# Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for



## X-B

I finally installed a recorder in wifes car. I got all I needed in one day plus something I wish I never heard. She said she was ashamed to me seen in public with her and she would walk several feet away Married 25 years next month.I am fhicially ill now. I have call and cancelled the rest of my chemo and radiation. I now officially don't care anymore. I am doneWhen she leaves I lose all heat insurance. and home.


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## walkonmars

Don't do this to yourself. Get better if for no other reason than to spite her. If you're on her health ins you can make that part of the divorce benefits to you. Don't let her get away with this despicable and reprehensible behavior. 

Get yourself as many benefits as you can- see your lawyer immediately.


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## BK23

Hey man. Don't cancel your treatment. I know this is terrible and its consuming all your headspace, but there's so much more to life than your relationship.


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## Writer

I'm sorry that you are here, and I'm sorry what you heard. I know that it's horrible, and you probably feel like you are punched in the gut right now. 

Don't cancel your treatment, however. Get well for yourself, be healthy, and show her that, despite you being ill, you are strong and confident and can weather this. Although you may not feel like like it at this point.

Talk to your lawyer about what options that you have.


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## mablenc

Please don't stop treatment. Life is a gift, and an evil person like her is not worth it.

There are options in getting medical care, you also don't have to lose your home. Lawyer up.


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## badmemory

v8crazy,

I understand the urge to want to rid yourself of her. But don't do it at the expense of your health. Do it strategically. Talk to an attorney and don't spill the beans to her until you do.


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## EleGirl

v8crazy said:


> I finally installed a recorder in wifes car. I got all I needed in one day plus something I wish I never heard. She said she was ashamed to me seen in public with her and she would walk several feet away Married 25 years next month.I am fhicially ill now. I have call and cancelled the rest of my chemo and radiation. I now officially don't care anymore. I am doneWhen she leaves I lose all heat insurance. and home.


See an attorney. You need to file for a legal separation now. Have the attorney add to it that she has to carry you on her health insurance going forward.

If she forces it to a divorce or if your state does not have legal separation, you can have the divorce state that she has to provide you with health insurance. 

How long is your chemo? You can have your attorney stall the divorce while you are through with the treatment.

Yours is a case where Obamacare might be a good thing. Once it kicks in you will be able to get health insurance w/o preexisting conditions being an issue. If you have no income or low income you can get on Medicaid.

In the future come here for advice before you take radical actions like stopping your medical treatment. Please call them back and re-establish your treatment plan.


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## Catherine602

V your feelings of devastation are normal but they will pass and you will want to survive. Don't stop now. Your decision now may be irrevocable. 

No court will allow her to stop health care coverage. If her company stipulates taking an ex off of the plan then she will be instructed to buy the same quality for you. 

Same with the residence. The spouse that needs to stay put the most gets to stay. All is not lost. You will see, Speak to an attorney. 

It's your choice to assess the quality of your life when you get some distance from this but not now. Get through this first, keep up with your treatment. 

Do you have kids?


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## Vanguard

I hate this world. You deserve better.


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## Thorburn

V - I would go the same route you are heading, no more chemo, no more treatment, F the world. But that would all be in my head. Your world sucks. But don't let this tramp of a woman stop you from living. Don't.

She said and has done mean nasty things. Because she is a mean nasty POS.

Let her rot.

You, "V", need to take care of yourself. You are right now at one of the lowest points of your life. I am praying for you.


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## Remains

What she has said.....how on earth, why on earth are you letting her direct your feeling of self worth? Get to grips with the fact that she is far shallower than you ever imagined she would ever be and realise she is not the woman you thought she was. 

If she is not only embarrassed, but able to say that out loud, she is not worth another breath of yours to tell her 'get out'. 

What support is she? My god....I just want to rant and rant....I would never ever ever ever be that way to a loved one. God help her when she gets a serious disease that affects her physically. My god! I am flabbergasted. Do not let her direct your future! In fact, tell me where you live so I can come and kick you up the arse and into reality. DO NOT LET A SHALLOW HUMAN BEING DIRECT YOUR FUTURE! 

Am I clear?


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## missthelove2013

v8crazy said:


> I finally installed a recorder in wifes car. I got all I needed in one day plus something I wish I never heard. She said she was ashamed to me seen in public with her and she would walk several feet away Married 25 years next month.I am fhicially ill now. I have call and cancelled the rest of my chemo and radiation. I now officially don't care anymore. I am doneWhen she leaves I lose all heat insurance. and home.


dude...seriously...there IS LIGHT at the end of the tunnel
there is life after divorce

If she is justifying her affair to a posom or someone else, then OF COURSE she is going to say nasty crap about you...its how low cheating scum justify their actions

dont take it personal...dont listen to anything else this posws says...build your case, lawyer up, and take out the trash

but do NO stop taking care of yourself...in a year or so when your healthy, and out with a new hottie, you can look back and say "to think I almost gave up...but didnt"

now reach down, grab your sack and remind yourself its still there...and move forward...tam will always be here for ya and good luck!!! :smthumbup:


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## John Lee

Sounds like she's a cancer. What she says only speaks to her lack of worth as a person, not yours.


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## EleGirl

Based on OP's other thread, I fear that he's at her work causing a scene right now. I hope not.


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## alte Dame

What a terrible human being.

Please keep up your treatment. Take care of yourself. See a lawyer about separating but keeping your health insurance. Remember there are new laws in place that mean that you are eligible for health insurance now when you didn't think you were before. Check these out if you need to.

I'm so sorry. What a horrible way to treat someone. Have faith that you don't deserve it.


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## 6301

Honestly, when someone is taking chemo it's because of cancer and who the hell wants that and for this woman to say those horrible things about him, I hope he goes to her work place and blows her and that other guys ass out of the water. 

But then I was always one to believe that what goes around, comes around and I would pay money to see it when it happens to her.

I hope he plays that recording so everyone can here it and then they can see the type of woman she is. Man I thought my first wife was bad.


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## weightlifter

Hence the warning of never listen if you hear them start getting busy. Trusted friend or ive done it for four others complete with transcripts. I put that warning on for a reason.

Sorry to hear your pain.


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## 6301

weightlifter said:


> Hence the warning of never listen if you hear them start getting busy. Trusted friend or ive done it for four others complete with transcripts. I put that warning on for a reason.
> 
> Sorry to hear your pain.


 I've seen you post on many threads weightlifter and could never understand why you wouldn't want to here what was said on the VAR. Honestly I thought, "this guy is crazy. I want to know what is being said and to who...........until I heard what this guy posted on his thread. I was married twice and both cheated but lucky for me (yeah right) I found out way after the divorce so had time to get over the marriage but if v8crazy asked me to listen to this and then asked me what was on it, I would be a total wreck knowing that I would have to tell him what his wife said. Good God how in the hell to you tell a friend something like this? It would be like putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger and how do you help him/her after you tell them?


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## weightlifter

its not just the said part. That hurts. BUT Hearing another man making your woman moan in pleasure as he is inserting his peen between her legs is another level of mental destruction well beyond simple knowledge of cheating. The only one I think would be worse was seeing it.

RDMU is the one who has released and acknowledged I did stuff for him. The others have not and I dont release unreleased info from the others. 
RDMU got two things from me
a synopsis of about 10 lines of facts which he had to have for his confront with his wife.
AND a more detailed transcript. IIRC he read this well after.
He was a mess and it simply was not in at that point to read all the details. I did it for him cause it wasnt my wife. It did cause me some anger as he had become a friend by then and I seriously wanted to harm Bob in bad bad ways. I mean it when I say DONT mess with my friends. He has never listened to the house VAR for the obvious reasons (mental damage) and ones unreleased I warned him about.


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## Decorum

I'm sorry V8, this is more than one person can handle, x3.

You are in my thoughts, you have lost hope, no one can carry on without it.

Will you think about something to hope for? Something good?
This world is an aweful place to live in, but there is always somthing to hope for.

Take care!


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## X-B

I have realized what has been heard can not be unheard. I always thought I was a real level headed guy who could shake off anything. I did not here them doing the deed It was her putting me down like I am slime. I know I am a good person that treats everybody with respect. It gets even stranger. Three years after we married my brother married her little sister. after 10 years she started fooling around (She was always a wild child and so was my brother) My little brother committed suicide by driving his car into a tree at high speed. It was ruled an accident but he always said if he was to do would be that way. He burned up.
Anyways back to problems at hand My treatments are a 4 hour drive away and I can't drive home. I am just tired of hurting mentally and physically.several years ago I was in a back car wreck that broke my back and shattered my pelvis. I hate this has become a woe is me story. On some days she can be an angel. It wasn't until I heard the recording of her talking to her older sister than her true feelings about my thinning hair-big nose came out. I think she is staying out of guilt. We have two kids 11-14 too. I just want them to be taken care of. My term life insurance expires in two years and it is enough to put them through a good college. After 2 years it will be very hard to get life insurance. I work for a nice company that lets me work around my schedule and some people are donating their hours to me I cant work enough hours to get insurance and my wife has a very good job with great insurance. that is why I am still around. I know a lot of people here are hurting like I am and my story is just another brick in the wall. Thanks everybody.


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## EleGirl

We are all bricks in that wall... each one important.

It does sound like you are going through a lot.

Do you have anyone close to you, any friends or family who you can talk to?


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## Decorum

Its not a woe is me story, we all need to express ourselves if for no other reason then to process our emotions.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother.

My wife and I have 4 kids, she was diagnosed with MS some years ago, after 4 kids and many years of MS, she now walks with a walker. She is doing the best she can physically.

What I want to say is that people can have mixed emotions about how their life has turned out and still make right choices, that's what makes them quality people. I respect my wife and so it is easy to feel love for her

I value my wife's feelings and my kids respect more that strangers on the street or even people we know, and I value myself to much to become a shallow or vile person. You wife does not!!! 

We will all lose our looks one day if we live long enough, love can see past the looks. 

Your wife is a cheater first, her lack of love is typical for a cheater, without love she can only value shallow things.

Many very handsome men have had a wife cheat for no more reasons than your wife's.

Cheaters ALWAYS come up with reasons for why their cheating is ok.

If she is staying out of guilt, then she loves fake appearance more than a real person, I am glad I am not that way, how about you?

I just want to give you some perspective.

I will just remind you that you have a responsibility to be there for your kids if at all possible, no one can replace you in this world!

Take care!


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## MattMatt

Get back on the treatment for your children.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

MattMatt said:


> Get back on the treatment for your children.


OMG! I completely agree to this! Your kids will be DEVASTATED when you are gone! Fight this cancer like hell and put it into remission!!!!! 

File for divorce. I don't know what cancer you have, but the more you fight, the longer you have time with your children. Your children need you!

Please take care of yourself. Your scummy wife is NOT worth it! Your children are. Plus I'm assuming your wife will get the life insurance and she will spend it how she wants if you remain married.


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## just got it 55

Courage my friend courage 

As defined : The ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.

The single most important character trait a human can possess.

It compels you to make the right decision and when to make them

It enables you to feel peace of mind

It gives you inner strength

It affords you unquestionable respect from others most importantly 
self-respect

It leaves you with no regret

It allows you to face fear.

This V8……. is what will define you at your time of death be it six months or six decades

It will be your legacy that you leave your children.

Show your finest quality from this point on.

Your wife is the other end of the spectrum. Cruelty/Cowardice

As defined:

Cruelty …..the quality or condition of being cruel
an act that deliberately causes pain and distress

law the infliction of pain, distress, or anguish, especially when it is long-term and considered extreme enough to be grounds for divorce

As defined :Cowardice 
an absence of courage, or behavior that is cowardly
Synonyms .... Weakness

It entitles her to nothing but contempt


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## X-B

​Well I have non small cell carcinoma. I can't take how she flaunts her affair to me. She knows i am too week and sick and dependent on her for insurance. She has bought sheer lingerie and leaves it hanging around. this is not the person I married almost 25 years ago. I know see how people I read in the news papers snap and do something dumb. I think I could handle her &^%^#@* somebody better than her saying personal derogatory things about me. We never had a major fight our entire marriage. I canlt stress enough if you use a voice recorder get a trusted friend to listen to it first. She may say some things you DO NOT need to here. trust me. I wish I never would have bought one and my life is forever ruined. There is no going back. You can't put the Jeanie back in the bottle.


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## mablenc

Just because she says sometime doesn't make it true. Please talk to someone that realy cares for you. You are so much more than what you think about yourself now. She's not right, she's flawed. Please seek some help.


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## mablenc

Please put things in perspective, you are choosing to let the words of a liar and cheater hurt you.


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## MattMatt

v8crazy said:


> ​Well I have non small cell carcinoma. I can't take how she flaunts her affair to me. She knows i am too week and sick and dependent on her for insurance. She has bought sheer lingerie and leaves it hanging around. this is not the person I married almost 25 years ago. I know see how people I read in the news papers snap and do something dumb. I think I could handle her &^%^#@* somebody better than her saying personal derogatory things about me. We never had a major fight our entire marriage. I canlt stress enough if you use a voice recorder get a trusted friend to listen to it first. She may say some things you DO NOT need to here. trust me. I wish I never would have bought one and my life is forever ruined. There is no going back. You can't put the Jeanie back in the bottle.


I am praying for you and sending positive vibes to you and your kids.


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## walkonmars

mablenc said:


> *Just because she says sometime doesn't make it true. Please talk to someone that realy cares for you. You are so much more than what you think about yourself now. She's not right, she's flawed. Please seek some help.*


^^^^ this!!!

What she said reflects on her not you!

Her actions in flaunting the affair are not good for your health. Please see a lawyer immediately. Take care of you.... and don't give her a second thought. It took her true nature and character 25 years to reveal itself to you. 

None of us know when our time is called... take care of *you* until that time appears.


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## mablenc

This will pass, you will then turn around and ask yourself why you believed this :crazy: biatch 

Continue to post here, if you like to you are welcomed to PM me if you ever need to. Look at other threads, go to the social threads and have some laughs. Seek you friends and family. She's toxic.


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## phillybeffandswiss

v8crazy said:


> ​Well I have non small cell carcinoma. I can't take how she flaunts her affair to me. She knows i am too week and sick and dependent on her for insurance. She has bought sheer lingerie and leaves it hanging around. this is not the person I married almost 25 years ago. I know see how people I read in the news papers snap and do something dumb. I think I could handle her &^%^#@* somebody better than her saying personal derogatory things about me. We never had a major fight our entire marriage. I canlt stress enough if you use a voice recorder get a trusted friend to listen to it first. She may say some things you DO NOT need to here. trust me. I wish I never would have bought one and my life is forever ruined. There is no going back. You can't put the Jeanie back in the bottle.


Trust me, I am not trying to be hyperbolic, she is trying to legally kill you. You are supposed to give up, do assisted suicide or some other crap to make it easier for her. Live for your kids, fight for you kid and then divorce her once you are healthy.

Tuck that recording away and save it for later. I know cancer survivors and their kids LOVE the extra years they received whether it was one or ten.


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## alte Dame

Are you sure there's no other way for you to get your health insurance?


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## MattMatt

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Trust me, I am not trying to be hyperbolic, she is trying to legally kill you. You are supposed to give up, do assisted suicide or some other crap to make it easier for her. Live for your kids, fight for you kid and then divorce her once you are healthy.
> 
> Tuck that recording away and save it for later. I know cancer survivors and their kids LOVE the extra years they received whether it was one or ten.


She doesn't know he knows how evil she is. 

Oh. Unless... do you think she spotted the VAR and used it to mess with his mind?


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## phillybeffandswiss

MattMatt said:


> She doesn't know he knows how evil she is.
> 
> Oh. Unless... do you think she spotted the VAR and used it to mess with his mind?


No, poor writing. In my head, I was responding to the part about lingerie and flaunting the affair. Then you add the mess with the recorder and openly being a jerk.


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## Chaparral

Do you know who she's cheating with? Put him on cheaterville.com along with your condition. Folks will scorch him.


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## X-B

alte Dame said:


> Are you sure there's no other way for you to get your health insurance?


Not until they start excepting pre-exhisting conditions.


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## X-B

I am about at the point that I don't care anymore.


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## 6301

The only thing I can honestly come up with is for him to see a lawyer, file for divorce and being that his condition requires medical attention (to put it mildly), when the divorce is finalized and she is the only one working who has insurance, maybe the judge can issue a court order for her to pay for his coverage. IS THERE A LAWYER IN THE HOUSE!! Does anyone know a lawyer and ask? This is serious and the sooner he speaks to one, the better off he will be. Please consult an attorney.

I only know that the way his wife is, there is no doubt in my mind that pay back is a [email protected]# . I don't know how she can look herself in the mirror. She better hope there isn't a hell.


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## ThePheonix

v8crazy said:


> ​ I can't take how she flaunts her affair to me. She knows i am too week and sick and dependent on her for insurance. She has bought sheer lingerie and leaves it hanging around.


I believe she's trying to run you off Dawg. Don't let her. Your so called marriage is over but she's on the hook to keep you up. Like my uncle said, "if you've got a cow, milk it." The cow doesn't have to love and respect you. It would be really nice if she loved you and furnished your support. Since she doesn't you, her having to furnish your support ain't a bad consolation prize. View it as pre-alimony.


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## bandit.45

So you and your late brother married the slime sisters huh?

Pigs. 

Take the recording and convert it to a WAV file. Send it out on an e- mail to all your family and mutual friends with a short intro telling them what it is a recording of. Why not? Even if she files for divorce out of spite she has to continue carrying you on her insurance until the D is final. I'd burn up her life if I were in your position and had those recordings.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## X-B

The POSMFOM is her supervisor. They have a safety meeting 2 hours away in two weeks. She will drive. I have recordings already converted to mp3. I am staying quiet until after their trip so I can have his voice recorded. The work for the city and I will send it to the council. I know how people snap and do stupid crap. I am not going to but when I read about I will have sympathy now.


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## the guy

If you have life insurance, have you changed the beneficary?

If you do then make sure your WW getts none of it and make the changes so you children will get the dough.


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## illwill

There is better life for you, but you gotta earn it. Stop the self pity, be a man and fight. It wont get worse than this.


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## EleGirl

v8crazy said:


> The POSMFOM is her supervisor. They have a safety meeting 2 hours away in two weeks. She will drive. I have recordings already converted to mp3. I am staying quiet until after their trip so I can have his voice recorded. The work for the city and I will send it to the council. I know how people snap and do stupid crap. I am not going to but when I read about I will have sympathy now.


Recordings made using a VAR in the car are illegal. If you send them to anyone you could end up prosecuted.

Check the laws in your state and maybe even with an attorney to see if there are any loopholes. 

Also, if you send the recording she will most likely lose her job. You will lose your medical insurance. Your CHILDREN will lose their medical insurance. The loss of your wife's job will cause you and your children financial hardship.

If she does not want to reconcile and/or you do not want to reconcile, take your evidence and see a divorce attorney. Either get a legal separation or a divorce.

Let her keep her job, provide medical insurance to you until you can get it elsewhere. YOu will probably be paying you alimony and child support as well.

Be smart about this.


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## phillybeffandswiss

You have snapped. A person who snaps doesn't just have to maim, murder or physical hurt people.

You are preparing to do a bunch of vengeful and vindictive acts that will hurt YOU. 

She loses her job, the insurance stops and you get no more treatment.
You send illegal recordings and the council punishes you.
You seek no more treatment and you die.


Everything you are doing is irrational and will only punish yourself and you children.


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## happyman64

V8

Get the chemo. Stick with the treatments.

Get the OM's voice on the recorder.

Revenge is best served with you alive with your kids.

Your wife will get hers in the future.

It is only sticks and stones my friend. Pay her words no attention.

HM


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## EleGirl

happyman64 said:


> V8
> 
> Get the chemo. Stick with the treatments.
> 
> Get the OM's voice on the recorder.
> 
> Revenge is best served with you alive with your kids.
> 
> Your wife will get hers in the future.
> 
> It is only sticks and stones my friend. Pay her words no attention.
> 
> HM


:iagree: Live long and drive her nuts and love your children.


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## Decorum

EleGirl said:


> :iagree: Live long and drive her nuts and love your children.


I wish I had said that. My ears are pointy!


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## X-B

I will not jepordise her job yet. If I leave I have nowhere to go. All of my family has passed except for mu mother but she is in a home with Alzheimer's. The only person I trusted with my life has turned on me. I have tried my best I don't smoke,drink or do drugs.I am at a loss of what to do.I have already had my life insurance swapped to the kids when they turn 19.How can my angel turn into the devil so fast.


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## EleGirl

Are you betting back on your chemo? We really want to make sure that you are taking care of your medical needs. 


Do you have the strength to confront her with what you know now? Just her?


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## X-B

I went to the cancer center today to resume treatment. I was informed my insurance has been canceled and I would have to pay cash. My wife dropped me off her insurance and They turned me away. So much for how much they care commercials. I may get a lawyer but that will take months to get anything done .I never did anything wrong to her. She just found somebody else that is rich. How can somebody grow so cold. I thought Obama would fix this. I am a walking dead man. The cancer places only care about money. They pretty much told me to take a hike. If I was an illegal immigrant I would be saved. But you know what I don't care anymore. One year ago I was a happy man living with the woman I loved and had a great job and two kids. All it took was one woman that fell in love with another man to kill me. It is time to sign off


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## illwill

She was never a angel, my friend. People don`t change this much that quickly. And if your children are not enough to make you want to fight and live, nothing we say will change that. Regardless, you have my deepest sympathy.


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## Gonna Make It

Time for scorched earth. If she has not filed, her dropping you from insurance was insurance fraud. She can only do so for change of status and that would require a judge to sign off on a divorce!

Tell her she can fix it or go to jail for insurance fraud.


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## just got it 55

v8crazy said:


> I went to the cancer center today to resume treatment. I was informed my insurance has been canceled and I would have to pay cash. My wife dropped me off her insurance and They turned me away. So much for how much they care commercials. I may get a lawyer but that will take months to get anything done .I never did anything wrong to her. She just found somebody else that is rich. How can somebody grow so cold. I thought Obama would fix this. I am a walking dead man. The cancer places only care about money. They pretty much told me to take a hike. If I was an illegal immigrant I would be saved. But you know what I don't care anymore. One year ago I was a happy man living with the woman I loved and had a great job and two kids. All it took was one woman that fell in love with another man to kill me. It is time to sign off


Courage 

Go fight for your life and kick the sh!t out of her and the POSOM if they are in your path.


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## just got it 55

v8crazy said:


> I went to the cancer center today to resume treatment. I was informed my insurance has been canceled and I would have to pay cash. My wife dropped me off her insurance and They turned me away. So much for how much they care commercials. I may get a lawyer but that will take months to get anything done .I never did anything wrong to her. She just found somebody else that is rich. How can somebody grow so cold. I thought Obama would fix this. I am a walking dead man. The cancer places only care about money. They pretty much told me to take a hike. If I was an illegal immigrant I would be saved. But you know what I don't care anymore. One year ago I was a happy man living with the woman I loved and had a great job and two kids. All it took was one woman that fell in love with another man to kill me. It is time to sign off


Just as I said She is a cruel coward

V8 Please re read my post #27


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## workindad

Please see a lawyer ASAP. Ask specifically if she can drop you from her insurance. I would not give up this easily. Run them both through the wringer and expose high and low.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nogutsnoglory

you need to survive. Do not leave your poor kids to depend on this POS. Get to a lawyer today.


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## mablenc

How is it that she just dropped you? She can't if you don't have other coverage, she could only do this during open enrollment and that's normaly at the beginning of the year.. You are also entitled to COBRA.


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## mablenc

Go talk to someone in the department of human services, see if you can get on medicaid or an indigent program


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## X-B

It is hard to decide what to do. I decided to go to chemo therapy and they turned me away. My insurance has been cancelled. how can they do that. if I was an illegal i would get treatment. I didn't have the 3500 dollars cash so the receptionist said sorry. I swear I have never raised my voice in anger to her or abused her in any way.. I am guilty of becoming complacent. Next month is our 25 anniversary. I guess I am guilty of being boring. I have put my truck up fpr sale but that may pay for two treatments. I think I have decided to go see the Grand Canyon and Redwood Forrest instead. Two years ago I thought I was the luckiest man alive. I know I will never give my heart to another woman. I have always treated them with respect and kindness. maybe I need to be a a$$ hole and treat them like crap. that seems to be what most want. O well another night up till dawn.


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## EleGirl

v8crazy said:


> I went to the cancer center today to resume treatment. I was informed my insurance has been canceled and I would have to pay cash. My wife dropped me off her insurance and They turned me away. So much for how much they care commercials. I may get a lawyer but that will take months to get anything done .I never did anything wrong to her. She just found somebody else that is rich. How can somebody grow so cold. I thought Obama would fix this. I am a walking dead man. The cancer places only care about money. They pretty much told me to take a hike. If I was an illegal immigrant I would be saved. But you know what I don't care anymore. One year ago I was a happy man living with the woman I loved and had a great job and two kids. All it took was one woman that fell in love with another man to kill me. It is time to sign off


Why would it take months to get an attorney?

See if you can get one to do an emergency hearing to force you wife to re-establish your insurance. 

Your wife is liable for your medical bills by the way. Does she realize this?

Check with your local cancer association to see where you can get care.


----------



## BobSimmons

v8crazy said:


> It is hard to decide what to do. I decided to go to chemo therapy and they turned me away. My insurance has been cancelled. how can they do that. if I was an illegal i would get treatment. I didn't have the 3500 dollars cash so the receptionist said sorry. I swear I have never raised my voice in anger to her or abused her in any way.. I am guilty of becoming complacent. Next month is our 25 anniversary. I guess I am guilty of being boring. I have put my truck up fpr sale but that may pay for two treatments. I think I have decided to go see the Grand Canyon and Redwood Forrest instead. Two years ago I thought I was the luckiest man alive. I know I will never give my heart to another woman. I have always treated them with respect and kindness. maybe I need to be a a$$ hole and treat them like crap. that seems to be what most want. O well another night up till dawn.


Don't understand why you can't see an attorney asap? Why would it take months? Like another poster said, she can't just drop you off the insurance like that. Why don't you see a lawyer and see what your options are?


----------



## X-B

All the lawyers want money up front. It also seems like she went around and bought an hours time with several and that can't see me they say.


----------



## weightlifter

What ele said.


----------



## EleGirl

v8crazy said:


> All the lawyers want money up front. It also seems like she went around and bought an hours time with several and that can't see me they say.


Surely there are some that she did not buy an hour with.

You need to get an attorney and get the insurance turned back on. Have the attorney ask the court for her to pay your legal fees since she did something malicious in turning off your insurance.


----------



## Decorum

crushedandbroken said:


> Time for scorched earth. If she has not filed, her dropping you from insurance was insurance fraud. She can only do so for change of status and that would require a judge to sign off on a divorce!
> 
> Tell her she can fix it or go to jail for insurance fraud.


:iagree:

Nothing less than this!

This is why there are laws to protect you!


----------



## X-B

Yall were right. I went to HR and insurance has not been dropped. So I went to HR to see supervisor. (wife works in the HR dept.) Somebody called oncologist office and told them that there were problems with insurance. Apparently exposure ticked someone off. This is going to get real ugly real fast. I finally talked to an attorney and she is going to be in for a surprise. i did not know I was entitled to half of her retirement account. But she gets half of mine. She has one of those government jobs with a real pension. i am going to have to file a QDRO. her retirement is worth almost 900,000 and mine is about 45 grand. But I am stuck right now because I cant change any insurance until the (in my opinion) the only slightly decent part of Obamacare comes into play. pre-existing conditions.


----------



## happyman64

That was smart of you.

Now find an attorney that can work with you and nail her.

She probably can be brought up on charges for her fake call about the insurance.


----------



## Sbrown

Something smells off....you outed them?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## life101

We all came in this world alone with nothing. We all will leave this world alone with nothing. In the meantime, all we can do is fight fight fight.

Keep on living my friend.


----------



## just got it 55

v8crazy said:


> Yall were right. I went to HR and insurance has not been dropped. So I went to HR to see supervisor. (wife works in the HR dept.) Somebody called oncologist office and told them that there were problems with insurance. Apparently exposure ticked someone off. This is going to get real ugly real fast. I finally talked to an attorney and she is going to be in for a surprise. i did not know I was entitled to half of her retirement account. But she gets half of mine. She has one of those government jobs with a real pension. i am going to have to file a QDRO. her retirement is worth almost 900,000 and mine is about 45 grand. But I am stuck right now because I cant change any insurance until the (in my opinion) the only slightly decent part of Obamacare comes into play. pre-existing conditions.


V8 forget the courage I have been encouraging you about

You just showed some Ball$

I like that

Keep it up Go after everything with as much brutality as you can muster


----------



## mablenc

v8crazy said:


> Yall were right. I went to HR and insurance has not been dropped. So I went to HR to see supervisor. (wife works in the HR dept.) Somebody called oncologist office and told them that there were problems with insurance. Apparently exposure ticked someone off. This is going to get real ugly real fast. I finally talked to an attorney and she is going to be in for a surprise. i did not know I was entitled to half of her retirement account. But she gets half of mine. She has one of those government jobs with a real pension. i am going to have to file a QDRO. her retirement is worth almost 900,000 and mine is about 45 grand. But I am stuck right now because I cant change any insurance until the (in my opinion) the only slightly decent part of Obamacare comes into play. pre-existing conditions.


Glad you cleared that up, she has no heart.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

I had finally had as much as a man could take. yes I exposed it and it took some doing. I am not sure if what I did was legal or not but I found he had a Facebook page but my wife never had Facebook. I made an account under my wife's name one night and sent him a friend request. Five minutes later he excepted. I was in. Now his friends and family showed up where before everything before was private. I sent a message to his wife and then posted everything on his wall at 3 in the AM. The stinky stuff hit the fan the next day and I received a friend request from his wife. I can't believe this is my life and not some nightmare. I am a stage 4 cancer and I wished she would have at least pretended to love me for another few months to a couple of years. I knew something was going on but I just refused to live in the real world I was in. She is not remorseful she is just pissed his wife and everybody at her work knows. I have just reached the point that I don't care anymore. I am still starting my treatments next week anyway. Thanks for support.
Edit I deleted the facebook account under my wifes name later in the day and sent him a friend request under my name. i am still waiting but I expect he will refuse. I have an appointment to see him next Tuesday under another name. This will be my first face to face with the POSOM. After months of being a baby I am going nuclear.


----------



## mablenc

Good for you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## verpin zal

Focus on your life. Nuke their lives further LATER.

