# To the macho men who get all the girls..



## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

Hey,

I've never really lived that much of a "single life". Nothing too exciting. I've had some fun, but nothing special. 

I'm in shape, 25 dress nice, make great money, have property, feel sexy, and blah blah blah... but I am also 5'5 and notice how very few women look at me, in comparison to my friends who are 5'8+.

It is a fact. Most women like taller men. That's cool with me. I've learned to accept it. Plus I rock. I can't complain about my dating life. It's better then most actually, but it's not as busy as I'd like it to be. I haven't really broken up with too many women, and generally speaking, the times I have, it was for the same reasons (she smokes, poor hygiene, too religious, conservative, etc...). but generally speaking, I feel like I'd sacrifice some of my own preferences if a woman was that smoking hot. Not a good thing, but nonetheless it's the thought that comes to mind. 

I'd ask my friends this but most of them are in longterm relationships, or not really into dating/casual encounters. 

I just need to know something. I know every situation is different, but I'd like to understand a few general reasons why so many guys break up with these gorgeous women. If it's not looks, what is it usually? 

1) What are your typical reasons for breakups?

2) How many women do you see on average per week? 

3) Do you live in a big city? 

(I guess this can go out to any man, but was hoping to get an answer from someone who dates/sees LOTS of women).


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

prag... this is like the third thread where you've mentioned your height and very consciously lay out your concerns about it.

Have you gone to counseling to try to deal with this? Until you accept your height, others won't either.

You are correct. MOST women like taller dudes. It's just a fact of life. But if you meet an awesome, petite, smallish gal, your height issues will all but disappear, IMHO.

I don't mean to be harsh. But seeing how the average woman is 5'4", there is nothing you can do about your height but accept it. I am guessing that you project your insecurities about your height to the women you are interested in.

You seem like a nice, respectable guy. Never, EVER apologize for your God-given attributes.

I think counseling would be immensely helpful.


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

I know it seems like I might be projecting my insecurities towards women, but I really don't. I've had my lady friends confirm this. How does that look like? I don't know... Maybe you are right and they are wrong. No idea dude. 
I just don't bother with women taller then me and the thought never comes across my mind. Yes, they dissapear like you said. 

But just because I've accepted it doesn't mean it doesn't bug me. I obviously can't change that fact, but I can definitely move somewhere else where statistically speaking there are more people my size. I still think there are things I can do to increase my chances. Maybe I am wrong? 

I got bugged a lot as a kid about my height. I got over it though. 
Fast forward to the divorce, ex-wife said she left me because I was short. She said she wished she could put her head on my chest and didn't have to feel awkward in public when she was wearing heels. So obviously that re-opened some wounds.

But that's not the topic of today. I just thought it was relevant to mention. 

Counselling is useless. How does that make you feel? Well, it makes me feel like killing all the tall people. Lol. Duhhhhh. Yes I have done counselling. Just a waste of time and money. Waiting to go to south america to meet a shaman in September. 

Stick to the topic sorry. I guess I can take that crap out if it distracts people. I'm pretty detailed oriented, so for me everything matters.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I had a friend, "Ted" who seemed to have a magical way with women. anytime I saw him in public it seemed he was happily chatting with some woman, her smiling and chatting back. 

He was average height. Modestly overweight. Not wealthy. But even my wife saw it - said there was just something about him.

I watched and studied. He was outgoing and happy. He wasn't trying to pick up women, he was just clearly enjoying talking to them - it was somehow clear that there was no ulterior motive.

I've largely learned to do the same (though I don't compare to the master). Its nice talking with people and I've learned to do it. I suppose I could pick up some of them, but that isn't the point.

Physical appearance is only one part of being attractive to women. Even if you are not a stunning physical sample, you can still work on the other things.


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## Tubbalard (Feb 8, 2015)

The typical reasons for breakups is that you've simply had your fill and want something new and fresh. It's like with anything in life...You experience it but then you want to move on to something else.

