# How to Completely Emasculate Your Husband



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

1) Refuse him affection. If simple avoidance doesn't work, you can say "break" as if you are
refereeing a wrestling match when he touches you.

2) Insist on controlling the finances. Use all the disposable income for yourself and your kids. 
Better yet, get a credit card or two so you can put him in debt instead of simply exhausting 
the current supply. Just wait until one comes in the mail, fill out the application, and
forge his name on the signature line. When he finds out you haven't made a payment on his
credit card in a year, and confronts you, just tell him "....the first thing wives learn to do is
sign their husband's name...".

3) Make him your "girlfriend". "Share" and boast the exaggerated details of your sexual activities 
prior to your marriage. Especially the ones who were better looking and "bigger". After all,
"truth" is important in a marriage. Make sure he understands he's not "the one", he's "one more".

4) Don't forget to "thank" him for helping around the house, however, clearly point out how you would
have done it better, or how "men" just don't "get it". For variety, try asking him to do something
smack in the middle of his work day so that he has to "choose" you over his conscience about being 
fair to his employer. If his conscience "wins", and he hasn't responded to your request in 2-3 
minutes, immediately assume the task yourself loudly. Bang doors closed, drop heavy objects so 
he will know that you're doing it yourself, and you're angry because he didn't do it soon enough for you.

5) Complain about your economic state. Example, "I hate this house", "I despise living here", 
"WE need to have more property". Watch all the TV shows depicting 30-year-old yuppie couples with 
million-dollar home budgets buying 3500-square-foot ocean-front houses. Call him away from
his work to "...come see this...", and tell him how much you love that place, and how you wish
you could afford one like that.

6) Find something wrong with whatever he does. Point out how other men have done similar tasks much
better than he did. You can make this far more emphatic if you choose a task in which you know
your husband has a limited skill-set, and another man who is gifted at it.

7) Watch movies, TV shows, and go to concerts and theaters where you can swoon like a teenager over
the male participants. This is especially effective if you have refused your husband sexually
for about 3 months prior to the event. 

8) Point out how other men in different lines of work make more money than him, and how you wish he
were employed in a different capacity which is more compatible with the economic level you want
to live at. A prime opportunity is when your husband has lost his job, laid off, etc. Tell him
YOU can get him a job with one of your old boyfriends.

9) Make sure your husband thoroughly understands how you married him for his "qualities" and not
because you were sexually attracted to him. Precede your statement with how there were some
men in your past that you wanted "only for their body" but that he's not one of them.

10) Express your plans in abstract so that he must attempt to read your mind about his role in them.
Then, when he asks for clarification of his role, reply to him condescendingly with "isn't that what
I just said ??".... 

11) Keep a running dialog with your "ex". Invite him to family gatherings along with your husband. Tell
your ex about your husband's sexual difficulties and get some "advice". This is made even more
complete when your "ex" offers your husband viagra.

12) Take your husband to parties where you know one of your "exes" is going to be. However, don't explain
ahead of time that someone you were involved with in the past is going to be there, or if you don't know
he's going to be there ahead of time, neglect to tell him after you arrive. Don't give your husband any
chance to bow out gracefully, after all, the party is a hell of a lot more important to you than your
husband's feelings. After your husband receives a couple hours of innuendos, "looks", "stares", and 
just plain downright rudeness from the guy, explain "oh, that's just how he is" so that your husband 
gets the complete message that you think he's an imbecile whom you can lie to and get away with it.

#13 ? Anyone ??


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

What is the purpose of this thread?

I'll try

13; talk down to him, when you are explaining something that he is not quite getting or raise your voice


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

TJW said:


> 1) Refuse him affection. If simple avoidance doesn't work, you can say "break" as if you are
> refereeing a wrestling match when he touches you.
> 
> 2) Insist on controlling the finances. Use all the disposable income for yourself and your kids.
> ...


You are still not over this woman who died in 1990.You post a thread about her every couple of years it seems.
You need help dude,professional help.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

#13 Tell him he just likes to complain and is too stupid to get a divorce


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> You are still not over this woman who died in 1990.You post a thread about her every couple of years it seems.
> You need help dude,professional help.


Holy Cow!:surprise:


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)




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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Damn, @TJW, having read your rather long list of husbandly "emasculates," greatly prompts me to ask ~ did you marry my RSXW?*


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## a_mister (Aug 23, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> You are still not over this woman who died in 1990.You post a thread about her every couple of years it seems.
> You need help dude,professional help.


