# Don't understand why is a problem if your wife becomes a porn star in the bedroom?



## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

To everyone out there, I keep getting a vibe from the ladies suggesting that men should not expect their wives to become porn stars in the bedroom when for a men would be heaven on earth....don't understand why shouldn't be the goal in any marriage....to enjoy your intimacy the to max....if you are happy in your life and really love your wife / husband, why don't make your sex live unbelieveble!!... to me, this is it...one life, don't stop or quit from trying to experience the most enjoyable and intimate thing you can have with your partner....go at it like the world is going to end....if you don't feel like it, may be you are not in love anymore.....what do you think?...should woman make peace with the fact that they need to become pros in the bedroom and see how that may make their lives better with their husband, rather than trying to have any control of the relationship by not having sex or great sex which in turns would make their husband take their fantacies to another place?


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

It's all opinion though!! I think very much like you in the sense that I'm totally into my wife, love her more now than ever, I'm a team player with the kids, chores, I am the breadwinner, workout, good shape.......etc etc. Yet our sex drives are very different.

While my wife has show brief signs of being the "porn star" in the bedroom that's all they are brief signs........like commercials not the regular programming. Like any man will agree when she is in "porn star" mode it's more like holding on for dear life  

We had a long talk about this two nights ago and for her it feels like pressure! The pressure to perform "Am I doing what he likes etc" She said "You want me to be this sex freak and I'm just not.......at least not often " The other pressure comes from knowing that I want sex everyday........she says "Often I want to just sit and cuddle, hold, watch TV, but I know I can't touch you and flirt with you without it having to lead to sex......I feel stuck" I'm trying to be more patient and not always making moves that lead to sex without clear green lights.

While people like me and maybe you would want it all!! The foreplay, the caressing, what I call the 5 course meal sex, my wife just doesn't need that very often.

While it's hard for me to understand because I want the opposite I just have to understand that is how she is and I cannot change her desire.

While our sex life is good 2-3 times if averaged it comes in spurts and that awesome 1-1.5hr long candle light freaky sex is maybe once a month.

Wish you the best of luck maybe you and your wife will find it.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Who said that you can't make your wife a porn star in the bedroom? If she wants it, go for it. But the problem is your wife, not us. For us, you can be her stud, she can be your whxxx. As long as you and your wife agree with it. If she can't serve like a porn star for you right now, then you work on it and wait for her to change.

I am a porn star for my husband. I do my best!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

for alot of women its just a matter of unlocking the secrets when it comes to what they will do in the bedroom. something really turns her on, i mean bigtime, you just have to find it and get her to drop the walls. and that, i will admit, can be very difficult.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

To some sick, twisted minds, expecting any sexual activity in any form from a marriage partner constitutes wanting a "porn star".


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Who said that you can't make your wife a porn star in the bedroom? If she wants it, go for it. But the problem is your wife, not us. For us, you can be her stud, she can be your whxxx. As long as you and your wife agree with it. If she can't serve like a porn star for you right now, then you work on it and wait for her to change.
> 
> I am a porn star for my husband. I do my best!


greenpearl, u r exceptional!:smthumbup:


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## MotoDude (Sep 15, 2010)

Ha! Good subject, I can only dream and envy to see many members here posting up great bedroom story. Some wives will not open up and hold back as it your punishment, unfortunately, mine think it's discussing.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Who said that you can't make your wife a porn star in the bedroom? If she wants it, go for it. But the problem is your wife, not us. For us, you can be her stud, she can be your whxxx. As long as you and your wife agree with it. If she can't serve like a porn star for you right now, then you work on it and wait for her to change.
> 
> I am a porn star for my husband. I do my best!


That's because you already dealt with your demons and learned to feel comfortable with allowing yourself to feel horny and adventures...good for you!!!...but there are other women that just can't find in them to relax and enjoy sex to the fullest...why?? if everyone has the potential, because I think they have not dealt with their own demons....to my wife I told and finally she understood that I cannot go longer in our relationship if I am not to receive the same I give....I just can't work feeling neglected...and that's the problem with a lot of women that you don't understand what you are missing because you don't want to grow in the sex department...if you keep on doing the same, I am telling you your husband will keep fantasizing, watching porn, masturbating, going to strippers, and or will not give you the closeness and level of connection that would've made you feel like life is worth living..... :scratchhead:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> for alot of women its just a matter of unlocking the secrets when it comes to what they will do in the bedroom. something really turns her on, i mean bigtime, you just have to find it and get her to drop the walls. and that, i will admit, can be very difficult.


I agree....it requires time, patient and a lot of love....but to improve it, you have to keep at it....communicating what else would make you happy and why?? although, my wife is not very visual or communicate back to me the way I would really like, I have to concentrate on the positives things of our relationship but it is also important to make sure you tell her every week how important is for both to evolve and change for the better in the sex department, if not, you will lose it!! - we don't stay healthy for ever....


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> To some sick, twisted minds, expecting any sexual activity in any form from a marriage partner constitutes wanting a "porn star".


What are you saying??...that wanting to enjoy what God gave you and enjoy it with your heart full of love....and being able to see how your wife becomes the object of all your desires and as a result the only woman you think about all day....how do I make her happy....Sunday morning, I went outside pick a few fluwers and put them in her breakfast tray....she was so happy and kiss me and hug me - no sex related activity what so ever.....see?? that's what happen when you take care of your husband and all his primal instincts, we become your object of desires as all the love you showed us in bed is returned to you in the forms you most enjoy it....love love love....


