# Jealousy....



## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

KK boys, another question here LOL

Set the scene  ):

OK, so friday night I had a real "date" night with my SO. I made him choose the where and when and would not let him tell me (wanted him to take charge.. it's a turn on for me) Anyway... I had a new dress that alone was just cute as hell, so for HIS pleasure and my fun, I added a specific pair of shoes, and thigh highs with the garter and all  Now I have NEVER worn this kind of outfit, but only because I had been waiting to have THE dress that I wanted to put it with  We are also working on a redo, and this was out second "date" since getting back together.

Things between us have been going REALLY well this time, AND HE is the one that brought up the when question out rekindling the sex aspect of our relationship. Lately he has turned me on enough just helping and wanted to really work to put things on track that I figured I could have some fun.

Anyway... he kept talking about how I was over dressed... he was in jeans and just a long sleeve T. Now this is normal mismatching for us, I like to dress from time to time and he doesn't. Frankyl I am totally fine with that and would have beencomfortable eating at KFC in my outfit... Him.. not so much LOL He kept saying that my outfit was gonna turn other men's heads and get him into trouble (not really, he was just sayin...) but it's not like anyone else could see the underneath ...

My reaction was... well then pump up your chest and give them the look of.. "Yup, that's right, she's hot and she is with me now and coming home with me later  " Basically I told him to be proud (that would be my reaction)

There are NO issues of cheating and I asked him why it would bother if other men look as long as my eyes stay on him. I did not dress up for them, I did it because I liked how I looked and thought HE would (some of it was just for fun cuz i wanted him to have to sit through dinner knowing what wasn't visible)

becuase of our home kid situation, we ended up renting a hotel room for a couple of hours (OMG I have to laugh at that HAHA) and I also have to say that when we went in for the room, YA it MUST have looked like I was his umm..... paid friend for the night, except that I was giggling and had to be the one to rent it cuz he had not ID (forgot to mention we git busted parking earlier in the night... cop car high beams... his ass in the front window HAAAAAAA AND he had no ID on him LMAO) Well HE felt silly that I looked like his hooker, I thought it was hysterical, I mean really, we don't know the people in the office, and even if we did, all we are saying to anyone is that we know how to have fun, and will shell out $50 to have it HAAAA

Just wondering if other guys have this jealousy thing here. Keep in mind, one thing we have always had and always will have is total assuance that cheating will not enter our relationship no matter how either of us looks. So why can't men just pump their chests knowing that she is going home with him? What's the deal there?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Woodstock, I think it's great what you did! Good job! And I laughed about the getting busted in the car... My current lover and I have had a few teenage type makeout sessions in the car, but never gotten busted, thankfully! Although the thought is always in the back of her mind. My mind is otherwise occupied...

As far as the jealousy goes, I'm not sure. It seems that some people (not just guys) are wired for jealousy, and others are not. I don't know if it's an insecurity thing or what. In my case, I love that my lover dresses to tease and torment me in public, and I couldn't give a flying fig what anyone else is looking at... I know that she's only got eyes for me, she dressed specifically for me and what she knows I like, and she's getting into my car at the end of the night.

Oh, and her outfits HAVE caused me "trouble" in public... That's why dark lounges with back corner booths are great! And the staff seem willing to look the other way, so long as you stay reasonably discrete. 

C


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I think that a little jealousy is healthy. I am not normally jealous of my wife, for instance, if I see some dude checking her out, I am proud because she's mine.
However, if I see some guy lingering a little too long on a handshake or a intro/goodbye hug, I get a stab of jealousy. That's MY wife he's pawing!!
I know it makes her happy to see me get a little jealous once in a while. She knows that I'm crazy about her...


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Oh, I am not gonna go coocoo at the table of of a resturant (an ally next door maybe LOL) 

He did spend 18 years with a wife who stepped out, but has never shown any jealousy with me before. I think he was a little taken aback since this is a new thing for me (black patent leather shoes ad the thigh highs anyway) but really I think they are fun as hell HAHA I would wear them near every day if I could find the right pair. 

I want him to be comfortable with me putting on the show for HIM. I know he loves my plain jane stuff (even mentioned how he loves me in my jeans and simple cardigan with birds... SHUT UP TRENTON HAAAAA) but I really do love to dress up once in a while. I always have. I used to throw on a skirt and put on make up ad all just to go sit on his couch and watch a movie  I just updated (via retro) my style a bit. I am basically wearing some of the things I have been telling him for years that I LOVE but couldn't find anywhere, at least couldn't find that looked good on me.

