# You're full of sh!t.....and other manners of speaking....



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I have noticed in real life and from reading off the internet. 

Some people have interesting habits of speaking that come across to me as insults.

For example, the "you're full of sh!t" is one way to get someone to repeat a compliment.

I noticed that my fiancé's EA had crude ways of talking or least messaging him....calling him ass-hole and obnoxious. I guess maybe as jokes. (I told my fiance that if he needs this kind of stimulation, he won't be getting it from me.)

Just curious as to what manner of speaking do you prefer and what you might put up with. Also mention your age as I think that could be a factor.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

If cursing each other out would be considered showing each other true love, my wife and I would get couple of the year - lol. 

But seriously I do not appreciate at all being talked to rudely or being talked down to at any time, and when that happens it usually results in me blowing my top and firing off a million insults back at that person! :2gunsfiring_v1:


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## alton (Jul 18, 2012)

Me and the wife (24 and 23 respectively) often call each other names but it's always in a loving/joking way that can be instantly recognised as a joke. 

But as far as rudeness and even sarcasm etc goes neither of us put up with it, even in the middle of a big argument. In other words, keep it respectful.


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## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

H 43 me 36........we don't use such words, we joke but nothing insulting or disrespectful........the worst thing he had told me is "shut up" and I wasn't happy about it. For me the worst thing I would have told him is "you are nasty" its meant to be a joke but thats the farthest we get and oh definitely not in front of others.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I don't like cussing and I don't like being talked to that way. We also have 3 young, impressionable kids. We don't even say things like 'shut up' at our house because it's sounds so disrespectful.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

I don’t like patronising and I don’t like being patronised. But I do like showing my appreciation. So if say I’ve just enjoyed a really good meal with a neighbour I’ll say something like “That’s got to be one of the very worst meal I’ve ever had”. Or with a mate who does gigs “What happened last night then, got a really sore throat or something?”.


But these are my very special people and people who know me really well. I use it sparingly so as not to get to be too much of a pain. It’s working when they laugh! It’s kind of an “in” thing with me.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

My wife (late 30s) and I (early 40s) play like this in antagonist way. We never go to that extreme and would never talk like that in front of anyone else. But if we're alone we can tease each other in this way. Every couple develops their own private language that only they understand. This is part of ours. Other people may choose to verbalize this kind of stuff in public, and that's okay to, as long as that's what they want.

I'm not touching the fact that this behavior was part of an EA with a ten-foot pole.


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## heartsdelight (Apr 2, 2012)

My husband and I definitely tease each other a lot. We're both mid-twenties. We LOVE more deadpan comedy though and pick up things from it. Probably once a day we will say to the other "I hate you" or "I will kill you" completely deadpan. Most commonly when we're having a friendly disagreement about something factual (directions somewhere, the name of an actor, random silly stuff) and then we get the truth and the one proven wrong "pouts" and the other good-naturedy ribs them and the wrong one will deliver an above line. Or if one of us is pouting and the other works to crack a smile to break the tension the one pouting might say something like that, always with a smile. We're both very sensitive to the other's mood so there isn't teasing at an inappropriate moment. And more importantly, we say I love you to each other countless times a day. The compliments and verbal/physical affection far outweigh the teasing, so there's never room for doubt for our true feelings.

We usually are not like that in public. Our friends and families are pretty similar so we all joke like that. Just today I said "I will kill you in your sleep" to my hubby a little louder than I intended to and definitely got a befuddled stare from a lady standing nearby at a park.

It's funny because I know many might think we're nuts or dysfunctional or whatever, but I think couples who constantly cuss at each other even in friendly conversation or call each other names constantly are weird. I also know a lot of girls (usually my age or younger) who will call each other the b word very casually, like "hey b****", and that always weirds me out too. I think it's personal preference.

I also am avoiding the EA part of this lol.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

My experience is that if a person uses rude words to joke around when things are good. .. the words used when things are not get to be really bad and thus hurt a lot.

So I don't go there. Better to not even start.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

NextTimeAround said:


> Just curious as to what manner of speaking do you prefer and what you might put up with. Also mention your age as I think that could be a factor.


We are in mid to late 40's.....Me & my husband "BANTER" alot, tease each other, make Fun of each other .... he especially enjoys poking fun of me when I get a little irritated...so do our kids....they seem to enjoy the crazy things that fly out of my mouth. 

We will use some "not so proper" language at times...but it is ALL in FUN. I have called him an A -hole before ....basically in the manner of...."why the H would you do that?" for instance...

Once I was questioning him, you just read so much about sexless marraiges here...so I asked him what he would do if oneday I just shut it off (as if this is going to happen), no more sex- I was done......he said he would still stay with me , he'd never leave, he wouldn't be happy but he loves me that much. Sweet ...but I still called him an A-hole for that. A sweet A -hole but still an A-hole....cause I wouldn't do it !! 

I can't think of a time where I would talk like this when we are seriously MAD at each other in a fight though, down in the trenches. When we have REAL conflict....a serious contention there...(doesn't happen often thankfully)... we don't swing insults at each other... there are times we say things that STING ...it happens when you are being honest....but not "slap in your face" type stuff....that will only get a another insult swung back at you, neither of us ever do this. It is more to convey how we are truly feeling...not pushing blame but expressing where WE are -in truthfulness. 

I've said to friends "You are so full of sh**" when I felt they were pulling the wool over my eyes, yanking my chain. One of our guy friends does this on purpose. I just have to watch who I am around, not everyone appreciates a little crude bantering...so I am respectful to the type of people I engaging with. Some you can let your hair down a little more with & just be your crazy uninhibited self. 

But yeah, we LIKE a little sacrasm, in no way is our family always "proper" with our words & speech...like a "Leave it to Beaver" household, even though we are Older fashioned & traditional in many many ways... 

For us... it is "the attitude" behind the words , their intended intention... more than the particular style of language used...if this makes any sense.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

My wife and I have our own private " languages."
She sometimes uses sarcasm but not in an insulting way.

As for names , 
Whenever I'm goofing around, she always laughs and tells me :" boy, your'e a real backside......"
She always call me by a pet name.

Whenever she calls me by my real name and title........
Then I know I know she's really pissed.

Were both in our 40's.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Our "insults" rarely involve any kind of name-calling, but every once in a while, when it's clearly to get a response and meant only in fun, it might happen. Usually when it does, it's something one of us says about ourselves, though. I might say, "I want my way because I'm a b* and you're supposed to do what I want!" 

If I do call him something that *could* be construed as insulting, it's surrounded with positive stuff to show that it's not meant as an insult. Like I once called him a "wuss" jokingly, and said, "I love my wuss more than anything else in the world" right afterward.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Most I get from my W is "shut up!", but not ever seriously. More in the "get out of here" kind of thing.

In our time together we've not called each other a single name. Even when I was so pizzed I broke up with her once, I've never called a name. The "b" thing has never crossed my lips with her. Well, not in her presense at least! I've muttered it under my breath alone from time to time. I'm sure she's done the same, but I've never heard her call me a name. It was someplace we agreed never resolved anything, and agreed that we would never go there. We haven't yet.


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