# Maybe I need tech help after all



## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

My W is pretty damn near oblivious with tech. What is the easiest way to track all her text messages. I need to know content not just number of texts. I really dont think anything is going on, but she has 1 co worker that she communicates with on text and actually DELETES the text. I was shocked to see that she deleted something, so now Im curious. I cant go crazy with jailbreaking or anything, just want some way that I can see her texts.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Type of phone, plan and carrier please.


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## DeterminedToThrive (Nov 2, 2013)

Selectively deleting texts = HUGE Red Flag 

IMO


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

weightlifter said:


> Type of phone, plan and carrier please.


ATT, iphone 4s. I have no idea on the plan. its a work phone, gotta be unlimited. Its also brand ass new. get a new replacement from a 4 a week ago


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

DeterminedToThrive said:


> Selectively deleting texts = HUGE Red Flag
> 
> IMO


of course it is. its just as likely...probably more likely...that the text contained information that would be embarrassing if another co-worker or client saw it. for example "so so is being such a *****" or "so an so doesn't know his ass from a hole in the wall"

In the end, Im on TAM, Im gonna snoop, so thats gotta count for something. Just trying to be 100% sure.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

happi_g_more2 said:


> of course it is. its just as likely...probably more likely...that the text contained information that would be embarrassing if another co-worker or client saw it. for example "so so is being such a *****" or "so an so doesn't know his ass from a hole in the wall"
> 
> In the end, Im on TAM, Im gonna snoop, so thats gotta count for something. Just trying to be 100% sure.


Don't give any thought to snooping. She's your partner, your wife. She's selectively deleting texts to prevent SOMEBODY from seeing them. That somebody could be you, or it could be her employer. The reality is, if she was worried her employer would find out, she'd put a quick end to it, because the phones are certainly monitored by her work IT department. Chances are 75% that she's deleting them so that YOU don't see them. 

In order to track her texts you'll need her Apple ID and password. Do you know that? 

It would be helpful to know if you've discovered any inappropriate texts that haven't been deleted? How many texts are there? How do you know that texts have been deleted - are they individual texts or whole threads? How long has this been going on? Has your W been more disconnected? Does she have her phone with her all the time - in the bathroom, going to another room? Does she stay up after you more often? Has sex frequency/quality gone down recently? Has your W shared with you anything about this other person? Has she upped her appearance?

Eyes and ears wide open. Do not confront her on this yet. Keep posting what you see and hear in this forum. You'll get lots of help and support. All may be well in the end. Or it may not be. We'll help you find out.

PS. Is the old work phone still laying around or did she have to turn it in?


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

Does she sync her phone on your home computer?
For a Mac download a free program IBackup Viewer and just run it. It will find any iphones being synced on it. There you can see everything that was on it when she last synced (though not deleted texts I think).
There's another program called iScavenge - same (I think).

But, there's one called Decipher TextMessage & if you get the full version ($20 I think) it can also retrieve deleted messages or bits of them. On the free one it gives you the first couple of words of the deleted text.

Texts don't actually get deleted, just flagged so they don't show up. Eventually they get written over when the memory gets full. Hence you might see a full one or fragments. These also show up on a Spotlight search even though they are flagged as deleted. So if you can get your hands on her phone do a *Spotlight search *and type in the guys number and see if anything shows up.

It's a while since I did it but it's a start for you anyway. 
Does she email him, or is he a FB friend?
Make sure she doesn't know you are snooping and if there is something there, you'll find it. 

If your gut says something isn't right, don't ignore it.

Also why would she think people at work would look at msgs on her phone? 

And BTW, she shouldn't be getting friendly with a guy from work to the extent that she is texting him - that ain't allowed in marriage last I heard. Not unless she's telling you all about it which she is clearly not.

Good luck and I hope there's another explanation.


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

I heard that you can lookup deleted texts using the phones search function.

My stepsons dad texted my wife one time and she said he must've texted the wrong person. I noticed a few days later the texts from him were deleted.

I busted her when she forgot to delete one of them.


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

Assuming that she is deleting texts for any purpose other than to hide what was said is a mistake. We all would love to believe that our spouses weren't cheating so initially we tend to make up our own excuses in our minds to minimize the possibility that there is something far worse going on. Only to find out down the road that the worst was true. Be careful my friend and trust your gut feeling.


