# Moving on



## Newbeginnings88 (15 d ago)

Hey everyone,

I’m female in my early thirties and my divorce was finalised a few weeks ago. I’ve gone through all the stages of grief and tried my best to keep pushing forward. My business I set up is going well, I sold the property me and my ex wife shared and also recently purchased a new property and moved in.

I’ve now got to the stage where it doesn’t need to be about survival anymore. I just can’t bring myself to date yet. My ex and I have been separated for 2 years now and I’m just feeling it’s ridiculous that I’m still not ready.

Any advice out there for when any of you knew you were ready to start dating again? I’ve been on a few dates but just can’t get my barriers back down and then I just retreat and don’t date for a while again. I’ve joined Meetup to try and make new friends just to focus on that for now. This all just feels like there’s gotta be something wrong with me to be taking so long to actually move on fully.

I’ve learnt about all the errors I made, such as having no boundaries and not leaving when there was infidelity involved. Had lots of therapy and travelled on my own too to try and reawaken my soul a little from the hurt that was left within me.

Any advice would be great about how to fully move on.

Thank you


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Newbeginnings88 said:


> I’ve now got to the stage where it doesn’t need to be about survival anymore. I just can’t bring myself to date yet. My ex and I have been separated for 2 years now and I’m just feeling it’s ridiculous that I’m still not ready.


there is no time limit , when you open your open to receive love you have to let others into your life and no one wants to get hurt but there comes a time we take that risk , just after the first time of deep hurt we don't open as much


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Newbeginnings88 said:


> Hey everyone,
> 
> I’m female in my early thirties and my divorce was finalised a few weeks ago. I’ve gone through all the stages of grief and tried my best to keep pushing forward. My business I set up is going well, I sold the property me and my ex wife shared and also recently purchased a new property and moved in.
> 
> ...


I agree with @frenchpaddy don’t worry about time limits. Everyone has their own timeline for dealing with things and there’s no “wrong” way to do it.

Having said that, you should keep trying to take steps forward. You don’t want to be in a scenario of being stuck.

I would think stop trying to date. I would keep doing what you’re doing…focus more on being in social situations with others. Double up those efforts, maybe volunteer at a soup kitchen or whatever your interests are. Join a craft club.

Keep trying to take steps toward organic friendships and let dating happen when it does.

Best of luck to you.


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## lmucamac (4 mo ago)

Why do you feel a need to date? There is no timeline. After a major life change, there is an adjustment period. Spend your time doing things you enjoy. Do meetup activitie, volunteer, explore a new hobby, take a class. 

After my husband passed, I joined a few meetup groups. After 9 months of being in a meetup group, and doing activities on a regular basis, one morning after bowling one of the men asked the group if anyone wanted to join him for breakfast at the local diner. I was the only one who went. After that we started talking more at the meetup activities, a few weeks later we started dating, 2 years later we got married. You never know Where life will take you.


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## Newbeginnings88 (15 d ago)

Thank you everyone. I agree dating isn’t right for me right now and I need to focus on socialising as I definitely need more friends in my life. 

I wanted to go in those dates to see if I could, but it didn’t feel 100% right at the time hence why I’ve backed off from the dating scene. I’ll take my time and see how things organically develop with friendships and maybe one day I’ll be able to open my heart up again. 
Thank you to you all


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