# My mother is driving me crazy!!!



## capricorngirl_99 (Feb 7, 2012)

My mother can be such a drama queen at times and last week, she decided to buy a new puppy that she has always wanted . My parents have another dog who has jealousy issues and is overly spoiled and has not be trained to do anything in her life. My mother apparently thought that the puppy was going to come in a box already trained and everything because she calls me all hours of the day complaining about everything the puppy is doing.  It's always "I don't have time for myself anymore", or "The puppy won't let me sleep anymore." I am getting really annoyed because it was HER decision to buy the damn thing in the first place. My dad tried to warn her about it, but did she listen, NO. I am ready to tell her to deal with because it was her decision. Sorry, I had to vent.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

Vent away. This a great forum for venting.


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## capricorngirl_99 (Feb 7, 2012)

That's great! I am glad that is what they are for! She is driving me nuts though. It's not like a puppy arrives all well behaved. She should have known what she was getting into before she bought it instead of complaining.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

So it sounds like logic and your mother are incapable of being in the same room at the same time, right?


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## capricorngirl_99 (Feb 7, 2012)

Riverside MFT said:


> So it sounds like logic and your mother are incapable of being in the same room at the same time, right?


Well it's not that bad. But she does things that annoy me and hurt me. We do have our moments and she doesn't hesitate to criticize me. For example, the other day I was wearing a dress I bought from Goodwill and she asked me where I got it from and I told her and she about went ballistic and told me that she would give me money to buy real clothes. My fiance and I are not doing so well financially right now because he lost his job not long ago and that felt like a slap in my face. She always never hesitates to remind me that I am overweight and that I need to lose weight. She told me that before my wedding, I had to lose weight. She can be down right hurtful and overly dramatic so when I visit, I can't stay for very long because I get annoyed with her.


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## specwar (Apr 14, 2011)

We are the hardest on the ones we love. Mostly because we take advantage of the safety that we feel with the loved one. One tactic that worked well for me was to pull the emotion out of my discussion. For example if your mom says something that hurt I would ask (later)( Why are you so critical of me with regards to bla bla) Are you trying to intentionally degrade me? And stand there as if you are asking where the gas station is. This throws many people off because most of the time they are used to reacting to the emotion in your voice or face. 

I have found that this has the effect of making them feel like they are on the spot and they may surprise you and calm down and cut to the point of what bothers them the most or maybe even the underlying cause of why they concern themselves with your business so much. 

You may also be dealing with somebody who needs drama in their life because they don't really have anything else (hobby) and so they get fullfillment with the highs and lows of drama. Lets all of us admit that a balanced well adjusted life to the casual bystander is boring to watch. There are few fights and some say a lack of passion. I choose to concentrat on the joy I get from my relationships and I purge and don't focus on the bad. If somebody offends me I tell them that I don't agree with that because of bla bla and if they get upset about it I remind them that (it is ok that we disagree) we all don't have to agree on everything.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

Ah mothers. When they inflict pain on us, even if it is not intentional, leaves scars that never heal. Your mother sounds like a person who likes to complain just to complain. Like she isn't happy unless she is miserable. Don't you wish you could say MOM, DON'T CALL ME UNLESS YOU ARE IN A GOOD MOOD, STOP COMPLAINING AND JUST TALK TO ME. You could never get away with that. The drama queen will either yell, most likely cry, and you will never hear the end of it. They will feel attacked. Drama queens are hard to reason with, they just don't see themselves as others see them. Another thing about drama queens is they can't stand to be around other drama queens, because they are drama queens. That's how you know they have no self-reflection skills and you have to bite your tongue. It's a shame because the visits get shorter and shorter as your tolerance for this grows smaller and smaller. Hang in there!


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## smith9800 (Mar 7, 2012)

IF seems that your mother complaints because she wants to. We see people, who have problem of saying anything without any reason. You mother seems one of them. To solve this issue, talk to your mom and tell her that she is not understanding you.


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## capricorngirl_99 (Feb 7, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> Ah mothers. When they inflict pain on us, even if it is not intentional, leaves scars that never heal. Your mother sounds like a person who likes to complain just to complain. Like she isn't happy unless she is miserable. Don't you wish you could say MOM, DON'T CALL ME UNLESS YOU ARE IN A GOOD MOOD, STOP COMPLAINING AND JUST TALK TO ME. You could never get away with that. The drama queen will either yell, most likely cry, and you will never hear the end of it. They will feel attacked. Drama queens are hard to reason with, they just don't see themselves as others see them. Another thing about drama queens is they can't stand to be around other drama queens, because they are drama queens. That's how you know they have no self-reflection skills and you have to bite your tongue. It's a shame because the visits get shorter and shorter as your tolerance for this grows smaller and smaller. Hang in there!


I love her so much, but she gets annoying a lot. And she is exactly the way you describe her. She thinks that she doesn't cause ANY trouble and that she keeps to herself, when really she doesn't. She always pitches a colossal fit when things don't go her way. Long story short, I got upset about not getting a job I wanted, and she got really mad because I didn't call and tell her what was going on. I actually have a post about it on this forum (see Mother Jealous of Future Mother in Law) I love her, but she can pitch a fit like no other. She thinks that she has to talk to me at least 4 times PER DAY, which can get annoying and can be pointless.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Nobody can annoy you without your permission. 

Just say no. Life is too short to have to listen to a compulsive complainer 4 times a day even if it is your own mother.

"I'm sorry mom that you are having a bad day but I am tired of listening to you complain. From now on I will listen to you vent for XX minutes a day and then I will hang up if you continue."

Set the boundary and stop this nonsense.

I've done this with my parents, my sister, friends, and I have to say my life is much happier now that I refuse to be the complaint department. LOL


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

HA! Puppies are like babies! That's why we adopted our dog when he was 4 

Just tell your mom to shut up about it. SHE chose to get a puppy. It won't be like this forever.


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## capricorngirl_99 (Feb 7, 2012)

that_girl said:


> HA! Puppies are like babies! That's why we adopted our dog when he was 4
> 
> Just tell your mom to shut up about it. SHE chose to get a puppy. It won't be like this forever.


Yeah. We adopted our dog too after it's puppy years. Anyway, she got too stressed over the dog and she ended up giving it to my future mother in law, AFTER paying a buttload of money for that dog. I don't understand her. Anyway, it's probably better off here without her crazy manic influences.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

capricorngirl_99 said:


> She thinks that she has to talk to me at least 4 times PER DAY, which can get annoying and can be pointless.


Oh my God, my mom was the same. My husband used to wonder when I was gonna cut the apron strings. I think it got on his nerves more than mine way back when. Now, I am taking a break from all of my crazy Hungarian family and the quiet is priceless!


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

I am glad to hear that your mom gave the puppy away. I am a HUGE animal lover, and it's better for the puppy. Puppies are the cutest thing on this earth (IMO) but they DO NOT listen right away and that can drive the calmest person nuts. Puppies need patience and I am glad your mother realized this.


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