# You'll make it through



## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

It's been 5 months since my H left.

For those of you who are new to this, just hang in there, it WILL get better with time.
When he first left, I could barely get out of bed in the morning, I never thought I would be able to make it through life without him.

Guess what? I'm still alive.

I won't lie, I still have my moments and I do miss him like crazy, but they are moments and don't consume my entire day like they used to.

I spend time with my friends, I spend time with my kids, I volunteer, I read, I pray, I laugh.
Don't sit around moping because it won't change anything, it makes you feel worse.

If your able to, I would highly recommend counseling for yourself. I have been going for over 6 months now and it has made all the difference in the world. I feel like a new, more confident woman and I have come a long way.

Keep your chin up, and keep on keepin' on
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Amen, and good for you....us. I am with you, it can still hurt sometimes, but it's less and less. Laughing comes much easier.


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## 6foot5 (Jun 15, 2011)

Sounds just like me at this moment , dont know really what to do with myself even though we are still under the same roof , but separation will happen very soon and divorce will follow no matter what . It just feels like my head is so full of of negative thoughts that there is no room for positive thinking , its just so f hard ...
If I may ask , what sort of counselling are you going to ? I think I could use some sort of counselling just dont know where to start .


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

DG I agree with you. I have started to feel a bit better now. Although like you still get days when I miss him so much, and only remember the good times. On days like those, I totally forget all the bad things, and have to remind myself of the reality. I still have bad days for example I now often have to work weekends for financial reasons, he does too ,and I think of the good times we used to have on our weekends, and then I just go home and cry. But I am working with my emotions. 
I read somewhere that you can grieve, and cry and experience all those things which you actually do need to go through to come out the other side, but you can do that along side continuing with your life and living it. So even though it is not the life I would have chosen currently, I continue with it.
I take most opportunities to go out, even if I don’t want to particularly at times. Nobody will fix this and we have to do it ourselves. I have limited funding for counselling, but agree it can be very useful.
I have only just got back concentration for reading. I have found this book to be helpful.
The Journey from abandonment to healing-Susan Anderson
It discusses surviving and recovering from the five stages that accompany the loss of love.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

6foot5 said:


> If I may ask , what sort of counseling are you going to ? I think I could use some sort of counseling just don't know where to start .


I see a woman on a weekly basis and we talk about a variety of different things.
I don't sit on the couch and rehash the past, because that is pointless. Instead, I focus on the present and how I can be the best person I can be.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

Thank you DG for the encouragement. 

I think I should start seeing a counselor. I want to move on.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

I would think staying in the same house would make it very hard to move forward.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Oak (Mar 21, 2011)

Well said DG


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Someone please get me a house to move into!!!!!

I have had my fill of apartments prior to purchasing this house with my new wife, ahhhh the start of a lifetime of family traditions and love and warmth.... (oops! affair, halt, stop, get out,)


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

Exactly 

If nothing else this is a time to show yourself what you're really made of. A year ago I would have never seen myself where I am. I truly saw me figuring out how to make it work or get him going again push forward..

But this time that I've had here with my family and myself has shown and taught me so much I didn't know about who I am. I've said it before and I will say it again too, I am so thankful that I don't look into another relationship before checking out of the first one. The time you need to recover and move on is so essential.

Everyone has their moments. Stupid things trigger mine..like watching a movie, certain songs, always seemingly stupid too will send me reeling. But we all wake up the next day, and we all carry one and there IS better out there for all of us, or at least happiness.

Kudos to us!


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

Great post, DG! Very true. It's so hard to see through all the tears and the sadness, but on the other side, your happiness awaits. You hold the key to how you feel, only you can decide whether you will lie on the ground and cry or stand proud and smile. 

Definitely learn to live for yourself. I was told over and over again I'd feel better as soon as I let go, and I didn't believe it. I held on kicking and screaming. But everyone was right.


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