# Marriage Getting Me Down



## braveheart2009 (Mar 25, 2009)

Is this normal after 2 years? Should marriage be getting better everyday? I feel I have went downhill by the day since I got married we consistantly have problems almost daily.


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## Mrs. Segedy (Apr 17, 2010)

I've heard the first five years, even the first seven are the hardest. You're still getting used to each other. Just hang in there and give it time. Fights happen, and they will happen. I'm sure if you both agreed on everything all the time, you'd become quite bored with one another. My husband and I fight frequently as well, but we always keep our 'small wins' in mind. Such as, maybe we'll both do the dishes and then enjoy some time playing video games together. Or he'll work extra hard on a paper for his school work and we'll take a walk together. Doesn't mean we still don't have conflicting views. But that's normal. Just don't let it get you down and keep an eye out for the small wins!


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## del88 (Mar 24, 2010)

I have been married for 8 years and we still have our ups and downs. Although over time, things tend to get better since you become to know your spouse better and learn how to effectively communicate, but developing and maintaing a strong and healthy marriage is a life long process that takes work.


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## created4success (Apr 9, 2010)

Mrs. Segedy said:


> I've heard the first five years, even the first seven are the hardest. You're still getting used to each other. Just hang in there and give it time. Fights happen, and they will happen. I'm sure if you both agreed on everything all the time, you'd become quite bored with one another. My husband and I fight frequently as well, but we always keep our 'small wins' in mind. Such as, maybe we'll both do the dishes and then enjoy some time playing video games together. Or he'll work extra hard on a paper for his school work and we'll take a walk together. Doesn't mean we still don't have conflicting views. But that's normal. Just don't let it get you down and keep an eye out for the small wins!


Words of wisdom, Mrs. Segedy, I agree.

Contrary to many who would tell you that marriage is bliss, and if yours isn't, find another marriage--marriage is hard work. The first two years can be what is defined as the "honeymoon" stage. After that, the hard work starts.

You realize your spouse has faults and you're going to have to invest and commit to your relationship, if it is to work.

What you're going through is normal, so you don't have to give in to depression. Figure out what you want from your marriage, keep the communication channels open, and make it happen!

My wife of 15 years is my best friend, but it hasn't always been that way...


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## braveheart2009 (Mar 25, 2009)

So how do you draw the line between what is normal and extreme that prompts divorce?


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## created4success (Apr 9, 2010)

braveheart2009 said:


> So how do you draw the line between what is normal and extreme that prompts divorce?


I think that's different for each couple; some will extend grace and forgiveness far more than others, others who have been hurt or betrayed may be on their last leg, so it's hard to say what is "normal" and what is "extreme."


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