# Lost in life



## RIgirl (Mar 7, 2010)

I really need advice...so my husband and I have been married for almost 2 years. When we were dating things were wonderful! The day after we got married it was like my husband flipped a switch and things were bad immediatley. He became very lazy and never wanted to help around the house, he started spending all of his time on the computer or at the gym, there is never any compromising with him, its either his way or no way. We refuses to be intimate with me, no hugging, kissing, or sex ever. He doesn't even sleep in the bedroom with me. I have also caught him trying to cheat on me. He wont talk with me or communicate in any other fashion. I have asked him for a divorce but he says he wont give me one, he claims to still care about me, yet nothing ever changes. Its becoming next to impossible to stick around because I have no family or friends where we live. I cant just walk out because we have a young daughter. We live in New England but if I left I'd want to take her to Texas where all my family is but a judge would have to ok that. He wont give me a divorce so I dont know what to do. Its such an unhealthy situation because there is always so much fighting no matter how hard I try to avoid it. I just dont know what to do....


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## fairy godmother (Jun 10, 2010)

I would find a good lawyer and then find a friend that will let you and your daughter stay with her until the divorce is finalized. Hopefully by that point you can then move to Texas. I would defiantly as for sole custody since if you have joint custody it's hard to manage to move out of state without a judge's approval,etc. I completely agree that this is a very unhealthy relationship. You deserve better. Based on your post he has no redeeming qualities and hasn't done anything to convince you that he loves you. IMHO what a douche! The best of luck to you~


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## wilted_flower (Jul 25, 2010)

I agree with fairy godmother. I think you are in a terrible situation. Take care of yourself and be strong. You deserve better, and your daughter deserves a better example of what marriage looks like. 

Please do what's best for you and your daughter... I'm sure your husband is a good guy, but you deserve a better partner in life!! 

I would recommend talking to a lawyer to see what your options are. 

And if leaving sounds too scary, maybe you could get some counseling? You could tell your husband that things need to change and if he won't go to counseling with you then it's over. At least you'll know in your heart that you're making an effort... if that's something that haunts you. Then, when you leave, you'll know you did try to work things out.


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## holdingtwenty (Jul 28, 2010)

Sounds like you need to go somewhere else-- friends house or even to rent a place somewhere (I don't know if you can afford that). You have had it with him and you are clear about your goals in that you need a divorce. It does not sound like he is making any effort to save the marriage. Get some counseling for yourself and stay strong. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.


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