# Attention wives do you get mad if you don't orgasm?



## Boxing judge (Aug 29, 2014)

My wife does not orgasm through oral sex, only through intercourse. Her O is very important to her so when we do it she is on top till she cums, and than we change it up. The few times I have chummed before my wife did, she was upset.

Ladies is this normal, or is my wife being unreasonable. There are times were I just feel like pounding her doggy style and cumming in 2 minutes, but than I know she will bring up the fact that she didn't cum.

We have sex 1-3 times a week and have small kids.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

Nobody is pounding me for two minutes with no thought for my pleasure.


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## ladymisato (Aug 5, 2014)

It's complicated. There are all sorts of ways that a woman can make sure she gets hers first but if intercourse is the only thing that works for you then that makes it harder.

I agree with Giro, of course, it's intolerable not to be considered. But depending on his level of excitement, two minutes may be stretching it.

I agree with OP's wife that woman on top is usually the best way for her to get hers through intercourse. But, as he says, there is no guarantee.

I'd say, in answer to the question, I don't get mad if I know he's thinking of me and making an honest effort for me.


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## jasmine9 (Jul 18, 2014)

I used to get mad when my husband would obviously only think of himself. He always makes sure that I O now and when it is obvious I can't, I let him know not to worry about me. For me it isn't always about having an O but making love and being intimate. There have been many times (due to ED) that he hasn't been able to finish but I have.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Yes, very mad. A man who gives no thought to my pleasure is a man I'll never sleep with again.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

My O is just as important as my husband's!

How would you feel if your wife humped you until she was done, then just got up and left, leaving you hanging. Rude!

If the woman just isn't feeling up to it, or doesn't think she is going to get there and she gives you the go ahead, then fine. But it is unacceptable to just do a "2 minute pounding" without any consideration of her feelings. 

If you both agree on a quickie, and you make it up to her later. Such as with oral, or a vibe. Then cool. Otherwise, you are just being selfish.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Boxing judge said:


> My wife does not orgasm through oral sex, only through intercourse. Her O is very important to her so when we do it she is on top till she cums, and than we change it up. The few times I have chummed before my wife did, she was upset.
> 
> Ladies is this normal, or is my wife being unreasonable. There are times were I just feel like pounding her doggy style and cumming in 2 minutes, but than I know she will bring up the fact that she didn't cum.
> 
> We have sex 1-3 times a week and have small kids.


How do you think you would react if you did not get to orgasm with sex and you had to just service your wife for her own pleasure?

Get a toy for the times that you accidently come quickly. Then after you are done, you take the time to give her an orgasm. That's if she will accept the toy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Once in a while I'm ok with no O. But that's when it's my choice.. like having sex when I know it's a quickie.


If you just want to have a 2 minute bang with no consideration for her enjoyment then go have one with Mr. Hand.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> Once in a while I'm ok with no O. But that's when it's my choice.. like having sex when I know it's a quickie.


How does that work out for you? Do you feel empty and unfulfilled afterwards? My wife can do the same thing and says that she's okay, even when I want to use a toy to finish her.

Regarding the topic, I once dated a lady that would get extremely upset and violent if she didn't orgasm. What's worse, she was a nympho and wanted sex all the time, and at the most inopportune times. If she didn't O, she would make me the villain and start slinging insults and acting crazy. It got to the point where I was the one making excuses not to have sex.


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## rubymoon (Jul 21, 2014)

Boxing judge said:


> There are times were I just feel like pounding her doggy style and cumming in 2 minutes, but than I know she will bring up the fact that she didn't cum.


Unlike everyone else on here, it looks like, I have no problem with that. It's kinda hot in its own way.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

always_alone said:


> Yes, very mad. A man who gives no thought to my pleasure is a man I'll never sleep with again.



The OP isn't telling a story of a man that isn't concerned whether his wife O's or not. He is concerned and looks like they make the effort to see to it that she cums.

So in context, are you mad if there is a good effort being made to make sure you have an O, but it just wasn't in the cards that night?


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## alonetogether8 (Aug 25, 2014)

Yes, I would be upset if I didn't have an orgasm, depending on the situation.

If it was just him being selfish and rushing right through it, then that would bother me. There have been a couple times where I was having a hard time having my O for whatever reason and it's frustrating.

I know there are times my husband likes to take me from behind and pound me quick, and I don't mind that because it excites me, but I don't have an orgasm from that, he gives me oral either after or before. I

I always find it odd when women can't have orgasms at all or ever from oral sex. Does she say why? Have you kept trying, because that might really help things out a lot.

Sometimes we have sex doggy style and he reaches around and touches me, and after I have my O, he will have has. 

I think you should just talk to her and ask what else you can do to please her. I can understand you not wanting to have sex the same way every time and wanting to change it up, but don't leave her hanging. It's hurtful and she'll feel really let down if it happens a lot.

I have a friend whose husband basically pounds away at her for 1 or 2 minutes, rolls over and goes to sleep. This is the reason a lot of women don't want to have sex with their husbands..they aren't getting a whole lot out of it.


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## Thebuzzbees (Aug 29, 2014)

I don't always have O's with my husband... Sometimes it's more about pleasuring him, sometimes it's more about pleasuring me.... Sometimes both... What ever takes our mood! Some days we are really horny and have several 2 mins sessions... (We also have small children) 
It shouldn't be regimented.... It should be fun and about consideration 
Good luck


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

coupdegrace said:


> How does that work out for you? Do you feel empty and unfulfilled afterwards? My wife can do the same thing and says that she's okay, even when I want to use a toy to finish her.


