# Stuck between a rock and a hard place



## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

Hello All,

You can call me D, I’m 30, fiancé is 39. Let me start by saying I enjoy the forums and a lot of you all seem to have great advice. I met with my DB coach for the first time this week and she was great. First, I'm going to give you some background on my situation. I've been with my fiance for 7 years. We met online and I left everything to come to be with her, 800 miles away. Things were great at first, my fiance was on the table to have gastric bypass surgery and we found out she was pregnant. We have a beautiful 6 year old daughter now. She is wonderful and the light of my life. We've had lots of problems throughout our tenure together. Lies, deception, disrespect and the list goes on. I've also been working lots of hours, and by lots of hours I mean 70+ hours a week, I'm a software engineer and the job requires it. Most of the problems were initiated by me. I'm not good at relationships and realize I'm probably the reason for everything that's happening now. I didn’t give her any attention whatsoever.

Flash back two weeks ago. I thought things were going well, she had stopped nagging me so much. We were having sex regularly and the sex was fantastic. She had started going tanning, mind you she has lost 140 lbs after her bypass surgery and I've always thought she was sexy, I've never said a word to her about her weight even when she was 140 lbs heavier. I tell her she's beautiful all the time. She also went and got her nose pierced and was quite proud to show her pictures on FB. Then one night, she said I'm going out, wouldn't tell me where she was going. Curiousity got the best of me and I checked her phone records because her cell phone is on my plan. She had been calling a strange number every night when she left to go tanning. This number was in TX, I also noticed the usage on her cell phone was absolutely crazy. She had went from averaging 100 texts a month to well over 5000 for the current month. I was full or rage, angry and confronted her then told her to get the "f" out. We talked later that night and she assured me, he was a friend that she had always kept in contact with. We figured things out for the night and I told her I was ok with it. Fast forward a few days, curiousity strikes again. I check her Email account, that I acquired with a keylogger on the computer. They had been having chats all day at work. With references to sexual dreams about one another, hugs, squeezes, I've missed you so much, you make me smile stuff. I confronted her that afternoon. She's furious and says I illegally accessed her account. I'm reading too much into it. I break down again and accept her explanation and let things go for a few days. She says she needs to work on our relationship just as much as I do. Ok, we agree about something. She changes her email password the next day. She puts a pw on her phone. Says she will not stop talking to friends just because I want her too. Had the nerve to tell me that she talked to him, and determined that she wasn't going to complicate things with him; (this time) they have history, they would just stay friends forever and keep in contact.

We went down to her Dad's house the next day, who I adore. We have a very good relationship. The whole time we were at her Dad's house she was texting this guy. I mean nonstop for 6 hours. I break down crying in the bed that night, she says she can't take this, I'm like a yoyo. One minute I'm ok, the next I'm freaking out. This is true, I've never felt these emotions before. I didn't know how to react. I apologize again, things go okay for a few days. I'm still checking her records and she's contacting him regularly and texting him hundreds of times a day. She came home from work Tuesday night and I blow up. I said, it's either stop talking to this "friend" and work on us or get her stuff and get out. My neighbor is a police officer, so I let her know I was going next door to talk to her. My neighbor says I would have to get her evicted. My name is the only one on the house, she says that we are common law married and I would have to evict her. Okay, not the answer I wanted. I come back to the house, I say, I will not enable you to talk to this home-wrecker, (she says we had issues and he is nothing to do with it) I'm disconnecting your cell phone and you need to leave as soon as possible. I pick up my phone and call our cell provider to disconnect her line. She loses it, freaks out, calls 911. I had 4 cops at my house asking me questions. I tell them what's going on, they speak to her, speak to me and determine no crime was committed. They tell me to hang in there. She tells the police, I'm acting irrational and that she's afraid to be alone with me without a phone. The house phone was not going to be disconnected. She could have used that. We argue back and forth even after the police leave. She mentions that I'm the only one crazy enough to stay with her for 7 years, I'm the longest relationship she's ever had. 

She told me the following day she talked to her Dad, told him what’s going on. “He said we really like him, a lot. (referring to me) If you need money or a new phone, or need anything call me. “ She told me how, there was nothing going on with this friend and that he lives a different lifestyle which she would not have our daughter around. Ok, thanks for the info. I tell her, she can talk to him if she wants, the way I’ve treated her for the past several years, she has a right to do whatever she wants. I’m attempting my 180. Which is reacting to her talking to this fool, to no reaction at all.

