# Ugh! why did I do this?



## pacmouse (Nov 27, 2008)

My H and I are divorcing. It is what he wants. He has had multiple EA over the years and thinks he has done nothing wrong. He also suffers from depression and possibly BPD. 

I have always wanted him to get the help he needs and didn't want a divorce. However, I can NOT deal with the EAs. So I am going along with the divorce as I see no hope in my marriage if H will not get help.

I still love him and miss him terribly. I am lonely and miss my family being together. We have two daughters who are 5 and 7 and they miss their daddy so badly, that it is hard for me to watch them suffer. My 5yo cries everyday about the divorce.

My H has been gone for 2months and I have filed for divorce, but I continue to hold this feeling that this divorce is a huge mistake and if he could just get help, everything would be okay.

To make matters worse....We were intimate today and I am questioning myself for doing it. We started out just talking about our situation and how we are both so lonely. We hugged and things moved on from there. WHY did I do this? Was this a bad idea?

We are both miserable being apart. He has lost 13lbs and hasn't slept good in months. He looks so sad and I feel the same way. Ugh! I am so confused.

Should I just forget this day happened and move on with the divorce or should I continue the discussion with him about what we are doing and is divorce what really want? OR was this just a huge mistake and should I just accept I had a weak moment and not beat myself up over it?

Help! has anyone else done this?

Thanks


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## Brewster 59 (Jun 19, 2010)

Yes sleeping with the stbx has been done a million times and could mean a million different things, like sex was never the problem, I love you but cant live with you, Yada ,yada, yada.

So is he miserable enough to give up the EAs? Is he really willing to make changes? Are you? If he makes changes would you want him back? What needs to change? What would make you happy conserning this relationship.

I certainly dont see anything to beat yourself up about it seems both parties had a good time. What this means in the long run is up to you two. Hey they even made a good movie about this called "its complicated" I really liked it you might want to check it out if you havent seen it.


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