# Why do you think she won't tell me if she is dating someone?



## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

This girl I went on one date with a couple of months ago stated she doesn't feel a romantic spark. So I agreed to be friends and we were supposed to meet saturday for brunch but I cancelled because I had to go deal with a situation at my apt

So I asked her when is she free again and she said not again until mid december??? So I was like......."wow you and that guy must love spending time with each other?" And she was like......"you are so silly" And then said it's not like that at all she has a lot of church and family events coming up


If we agreed to be friends why can't she tell me she is dating someone? I'm confused


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Maybe she isn't?


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Maybe she isn't?


It's just hard to believe because she is so damm good looking. Average girls have men coming at them all the time so I know she has to be dating someone.

I just want to know why is she keeping it a secret. wondering if she has changed her mind about me


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

she ain't interested in you pal. so whether she is dating or not and with whom is all beside the point. while it might be useful for future potential relationships to know why she has no romantic interest in you, that too is probably not worth spending much time dwelling on. move on to new dates with new people. better luck next time.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> It's just hard to believe because she is so damm good looking. Average girls have men coming at them all the time so I know she has to be dating someone.
> 
> I just want to know why is she keeping it a secret. wondering if she has changed her mind about me


She probably is still not interested in you romantically if she was not before, but is just a nice girl. Your fishing comment might have made her feel a bit uncomfortable. How would you have expected her to react??


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Maneo said:


> she ain't interested in you pal. so whether she is dating or not and with whom is all beside the point. while it might be useful for future potential relationships to know why she has no romantic interest in you, that too is probably not worth spending much time dwelling on. move on to new dates with new people. better luck next time.


But a girl who is interested would be like......."yeah I am dating this guy and we are going"

On top on her not telling me if she had a DUDE she was willing to see me face to face 3 days ago but I cancelled.

Confused Confused


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> She probably is still not interested in you romantically if she was not before, but is just a nice girl. Your fishing comment might have made her feel a bit uncomfortable. How would you have expected her to react??


Why would it make her uncomfortable if we supposed to be friends?


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> If we agreed to be friends why can't she tell me she is dating someone? I'm confused


Just because you agreed to be friends, doesn't mean you are actually friends. You went on one date; you barely know each other. Friendships develop over time, or not.

And she doesn't know if she can trust that you are actually a friend and actually want to get to know her better and become friends, or if you are one of those "friends" who pretends to be her friend, but really, you're just hanging around hoping she changes her mind about dating you. She won't talk to that kind of friend.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> Why would it make her uncomfortable if we supposed to be friends?


Because she knows you actually want to be more than friends and she doesn't, but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Because she knows you actually want to be more than friends and she doesn't, but she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.


Hurt my feelings? LOL. I'm a grown man


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

norajane said:


> Just because you agreed to be friends, doesn't mean you are actually friends. You went on one date; you barely know each other. Friendships develop over time, or not.
> 
> And she doesn't know if she can trust that you are actually a friend and actually want to get to know her better and become friends, or if you are one of those "friends" who pretends to be her friend, but really, you're just hanging around hoping she changes her mind about dating you. She won't talk to that kind of friend.




A friend of mine said I should have went out with her because it's good to be seen with a pretty woman in a public setting. I just wasn't feeling good. 

But I was open to friendship since it could have lead to me being introduced to one of her friends. It's just that she is acting weird every time I make reference to her dating someone.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

She probably got a dog....


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

When she said she is not available to December I was actually going to leave her alone because I thought she was making it clear that she is in a relationship and have no time for friends

But when she started saying "you are too funny" whenever I brought up her relationship I was confused because I thought she would she said YES I AM


I made reference to her having a man and she says......"it's not even like that"


Is that something you say to a platonic friend?


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

She could be dating someone else, but does not consider him a boyfriend could be why she told you it is not like that.

If you feel she does have a man, then leave her alone to be with him. If it is one of her friends you were hoping to be introduced to, then why do you care if she is dating???

we were supposed to meet saturday for brunch but I cancelled because I had to go deal with a situation at my apt
A friend of mine said I should have went out with her because it's good to be seen with a pretty woman in a public setting. I just wasn't feeling good. 

Which was it, had something to take care of or not feeling good is why you canceled on her? maybe she heard something different.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Lostme said:


> She could be dating someone else, but does not consider him a boyfriend could be why she told you it is not like that.
> 
> If you feel she does have a man, then leave her alone to be with him. If it is one of her friends you were hoping to be introduced to, then why do you care if she is dating???
> 
> ...



I don't care which is why I was confused as to why she never admitted to it. 

Sounds like she was giving me another shot on saturday and I cancelled like a mongo


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Just because a woman is above average in the looks department doesn't mean she has to be with a guy. Maybe she thinks all those guys hitting on her are pathetic immature boys and she's decided to wait for a real man to come along. Maybe she was a late bloomer and still has low self esteem. Maybe she's decided to concentrate on other aspects of her life.

Or maybe you should find a woman that's really into you to occupy your thoughts.


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

SMG15 said:


> I don't care which is why I was confused as to why she never admitted to it.


If *I* was her, and if *I* read everything you wrote her on this thread, I wouldn't even want you as a 'friend'. 

You are overly suspicious based on some superficial idea. 

You don't trust her even though she hasn't given you a reason not to trust her.

You were pressuring and fishing for her to admit something that she may have no reason to admit. 

You seem to believe that you are 'owed' details of her life.

