# In love with someone else



## Marie2046 (May 27, 2016)

Husband and I have been married almost 6 years, we married after only knowing each other a year. I had recently ended a long term relationship and he was the first guy I talked to right after that. My parents were strict and didn't let me do much (I was only 19) I thought I knew it all and I thought that getting married would allow me to have more freedom I remember thinking "yeah I guess I could spend forever with him, he's a good guy" but once we got married it was hell, he cheated and had a drug addiction that I helped him overcome we fought to make our marriage work and it did until we tried to have a baby. It was one of the hardest things I've ever been through, infertility really made me depressed and I started questioning what I really wanted. After over 2 years I found someone else, I selfishly began seeing a man who I have an amazing connection with and has made me fall completely in love with him. I'm a horrible person because once my husband changed he became an amazing man, what any girl would be lucky to have but somehow I just never found the spark I never truly was in love, it almost feels like a good friendship. I asked him for a separation twice and it wrecked him, he refuses to let me go no matter how much I tell him I don't want this anymore. It feels like every time I just seem to give in to staying because i feel sorry for him. I hate hurting him but I don't know if I should try or not. My biggest fear is leaving and regretting it or letting go of the other man I'm so crazy about, Who feels the same way about me. I've never felt so confused in my life


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

The man you are crazy about most likely isn't anything special. He's just new, and you don't know about, or have to put up with, any of his problems. Which makes him seem incredible, when in reality you just haven't stepped in his crud yet.

When you met your husband he was new, exciting, and there wasn't anything wrong with him - until you married him. All his problems came to light, and everything wasn't all fun and games anymore. A big portion of marriage is everyday life, and it's not reasonable for you to expect it to be a thrill 24/7.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

I don't know what to say. Maybe his cheating on you early on in the marriage stopped you dead in your tracks when it came to falling in love with him. 

Take a time out from both. Separate yourself from the two of them and find yourself before you do something you will regret. Best and only thing I can think of. Known your heart and you will know what to do. You can't do that around them two.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Welcome to real life with little to no boundaries. Looks like you and your husband weren't very honest with yourselves and much less to each other. 

That happens. Time to start being very honest with yourself. Are you happy with your marriage? Can you fall in love with your husband again and remain happy and faithful to him? If you can't, then end it and stop using him a cushion to land on if the new guy doesn't work out. 

your happiness counts and you are the only one that knows what the truth inside you is. You feel sorry for your husband because you feel guilty for not loving him. Well quite frankly I can't say I blame for not loving him. He made some terrible mistakes and so have you. Forgive yourself and him too and try to find happiness foe You! 

Therapy is a great start!


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## niceguy28 (May 6, 2016)

Marie2046 said:


> Husband and I have been married almost 6 years, we married after only knowing each other a year. I had recently ended a long term relationship and he was the first guy I talked to right after that. My parents were strict and didn't let me do much (I was only 19) I thought I knew it all and I thought that getting married would allow me to have more freedom I remember thinking "yeah I guess I could spend forever with him, he's a good guy" but once we got married it was hell, he cheated and had a drug addiction that I helped him overcome we fought to make our marriage work and it did until we tried to have a baby. It was one of the hardest things I've ever been through, infertility really made me depressed and I started questioning what I really wanted. After over 2 years I found someone else, I selfishly began seeing a man who I have an amazing connection with and has made me fall completely in love with him. I'm a horrible person because once my husband changed he became an amazing man, what any girl would be lucky to have but somehow I just never found the spark I never truly was in love, it almost feels like a good friendship. I asked him for a separation twice and it wrecked him, he refuses to let me go no matter how much I tell him I don't want this anymore. It feels like every time I just seem to give in to staying because i feel sorry for him. I hate hurting him but I don't know if I should try or not. My biggest fear is leaving and regretting it or letting go of the other man I'm so crazy about, Who feels the same way about me. I've never felt so confused in my life


Have you had ever had to go through difficult stuff with the other guy. Have you had to to deal with life's challenges with the other guy. Have you ever had an argument with the other guy? If the answer to these questions is no then you do not need to leave your husband for this guy.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Tell him you've been cheating.

