# Why separate? I don't understand. Help!



## Crush (Oct 6, 2011)

My fiance and I have been together for 5 1/2 years. We've lived together since 3 months after we met. Everything seemed good on my end and I was very happy until we moved back to her home town. 2 months later she tells me that 1. She loves me. 2. She still wants to date me and be a couple. 3. She wants me to move out and get my own place. This hit me completely out of the blue! We are both in our late 40's and I strongly believed we would be together the rest of our lives. Her reasoning is that she needs to "step back" and get a better look at our relationship. She has no time frame and says only time will tell if she wants to reconcile or split up. I feel crushed. I have no idea what to do!


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## thisthingcalledlife (Oct 6, 2011)

I came here looking for advice, and look at me..my first post and I am GIVING advice! wow. enough about me...
Sounds like she is serious, as hurtful as it is.. I think you should let her go. You really have no other choice, you cannot change a persons mind, they must make up their own mind. She may have the "grass is greener" syndrome, whatever. She may be in a place in her life where she needs to be "alone" to get a better perspective, and who knows...that new perspective may be that she loves you and wants to make it work. If not, then so be it. 

You will be ok, I know u dont believe that now...but you will. 
You have done all you can. Dont beg, don't plead, let her go do her thing. 

No matter what happens...if she doesnt come back to you, then she was never any good for you anyway. I suck at advice, especially since I cant take my own advice lol but I hope this helps a little bit. best wishes to you


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## Crush (Oct 6, 2011)

@thisthingcalledlife - Thank you for your perspective. For someone who thinks they "suck at advise," what you say makes some sense of what seems to make no sense. I know that what I should do is probably to let her go like you said, but every instinct in my body says to do exactly what you say not to: beg, plead, etc.

Thanks again


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