# Need some advice please strange picture on partners phone



## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

I found this picture of another phones text convo. I confronted my partner of 17 yrs (2 teenage children ) he denied knowing it was there. He said it must of been his friends when they all went away to Wat h the football.
He said his mate must of been texting a prostitute as a joke then his other friend took a pic to show him, as he was asleep and they were drunk. 
I said to him why would they want to show you that specific page of the text it's not even rude or funny ?
All I can think is it was him that was texting one on his mates phone and took a pic on his do he had the address ? He's completely denies this and is calling me mad ,crazy etc .what do you think ? Is going on here please


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Check with the cellular provider in order to find out -- definitively -- whether or not he's exchanged any calls or texts w/ that number.

Any history of (known) infidelity in your relationship?

Oh and also, you really should edit that pic in such a way that the phone numbers are obscured.


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## RosaParks (Jan 4, 2016)

Yup, this is easy enough to prove. Your SO should be happy to show you the cell log if he is innocent. Do you have a family phone plan? All the calls can easily be discovered for each phone. If it is a business phone, he can copy the log for you. Can you account for his whereabouts on the date in question? My intuition tells me, however, it is not a prank among friends. I hope I am wrong. Good luck to you.


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## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

I will try and edit the picture.
Thanks for your replys
Yes he was staying at that hotel that weekend with friends as he went to watch football.
I don't think there would be any point checking his phone records as I am sure that he used a friend's phone, and that is what the picture is of.
He has just rang and is desperate to sort things out as there is such an atmosphere at home. He said he hates seeing me like this. Our girls are really picking up on it.
I said to him why don't you take a lie detector test just to prove that it wasn't you that sent the message.( I would never make him do that but was interested to see his reaction) he said no way I don't believe they are reliable so don't even talk about it again.
Unfortunately yes he cheated about 11 years ago.
I can't bear feeling like this I feel so down and dont no what to believe


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

The bottom line is he has to prove to you that he didn't nothing wrong, not the other way around. So if you want a lie detector get one, you should.
The evidence suggests the contrary and until you have other evidence, you assume the worst. The company he keeps is telling.


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## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

He said it was just a joke as his mates were drunk and his mate would never have visited one.
I said to him oh well tell your mates I said thanks for causing all this . He said they shouldnt of took a pic but that it was just banter and i wouldnt understand as i dont have a lot of friends and im not male.
He said he can't believe I'm going to let this ruin our future.
I just want to know the truth


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

The correct answer was "while I do not believe they are reliable, to ease your concerns I will take the lie detector test." 

Not "no way never ask again"

Get an STD test.

Are his friends married? Ask around the wives to see whose phone it was. The other guys will point their fingers at the guilty party right quick to save their own behinds.

He's cheated before so he has lost the right to any benefit of the doubt. He should have then known to stay far away from his friends' "prank" if that was the case.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

You also need to find out whose phone this is. Very well could be his own "burner" phone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Do not be put off by his responses and telling you that you are acting crazy, extreme, etc. Those are the responses of a man who has something to hide. You keep digging. Cheaters will try and put up a smoke screen and try to shift the blame onto you and say you are irrational,etc. A good husband does not let himself be in this position in the first place and if so then he acts openly and honestly with his wife/partner to put her mind at ease. You have every reason not to be at ease. Keep eyes open, keep digging and do not let it go, he has cheated before, he does not get a 'get out of jail free' card. That is of his own making. Stand firm.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Check phone records anyway.

Find out what kind of phone his friends use.

Pretty sure he's lying.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

He went with 2 friends and said the phone was the mate that's not married ! I don't know the other ones wife but could try and make contact .Even if just to see what phone he uses. 
I know he is lying but there's always that doubt .Especially when I'm being told I'm paranoid.And he can't believe I'm giving up on us now.He is good in every other way .My dad died last yr aged 63 and he was my rock.I can't bear the thought of prostitutes and things like that .It's so hard .If I didn't have the kids,5 dogs,2 pigs etc I would of been gone by now.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

He's using classic cheater's lines. Sorry.