No, I don’t feel empty or unfulfilled afterwards. To me sex should be a wide variety… not the same all the time. The key is that it’s my choice. For example I like morning quickies. I like them because I get aroused and feel good. That feeling stays for the rest of the day.

I’ve use the analogy of desert for this. Sometimes I just what a bit of a cookie and I’m ok, that’s all I want at the moment. Sometimes I want two big pieces of chocolate cake… UM. 

Now if was a constant thing where most of the time, or all of the time, sex was just for him, I would feel empty and unfulfilled. Eventually I’d refuse to have sex with a man who was that selfish. 



coupdegrace said:


> Regarding the topic, I once dated a lady that would get extremely upset and violent if she didn't orgasm. What's worse, she was a nympho and wanted sex all the time, and at the most inopportune times. If she didn't O, she would make me the villain and start slinging insults and acting crazy. It got to the point where I was the one making excuses not to have sex.


Well when you date nut case, they act like a nut case. What more can anyone say. Why on earth did you stick around for these antics?


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Lila said:


> Technically, you want to use her body for your pleasure without concern for hers.


Technically, no, its not that way at all. This is what he said.



> Her O is very important to her so when we do it she is on top till she cums, and than we change it up. The few times I have chummed before my wife did, she was upset.


They make an effort to get her to cum. Just so happens that he probably can't hold off in the process sometimes and he ends up cumming quicker. Its real sensitive for guys. I can hold off, but I have to really work at it. And sometimes, like when there has been no sex for a while, its really sensitive and I don't try to cum before her like I'm some sort of bastard.

Sometimes the cum comes when it comes (er or something like that), and it isn't done in an effort to deny a woman an orgasm.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

rubymoon said:


> Unlike everyone else on here, it looks like, I have no problem with that. It's kinda hot in its own way.


Yeah, I'm not getting the outrage here. It sounds like she gets her O most of the time. I don't think there is anything wrong with him wanting to take her to pound town once in a while. If it was all the time that would be a different thing all together.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

This is all pretty interesting. Before I was married sex life was quite varied and plentiful. In fact I had a lot of fun the 2 days of our divorce process. But since marriage 14 or so years ago and excepting those 2 days it has been relatively sparse and monotonous. My wife reaches the top of the hill every time. I don't. Not even regularly. And there really isn't any regard for that frustration. Which I'm not vocal about it and can deal with anyway. I might have said something several years ago but that seemed only to invite anger and resentment and more anger. I feel for OP.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I get angry if she doesn't come

Artrrrghhhh!!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Harken Banks said:


> This is all pretty interesting. Before I was married sex life was quite varied and plentiful. In fact I had a lot of fun the 2 days of our divorce process. But since marriage 14 or so years ago and excepting those 2 days it has been relatively sparse and monotonous. My wife reaches the top of the hill every time. I don't. Not even regularly. And there really isn't any regard for that frustration. Which I'm not vocal about it and can deal with anyway. I might have said something several years ago but that seemed only to invite anger and resentment and more anger. I feel for OP.


We teach people how to treat us. You did not stand up to your wife's intimidation. You have the power to change things.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

Look, I think there are probably a lot of men in unfulfilling, just really dismal, disappointing, and frustrating relationships. Women do not have a lock on this.


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## SunnyWife (Aug 6, 2014)

For me, I don't always cum every time but the intimacy and closeness still makes me feel really good and that works for me. Hubby has figured out what works for me most of the time and I appreciate his efforts -- a few things have taken a number of years of work out but it was worth the effort. We have a great and varied sex life which ranges from quickies to an hour or more. I love when he just takes me and has his way for that 2 min 'pounding' because it makes me feel irresistible  I know that next time we will go for an hour and I will usually get my O. Its all good


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## Boxing judge (Aug 29, 2014)

vellocet said:


> Technically, no, its not that way at all. This is what he said.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



If I am going doggy style or missionary or any position besides her on top I am cumming before her. The only way would be if I was on my second O than I could pump away for hours. I am 39 now and I am fine with only 1 O.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Quickies are grand, but I still want my O. I would feel deprived, frustrated, and deeply alienated without it. 

IMHO, the partner should always make every effort to help make it happen --unless expressly given permission otherwise. 

That said, it doesn't matter at all to me if he comes first, as long as he's willing to take some time afterwards to help me out. And when he struggles to O (which he has done, especially with certain meds), I'll return the favour, and pull out every one of my tricks.

Maybe OP's wife would benefit from exploring some alternate methods of getting there?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Boxing judge said:


> If I am going doggy style or missionary or any position besides her on top I am cumming before her. The only way would be if I was on my second O than I could pump away for hours. I am 39 now and I am fine with only 1 O.


Well if you cum quickly and can still go again for hours, then you can do it the second time for her. You don't need to cum again, just stop once she's satisfied. 

That works, doesn't it?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Vellocet - Look at the entire content of the post. He asks if his wife is being unreasonable. I can only assume that he is referring back to what he posted - she wants to have an O when they have sex; she is unhappy if she does not have an O and she is unwilling to be pounded for 2 min so he can have an O. 

That does not seem unreasonable to me OP. Don't expect her to please you and forgo her own pleasure. You would not do that would you? I imagine that it would be frustrating for you.

Do you masturbate? That could be a solution. You can have a quick simple orgasm and not concern yourself with your wife's pleasure. You can involve your wife when you are in the mood to have mutually enjoyable intimacy. 

