# Fed up...



## Tommy509 (Feb 11, 2011)

I've just about had it. Once again, my wife is passed out in the bathroom. After drinking too much at a charity fund raiser and falling down on the way out, she's passed out. I'm tired of it. This has happened far too many times. It embarrasses her professionally and personally and I'm embarrassed to be married to her. I considered leaving her in the bathroom and going to a hotel, but since I have the bed to myself, I’ll just stay. We’ve had so many fights about her drinking, I give up. I’m fighting depression and health issues because of stress about the marriage. I’m 50 and she’s 56 and we’ve been married 25 years, but I can’t see spending another 25-30 years together. She’s overweight and doesn’t want to do anything about it and drinks too much. I’ve lost desire for her, so we hardly ever have sex any more. I’m just tired of it...


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Will she admit she has a problem? Have you made it clear that you aren't happy? Would she seek help if she knew she would lose you if she doesn't?


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## Tommy509 (Feb 11, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Will she admit she has a problem? Have you made it clear that you aren't happy? Would she seek help if she knew she would lose you if she doesn't?


I've let her know many times that it's a problem. She just gets defensive and says I'm being controlling. I've never actually threatened to leave. She's cut back several times, but keeps going back to it. It's not a constant problem, but she just seems to have little self control and doesn't think about what she's doing. I'm a very self disciplined person and it's hard for me to put up with such a lack of it.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Until she decides to stop and fix the problem herself there is nothing you can do aside from leave, which is what I'd recommend doing. 

I know from experience that staying with someone who has a bad drinking problem will do you know good at all. Perhaps when she sees what she is in danger of losing she will try and get help, but probably not. However you can get on with your life.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea, I didn't ask if you told her it was a problem, but if she will admit she has a problem.

Alcoholics will hardly admit it. She needs help but you cannot help her.


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## gagirl61 (Nov 27, 2011)

Tommy. I am so sorry. The saddest thing is how long you guys have been together. I have only been married 21 months(2nd marriage). I knew my husband from a long time ago when he was a sot drunk. We were neighbors and both married to other people. There was nothing that went on between us. Just noticed he didn't have a driver's license and if he wasn't at work he was drunk. His wife seemed nice enough. Then, I moved from there in 2000, and we ran into each other back in 2009. He was actually sober. Told me he had been for 4 yrs. I don't hold someone's past against them, so I accepted his offer of a date and we were married pretty quickly(BIG mistake). He had lied and I have lived a complete H___ since then. But I'm through. He got a DUI 2 wks ago and I made him move out. It takes such an emotional toll. Surely your wife (with the time invested in your marriage) would make some changes. Sit her down and tell her "You've got to quit drinking AND the weight is a big turn off. Do something or I've got to move on" Take care.


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