# An applicable quote



## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

"Most people are good and occasionally do something they know is bad. Some people are bad and struggle every day to keep it under control. Others are corrupt to the core and don’t give a damn, as long as they don’t get caught. But evil is a completely different creature, Mac. Evil is bad that believes it’s good.” - Karen Marie Moning


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

OMG, that's one of my favorite authors! I know that exact quote, haha.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

What is it originally in reference to?

I find the last sentence the most appealing.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

What is bad that insists it believes it is good, but really deep down inside KNOWS its bad?


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> What is bad that insists it believes it is good, but really deep down inside KNOWS its bad?


A cunning form of evil. 


People who are bad and try to do better should be granted consideration. People who know they are bad and basically say to themselves "I know I'm terrible, that's who I am, but for the sake of my image I must insist I'm good" are spiritually lazy, rotten and selfish humans. 

My XW insisted she was "brave" to divorce (her second). As if she was a hero in her own mind, saving us from the crap person she had become. My guess is truly she just wanted to keep banging someone else and hope that it would work out, probably with the intent of keeping me as Plan B if it didn't. These are the users of the world. The vampires who drain away the life force of normal, well-adjusted people behind their backs. If yours was one of those, you have my sympathies.


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

staystrong said:


> People who are bad and try to do better should be granted consideration. People who know they are bad and basically say to themselves "I know I'm terrible, that's who I am, but for the sake of my image I must insist I'm good" are spiritually lazy, rotten and selfish humans.
> 
> My XW insisted she was "brave" to divorce (her second). As if she was a hero in her own mind, saving us from the crap person she had become. My guess is truly she just wanted to keep banging someone else and hope that it would work out, probably with the intent of keeping me as Plan B if it didn't. These are the users of the world. The vampires who drain away the life force of normal, well-adjusted people behind their backs. If yours was one of those, you have my sympathies.


Mine definitely is one of these. Thinks he did me a favor by having the affair, so our marriage can hurry up and end while I'm "still young and beautiful and can find someone else." (I'm 50, and have been married to him for half my life.)

This was another recent conversation:

Me: I can't believe you've turned out to be someone capable of cheating and lying.

He: If you think that little of me, then you really are better off without me.

Yep. He's a real hero.


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## Brigit (Apr 28, 2015)

staystrong said:


> A cunning form of evil.
> 
> The vampires who drain away the life force of normal, well-adjusted people behind their backs. If yours was one of those, you have my sympathies.


Do you feel lifeless now?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Nomorebeans said:


> Mine definitely is one of these. Thinks he did me a favor by having the affair, so our marriage can hurry up and end while I'm "still young and beautiful and can find someone else." (I'm 50, and have been married to him for half my life.)
> 
> This was another recent conversation:
> 
> ...


Exactly like texts from my STBX. This was a recent one after I commented on him not being able to make up his mind, bouncing between OW, then me, then OW again, and how is any woman to believe him? 

He said: That's right _____ so shut the fvck up and move on already!! I'm not worth your precious time!! Please please please move on. I'm fine with that, my feelings won't be hurt!!! Go, move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yes, I know I shouldn't engage. This was during an argument the other night that started (then escalated) about who was taking the treadmill.....


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## Brigit (Apr 28, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Exactly like texts from my STBX. This was a recent one after I commented on him not being able to make up his mind, bouncing between OW, then me, then OW again, and how is any woman to believe him?
> 
> He said: That's right _____ so shut the fvck up and move on already!! I'm not worth your precious time!! Please please please move on. I'm fine with that, my feelings won't be hurt!!! Go, move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> And yes, I know I shouldn't engage. This was during an argument the other night that started (then escalated) about who was taking the treadmill.....


Your soon to be ex husband sounds very abusive. Do you have kids with him?


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Nomorebeans said:


> Mine definitely is one of these. Thinks he did me a favor by having the affair, so our marriage can hurry up and end while I'm "still young and beautiful and can find someone else." (I'm 50, and have been married to him for half my life.)
> 
> This was another recent conversation:
> 
> ...


"I can't argue with that!"


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Brigit said:


> Do you feel lifeless now?


For long periods of time I did, like many others here. 

There's permanent damage, wanes with time. Being betrayed is a deep wound and deep wounds leave scars. Causes huge losses in self-esteem, spirituality, world view, finances, memories, dreams, parent/child relationships and so on and so on. I think I would have preferred she died as opposed to cheated, the only caveat to that is that my children would have lost their "mom". Quotes added for emphasis.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

staystrong said:


> SecondTime'Round said:
> 
> 
> > What is bad that insists it believes it is good, but really deep down inside KNOWS its bad?
> ...


* Sure that we weren't married to the same woman?*


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Brigit said:


> Your soon to be ex husband sounds very abusive. Do you have kids with him?


Yes, we have a 12 year old and a 14 year old. He is not at all abusive to them. I'm the only one who experiences his wrath. Well, me and some coworkers and work associates. His mother has, in the past, as well. He's just miserable, although he can fake the charm very, very well when he needs to.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Yes, we have a 12 year old and a 14 year old. He is not at all abusive to them. I'm the only one who experiences his wrath. Well, me and some coworkers and work associates. His mother has, in the past, as well. He's just miserable, although* he can fake the charm very, very well when he needs to*.


Highly typical. "If I show this face enough, they'll believe it's the real me!" It's the MO of love frauds. Hope you find a safe haven, 2TR. Document what you can.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

staystrong said:


> Highly typical. "If I show this face enough, they'll believe it's the real me!" It's the MO of love frauds. Hope you find a safe haven, 2TR. Document what you can.


Oh I am. I'm settling on a new house June 15 and moving out.


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## Brigit (Apr 28, 2015)

staystrong said:


> For long periods of time I did, like many others here.
> 
> There's permanent damage, wanes with time. Being betrayed is a deep wound and deep wounds leave scars. Causes huge losses in self-esteem, spirituality, world view, finances, memories, dreams, parent/child relationships and so on and so on. I think I would have preferred she died as opposed to cheated, the only caveat to that is that my children would have lost their "mom". Quotes added for emphasis.


I'm sorry you do seem to be in a lot pain. Did your parents have a good marriage?


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## Brigit (Apr 28, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Yes, we have a 12 year old and a 14 year old. He is not at all abusive to them. I'm the only one who experiences his wrath. Well, me and some coworkers and work associates. His mother has, in the past, as well. He's just miserable, although he can fake the charm very, very well when he needs to.


At least he's good to the kids. It's good you're getting out of this marriage. I have a feeling you'll be much happier once the divorce is finished.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Brigit said:


> At least he's good to the kids. It's good you're getting out of this marriage. I have a feeling you'll be much happier once the divorce is finished.


We are already divorced. We divorced after 14 years of marriage in 2010. This is a reconciliation that I meant and he obviously did not--thankfully we had not yet remarried, although of course he now uses that fact to prove that it's no big deal that he cheated. I've learned my lesson about a leopard's inability to change his spots. (But act like he did for a time!)

I know I will be happier and I know I'll be fine because I've done it before. However, it still hurts.


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## Brigit (Apr 28, 2015)

SecondTime'Round said:


> We are already divorced. We divorced after 14 years of marriage in 2010. This is a reconciliation that I meant and he obviously did not--thankfully we had not yet remarried, although of course he now uses that fact to prove that it's no big deal that he cheated. I've learned my lesson about a leopard's inability to change his spots. (But act like he did for a time!)
> 
> I know I will be happier and I know I'll be fine because I've done it before. However, it still hurts.


Of course it hurts. I hope you're taking care of yourself.


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