# Husband having an affair-please help



## bossesgirl26 (Jun 19, 2011)

Two weeks ago I found out my husband was involved in an emotional affair. Within 24 hrs of me finding out, it escalated to a physical affair. He is now well into the "affair fog." His photo may as well be in every book on infedility regarding the affair fog. In the past 2 weeks he has refused to quit seeing her. He now openly texts her and even talked on phone with her while rest of us were home. He tells me when he is going to see her. He says he loves me and our family. But the other woman is like a drug addiction. She filled up the emotional needs he was missing. He openly states he wishes he never got involved with her, but she is like a drug and he doesn't know how to stop or want to. He is completely in la la land. He and I have talked extensively. Sadly we have had some of the best emotional conversations we have had in years since this happend. I love him and our family. I want to reconcile. However I know that is impossible while he is still seeing her. I do not want him to keep staying here and thinking an open marriage is okay. He will lose any respect (if any left) for me. But I feel if he leaves he will just go stay with her, because no other options. But maybe he needs a dose of reality. But I want to protect my 4 small children too, ages 10 and under. He said it is no longer about me, that it is how he feels for her. I am so shocked, hurt and devastated. Some how by the grace of God I have managed to remain loving, calm, non argumentive or judgmental the last 2 weeks. I am very committed and dedicated to him and our family. But not an idiotic doormat either. I am so confused. My mother is deceased and I haven't told my father. He cheated on my Mother. So I don't feel comfortable telling him. I don't want to tell our closest friends, for we are very involved in our Catholic parish community. I just don't know what to do. Do I allow him to stay here and institute some boundaries about the other woman? Or do I tell him he needs to leave? That way he can get a dose of this chic he's been involved with for a minute, okay a big 4 weeks. She has never been married and has two kids by two different men. She has been bugging him about why he hasn't left me and why we are going to counseling if he wants her. She can't believe I haven't kicked him out. Can anyone please offer suggestions or advice? I want him to get rid of her. His thinking is so whacked right now. This is a man who has been a proclaimed devout Catholic, always has put kids/family first. I know that nobody is exempt from infidelity. Just disappointed and heartbroken. I want my husband and my family. We both take responsibilities and ownership for our shortcomings and errors. Please help. Thank you. OH, we have been together for 17 years and married 14. I am 39 and he is 42.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Kick his ass out.

Seriously. He is completely disrespecting you and in your own home!


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Escalate consequences. 
This may take a while. 
Make him choose. Affair or you and family. He is cake eating. 

Be strong. BE CALM.

Tell him to leave if he wants to continue affair. He will probay leave.. Hang tight!!!



_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I'm the-guys wife, we share posts because we are recovering spouses. Sharing your hardship with your dad may be helpful. He probably regrets his chioces. Wether you have his support or not is "not do or die".... your husband is the one who needs to face reality here!

the-guy says;
I suggest you make this A as uncomfortable and as inconvienent as possible by exposing it and confronting this BS head on. Your H has taken the easy way out, and if you want to fight then expose this to family and friends.
Again making this A as uncomfortable as possible to continue.


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