# LD Wife Truly Turned On by Alpha Male



## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

WOW, Oh, WOW,...... that "Alpha" male sh1t really works!!!! 

I am sharing what just happened to me last night because my wife initiated the best damn sex episode we have had in years.  A break-thru and success story!!! 
(And that is saying something since most regulars here on TAM know my wife of 28 years has been LD for over the past 5-6 years with our sexual encounters averaging once a month.)

Here's what happened.
My wife convinced me to attend an outdoor religious event/gathering of hers in a nearby city this past evening. 
There were hundreds of people in attendance, from devout followers, to non-members who just like attending the free event. 
However, there was a handful of protestors handing out anti-religious material on the sidewalk near the event. As I walked by one of these men, he shouted right in my ear that I was a member of a false religion and was going to hell. 

It hurt my eardrum he was so close, and quite frankly, I don't care for my wife's religious stuff, but what this guy did was plain wrong. 
I turned to him and sternly told him to "Pipe down, I don't appreciate you screaming in my ear!" 

As my wife and I kept walking toward the event, the a$$hole shouted to my wife, "Hey honey, why don't you go back to your kitchen, and while you are there make me a sandwich!" 

That was all I could take, I stopped dead in my tracks and began briskly walking back to the protesting a$$hole. He could tell that I was really pissed off, and started back-pedaling a bit into the street. 
Several security people caught my arms, but I pulled free of them and continued toward the street. As I got closer, he put his hands out in front of him to brace for the possible pounding he was in desperate need of. 
By this time, two nearby police officers stepped in front of me and caught me by the arm and swung me back around. I informed the officers I didn't appreciate insults being yelled at my wife and I during our simple evening out. They understood and told me they were just keeping the peace. (Some peace, huh?)
They told me they would keep an eye on the a$$shole in question and ask him to tone it down, blah, blah, blah, blah.... 

After I was released by the officers, and I returned to my wife, I could immediately tell a difference in her. She clung to my side, with her arms around me. _That hasn't happened in a long time._
The rest of the evening she was nearly sitting in my lap, and never let go of my left arm. _That hasn't happened in a long time either._

She kept talking about the "incident" and wanted to know what I was going to do if the police weren't there. I told her, that all I wanted to do was just talk to the guy, and with a mix of admiration and amazement she said, "You didn't look like you were going to talk to the guy." 

I got more attention from her the rest of the evening, during the ride home, and boy oh, boy, when we got home, than ever before. 

After this protestor incident, and all my wife's intimate and sexual attention that I generously received, I could only think that unleashing the ALPHA MALE in that circumstance is what my wife was responding too.

And it paid off, BIG TIME!!!!
Now I just need to go out and fight someone every weekend to turn my wife on. 

Question: What would you do in that situation, or want your husband/boyfriend in that situation to do? Be the Alpha male and confront, or, Ignore the taunts and walk away? 

Maybe it was all the pent-up sexual frustration and the protestor's obvious lack of respect for me as a man escorting my wife that pushed me over the edge, but something inside me just snapped, and I couldn't take it anymore.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

How much did you pay your friend for the "sexist abuse"?


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

I like the cut of your jib, might give that a try. I was thinking I could hire an attractive female to lavish me with praise on our next night out - comparing me to someone like Clooney or Brad Pitt and also have her compliment my sartorial elegance - she could finish by whispering to my WS - something like "gee honey, what a catch! don't throw him back" then she could turn to me and say "Here's my number, if things don'e work out...."


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Batman4691 said:


> WOW, Oh, WOW;-),...... that "Alpha" male sh1t really works!!!!
> 
> I am sharing what just happened to me last night because my wife initiated the best damn sex episode we have had in years.  A break-thru and success story!!!
> (And that is saying something since most regulars here on TAM know my wife of 28 years has been LD for over the past 5-6 years with our sexual encounters averaging once a month.)
> ...


Yeah, the alpha male stuff does work! ;-) We say we want you to be Mr. Sensitive and everything...but.... just kidding glad it worked for you....try a little more alpha in your day to day....make more of the decisions...take charge a little more...see if she responds to you better. Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soulsearch (Aug 2, 2013)

I think that would make me more frustrated than ever. To have someone play mental games with you is not fun.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My husband would have confronted but I should mention he's a cop.

And yes the alpha stuff does work.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Batman4691 said:


> WOW, Oh, WOW,...... that "Alpha" male sh1t really works!!!!
> 
> After this protestor incident, and all my wife's intimate and sexual attention that I generously received, I could only think that unleashing the ALPHA MALE in that circumstance is what my wife was responding too.
> 
> ...


Batman, let me ask you a question:

What would you have done if the guy had physically touch your wife? Because this happen to me right in front of my H.

But to answer your question we all know politically correct is to walk away. But for me if to be honest here, if there is a protective response, it surely do up your rank in that woman eyes.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Yh i'm not gonna lie that would get me hot under the collar lol


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

awsome. I need to go pick a fight. Hope I dont get my azz kicked. But seriously well done sir. You had your wifes back and she knew it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

Thound said:


> awsome. I need to go pick a fight. Hope I dont get my azz kicked. But seriously well done sir. *You had your wifes back and she knew it.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


To me, that's the turn on, not that he was mucho for wanting to fight the guy.
Knowing that your man is willing to fight for your "honor" is more likely to elicit a positive response than the potential of a fight. 
Even if it was nothing more than my husband standing up for me to a family member, knowing that he's willing to go to bat for me would cause me to more than willingly show him exactly how much I appreciated it.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

I would have borrowed the mace spray from my college age daughter and maced the dude... But I doubt I'd earn any Alpha points 

Besides, if the quoted material is all the protestor said and I had decked the guy, I doubt any judge would have found it offensive enough to be worthy of punches, but that's just me. As a visibly hyphenated American married to an equally visible hyphenated American, and midwest resident for three decades, I have heard a lot worse than that, as have my non hyphenated daughters...