Otherwise you don't really need her. Not watching porn would be another solution to your problem. Porn desensitizes some men to their partner. Stop watching and see if you are more in the moment with your wife. 

You chose to marry a woman who seems to think that mutually enjoyable sex is the norm. I am assuming she did not do a bait and switch after marriage? Did she know that you expected her to let you pound her from behind for your orgasm or that you expect her to not to be proactive to enjoying her sexuality in deference to your pleasure?

Edit: if she can't orgasm sometimes, even when positions are optimal, she should not get angry with you. Orgasms are not always 100%. I don't orgasm more than about 60% of the time. It's the way I am. I have no problem having sex, I just have to accept that there is a chance I will not orgasm and it's not a big deal. If I felt that my husband did't care if I did or not, it would be a problem.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Boxing judge said:


> My wife does not orgasm through oral sex, only through intercourse. Her O is very important to her so when we do it she is on top till she cums, and than we change it up. The few times I have chummed before my wife did, she was upset.
> 
> Ladies is this normal, or is my wife being unreasonable. There are times were I just feel like pounding her doggy style and cumming in 2 minutes, but than I know she will bring up the fact that she didn't cum.
> 
> We have sex 1-3 times a week and have small kids.


A question that has not been asked... how often do you want to do this 2 minute thing with her?


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## Boxing judge (Aug 29, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Well if you cum quickly and can still go again for hours, then you can do it the second time for her. You don't need to cum again, just stop once she's satisfied.
> 
> That works, doesn't it?


 To be honest when I was in my early 20's to even early 30's I could have an O, not even pull out get it up again and go for an hou, I remember I would be drenched in sweat. I think at my age my test levels are lower than they were and I have no desire. Part of it could be having little kids and being with the same woman for the last 7 years.


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## Boxing judge (Aug 29, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> A question that has not been asked... how often do you want to do this 2 minute thing with her?


 To be honest I would like to do it half the time we have sex, but I always makes sure she has an O. When she was pregnant I admit I was a two pump chump


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

I do not doubt that there are women who are not getting regular orgasms. and I feel sorry for them.

But the premise is so illogical, I feel the need to point out the obvious.

Amazon must have around 5 warehouses full of nothing but dildos, vibrators, bullets, and all other forms of sex toys specifically designed to make a woman cum quickly. If you have sex with your husband, and have not orgasmed yet, why not just pick up your favorite toy, and have him use it on you. If he rolled over and is snoring, then use it on yourself.

Getting angry makes no sense at all.


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## alonetogether8 (Aug 25, 2014)

Boxing judge said:


> To be honest I would like to do it half the time we have sex, but I always makes sure she has an O. When she was pregnant I admit I was a two pump chump


Why when she was pregnant? I am just wondering how that was different than any other time.

I know when I was pregnant (both times) sex was SO amazing. Everything was more sensitive and I couldn't get enough. I would have been very upset for my H to have done that all the time. 

The only thing I had an issue with during pregnancy was giving him oral. I had never had a problem gagging before, but when I was pregnant I would almost throw up. It was awful. I felt really bad, but he understood.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> Getting angry makes no sense at all.


Says, I presume, a man who has always gotten his, and never, say, been jumped on by a woman who gets off quickly and leaves him hanging?

If I'm to fulfill myself with a warehouse full of dildoes, what need do with have to even bother with an h?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

murphy5 said:


> I do not doubt that there are women who are not getting regular orgasms. and I feel sorry for them.
> 
> But the premise is so illogical, I feel the need to point out the obvious.
> 
> ...


You are assuming that all men would actually do this after they had their own orgasms. A good number of men would not do this. Once thy are done, they done with her too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Boxing judge said:


> To be honest I would like to do it half the time we have sex, but I always makes sure she has an O. When she was pregnant I admit I was a two pump chump


So as the thread is growing, you tell us the rest of the story.

If you had your way, about 50% of the time you would give your wife no sexual please and just use to jack off.. kinda like a blowup doll.

When she was pregnant you did this to her about 100% of the time.

No wonder she gets angry when you do not put the time and effort into giving her an orgasm. You misused her during her entire pregnancy. Those memories and the emotional pain from it will never go away.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I am okay with not having an O, once in a while. But 50% of the time? Fuhgetaboutit. That's crazy.

Finish her first, then you go. That's what we do. Often he finishes and still gives me one for the road lol, even though he already gave me an O or a few before his O.

Women get their own version of blue balls too. Sometimes, quickies are fun but they're a fun switch up between more quality encounters. Also, sometimes I like giving him oral to completion just because so that's where those no O exceptions come into play and they are exceptions, not the rule.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> So as the thread is growing, you tell us the rest of the story.
> 
> If you had your way, about 50% of the time you would give your wife no sexual please and just use to jack off.. kinda like a blowup doll.
> 
> ...



Hmm, sounds like it's such a chore to be with the same woman after 7 years that he thinks he's doing her a favor to let her cum half the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

murphy5 said:


> I do not doubt that there are women who are not getting regular orgasms. and I feel sorry for them.
> 
> But the premise is so illogical, I feel the need to point out the obvious.
> 
> ...


Batman: It's easy, after I get mine, I tell her to use a toy.
Robin: Holy sexless marriage Batman!!
Batman: Ya think :scratchhead:
Robin:


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

The best advice for the OP is to be very careful not to make your wife feel used by you. If you love her and your children and you want to stay married, that is. 

