# I'm Jealous



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

I'm jealous of people who get to go through the divorce process without children. This has been the toughest part of accepting my wife doesn't love me anymore, not being able to see my two beautiful children every day. Feels like a knife in the gut twisting me.


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## KatiezMomma (Nov 17, 2011)

Same here. When I found out about his PA and it was just me, I would have just packed my stuff up and left but we have a daughter who just adores her dad. I put her happiness before my own as it should be but am pissed that wasn't the case for him. His happiness is paramount at the moment. I am mad that because of his crappy choices I am now leaving the only home she has ever know, see her half the time (and as a SAHM for the past number of years, this just kills me), will have to worry about money, have half the retirement money that we had planned on, and lost my best friend of 15 years. 

Deeeeepppp cleansing breathsssssss.........


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Oh yeah, I lost my best friend in my "old" wife that I had for 11 years. She still tries to talk to me at night after I talk with the kids like we are friends. She said she wants us to be friends after the divorce. She doesn't know however that I know about her emotional affair. I'm getting really close to just telling her talk to me about the kids or the divorce, that's it


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## LEDWA1982 (Sep 23, 2011)

Well if it makes you feel better, I am a bit jealous of those that have children while going through seperation/divorce. Everyone has told me to thank my lucky stars that we do not have kids---and I get that. But I would like to see a R, and all my research on the topic seems to indicate those that have children are more motivated to try to work it out---sometimes that is. My husband is dead set on not working on anything and I do feel it would have been different (yes I know possibly the same outcome...but for me at this point its the refusal to not even try that baffles me...I mean why get married if you didn't want to do the work?) had my pregnancy survived. But with that said, I do have a 5 yr old niece that is like my daughter that was absolutely in love with her uncle and it kills me to see how she has been impacted. She asked about him on a daily basis, when am I going home, etc. and all I can say is I do not know. I wonder if he thinks about her, he was pretty much the father figure in her life since she was 2. I'm just hoping that she is still young enough, that if we do not R, that she will forget all about him eventually. I was always very careful about who I brought home to meet the family, and I honestly never thought I would be the one that would bring a man in and out of her life---Lesson learned I suppose.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> I'm jealous of people who get to go through the divorce process without children..


I can assure you it's still extremely painful when there is a divorce without childre. Why aren't you with your kids? If she wants out then she should leave. U and ur kids should stay in the marital home. U shouldn't uproot ur or their lives to accommodate your walkaway wife. If she wants out, she should leave.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Suemolly (Jun 19, 2011)

I sometimes can't help going through the thoughts that maybe if we have kids, he would not have left/cheated/acted irresponsibly etc. I know those are furthest from the truth, but still, I can't help thinking that way. I also think that betrayed spouses with children tend to be more motivated to stay strong and do positive things during and after the divorce, for the sake of the children. Us without kids have less to motivate us each day we wake up, and tend to do more destructive things to deal with the pain. That said, I am glad I don't have kids with that terrible husband of mine. The thought of carrying that man's baby inside me seems repulsive now.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

LEDWA1982 said:


> Well if it makes you feel better, I am a bit jealous of those that have children while going through seperation/divorce. Everyone has told me to thank my lucky stars that we do not have kids---and I get that. But I would like to see a R, and all my research on the topic seems to indicate those that have children are more motivated to try to work it out---sometimes that is.


I'm in the same boat. My stbxw is separating from me, saying she needs time and space to figure things out (her career, whether we're compatible). I feel if we dealt with a few issues we'd be able to more forward, but the separation is inevitable. We don't have kids, and I know that would complicate matters, but part of me wonders if it would have helped keep is together. Kids would have certainly given us someone else to focus on. It has been a rough 4 weeks.


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

Seeing my separated wife almost burst into tears after seeing our little dog today, I too wondered if having a child would've made a difference in her eagerness to leave our marriage without the slightest hesitation.

I know having a kid makes divorce a lot more complicated, but that complication also makes people think twice before calling it quits. 

In any case, I think the world needs less children observing the broken lifestyle that is imposed on the modern urban family. It just creates more depression and complex social disasters that humans are not able to cope with in general.


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## bmichael (Jan 8, 2012)

Well, we have six kids and my wife is finding no problem on walking out on us without even trying to work on things.

She's been having an emotional affair, that I exposed, and she's dead set on leaving. At least she says she is. She still isn't making a move and I wish she would. I'm sick of limbo.


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## Cheesy (Aug 3, 2011)

Hi all...believe me having children makes little to no difference in whether they walk away. It does make it much more difficult though, mainly becuase of the amount of organisation required at a time of immense stress and upset. I have 3...aged 7,6 and 3...I get to see them when I want but it's not the same for me or them and they are very confused. In some ways I'd say the amount of organisation and dealing with the kids makes it less likely of R becuase you get down the road so much quicker without being able to give each other the space needed....too much changed too quick for things to ever go back to anything like what they were


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## Cheesy (Aug 3, 2011)

oh...and i also forgot to mention...in the case of a walkaway wife like mine...having kids just gives them another line to throw at you...to add to the in love with you but not in love with you...you also get the 'we shouldn't just stay together for the kids'...

it takes a lot of time and work (on yourself) but things do get gradually better


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