I would definitely get checked for STIs


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

He's definitely lying. Who texts prostitutes "as a joke" anyway? He probably didn't want the call history to be on his phone/bill so used the single friend's phone. 

I had to look up what incall and outcall means. I had no clue.


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## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

That's what I said ! I said they are not in their 20s they are nearly 40 who does that as a joke ! He said I don't understand him and his friends humour! 
Yes I will go and get checked out .
He's not speaking to me now got in from work and straight in front room . God I hate this atmosphere


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## Sammy64 (Oct 28, 2013)

chardan said:


> That's what I said ! I said they are not in their 20s they are nearly 40 who does that as a joke ! He said I don't understand him and his friends humour!
> Yes I will go and get checked out .
> He's not speaking to me now got in from work and straight in front room . *God I hate this atmosphere*



Then why are you there !?


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## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

Because I can't just leave straight away .I have 5 dogs 2 pigs ,turtles a cat ,2 teenage kids a morgage etc .There is no rush . I have contacted estate agents so waiting gto hear back .
I've just got no one to talk to about all this.
Just wish I could get him to confess or something so I have no doubts at all .He knows all the right things to say to make me think I'm paranoid .


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## D1C (Aug 29, 2015)

So the logic is, he texted an escorts with another phone and sent himself a screenshot of it? Why? 

Yall real quick to call someone guilty. 

If the idea was to hide it, why send the evidence to himself? Either he's telling the truth or he's a grand idiot. And men pull pranks like this all the time, regardless of the age


And if he's telling the truth and you're on him like this, he won't let that go. If you're accusing him of this, you better be sure because this could backfire bigtime


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

I suspect he and the guys were drunk and they either ordered a prostitute or a stripper. He probably didn't think it was s big deal - he asks if touching is ok - so it seems like it might have been a stripper,

I'm not saying it's ok, but I am saying guys do this sometimes and don't consider it cheating. Kind of a slippery slope - just watching a stripper with the guys... Etc

I have been to strip clubs many many times and I always told my wife before and called after. I travelled for a number of years. It never dawned on me to cheat nor my wife - never worried. I didn't like lap dances as they were too personal but did put dollars in the g strings.

I've been on another thread involving strippers and some people said divorce and others said what's the problem. I'm not trying to start that up but am saying that a drunk guy could easily not really realize the situation until it gets going. Particularly if he WAS drunk and the other guys ordered the stripper and then texted that to him to rib him and show what was coming (or worse what already happened)

Just saying this is a possibility.

Can you directly contact the single guy and ask? He might be honest thinking it's not a big deal.


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## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

I think he took a pic of it with his phone so he had the address (if he had done it on another person's phone)
If it was a stripper I wouldn't be as bothered I don't think . But i googled tbe number and found its a prostitute.Didnt think u would ask if you were allowed to kiss a stripper .I thought it was prostitutes that some don't kiss ?


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Sorry you are here my lady.

Him calling you crazy,paranoid and how you dont understand his humor with his friend is so STUPID.

Dont let him do it. He took this picture by himself so he can brag around it.

It is not about age thing,him being 20 or 40. It is simple. He is married man with wife and children so he should not do this.

Have to ask you this. How was your marriage,you doing ok ?

Dont stop diging. Maybe you can find more evidence.


Stay strong.


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## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

Yes those solo strippers that do in-calls in their own hotel rooms. Smh

He took a picture of the phone so he would have the details on where to go. 

History of cheating leaves him with ZERO benefit of the doubt. He and his mates playing a prank and that's how the pic ended up there? Please. With his history he would know not even to joke about such things. His friends should have too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Maybe he took a photo of his friends phone so he would have prostitutes number for himself. Isn't that it at the top?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

chardan said:


> I think he took a pic of it with his phone so he had the address (if he had done it on another person's phone)
> If it was a stripper I wouldn't be as bothered I don't think . But i googled tbe number and found its a prostitute.Didnt think u would ask if you were allowed to kiss a stripper .I thought it was prostitutes that some don't kiss ?


