# Emotionally unavailalbe H



## Bequia2010 (Jan 1, 2010)

My H is emotionally unavailable, and does not meet my emotional needs. We have discussed this many many times. We have tried various self help projects, counseling, etc. We've been married 25 1/2 yrs. I have carried this marriage through every moment of every year. I put in 200% and H put in 0%. We had children, and I wanted them to have an emotionally healthy home. So I did my best to make their father appear to be emotionally connected, and involved with the family. The children are grown now. I have carried the burden of making the marriage as healthy as possible all these years, and showing him how wonderful a good marriage can be.. I cannot do it any more. My H very much wants a loving, sexy, emotionally supportive wife and parterner, as I have been for many years. Oh, yes he loves every moment of it and eats it up. He wants it all to HPAPPEN to him. BUT he gives nothing in return. He cannot or will not do the things I have begged him to do, to make me feel valuable, desireable, and intimately connected to him. I am a secure person. I don't need constant praise or compliments. Our sex life is terrible. We very rarely have sex. And when we do something's missing. That something is the love and intimacy I crave. We are having sex, not sharing a loving enjoyable emotional connection. After sex, I feel like I have had sex with a stranger. I told him there is nothng more he can do or say to hurt me. Even this shocking statement did not make him blink or take pause.


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## artieb (Nov 11, 2009)

Was he like this before you got married?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

There's a book titled "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman which might provide some insight.


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