I take calls and texts from her the next day that are mostly freak outs and rude comments. I'm trying now after talking with my DB coach, to stop checking on her all the time. Hard commitment, I check here and there, but I’ve been great about not checking since Thursday. I don’t want to know, it hurts too much. Thursday evening, my daughter had a popsicle social at her school to meet her new 1st grade teacher. My fiancé goes but rides in a separate vehicle. She’s texting this guy at the freaking school, she says are you watching her? I’m going to go. I said ok, see you later. She goes tanning to talk to her friend. I haven’t checked records to make sure as I’m trying to stop that. When we get home, she’s waiting here, she stopped at the store and got me one of my favorite rootbeers. Why???? I stay cheery and she sits on the couch and pouts then finally retreats to the bedroom and locks the door. She would not respond to my daughter when she knocked and asked her questions. Which really p’d me off. Finally talked to her later that night, she closed our joint checking, gave me 200 to open my own checking account. I slept on the couch, the next morning, she wanted her money back. I gave it to her. Who is the yo-yo now?

Yesterday before work, she asks me to put lotion on her back, I do. She suggests that my daughter go to her Grandmother’s for the weekend, this weekend so we can talk. I agree, reluctantly. My wife is a paralegal and ultimately, thinks she has me trumped on everything. So I’m worried about seeing my daughter again and her being removed from the family home, since she’s at my fiance’s parents house (not her Dad that I like). I’m still paranoid and hope she comes home tomorrow. Last night, I sat there and rubbed her feet through all the rude and evil comments. I tried to take her to dinner, she didn’t feel like going. The whole time I was rubbing her feet, she was texting him. She takes her phone wherever she goes, including the bathroom, places it face down on her chest, when she’s laying down, face down on the table when she puts it down. She’s like a crack addict. She also tells me she’s thinking of getting a tattoo, mind you, I’ve heard for the past 7 years how disgusting they are. The OM just got a new tattoo I saw on FB. Piercings, tattoos? Who is this woman? Anyway, she’s talking about leaving again, says she’s getting a new car, a new iPad. I tell her she can stay here as long as she needs. Wonders where she’ll move to that will let her have her dog. I have not begged her to stay once, and I refuse to. I’m trying to be as nice as possible without begging or acting needy. I fought back tears most of the day yesterday. 

I check my Instagram (for those who don’t know, people post their photographs there) she has tons of likes and comments from OM, including on our daughter which makes me furious. I’m at a crossroads here, I know I need to get a life. Was thinking of going out tonight and enjoying myself, but I have no money. My paycheck is floating since she closed her account. What do you guys suggest? Is it over you think? I have a hard time doing a 180 that’s not talking to her because my attention neglect is what got us here. I’m thinking my 180 should be talking to her and giving her attention since I hadn’t done that before. Any advice?

Thanks,
D


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

I'd also like to add that since i bought her the phone and she's on my plan. I took the cell phone from her table. Took it downstairs to connect to itunes to make a backup, I have never saw anyone have a meltdown like she did.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

You need to move this to the dealing with infidelity section. 
She's having an emotional affair. Where does the other guy live? 
And yes it is like crack, they get a hit of dopamine from talking to their EA partner.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

He lives in Texas. I know for a fact they used to have phone sex before I was with her.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

You can't nice your way out of this.

Stop the emotional torture by tolorating her crap, if you have to go "visit" someone for awhile so you can clear your head and get your paycheck and make a plan.

Until your chick sees some real consequences from you, she will continue. So get your butt down to a lawyers and the court house and start doing the foot work to find your best options in showing your wayward wife what she is about to lose.

You will know if its working when she gets pissed off, see you we're on a roll but got stomped on when she freaked....once you started make her affair inconvienent she will get upset that was good.

So protect your marriage by showing your wayward wife the tough love and condidence that you are willing to let her go.

She has your number dude...get it?

Until you get her to seconded guess her choices she will continue.


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

Her texts are being blocked as we speak, ready for a meltdown? I'm also turning the cell phone completely off when my daughter gets home. Since she's afraid to be around me, she can still make calls and if she calls him it's documented.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

Well they aren't married yet. So courthouse really has nothing to do with it other than child visitation and support. 
I would consult a lawyer about protecting yourself in terms of your child. 
You have a big age gap and I can tell you I'm 40 and three years older than my h, and sometimes even that small gap makes me feel insecure or like I'm too old. I don't know if that is part of her issue but it doesn't matter.
If they have had phone sex before I would bet they are doing it now. 
You might want to clue your police officer neighbor into what is going on just kind of casually do that if your F tries to call the police again the neighbor can put in a good word for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

She's definitely insecure, she has said maybe the age difference is too much. But that's beside the point. She's been blocked for an hour. How much longer before the full blown meltdown or running to the PC to talk to him?