And he agreed to go to HER hotel. How many strippers have their clients come to them (except in a club)??


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

D1C said:


> So the logic is, he texted an escorts with another phone and sent himself a screenshot of it? Why?
> 
> Yall real quick to call someone guilty.
> 
> ...


Wasn't a screen shot. She said it was a pic of a phone.


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## D1C (Aug 29, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> D1C said:
> 
> 
> > So the logic is, he texted an escorts with another phone and sent himself a screenshot of it? Why?
> ...



That doesn't make a difference. If you are using another phone to text an escort, why would you take a picture of the phone and text conversation?

The point of using another phone is to hide the evidence, why would you then send the evidence to yourself? Why not just text yourself the address? Or the number? Why send the whole thread asking about in all and all the details? That makes absolutely no sense At all... None. 


Unless this guy is just the dumbest person on earth.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Wacky. Idk.

Another strategy is divide and conquer. Are any buddies married? If so you could contact them and let them know you saw the pic of the phone and feel an obligation to let the wife know. Might get the truth... Or a different lie anyway


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

soccermom2three said:


> Maybe he took a photo of his friends phone so he would have prostitutes number for himself. Isn't that it at the top?


FWIW, the photo looks more like a screenshot than an actual photo.

Also, I really don't see what anyone could find funny about it.

OP, maybe go over to the hotel (Or is it hotels?) w/ a pic of your husband and ask if anyone there has seen him, especially on the evening that the pic/screenshot was taken.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> FWIW, the photo looks more like a screenshot than an actual photo.
> .


I'm confused, haha. Is the picture she posted: 

a photo SHE took of the screenshot on his phone. So that's his phone in the photo, OR

a photo that he took, (with his phone), of his friends text exchange.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

soccermom2three said:


> I'm confused, haha. Is the picture she posted:
> 
> a photo SHE took of the screenshot on his phone. So that's his phone in the photo, OR
> 
> a photo that he took, (with his phone), of his friends text exchange.


OK, so the pic that SHE posted DOES look like a picture of a phone displaying a screenshot. Now... whether the screenshot was taken on that phone or from another phone and then forwarded to the phone on which it is being displayed (in the pic)...? I couldn't say.

Whew!

OP, does the pic appear in the phone's "Photos" or "Camera Roll" app or was it retrieved from a text message thread?


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

I'm afraid you have him dead to rights on this one. 

Guilty as charged. The fact that he has previous history and is now giving you the silent treatment spells out his guilt.

Deep down you know the score. The proof is in the message.

He was texting a call girl


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## NotEZ (Sep 23, 2012)

It cant be the actual text conversation or a screenshot from the phone in the picture because there is no status bar (date/time/etc) across the top. I have a samsung galaxy. The only time that status bar disappears is when you are looking at pictures or playing a game in full screen. 

Someone used this phone to take a picture of this text thread on another phone. 



Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk


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## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

That was the exact pic on his camera roll. A pic of someone taking a pic of another phone .as I said I think it was taken just to get the address so he could find it as the phone was a friend's .
I contacted one of the friends wives yesterday and explained the situation. I said that her husband had nothing to do with it,but has her husband mentioned anything etc ? She agreed that she thought he single friend had a Samsung so could he his phone but couldn't believe the message.
I was on 1 by then and used his phone to text his single friend. I pretended to be my partner .I said Sams (me) going mad at the pic on my phone .he replied why it was me that met up with a prostitute ! 
I them said she wants to know where I was etc.he then put back you boys were at the hotel no bloody mystery there .
He definitely knew it wasn't my partner .The married friend must of got straight on the phone to him as he had also tried to ring my partner 3 times but he was asleep .to moan that I had contacted his wife ! 
In the end I said it was me. 
I told my partner about it this morning and he went mad screaming and shouting about getting another family involved. 
I explained that I just wanted to contact his wife not cause any trouble at all. But he is fuming!


