# Rough Sex



## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Lately, my husband is all about rough sex. I don't mind roughness from time to time, but folding me up like a lawn chair and pounding away is not very romantic. We’ve talked about it. He tries to change it up he says. I’ve given my feelings on this matter. He will make adjustments and be less dominant, but then within a little while it’s like he’s bored and his dominant side shines through and we’re back to rough sex again. Any suggestions?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Nm read your other post.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Tell him what your limits are and enforce them before you start avoiding sex with him.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

ccpowerslave said:


> Nm read your other post.


What’s my other post have to do with this?


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

EB123 said:


> What’s my other post have to do with this?


I can't speak for him, but you're married to a man with anger issues and who has hit you in the face. Normal suggestions may not be correct or even safe.


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

It’s all how you feel and how you define violence verses some kind of intimate roughness that’s meant as foreplay. My wife would not be into that though we have role played some D/s stuff (I was the “s” lol). 

A friend shared with me that he once dated a young woman who enjoyed being slapped LIGHTLY in the face or the buttocks during intimacy. They did not end up together but he worried about hurting her, especially her face, and didn’t participate in that. He was a bigger and taller guy and she was more petite. There’s always the chance of injury. It depends on what you are comfortable with really.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Philip P. said:


> It’s all how you feel and how you define violence verses some kind of intimate roughness that’s meant as foreplay. My wife would not be into that though we have role played some D/s stuff (I was the “s” lol).
> 
> A friend shared with me that he once dated a young woman who enjoyed being slapped LIGHTLY in the face or the buttocks during intimacy. They did not end up together but he worried about hurting her, especially her face, and didn’t participate in that. He was a bigger and taller guy and she was more petite. There’s always the chance of injury. It depends on what you are comfortable with really.


if I was him I would be afraid to be in a relationship with her one would need a contract and then you still might not be safe after


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

bobert said:


> I can't speak for him, but you're married to a man with anger issues and who has hit you in the face. Normal suggestions may not be correct or even safe.


This. 

Add to it your previous attraction to a female coworker, perhaps it's time to end this marriage. 

It doesn't sound safe, or healthy.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> Lately, my husband is all about rough sex. I don't mind roughness from time to time, but folding me up like a lawn chair and pounding away is not very romantic. We’ve talked about it. He tries to change it up he says. I’ve given my feelings on this matter. He will make adjustments and be less dominant, but then within a little while it’s like he’s bored and his dominant side shines through and we’re back to rough sex again. Any suggestions?


The suggestions seem obvious. He's not trying to change anything. He's just doing what he wants with no care for your well-being. He probably actually gets off on that you don't enjoy it. That just adds to it for him. It's abusive and you need to treat it as such.


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## Philip P. (Nov 11, 2019)

frenchpaddy said:


> if I was him I would be afraid to be in a relationship with her one would need a contract and then you still might not be safe after


I agree. It’s easy to hurt someone even if careful.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> The suggestions seem obvious. He's not trying to change anything. He's just doing what he wants with no care for your well-being. He probably actually gets off on that you don't enjoy it. That just adds to it for him. It's abusive and you need to treat it as such.


Real BDSM involves rules and the sub can stop it with the safe word. What the OP is describing isn’t BDSM, it’s just sexual abuse.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

bobert said:


> I can't speak for him, but you're married to a man with anger issues and who has hit you in the face. Normal suggestions may not be correct or even safe.


This. I don’t know anything about man on man dynamics.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

ccpowerslave said:


> This. I don’t know anything about man on man dynamics.


Then why comment?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

EB123 said:


> Then why comment?


I didn’t, which is why I deleted my comment and replaced it with that.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

bobert said:


> I can't speak for him, but *you're married to a man with anger issues and who has hit you in the face.* Normal suggestions may not be correct or even safe.


WTF!?



TexasMom1216 said:


> Real BDSM involves rules and the *sub can stop it with the safe word*. What the OP is describing isn’t BDSM, it’s just sexual abuse.


Safe word is law.



EB123 said:


> Lately, my husband is all about rough sex. I don't mind roughness from time to time, but folding me up like a lawn chair and pounding away is not very romantic. We’ve talked about it. He tries to change it up he says. I’ve given my feelings on this matter. He will make adjustments and be less dominant, but then within a little while it’s like he’s bored and his dominant side shines through and we’re back to rough sex again. Any suggestions?


