# Words written by an observant woman



## Solg (Dec 1, 2010)

Hi Ppl

Someone sent this to me...

Thought i'd just share it.. Not sure if i'm positing in the correct section..



*WORDS WRITTEN BY AN OBSERVANT WOMAN*

Good men are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls and the halls at work. Most we can't see because we don't know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn't flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads.
He might not wear a suit or push a BMW. He might not have a "body like Vin Diesel with a Brad Pitt face". But, as you mature, you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back than someone who turns your head.
A good man doesn't agree whole heartedly with everything you say. He doesn't just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite. He doesn't declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, yada yada he is (he wont have to because it shows). He has his own opinions and you may clash, but he doesn't have to degrade you to prove he's right. He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.
A good man is not going to meet every item on your checklist. He is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes. He needs your love and respect. He needs to feel that you don't live to "catch" him doing something wrong so you can declare, "Aha! I knew you were a dog!!"
A good man doesn't necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine's gift. He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him. Don't judge him by TV standards (...Bold and the Beautiful...). No one lives that fairy tale for real. You'll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that our men are no good. It's just not true. Men, we salute you, and thank you for who you are and all you've done.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Love this post! LOVE it.


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## Solg (Dec 1, 2010)

There is a lot of truth to these words... It would be great if some woman actually believed in this...


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Solq...please don't believe that NO woman believes those words. Admittedly when I was younger, I couldn't fully appreciate the "good guy". I actually knew one back then. Dated him briefly. That was my bad. I've learned so much in my life since then. My SO is a man a lot of women might not consider attractive. He's balding. He's VERY thin. He wears glasses (thick ones). Those are things he can't change about himself. Someone asked me once what I would change about him, and I said that I'd give him the ability to see better. I don't care if he wears glasses or not...but I wish he could see so he doesn't have to fumble around until he puts them on. 
I advise people who are dating to step outside their box. Give the guy a shot that you ordinarily wouldn't. You might get the surprise of your life. I know I did. 25 years ago I didn't appreciate those attributes of the nice guy. I do now. My SO is the sweetest man I know. He's the strongest, and it has nothing to do with muscle tone. I've watched this man go to work sick. Hurt. He went to work once with two cracked ribs and didn't tell anyone b/c he didn't want to be put on light duty. To ME..that is incredible strength. He has held me up in times when I'd have crumbled had he not been there. He brings me flowers home for no good reason occasionally. They come from Walmart, and he stops on his way home after working AT LEAST 12 hours. I couldn't care less if he picked them from a garden somewhere. I could go on and on about this man...he's truly my hero in many, many ways. My love. I haven't regretted one second of my life with him. NOT ONE. We survived two years of the worst financial hell I'd ever been through in my entire life...and instead of griping at each other, we grabbed on and held on tight. We've survived my then 14yo son doing everything in his power to run him off (not b/c he didn't like him..he did..but b/c he was flexing his muscles as my son). I can't begin to tell you what we've been through sometimes. We've had one argument since we've known each other. Someone told me if you're not arguing, you're not communicating. That simply isn't true. We simply agree on almost everything, and have managed to compromise on the things we don't. He's the only father my 10yo has known. 
I would take this man over all the Vin Diesels and Brad Pitts of the world. I say often that I'd rather go through the worst of times with him, than the best of times with anyone else. I try to make sure he knows this every day of his life.


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## sadmel (Dec 3, 2010)

Key words...you don't need to say it, because it shows.

Yes, if more men SHOWED how they felt, by doing little things every day, were in tune to those little things women need to feel loved. We don't want to be TOLD, we want to be SHOWN. Being in tune to women's needs. And vice versa women to men...

We all need to communicate better and not fall into being "comfortable" with our mates...being aware that every day we all need to be respectful, kind, caring, etc. If too much time goes by and a person does not do that...the other person will disconnect.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Solg said:


> Hi Ppl
> 
> Someone sent this to me...
> 
> ...


When I first met my husband, he had a shabby scooter. I was attracted to him because he was good mannered and well groomed. 

When we were dating, he didn't buy me flowers or gifts, later he told me that he would be the same before and after we got married, and he kept his words. I am glad that he didn't treat me like a princess before we got married but nobody special after we got married. 

