# I asked him out



## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

So I made a bold move and asked this guy out, who I've been talking too, I told him "Hey want to go to this free concert in Downtown LA tonight?" he replies with "I am already in downtown LA LOL". I replied back with "Okay". He never replied, so I guess he doesn't want to go out tonight? Should I cut him off since he gave me that response to me asking him out or what to do?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

musicdiva said:


> So I made a bold move and asked this guy out, who I've been talking too, I told him "Hey want to go to this free concert in Downtown LA tonight?" he replies with "I am already in downtown LA LOL". I replied back with "Okay". He never replied, so I guess he doesn't want to go out tonight? Should I cut him off since he gave me that response to me asking him out or what to do?


Could he be working?


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

MattMatt said:


> Could he be working?


He does have a job, but he could text me a simple "can't tonight" or something along those lines. But he just replied the way he did.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

Then he should have said, I'm at work...


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Livvie said:


> Then he should have said, I'm at work...


Yes I know, but he did not and still has not replied to my "okay" text so I don't think he is going to say yes or even talk to me anymore.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Depends how old you guys are. Some guys are just clueless in interpersonal skills so if that's the case cut him some slack and just ask - huh? Did you want to hang out or not?

Nothing ventured nothing gained,


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

I'm saying you'd be shocked that a lot of good guys ASSUME you're not hitting on them. On the other hand all the d0uchbags ALWAYS assume you're hitting on them. If he's a nice guy he may not realize what you're asking


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

You do not drive. How did you expect to get to the concert?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Can somebody give SMG Nataly's number?


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Buy this book, it may help you. 
I'm not joking either. 









Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Celes (Apr 28, 2015)

I'd move on. He's either not interested or clueless. Neither of which work out for you.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

Celes said:


> I'd move on. He's either not interested or clueless. Neither of which work out for you.


Or polite.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Just wow, the trolls are loose in da HOUSE!

This new name chick has posted 3 ridiculous threads in less than 24 hours

...and it ain't even Halloween yet!:grin2:


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

musicdiva said:


> So I made a bold move and asked this guy out, who I've been talking too, I told him "Hey want to go to this free concert in Downtown LA tonight?" he replies with "I am already in downtown LA LOL". I replied back with "Okay". He never replied, so I guess he doesn't want to go out tonight? Should I cut him off since he gave me that response to me asking him out or what to do?


That's a polite(ish) "no".

Yes, some men are clueless, but you were direct and straight up asked him if he wanted to go to a concert. If he wanted to, he'd say yes.

If he was interested in you, but not available, or didn't like the band, he'd have said no, but maybe we can get together at some other point.

Also, as an aside, aren't there dating message boards one can go to for questions like this? I've found more and more of these types of questions here on Talk about *MARRIAGE* lately. I mean, all are welcome, I suppose, but I'm not sure what the draw to this site is for all these young, single, unmarried people...


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## DellaStreet (Jun 18, 2016)

alexm said:


> Also, as an aside, aren't there dating message boards one can go to for questions like this? I've found more and more of these types of questions here on Talk about *MARRIAGE* lately. I mean, all are welcome, I suppose, but I'm not sure what the draw to this site is for all these young, single, unmarried people...


The forum header says " . . . . . Relationship Help Forum"

I had to look and check to make sure though :wink2:


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## RubyRing (Jun 13, 2016)

musicdiva said:


> So I made a bold move and asked this guy out, who I've been talking too, I told him "Hey want to go to this free concert in Downtown LA tonight?" he replies with "I am already in downtown LA LOL". I replied back with "Okay". He never replied, so I guess he doesn't want to go out tonight? Should I cut him off since he gave me that response to me asking him out or what to do?


The "bold move" of a girl asking a guy out is rarely effective. Unless you are just looking for someone to hang out with, and not a relationship. In my younger days, I thought that the advise to not "chase" men was so sexist, blah, blah, blah, but I have NEVER had a successful relationship develop where I made the "bold" move and asked a guy out, and attempted to initiate. 

If a man is interested, he will pursue you, and he will let you know in no uncertain terms of his interest. This guy's answer was a non-response. He's clearly not interested in you because 1) He didn't ask you out 2) He didn't directly respond to your asking him out, he gave a vague ambiguous non answer.

However, if you keep chasing him, and he's feeling horny, he'll see your "bold" moves as a green light for some casual no strings sex. 

