# He's Obsessed with our marriage counselor, what should i do?



## dcmarie (Sep 8, 2012)

Last year i almost left my husband after 19yrs of marriage. He is a very difficult, verbally abusive, disrespectful man. He asked me to go to marriage counseling with him so i did. This appeared to help, after about 5 visits with the therapist we were given a list of helpful books to read together. I read half of one of the five books, he, at the time read non but things seemed ok. My husband recently lost his father and my girls and i moved in with his mother who has dementia (she needs 24hr care) this was a trial run. The weekend before i moved in to care for his mother we went to a community picnic. There my husband reverted back to his old ways ogling other women (to the obvious point of embarrassment). When i brought it to his attention, he seemed irritated with me but admitted it was an issue, especially because the woman who he was undressing/screwing in his mind was our marriage counselor. So, the girls and i are living with his mom and he comes to visit 3 days a week. Seems more attentive, affectionate with me. I know he is feeling depressed because he lost his dad, then his mom to dementia and now his wife and girls to caring for his mom. But his visits continue and his sexual drive is now in over load???? He talks about coloring his hair, getting hair plugs, is now taking the little blue pill and testosterone pills????? He talks to my best friend about how he is in sexual overdrive and other intimate things. For 15yrs of our marriage i have had to beg attention out of him, so i'm thinking "who is this man and what have you done with my husband". So, the move proved to difficult to my family and we moved home with mom moving in with us. I found out last night that while i was away caring for his mom, he has been seeing our marriage counselor behind my back, a woman he had a thing for. I am livid! I cannot believe all of his changes were for the benefit of our relationship, i cannot get past the anger and feel as if actions toward me were intended for the counselor. Am i acting inappropriately, i'm pissed!


----------



## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Seeing your marriage counselor....like "seeing" her "dating" her? or "seeing" her for sessions without you?

Either one is WRONG! If he was ogling her, how can she not notice (whether that day or later) that he has a 'thing' for her? Is she obtuse? Why would she see him w/o seeing you both? If he has a wandering eye, he should be seeing a MALE counselor for individual therapy, not a female, and especially not a female HE'S BEEN OGLING.

You've put up with his verbal ABUSE and his disrespect for 19 years. You've been begging him for attention for a decade and a half. You went to marriage counseling because he requested it. How many more chances are you going to give him? When is it time to walk away and look for your dignity??? (I'm pretty sure he took it out with the trash about 19 years ago!)


----------



## dcmarie (Sep 8, 2012)

I should have made it clear... he is seeing her in private counseling sessions.


----------

