# Groping? Overly sensitive?



## HiYa (Sep 22, 2010)

I got married almost a year ago, and I love my husband very much. But there is one thing that he does that just incites rage in me and that is certain types of groping. I love the fact that my husband desires me. However, my chest area is very sensitive, both good and bad. He is constantly wanting to grab my breasts, pinch them, tweek them, etc., with clothes on and off and it drives me crazy! And not in a good way. Being as my chest is a very sensitive area, sometimes, maybe due to hormones, it is uncomfortable to me to be grabbed there. I have repeatedly asked him to respect my feelings about not groping my breasts, but he seems to act insulted when I do. I do not mean to reject him, it's just not pleasurable to me at all.

I don't mind when we are being intimate, for whatever reason. And sometimes they are oversensitive to the point that I ask him to leave that area alone. But standing in the kitchen washing dishes, or leaning over to kiss him goodbye in the morning, or just giving him a hug down the hallway, is not the time I want to be groped on. Hugs, I love. Kissing I love. I want to feel his hands embracing me. But the groping is really starting to bother me, especially when I feel like he doesn't take my request of not groping my breasts into consideration.

Any ladies out there have the same sensitivity issues, or maybe have problem with groping? Guys, what is your perspective on the situation? Any advice is welcome.
Thanks


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

Hmmm, I don't ever get groped. While I was nursing, I did not want my breasts touched at all. As far as him doing it, what is his reason, and why does he do it even though you don't like it? You say he is insulted, but he keeps doing it. Why?


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

He sounds pretty immature, but he does care for you.

Is there any time where your reaction is not so strongly irritated about it? I mean besides in bed.

If so, he is confused.

You really need to sit him down NOT when he has just done it. and not when you are in bed and tell him it hurts--physically hurts when he does that.

So please stop.

He needs direct, overt telling. He's ignorant of your sensations. He thinks it is enjoyable and you are just being a prude. His addled brain tells him you really want it even as you say you don't.

Yeah, usual admonitions to let him know you care for him and there are times it feels ok. And you may have to tell him that you will let him n=know when it is ok--for a time.


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## HiYa (Sep 22, 2010)

Perhaps he is confused. I have tried to explain that it's completely physiological and not anything to do with emotion, but he tries to tell me that he "can't help it". I do try to endure it sometimes, just because I don't want to hurt him, but sometimes my reflex is just to smack his hand away. I just can't help it. LOL Thank you for your inputs!


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## Chelhxi (Oct 30, 2008)

I think when it hurts that much, you are completely within your rights to say "Ouch!" (extra loudly) and/or smack his hand away. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and think that he's not understanding how sensitive you are there. My husband and I discussed it and he didn't understand that it was that sensitive for me, since you could punch him in the chest full-out and it'd barely hurt. 
Hopefully he doesn't want to intentionally hurt you. Guys just need a stronger message sometimes.


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## TeaLeaves4 (Feb 19, 2010)

HiYa said:


> Perhaps he is confused. I have tried to explain that it's completely physiological and not anything to do with emotion, but he tries to tell me that he "can't help it". I do try to endure it sometimes, just because I don't want to hurt him, but sometimes my reflex is just to smack his hand away. I just can't help it. LOL Thank you for your inputs!


I think you are going to have to be very honest with him and let him know that your resentment over being constantly disrespected is going to grow. This could eventually turn into a situation where you don't want his touch at all, anywhere. 

My guy likes to do this and I don't mind, unless I'm upset about something else. Certain times of the month, it is uncomfortable. 
Then I just let him know and he stops. I appreciate the respect he gives me. He never acts as if he owns me or my body. Therefore, I can accomodate him and his wishes most of the time.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

HiYa said:


> , but he tries to tell me that he "can't help it".


What is he? 15?

That's just not true. Of course he can help it.


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

I also find it kind of immature. My husband at one point started doing that and it was really annoying, not sexy at all. Was a total turn off for me. 

Ask and explain nicely that it's painful for you. Or give him a taste of his own medicine maybe then he'll get the message lol


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Just sit him down and be honest, and very, very blunt. "It physically hurts when you do this, and it's important to me that you stop." 

If he still continues, then you keep reminding him each time he does it that it hurts; like someone above suggested, say "ouch" and push his hand away when he does it, until he gets the message. 

If he still continues, then it's clearly a matter of disrespect.


