# Hello



## Farmerswifey

Hey everyone, I've never participated in anything online like this before however I kept finding myself back to this site in reference to Google searches I'd spend hours completing hoping to uncover the answers to all the issues in my marriage. So, I decided to join. I've been married for 15 years, we have one child who is 9. I am a very literal person and I love discussing topics like sex and attraction, desire and the possibility of non monogamy. I read everything I can find that I can learn more about my marriage and myself. I'm partnered with a man who could care less about any matter of the heart and if it weren't for the occasional loss of inhibition thanks to vodka and Adderall, I know this is sad, I would think he hasn't any capasity to love at all. I'm more confused than ever and I am hoping to find something although I'm not sure what I'm even looking to get out of joining this site. I honestly need connection. To be a part of something. I hope I find that here.


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## arbitrator

*Hoping that your stay here at TAM is a most enjoyable and redeeming one! We are all here to help you, just as we ourselves might be called upon to solicit your help and advice.

Welcome to the TAM Family, @Farmerswifey *


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## sokillme

Welcome. So that sounds kinda sad. Have you told him how much you are missing emotional intimacy in your marriage?

By the way you might want to think about changing your avatar, with the ease of reverse image search you might want to keep your anonymity.


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## MattMatt

Farmerswifey said:


> Hey everyone, I've never participated in anything online like this before however I kept finding myself back to this site in reference to Google searches I'd spend hours completing hoping to uncover the answers to all the issues in my marriage. So, I decided to join. I've been married for 15 years, we have one child who is 9. I am a very literal person and I love discussing topics like sex and attraction, desire and the possibility of non monogamy. I read everything I can find that I can learn more about my marriage and myself. I'm partnered with a man who could care less about any matter of the heart and if it weren't for the occasional loss of inhibition thanks to vodka and Adderall, I know this is sad, I would think he hasn't any capasity to love at all. I'm more confused than ever and I am hoping to find something although I'm not sure what I'm even looking to get out of joining this site. I honestly need connection. To be a part of something. I hope I find that here.


Did you mean you are a very literal person?


> (of persons) tending to construe words in the strict sense or in an unimaginative way; matter-of-fact; prosaic.


Or a very literate person?


> having or showing knowledge of literature, writing, etc.; literary; well-read.


Or did you mean that you are a very liberal person?


> open-minded or tolerant, especially free of or not bound by traditional or conventional ideas, values, etc.


Would I be right in presuming that you want to swing and your husband doesn't?


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## Tron

MattMatt said:


> Would I be right in presuming that you want to swing and your husband doesn't?


:surprise::surprise::surprise:

Holy cow Matt Matt! You don't mess around! Let's get right down to the nitty-gritty, indeed.


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## Blaine

Welcome farmers So what seems to be the problem we can help with?


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## threelittlestars

Farmerswifey said:


> Hey everyone, I've never participated in anything online like this before however I kept finding myself back to this site in reference to Google searches I'd spend hours completing hoping to uncover the answers to all the issues in my marriage. So, I decided to join. I've been married for 15 years, we have one child who is 9. I am a very literal person and I love discussing topics like sex and attraction, desire and the possibility of non monogamy. I read everything I can find that I can learn more about my marriage and myself. *I'm partnered with a man who could care less about any matter of the heart and if it weren't for the occasional loss of inhibition thanks to vodka and Adderall*, I know this is sad, *I would think he hasn't any capasity to love at all. *I'm more confused than ever and I am hoping to find something although I'm not sure what I'm even looking to get out of joining this site. I honestly need connection. To be a part of something. I hope I find that here.


So... You claim he has no capacity to love unless under the influence. I think that is very doubtful. 

He likely escapes an equally miserable marriage from his perspective you may be cold and cryptic. Maybe you want him to read your mind. 

I think this is more of a love language issue added in that you just want to step out of your marriage. When you open your marriage that is often the death knell to the relationship. 

i think this is simple. You want to cheat, but you don't want it to look or be wrong. You rationalize what you believe to support what you want. 

.......I think you need to do more reading here......It is not that we are not pro poly relationships, it's that we don't really see them working or actually being healthy. Looking to other people to give you a thrill the feeling of chasing IN LOVE feelings is chemical and in excess can be detrimental. Not to mention, chasing it when you have a husband and family is SELFISH. 

Please, welcome, My bark is worse than my bite. Read, and read and keep posting. Maybe we can help you see all angles of this issue.


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