# Is it OK to just say "I would like a BJ"



## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

A few days ago, the wife was lying in bed watching TV, and I walked in, lay down beside her, and said....I would sure like a BJ right now.....

She see sawed a bit, but finally complied....It was not her best effort, but I've never had a bad BJ....and she had mentioned earlier that she wanted to work on getting better at it......I was not going to complain......

This is probably the second or third time in our marriage I have done this.....

Afterward she was a little snippy, and said it didn't seem fair, to which I replied "Name it, and you got it"....Right here, right now, I am all yours, and totally willing and able to give you anything you want..

She declined and got over her mad spell. Two days later, we had wonderful sex, so she didn't hold it against me....

Did I do anything wrong????


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

There's a million other things you could had requested for ..... that could had been worse ?

A threesome ?
Anal sex ?
A divorce ? Etc etc ....... I dont think you did anything wrong at all ? It's called communication = ) !


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Can't hurt for asking. You did nothing wrong.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I usually just tell her to get on her knees.



But it seemed to work for you.
No problems I don't think.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My SO doesn't mind me telling her I'd like a BJ. And one of her fantasies is for her to walk into my place, and me just throwing her on the bed (or couch, or whereever) and using her for my pleasure, ignoring her own. "Lick it and stick it" are her exact words.

But every couple is different, I guess...

C


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

PBear said:


> My SO doesn't mind me telling her I'd like a BJ. And one of her fantasies is for her to walk into my place, and me just throwing her on the bed (or couch, or whereever) and using her for my pleasure, ignoring her own. "Lick it and stick it" are her exact words.
> 
> But every couple is different, I guess...
> 
> C


David Allen Coe fan I see....


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## brokenhearted118 (Jan 31, 2013)

I was always taught to ask for what you want. The worst possible outcome is the person says NO. So, with that said, if you want a BJ, go for it and ASK! Just remember that when someone asks of you, be prepared to reciprocate.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Woodchuck said:


> David Allen Coe fan I see....


Don't understand the reference...

C


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

So, you've had the men answer... how about a woman?
I see nothing wrong with just asking for a BJ occasionally. Just as I see nothing wrong with a woman asking her husband to just go down on occasion, with no expectations for it going any further than that at that particular time. 

There's also nothing wrong with her just offering/starting, without waiting for you to ask, nor anything wrong with the reciprocal.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

PBear said:


> Don't understand the reference...
> 
> C


Really? I don't listen to him but I got the reference....Lick it and Stick it play on one of his songs. (I googled it)


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

PBear said:


> Don't understand the reference...
> 
> C


Song by DAC Pickem Lickem Stickem



PICK EM, LICK EM' STICK EM LYRICS - DAVID ALLAN COE


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Maricha75 said:


> Really? I don't listen to him but I got the reference....Lick it and Stick it play on one of his songs. (I googled it)


I did a quick google search, nothing jumped out at me...  She was exposed to a variety of music when she was growing up, so it wouldn't surprise me if she heard it back then and it stuck. 

C


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Really? I don't listen to him but I got the reference....Lick it and Stick it play on one of his songs. (I googled it)


Lots of his stuff is really brutal, and not pc, but lots of things he does are really sensitive and touching....Mona Lisas smile, Greener than the grass she lay on...etc....

As for the flip side of the oral coin...In another post I mentioned just walking into her room, pulling down her pants and giving her oral till she orgasmed without saying a word.....In that case, to my surprise, she did reciprocate, it wasn't expected....But certainly appreciated.......:smthumbup:


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## TeaLeaves4 (Feb 19, 2010)

Woodchuck said:


> A few days ago, the wife was lying in bed watching TV, and I walked in, lay down beside her, and said....I would sure like a BJ right now.....
> 
> She see sawed a bit, but finally complied....It was not her best effort, but I've never had a bad BJ....and she had mentioned earlier that she wanted to work on getting better at it......I was not going to complain......
> 
> ...