I never wanted anyone hurt in my entire life, not even in this forum board. But I DEMAND to see your "wife" suffer for her actions.

(You may PM me if you feel like it, like "how dare you! that's my wife!" or just to vent, swear, let it out. i'm a good listener.)


----------



## X-B

Like the title says with voice recorders you will hear thing you think are from another world. You will hear the REAL truth. You will hear things that you do not need to hear if you have a long life in front of you. You will hear things that will make you mad,make you cry, and make you want to die. You will find the hard, brutal truth.


----------



## shaung

v8crazy said:


> Like the title says with voice recorders you will hear thing you think are from another world. You will hear the REAL truth. You will hear things that you do not need to hear if you have a long life in front of you. You will hear things that will make you mad,make you cry, and make you want to die. You will find the hard, brutal truth.


Well, now his wife (and everybody else) has heard the hard brutal truth. Now that you have blown their fantasy out of the water, you should take some YOU time and get well.


----------



## mablenc

v8crazy said:


> Like the title says with voice recorders you will hear thing you think are from another world. You will hear the REAL truth. You will hear things that you do not need to hear if you have a long life in front of you. You will hear things that will make you mad,make you cry, and make you want to die. You will find the hard, brutal truth.


Put it in perspective, you heard awful things and I am sorry you did. But, like I said before, just because she said it, it doesn't make it true. She's a heart less cheater, you are so much more than her. You have integrity all she has is a loose mouth and legs. Don't give her that power over you. You in this small time here have proven to be much more.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thor

Your first priority right now is your own health. Concentrate on positive energy for healing.


----------



## Noble1

Nothing to add here.

Just wanted to say good luck and make the best of everything.

Your story is inspiring.


----------



## MattMatt

Noble1 said:


> Nothing to add here.
> 
> Just wanted to say good luck and make the best of everything.
> 
> Your story is inspiring.


:iagree:


----------



## X-B

I have another question that is off topic. how can I change my name on here. I tried to send a message to mods(maybe not right one) The name v8crazy is one I have used on car forums before and my wife knows it. is there a certain mod on here to contact. I don't want her to read this. She does not know about the recorder.


----------



## Chaparral

v8crazy said:


> I have another question that is off topic. how can I change my name on here. I tried to send a message to mods(maybe not right one) The name v8crazy is one I have used on car forums before and my wife knows it. is there a certain mod on here to contact. I don't want her to read this. She does not know about the recorder.


You have to pm the owner. I accidently misspelled my user name and he fixed it. I have forgotten how to get in toch with him. Try asking Amplexor.

Good luck, you're the man. You make me proud.


----------



## Chaparral

mablenc said:


> Put it in perspective, you heard awful things and I am sorry you did. But, like I said before, just because she said it, it doesn't make it true. She's a heart less cheater, you are so much more than her. You have integrity all she has is a loose mouth and legs. Don't give her that power over you. You in this small time here have proven to be much more.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I like it. You should start calling you wife Loosey!:rofl:


----------



## tdwal

v8crazy said:


> I have another question that is off topic. how can I change my name on here. I tried to send a message to mods(maybe not right one) The name v8crazy is one I have used on car forums before and my wife knows it. is there a certain mod on here to contact. I don't want her to read this. She does not know about the recorder.


Chris H. can do it, he did it for EI and B1


----------



## X-B

I sent a PM. I hope it works. I really don't want to delete everything and start over.


----------



## weightlifter

Just know you have the TAM Army behind ya bro!


----------



## workindad

Stay strong and fight the cancer in your body and marriage. 

All the best
WD
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## arbitrator

EleGirl said:


> Why would it take months to get an attorney?
> 
> *See if you can get one to do an emergency hearing to force your wife to re-establish your insurance.
> 
> Your wife is liable for your medical bills by the way. Does she realize this?*
> 
> Check with your local cancer association to see where you can get care.


*Your wife is definitely liable up until such time that the gavel hits the bench finalizing your divorce, provided, of course, that you are residing in a community property state!*


----------



## weightlifter

Isnt there a FEDERAL law covering this?

Pretty sure there is and she has committed at least a misdemeanor crime you should use against her in the D proceedings. Consult your lawyer of course.


----------



## lovelyblue

I'm so sorry to hear that your WW is a horrible person.

My beloved uncle and grandfather passed away to to having throat cancer it was horrible they were like fathers to me. I truly love and miss them every day.

I hope that you can make a fully recovery try to remember these two things. 

1. Don't give up hope.
2. They're people that love you and need you.


----------



## lovelyblue

_I read in the news papers snap and do something dumb._

Please don't do anything crazy.
Please don't stoop to her level.
Please remember that you're a better person than you POS WW.

The things you need to be worried about is your health you children and how to get away from you WW.


----------



## EleGirl

v8crazy said:


> .... I have an appointment to see him next Tuesday under another name. This will be my first face to face with the POSOM. After months of being a baby I am going nuclear.


What do you hope to gain by having a face-to-face with the OM? I don't see this having any good outcome for you. 


It's also giving him way too much power. Now that you have exposed him you need to let that work. Do you know if his wife has done anything yet?

If you have her address, send her the book "Surviving an Affair", by Dr. Harley. It will tell her what to do to break up the affair. Once OM is working to save his own marriage, your wife will be free to get her head screwed on straight.


----------



## Clay2013

It helps to put a face with the person you helped destroy. It makes it personal.It can also be bad. It did help me a lot. The other guy would not even look at me. Of course I think he knew I would have beaten him to death on the spot had he done anything more to provoke it. Its been six years and he is still with my xWW. He still wont look at me. I am not sure what she told him but something had to have been said. I am actually glad they are together now. I look back at all the stuff I put up with and wow was i stupid. At least this way they are not wrecking other good peoples lives. I am sorry you are going through this V8. Its has to be hard to be kicked twice. I hope you do find some closure.

Clay


----------



## mahike

Sorry for you pain my friend. I would not meet with that POS OM. It will do you no good. I have often thought about seeing my WW OM. He was someone I knew from school. He was a POS then and he is now. My concern is with my anger while it is in check today it has not always been that way.

Exposure is the way to go. I like the Facebook angle. Take care of yourself. Are you seeing and IC? Best of luck


----------



## Thor

I think confronting the OM is a bad move right now. Perhaps it is a diversion from your health worries?

Your #1 priority right now is getting healthy. Dump all the crap from your mind related to your wife and posom. It just doesn't matter right now. Once you're healthy you will be better able to confront posom. You'll be a mean MF'r who just kicked cancer!


----------



## X-B

I will keep my appointment to see him. He does not know it is me he just thinks I am a potential customer. I am not going to say a word. I just want to see who blinks first. I am not going to do anything rash at this time.


----------



## X-B

I still have the VAR and I am sure he will call as soon as I leave. I just want to hear her reaction.


----------



## nuclearnightmare

OP: i've read a couple hundred stories of wayward spouses on CWI over the pasy 6-7 months. Your WS is the meanest of all of them - and that is saying something, indeed.

You need to act to restore your health insurance and treatments ASAP. But I am also concerned about your physical safety at home. * I am completely serious*. forget about her acting like an angel sometimes, that's just more evidence of her rotten nature - she's displaying no real conscience whatsoever. If she's willing to go to extra efforts to stop your treatments, is there anyhing she's not capable of? I'd be careful in accepting any food or drink from her, frankly. Who knows what she can convince herself she'll get away with.

sounds like you've been in a weakened, physical state for a few years at least.....spinal injuries, cancer. has she ever abused you physically? hit you, pushed you, handled you roughly ??


----------



## Thorburn

What does the OM do for employment?


----------



## Thorburn

Something is off on this OP. Not sure if this is making sense, but there is something not right here.


----------



## Thorburn

Can you give an update on how your wife has been reacting to you.


----------



## X-B

OK I feel more at ease not worrying about certian people finding my post. The POSMFDHOM is my wife's direct supervisor. She works for a large county owned agriculture Co-Op. It seems weird now that I have became the a^% H%$# she has been acting much nicer. I know it is an act. I think she is scared she will lose her job she has had for 27 years. I am going to file a complaint with the county later on. Now I am going to try to listen to others and work on my health. If she gets fired I will really lose my insurance. This is such a mess. I never would have thought the most important decisions I will ever have to make all revolve around stinking health insurance. The call that said I was no longer insured did come from a county phone and it was a male. The girl in doctors insurance just put a note on my file that said I was no longer covered by so and so and I was told to show them a new insurance card. Somebody's head is going to be on the chopping block but I asked them hold off for a little while if they could. I am sorry if everybody thinks I am a troll or something but this is the only place I could openly talk about things and I have got some really good support and advise.


----------



## tom67

XB you were/are at the point where you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

When people get to that point...watch out.

I'm sorry for your illness.

Do what you have to do!:lol:


----------



## mablenc

I'm a bit confused here, I have worked for a doctors office and I also have worked in the HR field. The doctors office always confirms insurance coverage with the insurance company before each appointment. Even if an employer calls the doctors office to tell them the corverage has ended (which is rare) you do not make any decisions or take it for any face value. This would also raise flags for the doctors office to contact the insurance carrier to verify the information. 

Whoever made this call has misrepresented theirselves and may have also violated several laws. I don't understand why the doctors office turned you away without verifying the insurance, and why they just believed a caller. I would ask these questions, maybe in the effort to pull this off they falsified documents?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

mablenc said:


> I'm a bit confused here, I have worked for a doctors office and I also have worked in the HR field. The doctors office always confirms insurance coverage with the insurance company before each appointment. Even if an employer calls the doctors office to tell them the corverage has ended (which is rare) you do not make any decisions or take it for any face value. This would also raise flags for the doctors office to contact the insurance carrier to verify the information.
> 
> Whoever made this call has misrepresented theirselves and may have also violated several laws. I don't understand why the doctors office turned you away without verifying the insurance, and why they just believed a caller. I would ask these questions, maybe in the effort to pull this off they falsified documents?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree: Can you say fraud and a costly hippaa violation?


----------



## X-B

It only cost me problems on one visit, When I signed in and I was told of a possible problem with my insurance I had a feeling of what was up and just left, I have read on here these past few months that the person that cares the least has the most power. I have lost so much sleep and weight from not eating there comes a time where I decided I did not care about anything anymore. I was deep in the whoe is me time. I had spent months wallowing in self pity while I knew what was going on and just too afraid to lose her to do anything. I am keeping my app next week with OM. He thinks I want to rent the countys service of spraying and seeding fall ryegrass. I am not going to say a word. I am going to walk into his office and just look at him. I know it is a bad idea but am at the mad and I don't care anymore stage. It is time for it to be about me


----------



## Chaparral

In another thread it was brought up that the BS can sue the company his ww is working for since her affair is with the boss. Check with your attorney about a sexual harrassment lawsuit.


----------



## X-B

Chaparral said:


> In another thread it was brought up that the BS can sue the company his ww is working for since her affair is with the boss. Check with your attorney about a sexual harrassment lawsuit.


I just need more time until new insurance law that allows pre existing conditions. Until then i think I am stuck. if I was healthy i would have filed D last week,


----------



## happyman64

X-Betaman said:


> I just need more time until new insurance law that allows pre existing conditions. Until then i think I am stuck. if I was healthy i would have filed D last week,


Chap is right. Talk to an attorney.

Know your rights.

Get your healthcare under control.

Then stick it to the OM.


----------



## X-B

I do have an app, with a lawyer early next week.


----------



## sinnister

X-Betaman said:


> It only cost me problems on one visit, When I signed in and I was told of a possible problem with my insurance I had a feeling of what was up and just left,


Don't mean to harp on this but it is a VERY important issue. Were you told your insurance was cancelled by the doctors office or were you told there was an issue with your insurance?

The difference is HUGE. If they said it was cancelled somebody went through a lot of trouble to convince them of that fact. If they said there was a problem it could have been a simple mixup having nothing to do with the OM or your wife.

I know you have lots to think about here, but this is no small thing. I wouldnt let this slide.


----------



## mablenc

sinnister said:


> Don't mean to harp on this but it is a VERY important issue. Were you told your insurance was cancelled by the doctors office or were you told there was an issue with your insurance?
> 
> The difference is HUGE. If they said it was cancelled somebody went through a lot of trouble to convince them of that fact. If they said there was a problem it could have been a simple mixup having nothing to do with the OM or your wife.
> 
> I know you have lots to think about here, but this is no small thing. I wouldnt let this slide.


:iagree:


----------



## Thor

XB, I really really think it is a bad idea at this time for you to confront posom. He and your wife do not know that you know, correct?

Think of your D as a war. You have to be strategic. Unemotional. Calculated.

Never give away intel to the enemy. If anything, give false information to the enemy.

Going to posom's office is going to alert a lot of people to what is going on. Him, your stbxw, any office staff who see you there, etc.

Divorce takes a little while to process usually. I don't think you will have a finalized divorce prior to January 1. Thus there may be no reason to delay filing at this point. But talk to your lawyer and also to a knowledgeable insurance person to be sure.

Definitely nuke whoever called the docs office if you can. And nuke posom's career. He will lose his valuable government pension, too. Just do all of this when it makes the most sense for your best interests.


----------



## thunderstruck

Thor said:


> XB, I really really think it is a bad idea at this time for you to confront posom.


Agree. Look, I'm a vindictive MOFO, and I'd want to F him up, so I'd avoid a face-to-face with a POSOM. 

NOTHING good can come of this. If he comes off as a smug a-hole - "Yeah, I banged your W, what are you going to do about it?"...you might snap and end up in cuffs. Don't do it.


----------



## X-B

Thor said:


> XB, I really really think it is a bad idea at this time for you to confront posom. He and your wife do not know that you know, correct?
> 
> Think of your D as a war. You have to be strategic. Unemotional. Calculated.
> 
> Never give away intel to the enemy. If anything, give false information to the enemy.
> 
> Going to posom's office is going to alert a lot of people to what is going on. Him, your stbxw, any office staff who see you there, etc.
> 
> Divorce takes a little while to process usually. I don't think you will have a finalized divorce prior to January 1. Thus there may be no reason to delay filing at this point. But talk to your lawyer and also to a knowledgeable insurance person to be sure.
> 
> Definitely nuke whoever called the docs office if you can. And nuke posom's career. He will lose his valuable government pension, too. Just do all of this when it makes the most sense for your best interests.


They know I know. I had created a facebook account under wife's name and sent him friend request. He accepted and where before only friends could see his friends and family. So I posted everything on his wall (bad idea I know but I Had reached my breaking point) I still think it was OM that called but they will not give me the number. I think he is upset that I told his wife. I may take the advice I have gotten here and chill for a while at least until I can get some legal advice. I still like the Idea of my scorched earth policy But you guys may be right and it could backfire on me. I just want to do something than can make them hurt emotionally. I have gone through a lot of physical pain but the emotional pain is much worse.


----------



## alte Dame

Do you know how the OMW reacted? What effect has telling her had on the situation?


----------



## Wazza

Hi x, your old user name is still here in all the posts where you have been quoted. Maybe a mid could change it. If not, maybe PM the people who have quoted and ask them to make the change.


----------



## X-B

alte Dame said:


> Do you know how the OMW reacted? What effect has telling her had on the situation?


She was not too surprised. It was not his first time to cheat. She said she got suspicious when he for the first time in their marriage went out and bought new underwear himself.


----------



## X-B

Wazza said:


> Hi x, your old user name is still here in all the posts where you have been quoted. Maybe a mid could change it. If not, maybe PM the people who have quoted and ask them to make the change.


I didn't think about that thanks. maybe if they read this they can try to change it.


----------



## workindad

Op I'm not sure if confronting him at work is a good idea given your current health. 

However do keep the appointment your the attorney. I can't believe that she was actually able to remove from her insurance. I'm guessing that is a very mean spirited bluff
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

workindad said:


> Op I'm not sure if confronting him at work is a good idea given your current health.
> 
> However do keep the appointment your the attorney. I can't believe that she was actually able to remove from her insurance. I'm guessing that is a very mean spirited bluff
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


They never actually removed me from insurance. It just ended up causing a delay until Dr office requested official forms and info. It was bogus. I was just so mad it was a week before I went back. 
I was not going to say anything I was just going to look at him until he stammers.


----------



## the guy

I dig your new handle.


----------



## X-B

Well I had meeting with POSOM today. I just sat in front of him in his office there and he ask a few dumb fertilizer questions. I never said a word. I gave him my business card. It looked like he may have turned pale (maybe my imagination). after about 30 seconds he left and never came back. This was just a hello I know you visit.


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> Well I had meeting with POSOM today. I just sat in front of him in his office there and he ask a few dumb fertilizer questions. I never said a word. I gave him my business card. It looked like he may have turned pale (maybe my imagination). after about 30 seconds he left and never came back. This was just a hello I know you visit.


Oooohh well played. Nothing more to say.

:allhail::allhail:


----------



## Chaparral

That had to give him something to think about.

Did he know you knew before now?

He left in fear for his life! Rotflmao


----------



## tom67

Chaparral said:


> That had to give him something to think about.
> 
> Did he know you knew before now?
> 
> He left in fear for his life! Rotflmao


More importantly make a recovery.


----------



## X-B

No I don't think he has seen me before. It was tough. I was tense inside. I wanted to reach across his desk and throttle him. I also destroyed the recorder. I have heard enough. You can not unhear what you have heard. I have the files save on a thumbdrive.


----------



## MattMatt

X-Betaman said:


> Well I had meeting with POSOM today. I just sat in front of him in his office there and he ask a few dumb fertilizer questions. I never said a word. I gave him my business card. It looked like he may have turned pale (maybe my imagination). after about 30 seconds he left and never came back. This was just a hello I know you visit.


Presumably he left a small sample of fertiliser for you on his chair!:rofl:


----------



## X-B

Well maybe some good news. My Dr told me today he reclassified my cancer from stage4 to 3B. I am surethe POSOM called my wife very soon after I left. She has not said a word about it tonight. Sometimes it sucks being me. I am still waiting for her to ask how my Dr appointment went. Health insurance sucks. If I had my own I would have shown her the door. i hate being stuck. Sorry if I seem to be rambling from one topic to another.


----------



## workindad

Focus on yourself right now. And right now you did get some good news regarding your personal health. That is a victory, one of many to come. Stay focused and take care of yourself.


----------



## X-B

What seems weird the more I show her that I don't give a blank the nicer she is.


----------



## movin on

X-Betaman said:


> What seems weird the more I show her that I don't give a blank the nicer she is.


That's usually how it goes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Chaparral

Good work on your part and good news. You have to know you going to his work has him freaked out. I'm not sure he has told your wife though, they usuallyflip out when something like this happens. You should get a picture of him and put him on chreaterville and send his boss the link. Personally, I would turn every screw I could. 

Good luck and prayers


----------



## weightlifter

X-Betaman said:


> Health insurance sucks. If I had my own I would have shown her the door. i hate being stuck. Sorry if I seem to be rambling from one topic to another.


Thats why we are here bro. The TAM army is behind you!


----------



## Thor

X-Betaman said:


> If I had my own I would have shown her the door. i hate being stuck.


You really need to talk to an expert on health insurance.

Your wife cannot drop you as long as you are married. If you are legally separated with a written signed separation agreement I don't know if she can drop you or not. If you are out of the house but *without* a signed legal separation agreement you may or may not be _legally_ separated.

Your lawyer can advise you what the legal status is for different scenarios. Specifically, if you move out are you _legally_ separated? Can she unilaterally do something which makes you _legally_ separated? This will all depend on your local laws.

So, there are situations where you will be married, or legally separated, or physically moved out but not legally separated. You need to know precisely what puts you in each category.

Then, you need to know legally what your rights are, and what her obligations are, for health insurance in each category.

When married she cannot drop your insurance, I believe.

If legally separated, can she drop your insurance? *This is the critical question to get an expert to answer.* If she cannot drop your insurance, you have no reason to stay in the house.

If you simply move out without doing any kind of separation paperwork, in your specific state, can she drop your insurance? You need a true expert to answer this for you.

I think you are making assumptions about your insurance coverage without having true real facts. It would be to your benefit to get out of the house now.

Also, how long does divorce take where you are? If she fast-tracked it, could it be done before Jan 1? If not, you have nothing to lose initiating divorce today, as long as your lawyer tells you she cannot drop your health insurance if you file divorce.

Once Jan 1 comes along, are you able to afford your own insurance? You, I believe, will be able to buy it with the pre-existing condition. So the question is whether you can afford it.

Finally, would your wife be amenable to some kind of open marriage agreement which would allow you to keep insurance through her but you agree to live separately as if divorced?


----------



## Rottdad42

Brother, don't give up. I know it's hard to hear those kind of words, but you will survive. Don't stop your treatments, don't give that person the satisfaction of "winning" so to speak. You are stronger than she will ever know. Just take it slow, day by day, you will beat this, one way or another. Give it your all, good people always make it, somehow, someway. Good luck.


----------



## LostViking

You know not all waywards are completely lacking in empathy. Many go through their affairs wracked with guilt for what they are doing. But these two?

You know if I were OM, and I knew my AP's husband was ill with a serous, possibly terminal disease, and I saw how uncaring and cold my AP was towards her husband and his condition, it would give me pause. I would stop and think " my god, what kind of soulless b!tch have I gotten myself involved with?" But not this guy. He just wants that free sex and azz. And her? Lady Macbeth has nothing on this witch.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## workindad

X-Betaman said:


> What seems weird the more I show her that I don't give a blank the nicer she is.




It is amazing how often that approach works.


----------



## Chaparral

LostViking said:


> You know not all waywards are completely lacking in empathy. Many go through their affairs wracked with guilt for what they are doing. But these two?
> 
> You know if I were OM, and I knew my AP's husband was ill with a serous, possibly terminal disease, and I saw how uncaring and cold my AP was towards her husband and his condition, it would give me pause. I would stop and think " my god, what kind of soulless b!tch have I gotten myself involved with?" But not this guy. He just wants that free sex and azz. And her? Lady Macbeth has nothing on this witch.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Under the conditions you mention, I would be scared to death of a man that may not have anything to lose.


----------



## X-B

I can almost see how people can snap. But I know that I can keep a cool head. The last thing I want to do is come out looking like the bad guy. Especially when the custody issue comes up. I didn't threaten him but I hope I gave him a subtle message. The business card I gave him was one I made up and printed at home. It just had my name and occupation as father of two and married to b*&ch. for phone number I used his secret phone number and his address. But since the day after she has been home right on time and no two hour trips to store the get laundry detergent. I just need to keep the peace for a few months to a year and see how health issues come out. I am going to see my regular Dr this week because I think I have been having some anxiety attacks and get something for sleep. Thanks for the encouragement it really helps.


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> I didn't threaten him but I hope I gave him a subtle message. The business card I gave him was one I made up and printed at home. It just had my name and occupation as father of two and married to b*&ch. for phone number I used his secret phone number and his address.


This is just so full of awesome I don't even know where to begin.

Others may not share my opinion on this, but I define this as...

_Like a BOSS!_


----------



## tom67

Chaparral said:


> Under the conditions you mention, I would be scared to death of a man that may not have anything to lose.


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


----------



## Chaparral

One thing you might do, is send him a link to cheaterville.com and say" I wouldn't want to end up here would you, everytime someone googled my name, this would turn up. Eeeeww, pictures, messages and everything."


----------



## weightlifter

Chaparral said:


> One thing you might do, is send him a link to cheaterville.com and say" I wouldn't want to end up here would you, everytime someone googled my name, this would turn up. Eeeeww, pictures, messages and everything."


Please dont. Gives them an opportunity to get a judge to tell you not to do it.


----------



## X-B

I will post everything on Cheaterville on a later date. I have to keep a squeaky clean image right now. I already have the script thought out.


----------



## weightlifter

How ya feelin beta?

BTW can I have a link to cheaterville when its done? I have a collection of screenies.


----------



## X-B

weightlifter said:


> How ya feelin beta?
> 
> BTW can I have a link to cheaterville when its done? I have a collection of screenies.


You will be the first to receive it. I am sure you have some good ones.


----------



## X-B

Christmas truce. I told my wife I am not saying or going to do anything at all until after Christmas because I believe this is the last Christmas we will ever have as a family and I don't want to ruin it for the kids. They come first. It is still going to suck for me but for the kids I will do anything, Man my life sucks right now...


----------



## manticore

sorry man, I cant imagine how difficult is this situation for you, you are not a delusional BS beging or crying, I can see if the situation were 100% in your hands, by now they both would be jobless, your wife out of the house and you rebuilding your life, I always tell the users to make what is best for them (which many times means stay as fas as possible of their WS), unfortunately for you the best in to stay with her for the moment and see your health as priority.

I admire your temperance and fortitude in such outrageous situation, I don't know in in your physical condition you are able to excercise a little like trot or Jog, but if you can you should do it, endorphins help oneself to feel a little better.


----------



## manticore

so there has not been confrontation from her about you lately actions, and you burning him with his wife?

BTW, you wrote the wife told you it was not the first time, did she said as if she did not care, or she was gonna do something about it?, it seems weird that kind of reaction from her.


----------



## X-B

manticore said:


> so there has not been confrontation from her about you lately actions, and you burning him with his wife?
> 
> BTW, you wrote the wife told you it was not the first time, did she said as if she did not care, or she was gonna do something about it?, it seems weird that kind of reaction from her.


I have talked to her several times. We are friends now kind of. She has heard some of the recordings. They have 12 year old twins. and a two year old. OM's wife has a very nice house and new car, Audi SUV thigy and things like that. She seemed real sheepish if that is the right word. I am beginning to think she will put up with anything to keep her social status. I feel sorry for her. She seems like a nice lady. She is also very pretty. HMMM now wouldn't that be something. Take off with each other and make our old spouses pay us. Probably not, but I have all kinds of revenge crap that goes to my brain all the time.


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> I have talked to her several times. We are friends now kind of. She has heard some of the recordings. They have 12 year old twins. and a two year old. OM's wife has a very nice house and new car, Audi SUV thigy and things like that. She seemed real sheepish if that is the right word. I am beginning to think she will put up with anything to keep her social status. I feel sorry for her. She seems like a nice lady. She is also very pretty. HMMM now wouldn't that be something. Take off with each other and make our old spouses pay us. Probably not, but I have all kinds of revenge crap that goes to my brain all the time.


Eh anything is possible
Just kidding...sort of


----------



## X-B

manticore said:


> sorry man, I cant imagine how difficult is this situation for you, you are not a delusional BS beging or crying, I can see if the situation were 100% in your hands, by now they both would be jobless, your wife out of the house and you rebuilding your life, I always tell the users to make what is best for them (which many times means stay as fas as possible of their WS), unfortunately for you the best in to stay with her for the moment and see your health as priority.
> 
> I admire your temperance and fortitude in such outrageous situation, I don't know in in your physical condition you are able to excercise a little like trot or Jog, but if you can you should do it, endorphins help oneself to feel a little better.


I have already done my share of crying and pleading. imagine that a 6foot 3 225 LB man acting like a baby. been there done that. I still bout break down sometimes. Before i got sick I was into weightlifting and running. My treatment right now is Alimta Avastin Combo. and the fatigue kills me. but on good days I try to walk 4 miles..


----------



## weightlifter

Keep it up. What is your longer term prognosis?


----------



## X-B

weightlifter said:


> Keep it up. What is your longer term prognosis?


5 months ago I was told I had a 40% chance to make it 2 years. Last week he upped it to about 50% If I keep doing same thing. He talked about possibly doing a thoracotomy lobectomy but I would have to stop chemo so my immune system could recover some because of possible chance of infection after surgery. But if it is successful he said 60% to70% to make it 5 years or longer.He said those were just statics though. He said recovery after that king of surgery would be long and rough especially If I am living by myself at the time. To my surprise my wife said she wanted to put everything on hold a few months and help. I think the only reason she would do that is out of guilt. I have been thinking about just selling my truck and camper and hiring someone to help me out if I go surgery rout and telling her to go to he-double toothpicks. I want her to feel guilty at any cost.


----------



## LostViking

She is a true POS. I would tell her the same thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## manticore

Man, thinking of you, I know you are in truce with your POS of a wife, take this time to enjoy your kids and keep fighting even if there is no future with her, your kids will want their dad around as much as possible, so go for the surgery and keep beating the odds


----------



## Decorum

X,
I'm glad there was some improvement in your status. You are made of good stuff, I also hope you find some satisfaction with your kids this Christmas, good idea to put them first.

Take care!


----------



## X-B

Yes I am definitely putting the kids first right now. Spent last weekend putting Christmas decorations up around the house. The kids wanted those led lights around the roof edge and we have a two story yikes. I just keep trying to detach so when I leave it won't be as hard I hope. It is weird with the wife because the more I have detached from her and only talk to her in a business manner the more she seems beaten down. She never goes out anymore or anything but it is too little too late. I don't care what she does, I am done finished, finito.


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

X-Betaman said:


> Yes I am definitely putting the kids first right now. Spent last weekend putting Christmas decorations up around the house. The kids wanted those led lights around the roof edge and we have a two story yikes. I just keep trying to detach so when I leave it won't be as hard I hope. It is weird with the wife because the more I have detached from her and only talk to her in a business manner the more she seems beaten down. She never goes out anymore or anything but it is too little too late. I don't care what she does, I am done finished, finito.


Oh my gosh xbeta I can just see you out there hanging lights as a healthy way to detach from the disappointment and focus on your kids. I bet you have the best house on the block!!

I have read your posts before and I hope you are doing ok today.

Are you planning on giving her a gift? What do you do in this case if she's there on Christmas morning with the kids?


----------



## workindad

Stay focused, if it were me- I'd stop chemo and have the surgery.

Very personal decision for you to make, but sounds like the best odds to be around for your kids in the future.

I wish you all the best and sincerely hope you make the very best of your situation this holiday season. 

All the best
WD


----------



## JohnC_depressed

X-Betaman said:


> Christmas truce. I told my wife I am not saying or going to do anything at all until after Christmas because I believe this is the last Christmas we will ever have as a family and I don't want to ruin it for the kids. They come first. It is still going to suck for me but for the kids I will do anything, Man my life sucks right now...


You are a good man


----------



## illwill

Stay strong.


----------



## sidney2718

illwill said:


> Stay strong.


Ditto from me. We are rooting for you.


----------



## manticore

sidney2718 said:


> Ditto from me. We are rooting for you.


yes, we are


----------



## MattMatt

manticore said:


> yes, we are


:iagree::smthumbup::iagree:


----------



## turnera

How are things in the medical front?


