# My husband always threatens divorce



## RT50

Every few months my husband has these temper tantrums and threatens divorce. 

He keeps threatening, but doesn't follow through. He said he's tired and me and my family and doesn't feel appreciated. 

I'm exhausted and have emotionally checked out. I just don't know what to do. We actually can't afford to get a divorce. When things are good between us, everyone is happy, but then these episodes happen.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm desperate.

Thanks!


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## hnp

My husband says the same thing at least once a month as well. I always tell him to take a midol and let me know when his period is over. I swear he may not actually have a period but he definetly has the symptoms. This is my second marriage his first we were together while I was going through my divorce. When my divorce was final I told him I was never doing that again so if we got married it had to be forever. He saw the good part of the divorce we were free to be together but he didn't go through the emotional roller coaster of a divorce. 
I always ask him when he calms done do you still love me? How would u feel if I was out of your life forever? How would u feel if something happened to me or u and we weren't there for each other? how would he feel about me being intimate with someone else? (this was something that took me by surprise when i got divorced the first time i heard my exhusband had a girlfriend. I freaked out that my at the time husband was sleeping with someone else and i too was with another.) These are some of the questions I answered when I got divorced but it was easy I had already had someone I loved when the divorce was final and I wasn't in love with my ex husband any more 
Another thing I take into consideration when he says stuff about divorce is : can I see him taking the time to find a lawyer. To pay a lawyer. To drive down to the courthouse and file. To pack up his stuff and leave. Hell no. My husband is way too lazy to actually do something about it. I take care of him way too much for him to leave. My husband is complacent with our marriage. So every month when he goes through his phases I just brush it off. 
A lot of time guys think divorce is as easy as a break up would be and it's not


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## In_The_Wind

I would give him what he desires and have him served. Maybe sometime away will turn him around 

Good Luck
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## YinPrincess

What provokes your husband to make these threats? It seems like he is frustrated, but threatening like that is manipulation...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RT50

Just as fast as he got into one of his moods he snapped out of it. He says it's him and not me (classic) and he feels like he's a failure. We don't have kids and I don't put any unnecessary pressure on him. All I want is for us to be happy and healthy, which we are. He's putting all of this pressure on himself. He says he's tired and burned out. We have a great life, at least I think we do.

He called me at work 11 times yesterday (just checked my caller id) and he kept saying he's going to move to his parents' house. I told him okay, whatever he wants, but when I got home from work he was on the sofa sleeping. Then he was back to his usual self. 

I did tell him that I'm getting tired of this pattern. I can't help him. Plus, it doesn't help when he drinks. He says he's going to get it together this time. We'll see I guess. BTW, we've been married for 14 years.


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## RT50

Today's update: We had, what I thought, was a great evening yesterday. Then this morning he calls me at work (he hasn't been to work all week) to tell me he's moved out (he went to a hotel) and that he doesn't love me anymore and he's done. I want to try couseling, but he refused. I don't want to give up on us. I don't know if he's depressed or what. He says things like how he doesn't have anything, he's going to lose his job, etc. We have a nice house and a comfortable life. On top of all this I am recovering from surgery that I had 3 weeks ago for endometriosis. He was by my side 100% during my surgery and for my recovery. He was amazing! Then I don't know what happened. He says that I don't love him, but I don't know why he would feel that way. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't.


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## Caligyrl

RT50 said:


> Today's update: We had, what I thought, was a great evening yesterday. Then this morning he calls me at work (he hasn't been to work all week) to tell me he's moved out (he went to a hotel) and that he doesn't love me anymore and he's done. I want to try couseling, but he refused. I don't want to give up on us. I don't know if he's depressed or what. He says things like how he doesn't have anything, he's going to lose his job, etc. We have a nice house and a comfortable life. On top of all this I am recovering from surgery that I had 3 weeks ago for endometriosis. He was by my side 100% during my surgery and for my recovery. He was amazing! Then I don't know what happened. He says that I don't love him, but I don't know why he would feel that way. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't.


WOW! Give him some time to work through whatever he's feeling. If he's gone-make good use of your peace and quiet. 
My husband says the same thing on a weekly basis. One of these days I will not be able to "come back" and I will tell him I want a divorce. Today, he threw his ring at me. Then picked it up and asked what I wanted him to do with it. I calmly replied...SHOVE IT UP YOUR A$$. 
Good luck with this and keep us posted.


