# Did I push him away?



## Janet (Feb 14, 2009)

I posted a long winded message a week ago so I'll keep this simple. Basically my husband left 5 weeks ago because he said he wasn't happy and needed time (lost his mom 8 months ago, business was slow and we have a 7 month old baby). Lots of major changes in his and our life. He had left once before in Oct 2008 but came home 3 days later because he felt he needed to deal with what he is going through with his family. This time when he said he was leaving I lost it because I didn't expect this..we did have big agrument that morning but it just got bigger and bigger. We have fought so badly over the last month I feel like I pushed his further away and he says that things haven't gotten so bad that it would be a miracle for us to get through this. We have been together 13 years and marriage 5 years of that time. We had a good marriage besides the normal marriage stuff. I have done so much for him in the years together I just feel so abandoned, especially now with the baby. Do you think I pushed him away? I stopped calling and texting him unless it had to do with our child 2 weeks ago so the fighting has stopped now, mainly because I've come to terms that he does not want his marriage.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Janet

I read your other posts and am sorry you’ve not receive much response. First off, what do you think your husband might be missing in the marriage? Why does he feel he needs to leave.


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## Janet (Feb 14, 2009)

I think he is depressed personally. He goes from one extreme to another. Since his mom died he has been an angry man....hating life. Feels like life is cruel. He told me that this was not about me. I did nothing wrong. He has said that he has changed and isn't happy. Since the fighting has been so bad over the last month b/c of him leaving now he is saying that he's not sure if we can recover from this. He has said that he felt that something was missing with us but its not the reason why he needs to leave. At first he said he just needed some time and I wish I just gave it to him. I gave it to him in Oct. I was and still am (I just don't act on it) very angry for him to leave me with our son and I have to work nonstop to try and save our house. He said that he still loves me...I'm just so sad and helpless to save our marriage. He WILL NOT do counseling...doesn't believe in it. I just feel that I pushed him further with the fights but its unfair to sum up 13 years in one month. He was here to see our son and he took a bunch of picture with him of himself as a kid/baby and of me and him together is pics? so confused. I feel like he is in a crisis of some sort.


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## Janet (Feb 14, 2009)

Thanks for your responses...but we don't talk about us anymore. He is out of the house and in one month he got an apartment, furniture and opened his own checking account. I just feel like he is searching for happiness and feels that he needs to start over to get it and not be with his family. He is a good father, I will never take that away from him and he adores his child...its the only time I see joy in his face.


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