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## Stressedandsad (Jan 29, 2014)

I've tried a few of them so far and none of them pick up all the deleted texts. They only pick up a few. I found the ones that were on the phone the longest seem to come through on those retrieval programs. If she deletes them immediately, you're less likely to recover them. I found Wondershare Dr. Fone to be the best and you can download it for free. You can still see the texts without buying the full program but you can't retrieve them and put them back on the phone. (which you don't need anyway)
You'll either need access to her phone though or if she's backed it up on itunes, you can pull the latest backup without the actual phone. You can also pull icloud if you have that password.

If you have the actual phone (I waited until H went to sleep) then you can also plug it directly into the program without jailbreaking it. Takes about 5-7 min. so you would need to be sure you have that much time undetected. 

One last thing, deleted texts come through in strange order and sometimes garbled. Hard to find them because you have to scroll through every single text.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Does she lock her phone? Does she guard her phone? Does the bulk of her texts happen when your not around? These are red flags as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

john1068 said:


> Don't give any thought to snooping. She's your partner, your wife. She's selectively deleting texts to prevent SOMEBODY from seeing them. That somebody could be you, or it could be her employer. The reality is, if she was worried her employer would find out, she'd put a quick end to it, because the phones are certainly monitored by her work IT department. Chances are 75% that she's deleting them so that YOU don't see them.


Id say 5%, but I get what you are saying



john1068 said:


> In order to track her texts you'll need her Apple ID and password. Do you know that?


Hell yeah. I know all all her stuff.



john1068 said:


> It would be helpful to know if you've discovered any inappropriate texts that haven't been deleted? How many texts are there? How do you know that texts have been deleted - are they individual texts or whole threads? How long has this been going on? Has your W been more disconnected? Does she have her phone with her all the time - in the bathroom, going to another room? Does she stay up after you more often? Has sex frequency/quality gone down recently? Has your W shared with you anything about this other person? Has she upped her appearance?


No. Nothing inappropriate EVER. Number of texts, I dont know exactly. She got her phone a week ago. Started regular use. I started snooping right around the same time. I just noticed yesterday that she deleted a thread from a co-worker that I had previously read. I picked up her phone to look at texts from the specific person and they were ALL gone. So Im really just missing that days worth of texting. As for the rest, she has displayed none of this. No distance, no sex changes, no extra talking about this person. No apperance changes...she always looks good for work. always has.




john1068 said:


> Eyes and ears wide open. Do not confront her on this yet. Keep posting what you see and hear in this forum. You'll get lots of help and support. All may be well in the end. Or it may not be. We'll help you find out.


Interesting you say that cause I almost did last night. It all seems so far fetched. I did kind of a mini confrontation in that I sort of expressed a vague fear of her cheating. 



john1068 said:


> PS. Is the old work phone still laying around or did she have to turn it in?


Its gone!!!!


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Ok so you have a relevant text string missing only the last text.

Was anything inappropriate?


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

********** said:


> Does she sync her phone on your home computer?
> For a Mac download a free program IBackup Viewer and just run it. It will find any iphones being synced on it. There you can see everything that was on it when she last synced (though not deleted texts I think).
> There's another program called iScavenge - same (I think).
> 
> ...



She actually doesnt sync...ever. thats how un-tech savy she is. she gets a new phone and uses it till it "breaks" (probably just needs an os update) and gets another one. 

I know about spotlight and tried it. I actually tested it on her phone. found a random text that I sent her. deleted 1 text from it with a very specific word. then went to spotlight and it didnt show the text. I think they fixed that in the 4, this is a 4s. 

As for the texting....its part of her job. and i can easily see her putting her phone down in front of someone accidentally, with a text talking **** about someone else. 
Also, I have not seen ANYTHING in texts that have shown anything that is inappropriate or really even not work related. 

I am a FULL believer in gut feelings. everything in my life that has gone bad as a result of someone elses purposeful actions was preceded by a gut feeling. I actually DON'T have one right now. Im just covering bases at this point.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

Stressedandsad said:


> I've tried a few of them so far and none of them pick up all the deleted texts. They only pick up a few. I found the ones that were on the phone the longest seem to come through on those retrieval programs. If she deletes them immediately, you're less likely to recover them. I found Wondershare Dr. Fone to be the best and you can download it for free. You can still see the texts without buying the full program but you can't retrieve them and put them back on the phone. (which you don't need anyway)
> You'll either need access to her phone though or if she's backed it up on itunes, you can pull the latest backup without the actual phone. You can also pull icloud if you have that password.
> 
> If you have the actual phone (I waited until H went to sleep) then you can also plug it directly into the program without jailbreaking it. Takes about 5-7 min. so you would need to be sure you have that much time undetected.
> ...


