# Alimony and Child Support in NC



## BlueDragon (Feb 4, 2013)

Can anyone give me an idea of how Alimony and Child Support work in NC.

Basically it comes down to this;
Married 22 years. married in 1990
Wife use to work when we lived in NY
We moved to NC in 1995 and she stopped working to raise the children.
She recently started substitute teaching past 3 years. This past year she earned the most she ever did substituting. About 8,000.
But no federal taxes where taken out and only about 50 in NC state taxes.
I make the money, just over 100,000.
We have a mortgage
2 cars
and the usual bills
Credit Cards - about 5-5.5K
2 401K loans which are paid from my paycheck twice a month
3 kids;
oldest will be 20 in July - 2nd year community college
middle will be 18 in June - Senior next fall in HS
youngest will be 15 in March

Not separated yet, plan on separating this summer.
Will I have to pay Child Support for 1 or 2 of my children?
When does it start? Approx how much?

Since I make the money how much Alimony will she receive?
Will she be reward the house, custody of children, and I still pay?

Any insight into what I'm looking at would be appreciated.


----------



## nickgtg (Jan 11, 2013)

It may be easier and faster to Google exactly what you put in the thread title.

I'm pretty sure child support stops when they turn 18 in every state. Alimony is different in every state.


----------



## CH (May 18, 2010)

Talk to an attorney. If you make that much a year, you should have an attorney you use. They might not deal with divorce/family law but they could refer you to someone else.


----------



## BlueDragon (Feb 4, 2013)

Actually I don't have an attorney. Never really needed one. I'll have to find one and see if I can get some free advice before having to come in and pay.


----------



## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

nickgtg said:


> It may be easier and faster to Google exactly what you put in the thread title.
> 
> I'm pretty sure child support stops when they turn 18 in every state. Alimony is different in every state.


Child support doesn't end until 21 in NY.


----------



## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Blue dragon,
You will only pay support in NC for your children who are under 18 which is one child. You will be paying VERY HIGH alimony, probably for life because your marriage is over 20 years and your wife right now can't support herself at the marital standard of living. 

Will it break you financially if you make over 100K, probably not but it will hurt. You need an attorney prior to separation. The best thing you can do is try to come to an agreement but talk to a lawyer that practices family law in your county who can tell you how the judges there will rule. 

Once you separate, you will pay her alimony pendente lite until your divorce is final. The final amount will either be set by you by agreement or by the judge. I would offer her some support until she can become self sufficient and then would cut it off. Alimony is theft and lifetime alimony is a blight that society has not eliminated yet. 

On custody, there is no reason why you and your wife can't share custody of your 15 year old. The other 2 are adults and are not up for discussion. The more time you spend with your 15 year old, the less you pay in child support. Make sure whatever you do is in your child's best interest. The money is never a consideration when it comes to a child.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

You most likely will be required to pay for dependent child health care through age 26 if they don't have their own now.


----------



## BlueDragon (Feb 4, 2013)

Married in VA said:


> Blue dragon,
> You will only pay support in NC for your children who are under 18 which is one child. You will be paying VERY HIGH alimony, probably for life because your marriage is over 20 years and your wife right now can't support herself at the marital standard of living.


She is capable of finding a job. She has a college degree in Data Processing though it is from late 80's early 90's. She just keeps using her back as an excuse since she had back surgery.



> Alimony is theft and lifetime alimony is a blight that society has not eliminated yet.


I agree. In todays society she can work and should work. I should not have to support her the rest of her life. Why should she get majority of my pay to continue to do nothing but substitute teaching, while I will struggle to survive. Makes me not want to even work then because basically I'm working for her. Where is the justice/fairness?


----------



## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Dragon,
Your best bet is that you get a judge that makes her get a job so you won't have to support her for life. Courts seem to be moving away from lifetime alimony thankfully. 

