# Second chance



## Becca28

Hello everyone becca here
I guess sometimes when you cant find answers anywhere you need to ask around.so why not at this forum. 
Well as you have already noticed by the title of the post 'second chance' so yes it is my second time in marriage
Before i tell you what worries me let me do tell you a lil bit about my ex.i thought i loved him a lot but unfortunately as it says in marriage u need to work to build love.we had lots of arguments to as big as how many kids to as little as what i should not wear.well my ex even was of a jerk that i want a baby boy not girl like seriously even in this century anyway he was very stingy too about money.always wanted me to pay for all things.sometimes talking to him was like talking to a wall.once after 2 months of marriage we made a trip to a lake to spend some time together at that point i realized how disconnected we were.i would always hold his hand he never held mine.i would initiate a conversation he would not.if i told him a story about anything he would b lost in some thoughts and would respond with one word answers.sometime i use to think may b there was something wrong with me.so after 6 months of nothing in btw us i suggested marriage counselling he laughed at me saying what can they do and said i must b joking anyway after 8 months he divorced me.yes he did i did not i still wanted it to work...now it has been 3 yrs.i got really busy with work.so busy that i forgot what love was.as i was hurt soooo much i startef to disbelieve in anything as true love.so anyway just few months back almost 6 it has been my friend suggested this guy.we went out i had a really good time.i started liking him a lot.he would always listen would joke around make me laugh.open even the car door for me hehe bought flowers everytime we met.would always pay for lunches dinner even though i said i would he would said noway m i letting you.we are engaged and now u r my responsibility.he did all these lil things and seriously i dont care how rich or poor he is but he is so affectionate.now in about a month we planned to get married but as the time is getting near i m getting all sort of bad feelings and jitters that what if it does not work out again&#55357;&#56848;.feeling so distressed anxious.everything is done the wedding dress reception location invitations have already been send...is it okay of what i am feeling..whay should i do about these feelings..m i worrying too much..plz help 
Thankyou and sorry the post is just to big i know


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## Andy1001

Your post is a wall of text,try using paragraphs, and capital letters at the start of every sentence.
What are you think of marrying a guy you only know about six months.You should date for at least two years before you consider marrying someone.
How long did you date your husband before you married him?


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## Becca28

Andy1001 said:


> Your post is a wall of text,try using paragraphs, and capital letters at the start of every sentence.
> What are you think of marrying a guy you only know about six months.You should date for at least two years before you consider marrying someone.
> How long did you date your husband before you married him?



Sorry about the long post andy..i know 6 months is short time.it was entirely my choice no one forced me into marriage.

But i just want to know if my pre marriage anxiety is normal..

I sometime feel i wall off my feelings from my fiance and even though he would love to listen to me that what he says
I still dont tell him' i am feeling all this'.

may b guys take it all negative.may b from my past experience..

Anyway about my first husband just dont ask i had known him for 2 yrs and what went wrong in his mind about me i dont know.all was beautiful before settling down

My pre marraige feeling in first marrage was like awesome i was over the moon.and now i feel sooo worried anxious not about him bit about i hope it works i really do want to settle down now make a home


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## StarFires

You don't know this guy, so your fears that it might not work out are not what you should be worried about. You should be worried that you are jumping into this marriage with a man you barely know.


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## Steve2.0

Difficult to read and difficult to understand.

Marriage jitters are normal... but 6 months is also very short time. Its not until the 3-4 month that you start to see peoples true colors... so you are most likely just scratching the surface of who he really is... although that doesnt mean he isnt the perfect guy for you either.


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## TJW

And, if he is the perfect guy for you, waiting for marriage and learning about each other won't be a problem, because the "perfect" guy will consider if he will meet your needs in the future marriage paramountly important.


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