# Kinky Sex



## sniper (Dec 5, 2013)

Wife thinks being a dominatrix is sick and wrong but enjoys twisting my nipples, slapping my penis, and pinching my butt to force me to thrust when being given a BJ. I believe she is sexually repressed and afraid to admit her true desires to herself and to me (even though she knows I would be ok with it).

She is very self disciplined and controlled. But I believe her notions of it being wrong and her strong discipline keep her from being free and is causing problems for us in the bedroom.

What can I do to help her?


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## misty rain (Dec 27, 2013)

That's a pretty tough one. It could be many reasons. Maybe she had a past relationship where she felt open and free and was made fun of. She could have closed herself off to ever being hurt like that again by not allowing herself to be put in that position. Could also be that she truly doesn't want to go any further with it. I know how this is. It's not easy for everyone to feel comfortable enough to explore more with their spouse and it's unfortunate because it does make it very difficult in the bedroom.


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## Maneo (Dec 4, 2012)

Sounds like your wife enjoys taking a dominant role in the bedroom. Maybe use different words to describe/discuss what she and you like. Dominatrix may conjure up negative images and feelings for her so don't worry so much about labeling ir defining it as just doing it. And if you enjoy what she does, hope you are letting her know that.
Or by asking what you can do to help her another way of saying that you want things to more explicit in terms of dominant and submissive play in the bedroom?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

If she's already walking the talk, just doesn't wear a name tag, what's the problem?

Maybe your question is actually, "How can I get her to wear the Domme gear and say the Domme words?" 

She needs to understand the difference between being a sexual Domme and also having a strong husband. Let her see you being the strong one outside so she can be the Domme inside. 

Talk about various turn ONS you both have. Make sure that he sexual aggression is something she does because she likes it, as opposed to so,etching she does because she knows you like it.

I top my H every now and then....because he likes it, not because I like it. I'm happy to make him happy, but I'm not happy being a Domme.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

She's pinching you to make you thrust deeper and more aggressively into her mouth? Are you sure she doesn't want to be more submissive?


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

I think that if she is already doing those things, she has NO reservation from kink, she might not know how to talk about it though. It sounds silly but is very real.

I am sort of similar. I love to push the envelope sexually. For example I sometimes like to be choked, spanked, slapped (gentle) in the face while making love to Dh. 

When he brings it up the next day or cracks a joke about it, I shut down and get really ashamed. I have learned though to tell him if you want to talk about that you have to put your DiXk in me. It's difficult to explain. Just roll with it and be happy she is so free to do those things.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

sniper said:


> Wife thinks being a dominatrix is sick and wrong but enjoys twisting my nipples, slapping my penis, and pinching my butt to force me to thrust when being given a BJ. I believe she is sexually repressed and afraid to admit her true desires to herself and to me (even though she knows I would be ok with it).
> 
> She is very self disciplined and controlled. But I believe her notions of it being wrong and her strong discipline keep her from being free and is causing problems for us in the bedroom.
> 
> What can I do to help her?


Do nothing. You are over thinking this. Why would this cause problems in your bedroom?? Your'e wife has a wild side, enjoy it.

I love getting downright nasty and dirty during sex with my Dh. He calls me his personal *****, funny though cause he popped my cherry 26 years ago. I love it never the less.


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

Define kinky?

My wife thinks BJ's are disgusting and has never done it. In most relationships it is perfectly normal.

In some relationships, the woman massaging her mans prostate is perfectly normal...to others its kinky.

Handcuffing each other is kinky to some but part of everyday sex to others.

So what IS kinky?!


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Tequila works for me!


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

When she does these things do you give positive feedback? Like ooh I like that or something to that effect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MrHappy (Oct 23, 2008)

Not enough info if she is Dom or sub or maybe switch. I would just talk to her about fantasies. If she clams up just let her know it hurts your feelings that she can't be open with you. You love her no matter what her preferences are and not telling is worse than anything you two might not agree upon.

Does she read any erotica/romance? Do a Kindle/Nook check and see what she reads. Maybe read something together and see what peaks here interest. LitErotica is free.


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## Anubis (Jul 12, 2011)

This could very well be an issue of the two of you saying the same words but meaning different things. What if whenever she hears "dominatrix", the only thing she visualizes is Rosie O'Donnell wrapped in leather in Exit to Eden? :rofl:

When it comes to things like kink, bedroom play, D/s and power dynamics, it often takes a lot of work / discussion to truly get on exactly the same page as your partner. Nothing unusual about it, just one of those '72 words for snow' sort of topics...


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Anubis said:


> This could very well be an issue of the two of you saying the same words but meaning different things. What if whenever she hears "dominatrix", the only thing she visualizes is Rosie O'Donnell wrapped in leather in Exit to Eden? :rofl:
> 
> When it comes to things like kink, bedroom play, D/s and power dynamics, it often takes a lot of work / discussion to truly get on exactly the same page as your partner. Nothing unusual about it, just one of those '72 words for snow' sort of topics...


Thanks alot I just threw up in my mouth. On the good side that 4 hour erection I had from taking Viagra is now gone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anxiousbones (Sep 9, 2012)

Bring up the topic at a safe point, like over lunch the next day. Tell her you liked it when she did ____. Whatever it was. If she is really straightlaced most of the time but wild in the bedroom, maybe she just needs some praise or reinforcement to help her be more comfortable with that side of herself. I know some women who truly feel like a difference person when they walk through the bedroom door. It can be very freeing but confusing for their spouse.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

anxiousbones said:


> Bring up the topic at a safe point, like over lunch the next day. Tell her you liked it when she did ____. Whatever it was. If she is really straightlaced most of the time but wild in the bedroom, maybe she just needs some praise or reinforcement to help her be more comfortable with that side of herself. I know some women who truly feel like a difference person when they walk through the bedroom door. It can be very freeing but confusing for their spouse.


Yes!! :iagree::iagree::iagree:

Hence the phrase, "Lady in the streets but a FREAK in the sheets"


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