# Mixed Up In Faith



## clar

I was raised in the Catholic church.

After many life experiences I have found that I have a few objections or negative opinions of a few things that are part of the Catholic church.

I have tried to go to other churches but constantly feel like I need to resolve my issues with the Catholic church.

Ok so I could go find a priest and talk to him.

But here is my real dilemma.

My husband was raised very intermittently in the Lutheran church. We were married by non-denominational pastors. My husband shows no real interest in the Catholic faith so we have continued to go to a non-denominational church.

How do I resolve my issues with the Catholic church and possibly remain a Catholic while trying to get my husband to have interest and effort in trying as well?

I want to meet in the middle but I want to figure out where I feel 'right' but I want my husband to attend where he feels 'right' too.


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## 2ntnuf

You have to figure out what you want. You are saving your soul. He has to worry about his.

By the way, I was raised Catholic also. I struggle with some issues also. I have gone to nondenominational churches.

Good Luck.


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## Lon

You are asking if its okay to go to separate churches? Why not? I'm sure many people do - my own parents are both Christians but my dad doesn't ever go to church, my mom is a bible thumper never misses, does the secretarial work, teaches sunday school. Same thing as your situation I think (different denominations/beliefs, but my folks just separate their spiritual practices, and it seems like it was resolved for the most part decades ago).


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## Starstarfish

As a former Catholic, converted and married to a Lutheran, from my experience, finding a "middle ground" IE - a church where you can both attend together, and where both of you feel that the mutual church espouses what you individually believe will likely take some effort and soul searching. 

There are many elements of the two faiths that are in conflict, including basic questions like, "What is marriage?", "What is communion?" "What is confession?" "What is a sacrament?" 

You then get into less Scriptural-based debates. Do feel religious leaders should be married? (Priests aren't, pastors generally are.) What do you feel about prayerful intervention by saints or Mary? Do you have particularly strong feelings about certain translations of the Bible as more or less valid? Do you prefer more traditional or more "praise-worship" music? 

Do you prefer more or less active participation of the congregation in the service? (Catholic services can vary about how "rote" or "of the moment" things are, depending on how traditional or contemporary the congregation is.)

I think first you should determine what you feel about these topics, as you mention having some issues with Catholic teaching. This might involve talking with a priest/abbess or other religious counselor about these issues. 

After this soul searching, you can then discuss with your your husband his feelings, and then go forward in your search to find an inter-meshing church. However, it is possible that a Unitarian/Non-Denominational Church might remain your best fit for both you and your husband attending the same church/service. A strictly Catholic service might indeed not be in line with some of your husband's core beliefs, given his Lutheran upbringing. 

Otherwise, ultimately, you might need to decide that your religious lives might have to take a slightly divergent path.


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## ShawnD

> My husband was raised very intermittently in the Lutheran church. We were married by non-denominational pastors. My husband shows no real interest in the Catholic faith so we have continued to go to a non-denominational church.


What are the main disagreements between Catholics and Lutherans? Specifically, how do your beliefs and his beliefs differ? I've asked things like this many times, and lots of people have no idea. It's possible you're both fighting over a name and nothing more.



2ntnuf said:


> You have to figure out what you want. You are saving your soul. He has to worry about his.


You're probably both going to hell anyway because every church I've ever been in blatantly violates the ten commandments.



> commandment #2:
> Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.


Like that giant statue of Jesus in Rio, or those portraits of what Jesus may look like, or Jesus on a cross, or ....



> What do you feel about prayerful intervention by saints or Mary?


Do any of the denominations actually condone praying to saints or Mary? The above commandment explicitly says you're not supposed to do that. It also says you're not supposed to "bow down thyself" to the crucifix, but almost everybody does. 
(this is one of the reasons I stopped going to church)



> You are asking if its okay to go to separate churches? Why not? I'm sure many people do


Church is not just about religion. It's a social gathering where you meet people and make friends. Going to church can either be a fun activity that brings people closer together, or it can be a way to divide people.


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