# Multiple Affairs - Which AP do you dislike the most?



## asia (Dec 3, 2012)

This is for BS's that have been through more than one affair. Which OP do you feel the most disdain for? Is it the one that went PA? The EA only/PA only? Is it the one your WS had the most feelings for? How do you view them or do you discount them totally and focus only on your spouse? How long did it take you to finally stop thinking about the AP?

I have been around this block and I am most troubled by the one he "fell" for. Just curious how others feel.


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

You should have dumped his sorry cheating butt after he cheated the first time. I have seen your other threads, and you keep allowing yourself to be cheated on.

You should hate ALL the AP's, but you should hate you POS CH even more !


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## asia (Dec 3, 2012)

barbados said:


> You should have dumped his sorry cheating butt after he cheated the first time. I have seen your other threads, and you keep allowing yourself to be cheated on.
> 
> You should hate ALL the AP's, but you should hate you POS CH even more !


Whoa, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? A little aggressive don't cha think? :scratchhead:


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## Singledude21 (Feb 21, 2013)

asia said:


> Whoa, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? A little aggressive don't cha think? :scratchhead:


Can't say I blame em. Sounds like you've been taken for granted big time. Should have kick his sorry butt to the curb long time ago.


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## notadoormat (Jun 1, 2013)

so..his first ow..i think she ok. It was just after we married. He left me. Said he got scared etc. At the time i wa
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## notadoormat (Jun 1, 2013)

sorry. Ph rang and that posted by mistake. First ap after we married. He confessed 13 yrs later.she only 21 and preg. Told him it was his. We had a seperation before engaged due to living 3000 m apart. He came back apologized etc. She now has a family of her own. She grew up and loves her hubs and children. She a two time grandma and is 43. Her karma? Grandma at 38. That baby she tried to say was my hubs had two kids as a teen. I wish hubs stayed w her instead of coming back to me then he be a grandpa lol. But she never spoke ill of me. She never soughgt vengeance. She told my hubs family after he came back to me that if her child his ..she would leave us alone. She did. Upon later seeing a pic he told me resemblance. I saw pics and yes. Took dna. Results neg. I saw. She did not ask. He did ask to do that. Anyway...that she got her life figured out..and if she was my neighbor and never did what she did..id like her. She ow 1. Stroll down life..15 years out...ow2. She likes my ws. She emailed him. Still unsure today if pa. He said good friend. She did or does wnt him. She still making my life hell at wk. She is posow 2....a year later...posow 3. This one i hate w a passion. He confessed to this one.but she lies about me to coworkers. She makes false accusations against staff. She posted crap on fb. She threatened to kick my ass if i confront her. She touts to be a christian. Something about her is pure evil...no remorse. She knew my children were subjected to daily fights over passworded phones for a year and she did not care. When ws made it clear he not leaving me she spewed our private life at wk. She then turned me in for harassment. Ow 4. Started three weeks after confession of posow 3. She sent him signals. He starts treating me like crap. A week after confessing posow3. By three wks later i break into email. Groping yet another staffi
i work with. My HR dept. Tells me its a personal prob. No job transfer. She approached me apologized. Wants to be *my friend*..he told her we had filed. We all wk together. So there you go. Oh..while ow1 has her life going well now i did find a letter 4 years into marriage saying she couldnt wait for our divorce so they could be married. It was hidden in a book.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## notadoormat (Jun 1, 2013)

i was sahm during ow 2. No money to support. I was working during ow3..but only temp position.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

asia said:


> Whoa, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? A little aggressive don't cha think? :scratchhead:


I do not think Barbados was aggressive. At all.

Thing is, if you do not want answers to a question, then maybe it's best not to ask them.

And BTW, TAM has a really strong policy on the use of swearwords.


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## Racer (Sep 24, 2009)

Honestly... there’s not a lot of distain for the AP’s of my SA WW. Why? I see her as the absolute main source of the adultery. I mean there’s so many, it appears as though the only thing they did was give her attention and flatter her. She took it from there to hook, land and sink that fish.

If any stand out it’s her LTPA. Her and him discussed at great detail my relationship, my issues, our sex, etc. It is massively emasculating to know she shared each and every thing about us sexually with him and poked fun at it. I hate him for knowing. You know how I write novel responses here? Try that I used to write out everything trying to plead with my wife over our sex life and my unfulfilled fantasies. She kept them in her purse; At the time I thought she did it so she could read it. Nope; It was to share it with her lover... she made copies for him so they could talk about it over the phone. Love letters... everything. Unforgivable.

