# Fetish origin



## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

What is the origin of a fetish or a kink?
How does it happen that some people have them and others do not? I saw a police video where the arrested a man from Egypt who had written to a little girl of 13 asking if she could toilet on his face. He was only in his mid 20s at time of arrest. How on earth did it materialise in his head to want this? Could it be mental illnesses that we accept as harmless? Origins please?


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Good question MaiChi, the problem is that the origins of most fetishes and some kinks stems from an event(s) in an individual childhood even as little as 2 & 3 years old, for example someone who may have been put in restraints because a parent was tired of them wandering off, then cry until they were released by the other parent who then gives them a hug or a kiss, that child may associate eventually with bondage and release as a form of punishment and reward. the brain especially in the developing process of youth has a way to develop its own reward and punishment that from the outside view make little sense but to the owner of that fetish or kink is part of who they have become and may take a very long time to over ride it, if ever. We are in may ways a computer program that once our code is developed by the time we reach puberty is hard to undo, and many of those fetishes do not manifest until they are older, so many are undiagnosed for a long time. In the case of the man who wants a girl to crap on him, i suspect as a child he was traumatized during his development from diaper to potty training and something occurred more than once to link defection and pleasure, that is only my guess. That is the problem everyone is different and people want to put them into categories it is not always that easy.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

Who knows, maybe some traumatic experience in his childhood that his subconscious mind associates with defecation as a reward or something. Who knows? In his case he’s involving a minor so that’s illegal and harmful. In this instance it’s a mental illness but to me it would be due to the inclusion of a minor. I’d guess that’s not where his intensions with minors stops. 

Now, if he wanted that from his SO and they were both adults, yeah it would still be weird and off-putting, certainly not hygienic in my opinion but a mental illness? It still could be but it’s a bit of a gray area. What is that behavior satisfying and how prevailing is the “need” to do it? 

Now, where you draw the line on kinky behavior is a matter of taste and the purview of consenting adults, though I still don’t know where such tastes originate, but it is an interesting question. I see fetishes and kinky behavior as different. What my wife and I are into might be strange to you or mild to you depending on where your tastes are. I certainly have a kinky side, but I don’t think I’ve ever asked myself what the origins are of some of the things I like? But I have an hour to kill this afternoon, so I’ll rattle that around in my head…


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Mr. Nail said:


> as far as I can remember, it's always been there. in order for it to be a mental illness they would have to have an effective treatment for it.


And for the medical community to even consider it worth treatment, it would have to bring the kink holder distress. 

The tails of the human distribution are long and varied.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Mr. Nail said:


> as far as I can remember, it's always been there. in order for it to be a mental illness they would have to have an effective treatment for it.


If medical history has proven anything is that even the best experts in medicine can absolutely be wrong. Hysteria was diagnosed in the 19th century as a mental/emotion illness attributed to women and the number of "effective treatments" ranged from being submitted to mental institution, to the implementation of vibrators at a doctors office proves we can absolutely be wrong and destroy lives. Today it is not even considered a medical diagnosis. My point being that the human mind in many ways is still uncharted and while we can make observations and theories, in the end we still don't know conclusively what really happens in the brain. And don't even get me started with the pseudo science of eugenics as a problem with mental illness.


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

What if, just go with me here, what if tasting and smelling someone's urine was a biological test for the health of the individual? I mean, why are men and women attracted to the things they are? Why do dogs smell each other's butts? Why do they smell each other's pee and poop?

What if there was actually a primal, biological advantage to experiencing the urine of a potential mate? Is it my thing, no. Is it something that has been around a long time, yes. Is it frowned upon on general society and pushed to the fringes, yes.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

Lostinthought61 said:


> If medical history has proven anything is that even the best experts in medicine can absolutely be wrong. Hysteria was diagnosed in the 19th century as a mental/emotion illness attributed to women and the number of "effective treatments" ranged from being submitted to mental institution, to the implementation of vibrators at a doctors office proves we can absolutely be wrong and destroy lives. Today it is not even considered a medical diagnosis. My point being that the human mind in many ways is still uncharted and while we can make observations and theories, in the end we still don't know conclusively what really happens in the brain. And don't even get me started with the pseudo science of eugenics as a problem with mental illness.


