# The Pain Will Not Go Away



## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I want so bad for this to be over. I want to stop feeling like this, hopeless, helpless, depressed. I want to stop crying, the tears just seem to come from out of the blue. My heart literally still aches. I guess it's true what they say in DC group, a divorce is a tearing away of a part of one's heart and soul. It's like having a broken limb just hanging there and you can't stop the bleeding.

I want to stop loving him, especially now that he seems to be involved with someone else. I am so afraid of how I will act if she ever comes here (She lives in another state). 

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so lost. I've lost my husband, my friend, my support system, my everything.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

It has been 2 weeks since my wife left. 

I feel exactly the same as you. Today I wanted to cry at work but I just don't have any tears left to shed.

You are not alone in your struggle. Many of us on this forum has the same pain. Let it out here. This is your outlet.

I have felt so much better since I started posting here. Some have happy endings, most don't but what we share here is the pain of a family breaking up.


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## sadwithouthim (Dec 8, 2011)

Im sorry JAW. I was in your place the past weekend. I am glad you are back in DC. Keep going as it does help. I am not going to tell you to distract your mind with hobbies, etc.because i know how hard that is. What will help is make sure you take the time every day to work on your DC workbook as God will bring you peace. Some of the versus discussed make so much sense and will bring you so much comfort. Try and get some sleep. I am saying a prayer for you tonight.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LockeCPM4 (Jul 11, 2012)

justabovewater said:


> I want so bad for this to be over. I want to stop feeling like this, hopeless, helpless, depressed. I want to stop crying, the tears just seem to come from out of the blue. My heart literally still aches. I guess it's true what they say in DC group, a divorce is a tearing away of a part of one's heart and soul. It's like having a broken limb just hanging there and you can't stop the bleeding.
> 
> I want to stop loving him, especially now that he seems to be involved with someone else. I am so afraid of how I will act if she ever comes here (She lives in another state).
> 
> I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so lost. I've lost my husband, my friend, my support system, my everything.


I know how you feel. A lot of us do. The old saying "Misery loves company" seems true to me for the first time. We understand what you are going through. Believe me when I say this.

And posting your thoughts and feelings here does help.

I would like to give you some advice that I think will help. When you reach out to your loved ones, whether they be friends or relatives, make sure they are objective.

In my case, I primarily talk to my younger sister. She left her fiancé a couple years ago for about 4 months for many of the same reasons my wife left me. She has given me valuable insight to what my wife is thinking, feeling and going through. She has been extremely helpful in giving me this understanding, and she is not at all telling me to leave my wife or not. She wants me to be happy in whatever I decide to do. She respects my wishes to reconcile, and has given me a lot of hope by opening up to me about what a woman in my wife's shoes is going through.

It is nice to have someone that just listens and offers objective advice. And from my experience here on TAM, the majority of members will give you exactly that.


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## solitudeseeker (May 1, 2011)

I am one year separated, the divorce should be final in mid-Sept. It still hurts. But progress does come in little increments. Take it day by day.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

sadwithouthim said:


> Im sorry JAW. I was in your place the past weekend. I am glad you are back in DC. Keep going as it does help. I am not going to tell you to distract your mind with hobbies, etc.because i know how hard that is. What will help is make sure you take the time every day to work on your DC workbook as God will bring you peace. Some of the versus discussed make so much sense and will bring you so much comfort. Try and get some sleep. I am saying a prayer for you tonight.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hi Sad,
Thanks for posting. Was just thinking about you yesterday, wondering how you are doing. I'm so glad I went back to DC, I remember now some of the comfort I found going through it the first time. Also reading my devotional daily which seems to touch on exactly the right thing at the right time.

Thanks again. 

I'm thinking about you and praying for you as well.


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

solitudeseeker said:


> I am one year separated, the divorce should be final in mid-Sept. It still hurts. But progress does come in little increments. Take it day by day.


Solitudeseeker,

We seem to be in exactly the same place. One year separated, but I have no idea when he will be approaching me with a separation agreement. We still need to to work on that.

I think back to where I was a year ago and yes, I've (we've) all come so far, I'm sure. I just didn't expect it to still hurt this much this far out. I guess the grieving will go on for quite some time.

Thanks for your kind words...all of you...I'm so glad I've found TAM, it's been a blessing over the past 12 or so months.

Take care.

JAW


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