# Abject visual arousal



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Ladies, do you experience abject visual arousal? This would be when you see something and you feel sexual arousal in your body, whether you wanted to or not.

Versus organic arousal, which would be when your body just gets aroused for no real reason other than bodies do that sort of thing.

And versus mental arousal, which is when you read or experience something or fantasize about something that sends your body an arousal zing.

I'm asking about abject visual arousal. It is abject only because you had no control over what you saw, it came out of nowhere, you weren't expecting it. It may have been welcomed or not, either way, you had nothing to do with seeing whatever caused the arousal, and the arousal "just happens" without your conscious effort or ability to stop it (from starting at least). 

If you were perusing through an eye candy page, that's not abject. But if an unexpected hottie pic shows up somewhere that you can't not see it, that is abject. Do you feel arousal when that happens?

Another question, do you feel arousal in your body when seeing your husband nekkid or when you start making out, or at another time during foreplay or sex, or only when your body gets stimulated, or maybe not at all?

I guess arousal may feel different to all of us, but strong sexual arousal of the type I'm talking about usually includes blood flowing into the clitoris region and a familiar rise that comes with that, plus blood pumping in general and inside the vag coming to life a bit.

I'm not talking about desire, just arousal.

I think we know in general that guys feel abject arousal a lot (especially young guys). Do we?


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I don't know but your questions made me feel all.... tingly.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

No.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

No to abject arousal.

Yes to husband arousal. When he has been away on a business trip I can hear his key in the door and go from 0 to 100 in arousal.

I'm getting aroused right now just typing this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

No.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

How do you tell the difference between abject visual arousal and organic arousal?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

always_alone said:


> How do you tell the difference between abject visual arousal and organic arousal?


Abject visual arousal is when you weren't feeling any arousal at all, and you see something that suddenly causes arousal without you being able to stop it and without your engagement in trying to cause it.

Organic arousal being just something that happens in your body that isn't connected to the sight or thought of another person.


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

Faithful Wife said:


> Another question, do you feel arousal in your body when seeing your husband nekkid or *when you start making out, or at another time during foreplay or sex*, or only when your body gets stimulated, or maybe not at all?


Yes to abject arousal. Especially during ovulation time of month. I can walk past a man with a certain cologne on and get tingly. Or see a nice bicep out a car window. Or a picture of Channing Tatum. Etc. 

But the part I bolded really confused me. Who doesn't get aroused during making out, foreplay or sex?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

SARAHMCD said:


> But the part I bolded really confused me. Who doesn't get aroused during making out, foreplay or sex?


I've heard that some women don't experience arousal until they are being directly stimulated.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> I think we know in general that guys feel abject arousal a lot (especially young guys).


Not any more


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> I've heard that some women don't experience arousal until they are being directly stimulated.


I've had women claim this is true, and maybe it is, but I've caught most of them drooling over some guy's looks at some point.

I'm just lucky sometimes it was me.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

marduk said:


> I've had women claim this is true, and maybe it is, but I've caught most of them drooling over some guy's looks at some point.


But you don't know if they felt arousal in their lady bits or not.

I can drool over lots of people and images and not feel even a twinge of arousal in my bod. It all depends on various factors for me.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> But you don't know if they felt arousal in their lady bits or not.
> 
> I can drool over lots of people and images and not feel even a twinge of arousal in my bod. It all depends on various factors for me.


Is this akin to me watching he Victoria's Secret fashion show, thinking they are hot, and not getting physically aroused?

If so, I get what you're asking now. It's like walking into a strip bar and not pitching a tent.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Yes.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Good question. Ive often wondered about this and been frustrated about this with my wife.

Organic for us men would be morning wood for example. Body does it to "work out" the penis so to speak.
Abject visual is for me plenty seeing my wife naked and getting an erection or at least starting too.

Organic still happens plenty for me thankfully. Abject visual still does but I would have to admit likely not as easily or instantly as in my twenties.

And I guess from hearing a few ladies responses on here I shouldnt be that hurt if my wife isnt all tingly ready to go if I walk past her naked going to take a shower etc.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

This is a very interesting thread that I wish was getting more attention.

I wonder if female genitalia have a sexual response to visual stimulation before women are even aware of a tingle.

There have been tests that show women have more of a sexual response to visual stimulation, at least in the genital region, than men.

