# Six year relationship going down the drain



## JustaRegDude (Nov 17, 2019)

Hello Everyone,

I require some advice and guidance here Because I am to the point where I am just ready to throw up my hands and quit on this relationship that I have spent six years building. My girlfriend and I are both the same age we are both 29 years old. I will fully admit I am not very good at communication and yet I work in a field in which communication is key as I am an ICU RN. I know I know then it should be easy to communicate with my significant other but it honestly isn't. Anyways sorry for rambling, but I am not good in going out and getting advice lol. My girlfriend has honestly lately started picking fights with me over some of the smallest things and then turn them into these massive blow out arguments. For instance, she will pick a fight over me sleeping a lot on my day off after working three twelve-hour shifts lately. I am always exhausted after working that much in a row and so I usually go home from work and just pass out and sleep for the next 12-15 hours. And Later when I wake up and she just straight up picking a fight with me over it. Saying how I am wasting time and that I don't love her because I rather sleep than spend time with her and all of this other petty crap. This coupled with just intimacy going down the drain well mine not her and she just isn't very understanding. Honestly before any of this started happening I was planning on proposing to her on our New years eve cruise we are supposed to be going on. I work in a pretty high-stress environment so coming home and getting nagged and then the next morning/afternoon getting yelled at and berated really doesn't make me want to stick with this relationship. I guess I am trying to figure out how I can fix something where I do not feel I have done anything wrong? On top of all of this, she has been pushing for us to start a family, and I am just over here thinking not in a million years will I get you pregnant not when you are being so petty towards me. Which I suppose is partly responsible for me pulling back instantly I don't want to have sex with someone who is berating me and picking fights with me ya know? But the other part of it is just honestly not in the mood just exhausted from work lately.


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## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

JustaRegDude:

Your are wise. Under no circumstances get her pregnant.

Six years are a lot, but this doesn't feel right.

Many times, the attitude she is showing is a red flag for infidelity. Check her phone bill for texts and calls to a single number.


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

JustaRegDude said:


> Hello Everyone,
> 
> I require some advice and guidance here Because I am to the point where I am just ready to throw up my hands and quit on this relationship that I have spent six years building.


Your first instinct may be the right one. 

I know that sounds flippant, but let's think this through. You're not even MARRIED yet. This is the time when people typically are doing their best to try to treat their partner right. Yet, instead, she's treating you badly. How do you think this will develop from this point on? Do you think it will improve, or will it likely get worse? (Hint: more often than not, the relationship deteriorates with time). 

Also, is she sympathetic to your physical exhaustion? Is she accommodating toward your health and fatigue? Or is she only thinking of herself? Is this the sort of selflessness one would expect from a loving spouse? 

Just think. You're at the point at which most people describe as the peak, the happiest time of their relationships. So what's next? It can only go downhill. Is this really what you want? If you knew that this was the peak, the best time of your relationship with her, would you continue with the relationship? I know I wouldn't.

It kinda sounds like me that you're a means to an end. It doesn't sound like she's in a relationship because she values YOU as an individual, a lover, a (potential) husband. It sounds more like you're her path to have a family. I was in a situation like that with my first wife/ex-wife. When I realized she didn't value me and that I was only a means to a family and a way of life, I knew I needed to end the marriage. I'm afraid you might end up that way too, if you persist witht this relationship.

I know this is going to sound sexist, but you're 29, and building a career. Your "eligibility" will only go up in the coming years. On the other hand, most women I know have a hard time facing 30. They feel that their "best years" (their words) are behind them, and they get increasingly anxious about starting a family. They feel that their looks will start declining. I know it's horrible that society puts so much emphasis on a woman's looks, but it does, and that's a reality that they have to face. Is it possible that this kind of anxiety is underlying her badgering you about starting a family? Sometimes that desperation causes them to force a relationship that really would be better off ended. 

The bottom line is that I don't see the kind of concern for your health and your needs that I think your girlfriend would exhibit if she was truly the woman you should marry. I think it will only get worse for you. She may even know it's not right, but is forcing the relationship out of a sense of a need to get married now.

I knew a psychiatrist once who said that he believed you marry the person you are seeing when you decide it's time to get married. Don't fall into that trap. Follow your gut instincts, like you posted above. Move on. I don't think she's right for you.


