# Sex after losing weight, is it radically better?



## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

I'm in my late fifties and recently had a problem maintaining an erection for intercourse. Part of this may well be psychological since my morning ones are fine. However, I'm not obese but officially overweight with a BMI of 29 and although exercise regularly am aware of increased risk of type 2 diabetes and circulation problems, especially since much of the fat is visceral. I have now come up with a plan with the support of my wife to lose the lard and get down to a healthy BMI. Essentially the motivation of being healthy, able to run faster, make the pension providers broke, look better naked and in clothes is more than adequate. Is it a reasonable expectation that sex for my wife and I will be better as well? I can't help thinking that losing the podge around the public area would benefit in looks and performance too.


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## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

For me, part of the 'better' was psychological as well as the physical.

When I got down to it and lost the extra fat and built up more muscle again, I noticed more women (and some men) checking me out.

Friends of my wife made lots of comments which gave me a boost.

All this translated to more confidence with my wife which certainly made things better overall.

Note that I have backtracked a bit and need to get back on the wagon.

Good luck.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Let me start off by saying that I have been morbidly obese my entire life. I was always a big boy. Rarely did my adult weight drop below 250. Certainly, my wife and I enjoyed a "regular" sex life. A lifetime of obesity, coupled with a 2-3 pack a day cigarette habit, earned me my first heart attack at age 40. I learned absolutely nothing from that attack, other than never trusting an employer ever again. The second attack nearly killed me. First, as I lie in ER, the triage physician asked how long I had been a diabetic? I responded with, "ten seconds". Second, they attempted an angioplasty. I reacted to the blood thinners by having a total systemic cascading clot. I came out of the coma 3-4 days later. Lost my immune system and all of my stamina. That was 2000. I was still over 300lbs, and was turning into a fairly significant diabetic. Problem was that the last attack weakened me. Four years later, I am feeling more myself, but my Mom dies of a weight and diabetes related blood clot. I started slowly, the diabetic medication I was on was keeping me from showing significant losses. That all changed when I dropped my old Dr, and found a really great intenist. We tossed about half my meds, as he could not believe how badly mismanaged I was. In 2011, the real weight loss began. I was 325. I joined Weight Watchers, and asked that they not tell me my weight, just if I were up or down. I was a size 46 jean, size 52 suit. It came off, slowly. When my jean size fell below a 40, I started tracking my weight. Last few months I have crossed the barrier. I am just around 195. A 130 lb loss. Now the good stuff. 

FIRST, this statement will immediately get every man into the gym and out to lose the gut. I found that I have 2" more penis, I used to think that I was slightly below average. Turns out I own nearly 7". What the hell was I thinking? My wife and I are in "catch-up" mode. We are taking full advantage of the body changes. I can last forever. My stamina is incredible. She has responded by initiating more, hitting new orgasmic highs (she used to be somewhat frightened that I'd have another heart attack during sex-and believe it or not, she has a family "history"-two aunts had their husbands die during the act-yah-a family of hot women). Welll, we went from once a week, once every other, to several times a day while we were on vacation and once a day/every other day currently. I look great (f**k-why did I not get it in my 30's) I feel great, We f**k like two porn-stars. Funny, her SIL confided in her that their sex life ended at 65. My wife shook SIL's world when she told her what we are up to. My favorite line of the past few months (my wife was overweight at several times in the marriage and has a strange relationship with food), she says to me, "Well it is now official, I love sex more than food!" My response? Let's go to bed, now!

So my answer is, yes sex after weight loss is beyond radically better, it is worlds and universes better. Honestly, had I remained on my trajectory, I would have been dead by now, and long before that we would have either divorced or been in a sexless marriage. Now.......WOW!


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

twoofus said:


> Is it a reasonable expectation that sex for my wife and I will be better as well?


In the event you have "other problems" going on and you are each redirecting the blame caused from those "other problems," then do not expect much improvement from weight loss. 

If sex is already great and incredible even when you have been overweight, then YES loosing weight will improve things as it opens the possibility of more intimate positions, meaning that you can hold each other close during penetration in ways that may not be possible if there is a problem with a person being overweight. 

An example of "other problems" is sometimes about one person not wanting to be "too close" to the other. One person may be very needy of attention and the other is wanting more personal space in the relationship (nothing inherently wrong with that as most couples experience it). So if that is a problem prior to weight loss, then it will still be problem after weight loss. 