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

I packed her things in the living room and put them in a box. She saw it and said I was a piece of work and started bawling. Left the room, still hates me.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> I packed her things in the living room and put them in a box. She saw it and said I was a piece of work and started bawling. Left the room, still hates me.


She hates you because you will not help her have an EA and maybe phone sex again with a man in tx? Some one is not thinking right.


Seems you have a choice here. You can allow her to treat you like a door mat or you can endure the pain for a few weeks and then get on with your life.

*three cheers for you for not allowing someone to disrespct you and treat you like a dirty dish rag! *


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Mr Blunt said:


> *Three cheers for you for not allowing someone to disrespct you and treat you like a dirty dish rag! *


Yet he still will rub her feet and allow her to text OM the whole time? :scratchhead:

One thing I will say is that you are acting a little juvenile by blocking her phone and watching her reactions. Blocking her phone is a waste of time, there are ways around, you should know.

She is texting another man because _you_ are not meeting her emotional needs in the relationship. This OM is a symptom of problems in your relationship. I sense a huge gap in communication between the two of you that must be bridged in order for anything constructive to happen between the two of you. Quit being a doormat and playing the childish games. You need to man up and start to TALK to her about the problems in your relationship and get to the root cause. You admit that you have been neglecting her in the past, that is a good start. Don't treat the symtoms, find and treat the underlying causes.

You could probably benefit from some IC to help you develop skills that would help you communicate in your relationship.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> *Originally Posted by Mr Blunt *
> Three cheers for you for not allowing someone to disrespct you and treat you like a dirty dish rag!
> 
> 
> ...





> *Reply by C3156
> Yet he still will rub her feet and allow her to text OM the whole time? *


OP, is the above quote by C3156 true? *If it is then I over looked that part of your post and you are an enabler! *

OP, make up your mind. If you need to meet her emotional needs then get with it! Tell her that you have failed at meeting her emotional needs and you are going to improve immediatly. Also tell her that the contact with the other man is to stop immediately. If she disagrees then grow a backbone and leave her and start another life.


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

Ok, so I disconnected her phone. Told her to get her own. Then she played the "I can't believe you'd let me be without a phone when I have our daughter." card. I reconnected her phone. I saw her FB messages where she told OM all about me disconnecting her phone, when it was reconnected she said it was "safe" to text her again.

She also told OM that I had a lot of growing up to do. We'd always have to get along for our daughter, she was at peace with it. He asked her if she wanted to spoon? She said yes. They're talking even more frequently now and she says that she will leave before she gives her friends up again. She said that me invading her privacy is ridiculous and it's pissing her off. That If I keep it up, I'm going to make her do something bad. It's just harmless flirting she says. But with me invading her privacy, she may just do something. She said I treated her like **** for 7 years, I guess it's her turn now. I said you're having diarrhea all over me. She told me yesterday she couldn't text she was busy at work, yet had time to text him 143 times. And talk to him 40 minutes on the way home from work.

I confronted her again last night and said I cannot live like this. She said it's my "OCD" mind, I'm blowing things way out of proportion. She also makes it a point to have sex with me every night. Of course I do it, I want her to be mine and only mine.

It doesn't matter what I say to her anymore, she thinks she has me buffaloed, she can have her cake and eat it too. I'm madly in love with her and would never kick her out. She has nowhere to go, and her family will not approve of her behavior. I've set up an appointment with an attorney for Friday. I'm going to take the first steps to evict her and get custody of our daughter. When I tell her, I'm telling her her phone is disconnected as well and that's all there is to it.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

What's a "DB Coach?"

I'm glad you never married her - too many unresolved issues.

She found someone else. Yes it hurts like Hell but in time, you will heal from your broken heart.

She is also not a good Mother (right now). Please don't get defensive about this statement. I'm a Mother & would never behave like she does.

Good luck.


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## Archon (Jul 13, 2012)

She's definitely manipulating your heart strings and one mean, spiteful woman. Look over your own posts. She obviously has no love for you anymore and is just using you as a punching bag. She is being emotionally abusive, which is just as destructive as physical abuse. She's also trying to keep you under control so the money keeps coming in. Time to shoot the golden goose...