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## 23cm (Dec 3, 2016)

Not exactly the Queen of Empathy is she? If she’s like this now, what’s she going to be like when your feet are nailed to the floor by a wedding license and a kid? Run. Look up sunk cost fallacy...bail now or the six years will become 18 years in the 7th level of Hell. I know.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

I am in agreement of trusting your gut. If it feels wrong, and where there's smoke there's fire. When you can't see the forest, because of the trees. Or ask her what she would have you do to support her in the future. Does she want you and her just to barely get by? It's sounds like you are well into your trade to maybe one day become a charge nurse with greater responsibilities. Explain this to her be open and find out if this lifestyle will be a fit for her if not go your separate ways but above all be honest with her first. Then make your decision.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

You have a stressful difficult job and 12 hour shifts must be exhausting. Of course you need lots of sleep after that. If she cant see that and isn't at all sympathetic there is something very wrong with her. She sounds very selfish to be honest. 
You are not married and you are already having doubts, it will only get worse once you get married and have children. Go with your gut. Is this who you want to be with for the rest of your life? Someone who seems so unsupportive and uncaring?


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Bail out !!!!! Eject !!!!!! Eject !!!!!!

Wedding cake will multiply that nagging by a factor of 2 and a kid by a factor of 437.


Don't take the bait !!!!!!!!

I love my wife and we have always got along fine ...... and it can still be rough at times.


How would you like it if your job actually started getting affected by her mess ?

Dude ...... punt the ball.


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## Casual Observer (Sep 13, 2012)

Wolfman1968 said:


> I know this is going to sound sexist, but you're 29, and building a career. Your "eligibility" will only go up in the coming years. On the other hand, most women I know have a hard time facing 30. They feel that their "best years" (their words) are behind them, and they get increasingly anxious about starting a family. They feel that their looks will start declining. I know it's horrible that society puts so much emphasis on a woman's looks, but it does, and that's a reality that they have to face. Is it possible that this kind of anxiety is underlying her badgering you about starting a family? Sometimes that desperation causes them to force a relationship that really would be better off ended.


But couldn't what you described actually be the start of a framework of understanding what's going on with his GF? The assumption is that she's bat-s crazy, but maybe she's just stressed out and reacting badly for the reasons you stated. You're writing her off when it could be that she just needs to be listened to, find out what her real fears are, and maybe she's still marriage material after all, or maybe not. 

Six years is a lot to throw away without making sure that's the right decision. The fact that you _*can*_ throw it away doesn't mean you should. That New Years cruise is coming up way too soon to follow through on a marriage proposal, but doesn't necessarily have to be cancelled, especially if you can get a couples counseling session (or two) fit in beforehand.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*You've got a good head on your shoulders and a lot of common sense! I know that I would not want to be sexual with someone who berated me as such!

Ergo: This may be a "wake-up call!" Be extremely wary!*


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## aquarius1 (May 10, 2019)

Casual Observer said:


> But couldn't what you described actually be the start of a framework of understanding what's going on with his GF? The assumption is that she's bat-s crazy, but maybe she's just stressed out and reacting badly for the reasons you stated. You're writing her off when it could be that she just needs to be listened to, find out what her real fears are, and maybe she's still marriage material after all, or maybe not.
> 
> Six years is a lot to throw away without making sure that's the right decision. The fact that you _*can*_ throw it away doesn't mean you should. That New Years cruise is coming up way too soon to follow through on a marriage proposal, but doesn't necessarily have to be cancelled, especially if you can get a couples counseling session (or two) fit in beforehand.


Agree with your perspective. The one concern i have is “what’s going to happen when a baby is thrown into this situation?”
Babies stress marriages. Poor sleep, demands, etc can test a marriage.
I would definitely put off the proposal for now.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Communication in a relationship is nothing like communication on a job. And arguing over the smaller stuff can also usually be add on to more major issues. It is simply human nature to drag the minutiae into the larger argument, and then to only notice that as what's being complained about. If you think this might be a relationship worth saving then councelling might be needed. A marriage or relationship councilor can help you to more clearly express yourselves, and teach you how to listen as well. 

But one big thing that I see is that she knows what your job is. She has to know that this is going to be the normal. If she can't handle it, she need to get out for her own sake as well. She isn't necessarily the arsehole here. She has needs too, and they are as legitimate as your need for sleep. This simply may be that your lives are not as compatible as you two thought. And love does not enter into it. What good is love if you can't cohabitate?

