# Hi sam( nickname)



## sencool (Oct 3, 2021)

searching of lot of discussion forums and community still i am not found what i need . 
Hi i am 40 years male living in south india. 
Need an advice . 
8 years before i got married but not successful. Then i understand i am not attract by woman.i try to find my kind of interested partnar. But the relationship is not long may be few days or month . I know some time i am getting used.spend money and time endup with heart💔 Being alone is my fate ? Or any woman still know her husband is gay and live with him happy. ??? What is next in my life i don't know.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Are you saying that you are a gay (homosexual) man and you are looking for a woman to marry you? Could you clarify?


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## sencool (Oct 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> Are you saying that you are a gay (homosexual) man and you are looking for a woman to marry you? Could you clarify?


Yesi am gay ..ele ..


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

sencool said:


> Yesi am gay ..ele ..


So are you looking to marry a woman? If so please don't, it's cruel.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

sencool said:


> searching of lot of discussion forums and community still i am not found what i need .
> Hi i am 40 years male living in south india.
> Need an advice .
> 8 years before i got married but not successful. Then i understand i am not attract by woman.i try to find my kind of interested partnar. But the relationship is not long may be few days or month . I know some time i am getting used.spend money and time endup with heart💔 Being alone is my fate ? Or any woman still know her husband is gay and live with him happy. ??? What is next in my life i don't know.





sencool said:


> Yesi am gay ..ele ..


Do not marry a woman unless she knows from day 1 that you are gay. Anything else would be cruel. 

I suppose you could always find a lesbian and be each other's beard, I actually know a couple that did that. They did end up divorcing decades later and getting into marriages with people they were actually attracted to but it was a mutual thing.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

sencool said:


> Yesi am gay ..ele ..


I saw your other thread after posting here. 

If I recall correctly, in your other thread you stated that people have told you that you should marry a woman so you have someone to take care of you. That's a extremely unkind thing to do. You would be using/abusing any woman you married who was unaware that you are gay. Don't do that. Don't marry a woman unless she knows that you are gay from the very start of your relationship. I do think you have options.

You could set up a roommate housing situation with a gay man you have a relationship with. Surely you know other gay men who might be interested. 

Or some of the other situations others on here have suggested.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

You need to stop thinking you need to marry a woman. You can instead set up household with a man once you meet a good one and you will be much happier! In the U.S. , gay couples can even get married. 

No woman will want to marry you just to be your cook and housekeeper! I mean, instead, just spend that money on a housekeeper once a week and you'll save money in the long run.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Plenty of women, like me, enjoy having gay men as friends, but that does not mean they want to do their housework! Cook together, maybe.


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## sencool (Oct 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> So are you looking to marry a woman? If so please don't, it's cruel.


Yes it is ..i am not here to ask what i want . But what i should do. I am clueless..please help🙏


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

sencool said:


> Yes it is ..i am not here to ask what i want . But what i should do. I am clueless..please help🙏


What you should do is not get married to a lady if you are gay.


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## sencool (Oct 3, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> What you should do is not get married to a lady if you are gay.


I agree


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## sencool (Oct 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> I saw your other thread after posting here.
> 
> If I recall correctly, in your other thread you stated that people have told you that you should marry a woman so you have someone to take care of you. That's an extremely unkind thing to do. You would be using/abusing any woman you married who was unaware that you are gay. Don't do that. Don't marry a woman unless she knows that you are gay from the very start of your relationship. I do think you have options.
> 
> ...


why does gay accept everything . ? my schoolmate in 9th grade he attracted to me, and after 3 years we had sex (oral). , The first 2 years we were so close friends. a girl who loves him ends up in marriage. he was blessed with 2 kids. and I moved to another city. after 9 years we meet at a birthday party the next day he invite me to his home. his wife was so nice to treat me like her own brother. 2nd time we had sex. but this time he is so progressive but I am so guilty. after that 1 year, I never try to contact him but every day he calls me ... I won't pick up but expect his calls. Does anyone know what kind of tension is this!? one day I ask what is going on with you. you have family kids everything! why this. he said after the 2nd birth of his daughter almost 2 years he never had sex with anyone or his wife because she doesn't like it. and his wife was not interested. and he added after so many years he feels it so good so he asks me to stay near his house, also he never minds paying my rent. but he needs both. I just come out from everything ... did i...


