# Really confused



## Greg0327 (Oct 26, 2015)

My wife and I have been separated for 3 months now. My wife moved and got an apartment when the separation started. We have not spoken by phone or haven't seen each other since then either except for the occasional text or email. We have no children except a dog which I keep with me. After 3 weeks of separation, I asked her if she wanted to work on the marriage and she said no and that she was much better off and much happier so I left it as that. I made divorce papers but haven't filed them hoping to still work things out. I stopped emailing her and texting her but for some reason she continues to email me asking how I am and asked about the dog. To give her and myself space, I blocked her email but she created another email just so she could reach me. She again asked how I was doing and thought it wasn't nice to block her email. I blocked her also because she blocked me and listed herself as single on Face book. After a little while, I again sent her a email to see if she wanted to work on our marriage but this time no reply. What to do?


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

The answer is obvious. She isn't interested in you.

File and get it over with.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Greg0327 said:


> My wife and I have been separated for 3 months now. My wife moved and got an apartment when the separation started. We have not spoken by phone or haven't seen each other since then either except for the occasional text or email. We have no children except a dog which I keep with me. After 3 weeks of separation, I asked her if she wanted to work on the marriage and she said no and that she was much better off and much happier so I left it as that. I made divorce papers but haven't filed them hoping to still work things out. I stopped emailing her and texting her but for some reason she continues to email me asking how I am and asked about the dog. To give her and myself space, I blocked her email but she created another email just so she could reach me. She again asked how I was doing and thought it wasn't nice to block her email. I blocked her also because she blocked me and listed herself as single on Face book. After a little while, I again sent her a email to see if she wanted to work on our marriage but this time no reply. What to do?


She's given you her answer. File for divorce.

If you're looking to block her completely, you may have to go whole hog and change your e-mail address(es), phone number(s), etc.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

What are you confused about?

-she moved out
-she told you she was better off
-she told you she doesn't want to work on the marriage
-you blocker her emails and broke facebook contact
-when you asked a second time if she wanted to work on the marriage she didn't even respond

Sounds pretty cut and dry to me... marriage is over. Just tell her you're filing the divorce paperwork (or have your attorney contact her).


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Why am I reminded of this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkcKQmr7kRc


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

What ground rules did you set and time frame. If you haven't done so, she has defacto divorced you, but you are both on the hook for each other's legal debt among other things. So yes file ! File ASP !!

Could use some more background info, but that would be more of a postmortem


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## Greg0327 (Oct 26, 2015)

She finally relied to my email, she said she needs time alone to think


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You have two choices.

Live in limbo or file.

She moved out and is feeding you breadcrumbs.

She's probably dating or has an OM. Hence the probably true reason for separation.

Is there more you can share? Your details are a bit sketchy. Why the separation?


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## Greg0327 (Oct 26, 2015)

Well because she didn't like when my job transferred me to Illinois. She moved back to Pennsylvania last January, stayed with my mother and we been living separated since then except for the vacation days I took to visit with her. September is when she said she wanted a separation after I was trying to get her to move back, I told her to move out of my mothers house which she did. She also gave me back my car which I am currently selling to pay off the credit cards she left with me with. She opened another bank account and cancelled her health insurance that was on my work and now she has her own insurance with her own company. Now she said she needs more time to think


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

If you haven't figured it out by now, not sure what more you need. Move on...file you can always cancel down the road but this way you show her you mean to move on with your life....i have to ask is there someone else...me think there is. She cancelled her health insurance with you....that is huge. and BTW what is she doing to help pay off her share of the credit cards.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

What is the benefit of keeping things as they are? Any for her? Any for you?

The limbo thing, for me, is the worst feeling, as we are waiting on someone that isn't giving ANYTHING to the relationship. NADA.

You do what's right for you...wait longer, if you wish, but really keep in mind that she may like things as they are...


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

How many years married. Ages?


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## Greg0327 (Oct 26, 2015)

Thanks everyone, I will be filing for divorce right after Christmas. I think she testing the water and to see if someone comes her way. One thing I figured out is I have to be a man and that there are plenty of fish out in the sea


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

I've moved relocated 7 times. Why, to make enough to care for the wife and kids, not to mention putting back for us when I retire. My wife moved and made the best of things because we were in it together. It's called life.

You will never have anything in your current marriage unless it suits her. 

I'd file now. Why wait? Being in denial of where you are and who she is isn't helping you here.

Move on now the quicker the better.