He'll probably let you go after that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Cheating never solves anything. 
Running from one man to the next will not solve your problems.
You need to become independent. 
Living alone has its own advantages, you will enjoy being as free as a bird! 
(Especially if your parents were strict) 


Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> Cheating never solves anything.
> Running from one man to the next will not solve your problems.
> You need to become independent.
> Living alone has its own advantages, you will enjoy being as free as a bird!
> ...


Strict parents are not necessarily a bad thing....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

@ABHale depends on what version of "strict".



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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> @ABHale depends on what version of "strict".
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk



Is hanging your boys by their toes when they misbehave count as the wrong "version"? 🙉🙈🙊🤔
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

@ABHale sometimes parents can be too strict & the child has no confidence and self-esteem, have codependent issues. 
When in adults, if they're unhappy, the look outside (cheating) the relationship if unhappy to find someone else to be with quickly, instead of focusing on why they're unhappy in the first place. 


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

MrsAldi said:


> @ABHale sometimes parents can be too strict & the child has no confidence and self-esteem, have codependent issues.
> When in adults, if they're unhappy, the look outside (cheating) the relationship if unhappy to find someone else to be with quickly, instead of focusing on why they're unhappy in the first place.
> 
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk



I know what you mean. No matter how strict I am or was with my three they always know I love them with all my heart. I am very involved with my kids to the point that many of their friends call me dad as well. I brought my boys up to be boys, but to treat girls with all the respect in the world. I read a book "Interviewing Your Daughters Date". Then turned around and used that as a guide, my parents D when I was 4 only saw my dad about a month during the summer so I never had a roll model to look to. Mom never remarried and the guys, well no need to go into that. As for my little girl I always told her how special she was and that she could do anything she put her mind to. She also get a hug and kiss everyday or vice versa and never felt unwanted. I had been there made damm sure my kids never felt that. But thru all this they have chores to do and I make sure they get done. So now all three from 19 to 13 will give a hug and say I love ya any where we might be. We also laugh and joke around until we are crying, I am truly blessed with my kids. They are my world.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Any man who would cheat with a married woman isn't much.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

ABHale said:


> I know what you mean. No matter how strict I am or was with my three they always know I love them with all my heart. I am very involved with my kids to the point that many of their friends call me dad as well. I brought my boys up to be boys, but to treat girls with all the respect in the world. I read a book "Interviewing Your Daughters Date". Then turned around and used that as a guide, my parents D when I was 4 only saw my dad about a month during the summer so I never had a roll model to look to. Mom never remarried and the guys, well no need to go into that. As for my little girl I always told her how special she was and that she could do anything she put her mind to. She also get a hug and kiss everyday or vice versa and never felt unwanted. I had been there made damm sure my kids never felt that. But thru all this they have chores to do and I make sure they get done. So now all three from 19 to 13 will give a hug and say I love ya any where we might be. We also laugh and joke around until we are crying, I am truly blessed with my kids. They are my world.


This is so amazing. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job. I love my kids and they are my everything. Would not change them for anything. Many blessings.


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## hanerykroze (Jun 1, 2016)

Get married in small age is wrong. A lot of changes come between the age of 18 to 25. Person get attracted to others many time.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

You all chased off another one. You were supposed to be understanding and supportive. What the hell is wrong with you people?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You left your husband over four years ago. If you two have no kids, make your legal status match your actual status so you can live with a little integrity. You're not doing yourself or either guy any favors by giving small portions of yourself to both. If you do have kids, do what you know is best for them (not what you feel is best).


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> You all chased off another one. You were supposed to be understanding and supportive. What the hell is wrong with you people?


Damn. I missed my chance to say something witty.  

Well its probably for the best she left. This is not a pro cheater shop anyhow  

C


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

Clay2013 said:


> Damn. I missed my chance to say something witty.
> 
> Well its probably for the best she left. This is not a pro cheater shop anyhow
> 
> C


But..but...she has an "amazing connection" with the new other man.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

I'm sure it will be wonderful until the new improved steve 2.0 comes out. You know that super shiny model that doesn't talk back. lol


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

brooklynAnn said:


> This is so amazing. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job. I love my kids and they are my everything. Would not change them for anything. Many blessings.



Thank you. Does a heart good to hear that from time to time.


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