# Do you enjoy weddings?



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

We have a family wedding coming up in a few weeks and honestly can't wait until it is over with. Number one it is in-law wedding and number 2 I would rather be sitting around a campfire talking, roasting weiners and wearing casual clothes instead of going to a wedding.

I hate dressing up and as for dancing...not a big dancer so could care less about that. H was saying maybe we should practice 2 step, etc. and I said meh, we can wing it if need be...lol Plus nobody is looking at us anyway...they are all looking at the bride and groom.

Wedding have never been my thing, kind of seem like a pain in the ass

I work with a girl who loves weddings, gets so excited for them...I am the complete opposite.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I used to love them when I was young. Now I just go when I have to for the cake lol. My favorite weddings are the ones that are on a Saturday night. Friday night I don't want to schlepp to a wedding after working all day. Saturday afternoon weddings just blow your whole day.

I love dressing up, but not to go sit somewhere and hear stuff recited. And in my denomination, we do cake and finger foods. There's no fun dancing or champagne or anything.

Now, if it's a Presby or Lutheran wedding, that is different. Those things are like parties lol


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

personofinterest said:


> I used to love them when I was young. Now I just go when I have to for the cake lol. My favorite weddings are the ones that are on a Saturday night. Friday night I don't want to schlepp to a wedding after working all day. Saturday afternoon weddings just blow your whole day.
> 
> I love dressing up, but not to go sit somewhere and hear stuff recited. And in my denomination, we do cake and finger foods. There's no fun dancing or champagne or anything.
> 
> Now, if it's a Presby or Lutheran wedding, that is different. Those things are like parties lol


Yeah that would be perfect...a 5:00 p.m. ceremony then supper at 6, done by 8 LOL

Is wedding cake even that good??

I get it from the bride and groom perspective, it is their big day and they are excited and want everything to be perfect...but to me it is like okay lets get this over it.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

personofinterest said:


> I used to love them when I was young. Now I just go when I have to for the cake lol. My favorite weddings are the ones that are on a Saturday night. Friday night I don't want to schlepp to a wedding after working all day. Saturday afternoon weddings just blow your whole day.
> 
> I love dressing up, but not to go sit somewhere and hear stuff recited. And in my denomination, we do cake and finger foods. There's no fun dancing or champagne or anything.
> 
> Now, if it's a Presby or Lutheran wedding, that is different. Those things are like parties lol


You should go to a wedding in Ireland sometime. 
They usually start in a bar around noon,then head to the church and on to the hotel for the “reception”. 🥃🥃🥃
Then they finish up around three am except for the lucky people who are staying in the hotel.They can use the late night residents bar. I’ve been at weddings over there that went on all night and then we went for breakfast. 
It is frowned upon to fall asleep,you can get as drunk as you like but don’t fall asleep.
And the party the following night is even better. Lol.


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## Cat Lady (May 7, 2019)

I like informal weddings with an open bar :grin2: I DETEST having to dress up, and I really don’t like people much, but if it’s relatives it’s usually pretty good.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Depends on how hot the brides maids are :grin2:

(Checking for my son)

Seriously though, I'm not a big fan of formality. But at this point in my life I actually like having an excuse to put on my best duds and play the sharp dressed man. I'm also not much of a dancer, but I love the social get together, especially if I'm meeting new people. 

If only I could tell that poor, starry-eyed sap what he's in for....


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

I didn't even like my own wedding all that much to be honest. Too much stress, too much money, too much of everything. I often get accused of not being a "real women" and here is one more piece of proof I guess. LOL


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

highwood said:


> Is wedding cake even that good??


Mine was...I enjoyed the cake more than the wedding. And a year later, out of the freezer...it was just as good. Yum!!!!


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

I hate weddings. All I see is a bunch of money just thrown away at the beginning of starting a family. Tradition and all that, I get it. When I'm at a wedding I'm always thinking how stupid they will feel when their water heater goes out, washing machine is barely holding on and ripping holes in their clothes, and their garage door just crapped out. On top of that they've been paying PMI on their mortgage for the last 5 years. Then they look back on $20k literally wasted on a wedding that did nothing but stress the bride out for months.


