# Help!!! Totally confused by dis-respecting wife.



## techman12 (Nov 12, 2012)

We have been together for 14 years and about 1.5 married. I do not have to lift a finger at home unless I wish. That aside, something is very wrong.
About 3 years ago she really got on a bad trip about getting married. I even thought she was starting to cheat on me. I came home early once and when I walked into the room she was shocked and frantically stashed the lap top. Eventually she told me that it was an old friend who lives in a far away state that aside from the every now and then smooth line was harmless. I believe her but never thought she would lie to me, due to the fact that I had asked her before if she chatted or text with any men. And once, I got home at 7am, and was about to engage in some early morning sex, when her cell rang, I made her answer, and she was saying wrong number but she was shaking in her boots. Lies all lies. She finally gave me a lame story about someone who must have got her number from elsewhere. Lol

OK. My eyes are open, but I'm still in it. Things get better, I buy in with the "we've been together so long that it's embarrassing to not be married deal" and we do. All is good right?
Well, all of a sudden were at little leagu practices and every guy is always staring at me, but they look away when I look. Hmm. A day or two later, I realize that my much taller wife is always right behing me. I'm figuring something is going on behind my back. Where ever we go this is happening so I put it to the test.

I see some guys leaning on a car while on vacate in NY, when we get close she does her patented slow down which leaves me ahead. This time, there was a glass window I saw across from them which made me go that way. I see in the mirror her ogling them even to the point of lowering her glasses. I didn't say anything Thea's we were with the kids but later, of course she denies all.
This continues to happen. I thought she must be cheating. 
She was also mysteriously never at her desk at work and always had 4 hour meetings. Ood for the low girl on the totem. So after much arguing we did a 
POLYGRAPH!
She passes with flying colors!

But I know she is always looking at or communicating with men whenever she is behind me.
AND I AM NOT CRAZY!
On occasion a guy or two have even come up to her and I'm like WTF! I've even noticed her hide her wedding hand in her pocket at times. 
Of course she denies all this. 
Why would she do this if she's not cheating. She goes no where. But she is extra ordinarily beautiful. 
I've also heard her son telling her how he slows down to watch other chicks, while his gf is oblivious. So I'm pretty sure she bought into that. I just want to know why. Sex is great, she cums at least twice when it's good. And if she's not in the mood and just pleases me she doesn't fake.
What is her motivation for doing this to me? What should I do? Im almost to the point of turning around and smacking her!

HELP!


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

wow. Maybe she just likes attention. Who knows. But it sounds like you have a keeper there. I would just drop it.


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## techman12 (Nov 12, 2012)

It's very embarrassing. Makes me feel uneasy about everyone and going anywhere. I have always been a very confident person, but I now feel as if every male I encounter, friend or otherwise is getting the best of me. And or her.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

techman12 said:


> It's very embarrassing. Makes me feel uneasy about everyone and going anywhere. I have always been a very confident person, but I now feel as if every male I encounter, friend or otherwise is getting the best of me. And or her.


From now on, she walks in front.


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## techman12 (Nov 12, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> From now on, she walks in front.


Tried this. Just the other day I noticed she kept trying to get me to go first. I even said u go, ladies first. She went then, "ouch my leg hurts" , and she's behind me. I say to myself ok I'm gonna see if I'm tripping or not and just walk ahead. As we get through the crowd I see a tall football player looking dude looking directly behind me, but as if someone's mouthing or doing something. As we were going past I refused to go first saying oh lets just wait here knowing someone would have to go after the kids, who were told to go ahead. She got an attitude. I noticed that the guy had moved closer. When she went to walk by him he reached out and kind of helped her by. I think he expected her to stop or something. He sure didn't help any other women by. 
What am I missing here?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Just a thought, but why don't you try to get a micro-sized camera that you can point behind you while you walk in front of your wife. Then you might be able to get an idea of what she's doing behind your back. 

Or...you can confront her directly and if she starts calling you crazy then you stick to your guns and tell her "I've seen what you have been doing by using a mirror". Just realize that not only are your antics embarrassing me and making me look like a fool, but you look like idiot out in public. If you ever want to go out in public with me again, you and I will be walking side by side with our arms linked. Otherwise, we're at a cross roads where we need to sit down and decide if we want this marriage or if we need to divorce and move on. I cannot continue to be in a marriage where my spouse disrespects me behind my back and lies to my face about it. I can no longer trust you. How do you propose to rebuild my trust in you so that we can stay together?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Will she not let you walk beside her?

I don't know if something is going on or if your mind is playing tricks due to your insecurity.

I'm a very slow walker if I'm not using a wheelchair.(I have a neck injury). My husband is always by my side. I tell him to go forward and I'll catch up, instead he walks with me side by side. He's a runner and extremely athletic, so walking very slow at a turtles pace is not easy. I only can walk short distances though.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Amazon.com: Rear Mirror View Rearview Behind Spy Sunglasses Monitor: Toys & Games

Just because your wife ogles men and/or gets ogled by men doesn't mean she's cheating on you. However, her behavior is suspicious. I would start to monitor her. Put keylogger software on her computer. Put spyware on her phone. Put a voice-activated recorder in her car. See what she's up to.

Good luck.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

She's not only disrespecting you, she's mindf0cking you, on porpouse. It sounds passive agressive gaslighting.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Maybe you need to get one of those dog catcher nooses and force her walk infront of you...or at the very least but a leash on her. LOL

Sorry brother I know this is painful, and I hope that my attempts to cheer you up a little work.

It sound s like your wife is really attractive, and I have had to deal witht he same crap. As of late I have started walking with my wife hand in hand and start to show more PDA.

Sure my wife has made a seen with these PDA attempt but once I start makinga bigger seen by throwing her over my shoulder she has learned to except the PDA.

My point is you are the man...her husband and maybe a little more assertion and dominace for whats yours is needed. Don't let her give you crap and the passive aggression isn't working so if she continues to disrespect you then it may be time to show others who she is really with by smiling and wrapping your hand around her waist and lead her along. 

One way or another she will come along with you, something you may have to command.


I know this all sound over the top, but some times drastic maesures are needed in drastic times when it comes to protecting your marriage.


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## FryFish (Sep 18, 2012)

Im new but even I recognize an invasion of flucking trolls...


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## techman12 (Nov 12, 2012)

We talked and of course she claims innocent. I told her to quit it or I will not be the only one embarrassed. It will be me, her the kids and all looking like some fools. Now, she's like "when, give me an example". I said she doesn't need a f-ing example. It is what it is. 
We're going somewhere this weekend with a lot of people. I bet things will get interesting.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

It doesn't have to be interesting, but as long as you are consistant and command respect, it can be a turning point in the fact that what you do is also just as innocent......get it ?

Argueably 2 wrongs don't make it right, just like fighting fire with fire is one way the skin this cat.

My point is you diserve good things and it will always be her choice to respect you just like it will aways be your choice to tolorate it or not by leaving her at home this weekend. I'm sure that won't happen, but it might be time to show her what it will be like when your no longer around. I'm thinking 180 here!

I bet if you were doing the same crap your old lady was doing she would go ape sh!t crazy!


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