# This is a new experience with this girl I met off OKC and confused



## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

This is my first time in life going on a couple dates with a woman I met online and having this odd interaction.

she never ever contacts me first but.....

responds every text I send right away


And when I ask her out her response is "sure!!"


Doesn't seem odd that she never contacts me first atleast ONCE? So I be worried about it since she responds to all my text in one minute and agrees to go out with me?


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

OP I could be wrong are thinking what I'm thinking she someone's wife or girlfriend.? That she using OKC for her affair hook ups.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Where do you get that she's married out of her communication style?

My take on it is that she is responsive and not forward. You would have to do the pursing with this one. Of course you could ask her why she does not initiate a call/text/contact. Then you can tell her that you would like her to take the initiative about as much as you do.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

She may very well be old school like me: I don't pursue. I am pursued. :grin2: Don't overthink it and enjoy!


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Sparta said:


> OP I could be wrong are thinking what I'm thinking she someone's wife or girlfriend.? That she using OKC for her affair hook ups.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Not that I would want to be a side guy but it would be flattering since I was a HOT MESS years ago and no women found me attractive. lol

But she lives with her parents so she definitely isn't married


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

She is probably seeing or talking to 50 guys, and doesn't think a lot about you until you contact her.

Not saying anything about you, you just have to realize how the internet dating thing works. It is impossibly easy to have multiple people interested at once. Just the nature of the beast. When I found my lady, it took a little while for the texting and calls from other women to stop. It was very dangerous!
Just saying, don't be fooled into thinking you're the only guy she's interested in just yet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Evinrude58 said:


> She is probably seeing or talking to 50 guys, and doesn't think a lot about you until you contact her.
> 
> Not saying anything about you, you just have to realize how the internet dating thing works. It is impossibly easy to have multiple people interested at once. Just the nature of the beast. When I found my lady, it took a little while for the texting and calls from other women to stop. It was very dangerous!
> Just saying, don't be fooled into thinking you're the only guy she's interested in just yet.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



You are probably right since she is very attractive


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Time will tell SMG15. Maybe she's really into you but guarded or maybe she's not all that into you but likes your company. So you have a puzzle to solve.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Thundarr said:


> Time will tell SMG15. Maybe she's really into you but guarded or maybe she's not all that into you but likes your company. So you have a puzzle to solve.


I have to make a move on the next date


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

And I feel like if I bring it up I will look insecure lol


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> I have to make a move on the next date
> 
> And I feel like if I bring it up I will look insecure lol


I agree. If it were me, I'd go in for a kiss and get any tension or confusion out of the way right off the bat. And then you'll know if she's interested or not and your date can proceed as either a couple or a couple of friends. Life is too short to set back and not let people know what you're looking for. That's my opinion anyway. Good luck.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

Does she seem kind of shy in person? maybe she is scared of rejection so waits for you to ask her out. If you have been on some weird dates from the dating site,maybe start a conversation about it to see how she responds.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Lostme said:


> Does she seem kind of shy in person? maybe she is scared of rejection so waits for you to ask her out. If you have been on some weird dates from the dating site,maybe start a conversation about it to see how she responds.



A little shy but so much where it made the conversation awkward


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

SMG, it sounds to me like you got yourself a "Rules Girl."

Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other"
Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
Always End Phone Calls First
Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
Fill Up Your Time before the Date
How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3
How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
Always End the Date First
Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
Don't Tell Him What to Do
Let Him Take the Lead
Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
Don’t Open Up Too Fast
Be Honest but Mysterious
Accentuate the Positive and Other Rules for Personal Ads
Don’t Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment)
Don't Date a Married Man
Slowly Involve Him in Your Family and Other Rules for Women with Children
Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)
Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules
Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends and Parents Think It's Nuts
Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in High School
Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College
Next! and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection
Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist
Don't Break The Rules
Do The Rules and You’ll Live Happily Ever After!
Love Only Those Who Love You
Be Easy to Live With

(h/t Wikipedia)

Casual observation and thinking about what she does and how things go on dates will allow you to figure out whether or not she is following this path (replying to you regularly and quickly is not Rules behavior, so she has that going for her).

If she is, all you have to decide is whether or not you want to date such a woman.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

NotLikeYou said:


> SMG, it sounds to me like you got yourself a "Rules Girl."
> 
> Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other"
> Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
> ...




Now I see why the fetish lifestyle is more fun than dating lol


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

Yeah, people are strange.

It staggers the imagination that someone could come up with "The Rules" as a viable mating strategy, much less make a book out of it and earn money from it.

