# Do women fantasize during sex/masturbation?



## Indy (Dec 6, 2014)

I can tell you first hand (no pun intended, haha:rofl that men do. 

I ask because my wife swears that she doesn't. I don't really care if she does but she has a vibrator and I've noticed that it has moved around quite bit indicating lots of use, which I wouldn't mind but we don't have sex all that much. I'm not sure how to approach it with her.  I think I'd be ok if we were active together and she still used it and fantasized. 

It may be that she's using this toy and fantasizing about a sex life that she wishes that she had. This is a very realistic toy and it makes me wonder if she likes it more than me. (I kind of feel like the answer is in that question).


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Of course "women" do. 

Your woman may not, and my woman may not, so perhaps you're asking about how the genders compare statistically? You're on your own, as I will no longer engage in those conversations here.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Getting my wife to admit it would be a small miracle.


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

Of course we do. Orgasms can't build without mental imagery. If we weren't thinking arousing thoughts, we would just get a sore clit.

But just because we have fantasies doesn't mean that we are dissatisfied with our sexual partners. We use the images for arousal, just like men do. Gotta get blood flowing down there somehow!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

You've also asked two separate questions here. I never fantasize during sex.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Yes


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

Indy said:


> I can tell you first hand (no pun intended, haha:rofl that men do.
> 
> I ask because my wife swears that she doesn't. I don't really care if she does but she has a vibrator and I've noticed that it has moved around quite bit indicating lots of use, which I wouldn't mind but we don't have sex all that much. I'm not sure how to approach it with her.  I think I'd be ok if we were active together and she still used it and fantasized.
> 
> It may be that she's using this toy and fantasizing about a sex life that she wishes that she had. This is a very realistic toy and it makes me wonder if she likes it more than me. (I kind of feel like the answer is in that question).


Of course. You wouldn't get turned on without the fantasy. Men and women aren't that different.

Sounds like she is uncomfortable sharing her fantasies with you. Have you thought about sharing fantasies together? Maybe start slow and work up?


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

Cletus said:


> Of course "women" do.
> 
> Your woman may not, and my woman may not, so perhaps you're asking about how the genders compare statistically? You're on your own, as I will no longer engage in those conversations here.


Good point. That is a generalization.


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

Cletus said:


> You've also asked two separate questions here. I never fantasize during sex.


True. I don't either for the most part. I am more focused on my partner.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Mrs. Conan does when I am away. That is the only time she helps herself. When I am available, no.

She says she fantasizes about me. I am not insecure at all so no reason for her to lie unless she is embarrassed but that is her story.

I don't fantasize when I am with her either, just when I MB.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Yes.


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## 1971 (Mar 7, 2013)

Absolutely

My mind is an amazing thing.

.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I expect most women do, but absolute generalizatoins are always wrong. 

It is strange though, my wife denies masturbating, but sometimes the toys have moved. Its fine - I don't care if she does or not, and I've made it clear I'm always available if she wants me - even just for a quick orgasm with nothing in return. Its just strange that after nearly 30 years together she doesn't feel that she can admit it to me.


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## Pooh Bear (Dec 28, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> I expect most women do, but absolute generalizatoins are always wrong.
> 
> It is strange though, my wife denies masturbating, but sometimes the toys have moved. Its fine - I don't care if she does or not, and I've made it clear I'm always available if she wants me - even just for a quick orgasm with nothing in return. Its just strange that after nearly 30 years together she doesn't feel that she can admit it to me.


You kind of get it drilled in to you that if you are a sexual woman you are a **ut. That is probably why she has a hard time admitting it if she does. Maybe she is being truthful.


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Indy said:


> It may be that she's using this toy and fantasizing about a sex life that she wishes that she had. This is a very realistic toy and it makes me wonder if she likes it more than me. (I kind of feel like the answer is in that question).


Does she O from sex easily and every time?


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

It's a pretty reasonable question. Expand it a bit, when does the fantasizing start? It is pretty obvious my wife does, when she is getting on the way she'll close her eyes and eventually get there. This is a foreign concept to me, if I am not already aroused a little cuddling / snuggling and up it goes. No fantasizing required.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I'm a non-fantasizer. I really just concentrate on how my own body is responding, same as during sex. I just enjoy the process. 

