# I've Participated in My Husband's Fetish for 25 Years.



## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

I'm a 52 year old woman, still married after 25 years and I feel compelled to share my experience. I hope it can help others and I'd like feedback/ advice/ whatever for myself as well.

I married my husband in the spring of 1996, knowing that he has a fetish for casts - like the ones work for a broken bone. To clarify, he is not turned on to the actual injury or pain or anything like that and has never hurt me for sexual or any other reason. I was 27 and he had/ has so many good qualities and treats me well, so I willingly accepted and participated in his fetish.

A few times a year, he would buy supplies and apply a cast onto one or more of my limbs and he would enjoy the experience. We got more adventurous as time went on. I even wore these casts out in public most of the time, acting as if it were a 'real' cast and a few times I kept the cast for a full medical term of 4-8 weeks.

We have been doing less over the years, but I think that is a function of age (he is 5 years older than me) and he has assured me that I'm 'enough'. We've always had relations without any casts/ medical fetish, but it's a noticeable difference in his enjoyment/ interest. 

My pictures have been posted online over the years and I'm not sure how I feel about that in retrospect.

I never had any children of my own, but my husband had children in a first marriage before we met and we now have grandchildren that I treat as my own. I am concerned about family seeing the pictures (we were always very private/ secretive to people we know like friends and family)

Thanks for reading if you made it this far and I look forward to hearing your thoughts. A few pictures are attached. I'm happy to share more/ answer questions if anyone would like 

{Images are removed by moderator.}


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I wouldn’t broadcast your pictures all over the net. Dangerous.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

That's a unique fetish, but it seems harmless. It's also a skill that you can use with real injuries.
At least he doesn't have Amputation Fetishism, which is exactly what it sounds like.


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## Quad73 (May 10, 2021)

Donna123 said:


> I am concerned about family seeing the pictures (we were always very private/ secretive to people we know like friends and family)


The attached pictures and your profile picture and your profile name may be an issue.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

Evinrude58 said:


> I wouldn’t broadcast your pictures all over the net. Dangerous.


They've already been posted over the years, starting in the late 90's. That is part of what I've been reflecting on. Thanks for the heads-up though


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

Quad73 said:


> The attached pictures and your profile picture and your profile name may be an issue.


I appreciate your concern, but most/ all of these posted here plus many more have already been 'out there' for years


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

jonty30 said:


> That's a unique fetish, but it seems harmless.


Right... because playing doctor and casting yourself without proper knowledge is totally harmless


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

bobert said:


> Right... because playing doctor and casting yourself without proper knowledge is totally harmless


It's not hard to set a cast. It's an age old skill. 
Medicine is not some archaic magical skill that only a few can do.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Well, what ever floats your boat. There is pretty much a fetish for everything.

Did you come here to actually ask something, or just to titillate everyone with your fetish? Maybe you and your husband are expanding the fetish to include some exhibitionism?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

jonty30 said:


> It's not hard to set a cast. It's an age old skill.
> Medicine is not some archaic magical skill that only a few can do.


Cool. Then why bother going through a decade of medical training? No need! Dr. Google is good enough!!


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Well, what ever floats your boat. There is pretty much a fetish for everything.
> 
> Did you come here to actually ask something, or just to titillate everyone with your fetish? Maybe you and your husband are expanding the fetish to include some exhibitionism?


More to share my experience to others that it can 'work' to incorporate a fetish into marriage. Partly to ask what's next as we are getting older?


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

I'm curious how he removes the casts.

You set the blade a bit too deep and now you got yourself a problem.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

bobert said:


> Cool. Then why bother going through a decade of medical training? No need! Dr. Google is good enough!!


Putting on a cast really isn't rocket science. I've had enough of them to know I could successfully put one on.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Trident said:


> I'm curious how he removes the casts.
> 
> You set the blade a bit too deep and now you got yourself a problem.


Have you ever had a cast removed? The saw they use vibrates, so it cuts through the fiberglass, but won't cut skin. I would assume someone into this fetish would also have the proper removal tools.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Putting on a cast really isn't rocket science. I've had enough of them to know I could successfully put one on.


I could put a cast on as well, but wrapping it up and throwing on some plaster isn't all you're doing. You have to get the angle right as well and that takes more than Googling a picture and eyeballing it. Casting yourself for months in the incorrect position, even slightly, isn't going to be good. 

But hey, idiots will be idiots.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

bobert said:


> Cool. Then why bother going through a decade of medical training? No need! Dr. Google is good enough!!


I assume that the ten years is spent on other areas than setting a cast.
Setting a cast can be found on Google.
How to Apply a Cast to a Broken Arm: 14 Steps (with Pictures) (wikihow.com)


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

jonty30 said:


> I assume that the ten years is spent on other areas than setting a cast.
> Setting a cast can be found on Google.
> How to Apply a Cast to a Broken Arm: 14 Steps (with Pictures) (wikihow.com)


So, next time you break your arm no free medical care for you! Go to Wikihow. After all, Google makes you an expert!

You can probably even Google how to do your own burr holes with a rusty drill! Lucky you!


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Have you ever had a cast removed? The saw they use vibrates, so it cuts through the fiberglass, but won't cut skin. I would assume someone into this fetish would also have the proper removal tools.


Yes, it's called an oscillating saw and we have & use one


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

bobert said:


> So, next time you break your arm no free medical care for you! Go to Wikihow. After all, Google makes you an expert!


I DO NOT recommend ever putting a cast on yourself for an injury. Ours were purely "recreational"


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Donna123 said:


> I am concerned about family seeing the pictures (


The obvious cure for that is stop putting them on the internet. I would delete the ones you have posted here.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Donna123 said:


> I DO NOT recommend ever putting a cast on yourself for an injury. Ours were purely "recreational"


Doesn't matter. You are still possibly bracing a limb in an incorrect position, for months.



Donna123 said:


> I am concerned about family seeing the pictures


Then why are you continuing to post them in more places? How did you explain all of these "injuries" to family, friends, neighbors, work?


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Didn't you end up with muscle loss or movement restriction after removing the cast? 

I wonder what orthopedists think about this?


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Donna123 said:


> I'm a 52 year old woman, still married after 25 years and I feel compelled to share my experience. I hope it can help others and I'd like feedback/ advice/ whatever for myself as well.
> 
> I married my husband in the spring of 1996, knowing that he has a fetish for casts - like the ones work for a broken bone. To clarify, he is not turned on to the actual injury or pain or anything like that and has never hurt me for sexual or any other reason. I was 27 and he had/ has so many good qualities and treats me well, so I willingly accepted and participated in his fetish.
> 
> ...


"Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright, it's alright" - John Lennon


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

bobert said:


> Doesn't matter. You are still possibly bracing a limb in an incorrect position, for months.
> 
> 
> Then why are you continuing to post them in more places? How did you explain all of these "injuries" to family, friends, neighbors, work?


My phrasing about 'concern' may be wrong. The pics have been online since the late 90's and I was ok with that- my husband got my consent- it's just something I wonder about from time to time. 

Friends and family never found out. I only wore a cast for more than a week a couple times and it was totally believable in appearance and backstory. We would go out of town other times to avoid being recognized and the larger/ more unrealistic casts we would stay home for


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Not something I would take part in but hey ho.
Not sure how you hide it from family and friends if you sometimes wear them for weeks, plus the muscles must waste as well. 
Also going out in them seems rather deceptive. People will assume they are real and presumably they ask about your injuries? So then you lie?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Well, step one in keeping a secret is not telling anyone. Posting cast pictures on the internet is telling everyone. So there's that.

I'm of the opinion that as long as everyone is an adult participating voluntarily then whatever works is really your business. By putting out all these pictures, you're making it more than just your business. I'd take the pictures down and stop posting them. But honestly, there are very few pictures of me on the internet anywhere, and they're all group pictures, and I'm not tagged or identified specifically in any of them. I have ZERO idea how hard it would be to take them down, and there's also the fact that if suddenly they all disappear that may spark questions. I feel like I've been zero help here, but if nothing else, marriage is hard and if you can stay together, faithful and happy for a long time and this is the only thing that even causes the slightest concern you're pretty much winning at marriage.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Remember the 1996 movie, "Crash." It was about car wreck and this type fetish. It was all about the obsession. 

I don't know why you posted these photos unless you are really wanting people to see them and seek out other fetishists, but if so, this isn't the place for it. Certainly, this info will color the opinion of the people you know. Some things are meant to be kept private and sex life is one of them!


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

I think he cast a spell on you long before becoming that a master plaster-master.