Time and time again you put your foot down to stop her behavior and she turns it around on you. *The key is you have to stick to your guns!* Don't let her make you feel like the one in the wrong. You _know_ she's having a massive EA with this OM and she is brazen enough to not even hide it from you! She's gotta be stopped. She wants this OM, let _him_ pay for her cell phone! You're doing the right thing by talking to a lawyer. Don't let her being a paralegal scare you. She's not a lawyer and even if she were, that doesn't mean you can't get fair representation.

Remember - you have a right to be happy in life and that means a life with someone who loves and respects you for who you are and won't walk over you like a doormat.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Why did you reconnect the phone? Really? Stop caving to her, take your balls back and start exposing her affair, file for a legal separation (common law I believe can do this). Open an account for your paycheck, file for custody and start blowing this affair out of the water.

Be a man and stand up for yourself.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Your wife is having an affair plain and simple. I bet she never felt like the OM would want her all those years she was fat, but now that's she has slimmed down she sees herself as capable of getting him. Meanwhile she sees you as someone who accepted her when she was obese and she doesn't view your sex rank as high enough to interest her.

You need to up your sex rank ASAP.

You also need to stop giving in and letting her cower you into giving in.

You stopped the cell phone. Good job. You gave it back...horrible choice.

You let her take the bedroom and lock you out.

You said don't talk to him, she complained, you relented.

Dude this guy is having an emotional affair with your fiancé.

Get a copy of More Than Just Friends and hand it to her.

Get yourself a copy of no more mr.nice guy and Married Mans Sex Life.

Read both and get going on the MAP.

Next, talk to a lawyer and find your options.

Then talk to her father and explain the situation and use the Emtional Affair words. Ask that he doesn't get her a phone so as not to help the affair. Explain they used to have phone sex and in fact they may be again,

Btw.. Lots of people care for kids without a cell phone. Besides she uses the phone so much to text the OM so much she is not giving care and attention to the child.

Next, declare him or me and do not back down. He is an ex she had phone sex with. Ex sex partners have no place in a marriage. He goes.

Does he have a wife / gf if so alert them of the affair.

Now here is where you use you visit to a lawyer: the kid does not leave the state without your permission, also talk to the lawyer about custody options.

You need to play hardball here and you need to state your terms and strict to them.

You can't negotiate with a cheater.

You should also see about putting a VAR in her car under the seat to hear when she calls him.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Btw every time you backdown she looses more respect and more attraction for you.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Relationships very often do not survive gastric surgery. While you may loved her large and loved her small. She likey didn't love herself large and views you as having either settled for the big her or that there is something wrong with you liking the big her.

She lived for so long bring big and thinking her options in men were limited because of it. Now she's feeling more confident and that she commands a higher price in terms of man.

So if you want to stay with her you have a lot of work to do.


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

Heh. I bought a voice activated recorder to put in her vehicle tomorrow. I'm in a really bad mood. She has time to text him at my daughter's cheerleading practice that she's supposed to help coach. She's starting to get rude again.

This guy she's talking to is fat and ugly. I on the other hand, am not. Have been told by more than one person that I'm much better looking than him.:scratchhead:


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

*If you do not grow some balls soon you will become a eunuch

You are starting to look like a door mat*


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

So she left the room, I picked up the phone and read disgusting texts about how they used to fall asleep together on the phone and he loves it when she whispers, etc. 

I laid it down, this ends now or her Dad, and her whole family gets her text logs. She can explain this to our daughter when she gets older. She played tough until she realized I was not backing down. Saying I've neglected her for 7 years. I still didn't back down. I told her I had an appointment with an attorney on Friday to have her evicted. One more call or text to OM and her phone was done.

I told her I will not allow this to continue for one more second. She will not **** on me under my own roof. She broke down and said she has a connection with him, like shes known him for years. I said it's an addiction not a connection. She said it was going to be so hard to stop. Then she goes back to I don't think I can be with you anymore. I can't do it. You've hurt me too much. I said you'll have to make that decision, but i will not do is allow you to be disrespectful to me or my daughter for one more second. 

No calls this morning and she usually calls him on the way to work. There's a voice recorder in her car if she decides to buy a prepaid.

I think I got my sack back. I'm absolutely dead serious and will not back down.


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

I also told her I cannot try to fill the void he was filling for her while it's still going on. If she wants my 100% effort, this must end.


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

Update Today: met with attorney got eviction papers drawn up. I'm keeping my daughter at the family home.