Hysteria
High sex drive
Being Gay
Poor vocabulary and bad accent
other
were at some point viewed as mental illnesses


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

MaiChi said:


> What is the origin of a fetish or a kink?
> How does it happen that some people have them and others do not? I saw a police video where the arrested a man from Egypt who had written to a little girl of 13 asking if she could toilet on his face. He was only in his mid 20s at time of arrest. How on earth did it materialise in his head to want this? Could it be mental illnesses that we accept as harmless? Origins please?


I have a theory that many such fetishes are due to some skewing and damage of the sexuality as a child.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

MaiChi said:


> What is the origin of a fetish or a kink?
> How does it happen that some people have them and others do not? I saw a police video where the arrested a man from Egypt who had written to a little girl of 13 asking if she could toilet on his face. He was only in his mid 20s at time of arrest. How on earth did it materialise in his head to want this? Could it be mental illnesses that we accept as harmless? Origins please?


Porn and/or sexual abuse.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

WHERE is @maquiscat...?? I always love hearing his perspective on these things!!!

Lolol!!!!


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> WHERE is @maquiscat...?? I always love hearing his perspective on these things!!!
> 
> Lolol!!!!


Woman, if you want to nag me about being on these threads, then move yourself over here and join the family.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

MaiChi said:


> What is the origin of a fetish or a kink?
> How does it happen that some people have them and others do not? I saw a police video where the arrested a man from Egypt who had written to a little girl of 13 asking if she could toilet on his face. He was only in his mid 20s at time of arrest. How on earth did it materialise in his head to want this? Could it be mental illnesses that we accept as harmless? Origins please?


There is no one confirmed source of a fetish or kink. In some cases, IF there is a source, it is so lost in pre-memory (when you're so young that you don't have conscious recallable memories) as to not really make a difference. Now in some cases, such as your example, it might not be so much as a fetish or kink, but a mental disconnect. Since I have no reference and have not seen the guy, I can't tell if he has defects or other issues which makes him have disconnects with reality. For example, he might not have recognize the girl as actually underage. Doesn't excuse the behavior, simply explain it. 

Kinks and fetishes are actually quite common as a whole, although some are extremely rare individually. They are not based upon commonality in the population general, but with regards to the need and desire of a person as an individual. Thus a kink for one person is a fetish for another, and just something they do every so often for a third.



https://www.purewow.com/wellness/kink-vs-fetish said:


> There can definitely be some overlap between a kink and a fetish so we understand the confusion. Dr. Torrisi breaks down the difference as “whether it's something someone_ likes_ to do or if it’s something someone _has_ to do in order to have sexual pleasure.”
> 
> Here’s an example: If one night in bed, you accidentally hear your neighbors going at it and it turns you on, that’s kinky. But, if you _need_ to listen to or watch others having sex in order to feel aroused then that’s a fetish.


By this, even something as common as missionary position can become a kink or fetish. Granted, common language use wouldn't claim such, but common language use isn't always accurate.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Mr. Nail said:


> as far as I can remember, it's always been there. in order for it to be a mental illness they would have to have an effective treatment for it.


Not true. Recognizing a mental illness doesn't mean am effective treatment. It does usually mean they are looking for one. But mental illnesses or disorders are now defined as something that prevents normal daily interaction with the world at large or causes significant stress and/or anxiety in a person. Thus many things that were automatically disorders, because subjective as to how it affected the individual. This means that people with kinks and fetishes are no longer automatically mentally ill.



Mr. Nail said:


> I think that it is possible that at some point in the future some fetishes may be considered an illness, there may be treatments, there may even be causes. Kink holders can be distressed simply by social pressure to conform.


As noted, this is actually the reverse. They did used to be considered mental illnesses. Treatments, even for lesbianism, could range from forced dehydration in sweat boxes, to electrotherapy to all sorts of things that are now considered barbaric.