You are a very compliant lady.
He is very lucky to have such a wife.

That said, he needs to find a new hobby.
Why invite 'in' the strange thoughts of others.

I sense your approval of his fetish and do enjoy acting appropriately and talking it up.
A bit of an exhibitionist you be, Deary.

........................................................

Some possibilities:

a) His need and love of this fetish must go back to his childhood.
He had a crush on some. cute, little red haired girl.
She likely wore a cast, during this imprinting phase.

b) He has strong maternal needs that are met, when, you are 'seen' injured.
Does this fetish include him fussing over you when you are bound in plaster?
Does he assist your bathing and hair brushing when you are bound up?

.......................................................................................................

How could a virile man 'ever', fully cover his wife's chest in plaster? 

Not having access to her breasts is really 'over the top', uh, over the tips.

Once done, he likely did a lot of knocking on, tapping and rubbing that area.
To no avail.
That seems really odd.

It must have led to a lot of sweating and itching over such sensitive mounds.
I see that as abusive.



_King Brian-_


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Posting them more isn't going to help..🙄🙄🙄


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

SunCMars said:


> I think he cast a spell on you long before becoming that a master plaster-master.
> 
> You are a very compliant lady.
> He is very lucky to have such a wife.
> ...


Yes, I'm compliant or sexually submissive I suppose

I don't feel that he's abusive. Certainly not physically abusive. I consent to being in the casts. Yes, they can be hot, itchy, uncomfortable, because they are 'real' casts, but I don't feel that this is abuse. He communicates with me beforehand, takes good care of me and always gets the ok to do anything

a and b) Yes, he does enjoy the whole 'experience' including caring for me and having me helpless/ needy for him.

I have asked him more times than I can count how it started/ when he first noticed it/ etc and never gotten a straightforward answer

I don't question him being a 'real' man. Covering my arms or legs, even torso or breasts isn't anything to make him incomplete or wrong. Someone who wanted a wife to wear leather or like a corset or a costume or anything would also cover parts of their body


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Donna123 said:


> Yes, I'm compliant or sexually submissive I suppose
> 
> I don't feel that he's abusive. Certainly not physically abusive. I consent to being in the casts. Yes, they can be hot, itchy, uncomfortable, because they are 'real' casts, but I don't feel that this is abuse. He communicates with me beforehand, takes good care of me and always gets the ok to do anything
> 
> ...


Leather or corsets don't cause discomfort and are taken off after the event. They also don't cause harm to the muscles or skin. 
They also dont deceive others you come across outside. 

Why would someone who loves you want to put you through this, and you are enabling it. Why would he put all these photos of you on line?


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

I will say this, I’m blown away at your willingness to go thru with such annoyance and inconvenience to serve your husband and heighten his sexual enjoyment. You are a rare breed. I hope your H fully appreciates what he has!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

I have to say that even though he hasn't hurt you, it's not uncommon as well with extreme desires to do the milder version at home to their wife and do the real deal harming unconsenting strangers. I would certainly pay attention if he has time to have a secret life.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

gr8ful1 said:


> I will say this, I’m blown away at your willingness to go thru with such annoyance and inconvenience to serve your husband and heighten his sexual enjoyment. You are a rare breed. I hope your H fully appreciates what he has!


Do you think that enabling something harmful like this is a good thing?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Do you think that enabling something harmful like this is a good thing?


The discomfort of the casts aren't what worries me. For me, the bigger, scarier red flag is when she mentioned he enjoyed her being helpless. Any time a man wants a woman in a position where she is forced to rely on him is just a HUGE warning sign. I don't think there is anything healthy about wanting another person to be helpless and HAVE to depend on you, it's a scary, abusive level of control that no one wants for a good reason.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> The discomfort of the casts aren't what worries me. For me, the bigger, scarier red flag is when she mentioned he enjoyed her being helpless. Any time a man wants a woman in a position where she is forced to rely on him is just a HUGE warning sign. I don't think there is anything healthy about wanting another person to be helpless and HAVE to depend on you, it's a scary, abusive level of control that no one wants for a good reason.


Limits are important and building trust with your partner to stay within them allows for giving up control in a safe way. He's not forcing me to be helpless against my will. I'm giving up control to him willingly for his pleasure that give me satisfaction in turn to be the one pleasing him


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Donna123 said:


> it was totally believable in appearance and *backstory*.


So, he also gets a kick out of fooling people. How much attention would he get if people knew the real story? Sounds kind of like Munchausen syndrome by proxy.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

BigDaddyNY said:


> *Did you come here to actually ask something, or just to titillate everyone with your fetish? *


LOL...you found this titillating?

I found it highly amusing. There's an ass for every seat, I guess.

I thought maybe the OP was going to say that her husband was cheating on her by hanging out at the local hospital looking for patients with casts to hit on, or something.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I thought maybe the OP was going to say that her husband was cheating on her by hanging out at the local hospital looking for patients with casts to hit on, or something.


He doesn't do stuff like that. That's not to say I don't feel jealous when we see an adult woman in a cast. No different than how I feel if a buxom woman in a swimsuit walked by


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Donna123 said:


> Limits are important and building trust with your partner to stay within them allows for giving up control in a safe way. He's not forcing me to be helpless against my will. I'm giving up control to him willingly for his pleasure that give me satisfaction in turn to be the one pleasing him


I understand. It's the submissive/dominant game. When it's a sex game, actually the submissive is the more powerful because they can stop it at any time. There are of course varying extremes of those games. It's fine for sex but completely different in life.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Donna123 said:


> Limits are important and building trust with your partner to stay within them allows for giving up control in a safe way. He's not forcing me to be helpless against my will. I'm giving up control to him willingly for his pleasure that give me satisfaction in turn to be the one pleasing him


I'd say the limits were exceeded years ago since you've been doing this so long and also by the length of time you're having to stay in a cast. I've been in a cast and it sucks and it's not good for your body.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I'd say the limits were exceeded years ago since you've been doing this so long and also by the length of time you're having to stay in a cast. I've been in a cast and it sucks and it's not good for your body.


I've worn casts in my life, Not fun


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

I’ve always thought fetishes/addictions had an underlying sinister aspect to them. 🤔 

Philosophically speaking, someone may love pizza for example, but they don’t get obsessive with it nor does it lessen their enjoyment of other foods.

Any thoughts on that?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

CatholicDad said:


> I’ve always thought fetishes/addictions had an underlying sinister aspect to them. 🤔
> 
> Philosophically speaking, someone may love pizza for example, but they don’t get obsessive with it nor does it lessen their enjoyment of other foods.
> 
> Any thoughts on that?


Not sure about sinister, but I do see it as the skewing of the normal sexual desires. Maybe due to past events.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

CatholicDad said:


> I’ve always thought fetishes/addictions had an underlying sinister aspect to them. 🤔
> 
> Philosophically speaking, someone may love pizza for example, but they don’t get obsessive with it nor does it lessen their enjoyment of other foods.
> 
> Any thoughts on that?


Anything taken to an extreme is unhealthy. A "fetish" can be anything from BDSM to preferring a blonde to a brunette. Does a man who thinks women's feet are pretty have a fetish? Yes. Is he following strange women around taking pictures of their feet? Ok, we've crossed a very visible line, and everyone, including foot picture guy, knows that.

It also depends on your feelings about sex in general. If you generally think that sex is dirty and bad you're going to view all sex as sinister.

*ETA: *I tried removing this post because it was deemed offensive but somehow it has been put back. *The blonde/brunette example is factually incorrect* (unless it were extreme, for example if a man could not become sexually aroused by brown hair, only blonde, but I won't say more about it). What I was trying to illustrate was that fetishes range from the innocuous to the more extreme.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> Not sure about sinister, but I do see it as the skewing of the normal sexual desires. Maybe due to past events.


Would you say that folks who are partial to one sexual position have a fetish or a preference?


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Would you say that folks who are partial to one sexual position have a fetish or a preference?


Preference. And those change. Our’s have


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Would you say that folks who are partial to one sexual position have a fetish or a preference?


I think it very much depends on who you ask and how they feel about sex in general.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I think it very much depends on who you ask and how they feel about sex in general.


And that's my point 👍👍😁😁!!

Gold star to @TexasMom1216 !!


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I think it very much depends on who you ask and how they feel about sex in general.


That’s a good point


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Have you ever had a cast removed? The saw they use vibrates, so it cuts through the fiberglass, but won't cut skin. I would assume someone into this fetish would also have the proper removal tools.


