# Men, what do you prefer...



## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

I know every man is different but....
Men, What do you Prefer...
A little background on me, I am 5'1'' and used to be a competative cheerleader so I have a nice body frame but am still carrying a little extra baby weight but would like to get back to my 115 or at least 120 this year. I am definitely a very sexual person and like it at least once a day and love to change it up in the bedroom. I am looking for men's opinions because my goal is to be the most well-rounded and "optimum" wife I can be!

1. Sexual...How often? Who initiates (is the woman always initiating it overwhelming)? Different preferences in acts? 
2.Physical Appearance...What is the ideal woman? Do you prefer someone who eats healthy 24/7 or someone who is okay with fast food all the time? Is skinny best or well-toned? How "chubby" can a girl get until you become turned off? What about physical activity-workout all the time to get better all the time or someone who is just lightly active?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

No offense, but the questions are pointless. Everyone has different opinions, and none of us know what your husband would like. Talk to him. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

I think it's awesome that you want to be the "optimum" or "ideal' wife, but you need to realize this: every man is attracted to different things. There is no single "ideal." I mean, I would say most guys like a woman to be healthy and in shape, but some prefer very toned, while others like "a little meat on the bones." Some like curvy, some like skinny. I don't think you're going to find any answers by doing a survey. What does your husband like?


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

One other thing: your husband is a lucky man that you care this much about it! But don't drive yourself crazy trying to please him, that can lead to unhappiness.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

heyheyitschrish said:


> 1. Sexual...How often? Who initiates (is the woman always initiating it overwhelming)? Different preferences in acts?


IMO, the #1 trait in the bedroom is enthusiasm. The rest should be varied. You should initiate some, and he should. You should definitely mix up the positions, the locations, etc. But try to never lose your enthusiasm. Enthusiasm can cover for many other faults.



> 2.Physical Appearance...What is the ideal woman? Do you prefer someone who eats healthy 24/7 or someone who is okay with fast food all the time? Is skinny best or well-toned? How "chubby" can a girl get until you become turned off? What about physical activity-workout all the time to get better all the time or someone who is just lightly active?


This is more dependent on your husband. Some men prefer skinny over athletic. I'm guessing that your husband prefers athletic, since that is your body type. Few men prefer overweight women.

Also, I will refer to my point above. If you gain weight, but still rock your husband's world in the bedroom, he'll probably overlook the weight gain.

Good luck.


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## Code-Welder (Dec 17, 2012)

heyheyitschrish said:


> I know every man is different but....
> Men, What do you Prefer...
> How "chubby" can a girl get until you become turned off? What about physical activity-workout all the time to get better all the time or someone who is just lightly active?


Chubby as in having thunder thighs and a belly is a turn off for both men and women. Most men like their wives to seduce them from time to time. 

Not all men are the same it is nice that you are thinking of him and what he may like, what would you think it perfect for you?


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

I will say this: I don't think I would get turned off by a woman being "too in shape" unless she was severely muscular.


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

As I stated, I DEFINITELY KNOW that every man is different and prefers different things. I am looking for different answers! I am well aware, guys! My husband and I are very in-tune with eachother and I know exactly what he wants but I ALSO want to have variety and suprise for him in the bedroom, and I want to try things other guys would like and see if he likes it also. How can things be a suprise if I talk to him about them first? LOL As far as the physical appearance, I am a woman. Of course I would like to out-do all the other woman not only for my husband as his trophy but simply because woman love to be beautiful so I just wanted to know what different people interpret as beautiful physically. Definitely was not expecting all the "hate" from this! Thought it would actually be fun for people to be a little more light hearted on this website anyways. Thank you to the people who actually respond quality answers!


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

2ntnuf said:


> 5'1" and 115 or 120 is........oh yeah.....but, we are all human. As we age, things change. It's usually attractive to know a woman is working on herself if she feels the need, and more when it can be noticed it's working. If you were 175 or 180, that would be quite a bit of weight for your frame. It would be unhealthy, looking, in my opinion. I think that's the actual line that's crossed. Size of frame means quite a bit, when considering visual attraction. Firm and full-figured is sexy. It's not a turn-off. In larger frames, it's nice to have a little padding, in my opinion. A little.


