# should I tell the woman fiance she cheated on him with my husband for the past 6yrs



## May (May 5, 2012)

I posted a forum earlier about *cheating* husband. I talked about the *22yrs* of marriage that is on the *rock*, due to my husband *Infidelity* for the last *10yrs*. He *cheated* with 3 or more women. One affair lasted for *6yrs*. The woman has a *3yr* old *son*. I spoke to her, she *swears* it's not his child and so does he.. *Should* I tell this woman *fiance* about the *affair*? He's been *in* and *out* of *Prison *,she says he very *violent*. I think he should know and take a *paternity* *test*, if the *fiance* *test* comes back *neg*, I believe my husband test would be pos..


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

Everyone deserves the truth but could this man come after and hurt your family? You may want to send an unsigned letter telling him about the affair and the need for him to take a paternity test.


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

agree. he's deserves to know the truth.

every cheating spouse will tell you how crazy or deranged the "other" spouse is, so you won't tell them. 

that's their way of covering their ass from exposure.

tell!


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## MOMMY2ONE (Mar 6, 2012)

Tell him everything...they deserve to feel the consequences of their actions .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

Maybe you should tell the fiance, but leave out your husband's name, just in case his criminal tendencies lean toward homicidal.

My stbxh's AP was married, allegedly to a nasty piece of work who might just kill her for cheating on him, which is what kept me from exposing fully. I kinda wish I'd done it anyway, though. Maybe that's petty, but there are consequences, right....? Your h's AP surely knows there would be possible consequences. I don't condone violence though and I kept the details and exposure to a minimum to make sure no one got hurt, even though I now doubt whether the story was true. I have a feeling your h exaggerated to keep you from exposing, too. People say all kinds of stupid stuff to protect their secrets and their control and much of it just lies.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

You should tell him the truth, dont you think that he deserve the truth? You wanted to know all the truths of your husbands affair, so is he. Why should you put him in a place to grow with lies, deceit and some one else child? By not telling the truth you are punishing him to grow someone else s child, she may be sleeping with other men also.

She fear the consequences of getting exposed to her fiance, A was her choice she should own it and face the consequences. She may be portraying him as violent so that you dont disclose it to him. Cheaters open their mouth to lie and manipulate.


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## Ben Connedfussed (May 4, 2012)

BryanP is correct. Unasigned info is best and yes, all involved need to know. Sometimes the unknown is worse than the truth, but helps to clear the air so we can go on with our lives, even though we may have to rebuild. The truth is better. Good luck! Expose her to her fiance. It might teach her a valuable lesson. It will show your spouse something important as well... Your self confidence and strength!


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Send proof and keep - all husbands are a pice of s*** that's why they're cheating on them - apparently.

Keep you H name out of it, just send proof. That way if he is a nutjob, it'll just be her problem.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Ben Connedfussed said:


> BryanP is correct. Unasigned info is best and yes, all involved need to know. Sometimes the unknown is worse than the truth, but helps to clear the air so we can go on with our lives, even though we may have to rebuild. The truth is better. Good luck! Expose her to her fiance. It might teach her a valuable lesson. It will show your spouse something important as well... Your self confidence and strength!


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Yes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

cledus_snow said:


> agree. he's deserves to know the truth.
> 
> every cheating spouse will tell you how crazy or deranged the "other" spouse is, so you won't tell them.
> 
> ...


agreed:

Yes, out the affair to wounded person. 

As for him being violent.....likely that's bull, 

my husband told me the OW's husband would beat her. 

The truth I found out from the OW's own father is that the OW's husband is kind and gentle and generous with the entire family. 

The father is angry that the daughter is risking her marriage because her husband is such a good man.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

May said:


> ? He's been *in* and *out* of *Prison *,she says he very *violent*. I think he should know and take a *paternity* *test*, if the *fiance* *test* comes back *neg*, I believe my husband test would be pos..


pretty standard plea from an OW.

Exposé to her fiancé,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## May (May 5, 2012)

Update I haven't spoke w/fiance yet..Still trying to figure out how to get intouch w/him. He's not on fb, I dont know his email or his ph# I dont even know what he looks like.. I do have a home address. Should I send him a anyonymous letter? I know is name.. Knowing his Prison history I'm afraid he might blow up and kill her.. I would hate that..But, I guess anything could happen when you're cheating on your wife or fiance.. I haven't left my husband yet. I will at some point.. Right now I'm gathering info so, when I do file for a divorce the judge will give me everything I asked for.. I have recordings of the 3 ladies, phone records, pictures, texts, from the women and his old cell phone w/numbers and pictures.. I gather info everyday.. He's begging me to quit talking to the woman that busted him.. He did get tested for STD"S All test was NEG.. I read the results..Doesn't stop me from leaving him..


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

if you tell. then tell it was your husband. If this guy goes nuts and hurt her or the child, then your husband should face the same threat. How would you feel if the guy hurt them ??


