# How Does One Find a Reputable Polygraph Examiner?



## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

I've read a ton of threads on TAM and I've seen a lot of advice to demand that the potential or definite Wayward Spouse take a polygraph test.

I've also read around the internet that the reliability of polygraph results are directly tied to the skill and professionalism of the examiner.

How does one determine whether a given examiner is "The real deal"?

Are there certifications, specific experience or qualifications that one should look for? 

What are the criteria? How can one check?

I've searched here and I cannot find the answer.

***

Also, can someone describe what one should expect? How many questions, the type of questions, how they are phrased etc.

Is there a place where I can see example questions that one might expect to be asked in a relationship polygraph?

And any other information, especially from persons who have actual experience would be appreciated!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

My advice is to not waste your money on a polygraph test. They are not reliable. So what you end up with is some answers that you paid a good bit of money for but that you will doubt.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

A polygraph test is as reliable as visiting a Tarot Card Reader, they're both nonsense and a waste of money.


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## Kamstel (Apr 25, 2018)

I happen to believe in the tests. There is a reason why the FBI and security agencies use them.

Plus, I also believe that if the cheater knows that the consequences for failing the test is divorce, you are very likely to hear a parking lot confession.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

What's your story you haven't posted it. Just about looking for evidence.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Kamstel said:


> I happen to believe in the tests. There is a reason why the FBI and security agencies use them.
> 
> Plus, I also believe that if the cheater knows that the consequences for failing the test is divorce, you are very likely to hear a parking lot confession.


Polygraphs can be useful in certain situations,with a professional examiner who asks hundreds of questions a pattern can emerge where the subject in question can be shown to be lying or at least reluctant to tell the full truth.
In the situation that the op is inquiring about,normally only four or five questions are asked and it is a pointless exercise.You may get the parking lot confession but you may as well be reading tea leaves for all the use they are.
This is coming from someone who has built them.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

I know that people debate this a lot. 

I have some knowledge about this area. And in a relationship, infidelity situation, they are VERY useful.

Yes some people can beat a poly. Sociopaths, insane people, and HIGHLY trained intelligence operatives. 

Otherwise, a regular person will FAIL a polygraph. 

Further, for OP, any reputable poly service should be able to do the job. Why would they be in that business, for long anyway, if they were not competent. 

People want to harp on the fact that they are not admissible in court, OK. But these situations are not a court of law. 

What you are trying to find out is one thing, TRUTHFULLNESS. Or deceit. 

You may not get full answers, but you will know that they are lying...


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

Andy1001 said:


> Polygraphs can be useful in certain situations,with a professional examiner who asks hundreds of questions a pattern can emerge where the subject in question can be shown to be lying or at least reluctant to tell the full truth.


You are perhaps one of the most qualified examiners yourself. You have seen "emerging patterns". You know this person very well. Before you waste a lot of time and a lot of money, just ask yourself about the "emerging patterns".... 



BluesPower said:


> What you are trying to find out is one thing, TRUTHFULLNESS. Or deceit.


The other thing you really, really want to know is if this person wants to keep his/her marriage....or is he/she willing to throw it away by putting forth no effort to actually rectify the problems. This points to the basic truth, as to whether you should try to "stay" or "go".

Confront the cheater, wait for the response. A void response indicates there is another source of getting his/her needs supplied.

Another reliable judgement comes from the response to the confrontation and the aftermath you bring to it. "Give them enough rope"....if you act in "belief" to the response, what happens? After an interim period which can easily be deceptive, what does the cheater do? Does he/she repatriate him/herself to the marriage?..... or, become bolder and more brazen ?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Kamstel is dead on...its the fear and trepidation of the polygraph to a cheater that will often give up the info prior to the actual event.....it is psychological tool, that being the threat of taking a polygraph


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

I know of two posters who made their spouses take polygraphs and have never returned here to tell us what happen...this one poster talked it up for weeks and weeks and then disappeared. and the other one just a week ago.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Lostinthought61 said:


> I know of two posters who made their spouses take polygraphs and have never returned here to tell us what happen...this one poster talked it up for weeks and weeks and then disappeared. and the other one just a week ago.