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

john117 said:


> I would have borrowed the mace spray from my college age daughter and maced the dude... But I doubt I'd earn any Alpha points
> 
> *Besides, if the quoted material is all the protestor said and I had decked the guy, I doubt any judge would have found it offensive enough to be worthy of punches, but that's just me. As a visibly hyphenated American married to an equally visible hyphenated American, and midwest resident for three decades, I have heard a lot worse than that, as have my non hyphenated daughters...*


But that's not really the point, is it? Your response, though PC, is very beta.

LOL, just kidding ...


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## pink_lady (Dec 1, 2012)

Yes, hetero women are hard-wired to respond sexually to strong, protective, take charge men! Well done!


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Batman,

I am sorry but I am just chuckling. You will have to keep coming to our religious (yes I know exactly what religion you are talking about) events that evoke such strong emotions from the rabid "christians". 

Anything we can to to help a brother out.


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

Nothing turns a woman on like a good alpha showing. I started training in Muay Thai (like kickboxing) for a couple of months ago and while my W isn't LD she has definitely responded to it. She sometimes comes to watch me train and occasionally can't wait until we get home.



committed4ever said:


> What would you have done if the guy had physically touch your wife? Because this happen to me right in front of my H.
> 
> But to answer your question we all know politically correct is to walk away. But for me if to be honest here, if there is a protective response, it surely do up your rank in that woman eyes.


Wow that is so disrespectful to both of you. If that was us I probably would've broken dude's jaw at the very least.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Refuse to be played said:


> Nothing turns a woman on like a good alpha showing. I started training in Muay Thai (like kickboxing) for a couple of months ago and while my W isn't LD she has definitely responded to it. She sometimes comes to watch me train and occasionally can't wait until we get home.
> 
> 
> 
> Wow that is so disrespectful to both of you. If that was us I probably would've broken dude's jaw at the very least.


yeah, and get thrown behind bars for violent conduct... and what's gonna happen to the wife who was earlier in awe with ur alpha-male courage?


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## Refuse to be played (Jun 7, 2013)

malmale said:


> yeah, and get thrown behind bars for violent conduct... and what's gonna happen to the wife who was earlier in awe with ur alpha-male courage?


I've done worse to be honest.  Back in college she went to a party I couldn't make it to and some d-bag slip a roofie in her drink but was stopped before he could do anything. I found him the next day and beat the s### out of him in the middle of campus. 

She married me a few years after that so I guess I'd be okay. Plus we don't have kids yet, not like I gotta set a good example for anyone yet.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

hahaha
I know the adrenalin rush beating up dirt-bags... then again, for sake of this discussion, we leave out such aggression yeah?

bottom-line, u wont want ur now highly-turned-on partner to see u behind the cell? or worst relieve herself via another hunk when u r doing time!haha


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Batman, let me ask you a question:
> 
> What would you have done if the guy had physically touch your wife? Because this happen to me right in front of my H.
> 
> But to answer your question we all know politically correct is to walk away. But for me if to be honest here, if there is a protective response, it surely do up your rank in that woman eyes.


I will answer your question, but what did your H do when you were physically touched?

I have to say if someone had intentionally touched or grabbed my wife, (or daughter), at any public event the former Doorman/Bouncer would have been unleashed in me and that person would have been prostrate in the street. If that meant an assault charge or jail on my part, I think I could fairly articulate in court my actions as a husband and father. I could live with a day or two in jail and a fine. I'm retired but what the heck, but what a great family story to live with later. 

However in this circumstance, with just the verbal taunting and insults, I think I was just pushing back at the coward who was trying to bully us. I think he thought that these meek religious people walking by would just sit back and take it. Which I suppose is the PC thing to do, but I am not one of those meek religious persons. I'm more of a "What would've John Wayne done?" kind of man.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Batman4691 said:


> I will answer your question, but what did your H do when you were physically touched?
> 
> I have to say if someone had intentionally touched or grabbed my wife, (or daughter), at any public event the former Doorman/Bouncer would have been unleashed in me and that person would have been prostrate in the street. If that meant an assault charge or jail on my part, I think I could fairly articulate in court my actions as a husband and father. I could live with a day or two in jail and a fine. I'm retired but what the heck, but what a great family story to live with later.
> 
> However in this circumstance, with just the verbal taunting and insults, I think I was just pushing back at the coward who was trying to bully us. I think he thought that these meek religious people walking by would just sit back and take it. Which I suppose is the PC thing to do, but I am not one of those meek religious persons. I'm more of a "What would've John Wayne done?" kind of man.


but but
what if, just what if...

one fine day both you and wife are in the club, maybe strutting a move or 2 on the dance floor, a guy cuts in and started dancing with her, he places his hands on her butt in a close/intimate embrace, and ur wife seems to enjoy and having a good time dancing with him?

your thoughts, Sir?


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

RClawson said:


> Batman,
> 
> I am sorry but I am just chuckling. You will have to keep coming to our religious (yes I know exactly what religion you are talking about) events that evoke such strong emotions from the rabid "christians".
> 
> Anything we can to to help a brother out.


Sorry for the religious aside, but,....

I use to come more often to your outdoor events, and my wife even had me volunteering as security years ago, but things have gotten so much out of hand in the past 10 years and I don't remember so much vitriolic behavior being allowed to happen. 

