# his Gambling addiction is stressing me up



## Shecheats (Aug 11, 2012)

Hello, I am so glad to find this forum! I have so many thoughts and emotions that needs to be share but I don't want to bother my friends anymore because I always share my worries to them and I feel like I am overwhelming them.

Here it goes! I stay with my boyfriend and we have a baby together. We have been together for 1 year and a half. I am here sitting on m chair feeling so upset because he is at the casino all day playing poker! I cried so much last night because he told me he wants to leave the house at 11pm to play poker. We agreed that he could play friday nights and sundays but yeah he still go to the casino on weekdays sometimes and come home before midnight. He's been going 4 times a week lately and it make me really stress up. He said that if i couldn't accept him of who he was then i'd better decide what to do and do what i gotta to do because this is his passion and part of his life, but this is not what I like him to do all the time!

I wish he will understand where I am coming from, sundays is supposed to be a family day but where he was? at the casino! 

Help me please, any suggestions that I could ask my boyfriend to minimize his gambling problem. He does have a good job and he is very supportive but he does have many addictions its killing me inside! I am torn!

Thank you!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I have to ask because it is an important distinction, this isn't blackjack or roulette where you play against the house. It isn't even sports betting where even when you are skilled it is incredibly difficult to beat the house fees. (and in poker to be good enough to beat the rake is another matter as well)


does he win overall? does he keep track of his wins and losses, does he keep a bankroll and does he stick to playing only a small percentage of that bankroll when he plays?

the reason I ask those questions is that poker is a skill game over the long term. Sure over short term the randomness of cards can make even the best players have losing strings. People who treat the game seriously and are actually good or improving will play with a bankroll to minimize the risk of losing everything and weather the short runs of bad "luck". If he treats the game as such and is good he will show a profit over a period of hands played.

That said- 
most players aren't good
most players treat poker as gambling (which is why the small percentage of skilled ones will make money overall)

plus the good players have to play tons and tons of hands to get good

so in most cases your BF is treating this like gambling and has a problem if the money and time are getting sucked down a well and in the best case, he is winning some extra cash but his time is getting sucked down a well.

what does he say about it when you bring it up?


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