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## Kurosity

Wow well being threatend with D all the time is just unhealthy and nasty.
He really bounces in extrems then and drinking? Um, could he be depressed, bi polar? How old are you two? 

I would relax and let him worry about him for the moment. No reason to react to his up and downs look at is as a breather for the now and take the time to figure out what you want and what you can and can not live with. 
Do not let him back in with out him seeing someone first for his emotional and mental health I beg you to make him see that it has to end or be treated or managed before he can waltz back in. That is what I would do under your discription of events of late. 
I hope that things get better and that you find the cause for his behavior but please take care of you first. Best wishes.


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## RT50

I'm 34 and he is 42. We've been married for 14 years. 

I'm not going to act on anything. I'm going to let him do what he needs to do. I'm so tired of the drama, though. I'm definitely going to seek out counseling even if he doesn't want to join me. I need it. 

I had a quiet night at home last night, while he stayed at a hotel. He called me at midnight last night to ask me if I had called him. I said, "No, you told me not to call." Then he hung up. 

The sick part of all this is that I have to get up and go to work all this week during this drama while he hasn't gone to work all week! He's telling his job that I'm still not well from my surgery.


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## Jellybeans

Rule out an affair. All the classic signs are there. (Rule it out w/o him knowing yu're checking into this).

If this is a recent behavior, that's one thing. If he's always been thsi way, that's no good. That means he's hot and cold and unstable.

My exH used to threaten me with divorce all the time. It makes you feel emotionally unsafe in the relationship. And like yours, mine would tell me he was going to move (overseas) and that was his plan and his plan never included me.

We eventually divorced. Looking back, I see he was not committed to the marriage the same way I was. When you care about someone, you don't threaten terminating your marriage all the time over minor disputes or just out of spite because you are in a bad mood.

He may be depressed. He may just want out. Either way, he doesn't have your best interest. Start thinking practically: get all your ducks in a row, just in case. And tell him very straightforwardly (is that word?) that he is either in the marriage with you or he's not. Tell him you are committed to your marriage, but a marriage takes 2 parties to make it work and so if he wants the marriage, he needs to stop threatening leaving/divorcing and put forth teh same effort. Offer marriage counselling.

If he doesn't bite, you have your answer and can move on to find someone who really will appreciate you and stop using emotional blackmail everytime they are in a funk.

My heart goes out to you. BTDT.

Don't badmouth him to your children. Be their light, their guide, be strong for them.


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## RT50

I definitely know he's not having an affair. I'm 100% sure about that. 

He's been like this off and on for years now, and he drinks, which I hate. He's been trying to get his drinking under control. It's getting better, but if I had it my way I would rather him not drink at all. 

I asked him over and over to please go to counseling with me so we can get to the bottom of this and he blatantly said no. 

Fortunately, we don't have children. I can't imagine if we did.


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## Jellybeans

Ok, so it's a pattern with him and he refuses counselling.

You cannot change people. This is who he is. 

So what do you want? 

*And sorry, I thought I read you had children.*

Was he previously married, in any LTRs before you? Why did they end? What's his relationship like with his mother? Does he treat other people this way like you (cutting them off/blanking them?) Is he only moody with you or with other people? How does he react to tense situations? Is he kind to strangers?


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## RT50

OMG, this is amazing! 

"Was he previously married, in any LTRs before you? Why did they end? What's his relationship like with his mother? Does he treat other people this way like you (cutting them off/blanking them?) Is he only moody with you or with other people? How does he react to tense situations? Is he kind to strangers?"

First marriage for both of us. I was 19 when we met. His longest previous relationship was maybe a year. This is my first "real" relationship, and he tells me that I'm awful and relationships. Ironic. He barely speaks to his parents and never speaks to his siblingsat all. His relationship with his mother is practically non-existent. Yes, he cuts people out of his life! He's done this with a few people, people that were close to him. He definitely is moody with others, not just me. He feels like everyone "plays games" and takes advantage of him. 

I have a relationship with my family. We don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, and we've had a strained relationshp in the past, but they are definitely a part of my life.


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## Jellybeans

RT50 said:


> He barely speaks to his parents and never speaks to his siblingsat all. His relationship with his mother is practically non-existent.