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

I'd rather be the porn star then have him go looking at other porn stars 

But just like porn stars I reserve the right to specialize. I don't do gang bangs, I'm not a dominatrix and I am not gonna jack up my face or inflate my boobs for some extreme ideal. I'm a real woman who likes to get her freak on and please her man hehe.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> That's because you already dealt with your demons and learned to feel comfortable with allowing yourself to feel horny and adventures...good for you!!!...but there are other women that just can't find in them to relax and enjoy sex to the fullest...why?? if everyone has the potential, because I think they have not dealt with their own demons....to my wife I told and finally she understood that I cannot go longer in our relationship if I am not to receive the same I give....I just can't work feeling neglected...and that's the problem with a lot of women that you don't understand what you are missing because you don't want to grow in the sex department...if you keep on doing the same, I am telling you your husband will keep fantasizing, watching porn, masturbating, going to strippers, and or will not give you the closeness and level of connection that would've made you feel like life is worth living..... :scratchhead:


My husband doesn't watch porn anymore because the quality of porn isn't that great. 

He hasn't masturbated for months since he is quite satisfied from me. He is happy when my period comes,  it means he can rest for a few days. 

He always tells me how important it is for a women to satisfy their men sexually. He doesn't have this problem, he is thankful that his wife is this ****ty.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Idontknownow said:


> I'd rather be the porn star then have him go looking at other porn stars
> 
> But just like porn stars I reserve the right to specialize. I don't do gang bangs, I'm not a dominatrix and I am not gonna jack up my face or inflate my boobs for some extreme ideal. I'm a real woman who likes to get her freak on and please her man hehe.


We are high quality ones, not those cheap ugly things.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Idontknownow said:


> I'd rather be the porn star then have him go looking at other porn stars
> 
> But just like porn stars I reserve the right to specialize. I don't do gang bangs, I'm not a dominatrix and I am not gonna jack up my face or inflate my boobs for some extreme ideal. I'm a real woman who likes to get her freak on and please her man hehe.


That's exactly what I am talking about....to me is about beautiful love making that most of the time is just passion and desire, but once or twice a week, becomes special with possibilities.....is about giving your wife back massages, follow but other massages and just do as much as you want that don't cross the line of what it means loving someone with all your heart and be faithful and helpful......to me the whole idea is to allow her to feel free and desire and loved.....she needs to understand that we are in this together and that enjoy your husband body and let him eat you alive may be one of the best experiences of your life...but you need to make peace with the fact that something needs to change in your head!!!...talk to your husband and ask why you cannot have the great sex and connection that comes with it??:scratchhead:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> We are high quality ones, not those cheap ugly things.


If we were to concentrate in how to make us happy with all our strength, things would be so much nicer around us....when I see a couple where the husband to open the door for the woman or does not treat her with the kind of love and consideration that I would use to treat my wife, I know, they have not having great sex...is a must...if you are having great sex and more.......then, I ensure you your husband will be another man....if not, he does not love you!...our hearts are connected to ours penises....:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> .but you need to make peace with the fact that something needs to change in your head!!!...talk to your husband and ask why you cannot have the great sex and connection that comes with it??:scratchhead:


I don't understand this. What needs to change in my head?

I am open to new things but I'm not going to be talked into doing something that disgusts me. Everyone has boundaries and those should be respected. Part of love is respect and being fun and freaky is fine but once you start forcing someone to be or do something that upsets or makes them uncomfortable that will make them feel unsafe and take away from intimacy. If thats how a man behaves, bullying his wife into something then all the massages and BS talk about love and being open aren't worth a damn.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> That's exactly what I am talking about....to me is about beautiful love making that most of the time is just passion and desire, but once or twice a week, becomes special with possibilities.....is about giving your wife back massages, follow but other massages and just do as much as you want that don't cross the line of what it means loving someone with all your heart and be faithful and helpful......to me the whole idea is to allow her to feel free and desire and loved.....she needs to understand that we are in this together and that enjoy your husband body and let him eat you alive may be one of the best experiences of your life...but you need to make peace with the fact that something needs to change in your head!!!...talk to your husband and ask why you cannot have the great sex and connection that comes with it??:scratchhead:


Again, that is your opinion on what great sex is!! You are assuming that your wife isn't opening herself up, being free, allowing herself to be free sexually, and I'm saying she may not need that.

My wife can have a orgasm in 10 minutes or less everytime by doing 1 or 2 different positions. Unlike a man there are times she doesn't want to! Does that make sense to you? She connects alot by just cuddling, talking, holding, kissing, that doesn't lead to sex!! 

There are times she just doesn't want to have sex or have freaky, wild, full course sex. There are times she wants the back rubs, foot rubs, does it have to lead to sex?

The other night she was crying saying how she would hate to lose me because our sex life wasn't all "I" wanted it to be. That she felt pressured because she thought I wanted her to be a "Sex freak wild and crazy" all the time. How selfish of a man would I be to go there or do that? Marriage is about bending not breaking, love is about putting the other's needs before your own, pressuring, coercing, using tactics have no place in a marriage based on love.

