# Child support



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

XH was unemployed for 3 months, then got a job for 3 months, then opened a new business. I have some empathy since he is recovering from the period of unemployment, but our son still has costs associated with him (he shot up like a string bean and needed new clothes, still paying off hospital bill from when he had an accident earlier this year, and he needs food, school supplies, and the usual expenses a kid needs as part of his life). And I'm shouldering everything by myself. My empathy has run out. Am I being unreasonable to expect him to contribute? I'm paying off student debt still for the masters I am 3/4 of the way through completing and am still working fulltime because that's what I need to do to help pay the bills and keep out kid fed and healthy. I realize most of covid has meant financial devastation for a lot of folks and we are blessed that I kept my job, and it absolutely sucked that he lost his, but at the same time, if he is working, shouldn't he be paying child support? What do you guys think? Part of me feels if he had the money to open a new business, shouldn't at least some of that gone towards paying child support? I'm not unfeeling, I don't think, but it just pushes the financial burden on me which seems a little unfair.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

joannacroc said:


> XH was unemployed for 3 months, then got a job for 3 months, then opened a new business. I have some empathy since he is recovering from the period of unemployment, but our son still has costs associated with him (he shot up like a string bean and needed new clothes, still paying off hospital bill from when he had an accident earlier this year, and he needs food, school supplies, and the usual expenses a kid needs as part of his life). And I'm shouldering everything by myself. My empathy has run out. Am I being unreasonable to expect him to contribute? I'm paying off student debt still for the masters I am 3/4 of the way through completing and am still working fulltime because that's what I need to do to help pay the bills and keep out kid fed and healthy. I realize most of covid has meant financial devastation for a lot of folks and we are blessed that I kept my job, and it absolutely sucked that he lost his, but at the same time, if he is working, shouldn't he be paying child support? What do you guys think? Part of me feels if he had the money to open a new business, shouldn't at least some of that gone towards paying child support? I'm not unfeeling, I don't think, but it just pushes the financial burden on me which seems a little unfair.


For the 3 months he was out of work no, but if he is working of course.


----------



## hubbyintrubby (Jul 5, 2019)

In a lot of states, it depends on who makes more money, more income. What kind of custody do you share with him, if any?


----------



## nypsychnurse (Jan 13, 2019)

If you have a support order, he owes it to you...whether he pays it now or later...
A court will not let it slide because of COVID...best interests of the child will always come first. 

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

nypsychnurse said:


> If you have a support order, he owes it to you...whether he pays it now or later...
> A court will not let it slide because of COVID...best interests of the child will always come first.
> 
> Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk


Hw can anyone pay if they are unemployed?


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Diana7 said:


> Hw can anyone pay if they are unemployed?


I hear ya. I would not be asking this question here if he were still unemployed it's just that he has been working for a few months before opening a business, where he employs other people. So I guess I'm not sure if this is reasonable or not to push it. But things are extremely tight. I've gone through the bills and cancelled a lot of things and we had a pared down Christmas this year. We generally have a civil relationship for our son's sake so it's not like I'm rushing for a lawyer or anything. It's just that until prodded a bit, he generally does not pay regularly or on time, even before he was unemployed. I'm trying to figure out if he's trying to put it off until later, or if he genuinely cannot help pay at the moment for his son's upbringing.


----------



## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Update: He also shortened his time with his son over the winter break today, picking him up 3 days later than we agreed instead of tomorrow, and bringing him back 3 or 4 days earlier (for unspecified reasons) - thankfully our boy wasn't hurt or bothered and is happy to have extra time with us. It's not like I had plans so I'd always rather he was with me. I worry that one day he will pick up on how unreliable his Dad is. And that he will just come to expect that he is easily cast aside for more fun plans by his father. Which just breaks my heart. I wish XH could be more reliable in general for his son.


----------

