# Am I overreacting about this?



## Piecukonis (Apr 3, 2010)

OK so I have been feeling like my husband is immature regarding our sex life and especially has a childish way of approaching foreplay. It just seems like it's a joke to him and it turns me off. I have tried a few times to mention these things to him but he just kind of blows it off.

Example:

I dress up in a sexy dress and let my hair down and throw on some mascara when I know he's on his way home from work. (I am a stay at home mom and basically live in my PJ's but ALWAYS get dressed up before he gets home)

So I greet him at the door and he says in a high pitched sing songy voice "ohhhh sexy" while he jiggles my boob and gives me a peck on the lips.

This pisses me off.

What I want is him to see me.....embrace me with a full on kiss and say seriously "wow baby you look so hot" 

Is that so much to ask?


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## Piecukonis (Apr 3, 2010)

To add: Of course I can't just tell him outright....this is how I want you to greet me in return, this is what I want you to say and how you say it. That is ridiculous and then if he does it...I'll know it's faked. 

I guess I just feel like....even as a stay at home mom I make sure to not be the norm and go out of my way to clean up and dress up to be sexually appealing to him and then the minute I see him I feel like he is mocking me.


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## nevergivingup (Jun 23, 2010)

Aw.. I think it's cute. I don't know how to make him be serious... But personally I wouldn't worry about it until he stopped touching you completely... Makes you kinda miss those silly things.


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## Piecukonis (Apr 3, 2010)

Yeah...I suppose. We are having sex "issues" and this is one of the smaller things that has led to the bigger problem. At first I was irate thinking that he was the one losing interest in me and in sex but the more I have thought about it I realize I am also to blame and pushed him away. I also lost interest. I am desperately trying to get that back.

For instance today...once again I put on a dress before he got home...a short black one that shows lots of cleavage (his fav). He used to always harp on me because I was a jeans and tee kind of girl but over the last 6 months I have made a change to wear cute and sexy dresses for him most days of the week. So he comes home today and did not even say "hey you look good" or beautiful or whatever. 

His job is hectic and he works sometimes 12-14 hours a day...I understand he is tired and stressed and physically spent but this is his job...it's not going anywhere. Do I just have to sit here and take this? For instance, today we were supposed to set aside time to discuss our sex issue further (his idea and a great attempt at woking through things by communicating with me) well...he just passed out on the couch the minute he finished his dinner. This is so typical of him. 

I am trying to get him to see a doctor to check his hormones, check for depression, there has to be a reason he is SOOOOO tired all the time. It's bad. I can't leave him alone with our 2 toddlers because he falls asleep and they get into everything...they could get hurt. I don't let him drive anymore when we go places because he falls aslepp behind the wheel. This is a daily thing. He is only 26! He sneaks away while at work to take naps. Our relationship is suffering because of all this and I am working so hard to try to fix it and nothing is happening.


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## strawberry (Jun 21, 2010)

maybe he have sleep apnea.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Piecukonis said:


> His job is hectic and he works sometimes 12-14 hours a day...I understand he is tired and stressed and physically spent but this is his job...it's not going anywhere. Do I just have to sit here and take this? For instance, today we were supposed to set aside time to discuss our sex issue further (his idea and a great attempt at woking through things by communicating with me) well...he just passed out on the couch the minute he finished his dinner. This is so typical of him.


 How many days is he working those kind of hours? I think any man would be overstressed and have too much on his mind with hours like this. Seriously. Testosterone levels do go down somewhat when stressed and overworked. 

I am a stay at home Mom too and my husband does not work those kinds of hours-thankfully, cause I know if he did, he would be much less available to me and the kids. 

Is he getting a good sound 8 hours of sleep each night ? This is also very important for keeping healthy testosterone levels. And how is he eating, a healthy balanced diet. Make sure all of this is in order for awhile & see if any improvement in his energy & stamina. And hopefully you are handling ALL of the chores at home & shopping, anything & everything you can do to help his work days go smoother, like getting up every morning to cook his breakfast, packing his lunch. Maybe you are already doing these things, I don't know. 

I was once worried about my husband's Levels, he was not working alot of hours but had stress on the job for a few months, I was not watching his diet, nor seemed to notice if he was getting adequate sleep at night (keeping kids quiet, keeping him up for "our" time). I started to watch these things , and it has helped. He "Feels" better, not as tired. 

Was he always the joking type, even before you married? Might just be his way.


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## marga88 (Jun 17, 2010)

I will agree witht he above comment. if you work hard from 12-14 hours a day, you'll probably get stress and have no sex drive left sometimes.


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## nevergivingup (Jun 23, 2010)

Yikes, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was so serious.

Have you researched these symptoms? Or does he even realize that it's happening, and you're scared to leave the kids with him?

I'd definitely not drop the doctor thing... gotta get him there somehow!


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## Piecukonis (Apr 3, 2010)

I have actually wondered about the sleep apnea. He is getting set up with a doctor today  

His job goes through phases where some months he is working hours like that week after week..this week alone he has worked horrible hours 3 days...then he goes through periods where he works 9 hours a day everyday for 3-4 months so it goes up and down. His satisfaction with his job and co-workers is awful though. He is very unhappy and is currently looking for a better job which I fully support. 

The thing is...this is his job. It's not going anywhere right now it's just our reality but I don't feel like it is a good excuse to let sex and our family and relationship go down the drain. I feel like he is always saying...I am stressed and had a bad day so I am not going to be available to you and the kids. Sorry. This gets old after a couple of years. 

It may be depression which is something he is going to address with the doctor as well.

I do manage the kids, finances, household chores, and most errands on my own. I even took over taking out the trash and mowing the lawn. There are times few and far in between that I ask him for help with these things and it's never on a bad work week. 

His diet is horrendous and he smokes like crazy. This is another thing he is discussing with his doctor. We both are not very healthy food wise and both are working on that and currently on a diet together. We are trying so hard to choose healthy foods. He admits his weight is part of his problem and lack of energy. 

Whew...we have a lot of work to do but we will get there!


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## Piecukonis (Apr 3, 2010)

Oh and he is NOT getting a good 8 hours of sleep a night. Why? because once the kids go to bed his way of destressing from the day is to play video games until 2-3 am. So you can see where I feel like he is not prioritizing and feel offended by his "I'm too tired" stuff.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

my H also gets silly about sex. its a huge turn-off. and i know what you mean about not being able to spell it out for them- that doesnt work either. Sorry, i dont really have any advice for you. I've just given up.


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