THese are the types of suggestions Im looking for. I already hooked up icloud and icloud on her work ipad. so at the least, when she leaves that behind, i should see texts as she sees them.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

Thound said:


> Does she lock her phone? Does she guard her phone? Does the bulk of her texts happen when your not around? These are red flags as well.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


no. none of that


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

weightlifter said:


> Ok so you have a relevant text string missing only the last text.
> 
> Was anything inappropriate?


No, nothing inappropriate. and its not the last text. She had a 3 day string..maybe 50 texts that I read. Then 24 hours later, when i had the phone again, the whole conversation with that person was gone. then 24 hours later, a new one was started.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

happi_g_more2 said:


> THese are the types of suggestions Im looking for. I already hooked up icloud and icloud on her work ipad. so at the least, when she leaves that behind, i should see texts as she sees them.


You will only see the iMessages and not true texts. The texts come through a phone number and utilize the phone companies network to transmit through and not the Apple servers that iMessage utilizes. So to recap, if it is an iMessage it should be mirror'd to the iPad, but if it is a true text message, then it will only be on her device. (You can tell the difference between the two as text messages will have green backgrounds on the sent text bubble, and iMessage will have blue. She can also turn off the capability to use iMessage within the device settings, so everything will be sent as text message only.)


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## Stressedandsad (Jan 29, 2014)

Squeakr said:


> You will only see the iMessages and not true texts. The texts come through a phone number and utilize the phone companies network to transmit through and not the Apple servers that iMessage utilizes. So to recap, if it is an iMessage it should be mirror'd to the iPad, but if it is a true text message, then it will only be on her device. (You can tell the difference between the two as text messages will have green backgrounds on the sent text bubble, and iMessage will have blue. She can also turn off the capability to use iMessage within the device settings, so everything will be sent as text message only.)


That's right. icloud only shows imessages and not SMS.

Do you think you could get access to her phone overnight? If so, get Wondershare and give it a try. I'm thinking from your description that this might be nothing but I understand needing to know.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

Stressedandsad said:


> That's right. icloud only shows imessages and not SMS.
> 
> Do you think you could get access to her phone overnight? If so, get Wondershare and give it a try. I'm thinking from your description that this might be nothing but I understand needing to know.


Im almost positive they both have iphones through work, so it so im guessing it would go through icloud. Do both of them need to have icloud set up? or will it work as long as she has it set up? I set it up on both phone and ipad. she would have no clue how that works. 

Thanks for the encouragment. Most on TAM here want to jump to the worst (which I both love and hate))) In the end, I think you are right. However, like you said, gotta know.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

happi_g_more2 said:


> Im almost positive they both have iphones through work, so it so im guessing it would go through icloud. Do both of them need to have icloud set up? or will it work as long as she has it set up? I set it up on both phone and ipad. she would have no clue how that works.
> 
> Thanks for the encouragment. Most on TAM here want to jump to the worst (which I both love and hate))) In the end, I think you are right. However, like you said, gotta know.


In order to utilize iMessage functionality, both have to have that set up on their respective devices and both have the settings to allow iMessages to go through. If not it will revert to Text/SMS/MMS messaging. Check the phone for the colors and see if they are using iMessage or not. Just because the company supplies them iDevices, doesn't always mean they have them set up to utilize it, some still default to text/sms/mms as some will want to have other devices (non-smartphones, and androids) which won't be able to use iMessage.

If you set up the information onto her devices then it is a good bet that the company doesn't set it up through policy and they were utilizing text/sms/mms means.


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## Stressedandsad (Jan 29, 2014)

Almost every one of my friends has an iphone including my H and all the texts are sent via SMS. You can go ahead and download Wondershare and try it right now on icloud and see what comes up. If there's nothing there, you have to physically connect the phone and even then, just be aware that texts get overwritten sometimes. I wish there was an eaiser way too. I'd give my right arm to see all of my WS texts right now.


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## Janky (Nov 26, 2013)

Stressedandsad said:


> Almost every one of my friends has an iphone including my H and all the texts are sent via SMS. You can go ahead and download Wondershare and try it right now on icloud and see what comes up. If there's nothing there, you have to physically connect the phone and even then, just be aware that texts get overwritten sometimes. I wish there was an eaiser way too. I'd give my right arm to see all of my WS texts right now.


The default setting should be for imessage to be ON.

It will send sms to other phones that dont support imessage.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Janky said:


> The default setting should be for imessage to be ON.
> 
> It will send sms to other phones that dont support imessage.


