# What age were you when....



## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

I was gonna put this in the parenting forums but felt I might get more responses here, this is a sex issue. However its not a marital one. 

Do you remember what age you were the first time you had sex? Or even started to experiment, maybe not even full blown intercourse, but just messin around. 

My son is almost 16, and I remember those raging hormone filled days and nights. However, I was actually around 18 before I had actual intercourse. I may have fooled around some around 16 or 17. I was a bit more shy than my son though. He is more out going and open than I was. I overheard him on the phone last night talking with his new girlfriend. And while I didn't try to evesdrop on his conversation, but in passing by I did hear a few things they were discussing, such as I heard him mention the word BJ! 

For some reason it just triggered me to, stop and think, ahhh yes, the hormonal teen years. However at the same time, it kind of bothered me in the sense that I feel his mother and I have tried to teach him about the birds and the bees, and I just hope if he were to make such a grown up decision to do things that he at least thinks about what he is doing and be safe. As a father, part of me knows that he is a hormonal teen who may try stuff, then the other part of me, kind of wishes he would wait. 

Anyway had to get that off my chest. So what age were you when you first had sex or experimented?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Deeeeeeeeeep Breath.......

When you hear a 16 year old boy talking about a BJ with his GF, remembering you did give him the birds and bees talk... Completely and utterly inadequate in today's YouTube easy access porn world.

Sit the boy down and give him a sex ED talk that actually explains HOW TO HAVE SATISFYING SEX WHILE PLEASURING A GIRL! Oh YES in today's world boys know about a female orgasm but they remain utterly clueless. Boys, nice boys that is, don't want to be considered totally inadequate in bed, neither do girls. But how does a kid ask:

"Uh Dad, I may be getting a BJ tonight and was wondering if there was anything specific I should do or not do?"

As a woman with DAUGHTERS... Here's the answer I hope you give....

"First thing, last thing and always... Cover it up! Wear a condom even for BJ's. STI's of the throat and mouth are almost more common than STI's in the genital area. Wear a condom. have you ever chewed on a rubber band? Every kid has... That's all it feels like in your mouth. Get unlubricated condoms for BJ and lubricated condom for PIV. 

"Getting a BJ while wearing a condom also allows you to ejaculate without worrying if your GF is going to freak about having semen in her mouth. Since the polite thing to do is to give a warning before you ejaculate, you should do this but remind her that since you're wearing a condom, she doesn't have to worry about semen. 

"Once you are married, you get to take the condom off, but not before then or both your mother and I will take away any and all electronic everything and send you to work on a chain gang! Condoms...always! We will keep you supplied with both lubricated and in lubricated.

"So, you are getting a BJ, but what does she get out of this? Lets talk about the art and delicate practice of cunillingus, shall we?"


How about it Fathers of sons? Do you have the above conversation when you hear your son talk about getting a BJ or do you simply puff out your chest and mime a high five to your lad?


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

31 the first time PIV happened.

Go ahead, start laughing now.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

A condom for a BJ??? ^^^

Might as well tell him to just masturbate instead. 


TS: Not much you can do, a 16 year old is by and large past the age and the years where proper education/instuitlunzation/environment can shape their opinions on a topic as personal as sex. If your child is not already the type to "wait for marriage" or "be safe" or "in love and stable before sex" chances are they are not going to magically learn it at this age. The window of opportunity (imo) for greatly influencing and properly molding a child to follow your principles is largely gone. 

All I would say is tell him to be safe


Oh and I was 17


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Well since the original question was what age...I will say I was around 15 when I started experimenting. I had intercourse on my 17th birthday! Happy birthday to me. :smthumbup: 

Trey, I get what you're saying. Since you and the wife have had the birds and the bees talk, and since you heard some of the conversation he had you could give him some reminders about things. I'm sure theres a way you could go about it without letting him know you heard some of his conversation. Nothing wrong with wanting your teens to be safe in case they did make that decision.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

16 for me, my bf was 15. OMG, we had no idea what we were doing. I probably didnt orgasm until I was around 20 I think. My sons lost thiers at 16 & 19.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Goldmember357 said:


> A condom for a BJ??? ^^^
> 
> Might as well tell him to just masturbate instead.
> 
> ...


So you're okay with the lad risking the spread of STI viruses into the mouths of his GF's?

And you think 16 is too old to ACTIVELY TEACH about safe and complimentary sex?

Oh Dear GOD!!!

View attachment 8178


Thou shalt NOT endanger the health of my daughter or I shall find you and smite you!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

13.


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

I can relate! My son is 15 and daughter 13! It kind of unnerves you but at the same time you know it may happen. 

For me, I was 16 when I started messin around with my b/f. I had sex for the first time when I was 17 on News Eve at a party! We tried to be careful and we used protection. I remember when I left that party, there was a part of me that was excited I had finally "done it", then there was another part of me that was thinking, I was on pins and needles until I started my period the next month! What a relief!


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I was 16 when I started experimenting but didn't have sex until 18. My husband had sex at 15.

My oldest is 13 and he still thinks girls are gross but I'm dreading this as well. 

I did a lot of stupid things and got lucky. My husband practiced safe sex I did not.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

And don't forget the plastic wrap for the cunnilingus. 

I was 16 the first time I had sex. Wish I would have had some talk about sex. Not just this is how a woman gets pregnant. I would have liked the basics of where when how why and the responsibility involved. I don't know if a kid will sit through all that. I think it's important because I would have thought of it later. It would have come up for me when thinking about sex. 

I was different in that I married and had children with my first.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

My middle daughter was in high school, I pulled her boy friend aside and have him the condom speech then gave him a box of 36 condoms. My daughter was embarrassed beyond belief, but at 23 now, she is quite proud her mother was the go to lady to learn exactly what safe sex is and exactly how to do it!

ETA: Plastic wrap was not something I knew about at the time, we talked about dental damns and where to get them. had I known about plastic wrap....I would have also supplied a box of Saran Wrap!

They were already having sex when I found out. That really upset me considering knowledge about safe sex was a required part of my job at the time!


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> My middle daughter was in high school, I pulled her boy friend aside and have him the condom speech then gave him a box of 36 condoms. My daughter was embarrassed beyond belief, but at 23 now, she is quite proud her mother was the go to lady to learn exactly what safe sex is and exactly how to do it!
> 
> ETA: Plastic wrap was not something I knew about at the time, we talked about dental damns and where to get them. had I known about plastic wrap....I would have also supplied a box of Saran Wrap!
> 
> They were already having sex when I found out. That really upset me considering knowledge about safe sex was a required part of my job at the time!



Good for you, I put condoms in my son's Christmas stockings, LOL. We are extremely open about sex in my house. I grew up in a household where no one would talk about it. I want my boys to be safe and I know they are. Hell, my son gave me some lube he got in a grab bag at a party he went to and it is the best stuff I have ever used.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Condoms in Christmas stockings! Love this!


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## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

trey69 said:


> So what age were you when you first had sex or experimented?


Surprisingly old. My parents met in college, and I was surprised to have graduated and still be alone. I'd always considered myself a good student of human nature, and was pretty good looking, even if I'm old and fat and gray now. I'll probably never really know what went wrong. I was always told I "intimidated people," even though I never felt intimidating. At least I never "intimidated" anyone into bed. There were probably a few wackos I might have, but I didn't want that.

Eventually, a few years before I met my wife, and another "flash in the pan," I despaired of finding anyone reasonable and hired a prostitute, which was kind of nice, but kind of sad.