Do everything you can to make sure that the sexual encounters leads to sexual satisfaction and not frustration. In that vein, I don't advise giving her a toy to finish herself unless you get yourself a toy to use too. What ever you want her to tolerate, do it yourself first and see how you feel. Bring her to orgasm and not yourself 50% of the times you have sex, 2-6 times per month. And lay off the porn, really.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

If the attitude is to just toss her a sex toy to finish herself off, I don't see why she should bother with sex at all.

It's a ludicrous suggestion IMO. Not much different than a wife beginning a hj, bj or piv and then stopping mid-coitus and handing him a fleshlight or tissues and some lotion.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> The best advice for the OP is to be very careful not to make your wife feel used by you. If you love her and your children and you want to stay married, that is.
> 
> Do everything you can to make sure that the sexual encounters leads to sexual satisfaction and not frustration. In that vein, I don't advise giving her a toy to finish herself unless you get yourself a toy to use too. What ever you want her to tolerate, do it yourself first and see how you feel. Bring her to orgasm and not yourself 50% of the times you have sex, 2-6 times per month. And lay off the porn, really.


Just to be clear... the suggestion of a toy was not for her to use to finish herself off. It was for him to use so that he could continue to have sex with her in a loving way so that she too had an orgasm.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Miss Taken said:


> If the attitude is to just toss her a sex toy to finish herself off, I don't see why she should bother with sex at all.
> 
> It's a ludicrous suggestion IMO. Not much different than a wife beginning a hj, bj or piv and then stopping mid-coitus and handing him a fleshlight or tissues and some lotion.


I will repeat this and I made it very clear in my post suggesting a toy...

Just to be clear... the suggestion of a toy was not for her to use to finish herself off. It was for him to use so that he could continue to have sex with her in a loving way so that she too had an orgasm


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

When things were getting bad between me and my ex he started to get very selfish and mean during sex. 

He told me one night, after he was done, that he was not responsible for my orgasms. And he rolled over and went to sleep. 

A couple of nights later he wanted sex. I made sure I had an orgasm quickly. Then I rolled over to go to sleep. He protested loudly. My response? "I'm no responsible for you orgasms."

He never pulled that nonsense again.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I will repeat this and I made it very clear in my post suggesting a toy...
> 
> Just to be clear... the suggestion of a toy was not for her to use to finish herself off. It was for him to use so that he could continue to have sex with her in a loving way so that she too had an orgasm


My last post wasn't directed at anything you wrote. It was more about this (specifically the bolded):



murphy5 said:


> If you have sex with your husband, and have not orgasmed yet, why not just pick up your favorite toy, and have him use it on you. * If he rolled over and is snoring, then use it on yourself.*
> 
> Getting angry makes no sense at all.


Just letting the guy roll over and go to sleep so I can satisfy myself after being teased and aroused during sex that seemed more like foreplay wouldn't fly with me. Especially if this is what I was to do 50% of the time we had sex. This ish would get old with the quickness.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

I get frustrated if I didn't orgasm (It is rare though).
I would get mad if I only got mine 50% of the time and if I never got mine during pregnancy I would have been furious.

I don't find it unreasonable orgasms are important to her


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## 1971 (Mar 7, 2013)




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## EMZED (Jul 29, 2014)

I don't understand the problem, OP. It looks like your wife has a pretty reliable way to come worked out that she likes. So why don't you let her do that and then switch the doggy style and pound her for two minutes afterward? Then everyone's happy.

If you want to have sex without her orgasms some of the time, you should be willing to bring her to orgasm without coming yourself an equal amount of time. I bet you're not willing to do that.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good afternoon all
Maybe I'm reading the OP differently, but it sounds like his wife only orgasms when she is riding him. Sometimes he finishes too soon. (not his fault). Sometimes he wants to orgasm some different way. OK as well. 

I read it as he was willing to do other things to help her orgasm (he mentioned oral), but she didn't want it. 

This is a bit of a tricky one. Not all men can control how long they last during intercourse, and many need a significant recovery time before they can do it again. If a woman only wants to orgasm that way, there may not be much that he can do.

In general I think each partner should be willing to do what they can to help the other orgasm, whether or not they have finished themselves first.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

any woman that thinks her man can time it so she and he orgams within the same few seconds as she does is on drugs.

Like is stated before, very clearly, if he is done and you have not orgasmsed TELL HIM TO PLAY WITH YOU until you do cum, or if you are embarrassed to do that DO IT YOURSELF. End of the frigin discussion.

If you are not orgasming, it is solely your fault. Stop whining about it.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

murphy5 said:


> any woman that thinks her man can time it so she and he orgams within the same few seconds as she does is on drugs.
> 
> Like is stated before, very clearly, if he is done and you have not orgasmsed TELL HIM TO PLAY WITH YOU until you do cum, or if you are embarrassed to do that DO IT YOURSELF. End of the frigin discussion.
> 
> If you are not orgasming, it is solely your fault. Stop whining about it.


:scratchhead:


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I'd think most women know men tend to come faster than women, especially with consistent stimulation. I don't see what's so difficult about letting the woman come first whether through oral, fingering or a toy before doing a position that you know you're likely to come in quickly.

Some men, like mine might still be willing to help her orgasm after he does but a lot don't and a lot that do, do it half-assed because they're sleepy or no longer horny having got theirs so not as into it.


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> any woman that thinks her man can time it so she and he orgams within the same few seconds as she does is on drugs..