So what do you think that means... 

I am cynical so I think it mean that 1) they discovered way more than they wanted to know and it freaked them out, and/or 2) Everyone that said their spouse was having an affair, was right, and they are freaked out...

There could be other reasons, but cynical me thinks the above...


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

See f you can find who local law enforcement uses to do their polygraphs. Talk to them and see how many questions they ask. Many people have used the tests here with good results.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Let me preface this by saying I am not a sociopath 

Because of some former work I did, I had occasion to be a practice subject for training purposes. I beat the test lol. 

And as we all know from reading some of my posts, I am given to emotion.

So do with that what you will.


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

Read the book "Spy the Lie". It gives very specific information on how to recognize indicators of deception. It is not a substitute for a polygraph, but the tools can be really helpful.

A polygraph can be useful, but only in perhaps 2 situations. First, if your spouse is actively working hard at fixing the marriage and is quite willing to do the polygraph. Maybe they cheated or did something which appears to be cheating but wasn't. The other situation would be when a spouse is caught with something and is pretending to be honest, but you sense there is more there they are still lying about. This spouse would not be welcoming of the polygraph but may be playing a high stakes game of chicken with you. In this situation the polygraph can elicit a full(er) confession and possibly jump start reconciliation.

However, imho the second scenario is better served by filing divorce. That is another longer discussion, but if you're in this boat the polygraph isn't the magic bullet you may be hoping for.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Everyone, thank you for your perspectives, opinions and advice.

I understand that the idea of a looming polygraph may be more useful than the polygraph itself, but I am not dismissive of the idea that a polygraph may yield important truths.

However, even after all the valuable information above that you have shared with me, I still don't know how to separate the pros from the Regular Joes.

How would I find out who law enforcement uses?

I have not made any decisions yet I am in research and contemplation mode.

***

What it appears like to me is that making a potential or certain wayward spouse take a polygraph test is something that is often bandied about but rarely actually done.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Kamstel said:


> I happen to believe in the tests. There is a reason why the FBI and security agencies use them.
> 
> Plus, I also believe that if the cheater knows that the consequences for failing the test is divorce, you are very likely to hear a parking lot confession.


This is a very important aspect of the polygraph strategy.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

BluesPower said:


> So what do you think that means...
> 
> I am cynical so I think it mean that 1) they discovered way more than they wanted to know and it freaked them out, and/or 2) Everyone that said their spouse was having an affair, was right, and they are freaked out...
> 
> There could be other reasons, but cynical me thinks the above...


or number 3. their spouse was telling the truth and they were embarrassed to come back....but i suspect that number 1 may have been more to the point....but we will never know unless they come back.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

sokillme said:


> What's your story you haven't posted it. Just about looking for evidence.


I am not ready to share my story yet, and I am not certain when or if I will ever be ready to share it.

I hope this does not stop anyone from replying with what they feel may be helpful information, but I understand if they feel that way.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Lostinthought61 said:


> or number 3. their spouse was telling the truth and they were embarrassed to come back....but i suspect that number 1 may have been more to the point....but we will never know unless they come back.


You know, I am sure that must happen, right? 

Although, I have yet to see it after all these years. If the BS thought or wondered if they were cheating, they were cheating...


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> Polygraphs can be useful in certain situations,with a professional examiner who asks hundreds of questions a pattern can emerge where the subject in question can be shown to be lying or at least reluctant to tell the full truth.
> In the situation that the op is inquiring about,normally only four or five questions are asked and it is a pointless exercise.You may get the parking lot confession but you may as well be reading tea leaves for all the use they are.
> *This is coming from someone who has built them.*


You build polygraph machines? Used in law enforcement, security settings and the like?

It is interesting to me that you build them yet do not believe in their usefulness.

Can you elaborate please?


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Lostinthought61 said:


> I know of two posters who made their spouses take polygraphs and have never returned here to tell us what happen...this one poster talked it up for weeks and weeks and then disappeared. and the other one just a week ago.