If anyone out there dating were to ask me, my main suggestion would be, don't allow yourself to feel attached to someone "interesting" that you hope will get interested in you. If you're things aren't progressing, don't waste weeks or months of your life on anyone. Get a new personals ad out there, or whatever you're doing to meet people, now. By the way my wife and I "did it" on our second date. Though somewhat younger than I, she'd had little "experience," too.

I didn't look at it as a good thing at the time, and still hardly do, but my years of dating hell have motivated to make my marriage work!

So everyone who became sexually active in your teens, go ahead and boast, but I have a feeling there are more people than you realize who aren't so eager to post who took more than a bit longer.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

16 and I was completely in love.


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

Thanks for the replies. I guess what kind of bothered me the most is, even though I know it might happen, or hell it may already have, It still was kind of unsettling to actually hear him talk about it on the phone. Its like it was a confirmation of what I may have already know to be true. Its one of those things where I wish I had not heard what I heard, but I did.


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## NorCalMan (Dec 14, 2011)

I was 17 and she was 19 .... a summer love ... we did it everyday ... in some of the most crazy places.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> 31 the first time PIV happened.
> 
> Go ahead, start laughing now.


(((HUGS))) For some men that is when it stops.

Not me thankfully. Knock on ... wood.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Entropy3000 said:


> (((HUGS))) For some men that is when it stops.
> 
> Not me thankfully. Knock on ... wood.


:rofl: Good one!


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## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

I bloomed late  Didn't start messing around until 19, intercourse at 20. My H was 15 or 16 I believe.

We don't talk about it too much - when we've touched on it in the past, he's mentioned he's a little embarrassed that his "number" is so much higher than mine. (I'm single-digits, he's double-digits)

Agree about making sure your son understands that sex isn't just about his pleasure, but about making his gf feel good too!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

14 

condoms and plastic wrap. lol

I told my boys don't have sex until after marriage. lol

really I told them to get checked for std first then either use a condom or stick to oral only. that way you make sure your hooked up with someone who is agreable to giving oral in the first place.

because when you don't get plenty of oral its a real bummer!


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> 31 the first time PIV happened.
> 
> Go ahead, start laughing now.


Same as my oldest son....he is in the 
Priesthood ( orthodox, they can marry) and he waited until marriage.


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

Some friends set me up when I was almost 21 to lose my V.
It was not what I'd hoped it would be because the emotional connection wasn't there, just a couple of buzzed people encouraged into a room at a party. I decided them to wait until I found Mrs perfect?......well that's to be determined....


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

I was 18. I was in Catholic double down lockdown. Opressively so. I hated those years. I look back and see that it was actually abusive. Hence part of my disdain for authrority. As someone pointed out to me ... yesterday, I was a Rebel Without a Clue. 

Unfortunately while my parents were successful in preventing me from impregnating anyone, they also succeeded in retarding any semblance of social skills especially with women. Yeah, yeah I have none now. LOL. Whatever. I just went wild after I left home. 

Much of this has to do with culture and demographics.

here is an interesting article. My first sex was actually in a bed. Woohoo.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Didn't have the tests done until xw2 and I were dating for a little while and wanted to take it long-term. It's not difficult to get them. I think that's a good idea. I stayed away from oral and just stuck with hand stimulation and condom protected PIV until we took the tests.

Edit: My sympathies to you Entropy. I understand the guilt trip laid on by Catholic parents.


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> Same as my oldest son....he is in the
> Priesthood ( orthodox, they can marry) and he waited until marriage.


I was shy, then in an 8.5 year relationship where she wanted to save herself for marriage. She just didn't remember to inform me when she changed her mind about it. Its ok, though, she remembered to let the guy she met online know.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

2ntnuf said:


> Didn't have the tests done until xw2 and I were dating for a little while and wanted to take it long-term. It's not difficult to get them. I think that's a good idea. I stayed away from oral and just stuck with hand stimulation and condom protected PIV until we took the tests.
> 
> Edit: My sympathies to you Entropy. I understand the guilt trip laid on by Catholic parents.


Yup. To do this I basically was not allowed to date. It took a couple of family crisis to where I could even be in a group setting. I wanted to be an Engineer ... which i am. Many in the family wanted me to be ... an F'ing priest. WTF? So I became a sailor instead. LOL. So these are pieces to the puzzle as to why Entropy is kinda f'd up.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I was 16 (I think) for experimenting. 18 for oral and 22 for sex. At the age of 22 I had already made it to the end of a 2 year engagement without having sex. He ended up leaving me for another woman shortly before the wedding came around. My reaction was like "F this!" and asked one of my previous boyfriends to have sex with me. I remember thinking at the time that I was going to die of celebacy.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> Yup. To do this I basically was not allowed to date. It took a couple of family crisis to where I could even be in a group setting. I wanted to be an Engineer ... which i am.  Many in the family wanted me to be ... an F'ing priest. WTF? So I became a sailor instead. LOL. So these are pieces to the puzzle as to why Entropy is kinda f'd up.


Same here. I don't think you're F'd up, for what it's worth.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I was 18. H was 23 but his first was 14 or 15. I didn't want to but was pressured by my now H. Although raised to wait for marriage I didn't really embrace that. the reason I didn't want to was I didn't want to be another notch on his bedpost. 

But this talk is giving me a headache. I don't want my little girl to have casual sex or a lot of partner. I surely don't want her to be giving some 16 year old pimple face boy a BJ! And given her Daddy history he will probably be worse than me! 

Poor little baby. It will have to be a arrange marriage.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

I was maybe 14 or 15, God it was so long ago now that I'm 65. If anything I wish I had picked a better looking girl. That I remember. She was the school tramp from another school and it was there and hormones raging, I took the leap. Lasted maybe a minuet. First time in my life I saw one of those things that a girl has and I was shaking like a leaf. She on the other hand was very calm and collected. To her it was no big deal and we were both the same age.


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

17 was first time


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Age 17, and it was like a snowball for me. Once that engine started rolling it built up a head of steam and rolled down hill with a fury. But, never had a girlfriend through all of this. Just was not interested in relationships, only sex. 

Now I see life very different. Can't see sex without a committed relationship.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I was in my early 20s for PIV.

I started makin out (over clothes touching and kissing) around 17.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

19 or 20 for PIV . woulda been much earlier if I'd lived in a city with more warm bodies I am sure
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

I was 16 when I first experimented with my boyfriend. I was scared to death! At the movies
when he decided to cop a feel of my boob, followed by sliding his hand down my pants! Actual
intercourse didn't happen until I was 18, with a different guy of course. I don't think either of us
knew what we were doing, it was awkward!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

intercourse was 12 or 13. experimenting? who knows!


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

My husband meet the would-be boyfriend at the front door. He got escorted to the kitchen where he was told that any inappropriate touching of our daughter would cause him to lose two things that would be displayed in a mason jar on our mantel. 

One poor kid backed up, thru up his hands and swore they wouldn't even hold hands. 

We were notorious at the High School but we didn't care. 

To date, no unwed momma's on our watch.

And before someone has a hissy and gets offended and starts whining about rape jokes....1. We weren't joking 2. We're from the south, we don't play 3. I don't care


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Age 10 - First game of "doctor"
Age 11 - First "girlfriend"
Age 14 - First real kiss
Age 17 - First intercourse (HS grad partying in Myrtle Beach)
Age 20 - First significant girlfriend (yes, took that long)
Age 21-23 - Multiple relationships of various lengths.
Age 23 - Exclusive with future wife.
Age 25 - Married.
Age 34 - First daughter.
Age 37 - Second daughter.
Age 40-46 - Sexless


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Messing around started at 14 - 15. Actual first PIV at 16 but was close to 17.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

When I was age 11 and entered high school girls began noticing me and making passes, but I was a " late bloomer " with respect to sexual urges. I just didn't connect the dots, so I just used to shrug it off and never responded to girls.
Also I grew up among lots of women , so the female body was 
" normal " to me.