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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I think you need to sit down and talk to her about this. Just because you can get out of the relationship relatively easily doesn't mean you should bail without seeing what's going on or trying to fix the issues. 

You're 29, been together for 6 years, have a good career, I'm guessing she's working as well, she wants to have kids, now you don't want to have sex, and you're communication isn't good. My first thought reading this was does she feel like the relationship is going nowhere. 

She could be frustrated because you won't commit. Have you seriously talked about proposing or marriage, and why you've waited this long? When you will be ready for kids? She could be acting like this because of that frustration and fear of wasted time. 

How much time do you spend together? Without being distracted by phones, tv, etc? That could be a factor in her frustration. 

Have a serious conversation with her. See what's going on. If you're going to stay together, or have a good relationship with someone else in the future, you need to improve your communication. 

Also, communication at work and at home/in a relationship are very different. My wife is a nurse as well and is totally different at work than outside of work. My job requires a lot of communication and problem solving, and that doesn't mean I have good communication at home.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

This nagging / petty fight issue will be 100x with kids. Some people are like this.

She is ok with putting you down to make herself feel good.

Does she have confidence issues? What is her mom like?

Probably has an overbearing mom and a pleaser father.

Thank your lucky stars that you waited long enough to find this out before marriage.

Bail out now. It sucks, but staying with someone like this will be a world of pain for eternity.

You only have one life, don't choose to be with someone you know has a problem. It will not get better, only worse.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Dude, with the information given it really sounds like this is a wake up call for how it will be if marry.

She won't change, and a baby will double any problems. 

Could be time to split.

To me yes, anyway.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

I get it, you need to let her know that at the current level of empathy she has for you right now isn't loving or kind and it's putting you in the position of the unknown of the relationship. I do find it odd that this is a issue right now. Why is that?

What was your past like and what has changed now, l know this isn't what you expect out of your relationship and ask her if this is something she can change her thoughts on. If f not you get it straight for the horses mouth as the saying goes if she is not and does not change put down the boundaries that you need to be in place. Do understand if you don't have a desire to change then don't put her through hell.

And let her go, yes it's that simple and it will be something you have to live with. Don't be cruel to her heart love her and change, or remain fixed only on you but you say you work 3 twelve he shifts how many days do you get off after that? Would it be too hard to stay up until the normal sleep time. Take a 5hr supplement they sell at all gas stations. To help you then you can put at least 8-9 hrs of normal night time sleep.

But maybe you haven't even thought of this, because of the lack of compromise both of you have.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

RN 12 hour shifts are brutal. I can't believe you are actually suggesting that after he gets off shift OP ingests something so he can stay awake even longer. Shame on you. 



Tilted 1 said:


> I get it, you need to let her know that at the current level of empathy she has for you right now isn't loving or kind and it's putting you in the position of the unknown of the relationship. I do find it odd that this is a issue right now. Why is that?
> 
> What was your past like and what has changed now, l know this isn't what you expect out of your relationship and ask her if this is something she can change her thoughts on. If f not you get it straight for the horses mouth as the saying goes if she is not and does not change put down the boundaries that you need to be in place. Do understand if you don't have a desire to change then don't put her through hell.
> 
> ...


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

Livvie said:


> RN 12 hour shifts are brutal. I can't believe you are actually suggesting that after he gets off shift OP ingests something so he can stay awake even longer. Shame on you.



A 12 hrs shift isn't that bad l worked those most of my life daily, and l chose to stay up and be with my wife and kids. So no l have no shame in what I stated. And he didn't say he worked 24 hrs he still sleeps in between so no if most men can do this so can he.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

And after my normal 12 hrs l mowed, played with the kids and wife, fixed things around the house, worked on cars cut wood for heating and attended my kids school programs and was a baseball coach and scoutmaster, showed my kids how to be self sufficient and learn things from me and Mom to apply to their lives. Helped out others in need went camping and drove back and forth to work from campsite up to 100,miles while the family enjoyed the outdoors . And so much more he isn't going to do anymore that what most men do to remain engaged to his loved ones.


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

bobert said:


> I think you need to sit down and talk to her about this. Just because you can get out of the relationship relatively easily doesn't mean you should bail without seeing what's going on or trying to fix the issues.
> 
> You're 29, been together for 6 years, have a good career, I'm guessing she's working as well, she wants to have kids, now you don't want to have sex, and you're communication isn't good. My first thought reading this was does she feel like the relationship is going nowhere.
> 
> ...