----------



## X-B

Things are about the same right now. I am taking a break for a little while. I will start treatments again when I have more strength back some. I wanted to take time off for the holidays so I wont feel sick. My heart still is not in it 100% To be honest there are still days I want to throw in the towel. The first 47 years of my life seem like a dream to me now. I loved life with a passion. Oh well


----------



## turnera

I work at a major cancer hospital. People can achieve a lot these days. But they have to want to.


----------



## illwill

My mom had breast cancer and she is doing well, because she refused to stop fighting. She recently said this is the best time of her life. She loves every moment of every day. You too have a second act.

Head up.


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

x beta there is a lot u can do. turnera is right you just have to want to. Because the mind heals the body. The mind can help the body heal. But you already know that. 

You were probably just expressing disappointment and that is ok. Its ok you want to take a break to just not feel bad. But you got to know you can go in the minds eye to a healing place -- where you can be infused with light that focuses on your sick place in the body. Just go there, let it heal you. Your own mind and spirit. Let it give you the love and healing you need. It knows the way. You know the way. Don't lose faith because someone has let you down so badly. Keep true.

Gosh i feel for what you are going through.


----------



## FormerSelf

First time I've seen this thread. Just wanted to say what a difference between the original posts on this thread and where you are at now. You are enduring a lot...especially while dealing with the cancer. I have multiple myeloma (an incurable bone marrow cancer) and I am at the tail end of my 5th chemo cycle for it...and will start first stem cell transplant in february after one more chemo cycle. Prognosis VERY iffy. I, too, have had my heart broken by my wife...and while we are presently reconciled...there are no guarantees with anything...my life or my marriage. I've never been much of a FIGHTER in life per se, and while I have endured and survived through much brokenness, I am seeing how now I need to learn how to start fighting for the things that I want and for myself. Sorry that you are dealing with all of this...weaker people couldn't bear what you are bearing right now...so wanted to say your story is really inspirational to me...even though right now all you can see is devastation...but really it's solid gold, man.


----------



## X-B

It is hard to believe that one year ago today we were on our way to spend Christmas at Disney World. Not a care in the world. One later my life has been turned upside down.placed in a grinder with a big helping of crap and pureed. When I try to look forward into my future I just see a black abyss.


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

X-Betaman said:


> It is hard to believe that one year ago today we were on our way to spend Christmas at Disney World. Not a care in the world. One later my life has been turned upside down.placed in a grinder with a big helping of crap and pureed. When I try to look forward into my future I just see a black abyss.


Life does change on a dime. And good things can happen just as fast as the bad things. I hope you have some plans this weekend with your kids and also I hope you can find some restorative time for yourself. You've got to try to take care of yourself xbeta.


----------



## turnera

X-Betaman said:


> It is hard to believe that one year ago today we were on our way to spend Christmas at Disney World. Not a care in the world. One later my life has been turned upside down.placed in a grinder with a big helping of crap and pureed. When I try to look forward into my future I just see a black abyss.


My DD also works at my hospital, but in the Psychiatry division. They have a clinic where they see the cancer patients for therapy visits, to help them cope, to help them make plans, to help them make what time they do have (if the therapy doesn't work or it's too far along) as rewarding as possible. 

It sounds like that would benefit you. Are you seeing an IC?


----------



## X-B

turnera said:


> My DD also works at my hospital, but in the Psychiatry division. They have a clinic where they see the cancer patients for therapy visits, to help them cope, to help them make plans, to help them make what time they do have (if the therapy doesn't work or it's too far along) as rewarding as possible.
> 
> It sounds like that would benefit you. Are you seeing an IC?


Thanks for the reply. I am not seeing a councilor about the cancer right now. I know it may sound weird but the cancer doesn't seem to bother me mentally.The thought of the love of my life betraying me and ripping my heart out just killed me inside. There is no room for any more pain or worry. I know I need to speak to someone about that. I just need to get past the idea that I don't care what happens to me anymore. I really thank you for your time and concern and I will make an appointment after the holidays. MY regular Dr. told me I must care about myself on a unconscious level because I am still going for my treatments. Thank everybody very much for the replies. it does mean a lot.


----------



## manticore

man, you can always come here with whatever idea, thought or sentiment you have or just to vent whatever you want.

there a many of us that are concerned about you, and wish for you the best outcome in your situation (in all the aspects of your life).


----------



## X-B

I am glad I have this place to unwind sometimes. I should have come here the other day when my anxiety peaked and my blood pressure went through the roof. I take meds for hypertension anyway. It went to 233/138 and my pulse was 144. I got dizzy and I couldn't see. it was lke I was underwater in the deep end of a swimming pool. I went to the ER and they gave me something to bring it down. The nurse said she couldn't believe I walked in. Some days it will drop so low I will faint. I had hypertension before any of this personal problems started.
Maybe I seemed week and that is why she started looking elsewhere.There is only so much a person can take before they break. Meanwhile in other news we had our company Christmas party today. great food, and got a 1,000 dollar bonus) We were told everybody was getting a 20% pay cut next year. Temporary they say because sales are down. I work in publishing and we design and produce Curriculum for churches and Sunday school classes.


----------



## manticore

X-Betaman said:


> Maybe I seemed week and that is why she started looking elsewhere.There is only so much a person can take before they break.


X/B please destroy this thoughts from your head, she cheated because she was selfish, maybe that was always her nature but you refused to see it becuase you were in love with her or maybe she changed with time (just as there are people who changes for better there is people who changes for worst) but by no means you will blame yourself for her cheating or give excuses for her.

if her definition of love is I will be loyal and good to you as long as it suits me then she is a person that was never worth your love and efforts, detach from her, and if you can forgive her at least even thanks ot her you have your kids.


----------



## X-B

manticore said:


> X/B please destroy this thoughts from your head, she cheated because she was selfish, maybe that was always her nature but you refused to see it becuase you were in love with her or maybe she changed with time (just as there are people who changes for better there is people who changes for worst) but by no means you will blame yourself for her cheating or give excuses for her.
> 
> if her definition of love is I will be loyal and good to you as long as it suits me then she is a person that was never worth your love and efforts, detach from her, and if you can forgive her at least even thanks ot her you have your kids.


I know you are right. and I will not do anything stupid to myself.


----------



## bandit.45

Your wife is the weak one. Not you. She's a coward who ran when the going got tough. No strength, no character.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## manticore

bandit.45 said:


> Your wife is the weak one. Not you. She's a coward who ran when the going got tough. No strength, no character.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No Fu**ing soul.


----------



## just got it 55

just got it 55 said:


> Courage my friend courage
> 
> As defined : The ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.
> 
> The single most important character trait a human can possess.
> 
> It compels you to make the right decision and when to make them
> 
> It enables you to feel peace of mind
> 
> It gives you inner strength
> 
> It affords you unquestionable respect from others most importantly
> self-respect
> 
> It leaves you with no regret
> 
> It allows you to face fear.
> 
> This X B ……. is what will define you at your time of death be it six months or six decades
> 
> It will be your legacy that you leave your children.
> 
> Show your finest quality from this point on.
> 
> Your wife is the other end of the spectrum. Cruelty/Cowardice
> 
> As defined:
> 
> Cruelty …..the quality or condition of being cruel
> an act that deliberately causes pain and distress
> 
> law the infliction of pain, distress, or anguish, especially when it is long-term and considered extreme enough to be grounds for divorce
> 
> As defined :Cowardice
> an absence of courage, or behavior that is cowardly
> Synonyms .... Weakness
> 
> It entitles her to nothing but contempt


This remains true


----------



## X-B

just got it 55 said:


> This remains true


That is so true. Physical pain is nothing to mental pain.
Ausist 2004 I was in a car accident. Three broken vertebra, cracked skull ,broken femur and crushed knee. I made a full recovery when Dr's wanted me to go on disability but I still worked full time. physical pain is nothing, I would saw my leg off with a dull butter knife for the mental pain to stop. This mental pain is many times worse. If I can get through this I will be unstoppable. 

Thank You for helping to put it into perspective.


----------



## turnera

X-Betaman said:


> I would saw my leg off with a butter knife for the mental pain to stop. This mental pain is many times worse.


That's what psychologists are for.


----------



## X-B

One year ago today when I loved life. I was at Disney at Christmas. I was at tha top of the world.


----------



## happyman64

*One year from today I expect to see and hear what mountain you have climbed to get to a better place in your life.*

Focus on you, your health.

Nothing else matters right now.

HM


----------



## turnera

Would your kids want you to give up, give them less time with you?


----------



## LongWalk

How are you doing X-betaman?


----------



## illwill

Giving up is not a option. Fight to the end. 

And the only thing you did wrong was to marry this absolute monster of a woman.

She would have cheated on anyone, because she is broken and damaged.

And you need to start checking in here more. You have friends who want to support you.


----------



## hawx20

X-Betaman said:


> One year ago today when I loved life. I was at Disney at Christmas. I was at tha top of the world.



One of my favorite movies is City Slickers. One of my favorite scenes from any movie is when they are asking each other about their greatest day, minus the kids being born and marrying their wife.

It stuck with me because I never had a single greatest day taking the kids out of the equation. October 2012 we took a trip to Disneyworld. The very last day we were at Disney, the park was closing and we were sitting down waiting for the kids to get on one last ride. I remember saying to myself "Today, was my best day!". It was the greatest day of my life without doubt.

A couple weeks later my wife cheats on me. 

So I know all about being on top of the world at Disney and how it feels to be at the bottom now.


----------



## weightlifter

Beta dude lotta us want ya to do good dude?


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

Hey, x beta, how are you doing?


----------



## manticore

X-Betaman said:


> I feel for you. I would serve her on her birthday if you really don't love her anymore. I wish I could serve my wife divorce papers. I am stuck is a screwed up situation. *My health insurance id through my stupid wife and I sort of need it right now. But I am starting to think it in not worth having to see her every day. I am at the point I really don't care if I have the stupid insurance anymore. My pride has to be worth something.*
> It sucks being in our situation.


Nop, you life and the time with your kids is the most important (and I don't mean that you have to keep living with her necessarily).

I wonder if you have not checked your possiblities with a shark lawyer, and then go with your wife and propose a divorce under benefical conditions for you, if she refuse you can use the leverage of exposing the affair to her work and other superiors and making the divorce extremely expensive, I think is in her best interest to agree with pretty much everything that is legaly benefical for you.

is not bad to have pride, but in this situation acting impulsive will just harm you and decrease the quality time with your kids.


----------



## X-B

Right now we have some sort of truce. You are right pride is a hard thing to swallow. She has stopped her crap but the damage is done. I think the Om put her on the road when he realized how ugly she is inside. I also think she doesn't want to be remembered as the lady who cheated on her ill hubby. That is my take on it anyway. 
I feel much better now that the last round of treatments are over for now. It feels good to have my appetite back because I love to cook. 
I recently took my camper out for a week to try to collect my thoughts and I realized that I don't want to be alone at this time. I need the drama of the kids running around the house arguing over who's turn it is with the X-box.


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

X-Betaman said:


> Right now we have some sort of truce. You are right pride is a hard thing to swallow. She has stopped her crap but the damage is done. I think the Om put her on the road when he realized how ugly she is inside. I also think she doesn't want to be remembered as the lady who cheated on her ill hubby. That is my take on it anyway.
> I feel much better now that the last round of treatments are over for now. It feels good to have my appetite back because I love to cook.
> I recently took my camper out for a week to try to collect my thoughts and I realized that I don't want to be alone at this time. I need the drama of the kids running around the house arguing over who's turn it is with the X-box.


That's great news you getting away for a while. Also great you have your appetite back and treatments are done for a while...

Wonderful to hear the kids argue of turns on the gaming system....I sure miss those days in my house. Its really quiet when they move out.


----------



## happyman64

X-Betaman said:


> Right now we have some sort of truce. You are right pride is a hard thing to swallow. She has stopped her crap but the damage is done. I think the Om put her on the road when he realized how ugly she is inside. I also think she doesn't want to be remembered as the lady who cheated on her ill hubby. That is my take on it anyway.
> I feel much better now that the last round of treatments are over for now. It feels good to have my appetite back because I love to cook.
> I recently took my camper out for a week to try to collect my thoughts and I realized that I don't want to be alone at this time. I need the drama of the kids running around the house arguing over who's turn it is with the X-box.


Nothing like a good game of Halo to get rid of some of some of those frustrations...

Glad you are feeling better.

HM


----------



## turnera

X-Betaman said:


> I recently took my camper out for a week to try to collect my thoughts and I realized that I don't want to be alone at this time. I need the drama of the kids running around the house arguing over who's turn it is with the X-box.


Glad it's going so well. I do want to say, though, be careful with the camping. My dad survived his first bout with leukemia, and went camping all around the country. He got bitten by a spider, and his compromised immunity took him down, and the leukemia came back.


----------



## X-B

I did something really dumb today. I was a gas station filling up and POSOm pulled up close to me and started pumping gas. he tried to ignore me but the rage boiled to the top. I walked over and promptly slugged him. and finished filling up. I am sure it is on camera and I am waiting on a knock on the door at this minute. It was like an out of body experience. I am not a violent person so I don't know what came over me. I have a feeling things are fixing to be complicated. I just called a bail bondsman just in case. no sleep for me tonight. Right now my hand is swollen like a grapefruit 
How much worse can this get. What bothers me is I feel no guilt. This is not me at all. He wouldn't even fight back. I an so screwed
I thought I would get satisfaction but there is nothing but emptiness.


----------



## illwill

If he did not fight back, maybe he wont call the cops, because he knows he deserved it.

And perhaps he does not want a public record of his acts.

You are human and we all get angry and make mistakes.

Dont beat (no pun) yourself up too much.


----------



## warlock07

he just took it and said nothing ?

v8, I don't remember, but is this guy married ?


----------



## X-B

_ would say super stupid I really regret it.I dropped to their level. If I could take it back I would. The only thing I could hope for is he not do anything about it. I have had so much stress I could not stop. I need to get away from stress. I spent two days in the critical care unit because of an hypertension emergency or malignant hypertension and a cardiologist called it.because of my blood pressure and peeing blood,gross I am sorry for TMI. Sorry for the rant but i have no other release. I had no Idea there were so many people in my shoes. I really feel for each and everyone of you. Once this is over and i am singly I doubt there in anyone who who would be interested in someone with my ongoing problems. My main fear is to be alone. I really thank for you guys for being there to listen to me whine like a baby. I have just taked meds that should bring pressure they gave me.. The cardiologist called it the nuclear option. But it brings on a headache from he!! but it works._


----------



## X-B

warlock07 said:


> he just took it and said nothing ?
> 
> v8, I don't remember, but is this guy married ?


Yes he is married.I was trying to take the highroad. Failed again. But how much can one person take.


----------



## illwill

I think youll be fine.


----------



## X-B

But I want to file for full custody and i am afraid I screwed it up. It sucks that i don't dring]k because I could use a stiff one about now. I really need someont close to talk to but all of our friends are mutual.To be honest I am afraid to be aone.


----------



## warlock07

I would be surprised if he actually files a compliant...


----------



## happyman64

Xbeta

The person who really deserves a slug is your wife.

But I do not recommend that.

Put the focus back on you and your kids.

Your health should be your main priority.

The OM is a tool.

HM


----------



## radrobe

*Re: Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for*



X-Betaman said:


> But I want to file for full custody and i am afraid I screwed it up. It sucks that i don't dring]k because I could use a stiff one about now. I really need someont close to talk to but all of our friends are mutual.To be honest I am afraid to be aone.


If they don't prove it, it didn't happen. They fact that you haven't got a knock on the door tells me they probably don't want custody.


----------



## theroad

I doubt the OM will call the police for one punch.

911: May I help you?

OM: Yes I was punched in the face.

911: Is the perp there, do you know who it is?

OM: No he left after he threw his punch

911: Why did the perp hit you?

OM: I was hitting up his WW pretty good.


You need to move far away from the OM. And for now find another gas station to go to.


----------



## weightlifter

X dude that is what we are here for. Venting.

Dumb of you to hit. Dumb of him to start pumping gas once he saw you standing there.


----------



## turnera

X, I have a job for you. Sit down at your computer sometime today, type in your city, and search for volunteer opportunities. I recommend Big Brothers, but whatever floats your boat. What you need most right now, IMO, is self fulfillment, and there's nothing better at doing that than helping someone else out.


----------



## 6301

X-Betaman said:


> I did something really dumb today. I was a gas station filling up and POSOm pulled up close to me and started pumping gas. he tried to ignore me but the rage boiled to the top. I walked over and promptly slugged him. and finished filling up. I am sure it is on camera and I am waiting on a knock on the door at this minute. It was like an out of body experience. I am not a violent person so I don't know what came over me. I have a feeling things are fixing to be complicated. I just called a bail bondsman just in case. no sleep for me tonight. Right now my hand is swollen like a grapefruit
> How much worse can this get. What bothers me is I feel no guilt. This is not me at all. He wouldn't even fight back. I an so screwed
> I thought I would get satisfaction but there is nothing but emptiness.


 He won't fight back because he knows he's in the wrong and in his mind he has a feeling that he got away easy. He's a coward and the last thing he wants to do is draw attention to himself. 

I saw my neighbor get his ass kicked up and down his own driveway when the husband of the lady he was screwing around with showed up along with his wife. He got a broken nose and a couple black eyes from the nose being broken and if memory serves me right a broken rib and was body slammed on the driveway. The husband told the guy that he can keep her (his wife) and told her not to come back. He didn't call the cops either. Neighbors wanted to but he wouldn't let them.


----------



## Clay2013

I do not think it would be to wise for the OM to call the cops. Once they found out the whole story he might just get a visit from one of them on a dark night. People that become cops generally have a very firm stance on right and wrong and are very opinionated on where they stand. 

Clay


----------



## bandit.45

Does your STBXWW know you punched him? If she does without you having told her it means they are still in contact and the A is still on.


----------



## bandit.45

Has she shown even the slightest bit of remorse or is she just that soulless and cold? It would take a sociopath to have that kind of disregard for a spouse.


----------



## illwill

There will be no charges. And you DO need to do some charity work. I do 80 hrs a year. It takes focus off yourself and you need good karma.


----------



## just got it 55

X-Betaman said:


> Right now we have some sort of truce. You are right pride is a hard thing to swallow. She has stopped her crap but the damage is done. I think the Om put her on the road when he realized how ugly she is inside. I also think she doesn't want to be remembered as the lady who cheated on her ill hubby. That is my take on it anyway.
> I feel much better now that the last round of treatments are over for now. It feels good to have my appetite back because I love to cook.
> I recently took my camper out for a week to try to collect my thoughts and *I realized that I don't want to be alone at this time. I need the drama of the kids running around the house arguing over who's turn it is with the X-box.*


X It's not that you don't want to be alone

This is a man that wants to live

Just to enjoy the everyday noise in life

Especially the laughter of your children 

55


----------



## manticore

X-Betaman said:


> I did something really dumb today. I was a gas station filling up and POSOm pulled up close to me and started pumping gas. he tried to ignore me but the rage boiled to the top. I walked over and promptly slugged him. and finished filling up. I am sure it is on camera and I am waiting on a knock on the door at this minute. It was like an out of body experience. I am not a violent person so I don't know what came over me. I have a feeling things are fixing to be complicated. I just called a bail bondsman just in case. no sleep for me tonight. Right now my hand is swollen like a grapefruit
> How much worse can this get. What bothers me is I feel no guilt. This is not me at all. He wouldn't even fight back. I an so screwed
> I thought I would get satisfaction but there is nothing but emptiness.


if for an reson he sends the cops on you, after explaining to the cops the whole situation make the exposure public (not at the work because you needyour wife to keep her job) but with all his friends, family (his parents and the parents of his wife) and neighbors.

put the public presure on him, with you full story, how the coward persued your woman while you were fighting cancer, how now the coward is putting cops on you becuase you make him face consequences while you are battling stage 3 cancer, believe me public pressure is a powerfull force, nobody is gonna feel emphaty for him


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

I probably shouldn't say this, but here goes...

..... if your hand is swollen like a grapefruit (do you think its broken?), what does his FACE look like?! 

OMG!

You are dealing with A LOT. 

My heart was racing reading that post. x-beta you've got to be careful all those stress hormones....


----------



## X-B

It is not like the movies i can tell you that. I have two small fractures in my fingers. It felt like one of those cartoons where it swells up like and throbs like a balloon. I probably came out worse physically. I don't know how he turned out because I just turned and walked away trying not to show how much pain my hand was in. It was a juvenile thing to do. I would not suggest doing it.He did fall over but physically I bet I hurt more today than him. maybe just maybe it will give him pause before he messes around with a married woman again. 
I did not think I just reacted. I pulled up to get some gas and there he was talking to two ladies and a guy. It was over in a second,god I need a long vacation from all this stress. I still expect some sort of repercussions of some type.


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> It is not like the movies i can tell you that. I have two small fractures in my fingers. It felt like one of those cartoons where it swells up like and throbs like a balloon. I probably came out worse physically. I don't know how he turned out because I just turned and walked away trying not to show how much pain my hand was in. It was a juvenile thing to do. I would not suggest doing it.He did fall over but physically I bet I hurt more today than him. maybe just maybe it will give him pause before he messes around with a married woman again.
> I did not think I just reacted. I pulled up to get some gas and there he was talking to two ladies and a guy. It was over in a second,god I need a long vacation from all this stress. I still expect some sort of repercussions of some type.


Alright, I'm gonna go against the grain here and say two thumbs up for what you did. I did the same thing many years ago (much worse actually), and got away with it as well...and it felt damned good. Didn't change a thing though, but if I had to do it all over again?........................I'd do it again. That's just me.

Sometimes you just do what you have to do for your sense of manhood; consequences be damned.

Your hand will heal, and I do hope you suffer no more from this incident. Has you WW heard about this, and if so, what was her reaction?


----------



## turnera

We used to duel each other for less. Don't sweat it.


----------



## X-B

turnera said:


> We used to duel each other for less. Don't sweat it.


One thing that bothers me is that I was wishing I had a roll of quarters. That is not who I was. I will never be the same laid back person that I was once was before my life turned into this big stinking pile of smelly stuff.


----------



## 2asdf2

This business makes people act in ways they would not have ever thought possible.

You just learned something about yourself.

It's all part of coping.

Ice up and get to the analgesics.


----------



## manticore

No comments from your wife about the incident?


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

Its OK to have these feelings! Just maybe not act on them. You are mad and thinking you failed somehow but its really the secondary daggers that are actually getting to you now.

I do the same thing. But if we just get mad at ourselves it solves nothing....its just more negativity, the thing we need to overcome.

x beta you know maybe dont be so hard on yourself. You are going through so much crap! 

I know you hate what this has done to you. You think you have changed, but its who you are deep inside that *hasn't changed * that is REACTING to all this massive disrespect, the good man that sees how wrong all this is.


----------



## X-B

manticore said:


> No comments from your wife about the incident?


She knows. She drove me to Dr's office to get x-ray and she said absolutely nothing about it. When we got home she fixed my favorite meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes. weird. I think she is just now realizing how serious this thing is.Welcome to the real world biach


----------



## weightlifter

Your future court date.

Judge, "What posessed you to hit this man."
You, "He is fvcking my wife."
Judge, "I find you guilty of disorderly conduct. $100. NEXT!"
Him, "Judge what about me?"
Judge, "Why, you want to fvck my wife too?"


----------



## weightlifter

X-Betaman said:


> She knows. She drove me to Dr's office to get x-ray and she said absolutely nothing about it. When we got home she fixed my favorite meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes. weird. I think she is just now realizing how serious this thing is.Welcome to the real world biach


LOL you are taking the 'X' part of X beta seriously bro! Believe it or not, on a subconscious level, beating the OM makes you more attractive to her. Mach is way the hell better at explaining it than I am tho. I am just the head of the CIA here.


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> She knows. She drove me to Dr's office to get x-ray and she said absolutely nothing about it. When we got home she fixed my favorite meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes. weird. I think she is just now realizing how serious this thing is.Welcome to the real world biach


Waywards and their funky brain wiring.
She actually has a ton of respect for you now.
You were in her perverted thinking, sticking up for her.
Eh let's get to the important part was the meatloaf good?
X I wish the best for you.


----------



## X-B

I have found that physical pain is absolutely nothing. I wish i could inflict emotional pain. If i could i would win wars.


----------



## tom67

weightlifter said:


> LOL you are taking the 'X' part of X beta seriously bro! Believe it or not, on a subconscious level, beating the OM makes you more attractive to her. Mach is way the hell better at explaining it than I am tho. I am just the head of the CIA here.


I missed your post WL you are right it's all in the limbic/ reptilian brain.
She knows you are not a pushover no matter your circumstances.


----------



## X-B

tom67 said:


> I missed your post WL you are right it's all in the limbic/ reptilian brain.
> She knows you are not a pushover no matter your circumstances.


I like the reptilian brain analogy. I know know I will never want her back. She is beautiful on the outside buy ugly as he!! on the inside. I am just using her for now. It was definitely just a quick spur of the moment thing. There was absolutely no preplanned thought process involved. it was just more animistic. 
here I sit at home because it has cost me another day from work.


----------



## Thor

X, I seriously doubt anything comes of this. But, be smart if the popo show up. Don't answer any questions. Do NOT admit to hitting the guy. Yeah it may be on video tape at the gas station, but it might not be.

The police are not there to get the truth, nor are they there to decide if they should arrest you. Court is the only place to give your side of the story. The police are there to arrest you, and/or to gather information to be used to prosecute you.

Even if innocent, lawyers advise people to not answer questions. You can say something which is taken out of context or is twisted to a different meaning, and the jury finds you guilty.

There used to be "crime of passion" or "temporary insanity" as a defense. I think the concepts are quite valid in your situation given what has happened, but I have no idea if a judge/jury would buy in. Only your lawyer can advise you! But my advise is to stfu if the police arrive.

"I'm sorry, but I am concerned about the questions you are asking. I wish to consult with my attorney before answering."

"Am I being detained or am I free to leave?"


----------



## treyvion

6301 said:


> He won't fight back because he knows he's in the wrong and in his mind he has a feeling that he got away easy. He's a coward and the last thing he wants to do is draw attention to himself.
> 
> I saw my neighbor get his ass kicked up and down his own driveway when the husband of the lady he was screwing around with showed up along with his wife. He got a broken nose and a couple black eyes from the nose being broken and if memory serves me right a broken rib and was body slammed on the driveway. The husband told the guy that he can keep her (his wife) and told her not to come back. He didn't call the cops either. Neighbors wanted to but he wouldn't let them.


Every TAM "Machiavelli" Alpha dream response for the WAS situation. Imagine that, after getting beaten and body slammed at the end "You can have her!" and meaning it... Top dawg Alpha.


----------



## MattMatt

LostWifeCrushed said:


> I probably shouldn't say this, but here goes...
> 
> ..... if your hand is swollen like a grapefruit (do you think its broken?), what does his FACE look like?!
> 
> OMG!
> 
> You are dealing with A LOT.
> 
> My heart was racing reading that post. x-beta you've got to be careful all those stress hormones....


What does his face look like? I'm betting he still looks like a cheating POS but he now comes with added bruising. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## just got it 55

X-Betaman said:


> She knows. She drove me to Dr's office to get x-ray and she said absolutely nothing about it. When we got home she fixed my favorite meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes. weird. I think she is just now realizing how serious this thing is.Welcome to the real world biach


You turned her on Buddy Boy


----------



## just got it 55

X-Betaman said:


> It is not like the movies i can tell you that. I have two small fractures in my fingers. It felt like one of those cartoons where it swells up like and throbs like a balloon. I probably came out worse physically. I don't know how he turned out because I just turned and walked away trying not to show how much pain my hand was in. It was a juvenile thing to do. I would not suggest doing it.He did fall over but physically I bet I hurt more today than him. maybe just maybe it will give him pause before he messes around with a married woman again.
> *I did not think I just reacted.* I pulled up to get some gas and there he was talking to two ladies and a guy. It was over in a second,god I need a long vacation from all this stress. I still expect some sort of repercussions of some type.


You acted viscerally that human instinct. Don’t be ashamed of yourself for being a human animal .We are what evolution evolved us to.This will not change for at least 50K years

With MTV and all

55


----------



## workindad

I hope your hand is ok and healing well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## weightlifter

workindad said:


> I hope your hand is ok and healing well.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I kind of hope he had two rings on to make nice impressions on his face. One ring says "azz" (backwards of course to show up correct" The other says "hole"


----------



## Acabado

OM likely knows X-Betaman's condition.
He won't do a thing, he won't put himself there to testify his shameful nehavior.


----------



## X-B

since i haven't heard anything I doubt if he will say anything. I have been thinking and i am not mad at myself anymore. I just hate that I lost control on myself so fast. I had to miss work today because i still have to keep my hand elevated. the stuff you see in the movies is total BS. My wife has been acting sheepish and the stupid arrogance is gone for now. I think it scared her. She was told by one of the ladies that saw (she says) I guess I put everything I had in it and left nothing on the table. I am having to wear a removable hand,fingers cast thingy. This episode has cost me over 200 in deductibles so far. I am starting to regret it less now. he didn't show up for work today. feels good to vent. thanks guys and ladies.


----------



## 6301

X-Betaman said:


> She knows. She drove me to Dr's office to get x-ray and she said absolutely nothing about it. When we got home she fixed my favorite meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes. weird. I think she is just now realizing how serious this thing is.Welcome to the real world biach


 I got to hand it to you. You must be a real down to earth kind of guy who doesn't ask for much except a little respect.

When you said that she fixed your favorite meal of meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes you can't get more down to earth than that. Most guys would be wishing for a 6 course meal. You like meat loaf and mashed potatoes.


I don't know about the rest of the people posting her but I like this guy and wish him the best and I hope every good thing in life comes your way.


----------



## manticore

I doubt he will raise charges, because he is probably aware that if this goes public there is big posibility that he could lose his job if the company finds that he was sleeping with a subordinate.

I don't know id somepne already asked but, are your kids aware that your wife cheated on you?


----------



## MattMatt

It's possible your wife had a moment of epiphany. 



> "My husband doesn't hit people! Why'd he do that? :scratchhead:
> 
> "Oh, my! I just realised! It was me! I made my calm, loving husband do that! Me!
> 
> "I'd better try to do something to cheer him up. Steak? Nah! I'll fix up his favourite meatloaf and mashed potatoes. That might take his mind off the pain in his poor hand."