Would you share this information with me either in this thread or by PM please?


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Chaparral said:


> See f you can find who local law enforcement uses to do their polygraphs. Talk to them and see how many questions they ask. Many people have used the tests here with good results.


How do I go about learning who local law enforcement uses to administer polygraphs?

Can you point me toward any examples of people who have used tests here with useful results? I've read a ton of threads on the TAM infidelity section, including a lot of the most posted-to "epic threads", and I have not come across any examples myself.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> *Let me preface this by saying I am not a sociopath *


That's exactly what a sociopath would say! ;-)


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

"How do I go about learning who local law enforcement uses to administer polygraphs?"

Um… how do you think you find out? You go there or call them and ask. You're going to have to do some legwork yourself, OP


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> "How do I go about learning who local law enforcement uses to administer polygraphs?"
> 
> Um… how do you think you find out? You go there or call them and ask. You're going to have to do some legwork yourself, OP


Um...I have no problem doing any legwork myself.

I am not sure what it is like where you live, but I am not going to be able to walk into my local police precinct and ask that question of the person manning the front desk. And they are not going to spend time putting me in touch with a detective who will inform me about polygraph tests for my relationship.

Nor do I have access to the local FBI office to discuss this matter.

I am surmising that you have not actually tried this for yourself.

But thanks for your response anyway.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

faithfulman said:


> You build polygraph machines? Used in law enforcement, security settings and the like?
> 
> It is interesting to me that you build them yet do not believe in their usefulness.
> 
> Can you elaborate please?


I don’t build polygraph machines but I built them as projects when I was younger,the company I worked for built them and were always trying to improve their technology.
The first machines were very basic,measuring heart rate,breathing rate and body temperature.The idea was that when you lied your oxygen intake would increase and your perspiration level and heart rate would rise.By measuring breath rate,pulse and skin resistance a result was achieved.This works on the same theory that an electric shock is more dangerous if your wet or standing in water,because wet skin has a lower resistance then more current will flow.
Modern ones work on brain waves,eye pupil enlargement,and again skin resistance.Cat scans and MRI scans can be used as well as body movement measuring devices.
I have never seen one yet that I couldn’t fool,at least for a while.
Like I said earlier if the subject is asked hundreds of questions a pattern may emerge but this is also dependent on how the subject reacts to everyday stressful situations.
If you are capable of getting angry just by thinking about a past injustice then you can fool a polygraph for enough time to pass an infidelity test.
People who claim to have been tested for work or security clearances don’t really understand what is happening.They are not being assessed as liars but more to see how they would react in a given situation.
Its not an exact science.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

@faithfulman

A polygrapher will only be asking about 2 to 5 questions. What are the questions you want asked?


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

faithfulman said:


> Um...I have no problem doing any legwork myself.
> 
> I am not sure what it is like where you live, but I am not going to be able to walk into my local police precinct and ask that question of the person manning the front desk. And they are not going to spend time putting me in touch with a detective who will inform me about polygraph tests for my relationship.
> 
> ...


I walked in to the local police station. I told the front desk receptionist that I needed to inquire about who to go to for a polygraph. I explained why I was asking and that I really wanted to know who they used to make sure it was a good person. She had me wait. Eventually an officer came out and called me back. I told him what I told the receptionist. He told me their procedure and answered my question. He told me who might be likely to do a private one and who would probably only work with agencies.

So yeah.....I did the legwork without knowing "how."

I have also read on another forum that people have just called their local precinct to ask.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> @faithfulman
> 
> A polygrapher will only be asking about 2 to 5 questions. What are the questions you want asked?


Hi EleGirl, I am concerned my questions will be poorly designed. My guess is that there is nothing rare about the type of questions I would want answered, so there may be examples or templates for them, constructed in an airtight way that can be answered yes or no.

*Having said that, here go the questions I think are most important:*



Have you had sexual intercourse or any type of inappropriate physical contact with any man at any point during your relationship with Faithfulman other than the incidents Faithfulman is currently aware of?
Have you had any secret discussions, interactions, or meetings with another man, that could be construed as romantic or inappropriate, that Faithfulman is not aware of?
Have you made any plans to meet, speak, or interact with another man that Faithfulman is not aware of?


