# How do I prove to my boyfriend I haven't cheated?



## nenaa (Sep 18, 2012)

My boyfriend constantly accuses me of cheating..but only twice he has been so upset and actually felt that way.
The reason he says is because of my past- which I told him about 4 months into our relationship because I was & still am so ashamed of it. But he feels that since in my past I've been cheated on and I cheated only with my last boyfriend- which came with reason..That I am cheating on him.
But in reality, I tell him every single thing I do as I do it. 
We live together in a different state from where I'm from (I'm saying I don't know anybody)
I'm what you'd call a "housewife" and I love spoiling my boyfriend. 

Everything has been good for the past week or so up until yesterday when he came home saying that some kid was looking at the house & our room smelled like weed -.-
First of all, I don't go outside unless I'm getting in the car with him. Second, I don't do drugs! I grew up in a broken home and that's one thing I don't tolerate and he knows that!

But my question is, If I've changed, I know I've changed..I do everything I'm supposed to do. How do I get him to see it?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You don't. You hook up with someone you can trust and who trusts you or you live alone.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

You need to sit down and tell him, "Look I'm not cheating on you. I'm not going to cheat on you. I'll leave you before I cheat on you if it came to that. And if this relationship is going to work, you're going to have to trust me. And you need to decide right now to do that and stop this nonsense or we're just not going to be able to have a relationship."


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

nenaa said:


> My boyfriend constantly accuses me of cheating..but only twice he has been so upset and actually felt that way.
> The reason he says is because of my past- which I told him about 4 months into our relationship because I was & still am so ashamed of it. But he feels that since in my past I've been cheated on and I cheated only with my last boyfriend- which came with reason..That I am cheating on him.
> But in reality, I tell him every single thing I do as I do it.
> We live together in a different state from where I'm from (I'm saying I don't know anybody)
> ...


The only time you go outside is in a car with him? Seriously? How old are you?

Your b/f sounds jealous & controlling. This will not change but get worse if you allow it.


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## Nigel (Mar 14, 2012)

nenaa said:


> My boyfriend constantly accuses me of cheating..but only twice he has been so upset and actually felt that way.
> The reason he says is because of my past- which I told him about 4 months into our relationship because I was & still am so ashamed of it. But he feels that since in my past I've been cheated on and I cheated only with my last boyfriend- which came with reason..That I am cheating on him.
> But in reality, I tell him every single thing I do as I do it.
> We live together in a different state from where I'm from (I'm saying I don't know anybody)
> ...



You need to get him. On the jeremy Kyle show and take a lie detector test obviously!


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

I agree with Emerald. It is only going to get worse. Because it's only a matter of time when you meet people, or feel the desire to meet people, and then all hell is going to break loose! If he knows you don't go out anywhere and accuses you of cheating who knows what it is going to be like when you actually leave the house for more than 5 minutes without him. 

Sorry but you can't prove a negative. He obviously has some unresolved issues from his past but he is making it YOUR burden.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

You break up with him, that's how.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Give him all of your passwords. Let him see your cell phone each night. Let him look at your browsing history. Be as transparent as you can with all of your transactions.

You have to be patient with him, since he does not believe that you have changed, and trust is easy to lose and hard to re-establish. However, if he continues to question you after a serious effort on your part, move on. He may indeed be too controling for a good relationship.


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## nenaa (Sep 18, 2012)

lovesherman said:


> Give him all of your passwords. Let him see your cell phone each night. Let him look at your browsing history. Be as transparent as you can with all of your transactions.
> 
> You have to be patient with him, since he does not believe that you have changed, and trust is easy to lose and hard to re-establish. However, if he continues to question you after a serious effort on your part, move on. He may indeed be too controling for a good relationship.


I have given him all of my passwords. But he believes that I might delete whatever it is that I'm doing. I KNOW I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to be doing. I see how he is when I don't do anything, I can't even imagine how he'd be if I actually DID what he says.


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## nenaa (Sep 18, 2012)

Nigel said:


> You need to get him. On the jeremy Kyle show and take a lie detector test obviously!


I've actually wanted to do that.
How does that work??


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

some dudes just don't trust women. Either from previous hurts or many other reasons.


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## iBolt (Aug 28, 2012)

YOU CANNOT MAKE HIM BELIEVE WHAT HE DOES NOT WANT TO BELIEVE!!! Maybe HE is the one cheating now and is projecting this on you. Either way, your past is your past. He is the one with the problem - NOT YOU

A time must come in everyone's life when they stop trying to prove anything to anyone other than themselves and their creator.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

It could very well be projection you know, he's accusing you of it while he's doing it himself. Bad news I know but a possibility you can't ignore.


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## Nigel (Mar 14, 2012)

nenaa said:


> I've actually wanted to do that.
> How does that work??


Oh no!!

I was pulling your leg. Unless you only have two brain cells and no sense of shame you shouldnt contemplate Jezza sorting you out on national tv.:rofl:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

That's why we date, to test the suitabilty of prospective mates.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Two way street...tell him to prove that you ARE cheating on him.


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Two way street...tell him to prove that you ARE cheating on him.


Love this! :smthumbup:


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## studley (Oct 19, 2011)

You can't prove to him you have not cheated. He has to prove that you have or else drop it.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

oohh he should LEAVE!

all my years of research shows that a cheater will cheat again. The belief that you have control over your actions all the time is not true! character flaws exist and can rarely be fixed. Good job you told him you should tell every man you are with that you cheated before its the honest good thing to do. But realize that it demonstrated your lack of say a moral


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Goldmember357 said:


> oohh he should LEAVE!
> 
> all my years of research shows that a cheater will cheat again. The belief that you have control over your actions all the time is not true! character flaws exist and can rarely be fixed. Good job you told him you should tell every man you are with that you cheated before its the honest good thing to do. But realize that it demonstrated your lack of say a moral


The above quote is just joking around right?


I think he needs counseling. 

Proving you did not do something is impossible.

He probably would find circumstantial evidence that would be enough for him to believe you cheated, even if you didn't.

He has to see you do things over time that are consistent. The way he originally built trust in you. I think he needs help to do this. That is why I said counseling. 

Maybe you need out of the relationship?


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## PM1 (Aug 9, 2011)

You cannot prove a negative. You're hosed, move on...


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

nenaa said:


> I have given him all of my passwords. But he believes that I might delete whatever it is that I'm doing. I KNOW I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to be doing. I see how he is when I don't do anything, I can't even imagine how he'd be if I actually DID what he says.


Has he given you all of his passwords as well?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Goldmember357 said:


> oohh he should LEAVE!
> 
> all my years of research shows that a cheater will cheat again. The belief that you have control over your actions all the time is not true! character flaws exist and can rarely be fixed. Good job you told him you should tell every man you are with that you cheated before its the honest good thing to do. But realize that it demonstrated your lack of say a moral


There are numerous posters on this board, both WS and BS, who have proven this assertion to be false.

Don't you have any character flaws from your youth that you have fixed, Goldmember? That is what growing and maturing is all about, and most of us find a way to do it.


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