I believe that the only way the device defaults to on is if the apple ID is entered during initial setup, otherwise this default is impossible as there is no apple id to send the iMessages through, so in this case (since the H had to setup the accounts on the device) I would bet the defaults were off for this company (and most devices as they are set up during activation and no apple id is entered until later, normally).


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

happi_g_more2 said:


> Id say 5%, but I get what you are saying


That may be...but that 5% has you quite frisky, doesn't it? 

Given the age of the phone, I'd not spend a lot of time trying to extracted already deleted messages. I'd track in real-time going forward. Go to TeenSafe, and subscribe (don't bother with the free version) to the iPhone service. The service allows to to view all text messages sent and received, including deleted texts. The service does not put any tracking apps on the phone, it's all done through her Apple ID. 

Regarding spotlight search, there is some question as to whether or not iMessaging corrupts the deleted text so it does not show up in the Spotlight search. I just checked mine by searching for key words and they popped up. Were I you, I'd go into her settings and simply turn iMessage feature to OFF. This will turn the message bubbles from BLUE to GREEN. She'll likely not notice given her lack of tech savvy. Note that when you DO this, any iMessage texts will become hidden as though they were deleted. If ever iMessage is turned back on, those hidden messages will repopulate.

It's worthwhile to note that I was suspicious of my W's texting and Facebook behavior back in October 2013. I found TAM and got all kinds of advice from yeah, she's definitely cheating on you to eyes open, ears open, mouth shut, 007...In my case, she wasn't cheating, not even an EA, nothing inappropriate. It had been just a hmmmmm moment. So even TAMers can be off the mark.

Do what you have to to assuage your feelings...like you, my W and I know each others passwords for everything. Snoop away in my house. Hope you find the same.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Stressedandsad said:


> John, I have a question about Teensafe. Doesn't that send alerts to the Apple Account? I was going to install that one but was worried he'd be tipped off.


It does *not *send a message to the Apple ID email of record.

In a moment, I'll post the screenshots of the signup and registration of a device. The only emails I received were to my email of record to the registrant of TeenSafe, NOT to the email of record of the Apple ID. This is ABSOLUTE...I am NOT an attorney. So I offer no advice on the legality of tracking data for an adult.

It's a brutally honest program. One cannot hide from their text activity...


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Below is the screen shots of the signup and device registration at TeenSafe, in this case, specific to an iPhone running iOS 6. Though this is not meaningful. 

Note that this service is for a parent to monitor their minor child's cell phone activity. This makes it legal...Unless you're married to your minor child, then you can make assumptions as the legality of using this service on your spouse. I'm not an attorney, and I'm not advocating that anyone use this service in a manner that is not legal in your state/city. I am only providing information on a service that exists in the marketplace.

These are the emails I received when setting up - one upon registering the device, the other notifying me that the device was ready to track. This is confusing to those who would be in a panic thinking that they'll now get discovered by the person they are tracking. These emails came to ME from TeenSafe because I registered the device. There was no alerts to the Apple ID owner...










Step 1)









Step 2)









Step 3)









Step 4)









Step 5)









Step 6)









Once it's registered, you get a dashboard:









Check out the deleted messages, when you click on any message, the actual text is shown:









Check out current yet-to-be-deleted texts:









This program is diabolical...With great power comes great responsibility...


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Stressedandsad said:


> Really? Not even an initial message saying the software has been downloaded? I really really want to try this but nervous he would find it. THANKS!!


Really. Nothing. Nada. Again, when you register, you must register with an email address as your user name, then create a password. Once you register, you'll get an email titled:
"[last name]- TeenSafe Account Welcome Email"

Then, once you register the device to an Apple ID, the email you used to create the account will get the following message from TeenSafe Support:
"TeenSafe iPhone data is ready"

I received no "headsup" notification to my Apple ID email address at all...These are the only two emails that go out. 

What I know is that somebody may not realize that these emails do not go to the Apple ID email of record. It only goes to the email that established the TeenSafe account.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Stressedandsad said:


> Your pictures don't show up for me but I get the idea. I see another downside. It will show up on CC bill.


I'll try to get the pix to show...have tried my google drive as well as dropbox....will find a workaround.

Yes, a charge will show on the credit card, if you go past the free trial.

Go to the grocery store and buy some items using your debit card. Select cash back, lose the grocery receipt in the trash bin on your way out the door, or simply use cash that you have in the pocket...then go to Walmart and buy a visa prepaid card. Register using that card.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

I see the pics fine. this sounds like the kind of solution im looking for. So you are POSITIVE there is no way that she or her IT will know that this is happening???


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

Does it show up as an app on the phone?