Well to be honest, I personally would be turned off. Have you ever asked her how she would be comfortable with you making that request?
My husband has a 'look' he gives me, and makes it clear that he's needing something. Oh, and if it's not a good time for me to 'comply' I let him know gently and he doesn't pout, which makes it easy for me to give in to his desires later. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

I don't think he has ever asked for a bj....but then I am the one usually asking him if he would like one. On the flip side i do ask him for things, he has never refused so I assume he doesn't mind.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

Haaaa ............ after reading this thread I figured I'd test my luck with my Mrs. She came to the kitchen to grab our baby a bottle of milk ....... I looked at her and smiled as I asked " Can i get a BJ tonight after the boys go to bed ? " 

Well ..... she smiled back and said " sure " !! How simple and good my life is ........ Thank you God !!


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## Cobre (Feb 24, 2013)

mineforever said:


> I don't think he has ever asked for a bj....but then I am the one usually asking him if he would like one. On the flip side i do ask him for things, he has never refused so I assume he doesn't mind.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Freaky how peoples life’s can be alike, though my wife wants me to tell her when i want a bj and i don't think my wife would object to my asking, though i would return the favor.


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## Tulanian (Feb 23, 2013)

It's not wrong to ask, as a general matter. The specifics of whether it's going to _work_ or not really depend on her. I can't see how it's wrong for either member of a couple to ask for something. Maybe the other one doesn't want to comply, for whatever reason , but how is asking wrong, in itself?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> A few days ago, the wife was lying in bed watching TV, and I walked in, lay down beside her, and said....I would sure like a BJ right now.....
> 
> She see sawed a bit, but finally complied....It was not her best effort, but I've never had a bad BJ....and she had mentioned earlier that she wanted to work on getting better at it......I was not going to complain......
> 
> ...



Oh golly, a little lacking in diplomacy. If she was really into the show it would matter. So next time wait just a bit to assess her mood. 

A woman can really like doing it but timing is still an issue.

Mine decided it was her job a couple days a month (her monthly cycle), and also in late pregnancy. She got it down to two minutes, with an explosive ending. Since then if I do something that she really values, there's going to be a BJ out of it. 

Thinking rationally about it - I can see that for two minutes' work she can really send me into orbit so there's power in that for her. In a good way. I can see she really likes doing it. She usually laughs at me while I am going through after-spasms. 

I don't ever ask, she just likes doing it enough to where the frequency is just fine. Even less and I'd still be fine too but I'm not about to ask her to stop.

If I did ask, I'd be thinking about what her mood is like before springing it. There are certain "mood enhancers" too. You know hers better than I do.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Can't see a problem with asking given the right context of it being done in a good, happy relationship.

I find it extremely sexy when my partner asks for what he wants.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Omgitsjoe said:


> Haaaa ............ after reading this thread I figured I'd test my luck with my Mrs. She came to the kitchen to grab our baby a bottle of milk ....... I looked at her and smiled as I asked " Can i get a BJ tonight after the boys go to bed ? "
> 
> Well ..... she smiled back and said " sure " !! How simple and good my life is ........ Thank you God !!


You owe me dude....:smthumbup:


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

AM2013 said:


> I Think the tone would be important. If it is said in a demanding way, that would not turn me on. But if it was said like, " man I would love to feel your lips sliding up and down my ____.". I would be jumping on it. I often text the same type of thing to him during the day, " I would love to feel your ____ throbbing deep in my throat" and then he knows I am ready and waiting the minute he walks in the door.


My wonderful wife and I are in a REALLY good place right now...I wasn't demanding, just kind of playful but direct....


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> You owe me dude....:smthumbup:


Wow ..... if you only knew how good it was and how much i do owe you ahem ahem  !