Then age 14 , everything began to kick in at once. Sex drive , masturbation , and first actual tongue in mouth kiss. I remember for that kiss the girl actually put her mouth on mine, slipped her tongue into my mouth and took my hand and placed it on here tits.I was in heaven. After that I began to connect the dots, and started experimenting with girls. Touching , handjobs , everything except sex.

Age 16 I had my first sex, and that woman was 10 years older than me, and I had just met her the day before! 
I was actually bluffing my way through our conversation and heavy flirting on the beach ,where we had just met, and ended up at her rental villa spending the rest of the Christmas vacation locked in inside with her, engaged in almost every conceivable sex act..
Even though I knew what was happening , I couldn't understand how big a score she was. This was a woman , on vacation by herself, paying for a luxury villa. I was still a boy just about to graduate from high school...

After that woman, everything else was just a blur, too much to remember, until I fell for my wife around age 23 and got married at age 24.
Yup, she too is a bit older than me, but it doesn't show.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> When I was age 11 and entered high school girls began noticing me and making passes, but I was a " late bloomer " with respect to sexual urges. I just didn't connect the dots, so I just used to shrug it off and never responded to girls.


I can identify with this (except I was going into 6th grade at age 11, not high school  ).

Actually, I had a couple of things going against me in that department - 

1) I was a late bloomer,
2) It wasn't just being a late bloomer but I was sheltered and had no idea about sex. It wasn't so much that I didn't have sexual urges (walked around with a constant erection), but my view of relationships was antiquated and romanticized ... like a black and white movie from the 50s.

Some girls at the school spread the rumor that I was gay because I didn't respond to their advances. I had no idea what to do! Yeah, that part of my life sucked, lol.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> I can identify with this (except I was going into 6th grade at age 11, not high school  ).
> 
> Actually, I had a couple of things going against me in that department -
> 
> ...


Yup.

The exact same thing in my case too. I think that I too had this romantic view of what a " relationship * looked like .:rofl:

There were girls in higher classes hitting on me and when i didn't respond, then the gay rumour began.

BTW., our education system down here is a carbon copy of the British system. 
Age 5 - 11 Primary [ Elementary ] school
Age 11- 16 Secondary [ High ] School
Age 16- 18 College
Age 20+ University.


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## Fallen Leaf (May 27, 2013)

I was 19.

I have 2 girls and yes, I'm scared for them. But, being that I don't want them to settle down/get married until they are 30, I have to realize that they will probably either have more than one sexual partner or they will have to have a long time boyfriend until they are allowed to marry.


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## 1971 (Mar 7, 2013)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> 31 the first time PIV happened.
> 
> Go ahead, start laughing now.



I think thats beautiful, I hope you enjoyed it.


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## 1971 (Mar 7, 2013)

I was 17 and my boyfriend was very gentle. It's something I will never forget.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

trey69 said:


> I was gonna put this in the parenting forums but felt I might get more responses here, this is a sex issue. However its not a marital one.
> 
> Do you remember what age you were the first time you had sex? Or even started to experiment, maybe not even full blown intercourse, but just messin around.
> 
> ...


Here is my sex talk with my two sons.

I unroll a condom until it is fully extended to about 8 or 9 inches

Then say "Don't even think about having sex until you can fill this out


My son comes home from his first year at college and tells me I am full of sh!t

I was 17


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I will never forget skipping school and watching my girlfriend completely undress in front of me and lay on her mother's bed....100% naked. I was only 15 years old. This was my first time to give a girl oral sex. What a great memory. I didn't know exactly what I was doing, but I sure loved it. She was 16. 

I guess this means I love "older women"...


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Fallen Leaf said:


> I was 19.
> 
> I have 2 girls and yes, I'm scared for them. But, being that I don't want them to settle down/get married until they are 30, I have to realize that they will probably either have more than one sexual partner or they will have to have a long time boyfriend until they are allowed to marry.


Yes, I worry about my two daughters. They are nearly 9 and 12 and while neither of them have entered puberty yet, it will be any day now. Most of my 12 year old's friends are well into puberty ... freaks me out when she has friends over and they suddenly have breasts, lol.

They are good girls though and all I can do is teach them to be confident in themselves, understand right from wrong, keep the lines of communication open ... and hope for the best. 

As a father, you are their first male relationship and the example you set and the attention you give them can make all the difference in the world.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Had a conversation today with my wife that made me recall this thread.

As I mentioned, I was a late bloomer. I was sexually naive but physically I developed late as well. Well, my (soon to be) 12 year old takes a lot after me in many ways. My wife was an earlier bloomer and my 9 year old takes a lot after her. 

Today my wife took my oldest daughter out to buy a training bra. Not because she needed one ... but because she entered middle school (6th grade) and now has to undress in gym class in front of the other girls ... most of whom have started developing. She is embarrassed that her body hasn't changed yet. Adding to the embarrassment, because of where her birthday falls, she is among the oldest in her class but physically, she still looks much younger. She had friends over today and I couldn't help but notice how much older they appeared than her. Despite looking like a little girl, she is extremely bright and mature ... an odd combination that takes people by surprise. My avatar is my oldest daughter taken a couple of months ago ... looking every bit like she could be 3 years younger than she is.

I went through a similar thing although I think it is more difficult for boys. I had the whole gym locker room experience starting in 7th grade. Because of where my birthday falls, I was always the youngest in my class. I HATED the locker room ... here I was, still looking like a little boy and everyone around me were starting to look like men, bigger, taller and more masculine. Girls my age at that time tended to be interested in older boys, so they sure as heck weren't going to be interested in the guy that looked like their little brother, lol. 

It is entirely possible that my youngest daughter starts puberty before her older sister. That would be difficult for her, I think. My youngest already has hair coming in and absolutely requires deodorant. 

The good news for her is that like me and if she takes care of herself, she will likely always look young for her age. She will appreciate that later on. I've also never struggled with weight and I think she takes after me in that respect too ... something else she will appreciate ... even sooner than I did. HOPEFULLY, this will also delay her sexual attraction to boys and give her more time to develop emotionally before that happens.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> 31 the first time PIV happened.
> 
> Go ahead, start laughing now.


Well you know you aren't alone!

Although I did beat you by a few years for PIV.

And it wasn't for the lack of trying. I just got knocked back so many times my confidence was shattered and each knockback just shattered it more.

However the odd BJ and grope from my early 20's.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

13 unwillingly.

Willingly, 18


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

CantePe said:


> 13 unwillingly.
> 
> Willingly, 18


I don't count the unwilling.... {{{Hugs to you CantePe}}}}

I was 19 it was just an act that had to be done. Just something to be able to say I could do it. I felt dirty and hated it, but also felt brave cause I did it.

Then I was 20 and wasn't scared. married him. He's one of the good guys... The rest can be found in various other posts.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Because of where my birthday falls, I was always the youngest in my class. I HATED the locker room ... here I was, still looking like a little boy and everyone around me were starting to look like men, bigger, taller and more masculine. Girls my age at that time tended to be interested in older boys, so they sure as heck weren't going to be interested in the guy that looked like their little brother, lol.


Same here, I was the 2nd youngest in my class by a week. Everyone else was driving, drinking, dating, etc almost a year before me.