Why? 

If he barely speaks to them, why is he living with them? Curious.

Does he blame you for everything in wrong in the relationship or does he ever say where he went/goes wrong too? 




RT50 said:


> He feels like everyone "plays games" and takes advantage of him.


This is my exH.


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## RT50

He's actually at a hotel right now really close to our house. He keeps saying he's going to his parents' house, but hasn't actually done it. He told me last night he's going to move out this weekend. 

He takes responsibility for his mistakes, but he continues to make the same mistakes. He does blame me for the most part of our issues. He said I'm the one that "f**** up" this time. He says I'm cold, that I betrayed him when I told my family about a previous situation we had (maybe I shouldn't have, but that's another long story). I never tell my family the deep down nitty gritty details of the marriage, but I did tell them one thing, which I told DH about. He says because of that I betrayed his trust. He says he doesn't feel appreciated.

I don't know what to make of all this. I really don't know what I am doing wrong.


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## Jellybeans

Sorry. 

The bottom line is you need to tell him either you guys work on your marriage or you don't. There is no grey area. Either you are both in it or you're not. 

Offer marriage counselling and see what he says. Ask what you can both do to improve the marriage.


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## Uptown

RT50 said:


> Every few months my husband has these temper tantrums and threatens divorce.


RT, you are describing a few of the classic traits of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I therefore suggest you read my description of these traits to see if most of them ring a bell. My description is in Maybe's thread at http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/33734-my-list-hell.html#post473522. I caution that, if a strong pattern of BPD traits is occurring, it would be persistent throughout your marriage -- likely occurring every two or three weeks and being triggered by some minor event. Except for the honeymoon period, BPD traits do not disappear. They are persistent.


> He feels like everyone "plays games" and takes advantage of him.


BPDers have a stunted emotional development -- frozen at about the level of a 4 year old. They therefore are very uncomfortable with ambiguities and strong mixed feelings. The result is that they do black-white thinking whenever there is the slightest amount of stress. This will be most evident in the way they categorize everyone as "all good" or "all bad" -- i.e., as "with me" or "against me." 

Moreover, they will recategorize someone from one polar extreme to the other -- in just ten seconds -- based solely on a minor infraction or idle comment. Not surprisingly, then, BPDers typically have no long term friends (unless they live a long distance away). This "all-or-nothing thinking" also will be evident in their frequent use of extreme expressions such as "I always..." and "you never...."


> Yes, he cuts people out of his life! He's done this with a few people, people that were close to him. He definitely is moody with others, not just me.


As I said, BPDers will recategorize a friend as "an enemy" in just ten seconds based solely on a minor mistake. This is done because BPDers see no middle ground in which to place the friend. 

As to your H being "moody," I note that you are not describing the moodiness that most people associate with bipolar disorder. Such moods swing gradually -- over a period of several weeks -- between mania and depression. In contrast, what you are describing does not alternate between those two extremes. Moreover, it does not "swing" gradually. Rather, you are describing a mood change that occurs in seconds (being event triggered) and flips back and forth between loving you and devaluing you.


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## that_girl

It's emotional limbo and abuse for him to keep threatening divorce. It takes all security out of the equation of your marriage. You can't do anything wrong without fear of being left. 

That's lame and that's wrong. 

I'd have him served...to slap some reality into his stupid brain. You don't have to follow through but maybe some divorce papers will get him to shut the eff up.


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## Caligyrl

Your hubby does sound like he has classic BPD. I bought the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells", and the more I read the more I am convinced he's got it full-blown. 
The episodes you describe I go through weekly and sometimes more often.
It's hell-it's wearing me down, and after 5 years of this-I am ready to throw in the towel as he thinks everything is "all me" and he is doing no wrong.

...breaking things as soon as he gets mad, no middle ground whatsoever, he set the cats bed and my rugs on fire the other day. He drives me crazy and will not go to counseling.

Get your guy to counseling as soon as you can if thats possible.

PS-his wedding ring is lost somewhere in the kitchen or dining room and if I find it-I plan on hiding it. He throws it at me everytime he gets mad.