You think so Murph? After being married for 20+ years I can read her like a book and we most definitely can get the timing down right. The trick is to give her multiple orgasm's prior to PIV.  Communication is key! 



murphy5 said:


> If you are not orgasming, it is solely your fault. Stop whining about it.


I highly disagree with this. So, it's up to HER to get herself all worked up? :rofl:

And, it's up to YOU to get yourself worked up? Might as well go masturbate...lol


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

To answer the question in the title: Hell YES! Unless of course he is willing to forgo his orgasm as well.... No?




Boxing judge said:


> My wife does not orgasm through oral sex, only through intercourse.


Might I suggest that you insert two fingers during oral sex? Rock her world but only if your wrists are flexible enough...thats why women dig guitar players and drummers!



> Her O is very important to her so when we do it she is on top till she cums, and than we change it up. The few times I have chummed before my wife did, she was upset.


*Of course her orgasms are very important to her!*! How often do you have sex with out ejaculating? Tell you what, you forgo your orgasm the next 5 times you have sex, and let's see how you feel?



> Ladies is this normal, or is my wife being unreasonable. There are times were I just feel like pounding her doggy style and cumming in 2 minutes, but than I know she will bring up the fact that she didn't cum.


My advice is to.... Have sex 5 times in a row but don't ejaculate! Just see to her pleasure like a good boy. Then roll over (taking relaxing breaths so your erection will slowly go down on it own, no masturbating!) and cuddle with her as you tell her how wonderful she is and ask for suggestions about what you should make for dinner the next evening.  

After you have completed the above assignment, update this thread and let us all know how reasonable you think she has been.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> any woman that thinks her man can time it so she and he orgams within the same few seconds as she does is on drugs.
> 
> Like is stated before, very clearly, if he is done and you have not orgasmsed TELL HIM TO PLAY WITH YOU until you do cum, or if you are embarrassed to do that DO IT YOURSELF. End of the frigin discussion.
> 
> If you are not orgasming, it is solely your fault. Stop whining about it.


I can tell by what you have written in this thread that sex for you is nothing more than getting yourself off. Don't be surprised when your wife no longer feels the urge to oblige. Then you'll be on here wondering why your wife doesn't want to have sex with you.

There is great eroticism in bringing out responses and reactions in your spouse. The touch of their hands on your, your hands on them, watching their skin darken and swell, knowing you are the cause of that pleasure.... I'm so sorry this all seems to be lost on you. But more sorry for you wife.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Glad to see you back Anon.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

murphy5 said:


> any woman that thinks her man can time it so she and he orgams within the same few seconds as she does is on drugs.
> 
> Like is stated before, very clearly, if he is done and you have not orgasmsed TELL HIM TO PLAY WITH YOU until you do cum, or if you are embarrassed to do that DO IT YOURSELF. End of the frigin discussion.
> 
> If you are not orgasming, it is solely your fault. Stop whining about it.


Surely you did not read of the OP's posts on this thread.

What he's really talking about that is that he wants that about 50% of the time that he only has a 2 minute, doggy style quickies with his wife. So he wants her to get no sexual satisfaction out of sex 50% of the time and he's upset that she will not go along with this.

He said that when she was pregnant that as all he would do for sex, 2 min doggy quickies.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> any woman that thinks her man can time it so she and he orgams within the same few seconds as she does is on drugs.
> 
> Like is stated before, very clearly, if he is done and you have not orgasmsed TELL HIM TO PLAY WITH YOU until you do cum, or if you are embarrassed to do that DO IT YOURSELF. End of the frigin discussion.
> 
> If you are not orgasming, it is solely your fault. Stop whining about it.


Actually my husband and I go together the majority of the time. So yes, he can time it within the same few seconds, and no I'm not on drugs.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> Batman: It's easy, after I get mine, I tell her to use a toy.
> Robin: Holy sexless marriage Batman!!
> Batman: Ya think :scratchhead:
> Robin:


How did Batman get dragged into this?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> she is unhappy if she does not have an O and she is unwilling to be pounded for 2 min so he can have an O.


Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!




Catherine602 said:


> That does not seem unreasonable to me OP. Don't expect her to please you and forgo her own pleasure. You would not do that would you? I imagine that it would be frustrating for you.


Agreed!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Anon Pink said:


> Might I suggest that you insert two fingers during oral sex? Rock her world but only if your wrists are flexible enough...thats why women dig guitar players and drummers!


hahah... I love this thread.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

heartsbeating said:


> How did Batman get dragged into this?


"Holy sexless marriage" came to mind when I read Murphy's post >> Batman intruded on my brain >> the dialog followed. I didn't drag him in, he came of his own accord Catwoman.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

I knew a guy that said he tries to last longer during sex by thinking about other stuff while he's performing like "fishing", thereby distracting himself and then when she appears to be reaching O, he switches back to thinking about sex.

fishing? hmmmm. Well, I guess it worked for him.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Boxing judge said:


> If I am going doggy style or missionary or any position besides her on top I am cumming before her.


Then always start out on top and let her cum first. When she is done, then you can switch positions.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

always_alone said:


> Says, I presume, a man who has always gotten his, and never, say, been jumped on by a woman who gets off quickly and leaves him hanging?


If a guy has no interest in the pleasure of his woman and cums too quickly just to get his, sure, I'd be angry if I were a woman.

But if its because the man couldn't hold off, but tried, I don't understand getting angry either.