Do I want my wife to be a porn star every night? Yep, just about every night I do, but I know that is not her thing.......that type of sex might happen once a month. I am grateful to be able to have sex, love, and be with the wonderful woman that is my wife! Even if the intensity is a little less than I would like and a little less often than I would like.

In the end sex is just the icing on the cake some like a little more some like a little less :smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

When my wife insisted on having a full camera crew in our bedroom and a "stunt ****" standing by, I knew things had gone too far.

And she blamed ME for her poor DVD sales.


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

OhGeesh said:


> Again, that is your opinion on what great sex is!! You are assuming that your wife isn't opening herself up, being free, allowing herself to be free sexually, and I'm saying she may not need that.
> 
> My wife can have a orgasm in 10 minutes or less everytime by doing 1 or 2 different positions. Unlike a man there are times she doesn't want to! Does that make sense to you? She connects alot by just cuddling, talking, holding, kissing, that doesn't lead to sex!!
> 
> ...


THANK YOU! :smthumbup:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Idontknownow said:


> THANK YOU! :smthumbup:


I disagree completely if what you are implying is that you'll keep be a prison of what your wife wants to give you...that is not the way is supposed to be....you can giver her the space she needs and let her be and be a wonderful husband but if she is not going to try to educate herself and how she can be a better wife in the sex department so it keeps on brining smiles on your face, you my friend have been ripped off by all the woman here trying to convince you that you cannot ask for more from you wife - that's BS!....if you have fantacies and a higher sex drive, and you are taking care of your family and wife like YOU MEAN IT, then you have the right to ask for better sex from your wife....God did not make you like this to make her suffer, it made you like this, because his idea was for those few good man that their wives would come around and see that trying to put a smile on your husband face by doing something to him unexpected or surprising is a gesture of love....but thinking that you are to receve the same from your wife and can't expect or ask for better or more...to me does not make anysense...what the heck we feel this way?? ah!!! how come we enjoy sex so much??!! ah!....it was a joke from god to make us suffer because women would never be able to satisfy us?? again I said BULL SH.......t 

You are saying this, because you already gave up!....and you don't want to know that are not the best wife you can be......don't tell me that it is okay feel unfulfilled....you never are going to be able to experience the love for your wife or husband with the passion and strengh until he is fully satisfy with your sex life.....trust me....when you experiance love in that department, you look at your wife with other eyes...is like appreciation because she was able to make you truly happy..


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

First off I am the wife.

Are you saying a woman should do everything a husband wants even the sickest most degrading things imaginable just cuz he wants it? WOW...lots of give and take in that marriage isn't there? Marriage is about compromise in every area.

Careful how high you throw your own bull ****...it might land back on your face.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Idontknownow said:


> First off I am the wife.
> 
> Are you saying a woman should do everything a husband wants even the sickest most degrading things imaginable just cuz he wants it? WOW...lots of give and take in that marriage isn't there? Marriage is about compromise in every area.
> 
> Careful how high you throw your own bull ****...it might land back on your face.


Not everything....my point is....if you enjoy BJs, why shouldn't your wife give you the BJs like you fantasize about? - if the BJ is not satisfying, you, as a husband, should be able to ask for better!..and the wife, should want to do better!...now, if you want to try anal, for example, and your wife is willing to try, educate yourself in a way that you both try to do the best so when the experience finally arrives, you have a higher probability so succeed....my problem is when the sex and all things related becomes lausy....if I am not a lausy husband, or father, or provider, and I do my very best to please my wife and we have a good relatioship otherwise, then, your wife MUST try to do something for you that would make you desire her and smile everytime you remember her...for example, to me was a real problem that my wife did not like to feel my semen in her mouth or wanted to give me a BJ during sex - she would send me to the bathroom to clean up - talking about ruining the mood - then, we talk and talk and my point was how come you feel this way, I am espected to respect it and that's it?? - it does not work for me...I don't have any trouble to go down on her and I love her but whole and I like it like there is no tomorrow, I bit her but checks and those are the things that make me so excited and horny, those are the feelings that make me feel alive and that all I am doing is worth it....so one day, she decided that I was right, that if she really loved me, she shouln'd be showing any sort of problems towards enjoying our bodies because otherwise, it becomes a question of why?? does she love me the same way I love her...don't think so.....today, I am trying to push our sex life as far as I see feasible...I respect my wife, but she understands now that if she doesn't do her best to show me that she cares about what brings these feeling of excitement in my heart, that our marriage is doom to fail...50% end up in divorce - why...go figure...


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## Sadara (Jul 27, 2010)

My husband and I are pretty sexually adventurous with each other. We'll try just about anything, but we do both have our limits. We respect those limits and don't cross them, nor do we push the line.

With that said, the porn star activity is on hold for us for awhile. When the wife, that's me, isn't respected after the 'porn star' evening, then it's kinda hard to get in the 'porn star' mood again. You see, my husband wrote in emails to the other woman, some pretty horrible things about me the evening after our last 'porn star' night. Once I found out about the affair and read all the emails, I was hurt beyond belief. If he wouldn't have had an affair and said horrible things about me to the other woman, then he could have his 'porn star' nights. But, as we recover from the affair and rebuild our marriage, it won't happen. He has to earn that and I have to trust that he isn't going to trash me the next day. I still don't trust that.

