# can someone help?



## hawkeyefan (Oct 1, 2009)

My husband and I have been married for almost a year, it would be a year in November. We have three children, he has two from a previous marriage and I have one from a previous marriage.

Lately, my husband and I rarely talk anymore. About 5 years ago I put my youngest two daughters up for adoption. My husband always tells me that I could talk to him about my feelings and when I do he doesn't listen. He's always telling me how we need to discuss things before *I* make a decision but his way of discussing things is basically saying *NO* and that's it. He rarely does anything with the kids. He never tells me how work went, I always hear about it when he's talking to other people. He never jokes around with me the way he used to unless someone else is here, someone from my family or his and then he just picks on me (not really joking). He didn't do anything for me on Mother's Day and my birthday. 

I feel like he's not happy with me anymore. Or maybe I'm the one who's unhappy. I feel drained all the time and I don't feel appreciated.

What should I do?


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## dobo (Jun 30, 2009)

Was he like this prior to marriage?


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## hawkeyefan (Oct 1, 2009)

He wasn't like this up until a month or so ago. Everytime I try to talk to him he gets angry with me, just when I try to have a conversation with him. 

The thing is, I feel that he doesn't even want to be with me but he is because he needs someone to take care of his kids for him. He has full custody of his two children from a previous marriage. Their mother can't take care of them unsupervised. I do more for them then he does. I'm with them 24/7. I wake up to them in the morning, get them ready for school, etc. I feel like a single mom.

I am to the point where I'm desperately seeking someone to give me the affection, appreciation and communication I want.

I can't talk to my husband...there's so much I haven't mentioned, too much to write about.


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## alytamave (Oct 2, 2009)

hawkeyefan said:


> I am to the point where I'm desperately seeking someone to give me the affection, appreciation and communication I want.
> 
> I can't talk to my husband...there's so much I haven't mentioned, too much to write about.


What if you approach him and tell him that you're hurting? What is his reaction?

I feel the same way, different background but same way. My husband acts the same too. All he does is come home, go on the internet Facebook really and ignores me the whole night. I can't talk with him, he gets snippy. Sure he'll spend some time with the boys, but not like I'd like him too. He doesn't talk to me about anything, but he can talk to everyone on FB? 

If there are any secrets you find out about getting your husband to talk to you, be affectionate, and appreciative please share them!


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