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## Goldmember357

RT50 said:


> Every few months my husband has these temper tantrums and threatens divorce.
> 
> He keeps threatening, but doesn't follow through. He said he's tired and me and my family and doesn't feel appreciated.
> 
> I'm exhausted and have emotionally checked out. I just don't know what to do. We actually can't afford to get a divorce. When things are good between us, everyone is happy, but then these episodes happen.
> 
> Does anyone have any advice? I'm desperate.
> 
> Thanks!


cool than perhaps you should lose. You are responsible for this situation you allow it to happen and you allow yourself to continue to be sad by staying in set relationship. Things often do not just happen people's actions lead to it and your actions of marrying such a man is why you are unhappy.

best of luck lets hope you find reality.


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## Goldmember357

that_girl said:


> It's emotional limbo and abuse for him to keep threatening divorce. It takes all security out of the equation of your marriage. You can't do anything wrong without fear of being left.
> 
> That's lame and that's wrong.
> 
> I'd have him served...to slap some reality into his stupid brain. You don't have to follow through but maybe some divorce papers will get him to shut the eff up.


how about slap reality into all people who act like they are the victims of everything? its not right what is happening to her or those who are betrayed but honestly it can be avoided if they had made better decisions "choices" in their lives and not gotten with people who behave in such a manner.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

RT50:
You keep asking 'What am I doing wrong?' to cause this behavior. You're not doing anything to cause this behavior. Your husband has some type of disorder as evidenced by his inability to get along with anyone: not his parents, not his siblings, not friends, not his wife. You can't LOVE HIM enough to change this. He needs medical help of some sort. Stop beating yourself up! If he gets help, you can make a decision at that point. If he refuses to get help, things will never change. Then you'll need to move on.

Goldmember357:
Wow, are you judgemental! You act as though everyone has a crystal ball and can see the future (they're apparently just too lazy to look.) You say it's not right that spouses are betrayed (by cheating spouses), but that it can be avoided by making better decisions by not marrying such people. Really?!? Do you think that the people on these boards KNEW that their spouses were going to cheat 4, 8, 11, 23 years in the future? Can't even take you seriously (and hope others on here don't either)! Perhaps you should change your name to Socrates since, apparently, you're merely a gadfly.


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## CantePe

RT50 said:


> Every few months my husband has these temper tantrums and threatens divorce.
> 
> He keeps threatening, but doesn't follow through. He said he's tired and me and my family and doesn't feel appreciated.
> 
> I'm exhausted and have emotionally checked out. I just don't know what to do. We actually can't afford to get a divorce. When things are good between us, everyone is happy, but then these episodes happen.
> 
> Does anyone have any advice? I'm desperate.
> 
> Thanks!


Call his bluff and say fine I'll file tomorrow morning then. I can gaurantee a bug eyed silent reaction...


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## par4

hnp said:


> My husband says the same thing at least once a month as well. I always tell him to take a midol and let me know when his period is over. I swear he may not actually have a period but he definetly has the symptoms. This is my second marriage his first we were together while I was going through my divorce. When my divorce was final I told him I was never doing that again so if we got married it had to be forever. He saw the good part of the divorce we were free to be together but he didn't go through the emotional roller coaster of a divorce.
> I always ask him when he calms done do you still love me? How would u feel if I was out of your life forever? How would u feel if something happened to me or u and we weren't there for each other? how would he feel about me being intimate with someone else? (this was something that took me by surprise when i got divorced the first time i heard my exhusband had a girlfriend. I freaked out that my at the time husband was sleeping with someone else and i too was with another.) These are some of the questions I answered when I got divorced but it was easy I had already had someone I loved when the divorce was final and I wasn't in love with my ex husband any more
> Another thing I take into consideration when he says stuff about divorce is : can I see him taking the time to find a lawyer. To pay a lawyer. To drive down to the courthouse and file. To pack up his stuff and leave. Hell no. My husband is way too lazy to actually do something about it. I take care of him way too much for him to leave. My husband is complacent with our marriage. So every month when he goes through his phases I just brush it off.
> A lot of time guys think divorce is as easy as a break up would be and it's not


 Very immature attention getting statement. Threats that don.t work in a relationship
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RT50

I'm pretty much emotionally checked out at this point. He just now called me at working say that he knows I've cheated on him. I have never been unfaithful to him or anyone. For him to think so little of me is sad. I don't know why I continue to let him treat me this way. He says he knows that I've done something, but he doesn't have proof. I'm so tired of it.

