# Why?



## plummypie (Aug 2, 2014)

I have been divorced now for over a year. I was married for 9 (when I was 19) years to a military member. We had little sex, never bought me any gifts, or anything like that. He tells me when he gets back from deployment that he slept with a 17 your old before he deployed. This was a 17 yr old boy, he was molested as a child by a male cousin. We stayed together for 2 more years living the same way as before. He started hanging out with younger people. Older teenagers and early 20s. He started having this one kid over all the time. It bothered me. But after he filed for divorce I started dating a wonderful man. But why is it I feel extremely sadden by my ex. He is still looking for a new women to love him. Why did this happen to me? How stupid can I be. But I feel guilty. He said I left him for another man, but what about all of the above stuff he did. I am just deeply sadden by this.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

You are divorced. It is time to move on. Do you have kids with your ex? If no, cut him out of your life, go NC.

Find a competent counselor for some IC. It really does help. Your marriage was not healthy. 

Move forward with your life. He was a mistake from your past. That is why he is your EX.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You need some pretty intense, deep counselling. CBT might help. (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds like he needs a wife to cover for his homosexual preference for 17 year olds. So he's looking for some other woman to fool in the same way he fooled you. 

Why on earth would you feel badly for an adult male who hides his sexual orientation and uses women to hide his using teens and young adults?


I agree that you need to get into counseling.


You also need to stop talking to him. Don't listen to his nonsense. that way it cannot bother you.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

plummypie said:


> Why did this happen to me? How stupid can I be. But I feel guilty. He said I left him for another man.


It was the luck of the draw baby girl; nothing else. Be glad you got rid of this "switch hitter" before he gave you something you can't get rid of. Stupid would be if you stayed with clown.


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