# If you despise the opposite gender, why get married?



## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


Yes....clearly if this is accurate, they should not be married. It doesn't make sense does it.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Jimi007 said:


> Yes....clearly if this is accurate, they should not be married. It doesn't make sense does it.


There’s clearly a lot of differences between the genders and I can appreciate that. I also know enough that I won’t get married again and I am very upfront about that. However, there seems to be a part of the population that doesn’t like the opposite sex, but nevertheless commits themselves to marriage with them. How? Why? 🤷‍♂️


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

They may not have hated the opposite sex until after they were married. 

And some may simply hate their spouse so much the bitter towards that whole gender.


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

RebuildingMe said:


> There’s clearly a lot of differences between the genders and I can appreciate that. I also know enough that I won’t get married again and I am very upfront about that. However, there seems to be a part of the population that doesn’t like the opposite sex, but nevertheless commits themselves to marriage with them. How? Why? 🤷‍♂️


It's a great question 🤔...I want to say it's part of the human condition, but that wouldn't make sense. I think women are hard wired to procreate. And maybe some having done that then hate what they have gotten themselves into ? I don't know that there is an accurate answer , just opinions on the subject. HELL just look at some of the man haters on TAM... I ask myself the same question 😕


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I think a lot of people might have some anger and bitterness in them but not so much hate.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

I assume some women hate men because of something that happened in their past. For example, they hate their Dad for some reason and now think all men are bad.

But that’s a good question about why they marry. Maybe to have kids or because that’s what society says they should do?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SCDad01 said:


> I assume some women hate men because of something that happened in their past. For example, they hate their Dad for some reason and now think all men are bad.
> 
> But that’s a good question about why they marry. Maybe to have kids or because that’s what society says they should do?


I'm sure that there are some women seem to hate men for whatever reason. There are also some men who seem to hate women for whatever reason. It's most likely a self-protection mechanism.


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## Gregory Chaucery (12 mo ago)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


Maybe that person wants a scalp?


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

I really like the company of a woman, at times. Luckily I have one that doesn't want to cohabitate. Going on 11 years with her soon. They're out there.


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## QuietRiot (Sep 10, 2020)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


Thats an easy one! Boys have cooties. But sometimes they are irresistible cooties. 🙂

I’ve wondered this myself a few times honestly. I think, in some cases getting burned in a relationship (or thinking so) can turn people super bitter. I’ve seen it many times. Or perhaps they become bitter and disillusioned or disappointed in their current relationship and it’s just easier to blame the entire opposite gender instead of looking inward. Some people are kind of… injected with sexism from a parent, that could be your ex and her mom. I guess it could be a whole litany of reasons. People are messed up. More simply put.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently.


It could be the way your MIL raised her daughter and the way your ex is raising your daughter.

I think that people whose parents deeply love each other and stay married are great role models for their children and the people your children marry.

Then again there is the praying mantis theory where once a woman has sex with a man she will eat his head off.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

It happens with both genders, but I think it’s a minority.
On the women’s side, there are some bitter, chip-on-shoulder adversarial types that are absolutely insufferable. But you can usually identify them fairly quickly, they’re generally not good at hiding it.
And then you have the angry, MGTOW dudes who think all wamen are out to get them. In reality, they’re just losers who don’t know how to play the game and aren’t willing to learn.

Either way, they’re really not worth anyone’s time or attention, just be aware that they’re out there and try to steer clear.


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## moon7 (May 5, 2013)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?



If theyre both narcissists the answer is simple: to manipulate them.


For a narc, everything is a game. Its almost they dont know what reality is.


I know the vast majority of higher narc spectrum are men, so when it happens to be a woman we all get very blindsided, but google the caracterisyics and check if thats the case.