My husband reads a lot, conversation with him is always interesting. 

He doesn't tolerate my silly comments or silly behavior, if I do and say things inappropriate, he reasons with me and lets me know what I think is wrong. I respect him for that. 

In our marriage, I make small decisions, he makes big decisions, he knows that it is his responsibility to plan long term goals for us, and I know it is my responsibility to respect him as the head of the family. 

He does lots of small things for me, all the small things make me feel being loved by him. 

He is not rich, he is not a model, but he is my loving husband. 

I chose not to marry rich men, if they are greedy for money, they will be greedy for women( my personal opinion), and vain women tend to run after rich men, I don't want to fight with anybody for a man. 

I don't care much for handsome men, if they only have pretty faces and figures, but not much stuff in their brain, boring! 

I only want a man who loves me, I am happy with our simple life! We are happy with our simple life. 

Being a happy wife, I do a lot of things to give us a high quality life but not with much money!

Happy!


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Solg said:


> There is a lot of truth to these words... It would be *great if some woman actually believed in this*...


Unfortunately my friend, many don't get it. Don't get me wrong, many do, obviously Misfit got it. So did my wife, but many women could care less about those types, and they spend the next 20 years searching for these types of me, but the majority are gone.... snatched up by ladies like Misfit that do get it.



major misfit said:


> *We've had one argument since we've known each other. Someone told me if you're not arguing, you're not communicating.* That simply isn't true.


You sound like me and the Mrs. We've been married 11 years, no arguments yet. Sure we've had disagreements, but never an argument. We've also had sick kids, so that has allowed up the opportunity to focus in one what's important.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I had to learn to appreciate the "good guy" the hard way. Spent too many years with someone who was, how we say...lacking. In EVERYTHING. Character. Morals. Ethics. WORK ethic. You name it, he lacked it. He taught me well, a lesson I've never forgotten.

Someone told me once that at least I wouldn't have to worry about other women trying to take my SO away from me (because he's not the greatest looking guy in the world..but she's never seen him dressed up for a saturday night, either *wink*). I asked her if she was NUTS. There are other women out there who've been through the same dumpster I have...and can recognize and appreciate a good man. I'm under no illusions that someone else wouldn't want him. If *I* want him..I know someone else would. 

Let him put on those super tight Wranglers, a starched crisp dress shirt, that black cowboy hat, those damned boots that make his legs look miles long, and my knees buckle. I can't wait to have this man swing me around the dance floor again!!!! *sigh*


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

i firmly believe in this, i knew other girls who thought guys had to have money [there is only one way guys had money] and had to have a nice car, be able to take them out...

well my guy is the one in the post, and my friends told me i was stupid, he broke, he aint got no car, etc. etc....

years later, he has stood by me and our kids, dosent touch me in a violent way and respects me and accepts me for me...

most of the girls i knew way back then, kids no dad in their life, bad jobs, living off the system, not using it as a way to get better, but settling, and the guys, two places: jail--grave

so i whole heartly believe in this posting...


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

When I was young and naive, I thought money was everything. As long as I had a secure financial life, my life would be happy. 

Well, I donn't think like this anymore after my first marriage. 

When I was thirty, I realized, we come to this world, food and money is not the only thing we need, we also need love. 

That's what I was looking when I was seeking my second marriage. 

I knew what I wanted. Rich businessmen were not on my list, busy managers were not on my list, stressed doctors were not on my list. 

I was offered to have a mansion, a Benz, and a lot of money. I declined. I didn't want to live in the mansion alone and drive the Benz alone. 

I was offered to go the States, I declined. I didn't want to live with a busy manager who was chasing after women. 

I chose my husband. Now I have a man who spends a lot of time with me, who is faithful to me, who is responsible to me, who can have sex with me at anytime I want, who loves me and cares for me 24-7. 

Do I admire women who marry rich men? NO! I know what kind of problems they are struggling. 

Do I admire women who marry successful career men? No, I know what kind of problems they are struggling. 

Do I feel bad that I don't have a mansion or a big car, or any brand name stuff? No, these things can never compare with the inner happiness I have. 