> If I'm to fulfill myself with a warehouse full of dildoes, what need do with have to even bother with an h?


Well there is a solution to all your problems.


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

murphy5 said:


> If you are not orgasming, it is solely your fault. Stop whining about it.












Ouch! Are you trying to get killed??


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## ladysweet (Sep 1, 2014)

This depends on if he gets me to a point of totally turned on .... and then does not make me orgasm. There are times when he creeps up on me in the kitchen just before the kids come back from school and during those ones I don't mind so much... but hell if he got me completely aroused and then finished I'd go mental!


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good afternoon ladysweet

sounds like time to bring out the handcuffs and a riding crop...:FIREdevil:



ladysweet said:


> This depends on if he gets me to a point of totally turned on .... and then does not make me orgasm. There are times when he creeps up on me in the kitchen just before the kids come back from school and during those ones I don't mind so much... but hell if he got me completely aroused and then finished I'd go mental!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

richardsharpe said:


> Good afternoon all
> Maybe I'm reading the OP differently, but it sounds like his wife only orgasms when she is riding him. Sometimes he finishes too soon. (not his fault). Sometimes he wants to orgasm some different way. OK as well.
> 
> I read it as he was willing to do other things to help her orgasm (he mentioned oral), but she didn't want it.
> ...


 This is how I read his post too...



murphy5 said:


> *any woman that thinks her man can time it so she and he orgams within the same few seconds as she does is on drugs.*


 I've been very spoiled in this.. Looking back ..we were always in sync...I didn't think about it too much , maybe even assumed it was normal.....we didn't even talk about sex- yet we near always orgasmed together..(I'd say 90% of the time).....though it wasn't always easy for him to hold out....he instinctively knew my body .. I knew his, I knew when to slow it down-so he wouldn't go over the edge.. no words spoken between us even..... so yeah.. it's possible..



T&T said:


> *You think so Murph? After being married for 20+ years I can read her like a book and we most definitely can get the timing down right. The trick is to give her multiple orgasm's prior to PIV.  Communication is key!*


:smthumbup:



Boxing judge said:


> *My wife does not orgasm through oral sex, only through intercourse. Her O is very important to her so when we do it she is on top till she cums, and than we change it up. The few times I have chummed before my wife did, she was upset.
> 
> Ladies is this normal, or is my wife being unreasonable. There are times were I just feel like pounding her doggy style and cumming in 2 minutes, but than I know she will bring up the fact that she didn't cum.*
> 
> We have sex 1-3 times a week and have small kids.


Yes, some of us want our O -every time !!... my husband could care less about Doggie and from having talks about this..he's always said my orgasm is more important than his own.. of course he wants that too though!

Although I have complained on occasion he should be more aggressive & just "take me"- I have since come to the realization if he was LIKE THAT (too much)..... getting his own and not caring about mine... I'd probably be pi$$ed off !! 

In the past, if/when he'd slip before me, I'd lightly pound on him and say "NO NO , I needed that !!".. he never minded this, he was happy I was so into it.. back then he could get it back up 30 minutes later.. today he wouldn't be able to do that.... .. 

Like your wife..I also can't seem to get off on oral (only happened twice)..... never cared for toys either.... I'd say she's normal !!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> This is how I read his post too...
> 
> I've been very spoiled in this.. Looking back ..we were always in sync...I didn't think about it too much , maybe even assumed it was normal.....we didn't even talk about sex- yet we near always orgasmed together..(I'd say 90% of the time).....though it wasn't always easy for him to hold out....he instinctively knew my body .. I knew his, I knew when to slow it down-so he wouldn't go over the edge.. no words spoken between us even..... so yeah.. it's possible..
> 
> ...


Let's be careful here..."just take me" is NOT synonymous with just getting his own, and not caring about hers.

Like your husband SA, I have a difficult time "just taking her". I have learned to read her well enough to know when she is wanting that to happen...she give subtle signs, often hours in advance, and it is a conscious effort on my part to make it happen. It doesn't come naturally. The thing is, even those times, and they do tend to be more of a quickie, yeah, I get mine, but oh, so does she...


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> Let's be careful here..."just take me" is NOT synonymous with just getting his own, and not caring about hers.
> 
> Like your husband SA, I have a difficult time "just taking her". I have learned to read her well enough to know when she is wanting that to happen...she give subtle signs, often hours in advance, and it is a conscious effort on my part to make it happen. It doesn't come naturally. The thing is, even those times, and they do tend to be more of a quickie, yeah, I get mine, but oh, so does she...


*Our Hero!*​
:allhail:


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## Rooster2014 (Aug 23, 2014)

I really cannot believe we are still talking about this. Listen, If a guy loves his wife he will do what ever it takes to make her happy in bed. Cause if he gives 150% I'll bet he gets the same in return. If not he is gonna give another guy the chance to make his wife smile. Its just that simple. Just a matter of time. 

What more is there to say? He needs to man up!!!


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Rooster2014 said:


> I really cannot believe we are still talking about this. Listen, If a guy loves his wife he will do what ever it takes to make her happy in bed. Cause if he gives 150% I'll bet he gets the same in return. If not he is gonna give another guy the chance to make his wife smile. Its just that simple. Just a matter of time.
> 
> What more is there to say? He needs to man up!!!


Well you had me up until the part about another man making the wife smile. Because if that's the way she is, she isn't worth 2 squirts in the first place.

You are assuming, I'm taking it, about a guy that doesn't give 150% because he only cares about his own orgasm. And that kind of guy has no business being with a good woman.

