# Am I in the wrong?



## livemylife (May 26, 2012)

I'm separated and heading towards divorce. However, my STBXH and I still live under the same roof and for the most part we get along very well. We still hangout and put a lot of emphasis on maintaining our friendship for our kids. 

Am I wrong to believe that since we still live under the same roof and technically are still married that any outside love interest should not happen until we have physically separated and officially divorced. I believe this because it would avoid any further hurt or complication in the letting go process. 

My stbxh is involved in an EA and I had thought it was done months ago, but wow was I wrong. I found emails, texts and pictures and confronted him. Lies, lies, lies...came out of his mouth. 

So I decided to text the OW and laid it into her. I questioned her moral compass and compassion of another human being who is experiencing such pain and heartbreak. I asked her how would she feel if she was in my shoes?

No response (coward) and now I have to deal with my stbxh. He too is to blame for this mess. As I said to him, if we had just ended the marriage based on mutual respect and trust then I could have dealt with the end of our marriage and our friendship would not be in jeopardy. Now I'm full of anger and mistrust. 

So am I in the wrong to expect no outside interference while separated? Or once you are separated anything goes. 

Thank you for allowing me to vent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

I assume your hubby initiated the divorce ?? Which is understandable you are hurt. Almost like he is rubbing in your face. I don't think you should concentrate on who he is talking too etc as the marriage is over at this point. It might be different if he brought someone into the home, but I would just focus on you the best you can. I know it's hard, especially if you do not want this


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## livemylife (May 26, 2012)

MSC71 said:


> I assume your hubby initiated the divorce ?? Which is understandable you are hurt. Almost like he is rubbing in your face. I don't think you should concentrate on who he is talking too etc as the marriage is over at this point. It might be different if he brought someone into the home, but I would just focus on you the best you can. I know it's hard, especially if you do not want this


I hear what you are saying and yes it's very difficult to deal with because I thought we had a good marriage. I just find it so disrespectful and now I have to find a way to move forward from all this chaos.
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## 2much2soon (Jul 26, 2012)

livemylife said:


> I hear what you are saying and yes it's very difficult to deal with because I thought we had a good marriage. I just find it so disrespectful and now I have to find a way to move forward from all this chaos.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You need to focus on keeping yourself whole. Do not allow him to disrespect you like that. If he has decided to continue with the affair there is nothing you can do about it. Serve his ass with papers and keep moving for you and your children. You need your mental health to raise your children.


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## zebulona (Aug 15, 2012)

Agreed w 2 much


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## livemylife (May 26, 2012)

2much2soon said:


> You need to focus on keeping yourself whole. Do not allow him to disrespect you like that. If he has decided to continue with the affair there is nothing you can do about it. Serve his ass with papers and keep moving for you and your children. You need your mental health to raise your children.


I try to keep busy. I am involved in sports and go to the gym often. I try to do lots of stuff with my kids and friends, but it's still so fresh. I know there will be better days ahead : D.
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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Expose the affair to posOWH


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## livemylife (May 26, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Expose the affair to posOWH


She's single. I think by me texting her directly she may have gotten the message. According to my stbxh she hasn't contacted him all day. I checked his cell account and so far they haven't been in contact all day. She's supposedly a good Christian girl so at the end of my text I wrote to her "take a word from your God and treat others like you want to be treated". But we'll see how long this will last : (
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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