Gorgeous women, good looking women, ugly women are essentially all the same...They're human...Physical factors don't take away that they're infallible. Gorgeous woman just like average women have the same faults..like average women, gorgeous women smoke, bad hygiene, combative, unambitious.

A man should NEVER sacrifice his principles just because a woman is gorgeous or smoking hot. Do you want a woman for you, or are you looking for validation because of her looks?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

There's a guy I know with the nickname "Doc" because when he was single he saw more vaginas than a gynocologist! He is 5'5" or maybe even a bit shorter. His personality is big, he is funny, smart, and in more serious settings he is a really decent person.

And then there's the coworker who's 6'6". Nice guy, smart, good job. He has problems because women don't want to date someone so much taller than they are. He finds that women over 6' tall are the only ones who seem to ever be interested in dating.

We all have something imperfect about us, or different than we would like it to be. It just is what it is, so your choice is to not let it occupy space in your mind or to let it drag you down despite there being nothing you can do about it.

Btw, I'm of average height, trim athletic build. When I was single my love life was a lot worse than what yours sounds like, despite an excellent education etc.

Breakups? From serious relationships it was always the girl who dumped me.


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

Thanks Thor. Kind of the answer I was looking for.

Yeah. I don't know why it's been on my mind a lot lately but it has been. 

Only broke up with a couple girls in my life and that was because they were crazy. Been dumped the rest. 

I guess I am curious if guys who date more women lead more breakups, or if it is still the same on average.


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## wise (Sep 1, 2013)

I was doing this a little over 2 years ago before I actually did in fact settle down. 

(1) Breakups = I usually never took a girl back to my place due to a bad first experience with that. So I would go to their place where we would watch a movie and then f*ck. Anyways, breakups were easy because I would just never respond to their text messages or phone calls when I got bored of them. They had no idea were I lived so after they would resort to the "f*ck you" message after many ignores, it was over.

(2) Anywhere from 2-3. Usually, it was the same 2 or 3 at random times of the week. When I would drop one, I would replace the her with a girl I met out at night or a girl I was talking to on the internet. Internet girls were the easiest.

(3) Live in a big city

Although, I gave up that lifestyle. Takes a lot of energy and time; maybe even more than a simple relationship (unless your woman is crazy). And always, always, always, were a condom. If they are allergic, then leave as fast as possible.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Haven't seen your other posts, but be glad you are away from your ex wife. For her to tell you she is breaking up with you because of your height was cruel. And I assume you didn't shrink after the honeymoon 

Dating is 99% attitude and confidence. I was an introvert in HS and college. Barely dated. Not until I had a job in sales and had to change my outward attitude that I started getting a lot of interest from all types of women. A healthy paycheck always helps too. I'm still an introvert, but am able to adapt to professional or social situations as necessary.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

It's hard not to do it because all of us, men and women, can't help but compare ourselves with others. Nevertheless, living our life on our own terms and not on some preconceived life script that we must goose step to, should be our goal. We write our own life script, not others.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

act confident be engaging and take the red pill!


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

Thanks everyone.

Yeah I need to stop dwelling on what my ex said. 

I go through periods of not thinking about it at all, and the smallest thing might trigger it. Learning how to deal with my emotions in the moment instead of rugging them.

I really need to be more grateful and humble. I've had a lot of "luck". Perhaps I am just venting... 

I totally need to move to a big city.

Haven't had much sleep the past few weeks. I forget it makes me grumpy and moody.

You guys are great.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Be kind to yourself, pragmaster. You have been through a lot.

I have a nephew who is pretty small. But his wife adores him!

You just need to be yourself, and let the right match come along.


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## Brigit (Apr 28, 2015)

chillymorn said:


> act confident be engaging and take the red pill!



...OMG...First time I heard it suggested.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

To answer your OP. I have been with my wife since I was 20 but before, I was very young and foolish. I didn't realize exactly what I was doing and am now haunted by some of the hearts I broke.

