# need so advice



## jhm (Feb 17, 2012)

My wife has been e mailing and old friend of hers that happens to be a man a few months ago i found out she sent nude photos of herself to him and she told him she loved him and i was real hurt. I told her i don't care if she still emails him but id like to be able to see what she is writing because i don't want to be that hurt again and it seemed to be fine. However yesterday i found out she has been deleting email she has been sending him i i saw one where she said she might fall in love with him when i asked her about it she said shes just playing around and its not serious but I'm still hurt am i overacting or is there something more to this than I'm seeing


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Your wife is cheating on you. Tell he she is not to contact him if she wants to stay married. Absoolutely no negotating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

> is there something more to this than I'm seeing


Your wife sent nude photos to another man, and is talking about love. What more do you need to see? You've seen everything you need to know that your wife is cheating on you, even if she may not yet have had sex with him. She might have, though.

Stand up for yourself and make her end this or start talking to a divorce lawyer. Or both.


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## jhm (Feb 17, 2012)

i don't think she is cheating the guy is in another state but i'm uneasy about it i don't want a divorce we have two kids together


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

cheating isn't always just physical

it is an EA (emotional affair)

click the welcome CWI newbies link in my signature and then post in the CWI section, lots of people there who have gone through similar times that can help you


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

:scratchhead:I can' think of one good reason why you would be okay with your wife continuing to email a man you caught her sending nude photos to.Maybe you can enlighten me.My thinking says EA and your wife thinks you're a pushover.So sorry for you man.


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## CantBeJustMe (Jan 27, 2012)

jhm said:


> i don't think she is cheating the guy is in another state but i'm uneasy about it i don't want a divorce we have two kids together


She emailed NUDE PICS OF HERSELF TO ANOTHER MAN. THAT IS CHEATING. NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS.

If you “don’t want a divorce” and you are still letting her email this guy, you are basically telling your wife “It’s okay, I don’t want to lose you I need you. Do whatever you want, just don’t leave me.”

Married Man Sex Life

The ALPHA techniques listed will help you out almost immediately.

Tell her to stop emailing the other guy immediately. 

Right now she’s not taking you seriously because she knows you don’t want to leave her. That’s like telling her she can do whatever she wants to you without consequences.

Get a key logger for the computer. Then you can read those emails she’s deleting. If reading what she says to the other man about you doesn’t piss out off and get your fired up, nothing will.

It’s time to be a MAN, a HUSBAND and a FATHER. 

As my old drill sergeant used to say “It’s time to man up or sit down and shut up.”


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## Hopefull363 (Feb 13, 2012)

All contact with this man and any other man that is not her family should stop. A key logger program can be installed on the computer to make sure. Alpha up because she doesn't respect you if she's sending naked pictures to other men. If she doesn't respect you it will happen again and maybe this time go all the way to a physical affair. Set boundaries and end her cheating now.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey JHM, get your head out of the sand

Your wife is sending nude photos, out on the internet, to another man, and whoever he choses to send them on to, she is professing love---what the he*l, do you think she is doing.

You better deal with this like YESTERDAY---stop excusing her cheating and show a little self-esteem, and dignity in yourself

Your wife is cheating, deal with it.

How many married couples DO YOU KNOW, where one of the spouses is sending nude photos out to strangers, or X's, I imagine, like, very few, unless they are screwed up like your mge. is, and yes at this point, whether you like it or not---YOU GOT ONE VERY LARGE PROBLEM.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

jhm said:


> My wife has been e mailing and old friend of hers that happens to be a man a few months ago i found out she sent nude photos of herself to him and she told him she loved him and i was real hurt. I told her i don't care if she still emails him but id like to be able to see what she is writing because i don't want to be that hurt again and it seemed to be fine. However yesterday i found out she has been deleting email she has been sending him i i saw one where she said she might fall in love with him when i asked her about it she said shes just playing around and its not serious but I'm still hurt am i overacting or is there something more to this than I'm seeing


Why in the world would you not mind your wife continuing contact with a guy she sent nude pictures too?

Really? Really? 

She needs to go full NC with this guy. You are enabling her affair(s).


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

click on this link


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/32002-welcome-tam-cwi-newbies-please-read-3.html

This is what has happened to your wife :

F-102 made a great post about how these things progress:


Quote:
Originally Posted by F-102 
It may have gone something like this:

They first start catching up, and it's all "How you been doing? What have you been up to?"

