# Productive men and sex drive.



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

So I had a contract end earlier than expected and, though I was glad to come home to Mrs. C, it impacted our plans negatively.

I had sex as soon as we got home from the airport, she looked amazing, but not since and it's been about a week and a half. My sex drive went south when I didn't have work lined up. I was also depressed.

I just got another contract and it's a good one and I almost immediately overcome depression and started looking at Mrs. Conan like a particularly well prepared steak again. 
The odds of her getting lucky tonight are very good.

I'm wondering how common it is that productivity is associated with sex drive in men?

It's observably a major factor for this barbarian's libido.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Probably very normal. I think anything affecting self confidence or anything related to how you value yourself will affect overall mood and that would affect sex drive. I'd be surprised if there are no studies on this. I would think any man who puts a high value on himself as a provider would be strongly affected by a work setback sex drive included. Work stress might be the only thing that affects me in that sense.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

DH says not directly, but indirectly. He says he can still want to have sex, but it won't be as good due to mood. He also says the older he gets the more being idle affects his mood and, therefore, his drive.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

Winning at something or having a sports team that you root for win will raise testosterone levels and would in that way affect sex drive positively. Losing or having your team lose has the negative effect. I'm sure losing or winning a contract would have the same effect.

Fans of winning teams have higher testosterone study.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Hiner112 said:


> Winning at something or having a sports team that you root for will raise testosterone levels and would in that way affect sex drive positively. Losing or having your team lose has the negative effect. I'm sure losing or winning a contract would have the same effect.
> 
> Fans of winning teams have higher testosterone study.


That's interesting!


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I think that feeling good about yourself can in general raise one's sex drive 

For men I would imagine that productivity is a big contributor to feeling good about yourself. For women it has a lot to do with body image.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I'd say normal, and guys should pay attention. It's been this way forever imo. And good thing!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> I think that feeling good about yourself can in general raise one's sex drive
> 
> For men I would imagine that productivity is a big contributor to feeling good about yourself. For women it has a lot to do with body image.


WOW!

If women's libido goes south about body image like mine does when I don't have work lined up, that really opens my eyes and helps me understand something I really didn't have a clue about.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> WOW!
> 
> If women's libido goes south about body image like mine does when I don't have work lined up, that really opens my eyes and helps me understand something I really didn't have a clue about.


When you retire, you will have to get involved with lots of other stuff.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> When you retire, you will have to get involved with lots of other stuff.


That could prove an interesting plight.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> That could prove an interesting plight.


Yep, it can be. I've been fortunate to be involved in our church structure through the last 20 yrs and have seen many retired men and women step into leadership roles and gain that sense of doing something very worthwhile.

The one thing that's consistent is that all say I'm retired but I'm busier than ever 🙂.

From renovations to food programs to just being there for folks going through hard times and good times I get a certain amount of satisfaction through volunteering.

Yes there are many other organizations ie people to help besides church so anyone who retorts slamming religious activities can kiss my butt ahead of time. 😉🤣👍👍.

We still love you.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

ConanHub said:


> That could prove an interesting plight.


I think you’ve got a few years left in you before retiring.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Mine is getting closer btw. W will retire first in theory.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Back when the oil and gas industry was in a down turn I had the exact same experience. For what ever reason when I’m on top my work game I’m also on top Mrs. Married.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

It is interesting and good that man is wired this way. Historically so much building and huge construction projects have been completed over the last few thousand years that can be attributed to guys and their women.

Don't forget the wars started over women too. Almost forgot that.

See? It's almost always about women!
🤣🤣🤣


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Diana7 said:


> When you retire, you will have to get involved with lots of other stuff.


A friend and I were talking about this very thing recently....how studies have shown that it's important to maintain structure and purpose after retirement.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> WOW!
> 
> If women's libido goes south about body image like mine does when I don't have work lined up, that really opens my eyes and helps me understand something I really didn't have a clue about.


I hear that anything which furthers understanding of the female libido is quite valuable in these parts 😂


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> I think you’ve got a few years left in you before retiring.


Definitely. I honestly don't believe I will ever have an empty plate. I'm probably always going to have some project I'm working on.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

There was a wise old lady at one of my former jobs that was a bit of my mentor and life coach for awhile. 

She used to say that ****s would rise and fall with the stock market. 

She told me that her H was usually a tiger and stud in bed and would wear her out all the time, and then their business went into a big slump and ultimately went into bankruptcy and couldn't get it up with a crane for months and months until he found another job. 

It is a thing. For many men their sense of masculinity and virility is tied closely with their productivity and financial success. Their libido will rise and fall with their bottom line.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

Your mental attitude has a *HUGE* effect on sexual performance and drive. ED is often caused by performance anxiety or other emotional / psychological issues. Psychological issues would include sense of self worth in measuring up to the standard of needing to be productive.

