# Telling spouse years after affair ended



## 2panga (Dec 23, 2012)

My marriage ended 4 years ago due to H's affair with MOW. I sent her husband an email then alerting him of the affair. But they both just denied it and let him think I was just crazy.They kept the affair up for 2 more years, till she finally got pregnant and had a baby.

The MOW had been pregnant previously(probably with my ex's baby)when the affair was exposed by me. She had planned to keep the baby and allow her husband to raise it as his own without telling him it may not be his. But had an abortion when I told just in case her husband had wanted a DNA.

I have reason to believe she is also responsible for another marriage ending in divorce. But my dilema is, though it has been 4 years I have hard core evidence I have kept. Phone records and cards that were sent to my ex.

I also know she kept asking my ex to move in with him when he finally got his own apartment. She denied the affair when I first alerted her husband. Not because she loved him, but because she did not have a place to go since my ex was sleeping on friends couch for months. But as soon as ex got his own place, she relentlessly asked him to allow her to move in. BUT by then, my ex was seeing who she really was and would not let her.I had seen her evilness and selfishness before. So it was no surprise she was willing to blatantly throw her affair in her husband's face once she had somewhere to go.

This woman had done other things also that were very disrespectful to me during and after the affair. I let it go. But now years later, I want to send all the evidence I have to her husband to show him who she really is. She looks lie little "Miss Innocent". But she is really the devil in disguise. BTW, word from everyone who knows her husband is he really is a great guy who bends over backwards to keep her happy and believes everything she says.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

Have you been divorced for four years? If so, maybe you should stop caring about what your ex-husband does? OTOH, I can understand the obsession with some sort of closure. If it's something that has been eating away at you for four years, then package up the evidence and deliver to the husband of the OW. He has already denied the affair four years ago - so it's possible he'll just think you're bat-crazy after all these years. But if you think it will bring closure for you - do it, then move on with your life.

The OW doesn't matter to your life. Neither does your ex-H. The best closure/revenge is to live your life well.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

He didnt believe you before. He probably won't believe you now. Some people are good at denial.

It's been four years. You need to shake the dust of this horrid woman off of your shoes and get on with things.

Yes, she's a miserable person. She won't see what she is. She won't change. If this man refuses to see things, it's on him what happens to him.

Think of him like a smoker. He's heard the Surgeon General. He's seen the pictures. And yet he keeps sucking it down.

Shrug


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Well, I'm of the mindset that it's never too late to do the right thing.


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

why wasn't this done 4 years ago?

why did you hold on to this information for so long without revealing it to her BS? 

why the obsession now?


there's an angle here.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Probably will get flak for your motive but who cares.

She helped ruin your marriage and can do it to others. *I would expose it whether right or wrong. I just would* and would not feel a twinge of guilt about it.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Send him a registered mail with all the evidence and dust you hands off it. 


Also post her on cheaterville

Then, move on.


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

warlock07 said:


> Send him a registered mail with all the evidence and dust you hands off it.
> 
> 
> Also post her on cheaterville
> ...


Agree
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

At least he'll have the facts. Maybe she trickle truthed the affair to him (since thats what happens).


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I would hand him a package with all the evidence in person so you know his evil wife doesn't intercept it. Then walk away and be done with it forever.


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## 2panga (Dec 23, 2012)

The fact she did not learn from her past affair and again selfsihly interjected herself into someone else.s relationship is what makes me angry. I UNDERSTAND ~ SHOULD HAVE PROVIDED THE EVIDENCE years ago. But i never thought anyone could be this heartless and continue to hurt others as she does.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

2panga said:


> The fact she did not learn from her past affair and again selfsihly interjected herself into someone else.s relationship is what makes me angry. I UNDERSTAND ~ SHOULD HAVE PROVIDED THE EVIDENCE years ago. *But i never thought anyone could be this heartless and continue to hurt others as she does.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Because she's never had to face any consequences for what she has done. Why should she stop?


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Handle the package in person. Let him see you are not crazy. Give him your contact info in case he has any questions later. 

She is probably going to cheat on him again. She may be cheating on him now. Equip him.. if he chooses to be in denial, so be it.


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## committedwife (Dec 12, 2011)

warlock07 said:


> Send him a registered mail with all the evidence and dust you hands off it.
> 
> 
> Also post her on cheaterville
> ...


X2


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

expose it then move on, cuz I don't want to read about it agian in another 4 years, when you come back still asking if you should do it or not. LOL

Point being you will be able to move once this nagging thought is acted on.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I would tell the OWH. There is no statue of limitations on truth, and boy does this guy need to know the truth.


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## 2panga (Dec 23, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> I would tell the OWH. There is no statue of limitations on truth, and boy does this guy need to know the truth.


 Thank you all for your support. I did not say anything years ago because she went and had an abortion after I told her husband. She told him she had a miscarriage. But had no shame in telling me the truth when we spoke. In fact she tried to blame me and said because I had alerted her husband she had to have an abortion in case he wanted a DNA. She then went on to cry and told me how much she had wanted this baby. 

I did not feel it was my fault she had the abortion because she got herself into this mess and if she had really wanted the baby,she would have kept it no matter what the consequences. But I did feel with that,she was punished enough and this should be a wake up call. But afterwards it did nothing but made her go underground with the affair. 

By this time it did nit matter to me because I figured she would eventually leave her husband and my ex and she could be together and get what they deserved,EACH OTHER. But it did not happen that way. She is addicted to attention and went after another married man and wrecked his marriage. 

I should have known how evil she was when she was willing to fool her husband into thinking he fathered a child who may not be his. Also parking her car in front of my house when she was in my neighborhood. It took all of my willpower not to do anything to her.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Nows your chance, send the evidence and be done with this OW.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Nows your chance, send the evidence and be done with this OW.


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## 2panga (Dec 23, 2012)

the guy said:


> Nows your chance, send the evidence and be done with this OW.


I will not drop the ball this time.


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Thor said:


> I would hand him a package with all the evidence in person so you know his evil wife doesn't intercept it. Then walk away and be done with it forever.


It is never to late to tell the truth.


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## 2panga (Dec 23, 2012)

the evidence is getting put together. I will probably hand deliver or send it to husbands work after the New Year. thank you to everyone again. It feels good to know I am not being crazy or vindictive. I just cannot believe this woman is so full of herself she keeps cheating. But she plays the "damsel in distress" very well and it seems many men are lured by this because they want to be the knight that saves the "sweet innocent victim'..


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

2panga said:


> the evidence is getting put together. I will probably hand deliver or send it to husbands work after the New Year. thank you to everyone again. It feels good to know I am not being crazy or vindictive. I just cannot believe this woman is so full of herself she keeps cheating. But she plays the "damsel in distress" very well and it seems many men are lured by this because they want to be the knight that saves the "sweet innocent victim'..


Better to hand deliver the copies of the evidence to insure that he gets them.


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