# Hubby and I disagree, can you help?



## questionablechar (May 3, 2016)

Hubby and I from time to time have a bit of tension over positions during intercourse. I prefer to be on the bottom because I feel closer to him and he for some reason is hung up on wanting doggie style. It hurts when we do it perhaps because of the angle, but he really likes it. When I give in it hurts and I have to just burry my face in a pillow.

Am I the only woman that deals with this issue? How have you dealt with it? Are there any ladies out there that prefer from behind? If so, why? How does it not hurt?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

tell him it hurts or have him go slow and try different angles with lots of lube. lots of foreplay to get things going would also be helpful.

bottom line if it hurts he should respect you and try something else.

being on top all the time gets old. variety is the spice of life. maybe a bj instead of doggy be creative.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

anything that hurts during sex (and i don't mean 'hurts so good'), should either be discarded or re-evaluated.

if your HB knows it hurts he should either not do it, or experiment and figure out a way so it doesn't hurt.

as far as why it hurts for you, and not other people, remember everyone's anatomy is different.

as far as i'm concerned, sex should never hurt on purpose.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I agree with others that if it hurts you shouldn't to it. You may find that minor adjustments in position can make a big difference so its worth trying.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

questionablechar said:


> Hubby and I from time to time have a bit of tension over positions during intercourse. I prefer to be on the bottom because I feel closer to him and he for some reason is hung up on wanting doggie style. It hurts when we do it perhaps because of the angle, but he really likes it. When I give in it hurts and I have to just burry my face in a pillow.
> 
> Am I the only woman that deals with this issue? How have you dealt with it? Are there any ladies out there that prefer from behind? If so, why? How does it not hurt?


Tell him how you feel so he can be aware if you have not already. I'd also suggest you try doing reverse cowgirl so that you are on top and he is laying down. This would allow you to be in full control and try to determine if there is anything that can be done differently to facilitate doggy position. 

As for me and my wife she does not like doggy position, but she tends to offer it to me when she is not really in the mood and wants to make me loose control and climax super fast. Perhaps you could adopt this practice with your husband, but if he is aware this is why you do it, he may be reluctant to partake too often which would also be helpful.

Good luck, 
Badsanta


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

different angles will help. instead of him kneeling behind you, have him stand at the side of the bed and you crouch more on the bed. or both of you on your sides and he enters from behind. i'm a little bigger than average and my wife is petite and this worked for us.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
also, find out what he likes about that position. Is it the sensation, the visual effect or the mood? There may be other things that will be nice for you that will let him also get what he enjoys.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> also, find out what he likes about that position. Is it the sensation, the visual effect or the mood? There may be other things that will be nice for you that will let him also get what he enjoys.


If it is the visual effect he is after, have him wear a set of VR goggles, and stream live video from a fun point of view!


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Nobody has caught on yet to this poster being a troll?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Nobody has caught on yet to this poster being a troll?



The horny/pervy ones always evade detection longer>


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Nobody has caught on yet to this poster being a troll?


 @SecondTime'Round I did a background check on questionablechar and this user has not gone into the "coping with infidelity" forum yet seeking advice and support on how not to get caught cheating. So until then, please give this user the benefit of the doubt that her hind end is all smashed to pieces and she needs to visit Living With BWVAKTBOOM | BWVAKTBOOM.com


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

badsanta said:


> @SecondTime'Round I did a background check on questionablechar and this user has not gone into the "coping with infidelity" forum yet seeking advice and support on how not to get caught cheating. So until then, please give this user the benefit of the doubt that her hind end is all smashed to pieces and she needs to visit Living With BWVAKTBOOM | BWVAKTBOOM.com


:rofl:


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## dan13732 (May 5, 2016)

From the title of the thread "Re: Hubby and I disagree, can you help?" it almost sounds like "if you get more votes of folks who agree with you, your H will ease up." This isn't about what other people think; our "votes" have no weight in this matter.

That said, FYI, I have heard from many that women _prefer_ sex from behind, as it "feels deeper".