I weighed 115 before the baby came so I am not sure if it is possible to be exactly that again so I am aiming for that range but I would be happy with 120. Thank you so much for your genuine reply-very helpful!!!


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

In my experience, the guidelines for "overweight" in BMI (Body Mass Index) are also pretty good guidelines for the range of most attractive types. Whenever my wife just stays within her healthy BMI, she is generally attractive whether more toward the thin or "soft" side of it. If she goes over it, that also tends to be where I start to notice an unsightly belly, etc., although it's not like I completely stop being attracted at that point.


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## kitty2013 (Dec 6, 2013)

heyheyitschrish said:


> I weighed 115 before the baby came so I am not sure if it is possible to be exactly that again so I am aiming for that range but I would be happy with 120. Thank you so much for your genuine reply-very helpful!!!


You are 5'1'', your ideal weight would be: 
Small frame: 106-118 lbs 
Medium frame: 115-129 lbs
Large frame: 125-140 lbs


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

> 1. Sexual...How often? Who initiates (is the woman always initiating it overwhelming)? Different preferences in acts?


If I had my choice, it would be every day or almost every day. Initiating is fine for either. I am basically willing to try just about anything. So, I wouldn't know all of my preferences until we have tried just about everything. I know what I like based on what I have done, but there are things that I haven't done that I may or may not like. So, be open and willing to try anything.



> Physical Appearance


This is where the variances will be great. I am definitely of the body builder build. I am 5'10 and 220 lbs and trying to get bigger. I would say for physical appearance, I am initially attracted to a very fit and firm women. Even the muscular body builder women don't turn me off, as long as they still have a female looking face. Many of the high level body builders have taken enough compounds that they have facial changes that I don't find attractive. Now, I will say that my wife is not currentlyt the petite, firm type woman. However, that does not mean I am less attracted to her. I still find my wife very physically attractive with the curves and all that comes with having children. So, that is why I say you will get the variances. I don't like obesity. I find that gross in a female.


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

Awesome!!! Thank you all for your replies!


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## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

Sexually, as may have been stated, your enthusiasm will trump anything else. A When it comes to initiating, both parties should take responsibility for keeping the spark alive. As for the diet / exercise question, yes, I think everyman loves when their SO is in great shape and takes take of herself. But, I would say leave yourself open for a trip to Wendy's every now and then. If you become a slave to your diet regiment you can become a drag to those around you. Moderation is obviously the key when it comes to eating crap every now and then. Just my 2 cents.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Sexually, I love it when she is rally into it and she is about 90% of the time. Since she has "responsive desire" (Google it) she rarely initiates. Then again, she rarely refuses so I have learned to accept it.

For me, I would love to be tied to the bed and teased mercilessly. I would love for her to take control. I while love for her to think up the wildest sexual thing and surprise me. I would love for her to come up to me and say, "I gotta have you NOW!"

For body type she is 5'2" and 100 lbs. I love it! By the way, she was 100 lbs 42 years ago when we met. She has weighed as much as 125, but that never affected my sexual desire for her.

Now, lest you think she is too thin, she has been on an elimination gluten free diet that has drastically improved her health. The side effect has been weight loss, but her weight has stabilized and she is under the strict care of a specialist.


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Be confident. Be sexy. Keep in shape with a toned body. I applaud you for trying to improve yourself. 

Every man will have their personal preferences....but we all like confidence in our women.


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## Quant (Jul 15, 2013)

Sex at least once a day is a must, my wife never has to initiate because I'm very aggressive and dominating sexually. Physically I expect my wife to be at her same weight if she gets pregnant and has a child 6 months after the child is born.My wife can be a maximum of 10 pounds overweight at any given time and I won't complain as long as I see she's working out.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

heyheyitschrish said:


> I know every man is different but....
> Men, What do you Prefer...
> A little background on me, I am 5'1'' and used to be a competative cheerleader so I have a nice body frame but am still carrying a little extra baby weight but would like to get back to my 115 or at least 120 this year. I am definitely a very sexual person and like it at least once a day and love to change it up in the bedroom. I am looking for men's opinions because my goal is to be the most well-rounded and "optimum" wife I can be!
> 
> ...