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## Greg0327 (Oct 26, 2015)

Right now, I am in Illinois and the divorce papers which I did online were set up to file in Pennsylvania. She knows the website and also made adjustments so she could file but never filed for divorce. The question I have is should I tell her I am filing? It is a un contested divorce. From what I understand, I don't know where she lives but I do know where she works, should I list it as I don't know where she is? After reading up on some information, if they do not know where she is, the divorce will go though even if she never knows or shows. I am going to Pennsylvania Wednesday and will be staying there till the New Year


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

File first, then tell her when it is done. You owe her nothing, she has kept you dangling on a string for too long, get her out of your life and move on.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Greg0327 said:


> Right now, I am in Illinois and the divorce papers which I did online were set up to file in Pennsylvania. She knows the website and also made adjustments so she could file but never filed for divorce. The question I have is should I tell her I am filing? It is a un contested divorce. From what I understand, I don't know where she lives but I do know where she works, should I list it as I don't know where she is? After reading up on some information, if they do not know where she is, the divorce will go though even if she never knows or shows. I am going to Pennsylvania Wednesday and will be staying there till the New Year



Just do not tell her. You do not want her messing with your life and moving on.

Her actions are clear, and if you want to avoid the head games, detach and do not engage.

You cannot make another love you or stay with you, that is their choice. However, you can respect yourself and not allow another to keep hurting you.

Adults talk things through, whether they stay together or separate. Her actions do not show she is capable of dealing with adult issues.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Why? 

She left you and doesn't stay in contact. if it were me I'd file and list her work address. Let her figure it out. Sounds like she doesn't care anyway why waste your time and effort?


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## Greg0327 (Oct 26, 2015)

She is always keeping in contact through email and messages. In a previous message, I blocked her email but she made up a new one so she could email me again. That is what so strange about this is, she writes me and ask how am I doing and says that wasn't very nice to block her email. That is what got me so confused. 
Last time we spoke was yesterday by email when I asked her if she had my passport which she said yes. I gave her our luggage set and mentioned I had to buy new luggage for myself and she said don't buy any and that I could use the luggage


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Greg0327 said:


> She is always keeping in contact through email and messages. In a previous message, I blocked her email but she made up a new one so she could email me again. That is what so strange about this is, she writes me and ask how am I doing and says that wasn't very nice to block her email. That is what got me so confused.
> Last time we spoke was yesterday by email when I asked her if she had my passport which she said yes. I gave her our luggage set and mentioned I had to buy new luggage for myself and she said don't buy any and that I could use the luggage


Being in denial of the situation and grasping at breadcrumbs will not change things. SHE LEFT YOU!!! At a time when you're starting in a new location. Would you have done that to her ? I don't know of any caring wife that would have done that. Has she bothered to call you asked to see you? 

You're in the dark here. So in the spirit of goodwill send her a message and tell her you're filing.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

It's your life if you want to be strung along with breadcrumbs have at it. 

If a person was in love with you would they leave you alone during a transfer? 

You're hanging on her words (obviously not doing no contact). Her actions speak a lot louder.

You don't even know where she's at? Doesn't that seem odd? I'd bet money she's dating, seeing others while your self respect slowly slips away.

WAKE UP!!!!! What would you tell a friend who is in your situation??????


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## Greg0327 (Oct 26, 2015)

No we have not spoken on the phone for 3 months, only by email. It is just breadcrumbs, she is trying to hold on to me for some reason, I really don't get it. It could be that she is good friends to my mother, she has been staying at her house for the last 2 weeks because I left our dog behind so she could see her. One thing she always ask in a email is about the dog and that if I could send her photos. But you are correct, what loving wife would separate from her husband just because she doesn't like the town where my company located me to. That shows no love and maturity. She is 15 years younger that me at age 28


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Are you sending her money? Paying any of her bills, etc? She is feeding you breadcrumbs because she wants a plan B. 

So she's living off your mom. How nice.


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## Greg0327 (Oct 26, 2015)

No, I am not sending her any money, one time she sent me money because I was short on cash. I did send her 50 dollars recently because she didn't have any money to make it through payday which is the 30th. She has her own apartment but the place doesn't allow pets from what I guess but I don't know where she lives


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Very odd. You need to get out of this situation.

You're wasting time and life you'll never get back.

Good luck to you.


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## Be smart (Feb 22, 2015)

Greg the best for you is to serve her with D papers.

Dont tell her anything just do it. You dont even know where she lives,any roommates,any dates and stuff like that.
She is also a lot younger then you are so maybe there is more to her story.

She was checked out from your Marriage even before you two Separated.

Stay strong.


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