, but if it is only to satisfy lust, then I think the beauty of it is destroyed and we are only lowering ourselves into the mire of human degradation.


Have you considered that maybe what nurtures your spirit is drab pablum to someone else?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Nucking Futs said:


> Have you considered that maybe what nurtures your spirit is drab pablum to someone else?


Hey... Some of us are into spiritual lust! &#55357;&#56841;&#55357;&#56833;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

IMO, if there's something that you aren't comfy with then you do have a vice in this situation. I understand you want to pleas him but the door has to swing both ways and if you say no to something and he get pissed then let him


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## luvinhim (Jun 25, 2014)

Thanks you guys for all the input Just a little bit more information. 

My marriage was on the rocks. My husband wanted to leave me because of my low sex drive and boring sex life. I love my husband and wanted my marriage to get better. 

We have talked and one thing he mentioned is I never gave him
the freedom nor did I trust him enough to just have his way with me. (so i decided I would let him have his way with me, no matter what he asked for). 

I like the bondage, oral and strap on. I wait anxiously for what he has in store for me tonight (Valentines Day)


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Hope your marriage improves in a healthy fashion. Best wishes. You can and should contribute as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

luvinhim said:


> Thanks you guys for all the input Just a little bit more information.
> 
> My marriage was on the rocks. My husband wanted to leave me because of my low sex drive and boring sex life. I love my husband and wanted my marriage to get better.
> 
> ...


Great! Then what's the problem? Sounds like you just wanted an ....its OK to be kinky with your husband. And here it is.It not only OK its fantastic. Espically since you seen to like it and even aroused by it. Win win situation. Now go rock his kinky world.


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## Caribvistors (Jan 13, 2013)

As we all know, one of the most important things in a marriage is communication. The fact that you have opened up to be receptive to explore some of his kinks and are starting to enjoy most of them, has to bring great happiness to your husband. It is often very difficult for a husband to be honest about his sexual kinks to the person that is supposed to be his closest confidant in life.

In my opinion you are to be commended listening to him and for over coming your reluctance and to help him explore his hidden proclivities. So many other husbands live their entire lives unable to share fantasies with his wife, because he "knows or just feels" that his she will outright reject his overtures and he will then be humiliated. 

His interest in strap-on play and licking up his cum does not indicate he has homosexual tendencies, it is probably indicative that he is a submissive. If that is true then you will see him want to venture more deeply into this environment, which might prove to be great benefit for you.

What goes on between consenting men and woman in their bedroom is of no concern to anyone else, unless they wish to share some of the details. You are supposed to be having fun and pleasure together, so let him be your guide and enjoy your travels thru "fantasyland". If something comes up that you are not comfortable with, you do not have to do it, but look at what you have learned to enjoy so far.

I personally think if more wives were like you. open to discussing and exploring their husbands kinks, there would be less threads on the Infidelity page in this forum. 

Thank you for sharing.


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## luvinhim (Jun 25, 2014)

I personally think if more wives were like you. open to discussing and exploring their husbands kinks, there would be less threads on the Infidelity page in this forum. 

Thank you for sharing.[/QUOTE]

I almost lost my marriage so opening up and finally listening to my husband have saved my marriage.

Valentines Day was great. He was soft and slow and no new surprises. he just made sweet love to his wife and i am glad he has given me a chance to slow down and enjoy some vanilla sex--which i really love.

I hope everyone had a good Valentines Day


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## justastatistic (May 16, 2014)

Congratulations on embracing your marriage and his desires to experiment a bit. I agree with some others that he's not gay for liking some of these things, but probably has some submissive fantasies. Why not explore that with him? 

I think the best way to alleviate your concerns is to sit down at the kitchen table with him when you know you won't be disturbed and have a frank talk about what he likes, what you like (and didn't) and where you want to go from here. 

And since you both seem to enjoy both sides of the power exchange dynamic (you taking him with a strapon, him putting a collar and leash on you) you might try setting one night a month for you each to play the dom/domme and sub. In other words the second saturday he is your sub, the fourth saturday you are his. There is a great deal of excitement that can be built as you tease each other about what you are going to do to the other when it's "your turn."

Don't worry about what's "freaky". As long as it is enjoyable to you both, have fun. Just remember to communicate so that you are each having fun and not doing things that you don't enjoy or make you feel uncomfortable.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

SadSamIAm said:


> Tossing his salad and licking up his own semen and the strap-on all point towards him being homosexual.


If he was doing these things with a man you would have a point but since he's doing these things with a woman I'm missing it.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

luvinhim said:


> Thanks you guys for all the input Just a little bit more information.
> 
> My marriage was on the rocks. My husband wanted to leave me because of my low sex drive and boring sex life. I love my husband and wanted my marriage to get better.
> 
> ...


Wow, well, it sounds like this thread has actually ended with a positive, healthy conclusion. Good for you and your husband, and congrats!