I have already told you in another thread that your height is an issue but not insurmountable.

You sound pretty solid. Go with it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'm going to solve all your problems attracting women. You don't need to thank me. It's a service I'm happy to provide. Go see your nearest Army or Marine recruiter and explain your frustrations. They will take it from there. In two or three months, you'll be attracting women like an ice cream truck attracts kids.


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## FizzBomb (Dec 31, 2013)

pragmaster said:


> Hey,
> *I am also 5'5. Plus I rock*.




That was a very nasty thing for your ex wife to say to you. Keep working on focusing on all your good qualities and less on what you feel negative about.

There are a lot of women out there that like shorter men - I certainly do.

Take heart Pragmaster, you're lucky you weren't around in the 70's when that song "Short People" came out. I used to cringe when it came on the radio as I was always the shortest in my class.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You are only three inches shorter than Audie Murphy, the most highly decorated U.S. soldier of WWII (and quite a chick magnet).


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

unbelievable said:


> You are only three inches shorter than Audie Murphy, the most highly decorated U.S. soldier of WWII (and quite a chick magnet).


Haha sweet.

Actually dude, I have seriously debated joining the military. 

I love everything about it.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

pragmaster said:


> Haha sweet.
> 
> Actually dude, I have seriously debated joining the military.
> 
> I love everything about it.


What's not to love? You couldn't be more attractive to women if you dipped yourself in chocolate and got diamond sprinkles. It'd be like fishing with stink bait. Almost unfair.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Confidence is all you need my friend. I cleaned up when I was dating. Sometimes multiple dates a day and I did most all the breaking up.

Not rich
Not famous
Not above average looks


But confidence I have that a plenty so I never had an issue. I just lead with that.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

pragmaster said:


> Yeah I need to stop dwelling on what my ex said..


She probably said it to hurt you, not because it was true.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

happy as a clam said:


> But if you meet an awesome, petite, smallish gal, your height issues will all but disappear, IMHO.


Incorrect, if he meets an awesome, petite, smallish gal, her standards will most likely be 6ft+. It's the taller women, who are actually more accepting.

I know - as I'm short too. Well "medium" anyway at 5'11. As I go for long legs anyway, and let the petite girls go find their tower to climb, I never had a problem 



pragmaster said:


> I just need to know something. I know every situation is different, but I'd like to understand a few general reasons why so many guys break up with these gorgeous women. If it's not looks, what is it usually?
> 
> 1) What are your typical reasons for breakups?
> 
> ...


1) As I'm into the FWB scene, it's mostly due to emotional attachment that I do not want/am not ready for.

2) See as in... see? I see countless women everyday, minding their own business. But "seeing" as in dating? I'm only "seeing" two women at the moment. Actually, I'm dating one and the other is a FB 

3) Yes

Anyways I don't get what you are trying to ask =/


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

intheory said:


> Correct. The shorter, petite women are preferred by most men.


Which means more long legs for me!!! 
I only go for women 5'7+ (bare minimum) lol

Even that... seems to close alot of doors by itself  Most women aren't even that tall... still, I love long legs too much to let go of my standard.



> You aren't short or medium. I would say 5'10" and above is tall for a guy. There are a LOT of men between 5'4" - 5'7".





Personal said:


> :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
> That's not short!
> If you were 5'3" like me you could call yourself short!


I'm the shortest in my family, so I'll always feel short, plus my ex-wife with tall heels was taller than me lol
Anyway I'm not tall - I have been rejected for my height you know! I'm 1 inch from "tall"!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Tallest lady I've been with was 6'1, will never forget it! I don't know, I just find tall ladies so sexy for some reason, tis the legs! 

I'm just a leg man I guess...










I would be all over her!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Old man is 6'3, mum's 5'4, made me 5'11  No fair! If she be 5'5, maybe I would have grown that extra inch! lol

But oh well, some girls don't like that I'm short, tis ok, cause there's plenty who don't care, especially the girls I go for anyway (tall ones). So hey, pragmaster, start dating 'higher'


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Personal said:


> P.S. I can't recall ever being rejected for my height.