I don't know why your security and the local police put up with such shouted insults and disorderly conduct.
I think ignoring the problem, just invites the bullies to push the envelope as far as they can. 

Much like the Westboro Baptist Church group that shouts insults at the grieving families trying to bury their fallen military loved ones, something needs to be done before there is a fight in the street.


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

malmale said:


> but but
> what if, just what if...
> 
> one fine day both you and wife are in the club, maybe strutting a move or 2 on the dance floor, a guy cuts in and started dancing with her, he places his hands on her butt in a close/intimate embrace, and ur wife seems to enjoy and having a good time dancing with him?
> ...


That's like saying what would be my reaction if I came home and found my wife in bed with another man? 

Your premise/scenario here is misplaced. My wife did not "enjoy" having sexist insults shouted at her by some stranger in the street.

What's your point?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Pishaw ... that alpha stuff is nothing but puffed up nonsense. 
Can't believe anyone would possibly think women actually go for that kind of thing.
:FIREdevil:


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

Deejo said:


> Pishaw ... that alpha stuff is nothing but puffed up nonsense.
> Can't believe anyone would possibly think women actually go for that kind of thing.
> :FIREdevil:


I think there have been several women on the thread that have said otherwise.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Batman4691 said:


> That's like saying what would be my reaction if I came home and found my wife in bed with another man?
> 
> Your premise/scenario here is misplaced. My wife did not "enjoy" having sexist insults shouted at her by some stranger in the street.
> 
> What's your point?


hey buddy, was in no way suggesting that your wife enjoyed the process.

I was just asking your views in the event if such a thing would ever happened, would you still go full John Wayne at the fella?

apologies if you have misinterpreted yeah...


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

malmale said:


> hey buddy, was in no way suggesting that your wife enjoyed the process.
> 
> I was just asking your views in the event if such a thing would ever happened, would you still go full John Wayne at the fella?
> 
> apologies if you have misinterpreted yeah...


I am 99.9999999999999999999999999999% sure that my wife would never respond that way to another man on the dance floor even if she was extremely drunk.

But, to answer your hypothetical scenario, (much like experiencing a bad dream), I would pull the guy off her, and body slam the douche bag into the clubs cheap seats, then turn to my wife and say, "What the f*ck?"


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Batman4691 said:


> I am 99.9999999999999999999999999999% sure that my wife would never respond that way to another man on the dance floor even if she was extremely drunk.
> 
> But, to answer your hypothetical scenario, (much like experiencing a bad dream), I would pull the guy off her, and body slam the douche bag into the clubs cheap seats, then turn to my wife and say, "What the f*ck?"


phew, glad to get this cleared, wouldn't want to cross ur path! :smthumbup:


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Batman4691 said:


> Sorry for the religious aside, but,....
> 
> 
> _I don't know why your security and the local police put up with such shouted insults and disorderly conduct.
> I think ignoring the problem, just invites the bullies to push the envelope as far as they can. _


because we know the end game and we find them harmless. It will get worse and we will do nothing. They are who they are. Anyway so much for this off topic stuff. I am glad you guys got your groove back.


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## ohno (Jul 11, 2013)

malmale said:


> hahaha
> I know the adrenalin rush beating up dirt-bags... then again, for sake of this discussion, we leave out such aggression yeah?
> 
> bottom-line, u wont want ur now highly-turned-on partner to see u behind the cell? or worst relieve herself via another hunk when u r doing time!haha


Some women demand full time alpha male and when he shrinks up she loses interest. As a contractor I had a client who wasn't paying and he had the legal end covered so I was pretty much screwed. It was a substantial amount to us. The final time I went to collect the debt and called my wife to tell her the bad news she said I better either get the money or call her from jail, otherwise don't come home or bother talking to her again. And she meant it. Suffice to say I got the money that day and didn't go to jail. Likewise any perceived or real threat to our family- I either have to bamf it or she loses interest quick.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

I don't know if I'd call your behavior "alpha", OP, because "alpha" implies leading a pack of followers. However, you stood up for yourself and your wife, demonstrated strength and a willingness to act on principles you held (innocent people gave the right to resist harassment), and showed her that she matters enough to you that you won't let people disrespect her. That was a moment of strength and agency. Most women find strength attractive.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Batman4691 said:


> I think there have been several women on the thread that have said otherwise.


I think Deejo is joking..being ironic. He's agreeing with you, not disagreeing with you.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Batman4691 said:


> I will answer your question, but what did your H do when you were physically touched?


Here is the short version. At an evenig event at his job reception for a big client . He introduce me to his supervisor who have had too much to drink. Supervisor response was to kiss me on the lips. H immediately says WTF! right hooks him which drop him to the floor. Someone call the police. Won't get into the police drama but both were going to be taken to jail before we both decide not to press charges me for sexual assault against his boss and his boss against my H for assault. 

Both lost their job. H got his back when he lawyered up


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

ohno said:


> Some women demand full time alpha male and when he shrinks up she loses interest. As a contractor I had a client who wasn't paying and he had the legal end covered so I was pretty much screwed. It was a substantial amount to us. The final time I went to collect the debt and called my wife to tell her the bad news she said I better either get the money or call her from jail, otherwise don't come home or bother talking to her again. And she meant it. Suffice to say I got the money that day and didn't go to jail. Likewise any perceived or real threat to our family- I either have to bamf it or she loses interest quick.


Your wife sounds like mine. People think that I wear the pants because my wife is a SAHM. The truth is that I would not be successful if it weren't for her. Everything I've done business wise has been because she pushed me to do it. I do what I do so I can bring it home to mama. 

