# Anyone have experience with being pregnant in your 40s?



## DanaS (May 28, 2014)

When my husband and I initially got together it was a concern if he wanted children or not. He said he didn't really care either way he just wanted to be with me. After we got married I was actually the one who brought up having a child. I already have one daughter who is 22 and a very lovely girl and is doing well in school, it's just a shame my ex had to be so mean and hateful.

I have always wanted more children and so I brought up to my husband how he would feel about possibly having a child. He said he wouldn't mind being a dad but it's up to me if I would want to go through with it. We eventually decided to let nature take its course, if I got pregnant great, if I didn't that's fine to. I know at 43 it's far from ideal but I did want and to give it a try. We also agreed no IVF or any of that, I would simply stop my BC and he would stop using protection.

I have missed my period for 3 weeks now and did two pregnancy tests; both positive. My husband is happy and supportive and I am very thankful. Of course I know at my age the risks and such but I am wanting to know if you or someone you know has had a successful pregnancy at my age?

For the record I know my husband is great with kids, he coached a little league softball team and was great with the kids.


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

We had a surprise pregnancy when I was 40 and delivered just one week shy of my 41st birthday. The pregnancy and birth went great. I didn't feel any different from when I had my first pregnancy at 30. I did have the CVS testing done instead of the amniocentesis. It's a test done in the 1st trimester. 

"Chorionic Villus Sampling: Like amniocentesis, CVS is a test used to detect birth defects in the baby. CVS can give results earlier in pregnancy than amniocentesis, allowing women the option to terminate their pregnancy earlier if something seriously wrong is detected. CVS can also be useful when amniocentesis is not possible (for example, when there is not enough amniotic fluid)."


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm not completely sure if your question is only about going through a late in life pregnancy or if you also have concerns about being 43 and just start out raising this new baby. 

My second and last pregnancy was at 36. So that does not count in this discussion. It ended with stillborn twins. After that awful pregnancy I could not get pregnant again.

When I was 40 we adopted a 10 day old baby. He's 25 now and a great young man. Raising a child late in life is all I know. It was great.


----------



## DanaS (May 28, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I'm not completely sure if your question is only about going through a late in life pregnancy or if you also have concerns about being 43 and just start out raising this new baby.
> 
> My second and last pregnancy was at 36. So that does not count in this discussion. It ended with stillborn twins. After that awful pregnancy I could not get pregnant again.
> 
> When I was 40 we adopted a 10 day old baby. He's 25 now and a great young man. Raising a child late in life is all I know. It was great.


The former. I know I may be older but I do have more patience and more money with which to spend. I am also a lot wiser and do still have plenty of energy, and since my husband is younger I definitely do not have to worry about being "older" when this child gets older. Of course this is early, and I know I could, god forbid have a miscarriage or what have you, but I am really excited.


----------



## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

My mum had her second at 43 and her last one at 45, both of her pregnancies ran smoothly.


----------



## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

The issue with pregnancy at a later age(over 35) is the risks involved for mom and baby. It doesn't mean it is something that will for sure happen, it's just a possibility with a slightly higher chance than someone at a younger age. 

I know a few mom friends who have had babies at over 40. Most had the testing done to look for possible issues, but they all ultimately had healthy babies. I know they are more tired with a baby and had more of a rough time with recovery post birth, but that has to be expected. That is just a reality of aging. No matter what "shape" you are in, what your body can do at 40 is not what it did in your 20s or 30s. 

I would just look into the testing to see which you feel most comfortable with or skip it altogether(if you know, no matter what you will want the baby).


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Our son is 8 now and I don't feel like I can't keep up with him and he is WAY more active than our first two. He was a climber. My husband coaches his soccer team, I run around the park with him. Maybe it's true that having a kid later in life keeps you young.


----------



## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

First time mom at 23. Next 26, then 39 and 42. All pregnancies went well - all kids healthy. Same energy as first time around and love being a mom at this age! Best of luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Congratulations! I had my last at the age of 40. No problems whatsoever. I'm still mourning the fact that I can't have anymore (H doesn't want to) and it wouldn't be reasonable as I'm now almost 45.