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

May said:


> Update I haven't spoke w/fiance yet..Still trying to figure out how to get intouch w/him. He's not on fb, I dont know his email or his ph# I dont even know what he looks like.. I do have a home address. Should I send him a anyonymous letter? I know is name.. Knowing his Prison history I'm afraid he might blow up and kill her.. I would hate that..But, I guess anything could happen when you're cheating on your wife or fiance.. I haven't left my husband yet. I will at some point.. Right now I'm gathering info so, when I do file for a divorce the judge will give me everything I asked for.. I have recordings of the 3 ladies, phone records, pictures, texts, from the women and his old cell phone w/numbers and pictures.. I gather info everyday.. He's begging me to quit talking to the woman that busted him.. He did get tested for STD"S All test was NEG.. I read the results..Doesn't stop me from leaving him..



Make sure you make copies of all the info you have. Have one copy outside the home, like with a very trusted friend, for example.


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

> if you tell. then tell it was your husband. If this guy goes nuts and hurt her or the child, then your husband should face the same threat. How would you feel if the guy hurt them ??


if people worried about the reprecussions associated with exposure, no one would be willing to "tell."

how 'bout this-- if cheaters put enough thought surrounding these consequences there would be nothing _to tell _, right.

this OW knew damn well her fiance might be unstable, yet it didn't deter her from dropping her undies for this OM.


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## May (May 5, 2012)

OldWolf57 said:


> if you tell. then tell it was your husband. If this guy goes nuts and hurt her or the child, then your husband should face the same threat. How would you feel if the guy hurt them ??


I would feel bad.. But, by the same token this is a choice she made.. If her fiance is as violent as she says, then she should've been too afraid to cheat on him..


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

May : Often wayward spouses and the OW's say her partner , husband, boyfriend are violent. This is a standard ploy , don't fall for it, let him know the truth. 

Ignore them and send a note to the fiance furthermore it is pointless not mentioning your husbands name or yours. Her fiance will question her and over time will find out the whole truth. It is then his decision to be with her or walk away. 

This OW was content to cheat with your husband for 6 years, your husband was more than happy to lie to your face for 6 years. Expose the affair and let the chips fall where they fall. The message to your husband is firstly you will be honest with people and secondly there are consequences for his adultery.


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## Ben Connedfussed (May 4, 2012)

I like the post and messages being sent your way. I wonder just how many people would cheat on their significant other if they thought there was a chance the affair would be exposed? Some would still cheat. I believe if there was a great chance for exposure, a lot of affairs would not happen. Furthermore, if people out here in public that are seeing the affairs and keeping quite would speak up and tell what they know, maybe all this hoo-doo would not be going on. If I knew my friend was cheating on his spouse, from where I stand now, I'd out him to the spouse. In some way or some form. The BSs need to know. They deserve the truth. And more so, let the guilty parties receive the punishment they deserve... come what may. I hope you feel better and good luck.


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## OldWolf57 (Mar 20, 2012)

not saying you should not. responding to those who say tell but not outing husband. personally I'd tell, and let the chips falls where they may


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

If you really are afraid she might be hurt - then I would still tell, but right after you do, warn her that you did it, so she can hide. BTW - tell the guy you are telling her as well, that way everything is out in the open.

but I don't think she really was afraid of him hurting her. She wouldn't be running around on him if she was.


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## May (May 5, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> If you really are afraid she might be hurt - then I would still tell, but right after you do, warn her that you did it, so she can hide. BTW - tell the guy you are telling her as well, that way everything is out in the open.
> 
> but I don't think she really was afraid of him hurting her. She wouldn't be running around on him if she was.


I agree,, If she was so afraid of what the fiance might do to her, she never would've cheated on him,, She claim she only was with my husband when fiance was in prison, thats a lie. I have phone records that shows she made calls to my husband even after fiance got out of prison.. She had a child in 2009, I want her and the fiance to have a paternity test, If it's not his baby theres a strong chance it's my husband.. She swears the baby is the fiance,,


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I would leave the kid alone, otherwise you might end up paying child support.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

May said:


> Update I haven't spoke w/fiance yet..Still trying to figure out how to get intouch w/him. He's not on fb, I dont know his email or his ph# I dont even know what he looks like.. I do have a home address. Should I send him a anyonymous letter? I know is name.. Knowing his Prison history I'm afraid he might blow up and kill her.. I would hate that..But, I guess anything could happen when you're cheating on your wife or fiance.. I haven't left my husband yet. I will at some point.. *Right now I'm gathering info so, when I do file for a divorce the judge will give me everything I asked for*.. I have recordings of the 3 ladies, phone records, pictures, texts, from the women and his old cell phone w/numbers and pictures.. I gather info everyday.. He's begging me to quit talking to the woman that busted him.. He did get tested for STD"S All test was NEG.. I read the results..Doesn't stop me from leaving him..


Where do you live? Do you live in a fault state? In most states the court will not even want to hear about infidelity or other marital probelms.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I don't believe that fear of what her fiance would do to her if he found out she cheated on him, would have been enough to stop her from having had an affair with your husband.

Men and women, can and do get caught up in the sexual frenzy of being with each other, no matter if they are in a committed relationship with other people. Like it or not, we are hardwired to emotionally bond and fvck our brains out, and many times without thinking of the consequences of doing so.


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## May (May 5, 2012)

I ive in TN, they have fault and no fault..


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

i know everyones already answered you but think of it like this, if it were you, wouldnt you want to know?


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