# HELP PLEASE



## ScorpionGuy (Apr 15, 2021)

Hi first time posting looking for some help 
Here’s my story ( a little bit long )
My Fiancé and I have been together going on 9 years currently going through the hardest time of our relationship and possibly the end. 

We met in 2012 and began a relationship she was 18 I was 21. A few months in I caught her talking to another guy and I decided to be done with her. Shortly after she told me she was pregnant with our first son. I decided to stay and forgave her because I genuinely love her and wanted to be in our sons life. We were good for about 3 years until 2015 when I caught her talking to the same guy and another person. I was devastated and my heart was broken.
I lost my confidence and it was a big moment in my life.I never experienced those feelings and I always was popular, good at sports, and it was the first time I was stripped of everything and felt not my self. I left her alone for about a week after this but I was so sad And I wanted to see the good in her I came back and we decided to try to make it work.
Looking back now this possibly could have been the turning point in our relationship.

I took her back but I told myself I would never let her get back where she was to hurt me again. I was damaged and I didn’t even realize until I started doing my own terrible things. 

We were good and I believed she changed 
until I got caught talking to a female in 2016 (strictly texts)

In 2017 a female told my fiancé I came to a hotel planning to meet with her
Since that day I decided I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship because I know how it felt and I honestly love her.
We also had 2 more kids between 2015-2019.
I asked her to marry me in 2019 on our anniversary and we were expecting our fourth child.
He was born in aug 2020 making it a total of 3 boys and 1 girl.
A few weeks after his birth, my fiancé and I began not seeing eye to eye. She basically said that I didn’t help with the kids enough or spend enough time with her and she wanted to be done. 

Initially, I resisted but part of me wanted to give her what she always asked for. Anytime we would get into a fight she would always say she wanted to be done and me to leave.
I felt like I always was the one trying to keep the relationship together and I had to let her see if what she asked for was what she really wanted.

So in September 2020 I left our home and started living in hotels and air bnbs. 
Shortly after I met a female. I wasn’t looking for a relationship at all and it was crazy that I even did because I really am anti social and don’t really have many friends.

We started hanging out pretty frequent and one day my fiancé caught the new female and I together outside my job.

The next 7 months became hell.
I contracted std (had no symptoms) from new female not knowingly went back to my fiancé and gave it to her. September and october I was back and forth between home trying to figure it out and hotels. I ended up going back to talking to new female and this started couple months of fiancé chasing me in hotels putting gps trackers on my car trashing my car etc. 

I started staying at my sisters house with new female and around December I didn’t like the way my life was playing out .
I wanted my family I wanted my kids. 
Even though I had someone who wanted nothing but to make me happy and was all about me I wanted my family . My Fiancé stopped chasing me and she was going out and starting to begin what I saw as going down a road we could never come back from.

December I decided I had to get my family back at all costs. I came and begged fiancée to be back with me. She didn’t want to but gave in after I showed her through actions I wanted her and to be home with my family.
I left new female out to dry after telling her she could stay with me and cut contact for a week.
New female ends up getting in contact with fiancé and tells everything about what we did everything I told her ( so much stuff).

from that point in started an all out back and forth social media war between fiancée and new female.
Finally seemed to get over that temporarily 
Until now new female gets back in contact with fiancée saying I’ve been talking to her the whole time. Meeting her during the day. 
Probably ruining any chance we had to make this work. 
now currently own home together have 4 kids
She wants to be done. Claims too much hurt done and what’s to leave.
Problem is it’s so hard for me to the point I want to hurt myself. I can’t eat think do anything regular when I am like this and I don’t know what to do. We still live in the same house and sleep in the same bed but she has no interest or hope anymore for us. I just don’t know if it’s time to give up.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

ScorpionGuy said:


> Hi first time posting looking for some help
> Here’s my story ( a little bit long )
> My Fiancé and I have been together going on 9 years currently going through the hardest time of our relationship and possibly the end.
> 
> ...


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Ugh, well things can improve but you need to break the cycle of your fiance and you. You both are poison for eachother.


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## Offkilter123 (Dec 2, 2020)

You are both very immature and seem to lack emotional intelligence. I would suggest separation (with no dating or sex with each other or others) and then IC for both of you.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

First of all, STOP KNOCKING PEOPLE UP!! Good Lord, you've already brought 4 kids into this mess, no more!! 

You're going to be stricken with mouths to feed and child support etc for at least 18 more years so lop your balls if you have to but for all that is holy in the world, do not bring any more kids into this. 

As far as the rest of this slow motion train wreck, there is no simple, painless solution, you are just going to have to suck it up and work it out day by day, piece by piece. 

If I ruled the world, no one under 25 would even be able to get married or have kids or any kind of legally binding type of commitment or cohabitation etc until they had the financial maturity and financial resources to manage a home and family. 

I know that doesn't help you out of this predicament now but what you can do is get a job to help pay for all these kids and keep everyone housed, fed and clothed, keep your junk in your pants and don't bring any more kids into this train wreck. 

Just keep plugging through it day by day for the next 18 years and don't screw anything else up and impress upon your kids not to get pregnant/knock anyone up so they don't repeat the cycle and you have a house full of grand babies in a dozen years. 

This is just kind of a grow up and get your shyte together kind of situation.


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

I agree you two are toxic for each other. If kids were not involved I do not think either of you would be trying to fix things.

You two need a clean break and individual counseling to grow as people.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Are you sure all the kids are yours? By sure, I mean DNA tests. Not just that ego says they look like you because chances are she might just like to bang guys who "look like you"


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