# Regretting my divorce.



## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

My wife and I got married young (19,17) we had two children right after and now after 3 1/2 years we are divorced. It started right after we got married my wife noticed porn on my computer and told me she didn't want me watching it. I agreed but found out it was much harder to stop than I thought it would be. So I was stupid and lied to her about not doing it anymore. After almost a year I finally stopped and I came clean to her about it. She was devastated but we worked through it. After 2 years I always asked her if she was over it and trusted me again. She said she did 100% and was over it. Those two years were perfect to me, expect that she never wanted to have sex anymore, but I was able to live with that becauseI loved her so much. We were a perfect match on everything else. We are both great parents to our kids, we get along better than I ever did with anyone else.
Earlier this year I discovered she was cheating on me with a guy from her work, which I got her a job at back when I still worked there. They affair last 3 months before I found out about it and confronted them one night after following her to meet him. They met up every night after work behind their work and made out and talked. She said they did oral to each other twice each and had sex one time. I found hundreds of texts between them which was nothing but sexual texts. The whole relationship seemed to be sexual only. She even took over 30 naked pictures for him and sent them to him while he never sent her one. 
When I asked how it happened she said that she just never got over what I did to her and she didn't know how to tell me. I always asked her if she was over it and she said yes. I asked her all the time of she was over it and she said yes. She said he came on to her and she was just on a bad spot and didn't know what she wanted so she went along with it. 
She felt horrible after I confronted her and did a complete 180. She became the perfect wife and tried her hardest to make it right. We started having sex again a lot, at least everyday. She let me follow her, go through her phone whenever I wanted, and never went an hour without telling me how sorry she was and how much she realized she loved me and didn't want to lose me. After a month I asked for a separation because I couldn't handle the anger and hurt from imagining her having sex with another man. 
She has never had another boyfriend or even another guy from her whole life aside from me. I was her first everything. I NEVER thought she would ever do this. It was completely out of character for her because she doesn't even like people and has zero friends. They just happened to work together and it was the first time she had ever been hit on by any guy other than me. 
After about 2 months after we separated I filed for divorce. I always told her that I couldn't handle cheating. We just signed the divorce papers 3 days ago. She begged me not to do it but agreed to do it if it was what I wanted. Since we signed I stopped talking to her because it hurts so much to talk to her about anything other than our kids. She keeps texting me telling me how she is not giving up on me and loves and wants to make this right. 
Now that we are divorced I suddenly am having regrets and am second guessing myself. I always think about just messaging her back and saying ok let's get back together. Then other times I say to myself no because she cheated. It's just back and forth. I also can't stand the thought that she can do whatever she wants with a guy and I can't stop her or even have the right to be mad. I don't know what to do, is this normal to feel this way? It hurts so much. Please help!


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

You divorced her out of anger to get her back to me. What do you expect, you didn't really detach from her. Divorce isn't the end unless you want it to be. Everything you did was vindictive.

So if you regret it start slow and date her. See if she really is remorseful or didn't want to lose the support you gave her. I myself think you did the right thing in divorcing her.


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## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

Thank you for your reply. I was curious, why do you think I did the right thing in divorcing her?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

giddiot said:


> You divorced her out of anger *to get her back to me*.


Huh?


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## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

I think he was saying it like "to me, you divorced her to get her back" like get even.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Zak082 said:


> Thank you for your reply. I was curious, why do you think I did the right thing in divorcing her?


Did she ever change jobs, or did she refuse to waver on that up until the very end?

If she refused to quit or get another job then you made the right choice, because odds are the affair never ended. That's assuming, of course, that OM still works there.

Oh, and her blaming you and your porn usage for her cheating? That's bullsh*t. It's called blameshifting, and she did it pretty masterfully in that you bought it hook, line, and sinker.

That said, I'm not saying that your porn usage (even if it's not excessive) can't create a gulf between spouses or that it didn't create a gulf between the two of you.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

What papers did the two of you actually sign? Have they been filed w/ the court? Has the divorce been officially granted?


