# Help! Need advice!



## acs1girl (Jun 29, 2012)

I am in a dilema. I have been with my fiance for six years. We have a 2 and a half year old daughter together. We are supposed to be getting married next march and things have just started going sour. We have definitely had our ups and downs in the six years of being together. After all, being with me isn't easy. I am indeed hot headed and stubborn and basically am a spoiled brat that has to have things her way. Do not get me wrong, I was not always like this. Before I got pregnant, things were great. Then he lost his job and started waiting on me hand and foot to make up for it (especially since I was pregnant and working). I got used to that life (can you really blame me) and it has definitely taken its toll. 

In a nut shell, he is basically sick of it. He wanted it to be done he says. I begged and pleaded for him not to go. After making threats about not ever coming back, that i would just leave, he finally decided to stay. He agreed to try and work things out provided I change. 

I have been trying (and believe me it has been hard) to make it so we dont fight or argue. Its exhausting. I feel like I have done a damn good job. I have sent him an email of how i felt instead of confronting him and told him to respond with his feelings. You would think if he felt the same it wouldn't be a problem. It's been a few days already and he is getting upset with me because I keep asking. I am insecure, i feel unloved, he's pushing me away, and so much more is running through my head. If I had the time and space I could keep going, but just know the problems do not end here.

I have been reading articles on how to save our relationship, keys to a happy marriage, stuff like that so I could try and understand and make that effort. 

He says he needs time to think about everything. He still loves me and is in love with me but he does not know if he wants to still be with me. What about our wedding we have already invested in? Do I continue to plan not knowing if he even wants me? He is saying he is trying to work on himself and us being together. He can't help that I dont think hes trying. I hate being pushed away and I cant stand feeling like this. What is everyones opinion? I cant live without him, what should I do?


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## Jimena (May 28, 2012)

It seems like there's a lot more behind your dilemmas than what you've detailed here.


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## acs1girl (Jun 29, 2012)

yes too much to explain. So that's just todays dilema mixed with the big picture. I just need some advice!!


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

ACS, I want to say this in the kindest way possible...

You've asked for some advice, and here it is. Grow up. Stop being a spoiled brat, and stop expecting him to fall at your feet the minute you behave well for a day or two.

It's good that you are reading helpful resources, but I have to agree with Jimena, I don't think you're really coming clean about what the problems are. Still, "grow up" addresses a lot, although I admit, it sounds harsh. Marriages aren't all about one person. Do you feel like you give him the love, affection and respect he deserves?


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