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

happi_g_more2 said:


> I see the pics fine. this sounds like the kind of solution im looking for. So you are POSITIVE there is no way that she or her IT will know that this is happening???


I can tell you from my own personal experience that it does not. However, I want you to be completely comfortable with the process. 

Before you do anything, tell me, do you have an iTunes account of your own? Do you have another email address other than you iTunes email? If so, sign up for the service using your non-iTunes email address, and register your Apple ID. You should get the two emails I told you of into your non-iTunes email account, and NOTHING in the iTunes email of record. This is easy to verify in both accounts.

Your comfort is paramount. Give it a try.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Remains said:


> Does it show up as an app on the phone?


There is no app on the phone, everything is tracked the Apple ID. I have no idea how it works. Im guessing it's a security agreement between Apple and TeenSafe.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Stressedandsad said:


> So I'm giving this try. Thanks John! So far however, it is showing me the same data I can get from Wondershare using the icloud account. Wondershare is free. I'm going to see if the next icloud update shows anything different later.
> 
> You mentioned don't bother with the free version. Is that only because it shows the first few lines?


Problem with wondershare is you need to physically have the phone to apply the query. Dr. Phone is also not free, it has a free version and a paid version, just like TeenSafe. And the free part doesn't give you full access. And for the OP, who wants to settle for only pieces of the puzzle? They have enough of them already. 

With TeenSafe paid version, you don't have to have the phone in your possession. You can get real time location data without the phone user knowing it.

In the TeenSafe free trial mode, you have access only to 3 latest messages in a thread. That isn't going to work for any OP.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

BTW most grocery stores sell VISA GIFT CARDS!!

Walmart sells that amex birdname account.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

Stressedandsad said:


> So I'm giving this try. Thanks John! So far however, it is showing me the same data I can get from Wondershare using the icloud account. Wondershare is free. I'm going to see if the next icloud update shows anything different later.
> 
> You mentioned don't bother with the free version. Is that only because it shows the first few lines?


Wow. Wondershare kind of kicks ass. I just updated itunes. installed Wondershare and plugged in the phone. In 2 mins I had everything that was on the phone...deleted and all. 

Nothing incriminating. But ill use this from time to time.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

john1068 said:


> I can tell you from my own personal experience that it does not. However, I want you to be completely comfortable with the process.
> 
> Before you do anything, tell me, do you have an iTunes account of your own? Do you have another email address other than you iTunes email? If so, sign up for the service using your non-iTunes email address, and register your Apple ID. You should get the two emails I told you of into your non-iTunes email account, and NOTHING in the iTunes email of record. This is easy to verify in both accounts.
> 
> Your comfort is paramount. Give it a try.


I have itunes. had to update it for wondershare (wondershare = great tool, not perfect, but pretty damn nifty). As for TeenSafe. I think im gonna hold off for now. its kind of making me uncomfortable after all our talks the last 2 weeks and the fact that I didnt see anything in wondershare. but if i get any suspicion...im going straight to teensafe.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

Just wanted to thank everyone for their input. verified no fire under smoke....actually no smoke even. maybe a slight wisp of mist that i think i saw out of the corner of my eye.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

happi_g_more2 said:


> Just wanted to thank everyone for their input. verified no fire under smoke....actually no smoke even. maybe a slight wisp of mist that i think i saw out of the corner of my eye.


What a relief! I now how you feel. WHen I cam to TAM in October 2013, I was looking for a way to prove my W was faithful RATHER than unfaithful. And I, too, found she was and is. 

No use your new-found powers only when necessary. And enjoy Valentines day with your DW.


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

I'm glad all was OK Happi. 

I hope you don't mind my asking, but from the beginning you seemed quite sure everything was OK - 5% as you said. 

I probably sound as if I am looking for something where there isn't anything. I'm not - I guess I'm just curious.

I can't help wondering why you felt and feel suspicious as you said you will keep an eye on her texts. Or are you naturally suspicious and self-protective in the way I am naturally curious? 

It was as if you wouldn't have been surprised if you found something. 

Is it because she and the guy are texting? Why are they texting? It sounds as if it's quite a bit - too much TBH, not sure I would like my H doing that. Are the texts all about work or just inane banter? 

It doesn't sound as if you trust your wife 100%. 

But shouldn't we be able to trust our spouse 100%? And not have to snoop on them & keep an eye on them? Of course that is what I did! 

Anyway I'm being the devil's advocate here. There's something that unsettles me, like the wisp of smoke you mentioned.


