# loosing it in sfla



## lost dad in sfla. (Aug 13, 2012)

Ok, so after moving to sfla over a year ago, the marriage just kept getting worse, to the point of self medicating with alcohol while making dinner as well as hiding it from her. We moved here for my wife's career as she found new employment, I left my job of many years to take care of the children. My social / coping net here is nonexistent. My wife doesn't want to be in the marriage any longer, has talked to a lawyer and over the weekend we went to a family consoler where my wife said she doesn't want to stay together. She wants me to get a job and then will proceed with the divorce. I am at a loss I know how the drinking will be looked at. I admit it was not the proper way to handle our problems. Prior to that I was still the primary care giver to my children I worked overnights and took care of the children during the day from 10 - 11ish am until 4 - 6 pm while my wife worked a reduced work schedule. I am non degreed, worked in transportation made decent money, however with out the degree and a lack of Spanish, I will have start at the bottom and try to work up a ladder again. But I can't imagine not taking care of my children, my daughter will start AVPK program in a few days 3 hours of pre - school a day but my son is still a year away. I know this is a long ramble but am looking for some support!


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Well if she's the one planning on filing of course she wants you to get a job, so she won't have to pay you as much alimony. You need to talk to a lawyer too but I'm sure he'll say don't get a job until after the divorce.


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## lost dad in sfla. (Aug 13, 2012)

Just to add Her parents live a 10min walk or 2 min car ride away and are very involved with the children, so her thoughts are the grand mother will help out more while pushing me away, That is a pattern she has had with many relationships at work with my mother, her sister. Even if she says otherwise!


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

BeachGuy said:


> Well if she's the one planning on filing of course she wants you to get a job, so she won't have to pay you as much alimony. You need to talk to a lawyer too but I'm sure he'll say don't get a job until after the divorce.


Thats what my ex's lawyer told him...bum. 








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