# Thoughts of sex with someone else!



## Innosenses (Jul 8, 2011)

Okay. Three years have past and my husband has not had a job in over two year of these years. I feel like he is felling in all things except christ. When I prayed for my husband the number one thing I asked for was a God fearing man. But I am starting not want to be with my husband.... Sometimes it is sexually or just want to totally separate. During our last argument/breakup I had no feelings towards him. I did not want to end on a bad note, but no I did not feel hurt or sad about him leaving. I actually want him to leave bc everything about him turns me off. He does not know how to touch, kiss, make love etc... to me. I don't even think we communicate well with each other. Okay the relationship is at a strain to where he does not go anywhere with me. We do nothing together. I don't want to cheat, but when we have sex I think of other man. I think this has made my sex with him a little better, but it feels wrong. I wonder if I should go ahead in cheat. What should I do. I am going to pray and ask God what is going on. Comments welcome.


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## survivorwife (May 15, 2012)

Innosenses said:


> Okay. Three years have past and my husband has not had a job in over two year of these years. I feel like he is felling in all things except christ. When I prayed for my husband the number one thing I asked for was a God fearing man. But I am starting not want to be with my husband.... Sometimes it is sexually or just want to totally separate. During our last argument/breakup I had no feelings towards him. I did not want to end on a bad note, but no I did not feel hurt or sad about him leaving. I actually want him to leave bc everything about him turns me off. He does not know how to touch, kiss, make love etc... to me. I don't even think we communicate well with each other. Okay the relationship is at a strain to where he does not go anywhere with me. We do nothing together. I don't want to cheat, but when we have sex I think of other man. I think this has made my sex with him a little better, but it feels wrong. I wonder if I should go ahead in cheat. What should I do. I am going to pray and ask God what is going on. Comments welcome.


Don't cheat. It is against everything you vowed in your marriage. You know that.

What does need to happen is that you have to seriously consider ending your marriage or fixing it. It takes two to fix the marriage, so you need to address your concerns with your H. If your H is not willing or able to help make your marriage better, then, for both your sakes, you need to end it.

You don't mention children. If there are no children in this marriage, it will be easier for you to decide whether you want to continue in the marriage or cut your losses. But cheating is not the answer. It never was the answer.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Innosenses said:


> Okay. Three years have past and my husband has not had a job in over two year of these years.*WHY? Do you work full time? Have you ever had a long period of time that you were out of work? This is a soull crushing experience and it's quite possible that he is suffering from depression.*
> He does not know how to touch, kiss, make love etc... to me. *There seems to be other things going on in your marriage but I can't help but think his inability to find work is a major source of your unhappiness and has caused you lose a great deal of respect for him. Is that right?
> 
> *I don't even think we communicate well with each other. Okay the relationship is at a strain to where he does not go anywhere with me. We do nothing together. I don't want to cheat, but when we have sex I think of other man. I think this has made my sex with him a little better, but it feels wrong. I wonder if I should go ahead in cheat. What should I do. I am going to pray and ask God what is going on. Comments welcome.


*Don't cheat beacuse you'll forever be branded that way. Also, if you haven't tried counseling for the two of you I'd recommend giving it a try. Do you remember the part in your vows that said "In sickness and in health, in good times and bad"? These have been the bad times for the past two and a half years. *


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

You are professing your belief in Christ so cheating is not the answer. You know that type of behavior is against the scriptures. Divorce, except for adultery, is also against the scriptures as well. You need to try your best to make things work with your husband. Have you spoke to your pastor about your feelings? Have you spoke to your husband? What are YOU doing to make the marriage better?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Your yearning for another man is natural considering you've lost all respect for your husband. However, yearning, even intensely yearning for another man isn't the end of your marriage. 

Wake Up and do not be passive about the state of your marriage. It doesn't take the good book to know that cheating isn't the answer!

What conversations have you had with your husband, letting him know that you have lost respect for him, which is closely related to loving him, since he isn't doing his part to support you? What have you said to him about how important it is for you to be able to count on him being a husband who can support his wife? You may think that because you prayed for a man who loves God that you have to accept this guy but maybe this guy was praying for a woman who could keep him on his toes and not allow him to wallow in apathy and neglect. And God thought, Hmmm you and you should do well together. 

Snap out of it, put your foot down and tell him to get a job or move out. However, I don't suggest you start the conversation that way...


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