# There I was



## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

There i was, 
thinking i had myself in a good enough place of mind
to let it go, but a tiny 9yr old voice keeps reminding me of what this was supposed to be. 
hell i cant make her want this, SHE messed up, SHE had the EA, SHE thinks life will just go on and none of this will affect anyone but herself. "I have to live with my choices good or bad.."
the Epitome of selfishness to the end.

never would listen to me about debt and controlling the spending, and now I have to find a place, financing, with all that time afforded me to hurry up...
I sit at work and think to myself I can do this. 
I can get past this, and move on. Shes not worth me.
But then that little person is there, saying tuck me in.
In the quiet evening hours i hear through the walls my wife laughing again at something on t.v. I ask myself How can she laugh right now? At anything?
Somehow I am to unravel the intertwined, bold faced and smiling as well?
all those plans. all those days of happiness nowhere to be found in her.
And even a living reminder in the form of a little human being, is not enough to sway reconsideration.

i talked to a real estate agent today. carving another step in this marble cliffside I face. I sure hope there is warmth wayyy up there atop of it.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Just keep staring at that 9 year old, and keep listening to her beautiful voice with that loving heart. And remember....

Yes, there's always warmth "up there". Sometimes it just takes a while to climb that cliff.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Indy Nial (Sep 26, 2010)

I've been following your story and I am in your shoes, my wife is on paxil and we have 7 year old. I filed for divorce in January and felt happy that it was the right thing. I still do but you will have weeks of "this can't be happening" and hope she snaps out of it. 

Logic and objectivity is your friend, this isn't your wife anymore, she has become someone else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

It's hard to believe when looking at your child who knows nothing. Just keep being there for her, man. I'm in the same shoes. My son is half of my strength.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Indy Nial said:


> Logic and objectivity is your friend, this isn't your wife anymore, she has become someone else.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

She can act that way because she wasn't the one who was betrayed, so she can't know the agony that you feel. She also has no empathy. That's how.


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## ahhhmaaaan! (Mar 26, 2011)

I have no children of my own, but its crazy to think that one parent really has the best interest of the child in mind, while the other one is in fantasy land fulfilling their own selfish needs without paying no mind at the damage this is having on said child in the long run. I give much props to those parents who keep it together even through such adversity... much love to all you.


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