# He's pulling on my heartstrings!



## confusedchloe (Apr 15, 2013)

So, I decided I was going to get a divorce. I've talked to a lawyer and have applied for an apartment. As soon as I heard about the apartment I was going to pack up, move out and start the divorce proceedings. I still care about my husband, but I'm not in love nor am I attracted to him. Don't sleep with him, don't want to have sex with him and I sleep on the couch. Well, tonight he comes home from work and tells me he is so grateful to have me and can't imagine his life without me. Dang it! Why did he have to do that! Now I'm totally doubting my decision! I should be thankful too to have someone who loves me so much, but how do you go on in a sexless marriage (my choice)?? Grrrrrr


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## tainted (Aug 16, 2013)

Wait, your husband doesn't know you're a cheater does he ?

Sounds like you're pulling your husband heartstrings.


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## Keenwa (Oct 26, 2013)

confusedchloe said:


> So, I decided I was going to get a divorce. I've talked to a lawyer and have applied for an apartment. As soon as I heard about the apartment I was going to pack up, move out and start the divorce proceedings. I still care about my husband, but I'm not in love nor am I attracted to him. Don't sleep with him, don't want to have sex with him and I sleep on the couch. Well, tonight he comes home from work and tells me he is so grateful to have me and can't imagine his life without me. Dang it! Why did he have to do that! Now I'm totally doubting my decision! I should be thankful too to have someone who loves me so much, but how do you go on in a sexless marriage (my choice)?? Grrrrrr


:scratchhead: hmm a cheater? you didn't say that did you? Did I miss something?

Well it sounds as if you haven't really done much work on the relationship? Perhaps you need to talk to him ? Are you feeling unloved or unappreciated? Maybe you need to look at what the problem is. Sounds like you are in the first steps of a marriage breakdown. I can relate to being in a sexless marriage, and it's not fun. But sounds like there is more at play here.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

One simple little comment from him makes you doubt your decision? You have been putting this off for way to long, just rip off that bandaid and get it over with.


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Keenwa, the cheater reference comes from past admissions of hers in other threads.

Why not just try coming clean with the affair and then seeing how he responds? Let him have a say in the situation. Will he still want to try to save the marriage and win you back the right way, or will he make your decisions easier for you and want to end it himself?


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## confusedchloe (Apr 15, 2013)

It's 1.5 yrs later and I am still married. Lots has happened. Lots of changes and some things haven't changed. I really need help with my self esteem. I have been addicted to a person who I've been letting use me. I went to counseling. The last time was about 10 months ago. I should probably go back. Is there a group here for people like me?


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

confusedchloe said:


> It's 1.5 yrs later and I am still married. Lots has happened. Lots of changes and some things haven't changed. I really need help with my self esteem. *I have been addicted to a person who I've been letting use me.* I went to counseling. The last time was about 10 months ago. I should probably go back. Is there a group here for people like me?


The is plenty out there for addiction recovery...

I just read several of your older posts. 

Put on your big girl pants. You want to make it easier to stay away from this guy???? Go tell his wife what has been going on and for how long. She will help you with this problem....Or at least he will be way to busy with damage control to burn any more of your money or time. 

If you have sons......what would you tell them to do if their wives did what you did?


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