# My Conundrum--international fears



## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/35699-iphone-fb-destroyed-my-marriage.html How do you do signatures? I tried to edit profile didn't see where I could add this there

Now I'm facing the decision to file for divorce or confront her first and see where what we do because we are dancing around the subject as it is without her knowing I know about the cheating. Says she wants to "save the marriage" but the same day telling me I should move out of the bedroom nice! as if! my fear is that she being from South America could be a flight risk its a could be I don't know what she's capable of, I didn't think she was capable of cheating and such pathological lying so. As I read filing for the Divorce is the only way to prevent her by filing temporary restraining orders. I've taken the step as well as putting daughter on the child passport alert program and she doesn't currently have a valid one. I don't know if that is enough though. 
but there's also a problem where she could get my US born daughter 
dual citizenship with her home country. And get her a foreign passport without my permission! UGG I hate the world! --sorry
A problem is she is planning a trip next year and wants to take my daughter--NO WAY! and she has a lot of family there I don't know them all or where they live but the country she is from is haugh convention. It's a fear maybe groundless might not be though.
There is on the other hand is the desire to confront her on the cheating and what we can decide for the child I wouldn't rule out living as roommates for the sake of our daughter I know it's not a great idea but neither is divorcing. If I file first that might go out the window and any chance of a calm discussion is gone and I'll have to deal with the witch version of her. I want to meet with an attorney and have all the papers ready to file but I also want to confront her on this too and see what she wants. If Divorce 
then I know what I want well if I could get full custody I would but I doubt it. I want joint but primary residence or primary conservatorship. with her and I trading weeks less than ideal and part of what stops me because I've been injured she cheated and now I have to give up time with my kid!!! it's beyond madness. Just want to smash everything when I think of how injust it all is.
I'm stuck because If I let her know what I know I might lose an advantage in filing but filing has it's own wonderfull problems.
Does anyone know if there's any other way to prevent her taking the child out of the country?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

lawyer


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You must see a lawyer ASAP.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> You must see a lawyer ASAP.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Where in South America?


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

My understanding is that there is a "no fly" list which is managed by the US state department. info You might look into and place your child on this list.

Also, depending on the answer to my last question (what country in South America) you should check and see in that country signed the Hague Act. Essentially, this determines if they honor extradition treaties. In the event that your W attempts to abduct your daughter, this is very important.

Furthermore, if they do honor extradition... if Your W attempts to take your daughter out of the country, not only will you be able to get her back quickly. You will likely get full custody upon her return.

I dont know if your aware of this, but it is EXTREMELY difficult for her to get your daughter out of the county even without having put her on the restricted passport list you mentioned and assuming you follow through with putting her on the "no fly" list.... notorized documentation is required with your express permission.


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

Thanks sent a pm as to country to limit details. Cheating causes paranoia. Thanks for the no fly info I will check that out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_
I did a search the no fly list is for suspected terrorists. Kids are not currently on it :^( what the state dept recommends is what I did
the child passport alert program and good to know passport applications now require both parents sigs. Yea! But I'm stil not resting easy.
I would like other safeguards in place so that if she was trying to take my daughter out of the country she would be stopped.


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

Another thing is I think she would agree to everything move out with dad, split time with daughter, split expenses for daughter no support $ either way.
Except for the travel like she had a "right" to take our daughter to her country well sorry no! too great a risk for me, deal breaker but if I talk to her first we could agree on the terms
and divorce a lot cheaper but if I file first... ahh to file or not to file?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blindasabat (Nov 29, 2011)

Does anyone know another way to prevent a wife from flying international with child?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

You might want to contact the consulate of your wife's country of origin to obtain information about what their policies are with regards to parental kidnapping.


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