# I'm so angry right now...



## tattooedlady79 (Oct 29, 2012)

I'm so angry at my husband right now and I don't know what to do with it. I still don't get how it went from nothing to something huge. Here's what happened: He was looking at a buying website and was asking me about it. So I told him what I knew. He then gets mad and says, " FINE! I'll figure it out myself!" It really hurt my feelings. I was just trying to help. I went and told him he hurt me, but of course as usual it's always my fault. He used the " I'm sorry but...." and then turns it around to where I was being a ***** when I tried to help him. With that to me he might as well not say sorry at all. You don't put the word " but " at the end of an apology! The argument went from how he was treating me to arguing over the apology. By the end of it, I screamed, " I hate you!" I don't hate him. I'm just angry with him on so many levels. I have Fibromyalgia and arthritis really bad, but he won't help me with the house. Our finances are slowly getting out of the hole but it's been 3 years of hard times. Our sex life is non existent..not because of my lack of interest. Am I overreacting? I don't know what to do. I just know I'm tired of being angry.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

It sounds like he is engaging in the time-honoured tradition of crazy-making. That is, he is having issues with himself so he provokes you deliberately in order to project his crazy feeling onto you. After you flip out he can console himself in the 'knowledge' that the problems in your relationship must be due to you, not him (or shared) since you 'flipped out' over a simple exchange of question and answer. Yes, you have been had. Recognize this situation and learn to back away from it. You can engage in the time-honoured tradition of 'needing' to suddenly clean the bathroom, or go for a walk. Sorry this happened to you. Like it or not, once you have flipped out you can't take it back. So for this round, you got trumped. But you can resolve in the future to back away from provocation. He may be very well practiced at it by this point. If people have been living together for so long, it's obvious he should know your trigger buttons. He can easily choose to avoid them as to hit them. He chooses to hit them. Disengage mentally and back away politely in future. You will then see the crazy-making behavior for what it is. That's how it went from 'nothing' to 'huge'. Because he was playing you, and doing it well.


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