The whole Alpha thing works pretty well if you're a man in position of power too. My wife seems to get something sexual out of observing my staff call me "boss". When she see's how people treat me at company gatherings she literally can't wait to get home.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Here is the short version. At an evenig event at his job reception for a big client . He introduce me to his supervisor who have had too much to drink. Supervisor response was to kiss me on the lips. H immediately says WTF! right hooks him which drop him to the floor. Someone call the police. Won't get into the police drama but both were going to be taken to jail before we both decide not to press charges me for sexual assault against his boss and his boss against my H for assault.
> 
> Both lost their job. H got his back when he lawyered up


Supervisor thought he was obviously in a position of power and the alcohol allowed him to do an act he was imagining.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

I liked how the other had mentioned Muay Thai, and that the wife got turned on by that.

She's going to be turned on by feats of physical strength, power and mastery. A martial art is a great idea for your own self, but to also know it can give your wife that Alpha vision without having to street fight or play tough guy, when theres a whole bunch of repurcussions for that.... You can do it rather safely and responsibly.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

committed4ever said:


> But that's not really the point, is it? Your response, though PC, is very beta.
> 
> LOL, just kidding ...


Actually this is correct. What he did was a high level of Alpha and Beta combined. 

It is not just Alpha.

Think a fireman running into a burning building. That is very Alpha but the motivation is Beta.

It is a demonstration of a high value quality man. Alpha is weak. Beta is weak. The combination is strong.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Entropy3000 said:


> Actually this is correct. What he did was a high level of Alpha and Beta combined.
> 
> It is not just Alpha.
> 
> ...


Was thinking about it. If he could have talked the other guy down from a position of strength, knowing that if a physical altercation started that the other guy would be dismantled. If husband could have shown this, it is rather quite Alpha and requires no physical violence or loss of control...


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Entropy3000 said:


> Actually this is correct. What he did was a high level of Alpha and Beta combined.
> 
> It is not just Alpha.
> 
> ...


That's some really good stuff right there.

I never feel compelled to defend the label. I'm interested in the outcome.
In Batman's case, he had a great outcome by guarding his mate and her honor. Security is kind of a big deal for women. 

Defending the woman you love is visceral, primal.

Had a near incident with my girlfriend, after which she told me, "I can handle myself. Don't you ever get in a fight over me. I mean it."

I smiled, kissed her and said,"It isn't always just about you."

Pride, honor, and conduct _should_ be a big deal for men.

My suggestion? Keep trying to look for ways to demonstrate your high value. It certainly doesn't need to be about starting fights, but simply the way a husband conducts himself, more like a man and a partner worthy of admiration and respect then another child that gets reprimanded and ridiculed.

Know what the expectations are and exceed them. Do it at work. Do it at home. 

Glad you got laid and didn't have to get punched for it to happen.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

My husband does a lot of mate-guarding of me. I love every minute of it and yes it does turn me on.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

treyvion said:


> Was thinking about it. If he could have talked the other guy down from a position of strength, knowing that if a physical altercation started that the other guy would be dismantled. If husband could have shown this, it is rather quite Alpha and requires no physical violence or loss of control...


Violence does not mean loss of control if it is the appropriate response.

I am not saying it is the answer all of the time of course. But there are times it is the right response. In this case the response was the correct one. No one has the right to attack anyone verbally or physically when unprevoked.

Keep in mind I am ex military. There are worse things than conflict.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Deejo said:


> That's some really good stuff right there.
> 
> I never feel compelled to defend the label. I'm interested in the outcome.
> In Batman's case, he had a great outcome by guarding his mate and her honor. Security is kind of a big deal for women.
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

Deejo said:


> My suggestion? Keep trying to look for ways to demonstrate your high value. *It certainly doesn't need to be about starting fights, *but simply the way a husband conducts himself, more like a man and a partner worthy of admiration and respect then another child that gets reprimanded and ridiculed.


I wasn't starting a fight, I consider that I was just finishing one. 

The first blow was thrown by him when the a-hole screamed in my ear as I walked past him. I addressed him man to man and told him to "Pipe down" that I didn't appreciate being yelled at, especially at such close range. In essence, "turning the other cheek". 

That was when he turned his verbal assault on my wife. 
Well, obviously he didn't get the message and escalated his attack by making it personal by degrading my wife and at the same time making me the lesser man by ordering my wife around like she was his b*tch, and I was some cuckold.

I don't care about the venue it happened in. The fact is my family has the same right to on a public street and be free from molestation, intimidation and fear. The police certainly weren't looking out for our rights, so I felt compelled to stand up for my wife and I. I don't consider that being childish worthy of being reprimanded or ridicule.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

You're completely misreading me ... Hell I would have supported you had you decked him.

I'm saying that if you liked the outcome and response of your wife to that event, then look for other ways to elicit the same response. That's all.

You've never seen a wife talk to her husband like she's talking to one of the the kids? You think the guy in that kind of relationship is the object of his wife's sexual desire? I was saying don't go there, not that you are there.

Carry on. Hope things continue to move forward for the both of you.



Batman4691 said:


> I wasn't starting a fight, I consider that I was just finishing one.
> 
> The first blow was thrown by him when the a-hole screamed in my ear as I walked past him. I addressed him man to man and told him to "Pipe down" that I didn't appreciate being yelled at, especially at such close range. In essence, "turning the other cheek".
> 
> ...


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Just for the record, not all women are turned on by watching their mate pound -- or threaten to pound -- other people. Some of us are very turned off, and see this as it's own form of a-hole d-baggery.

It worked for OP. Hooray. Maybe that's what gets his wife going. But maybe it just worked then. Will it always?