I trusted her.... that was my mistake and she will never gain that sort of access to me again. I never write anything out for her anymore. No more. That is beyond repair in this relationship.

So, that’s a part of my R. I accept there are some things I can never forgive. They aren’t dealbreakers, but I do things different now so it can no longer be used hurt me. Whenever I think of writing her a long response, I remember what she’s done. So, she gets the ‘short’ response. She has to talk, face to face. I hate doing that since I can edit and sort out words until they convey the message... I can’t face to face like that.


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## smorgasbord (May 28, 2013)

Racer said:


> Honestly... there’s not a lot of distain for the AP’s of my SA WW. Why? I see her as the absolute main source of the adultery. I mean there’s so many, it appears as though the only thing they did was give her attention and flatter her. She took it from there to hook, land and sink that fish.


this is how i feel. i don't blame any of them. i don't feel like i have a right to because they all were under the impression that STBXH was single. it's not like they knew he was married and went for it anyway. one of them i've actually spoken to (he's not aware of this) and she was adamantly apologetic and ceased all contact with him. she was also very surprised that i didn't go ballistic on her and i just said why? what would that accomplish?


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## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

asia said:


> Whoa, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? A little aggressive don't cha think? :scratchhead:


Unfortunately no, not at all. I'm simply trying to help. I have seen your other threads. You seem like a decent person who deserves MUCH BETTER than you are getting.

Instead of confronting your WH head on, you now are asking which AP you hate the most ??

You may get angry at me all you like, but we both know the person you NEED to be angry at is your miserable, serial cheating husband.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE HIS DOORMAT !! YOU DESERVE BETTER !!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Out of all the OM's the "good friend" was the worst.

All were PA's BTW.


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## berries (Nov 4, 2013)

My former "best friend" of 26 years is definitely the worst.

But my STBX is a HUGE D Bag too. I really wish I had never married him.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*While I have equal disdain for both of my XW's OMen in a simultaneous tryst, all while still being "faithfully" married to me, the greatest and most absolute disdain that I harbor is for no one other than her!

After all, it was she who initiated and forced the contact with both of these old BF's by means of FB. And judging from her written words and actions, it was also she who seemed to be the one who wanted to initiate sex with them! 

And like any horny schoolboy, the OMen were all too eager to most willingly oblige her advances!*


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## Headspin (May 13, 2012)

The last one tops the list for me been 20 mnths since we separated. 

At the time OM wouldn't leave his wife, she was in denial, so they carried on. 6 months ago he left his wife and got a flat but left his wife on the "lets have some space but wer'e still together " etc etc" but played it as if he his wife were still together - but then OM vstxw rekindled it at 'the love nest' so this posom really had the cake and ate.

Untill two weeks ago when vsbxw wanted to come home to me!! and I let his wife know what they had been up to 

So in the space of a week before and at Christmas posom has gone from that smug arrogant smile to watching his life implode in a suprememly wonderful way - now his wife of 20 yrs and her and his family have gone ballistic 

:rofl:

Until now I've waited to see vstbxw smash his and her life up and now the fun starts

She's returnded to the 'love nest' after I told her where to go. How sweet is that 
After leaving his wife and setting up the nest she wants to come back to me, but now he's plan B !

I did believe in the karma bus but never thought it could arrive in such a beautiful way

Aren't I nasty ! :smthumbup:


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

In Sum 2009, I caught my wife in a short term EAPA with her college BF, over the next few weeks I discovered that she had been serially cheating for the previous 7 years of our marriage. 3 OM in total that I have direct proof, I suspect others, but she denies. 

I personally knew all 3 OM. While she is 100% responsible, I still have dislike (hate) for them. In each case they approached her, played to her weakness. 

The first OM is the one I really have extreme disgust for. He was her Principal (Boss) at the school she taught. This POSOM was divorced and played the married staff like his personal harem. He was always on the look out for a married teacher that was having marriage problems, a crying shoulder. He would use his power to make things easier for them, better classes, less duties, promotions, whatever he could do to be a "good" friend. 

This POS was a flat out predator. I know personally, he had slept with 4 teachers at this same school. When I went to counseling, I began to tell my C about him. She guessed his name. Turns out he had been screwing married teachers at every school he worked at for over a decade. My C said she and other C had counseled so many BS directly related to him she had lost count. The county Home-Wrecker, was there joke.