The really bad part is that, apparently, it must work for some section of men and women.

For the life of me, I can't figure out who are more pathetic- the women who utilize "The Rules," or the men who respond positively to it.

Guys can at least claim ignorance in many cases. "The Rules" don't get nearly as much exposure a they should.

But you, SMG15, no longer have that luxury. Now, thanks to the power of reading and, er, TAM, you must observe, and decide whether or not you are being schlonged most deliberately, or whether the object of your desire is just weird in other ways.

:nerd:


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

NotLikeYou said:


> Yeah, people are strange.
> 
> It staggers the imagination that someone could come up with "The Rules" as a viable mating strategy, much less make a book out of it and earn money from it.
> 
> ...


she responds faster to texts faster than the girls who contact me first LOL


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## Haiku (Apr 9, 2014)

My guess...she's a bot.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Haiku said:


> My guess...she's a bot.


Don't talk retarded


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

NotLikeYou said:


> Yeah, people are strange.
> 
> It staggers the imagination that someone could come up with "The Rules" as a viable mating strategy, much less make a book out of it and earn money from it.
> 
> ...


They exist for the same reason that the PUA exists.. but with very different goals.

The PUA exists for men to use as many women sexually as they can.

The Rules exist for a woman to find not get caught up in the PUA game, be used and then dumped. They exist for a woman to find a guy who actually cares. They are basically the old fashion 'rules' that were used when people married and stayed married for a life time.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> They exist for the same reason that the PUA exists.. but with very different goals.
> 
> The PUA exists for men to use as many women sexually as they can.
> 
> The Rules exist for a woman to find not get caught up in the PUA game, be used and then dumped. They exist for a woman to find a guy who actually cares. They are basically the old fashion 'rules' that were used when people married and stayed married for a life time.


I sent her a text at 10am and she responded at 10:01am:laugh:


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

SMG15 said:


> Doesn't seem odd that she never contacts me first atleast ONCE? So I be worried about it since she responds to all my text in one minute and agrees to go out with me?


Yes, this seems VERY weird and you should definitely be concerned that she responds to all your texts in ONE MINUTE. Strange indeed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Smg/-- you've met this girl in person and had a date with her, right?

I can assure you about a couple of things: if you take her out a couple of times and you want a kiss, make your move and go for one. If she turns awY and acts all uncomfortable, just ask her if she's just not interested or if it's too soon. Be straightforward and act like you dgaf that she didn't let you kids her either way. In most cases, a girl knows if she's into you right away. If you got a second date--/- you know.

Don't act like you care one way or the other--- you shouldn't! There's a million of them out there, too. Women like guys who aren't all needy for reassurance and not shy and seem to have confidence. Be that person! Just do to be all pushy. Give her a chance to respond if you get close. If she pulls away, just ask her about it.

If she's texting you back quickly, try taking a little time before you respond to hers. However, I personally don't go for the games crap and if I found one that wanted to play them, I moved on. The lady I'm with right now says what she wants and is plain about everything. One of the many things I like about her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> Yes, this seems VERY weird and you should definitely be concerned that she responds to all your texts in ONE MINUTE. Strange indeed.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not all of them just the one I sent this morning. But she normally responds within a hour or two.


The only time she has contacted me first is after our first date once she arrived home


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Evinrude58 said:


> Smg/-- you've met this girl in person and had a date with her, right?
> 
> I can assure you about a couple of things: if you take her out a couple of times and you want a kiss, make your move and go for one. If she turns awY and acts all uncomfortable, just ask her if she's just not interested or if it's too soon. Be straightforward and act like you dgaf that she didn't let you kids her either way. In most cases, a girl knows if she's into you right away. If you got a second date--/- you know.
> 
> ...




But it's kind of a win/win situation because I have a financial slavery fetish so if it turns out she is using me then I will just enjoy being used by a pretty women. And if she is interested in dating me then of course that is good too.

LOL


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Fetish??? Oh good grief...

Dude, you will never be happy with a woman who uses you, huh???

It's normal for a person to respond quickly to some texts, slower to others.

If she responds too quickly, it's because she's on her phone texting some other guy.....
Internet dating is usually very tiresome.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

Evinrude58 said:


> Fetish??? Oh good grief...
> 
> Dude, you will never be happy with a woman who uses you, huh???
> 
> ...



That's my way to prevent depression. Kind of my safety net for when things go bad with a girl or my job.

So rather than be all sad that she is not into me, why not get something out of a women who is getting dressed and traveling across the city to see me just so she can make my bank account lower?