Anyhow, I have talked to all of my kids about not rushing to be older. They only have one year to be the age they are, they have forever to be older. Enjoy being 15, 16, 17. Don't try to be 25! You can never be 15 again.

I think all of them got the message to some extent. I never said don't have sex, or the opposite sex is dangerous. I simply encouraged them to relax and enjoy themselves as they are.


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## camillaj (Aug 3, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> And don't forget the plastic wrap for the cunnilingus.


They are called dental dams.

I was around 13 when I kissed a girl then at 15 sex the first time. Me and her "dated" in secret and our parents thought we were just friends and had no idea about the sleepovers. Try that with a boy at the age of 15.  With boys at 18-19.


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## justdance4me (Jul 12, 2013)

I was 15 when I had PIV for the first time with my bf at the time who was also 15...

My oldest skid is 16, no boyfriend and her dad (my fiance) is scary so no wonder boys don't come around. My fiance can give a bf the look of death not say a word and it will scare them away its awesome! I also have a 14 y/o step son and 12 y/o step son. I am sure dad gave them the talk but they are also at the "dont care about girls yet" age....They are both very proper in their upbringing from a strict Italian family so that could be something...It will be interesting to see the next few years...

My fiance, now he was f***ing everything in site when he was in high school (or so he told me) I think he said he had PIV for the first time at 14 or 15...then he put on weight, health problems until his early 40s so I guess the "f***ing" around stopped, hence his nasty divorce too LOL. Yikes! Hes super health nut now, I looked at pics of him when he was in his early 20s and woah i wouldn't have touched him with a ten foot pole.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

camillaj said:


> They are called dental dams.
> 
> I was around 13 when I kissed a girl then at 15 sex the first time. Me and her "dated" in secret and our parents thought we were just friends and had no idea about the sleepovers. Try that with a boy at the age of 15.  With boys at 18-19.


Let me be more specific:










I don't think it's necessary to go to the trouble of getting a dental dam when this is just as good and handi. Pun intended.


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## camillaj (Aug 3, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> Let me be more specific:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Those tend to break easily. In theory you could wrap that around penis too.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Frosh in College ~ almost 19!*

*But didn't really mess around a whole lot until just before marriage!*


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

ScubaSteve61 said:


> 31 the first time PIV happened.
> 
> Go ahead, start laughing now.


Actually, I find this less shocking than all these early ages that people are mentioning. I was more interested in collecting comic books at those ages than sex. I learn something new every day.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

camillaj said:


> Those tend to break easily. In theory you could wrap that around penis too.


Good grief! You must have barbs on your tongue. If you're chewing on it that hard, she isn't going to like the cunnilingus.


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## camillaj (Aug 3, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> Good grief! You must have barbs on your tongue. If you're chewing on it that hard, she isn't going to like the cunnilingus.


She disagrees with you. And actually I have a piercing on my tongue and she loves it.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

9. With 16 year old boys that were supposedly wholesome religious good boys -- but weren't.

Please be sure to include respect and human decency in the sex talk. These aren't always as obvious as they should be.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

camillaj said:


> She disagrees with you. And actually I have a piercing on my tongue and she loves it.


Well, that explains your comment. You HAVE to use a dental dam. In this circumstance, you are correct. Regular plastic wrap will not suffice. Never met a woman who could take that kind of chewing to break through plastic wrap. The tongue jewelry I've seen is just a round ball at either end. Can't imagine what you could be doing there.


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## camillaj (Aug 3, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> Well, that explains your comment. You HAVE to use a dental dam. In this circumstance, you are correct. Regular plastic wrap will not suffice. Never met a woman who could take that kind of chewing to break through plastic wrap. The tongue jewelry I've seen is just a round ball at either end. Can't imagine what you could be doing there.


I've been almost four years with her and we are both tested and clean so we don't have use any protection or birth control. I don't know what kind of industrial version you have but the plastic wrap we have is very fragile. I really wouldn't count on that and risking getting an STD. Also you realise the plastic wrap won't work when tribbing. My piercing is a ball too. Naturally a man can't even imagine what we are doing but most every woman knows.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Sure. Okay..


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

No, camilla. You came into this thread and quoted my post and started down a path of disagreement. 

I think it is insulting that you believe I must agree with your opinion. I think it is insulting for you to believe you must correct me because you think I am wrong. I think you have a huge ego and believe yourself to be superior.

I think it is an accurate assessment. You are having a tough day. I understand that. Don't take it out on me. Does that clear up your misunderstanding of my comment?


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## camillaj (Aug 3, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> No, camilla. You came into this thread and quoted my post and started down a path of disagreement.
> 
> I think it is insulting that you believe I must agree with your opinion. I think it is insulting for you to believe you must correct me because you think I am wrong. I think you have a huge ego and believe yourself to be superior.
> 
> I think it is an accurate assessment. You are having a tough day. I understand that. Don't take it out on me. Does that clear up your misunderstanding of my comment?


I don't see where I said I'm not a woman and that I should use drugs to relax. That's just plain insulting and had nothing to do with my post.

I reported your post but I can see you can say anything you want and insult anyone you want on this forum because you've paid money to be a forum supporter. A real supporter aren't you.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

camilla,

Where did I say you aren't a woman? Do you take what I said to mean that you are incapable of having a worthwhile opinion because you are a woman? In fact, where did I mention any gender? How do you related something like, "take a chill pill" to telling you to do drugs? Did you misunderstand because I didn't phrase it that particular way?

It's alright, camilla. I don't mind you reporting my post. I'm not going to take it out on you. As I've been trying to tell you, we don't have to agree.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> 13.


:iagree:


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## Marriedand40 (Aug 19, 2013)

Well sad to say it but I was 20 yrs old when I lost my virginity.

Yep, one of the few who went their entire high school years without having sex. I kissed here and there but I was incredibly shy. I had opportunities but either though I could do better or just too plain stupid to pick up on the advances.

When I had a summer job during 2nd yr of college, I was introduced to a 17 year old girl from a co-worker. It was a blind date. She picked me up and we went to dinner.

We dated for a few months and she was very experienced, started her period at 11, lost her virginity at 14 and partied young. She had a 90% + average and was the school nerd, valedictorian, in the school band, yearbook committee amonst others.

I found out when I went over to watch a movie, how great she was. She gave me a BJ and swallowed everything. I lasted barely 2 minutes. Back then it was taboo for alot of girls to do that. She volunteered how she loved giving head, liked wearing lingerie, enjoyed kinky sex, having sex in public etc. I was scared out of my mind because I wasn't very experienced.

I never went farther than that for a couple of months (laugh at me, I know what an idiot I was) but one night after a movie, we went back to my parents and went at it on the couch. I lasted 2 minutes before re-tooling and going at it for an hour, mostly missionary. I told her after I was virgin and she was shocked. She didn't know anyone that age who still was.

She wasn't into condoms at all, like it natural. Again 20 years ago condoms weren't as mainstream as they are now.

Shortly after that night, we broke up, I never spent enough time with her and didn't treat her the was she deserved to be treated. I was never taught by my brothers, parents, sisters etc how to treat a woman. If I did, I could have had unbelievable sex with this lovely woman. This is one of my biggest regrets in life I have.

I still think about her once in awhile. She developed Crohn's and was never able to conceive a child. Heartbreaking because she was a nice girl too. She had an abortion at 16 as well.

I ran into her 10 years later and she was quite sad, numerous bowel surgeries and medication left her very overweight (steroids for inflammation etc.)