He voluntarily retired (fired)... for some unknown reason... I wonder what HAPPENED?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

RWB said:


> In Sum 2009, I caught my wife in a short term EAPA with her college BF, over the next few weeks I discovered that she had been serially cheating for the previous 7 years of our marriage. 3 OM in total that I have direct proof, I suspect others, but she denies.
> 
> I personally knew all 3 OM. While she is 100% responsible, I still have dislike (hate) for them. In each case they approached her, played to her weakness.
> 
> ...


*I'm really fearful, RWB, that this Sack of Crap Administrator didn't just go uproot himself, without saying anything to anybody, and then move, undetected, on to other distant or out-of-state digs to greatly perpetuate his most lurid modus operandi.

After all, leopards rarely ever change their spots!*


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

RWB said:


> In Sum 2009, I caught my wife in a short term EAPA with her college BF, over the next few weeks I discovered that she had been serially cheating for the previous 7 years of our marriage. 3 OM in total that I have direct proof, I suspect others, but she denies.
> 
> I personally knew all 3 OM. While she is 100% responsible, I still have dislike (hate) for them. In each case they approached her, played to her weakness.
> 
> ...


I hope he's on Cheaterville?


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

RWB said:


> This POS was a flat out predator. I know personally, he had slept with 4 teachers at this same school. When I went to counseling, I began to tell my C about him. She guessed his name. Turns out he had been screwing married teachers at every school he worked at for over a decade. My C said she and other C had counseled so many BS directly related to him she had lost count. The county Home-Wrecker, was there joke.
> 
> He voluntarily retired (fired)... for some unknown reason... I wonder what HAPPENED?


what amaze me is that nobody exposed his POS ass properly in all that time, obviously with that bahaviour he could have been banned from the scholar system long time ago


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

arbitrator said:


> *I'm really fearful, RWB, that this Sack of Crap Administrator didn't just go uproot himself, without saying anything to anybody, and then move, undetected, on to other distant or out-of-state digs to greatly perpetuate his most lurid modus operandi.
> 
> After all, leopards rarely ever change their spots!*


Arb,

For almost a year, I was on the "scorched earth" plan of exposure. I would lay awake at night and think about how to "repay" the POS OM. In this POS former Principal case, he was definitely a slippery snake. I knew he was too young to retire and education was his only job. My wife finally told me one day that he always wanted to live on the Gulf Coast near Destin or Panama City. I started in Pensacola at every County Public School website and worked my way East. I found him teaching 4th grade near Ft. Walton Beach. Once I confirmed where he teaching, I made a personal call to the HR admin and Principal of the school. 

I talked directly with the person that hired him. All I did was tell the truth that I knew to be fact. She informed me that what he did in the past was of no concern. However, she did tell me that "infidelity" with married employees would not be tolerated at her school due to some level of code of conduct. In addition, I emailed every teacher on his grade level and explained what kind of person they were working with. Risky?

Short story... he was terminated in year two.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

RWB said:


> Short story... he was terminated in year two.


Love it

:smthumbup:


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

RWB said:


> Short story... he was terminated in year two.


did he confronted you about it?


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## Working1 (Sep 28, 2013)

asia said:


> Whoa, who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? A little aggressive don't cha think? :scratchhead:


I think you need a push in the right direction, move on. It's not meant to be mean, just coming from a healthy perspective. We have all been there, bending over backwards to want to work it out, but in reality, if they don't get their sh!t together, there is definitely time to kick them to the curb.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

manticore said:


> did he confronted you about it?


Gave him plenty of chances to respond... email, cell calls... Coward. 

He left our county before I knew about my wife's affair with him. Talk about a 2 face lying fake. He was always in the local paper talking about how he was so devoted to the School System... How he loved the children, and his devoted Staff. What a line of puke... he would use the his private office as his private tryst space. Hell, I even went to the School Xmas party with my wife, this POS came up to me and hugs my wife and shakes my hand and goes on to tell me what a devoted, great teacher my wife is. This while he is sleeping with my wife and at least 3 others teachers at the same school. 

