# Don't know what to do!!!!!



## blown away (Feb 19, 2009)

OK. Divorce was finalized in April of this year. EX admitted to smoking Crack with the individual I caught her with. After finding this out I got an emergency order giving me full custody of the kids. We drafted an agreement in which I still offerred to pay her spousal suppport subject to some conditions, one of which she nor the kids were to be around two of the individual specifically named in my affidavit I had to fiel in order to get the order. Well she violated that portion which eliminated my obligation for spousal support. 

We rock along for a couple of months and she moves into the neighborhood where we lived as a family four doors down from me and the kids. Apparently she tought that they would just come and go from house to house as they pleased. This was and is very difficult for everyone but her. 

I had been receiving numerous venemous texts wherein she is threatening to "beat the living sh*&" out of a girl I am dating now. So under advice of counsel I do not respond to any texts she sends me. Three days after moving into the neighborhood she comes to my house and knocks on door. I told her to leave she did not need to be there and she went off. Hollering and cussing me in front of the kids to the point I had to call the cops to get her to leave. 

The texts continue to the point that my attorney had drafted a letter to her informing her that visitation was being suspended until she followed thorugh with getting her drug test she had agreed to take. The letter had not even been put in the mail and she shows up at the bus stop and tries to get our daughter. I told our daughter that she needed to get in my car cause we had to leave. EX won't let her go and begins cussing me again in from of my daughter. Fortunately I had my attorney on the phone the entire time who heard everything and was actually the one that called the cops for the second time. 


So now, I have an order preventing her from having any contact with the kids in any form. What really ticks me off about the whole situation is it is our daughter who suffers because she wants to see her mom. Clearly she has some very deep psychological issues that need to be dealt with. 

I have no idea how to explain this to my daughter who is 8 that she is not going to be able to se her mom until she gets some help. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life. Our son who is 13 has washed his hands of her. Living in a small town he has heard from friends as to what occurred resulting in our divorce. So he is having to deal with his mother cheating, being involved with an individual on drugs and all the other emotions he is going through. 

His mom sees nothing wrong with putting derogatory remarks about me on FB, which is fine with me, except he can see these and has commented to the effect "why are you talking about my dad on FB".  

Has anyone been through issues similiar to this before. This is just a small sampling of things that have occurred. It is clear that she is beginning to realize that her life as she knew it before is over and I can understand having a hard time coping with it. However I do not act this way towards her and am surprised that she thinks I should have to put up with this type of BS.


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

Are you or your children in counseling of any kind? It might be helpful to tell your daughter that mommy is sick right now and needs help, and until mommy gets that help, it's not safe to be around her. I understand that she is only 8 years old but you would be amazed at how well kids handle the truth better than the lies we tell as parents.


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## blown away (Feb 19, 2009)

I go to counselling on and off as needed. I have tried on three occassions to get my son to go and that was not pretty. I have already talked to the counselor and she is going to come to our house to talk to the kids. 

We will see how that goes. Oue daughter is the one that it seems like this has not affected. She seems fine with the changes. I just don't know how she is going to deal with not seeing her mom any longer for the time being. 

Now our son is a totally different story.


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## somuchinlove (Oct 10, 2011)

My H decided he was done with our marriage about 6 weeks ago. My daughter (she is 12) acted as if none of the changes bothered her at all. Last night, she finally told me how she felt. It turns out that she feels bad for my H. She misses him but she understands what he is going through. She sympathizes with him. I was shocked because I assumed that she was going to be devastated by all of this. Children are resilient. I'm sure your daughter will be fine. As long as you are strong for her she will emulate what she sees her daddy doing. As for your son, he is older and knows more of what is really going on. It will be a lot harder for you to help him. The things his mom has done will not be easily forgotten. Hopefully, he will be willing to talk to the counselor when the time comes. Try not to force him into doing anything he doesn't want to do. Maybe he needs some space to sort things out in his head a little before he talks with anyone. All I can say is be the best Dad you can be for your kids. They will remember it for life.


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## cherrymamajb87 (Nov 9, 2011)

I agree with somuch, try not to force your son to see a counselor, this will most likely make him retreat further into his shell. He's 13 which means he understands more of whats going on than your daughter so he has most likely chosen to just ignore it. I feel that there is more to the story of your W, it makes no sense that she would act this way if she hasn't had some kind of history of being this way. I can understand her "life as she knew it" is over, but that doesn't give her the right to act like that in front of her children. As far as the text messages and such, just ignore them, they will stop much faster if you do. Also you can tell the school that she is no longer allowed to pick up her children, show them the paperwork, and they won't let her go on the property. I hope your situation gets better soon.


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