# Had phone sex... with my wife. Questions...



## LongParFour (Sep 21, 2016)

Last night my wife and I were apart, and she, being normally quite reserved, was messaging me on Snapchat. 

Next thing you know, we were lightly flirting and she mentioned to me a certain fantasy of hers, I started throwing in a few kinky extras, which she wholeheartedly embraced and next thing you know we are full on having Snapchat sex. 

She has never really been into this, and only said she felt awkward. However, this time was completely different, and we had a great time.

Her fantasies were more than I expected. Should I read into this that she might be into these things, or just let it go as a passing glimmer? If she were into it I'd be all about it, but in all of your collective experiences what is the line between fantasy and reality when it comes to a woman's imagination?


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## vel (Aug 27, 2016)

Women (people) are all different, so why don't you ask your wife directly?


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## caruso (Sep 23, 2016)

It worked, right?

Don't over think.

Otherwise before you know it you'll even be wondering if you're loading the dishwasher correctly.


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## LongParFour (Sep 21, 2016)

vel said:


> Women (people) are all different, so why don't you ask your wife directly?




Honestly I'm a bit nervous to ask straight on. She's sensitive to feeling directed. Over sensitive, but I digress.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Ask her. For me fantasies are just that, wishful thinking. I would not want them in my everyday life and would not know what to do with them in my everyday life. 

So, when things are a bit hot between the two of you, ask her. Babe, you know that thing, do you want to really happen or it's just play. Don't come off as judging and watch your tone when you ask her.


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## LucasJackson (May 26, 2016)

I remember when my shy "Mary Poppins" wife started getting more aggressive and adventurous with our sex life. I was loving it until I discovered that the reason why was that she was cheating on me.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

You can offer to try one of her fantasies with her. Just be fully accepting if she says that it was just something for fantasy, not real life.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Are you hinting that one of your wife's fantasies involved being "directed" ...like being sexually dominated?

Some fantasies are things that turn us on when we think about them but we would never want to experience them in real life.

Some fantasies are things that could be explored in real life but timidity and doubt prevent us from experiencing them.

Only your wife can determine which situation fits which fantasy.

I will say this from experience of fantasies of domination, the need to feel safe is absolutely paramount in being able to explore them outloud. Her first step was snap chat phone sex, a very safe step that appears to have gone well. She may need to experience this a few times before she feels safe enough to want to take another step. 

I suggest you simply tell her how exciting that was for you and how much you'd enjoy doing that again. Then let it go and let her decide if she wants a repeat or another step.

I will caution you that domination has a very wide range of acceptable and those new to the "dungeon" should be cautious to slowly learn each other's comfort level.


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## heartbroken50 (Aug 9, 2016)

vel said:


> Women (people) are all different, so why don't you ask your wife directly?


This.
My H and I have had a very active fantasy life, but have been content to keep it as fantasy only, as acting on some of them isn't worth the potential risks to our marriage.
If she has trouble talking about things in person, but opens up during chats with you, maybe ask her in a chat?
I'd also make sure she knows how much you enjoyed it... congrats!


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## LongParFour (Sep 21, 2016)

Anon Pink said:


> Are you hinting that one of your wife's fantasies involved being "directed" ...like being sexually dominated?
> 
> 
> 
> ...




No, you misunderstood. Honestly she loves light domination when we're having sex... physically not verbally.

This was a fantasy in which we had sex on the beach and other people were watching. She seemed to love the idea, during our playing around. 


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

DarthMaduro said:


> No, you misunderstood. Honestly she loves light domination when we're having sex... physically not verbally.
> 
> This was a fantasy in which we had sex on the beach and other people were watching. She seemed to love the idea, during our playing around.
> 
> ...


Ah, okay thanks for the clarification.

So she engaged in snap chat phone sex which was a role play about sex on the beach?

Sounds like she might be able to go into more detail about her other fantasies.


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## LongParFour (Sep 21, 2016)

I think so too. Just trying to find a time and place to bring it up


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

DarthMaduro said:


> Next thing you know, we were lightly flirting and she mentioned to me a certain fantasy of hers, I started throwing in a few kinky extras, which she wholeheartedly embraced and next thing you know we are full on having Snapchat sex.


All I know is that I hate you very much. 

:wink2:


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Tell her how much you enjoyed it. Make it easier for her to open up. Let her know you are not judging her. That way she will more at ease about talking about these things.


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## Capricious (Sep 21, 2016)

Maybe in the past she has been worried that she will be judged. Perhaps she has hit a turning point in her sexuality as is trying to embrace that. Is she more confident within herself? She might be at a really content stage in her life and your marriage.


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