What does the panel think? Any suggestions to tweak these or additional relevant questions?


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

personofinterest said:


> I walked in to the local police station. I told the front desk receptionist that I needed to inquire about who to go to for a polygraph. I explained why I was asking and that I really wanted to know who they used to make sure it was a good person. She had me wait. Eventually an officer came out and called me back. I told him what I told the receptionist. He told me their procedure and answered my question. He told me who might be likely to do a private one and who would probably only work with agencies.
> 
> So yeah.....I did the legwork without knowing "how."
> 
> I have also read on another forum that people have just called their local precinct to ask.


Thanks for the reply. I will give it a shot. However, I live in a huge city with a very busy police force, and they generally won't even expend time or effort on crimes such as petty theft, identity theft, even domestic violence etc. let alone relationship issues

If anyone else has any ideas and can share it without being condescending or combative that would be most appreciated.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Question to might be a problem, as it will be hard to evaluate an answer of whether or not "something can be construed as romantic," if that makes sense. If you changed that to "with romantic intent" it would be clearer. How things are construed depends more on the person construing than the person doing.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

faithfulman said:


> Hi EleGirl, I am concerned my questions will be poorly designed. My guess is that there is nothing rare about the type of questions I would want answered, so there may be examples or templates for them, constructed in an airtight way that can be answered yes or no.
> 
> *Having said that, here go the questions I think are most important:*
> 
> ...


Not clear enough. What does "inappropriate mean"? That's subjective. What incidents do are you aware of? If she believes that you know everything, then her answer of "no" would be the truth. She might assume that you know more than she has told you about. In that case a "no" answer is the truth from her perspective.



faithfulman said:


> Have you had any secret discussions, interactions, or meetings with another man, that could be construed as romantic or inappropriate, that Faithfulman is not aware of?


"Secret"? That's subjective. Secret from whom? If she told a friend about it, it's not secret. So a "no" response is not a lie.



faithfulman said:


> Have you made any plans to meet, speak, or interact with another man that Faithfulman is not aware of?


Wow, I've never cheated. But I've made plenty of plans to meet, speak or interact with a man other than my husband. I did it just about every day at work, for my job. I did it when I made appointments to see a male doctor, etc.

https://centralpolygraph.com/infidelity-and-relationship-polygraph-test/

Since (SPECIFIC DATE), besides (SPECIFIC NAME), have you engaged in sexual intercourse with anyone else?
Since (SPECIFIC DATE), besides (SPECIFIC NAME), have you engaged in oral sex with anyone else?
Since (SPECIFIC DATE), besides (SPECIFIC NAME), have you engaged in French kissing with anyone else?
Have you ever engaged in any type of sexual activity with (SPECIFIC NAME)?
Since (SPECIFIC DATE), have you communicated in any way with (SPECIFIC NAME)?
Have you ever utilized any pay-for-sex type service?
Since (SPECIFIC DATE), have you met in-person with anyone from the ****** ******* website?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

faithfulman said:


> Hi EleGirl, I am concerned my questions will be poorly designed. My guess is that there is nothing rare about the type of questions I would want answered, so there may be examples or templates for them, constructed in an airtight way that can be answered yes or no.
> 
> *Having said that, here go the questions I think are most important:*
> 
> ...


From reading between the lines and the tone of your posts would I be correct in assuming this isn’t the first time the subject in question has cheated or attempted to?
If a previous transgression was forgiven then in my opinion the cheat should be completely open in everything they do and should actively prove to their partner that they are innocent of any thoughts or actions of cheating.
If you do decide to go down the polygraph road then don’t allow the person in question any leeway at all.Until you pull into the parking lot of the testing center don’t even mention a polygraph,this ensures that no research will be done in regards to fooling the test.
I don’t know where you live but a simple google search will provide you with names of companies or individuals who will carry out the test.
In regards to the questions asked you could always think outside the box in your approach.In other words instead of asking have you had sexual relations with anyone other than your partner you could ask HOW MANY men have you had sex with in the last year/month or whatever.
You could ask how many times have you behaved in a way your husband would deem inappropriate.
I would urge caution in what you accept as true from the results though.


