# Any advice you would give your wife



## DontTell007 (Jul 10, 2018)

I am thinking about cheating on my husband. I love him, but not in love. He is foul tempered, doesn't have any desire for me any more due to medication. He doesn't treat me like his lover any more. Is disrespectful and rude to me in public. Once, drunk, sat down and said it wasn't working any more (over the fact he doesn't like my dog). He is not the man I married, and I could live with that if I got just a little bit of physical attention and respect. It is so bad, that the last time we made love, (over in 2 minutes) and no foreplay, I hurt inside because of lack of use. Women my age (63) tend to be dry, if you know what I mean, and lube doesn't help. I hope I'm not too graphic here. 

But really guys, I am so turned on by a 70 year old sexting me (says he hasn't had sex in 10 years due to his wife's lack of desire - and she is 350#), I feel alive again. And, no matter how much I asked my husband to get help, he just got more angry with me. I am 5'1, 115, and still have the sex drive I had when I was 35. I have just told myself it's life and marriage, and that's the way it goes. Well, I am close to saying no, there is more to life.

I read a bit on a website for women whose husband's have cheated on them. There are all kinds of words they use for women like me, and I am ashamed that I feel so ready to do this despicable thing to the man I've been married to for 26 years. 


Any advice you would give your wife if you knew she felt this way?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Advice? File for divorce.

Why would you stay married to your husband? Your relationship sounds awful.

and the 70 year old guy? He's married. Why would you want to get in the middle of the mess that is his life? Why do you want to hurt his wife? First off, you have no idea what's really doing on in his marriage. Cheaters lie, they alway lie. He's lying to you. For all you know you are just one of many other women he's sexting with. Most men who do this stuff are not just doing it with on woman, they hit up every woman they get in contact with online and carry on with the ones stupid enough to think that they are 'speical'. LOL If you think your life sucks now, wait to see what it's like if you cheat. It's going to get a lot worse.


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## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

No matter who it is, I would tell them that cheating isn't the answer, and to NOT do that. You're disrespecting your husband, your 26 year old marriage, and yourself if you do that. 

My advice to you would be this: 

- stop all communication with the other man
- go talk to a therapist, and work on figuring out what you want in life
- if it's to work on your marriage, tell your husband that you guys need to put effort forth to better your marriage; go see a couple's counsellor
- if you want out of your marriage, then grow some balls and tell your husband that you're unhappy, and get a divorce

Then and only then are you free to pursue other men and other relationships. Or, that's my belief anyways. At the very least, separate first.


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## Magnesium (Jun 19, 2017)

Divorce. If all you say about your husband is true then why don't you divorce him? If what you say is true, how would cheating on him change any of the complaints you have about him? Would cheating on him make him less foul-tempered? Would it make him more respectful of you? Would it make him more willing and capable of having sex with you? 

Honestly, how would having sex with another man improve your marriage? It won't. It may give you temporary temporal relief, but it will destroy everything else, not just the marriage. 

If your husband is the way you say he is and you have given up trying to love him, accept him, or deal with him, then you should divorce him. If you don't want to divorce him, you can keep your knickers on, see a counselor, rededicate yourself to your marriage and figure out how to love your husband (love being an action, not a sentiment) until death do you part.

Let's hope you don't do anything stupid and selfish.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

DontTell007 said:


> I am thinking about cheating on my husband. I love him, but not in love. He is foul tempered, doesn't have any desire for me any more due to medication. He doesn't treat me like his lover any more. Is disrespectful and rude to me in public. Once, drunk, sat down and said it wasn't working any more (over the fact he doesn't like my dog). He is not the man I married, and I could live with that if I got just a little bit of physical attention and respect. It is so bad, that the last time we made love, (over in 2 minutes) and no foreplay, I hurt inside because of lack of use. Women my age (63) tend to be dry, if you know what I mean, and lube doesn't help. I hope I'm not too graphic here.
> 
> But really guys, I am so turned on by a 70 year old sexting me (says he hasn't had sex in 10 years due to his wife's lack of desire - and she is 350#), I feel alive again. And, no matter how much I asked my husband to get help, he just got more angry with me. I am 5'1, 115, and still have the sex drive I had when I was 35. I have just told myself it's life and marriage, and that's the way it goes. Well, I am close to saying no, there is more to life.
> 
> ...


Spend a day and read every post. 

SurvivingInfidelity.com - Just Found Out Forum

_This is the team you are joining. _

Spend another day and read every post.

SurvivingInfidelity.com - Wayward Side Forum

_This is your future._

If you hate your husband so much at least have the courage to leave him. What is the point to staying? Security? Him being the worst ******* imaginable doesn't make cheating any better of a decision, and it also makes you stupid because you had the potential to leave him and maybe fine a real relationship where you could be together 24/7 and didn't have to hide it but actually share the entirety of your life. Instead you are dooming yourself to failure before you even start. 

