# Serial Monogamy



## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

an old friend and I were hanging out and he dropped a comment on me that made me pause... he said something like...

'....look at you... you havent been without a woman since you were 14!'

Thinking about it, he's right. I think Ive had had an unbroken chain of girfriends all through highschool and college up until I met my wife and been with her since. I dont think I ever went 6 months 'unattached'. Now Im 48. This wasnt concious... its just sort of what happened.

I am *far* from needy. 

I wonder how typical that is.. or not. Obviously a divorce or a relationship crashing and burning could alter the equation.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

I was in a couple of LTRs during high school and college. Always pretty much had a girl in those days. When I graduated from college I took a job that landed me in a pretty small town <30K but I traveled heavily. For about 4 years I was completely unattached. Dated but never developed a relationship. I enjoyed that time in my life but was ready to settle down with a partner by my mid 20's.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Amp - yeah... 4 years 'without'. Never did that.

And - even further... Im not sure I ever 'casually' dated in my life - or at least not for very long anyway. Once we hit the sheets - seems I always got immediately swept into being a 'couple'.

Shrug.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I had two or three short term relationships in high school, then met my ex husband. Was with him for 14 years, left him, was on my own for 2.5 years then hooked up with hubby. For the 2.5 years I was on my own my kids were my world, didn't date, wasn't looking to either when I met hubby.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

anotherguy said:


> Amp - yeah... 4 years 'without'. Never did that.


Unattached, not without.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

This should be a poll. "What is the longest period of time you have ever been unattached". 

So far I see, 4 years, 2.5 years, and me guessing at 6 months.

Doesnt matter really I suppose. Hope you seem like me maybe... only 2.5 years after a divorce - back in the pool you go!


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Same here...two long term relationship in high school. Very little casual dating for about a year, then I met my husband. I am a very loyal person and have not been when anyone since.

That being said, I hope both my daughters and son take the time to live on there own for a few years. It helps to develope independance and gives them time to figure out who they are without worry about what a guys/gals think.


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## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Not to TJ but your title made me laugh. When I talked with the OBS about his WW, he said she is a Serial Monogamist when it came to cheating. While she was married, she would only have sex with one AP but chat up mutliple APs. I called crap on that one.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

underwater2010 said:


> Same here...two long term relationship in high school. Very little casual dating for about a year, then I met my husband. I am a very loyal person and have not been when anyone since.
> 
> That being said, I hope both my daughters and son take the time to live on there own for a few years. It helps to develope independance and gives them time to figure out who they are without worry about what a guys/gals think.



I so agree here. I moved across country after college and got my own place and my first job in a state 1,000 miles from anyone I knew. Best thing I ever did professionally and personally - its where I learned how to be an adult.

I met my (now) wife there in the first month I think. Yikes.  Its funny when I look back on it now.

Life IS like a box of chocolates.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

anotherguy said:


> Hope you seem like me maybe... only 2.5 years after a divorce - back in the pool you go!


I wasn't out looking, though, at ALL. I actually wasn't out looking for relationships when ANY of them started. If I did have to 'get back in the pool' I wouldn't have a freaking clue what to do!


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Exactly.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Idk how common it is but there ae definitely serial monogamists. Male and female. I've known quite a few men who are that way. Cannot ever seem to be w/o a women. Two in paticular come to mind. I think they are both co-dependent. Not saying that's you but these guys definitely are. To them it's a trauma to be single.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

I've gone most of my life single. I actually prefer it that way. I would love to have somebody but I definitely know what I want I don't really compromise because i'm so used to being single. I have friends who haven't gone longer than 2 months without somebody. It actually scares me to meet a woman like that. I want someone who has time to indulge herself in her own hobbies and passions and been single for a while.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It's pretty common, I believe.

I was single for 3 years after a horrible breakup when I was 25. I simply wasn't over him and wouldn't date other people. Usually between men, I would go about 6 months single...

When I met my husband, I was dating someone. lol. that ended quickly.

In HS, I didn't date because 1) I wasn't allowed until I was 16 and 2) I was shy. I had a HUGE crush on this guy for years and he was finally my first kiss when I was 17. We didn't really date though. I did date someone for 3 years in college (my virginity card was lost) and then a few years after him, met my daughter's dad....and the love of my life (at that time)...met them on the same night.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

First girl I ever went on a date with (at the end of Grade 10) turned into a 7 year relationship that ended in 1999, then it was almost 4 years until I ever got another date, married her a year and a half later, and stayed married until last year. Since then I have gone on three first dates, 2 of them turned into short relationships that ended.

I am a serial monogamist that has long droughts in between, but had picked up the pace, now it looks like I'm at the start of another dry spell.


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## FalconKing (Aug 8, 2012)

Yeah Lon I hear you man. I'm 29 and with what I am looking for, I don't see it being around the corner. Especially since I live in a small town. I can't do friends with benefits. I am looking for someone that can potentially be a wife. I just take this time to work on myself. Hang with good friends. I read a lot. I am also, deciding whether to take Kickboxing, finally learned how to play a musical instrument, or singing lessons(just so I can be the king of karaoke).


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

No GFs throughout HS, Navy and undergraduate... Very much commitment phobic back then. Went out, dated, (handed over virginity card at 17 - surf culture) truly did the singles life (wild oats thing)... Not that I was a player, just didn't want to be tied down. 

Graduate school, I got schooled by this young woman who was not going to let me have the honey till I paid for it... The harder I pressed more I fell in love... We got married and well the rest is history... So no serial relationships. Just one serious one


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