# Husband on Anti-Depressant, No Intimacy. Advice please!



## rubberduck (Mar 4, 2011)

Hello everyone. I need some advice.

My husband and I have been married for nearly a year and a half now, and together for about 4 1/2 years. We're very happy together, but a recent problem has arisen. My husband has suffered from chronic headaches for about 12 years now and has been on several different medications for pain management, the latest one being Cymbalta, an anti-depressant. Since he started taking this medication, _all_ intimacy has gone out the window.

We don't cuddle in bed anymore; he doesn't hug me or hold me close; he would rather watch porn while I'm away instead of having sex with me; we don't say "I love you" to each other before going to sleep anymore; our kisses over the past couple of weeks have been nothing but pecks; my advances have been refused multiple times and I have now given up on trying to engage in anything sexual with my husband and now, even regular conversation... it doesn't help that I'm 33 weeks pregnant and my "baby bump" sort of makes things awkward for him. He won't touch my belly. He has said that I look beautiful, but when it comes to intimacy, nothing is happening.

All of this has gotten worse since he started taking Cymbalta. He has also become fairly irritable. He took Oxycodone for pain management beforehand, but things got out of hand while he was on that medication (he went from 10mg to as much as 160mg in a matter of a few months and he could barely function without the Oxycodone), so I'm not sure if his snappy behaviour is also partially a withdrawal side effect. :scratchhead:

Is his behaviour because of the medication? How long will these effects last? How can I keep myself from taking everything personally? I'm feeling very depressed and lonely because of this situation. I love my husband deeply and don't want to lose him - relationship-wise or intimacy-wise. I just want my husband back.


----------



## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

You have this thread in the sex and marriage section too, I answered it there.


----------



## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Well for one thing Cymbalta while called an antidepressant is not an SSRI, it's an SNRI. Slightly different in effect. Since it's being used for pain management there aren't a lot of options. Sexual side effects are rampant with SNRIs. Talk to your doctor.


----------

