# how to spice things up? suggestions welcome.



## rattlertx17 (May 8, 2012)

Wife and I have been married almost 3 years. We have a great relationship and things have definitely gotten better after starting to work out again. We are both physically attracted to each other and enjoy sex. Lately it seems we start it the same, go through the motions, and check it off a to-do list. Definitely not her fault or mine, just havent found anything new in a while that makes us both excited to get down. We introduced watching porn together a couple times but not sure it is her favorite. I suggested oil/massage, which we like but dont do all the time because it is messy, kind of save for date nights. Basically looking for suggestions as to some new things to add to our repertoire to spice things up. Toys? Techniques? Finger here? Mouth there? etc... I am open to suggestions too, things I would enjoy. Am pretty conservative but am open to ideas of things to suggest to her to try on me. Maybe she would have more fun during if she knew I was over the clouds, I know I enjoy it more when I know she is. 

Another concern, when going down on her, she seems to be way more ticklish than enjoying it. She is generally pushing my head away and ready for it to be over with. One of my concerns is that once she said she gets nervous when she feels like she is going to orgasm because she feels like she will "wet herself". From what I understand that sensation is normal, but doesnt actually occur. Any way to get her to keep going when she gets that feeling or get the entire act to be less ticklish and more enjoyable? She has been incredibly accommodating on most things in this area of our marriage, want to make sure she is as happy as I am.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

If you don't have kids, you could make a game of sex by saying, we can't have sex in our bed for two weeks. We have to sex in other places. You could make her sit on your lap while you have dinner. You could pretend to be connected at the hip during meal prep or clean up, she uses your arms to wash and wipe or slice and dice. <- very messy but fun with the right attitude. Whenever a commercial for a car comes on, you loose an article of clothing. Whenever a commercial for a household consumable comes on, she looses and article of clothing. A commercial for a movie or TV show, you both have to remove something.

Essentially, you need to take sex out of the bedroom on a regular basis.

The last part of your post, lots of younger women are afraid to orgasm during cunilingus. To get her over the "hump" remove you mouth when she's near her orgasm and just use your fingers.


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## relationshipsguide_gal (Apr 6, 2013)

i actually have the same problem of feeling like i'm gonna 'wet myself'. what helps for me though is that my fiance lets me use the bathroom first.. (to help remove my anxiety).

buy her sexy lingerie. usually a girl who wears and sees herself often in sexy lingerie will eventually feel sexy and in-the-mood .. also, set the mood in your bedroom. 

you might also want to try playing cuddling-without-sex (hugging, touching, kissing but with strict rule of NO sex). this will actually make you YEARN for sex. best of luck! - mae (relationshipsguide_gal)


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