# How to talk to kids about new significant other.



## Trainer78 (Sep 14, 2013)

Separated/divorced just short of three years, I've been seriously dating someone for a year. About 5 months in, he was introduced to the kids in a group setting on an outing with other friends and just introduced as a friend. We continued group outings, then progressed to outings to museums, outdoor events, etc with just us. Further down the road, he started joining us for dinner and movie nights and we've just continued this progression slowly. The kids call him my BFF. We've refrained from any affection in front of the kids. We both just want them to adjust slowly and comfortably. I'm ready for them to know he is more than my BFF. My children are 7, 5, and 3. 

What have you all done? 

I'm thinking of having a talk with my 7 year old individually. They all love him to death and always ask if he's coming over for dinner or on outings with us.
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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Well, it sounds like you have laid the foundation beautifully. You slowly introduced him into your children's lives, they adore him, so I think it's time to just be honest.

"Mommy and SO have developed romantic feelings for each other. Our feelings for each other are now 'more than friends.'"

That's all they need to know for now. Keep it simple and short. And start showing small displays of affection like holding hands, a hug, a peck on the lips, they don't need to see BIG displays right now 

From what you've stated, they love him and should be thrilled you are 'more than friends'. Even as young as they are, they probably have an inkling anyway. Kids are very observant.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Nice work, Trainer. I think that what you've done so far is excellent. 

I did something similar, slowly introducing a SO to my daughter. Friends first in group settings gradually stepped up over time. 

When I sat my daughter down to discuss things, she received it very well. I first asked her if she understood what dating is, BF/GF, etc. At 7 she had a pretty good idea. 

Before I could even tell her, she asked. "You're dating now, aren't you?" Yes, I am. "She is your GF, isn't she?"

Kids are sponges, they often get it sooner than we expect them too. 

With how you've handled it so far, I don't doubt that they will be fine. 

Just let them know they can ask any questions they like, any time. (age appropriate responses, of course)


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## Trainer78 (Sep 14, 2013)

Thank you so much for the replies. It's helped me feel so much better about everything.
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