When questioned, many women denied feeling any arousal to several images or videos that their vaginas very certainly did have a sexual response to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Abject visual arousal is when you weren't feeling any arousal at all, and you see something that suddenly causes arousal without you being able to stop it and without your engagement in trying to cause it.
> 
> Organic arousal being just something that happens in your body that isn't connected to the sight or thought of another person.


I still have trouble sorting them out, TBH. I often feel organic arousal --at least I think I do. But maybe it was triggered by something I saw, or smelled, or thought. Hard to tell.

I can get a little charge out of the surprise visuals, but I often feel arousal with no obvious source of inspiration.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

The most complicated human organ has to be the female vagina....

The thing has a mind of it's own and most woman I've dated have no clue what going on with their own half the time.

When I has a teenager I could walk by a cute girl in the hall at high school and become fully aroused immediately.

It's not that bad now but I do still respond to abject visual arousal frequently. Especially when I encounter new visual stimulation.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

always_alone said:


> I still have trouble sorting them out, TBH. I often feel organic arousal --at least I think I do. *But maybe it was triggered by something I saw, or smelled, or thought*. Hard to tell.
> 
> I can get a little charge out of the surprise visuals, but I often feel arousal with no obvious source of inspiration.


Unless you were actively working to encourage arousal (in your mind or by looking at something or by stimulation) then I'd call that organic arousal...even if something tangently helped cause it.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Alright then guys...how often do you feel abject visual arousal? Please also give your age if you answer. 

Again this means then the visual stimulus popped into your awareness without you seeking it, and you involuntarily feel physical arousal at the sight of it.

It may not be that you experienced a total erection...maybe just a flutter. But please specify.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Alright then guys...how often do you feel abject visual arousal? Please also give your age if you answer.
> 
> Again this means then the visual stimulus popped into your awareness without you seeking it, and you involuntarily feel physical arousal at the sight of it.
> 
> It may not be that you experienced a total erection...maybe just a flutter. But please specify.


39 male here.

The tricky part here is not seeking it.> That would usually be my wife naked to take a shower. So maybe not likely a total erection unless she does some posing for me indicating interest for later, but a flutter at least when I see her.

As I get older I find I get aroused much more in my mind. By thinking of making love to my wife. As ive matured I think I am less apt to "get wood" from simply seeing a sexy coed bend over in front of me for example. I am however almost constantly thinking of "wow I sure would love to make love/[email protected] to my wife later" Guess not too old yet. :smthumbup:


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> Alright then guys...how often do you feel abject visual arousal? Please also give your age if you answer.
> 
> Again this means then the visual stimulus popped into your awareness without you seeking it, and you involuntarily feel physical arousal at the sight of it.
> 
> It may not be that you experienced a total erection...maybe just a flutter. But please specify.


This happens to me about 900 times a day.

Can you be more specific?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

marduk said:


> This happens to me about 900 times a day.
> 
> Can you be more specific?


Do you get an erection 900 times a day? Or just feel a little blood flowing? And what kinds of visual stimulus causes it? Only live women, or are that many images somehow intruding on you a day, unexpected?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> Do you get an erection 900 times a day? Or just feel a little blood flowing? And what kinds of visual stimulus causes it? Only live women, or are that many images somehow intruding on you a day, unexpected?


All of the above. I don't get wood from passing thoughts or women or anything like that -- but I do get stimulated to various degrees of arousal.

Some is purely mental, some triggers a thought of what I want to do with my wife later on, or have her wear, or whatever.

Thoughts pop in by themselves depending on how hard I'm focused on work or whatever I'm doing. Some days nothing can intrude at all, I won't even notice some random hot woman or even some days my wife at all -- stress is what it is. But those days are maybe a few days a month.

Average day it could be a thought that pops in my head, a hot woman walking by, or even an outfit worn by a non-hot woman that I would think looks really good on my wife.

I'm not 16 any more, I can control my physical arousal without it even hitting my consciousness.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Aside from thoughts, just talking about visual stimulus...when you say you can control your physical arousal, do you feel it first and then control it? Or by controlling it do you mean that you can numb it down and not physically feel it at all, but you are aware the arousal would have occurred if you had not controlled it?


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> Aside from thoughts, just talking about visual stimulus...when you say you can control your physical arousal, do you feel it first and then control it? Or by controlling it do you mean that you can numb it down and not physically feel it at all, but you are aware the arousal would have occurred if you had not controlled it?


