# after play?



## Me'N'My'Girl (Jan 10, 2010)

my husband has the habit of getting up right after having sex.he would never stay and cuddle,kiss or even talk.i told him that its very important to me that he'd cuddle me after sex and he just says i like to shower straight after and then we could do whatever you want!.but its really not the same.it totally gets me out of the mood and really frustrates me.i told him its a major reason why i dont some to him for sex but he doesnt bother.and even if he does stay,i feel like he's dying to get up and it makes me so angry at him.

it seems like he's always in a hurry,what can i do to make him change ?


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## ophelan (Jan 20, 2010)

Is it just a cleanliness/messiness issue for him? I personally don't like to make a mess of our sheets and comforter, particularly if we're about to get to bed, but I also love snuggling up with my fiance (soon to be my wife in April!) before and after (hell, I love it even without sex).

So...one thing we've started doing is keeping an ample supply of washcloths (or, not to be crude, but we call them 'jizz rags') on our nightstands, along with lube, alarm clock, etc... Basically, the convenient lube is to let us get whatever started in the middle of the night if we so desire, and the washcloths make it easy to reach over and easily clean up while still snuggled up (keep a few on each nightstand, just to be safe...trying to reach all the way across a queen size, or heaven forbid a king can be damn near impossible). Anyway, just a suggestion. 

I'd also like to add that talking about what you both want from sex and other forms of intimacy is important. We've been going through some issues lately, and one of the things we've started doing is ensuring we get a good snuggle in every day. We also recently spent an evening discussing sex, which proved to be quite enlightening for both of us.


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## Choose2love (Jul 28, 2009)

Good ideas so he can clean up without getting out of bed...


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

I had this issue with my husband and it did infuriate me as well. 

I just talked to him about it in a very calm and reasonable way. I told him that I enjoyed making love to him, but when he got up right after the act it made me feel cheap and unloved. 

I made a deal with him that for everytime he wanted to get up right after, he would give me at least 10 minutes laying in the bed with me. He agreed.

Now he rarely gets up after sex and if he does he invites me to come along with him or says he will be right back. It is very reassuring.


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## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

Am the one that has to get up and clean up but hubby waits for me in bed and i will bring him a warm rag to wash off with till he goes for a shower then we snuggle. It doesn't bother either one of us as long as we both get the snuggle time in.


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## Alexandra (Jan 9, 2010)

I'm all for the go in the shower together option! And yes, being clean after can be a big part of his feelings. He may just really need that to feel comfortable.

All of that being said, could you validate those feelings and ask that you two try to come to a compromise? He gets to feel clean right afterwards and you get your cuddling? Be creative with the solutions


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## Me'N'My'Girl (Jan 10, 2010)

yep that a very good idea.i may try using those 'jizz rags' 
but i dont think his reason of getting up is just to clean up..what bothers me most is that after having sex he's so in a hurry to watch tv or to log on to the internet or even to sleep.i dont think its only the "being clean" issue here.i tried talking to him but he never gives me a straight forward answer.


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