# Completely Lost



## tryinmyhardest (9 mo ago)

Hello! This feels so crazy so please reserve judgment.
After 17 years, I finally asked for a divorce from my husband. My kids and I were ridiculously unhappy and he was verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive. The kids and I were doing incredible the first couple of weeks, but then my sister unexpectedly died and everything fell into chaos.

Since she died, I have been mourning my marriage as well. I turned to him to find out he didn’t want to bother with me because he had moved on with his new girlfriend already and he was too busy for his kids, but I better not withold them. My kids are teens, and are doing amazing! I’m all over the place.

Now I find myself in regret and wishing I never made this choice. It would have been easier I feel like on all of us if I just kept putting up with it. I wish I could just go back but there’s too much done since that I can’t. I’m still in love with him, and he does not care and makes it a point to make sure I know that without me having to do anything. I know that these feelings in my mind are ridiculous and we are better off. But inwards, I’m being torn apart, can’t eat, can’t sleep, and can’t stop crying.

I can’t figure out why this is so hard and I’m feeling all of this despite knowing it’s best to leave and not go back. We’re all far better off without him and I have a ridiculously incredible support system, but I still feel this way. Is anyone else going through this? Is there any advice, or any input? I know I’m dumb for thinking and feeling these things, I just don’t know how to get through them.


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## TedFL (9 mo ago)

tryinmyhardest said:


> Hello! This feels so crazy so please reserve judgment.
> After 17 years, I finally asked for a divorce from my husband. My kids and I were ridiculously unhappy and he was verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive. The kids and I were doing incredible the first couple of weeks, but then my sister unexpectedly died and everything fell into chaos.
> 
> Since she died, I have been mourning my marriage as well. I turned to him to find out he didn’t want to bother with me because he had moved on with his new girlfriend already and he was too busy for his kids, but I better not withold them. My kids are teens, and are doing amazing! I’m all over the place.
> ...


I joined today. Can’t eat sleep or stop crying either. She WAS my best friend everything. Lost.


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