I was temorarily castrated for most of 2020 to treat cancer. No testosterone, no libido. _NONE. _I was able to continue being sexually active each and every day because I used the mental factor to substitute for the testosterone driven libido.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

What's funny is I still masturbated, probably just as much as I ever have but I just wasn't getting that usual magnetic pull for my Mrs.


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## BecauseSheWeeps (10 mo ago)

Thank you for this. I guess this just reiterates why my husband's sex drive is huge when things are going great with the men's club that he's in. Or when things go very well with work. If he gets bored, then sex is down the tube.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Julie's Husband said:


> Your mental attitude has a *HUGE* effect on sexual performance and drive. ED is often caused by performance anxiety or other emotional / psychological issues. Psychological issues would include sense of self worth in measuring up to the standard of needing to be productive.
> 
> I was temorarily castrated for most of 2020 to treat cancer. No testosterone, no libido. _NONE. _I was able to continue being sexually active each and every day because I used the mental factor to substitute for the testosterone driven libido.


Women too. I can overcome hormone drag if I'm mentally up for it.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> What's funny is I still masturbated, probably just as much as I ever have but I just wasn't getting that usual magnetic pull for my Mrs.


You're a dominant type guy and a lot of women are drawn to that as you well know. Your wife probably senses the fluctuations in your feelings of power and responds.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> You're a dominant type guy and a lot of women are drawn to that as you well know. Your wife probably senses the fluctuations in your feelings of power and responds.


That's food for thought.

Along the lines of woman and self image, Mrs. C has been hitting some fitness goals and is very trim at around 105. She's been very amorous and that would compute with her feeling good about the way she looks.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

So I was thinking about this during my workout earlier and I was wondering if what is really going on here is anxiety.

So if you don’t have anything lined up, anxious. If you feel bad about your body, anxious. Wondering if this can be grouped with other anxiety causing events?


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

ccpowerslave said:


> So I was thinking about this during my workout earlier and I was wondering if what is really going on here is anxiety.
> 
> So if you don’t have anything lined up, anxious. If you feel bad about your body, anxious. Wondering if this can be grouped with other anxiety causing events?


Yes, anxiety is a very common libido killer. And of course, anxiety of not being able to provide might make it hard to see the wife desiring one.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

lifeistooshort said:


> Women too. I can overcome hormone drag if I'm mentally up for it.


Ha! No kidding. For men, one of the best things that can happen is for their lovers to make demands or to attempt to give a loved one pleasure. They find that their lover's libido gets them up and going as well. My wife had an instant fix for those days when I didn't get to my daily "exercise" (producing an erection) while I was castrate.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> What's funny is I still masturbated, probably just as much as I ever have but I just wasn't getting that usual magnetic pull for my Mrs.


Yep very normal. We like to think our man brains a simple (compared to womens yes) but too much stress and anxiety can literally kill you. If you're like me once you get the next contract lined up and the stress goes, the libido will come back with a fury, might want to mentally prepare Mrs. C for that possibility. 

I was in your position a few years ago. I had massive stress due to a lawsuit. There was a good 4-5 weeks of complete stress and aggravation, no libido for real sex but I was masturbating every night to destress. We had a mediation and we came to a settlement that basically made it a wash compared to going to a trial. That night I banged my wife 3 times she didn't know what hit her. Sometimes you don't realized how stressed you are until the stress is gone and you realize how much better you feel.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Yep very normal. We like to think our man brains a simple (compared to womens yes) but too much stress and anxiety can literally kill you. If you're like me once you get the next contract lined up and the stress goes, the libido will come back with a fury, might want to mentally prepare Mrs. C for that possibility.
> 
> I was in your position a few years ago. I had massive stress due to a lawsuit. There was a good 4-5 weeks of complete stress and aggravation, no libido for real sex but I was masturbating every night to destress. We had a mediation and we came to a settlement that basically made it a wash compared to going to a trial. That night I banged my wife 3 times she didn't know what hit her. Sometimes you don't realized how stressed you are until the stress is gone and you realize how much better you feel.


Yup. I just wore her out and let her know to clue me in if she can go again later. 😋


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Julie's Husband said:


> Yes, anxiety is a very common libido killer. And of course, anxiety of not being able to provide might make it hard to see the wife desiring one.


It doesn’t do that for me. I want to screw even more when I have anxiety at least with my wife. Maybe not a random stranger.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> It doesn’t do that for me. I want to screw even more when I have anxiety at least with my wife. Maybe not a random stranger.


I'm not able to do it when I'm mad or anxious. Mrs. C certainly can though! LoL!


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

ConanHub said:


> I'm not able to do it when I'm mad or anxious. Mrs. C certainly can though! LoL!


Right now I have medium anxiety and I have to say if paired with someone with an equal libido who also had a similar attitude towards work I could go a couple times before dinner.


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