# He wants to negotiate...



## Gabriel527 (Jun 9, 2011)

My H left in May. No warning, no arguments, just up and left while I was at a funeral. He said we had changed and he didn't love me. He had recently joined a fraternity and started partying, we had been married two years. He emailed me that he wanted a divorce. Anyway, I have all his furniture and he had his father write my mother a letter trying to get it back. I thought this was extremely immature, especially since my circumstances are unique and my lawyer said he has no right to the furniture. Now he has emailed me for the first time since June, he said:
"So it has been a few months since you last answered any communication. I really cannot blame you though. Between the way things were handled and the rumors that have been spreading I don't think that I would want to talk to me either. I would like to not cut off communication since we have more things to settle. I still want to get you your music and pictures and other things I still have on my computer for you. I also would like to get some of my things from your Mom's house. I have now seen you on campus twice and it is weird just looking the other way. Just because we couldn't make everything work doesn't mean we have to ac that way. not sure that i know how to act though to be honest. Please email me back. I would like to hear from you. I heard that you got your license. Congratulations on that!"
I want to believe his proclamations, but he has changed so much I don't know if I can. Do I email him back? Do I respond at all?...


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## Lostouthere (Aug 24, 2011)

Leave him be at least I would. My Ex left me and I dont respond to her at all we aint friends and never will be.


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Ouch. Curious, what proclamations do you want to believe? He didn't say anything worth feeling torn over. I would respond:

"Keep the pictures and music. Contact my mom for your things [assuming your mom is okay handling that for you]. You're right - If you wouldn't want to talk yourself after what you did, then why would I? You seem to have settled things just fine without my input. Please continue to settle them on your own."

Keep looking the other way when you see him. He's immature and selfish, to say the least.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Ouch. Curious, what proclamations do you want to believe? He didn't say anything worth feeling torn over. I would respond:

"Keep the pictures and music. Contact my mom for your things [assuming your mom is okay handling that for you]. You're right - If you wouldn't want to talk yourself after what you did, then why would I? You seem to have settled things just fine without my input. Please continue to settle them on your own."

Keep looking the other way when you see him. Sounds like he's immature and selfish, to say the least. Good luck, and sorry this is happening...tons of great times to come.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

And has he filed for divorce? If not, you could see a lawyer, prep it all and serve him an agreement to sign. That would go against what I suggested in my response to his email (about handling things on his own). Either way, it's hard, but he does not deserve you, and at least it would be on record that you divorced HIM.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gabriel527 (Jun 9, 2011)

The thing is though that I really want those pictures. All of our pictures form the three years we were together are on his computer. I have no pics of my wedding or anything else for three years of my life I want my memories. And he technically isn't entitled to his stuff. I want to believe that he feels guilty and wants to talk to me but i fear he is only going with the "catch more flies with honey" philosophy.


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## Dadof3 (Mar 14, 2011)

I think he really wants to exchange the music and pics for the furniture and thats it.


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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Gabriel527 said:


> The thing is though that I really want those pictures. All of our pictures form the three years we were together are on his computer. I have no pics of my wedding or anything else for three years of my life I want my memories. And he technically isn't entitled to his stuff. I want to believe that he feels guilty and wants to talk to me but i fear he is only going with the "catch more flies with honey" philosophy.


Sorry, I misunderstood I guess. In that case, just stick to your guns. Tell him "Please send me a DVD/drive with my pictures and music. The things at my mom's are not yours. Feel free to discuss it with my attorney."

That said, do you really want the pictures from your three years with him? I can't stand to look at a picture from our 8 1/2 years (wedding, random fun times, trips all over the world, etc), as it only brings me sadness and hurt, considering she threw it all away. Sure, I don't want to erase those years from my life, but the pictures/videos/letters/cards I have from our marriage are nothing but pain right now. Maybe someday I'll want to see them again. So I understand why you'd want to at least have them.

A friend of mine wrote a song called "I'm taking my memories back", regarding a breakup. Take them back, but don't dwell on them , as your future is what's important right now, not your past.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

He emailed you for a divorce? holy crap. What a weak man.


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