Again, a good lawyer in your county will be able to tell you how the judges there rule on alimony and divorce cases so you know whether it's better to settle out of court or to take the issue to court.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Married in VA said:


> Blue dragon,
> You will only pay support in NC for your children who are under 18 which is one child. You will be paying VERY HIGH alimony, probably for life because your marriage is over 20 years and your wife right now can't support herself at the marital standard of living.
> 
> Will it break you financially if you make over 100K, probably not but it will hurt. You need an attorney prior to separation. The best thing you can do is try to come to an agreement but talk to a lawyer that practices family law in your county who can tell you how the judges there will rule.
> ...


We do not have alimony in Australia, the whole concept sounds bizarre to me. What happens if the person receiving it starts get a good job or they remarry, does it still have to be paid?


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

In most US states the wife can attach their ex husband's pension and retirement plan years or decades in the future. My accountant is divorcing and she's getting half of all their assets as well as half of his. He won't pay spousal support because she's self employed and currently working but in terms of the assets garnered jointly in the past e.g. his pension, that's divisible.


----------



## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Holland,
If the spouse receiving alimony remarries or in some states even cohabits then the alimony can stop. If there is a material change in circumstances, such as a new job, the alimony can be reduced or stopped. 

I don't pay alimony but know people who do. It is not okay for one adult to have to support another. There are exceptions of course but they are rare and in cases of adultery it is NEVER okay to have to pay out to a cheating spouse. Change is coming but it is slow. Most state legislators are still slave to the feminist lobby. Their influence in our society is waning however.


----------



## caladan (Nov 2, 2012)

Married in VA said:


> Holland,
> If the spouse receiving alimony remarries or in some states even cohabits then the alimony can stop. If there is a material change in circumstances, such as a new job, the alimony can be reduced or stopped.
> 
> I don't pay alimony but know people who do. It is not okay for one adult to have to support another. There are exceptions of course but they are rare and in cases of adultery it is NEVER okay to have to pay out to a cheating spouse. Change is coming but it is slow. Most state legislators are still slave to the feminist lobby. Their influence in our society is waning however.


I agree about everything apart from "feminist lobby"

No feminist wants to earn alimony. The entire concept of alimony is based on the pre-feminist movement era when guys worked and women stayed home, in which case a divorce impoverished the woman since she had no income.


----------



## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Many states are moving away from a permanent alimony, to what is called rehabilitative alimony. This is support for a period of time, lets say one or two years, to assist the stay-at-home spouse in entering the workforce. Its usually given in long term marriages when one spouse has been a SAHS.


----------



## BlueDragon (Feb 4, 2013)

When Alimony is determined, is it based on your current take home income or do they take into consideration you will have to change your W4 status from married to single?
For example, if you are a married couple with 3 kids and you make 3000 pre-tax and say 2000 after taxes every 2 weeks.
Now you get separated. And have to pay Child Support and Alimony
when you file your taxes the next year. What status are you filing under?
Married filing Separate? since your not technically divorced yet
or 
Single? which means your in a different tax bracket and if you left you claimed on your W4 the same, you'll probably end up paying taxes.

So if you switch your W4 resulting in more taxes taken out. This would effect your take-home amount.
Let's say instead of 2000, now your take home is 1700. 

When this Alimony is determined, is it based on your current take home, or your new take-home?


----------



## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Most of your NC calculations will go from the gross, regardless of withholdings.

Here is an NC site you can use to get some general numbers. By no means do I endorse them but they do have some calculators that are helpful. North Carolina Divorce Law | NC Divorce Lawyer | Raleigh Divorce Lawyer | Charlotte Divorce Lawyer

No matter what, your wife will have to find some more work in order to live. I would encourge her to get out more and look, the kids don't need Mom at home all of the time anymore. I am of the opinion that alimony is like welfare, once people get on it they don't want to get off.


----------



## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Dragon,
Alimony is usually calculated off gross pay but check your state laws as they all vary. How you file taxes is a complicated issue that is best left for a lawyer/accountant to figure out vice strangers on the internet.

As for me and my STBXW, we are separated but we still file married filing jointly as this gives us the best advantages. Since I make 7X what she makes, I simply give her what she paid in taxes back to her out of the refund. I keep the rest. Since I have the kids, I take the deductions as well. Post divorce I will be filing head of household and she will be single.