Yes, there are worse things than conflict. But conflict doesn't always mean pounding someone. And violence as a first resort is a sign of someone who isn't able to take a measured view. 

I agree with michzz. There are crazies everywhere. To my mind it is not a sign of manliness to be wiling to pound them all. There are usually much better, savvier, and sexier ways of dealing with them, IMHO.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

always_alone said:


> Just for the record, not all women are turned on by watching their mate pound -- or threaten to pound -- other people. *Some of us are very turned off, and see this as it's own form of a-hole d-baggery*.
> 
> It worked for OP. Hooray. Maybe that's what gets his wife going. But maybe it just worked then. Will it always?
> 
> ...


I have a feeling you are in the minority on this one...consider the number of women who flock to the complete d-baggery men...and then get upset about it...

In the OP's case, I think this was a measured and appropriate response.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

always_alone said:


> Just for the record, not all women are turned on by watching their mate pound -- or threaten to pound -- other people. Some of us are very turned off, and see this as it's own form of a-hole d-baggery.
> 
> It worked for OP. Hooray. Maybe that's what gets his wife going. But maybe it just worked then. Will it always?
> 
> ...


Like I said no punches were being thrown. Our guy if he was confident in his strength, could've disarmed the subject without touching him.

Doing it this way shows a ton of controll, intelligence and confidence... Also the wife would've realize the husband doesn't have to hit the other guy, because if he does it would be over.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

So Always Alone 

if someone touch you physically in front of your H you would want him to do what - say "Don't ever do you again?" have the guy arrested maybe? That would actually be a choice you would have to make. But what is that "sexy" choice you speak of? 

I would think the first thing that would pop in any man head is to inflict some type of physical punishment right back unless he already knows internally that he is afraid of physical confrontation. (and it nothing wrong with that given the potential and real danger up to actual losing your life). In my H case he grew up in an environment where you better be ready to defend and protect or get your a** kick on the regular. 

I'm ask because when it happen to me I was very conflicted up to the point of fearing him being carried off to jail and have a record for the rest of his life. But I think I would have felt totally humiliation if he had let that man violate me and he did nothing but say "Don't do that again." in the end it didnt take back the incident but it sure help.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> So Always Alone
> 
> if someone touch you physically in front of your H you would want him to do what - say "Don't ever do you again?" have the guy arrested maybe? That would actually be a choice you would have to make. But what is that "sexy" choice you speak of?
> 
> I would think the first thing that would pop in any man head is to inflict some type of physical punishment right back unless he already knows internally that he is afraid of physical confrontation. (and it nothing wrong with that given the potential and real danger up to actual losing your life). In my H case he grew up in an environment where you better be ready to defend and protect or get your a** kick on the regular.


If someone strikes you, you defend yourself. Thing about altercations... Is your hubby might be able to physically beat the guy, but the guy or one of his friends could have a gun and the come back and shot him or both of you. 

There was a way to disarm someone without touching him. If you know you are that strong, you don't have to go around showing it. It would be very sexxy, if the wife realizes the husband was not scared one bit, and has no need to prove he can crush the guy.



committed4ever said:


> I'm ask because when it happen to me I was very conflicted up to the point of fearing him being carried off to jail and have a record for the rest of his life. But I think I would have felt totally humiliation if he had let that man violate me and he did nothing but say "Don't do that again." in the end it didnt take back the incident but it sure help.


The husband can make the guy apologize to the wife.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

treyvion said:


> The husband can make the guy apologize to the wife.





> There was a way to disarm someone without touching him. If you know you are that strong, you don't have to go around showing it. It would be very sexxy, if the wife realizes the husband was not scared one bit, and has no need to prove he can crush the guy.



Hmmm ... o-k-a-y...


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> So Always Alone
> 
> if someone touch you physically in front of your H you would want him to do what - say "Don't ever do you again?" have the guy arrested maybe? That would actually be a choice you would have to make. But what is that "sexy" choice you speak of?
> 
> I would think the first thing that would pop in any man head is to inflict some type of physical punishment right back


In your case, I'm more inclined to agree that your H's reaction was reasonable. Physical touching is much more aggressive, disrespectful, and worrisome than some stupid comment.

In OP's case, it was literally just a stupid comment about making a sandwich that set him off. I've seen men here on TAM make equally sexist and obnoxious comments, and they get barely a notice, and are even taken as immutable truths about women's roles.

That said, I'm still not too impressed by duking it out on the dance floor. Inappropriate touching is usually something I've had to deal with myself, but here are a few things I might appreciate from my SO:

Well-placed commentary that effectively puts the person in their place. Not just a weak "don't do this again", but clearly pointing out how much of a loser they are, and ensure that everyone nearby knows this.

Physical blocking, especially if it looks like humiliation won't be enough to get the other guy to back off.

As it was a boss, file a report and have him fired for bad behaviour. Make sure he knows why this is happening and who made it happen.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

treyvion said:


> The husband can make the guy apologize to the wife.


Yes. This is a nice touch But my preference would be that he do this by using his wit and his words, rather than, say, lifting him up by the collar and demanding that he apologize "or else"


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

always_alone said:


> Yes. This is a nice touch But my preference would be that he do this by using his wit and his words, rather than, say, lifting him up by the collar and demanding that he apologize "or else"


Well, a strong and powerful man doesn't need to show his strength and power in physical force. It could be that he really knows he doesn't need to use it, and has enough intelligence and wit to get the other guy to understand what he's dealing with...


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Hmmm ... o-k-a-y...