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## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

She made way more at her job then then I did a mine so she said she couldn't quit. I asked her too and she said with me threatening divorce she couldn't take the risk of people divorced and jobless. Near the end before we signed she changed it to her willing to leave the job if I would just change my mind and try and make it work with her. 
Also near the end she finally stopped blame shifting and took responsibility for her actions. She finally started saying there was no excuse that she was just stupid. 
We signed all the papers and were told that in about 30 days we would hear back from the judge. She doesn't know that though, she thinks we are officially no longer legally married. Yet she still messages me saying that she is so sorry and wants me back in her life so we can be there for our kids and remarry.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

So essentially her remorseless led to your decision to divorce?

Has she written a time line of the affair?

Written a no contact letter to the AP?

Has she answered all of your questions about the affair?

Has she told family and friends about the affair?


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## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

She did try and call him to tell him it was over many times and he never picks up. She told me she told him at work and they haven't spoken since unless it was work related. 
She has answered every question I asked, even though there is a lot I wish I didn't ask now. 
And the whole family knows, due to me needing to explain to them why I was separating from her and divorcing her.
I always read on these forums and there are all these spouses who were cheated on and all they want is a remorseful spouse because they want to fix it. I feel guilty because I feel like I have that now, yet I don't know if that is enough to help me get over what she did. I almost wish she would be non-remorseful just so it would make it easier for me to leave. With her begging and actually trying hard to fix it, I'm having a really hard time letting go because she is making me regret divorcing her.


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

Zak082 said:


> Thank you for your reply. I was curious, why do you think I did the right thing in divorcing her?



I was just saying that you have given her consequences by going through with the divorce and I would have done the same. I have not been in your position but I don't think I could get over the betrayal and reconcile.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

You filed too soon. You should've taken more time to determine what it was that you wanted. That said, there's probably some time to put a stop to things. I'd advise you to do that. Show up at the courthouse first thing Monday morning and ask the clerk about what you can do in order to put a stop to the divorce.

Were there any lawyers involved?

Have you started working again?

Where are the two of you staying now?


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Look, Zak. Many people are able to work through an affair. And in the cases of true reconciliation, most of the folks say their marriage is stronger and better than ever.

Then there are those that simply can't work through it.

You need to figure out which one you truly are. Then, you need to accept yourself for who you are, and act accordingly. 

Even if you choose to date her again, it will hurt. 

So, are you avoiding pain or following principles?

If it is the latter, walk away with your head held high. But I suspect it is the former, and if so, living life by avoiding pain is a formula for a stunted life. 

Life will always bring you pain. How you deal with it is what determines your character.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

I get it, two young kids. First love. Other future men in her bed and your kids life. What to do? 

So, She hated porn and turned around and became an amateur porn star by sexing him images and texts With him having those images forever as a trophy. (has this ever cone up, and if so what is her response?) So what really happened here? She got played. Here is how she got played. 
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/41508-emotional-affairs-sob-story.html see F-102 response. 
And here is how he did it 
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/privat...rriage-recently-found-out-2.html#post13105770 see chaparrel response. 

Right now she most likely so over whelm (unless she is a serial cheater) any man who treats her and her kids kindly will get laid. 
Since you are at this point going to try, let's talk how.


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## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

Shortly after separating I actually got a way better job than hers that made more money, ironically. 
I do not know if I'm the type that can get over it. I have been cheated on in the past and the relationship just got worse. However I wasn't married and didn't have kids with that person and she wasn't remorsful.
Really it comes down to my wife showing true remorse. I just don't know if it's real or her trying to get me back no matter what since she has only ever dated me her whole life. Also I have never been alone my whole life. I've always had a girlfriend or wife in this case so I've never really had to rely on just myself. It has made me very co-dependent like her. 
So should I try and stall the divorce and wait a few more months to see if I can get over what she did and see if she is truly remorsful or just bite the bullet now?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Look maybe deep down you still love her maybe you still think you do...either way if you want to start dating again then do so make her work this relationship....the point is that perhaps you had to kill the marriage and to show her you were in control in order to level the playing field so to speak....she from here if you want to begin again remind her that you should be the one she has sex with in back building and send photos too.....she needs to court you.....and if in the mean time you meet someone else you can really see if it's love or lust or something else. Good luck


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Zak:

Recognizing codependency is crucial. 

