# Caught a Lie!! Now What?



## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

Hubby had a EA found out Aug 09. So since then I have checked phone records,e-mail, and computer history up till yesterday I didn't find anything in fact I hadn't checked his accounts in mths but I was bored last night and checked. I found where someone has went to a porn site while I was at work. I asked him about it he says that it wasn't him and as for as I know his best friend wasn't over and the only other in the house is the dog. plus the shortcut had been erased.. So should I let it go since it was a one time thing or ask him again? Things has been so good.


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

Is porn really a deal breaker with you guys? Every couple has their own rules, but unless was something disturbing I'd say him visiting the site isn't a big deal.


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

It's not a deal breaker! We have visited this site together a couple of times. Just wish he would have admitted that he went on the site without me


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

Ehh, I'd probably say let it go then. While you guys enjoy it together it's natural for him to want to enjoy things by himself every now and then.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

Get to the root of the problem, or everyone's advice and your mind working overtime will drive you to the nut house. This isn't about him visiting porn sites or how you feel about him visiting porn sites. This is about his dishonesty in that he lied about visiting the porn site. Now decide how you feel about him lying to you.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I agree with Susan--since you've visited the porn site together as a couple, it would seem it's not so much "the porn site" that's the issue, but rather the fact that he may be lying about it. 

I would suggest that you do a W-T-F-S:

WHEN you...
I THINK....
I FEEL....
SO I'm going to request...

and it might be something like this:

When I see a porn site on your history and no one else was in the house, but you say it wasn't you
I think "Oh good God here were go again" and wonder if you think I'm gullible because no one else was here. I also think you don't trust me enough to be transparent with me 
I feel VERY afraid that you might be trying to lie to me again, and disappointed that you might not have faith me
So* I'm going to request* that if you DID go there, you would remember I love you and won't start a fight--I just want things like that to be shared with me and not a secret. If you did go there and then panicked when I asked, I would appreciate your honesty and consider it a compliment.


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