When my husband and I go out, we attract people's attention, not because we drive a big Benz, but because of the love we have for each other!

We have been together for seven years, our love is on going and flowing................................

We are confident that this will continue, because we know what unique thing we have..............................


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

I appreciate this post, because as I read the description I can see that it fits my DH.
When we clash and his most unbecoming traits come out (as do mine), it's tempting to wonder if "someone else" out there would be easier to live with.
This reminds me that I did in fact marry a good man, warts and all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Solg (Dec 1, 2010)

major misfit said:


> Solq...please don't believe that NO woman believes those words. Admittedly when I was younger, I couldn't fully appreciate the "good guy". I actually knew one back then. Dated him briefly. That was my bad. I've learned so much in my life since then. My SO is a man a lot of women might not consider attractive. He's balding. He's VERY thin. He wears glasses (thick ones). Those are things he can't change about himself. Someone asked me once what I would change about him, and I said that I'd give him the ability to see better. I don't care if he wears glasses or not...but I wish he could see so he doesn't have to fumble around until he puts them on.
> I advise people who are dating to step outside their box. Give the guy a shot that you ordinarily wouldn't. You might get the surprise of your life. I know I did. 25 years ago I didn't appreciate those attributes of the nice guy. I do now. My SO is the sweetest man I know. He's the strongest, and it has nothing to do with muscle tone. I've watched this man go to work sick. Hurt. He went to work once with two cracked ribs and didn't tell anyone b/c he didn't want to be put on light duty. To ME..that is incredible strength. He has held me up in times when I'd have crumbled had he not been there. He brings me flowers home for no good reason occasionally. They come from Walmart, and he stops on his way home after working AT LEAST 12 hours. I couldn't care less if he picked them from a garden somewhere. I could go on and on about this man...he's truly my hero in many, many ways. My love. I haven't regretted one second of my life with him. NOT ONE. We survived two years of the worst financial hell I'd ever been through in my entire life...and instead of griping at each other, we grabbed on and held on tight. We've survived my then 14yo son doing everything in his power to run him off (not b/c he didn't like him..he did..but b/c he was flexing his muscles as my son). I can't begin to tell you what we've been through sometimes. We've had one argument since we've known each other. Someone told me if you're not arguing, you're not communicating. That simply isn't true. We simply agree on almost everything, and have managed to compromise on the things we don't. He's the only father my 10yo has known.
> I would take this man over all the Vin Diesels and Brad Pitts of the world. I say often that I'd rather go through the worst of times with him, than the best of times with anyone else. I try to make sure he knows this every day of his life.


Wow Major... reading your post almost brought a tear to my eye. It also affirms that there are wonderful woman like yourself still out there wanting a genuine relationship based on love and not material stuff.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I'm no wonderful woman...I'm SMART. I have people (women) tell me how lucky I am when they see him treating me like a queen, and having eyes only for me. I tell them LUCK was meeting him...SMART was recognizing him for what he is, and hanging on to him for dear life. After what he's been through with women, it's a wonder he ever gave his heart to one again at all. That just shows the true nature of this man. Willing to open up and give it another shot. Lucky for me that he did. 
Material stuff? Hell, no! We have a home, transportation, food and clothing. The necessities are met. He works hard, and wants to give me whatever I want...tells me to get whatever I want...but I have to be a good steward of what he works hard to earn. I can't blow it. I feel it would be disrespectful (and downright WRONG) of me to take what he works hard for and blow it willy-nilly. He doesn't know that I have a surprise savings account that he's going on vacation with next summer. He trusts me to do the right thing, and I'm not going to do anything to cause him to lose that trust. He's going to be thrilled when I hand him cruise tickets for two. It has taken me over 3 years to save for(and I'm not quite there yet..I'm so hoping I'll have it all by next summer) but he does and gives so much, I wanted to give something back. I have contributed to this "fund" as well, btw. He just does so much for me..and he does so much for my kids...I just want to give something back. More than just the "usual". 
My lessons came hard. But I'd like to think I learned them. Lord knows it took me long enough.


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## Solg (Dec 1, 2010)

God is shining down on you and your husband major!


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I agree 100%!!! I am truly blessed.


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