# Young Wife older Husband ANyone??



## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

Hello, is their any couples who are younger wife older husband? Would be great to chat with other couples simular to us.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

I was 16 years older than my second wife. For me, it was lonely, as we did not share much of a common background. Of course , it did not help that she is NPD, either.
I can tell you that while some folks think that the older person is getting all the benefit( a young, pretty wife), he may also be giving up some things that he might have shared with a contemporary.
It is really weird, but sort of fun, when my kids are with me and folks think I am their grandpa. My dad had my little sister whenhe was 50 and my mom was 45, so I am not all that freaked by this.
But, seriously, I think my kids are sort of embarrassed by me. That is a little tough to take.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

How much of age difference? My hubby is 8 years older then I am.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

My husband is older and I'm younger, he is 45 and I'm 27 about to be 28 whoo hoo.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Buy stock in Pfizer.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Arnold said:


> Buy stock in Pfizer.



Viagra goes generic in 3 months
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

My husband and I dont share many hobbies in common like for ezample he loves nascar and i like to shop, BUT we have been together 11 years so i'm not so worried that we will split due to the age gap. If he wants to do somthing that for example i may not want to do he's more then able to do it. Sure we've had people stair at us, some rude comments like "is that your father, is that your daugther but not so much as ive gotten older (nearly 30) He has a son who has nothing to do with us (way before My husband and i got together) And I don't have any husman kids. I'm sorry you child are "embaressed by you." I enjoy being with older men because they tend to accept a women for who she is, their loyal,caring,employed (hard working) sexually experinced, alittle Dominating, amoung things so the women benifits too! But thanks for the comments sorry you have an X instead of a current Younger wife.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

Why do people seem to ASSUME older men have a hard time getting it up? My husband has no troubles whatsoever. Im 29 and my husband is 52.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> How much of age difference? My hubby is 8 years older then I am.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree: Mine too.

I think it depends on how healthy the man is. In the past, two different men I have dated have had those issues. One was 40 and the other was 42. The 42 year old man was a cigarette smoker, so I'm sure that did not help.

While I appreciate the benefits of an older man, I have also been exposed to the darker aspects of such a relationship. I will never allow a man to use age as a reason to dominate me. Some men want a younger woman because they want someone to mold and control. 

My husband is a real man, so he does not seek to mold me or become my father.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

I dont think age has anything to do with not being able to get hard its actually a health condition. My husband is an ex smoker but he is still very healthy. as for the domination i like alittle bit of domination in the bedroom but I like equality outside of the bedroom.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

domination isnt about being a real man or daddy figure its a kink lol


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Sorry. I didn't know that you were speaking of domination in the bedroom. 

As a man ages, ED tends to become more common.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

We dont have that problem though my husband is 52 and its me that seems to be less intrersted in sex due to my antidepressants


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

What are you depressed about, love? Medicine alone often does not help; people often need therapy to get to the root of their depression. 

I am glad to hear that your husband does not suffer from ED. Neither does mine!


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

Well I have Manic Depression it comes and goes im fine right now ive had previous infertility,(ending in total loss of having children and cannot adopt, i also have anxiety (social anxiety and seperation anxiety, im on medications but some things set me off.


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

I met my husband when I was 18 and he was 28. 
We were friends at first but it gradually progressed to dating. I am 31 and he is 42. 
We are still going strong. :smthumbup:


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

that cool Swan! See younger and older Can work!!!


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

brat30 said:


> We dont have that problem though my husband is 52 and its me that seems to be less intrersted in sex due to my antidepressants


So how in the world did a 41 yr old man (your hubby) hook up with an 18 yr old woman (you).
I am 40 yrs old and while there is a certain attraction, sexually, to a barely legal woman, I just cannot 
imagine how there would be a whole lot in common.

You mention his son is not part of his life but how about your parents? I am pretty open minded but I would have a real problem in seeing my 18 yr old daughter with anyone more than 6 or 7 yrs older than her. 

Were you in any other serious relationships before hooking up with a man who was twice your age plus 3? 
Was there abuse that spurred this on? It's great if it all worked out ok but something must have brought this all about as 18 yr old women don't just go out and hook up with 41 yr old men unless there is some extraordinary circumstance. Was he married when the two of you met? Just trying to wrap my head around all this...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

Just curious why all the Questions? Im 29 now and legal. My mother and step dads oppions doesn't matter now or previously. They realize that i am a WOMEN and can make up my own mind and actually have really begun to like my husband over the last 9/10 years we have been together. It wasn't my parents that had the issue but his mother. There was no "abuse" in my past why would that make me like older men? I don't have "daddy issues" Some women actually like older men JUST BECAUSE! I'm sorry if you don't understand nor get it. We are happy, we may not have much in common but even those who are close in age don't! He was Divorced when we started chatting on yahoo messager didnt want a serious relationship but ended up really getting along with me and then we ended up togther!