Regards, 
Badsanta


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

To be succinct, the weight adds to your exposure for diabetes and circulatory problems. The penis is essentially a blood bag, so if you are experiencing circulatory issues, obviously the penis will be affected. For all of my weight loss, the diabetes coupled with a lifetime of bad behavior, added up to an issue with erectile dysfunction. Not that I could not get it up, but it would droop at certain points. A "Cialis" prescription and everything is as hard as it should be. Remember, since a lot of your blood is out feeding the fat, it can't be used to get Mr. Shlong ready for his date, and the droop will kick in.


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## Don't Panic (Apr 2, 2017)

Taxman said:


> I am just around 195. A 130 lb loss. Now the good stuff.
> 
> FIRST, this statement will immediately get every man into the gym and out to lose the gut. I found that I have 2" more penis, I used to think that I was slightly below average. Turns out I own nearly 7". What the hell was I thinking? My wife and I are in "catch-up" mode. We are taking full advantage of the body changes. I can last forever. My stamina is incredible. She has responded by initiating more, hitting new orgasmic highs (she used to be somewhat frightened that I'd have another heart attack during sex-and believe it or not, she has a family "history"-two aunts had their husbands die during the act-yah-a family of hot women). Welll, we went from once a week, once every other, to several times a day while we were on vacation and once a day/every other day currently. I look great (f**k-why did I not get it in my 30's) I feel great, We f**k like two porn-stars. Funny, her SIL confided in her that their sex life ended at 65. My wife shook SIL's world when she told her what we are up to. My favorite line of the past few months (my wife was overweight at several times in the marriage and has a strange relationship with food), she says to me, "Well it is now official, I love sex more than food!" My response? Let's go to bed, now!
> 
> So my answer is, yes sex after weight loss is beyond radically better, it is worlds and universes better. Honestly, had I remained on my trajectory, I would have been dead by now, and long before that we would have either divorced or been in a sexless marriage. Now.......WOW!


"WOW!" is an understatement! Way to go Taxman, that's quite the accomplishment :smile2: VERY inspiring!

We're both in good health, mid-forties and have never struggled with our weight, fortunately. But we exercise and prefer healthy food (for the most part). I think sex in general is just "radically better" when you are both in good/great shape. That's motivation enough for me to maintain the temple's exterior ;o) 

Best wishes on your progress @twoofus


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

The big pain in the arse in all of this, I am developing the body of a man much younger than myself-too bad I am stuck with the face of an old hound. Wattle on the neck, bags under the eyes, and a little more revealed real estate on the scalp than I'd prefer. Oh well, so...Superman's body, Ernest Borgnine's face. Yay!


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## leon2100 (May 13, 2015)

Reminds of the woman who said her sex life got better after she lost 200 pounds. She was asked "you lost that much by diet?" "No" she responded, "I got a divorce!"


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Rather than battle weight loss... again... I opted to just go with a personal trainer. Spending $400 a month training 45 min twice a week. Hard lifting; total body movements; virtually no resting (because we use super sets where one muscle group rests while another works); burn 600-750 calories a session. My muscle gains over the last 2 years are transformative and my stamina and probably t levels are up. Mid 50s

Yes I still am way over weight - 255 at 5'8" - but much fat has left and much muscle added.

I intend to switch to weight loss at some point but don't want to interfere with my calorie needs for weight training, plus I love food and beer  so that will be hard

Very active sex life. I suspect that since we had a good sex life at 300 lbs and low muscle, being more fit is even better 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

badsanta said:


> In the event you have "other problems" going on and you are each redirecting the blame caused from those "other problems," then do not expect much improvement from weight loss.
> 
> If sex is already great and incredible even when you have been overweight, then YES loosing weight will improve things as it opens the possibility of more intimate positions, meaning that you can hold each other close during penetration in ways that may not be possible if there is a problem with a person being overweight.
> 
> ...


Yes, as you say, there are are other issues in my circumstance. However am working on them and since I have been giving my wife a sensual/erotic massage on a regular basis she sees that I can still "fancy her" without full penetration. However, using the massage oil, she was able to rub me to erection which is something she hasn't done for a long time. She is pleased I'm tackling my excess fat seriously now. However, I am doing that for myself but if it also benefits our relationship then great. I started this thread because I wanted to hear other peoples' experience.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

twoofus said:


> Yes, as you say, there are are other issues in my circumstance. However am working on them and since I have been giving my wife a sensual/erotic massage on a regular basis she sees that I can still "fancy her" without full penetration. However, using the massage oil, she was able to rub me to erection which is something she hasn't done for a long time. She is pleased I'm tackling my excess fat seriously now. However, I am doing that for myself but if it also benefits our relationship then great. I started this thread because I wanted to hear other peoples' experience.