I've been rejected at 5'11, and you have never been rejected at 5'3, tis telling no?

So pragmaster - you have no excuse!!!


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

The whole point of the thread was for me to inquire about the success rate of men who are taller/bigger/macho in comparison to shorter men. Nevermind my problems for a second please!!!!

Obviously it's not all about size or stature. There is a basic biological phenomenon called natural selection and I am interested in hearing stories of men who have not only tested "that game", but abused it without a moral compass. I want to hear the stories of some players. Maybe it's the wrong forum for this. 

Where I live up here is a far different world then ANY OF YOU describe. It's remote, small, borderline *******/cowboy country. The majority of the people here are conservative, religious and are obsessed with their sports. Women up here (and I do not apologize for the generalization) are usually stuck up, self-centered or abused in some way. Their legs are closed so say to say. In sum, the dating scene is ****. I have had this confirmed by many friends (and they aren't players). I went to a big city last year for one week and my gosh the women were far more open to random sexual encounters. 

As for me, I am simply not interested in dating tall or taller women. It has nothing to do with self-esteem or confidence. I am not a fan of long legs. 

Part of me does actually agree that a man should be taller. It's drilled in my head. I don't think I can get it out. I'd like ideas, but for now I am more interested in hearing success stories of players. So yeah, what's it like?


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

pragmaster said:


> The whole point of the thread was for me to inquire about the success rate of men who are taller/bigger/macho in comparison to shorter men. Nevermind my problems for a second please!!!!
> 
> Obviously it's not all about size or stature. There is a basic biological phenomenon called natural selection and I am interested in hearing stories of men who have not only tested "that game", but abused it without a moral compass. I want to hear the stories of some players. Maybe it's the wrong forum for this.
> 
> ...



Not sure how to define "the player"

However, 5'10" since 17 (that was a lifetime ago, but shorter than the sought after 6'+). I don't really know how to rank myself on looks (let's just say I have a "good" personality... :rofl: )but I never felt uncomfortable around women. 

So back before I was married, I got dates but never had a gf (I was commitment phobic), I didn't make a fuss about whether there was some lady in my life. I occupied myself with other things. And, yes I was in the military but pretty sure that was not an attraction point. 

I think what many are trying to emphasize is that while society has an issue with height, there are lots of ladies out there not obsessed with it. If a woman has her preference for someone taller, she's not for you, no big deal. And, don't let it gnaw at you as there are plenty of women to choose from in the pool of eligible women. I have been turned down, I just moved on and didn't give a second thought, nor should you. I find it hard to believe even in ******* territory there is not a woman or even women who would find you attractive, don't sell all the ladies there short (excuse the pun).


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Old man is 6'3, mum's 5'4, made me 5'11  No fair! If she be 5'5, maybe I would have grown that extra inch! lol
> 
> But oh well, some girls don't like that I'm short, tis ok, cause there's plenty who don't care, especially the girls I go for anyway (tall ones). So hey, pragmaster, start dating 'higher'


 I don't know where you live but very rarely I heard about the hight issue regarding men. I am 5' 10" and I never said no to a man just because this, maybe if he had a problem with me wearing heels( because I love my heels) . To be honest I find quite hot to be a bit taller then my husband in killer heels. 

Don't ask way


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

pragmaster said:


> As for me, I am simply not interested in dating tall or taller women. It has nothing to do with self-esteem or confidence. I am not a fan of long legs.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMe_i8PcObI



Kristisha said:


> I don't know where you live but very rarely I heard about the hight issue regarding men. I am 5' 10" and I never said no to a man just because this


That's because you're tall


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

I am 6'1 and tall for an Indian guy. My wife is 5'4 and I like women in that height range. Not taller. Being an outlier for height does get me some looks from Indian gals, even married because their husbands are mostly around 5'9. There have also been some non-sexual comments from married ladies at parties about my height.