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

What do you want to do at this point? What do you believe happened? I still think it's unclear. Single guy could have been with the pro and talked about it and H took the picture for future ref. Or called then. Or done it himself. Or...

If you are still unsure and it bothers you, you must turn the situation around. He doesn't get to be mad at you. That's his bed - he made it.

Is this enough for you to leave him? If so, he better understand that and open up and be honest. If not then he still needs to stop blaming you for his actions which are breaking your trust and give you a detailed accounting.

You did the right thing contacting the others.


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## ivory (Oct 23, 2015)

TheTruthHurts said:


> What do you want to do at this point? What do you believe happened? I still think it's unclear. Single guy could have been with the pro and talked about it and H took the picture for future ref. Or called then. Or done it himself. Or...


This might be right... also

A stripper is a prostitute imho... same exact creature. 


The picture was very likely taken with your partners phone for the purpose of saving the info. It would be great if he would just tell you what the heck happened. 

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a partner that you could grow close to with no secrets? Yes... that would be wonderful.


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## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

Hello,


All of this is not about strippers. Its sex. You can easily find these people soliciting "in calls" where you have to visit them or "out calls" where they come to you, on backpage or craiglist and they offer "full service" or "company". We all know what that means.


Aside from that, I don't understand why one would have a PICTURE of a phone, UNLESS HE TOOK THAT PICTURE himself.

If it is in the download section of the phone, THEN SOMEONE TEXTED him the pic and he saved it. 

If it is in the CAMERA ROLL then he took the PICTURE HIMSELF.


Your husbands needs to cut those friends off. People who EXACERBATE cheating and other borderline wayward activities need to go. 



Boys nights out are over with since he got married. Time to grow up now.


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## D1C (Aug 29, 2015)

That's not necessarily true. My phone puts all pics in 1 folder, download, taken, etc. 

No boys nights because your married? Wow man.... Smh


Basically all you have is this pic... Not really a smoking gun because you can't prove anything. I'd drop it and just keep my eyes and ears peeled for other indicators. 



Or you can charge him guilty and leave.....if you planned on leaving in the first place. If you didn't, none of this matters anyway


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## ivory (Oct 23, 2015)

D1C said:


> That's not necessarily true. My phone puts all pics in 1 folder, download, taken, etc.
> 
> No boys nights because your married? Wow man.... Smh


That's just for mature and intelligent couples that intend to stay together. 



D1C said:


> Basically all you have is this pic... Not really a smoking gun because you can't prove anything. I'd drop it and just keep my eyes and ears peeled for other indicators.


It is a smoking gun on the strait up lie on how the picture got there. 



D1C said:


> Or you can charge him guilty and leave.....if you planned on leaving in the first place. If you didn't, none of this matters anyway


There is nothing in the post that indicates she was planning to leave before this event.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

My wife encourages me to have boys night out. Happens rarely and last time I invited her - she didn't come - afterwards I told her there were some women too and she would have been welcome - maybe next time she'll come.

The issue isn't GNO vs BNO vs nothing - it's trust.

Please explain to him that until he sits down with you, explains in detail what happened, stops blaming you, takes ownership and shows remorse - that your marriage is in peril! You must get through to him that a breakdown in trust is all it takes to destroy a marriage.

If you read the infidelity threads here you will see that the loss of trust (from trickle truth, lies, blame-shifting) kill the marriage. The affair is the start but the betrayal and loss of trust are the deal breakers. Your H has been using all of these trust-killing tactics.


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## D1C (Aug 29, 2015)

ivory said:


> D1C said:
> 
> 
> > That's not necessarily true. My phone puts all pics in 1 folder, download, taken, etc.
> ...


