# Marrying young?



## younglove09 (Sep 20, 2009)

I am 19 and so is my boyfriend. We have been dating on and off for the past 3years. We are taking a step for marriage and truthfully I have no doubt in my mind about wanting to be with him. I am just wondering what are people's views on marrying young?


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## 20yrs (Sep 18, 2009)

I know of couples that got married at a young age and were happily married for many years.

I was just turned 20 when I got married and that was 20 years ago...I am still very happily married to the only guy I ever dated.)

I think it is not so much your age that matters, as your willingness to commit till death doth part.


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## OFM_Tom (Sep 18, 2009)

I can't speak for anyone else, but when I was 19, I had no doubts about much of anything. Of course now that I'm 38 I can look back and see how wrong I was. But that shouldn't necessarily deter you. Just know that you do a lot of changing between 20 and 30. What is true about you now might not be true in a few years.


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## TNgirl232 (Oct 5, 2008)

From my point of view - wait. My ex and I were together from the age of 16 until we divorced at 25. Of all my friends that got married before graduating from college - only one is still happily married. The rest are divorced...even the extremely religious ones who went into with their faith leading the way. What you think you want at nineteen is vastly different at 22 and then again different at 25. 

I think what I am trying to say is live your life a bit, and that doesn't mean live it separately, but get some life experience under your belt to make sure your both going to be on the same path in the future and that one of you doesn't get restless for the life you think you missed. There really is no hurry to walk down the aisle.

Also - you mention dating "on and off" - if you're going to get married - shouldn't you be in a committed dating relationship for a steady amount of time...instead of on and off....marriage has only one setting.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

There is a lot of truth about personal growth between 20-30. I married my current wife at 20. She lost herself in the marriage which is what most people do. Then look back at what they missed or who they are. It is a question that will be asked forever. There is no right or wrong answer but the key is flexability and never give up. Most of the struggles married couples goes through is when kids are involved. Your life is no longer yours and most people have a hard time accepting that. Yes your able to do things sometimes but you don't have free run. If I was to do it all over I would have gone through a lot of couples counseling to prepare for marriage and what to expect. I would seriously suggest it. It will make the issues and changes so much easier..


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

Good suggestions already posted. My husband and I were just talking about this the other day and I thought what he said made sense...if you have never lived on your own, it is a good idea to do so for a few years. If you go straight from your parents home to married life, you may wonder what you missed as you get older and also not experienced the independence of being on your own.


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## hideandseek (Sep 21, 2009)

What is the rush? They say your personality isn't truly formed until age 25 and that any relationship that is solidified before then faces a lot of difficult challenges, especially when it comes to communicating. I was married at 21 and our first child at 22. I am now 38 and we are separated. We've been trying to reconcile for several months, to no avail. He resented marrying so young when he was in his late twenties and he drifted away. I'm not saying that will happen to you but I never thought it would happen to me. I thought we had a GREAT marriage up until a bombshell hit me in May 2008. If you are aware that you face these extra challenges and you are willing to work harder than a couple that marries when they are older, you could make it.


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## angryandfrustrated (Sep 12, 2009)

I married early and although I am still married I so regret it. 

My advice is to commit to doing things that you love. Travel, go to school, find things you're passionate about and support them wholeheartedly. Although he very well might be the guy for you, there must be things that you want to do before you undertake a partnership full of compromise. It's not a fault if he doesnt love everything that you do, if you have done what you wanted. I know that it seems like you should be able to agree on this stuff if youre married, but just test it. Be amazing and fantastic and make lots of stories to tell your children and grandchildren some day and if he wants to come along great and if he doesnt you dont have to compromise.

Just remember marriage means compromise and now probably isnt the best time to not do everything the best way...your way.

Keep us posted.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i had a few friends get married at about 19 when i was in college. about ten years later and they are still married. and ive known people who get married later in life and divorce. it probably doesnt really matter.


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## italiana86 (Oct 21, 2008)

20yrs said:


> I know of couples that got married at a young age and were happily married for many years.
> 
> I was just turned 20 when I got married and that was 20 years ago...I am still very happily married to the only guy I ever dated.)
> 
> I think it is not so much your age that matters, as your willingness to commit till death doth part.


:iagree:

I'm 22 (almost 23) and I got married now for a year. 

