# Still bored and getting worried now ;(



## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Married for 15 years together for 20 no infidelity I've always had the higher sex drive, but was never not fulfilled. We were always a 2-3 times a week couple for the last 10 years or so.

All of a sudden almost like a light switch I find myself bored. It started a couple of months ago where I found myself feeling "Done this, been here, I know where this is going" it was more of a come and go feeling and we have had some good sex since then, but the frequency is way down and my imagination or should I say the list of things I want to do is depleted the tank is empty. Now those feelings are more commonplace than come and go and I don't like it......I always wondered if this day would come it sucks.

This morning my wife said "Still love me.....and laughed" and I said "Yeah...beautiful" as we were getting the kids ready for school. She replied "You haven't been groping me, calling me ridiculous names, slapping my butt, sooo I had to ask...lol"

"I know....I love you" I replied as she went out the door. I know she feels it!! The ON button has always been pressed with me I've always wanted sex and was the endless cheesy flirty guy. Always calling her names, slapping the booty, buying toys, telling all the things I want to do to her etc etc. and now it's like I don't feel that.

All the posts I've read over the years I never thought I would be the one bored and not really interested in sex, but here I am.

Right now once a week or 10 days and I would be fine!! How crazy is that!! The funny thing is when I read posts about people having sex every other day I'm like "What...." even though we were like that for years I can't imagine it now. 

Everything feels so repititious as bad as that sounds. Any ideas for people going through this that have been togehter 10-20 years? I talked to some older guys at work and they said that's pretty much how it is "About once every two weeks for me man" another guy said "Shoot once a month unless it's my birthday".


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

All I can think to say is... how would you describe the "*emotional connection*" with your wife ? 

For me & my husband...it is THAT that drives us. His libido is not the highest, mine has went done .... when we get upstairs, I can't say either one of us is "feeling it" -but yet we still want to be with each other , so we ignite it ....We do near the same thing all the time too, it just never gets boring somehow. If that emotional spark was taken from us, I know it would all fall apart. 

Are you stressed at work? (causing your testosterone to take a dive)? Do you feel more aches & pains? When our Test is higher, we feel like we are walking on air and always horny, flirty & antsy for it. 

I bet you are around the age... a Mid Life Crisis setting in?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Sex must change as we age. I'm with SA as you get older the emotional connection becomes more important than the groping, can't get enough of you type sex.

The cool thing is this time in your life can bring forth the best sex ever if you can really focus on digging deep into what you want/need out of your life and your relationship.

A mid life crisis doesn't have to be a crisis at all it can be just a transition or an inspiration to do something new and different.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

Hi OhGeesh ~

How old are you?

Are you bored with just your sex life, or your life in general?

Have you explored trying to have a more emotive connection with your wife during sex, e.g., maybe some tantra techniques?

What are you guys doing to connect outside the bedroom? Sex doesn't have to get stale as we age - we get to explore it together in different ways. A good book about this: 

Amazon.com: Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships (9780393334272): David Schnarch: Books

And, finally, any other physical symptoms? Fatigue, depression, etc. It's kind of interesting that as men age, their testosterone levels start to decline - usually a slow and steady decline (sometimes with a bit of a bigger dip between 45 - 50), but that loss can be noticeable in some men over a shorter period of time and they can definitely lose some of their zest.

Best wishes.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Enchantment said:


> Hi OhGeesh ~
> 
> How old are you?
> 
> ...


That's probably the biggest question mark I don't do well with the aging process.......... I'm very grateful for my life, job, family, health, if that makes sense.....and I"m 38!!

It's defintely me not her!! We still talk all the time txt, call, joke, date night, nothing has really changed it's just at the end of the night instead of being freaky..... I find myself just wanting to go to sleep. 

Today we txted 9 times and talked to each other 3....our communication is as solid as ever it seems.

We'll see maybe it's a phase......just a long one.....:smthumbup:


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## lovinmyhubby223 (Jan 31, 2012)

I will agree with the physical suggestion. See a doctor and get your testosterone checked. See if there’s something physically happening to cause this.
My other issue would be this; if your wife doesn’t turn you on is there anything that does? Do you find yourself looking at other women and fantasizing or are you just bored with all of it. If you find it’s just the mundane act with your wife, try something new, a toy, a position, a place in the house you’ve never done it before. Sometimes we just need to break out of the same ol’ routine.
Best of luck!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Besides getting your testosterone levels checked, do some reading on DHEA. It might help. I've known a few guys who have gotten back to their 'old self' after taking it.


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