I'm looking forward to being a grandmother one day (hopefully).


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I had my last at 40... an aunt had her only at age 42, my Grandmother had my dad -what they call a "Change of life" baby.. they were all healthy.. but it's true those risks go up... depending on how you feel about that.. I opted for a level III sonogram, traveled to a big city hospital for our last.. I wanted more testing...just to be sure everything was OK...they measured the skin on the back of the babys neck or something (??) .. combining that with some blood test if I recall right...
..the results came back good, so I stopped, didn't go any further...... 

Here is a break down of all the Tests available today ...

Prenatal Digagnosis Center, High Risk Preganancy Care, Genetic Counseling, Ultrasound, Prenatal Screenings, 

Congratulations -that's so exciting .. I think having kids later makes us feel young..but then on the other hand... I look at our youngest like a "measuring rod" to our old age...when he goes to college is when H will be retiring -type thing... so not so sure that is so wonderful....


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I'm 42 this year, my husband and I stopped using birth control about a year ago. No baby yet, and I'm honestly losing hope. Every month that goes by without a pregnancy just rams it home even more that I'm never going to have my own baby 

We agreed on no IVF before we started...IVF isn't right for us, it's a rollercoaster ride and a huge strain on a marriage. We want our own child, but not at any cost. Neither of us are willing to put our marriage at risk for that to happen.

If it doesn't happen on its own, then it wasn't meant to be.

And to be clear - IVF is not right for US. Our decision is purely based on what is right for us and our family, we don't have an opinion on what other couples decide to do.


----------



## KeepingUpAppearances (Jul 14, 2013)

Congrats! I got pregnant with my youngest now 2 at 43. I delivered at 44. The pregnancy was good overall, though I ended up having to have a c-section. It is a roller coaster ride emotionally because of all the stuff on the web. 

You need to have a good OBGYN that is supportive of mature mamas. A good online group to chat with is helpful too. 

The only testing I got was the blood and ultrasound combo and specific weeks during pregnancy. ( can't remember what it's called). I did put myself on bed rest and took it easier when I wasn't working. He is the joy of our life and his siblings adore him.

Good Luck!


----------



## lifeisbetterthanalternat (Apr 24, 2012)

My wife had baby at 39. Our doctor scared the crap out of us with stats about increases of this or that when you are over 40. I think you should take this with a grain of salt as the doctors are obligated to tell you of the increased risks. The risks for fetal abnormalities go up in multiples as do risks to mom. 

Keep in mind it is all relative...statistically your risks are higher relate to a younger person but, the chances are still remote that everything will be ok.

That said I would encourage you (assuming approved by your doctor) to do some sort of strength training (especially the core and anything that will prevent injury) as should your husband. Parenting young children WILL keep you young but, it is a physical game. I know allot of older parents that develop back problems as a result. This is probably a greater likelihood then actual fetal or maternity problems. 

You will be exposed to an increased exposure for fetal abmormality tests that were not given years ago. You may find this to be a nail biting experience. 

My wife loves having babies as do I so i am biased...God bless you and your new baby!!


----------



## DanaS (May 28, 2014)

frusdil said:


> I'm 42 this year, my husband and I stopped using birth control about a year ago. No baby yet, and I'm honestly losing hope. Every month that goes by without a pregnancy just rams it home even more that I'm never going to have my own baby
> 
> We agreed on no IVF before we started...IVF isn't right for us, it's a rollercoaster ride and a huge strain on a marriage. We want our own child, but not at any cost. Neither of us are willing to put our marriage at risk for that to happen.
> 
> ...


I am so very sorry to hear that. I can only imagine what it feels like. I think what has helped me is I have already given birth to a child. Also I have heard that BC long-term can mess up ones fertility, have you taken it for many years? 

As for me, fortunately my morning sickness isn't any better/worse than when I had my daughter at 21. And my husband has been very supportive and always asks if I need anything. He has even been excited to go look at some baby stuff


----------

