# Initial Court Date this Friday



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

So I have an initial court date this friday where we meet the judge to go over financial stuff; now today my wife is coming at me saying some of the things we agreed to she doesn't think is fair now.

God I just think sometimes death would be preferable then dealing with her; she goes from being nice sometimes, asking if I'm doing okay to attacking me, pointing out every perceived flaw I have.

We used to be best friends, now I look at her like my mortal enemy; can't believe it's ending like this.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Good luck, proud! I think at this point you should just decline to discuss the issues any further and say that the judge will decide.

It's so sad...


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## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

Ultimately the WS is a selfish being.. You don't hate her, you hate what she has become. She is not the woman you were married to, she is gone.. Abducted by aliens and replaced with what stands before you now. She is to be pittied (eventually) 
In the meantime, fight fire with fire.. Be selfish about what you want & what's best for you. It is only money, but when you don't have alot if it, it's pretty damned important!

Take care of yourself Proud xx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

Stay strong, Proud. Don't fall for it when she acts "nice". She's proven over and over again the type of woman she is. Protect yourself. I'll be thinking of you Friday.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

ALL I AM TO THIS WOMAN IS A FREAKING $ SIGN! HOW MUCH SHE CAN GET OUT OF ME= HOW MUCH ILL PAY HER IN CHILD SUPPORT. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Don't back down from her brother. She is used to you being weak and accomodating. Throw the old man aside and come back at her! Tell the judge about her adulterous behavior if he'll let you.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> ALL I AM TO THIS WOMAN IS A FREAKING $ SIGN! HOW MUCH SHE CAN GET OUT OF ME= HOW MUCH ILL PAY HER IN CHILD SUPPORT. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


To her you're a wallet with a penis, and to you she's your worst enemy.

You're fighting the war of your life. Give it your best shot, try to keep it business only and don't let it drag you down. Some day it will be over and you'll walk away with whatever you have left and you'll be free of her.

It's as simple as that.

Oh and expect nothing to be resolved in court. You might walk out of there having wasted a day that you missed work and over a grand in legal fees and wondering how long this is going to take and how much it will cost.


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Good luck Proud!

Is she getting primary custody to be thinking $$ that much?


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> ALL I AM TO THIS WOMAN IS A FREAKING $ SIGN! HOW MUCH SHE CAN GET OUT OF ME= HOW MUCH ILL PAY HER IN CHILD SUPPORT. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You can take it and you will take it for your kids. Don't let her steal your hard earned progress. We've all watched you fight too hard to be in a better place. She has already taken enough from you. Get pissed and don't back down!!!!!


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

i agree with cantmove-get angry proud and dont back down
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

cantmove said:


> You can take it and you will take it for your kids. Don't let her steal your hard earned progress. We've all watched you fight too hard to be in a better place. She has already taken enough from you. Get pissed and don't back down!!!!!


:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

Hold on, Proud. It might not seem like it now, but it's just something to get through, and you will.


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Proud,
Is this a pendente lite hearing or just a child support hearing?


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

You don't back down and you do it for your kids. Remember that in 10 years time your children will be old enough to ask serious questions and come to there own conclusion on what really happened in your marriage.

The thing is, you won't even have to really say anything at all. You do the best you can for yourself and for your children and down the road you will be rewarded for it.

My friends mother walked out on her, her brother and father years ago. She literally stole everything she wanted out of the house, left them with an unreal amount of debt and never EVER paid child support.

Her dad did the best he could, he still had a drinking problem but never raised a hand to his children. He would have a meal on the table every night (even if it was just weiners and beans) and took them to there baseball games.

She was 12 when this all happened and for 10+ years was never really certain of what happened. She knew her mom was off her rocker but also had problems with how her dad handled everything.

That was until she was 28 and finally went to some serious IC about her family issues.

You want to know what she came out with at the end of it all?? An undying love for her father. It took a long time for her to realise it, he wasn't perfect, he made mistakes, but he never EVER backed down when it came to her and her brother. 

Things won't be easy and good positive changes sadly don't happen over night (unlike how quickly things can unwind) but you named yourself PROUD DADDY for a reason.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Proud: Hang in there! You may well be in the fight of your life, but you are an inspiration to me. Soon, I'll be going through the same thing you are, as I'll literally be fighting for my existence as my well-to-do STBXW wants to try to bleed money out of poor folks like me.

Go after those kids. They'll be so much better off with you instead of with her using them as pawns to siphon off additional funds from you.

Hang in there as I'll be fastly praying for you and your kids!


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

How was your night, Proud? Sleep any? You doing ok?


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Proud? Where are you? How are you doing today? 
Know that once tomorrow is over you will feel better. Try to have something planned for the weekend.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Guys I have made a big financial decision in preparation for tomorrows court date, it will benefit my children, but set me back a little. However I will have peace of mind. Tomorrow is just going to be another day. I have my kids tomorrow night, we will rent a redbox movie, have some tacos that I will make, and I will not waste one thought on my ex. Please keep me in your prayers. I've not slept at all much this week.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> Guys I have made a big financial decision in preparation for tomorrows court date, it will benefit my children, but set me back a little. However I will have peace of mind. Tomorrow is just going to be another day. I have my kids tomorrow night, we will rent a redbox movie, have some tacos that I will make, and I will not waste one thought on my ex. Please keep me in your prayers. I've not slept at all much this week.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Glad you are getting all your ducks in a row. You seem like a great dad for putting your children first. Good luck tomorrow and get some rest....it will be ok!


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Think of it as the storm before the calm. 

Best wishes and good luck.


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

It is just one day. You will be over with it before you know it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Good luck brother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> Guys I have made a big financial decision in preparation for tomorrows court date, it will benefit my children, but set me back a little. However I will have peace of mind. Tomorrow is just going to be another day. I have my kids tomorrow night, we will rent a redbox movie, have some tacos that I will make, and I will not waste one thought on my ex. Please keep me in your prayers. I've not slept at all much this week.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm always thinking about you and hoping you're doing well. I'm not much for prayers; the big guy stopped listening to me a long time ago  
Mama's right about thinking past tomorrow in order to get through this; tacos and a movie sound great.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

What is wrong with me, this woman is going to cost me $15000 instead of $8000 and I can't bring myself to fully hate her???
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> What is wrong with me, this woman is going to cost me $15000 instead of $8000 and I can't bring myself to fully hate her???
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know the feeling, Proud! My STBXW is wealthy and is trying to put me in the "poor house" through some inordinate clause in a prenup.

Praying for you and your kids is all too easy, brother! And I won't let up off of that "prayer pedal" until you say so! God's Speed!


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## stedfin (Apr 14, 2012)

proudwidaddy said:


> What is wrong with me, this woman is going to cost me $15000 instead of $8000 and I can't bring myself to fully hate her???
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If your divorce costs you 15k you got away cheap. Some months my legal bill was more than that. Cost me over 125k for my attorney alone, exwife probably paid at least that much.

In the end she got pretty much what I offered her in the beginning. 

Big waste of time and money.

Try to settle, even if you have to give her more than you expected. Otherwise the attorneys are going to get it anyway.

It's lose/lose, try to minimize the damage by cutting your losses now rather than later.


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