You willhave to work double with your kids to try to undo what they show them, bc higher narc spectrum is half genetics and half what you see home. Pray God helps you with your kids.l, it helps.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Maybe they don't like men or women much before getting married and then, when they do, their suspicion is confirmed. Or maybe they want children.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Young at Heart said:


> It could be the way your MIL raised her daughter and the way your ex is raising your daughter.
> 
> I think that people whose parents deeply love each other and stay married are great role models for their children and the people your children marry.
> 
> Then again there is the praying mantis theory where once a woman has sex with a man she will eat his head off.


Yes, I agree. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. If this is how ex was raised, this is how she will raise our daughter.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I understand that most are not born with this bitterness. The contempt probably happens over time when living with a person for a long time.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

In Absentia said:


> Maybe they don't like men or women much before getting married and then, when they do, their suspicion is confirmed. Or maybe they want children.


It’s funny but the happiest marriages I see in real life are the childless ones.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Remove marriage from the question.

Why do people who hate the opposite sex even try to date? Because the opposite sex is clearly of use to them.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

RebuildingMe said:


> It’s funny but the happiest marriages I see in real life are the childless ones.


You have a point...


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## BoSlander (6 mo ago)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


I have a communist (lesbian in the closet) aunt who openly hates men to the point that, during the last Christmas a few years back, she said couples ought to be given the chance to kill the newborn if it's a boy. THIS, as my 3 year old took his nap in the BoogaBoo.

I threw her out of the house because of this, and the family doesn't get together anymore because of the way I handled the situation. Everyone tried to minimize her behavior even though she was making some outlandish off-the-cuff comments but I had enough.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

I think a lot of people of both genders start to hate the opposite sex, once that urge in their crotch is gone....


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

RebuildingMe said:


> It’s funny but the happiest marriages I see in real life are the childless ones.


Some people are clueless on how much work it takes to raise children. They think, "hey everybody is having kids...let's do it too". It adds a lot of stress on marriages no doubt. And if you both aren't on the same page, it can crush a marriage.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

hamadryad said:


> I think a lot of people of both genders start to hate the opposite sex, once that urge in their crotch is gone....


My sex drive has an on/off switch unlike many people, and it's off at the moment. Yet I don't hate the opposite sex, that's just silly.

I think it's more due to what they are exposed to, if they have had decent women throughout their life even if the relationships didn't work out, like me, there's not much room for hate.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

hamadryad said:


> I think a lot of people of both genders start to hate the opposite sex, once that urge in their crotch is gone....


I do think that NRE can mask a lot of underlying issues for awhile. When the NRE wears off, the underlying issues come out.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

From the stories I’ve read on here, it honestly sounds like revenge is their reason. They marry, and literally spend the duration of their marriage mentally and emotionally abusing their spouses, until they divorce. And then they continue to abuse them during the divorce, as well. There are quite a few painful stories on here to that effect.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

How can the sexes _not _love one-another?
How can a man not love his own rib?
How can a woman not love her own bones?


*Circe-*


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

The key and the lock are purposed for that, in and out, up and down, porpoising.


*Circe-*


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

A woman’s soft form is made to be caressed by a man’s hands and soon soothed.
Those hands were, once calloused, soon smoothed.


*Circe-*


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

A man is built to stand very close and then to enter, a woman is built to take him in.
This is the purpose of the sexes, the rest of the pact between the two is helpful, but secondary.


*Circe-*


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Back in my mid 20s I was in a LTR with a woman that was a few years older than me. At first it was great and I thought I had hit one out of the ballpark. 

She had a very strong and forward personality - which I liked. She didn't take sht off anyone - which I liked. She was very upfront with what she liked and what she wanted as well as upfront about what she didn't want - which I liked. She was a good bit of a tomboy and liked outdoorsy stuff and wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty - which I liked. She was a self-proclaimed feminist and was all about equal rights and opportunity etc- which I thought was admirable. She had a very strong and assertive libido - which I LOVED! 

She was a seemingly great match for me initially and we even discussed a future together and she was upfront and clear that she wanted to get married, have a family etc etc. 