I'm a very analytical thinker, very little creativity, maybe that is why? Trying to think of imaginary scenarios just does nothing for me.😕


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

I fantasize when I masturbate. I used to fantasize about my H but our sex life is is such bad shape nowadays (non-existent) that fantasizing about him just puts me off. I now fantasize about other people and situations.

As for during sex, I've very rarely had to fantasize as the action is usually enough to get me to O. However, on odd occasions over the years, I have found myself sort of going some place else during sex - not fantasizing about a person as such. It's difficult to describe, but now and again during a really hot session I've sort of had images and sounds come into my mind - waves crashing, stones, glass nuggets. It sounds weird, but it happens when the sex is absolutely mind blowing.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Is the ocean wet? Is the sky big?

Well there was a period in my marriage when my wife wouldn't share fantasies with me. Now she shares some. 

MN


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

I don't.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Someone said yes because they wouldn't have any way to get turned on otherwise. That seems sad to me. I sometimes do and sometimes don't but I can definitely be aroused without it...and usually it is more fun to just focus on my body and how it feels.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

doobie said:


> It's difficult to describe, but now and again during a really hot session I've sort of had images and sounds come into my mind - waves crashing, stones, glass nuggets. It sounds weird, but it happens when the sex is absolutely mind blowing.


sounds awesome!


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## GettingIt_2 (Apr 12, 2013)

I do! I love to fantasize, and I do it because I think its fun, not because I have to in order to feel aroused. In fact, the more aroused I am, the more my mind participates by taking me to some freaky places. And I do mean freaky.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

No I do not, and I masturbate quite a bit.

Occasionally I will fantasize about my husband I guess. Mostly remembering things he has done that I thought was sexy, or just thinking about his body. But I'd say 90%+ of the time I don't really think about anything. And never about another man. So your wife could very well be telling the truth.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Someone said yes because they wouldn't have any way to get turned on otherwise. That seems sad to me. I sometimes do and sometimes don't but I can definitely be aroused without it...and usually it is more fun to just focus on my body and how it feels.


:iagree:


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Giro flee said:


> I'm a non-fantasizer. I really just concentrate on how my own body is responding, same as during sex. I just enjoy the process.
> 
> I'm a very analytical thinker, very little creativity, maybe that is why? Trying to think of imaginary scenarios just does nothing for me.😕


:iagree:

Haha. Me too! I'm a very logical thinker, and don't have much of an imagination. I wonder if that has something to do with it? Interesting!


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

I don't masturbate very much, but when I do there aren't any fantasies involved.


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## Big Mama (Mar 24, 2014)

I see it has been about a month since this thread has been in circulation. I would like to answer though even if it is not the newest thread. 

I do not fanaticize. I am very self centered when it comes to masturbation and what I like. I know what I like, and what I need to get the job done. It doesn't not contain any fanaticizing. Only the enjoyment of sensations and reaching the end goal finding the allusive "O".


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

TheCuriousWife said:


> :iagree:
> 
> Haha. Me too! I'm a very logical thinker, and don't have much of an imagination. I wonder if that has something to do with it? Interesting!


My wife would say the same thing, I think.

I asked her once, purely out of curiosity, nothing more (I mean, come on, I don't always think about my wife when I'm alone, so it'd be hypocritical to assume she thinks only of me!) and her answer was similar - she doesn't think of anybody or anything but herself.

I admit, I found it hard to believe (didn't tell her that, of course!), but now that I see others do the same, it seems to not be uncommon.

I, as a man, don't always need a visual or imaginary stimulation, either, for what it's worth.

So I guess the moral of the story is that either your wife truly doesn't think of anything, or she's not comfortable sharing. Just accept what she says and move on!


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## Caribvistors (Jan 13, 2013)

I have asked my wife over the years if she had fantasies during sex with me or when she was alone and she always said "no".

About 15+ years ago she started slowly opening up about having fantasies and when I didn't freak out she became very willing to share those mental images with me. Really enhanced our sex life, especially hers.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Damn right I fantasize!

First of all, I'm not in my bedroom and lots of times I'm not even at home. My body has no scars, no imperfections and is perfectly moisturized. Generally, there are curtains flowing in a gentle breeze, or a crackling fire in the back ground. Though sometimes we're on the beach. Other times we might be in an office setting...

After 30 years together, sex is fantastic but if my mind couldn't escape the same bedroom, the same walls, the same curtains... I'd go crazy!


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

I think most women fantasise. 

I know I do. However when having sex I try and keep focused on what my partner and I are doing. 