Yeah that didn't work for me. I had broken my ankle and when they used that "saw" to cut off the cast, it cut a line straight down the outside part of my calf right down and ON to the ankle bone. NOT fun.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

jlg07 said:


> Yeah that didn't work for me. I had broken my ankle and when they used that "saw" to cut off the cast, it cut a line straight down the outside part of my calf right down and ON to the ankle bone. NOT fun.


My gosh !!


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

jlg07 said:


> Yeah that didn't work for me. I had broken my ankle and when they used that "saw" to cut off the cast, it cut a line straight down the outside part of my calf right down and ON to the ankle bone. NOT fun.


Yeah I think that's less about sexy time and more about medical negligence...


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

boy, that is such an innocuous fetish, i would not even worry about it. if anyone questions it ever, just say it was for some gag photos you were taking.

i am glad you two can help each other out! Usually someone posting here is having TROUBLE in the marriage. You are firing on all cylinders and doing great!

i am curious though, you must enjoy it somewhat too. have you tried other forms of bondage, such as Japanese Kinbaku or Shibari? you might enjoy that even more


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Yeah I think that's less about sexy time and more about medical negligence...


Yeah, the head of orthopedics (he was our neighbor around the corner) came in, saw that, and gave the technician holy hell and had him apologize! That Dr was like 6'6" and NOT someone you'd want to mess with!


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Yeah I think that's less about sexy time and more about medical negligence...


Lawsuit!


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> boy, that is such an innocuous fetish, i would not even worry about it. if anyone questions it ever, just say it was for some gag photos you were taking.
> 
> i am glad you two can help each other out! Usually someone posting here is having TROUBLE in the marriage. You are firing on all cylinders and doing great!
> 
> i am curious though, you must enjoy it somewhat too. have you tried other forms of bondage, such as Japanese Kinbaku or Shibari? you might enjoy that even more


No I have not done other bondage other than the typical handcuffs, gag, etc
I enjoy pleasing him more than the casts themselves but I don’t mind them


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Donna123 said:


> My pictures have been posted online over the years and I'm not sure how I feel about that in retrospect.


I think as you have been cast in a relatively new role as grandmother it is only natural to think about whether these pictures might seem out of place to some.

I think it’s important to not let these ideas gain too much traction in your mind. You can’t erase what is already out there so it’s better to be at peace with it.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> I think as you have been cast in a relatively new role as grandmother it is only natural to think about whether these pictures might seem out of place to some.
> 
> I think it’s important to not let these ideas gain too much traction in your mind. You can’t erase what is already out there so it’s better to be at peace with it.


Yes, that’s where I’m at with any pics. You can’t unring that bell and I’m just accepting of it

p.s. I don’t know if you used the words “cast” and “traction” on purpose or not, but clever wordplay


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Donna123 said:


> Yes, that’s where I’m at with any pics. You can’t unring that bell and I’m just accepting of it
> 
> p.s. I don’t know if you used the words “cast” and “traction” on purpose or not, but clever wordplay


Oh my, I hadn’t even noticed!


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

ccpowerslave said:


> Oh my, I hadn’t even noticed!


I’d assumed it was clever wordplay as well. You madcap!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TexasMom1216 said:


> Anything taken to an extreme is unhealthy. *A "fetish" can be anything from BDSM to preferring a blonde to a brunette.* Does a man who thinks women's feet are pretty have a fetish? Yes. Is he following strange women around taking pictures of their feet? Ok, we've crossed a very visible line, and everyone, including foot picture guy, knows that.
> 
> It also depends on your feelings about sex in general. If you generally think that sex is dirty and bad you're going to view all sex as sinister.


I looked up the definition of 'fetish'. Preferring blondes is not a fetish per the definition.

Definition "Fetish" ... a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> I looked up the definition of 'fetish'. Preferring blondes is not a fetish per the definition.
> 
> Definition "Fetish" ... a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.


I've removed the post and stopped following the thread. Sorry.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I've removed the post and stopped following the thread. Sorry.


Why did you remove the post? It's a good post.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Would you say that folks who are partial to one sexual position have a fetish or a preference?


There is a big difference between a preference and a fetish. See Elegirls post.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> Why did you remove the post? It's a good post.


 All the posts are removed. I haven't disagreed with you on the thread. If the official thread stance is that fetishes are all extreme and bad, then I will conform whether I agree or not.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

TexasMom1216 said:


> All the posts are removed. I haven't disagreed with you on the thread. If the official thread stance is that fetishes are all extreme and bad, then I will conform whether I agree or not.


There is no official thread stance on the definition of fetishes. You post just made me curious of what the actual definition of the word is and so I looked it up and posted the definition. We are all here to help each other and to learn from each other.

I posted on this thread just like any other member does. All moderators/admin post here just like anyone else.

If any of the moderators/admins post for 'official' purposes, we indicated that. Generally, I'll post saying "speaking as a moderator" and I use red text so it's clear that it's a moderator/admin post.

There is zero need for you to remove posts. If a moderator thinks a post needs to be removed/deleted, the moderator will remove/delete it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> All the posts are removed. I haven't disagreed with you on the thread. If the official thread stance is that fetisphes are all extreme and bad, then I will conform whether I agree or not.


There is no official thread stance. People seem to have widely different thoughts and views.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> There is no official thread stance on the definition of fetishes. You post just made me curious of what the actual definition of the word is and so I looked it up and posted the definition. We are all here to help each other and to learn from each other.
> 
> I posted on this thread just like any other member does. All moderators/admin post here just like anyone else.
> 
> ...


Posting the definition of the word was very helpful. It disproved the idea that a man preferring blonds is a fetish for example. Which of course it's not.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Diana7 said:


> Posting the definition of the word was very helpful. It disproved the idea that a man preferring blonds is a fetish for example. Which of course it's not.


Yea, looking up the definition helped me put things in perspective.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Donna123,

Has the complexity of the casts increased over the years? Do they cover more of your body now than they did early on? For example, the photo of the cast that covers you from waist up above your breasts one arm is very much more complex than say a cast on your hand/wrist.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> I'd say the limits were exceeded years ago since you've been doing this so long and also by the length of time you're having to stay in a cast. I've been in a cast and it sucks and it's not good for your body.


yes, NORMALLY it is not fun to wear a cast.

but normally it would not be fun to have someone tie you up, and suspend you from a ceiling for an hour too. 

but people DO get intense sexual gratification from the later--both from being tied up, and from doing the tying.

What is "normal" kind of does not enter into it once you cross the line into Fetish Sex. in fact, being counter to normal is part of the allure in a lot of cases.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> yes, NORMALLY it is not fun to wear a cast.
> 
> but normally it would not be fun to have someone tie you up, and suspend you from a ceiling for an hour too.
> 
> ...


How many people do you know who like being tied up and suspended from the ceiling? It's like something that happens in a horror film. 

The difference with a cast is that it's not just on for sex, it's on for days and even weeks. Causing discomfort and deceiving people they meet when they are out, presumably for sympathy. A bit like those people who pretend they have cancer or whatever to get sympathy.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

TexasMom1216 said:


> All the posts are removed. I haven't disagreed with you on the thread. If the official thread stance is that fetishes are all extreme and bad, then I will conform whether I agree or not.


You are the absolute king of over reacting.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

BigDaddyNY said:


> You are the absolute king of over reacting.


Very over sensitive. We have to accept that on a forum there will be all sorts of opinions and thoughts in every thread.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Very over sensitive. We have to accept that on a forum there will be all sorts of opinions and thoughts in every thread.


Variety is the spice of live. Although cinnamon is a close second.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Variety is the spice of live. Although cinnamon is a close second.


Of life^


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> @Donna123,
> 
> Has the complexity of the casts increased over the years? Do they cover more of your body now than they did early on? For example, the photo of the cast that covers you from waist up above your breasts one arm is very much more complex than say a cast on your hand/wrist.


It varies. In the early days of our marriage, I did several 'spica casts' like the shoulder spica that was briefly posted on here (waist up to armpits and all of one arm for those who didn't see it), a hip spica that was from my chest to toes on both legs, and a chest to head/ neck cast. Casts that you'd see everyday have always been mixed in. The large casts or combinations are the rarer exception. We still occasionally do large casts like that. More frequently, if we do something more immobilizing, it will be in the form of casting multiple limbs separately, rather than one large cast including the torso. Sorry if that was too detailed for your question.

