# how to be attractive for your husband



## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

How to Be Attractive in a Relationship

Sometimes in wandering thru the thousands of internet pages, you find one that you stop and read that has a lot of truth on it. And despite the title, i think it also works for how husbands can be attractive to their wives too.

1) being atractive is not about fashion or sex appeal
2) your husbands desire....is to be attractive to you
3) don't wait for him to shape up
4) be your husband's fan and cheerleader


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Talker67 said:


> How to Be Attractive in a Relationship
> 
> Sometimes in wandering thru the thousands of internet pages, you find one that you stop and read that has a lot of truth on it. And despite the title, i think it also works for how husbands can be attractive to their wives too.
> 
> ...


A husband who "avoids or shuts down" on his wife when he feels uncomfortable is not one I personally would want to be with. Way too much work.

But if a woman wants to stay with a man like that, then reassuring him, making him feel safe with her, is likely what she will have to do.

Let's just call it what it is, though: her taking responsibility for the relationship, because he cannot or will not.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

If it isn't about fashion and "sex appeal" (cough) wear sweats and moomoos for a month or two straight and see how it works.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Great article, with a lot of material basis and rationale to it!*


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

john117 said:


> If it isn't about fashion and "sex appeal" (cough) wear sweats and moomoos for a month or two straight and see how it works.


I am sure I have done something equivalent. Did not dampen my husband's attraction to me at all.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

john117 said:


> If it isn't about fashion and "sex appeal" (cough) wear sweats and moomoos for a month or two straight and see how it works.


When I started going out with my gf we could only have one night out each week.We met up almost daily at her place of work which was a gym so she was always in sweats.It never dampened my attraction to her and if anything the sight of her in tracksuit bottoms and a tshirt is my favourite image of her.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

jld said:


> I am sure I have done something equivalent. Did not dampen my husband's attraction to me at all.


Must have been the year you and Dug bought each other matching Snugi lounge wear 😁😁😁


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> When I started going out with my gf we could only have one night out each week.We met up almost daily at her place of work which was a gym so she was always in sweats.It never dampened my attraction to her and if anything the sight of her in tracksuit bottoms and a tshirt is my favourite image of her.


When it becomes regulation uniform we can reassess. We generally have to shame my wife into wearing decent clothes when going out..... For many years she dressed sharply, but the last 5-6 working from home nearly 100% the sweatpants have lost their appeal.


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## Duguesclin (Jan 18, 2014)

There is nothing wrong with sweatpants. You can still imagine your wife under those clothes.

Personally I prefer dresses on my wife. But sweatpants are okay.

Nothing is even better.


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## Hellomynameis (Dec 16, 2016)

Interesting but too one-sided. A husband needs to maintain his attractiveness as well. Why is it all on the woman?


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## peacem (Oct 25, 2014)

My husband finds me at my most attractive when I am happy and fun, when we are laughing or I have something interesting to discuss. He loses attraction when I am am a PITA worrying about trivialities. 

Aesthetically I am not so sure as he likes to make love first thing in a morning when I am at my absolute worst. However, I notice when I am putting on my makeup he brings me a cup of tea and just watches me. When I am dressed up ready to leave the house he does give me a lot of attention before I go. I have also noticed he has started complimenting me on my fragrance which is something he never did and tells me to leave my hair curly (not straightened). I do find something validating in knowing he has a preference in how I look, but he is never controlling.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Hellomynameis said:


> Interesting but too one-sided. A husband needs to maintain his attractiveness as well. Why is it all on the woman?


It should be the responsibility of both to maintain the relationship (whether it be attractiveness or other).

I am guessing by the title of the article it was just solely focused on women (How to Be Attractive for Your Husband) which is why it seems one sided.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I guess I'm just odd. I don't care what my wife wears around the house. I always find her very attractive. If we are going out I know she will look very nice, because she is going to change 3 or 4 times before she decides what she is going to wear. Her hair is going to be perfect, and her makeup will be too.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

peacem said:


> My husband finds me at my most attractive when I am happy and fun, when we are laughing or I have something interesting to discuss. He loses attraction when I am am a PITA worrying about trivialities.
> 
> Aesthetically I am not so sure as he likes to make love first thing in a morning when I am at my absolute worst. However, I notice when I am putting on my makeup he brings me a cup of tea and just watches me. When I am dressed up ready to leave the house he does give me a lot of attention before I go. I have also noticed he has started complimenting me on my fragrance which is something he never did and tells me to leave my hair curly (not straightened). I do find something validating in knowing he has a preference in how I look, but he is never controlling.




