# My in-laws have openly snubed me infront of my husband al over a stupid b-day gift:(



## Eire (Aug 5, 2010)

My husband has practically canonized "tho they are not dead" his parents and I have to admit, they are very nice people. Highly educated and both published authors. When I met them they were always very nice to me. Things went down hill a smidge after I busted his mother, uncle, brother and father bad mouthing me. I am not one to beat around the bush, so I corrected their misstatement to their face. I instructed them that if they had other concerns they should feel free to ask me directly.

Well, we got over that little hump in the road and everything was okay. Then my husband and I decided to move about 1500 miles away. His parents, mother especially were pretty miffed. The move was a good choice because my husband was able to find a good job with all the trimmings and is happy with it. 

Every year for our birthdays we get a gift from his parents. This year as usual he got one, but last week his mother told him they would not be getting me anything. She left it at that.

I am fine with it because I was not raised to put much stock in birthdays and gifts or even Christmas. However, she has truly hurt her son, my husbands feelings especially after finding out that they gave his bother girlfriend $500.00 for her birthday.
He has always thought his parents were the most perfect. kindhearted people that could do no wrong.

I do not want my husband to feel this way. I tell him it is not a big deal, I do not like birthdays anyways. He said it not about me, but the message they have sent to him. I tell him the more negativity he feels towards his parents the more they will dislike me and the more distant they will get. 

I would like to find a way to make his parents comfortable with me "not for gifts" but for the sake of my husband relationship with his parents.

Whats the best way to mend things?


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## Wisp (Jul 17, 2010)

Set a boundary: Let you your husband and his family know that birthday presents are for children, 18 and below, everyone else get a card or a phone call. No one is then offended.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I really don't think there is anything to gain by having a talk with these people. This entire situation was created early on by you having a frank talk with them. You are already handling everything correctly. The day will probably come where your husband will finally get enough, and he will say plenty to them. Just be thankful you live 1500 miles apart.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

You did not state whether or not (or at least I did not see it) if your husband has talked to his parents and press them for more info on why they are acting like that. Do they think you are the reason their son moved? The "air" needs to be cleared.

I can understand how your husband feels, if my mother did not like my wife I would be devastated because I am close to my mom. I am really blessed because my mom absolutely adores my wife 

good luck


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I guess I would suggest your husband speak to his parents with something like well gifts are not a big deal and the lack of a gift is not a problem. But since it is out of the ordinary I would like to know if something is bothering you that Eire and I can help fix? If we have hurt or bothered you in any way, we would like to know and see if any remedy or amends can be made.


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