# I believe I am loosing myself.



## Bullied (Sep 30, 2012)

My husband lost his job 3 years ago. It was easier for me to bush of his cruel statements to me when they were due to fatique. Now, his full time job seems to be playing World of Warcraft, watching porn and belittling me. My name has become "Stupid B" while he spends two hours spitting and yelling at me on how I am his tourmentor. He also has panic attacks so, he can only go roughly five miles from the house now. We sleep in separate bedrooms now and he expects me to service him everyday with sex and meals. He also keeps demanding I have another man in my bed with him and me. I REFUSED! At first, I thought he was doing this just ease his mind and somehow sickly clean the slate for his cheating on me. He claims the threesome request is because, it's all about me being pleasured and he wants to make me a more sexual person. I have recently lost my job so, it has escalated. He tells me I am the one that has to change. It was my fault I lost my job and it is my fault that we only have enough money to pay our bills for one month and we are about to lose our home. I managed to leave him for four days and he swore he would take daily meds, sale our house and move closer to my family and my leaving was in the past. Well, it's been 30 days and he is off the meds back to yelling and spitting on me. He claims that I am the one that still needs to change and that I was a "Sick B" for leaving him with his medical condition. He did attempt to hit and choke me before in the past but, I have combat training and he regretting attacking me. He hasn't done that anymore because, he said he felt remorse for striking me but, I believe he knows he can't beat me into submission. I told him he is sick and he needs daily meds. Yet all of is stress is due to me and I am to blame. At what time do you cut bait and run? I feel like an endentured servant and he tells me I should be remorseful.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

Why would you want to remain with someone as abusive as this?

How's your self-esteem?


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## Bullied (Sep 30, 2012)

As sad as it sounds. It was gradual then I started to believe I deserved it. I wanted to help him and now I believe I am an enabler. I feel trapped.


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## moocow (Sep 30, 2012)

I said the exact same words tonight to my mom... I feel trapped. 

Firstly, his riduculous verbal abuse has nothing to do with you. He is trying to bring you down to his level because he feels so little about himself. A man at home with no job and no desire to get a job is not the type of man you need in your life. And I use the word "man" loosely in this case.

I was also told today that I am the one who needed to apologise! I mean really!! I may not know much, but I do know that YOU are NOT to blame for this.

I would suggest you leave again. And this time, not for 4 days. Don't take his calls, don't let him visit. You just pack a bag and leave. YOu can decide on the amount of time once you are out. But don't contact him for at least a week.


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## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

You need some support to get out of this abusive relationship. Have you thought about counselling?

Get some support in place asap so that next time you don't end up going back and ending up in a pointless cycle.


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