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## Differentguy (Oct 3, 2013)

happi_g_more2 said:


> Wow. Wondershare kind of kicks ass. I just updated itunes. installed Wondershare and plugged in the phone. In 2 mins I had everything that was on the phone...deleted and all.
> 
> Nothing incriminating. But ill use this from time to time.


Really glad to hear this.


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## Stressedandsad (Jan 29, 2014)

happi_g_more2 said:


> Wow. Wondershare kind of kicks ass. I just updated itunes. installed Wondershare and plugged in the phone. In 2 mins I had everything that was on the phone...deleted and all.
> 
> Nothing incriminating. But ill use this from time to time.


So glad for you!


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

********** said:


> I'm glad all was OK Happi.
> 
> I hope you don't mind my asking, but from the beginning you seemed quite sure everything was OK - 5% as you said.
> 
> ...


One word. TAM!!! I came here in search of help in other aspects of my relationship with my wife and other past relationships that I have had...that left some scars. I never really worried about my wife and other men. I was super secure. which is why I kind of fell apart a bit when I suspected another WOMAN!!!!! I wont go into too much detail, but my wife, before we were married, had a bit of a history with that kind of thing. And not the "lets experiment" kind. She was involved in a deep, tumultuous relationship for a short time. Decades ago. She swears she wasnt "L" or Bi..but still cant explain it. She feels like she was manipulated and taken advantage of. After being on TAM for a while i realized that there were some signs...not big ones...but some. Plus, her job puts her in positions where she has AMPLE opportunities. You just never know for sure when the cats away.....and its 2am in a hotel room 1000 miles from home.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Stressedandsad said:


> Actually you don't physically need the phone for Wondershare's icloud tab. It pulls virtually the same info as Teensafe from what I can tell. On Wondershare, you get all the texts in a thread but you can't "recover them back to the phone". You can still read them. Since I did buy the gift card, I'm going to upgrade to the paid version on TS just to see but I think it's the same as Wondershare's free version with the exception of location data. That part may be necessary for others on here. Thanks again John! You've been a great help!


Glad to help. I thing it is important to separate the differences between Wondershare and TeenSafe. Wondershare works off of the iCloud backup. So if an iPhone is not set up to backup to the iCloud (like if it's an iPhone 3g or gs or older running older iOS versions where iCloud isn't even an option, then Wondershare will not work. TeenSafe works through the Apple ID, which everybody with an iPhone/iPad/iPod has. 

If Wondershare is a 10, then TeenSafe is an 11...


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

happi_g_more2 said:


> You just never know for sure when the cats away.....and its 2am in a hotel room 1000 miles from home.


You've awoken from your comfort-slumber. It's a good thing, I think. I was comfortable with my W for far too long, and our relationship hit a pretty low low last year. No cheating, she was completely faithful to me. But I think if I hadn't woken up and started paying attention, being more of an alpha, beta when I needed to, but just enough not too much, and if I hadn't found this forum, we all now know that the best of marriages CAN and DO end up ending in an affair. 

Stay sharp. Eyes open. Listen with great interest in what she is saying. Pay attention, and you will see the signs of change that will get you to use your new found powers. And never be afraid to validate your feelings if something seems wrong...

Have you talked with her about that time and how it may relate to you today? Those kinds of feelings just can't simply go away, IMO...


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

john1068 said:


> Glad to help. I thing it is important to separate the differences between Wondershare and TeenSafe. Wondershare works off of the iCloud backup. So if an iPhone is not set up to backup to the iCloud (like if it's an iPhone 3g or gs or older running older iOS versions where iCloud isn't even an option, then Wondershare will not work. TeenSafe works through the Apple ID, which everybody with an iPhone/iPad/iPod has.
> 
> If Wondershare is a 10, then TeenSafe is an 11...


I used the DrFone feature. It found MY test deleted text from a couple of days ago. I got her phone, went into our thread and deleted a 1 word text that simply said "Blue". I used it to test spotlight. It didnt show up in spotlight after I deleted it. It DID show up on Wondershare. My question is, if it only works off the cloud, and texts are backed up to the cloud, then there must be more going on here. 

With wondershare, i wouldnt call it 10 just yet. It really depends on how aggressive you want to be. Some of the "deleted" things were garbly ****. some of the information was incomplete. some of the text threads were, from my best gusstimation, blended or merged and some were split up (ie, wondershare presented some text outside of their original thread). However, if you haave someone that is sexting a ton and deleting religiously, I think wondershare would pick up at least SOMETHING. Also, for vids, voice, and I THINK pictures, you have to restore them to the phone to see them.


