# Says he will do whatever to stop the divorce



## Kharma (Jan 21, 2009)

Without a long drawn out story about who did what, here is the scoop.
It's been 10 years of a very lonely marriage because he is very self centered. I use this term matter of factly, not as a complaint. We have 2 young children and I never ever wanted to raise my children in a split family. Unfortunately, it got to the point where it is not healthy for the children and a split family seems like a better option.
I got a lawyer and let him know we are getting a divorce. We already were in the process of selling our home. I have been looking for my own home for the children and I. He plans to move into one of our rentals.
The house goes on the market this weekend and he says he will do anything to stop this divorce. His promises have always been empty and unkept, but for the first time he admits that and sees he has been a rather selfish spouse.
I don't want a split family, especially for my children. But I am very much looking forward to a life where I exist.
The choice to proceed with the divorce means a purchase of my own home and moving on. The choice to give it a try means the purchase of a family home. (We cannot keep our current home) This future must be decided right now because with a business from home, we cannot rent and take time to decide.
Boggled beyond belief and cannot figure out what will be best for the children and also myself.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

W out knowing all the facts, I'm going w BOLT.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

You know this man and you know how likely what he is saying is genuinely in YOUR interest.

My read is that "he will do whatever to stop the divorce" = "he will say whatever he can to put you back how things were before."


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## Tobin (Jun 24, 2015)

The future must be decided right now because suddenly you can't keep your current home and you must decide between a family home or your own place?

Sorry but there are other options besides making a hasty decision that will decide the way your lives will forever be changed.


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## Kharma (Jan 21, 2009)

If there are options we haven't been able to think of, please share your ideas!
We cannot keep our home. The income that supports the family is run from a shop/warehouse on the property. The food that feeds the family is our farm. Renting won't provide the ability to take care of our family or provide an income.
While I agree this feels very hasty and not at all a good way to make a decision, I am having a hard time coming up with the other options. So, do please share your suggestions.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Kharma said:


> If there are options we haven't been able to think of, please share your ideas!
> We cannot keep our home. *The income that supports the family is run from a shop/warehouse on the property. The food that feeds the family is our farm. Renting won't provide the ability to take care of our family or provide an income.*
> While I agree this feels very hasty and not at all a good way to make a decision, I am having a hard time coming up with the other options. So, do please share your suggestions.



How are you going to replace this? That would seem to be the immediate issue. If it is with the sale of the proceeds the divorce will split those in half.

I would continue with the divorce, if he has been like this for 10 years he isn't changing. People rarely do in my experience.


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## Kharma (Jan 21, 2009)

The business is his and I would receive child support and maintenance (briefly). The farm is mine.
I agree, people rarely change, which is the logical side I am coming from. The more hopeful side is that maybe loosing everything is enough to be worth a change and my children won't have a split family. The latter is the position he says he is coming from. He claims he gets it now and things haven't been fair. Talk is cheap and time is short at this point and I don't want to make a wrong decision.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

WHy is time so short? What's the rush? How long does it take to see if the man is serious or not about making amends? Sometimes a stroke of lightning can change a person's perspective.
JMO


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