However as time wore on (or should I say as NRE wore off) she was getting more and more bitter and resentful and just seemed angry at me ALL THE TIME, 

This was all pretty much blamed on me. I wasn't loving enough. I wasn't compliant and accomidating enough. I wasn't sensitive to her feelings and her needs enough. I was selfish and self centered. I was too self indulgent in my own interests and hobbies etc. The sex always remained frequent and hot but I was still being blamed that men are horny pigs and just want to screw every female that walks. 

.......and the biggie is I wasn't committing soon enough or moving forward fast enough ( I was 26 at the time and making some educational and career changes. 

At first I was accepting the blame and I kept dancing harder and bending myself into pretzels to try to appease her and accommodate her, but it kept getting worse. Her anger and contempt were getting worse but it was becoming apparent that it wasn't just me, but was often being directed towards the whole male race. 

Now this was getting to be late 80s and at the height of the Oprah Winfrey manbasing era where basically all pop culture was oriented to bashing men, calling men scum, men were the root of all evil in the world, every sitcom and tv show portrayed men as complete bumbling idiots and bafoons etc so for a while I just thought it was a sign of the times. 

But as time went forward and she was getting more contemptuous, I began to shift from dancing harder and trying to appease her, to becoming fed up and angry and resentful myself. And as she pushed harder for commitment and bashing me for not stepping up to the plate and quote, "being a man" unquote,,,, I started pushing back and finally admitting that the relationship in it's current state was not working for me and that we would not be moving forward. She asked me to move in together - I said no. She gave me the ultimatum of being engaged in a year, "or else..." and I opted for the "or else."

Neither one of us technically broke up with the other at that point, but things took a heavy downhill spiral for a few weeks. 

I'll cut to the chase here... she basically came up with every excuse in the book for a couple weeks and I strongly suspected she had started seeing someone else.

I was right, she had met someone else and had started seeing that person and in less than a month was moving in with the other person.

I am sure you have all guessed the punchline long ago but I was young and naive at the time..... The other person was a WOMAN. 

Everything became chrystal clear at that point and everything made sense. 

cont...


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

I never worried about it. To use one of my favorite quotes: "There are no men like me, only me".


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

cont...

What was kind of freaky about it is she still DENIED it. She was claiming the "Just Friends" excuse. She never did actually admit to it at that time. 

Regardless, we ended things amicably and departed on good terms and went our separate ways. 

That was 30 years ago. 

A handful of years ago, I made a cross-country trip across the US visiting old friends and classmates that had scattered to the 4 corners of the earth and contacted her as she had moved away many years prior and was on the route to see some other friends. 

We got together and had a nice long chat about the course our lives had taken and reflected back on our relationship. 

She finally confessed decades later that she gay and had finally comes to terms with it and had been living a lesbian lifestyle since our break up. 

She said she did not have any daddy issues or any history of abuse or maltreatment by men, and that since coming to terms with her orientation she no longer manbashed or had any resentments towards men and actually like them quite a bit. ...... She just couldn't be in a relationship with them. She needed the emotional connection and bonding and closeness and affection that she could only get with women. 

She said she was sincere in that she loved me and wanted to marry me and have kids and a family with me,,, but as our relationship wore on, she just could no longer fight her actual nature (she was 30 when we split) 

She wanted to live the traditional lifestyle with the 2.2 kids and the little house with the white picket fence,,,, but she just couldn't achieve that 24/7 with a man. 

So where I am going with my little novel here is I wonder how many of these people that just seem to have an underlying resentment and incompatibility are,, shall we say,, better served by being with their own gender instead.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

*Deidre* said:


> From the stories I’ve read on here, it honestly sounds like revenge is their reason. They marry, and literally spend the duration of their marriage mentally and emotionally abusing their spouses, until they divorce. And then they continue to abuse them during the divorce, as well. There are quite a few painful stories on here to that effect.


It’s sad, but that is spot on. That was my marriage. After the kids were born, she became evil towards me and now is carrying that over to my son, who is still too young to get a full grasp of what’s going on. Why? Because he was born with a penis? She treats his twin sister like gold. Buys her whatever she wants. They already have a co-dependent relationship, just like ex has with her mother.

