# Best way to make wife feel admired long term



## DALMORE (Jul 21, 2010)

What is the best way fo a man to make his wife feel admired, special, et cetera...for the long term....something sustainable for years and years.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Well what YOUR wife wants may be different. Here are the things that make me feel the most cherished woman in the world:

- Trying to listen and understand MY feelings, even when I am irrational and emotional. Never minimizing my feelings as "wrong."

- Takes on any task or chore in a spirit of helpfulness. No burden is mine to bear alone. He is as capable in the kitchen, with the kids or ANYTHING that needs doing. 

- Over the years has always been very patient with my developing sexuality and removal of fears and insecurities. Openly discussing desires but never ever pressuring me for things that made me feel cheap or scared.

- Spending time with me doing fun things. Building up a treasure trove of fun stories and memories. 

There are probably a lot more. But those are the things that come to the top of my head.


Good luck!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

What would work for me:
- NEVER interrupting me again.

- Asking me about my work instead of talking nonstop about his.

- When I tell him repeatedly that something he does upsets me, STOP DOING WHAT UPSETS ME.

- If I ask for help with something, actually do it instead of running the other way.

- Don't answer the phone when I (rarely) call him at work with "WHAT?! What IS it?!"

- When I ask for a particular gift, realize I really DO want it, and give it to me instead of what HE wants to give me (in my case, I have been asking for him to take daughter and go away for the weekend and let me have some peace and quiet; still haven't gotten it, after 15 years of asking).


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## Willow (Jun 17, 2010)

Find out which of the 5 love languages are hers and use them.

And for most women flowers work. Doesn't need to be grand, or expensive, but we love them and we'd really rather someone else bought them for us, especially when they're a 'just because'. Ditto jewellery, and scent. But if a man bought me lingerie I'd hate it - I may be in the minority on that one though.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

Sounds like you are asking for a one-time, one-shot deed or gesture that will sustain her nearly forever. Are you?


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## DALMORE (Jul 21, 2010)

Susan2010 said:


> Sounds like you are asking for a one-time, one-shot deed or gesture that will sustain her nearly forever. Are you?


No...not a one shot thing. I know the basics of listening, giving her verbal admiration and praise, compliments, dates, et cetera. I was just wanting some tips from a woman's point of view of what would make a woman feel truly admired and wanted. 

Seems that sometimes I find myself doing the same things over and over and I was thinking I could get some fresh ideas here. Possibly some I have not thought about.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

To learn more about her ask her to fill out the Love Buster and Emotional Needs questionnaires from marriagebuilders.com.


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## vertigo (Jun 3, 2010)

I totally agree with Turnera and willow--those things are free on the internet, too!

But what I would like my ideal H to do, to show his admiration and undying love for me is:
-to compliment me on things that I do or how I look
-to talk to me, listen, ask questions...engage me in conversation
-to talk about personal stuff like emotions and spirituality and open up!!!!
-to surprise me from time to time with something little that he knows I like (don't feel overwhelmed- I am talking about maybe a snickers bar or a pair of silver earrings or stargazer lilies or a surprise trip to a gorgeous viewpoint to watch the sunset). 

BUT DON'T DO THE SURPRISE THING EVERY WEEK! It will get routine and not be a surprise! Just make it unpredictable...


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## silent (Aug 10, 2010)

DALMORE said:


> What is the best way fo a man to make his wife feel admired, special, et cetera...for the long term....something sustainable for years and years.


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## silent (Aug 10, 2010)

the best way could be even the smallest things like tell her u love her, shes a amazing women, pull out the chair for her, sit and just listen to her feelings, pamper her. write her a poem. now remember it should go both ways once in a while, dont over do it but also dont forget. youre a amazing husband for asking, u have one lucky wife, good luck.


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## Zammo (Aug 9, 2010)

One caveat... don't completely subvert your needs to hers. She wants to respect you as a man and bending over to her every whim sends the message that you are weak and not strong.

Also, be aware of the words versus actions dichotomy. Sure, listen to her words regarding to what would make her happy. But unless those words are backed up with actions, the words are fundamentally meaningless.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> Well what YOUR wife wants may be different. Here are the things that make me feel the most cherished woman in the world:
> 
> - Trying to listen and understand MY feelings, even when I am irrational and emotional. Never minimizing my feelings as "wrong."
> 
> ...


Bless you, that's a truly lovely answer


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