Your best bet is to wait for a guy that you like to show interest in you by pursuing you. If a guy likes you, you will definitely know it. You won't be wondering if he likes you, you won't be wondering if you have plans or not. 

If a guy likes you, you will know it because he will make his interest clear. If you like the guy back, don't play hard to get games, enthusiastically respond to his intitiative.


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## DellaStreet (Jun 18, 2016)

RubyRing said:


> The "bold move" of a girl asking a guy out is rarely effective. Unless you are just looking for someone to hang out with, and not a relationship. * In my younger days, I thought that the advise to not "chase" men was so sexist, blah, blah, blah,* but I have NEVER had a successful relationship develop where I made the "bold" move and asked a guy out, and attempted to initiate.


Great post. I agree 100%.

I thought the bolded above too. Oh well, live and learn, huh?:|


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

DellaStreet said:


> RubyRing said:
> 
> 
> > The "bold move" of a girl asking a guy out is rarely effective. Unless you are just looking for someone to hang out with, and not a relationship. * In my younger days, I thought that the advise to not "chase" men was so sexist, blah, blah, blah,* but I have NEVER had a successful relationship develop where I made the "bold" move and asked a guy out, and attempted to initiate.
> ...


Not sure I agree. My DS18 is dating a girl - probably 9 months now - that was a set up. He didn't pursue at all but girls told him to ask her out. Of course he's in HS ( just graduated) but guys like him aren't so worried about the chase.

He's a good catch too -varsity team captain, honors classes, honors music, etc. But he's a quiet guy and not pushy at all.

There's all kinds of guys and girls out there and it's a different era. I agree typically the girl expects a guy to pursue, but then again we've had plenty of beautiful, smart, dateless girls as neighbors and babysitters over the years.

I've made it clear with my girls (all still young) that if they like a guy the can't be too forward - meaning make it WAY BEYOND OBVIOUS you're interested or many guys won't take a risk.

I believe modern women have to drive whatever dating life they want to have. Asking a guy to "hang out" or meet up in an area (as in I'm coming downtown today - want to grab a coffee? If he works downtown) or something like that is NEEDED to capture a guys attention at times.

But I also agree a woman has to be sly and a bit manipulative to allow many guys to feel like they're the pursuer. Therefore ambiguous "dates" might be best at first - "is she really asking me out or was she just coming into the city? Is she asking me out on a double date or is this just a group of friends?" 

Sometimes a guy just needs to see the risk of rejection is lower, and anything initiated by a girl but short of a real date can accomplish that.

Plus - how the "date" proceeds - looking in his eyes, touching him, shoulder to shoulder contact at some point... Come on women you know how to make the signals. To me these are all completely acceptable things initiated by women that really drive men to act.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Have you ever watched a dog? They are often oblivious and kind of slobbery... but when they catch a glimpse of movement they become laser focused and stalk and pounce.

You're the squirrel. As long as you're safely in your tree gnawing on nuts you'll enjoy a solitary life. If you venture down the tree in the vicinity of a dog. Wag your tail a bit, you'll get his attention and he'll chase.

Why do you think so many women say "men are dogs"?


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Personally I like these posters. They make the rest of the crazy TAM people seem sane.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

RubyRing said:


> The "bold move" of a girl asking a guy out is rarely effective. Unless you are just looking for someone to hang out with, and not a relationship. In my younger days, I thought that the advise to not "chase" men was so sexist, blah, blah, blah, but I have NEVER had a successful relationship develop where I made the "bold" move and asked a guy out, and attempted to initiate.
> 
> If a man is interested, he will pursue you, and he will let you know in no uncertain terms of his interest. This guy's answer was a non-response. He's clearly not interested in you because 1) He didn't ask you out 2) He didn't directly respond to your asking him out, he gave a vague ambiguous non answer.
> 
> ...


You are right, and yeah he wasn't interested. And all of my posts, are all different guys I am talking too at the same time.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> You are right, and yeah he wasn't interested. A*nd all of my posts, are all different guys I am talking too at the same time.*


Wholey Moley, when I was online dating for about 6 months, I chatted and dated about 30 men!

If I post about each and everyone of them, I would clog the drains here (by drains I mean the* Active Topics* part of the forum highway to direct traffic to different topics and posts)! Why can't you just post one thread in regards to your online dating experiences? It would be less selfish of you and more people would be more receptive to not seeing your posts as nonsense and trolling behavior. One nice little package is far better than loads of trash! 

