# Vacations with kid(s) - single parent style



## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

I think I might have mentioned a similar question in my thread somewhere a while ago, but wanted to post this thread separately so all could join in. Does anyone else feel weird about going on vacations alone as single parents?

If you don't know my story, I'm a single dad with sole custody of D9. Ex moved several states away and has not seen her in almost a year, so I have sole responsibility. I love that part and wouldn't have it any other way. However I feel weird about doing any sort of extended vacation a long ways away with just her and I. I don't have a girlfriend at the moment. When I'm home and we can do local camping trips close by, that feels different because that's kind of my element and there is plenty to do at most campgrounds and often I enjoy the time alone with just us. But I was looking tonight at maybe taking a flight to a city on the coast and got anxious about doing it alone. I don't really know why. 

I think I would enjoy a trip away if I had someone to enjoy it with me besides D9. And maybe if D9 had someone to play with as well. I really don't know why a trip like this would be different than camping nearby. I do have family and friends that go on weekend trips with us sometimes and we really enjoy that as well. Sometimes if we're just camping alone folks will come join us for the day and enjoy water activities. But they don't always have the means to take a bigger trip to a bigger area and I don't feel right asking them to spend their hard earned money just so that I have people to hang out with on my vacation.

Anyone feel similar? I probably need to bring this up with my IC.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

It's got to be tough being a single parent. All responsibility rests on you. I think maybe that the farther you get from "home base" the less secure you feel in your ability to protect her. Where are the closest hospitals...what if we break down and can't reach help...etc. 

Plan something you can both get stoked about. Take her some place that you'll both remember for a lifetime. And really plan it. Have your "oh crap" credit card and cell phone charger. 

My wife and I are taking our 3 daughters to Disneyland soon (along with a platoon of in-laws). We're going to be there for 3 days, so I'm planning on taking each of the girls by myself for a morning each day and just focus on what THEY want to do. In a lot of ways, the time you have alone with your child is so much more meaningful than when you're with a group of people.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Just do it


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Pull in a relative, or grandparent if that is possible.

I took my two kids to Orlando this past April. Met my mother there. Kids had a great time, and got to spend time with their grandmother.

Go on daycations. Museum, play, concert, amusement park, tour ... you don't need to go some place for a week.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Have you joined a single parenting Meetup group? They often take weekend trips (i.e. camping, Great Wolf Lodge, etc.) together and get huge turnouts. It's also a great way to meet people who might be in a similar financial situation as you and able to actually fly somewhere/on a vacation.


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

The last time I searched meetup groups in my area there were very few but that's a good idea and I'll look again.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

My SO just got back from a 4-day trip to Paris with his 12 year old daughter. Just the two of them. They had a great time, had plenty to do, and neither one felt the need to have others in their party. 

The difference, I think, is probably that my SO is a confident and adventurous traveler. It doesn't matter who is with him, or whether he's alone. He just loves everything about travel. So, having his daughter alone on a trip doesn't phase him. Me? I don't enjoy traveling alone, and don't particularly enjoy traveling with just my son. But it's not so much an issue with my son and our dynamic as it is that I'm not a super-confident traveler in any case. 

I'm not sure it's a "problem" per se, so much as it's just a different personality type. If I were in your shoes, OP, I would wrangle in a relative, friend, or someone from a parenting or meet-up group to share the trip with. Or, just don't worry about "big" trips and stick to more local vacations for a while to build confidence.


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## gouge_away (Apr 7, 2015)

Take her to a Taylor Swift concert. Take lots of pictures.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

There's nothing to feel weird about, even when I was married there were times one of us would take just one of the kids someplace for a few days. 

Honestly in my opinion that's exactly the kind of thing you should be doing on a regular basis. Camping, water park, hiking, horse riding...anything and everything you can. Make some memories Good Guy!


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Not at all. Have two daughters 10 and 6 and take them on vacations every year no issues. The last time I took them to Disney world my youngest was still in diapers and still needing a stroller. I love that alone time with my kids, they grow so fast. Sometimes you get looks from others but just ignor them and be dad she will remember that most of all


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

I love going on vacation with my kids. Sadly they are growing up and the last vacation we took I told them I didn't know how many more times we would have alone time like that again. 

Enjoy this time you have with your daughter it will make memories she will cherish.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

I take day trips with my kid frequently. We also traveled extensively with his mother. He must have got my wanderlust gene, so I would take him on a farther trip confidently.

Do you have groups of single/child-free (which is the same category in my book) friends who travel? I know a couple of clusters of people who are friends from college and take long car trips as well as fly to tropical destinations/Europe in groups. The part that would suck would be checking out earlier than they each night and being mostly sober the whole time, but if you have a group of such people you could tag along with, that would still be a ton easier than traveling solo + kid. At least a hand with luggage.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

The anxiety is understandable as it sounds new to you. But I think if you just do it you'll both have a great time. 

