# I desperately need advice.



## fallen_angel

My marriage is very very new. We've only been married for about 5 months. We have has a lot come our way in the past year
3 miscarriages, his father's death, my mom battling cancer, and many other things. It's not been easy.... lately divorce has been on my mind for the simple fact that I can't get hardly any affection, sex is basically non existent and he acts like he doesn't ever want me around. So, why stay...? I'm not happy and haven't been for awhile. One of the main reasons I'm still here is money.... I keep telling him that affection and intimacy are lacking and I need that, but he's just not getting it. I don't know what to do any more. He looks at porn and also at personal ads.... I just don't understand him. And he refuses to do counseling. He lies a lot too.... I don't know what I've gotten myself into... but he reminds me that I don't live in some fantasy, "Disney" movie.... any advice...??? Feel free to post or send me messages. Thank you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Falene

I am so sorry you have to suffer through such selfishness. Is this his normal way or has the stress warped him into a d!ck?

He is right, you don't live in a fantasy land (clearly, who in the hell would pick this crap for a fantasy) but YOU get to choose how to live your life.

Five months into marriage should be a fantastic time in your relationship. Any children? You mention that you are suffering many miscarriages? Maybe a bit more information could help?

One thing...the personal ads? HELL NO. But that is just a personal opinion.


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## fallen_angel

It just all seems normal now.... I'm trying my best to be supportive with his loss and everything else.... But it's very difficult... we moved about 3 hours away from our home to move into with and take care if his Dad... now his dad has passed... he is constantly up NY butt about everything. I feel like we are just existing and not living. Personal ads are a no go for me and he knows that... porn upsets me too. For the simple fact that I need/want to have sex. Pleasing myself more than we are intimate is NOT okay.... he doesn't seem to care.... and I'm not just saying this... it's true.... I don't know why he is still married to me.... I feel like a burden and not a wife. We do not have kids. But he has a daughter, who has stirred up her fair share of drama. I just want to move on from everything and start fresh.... but he is just stuck being the same person... he's not going to change. I can't make him. But he is losing me...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heavensangel

One of the main reasons I'm still here is money...



Why is this an issue? Are you not able to work? Do you not have family you could turn to? How was his behavior before you married? 

Sorry for all you're going through but there's no amount of $$$$ that could make me stay in an emotionally abusive relationship; and that's what yours sounds like to me. Particularly if he's unwilling to go to counseling to deal with the loss of his father/your pregnancies. IMO the personal ads and PORN would be all I'd need to pack up and go. 

You seriously need to consider doing what you need to do to take care of YOU; at this point, he's pretty much checked out of the marriage.


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## Romeo Mike

Dealing with grief and loss can be very difficult, However during these times are when a marriage can forge bonds that will last a lifetime. It all depends how the difficult situation is handled by the individual/couple. You mentioned that you're not happy and haven't been for a while. How long has it been? Have you tried discussing this with your husband and sharing your honest feelings?


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## Schofield25

bump to first page...


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