You have a lot of learning to do, both in Online Dating and how to get better results in public forums as well. I hope you listen because it would be in your best interest if you honestly want constructive and positive feedback.

Just sayin...sigh


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> Wholey Moley, when I was online dating for about 6 months, I chatted and dated about 30 men!
> 
> If I post about each and everyone of them, I would clog the drains here (by drains I mean the* Active Topics* part of the forum highway to direct traffic to different topics and posts)! Why can't you just post one thread in regards to your online dating experiences? It would be less selfish of you and more people would be more receptive to not seeing your posts as nonsense and trolling behavior. One nice little package is far better than loads of trash!
> 
> ...


I know all about online dating, I've been doing it my whole life. Just in todays society things have changed a lot. And why have 1 topic, if I had 1 topic, and posted in it, I highly doubt anyone would respond to it.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> *I know all about online dating, I've been doing it my whole life. *Just in todays society things have changed a lot. And why have 1 topic, if I had 1 topic, and posted in it, *I highly doubt anyone would respond to it.*


If you do know all about OD, then why are you posting about every single person you have contact with online? Most of them will not be long term or even relationship material. You are selfish by clogging traffic with 1 topic-Online dating experiences and posting about each and everyone of them on here. If you can't see this, I'm afraid most of us here will be wasting our time with selfish people like yourself.





*And why have 1 topic, if I had 1 topic, and posted in it, I highly doubt anyone would respond to it*

So on some level, you do know your posts are not worth it then? Your true colors are really showing with that tidbit.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

RubyRing said:


> The "bold move" of a girl asking a guy out is rarely effective. Unless you are just looking for someone to hang out with, and not a relationship. In my younger days, I thought that the advise to not "chase" men was so sexist, blah, blah, blah, but I have NEVER had a successful relationship develop where I made the "bold" move and asked a guy out, and attempted to initiate.


Except for the times it is effective!

My first wife asked me to talk to her at a party (where we first met) because she thought I was attractive. A few minutes later she asked me to kiss her, hours later we had sex thus began our relationship.

My second wife (who I had worked with for a few weeks at the time) asked me out on our first date. She then had sex with me on our third date (she offered), 20 years later we're still together quite happily through a 17 year marriage.

Most of the women I have been in sexual relationships with, approached me first, asked me to call them while giving me their phone number, asked me out on the first date. Or they just asked me to have sex with them, within minutes of meeting in a few instances all the way through to the fourth date (although the norm was on the first or second date).

That said whether single or attached I've also turned down plenty of women because I was either not interested in them sexually when single or was already taken. If it wasn't for women chasing me, I wouldn't have enjoyed as rich a sex life as I have.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Personal said:


> Except for the times it is effective!
> 
> My first wife asked me to talk to her at a party (where we first met) because she thought I was attractive. A few minutes later she asked me to kiss her, hours later we had sex thus began our relationship.
> 
> ...


You are among a selective few, we need more like you!:smile2:


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Bibi1031 said:


> You are among a selective few, we need more like you!:smile2:


Actually we need more like his first wife. :wink2:

But I guess that only happens if you are very good looking.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

It is better for a woman to send subtle signals of interest. But I also agree that some guys can be clueless that a girl is into them. Or he may think you're interested but has doubts if he's misreading the signals and that the girl is just being friendly. So he fears possible rejection.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

alexm said:


> That's a polite(ish) "no".
> 
> Yes, some men are clueless, but you were direct and straight up asked him if he wanted to go to a concert. If he wanted to, he'd say yes.
> 
> If he was interested in you, but not available, or didn't like the band, he'd have said no, but maybe we can get together at some other point.


I agree ....I would not bother him again.. he's not interested "ENOUGH"....unless you like subtle rejections... I wouldn't go there again.. the ball is in his court *now*... you initially pursued/ put yourself out there.. now it's his turn to bounce "something" back to work with.. otherwise you are barking up a tree where he is not really all that interested.. 

That's how I would take it anyway...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicdiva (aka Nataly87)


I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt on your second account here. Since we had a global password reset a few days ago many people have not been able to reset their password yet. I've sent you two PMs on this and asked you to please reset the password on Nataly87 and to let me know if you are having a problem with this.