----------



## Nucking Futs

MattMatt said:


> It's possible your wife had a moment of epiphany.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "My husband doesn't hit people! Why'd he do that?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "Oh, my! I just realised! It was me! I made my calm, loving husband do that! Me!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> "I'd better try to do something to cheer him up. Steak? Nah! I'll fix up his favourite meatloaf and mashed potatoes. That might take his mind off the pain in his poor hand."
Click to expand...

That's not a poor hand. It's a great hand. A little jacked up right now, but jacked up for a good reason.

And I'll bet you she has started to realize she chose a candy ass over a real man.


----------



## mablenc

Just poking in to say bravo


----------



## illwill

6301 said:


> I got to hand it to you. You must be a real down to earth kind of guy who doesn't ask for much except a little respect.
> 
> When you said that she fixed your favorite meal of meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes you can't get more down to earth than that. Most guys would be wishing for a 6 course meal. You like meat loaf and mashed potatoes.
> 
> 
> I don't know about the rest of the people posting her but I like this guy and wish him the best and I hope every good thing in life comes your way.


I think all of us are in his fan club. He is a bad motha... ill shut my mouth.


----------



## MattMatt

Just a little off topic but in the UK we can now buy this! Idahoan Mashed Potatoes Original Mashed Archives | See? Civilisation is here in the UK at last! :smthumbup:


----------



## 3putt

For damned sure she now knows who the real man is in her life.

You've certainly got my respect, X.

Just watch that BP, partner. That last pic you posted was beyond scary. Take care of yourself first.


----------



## X-B

3putt said:


> For damned sure she now knows who the real man is in her life.
> 
> You've certainly got my respect, X.
> 
> Just watch that BP, partner. That last pic you posted was beyond scary. Take care of yourself first.


The high BP knocked me for a loop. The Dr was surprised I didn't have a stroke. I thought I was losing my mind. I was at work and suddenly I didn't know where I was at. A coworker took me to the ER and they admitted me. I never did call my wife to tell her where I was. One of the nurses called her the next day without my knowledge to get a list of my medications. pressure is good now. I just needed a IV drip of nitro.


----------



## X-B

If the POSOM was going to cuckold me I was going to coldcoc# him. There is a great group of people here. I wish I had someone local I could talk too about what all is going on in my life. All my friends are mutual friends except one buddy and he is in Afghanistan working.


----------



## the guy

X-Betaman said:


> I did something really dumb today. I was a gas station filling up and POSOm pulled up close to me and started pumping gas. he tried to ignore me but the rage boiled to the top. I walked over and promptly slugged him. and finished filling up. I am sure it is on camera and I am waiting on a knock on the door at this minute. It was like an out of body experience. I am not a violent person so I don't know what came over me. I have a feeling things are fixing to be complicated. I just called a bail bondsman just in case. no sleep for me tonight. Right now my hand is swollen like a grapefruit
> How much worse can this get. What bothers me is I feel no guilt. This is not me at all. He wouldn't even fight back. I an so screwed
> I thought I would get satisfaction but there is nothing but emptiness.


Your my hero.
You may have felt empty but what you did brought warm fuzzy feelings.
So if not for your self then please take a bow for your brother here at TAM.

We thank you for sticking it to the OM.....no matter who's OM it is.
You sir have not just struck an OM but here at TAM you have struck all OM...so we thank.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

the guy said:


> Your my hero.
> You may have felt empty but what you did brought warm fuzzy feelings.
> So if not for your self then please take a bow for your brother here at TAM.
> 
> We thank you for sticking it to the OM.....no matter who's OM it is.
> You sir have not just struck an OM but here at TAM you have struck all OM...so we thank.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree::iagree::iagree:
The guy with all he's going through he is my hero!
To have a "wife" when the going gets a little tough, that is so f^kin disgusting.
It gets my blood boiling sorry.


----------



## X-B

I know this seems cold but I wish POSOM's wife would bust my wife's chops Karma


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> I know this seems cold but I wish POSOM's wife would bust my wife's chops Karma


I'm a little darker than you how about wrestling in jello.
Only you have seen the both of them.
WHO WOULD WIN.
Maybe put it on pay per view and X is a happy independent man.
Problem solved!
Just sayin.


----------



## manticore

X-Betaman said:


> I know this seems cold but I wish POSOM's wife would bust my wife's chops Karma


well, you can always give her a call and tell her that any objection against your actions towards his POS can directed towards your POS in exactly the same way. LOL


----------



## turnera

X-Betaman said:


> If the POSOM was going to cuckold me I was going to coldcoc# him. There is a great group of people here. I wish I had someone local I could talk too about what all is going on in my life. All my friends are mutual friends except one buddy and he is in Afghanistan working.


If they are your friends, why can't you tell them the truth? Isn't that what friends are for?


----------



## tom67

turnera said:


> If they are your friends, why can't you tell them the truth? Isn't that what friends are for?


:iagree:
Just tell them very matter of fact and you will soon find out who your real friends are.


----------



## X-B

tom67 said:


> :iagree:
> Just tell them very matter of fact and you will soon find out who your real friends are.


I would say they are social friends. There is only one real true friend that i have known since we were kids but he is working overseas for another 5 months. But he is a true friend. when he came back for two weeks He gave me a lot of his time. so much that i almost had to run him off so he had more quality time with his own wife and kids. 
Back th the other story tho POMFSOM has a orbital fracture and broke cheek bone. Thats why it hurt me so much. I was aiming for the jaw(I wanted to break it). He has not been to work yet I also heard he is telling some people he got hit by a baseball. His brother texted me telling me it was a cheap shot. I have a bad feeling it may get ugly quick.


----------



## Thor

Deny everything, refuse to make any statement at all to the police. Don't admit to anyone in real life that you hit the guy, not your wife, your friends, the guy's brother, nobody.

The longer he waits to press charges the less likely there is any video evidence. Businesses tend to overwrite old tapes or disks as long as nothing bad was known to have happened such as a robbery.


----------



## manticore

what is cheap is a f*cking coward going after your wife when you are battling your condition, you can text him that and also that if he wants he is free to raise charges and you will be more than happy to make the whole affair public at the authorities and his work if they want.

I don't think things will turn ugly, he would had said the truth about the injury if he wanted to raise charges, and in the other hand if for any stupid reason the brother retaliate physically against you, you can put him in jail and ruin his CV for life, unlike OM you can raise charges for assault wihtout problem, so you can mess both brothers.


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> I would say they are social friends. There is only one real true friend that i have known since we were kids but he is working overseas for another 5 months. But he is a true friend. when he came back for two weeks He gave me a lot of his time. so much that i almost had to run him off so he had more quality time with his own wife and kids.
> Back th the other story tho POMFSOM has a orbital fracture and broke cheek bone. Thats why it hurt me so much. I was aiming for the jaw(I wanted to break it). He has not been to work yet I also heard he is telling some people he got hit by a baseball. His brother texted me telling me it was a cheap shot. I have a bad feeling it may get ugly quick.


Not near as cheap as the shot he took at you and your marriage! That brother has some nerve. I wouldn't worry about it going any further. They both sound like a couple of cowards.


----------



## just got it 55

X-Betaman said:


> I would say they are social friends. There is only one real true friend that i have known since we were kids but he is working overseas for another 5 months. But he is a true friend. when he came back for two weeks He gave me a lot of his time. so much that i almost had to run him off so he had more quality time with his own wife and kids.
> Back th the other story tho 1 *POMFSOM has a orbital fracture and broke cheek bone. *Thats why it hurt me so much. I was aiming for the jaw(I wanted to break it). He has not been to work yet I also heard he is telling some people he got hit by a baseball. 2 *His brother texted me telling me it was a cheap shot.* I have a bad feeling it may get ugly quick.


Nice on point one

on point 2 I think you're even seeing as he gave your wife a cheap shot in the shorts

I bet point 1 makes your hand feel better now


----------



## MattMatt

X-Betaman said:


> I would say they are social friends. There is only one real true friend that i have known since we were kids but he is working overseas for another 5 months. But he is a true friend. when he came back for two weeks He gave me a lot of his time. so much that i almost had to run him off so he had more quality time with his own wife and kids.
> Back th the other story tho POMFSOM has a orbital fracture and broke cheek bone. Thats why it hurt me so much. I was aiming for the jaw(I wanted to break it). He has not been to work yet I also heard he is telling some people he got hit by a baseball. His brother texted me telling me it was a cheap shot. I have a bad feeling it may get ugly quick.


*
But not nearly as cheap a shot as stealing your wife*.


----------



## X-B

I never replied to his brother. I din't think it was a cheap shot at all. he saw me ar least 40 or 50 feet away as I walked toward him. What did he think I was doing? Comong over to give him a hug or something. He is not going to say anything to cause trouble. The scumbag did call my wife to tell her to stay far away from him. It is far too late for us to fix anything. I had already lost all respect for her. At this moment in time it is a marriage of convenience. I have already told her I was not leaving my house and if she didn't want to be around me to get out right now. When everything i squared away and I can get my own insurance I am filing. Which may be a while since I can't afford my own policy right now because after much research a policy like I need with affordable premiums right now would cost me at least 30,000 out of pocket every year.


----------



## turnera

Some people get it put in their divorce decrees that the spouse has to continue their insurance coverage. Have you asked your lawyer?


----------



## manticore

X-Betaman said:


> The scumbag did call my wife to tell her to stay far away from him........ When everything i squared away and I can get my own insurance I am filing. Which may be a while since I can't afford my own policy right now because after much research a policy like I need with affordable premiums right now would cost me at least 30,000 out of pocket every year.


do you think that he would try to get your wife fired? I remember that he is kind of her boss ins't?, I see difficult for him staying away from here if he have to see here every day at work 

I am ignorant in the subject, but there is not a way to receive the benefits through a divorce arrangement?, I think you talked about it with lawyer sometime ago isn't?

changing the subject a Little, how are doing physically?


----------



## 6301

X-Betaman said:


> I would say they are social friends. There is only one real true friend that i have known since we were kids but he is working overseas for another 5 months. But he is a true friend. when he came back for two weeks He gave me a lot of his time. so much that i almost had to run him off so he had more quality time with his own wife and kids.
> Back th the other story tho POMFSOM has a orbital fracture and broke cheek bone. Thats why it hurt me so much. I was aiming for the jaw(I wanted to break it). He has not been to work yet I also heard he is telling some people he got hit by a baseball. His brother texted me telling me it was a cheap shot. I have a bad feeling it may get ugly quick.


 Text his brother back and tell him that the OM is lucky that's all that happened and if he has a brain in his head he'll stay as far away as possible because the next time you see him......................you might get mad this time.


----------



## happyman64

6301 said:


> Text his brother back and tell him that the OM is lucky that's all that happened and if he has a brain in his head he'll stay as far away as possible because the next time you see him......................you might get mad this time.


Text him that he took plenty of cheap shots with your wife.

He is lucky you only took one on his face!

Text him that.


----------



## illwill

Do not text anything about this fight.


----------



## larry.gray

manticore said:


> do you think that he would try to get your wife fired?


If she is a subordinate, getting her fired leaves the company open to lots of liability.


----------



## X-B

happyman64 said:


> Text him that he took plenty of cheap shots with your wife.
> 
> He is lucky you only took one on his face!
> 
> Text him that.


I am going to try to let it blow over for now. My wife likes 13 months before she is fully vested into her 30 year pension retirement account. in my state I will get 1/2. That will be a large amount. She doesn't know it yet.Now that will hurt her where it counts the most. She has always talked about how much she will have and expects to have it easy. I loath her now so much it hurts but she left me no choice. She is going to lose her dream mini farm. The house is ours but most of the acreage belongs to my family. She will have no where to keep her horses and her 22 year hobby of love comes to a stop.
Sorry if I seem to be rambling from one thing to another but when my so called perfect world came apart at the seams my mind is all over the place. I think I need a vacation out west to a rabbit ranch or some caall it the Bunny Ranch and relieve some stress or even having a few beers with someone that has been through this stuff.This day to day rollercoaster is starting to get old. well it is not even a roller coaster because at least they go up sometimes and mine always seems going down.


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> I am going to try to let it blow over for now. My wife likes 13 months before she is fully vested into her 30 year pension retirement account. in my state I will get 1/2. That will be a large amount. She doesn't know it yet.Now that will hurt her where it counts the most. She has always talked about how much she will have and expects to have it easy. I loath her now so much it hurts but she left me no choice. She is going to lose her dream mini farm. The house is ours but most of the acreage belongs to my family. She will have no where to keep her horses and her 22 year hobby of love comes to a stop.
> Sorry if I seem to be rambling from one thing to another but when my so called perfect world came apart at the seams my mind is all over the place. I think I need a vacation out west to a rabbit ranch or some caall it the Bunny Ranch and relieve some stress or even having a few beers with someone that has been through this stuff.This day to day rollercoaster is starting to get old. well it is not even a roller coaster because at least they go up sometimes and mine always seems going down.


X stick with the plan.
You are the man.


----------



## X-B

manticore said:


> do you think that he would try to get your wife fired? I remember that he is kind of her boss ins't?, I see difficult for him staying away from here if he have to see here every day at work
> 
> I am ignorant in the subject, but there is not a way to receive the benefits through a divorce arrangement?, I think you talked about it with lawyer sometime ago isn't?
> 
> changing the subject a Little, how are doing physically?[/QUOTE
> I think he could be in more trouble. he is sort of her boss. She works for the county and he is in charge of a subcontractor company working for the county under contract. Some new way the county thinks it can save money.
> Me physically am doing ok. Finished last round of chemo and am having a PET scan next week hopefully. My hand is mostly numb now


----------



## raven3321

Hand in there guy.


----------



## sh987

X-Betaman said:


> I would say they are social friends. There is only one real true friend that i have known since we were kids but he is working overseas for another 5 months. But he is a true friend. when he came back for two weeks He gave me a lot of his time. so much that i almost had to run him off so he had more quality time with his own wife and kids.
> Back th the other story tho POMFSOM has a orbital fracture and broke cheek bone. Thats why it hurt me so much. I was aiming for the jaw(I wanted to break it). He has not been to work yet I also heard he is telling some people he got hit by a baseball. *His brother texted me telling me it was a cheap shot.* I have a bad feeling it may get ugly quick.


And the POSOM running around with your wife wasn't a cheap shot? Is he having a laugh?


----------



## treyvion

X-Betaman said:


> I would say they are social friends. There is only one real true friend that i have known since we were kids but he is working overseas for another 5 months. But he is a true friend. when he came back for two weeks He gave me a lot of his time. so much that i almost had to run him off so he had more quality time with his own wife and kids.
> Back th the other story tho POMFSOM has a orbital fracture and broke cheek bone. Thats why it hurt me so much. I was aiming for the jaw(I wanted to break it). He has not been to work yet I also heard he is telling some people he got hit by a baseball. His brother texted me telling me it was a cheap shot. I have a bad feeling it may get ugly quick.


X-betaman,

You are lucky they didn't press charges. However in the new incident, you aren't supposed to be brandishing firearms or weapons to defend yourself. You could get into alot of trouble.

I would have faith that god is on your side. If you are forced to defend yourself against this brother, you are going to have to eliminite the threat, i would also call the police and press charges to get it on the record.

That way if they want to come back with guns or anything like that the police are already aware of it. This would shut it completely down.

You don't want to fight them guys, and if you have to, they are getting their asses kicked AND going to jail too.


----------



## bandit.45

When you beat this cancer, and re-marry someday, make sure you never marry a horsewoman again. 

I grew up and around horsey types. Next to teachers, nurses and cops, they are the most adulterous group of people you will ever deal with. Awful subculture.


----------



## treyvion

bandit.45 said:


> When you beat this cancer, and re-marry someday, make sure you never marry a horsewoman again.
> 
> I grew up and around horsey types. Next to teachers, nurses and cops, they are the most adulterous group of people you will ever deal with. Awful subculture.


What's a "horsey" type?


----------



## 3putt

treyvion said:


> What's a "horsey" type?


Sarah Jessica Parker maybe? Durned if I know.


----------



## Thor

Add in wives of pilots to the list.


----------



## bandit.45

treyvion said:


> What's a "horsey" type?


Show jumpers, western pleasure, dressage, cross country, triathlon, endurance, rodeo, take your pick... A very tightknit, isolated peer group of overachieving Type A personalities.

Long periods on the road traveling to shows, separated from spouse, financial infidelity due to the high cost of horse ownership, extreme competitiveness between club members, lonliness, temptation at every turn... 

Case in point? Arbitrator's ex-wife was a horsey type, and she used her travel for horse shows to hide her cheating excursions. 

I avoid these people like the plague. Arizona used to be a pure cowboy state until rich, middle aged horsewomen moved in and fvcked it up for everyone.... It has gotten so expensive to own a horse now that only the wealthy can enjoy it.


----------



## treyvion

3putt said:


> Sarah Jessica Parker maybe? Durned if I know.


That's what I thought he meant too.


----------



## treyvion

Thor said:


> Add in wives of pilots to the list.


Wives of military men and truck drivers too?


----------



## OnTheRocks

I also grew up riding horses (my mother forced it, really), and completely agree with bandit. Chicks that are into horsies are consistently catty, melodramatic, competitive, back-stabbing, entitled, self-absorbed, and pretentious. I would even say my own mother has most of those traits, although I am usually not on the receiving end.


----------



## 3putt

OnTheRocks said:


> I also grew up riding horses (my mother forced it, really), and completely agree with bandit. Chicks that are into horsies are consistently catty, melodramatic, competitive, back-stabbing, entitled, self-absorbed, and pretentious. I would even say my own mother has most of those traits, although I am usually not on the receiving end.


I just remembered I dated a girl 20 some odd years ago whose mother was a 'horsey-girl'. Didn't even think about it until you listed those traits and then had kind of an aha moment.


----------



## treyvion

OnTheRocks said:


> I also grew up riding horses (my mother forced it, really), and completely agree with bandit. Chicks that are into horsies are consistently catty, melodramatic, competitive, back-stabbing, entitled, self-absorbed, and pretentious. I would even say my own mother has most of those traits, although I am usually not on the receiving end.


Well I guess it's possible certain lifestyles and endevours do have stereotypical traits associated with them.


----------



## treyvion

3putt said:


> I just remembered I dated a girl 20 some odd years ago whose mother was a 'horsey-girl'. Didn't even think about it until you listed those traits and then had kind of an aha moment.


Is it just the culture or something about being around the animals that brings out a hornier side in people? I mean maybe I need to go be around some horses.


----------



## OnTheRocks

It's mostly the wealth creating a tendency to have entitled princess complex, IMO.


----------



## 3putt

treyvion said:


> Is it just the culture or something about being around the animals that brings out a hornier side in people? I mean maybe I need to go be around some horses.


LOL...I don't think it's that as her mother hated sex according to the GF. It was the reason her parents ended up divorced (he did cheat on her). The entitlement is more what I was referring to. Actually, arrogance would be a better word.


----------



## treyvion

3putt said:


> LOL...I don't think it's that as her mother hated sex according to the GF. It was the reason her parents ended up divorced (he did cheat on her). The entitlement is more what I was referring to. Actually, arrogance would be a better word.


They've attained the very highest levels of human arrogance... Understood.


----------



## 3putt

treyvion said:


> They've attained the very highest levels of human arrogance... Understood.


That's simply my limited experience with it...nothing more. Don't want any horse folks thinking I'm painting them all with the same broad stroke.


----------



## OnTheRocks

All little girls want a horsey. The ones that actually get one tend to be extremely spoiled in most other aspects of their life as well.


----------



## bandit.45

A girl who grows up learning how to handle and manipulate a 1,200 pound horse will, later on, find it very easy to handle and manipulate men.


----------



## larry.gray

bandit.45 said:


> When you beat this cancer, and re-marry someday, make sure you never marry a horsewoman again.
> 
> I grew up and around horsey types. Next to teachers, nurses and cops, they are the most adulterous group of people you will ever deal with. Awful subculture.


Oh crap I'm familiar with that one. 

My oldest competes on the high school equestrian team. Some of the other young ladies there are exactly as you describe.

One in particular gives incredible heartburn to a good friend of my wife. Her son is 'dating' one of the girls that graduated a couple of years ago. Mom has a bad history of cheating, with a good chance the girl isn't the husband's. This girl hasn't strayed far from mom's history. The boy is attracted to her sheer beauty. And keeps coming back even though she's cheated twice already.


----------



## larry.gray

bandit.45 said:


> A girl who grows up learning how to handle and manipulate a 1,200 pound horse will, later on, find it very easy to handle and manipulate men.


Along with the fact that they tend to be the little princess that daddy is willing to drop a ton of money on to show he loves her. It's a girl that has been able to grow up always getting exactly what she wants.


----------



## X-B

treyvion said:


> X-betaman,
> 
> You are lucky they didn't press charges. However in the new incident, you aren't supposed to be brandishing firearms or weapons to defend yourself. You could get into alot of trouble.
> 
> I would have faith that god is on your side. If you are forced to defend yourself against this brother, you are going to have to eliminite the threat, i would also call the police and press charges to get it on the record.
> 
> That way if they want to come back with guns or anything like that the police are already aware of it. This would shut it completely down.
> 
> You don't want to fight them guys, and if you have to, they are getting their asses kicked AND going to jail too.


I am not worried one tiny bit about any of his people. I truely believe he deserved what he had coming. I know he deserved it but that is not the type of person I am. Any way I have a I CC and have a permit.I have been a volunteer instructor at the local club for 17 years. I back down from no one. The main thing I worry about is a civil suit. there is some itiots out there that mat think his feelings would feel better if he got some cash. I know it probably wont happen but lately I have been looking at the glass half empty. My POS wife doesn't say a word about it. I am just giung to try to forget it myself. 
As far as her being a horsey person it took me years just to get her to ride with me. We used to go all over the place until fences started poping up everywhere,UGG Now to get a good long ride in I have to load them up and go to the state park. But that is over for her. She gets all pouty now because I will load up and go by myself without asking her. I think that is the only real thing I can use to get back at her. After she is gone that may be a good way to meet lady friends.


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> *Yes he is married.*I was trying to take the highroad. Failed again. But how much can one person take.


X, have you called this POS's BW? And if not, why not? I missed all this before. Calling her and letting her know what's going on in her marriage IS taking the high road.


----------



## MattMatt

3putt said:


> X, have you called this POS's BW? And if not, why not? I missed all this before. Calling her and letting her know what's going on in her marriage IS taking the high road.


Yeah. She'll need to get checked for STDs. Her POSH is probably cheating with other women, too.


----------



## X-B

3putt said:


> X, have you called this POS's BW? And if not, why not? I missed all this before. Calling her and letting her know what's going on in her marriage IS taking the high road.


yes I have talked to her a few times. She is a timid lady that does not work and is very terrified to leave. I feel sorry for her. we were friends on Facebook a couple of weeks until her account disappeared. The exact opposite of my take charge outgoing person like my wife. 
After he slammed his head into my hand he told my POS wife to stay away from him.


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> yes I have talked to her a few times. She is a timid lady that does not work and is very terrified to leave. I feel sorry for her. we were friends on Facebook a couple of weeks until her account disappeared. The exact opposite of my take charge outgoing person like my wife.
> * After he slammed his dead into my hand he told my POS wife to stay away from him.*


Good deal, partner. Just asking as, like I said, I missed it the first time around.

How do you know he told your WW to stay away from him? No way she told you.....or did she? Just confused on some things here as you haven't kept us quite in the know. Not a complaint as we know your health problems and are concerned about that even more, but there are some blanks in there that we mentally fill in ourselves. Usually incorrectly of course.

How's that BP tonight? I hope a helluva lot better than that last pic you posted.


----------



## X-B

3putt said:


> Good deal, partner. Just asking as, like I said, I missed it the first time around.
> 
> How do you know he told your WW to stay away from him? No way she told you.....or did she? Just confused on some things here as you haven't kept us quite in the know. Not a complaint as we know your health problems and are concerned about that even more, but there are some blanks in there that we mentally fill in ourselves. Usually incorrectly of course.
> 
> How's that BP tonight? I hope a helluva lot better than that last pic you posted.


He texted her (I still monitor) as far as I know it was first text in a while. I am sorry to jump from one thing to another ubt my brain is just a rambling jumble of thoughts and I usually just post whats on my mind at that moment.
My blood pressure is good today. It is hit or miss with meds. Stress can play a factor in it too. earlier this year I was in the hospital because my pressure was too low. I have had high blood pressure since 1995 but no real problems until this year. 

Ok to change the subject one night a couple of months ago I did something really stupid. while drinking(I don't hardly EVER drink) i was feeling really down and alone and texted POSOM and told him to stay away or I would break his teeth every time I saw him. That is why I worry about being in trouble if he saved the text. Not smart I know but I am not real rational right now. Too much on my mind. see i am rambling again. Thanks for letting me vent.


----------



## tom67

X he won't do anything because there is a thing called discovery.
If he filed simply put you would have a right to whatever records you wanted ahem phone records ect.

Ok X your situation is unique with your health issues.
I may get ripped for this but here it goes.
I only propose this as a suggestion go to bAckpage.com find a "friend" to spend time with.
What your w did to you is just plain evil.
If you want to tell me to go to [email protected] that's fine.
Your situation and the way your w handled it really p!sses me off.


----------



## X-B

tom67 said:


> X he won't do anything because there is a thing called discovery.
> If he filed simply put you would have a right to whatever records you wanted ahem phone records ect.
> 
> Ok X your situation is unique with your health issues.
> I may get ripped for this but here it goes.
> I only propose this as a suggestion go to bAckpage.com find a "friend" to spend time with.
> What your w did to you is just plain evil.
> If you want to tell me to go to [email protected] that's fine.
> Your situation and the way your w handled it really p!sses me off.


I like your stress relief idea. I wish I could afford a trip to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada. 
Last week i asked her a question and i told her to think on it a while. Her parents have been married 46 years and I asked what would she think of her mom if she starting acting and doing what she has been doing. I will give her another week before I demand an answer. I know she will just say "I dunno"


----------



## Acabado

X-beta
I can't imagine how your relationship, day to day things, is with your wife. 
Did she ever show any trace of remorse, apologized, gave any kind of explanation or hinted her plans. Is she just expecting for you to fishish the treatment and get served?
I we have to conclude from your posts it seems there's absolutly no comunication even about small things, schedules... let along the past, the future... Like limbo hell.


----------



## X-B

Acabado said:


> X-beta
> I can't imagine how your relationship, day to day things, is with your wife.
> Did she ever show any trace of remorse, apologized, gave any kind of explanation or hinted her plans. Is she just expecting for you to fishish the treatment and get served?
> I we have to conclude from your posts it seems there's absolutly no comunication even about small things, schedules... let along the past, the future... Like limbo hell.


Linbo hell is the right word.Everything is just business like. Somehow she thought I would just move in with a friend or somebody and give her the house so she could live with the kids so they could have a normal life. She didn't like the idea when i told her if she wanted to throw me away she should get the hell out and me and the kids would be better off with her gone. I told her at least I would make sure they had a real supper instead of buying five bags of pizza rolls every week.


----------



## tom67

Good grief pizza rolls everyday
:slap:
That's real healthy.


----------



## bandit.45

X-Betaman said:


> Linbo hell is the right word.Everything is just business like. *Somehow she thought I would just move in with a friend or somebody and give her the house so she could live with the kids so they could have a normal life.* She didn't like the idea when i told her if she wanted to throw me away she should get the hell out and me and the kids would be better off with her gone. I told her at least I would make sure they had a real supper instead of buying five bags of pizza rolls every week.


Fvcking beotch. 

Normal life is frozen food out of a bag huh? Real winner you married there dude.


----------



## bfree

bandit.45 said:


> Fvcking beotch.
> 
> Normal life is frozen food out of a bag huh? Real winner you married there dude.


Seems like she's as cold as her dinners.


----------



## treyvion

X-Betaman said:


> Linbo hell is the right word.Everything is just business like. Somehow she thought I would just move in with a friend or somebody and give her the house so she could live with the kids so they could have a normal life. She didn't like the idea when i told her if she wanted to throw me away she should get the hell out and me and the kids would be better off with her gone. I told her at least I would make sure they had a real supper instead of buying five bags of pizza rolls every week.


"Real men cook". "Real fathers real men"

Show them kids what real love feels like!


----------



## treyvion

tom67 said:


> Good grief pizza rolls everyday
> :slap:
> That's real healthy.


It wasn't about health, it was about how little effort is required to prepare them...


----------



## tom67

treyvion said:


> It wasn't about health, it was about how little effort is required to prepare them...


:iagree:
It's both


----------



## MattMatt

Add extra cheese and serve the damn things with soup. See? Two course meal!:smthumbup:


----------



## X-B

MattMatt said:


> Add extra cheese and serve the damn things with soup. See? Two course meal!:smthumbup:


We can't forget the giant box of Uncrustables for breakfast lol


----------



## X-B

Always keep your cool. even when you win you lose. It was three and not two I was told at first


----------



## just got it 55

X-Betaman said:


> Always keep your cool. even when you win you lose. It was three and not two I was told at first


I still say it was worth it


----------



## manticore

honor wounds


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> Always keep your cool. even when you win you lose. It was three and not two I was told at first


Those will heal faster than what else is broken. Look on the bright side. That X-ray is what his face looks like.

What did the WW have to say about this?


----------



## MattMatt

X-Betaman said:


> Always keep your cool. even when you win you lose. It was three and not two I was told at first


Ouch!


----------



## 3putt

MattMatt said:


> Ouch!


Yep, but think about the other guy's ouch. That should help.

Can't help but to imagine the damage you would've done if that punch had landed squarely. As evidenced by the ray, he managed to shift just enough to avoid the full blow, hence your broken fingers. Full force on that part of his face would've resulted in your knuckles being relocated into the back of your hand.

And unless that photo is inverted, you're a southpaw too. Rocky would be impressed.


----------



## treyvion

X-Betaman said:


> Always keep your cool. even when you win you lose. It was three and not two I was told at first


Damn dude...


----------



## illwill

Im gonna make that my new screensaver.


----------



## X-B

3putt said:


> Those will heal faster than what else is broken. Look on the bright side. That X-ray is what his face looks like.
> 
> What did the WW have to say about this?


WW only said
she is not worth it. I told her she is not worth it but my pride is


----------



## X-B

3putt said:


> Yep, but think about the other guy's ouch. That should help.
> 
> Can't help but to imagine the damage you would've done if that punch had landed squarely. As evidenced by the ray, he managed to shift just enough to avoid the full blow, hence your broken fingers. Full force on that part of his face would've resulted in your knuckles being relocated into the back of your hand.
> 
> And unless that photo is inverted, you're a southpaw too. Rocky would be impressed.