I really like the opportunity to share my experiences. I've kept them to myself all these years and it's nice to have an outlet like this

This thread has become a bit contentious over definitions of a fetish and I would like to state my opinion that I don't see the need for labels. Like the Supreme Court opinion that said something along the lines of 'I don't know how to define pornography but I know it when I see it'. We have a good relationship based on our feelings, caring for each other and mutual respect with his fetish as one aspect that I willingly do. We don't need to label anything or try to keep any feelings in one neat category- life isn't that simple and that's ok


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Donna123 said:


> We don't need to label anything or try to keep any feelings in one neat category- life isn't that simple and that's ok


That seems like a healthy way to frame your thoughts and not be constrained or bound by rigid thinking.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> How many people do you know who like being tied up and suspended from the ceiling? It's like something that happens in a horror film.
> 
> The difference with a cast is that it's not just on for sex, it's on for days and even weeks. Causing discomfort and deceiving people they meet when they are out, presumably for sympathy. A bit like those people who pretend they have cancer or whatever to get sympathy.


How many?
well its not really my wife's thing, so personally i have not sought them out.
but in boston and southern NH there are rope clinics, bondage "dungeons", etc. It would not be hard to find 100 or so people into it nearby with a few hours notice.
the fetish groups have these monthly "meets"...sometimes just to eat and drink at a local bar/restaurant, or sometimes at a private party that you have to be vetted first to get into.
but it is not a small community

btw, *suspension* bondage is not something you do without some training. the way you tie someone, the escape gear, the suspension points....all need to be strong enough and done right to be safe. in otherwords, someone has to "show you the ropes"


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

here is a weekend long fetish show in New Hampshire, at a big hotel/conference center
was canceled for this year due to covid, but i bet november 2022 it will be on again...



https://www.kinkyconnh.com/


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> How many?
> well its not really my wife's thing, so personally i have not sought them out.
> but in boston and southern NH there are rope clinics, bondage "dungeons", etc. It would not be hard to find 100 or so people into it nearby.
> the fetish groups have these monthly "meets"...sometimes just to eat and drink at a local bar/restaurant, or sometimes at a private party that you have to be vetted first to get into.
> but it is not a small community


Its sad that some are so damaged that they have to do such nightmarish things to be able to be turned on.I have to wonder what happened to them to cause that.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Its sad that some are so damaged that they have to do such nightmarish things to be able to be turned on.I have to wonder what happened to them to cause that.


Human sexual arousal mechanisms are complex and not well understood.
but the mind is certainly a big part of the equation. Turn on the mind, and the body will follow.

So if you can not get aroused as a woman, or hard as a man, without some kinky side gig going on....i am not going to question the need for it. If it works, many guys can take a little blue pill now....not sure what women can do though if the plumbing is not working. Maybe for some women, they NEED to don some leather stiletto boots, get a riding crop, and perform the whole act?


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Talker67 said:


> Human sexual arousal mechanisms are complex and not well understood.
> but the mind is certainly a big part of the equation. Turn on the mind, and the body will follow.
> 
> So if you can not get aroused as a woman, or hard as a man, without some kinky side gig going on....i am not going to question the need for it. If ir works, many guys can take a little blue pill now....not sure what women can do though if the plumbing is not working.


The little blue pill is not magic. Take it, wait a bit, start sexual activity which is needed for pill to take effect.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> How many people do you know who like being tied up and suspended from the ceiling? It's like something that happens in a horror film.
> 
> The difference with a cast is that it's not just on for sex, it's on for days and even weeks. Causing discomfort and deceiving people they meet when they are out, presumably for sympathy. A bit like those people who pretend they have cancer or whatever to get sympathy.


It reeks of munchausen's.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I'm not sure if you say anywhere that you enjoy doing this apart from satisfying your husband's fetish? Do you actually enjoy or is it just the "pleasure" you get from making your husband happy?


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> I'm not sure if you say anywhere that you enjoy doing this apart from satisfying your husband's fetish? Do you actually enjoy or is it just the "pleasure" you get from making your husband happy?


I don't mind it per se but I can't see myself doing any of this without him. 

For example: I'm really good on crutches, don't mind using them, am ok going out with them, but wouldn't use them to go shopping by myself, but I'm happy to do it for my hubby


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Donna123 said:


> I don't mind it per se but I can't see myself doing any of this without him.
> 
> For example: I'm really good on crutches, don't mind using them, am ok going out with them, but wouldn't use them to go shopping by myself, but I'm happy to do it for my hubby


Cheers, it sounds to me you don't actually "enjoy" it that much. So, you don't derive much pleasure from it, apart from making your husband happy. But surely you could have found a similar pleasant and agreeable man in your life without having to endure this "torture"? I'm a bit baffled by it. Are you a very insecure person?


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

In Absentia said:


> Cheers, it sounds to me you don't actually "enjoy" it that much. So, you don't derive much pleasure from it, apart from making your husband happy. But surely you could have found a similar pleasant and agreeable man in your life without having to endure this "torture"? I'm a bit baffled by it. Are you a very insecure person?


First of all. It's not 'torture'

As far as enjoying it; no, I guess not. The counterpoint is that I don't like cleaning house either but I do it anyway when company is coming over 

Apart from fairy tales, everyone has good qualities and maybe let's call them 'less desirable' ones but the good outweighs the bad and I don't regret choosing to spend my life with him

I do admit I can be insecure and I was in my 20's when we met, so point taken


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

threads like this one might be pointless.
If you never have sexual fantasies, and never have done any kinky sex, your brain is just not wired to do that. no matter how many descriptions and explanations you read, kinky sex will not be something you ever understand. It will remain one of those dangerous weird things you choose to ignore. Or worse yet, some thing Satan is tricking you into so you will burn in hell for all eternity!


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Donna123 said:


> Apart from fairy tales, everyone has good qualities and maybe let's call them 'less desirable' ones but the good outweighs the bad and I don't regret choosing to spend my life with him


This is an interesting thread and I think it is fairly rare for someone to speak up to help others. Most folks here likely assume you have a problem that needs to be solved, but I think your intentions or more of the "Ask Me Anything" gesture to try and help others digest the dynamics of a fetish. So I'll ask a question in that respect...

Do you feel that by allowing your husband to express his fetish openly encouraged it to grow stronger or helped it to be tamed and become mild? In my opinion it is important to remove shame from any type of behavior that can be expressed within a loving and kind context without harming anyone. I think by not shaming your husband that it created an environment that expressed itself as a rather mild form of role play. What do you think would have happened had you never allowed his fetish to be expressed, and perhaps you can ask him for his thoughts on the topic. Would it have just been ignored and subdued by attrition or would shame have fueled it to become problematic? Or vice versa has expressing it allowed it to grow and become more problematic? I am guessing that you helped him tame it into something rather manageable and perhaps enjoyable at time if it has empowered you to feel that you know him better as a result.

Regards, 
Badsanta


----------



## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

badsanta said:


> This is an interesting thread and I think it is fairly rare for someone to speak up to help others. Most folks here likely assume you have a problem that needs to be solved, but I think your intentions or more of the "Ask Me Anything" gesture to try and help others digest the dynamics of a fetish. So I'll ask a question in that respect...
> 
> Do you feel that by allowing your husband to express his fetish openly encouraged it to grow stronger or helped it to be tamed and become mild? In my opinion it is important to remove shame from any type of behavior that can be expressed within a loving and kind context without harming anyone. I think by not shaming your husband that it created an environment that expressed itself as a rather mild form of role play. What do you think would have happened had you never allowed his fetish to be expressed, and perhaps you can ask him for his thoughts on the topic. Would it have just been ignored and subdued by attrition or would shame have fueled it to become problematic? Or vice versa has expressing it allowed it to grow and become more problematic? I am guessing that you helped him tame it into something rather manageable and perhaps enjoyable at time if it has empowered you to feel that you know him better as a result.
> 
> ...


Yes, I was hoping to share my experiences and help others and it has felt good to discuss this becasue I've kept it to myself all these years

I think my husband really took the opportunity to explore his fetish, but that's ok. He was able to get those feelings out and I was able to do that for him

Role play is a good way to put it- just a more involved version

I feel like he would have sought out satisfaction elsewhere if I didn't but I'm not hurt because I knew going in what he wanted. Not expected of me, but if I didn't do it, he would have been seeking it online or from others. Either that or we never worked have worked out like he and his ex wife.

We can still live our 'normal lives' and be happy so it is definitely 'managed' and not in control of our lives


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Donna123,

Is this really associated with sex, or is it more some play acting that helps your husband feel better? You say that he likes it when your are helpless and he takes care of you.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> It reeks of munchausen's.


Absolutely, wanting attention. Otherwise why go out wearing a cast.? They could keep it just for them at home.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> Donna123,
> 
> Is this really associated with sex, or is it more some play acting that helps your husband feel better? You say that he likes it when your are helpless and he takes care of you.