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## Sleepsalonefl (Apr 28, 2014)

cdbaker said:


> One question I have is that your husband sounds to me like he uses porn. Is that accurate? One thing you said that really stands out to me is this line: "Well I think if this continues, it will just get more and more freakier. It seems like he cannot get off with just the normal things anymore." What you are describing here is a classic symptom and consequence of using porn, and probably having some degree of addiction to it. I could write pages about this topic, but in a nut shell it's important to know that porn is an aggressive addiction, and is progressive in terms of how it impacts the brain. Progressive in the sense that, just as you described, no one can be stimulated by the same interest/topic/theme/fantasy for very long before it needs to progress in another, typically more advanced direction. Often times the "freaky" interests are the products of years of porn use that has led them to needing to engage in such "freaky" scenarios in order to get off. That's because "vanilla" sex simply can't excite them anymore. When porn provides a limitless supply of various fantasies, sexual themes, genre's, people combinations, etc., a user can become bored very quickly with anything that's not "freaky" like that.
> 
> So while I think it's great when a spouse is willing to open up and try new things with/for their spouse, I have the same concerns that you seem to be having as well, that this might only be the beginning for you and as you progress, his interests and requests might become more and more extreme in time. All of this, I suspect, is driven primarily by porn use.


To OP:
What CDBAKER said is absolutely true. I strongly suspect that you have a very HD husband who married to an LD woman got heavily into porn ... and not that its your fault as his porn condition may or may not have been preexisting. As a married man, I went through a lot of mess due to porn and finally got through it and got the porn broken off my life. The change has been amazing and drastic for the better. My wife and I have been able to get together in "true intimacy" (probably what you call 'vanilla sex') and that sex has been amazing, mind blowing. My only complaint is I wish it were more frequent, she was less squeamish about fluids and initiated more. So that said he needs to get off the porn, and it will greatly help your marriage. I would have to write pages and pages about strategies and tactics to do so, but my generic advice is not to be confrontational or demanding, that may backfire. Due some research on your own on breaking porn addiction then come back here if you need more specific advice. 

Oh, and don't believe it's "occasional" use or "non-addicting". ALL porn use is addicting and leads to addiction, and frankly some studies have shown (and I personally believe) that it is MORE addicting than cocaine. Yeah there may exist some folks who can snort a line of coke at a party and not get addicted, and there may be some folks who can masturbate to porn once in a great while and not get addicted, but its extremely, extremely rare.

A lot of mess and crazy fantasies disappeared after giving up porn, and I've discovered something I didn't expect: some things absolutely did not go away, and apparently as far as I can tell, have nothing to do with porn, but are part of my (and my wife's) basic sexual interests. 

Interestingly, your husband sounds similar to me, and we regularly do most of the things he requested of you. And guess what-- I'm not gay, I'm not bisexual and I only want to do these things with my wife and no one else. I'm not into the dog collar/bondage/humiliation thing...but everything else? Yes, please. I regularly toss my wife's salad (pretty much every time we get together)...she loves it, and as far as being 'dangerous/unhealthy'...don't worry about it. The trick is wash up before switching back to vagina. As long as you're clean as possible, have good gut health (probiotics) and its only with each other, shouldn't problems. We've never had any issues. Consider have your DH try it on you...you may be surprised how good it is. 

Like your husband, I am completely comfortable with any fluids (sexual related anyway) that comes out of my wife and I will happily lick it up. I am also perfectly comfortable with fluids from my body. 

I ejaculate on her breasts and lick it off. Specifically like to have her ride me cowgirl while licking it up. If you were to initiate this with your hubby, be prepared, he will probably pass out. My wife seems to like this, but never requested it or initiated it. 

On the rare occasions she gets me to climax from a blowjob, I kiss her deeply while finishing her off missionary style... I think its super hot, though she's not crazy about it (for some reason she loves the BJ finish but not so much the kissing afterward, go figure...). This, I wish she would initiate. 

I ejaculate on her vagina and give her oral to completion. THIS, she requests and she seems to orgasm very hard when I do it. For variation, she will straddle my face and "rides" me until she finishes...and it is so hot (the dominance factor I think). We do this frequently, about 90% of the time we're together...then we continue with PIV and she comes again (hard)... and if I'm lucky and having a good day I come again too. Try this with your husband if you dare...it will blow his mind.

Even if she doesn't request it, none of the above seems to 'bother' my wife (who is somewhat conservative in her views), and has never lead her to question am I gay or bisexual. I completely understand many men think this is disgusting and gay...well, your entitled to your opinion, but it doesn't make a man gay. It's my stuff (and her stuff) and nobody's else's. Many men eat oysters and crawfish which I think are both completely disgusting and pointless, and all that proves is everybody's different. Your husband happens to be extremely comfortable with his and your sexuality. That's a good thing. Imagine if your husband found your squirting disgusting and didn't like it... 