I am a lefty and my Dr. told me if I ever want to hit anybody again stay away from the face or head because facial bones are stronger than fingers. He said lower ribs are a much better target. Go figure. That day was a combination of everything going wrong. I had just left The store I hate to be at Wal mart and some a$$hole doored the crap out of my truck.As soon as I left my low fuel dinger thingy started going off I pulled into a gas station and there he was. I just walked over and put everything I had into saying hello to him. It still hurts even with the good stuff pain meds. In the movies they make it look so easy. Now I know that is BS. So now movies are ruined for me.


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> WW only said
> she is not worth it. I told her she is not worth it but my pride is


Well stated. She must be feeling pretty pathetic right about now.

Good....she's earned it.


----------



## illwill

On some level this strokes her ego more. But who cares that s.o.b. respects you now doesn't he?


----------



## notadoormat

omg i am so sorry. Please do not 100% believe what she said as truth. She is cheating so she possibly has to "hide" you and keep you isolated
then she has to justify. So she says this. My ws did same. I felt like he ashamed to be seen with me. He later admitted he isolated me to keep his private life private. Just because its on a var does not make it all real..she could be lying to her sis to justify herself. My ws did same to his bro. Take care of you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

after I get rid of this parasite I am done with any relationships forever.I can not go through this ever again. I am DONE forever.At least when you are lonely you can't get screwed over. I was true to my word for over 25 years and got screwed. At least being alone I can't get the shaft again. Sorry to be so down but it has been a bad year.


----------



## illwill

Year just started. Do you really want her to be your only love? You dont realize how awesome women can be.


----------



## bandit.45

X-Betaman said:


> after I get rid of this parasite I am done with any relationships forever.I can not go through this ever again. I am DONE forever.At least when you are lonely you can't get screwed over. I was true to my word for over 25 years and got screwed. At least being alone I can't get the shaft again. Sorry to be so down but it has been a bad year.


I too am embracing celibacy. I know where you are coming from.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## weightlifter

X-Betaman said:


> after I get rid of this parasite I am done with any relationships forever.I can not go through this ever again. I am DONE forever.At least when you are lonely you can't get screwed over. I was true to my word for over 25 years and got screwed. At least being alone I can't get the shaft again. Sorry to be so down but it has been a bad year.


If you do this.
She wins.


----------



## treyvion

bandit.45 said:


> I too am embracing celibacy. I know where you are coming from.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's crazy. You can't blame all women on some bad ones.

Make better choices. It might even be ones you don't think your attracted to up front.


----------



## 3putt

treyvion said:


> That's crazy. You can't blame all women on some bad ones.
> 
> *Make better choices.* It might even be ones you don't think your attracted to up front.


Alright treyvion, I was gonna let this go, then thought, nahhhhh. We've butted heads over this before so this reply shouldn't come as a complete shock to you.

Why is it that you throw out 'making better choices' every time someone goes through infidelity? Do you really believe that all on this board that have had to deal with this are really THAT bad at picking a partner? Frankly, I consider this quite an insult to all of us that have BTDT. Infidelity happens for a multitude of reasons, and yeah, some of them DO involve bad choices in partners, but that is really quite rare. We're really not that stupid.

Infidelity can happen to anyone, as we all have seen and experienced. You can't possibly believe that they are all a result of poor marital decisions from the onset, can you? No, you can't. Sometimes sh!t just happens, and it has no bearing on a perceived lack of abilities to choose properly. Sometimes it just is what it is.

I may be splitting hairs here, but this 'bad choice' crap just rubs me the wrong way.


----------



## turnera

Read more about why we pick the people we do. You will be AMAZED at how likely you are to pick a dysfunctional partner if you were raised in a dysfunctional home. Unless you get good therapy and learn how to circumvent drawing in the wrong types. Tons of books on it.


----------



## 3putt

turnera said:


> Read more about why we pick the people we do. You will be AMAZED at how likely you are to pick a dysfunctional partner if you were raised in a dysfunctional home. Unless you get good therapy and learn how to circumvent drawing in the wrong types. Tons of books on it.


Not sure if you were replying to me or treyvion, but I think that I prefaced my comments by saying that it does happen. I just feel it's more the exception and not the rule. Infidelity happens a lot more because of bad choices made by the offending party than a bad choice by the BS as to who to say "I do" at the altar.

By your logic, I have to wonder if EI, pidge, CM, and a host of other FWWs on this board think their husbands made bad choices when they chose them to marry. If infidelity does occur in a marriage, and we just made bad choices in a partner, then why would their BHs choose to reconcile with the same bad choice they made initially?

Seems kind of idiotic to me.


----------



## manticore

3putt said:


> Alright treyvion, I was gonna let this go, then thought, nahhhhh. We've butted heads over this before so this reply shouldn't come as a complete shock to you.
> 
> Why is it that you throw out 'making better choices' every time someone goes through infidelity? Do you really believe that all on this board that have had to deal with this are really THAT bad at picking a partner? Frankly, I consider this quite an insult to all of us that have BTDT. Infidelity happens for a multitude of reasons, and yeah, some of them DO involve bad choices in partners, but that is really quite rare. We're really not that stupid.
> 
> Infidelity can happen to anyone, as we all have seen and experienced. You can't possibly believe that they are all a result of poor marital decisions from the onset, can you? No, you can't. Sometimes sh!t just happens, and it has no bearing on a perceived lack of abilities to choose properly. Sometimes it just is what it is.
> 
> I may be splitting hairs here, but this 'bad choice' crap just rubs me the wrong way.



you have an interesting point 3put, unfortunatly if something is clear to me is that infidelity have so many forms and variables that trying ot prevent it from just one side is impossible, both partners have to be committed to each other and still be aware that anyone who don't set proper boundaries can end being unfaithful.

there are a users that have the firm belief that a woman with a high romantic interest in her husband doesn't cheat, but this is not always truth there are many users here that claim that had a very good relationship (emotianlly, sexualy speaking, and with good companionship) with their WW until the moment that they began to cheat emotinally with the other man like the case of "the Flood" and "shamwow" and we have FWW that had ratified this as "Tears", so really is something you don't even have a way to see it coming until is already happening.


----------



## weightlifter

Tons here where the wife went from devoted to cheating within say 2 months.


----------



## bandit.45

treyvion said:


> That's crazy. You can't blame all women on some bad ones.
> 
> Make better choices. It might even be ones you don't think your attracted to up front.


I'm not blaming women. I love the heck out of women. Always will. I choose to stay single for practical reasons, and simply because I have no extra energy to invest into emotional commitments anymore. 

So.... Chill 


_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3putt

manticore said:


> you have an interesting point 3put, unfortunatly if something is clear to me is that infidelity have so many forms and varibles that trying ot prevent it from just one side is imposible, both partners have to be commited to each other and still be aware that anyone who don't set proper boundaries can end being unfaithful.
> 
> there are a users that have the firm belief that a woman with a high romantic interest in her husband doesn't cheat, but this is not always truth there are many users here that claim that had a very good relationship (emotianlly, sexualy speaking, and with good companionship) with their WW until the moment that they began to cheat emotinally with the other man like the case of "the Flood" and "shamwow" and we have FWW that had ratified this as "Tears", so really is something you don't even have a way to see it coming until is already happening.


That's pretty much my point. There are SO many variables that go into what we see here and have lived ourselves. I don't think that making a 'bad choice' to whom you marry is even close to the top of that list.

Wayyyy too much in between stuff to consider before making that assumption.


----------



## bandit.45

Getting involved with any person is a roll of the dice. That's just life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## treyvion

3putt said:


> Alright treyvion, I was gonna let this go, then thought, nahhhhh. We've butted heads over this before so this reply shouldn't come as a complete shock to you.
> 
> Why is it that you throw out 'making better choices' every time someone goes through infidelity? Do you really believe that all on this board that have had to deal with this are really THAT bad at picking a partner? Frankly, I consider this quite an insult to all of us that have BTDT. Infidelity happens for a multitude of reasons, and yeah, some of them DO involve bad choices in partners, but that is really quite rare. We're really not that stupid.


I didn't call anyone stupid. I said WE may have a better relationship with someone we normally wouldn't be attracted to. Maybe it's not scorching hot with this person and she is considered boring by many. But she is stable and consistent and hasn't really banged a whole lot of guys.



3putt said:


> Infidelity can happen to anyone, as we all have seen and experienced. You can't possibly believe that they are all a result of poor marital decisions from the onset, can you? No, you can't. Sometimes sh!t just happens, and it has no bearing on a perceived lack of abilities to choose properly. Sometimes it just is what it is.


I got blown out by a woman I left a previous woman for. So that was on me. I just think there is a different way we can go about this all and have a better outcome. Why not get a Mrs "Peter Griffin" from the family guy? A family lady, attractive enough, very responsible and has our back?



3putt said:


> I may be splitting hairs here, but this 'bad choice' crap just rubs me the wrong way.


Sorry, it wasn't meant in that manner. I was talking about myself too. Maybe what I think I'm attracted to isn't good for me.


----------



## manticore

treyvion said:


> I got blown out by a woman I left a previous woman for. So that was on me. I just think there is a different way we can go about this all and have a better outcome. *Why not get a Mrs "Peter Griffin" from the family guy? A family lady, attractive enough, very responsible and has our back?*


bad example my friend, she cheated on Peter with Bill Clinton if I remember correctly


----------



## X-B

For over 25 years not counting dating times she was perfect to me. Everything in my life was great. She is tho mother of my children by choice. She would do anything for me and I would do the same for her. i bought her flowers and gifts for no reason and she would do great thinks for me. She even surprised me with tickets to the Daytona 500. Then one day out of the blue a switch flipped and nothing I did was right. She started complaining about everything that was perfect before. Kitchen counters became too small. I dind'y make enough money so I took on side work and doubled income,but she still complained. She wanted a new car and I bought her the one she picked out. But it was not good enough. No matter what you do life still sucks...........


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

X-Betaman said:


> Always keep your cool. even when you win you lose. It was three and not two I was told at first


OMG xbeta those breaks look just like my humerus last year. It took ten months to heal and was excruciating. You must be in a lot of pain. Gosh please be careful! 

I am really sorry all these things are happening to you. You should try to do something to reduce your stress. ANYTHING. How long did the doctor say that hand will be out of commission?


----------



## treyvion

X-Betaman said:


> For over 25 years not counting dating times she was perfect to me. Everything in my life was great. She is tho mother of my children by choice. She would do anything for me and I would do the same for her. i bought her flowers and gifts for no reason and she would do great thinks for me. She even surprised me with tickets to the Daytona 500. Then one day out of the blue a switch flipped and nothing I did was right. She started complaining about everything that was perfect before. Kitchen counters became too small. I dind'y make enough money so I took on side work and doubled income,but she still complained. She wanted a new car and I bought her the one she picked out. But it was not good enough. No matter what you do life still sucks...........


X-betaman...

When that switched flipped on your wife was she already cheating by then? They do that...


----------



## weightlifter

Ok i missed it. Your fingers broke when he kept headbutting your fist?


----------



## Ceegee

3putt said:


> That's pretty much my point. There are SO many variables that go into what we see here and have lived ourselves. I don't think that making a 'bad choice' to whom you marry is even close to the top of that list.
> 
> Wayyyy too much in between stuff to consider before making that assumption.


You are right, of course. 

However, "making better choices" will always be good advice. 

Each relationship experience we have teaches us lessons. 

Making better choices doesn't assign blame. 

My X was what treyion described. Cute but not beautiful. She had class and style. She was very sweet and everyone liked her but guys were not exactly breaking down her door. 

During our engagement, her parents went through a bitter divorce. It was then that I saw that her family had serious issues. 

During our marriage I saw many FOO issues. I chose to ignore them. 

Point is, I thought I was making a wise decision. SHE was a great person despite her family issues. 

Now, I know better than to disregard their family issues. 

Wasn't my fault, I didn't know better. 

Now I do, hence I will make a better decion if there is a next time.


----------



## bandit.45

X, it is heartbreaking to watch someone you love and devoted your life to self-destruct before your eyes. Understand that all of that anger and dissatisfaction she was showing towards you was just projection of her own guilt and unhappiness. 

To try to explain why a perfectly good, decent person suddenly goes bad is fruitless. 

Your wife, at some point in her cheating, stepped over the line and threw away her morals and personal code of ethics. Once a person does that, they throw away a large portion of their soul. It is very, very difficult to ever get that back. 

I suspect that a large part of your wife's indifference to you is not really indifference, but rather she is displaying hoplessness. She is frozen in hoplessness. She knows nothing she can say or do will ever prompt you to forgive what she did to you. So being the weak person she is, she won't even try. She would rather say nothing, watch you die, let her guilt be buried with you, and then move on and then limp her way through the rest of her life, hoping she can somehow get people to forget what she did.

She is a coward. She will never step up and try to do what is right, because that would be too damn hard. It's not because she doesn't love you. I think in her own broken way she does. But she is so consumed by guilt and ennui that she simply feels it is no use to try to make things up to you....you would never forgive her anyway. 

Somehow, if you want to save this marriage, you have to get her out of thios mode of existence. 

OR...

She is a heartless unfeeling sociopath who probably never really cared about you and was faking it for twenty somthing years....

OR...

She just got it in her head one day to do evil.


----------



## X-B

weightlifter said:


> Ok i missed it. Your fingers broke when he kept headbutting your fist?


Yep. except he only headbutted my hand one time. It took massive amounts of self control to walk away pretending my hand didn't hurt and not lay in the fetal position and cry like a little girl because the hand pain as crippling. Now I have to wera a big azz splint 6-8 weeks.It changes everything like I had to switch pockets for my wallet and keys.


----------



## WyshIknew

X-Betaman said:


> Yep. except he only headbutted my hand one time. It took massive amounts of self control to walk away pretending my hand didn't hurt and not lay in the fetal position and cry like a little girl because the hand pain as crippling. Now I have to wera a big azz splint 6-8 weeks.It changes everything like I had to switch pockets for my wallet and keys.


Well hopefully the POS has to eat his meals through a drinking straw.


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

X-Betaman said:


> Yep. except he only headbutted my hand one time. It took massive amounts of self control to walk away pretending my hand didn't hurt and not lay in the fetal position and cry like a little girl because the hand pain as crippling. Now I have to wera a big azz splint 6-8 weeks.It changes everything like I had to switch pockets for my wallet and keys.


I hope they gave you some good pain killers, if you can have them with all your other health issues.......ding darnit!

Agree with bandit, its hard to watch your spouse's indifference, also agree that she is too guilty to face you emotionally so she withdraws.....its what my husband does.

Hang in there. I hope you feel better soon.

Peace.


----------



## treyvion

X-Betaman said:


> Yep. except he only headbutted my hand one time. It took massive amounts of self control to walk away pretending my hand didn't hurt and not lay in the fetal position and cry like a little girl because the hand pain as crippling. Now I have to wera a big azz splint 6-8 weeks.It changes everything like I had to switch pockets for my wallet and keys.


Sorry to hear about your hand. Perhaps if you were trained, you could have gotten several effective strikes in and the fight ended without your hand being broken.


----------



## jim123

X,

It is not unusual to still be covered under your WW health insurance after the D. Check with an attorney.


----------



## bandit.45

treyvion said:


> Sorry to hear about your hand. Perhaps if you were trained, you could have gotten several effective strikes in and the fight ended without your hand being broken.


Or if you had the presence of mind to grab the tire iron out your car....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## larry.gray

bandit.45 said:


> Or if you had the presence of mind to grab the tire iron out your car....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ending up in jail for second degree murder doesn't sound like a good plan.


----------



## Trojan John

Palm strike.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bandit.45

larry.gray said:


> Ending up in jail for second degree murder doesn't sound like a good plan.


Just jokin.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jasel

Be careful what you text and email. That can come back to bite you in the ass hard in court. Divorce court or otherwise.


----------



## treyvion

bandit.45 said:


> Or if you had the presence of mind to grab the tire iron out your car....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


In a story I know. There was a fight between two men. One was the ex or soon to be ex. The wife and the soon to be ex where having serious issues, it got to the point of physical violence and painful tit for tats.

So the ex was not going to let the new man have the woman. He was a mechanic by nature, so in his instinct he grabbed the tire iron out of the car.

The new man was able to land several strikes in the slower but arching pattern of the tire iron.

And ended up beating him down to win the fight.

So that would scare me from picking up a tire iron.


----------



## bfree

*Re: Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for*



manticore said:


> bad example my friend, she cheated on Peter with Bill Clinton if I remember correctly


Yeah but so did Peter. Then again who wouldn't cheat with Bill Clinton?


----------



## X-B

treyvion said:


> Sorry to hear about your hand. Perhaps if you were trained, you could have gotten several effective strikes in and the fight ended without your hand being broken.


I have had training in the past. But raw emotions outweighed basic skills learned years ago. When your vision turnes red and you ears start ringing the smartest outcomes fail to happen. I advise people to calm down before they do something dumb like me.


----------



## Chaparral

This broght back a memory, did you also get tunnel vision?


----------



## Chaparral

Re bad choices. I am amazed at some of the things I have learned here. Certain professions being really bad as in educators, medical workers, law enforcement. Anyone who travels.

The worst professions can be googled.

Suprised to find that the fewest previous partners were an indicator of fidelity, the more partners before marriage the more likely they will cheat. I can't remember if this included men.

The more people a person deals with in their work life the more likely they are to cheat. This seems to be a matter of bad luck.

The worst is that (most credible estimate) about one out of three people end up cheating. I hate to remember this when being around a bunch of people and knowing 80% of cheaters get away with it.


----------



## Thor

Chaparral said:


> The worst is that (most credible estimate) about one out of three people end up cheating. I hate to remember this when being around a bunch of people and knowing 80% of cheaters get away with it.


If we extrapolate from those numbers, we could conclude that a third of the time it is just the wife who cheats in a marriage, a third of the time it is the husband, and a third of the time it is both. That would total about 45% of marriage have one or both partners cheating.

So as you hang out with a bunch of friends, about half of those marriages will experience cheating.


----------



## Chaparral

Thor said:


> If we extrapolate from those numbers, we could conclude that a third of the time it is just the wife who cheats in a marriage, a third of the time it is the husband, and a third of the time it is both. That would total about 45% of marriage have one or both partners cheating.
> 
> So as you hang out with a bunch of friends, about half of those marriages will experience cheating.


Since we're extrapolatin, 35% of marriages reconcile in the US, (50% in the UK). I also read, in the US, if the husband cheats, the likelihood of reconciliation is 45%. Does that mean if the wife cheats the reconciliation rate is only about 20%?


----------



## Thor

Chaparral said:


> Since we're extrapolatin, 35% of marriages reconcile in the US, (50% in the UK). I also read, in the US, if the husband cheats, the likelihood of reconciliation is 45%. Does that mean if the wife cheats the reconciliation rate is only about 20%?


I think, roughly, that is correct. I've read that wives are far more likely to stay with a WH, and far fewer husbands stay with WW.

I've also read that cheating wives file for divorce more often than cheating husbands file for divorce. Apparently women frequently think they are in love with their AP, whereas men typically are cheating for sex.


----------



## Ceegee

Thor said:


> I think, roughly, that is correct. I've read that wives are far more likely to stay with a WH, and far fewer husbands stay with WW.
> 
> I've also read that cheating wives file for divorce more often than cheating husbands file for divorce. Apparently women frequently think they are in love with their AP, whereas men typically are cheating for sex.


Perhaps social status has something to do with W's filing for divorce more than men.

I believe they feel tremendous guilt and try to make the BH into a monster. "He made me cheat". 

Then, they divorce to avoid the real issues. 

I know some women who have done this. That guilt stays with them forever.


----------



## treyvion

Thor said:


> If we extrapolate from those numbers, we could conclude that a third of the time it is just the wife who cheats in a marriage, a third of the time it is the husband, and a third of the time it is both. That would total about 45% of marriage have one or both partners cheating.
> 
> So as you hang out with a bunch of friends, about half of those marriages will experience cheating.


In some groups of people much more ( IE: most of them cheat ), and other groups much less (IE: these people are a bit stiffer with more integrity )


----------



## weightlifter

Some stirrings of the T word have circulated on Xbeta. I have been quietly working behind the scenes for over a month and on his behalf on some VARs and have an FB connection. So unless a troll is willing to make 20+ hours of VARs and a facebook that predates his time here. Xbeta is a very real person.


----------



## manticore

I think that most troll hunters believe this thread is real, but I think lately in TAM everyone is kind of paranoic, if I remember correctly there have been around 5 trolls just in this month, that is alot of emotional support wasted in twisted people.


----------



## clipclop2

But how many of the troll hunters reconcile with their FWW troll?


----------



## bfree

*Re: Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for*



clipclop2 said:


> But how many of the troll hunters reconcile with their FWW troll?


Only Shrek.


----------



## Nucking Futs

weightlifter said:


> Some stirrings of the T word have circulated on Xbeta. I have been quietly working behind the scenes for over a month and on his behalf on some VARs and have an FB connection. So unless a troll is willing to make 20+ hours of VARs and a facebook that predates his time here. Xbeta is a very real person.


Really? I get absolutely no troll vibe from this, just genuine anguish.


----------



## X-B

Chaparral said:


> This brought back a memory, did you also get tunnel vision?


Yes I think I did. I am not proud to say that is the only time I lost every ounce of self control. It was an out of body experience. It was not who I am. The sad part is I am at a point that I just don't care anymore.I just don't know anymore. last Saturday i spent 6 hours trying my best to make a special gourmet supper for the family. I even set the table with the good china. I very rare occasion. She told the kids 10-13.5 they could eat in their rooms if they want. She took her plate and watched TV. I quit. S orry for the rant. I hate being trapped so bad. I just want to cry.Most people do noy know why i am forced to be in this situation. I am beginning to think it is not worth it one bit. Damn it hurts.


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> Yes I think I did. I am not proud to say that is the only time I lost every ounce of self control. It was an out of body experience. It was not who I am. The sad part is I am at a point that I just don't care anymore.I just don't know anymore. last Saturday i spent 6 hours trying my best to make a special gourmet supper for the family. I even set the table with the good china. I very rare occasion. She told the kids 10-13.5 they could eat in their rooms if they want. She took her plate and watched TV. I quit. S orry for the rant. I hate being trapped so bad. I just want to cry.Most people do noy know why i am forced to be in this situation. I am beginning to think it is not worth it one bit. Damn it hurts.


Brother sorry.
You have to wait a little to d I remember for financial reasons.
Ef her focus on the kids.


----------



## syhoybenden

X-Betaman said:


> last Saturday i spent 6 hours trying my best to make a special gourmet supper for the family. I even set the table with the good china. I very rare occasion. She told the kids 10-13.5 they could eat in their rooms if they want. She took her plate and watched TV. I quit. S orry for the rant. I hate being trapped so bad. I just want to cry.


She just can't wait for you to be gone.

Make her be gone first.

She is not worth having. Scrape her off your shoe.


----------



## mineforever

X-Betaman - One day when and if you walk away you will know you gave it your best...she won't be able to say that. There is a lot to be said for knowing you gave it you all and you can walk away with clean conscious. Stay strong and take care of you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## weightlifter

Dude the rant is part of why we are here. Let it all out man. You got a bunch of bros and even a few sisters here!

If I ever get into the area well do lunch.


----------



## turnera

X-Betaman said:


> last Saturday i spent 6 hours trying my best to make a special gourmet supper for the family. I even set the table with the good china. I very rare occasion. She told the kids 10-13.5 they could eat in their rooms if they want.


Surely you stepped in and said, no, they can't. Right?


----------



## bandit.45

XBeta, stop including her in anything. Begin living a separate life. This woman is a cold monster and you are trying to be kind to her. Stop it! 

As another poster said: focus on you and the kids. 

Right now, you need to be taking care of yourself. Stop making nice dinners and including her. Take the kids out more and do things. Take a Friday or Saturday night out each week, get dressed up and just leave...leave and if she asks where you re going tell her "None of your business. Watch the kids..."


----------



## weightlifter

Agree. Your wife snubbed. Dont be too mad at your kids. She took advantage of their desire to be anywhere but where their parents are. Fake it to make it. Keep the bridges to your kids as best you can but stop using the bridge to her. Good effing grief.

Tell yourself you can use her as she is using you. I know its not the Christian thing and yet I profess I am one. yea I know Im a hypocrite. Its just when someone is willing attack me I am more than willing to let you think I turned the other cheek when in fact I am turning on destroy mode. I am a mirror. I have done crazy sh!t for friends. I am more than willing to walk the other side of the mirror for an enemy.

Heal, show the weak side or what she thinks is the weak side. When healed show the other side... Cheaterville is a nice start. Save your evidence OFF Site! google drive ROCKS.


----------



## X-B

turnera said:


> Surely you stepped in and said, no, they can't. Right?


 Didn't have too They stayed and sat with me. The dinner was more for them. After the world exploded into the event horizon of a black hole last year I stopped cooking a monthly feast. My daughter made a comment that she missed doing it I decided to do it for their benefit. Screw the witch if she skipped out. I always include the favorite foods of each one of us. I think one person noticed there was no stuffed crab on the table.


----------



## LostWifeCrushed

X-Betaman said:


> Didn't have too They stayed and sat with me. The dinner was more for them. After the world exploded into the event horizon of a black hole last year I stopped cooking a monthly feast. My daughter made a comment that she missed doing it I decided to do it for their benefit. Screw the witch if she skipped out. I always include the favorite foods of each one of us. I think one person noticed there was no stuffed crab on the table.


x-beta, my H does the same thing.I know how it feels.... I cook when DD comes over and we eat at the dining table while he takes his plate to the couch. Its a terrible feeling. 

But don't stop cooking and having meals with the kids... It just breaks my heart that your DD misses eating a family dinner.... that dad made a monthy feast? Your wife doesn't know how lucky she is.

I remember you saying that you had to stay married because of insurance reasons and your cancer treatments. In my state you can file a legal separation and the insurance does not change. People do it for several reasons but this is a big one.

I would seriously look into the family law information for your state. The stress of these kinds of interchanges, over simple daily family events, like DINNER (!) are toxins to healing the body. 

I am afraid the reasons you are staying (because you need the medical treatments to heal) may be being sabotaged by the callous behavior of your spouse (compromising the healing process by the constant release of stress hormones). They may be cancelling each other out, I don't know...it just doesn't seem like a good environment to be in in which to heal.

Even before, when she made your favorite roast for dinner, you felt terrible. Please look into a legal separation. Sorry if you have already researched this and decided against it.....but its worth looking into if you have yet to find out.

Please take care.


----------



## bandit.45

X-Betaman said:


> Didn't have too They stayed and sat with me. The dinner was more for them. After the world exploded into the event horizon of a black hole last year I stopped cooking a monthly feast. My daughter made a comment that she missed doing it I decided to do it for their benefit. Screw the witch if she skipped out. I always include the favorite foods of each one of us. I think one person noticed there was no stuffed crab on the table.


Your kids are awesome. Make sure you let them know it every day. 

As for the harpy, next time you cook, make her up a plate and just set it on the counter, while you and the kids eat at a properly set table. Let her go where she will.


----------



## Acabado

Do you kids know anything about your wife sexcapades? About why you had your fingers broken? The posibility of D?


----------



## MattMatt

X-Betaman said:


> Didn't have too They stayed and sat with me. The dinner was more for them. After the world exploded into the event horizon of a black hole last year I stopped cooking a monthly feast. My daughter made a comment that she missed doing it I decided to do it for their benefit. Screw the witch if she skipped out. I always include the favorite foods of each one of us. I think one person noticed there was no stuffed crab on the table.


Of course there was no stuffed crab on the table! Remember? You told us the stuffed crab was watching TV! Oh, wait! Sorry, my bad!:rofl:


----------



## weightlifter

MattMatt said:


> Of course there was no stuffed crab on the table! Remember? You told us the stuffed crab was watching TV! Oh, wait! Sorry, my bad!:rofl:


OH that is AWFUL. 

ALL those in favor of this as the post raise hand!

ME!


----------



## RoyR

X-Betaman said:


> I finally installed a recorder in wifes car. I got all I needed in one day plus something I wish I never heard. She said she was ashamed to me seen in public with her and she would walk several feet away Married 25 years next month.I am fhicially ill now. I have call and cancelled the rest of my chemo and radiation. I now officially don't care anymore. I am doneWhen she leaves I lose all heat insurance. and home.


When you make the decision to check out of life because what you see ahead right now looks so bleak, you are essentially saying " I CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE IN ITS ENTIRETY. I AM OMNIPOTENT. I KNOW WHAT LIFE HOLDS FOR ME FROM NOW ON..." 

No one has that power to be right and know what lies ahead. Therefore, your decision cannot be correct. Please reconsider...I was in the same boat many times 40 years ago, and I'm glad I didn't let go...I was young though, and perhaps that makes a difference.


----------



## X-B

Acabado said:


> Do you kids know anything about your wife sexcapades? About why you had your fingers broken? The posibility of D?


The kids know nothing. I told then I closed the car door on my fingers. To this day it bothers me I told them a fib about my hand. But now them having a normal life is the number one thing. To be honest they are the reason I am still here.


----------



## weightlifter

When you do your exposing. I might suggest a well thought out plan to not blindside them.

I tell you what when I heard they stuck around for your nice dinner I had good thoughts on them.

The stbx... NOT so much.


----------



## tom67

weightlifter said:


> When you do your exposing. I might suggest a well thought out plan to not blindside them.
> 
> I tell you what when I heard they stuck around for your nice dinner I had good thoughts on them.
> 
> The stbx... NOT so much.


WL speaks the truth.
Again take the power she HAD on you and take it back.
This is war.
You have the correct attitude.


----------



## tom67

Write something down for the kids so if well something happens they know the truth.


----------



## X-B

tom67 said:


> Write something down for the kids so if well something happens they know the truth.


I have seriously started of think of a way to make videos to be spread out over the years. Milestones,etc. I don't know where to start.


----------



## bfree

*Re: Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for*



X-Betaman said:


> I have seriously started of think of a way to make videos to be spread out over the years. Milestones,etc. I don't know where to start.


If you have a college near you ask a film student to help. They can get school credits and you have someone to help you through the process.


----------



## turnera

bfree said:


> If you have a college near you ask a film student to help. They can get school credits and you have someone to help you through the process.


