# She's guilty of what she accusses me of



## DeeOne (Jan 1, 2012)

my wife always accuses me of being with another women, when I go out she always asks if I danced with other women etc. I don't even go to clubs! This has gone on for years. Clearly she has trust issues. Just found out she lied about a dinner and ended up in a club and was dancing with other men. When I called her on the lie I used her own text messages to prove I was right. The next days involved a few arguments and recently she slipped up and said every time she has gone out she has danced with other men. For years her thing was that she only dances with her female friends and doesn't dance with men cause shes married etc. Things now make sense why I am always being accused of crap and thats her guilty conscious eating her alive. Now knowing that I have been disrespected for many years I feel like all respect has been lost for me clearly, and I too now feel like I have no respect for her or even wish to try and make things better. Am I over reacting? I mean she has been lying for years and gives me crap every damn time I go out!!!!:scratchhead::scratchhead:

Most importantly many years ago we both agreed that me dancing with other women and her dancing with other men was a no no...of course she brought this up cause I do not go out dancing at all!


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Projection. That is what cheaters usually do. The deeper you dig, the more you will find out. Don't be surprised if there are more skeletons in the closet


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

You know what you have to do.


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## DeeOne (Jan 1, 2012)

Appreciate the replies. 

That's the thing, I really don't know what to do. All I know is that when I do IT I want it to feel right. I am also 250 miles away and have been for the past year only seeing her on the weekends (in the military).


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

GNO/BNO destroys yet another marriage. Why in the world do people think their spouse is going out drinking and nothing is going to happen. I've even seen a new bride drop her pants for a one night stand in a club parking lot.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

There's a high chance she had a physical affair (s), I don't buy this whole dancing BS it must've gone well beyond that. Loneliness, alcohol and horny men isn't a good combination. I think you have to make a character judgement. Is this the type of person you can trust, spend the rest of your life with and most importantly love again.

From the tone of your post I suspect it's a No to all three and I don't blame you to be honest.


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## DeeOne (Jan 1, 2012)

I highly doubt I can ever do either, the fact knowing that she was doing this before we even got married is killing me. Had I known before I wouldn't of even married her. When she said to me the other day "what's the problem I have always dance with other men when I go out" even she paused, clearly telling herself "oh sh*t I f'ed up". I'm trying to understand the mentality of a girl that has soo much to loose just says "F it, I'm gonna gamble it all". smh


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## DeeOne (Jan 1, 2012)

What is GNO/BNO?


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

DeeOne said:


> What is GNO/BNO?


girls night out/boys night out... drinking ,clubbing, partying without spouse/partner


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Girls night out/Boys night out. You will find its very common for the person doing dirt to accuse their partner of the same. My exHusband did this all the time. That is why when he cheated it totally and completey blind-sided me. I never ever suspected a thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DeeOne (Jan 1, 2012)

Again I appreciate all replies...

I said the same in regards to her accussing me, she has to be doing something for this guilt trip but what. I knew she had it too easy, not to many question asking on my end when she went out or checking up on etc. I started to apply alittle pressure and she blew up her own spot. I have friends that see married women in clubs as a challenge and hearing their stories on how some give something in by the end of the night is nuts.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

DeeOne said:


> Again I appreciate all replies...
> 
> I said the same in regards to her accussing me, she has to be doing something for this guilt trip but what. I knew she had it too easy, not to many question asking on my end when she went out or checking up on etc. I started to apply alittle pressure and she blew up her own spot. I have friends that see married women in clubs as a challenge and hearing their stories on how some give something in by the end of the night is nuts.


Don't be surprised if that kind of friend hasn't been friendly with YOUR wife. Be more careful who you hang with. If they like gaming other mens wives they would get a special kick out of doing yours.

If you stay together, no way she keeps going out without you.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

DeeOne said:


> Again I appreciate all replies...
> 
> I said the same in regards to her accussing me, she has to be doing something for this guilt trip but what. I knew she had it too easy, not to many question asking on my end when she went out or checking up on etc. I started to apply alittle pressure and she blew up her own spot. I have friends that see married women in clubs as a challenge and hearing their stories on how some give something in by the end of the night is nuts.


Maybe I am out of touch with acceptable behavior of the younger generation.

To me, call it GNO/BNO or whatever, any activity that involves a married person going to a club/bar and mingle with member of the opposite sex without the spouse present is unacceptable. 

I don't really care if they go with girl friends, best buddies, guys from the church softball team or what - it is an explosion waiting to happen.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

TDSC60 said:


> Maybe I am out of touch with acceptable behavior of the younger generation.
> 
> To me, call it GNO/BNO or whatever, any activity that involves a married person going to a club/bar and mingle with member of the opposite sex without the spouse present is unacceptable.
> 
> I don't really care if they go with girl friends, best buddies, guys from the church softball team or what - it is an explosion waiting to happen.


You would think this is obvious wouldn't you? But if this crosses one spouses boundaries, especially the husbands, that spouse is branded a controlling maniac.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

What ever became of this Dee?


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Probably nothing, since he hasn't logged on since Jan 1.


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