Sounds like a very nice attentive husband. Men need to take note on this.

Too many times men don't notice the small stuff we do, or they don't care. A lot of women stop trying because their husbands pay little attention to them, or they stop caring. There comes a point in unhealthy marriages when men stop noticing, complimenting, caring and develop this negative attitude of expecting it and getting angry and resentful when it stops. Some men stop dating their wives once they are married. When they stop dating, women stop trying.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

What I know about women... we love to give. We are giving and we love to make our spouse happy and we will go above and beyond IF we FEEL appreciated. Once appreciation stops and expectation starts, it's not fun anymore.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> What I know about women... we love to give. We are giving and we love to make our spouse happy and we will go above and beyond IF we FEEL appreciated. Once appreciation stops and expectation starts, it's not fun anymore.


Curious, why is this just women, you could argue this would apply to both men and women... I don't think it is a one way street and just as many guys would say the same thing (i.e we love to make our spouse happy and we will go above and beyond IF we FEEL appreciated)


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

EllisRedding said:


> Curious, why is this just women, you could argue this would apply to both men and women... I don't think it is a one way street and just as many guys would say the same thing (i.e we love to make our spouse happy and we will go above and beyond IF we FEEL appreciated)




I think that women are biologically maternal. It's in our DNA unlike men. We are givers, we are pleasers, we want to take people in and take care of them. It brings us joy to care for someone. This is biology. Some people would go as far to say this is one of the reasons why women were created.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

katiecrna said:


> I think that women are biologically maternal. It's in our DNA unlike men. We are givers, we are pleasers, we want to take people in and take care of them. It brings us joy to care for someone. This is biology. Some people would go as far to say this is one of the reasons why women were created.


I think you are talking about two different things. Feeling appreciated has nothing to do with being maternal. Both men and women want to feel appreciated. Now, what constitutes feeling appreciated may vary between genders.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

SOME men can be neanderthals. They work hard, they come home and relax, work hard around the house. They are less intuned to women's emotions and feelings. Their wife could be miserable, depressed, dis connected and they wouldn't know it. 
Women do a lot of stupid sh*t. A lot of lovey dovey small detail stuff that means a lot to them and their spouse don't realize it. And they get their feelings hurt. Men and women are truly from different planets. Yes there is a spectrum with how intune to emotions you are, but stereotypically women are more intuned and emotionally driven than men. And men don't get it and it can be frustrating for women. Women need a lot more than men to be happy imo. Doesn't mean women are bad or men are bad, just that men and women are very different and it makes marriage hard.


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

I have no idea what this has to do with the OP post. Oops sorry everyone I got off track lol.


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## 247769 (May 18, 2016)

What i find atractive and sexy in my wife is her attitude which is a reflection of her soul. I view changes in her body as variety and love it all.

Sent from my Nexus 10 using Tapatalk


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

katiecrna said:


> I think that women are biologically maternal. It's in our DNA unlike men. We are givers, we are pleasers, we want to take people in and take care of them. It brings us joy to care for someone. This is biology. Some people would go as far to say this is one of the reasons why women were created.


Hmmm... you don't think men give, care for, nurture and protect? Or is it a matter of when this happens?

Observe the behavior of a guy who has a good woman, or one who has kids. That is the epitome of "maternal" (which I do not like to even use in that context).


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

john117 said:


> If it isn't about fashion and "sex appeal" (cough) wear sweats and moomoos for a month or two straight and see how it works.


 @john117 wait just a minute sir, I disagree!










It is awesome to feel your wife be attracted to you when you just be yourself, moomoo and all. What is important is communication and sincerity










The best thing about wearing moomoos and sitting close to your computer is that it give you that extra few seconds to hide you porn when your wife walks up behind you. A skinny guy in the nude would be BUSTED.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Didn't read the article but I may,

I can say being attractive for your SO changes in different places of life.

In our younger days, we wanted to remove as much clothing as possible. I bought teddies and things which I enjoyed immensely, though.

Fast forward... now I am much more demanding about my W's appearance. But it's not just for me. I got cancer and realized I wanted her to be a good catch once I was gone. I realized guys are pretty shallow about initial attraction and I felt her appearance didn't portray what I saw in her. So I've been pushing her - wear better fitting clothing, maybe a centimeter of cleavage, etc. she's beautiful and sexy but has been in mom mode for far too long.

