# Dealing with my depression....



## ConstantSpeed (May 1, 2012)

Hi, So I have been going to IC for a few months trying to deal with my depression. When I first started seeing a counselor she said that no one can make you feel happy. But then a few sessions later when we started talking about my marriage she labeled him as verbally abusive and that it appears as though my marriage is what triggered my depression. How can someone not make you happy but yet they triggered my depression? She tried explaining it to me but I still don’t understand. Can someone explain this to me?


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

This is the way I see it.

The brain is a funny thing, it believes what it is told. If your H is telling you you are lazy, ugly, a slob, yelling at you, what ever - over and over and you do nothing to counter this, you will start to believe it.

If, however, you are telling yourself you are beautiful, a good worker, a nice person, etc., your brain will start to believe that instead. There is a quiet conversation going on in our brains all the time. What are you telling yourself in your mind?

Also, if we give too much power to others, that can affect our brain speech. For instance, if you give the power to your H to bring hobbies or entertainment to you and you are always relying on him without depending on yourself for those things - and he doesn't do it, then your brain speech is telling you you are not worth it. But if you do these things for yourself and rely on yourself then you will be telling yourself that you can be happy doing these things, even if it is alone.

I hope this makes sense....


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

Depression is a tough thing to deal with. People who have never dealt with it are clueless. I've heard people say to " just think positive ". Yeah, whatever. Its not like we choose to be this way.


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## JustHer (Mar 12, 2013)

tornado said:


> Depression is a tough thing to deal with. People who have never dealt with it are clueless. I've heard people say to " just think positive ". Yeah, whatever. Its not like we choose to be this way.



I understand that, I have had depression before and I am aware that you cannot 'talk' yourself out of it. But the OP asked a question;




ConstantSpeed said:


> When I first started seeing a counselor she said that no one can make you feel happy. But then a few sessions later when we started talking about my marriage she labeled him as verbally abusive and that it appears as though my marriage is what triggered my depression. *How can someone not make you happy but yet they triggered my depression?* She tried explaining it to me but I still don’t understand. Can someone explain this to me?


The above post was my attempt at answering this question. I was not trying to tell her how to 'get over' her depression.


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## tornado (Jan 10, 2014)

That wasn't aimed at you. Just speaking in general. Sorry.


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