# Do you ever wish you could have a week off from marriage and kids?



## btterflykisses

Just a chance to find a retreat and spend some time in peace and quiet. I seem to go non stop between husband, kids, elderly parents and work. I think just being able to not think about anything would be nice.


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## 225985

I have that right now. A week of just me and the dog. But the thinking is still there.


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## btterflykisses

blueinbr said:


> I have that right now. A week of just me and the dog. But the thinking is still there.


Oh my goodness I just want that to stop. The constant thinking. My little dog was talking in her sleep a few minutes ago. She is such a cutie.


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## 225985

?


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## CharlieParker

blueinbr said:


> My wife is on vacation by herself this week. She misses the dog more than me.


 Does she cook chicken for the dog but not for you? (Sorry, that was a classic thread.)

On topic, no I don't want a week off from marriage, but I suspect that has something to do with not having kids.


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## 225985

CharlieParker said:


> Does she cook chicken for the dog but not for you? (Sorry, that was a classic thread.)


Yes


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## BioFury

CharlieParker said:


> On topic, no I don't want a week off from marriage, but I suspect that has something to do with not having kids.


Yep, kids are the death of a peaceful and relaxing union. Provided they had one to start with.


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## MrsAldi

blueinbr said:


> No but she insists the dog sleeps on the bed, and that he sleeps BETWEEN us.
> 
> He is a 65 lb bulldog!!


65 lbs!! And here's my husband given out about our tiny cat in the bed! I did escort the cat to the nice sofa in living room. He cried like a baby at our bedroom door for a couple of nights. 


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## arbitrator

*Only from my bi-polar first XW, who I took out-of-town weekend respites from on a fairly regular basis with both of my small sons! She loathed traveling and craved isolation all to herself!

So the boys and I willingly acquiesed and had ourselves a large time in the process!

And, truth be told, they enjoyed it every much as I did!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nice777guy

I've had so many "celebrations" and "events" over the last weeks - end of school year / graduation stuff. I'm "peopled" out.

I would love a few days AWAY. Taking a long weekend trip with my kids in a few weeks. Looking forward to it - but I probably won't come back feeling relaxed or refreshed.


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## btterflykisses

arbitrator said:


> *Only from my bi-polar first XW, who I took out-of-town weekend respites from on a fairly regular basis with both of my small sons! She loathed traveling and craved isolation all to herself!
> 
> So the boys and I willingly acquiesed and had ourselves a large time in the process!
> 
> And, truth be told, they enjoyed it every much as I did!*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It sounds like beautiful memories were made on these weekends. We did that often when our kids were younger.


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## ChargingCharlie

My wife is going out of town with some friends in several weeks and I can't wait - will just be the kids and me. Yes, that means that it's not just me, but that's fine. We'll do fun stuff and have a blast. If I was the one going out of town, she'd be a blubbering ball of stress after two hours, and I wouldn't hear the end of it when I got home, which is why I never go anywhere without the kids.


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## SimplyAmorous

Ok....I know I am not normal & should want this from time to time.. but No..

I have never wished to have more free time away from my husband.. I treasure our time together.. if anything.... I have wished to dump the kids and run off with him.. to some romantic location and enjoy that to the hilt.. but getting off by myself..no interest at all. 

I would be anxious to get back & into his arms again.


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## 225985

SimplyAmorous said:


> I have never wished to have more free time away from my husband.. I treasure our time together.. if anything.... I have wished to dump the kids and run off with him.. to some romantic location and enjoy that to the hilt.. but getting off by myself..no interest at all.
> 
> I would be anxious to get back & into his arms again.


What is your secret to happiness?


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## SimplyAmorous

blueinbr said:


> What is your secret to happiness?


 A common question to ask.. not always so easy to explain... After posting here for yrs now...one thing that keeps rearing it's ugly head as to WHY couples just can't get along & want away from each other -for a breather.. it could be as simple as : "Incompatibility".. this alone can destroy harmony ...and cause many ongoing frustrations... 

It doesn't make either one of them a bad person.. but maybe not so good with each other, bringing out the BEST in each other.... they get on each other's nerves too much.. etc.. 

So my simple answer is: I believe we are "compatible" in more ways than is probably statistically normal for the average couple.. we're both honest to a fault..we've always gravitated to similar people, dislike the same sorts of people, we're both frugal, wanted a family, our love languages are in the same order, so many things. .....

When we fight (it happens from time to time)...we bear our souls, don't leave each others side.. one of those couples who "doesn't let the sun go down on our anger"... He has a way of de-escalating me getting me to laugh at myself when I get pi$$ed about something.. I can still feel his love. Kinda like this :









We care more about coming together (and cumming together) over winning an argument..because I know he wants the best for ME, for us, for our family...(that is priceless) and really.. so do I.. 

But honestly... take me or him and put us with someone else.... the dynamics would change dramatically.... There are many things I could never put up with in a man.. I've certainly read enough on this forum to think.. OMG! That woman is a Saint to stay with him!! Some might say this to my husband about me even..I've had my moments ! 

If My husband wasn't happy.. he'd just avoid me and busy himself elsewhere .. that's how his dad handled conflict with his Mother.. I can see him being very similar.. That's not us though... besides being my lover.. he's my best friend..


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## kristin2349

blueinbr said:


> No but she insists the dog sleeps on the bed, and that he sleeps BETWEEN us.
> 
> He is a 65 lb bulldog!!


My dog is 15 lbs and used to sleep between my Ex and I with his head on his own pillow. Now he sleeps on my Ex's side of a King sized bed, he takes up a suprising amount of space for a small dog.


