# Single people giving marriage advice!



## Mrs.G

Hi all. Hope everyone is having a decent day.
I have an aunt that I keep at an arm's length. She is a wolf in sheep's clothing. In the past, I have trusted her with very personal things, only to have her share it with my mother. 
She is also proudly "dating" one of my father's friends-a married man! Obviously, she's free to make her own choices. However, since I am a wife now, I do not like women who sleep with married men. 
My issue is that this woman always has "advice" to give me about marriage. This would not be a problem except that *she has never been married and she sleeps with attached men.* :lol: What in the world can this hore tell me about marriage?
I already know how to handle it. I simply stay away from her, just like any other toxic family member. It just annoys me because she clearly has no idea what she is talking about. 
Has anyone had bitter single people try to give them marriage advice? How did you handle it?


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## SteppingStones

UGH - not single people, but divorcees who are bitter and jaded and give me their "advice" but not good advice -- it's all bitter, nasty, you'll regret getting married bs.

I just walk away when people start spouting stuff like that.

I am happily married and don't need their negativity.


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## jgayle01

I have a simliar problem, since I have very few friends and NONE of them are married (single or divorced). I'm very cautious with what I share with them. Any conversation I start with them regarding my husband or our marriage is viewed as a request for advice, when most of the time I'm just venting. When I do find myself in a conversation with the occasional bitter person with nothing good to say, I do this (it works all of the time). "Okay but I'm trying to SAVE my marriage. What advice can you give me?" They do one of two things: say something positive (often cliche) or tell me they have no advice. In either case, the conversation usually ends there and on to another subject.


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## greeneyeddolphin

It depends on who the single person is. Technically, I'm considered "single", by legal definitions, but I'm divorced and in a long term relationship. Between the lessons I learned in my failed marriage and the things I learn everyday in my relationship, I think it's ok for me to give *some* advice to a married person, depending on the situation. 

On the other hand, put a single person in front of me who's never been married, and whose only real relationship was their high school love that they broke up with after senior prom...yeah, I'm not gonna take their advice.


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## greenpearl

Everybody likes to think they are smart and they have something great to share. 

What they think is great may not be what we like! 

So it is not the talker's problem, it is the taker's problem. We take what we think it is good for us! For what we think it is garbage, let them enjoy their talk!

I had a woman who doesn't love her husband tells me it is wrong for me to love my husband. I had a woman who doesn't like to cook tells me it is silly for me to cook, I had a woman who likes to hide secret money tells me it is a great idea. What could I do? I couldn't tell her to shut up, I did the same thing you did, avoid this kind of conversation with people like this!


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## major misfit

I don't take diet advice from someone who's never had a weight problem. I don't take advice on quitting smoking from someone who's never smoked. I don't take child rearing advice from someone who's never had children, or at least had professional training. And I sure as heck don't take marriage advice from someone who's never shared their life with someone else (married or not).


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## WadeWilson

Well all I can say is, you can be so far into something that you can't see all sides... And we need perspective from an outside source... Its kinda like if you sit inside the house and never go outside, never look out the window... How do you know when to tend to the lawn? But do a person need to be in a house to tell you... Hey mow your lawn... Life is full of lessons coming from very unlikely teachers... If you say she's dating only married men maybe she do know a side of marriage most wives don't know or is unwilling to find out... We have to sometimes open our ears... We all have insight on many things... Even never doing, because we sometimes see it from the outside... I've heard wisdom through many channels, rich about being poor, married about being single, childless about being an parent, drop out about being educated, and all vice versa and then some... Now the worst is when they do it everyday and they have nothing but poor advice...


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## lime

WadeWilson said:


> Life is full of lessons coming from very unlikely teachers...


SO TRUE!

Despite bad personal decisions or inexperience, I think people are very capable of giving valuable advice. Ask a six-year-old about what makes a happy marriage, and they'll probably say something like "love each other and be nice." Are you going to discount that completely just because that kid hasn't been married yet? That's some pretty good advice!

Personal choices are of a similar nature; for example, I still offer advice on parenting, even though I've never had a child before. But at one point in my life (very recently, in fact) I _was_ the child and can speak from that experience. I also have training in childhood education and counseling (no degrees or certificates; just experience). If people think my suggestions are wrong simply because I haven't raised my own children, that's their right, but they could be missing out on some of the more useful things I say.

So I think it's best to listen with an open mind, and judge the advice on its own merit, rather than judging the person offering the advice.

But...If you don't like hanging around that crazy woman because she's a royal pain, then I say ignore her


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