# Also so alone and completely lost



## Skuba (Aug 29, 2010)

The divorce hasnt happened yet but its comming. I hurt my back a few years back and have only been getting worse. I just started getting social security which, lets face it, cant get you anything in this world. The back problem is what cause her to feel like we were falling apart, because it has become so hard for me to get out of the house even just to see a movie or get something to eat. I have still made dinner every night and took care of her every need that I was physically able to do, but I guess that wasnt enough. We never even had a fight since we got married and she never hinted at any problem. Even when I would ask her if there was a problem. She would just say she didnt feel well or had work on her mind. But I cant work, I dont make enough money to do anything with my life except eat and live with my parents. At least I have that. But now what. I cant start going out or take a vacation or even hang out with friends because I cant physically do it. All I had in life was looking forward to give my wife dinner when she came home and hold her and tell her how much I loved her and how great she was and holding her until she fell asleep. Now I can only see myself growing old in a spare bedroom at my parents house. What can I possibly look forward to. The pain might go away someday, somehow. But then what. Who wants a man that has trouble just getting around.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Skuba,

Even with a screwed up back, there's quite a lot you can do. You're able to get on the computer. Perhaps you could take some online classes and then use your computer skills to generate a little income. If nothing else, it would give you something new to discuss with your wife and it would appear that you're trying your hardest. No therapy can help you get back some mobility? I have only the brief information you provided about your disability, but I've met soldiers missing both legs who run marathons. I've met quadrapalegics actually taking college courses, rolling around campus in motorized wheelchairs. You have some limitations but there are things you can do. FDR was president for three terms and was crippled. If your wife is leaving because your back injury, she could have left years ago when it happened. Perhaps she's put off by your response to the injury. There are successful, independent people with incapacitations even greater than your's. It might be awkward or painful but you don't have to be content with a life in your parents' basement. You hurt your back, but your spirit doesn't need to be disabled. Make the most of whatever you have and you may be surprised. Even if it doesn't impress your wife, it will impress others. A confident man stands tall even if he has no legs or even if he sits in a wheelchair.


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## Skuba (Aug 29, 2010)

I have been through the ringer over the last couple years with doctors, pain management clinic, and physical therapy. I cant tell you how many times I have every different shot into my spine that did not help. Months of physical therapy, tons of pill thrown my way that just made me sick with no relief, spinal implants, nerve blocks, even psych. evals. And nothing has helped. I am still trying, waiting to get an approval for another trial implant that is newer and showing promises. I have tried to go back to work but got let go because I couldnt perform. Even got turned down in an interview because my last boss told the new job that my back caused problems. Im not giving up, on myself or my marrage.


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## freeshias4me (Dec 4, 2007)

Skuba, I was almost CRYING as I read this! 
You say you make your wife supper, and cuddle her at night?
It sounds like you try to treat her right. Believe me, that's what a woman wants most...Not tonnes of money, not a man who can go out dancing. All they want is a little tenderness and consideration.
I was almost crying, because do you know how MUCH I would want something like that? Just some effort and tenderness put forth, like you are wanting to do for her.


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