I'll never forget her.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Age 10 - First game of "doctor"
> Age 11 - First "girlfriend"
> Age 14 - First real kiss
> Age 17 - First intercourse (HS grad partying in Myrtle Beach)
> ...



Myrtle Beach? LOL I've banged there many times! Thats were I live!


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I have always been very sexual even as young as 5 I can remember experimenting. Boys always got my blood flowing and it scared me. Didn't date until after high school. I was very shy. But once I had a man in my life we did everything and anything! Well almost! I was 19.
_Posted via Mobile Device_

I was so sexual as a child my parents thought I was being molested and took me to see a sex therapist. His diagnosis : a horny kid! Lol. That was when I was 6.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

I started making out with girls at about 15 years old, was getting to 2nd base by 17 years old, but did not lose my virginity until I was "19" years old(late bloomer I guess).


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## marko (Jul 22, 2013)

I was almost 17, it was my first girlfriend, only had three sexual partners all together including my wife who I met when I was 20, she was almost 18. I was her first lover and her only. she had found me, she was done looking. 

I have a friend that I actually thought was gay and did not tell anybody, he had never went on dates that we knew of.he met his wife in his mid 30's, they are together and have a child.


scuba steve..........right on buddy. that is awesome actually. wait for the perfect one, or almost perfect. 

our daughter is strong willed and strong in body, she is well above the average for the growth charts. I have been teaching her self defense since she was almost 2, little things here and there. hopefully the boys are scared of her and will stay away from her. barring that scenario I will have "little talks" to every single young man that comes a courtin'.

I pity the boy that comes and honks his horn to get my daughter to come out. I will be the one going on the date with him and I will ensure he understands what respect is.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

marko said:


> I was almost 17, it was my first girlfriend, only had three sexual partners all together including my wife who I met when I was 20, she was almost 18. I was her first lover and her only. she had found me, she was done looking.
> 
> I have a friend that I actually thought was gay and did not tell anybody, he had never went on dates that we knew of.he met his wife in his mid 30's, they are together and have a child.
> 
> ...


I have had only "4" sexual partners my entire life and some people find that to be strange but......oh well, that's just how it all played out I guess.


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## marko (Jul 22, 2013)

Cee Paul said:


> I have had only "4" sexual partners my entire life and some people find that to be strange but......oh well, that's just how it all played out I guess.


when you find the right one and are happy no need to look for others.

eg, I have a cereal I like, I eat it every morning. I do not go to the grocery store and wonder what this one or that one tastes like. I am happy. 

btw, not saying my wife is equal to a bowl of cereal.


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

First kiss 5 or 6 (I never had that girls are eww phase, I always liked girls lol)

Started hitting on older females (teen girls and full on adult women) 8 :rofl:

First oral 13

Lost virginity 15 (B-day)


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## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

marko said:


> I have been teaching her self defense since she was almost 2, little things here and there. hopefully the boys are scared of her and will stay away from her.


And by "defense" I assume you mean fighting, "offense"? (Of course children need to learn about protecting themselves from potential violence, like they need to learn about lots of things, but aren't you wondering about the results of reveling in it?) So I guess the anthem is "Men are dangerous."

Are you expecting your daughter to turn on a dime when she becomes an adult, or pretty happy with her in the state you describe for life?



marko said:


> barring that scenario I will have "little talks" to every single young man that comes a courtin'.
> 
> I pity the boy that comes and honks his horn to get my daughter to come out. I will be the one going on the date with him and I will ensure he understands what respect is.


Yes, a gentleman should always park his horseless carriage when he comes calling.

Aren't you worried about setting off eligible young men's loon detectors? Even at my loneliest, I always had a pretty good loon detector, and some women (and maybe their families) sent me running for the exit. You know who I guess wouldn't run for the exit? Spike-the-Biker-Dude. The very types you'd like to avoid.


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## marko (Jul 22, 2013)

bestyet2b....over analyze much?

these are ramblings of an over protective father. I am not reveling in it. I stated it. 

I am a self defense instructor,(adult, children, anti-bullying, weapons, ground fighting) I am proud I can teach my daughter proper self DEFENSE techniques and ANTI-abduction techniques. I instruct her on the times and places they are to be used. She knows the limits that she can do them, they are not deadly ancient ninja heart stoppers. I am not teaching her how to FIGHT... YET. When she is more developed mentally I will teach her then. 

Seems like a double standard here, a father teaching his daughter how to defend herself gets berated by some stranger, but if I had a son and watched WWE,MMA and jackass the movie with him and we 'rassled and screwed around and he had unrealistic notions of everyday violence it would be just fine. 

I use any opportunity I can to teach her about anything that comes by that she wonders about.eg, why is the sky blue? how old are the mountains? how is a bike made? what makes cars go zoom? 

I am hoping as we all are, to raise a well rounded, confident , intelligent young lady that can take care of herself and stand up for what she believes in. 

If she really does bring home some greasy Billy bad-a$$ biker I will hopefully still have a chance to talk to him of my expectations of the treatment of my daughter. At that point I might need to assume she knows what she is doing. He treats her wrong I will be there. PERIOD! I have been around every type of bad boy out there. the ones that look like bad a$$es do not scare me to be honest.

of course now we are getting into the worst case scenarios with regards to my daughters future, most of these no parent can ever fully prepare for. 

What I can do, is prepare her for the monsters out there that take children out of shopping carts at Wal-Mart(has already happened elsewhere), for the kids that have learned that it is fun to beat up on the other children at the playground (has already happened at her school).My daughter has never beat up on any other children, she is polite and helps clean up and helps the other kids if they need assistance.

since my daughter is only six right now , I figure I have a few years before I have to put serious thought into how I treat her boyfriends, ten years would be nice but I doubt it. We all know how much of a teeter totter that can be. 

Incidentally, the horn honking thing is a huge peeve of mine. The young lady across the street has had her boyfriend come by and he honks for her. Besides being rude I think that is a very disrespectful thing to do. 

Hey if the young men figure I am crazy then they might behave better and do their best to not upset me. 

did not read through all your posts, do you have daughters? do you have any pointers for raising them? or do you just feel like criticizing me tonight?

have a good weekend.


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## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

Marco, it's precisely because I believe your heart IS in the right place that I went ahead and replied.

If we lived in a world of great violence, AND a world of "fair fights," I'd have to agree with your thinking.

However, contrary to what's over-emphasized on the TV news, violence is actually decreasing. A lot. Listen to one of Steven Pinker's lectures, or maybe read his book, The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined: Steven Pinker, Arthur Morey: 9781455883110: Amazon.com: Books. When the world is eventually fully covered with little cameras recording everything, everywhere, some have predicted the end of many kinds of violence. Let's hope.

And lots of tactics would make more sense in a world of "fair fights," than in the real world. I guess you could get your kids concealed weapons permits as soon as they're old enough....

Anyway, seeing various women going around with pepper spray on their key chains, and hearing of their problems, I still have the impression kids, and girls especially, are more likely to be harmed by excessive fearfulness, IN GENERAL, though I'm sure you could point to a few individual cases where just a little extra skill in poking someone's eyes out could have saved some woman's life. 

I also like to avoid conversations where the phrase "double standard" comes up. Usually too much bitterness for anything good to come out of it. (Though I've sometimes been there myself -- guilty!)



marko said:


> do you have daughters?


No. I do have a mother though, and I still occasionally get the treat of hearing about the problems caused by my grandmother's attitudes regarding "men," ringing down through the decades, nearly a century, in fact.

It might be interesting if some women would comment....


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## marko (Jul 22, 2013)

I obviously have a different perception of violence in today's society. Violence directly associated with war and tribal violence has decreased but as humans since we are a territory based species we still need an outlet for our aggressive tendencies. 