Being 5' 1" between 115 to 120 lbs is quite nice. Not skinny with some meat on the bones, which I consider sexy.

Initiating sex. Whoever is in the mood initiates sex. Could be hubby, or could be wifee. Whenever the mood strikes you, initiate because no one can read your mind.

How often. Depends on the hubby and wifee. If they're both LD, 1x week would be fine. If they're average drive, maybe 2 - 3x week. If they're HD, 4 - 7x week. You get the idea. Guys want sex almost all the time, quickie or long sessions. We are in the mood most of the time.

Eating. Having healthy meals 6 days per week and a 1 day eat anything cheat day is cool.

I like well toned with some meat on her bones and not the skinny types.

Exercise. Depends on the person. If you already have a high metabolism, maintenance exercise is all you need. If you have a slow metabolism, you need daily exercise to keep the metabolism up and fat off. Everyone is different.


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

heyheyitschrish said:


> *As far as the physical appearance, I am a woman. Of course I would like to out-do all the other woman not only for my husband as his trophy*


Not hating on you because as a straight woman I think it's natural to be curious what men find attractive - but the above statement irked me. Don't forget - eventually all trophy's gather dust on the shelf. And actively trying to "out-do" others is a turn off to most men as it reeks of insecurity. 

That said - I've had a few body types myself over the years - model thin, toned/athletic, and chubby. The guy I met who was bar none the best in the bed was during the chubby phase. He was quite handsome too. So there you go. 

Now that I've lost a bit of weight and have a flatter stomach yet round boobs/butt/thighs I seem to get more men hitting on me. When I was model thin I would get a lot of men who wanted to take me out but the sexual component was lacking. I think it was more of an "arm candy" thing than an "I'm genuinely attracted you" thing. I know that sounds crazy but has been my experience so far.


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## P51Geo1980 (Sep 25, 2013)

These responses are my preference. Not what's actually happening in my life right now.

1. Ideally 3 - 4 times per week. I don't mind initiating but would love for her to initiate once in a whole to. Acts - everything except anal and I love enthusiasm.

2. I do t really have an ideal. I'm ok with women who are skinny, athletic, or overweight (I don't like obese though). Prefer brunettes by a long shot but no opposed to other types. I'm very forgiving about body style and physical attributes. My STBXW is very beautiful physically, but in more important ways she isn't. For me, intelligence and drive are important. I like women who are driven and can't ever see myself attracted to someone who wants to be a SAHM. I'm in nursing school and am very seriously considering medical school so I'd prefer someone as intelligent and as ambitious as I am over physical beauty. As long as she's not obese or way way way below average I just don't care as much about it as other attributes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

heyheyitschrish said:


> I know every man is different but....
> Men, What do you Prefer...
> A little background on me, I am 5'1'' and used to be a competative cheerleader so I have a nice body frame but am still carrying a little extra baby weight but would like to get back to my 115 or at least 120 this year. I am definitely a very sexual person and like it at least once a day and love to change it up in the bedroom. I am looking for men's opinions because my goal is to be the most well-rounded and "optimum" wife I can be!
> 
> ...


1) Unsolicited BJs are a plus. They say you really care but should never replace 'real' sex if hubby wants it. If he wants a transition, allow it, otherwise it looks like you are just trying to get him off on the cheap. Cause BJs aren't bonding.

If you are going to turn me down, have a valid reason. "I am angry at you" is valid. "I'm too tired...but I'm going to watch television for another half an hour" isn't. What you REALLY mean is "I can't be bothered to have sex with you." I would also accept "I am really engrossed in (task, book, television program)" Men get like that too. BUT...a turn down more than twice is an issue. It means "I would RATHER be engrossed in...um...anything except you."

And by 'a woman initiates' that doesn't mean 'Oh...I flicked my hair at him and he JUST DOESN'T RESPOND! What is wrong with him?" It means 'put your panties on a dessert plate.' Men don't do hair flicks. BUT...suddenly showing up with a bustier and thigh highs when he isn't expecting it might REALLY put him on the spot. Women sometimes hate to be ambushed by sex. Men do too. Before you expend 'make up, outfit, and rose petal' effort, set the stage a little bit.