> Kinks, fetish, (which are not the same thing) are many and varied. Weather it is something a person needs to achieve arousal, or whether it is just something that enhances arousal, or if it is just a game that is fun to play. When we go to @MaiChi 's original example we have a young man who leaves a very repressive society to experience something taboo, and possibly dangerous, you have to wonder if his drive is more to taste (could be the wrong word) the forbidden. Could be rebellion against h
> is patriarchy.
> 
> Whatever the cause, his action has led him to legal trouble. And that is certainly going to be distressing, and he isn't going to get any help to handle this in a safe, healthy???, manner.
> ...


While being a kink or a fetish is not automatically a disorder, it still can be. Furthermore, many kinks and fetishes can overlap. The existence of them and the fact that most people who have them are not distressed nor impose them upon others, does not mean that there will not be people with a fetish that is not a disorder in them.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Diana7 said:


> I have a theory that many such fetishes are due to some skewing and damage of the sexuality as a child.


And what do you bring to the table to support such a theory? Or are you using "theory" in the more generalized idiom of "idea"?


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

AndStilliRise said:


> Porn and/or sexual abuse.


Not even close, although there is no denial that such _might_ be _one _path. But hardly a common one. Kinks and fetishes can develop in early childhood before they are actually sexualized. Bondage is a common one and very few were tied against their will. At worse, imitating things they've seen such as scenes from the 80's Wonder Woman, or any movie could develop one, assuming that it did develop from an event or many events. I know that I have never been sexually abused, and never saw porn until my teenage years. But in hindsight, I was interested in bondage (not sexual play, just bondage itself) at a young age. I didn't realize it at the time, mind you. I just remember enjoying "tying" up my cousins and having them do so with me. If you want to call using a wrist sweatband on both wrists at the same time, tying up someone.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> Not even close, although there is no denial that such _might_ be _one _path. But hardly a common one. Kinks and fetishes can develop in early childhood before they are actually sexualized. Bondage is a common one and very few were tied against their will. At worse, imitating things they've seen such as scenes from the 80's Wonder Woman, or any movie could develop one, assuming that it did develop from an event or many events. I know that I have never been sexually abused, and never saw porn until my teenage years. But in hindsight, I was interested in bondage (not sexual play, just bondage itself) at a young age. I didn't realize it at the time, mind you. I just remember enjoying "tying" up my cousins and having them do so with me. If you want to call using a wrist sweatband on both wrists at the same time, tying up someone.


I disagree.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

maquiscat said:


> Woman, if you want to nag me about being on these threads, then move yourself over here and join the family.


Uh-oh...what happened to "Mi' Lady"...??

You do realize that I would find it infinitely amusing to nag you on TAM even if we were in the same room...  

So NOTHING will save you...HAHAHAHA!!!!!


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

AndStilliRise said:


> I disagree.


You can disagree all you want, but that doesn't change anything I said.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> Uh-oh...what happened to "Mi' Lady"...??


That's for when you are behaving.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> You can disagree all you want, but that doesn't change anything I said.


I understand that. The bottom line is that no one really knows where they come from so we are left to our own opinions that are based on a number of different factors. You may or not be right. I may or may not be right. Anyone else here may or may not be right. It's one of those things that is impossible to know, but there does seem to be a general consensus. No one here will be swayed to change their minds so we will just have to agree to disagree.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

maquiscat said:


> That's for when you are behaving.


Oh CRAP...I may never hear it again then...Lol!!!


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

MaiChi said:


> What is the origin of a fetish or a kink?
> How does it happen that some people have them and others do not? I saw a police video where the arrested a man from Egypt who had written to a little girl of 13 asking if she could toilet on his face. He was only in his mid 20s at time of arrest. How on earth did it materialise in his head to want this? Could it be mental illnesses that we accept as harmless? Origins please?


Perhaps the following may help answer your question.

