# X Wife is being nice!! - Ulteria Motive?



## MovingForward

Hi all. I have not updated for a while but something has been bugging me, My XW is being nice!!!

We have had a lot of conflict mostly driven by her and POSOM over the last nearly 2 years all via Text, Email or Legal channels, we have not agreed to anything and she continually made every effort to go against me and make my life as difficult as possible. 

The last couple months she has been friendly in text, gone out her way to submit court docs to lower child support, picked up expenses she would usually harass me for, asked me if certain things 'work for me' in relation to the children and schedule and even tried to start a chit chatty conversation with me when I had to meet to collect some notarized paperwork. 

Has she finally calmed down and does not want hassle and conflict anymore or does this sound like an ulteria motive in the works?


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## sa58

Could depend on how her relationship with POSOM is?

Maybe the grass is not as green over there as she thought 
it would be. Calming down would be better conversation 
but lowering child support and picking up expenses ?

Proceed with caution!!


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## MovingForward

sa58 said:


> Could depend on how her relationship with POSOM is?
> 
> Maybe the grass is not as green over there as she thought
> it would be. Calming down would be better conversation
> but lowering child support and picking up expenses ?
> 
> Proceed with caution!!


I am keeping well away. Child support was due to be reviewed but she could have made it very difficult but instead chose to assist in streamlining it.

Not sure how the relationship is, they get married in a few months(hopefully)


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## Mr. Nail

MovingForward said:


> I am keeping well away. Child support was due to be reviewed but she could have made it very difficult but instead chose to assist in streamlining it.
> 
> Not sure how the relationship is, they get married in a few months(hopefully)


Oh it's just the pre princess day glow.


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## Cynthia

No one knows and you are not going to figure it out unless she tells you or it otherwise becomes clear. The fact is that she has calmed down and is being cooperative. Enjoy it while it lasts. Keep moving forward and count your blessings. It doesn't matter if she has an ulterior motive or not, but you know not to trust her.


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## Yeswecan

CynthiaDe said:


> No one knows and you are not going to figure it out unless she tells you or it otherwise becomes clear. The fact is that she has calmed down and is being cooperative. Enjoy it while it lasts. Keep moving forward and count your blessings. It doesn't matter if she has an ulterior motive or not, but you know not to trust her.


Sound advise.


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## sa58

MovingForward said:


> I am keeping well away. Child support was due to be reviewed but she could have made it very difficult but instead chose to assist in streamlining it.
> 
> Not sure how the relationship is, they get married in a few months(hopefully)


You got it all ready, you know how she is


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## x598

yes she has a self serving motive. figuring out what it is? who cares.


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## SunCMars

Ah, she finally got the memo.
She is now nice and respectful.

I think she finally opened her eyes.

Maybe she grew up.
Maybe the bubble blew up.

It very well may be the children are paying attention.
She wants to put up a good face with them.

And she probably is not listening as intently to her POSOM.
Soon, he will likely be the new bad guy.

Or, the new guy is stable enough to lean on, therefore she no longer needs to keep her hanging hooks in you.


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## AandM

MovingForward said:


> Hi all. I have not updated for a while but something has been bugging me, My XW is being nice!!!
> 
> We have had a lot of conflict mostly driven by her and POSOM over the last nearly 2 years all via Text, Email or Legal channels, we have not agreed to anything and she continually made every effort to go against me and make my life as difficult as possible.
> 
> The last couple months she has been friendly in text, gone out her way to submit court docs to lower child support, picked up expenses she would usually harass me for, asked me if certain things 'work for me' in relation to the children and schedule and even tried to start a chit chatty conversation with me when I had to meet to collect some notarized paperwork.
> 
> Has she finally calmed down and does not want hassle and conflict anymore or does this sound like an ulteria motive in the works?


Hope for the best! That your real XW was abducted by aliens, and this is her replacement LMD.


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## Taxman

For my money, OM is likely long gone. Only see this on two occasions; The wayward sits bolt upright, realizes the cruel heartless manner that they treated their spouse, experience immediate remorse and start crawling back (in fairy land or even further off the grid) ORRRRRR! POSOM/OW has flown the coop, and suddenly faced with the prospect of having to get out there again without a safety net is not so palatable. So, the ex is suddenly not a bad choice. As I say in these circumstances, NO, NOPE, NEVER, WARD THEM OFF WITH GARLIC AND A CROSS.


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## Marc878

A zebra can't change their stripes for long. I'd bet the honeymoon bliss with POSOM is ending.

Never let your no contact down. You would be wise to forever stay well clear of her no matter what.

You found a good one. Traded up. The best way to destroy that would be letting the X in the mix.


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## Marc878

If your inner Mr Nice Guy tries to raise his head. Take a club and beat it down.


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## MovingForward

Marc878 said:


> If your inner Mr Nice Guy tries to raise his head. Take a club and beat it down.


I have no interest LOL, I dont talk in person ever, she has tried to engage me twice i think since we separated and I refuse, i will only ever communicate via text or email so its recorded and I only answer if directly involving kids and requires a response, otherwise I read and carry on. 