I can see the shoes and thigh highs being just for fun, but I can't give up the snazzing up a bit here and there, or wanting to be a touch more in style. I know he likes the plain jane, but dammit, I lost some weight last year and now I want to wear the skinny jeans, high heels and cute tops!!!! I LIKE how I look in them


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

DanF said:


> I think that a little jealousy is healthy. I am not normally jealous of my wife, for instance, if I see some dude checking her out, I am proud because she's mine.
> However, if I see some guy lingering a little too long on a handshake or a intro/goodbye hug, I get a stab of jealousy. That's MY wife he's pawing!!
> I know it makes her happy to see me get a little jealous once in a while. She knows that I'm crazy about her...


THAT would turn me on... if it was only if the situation warranted it (in fact I might just set a moment up to see him get a little huffy, but not to the point of acting on it, just that look in his eye that would get me hot) But I also think it would only work if he could get around to that proud feeling first. 

I am 36, he just turned 49 and I know the age thing gets him, so maybe it's that? Not sure.... The age thing doesn't bother me at all, I don't see him as looking 49. He is no adonis, but then I wouldn't want him if he was. Sure, we may have looked totally mismatched the other night, but to ME that is part of the fun!! I love when we look mismatched and I love walking into a place all dressed up with my arm around HIM. I am fine with how he dresses and such, I just happen to like to have more fun with my dressing (I think he owns one buttoned shirt HAAAAAA Seriously He has that ONE all purpose funeral/wedding suit that I think he has had since the reagan administration LMAO) BUt I am totally fine with that.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm going to go with the age difference and the former wife cheating causing insecurity issues... Not sure what you can do about it besides just letting him know that you're dressing up just for him, and have eyes only for him. And I think you're definitely right that pushing his jealousy button a bit is something you should only consider AFTER things are under control. Pushing it deliberately now would be very bad.

Good luck! I love the fact that my partner can look great in Lululemon yoga pants and a t-shirt when lounging around the house, but can turn heads of men and women when she choses to dress up. She's a big shoe and lingerie fan as well, which I REALLY appreciate too!  As far as the thigh highs go, I always figured nobody should be able to tell that's what you're wearing (as opposed to regular pantyhose), right?  That's one of those hidden and inside secrets for just the two of you to know.

C


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

DanF said:


> *I think that a little jealousy is healthy*. I am not normally jealous of my wife, for instance, if I see some dude checking her out, I am proud because she's mine.
> However, if I see some guy lingering a little too long on a handshake or a intro/goodbye hug, I get a stab of jealousy. That's MY wife he's pawing!!
> I know it makes her happy to see me get a little jealous once in a while. She knows that I'm crazy about her...


Sorry, answering for my husband , he would never post. 

He would feel *exactly* as DanF just stated above. 

Once we went camping, the whole family swimming, he was watching the kids more on the shallow end while some good looking guy struck up a conversation with me in the deeper end (husband knows what I like -rock star type - long hair). We talked for some time over there, laughing. He admitted he was "just a little jealous" of that afterwards, but he does not mind who I talk too, he knows I enjoy conversing with others a great deal. Communcation is my thing! 

He has never been the jealous type, has never worried about My intentions- as I have never given him a reason too (so far), so I know this helps! I always tell him every drop of my conversations later anyway, sparing none of the fun. 

Although he DOES worry about THE intentions of others who might start talking to me or looking, that is HIS only concern. He eventually made his way over to us & they enjoyed some conversation also. It was fun. We like to meet different people. 

I really appreciate his attitude. And I feel EXACTLY the same as he does in these matters. I get a charge out of women talking to him, love to get a little jealous! fires my engines.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

I think maybe I need to work him into my inner deviant LMAO... I don't think he is used to that. From what I understand (and from what I have been able to figure out from obvious things) his sex life with the ex was sorely lacking in excitement, experimentation and lacking a woman who knows what is fun for her (He is certainly not opposed to that kind of thing LOL) I asked once, and was told that she had never O'd (from what she said) during sex or even alone OMG!!!! Which means he was a bit of a blank slate when i got him HAHA (good and bad there).