When I grew up, the strongest and most powerful did not have to fight much at all. They always had others attempting to "steal their throne", but they would back it down, knowing for a fact the other guy is outmatched and giving him chances to advert a terrible doom.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

committed4ever said:


> Batman, let me ask you a question:
> 
> What would you have done if the guy had physically touch your wife? Because this happen to me right in front of my H.
> 
> But to answer your question we all know politically correct is to walk away. But for me if to be honest here, if there is a protective response, it surely do up your rank in that woman eyes.


If someone touched my wife....yeah I would have to open up a can of "whoop arse"


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

treyvion said:


> When I grew up, the strongest and most powerful did not have to fight much at all. They always had others attempting to "steal their throne", but they would back it down, knowing for a fact the other guy is outmatched and giving him chances to advert a terrible doom.


clearly I'm not describing this situation on H's upbringing adequately because your response is cryptic to me. If someone attacking you "not having to fighti at all" will get you a beat down

Anyway H acted in this instance at this event impulsively in the heat of the moment although when we discussed it later he felt 9 times out of 10 he would do the same. This in response to me telling him my concern for the possibility he could have gone to jail. Although he didn’t know at that time he was getting fired which was much higher stakes.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> clearly I'm not describing this situation on H's upbringing adequately because your response is cryptic to me. If someone attacking you "not having to fighti at all" will get you a beat down
> 
> Anyway H acted in this instance at this event impulsively in the heat of the moment although when we discussed it later he felt 9 times out of 10 he would do the same. This in response to me telling him my concern for the possibility he could have gone to jail. Although he didn’t know at that time he was getting fired which was much higher stakes.


If some attacks you you have to defend yourself or get the hell out of there if you are out numbered. If you are outnumbered or out gunned and cornered, you have to defend yourself to the best of your ability.

I was saying if someone just says some stupid $hit being a pest... You can back them down or let them know they are dealing with alot without having to touch them.

Of course if someone attacks you or your wife, I would defend myself, incapacitate them, and also press charges...


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

There was an incident with my STBW...we were in a bar and there was an older guy there who took a liking to her. He really was harmless. Evn bought both of us drinks. I never left her side, and when we were getting ready to go, he wanted to touch her hair. She has absolutely gorgeous red hair. All it took was a look from me, and he backed down so fast...not even a word needed to be said.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I think it's great for OP that confronting the man turned on the wife enough to make her want sex.

I would have been dragging my partner away by the arm telling him to chill out and ignore the idiot.I used to get so angry at my ex when he'd behave like that over someone being rude.But then again,I hate drawing attention to myself in public and I become mortified when people stare so this is why I'd be the opposite of turned on.I'd be disgusted that he couldn't control himself in the face of ignorant pr*cks.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> But then again,I hate drawing attention to myself in public and I become mortified when people stare so this is why I'd be the opposite of turned on.I'd be disgusted that he couldn't control himself in the face of ignorant pr*cks.


Staring doesn't bug me too much. But I'm totally with you on the last part.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

michzz said:


> To my mind, especially with the context of it being at a Christian event, turning the cheek (Jesus's admonition in the Sermon on the Mount) seemed apt.
> 
> On the other hand, a punch in the mouth would have been really satisfying.
> 
> ...


It appears it was another religion and the Christian were doing the protest


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> There was an incident with my STBW...we were in a bar and there was an older guy there who took a liking to her. He really was harmless. Evn bought both of us drinks. I never left her side, and when we were getting ready to go, he wanted to touch her hair. She has absolutely gorgeous red hair. All it took was a look from me, and he backed down so fast...not even a word needed to be said.


As long as your wife sides with you and does not waver, the other will usually back down or back out. There is no forward progress to be made. It's called "triangulation" and it works.

If the wife is not really "with" you and leaving you on your own, she may have a body language which allows the other to continue on...

There is nothing to usually fear. The worst case is a scene were an idiot is appearing to harrass a husband and wife. It won't be supported.


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## loving1 (Aug 5, 2013)

I have to admit I like the alpha male stuff... who doesnt want a man ready to fight for her


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

always_alone said:


> Just for the record, not all women are turned on by watching their mate pound -- or threaten to pound -- other people. Some of us are very turned off, and see this as it's own form of a-hole d-baggery.
> 
> It worked for OP. Hooray. Maybe that's what gets his wife going. But maybe it just worked then. Will it always?
> 
> ...


I understand and appreciate all men are not going to react the same in a tense fight or flight situation, so maybe a little bit of my background will help you understand where I am coming from and reference my point of view.

I am a retired police officer with 22 years of service and experience behind me. During that time, I worked several years in patrol and the gang task force before being promoted to detective. 
Before that I worked as a doorman/bouncer at a downtown nightclub for 2 years while training as a competitive bodybuilder.

I have been in countless physical altercations, and have been shot at 4 times during my career. 
I have dealt with "crazies" before, and in my experience feel I am a good judge of people and their motivations for the way they act and the things they do. 

I have been trained in "verbal judo" and the "use of force continuum" and have used them thousands of times in tense situations to resolve a problem. 

Because of these life and career experiences, I am confident in my abilities, both physical and verbal to handle most any situation that is thrust upon me and my family.

Given that brief history, and the incident that occurred, I felt compelled to act, since the 2 small town police officers were obviously inexperienced and ill-trained to handle the disturbing behavior of the nut-job on the sidewalk.

I never said I went there looking to pick a fight, or even wished a fight would have happened. 
In my quickly stepping back to the man on the sidewalk, I felt confident that I could make him back down and did so by his reaction in backpedaling into the street with his arms up in a defensive position. 
Seeing his reaction, I would have probably just got in his face and left the impression of my index finger squarely on his chest. If he had been stupid enough to throw the first punch, I would have then been obliged in defending myself further. 

