# Falling for a female colleague



## Bobbins (Feb 7, 2015)

I am a married man with a gorgeous 1 year old daughter. I have been with my wife for over 10 years, two of those married, and to date I have never been unfaithful.

However while my wife was pregnant, I met a woman who had recently joined my company. She came up and introduced herself and we immediately seemed to click. We spoke about our respective partners and lives and got on really well. We are both the same age as well (currently 35). Over the coming months I saw her increasingly around the office and at work social occasions. Although we would only talk for a short while it became clearer that we shared a lot in common, really made each other laugh and that there was clear chemistry. We began to instant message each other a lot and try to find excuses to contact each other. Eventually the instant message exchanges turned into sharing jokes, links to our favourite music and just generally chatting about each others lives. As time has gone on we speak about our partners and my child less and less with each other and focus on just having a laugh. We found out we both have a passion for running and have started running at lunchtimes together, albeit with a group of people. She has always tried to get me out for after work drinks but unfortunately I was unable to do so on a number of occasions due to family commitments. However last week we went out with a group from work one evening - we got on as well as ever and joked and flirted. We ended up moving onto a nightclub, with the group, but she seemed to be more engrossed in affectionate conversation with another male colleague and mutual friend, however this colleague is gay. We eventually left alone together at the end as we live in a similar direction. We got a kebab together and we sat down and had a conversation in which she told me that she was having difficulties with her partner (of 7 years), that they wanted different things and over the last few months she just decided that she wants to be with someone who loves her. I wanted to confess my feelings for her but I just couldn't as I just wasn't sure if I had misread the situation? I just told her that sometimes in life we needed to make brave choices and she needs to do what makes her happy. 

Since that night I can't stop thinking about this woman - unable to eat and sleep. I feel like a lovesick teenager again. I just want to be with her but the consequences are so dire - I would be the ultimate scumbag if I left my wife for someone else, wouldn't I? What would this do to my daughter? I never thought I would just be a weekend dad? Does she even feel the same?

An added complication is that I moved overseas to my wife's home country 5 years ago so that she could be with her family and fiends. As such I don't have any close family and very few friends to confide in / support me. Also I moved overseas and got married with a great deal of reluctance. With the best intention the guilt of leaving my now-wife single and childless in her mid-30s was something I couldn't do to her. I know I should have been braver but i didn't make the call i should have. And if i didn't move overseas i wouldn't have met my female colleague. 

Any help or advice would be most welcome as i am in deep despair.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You have posted this in two different forums. It's against forum rules to double post threads. Since the other one has replies, please delete this thread.

Click on the "quote" button in your post above and then click on delete. that will delete the thread.


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