I've been bothered by the same things you were. She likely needs more attention. Do you get comp time off for the three 12-hour days you put in each week? If so, do you use that time to give her the attention she clearly wants? Think carefully before throwing what might be a wonderful relationship.


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## JustaRegDude (Nov 17, 2019)

I spend a lot of time with her when I am not working and when it isn't the day after I have finished three twelves in a row. I mean once I don't feel like giving up on life and just passing out per se I am pretty attentive to her at least I used to be before she decided to start pulling all of this on me. Now on my days off I just make excuses to get away from her so I don't have to fight with her over these issues. Yes, we have talked at length about marriage and she knows it is something we have planned on doing she just doesn't know that I am planning on proposing to her on this cruise. It isn't that this would be easy for me to end this relationship quite the contrary it is just with what is going on I do not know if it will be worth it to stick with a relationship that feels like will be nothing but arguments and fights. And we haven't gotten married yet not because I am not committed we just both wanted to take this slow and wanted to make sure this relationship would stand the test of time and no reason to jump into marriage these days either. I dunno if I will ever be ready to children if I am being honest and I have explained that to her but then again I don't know anyone who is one hundred percent ready for kids either. Anytime as of late that I try and sit down and talk with her it just ends up with both of us angry at one another and neither of us actually getting anything we wanted to express out in the open.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)




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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Well, you for sure cannot propose to her with the current state of your relationship. That would be a huge mistake. Work on getting these issues resolved FIRST. This must be your priority, or you are signing yourself up for a life of unhappiness and will have no one to blame but yourself. Maybe you two need to get into pre-marital counseling.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

3Xnocharm said:


> Maybe you two need to get into pre-marital counseling.


This is the time of the relationship that things should be the greatest. No stress of kids, her wanting to be on good behavior and get hitched.... If I were the pre-martial counselor, I would tell him to not marry anyone that needs relationship counseling before marriage.

I blew past such red flags and regret is common feeling for me. Get used to it if you proceed.

I wish I had been warned.


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Find someone that you love and that loves you. This doesn't sound like that person. The six years is a sunk cost, but don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

JustaRegDude said:


> I spend a lot of time with her when I am not working and when it isn't the day after I have finished three twelves in a row. I mean once I don't feel like giving up on life and just passing out per se I am pretty attentive to her at least I used to be before she decided to start pulling all of this on me. Now on my days off I just make excuses to get away from her so I don't have to fight with her over these issues. Yes, we have talked at length about marriage and she knows it is something we have planned on doing she just doesn't know that I am planning on proposing to her on this cruise. It isn't that this would be easy for me to end this relationship quite the contrary it is just with what is going on I do not know if it will be worth it to stick with a relationship that feels like will be nothing but arguments and fights. And we haven't gotten married yet not because I am not committed we just both wanted to take this slow and wanted to make sure this relationship would stand the test of time and no reason to jump into marriage these days either. I dunno if I will ever be ready to children if I am being honest and I have explained that to her but then again I don't know anyone who is one hundred percent ready for kids either. Anytime as of late that I try and sit down and talk with her it just ends up with both of us angry at one another and neither of us actually getting anything we wanted to express out in the open.


Well this puts things in a different perspective on just why you don't want to give her anymore of you. So it wasn't that you couldn't give her time after your shift but rather because she's demanding is why. If l werein your shoes lwould also not pursue and end it if l could come clean and tell her she ask too much. Thanks for correcting the issue.


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## a_new_me (Dec 27, 2012)

I read just you’re posts....no one else’s.

Do not have a child with her. You will in a couple years be paying child support up there.

Constant fighting is a huge sign....do not give in.

From what you have said, it seems like this relationship is a pass. Believe me. I can tell you stories....etc.

If she has issues with you working shifts like that, how is she going to deal with changing crappy diapers so you can sleep and go to work?

Darn, my ex is a 12 hour heavy shift worker 5-6 days a week. Imagine my hell trying to keep 3 kids , 35 months apart TOTAL in age, 2 AUTISTIC, QUIET so he could sleep.

Marriage killer there.

