# What do you wish you knew before getting married?



## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

I'll start.
I wish I knew what a emotional affair was. What seemingly might have been an innocent friendship before marriage could turn into perfect soil for an affair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

I wish I had known that my bride to be did not love me... I don't even think she liked me.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

hambone said:


> I wish I had known that my bride to be did not love me... I don't even think she liked me.


Get out of my head. This feels so like me!!!


I wish I had known the whole truth of our past together as she saw it!

We attended a pre-marriage seminar weekend (required by our church for marriage) and she has finally said that she wasn't truthful in what we were supposed to be revealing as she thought some things were more pertinent to tell than others, so she only revealed the truths she wanted to deal with, and not all truths like we were supposed to (and other couples did).


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## NeverMore (Feb 24, 2013)

Wish I knew then how to spot a narcissist, would have saved me a lot of trouble.


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## Rugs (Apr 12, 2013)

Gee, that I would be marrying a self-absorbed, lying sack of Sh!t.

Yep, woulda helped.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I wish I would have listened to the voice that was hesitating about getting married in my mind more.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

I wish I knew my WW was like the Shingles Virus, just laying dormant so she could make my life a living hell when I turned 50.


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

I wish I knew my wife's true character.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

.....that an incredibly beautiful woman ....can do something as ugly as cheat.


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## MovingAhead (Dec 27, 2012)

Nothing. My wife cheated and yes I really don't want to ever speak to her again, but if I didn't get married, then I wouldn't have my three wonderful kids so yes the pain is worth it.

Going through the pain also made me a much better man. I don't wish to change the past, I choose to change me and have a better future and present.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

That the abuse would never stop until I left.


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## Harken Banks (Jun 12, 2012)

Oh, there's a lot. We were both pretty immature emotionally I think when we got married. Probably me more than her. I wish we knew that we would have to take care of each other and the marriage. Beyond simply providing financially, buying the groceries, making dinner, changing diapers, driving to daycare and school and so on. We exhausted ourselves in these routines without really taking care of each other. I guess my naïve view was that our commitment was made on the day we exchanged vows. The reality is that that is just the beginning. I don't think either of learned much about that kind of commitment until we started caring for our children, and then it was practiced only towards them and not towards each other. When I was first trying to make sense of my wife's affair, a good friend of mine told me about the pre-marital counseling he and his wife went through with a pastor just before they got married (young, in their early 20s). They were advised to surround themselves with friends of the marriage. People who supported and strengthened their commitment to each other. From what I can see, they seem to have a great marriage now 20 years on.


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

I just wish I didn't feel the hurt from time to time. Knowing this person more, than I did later, would have saved me a lot of heartache. Oh well.


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

I wish I had known that the games you have to play when dating dont stop once your married.

I wished I had known my wife was a weak and selfish person.

I wish I would have stopped myself from getting married in the first place.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

I wish I had already been cheated on before by someone I didn't love deeply so I would know what to look for, what to expect, what my boundaries would be. 

I wish I knew the real balance which must be struck between having 'family love' and 'spiritual love' 'romantic love'. Like the above poster said, we must continue to seduce and romance each other and not get complacent.

I wish I the knew the importance of FOO issues.

I wish I had not ever held back from what I needed. 

MMSLP.


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## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

Had I known that he would cheat on me, I wouldn't have married him. Of course, it's a simple, logical answer but other than that there was really nothing to know. I married a great man who, at one point, allowed himself to make a few terrible choices that ulimately doomed our marriage.


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## Ceegee (Sep 9, 2012)

I wish I knew that wedding cake decreases a woman's sex drive.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

Ceegee that was hilarious. Thanks for the morning giggle


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

That it is really good to be married a few years before you have kids. I love my daughter very much, but she was born 11 mos. after we got married, and it would have been very special just to be a couple a bit longer before starting a family.

But really, how can I complain? She is such a blessing to us.


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## distraughtfromtexas (Apr 25, 2013)

That my husband was merely courting me, he wasn't actually a selfless guy as he acted. He's actually quite self involved and doesn't care about anyone as much as he cares about himself and his own selfish desires.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

I would have to write a book to answer this one!


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