Are you in IC?

I think dating her while separated and working on yourself is something worth considering.

What state are you in and how long have you been married? I ask because of the potential for unfriendly alimony laws.


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## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

Alabama and we were married for 3 1/2 years.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Okay, so no concerns for lifetime alimony.

Zak, if it were me, I would follow what Gus suggested. Put the brakes on the divorce. Date your wife. Make sure your decision is the one you can live with.

While I am not there to see it, your wife does sound remorseful and committed. 

Do you think she is worth the risk?


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## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

It really comes down to me driving myself crazy. One second I will be wanting to call her and say alright let's give this one more shot. Then the next second I'm asking myself wait why would I ever want to get back with her. She cheated on me. I have no tolerance for that. 
The reason I think I might just be done is because the only time I want to try and make it work again is when I'm thinking about how at any second she can just go have sex with whoever she wants even the guy from work. That's when I suddenly want to jump back in and make it work. 
I think I'm just not wanting her to be with someone else. I feel like I lost all control of her when she cheated on me and to get some control back my mind is telling me that I should stay with her because then I would know she would be a lot less likely to do something with another guy. I really feel like I just fear loneliness. My whole life my goal was to get married young, have kids, and be happy. I did that and then this happened and ruined it and now I don't know what to do.
Sorry that turned into a rant of sorts.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

You fear the unknown. Your inability to manage your anxiety probably has farther reaching consequences than with your STBX. 

I say this because you focus a lot on control. Control is an illusion; your illusion to keep the anxiety demons at bay. It is another way you are avoiding pain.

You need IC to figure out why you are so pain avoidant. 

As for your wife, she does not need to work with him to decide to lay with him. That just makes it convenient. This is another lie you are telling yourself. 

Your wife has things that need fixing. However, these are not nearly as important as the things in YOU that need fixing, the largest of which is managing your anxiety.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Zak082 said:


> It really comes down to me driving myself crazy. One second I will be wanting to call her and say alright let's give this one more shot. Then the next second I'm asking myself wait why would I ever want to get back with her. She cheated on me. I have no tolerance for that.
> The reason I think I might just be done is because the only time I want to try and make it work again is when I'm thinking about how at any second she can just go have sex with whoever she wants even the guy from work. That's when I suddenly want to jump back in and make it work.
> I think I'm just not wanting her to be with someone else. I feel like I lost all control of her when she cheated on me and to get some control back my mind is telling me that I should stay with her because then I would know she would be a lot less likely to do something with another guy. I really feel like I just fear loneliness. My whole life my goal was to get married young, have kids, and be happy. I did that and then this happened and ruined it and now I don't know what to do.
> Sorry that turned into a rant of sorts.


This line of thinking is horribly flawed. You never COULD control her. Hell, you shouldn't WANT to control her. Additionally, you shouldn't want a woman that you feel like you HAVE to control. And don't overlook the _real_ problem here... all it took was for some random guy to show her even the slightest bit of interest and BAM -- *she couldn't control HERSELF.*

If the only reason that you're entertaining the thought of reconciliation is that you can't stand the thought of her w/ another guy, then you need to drop it. Accept the fact that you can't control her, will never (truly) be able to control her, shouldn't want to control her, and move on. If the fact that you love her, that she's your wife, that she's the mother of your children, etc isn't enough for you to seriously consider reconciliation, then don't even consider it.

And you're right... a lot of BS's here would KILL to be in your shoes and have a remorseful WS. I get that bills have to be paid, that kids need to be fed, etc... but the fact that your WW didn't do everything that she could to put distance between herself and OM upon being discovered doesn't sit well w/ me. And the fact that she didn't offer to quit her job until pressed w/ divorce papers in hand doesn't say much (or, at the very least, nothing good) either.

And as far as being lonely goes? Dude. You're young. It won't last forever.

Now... all that said, I do think you'd be wise to pump the brakes and get your head on straight before making any major decisions w/ respect to divorce and reconciliation. IOW, do what you can to stop the divorce. Then get back into your home.

