# Am I crazy? Please help.....especially women



## eagleben (Jul 29, 2012)

Hi, 
I posted here before and it got flagged. I will try to word things differently.....I was not trying to offend anyone! Where to begin.
Ok, I have been married 14 years. 10 years ago my wife and I were having a hard time. I was under a lot of pressure starting a new business among other things and a lot of times I would drink too much. My wife was at home. We had a 15 month old son and she stayed home with him. She was from Louisville and I was from Oklahoma. I met her in Louisville and after we got married we moved to Oklahoma. When we were having a hard time she went to Louisville to see some friends for a few days. About a week after she got home I had to go on a business trip. I was out drinking (on the business trip) and met a girl and cheated on my wife. I came home and my wife found out and I confessed the cheating. As soon as she found out about me cheating she went back to louisville. We were in a terrible place. After about 2 weeks I drove to Louisville and we made up. At the time she told me that she was at the mall during her stay in Louisville and ran into an old friend. A guy friend. And he had a guy with him that was an acquaintance of hers. She said she that the guy asked her if she would go see a movie and she did just as friends. She said that after the movie he tried to kiss her but she didnt let him. I tried to believe that nothing else happened and that I knew everything. We came home together and tried to rebuild. However, I always wondered if there was more that she wasn't telling me. Occasionally if we discussed things I would ask her if something else happened and she always reassured me that nothing did happen. But, recently I have really questioned this. And a few weeks ago she said that she needed to talk to me about it. She told me that she had been at home. During the days I worked and she stayed at home w our son. One day an old friend called her it was a guy friend. I knew they were friend when I met her and I didnt like it and I asked her not to see him or talk to him. So, for the first three years of our marriage she didnt talk to him. But, one day he called her while I was at work. She talked to him and he called back in a day or so or she called him back. She said that they were talking about mutual friends and she asked him about a specific guy. She called this guy and they started calling each other and talking while I was at work. She told me that on her first trip to Louisville that she stopped by this guys apartment and both guy friends were there. She said that they talked briefly then she left. She said she did not see them again on that trip. She said that when she got home she kept talking to this guy and that when she found out that I cheated she immediately went back to Louisville. She told me that she went to the movie with this guy and that they had kissed but nothing else happened. But after 2 days of us discussing this she said that they had gone to a couple of movies and out to eat and that they had made out several times. She said that they were kissing and she brought him into the bedroom where our 15 month old son was sleeping and that they kept making out. She said he tried to have sex with her. When I asked how. She said that he tried to push into her...... I said how could he try to push into you if you were dressed and she said that he took her pants and panties off and had his **** out and was pushing up into her. but, she said at that point she pushed him off and did not have sex with him. She admits to bringing him to the bedroom and making out and letting him undress her and she admits to spreading her legs for him. But, she said that when he started to push into her she stopped him and stood up and he left and she says that she has never had contact with him again. 
When I have asked her why this specific guy she has always said that he was just an acquaintance and that she thought he was nice. But, after questioning this she said that before her and I got married that she almost had sex with him. Again, she said that before we were married that this guy and her were making out and that he got her down to her panties and he had his **** out and was trying to have sex with her but she stopped him. I am so sorry for this jumbled story......! I hope it makes since to someone. The fact is that I really love my wife and she has been a good wife for the past 10 years. I want us to work!
However, I believed a lie for 10 years and now I am not sure that I can believe this story. I know that I was wrong in cheating on her. Absolutely. But, I confessed it admitted that I was to blame and I asked her forgiveness. At the time she was so angry at me but would not admit any wrong doing on her side and kept this story for over 10 years. Now, when she confessed it was still just another lie and another version. But, now that she told me this latest story she says that this is absolutely the truth. She has said how sorry that she is and that she loves me and wants us to work. I want to believe her and move on. Am I crazy. I know I deserve this because I cheated. Do I have a right to know? What should I do. If you have questions I can try to clarify..... Sorry for the way I wrote this. I'm kind of venting. But, I would like to know do you think that its possible for my wife to have done all of this and yet stopped him right before sex......? Thank you for taking the time to read this and give me advise. I appreciate it!


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

If you wish to stay in this marriage, perhaps you should start to look at it like your marriage didn't actually start until BOTH of you had come clean about the infidelity.
One thing is certain. Neither of you can change the past but you both can shape the future.


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## Twofaces (Dec 5, 2011)

You will never know the truth. Ever. Accept that as fact. And decide what you want to do from there.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Twofaces said:


> You will never know the truth. Ever. Accept that as fact. And decide what you want to do from there.


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## eagleben (Jul 29, 2012)

I have asked her if she would take a polygraph test and she has said that she would......!


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