Anyway... about a year after he "disappeared" to FL, he calls one of his Buddy Boy Principals at another School and tries to snake his way back. Buddy Boy was his Assistant Prin years before and was tight with him, both were having affairs with the staff. I knew they were screwing around, just never thought it would be with my wife (damn, I feel stupid even now). All I knew at the time was the job fell through. After DD, my wife admitted that she and other teachers that had cheated with him... threaten to risk their jobs (be fired) and would expose themselves if this Sh!t-Head was let back in the system. 

I'm sitting here, kind of thinking I wish I was a Troll, and all this crap was just a "good" story... Nope, this pile of crap is my reality.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*RWB: I've got a lot of dear friends in education, mostly due to my football officiating avocation. Maybe, I've been extremely fortunate because the vast majority of them, other than for bumping into an occasional egotistical jerk as a football coach or athletic director, have been absolute "salt of the earth." I don't know one principal or supe from over my storied career that I absolutely don't like.

But I've even heard them say that there are some bad seeds out there among administrators and such of either committing infidelity, or stooping so low as to mess with the kids, and that their administrative policy is to "crack nuts first and ask questions later"; that if they are not setting a good example for the school district with the general public, that they don't need them!

I salute you for the teacher that you are, Sir! We need far more like you! And please rest assured, you ain't no troll!*


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

RWB said:


> *This while he is sleeping with my wife and at least 3 others teachers at the same school. *


this is what amaze me, how is that from all the husbands you were the only one who did somethig about it?, and I just don't mean for those 4 teachers (including your wife) but from the previous ones.

also how is possible that women let themselves fell in to his game?, I can understand one at the time but 4, obviously the others have to be aware that they are not the only ones so they have to know that his love promises are just BS.



RWB said:


> Buddy Boy was his Assistant Prin years before and was tight with him, both were having affairs with the staff.


this is what I mean, why he keep his job?, well because nobody did nothing about it, at least you did not let the other POSOM keep playing his game, if all men would react just like you willing to make these POSOM face consequences, there would be less people willing to mess with other person's marriages, I just don't understang other OPs hasitation when they are reluctants to burn their POSOM



RWB said:


> I'm sitting here, kind of thinking I wish I was a Troll, and all this crap was just a "good" story... Nope, this pile of crap is my reality.


stay strong man, I hope she is doing the heavy lifting full heartedly and full of remorse.



RWB said:


> about a year after he "disappeared"


did he disappared because he knew what was coming to him or for a total unrelated reason?


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

manticore said:


> this is what amaze me, how is that from all the husbands you were the only one who did somethig about it?, and I just don't mean for those 4 teachers (including your wife) but from the previous ones.
> 
> also how is possible that women let themselves fell in to his game?, I can understand one at the time but 4, obviously the others have to be aware that they are not the only ones so they have to know that his love promises are just BS.
> 
> ...


Manti,

Your questions are valid. In a nutshell HOW?

This POS principal was very selecltive. I have the emails that my wife wrote. It to this day grosses me out to think about it. He didn't promise "love you forever"... he was just their escape. My wife even wrote to another AP about him... "I knew there is no future... I'm just another woman for him... but I was starved for affection and he delivered". 

He was single, young, and in power. I think "they" saw that as sexy. This POS died his hair blond (streaks), went to the tanning booth, and rode a Harley. I kid you not. It's like some cheap B rated movie. Can you believe we use to work out at the Gym together... he was screwing my wife and spotting me. There has got to be some kind of Karma awaiting him. 

Your question... WHY didn't someone go after him earlier? I think it all goes back to MONEY. If you get your teacher wife fired and divorce? What do think your Alimony and Child support will be. One of the teachers he was sleeping with was already divorced... she was just a wh0re, that taught my son in 2nd grade. The other 2 divorced and no allegations were ever mentioned. LAWYERS know you can't win... whatever that is. 

To be honest... I thought about this same senario myself. I spent years in counseling with and without my wife. I'm 4+ years out. Why it happened is straight forward and at the same time confusing as hell. Over a year+ sitting on the divorce fence. 

The school system was full on cheaters some years ago. Once you are on the inside (cheated on) you get to know the truth. I know them all... I have lived in the same county for 30+ years and the truth will seep out. We have a "new" super that must have some balls. At my wife's school 2013 the principal and AP were both fired for infidelity and misconduct. The entire school knew and no one said a thing. The BS husband pushed the issue and threaten to go public. 

