# Expose...Question



## JustCan'tDeal (Feb 24, 2012)

Hi all!

New here and have a question about exposing. I think I may be ready to expose husband's EA to the OWH. The only reason I hesitated is because I could not get my head around me being the cause of another damaged or ruined marraige. My husband has not ended contact with the explaination that they are now "just friends". Yes, I bet you can almost see me rolling my eyes. Even though he has given me full access (as far as I know) to see what they are talking about (and I do check daily) it is still inappropriate and not acceptable. 

My questions is how do I go about finding a way to contact OWH? I have her cell number and have an adderss but cannot find a number fo him. A letter? I am afraid that she will see it first and just get rid of it (see does not work and he works at night). Any advie would be much appreciated.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your husband is still in contact with her because you are allowing it. As long as you allow it the contact will continue. 
You need to decide what your boundaries are and then hold them. This is not about what he is willing to do, it’s about what you are willing to have in your life to continue your marriage. The choice you give him should be either he has no contact at all with her and he is 100% transparent in all things or he can move out. And then there will be a divorce.

On the topic of exposes the affair to her husband, rest assured that it is not you who is running another family. She and your husband have done this quite nicely.

You have an address. You can go to the address and see him. Is he on Facebook? Is there any way you can find out where he works?

Do you have very concrete evidence to provide him about the affair? You might find out that he already knows and has more information to give you.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

You aren't the cause...your H and his OW are.


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

If you know her name check facebook, google search, check linkedin. Google may even get you an address.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Do you know where he works?

Maybe overnight a letter to him with your contact info at his job?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustCan'tDeal (Feb 24, 2012)

EleGirl

Thank you. I know that the contact is continuing because I have allowed it. I said that I would try to trust him that they are just friends but it has become painfully obvious that I was wrong and it is not working, duh. Silly me, I know. I have expressed to both of them that the relationship is putting not only them but our marraige in a dangerous position. Of course he does not agree and is insisting that I am what he wants. I do have an address but we are in different states so going there is out of the question. I will see if I can get to his facebood thru hers and find out some more info. I do have proof to provide incase he does not believe me. Thanks again for the advice.


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## AngryandUsed (Jun 23, 2011)

Can you get his email id? There are websites that give this info.


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## JustCan'tDeal (Feb 24, 2012)

Much thanks to everyone who responded. No luck with facebook yet, will have to wait until I get home to go thru husbands page to get to hers. I will also try searching for an email address in the meantime. Thanks again!


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Just do it. It is the right thing to do - morally and tactically.


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## JustCan'tDeal (Feb 24, 2012)

Ugh. I cannot find anything on him! I guess a letter will have to do and hope that she does not see it first. Maybe I could disguise it somehow? I don't know. All I know is I cannot live like this anymore. Gonna be a bad day...


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