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## Music Lover (Feb 9, 2016)

When I was young, I absolutely hated weddings and other big social occasions. They seemed like minefields that were impossible to negotiate without committing some kind of faux pas I'd regret in encounters with tiresome people I'd normally avoid. 

As I've got older, I've developed more confidence when I'm in social situations. I am quite sanguine about things that may go wrong. Also, I married an extrovert and some of her abilities seem to have rubbed off on me.

I was quite shocked when other people told me I am masterful in handling social situations. I still don't quite believe this, but at least I don't feel as inept as I have done the past. 

Consequently, I now love weddings and parties. I could have had so much more fun when I was younger if I'd been just a little more confident.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

Kind of like asking if I like people. Some yes, some no.

My approach to throwing a wedding is, we're getting married, you can come and watch if you like. Afterwards, we're throwing a party to celebrate, you can come whether you went to the wedding or not. Once the wedding is over, so is the script, eat, drink, dance, we won't ask you to stop until it's time to go home.

Other people like different things, I hope they get their money's worth but if you hoped to impress me by spending money I have bad news.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

SpinyNorman said:


> Once the wedding is over, so is the script


Thats the other thing I can't stand about weddings. They are all the same which makes me wonder how special they really are. Then you go to a themed wedding and think, "well this will he different at least. Should he cool." Only to realize while it's happening that its the most embarrassing and silly thing you've ever been a part of and even worse than all the dumb traditions and the normal script. 

$50 at the JoP, then send out an invitation to an escape room or something actually enjoyable instead if you want a get together.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

notmyjamie said:


> I didn't even like my own wedding all that much to be honest. Too much stress, too much money, too much of everything. I often get accused of not being a "real women" and here is one more piece of proof I guess. LOL


I loved my wedding. It was my wife who had a difficult time. She doesn't like being up on stage in front of a crowd, or being exposed in the first dance, etc. 

I loved my wedding even with the many mini-disasters. The cake was crooked and threatened to collapse. My friends were a collection poor, poorly dressed, poorly behaved overgrown boys. My MIL's boyfriend got tanked and made an obnoxious spectacle of himself. Bad weather moved in and nobody could even leave the reception because the rain was blinding, hail was coming, and a tornado was predicted. 

What a start! 

Lots to laugh about now. Actually I was laughing then, but then I never took pomp and circumstance too seriously.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Thats the other thing I can't stand about weddings. They are all the same which makes me wonder how special they really are. Then you go to a themed wedding and think, "well this will he different at least. Should he cool." Only to realize while it's happening that its the most embarrassing and silly thing you've ever been a part of and even worse than all the dumb traditions and the normal script.
> 
> $50 at the JoP, then send out an invitation to an escape room or something actually enjoyable instead if you want a get together.


The ones I've been to were not all the same. 

Having a script just means you've planned what will happen, whether typical stuff or bizarre or radical.

It's fine w/ me if you want to do an escape room, but it sounds tedious to me. OTOH I love a good live band. To each his own.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I loved my wedding. It was my wife who had a difficult time. She doesn't like being up on stage in front of a crowd, or being exposed in the first dance, etc.
> 
> I loved my wedding even with the many mini-disasters. The cake was crooked and threatened to collapse. My friends were a collection poor, poorly dressed, poorly behaved overgrown boys. My MIL's boyfriend got tanked and made an obnoxious spectacle of himself. Bad weather moved in and nobody could even leave the reception because the rain was blinding, hail was coming, and a tornado was predicted.
> 
> ...



Nice. At the JoP pur judge or whatever she is was holding her daughter's Chihuahua the entire time in her arm. So its just me and my wife, some guy we dont know is sitting there watching for who knows what reason, and the lady is smiling going through her script while holding this shaking little bug eyed dog in a sweater that's just staring at us through those massive Chihuahua eyes.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It depends. Open bar? How flush is the pool betting on how long it will last? Much better odds than the lottery.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Nice. At the JoP pur judge or whatever she is was holding her daughter's Chihuahua the entire time in her arm. So its just me and my wife, some guy we dont know is sitting there watching for who knows what reason, and the lady is smiling going through her script while holding this shaking little bug eyed dog in a sweater that's just staring at us through those massive Chihuahua eyes.


