# Its over for me. Shes still on the fence



## Soap (Nov 29, 2012)

Im in my late 20s and have decided on a divorce with my wife. No kids involved. The problem is that shes emotionally abusive and manipulative. Ive recently seen major emotional changes and horrible decision making on her end. The problem is that we still live together and i completely support her financially. On top of this she is still very possesive of me but has already gotten a new boyfriend which she has already brought to my apartment to meet me. No hard feelings except i havent even moved on yet i work out of town 80% of the year and dont really have time to date. Shes a part time mall worker and parties and bar hops. She flip flops on rushing right in to a new marriage with him while still wanting me in her life for financial support and because i was so close with her family ...then on the other hand she has suggested and open marriage. The first choice im ok with to an extent. I refuse to pay any bills besides the cell phone plan that we share and im giving her the car because she needs it more than me right now and i can afford another one. However i refuse to pay for a place that i dont live and where she is with another man. Concerning the open relationship, i could have been ok with it if the marriage had not been so hostile. She resented me for things outside of my control and did stuff behind my back that mutual friends are slowly starting to tell me. Im not the type to make quick quick emotional decisions and i know she depends on me greatly. However, i feel like i am enabling destructive behaviour and getting used.


----------



## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

So.

You wanted the divorce.

But think you have the right to decide if her 'rushed' marriage is okay or not?

And you call HER abusive and manipulative?

Stop being so concerned with her.

Do what you WANTED (get a divorce) and figure out how to split the legalities and move out.

Problem solved.

Unless of course, you need to keep an eye on her and make sure she's doing everything to your approval.


----------



## Soap (Nov 29, 2012)

First of all the divorce was a mutual decision. And Its not up to me to decide whether her new rushed marriage is okay or not ive given her all the freedom she needs. I never kept a close eye on her and have no intentions on keeping tabs on her when were divorced. However the lies and behind the back stuff im not okay with.

Secondly this sounds like a hostile reply dont bother commenting on this again unless i see different tone. Thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Soap said:


> First of all the divorce was a mutual decision. And Its not up to me to decide whether her new rushed marriage is okay or not ive given her all the freedom she needs. I never kept a close eye on her and have no intentions on keeping tabs on her when were divorced. However the lies and behind the back stuff im not okay with.
> 
> Secondly this sounds like a hostile reply dont bother commenting on this again unless i see different tone. Thanks
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Dude.

If you want a divorce.

Get it.

Stop worrying about what she is saying and doing.

"Flip flopping" etc.

It really is that simple.


----------



## Soap (Nov 29, 2012)

Its not that simple. Shes in a really bad place right now and depends on me for support. I cant just take it all away in an instant and then live with the feeling that i abandoned her.


----------



## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Soap said:


> Its not that simple. Shes in a really bad place right now and depends on me for support. I cant just take it all away in an instant and then live with the feeling that i abandoned her.


So you both mutually decided to divorce.

Okay, that's fine.

She now has a new boyfriend and you're okay with that.

Okay, that's fine.

Then why isn't HE supporting her?


----------



## Soap (Nov 29, 2012)

Hes got a prior rental agreement with a family member. And i gave her a deadline to move out when our lease expires or have him take over payments. Am i getting worked?


----------



## BigMac (Oct 29, 2012)

Soap said:


> Its not that simple. Shes in a really bad place right now and depends on me for support. I cant just take it all away in an instant and then live with the feeling that i abandoned her.



Do you listen to you self ?? 

Seriously !!

She wants to ride the posOM , live the single live , but you to pay the bills !!! 

C'mon man !


----------

