# Need a shoulder... Wedding plans not going to plan...



## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

I feel like everything is conspiring against us...

We have a date set to get married. We initially picked an earlier date but there wasn't enough time prior to do the official paperwork so we put it back.

The date we have now, like the first one, was carefully picked to coincide with school holidays so we could go away for a few days and have relatives look after the kids and the older ones wouldn't miss school.

It has become apparent that due to childcare issues and financial stuff, this newer date is looking to be also.impractical. OH had his heart set on us getting married then going away straight after but if we keep this this date then it will be near impossible to go away after. It's the only thing OH has expressed a strong preference about so it would be great for it to work out like that.

In the grand scheme of things, I know I've been waiting years already so a little longer won't make a difference, and we have the rest of our lives together. It's just that the logistics are seeming so awkward to line up and when I ask OH anything he says he isn't bothered/doesn't mind. I feel a lot more confident in his desire to get married but him saying things like that leaves a little voice inside my head saying that if I just left the arrangements, he wouldn't even be that bothered.

I just need someone to tell me that this will all be okay... Anyone?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

It'll be okay. 

This may be the kind of thing you will have to separate into parts: the wedding and the honeymoon. I've had a number of friends who got married and then delayed the honeymoon for weeks or even months because there wasn't a good time to get away.

The truth is, you can get married anytime. You can have a romantic getaway anytime. But you can't always do them at the same time. I'd try to decide which is more important to you, getting married or spending some time away from the kids. If the marriage certificate is just a piece of paper for you, then you focus on the getaway. On the other hand, if you want a big wedding and reception, then delay the vacation.

Heck, I've even had friends who went on their honeymoon, then came home, had their big reception, and THEN had a small wedding for just themselves and close family. So you can do whatever you want as long as you prioritize.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

tobio said:


> I just need someone to tell me that this will all be okay... Anyone?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Elope and everything will be fine.

:smthumbup:

I`m serious.


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## confuseddad (Jan 29, 2012)

Just get married in the Islands and you can have both!


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## square1 (Oct 31, 2011)

I can't even remember how many times we changed the date. It was stressful but all went well.


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

Cheers everyone :-D

We're having a small ceremony - just me and him. No reception. The honeymoon is pretty small scale, the costs really are minimal but have happened to coincide with a couple of other things which we need to juggle. And logistically? We have to work out where four kids are going to stay and when is practical: the older two are at school so has to be around school holidays and also it's too much to ask one set of grandparents to look after all four so they'll be "divided" up between two sets, one of whom works so have to ensure both OH AND his mum xan get holiday from work at the same time...

The only thing OH has expressed a particular preference about is that he really wants to go away STRAIGHT after we get married. He doesn't want to go and get married then just... Come home. I understand. I've been wanting for ages for him to take more of an interest so I don't want to dismiss it, I just feel like the project manager trying to get everyone in the right place at the right time doing the right stuff!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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