So you can go out with your friends if you get married? 


Some controlling people here....



And you know him and you know he was lying about the picture? Gotcha....


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## ivory (Oct 23, 2015)

*most defend-able explanation.*

His pal was going to meet a hooker and your partner took the picture so that in the case something bad happened to his pal, your partner would have an idea of where to search for him. But your partner can't remember this as he was blacked out at the time from alcoholic overdose. 

Alcohol is the cause of much stupidity and is the root cause of the errors that led to the creation of this thread.


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## ivory (Oct 23, 2015)

D1C said:


> So you can go out with your friends if you get married?


Sure I get with my friends all the time. But not for a "guys night out." I can't think of any serious reason why I would want to hang out with a bunch of guys at night. My wife is much more fun than any guy or group of guys. 



D1C said:


> And you know him and you know he was lying about the picture? Gotcha....


I can imagine a bunch of idiots getting together, getting drunk and being stupid enough to start texting hookers and taking pictures with one of their married pals phone. (a prime example of why "guys night out" is for only the cheesiest of boys) But if they were all that stupid, and he continues his idiocy with his failure to understand her concern, then why would she want to continue with a fool?


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

ivory said:


> His pal was going to meet a hooker and your partner took the picture so that in the case something bad happened to his pal, your partner would have an idea of where to search for him. But your partner can't remember this as he was blacked out at the time from alcoholic overdose.
> 
> Alcohol is the cause of much stupidity and is the root cause of the errors that led to the creation of this thread.


Wow that's a great thought - would be great if it wee true - and if not, if H were smart enough to use that excuse. I would probably actually do that with my buddies...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I once found some images on my computer. A well-endowed and very sexy young looking blond woman on a beach. She looked very fit and about 30.

I thought :wtf: how had *they* got there?

I flipped through the images and realised that the woman was actually our next door neighbour who had been on holiday to their native country.

I deleted the folder and could only surmise that she had accidentally hooked into our Wifi and downloaded the images.

I told my wife about it and she said: "Time to change the wifi password, I think!"

BTW, the very fit woman who look about 30? She's actually 58! 

Also, it would be easy to plant such an image on a phone. Just borrow a "friend's" phone, take the picture and it is saved to the phone, especially if it is an Android phone.

Who would do this? Someone with a nasty sense of humour.


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## Deguello (Apr 3, 2015)

IMO,he's up to something,keep digging,get tested for STD'S,and tell him why,you need to protect yourself,he's hoping that this will blow over,set up a lie detector test,or just tell him you did watch his reaction,if he is innocent he'll do it no matter how reliable he thinks they
Are or are not he has to prove his innocence. Good Luck


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

*Re: most defend-able explanation.*



ivory said:


> His pal was going to meet a hooker and your partner took the picture so that in the case something bad happened to his pal, your partner would have an idea of where to search for him. But your partner can't remember this as he was blacked out at the time from alcoholic overdose.
> 
> Alcohol is the cause of much stupidity and is the root cause of the errors that led to the creation of this thread.


That would have been a better story than the ridiculous one he came up with that his friends were playing a prank.

OP, is your partner's phone password protected?


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## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

No it hasn't got a password on


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## chardan (Jan 4, 2016)

Does anyone know if prostitutes make their clients where condoms? I thought they had to ?


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

chardan said:


> Does anyone know if prostitutes make their clients where condoms? I thought they had to ?


I dont know about them,they are not my type  but I always used condoms when I was in new relationship.

I hope for your sake they made him use it.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I'm just guessing here, but I bet they charge more with out the rubber.

I'm thinking a lot pimps would not want to loose the income by losing their wh0se to pushing out babies so there is a good chance the pimps might pay for condoms.

And I'm sure the johns would want to wear one.

But at the end of the day that kind of thing isn't about safe sex, from a prostitutes stand point....it's about money, so the only thing the prostitutes *has* to do is make money.


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