# Wife had major setback this week.



## Looking2Change (Jul 24, 2016)

First of all I changed my user name. 


My wife and I have had a rocky relationship the past 2 years. Aside from that in May she contracted Lyme Disease. This has nearly completely destroyed our relationship and I was ready to leave because of all the problems we were having. The issues we had prior to the Lyme were compounded etc. Anyways, we are working at fixing things and communicating better etc.

This week started out great. On Monday and Tuesday she felt great. The past several weeks have had her seeing consistent improvement. Then, Tuesday night hit and she had a relapse. She took Wednesday off of work because she couldn't function and went in late today. She's struggling with the initial symptoms she had when things were at their strongest. Hopefully, it's nothing that is going to last.

We had to go outside our medical insurance to find a Lyme Specialist. Luckily, we have her 1 month follow up with him tomorrow morning so hopefully we can get some additional answers etc. The emotional impact this has had on her is the worst part. She's starting to get depressed about being sick all the time and wondering if she's ever going to recover from this and how to stay positive.

Any advice on keeping her focused on getting better?


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Glad to read you are now focused on your wife. What are the symptoms?

There is a caregiver thread you might want to read.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Tell her that most cases will get better within a month after antibiotic dosing. Two months is tops for 98% of cases.

Having a known time line is comforting to a sick person. Two or three weeks usually kills off the bacteria. You can be re-infected......beware.

If the bacterium damaged her Neurological System, persistent side effects could continue for a long time. Hopefully, this is not the case.


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## Looking2Change (Jul 24, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Tell her that most cases will get better within a month after antibiotic dosing. Two months is tops for 98% of cases.
> 
> Having a known time line is comforting to a sick person. Two or three weeks usually kills off the bacteria. You can be re-infected......beware.
> 
> If the bacterium damaged her Neurological System, persistent side effects could continue for a long time. Hopefully, this is not the case.


Unfortunately, she has the neurological side effects and Lyme. She's been on Antibiotics for a little over 2 months now. Her doctor won't take her off until she is a solid month symptom free. So far she's feeling better today.

we obviously have to take things day by day and I can't believe how long this crap sticks around even when properly treated. Hopefully it doesn't become a chronic case of Lyme where she has it for her entire life.

I know if/when she recovers from this she will see things in a new light and be able to be so much happier. Praying this day comes sooner than later for her.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Looking2Change said:


> First of all I changed my user name.
> 
> 
> My wife and I have had a rocky relationship the past 2 years. Aside from that in May she contracted Lyme Disease. This has nearly completely destroyed our relationship and I was ready to leave because of all the problems we were having. The issues we had prior to the Lyme were compounded etc. Anyways, we are working at fixing things and communicating better etc.
> ...


No, but I have some advice for you. Be the husband she needs and the hero she deserves.

And yes, living with a sick spouse who needs a lot of help and attention can be tough. But "In sickness and in health" should be our motto. Yeah. *Our* motto. My wife has been through some pretty bad times with her health. 

So, we just man up or woman up and look after them. Why? Because we love them and it's the right thing to do. :smthumbup:


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

I have lived with a very sick wife for 4 years. She will need/want your for emotional support. Empathize with her pain. Listen to her vent. Don't always try to fix it. Sometimes just say you are sorry she is feeling bad and give her a hug. Validate her feelings. 

Let's just say I failed MISERABLY at doing all of that. I did all the wrong things. I tried to FIX everything. My advice is still sound, even if I have trouble doing it.


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## heartbroken50 (Aug 9, 2016)

And definitely join us in the Caregiver's Thread in the private section.... it's wonderful to be able to lean on each other since the caregiver/patient dynamic can really affect the health of our marriages.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Looking2Change said:


> Unfortunately, she has the neurological side effects and Lyme. She's been on Antibiotics for a little over 2 months now. Her doctor won't take her off until she is a solid month symptom free. So far she's feeling better today.
> 
> we obviously have to take things day by day and I can't believe how long this crap sticks around even when properly treated. Hopefully it doesn't become a chronic case of Lyme where she has it for her entire life.
> 
> I know if/when she recovers from this she will see things in a new light and be able to be so much happier. Praying this day comes sooner than later for her.


The long courses of antibiotics themselves can be a problem. They kill lots of bacteria, including the good kind that we need in our digestive tracts. The antibiotics also kill the "weaker" bad bacteria, leaving the stronger and more antibiotic-resistant bacteria to thrive. It's such a catch-22 as far as treatment. You and your wife have my sympathies as I have known others who have suffered from Lyme. Recovery can be a years-long process when there is neuro damage. I wish you well.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

Looking2Change said:


> Unfortunately, she has the neurological side effects and Lyme. She's been on Antibiotics for a little over 2 months now. Her doctor won't take her off until she is a solid month symptom free. So far she's feeling better today.
> 
> we obviously have to take things day by day and I can't believe how long this crap sticks around even when properly treated. Hopefully it doesn't become a chronic case of Lyme where she has it for her entire life.
> 
> I know if/when she recovers from this she will see things in a new light and be able to be so much happier. Praying this day comes sooner than later for her.


If she already has neurological symptoms then she already has chronic Lyme's disease. neuro-lyme disease is a chronic form of Lyme's disease.

Once you start getting neurological symptoms there are fewer treatments (or if it all other than the symptoms rather than the disease) available.

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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> No, but I have some advice for you. Be the husband she needs and the hero she deserves.
> 
> And yes, living with a sick spouse who needs a lot of help and attention can be tough. But "In sickness and in health" should be our motto. Yeah. *Our* motto. My wife has been through some pretty bad times with her health.
> 
> So, we just man up or woman up and look after them. Why? Because we love them and it's the right thing to do. :smthumbup:


It's not just a matter that she is sick. According to OP she has been checked out of the marriage for years. No sex, she has let herself go...she has basically been coasting while OP has begged her to work on the marriage. She's a lazy spouse who doesn't want to change. 

When she gets well, he needs to leave her as he planned.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/lyme/lyme.htm

Lyme's disease is caused by a bacterium that falls under the genus of spirochetes. Very difficult bacteria to battle. There are two bacterium strains that can cause Lyme's disease:

Borrelia Burgdoferi
Borrelia mayonii (new strain, just discovered and is a "cousin" of Burgdoferi).

http://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2016/p0208-lyme-disease.html


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## Looking2Change (Jul 24, 2016)

We had her appointment this morning and her doctor said it's GREAT that she had the setback this week. He said that's a sign that everything is working. He mentioned that the Lyme Bacteria can lay dormant and resistant to antibiotics until it starts to try to expand. When it does that's when the bacteria is open for the antibiotics to kill it. The result is that she will Herx again which means the antibiotics are working. He is starting her on a treatment for a co-infection as well and he said she will have a fairly short recovery and that everything is progressing for her exactly as they would want. well, Minus the yeast infections.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

The yeast infection is a result of the heavy antibiotics.

Yoghurt...it works.

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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Has her Dr. put he on probiotics and other supplements for the yeast overgrowth? There are a lot of natural non toxic ways to deal with it.


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## Looking2Change (Jul 24, 2016)

kristin2349 said:


> Has her Dr. put he on probiotics and other supplements for the yeast overgrowth? There are a lot of natural non toxic ways to deal with it.


Yes, he has her on a heavy duty probiotic but it still hasn't stopped the yeast problem. After todays visit he put her on something in addition to the probiotics so it should prevent the yeast infections altogether. He said no reason to have to continue to deal with the yeast infections. 

Hopefully this will work and we can actually start having sex again. I'm ready to explode after going 3 months without sex. It may sound selfish but at the end of the day I still have needs of my own.


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