# Quick Question - what is most important to women?



## HereToCollaboratewithOthe (Sep 2, 2013)

Quick Question

What is most important to women in a man?

* Caring heart
* Listening ear
* Strong mind
* Hot body

sorry - this question probably does not make sense without context - but you here on this forum have helped me figure some things out and i am forever in your debt. again -sorry for no context, but thanks so much if you offer your thoughts -men and women.

I am just trying to figure this out and am failing.

thanks


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

If I have to pick from your list, it'd be a caring heart. If I could make my own choice, it'd be a strong work ethic.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

What is most important to your wife? That's all that matters. It will be different for every person.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Quick search of your previous threads
Be all those things.
But change "hot bod" to attractive. You can be attractive with a good self esteem, taking care of yourself and being a good husband.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

Integrity is the most important thing to me in a man. But if you're asking what is the most important thing in getting your woman to be sexually attracted to you, I consider a caring heart and listening ear to be the same thing and without those, a hot bod doesn't do you any good. However, if you are caring but aren't also sexually dynamic, you still aren't likely to get laid. 

Hot bod isn't really the thing - being just the right amount of sexually aggressive is. But if you are morbidly obese and just the right amount of sexually aggressive, also won't do you any good. Bottom line: you can't isolate them.


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> What is most important to your wife? That's all that matters. It will be different for every person.


:iagree:


Exactly.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

The first three are mandatory, the hot body isn't necessary. Nice, but definitely not necessary.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

You didn't mention coffee. Coffee is extremely important to my woman.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> You didn't mention coffee. Coffee is extremely important to my woman.


Well having just had my 2 morning coffees I will agree with this.

From your list OP I would not be able to pick just one, but I need a lot in a man and am not afraid to say so.

** Caring heart
* Listening ear
* Strong mind*

are all very important. As are well dressed, intelligent and a wicked sense of humor. Sexy body and a HD are very high on the list.
He also has to enjoy his work./career and earn good money.

Actually all of the above rate equally and are all must haves.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Your list encompasses these traits in my list. However, I will list the most important traits for me as follows (in descending order):

1. loyal
2. intelligent
3. ambitious
4. hard working
5. attractive
6. grateful

All these must be present, before I got serious with a guy. I also aspired to have the traits that I desired. I had many suitors in my youth and did not settle for less than my requirements. Thirty eight years later, I have not regretted this prerequisite. I'm happily married to a man ongoing for 35 years with the traits I've listed. Of course, there are additional traits that are positive additions to the above. To take from Star Trek, I want to "live long and prosper".


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

For clarification from my previous post, I dated my husband exclusively for three years (no living together arrangement), and married him after I graduated from college and got my first full-time job. I live my own requirements and expect the same of my husband. Mutual respect for each other is important for both of us.


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## MysticTeenager (Aug 13, 2013)

Probably caring. And I dont care if my guy has a nice buff body. It isnt a big deal to me.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Asking such a broad question with nothing to anchor it to something more specific will generate a broad array of answers. In other words generalities from which no conclusion can be drawn. As someone else replied - what counts is what is important to the woman in your life. All else is secondary.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

In many ways I can't help but feel your list is largely superfluous, for what matters most to one person may matter less to another.

Instead of thinking women can be pigeon holed into a set of likes and dislikes. I encourage you to pay attention to what that special woman and or women feel about this. Because all that should really matter to you is what matters to them, which in terms of gender preference will remain a moving target because we are all individuals.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

ConanHub said:


> You didn't mention coffee. Coffee is extremely important to my woman.


:iagree:
She's a keeper.


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

“Wommen desiren to have sovereyntee
As wel over hir housbond as hir love,
And for to been in maistrie hym above.”


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## HereToCollaboratewithOthe (Sep 2, 2013)

Thanks All for your replies

This is really helpful - and you are right - it was a general question to get grounded, and every woman is different.

Again - i appreciate you taking the time to reply and share your insight.

Much appreciated,

HTC


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## lovesmanis (Oct 9, 2014)

Loyalty, good with his hands, communication and being able to do $hit around the house.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

HereToCollaboratewithOthe said:


> Quick Question
> 
> What is most important to women in a man?
> 
> ...


Humans are too complex to put into these little boxes. That's why you feel like you are failing.

What I said about Dh when I first met him? He was patronising/arrogant. What he said about me? That I was the female version of him...

So what do I get out of that? To find a lifelong partner you need to look for someone who has very similar values to you. Maybe being arrogant isn't a great value, but hell, I still went out with him, and he with me and we're still married 10yrs later.

What do you need to do? Figure out what your own values are. You don't try to be what you hope someone else is looking for, you figure out who you are and look for someone who fits, otherwise, it's all based on a steaming pile of crap and one day you'll land face first in it.

Edited to add: but if you really wanted to pin point THE most important thing for me in a partner, intelligence.


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## Deep Down (Jun 21, 2014)

As you say, no context will reduce the usefulness of the answers, but for what its worth here are my thoughts.
* Caring heart - Yes obviously, although that could mean anything. My DH thinks he's caring sometimes but he's caring about what *he thinks* I want, without checking with me, so gets it wrong.
* Listening ear - most important, to really hear, and then understand what is being said is important. Asking questions is also good, to ensure that you really understand.
* Strong mind - Look honestly, above a certain level, it really doesn't matter, as long as the other things are there. All women are different but that's my thoughts. As long as you are OK with yourself, you're ok to me.
* Hot body - Ah - these come and go. My DH's body was really trim when he was cycling, then he smashed his elbow. When his body was trim, he started getting really vain, which annoyed me. Again above a certain level this isn't important.

As a summary of what I've written, brains and body are nothing to do with your intent, they are nouns, things. For me the intent, the caring heart and trying to listen and understand, the verbs are more important because they are things you are doing for your love.


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## HereToCollaboratewithOthe (Sep 2, 2013)

Thanks to all of you folks here - you speak the truth - i appreciate your honesty, your insight, your sharing your feelings, which are hard for us all, 

and most importantly, you telling me directly.

Much appreciate - god bless all of you - happy holidays.

Again, i am nothing but lucky to have a shot (even though we are anonymous) to learn from you.

Much appreciated,

HTC:iagree:


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

* Caring heart
* Listening ear
* Strong mind
* Thick ... wallet

Mostly kidding, but sometimes true. (Hey, someone had to say it!)


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