# Oral Sex



## Simple Dude (Dec 21, 2016)

Hello, Trying to understand this, My wife slowly has remove herself from receiving oral sex over the yrs. It happened in a way that I didn't pay much attention to it until it completely stop as time went on I would suggest it and the answer has always became no way. I have tried to be cool with it and talk about my desires but she clearly is not into it. We have a wonderful relationship and a balanced sex life most the time.I understand her wishes and honor her feelings.But how and why could she not just let it happen and let go even if she is not into it. Whats it really going to hurt. If she is not into it then don't be.Just lay there and not enjoy it. If things were reversed and she wanted to do it to me and I didn't like it I think I could just do it for her.Maybe its a female issue??


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## browser (Oct 26, 2016)

Does she do it to you?

If not there are problems here.

If so then you've got nothing to complain about.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

What's the point of her laying there and letting you do it if she won't enjoy it, or get any pleasure from it? I guess she could just let you do it as foreplay or something, if that's what you mean?


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

MANY women are just self conscious about their lady area or they don't like the "spot light" on them. 

At least in my experience. I get them off a lot easier with my hand anyway. Don't take it personal, it's very common.


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

Simple Dude said:


> Hello, Trying to understand this, My wife slowly has remove herself from receiving oral sex over the yrs. It happened in a way that I didn't pay much attention to it until it completely stop as time went on I would suggest it and the answer has always became no way. I have tried to be cool with it and talk about my desires but she clearly is not into it. We have a wonderful relationship and a balanced sex life most the time.I understand her wishes and honor her feelings.But how and why could she not just let it happen and let go even if she is not into it. Whats it really going to hurt. If she is not into it then don't be.Just lay there and not enjoy it. If things were reversed and she wanted to do it to me and I didn't like it I think I could just do it for her.Maybe its a female issue??


Expand please. 

Does she give you oral?

Is her area a strict no go with tongue, mouth or hands?

Is it too sensitive? What's the reason she's given you for not allowing you down there?

She must have done it at first, did she seem to enjoy it then?

Has something traumatic happened in the subsequent years?

Infidelity on either side?


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

If I could, I would do it every night. However as posted above, unless my wife is freshly showered, shaved and whatever else she feels she needs to do, she doesn't let me. 

You post why doesn't she just lie there and let me do it even if she doesn't enjoy it? I don't think this is a productive attitude to have. Personally if my wife didn't enjoy it, then it would cut down significantly on how much **I** enjoy doing it.

Had you tried putting the bug in her head? Like in the morning before leaving for work, tell her you want to do XYZ tonight. Give her time to prep.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Simple Dude said:


> Hello, Trying to understand this, My wife slowly has remove herself from receiving oral sex over the yrs. It happened in a way that I didn't pay much attention to it until it completely stop as time went on I would suggest it and the answer has always became no way. I have tried to be cool with it and talk about my desires but she clearly is not into it. We have a wonderful relationship and a balanced sex life most the time.I understand her wishes and honor her feelings.But how and why could she not just let it happen and let go even if she is not into it. Whats it really going to hurt. If she is not into it then don't be.Just lay there and not enjoy it. If things were reversed and she wanted to do it to me and I didn't like it I think I could just do it for her.Maybe its a female issue??


You really won't understand until you get answers from her.

Some women just aren't into it.
Some men, I'm told, aren't very good at it.

My bet is that she was never really into it but allowed it because she felt like she was expected to enjoy it. Once she felt certain she just doesn't enjoy it, why would she have to consent to it?

Do you feel like she should consent to it to please you? I'm not suggesting that would be wrong, but if that is how you feel, have you told her? Have you told her that you love being there, love her scent and her taste and that it turns you on? If you haven't said those things, why not?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Any person, albeit a man or a woman, who doesn't really enjoy good oral sex(both in giving and receiving) really needs to get some intensive counseling from a good sexual therapist!*


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Maybe she doesn't like your technique and doesn't want to make matters worse by telling you that. If it seems like it's just that she doesn't like it, that seems a good enough reason, but if she has to explain that you aren't doing it "right" she may not want to go there.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

So she used to like it/allow it and now she doesn't. How old is she?

It could be possible that she experiences bladder leakage and doesn't want you in that area when it happens.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

What kind of birth control do you guys use? Is it an IUD? The insertion of an IUD can cause spotting for a loooonnnggg time...and lead to questions of cleanliness. We went through that. It dramatically decreased the amount of oral for my wife (at her request- and I get that)... That said, her willingness to complete oral on me has gone through the roof.


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