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

faithfulman said:


> I've read a ton of threads on TAM and I've seen a lot of advice to demand that the potential or definite Wayward Spouse take a polygraph test.
> 
> I've also read around the internet that the reliability of polygraph results are directly tied to the skill and professionalism of the examiner.
> 
> ...



IMO, if you're even thinking of invoking a polygraph, then the level of trust in the relationship is too far gone to bother putting any more effort into it.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

These organisations should be able to help:-

https://www.polygraph.org/
https://www.britishpolygraphassociation.org/
British & European Polygraph Association (BEPA)
https://www.nationalpolygraph.org/
Polygraph Organizations and Information Listing
Partner Links | Polygraph by Lafayette Instrument Company
https://npea.memberclicks.net/login?servId=2774
Welcome to California Association of Polygraph Examiners Website


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

DustyDog said:


> IMO, if you're even thinking of invoking a polygraph, then the level of trust in the relationship is too far gone to bother putting any more effort into it.


Not always the case.

For example if the cheater or suspected cheater suggests that they take a polygraph.


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## Mizzbak (Sep 10, 2016)

Speaking as someone who asked her husband to take a polygraph and found it helpful when he did so:
This is between you and your spouse. You will read TAM opinions facing you in every direction. You don't need to justify this decision, or you need for more of any kind of information, to anyone. But it is a decision that you will need to make with your spouse. They must be willing to participate, not be coerced into it. You cannot "spring" a polygraph on anyone - a reputable examiner will establish right up-front that the subject agrees to the test. A reputable examiner will also talk you through beforehand what the test can or cannot show. If you've done any reading online, you'll already have some idea of what those limitations are. 

My experience is that the process will feel sordid and sad. But it will not break your marriage. Anymore than the behaviour that has preceded it. (Our hearts, and the relationships they hold dear, are far tougher than we can imagine.) But you should know that, even if the outcome is a "good"' one, it will not make the doubts go away. But if you are both open to it, it can be the start of something more honest and open. When I first made the request of my husband, it was a shock to him and he laughed it off. But when he reached the point of acknowledging how little trust I had left in him; and the right I had to that position, he offered himself to take it. And I appreciated that. This was a major turning point for both of us.

Do I know 100% that he wasn't lying then too? That he didn't find some way to fool the test? No. Not at all. But, the balance of probabilities, facts that emerged later and his behaviour since have supported that he was telling the truth. So even if the test was Dumbo's feather, it got me to the point where I was willing to consider the possibility of trusting enough to try again. And I do not and cannot regret that. My advice to myself back then would be what I am telling you - it was helpful. If you both agree to it. And if you acknowledge its limitations. I can appreciate the parking lot confession argument here, but I can also say that my husband taking this test sits near the vasectomy bucket for me. i.e. not exactly a great experience for him, but done for the health of our relationship. Not out of resentment and/or fear. But out of commitment. (At least that's how I've chosen to see it with hindsight.) 

As to the practicalities:
Try Google searching for polygraph + infidelity in your nearest big city. Phone and talk to the agencies you find. Ask about the process and what it costs. I was lucky enough to find more than one good lead - and I chose the one where I felt a rapport with the examiner. Who had a practice far larger than just "domestic issues". He was very frank with me about how it worked and what I would likely feel after the test. And what my husband would experience. He was very matter-of-fact. Which helped me enormously. And (even more so than TAM) made me realize that, huge as it felt to me, we weren't going through anything that a million other couples hadn't already survived and flourished after. Even if some of them had done that flourishing apart. 

Good luck.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Be careful of posts that leave no room for a test like this to be useful in any way.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> These organisations should be able to help:-
> 
> https://www.polygraph.org/
> https://www.britishpolygraphassociation.org/
> ...


Thank you Matt Matt, this is exactly the kind of information I was looking for.