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## Stressedandsad (Jan 29, 2014)

happi_g_more2 said:


> I used the DrFone feature. It found MY test deleted text from a couple of days ago. I got her phone, went into our thread and deleted a 1 word text that simply said "Blue". I used it to test spotlight. It didnt show up in spotlight after I deleted it. It DID show up on Wondershare. My question is, if it only works off the cloud, and texts are backed up to the cloud, then there must be more going on here.
> 
> With wondershare, i wouldnt call it 10 just yet. It really depends on how aggressive you want to be. Some of the "deleted" things were garbly ****. some of the information was incomplete. some of the text threads were, from my best gusstimation, blended or merged and some were split up (ie, wondershare presented some text outside of their original thread). However, if you haave someone that is sexting a ton and deleting religiously, I think wondershare would pick up at least SOMETHING. Also, for vids, voice, and I THINK pictures, you have to restore them to the phone to see them.


You can see thumbnails of photos on the phone as well as any attachment sent via text. To see the full size photo you have to upgrade to the paid version. You can also see a call log and anything deleted from the call log.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

john1068 said:


> You've awoken from your comfort-slumber. It's a good thing, I think. I was comfortable with my W for far too long, and our relationship hit a pretty low low last year. No cheating, she was completely faithful to me. But I think if I hadn't woken up and started paying attention, being more of an alpha, beta when I needed to, but just enough not too much, and if I hadn't found this forum, we all now know that the best of marriages CAN and DO end up ending in an affair.
> 
> Stay sharp. Eyes open. Listen with great interest in what she is saying. Pay attention, and you will see the signs of change that will get you to use your new found powers. And never be afraid to validate your feelings if something seems wrong...
> 
> Have you talked with her about that time and how it may relate to you today? Those kinds of feelings just can't simply go away, IMO...


Ive always been pretty alpha. my wife is a hot head and i have NO problem putting her in her place in short order. For such a loving devoted couple, we have some doooooozzzzzziiiieeesss when we fight. When i say put her in her place, keep in mind, she is a fully and wonderfully independent strong woman. I by no means, am suggesting that i put her in a submissive position. she just knows that any time she attempts to step on me, she will get beat down (metaphorically speaking). 

Over the last couple of weeks we have had some really wonderful conversations and time together. She melts at the fact that, after all this time, I realize that relationships are fragile and she is so special to me. We did have a blow up when we talked about her past a bit, but that was mainly because, for her, its like sicking a knife in an old wound. she really just wishes it could be erased. she has the perception that everytime things are good in her life, this topic creeps up and ruins it.


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## happi_g_more2 (Jan 27, 2014)

Stressedandsad said:


> You can see thumbnails of photos on the phone as well as any attachment sent via text. To see the full size photo you have to upgrade to the paid version. You can also see a call log and anything deleted from the call log.


Good, I knew there were pics, but I couldnt remember if it showed deleted. The only reason I bring it up is because..  we sexted for the first time in both our lives when she was on a business trip last month  I obviously we deleted everthing, but I didnt see any of it on wondershare. Im 100% sure if it was on her new phone though.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

john1068 said:


> Glad to help. I thing it is important to separate the differences between Wondershare and TeenSafe. Wondershare works off of the iCloud backup. So if an iPhone is not set up to backup to the iCloud (like if it's an iPhone 3g or gs or older running older iOS versions where iCloud isn't even an option, then Wondershare will not work. TeenSafe works through the Apple ID, which everybody with an iPhone/iPad/iPod has.
> 
> If Wondershare is a 10, then TeenSafe is an 11...


Are you definitely sure about the above statements, as your screen shots of TeenSafe show at the bottom of the set up page on step 5 that it must have iCloud sharing on and be backed up to iCloud to work??

Wondershare doesn't need iCloud backup on, just to have a backup method in place (either syncing to a computer or the iCloud) as it works off the back up of the device (be it either iCloud or computer sync'd backup).


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Squeakr said:


> Are you definitely sure about the above statements, as your screen shots of TeenSafe show at the bottom of the set up page on step 5 that it must have iCloud sharing on and be backed up to iCloud to work??
> 
> Wondershare doesn't need iCloud backup on, just to have a backup method in place (either syncing to a computer or the iCloud) as it works off the back up of the device (be it either iCloud or computer sync'd backup).


Sorry for the delay, I missed your question...my iPhone is not backed up to iCloud. I back it up to iTunes via USB, and I've not done it in a long time. Yet my web activity, my texts, deleted texts, etc all show up. I have no idea how it all works...it just does. My GUESS is that, no unlike Google, Apple knows EVERYTHING about how each of their devices is used, whether one uses iCloud or not. The usage info is reported via the Apple ID some some data farm, and it is this farm that TeenSafe uses. Just a guess.


