# Have you guys ever done this?



## quirky_girl (Aug 5, 2010)

Have any of you ever given your wife the silent treatment? 

My husband does it quite a bit. It always follows a bout of yelling on his part. For example, my husband started a new job and today he was supposed to receive his first paycheck. However, his job was closed today for Veteran's Day (don't ask me why they closed today and not yesterday on actual Veteran's Day). I asked him Wednesday night if he needed a blank check so they could set up the direct deposit. He said "Yeah". So today when I was at work, I realized that I forgot to give it to him so I called him to tell him where the checkbook was on my desk. He said "I don't need it, I'm going to get a paper paycheck at 1pm and go to the bank". Well we have a few bills due today, so after 3 I checked our account to make sure the $ was in there before I paid them and it wasn't. So I called him and asked him if he got his paycheck. He hung up on me. I left that alone and went back to working. Well when I get home I ask him what happened because he hung up on me. He tells me to go away. I tell him, I am just asking a simple question about a paycheck, if you tell me the answer I will not ask you again. (It should be noted that he has me pay all the bills and manage the $, so to me this should not be a weird question to ask him.) He then tells me I am being annoying, I tell him I am not meaning to pester him, I am just asking a question. He yells "Stop talking!" "Go somewhere else and do something!" "You are annoying now!" ........WTH? I never raised my voice to him, I don't understand why he is being weird about this and making it more than it is. If he can't get the paycheck today, no big deal I will just have to take $ from our savings account to pay the bills but I at least want to know whats going on?!? Now he is giving me the silent treatment as punishment....Please help shed some light on this for me because I really don't understand why he turned this into a fight.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

It sounds to me like he did something with the money and he's being defensive about it. Kind of sounds like he feels controlled. He's rebelling, like a child. He spent his own money and doesnt want to have to answer to you. just a guess.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

He feels like most men. One question is a question, twice is being overly concerned, three times is nagging and implying that he is a little kid who needs mommy to lead him by the hand. if a man were to nag about a paycheck to a woman, some would call it controlling and abusive.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I gave my wife the silent treatment one time. She wouldn't fight a ticket that I knew she could get out of.
It hurt her so badly that I swore that I would never do it again.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Tell him he can manage the money and bills if he's not going to give you the information manage that task effectively


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

F-102 said:


> He feels like most men. One question is a question, twice is being overly concerned, three times is nagging and implying that he is a little kid who needs mommy to lead him by the hand. if a man were to nag about a paycheck to a woman, some would call it controlling and abusive.


In a reverse situation, where the man was handling the bills and the girl was hiding her money, it would not be "controlling and abusive"

I handle the money in my house, all the bills, I bet you, my husband doesn't even know what one of the bills cost, besides rent. 

I don't think you did anything out of line at all. I think your husband is throwing a temper tantrum like a child, because instead of telling you what happened with his paycheck, he turned it around as you're being annoying.

Trying to pay bills, is not being annoying, its being responsible.

I'd say the same thing to a reverse situation.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

CLucas976 said:


> My husband does it quite a bit.


In my experience it has always been self esteem issues, which is something you can most likely help him with.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I admit to giving my wife the silent treatment, but it is only because I know that the discussion will escalate to an argument and then to a fight. I prefer to back off, go to my work shop and let the situation diffuse before resuming contact.


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