# Starting Over still need support.



## polkadot (Aug 26, 2009)

Hi all,

I'm new here, as you can probably tell from my post count! 

Bit of background to my story- I was with my ex for 18 years, since highschool. We lived together 10 years and when we FINALLY set the date to marry last Feb, he left me. He messed me about for five weeks prior to leaving, saying he could not move forward with the wedding plans due to our difference of opinion on having a family. When I told him I would reconsider having children, he left. Abandonment. 

During the legal seperation (which we had to have drawn up by lawyers as although we weren't married, we had joint assests), he told me he had not been happy for years.

Since he left nearly 6 months ago, I have been posting on another forum. The support was wonderful and I have come to realise that my ex was suffering with commitment issues (phobia), but due to my vunerable emotional state I became personally involved with another member. When I asked for this "realtionship" to stop, the other member would not give up without a fight and some manipualtive incidents occured. Whilst I hoped that the member was genuine, because I did really like him and had enjoyed our friendship, I began to become fearful for my saftey and so I felt it neccesary to leave the forum.

I am still very much in need of emotional support, I had built up a really close knit group of friends on the other forum and now I have gone, I feel the void.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

Sounds like you want kids, and according to my highschool + 18 years math you're about 35. So your eggs are starting to get a little stale.

While you're welcome here, I'm not sure you need more internet/forum support. Get outside. Meet people. Find a new guy. Get married. Make some babies. Times a wasting.

And seriously... way too long sitting on the fence waiting for marriage with the last guy - though you knew that already.


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## believer (Apr 22, 2008)

sorry to hear about your experience with your "stalker" on the last site. Hopefully we can all be of support for you during this difficult time. Feel free to pose questions or just vent - we'll be here to offer our experiences & support. 

Atholks comments made me chuckle a bit - he/she isn't afraid to say it like it is . . . great quality most of the time Atholk
But think it is true about getting out & meeting people. These forums are great forms of support & advice but not exactly a place to physically meet new people. 
Maybe you aren't ready to look into getting into a new relationship right now but once you are ready - think getting involved in activities outside the house is critical. I joined a "live' support group in my area for a short time last year but had to stop due to childcare issues with my kids - maybe that is something to look into as well. I found the group on line & it was affiliated with a church.

Best wishes as you move on with your life - hope you find the happiness you deserve!!


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

believer said:


> Atholks comments made me chuckle a bit - he/she isn't afraid to say it like it is . . . great quality most of the time Atholk


Thank you. I just try and have fun with it as best I can. Nice to be noticed.


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