I had Googled quite a bit before I started this thread, but I think this is a better starting point.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> Not always the case.
> 
> For example if the cheater or suspected cheater suggests that they take a polygraph.


That is actually similar to my case. I brought it up, she has enthusiastically agreed that it is a good idea, and has brought it up of her own volition since.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Mizzbak said:


> Speaking as someone who asked her husband to take a polygraph and found it helpful when he did so:
> This is between you and your spouse. You will read TAM opinions facing you in every direction. You don't need to justify this decision, or you need for more of any kind of information, to anyone. But it is a decision that you will need to make with your spouse. They must be willing to participate, not be coerced into it. You cannot "spring" a polygraph on anyone - a reputable examiner will establish right up-front that the subject agrees to the test. A reputable examiner will also talk you through beforehand what the test can or cannot show. If you've done any reading online, you'll already have some idea of what those limitations are.
> 
> My experience is that the process will feel sordid and sad. But it will not break your marriage. Anymore than the behaviour that has preceded it. (Our hearts, and the relationships they hold dear, are far tougher than we can imagine.) But you should know that, even if the outcome is a "good"' one, it will not make the doubts go away. But if you are both open to it, it can be the start of something more honest and open. When I first made the request of my husband, it was a shock to him and he laughed it off. But when he reached the point of acknowledging how little trust I had left in him; and the right I had to that position, he offered himself to take it. And I appreciated that. This was a major turning point for both of us.
> ...


It is great to read a point of view from somebody who has actually been down this road.

Both your perspective and advice are invaluable.

Thank you for the input Mizzbak.


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## faithfulman (Jun 4, 2018)

Decorum said:


> Be careful of posts that leave no room for a test like this to be useful in any way.


Roger that!


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

faithfulman said:


> Roger that!


The Jeremy Kyle TV show in the UK uses the same polygraph operator as they have since the series started.

They have designed a system that works very well for the show. After the initial questions designed to provide a base reading they always ask these three questions, or slight variations of them:-

1) Since your marriage to wife/husband have you ever passionately kissed another person?
2) Since your marriage to wife/husband have you ever had any sexual contact with another person?
3) Since your marriage to wife/husband have you ever had sexual intercourse with any other person?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Search her web history for anything that looks like “how to beat a polygraph”.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Duplicate post.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> Let me preface this by saying I am not a sociopath
> 
> Because of some former work I did, I had occasion to be a practice subject for training purposes. I beat the test lol.
> 
> ...


You beat it because you had nothing at steak.

You had no meat in it 'atall'.

You did not feel the heat, did not smell your words burning before you spoke them.

If they had asked personal questions that you did not want to answer, you would have flinched. 
Your goose would have been cooked.

A quiver of a eyelash, away, would have been given.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

faithfulman said:


> That is actually similar to my case. I brought it up, she has enthusiastically agreed that it is a good idea, and has brought it up of her own volition since.


Just be aware that liars can and do beat such tests and honest people who are telling the truth also fail such tests.

So your wife could tell the absolute truth, when answering the questions and fail. Just as she could lie with abandon, and pass such a test.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Kamstel said:


> I happen to believe in the tests. There is a reason why the FBI and security agencies use them.
> 
> Plus, I also believe that if the cheater knows that the consequences for failing the test is divorce, you are very likely to hear a parking lot confession.


I completely agree. This is what everyone fails to realize when the subject of a poly comes up. The* intimidation* factor it has on a cheater.

Personally, I wouldn't invest another *minute* in a man I have to drag to a polygraph office just to TRY to get some damn truth out of him. There isn't a man on this planet worth having to resort to that.

However, for those who want to reconcile at all costs (because they're financially dependent on their cheater or they're doing it 'for the kids,' etc. etc.) and feel they need a poly for their own peace of mind, I say go for it. Of course a poly isn't foolproof or considered exact science, everyone knows that.