So far you have not reset your password and have not responded to my PMs. I'm giving you to the end of today before I ban this account.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> musicdiva (aka Nataly87)
> 
> 
> I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt on your second account here. Since we had a global password reset a few days ago many people have not been able to reset their password yet. I've sent you two PMs on this and asked you to please reset the password on Nataly87 and to let me know if you are having a problem with this.
> ...


I sent you a reply.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicdiva is Nataly87. Due to the password reset issues, she is going to keep using musicdiva and the Nataly87 account has been perma banned.

Just wanted to clear that up since people have been asking about this.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Never a doubt in my mind who she was.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Lord, that person(s) needs to get a life.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I have moved on, and I am talking to other guys, but I know it isn't going to work out. I just give up on love and life.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)




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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> I have moved on, and I am talking to other guys, but I know it isn't going to work out. I just give up on love and life.


Puleeeeeeeez


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

musicdiva said:


> So I made a bold move and asked this guy out, who I've been talking too, I told him "Hey want to go to this free concert in Downtown LA tonight?" he replies with "I am already in downtown LA LOL". I replied back with "Okay". He never replied, so I guess he doesn't want to go out tonight? Should I cut him off since he gave me that response to me asking him out or what to do?


Sorry but this just screams SMG... Identical writing style.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

And to think that posters have been trying to get those two together. LOL


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> I just give up on love and life.


Is this another possible threat of suicide? Giving up on life? Sounds like it to me. Consider yourself reported.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Bibi1031 said:


> Yup, me think the troll trilogy is pulling a "Sybil" on us. :surprise:



Damn, I'm old enough to know who Sybil is...


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Personal said:


> Damn, I'm old enough to know who Sybil is...


Well, they did do a remake of the original in 2007. You wouldn't be that old if it's that one you remember.


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

Bibi1031 said:


> Well, they did do a remake of the original in 2007. You wouldn't be that old if it's that one you remember.


Since I wasn't aware of the more recent 2007 iteration, that makes it even worse!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Please restrict your posting to giving the OP support. All other posts will be deleted. Anyone persisting on talking about the OP in third person, calling her a troll, etc will get a time out ban to cool off.


(speaking as a moderator)


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I am getting really sick and tired, of messaging guys, reading over their profiles, and yet none of the guys I message, contact me back. It sucks and it hurts my feelings. I go out of my way to read their profiles, and come up with a message, and yet no response. I don't know why. Maybe they don't like the way I look.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> I am getting really sick and tired, of messaging guys, reading over their profiles, and yet none of the guys I message, contact me back. It sucks and it hurts my feelings. I go out of my way to read their profiles, and come up with a message, and yet no response. I don't know why. Maybe they don't like the way I look.


You have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the prince...is the saying anyway.

Maybe you need to take a breather and focus on other things. You may be suffering from OD burnout. It happens.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> You have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the prince...is the saying anyway.
> 
> Maybe you need to take a breather and focus on other things. You may be suffering from OD burnout. It happens.


I am trying to focus on other things, like watching TV shows, reading, etc. But it isn't helping, everyday I feel way worse than the day before. I don't want to be alone forever. I want a Boyfriend, it will make me happy.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

yeah right, but people make us happy. There are couples out there who have been married for 30 or more years together and they are happy as ever. How come they can be together and be happy and yet I can't?


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Happiness is a choice. If you rely on others for your happiness, you're setting them up for failure.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> I am trying to focus on other things, like watching TV shows, reading, etc. But it isn't helping, everyday I feel way worse than the day before. *I don't want to be alone forever. I want a Boyfriend, it will make me happy.*


Well, I am sorry you can't see that others don't make you happy. Only you can accomplish that. Your thinking is flawed and will most certainly always disappoint you.

None of us want to be alone forever. We were created to seek a partner in order to keep the species going. It's not the best solution, but being single is something a lot of us learn to live with and yes, be happy too.

I hope you find that in you and not mistakenly in another person. It's not possible Musicdiva. If you are getting more depressed, please talk to your doctor. Hopefully a couple of IC sessions can be covered by insurance, you will need to have a job so you can pay for professional help. You really need it at this point in your life.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

So @musicdiva I have been with W for 30+ years and am happy. I'll be happy to share the secret. @blueinbr hinted at it. I'll just run down some thoughts - sorry if these aren't well thought out but maybe some thoughts will spur a dialog here.

First, W and I have always been somewhat ambitious. We both went to college and expected to work hard and make our own way in the world. I chose a field that I knew I could be successful at while I figured out what I wanted to REALLY do with my life (accounting / CPA). W chose a profession (food service management) where she could find good work and make a career.