LOL


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## NotLikeYou (Aug 30, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> They exist for the same reason that the PUA exists.. but with very different goals.
> 
> The PUA exists for men to use as many women sexually as they can.
> 
> The Rules exist for a woman to find not get caught up in the PUA game, be used and then dumped. They exist for a woman to find a guy who actually cares. They are basically the old fashion 'rules' that were used when people married and stayed married for a life time.


Well, I can see where following the Rules would certainly reduce the chances of being used by guys practicing PUA techniques.

BUT (you knew there was going to be a "but"), the Rules recommend engaging in behaviors that send the message to the guy that he is not important to the woman, such as "Don't call him and rarely return his phone calls."

That works great, if you're dating a guy that, uh, well, is not important to you. If you actually like the guy, it seems like you should let him know. Because guys are kind of straightforward and not terribly perceptive about some things.

And if "the Rules" are a way to avoid getting taken advantage of by smooth talking PUA's, it seems like they wouldn't need a chapter called "Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need the Rules." Because, you know, at that point, it's a pretty safe bet that you're not being PUA'ed.

Another thing about PUA's- they don't spend months chasing a girl. They are focused on meeting lots of women and having sex with as many of them as quickly as they can. Probably because they are emotionally stunted, and think that a high "number" somehow makes them more manly. Guys are also delusional a lot, but what can you do?

PUA's are in it for the short term. "The Rules" are in it for the long term.

In saying that the Rules are there to prevent women from being used for sex, it seems that you are making the argument that using PUA BS to talk a girl into consensual sex with no promise of an exclusive relationship is morally equivalent to withholding sex and affection over the entire course of the relationship in order to maintain control of the (male) partner, who, just by being in the relationship at all, is presumably demonstrating that he merits good treatment.

Show me a woman who runs her LTR using "the Rules," and I'll show you the man she doesn't love or respect. And that, gentlemen, is why you never date a woman who behaves as if she knows "the Rules."


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

SMG15 said:


> That's my way to prevent depression. Kind of my safety net for when things go bad with a girl or my job.
> 
> So rather than be all sad that she is not into me, why not get something out of a women who is getting dressed and traveling across the city to see me just so she can make my bank account lower?
> 
> LOL


Have you considered taking a training course in how to meet women? 

If circumstances are against you, it might be useful. I say that, as you use online a lot and women at work are pretty much off-limits, so you may have to train to your peak for when you meet women casually.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I was contacted by two different Texas women from ******* and our initial conversations seemed to be quite erstwhile, as we seemed to have a lot of things in common!

But the first one and I talked quite a bit for about two weeks, and then all of a sudden, she texted that she didn't want to talk to me anymore and not to call her again! I equated this with her committing to some other guy that she met on there! So I followed her orders to the letter!

The second gal I felt much better about as we conversed for damn near a month, but since she owed me a call as well as a couple of text messages, I just thought that I would "wait her out" to actually see how long it would be before she got around to calling me back! It never came!

She seemed to be "a game player" of magnanimous proportions! So I'm taking it that I won second prize with her as well, just that she chose to be totally non-communicative about it!

Let's just say that both of these women left me with the marked impression that they were far more interested in finding someone to help them maintain their monied lifestyles and could only extend romantic attraction to some guy who could do that for them!

Overall, it is this type of woman that ******* greatly seems to cater to!

Well guess what? I ain't exactly got the time, nor the patience, for any of that superfluous malarkey!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

SMG15 said:


> This is my first time in life going on a couple dates with a woman I met online and having this odd interaction.
> 
> she never ever contacts me first but.....
> 
> ...




Some women are passive and love to be pursued and led.

That means they don't usually call or text you.....guess what?....Mrs.CuddleBug is the exact same way!!!

I always text her and she loves this but she usually never texts me.

Just the way she is and I know Mrs.CuddleBug is a more conservative, shy and passive woman.


If your gf is the same as Mrs.CuddleBug, you must be the aggressor and get used to it.


Many ladies do use men for money and what they can buy them. Its sad but true. These woman are basically like prostitutes and gold diggers.

Buy me this or that and maintain my life style and I give you me (relationship), and sex.

Women like that make me sick and are a waste of skin. Gives women a bad rap.....


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## MikeTO (Aug 18, 2016)

Women who really liked me at least contact me some of the time. I wouldn't waste with someone who rarely or never contacted me first.


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## SMG15 (May 23, 2015)

MikeTO said:


> Women who really liked me at least contact me some of the time. I wouldn't waste with someone who rarely or never contacted me first.


That's why I stopped calling because I am not treating someone who 
doesn't think about me


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