# Wasn't Christmas 8 days ago? Venting



## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

STBXH went to Washington DC with his mistress for Christmas and returned on Dec. 27. He lives 20 blocks away and is self employeed so he could have stopped by or arranged a lunch or dinner to spend time with D13 over the last 6 days. (of course, he is MIA the whole time).

Last night, D13 asked "when is dad coming over to pick up his present from me"? (She was excited to find and buy a wall calendar she thought he would like and wrapped it). 

I am spitting mad but just say, "I am not sure. Why don't you call and talk to him and arrange a dinner/lunch to give him his presents:. (of course he does not answer)

Today I email the narcissist and here is what transpired:

Me: 
Happy New year! 
Please let me know when you will be able to pick up the bills delivered to my house and pickup your xmas gifts. D13 was excited to give you a gift.

Ex: Maybe later - no big deal - busy as hell today - have to go to work tonight going to get stiches out now

Me: 
Ok please don't forget - Xmas was 8 days ago and it is a big deal to D13.
Thank you

Ex:
Stop *****ing

Me:
DON'T speak to me like that again!!

Ex: 
I am sick I have to work I am not feeling well you don’t have to be nasty to me

Me:
I wasn't nasty, I am asking you when you can pick up a present your child bought for you for Christmas that was 8 days ago. You certainly had time for your girlfriend, why not make some time for your child?

EX:
Ok let me bring my feverish body over there and get everyone sick. I was in bed at 10 PM new yrs eve. Were you at a party? Happy? You are probably glad I am sick?

What a Self absorbed a**hole. 

Just needed to scream a bit


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Continued behavior like that will just alienate his daughter and he may come to regret that when it is too late. I understand spouses and soon-to-be-exs and exs being nasty to one another but it is hard to understand parents who are cavalier about children.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

FrustratedFL said:


> STBXH went to Washington DC with his mistress for Christmas and returned on Dec. 27. He lives 20 blocks away and is self employeed so he could have stopped by or arranged a lunch or dinner to spend time with D13 over the last 6 days. (of course, he is MIA the whole time).
> 
> Last night, D13 asked "when is dad coming over to pick up his present from me"? (She was excited to find and buy a wall calendar she thought he would like and wrapped it).
> 
> ...


A normal person would realize to let his kid know he was sick, and to arrange for a time when feeling better. You know he's just BS. People don't change after divorce. They are still the same people. Which is why we wanted to split from them. Better off with no visits than whiny ones with someone who clearly doesn't want to parent in any way shape or form. What does he think you would do if you were ill? Stop being a mother? Duuuuuuuuh.


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## FrustratedFL (May 18, 2011)

Thanks for your replies...

I am so glad that people see what a jerk this man is to his child. After putting up with so much and dealing with so many lies, betrayal and being an absentee dad, I sometimes have to question if it is just my interpretation. 

Of course; after this email he never called or texted D13 to explain nor did he stop by to pick up. (Shocked.. not in the least)

What an A$$HOLE!

He will regret this in the long run. D13 is starting to see his flaws and is starting to make comments.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Frustrated, I know only too well what you and your D13 are going through. Be prepared that it might get worse. When my ex left he moved to another state. He saw the kids about every month and a half at the beginning. Then it tapered off. Then it was nine months with no visitation and limited contact. You have to be there for your daughter. Don't speak badly about him and if she asks, suggest that she try to contact him directly. Eventually, she will know the kind of man he is and she will make her own decision of the extent of involvement she wants to demand. Kids are smarter than they should have to be when parents divorce.
And yes, he is a jerk.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

I know you want to save your daughter from pain, but you can't. Her father is a self-absorbed jerk. 

Let their relationship take its natural course. Be a loving, involved, supportive mom and she will be OK.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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