# Wifey, mates, booze and withdrawal...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

So things have been going well marriage-wise, myself though... I've been going through alcohol withdrawal symptons to the point I've been suffering insomnia and it seems, a personality switch

Last weekend wifey was taking the piss outta me in front of our mates and embarrassing me, and after confronting her in private she says that it's my influence on her (taking the piss)... :scratchhead:
Which in a way, when I put two and two together, it all kinda makes sense - yes it is my influence =/

Sometimes it's funny, and I laugh with everyone, but other times I think she crosses the line a bit, though she believes I've changed abit with quitting booze - more self-conscious and less "take nothing seriously" mentality... one of my mates also agreed with her when I told him...

I don't know, sure I can shove a sock in her mouth the next time but my gut tells me what she says is true, it's like a mid-life crisis!
How can I deal with this? I'm thinking of going back in the booze, it seems no one knows the sober me =/


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

This is a healthy change and she should be supporting you.

May be a case of misery (Her) loves company.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Dude,

The issue is the same as it ever was.

Both of you trying to get "one up" on the other.

Good luck.

(It won't work)

But, nothing anyone here tells you will change a goddamn thing.

Carry on.


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## Peachy Cat (Apr 15, 2012)

Have you done your 4th and 5th steps yet?

Perhaps opening up to her about how you know she's been hurt by your behavior when you were using will allow you to transition to the topic of taking it a little easy on the teasing.

Question: is she drinking in front of you? she needs to support you and not tempt you for the early part of your recovery.

DO NOT DRINK TODAY.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I went back on the booze... it wasn't just my wife but everyone noticed the personality switch, from work, to mates to our marriage...

Everyone and the missus especially "encouraged" me through "politically correct" words to continue my struggle against alcohol yet do not appreciate the "sober" me... oh well

I'm not blaming this on her, but damn a bit of support in this endeavour could be good... It's funny really, I went back on the booze and I was more switched on and witty, and dished sh-t straight back like I normally do

I don't really blame her or anyone else really, everyone's used to me over the years and I've always been an alcoholic, not everyone is ready for change


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## Blank (Apr 15, 2012)

After reading this am reminded of the book I read long back-

Games People Play by Eric Berne. 

looks like all of you are playing the game- "Alcoholic"
to the exact rules and roles as defined in this book

Alcoholic
Berne doesn't delve too much into the question of whether alcoholism is a disease or a choice. He simply points out that it often takes the form of a game, with the central character (White) playing the Alcoholic. It's generally a five-player game, although it can be condensed into only two-players if necessary.

The lead-supporting character (Black) takes the role of Persecutor, typically played by a member of the opposite sex such as a spouse.

And so on and on and on..........

Wonder if I can get download somewhere now?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

:scratchhead:


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

What does this mean, "taking the piss out of me"? Is this like "dressing you down", "chewing you out", berating you in front of your friends?


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> What does this mean, "taking the piss out of me"? Is this like "dressing you down", "chewing you out", berating you in front of your friends?


It means to mock or ridicule someone.

The really strange thing about it is those who take the piss, those who give it out can’t take it when it’s done to them. Much like RD.

The very worse thing to do is to ask them to stop. They actually think that’s even funnier! The very best thing to do is to mirror their behaviour and mock and insult them relentlessly for a while. It soon puts a stop to it.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It depends on the mood, without alcohol, I do seem to have become a lot more sensitive then usual. I do take the piss as much as I give it out, except when I'm not exactly in the best of moods - like with alcohol withdrawal and the personality switch I recently suffered.


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## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

I think you're too easily influenced by others. No one else could accept the change so you changed back for them. That's weak... where's your own identity??? You didn't even give it hardly a chance for yourself.

They've got you right where they want you kid... drunk and impaired and can't think for yourself. When are you gonna open your eyes? Wake up and be your own man.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well... my identity over so many years has been so closely related to alcohol =/ I've also taken pride in it, and to be honest I don't even know why I decided to quit... The funny thing is that alcohol in moderation makes me much more switched on and alert, probably only due to the long-term addiction however.

It's ironic that the missus complained about the drinking - only when I don't spend enough time with her... but not drinking makes me colder instead, so I also don't spend enough time with her! Besides I don't really like the sober me either really it seems, I lost weight, lost sleep, haven't really been functioning correctly.


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## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

Excuses RD... just excuses. If you have to live your life behind a bottle to feel normal then you'll never try to be any better than what a bottle enables.

Alcohol isn't clarity, it's _escapism_. You're constantly _running away_ and you'll spend the rest of your life running if you let the bottle own you.

Give sober a fighting chance... you might find that true clarity is a higher high than you've ever known.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I tried it for nearly two months, it's affected my marriage, my friendships, my work, but most importantly my health... I did give it a shot at least - out of the blue as well

Oh well =(
Maybe next time, or maybe I'll try to quit slower, instead of cold turkey


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

A mate of mine gave up about 30 years ago. Any day you ask him, he knows to the minute the time since his last drink.

At his last visit, his doctor gave him 6 months to live. Still that didn’t stop him. What did stop him was when he couldn’t control his bowls and he **** in his pants in front of people. He hasn’t drank a drop since.

He thinks it’s people with victim personalities that become alcoholics.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

AFEH said:


> A mate of mine gave up about 30 years ago. Any day you ask him, he knows to the minute the time since his last drink.
> 
> At his last visit, his doctor gave him 6 months to live. Still that didn’t stop him. What did stop him was when he couldn’t control his bowls and he **** in his pants in front of people. He hasn’t drank a drop since.
> 
> He thinks it’s people with victim personalities that become alcoholics.


He's right


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

If you do ever try to get off the booze again, try the "Relationships & Addictions" section. I've got a feeling that people in that section would have been a little more suitable to help out.

Is there an Alcoholics Anonymous in Australia?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I have been going to IC yes but quitting alcohol is not a case of simple willpower for me

I quit for absolutely no reason just to try it, and it worked, but negatively affected my thoughts, health, emotional stability, energy levels, and heck - the lot. Quiting cold turkey really messed me up, won't be doing that again lol

Maybe later I'll quit more slowly, but for now I guess I'm back to enjoying the booze for a while


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