# Court date attendance!



## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

I am undecided right now as to what would be the appropriate course of action to take with the rest of the family (kids, parents, sisters) regarding the court and signing day. My feelings right now are to go at this ALONE, just the two of us; for the sake of peace and my emotions. But I wonder if there will be some resentment or disappointment on the side of my family that I did not tell them the date. I plan on just breaking to them whenever I see them after that. Like just say, oh and BTW, I am officially divorced, we signed the papers last <insert date here>.

Would that be a bad idea? I really don't want anyone there to suffer the moment with me. I am thinking this would take them down emotionally. I would welcome your thoughts on this as I do not want to upset them. They have enough of that already.


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## healme (Jun 17, 2011)

Well that sounds brave of you ..but Id suggest friends and family are there to stand by you in such times,you should nt feel like you re bothering them cuz they aint.You have every right to be supported/loved in such times.Dont worry take the one who understands you most along!!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Your plan sounds good to me. There's no need for the drama. I always go alone to the divorce related court hearings. My divorce attorney is sufficient there. Now on some of the other civil court appearances, my mother insist that one of my brothers accompany me. And I do find that helpful.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

OK. This is good, two slightly different opinions.

healme, my concern about that is that if the kids are there, I would feel as if they are witnessing the end of their family as they remebered it. I couldn't do that to them.

If I invite my parents or sister, then my stbxw would be ganged up on. I am afraid they might say something to her to inflame the already stressful situation.

I dunno but I am leaning towards going alone.


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## wunderbar (May 30, 2011)

I'd say go alone to sign the papers, but absolutely have your Mom/sister wait for you in the parking lot or a separate room. I imagine I'd need an immediate shoulder to cry on after that. I think you are smart about leaving your kids out of it, its definitely not something that should be immortalized in any way. Best wishes.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

wunderbar said:


> I'd say go alone to sign the papers, but absolutely have your Mom/sister wait for you in the parking lot or a separate room. I imagine I'd need an immediate shoulder to cry on after that. I think you are smart about leaving your kids out of it, its definitely not something that should be immortalized in any way. Best wishes.


Not a bad idea! I was thinking that the drive home alone would be very painful. I don't even wanna go there so maybe having my dad with me would be better. I am not really sure about my mom/sister as all I would hear from them are complaints about how evil she was and this and that, and I don't want to hear that. If I need a shoulder to lean on, I think my dad is probably more level headed and would be there for me supporting my needs to be able to move forward, not whining about what my stbx has done to our family - that would be like moving backwards.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's totally up to you how to handle that.

For me personally, it felt like a very private thing and I did not want to involve third parties. And I am happy I went alone. Just me and my lawyer.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> It's totally up to you how to handle that.
> 
> For me personally, it felt like a very private thing and I did not want to involve third parties. And I am happy I went alone. Just me and my lawyer.


I too would go alone and make arrangements for lunch after with friends and family.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

JB and GG. AGREED! I can see what wunderbar is after but really, I think I would rather it be a private matter and then go meet with friends and family later.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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