Sometimes... I think I would like to go Mustang and expose all these Bastards for the sh!t they have done and has been swept under the rug. But... I'm tired of it. I have my own demons. 1 more year and I can retire and get the hell out of here and all the bull-sh!t that goes with it. 

*I hope she is doing the heavy lifting full heartedly and full of remorse.*

She has and is an open book. I gave her one chance... be honest... She has and has agreed to every demand day one. The DD experience was just... ugly. My grown children left her cold, years before they would talk to her, she has earned a little of respect in the past 4+ years. 

Do I look over my shoulder? You know it. Am I scared? I would welcome a straight up fight. 

Sorry for the ramble... doing the Family Holiday thing and need to vent... I think you BS know what I mean. 

RWB


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## manticore (Sep 3, 2013)

is much better vent it here that at home, glad you are doing better.


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

RWB said:


> In Sum 2009, I caught my wife in a short term EAPA with her college BF, over the next few weeks I discovered that she had been serially cheating for the previous 7 years of our marriage. 3 OM in total that I have direct proof, I suspect others, but she denies.
> 
> I personally knew all 3 OM. While she is 100% responsible, I still have dislike (hate) for them. In each case they approached her, played to her weakness.
> 
> ...


OM-with-Pornstar-esque sexual ability?? :scratchhead:


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## deceived (May 19, 2012)

Definitely the one he still thinks about, talks to friends about, and asks about even though he hasn't spoken to her in 18 months or seen her in two years. I probably should have dumped his sorry butt too, but i haven't.


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

OM#1 went after my wife late last year / early this year after she befriended him and confided in him the state of our marriage at the time.
He just did what an opportunist 'player' did and talked the talk, said all the right things and my wife subsequently discovered his 'reputation'.
And that was that. Cut-and-dried-affair situation really....until...

...7 months later, OM#2 , was a so-called friend of mine who used to meet with me and get me to open-up and talk about the then-affair my wife was having with OM #1.
When he met my wife, he took an instant shine to her and contacted her through FB which then set off some weird, 2-month, 'friends-not-friends-then-friends-with-benefits' situation.
Turns out, OM #2 just saw my wife as a 'target' for him to take away from OM #1.
And then dump her.
Only in it for his massive-inflated ego.

Turns out OM#2 completely pulled the wool over everyone's eyes: me, my wife and her OM#1.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Racer said:


> Honestly... there’s not a lot of distain for the AP’s of my SA WW. Why? I see her as the absolute main source of the adultery. I mean there’s so many, it appears as though the only thing they did was give her attention and flatter her. She took it from there to hook, land and sink that fish.
> 
> If any stand out it’s her LTPA. Her and him discussed at great detail my relationship, my issues, our sex, etc. It is massively emasculating to know she shared each and every thing about us sexually with him and poked fun at it. I hate him for knowing. You know how I write novel responses here? Try that I used to write out everything trying to plead with my wife over our sex life and my unfulfilled fantasies. She kept them in her purse; At the time I thought she did it so she could read it. Nope; It was to share it with her lover... she made copies for him so they could talk about it over the phone. Love letters... everything. Unforgivable.
> 
> ...


She doesn't deserve you Racer - better something than nothing I suppose. That's where I am; she doesn't deserve me but I'm still here. Trouble is the affair taints absolutely everything. Every good memory tainted. You wanna know something? Right now as I type I can look up and see an awesome family photo I arranged at our old home last year. It's a beaut shot of the four of us with our Bangalow palms in the background. Wanna know something else? She was up to her neck in her sordid affair when that shot was taken. That pic is beautiful and tainted.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

PS: no wonder she is smiling grrrr....


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

davecarter said:


> OM#1 went after my wife late last year / early this year after she befriended him and confided in him the state of our marriage at the time.
> He just did what an opportunist 'player' did and talked the talk, said all the right things and my wife subsequently discovered his 'reputation'.
> And that was that. Cut-and-dried-affair situation really....until...
> 
> ...


He also seen it as easy as taking candy from a baby, taking her from you. In his mind he was probably thinking "I don't know what this lame husband is complaining about"


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## radrobe (Jun 17, 2013)

OM#1- Was someone I worked with in the National Guard and later deployed with. He used to make jokes about my wife to me....I assumed they were jokes. He knows I have the right of way everywhere I go in the Guard now and avoids me like the plague. Instant karma got him when he found out his 4 year old was another man's child shortly after our deployment. I'm really glad I didn't find out before my deployment. I don't think I could have been around him for a year in Afghanistan.

