# It's over



## magmag (Dec 2, 2009)

Well h told me last night that it's over. He "wants his life back". I just don't know where to go from here. I love him so much. We have 2 wonderful kids that are going to suffer. 
I don't want to be a single mother, I don't want a life without him. Nothing I do is right in his eyes though. 

I hate this and I don't know how I'm going to do it.


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## 63Vino (Dec 23, 2009)

HI Magmag,
Strange comment that he wants his life back. You were not taking it form him i assume.

No matter what happens from here, you have to know that you will be fine and so will your kids. 
Hoping that you both tried to work it out before getting here, and if you didnt then try to get him there.

If he really is determined to go, thats his choice, from there you have to find your direction. You are a separate person, your husband nor your marriage defines who you are. So now your life circumstance may be different, but that does not change you. You know?

Get some support via counseling, friends etc. You'll be fine no matter what.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

magmag,

so sorry your husband has made this decision, You will be fine and so will the kids, it will just take a bit of time getting used to the idea.
you can only worry about you and your kids. you can't control what he thinks or does.
Just be the best you can be and show the kids your inner strength, think about what you have to do for you and don't worry about him anymore.
no one knows what the future holds for sure, look at this as an opportunity to find a better life and to work on yourself.
post here for support, stay close to your family and in time it won't feel so bad anymore....
good luck


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## noideato20 (Oct 27, 2009)

So sorry mag. I know you are hurting right now. I dont know the details of the situation but it doesnt matter losing your partner is painful period. There are alot of us on here in different stages of the process so just know you arnt alone and it is possible to get through it. Try to be busy with your kiddos and keep posting when you need to vent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SoxMunkey (Jan 1, 2010)

noideato20 said:


> So sorry mag. I know you are hurting right now. I dont know the details of the situation but it doesnt matter losing your partner is painful period. There are alot of us on here in different stages of the process so just know you arnt alone and it is possible to get through it. Try to be busy with your kiddos and keep posting when you need to vent.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm also sorry to hear about this. No matter how long a couple has been together, this is never anything easy to deal with. This may be a good time to prepare yourself for what is about to come. You're already taking enough hits... now you have to look out for what comes next.

I wish you all the very best. Keep posting!


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## Notaclue (Jan 1, 2010)

I'm so sorry magmag, I don't know what to say other than to echo that you have come to the right place and we are here to listen and help. There are a lot of wise people on this site that will give you great advice. As Noidea and DS have said keep posting, it really helps a lot.


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## magmag (Dec 2, 2009)

Well, we finally calmed down enough to talk this morning. I proposed that instead of saying it's over right now to try something else. I said that he should get a 6 month lease on an apartment. In that 6 months we will commit to "dating" at least once every other week other than that we are both free to live as if we are single. He can have the kids every other weekend, etc as if we were divorced. 
At the end of the 6 months we can then sit down and decide if that's what we really want. 
Hopefully it will help us, it can't hurt. 
At least then we won't be full of such tension, etc and can be calmer and more rational about things.
I'll let you all know how it goes.


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## SoxMunkey (Jan 1, 2010)

magmag said:


> Well, we finally calmed down enough to talk this morning. I proposed that instead of saying it's over right now to try something else. I said that he should get a 6 month lease on an apartment. In that 6 months we will commit to "dating" at least once every other week other than that we are both free to live as if we are single. He can have the kids every other weekend, etc as if we were divorced.
> At the end of the 6 months we can then sit down and decide if that's what we really want.
> Hopefully it will help us, it can't hurt.
> At least then we won't be full of such tension, etc and can be calmer and more rational about things.
> I'll let you all know how it goes.


Sounds like a plan! I can't wait to read up on what happens. I'm keeping my fingers crossed... for the both of you.


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## findingpeace (Mar 14, 2009)

I like the plan the only thing i dont agree with is seeing other people I think i would try to agree not to see other people once another person gets involved let me tell you it makes things twice as complicated and may just end up being the arrow that kills your marriage trust me i know this because i have expeinced just that and if your husband started to see someone else it would hurt you very much and more pain isnt better it is worse .... Good Luck


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## magmag (Dec 2, 2009)

I don't really like the seeing other people either but he's already been having and EA with an old friend of his (who is also married) so I know how it hurts. I'm just really hoping in this that he will see that maybe the grass is not greener. Maybe he will see that it is, maybe I will see that it is.


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## SoxMunkey (Jan 1, 2010)

magmag said:


> I don't really like the seeing other people either but he's already been having and EA with an old friend of his (who is also married) so I know how it hurts. I'm just really hoping in this that he will see that maybe the grass is not greener. Maybe he will see that it is, maybe I will see that it is.


Maybe it is for he best that he moves out, especially if he is with someone who is married and living in the same home. That is a situation that can turn out to be extremely volatile. If her spouse catches on, then who knows what nasty turn all of this could take. 

This is an opportunity for you to put some distance between yourself and him and protect your children. I can feel that you love your husband very much, but that love isn't going to stop him right now from sleeping with this "friend". He may learn sooner than later that the grass isn't greener on the other side!

Watch out for yourself and your children.


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