# She filed and now will not sign



## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

Ok the STBEW filed for a divorce last February and still will not sing the papers. WTH?? If she didnt want this why file? I know I had my screw ups we all do but really? 8 months into this and all she has to do is sign the papers! Now if I make new friends and I mean friends the STBX jumps in and crashes them for me. And its not just with the ladys its male friends too. Its funny but at the same time its sad becuase the new poeple that I meet everytime I see them its like what has she said or done this time? At first we all joked about it thinking that it would stop but it hasnt and now Im going nuts! Its like she is hellbent to see to it that I have NO personal life. And one have any ideas or has been through this? Please put a little light on this for me so I will not go nuts. I tired of the light at the end of the tunnel being a train come at me lol .


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## inmygut (Apr 2, 2011)

attmay13 said:


> Ok the STBEW filed for a divorce last February and still will not sing the papers. WTH?? If she didnt want this why file? I know I had my screw ups we all do but really? 8 months into this and all she has to do is sign the papers! Now if I make new friends and I mean friends the STBX jumps in and crashes them for me. And its not just with the ladys its male friends too. Its funny but at the same time its sad becuase the new poeple that I meet everytime I see them its like what has she said or done this time? At first we all joked about it thinking that it would stop but it hasnt and now Im going nuts! Its like she is hellbent to see to it that I have NO personal life. And one have any ideas or has been through this? Please put a little light on this for me so I will not go nuts. I tired of the light at the end of the tunnel being a train come at me lol .


Maybe a restraining order?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Shes busy ruining your life and taking notes to make you look "unfit" in court.
you need to take the initiative and follow thru with the papers.
Contact her lawyer, or whatever it takes.
Get a restraining order placed on her.

Take notes, perhaps a mental evaluation by a court ordered psychotherapist is in order for her.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You do know that a judge will sign for her, right?

Request the final divorce date at court and be done. 

She does not have to sign anything and the divorce will still be granted.


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

Yes I do understand that a judge will sing the papers for her and end it. However with her being the one that filed and not me will the judge grant the divorce or will I have to go back and refile? Plus after its all said and done will the BS stop? Is this normal or what? I have thought about the restraining order however I would like to have the divorce over with 1st. Then I would hope it will stop but if not thats when I want to hit her with the restraining order. but I just dont know! Will this ever stop?


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

Shooboomafoo said:


> Take notes, perhaps a mental evaluation by a court ordered psychotherapist is in order for her.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## gearhead65 (Aug 25, 2011)

She only wants a divorce if you desperately need her. Act clingly and needy and she'll sign in no time. You moving on is not something she can handle. Not signing the papers is the only way for her to still hold it over you.

GearHead


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

gearhead65 said:


> She only wants a divorce if you desperately need her. Act clingly and needy and she'll sign in no time. You moving on is not something she can handle. Not signing the papers is the only way for her to still hold it over you.
> 
> GearHead


Ok thats one that I never thought about, but its not like Im "moving on" with someone else. I cant have friends at all. But I will try the needy and clingly. That could be the best action at this point!:smthumbup:


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How does she stop you from moving on and having a life? How does she know if you've got new friends?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

attmay13 said:


> Yes I do understand that a judge will sing the papers for her and end it. However with her being the one that filed and not me will the judge grant the divorce or will I have to go back and refile? Plus after its all said and done will the BS stop? Is this normal or what? I have thought about the restraining order however I would like to have the divorce over with 1st. Then I would hope it will stop but if not thats when I want to hit her with the restraining order. but I just dont know! Will this ever stop?


Do you have a lawyer? Ask your attorney.

If not, call up the courthouse to see how you can get the ball rolling. 

I don't understand how she has any bearing on your new friends.


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

PBear said:


> How does she stop you from moving on and having a life? How does she know if you've got new friends?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


thats the $1,000,000 question! I think that is a rat in the group. And as far as how she keeps me from moving on she will find my new friends and trash talk me into the ground. Although most of them think she is nuts it is driving me totally crazy. And what if not that Im looking but what if someone that I really like comes around then she get to her and kills anything before it can start?


