# Depression and Sex



## newbie33 (Oct 18, 2012)

Can anyone shed light on how depression affects their sex life? I'm trying to understand from the perspective of someone that has/is suffering from depression. Do you feel uncomfortable with your partner? 

We're are having issues, and my wife says she feels uncomfortable, mentally, during intimacy. She has trouble even kissing me during this time. 

Is this common? We have never had any issues before her depression.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

If for some reason that she feels that she is, in any way, inadequate to meet your visual, emotional, sexual, or financial needs~ then that can put a temporary roadblock up in her mind to even think about sex itself, much less performing.


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

arbitrator said:


> If for some reason that she feels that she is, in any way, inadequate to meet your visual, emotional, sexual, or financial needs~ then that can put a temporary roadblock up in her mind to even think about sex itself, much less performing.


:iagree:

Understanding the issue of depression can and will open many partners eyes to their loved ones view of their world. 

First off let me clarify. Depressive and NOT automatically self harmers, in fact may will say they wished they didnt exist, this is different to I want to kill myself. The film A Wonderful Life " deals with a mans depression brought on by financial issues really well and has become my first referal point when asked about my issue.

As for sex. To want to have sex you have to feel good about yourslef and the world immeadiatley around you. Some depressive I repeat SOME will want to have sexual contact more than noremal, Why? The endorphines given off are the feel good factor chemical and they want to feel good.. Some people find it hard to want to be wanted and when you are trying to engage them in sexual stimilation their adrenalin/endorphine levels which carry some of "lets get at it feeling" are not firering at the same level as you, it may be also that something is on your W's mind that is blocking the sexy feeling. Depression is a chemical reaction in the brain and if interupted can and does block out many positive feelings - Part of getting your wifes labido back will require knowing what is triggering the "down feeling". Is there a health issue, is there a financial issue, is there stress issue which is triggering and holding her down. May be some light listening to her feelings will enlighten you more that anyone here can. 
Good luck with it - dont give up on her


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

My husband describes how he feels in a depression as being in severe pain - so, if you think about it that way, it starts to make more sense. If my back is in pain, I can't even think about anything else, it's just all consuming. 

Is she seeking treatment?


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## Zebra M-301 (Oct 25, 2012)

I'm a guy and I've got to admit I'm pretty depressed at the moment. But, the last thing I would do is push my wife away if she wanted to hug me or kiss me. Sex is different, I want to, but I just dont want to...if that makes sense.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

newbie33 said:


> Can anyone shed light on how depression affects their sex life? I'm trying to understand from the perspective of someone that has/is suffering from depression. Do you feel uncomfortable with your partner?
> 
> We're are having issues, and my wife says she feels uncomfortable, mentally, during intimacy. She has trouble even kissing me during this time.
> 
> Is this common? We have never had any issues before her depression.


It affects it negatively. The depressed rarely feel enthusiastic or motivated about anything other than procrastination. My boyfriend told me he wasn't attracted to me any more. But then again he would say he didn't feel attractive either, and was depressed every morning and had major sleep/insomnia and motivation issues. He had gone off his Zoloft and started relying on weed. Bad move, apparently. He is an ex. I get the feeling he wanted to use me to alleviate his depression. It got old. He could not be affectionate towards me. He would just fall asleep on the sofa after smoking. His place became more and more of a pit. It was disgusting. But he didn't notice or he had unrealistic expectations for how the future would be, with no improvement on the day to day except in small spurts. I really felt sorry for him, but I'm human, not a therapist.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Severe chronic depression often results in promiscuity, unprotected random sex with complete strangers, self destructive sexual violence and other high risk sexual behaviors.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Severe chronic depression often results in promiscuity, unprotected random sex with complete strangers, self destructive sexual violence and other high risk sexual behaviors.


IF it's available. In small town NH for a guy unless he has MONEY that ain't gonna happen. His best bet then is beer, pot and speculation on the internet.


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## newbie33 (Oct 18, 2012)

No, she is trying to go the homeopathic route, which I do have to admit has started working. 

I'm a very patient person, and I just wanted to be sure it was common for depression to have that type of impact. This is all very new to me, so hearing actual experience has been tremendously helpful. 

I do understnd some of the comments, but I'd like to believe that that not all situations like this are a result of an affair. You never know, but not everyone goes that route.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rubbish wife (Nov 23, 2012)

newbie33 said:


> Can anyone shed light on how depression affects their sex life? I'm trying to understand from the perspective of someone that has/is suffering from depression. Do you feel uncomfortable with your partner?
> 
> We're are having issues, and my wife says she feels uncomfortable, mentally, during intimacy. She has trouble even kissing me during this time.
> 
> Is this common? We have never had any issues before her depression.


I hope it is I have depression and I am really struggling to have any intamacy at all with my husband I can't stand to even be touched some days purely because of how I feel about myself. I think it happens to alot of people.


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## Amyd (Nov 12, 2012)

Runs like Dog said:


> Severe chronic depression often results in promiscuity, unprotected random sex with complete strangers, self destructive sexual violence and other high risk sexual behaviors.


Not for me. My severe chronic depression results in spending a huge amount of time in oversized sweaters and sweat pants.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

newbie33 said:


> Can anyone shed light on how depression affects their sex life? I'm trying to understand from the perspective of someone that has/is suffering from depression. Do you feel uncomfortable with your partner?
> 
> We're are having issues, and my wife says she feels uncomfortable, mentally, during intimacy. She has trouble even kissing me during this time.
> 
> Is this common? We have never had any issues before her depression.


Depression for me caused a dramatic loss of interest. In everything, and that included sex and intimacy... especially the latter. 

Some describe it as inward directed anger. I can tell you that depression not caused by a physiological issue is definitely something like that.


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## ExitMusic (Nov 28, 2012)

4 Years, Yes, you can become emotionless, and overal depression is quite a lonely experience. Do you know what might have sparked this? Anything happened between you, your family ect.


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