# How quickly do you respond to texts, etc.?



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

I have people in mylife in which if I text them often they will take hours or days (or never) to get back to me,yet when they text me I respond fairly promptly maybe not minutes (though often I have as I have my phone with me a lot but at the most no more than a few hours. Often when it is not convienent for me I still respond back because I feel like that is the polite thing to do.

It's weird because when I have tried this in the past, I always feel guilty and then think whatever, just get back to them...


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I respond when I can. If someone doesn't respond right away to me, I usually don't think anything of it. If someone becomes really high maintenance and the response they expect from me, I usually just stop texting with them. Back in the dark ages before we had texting, you had to wait until the next day or maybe the next week if it was long distance to talk to someone. Believe it or not, nobody died lol


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Good tip for life: don't expect other people to react the way you do. To anything. Better to have curiosity about why they react differently than to have expectations that other people will conform to your behavior, desires, preferences, etc.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

I quickly respond to texts. However, I dont think ive answered a phone call from anyone besides my wife I several years. Unless it was from a company I'm doing business with or something like that. Even my own mom knows to just text me anymore. I HATE talking on the phone.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Depends on how important the message/person is to me. If they _consistently_ don't respond to you for a while, you're probably low on their list of priorities. I usually get back to people within minutes.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I am not glued to my phone so I can take time to get back to people. Sometimes I don't even notice I have a text for a few hours.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

I am not under any obligation to respond quickly to anything unless my quick response is necessary, such as what movie to go and see that night, etc.. For some reason people today seem to think that their texts must be responded to immediately and if not take it as an insult or purposely ignoring them. In my pre-cell/internet days, we were not reachable until we went home for dinner. This forced us to set places and times to meet all of our friends where we would make our plans for the week. We were a social circle who actually spent time with each other and got to know each other’s family members because if we wanted to spend time with someone and not tie up the family phone, not to mention the high cost of phone calls, we went to their house and hung out with them there. 

Even now I have very long term friends who do not get bent out of shape if I do not call them for months. We all understand that we have our own lives to live and we will talk to each other when we feel like it and not out of any obligation. Works for us.


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## Bluesclues (Mar 30, 2016)

I respond pretty quickly because I find as I get older that I forget to if I don’t do it right away.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

personofinterest said:


> I respond when I can. If someone doesn't respond right away to me, I usually don't think anything of it. If someone becomes really high maintenance and the response they expect from me, I usually just stop texting with them. Back in the dark ages before we had texting, you had to wait until the next day or maybe the next week if it was long distance to talk to someone. *Believe it or not, nobody died lol*


How about the guy pinned under an I beam, bleeding profusely as he makes a phone call to a friend (he conveniently had a landline near him, but the 9 and 1 did not work) and had to leave a message, then passed out? Did he live?:grin2:

Yeah, I just reply to "urgent" texts promptly, and other ones depending on how busy I am and also how punctual the other person is. Urgent in quotes because there is always 911 if needed.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

For texts, I typically respond pretty quick. Don't bother calling me though. Unless you are my W, sister, or parents I don't answer the phone for anyone else.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I quickly respond to texts. However, I dont think ive answered a phone call from anyone besides my wife I several years. Unless it was from a company I'm doing business with or something like that. Even my own mom knows to just text me anymore. I HATE talking on the phone.


Ditto Ditto Ditto.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I'll be honest, 99% of the time the people who are in a wood about slow text responses or those people who don't understand that most of us have lives and jobs. It's one of those things that reminds me of high school when Susie would get mad that Johnny didn't stop by her locker in between classes.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I answer as quickly as possible when it appears to be time sensitive. 

You should do what feels right to and not because you expect others to respond in kind. Additionally, make sure you don't hold others to high standards that you don't offer up yourself. I remember one woman in my social circle being negligent in returning calls/ emails to me. But then got pissy when I took my time to respond to an email from her.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> I answer as quickly as possible when it appears to be time sensitive.
> 
> You should do what feels right to and not because you expect others to respond in kind. Additionally, make sure you don't hold others to high standards that you don't offer up yourself. I remember one woman in my social circle being negligent in returning calls/ emails to me. But then got pissy when I took my time to respond to an email from her.


Yes and that is what happens they get annoyed when you don't respond back.


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## Holdingontoit (Mar 7, 2012)

Some of us don't even look at our texts until lunch time or the end of the day. Do not assume that just because my phone beeped or vibrated that I took it out of my pocket to see who the text was from, much less to read the text. Sometimes I do not reply to texts for several hours because I did not look at my phone for several hours. Not all of us have a Pavlovian reflex or obsession with immediately looking at every text or voicemail that arrives on our phones.

Sometimes I plug my phone in during the day at work and forget to put it back in my pocket when I walk away from my desk. Sometimes I go out to lunch without my phone. And even if I notice, I do not immediately run back to my office to get the phone. I am without a phone for over an hour! Oh, the horrors!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Just because my phone makes a noise I don't pick it up or even holding it I may not stop to look.

