# Lost my mojo



## SirSchlongAlot (Apr 14, 2021)

Im 45 and in my second marriage of 10yrs. My wife is amazing and we laugh together, enjoy the same things and gave a great time. 

I love her deeply but we don't have sex because I don't feel sexy at all. 

Last year a lady showed interest in me and it turned me on. Nothing happened but she way clear what she wanted. I refused.. My point is I know now I'm not completely dead in the horny department but why can't I get horny for my wife. She touched me a few months ago and I nearly got a semi. 

I've not got any idea about what to do.


----------



## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Sometimes what is done is more important than who is doing it, sexually speaking. Maybe review that encounter and see if there was anything different that the woman did, that your wife doesn't do. Then you can discuss it with your wife and see if that will work.


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

A few months ago? How is your wife taking it? Or not taking it, for that matter...


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

SirSchlongAlot said:


> Im 45 and in my second marriage of 10yrs. My wife is amazing and we laugh together, enjoy the same things and gave a great time.
> 
> I love her deeply but we don't have sex because I don't feel sexy at all.
> 
> ...


Do either of you have any health issues?

If you are both in good shape, there could be a psychological problem you are experiencing.

How is she responding to your coldness?


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Is it simply that you're not attracted to your wife? Were you attracted to her earlier in the relationship? If you were, then what's changed? If she's put on significant weight or wildly changed her look, if you were turned off by witnessing her give birth, if you or she have new health problems, have suffered any sort of emotional/physical trauma, if your porn use has ramped up significantly or you're now consuming porn related to fetishes she's not into, etc., those all might impact your attraction. So, what's changed since you did desire her? 

If you were never wildly attracted to her, then it may simply be that your higher testosterone levels as a younger man were enough to sort of overcome not being very attracted to her in the first place. You might have fallen in love with her personality in spite of not being highly sexually attracted to her, and either didn't really notice or thought it wouldn't be a problem because you were high drive enough that it didn't stop you from wanting sex with her even if she wasn't really "your type". And as you've aged, you no longer have a young guy's natural horniness to overcome that basic lack of attraction. If that's what's happened, then this was always going to eventually be a problem. 

Or, it could simply be that you're the sort of person who gets bored with a partner after a certain amount of time has passed. Some people are just like that. Is this your longest relationship so far? Have you had problems with boredom or 'lack of attraction' with partners in the past that only manifested itself after a few months/years?


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Do you watch porn? If so stop completely. Many men loose sexual attraction for their partners if they watch a lot of porn. This can make it very hard to get turned on by a normal real life woman. 
Does your wife say anything about your lack of interest in her?


----------



## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Wondering if the issue could be any squishy-ness on your wife’s end?


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> Wondering if the issue could be any squishy-ness on your wife’s end?


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Again with the squishy!!!😳


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

All these assumptions; op, can you share responses to the health, weight, age questions?


----------



## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I smell a rat, given the name and the avatar and the rather bizarre story...


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Rowan said:


> Is it simply that you're not attracted to your wife? Were you attracted to her earlier in the relationship? If you were, then what's changed? If she's put on significant weight or wildly changed her look, if you were turned off by witnessing her give birth, if you or she have new health problems, have suffered any sort of emotional/physical trauma, if your porn use has ramped up significantly or you're now consuming porn related to fetishes she's not into, etc., those all might impact your attraction. So, what's changed since you did desire her?
> 
> If you were never wildly attracted to her, then it may simply be that your higher testosterone levels as a younger man were enough to sort of overcome not being very attracted to her in the first place. You might have fallen in love with her personality in spite of not being highly sexually attracted to her, and either didn't really notice or thought it wouldn't be a problem because you were high drive enough that it didn't stop you from wanting sex with her even if she wasn't really "your type". And as you've aged, you no longer have a young guy's natural horniness to overcome that basic lack of attraction. If that's what's happened, then this was always going to eventually be a problem.
> 
> Or, it could simply be that you're the sort of person who gets bored with a partner after a certain amount of time has passed. Some people are just like that. Is this your longest relationship so far? Have you had problems with boredom or 'lack of attraction' with partners in the past that only manifested itself after a few months/years?


Wow!

I checked my relationship encyclopedia.

You have left nothing out, Miss Rowan!


----------



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

SirSchlongAlot said:


> Im 45 and in my second marriage of 10yrs. My wife is amazing and we laugh together, enjoy the same things and gave a great time.
> 
> I love her deeply but we don't have sex because I don't feel sexy at all.
> 
> ...


So did you all have frequent sex before? I ask as my wife has lost interest and in turn I have lost interest in sex with her. I used to try to initiate alot but not now.

So maybe her denial of you has lead you to lose interest in her?


----------