OM#2- An ex BF from 12 years ago. They had a couple of hotel rendezvous when I was in Afghanistan. I really feel nothing for this guy.

OM#3- The personal trainer I got my wife before I left. She said she wanted to work out, but was scared she wouldn't be motivated to. I wanted her to lift weights so I got her a personal trainer. I never dreamnt she'd be having sex with him on the floor of the gym's tanning room a week after I returned from a year overseas. Meanwhile I was begging her for sex after being in a war zone for a year.

OM#4- The LTR OM. 18-20 months. Maybe longer as an EA who knows. This is the one STBXW fell in love with.

Who do I hate the most? OM#1. He knew me. He joked with me about my STBXW while we were all working together, KNOWING he had had sex with her doggystyle in the woods in Germany. Oh, and he's the one STBXW said was bigger than me. It will be a challenge not to attack him if I see him. Not because of what he did with STBXW, but because of the unbridled disrespect he showed me.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

radrobe said:


> OM#1- Was someone I worked with in the National Guard and later deployed with. He used to make jokes about my wife to me....I assumed they were jokes. He knows I have the right of way everywhere I go in the Guard now and avoids me like the plague. Instant karma got him when he found out his 4 year old was another man's child shortly after our deployment. I'm really glad I didn't find out before my deployment. I don't think I could have been around him for a year in Afghanistan.


Normal Army stories. I feel for you. Feel for him too, very messy stuff.



radrobe said:


> OM#2- An ex BF from 12 years ago. They had a couple of hotel rendezvous when I was in Afghanistan. I really feel nothing for this guy.


She just had to do something while you were serving the nation. Just great.



radrobe said:


> OM#3- The personal trainer I got my wife before I left. She said she wanted to work out, but was scared she wouldn't be motivated to. I wanted her to lift weights so I got her a personal trainer. I never dreamnt she'd be having sex with him on the floor of the gym's tanning room a week after I returned from a year overseas. Meanwhile I was begging her for sex after being in a war zone for a year.


What a great disrespect out of her for this situation, I mean you can't even leave her in the room with one of your family members. Then she has the nerve to have you begging for sex like a wuss, while she allows the other men to manhandle and pound her.



radrobe said:


> OM#4- The LTR OM. 18-20 months. Maybe longer as an EA who knows. This is the one STBXW fell in love with.
> 
> Who do I hate the most? OM#1. He knew me. He joked with me about my STBXW while we were all working together, KNOWING he had had sex with her doggystyle in the woods in Germany. Oh, and he's the one STBXW said was bigger than me. It will be a challenge not to attack him if I see him. Not because of what he did with STBXW, but because of the unbridled disrespect he showed me.


Just great. I know the unbridled disrespect can build up enough anger for you to kill the chap. Not worth it. The wife wasn't worth it. She's not worth you going to jail or facing consequences for her actions.

I feel for you, and wish I knew for a fact myself that I was out of this cheaters world.


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## radrobe (Jun 17, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Normal Army stories. I feel for you. Feel for him too, very messy stuff.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm over it. I really deserved what I got. I would cheat on my wife on one night stands when I traveled on TDY and didn't think anything of it because I never got caught and it didn't affect things at home when I got back. 

I never thought she'd cheat on me, let alone fall for other men. Stupid and selfish of me.

On hindsight, neither of us was ready to get married and the real tragedy was our kids. Hopefully, in the future we can treat our SOs better than we treated each other.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

radrobe said:


> I'm over it. I really deserved what I got. I would cheat on my wife on one night stands when I traveled on TDY and didn't think anything of it because I never got caught and it didn't affect things at home when I got back.
> 
> I never thought she'd cheat on me, let alone fall for other men. Stupid and selfish of me.
> 
> On hindsight, neither of us was ready to get married and the real tragedy was our kids. Hopefully, in the future we can treat our SOs better than we treated each other.


Ya'll were young. We don't appreciate it until we lose it. And many will still point fingers. Sounds like your ready to man up and be a man of great integrity to the right woman.


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## radrobe (Jun 17, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Ya'll were young. We don't appreciate it until we lose it. And many will still point fingers. Sounds like your ready to man up and be a man of great integrity to the right woman.


