# Discomfort (pain) during sex.



## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

For the last couple of months my wife has been experiencing pain in her vagina during sex. Sometimes she is sore in the absence of sex as well. It seemed to start with being sore on it's own here and there. Then it progressed to being sore just after she would orgasm. She compared it to the times I got carpet burn on my knees but didn't even notice until after I came as I was distracted. Now it has progressed to being quite uncomfortable right from the start of penetration.

She has gone to the Dr, and had an ultrasound and both have came back as normal.

We have relied a lot more on other forms of intimacy and if anything our sex life has gotten more active just without penetration. Were kind of perplexed what this could be though and would like resume normal relations as we both miss it. 

She has described the pain as a spot on the front wall a short distance in. And an ache that gets much worse with a penis rubbing it. 

Any women out there ever experience anything like this and have any suggestions on what it might be, or how to fix it?


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

So were the only people this has ever happened to? Bummer.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Go to another dr. Ask for a MRI. There is something wrong she should not be having pain.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

We have had this type problem on and off for 2 plus years. Many doctor visits. No solution.




eagleclaw said:


> For the last couple of months my wife has been experiencing pain in her vagina during sex. Sometimes she is sore in the absence of sex as well. It seemed to start with being sore on it's own here and there. Then it progressed to being sore just after she would orgasm. She compared it to the times I got carpet burn on my knees but didn't even notice until after I came as I was distracted. Now it has progressed to being quite uncomfortable right from the start of penetration.
> 
> She has gone to the Dr, and had an ultrasound and both have came back as normal.
> 
> ...


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

MEM11363 said:


> We have had this type problem on and off for 2 plus years. Many doctor visits. No solution.


Does it get better for a while before it comes back? My wifes seems to be constant.


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

Enchantment said:


> How old is your wife?
> 
> Have they tested any of her hormone levels (female, thyroid)?
> 
> Is the pain the only symptom that she has?


Wife is 38. She has had her hormones and thryroid checked about a year ago (not relating to this problem as it's more recent.) However at that time everything was normal.

Wife did/does have endrometriosis, but it hasn't been a problem since having kids 9 years ago and never presented like this.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

It got bad - for 2 months - about 1.5 years ago. Then better. Now back. We have shifted to less frequency and alternate means of playing. I have simply accepted it. 

BTW - There is a lot of "deceptive" behavior that sometimes goes on when a spouse does not want to have sex. We have had the opposite of that. She understates how much it hurts. I did something the other night that I have maybe done 3 times in 22 years. I got the bible put her hand on it and asked how much it hurts because I believed she was telling me it hurt less than it really did. And she was. 





eagleclaw said:


> Does it get better for a while before it comes back? My wifes seems to be constant.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

eagleclaw said:


> Wife is 38. She has had her hormones and thryroid checked about a year ago (not relating to this problem as it's more recent.) However at that time everything was normal.
> 
> Wife did/does have endrometriosis, but it hasn't been a problem since having kids 9 years ago and never presented like this.


Endometriosis can be a tricky thing. I don't have it, but I have a dear friend who does and she has some real problems with it. I found a good article that describes what the primary causes of vaginal pain are, and that often a secondary cause called vaginismus happens. Vaginismus is a real physical condition. I really think you should do some research, arm yourself with questions, and go to another doctor.

Here's the link (sorry if it doesn't show up right - I can't figure out how to do the links yet):

Pain During Intercourse #1


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

MEM11363 said:


> It got bad - for 2 months - about 1.5 years ago. Then better. Now back. We have shifted to less frequency and alternate means of playing. I have simply accepted it.
> 
> BTW - There is a lot of "deceptive" behavior that sometimes goes on when a spouse does not want to have sex. We have had the opposite of that. She understates how much it hurts. I did something the other night that I have maybe done 3 times in 22 years. I got the bible put her hand on it and asked how much it hurts because I believed she was telling me it hurt less than it really did. And she was.


My wife does the same thing. I can tell when she gets quiet. We didn't do penetration for about 5 weeks then I tried the other night hoping it have improved. She didn't say anything during but right after she said that it was still hurting. Guess we will have to wait again. I'm hoping this clears up soon. She likes agressive passion, but I don't know how to do this in the absence of actual sex.