Oh and we did try the strapon thing a couple times... I enjoyed it and it was super intense. Yeah, a bunch of dudes will call me gay...whatever. I'm not interested in sex with a dude, get over it. The strapon thing though did freak my wife out. Like you she 'strangely' enjoyed it, but did openly question me if I were secretly bi or something. We talked it out, and long story short, she just couldn't wrap her head around doing me with an object that reminded her of a penis (even though what we used was a generic dildo, not remotely realistic)...she wasn't comfortable with that, so we dropped it. I think she understands that part of the male body and the prostate are super sensitive and pleasurable. She's perfectly happy to use her fingers (which don't quite do it as their kinda sharp and bony). It does turn her on to dry hump me from behind (sometimes quite vigorously)...so who knows, maybe she's warming up to the idea again. I think the real issue for her is not the nature of the act itself, but where did it come from? Did it originate from outside the bedroom or from porn? If so, she wants nothing to do with it.

I suspect my wife can be a lot more wild if given room to run, but she is understandably very cautious because she doesn't want to bring anything even inadvertently into the bedroom from my porn days. And my wife expressed her concerns much the same as you-- If I do this (for example the strapon) what's next? What more crazy thing will he want to do, and if I refuse will he go elsewhere to do it? It's a very realistic and normal fear that you need to discuss with your husband. Its the reason I take things are HER speed, not mine. The thing is, if he gives up the porn and you two communicate, the kinky stuff will level off (some of it will become part of your 'normal' sex play and some of it will go away) and it will not progress ad infinitum.

So the good news is your husband is NOT secretly gay or bi, but the bad news is he has a porn addiction that needs to be dealt with. 

Hope this helps. Good luck, keep us posted.


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## LuvIsTuff (Feb 20, 2015)

Licking up his own mess???? I won't even kiss my wife after I've cum in her mouth(which unfortunately has been years since she let me do that). I'm nauseated at the thought.


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## hawkeye (Oct 6, 2012)

So apparently a lot of people need to research what a homosexual actually is. Because a man having sex with a woman ISN'T IT. Some weird, albeit predictable, responses. He's gay! He's addicted porn! Or maybe the dude just has some kinks that you don't share. Big effing deal.


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## leander99 (Feb 23, 2015)

Caribvistors said:


> As we all know, one of the most important things in a marriage is communication. The fact that you have opened up to be receptive to explore some of his kinks and are starting to enjoy most of them, has to bring great happiness to your husband. It is often very difficult for a husband to be honest about his sexual kinks to the person that is supposed to be his closest confidant in life.
> 
> In my opinion you are to be commended listening to him and for over coming your reluctance and to help him explore his hidden proclivities. So many other husbands live their entire lives unable to share fantasies with his wife, because he "knows or just feels" that his she will outright reject his overtures and he will then be humiliated.
> 
> ...



This post is dead on.
The part about him being submissive in particular seems correct.
I suspect he is the one who really wants to wear that collar.

Go explore his fantasies. Figure out your own fantasies, and see where they can be combined.

Also, next time, give him a serious stern slap on his but.
Does he turn away, or freeze in place, secretly wanting more?

If the latter, then you have an opening for having fun.
But *you* decide what happends next.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

LuvIsTuff said:


> Licking up his own mess???? I won't even kiss my wife after I've cum in her mouth(which unfortunately has been years since she let me do that). I'm nauseated at the thought.


Interesting. I have heard this from many men. They find the thought of tasting or swallowing semen sickening- yet women are supposed to just love the stuff.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

*LittleDeer* said:


> Interesting. I have heard this from many men. They find the thought of tasting or swallowing semen sickening- yet women are supposed to just love the stuff.


my experience is it tends to work both ways (women don't want to taste themselves after their man gives them oral......)


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## Marriedwithdogs (Jan 29, 2015)

Didn't read all the replies but what does "tossing salad" mean???


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Marriedwithdogs said:


> Didn't read all the replies but what does "tossing salad" mean???


i don't know either. someone explain to the non-enlightened.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

And here I always thought it meant mixing up the collard greens.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Someone once said to me; 'Nothing is kinky and anything goes providing you are BOTH happy and willing to do it'.

Some will say; 'providing its not against the law'...In the UK we still have some pretty ancient laws....one is that it is illegal for a man to have anal sex with a woman....another is that black London cabs must still carry a bale of hay in the boot (trunk).

The anal thing was brought in by Queen Victoria because she thought it disgusting...the bale of hay comes from when cabs were horse drawn.
Of course these laws are no longer enforced.....though I do recall asking a particularly obnoxious black cab driver to show me his bale of hay.....!!

So, if a couple enjoy and are happy to dress as apes and have anal sex (in private) whilst eating a banana or urinate over each other etc, then good luck to them!

I'd settle for a simple BJ! (dream on Askari!)


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