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## Stressedandsad (Jan 29, 2014)

john1068 said:


> Sorry for the delay, I missed your question...my iPhone is not backed up to iCloud. I back it up to iTunes via USB, and I've not done it in a long time. Yet my web activity, my texts, deleted texts, etc all show up. I have no idea how it all works...it just does. My GUESS is that, no unlike Google, Apple knows EVERYTHING about how each of their devices is used, whether one uses iCloud or not. The usage info is reported via the Apple ID some some data farm, and it is this farm that TeenSafe uses. Just a guess.


Wait, I missed this. John, are you saying that even though you haven't done a back up, you're getting CURRENT info via Teensafe?


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Stressedandsad said:


> Wait, I missed this. John, are you saying that even though you haven't done a back up, you're getting CURRENT info via Teensafe?


I'm going to do some more tinkering with it. When is your WH getting back home?

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Stressedandsad (Jan 29, 2014)

john1068 said:


> I'm going to do some more tinkering with it. When is your WH getting back home?
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Not until first weekend in March.


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## JustRon (Feb 16, 2014)

I went ahead with Teensafe. The level of detail was tremendous. The 

However, my W details stopped December 24th. After reading the FAQ I believe this is the last time she backed up the phone. So the phone user would either have to synch to laptop/itunes OR use iCloud. Too bad, now I have to wait until I get home to get more details.

The Facebook portion was terrific because it simplified the viewing of private messages. A warning however, Facebook has settings that may inform the user (via e-mail and FB apps) that someone has logged in from another device (or service).

Ron


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Stressedandsad said:


> Not until first weekend in March.


The thing about iCloud is that text messages is not even a feature that is selectable for iCloud backup. I discovered when I checked my own iPhone, my iCloud backup was turned ON. 

The options for backup are:

Mail
Contacts
Calendars
Reminders
Safari (web)
Notes
Passbook
Documents & Data
Find my iPhone

Text messages is NOT an option, yet TeenSafe DOES track these, even in the absence of this. So I'm not certain as to the way it does track it.

TeenSafe also tracks FaceBook and Instagram, neither of which are options within the iCloud backup system...

So within the TeenSafe user interface, do text messages show up as a big fat zero? Note that TeenSafe NEVER shows current data. You must TELL it to go grab new data from the device each and every time. So if you don't force to extract new data, it will only show the data that it polled when you first set it up.


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## Stressedandsad (Jan 29, 2014)

john1068 said:


> The thing about iCloud is that text messages is not even a feature that is selectable for iCloud backup. I discovered when I checked my own iPhone, my iCloud backup was turned ON.
> 
> The options for backup are:
> 
> ...


Teensafe shows text messages from the last icloud backup. I've asked for it to extract data a couple of times since then and the number of text messages stays the same. But I will check again to be sure.


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## john1068 (Nov 12, 2013)

Stressedandsad said:


> [Q
> 
> Teensafe shows text messages from the last icloud backup. I've asked for it to extract data a couple of times since then and the number of text messages stays the same. But I will check again to be sure.


It is the piece to this that I do not understand how Teensafe works...Because messages is not an option to track, yet it is tracked anyway, I do not know which needs to be checked to "on" to track them. 

While it's too late now, as he doesn't return until March, when he DOES return, get his phone in your hand and turn it all to on. The backup is done while on wifi overnight when it is idle. Costs due to Canadian data usage will not be impacted.

and, in the end, even IF your data cost went up for a billing cycle, and you found out what was happening either way - that he's being good or he's being bad, you'll have what you need to move forward - D or R...

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## MWP (Aug 24, 2016)

Does anyone know if when using Wondershare Dr. Fone to download iCloud data, does it bypass the two-step verification? Or, does the phone get the pop up with the access code?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Deleted

Old eyes locked onto Old thread.


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## Mr.StrongMan (Feb 10, 2016)

happi_g_more2 said:


> My W is pretty damn near oblivious with tech. What is the easiest way to track all her text messages. I need to know content not just number of texts. I really dont think anything is going on, but she has 1 co worker that she communicates with on text and actually DELETES the text. I was shocked to see that she deleted something, so now Im curious. I cant go crazy with jailbreaking or anything, just want some way that I can see her texts.


I would like to learn how to do the same thing myself. 
I have no access to my wife's devices.
Good luck to you.


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