And yes, I realize my situation is different. But, that kind of baggage can carry forward with anyone into future relationships. You never know what is in someones past that keeps them from wanting to be a 'porn star' in the bedroom with their spouse.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Sadara said:


> My husband and I are pretty sexually adventurous with each other. We'll try just about anything, but we do both have our limits. We respect those limits and don't cross them, nor do we push the line.
> 
> With that said, the porn star activity is on hold for us for awhile. When the wife, that's me, isn't respected after the 'porn star' evening, then it's kinda hard to get in the 'porn star' mood again. You see, my husband wrote in emails to the other woman, some pretty horrible things about me the evening after our last 'porn star' night. Once I found out about the affair and read all the emails, I was hurt beyond belief. If he wouldn't have had an affair and said horrible things about me to the other woman, then he could have his 'porn star' nights. But, as we recover from the affair and rebuild our marriage, it won't happen. He has to earn that and I have to trust that he isn't going to trash me the next day. I still don't trust that.
> 
> And yes, I realize my situation is different. But, that kind of baggage can carry forward with anyone into future relationships. You never know what is in someones past that keeps them from wanting to be a 'porn star' in the bedroom with their spouse.


That's terrible, I would never do that to my wife...see to me is about communicating....and educating....my wife comes from a very conservative family that made sex seems a bad thing...she's never masturbated and had a lot of issues with trying new things...today, I can see that I may have everything I want, sex related, from my relationship with my wife, if I am patients, loving, and more loving....BUT and this is a big but, she needs to make an effort to show me that she is thinking of me and how to make me happy.....that I'll be doing the same...that happiness passes onto your children....what I keep saying to my wife, our lives are beautiful, but we need to work on our relationship everyday.....since love requires work.....if you insist on it, you'll be for ever rewarded.....close yourself and your husband in a room and talk for hours about everything bothers you about your relationship and your life and be ready for revelations and feeling hurt....but that is the first step getting it all out on the table...only then, you'll be able to rebuilt...good luck :smthumbup:


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

OMG for the last time I AM THE WIFE.

Your wife probably got sick and tired of you badgering her.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> Not everything....my point is....if you enjoy BJs, why shouldn't your wife give you the BJs like you fantasize about? - if the BJ is not satisfying, you, as a husband, should be able to ask for better!..and the wife, should want to do better!...now, if you want to try anal, for example, and your wife is willing to try, educate yourself in a way that you both try to do the best so when the experience finally arrives, you have a higher probability so succeed....my problem is when the sex and all things related becomes lausy....if I am not a lausy husband, or father, or provider, and I do my very best to please my wife and we have a good relatioship otherwise, then, your wife MUST try to do something for you that would make you desire her and smile everytime you remember her...for example, to me was a real problem that my wife did not like to feel my semen in her mouth or wanted to give me a BJ during sex - she would send me to the bathroom to clean up - talking about ruining the mood - then, we talk and talk and my point was how come you feel this way, I am espected to respect it and that's it?? - it does not work for me...I don't have any trouble to go down on her and I love her but whole and I like it like there is no tomorrow, I bit her but checks and those are the things that make me so excited and horny, those are the feelings that make me feel alive and that all I am doing is worth it....so one day, she decided that I was right, that if she really loved me, she shouln'd be showing any sort of problems towards enjoying our bodies because otherwise, it becomes a question of why?? does she love me the same way I love her...don't think so.....today, I am trying to push our sex life as far as I see feasible...I respect my wife, but she understands now that if she doesn't do her best to show me that she cares about what brings these feeling of excitement in my heart, that our marriage is doom to fail...50% end up in divorce - why...go figure...



Seems like you are playing the tit for tat game to me. See I do this, that, the other, more of this, and that, and finish it off with a shazam.........now what are you going to do for me?

That's a crappy way to live imo and very selfish. When you give you give without expecting in return that's true love. In the end Marcopoloy69 if your wife doesn't like your semen in her mouth she doesn't like your semen in her mouth. Does it get you off that much for her to do that?

My wife used to do anal with me because she thought I liked even thought she was "eh" on the whole thing. Guess what? I did anal because I thought she liked it I was "eh" on the whole thing. No we never like 1 time a year if that do anal:smthumbup: 

You may love your wife more than she loves you anyway.......I definitely think I love my wife more than she loves me, but I've always been a hard sacrificer giving up tons for my family/wife while I do with less.

As far as BJ's go when my wife and I were dating she would do the whole swallow thing and even brag about it. "Every last drop" she was almost considered a catch for doing that back in the day. Know that we are married for a long long time and I can't remember the last time she swallowed. She hates it always did, but used to do it to try to impress me. Know different than me always trying to turn sex into a marathon.

Lastly, it's hard for me to get enjoyment from something my wife isn't into. Is it still good if you know she is hating every minute of it? 

Best of luck to ya!! I know you didn't just link divorce rates to sex did you? Problems are much much deeper than that!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> When my wife insisted on having a full camera crew in our bedroom and a "stunt ****" standing by, I knew things had gone too far.
> 
> And she blamed ME for her poor DVD sales.


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

We don't do that.

Even more discouraged now by some bad stories.

Not interested.

we look at ourselves through mirrors.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

OhGeesh said:


> Seems like you are playing the tit for tat game to me. See I do this, that, the other, more of this, and that, and finish it off with a shazam.........now what are you going to do for me?
> 
> That's a crappy way to live imo and very selfish. When you give you give without expecting in return that's true love. In the end Marcopoloy69 if your wife doesn't like your semen in her mouth she doesn't like your semen in her mouth. Does it get you off that much for her to do that?
> 
> ...