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

He can absolutely help it. I honestly think it's got to do with maturity. My H does something similar and it annoys the heck out of me. He gets really disrespectful in how he says things and gets really childish. Smacks my butt and he knows it annoys me. What did it for us - most of the time- is I tell him, out of the bedroom, treat me like a lady. In the bedroom, treat me however you want. He listened, and when he does he's rewarded. When he doesn't, he gets nothin from me but looks that could kill all night lol


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

> What did it for us - most of the time- is I tell him, out of the bedroom, treat me like a lady. In the bedroom, treat me however you want.


I was going to speak my opinion on this topic, but after reading tattoomommy reply I cannot think of a single word to add.


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## drillie (Aug 23, 2010)

BigBadWolf said:


> I was going to speak my opinion on this topic, but after reading tattoomommy reply I cannot think of a single word to add.


Well said tattoomommy! He can control himself. Its not like you walk around tappin him in the balls. Maybe if you did that a few times he might get the hint.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

Yeah my husband does the groping thing all the time, it is really annoying. Every time I turn my back there he is, humping me, lol. I haven't said anything about it to him because its not socially acceptable to do so, and it would probably make him feel bad. Not sure what to do there.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

76Trombones said:


> Yeah my husband does the groping thing all the time, it is really annoying. Every time I turn my back there he is, humping me, lol. I haven't said anything about it to him because its not socially acceptable to do so, and it would probably make him feel bad. Not sure what to do there.


I'm confused: it's socially acceptable for him to hump you, but it's not socially acceptable for you to tell him to stop? Can you clear this up for me, because I don't understand that.


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## HiYa (Sep 22, 2010)

Thank you all so much for your input. It's so nice to know that I'm not just being b--chy. And tattomommy, you are the best. I appreciate all of your comments. I feel much more confident in reapproaching this issue with my husband in a loving and respectful way. I have felt for a long time like it is disrespectful, maybe that's the part that I hate so bad. But now I can tell him that in certain settings, it's more acceptable. It's not rejection, it's compromise. Great ideas, All of you! Thanks bunches!!:smthumbup:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

HiYa said:


> Thank you all so much for your input. It's so nice to know that I'm not just being b--chy. And tattomommy, you are the best. I appreciate all of your comments. I feel much more confident in reapproaching this issue with my husband in a loving and respectful way. I have felt for a long time like it is disrespectful, maybe that's the part that I hate so bad. But now I can tell him that in certain settings, it's more acceptable. It's not rejection, it's compromise. Great ideas, All of you! Thanks bunches!!:smthumbup:


Sorry, but I disagree, I think that groping is embedded in al men's primal insticts....some men have it very develped and have the twins in front of you and not being able to touch them hurts!! even more if they are aswome....if you keep telling him to back off, you'll ruin something that clearly making him very happy....why don't you try to find a comprimise....once everyother day, take him to a private place and take the twins out and let him enjoin them for a bit....let me tell you that your husband will treat you like a queen.....it is not about rejecting is about loving and understanding that breasts are amazing to a men and if yours are beautiful, not letting him touching him as much as we wants is not making your husband as happy as he could be....plus over strip joins you can pay to grop as much as you want...if your husband like it so much and you keep being so picky about it what do you thing the future looks like??


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Find the thread from loveless1. He groped his W for 13 years. Finally she snapped. She is 100 percent shutting him down sexually and does not love him anymore. 

You need to stop this before HE wrecks your marriage. 

BTW - My W is just like you. Thing is she only had to tell me once 20+ years ago and I completely stopped. I knew she didn't like it - so why would I do that. FWIW we have a killer sex life. But then I know her lovebusters and don't do them. And she knows mine and doesn't do them. 

A MAN is in control of himself. Of his desires, his emotions and most importantly his actions. A BOY has little to know impulse control. Women married to large males who act like boys tend to lose desire over time. 

I don't know how your marriage works but I know that in mine neither of us walks around on eggshells. We are very relaxed with each other. That said I have a VERY healthy fear of my W. Provoked, she turns from kitten to tiger very fast. He needs to learn a healthy fear of you. 




HiYa said:


> Perhaps he is confused. I have tried to explain that it's completely physiological and not anything to do with emotion, but he tries to tell me that he "can't help it". I do try to endure it sometimes, just because I don't want to hurt him, but sometimes my reflex is just to smack his hand away. I just can't help it. LOL Thank you for your inputs!


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## tattoomommy (Aug 14, 2009)

You are so welcome!! Let us know what happens with this! Seriously, it took a long time to break the habit, but now it's pretty much broken for us. Every once in a while he forgets himself  Good luck!


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