I worked 22 years to make the streets and my community a safer place for others to conduct themselves without having to feel threatened, or afraid to simply walk down the sidewalk without being insulted or intimidated. 
I didn't ignore the problem then and I'm certainly not going to ignore it now.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Batman4691 said:


> I understand and appreciate all men are not going to react the same in a tense fight or flight situation, so maybe a little bit of my background will help you understand where I am coming from and reference my point of view.
> 
> I am a retired police officer with 22 years of service and experience behind me. During that time, I worked several years in patrol and the gang task force before being promoted to detective.
> Before that I worked as a doorman/bouncer at a downtown nightclub for 2 years while training as a competitive bodybuilder.
> ...


Sounds good. So you escalated that situation perfectly and responsibly.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Batman4691 said:


> I am a retired police officer with 22 years of service and experience behind me. During that time, I worked several years in patrol and the gang task force before being promoted to detective.
> Before that I worked as a doorman/bouncer at a downtown nightclub for 2 years while training as a competitive bodybuilder.


Ah. Yes, this explains everything.

But let me share with you a story of a friend of mine. He's a a bit rough around the edges appearance-wise. Has a bit of the look of the biker, but isn't. Because of the way he looks, a lot of guys will pick fights with him. Don't know what they are trying to prove, exactly, but it's oddly common.

This guy, though, is a peaceful guy, and has zero interest in testosterone-fuelled tests of manliness. When these guys come up to him spoiling for a fight, he defuses. He doesn't back down, but he doesn't puff himself up either. He jokes, he talks rationally, he stays calm and friendly. If they toss a punch, he steps aside. By the end of the evening, these other guys are usually clapping him on the back and telling him what a great guy he is.

Now that's savvy and sexy, IMHO.

His wife is a black belt in karate, so she is not in need of protection, but he would for sure be there if she did. Neither one of them will ever throw a punch, though, unless absolutely necessary, and frankly, I don't think either one has. At least not in years and years. Certainly never over a stupid comment. Sticks and stones and all that.

Of course, neither one of them is in law enforcement or security, and so they only have themselves to look after. And since I wasn't at the event you describe, I have no real idea of how crazy the crazy was. Context is important.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

always_alone said:


> Ah. Yes, this explains everything.
> 
> But let me share with you a story of a friend of mine. He's a a bit rough around the edges appearance-wise. Has a bit of the look of the biker, but isn't. Because of the way he looks, a lot of guys will pick fights with him. Don't know what they are trying to prove, exactly, but it's oddly common.
> 
> ...


This DOES sound sexy. That settled it. I'm getting a black belt after I have the baby. My H don't look rough tho. He more like a street looking pretty boy. If he wasn't tall there would not nothing about him that look like he could kick a**. Maybe he could start wearing t shirts with the arms cut out to show his manly muscle....


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> This DOES sound sexy. That settled it. I'm getting a black belt after I have the baby. My H don't look rough tho. He more like a street looking pretty boy. If he wasn't tall there would not nothing about him that look like he could kick a**. Maybe he could start wearing t shirts with the arms cut out to show his manly muscle....


With everyone doing the ball headed tough guy, we need a few charming gents who know they can get it done but don't have to show it.

Guess I'm old school in that if you know you got it you don't have to show it...

I slang pipe not swing fists.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

treyvion said:


> With everyone doing the ball headed tough guy, we need a few charming gents who know they can get it done but don't have to show it.
> 
> Guess I'm old school in that if you know you got it you don't have to show it...
> 
> I slang pipe not swing fists.


Come on Trey. Try to keep up.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Come on Trey. Try to keep up.


Why try? Prefer to blaze my own trails.

ok ok ok. I better get back focused on what I should be doing.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> This DOES sound sexy. That settled it. I'm getting a black belt after I have the baby. My H don't look rough tho. He more like a street looking pretty boy. If he wasn't tall there would not nothing about him that look like he could kick a**. Maybe he could start wearing t shirts with the arms cut out to show his manly muscle....


I don't think it's how you look, but how you carry yourself.

If you look like you know what you're doing, and act like you know what you're doing, people will usually assume that you know what you're doing. Never once have I seen this friend use his physical presence to intimidate. He's always casual, calm, cool, and collected.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

always_alone said:


> I don't think it's how you look, but how you carry yourself.
> 
> If you look like you know what you're doing, and act like you know what you're doing, people will usually assume that you know what you're doing. Never once have I seen this friend use his physical presence to intimidate. He's always casual, calm, cool, and collected.


I was joking. Guess I have a horrible sense of humor!

And I don't want to give bad impression of my H either. He's not a bully and he do not have an explosive personality at all. He's really a pretty mild manner person who do not get loud or boisterous.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> I was joking. Guess I have a horrible sense of humor!


Wow. That did get me to laugh out loud tho. I hope all the TAM'ers are having plenty and frequent sex with their significant others!


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

committed4ever said:


> I was joking. Guess I have a horrible sense of humor!


Or I do, since i totally missed it.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Wow. That did get me to laugh out loud tho. I hope all the TAM'ers are having plenty and frequent sex with their significant others!


Was this really meant for my comment? 

Trey I must say you really one intriguing poster!


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Was this really meant for my comment?
> 
> Trey I must say you really one intriguing poster!


Ok, that got me to smile a little.


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

always_alone said:


> Of course, neither one of them is in law enforcement or security, and so they only have themselves to look after. And since I wasn't at the event you describe, I have no real idea of how crazy the crazy was. Context is important.


