# need some help and advise.



## whynotenough (Apr 18, 2011)

Hello everyone.

fist, I am sorry for my english since I am from other country I may have some grammar/spell error while I write this.

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little about me - I am 22years old half japanese and half Korean. 5'5 tall, weight 115lbs and married 2years ago with my husband (white) and have a kid who is almost 2years old.

I like to take care of myself and want to be look better everytime I go out with him. I do not want him to be embrass by me or people to underestimate him because I may look not good enough.
also I behave very well always never be rude to anyone and trying to be nicer to anyone I met always..

I spend a lot of time working out and beauty stuff as I also work , take care of kid and dog, do house chores..

It seems like its never enough for my husband..he never say anything nice to me..never say I am pretty or so.. if I wear make up and do my hair before I go..he would yell at me for doing it and questioning me that why do I care when I go out..It hurts me everytime..I only tried to be look better for him and want him to tell me I look even ok.. but he never does and he always make me cry by being so mean and ignore all the effort i put on myself..

I bought him lots of present (mac, tv, whatever he wants) but he seems like doesnt care about any when he gets upset.
every little thing happen he gets so pissed off and started blame on me.. example: I feed our dog even before he goes to bed I give him full bowl of food because I dont want him to be hungry..if he spills the bowl over night..its my fault because I gave him food........if he chew the bowl its my fault because I didnt give him enough food...

just little things like this drive me insane and mostly hurts me so bad...worst part is I found myself getting used to this routine..

I get blamed for everything and he always yells that house is dirty then I ask him why dont you help I work and make money too. he said go pay your fu** house rent..well I dont know what to say.. I started to stop talk to him or being around him. I stay in other room when hes in living room because I just do not want to be around sometimes then he gets upset becasue I am not be around him..

I am so depressed all the time, I miss friends and my family in my country, I miss my own time and my own job and freedom..
I just want him to be nice to me...and at least pretend that he likes me.. I never felt so ugly or ashamed like this..it seems like everyone is laughing at me.. I may should just go back to where I belong..

is there something I am doing wrong? is that because I do not speak perfect english or I am not white?

is this what normal american marriage like? I want my kid to have a good family with mom and dad..the one what I did not have..
I have no friends because he does not like me going out with anyone..I used to be surround by people..I do not have anyone to talk to or speak how things are...

sorry it got too long..but may anyone could help me?

Thank you for your time.


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