# please help..intimacy no longer exists..why doesnt he want me?



## notwanted (Dec 1, 2013)

I have been married for 5years..my husband and I enjoyed a normal sex life..once/twice a week..we held hands..gave each other kisses after work..the past few months sex went from once a week to once every 2weeks ..now starting to go into once a month...when I try to initiate sex he turns me down...when I try to hold his hand now he speeds up...I go for a kiss and he turns his face to give me the cheek...I tried to talk to him about it but he gets explosivly angry..says all I think about is sex...I very gently tried to explain that it just isnt normal....I was smoking & drinking wine every once in a while..so I stopped doing that & started the ekectronic cigarette. .still nada..I have gained a few pounds -not much..I still get hit on at work & am desired by other men...why doesnt he want me? Its killing my self esteem not to mention our marriage..any advice would be appreciated


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Could he be seeing someone else?

Secretly addicted to porn?

Those are possibilities.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

If these changes happened suddenly I would suspect an affair.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> If these changes happened suddenly I would suspect an affair.


Yeah, that big of a drop-off that quickly along with the inappropriate anger and the distancing (not wanting to hold hands) ... I would suspect at the very best somebody has his attention and at the very worst, he is actively involve in an affair.


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## Bamzor (Aug 15, 2012)

You need to look at his cell phone text/call log. (just log in your phone providers account) See if any number shows up more often...or at same times.. like drive to work. Is he guarding his phone like it is his life? Look at his history of texts/pics etc.. Look at emails. This is how I found out my wife was having an affair. She started disconnecting from me... sex was a hassle. ..."Why do you always want it".... Duh...we never do it. Most affairs show signs of struggle in the bedroom... not all cases.
If he is not... go see a counselor... get use to talking with each other again.


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## Aule (Aug 20, 2012)

Checklist:
1) Excessive work-load
2) Worries about money
3) Midlife issues
4) Inlaws
5) Fear of being embarrassed by erective dysfunction
6) Fear of being embarrassed by premature ejaculation
7) Other


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Whilst I know (from experience) being rejected hits hard, please don't jump to the conclusion that he is having an affair.

He might have developed diabetes - which is becoming more and more common - which can reduce libido and cause erectile difficulties. Your husband may have realsied he is having problems.
Believe me, if a guy starts having problems getting it up, it hits us hard and we would rather sweep the problem under the carpet than deal with it head on.
Imagine how he would feel if you are (forgive me) giving him a lovely BJ but he can't get hard?

But yes...he could also be getting it elsewhere. Before you accuse him of being over the side, please go down the medical path first.


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