But there are guys that give as much as they can, try their damnedest, and she isn't going to cum. I've have been with a mixed bag of women. Most can come and I don't have to hold off for an hour. Some just can't, and mostly with intercourse. And that's nobody's fault, the man or the woman. For those that can't cum, they perhaps can cum in different ways, oral sex, manual stimulation, etc.


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## Quantmflux (Feb 6, 2013)

A lot of the replies are coming off as kind of extreme. Not everyone has the same situation or sensibilities, not everything is absolute or universal.

For the OP, it sounds like the two of you have a pretty good setup normally. I envy it honestly. My wife can pretty much *only* get off using that rabbit thing. Which, to me, was a MIRACULOUS discovery because for ages NOTHING worked so I'm thrilled for her. She doesnt really feel comfortable with me in the equation on that though (she gets embarrassed for whatever reason). Im just happy she gets to experience it.

With sex, *neither* of us generally finishes. For me, it's tricky for me to be able to from PIV (no clue why) Condoms make it a ton worse and we do tend to use them b/c she can't do the pill for medical reasons and we really dont want to risk another pregnancy.

So most of the time we have sex NEITHER of us gets off, but that works for us. We just enjoy the closeness and the physical sensation that is great even without "the O".

I only mention this to show that is IS possible for *some* people to enjoy sex, and be fulfilled, without absolute adherence to "MUST ORGASM!!!"

For the OP, there are some great suggestions here. Maybe what you can do is suggest that once in a while, the two of you just have a quickie. In exchange ask her if there is anything *she* would want *you* to do purely on her terms. Treat it as a "fantasy" thing. Something special that the two of you give each other.

You get your "once in a while 2 minutes" and she gets something in exchange. Seems workable.

Its an interesting thread because I know of many women who don't orgasm through intercourse EVER and I also have other guy friends who dont necessarily orgasm every session (I asked to make sure it wasnt just me) and are fine with that (especially if they're exhausted from work, stress, etc)


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## Boxing judge (Aug 29, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> When things were getting bad between me and my ex he started to get very selfish and mean during sex.
> 
> He told me one night, after he was done, that he was not responsible for my orgasms. And he rolled over and went to sleep.
> 
> ...


That us why he is your ex


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Boxing judge said:


> That us why he is your ex


So according to you a woman has to make sure her husband has an orgasm but he has no obligation to please her? LOL

If a man cannot handle a woman treating him in the same manner that he treats her, maybe he should grow up and stop mistreating his wife. What a concept... :scratchhead:

That's not why he's my ex. He's my ex because he turned out to be an abusive man who was stealing money from me. I dumped him. I filed for divorce. He did not want the divorce.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

rubymoon said:


> Unlike everyone else on here, it looks like, I have no problem with that. It's kinda hot in its own way.


My SO has told me this as well. She occasionally gets "just hers". I sometimes get "just mine". But most often, it's pretty darn mutual. 

But you might want to look up better techniques of oral sex... 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> So according to you a woman has to make sure her husband has an orgasm but he has no obligation to please her? LOL


Indeed, with an attitude like that, I think it safe to predict a completely sexless marriage in the not too distant future.

Catherine nailed it.


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## Boxing judge (Aug 29, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> So according to you a woman has to make sure her husband has an orgasm but he has no obligation to please her? LOL
> 
> If a man cannot handle a woman treating him in the same manner that he treats her, maybe he should grow up and stop mistreating his wife. What a concept... :scratchhead:
> 
> That's not why he's my ex. He's my ex because he turned out to be an abusive man who was stealing money from me. I dumped him. I filed for divorce. He did not want the divorce.


 He does have an obligation to please her, but not every time. Married couples who have sex every day generally the woman does not get pleased every time. That is why they are having sex every day. If a girl gives her husband an attitude he will not want to have sex all the time which creates a resentment toward each other. This equals in less sex, which equals to more problems.

Men and woman are different creatures. In every relationship there is a leader and a follower. Relationships are generally healthier when men lead and woman follow.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Lila said:


> Why would you think that?



I think the answer is obvious, but if I blatantly say what it is I'll get banned. I would be interested to know, however, if he is happily married. Then again if he's anything like my ex he assumes that if he gets his everything must be fine.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Lila said:


> Believe it or not, woman, just like men, seek pleasure. Not only that but they will look to repeat pleasurable experiences and avoid those that are not.
> 
> Why would you think a woman would have sex everyday when she's not getting pleased everyday? That makes no sense. The opposite is true.


:iagree:

I was going to reply to the pure false part of his post, but you beat me to it, and saved me some typing.

Thanks.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Boxing judge said:


> He does have an obligation to please her, but not every time. Married couples who have sex every day generally the woman does not get pleased every time. That is why they are having sex every day. If a girl gives her husband an attitude he will not want to have sex all the time which creates a resentment toward each other. This equals in less sex, which equals to more problems.


Boy are you clueless about what makes women click. I have sex every day because I love sex every day.

If a man gives his wife an attitude she will not have sex with him. Get a clue.



Boxing judge said:


> Men and woman are different creatures. In every relationship there is a leader and a follower. Relationships are generally healthier when men lead and woman follow.


Again you have no clue. I see that sexism is alive and well between your ears.