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Do you have a lawyer? Ask your attorney.
> 
> If not, call up the courthouse to see how you can get the ball rolling.
> 
> I don't understand how she has any bearing on your new friends.


yes i have a lawyer and I have them on speeddail. I call them everyday yes everyday over this and the hold up is my STBX. They have told her lawyer that if this is not done with by the middle of the month they are going to push for a hearing


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## TimeHeals (Sep 26, 2011)

attmay13 said:


> what if someone that I really like comes around then she get to her and kills anything before it can start?


Get your divorce finalized before you date anybody. 

Talk to your attorney and see what your options are.

As for worrying about her ruining something with another woman before or after the divorce, kitty cats compete, so I wouldn't worry about it.

You wouldn't be the first man with a crazy ex, but you will be a wimp who doesn't protect himself because he's afraid of his crazy ex if you allow yourself to be that man.


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

gearhead65 said:


> She only wants a divorce if you desperately need her. Act clingly and needy and she'll sign in no time. You moving on is not something she can handle. Not signing the papers is the only way for her to still hold it over you.
> 
> GearHead


absolutely agreed!


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

TimeHeals said:


> Get your divorce finalized before you date anybody.
> 
> Talk to your attorney and see what your options are.
> 
> ...


well like I said in my post Im not looking but what if? thats my point. I am not a wimp however I would like for the divorce to go the rest of the way with as little BS as has to be. These people that she is doing this to are FRIENDS only male and female! I call my lawyer daily and see whats going on. I cant speed this up anymore then I have! Like stated above my lawyer will be pushing for a hearing at the middle of the month. I dont see how I can "protect" myself more. I not afraid to protect myself in any means, however I just want this to stop and was asking for ideas and to see if there are other people that have gone through this type of thing


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## gearhead65 (Aug 25, 2011)

Be the most clingy co-dependent version of yourself you can. Even if she trash talks you to your friends about how needy you've become, who would believe her? Especially after how she has acted. You've got nothing to lose. Be waiting on her when she gets home, make a huge scene, plead with her not to divorce you and to work things out. She'll run into the house and sign the papers. When she gives them to you break down and cry for 15 minutes curled up in a ball on the floor. 

I think that would do it.


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

gearhead65 said:


> Be the most clingy co-dependent version of yourself you can. Even if she trash talks you to your friends about how needy you've become, who would believe her? Especially after how she has acted. You've got nothing to lose. Be waiting on her when she gets home, make a huge scene, plead with her not to divorce you and to work things out. She'll run into the house and sign the papers. When she gives them to you break down and cry for 15 minutes curled up in a ball on the floor.
> 
> I think that would do it.


:lol::rofl::rofl::rofl:
Ok thats the best one I have heard. Now I have people at work thinking Im nut from LOL. Thats to good


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

I dont know your situation..but if your approaching that 10 yr mark on marriage..she could be holding out on you until you guys hit it. 

Just a thought


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## attmay13 (Mar 17, 2011)

Nikki1023 said:


> I dont know your situation..but if your approaching that 10 yr mark on marriage..she could be holding out on you until you guys hit it.
> 
> Just a thought


Nope nowhere close to ten years but I dont understand why she is doing this. After all its what she wanted.:scratchhead: I dont want to be mean about anything I just want her to stay out of my personal life and let me move on as well as herself.


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

Oh ok. Maybe its becoming real..and she dosent like the idea of not being able to put her input in, with regards to your life. 

I feel like ALOT of people throw the D word around..just to make their spouse know they are "serious" about their demands and expectations. Ive seen it before. 

She's just eating the sH$% she handed to you, and dosent like the taste of it.

Goodluck!


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## TimeHeals (Sep 26, 2011)

attmay13 said:


> well like I said in my post Im not looking but what if? thats my point. I am not a wimp however I would like for the divorce to go the rest of the way with as little BS as has to be. These people that she is doing this to are FRIENDS only male and female! I call my lawyer daily and see whats going on. I cant speed this up anymore then I have! Like stated above my lawyer will be pushing for a hearing at the middle of the month. I dont see how I can "protect" myself more. I not afraid to protect myself in any means, however I just want this to stop and was asking for ideas and to see if there are other people that have gone through this type of thing


If you don't like the drama, don't engage in it. Seems simple to me unless she gets so nutty you need a restraining order.

Absent some real threat, I don't see what the problem is. Grow a thicker skin and stop being baited.


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