My D9 loves getting room service, hanging by the pool and site seeing. H3ll, we even had a blast in Vegas together!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

As for luggage - D9 has her own with handle and wheels. She pulls her own stuff around gladly. Helps her feel independent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I've done vacations just the two of us, with another single mom/daughter, I've taken some of her friends and I've gone with another couple w/ child. They have all been great in their own way. I'd do more with just her - the sharing was a financial thing, not necessarily a choice. But we still had good memories from those trips. Doing things just the two of us was special but we did tend to do more organized things that trip.


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## neganagatime (Feb 10, 2012)

I'm a single dad who has been divorced for about 3 years and take a lot of trips with my S8 and D9, everything a weekend camping nearby to trips out of the country with my extended family. At first I was nervous like you are but the reality is that if you do a little planning you will have a great time no matter where you go. This suggestion is sort of pricy but if you can afford it, a Disney cruise could be a lot of fun for you: lots to do for kids, lots to do for adults, and tons to do together. 

Regardless of what you choose, I think you should just go ahead and do it.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Yup, just do it. Like in everything else, you need practice. You'll need to live through a few sour vacations in order to experience a few mind-blowing trips. (Although it hasn't been the case for me: lots of trips and none I regret.)


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## CTPlay (Apr 26, 2015)

I've taken my boys out on long road trips and will be doing a flight in December. 

You can do it. Start with an hour trip, grab a backpack, and bring those toilet seat cover things for your daughter.

It is rewarding and fulfilling.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Just finalized plans to take my girls to Disney again in October. Should be fun!


Now starting to think about where to take the GF next year.


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## Otter326 (Jul 24, 2015)

I'm a single father and I took my kids to Punta Cana for a week last November. I was a little nervous taking them to a foreign country for a week and I wondered how I would do with only having a 9 and 5 year old to converse with for a week but I am so glad I took them. It was so much more fun than I could have imagined and I got to spend so much time with them. It was well worth the money. Only problem is now they want to go again this fall and after paying for the divorce that isn't gonna happen this year. I have found though that you don't really have to spend money to go to extravagant vacations with your kids in order for them to appreciate it. As long as you take your kids and do something special with them, create some memories, they will be appreciative. It's the quality time they receive that in the end they appreciate whether or not they know how to explain it.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I'm taking my two DD 14 and 18 on a week trip to a State Park on a large lake, with no TV or internet. To offset the costs, a couple we've been friends with for years are coming for two days. Its sort of bittersweet since this will be the last vacation before the older one starts college. They are good travelers, and frankly since I did all the planning and prep for any vacation we ever took during the marriage, putting this together was a snap. The state park has some distractions, like canoe lessons and a geo-catching. We have other friends near by with a power boat who are taking us out one day. Mostly this is quality time and I'm loving it! We leave in two day!


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

Thanks for all of the replies and encouragement everyone!


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Did you go on trips with your wife ?

Maybe it's not your daughter but something else.. 
Maybe you're reflecting back on some time with your wife and you're just missing her.. 

I'm somewhat in your shoes.. 2 boys, 10 and 15.. My Ex wife hasn't seen my 15 year old in 2 1/2 years or given him any gifts of any sort. But she see's my 10 year old every Monday and Tuesday as he goes over her apartment.. 

I have my issues.. I don't have any family beyond my mom and my brother.. Without them I would be really screwed. My mom is 83 and my brother is 55 but sick.. 

My plan is to take my kids on vacation every year. Something we never did and we should.. 

My kids are grounded in with video games and it becomes hard to pull them away sometimes.. But beyond that they are really good kids and do great in school.. 

Personally for me I honestly hate being alone.. I'm not used to it..


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## Jane139 (Jan 6, 2015)

You could always let her bring a friend alone. Or get to know another single dad with a daughter close in age. As others sughested, Parents Without Partners may be able to help you there. Must be other dads in your area in a similar dilemma. But only travel with others if your daughter agrees. She may prefer to be alone with you.


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

You bring up a good point Jane. My daughter is very attached to me at times, and wants her alone time in her room other times. Sometimes she doesn't even want to go out to eat unless there are others (friends or family) along with us. I assume it's a combination of normal pre-pubescent behavior and dealing with what we used to have 2.5 years ago as a family. We have a trip planned - from before I made this thread - in October to fly out of state with other people and go to a sporting event. She's super excited just for the plane ride, and the hotel. I'm not sure she even cares what people will be with us, haha.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

TGG, maybe you should sit down with your DD and plan a vacation together. Giving her some ownership of the vacation can be a real bonding experience, too. Careful offering to take a friend on the trip. At this age, some kids are great traveling without their own family, and some aren't ready to separate yet, and its hard to know before hand.


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

I think that's a great idea P2, thank you


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