So I guess secret #1 is make a choice that will allow you to get a good job that you don't hate and work hard to be good at it.

Why is this rule #1? Several reasons: first it's all about you and you get to choose and you get to own your own personal success. Or failure. If you fail, spin the wheel again, choose again, and work hard.

Second, it provides financial security / stability. Most marital issues revolve around money so if you nail this you are more able to be happy.

Third, it immerses you in something that really takes all your time for a while. You aren't left worrying about happiness - you are working hard for yourself. This is hard but creates positive self esteem - which is a big part of happiness.

Fourth, it MAKES you attractive. You appear focused, directed and confident in yourself. You are moving forward. Peopke want to grab on and go for a ride on that train.

So that's the first thing you can start July 5 for yourself


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Sorry I had to stop there. But it's a good start. Can you talk about this? Before you were defensive about this area, but since then you've opened up a bit and the mods have calmed down the negativity. I'd really like you to start there and talk about college, training, community college, apprenticeships, management trainee programs, entry positions in a company you like... really ANYTHING you think is a realistic start for a serious @musicdiva career. 

Just throw some thoughts out - maybe you'll get ideas for a career

It's much more interesting and attractive to present yourself going in a particular direction for work so I think it should start here.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I am NOT going to any type of schooling period. So STOP suggesting it. I already have my career as a writer and photographer alright and I DO NOT need a degree to say that.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> I am NOT going to any type of schooling period. So STOP suggesting it. I already have my career as a writer and photographer alright and I DO NOT need a degree to say that.


A career gives you monetary independence. Does yours give you that? If it doesn't then it's a hobby that brings joy to your life. You are free to keep that career, but you will need a job to secure your monetary independence. 

How limited are you at finding a job? What qualifications are you lacking? Can you be honest with us in regards to that? You say you are not able to work, not just that you don't want to. What interferes with your inability to work aside from skills or training?

Are you disabled that you cannot work? Have you filed for disability?


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> A career gives you monetary independence. Does yours give you that? If it doesn't then it's a hobby that brings joy to your life. You are free to keep that career, but you will need a job to secure your monetary independence.
> 
> How limited are you at finding a job? What qualifications are you lacking? Can you be honest with us in regards to that? You say you are not able to work, not just that you don't want to. What interferes with your inability to work aside from skills or training?
> 
> Are you disabled that you cannot work? Have you filed for disability?


I suffer from anxiety and depression, so me going out in public is difficult. NO i do not take medication because I refuse to take it because popping pills just makes you more insane and is addictive. I am not seeing a therapist because my health insurance isn't set up yet. Yes I did file for disability and even got a lawyer and went to a hearing and saw a judge and the judge said I was capable of working.

I DO NOT have a lot of work experience to back me up either. retail work I worked at a store in 2007 and then quit. and then in 2011, I worked another retail job and ended up quitting. The other type of work I have done and still do is my freelance writing and photography as well as being a house wive, cleaning house for my parents, since I still live at home and I am an only child.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> I suffer from anxiety and depression, so me going out in public is difficult. NO i do not take medication because I refuse to take it because popping pills just makes you more insane and is addictive.


IMO, The medication being bad for you is a huge misconception on your part. While some meds can be addictive, that is why being supervised by a doctor avoids pitfalls. You really need to consult with a doctor and not just not take anything because it might be wrong. The doctor will know if it is possible or not or if you truly need them or not. What's the harm is seeking a professional's advice?

Don't stop trying to get disability. My sister had to try several times, but she did get it. She suffers from front lobe epilepsy. She doesn't have severe spells where she falls and could choke on her own tongue or vomit. Her brain just goes berserk. She can't see, talk or feel sometimes for more than a minute at a time. Very dangerous because she can't cook, bathe, or drive when she gets several of these "episodes" a day some days. 

If your lawyer knows there is a high probability that you deserve disability, then don't give up. That of course has to do with how much money your parents need to pony up for the lawyer's wages.

You are in a difficult situation indeed. But there is hope Musicdiva. You are not destitute. Your parents have and will continue to provide for you. That is a blessing. The problem is that your parents will not live forever. What kind of inheritance will you have. If and when they can no longer care for you? This is something you need to know so you are prepared when that time comes. 