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## john117

Our cat is 22 lb and will push one out of the bed if he or she takes his spot. 










Incidentally the break mentioned above is called "business travel"... I travel a couple weeks every year and it's largely pointless in this day and age.


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## TX-SC

Not really. I sometimes have to travel away from home for a couple of days at a time, and rarely, up to a week. I occasionally take the kids with me (during summer break) so my wife gets some alone time too. It works out well for us.


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## john117

Business travel with kids... never once have I seen it.

Sounds good if the kids are older, but with five year olds?


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## TX-SC

I own the company and these projects are generally isolated. They get to stay in the motel with me and then we take time to see some fun stuff too. Last summer I had a project in southern MS so we spent a night in New Orleans before coming home. My Kids at 14 and 12.


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## btterflykisses

john117 said:


> Our cat is 22 lb and will push one out of the bed if he or she takes his spot.
> 
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> 
> Incidentally the break mentioned above is called "business travel"... I travel a couple weeks every year and it's largely pointless in this day and age.



Haha your cat is bigger than my dog but she does the same or gets in the middle and stretches out with her nose on one of us and tail on the other so we almost fall off.
I own the company and these projects are generally isolated. They get to stay in the motel with me and then we take time to see some fun stuff too. Last summer I had a project in southern MS so we spent a night in New Orleans before coming home. My Kids at 14 and 12.


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## btterflykisses

TX-SC said:


> I own the company and these projects are generally isolated. They get to stay in the motel with me and then we take time to see some fun stuff too. Last summer I had a project in southern MS so we spent a night in New Orleans before coming home. My Kids at 14 and 12.


That is wonderful. We did that one year with our 8 year old and it was memorable for all of us. The others were not interested and aged 16 and 18. My parents watched over them for 4 days.


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## InsaneFatherof2

I think we all do at times. My wife is my best friend and I love my two girls and there are times I just need a breather by myself. I try to give my wife some time alone with out me and the kids a couple times a year and in turn I get to go on a solo backpacking trip once a year. It isn't perfect but it is enough. Nothing wrong with feeling like that sometimes. We all need to recharge and have our own ways of recharging.

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## ChargingCharlie

InsaneFatherof2 said:


> I think we all do at times. My wife is my best friend and I love my two girls and there are times I just need a breather by myself. I try to give my wife some time alone with out me and the kids a couple times a year and in turn I get to go on a solo backpacking trip once a year. It isn't perfect but it is enough. Nothing wrong with feeling like that sometimes. We all need to recharge and have our own ways of recharging.
> 
> Sent from my SGP771 using Tapatalk


I could never get away with this - my wife (SuperMom) can't handle the kids for an hour without getting all stressed out, let alone several days. Me, on the other hand, will have things well under control when she's gone for several days in a few weeks.


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## maritalloneliness

Feeling like that now. Debating whether or not to take kids to work related trip or keep them at home with the hubby.

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## thefam

john117 said:


> Business travel with kids... never once have I seen it.
> 
> Sounds good if the kids are older, but with five year olds?


My husband took me, our 2 year old and at that time, 4 month old with him on a business trip about 6 weeks ago. He was preparing to go back to his temp assignment on the other side of the country by way of this short business trip. It was just a 4 hour drive and it was GREAT. We didnt get to spend that much time together but it was 100 percent better than kissing him goodbye for the next 4 weeks.

To the original question no I don't find myself wanting to get away. It took me 5 years of trying to finally have kids so I treasure every moment even the mlments of insanity that they drive me to sometimes. And I desperately wish for MORE time with my spouse, not less.


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## jld

SimplyAmorous said:


> Ok....I know I am not normal & should want this from time to time.. but No..
> 
> I have never wished to have more free time away from my husband.. I treasure our time together.. if anything.... I have wished to dump the kids and run off with him.. to some romantic location and enjoy that to the hilt.. but getting off by myself..no interest at all.
> 
> I would be anxious to get back & into his arms again.


Totally agree.

When I had all little kids, I used to fantasize about having my own apartment with my own couch and TV and fridge full of whatever I felt like eating. No need to set a healthy example for the kids.

I wanted my husband to visit, a lot. But somebody had to stay with the kids, so he could not actually move in with me.

Gosh, those days were hard. Little kids can suck the life out of a sahm.

I remember Dug joking about how we should run away from the kids.


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## jld

blueinbr said:


> What is your secret to happiness?


Nurture your wife.

Don't make demands on an already exhausted woman.


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## threelittlestars

Seriously! I want to run away...Sometimes i think about it. A year ago suicide was my destination. now thankfully its just the open road. I can't run away from life though. Its always still there....waiting for me to pick up the pieces that my existence has become. 

But ya....Sometimes i just want to disappear.


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## TX-SC

Children are not easy. They are not easy when they are babies, and they are not easy when they are teenagers, or any age in between. You have to figure out ways to get some alone time, or it can be overwhelming. Having your wife or husband take the kids out for the day, hiring a babysitter, or getting relatives to keep them for a while can be a lifesaver! 

We live 16 hours from our closest (distance wise) relatives. So, we had to raise the kids with no family help. Mostly we just took the kids everywhere we went. Occasionally, we would hire a babysitter, but I think we may have done that no more that 2 or 3 times. It was tough, but certainly doable. Now that the kids are teens, we can leave them alone for a few hours with no issues. So, we have date nights again! 

I can't say that I ever dreamed of running off or abandoning my family. It was never a consideration. But, I did get a few hours here or there and an occasional night away due to work. So, I often return the favor and take my kids with me for the day or overnight. It gives my wonderful wife a chance for alone time.


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