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

brat30 said:


> Why do people seem to ASSUME older men have a hard time getting it up? My husband has no troubles whatsoever. Im 29 and my husband is 52.


Because many of them do. That is why Viagra et al is so nice.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

yeah maybe in ur 80s 90s etc i wouldnt be with someone that old i have my limits!!


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

brat30 said:


> that cool Swan! See younger and older Can work!!!


Thanks and congrats to you for making it work, as well.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

I, actually, like my ex-in laws more than I ever did my XW. They like me, too, and were very supportiive when I divorced my XW after her serial cheating. Her dad told me his daughter is a habitual liar who has had to reinvent herself every 5 years or so, as she alienates people. He was not at all surprised that she cheated.
I would not do the May/December thing again. It was like having another child and very lonely.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

brat30 said:


> Just curious why all the Questions? Im 29 now and legal.Your situation is rather unusual. Of course, you are not obligated to answer them. My mother and step dads oppions doesn't matter now or previously. They realize that i am a WOMEN and can make up my own mind and actually have really begun to like my husband over the last 9/10 years we have been together. It wasn't my parents that had the issue but his mother. What were his mother's issues?There was no "abuse" in my past why would that make me like older men? I don't have "daddy issues" Some women actually like older men JUST BECAUSE! I'm sorry if you don't understand nor get it. We are happy, we may not have much in common but even those who are close in age don't!It might be hard to maintain a marriage with nothing to share. He was Divorced when we started chatting on yahoo messager didnt want a serious relationship but ended up really getting along with me and then we ended up togther!


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

brat30 said:


> Well I have Manic Depression it comes and goes im fine right now ive had previous infertility,(ending in total loss of having children and cannot adopt, i also have anxiety (social anxiety and seperation anxiety, im on medications but some things set me off.


Manic depression is a serious illness that needs close monitoring. Antidepressants often need to be combined with antipsychotics. I hope that you have a professional to talk to about these things. Older men are often more accepting of illnesses and I wonder if that is part of the attraction....

How many years difference is May/December?


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

brat30 said:


> He was Divorced when we started chatting on yahoo messager didnt want a serious relationship but ended up really getting along with me and then we ended up togther!


That is soooooo creepy...he was 41 and chatting with teenagers on Yahoo messenger!


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

Hey Yes its it seems unusual But im sure its its common its just not somthing that alot of people "share" because they are worried that they like i have will be Judged, it seems that its ok for a man to date or marry an older women but if a older man married a younger women it looks wrong or they are cradle robbers or child molesters or somthing (thats the idea mostly women) seem to think. I WILLINGLY and happyly went into the realtionship. His Mothers issue was he was with a younger women before me (not as young) but younger who had cheated on his and she assumed becasue i was younger i'd cheat on him/ use him like she did she also reassured me that he had NO plans on marrying me. She wanted him to move in with him but it wasnt happening. As far as having nothing in common, We have little in common but we do love each other and we must do okay if we've been together 10 years!


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

CalifGuy said:


> That is soooooo creepy...he was 41 and chatting with teenagers on Yahoo messenger!


Does he like Justin Bieber?


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

CALI guy I was 20 somthing when we met DO UR MATH


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

I was born in 1982


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

No Do you?? im nearly 30 its not really my age range


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> Viagra goes generic in 3 months
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

brat30 said:


> CALI guy I was 20 somthing when we met DO UR MATH


You stated earlier in this thread that you've been with him 11 years. 29 yrs old minus 11 = 18 yrs old.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

He sure sounded like quite the mama's boy for an old man of 41 for her to be all up in your business like that! Was he living with her at the time?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Arnold said:


> :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


I prefer Cialis...when that goes generic, I am never going to leave the house and the only time my hand will not have a death grip on my fortified wood is when my wife needs to borrow it!!! ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I prefer Cialis too. Lasts much longer and doesn't cause blue vision.

Brat30, you do not need to defend your relationship. If it works for you, that is great!

People will always have questions/issues with age difference relationships. 

Men old enough to be my father disgust me and when I see a couple with a generational age difference, I can't help but think that the man is preying on someone more naive. Of course, this is because I have actually had that experience.

