# Hi there



## kat910 (8 mo ago)

I just joined TAM looking for ways to cope with my lovely husbands weight issues. We've been married for almost 28 years. I'm very concerned.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Welcome to TAM!
Nice change on the avatar!

What specifically are you concerned about? Can you describe your hubby's weight issues, what's been done, what is happening now, etc?


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## kat910 (8 mo ago)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Welcome to TAM!
> Nice change on the avatar!
> 
> What specifically are you concerned about? Can you describe your hubby's weight issues, what's been done, what is happening now, etc?


Hi there,
he is quite overweight and it has gotten worse over the years. I've been unable to do anything, he won't do anything, so nothing has been done. I got him to see a personal trainer about 10 yrs ago which he still goes to but he has not gone beyond a certain point. Nothing is happening now. He is about 200 lbs overweight and counting. I fear for his health. I fear he may be pre diabetic and/or will have a heart attack. He can barely breath.


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Has he been to a physician to have his testosterone, thyroid, and other likely contributing factors to weight build up checked? If he has not I would recommend he see a good age management physician. Diet is also a contributing factor as we all know.

Not being able to breath is scary.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

kat910 said:


> Hi there,
> he is quite overweight and it has gotten worse over the years. I've been unable to do anything, he won't do anything, so nothing has been done. I got him to see a personal trainer about 10 yrs ago which he still goes to but he has not gone beyond a certain point. Nothing is happening now. He is about 200 lbs overweight and counting. I fear for his health. I fear he may be pre diabetic and/or will have a heart attack. He can barely breath.


What has he been doing with his personal trainer for 10 years if he still has trouble breathing?
Who does the shopping and cooking?
Presumably he has been told to loose weight by his doctor?


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## kat910 (8 mo ago)

No Longer Lonely Husband said:


> Has he been to a physician to have his testosterone, thyroid, and other likely contributing factors to weight build up checked? If he has not I would recommend he see a good age management physician. Diet is also a contributing factor as we all know.
> 
> Not being able to breath is scary.


Yes he has, his thyroid is fine, he does have low T but note extremely low, she declined to give him testosterone replacement. She said its age related, he's 70 yrs old. His shortness of breath is I believe due to the deep fat in his thoracic cavity, he otherwise has never had breathing issues.I do the cooking and shopping, I'm normal weight with a healthy diet. He eats what I eat when he's home. I have no idea what he's doing when he's not. I will check our insurance for an age management doctor in our area see if he's open to that. Thank you for that.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

So make good choices for him & incorporate more activity into your lives. 

Buy healthy snacks & prepare well balanced meals. Get the junk & the booze including beer & wine out of the house because they are empty calories. Opt for a walk after meals. Buy bicycles, tennis rackets, golf clubs any equipment that will get you both out & about.


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## kat910 (8 mo ago)

Well he's not a child I can't make all choices for him. I don't keep junk food in our house, he is not a drinker. I prepare healthy food. He has all available tools. He chooses not to use them. Im in need of info from ppl who have a similar situation that have had some success but thank you .


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

kat910 said:


> Well he's not a child I can't make all choices for him. I don't keep junk food in our house, he is not a drinker. I prepare healthy food. He has all available tools. He chooses not to use them. Im in need of info from ppl who have a similar situation that have had some success but thank you .


A hard lesson to learn is you can't change someone. They have to decide to change. Until he makes the choice to change his habits you will just keep spinning your wheels and be frustrated.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

As I see it, he is set in his ways, and set in his weight.

I would get all his family members to come over, say, for a family reunion.

All, should collectively tell him that they love him, and that they want him to live a long and healthy life.

If you have children, more than anyone else, they should be able to change his ways.

If he has grandchildren, have them tell Grandpa they love him, please take care of himself.

Using love, not threats or coercion, put the pressure on him to take better care of himself.

*Can he get his stomach stapled? That seems to have some success.*


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

My exH gained a great deal of weight in his 60’s due to heart issues. Despite my best efforts and those of his cardiologists, he didn’t make it to 70 so I’m impressed your husband did make it to 70 without the usual problems — especially being 200 pounds overweight. There are many threads here started by past posters hoping they can help get their spouse’s weight under control but when their spouse isn’t interested in doing what it takes then it just doesn’t work. My suggestion is continue doing what you’re doing and gently encourage him if the opportunity is there but obviously it’s his choice to make. My exH chose not to and paid the price. Hopefully, it will be different for your husband. I wish both of you the best.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

kat910 said:


> Hi there,
> he is quite overweight and it has gotten worse over the years. I've been unable to do anything, he won't do anything, so nothing has been done. I got him to see a personal trainer about 10 yrs ago which he still goes to but he has not gone beyond a certain point. Nothing is happening now. He is about 200 lbs overweight and counting. I fear for his health. I fear he may be pre diabetic and/or will have a heart attack. He can barely breath.


Ask him if he wants to have his legs amputated due to diabetes. It's real. 200 lbs is WAY too much weight. His knees, ankles, back ,etc. will start causing him a TON of problems.


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