# Should I seek outside, professional help...?



## DeepPurple (May 22, 2012)

I've been married to my wife for more than 10 years now. 

When we got married, everything was great. We had a nice house, a few pets, and we made it a regular thing to go out at least once or twice a week and enjoy ourselves. We went on trips and cruises and everything was beautiful.

In about our third year of marriage, she started having really bad, really "dark" (as she described them) depressive episodes, she would cry uncontrollably and she would often sleep for hours on end or rarely leave the house.

Took her to a psychiatrist who diagnosed her with bipolar disorder and put her on a bunch of medications (zoloft, lithium and potassium). That seemed to work for a while. But, unfortunately her psychiatrist went on a sabbatical and disappeared. 

Fast forward several years, many different medications and several different doctors. We finally get a new PCP, and he tries several medications (Effexor, Wellbutrin and many others), nothing seems to work. Finally, we run across a medication called Pristiq which seems to help with her depression, but does little for her anxiety. She's takes this and is given Xanax PRN for the anxiety. This works for a little while. 

All this time, she has become pretty much a recluse, never going out much due to anxiety and panic attacks (even the PRN Xanax doesn't help with those), she gained a considerable amount of weight, not visiting with family or friends. Pretty much shutting the world out.

Last year, after having a panic attack at the PCP's office, the doctor refers her to a Psychiatrist and a therapist. This was last August. She starts going to the therapist on a weekly basis and the psychiatrist once a month. The psych adds Klonopin to her regimen. Things start looking up for once in many, many years.

Then, a trip with the family rolls around. She's all hyped up about going. But, we run into a snag with the trip and it ends up messing things up. We end up having to cancel. This was last November. 

Since then, she's crawled back into her hole. She doesn't go out, she stopped seeing the therapist and she keeps canceling/rescheduling her psychiatrists appointments.

Now it's nearly June, six months have gone by since she's locked out the world again, and I am at a loss about what to do at this point.

I've exhausted every avenue I can to try to get her help, I even met with her parents and her other family members to discuss her issues, but they haven't been much help at all and, at first, they didn't think she had any problems at all.

I've talked to her PCP, but his only suggestion was to walk away from the situation (he's also my PCP).

I haven't been able to talk to her psychiatrist on a 1 to 1 basis because I am with her when she goes to the appointments. There's never really a time where I can talk to him alone. I never had a chance to talk to her therapist either because she stopped seeing him.

So, my question is...what do I do at this point? Is there anyone that has been in a similar situation? Do I consider talking to her parents about getting real professional, outside - possibly long term - help? Do I have her committed? Do I walk away? Do I have myself committed? 

I'm at the end of my rope here and don't know what to do aside from giving up, and I really don't want to do that...


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

First see if there is a NAMI group that meets in your area or something similar. They have groups for family members. You need out side help for your self and it is a shame that her family is not getting involved and supporting you.
See if there is a therapist that will come to your home and see if ins. covers this. I would say that it is time to get something going. Medication is fine and helps but it sounds like the other forms of treatment are not being used. Exercise, diet, talk therapy, really help to manage it. 
BTW my H is bipolar and I had him in a mental ward at the local hospital for a week and seven hours. He got high on his kolonopin and tried to kill him self. It was a horrible week but he learned a lot during his stay there. Really bounced him back in to managing his disorder. Now he is only on mood stabilizer and once in a while uses a sleep medication. So the above is my suggestion. In my opinion I would seek out side help for self and may be even the wife. Call the crisis nurse at your local hospital and see what resources there are in your area.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

Please please get help for your self and take a break you can only do and take so much. You are useless to her if you are not taking care of your all around health.


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## DeepPurple (May 22, 2012)

How do I "take a break"?


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