# What to do!?



## JaimeLynn621 (Apr 8, 2014)

I am new on here and need suggestions because I am clearly hitting walls here. So actually it's not us that have the problem its his brother. My fiancé (were newly engaged btw) and his brothers are close. One of his brothers is an drug addict and I am getting concerned it will start effecting our lives as a couple. 

Here's the backstory, My fiancé has 2 brothers. One who is amazing and whom I am very close to his other not so much... He is basically homeless, hasn't had a job in over 3 years and has NO plans to get one and even brags about the fact that he feels he doesn't need to work. Is addicted to several different drugs ranging but one in particular is his favorite (hint:involves a needle) and has spent the last few years of his life in and out jail. Recently. my fiancé's father passed away  and it has been a hard time on him and both of his brothers. I am afraid the drug addicted brother is getting much worse due to this. The father had money set aside for them to divide equally between them (hard to with 3!) My fiancé and his other brother still have most of that money his other one has blown it all. 

Anyways back to my point, his brother is constantly calling my fiancé and harassing him how he needs more money and this and that. Even goes as far as showing up at my fiancé's work to harass him more. He hasn't come to our house and bothered me yet but I am afraid that's next and my fiancé being the self proclaimed "fixer" and "big heart" of the family doesn't seem to have the heart to be working faster on this issue with his brother. I try suggesting things but I am not sure what else I can do... Any ideas. I am terrified that his brother will weasel his way in to our relationship and make us have unplanned arguments and fights. Were so happy right now we just got engaged its really hard dealing with this.


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## discontinued (Apr 9, 2014)

I have been in the same boat. This is his brother we are talking about. He don't leave. My brother inlaw has threaten me, Broken into my garage, Rob his mothers bank account, Drove his car through a store, broken into his mothers house. Drugs don't go away unless the person is forced to stop. Good luck run when you can.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Talk with your H about your fears. They are founded. He may be his brother, but he is also a drug addict. It is not uncommon for deceptive or violent behavior to start as they do anything they can to get that next fix.

Establish some boundaries. Like, he can't come to the house. Or maybe not come over if your H isn't home. Whatever boundary you set, establish what the outcome will be if the brother violates the boundary. Do you call H at work, a trusted neighbor or the police. 

Talking about it with your H first will alliviate the gut impulse, 'why did you call the cops on my brother' reaction. If it gets that far, he will already know you did it because you feared for your saftey, your kids safety or the safety of his brother. 

As long as you and your H are on the same page any bizzare actions taken by the brother won't interfere with your relationship.


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