It depends how strong you are willing to fight for your marriage if things turn a little ugly (this is real life) because there will be always ups and down in a marriage. So if you have no doubts and know him now for 3 years and your heart is telling you that this is the right thing and if you think you can deal with his bad habits yes, than go for it. :smthumbup:

listen to your faith in your heart that is what I did and I'm happy about my decision, even thou a lot of people said and still say that I'm crazy getting married at a young age * LoL *
We will always go through bad experiences in life if married or if not. If it's no problem in our marriage it will be a problem in our familys, health or something else..... Every day is a fight! Either, or.....

btw. I need to say, I saw everything I needed to see (traveled a lot) and had good experience in life! Only thing is now my carrier, but my hubby supports me in what ever I want to do!
The thing is I might look young and am young but I'm very mature and know what I want and need!! And if you do so follow your heart, everybody is going through different experiences in life!
most of them bad, but some are good too!!!! very good!


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## italiana86 (Oct 21, 2008)

swedish said:


> Good suggestions already posted. My husband and I were just talking about this the other day and I thought what he said made sense...if you have never lived on your own, it is a good idea to do so for a few years. If you go straight from your parents home to married life, you may wonder what you missed as you get older and also not experienced the independence of being on your own.


Yes :iagree: to that as well!!!


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I believe getting married after the age of 25 is the best way to go. 

I believe you should finish all your schooling first, including a college education.

But you must make your own choices.

My wife and I dated 7 years before marriage, been married 13 years, both have college degrees and great careers.

Best of luck, it is your decision not ours, but if you have doubts wait. If it is truly love doesn't matter how old you are.


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## Loving Husband (Aug 3, 2009)

If you decide to get married take your vows seriously. You marriage will be very tough cause everybodies is. We all go into it with this fantasy of how it should be but NEVER is. When the bills pile up and the stress adds up along with the kids. Your love and commitment will be tested. Do not ever take the easy way out. This world needs more hard work. Most marriages end not because they should but because people give up to quick. Good luck with your decision.


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## amberlynn (May 24, 2009)

My husband and I dated for a year, I turned 17 and moved out of my parents house and in with him, we lived together for a year and got married the day I turned 18..he was 21 at the time, I just turned 21 2 weeks ago, been married to him for 3 years and wouldnt change a thing about it.

I think its more about how you feel, if you're ready for the commitment and the love is truely there, then go for it. I was always told that its best to live with the person befor you marry them, just to see how you will get along under the same roof, worked out for me! Best of luck to you!


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

I'm stuck on this one. My recommendation would be to finish college first. If you both truly love each other, what's the problem with waiting a little longer. That way, you can test your relationship to see how things go in different situations throughout the next 2 or 3 years. That's my advice. Now, I will tell you this, marrying at your age will be a test of resiliance and how strong your love is for each other. Marriage is VERY hard but rewarding at the same time. And as several of the posts on here said - you will change. You will be a different person when you are 25, 35, 45. You will have to steer your marriage through a barrage of ups and downs and come out still married on the other side - have no doubt you will have hard times but if your love is true and you do not ever give up on your yourselves, you will have a rich rewarding life. I wish I could tell you that everything was going to be rosy forever but I would be lying. The road is rocky and if you both drive it together you will be OK.

So with that said, here goes - My wife was 19 and I was 20 when we married, before that we dated for 6 years; we started dating when we were 14. We are now going to celebrate our 30th anniversary. I am 49 and she is 48. I can tell you that it is a difficult road but I would not have spent the time with anyone else, I still love her as I did the day I married her even with the problems we have had. So really, it is all up to you and how much love, dedication, work, and sacrifice you are both willing to put into it.


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## H8M32DAY (Oct 16, 2008)

If you have any doubt in your mind at all, don't get married yet! Go out and experience life before you get tied down. At the very least live on your own for a couple of years.


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## 3773519 (Sep 24, 2009)

So much good advice here. Im 25 and my So is 31. We meet when i was like 19 or 20 and then had a baby and moved in together at like 20-21. I went from my moms house to living with him. I wish i would of waited. Even though he is an exellent father, and we make a good team as parents(thank God) we have been having a lot of trouble saving this relationship after 7 yrs. i would live on my own for a little. Enjoy being single and young. TRAVEL! i am fortunate that i still can enjoy my 20's but like i read above, i dont have complete freedom. Like anything in the beginning its all beautiful but u dont want to be 25 and feel like you didnt get a chance to do such and such. If you guys love each other you will respect each others wishes and try everything and anything to not ruin your relationship.


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