# We Are Separated but, he's Hard to read. Please Help



## my_<3_Be_sure (Mar 1, 2010)

Alright My H and I have been Seprated for almost nine months Now. I have been here in Washington State the whole time durning the Seperation and he's been In Fort Richardson Ak he's in the( Army ) the reason for no Divorce Yet Is what he says is to wait for him to pay off his debt. He gets paid more for being married. He pays me each month.. so we both get something out of it . Okay so here's my thing... Him and I get along Real well. Whe he texts or calls it always goes well. We even Instant message Eachother now and again. 

About to months ago he went out of state for work but something happened to him medically wise and the army wanted him to leave and head back to Ak to get checked on and well geuss what?? he went out of his way to have a day Layover in washington!!! to see me!!! when he could have Just gone back to AK. so yeah he came here and we went out to eat.... AND of course had ALOT and I mean Alot of SEX =) sorry LOL .. Okay so that was amaZing!!! It was soo unreal he was here. I asked wh he was here and he said he wanted to have sex with me! he said he had no chance of getting back together..we had a good time together walked around the spaceneedle... he held my hand and was sweet and all this .. anyways to make along story short .. he came and left me here.... wow I was sooo broken! i watched my love leave me here! Was there a reason he came other then sex? We get along so well so whats wrong? he even texted me 2 days ago about missing sleeping with me and we text about old times with us having sex and Ect... he now is (seeing a girl) Idk what they are but, yeah but I miss him. Im glad the too of us are gettin along . I just don't know why we cant make this work if he still flirts and texts and all this .. iv even sent him nude pics to show him what hes missing and to get a reaction out of him and of course its always a good one. Idk WHATS going thro his head?? Does he miss me??? Could we work out? he says theres no Chance .. but, why do we get along soo much and why does he tell me he wishes i was there to sleep with him and he calls just to say (HI)???? HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!


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## my_<3_Be_sure (Mar 1, 2010)

So Igeuss this Subject isnt something someone wants to get into....


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## sue1168 (Feb 25, 2010)

I've been separated from my husband for two months. Right before he left on Dec. 22, we had sex the 3 nights before (Sat, Sun and Mon). I wondered how he could do that to me and then leave- then I remembered something he said the night he left: we had gotten into a big fight about me finding yet another texting conversation to another woman. I asked him how he could be texting her and having sex with me and he said, "I guess it's different for women. You (women) take it as something else. For guys it's different."

What I think he meant was that women (and I know I am guilty of this) equate sex with love. For me, and it sounds like you too, physical love is showing our H that we LOVE them. Men, this includes my H and probably yours, look at sex as something pleasurable and physical and not an emotional thing. I

I suggest you read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It's a very popular book and I think it will give you some insight on how your H views sex vs. how you do. You can also go to the website: Home - Five Love Languages and take their quiz to see what "love language" you and your H speak and I will bet anything they're totally different. 

Let me know how it works out for you. Good luck!


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## my_<3_Be_sure (Mar 1, 2010)

sue1168 said:


> I've been separated from my husband for two months. Right before he left on Dec. 22, we had sex the 3 nights before (Sat, Sun and Mon). I wondered how he could do that to me and then leave- then I remembered something he said the night he left: we had gotten into a big fight about me finding yet another texting conversation to another woman. I asked him how he could be texting her and having sex with me and he said, "I guess it's different for women. You (women) take it as something else. For guys it's different."
> 
> What I think he meant was that women (and I know I am guilty of this) equate sex with love. For me, and it sounds like you too, physical love is showing our H that we LOVE them. Men, this includes my H and probably yours, look at sex as something pleasurable and physical and not an emotional thing. I
> 
> ...


Five Love Languages.. yeah I read i months ago.. Yeah and at the moment my H is on the phone with me .. we are laughing and everything.. god hes so hard to read.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

you get along because you both like the way things are. the moment you start asking for him to be with you, asking who he's with, why he isnt home, maybe even demanding it, and he will stop calling you. He can have you, and other girls, and nobody gives him any hassle. He's happy with the arrangement. If he were to stay with you all the time, he would not be happy. that is why he doesnt do it. He likes coming and going as he pleases, calling you from a distance, and showing up for sex every so often. as long as you stay nice about this arrangement, he will stay happy.


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## my_<3_Be_sure (Mar 1, 2010)

so what am i to do???


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## Ash22 (Oct 21, 2009)

Let him go. It's hard but this is unhealthy for you.


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