It may be hours before I read a text, sometimes days to respond unless a timely expected conversation going on.

If it's important they can call. I don't always check my vm.
If it's important they'll call back.

My W and I don't expect immediate responses from each other even, unless preplanned communication takes place. 

If there's an emergency she'll call.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Holdingontoit said:


> Good tip for life: don't expect other people to react the way you do. To anything. Better to have curiosity about why they react differently than to have expectations that other people will conform to your behavior, desires, preferences, etc.


Golden advice here. 

I'm one of those people who is bad at responding to texts right away. Sometimes I don't see them right away. Sometimes I do see them, but don't have enough mental energy to respond at that moment because I am tied up doing other things. For example, my mom often texts me some sort of existential crisis or detailed question in the middle of my work day. I cannot drop what I am doing at that moment to devote the time to responding in a meaningful fashion, so I let it go until I am at a point in my day when I can provide a decent reply. 

I also have anxiety issues and need to be in the right headspace to be social and respond to incoming messages. Sometimes a voicemail or text pinging at me is enough to spike my BP and I need to give it awhile until I'm in the right mood to chat. I devote all of my "social" energy to my professional life and forcing myself to respond to all of those calls and emails immediately on a daily basis. Any more incoming messages that are not work related get put on the back burner. 

My H and I don't even really interact much during the day. Sometimes we text each other and it takes several hours to hear back. I never really thought anything of it, just that he must be busy. We don't feel the need to be in constant contact and I've always found people in my life who DO expect that of me to be very taxing. 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

As someone who lived many years before cell phones and texts, this thread has been especially interesting to me. Times change and I had to move along with the tide. Depends on who, their known or expected situation, what I'm doing, time of day, and if I need a nap.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

One irony that I find with communication devices is that whenever I am waiting for someone to respond, I am told to be sensitive to the other person, ie they could be busy. I am not the center of their life and so on.......

However, whenever I am informed that I have a message, I am then asked are you going to call / contact them NOW? as if, what? I am on that person's pay roll or something........


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Thanks for all the input...you are heard!!

I guess the issue is more with me in hindsight. I think too sometimes I place expectations on people and I am learning that the less expectations you have of others the happier you are!

I do think that I am going to work on not responding so quickly unless it is urgent because I think the issue is me and feeling this need to get back to people asap or what will they think...


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I learned long ago that I'm not the "leader of all free persons" and that all persons, loved ones and friends included will act how they're going to act.

I can't control their behavior. Especially my dear W 😍😍.

But that said, this realization to me was greatly liberating.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I learned long ago that I'm not the "leader of all free persons" and that all persons, loved ones and friends included will act how they're going to act.
> 
> I can't control their behavior. Especially my dear W 😍😍.
> 
> But that said, this realization to me was greatly liberating.


True!

I think part of the problem is cell phones and how we know that everybody has one on them all the time. Back in the day where it was emails, it was easy to think that well somebody was not on their computer for whatever reason...

Plus that being said, there are a few people in my life that I know just simply deliberately choose not to respond just to be an ass. LOL...mainly family!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

We have a saying; just because you emailed or texted me, doesn't mean you've reached me or successfully communicated with me.

An email doesn't absolve you of meeting your responsibility in a true attempt to communicate with me.

We get so many emails and texts we're numb to the immediate response feeling. 

For me, that comes with the thousands of work emails and my dear W, it's a reflection of her independent streak. And she doesn't always have her phone with her, in every room, or at work.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Usually instantly.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

I use my phone for business and personal and I have found that some are good at texting back quickly and other could be days, while some do not reply at all and it doesn't matter whether they are male or female.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

If the text says it’s urgent, I’ll respond immediately. Otherwise, it depends on who it is and what I’m doing at the time. 

I always respond to my husband and my Mum as soon as I see it though.


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## twoofus (Jun 16, 2017)

I consider my mobile phone is for MY convenience, not anybody else's. I'm not going to let it be an unnecessary interruption to whatever I'm working on. I do look at texts and respond if necessary, but it may be at the end of the day or next morning. I pick up on calls from close friends and family if I have the phone with me. If it is that important, they know to try the land line if there is no answer from the mobile.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

highwood said:


> I have people in mylife in which if I text them often they will take hours or days (or never) to get back to me,yet when they text me I respond fairly promptly maybe not minutes (though often I have as I have my phone with me a lot but at the most no more than a few hours. Often when it is not convienent for me I still respond back because I feel like that is the polite thing to do.
> 
> It's weird because when I have tried this in the past, I always feel guilty and then think whatever, just get back to them...


*I'm really a whole lot like you, @highwood ~

But please don't ever feel guilty. Sometimes extenuating circumstances can well dictate as to when you can timely respond!*


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