You don't seem too worried about that. You are concerned about not having a partner. I understand that too. It's just that you need to be more realistic about living with a significant other. Only your parents feel the responsibility to care for you and don't want you to work, any others may not feel that way. Do you understand why we keep harping on your need to secure your own future and not anyone else?

Don't get upset and take your ball home because You don't like what you hear here. We care even if we couldn't fully understand you. I do now as well as others.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> I suffer from anxiety and depression, so me going out in public is difficult. NO i do not take medication because I refuse to take it because popping pills just makes you more insane and is addictive. I am not seeing a therapist because my health insurance isn't set up yet. Yes I did file for disability and even got a lawyer and went to a hearing and saw a judge and the judge said I was capable of working.
> 
> I DO NOT have a lot of work experience to back me up either. retail work I worked at a store in 2007 and then quit. and then in 2011, I worked another retail job and ended up quitting. The other type of work I have done and still do is my freelance writing and photography as well as being a house wive, cleaning house for my parents, since I still live at home and I am an only child.


Do you earn any money off the ads on your site? It would seem that would be a way for you to create an income for yourself.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Do you earn any money off the ads on your site? It would seem that would be a way for you to create an income for yourself.


GoogleAdsense is BS. You only get $100 a month and thats not enough to life off of. And I cannot access that money because I need a bank account and I can't have a bank account or work, because of the SSI/SSDI, if I want that crap, I cannot have ANY money period. Otherwise I can't get that stuff. But then again I don't even qualify for that anyway. So again I GIVE UP.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

I've said this on another of your threads' but I will say it here too- We can no longer help you. Every time you ask for advice and people try to give it to you, you put up these perceived barriers (excuses) as to why you can't carry out said objectives. Now you are saying- yet again- that you give up.
Please go seek help through a professional. If you tell your parents you need professional help I am sure they'd only be too happy to help their daughter get what she needs in life, especially if that help can stop her sitting around being a victim of her issues.
Good luck to you.
But we can't help you.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

musicdiva said:


> I suffer from anxiety and depression, so me going out in public is difficult.


What do you take pictures of? Your couch? How will you date?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> GoogleAdsense is BS. You only get $100 a month and thats not enough to life off of.


To make more money via GoogleAdsense, you would need to drive more good traffic to your site. That's where learning some about how to use hootsuite to do your own social media would help. And you can learn about Hootesuite for free, or get the small package that runs about $10 a month. Learn to promote your own site.

Once you know how to promote your own site, you could start doing social media for other people and companies. This would generate more income.



musicdiva said:


> And I cannot access that money because I need a bank account and I can't have a bank account or work, because of the SSI/SSDI, if I want that crap, I cannot have ANY money period. Otherwise I can't get that stuff. But then again I don't even qualify for that anyway. So again I GIVE UP.


You can earn $100 a month and get SSI. For SSI, a person used to be able to earn up to $700 a month without it affecting the SSI. I'm not sure what it is now.

https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10095.pdf

You can have a bank account and get SSI as well, as long as you don't have a huge amount in the bank. So open an account, get your money out of Google. Just don't keep a lot of it in the bank. You can search the web and find out how much you can have in the bank for SSI.

Since you said that you cannot get SSI anyway, open a bank account and get your money from google.

Another thing is that if you run your site as a business, you can deduct your business expenses from the money that you earn from google. Do you have to pay for some company, like godaddy, to host your web site? Do you have computer and electronic equiptment? They can all be deductible so you can write that off against whatever you earn at google.

Why not learn some things about how to have a small business?

You cannot get SSDI because you have to have not worked and have not paid into social security for some period of time to get it.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> To make more money via GoogleAdsense, you would need to drive more good traffic to your site. That's where learning some about how to use hootsuite to do your own social media would help. And you can learn about Hootesuite for free, or get the small package that runs about $10 a month. Learn to promote your own site.
> 
> Once you know how to promote your own site, you could start doing social media for other people and companies. This would generate more income.
> 
> ...


Having a bank account is out of the question, because I have about $1,000 to $4,000 in my googleadsense, so transferring that over isn't good for SSI and I will probably just waste that money anyway. So I would rather leave it, as is and let it build up.

Yes the website I use, uses godaddy as a URL source, and you pay $10 a year to keep your URL name. That's it really. And trust me SSI does NOT want you to have any money or any type of job period. I went through the process trust me.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> Having a bank account is out of the question, because I have about $1,000 to $4,000 in my googleadsense, so transferring that over isn't good for SSI and I will probably just waste that money anyway. So I would rather leave it, as is and let it build up.
> 
> Yes the website I use, uses godaddy as a URL source, and you pay $10 a year to keep your URL name. That's it really. And trust me SSI does NOT want you to have any money or any type of job period. I went through the process trust me.



