# Any suggestions to find out what's going on?



## Melhub (Nov 12, 2013)

I've noticed recently a change in my wife's behavior. She went off on an international holiday (to visit family) on her own for the first time ever about a month ago and she's becoming more secretive about her phone / iPad (which I just bought for her birthday)

I am a lurker here for the most part, taking some solace in the fact that I am not alone in some of my struggles and have put myself back in my own box for some things I've been wrong on.

Now I'm coming out of my shell to ask if anyone has any ideas how I could recover deleted Gmail (she has emptied her trash - which is new) or how I get to an iPad back to restore and if that would include any Gmail deleted items?

I sense that she's hiding something from me (and this would not be the first time) and I want to figure out what it is...

Yes - maybe I am being paranoid or over-stepping my boundaries, but I need to know what's going on.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I presume you looked in the deleted folder in gmail?

Was it only deleted on her cell phone? If so, its probably still in her on-line gmail account.

Take a look at this thread:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html


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## Melhub (Nov 12, 2013)

Thanks - yes. She has purged her deleted items. She has never had the knowledge to do that before, so it "feels" deliberate, hence my suspicion.

I just took a look at her history and it looks to have been selectively cleaned. Very odd...


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Melhub said:


> Thanks - yes. She has purged her deleted items. She has never had the knowledge to do that before, so it "feels" deliberate, hence my suspicion.
> 
> I just took a look at her history and it looks to have been selectively cleaned. Very odd...


It's not at all likely that you're going to be able to retrieve the deleted e-mails.

I'll assume -- based on the post quoted above -- that you have the password for her Gmail account. If this is correct, you could configure an e-mail client on a Mac or PC to download (but not move/delete) any e-mails sent/received. I'd recommend that you experiment w/ your own Gmail account (if you don't have one, open one) prior to using this approach w/ her account.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Gmail has a SENT folder? If your W is not that technical to delete emails and only recently discovered this function it is possible she is not aware of a SENT folder that contains her replies.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Does she back up the iPad to the home computer iTunes?


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