2) I don't care what you eat. I care what _I_ eat. Steak is good. Subs are good. What is even better is to KNOW what his favorites are. So please yourself with what you eat, but make sure I get what I like too.

3) Fit. Women don't work their backs and shoulders enough so they have a horrible posture. Don't be afraid of a little muscle. But chubby enough to have boobs. Fat looks better on muscle.

So now you would be perfect for ME.

Unfortunately, I'm married. Now find out what your HUSBAND wants...


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

I Notice The Details said:


> Be confident. Be sexy. Keep in shape with a toned body. I applaud you for trying to improve yourself.
> 
> Every man will have their personal preferences....but we all like confidence in our women.


Thank you for the praise! I am one of those women that is always working towards self-betterment. Not because I think where I am right now is bad, just because I think no one is perfect and we should always strive to be a better version of ourselves, not only physically but emotionally also!


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

bravenewworld said:


> "Not hating on you because as a straight woman I think it's natural to be curious what men find attractive - but the above statement irked me. Don't forget - eventually all trophy's gather dust on the shelf. And actively trying to "out-do" others is a turn off to most men as it reeks of insecurity."
> 
> I think my husband is always looking for me to better myself, in this thread I am talking about the physical aspect of it alone but I do other things to better myself at all. I have my flaws of course, and there are always going to be women more beautiful than me, but why not try to look my absolute best at all times? I see no harm in that! I definitely don't have problems reeking insecurity, I am without a doubt one of the most confident women I know. I think my husband appreciates me striving to be better.


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

P51Geo1980 said:


> These responses are my preference. Not what's actually happening in my life right now.
> 
> 1. Ideally 3 - 4 times per week. I don't mind initiating but would love for her to initiate once in a whole to. Acts - everything except anal and I love enthusiasm.
> 
> ...


I love your reply! I agree 100% that confidence and intelligence is a attribute most men find more attractive than physical beauty.


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

JCD said:


> 1) Unsolicited BJs are a plus. They say you really care but should never replace 'real' sex if hubby wants it. If he wants a transition, allow it, otherwise it looks like you are just trying to get him off on the cheap. Cause BJs aren't bonding.
> 
> If you are going to turn me down, have a valid reason. "I am angry at you" is valid. "I'm too tired...but I'm going to watch television for another half an hour" isn't. What you REALLY mean is "I can't be bothered to have sex with you." I would also accept "I am really engrossed in (task, book, television program)" Men get like that too. BUT...a turn down more than twice is an issue. It means "I would RATHER be engrossed in...um...anything except you."
> 
> ...


I love the thing about having a valid reason for turning you down, that is definitely good to know! Except I probably have turned down sex once or twice a year that is all, but it is nice to know to go about it better than "I'm just not into it right now". Thank you for the advice! I also like knowing the info about the initiating. Most of the time I am very aggressive and he knows but sometimes I will try the subtle approach also. Nice to know I need to stick to my aggressive ways!


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## heyheyitschrish (Jan 17, 2014)

Stonewall said:


> My wife is about 5-5 I would love love love for her to be about 135-140. Bone structure makes a difference though. Other than that, enthusiasm and energy is the main ingredient. A very close second is adventurousness. I would love for my wife to role play with me but she has to get into character as if she is playing a part in a play. Maybe a little S&M. Feedback is the key. I need feedback. In other words it is not good enough for me to know you will do whatever. I need to know that it is a fantasy you enjoy too. I only want to play the game that we both enjoy and in order to do that I need feedback. By feedback I mean positive feedback like " oh babe that sounds like fun, I want to do xyz too"! An answer like ok we can do that or a luke warm sounding ""yeah I would like that", would instantly turn me off.


Totally agree, feedback is VERY important! Not that this is happened to me yet, because I am very open and experiemental but for future reference because I am sure it will happen in the future...How do you handle something that either you/her does NOT want to do? How do you respond or how would you like her to decline without being a turn-off?


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