Go ahead blow up yours and everyone else's life.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

DontTell007 said:


> I am thinking about cheating on my husband. I love him, but not in love. He is foul tempered, doesn't have any desire for me any more due to medication. He doesn't treat me like his lover any more. Is disrespectful and rude to me in public. Once, drunk, sat down and said it wasn't working any more (over the fact he doesn't like my dog). He is not the man I married, and I could live with that if I got just a little bit of physical attention and respect. It is so bad, that the last time we made love, (over in 2 minutes) and no foreplay, I hurt inside because of lack of use. Women my age (63) tend to be dry, if you know what I mean, and lube doesn't help. I hope I'm not too graphic here.
> 
> But really guys, I am so turned on by a 70 year old sexting me (says he hasn't had sex in 10 years due to his wife's lack of desire - and she is 350#), I feel alive again. And, no matter how much I asked my husband to get help, he just got more angry with me. I am 5'1, 115, and still have the sex drive I had when I was 35. I have just told myself it's life and marriage, and that's the way it goes. Well, I am close to saying no, there is more to life.
> 
> ...


If you are that unhappy and that tempted then end the marriage. You are thinking of having an affair with a married man. Think of his wife and children. Think of the deep hurt that you will cause with this awful man. 
BTW, men who want to get you into bed ALWAYs lie about their wives and sex lives. Are you REALLY interested in a man who is married and prepared to treat his wife so terribly? Who has no integrity? No moral values? 
if you must have another man, then end your marriage and look for a single man. 

Sorry but I despise people who go after others people spouses.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Well, I've been married 30 years. My wife doesn't desire me. Probably due to thyroid, and peri menopause. What would you, @DontTell007 , suggest I should do?

Is it different when the shoe is on the other foot?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Get a divorce.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

DontTell007 said:


> I am thinking about cheating on my husband. I love him, but not in love. He is foul tempered, doesn't have any desire for me any more due to medication. He doesn't treat me like his lover any more. Is disrespectful and rude to me in public. Once, drunk, sat down and said it wasn't working any more (over the fact he doesn't like my dog). He is not the man I married, and I could live with that if I got just a little bit of physical attention and respect. It is so bad, that the last time we made love, (over in 2 minutes) and no foreplay, I hurt inside because of lack of use. Women my age (63) tend to be dry, if you know what I mean, and lube doesn't help. I hope I'm not too graphic here.
> 
> But really guys, I am so turned on by a 70 year old sexting me (says he hasn't had sex in 10 years due to his wife's lack of desire - and she is 350#), I feel alive again. And, no matter how much I asked my husband to get help, he just got more angry with me. I am 5'1, 115, and still have the sex drive I had when I was 35. I have just told myself it's life and marriage, and that's the way it goes. Well, I am close to saying no, there is more to life.
> 
> ...


If the other mans wife is 350 I’m not surprised she doesn’t want sex.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

I am also of the mind to file for divorce.

But you could tell him that if he don't start meeting your needs your going to find a lover that wants to.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Somebody paid you some attention, and that's all you're thinking about. All you can think is to drop your panties for him, so you either rewrote the circumstances of your marriage, or you didn't pay any attention to what you wrote. So start with that first. If your husband is cruel to you, then why are you still with him? If your husband told you the marriage is over, then what does "I could live with that" mean? Why haven't you left yet? All this is much more of a consideration than finding someone to sleep with.

Yes, it makes you feel great when someone expresses their interest in you, particularly after being neglected. But you're not a 16 year old girl. You should be wiser than this, and you should have well-established principles and standards for how you live your life. 

But ending your marriage is not the only consideration. Adultery is cheating on your spouse or being with someone who has a spouse. So you can't be with this man regardless since HE is married. To consider an affair with a married man is just as wrong as cheating on your own husband. And again, you are not 16 years old. You know full well the lies men tell and the tricks they play to get a woman to cheat with them. Read the Chump Lady site to see the devastation you and he would be causing to both of your spouses and your families. https://www.chumplady.com

If you want the emotional and sexual attention your husband doesn't give, then divorce him so you can find what you need with a man that is available to you.


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> If you are that unhappy and that tempted then end the marriage. You are thinking of having an affair with a married man. Think of his wife and children. Think of the deep hurt that you will cause with this awful man.
> BTW, men who want to get you into bed ALWAYs lie about their wives and sex lives. Are you REALLY interested in a man who is married and prepared to treat his wife so terribly? Who has no integrity? No moral values?
> if you must have another man, then end your marriage and look for a single man.
> 
> Sorry but I despise people who go after others people spouses.


That deserved to be repeated.


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## happiness27 (Nov 14, 2012)

Are you financially secure enough to go out on your own?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Mr. Nail said:


> Well, I've been married 30 years. My wife doesn't desire me. Probably due to thyroid, and peri menopause. What would you, @DontTell007 , suggest I should do?
> 
> Is it different when the shoe is on the other foot?


Doesn't your wife realise that we can have and enjoy sex with our spouse just because we love them and care about them no matter how we 'feel?'


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## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

Diana7 said:


> Doesn't your wife realise that we can have and enjoy sex with our spouse just because we love them and care about them no matter how we 'feel?'