From Women's Health by Claire Lampen and Jasmine Gomez

*21 Sexual Fetishes And Kinks You've Never Heard of Before*

Sex therapist, Kelifern Pomeranz, PsyD, says that all fetishes are kinks, but not all kinks are fetishes. “A fetish is a sexual attraction to inanimate objects, body parts, or situations not commonly viewed as being sexual in nature, [while] a kink is a broader term that includes a variety of sexual interests, behaviors, preferences, and fantasies that are thought to be outside of the mainstream.”

According to Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and the author of Tell Me What You Want, fetishes and unusual sexual interests develop gradually. A person might see a particular stimulus—like, say, a boot—while they're sexually aroused, and eventually come to associate arousal with boots.

Or, Lehmiller says, grouping an object or body part together with orgasm might prompt a person to seek out that same object or body part in the future because the brain expects the same reward. (Orgasms, of course, floods the brain with dopamine, the neurotransmitter that regulates motivation and pleasure.)
Fetishes get stigmatized because they're reasonably rare, there's a lot of sexual shame in our culture, and because they often involve impulses that puzzle the masses: Bees all over your genitals? Unbounded attraction to vomit? But the brain wants what it wants.

......


As for myself I can't speak to fetishes, since I don't have any.

That said I do have a number of sexual kinks that certainly aren't everyones cup of tea. Of which in my experience though, it hasn't been difficult to find women (not all) since my teens that I am attracted to (including my wife), who have been or are happy to let me have my special way with them.

Some of my kinks are as follows.

Hair Pulling
Biting
Sex In Public Places
Cum Facials
Clothed Sex
Exhibitionism/Voyuerism
Fisting
Anal Sex
Rimming
Watersport's/Golden Showers


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

there are THOUSANDS of kinks out there. Go onto a fetish site like FetLife.com and try to count them all! 

Why? who knows. Sex is very much a MENTAL experience, perhaps as much as 50% mental, and 50% physical. What turns on a specific person's mind, sexually, is unique to that person. Many used to go thru life thinking they were the only one, or had something wrong with them. Now with social media and the internet, they are finding they are part of a larger group that has that fetish! Also porn sites can introduce a person to a fetish they had never thought of, but suddenly they find they are turned on by it.

A LOT of fetishes are very mainstream. Just go into any woman's clothing store, and look at the sexy high heels, lingerie, sexy dresses, and you realize they too are a fetish. A fetish either for the person wearing them getting aroused, or for the person wearing them being an exhibitionist. That sort of fashion is a multi billion dollar kink industry!

Clearly kinks and fetishes that involve harming others or using minors are wrong and illegal. but other fetishes...who is to say what is wrong or right?

in terms of MARRIED SEX....a lot come on here and other sites and complain they no longer have sex with their spouse. but with all those kinks and fetishes available today...have they REALLY tried to arouse the spouse? Face it, in these times, we are not in Kansas anymore, Toto!


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

BTW, the whole rimming thing...i will pass!
same with any sort of diaper wearing stuff!


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

My husband has a fetish for medical casts and braces. I have wanted to know the origins for as long as I've known about it and I have no idea. He isn't especially open about the source- either because he doesn't know (usually he just has said "that's the way he's always been/ felt" or something like that) - or its too complicated to explain. 

I definitely wonder this as well


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Donna123 said:


> or its too complicated to explain.


Really? Your husband is seriously inconveniencing you but, he can't take the time and effort to talk to you about how it began for him? Doesn't that give you pause?


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

Blondilocks said:


> Really? Your husband is seriously inconveniencing you but, he can't take the time and effort to talk to you about how it began for him? Doesn't that give you pause?


Not at all. It's like asking why I like the fall weather and not being ok with just why, but wanting to know when I started liking the changing seasons, cool weather and falling leaves. I just do. When did a man start liking anything he's turned onto? Where do you draw the line of what is "normal" and what isn't?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Donna123 said:


> Not at all. It's like asking why I like the fall weather and not being ok with just why, but wanting to know when I started liking the changing seasons, cool weather and falling leaves. I just do. When did a man start liking anything he's turned onto? Where do you draw the line of what is "normal" and what isn't?