It is just unsettling not knowing what she has planned, she even brought lunch for kids and my girlfriend when she dropped kids off today :scratchhead:


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## sokillme

A wise man doesn't pet a scorpion just because it's resting.


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## Marc878

MovingForward said:


> I have no interest LOL, I dont talk in person ever, she has tried to engage me twice i think since we separated and I refuse, i will only ever communicate via text or email so its recorded and I only answer if directly involving kids and requires a response, otherwise I read and carry on.
> 
> It is just unsettling not knowing what she has planned, she even brought lunch for kids and my girlfriend when she dropped kids off today :scratchhead:


I get it. Makes you wonder but it really doesn't matter. I would never crack that door. You can be civil from afar. It's your best path. Keep it up.


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## Chuck71

She is playing Led Zeppelin..... "In through the out Door" Planting a Plan B since Plan A may fail.

She may now regret, or it may be she realizes the guy is about to bolt. All about a safety net.

Her ass must fall on a pillow.......somewhere. You were warned of this....


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## Edmund

Could she be planning to get more custody of your children?


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## sokillme

MovingForward said:


> Hi all. I have not updated for a while but something has been bugging me, My XW is being nice!!!
> 
> We have had a lot of conflict mostly driven by her and POSOM over the last nearly 2 years all via Text, Email or Legal channels, we have not agreed to anything and she continually made every effort to go against me and make my life as difficult as possible.
> 
> The last couple months she has been friendly in text, gone out her way to submit court docs to lower child support, picked up expenses she would usually harass me for, asked me if certain things 'work for me' in relation to the children and schedule and even tried to start a chit chatty conversation with me when I had to meet to collect some notarized paperwork.
> 
> Has she finally calmed down and does not want hassle and conflict anymore or does this sound like an ulteria motive in the works?


Who cares she is an *******. Just enjoy it while it last.


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## MovingForward

Chuck71 said:


> She is playing Led Zeppelin..... "In through the out Door" Planting a Plan B since Plan A may fail.
> 
> She may now regret, or it may be she realizes the guy is about to bolt. All about a safety net.
> 
> Her ass must fall on a pillow.......somewhere. You were warned of this....


Oh I am not getting sucked in, was just curious, turns out the POSOM is having a lot of legal hassle with his X so I am sure she has lost his backing/encouragement, is tired and doesn't have the energy for it or she does not want to look bad to POSOM in case he changes his mind about marriage.......... or a combination of the above



Edmund said:


> Could she be planning to get more custody of your children?


No she does not want this, she actually took me back court to get less but wanted to keep CS the same which obviously I rejected, all worked out though so I NEVER have to see her and she NEVER has to come to my place and I NEVER have to go to her's so all drop off/Pickup is done at School and it is absolute bliss, wish we had done this from the beginning.



sokillme said:


> Who cares she is an *******. Just enjoy it while it last.


I enjoy every second of it :smile2:


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## Chuck71

MovingForward said:


> Oh I am not getting sucked in, was just curious, turns out the POSOM is having a lot of legal hassle with his X so I am sure she has lost his backing/encouragement, is tired and doesn't have the energy for it or she does not want to look bad to POSOM in case he changes his mind about marriage.......... or a combination of the above


I'd say you're right. She obviously craves to be relevant in your life, by any means.

Numb-nuts is probably realizing.....she cheated on you, took you to the cleaners, she will him too.

He already has an XW and kids.....why he wants a cheater with kids is beyond me.

The good thing....when it blows apart and she crawls back to you (not for love but security but

you already know that) saying her love for you is back......you can laugh at her and send her on her way.

How's you and the gf doing? How about the kiddos? Just reached the two year mark with EQ.

Going really well.....


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## MovingForward

Chuck71 said:


> I'd say you're right. She obviously craves to be relevant in your life, by any means.
> 
> Numb-nuts is probably realizing.....she cheated on you, took you to the cleaners, she will him too.
> 
> He already has an XW and kids.....why he wants a cheater with kids is beyond me.
> 
> The good thing....when it blows apart and she crawls back to you (not for love but security but
> 
> you already know that) saying her love for you is back......you can laugh at her and send her on her way.
> 
> How's you and the gf doing? How about the kiddos? Just reached the two year mark with EQ.
> 
> Going really well.....


I am in the great place where I do not care anymore I feel free and happy.

Girlfriend is good but my Son is still having issues unfortunately. 

I am 18 months with my girlfriend and we have been on 2 vacations so far this year and have 2 more still to come. I only went on vacation with my X 5 times in 12 years LOL.


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## Marc878

Ok, using my extra special sensory perception the problem is your X's boyfriend is suffering from erectal dysfunction.

To solve this issue I'd special order him some of those Stay Hard pills. Just have them sent to his business address.

>


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## MovingForward

Marc878 said:


> Ok, using my extra special sensory perception the problem is your X's boyfriend is suffering from erectal dysfunction.
> 
> To solve this issue I'd special order him some of those Stay Hard pills. Just have them sent to his business address.
> 
> >


And i will send her Miralax since she is so full of **** :smile2:


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## Edmund

She may be being nice to you now, but don’t forget her words to you on the night she decided to dump you in favor of the POSOM— “Don’t be nice to me...” post 141 in your first thread. Cold.