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## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

my first reaction reading your post was that I wouldn't really like it if my husband asked. I don't think I'd be angry, but I sort of feel that I want to do it when I want to do it. unfortunately, although I do it about 1x week for my H, I usually have to psych myself up to do it, and although I know I should be loving it and doing it more for me and the pleasure it brings me to bring pleasure to my H, still I don't think I'd want to do it if I don't want to do it.

But, after reading all these responses, maybe it would turn me on?? who knows?


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

I didn't mind until it became a ritual. The whole asking for it part was a turn off to begin with, then no foreplay, then me having to work my butt off to even get him hard...15mins still working, then finally its over and how am I repayed? He says "I'm to tired now, u should've asked before." GRRRR


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I used to love it when my ex would ask me to suck his d!ck, I thought it was hot! There were times I would ask to do it too, just kind of out of the blue. He was always stressed out from work on Mondays, so I tried to make it kind of a Monday ritual.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Omgitsjoe said:


> Wow ..... if you only knew how good it was and how much i do owe you ahem ahem  !


Demanding or not would depend on the relationship and how you interact sexually.

If I asked my wife.. "Babe could I get a blow job tonight?" She'd laugh her ass off due to the submissive phrasing of the request.

If I walk up to her, kiss her deep, nibble on her neck while I whisper in her ear "Get on your knees" she'll do it immediately and seriously passionately.

Depends on the relationship how you ask for sexual favors.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

staarz21 said:


> I don't mind being asked. I never get anything in return at the time though so I get all worked up giving my H a BJ and I am left hanging lol.
> 
> I try to give him a bj the entire time I am on my monthly if he is in the mood. If he wants extra, he has to ask otherwise I have no idea.


There's no such thing as "extra" blow jobs.

It's like "extra" chocolate, it doesn't exist.


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

I never realized BJ's were such a sacrifice to some.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

tacoma said:


> Demanding or not would depend on the relationship and how you interact sexually.
> 
> If I asked my wife.. "Babe could I get a blow job tonight?" She'd laugh her ass off due to the submissive phrasing of the request.
> 
> ...


Yes! I would much prefer to have some sexy passion before hand. I'd even be ok with him just dropping his shorts and grabbing me. The whole asking for sex is to passive for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

tacoma; If I walk up to her, kiss her deep, nibble on her neck while I whisper in her ear "Get on your knees" she'll do it immediately and seriously 

;-) YEs! That would pretty much do it for me!


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> A few days ago, the wife was lying in bed watching TV, and I walked in, lay down beside her, and said....I would sure like a BJ right now.....
> 
> She see sawed a bit, but finally complied....It was not her best effort, but I've never had a bad BJ....and she had mentioned earlier that she wanted to work on getting better at it......I was not going to complain......
> 
> ...


I don't see anything wrong, other than possibly your "delivery". Instead of "I sure would like a BJ right now", try "Damn, I'm horny. I was laying here thinking, and I just can't get that last BJ you gave me out of my head! Did you know how good you are at that? I want to be inside of you right now...let's make love!" Then take it wherever it goes (BJ, intercourse, going down on her, etc). Just let her know that you think she is good at it, and it rocked your world, and it turns you on. 

The quickest way to ensure you'll never get an enthusiastic BJ (or possibly any BJ at all) is to tell her she's bad at it, or she needs work on it. She knows the signs to look for. When she's doing something right, TELL HER. When she's doing something wrong, SHUT THE HELL UP. 

Done right, when she knows you love her giving them, AND when she feels you're treating her right, she'll more than likely offer them and want to do them more than you'd have imagined.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

Woodchuck said:


> A few days ago, the wife was lying in bed watching TV, and I walked in, lay down beside her, and said....I would sure like a BJ right now.....
> 
> She see sawed a bit, but finally complied....It was not her best effort, but I've never had a bad BJ....and she had mentioned earlier that she wanted to work on getting better at it......I was not going to complain......
> 
> ...


I think it really depends on the woman TBH.

Some women find it an incredible turn off to go up to them out of the blue and ask for any kind of sex as if you were asking where they last saw your wallet. They want to at least be a little seduced.