Height is fine, but in the end, personality and commonalities trump all else.


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

nirvana said:


> I am 6'1 and tall for an Indian guy. My wife is 5'4 and I like women in that height range. Not taller. Being an outlier for height does get me some looks from Indian gals, even married because their husbands are mostly around 5'9. There have also been some non-sexual comments from married ladies at parties about my height.
> 
> Height is fine, but in the end, personality and commonalities trump all else.



For sure. I agree 100% with everyone. 

When I posted the original thread the other day I was a little emotional, but I am rocking now and have a different opinion. Generally speaking, height isn't something that bothers me. I love myself and I wouldn't trade it for the world. But there are a lot of very shallow women out there, and to say that it's all on the men would be an ignorant statement. There are a lot of ****ty people out there. I am a little ruthless in my approach. As per Metallica, Kill em' All! Lol.

While often times I find I might be blocking opportunities by either looking away or just not giving certain people a chance, I am also cautious, and that's not a bad trait these days. Divorce has made me very cautious. 

As I stated in another thread, women in my city are extremely shallow. It's not just me. I've had this validated by other men AND women. 

Also, I don't know what age you guys are, but I am 26.
A lot of my generation has this "self-entitled" attitude. I don't know if you guys are aware, but it's a real thing. 

Anyways, thread can be closed. All is well. I think I need to be more humble. I have it pretty good as a matter of fact. I just hate wasting time on women. I guess you could call me impatient too 

The only "game" I know I need work on is approaching random people walking on the street. This is something I have great difficulty with, but it's not something that bothers me or makes me sad. I just never have anything to say or come to mind, part due because I really don't care. Sometimes I also find myself objectifying women, and maybe that is some energy they can sense which is an instant-deterrant.

Anywho, I can't to move out of this ****hole. Peace and love yall


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

eventually you will find someone who loves you for you someone who is attracted to you because of your size and you personality all rolled together.

accentuate the negatives. that way when some shows interest you know they really just think your hot!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"Although there is some truth in what unbelievable suggests (plenty of women do love a man in a uniform). I don't want you thinking this is universally true, I've known a few very fit short and tall servicemen who despite having the uniform have been complete failures when it comes to attracting women."

I was talking about American service members. I will concede that not all military types in the world are as in demand.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ey? Who doesn't look good in uniform?

Still remember ex-wife wearing her full gear whenever we played "superior officer", was hot!


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

pragmaster said:


> ...But there are a lot of very shallow women out there, and to say that it's all on the men would be an ignorant statement. There are a lot of ****ty people out there.* I am a little ruthless in my approach. As per Metallica, Kill em' All! Lol.*


I prefer the Dalai Lama's approach myself, and as to the "a lot of shallow women"....your point?



pragmaster said:


> Also, I don't know what age you guys are, but I am 26.
> A lot of my generation has this "self-entitled" attitude. I don't know if you guys are aware, but it's a real thing.


It is. My son is only 3 years older than you (I'm 55) and I see it. My son has a bit of that too, but he has been successful in the military and his current career as I do my best to help him make his career choices. He won't listen to me about his choices in mates...but does that come as any surprise to any parent?


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

pragmaster said:


> The whole point of the thread was for me to inquire about the success rate of men who are taller/bigger/macho in comparison to shorter men. Nevermind my problems for a second please!!!!
> 
> Obviously it's not all about size or stature. There is a basic biological phenomenon called natural selection and I am interested in hearing stories of men who have not only tested "that game", but abused it without a moral compass. I want to hear the stories of some players. Maybe it's the wrong forum for this.
> 
> ...



Dear Prag,

The problems you will encounter in relations in your life will not be about your height. They will probably be due to your obsessive way of thinking. Your mind will find always find an issue to delve into. Your mind is addicted to the hormones that come from obsessive thinking and give your brain an arousal effect....


So...change your direction of thought by investigating healthy and wise thoughts. 