Storycorps!
StoryCorps | Record Your Story


----------



## X-B

Sorry to drag up thread. But within last two weeks I had PET and CT scans done and tumor has gotten smaller from last round of treatments. Oncologist said it is operable now. The Dr. is going to schedule a thoracic lobectomy. Watching a video i found on YouTube scared the he!! out of me. But as I see it I have nothing to lose. it will probably be a few weeks.


----------



## manticore

wishing you the best of the lucks, I hope everything goes alright, and that you are here back soon to give us good news about your health.

rest and get well.


----------



## turnera

Excellent news! I work at a cancer hospital, and surgery outcomes are usually the best ones.


----------



## weightlifter

Good luck bro. I can hang here.

No way in hell I am watching that video.


----------



## illwill

turnera said:


> Storycorps!
> StoryCorps | Record Your Story


Im a filmmaker, and you can do this with your cell phone. Nothin complex needed.


----------



## brokeneric

I lost my faith in the Lord. But I'll still offer a prayer for you at church tomorrow dude. Stay strong.


----------



## MattMatt

X-Man, you never have to apologise for being here. It's like your clubhouse! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Thor

X, thanks for the update, and best of luck on the surgery.


----------



## alte Dame

I have been lurking & now would like to add to the heartfelt TAM vibes.

I wish you the best. You are a strong man.


----------



## just got it 55

X Go get it done say nothing to the STBX about it

That lets her know you don't give a sh!t about her.

Good luck I am sure you are in good hands

Courage

55


----------



## just got it 55

X how's that hand feeling ?

55


----------



## sidney2718

X: When are you having surgery? We need to know so we can keep the good vibes going!


----------



## X-B

Thanks 55 my hand is much better. 



sidney2718 said:


> X: When are you having surgery? We need to know so we can keep the good vibes going!


 Right now I am negotiating with my insurance company. I went and got a second opinion to see if there was a better way (easier on me than a what my doc called a open lobectomy) he thinks a surgery called VATS Video-assisted thoracoscopic surgery would have good results. That is what I want but it is out of network so I have to wait two or three weeks to find out. Things on the home-front are OK. She is trying to act like a good wife but it is way too late for that.
X


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> Thanks 55 my hand is much better.
> 
> 
> 
> Right now I am negotiating with my insurance company. I went and got a second opinion to see if there was a better way (easier on me than a what my doc called a open lobectomy) he thinks a surgery called VATS Video-assisted thoracoscopic surgery would have good results. That is what I want but it is out of network so I have to wait two or three weeks to find out. Things on the home-front are OK. She is trying to act like a good wife but it is way too late for that.
> X


X, do us all a favor and at least post a 'wassup' once a week or so. We care about you pal, and these lengthy siestas (with your current health the way it is and all) gets us all a bit unnerved.

Glad to hear you're okay.


----------



## tom67

3putt said:


> X, do us all a favor and at least post a 'wassup' once a week or so. We care about you pal, and these lengthy siestas (with your current health the way it is and all) gets us all a bit unnerved.
> 
> Glad to hear you're okay.


:iagree::iagree:


----------



## turnera

Remember that it's an insurance agent's job to save the COMPANY money. Not you. When I had my first car accident, I refused their assessment 4 times before I finally settled on their 5th offer: 150% HIGHER than the first one.


----------



## The Cro-Magnon

Trojan John said:


> Palm strike.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Can't believe someone posted this. Never underestimate the power of a palm heel to the head. When the girlfriend before my stbxw was cheating on me, and I haacked her email and knew when he would be at her apartment, I ended up fighting him, and I remember getting him down and palm heeling him in the head repeatedly, he ended up completely ko'd, and a puddle. Mr "Fcuk him, I will smash him if I see him" LOL It was one of my finest moments, it is like I reclaimed my self-esteem back from her cheating ways with that severe beat down.


----------



## convert

turnera said:


> Remember that it's an insurance agent's job to save the COMPANY money. Not you. When I had my first car accident, I refused their assessment 4 times before I finally settled on their 5th offer: 150% HIGHER than the first one.


Turnera, did you go through a lawyer?
many people go through a lawyer get a higher settlement but when you take there 45% off the top you end up with less then you could with a straight settlement through the insurance company.


----------



## turnera

No, not at all. I guess I got my numbers wrong. Actually, it was my husband who dealt with them. Great story, I bought a Honda Prelude the first year it came out, it cost $6000 (I know, I'm ancient). Had it for 6 years. Accident. Insurance offered $1000 to replace it. H said it would cost more than that to replace it (we had replacement value on our insurance, which I HIGHLY recommend); they offered $2000. He said no, it costs more. They offered $3000. He said he couldn't find one for that. They offered $4000, he said he still couldn't find one. Actually, he couldn't find one at all, as nobody was selling them, they were holding on to them! They finally said, fine, go FIND one and we'll pay you what they're selling it for. He found one a few hundred miles away in another city, and it was selling for $5900! So that's what we got. Used that money to buy a BMW (which was only $21,000 back then), lol.


----------



## bandit.45

X-Betaman said:


> Thanks 55 my hand is much better.
> 
> 
> 
> Right now I am negotiating with my insurance company. I went and got a second opinion to see if there was a better way (easier on me than a what my doc called a open lobectomy) *he thinks a surgery called VATS Video-assisted thoracoscopic surgery would have good results*. That is what I want but it is out of network so I have to wait two or three weeks to find out. Things on the home-front are OK. She is trying to act like a good wife but it is way too late for that.
> X


I had heart valve surgery back in November 2013 and this is what they did on me. Four small holes in my chest and they ran all the big stuff through my navel. I was back to work in a week and a half. The sh!t these doctors can do now is amazing.


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> I had heart valve surgery back in November 2013 and this is what they did on me. Four small holes in my chest and they ran all the big stuff through my navel. I was back to work in a week and a half. The sh!t these doctors can do now is amazing.


 That is good news. That is why I want to go this rout. I absolutely hate being in the hospital. They have worked with my insurance company before. The Dr's assistant told me it is just a lot of paperwork and haggling back and forth. I have not told a lot of people about it. I have not even told my mother because ever since my dad and little brother died several years ago she is worried about any little thing and she would go nuts. I had skin cancer on my arm a while back and she cried for two days. I have seen what happens when somebody in her family has a health crises and they would be here camping out at our houses for the foreseeable future. I don't think I could take the drama without hurting someones feelings. There would be little old ladies everywhere trying to cook,clean and things like that. I don't want them to think I am mean or anything but I just want some peace and quiet at this time. 
X


----------



## weightlifter

plus the standard method is brutal recovery.

Go for it and keep venting here. We are all your bros and sisters!


----------



## just got it 55

X-Betaman said:


> That is good news. That is why I want to go this rout. I absolutely hate being in the hospital. They have worked with my insurance company before. The Dr's assistant told me it is just a lot of paperwork and haggling back and forth. I have not told a lot of people about it. I have not even told my mother because ever since my dad and little brother died several years ago she is worried about any little thing and she would go nuts. I had skin cancer on my arm a while back and she cried for two days. I have seen what happens when somebody in her family has a health crises and they would be here camping out at our houses for the foreseeable future. I don't think I could take the drama without hurting someones feelings. There would be little old ladies everywhere trying to cook,clean and things like that. I don't want them to think I am mean or anything but I just want some peace and quiet at this time.
> X


I know it's not heart surgery but the heart counts in all surgery
X I have no doubt about the strength of your heart Brother

55


----------



## bandit.45

weightlifter said:


> plus the standard method is brutal recovery.
> 
> Go for it and keep venting here. We are all your bros and sisters!


It still hurt like a mutherfvcker but you are right.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> It still hurt like a mutherfvcker but you are right.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Great... You were supposed to say it was a piece of cake lol.


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> Great... You were supposed to say it was a piece of cake lol.


Partner, with what you've been through, this probably *will* be a piece of cake.


----------



## tom67

3putt said:


> Partner, with what you've been through, this probably *will* be a piece of cake.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:
Nothing more to say.


----------



## weightlifter

Look at it this way.

Choose between a beating with a broom stick vs a baseball bat. Both suck. One does suck LESS.

The standard one... yikes. 

PUSH ON BRO!


----------



## X-B

weightlifter said:


> Look at it this way.
> 
> Choose between a beating with a broom stick vs a baseball bat. Both suck. One does suck LESS.
> 
> The standard one... yikes.
> 
> PUSH ON BRO!


 You are right. It would suck a *LOT* less


----------



## bandit.45

X-Betaman said:


> Great... You were supposed to say it was a piece of cake lol.


Dude....you're going to have a chunk of your internals cut out. No way to make that painless.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> Dude....you're going to have a chunk of your internals cut out. No way to make that painless.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


All I would need is to be administered enough feel good meds so that I won't care.


----------



## bandit.45

Morphine. Blessed morphine.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

(UPDATE) Out of network Dr and VATS approved. If it goes well I will only stay three days in the hospital but because I am from out of town I will stay at a hotel close by for three or four more days. I feel happy and scared at the same time and that is a weird feeling.


----------



## manticore

good luck, I am sure that everything will be alright and you will be back at home with your kids in no time.

BTW: how is your hand?


----------



## just got it 55

X-Betaman said:


> (UPDATE) Out of network Dr and VATS approved. If it goes well I will only stay three days in the hospital but because I am from out of town I will stay at a hotel close by for three or four more days. I feel happy and scared at the same time and that is a weird feeling.


X you're are going to outlive that POS...STBXW

by 20 + years

Glad the Medical / INS issue worked out

55


----------



## bandit.45

X-Betaman said:


> (UPDATE) Out of network Dr and VATS approved. If it goes well I will only stay three days in the hospital but because I am from out of town I will stay at a hotel close by for three or four more days. I feel happy and scared at the same time and that is a weird feeling.


I'll be praying for you X. I'll pray that that tumor is centralized and not metasticized and that once they pull that lung that will be all she wrote for your cancer. 

This is what I hope for in your future 5 years down the road:

1) A victorious X-Betaman who conquered his cancer, and has gone back to work full time at a job he loves;

2) Has cast off his heartless shrew of a so-called ex-wife;

3) Has met and is engaged to a beautiful, accomplished, exotic woman, five years younger than his ex-wife, who adores him and bangs him into oblivion every night.


----------



## Syco

Wishing you well


----------



## treyvion

bandit.45 said:


> I'll be praying for you X. I'll pray that that tumor is centralized and not metasticized and that once they pull that lung that will be all she wrote for your cancer.
> 
> This is what I hope for in your future 5 years down the road:
> 
> 1) A victorious X-Betaman who conquered his cancer, and has gone back to work full time at a job he loves;
> 
> 2) Has cast off his heartless shrew of a so-called ex-wife;
> 
> 3) Has met and is engaged to a beautiful, accomplished, exotic woman, five years younger than his ex-wife, who adores him and bangs him into oblivion every night.


How could you ever look back?


----------



## Acabado

Positives vibes your way!


----------



## 3putt

Acabado said:


> Positives vibes your way!


Same here, X. Thanks for keeping us clued in.

Good thoughts and prayers to you.


----------



## weightlifter

Go xbeta go!


----------



## tom67

weightlifter said:


> Go xbeta go!


:smthumbup::smthumbup:


----------



## bandit.45

I hope he barred his wife from the hospital. 

If I were him I would have asked the nurses and security to make sure she didn't come anywhere near my hospital room. She doesn't deserve to be there.


----------



## manticore

still thinking about you, still wishing the best outcome and waiting a positive update.

take care man


----------



## X-B

This coming Tuesday is the day.


----------



## MattMatt

X-Betaman said:


> This coming Tuesday is the day.


I'll be thinking of you. We all will.:smthumbup:


----------



## just got it 55

X B we are all with you

Courage my Brother

55


----------



## sidney2718

X-Betaman said:


> This coming Tuesday is the day.


Good luck to you man!


----------



## 3putt

Thanks for letting us know, X. 

You will be in our prayers and thoughts!


----------



## adriana

X-Betaman said:


> This coming Tuesday is the day.



Good luck.... everything will be fine!


----------



## jim123

Good luck and talk to you when you are better.


----------



## weightlifter

Go Xbeta!
Hope homelife is at least more tolerable.


----------



## X-B

Decided to post here instead of making new thread. I have to keep it short but I made it to the other side for now. I feel like crap and the coughing exercises just suck. surgery went OK but had a big problem with blood pressure. I have had blood pressure problems for a while now 245/149 but it goes down after a few hours. Hope all is well with everybody.


----------



## WhiteRaven

Good to hear from you , Mr X.


----------



## X-B

I know this sounds off the wall but i almost got busted by my mother who is 71 years old. She knows nothing about my health problems. I keep it hidden from her because she would go bats#@t crazy. She has a problem of taking any stress. MY father died 9 years ago of a heart attack while out of town and my little brother committed suicide 4 years later when she was out of town. 
I am 50 years old but she is so worried about anything happening to me or my older brother. I do not want to seem callous and it bothers me to keep her in the dark but when my brother had to have a stent 3 years ago she flew in and stayed with him for 2 months. I love my mother with all my heart but I don't want her here for hovering over me for two months.


----------



## manticore

the important thing here man is that you refused to give up, Is good that you already had the cirgury, and be strong man


----------



## Acabado

Beyond the physical recovery... How are you man? How are things at home? The kids, the wife?


----------



## X-B

Acabado said:


> Beyond the physical recovery... How are you man? How are things at home? The kids, the wife?


Well the things at home are OK. I had reached a point that i really did not care anymore, to me that is power over the hopelessness I felt last year. My wife had started some counciling without my knowledge in Feb. these last few weeks she has tried to act like the good wife but deep down inside I still don't trust her motives. She has cried and said she was scared about the future and all that crap and he was a shoulder to cry on and he took advantage of the situation. I have a hard time believing what she says. I know for sure the person that cares the least has the most power. I almost pity her now but sometime in the future i am going to say bye bye. 
On another note the people who have the full open lobectomy you are my idol. I had the easy one and it still hurts like he!!. The mandatory coughing just sucks.


----------



## BashfulB

X-Betaman said:


> Well the things at home are OK. I had reached a point that i really did not care anymore, to me that is power over the hopelessness I felt last year. My wife had started some counciling without my knowledge in Feb. these last few weeks she has tried to act like the good wife but deep down inside I still don't trust her motives. *She has cried and said she was scared about the future and all that crap and he was a shoulder to cry on and he took advantage of the situation. *I have a hard time believing what she says. I know for sure the person that cares the least has the most power. I almost pity her now but sometime in the future i am going to say bye bye.
> On another note the people who have the full open lobectomy you are my idol. I had the easy one and it still hurts like he!!. The mandatory coughing just sucks.


They always say crap like that, as if it is a good excuse. Your wife is a coward, and you are one of my heroes. 

So is she still seeing the OM?


----------



## the guy

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## weightlifter

Full open lobe people sometimes suffocate due to being unwilling to breathe due to pain!

GO XB!
nuff said!


----------



## X-B

BashfulBull said:


> They always say crap like that, as if it is a good excuse. Your wife is a coward, and you are one of my heroes.
> 
> So is she still seeing the OM?


 The Om has been gone for a while now.


----------



## bandit.45

X I'm glad you are still here. Glad you are with us. We care about you man and we want you to stay around alot longer. 

My valve surgery hurt like a mother, and I still get pains once in a while if I overexert. But I got better each day and I feel great now... you will too. Just fight through it. 

Is your wife open to true R? Does it seem like she has come out of the fog and realizes what she almost lost? Was she with you at the hospital?


----------



## warlock07

I think hating your wife is not the best way to go about it these days. Probably hating her helped you move on in the initial days but I don't think it is now. 

Never knew your complete story. But from what I've read, I think she was a weak person more than evil. She couldn't deal with the your illness and reacted in the worst way possible. Atleast she seems to have a conscience these days


----------



## warlock07

Xbeta, sorry to dig up old memories but how long was she cheating before she got caught and did she finally confess to it ?


----------



## X-B

warlock07 said:


> Xbeta, sorry to dig up old memories but how long was she cheating before she got caught and did she finally confess to it ?


 I am not sure exactly how long it had went on. The extent of what she had done is up in the air. On a couple of the recordings I have listened to, she was talking to her sister and she told her sister she had fooled around with him but had not gone all the way. She said " that would be crossing the line" I don't know if weight lifter heard that part but I sent him some of the recordings. Thanks WL. Even if that is true just telling him personal things ripped me apart. How would anybody feel to learn that your young teenage daughter wanted a bellybutton ring was to listen to your wife tell another man about it before you heard anything about it. By the way the day after I heard that I casually asked my daughter about it and when she told me she didn't think I would allow it I took her and let her get one. Score for me in the cool dad department. 
To me the worst thing is when I need strong support she was not there for me. I could forgive a one night stand sexual encounter but the emotional part almost killed me. I mean I stopped all Dr. visits and test for 5 months wanting to die. 
As far as the POS OM goes he is gone. he is three states over. He was there as a contractor for a two year contract. After word of what was going on made it way upstairs he was transferred. I hate it for his wife because she was a nice lady (we had a long conversation) I heard the conversation where he told my wife I had contacted her. 
One thing to anyone that wants to bust the OM upside the head for vengeance it does not work out like you see on TV. I posted earlier about what happened but what I heard then from someone was false. I saw him one day and hit him. I was told he had eye socket fracture but he did not have one. I think she wanted me to think he was really hurt so I would leave him alone. physically I lost that one but to me I scored a mental win. 
Sorry for the short novel and ramble from one thing to another but morphine pills kind of make me out there. next thing on the list is to take care of blood pressure problem (pheochromocytoma). Hope everyone is doing OK


----------



## weightlifter

You are welcome XB.
I went thru alot of it but not all then stopped once you said you had done it all. Report sent on what I wrote out. The thing I remember most was them postulating back and forth if you were the source of the office gossip. That and she NEVER STOPS TALKING. EVER. HOLY EFFING!!!!!!
Hope I was useful for you.

BTW vent away. Your kids visited the hospital right?


----------



## X-B

Yes the Kids were at the hospital. She stayed there most of the time trying to be the good-wife now. I think it was funny about the office gossip. that was not me but I planted the seed. I had sent them a email they thought was from the city manager and another one with just a few details to the office gossip girl. I have the software to create email clients. I can send anyone a email and the return address can be anybody I want. If I sent him a email from his wife and he reply's to it, it will go straight to his wife. 
The thing that surprised me is I never heard a I love you. I am sure a lot of people here have had it worse. I wish I would have saved to first ones I had. Like I said before her not being there when I needed someone the most was a deal breaker. Thanks WL you were a big help.


----------



## illwill

X-Betaman said:


> Yes the Kids were at the hospital. She stayed there most of the time trying to be the good-wife now. I think it was funny about the office gossip. that was not me but I planted the seed. I had sent them a email they thought was from the city manager and another one with just a few details to the office gossip girl. I have the software to create email clients. I can send anyone a email and the return address can be anybody I want. If I sent him a email from his wife and he reply's to it, it will go straight to his wife.
> The thing that surprised me is I never heard a I love you. I am sure a lot of people here have had it worse. I wish I would have saved to first ones I had. Like I said before her not being there when I needed someone the most was a deal breaker. Thanks WL you were a big help.


You are a strong man.


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> Yes the Kids were at the hospital. She stayed there most of the time trying to be the good-wife now. I think it was funny about the office gossip. that was not me but I planted the seed. I had sent them a email they thought was from the city manager and another one with just a few details to the office gossip girl. I have the software to create email clients. I can send anyone a email and the return address can be anybody I want. If I sent him a email from his wife and he reply's to it, it will go straight to his wife.
> The thing that surprised me is I never heard a I love you. I am sure a lot of people here have had it worse. I wish I would have saved to first ones I had. Like I said before her not being there when I needed someone the most was a deal breaker. Thanks WL you were a big help.


X I posted this in another thread my car caught fire...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Xy0tRcml4U

It had 166,000 miles on it but more importantly no one was hurt and no property was damaged.
It's a fvcking piece of metal.
What you are/have been going through is way more important.
And you are a real father and man.
I have so much respect for you.


----------



## weightlifter

Tom- Miguel Areola?
what was it?
Were you able to get contents out of passenger compartment?

Mines on its way out too. Fortunately not on fire as I cant afford a replacement.

Anyway. Xbeta. Heal up man!


----------



## tom67

weightlifter said:


> Tom- Miguel Areola?
> what was it?
> Were you able to get contents out of passenger compartment?
> 
> Mines on its way out too. Fortunately not on fire as I cant afford a replacement.
> 
> Anyway. Xbeta. Heal up man!


A bunch of people were filming it with their phones have no idea who they are.
I figured someone would upload it.
It was a 99 regal 166,000 plus on it.


----------



## just got it 55

tom67 said:


> A bunch of people were filming it with their phones have no idea who they are.
> I figured someone would upload it.
> It was a 99 regal 166,000 plus on it.


Great car for a shark lawyer Tommy Have I seen you on TV

end t/j

How are you XB

55


----------



## tom67

just got it 55 said:


> Great car for a shark lawyer Tommy Have I seen you on TV
> 
> end t/j
> 
> How are you XB
> 
> 55


Not that I know of
Years ago I did a sports show with 2 other guys on public access.
My dad's buddy asked him why was I on tv?:rofl:


----------



## bfree

*Re: Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for*



tom67 said:


> Not that I know of
> Years ago I did a sports show with 2 other guys on public access.
> My dad's buddy asked him why was I on tv?:rofl:


Eddie Andleman wasn't one of the other two guys was he?


----------



## X-B

tom67 said:


> X I posted this in another thread my car caught fire...
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Xy0tRcml4U
> 
> It had 166,000 miles on it but more importantly no one was hurt and no property was damaged.
> It's a fvcking piece of metal.
> What you are/have been going through is way more important.
> And you are a real father and man.
> I have so much respect for you.


Ouch. car burning sucks. In school my piece of crap datsun burned in the school parking lot. The rest of the year I was called the blue flame. I paid 150 dollars for that car.
thanks for the support


----------



## warlock07

Blueflame -- that should be your handle on TAM. Sounds cool


----------



## X-B

warlock07 said:


> Blueflame -- that should be your handle on TAM. Sounds cool


Actually that is a great idea but the mods may not like to make name changes. They even had a mention about my car in the yearbook. it melted the paint on a preppy jerks new 1979 trans AM. many kids at school thought me loosing my car was worth it to see him cry. His dad repaired his car but I had to ride the bus for several weeks until I could afford another jalopy.


----------



## warlock07

How are you doing these days health-wise ?

Also your WW. Does she know you have the VAR recordings ?


----------



## bandit.45

Sounds like X is doing well enough that he no longer feels it necessary to talk about his WW anymore. He has come far with his detachment. Now he just needs to milk her insurance for every drop he can, and once he's well start the D.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

bandit.45 said:


> Sounds like X is doing well enough that he no longer feels it necessary to talk about his WW anymore. He has come far with his detachment. Now he just needs to milk her insurance for every drop he can, and once he's well start the D.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I like your thinking.


----------



## bandit.45

tom67 said:


> I like your thinking.


After the horrible way she treated him....for no damn good reason other than her own lust and selfishness?

Fvck her. She deserves to be used.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

warlock07 said:


> How are you doing these days health-wise ?
> 
> Also your WW. Does she know you have the VAR recordings ?


She knows about them.I made her a greatest hits cd and placed it in her car. The bimbo cried for a week. she claims that was not her.( she knows it was but she said it brought her to reality and it felt like a out of body experience.) personally I cant believe someone can be in the so called fog they cant tell reality from fantasy. 
as far as my health I am doing better. last year I was told I has stage 4 cancer. because of lung cancer and metastasis. The cancer was only in one lung and other tumors they saw on kidneys were benign tumors. They are the ones causing mu blood pressure problems. It is a rare tumor called a pheochromocytoma. In a few months they will take care of it. it is not malignant. it presses on my adrenal gland and makes my blood pressure spike. By this winter I should be a normal person and then my plan is BYE BYE.


----------



## bandit.45

I'm so jazzed for you bro. That's awesome news. 

Remember.... Kale and blueberries.....eat lots of it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

That is great news my man.


----------



## X-B

It still breaks my heart that things have come this far. as much as i am mad at what she has done we still have great kids. I do not want them to know anything. I am not mr. perfect. I have never had an affair but I came close to having an EA many years ago. Just some flirting that got started 15 years ago but I realized real quick it was wrong and stopped it in its tracks. it can sneak up on anybody. it is knowing what is happening and putting the breaks on before it crosses the line is the difference between right and wrong. Nobody is perfect.


----------



## bandit.45

She may not be perfect, but she had several chances to stop her affair. Months ago, when you were weak and on the verge of dying, I don't recall her being paticularly empathetic towards you. In fact she went about her affair probably hoping you would die and save her the hassle of a divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> She knows about them.I made her a greatest hits cd and placed it in her car. The bimbo cried for a week. she claims that was not her.( she knows it was but she said it brought her to reality and it felt like a out of body experience.)* personally I cant believe someone can be in the so called fog they cant tell reality from fantasy. *
> 
> Actually, that is indeed the fog. You could almost call it a fugue state. It just happens WAY too often to dismiss it's legitimacy. It's nothing more than a chemical high from your own body's drugs being released from puppy love attention. Probably more disastrous to marriages and families than any illegal drug out there.
> 
> 
> as far as my health I am doing better. last year I was told I has stage 4 cancer. because of lung cancer and metastasis. The cancer was only in one lung and other tumors they saw on kidneys were benign tumors. They are the ones causing mu blood pressure problems. It is a rare tumor called a pheochromocytoma. In a few months they will take care of it. it is not malignant. it presses on my adrenal gland and makes my blood pressure spike. By this winter I should be a normal person and then my plan is BYE BYE.


Very glad to hear the health update. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this has been for you under the circumstances, but you have handled it in ways most people couldn't even conceive of. The only words that come to mind are; Like A Boss!

Dinner and drinks on me if you get to the Myrtle Beach area.


----------



## warlock07

Hey, do you think it was a private venting moment that you captured on the VAR ? 

Did she actually wish you that you would die?


----------



## bandit.45

Just my conjecture.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Acabado

She wasn't "in a fog", friend. I mean the so called "affair fog".
Correct me if i'm wrong but if I recall well this affair wasn't a long one... yet the marriage started to deteriote over two years ago; what was pacefull suddenly become a battle, she was angry, moody, complaining all the time... Whethe her perception of the marriage and you were "accurate" or not is at this point irrelevant.
Sure, It's always possible she had a different affair back then but unless you can prove it I'd put it on the usual suspects: were the "normal" resentments accumulation of long term marriages, coupled maybe with external factors what caused the distance which was the fertile ground for the ultimate betrayal. At that point it seems your illness was in her mind just another source of misery (to be forced to take care of you on top of the "years of unhappiness") she "had to to scape" from.
If you ask me I believe it's a good sign she "doesn't recognize herself" in the woman she hears on the tape. The cruelty of that woman it's something she rejects and is ashamed of.


----------



## WhiteRaven

X-Betaman said:


> It still breaks my heart that things have come this far. as much as i am mad at what she has done we still have great kids.* I do not want them to know anything*. I am not mr. perfect. I have never had an affair but I came close to having an EA many years ago. Just some flirting that got started 15 years ago but I realized real quick it was wrong and stopped it in its tracks. it can sneak up on anybody. it is knowing what is happening and putting the breaks on before it crosses the line is the difference between right and wrong. Nobody is perfect.


They should know. Let them know someday the world is f*cked up. It won't protect them, but it would definitely prepare them.


----------



## X-B

warlock07 said:


> Hey, do you think it was a private venting moment that you captured on the VAR ?
> 
> Did she actually wish you that you would die?


I don't know if she was venting or not. I also believe now she didn't wish for me to die.I do know she was livid for a while because I didn't tell her when I first found out. I wanted to be sure before I said anything and she found out by reading the Blue cross statement on benefits paid and a bill for deductible. 
When I was first diagnosed they thought it was worse than it really was. At first they thought it was stage 4 because of multiple tumors I think he called it metastasis. But only one was a true cancer the other two are benign. They used chemo and some radiation to shrink the one in my lung and it was removed recently. My last scan came back clean:smthumbup: 
I know I am far from a perfect husband and these last few years I treated her like a wife and mother and not like a real lady. Still no excuse for what she did.It is still hard to believe someone so smart can do something so stupid. Her sister told me a while back that she called her late one night because she was thinking about suicide. she denied saying it when I asked her about it. She is acting like she used to now that she is getting help with her depression that she has denied having for a few years. 
She is also acting kind of weird just last week she mentioned it would be good for us to buy a fishing boat so I could take my son fishing. I am sorry that my post seem to jump around rambling but I just type out what pops into my head at the time. Thanks for listening.


----------



## warlock07

How would you describe the relationship between the two you these days? Or the nature of conversations ? 

Casual or very formal?


----------



## X-B

warlock07 said:


> How would you describe the relationship between the two you these days? Or the nature of conversations ?
> 
> Casual or very formal?


 I would say casual. I think she is trying but I feel it is to late. Since I have been off work she will take a long lunch break and come home and fix me a sandwich or whatever I want for lunch. I just don't feel the love like I used to. I am emotionally tired.


----------



## warlock07

Does she help you with health stuff?


----------



## X-B

warlock07 said:


> Does she help you with health stuff?


Yes. Almost too much. It makes me mad that when I wanted to try to salvage our marriage she didn't try. Now that she can see that I am done she decides to try.


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> Yes. Almost too much. It makes me mad that when I wanted to try to salvage our marriage she didn't try. Now that she can see that I am done she decides to try.


Hmm
Start going if you can don't tell her where.
Put a pw on your phone.
Let her start wondering and see what it feels like.


----------



## bandit.45

Do you see any chance at reconcilliation? I know you have fallen out of love with her for what she did, but is she remorseful enough for you and her to go to MC and see if you can restore what she destroyed? 

Believe me, I still think what she did was unpardonable, but now that her fog has cleared, do you think the love she once had for you has resurfaced? Does she tell you she loves you?


----------



## tdwal

X-Betaman said:


> She is also acting kind of weird just last week she mentioned it would be good for us to buy a fishing boat so I could take my son fishing.


That was the best thing I ever did for my son. I got a big fisherman buddy to take us out fishing. My buddy caught a 25 lbs Northern that day. My youngest son was hooked. I bought a boat and the fishing time was our time. He was 15 when I bought it, 27 now and we are still very close, still have the boat and still fish. In fact he just bought a new house with a three car garage, guess where my Ranger Bass boat is going, its his boat now. We look forward to a great fishing year this year.