I suspect that most fetishes have been caused by something that happened in their past and skewed their sexuality. Maybe with the right therapy he could be free of it.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

The occult perhaps?


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

CatholicDad said:


> The occult perhaps?


Bahahahahaha! ......well at least you didn't blame porn lol.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Welcome back thread!
Unlike @Donna123 I'm not willing to discuss my kinks in public forum. There is a half chance that one of my major fetishes is rooted in an embarrassing situation that occurred when I was 7. The sexual connection didn't show up for another 5 or so years (puberty). But I don't know if that is the "cause" or just an associated event. 
With the internet I've had the opportunity to talk with men around the world with the same kink. What I have learned is that my experience mirrors much of what is reported elsewhere. We all "feel", and "do" exactly the same things. It would surprise me a lot if anyone of those many men had the same embarrassing experience at a similar age. The other thing I have learned is that while many manage to hide their kink from most of the world, No one has ever been cured. I think a 2 - 3 year break is about as good as "cures" work.
TLDR It's always been there. People who share my kink, have very varied backgrounds but very similar kink experience. And Like Donna my wife has dealt with it for a long time.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Donna123 said:


> Not at all. It's like asking why I like the fall weather and not being ok with just why, but wanting to know when I started liking the changing seasons, cool weather and falling leaves. I just do. When did a man start liking anything he's turned onto? Where do you draw the line of what is "normal" and what isn't?


Agreed. This is one of those things that if you have no experience with it, you're going to scream "THE DEBIL!" and if you've had a bad experience with it, that is going to make it hard for you to see any upside to it. That goes for just about everything. I have personally never heard of a cast fetish before. The only question/concern* I* have is, are *YOU* ok? If you say you're ok, you're a grown up girl and can make that decision. You seem to be an adult, I'm assuming if you were frightened or being hurt you would reach out for help, and if you need help and don't know where to go, let us know and we'll help you. Otherwise, it makes for an interesting discussion and no one is making you share so hopefully it's comforting/fun for you to talk about. I personally have fantasies I've never discussed with anyone, ever. Are those fetishes? Yes, by definition they are. Does that mean I need to run find a priest for an exorcist? Well, not for this particular thing... 😂 😉

There are things that are NOT normal. Any sort of sexual attraction to children, not normal. Unwelcome violence, not normal. The need to obsessively control another person in a non-sexual and non-mutual way, like needing to be the "boss" ("leader" is a popular word), not normal. Animals, not normal. It's pretty easy to see what is dangerously outside the bounds of "normal." But honestly, this cast thing, while it's farther than I would be willing to go, seems like it's like wanting to see you in lingerie or something like that. Less mainstream than lingerie but the same general idea. Would you agree with that assessment?


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> I suspect that most fetishes have been caused by something that happened in their past and skewed their sexuality. Maybe with the right therapy he could be free of it.


Every opinion and yes fetishes any person has, was most assuredly caused by things that have happened in their past. Any thought, anything, really.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Every opinion and yes fetishes any person has, was most assuredly caused by things that have happened in their past. Any thought, anything, really.


I disagree that all fetishes are negative. I do, however, agree that opinions are like tush-holes. 😉


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

CatholicDad said:


> The occult perhaps?


Some of the more dark and extreme ones very possibly.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

TexasMom1216 said:


> I disagree that all fetishes are negative. I do, however, agree that opinions are like tush-holes. 😉


I too disagree that all fetishes are negative.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I'm definitely a guy who really, really appreciates a fine derriere on a woman. Call it what you will, so far no harm no foul after say 46 years of appreciating...


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

gosh, the list of fetishes is so long...
some are fairly common ones, others are way out there.
but so long as they are practiced between consenting adults, and nobody's body is actually damaged, why should anyone else care?