Do that first, than think about relations later.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

pragmaster said:


> I am 5'5


Just explain to women that you are taller when you are laying on your back.




> 1) What are your typical reasons for breakups?


Once said to me by a good friend:

"No matter how hot she is, someone, somewhere, is tired of her $hit."


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

pragmaster said:


> For sure. I agree 100% with everyone.
> 
> When I posted the original thread the other day I was a little emotional, but I am rocking now and have a different opinion. Generally speaking, height isn't something that bothers me. I love myself and I wouldn't trade it for the world. But there are a lot of very shallow women out there, and to say that it's all on the men would be an ignorant statement. There are a lot of ****ty people out there. I am a little ruthless in my approach. As per Metallica, Kill em' All! Lol.
> 
> ...


Allow me to respectfully point out a few things that stood out to me that may be making it tough for you to pick up lots of women. 

One, that the fact that you won't date women taller than yourself puts you on even footing with the women who won't date shorter men. If you think they're shallow for wanting tall guys, then you're also shallow for wanting petite women. Your preference for petite women isn't any more righteous than a woman's preference for a tall man. I suggest you take the much healthier view that people have personal preferences. And that's okay. Even if their personal preference isn't you. 

Two, in case you may have missed it, not everyone in your generation has that self-entitled attitude. But I get the impression that you might, at least to some degree. Again, you aren't entitled to have the women you're attracted to find you attractive. Your attitude - they should want you, if they don't there's something wrong with them - is also a sort of entitlement. The women you find hot don't owe you reciprocal attraction. Sorry. 

Three, you say you don't want to waste time with women. That attitude is one that will act as a repellant to pretty much everyone. No one, male or female, really enjoys interacting with someone who's giving off the "this is a waste of my time" vibe. Most people can sense when someone they're interacting with is bored and impatient with them. Further, many people can tell when the person they're talking to thinks they're shallow and entitled. You may be projecting to the point that you're actually not fun/pleasant to be around. 

Look, I suppose it's possible that the entire female population of your city is shallow, entitled, snobby, and b!tchy. But consider that if you have problems with everyone you meet, the common denominator there is _you_. What are you doing that's putting women off?


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

i'm a short guy (5'-8").

i know there's more women than not who have passed me up for being short, but who cares? there have been more than enough women in my life who weren't seeking tall guys. I've actually met and dated several women who verbally said they like shorter guys.

life is a lottery. by that, i mean that you can only do so much to attract the right woman. If your goal is to 'score', then that's your thing and if you're taller, you bet your bottom dollar, your going to score more than a short dude.

but i was never looking to score. I watched a lot of my more 'confident' buddies flirt, throw out the one liners and score right and left. Most of these guys aren't any happier than the rest of us.

me? i got lucky, found the right gal, and that's all i care about


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

pragmaster said:


> 1) What are your typical reasons for breakups?


Desire for different frequency of interaction and independence. She's either too clingy or too aloof. Showing me too much interest or not enough.



pragmaster said:


> 2) How many women do you see on average per week?


See as in date? When I'm single, I'm talking to many but not "seeing" them. I flirt with everyone but I'm a serial dater - one woman, several dates, not enough there, move on, next woman... repeat. I'll rarely go back and forth.

Then there's women I'll party with and might hook up with but we know there's nothing more going on... just friends (sometimes exgfs).



pragmaster said:


> 3) Do you live in a big city?


Medium

I do well with women if having frequent dates, or sex, with the women I want is the measure, but TBH, it's too much hassle to go on multiple dates with a bunch of different women in a week. Too much of the conversation is the same, it's confusing, and it ends up taking longer to get to know someone. Plus, I've found it interferes with coming to like someone. Instead of choosing based on someone's merit, you're picking over high and low values of different things... "well, I like X more with Sarah, but I like Y more with Crystal". Then there's also a sense that while people tolerate doing so, they don't really want to hear/tell about it - sometimes leading to weird awkward turns in conversation. It all gets old.

