# My chq was on the table this morning....



## girltrax101 (May 6, 2011)

Before I start, thank you to those who are and who have been going through the same thing I have been this last month...Your posts keep me focused, make me cry, make me optomistic,make me sad....what I'm trying to say is the help and support make me feel many emotions, and make me feel less alone.
After a long discussion with my husband last night, I went to bed feeling confused...does he truly want this? Is he simply being manipulated into his decision? Will he say "please don't leave"....did what I have to say impact him enough to question his asking me to leave?. We talked money, and came to terms, but I said..."I don't want to leave and if you can't be honest with me and tell me what you truly want for yourself, do it this way. A: Leave the cheque and I'll finally see it's over or B: don't leave a cheque and we'll work this out"....
There was no cheque on the counter, nor on the table, nor by my bed...hell I even checked the bathroom. I was washed with relief and happiness unlike anything I've felt this past month. I called my mom, told her we talked openly and that I think I finally got through to him as there was no chq on the table. She was so thrilled for myself, and for my daughter. 
I could see my husband busily working on our farm, and I smiled. I love my husband.
I did my chores, had a shower, and sat down to read with my lunch...the cheque was inside my e-reader....heartbroken is a huge understatement.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

OMG, that must have been a huge let down. I am so sorry this is happening to you. It makes my heart ache with so much sadness for everyone on here. I just, there's just nothing anyone can say to make you feel better from this. Let it all out and work on taking care of your heart.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I'm really sorry, that had to be the worst feeling ever. I had a nice dream about soon to be ex then woke up and realized I was back in divorce mode.


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## yourbabygirl (May 28, 2011)

ouch!! i know the feeling when u see a glimmer of hope just for it to quashed in a single moment.


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## girltrax101 (May 6, 2011)

Yeah, it's taken me right back to when this first all began only a month ago...struggling.


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## Yummy2011 (Jun 1, 2011)

Yea, my husband did that to me. We hadn't seen wach other for about a month and then out of the blue he asked to come by and spend some time. Then a few days later he flipped and continued on with his "I hate you" behavior. I'm glad I didn't get my hopes up. It's been almost 6 months since my husband moved and it's getting much easier to smile and actually be happy. I have actually found joy which is much better than happiness because it comes from the inside and not external factors such as my husband coming home.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Hi I am new to this forum but I have been reading the messages for the past month. I understand completely want you are going through. Any kindness my husband shows me and my hope thermometer climbs so high that the let down is back to the beginning. My husband is supposed to give a verbal to the paralegal on his pre marital assets and he has not called yet. See that gives me hope, once again. It really is such a sad situation, this continuous see saw. I have found this helps me alot: keeping a journal, keeping the focus on myself and trying to live just that moment/day and it feels so good when I am not concentrating on him but on me. The heartbreak is still there but it is muted until I start taking that focus off me then I am in trouble. You are going to make it through this as we all will. Time, time, time and we will find out lives have become whole again because of the work and pain we went through. Just think of the support we can give to another because we have been there. Look in the mirror, tell yourself out loud you love you, find pleasure in small things, watch a show that makes you fee good, ask for help from your higher power and you will be on your way with these constand exercises.
My prayers are with you, I am in that Titanic with you and all of you.


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