# I'm Scared to get pregnet ! is that Normal?!?



## Punkie (Jan 24, 2009)

Alright this might sound werid to some people but, I have to get this out there because, I am always had a werid feeling about becoming a mother. I love Kids! I really do and I want to be A mom but, the idea of birth scares me!!! I Mean scares me like no other! that's what stops me from TTC! I am also scared If I was to get pregent if later on my husband & I don't work out I then would become a single parent! I think to much on all this!

Alot of my friends are married and have kids already and I feel bad that I havent even had a baby yet. I want one but im scared. 

Another thing is my hubby is in the army and I dont want to do this alone if he has to go to Iraq at some point.

I am soo stupid for thinking this.


I also dont want my body to change where I hate it more after birth. I dont want my husband to think different of me.



please get back to me please.


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

I've never met a woman that wasn't scared of at least some parts (if not all parts) of pregnancy and/or parenthood. 

Most of the things you've mentioned are typical fears. It's not stupid... it's NORMAL!!!

Also, what's TTC?


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## sarah.rslp (Jan 2, 2009)

I think its a byproduct of couples planning pregnancy carefully. I know with me we've been off and on planning kids for the last year and a half but we keep deciding to put it off.

The fear aspect is that the after the amount of thought we've put into it, it just seems to be always on the horizon.

As for pregnancy and the army, I'm sure the armerican army is like the British army and their will be a whole support network in place.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I don't think worrying about being alone with a new baby if he is deployed is stupid at all. It's a very real possibility and it's much better to think through these things than to have regrets down the road. I don't know how old you are, but waiting until you feel settled about the idea isn't a bad thing. 

As far as being afraid of childbirth, if it were that bad no mom would go through it more than once! It varies from one woman to the next and sometimes one birth to the next...I can tell you I've had three and probably all 10's on the difficult scale, but still went through it 3 times! My body recovered just fine & if your husband is like most new dad's he will think differently of you--that you are the most amazing woman on the planet for bringing your child into the world.

Wait until it feels right, but please don't scare yourself out of it if it's what you really want.


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## Punkie (Jan 24, 2009)

GPR said:


> I've never met a woman that wasn't scared of at least some parts (if not all parts) of pregnancy and/or parenthood.
> 
> Most of the things you've mentioned are typical fears. It's not stupid... it's NORMAL!!!
> 
> Also, what's TTC?



TTC = trying to concive


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## Punkie (Jan 24, 2009)

I don't know if I can get myself to have a kid . I am scared Im never going to give my husband a baby .


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

And is your husband wanting a baby now or something?


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## Punkie (Jan 24, 2009)

GPR said:


> If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
> 
> And is your husband wanting a baby now or something?


I am 22 , he's also is the first guy I slept with . I waited this all means so much to me. Umm he always says he wants to have a baby at some point. and his friends wife Just had a baby soo I am sure hes thinking about it and he was talking today about how my belly would be soo cute if I was prego .and I dont say anything .


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## GPR (Jan 3, 2009)

First of all, at 22, you've got a lot of time if you want. In time you can sort out some of these fears you have.

Second, just because he wants kids eventually, doesn't mean that he wants one right now, or at least wouldn't wait for a while. 

Obviously, babies happen, but if you have the choice, it's always best to wait until you are as ready as possible. If I had the choice, I wouldn't want a baby right now if there was a chance my spouse might get shipped off to another country. But that's just me.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

im scared to have a baby, too. ive watched three older sisters go through it, and i was there for the births. ive seen what it does to their bodies. i think im traumatized. and i just dont know if i can handle the no sleep thing and being constantly responsible for another life. im gettin' close to 30 and feeling pretty stressed about the whole thing. 

so i think your fears are completely justified.


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## Punkie (Jan 24, 2009)

I know what your sayin I Just hope I get over this fear. because when ever the time comes when he is ready for a family I want to be able to give that to him .


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

ya me too. and i dont want to wait until im older b/c i know the risks are higher for the baby. and plus, i will be more tired and all that. recovery is slower. but at the same time, i dont want to have a kid when im not ready. it really is stressful.


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## Punkie (Jan 24, 2009)

ljtseng said:


> ya me too. and i dont want to wait until im older b/c i know the risks are higher for the baby. and plus, i will be more tired and all that. recovery is slower. but at the same time, i dont want to have a kid when im not ready. it really is stressful.


Yah I know what you mean . I watch um those baby shows on tlc and I think about becoming a mommy and I get happy and think about it and then i get scared again.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Punkie-

What were you thinking???

Having read your first thread, I'm not surprised you are scared of getting pregnant. It is your intuition warning you that your marriage is not ready for a baby. Until you are more or less 100% happy with your hubby, don't do it!


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

:iagree: I agree with Mark, if you are not happy in your marriage DO NOT HAVE A CHILD...

it is not fair to the child and it will not amke a marriage better.

It will make it more stressful.

Wait unitl you are happy in life.

My mother had me when she was 39 years old...plenty of time to have a child.


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## Earthmother1970 (Oct 10, 2008)

:iagree: with both of the above.

Having a child is a huge commitment. It will not bring you closer together as a couple, it will only cause greater stresses in an already unhappy marrige. 

You have stated in a previous thread that your husband is verbally and emotionally abusive - not a good environment in which to bring up a child. There is a good possibility his emotional/ verbal abusing will also be heaped on the head of any child you have. Do you want a son growing up to treat women the way your husband treats you? A daughter to have no idea of how a man should treat her with respect and dignity?

You are young, and have so many years ahead of you in which to become a parent - wait until you are ready and in a happier life.


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## Sprite (Nov 3, 2008)

I agree with all of the above. If you do NOT feel it, do NOT do it. Bringing a baby into this world should not be done because one spouse or the other wants it. It needs to be mutual or you will have nothing but regret and a hard time with your decision.

If you have the fear that your marriage might not work...thats a good indication that you are not ready to bring a baby into the marriage.

ANd I am sorry, but for your husband to say that your belly wont be as cute?!?!?!? That sounds to me like a man who is not completely willing to go through the changes that will occur. If he is telling you that now..what will he be saying when your belly gets huge?(And I dont mean to scare you with that...its just a fact of pregnancy...it can and will go away if you work at it after the baby is born)

If you have any doubts about it, thats your conscience telling you to hold off until you are absolutely possitive you want this.


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## broken (Feb 2, 2009)

It costs about $100,000 but you can have someone else do it for you. Someone else to carry the baby in their uterus with your egg and your husbands sperm. Hey her body and not yours, its just costly.

Don't have a kid JUST BECAUSE everyone else is having babies. Do it if it is right for you. It is normal to not want to have kids. Its much better to not have one then have one and then regret it because you can't take it back.


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