My husband says sex is about giving pleasure to your loving spouse. It's not just about you, it is about the other one, if you try hard to please her and make her enjoy the sex you serve, she likes what you are doing, she'll be very happy and then she'll be happy to give!

You are right, we can't just think how much fun we can get, we have to see if they enjoy it or not!


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

I agree with the wife. If she isn't comfortable with doing something, she does not have to do it. She isn't "limiting herself" or whatever someone else said. She is exercising her right to say no. What is explosive and exciting for the husband may be sick and degrading to her, and she has the right to say no without any questions asked.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

OhGeesh said:


> Again, that is your opinion on what great sex is!! You are assuming that your wife isn't opening herself up, being free, allowing herself to be free sexually, and I'm saying she may not need that.
> 
> My wife can have a orgasm in 10 minutes or less everytime by doing 1 or 2 different positions. Unlike a man there are times she doesn't want to! Does that make sense to you? She connects alot by just cuddling, talking, holding, kissing, that doesn't lead to sex!!
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Pron stars are PAID a killing to work. You watched too much pron and learnt all these naughty things, to be applied on your wife. I feel very sorry for your wife. 

About you want your wife to swallow your semen, well, if you like your semen taste, just save it for yourself. You watched too much pron and learnt all these naughty things, to be applied on your wife, which is off your nuts. Tell me why you don't want to swallow your own semen but you want your wife to eat it to show how much she loves you?

It's your dream making her a pron star but the fact is some pron stars don't actually swallow unless they're PAID and there's a price for do a thing. They're paid to swallow and they're paid to perform to entertain you. 

Do not EXPECT your wife to learn how to sallow your semen like a pron star only to satisfy your FULLEST excitment. 

Simply because she doesn't have to satisfy your every nasty need as she has a perfect right to disagree with your any nasty idea as well as pron stars , in real life, can choose not to swallow semen unless the $$$ is satisfactory to them. 

So, your wife doesn't have to be a pron star for you, in my opinion. ONLY if she is happy to swallow it, then never mind. If she's happy to please you, then never mind. In that case, you can get what you want from her. If she doesn't like to wear a BDSM collar, why should she to wear it only to make sure she loves you?

Are you still insist in making your wife as a pron star? You should have married an EXCELLENT PRON STAR, so you don't have to suffer because she's gonna to break free before choking on the collar you placed on her.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

76Trombones said:


> I agree with the wife. If she isn't comfortable with doing something, she does not have to do it. She isn't "limiting herself" or whatever someone else said. She is exercising her right to say no. What is explosive and exciting for the husband may be sick and degrading to her, and she has the right to say no without any questions asked.


:iagree:


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

MsLonely said:


> Pron stars are PAID a killing to work. You watched too much pron and learnt all these naughty things, to be applied on your wife. I feel very sorry for your wife.
> 
> About you want your wife to swallow your semen, well, if you like your semen taste, just save it for yourself. You watched too much pron and learnt all these naughty things, to be applied on your wife, which is off your nuts.
> 
> ...


you are slappping the face of many of the good women in here that have confessed to liking that act and are happy to perform it on their husbands. dont assume your prudish and opressed attitude is shared by all.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

OKEYDOKIE, 

You're getting me very wrong and being offensive to my comment. I'm not slapping on good women who enjoy pleasing their husbands. I'm proud of them actually. What I concern is their happiness to do it. To speak more honestly, I'd love to slap on those husbands who insist in making their wives as pron stars because it's true that pron stars ARE PAID to entertain you in many naughty and nasty ways.

My point was clear, women have perfect right to refuse any nasty idea that doesn't make them feel comfortable with. For example, swallowing the semen. Some women like to swallow and some women don't. You CAN'T EXPECT your wife to swallow your semen if she doesn't want ONLY BECAUSE you want her to be a PRON STAR.

If she loves to be a pron star for you, I'm happy for her and happy for you. So this thread won't exist. 

Please read my comment carefully. In my comment I said:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ONLY if she is happy to swallow it, then never mind. If she's happy to please you, then never mind. In that case, you can get what you want from her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
What I want to point out was a simple word called RESPECT. I can't understand why you call it slap???????? What is your problem?

I don't need my comment of RESPECT to be shared by all. You don't have to agree with me. It's just my personal opinion. If you ask me 100 times, I would tell you the same thing. But before you accused me slapping on good women, you have to show enough evidences.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I swallow his come. After I swallow, I keep on licking his head. That really drives my husband crazy. 

He doesn't get this kind of king service often, once a month maybe! 

I am happy to do it once a month because I know how much he enjoys it.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> I swallow his come. After I swallow, I keep on licking his head. That really drives my husband crazy.
> 
> He doesn't get this kind of king service often, once a month maybe!
> 
> I am happy to do it once a month because I know how much he enjoys it.


I'm happy for you and your husband because you were happy to swallow it sometimes.:iagree:

If his wife is happy to swallow his semen, he wouldn't have to question it on his thread. So it's obvious that he expects his wife to perform some things that over her limits but insisited in making her a pron star, that was exactly the thing I disagreed with. He said he never forced her wife but he's pushing her to learn to satisfy his fullest excitiments. Well, if she's happy, who cares? They're happy couple, they're happy to learn to satisfy each other. You know what I mean? He doesn't need to hang around in this forum for advice.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> I'm happy for you and your husband because you were happy to swallow it sometimes.:iagree:
> 
> If his wife is happy to swallow his semen, he wouldn't have to question it on this thread. So it's obvious that he expects his wife to perform some things that over her limits but insisited in making her a pron star, that was exactly thing I disagreed with.