I'd say 50-50


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Donna123 said:


> Yes, I was hoping to share my experiences and help others and it has felt good to discuss this becasue I've kept it to myself all these years
> 
> I think my husband really took the opportunity to explore his fetish, but that's ok. He was able to get those feelings out and I was able to do that for him
> 
> ...


OK so you are saying that he has no control over it and if you had said no he would have cheated?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Longtime Hubby said:


> Of life^


Educational threadjack: Do you see the three vertical dots in the upper right corner of your post? Click on it and you have the option to click edit and can then fix your post. It does have a time limit (how long I don't know).

Sorry, OP.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> OK so you are saying that he has no control over it and if you had said no he would have cheated?


He manages it just fine, but I think he would have needed some outlet regardless. Not necessarily cheating but we probably wouldn't have been able to stay together. He was totally open about it ahead of time though


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Also, I have to say that this fetish, and others that entail disabling the other person are horrifying to me. If anyone ever suggested doing anything like this to me I would get out of there as fast as I could. The closest reaction that I can think of would be claustrophobia. Although, the definition of claustrophobia is that it's an irrational fear. I don't think being afraid of bondage and this cast fetish is irrational at all.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Donna123 said:


> He manages it just fine, but I think he would have needed some outlet regardless. Not necessarily cheating but we probably wouldn't have been able to stay together. He was totally open about it ahead of time though


I can't agree. You say he is able to have and enjoy sex without it.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Also, I have to say that this fetish, and others that entail disabling the other person are horrifying to me. If anyone ever suggested doing anything like this to me I would get out of there as fast as I could. The closest reaction that I can think of would be claustrophobia. Although, the definition of claustrophobia is that it's an irrational fear. I don't think being afraid of bondage and this cast fetish is irrational at all.


If any man asked me to be encased in plaster or tied up and suspended from a ceiling I I would have run a mile. I see things like that as very abusive and deranged. I would not trust a man who wanted to cause harm in those sorts if ways.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Donna123 said:


> First of all. It's not 'torture'



That's why it was in inverted commas and thanks for giving more details. It's a lot clearer now.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

No children should be exposed to that. They're not going to understand it, and they should not be made to. One of these days one of them is going to go to their school counselor and tell him grandma is always in a cast and CPS is going to come visit.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> Also, I have to say that this fetish, and others that entail disabling the other person are horrifying to me. If anyone ever suggested doing anything like this to me I would get out of there as fast as I could. The closest reaction that I can think of would be claustrophobia. Although, the definition of claustrophobia is that it's an irrational fear. I don't think being afraid of bondage and this cast fetish is irrational at all.


A lot of folks, guys and gals both do like different levels of bondage. One if the more common kinks in the milder forms.

It might be a challenge to find any happy sex life ltr couple that hasn't time to time enjoyed bondage play now and then. Not everyone but any couple in a happy M with a happy sex life has experimented with this and that. Perfectly normal, perfectly fine most definitely.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> No children should be exposed to that. They're not going to understand it, and they should not be made to. One of these days one of them is going to go to their school counselor and tell him grandma is always in a cast and CPS is going to come visit.


Did I miss somewhere where kids are mentioned?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

This fetish does seem odd, but OP's husband is far from the only person into this kind of thing. When you break it down I think what you have is a combination of a form of bondage, the desire to help the "damsel in distress", and an attraction to the way the woman looks in the cast, similar to wearing something sexy. To those of us that don't get a thrill from these it seems weird and maybe even deranged, but this isn't our life. @Donna123 knew what she was getting into before she married him. Kudos to her and her husband for discussing sex before getting married. To me, if both partners in a relationship are all good with a particular sexual activity then go for it. Who are we to say they are wrong?


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> OK so you are saying that he has no control over it and if you had said no he would have cheated?


Lots of couples have sexual incompatibility and it is often the source of friction in the marriage and cheating. We should praise this couple for discussing their desires before hand and being in agreement prior to getting married. They did it exactly the right way.




Diana7 said:


> If any man asked me to be encased in plaster or tied up and suspended from a ceiling I I would have run a mile. I see things like that as very abusive and deranged. I would not trust a man who wanted to cause harm in those sorts if ways.


Again, that is your choice. @Donna123 had that discussion prior to getting married and was good with it. Had she not been, she would have went her own way. They are in a 25 year monogamous marriage between what appears to be two sexually satisfied people.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> If any man asked me to be encased in plaster or tied up and suspended from a ceiling I I would have run a mile. I see things like that as very abusive and deranged. I would not trust a man who wanted to cause harm in those sorts if ways.


But that's you.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Did I miss somewhere where kids are mentioned?


Nope, you didn't miss anything. This has never been an issue. I don't do anything around my stepkids or our grandkids. A few times with the 'full term' casts, but that was easily explainable. I don't see them one weekend in a cast, the next without, and the following in a different cast or anything like that. They are not exposed to our fetish


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Donna123 said:


> Nope, you didn't miss anything. This has never been an issue. I don't do anything around my stepkids or our grandkids. A few times with the 'full term' casts, but that was easily explainable. I don't see them one weekend in a cast, the next without, and the following in a different cast or anything like that. They are not exposed to our fetish


That's what I was thinking, that you're a responsible person. 🙂


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> A lot of folks, guys and gals both do like different levels of bondage. One if the more common kinks in the milder forms.
> 
> It might be a challenge to find any happy sex life ltr couple that hasn't time to time enjoyed bondage play now and then. Not everyone but any couple in a happy M with a happy sex life has experimented with this and that. Perfectly normal, perfectly fine most definitely.


Of course there are couples who don't tie each other up. Plus we are talking about the more extreme examples here, such as being encased from chest to toes in plaster! Or tied up and hung from the ceiling. The stuff of most people's nightmare's. The sort of thing a deranged serial killer may do.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Donna123,

One thing you need to keep in mind as you get older is that being immobilized by a cast for some period of time can cause a blood clot, deep vein thrombosis, especially in the legs. If you don't know what that is, look it up.

I ended up with one of them in 2016 just from being confined to a hospital bed for about 6 days. It broke loose and ended up in my lungs. I've been on oxygen now since 2016 because of this. The clots can also end up in the heart and cause heart attacks.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Your husband must go ballistic when he sees pictures of mummies. I'm thinking he'd really get off to Egyptian documentaries.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Did I miss somewhere where kids are mentioned?


It's in the original post. She hasn't had any with him but he already has some and now has grandchildren they see.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Donna123,
> 
> One thing you need to keep in mind as you get older is that being immobilized by a cast for some period of time can cause a blood clot, deep vein thrombosis, especially in the legs. If you don't know what that is, look it up.
> 
> I ended up with one of them in 2016 just from being confined to a hospital bed for about 6 days. It broke loose and ended up in my lungs. I've been on oxygen now since 2016 because of this. The clots can also end up in the heart and cause heart attacks.


I got a clot after 3 days in hospital!


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Not everyone but any couple in a happy M with a happy sex life has experimented with this and that.


This is a little contradictory. There are many, many couples in happy marriages with happy sex lives who have never experimented with any form of bdsm.

I don't know what the OP is hoping to get out of this thread. I can only recommend she have a canned response ready in event any of the family members stumble across her pics on the 'net.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I hadn't ever heard of this, so I did a quick lookup:








What a Cast Fetish Is All About


Think toes, bondage, and helping people in casts do their household chores.




www.vice.com





I DO think it's great that you and your husband communicate well enough, even before your marriage, to talk about this stuff, and also great that YOU can support him in this realizing how deeply he needed to have this in his life.

Is it mainstream? No, but who cares as long as you are not hurt by this. The online pics COULD be and issue, but I guess you have come to terms with that.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Donna123 said:


> Nope, you didn't miss anything. This has never been an issue. I don't do anything around my stepkids or our grandkids. A few times with the 'full term' casts, but that was easily explainable. I don't see them one weekend in a cast, the next without, and the following in a different cast or anything like that. They are not exposed to our fetish


At the risk of being deleted, I just want to say that you are far more patient than I would be. You were beat up pretty badly by judgy people on this thread and hung in there. I do agree about taking the pictures down on this site, they take anonymity pretty seriously, and that's for your protection. But it's good that you shared and I hope at least some of us made you feel welcome and able to express yourself. Sometimes it's nice just to talk about your stuff; you don't really need/want to "fix" it, just express it. You weathered their rather vicious attacks with a lot of grace. And controversial topics like this can really illustrate who you should put on "ignore."