And as for the rest? I've said it before -- she needs a new job. Now. And, while I'd advise that she not burn any bridges by quitting w/o notice, perhaps management would be OK w/ a single week's notice instead of the standard two weeks. You know... given the circumstances and all.

And if she throws that crap back in your face about not wanting to quit her job w/ the threat of divorce looming overhead, just tell her that you need to see her taking chances for the sake of your marriage. You need to see her go all in. You need to see her -- in light of her transgressions -- pulling out all the stops and doing everything that she can to show you in that a) OM means absolutely nothing to her and b) she truly is willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your love, respect, and trust.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> You filed too soon. You should've taken more time to determine what it was that you wanted. That said, there's probably some time to put a stop to things. I'd advise you to do that. Show up at the courthouse first thing Monday morning and ask the clerk about what you can do in order to put a stop to the divorce.
> 
> Were there any lawyers involved?
> 
> ...


OP,
You acted hastily and without allowing yourself to think things completely through. Try and delay the filing as Gus suggested and give yourself time to figure this out. There is no timetable and if your wife is truly remorseful she will be there for you for however long is necessary.




Zak082 said:


> Shortly after separating I actually got a way better job than hers that made more money, ironically.
> I do not know if I'm the type that can get over it. I have been cheated on in the past and the relationship just got worse. However I wasn't married and didn't have kids with that person and she wasn't remorsful.
> Really it comes down to my wife showing true remorse. I just don't know if it's real or her trying to get me back no matter what since she has only ever dated me her whole life. Also I have never been alone my whole life. I've always had a girlfriend or wife in this case so I've never really had to rely on just myself. It has made me very co-dependent like her.
> So should I try and stall the divorce and wait a few more months to see if I can get over what she did and see if she is truly remorsful or just bite the bullet now?


If you are still feeling the jealousy of her possibly being with someone else you still have feelings for her. Take some time to figure this out. If she is sincerely remorseful, she will help you through this doing whatever she can and it is possible that your marriage can be made stronger by this but it will be exceedingly difficult and require extreme diligence and a lot of work on both your parts. It can be worth it, however, just so you are aware, it is rare that both parties are sold out to succeeding. You should at least explore the possibility. If she is not sincere or you cannot get over the mental imagery then you can proceed with filing. Is it worth it to you to try? That is the question. Good fortune.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

So you are 23 and she is 21? Wow,

Your kids, gender and age ? You barely mention them and you have not said a word about co-parenting. I am the last person to suggest staying for the kids. Actually children have to know the reason why so they learn both the good lessons and the mistakes of their parents to take into adult hood. No need for details, just mom chose to have more then one boyfriend and that's not good. Anything less is a failure and error on your part. (I have no kids, big regret) 

Take or make the opportunity to spend time as a family. If your wife tries to corner you tell "just give me space". And if you ever loved me please do not let other men into their lives at this time.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Also you are here, how? Has she searched for help to save her marriage? I had a key logger on my computer (unknown to wife who thought I use a PI). I did a hard 180 and bought her out of the house with paperwork done and filed within 3 months. She still used her "secret email account" without changing the password. My state had a one year waiting period. During that time if I saw be search for how to save your marriage I would have reached out.


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## VFW (Oct 24, 2012)

Gus is right, you can't control her nor should you want to do so. Marriage is best when it is a relationship of equals that help one another through life. I get the opinion from your posts that you aren't ready for a relationship with anyone right now. Personally I suggest that you get counseling to explore some of these issues so that you are able to have a meaningful relationship. Additionally, I would tell the ex and let her know where you are right now. I believe that most relationships can be fixed if both parties work to fix the problems. What she did is a terrible thing, some people want to reconcile immediately, while others never do. You need to explore this in counseling and make a command decision.


