# Wife and I can't agree on Custody!



## Houstondad (Jul 6, 2011)

In case you don't know my story: Real quick: Wife and I married for 11 years. Two kids. She has affair. Leaves to live with cousin in June. Has visited kids off and on, but continues to live in another state. She just found work. I am taking care of our kids. I have contacted a lawyer and is patiently waiting till January for insurance to cover most of the costs. Now here's the issue: My wife and I chatted on the phone today and everything to lay out a plan of what we want the divorce to look like before I file. Things went well about doing things 50/50, and her really wanting to help out financially for me and the kids. Then it came to the kids and she suggested she would like there to be no primary decision maker for residency instead we jointly agree where the kids will reside. I told her I don't agree. That I would like to remain the primary residence and allow joint custody where the kids can visit during holidays and summer vacation. I know that in a joint custody with a primary residence that we could "mutually agree" to make changes on many things. Is what she suggesting even exist?? Also, her "friends" up there is making her paranoid with stories of bad divorces and she thinks it will turn into one. 
And this suggestion from a website she sent me might be more specific: 
THIS OPTION CAN BE SELECTED ONLY IF THE PARTIES AGREE TO IT.
Joint Managing Conservators, No Party Chooses Child’s Primary Home, Geographic Limit on Child’s Primary Home:
Both parties share legal custody. Neither party has the right to decide where the child’s primary home is located.
** Then who the hell decides? The judge? And would that mean we end up in court EVERY time one of us wants the kids and the other says no?


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