Exposed affair to her Father and Stepmother. They have my back and are furious. Couldn't believe that's what she was doing on her phone the whole time we were at their house. SAid he would have busted the damn thing, wants to go to Texas and kick OM's ass. Told me to throw her ass out. He wouldn't put up with it, didn't expect me to. I was always welcome at his house. I told him the same.

Couldn't believe she'd do to me what her Mom did to him, said he is heartbroken. Also said she needs her head examined, let her come live with me and pull that ****.

Feeling good. Have her on Voice Recorder talkking to OM, have a log of her texts and chats. Le'go!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

If you own the cell account can you ave his number blocked on it?

Dint tell her that you did it btw.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

The other trick is to get her phone and repace his number with yours.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

FINALLY! You got your balls back and are being a man. My respect levels for you went from nil to OMFG he's the man.

Keep it up, don't back down. She is still going to fight you but keep it up.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> The other trick is to get her phone and repace his number with yours.


Where'd my like button go for you... it's missing (a glitch I've noticed before for many users and posts).

YES! :smthumbup:


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

CantePe said:


> Where'd my like button go for you... it's missing (a glitch I've noticed before for many users and posts).
> 
> YES! :smthumbup:


I've noticed that when you post, that new posts that appear the page refresh right after your post, the like button doesn't appear. Just to a page reload and you'll see it (F5 on windows )


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

Already tried to block his number, he texts from work and they talk on Facebook or GTalk, she changes the pw daily. Usually easy to guess though. Her Dad said she would just go buy another phone if you cut hers off. At least you have a log this way. He's right. Let her talk it up, new billing cycle started 3 days ago, already has 765 texts. I told her Dad she has texted him 75 times since we've been on the phone, we were on the phone an hour. He said how the hell does she get her work done?!?!? I said I have no idea. She doesn't. 

Thinking about sending letters to both her and OM's employer about their productivity.

I'm not done with her yet. She's going to look like a lousy **** when I'm done. You can't do this and expect no consequences. Do I still love her? Absolutely. But this is DONE today.


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

So I turned her phone off and said she will not text in this house. I blocked her data on her phone and his numbers from calling. I also changed her WiFi password told her to go get a new phone so I could lock her out. 

She won't leave, says this is her house. But my name is the only one on it. Says she doesn't care if I have her audio messages, texts, the judge will not care. Also says its illegal and shes going to have put me in prison for touching her on the arm. She would have me hauled off to prison in front of my 6 year old in order to keep talking to this guy. I'm watching her type to him in Facebook now. She doesn't know her Dad knows. So I hope she calls him for "refuge."


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

I also told her if she wants to talk to him to leave. She will not disrespect me or my daughter in my house. I will not put up with it.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Get a VAR and carry it on you at all times.

If she threatens to call the cops offer to make the call for her - the one who does the reporting is the one the cops let stay, the other party is asked to leave to cool down 

Keep her dad in the loop on your actions and ask his support.

oh, and good job on finding your strength!


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

Went to the fair last night, for some reason, she wanted to go. She texted him the whole time. My daughter is pissed at her and she's 6, she says, "I dont want Mama to go anymore, she just texts that boy the whole time."

We went school shopping today, she wanted to go. I said, you'd just text him the whole time, why do you want to go? She asked me if it was going to be like this? I said like what? My daughter doesn't want to do anything with me. I have been sleeping on the couch. She said I think I need to move upstairs, I said Thank God.

She said, I have a cheerleading coaches meeting tonight, (she helps because my daughter is in cheerleading). She said, I'm not going to go, I think I'm going to quit. I wont have a place to come home to. I said not a word. She said Ok, ignore me, and retreated to the bedroom.

Then she says, I may end up in a homeless shelter, I said whatever, I really don't give a **** where you go as long as its not here. She said you're such an *******. I said thanks and have avoided her and will not speak to her about anything but my daughter.


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

I also want to add, that his approach is empowering, you take your balls back and your confidence with it. It puts you back in control, it's your wife, your house and you wont be treated this way. If they want to continue, they can pack their crap and hit the road, hell, you'll even pack it for them. 

I've stopped obsessing about what' she's doing, I've caught up on a lot of work today that I've missed over the past few weeks obsessing about her. I feel like a man. So if you're letting someone walk all over you. Go away from her, not toward her. Get your stones back and tell her to hit the road!!


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Good for you. Keep it up. 

How is she texting, didn't you turn the phone service off?