We still have violence in our society every day, there are still strangers yelling and fighting every day. We still go tribal in the cities, there are gangs, there are drugs, there are violent robberies and there are non-associated rapes every day. Some people hide their head in the sand and say it does not happen in my neighborhood so it does not happen anywhere.

We have the perception we are safer because we have organized law enforcement and cameras, we have laws and regulations. Away from the street lights and away form the cameras there are many folks that are mentally ill that feel the need to do grievous harm to others just for the sake of it. 

I am a firm believer in the "one percent rule". it states that one percent of the population at any time can undergo a psychopathic episode and carry out violence against others at any time. from my history and study of humans I would say that is about accurate. 

I have worked with men that are/were military/police/security etc and I have been exposed to violence on an everyday basis, I have had to fight to save my own life from a few acts of violence(yes a couple at work as a bouncer or money handler), I have had to intervene on many occasions to save other lives from some trivial thing that blew out of proportion and was going to turn very violent very fast.

eg, one young man said "hi" to a young lady as she walked out of a 7-11 ,she happened to be with her boyfriend, the other young man took offense to this obvious sign of disrespect and waited for him. fortunately I happened by and seen the signs and warned him and drove beside him as he walked home, with his permission of course. 

did this young man deserve to get curb stomped for innocently saying "hi"? it would have been three guys on one. 

like I said, I see violence all around. 

btw, I am in Canada, so no carry laws here. the only law is, you do not carry.....unless you are police. kind of silly but hey as long as the criminals listen to the law we are all safe....oh wait.


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## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

I was...


6. I was in kindergarten and my best friend, who was always sweet and kind to me, brought her friend over one day when we were on the bus going home. They told me that they were different than me, and I told them to leave me alone. They started to undress in front of me; my friend took her top off and the other girl took her pants off.

When they were done showing off they told me to take my pants off. I started to unzip my pants but then I got scared and said I wouldn't do it. My best friend started kissing me while the other girl unzipped my pants and performed fellatio on me. 

I never told anyone about it until I was in my 20's. I moved away after I started 1st grade and never saw her again.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

tracyishere said:


> I have always been very sexual even as young as 5 I can remember experimenting. Boys always got my blood flowing and it scared me. Didn't date until after high school. I was very shy. But once I had a man in my life we did everything and anything! Well almost! I was 19.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> 
> I was so sexual as a child my parents thought I was being molested and took me to see a sex therapist. His diagnosis : a horny kid! Lol. That was when I was 6.


Right. What cereal box did that "therapist" get his qualification from? And who takes a six year old to a 'sex therapist'?


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

bestyet2be said:


> Anyway, seeing various women going around with pepper spray on their key chains, and hearing of their problems, I still have the impression kids, and girls especially, are more likely to be harmed by excessive fearfulness, IN GENERAL, though I'm sure you could point to a few individual cases where just a little extra skill in poking someone's eyes out could have saved some woman's life.


I think you, like most people who are not schooled in self defense, think that the prepared person is paranoid. Always looking over his/her shoulder, imagining every person as a threat to be neutralized.

In fact, it is the opposite. It is comforting to not have to worry about becoming a victim. Do you drive your car in fear of a collision at any moment? Or does your seatbelt give you 1) Confidence in the event something bad happens you have a better chance at being unhurt, and 2) A reminder to be careful?

One of my daughters at 16 utilized her training to identify 2 creepy young men trailing her and a friend. She then evaded them, crossed the street, and then confronted them loudly verbally "Are you following us??".

Just like I taught my daughters basic safety, I made sure they are educated in self defense. They know to never accept an open drink from anybody at a party or bar. It doesn't make them paranoid at parties, it makes them confident they know how to be safe, so they are more able to enjoy themselves.

My son, 17, is a very skilled martial artist. I do not worry he will be victimized in a bar or frat party when he gets to college. His school emphasizes avoiding trouble, not perpetrating crime, and effectively defending oneself if it becomes necessary.

My eldest daughter was an active competitive shooter, mostly pistol. She has several trophies on her bookshelf. I really like the idea that any males who visit her apartment will be aware she can take care of herself.

A fire extinguisher in your kitchen does not make you paranoid. Emergency first aid supplies in your bathroom does not make you paranoid. Knowing how to stay safe and to defend yourself if necessary likewise does not make you violent nor paranoid.


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## marko (Jul 22, 2013)

thor you said it very well. 

you are not paranoid if it can really happen. I am prepared for most scenarios I have to say, just the way I am . I do not look over my shoulder all the time, I watch people around me though. 

you sound like you raised and trained your children well. good job. I hope I do as well as you did. :smthumbup:


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## NativeSun09 (Mar 28, 2013)

I was 20. It was with my husband (then fiance). I caught a lot of flack in school for attempting to wait til I found the one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

19.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Around 16-17 is when the light making-out started. 18 was the real experimental year. I bought lingerie, garters and thigh high stockings. I was embracing my sexuality at that point.

Long sessions of foreplay. Experimenting with sensations and reactions, blind-folds and tease, oral sex, a bit of fantasy play. In that, lots of fun and trust was developed. Sex occurred at 19. He wasn't a virgin but explored patiently with me. And this guy I was head over heels for, ended up being my husband.

We've had our issues...some still being worked on. I do love that we had all that lead-up though. It helped us discover one another physically and it was a special time.


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## daniehjjj (Sep 8, 2013)

i was 17 but i know i was thinking about it much younger my daughter is 12 and alone with the changing body discussion i had the birds and bees talk thanks to websites created to help with awkwardness im glad i did.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

bestyet2be said:


> Anyway, seeing various women going around with pepper spray on their key chains, and hearing of their problems, I still have the impression kids, and girls especially, are more likely to be harmed by excessive fearfulness, IN GENERAL, though I'm sure you could point to a few individual cases where just a little extra skill in poking someone's eyes out could have saved some woman's life.
> 
> <snip>
> 
> It might be interesting if some women would comment....


A girl/woman needs to be prepared. Rape stats are still way too high and a whole lot goes unreported. And rape is worst case; there are other kinds of threats.

A underage club in my town has the "GHB" room where drugged up teen girls are used by multiple boys, for example. Cops have busted it up a few times, but it still goes on.

I am just one woman, and probably unluckier than most, but here is a snapshot of what I've had to deal with:

Aged 9: teenage boys using me for sex practice to help them get dates with girls their own age. Also 35-year old creepy pedophile dude who "wanted to show me something" in the bushes. (I didn't fall for it, as I already knew what he wanted to show me.) Second event was reported, but nothing happened.

Aged 15: raped and almost killed. Event reported and guy went to jail.

Aged 18: almost gang banged by 6 drunk teenage guys. Kicked my way out and ran. Event not reported.

Aged 22: had guy break into my room while I was sleeping. Freaked out and scared him off. Same thing happened again in a different residence, different guy, but same result. Neither event was reported.

These are just the major incidences, and do not include the many times I have been flashed, followed, had guys drive slowly beside me calling me names, or masturbate in front of me.

Girls *need* to learn to defend themselves, IMHO


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## bestyet2be (Jul 28, 2013)

always_alone said:


> ...
> Aged 15: raped and almost killed. Event reported and guy went to jail.
> ...
> Girls *need* to learn to defend themselves, IMHO


AlwaysAlone, I was so sad to read this. I'm so sorry.

