# Change my name back or keep his?



## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

Right now, we are finalizing our marital settlement agreement, so I need to decide what to do with my last name. We were married 10 years, we have two young children, and I'm a teacher, so I'm known professionally to the students and their parents with my married name. I initially didn't second guess keeping the name, since it's my name now, and it's the kids' name, but now I just don't know after talking to other divorcees. 

Stbx said he didn't expect me to keep his name because he thinks I hate him, but that he would never ask me to change back. I guess I just feel like it's a lot of hassle. I mean I'll get married again one day and change my name to my new husband's, and it's a much happier reason to tell people I changed my name. If I leave it now I can just go from Mrs. to Ms. What's everyone else doing? Reasoning? Help me decide!


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

The problem with changing ones last name is the hassle of changing all IDs (driver's license, social security, etc.), job information, bank and credit card information, organization membership, and the list goes on and on. Not to mention the time and expense to do all this.


As far as I know, nobody has yet copyrighted a last name - just don't quote me on it. If you have no personal issue where it bothers you to have your STBXHs last name, then just keep it.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

I kept my EXH last name. As Morituri stated, too much of a hassle for me to change it back.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## everantisocial (Jun 29, 2010)

We went double barreled luckily with my name last, so I've just phased out using the first part except on forms, made it quite easy. Can't face the hassle of changing everything.

Plus if I'm truthful I'm not ready to give it up yet, maybe I'll feel differently when he finally decides it time to divorce.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

everantisocial said:


> We went double barreled luckily with my name last, so I've just phased out using the first part except on forms, made it quite easy. Can't face the hassle of changing everything.
> 
> Plus if I'm truthful I'm not ready to give it up yet, maybe I'll feel differently when he finally decides it time to divorce.


From divorce, I changed it back. It was unusual and not well thought of in our community (he's a loser). My kids encouraged me to do it and would have gone to my maiden name had their father allowed it. It was hyphenated, so I just dropped the end. It is a pain. I took new H's name and I have changed all ID but one rarely used credit card. 5 years married and never got around to that. Oh well next week...m
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I never changed my name to his so luckily this was a non-issue.

Lonely-if you want to change it back, I say go for it.


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## confusedinlove (Mar 9, 2009)

I say if there is any question, change it back. My bf's ex-wife refused to give up his last name, and uses it against me all the time ("I have his last name, not you", etc...) even to the point of TELLING other people they are married. She tells the school, the kids sports teams, etc. that they are married and he lives at her address. They have been divorced for 10 years. 

I'm not saying that you would do anything like that, but in my opinion, there's no reason to keep a last name that's not yours.


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

morituri said:


> The problem with changing ones last name is the hassle of changing all IDs (driver's license, social security, etc.), job information, bank and credit card information, organization membership, and the list goes on and on. Not to mention the time and expense to do all this.


:iagree: Plus my maiden name is embarassing


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Ehh, if he doesn't care, leave it. You can always change it if you get re-married.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

My knee jerk reaction was to change back to my maiden name. But I have decided to keep his for the following reasons:

1. Too much cost and hassle to change it.
2. Maiden name is longer and prone to misspelling and misprounciation. 
3. It is the last name that my children have and we will continue to be a family regardless of marital status between H and I.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

My sister has been divorced for years. She kept his name because it was her kids last name. Difference between maiden name and married name is none really. Both start with the same letter and have the same syllables. At this point I think nothing of it. It's just HER name now. I don't think of him anymore.


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

I think I'll keep it. It is a big hassle to change it and professionally I'm known by his last name. I would definitely change it if I remarried though. I'm not out for drama or anything, but I think it will bug his mistress that I have his name still and she doesn't. But really it's more about just sailing forward. I have enough to worry about without worrying about changing my name.


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