# Empty Pockets Leaving Us Stressed



## TiredMomma (Dec 6, 2010)

I have read most threads on here and most are about spending large amounts of money. My situation is a little different. We have barely any money to spend. It costs more for a babysitter then what I can make working.. so I stay home with the kids. Hubby makes about 20,000$ a year. We are already on Food Stamps but still struggle to keep food on the table and keep up with our bills. We are expecting our 4th child and have both been extremely stressed out. I'm starting to feel helpless. We don't argue over money.. but the pressure of having none is resulting in a miserable marriage. I try to be supportive of my husband and he is usually a happy person but lately he has been so down.. that it's hard for me to be happy seeing him unhappy. Christmas time is rolling around and we can't even afford toys for our kids for Christmas. I feel horrible and our co-pay for my prenatal care is so much that I'm afraid we won't have enough to keep going to my regular visits.. and I'm already having pregnancy complications.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

Oddly enough I read this mornings news on Yahoo! and it described creating 84 meals for $72.38 it was called Feed a Family of 4 on $10 a Day I think, it had some excellent tips.

I personally have recipes that involve things like buying the cheapest pork in the market and adding barbque sauce and brown sugar and making enough pulled pork to make sandwiches for a whole week and they are awesome.


*Please check your private messages*


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Wow that is so hard. In my state, there is a website which is a gateway to services. You enter information about yourself and your family. The website figures out what services you may be eligible for. You then apply for the various services. Could you look in the phone book for some state agencies to see what services are available? In our state, there are child care subsidies, free health insurance for ALL children and for low income adults... If you rattle the right cages, there may be services out there that you don't even know are there.

Does your town have a food shelf? 

Get in touch with churches, call Toys for Tots to find out whether or not your children might get toys. 

Our local supermarket, Hannaford, sells packaged holiday meal kits. They are not super nice, canned green beans... But it could help subsidize your food. 

Some people swear by Angel Food Ministries as well. Welcome - Angel Food Ministries

One thing I hope you DON'T feel is ashamed. Not having money is not something to be ashamed about. Seeking services and good will from others is not shameful. When people give to churches, Toys for Tots and programs like that it is out of caring, a desire to share. (Well for some it is guilt... but that is another story!) People want to share so that you and your children can have a nice holiday and a nice life.

Marital advice I got during pre-cana at our church was that when stressors strike, you can still have fun. Fun is free. Walks in the woods holding hands. Snow angels. Community holiday festivals. Driving around or walking around depending on where you live looking at people's lights. Snow men. Walking on a frozen lake. (OK I don't know where you live, but you get the drift)...


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I think the best thing is what SA advised - share your plight with other people and they are usually willing to help and are sensitive to your pride.

I know of one family that is struggling this year and I bought their x-mas tree for their family so they could have a "normal" x-mas. I will probably sponsor a turkey dinner also and only ask for a plate of leftovers in return.

Anyway, she said it is amazing how many people come out of the woodwork to help you when you let them know you are suffering, esp. around the holidays.

Honestly, it makes me feel good. I don't really have a home (yet) with my divorce and all and my holidays are disrupted this year with the finalities of divorce and whatnot so this helps me enjoy the holidays - helping people out. I don't get to enjoy the "Family Life" that I used to. . .charity fills in those gaps for me.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

SG I love having tons of people for Christmas dinner. If you have no home, come to my house for dinner!


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

I'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you. Are the pregnancy complications stress related?
I agree that reaching out for community help is necessary.
Lean times are hard for any couple. I was engaged right when the recession hit. My husband was unemployed for a whole year.It was hard to plan a wedding on a shoestring budget; we decided on a lovely private ceremony.
There is one issue that jumps out at me...you mentioned that you and your husband cannot afford to feed your children, yet you are pregnant with your fourth. Does it make sense to have many children, that the state has to help feed?
Why have a big family if you can't afford to?? It might be time to invest in birth control, instead of having too many kids for your pocket.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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