My husband doesn't agree with this either. He says I have to enjoy what he is doing. I wouldn't like it if my husband forces me to do anything. My husband just tries to suggest ideas, if I don't like it, he just quits. But very often he gets what he wants. Just don't suggest silly ideas!!!


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> My husband doesn't agree with this either. He says I have to enjoy what he is doing. I wouldn't like it if my husband forces me to do anything. My husband just tries to suggest ideas, if I don't like it, he just quits. But very often he gets what he wants. Just don't suggest silly ideas!!!


actually, those silly ideas that are more fun..


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Greenpearl, 
I have read all your threads and totally understand how madly, truely and deeply you love your husband. Your husband has respected you meanwhile you have done your best to please him in bed and he's very happy that he married you.

As for my husband, he told me, he loves me everyway I am happy with. I don't have to act sexy and skillful to make him happy. If I like to striptease and I like to swallow his semen are all good to him. Also, if I don't like to do anything and I just want to get massages from him and let him do all the services for me are all good to him.

It's a wonderful feeling that you know a man loves you with full respect and trust. When his love is unconditional, he's able to love you who you are.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

malmale said:


> actually, those silly ideas that are more fun..


I don't support too silly ideas, for example extreme BDSM and sex with animals.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

malmale said:


> actually, those silly ideas that are more fun..


MMF, FFM, GROUP are not fun. 

ONE on ONE is fun!!!

I don't want fire to burn my ass.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Greenpearl,
> I have read all your threads and totally understand how madly, truely and deeply you love your husband. Your husband has respected you meanwhile you have done your best to please him in bed and he's very happy that he married you.
> 
> As for my husband, he told me, he loves me everyway I am happy with. I don't have to act sexy and skillful to make him happy. If I like to striptease and I like to swallow his semen are all good to him. Also, if I don't like to do anything and I just want to get massages from him and let him do all the services for me are all good to him.
> ...




Like I always say, if our man is a nice man, makes it easy for us to be a nice woman!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Like I always say, if our man is a nice man, makes it easy for us to be a nice woman!


:iagree:


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> MMF, FFM, GROUP are not fun.
> 
> ONE on ONE is fun!!!
> 
> I don't want fire to burn my ass.


MMF, FFM = top fantasies for most men. LOL 

Many dream about being serve like a king.


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## HomeGoodMan (Sep 27, 2010)

greenPearl, what you say are very important and correct for the man, specially for me, learn from you!


i always say to my wife, you are my queen.


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## FeelsBadMan (Oct 13, 2010)

This topic made me join because the OP described my sex life to a T. I love my wife but when the things we use to do when we were dating, the things I loved and didn't even have to ask for just go away after marriage, I feel like I've been tricked. 
Yes we've had the talks the arguments and the whole nine but nothing changes. I think some women just say the hell with it when in all honesty if you leave them they'll just be doing to someone else what they could've been doing to you the whole time. The bait and switch routine is tired ladies if you don't like something don't do it at all, because if a man likes it he's gonna want it!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

FeelsBadMan said:


> This topic made me join because the OP described my sex life to a T. I love my wife but when the things we use to do when we were dating, the things I loved and didn't even have to ask for just go away after marriage, I feel like I've been tricked.
> Yes we've had the talks the arguments and the whole nine but nothing changes. I think some women just say the hell with it when in all honesty if you leave them they'll just be doing to someone else what they could've been doing to you the whole time. The bait and switch routine is tired ladies if you don't like something don't do it at all, because if a man likes it he's gonna want it!


Women love to please their husband in bed when feeling loved, respected and understood. Bait and switch routine is really a man's stuff and style when they handle relationship problems. 

If you insist in wanting it your way, I don't think your wife has a talent to stop you to get what you want... sad but true.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> you are slappping the face of many of the good women in here that have confessed to liking that act and are happy to perform it on their husbands. dont assume your prudish and opressed attitude is shared by all.


I agree!!:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> OKEYDOKIE,
> 
> You're getting me very wrong and being offensive to my comment. I'm not slapping on good women who enjoy pleasing their husbands. I'm proud of them actually. What I concern is their happiness to do it. To speak more honestly, I'd love to slap on those husbands who insist in making their wives as pron stars because it's true that pron stars ARE PAID to entertain you in many naughty and nasty ways.
> 
> ...


My problem with the above statment is that like beer, the first time you taste it, you may not like it at all, but after a while you get used to it and the nattiness of the act, may start appealing to you and seeing how much your husbad enjoy it and the way he acts up aftewards, may be enough for the wife to realize how to keep her marriage exciting and her husband eating from her hand....do you get me now?...


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> I swallow his come. After I swallow, I keep on licking his head. That really drives my husband crazy.
> 
> He doesn't get this kind of king service often, once a month maybe!
> 
> I am happy to do it once a month because I know how much he enjoys it.