Seems like it's pretty much over for this thread, that's the only reason I feel comfortable posting on it, and I hope you see it before it's taken down. I also hope you start others. I think being able to talk about your kinks is healthy. It can also help people understand the variation in kinks and fetishes, and maybe someone (definitely not others) feel a little less shame over having specific desires/preferences/interests.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@Donna123,

Have there ever been times when you felt bothered by this or resentful in any way? I so, how did that go?


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

If I had to be with a guy with a fetish, I’d rather this than a diaper fetish I suppose.

OP, Please be careful with this…you are getting older…muscles atrophy when in a cast and it’s harder to regain that muscle. Also…this type of inactivity can weaken bones and bones weaken as we age. Lastly, putting a cast on incorrectly can cause tendon or ligament problems.

I hope you have a safe word that he respects and honors.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Blondilocks said:


> This is a little contradictory. There are many, many couples in happy marriages with happy sex lives who have never experimented with any form of bdsm.
> 
> I don't know what the OP is hoping to get out of this thread. I can only recommend she have a canned response ready in event any of the family members stumble across her pics on the 'net.


I didn't say bdsm, I said bondage.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I didn't say bdsm, I said bondage.


Bondage is, of course, one type of BDSM! that is what the "B" stands for.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> A lot of folks, guys and gals both do like different levels of bondage. One if the more common kinks in the milder forms.


just take a belt, wrap it around a woman's hands behind her back, and then have normal sex with her. that, although simple, is a form of bondage. AND it drives some women WILD! i suppose it is the fact that she is "trapped" and the man can do with her as he wishes, and she must comply (well, at least as a role play, she can always kick him in the nutz if it gets out of hand....)


----------



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

its not too late to get some stocking stuffers for Christmas....



















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www.amazon.com


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Talker67 said:


> just take a belt, wrap it around a woman's hands behind her back, and then have normal sex with her. that, although simple, is a form of bondage. AND it drives some women WILD! i suppose it is the fact that she is "trapped" and the man can do with her as he wishes, and she must comply (well, at least as a role play, she can always kick him in the nutz if it gets out of hand....)


That's what I'm saying. Some forms of, call it kink, are very common and some here may not be admitting that.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Talker67 said:


> just take a belt, wrap it around a woman's hands behind her back, and then have normal sex with her. that, although simple, is a form of bondage. AND it drives some women WILD! i suppose it is the fact that she is "trapped" and the man can do with her as he wishes, and she must comply (well, at least as a role play, she can always kick him in the nutz if it gets out of hand....)


How you got to "kick him in the nuts" though is a mystery 🙄🙄🙄🙄


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I didn't say bdsm, I said bondage.


Same applies though surely. I do think it's odd when people who include something in their sex life assume everyone else does the same.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> just take a belt, wrap it around a woman's hands behind her back, and then have normal sex with her. that, although simple, is a form of bondage. AND it drives some women WILD! i suppose it is the fact that she is "trapped" and the man can do with her as he wishes, and she must comply (well, at least as a role play, she can always kick him in the nutz if it gets out of hand....)


For other women it's the stuff of nightmares to have a man tie her up so she is helpless and can't defend herself. Also concerning to some women that a man would need to tie a woman up to be turned on.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

TexasMom1216 said:


> At the risk of being deleted, I just want to say that you are far more patient than I would be. You were beat up pretty badly by judgy people on this thread and hung in there. I do agree about taking the pictures down on this site, they take anonymity pretty seriously, and that's for your protection. But it's good that you shared and I hope at least some of us made you feel welcome and able to express yourself. Sometimes it's nice just to talk about your stuff; you don't really need/want to "fix" it, just express it. You weathered their rather vicious attacks with a lot of grace. And controversial topics like this can really illustrate who you should put on "ignore."
> 
> Seems like it's pretty much over for this thread, that's the only reason I feel comfortable posting on it, and I hope you see it before it's taken down. I also hope you start others. I think being able to talk about your kinks is healthy. It can also help people understand the variation in kinks and fetishes, and maybe someone (definitely not others) feel a little less shame over having specific desires/preferences/interests.


Which vicious attacks were these? I didn't read any. 
Some of us see it as dangerous and concerning health wise and also deceptive pretending to people that you have an injury you dont have.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> Same applies though surely. I do think it's odd when people who include something in their sex life assume everyone else does the same.


No, it's not BDSM is bondage, dominant and sadomasochistic all together. 

Bondage is about restraints, in simplist form could be a pair of furry handcuffs or tied hands, similar. Not with the DSM part.

There's a huge difference.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I s


Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> No, it's not BDSM is bondage, dominant and sadomasochistic all together.
> 
> Bondage is about restraints, in simplist form could be a pair of furry handcuffs or tied hands, similar. Not with the DSM part.
> 
> There's a huge difference.


I see it as quite sadistic to want to bind or tie another person up.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> How you got to "kick him in the nuts" though is a mystery 🙄🙄🙄🙄


assuming you did not tie up her feet too....

we are talking LIGHT BONDAGE here!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> For other women it's the stuff of nightmares to have a man tie her up so she is helpless and can't defend herself. Also concerning to some women that a man would need to tie a woman up to be turned on.


well, you, personally would not enjoy that, obviously.

some women love it. Some women love anal sex, because it is so degrading to them.

there are a very wide range of kinks out there. If NONE of them interest you, then just avoid them religiously.

but if SOME might entice you (while others would repulse you), wouldn't it make sense to figure out what those are, try them, and see if you just had the best sex of your life?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

sez here 75% of people have at least one sexual fetish.









How Many People Have A Sexual Fetish? It's More Common Than You Think, But It's Still Stigmatized


How common is it it to have a sexual fetish? More than you think, actually. According to a new survey from erotic retailer Ann Summers, it's actually the norm. The survey looked at 2,300 people living in the UK and the amount of the kink-lovers may…




www.bustle.com





no way to tell if that is an accurate number or not (the sample audience of the poll might be skewed), but it certainly seems to be a mainstream sort of thing


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> For other women it's the stuff of nightmares to have a man tie her up so she is helpless and can't defend herself. Also concerning to some women that a man would need to tie a woman up to be turned on.


And those women shouldn't get involved with someone that is into that kind of thing. My wife has a really bad fear of being trapped. It has taken 30+ years for her to not feel trapped if I hold her hands above her head during sex. She would totally freak out if I tried to tie her up. That fact doesn't stop other people from enjoying it. Maybe even a little bit of fear adds to the excitement. If both partners are consenting adults why would we condemn them? This is a committed, monogamous marriage with two people that discussed sexual compatibility prior to marriage. Why are some people giving them a hard time?


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Literally, everyone with an irrational fear thinks their fear . . . is rational.
Xenophobia is rampant.
Bondage, it sure sells well for total evil <smirk> Honestly high heels are bondage. Gotta start somewhere.
Mrs. Nail is prone to claustrophobia. She has difficulty with sleeping bags, and insists on sleeping with a fan on.
For the record sadism is the cultivation and enjoyment of others pain. Every bully is a sadist.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Talker67 said:


> Some women love anal sex, because it is so degrading to them


There are women who like this because it just feels good and has nothing to do with feeling degraded also!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> well, you, personally would not enjoy that, obviously.
> 
> some women love it. Some women love anal sex, because it is so degrading to them.
> 
> ...


We don't need to treat each other in that way to have great sex. 
I know what is appealing to me and what isnt without needing to try it.

It's sad that some women feel they need to be degraded to have/enjoy sex. 
I wonder what happened to them to cause that damage?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

jlg07 said:


> There are women who like this because it just feels good and has nothing to do with feeling degraded also!


I can't understand how something so physically painful can be enjoyable. Unless she is a masochist.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> I can't understand how something so physically painful can be enjoyable. Unless she is a masochist.


What makes you think it is so physically painful?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

BigDaddyNY said:


> What makes you think it is so physically painful?


Having had pessaries inserted before my labours and after ops, which are far smaller, I know. The muscles arent designed for anything to be inserted, but to expel waste. 
Thankfully Mr D isn't interested.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> sez here 75% of people have at least one sexual fetish.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Was that Ann summers customers? If so may not be a fair representation of everyone.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Having had pessaries inserted before my labours and after ops, which are far smaller, I know. The muscles arent designed for anything to be inserted, but to expel waste.
> Thankfully Mr D isn't interested.


Millions of gay men and probably millions of women would disagree.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> I can't understand how something so physically painful can be enjoyable. Unless she is a masochist.