Ain't nobody got time for that. I got sh*t to do.


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

Rowan said:


> Three, you say you don't want to waste time with women. That attitude is one that will act as a repellant to pretty much everyone. No one, male or female, really enjoys interacting with someone who's giving off the "this is a waste of my time" vibe. Most people can sense when someone they're interacting with is bored and impatient with them. Further, many people can tell when the person they're talking to thinks they're shallow and entitled. You may be projecting to the point that you're actually not fun/pleasant to be around.
> 
> Look, I suppose it's possible that the entire female population of your city is shallow, entitled, snobby, and b!tchy. But consider that if you have problems with everyone you meet, the common denominator there is _you_. What are you doing that's putting women off?


Hey man, thank you for your post. I think you hit the nail on the head.

I am over the height thing. It really isn't a big deal. I was emotional. Thank you. You're totally right in that I am hypocritical in those regards. 

You're right again. I totally give off that vibe. It's true. I get bored easily by everybody and I am really impatient. I have try real hard to not fidget and pace (even if calmly), although I am not anxious. Smoking marijuana doesn't help with that either. In terms of eye contact, hand shake and all the other social do's and don'ts, I excel without problems...but I know I still give off that vibe. Always looking at the clock or phone, rushing here and rushing there. I thought that was part of my personality once upon a time. 

And another issue....99% of the time I genuinely don't care about others until it's too late. I lack empathy. I've been like this for a long time. I could literally see a child crying and I might laugh. Not evil, nor twisted, but just don't really feel sympathy at all. How can I gain this? I wish I did. I learned from my divorce that I am not a good listener, so I am working on that too. 

Please, all tips are appreciated. I think we are getting closer to the root of the problem.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Do you think you may be on the autism spectrum? That is one thing to check into because if you are, it would explain a lot of things. Learning empathy is a big piece of the puzzle for people on the spectrum. It can be done. It takes time and effort.


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> Do you think you may be on the autism spectrum? That is one thing to check into because if you are, it would explain a lot of things. Learning empathy is a big piece of the puzzle for people on the spectrum. It can be done. It takes time and effort.


Oh I doubt that I am on that spectrum. 

I used to think I was a huge introvert, but I also like going out and social situations. I guess the personality test I took last said I am an "ambivert" with introvert tendencies. Lol. Maybe ADHD as I get distracted easily, but that is also what got me into meditation and I am aware and working on it. I can be ****, but definitely not an a$$hole. My friends say it's obvious when I am not listening. 

I don't know if it's just my personality and who I am....but I have always enjoyed crude and dark humor, at pretty much anybody's expense. Almost kind of twisted.

Have only really felt sympathy a handful of times in my life. I have felt empathy before, when a friend came in me in tears talking about her bf issues. I ended up crying too. 

I think I can feel empathy in certain situations or contexts, but not on a day-to-day basis. 

Kind of a strange wizard....


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

The empathy piece is a big clue. I would check into autism again. Another thought is a personality disorder. These are usually the cause of chronic lacking empathy. You can be very low on these spectrums and have a normal life and never know you meet the criteria for one of them....so I am not saying this means you are some extremely troubled person.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

My stepson is a high functioning autistic. He's in college and doing well. He's quite smart and to the "nonmedical" eye, he would just come across as being somewhat introverted and just a little bit lacking in "social graces", but otherwise...most people would not know he's autistic.


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

Oh for sure thanks.

Awwww but then I can't make fun of autists  

Yeahhh I went there...


I just hate people in general sometimes. Lol.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

And off he goes... to the next issue....


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

happy as a clam said:


> You are correct. MOST women like taller dudes. It's just a fact of life. But if you meet an awesome, petite, smallish gal, your height issues will all but disappear, IMHO.


Maybe most women, but in my case, I'm 6'4" and my wife preferred a man who was 5'7" when we were first dating. He had the bad-ass aggressive attitude and that trumps height.


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