# tax refund disagreement



## cntrygrlkk (Dec 13, 2010)

My husband and I cannot agree on how to divide our tax refund. We have only been married since Sept. 2010 and we have a daughter together. He doesn't make that much money. He helps as much as he can but I pay most of the bills, he tries to pay half but that doesn't happen often. Needless to say he doesn't have any extra money for anything. I am a stay at home mother and a full time student and I recieve social sercurity and a pension from my exfiance that passed away. Me and my exfiance had a daughter as well. My H thinks that we should split all the money 50/50. I don't agree, I have had to use some of my little girls savings for unexpected expenses and I want to put back every penny that I, I mean we spent. I also feel that it is not fair for him not to have to worry about how all the extra things get paid for and when he gets a little bit of money he runs with it to do as he pleases, but I am having to spend all my money and savings to get by. I don't mind helping him, but he thinks that because he works at a public job, he should get all the money back that he paid in taxes. 

He also thinks that he should get all the money that we get as an exemption for his daughter but he has not done his part in taking care of her. He has never bought her formula or clothes, got up with her ever, gave her a bath or anything. I really don't want to give him any but I told him I would split it but I think it would be best if we put it in savings.

I'm just angry that he will spend my money like crazy but when he has some extra he hides it and tells me he doesn't have any.

He has also said that if anything needs fixing around the house it is my financial responsibility since it was that way before he moved in. 

I just don't know what to do, I told him to go ahead and file his taxes separetly and whatever he gets he can keep but then he asks for his daughters social security number and I don't think he deserves to claim her. We argue about this daily and it is driving me crazy.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I honestly think you've got bigger problems than how to divide the tax refund check. It's probably in your best interest to file a joint tax return. At the moment the fairest way to divide the refund would be based on an income percentage.

You should determine what portion of the expenses belong to your daughter (which you are receiving SS benefits for). That amount should go toward the family budget. Then what is left over should go to an account for her future education. Her money should never be split 50/50 with the new husband.


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## Mstanton (Feb 8, 2011)

827Aug said:


> I honestly think you've got bigger problems than how to divide the tax refund check. It's probably in your best interest to file a joint tax return. At the moment the fairest way to divide the refund would be based on an income percentage.
> 
> You should determine what portion of the expenses belong to your daughter (which you are receiving SS benefits for). That amount should go toward the family budget. Then what is left over should go to an account for her future education. Her money should never be split 50/50 with the new husband.


^^
This.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Different people have different view of marital assets and liabilities. DH and I chose that when we said love and cherish until death do us part, the easiest way to avoid his an her money squabbles was to assume that everything we own, we own together and everything we owe, we owe together. We make up a monthly budget with total in, list every expense, savings goal... NO money hides. There is a line item on the budget personal spending for each person. DH's is a little higher than mine because he works outside of the house and winds up with more incidentals than I do.

If it really IS a money issue, then perhaps this can solve your problems. 

I think you have bigger fish to fry, frankly, than money. Money is a family asset, not something you get paid for for buying your kid groceries. If you have issues with the division of labor, face THAT. If he is hiding things, that seems like a pretty big red flag to me. Face THAT. But micromanaging the pennies in a marriage strikes me as a recipe for disaster.


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## moonangel (Jan 19, 2011)

827aug and vthome both have great answers. 

My question is why do you have to split the refund? Can't you two just agree on how to spend/save it? Maybe you two need to sit down and talk/plan your finances.


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