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## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

You are right. I am definitely not in any position to have a relationship. When my wife cheated it pretty much broke me and ever since I have been trying desperately to have some form of control. That is why I divorced her because with her I was just always bringing up the affair trying to understand why she did it.
I read somewhere that you will never really be able to justify in your mind the reason for cheating if you were betrayed and you have never done it. That doesn't work for me because I feel like I need to understand it and I need to be able to justify it so I can stay with her. Since I can't we just always argued and it wasn't healthy for our kids. Who are 3 and 1 years old. I realized it wasn't fair to me to stay with someone I could never trust and never be able to look at the same way I did and it wasn't fair to her to be with someone who would always question her and never stop bringing up the affair. So it definitely wasn't fair to make our kids suffer the fights due to that.
I think I just need time to settle down and figure out how to fix me first and then I can worry about my relationship. I just never thought I would be a divorced single parent. It was always my goal since I was little to be married with kids and now I don't know what I'm suppose to do. I am just being there for my kids and trying to be the best parent while working on my own problems.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

I think that is a good plan. If I were you I would clearly communicate your intentions to your STBX.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Wanting to limit her access to other men is not a good reason to jump back into the M.

If you truly want to consider getting M to her again....take your time.

Date her.....get in IC to work on your desperate need to be with someone, no matter what...that's unhealthy IMO.....a healthy person is comfortable being alone....they don't NEED anyone else...they are with someone because they want to share their life.

And if you are considering getting back with her...discuss the parameters of your situation with her in respect to dating others.

I think if you started dating her again, and then found she was seeing other men as well instead of making getting your relationship back her priority, it would damage you even further.


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

It takes a couple hours to get married and months to get divorced. If you want to reconcile and she is willing you can still do that, but its not clear to you what you really want. You have to work that out first.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*So she busts you for viewing a little porn on the PC, but she's busy sending her own personal flavor out on the airwaves to her BF? Now that's kinda like "the pot calling the kettle black!" If something weren't wrong in the marriage, I have my doubts that neither of those events would have ever occurred!

Bless her heart! She confessed to having sex with her BF only "once." And said that she only fellated him twice! All without your knowledge! How noble of her for that heartfelt confession of hers!

In "cheater-speak," that pretty well is the equivalent of dropping her drawers for this guy damned near every day! 

You have nothing to feel guilty about here as it greatly appears that you made the right call! In retrospect, if you have not already done so, you should get yourself checked out by your MD for the presence of STD's. And don't ever question or second guess your original decision to rid yourself of a cheating, lying hypocrite!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
If we boil this down to what is left it really is not monumentally difficult. You must define what "love" really means to you and your STBX wife needs to do the same. I mean REALLY define it, not some superficial, pie in the sky concept but rather what you are willing to do for love. Then you and your STBX need to sit down and decide, based on your definitions, if each of you can accept the others definition and live with the resultant relationship. If so, then begin the hard work of repairing the marriage. If not, be the best co-parenting team you can be and move on to different mates.

Look, life is difficult and never perfect, it's a constant changing dynamic that requires almost constant adaptation and, quite often, compromise. We have coined many clichés to describe it such as"go with the flow" and so forth. Some life events are minor, requiring little adaptation and some are horrific requiring us to reevaluate even our most fundamental beliefs. You are now faced with such an event and how you adapt will dictate your life going forward.

You will never find perfection in this life and to expect it is unrealistic. How we react and GROW from our mistakes is what determines our future. If, and it is a huge if, but if your wife is truly contrite and sincere about her wish to reunite the family then you are in a somewhat rare position amoung the posters here. It would behoove you to consider your options. If you attempt to find someone new you are rolling the dice on your ability to choose a woman of higher ethical and moral standards and remember, you chose your wife. There is a significant possibility that you will end up here again, perhaps with more children involved. Again IF your wife truly understands the depth of her indiscretion, she may now have developed into that woman.

Why must it be this way? Why do some people need to touch the fire before realizing it burns? I believe it to be immaturity and therefore, much like the defiant child, they must experience the pain in order to fully understand the damage fire can do. So, IF your wife has realized from her encounter and IF she has matured from the experience, then she now has an understanding of the devastating effects that fire can have. So then, assuming the "if" to be true, the last question is can you live with the scars? Just remember, you may find an unscarred woman perhaps due to the fact that she has not yet touched fire. Just something to consider.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Zak082 said:


> I just don't know if it's real or her trying to get me back no matter what since she has only ever dated me her whole life.