I think a fetish goes hand in hand with just about ANY sexual fantasy. If you can think of something in your mind, and it turns you on sexually....how is that not a good thing?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

MaiChi said:


> What is the origin of a fetish or a kink?
> How does it happen that some people have them and others do not? I saw a police video where the arrested a man from Egypt who had written to a little girl of 13 asking if she could toilet on his face. He was only in his mid 20s at time of arrest. How on earth did it materialise in his head to want this? Could it be mental illnesses that we accept as harmless? Origins please?


Takes a therapist and a lot of willingness and time to find out the origin usually. Some people know it but won't say it because it often involves their mommy or something.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Some people know it but won't say it because it often involves their mommy or something


Do you have early childhood experiences that don't involve your mommy?
Obviously all of my children will have mac and cheese kinks.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Donna123 said:


> My husband has a fetish for medical casts and braces. I have wanted to know the origins for as long as I've known about it and I have no idea. He isn't especially open about the source- either because he doesn't know (usually he just has said "that's the way he's always been/ felt" or something like that) - or its too complicated to explain.
> 
> I definitely wonder this as well


as far as WHY?

maybe he broke a limb once, and the cast kept him restrained, and found that that turned him on. Or many years later, the thought of being restrained turned him on.
Or a hot female nurse put the cast on him, and he has been fantasizing ever since about her. 

WHo knows the origin, maybe even HE does not know. but the fact that it turns him on sexually is all that matters.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Takes a therapist and a lot of willingness and time to find out the origin usually. Some people know it but won't say it because it often involves their mommy or something.


"therapist" implies there is something wrong or deviant with a fetish. Most are pretty normal....like wanting to fondle women's feet, or whatever.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Talker67 said:


> "therapist" implies there is something wrong or deviant with a fetish. Most are pretty normal....like wanting to fondle women's feet, or whatever.


Well, we could argue about that. It depends how focused on the fetish the person is and whether they have to have it to function and whether they can have a relationship without it being involved. In that way, it's not harmless. It's like an addiction of any other kind, usually with obscured origins buried deep; hence why it takes a therapist. 

Here is a good definition and article about it in Psychology Today. It is a disorder.





__





Fetishistic Disorder


Fetishistic disorder is an intense sexual attraction to either inanimate objects or to body parts not traditionally viewed as sexual, coupled with clinically significant distress or impairment.




www.psychologytoday.com


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> as far as WHY?
> 
> maybe he broke a limb once, and the cast kept him restrained, and found that that turned him on. Or many years later, the thought of being restrained turned him on.
> Or a hot female nurse put the cast on him, and he has been fantasizing ever since about her.
> ...


Maybe but then that would only apply to if he’s in one right?


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

R


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Donna123 said:


> Maybe but then that would only apply to if he’s in one right?


it would not be that unusual to transfer roles, where a hot nurse did it to him, and he is the doctor now doing it to the hot nurse....and so on.

I was wondering if after he applied the cast, does he then really enjoy normal sex with you? or it that it, and he goes into the TV room to watch some SciFy? 

There is a fairly big fetish where people super enjoy having sex with the disabled....such as having sex with a double leg amputee. Was wondering if this was a mild form of that.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> it would not be that unusual to transfer roles, where a hot nurse did it to him, and he is the doctor now doing it to the hot nurse....and so on.
> 
> I was wondering if after he applied the cast, does he then really enjoy normal sex with you? or it that it, and he goes into the TV room to watch some SciFy?
> 
> There is a fairly big fetish where people super enjoy having sex with the disabled....such as having sex with a double leg amputee. Was wondering if this was a mild form of that.


Yes, we have sex with me in casts, but we also enjoy going shopping or out to dinner or whatever with me in them as well. It has a sensory/ experience nature to it as well as sexual for him and I enjoy that I don't feel like a sexual object in that way. I can make him happy and still live life. I'm still Donna, I'm just wearing a cast for him and it makes him happy and that makes me enjoy it for that reason.

We still enjoy sex apart from his fetish as well and enjoy time together whether or not I am in a cast, so it is not a prerequisite for anything - attention, intimacy etc


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

well, the ANTICIPATION of sex...hours away, as you are out eating and drinking, must be driving him mad with desire!