I do see the other stories and posts on here. It’s so clear they despise the opposite gender. It reads through so clearly. Yet they are married. How do they treat their spouses? Like dog meat?


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> cont...
> 
> What was kind of freaky about it is she still DENIED it. She was claiming the "Just Friends" excuse. She never did actually admit to it at that time.
> 
> ...


I’ve known and/or worked with several women who got divorced with kids to then get into a relationship with another woman. They are all in there 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. I think it’s more common then people realize. At least that makes sense to me. If my ex was with a woman, that would make perfect sense. But she’s not.


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

My 1st serious relationship I was 17 and fell in love, was pregnant by 20 had baby at 21. Short story he was physically, mentally, emotionally abusive. I got black eyes, bruises on body, big gash back of my head lots of blood, nose bleeds, punched, kicked, hit with objects. He wasn't violent when I met him, but as soon as he put that engagement ring on my finger he changed. I'd left home, nowhere to go etc and even took an overdose. Falling pregnant saved my life. I left because I wasn't going to bring my baby up in an abusive home. 

The reason for talking about above, I absolutely hated all men after that. 

What I do know now is not all men are monsters. I'm 55 now and the last man to hit me was that ex when I was 20 years old. For 35 years I can honestly say I haven't met 1 bad man and I've met hundreds lol. There are many many many good, decent men in this world. It's the women you have to watch lol.



Sent from my SM-G970F using Tapatalk


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> So where I am going with my little novel here is I wonder how many of these people that just seem to have an underlying resentment and incompatibility are,, shall we say,, better served by being with their own gender instead.


So the TLDR version is I wonder if for SOME people, it's not really "hate" per se, especially if it is in the absence of any abuse or mistreatment by opposite sex or any daddy or mommy issues or anything. 

But rather the result of chronic, long term frustration and dissatisfaction of people of the opposite sex not meeting their needs due their basic orientation. They don't 'hate' the opposite sex, and in fact may really like them and feel a kinship with them and relate well to them platonically. 

But to be partnered with them leads them to become chronically frustrated and exasperated because there is no yin/yang type connection. 

The chronic frustration and dissatisfaction leads to resentment. Resentment leads to bitterness. And if allowed to continue, bitterness leads to hate. And as we all learned from Master Yoda, hate leads to suffering.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

RebuildingMe said:


> I’ve known and/or worked with several women who got divorced with kids to then get into a relationship with another woman. They are all in there 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. I think it’s more common then people realize. At least that makes sense to me. If my ex was with a woman, that would make perfect sense. But she’s not.


I've had close personal relationships with 2 lesbians and had a 3way with one of them and her female partner in my lifetime. 
In my naivette' I always thought that lesbianism was a sexual thing and that gay chicks simply found women prettier and sexier and softer etc than men. I mean, don't we all. 

However of the ones that I have known intimately, all were horndogs. all were very highly sexual and loved the schlong and had had high-energy sexual relationships with men. 

All of them wanted to have traditional home and family and little house with the white picket fence. 

There was just something inside them that prevented them from making that final click into place with men in a mutually satisfying LTR. 

You can feel their frustration and exasperation, and it does boil over into resentment. 

I think if any of these gals had married and had kids with a typical man, it would have ended with much resentment and anger. 

No matter how adaptable accommodating a typical man can be, the one thing he cannot be is a woman.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


In the case of my ex-MIL, she is a hardcore feminist. Like the hardcore ones from the 70s. 

She is very aggressive and forward with her views. Very much the opposite of the sneaky manipulation tactics of my exwife. Needless to say, ex-MIL never liked me. 😂 

Of course the feeling was mutual. 

At least I had a good run and kept her from completely brain washing her daughter for at least a little while, but I ended up losing in the end. She had too much influence over my exwife. It’s why I put in so much effort to thwart the feminists here from converting more good women. 

Anywho, why did my ex-MIL marry my ex-FIL?