Svcking some guy off at work while she has a husband and kids at home? It ain't real remorse. She's manipulating you into feeling guilty.



Zak082 said:


> Also I have never been alone my whole life. I've always had a girlfriend or wife in this case so I've never really had to rely on just myself. It has made me very co-dependent like her.


You're just bummed out cause you're alone. Once you find a new girl, you'll be glad you kept your dignity and dumped this trash.

You made the right decision. It's not important you realize that today. You will eventually realize it soon enough when you've moved on.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

stick to the divorce. Best for you and your children.

If she wants to act so disgustingly, why do you want her back?


Yuck!


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## Dycedarg (Apr 17, 2014)

I know you're being asked a multitude of questions but please try to keep this one in mind: do you know what you want? What you really want. If you want to get back together with her, there are a couple other questions you'll have to answer for yourself. 

One of them is, can you get to a place where you can trust her again? If not, it would probably be an exercise in futility. You need trust in a relationship, else it falls apart. 
Another one- is she willing to do everything it takes to heal your marriage? Good luck friend, and pay careful attention- you can get some good advice from some people here.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'd probably date her, but only if she quit her job and sent a NC letter to her boyfriend.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

How did you figure out the affair only lasted three months?

This is suspect since you had been in a sexless marriage for two years?


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## Zak082 (Jun 21, 2015)

Since the divorce she has been EXTREMELY depressed and has been figuring out ways to get me back. She refuses to move on and her one friend that she has contacted me and said all she talks about is me and how horrible she feels. Everytime we talk she never tries to blame anything anymore. She just says that she is an awful person and that she is miserable and depressed because she cheated and caused her to lose me. She even went as far as to quit her job!
I divorced her and she literally quit her job because she said she couldn't stand the sight of the guy she cheated on with me. She said she hated him and herself for doing what they did. So now she is starting a new job at the court house ironically. She is showing extremely true signs of remorse and is doing everything to get me to at least date her again. So now I feel like I'm stuck. A part of me wants to just move on and find someone else but another part wants to keep talking to her and go on dates. I don't know if its just because I am hating people alone or because I am seeing true remorse for the first time. She even went as far to delete every guy that was her friend on facebook from her old job. I don't know what to do. She is making this so much harder than it should be to move on from her.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

She quit her job? Ok well if you want to date her go for it. You're right she's starting to show signs of remorse and respect for you.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

H Zak, 

You have not given any info about custody arrangement. With or with out a reconciliation you need to build a co-parent relationship. If you pick them up and leave, offer to spend the day together as a family. Set a goal with her to do so once a week. If it goes well add dinner once a week. These are not dates! What ever you decide doing this is a win-win for YOUR children. 
If she tries to talk about the two of you, politely say not now, it is to raw. 

In an.earlier post I provided two links to you to review. Have you done so? You speak about how can you ever trust her again. But really, how can you ever trust any women again after being so wrong before ? The first link is an important tool. So, for example any contact with an ex can be a problem in a marriage. Any really good relationship in the work place cam be a problem in the marriage. It makes the steps outlined outlined in the link much easier. In fact it could be considered a posm guide to how to pick and get a married women to screw you in 6 months. Why married women, because single women require a lot more work.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Date her but not exclusively. I'd find out what else is out there. She put you in this position.

You're divorced. You have plenty of time to figure this out. Time will tell if shes serious or not.

However if you do reconcile have a big fat pre nup with a clause on infidelity that gives you 100% custody and 100% of everything else.
If shes 100% changed she'll sign it.

Protect yourself. Do you really want to go there agan?


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Hi Zak,

I see by your activity page you have been back and chosen not to post. Have you reviewed the reconsilation threads. Have you looked ar other sites.

One word of caution about rec. The underlying issues neednto be addressed and be warned the triggers will always be there. Understand this and create coping mechs now - not later.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Zak

You need to fix you. That is most important.

Is your divorce officially registered as final?

When you met your wife was she a virgin? Were you a virgin?

HM


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