That may be in some cases but since we don't know why his wife doesn't have sex with him, we can't assume that theory applies in her case. It doesn't apply in every case, only some. So the "just do it" kind of mentality could be very wrong.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Well, if you were my wife and I knew you were going to cheat on me I'd just divorce you. If my wife lovingly shared with me all the ways she felt unfulfilled in the marriage and that she missed our physical bonding and how hurt she felt by my actions I'd think I'd be more apt to feel motivation to change and correct my mistakes. 

As someone who is not your husband my advice is to stay faithful to your husband and confront him with how you feel and tell him bluntly what you need.....or divorce him. Then you'd be free to sleep with whoever you want. Don't lie and sneak around like scum and have affairs.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Diana7 said:


> Doesn't your wife realise that we can have and enjoy sex with our spouse just because we love them and care about them no matter how we 'feel?'


 @Diana7 you are missing the point. Dont tell 007 's husband has no desire because of his medication. Mrs Nail has no desire because of her health. Neither of us is justified in cheating regardless of our genders. These problems are common enough and plenty of people work them out. I'm trying to point out to Don't Tell 007 that her infatuation with her older flirting partner has blinded her to the truth of her situation. The problems in her home relationship are not unusual. No matter how many trivial things she can find to list the truth is she is interested outside of the marriage and she just wants an excuse to do it.

In fact the situation for Mrs Nail is much worse than Don't tell's. If she had Don't Tell's drive she would be even more frustrated. I really think that until you are low drive you just don't understand that you can just forget to have sex.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

I'm going to go out on a limb here....


She is ALREADY CHEATING! She is sexting another man behind her husbands back. It's a EA at least. But cheating nonetheless. Ofcourse, the husband wants to divorce and is angry...HE KNOWS she is checked out. 

I am also going to throw my hat into the ring that she is a history revisionist and cake eater as well.....The BH is 70? He knows he's screwed and stuck...Hardly a great time to go looking for a "new" wife that will not cheat. He knows that he is supposed to be in his golden years, but he got tarnished brass instead.

Want to take a guess that she has cheated before and earlier in their marriage? Just remember, cheaters lie, and lie alot.


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## Stormguy2018 (Jul 11, 2018)

DontTell007 said:


> I am thinking about cheating on my husband. I love him, but not in love. He is foul tempered, doesn't have any desire for me any more due to medication. He doesn't treat me like his lover any more. Is disrespectful and rude to me in public. Once, drunk, sat down and said it wasn't working any more (over the fact he doesn't like my dog). He is not the man I married, and I could live with that if I got just a little bit of physical attention and respect. It is so bad, that the last time we made love, (over in 2 minutes) and no foreplay, I hurt inside because of lack of use. Women my age (63) tend to be dry, if you know what I mean, and lube doesn't help. I hope I'm not too graphic here.
> 
> But really guys, I am so turned on by a 70 year old sexting me (says he hasn't had sex in 10 years due to his wife's lack of desire - and she is 350#), I feel alive again. And, no matter how much I asked my husband to get help, he just got more angry with me. I am 5'1, 115, and still have the sex drive I had when I was 35. I have just told myself it's life and marriage, and that's the way it goes. Well, I am close to saying no, there is more to life.
> 
> ...


Yes, I'd ask her to divorce me. But if I were you, I wouldn't do anything with another man until after the divorce is final. You will avoid a world of complications if you don't.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

DontTell007 said:


> I am thinking about cheating on my husband. I love him, but not in love. He is foul tempered, doesn't have any desire for me any more due to medication. He doesn't treat me like his lover any more. Is disrespectful and rude to me in public. Once, drunk, sat down and said it wasn't working any more (over the fact he doesn't like my dog). He is not the man I married, and I could live with that if I got just a little bit of physical attention and respect. It is so bad, that the last time we made love, (over in 2 minutes) and no foreplay, I hurt inside because of lack of use. Women my age (63) tend to be dry, if you know what I mean, and lube doesn't help. I hope I'm not too graphic here.
> 
> But really guys, I am so turned on by a 70 year old sexting me (says he hasn't had sex in 10 years due to his wife's lack of desire - and she is 350#), I feel alive again. And, no matter how much I asked my husband to get help, he just got more angry with me. I am 5'1, 115, and still have the sex drive I had when I was 35. I have just told myself it's life and marriage, and that's the way it goes. Well, I am close to saying no, there is more to life.
> 
> ...


Listen, you know, you could cheat, if you want to. Everyone can. 

But I want to tell you that it is not the way to go, sugar, it just is not. 

Is there no way that you can see divorcing him and living an honest life? None? 

Believe me, I understand, I have been with so many woman whose husband does not take care of her needs. Yes, the sex was great because they were desperate, but at some point they all felt horrible. 

Is there anyway that I could convince you not to do this, and move on from him, or at least ask for an open relationship?


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

My advice would be:

When you move into your new apartment, make sure you get renter's insurance.


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## Ab10lah (Jul 1, 2018)

Tell your husband you have been sexting a 70 year old married man and thinking of actually sleeping with him...


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