# Can marriages overcome trust issues



## Dawns (Feb 25, 2017)

Last summer, I found a text on my husband's phone where he was making plans to meet someone the next day while me and the kids were out. I flipped and spent the next two weeks arguing with him. He gave me a story about who this person was, but I know he was not 100% truthful. While we were trying to work things out, I found out he was messaging with an old high school friend and she was encouraging him to leave me stating that marriages never get better and she has been planning for years to leave her husband. He told her he was disinterested in his marriage. When I confronted him he said he was just in a bad place because of how bad things were between us, but I don't think he ever understood how much he hurt me. Which led us to another argument and weeks of chaos in our home. 

At that time, I was ready to end the marriage..but his doctor convinced me to try marriage counselling. We had three sessions scheduled, two we went to together and the third one, he chose not to come to. We had argued that morning and he decided he did not want to go. I went by myself, and I remember sitting there and thinking how low could my marriage sink, I was literally sitting in marriage counselling by myself. I did not speak with my husband for several days. I find that I am so angry and hurt that I am lashing out alot and throwing everything thing that my husband has ever done wrong in his face...and in the 17 years of marriage he has given me alot of material. 

We can usually get through a couple of weeks without fighting but then we do and the fight last for 2 weeks...simple things turn into big things! 

I am struggling with trusting my husband...I question whether he wants to be a faithful loving husband or if he just stays cause he has nowhere else to go. I find texting apps on his phone and couple that with the fact that he always has his phone close by, makes me feel like he is up to something...am I being paranoid or am I just stupid thinking that he is being faithful. Anytime, I try to talk about this stuff it turns into a fight and now, I just sit here and have the thoughts in my head...they are the same thoughts that keep me up at night.

The way I see things now, is I do not trust him and he says he does not trust me cause of how I throw things in his face from the past and make him feel like a terrible person. 

So -- honestly, can trust be rebuilt? Does the hurting ever stop?


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