# Left hanging...



## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

This is a minor issue (not really an issue) but something that comes up from time to time and I'm just curious about how you ladies feel about being "left hanging"

There are occasions when I'm just in a playful mood and I end up teasing/playing with the missus until she gets turned on yet I'm not actually interested in doing anything either than having fun (also happens alot after a long day when I just want intimacy without sex)... to the point sometimes she just (tries to) reject me because she doesn't want to end up being 'left hanging' - never works, or taking me anyway but I have no energy and sometimes even fall asleep

Is it really that bad?
She does it to me all the time =/


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

So you turn her on and then leave her hanging.

That sucks, man.

I wouldn't do that to Hubs and if he did that to me, I'd be like, wtf?!


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Yeah I don't like it, either.

For once hubby was playful with me today... But then that was it. Nothing. Oh well.

It's not intentional, I'm sure. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I'd make it something  LOL!

Not so fast, mister! We have business to finish. :rofl:


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I don't do it intentionally either, sometimes I just like to muck around even if I'm not in the mood for sex =/

I'm playful by nature... oh well


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> This is a minor issue (not really an issue) but something that comes up from time to time and I'm just curious about how you ladies feel about being "left hanging"
> 
> There are occasions when I'm just in a playful mood and I end up teasing/playing with the missus until she gets turned on yet I'm not actually interested in doing anything either than having fun (also happens alot after a long day when I just want intimacy without sex)... to the point sometimes she just (tries to) reject me because she doesn't want to end up being 'left hanging' - never works, or taking me anyway but I have no energy and sometimes even fall asleep
> 
> ...


When my kids fight and use the excuse that the other one started it, I tell them to stay the heck away from each other, I don't care who started it. Doesn't make it right. If she doesn't like it, why would you want to do it regardless? It doesn't make sense to me at all.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Cause sometimes I just feel like playing and showing my affection and love without having to spend another hour exerting myself =/

Such as after a long day at work


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

An hour? lol have a quickie.

You really do cause your own problems.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

She's never good at keeping time when it comes to quickies! lol

The shortest "quickies" tends to be 30-60 minute sessions like during my lunch break at work, and it's only short because I got an excuse to cut it short

Otherwise it just eats up time, besides she gets it around twice a day nowadays when I'm in the mood anyways... darn it


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Simple.... don't get her going if you don't want to deal with it.... women know this.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

Hubby just did it again. Wtf.

No mistaking it this time. We were wrestling around, he ended up on top of me - he said sometime to the effect of, "how bout I just 'break you off'" (as he grabbed my 'cupcake') and I said "anytime"!

He then said "I can't... I have to go XYZ"

Now he's teasing intentionally.

Don't do that sh!t. It pisses us off and hurts our feelings. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Don't write checks she can't cash.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Awww =/

But what am I going to say if after a long day with her expecting some fun time and then if I withdraw from that and when she asks why I'm distant... I can't exactly say something like "No, I'm not touching you because I don't want you to get horny"


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Why can't you say that?


because that turns into "you think all I want from you is sex!? what kind of a person do you think I am?"

believe me, been there, done that, worded it every which way, its just setting yourself up.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

True that! LoL!

I guess women are a bit confusing! Haha!

My guess is, if she's getting it often enough she shouldn't necessarily perceive a rejection per say.

Or maybe you can just down with her and explain you like love-making to be spontaneous - sometimes it happens when you are playful; sometimes it doesn't. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mephisto (Feb 20, 2011)

Somebody please tell my wife what the hell is going on here. I refuse to get all "touchy feely" when I know it is not going anywhere, (I am HD, she is LD) Why in the hell would I WANT to get worked up with no avenue for release???????


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

She's definitely getting more than enough nowadays, hence it's not really too much of an issue, just from time to time. But it's a bit a dilemma, turns out ironically I'm also a very physical lover just like her, difference is that I enjoy the intimacy more than just the sex.