If what @bobert says is true, why the hell do you tolerate this?
Good heavens!


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Did you ever mention whether you’re a man or a woman (based on your other thread — which I skimmed — either would fit although I’m not too many men would allow their husband to hit them without responding)?


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

I’m a


Openminded said:


> Did you ever mention whether you’re a man or a woman (based on your other thread — which I skimmed — either would fit although I’m not too many men would allow their husband to hit them without responding)?


I’m a woman.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

RandomDude said:


> WTF!?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


He hit me once.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

EB123 said:


> I’m a
> 
> I’m a woman.


Do you think he’s still punishing you for having a crush on your co-worker or do you think this is just who he is?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

EB123 said:


> I’m a woman.


Oh… I read your other post and assumed you were a guy on guy thing.

If your husband is a man and you’re a woman and he’s too rough then just stop him and make him do what you want.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Openminded said:


> Do you think he’s still punishing you for having a crush on your co-worker or do you think this is just who he is?


🤷🏼‍♀️


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Openminded said:


> Do you think he’s still punishing you for having a crush on your co-worker or do you think this is just who he is?


idk 🤷🏼‍♀️


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

EB123 said:


> idk 🤷🏼‍♀️


Was he always that way or did it start after you told him about your crush?


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Openminded said:


> Was he always that way or did it start after you told him about your crush?


After


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

EB123 said:


> After


Sounds like he’s still punishing you then.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Openminded said:


> Sounds like he’s still punishing you then.


You think?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

EB123 said:


> You think?


He’s not interested in stopping — not long-term anyway — so that leaves you with a decision to make.


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Openminded said:


> He’s not interested in stopping — not long-term anyway — so that leaves you with a decision to make.


Maybe he is punishing me. That never crossed my mind. I’ve tried to make things right between us. We’ve gotten along well IMO. I’m not sure I know what else to do.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

EB123 said:


> He hit me once.


One time too many.

Have you considered leaving?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> Oh… I read your other post and assumed you were a guy on guy thing.
> 
> If your husband is a man and you’re a woman and he’s too rough then just stop him and make him do what you want.


Still might be.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> WTF!?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Marriage is always about the other person. You cannot treat them as a punch bag and not read their feelings. Making love is not sex. Making love is having sex in a loving way. It appears lust in entering the marriage which is always about me. Some of making love may not appear like making love but if they both like it no problem.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> After


Either way it's abusive.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> So, you are a guy?



She already answered that in a previous post were she said "I'm a woman".


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

EB123 said:


> Maybe he is punishing me. That never crossed my mind. I’ve tried to make things right between us. We’ve gotten along well IMO. I’m not sure I know what else to do.


Well, don't stay with him if he continues to abuse you. It doesn't get better. If they find out you will take it, they will keep it up and things could get way worse.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Sounds like he’s lost feelings for you after your fair and us just grudging fing you


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Make him stop watching porn


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Yeah, but.


Stop stalking my posts. Stop taunting me about my gender and labeling me as not being a woman. What is wrong with you? You come here every day and do the same thing. Does taunting women online make you feel like a bigger person?


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

@EB123 I've noticed it as well...For some reason some of these posters enjoy Tripping your trigger...It's strait up bullying


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

And it's bulls$t !


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## EB123 (Jan 9, 2022)

Jimi007 said:


> @EB123 I've noticed it as well...For some reason some of these posters enjoy Tripping your trigger...It's strait up bullying


It is!


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## Mj0081 (2 mo ago)

EB123 said:


> Lately, my husband is all about rough sex. I don't mind roughness from time to time, but folding me up like a lawn chair and pounding away is not very romantic. We’ve talked about it. He tries to change it up he says. I’ve given my feelings on this matter. He will make adjustments and be less dominant, but then within a little while it’s like he’s bored and his dominant side shines through and we’re back to rough sex again. Any suggestions?


If you’ve communicated and he isn’t changing he needs help. Encourage him to see someone, maybe even a sex therapist. Men get that urge because of something external. When I work out more I feel the same, but within constraint and within what my wife enjoys. Sounds like he’s having trouble finding that balance.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

This may be his way of showing you he is dominant, he is yours, the only man that you shall touch, ever so, again..

You are MY WIFE, DAMMIT!

Folding you like an armchair is done to penetrate you to the maximum of his ability.
He wants you to feel him, all of him.


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