Awesome!
Sounds like a scene from some comedy movie taking place in Vegas. :laugh:


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

SpinyNorman said:


> The ones I've been to were not all the same.
> 
> Having a script just means you've planned what will happen, whether typical stuff or bizarre or radical.
> 
> It's fine w/ me if you want to do an escape room, but it sounds tedious to me. OTOH I love a good live band. To each his own.


Live bands are great! We have some dinner spots that do live music on the weekends and we just love it! Who said you had to skip the other party to enjoy an escape room?

Escape rooms are really fun with a large group of family and close friends because everyone is kinda going mad running around looking for clues and there's lots of shouting and excitement and people trying to problem solve who all think differently. Its really a blast! You see all those people under pressure together. Its so fun! Time flies by so fast in those rooms. When you're down to 15 minutes, people's true nature comes out and thats where the stories and memories are made. The ones you talk about and laugh at one another for years to come.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Live bands are great! We have some dinner spots that do live music on the weekends and we just love it! * Who said you had to skip the other party to enjoy an escape room?*


Guess I misunderstood. 

For the record, if you'd rather go to the JP and then an escape room or whatever, that's what I think you should do. Let the guests know what's on tap but otherwise, do your own thing.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Awesome!
> Sounds like a scene from some comedy movie taking place in Vegas. :laugh:


Fitting for my life really. Although your wedding sounds pretty fitting too to be honest. I picture a big room, some partying and dancing going on while others are gathered around a weather radio...

"Tornado warning in effect for El Paso County until 10:30pm. Stay indoors folks and hunker down for the night. Its not safe out there this evening" 

That's hilarious!


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

SpinyNorman said:


> Guess I misunderstood.
> 
> For the record, if you'd rather go to the JP and then an escape room or whatever, that's what I think you should do. Let the guests know what's on tap but otherwise, do your own thing.


Who said anything about guests? Lmao. About 8 of your closest friends and family. They aren't guests, they are family. 

For us, we noticed it would actually increase our income tax return. So we married 12/21. Made sure we got a few extra days in there just in case. Round trip from apartment, to ATM to get cash for the papers, to the JoP for the "ceremony" and back to the apartment was 30 minutes. Cost $50. Tax return went up a about $1500. Best $50 I ever spent.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I liked all but a couple weddings. Informal is best. Drinking was almost always involved!

Shoot, I've performed the weddings for a couple of close friends, who are still married! 

My sons weddings were the best.

I never, ever assisted in planning any parts at all (my rule), some funding here and there.

I just show up at the appointed time, and have fun. Receptions are a blast.

PS I look good in a suit anyway. 😂😂


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I loved my wedding. It was my wife who had a difficult time. She doesn't like being up on stage in front of a crowd, or being exposed in the first dance, etc.
> 
> I loved my wedding even with the many mini-disasters. The cake was crooked and threatened to collapse. My friends were a collection poor, poorly dressed, poorly behaved overgrown boys. My MIL's boyfriend got tanked and made an obnoxious spectacle of himself. Bad weather moved in and nobody could even leave the reception because the rain was blinding, hail was coming, and a tornado was predicted.
> 
> ...



I think you might have touched on it for me. I hate being the center of attention, hate it with a fiery passion. And really, the entire damn day you're the center of attention. Ugh. 

Also, I got married on Saturday and had to take a very important exam in nursing school on Monday. And no, I didn't know when I picked the wedding date that would happen. If I got below a 78 I would have gotten kicked out of the program. Talk about stressful. 

We had a blizzard move in during our wedding so a lot of people didn't show. I just kept thinking "we could have saved so much on catering if we'd known!!" but to be honest, we spent only a fraction on our wedding compared to all my friends who were getting married at the same time. I hired a company to do all the work and planning so I could concentrate on nursing school. Even the little bit I had to do I hated though. I spent the next day studying my ass off for that exam. Got an 80, the lowest grade I got all during school. I was SO upset. I think that kept me from getting magna cum laude. 