I think in my later teens I learned how to control it instinctively in inappropriate situations.

Every teenage boy has the nightmare turned reality of having to draw something on the chalkboard sporting wood from the hottie sitting next to him, right?

I don't think it requires conscious intervention any more.

But I do notice the first signs of arousal -- a sense of awareness about it, you know?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

It's highly tied to mood for me. If I'm in a good mood, I get a flutter. No tent pitching or anything. If I'm NOT in a good mood, there could be a naked Swedish conga line prancing by me and nothing would be happening.


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## lifeisbetterthanalternat (Apr 24, 2012)

Faithful, this is a very fascinating topic. I am surprised too at the lack of participation an you thread. As another poster indictated, there was an experiment where men and women were each exposed to different visual stimuli. The net was that the women WERE aroused yet denied it. people can google it if they want more info I believe it was kinsey that did the study. 

You use the word "abject" which has a specific connotation. I wonder if you would get another type of response if the thread was titled "unintentional" arousal. 

FWIW my wife has admitted to visual arousal though it is not clear if it is abject though it seems to be unitentional. I know this happens with movies/television shows. I am not sure if it happens on the street or if she would be totally honest about it but, I have to assume if it can happen on the screen it would happen in real life.

I wonder even a anonymous board if women would not want to admit this...


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I might be in the minority but I'll respond anyway. My response to abject visual stimuli is maybe odd for a woman. (Did I say that right??)
It makes me think maybe I'm a touch bi-sexual?! Anyway, I definitely get turned on by visuals, but usually it's another woman that does it, not a man. 

First of all, when I see an attractive man, I usually recognize that, yes, he's hot and it registers intellectually. 
It almost never goes beyond that...unless I'm ovulating. Then I'm just generally horny all the time & any attractive person sends tingles through me.

Assuming I am not ovulating, if he talks to me and gets my mind going, THEN he might become physically arousing to me. 

For the most part, I separate thoughts from feeling things physically, when it comes to men.
I'm guessing I have learned to do this in order to not have inappropriate thoughts about other men, besides my husband. 

Just to see my husband doesn't really arouse me either! That sounds terrible! However, all he needs to do is touch me or say something sexy to me and the arousal floods me pretty quickly: )

Here's the weird part to me. When I see an attractive woman, I totally feel a rush of horniness through my body. That's kind of embarrassing to admit, but women can totally turn me on just by looking at them. 
My guess about that is maybe my subconscious feels safe allowing that because I try not to allow those feelings for other men. Does that make sense?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I have experienced abject visual arousal many times. Out of nowhere I see something that triggers arousal that I can feel in my lady parts. I've also experienced arousal through scent, which was really surprising. However, these moments happened during a time in my life when my libido was extremely strong and spontaneous. I think I spent several years always being slightly aroused and some of that time period I might spend several days in a row being aroused. Like my clit never went to sleep. Sex was always on my mind, my body was sending signals constantly. As a result, I think I carried myself in a more overtly sexual way without realizing it.

Recently my libido took a nose dive and for a time I couldn't become aroused no matter how much I tried. Now my libido is coming back but it's still not as strong as it once was. I have much more control over my libido now. I can ignore arousal and it will go away, or I can focus on it and it will get stronger.

I liked it better when my arousal was constant.


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## LainyLove22 (Aug 22, 2015)

When I'm in a sexy mood and feeling naughty like a few days prior to my period I've become very , very aroused for such simple things. 

Once while waiting on like ay Wholefoods I got a wiff of this clean yet manly cologne which got me tingly all over !!!??? I had no clue which guy was wearing it but OMG I was very horny when I got home and was hubby very happy that I was


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

During my high drive phase.. Abject visual arousal was ALL OVER ME.. couldn't control it.. was enjoying that ... but it was very distracting at the same time.. sex overload on the brain.... I had some sort of hormonal surge that wasn't letting go.. truth be told... I enjoyed "feeding it".... had I had an unwilling partner who didn't want to go for a ride though.. when he was around.. I'd have been terribly terribly frustrated !! During that time I was pretty aggressive coming after him.. though he was loving that. 

These days.. it needs worked UP... but back then.. anything I looked at.. for instance.. a photo like this (I remember French Fry putting one on TAM similar)....







