# Is This Legitimate? Or Did I Do It Out Of Spite?



## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Hi, all. Been a rough week. Ex spends every waking moment with OW in person and texting back and forth. She's 21. We have two young daughters, and it bugs the hell out of me that he's taken them out with him and her to restaurants while we were married and in front of people who know us well. Am I wrong to be bugged by that? I wrote him a text today saying I don't know if she and he are lovers, but I don't want her around my girls because it sends a bad message that 1. It's ok to break up a family and have an affair. and 2. It's ok to have an affair with a guy who is twice your age. He's mad and NOT communicating after I sent the text (that's how it always has been. Heaven forbid we actually TALK about something). I don't know if I did it to get back at him, or if it's a real concern. Maybe a little of both? Either way I felt better after I said it :smthumbup:


----------



## nodespair (Jun 4, 2011)

Hi, I am sorry you are going through this.
You probably did it for both reasons.
However, that being said I think you make a really good point. He wants to be an idiot and go out with a young girl who is probably just using him and will dump him in a couple of years, fine. He has moved on and you should too. You deserve better, he will regret what he has done maybe not anytime soon but he will. 
I think you should set some rules. You should let him know that you do not like him taking your daughters out with her, it will only confuse them and cause them a lot of pain. You should really do something about that. He can go out with her as much as he likes but by himself. Regardless this is a crucial time for your children, you should both be providing time for them and only them. Good luck and keep us updated. Your children are already dealing with so much and having to go out with daddy and this stranger will only make it worse for them. Stay strong, put your foot down because in the end you only want the best for your children. Also, make sure you sit and tell him this in person!


----------



## onceagain (May 31, 2011)

Is your divorce final? If not, he's DUMB for stepping out with another woman in front of your kids. I'd have to put my foot down too. So I think you are correct in what you said, maybe part of you did it to be spiteful, but maybe only 5%...95% was good intentions IMHO!!:smthumbup:


----------



## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

Divorce is not final, but I do need to move on. I'm having a really hard time doing that. It just really bothers me that my young daughters are being exposed to an idea I don't want them doing when they're 21.....and I imagine he wouldn't want that for them either.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How long have you been separated? My personal thought is that introducing new people to the kids too early is a really bad idea. The kids need the same opportunity to work through things that the grownups do.

As far as her age, I don't think you get any say in who he dates eventually... Sorry.

C


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You've made it clear you want out. What or who he does is no longer your concern. He has the right to make his own decisions, be they good or bad and he'll bear the consequences, if any.


----------



## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

But she gets a say about her minor children.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

She has an opinion. The Judge will have the only "say" that matters.


----------