Power. 

She LOVES power. My ex-FIL is the simpiest simp that ever simped. Oh the stories I have. She married him because she loves having power over him. The way she treats him is exactly what her kind love to do. That guy is always under her thumb. She would demean him any chance she had. In public. In my house. In their house. It was constant. 

Some people are just messed up in the head and get a lot of enjoyment out of treating others like garbage.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> It’s sad, but that is spot on. That was my marriage. After the kids were born, she became evil towards me and now is carrying that over to my son, who is still too young to get a full grasp of what’s going on. Why? Because he was born with a penis? She treats his twin sister like gold. Buys her whatever she wants. They already have a co-dependent relationship, just like ex has with her mother.
> 
> I do see the other stories and posts on here. It’s so clear they despise the opposite gender. It reads through so clearly. Yet they are married. How do they treat their spouses? Like dog meat?


One of my biggest life long goals here. Thankfully, my exwife isn’t as terrible as her mother, but she is still pretty damn bad. 

I am going to do everything I can to break this cycle. I do not want my daughter to end up like her mother or grand mother. I want my daughter to be a normal person that treats everyone with kindness and respect.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

RebuildingMe said:


> It’s sad, but that is spot on. That was my marriage. After the kids were born, she became evil towards me and now is carrying that over to my son, who is still too young to get a full grasp of what’s going on. Why? Because he was born with a penis? She treats his twin sister like gold. Buys her whatever she wants. They already have a co-dependent relationship, just like ex has with her mother.
> 
> I do see the other stories and posts on here. It’s so clear they despise the opposite gender. It reads through so clearly. Yet they are married. How do they treat their spouses? Like dog meat?


I’m sorry this happened to you. 

Not to defend these types of people but their behavior may stem from abuse or neglect etc from the opposite sex parent when they were growing up. Like your son may grow up to not trust women because of your ex wife/his mom, and the cycle goes on…I’m just guessing, but either way, it is not fun to be on the receiving end of someone like your ex. No matter what you did, it probably was never enough.

I hope you are in a better relationship now or you will find one, someday.☀


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

RebuildingMe said:


> I’ve known and/or worked with several women who got divorced with kids to then get into a relationship with another woman. They are all in there 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. I think it’s more common then people realize. At least that makes sense to me. If my ex was with a woman, that would make perfect sense. But she’s not.


I have seen a lot of that as well....But from what I hear and know, these relationships aren't sexual...They are more like a partnership of like values and life goals..

Let's face it....women generally love the company of other women...


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

hamadryad said:


> I have seen a lot of that as well....But from what I hear and know, these relationships aren't sexual...They are more like a partnership of like values and life goals..
> 
> Let's face it....women generally love the company of other women...


I believe I read somewhere that lesbians have the least amount of sex out of any partnership and gay men have the most. Which makes sense when you pair men and women up, it’s usually the man complaining about the lack of sex in the relationship. I often wondered if these women become lesbians later in life because they don’t want to be sexual anymore?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

hamadryad said:


> I have seen a lot of that as well....But from what I hear and know, these relationships aren't sexual...They are more like a partnership of like values and life goals..
> 
> Let's face it....women generally love the company of other women...


A lot of lesbian relationships can start out very sexual and then within a fairly short period of time become almost sexless. 

They are still more comfortable and feel more kinship and companionate than they would a man, but for a lot of lesbian relationships, the sexual component fades away fairly quickly.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

RebuildingMe said:


> I often wondered if these women become lesbians later in life because they don’t want to be sexual anymore?


This is probably a topic worth it's own discussion, but I don't think it is a case of them intentionally not wanting to be sexual and seeking sexual refuge within a same sex relationship. 

The clinical psychologist, therapist and podcaster Dr Psych Mom talks a lot about this in her articles and podcasts. Women in long term monogamous relationships very often will lose a lot of their spontaneous desire and may only have some periodic bumps in libido while ovulating. They can still have responsive desire if the relationship is intact, they still like their partners and still find them somewhat attractive, and their partners are able to flip on their responsive desire switches. 