She wants to see her own children less? Really?!!


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## musiclover

Don’t know you’re story but maybe she is just over it. I no longer harbor any ill will against my ex, I finally let it go. There may be no motive she’s just moved on.


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## MovingForward

Edmund said:


> She may be being nice to you now, but don’t forget her words to you on the night she decided to dump you in favor of the POSOM— “Don’t be nice to me...” post 141 in your first thread. Cold.
> 
> She wants to see her own children less? Really?!!


Kind off, it was a weird rule she enforced when we got married that she got the kids after school each day and i picked them up rather than use after school care which i had planned, she was paid extra child support to do this, she then decided she didnt want to do this any longer and wanted me to use after school care but wanted me to pay for afterschool care as well as pay her the inflated rate still.



musiclover said:


> Don’t know you’re story but maybe she is just over it. I no longer harbor any ill will against my ex, I finally let it go. There may be no motive she’s just moved on.


Hopefully, that would be nice


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## Marc878

MovingForward said:


> Kind off, it was a weird rule she enforced when we got married that she got the kids after school each day and i picked them up rather than use after school care which i had planned, she was paid extra child support to do this, she then decided she didnt want to do this any longer and wanted me to use after school care but wanted me to pay for afterschool care as well as pay her the inflated rate still.


[/QUOTE]

Posom's call probably. They aren't his kids so....

Or she feels they are too much of an interference and doesn't want posom to slip away.

No matter what. Posom is in debt up to his eyeballs and people like him don't change. That financial train wreck can only be delayed. The outcome is inevitable.

Stay well away permanently


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## jsmart

Her and OM are probably feeling more secure as a couple, so she doesn't feel the need to be so confrontational. All of her earlier huffing and puffing came from feeling the need to make you the enemy so her OM can be the good guy. As her family starts to accept POS, she no longer has to cast you as the bad guy.

I know you met OM for drinks and thought he was ok, even though you learned they were together longer than you originally thought. Did you ever speak to his ex to find out what was her side of the story?

Personally I think you've been too nice and are definitely wrong about him. He's not OK. He's a dual home wrecking POS as is your ex. Don't forget that. 
It's a shame that your 2 kids had to have their family busted up so they could be "happy."


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## MovingForward

jsmart said:


> Her and OM are probably feeling more secure as a couple, so she doesn't feel the need to be so confrontational. All of her earlier huffing and puffing came from feeling the need to make you the enemy so her OM can be the good guy. As her family starts to accept POS, she no longer has to cast you as the bad guy.
> 
> I know you met OM for drinks and thought he was ok, even though you learned they were together longer than you originally thought. Did you ever speak to his ex to find out what was her side of the story?
> 
> Personally I think you've been too nice and are definitely wrong about him. He's not OK. He's a dual home wrecking POS as is your ex. Don't forget that.
> It's a shame that your 2 kids had to have their family busted up so they could be "happy."


No I never spoke to his X, she actually lives near me but I just want to keep away from all, I don't need any connection with any of them.

yes I met him briefly to try and get stuff smoother for kids but he was a huge back stabber so afterwards the relationship got much much worse and i refuse to speak with him at all, he doesn't even get involved anymore which is great


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## Andy1001

Chuck71 said:


> She is playing Led Zeppelin..... "In through the out Door" Planting a Plan B since Plan A may fail.
> 
> She may now regret, or it may be she realizes the guy is about to bolt. All about a safety net.
> 
> Her ass must fall on a pillow.......somewhere. You were warned of this....


The first song on that album contains the lines,
“So don’t you let her in,or get under your skin”
“It’s only bad luck and trouble from the day that you begin”.


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## StillSearching

I feel ya brother!


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## jsmart

MovingForward said:


> No I never spoke to his X, she actually lives near me but I just want to keep away from all, I don't need any connection with any of them.
> 
> yes I met him briefly to try and get stuff smoother for kids but *he was a huge back stabber so afterwards the relationship got much much worse and i refuse to speak with him at all*, he doesn't even get involved anymore which is great


So you try to take the high road and get screwed over for it. That cements my opinion that you've been too nice and understanding. But now it makes me wonder about your ex being nice. Could she have been told by her lawyer that you could've had much lower child support payments and for her shut up and play nice to prevent you from fighting for lowering them?


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## MovingForward

jsmart said:


> So you try to take the high road and get screwed over for it. That cements my opinion that you've been too nice and understanding. But now it makes me wonder about your ex being nice. Could she have been told by her lawyer that you could've had much lower child support payments and for her shut up and play nice to prevent you from fighting for lowering them?


Nope the Child support is a state calculator we just input our W2's and it gives the amount 'owed'


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## TAMAT

They've been together long enough for OM to start EA's.

Once married they will metastasize into PAs since your xWW is no longer an exciting girl friend.

Assuming OM is not already in a PA or PAs.


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