Do yourself a favour and just pass...if you need some support, you are more than welcome to come babysit at my place and get a dose of reality....I could use a vacation since I have not had more than 20 days to myself in 17 years  


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

3Xnocharm said:


> Well, you for sure cannot propose to her with the current state of your relationship. That would be a huge mistake. Work on getting these issues resolved FIRST. This must be your priority, or you are signing yourself up for a life of unhappiness and will have no one to blame but yourself. Maybe you two need to get into pre-marital counseling.


:iagree:
@JustaRegDude I would agree with the counselling idea. Especially as you are living as a couple, not just as fiances living in separate homes.


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

My husband works the morning shift. He wakes up at 2:45 am five days a week. He has to take a nap after work otherwise he falls asleep on the couch around dinner time. He also has a headache condition that wakes him up with a horrible migraine like headache every time he falls asleep (during his headache cycle.) In other words, he lives exhausted!!!

I try my best to let him rest whenever he can. 

Sometimes I work with nurses at the special care nursery at my local hospital. Their work could get stressful, they are always busy, on their feet most of their shift. I understand why you are tired.

How long have you had these issues? It's not like your girlfriend didn't know you were going to work long shifts. Can you tell when the arguments started? Are the arguments just related to the lack of attention she's not getting during those 12 hour shift days? 

I'm asking those questions because usually a healthy person doesn't just start arguing over night. I think her unhappiness has been building up for some time but she hasn't let you know about it. 

Does she have a social life outside your relationship?

I would try to talk to her and ask her (whithout yelling or raising your voice) what she wants out of this relationship. If she wants a life with you she has to understand that you are going to feel tired after working 3/12 hour shift in a row, and she has to do something on her own until you are rested and ready to spend time with her. If she doesn't understand that, then I don't think it's a good idea to marry her. Throwing a fit about this makes me think she's kind of immature or spoiled. 

Kids and exhaustion don't mix. My husband couldn't watch the kids, he was falling asleep as soon as he sat down on the couch. I was tired too, taking care of our kids 24/7 for weeks at a time, I was exhausted too! If you both are not ready for this, the exhaustion from work and kids, don't get married and don't have kids. 

Try to talk to her and maybe find a couples counseling session. Sometimes it's just a matter of miscommunication. Six years seems to be a long time but compared to an idea of living together for a lifetime, I think six years is a very short time. 

I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck!!


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

JustaRegDude said:


> Hello Everyone,
> 
> I require some advice and guidance here Because I am to the point where I am just ready to throw up my hands and quit on this relationship that I have spent six years building. My girlfriend and I are both the same age we are both 29 years old. I will fully admit I am not very good at communication and yet I work in a field in which communication is key as I am an ICU RN. I know I know then it should be easy to communicate with my significant other but it honestly isn't. Anyways sorry for rambling, but I am not good in going out and getting advice lol. My girlfriend has honestly lately started picking fights with me over some of the smallest things and then turn them into these massive blow out arguments. For instance, she will pick a fight over me sleeping a lot on my day off after working three twelve-hour shifts lately. I am always exhausted after working that much in a row and so I usually go home from work and just pass out and sleep for the next 12-15 hours. And Later when I wake up and she just straight up picking a fight with me over it. Saying how I am wasting time and that I don't love her because I rather sleep than spend time with her and all of this other petty crap. This coupled with just intimacy going down the drain well mine not her and she just isn't very understanding. Honestly before any of this started happening I was planning on proposing to her on our New years eve cruise we are supposed to be going on. I work in a pretty high-stress environment so coming home and getting nagged and then the next morning/afternoon getting yelled at and berated really doesn't make me want to stick with this relationship. I guess I am trying to figure out how I can fix something where I do not feel I have done anything wrong? On top of all of this, she has been pushing for us to start a family, and I am just over here thinking not in a million years will I get you pregnant not when you are being so petty towards me. Which I suppose is partly responsible for me pulling back instantly I don't want to have sex with someone who is berating me and picking fights with me ya know? But the other part of it is just honestly not in the mood just exhausted from work lately.



I get all of the tired from long hours etc. It appears your GF is suffering the consequences. I'm surprised your GF is looking to marry and have children when it appears you are married to the job. 

Get un-exhausted and put your GF front and center. Not the job.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

It sounds like it might be time for a heart-to-heart with her. Sit down and calmly ask if there’s anything going on with her, is she alright, is there anything you can do to help. Maybe there’s something that’s really bothering her and she’s taking it out on you. If this is the case, her course of action is all kinds of wrong, but it’s worth a talk. If it’s something that you guys can work through, then great! If it’s not, then you will have a decision to make.

