# Gaslighting: how do I tell him I want a divorce



## Cestmoi (Jan 2, 2012)

Been married for 27 years and through TAM realised my husband used gaslighting to confuse me about his EA's (cell numbers, e-mails, programs like Skype etc) and about spending of money on business deals. Left him two years ago with a letter of an attorney informing him that I want a divorce. After separation (I just took off with one suitcase one morning-because I knew I would not be able to leave him, because he would convince me to stay) We tried MC and through written communication (between him and me) tried to solve some issues (with regards to why I left) I would however ask him questions and he avoided answers by talking around my questions and using gaslighting to get out of explaining things. So by means of TAM I realised it was gaslighting. Now: I do want a divorce and not know HOW to inform him. He stll believes we can make it work,even after 2 years of separation. I am unable to tell him in person. I feel sorry for him and hate to do this to him(because he would never be able to understand WHY I want a D)and still trying to get over my feelings of guilt (Christian upbringing)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Why can't you tell him in person? 

It sounds like you have been separated 2 years now and your attorney sent a letter saying you wanted a divorce...di dyou never follow up on that? 

Just tell him straight up you want a divorce. File for divorce and be done.

No sense in wasting 2 more years.


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## Lovebug501 (Aug 30, 2011)

I'd either write him a letter [if that is how you are continuing to communicate] and tell him that you are proceeding with the divorce or simply have him served with divorce papers.

As far as Christian upbringing... infidelity is one of the acceptable reasons (to God) to divorce your spouse.


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