And to me that's the point.....you do it for love and the knowldege of how this act bring you closer to your husband...my wife does not swallow the whole thing, but I don't really care as long as she shows me that she also is enjoying it and do everything I like.....like liking the testiculos and the sides like she is going to eat it!!!.....you do that no matter what's in you mind, with time you'll learn to deal with your demons and at some point you'll start making peace with it, and hopefully enjoy it.....if you don't try to move ahead in how you deal with sex, your relationship is doomed to fail....that's how I see it...it is the same with all areas of your relationship, you have to take care of it...


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> I'm happy for you and your husband because you were happy to swallow it sometimes.:iagree:
> 
> If his wife is happy to swallow his semen, he wouldn't have to question it on his thread. So it's obvious that he expects his wife to perform some things that over her limits but insisited in making her a pron star, that was exactly the thing I disagreed with. He said he never forced her wife but he's pushing her to learn to satisfy his fullest excitiments. Well, if she's happy, who cares? They're happy couple, they're happy to learn to satisfy each other. You know what I mean? He doesn't need to hang around in this forum for advice.


I am asking for comments / opinions......I am sharing what it is working for me.....I love my wife, but we've been through toughs times...and right now, I am still trying to deal with the fact that I am very sensitive and passionate when she's not.....you have to understand that a man cannot be fully connected to his wife, if she is not willing to show him that she really loves him.....and to us, it has to do with being able to turn off all the fire we have within because of unfullfield fantacies.....


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> My husband doesn't agree with this either. He says I have to enjoy what he is doing. I wouldn't like it if my husband forces me to do anything. My husband just tries to suggest ideas, if I don't like it, he just quits. But very often he gets what he wants. Just don't suggest silly ideas!!!


Same here....what do you think I am.....when she is not in the mood I don't push it, but she knows that from time to time, she needs to let me put out that fire.....and if that means, letting me enjoy her in different ways, or asking her for a few special things, why not?? I am not asking her to do a threesome or to put a can in her vagina....it is about she showing me that she wants me and that I can touch her whatever I want and kiss her whatever I want and ask her to give me a bj after her first orgasm and while she gives me the bj to reach my first orgasm, I want to try a dildo in her and see if I can be succesfull at giver her another orgasm while she sucks my pe...s....what is wrong with those things??


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

HomeGoodMan said:


> greenPearl, what you say are very important and correct for the man, specially for me, learn from you!
> 
> 
> i always say to my wife, you are my queen.


TAM is a very interesting place. There is so much to learn. It is like a neighborhood with a lot of kind international residents. Thank Chris for it!!!

Please be a regular here!!!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> Same here....what do you think I am.....when she is not in the mood I don't push it, but she knows that from time to time, she needs to let me put out that fire.....and if that means, letting me enjoy her in different ways, or asking her for a few special things, why not?? I am not asking her to do a threesome or to put a can in her vagina....it is about she showing me that she wants me and that I can touch her whatever I want and kiss her whatever I want and ask her to give me a bj after her first orgasm and while she gives me the bj to reach my first orgasm, I want to try a dildo in her and see if I can be succesfull at giver her another orgasm while she sucks my pe...s....what is wrong with those things??


I told my husband about this dildo idea, he is very excited. He is A MAN. You know! YOU MEN, sick bastards!  I guess we are going to try that very soon!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Nothing wrong, sorry I think I misunderstood you in some ways. It's terrific to be more playful in bed and spice up sexual life. There's just a thing that is a bit confusing when you said your wife was not very responsive to show her love, but you did say you had sex with her quite often, including her giving you good blow jobs... Etc. She doesn't mind you bought sex toys and is happy to give it a try with you. She's been pleasing you the way you like, right, hasn't she?
So what do you mean she's not showing her love to you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Thanks greenpearl, I understand what you mean you need to please everybody in his family except yourself. Canada indeed a very beautiful place.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Hi greenpearl, can I ask where your husband comes from? He doesn't look very taiwanese.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Canada!
The answer is also at What is a good woman?

Thank you for asking!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Yes. Sorry I just saw it. That's why your english is quite good compare with many taiwanese people. You've got a great sleeping dictionary. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Men's hearts are connected to their second heads?! Lol. First time I heard from a man say so. Mostly I heard complaints from wives about what their husbands care about the most is the happiness in the bedroom. So it's true... :d
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

MsLonely said:


> OKEYDOKIE,
> 
> You're getting me very wrong and being offensive to my comment. I'm not slapping on good women who enjoy pleasing their husbands. I'm proud of them actually. What I concern is their happiness to do it. To speak more honestly, I'd love to slap on those husbands who insist in making their wives as pron stars because it's true that pron stars ARE PAID to entertain you in many naughty and nasty ways.
> 
> ...



-you used the term "NASTY" to describe the act.
-you said porn stars are PAID to swallow inferring thats the only reason they do or the only reason anyone would.
-you infer that the OP is trying to force his wife to do things she doesnt want when in fact it only appears he wishes she would and doesnt understand why she wont.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> That's because you already dealt with your demons and learned to feel comfortable with allowing yourself to feel horny and adventures...good for you!!!...but there are other women that just can't find in them to relax and enjoy sex to the fullest...why?? if everyone has the potential, because I think they have not dealt with their own demons....to my wife I told and finally she understood that I cannot go longer in our relationship if I am not to receive the same I give....I just can't work feeling neglected...and that's the problem with a lot of women that you don't understand what you are missing because you don't want to grow in the sex department...if you keep on doing the same, I am telling you your husband will keep fantasizing, watching porn, masturbating, going to strippers, and or will not give you the closeness and level of connection that would've made you feel like life is worth living..... :scratchhead:


What you are saying is that if a woman does not act out your fantasies you have no option but to cheat so she had better put on a show for your pleasure. 
Can you see how repugnant that is? A woman needs to be a porn star to keep her husband. 
I would not mind being a porn star for my husband if he looked as good and was as big as the male porn actors. However, he does not inspire that kind of enthusiasm. I fantasize about a men with a large penises, tall, flat abdomen, good looking when I masturbate with my vibrator. I fantasize about having anal sex, but not with my husband, sex outdoors but not with my husband. mild bondage but not with my husband. 