I was just trying to think of something positive to write.... Although not a stranger to hardship and tragedy, I've had a pretty soft life. As such, I've generally felt that my various mistakes were mine, and my fault alone, and I've had a hard time forgiving myself for my mistakes. Maybe recalling these things can at least make it easier for you to forgive your own mistakes?

Thinking back, I don't think learning fighting skills is a bad thing, per se. Had Marko written that he wanted his daughter to learn to be an expert fighter, in order that she could have age-appropriate friendships and then dating with confidence and security, instead of hoping that boys would "stay away from her," etc., my reaction would have been very different.

I think there's a parallel to how kids are taught about venereal diseases, not just so that precautions will be taken, but seemingly to scare kids about sex as much as possible. Similarly, religious training seems more designed to threaten with damnation, than to provide guidance and comfort.

So while fighting skills, knowledge of VD, and Religion certainly can be very positive, the, "men are dangerous, likely to hurt me, infect me with a lethal disease, and I'm going to hell" aspect is one I've sure perceived, and the resulting relationship problems, and no the repercussions don't appear to end at the time of marriage.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I met my husband at 15.... we didn't start touching each other intimately until at least 3 months after we met.....I really can't remember.....the hormones were RAGING for sure, I was always soaked to the point of needing to change my underwear, put a paper towel down there or something!.... but I was very much against having sex... 

I was hell bent on waiting till marriage..for intercourse... The rest I had no objection to......it was something I promised myself from a young age and if the guy couldn't wait ....he can dump me...that was for 1 special man that treated me with care and wanted me for life... 

We managed to do just that... but it sure wasn't cause we didn't care to "get off"....and touch each other, nothing under the sun could have stopped his hands from going there.....I orgasmed from his 1st touch and every touch afterwards...I remember thinking... "Oh baby.... don't stop now!"....this kept us from going stark raving mad, while our emotional connection grew & grew... We got used to what we did and were always satisfied.. but in the very beginning, I remember thinking... "  how in the he** are we not going to go there -meaning all the way" ... but we managed.

I was 22 and he 25 when we had intercourse... all those yrs of anticipation for our Honeymoon, and he couldn't get it *in*... for months.... .crazy story we have.... I got pregnant BEFORE he fully penetrated me... even had to visit the OBGYN to say "Hey Doc, my husband can't get it in"... now that was darn embarrassing ! 

That's our story...


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

bestyet2be said:


> So while fighting skills, knowledge of VD, and Religion certainly can be very positive, the, "men are dangerous, likely to hurt me, infect me with a lethal disease, and I'm going to hell" aspect is one I've sure perceived, and the resulting relationship problems, and no the repercussions don't appear to end at the time of marriage.


:iagree:

Fear mongering doesn't help anyone, and we do need to teach our children (and ourselves!) healthy attitudes to sex and relationships. My list was only to demonstrate that the risks are real and all too common, and not always part of the official stats. And that self defense skills are very worthwhile (but hopefully never needed).


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

I was 8 when a family therapist told my parents that they needed to keep an eye on me because I was very sexual. My parents thought it seemed really weird at the time. A few months later he was arrested after breaking into our home in the middle of the night. Nobody knows why he was there, but my sister had woken up and he took off. Anyway, by the time I was 11 I was "soft" experimenting with my best friend. Light petting, kissing, that kind of thing. By 12 I lost my virginity to a guy across the street. My mother was having an affair and moving out around that time and my dad was left raising a bunch of kids he knew nothing about as he had been working in the mines out of town for years. I went absolutely WILD and he couldn't do a damn thing to control me. He tried! By 14 I had moved in with my mom and got pregnant by an older man who didn't even speak English and I'm now pretty sure was in the country illegally. Maybe? Starting using drugs and dropped out of school though I had always kept a 4.0 previously. This more or less lasted all my teen years. Though I did return to school, I graduated with 2 kids in the audience. Kept up the partying, but calmed down the sexual exploits during my first marriage. Got my crap together, divorced him with 3 kids now. Met my current husband at 23 and have been with only him for 6+ years now. I can't say that I regret my past because it has turned me into the amazing person I am today, but am eternally grateful that I made it out alive and found a man willing to accept my past and love me for who I was to him!


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## camillaj (Aug 3, 2013)

always_alone said:


> A girl/woman needs to be prepared. Rape stats are still way too high and a whole lot goes unreported. And rape is worst case; there are other kinds of threats.
> 
> A underage club in my town has the "GHB" room where drugged up teen girls are used by multiple boys, for example. Cops have busted it up a few times, but it still goes on.
> 
> ...


This is truly horrible and I can't imagine the pain you've gone through.  I've also been the target of a gang rape attempt along my then girlfriend but luckily the bouncers at a night club saw/heard the ordeal and came to help.

There's always the other option if you're not afraid of guns. I have a small handgun (legal, with a permit of course) with me and the next guy who comes trying assaulting I will shoot him in the crotch. He will remember that attempt for the rest of his life. This is self defense of course and totally legal.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Camilla, read some legal books on self defense. Talk to a lical gun instructor. Your only lawful use of the gun is to stop the threat. Shooting to wound or maim is not lawfull and if you admit to it you will be convicted and sued. 

You always shoot to stop. It may take multiple shots. You might miss or be inaccurate. Just please never admit to warning shots or shooting to injure.

All my gun buddies would agree with your sentiments. In a perfect world you'd shoot him in the crootch and both kneecaps, and maybe carve a big R in his face with a pocketknife. Our "civilized" legal system would not agree.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I met my husband at 15.... we didn't start touching each other intimately until at least 3 months after we met.....I really can't remember.....the hormones were RAGING for sure, I was always soaked to the point of needing to change my underwear, put a paper towel down there or something!.... but I was very much against having sex...
> 
> I was hell bent on waiting till marriage..for intercourse... The rest I had no objection to......it was something I promised myself from a young age and if the guy couldn't wait ....he can dump me...that was for 1 special man that treated me with care and wanted me for life...


We tried waiting and only made it 2 months. We REALLY, REALLY tried but just didn't make it.

We're 2-1/2 weeks into the 6 week wait now. We're doing "everything but" and it's killing the both of us.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

Thor said:


> Camilla, read some legal books on self defense. Talk to a lical gun instructor. Your only lawful use of the gun is to stop the threat. Shooting to wound or maim is not lawfull and if you admit to it you will be convicted and sued.
> 
> You always shoot to stop. It may take multiple shots. You might miss or be inaccurate. Just please never admit to warning shots or shooting to injure.
> 
> ...


State laws vary regarding this. Az laws (where I am) allow the use of deadly force to stop OR PREVENT commission of specific violent crimes, including murder, rape, armed robbery and child molestation. The statue also allows for a person who reasonably believes that he or another person is in danger of serious harm or death to use deadly force.

We also just did away with our concealed permits a few years back. I almost ALWAYS carry a .380 Ruger LCP on me and would have no hesitation in using it if I felt in danger for myself or my children. Now, a .380 isn't necessarily going to kill, but it can and it will certainly stop a person. I have larger caliber weapons, but the LCP is the most comfortable for my smaller frame to carry.


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## Want2babettrme (May 17, 2013)

Eighteen. It was with the first girl I fell in love with. We were in college. She was a senior and I was a freshman. I felt like I was way behind compared to my peers. Now I don't think I was emotionally mature enough for a long term relationship. I was needy and she was manipulative and controlling. Not a healthy combination.