As it relates to our marriage, I want her to feel like the woman I see. And she has a hard time transitioning. So wardrobe is important in that transition

Last night she had a pretty red bra and panties and looked beautiful. But what really knocked me out was what she laid down beside me and we shared our bedroom eyes. The passion, the closeness, the connection.. all show up in her face. And THAT is the real attraction.

[edit] for those who haven't had this - it changes her whole face - it is a face only I see and it's amazing

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Hellomynameis said:


> Interesting but too one-sided. A husband needs to maintain his attractiveness as well. Why is it all on the woman?


This is very true.I own a gym and at Christmas the amount of women who buy yearly memberships for their husbands/boyfriends that will rarely be used is huge.It's Funny though not one man has bought his wife/girlfriend a membership.The women using the gym far outnumber the men


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## toblerone (Oct 18, 2016)

I haven't met a whole bunch of women in my life who wouldn't feel insulted if their significant other bought them a gym membership. 

It's like saying ”hey you're fat, go workout'


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

We're both runners, so my hb sees me in in sweaty running clothes a lot.

Beyond that I'm a jeans type.

I do put effort into hair and skin care because I believe in self care. 

He seems to want lots of sex with me. 

But he puts effort into his appearance as well.....I don't need to put effort into my appearance for someone who can't be bothered to do the same for me.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I could pretty much agree with everything in the article...in the sense that I do these things and essentially agree about "why" I do them...but I also understand how this article could make people want to barf. I definitely don't see it as good advice to every woman every where. I mean, some women put no thought into being attractive to their husbands at all and may be doing nothing on this list, and yet their husbands are wildly attracted to them. And there are other women who do everything on this list and more whose husbands will never be attracted to them. Sometimes it doesn't even matter to a couple of there's attraction as long as there is respect.

The underlying message in the article is that it really is about respect...but they suggest you respect him in these certain, specific ways. And they impy AMALT, which is never true, of course.

I personally love feeling mutual attraction with a partner. I simply love it. I want us to be fit and attractive for each other, wear flattering clothes for each other, and act in ways each other finds attractive. Including really sweet romantic stuff, and fun sexy stuff. I love the feel of that deep attraction (mine toward him). It feels amazing! It makes me want to come closer to him all the time. Knowing he is extremely attracted to me and gets that amazing rush from it too is wonderful. 

So to me this article is like, yeah, I'm doing all of that, because I want to. But I'd never try to explain to someone else that they should be this way too. 

The author is saying "ladies, a lot of you end up with men who lose attraction to you and leave...try to heed this advice now before it is too late!"

This is true both ways of course...."hey boys...a lot of you end up with women who lose attraction to you and leave..."

But this message is simply never constructive or beneficial when it is applied globally. Because not everyone ends up with a person who looses attraction to you, and so many other factors come into play in loss of attraction that it is just meaningless in this context.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

jld said:


> A husband who "avoids or shuts down" on his wife when he feels uncomfortable is not one I personally would want to be with. Way too much work.
> 
> But if a woman wants to stay with a man like that, then reassuring him, making him feel safe with her, is likely what she will have to do.
> 
> Let's just call it what it is, though: her taking responsibility for the relationship, because he cannot or will not.


JLD, you are right. Far too many women have to take responsibility for the relationship, why should they? it should be 50:50 iIMO


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Its simple.

Our ladies take care of themselves, are in great shape, sexy, wear those sexy outfits and drive us wild for them.The sex is often, fun and adventurous.

When our ladies gain a lot of weight, don't dress sexy anymore and the sex is once in a while....you can guess the result.

So how to be attractive to your hubby is very simple. Us guys are very visual and physical / sexual. Simple.

Wearing sweat pants, needing to lose weight, low sex drive, etc., equals unattractive wife.


Men are less emotional, do one thing at a time really well, focused, get it done, were as women are the opposite.

Don't expect your man to be emotional like a woman and in tune with feelings ,etc. Men are not wired that way. Just like don't expect women to be less emotional, like us guys. They aren't wired that way. Communication is key both ways.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I find a woman who can swallow a banana whole to be quite attractive.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

How to attract a woman.
Love her
Listen to her.
Validate her concerns.
Bring her flowers just because.
Take her to dinner regularly.
Buy her gifts.

How to attract a man.
Show up naked.
Bring beer.


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