Besides I work, and own my own business, sometimes I only have enough energy to show her intimacy and affection but not enough energy to make love.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> This is a minor issue (not really an issue) but something that comes up from time to time and I'm just curious about how you ladies feel about being "left hanging"
> 
> There are occasions when I'm just in a playful mood and I end up teasing/playing with the missus until she gets turned on yet I'm not actually interested in doing anything either than having fun (also happens alot after a long day when I just want intimacy without sex)... to the point sometimes she just (tries to) reject me because she doesn't want to end up being 'left hanging' - never works, or taking me anyway but I have no energy and sometimes even fall asleep
> 
> ...



I don't really see it as all that bad if it's something she is aware of, that it's only "playing", no finishing. I like to do that as well, over a day, kind of work things up, then when you finally do get to get down to business, it's all that more intense. But...

if she doesn't like, then you need to respect that.


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## uzername (May 1, 2012)

Can't you just scale it back and make it not SO intimate when you're just "playing"? You get to be touchy feely but it doesn't cross the line into purely sexual.


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Cause sometimes I just feel like playing and showing my affection and love without having to spend another hour exerting myself =/
> 
> Such as after a long day at work


It happens.. but if you can carefully say "I'm just being playful" or let her know that you are just looking for intimacy, wouldn't that help?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

After giving it some thought.... we turn each other on (on purpose) at times when you know nothing further is going to happen. "Neckin'" or rubbing or whatever when one of us is on the way out the door. We just think of it as long term foreplay. 

But neither of us finds it to be a negative thing...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

^ Wish wifey thinks like that 

From time to time yes I do tell her I'm just teasing or playing so she knows what to expect but it doesn't really stop her from getting turned on
The touches are not necessarily sexual either... well, not completely


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

It's a double standard but I dont care I'll say it...

When your woman is down for the sects you better give it up.

You're at eye level with this gift horse.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ok, I need this thread back, update:

I've realised I have to stop this. However it's like me asking her to not have sex. This is my adrenaline, my domain, my passion. If I can't flirt/tease/play with her it's like her not being able to have sex. But she reckons that I shouldn't lead her on so ok...

I... AM... NOW... OFFICIALLY... SO F--KED
There's no solution for either of us! Or is there? Help!


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## Rosemary's Granddaughter (Aug 25, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Ok, I need this thread back, update:
> 
> I've realised I have to stop this. However it's like me asking her to not have sex. This is my adrenaline, my domain, my passion. If I can't flirt/tease/play with her it's like her not being able to have sex. But she reckons that I shouldn't lead her on so ok...
> 
> ...


So save it for right before you're walking out the door, like SunnyT does? I think that's a great solution...


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

But that's how she got horny to begin with, besides I did something like that this morning, just ended up with me being labeled a$$hole for the day.


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## Rosemary's Granddaughter (Aug 25, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> I did something like that this morning, just ended up with me being labeled a$$hole for the day.


She was serious, or playful, in that response?


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Your relationship is so weird. I have seriously never heard of another like it.

Maybe you need to accept you're fundamentally sexually incompatible and end things as amicably as possible.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Well, the frequency of sex is the only thing we are arguing about at the moment. And aside from the frequency, we do have a good sex life. We just had a talk about it tonight, re-established boundaries. I wonder how long this will last though.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Really? Frequency the only issue? 

Over the past couple of weeks you have started multiple threads asking about hypersexuality, performance anxiety, comparing yourself to others, distrusting her loyalty, not trusting her to not abuse you, bagging her out to your friends, her not working, you not wanting another baby...

So I think there's a bit more going on there.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Hypersexuality, performance anxiety, comparing myself to others, distrusting her loyalty -> are all symptons due to her sexual demands - aka frequency

Not trusting her to not abuse me when I'm tied down is a minor issue ATM as we have yet to re-implement restraints to our sex life and the ban is still there
Bagging her out/her not working/me not wanting another baby -> that issue has been resolved.

So yes, at the moment, it's just the frequency


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