# Help!!!



## Sharkbite18 (Jan 23, 2018)

So my long-term mate and I have been dating for about 7 years. We took a break about a year and a half ago and then we got back together. During that break he met an older woman who had a family and a husband. They would meet up and have sex. Well when he and I got back together he stated he tried to stop seeing her and she originally obliged but wanted to start seeing him again and so he did. He had sex with her a few times and now the woman is stating she’s pregnant by him. She doesn’t believe it’s her husbands because of a steroid issue and him being sterile yet they have a 9-year-old son. I’ve spoke to this woman and she says she’s in love with my mate and believe to be having his son and she’s even been combative about the entire situation. My mate says that it’s a 50/50 percent chance that it may be his or the husbands. Before you all ask, yes I was tested for STDs and no I don’t have any. I had a whole entire panel done. 

The icing to the cake is that’s I’m pregnant too, with our second kid. 

Help me! I’m lost and confused. I’ve been so sad and depressed and all I can do is pray for my unborn kid to be okay and for my mental state to remain in tact. This all hurts so bad. I’ve been faithful and true to him. We have lovely family and friends and a beautiful home. We are truly blessed. I don’t understand why he would do something like this. 

Yes I still love him, because you can’t just turn love off. I just don’t think that should the kid be his, I’m willing to salvage our relationship. Even with his second unborn kid I’m carrying and the one living. If the kid isn’t his then maybe we could pray about things. I just can’t sit and watch him take care of another kid while taking care of my two. That child if his, will be a constant reminder of his deceit towards myself and his children with me. No, we’ve never had a bad relationship. 

This is the worst feeling in the world! I can’t stop thinking about this situation or crying. 

What would you do??!!


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

I'd leave. You're not even married, so it's easy to simply make arrangements, pack up, and walk out.

However, you sound like you want to try to salvage your relationship if the child isn't his. In that case, at 10 weeks gestation she can have a blood sample taken, the baby's DNA can be separated from her blood, and a paternity test can be done with no risk to mother or fetus. You'll have to pay for the test, and get her to agree, but you won't have to wait until after the birth to find out who the father is.

Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity Test on Maternal Blood | PRENATAL GENETICS CENTER


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

1. Dump him.

2. Tell the other woman’s husband that his wife has been cheating with your boyfriend, and is likely pregnant with his child as a result.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Dump this *******.You aren’t going to have much of a life with him when he is paying child support to another woman for eighteen years.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

I don’t think she will dump him or inform the other BS. 

Sharkbite18 you have to get strong and start thinking about your kids. You will have to fight for them.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> 1. Dump him.
> 
> 2. Tell the other woman’s husband that his wife has been cheating with your boyfriend, and is likely pregnant with his child as a result.


THIS^
You cannot have another man raise a child that is likely not his to save your boyfriends feelings. IT IS NOT RIGHT!
If you do the right thing, good things will come your way.


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## Maxwedge 413 (Apr 16, 2014)

As said above -
*Paternity Test
*Dump him regardless of the results
*Contact the other husband


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Andy1001 said:


> Dump this *******.You aren’t going to have much of a life with him when he is paying child support to another woman for eighteen years.


Umm, considering he knocked up one woman already there's nothing to say he won't do it again. So, he could end up paying child support for multiple other children to multiple other women.

I am the product of an extramarital affair. My father was married and stayed that way. He also had twin sons born to a mistress shortly before or after I was, I can't remember which now. And he had an older son also born to a mistress. Plus 4 or 5 sons with his wife. This was back before DNA testing and the child support system we currently know was established, so my bio-fathers drama was personal in nature and didn't effect his finances. Now he'd be made to pay support for all his extramarital kids and his legitimate family would suffer for it.

In my state, she who files for support first gets the biggest slice of the pie. Every child support case is set based on income and necessary expenditure (rent, utilities, and any legal obligations), taking into account child support being paid. In other words, Baby Momma #1 gets more support than Baby Momma #2, who gets more support than Baby Momma #3. If I were @Sharkbite18, I'd be filing for child support asap.


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## Sharkbite18 (Jan 23, 2018)

MJJEAN said:


> I'd leave. You're not even married, so it's easy to simply make arrangements, pack up, and walk out.
> 
> However, you sound like you want to try to salvage your relationship if the child isn't his. In that case, at 10 weeks gestation she can have a blood sample taken, the baby's DNA can be separated from her blood, and a paternity test can be done with no risk to mother or fetus. You'll have to pay for the test, and get her to agree, but you won't have to wait until after the birth to find out who the father is.
> 
> ...


Her husband is supposedly aware and they were going to get it done but I believe coat for in the way.


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## Sharkbite18 (Jan 23, 2018)

GusPolinski said:


> 1. Dump him.
> 
> 2. Tell the other woman’s husband that his wife has been cheating with your boyfriend, and is likely pregnant with his child as a result.


I’m thinking of doing number one! I don’t think I can stomach the fact of him having a child with someone else especially since he was with me when it happened! 

The husband is aware and have kicked her from their home. Her and the other two kids!


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## Sharkbite18 (Jan 23, 2018)

Andy1001 said:


> Dump this *******.You aren’t going to have much of a life with him when he is paying child support to another woman for eighteen years.


Agreed!


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## Sharkbite18 (Jan 23, 2018)

ABHale said:


> I don’t think she will dump him or inform the other BS.
> 
> Sharkbite18 you have to get strong and start thinking about your kids. You will have to fight for them.


You don’t know what I would do. You don’t know me! Lol! As stated to another person in a reply the husband is aware of the situation and has kicked her out of their home. 

I am aware that I just be strong for my children.


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## Sharkbite18 (Jan 23, 2018)

StillSearching said:


> GusPolinski said:
> 
> 
> > 1. Dump him.
> ...


I wouldn’t have another man take care of anything. I would simply step back so that he can do what he has to do without me in the situation. This is a interracial pregnancy, so they will more than likely be able to tell whether the child is all Hispanic (the husband) or half-black (my boyfriend). The mother is Hispanic as well. Whether it looks however, I still believe a DNA test should be performed.


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## Sharkbite18 (Jan 23, 2018)

MJJEAN said:


> Andy1001 said:
> 
> 
> > Dump this *******.You aren’t going to have much of a life with him when he is paying child support to another woman for eighteen years.
> ...


Trust me I’ll be filing!


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Sharkbite18 said:


> Her husband is supposedly aware and they were going to get it done but I believe coat for in the way.


If she and her husband do the test and the baby isn't his, that doesn't prove it is your SO's. You'd need a test for him, too, to confirm or rule out him being the father.

Total aside, my exH was hauled into court for a paternity test. The Baby Momma had 6...yes, 6...other men brought in for testing at the same time. ExH won the sperm lottery and it was his kid, but the point is that there is nothing to say she's only been with her H and your SO. There could be many more possible Baby Daddies out there.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

You do have some fight in you. :grin2:

It is good to see. Some women won’t stand up for themselves or kids. Your first post was a little um weak. I guess just the I can’t really believe this is actually happening again coming through. 

Their are those on here that can help in this situation. Just let us know what your intentions are. 

Take care


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