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

That approach did not work as she would have just bought another one. I gave her back all her capabilities and told her I didn't give a rats @$$. I already filled out the migration papers to get her off my account tomorrow.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Does she work? It not then how can she pay for a new phone, especially after youve told the father why she wants it.


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

She has a job, although not a good paying one. She may be able to afford to rent a room somewhere. Child Support is going to be expensive too.


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## HavingAHardTime (Aug 4, 2012)

So since I talked to you guys last, she bought a 30,000 dollar car even though she knew she may be going through eviction. Makes 45k a year, which I do not know how she can afford the car and all her living expenses on her salary. The affair did nothing but grow more intense. She bought a "burner" cell phone. She lied to me repeatedly and told me she didn't have one after I saw the charger in the wall and my 6 year old told me she had a new black phone she was using at cheerleading practice. I read everything. Apparently, they were planning to meet soon, On August 30, she said, "I have to get some things settled before we meet." He told her he was never going to stop hugging her when they met. Out of all I have read, the extent of the betrayal is just unbelievable. I wanna puke when I look at her.

So I sent OM a message on Facebook, see below. She kind of smiled about it when I told her.

She's now trying to prove me as an unfit parent, I slept in this morning and my daughter was late for school, while she was up the whole time. She obviously cares more about me looking bad than my daughter getting to school on time. She said Daddy can't get out of bed. 

I'm a liar and I lied to OM to make him stop talking to her. I wanted to alienate any and everyone that cared about her. Repeatedly insulted me in front of our daughter. Said what she did, did not affect our daughter, that my crazy behavior did. I told her that she's done this to our daughter herself, I didn't do it and I didn't make her decision for her.

Here is the letter I sent to OM:

-----------------------------------

Good evening *******, 

I’m going to start with this; I know everything. I know your promises about hugging and never letting go. I also know she liked you 10 years ago and you dropped her like a bad habit. I know your promises about kissing her on the forehead and everything being rainbows and puppy dogs at the expense of a 6 year old child. You’re not her savior. I know your history.

She is a beautiful woman. I cannot blame you for being attracted to her. But this is a losing battle for you. 

I have been engaged to her for 6 years. We've been through heaven and hell together and we have a beautiful 6 year old daughter from it. She’s not only the mother of my child; she’s also the love of my life. I haven’t given her the attention she deserves and it seems she’s getting it from you. I will not make that mistake again. Your persistence in trying to entice my fiancé away from a brand new home, a beautiful daughter, a great job and a fiancé and family who care for her deeply, and love her more than life itself, has sparked anger in me that I cannot describe.

You have a pissed off family, a very pissed off Dad and a man that would rather piss in your face than look at you in her father. If you decide to not heed this warning, (I see all your conversations.) You have a very angry family and a heartbroken 6 year old, which refers to you as that "ugly boy." I will be the thorn in your side for years to come. If you attempt to come here, I’ll know about it and I will find you. If she tries to go there I will follow her and find you. You can bet your ass on this.

I highly doubt you can make her happy. You have a ****ty job at --- that you hate and will probably quit. You do not own a home, if you guys manage to stay together passed this honeymoon stage, she will resent you for luring her away from her daughter. You have 6 years of work experience and you're 39. That is not a stable job history. You're right; you are not qualified for the jobs you see. You should have 20 years’ experience. Can you buy her a home and treat her like she deserves to be treated? I doubt it. Can you deal with the fact that you caused trauma to a 6 year old girl and changed her life forever just to get your rocks off?

It also doesn’t help that your whole relationship is built on a foundation of lies. ----, in her current infatuated state (I have a hard time seeing what she’s infatuated with.) she is not strong enough to tell you to **** off. I’m the man and I will tell you, **** OFF! If you were a decent human being, you would see the current situation she’s in and back off until she was a free woman, but you’re taking advantage of a hurt and confused woman. I know everything about you -----. You've tried to destroy my family and you are causing trauma to our daughter that I take very personally. So does ----'s family.

If you continue I will send all your cheesy conversations to your entire friends list. I will call your mother and your family and tell them how you are trying to entice a married woman from her family. I will also send your conversations to your workplace and the photos you send of yourself at work. Just so they know what you're doing on company time. 

I will not back down and I will fight for my family. I thought you should also know after you ask her to send you sweet nothings and after all the virtual hugs and squeezes, she’s having sex with me. Move onto your next internet girl. Have a great day!!

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She now officially hates me. Says OM will never tlak to her again. Yet I think they're still talking because she takes burner phone with her everywhere.

She now holds a personal grudge against me because I ruined their romance.

Thoughts?


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