Some women are the opposite and get super turned on if their H just point blank asks (or even gently demands!) some sort of sex act.

And many women can be either/or depending on their mood. This is where the art of "reading your W" comes into play. Or, phrased differently, don't be a freakin' dumbass. If your W had a long day, is very obviously frustrated and tired, then she may need a little seduction (if she's even able to get in the mood at all). OTOH if your W is in a playful mood, smiling and giggling, then chances are she'd respond more positively.


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## mildlyperplexed (Feb 3, 2013)

tracyishere said:


> I didn't mind until it became a ritual. The whole asking for it part was a turn off to begin with, then no foreplay, then me having to work my butt off to even get him hard...15mins still working, then finally its over and how am I repayed? He says "I'm to tired now, u should've asked before." GRRRR


Thats awful!


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## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

I would love if my husband asked for one more frequently than he does. I love to do that for him.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I was going to ask again last night, but somehow her pants were down while I was giving her a foot rub and I wound up doing her....Didn't get to sleep till way past midnight....but WELL worth it.......


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

Davelli0331 said:


> I think it really depends on the woman TBH.
> 
> Some women find it an incredible turn off to go up to them out of the blue and ask for any kind of sex as if you were asking where they last saw your wallet. They want to at least be a little seduced.
> 
> ...


:iagree:

this definitely.
TOTALLY depends on my wife's mood wether i gently suggest (i dont "ask"...i "suggest" lol) or demand, playfully of course. if she is in a good and playful mood...doing a little "demanding" actually drives her WILD. but yeah if i come home from work and the house is all disheveled, kids scraming, and she is in a state of frenzy...i dont think i would walk up to her and say "suck it". haha. so yeah the "dont be a dumbass" is spot on.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> A few days ago, the wife was lying in bed watching TV, and I walked in, lay down beside her, and said....I would sure like a BJ right now.....
> 
> She see sawed a bit, but finally complied....It was not her best effort, but I've never had a bad BJ....and she had mentioned earlier that she wanted to work on getting better at it......I was not going to complain......
> 
> ...


Since your wife did it but was snippy and mad about it afterwards, she thought you did _something _a little wrong.

Now that she's not mad at you anymore, you might want to ask her about it. Maybe there's a better way to bring it up or better timing or something so that she doesn't feel snippy about it. Unresolved snippiness leads to resentment if you keep doing the same thing.


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## TOMTEFAR (Feb 23, 2013)

No you didn't do anything wrong. 

It would only be wrong if she asked you for the same thing and you declined her. 

If I where you I would talk to your W about it. Ask her why she got upset.

I ask my wife fairly often, at least once a month, if she could give me BJ. Often she does. I always ask her if she would like me to get her of as well. Sometime she does sometimes she doesn't.

I just think it is healthy and a good M if you are able to ask both ways.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Omgitsjoe said:


> Wow ..... if you only knew how good it was and how much i do owe you ahem ahem  !


I'll remember that the next time I get another one....


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> I'll remember that the next time I get another one....


Haaaa ....... FYI it worked again tonight !! She wasnt up for a full blown ( so to speak  ) lovemaking session since she has to get up early tomorrow morning so I simply asked again and in a slpit second she was on her knees and ummmmm you know  ! 

Soo good  !


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## dawnh (Mar 3, 2013)

i see nothing wrong with it at all
id love for my husband to do that actually 
he is not into sex much any more


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## Jax10 (Oct 22, 2012)

dawnh said:


> i see nothing wrong with it at all
> id love for my husband to do that actually


So a general question. When is the right time to ask? Like over breakfast as if it is a plan for later? Or in the heat of the moment? A whisper in her ear while she is doing dishes?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

After you grab her ass!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## debbysteelefen (May 12, 2013)

Absolutly this is OK.

You know that thing that you are supposed to do during a marriage, you know "communication"

My husband does that all the time, and i am happy that we are able to communicate like this.


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