... literally I felt this immediate pleasurable pulsation shooting down my body to my private parts....yeah just an image!... 

During that time.. also felt this way -about my husband's body.. it was certainly something heightened in my senses during this hormonal phase... I needed no foreplay at all ...ready to go ! 

Also hearing a song -sexual in nature... OH my... this did it too.. that one by Saving Abel "addicted" .. that would send shivers down my spine. 

Before this even (all my life)....scenes in a movie, hot guy, erotic scene... something I read, steamy romance pages.. could flip the switch pretty easily.. to where I was all worked up.. always initiated the husband when this happened.


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## honeysuckle04 (Jan 25, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> Ladies, do you experience abject visual arousal? This would be when you see something and you feel sexual arousal in your body, whether you wanted to or not.
> 
> Versus organic arousal, which would be when your body just gets aroused for no real reason other than bodies do that sort of thing.
> 
> ...


To add to the poll:
To abject visual arousal-yes
To organ arousal-yes
To mental arousal-yes

To h naked-NO.
To foreplay/sex/other stimulation-yes


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> This is a very interesting thread that I wish was getting more attention.
> 
> I wonder if female genitalia have a sexual response to visual stimulation before women are even aware of a tingle.
> 
> ...


I have read studies where they measure blood flow to a mans penis with some tool/ring that measure even the smallest change. Not sure how they do this with women but there has to be some way.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

There have been studies done to test female sexual response using a sensor sticky thing on the subjects clitoris. Ran dome images were shown for a preselected time period and sexual arousal was measured by increased blood flow (blood pressure in that area, temperature in that area, and swelling in the area) by the sensors. They also used a second sensor inside the vagina to measure for the same things. When I get more time I'll hunt around for the actual study and link it here.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> There have been studies done to test female sexual response using a sensor sticky thing on the subjects clitoris. Ran dome images were shown for a preselected time period and sexual arousal was measured by increased blood flow (blood pressure in that area, temperature in that area, and swelling in the area) by the sensors. They also used a second sensor inside the vagina to measure for the same things. When I get more time I'll hunt around for the actual study and link it here.


Thank you Anon. I'm too damned lazy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Alright then guys...how often do you feel abject visual arousal? Please also give your age if you answer.
> 
> Again this means then the visual stimulus popped into your awareness without you seeking it, and you involuntarily feel physical arousal at the sight of it.
> 
> It may not be that you experienced a total erection...maybe just a flutter. But please specify.



It has happened a few times (not many) in the past, but more often than not it just meant I would release these feelings with my wife. Other times, it would just pass as time goes on. Tingling and arousal is a limbic reaction, acting out on these still requires my walnut size cognitive brain to be fully engaged. 

Unlike some of the men here, I'm almost positive I have *never *aroused these same responses in a female counterpart, unless I'm totally clueless.


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

40 yr. old married woman here and I definitely feel aroused when I see someone I find attractive. More so in the past couple years, since my marriage has been heading toward sexless. Not sure if it is coincidence or causation.

I am highly aroused by physically attractive women and much less so by physically attractive men. 

Men, for me, need to have more than looks to get a "rise" out of me. A man can even be ugly by most societal standards (obese, deep acne, jobless, wears sweatpants in public, etc.) but I could still be attracted to him if he had a unique sense of humor, is artistic or is someone I believe is my intellectual superior. The intellect is huge for me, as I am married to a man who thinks TV shows about buying abandoned storage lockers is fascinating. A male who is no more than a pretty face disinterests me.

Now women, they seem so exotic and delicious, even though I _am_ one myself. I, of course, am more attracted to women with a complimentary personality, but so many of them are so achingly beautiful that I find myself distracted more and more lately by them in a way men never were for me. Sometimes, it's to the point that I am intentionally _less_ friendly on the off chance that they might be interested in more than platonic friendship. Recently I have had to move my seat in daily Mass a few times because there is a woman there I am so attracted to that if she is in my line of sight I cannot pay attention to a word the Priest says.

I feel I am ripe for an affair (which somehow seems somehow less evil than an affair with another man), which is off the topic but may be the key to why I feel as strongly this way.

There are times where I feel aroused for no particular reason but they usually fall around ovulation and just before I menstruate. Seems like normal hormonal arousal to me.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Cara said:


> 40 yr. old married woman here and I definitely feel aroused when I see someone I find attractive. More so in the past couple years, since my marriage has been heading toward sexless. Not sure if it is coincidence or causation.
> 
> I am highly aroused by physically attractive women and much less so by physically attractive men.
> 
> ...