PS: My son caught a 45 lbs Muskie a few years ago, really nice fish with 3/4 in teeth. He wouldn't pick it up out of the water, I gilled barehanded, wasn't losing that one. We released him after pictures. It was a 30+ year old fish.


----------



## weightlifter

I know a relatively recently divorced dude. UPS OTR driver. #1 in seniority at his hub. Makes 100K+. Not bad for HS education and from his emails, cant spell worth a damn...

Takes his sons to Great Slave Lake every year for fishing. Grown sons VERY close to dad because of it.

BTW if you find you want to consider R. Find out what "fooling around" specifically meant and the extent.


----------



## X-B

A small interesting update.Today I was going back over a couple later recordings (I know I need to stop) well anyway Weightlifter made have heard this part.(I sent him some recordings)She was saying to someone what she saw on my computer after I had to rush out of the room a while back(at the time chemo made for several bathroom emergencies) She saw a thread I was reading on TAM Best way to divorce my wife... by betrayed dad. 
I just thought that was interesting because around that time she started acting with more respect.


----------



## Chaparral

X-Betaman said:


> A small interesting update.Today I was going back over a couple later recordings (I know I need to stop) well anyway Weightlifter made have heard this part.(I sent him some recordings)She was saying to someone what she saw on my computer after I had to rush out of the room a while back(at the time chemo made for several bathroom emergencies) She saw a thread I was reading on TAM Best way to divorce my wife... by betrayed dad.
> I just thought that was interesting because around that time she started acting with more respect.


Did she know at the time you knew about her affair?


----------



## X-B

Chaparral said:


> Did she know at the time you knew about her affair?


Yes


----------



## bandit.45

When they see the D word, attitudes tend to change.


----------



## 3putt

bandit.45 said:


> When they see the D word, attitudes tend to change.


Yep. If she actually went back and read BD's thread and saw at what warp speed divorce can occur in the event of adultery, it probably made her poop her pants.

Wonder if she's figured out which thread is X's yet?


----------



## X-B

3putt said:


> Yep. If she actually went back and read BD's thread and saw at what warp speed divorce can occur in the event of adultery, it probably made her poop her pants.
> 
> Wonder if she's figured out which thread is X's yet?


I don't think she read anything else on here. I think she may have mentioned it. But then again I thought I was wrong before but I was mistaken


----------



## tom67

3putt said:


> Yep. If she actually went back and read BD's thread and saw at what warp speed divorce can occur in the event of adultery, it probably made her poop her pants.
> 
> Wonder if she's figured out which thread is X's yet?


I hear you but I think X is at or nearing the point of not giving a f^ck and thus showing the strength to move on making him more attractive.
Yes we all know a cheaters mind is warped.
X it's going to be YOUR timetable not hers.


----------



## 3putt

tom67 said:


> I hear you but I think X is at or nearing the point of not giving a f^ck and thus showing the strength to move on making him more attractive.
> Yes we all know a cheaters mind is warped.
> X it's going to be YOUR timetable not hers.


Oh, he's been at that point a long time. I'm just curious as to what's really going through her mind these days.


----------



## tom67

3putt said:


> Oh, he's been at that point a long time. I'm just curious as to what's really going through her mind these days.


:iagree:
God only knows
:crazy::absolut:


----------



## tom67

Let's see affair exposed-check.
OM is not leaving his wife-check
She figured out being a single mother of 2 who cheated not so good in the long run-check

X I am joking (sort of) I hope she hasn't purchased some life insurance policies on you and buttering you up.
If the soup tastes sweet it could be the anti freeze special.


----------



## X-B

tom67 said:


> Let's see affair exposed-check.
> OM is not leaving his wife-check
> She figured out being a single mother of 2 who cheated not so good in the long run-check
> 
> X I am joking (sort of) I hope she hasn't purchased some life insurance policies on you and buttering you up.
> If the soup tastes sweet it could be the anti freeze special.


 Maybe that's why I didn't freeze this winter On the upside I got me a 84 inch finish mower to help cut mowing time from 6 to 3 hours:smthumbup:


----------



## bandit.45

What brand of mower?

I'm partial to Hondas.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> What brand of mower?
> 
> I'm partial to Hondas.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It is a Bush Hog RDTH84 brand. It is just the three point mower. Lots of grass to cut. 
The most unusual thing the wicked wife of the east has done in volunteer to mow this year. I told her I don't need her help but after getting my shoulders badly sunburned last week I may rethink that. 
This is part of what I have to mow. I need to tell her if she is truly sorry she needs to mow it with a push mower.


----------



## bandit.45

Is it a self contained bush hog or do you have a small tractor? 

She must be wanting to pay penance mowing that yard with a push mower.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> Is it a self contained bush hog or do you have a small tractor?
> 
> She must be wanting to pay penance mowing that yard with a push mower.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She didn't say the push mower part. That was the idea that just came to me. Tractor is a JD-4105


----------



## bandit.45

X-Betaman said:


> She didn't say the push mower part. That was the idea that just came to me. Tractor is a JD-4105


Nice. Bush hogs are fun. They do make short work of mowing. 

How are you feeling X? Still in any pain?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> Nice. Bush hogs are fun. They do make short work of mowing.
> 
> How are you feeling X? Still in any pain?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am beginning to feel pretty good. Still some soreness but a little better everyday.


----------



## bandit.45

Are you taking breathing therapy? If you are that has to hurt. Will what is left of your lung/s expand and compensate for the lobe that hey removed? Sorry I'm asking so many questions but it's kind of interesting.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

Once they removed the tube it was a real load off. I still have the good meds but I am taking much less now. About 2 more weeks and I should be off them. I am also driving now and I don't feel helpless and stuck at home. I went for a 5 hour car ride last Friday. My daughter's team made state and they finished 2nd.


----------



## weightlifter

Glad you are recovering!


----------



## manticore

X-Betaman said:


> Yes. Almost too much. It makes me mad that when I wanted to try to salvage our marriage she didn't try. Now that she can see that I am done she decides to try.


It does not matter, take adventage of it, use her as much as you need to get in your prime again, to be strong again, if she offers to buy you things or to help you with your diets, medicaments or prodecedures, let her, encourage her, regain your health and then leave her, and take half her retirement money.

I still remember your first post, I felt even as limited as it could be being in the other side of the screen your desesperation, frustration the pain of the realization of being betrayed and mocked by the woman you loved when you needed her the most. So what?, now that her POSOM was beaten and show his true colors as the coward and POS he is and dump her as garbage and now that her husband is getting healthier and beating the cancer and will become as good as before it, now she wants her husband back? now she regrets her mocks and insults towards you in your past state?, now she even dreams in the family reconnecting and buying a fishing boat? really? as easy as that? 

Take everything that she is offering (care, meals, money, companionship, encouragement, sex) and regain your past self and find someone worth to spend the rest of your life.


----------



## Chaparral

Did she ever find out you knew what she said about you?


----------



## carpenoctem

manticore said:


> It does not matter, take adventage of it, use her as much as you need to get in your prime again, to be strong again, if she offers to buy you things or to help you with your diets, medicaments or prodecedures, let her, encourage her, regain your health and then leave her, and take half her retirement money.
> 
> I still remember your first post, I felt even as limited as it could be being in the other side of the screen your desesperation, frustration the pain of the realization of being betrayed and mocked by the woman you loved when you needed her the most. So what?, now that her POSOM was beaten and show his true colors as the coward and POS he is and dump her as garbage and now that her husband is getting healthier and beating the cancer and will become as good as before it, now she wants her husband back? now she regrets her mocks and insults towards you in your past state?, now she even dreams in the family reconnecting and buying a fishing boat? really? as easy as that?
> 
> Take everything that she is offering (care, meals, money, companionship, encouragement, sex) and regain your past self and find someone worth to spend the rest of your life.



*In sum, view her as the OM did (through the eyes of the user), and treat her as he did too (use and discard)?

Some payback, THAT.*


This whole infidelity business addles our brains and implodes our values so much. Alas.

No one comes out undiminished.


----------



## manticore

[B]carpenoctem[/B] said:


> *In sum, view her as the OM did (through the eyes of the user), and treat her as he did too (use and discard)?
> 
> Some payback, THAT.*
> 
> 
> This whole infidelity business addles our brains and implodes our values so much. Alas.


don't come to me with your self righteous aptitude. For what I see here this is your first post in this thread and you probably just read my last post and made your stupid sententiousness conclusion.

so what you suggest?, for him to openly and confrontational to tell her the truth that he wants nothing to do with her anymore because she betrayed him in his real moment of need during the marriage so she can begin the divorce process with the upper hand now that he is still battling his condition, and he to risk to loss the health care that he needs right now (because is in her insurance) and she to leave before she gets the retirement money, and now that is coming out of cirgury to begin a stresseful divorce battle process?

if you want to keep your self righteous honorable aptitude, do it, I will keep supporting user as "betrayeddad" (who used the fog of his WW to get custody of the kids and the house) or "missthelove2013" (who got free of the debt totally created by her WW buying addiction), but I guess you probably would have taken the honorable path and shared custody with a woman who is sleeping with 20 something at her 40's or shared the debt that you did not created (before thay even got married and that he didn't even know it existed until he was married).

good for you, you are admirable.


----------



## carpenoctem

manticore said:


> don't come to me with your self righteous aptitude. For what I see here this is your first post in this thread and you probably just read my last post and made your stupid sententiousness conclusion.
> 
> so what you suggest?, for him to openly and confrontational to tell her the truth that he wants nothing to do with her anymore because she betrayed him in his real moment of need during the marriage so she can begin the divorce process with the upper hand now that he is still battling his condition, and he to risk to loss the health care that he needs right now (because is in her insurance) and she to leave before she gets the retirement money, and now that is coming out of cirgury to begin a stresseful divorce battle process?
> 
> if you want to keep your self righteous honorable aptitude, do it, I will keep supporting user as "betrayeddad" (who used the fog of his WW to get custody of the kids and the house) or "missthelove2013" (who got free of the debt totally created by her WW buying addiction), but I guess you probably would have taken the honorable path and shared custody with a woman who is sleeping with 20 something at her 40's or shared the debt that you did not created (before thay even got married and that he didn't even know it existed until he was married).
> 
> good for you, you are admirable.



*Manticore:*

I am sorry, but you read me wrong, and got riled.

I was in fact marveling at the twist of destiny - that it has come full circle, and *he gets a chance to drive her Karma bus if he wants, HIMSELF* (if he follows the methodology you mentioned - *take what she gives as her own penitence, and then, do what is right for him - go his way).*

I was marveling at* the twist in your envisioned PoA - that he can now, in real terms, demonstrate to her what the OM did to her (*though that was with her collusion) *- use her.* And *when HE (the BS) does that, she will see it clearly for what it is* (if he tells her that the OM was using her - she might still give the OM the benefit of the doubt, and whatever vestiges of the affair fog that remains will diminish that realization even further. Plus, conceding that she allowed herself to be cheaply used will be hard for her). 

But* when / if it is demonstrated by the BS in real terms - *THAT is some payback.

In fact, I was wondering whether thinking 'just desserts, I guess' was too unkind / uncivilized?




I was also lamenting the fact - how the repercussions of infidelity makes even otherwise good people think / DO all these.

(When I said: "This whole infidelity business addles our brains and implodes our values so much. Alas",* it was meant as a collective self-lament about what infidelity does to people of average goodness / badness,* Manticore. It was not a comment about / on you. *Trust me.* I would almost NEVER be as presumptuous as that).



You read my post totally antithetically, and got riled. I was trying to sound ironical. Perhaps I didn't phrase it well.
And I repeat, undermining the pain and anger of any BS was not in the agenda.


As for calling me stupid, etc., Manticore, let me point out that *stupidity is an inevitable human condition. Wisdom, is the fluke.* If I have been stupid on this occasion, please accept that as my human folly.


I don't think I have read those threads you mentioned, (betrayeddad?, missthelove2013), Manticore. I will try to.


----------



## weightlifter

X-Betaman said:


> Maybe that's why I didn't freeze this winter On the upside I got me a 84 inch finish mower to help cut mowing time from 6 to 3 hours:smthumbup:


Add an 84 inch smart TV.


----------



## X-B

Chaparral said:


> Did she ever find out you knew what she said about you?


 yes. I told her about that a while ago. At first she denied saying that but I saw the color drain from her face and I never mentioned it again. I talked to the shrink I was seeing then and he told me he had seen people act like this before. He said some people can't handle the idea of losing someone and they start to subconsciously detach to protect themselves. I didn't buy it because it sounds absurd. I think some shrinks will say anything to make someone feel better.


----------



## LostViking

Affair fog makes waywards speak and act in the most hateful, spiteful manner. Your WW probably doesn't even remember everything she said.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Acabado

X-Betaman said:


> I talked to the shrink I was seeing then and he told me he had seen people act like this before. He said some people can't handle the idea of losing someone and they start to subconsciously detach to protect themselves. I didn't buy it because it sounds absurd. I think some shrinks will say anything to make someone feel better.


Truth is I've seen this happening several times. Even to the point of complete resentment and disgust towards the betrayed (they feel somehow betrayed too!)... only she was complaining about OP and the marriage for at least two years before the illness and before OM entered in the picture.
I wouldn't discard the idea entirely anyway, it can be another layer in this multifaceted nightmare... if I was actually interested in undestarding it. Of course.


----------



## X-B

I never believed what they said. When the councilor mentioned that I knew then he was just trying to make it sound better so everybody would play nice and live happily ever after.
I think if she would have been as apologetic and sorrowful as she tries to sound now the first week when I found out, I would have just rug swept everything. The first week was so bad I would have done anything to put the genie back in the bottle. It took a little while to go from a broken hearted marshmallow to just plain pi$$ed.


----------



## bandit.45

X-Betaman said:


> I never believed what they said. When the councilor mentioned that I knew then he was just trying to make it sound better so everybody would play nice and live happily ever after.
> I think if she would have been as apologetic and sorrowful as she tries to sound now the first week when I found out, I would have just rug swept everything. The first week was so bad I would have done anything to put the genie back in the bottle. It took a little while to go from a broken hearted marshmallow to just plain pi$$ed.


You were never a marshmallow. You just got blindsided by an adulterous wife. 

So do you think some of the sorrow she has been showing lately is real remorse, or is she just feeling guilty for what she did and doing what she can to keep the father of her kids around?


----------



## Acabado

I "know", well just believe, it's a dealbreaker for X-Betaman becasue he never posted anything about her wife state of mind, just the awful facts. I get it, he wasn't exactly in a potition to deal with anything more than his other issues. But even now that "things" looks like improving he sounds disinterested in what the hell is going in her head, whether there's remorse, guilt, shame, fear... whatever.
He claims she's behaving, caring... that's all.
If he were thinking about a potential R i thinks he would be more concerned about her mind and heart, her plans...
He just don't care anymore.


----------



## X-B

I think she is truly regretting what she has done but nothing is ever 100% guaranteed. it may just be my thinking but she was different from any other people I knew. By the time she was 13 she had lived in 7 different countries. her dad was an Air Force officer. Right after her dad retired and moved to my town a friend of mine was dating her older sister. I saw her sometimes but she was almost 4 years younger than me. her sister had told me she had a crush on me and I shrugged it off for about 4 years. After she graduated from high school she called me up and asked me out. I had just broke up with my long term (2 years) girl friend. we went out and a few months later became a couple. One year later we were married. She was great and put up with a lot because I had a child with my ols G/F. everything seemed great for the next 23.5 years. when the trust was broken it was shattered. I told her I can't think about doing a full R anytime soon. I am still too mad and hurt to make any decisions. i told her i was going to work on me fixing myself for a while. She said she was patient but I still don't have faith.
I have just had too much happen the last year and a half to trust making a decision.


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> I think she is truly regretting what she has done but nothing is ever 100% guaranteed. it may just be my thinking but she was different from any other people I knew. By the time she was 13 she had lived in 7 different countries. her dad was an Air Force officer. Right after her dad retired and moved to my town a friend of mine was dating her older sister. I saw her sometimes but she was almost 4 years younger than me. her sister had told me she had a crush on me and I shrugged it off for about 4 years. After she graduated from high school she called me up and asked me out. I had just broke up with my long term (2 years) girl friend. we went out and a few months later became a couple. One year later we were married. She was great and put up with a lot because I had a child with my ols G/F. everything seemed great for the next 23.5 years. when the trust was broken it was shattered. I told her I can't think about doing a full R anytime soon. I am still too mad and hurt to make any decisions. i told her i was going to work on me fixing myself for a while. She said she was patient but I still don't have faith.
> I have just had too much happen the last year and a half to trust making a decision.


Hey
She is on your timetable if she doesn't like it there is the door.
Did you expose to her family I can't remember.


----------



## illwill

X-Betaman said:


> I think she is truly regretting what she has done but nothing is ever 100% guaranteed. it may just be my thinking but she was different from any other people I knew. By the time she was 13 she had lived in 7 different countries. her dad was an Air Force officer. Right after her dad retired and moved to my town a friend of mine was dating her older sister. I saw her sometimes but she was almost 4 years younger than me. her sister had told me she had a crush on me and I shrugged it off for about 4 years. After she graduated from high school she called me up and asked me out. I had just broke up with my long term (2 years) girl friend. we went out and a few months later became a couple. One year later we were married. She was great and put up with a lot because I had a child with my ols G/F. everything seemed great for the next 23.5 years. when the trust was broken it was shattered. I told her I can't think about doing a full R anytime soon. I am still too mad and hurt to make any decisions. i told her i was going to work on me fixing myself for a while. She said she was patient but I still don't have faith.
> I have just had too much happen the last year and a half to trust making a decision.


indecisions is a decision. And as you know, time 
is the world most precious treasure. 

GET OUT OF LIMBO.

And based on her cruel words and actions, it should be pretty clear what to do here.

You are very strong. Youll be fine.


----------



## X-B

One of the sticking points that keeps me from leaving now besides insurance is retirement. I have checked on health ins. on the market place and now they have to take pre existing conditions but the coverage is astronomical compared to almost free right now. The other is retirement. I have already talked to a lawyer a few times to make sure I do it right. She has a real pension plan where she works and it will be almost two more years before she is fully vested. My state is a no fault and a 50/50 split on everything including retirement. If I can wait it would be over 700 a month more on my half. The bad thing is I can't draw until she retires. I know it may sound greedy but 700 a month is a house payment. I know she really did me wrong but stringing her along for that long just for money. It may also be difficult to hold my anger for that long and fold like a wimp lol.


----------



## Nucking Futs

X-Betaman said:


> One of the sticking points that keeps me from leaving now besides insurance is retirement. I have checked on health ins. on the market place and now they have to take pre existing conditions but the coverage is astronomical compared to almost free right now. The other is retirement. I have already talked to a lawyer a few times to make sure I do it right. She has a real pension plan where she works and it will be almost two more years before she is fully vested. My state is a no fault and a 50/50 split on everything including retirement. If I can wait it would be over 700 a month more on my half. The bad thing is I can't draw until she retires. I know it may sound greedy but 700 a month is a house payment. I know she really did me wrong but stringing her along for that long just for money. *It may also be difficult to hold my anger for that long and fold like a wimp lol.*


Let me be blunt here. That last sentence is one of the dumbest things I've read on TAM, and I read most of SteveK's stuff!

You know what you'll be if you manage to hold onto your anger that long? Bitter. A bitter man with no friends, because no one wants to hang around a bitter person. You need to let go of your anger at some point before it poisons you and your relationships.

If your wife is doing the things that you see us say over and over that a WS needs to do to save the marriage, why are you so determined to hold onto your anger and take this all the way to divorce? Yes, she hurt you badly. At one point it appeared she wanted you dead, although I'm not so sure she had anything to do with the insurance snafu at the doctors office. That happens so often without malice that unless you have evidence of her involvement I'd forget about that.

No one but you can determine if you can get over what she's done. The decision to divorce is going to be there to be made in 2 years. Why don't you just relax and see what happens. You loved her once, and it appears you may be afraid you'll fall in love with her again. Would that be so bad?


----------



## X-B

Nucking Futs said:


> Let me be blunt here. That last sentence is one of the dumbest things I've read on TAM, and I read most of SteveK's stuff!
> 
> You know what you'll be if you manage to hold onto your anger that long? Bitter. A bitter man with no friends, because no one wants to hang around a bitter person. You need to let go of your anger at some point before it poisons you and your relationships.
> 
> If your wife is doing the things that you see us say over and over that a WS needs to do to save the marriage, why are you so determined to hold onto your anger and take this all the way to divorce? Yes, she hurt you badly. At one point it appeared she wanted you dead, although I'm not so sure she had anything to do with the insurance snafu at the doctors office. That happens so often without malice that unless you have evidence of her involvement I'd forget about that.
> 
> No one but you can determine if you can get over what she's done. The decision to divorce is going to be there to be made in 2 years. Why don't you just relax and see what happens. You loved her once, and it appears you may be afraid you'll fall in love with her again. Would that be so bad?


 Maybe anger was the wrong word. maybe it should be indifferent. In reality I just don't feel anything.. I see your point. there is no way to stay that angry that long without having a mental breakdown. If she would have shown the remorse she shows now at the beginning it would be different.
At first I was too scared to tell her to pack-up and get out because I was afraid she would do it. One Friday I left work early and pack a bunch of her stuff in black garbage bags and placed them in her side of the garage. I picked the kids up from school and took them bowling, Mcdonalds and then a movie. Kept the phone off the whole time. When we got home she was unpacked and in a totally different mindset. At this time I am not sure if I love her anymore. I just want to protect my future so I won't go through this crap ever again.


----------



## bandit.45

Has she done anything other than just act sorry to show you she is wanting to explore her reasons for cheating and giving up on the marriage? Has she attended any kind of counseling? Has she gone to family and friends and taken responsibility for her bad behavior?


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> Has she done anything other than just act sorry to show you she is wanting to explore her reasons for cheating and giving up on the marriage? Has she attended any kind of counseling? Has she gone to family and friends and taken responsibility for her bad behavior?


 She started going to counseling on her own. She had been going a few weeks before I found out. Her older sister told her father and he was upset. He told her Buck Up and deal with it. her mother didn't say much. She never does because of being married to a military officer for almost 50 years. 
She did start initiating sex a lot before surgery. I did turn her down at first but I broke down pretty darn quick. it is still not the same. I did get a little jab in on her at the pre-surgery consult. The Dr. said no sex for 6-8 weeks after surgery and I looked at him and said what about her. He just froze a few seconds then laughed it off. 
It all boils down to I am not sure if I love her anymore and want to protect my future mentally and financially.


----------



## GusPolinski

X-Betaman said:


> I did get a little jab in on her at the pre-surgery consult. The Dr. said no sex for 6-8 weeks after surgery and I looked at him and said what about her. He just froze a few seconds then laughed it off.


:lol:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## bandit.45

You know if infidelity is a deal breaker then it just is. I agree that her cruel treatment of you was her showing her true self, and that could kill any mans urge to forgive and rugsweep. No one is going to think less of you if you decide to divorce her. 

From everything you posted, it sounds to me like she checked out on you long ago. Maybe getting used and dumped by the OM , then almost losing you to cancer knocked some reality into her. Or maybe she's play-acting now to get sympathy? I really don't understand why she is now wanting or acting like she wants to save the marriage. Why would she ? Doesn't follow given her prior attitude. Have you asked her why the change of heart?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3putt

X-Betaman said:


> *I did get a little jab in on her at the pre-surgery consult. The Dr. said no sex for 6-8 weeks after surgery and I looked at him and said what about her. He just froze a few seconds then laughed it off. *


I just spit my drink.

LOL


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> You know if infidelity is a deal breaker then it just is. I agree that her cruel treatment of you was her showing her true self, and that could kill any mans urge to forgive and rugsweep. No one is going to think less of you if you decide to divorce her.
> 
> From everything you posted, it sounds to me like she checked out on you long ago. Maybe getting used and dumped by the OM , then almost losing you to cancer knocked some reality into her. Or maybe she's play-acting now to get sympathy? I really don't understand why she is now wanting or acting like she wants to save the marriage. Why would she ? Doesn't follow given her prior attitude. Have you asked her why the change of heart?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I guess what i was trying to say is if money and insurance was not a issue I would have already filed. If I file today in my state we would spit her pension up until divorce witch is 50% of 23 years. when it hits 25 years it grows a great deal. Two more years would be almost 10,000 a year more just waiting 2 more years just for me. I don't have a great 401k. I had put money with hers because she has a government pension that will pay for life. I know i am being greedy but if I can make it that long my financial future will be much better. She has no idea this is what I am thinking.


----------



## bandit.45

X-Betaman said:


> I guess what i was trying to say is if money and insurance was not a issue I would have already filed. If I file today in my state we would spit her pension up until divorce witch is 50% of 23 years. when it hits 25 years it grows a great deal. Two more years would be almost 10,000 a year more just waiting 2 more years just for me. I don't have a great 401k. I had put money with hers because she has a government pension that will pay for life. I know i am being greedy but if I can make it that long my financial future will be much better. She has no idea this is what I am thinking.


No I get this and I have no problem with that plan. After the way she sh!t on you she deserves to lose you and part of her pension. I've got no problem whatsoever with that philosophy. 

I just don't understand her change of heart. How do you fall out of love with your husband, betray him in the worst possible way , go so far as to openly mock him and taunt him....only to do a complete turnaround and now want to save the marriage? I don't get her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> No I get this and I have no problem with that plan. After the way she sh!t on you she deserves to lose you and part of her pension. I've got no problem whatsoever with that philosophy.
> 
> I just don't understand her change of heart. How do you fall out of love with your husband, betray him in the worst possible way , go so far as to openly mock him and taunt him....only to do a complete turnaround and now want to save the marriage? I don't get her.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I don't think even climbing the worlds tallest mountain and talking to the 300 year old wise monk or what ever he is will have that answer. I know I don't. The councilor that I was -am seeing said it is like a rule book they read and he has seen it time and time again, men and women. it is like their brains find a way to demonize their spouse so they have less guilt. Those words hurt more than the affair. That is the thing I don't know how to forgive. I have wondered if it is pent up resentment from the stress of putting up with my selfishness and what i said a few years ago when I broke my back and wad almost bedridden for 5 months. I was not a good patient. It was sort of her fault. We were cleaning the gutters and she bumped the ladder. L2 to S1 are now fused. But why would she wait 5 years to implode about that. maybe I should have made a time line about everything.


----------



## bandit.45

Well, you may have been a d!ck during your recuperation from back surgery, and all the pain and stress can cause a person to say mean things. It is not right, but it is understandable. 

But any poor behavior in your part during that time pales in comparison to her betrayal and wanton desire to openly humiliate you. There is no excuse in the world for that kind of behavior.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> Well, you may have been a d!ck during your recuperation from back surgery, and all the pain and stress can cause a person to say mean things. It is not right, but it is understandable.
> 
> But any poor behavior in your part during that time pales in comparison to her betrayal and wanton desire to openly humiliate you. There is no excuse in the world for that kind of behavior.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know there is no excuse for what BS she has done. I don't think I could ever forgive her for that. I guess what I have been trying to say is I need to find the strength or a way to cope with being around her for a while longer until I can get the outcome that is best for me and my kids. When it is all over I will come out on top. I don't like to play dirty as I call it. It is not who I am but I will do it to secure the best future for my kids. If I didn't have these two issues I would have already filed and been gone. I have already paid a lawyer 600$ so far for legal advice. he will give me credit for that later when I file. I do not plan on backing out one bit. We get along good when it is about kids and regular things. I just don't like her on a personal level. If I can keep things as they are now I will be just fine for a year or two. I have a buddy that will keep me straight.


----------



## bfree

*Re: Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for*



bandit.45 said:


> No I get this and I have no problem with that plan. After the way she sh!t on you she deserves to lose you and part of her pension. I've got no problem whatsoever with that philosophy.
> 
> I just don't understand her change of heart. How do you fall out of love with your husband, betray him in the worst possible way , go so far as to openly mock him and taunt him....only to do a complete turnaround and now want to save the marriage? I don't get her.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I think I get it...a little. In the beginning XB was afraid of losing her and the relationship. He was in begging mode. She looked at him and thought he was pathetic. It's what lots of cheaters see in the beginning when their betrayed spouses are in shock. In the back of her mind she probably also figured he might die so she was detaching at the same time. Now she sees that XB is going to be around for a while yet and he is now completely detached from her. It might have woken her up and she had an "oh sh!t" moment. That's all I can think of anyway.


----------



## turnera

Personally, I'd stay and just start having your own life.


----------



## bandit.45

You could do a modified 180. Follow the steps for personal growth, health, mental well-being and emotional detachment, but go easy on treating her like furniture. 

Whatever you do, do not let on about your plans. And I recommend you start saving up some money.... as much as you can... a fallback stash in a secret account... in case things turn ugly and you need it.


----------



## Nucking Futs

bandit.45 said:


> You could do a modified 180. Follow the steps for personal growth, health, mental well-being and emotional detachment, but go easy on treating her like furniture.
> 
> Whatever you do, do not let on about your plans. And I recommend you start saving up some money.... as much as you can... a fallback stash in a secret account... in case things turn ugly and you need it.


I agree with this. Do the 180 but not to the extent that she files first before you meet the vest date. Also, don't ever mention this to anyone that might let it slip to her, if she figures out why you haven't divorced yet she'll likely file first to keep you from getting it.


----------



## GusPolinski

*cough* Have thread moved to Private Members' Section!


----------



## weightlifter

And never check the stay logged in thing. She found the recordings because you forgot....


----------



## X-B

weightlifter said:


> And never check the stay logged in thing. She found the recordings because you forgot....


 Computer goes to sleep after 2 min idle and requires password to wake up. Pain in the butt sometimes when reading long page.


----------



## illwill

Nucking Futs said:


> Let me be blunt here. That last sentence is one of the dumbest things I've read on TAM, and I read most of SteveK's stuff!
> 
> You know what you'll be if you manage to hold onto your anger that long? Bitter. A bitter man with no friends, because no oAne wants to hang around a bitter person. You need to let go of your anger at some point before it poisons you and your relationships.
> 
> If your wife is doing the things that you see us say over and over that a WS needs to do to save the marriage, why are you so determined to hold onto your anger and take this all the way to divorce? Yes, she hurt you badly. At one point it appeared she wanted you dead, although I'm not so sure she had anything to do with the insurance snafu at the doctors office. That happens so often without malice that unless you have evidence of her involvement I'd forget about that.
> 
> No one but you can determine if you can get over what she's done. The decision to divorce is going to be there to be made in 2 years. Why don't you just relax and see what happens. You loved her once, and it appears you may be afraid you'll fall in love with her again. Would that be so bad?