You also seem to believe that being a 'friend' means that she's obligated to tell you EVERYTHING that's going on in her life, like she would, as if you have been friends for YEARS. 



> A friend of mine said I should have went out with her because it's good to be seen with a pretty woman in a public setting. I just wasn't feeling good.


The fact that you said early that the reason you canceled was because you had something to deal with at your apartment and NOW you're saying that you "didn't feel good" raises questions in my own mind. Can't you at least keep your story straight? 

Being seen with a pretty girl in public is NOT a good reason to go out with someone. 

The fact that you don't even see how clueless and immature your approach is, is scary in itself!


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Vega said:


> If *I* was her, and if *I* read everything you wrote her on this thread, I wouldn't even want you as a 'friend'.
> 
> You are overly suspicious based on some superficial idea.
> 
> ...


Well I have two female platonic friends who tell me about their boyfriends so that's why I was wondering what was up with her acting so silly.


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## Vega (Jan 8, 2013)

SMG15 said:


> Well I have two female platonic friends who tell me about their boyfriends so that's why I was wondering what was up with her acting so silly.


First of all, she's not acting "silly". As others have pointed out, she may very well not be dating ANYONE. But you refuse to see that.

Also, she doesn't know you all that well, and you probably know your platonic female friends for longer than a few hours.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

SMG15 said:


> I don't care which is why I was confused as to why she never admitted to it.
> 
> Sounds like she was giving me another shot on saturday and I cancelled like a mongo


If you are that interested in her, and have the ability to text, call, email then let her know that you would like to go out in December. If she is interested then she will respond and be up for it.

If you do get another chance I would not push her about whether or not she dating someone else and just enjoy the date. If you seem harassing she will never talk to you again.

Some people date others and are not exclusive and this could be her deal, that is if she is dating anyone. 

Good luck


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Lostme said:


> If you are that interested in her, and have the ability to text, call, email then let her know that you would like to go out in December. If she is interested then she will respond and be up for it.
> 
> If you do get another chance I would not push her about whether or not she dating someone else and just enjoy the date. If you seem harassing she will never talk to you again.
> 
> ...


Well so far she gets a kick out of it and says......"you are too funny"


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> Well so far she gets a kick out of it and says......"you are too funny"


Let me interpret. She doesn't mean she actually thinks you are funny. What she means is, "It's none of your business. Stop asking me about my personal life."


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

You cancelled on her. Since she doesn't know you very well, she does not know how legitimate your excuse was and whether you could have scheduled your issue so as not to interfere with the outing that you two already planned.

Some people do schedule others well into the future on purpose just as a reminder that their time is valuable too.

As far as your being friends with her, I don't think your offer is sincere with her -- even if you have other female friends.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Saying she wants to be friends is just a nice way to get out of seeing you anymore without hurting your feelings.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Apart from close friends, I never felt the need to discuss my dating life with others. Either accept her offer of friendship or move on. If you're very attracted to her, I'd be inclined to do the latter...


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

To answer your thread title - it's because it is none of your business. Don't interpret her answers/non-answers as an indication that she is interested in you. She's not. Stop obsessing over her.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> When she said she is not available to December I was actually going to leave her alone because I thought she was making it clear that she is in a relationship and have no time for friends
> 
> *But when she started saying "you are too funny" whenever I brought up her relationship I was confused because I thought she would she said YES I AM*
> 
> ...


:wtf:

You continue to see "clues" that a woman is interested in you, when there actually are none. Yes, "you are too funny" and "it's not even like that" are things one would say to a platonic friend. Or - as I suspect is the case here - to some guy who thinks you're closer friends than you actually are, is obviously interested in more than friendship, is asking inappropriate questions about your personal life, and is generally being creepy. But whom you are also a little afraid to provoke, for fear he'll go all stalker on you, so you avoid telling him it's none of his [email protected] business hoping he won't escalate. 

Dude. She thinks you're being inappropriate. You are.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

move on to someone who is interested. there are plenty of fish in the sea as they say.


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> If we agreed to be friends why can't she tell me she is dating someone? I'm confused


You know what a Plan B is? You're it.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

SMG15 said:


> This girl I went on one date with a couple of months ago stated she doesn't feel a romantic spark. So I agreed to be friends and we were supposed to meet saturday for brunch but I cancelled because I had to go deal with a situation at my apt
> 
> So I asked her when is she free again and she said not again until mid december??? So I was like......."wow you and that guy must love spending time with each other?" And she was like......"you are so silly" And then said it's not like that at all she has a lot of church and family events coming up
> 
> ...


Yes you are, you have been and continue to be. For what ever reason you lack the ability to interact socially, you misread comments, actions and body language. You project wild scenarios where there are none, you criticize and judge when you shouldn't. You over analyze every action or comment and imagine the worst possible scenario, or a fantasy type scenario.

Why can't you just believe her or understand that if she is dating someone she isn't comfortable talking about it with you. Just because you two are in friend mode doesn't mean you have to confess everything to each other. If you challenge what she tells you and push push push you will soon be in ex friend mode.


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## don_draper (Aug 18, 2015)

SMG15 said:


> So I asked her when is she free again and she said not again until mid december???


Anybody who says they aren't available for two months is full of sh!t. That's a pretty clear signal to move along. That neither a relationship or friendship worth developing...


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

well she told me last night she has been dating some guy for 3 months


So I was wrong.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I dont understand why you're fretting over it. I wouldnt waste any more time on her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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