# Dating again



## m.t.t (Oct 5, 2016)

Hi, I’ve known that I’m Pansexual since I was in my early 20s I’m now mid-40s. I’m attracted to a person and their gender doesn’t matter to me. I’m not drawn to many people. I haven’t had a relationship with another woman since I was in my early 20s. I’ve been married for nearly 20 years.


I have been divorced for a couple of years now and I met a woman who is very interested in me as I am in her. The thing is we have only been on one date and we are both wanting a second but I’m not used to the romantic and enthusiastic talk. She texts that she can’t wait to hold my hand next time. She is very excited about the potential of us. I’m used to men being more low key and I can’t t imagine a man saying he can’t wait to hold my hand etc. I know women are generally more expressive, but I’m not sure if the same rules of dating apply when you place them against a woman?


She is texting me a lot, she is excited. I’m a bit more reserved and waiting to see what happens but she is already talking about if we go on a 3rd date when we are only going on our second this weekend.


I have realized in the last couple of years that I’m not really romantic, and I am more reserved and less expressive with my feelings, either with a man or a woman.


This woman and I have so much in common, I feel happy in her company, she is very thoughtful and funny and beautiful. It will take me a few dates to work out how I feel about her as this is how I work. It’s not only about looks but an emotional connection that I need.


So do the same dating rules apply? Should I be wary of someone that is openly expressive of how keen they are to date me? If it was a man I would think he was playing me for sex. This I don’t think is the case here. I think she is just really romantic and getting a bit ahead of herself. I’ve told her I want to take it slow and just get to know her but she hinted that she wanted to know what it was like to kiss me. She has told me she had fantasized about us moving in together etc. She seems to be getting very ahead of herself and I found out that I'm the first person she has dated since the relationship ended. As I'm getting to know her I'm finding a lot of her conversation is still focussed on what her ex-husband has done and said which to me tells me she is still way at the start of things and isn't really as ready as she thinks she might be.

Do I bow out of this? I have only just found out that she still has to settle on the house. I like her a lot but I don't think I'm up for the upheaval of dating someone who isn't really all finished with things. One thing that did alarm me on our last date was she said that she 'always wants things more if she can't have them' in reference to dating.



Does anyone have any thoughts?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

The problem with someone like her is she’s likely to lost interest in you just as quickly as she fell for you. 
Take everything at whatever pace *you’re *comfortable with. If she pushes too hard then just leave. 
You are not under any obligation to live your life dancing to someone else’s tune.


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## m.t.t (Oct 5, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> The problem with someone like her is she’s likely to lost interest in you just as quickly as she fell for you.
> Take everything at whatever pace *you’re *comfortable with. If she pushes too hard then just leave.
> You are not under any obligation to live your life dancing to someone else’s tune.


Well, you were right Andy, she just sent a text to say that she is needing space. I am part relieved and part sad.

I couldn't bring myself to kiss her after 4 dates. I loved her company but I didn't feel the sexual chemistry but I thought maybe I was just awkward with her. Dating is so confusing.


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