# Trying to heal



## Michelle86 (Jul 3, 2013)

So my marriage ended out of no where. The ex came out of the blue and told me he didnt love me anymore. I didnt really have any idea things were so bad. He went to his annual training for 2 weeks in the military and I noticed a repeating phone # on our bill and searched it on facebook and of course it was a female nurse who worked nights which is the shift he just so happened to switch to a few weeks prior. by the time he came back I had a new place of my own. We told our son which is 4. He's still confused especially because the ex decided to volunteer for a deployment and left about a month and a half into our separation. Now our divorce went through on Sept 3 and of course he's a total jerk. He is coming home for a couple days on our sons birthday and he's wanting to bring his ho bag girlfriend to take him out on his birthday. We got into it and he started spewing out all these issues he had with me that he should have talked about a long time ago but didnt and that's what ruined our marriage so why bring it up now that our lives together are over with. Only to hurt me? It's been 3 months this week since the separation and about a week since the divorce. My question is how do you get over it. I thought I was until he brought all this stuff up again.

_Posted via *Topify* using iPhone/iPad_


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

He is justifying his infidelity by blaming you. He can't face being the bad guy so he is putting it on you.

Don't buy into his bull. He lied. He cheated. He left his family. He did that all by himself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Agree, he's making excuses to make his bad behavior seem ok to him. There are NO excuses for how he behaved, don't buy his blame/shame game.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

That was fast. You have not even had a chance to catch your breath.

Hugs girlfriend.

Counseling, family support and GAL(Get A Life) activities are my suggested course of action.

As crappy as it is, the speed with which this happened gets you on the path to the rest of your life faster than some of the folks here that are trapped living with a spouse that they are trying to break away from.

Good luck, sorry I did ot reply earlier.

Be Strong,
Stretch


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