The sad part is that he's unemployed (I might have said that previously) and there is no way we can afford a attorneys right now. Guess I need to be saving what little money I have left after the bills are paid. I'm done.


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## Caligyrl

RT50 said:


> I'm pretty much emotionally checked out at this point. He just now called me at working say that he knows I've cheated on him. I have never been unfaithful to him or anyone. For him to think so little of me is sad. I don't know why I continue to let him treat me this way. He says he knows that I've done something, but he doesn't have proof. I'm so tired of it.
> 
> The sad part is that he's unemployed (I might have said that previously) and there is no way we can afford a attorneys right now. Guess I need to be saving what little money I have left after the bills are paid. I'm done.


 You are emotionally drained and that is beginning to make you feel physically drained too. Do not neglect yourself-especially now. It sounds like some time is needed to get your life together, that's why it's so important to keep yourself healthy and on top of your game. Try to check into low-cost or free legal help in your area. You may be able to find sources online who will work cheaper as well.
No one should have to be scrutinized and badgered like that. You owe it to yourself to get free and be able to live a happy normal life. Good luck. Please keep us posted!!


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## RT50

Update: Thanks for all of the support. This forum has been great. I actually have another thread in the "Depression, Anxiety" board.

My husband did admit to me that he is depressed. We had a great talk this past Sunday and he admitted to me that he has these "dark moments" and apparently this is the worst it's ever been. He even acknowledged that drinking doesn't help the depression. I told him I would do anything to support him. For the entire day I felt connected to him and I felt like I had my husband back and that we were making progress.

Then on Monday we were back to square one. I come home from work thinking that things are okay and he gives me the cold shoulder and goes out to drink. I was devastated. He has barely said two words to me all week.

Yesterday evening we got into a nasty argument. I was minding my business and watching some tv and he just went off on me and I honestly with all of my heart do not know what I did to set him off. I ended up telling him that if he wants the divorce let's just do it and get it over with. He had the nerve to tell me that the only reason he has threatened divorce all these years is to get through to me, that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Who threatens divorce to show love? He said he only yells at me because he loves me. I'm so confused. I don't know what he's trying to get through to me.

Today, I went home for lunch and asked him what I did to set him off yesterday. He couldn't even answer me. He just walked away. I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong. I try to give him space, but that doesn't work. I try to talk to him and he doesn't want to talk. 

Is this it? Is this the end?


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## Caligyrl

RT-I didn't go back and read whether or not your hubby has BPD or not like mine has but I will tell you something here-if you haven't looked into it-please do. It's name is Borderline Personality Disorder. Google it. It will give you so much insight on the whys and wherefores of that sort of behavior. I still cannot cope with some of it, but reading the book-"Stop Walking On Eggshells" has helped me immensely. 
It's not you-they hear what you say and interpret it completely different or they see you doing something and it triggers that anger or emotion that is always right there, but sometimes veiled. 
My husband turns on me when something goes wrong. Even if he is 100% to blame he gets mad and takes it out on me. I finally got him to understand and realize it one day and asked him why-he said it's because he can't get mad at himself and he needs an outlet. Guess who is closest!! I call Bull. It's an uphill battle, but if you have an inside tool-some knowledge snd wisdom, it may help you sort thru and sort out the mess you are in with him. Good Luck.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser

I hope to God it's the end, but only *YOU* can make that decision Your husband has a serious mental illness, and his drinking is NOT helping matters.

*Your husband has a mental illness. His thinking is convoluted, screwed-up. It's NOT YOU, it's HIM. His thinking is illogical and faulty. QUIT trying to make rational sense of it. Stop it.* 

Re-read the above paragraph OUT LOUD three times. Really, do it! Right now....out loud. (We'll wait.......................)

Well, did you HEAR yourself? Did it make sense to you? He is becoming more and more irrational. NOW you're 'cheating' on him. What's next? False abuse allegations? His paranoia is escalating.



> *He takes responsibility for his mistakes, but he continues to make the same mistakes.*


 If he continues to make the same mistakes, then he is NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEM. Taking responsibility means he would be getting help, making an effort to change. ALL he is doing is acknowledging his mistakes, but not responsibly making an effort to change. There's a BIG difference!