What would you do if you were walking down a busy city sidewalk and some stranger approached you, invaded your personal space and yelled directly in your ear, not feet away, but inches away? Then continued his verbal assault and antics on family members you were with, and then others passing by? 
Would you conclude that at some point someone would call the police to report the disturbing behavior with an expectation that the police would show up and do something about it? 

*You're absolutely right, context is important.* I thought I had described the situation as it happened, with an ineffective police presence allowing a nut-job to scream personal insults at people as they walked by on the sidewalk.

The problem was that since this was a "religious" event the nut-job thought he could get away with bullying the attendees as they walked past him since they would most assuredly, "turn the other cheek" and he could continue his behavior of insults and intimidation, as long as no one complained or forced the police to do something. 
Well, I was not one of the meek religious attendees that went there to hear an inspirational message. I was there being the "nice guy" and good husband by going there with my wife at her request for an evening out together.

That's beginning to become a big problem. More and more people are willing to look the other way, not get involved, turn the other cheek because they are afraid of stirring the pot and the bad actors and bullies out there know it and take full advantage when someone does just let it slide.

"_The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing_."


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

Batman4691 said:


> That's beginning to become a big problem. More and more people are willing to look the other way, not get involved, turn the other cheek because they are afraid of stirring the pot and the bad actors and bullies out there know it and take full advantage when someone does just let it slide.
> 
> "_The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing_."


Read the whole thread, thumbs up for standing up for your woman. In that situation, I think you were reasonable and measured. 

I'm 6'6", have various martial arts training in my background, and haven't been in but one real fight since I was in 5th grade (the real fight was when sister's ex-bf pulled a knife on me). People would toss crap at me BECAUSE I'm tall, but if it gets down to brass tacks, most don't push it. And I don't go walking around like "I'm the big guy, respect me." 

However, I don't like fighting. I don't even like watching boxing on TV or that other violent crap. About 10 years ago a guy accosted me in a residential alley (ex-W and I were out for a walk). He had a longneck beer bottle in his hand, which I view as a potentially deadly weapon. He was drunk and belligerent. It took me half an hour to talk him out of whatever mood he was in. I druther use words than fight, because I also know that deep within me is what I call "berserker mode" where if you punch me in the nose (don't know why my instincts react to nose punches), I will let loose all I have on you. It's controllable, but in the right situation, it WILL come out. At 55 years old, I can still put it out there if need be, but I'm far less reactive than when I was half this age.

So I'm all about talking my way out of it. But just because I do that, don't assume you can keep poking the bear. It's in there, as it is with any man with self respect, maturity and self control. It's not an alpha thing, in my opinion, it's a basic fight-or-flight thing. That extends to my wife and family.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Batman4691 said:


> What would you do if you were walking down a busy city sidewalk and some stranger approached you, invaded your personal space and yelled directly in your ear, not feet away, but inches away? Then continued his verbal assault and antics on family members you were with, and then others passing by?


I dunno. I've seen protests before, and isn't that what they're about? People yelling at each other? That's what I've seen, and as long as no one is actually beating on anyone or damaging property, the police just stand by and watch.

I get why you were upset. An assault on the ears like that can be extremely painful. People at rock concerts and sports events, for example, drive me insane with their screaming and especially the whistles. Gawd, I hate those whistles. And no one likes to be insulted.

Maybe what you did was the right thing to do at the time. I can't really judge when I wasn't even there. All I'm saying is that IMHO the escalation to violence or intimidation is not at all sexy to me. Possibly necessary at times, but not sexy.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

always_alone said:


> I dunno. I've seen protests before, and isn't that what they're about? People yelling at each other? That's what I've seen, and as long as no one is actually beating on anyone or damaging property, the police just stand by and watch.
> 
> I get why you were upset. An assault on the ears like that can be extremely painful. People at rock concerts and sports events, for example, drive me insane with their screaming and especially the whistles. Gawd, I hate those whistles. And no one likes to be insulted.
> 
> Maybe what you did was the right thing to do at the time. I can't really judge when I wasn't even there. All I'm saying is that IMHO the escalation to violence or intimidation is not at all sexy to me. Possibly necessary at times, but not sexy.


Usually its all a bunch of dumba$$ery. Mix a bar with alcohol flowing and you have a place where fights are going to happen, people are going to be cheated on, and people are going to be obtuse from time to time.

It's part of the environment.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

That you Batman on your profile page?

Oooh - you sexy thang! You don't need to worry about this alpa-beta stuff! :smthumbup:


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

always_alone said:


> I dunno. I've seen protests before, and isn't that what they're about? People yelling at each other? That's what I've seen, and as long as no one is actually beating on anyone or damaging property, the police just stand by and watch.


Maybe I wrongly labeled the 4 or 5 a-holes as "protestors". 

Think about it more like a religious group gathering peacefully for an outdoor concert with 4 or 5 anti-(_insert religion here_) haters handing out anti-religious literature and shouting at anyone going to the concert.

"People yelling at each other?" Not even close. You make it sound like we were crossing some labor union picket line. 
We were going to the park for a concert, not attending a political rally, and the only one's yelling were the haters. 

Maybe this link will help demonstrate a similar situation, albeit a different religion and it's a movie clip.
Them Ohio Amish - YouTube


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> That you Batman on your profile page?
> 
> Oooh - you sexy thang! You don't need to worry about this alpa-beta stuff! :smthumbup:


The avatar is a photo of me back in 1996 when I was working with the gang task force, and the profile photo is a more recent pic of me, long hair and all, during our 25th wedding anniversary cruise.

Committed4ever, thank you for the very kind comments. You just made my entire day!


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