Then it would have morphed into talk about:

What they've been doing since they parted
Their significant others since they parted
Their families
Their favorite music, movies, etc.
Their spouses
You
Your job
How your job keeps you away
How lonely she gets when you're away
How she looks forward to their conversations all the time now
How she loves talking to him
How she gets "bored" talking to you
How you don't always listen
How you're not "perfect"
How you can be so insensitive sometimes
How she wonders if she would have stayed with him
How he understands her
How he knows how to make her feel good
How you fail at this
How you are such an a**hole
How she feels young again
How she hasn't felt this happy with you in so long
How he's a better man than you'll ever be
How she wants to see him again
How they can meet under the radar
How she's thought of leaving you
How she ever could have fallen for a jerk like you
How he's her soul mate
How she made a big mistake leaving him
How she made an even bigger mistake marrying you
How they were meant to be together...

...get the picture? 

She secretly contacted him behind your back - RED FLAG 
She created a secret facebook account to facilitate contact with him behind your back - RED FLAG 
She told him to wait till things settle down and contact her on the secret facebook account - RED FLAG 
She would NOT have stopped contact with him if you hadn't found out about it 
She's playing the privacy card. What she wants is secrecy. There is no secrey in marriage. Privacy is when you go to the bathroom 

And no, it does NOT make anything better just because he's far away. And EA is an EA is an EA. My fWWs EA was online too, and OM is in Canada. Yet I found out in the later stages how she was searching on how to immigrate there and make her escape.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

andwilson said:


> Wait for some time and react on your wife till, you don't get evidence, once you will found an evidence, then you can talk to your wife, directly on this topic.


I'm not sure I understand this. His wife is sending naked pictures of herself to another man, a man that she has said she might be falling in love with.

That's a major problem! Isn't that enough? What additional "evidence" does he need in order to take action now?


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## NaturalHeart (Nov 13, 2011)

I don't understand. It is like this open pathway to red flag infidelity when you find out your wife sent nude pics and said she loves him but you say you're ok with her emailing him.

The lines have already been crossed why would you not think that it will become more of a problem??? It definitely doesn't decrease. And you can forget about that "oh I gave her permission to continue emailing so I know she wont cheat on me" type thinking.............

I understand giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt but there is no doubt she sent nude pics and said I love you- it is like turning your back to see if something happens and when it is full blown into clouded minds and addicted sexual behavior --- people are soooooo devastated and sooooo hurt.

:scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:


Never be ok with your spouse emailing a person she sent nude pics and said i love you to


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Progression is the key word here.
This thing is going to head south real fast and you will be kicking your self for being a fool and how your wife managed you into all this b*llsh*t that you will soon be in.

If it not that serious then it should be no problem to turn off the interent and block this guy.

I can bet you that when and if you go down that road your wife will flip the F0ck out. So go ahead and tell her your turning of *her* internet ...you will soon see how serious this crap is.

Jut be sure to come back here and we will school you on how not to be managed and how to get out of being labeled the "controlling jealous husband" that can't trust his wife. 

See this crap is a script and we have some great perspectives once you find how serious this thing really is and you get out of denial.


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## jhm (Feb 17, 2012)

where can i get a key-logger and about how much are they


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## jhm (Feb 17, 2012)

just an update for those of you that helped i told her that her talking to him made me uneasy and if she wants things between us to work it would be better if she stopped talking to him now she claims she is going to stop talking to this man and delete her yahoo account but I'm still a little uneasy


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

You should be uneasy. It takes all of about 30 seconds to create a new email account and reconnect.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

How about the keylogger?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

jhm said:


> just an update for those of you that helped i told her that her talking to him made me uneasy and if she wants things between us to work it would be better if she stopped talking to him now she claims she is going to stop talking to this man and delete her yahoo account but I'm still a little uneasy


He's uneasy.

His wife is offering herself up to another man sexually and he's ....... Uneasy.

She's not going to stop just because she said she'd stop.
You need a key logger and need to become a hard ass.

Have you checked her phone Records?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jhm (Feb 17, 2012)

ok where can i buy a keylogger and the only reason i'm not a hard ass about this is because we have two small children and whern i get angry like in an argument with my wife i tend to get very violent and break things and i dont want my children thinking that is a good way to solve problems in life


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

*and the only reason i'm not a hard ass about this is because we have two small children*

Fair enough… But you do realize ,that does nude picture can been posted on the Internet by now??

So hard ass for you kids are in order here.. If nothing else..


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