# interracial marriage... Maybe ******** were right...



## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

I am an american girl and I have been married to a pakistani guy for just over a year. We have been together almost 3 years. But the circumstances of our marriage are complicated at best. My hubs is a hindu pakistani but still a pakistani... His parents are old school brown people... He's supposed to go to medical school and marry some subserviant idiot who follows him around on her leash. Well, instead he fell in love with me. For the first year and a half of our relationship everything was pretty good. But everything changed after he took a short trip to chicago and he left his laptop with me. Totally his call. I had been really happy in our relationship, but the curiosity just ate at me... So what did I do, ladies? We've all been there... I checked his history. I was expecting to find a little harmless porn here and there... I was not expecting to find his ENGAGEMENT photos!! 3 months prior to the chicago trip he had been back to pakistan to get engaged to his arranged wife-to-be. Obviously I said I was done. How could you stay with someone who could do that to you. Then he asked me to marry him. Well, ****. So my heart won over my mind and here I am. A year into marriage and still confused. We agreed he would tell his family after our second wedding anniversary. His plan was to tell his siblings about our marriage first and together they would all tell his parents. Well, we're a year deep already and I'm still a mystery. Everyday I get more and more convinced that day will come and he will break this ultimate promise to me. So now when we argue I keep thinking "well, we're probably gonna break up because of that anyway. So why do I put up with this bull**** again?" 

but that's crazy right? I'm planning my divorce a year before he even has the opportunity to prove me right or wrong. 

my marriage story is pretty crazy... I should write a book or something, haha.

anyway, coping tips and advice welcome!

thanks for reading!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The cultural differences are huge here. 

I don't know what you should do. He is torn between you and honoring his family.

What does HE want to do?


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## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

wild story! my parents are interracial. my dad's family would not accept my mom, but he was able to tell them to back off. of course, they're divorced now, but only due to reasons of not providing for us a home, food, and basic necessities.


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## Nikki51 (Nov 15, 2008)

Why are you waiting to tell his family?


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

i think he wants to keep me a secret until they die. they're old.. 70s. i'm not prepared for that, so i really hope that it doesnt come to that. he tells me constantly, "why does it matter to you? they dont even speak english. if i tell them, then they're not going to talk to me. is that what you want?" 

i havent told his family because the only one who speaks english lives in NY. i've asked if i could tell his sister and he said he will divorce me.


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## collegeguy1 (Aug 11, 2011)

not interracial relationships are the way. Like both me and my gf are american but I'm black and shes white. So culturally we're similar more it's other issues. But our relationship worked well up until now. But it's our third crisis and we haven't broken up yet. I think interracial relationships are pretty much the same.


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## JohnMcCloud (Aug 15, 2011)

...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

...Except that he is married to her 'for real'
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> ...Except that he is married to her 'for real'
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yea.

:iagree:


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## cory275 (Aug 11, 2011)

what part is your wife from? My hubs is from karachi. I'm hoping that your theories about pak men are mostly true for muslim pakistanis. Arranged marriages in karachi are becoming less common over there. There were a few cousins of my hubs so just walked out of their own weddings. 

but I have realized how important family is to them, but mind you while we were dating he only talked to them like once a month. Now suddenly they're the most important thing ever since he asked me to marry him.

but we are married for real. We have been married for real. We live together, our money is shared. I can't imagine him giving up everything because his mommy said no. But if I'm wrong about him I guess it wouldn't be the first time.

thanks for your reply, I guess tonight I'm still hanging on to hope. Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently.


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