# I am in Shock



## kclark30 (Nov 6, 2021)

I’ve been married to a man who has always been selfish and thoughtless throughout our entire relationship. If I ever needed anything, forget it. I have felt like his servant and his mother for years taking care of him during our marriage. We have no kids. I asked him to change, he said he would, and then nothing would ever change. It’s so frustrating to be in a marriage like mine so after trying so hard for years to make it work, I just knew it was time to walk away. I’ve been honest and open with him about getting divorced and after a couple of weeks he has finally accepted it. He has told me he is not going to fight it. He isn’t going to give me a hard time about separating our assets together. As soon as he told me I cried. He is now being the most selfless person ever and now supporting any decision I want to make. Why couldn’t he of been like that during our marriage? I am in shock and having a hard time processing all of this.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Because he wants to be free from marriage as well and playing nice is the fastest easiest way. It’s not you driving his new nice person persona


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Sometimes people get along better and are better versions of themselves divorced as opposed to being married. 

I’ve known several couples that were terrible together but got along fine when divorced.


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## kclark30 (Nov 6, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> Sometimes people get along better and are better versions of themselves divorced as opposed to being married.
> 
> I’ve known several couples that were terrible together but got along fine when divorced.


Thanks! I think we are going to end up being one of those couples too. He's been in denial and still doesn't want to get divorced, but now I think he realizes it's just not going to work. I did spend 10 years with the man and it wasn't 100% bad so I think after enough time has gone by and we are healed from it, we might be able to be friends with each other.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

kclark30 said:


> I’ve been married to a man who has always been selfish and thoughtless throughout our entire relationship. If I ever needed anything, forget it. I have felt like his servant and his mother for years taking care of him during our marriage. We have no kids. I asked him to change, he said he would, and then nothing would ever change. It’s so frustrating to be in a marriage like mine so after trying so hard for years to make it work, I just knew it was time to walk away. I’ve been honest and open with him about getting divorced and after a couple of weeks he has finally accepted it. He has told me he is not going to fight it. He isn’t going to give me a hard time about separating our assets together. As soon as he told me I cried. He is now being the most selfless person ever and now supporting any decision I want to make. Why couldn’t he of been like that during our marriage? I am in shock and having a hard time processing all of this.


This is standard Walk away wife stuff. You stay until you can't take it. You've talked and talked to him. He never listens or changes then when you go to divorce we wakes up and decides he loves you and most the things you are asking for aren't something big or terrible.

Don't fall for it. He might be able to realize what an ass he's been or maybe he's just being good to try to nice you back. Change in people is possible but not probable. His changes probably won't last. 

If you've gotten to the point of divorce do you still have love for him?


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