In fairness to this poster, I took a look and I see what you're saying, but it seems that he's remarried and that he speaks of the scolding, condescending woman in present-tense.

Individual counseling to figure out why he hasn't hired a lawyer yet seems appropriate.


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

#14 - Routinely insinuates (while joking) that she would rather be a lesbian so she can live with her girlfriends but she "just can't do vaginas".


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

a_mister said:


> In fairness to this poster, I took a look and I see what you're saying, but it seems that he's remarried and that he speaks of the scolding, condescending woman in present-tense.
> 
> Individual counseling to figure out why he hasn't hired a lawyer yet seems appropriate.


He was single as of 2015 when he last had a thread


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

No one can make you emasculated unless you let them. 
I am not attracted to men who need ego validation. Either be confident and "manly" or don't but don't blame it on someone else when you aren't.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

Sadly, there are are lot of emasculated men out there today. I'm not certain as to why, but I think modernity and prosperity has softened up men, and the blurring of gender lines also may have something to do it. But rather than getting distracted about the whys, the focus should be more on growing a pair.

To paraphrase Elanor Roosevelt: No one can emasculate you, unless you let them. I see a lot of men who come here who would rather vent, rant, be nice, and avoid conflict than establish boundaries and enforce them.


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## a_mister (Aug 23, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> He was single as of 2015 when he last had a thread


Hm, OK. Looks to me like his 2015 thread is about his present-tense wife telling him he's a disappointment in the sack compared to her ex.

Either way, that's a long time to hate your wife.


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

Women giving advice on this topic is like a man giving advice about dealing with menopause. The man has a ton more to lose in divorce so he puts up with a ton more **** than a woman would. Call it being emasculated, but I wouldn't judge a man without walking a mile in his shoes. Many men sacrifice living with a monster of a wife to be able to be with their kids. Some men are long term planners and have a 10 year out plan. You don't know really. It's too easy to sit on the sidelines and comment on someone else's life without all the information.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Boundaries...

There is Always a way out.











You should have done it then. You chose not to because leaving an addict was more fighting to you than staying. 

She is gone a long time now, it's spilled milk. Yet it's still not too late to get help. 

Best


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

And many women stay with monster men. It's not easy for many women to leave either. Average child support is dismal and these days they are also dealing with losing their kids 50% of the time. 

If you don't like your situation, do something about it. Staying and complaining is unmasculine. Earn respect, it's not going to just get given to you.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

If a man puts up with being treated badly he's emasculating himself. The end.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

MJJEAN said:


> If a man puts up with being treated badly he's emasculating himself. The end.


:iagree:

This man can't figure why any man would behave in such an insipid way.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Personal said:


> :iagree:
> 
> This man can't figure why any man would behave in such an insipid way.


It seems the least masculine men are the ones complaining about being emasculated. :scratchhead:


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

MJJEAN said:


> It seems the least masculine men are the ones complaining about being emasculated. :scratchhead:


Yep. Complaining about their situation yet doing nothing about it is the least manly thing. It has to be someone else's fault. They are just nice guys and women are big, bad monsters who won't treat them like men. Whining and putting it all on women for how they are being treated. 

Want to be a man, act like one. Why should anyone treat you like a man when you can't even? 

If my bf ever whined about mean women I'd never respect him again.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Personal said:


> :iagree:
> 
> This man can't figure why any man would behave in such an insipid way.


Insipid, yes that is the word. I was vomiting a little bit in my mouth reading the OP.

Self emasculation, IOW grow a pair.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I would just wonder why he married such an awful woman.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> I would just wonder why he married such an awful woman.


Because she only took her 'nice' mask off after the wedding?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Because she only took her 'nice' mask off after the wedding?


So he only knew her for a few weeks then????


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> I would just wonder why he married such an awful woman.


*Speaking for myself, that is exactly why I'm scared crapless to love, trust and then get married for yet a third time. Regarding my resounding fear of a mate cheating on me, I just don't think that I could handle a third episode! I would rather be lonely alone than to enter into and worry myself sick about the possibility of a third infidelious relationship!

Some people seem to be just so much better alone!*


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Diana7 said:


> I would just wonder why he married such an awful woman.