I was in a marriage like this once; my XH picked me apart a lot and he tore me down. I couldn’t do anything right, and it took its toll eventually. You can only get picked apart so much before you give up even trying. You’re 29, you sound grounded and you have a good career; you deserve more than what she’s offering you at this time.

Step #1 though: talk it through with her.

Oh, and you have the right idea: don’t get her pregnant at this time.


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## JustaRegDude (Nov 17, 2019)

Sorry, it has taken a bit for me to get back to this being at work the past few days so I finally woke up earlier and my girlfriend was at work today so I was able to wake up and go take a shower ext and go work out. Well, an hour or two at the gym and she calls me and is crying and asking where I am and I am like I am at the gym I thought you were working tonight until like six tonight anyways. And I asked what was wrong and she just essentially blurts out asking if I am cheating on her. Like how does a chick whom I have been with for six years straight how can she possibly think I am cheating on her. Anyways I calmly tell her baby nowhere are you even getting this from? And then she points out our sex life or lack thereof as of late and just generally my lack of affection and I just tell her to go back to work stop worrying and we will talk when you get home tonight. Sorry for rambling just rather taken aback with this I wouldn't ever cheat and I rather end a relationship than ever cheat on someone? Well, girlfriend and I sat down and talked for a bit tonight and I explained why things are how they currently as of now. And how her just general lack of empathy and just nagging and starting fights when I am exhausted doesn't make me want to even remotely be intimate and loving towards her ext. And She broke down and still feels as if I am still cheating and that she wants proof? And I was like how am I gonna be able to prove that to you? I mean I am more than willing to let you look through my phone and laptop ext. And she said that wasn't enough. So I just threw up my hands and walked away I dunno what she wants from me right now or even how to prove to her my loyalty and why I should even have to prove such a thing to her.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Or maybe while you are busy working all those hours, she is busy with someone else. Maybe thats why she is picking fights and putting you down. And she could be pointing the finger and saying you are cheating when it's really her.

After all she knew what your job was like for 6 years. Just something to think about.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Yes we have seen it here before the cheater projecting onto the loyal partner, so it’s not some crazy idea. I hope that isn’t it I. This case, but you never know. 

Has she been cheated on before?



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## JustaRegDude (Nov 17, 2019)

Sorry for not having responded in a while, I have been exhausted I worked on Thanksgiving through Sunday so that was fun well not really but it did irritate everyone from my family to her and she lost her mind on me over it. No she hasn't ever been cheated on, I have been cheated on though before so I know the signs or at least pretty sure I do and she doesn't really give off the signs but to be frank while she was at work I packed a suitcase and went to a hotel and have just been ignoring her the past few days. I need some time and space to think things through without her ragging on me. Not that it hasn't stopped her from blowing up my phone.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I only read your posts, due to time constraints. Sorry if I double suggest. 

She very well may just be feeling neglected. Have you always worked this much and had so little sex?

I get really crabby without sex. Being crabby then boils over and maybe that is where the treatment is coming from. Also, a man needing six years of living together before a marriage proposal would make me bonkers (I would never have stayed in that relationship). 

My suggestion before throwing away this 6 years is to start to treat her like you did early on. Cherish her, give her small tokens of love, cuddle her, have great sex with her. Do that for a month and see if she is still treating you the same way.


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## azimuth (May 15, 2018)

"I'm not cheating on you, but I'm going to check into a hotel for a few days and ignore you."

Gee, I wonder why she thinks you're cheating on her? Add that to the walking away during a discussion when she wanted to talk about the state of the relationship. You want out and you're hoping that she'll be the one to leave.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

azimuth said:


> "I'm not cheating on you, but I'm going to check into a hotel for a few days and ignore you."
> 
> Gee, I wonder why she thinks you're cheating on her? Add that to the walking away during a discussion when she wanted to talk about the state of the relationship. You want out and you're hoping that she'll be the one to leave.


Exactly what my dad did. 

When he was cheating on my mom.


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## Robert22205 (Jun 6, 2018)

How long have you guys been living together?

Why now? Is this a new job?

What does she do for a living? Is she financially dependent on you? 

Does she understand what you do? Has she ever visited the IC? 

Do her life goals include getting married and having kids? 
Has she discussed at what age she'd like to start a family?


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