> there is no way we can afford a attorneys right now.


 There are resources you can try.

* An abused women's program (you ARE being mentally, emotionally and verbally abused) may be able to help you with temporary housing, counseling, legal advice, etc. CALL THEM UP THIS WEEK. If THEY can't help you, they can direct you to someone who can. Explain your story to them, YOU ARE BEING ABUSED.

* Legal Aid is listed in the yellow pages. They are located in ALL big cities and probably most counties in the country. They offer free or low-cost legal advice for the state you live in. Their fees are free or based on ability-to-pay.

* Church: If you belong to a church, contact your church leader. He/she may be able to direct you to help with counseling, financial aid towards bills, etc.

You're overwhelmed right now! God knows MANY PEOPLE on this board have been where you are now...emotionally, financially, spiritually. Come here WHENEVER you need somewhere to vent, advice from people who've walked in your shoes, or just an 'atta girl' for taking a step in the right direction. Believe me, when you take that first step towards reclaiming YOUR life, YOUR sanity, YOUR dignity, YOUR peace, not only will YOU start to feel better IMMEDIATELY, but there are hundreds of people (total strangers to you) here on this site that will CHEER RIGHT ALONG WITH YOU! We want a healthy/happy RT50 as much as you do!

Take a step THIS WEEK. Find a program for abused women (contact your local library's reference desk, or contact your city/county's Mental Health Dept. for assistance) and meet with or talk by phone with someone. THIS WEEK.

*hugs*


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## Uptown

Caligyrl said:


> RT-I didn't go back and read whether or not your hubby has BPD or not like mine has but I will tell you something here-if you haven't looked into it-please do. It's name is Borderline Personality Disorder.


Cali, I agree with you. Indeed, five weeks ago I made the same suggestion to RT in post #17 above -- at http://talkaboutmarriage.com/consid...band-always-threatens-divorce.html#post633693. Yet, because RT has mentioned nothing about it, she apparently felt that strong BPD traits are not applicable to her situation.


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## RT50

Yes, I've actually been reading up on BPD. I have to agree with you all that he does have these traits. Especially, when I read up on the causes of BPD. He definitely has major, major issues with his parents, his upbringing, and his childhood (or lack-there-of). However, how can he get help if he doesn't want to go talk to a professional?

Thanks you so much for your support.


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## Caligyrl

RT50 said:


> Yes, I've actually been reading up on BPD. I have to agree with you all that he does have these traits. Especially, when I read up on the causes of BPD. He definitely has major, major issues with his parents, his upbringing, and his childhood (or lack-there-of). However, how can he get help if he doesn't want to go talk to a professional?
> 
> Thanks you so much for your support.


RT-mine won't go either. He says he is right in his thinking and everyone else is wrong-even when others make comments to him echoing what I have already said to him. 
It's his disease that is affecting you-so YOU GO! If nothing else, it will help you understand, cope, give you reaction responses, diffusers, and ultimately will help you with your decision whether or not to get out. 
......every mental patient thinks they are the only sane one in the hospital.


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## Uptown

RT50 said:


> How can he get help if he doesn't want to go talk to a professional?


As Cali says, he can't. Yes, he can make a little progress by reading on his own but he won't get far without professional guidance. The problem is that BPD traits are "ego-syntonic," i.e., are such a natural part of the distorted way he has been thinking since early childhood that they are invisible to him. That is one reason that BPDers -- although knowing that they have something wrong with them -- cannot see the thought distortions as they occur.

Another reason is that, given their self loathing and deep shame, their subconscious protects them from seeing too much of reality (i.e., their flaws and mistakes) by projecting those flaws onto the spouse. The beauty of projection is that, by working subconsciously, it allows the BPDer to consciously believe the projected attribute is real.

Even in the unlikely event you get him to go therapy and stay with it, he won't make any progress unless he badly wants to do so for himself. Instead, he will just play mind games with the therapist. My BPDer exW, for example, agreed to go to weekly therapy at my insistence. And she "stayed with it" for 15 years, going through six different psychologists. Yet, because she lacked the ego strength and self awareness to work hard in therapy, it made no difference -- other than costing me a small fortune.


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## Caligyrl

Any updates on your situation?


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