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## WhiteRabbit (May 11, 2011)

Endometriosis and if it's not that then have her checked out for IC or interstitial cystitis...i hope I spelled that right! lol

It's a bladder condition that can cause sex to be painful...google it for symptoms.

Anyway, I was diagnosed with IC a while back. I have it under control now and was treated for it. Caused awful pain during the pushing and stuff the gyn does during annual exams. I was lucky enough to have an amazing gyn who diagnosed it quickly and got me started on treatment.

***IC is also known to occur in higher numbers of women with endometriosis. I had no idea I even had this issue until gyn did the bladder test to show that he was right in his diagnosis of it. I was always blaming the sex pain on the endometriosis never realizing something else was going on as well.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

eagleclaw said:


> For the last couple of months my wife has been experiencing pain in her vagina during sex. Sometimes she is sore in the absence of sex as well. It seemed to start with being sore on it's own here and there. Then it progressed to being sore just after she would orgasm. She compared it to the times I got carpet burn on my knees but didn't even notice until after I came as I was distracted. Now it has progressed to being quite uncomfortable right from the start of penetration.


Where is the soreness? If it is on the vaginal canal and the exterior of the vulva, it may be either yeast or bacterial vaginosis. It is unlikely to be sore just from orgasm unless her brain is playing tricks on her. But it can be more sore from sex since the sex moves the discharge and applies it to surfaces it might not otherwise touch all tucked up in there nice and neat. The discharge associated with yeast and BV burn and if the infection is sever can burn a LOT.



> She has gone to the Dr, and had an ultrasound and both have came back as normal.
> 
> We have relied a lot more on other forms of intimacy and if anything our sex life has gotten more active just without penetration. Were kind of perplexed what this could be though and would like resume normal relations as we both miss it.
> 
> ...


Yah testing for imbalance in flora is an easy one to rule bv and yeast out. The rubbing is something that makes it very bad for me. Hope it is that, because the cure is easy!


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## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

Hi,
This can actually be her muscles. I myself have this condition and have been to "female" physical therapy" for it.
Basically when I was stressed I could contract my muscles down there, without even knowing it. It progressed from occasional burning pain to pain all the time. I was contracting them 24/7 at that point and had incredible pain that spread to my legs.
Of course this could be a bladder injection or hormone levels so please look at that.
If you have no answer still look for a physical therapist that works with this condition and can help her. It's basically a pelvic dysfunction that can be cured.
I had EVERY test done under the sun, was on opiate pain medication, and then started physical therapy. The pain was gone in 2 months, total therapy lasted 6 months and I go back occasionally to make sure I am not repeating the same thing.

Burning in the bladder and this condition have urgent urination FYI


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

Thanks for that Bunny. She has been under a lot of work related stress lately. Maybe your onto something.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I had a great post prepped and accidentally lost it. Here's the short form. 

Hormones and other drugs sometimes 'poop out'. The technical term is tachyphylaxis. It means either they stop working or work less once you stop taking them and re-dose on them later on. It can mean you need a new or different hormone as well as a testosterone low dose in addition to estrogen. There is some research indicating tachyphylaxis can occur with estrogen.

But, all is not lost. The sexual effect of estrogen on the uterus is as a vasodilator to boost blood supply. You might be able to get away with boosting the uterine blood supply with a non-hormone booster. Some plausible choices are THC (pot), nitroglycerin, some other blood pressure medicine, or....Viagra which is a vasodilator originally developed for pulmonary hypertension and edema.

Anyway, that's the short form. Talk to your MD about switching out hormones, adding hormones and possibly adding a vasodilator in low doses.

Also lay off the smoking, coffee, alcohol which all dehydrate the tissues. And use a WATER BASED personal lubricant generously. Avoid basic alkaline soaps around or inside the vagina as these are all compounds that dry out the mucous membranes. As an alternative to soaps, use water based liquid gentle cleansers or solid bars without alkalines, dyes, fragrances or alcohols. Glycerines, eucerines, Cetaphil, Aveeno, anything used for Rosacea treatment, something top of the line hypoallergenic with a pH level in the 4.5 range. And for what it's worth if you wax or shave down there, give that a rest for a while. Too many chemicals and irritation. Trim with scissors only. Your partner won't care in the least.


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