# Seeking advice..very wounded



## MiseryIsHere

My husband left nearly 6 weeks ago. He moved out while I was at work..he never told me he was leaving or so much as hinted at it. I was totally blind-sided. He immediatly shut off his phone and ran to his parents house a few hours away. About a week later, he emailed me a two sentence email stating he planned to file for divorce. He gave no reason and said he didnt feel comfortable answering my questions. Despite my attempts, he WILL NOT speak to me at all whatsoever. His family wont either. Have any of you ever been through anything like this and seen the marriage work in the end? Also, if you are in a long-term successful marriage, what would be your advice for me? I want the marriage to work but I am deeply hurt by the maliciousness that has gone on here.I can only email him but as I said, he does not reply. We have things that NEED to be discussed besides why he left. My full story is on another thread.


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## LonelyinLove

Wow. 

If it was me, I would grab my biggest brother and drive to the in laws and confront the jerk.

Right after I hired an attorney...


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## PBear

My advice... Stick to one thread. Too many moving parts for people to try to follow the story. 

Second piece of advice... Talk to a lawyer and see what your options are. Then decide what YOU want to do, and start moving towards that goal. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MiseryIsHere

I do still want to save this marriage. This issue is so incredibly fixable. FOr the record, I did drive to the in-laws but my spouse would not come out of the house. It is nearly 6 hours away so I cannot keep driving there.


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## LonelyinLove

He ran home to daddy and mommy and hides in the house and they let him...


Exactly how old is he??? 

If either of my married kids tried that, they would get the boot, but good, out the door.


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## MiseryIsHere

29


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## MattMatt

Just send this email back

"Really? That's fine, dear. I plan to fight the divorce. Unless you answer my questions. Now."


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## 3Xnocharm

MiseryIsHere said:


> I do still want to save this marriage. This issue is so incredibly fixable. FOr the record, I did drive to the in-laws but my spouse would not come out of the house. It is nearly 6 hours away so I cannot keep driving there.


How do you know its fixable if he wont tell you what it is? :scratchhead: I say give him his divorce, do you want to go through this again? You deserve better, dont give him the satisfaction of seeing your hurt.


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## Horizon

We are so caught up emotionally and we need answers, it is human to know - this is incredibly heartless on his part. 

How to be strong when you want to fix this so badly - it is easy for others to say do this or do that when you haven't got a clue which way is up. However act you must.

Act now, file and get the docs to him ASAP, certified post - whatever you use there. You have the ball in your court. 

Hurt as it will you must meet this cruel departure with firm resolve. Put on the steely mask to carry it off - cry privately but do not falter.

You'll know this man completely when you see his reaction.


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## bbird1

Marriage only works when both parties want it to. Honestly if he has given up and refuses to work at it let it go. Make sure the divorce shows he abandoned you and if he moved in with a female partner push for infidelity though you may not be able to prove it without putting them on the stand and asking.

Make him pay for his betrayal and if kids are involved then the abandonment claim will allow you more lattitude in keeping them.

Praying for you and sorry you are going through this.


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## toonaive

MiseryIsHere said:


> 29



At only 29 and he did this to you? Id say you dodged a bullet. Imagine him doing this to you after 20 years of marriage and children to take care of? Along with all the financial responsibilities that come with that. Divorce him, find yourself again, be happy.


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