So when you put two women together, you have two people that have lost their spontaneous desire and neither one is really putting forth the initiative to stimulate the other's desire. 

In traditional male-female relationships, you at least have a horny guy willing to be bold and make things happen. 

A lot of these women would probably reignite their fire if someone new comes along and triggers their NRE which in turn resets their spontaneous desire for awhile. Rinse and Repeat. 

Otherwise if not acted upon by an outside force, their sexual desire can go dormant for a looooong time.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

I don't think most of these people (women and men) actually truly hate their opposite gender. They are just as hateful towards their own gender if someone disagrees with them...because they just HATE. 

People like that are so self-entitled and generally have stronger narcissistic characteristics that make relating very precarious for them. They take everything as personally threatening that doesn't validate them in some way, and are SO self-centered that they cannot tolerate when they don't get what they want. They have no generosity or openness, so their attitudes are poison, no matter who they target with their disapproval.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


When I see married people mistreating their spouses, I wonder that too. Then again, I've seen people who seem to thrive under that treatment. The ones who actually try to treat people well seem to get kicked in their ass for it (ask me how I know). So, I don't know what to make of this quite frankly.


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

LisaDiane said:


> I don't think most of these people (women and men) actually truly hate their opposite gender. They are just as hateful towards their own gender if someone disagrees with them...because they just HATE.
> 
> People like that are so self-entitled and generally have stronger narcissistic characteristics that make relating very precarious for them. They take everything as personally threatening that doesn't validate them in some way, and are SO self-centered that they cannot tolerate when they don't get what they want. They have no generosity or openness, so their attitudes are poison, no matter who they target with their disapproval.


Ha! Some people just either have way too much time on their hands or need to feel important.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RebuildingMe said:


> There’s clearly a lot of differences between the genders and I can appreciate that. I also know enough that I won’t get married again and I am very upfront about that. However, there seems to be a part of the population that doesn’t like the opposite sex, but nevertheless commits themselves to marriage with them. How? Why? 🤷‍♂️


I will never understand how anyone can hate or blame billions of people because of what one or two did. To be so full of hate that you treat a child of one sex differently than a child of the other sex is plain abuse.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RebuildingMe said:


> It’s funny but the happiest marriages I see in real life are the childless ones.


The happiest ones I know of (and there are many), are those with children and grandchildren. I can only think of one happy marriage where they didn't have children but only because they married too late.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> My sex drive has an on/off switch unlike many people, and it's off at the moment. Yet I don't hate the opposite sex, that's just silly.
> 
> I think it's more due to what they are exposed to, if they have had decent women throughout their life even if the relationships didn't work out, like me, there's not much room for hate.


I have had lots of reason to hate men in my life but how stupid that would be to blame all men for what a few did? Madness.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I have had lots of reason to hate men in my life but how stupid that would be to blame all men for what a few did? Madness.


Hate is a feeling and the nature of feelings is to be illogical. Have you ever known someone who was once bitten by a dog and they hated dogs the rest of their life? It's the same thing. A lot of our isms, racism, sexism, etc, start like this.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Not to knock my own gender, but most older guys are kind of gross...Add to that bitterness from life issues...Its no wonder why a lot of women swear off men....lol. 

But despise/hate are pretty strong words...If it gets to that level, then its probably just some issues they have that they haven't been able to process...

To a lesser degree that men harbor these feelings. Even if 100 women effed them over in the past they'll walk past some woman on the street and be like. " ooooh...boobies" 😄


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

hamadryad said:


> Not to knock my own gender, but most older guys are kind of gross...Add to that bitterness from life issues...Its no wonder why a lot of women swear off men....lol.
> 
> But despise/hate are pretty strong words...If it gets to that level, then its probably just some issues they have that they haven't been able to process...
> 
> To a lesser degree that men harbor these feelings. Even if 100 women effed them over in the past they'll walk past some woman on the street and be like. " ooooh...boobies" 😄


Yep. 