Nobody in family of origin ever lets me forget about my 42 year old ex, who treated me like crap. It doesn't matter that I moved on and married a wonderful man. The next time it is mentioned, I will politely ask why they feel the need to remind me of such sad times.


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## Again71 (Mar 31, 2011)

FirstYearDown said:


> :iagree:
> 
> While I appreciate the benefits of an older man, I have also been exposed to the darker aspects of such a relationship. I will never allow a man to use age as a reason to dominate me. Some men want a younger woman because they want someone to mold and control.
> 
> My husband is a real man, so he does not seek to mold me or become my father.


My fiance who is 15 yrs older than me, I am 40, he is 55. He is very controlling, dominate and its his way all the time. 

He used to treat me like a total princess and as the years went by, that started changing.

Two months ago I bought my own car, he was with me and knew about it. Usually he buys the cars for me. He felt he was losing control of me.....

Two days after the car, he kicked me out. Two weeks later, asked me to stay and last Tuesday, told me to leave. We are through, I got my own apartment and I am moving next weekend.

This is the typical yo-yo effect that controlling personalities have. Let you go, reel you back in, let you go etc etc. They control the situation.

It took me 10 yrs to learn this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

*hug* Well, at least you found the strength to leave. 

An older man controlled and manipulated me for two years. I was very sheltered, naive and emotionally unstable. He was ugly, but I thought I needed him. 

"I'M OLDER I KNOW BETTER! YOU NEED TO DO WHAT I SAY!" *shudder* If any man pulled that sh!t with me now, he would need a doctor to get my heels out of his @ss.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

In my case, my XW put the full court press on me. Her friend, a mutual friend, kept urging her on. Before me, her boyfriend was 24 years older.
So, she "accidentally" got pregnant and I did the "right thing". Came to find out it was all planned out.
I was 2 years out of my first marriage where my wife had multiple affairs while I took care of my kids at night.
It was a big ego stroke for me having a 27 year old pursue me. Heck ,she was almost as good looking as me. So, you can imagine how hard it was to resist.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

I need to recap on how many years my husband and I have been together it seems like forever (in a good way of course) I try to forget my first marraige and image my current husband was my ONLY marriage but it wasnt, I actually have been with Tim for 9-10 years we ment when i was 20 years old and before him i was married at 18 to a very jealous and control abusive older man who i tried to leave atleast 3 times before i finally got the courage to leave! TIM MY current husband treats me with the atmost love and respect and I love him and I know he loves me! If you are with anyone who doesnt love you or treat you right i feel you shouldbt be with them regurdless of age gaps or the cookie cutter realtionships (ie the Norm). I know i dont have to justify my marriage to anyone on here this is MY LIFE and we are very happy the only disapointment was finding out i couldnt have children nor adopt (Nothing to do with him) more finances and infertility that turned into a hystarextomy.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I'm 6 years older than my husband.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." 

So what is the problem. Every thing sounds peachy. Is the post to encourage other 20 yr old women to pursue old men? You are happy with a man with no shared interest, what do you talk about? Do you hang out with his older friends or does he hang with the young crowd? Must be very strange socially. You must be bored senseless!

BTW you said that 80 and 90 yr old men were outside of your age range, What are you going to do with your husband as he ages? 

When your 39 he will be 62 and when you are 49 he will be 72 and at the tender age of 59 he will be 82. As you get older, it will get more and more difficult. 

You may need to be a nurse maid for 10 to 15 years while you are still not yet ready to hang up the spurs. That is just one downside of marrying someone so much older.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