I guess I need to tone down for a while when we go out, and just stock up for fun at home... BUT if you ever checked the prices on the fun stuff OMG seems a waste to buy it just to wear long enough to have it ripped off LMAO (not like we are gonna put a stripper pole up anywhere HEHE)

I kinda think I need to dress up a bit sometimes... I think I like the idea of him being a little afraid of what others are seeing. One of my major issue with him are around the fact that I get off on the persuing while he gets too comfortable. Maybe that will work as a little reminder that not only am i worth the effort, but he may want to do something to keep my eye on HIM (not that he ever has to worry for real, but it's nice to seem him want to impress LOL) Sounds like a game, and maybe it is, but I think it's a game that's fine as long as it remains subtle and just hints a bit here and there.

Still, until he is more comfortable with it, I might have to tone down a couple of things unless he is in the mood.  I thought I looked damn good LOL


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I am not a jealous person. I tend not to be suspicious of people unless I have some kind of reason to doubt them. And I really woulnd not care either way unless I thought the consequences of something were or could be harmful. On the other hand, if she were spending time with someone else, it wouldn't be with me slowing turning my life into crud either. So it's win win for everyone.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

My SO seems worried about what other men would be thinking, while I wouldn't care what other women were thinking LOL Maybe it's just me? Hell I would get off if I thought other women were looking at him that way while I got to take him home (not a likely thing to happen LOL but still...)


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I think it has to do with your SO being a lot older than you and not that versed in the area of romance as well as having bad luck with women. You're now like his young, hot thing; whereas when you two met you were his guy pal/chick with benefits.

I don't think you realize that you up'ed into the female/male game/dance that you don't think you are interested in playing. The truth is that women enjoy celebrating their femininity and it is as large a part of us as looking at women is to men. It is empowering.

Your welcome for the dress


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Good girl!! Sounds like a awesome night to me!!

My wife likes to get dressed up and if I could wear jeans/shirt and never get dressed up a again I would be sure I would be in heaven.

Again sounds like something my wife and I would do, but I would definitely get the hotel for the whole night! 

As far as jealousy none, zero, nada, my wife has been hit on at the beach by a studly guy 10 years my junior with me just 20ft behind her, at Walmart getting a Redbox DVD, and at a bar when I went to the bathroom.

That's life it lets us no we're alive right!! You know who your going home with, so he just has insecurities that's all!!

Best of luck and continue doing stuff like this!


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Trenton said:


> I think it has to do with your SO being a lot older than you and not that versed in the area of romance as well as having bad luck with women. You're now like his young, hot thing; whereas when you two met you were his guy pal/chick with benefits.
> 
> I don't think you realize that you up'ed into the female/male game/dance that you don't think you are interested in playing. The truth is that women enjoy celebrating their femininity and it is as large a part of us as looking at women is to men. It is empowering.
> 
> Your welcome for the dress


HAAA Ya it is an AWESOME dress, I need MORE HAHA.. but your are right, though I have always thrown in some fun outfits for no reason, (friday just took it to a new level HAHA) There has always been bedroom fun, and a few cute or sexy outfits here and there. I think the shoes did him in HAHA Wait till he gets a load of the demonia's I want LMAO

I don't want to play a game so much with him, I do hope he ends up enjoying it because i do like to look good (my version of it) as well as what he likes. I have always LIKED the femininity I just haven't always embraced it so much. It's fun. If it ends up bothering him big time, I will just pull it out once in a while for behind closed doors, but I do secretly really hope he gets OK with it out in public


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## madimoff (Feb 17, 2010)

I think cheating ex's have a lot to answer for in terms of unwarranted levels of jealousy - a few years back we had two incidents in two weeks which caused MONTHS (probably more) of stress etc & now thinking about it I'm probably paying the price for OH's ex having an affair: 1st I was with a woman friend talking about a musician at a concert we were all at, OH saw us looking, giggling & I told him (honestly) that we'd been just generally checking him out with neither of us ANY intentions other than that (both our OHs being there, not that that's relevant!) 2nd being at another event & a chap in tight white trousers walks in front of me & later I get the third degree for having looked at his crotch (didn't even realise particularly that I had) - I admitted (honestly) that I'd just been wondering whether you'd get away with or without briefs under such trousers!
OMG the fallout from those two doesn't bear thinking about yet he knows I meant nothing, etc etc


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