# New member, hurting and confused.



## sadoldman (Feb 16, 2020)

Hi all, after 30 years of marriage my wife suddenly wants a divorce, this came out of nowhere. I'm barely hanging on, so depressed, confused, embarrassed, angry and very hurt. I guess it's my fault because my wife has always had a spending addiction and I have always bailed her out and moved on. I have some money in savings and we have a paid for home so my kids and I believe she just wants that chunk of cash from a divorce to feed her addiction. I know I'll probably be better off in the end but not too sure I'll make it there.


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## Lake life (Nov 18, 2019)

Could be possible she only wants your attention?? 
Maybe time to listen??
Or maybe you’ll be like me and help her pack and feel like a giant weight was lifted. 
Either way things can get better. 
Hang in there.


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## cp3o (Jun 2, 2018)

sadoldman said:


> I know I'll probably be better off in the end but not too sure I'll make it there.


So sorry you are in your situation.

My marriage was legal for nearly thirty years. I have no regrets about ending it twenty+ years ago. I am definitely better off (but not yet at "the end").

I was lucky - I woke a few mornings at 0300 and wondered why I should go on - but when I woke again at 0800 the mood had passed.

I recommend that you drink plenty (almost exclusively water or fruit juice), eat well if you can - and if you can't drink protein shakes etc. Get as much sleep as you can and go see your doctor - tell him the situation honestly - likely you will be the severalth he's spoken with, and helped, this year. And see an attorney.

As to why - guessing may work but a little digging might reveal a reason you had not considered - reasons which may indicate specific courses of action for you.


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