# Religious differences and divorce filing



## keepittogether (Jun 8, 2018)

I am getting ready to file next week. We have been married 20 years with four children living in the house ages 16 and under. We both married into a Christian faith. We have been going to church on a regular basis for 20 years up until about 2015 when I became very unhappy and started soul searching. I wound up leaving the church and our one son who is on the spectrum and could never sit through services has left with me (this is partly due to the advice of his therapist who says we should not force him because of his severe anxiety issues mixed in with is ASD).
I will officially be converting to a non-Christian faith (I will not mention it, please do not ask, no hate) and my son who is on the spectrum has come with me and absolutely loves it. I cannot explain it, but feels very comfortable and non-anxious. My soon to be ex is okay with this. My question is this (meaning HIM going because "at least he is learning about God) - I have at least three children of the age that I feel if they want to come with me, they should be allowed and feel free. My H absolutely wants them to stay in his religion. This would require me running them to religious ed for the next few years.

Has anyone had religious differences in their divorce and how did you handle it? In my state you have to file for *sole custody* to be able to make decision regarding their religious welfare and I think this would make the divorce VERY messy especially because we have to share our house for another few years.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

It is so nice when your religious views trumps all other religious views, and therefore, you should be rewarded for it. NOT.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Must admit that as a Christian I would not want my kids going to a non Christian place of worship. That's why I would never marry a man who wasn't a strong Christian. In your case they have been going to church for so many years(16 years for one of them), they probably have friends and are used to it there so why change that now? 

Once they are adults they can decide for themselves, but I say let them carry on going with their dad. You are the one who has left your faith, not him and not them.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

If the two of you are going to be sharing your house for several years after you divorce, why can't he take the other three to religious ed? How old are they (a lot depends on that) and what are their thoughts regarding the church they attend? Do they want to stay there with him or go with you and your son?


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## Ab10lah (Jul 1, 2018)

Your kids are actually old enough to at least have a preference. Why not go by what they want and not what you think is better?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

During divorce, the status quo is usually what is ordered. Since your children have been raised Christian thus far with your consent, it's going to be very hard for you to push this issue in court. 

My take on it is that you will get through this with less of a problem if you don't make a big deal out of the religious choice and let things work out over time.

You and your husband fighting over this will cause your children more harm than if they are exposed to both religions.

Cannot their father take them to church and religious education? Then you take them sometimes to whatever religion your are now practicing.


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## Randy Lafever (Jul 8, 2018)

At their age "church" is purely a social event. I suppose it makes sense to keep them with the friends they are accustomed to.


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## GAgirl912 (Dec 22, 2017)

I would let the kids continue in the Christian faith... you’re the one that chose to step out.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

You dont get to dictate what your kids believe.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*To help me try to get a better handle on things, what was your "Christian faith" that you recently left behind, and what is your state of residence?*


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## jlcrome (Nov 5, 2017)

Best bet is you and your husband have a mutual agreement that is 100% percent ok with you and 100% ok with him. Please talk it out negotiate at all cost then when you can mutual agree have it written up as so in the divorce decree. Yes these things are in there just dont go all out there and have it 100 percent your way even though you could. 
Mutually agree is the best bet and have it written as so.


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## jlcrome (Nov 5, 2017)

Believe me you make the job of lawyers and the judges jobs a hell of a lot easier if both of y'all can come to a resolution. If not you may looking at a contested divorce and the judge can have a final say. Then be ready to fork up more money in lawyer fees and court cost.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

jlcrome said:


> *Believe me you make the job of lawyers and the judges jobs a hell of a lot easier if both of y'all can come to a resolution. If not you may looking at a contested divorce and the judge can have a final say. Then be ready to fork up more money in lawyer fees and court costs..*


*Exponentially!*


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

The real question is what is best for your kids. When I got divorced my wife decided to become spiritual (i.e. no longer religious or attend services), but I still insisted as part of our divorce negotiation that the kids were raised the same way religiously that they were accustomed to. Life is complicated and having kids grow up with multiple religions usually ends up with them growing up and being non-religious. It's better to choose one and have them respect other viewpoints then let them go back and forth, at least while they are young.


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## irish925 (May 3, 2018)

Ok, guess i will be that dude...

So, why are you filing for divorce? And you totally believe the therapist? Just asking...


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