Are you serious with this wreckless post? Who cares if she is sorry? The way she treated him is beyond cruel. Never take her back. Ever.

Some on here believe cheaters deserve the benefit of doubt. They were given that on their wedding day. 

This woman was ashamed to be seen with you in public and wished for your death.

Remember that?

I understand while you are waiting. It makes sense. Just detach. FOREVER.

Look at the storm you have been through. Most wives would have been their husbands anchor. 

You deserve better. Ignore anyone on this forum who tells you otherwise.

Stay healthy.
Will


----------



## Hopeful Cynic

X-Betaman said:


> yes. I told her about that a while ago. At first she denied saying that but I saw the color drain from her face and I never mentioned it again. I talked to the shrink I was seeing then and he told me he had seen people act like this before. He said some people can't handle the idea of losing someone and they start to subconsciously detach to protect themselves. I didn't buy it because it sounds absurd. I think some shrinks will say anything to make someone feel better.


Something I learned from my snooping phase was that much like they lie to you during the affair, to protect your ignorance, they also lie to the affair partner, to maintain the affair.

If insulting you to their affair partner is necessary to convince the other person that it's a crappy marriage and they should feel sympathy, that's what a cheater will do.

My ex would say all kinds of things about how horrible the evening had been, how I yelled and screamed, and how I was so mean and played my music too loud, etc etc, when really it had been just the awkward silence of us being in different rooms.

Cheaters feed everybody lies.


----------



## manticore

illwill said:


> You deserve better. Ignore anyone on this forum who tells you otherwise.
> 
> Stay healthy.
> Will


Is incredible that I am actually agreeing with illwill, but yes you definitly deserve better.


----------



## illwill

Hopeful Cynic said:


> Something I learned from my snooping phase was that much like they lie to you during the affair, to protect your ignorance, they also lie to the affair partner, to maintain the affair.
> 
> If insulting you to their affair partner is necessary to convince the other person that it's a crappy marriage and they should feel sympathy, that's what a cheater will do.
> 
> My ex would say all kinds of things about how horrible the evening had been, how I yelled and screamed, and how I was so mean and played my music too loud, etc etc, when really it had been just the awkward silence of us being in different rooms.
> 
> Cheaters feed everybody lies.


They feed you lies, and show you the truth of who they are. Like alcohol the fog allows you to do what you always to.


----------



## bfree

*Re: Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for*



illwill said:


> They feed you lies, and show you the truth of who they are. Like alcohol the fog allows you to do what you always to.


Alcohol is a drug. So is dopamine, the drug associated with "the fog." So illwill, you are very correct. But just like you don't excuse an alcoholic for getting behind the wheel and killing someone you cannot excuse a cheater because of "the fog." There were a lot of boundaries to cross before that point was reached. Each of us has a dark side and alcohol/drugs very often lowers our inhibitions so that dark side can manifest and assert itself. You do learn a lot about someone when that happens and usually it's a painful lesson for everyone concerned.


----------



## LongWalk

I understand you don't feel entirely comfortable hiding your plan to end your marriage. How do you imagine that you will answer her when she asks you when you decided?

What you will you say if she asks if she ever had a chance?

I gather you don't talk about her affair. Does she feel that she should but lacks the courage and is procrastinating?

Do you ever feel unexpected impulses of kindness or warmth towards her? How do you deal with them?

Rooting for your full recovery.


----------



## X-B

LongWalk said:


> I understand you don't feel entirely comfortable hiding your plan to end your marriage. How do you imagine that you will answer her when she asks you when you decided?
> 
> What you will you say if she asks if she ever had a chance?
> 
> I have thought of that and I have no idea what I will say.
> 
> I gather you don't talk about her affair. Does she feel that she should but lacks the courage and is procrastinating?
> 
> I don't ask anymore questions now because I know enough. I do not want to know every detail. But I have been writing down questions that I will ask her about why she said some of the things she said.
> 
> Do you ever feel unexpected impulses of kindness or warmth towards her? How do you deal with them?
> 
> There have been a couple of times where she will say or do something that will make me laugh and I thought how beautiful she is when she smiles like that and then I will get a electrical jolt reminding me what she did. That is why sometimes I just want to pull the trigger and file but if I do I have a lot to lose.
> 
> Rooting for your full recovery.


----------



## illwill

Print out the first page of this thread. And keep it next to your bed or in your wallet.

Do you guys share the bedroom?


----------



## walkedon22

My heart feels your pain. First of all, I hope you have not confronted her yet. If you have not, fight the urge to let her know that you know. You need the time to get your things in order. Do not stop your treatment! One thing is for sure: if she is that low of a person, she won't care one way or the other about you or your treatment, and will more than likely be glad you stop treatment. I know you dont feel like it right now, but no one is worth allowing yourself to stop caring about yourself. I know thats easier said than lived, but its true.

Please use your time here on the forum and connect with others who truly know how you feel, and let others help you to get through the worst of times. You need to find ways to relieve your high stress. One way to do that is to just stop worrying about her. That sounds easy, and its not. It will be the hardest thing you ever have to do. Our natural responses are to worry and to want to do what we can to make them love us. I will wait and see if you reply to this, but believe me when I say that i too know this kind of pain.


----------



## Forest

X-Betaman said:


> It is a Bush Hog RDTH84 brand. It is just the three point mower. Lots of grass to cut.
> The most unusual thing the wicked wife of the east has done in volunteer to mow this year. I told her I don't need her help but after getting my shoulders badly sunburned last week I may rethink that.
> This is part of what I have to mow. I need to tell her if she is truly sorry she needs to mow it with a push mower.


Oh my word. You mow that?

Buy yourself the cheapest, old livestock trailer you can find. In April buy yourself about 3 calves. Sell them in when the grass starts dying. You'll make a couple grand, and won't have to mow.


----------



## Chaparral

Its a little late to be asking this, but how did your wife react to you punching the om in the face? Did that coincide with her change in attitude?


----------



## X-B

Chaparral said:


> Its a little late to be asking this, but how did your wife react to you punching the om in the face? Did that coincide with her change in attitude?


 She was unsettled and said she was not worth it. I told her she was not worth it but my pride was. her attitude did change after that. She didn't realize how serious the whole thing was. DUH How can somebody so intelligent be so dumb.


----------



## illwill

Easy. She is not really intelligent. Or maybe the blood in her head rushed to her hips when she got horny.


----------



## X-B

Just a health update. I posted it here instead of starting new thread. I had my checkup the other day and the Dr. said ALL CLEAR. It is hard to believe the difference a year makes. Last year I was told I had stage 4 cancer because of lung cancer spot and two other tumors in my abdomen. It took a while to find out everything because at the same time I found out my wife was cheating. I quit going to DR. because of my depression and anger. After I started going back and had all biopsied I found out Ihad Squamous cell carcinoma cancer in my lung but the other two were benign Hamartomas. What a difference a year makes. Last year I thought I was going to die and I didn't care but now I have a different outlook.


----------



## bandit.45

Glad you lived brother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 3putt

Awesome, AWESOME news X. Couldn't be happier for you. About time you got a break in life with what you've been through.

As an aside, I saw what you posted to someone else on another thread earlier today, and I have to disagree with your conclusions about yourself and your decisions.

You did what you felt you had to do, and did it in spite of fighting cancer and other obstacles you faced (and they were all unreal to say the very least). That's a man in my book.

I know I can speak for a lot of guys here on this; you have my utmost respect.

Take care and don't be a stranger. This place needs guys like you to help others.


----------



## tom67

Xman how are things on the home front?
And I second 3putt chime in every now and then.


----------



## Forest

Wow. Way to inject some perspective around here. Good deal, boy. Hope you are getting a new kick out of it.


----------



## MattMatt

Great news about your health.


----------



## X-B

Forest said:


> Wow. Way to inject some perspective around here. Good deal, boy. Hope you are getting a new kid out of it.


No more kids around here. A couple of more years and I am out of here.


----------



## tom67

X-Betaman said:


> No more kids around here. A couple of more years and I am out of here.


Things change X but I agree with your plan with her retirement and so forth.
One day at a time bro I support you with whatever you do.


----------



## Forest

X-Betaman said:


> No more kids around here. A couple of more years and I am out of here.


Well, I fixed it now, meant to typed "kick". Gotta proof read more.


----------



## mablenc

:woohoo:

That's great!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bandit.45

How do the kids feel towards their mom and the affair?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

Forest said:


> Well, I fixed it now, meant to typed "kick". Gotta proof read more.


kick
Frank Sinatra - "I Get A Kick Out Of You" (Concert Collection) - YouTube


----------



## convert

X-betaman

great news.

did you ever get full disclosure of her affair any details?
I know it may not matter at this point and I don't mean to open wounds but just wondering how bad it was

does she want to make it work/stay with you?


----------



## just got it 55

X-Betaman said:


> Just a health update. I posted it here instead of starting new thread. I had my checkup the other day and the Dr. said ALL CLEAR. It is hard to believe the difference a year makes. Last year I was told I had stage 4 cancer because of lung cancer spot and two other tumors in my abdomen. It took a while to find out everything because at the same time I found out my wife was cheating. I quit going to DR. because of my depression and anger. After I started going back and had all biopsied I found out Ihad Squamous cell carcinoma cancer in my lung but the other two were benign Hamartomas. What a difference a year makes. Last year I thought I was going to die and I didn't care but now I have a different outlook.


X I am so hopeful for your future
Now..... Go about the business of living

Good Luck .Please keep in touch we have lost alot of great posters here don't be one of them.

55


----------



## Nucking Futs

X-Betaman said:


> No more kids around here. A couple of more years and I am out of here.


You may have to give her some crumbs of affection to keep her from losing hope and filing herself before the 2 years is up.


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> How do the kids feel towards their mom and the affair?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*The kids know nothing and wont know as they are young.*


convert said:


> X-betaman
> 
> great news.
> 
> did you ever get full disclosure of her affair any details?
> I know it may not matter at this point and I don't mean to open wounds but just wondering how bad it was
> 
> does she want to make it work/stay with you?


I don't think I will ever know everything nor do I want to. As far as they went who knows. In one of the recordings she was talking to her sister about it Evil cheating sister) and she said they hadn't had sex because the OM didn't want to cross that line with his wife. He was OK with what the he!! they had going on. But she was ready to go when he was. That is enough for me. I really think I could recover from a one night stand better than hearing her dis me and the emotional connection they had. Ask weight lifter he heard a few. They would just talk on and on about everything not much dirty talk. Hearing her put me down was the reason I lost any respect for her. She thinks we are going to be Ok she even put a deposit on a cruise next Febuary


----------



## WhiteRaven

Know what, ditch the b*tch.


----------



## bandit.45

WhiteRaven said:


> Know what, ditch the b*tch.


He will. After two years and she is vested in her retirement. Then he's going to D and go for half her future retirement.


----------



## WhiteRaven

bandit.45 said:


> He will. After two years and she is vested in her retirement. Then he's going to D and go for half her future retirement.


D is always painful. It should be damn well worth it.


----------



## Nucking Futs

WhiteRaven said:


> Know what, ditch the b*tch.


But not until the pension is vested.


----------



## bandit.45

WhiteRaven said:


> D is always painful. It should be damn well worth it.


Oh...

"There will be blood" for the mean way she treated him.


----------



## bandit.45

I heartily endorse cold revenge....especially when it happens years down the road and the revengee has no idea it's coming. :lol:


----------



## X-B

WhiteRaven said:


> D is always painful. It should be damn well worth it.


It is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done.


----------



## FormerSelf

X-Betaman said:


> Hearing her put me down was the reason I lost any respect for her.


Going through the communications my wife had with OM, she never talked about me. I think if she dissed me to OM, I probably wouldn't be able to get over that either.

Man that's awesome about being in the clear!!! I get my bone biopsy results next Friday...so I hop I get the all clear message too!


----------



## X-B

FormerSelf said:


> Going through the communications my wife had with OM, she never talked about me. I think if she dissed me to OM, I probably wouldn't be able to get over that either.
> 
> Man that's awesome about being in the clear!!! I get my bone biopsy results next Friday...so I hop I get the all clear message too!


I hope you have great news next week.


----------



## WhiteRaven

bandit.45 said:


> Oh...
> 
> "There will be blood" for the mean way she treated him.


And one day there will be 'Payback'

:smthumbup:


----------



## weightlifter

Baisc context of Xbetas wife VARs.

George Thorogood & The Destroyers You Talk Too Much - YouTube

Imagine Rain Man in a room FULL of shiny objects then add a trillion boring ones on top of that.


----------



## X-B

weightlifter said:


> Baisc context of Xbetas wife VARs.
> 
> George Thorogood & The Destroyers You Talk Too Much - YouTube
> 
> Imagine Rain Man in a room FULL of shiny objects then add a trillion boring ones on top of that.


You know WL if tha OM was having to listen to all that yakety yak saved me from having to hear it, the OM may have been doing me a favor.


----------



## treyvion

X-Betaman said:


> You know WL if tha OM was having to listen to all that yakety yak saved me from having to hear it, the OM may have been doing me a favor.


Wait so the OM was also receptive to a bunch of nonsense talking that you didn't have to deal with? He might have enjoyed the energy like a gossippy person.


----------



## bandit.45

X, when confronted did your WW try to explain away all the nasty things she said?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## treyvion

bandit.45 said:


> X, when confronted did your WW try to explain away all the nasty things she said?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It doesn't matter. Alot of the cheaters have a dual snakehead which the BS never see's and this second snake head might even literally HATE the BS.


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> X, when confronted did your WW try to explain away all the nasty things she said?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She tried to but she just sounded stupid. " I thought I may have been losing you and I had to distance myself away" I said *BS * I don't think anybody can think like that. I thing she wanted to demonize me to OM so he would take the next step. She also said they were really good friends that went a little too far. She is nuts:scratchhead:


----------



## tdwal

X-Betaman said:


> She tried to but she just sounded stupid. " I thought I may have been losing you and I had to distance myself away" I said *BS * I don't think anybody can think like that. I thing she wanted to demonize me to OM so he would take the next step. She also said they were really good friends that went a little too far. She is nuts:scratchhead:


I think your right about demonizing you to get him to act.


----------



## manticore

X-Betaman said:


> She tried to but she just sounded stupid. " I thought I may have been losing you and I had to distance myself away" I said *BS * I don't think anybody can think like that. I thing she wanted to demonize me to OM so he would take the next step. She also said they were really good friends that went a little too far. She is nuts:scratchhead:


did you ever tell her what OMW told you abut him having other affairs in the past?.

as side note what I found weird is that he was supposed to be the serial cheater but for what I have get Reading your thread, it looks like your wife was the agressor in this situation.


----------



## X-B

manticore said:


> did you ever tell her what OMW told you abut him having other affairs in the past?.
> 
> as side note what I found weird is that he was supposed to be the serial cheater but for what I have get Reading your thread, it looks like your wife was the agressor in this situation.


I just think he was nervous about them working in the same office. She was the aggressor. I think it was his good looks. He has the Harrison ford look. I remember her saying all the ladies there were swooning over him. I am just an average dude. I can't compete with that. I am not gay by any means but you could tell he could probably get any woman he wanted. I guess it would be like me working with Heather Loclear a few years ago.


----------



## Plan 9 from OS

X-Betaman said:


> I just think he was nervous about them working in the same office. She was the aggressor. I think it was his good looks. He has the Harrison ford look. I remember her saying all the ladies there were swooning over him. I am just an average dude. I can't compete with that. I am not gay by any means but *you could tell he could probably get any woman he wanted. *I guess it would be like me working with Heather Loclear a few years ago.


Emphatically disagree with the part in bold. Getting any woman he wanted implies any married woman as well as single. While there is no doubt a married woman would cheat on a spouse to sleep with him, there are plenty of other married women who take their vows seriously. 

One thing to keep in mind about TAM. It's a microcosm that doesn't accurately reflect real life. The majority of the people who come here have serious issues with marriages on the rocks, infidelity, sexless marriages, etc. There are a small number of us who came here simply to dialogue with others in order to strengthen what is already a solid marriage. There are many other couples who have solid marriages too, it's just that we tend to not see that if we focus just on what we see on TAM. 

Maybe you're speaking in relation to your personal experiences and what you see IRL as well as TAM. I wanted to to post caution to others to not let TAM skew your world view.


----------



## manticore

I tried two times to respond, but in 2 ocassions when I was about to end the whole post it got delated, but I will try again in the afternoon.


----------



## WhiteRaven

X-Betaman said:


> I just think he was nervous about them working in the same office. She was the aggressor. I think it was his good looks. He has the Harrison ford look. I remember her saying all the ladies there were swooning over him.* I am just an average dude*. I can't compete with that. I am not gay by any means but you could tell he could probably get any woman he wanted. I guess it would be like me working with Heather Loclear a few years ago.


X, as far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter that OM is the most good looking guy in the world. You are truly outclassed only if he is bulletproof.


----------



## warlock07

X-Betaman said:


> She tried to but she just sounded stupid. " I thought I may have been losing you and I had to distance myself away"


Actually I believe it(not saying she is telling you the truth but that there is atleast the possibility she is telling you the truth). People deal with grief in different ways. I tried to imply it in my older posts.

She is definitely wrong. I don't deny that. But if her affair started after your diagnosis, there might be some truth to it. Some just cannot deal with illness or death and can react in the most f*cked up ways possible, even to their own family. I do not have enough expertise or knowledge in this topic to give you a proper answer though. 

You can ask a professional though. Though it might not take the pain away, the explanation might give you some closure on her actions.


----------



## illwill

If her first thought was of herself, when she heard about your illness, she was never really going to support you anyway.

Most spouses would NEVER react this way. It speaks volumes about her soul.


----------



## bfree

*Re: Re: Voice Recorders Carefull what you wish for*



illwill said:


> If her first thought was of herself, when she heard about your illness, she was never really going to support you anyway.
> 
> Most spouses would NEVER react this way. It speaks volumes about her soul.


Absolutely!


----------



## bandit.45

Hey X, are you still around man? How are you doing?


----------



## X-B

bandit.45 said:


> Hey X, are you still around man? How are you doing?


I am still hanging around here some. I am doing alright and staying busy with projects and work. health wise things are great except for having my last wisdom tooth pulled last week


----------



## bandit.45

I have to get a root canal next week. I feel your pain. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bandit.45

We're just glad you are still around period.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## tom67

bandit.45 said:


> We're just glad you are still around period.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


YES!!!:smthumbup:
God when I was 22 I had Four embedded wisdom teeth removed the oral surgeon told me to count to 10 I think I made it to 4.


----------



## warlock07

bandit.45 said:


> I have to get a root canal next week. I feel your pain.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not yet


----------



## weightlifter

Drive by hello to XB!


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## Suspecting2014

How r u doing?


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## X-B

I am doing OK these days. I had a friend give me some of his air miles and I took a vacation just by myself. I went to Chicago to visit a friend I grew up with and stayed a couple of nights at the hotel Burnham. After that I Did something I had always wanted to do and went to the Sequoia Forrest and rented a small RV for 3 days. I wish I had a lot more time to stay there. health wise I am still doing good too:smthumbup: I am still planning on leaving her in the future because I don't think I can ever have the trust again. Without trust you have nothing.


----------



## Suspecting2014

I am glad you are fine, I presume healthy as well.

I was wondering how your relation with your wife is these days, and if your were on some kind of R.

I would like to ask why hasn't she filed for D? Does she know you are planning divorce her in the future?


----------



## tom67

X-B said:


> I am doing OK these days. I had a friend give me some of his air miles and I took a vacation just by myself. I went to Chicago to visit a friend I grew up with and stayed a couple of nights at the hotel Burnham. After that I Did something I had always wanted to do and went to the Sequoia Forrest and rented a small RV for 3 days. I wish I had a lot more time to stay there. health wise I am still doing good too:smthumbup: I am still planning on leaving her in the future because I don't think I can ever have the trust again. Without trust you have nothing.


Cool that hotel is like 3 blocks from where I work nice restaurant also.


----------



## tom67

Suspecting2014 said:


> I am glad you are fine, I presume healthy as well.
> 
> I was wondering how your relation with your wife is these days, and if your were on some kind of R.
> 
> I would like to ask why hasn't she filed for D? Does she know you are planning divorce her in the future?


Sounds like he is putting on a good show for her until she has to give him half of her retirement from what I remember.


----------



## Suspecting2014

tom67 said:


> Suspecting2014 said:
> 
> 
> 
> I am glad you are fine, I presume healthy as well.
> 
> I was wondering how your relation with your wife is these days, and if your were on some kind of R.
> 
> I would like to ask why hasn't she filed for D? Does she know you are planning divorce her in the future?
> 
> 
> 
> Sounds like he is putting on a good show for her until she has to give him half of her retirement from what I remember.
Click to expand...

Yes, I feel the e way, the thing I am curious is what is in her Head.


----------



## X-B

Suspecting2014 said:


> I am glad you are fine, I presume healthy as well.
> 
> I was wondering how your relation with your wife is these days, and if your were on some kind of R.
> 
> I would like to ask why hasn't she filed for D? Does she know you are planning divorce her in the future?


 She never filed because she does not want a divorce and she didn't think I was serious when I mentioned it to her last year.


----------



## weightlifter

Name number three?
Prechristmas hi!


----------



## X-B

weightlifter said:


> Name number three?
> Prechristmas hi!


Third time is charm. How have you been.


----------



## tom67

X-B said:


> Third time is charm. How have you been.


No how have you been I hope doing well.
Don't worry Weightlifter is Klingon.


----------



## tom67

Next time you come up here I might be able to get some Hawks tickets.
Oh they won tonight.:smthumbup:


----------



## X-B

tom67 said:


> Next time you come up here I might be able to get some Hawks tickets.
> Oh they won tonight.:smthumbup:


That would be fun. I didn't eat at the Burnham restaurant. The prices were too much for me but I had the best steak dinner at a place called Ronny's original Chicago steakhouse. It was almost under the L-train. It was a 22 oz. rib-eye with 2 baked potatoes with a 1/2 pound of bacon on them. I almost had to be rolled out of there.


----------



## tom67

X-B said:


> That would be fun. I didn't eat at the Burnham restaurant. The prices were too much for me but I had the best steak dinner at a place called Ronny's original Chicago steakhouse. It was almost under the L-train. It was a 22 oz. rib-eye with 2 baked potatoes with a 1/2 pound of bacon on them. I almost had to be rolled out of there.


I'm at lake and lasalle.
Ugh you should have gone to Lawry's the prime rib off ontario.
It is expensive but not too bad if you don't buy booz.


----------



## jim123

tom67 said:


> I'm at lake and lasalle.
> Ugh you should have gone to Lawry's the prime rib off ontario.
> It is expensive but not too bad if you don't buy booz.


They are a lot of places better than Ronnie's. But XB enjoyed so all is well.

What else did you do in Chicago. We have a fun town here with plenty to do.

I think the Burnham is on Washington and State.


----------



## the guy

I miss that city.....in the summer!

Go Hawks.


----------



## manticore

Hi X-B how are you doing these days?


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## Archangel2

X-B: Hope you are doing well


----------



## WorkingWife

X-B said:


> ...She said she was ashamed to me seen in public with her and she would walk several feet away....


Please understand that this is not about you, this is about her. 

I don't know what her reason is, but you mention chemo and radiation so I am guessing it may have something to do with your appearance due to those treatments, or your appearance due to the illness that requires those treatments?

She's "ashamed" to be seen in public with you? Think about it. That does not even make _*sense*_.

What kind of shallow, narcissistic, cold, pathetic person is "ashamed" to be seen in public with any other person... for any reason, really? Seriously? She's worried about what strangers think of the way the person with her looks?

Imagine if you had a physically deformed child, relative, or friend? Would you be "ashamed" to be seen in public with them? Of course not. It's easy for me to scoff because it's not happening to me, but trust me, from the outside looking in? It is *ridiculous* - only *SHE *is the sad butt of the joke, not you.

Take this outside your marriage and imagine someone you know saying that about their spouse or relative. What would you think of *them*? I would think "WTF is wrong with them?"

Do all you can to get well. Do not let this woman take anything more from you. God bless you.


----------



## MattMatt

Maybe she was ashamed to be with her husband in public because she knew that she was a cheater POS, cheating on her sick husband?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## G.J.

No one should hear the things you heard..infidelity is heart breaking but with that on top......


----------



## WorkingWife

MattMatt said:


> Maybe she was ashamed to be with her husband in public because she knew that she was a cheater POS, cheating on her sick husband?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's a very good point.


----------



## X-B

Well time for a long overdue update. I am doing OK now. Health-wise I am still doing good too. I have had a few bumps in the road but nothing I couldn't handle. The OM is long gone. His wife divorced him and he moved back home halfway across the country to live with his ailing father. Things at home are OK too. I am still biding my time but every once in a while I feel a crack in my armor.
I also took up a old hobby and restored a car I had always wanted and have already placed 2nd in a car show. 
I am not sure how I could have made it this far without this place.


----------



## tom67

X-B said:


> Well time for a long overdue update. I am doing OK now. Health-wise I am still doing good too. I have had a few bumps in the road but nothing I couldn't handle. The OM is long gone. His wife divorced him and he moved back home halfway across the country to live with his ailing father. Things at home are OK too. I am still biding my time but every once in a while I feel a crack in my armor.
> I also took up a old hobby and restored a car I had always wanted and have already placed 2nd in a car show.
> I am not sure how I could have made it this far without this place.


Thanks for the update. :smthumbup:


----------



## G.J.

Great to hear X-B


----------



## 3putt

So glad to hear about this, especially your health. Been thinking about you a lot lately.

So, how has your WW been acting lately? 

And more importantly.....

What kind of car did you restore?


----------



## bandit.45

Keep the car. Ditch the skank.


----------



## MattMatt

bandit.45 said:


> Keep the car. Ditch the skank.


If only he could restore his wife just like he did the car! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## X-B

3putt said:


> So glad to hear about this, especially your health. Been thinking about you a lot lately.
> 
> So, how has your WW been acting lately?
> 
> And more importantly.....
> 
> What kind of car did you restore?


!986 Grand national I upgraded it to 719 HP on the DYNO EDITm it is also a V6


----------



## 3putt

X-B said:


> !986 Grand national I upgraded it to 719 HP on the DYNO


Whoa!! That's some serious American muscle juice there!

X, you gotta get us some pics of that. I'll bet that is one sweet ride.


----------



## CantBelieveThis

X-B said:


> !986 Grand national I upgraded it to 719 HP on the DYNO


I have respect for those, when I had my 89 Mustang 5.0 I was only beat by two others, a grand national and a Porsche.... The GN spanked me bad, all I remember was hearing his turbos as he flew past me like if I was standing still!!! Smoked just about everything else, it was supercharged with 2 stage 250 nos kit, ran low 11's with street tires and was my daily driver with AC and all... The good old days, how I met my wife was during street races, who would know then she would cheat on me and cause me the biggest grief ever!!! Glad to hear about you. 

Sent from my SM-T700 using Tapatalk


----------



## bandit.45

X-B said:


> !986 Grand national I upgraded it to 719 HP on the DYNO


Does it still have the intercooler and turbo? I've heard it's hard to find parts for those these days. 

Man, I remember I was in Phoenix once and I went by a Buick dealership...must have been around '87, and they were selling the last of their Grand Nationals. 

$13,000.00.


Yeah. You read correctly.


----------



## adriana

X-B said:


> Well time for a long overdue update. I am doing OK now. Health-wise I am still doing good too. I have had a few bumps in the road but nothing I couldn't handle. The OM is long gone. His wife divorced him and he moved back home halfway across the country to live with his ailing father. Things at home are OK too. I am still biding my time but every once in a while I feel a crack in my armor.
> I also took up a old hobby and restored a car I had always wanted and have already placed 2nd in a car show.
> I am not sure how I could have made it this far without this place.



Thank you for the update and it's nice to hear that you are OK.... especially health-wise.


----------



## X-B

CantBelieveThis said:


> I have respect for those, when I had my 89 Mustang 5.0 I was only beat by two others, a grand national and a Porsche.... The GN spanked me bad, all I remember was hearing his turbos as he flew past me like if I was standing still!!! Smoked just about everything else, it was supercharged with 2 stage 250 nos kit, ran low 11's with street tires and was my daily driver with AC and all... The good old days, how I met my wife was during street races, who would know then she would cheat on me and cause me the biggest grief ever!!! Glad to hear about you.
> 
> Sent from my SM-T700 using Tapatalk


 Anybody that feels lost needs to find something that brings them back from the brink. I was lost and one day a friend called and told me about a car that had been sitting 15 years and the owner needed some money. I took one look and had it roll backed home.


----------



## tom67

X-B said:


> !986 Grand national I upgraded it to 719 HP on the DYNO


Holy sh!t

:allhail::allhail:


----------



## farsidejunky

X-B said:


> Wheelstand was at Beech Bend last Oct. Anybody that feels lost needs to find something that brings them back from the brink. I was lost and one day a friend called and told me about a car that had been sitting 15 years and the owner needed some money. I took one look and had it roll backed home.


Sexy!

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


----------



## Chuck71

Saw your thread posted in Podia's. You are not a champ... you are a champion.

Heartbreaking to hear how things turned out..... but you have the kids. Golden.....

You're a fighter and fighters always win......


----------



## Archangel2

@X-B: Hope you are doing well.


----------



## SunCMars

Archangel2 said:


> @X-B: Hope you are doing well.


The original post was before my entry into TAM-ATO VILLE. I fell off the turnip truck and ended up here. No, I think it was @turnera 's two wheeler that I fell off of. The one with the big Canadian Snow Tires.

This is what I like about TAM, hell, about life. Someone is always thinking about the old aches and pains that others wore on their shields. 

Thank you for caring for a stranger. A voice from the past.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................

X-B advanced in the Nationals.

His wife is still a B. She always was a B.....almost an X-B.

Him? He is now an XR-71.


----------



## 3putt

Archangel2 said:


> @X-B: Hope you are doing well.


Yeah, same here. I think of him often. Hope his health is improving. You just can't help but to love that guy with the way he handled things.


----------



## BetrayedDad

X-B said:


> Anybody that feels lost needs to find something that brings them back from the brink.


Amazing advice... I wish I could like it 100 times.

Mine was immersing myself in fixing up my house.


----------