I think you should:

a) Talk to your doctor (GP and gyno) about the sensations you are feeling. Maybe there is a medical condition at the cause; if so, maybe there is something you can do about it. (Or maybe not... but ask.)

b) Talk to your husband. He may like it for the sensation, or the variety, or something else. There are SO MANY positions, and SO MANY ways to get different sensations... so start considering a list of options, and then -- together -- narrow it down to one or two to try "next time" instead of doggie style.

BTW: ditto previous comments about lots of foreplay, lube, and try reverse doggie.

As for "if it hurts you, he should just not request it". Well... yes and no. I agree he shouldn't force that position on you to the point of pain. But I firmly believe that a healthy marital sex life should NOT be defined by "don't exceed the boundaries of the less adventurous partner." So if you are scratching one activity or position off the list... you need to consider being the one to suggest a few alternatives, IMO.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

You need to tell Hubby that is just too well endowed for that position. It is always nicer to say no with a complement.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

*OK EVERYBODY!*

I have pulled two all nighters, which included some online focus groups using cardboard cutouts and shadow puppets in my garage to try to solve this one. My oh my, let me first say that I have learned A LOT that can help @questionablechar and her husband solve this problem.

The best advice is from those that work as professional prostitutes is that while in doggy position, you reach between your legs as if you are helping guide your husband into your vagina. You arch your back in such a way that it is almost impossible for him to penetrate you so that his penis will slide underneath you towards your stomach. At that same time you gently cup your hand underneath his penis so that he feels pressure underneath his penis. When he looks down he will see his penis parting you vaginal lips and he will think he is penetrating you, but in reality he is just sliding over the exterior of you vagina and being discreetly held in place by your hand (well lubed!) on the under side of his penis, which he will be unable to see. 

According to prostitutes that have mastered this technique, men will not be able to tell the difference between this and actual penetration! It also prevents wear and tear on the interior lining of your vagina (which is helpful for those in the sex industry), and for you @questionablechar it should prevent any internal discomfort from your husband thrusting into you at a problematic angle. 

I hope this helps you please be thankful to all the retired professionals in the Holland sex industry for teaching us this tip to help you both please your man AND help prevent you from feeling discomfort!










Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

i think what badsanta is saying is that he went to prostitutes two nights in a row, paid for PIV and got the old HJ trick.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

questionablechar said:


> Am I the only woman that deals with this issue? How have you dealt with it? Are there any ladies out there that prefer from behind? If so, why? How does it not hurt?


There are a lot more than those two positions. 

Spoon sex could be the answer for you.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Married&Confused said:


> i think what badsanta is saying is that he went to prostitutes two nights in a row, paid for PIV and got the old HJ trick.


Well I only have intermarital affairs and never extramarital affairs. When I hit myself up late at night, no matter how much I want PIV, I do end up only able to give myself the old HJ trick.

Generally speaking I don't pay myself for giving myself just a HJ, but I will treat myself to dinner and a movie afterwards!


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## dash74 (Jan 3, 2015)

badsanta said:


> Generally speaking I don't pay myself for giving myself just a HJ, but I will treat myself to dinner and a movie afterwards!



Made me think of this old Phil Hartman SNL bit


Player with yourselves club | PopScreen


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## Rhapsodee (May 11, 2016)

Every man is different. I liked doggy style with my husband, it was the one that worked best for us. It didn't work with other lovers. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

questionablechar said:


> Hubby and I from time to time have a bit of tension over positions during intercourse. I prefer to be on the bottom because I feel closer to him and he for some reason is hung up on wanting doggie style. It hurts when we do it perhaps because of the angle, but he really likes it. When I give in it hurts and I have to just burry my face in a pillow.
> 
> Am I the only woman that deals with this issue? How have you dealt with it? Are there any ladies out there that prefer from behind? If so, why? How does it not hurt?


Here's the thing....maybe he needs more variety. And missionary can be a lot of work for a guy.

Try laying on your side, bottom leg straight, top leg bent. He straddles your bottom leg. Kind of a "side doggie". He can kneel a bit better, and gives some of the same benefits and visuals of doggie, with less chance for over penetration and pain for you.


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