# Nervous about seeing him today



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

He is supposed to be coming over today to move some of his stuff out and I would have to say being the person that doesn't want this I am a little nerve racked about having to deal with him today.
All these emotions are definately a roller coaster that I just want to get off of. 
I know he went and saw the OW this weekend and he probably finally sealed the deal with her (started as a EA on World of Warcraft while I've been in a state of depression that I am now not denying and getting help for) I don't know if I can handle the look on his face and what happiness the other person brings to him. I told myself he already loves her she's perfect for him, but I still want and miss him. SHould I tell him to send his mom over to get his stuff? I just don't know if I strong enough to see him. What to do? Why do I still want him if he already has someone else?


----------



## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, honey. Do you have to be there? Is there someone you can delegate to make sure he doesn't take what isn't his?

This is asking a lot of you at this point. Please. Call a friend. Call a neighbor. You need someone by your side.


----------



## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

You need to leave before he comes. Trust me on this. Having witnessed my wife pack twice, I would never ever want to experience it. Don't do this to yourself. Let him come and get his stuff without you being there.

Don't make excuses. You don't have to be there.


----------



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

The only issue is the vehicle that I have is in the shop. So all we have is the truck that he will need to move his stuff since he won't be able to use his motorcycle. I thought about leaving but I really don't have anywhere to go.


----------



## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Starbucks? 

I wouldn't trust him alone, but if you don't want to be there, dont' be there. Go sit in a parking lot and listen to the radio.


----------



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

I left yesterday when he originally was supposed to come by but he no showed because he was too busy riding 5 hours back from seeing the OW. I stayed away for 4 hours and I can't believe I'm still letting him run the show.


----------



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

WEll I did strip everything off the walls and put some of his stuff away. I've packed up most of my stuff since I will be moving at the end of July and cleaned everything up so I'm sure he will be surprised and probably not move too much since he will be taking the house over then.


----------



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

I texted him to let him know that he can come get his clothes and move his stuff later this week when we have two vehicles at his disposal. He hasn't replied. Should I see if he replies and then leave or should I just wait and see if he shows up?


----------



## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

If he doesn't come today, I'd bag it all up and take it to Goodwill.

Okay, plan B, bag it all up and leave it in the driveway.

Don't let him define your life.


----------



## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Does he still have keys? If not, lock the door, turn off the lights and ignore him showing up.


----------



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

I would love to bag up his sh*t and donate it! We are still trying to figure out what is going on with the house and our finances. Our house is upside down and will be for quite some time. So I will probably have to deal with him for years to come anyways. So yes he still has a key. But I would love to lock the door on his unfaithful A** !


----------



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

Can I ever tell him that I hate him for doing this to us?????? Iso want to say that to him.


----------



## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Lostwouthim said:


> Can I ever tell him that I hate him for doing this to us?????? Iso want to say that to him.


Do you honestly think he will care?


----------



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

Probably not, your right how do you get that idea to stay in your head though? And I also think me saying that even if he doesn't care may make me feel better : ).


----------



## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Lostwouthim said:


> Probably not, your right how do you get that idea to stay in your head though? And I also think me saying that even if he doesn't care may make me feel better : ).


From my experience, it doesn't. All it does is fan there fire.


----------



## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

Okay, I just read your story in the other thread. He left you for an EA with a WoW player, we have more in common than I realized.

My stbxw was having EA (she will never admit it) with online gamers as well.

You need to focus on yourself, not on him. Go read your first few posts in your original thread. HE LEFT YOU. Remember?

That being said, he doesn't care what you think at this current time and probably will not care for a long time to come.

How you feel, how you progress and how you grow are completely different than anything he will be going through. So to think he could comprehend anything you express to him from a self learning / growth stand point is pointless.

I feel for you, I really do. I was in your shoes 3-4 months ago.

Stbxw was planning a 20 hour drive to meet a group of players she played with, I wasn't allowed to go.

Why wasn't I allowed to go?? Because THEY (along with her ) didn't want me to. 

Why didn't they want me to go?? Because I was onto her EA and how close she was getting with these douche bags.

She left for 4 days originally, asked to come back .. I let her (this is all pre TAM and self awareness) and after 3 weeks I flipped the hell out and kicked her out. In this 3 weeks she was setting up this 20 hour drive across the border.

You have a lot of work ahead of you my dear and it has nothing to do with expressing yourself to him.

You have to express yourself, to yourself. Figure out who you are, you clearly said you have lost your identity, it will not be found in the stupid responses and facial scrunching of your ex husband when you express yourself.


----------



## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

Apparently I pissed him off after removing any sign of life from the walls! Makes me laugh!


----------



## hunter411 (Jun 4, 2012)

Lostwouthim said:


> Apparently I pissed him off after removing any sign of life from the walls! Makes me laugh!


Good for you lost. I am doing the same, she has listed items in the divorce to pick up from the house in another week. One of the items is a generic listing of "personal items". Everything else remains at the house until the D is final. As far as Im concerned, all of the photos, wall furnishings, and knick knacks, are going into her pile to pick up. I dont want it. She can sort through the hundreds of vaction and wedding photos and decide what she wants. I dont need those memories, Im going to make new ones. I already have started replacing things with what I like because bare walls and emptiness is depressing. Stay strong, you are getting better!


----------

