# The lies hurt



## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Before I stumbled on an email that exposed my wifes' cheating, which was following by ILYBDLY talk, which was followed by the news that she was in love with a co-worker, she would say things like "I love you so much", "I love our family", "it's you and me forever". I'm still amazed. Maybe they're trying to convince themselves. Really makes the whole thing so much more of a shock when you find out. I have to say those words are very hard to erase from my mind, no exagerration she was saying these things 1 week before everything blew up. Have any of you experienced this before you found out about your WS cheating?


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## MAKINGSENSEOFIT2 (Aug 6, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> Before I stumbled on an email that exposed my wifes' cheating, which was following by ILYBDLY talk, which was followed by the news that she was in love with a co-worker, she would say things like "I love you so much", "I love our family", "it's you and me forever". I'm still amazed. Maybe they're trying to convince themselves. Really makes the whole thing so much more of a shock when you find out. I have to say those words are very hard to erase from my mind, no exagerration she was saying these things 1 week before everything blew up. Have any of you experienced this before you found out about your WS cheating?


The affair script is usually followed very closely. ILYBDLY or it's variations just replaced the outdated it's no your it's me line. Both are complete bulls*it.


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> Before I stumbled on an email that exposed my wifes' cheating, which was following by ILYBDLY talk, which was followed by the news that she was in love with a co-worker, she would say things like "I love you so much", "I love our family", "it's you and me forever". I'm still amazed. Maybe they're trying to convince themselves. Really makes the whole thing so much more of a shock when you find out. I have to say those words are very hard to erase from my mind, no exagerration she was saying these things 1 week before everything blew up. Have any of you experienced this before you found out about your WS cheating?


Yes to all statements. 

Also, my STBEH was always saying we make all financial decisions together and I am so lucky to have a practical wife like you. 

Meanwhile he was seeing a spendy flashy women who was cheating on her husband, complained he was hairy ugly and she hated having sex with her husband. She only stayed with him because he was mega wealthy. My husband was was spending small fortune on her with expensive dinners out and expensive weekend trips. So much for me making all the finanical decisions about our money together. WTF was he thinking.

It's part of the rush the cheater's get from the thrill of the affair. 

Illicit affairs release dopamine in large doses just like drugs, gambling, drinking and other vices. 

Your wife is a self absorbed person who feel somewhat entitled. 

My guess is you are the giver and compromiser in the relationship and your wife is more prone to being the taker and the one who wants her way most of the time.


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