# Separated but talking



## Natasha Smith-Mierzwinski (Apr 18, 2017)

So me and my husband have been separated just over a month now I initiates the separation. He was extremely controlling and judgmental at time. Never wanted to understand what I live with and always got mad at me about it (I live with Attention deficit disorder) since leaving he has done a ton of research and realized where he has messed up and is genuinely sorry. That being said we have three girls together that we are sharing custody 50/50.we both realize we need to work on our selfs before we can repair our marriage. That being said I did inform him today that I'd we were to get back together that I will not be returning to our family home that he can rent it out. I was bullied in to a prenump at the age of 19 and he didn't want it either but let his mother control him like she has the 13years we have been together. She forced him in to purchasing the home. The whole time we lived there I never felt like I belonged. Am I wrong for saying that if we are to return together I want a fresh start.


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## mjsquatch (Jan 25, 2017)

Natasha, Can you provide more background about why the house is such a problem? Is it his alone because of the prenup? If that's what the real problem is, maybe you should be focusing on changing or eliminating the Prenup so things are more equitable. Even if you live elsewhere, it is still an asset he isn't sharing with you, so it doesn't rally solve the problem.

I hope you are correct in your impression that he is trying to do things better. To make your marriage better long term, I would also encourage you to think of ways you can improve also. Even if the things you think of are small, it will go along way to encourage both of you if the effort is mutual. I tried a reconciliation with an ex, and the efforts were all one sided. That doesn't work. Don't go back unless its clear both of you are trying.


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