I just ment at 29 I was not going to be with someone 70/80 or 90 i am more then willing to be with him till death yes i realize that as i get older he gets older (thats obvous) This post was really to see if i could find other couples who were in the same situation not so much to attach Negtive comments from judgmental people which i KNEW would because we;ve been judged all of our 9/10 year realtioship but apart from the age gap we are no diffrent then any other LOVING AND HAPPY COUPLE! Like I said THE only reason we are being Judged is because he is a MAN. If this story was a older women she would be congradulated. Things are so "One sided" when it comes to things and very baswards. Don't people remember the 1700's men would marry girls much younger noneone would think about back then, girls would have children in their teens (not that i think thats right) Everyone assums that I was some "Child" at 18 (which was my FIRST marriage) I wasn't a child, My parents kicked me out of the house, i had already been overseas, I had a job I wasn't some no responsiblity stupid irresponsible teenager like teenagers today! You asked about Abuse....there was abuse as a child but it wasn;t from my father because he died when i was 8, my Mother spanked me when i was bad (but then who's parents didnt before parents weren't allowed to punish their kids?) And then In my first marriage from 2000-2001 I was marriage for a very short time to a very horrible guy we lasted a short time but i got the courage to leave him ! My current husband is amazing and loving and I dont care how old he is i will ALWAYS be here for him (regurdless of his age) I started this to see if anyone eles wanted to share their stories about having an "older" spouse maybe open the eyes to all of you who are just sitting back and either writting jealous judgemental comments or who have been rude somehow! Ive prove that society is still very CLOSE-MINDED, it as ive said seems to be "sexy" for women to date younger women but not ok for men. The first older guy i was married to i was LEGAL 18, the secound time i married i was about 20/21 but it wasn't like they chased me i chatted to THEM...!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

brat30 said:


> Like I said THE only reason we are being Judged is because he is a MAN. If this story was a older women she would be congradulated. Things are so "One sided" when it comes to things and very baswards.


Wrong. That's why Demi Moore got sh!t all the time for marrying someone so much younger. "He's too young." "What is she thinking?" "He must have mommy issues." And when they announced their divorce people said "See..she shoulda never married him...she was too old for him...etc."



brat30 said:


> Ive prove that society is still very CLOSE-MINDED, it as ive said seems to be "sexy" for women to date younger women but not ok for men.


Nope, again. It's more socially acceptable for men to date/be with younger women than vice versa. Women get labelled "cougars" etc.


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## brat30 (Dec 7, 2011)

Maybe but theirs tv shows like "Couger town" you dont see shows on older me unless its about an older men attacking a younger women or somthing perverted. Im happy with my husband i dont care about his age, again set this up for other couples who prefured the company of older men or younger women. Im sure Neither of them gave a crap what people thought either!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

brat30 said:


> Maybe but theirs tv shows like "Couger town" *you dont see shows on older me unless its about an older men attacking a younger women or somthing perverted. *


HUH?

Idk what shows you are watching but this is dead wrong.


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Brat(almost)30,

It seems as if you came here for affirmation of your own marriage yet the more you share, the less affirmation you are ultimately getting around here.

Married at 18, divorced, remarried by 21?, you've never had an opportunity to really grow on your own.

I am still perplexed on how two people with nearly nothing in common can go through life together...it would be difficult enough to do that with someone near one's age, but to do so with someone 23 years older, wow, I don't know how it is done.

Also, I will be interested to see what else you have to share...one does not come to a marriage forum because everything is perfect. Most all of us are here because there are issues in our marriage (my own included) that we need to either vent about or want to get feedback from others about.

So, what really brings you here? It is surely not to just say how great your marriage is to your 52 year old hubby.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Wajee said:


> Understanding is the major thing in relationship ..I think Age gap does not matters a lot.There should be great understanding between you and your husband.Me and my husband's age difference is 8 years old..but we both are satisfy from each other!


This is true to a limited extent. Understanding takes shared values, and compatible backgrounds. I doubt if a two generation gap in age can be breached with understanding. Moreover, people change so much from late teen years to 25 yrs that getting into a long term relationship with someone who is at a completely different stage in life is a recipe for unhappiness for the young one. They usually start waking up when they are 26 and realize that they missed a whole stage in their lives and the a man 20 yrs older may not suit them now. 

Maybe that is what is dawning on this young woman. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

I agree with Catherine. But, I would add that the older person oftenwakes up, too, and realizes just how lonely life can be with a super good looking , younger person with whom he or she has nothing in common.
It all sounds good at first- 44 year old guy, still healthy and in good shape, making good $$ and a 27 year old super model type. But, try living it. It is a nightmare, sometimes. And, it might get worse as the guy ages and the woman's natural sex drive ramps up in her late 30s.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

CalifGuy said:


> I prefer Cialis...when that goes generic, I am never going to leave the house and the only time my hand will not have a death grip on my fortified wood is when my wife needs to borrow it!!! ;-)
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


well it's still good news even though Cialis isn't generic until 2018, since Viagra will be generic more doctors will proscribe it to help patients financially, as a result Cialis and Levitra (generic 2017) will drop their prices in order to regain some of the lost market share


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> well it's still good news even though Cialis isn't generic until 2018, since Viagra will be generic more doctors will proscribe it to help patients financially, as a result Cialis and Levitra (generic 2017) will drop their prices in order to regain some of the lost market share


Very cool...I would imagine this would cut the price significantly...generic Viagra will probably be going for a couple bucks a pop, so maybe that will drop real Viagra to $3 a pop and Cialis/Levitra to $4 a pop.