I'd like to think so. Its not just a switch you can flip on and off tho. The important thing for me is realizing that not cheating is about respecting your partner, but more importantly respecting yourself. Its so easy to let one's life go on a path of hedonism.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

radrobe said:


> I'd like to think so. Its not just a switch you can flip on and off tho. The important thing for me is realizing that not cheating is about respecting your partner, but more importantly respecting yourself. Its so easy to let one's life go on a path of hedonism.


And you know it all starts up in one single step of the foot...

People in there ( hedonism ) are thinking everyone are liers and cheaters, massive blame and redirection almost think you can't be any other way.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

treyvion said:


> And you know it all starts up in one single step of the foot...
> 
> People in there ( hedonism ) are thinking everyone are liers and cheaters, massive blame and redirection almost think you can't be any other way.
> 
> I'm in a particular dilemma, in that I got alot more "play" with some player up in me, a participant in those hedonism realms. The integrity "game" is different, and seems to be a harder nut for me to crack I feel if i find a like minded person, the rewards will be great, but it's alot of work.


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## davecarter (Aug 15, 2013)

treyvion said:


> He also seen it as easy as taking candy from a baby, taking her from you. In his mind he was probably thinking "I don't know what this lame husband is complaining about"


Yeah. It wasn't me.

The fact I'd told him what my wife had done with OM#1...he just thought, _"Yeah, I can take this cheating WW off the OM"._

And, as snake-like as he was about it...he did it quite effectively. 
Only to dump her almost _immediately _afterwards. :scratchhead:


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

davecarter said:


> Yeah. It wasn't me.
> 
> The fact I'd told him what my wife had done with OM#1...he just thought, _"Yeah, I can take this cheating WW off the OM"._
> 
> ...


He knew how to operate the scenario. He wanted some free sex. He knew exactly what she needed to hear and what she needed to see.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

I place my hatred where it is due.......my pos stbx scuzband. 
I would have to come face to face with a person on death row to find someone more vile than him.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey Asia---forget the AP's, no matter how many there were

Your beef is with one person , and one person only---YOUR partner----that is who is responsible TO YOU------the AP's tho lowlife, and scum, were only aiding and abetting, and along for the ride---the ride YOUR Partner, took with others.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

arbitrator said:


> But I've even heard them say that there are some bad seeds out there among administrators and such of either committing infidelity, or stooping so low as to mess with the kids, and that their administrative policy is to "crack nuts first and ask questions later"; that if they are not setting a good example for the school district with the general public, that they don't need them!



The good thing about dealing with administrators is that they are at will employees. You don't have to deal with the union. No notice, no warning and they are gone for anything that would reflect badly on the district.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

I hate the most pathetic one most of all. I look at her stupidity and I think, how can anyone who appreciates the awesomeness that is me ever want to waste any time on that baboon? I know, it's uncharacteristically nasty of me to say such a thing; but...her behavior was so bimboistically transparent and she was so ugly in every possible way (her soul is like skunk spray) that I feel offended that I have anything in common with her and blame my stbxh for that. She was the one who was throwing herself at stbxh all the time and whose advances he encouraged, but did not reciprocate. She was the one I knew about and was upset that he wouldn't discard. I had no idea that there was real betrayal with other AP's under the surface, just felt consistently insulted by this idiot's behavior and my foolish stbxh's refusal to kick her out of our lives. He masked the other shenanigans with this twit and gas-lit me like crazy based on these interactions.

This thread topic was a great question; got me thinking about why I feel what I feel. Thanks.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

moxy said:


> I hate the most pathetic one most of all. I look at her stupidity and I think, how can anyone who appreciates the awesomeness that is me ever want to waste any time on that baboon? I know, it's uncharacteristically nasty of me to say such a thing; but...her behavior was so bimboistically transparent and she was so ugly in every possible way (her soul is like skunk spray) that I feel offended that I have anything in common with her and blame my stbxh for that. She was the one who was throwing herself at stbxh all the time and whose advances he encouraged, but did not reciprocate. She was the one I knew about and was upset that he wouldn't discard. I had no idea that there was real betrayal with other AP's under the surface, just felt consistently insulted by this idiot's behavior and my foolish stbxh's refusal to kick her out of our lives. He masked the other shenanigans with this twit and gas-lit me like crazy based on these interactions.
> 
> This thread topic was a great question; got me thinking about why I feel what I feel. Thanks.


It's good that you didn't blame yourself like many here do. You gave her the credit of using "bimbo logic".


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