# alcoholic husband left me and 3 kids



## alfiepug3

Hi i am new here. I am totally devastated. I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have 3 children. Approximately 6 weeks ago my husband was verbally abusive to our children and I whilst under the influence of alcohol and he then left. Within a week he returned home stating that he had stopped drinking and was sorry. 2 weeks passed in which i still thought he was secretly drinking and i then found out during the 1 week away he had a one night stand.

for the past 6 years i have been trying to plead with him to stop drinking. he goes a couple of days without drinking and then resumes again quite heavily. He drink drives without me knowing, drinks in the day and is frequently verbally abusive when 'he has drank too much'.

After i found out about the 1 night stand he begged and pleaded to try again, went to work and then never came home. This was 3 weeks ago. since this I have phoned/text him numerous times per day begging him to come home and stop drinking. He ignores all of my calls/texts and on the rare occasion he did answer he said he left me because of the guilt of having a one night stand and being an alcoholic and that i deserve better. He is sooooo cold to me as though i am the alcoholic and cheat.

I now will not contact him. All the times before he has come back but he now has a flat that he is due to move into. It is though he has cut me and the children out cold and moved onto a new life and has got a flat. Friends report that they see him in various pubs, totally drunk and then he gets in the car and drives! He even had the cheek to come to my home 2 days ago to show me the paperwork for a flat just to hurt me more.

I need help, i am really struggling to move on. I cant understand why one minute he was begging and pleading and then he fled and cut contact dead. I keep remembering the good times and how much we were in love. He now tells me he needs 'time and space' to work out what he wants and that he is not sure whether he loves me. I am depressed, had 2 weeks off work and every second of the day i am in agony as my heart bleeds with pain. I loved him so much, offered to support him to go to the doctors etc.


----------



## Chris Taylor

Congratulations. he did for you what you wouldn't do for yourself. He left before you could throw him out.

Things weren't going to get better. You knew that. Look at his history. Take this opportunity to get your family (what's left of it) in better shape without him.

File for divorce. Otherwise eventually HIS problem with drinking will become YOUR problem (like when he kills someone while driving a car in your name because he can't get one in his name).

he hasn't hit bottom yet and you and the kids are better off not going there with him.

When he wants to come back, he only comes back after x months of being clean and sober, that is if you haven't moved on from him by then.


----------



## badmemory

Not sure which you should be more devastated over, his ONS or his drinking. Either way, I agree with the other poster, he just saved you the trouble of doing what you should have done yourself.

He'll probably come crawling back at some point. So, please do me a favor. If he does, please post your story in the Coping with Infidelity section. To me, that's your main issue; and you'll get a lot of good advice there - even if you don't want to hear it.

In the mean time, file for D and move on with your life. Give him a consequence that he won't ever forget.


----------