I will be a ripe old 48 years old when Cialis goes generic and more in need of it than I am now...only took Cialis in the past mostly when my DW and I were in the lifestyle (swinging) and the pressure was increased to perform. Viagra has never really worked well for me, although, I guess the only couple times I took it were at lifestyle parties to combat the negative effects of ecstasy but the ecstasy seemed to win and despite feeling great from the ecstasy, my penis was not able to follow suit.


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> well it's still good news even though Cialis isn't generic until 2018, since Viagra will be generic more doctors will proscribe it to help patients financially, as a result Cialis and Levitra (generic 2017) will drop their prices in order to regain some of the lost market share


You've given this some thought. Almost. I like that. :smthumbup:


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

CalifGuy said:


> Very cool...I would imagine this would cut the price significantly...generic Viagra will probably be going for a couple bucks a pop, so maybe that will drop real Viagra to $3 a pop and Cialis/Levitra to $4 a pop.
> 
> I will be a ripe old 48 years old when Cialis goes generic and more in need of it than I am now...only took Cialis in the past mostly when my DW and I were in the lifestyle (swinging) and the pressure was increased to perform. Viagra has never really worked well for me, although, I guess the only couple times I took it were at lifestyle parties to combat the negative effects of ecstasy but the ecstasy seemed to win and despite feeling great from the ecstasy, my penis was not able to follow suit.


You are an extremely honest guy, Calif. You sound very well adjusted. I will try the Cialis.:smthumbup:


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Arnold said:


> You've given this some thought. Almost. I like that. :smthumbup:



My interest is driven by my hatred of drug company policies than ED as I have yet to experience problems
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Arnold said:


> You are an extremely honest guy, Calif. You sound very well adjusted. I will try the Cialis.:smthumbup:


I have been told I have no "filter." 

Having no filter gets me into trouble more than it seems to help me, though!


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## Arnold (Oct 25, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> My interest is driven by my hatred of drug company policies than ED as I have yet to experience problems
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hatred of drug companies has been found to be a major cause of ED, Almost. Be careful.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
> 
> So what is the problem. Every thing sounds peachy. Is the post to encourage other 20 yr old women to pursue old men? You are happy with a man with no shared interest, what do you talk about? Do you hang out with his older friends or does he hang with the young crowd? Must be very strange socially. You must be bored senseless!
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree:

This is why my husband is 8 years my senior, not 20+ years.

Older women are congratulated for dating younger men? Brat30, you seem very naive and misinformed. It doesn't surprise me since you have been married to daddy types for your adult life.

Jellybeans, Ashton cheated with young blondes while he was married. He clearly was not mature enough for the commitment.


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## MEM7 (Jan 2, 2012)

Arnold said:


> I agree with Catherine. But, I would add that the older person oftenwakes up, too, and realizes just how lonely life can be with a super good looking , younger person with whom he or she has nothing in common.
> It all sounds good at first- 44 year old guy, still healthy and in good shape, making good $$ and a 27 year old super model type. But, try living it. It is a nightmare, sometimes. And, it might get worse as the guy ages and the woman's natural sex drive ramps up in her late 30s.


What is all this crap about the woman's sex drive ramping up after age 30? 

Very often it's the opposite. The woman often loses all interest in sex as she ages. That's why there are so many divorces in my opinion...


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## MEM7 (Jan 2, 2012)

My grandmother married a guy 20 years YOUNGER than her after her first husband died. They were together for decades, very happy, until he died. She died shortly thereafter, of a broken heart I think.


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## Ifeelstuck (Jan 10, 2012)

MY husband is 8 years older than me and I am starting to have regrets. His libido is gone. NOTHING!! No touching, cuddling, kissing, nothing. Its been 2 years now. I still love him but not in the same way. Its more like intense friendship. I don't even want him to touch me now. My desire for him is now gone. You can only get rejected for so long before you quit trying.


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## MEM7 (Jan 2, 2012)

It doesn't sound to me like it's even intense friendship.
More like a couple of people living together and just tolerating each other.

Are you sure his libido is gone? Could it be anything else? Just asking because there could be something deeper going on. I could be completely wrong too of course. Maybe it is his libido.
Either way, it's not good for the relationship. Even if he had no libido left, he should be trying to please you if he loves you.


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