I have found that some of these men picked these women and overlooked a lot because they were really hot. Hotter than they typically had and they were flattered and overlooked that she was also horrible. 

That's not all of them obviously and most hot women are not evil but I've seen a few who's only positive about their wife is her looks. For men who only look for that in a partner they miss all the other important things.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

arbitrator said:


> *Speaking for myself, that is exactly why I'm scared crapless to love, trust and then get married for yet a third time. Regarding my resounding fear of a mate cheating on me, I just don't think that I could handle a third episode! I would rather be lonely alone than to enter into and worry myself sick about the possibility of a third infidelious relationship!
> 
> Some people seem to be just so much better alone!*


I understand that, we are both in second marriages and my husband's ex-cheated after 23 years. Remember though that there are many people like you and us who would never cheat. 
My brother had 2 wives who cheated, one 4 times, he has been with a really nice lady for many years now, although they haven't actually married as yet. I hope they will.:smile2:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> So he only knew her for a few weeks then????


Some people do change after the wedding. And often for the worse.

The woman in my first LTR had been married before. He was the perfect husband for the first six months. Then he started to beat her, eventually hospitalising her.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

knobcreek said:


> #14 - Routinely insinuates (while joking) that she would rather be a lesbian so she can live with her girlfriends but she "just can't do vaginas".


To clarify, are the vaginas in question "cavernous"


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

knobcreek said:


> Women giving advice on this topic is like a man giving advice about dealing with menopause. The man has a ton more to lose in divorce so he puts up with a ton more **** than a woman would. Call it being emasculated, but I wouldn't judge a man without walking a mile in his shoes. Many men sacrifice living with a monster of a wife to be able to be with their kids. Some men are long term planners and have a 10 year out plan. You don't know really. It's too easy to sit on the sidelines and comment on someone else's life without all the information.


The person who earns more might have to give up more. With 50% of women earning as much or more than their husband, this is evening out more and more these days.

For example only about 15% of divorced men pay alimony these days and the average alimony is about $300 a month.

Plus it my understanding is that the OP is perhaps married for only a few years right now. Alimony is not ordered in short term marriages in most states these days.


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## a_mister (Aug 23, 2017)

Diana7 said:


> So he only knew her for a few weeks then????


A large percentage of people who are like this are at least somewhat aware they are like this and hide it until they have control over a person.

With that said, it's my observation that their partners often rationalized away the warning signs. There's an explanation for everything, whether it's the partner's emotional baggage from a prior relationship or whatever else, because they want to believe it's going to work.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Some people do change after the wedding. And often for the worse.
> 
> The woman in my first LTR had been married before. He was the perfect husband for the first six months. Then he started to beat her, eventually hospitalising her.


If the person is honest, there were often some red flags.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> The person who earns more might have to give up more. With 50% of women earning as much or more than their husband, this is evening out more and more these days.
> 
> For example only about 15% of divorced men pay alimony these days and the average alimony is about $300 a month.
> 
> Plus it my understanding is that the OP is perhaps married for only a few years right now. Alimony is not ordered in short term marriages in most states these days.


Yep it's much more even these days. I left with practically nothing, lost the house and all equity, get no child support or alimony. No vehicle. He made more, I didn't have any fight in me and rather just leave with nothing. 
He sees the kid whenever he wants and can. I'm broke as heck now but it's so worth it. 

People just have to decide if money is more important than happiness. It's never impossible to leave, people just get accustomed to a lifestyle they don't want to give up.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> People just have to decide if money is more important than happiness.


For me, the decision to remain married is not based upon money. My wife has the ability to support herself and has had a long history of a good income. She will not be awarded large portions of my future earnings. There is no basis upon which she can plead the court for this.

I recognize that I would not be "happier" divorced than married. I'm a geek. I cannot attract women based upon the things of marriage which are important to me. I can only attract them based upon my reliability, ability to earn a good living, and kind and loving behavior towards them. Marriage, for any woman I encounter, will be based upon those attributes, and will never have anything "in it" for me.

So, divorce simply wouldn't provide any better alternative, and it would be costly in time and effort.

Since it is my "nature" to provide as well as I can, to be faithful and loyal, and to treat other people with kindness no matter how I am treated by them, I will be a "target" who brings out the disrespect of others. I don't wish to "lose" these attributes, so I will basically attract the kind of women who are "users".


