# My wife had a miscarriage follow up, she cheated, found out 72 hours ago, help me



## mike2012

I had to snoop on her Facebook cause I had suspicions and seen an email to a guy bout flirting and **** on kinky fetish website, checked the site out and made a fake name, took bout 5 hours but i found her profile and there were naked pics of her on it, there were two pics of her in MY livingroom with a man standing over her taking the shots, one pic with his fingers inside her, she is a SUB and I guess this guy was a DOM and according to the profile it said that he owned her. She knows I know, Im currently in the mountains with family, I wanted to kick her out, in fact I told her to go and she even packed but there's kids involved, she opened up some and explained the situation, she said they never had sex, it was kinky pics cause she likes photography and were both kinky, but the fact remains, there was a man in my home, my family knows, they think I'm divorcing her and I'm almost certain I am, she agreed to counselling and I told her to in pack and stay, winter is coming and the kids don't need getting screwed up, I might me catholic, and have a big heart, but I'm not a f--king moron. But then, I want my wife back, she fell from grace and I said I'd meet her half way, I canceled the Internet, told he to get rid of dog that gives me anxiety, she is to go on birth control cause the baby making is over, she sleeps either downstairs or in babies room, and we r separated as far as the world is concerned, I also made her sit her family down and tell them what she did. People, am I a big hearted moron, or in time do we have a chance, cause i worked hard for this life and I want my beautiful wife back, but If she don't kiss my ass and show me she gives a ****, the her and the my step kids leave, I divorce her, and I keep my house, cause she said they house is mine and was verbally agreed on, also she immediately gave me half of what was left to pay off the wedding and I closed the account out Friday afternoon, idk, GOD please send me some light
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## Shaggy

Common, they had sex. He had his fingers in her, and he was owning her. They had sex. 

I do think you need to kick his butt somewhat to show that he doesn't own anything. Most doms are pathetic wanna be bad boys who cave easily.`

As for your wife. Both you and she need to get tested for STDs because this may not be the first time she's done this.

consider DNA tests for kids

if she needs to be a sub, shouldn't she be subbing for her husband?


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## Riverside MFT

Do you want the marriage to work? Does she seem apologetic? Does she want the marriage to work?


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## Shaggy

Mike, 

I'm reread your other thread. Sorry man it turned out like this. I think if you look back to when she started smoking is when this affair might have begun. The OM might have encouraged it, along with the drinking.

How long has she been smoking again?


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## the guy

Mike,
Take a breath and remember nothing is final until you deside its final. My point is take the time to think and step back and never make split second disicions. Especially life changing choices that should be thought through.

Right now you have only seen the tip of the iceberg. There is more to come out and if your wife is forthcoming enough and want to help you heal she will tell you what you need to know...hopefully!

So with this additional information from your WW you can make a judgement call. Thats the thing here you need all the fact to see exactly were the both of you stand.

I'm a big believer in details for this reason. We need to have everything out on the table to make the best choice for our selfs and family.

I hope your W understandst this and is forthcoming enought to put everything on the table and learning from this in the hope of preventing it from happening again.

Its only been a few days there is alot more to look at. You may not understand it all but until its all out there and looked at you will be making blind choices that you may regret later. 

My best advise is to slow down and think everthing through, you have time. The main thing is that your W stop this behavior. If she can do that then you have something to work with. If she continues then it would be time to play hard ball and let her face the reality of the consequences of her actions.

Confussing, I know, but the ball is in her court.....she continues then she leaves, if she has remorse *then* you have the time to figure out what your next move is.

I hope this helps? I know this crap ain't easy, but it does get less painful with alot of time.

Good luck


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## RandomDude

I somehow doubt with her lack of apologiesm, justifications and futile defensiveness - that she's even worth the trouble of fixing. I would move on.


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## OliveAdventure

RandomDude said:


> I somehow doubt with her lack of apologiesm, justifications and futile defensiveness - that she's even worth the trouble of fixing. I would move on.


She sat down in front of the family and admitted what she did. 

THAT alone tells me she feels like **** and it could be she just doesn't want to get buried in legal fees, or she truelyis sorry for what she did and hopes everything he asks her to do and does do, shows him she is sorry. 

If you're going to make her jump through these hoops to show she's sorry, you better at least give her a light at the end of the tunnel.


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## Noel1987

you did a great job buddy but you mentioned that she agreed on counseling then why the divorce thing happened? because this will prick you like a needle all the time? I would say its 100% her mistake be strong bud GBU


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## shsa

Shaggy said:


> Common, they had sex. He had his fingers in her, and he was owning her. They had sex.
> 
> I do think you need to kick his butt somewhat to show that he doesn't own anything. Most doms are pathetic wanna be bad boys who cave easily.`
> 
> As for your wife. Both you and she need to get tested for STDs because this may not be the first time she's done this.
> 
> consider DNA tests for kids
> 
> if she needs to be a sub, shouldn't she be subbing for her husband?


Why would you want to kick the guys butt. It is the wifes' fault. The guy is not the one cheating. ( I mean he might be cheating but even if thats the case why do you care )

It is not the guys fault if the wife is a ****. If I was a member on an adult website and a girl comes to me saying "I want to have sex with you", I am not going to turn that down. 

If she is married its a problem between her husband and her.


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## Shaggy

shsa said:


> Why would you want to kick the guys butt. It is the wifes' fault. The guy is not the one cheating. ( I mean he might be cheating but even if thats the case why do you care )
> 
> It is not the guys fault if the wife is a ****. If I was a member on an adult website and a girl comes to me saying "I want to have sex with you", I am not going to turn that down.
> 
> If she is married its a problem between her husband and her.


A big part in ending affairs is to make it costly forthe AP to continue in it.

In this case, the OM was a actively working to make it happen, and turds like that need dealing with or they keep floating in the bowl.
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