When masturbating alone I fantasise.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

I'm sure some women do, but I'd bet a lot of women just enjoy the physical sensations they get. I think if women masturbated with all types of fantasies and scenarios going on in their heads each time, they would make those scenarios a reality. 

Dating sites would have more women than men, etc. Woman are usually very controlled and definitely do not think or fantasize like men. I'd also imagine their fantasies being a bit more connected to emotions, rather than imagining themselves in a porn orgy with 20 women.

Either way, every person is different and I am sure there are women that think and fantasize just like men.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Indy said:


> I can tell you first hand (no pun intended, haha:rofl that men do.
> 
> I ask because my wife swears that she doesn't. I don't really care if she does but she has a vibrator and I've noticed that it has moved around quite bit indicating lots of use, which I wouldn't mind but we don't have sex all that much. I'm not sure how to approach it with her.  I think I'd be ok if we were active together and she still used it and fantasized.
> 
> It may be that she's using this toy and fantasizing about a sex life that she wishes that she had. This is a very realistic toy and it makes me wonder if she likes it more than me. (I kind of feel like the answer is in that question).


I would hope they do. Be pretty boring without some juicy fantasy firing in the synapses. &#55357;&#56833;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Damn right I fantasize!
> 
> First of all, I'm not in my bedroom and lots of times I'm not even at home. My body has no scars, no imperfections and is perfectly moisturized. Generally, there are curtains flowing in a gentle breeze, or a crackling fire in the back ground. Though sometimes we're on the beach. Other times we might be in an office setting...
> 
> After 30 years together, sex is fantastic but if my mind couldn't escape the same bedroom, the same walls, the same curtains... I'd go crazy!


You are so tame!!! Mine are scary! LOL! &#55357;&#56841;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> You are so tame!!! Mine are scary! LOL! ��
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


lol mine too and often involve things I probably wouldn't do even if was single and had the chance (some I definitely would).
I fantasize during masturbation but not really while having sex (I have in the past with former boyfriends sometimes) .


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> You are so tame!!! Mine are scary! LOL! ��
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Now why would I divulge my filthy dirty fantasies all over the interwebs? You got the G rated Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval fantasies.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> Now why would I divulge my filthy dirty fantasies all over the interwebs? You got the G rated Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval fantasies.


I figured as much. &#55357;&#56841;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomFella (Feb 18, 2015)

richie33 said:


> Getting my wife to admit it would be a small miracle.


I fantasize very often but don't share them. My wife says she doesn't, I don't believe her but I'm totally ok with that. We often role play during sex and I think that role playing and fantasizing are intricately linked. The idea that she is fantasizing actually turns me on.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

She'd deny it. She'd even deny masturbating. She has no interest in sex but upgraded her toys twice.


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## CincyBluesFan (Feb 27, 2015)

If someone claims they don't fantasize during masturbation there is a 99% chance they're lying. What are they thinking about, balancing their checkbook? They're just lying because they think it'll hurt their partner's feelings or they don't want to be questioned about who else they might be thinking about.


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## CincyBluesFan (Feb 27, 2015)

Horizon said:


> She'd deny it. She'd even deny masturbating. She has no interest in sex but upgraded her toys twice.


When it comes to masturbation there's only two kinds of liars. Those that say they don't and those they say they've quit.


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## Threetimesalady (Dec 22, 2010)

I put this on yesterday and then deleted...I still get embarrassed at this late age in life being the woman I am...This was the post...

Do I fantasize?....You better believe it...I have so many juicy parts of life to bring forward that it can be real hot...However, my guy is always who I am doing it too...It's the young me who was so hot and ready for life that I visit....Usually we talk all during sex...Never quiet time...I doubt he does much fantasizing as I love to really get it on...Anyone and I say anyone who thinks that older age sexuality dies out should think again...Give me a Ray Charles hot recording and some of his hot songs and I would stay in bed all day...This is part of never growing old...Your mind is young and you treasure each and every moment your alive...This is especially so true after nearly losing him twice in the last two years...Besides that we are still young...He will be 79 this month and I will be 78 shortly after...In our eyes who we are is who we were...Sure we have grandchildren all in their 20's, but so what...We plan on ending our days as we started...That being getting it on.....Lord, how I love this man...Oh and one more thing I was a virgin when I married, but did learn life...and I smile as I write this and I would do it all again...


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