# Sex problems with my Wife



## lfortender (Sep 18, 2012)

I dont Know what to do anymore, my Wife doesnt satisfies in bed. I try to talk and she always says the problem is in my mind, is not what it looks like! We almost dont have sex anymore, sometimes once a week, sometimes three times a month! I'm starting to feel atraction by other girls, of course i didnt tell her that! The main problem is because she never start the sex, i always start, i always go after her, she doesnt care if we get a week or more without sex, she doesnt give importance to sex, she doesnt do blowjob, doesnt do anal (i'd love to get sucked and have anal with her), she doesnt look for Anything new, doesnt read sex books to develop new techniques, she doesnt use sex toys, she doesnt try new positions, and more! I think she pretends to like sex but she doesnt! I dont Know what to do anymore, i think i'll divorce, i think i'll start to look for other women who likes sex, who will fill me! What you think i could do friends? Tell me, am i crazy? Am i a sex addict?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I take it English is not your first language?

No, you're not crazy and you're not a sex addict. What you are are is called "selfish" and luckily that is something that can be changed!

You're wife doesn't have sex with you as often as you like? How often would you like to have sex with her, realistically?

You're wife doesn't initiate sex with you and you always have to start. I don't know how old you are, but again this is kind of normal considering some ages and some cultures. Since English isn't your first language is it safe to assume that for your culture this may be normal? If you want her to initiate sex more often, have you asked her? What does she say?

She doesn't give you blow jobs and doesn't allow anal. Well, tell me all about the fabulous orgasms you give her? And tell me exactly how you know for certain that she IS having orgasms? Next tell me about the conversations you've have with her regarding blow jobs and why she doesn't do it. Does she enjoy you going down on her? How often do you do that if she does enjoy it? Have you ever taken a pole up your ass? Until you have, demanding that your wife do the same is off the table.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

I agree with anon. Your post is all about you, what you want and what she should be doing for you. .What exactly do you do for her? Remember that even women who like sex only like it with an unselfish lover.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> I take it English is not your first language?
> 
> No, you're not crazy and you're not a sex addict. What you are are is called "selfish" and luckily that is something that can be changed!
> 
> ...


:iagree:

I see me, me, me thus far. If there is a sexual issue and you are having sex once a week it might just mean that your W is not high demand in that area, it could be that she finds sex difficult, she might NOT enjoy what you do and what you try. The first stage is a quite relaxed sit down and talk about what she want, find out if its good or not for her. If she really happy with what happens between you and she is enjoying the sex then you have a base to work from if not you need BOTH to get back to basiics and learn about each other and what flips the switches. Sex is not one sided. Oh by the way, not every woman wants something an inch plus in diameter pushed in their anus. Be considerate, encouraging and tender.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

Maybe she knows you're having a "flirt" with a woman at work....


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## lfortender (Sep 18, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> I take it English is not your first language?
> 
> No, you're not crazy and you're not a sex addict. What you are are is called "selfish" and luckily that is something that can be changed!
> 
> ...



I'm not a selfish but very frustrated with my life, that's all! Yes, english is my second, what's the problem? I've learned english all by myself. As i told, talk to her doesn't change at all. I'm her first man, she was virgin before me. And yes, i give her orgasms, we learned together, yes i do a lots of foreplays, i do all she enjoys. SHE is the selfish one!


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## lfortender (Sep 18, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> Maybe she knows you're having a "flirt" with a woman at work....


Not a chance!


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## lfortender (Sep 18, 2012)

lifeistooshort said:


> I agree with anon. Your post is all about you, what you want and what she should be doing for you. .What exactly do you do for her? Remember that even women who like sex only like it with an unselfish lover.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Of course is about me, other way she'd start her own thread. I'm not a selfish, i have totally sure. I have rights to ask sexual pleasure too, don't you think?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

lfortender said:


> I'm not a selfish but very frustrated with my life, that's all! Yes, english is my second, what's the problem? I've learned english all by myself. As i told, talk to her doesn't change at all. I'm her first man, she was virgin before me. And yes, i give her orgasms, we learned together, yes i do a lots of foreplays, i do all she enjoys. SHE is the selfish one!


Okay, she is the selfish one. Then answer my questions so I have a better understanding. 


Anon Pink said:


> How often would you like to have sex with her, realistically?
> 
> You're wife doesn't initiate sex with you and you always have to start. I don't know how old you are, but again this is kind of normal considering some ages and some cultures. Since English isn't your first language is it safe to assume that for your culture this may be normal? If you want her to initiate sex more often, have you asked her? What does she say?
> 
> ...



I pointed out your English as a second language only to illuminate that your word choices might not be accurately reflective of your thoughts..merely due to the language barrier, not as an insult.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I think there may be a cultural component involved, but without the OP telling us more about their location and upbringing, it's impossible to factor in.

All I can get from this is that the OP isn't satisfied with his sex life, and his wife dismisses his concerns when he tries to discuss it. That does sound selfish - on her part. But, it may be the classic LD-HD blame shifting situation.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Married but Happy said:


> I think there may be a cultural component involved, but without the OP telling us more about their location and upbringing, it's impossible to factor in.
> 
> All I can get from this is that the OP isn't satisfied with his sex life, and his wife dismisses his concerns when he tries to discuss it. That does sound selfish - on her part. But, it may be the classic LD-HD blame shifting situation.


True, but it could also be a cultural prohibition about a woman's sexuality. Nothing personal but men tend to really discount the effect a traditional, virginal upbringing has on a woman's sexuality and her ability to grow comfortable in embracing her sexual self. When you grow up be shamed and guilted into not touching yourself nor allowing another to touch, when you are taught over and over that being good means being virtuous, you don't just leave that at the door once married. It takes YEARS to undo the shame such an upbringing causes! 

It is easier for men to undo this, though they struggle too, because their sexuality begins and ends with VERY obvious signs and signals, where as a woman's sexuality is very subtle with little to no overt signs from which to base an understanding. Men also have the testosterone surge in pubescence which hastens their understanding that these thoughts and feeling are perfectly normal and wonderfully healthy.


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## herblackwings (May 16, 2013)

If you don't have kids I'd save yourself the time and work for a new partner who is already on the same page as you sexually. You could spend the next ten years and loads of work on your wife and still not get your needs met. Or start new and take what you learned in this marriage in seeking out a new lady. There are many HD sexually adventurous women out there. The LD non adventurous types have signs during the dating phase that you should now be able to key off of. And if you so have kids, well you now need to sacrifice your needs for theirs and start working hard on meeting her needs and hope that in time she changes. Good luck with that - my situation is that later and I can tell you it's not easy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lfortender (Sep 18, 2012)

We had an amazing sex last night guys, no anal no oral but it was nice. Maybe i was missing her, just that. But yet i have my fantasies.


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