# I need some Attention



## confuzed2012 (Jul 2, 2012)

My boyfriend of 3 years gives more attention to his married female neighbor/friend than he does me. It has been suggested that they might have even slept together at some point since living next door to each other for almost 15 years. I don't know if I'm reading more into every little situation because I am suspect of their relationship or if something is actually going on and I don't know what to do. Also she has two children, one of whom looks just like my boyfriend.. When I have confronted him about some things in the past he acted like I was totally wrong. Even when we were out of town on vacation she was calling him daily. He now keeps his phone out of my sight usually.. What do I do??


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, boy. Well, you'll get a lot of good advice here, but you won't like all of it.

My two cents? You have to set boundaries. Those are boundaries of what you will accept in a boyfriend. He can do whatever he wants, but certain behaviors are going to have consequences. You need to think about what is acceptable in a relationship for you and what is not, and make that very clear to him. And be ready to walk if he will not accept.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like a great relationship anyway, and it certainly sounds like he is cheating on you, but that's just my impression based on your brief post.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

He's cheating. Dump him.move on.


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## F27 (Jul 3, 2012)

Yes he is cheating on you! "..one of whom looks just like my boyfriend" What?


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## confuzed2012 (Jul 2, 2012)

yes they have a 7 year old child who looks just like my boyfriend.. I don't know how nobody else notices this. Am I going crazy. He is also friends with the husband next door so it's not like he only talks to the woman. I don't know if my own insecurities have gotten the best of me here or if the three of them are really close friends. They helped him a lot throughout his divorce years ago and he says that he just always remained close to them.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

This friend stuff needs to be settled before one gets married. I am glad that my fiancé has our show down over his "friend" early on. 

For those of us who like to see ourselves as easygoing, live and let live type people, we allow those who have no consideration for other people's boundaries to just walk all over us. I am learning to be a litlle bit more tightly wound when dealing with others.

As for you, Confuzed2012, you have to be ready that he will not be willing to give up this friendship. Once you have accepted that possibility, then let him know that you are looking for a full time partner. If he can't commit to that, then you will be happy to be a "special friend" on par with that of the neighbour.

Remember, do not make ultimatums before you are ready to carry them out. Give some thought as to what you would do if you were to end the relation ship before you have that discussion with him. In the meantime, though, you could make him a little bit nervous, by being less than forthcoming, a bit wistful, not so reliable, let him sweat for a while himself.......


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

"WHat do I do?"...

Run... RUn far.... Run fast.

Don't get stuck in any relationship, long term, or short term, that you are not appreciated. That a neighbor gets more attention than you.


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