# Angry and Sad Mixed Together



## BronteVillette (Jun 16, 2012)

Driving home from work I saw _them_ strolling down the street hand in hand. I feel destroyed! I have been NC since Thursday and it has been awful. I am trying to keep myself busy and not think of it, but I live in a small town and things like this are bound to happen. He seemed so happy, laughing and holding her close. Is it wrong to wish he was as miserable as me?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

You don't need to wish it at all. He will be...eventually. For him, it will likely be way worse than it is for you because once the affair ends, he will have the hurt of two relationships to deal with. Consider yourself the lucky one.

Keep up on the NC and stay strong. It will get better.


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## BronteVillette (Jun 16, 2012)

samyeagar- Thanks for the encouragement. I sometimes think I'm doing a little better (not great, mind you) and then WHAM, it hits me. 

They've been together for nine months now. He admitted that he thinks they might be serious. _Is_ this just an affair or am I being replaced for good? *How long can this last?*

When he moved into his new place ten days ago he invited me over to see it (at 11:30pm). I could tell he was feeling down, so of course like a desperate fool, I went. Shortly after my arrival, he told me he was sorry he called and that it wasn't fair to me. 

While there, I noticed candles and bubble bath on his dresser (there is a large claw foot tub in the bathroom). I know it wasn't for me and I'm sure he wouldn't do that just for himself. This is something we never did together. Granted, we never had a tub big enough, but it hurt just the same. And it was almost like he was flaunting it. After nine months, they are still in the romance phase.

Sometimes, I imagine he is probably relieved that I don't contact him anymore. This way, he doesn't have to deal with the guilt. This is all too much. I know I shouldn't assume, but I can't seem to stop these ideas circling around in my head.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Wow. I am so sorry you are having to deal with all that and that he is being a complete ass about it too. What was he thinking inviting you over like that? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING going over there like that? No contact is no contact. 

Trust me, I know how hard that is, clinging to any litlte scrap they feed us and savoring it like a five course meal. I've been where you are, and it's rough, but you have got to start thinking about you, and ignoring him. Have you taken any steps to end the affair yourself? 

NO CONTACT or you will just drive yourself to despair even more. Just remember that there are a whole bunch of people here for you


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