# PLEASE GET ME THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS (dual post)



## Guy43 (Nov 24, 2010)

After 15 years of marriage, my wife left a few weeks ago. She left our daughter and her son. I couldnt be happier to have the kids, as I know that I can take care of them and provide for them emotionally. My wife suffers from depression, and has a real bad temper. Lets just say, that everyone makes her mad.

She can't handle anything. She has been in counseling for a year or so. It really hasn't changed much.

When she was deciding to leave, we sat down and went an uncontested divorce online. I figured we had better do it now that when we were not speaking to each other. We settled on everything, and she even signed a waiver of service. 

So........ The kids and I go over to her place for Thanksgiving. I help her do a few things to make her life easier. I put together some stuff for her, etc...... 

She all of the sudden sits on the couch and just looks mad. She states that she had to do the dishes and nobody offered to help. I stated that I offered, and she said that only after she was almost done. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it begins........ The same stuff that happens every holiday. She gets mad (although she says she didn't lose her temper because she didn't yell) She is storming around the apt cause she needs some more stuff done, and we were just trying to relax and watch football. Well, within 20 minutes, I am loaded in the car with the kids, both crying, and we are heading home. They both are asking me what is wrong with mom. I tell them that she suffers from depression and we just have to hope that the doctors can make her better. 

My kids are teenagers, so they are not stupid. They know that their mom is hard to be around, but can be wonderful at times.

My daughter is now stressed about Christmas. Not about gifts like most kids, she just doesnt want to be around any stress. We all just want to be happy.

HELP ME GET THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS!!!


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Guy43 said:


> After 15 years of marriage, my wife left a few weeks ago. She left our daughter and her son. I couldnt be happier to have the kids, as I know that I can take care of them and provide for them emotionally. My wife suffers from depression, and has a real bad temper. Lets just say, that everyone makes her mad.
> 
> She can't handle anything. She has been in counseling for a year or so. It really hasn't changed much.
> 
> ...


I think you already know what to do. Get together a lot and talk to each other about what is going on between all of you. Unfortunately, you can't control your wife's actions but you can definitely create a safe haven for you and your kids. I do hope your wife wakes up, apologizes and finds a way to get the help she needs but if she doesn't I wish you the Happiest of Holidays without her. Good food and talk and being together.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

You might want to try a gift swapping location like the mall where the kids can have fun and shop for the family.

Once they know it will be just a brief swap, the stress should lessen quite a bit.



Happy Holidays to you guys


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## heavenleigh (Sep 13, 2010)

I really feel for your kids. It is a shame that she doesn't realize what she is doing. I understand the part of not wanting stress for your kids. I wish you luck and my heart goes out to your kids. Since they are teenagers, I would let them choose if they want to go see her or not. Good luck!


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## Trooper (Oct 21, 2010)

I hope things are maybe going better. Just saw your post and wanted to let you know people are thinking about you. 

I would try to make sure the kids have plenty of activities so they don't focus on her too much. Get them involved in shopping, wrapping presents, decorating the house - put up lights, decorate a Christmas tree, hang a wreath - the usual, but have the kids do a lot of it to help them focus on something fun. Maybe get involved in a gift or food drive through your church or a charity, that should help to change everyone's focus. 

Hopefully she can see how she is alienating her kids and try to get help. Not sure if she is on any medication, but she sounds like she may be a good candidate. 

I really hope things are better, at least your kids have you, I think they are very lucky.


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