Edited to add that around ages nine or ten under coercion from an older boy in the neighborhood there was fondling, pathetic efforts at oral and anal(mostly receptive on my part). I really don't consider this part of my sexual history, but more of a very nasty period of being bullied.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

I wasn't confident in my youth, so my first time was at 20 at the (drunk) girl's invitation, and I wouldn't repeat it if I went back in time. My son is not even 2 yet, but I know already that I will teach him to value himself and to have confidence (which are not antithetical to respect for women, which he must also have). Hopefully he'll get a lot more out of his youth than I did.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

This is a bit personal but here goes.

My first sexual encounter was at age 9. It was not by choice. Enough said.

My first consensual encounter was at age 19 and honestly, it sucked. That experience at age 9 really set me back. Sex did not become what it was supposed to be until my late 20's.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

MyHappyPlace said:


> State laws vary regarding this. Az laws (where I am) allow the use of deadly force to stop OR PREVENT commission of specific violent crimes, including murder, rape, armed robbery and child molestation. The statue also allows for a person who reasonably believes that he or another person is in danger of serious harm or death to use deadly force.
> 
> We also just did away with our concealed permits a few years back. I almost ALWAYS carry a .380 Ruger LCP on me and would have no hesitation in using it if I felt in danger for myself or my children. Now, a .380 isn't necessarily going to kill, but it can and it will certainly stop a person. I have larger caliber weapons, but the LCP is the most comfortable for my smaller frame to carry.


OK, but I think you should consider the following line of thought:

Deadly force is only authorized if certain conditions are met, which you touched on. If you do not believe those conditions exist, you are not authorized to fire your gun, or even to display your gun.

If you shoot the perp in the torso or head, you are probably trying to stop him. If you intentionally shoot him in the hand or you fire a warning shot, it is obvious that you did not believe deadly force was necessary to stop him. If you did believe it was necessary, you would have shot him in a more effective location.

I know this is a legal technicality, but it is the one the prosecutor will hang you on. You will by self admission prove you did not yet believe the circumstances rose to that level justifying the use of lethal force.

Remember, make no statement to the police other than "I feared for my life" or something similar. Then ask to go to the ER. You will be in shock. You will not be able to make a clear complete and accurate statement for about 24 to 36 hours. So say nothing to the police until you have decompressed and talked to a lawyer.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I was 17. The lady who made me a man was in her mid 30s. She lived down the road. It snowed and school was cancelled. I was driving by her house and she was out by the road. She had slid into the dirt culvert when she turned into her driveway. The car was stuck with its back bumper stuck in the embankment. I had a truck and a chain so I got down in the slop and hooked it to her front axle and pulled her car out. 

She invited me inside, told me to get out of the muddy wet clothes and jump in the shower. She threw my clothes in the washer and when I got out of the shower she had a terry cloth robe for me that was two sizes to small (of course). She made hot tea and we sat on her couch while she built a fire. Talked a little. Next thing I know she was on me like a puma. 

On the couch, on the floor, in her bed, on the dresser..... In four hours she introduced me to just about 80% of all the positions known to Western civilization. 

I wish there had been more snow days like that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> I was 17. The lady who made me a man was in her mid 30s.
> On the couch, on the floor, in her bed, on the dresser..... In four hours she introduced me to just about 80% of all the positions known to Western civilization. _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow. I would go back in time and relive everything from age 17 on if this experience were included.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

My first PIV was in College at the age of 21 but I started much earlier in HS with BJs  

I grew up in a very strict Catholic , Filipino family with 8 years of parochial grade school then 4 years in a all girl high school. I guess i was the 'rebellious' type


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

First time (3rd attempt) was at 19 with my eventual wife. I say 3rd attempt because neither of us had a clue what we were doing. I was fumbling around blind, she was laying there like a board claiming she really had no idea where her vagina had gone.

Good times.


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## nxs450 (Apr 17, 2012)

I have a pretty interesting story. I was 9 years old the first time I tried having sex. I just learned about it from some older kids in our neighborhood. There was a girl and her brother that were my age and there parents both worked during the days. They had a babysitter that didn't show up half of the time so I would go over there and we basically did what ever we wanted to do. 

I don't remember what lead up to it but me and the other girl ended up in her parents bedroom. We both got naked and I lay on top of her and tried to put it in. I remember it being real dry and know go. She was only 8 and we were both scared so it ended right away. We put our clothes on and went back out.
Later on a rumor got around our neighborhood that we did it. 

One of the older girls (probably 12 or 13) that had told me about sex found out and started blackmailing me. She told me that she would tell my parents if I didn't do different sexual acts with her. I was scared to death that my parents would find out. At that age I thought it would be the end of the world if they did. lol So this older girl started having me fondle her breasts, (which I remember they were large she was already developed) a lot of kissing and some other things. I can still remember being so scared and exited at the same time.

About a year later we moved away. I was so relieved that the threat of my parents finding out was pretty much gone since we didn't live by her anymore.


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## nxs450 (Apr 17, 2012)

I thought I would add that I didn't even try again until I was 18.
It was with my girlfriend and it was successful. lol


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## BradWesley (May 24, 2013)

Oral - I was 12 years old. Growing up I had an interest in cars, and would hang out at a local service station. One late afternoon, I walked in and one of the guys, most were in their early 20's, asked how I was doing. I told him that today was my birthday. He then called out to Marie, the local neighborhood tramp, telling her that today is my birthday, and she should take me upstairs and give me a present. We climbed into the back seat of an old Chevy, and she said "Relax, you are going to like this." The car went up and my zipper went down. I was lucky if I lasted 3 minutes. When I got out of the car the guys were laughing and saying "Now that's a quickie"

Intercourse - I was 13. Ironically, it took place on the loading dock of a post office. Real romantic huh? Talk about fumbling around.


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## here2learn (Aug 23, 2012)

I didn't have sex (oral or intercourse) until 25. A combination of being a late bloomer and growing up in an ultra religious environment where pre-marital sex was frowned upon.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

I was 19 and the girl I was with was 24; we were office co-workers. 

We ended up having sex in the parking lot of an elementary school at night. She was experienced, so she took the lead on everything. At the time it happened, I wasn't prepared to have sex, it just sort of happened. She became really horny while we were making out, and the next thing I knew, she was on top of me, unzipping my pants. I remember her saying, "I just want to feel you inside of me. I won't move." I agreed to let her do it, and she began humping like crazy and I came really quickly... which dripped all over my car seats because I wasn't wearing a condom. I pulled out because I didn't want to get her pregnant. 

Geez, I knew nothing back then. Fortunately for me, I didn't get her pregnant or contract an STD. Then again, this was back in 1990 and STD's weren't as rampant as they are now.


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## ThereToo (Apr 15, 2012)

Again I feel like a bit outside the norm but I was actually 22! I mean I had little girlfriends when I was like 11 but we didn't know what we were doing...


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

I was 13, baby sitting the older womans kid accross the street...she caught me looking down her shirt, saw my instantatious erection, and took her shirt off...she let me touch her breasts, but not kiss them, didnt touch me or let me touch anywhere else...I had a wet dream that night...that was my first piece od tail LOL...shortly after that, freshman in highschool, I started dating, french kissing, touched some more boobies but below the waist region was apparently off limits until my senior year

lost my virginity at 16, in the back seat of an oldsmobile, parked behind the church she and I went to...left the damned headlights on and the battery died...had to push the car so it WASNT behind an obvious make-out spot and then walk to a payphone to call for help

my dad came and jumped the car, he knew damned well what id been up to

she and I had sex ALL the time, like rabbits...probably once every other day (says alot as we were both in highschool and lived 5 miles apart)...she was also my first oral sex experience and first (and last) anal sex experience...

I ended up breaking up after highschool and dating her older sister, who was officially my "first love"...dated for 5 years


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