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Why not just find a roommate that instead of paying rent, just keeps up the place, cooks meals, and other small duties? I am sure there are lots of people who would agree to that.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

sencool said:


> why does gay accept everything . ? my schoolmate in 9th grade he attracted to me, and after 3 years we had sex (oral). , The first 2 years we were so close friends. a girl who loves him ends up in marriage. he was blessed with 2 kids. and I moved to another city. after 9 years we meet at a birthday party the next day he invite me to his home. his wife was so nice to treat me like her own brother. 2nd time we had sex. but this time he is so progressive but I am so guilty. after that 1 year, I never try to contact him but every day he calls me ... I won't pick up but expect his calls. Does anyone know what kind of tension is this!? one day I ask what is going on with you. you have family kids everything! why this. he said after the 2nd birth of his daughter almost 2 years he never had sex with anyone or his wife because she doesn't like it. and his wife was not interested. and he added after so many years he feels it so good so he asks me to stay near his house, also he never minds paying my rent. but he needs both. I just come out from everything ... did i...


I don't know why your friend's wife no longer wanted sex with him. But I do wonder if his homosexuality had something to do with it. I know a couple of women who were married to gay men. They ended up divorcing because their husbands were not interested in sex with women. They did as little as possible during sex with their wives... had no interest in being good sexual partners. The women also found out that their husbands were having sex with other men. Most women will not tolerate that.

It's rather easy to get a divorce here where I live. I could be wrong, but I think it's harder where you live. His wife might stay married because she has little other choice.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but surely there are other gay men who would love to have a good, long-term relationship.


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## sencool (Oct 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> I don't know why your friend's wife no longer wanted sex with him. But I do wonder if his homosexuality had something to do with it. I know a couple of women who were married to gay men. They ended up divorcing because their husbands were not interested in sex with women. They did as little as possible during sex with their wives... had no interest in being good sexual partners. The women also found out that their husbands were having sex with other men. Most women will not tolerate that.
> 
> It's rather easy to get a divorce here where I live. I could be wrong, but I think it's harder where you live. His wife might stay married because she has little another choice.
> 
> I'm sorry you are going through this, but surely there are other gay men who would love to have a good, long-term relationship.


Hi Ele like your response, Why does a straight man/woman after giving birth to a few kids/or a kid. not show interest in sex but keen to know what her/his partner do. what will be your explination please responce .


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## sencool (Oct 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> I saw your other thread after posting here.
> 
> If I recall correctly, in your other thread you stated that people have told you that you should marry a woman so you have someone to take care of you. That's an extremely unkind thing to do. You would be using/abusing any woman you married who was unaware that you are gay. Don't do that. Don't marry a woman unless she knows that you are gay from the very start of your relationship. I do think you have options.
> 
> ...


this is my first post and I got the first response from Ele. so.


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## sencool (Oct 3, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> I don't know why your friend's wife no longer wanted sex with him. But I do wonder if his homosexuality had something to do with it. I know a couple of women who were married to gay men. They ended up divorcing because their husbands were not interested in sex with women. They did as little as possible during sex with their wives... had no interest in being good sexual partners. The women also found out that their husbands were having sex with other men. Most women will not tolerate that.
> 
> It's rather easy to get a divorce here where I live. I could be wrong, but I think it's harder where you live. His wife might stay married because she has little other choice.
> 
> I'm sorry you are going through this, but surely there are other gay men who would love to have a good, long-term relationship.


Thank you ❣


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

sencool said:


> Hi Ele like your response, Why does a straight man/woman after giving birth to a few kids/or a kid. not show interest in sex but keen to know what her/his partner do. what will be your explination please responce .





sencool said:


> Hi Ele like your response, Why does a straight man/woman after giving birth to a few kids/or a kid. not show interest in sex but keen to know what her/his partner do. what will be your explination please responce .


My response that you quoted was address that many, if not most gay men, don't want much or any sex with their wife, when married to a woman.

That said, your question here is about straight men & women when the man no longer wants sex with his wife after having children. That's a complicated topic.

Some men have what we call the "Madonna-W hore complex ". (I had to put a space after the "w" because our software considers that word profanity and edits it out. 😂 ) Basically some men see women as either virginal saints (mothers) or lose women. Once a woman has a baby, the man won't have sex with her because it would be like having sex with his own mother. Elvis Presley apparently had this problem. After his wife had a baby, he never had sex with her again.

Some women don't want sex after having a child(ren) because they get too focused on the role of being a mother. That becomes their focus.

Both of these scenarios are sad.

There are of course a lot of other reasons that some heterosexual men & women don't want sex with their spouse aft er some time. Sometimes the relationship breaks down to the ponit that they feel that the relationship is in a bad place.

If you are interested in more info on the topic of men not wanting sex with their wife, here's a link to a thread with some info. The Sex Starved Wife | Talk About Marriage


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