I've helped several people get SSI and SSDI. I am aware of ways that you could pull that money out and have it not hurt your applications. 

You are wrong if you think that you cannot have a bank account to get SSI. When a person sets SSI, they have to have some place for the SSI payments to be deposited. One is that you use the bank/bank-card that they set up. Or you can have it auto deposited into your own bank account.

What you cannot have is a bank account with lots of money in it. 

How many years has it taken you to earn that $1,000 to 4,000? Google reports all income greater than $600 a year to the IRS. So it’s going to show up when they search on your social security number for any SSI application.

Google should also be sending you a 1099Misc for that money. And you have to file taxes on Schedule C (or C-EZ).

It seems that part of the issue you have is that you are not open to any kind of input/advice. So be it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So what if you waste the money? You are wasting it by not taking it out. At some point Google can declare it uncollected and either re-absorb it or turn it in to the state as uncollected. Isn’t that wasting the money as well?


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Wow, that seems more like a wiseass remark. I wouldn't talk to him anymore, it would piss me off.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

Do you do any relaxation techniques like yoga or therapeutic sounds / music for your anxiety? If not, look into it.

I wonder if your anxiety is causing you to engage in rigid thinking, and if relaxation might allow you to learn to approach things with more flexibility.

Your responses to our suggestions sound very angry, but I am now wondering f it isn't just stress from hearing ideas that don't conform to the ideas you have about things. This is the rigid thinking I am talking about.

Clinical hypnosis has historically been used to help with relaxation, and self hypnosis - or auto hypnosis - us something you could do at home by reading a book. It's basically that feeling that happens when you zone out... you're relaxing your conscious mind.

something to consider.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> I've helped several people get SSI and SSDI. I am aware of ways that you could pull that money out and have it not hurt your applications.
> 
> You are wrong if you think that you cannot have a bank account to get SSI. When a person sets SSI, they have to have some place for the SSI payments to be deposited. One is that you use the bank/bank-card that they set up. Or you can have it auto deposited into your own bank account.
> 
> ...


What the hell are you talking about? I don't understand anything your saying and your making me feel more stressed out and making my anxiety worse here. You DO NOT have a google adsense account so you DO NOT know jack crap.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

musicdiva said:


> What the hell are you talking about? I don't understand anything your saying and your making me feel more stressed out and making my anxiety worse here. You DO NOT have a google adsense account so you DO NOT know jack crap.


Personal attacks are against forum rules. Consider yourself reported.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

musicdiva said:


> What the hell are you talking about? I don't understand anything your saying and your making me feel more stressed out and making my anxiety worse here. You DO NOT have a google adsense account so you DO NOT know jack crap.


Such rudeness. 
If anything that was really helpful advice. 
I pity the fool who falls for you. 
Luckily that may not happen as your street smarts aren't good enough to manipulate some poor fella. 



Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> What the hell are you talking about? I don't understand anything your saying and your making me feel more stressed out and making my anxiety worse here. You DO NOT have a google adsense account so you DO NOT know jack crap.


You realize this rude response was to a mod right?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

I don't care. None of you know what I am going through, and none of you are helping me in anyway. Your just making things worse.


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## Kylie84 (May 4, 2012)

Yeah well good job Nataly, hope you get banned... again. Your wonderful personality is clearly taking you places....


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Then stop posting and go away like you keep threatening.

If we can't help you, ignore the post. Don't make it worse by throwing out personal attacks. It makes you appear wacko and out of control...like someone who is not medicated and should be.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

musicdiva said:


> I don't care. None of you know what I am going through, and none of you are helping me in anyway. Your just making things worse.


Nataly, you would be surprised how many posting in your threads have been through many of the same things you are currently dealing with.

I get disability. It took YEARS before it was approved. I never got SSI because I was finally approved for SSDI. But, no one explained the appeals process to me back then and I reapplied after each denial... for 4 years. Then, one day, I got a letter from them saying "You have been approved" and it went back to my first application because they realized what was going on with my applications. I, however, had worked prior to this, so that is why I was approved for SSDI. 