HOWEVER, for the common cheater who lives a normal everyday existence (and not a cop or government worker who is familiar with polys and has taken them etc.), the thought of sitting in the hot seat and being hooked up to all kinds of wires on a polygraph machine while being questioned about what they KNOW they've been *lying* about, well that's just intimidating as HELL. I'd be intimidated even if I knew I wasn't lying about anything.

That's the magic of a poly. The intimidation factor. It's made more than one cheater sing like a canary when they knew they were about to be exposed.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

faithfulman said:


> How do I go about learning who local law enforcement uses to administer polygraphs?
> 
> Can you point me toward any examples of people who have used tests here with useful results? I've read a ton of threads on the TAM infidelity section, including a lot of the most posted-to "epic threads", and I have not come across any examples myself.


Go to whatever agency is near you and ask. Ask an attorney who they use. You need to talk to one anyway to see what your options are. Over the years there have been quite a few people who have “used polygraphs”. The most common reaction to the request is go eff yourself. That is an admission right there.

The fact you are here, unfortunately, means there is ver a 90% chance you are being cheated on. 

If you are concerned about an ongoing problem there are many tools to catch a cheater although work related affairs a real a ***** to catch.

Something in the past would medicate a polygraph. Would your partner agree to one?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> You beat it because you had nothing at steak.
> 
> You had no meat in it 'atall'.
> 
> ...


With respect,you are barking up the wrong tree.(Nod to red dog)
This is how you think you will catch a liar but it doesn’t work like that.You talk about flinching when a personal question is asked but most people dislike answering personal questions.
If an examiner asked you how often you masturbate,how often do you watch porn etc then of course you will be uncomfortable whether you answer truthfully or not.
Polygraph is about as accurate as phrenology and future generations will look at both practices as equally ridiculous.


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## SnowToArmPits (Jan 2, 2016)

I won't argue that polygraphs are infallible. Personal experience is it helped my marriage.

There's a thread on SI posted today where the OP's WW swore to one affair and no others. After a few months the OP did not believe his wife, scheduled an exam. She passed the questions regarding the known affair. Failed about there being other affairs. As a result she admitted to another ONS and an emotional affair. To our OP, of course your mileage may vary. Best of luck.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

SnowToArmPits said:


> I won't argue that polygraphs are infallible. Personal experience is it helped my marriage.
> 
> There's a thread on SI posted today where the OP's WW swore to one affair and no others. After a few months the OP did not believe his wife, scheduled an exam. She passed the questions regarding the known affair. Failed about there being other affairs. As a result she admitted to another ONS and an emotional affair. To our OP, of course your mileage may vary. Best of luck.


I read that same thread over there and thought about this thread! 

You have all these naysayers claiming polys are a 'waste of money' and it's 'ineffective' and all this other nonsense and yet, just LOOK what this guy found out for his $500. That his lying wife is a serial cheater and she's a remorseless phony whose been faking 'remorse' (another thing I post about often) for the last 4 months and he believed her dog and pony show. 

Sadly, he'll likely continue clinging to her like grim death even *after* having told her numerous times before the poly that he would divorce her if any more lies or cheating were exposed.

I can almost guarantee he'll fold. Most do, over there. Pitiful.


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## DustyDog (Jul 12, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Not always the case.
> 
> For example if the cheater or suspected cheater suggests that they take a polygraph.


Doesn't change my view. Once either side resorts to "needing proof", then the level of trust in the relationship has probably fallen to an irreparably low level.


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## Txquail (Feb 21, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I read that same thread over there and thought about this thread!
> 
> You have all these naysayers claiming polys are a 'waste of money' and it's 'ineffective' and all this other nonsense and yet, just LOOK what this guy found out for his $500. That his lying wife is a serial cheater and she's a remorseless phony whose been faking 'remorse' (another thing I post about often) for the last 4 months and he believed her dog and pony show.
> 
> ...


Your right he'll never leave her. I told him shes using him as a safety blanket and he says shes really remorseful. Shes done all this stuff .... only after she got caught. She even admitted there were other men and she was going to take it to her grave.

Over the weekend she admitted sc he *****d herself out to three men and he says on that forum she's learned her lesson.

Hes got a serial cheater and wont leave.


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