I hate to say this but there are women in the world that anal sex is NOT so physically painful -- but actually VERY enjoyable.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> @Donna123,
> 
> Have there ever been times when you felt bothered by this or resentful in any way? I so, how did that go?


Tha k you for your concerns, such as about blood clots. We are very careful and follow all real medical guidelines like recommended applications and removals, checking circulation, etc

As far as removal, there was a post earlier about someone getting cut. I’m surprised by that, the specialized saw doesn’t actually spin, it vibrates to cut the hard cast and not skin. A mistake must have been made

I have felt negative at times, brought up concerns and they were discussed and resolved appropriately.

Examples are asking for my face to be blurred on a few pictures before I was OK with him sharing them, saying that I preferred not to go out in public in a particular cast even after we planned to because I didn’t feel comfortable being seen like that at that particular time/ situation. He listened and I was made to feel comfortable before we proceeded. Those aren’t the only times, but good examples


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BigDaddyNY said:


> And those women shouldn't get involved with someone that is into that kind of thing. My wife has a really bad fear of being trapped. It has taken 30+ years for her to not feel trapped if I hold her hands above her head during sex. She would totally freak out if I tried to tie her up. That fact doesn't stop other people from enjoying it. Maybe even a little bit of fear adds to the excitement. If both partners are consenting adults why would we condemn them? This is a committed, monogamous marriage with two people that discussed sexual compatibility prior to marriage. *Why are some people giving them a hard time?*


No one is giving 'them' a hard time. Some are expressing their own feelings about the cast fetish and other acts that they find scary. This is a discussion. In a discussion people are free to express their own view points. That's the point of a discussion after all.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> No one is giving 'them' a hard time. Some are expressing their own feelings about the cast fetish and other acts that they find scary. This is a discussion. In a discussion people are free to express their own view points. That's the point of a discussion after all.


Good points. It just seemed to me that quite a few people have been telling her she is wrong for being okay with and participating in this fetish. But I agree, all points of view should be part of the discussion.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> And those women shouldn't get involved with someone that is into that kind of thing. My wife has a really bad fear of being trapped. It has taken 30+ years for her to not feel trapped if I hold her hands above her head during sex. She would totally freak out if I tried to tie her up. That fact doesn't stop other people from enjoying it. Maybe even a little bit of fear adds to the excitement. If both partners are consenting adults why would we condemn them? This is a committed, monogamous marriage with two people that discussed sexual compatibility prior to marriage. Why are some people giving them a hard time?


So for 30 years you hold her hands above her head even though she really hated it? I don't think that's a nice response to someone's fear. I know your intention was you're probably trying to help her overcome it but if it takes 30 years then that was 30 years of triggering fear and feeling trapped.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> So for 30 years you hold her hands above her head even though she really hated it? I don't think that's a nice response to someone's fear. I know your intention was you're probably trying to help her overcome it but if it takes 30 years then that was 30 years of triggering fear and feeling trapped.


No, absolutely not. Sorry, you completely misunderstood what I was trying to say. I probably did a poor job of it. I would never torture her like that. Whenever I've done something she doesn't like and she expresses that feeling I would stop. I haven't been torturing her for 30+ year by constantly trying to hold her hands above her head. What I was attempting to say is that after 30 years she, on her own, has decided she no longer has a fear that I'm pinning her down and is comfortable with me holding her hands down like that during sex. Yes, I tried it in the past, but she didn't like it, so I would stop. She was actually the one that finally brought that into our sex life. I would have to get rather graphic to describe it in full, but it just happened rather organically one day while playing with different positions and for whatever reason it really turned her on and now we do it whenever the mood strikes us. 

Let me be clear, I do not pressure my wife to do something sexual she doesn't want to do. We are very open with what we like and don't like and we respect each other deeply. She has always been very generous in trying things she wasn't too sure about. Some work out and some don't. I may bring back up something that she hasn't had an interest in previously just to see if anything has changed. Again, some times yes, some times no. No means we move on. I have no reason to keep pushing for something she doesn't want. The yes list is a lot longer than the no list.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Good points. It just seemed to me that quite a few people have been telling her she is wrong for being okay with and participating in this fetish. But I agree, all points of view should be part of the discussion.


Few if anyone has told her that she is wrong. Instead, we have expressed our personal reaction to the idea of being involved in the fetish and similar ones. Of course, then someone replies and tells them that they are wrong and then round and round they go.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

BigDaddyNY said:


> No, absolutely not. Sorry, you completely misunderstood what I was trying to say. I probably did a poor job of it. I would never torture her like that. Whenever I've done something she doesn't like and she expresses that feeling I would stop. I haven't been torturing her for 30+ year by constantly trying to hold her hands above her head. What I was attempting to say is that after 30 years she, on her own, has decided she no longer has a fear that I'm pinning her down and is comfortable with me holding her hands down like that during sex. Yes, I tried it in the past, but she didn't like it, so I would stop. She was actually the one that finally brought that into our sex life. I would have to get rather graphic to describe it in full, but it just happened rather organically one day while playing with different positions and for whatever reason it really turned her on and now we do it whenever the mood strikes us.
> 
> Let me be clear, I do not pressure my wife to do something sexual she doesn't want to do. We are very open with what we like and don't like and we respect each other deeply. She has always been very generous in trying things she wasn't too sure about. Some work out and some don't. I may bring back up something that she hasn't had an interest in previously just to see if anything has changed. Again, some times yes, some times no. No means we move on. I have no reason to keep pushing for something she doesn't want. The yes list is a lot longer than the no list.


Thanks for clarifying. I was having trouble believing you would do that, for what it's worth.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EleGirl said:


> Few if anyone has told her that she is wrong. Instead, we have expressed our personal reaction to the idea of being involved in the fetish and similar ones. Of course, then someone replies and tells them that they are wrong and then round and round they go.


When I finally reared up was when she said they have limits because to me it's ludicrous that there's limits given how long this has been going on and how many casts. I'm just trying to give her a outside perspective. And also her posting all those photos is about something I think that cause more of criticism than anything. I think it caused everyone to question the motive.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> I s
> I see it as quite sadistic to want to bind or tie another person up.


But you surely must understand that's YOUR interpretation. If a woman wants to be tied up and be ravished wantonly and her partner agrees to participate, he is supporting her desire.

And this isn't super uncommon for some women's sexual appetite. 

Remember, your opinion isn't the only point of view or defined as the ine and only correct perspective. 

That's why there is chocolate, vanilla, strawberry and neapolitan ice cream flavors. Plus the myriad of other flavors.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> Same applies though surely. I do think it's odd when people who include something in their sex life assume everyone else does the same.


Why would you think folks here are assuming they have the one and only correct view, from this thread?

Except you I guess. Surely you don't think you have the one and only only approved way to have sex as the example others must follow?

There's a good cross section if yes and now's, which is representative of folks in general.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Same applies though surely. I do think it's odd when people who include something in their sex life assume everyone else does the same.


That's them trying to brainwash women into thinking that everyone else does it so they have to too.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

DownByTheRiver said:


> That's them trying to brainwash women into thinking that everyone else does it so they have to too.


I'm not seeing that here, but maybe it's a hidden message somewhere 😮😮.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> In a discussion people are free to express their own view points. That's the point of a discussion after all.


One of the things that gets me about this thread is that the OP stated that if she didn't allow her husband to express his fetish in the marriage that he would have looked for another way to express it which could have included finding someone else. 

You also had to look up the definition of a fetish. One of my understandings of a fetish is that is a persistent attribute to someone's personality that associates some object of obsession that is strongly linked to someone's ability to become aroused. So for example someone with a foot fetish would need thematic material related to feet in order to achieve a very strong arousal.

I've often been puzzled about women that complain that many men often seem to be unable to masturbate without porn. Perhaps these are men unable to express a fetish within the context of their marriages and seek it out in porn as a discrete outlet. Meanwhile sexual activity in the marriage diminishes perhaps because of the inability for a fetish to be expressed which causes arousal difficulties.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

badsanta said:


> One of the things that gets me about this thread is that the OP stated that if she didn't allow her husband to express his fetish in the marriage that he would have looked for another way to express it which could have included finding someone else.
> 
> You also had to look up the definition of a fetish. One of my understandings of a fetish is that is a persistent attribute to someone's personality that associates some object of obsession that is strongly linked to someone's ability to become aroused. So for example someone with a foot fetish would need thematic material related to feet in order to achieve a very strong arousal.
> 
> I've often been puzzled about women that complain that many men often seem to be unable to masturbate without porn. Perhaps these are men unable to express a fetish within the context of their marriages and seek it out in porn as a discrete outlet. Meanwhile sexual activity in the marriage diminishes perhaps because of the inability for a fetish to be expressed which causes arousal difficulties.


