# I think my husband is Gay



## BLUEVELVET (Aug 11, 2016)

Everything between my husband and i was going just great for the first 2 years. We were what other people would call "cute happy couple" we had a lovely boy and loved each other for as long as i can remember till he started working with this guy... The way he talks about him and the way he looks at him can't just be a friendly way. It's much more than that. After that everything changed, we turned into roommates, our sex life is dead or almost dead, he doesn't spend that much time with me anymore. You'd say i'm just jealous but believe me it's beyond jealousy
I tried talking to him about it, that i'd respect him, love him and support him if he is but he'd get mad tell me that it's not true, that i'm assuming that because i'm all into LGBT stuff all the time and leave. but he doesn't get that it's so obvious.

I really don't know what to do about it... :frown2:


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Why don't you deal with the stuff that you can prove, like the fact that your bedroom is dead.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

My first divorce was with a gay woman. Really, you'll need to research his stuff. Check phone records, texts emails...porn. Don't mention it to him again. Smile, but look as much as you can without him knowing so he can hide it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

You may well be right. 

what you know for sure is that he is ignoring you, and you have to make him understand that you are unwilling to spend your life that way.


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

The old saying is to 'TRUST YOUR GUT". Right now, your gut is telling you that at the LEAST your husband may be bisexual. Since based on the fact you have already approached him in a non judge mental way with no results, your options I think are limited to the following:

(1) as suggested, go into snooping mode. Even put a VAR in his car. Keylogger the computer. There are a lot of things you can try to do to get more information.
(2) force a confrontation and ask for a polygraph test to prove he is not having sex with anyone else.. Even if you have no intention of following through, his reaction will tell you something.
(3) tell him since he is no longer interested in you sexually that you are proposing an open marriage since you are not going to live like a nun the rest of your life. I guarantee you that will get his attention if nothing else. He will either be horrified and snap out of it, or he will come clean if there is anything going on. When a woman tells a man she is thinking of having sex with other men, if he does not react at all there is nothing to save.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You might want to put a VAR (voice activated recorder) in his car, hidden under the front seat or other some other place where he cannot see it. Use adhesive backed Velcro to keep it in place. 

Most people who cheat use their car as a private phone booth while they are driving around. See if you catch him on the phone taking about stuff that verifies an affair. IF you do, do not confront him right away. You need to put some thought into what you plan to do. You can come here and we will help you plan your next step if you find out anything.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I'd also advise making your almost dead sex life into 100% dead while you are snooping.

Consider two facts:
Cheaters rarely practice safe sex
Man with man is the most likely form of sex to transmit STI's.

You don't want to catch something that you will have lifelong and have to disclose to every future romantic partner.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

You treat this just the same as if you were suspecting him of cheating on you with another woman. It's no different, I MO. 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Well hopefully you find out what you want to happen is true. I'll be the lone voice in saying, he might not be gay and your own jealousy demons killed the bedroom. Let's not sit her and pretend cheating is the only scenario from the OP because guys always love to be emasculated with being called gay. Yes, it may be 2016, but the belief gay men are weak is still present in the male world. Yes, even though we have more and more proof it is not true. 
Follow the advice, I agree with most, but be sure you are ready for the consequences if it turn out he's just envious of the guy and not gay. Whatever you do, do not get caught snooping.


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