If you are doing something for yourself and want to share that meaningfulness that it creates for you, then you will not go wrong with that.

Along another note you also need to ask yourself if you are loosing weight because you do not like who you are as a person, and you are trying to change that? If that is the case, things will probably get worse. You have to first learn to love and accept yourself as a person and THEN begin a healing process of taking better care of yourself. You can not loose weight by attacking yourself (refusing to eat and forcing yourself to exercise - been there and done that!), you have to do so by loving yourself (finding an active hobby you like, and choosing to eat healthy meals before you get too hungry). 

So don't beat yourself up in this process. Have fun! And most importantly enjoy being you! Share that with your wife and intimacy should improve. 

Badsanta


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

twoofus said:


> I'm in my late fifties and recently had a problem maintaining an erection for intercourse. Part of this may well be psychological since my morning ones are fine. However, I'm not obese but officially overweight with a BMI of 29 and although exercise regularly am aware of increased risk of type 2 diabetes and circulation problems,* especially since much of the fat is visceral*. I have now come up with a plan with the support of my wife to lose the lard and get down to a healthy BMI. Essentially the motivation of being healthy, able to run faster, make the pension providers broke, look better naked and in clothes is more than adequate. Is it a reasonable expectation that sex for my wife and I will be better as well? I can't help thinking that losing the podge around the public area would benefit in looks and performance too.


That visceral fat (the hard stuff under your belly) is VERY bad for you. Fatty liver, diabetes, a host of other problems are caused by it. The ONLY way to lose it is exercise and diet. 

I would suggest HIIT exercise (high intensity interval training). It burns fat the fastest. just do it with great intensity.

Also evaluate what you are eating. Cut out simple carbs (bread, pasta, white rice, ice cream, candy bars, cookies, cakes, pies, etc). Like just do not even let them into the house. 

Cut your alcohol use way back. On a day your drink, your liver shuts down converting fat to energy, and instead spends the next 24 hours trying to remove the alcohol from your system. So it is a full day wasted as far as weight loss is concerned. If you must, drink only 2 days on the weekend.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Problematically, as you get closer to your weight loss goal, the pounds get extremely stubborn, therefore one needs to change up exercise routines and diet. My daughter recommended the "paleo" diet, which essentially restricts carbohydrates. I have also backed off the weights and opted for some intense cardio. I still have to have my glass of whiskey every few days, but the exercise is a reasonable price to pay for a very fine glass of single barrel bourbon or some single malt 15 year-old scotch. (Yes, I do have some habits that I do not want to shake, after all one cannot enjoy a fine cigar without a glass of bourbon/rye/scotch or sour-mash, or a fine doobie enjoyed with one's beautiful wife while sitting out on our deck)


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

badsanta said:


> If you are doing something for yourself and want to share that meaningfulness that it creates for you, then you will not go wrong with that.
> 
> Along another note you also need to ask yourself* if you are loosing weight because you do not like who you are as a person, and you are trying to change that?* If that is the case, things will probably get worse. You have to first learn to love and accept yourself as a person and THEN begin a healing process of taking better care of yourself. You can not loose weight by attacking yourself (refusing to eat and forcing yourself to exercise - been there and done that!), you have to do so by loving yourself (finding an active hobby you like, and choosing to eat healthy meals before you get too hungry).
> 
> ...


As a person, I do love myself! By that I mean I'm at ease with myself. I'm generally very positive about everything and often put a positive spin on things which usually annoys W no end. I'm aware that people can be unrealistic in their expectations of when a change is made. I'm not expecting to be loved more or having to brush off hoards of ladies! Realistic is an improvement in overall health and mobility, looking a bit neater, being able to run a 5K or so. Also satisfaction from being able to stick to a plan. Possibly sex will improve with the improvement in health and looking and feeling slimmer will give my self image a boost perhaps. If it doesn't at least I eliminated a possible cause to the "going floppy when presented with an eager vagina" issue :surprise:


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

Taxman said:


> Problematically, as you get closer to your weight loss goal, the pounds get extremely stubborn, therefore one needs to change up exercise routines and diet. My daughter recommended the "paleo" diet, which essentially restricts carbohydrates. I have also backed off the weights and opted for some intense cardio. I still have to have my glass of whiskey every few days, but the exercise is a reasonable price to pay for a very fine glass of single barrel bourbon or some single malt 15 year-old scotch. (Yes, I do have some habits that I do not want to shake, after all one cannot enjoy a fine cigar without a glass of bourbon/rye/scotch or sour-mash, or a fine doobie enjoyed with one's beautiful wife while sitting out on our deck)


I must admit to being partial to the odd glass of malt whisky (Oban at the moment), but have limited alcohol successfully (not that has ever been an issue with me, I can it it or leave it thankfully). As regards food, I have cut out a lot of carbohydrate, fruit instead of cereal, sweet potato instead of starchy potato, lean proteins. I don't smoke, but find the aroma of quality cigars and pipe tobacco quite pleasing although cigarettes smell disgusting.


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

Talker67 said:


> That visceral fat (the hard stuff under your belly) is VERY bad for you. Fatty liver, diabetes, a host of other problems are caused by it. The ONLY way to lose it is exercise and diet.
> 
> I would suggest HIIT exercise (high intensity interval training). It burns fat the fastest. just do it with great intensity.
> 
> ...


HIIT is in my plan and I have a personal training session once a week also incorporating building core muscle improvement and some cardio.
Alcohol in moderation is no more than twice a week and I have greatly reduced my carbohydrate intake. Being a typical bloke, most of the fat is visceral and I can't wait to be rid of it.


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## KevinZX (Jul 1, 2017)

As previous posts elude, my wife left four weeks ago, my god i changed everything in the first week regarding diet, i am a big man, nearly 500llbs, 6 foot 5, the weight is dropping off, i am religiously eating like a monkey, nuts, fruit and the odd bit of bread, do monkeys eat bread?, the reality is i have to go and buy new trousers at least as my old ones are falling off. Be determined to change and it is like a god given superpower that i am sticking to it to get the old me back, it will take time but time is going to be my helping hand, time allows the powerless to become the powerful, time is your friend. I have no woman but all my urges are coming back and uncle sam has promoted the little soldier to sergeant and he wants more of the same. From a broken man in the first few days to an all out marathon man in just a month, life is gonna get juiced by me, no more sitting back and eating myself to death, this time it is me, me ,me all the way.

Love and Peace always

KevinZX


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

KevinZX said:


> As previous posts elude, my wife left four weeks ago, my god i changed everything in the first week regarding diet, i am a big man, nearly 500llbs, 6 foot 5, the weight is dropping off, i am religiously eating like a monkey, nuts, fruit and the odd bit of bread, do monkeys eat bread?, the reality is i have to go and buy new trousers at least as my old ones are falling off. Be determined to change and it is like a god given superpower that i am sticking to it to get the old me back, it will take time but time is going to be my helping hand, time allows the powerless to become the powerful, time is your friend. I have no woman but all my urges are coming back and uncle sam has promoted the little soldier to sergeant and he wants more of the same. From a broken man in the first few days to an all out marathon man in just a month, life is gonna get juiced by me, no more sitting back and eating myself to death, this time it is me, me ,me all the way.
> 
> Love and Peace always
> 
> KevinZX


Good on you KevinZX!
Your absent wife is going to be be really miffed that her leaving you has given your lust for life back; add that to your motivation stack.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Kevin, good for you!

DRINK lots of water. When that fat burns off, it releases all sorts of fat soluble toxins stored in it. You need a LOT of water to flush that crap out.

I have heard remarkable things about the balloon they put in your stomach and blow up with saline solution. Then 6 months later, the simply deflate it and remove it thru your throat. No surgery needed, but it works great for seriously overweight people


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Kevin
I am very proud of you. May your wife bruise her jaw as it hits the floor, when she sees the new svelte you. And let her be pushed out of the way by the lineup of young pretty things dying to get with you.

If you have seen some of my postings, I was a large guy most of my life. Due to some really eventful upheavals healthwise, I began a nearly 14 year journey. I have lost, at this writing about 130 lbs. For the first time in my adult life I weigh less than 200lbs.

Kevin, this is what awaits you: Energy, stamina, being able to see your "little general" again, women noticing you, repetetive wardrobe upgrades (and every new iteration usually results in the wardrobe getting sexier), being able to last way longer during sex (too bad your wife walked before being able to take advantage-her loss), self-esteem up the wazoo, confidence, and best of all: Your health improves and your lifespan increases!

Enjoy the new body


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