Next time I'm doing what @TheDudeLebowski and his wife did...that sounds a lot more my speed.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Second time around, we invited a few friends, an ordained family member did the ceremony in the gazebo of a pretty park, and then we all went to a great restaurant. It was cheap, easy, and fun.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I've officiated 4 of them and loved them all. They were friends and family however so we were all having a great time.

My first was one of my best friends since high school and it was a blast though keeping the groom out of trouble at his bachelor party was challenging!:wink2:


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

notmyjamie said:


> I think you might have touched on it for me. I hate being the center of attention, hate it with a fiery passion. And really, the entire damn day you're the center of attention. Ugh.
> 
> Also, I got married on Saturday and had to take a very important exam in nursing school on Monday. And no, I didn't know when I picked the wedding date that would happen. If I got below a 78 I would have gotten kicked out of the program. Talk about stressful.
> 
> ...


Does sound stressful!

When H and I got married we went to the mountains just us, had a JP do the ceremony and then had a family bbq a few weeks later. Nice and easy for everyone!


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

personofinterest said:


> Second time around, we invited a few friends, an ordained family member did the ceremony in the gazebo of a pretty park, and then we all went to a great restaurant. It was cheap, easy, and fun.


MOre people should do that...I think people spend way too much on one day, if you can afford it fine, if not, to go into debt for one friggin day so not worth it for me.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

highwood said:


> Does sound stressful!
> 
> When H and I got married we went to the mountains just us, had a JP do the ceremony and then had a family bbq a few weeks later. Nice and easy for everyone!


That sounds nice too. I'd probably go for a private JP ceremony and then a party a week or so later. No gifts, just fun!!!!


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

notmyjamie said:


> That sounds nice too. I'd probably go for a private JP ceremony and then a party a week or so later. No gifts, just fun!!!!


Plus easier for the family, nobody had to dress up for the bbq, just wear whatever...so cheaper for everyone, it was done as just a potluck too.


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## blazer prophet (Jun 1, 2019)

highwood said:


> We have a family wedding coming up in a few weeks and honestly can't wait until it is over with. Number one it is in-law wedding and number 2 I would rather be sitting around a campfire talking, roasting weiners and wearing casual clothes instead of going to a wedding.
> 
> I hate dressing up and as for dancing...not a big dancer so could care less about that. H was saying maybe we should practice 2 step, etc. and I said meh, we can wing it if need be...lol Plus nobody is looking at us anyway...they are all looking at the bride and groom.
> 
> ...


Let me put it this way, whenever asked to attend a wedding I say, "I'll catch the next one." 

'nuff said


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

I guess I expect to be "the audience" during the ceremony, and that's fine. But at the reception, I'm done being the audience and I'm sure as hell not going to be an extra in your play. Shove cake and throw flowers if you like, but I'll be doing something else. If that's a problem, I'll leave.


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I hate weddings. All I see is a bunch of money just thrown away at the beginning of starting a family. Tradition and all that, I get it. When I'm at a wedding I'm always thinking how stupid they will feel when their water heater goes out, washing machine is barely holding on and ripping holes in their clothes, and their garage door just crapped out. On top of that they've been paying PMI on their mortgage for the last 5 years. *Then they look back on $20k literally wasted on a wedding *that did nothing but stress the bride out for months.



$20k??? That's a cheap one, these days.


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## notmyjamie (Feb 5, 2019)

Wolfman1968 said:


> $20k??? That's a cheap one, these days.


My entire wedding was $5k...that was everything from the dress to the caterers. My coworker got married the very next year and spent $50k...yes, 50. Ouch. A month later she said she wished they had spent half that and put the other half towards a house.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

For quite a while I find that I think about an upcoming wedding, the romance, the promise of youth, the magic of starting something momentous, and the only recurring, overwhelming thought in my head is, "I can't wait for the wedding cake. Just get me the cake."

Not cynical, just knowing what floats my boat, I guess.


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