# Soon to be ex is gonna take a financial hit that I didn't intend. Thoughts?



## staircase (May 16, 2011)

Ok, so what do you guys think? I bought my house on my own like 10 years ago. When I married soon to be ex, we refinanced the house and his name is on it, too. That has been a huge source of anger and fighting. He says he never wanted to be on the house. That tells me he never really saw us as a bona fide couple, but not being a mind reader I don't know.

So now I can't afford the house on top of other things that accumulated over the course of the marriage. I have no problems letting the bank take the stupid thing.

I am now freaking out that my soon to be ex will be financially screwed by this house. I feel a lot of guilt and I'm not sure why. He's a big boy who married me and signed paperwork for the house.

Any words of advice, commiseration, insults?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Hmmm.....sounds like some rewriting history going on. My estranged husband now says the same thing about our house. I know that's not true though. He was actively helping with the design and building--and he wanted it big enough to accommodate his out-of-town family when they came for visits. Don't know what to tell you.:scratchhead:

I don't know if this will help you, but I met with a real estate auctioneer yesterday. It's a long story, but I learned a lot from him. If you keep the house and get a divorce, there is apparently a government stimulus plan available. The plan allows for a refinance and interest around 2%. Also, in cases where you want to sell the house, consider auctioning it off. A real estate auctioneer negotiates with the bank as far as the least amount they will accept--and handles everything. At least in my situation I'm currently having to think outside the box, since traditional things aren't working.


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

I guess I just feel really guilty for some reason. I enjoying nothing better than flogging myself endlessly.

Ex was part of renovating the house as well. It all just sucks. sucks sucks sucks.

thank you for the suggestion, I appreciate it. Since he won't do a damn thing to help unload this thing I guess he gets what he gets, you know?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

staircase said:


> Since he won't do a damn thing to help unload this thing I guess he gets what he gets, you know?


There ya go! That's my situation as well. I've consulted at least four bankruptcy and/or property attorneys for advice. No one has any real solution for this mess I'm in because of his affairs and partying. And the estranged husband could care less. I can't even file for bankruptcy! That's pretty pathetic......and none of this financial chaos is disturbing him one bit.


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## dante (Jun 2, 2011)

I agree. Take some responsibility. If he signed the papers, then it's his house too and if it goes up, then he has no one but himself to blame.


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