----------



## Minuit à Paris (Sep 3, 2012)

I think your thoughts on alimony are disgusting. There are many stay at home mom's (by mutual decision) that scarifice their career to raise the children. So when the husband on 100k plus decides to divorce, he should not have to pay anything, and the woman, at 50 or so, has to take minmum wage for her retireament? Come on!!


----------



## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Minuit a Paris,
Note in my above posts that I did say there are exceptions. Now, I don't believe in permanent, lifetime alimony and thankfully many US states are moving away from the concept. It had its place in history when men were the breadwinners and a majority of women stayed home and kept house. This is no longer the case. 

In your above post you stated that there are many stay at home moms who are in their circumstances by mutual decision. The key word is MUTUAL. She chose home over career and could have started a career any time she wanted. The husband is not responsible for the career choices of the wife.


----------



## DumpedAgain (Feb 14, 2013)

all states are different, the judge never cares about you or your
spouse, it's just a numbers game for them

They want an equitable split based on how much $ you make
how much $ you have and her income (or lack of income)

401k's IRA's will be split down the middle

House spit down the middle, if one spouse wants the house
they pay the other or give up compensation elsewhere

Child support, usually a sliding scale, one kid 20% of net gross
two kids, 24% and so forth

Alimony again is usually on a sliding scale, typically 30% of you gross net, with the length of time you have been married and how long it has been since she worked

In my instance, it is a good time to get divorced, the recession
dampened my earnings (now set to rebound)

Net Gross 2011, $140k, which translates into $42k/yr over 
a 6-7 year period. One 15 year old kid, $28k/year till her
18th birthday. $70k/year. There is no tax break for the
child support, but the alimony is taxable income for her
I get the tax break. 

Plus, she is on the hook for half the college costs for the two 
kids in college

She absolutely demands getting the house, this could be the
ultimate revenge, The house is paid for, but is worth far less
than we paid for it. She has to pay me 1/2 the market value
for a large house that will not sell. Nobody is selling their 
starter home and moving up, it will be years before the value 
of the house comes back, Taxes alone are $1100/mo, utilities
$1000/mo. The house is an albotross and it will bankrupt her
with her level of spending

Again, every state is different, but pretty similar,


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BlueDragon said:


> She is capable of finding a job. She has a college degree in Data Processing though it is from late 80's early 90's. She just keeps using her back as an excuse since she had back surgery.


A data processing degree from the early 90's, with no current work experience, is useless. Her skills are out of date. 

She could go back to college and update her skills. Will she do that?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Holland said:


> We do not have alimony in Australia, the whole concept sounds bizarre to me. What happens if the person receiving it starts get a good job or they remarry, does it still have to be paid?


If she remarries or gets a live-in boyfriend it stops.

If she gets a job, the amount can be adjusted. He would have to petition the court to reduce the alimony.

Alimony comes from a time when women could not work to support themselves. It was so that their husbands could not just dump them into poverty when they replaced the old wife with a younger one.

Today rehabilitative alimony is becomeing more common so that a woman who has not worked due to raising children can go back to school and get a degree with new skills.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

North Carolina Alimony Calculator

Alimony Calculator - North Carolina Divorce Law NC Divorce Lawyer Raleigh Charlotte


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

BlueDragon,

Why are you planning to divorce your wife?


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I read your thread about why you want a divorce. Divorce usually causes more problems then it solves. Look at the financial devistation it will put you through.

Why not try to fix your marriage first? Take a look below at the links for building a passionate marriage. "His Needs, Her Needs" is the most important of the three. Start there and fix your marriage. Rebuild what the two of you have.


----------



## Pam (Oct 7, 2010)

I stopped cold at "will I have to pay child support"; these are your children, but you want to know if you have to help feed them? 

Are you helping the son who is in community college, at all, while you are married? If you are, then should we assume that you plan to just drop him like a hot potato when you move in with your lady friend? How about the other two? Your home has a mortgage; in your planning, who was going to make the payment? Are there payments on the car you plan to "give" her? What about utilities, taxes, insurance?

I just don't see a lot of caring in your posts.


----------

