# Still feeling so angry and depressed



## Butterfly6118 (Nov 24, 2015)

It's been two months since my husband walked out for the fourth time and I am still angry I can't even see him. I am so mad because how we live now with him gone. Because he owned the car it was his and now I don't have one . Since I live in a rural town all the jobs are a 20min highway drive. So I had a job and when he left I was forced to quit because I had no car and could t get there. I can't afford a car or gas and maintance etc. I've had to go on welfare and I feel so ashamed. I don't wanna move. My husband and I owe our house and he's moved out and given up his right to live in the house.. But the mortgage payments are way cheaper than anything we could rent. It'd only $389 a month. 
What has me pissed off the most is that he just walked away. And now he has little to no responsibilities and he's living this happy care free life and I get buried under all his responsibility. I'm left to raise our five year old daughter alone . He just has to pay his child support and he visits every couple of weeks for a few hours . We are forced to live on a very tight budget and he's got all to this money. He's got 2 awesome jobs. It's so unfair. Everyone says he'll get what he deserves but it doesn't seem like it. He gets the good life and leaves me to struggle. I am working to find a job bit right now my depression and anxiety are so high my doctor thinks I need to not work for a while and concentrate of getting better first. I have great family support and I am going to start seeing a mental health worker after the holidays. My life is for my daughter now. But this anger is so strong. I feel so lost and think it's all so unfair. I just Wanna note that just because I am depressed I of have NO thoughts of self harm. My daughter needs me. I could never do that. 
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## Keepin-my-head-up (Jan 11, 2013)

Why did he leave?

You can take him back to court to renogotiate child support, spousal support, etc... if his income had changed.
But if he has been gone for only 2 months, the amount he is paying wasn't determined by a judge right?

Also, stop worrying about him getting his just due, focus on getting you and your kid a better life.
That more than likely includes going after him with a lawyer.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How long were the two of you together and how long married?

How old are the two of you?

Have either of you filed for divorce? Does he make enough to buy you a car as part of the divorce settlement?

I think that you not working could add to your level of depression. So you might want to be very careful about taking too much time off to heal your depression. It could become a vicious cycle.

Do you have any education beyond high school? What kind of job skills do you have? I'm wondering if there could be any kind of online job that you could get where you do not need a car at first.


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## Butterfly6118 (Nov 24, 2015)

I don't know why he left. Things were really good BTW us. He has being so caring and romantic more than he ever has. He kept talking about saving up his overtime so that I could go shopping and get new clothes . He said that on the Monday. Tuesday he stopped talking to me and avoiding me and by Saturday he was saying he didn't feel like we were friends anymore and said he had a friend he could go stay with and he was gone . This being the 4th time he's left now. He's used the not friends I can't talk to you about anything excuse Everytime. But we fought before he left. In the past two years since he left the 3rd time we hardly fought. We had gone through marriage counciling and things seemed so good . One thing before he left we had taken a home equity loan to pay off debts. 80% were his debts. One month after he payed them off he was gone. The other times he left there seems to be another women. He never physically cheaTed. He'd just find some female Co worker . Vent to them about me and our marriage and his feelings and then he'd fall for them and leave me. And I guess when they didn't feel the same way for him he'd come back. He said one reason why he left was that I was always nervous he was cheating . But how could I not. He did have a female coworker and he was talking about her alot of going to the restaurant and hanging out at the restaurant alot. But she has a boyfriend but that was the friend he was staying with. He just got his own place a few days ago she lives with her boyfriend .
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## Butterfly6118 (Nov 24, 2015)

We were married almost 10 years I am 34 he us 32. We lI've in Canada and the law here is u have to be legally separated for a year before filing for a divorce. I have a legal aid lawyer and have started the separation. I am trying for spousal support but it doesn't look promising but j am going to try.
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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

You need serious counselling, this man has emotionally abused you by leaving you 4 times. You shouldn't allow him in your life at all. he should be supporting you both financially until you get that job.
Perhaps he does have another woman/family elsewhere?
Sorry you are in this position but it looks like you are making the right steps. It is also perfectly normal to be angry you are going through the grieving cycle, grieving for your marriage, it will pass and you will heal.


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## DanielleBennett (Oct 9, 2015)

I would be really angry too, he didn't just leave you in a very tight spot, he walked out on his daughter and didn't give you a way to take care of her by getting a job. He should have at least let you use the car or help you to get a used one off craigslist even. So selfish that he would put his daughter in that predicament. You should file for divorce and try to seek legal counsel. If you can't afford a lawyer, legal aid will help you because you are on welfare or you can do some research on an online divorce website.


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