Had I been approved for SSI, it would have been dependent on my husband's income, not just my lack of income. Our son actually did get SSI for awhile after being diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of 2 years. He received it for a few years, then after he no longer needed medication, it ended. 

My husband is currently fighting Social Security. His doctors (both primary and psychiatrist) will not release him to work because of his depression, anxiety, among other things. He has been denied for SSI, but not totally sure why... I think it is because I get disability. He has been denied by Social Security for disability because their doctors, apparently, know more about what my husband is capable of doing... more than his own doctors. Ultimately, however, he wants to return to work.

Now, you keep saying that you can't have a bank account, can't have *any* money in that account, etc. Sorry, but that is incorrect. @EleGirl is correct in her post. You absolutely CAN have an account. You just cannot keep large sums of money in it.

You have a few thousand dollars, currently. What is wrong with using that to get some things you need? Maybe buying food so your parents don't have to buy it all for you? Bottom line is that there are options. And, you need to recognize that many of us are just trying to help you out. Many of us have lived through what you are currently dealing with. And many if us have helped others in your situation. If you don't want help, but just want to vent, then say so, rather than lashing out at the posters taking their time to respond to your posts.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> What the hell are you talking about? I don't understand anything your saying and your making me feel more stressed out and making my anxiety worse here. You DO NOT have a google adsense account so you DO NOT know jack crap.


You are wrong. I've had a google AdSense account for years. 

I have several websites.

I also own and have run several businesses.

I know a lot more than "jack crap".

And I'm trying to help you, but clearly you are not willing to take any input.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> I don't care. None of you know what I am going through, and none of you are helping me in anyway. Your just making things worse.


And you have no clue what others on TAM are and have gone through in their lifetime. I only wish that the things you consider problems were the worst that has ever happened to me in my lifetime. I'm sure that many others on here would have the same wish.

Please do fill us in on how awful your life is. You have yet to disclose anything that is really a major problem that you could not fix in a heart beat.


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## musicdiva (Jun 19, 2016)

Just whatever. I give up.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

musicdiva said:


> What the hell are you talking about? I don't understand anything your saying and your making me feel more stressed out and making my anxiety worse here. You DO NOT have a google adsense account so you DO NOT know jack crap.


Your attitude is just rude much of the time. People try to give you input/help and this is the kind of response you give.

I remember you saying on other threads that you were verbally abusive to your boyfriend. He might have put up with it for a while. But here on TAM we are not going to put up with you being abusive. I have gone out of my way to get some posters who were giving you a hard time to stop it. And this attitude of yours is the thanks I get from you. Forget that. I'm not going to put up with it.

I'm not sure why you think people will put up with being talked to like this. A few day break will give you some time to think about it.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Your attitude is just rude much of the time. People try to give you input/help and this is the kind of response you give.
> 
> I remember you saying on other threads that you were verbally abusive to your boyfriend. He might have put up with it for a while. But here on TAM we are not going to put up with you being abusive. I have gone out of my way to get some posters who were giving you a hard time to stop it. And this attitude of yours is the thanks I get from you. Forget that. I'm not going to put up with it.
> 
> I'm not sure why you think people will put up with being talked to like this. A few day break will give you some time to think about it.


I was planning on using this in another thread that @EleGirl just deleted (the MGTOW thread), looks like I can put it to good use here ... :grin2:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EllisRedding said:


> I was planning on using this in another thread that @EleGirl just deleted (the MGTOW thread), looks like I can put it to good use here ... :grin2:


LOL......

That other thread was clearly a spammer driving traffic to his youtube site.

However, the OP on this thread has a 14 day ban. She might be back.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> the OP on this thread has a 14 day ban. She might be back.


She'll probably re register with yet another username.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> She'll probably re register with yet another username.


That's a perma-ban.


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> LOL......
> 
> 
> 
> However, the OP on this thread has a 14 day ban. She might be back.


I hope so. I have no idea why folks that are relatively new on this online forum think we should tolerate their disrespect. It doesn't make sense at all. You should read the forum rules and learn that their "reasons" for rudeness will not be tolerated. 

The nerve....sheesh! :grin2:


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Bibi1031 said:


> I hope so. I have no idea why folks that are relatively new on this online forum think we should tolerate their disrespect. It doesn't make sense at all. You should read the forum rules and learn that their "reasons" for rudeness will not be tolerated.
> 
> The nerve....sheesh! :grin2:


 Most likely a millennial thing. That was my first thought.


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