Damn, now things are getting technical 😮😮😮


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> Same applies though surely. I do think it's odd when people who include something in their sex life assume everyone else does the same.


Its just as odd to me that people who don’t include something think it’s wrong for others to include it. As long as everything is consensual have at it is my opinion.


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

Donna123 said:


> Limits are important and building trust with your partner to stay within them allows for giving up control in a safe way. He's not forcing me to be helpless against my will. I'm giving up control to him willingly for his pleasure that give me satisfaction in turn to be the one pleasing him


Well, except for some of the potential for injury--even if you take all medical precautions--I don't see a problem with it. In fact, I think he's lucky to have found someone who accommodates him, and that you feel safe. And even if it's not your fetish, at some level you are getting gratification as well because you enjoy doing things for him.

I think it's fine; as someone who has seen medical complications as I work with nurses and physicians on a daily basis, I would caution you that bad things/injuries can still occur no matter how careful you are being. Other than that, I don't have a problem with it, and I part company with those posters who are trying to assign a sinister or demeaning aspect to this without any other evidence.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

notmyjamie said:


> As long as everything is consensual have at it is my opinion.


Yes, it's consensual, but the OP doesn't seem to be over the moon about it... she does it because she is insecure, and to please her husband and not to lose him, otherwise I guess she wouldn't do it. IMO - the husband is an abuser because he is exploiting his wife's insecurities to get what _he_ wants, inflicting discomfort and pain.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

In Absentia said:


> Yes, it's consensual, but the OP doesn't seem to be over the moon about it... she does it because she is insecure, and to please her husband and not to lose him, otherwise I guess she wouldn't do it. IMO - the husband is an abuser because he is exploiting his wife's insecurities to get what _he_ wants, inflicting discomfort and pain.


I wasn’t really talking about the OP, just more in general.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

notmyjamie said:


> I wasn’t really talking about the OP, just more in general.


Fair enough... I misunderstood, then...


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

jlg07 said:


> I hate to say this but there are women in the world that anal sex is NOT so physically painful -- but actually VERY enjoyable.


one good rule of thumb....if your partner wants to experiment with some new type of sex, try it two times. the first time, it will be pretty shocking, and you will not be able to form a fair opinion of it. If the 2nd time you try it, you like it...you put it into your bag of tricks for future reference,

if after 2 times you still do not like it, then that is that, it is NOT a fetish for you!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

BigDaddyNY said:


> What makes you think it is so physically painful?


Likely, never having tried it.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

badsanta said:


> One of the things that gets me about this thread is that the OP stated that *if she didn't allow her husband to express his fetish in the marriage that he would have looked for another way to express it which could have included finding someone else.*


i wonder that too. 
and also wonder if that is really a bad thing.

lets say you are happily married for many years. Your spouse suddenly has an overwhelming desire to do some new kinky thing, like this cast thing. Possibly they had this fetish and fantasized about it for decades, and finally have the nerve to talk about it.

would it be OK to give them permission to find a person to put casts on? Imagine he found (say on a fetish website) some woman who wanted to try it, and was local. they would be doing this while both were fully clothed. Would it be OK for him to put casts on this woman, but then come back to you and have wild sex because he was so turned on? You would get the enjoyment of the wild monkey sex, without having to endure getting the casts put on.

you could have them do this casting thing in your house, where you could keep an eye on them too. 

would that for sure be cheating on his part, or a technical compromise that works for all three people involved?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Talker67 said:


> lets say you are happily married for many years. Your spouse suddenly has an overwhelming desire to do some new kinky thing, like this cast thing. Possibly they had this fetish and fantasized about it for decades, and finally have the nerve to talk about it.


From what I understand about fetishes is that it is a persistent attribute of someone's sexuality. Meaning that it has always been there are always will be since becoming an adult. In my opinion I think fetishes can become very pronounced and disruptive or tamed into something rather mild depending on shame and guilt. 

A partner that has wanted something for decades that never speaks up about it is going to be very problematic! In the OP's case her husband was up front, but perhaps at the expense of learning to be up front after it caused a previous relationship to fail. 

I wonder if he has ever asked for her to put a cast on him to experience role reversal or if this only works one way?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

BigDaddyNY said:


> Millions of gay men and probably millions of women would disagree.


They are free to disagree, but the anus isn't designed for sex. That's why some end up with damage and incontinence.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> Likely, never having tried it.


Thankfully Mr D isn't into wanting to cause me pain or discomfort. Nor me him.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> i wonder that too.
> and also wonder if that is really a bad thing.
> 
> lets say you are happily married for many years. Your spouse suddenly has an overwhelming desire to do some new kinky thing, like this cast thing. Possibly they had this fetish and fantasized about it for decades, and finally have the nerve to talk about it.
> ...


Cheating. You are bringing another person into your sex life.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

People here seem to think that if we have a fetish that our spouse can't share, we will be forced into seeking it elsewhere. That's no different from normal cheating.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Talker67 said:


> Likely, never having tried it.


Properly planned when all are squeaky clean and hardwood floors, with correct lube a finger at the right time for her is something a lot of women like a lot, as a time to time thing.

Not you, but you can't paint all with your brush.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> i wonder that too.
> and also wonder if that is really a bad thing.
> 
> lets say you are happily married for many years. Your spouse suddenly has an overwhelming desire to do some new kinky thing, like this cast thing. Possibly they had this fetish and fantasized about it for decades, and finally have the nerve to talk about it.
> ...


When I was first with my now husband, I had two of his friends tell me this same thing about strip clubs. "He goes, he gets all excited, then comes home to you all turned on." They kept talking about it as though it were this great thing that I should be grateful for. So he goes out, sees women he actually finds attractive, comes home, turns off all the lights and uses my body for a warm, wet hole while he fantasizes that I am anyone else. Incidentally, both those men are now divorced because they were of course cheating on their wives. With strippers. 

Now, if she agreed to it (which in the OP's case she likely would not, because she gets a lot of satisfaction in watching him be turned on) then to my mind it's not cheating, because in my opinion the worst part about the cheating isn't the sex, it's the lying. Infidelity to me is far more an issue of trust than sex, but that's just me, not everyone views it that way.

@Donna123 has been clear that her husband isn't hurting her. It's a fetish he has, expressed voluntarily within his marriage, discussed prior to marriage. There certainly may be instances of fetishes within marriages that are abusive, but that is not the case here.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> They are free to disagree, but the anus isn't designed for sex. That's why some end up with damage and incontinence.


The vagina is "designed" for sex and childbirth, yet some end up with damage and incontinence. Does that mean it should be avoided too?


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Talker67 said:


> one good rule of thumb....if your partner wants to experiment with some new type of sex, try it two times. the first time, it will be pretty shocking, and you will not be able to form a fair opinion of it. If the 2nd time you try it, you like it...you put it into your bag of tricks for future reference,
> 
> if after 2 times you still do not like it, then that is that, it is NOT a fetish for you!


Absolutely.


BigDaddyNY said:


> The vagina is "designed" for sex and childbirth, yet some end up with damage and incontinence. Does that mean it should be avoided too?


Things to ponder, Big Daddy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BigDaddyNY said:


> The vagina is "designed" for sex and childbirth, yet some end up with damage and incontinence. Does that mean it should be avoided too?


Vaginas do not get incontinence as that refers to the lack of voluntary control over urination or defecation. Last time I checked the vagina is not involved in those things. Generally, it's not all that hard to live with a damaged vagina.

However, for those who live with damage from anal sex can be very bad. Once this damage occurs, anal sex should be avoided. We had some threads here on TAM talking about this some time ago. There were many women on here who experienced things like anal fissures, hemorrhoids, extreme pain, incontinence, etc. from anal sex. Anal sex can be quite pleasurable until it isn't. And once damage occurs most people refuse to engage in it anymore, at least on the receiving end.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Vaginas do not get incontinence as that refers to the lack of voluntary control over urination or defecation. Last time I checked the vagina is not involved in those things. Generally, it's not all that hard to live with a damaged vagina.
> 
> However, for those who live with damage from anal sex can be very bad. Once this damage occurs, anal sex should be avoided. We had some threads here on TAM talking about this some time ago. There were many women on here who experienced things like anal fissures, hemorrhoids, extreme pain, incontinence, etc. from anal sex. Anal sex can be quite pleasurable until it isn't. And once damage occurs most people refuse to engage in it anymore, at least on the receiving end.


like i said, try it. if possible try it twice, after that you can decide


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