WOW! Have you always had bi-sexual attractions?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

I have but, and I feel really dumb admitting this, I chose to block that part of myself off when I was little because my mom made such a huge deal of her support of gay issues/rights ( it was almost obsessive) that I felt like it was something I needed to hide from her. Like if she knew it would be my only identity to her.

(I also hid the fact that I had begun mensturating from her for months because she made such an ordeal of getting ready for it to happen.?)


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## stormydays (May 31, 2013)

Do you mean object arousal? Abject means wretched or pitiful ...


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## lifeisbetterthanalternat (Apr 24, 2012)

Cara said:


> 40 yr. old married woman here and I definitely feel aroused when I see someone I find attractive. More so in the past couple years, since my marriage has been heading toward sexless. Not sure if it is coincidence or causation.
> 
> I am highly aroused by physically attractive women and much less so by physically attractive men.
> 
> ...


It is interesting that you and Karma girl indicate that you are aroused visually by other women. This is what I have I have long known about my wife but, she for the most part has been reluctant to admit. She shows signs of being clearly aroused by the sight of women but, will largely deny it when I ask her about it. Even recently she referenced a busty women on tv saying "she wanted to lick her tits" and "loved natural breasts". She usually makes these comments like this after a couple glasses of wine. If I bring it up later she will say she does it to get a rise out of me (like she is joking). 

I think deep down in side she is not OK with it on some level otherwise why would she deny it?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

stormydays said:


> Do you mean object arousal? Abject means wretched or pitiful ...


Hmm...you are right, abject is not the correct word for it. I just meant it in the way that most things that are abject are not chosen, they are thrust upon you. But in this case, the arousal certainly wouldn't have to be unpleasant.

Not sure what the correct word to use is, but if someone comes up with one, I will change the thread name.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Hmm...you are right, abject is not the correct word for it. I just meant it in the way that most things that are abject are not chosen, they are thrust upon you. But in this case, the arousal certainly wouldn't have to be unpleasant.
> 
> 
> 
> Not sure what the correct word to use is, but if someone comes up with one, I will change the thread name.



That's ok FW, many a women have abject arousal toward me.


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

lifeisbetterthanalternat said:


> It is interesting that you and Karma girl indicate that you are aroused visually by other women. This is what I have I have long known about my wife but, *she for the most part has been reluctant to admit.* She shows signs of being clearly aroused by the sight of women but, will largely deny it when I ask her about it. Even recently she referenced a busty women on tv saying "she wanted to lick her tits" and "loved natural breasts". She usually makes these comments like this after a couple glasses of wine. If I bring it up later she will say she does it to get a rise out of me (like she is joking).
> 
> I think deep down in side she is not OK with it on some level otherwise why would she deny it?


I hear you about the reluctance to admit arousal by women for women. 

To prove the point, how many times have you been at a nightclub on, say, _80's night_ and seen what happens to bored housewives or college girls or bachelorette parties or any group of women without their SOs after a few shots of watermelon Pucker? Those chicks grope and make out with each other like the world is gonna end tomorrow.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

No, no abject arousal here.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> Another question, do you feel arousal in your body when seeing your husband nekkid or when you start making out, or at another time during foreplay or sex, or only when your body gets stimulated, or maybe not at all?


It may well depend on the day, on the moment. 

This morning, my husband strolled naked out of the bathroom and was heading to the walk-in robe. I commented on how good his body looks. For what it's worth, he doesn't hit the gym but he's been doing a lot of yard work. He chuckled and thanked me. I followed him into the walk-in and dropped to my knees. In that moment, I wasn't physically aroused upon seeing him but I was feeling a sense of desire and appreciation for him and his nakedness. My physical arousal occurred upon hearing his voice/moans, the excitement he was feeling and the touch between us.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

FrenchFry said:


> hb, I totally think that you experience qualifies as:


It was inspiration that initially occurred; not arousal. 

The arousal came after. Pun intended.


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## lifeisbetterthanalternat (Apr 24, 2012)

I am with HB. 

My wife may be aroused visually by the likes of castmembers of MAJIC MIKE or a beautiful women, but like HB, i think she would be aroused much more by kiss or touch than seeing me.


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