“Ooohh…. Boobies.”

Dammit. Gets me every time.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


Horniness?🧐


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

P.S. it's really hard to mate without the opposite sex. Pretty much impossible. Just saying.😉


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


Sometimes, you don't know what you're getting into until after you get married and pregnant. That's what happened to me. Some people show who they are when for some, it's too late.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

ConanHub said:


> P.S. it's really hard to mate without the opposite sex. Pretty much impossible. Just saying.😉


My days of mating are over, believe me. Interesting you say that though, because can’t men now get pregnant?


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

hamadryad said:


> Not to knock my own gender, but most older guys are kind of gross...Add to that bitterness from life issues...Its no wonder why a lot of women swear off men....lol.
> 
> But despise/hate are pretty strong words...If it gets to that level, then its probably just some issues they have that they haven't been able to process...
> 
> To a lesser degree that men harbor these feelings. Even if 100 women effed them over in the past they'll walk past some woman on the street and be like. " ooooh...boobies" 😄


No matter how much I’ve been crapped on, I’ll still stop in my tracks for boobies!


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

hamadryad said:


> Not to knock my own gender, but most older guys are kind of gross...Add to that bitterness from life issues...Its no wonder why a lot of women swear off men....lol.


Totally agree!😂 Some look like they don't shower or fudged their age by 20 years and think no-one will notice.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TXTrini said:


> Totally agree!😂 Some look like they don't shower or fudged their age by 20 years and think no-one will notice.


That's so gross


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Enigma32 said:


> Hate is a feeling and the nature of feelings is to be illogical. Have you ever known someone who was once bitten by a dog and they hated dogs the rest of their life? It's the same thing. A lot of our isms, racism, sexism, etc, start like this.


Thats just totally illogical and will greatly damage lives. Oh well my husband/father/partner hurt me so I will then hate all men for ever. Oh well my ex wife cheated so no women ever can be trusted. 
I know several people who were sexually abused by fathers and have still managed to have happy marriages. It's a decision to forgive and move on and not let the past ruin your future.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

hamadryad said:


> Not to knock my own gender, but most older guys are kind of gross...Add to that bitterness from life issues...Its no wonder why a lot of women swear off men....lol.
> 
> But despise/hate are pretty strong words...If it gets to that level, then its probably just some issues they have that they haven't been able to process...
> 
> To a lesser degree that men harbor these feelings. Even if 100 women effed them over in the past they'll walk past some woman on the street and be like. " ooooh...boobies" 😄


What groups do you mix with where the older men are gross?


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> What groups do you mix with where the older men are gross?


It's called the real world..

I get it, though. On Fantasy Island where you live all the older guys look like George Hamilton..


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

hamadryad said:


> It's called the real world..
> 
> I get it, though. On Fantasy Island where you live all the older guys look like George Hamilton..


Most older guys I know/see/come across are just normal people, not gross at all. Thats why I asked who you mix with.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

LATERILUS79 said:


> Yep.
> 
> “Ooohh…. Boobies.”
> 
> Dammit. Gets me every time.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

hamadryad said:


> View attachment 91336


I always thought I would “grow” out of this. 

Nope. 

Never happened. You might as well say “me seeing boobs at age 80”. Still going to make the same face. 

Always bothered my exwife. She would say, “you’ve seen them a million times. Why do you have to see them again?”

Simple. I haven’t seen them yet today.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

hamadryad said:


> View attachment 91336





LATERILUS79 said:


> I always thought I would “grow” out of this.
> 
> Nope.
> 
> ...


Yeah that’s just part of being a guy. 

A guy can be sitting crying at his mother’s deathbed sobbing like a little girl, but if a hot looking nurse comes into the room he’ll stop and check here out and maybe even look over at his brother (also wiping away the tears to check her out). And they will smirk at each other and silently mouth “Dayyumm!!” 

Then when she leaves the room, they’ll go back to snifling and sobbing again. 