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

TJW said:


> For me, the decision to remain married is not based upon money. My wife has the ability to support herself and has had a long history of a good income. She will not be awarded large portions of my future earnings. There is no basis upon which she can plead the court for this.
> 
> I recognize that I would not be "happier" divorced than married. I'm a geek. I cannot attract women based upon the things of marriage which are important to me. I can only attract them based upon my reliability, ability to earn a good living, and kind and loving behavior towards them. Marriage, for any woman I encounter, will be based upon those attributes, and will never have anything "in it" for me.
> 
> ...


Geeks are hot. I happen to love them. I'm a geek myself so we have all kinds of geeky fun! Go to an expo or sci fi events, lots of women want a loyal geek who can support HIMSELF and not need to use him. They will also have what you need. A loyal, good woman who wants you for you, loves sex and having fun. 

There is happiness out there. I promise you.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

It's a shame you let your wife emasculate you so.

Sadder still, that you continue to emasculate yourself by 1. reliving it and 2. lamenting your shame in front of everyone else.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

You're right that I'm ashamed of it. But, it was the genetic lottery. And, not even God can change the past.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

Part of the problem, imo, is that todays 'modern man' has never been taught how to be a man AND has been constantly taught to suck it up, women are better, and a bunch of other liberal clap trap. Our society has done a lot of damage to men in how they are raised. We are now in the 2nd or 3rd generation of relatively emasculated men.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

TJW said:


> You're right that I'm ashamed of it. But, it was the genetic lottery. And, not even God can change the past.


You don't have to be hot to get a quality woman. We just don't like pity parties and whining, bitter men, low confidence. Stop looking for reasons why the world is against you, why it's other things that are at fault for why you aren't getting quality partners. 

You control you. There's no woman that can make you feel anything. There's no genetics that are preventing you from a suitable match.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

naiveonedave said:


> Part of the problem, imo, is that todays 'modern man' has never been taught how to be a man AND has been constantly taught to suck it up, women are better, and a bunch of other liberal clap trap. Our society has done a lot of damage to men in how they are raised. We are now in the 2nd or 3rd generation of relatively emasculated men.


Men who are anti-women, "liberal clap trap" are the most emasculated in my eyes.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

TJW said:


> You're right that I'm ashamed of it. But, it was the genetic lottery. And, not even God can change the past.


The genetic lottery had nothing to do with how you let your wife treat you.

No, you can't change the past, but you sure as hell can affect the course of your future.
Step one: stop whining about the past. Learn from it and use that knowledge to improve your future, but don't dwell on it.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> Men who are anti-women, "liberal clap trap" are the most emasculated in my eyes.


Of course you feel that way, you are a woman. You really should do some research on why boys are now only about 40% of BS degree earners, you might learn something that is outside what you inherently think you know to be true.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

naiveonedave said:


> Of course you feel that way, you are a woman. You really should do some research on why boys are now only about 40% of BS degree earners, you might learn something that is outside what you inherently think you know to be true.


If it's women that men are trying to attract, they won't get far with a "poor men" mindset. It's not something we are going to think is manly or someone quality to be with. 

No one owes you respect. You earn it. If you aren't getting it, fix it. It's no ones fault but your own. Blaming women or liberals or society is just not owning up to your own faults and that's not an attractive quality.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Diana7 said:


> If the person is honest, there were often some red flags.


None whatsoever, she told me. 

His parents died six months into the marriage and that was the only thing she could think of that triggered his rages.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> Men who are anti-women, "liberal clap trap" are the most emasculated in my eyes.


It's not emasculation. *It is disempowerment* by a manipulative person. 

And men and women call fall victim to this.


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

SlowlyGoingCrazy said:


> If it's women that men are trying to attract, they won't get far with a "poor men" mindset. It's not something we are going to think is manly or someone quality to be with.
> 
> No one owes you respect. You earn it. If you aren't getting it, fix it. It's no ones fault but your own. Blaming women or liberals or society is just not owning up to your own faults and that's not an attractive quality.


I agree with your 1st-5 sentences. however, most/many men today are not 'taught' how to be masculine, so when they fail, they revert back to what they are taught. Which is the exact opposite (in many instances at least on TAM) of what they need to be doing. Blaming gets you nowhere, but understanding why you continue to fail, even after following the exact advice/training and learning you had your whole life is important. And the liberal clap trap is part of the problem, especially for guys like the OP in this post. he needs to 2x4 to change how he views life.


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