# Im lost and scared



## Kevinb (Jan 8, 2012)

2 days b4 Christmas my wife told me she did not love me anymore, it came totally out of the blue. She came of her antidepressants about 3 months ago and I just cant seem to talk to her, she is not the same woman I fell in love with. We have 2 beautiful boys 7 & 4. She went on a 10 day holiday with her parents but I was not welcome to go. Like any couple we have our issues but this is just so out of character. We both love our children dearly and she just refuses to talk to me about anything. Im wondering if it is coming off the medication that is causing this or has she as she says just not in love with me anymore. I would think that if you have 2 kids you would at least give it an opportunity to try and work things out? Also it was only a week or so b4 this incident that we made love and she told me she loved me. Now she says she has made an apointment to see a lawyer 2morro.....I just dont know how things have got so bad so quick....Could it be coming off the meds? Can someone please help me as I am so in love with my family. Her reasons are that "I treat her horribly, yell at her, am lazy around the house, didnt support her when she post natal depression with our 2nd son" I dont treat her horribly I dont know where she gets that and she wont elaborate, at times we both yell at each other but this is not a daily thing, I am probably guilty of not helping as much as I should around the house I admit to that, I dont know what she means by not supporting her through her 1st bout I think we had a fight once and I told her to take her happy pills....I know this was wrong. Is it coming off the meds or do people just give up on marriages without trying????


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## merri (Jan 3, 2012)

It's possible the coming off the meds is making her feel "grumpy" but I also wonder about the conversations on the 10 day holiday. I wish I could tell you what she is thinking. Is there a way you can try to stay calm (i know extrememly hard) and just listen to how she came to this decision without interupting her. I would let her know you still love her. Maybe ask what might change her mind? You can decide if it's reasonable but if you can get her to tell you what she is thinking, I would hope it would be a start. Best of luck.


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## Kevinb (Jan 8, 2012)

Thank you merri, she is just so bitter right now and thats what I cant figure out and thats why I think she may be going through another bout of depression. I have told her how deeply I love her and the boys and she says her mind wont change but as i said this is so unlike her and it seems to have escalated from 0 to 100 with no warning. Im trying to keep calm but I am so sad.


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## merri (Jan 3, 2012)

I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to say, other than to hope for you. Sadness of the heart can be so hard. Try hard not to let it consume you.


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## Kevinb (Jan 8, 2012)

thank you, you're right it is all consuming.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It could be her getting off the meds. How did she get off them? Did she just stop cold turkey? Or did she follow the doctor's instructions for stepping down the dose? This can make a huge difference.

You have not brought this up but I want to give you a heads up. If she asks you to move out of the house, do not do it. Tell her that if she wants a separation she can move out. But you will not leave, nor will you allow her to move the children out of the family home. This is important.


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## Kevinb (Jan 8, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> It could be her getting off the meds. How did she get off them? Did she just stop cold turkey? Or did she follow the doctor's instructions for stepping down the dose? This can make a huge difference.
> 
> You have not brought this up but I want to give you a heads up. If she asks you to move out of the house, do not do it. Tell her that if she wants a separation she can move out. But you will not leave, nor will you allow her to move the children out of the family home. This is important.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kevinb (Jan 8, 2012)

Thank you. I have already told her that I am not moving out but if she goes the kids will go with her as I can't look after them myself. she did wean off the meds but what I see in her now is a completely different woman. she seems to have so much anger and resentment toward me. I'm thinking that the depression is back and I seem to be the focus of all her resentment. I am using an iPad so I don't seem to get the link for the 180 & others you mentioned. Would you mind typing the link in for me.
Thank you so much for your comments....it really helps.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kevinb (Jan 8, 2012)

Ele I got the links thanks for your help. Im seeing a Councellor tomorrow morning....should be interesting

Kev


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