In a marriage, there are two equal partners with different strengths. When one partner's strength is in play that partner leads. When the other's is in play it's reversed.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

HHH said:


> Ok, so I haven't read EVERY post, but the ones I did it read it seems some may be overthinking this. I have NO PROBLEM with no O as long as I know ahead of time that could be the plan. A quickie is just that - really quick! As long as I am still getting my needs met routinely, EVERY time isn't a must. I get some perverse pleasure I guess form putting my "scent" on my man before he walks out the door for work. Also, on another level, sometimes sex is just about being very CLOSE. As close as two people can get. And that is not physical, its emotional. So no O is perfectly ok with me. I really just love feeling him inside me.


This is one of the threads that it's best to have read a lot further. The OP left out the whole story. 

He wants to do 2 minute doggy bangs 50% of the time in which only he gets any sexual pleasure AT ALL.

He told us that he through her entire pregnancy that's what their sex life was like .. so it was 100% 2 minute wham, bang events for months.

I can understand her anger at his assumption that he should be able to use her like that.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Rooster2014 said:


> I really cannot believe we are still talking about this. Listen, If a guy loves his wife he will do what ever it takes to make her happy in bed. Cause if he gives 150% I'll bet he gets the same in return. If not he is gonna give another guy the chance to make his wife smile. Its just that simple. Just a matter of time.
> 
> What more is there to say? He needs to man up!!!


Rooster I think a man can love and care about his wife and still not be able to satisfy her sexually. He may have learned sex from unreliable sources, or rely on what worked for a previous lover or believe that women are like men and share their sexual response. If they are married to a woman who gives no feedback or thinks she is defective, he will never know. 

All of these things can be overcome. Every man and woman should learn about sex from reliable sources and know that it's ok to talk about it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Boxing judge said:


> He does have an obligation to please her, but not every time. Married couples who have sex every day generally the woman does not get pleased every time. That is why they are having sex every day. If a girl gives her husband an attitude he will not want to have sex all the time which creates a resentment toward each other. This equals in less sex, which equals to more problems.
> 
> Men and woman are different creatures. In every relationship there is a leader and a follower. Relationships are generally healthier when men lead and woman follow.


Oh my gosh! You are so right! It's much better for me when I spread my legs on command and don't ever make him feel concerned about my orgasm. Marriage is so much easier when only one person has to be happy! Damn, why didn't I realize that sooner? :slap:


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Oh my gosh! You are so right! It's much better for me when I spread my legs on command and don't ever make him feel concerned about my orgasm. Marriage is so much easier when only one person has to be happy! Damn, why didn't I realize that sooner? :slap:




Ha ha, well now that you know I could introduce you to my ex if you want. Believe it or not nobody has snapped him up yet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Boxing judge said:


> He does have an obligation to please her, but not every time. Married couples who have sex every day generally the woman does not get pleased every time. That is why they are having sex every day. If a girl gives her husband an attitude he will not want to have sex all the time which creates a resentment toward each other. This equals in less sex, which equals to more problems.
> 
> Men and woman are different creatures. In every relationship there is a leader and a follower. Relationships are generally healthier when men lead and woman follow.


Boxing is this something you want or something that you have or have had? You were born 100 yrs too late. 

Women are not so much different that men. Both of us want a satisfying sex life as a reward for sharing their bodies. Otherwise why bother. What you propose will lead to a sexless marriage. 

Do you want a sexual slave? If you feel limited by marriage perhaps you would be happier with a D and the freedom to seek what will make you happy.


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## SierraRenee (Sep 8, 2014)

No, I wouldn't get mad if I didn't orgasm. We rarely have quickies because we have at least 30 minutes for foreplay and then about the same amount of piv. I would like a quickie sometimes, especially in the morning, but my DH never wants sex that early. DH is all about my pleasure and that makes it more intimate. Try to focus on her having the O more than yourself.


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## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

Boxing judge said:


> That us why he is your ex


You are confused, he is most likely her ex because he was the type of person who could think like that, an say what he said after making love/having sex with his partner. Her approach might not have been ideal, because waiting a few days to address something that bothered her might have given resentment time to take hold plus I dont believe two wrongs ever make a right, but other than that, I see no problems with how she acted.

Your wife is not being unreasonable in wanting an orgasm, if you finish before she does, go down on her until you are hard again, and then help her finish in the way that works for her. Thats a win/win situation in my book, as there is something incredibly sexy about going down on a woman after youve finished inside her. Whenever I get the chance to do so, I'm hard as a rock 10 seconds into the act.


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## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

Boxing judge said:


> Men and woman are different creatures. In every relationship there is a leader and a follower. Relationships are generally healthier when men lead and woman follow.


Wow, I didnt get to this post before making my other one. I would highly recommend that you attend some individual counseling, and once you are comfortable in that setting, invite your wife to attend couples counseling with you.


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## MrsFrench (Sep 9, 2014)

I don't get angry when I don't orgasm, I'm a very finicky climaxer - things have to be just right, and honestly, to get there can be rather boring. I prefer foreplay and sex in both our our favorite positions, and then achieving a clitoral orgasm after him. I have moments of heightened pleasure during sex, but I discovered medically/technically it isn't an actual orgasm, and had to work to discover how to achieve one clitorally. 

Now, I would absolutely be upset if my husband just ditched me after he was satisfied. He always lets me get my vibrator and plays with my breasts, kisses me/my neck and talks me through it - when I want to go for the BIG O, as we call it. Sometimes though, I don't want or need to, I feel satisfied without it. 

And like some other posters have said, I think it's hot when my husband wants to bend me over for a quickie.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Disappointed perhaps but not mad...


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