# feeling empty



## muriel12 (Jul 10, 2012)

I am at a family short vacation. I was all excited all along but now at dinner, I certainly missed him so much. He was my best friend to whom I talked about everything, my fears, dreams, problems and excitements. But all of a certain, he left. I feel so empty.... sorry guys, i just needed to vent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

Anytime, honey. I know it is hard. The more you experience without him, the less you will miss him. Keep in mind the things that make you angry, and know that you are doing great!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dawn Marie (Jul 2, 2012)

I know jus how you feel. I am 3 months into my seperation, and still can not have peace. The memory of him pops up throughout the day and even in the times that I should be the happiest. I find plenty of stuff to do, but I am constantly overwhelmed but my thoughts. He has no contact with me, and only occasional (maybe once a week) text with his teenage children. So, I have no closure or reason for his abandonment and lack of love other than the fact that he is bipolar and selfish. Either way it goes, the limbo feels worse than death. I hope that you are able to find peace and joy tonight. My prayers are with you...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Emma1981 (Apr 29, 2010)

I am here with you guys - I am in month 4 and it looks to be ending soon. He has asked me for D twice in the past week and I keep getting him to "think." I asked if I can come see him for a few days and he has yet to respond (we are in separate states). He has told me he has no hope and can't see himself going back. I have had overwhelming feelings the past few days - I just think, what do I do now?? I am in love with this person. All my preparation helped, but didn't fully prepare me for what I thought I would be ready for.


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## Isuck (Jul 1, 2012)

I know that feeling and I'm not even 2 weeks in. Everything is going great in the day then BAM it hits you. I hate these feelings of emptiness. I feel your pain.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

I too know that empty feeling. I guess all we can do is try and ride it out. Hopefully, these moments will become further and further apart.


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## boxhead201 (Jun 8, 2012)

Here Here. I am in emptiness and loneliness land riding the rollercoaster. I leave for China tomorrow to be in the middle of nowhere. So I will be in emptiness and loneliness land emotionally and physically.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

boxhead201 said:


> Here Here. I am in emptiness and loneliness land riding the rollercoaster. I leave for China tomorrow to be in the middle of nowhere. So I will be in emptiness and loneliness land emotionally and physically.


Have a safe trip. stay in touch with us and you won't be so alone.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I'm in month five of separation and when those triggers hit, they still seem to hit hard. But I will say that the good days are much more frequent. My STBXH is also in another state, has seen his children 3 times, and make no effort to support them. What good does the support agreement do me, he's not working. I know I can get a judgement, but that's just another empty piece of paper to me now.


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## Emma1981 (Apr 29, 2010)

I feel like having hope just prolongs the pain - I am sick of having hope, hence why I feel I just need to give him what he wants.


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

The emptiness you all are feeling can only be filled with self worth and self respect.

Holding out hope for things to become better is like dropping an anchor while you are going full speed ahead.

The thought process must be one of moving forward, on your own, as hard as it is.


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

UpnOver said:


> The emptiness you all are feeling can only be filled with self worth and self respect.
> 
> Holding out hope for things to become better is like dropping an anchor while you are going full speed ahead.
> 
> The thought process must be one of moving forward, on your own, as hard as it is.


And now, after reading this, I'm back to crying again. It is so hard to give up hope.


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## muriel12 (Jul 10, 2012)

Thank you, guys. It really helps to know that there are many of you who can understand exactly how i am feeling. I am at some amusement theme park. I cant help but feel how.much more fun will it be to have him.here. I still enjoy but u know what i mean. It's absolutely hard to give up hope. Will it help if I find out if he leaves me for someone else? I tried not to even think about it.I wonder whether i need that info to keep my anger alive and get closure.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

muriel12 said:


> Thank you, guys. It really helps to know that there are many of you who can understand exactly how i am feeling. I am at some amusement theme park. I cant help but feel how.much more fun will it be to have him.here. I still enjoy but u know what i mean. It's absolutely hard to give up hope. Will it help if I find out if he leaves me for someone else? I tried not to even think about it.I wonder whether i need that info to keep my anger alive and get closure.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> 
> For me, finding out about the other woman only made it hurt more.
> ...


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## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Frostflower said:


> And now, after reading this, I'm back to crying again. It is so hard to give up hope.


I'm sorry if I upset you Frost.

It wasn't my intention.

You know what I'm going through right now as well, in my thread.

I can't try and remain hopeful that she will 'come around', all it does is stall my progress.

But what I can do, is be willing to listen, while maintaining my boundaries and continuing on my own path.

I really have no other choice.

None of us do.


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## Dawn Marie (Jul 2, 2012)

I struggle with the boundries. I have done really well not contacting him and not trying to give and give. I found out today that my job will not last much longer, so I am faced with having to tell him that I am cutting off his insurance. I have been so nice to him through all of this, but I think I have reached a point where I am beginning not to care about his feelings any more. He certainly does not care about mine. I am finally getting tired of falling to pieces every few minutes. You know, someone once said, We will have to give an account to God for every tear we caused someone else cry. If that is true, boy does he have some repenting to do!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

UpnOver said:


> I'm sorry if I upset you Frost.
> 
> It wasn't my intention.
> 
> ...


Not your fault, Up. I have to face the real possibility that it's over. I know in my head that holding out hope is only going to hurt me. But my heart doesn't always listen to my head.

I admire you for how far you have come.

Thanks for caring.

Don't worry. I'm not crying anymore. Read my 'Talk about therapeutic' thread and you'll see. You might want to cross your legs though!


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## Frostflower (Jul 22, 2012)

Dawn Marie said:


> I struggle with the boundries. I have done really well not contacting him and not trying to give and give. I found out today that my job will not last much longer, so I am faced with having to tell him that I am cutting off his insurance. I have been so nice to him through all of this, but I think I have reached a point where I am beginning not to care about his feelings any more. He certainly does not care about mine. I am finally getting tired of falling to pieces every few minutes. You know, someone once said, We will have to give an account to God for every tear we caused someone else cry. If that is true, boy does he have some repenting to do!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There will be a whole lot of accounting to God from the spouses of people on this forum alone.

Sounds like you are reaching a turning point in your feelings. The only way now is up.


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## lonleyinlasvegas (Jul 3, 2012)

Emma1981 said:


> I am here with you guys - I am in month 4 and it looks to be ending soon. He has asked me for D twice in the past week and I keep getting him to "think." I asked if I can come see him for a few days and he has yet to respond (we are in separate states). He has told me he has no hope and can't see himself going back. I have had overwhelming feelings the past few days - I just think, what do I do now?? I am in love with this person. All my preparation helped, but didn't fully prepare me for what I thought I would be ready for.


Emma, I think your feelings are perfectly normal. No matter how much we loved them, they broke our heart. And no matter what the hell people say, "get over it", "you are better off", blah, blah, blah, how can you possibly shut off years of emotion, love and devotion? Especially when some of us valued our vows a hell of a lot more than others we married..

My separation was finalized last week, she comes next week to pick up her stuff and, well, that's it.. there goes 12 years of marriage down the drain..how tragic. But it was not our choice it seems..

IM me if you want to talk. I feel your pain.


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