# Separation and guilt



## mmzgirl (Jul 13, 2012)

Hello,
I have been married for 13 years and recently realized I fell out of love with my husband. He had been verbally abusive on and off through our marriage. I am a guidance counselor so I guess you could say I am very sensitive or maybe I'm just sensitive. He would become explosive about minor things and yell at me in front of the kids. We had been for couples counseling and he is now attending anger management counseling for himself. Now I just can't get the feelings back again that I once had for him. I keep feeling the only answer is separation or divorce. Since this realization I have had almost minute by minute anxiety attacks, the life literally has been sucked out of me. I had been working on a lifelong dream of becoming a licensed therapist and I am very close to achieving the dream. I think part of what happened is that I began to have much healthier self esteem and just didn't want to put up with it anymore. I feel so bad as I have 2 beautiful children who are very well adjusted and I am worried about them as well. I just wish I could get the feelings back. My husband blames me for all of this and wants me to tell the kids about the separation. I really believe in being honest so I can't stay in a loveless marriage as I feel I would be living a lie. He is currently in counseling for anger management, even though he is doing this, I find it hard to believe he will ever change. He was the love of my life and the pain runs very deep, strange I could be the one feeling this much pain, doesn't it seem like I might not care that much since I am the one talking about separation? Any feedback would be appreciated.
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## mmzgirl (Jul 13, 2012)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

mmzgirl said:


> Hello,
> I have been married for 13 years and recently realized I fell out of love with my husband. He had been verbally abusive on and off through our marriage. I am a guidance counselor so I guess you could say I am very sensitive or maybe I'm just sensitive. He would become explosive about minor things and yell at me in front of the kids. We had been for couples counseling and he is now attending anger management counseling for himself. Now I just can't get the feelings back again that I once had for him. I keep feeling the only answer is separation or divorce. Since this realization I have had almost minute by minute anxiety attacks, the life literally has been sucked out of me. I had been working on a lifelong dream of becoming a licensed therapist and I am very close to achieving the dream. I think part of what happened is that I began to have much healthier self esteem and just didn't want to put up with it anymore. I feel so bad as I have 2 beautiful children who are very well adjusted and I am worried about them as well. I just wish I could get the feelings back. My husband blames me for all of this and wants me to tell the kids about the separation. I really believe in being honest so I can't stay in a loveless marriage as I feel I would be living a lie. He is currently in counseling for anger management, even though he is doing this, I find it hard to believe he will ever change. He was the love of my life and the pain runs very deep, strange I could be the one feeling this much pain, doesn't it seem like I might not care that much since I am the one talking about separation? Any feedback would be appreciated.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Any improvement in his behavior since his counseling? Does he recognize that his temper demeaned you? Has he ever lost his temper, been impatient or otherwise used his temper against the children?


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