It’s just what we do.


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

RebuildingMe said:


> My ex wife and her mom absolutely hate men. Sadly, I found that out slowly after marriage. I see the way she treats my daughter and how she treats my son a lot differently. We have posters on TAM that clearly don’t respect or even like the opposite sex, yet they are married. Why? Wouldn’t it be better to not marry your mortal enemy?


I’d say they like to have a target around for their anger.
A willing participant as their intended target.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

hamadryad said:


> Not to knock my own gender, but most older guys are kind of gross...Add to that bitterness from life issues...Its no wonder why a lot of women swear off men....lol.
> 
> But despise/hate are pretty strong words...If it gets to that level, then its probably just some issues they have that they haven't been able to process...
> 
> To a lesser degree that men harbor these feelings. Even if 100 women effed them over in the past they'll walk past some woman on the street and be like. " ooooh...boobies" 😄


Yeah this is all part of it. 

Hopefully things are trending better in recent times but in the not so distant past there were a lot of men that treated their wives badly and daughters even worse. 

Some were truly vile creatures. 

There are crappy women that are vile too but when it came to things like alcoholism, neglect and dismissiveness, forced adherence to rigid gender roles and outright physical abusiveness, men had the corner of the market. 

And this was all back in a time when it was difficult and socially unacceptable to divorce. A lot of people were just simply stuck.

I personally know a lady closely that is in her 70s.

Her biological father abandoned her mother and siblings when she was a young girl. 

Her step father won the hearts of the community and church elders because he “stepped up” to take in the abandoned wife and children and married the mom. They all thought he was a fine man. 

Almost immediately he began beating and raping the woman I know (approx age 12 at the time). He didn’t even try to hide his abuse and molestion in the home.

The mother told her and the other kids not to tell anyone because if he left them or if he was hauled to jail, they would all starve and be homeless and he was their only chance to “have a father and be a family” as well as a roof over their heads because no other man would have a twice divorced mother and kids at that time and place. 

In my book ALL of the adults were evil and vile including the mother but it was often that men that were the ones that were physically and sexually abusive.

Sometimes people grow up in perfectly healthy and living homes and are still filled with hate.

Others have had bad abusive and maltreatment but don’t hate.

And others have obvious reason.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> Thats just totally illogical and will greatly damage lives. Oh well my husband/father/partner hurt me so I will then hate all men for ever. Oh well my ex wife cheated so no women ever can be trusted.
> I know several people who were sexually abused by fathers and have still managed to have happy marriages. It's a decision to forgive and move on and not let the past ruin your future.


Feelings are the opposite of logic so of course it's totally illogical. It still happens.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

A couple thoughts.

My ex-MIL sets off a gaydar for anyone that is equipped with one. Any inconvenience in her life is generally attributed to "a stupid man" and she'd "rather kill [ex-FIL] than divorce him". The relationship is toxic enough that I think both of them are staying in it so that they can be there when the other one dies.

In my experience the difference between older guys and older women in terms of looks is there but not a huge difference. I do think that women are a lot more likely to associate with people that would judge the way that they maintain their looks. I don't necessarily consider that an advantage.

In a general sense, I do think there's a lot of women that have been trained to think that a lot of the ills in their life and in society are the result of "the patriarchy" and therefore the fault of men in general. That "toxic masculinity" is a pervasive, widespread problem that stunts men and harms women. If such a person is heterosexual, then at least from the outside it would look like they hate the opposite gender while wanting to be in a relationship with one.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Hiner112 said:


> A couple thoughts.
> 
> My ex-MIL sets off a gaydar for anyone that is equipped with one. Any inconvenience in her life is generally attributed to "a stupid man" and she'd "rather kill [ex-FIL] than divorce him". The relationship is toxic enough that I think both of them are staying in it so that they can be there when the other one dies.
> 
> ...


It’s like a marriage where you’re sleeping with the enemy. I don’t get it. They want to hate them, but at the same time that don’t or can’t be alone and they need their income as well.


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