# I'm fairly certain that my Father is cheating on my mother with Escorts.



## Coug_Grad (Jan 12, 2012)

Hello All,

A Google search led me to this site.

I recently (December 15th) graduated college and am living at home while I interview for jobs, which I will hopefully start in the next few weeks.

Today, my father called me from his business trip in Ohio and asked me to send him some files on his personal computer. When I logged in to his computer to send him the files (which I sent over), I saw his old email account from 1999. 

Wondering what old info and activity on the account would pop up, I simply googled the first part of the email (ex for anonymity: googled xxxxx_99 from the email [email protected])

Looking through the few pages of google results, mostly forum posts on his NFL team and various posts about politics. Then I saw a profile for escort services and messages with the same email prefix with a location of where we live.

This piqued my curiosity. I looked at the profile and saw that it was made last year, and that the last login was November of 2011.

So I dug deeper (much to my dismay). I used the password he provided and loaded up his old email account, where I saw messages with an escort service. I had to know, so I read the messages and saw my father trying to set up a time to meet with the Escort, which from context, I assume he's seen before...

"... would like to see you again if you're free." ~Early November 2011

My parents have been married for 25 years, and have never had any sort of issue like this previously.

I did snoop. I realize this.

What do I do. Upon searching, other threads suggest confronting him, however I feel like I did invade his privacy.

Do I keep it to myself? Do I confront him? If so, how? 

This is tearing me up. My stomach is in knots. I need to focus on securing a job in the near future. 

My mother is going through a hard time right now, as 2 members of her(our) family are in a hospice and are going to pass on soon. Knowing this now would absolutely crush her.

What if he kicked me out of the house? I really have nowhere to go. I would hate to tarnish my relationship with my Dad - but somehow that seems inevitable. 

Any advice would be great. Sorry for the long-winded post.

Thanks for your time.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

If it were me, I'd confront my dad first. Then based on that conversation, decide where to go from there.

I know you feel guilty about snooping, but his cheating could potentially endanger your mother's life. No secret is worth keeping when that is on the line. That's just my opinion.

I'm sorry you discovered all of this... I went through similar things when my dad cheated on my mom, only I was really too young to understand at the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShootMePlz! (Oct 5, 2008)

Show your Mom!! He can't kick you out if your mom doesn't agree!!! He may end up the one out!!! He is endangering your mothers health!!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Your father did this, NOT you. You don't have to tell him you 'snooped'. Just tell him it popped up on his computer when you were doing what he asked.

I also think you should confront him, and if he won't come clean to your mother, you should tell her. She needs to get tested for STD's at the very least.

I am so sorry you're going through this.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Don't talk to your mom just yet.

Confront your father and have him tell your mom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

A similar thing happened to me. I'm the wife who found the email setting up appointment. It's been horrible to say the least.

One thing that is for sure, if your dad tells your mom instead of her finding out on her own, it will make a world of difference.

I have 24 and 27 yr old daughters, so I can kinda relate to you.

I would talk to your dad and ask him to stop the behaviour and confess to your mom. You should not have to do it. If it comes from him, it is better. I would rather have a confession, than find out by chance or through another person.

He should tell her he is sorry and won't do it again, explain why he did it, how long it has been going on. It will be horrific for your mom, but better than keeping the secrets any longer.

There will need to be counselling on both sides. It will be devastating to your mom, but the sooner she finds out the better. 

If you can, maybe wait until the people in hospice pass on and get your dad to tell her a week after that before she finds out on her own.

One thing I cannot stress enough, is the confession from your dad regardless of the wrath that will ensue.

Good Luck

(my daughters don't know about their dad's infidelity and if they did I don't know if they'd speak to him again)


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## FourtyPlus (Dec 18, 2011)

Please don't lie about how you found out. You snooped, it didn't just pop up. Cheating is lying, confronting a lier with a lie, kinda counter productive.


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