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

I don't think the question will ever be definitely answered.

I have done a lot of kinky stuff and have learned one thing: my only real "kink" is turning my partner on. Maybe that has something to do with mirror neurons or something, but it is a HUGE turn on for me.


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

As'laDain said:


> I don't think the question will ever be definitely answered.
> 
> I have done a lot of kinky stuff and have learned one thing: my only real "kink" is turning my partner on. Maybe that has something to do with mirror neurons or something, but it is a HUGE turn on for me.


I also get a lot of pleasure out of turning on and satisfying my partner. I wouldn't say I have a fetish of my own, but still get some of my own enjoyment from doing his for that reason


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## Donna123 (Dec 6, 2021)

Talker67 said:


> well, the ANTICIPATION of sex...hours away, as you are out eating and drinking, must be driving him mad with desire!


Yes, like foreplay


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

some women get sexual gratification from "tributes", where you take a risqué picture of them from their website, print it out, then cum on it, and send her back a picture of it.

so yes, women turning on men CAN BE a big fetish for the woman! especially if it is centered on a unique situation, like a very plump woman posting nudes, and men who love very plump women responding with adoration.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Blondilocks said:


> Really? Your husband is seriously inconveniencing you but, he can't take the time and effort to talk to you about how it began for him? Doesn't that give you pause?


Honestly, I could not tell you where any of my kinks started from. I can remember enjoying tying and being tied from as far back as 8, although I had no sexual connection to it back then. I know there are others that I realized an interest in when I was exposed to them, but can't remember the exact circumstances of such. It's not unreasonable that her husband doesn't remember the origin either.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Every opinion and yes fetishes any person has, was most assuredly caused by things that have happened in their past. Any thought, anything, really.


But that doesn't mean you are aware or remember what that origin was.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Well, we could argue about that. It depends how focused on the fetish the person is and whether they have to have it to function and whether they can have a relationship without it being involved. In that way, it's not harmless. It's like an addiction of any other kind, usually with obscured origins buried deep; hence why it takes a therapist.
> 
> Here is a good definition and article about it in Psychology Today. It is a disorder.
> 
> ...


If it gets to the point of dysfunction, then it moves from fetish to philia. Kink is where you just like it. Fetish is where you want it as a regular part of your sex life, but it's not a controlling aspect of your life. Philia is when it disrupts your life and you need professional help. I would say that the naming in the article is either a recent shift in the nomenclature by the profession, or is used for layman understanding.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> If it gets to the point of dysfunction, then it moves from fetish to philia. Kink is where you just like it. Fetish is where you want it as a regular part of your sex life, but it's not a controlling aspect of your life. Philia is when it disrupts your life and you need professional help. I would say that the naming in the article is either a recent shift in the nomenclature by the profession, or is used for layman understanding.


The article is using the DSM (standard psychiatric manual) classification as a disorder definition. Those are updated regularly. I'm sure there are nuances, though. I'm an old cowgirl, so I used to sling a rope around a little but didn't know what to do after I caught them! So I'm a catch-and-release kind of cowgirl, I guess. It could be worse. I could be a neuter-and-release type.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

DownByTheRiver said:


> The article is using the DSM (standard psychiatric manual) classification as a disorder definition. Those are updated regularly. I'm sure there are nuances, though. I'm an old cowgirl, so I used to sling a rope around a little but didn't know what to do after I caught them! So I'm a catch-and-release kind of cowgirl, I guess. It could be worse. I could be a neuter-and-release type.


I do like that they only will classify something a disorder if it interfering with life, and not simply because it exists.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

maquiscat said:


> I do like that they only will classify something a disorder if it interfering with life, and not simply because it exists.


Right. That's very important in psychiatry. I think they know more than most people that there are just a lot of different traits you can have that most people have on a scale that goes from low to high.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

maquiscat said:


> But that doesn't mean you are aware or remember what that origin was.


That's what I'm saying. 👍👍🙂🙂


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