I would never tell my husband or do any of my fantasies or even hint at doing any of them. He was like you when we first got married, complaints about my performance, what I would not do and made hints about going out side of the marriage. 

I would have been glad to do whatever he wanted if he was appreciative of what I did do. But bj where not enough I had to swallow, let him cum on my face, change positions 10 times during sex, be pounded doggie style, allow him to jam his penis in my anus. If I felt like being held during sex instead of being observed he was unhappy, if I wanted to make love and be held lovingly I was boring. Those things killed my desire to please him because he was beyond satisfying. 

When he started with veiled threats about what he thought other women would do for him, that did it for me. It became so unpleasant that I lost my desire to have sex with him. I hate his touch and avoid him until I can't avoid him any more. When I have sex with him I have my fantasies and I make him finish quickly with no fanfare. A far cry from what we once had and 
the porn star performance he thought he could coerce me to be. 

He does not know this but, if I get a hint he is cheating, I will leave. I stay so my kids have a father but I work and can support myself and them and shared finances. 

So for all the men who express dissatisfaction with your wife and don't appreciate anything she does because she will not do it just like the porn star of your fantasy, I offer this for your insight. Be satisfied with your wives, you are not entitled to a porn star for your pleasure you married a human not a convenient object to work out you porn fantasies. Stop looking at porn and love you wives. You will never find a woman to perform for you, why should any woman, who are you that you inspire such excitement and sex slavery . 

I am certain my hubby is completely confused about what happened I never told him. I know he is frustrated but I don't know what to do for him. I felt like an object being manipulated to satisfy his fantasies. The only thing is that I am human with feelings and dreams and desires as well. I have all the say in what I allow a man to touch my body.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> And to me that's the point.....you do it for love and the knowldege of how this act bring you closer to your husband...my wife does not swallow the whole thing, but I don't really care as long as she shows me that she also is enjoying it and do everything I like.....like liking the testiculos and the sides like she is going to eat it!!!.....you do that no matter what's in you mind, with time you'll learn to deal with your demons and at some point you'll start making peace with it, and hopefully enjoy it.....if you don't try to move ahead in how you deal with sex, your relationship is doomed to fail....that's how I see it...it is the same with all areas of your relationship, you have to take care of it...


It's not the woman's relationship that will fail it is the man's. You divorce chase the next porn star she gets you, you do the same thing you are doing now so she slowly loses her desire for you, so you leave her and go on to the next porn star until you can't get it up anymore and you just have your fantasies and desires and no woman.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> It's not the woman's relationship that will fail it is the man's. You divorce chase the next porn star she gets you, you do the same thing you are doing now so she slowly loses her desire for you, so you leave her and go on to the next porn star until you can't get it up anymore and you just have your fantasies and desires and no woman.


I understand everything you are saying but my relatioship with my wife is pretty different to yours....and now I've come to realized that not every woman can become a porn star in the bedroom for her husband...only those who are deeply in love with their husband and those who also are deeply attracted to their husband. For a woman to feel like wanting to experience a lot of new things in the bedroom she needs to feel happy, loved, stability and physically attracted to their husband...for this, the husband needs to be a gentleman, take care of themself, be a good parent, provider, friend and make your wife laugh.....when there is a feeling of full happiness in the woman;s heart and head, then the man could ask the wife to be a porn start in the bedroom for him - this morning I told my wife that I was going to be happy with our sex live even if those special things that I want in the sex department do not happen often....I just wanted to let her know that she is not an object for me for my own pleasure, but the person i love the most in this world and the I appriciate everything she's done for us to make our relationship stronger and that I want to experience with her new things but when she feels in the mood for them - she seems receptive and willing....so I am happy althoght they may not happen as soon as i will like but i am doing my part in trying to be a good husband but at the same time, she understand that she needs to be a good wife to me too.....do you agree?:scratchhead:


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

You better be careful how tightly you corner that cat lest she scratches you back.

Maybe your wife is more compliant then me. I am willing to listen till someone demands something of me. How can you limit her worth to her sexual willingness. I also can't help but resent you for perhaps feeding fears or insecurities she may have you have no notion about. 

I sent your OP to my husband. He agrees couples should make efforts to meet each others sexual needs with respect to specific boundaries. Thats exactly how I feel. 

I think you also do your gender a disservice by saying every one wants a porn star in the bedroom. Not only that but I just can't believe all men like the same kind of sexual acts or porn just like not all men like blonds, brunettes, stick figures or full figures.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Idontknownow said:


> You better be careful how tightly you corner that cat lest she scratches you back.
> 
> Maybe your wife is more compliant then me. I am willing to listen till someone demands something of me. How can you limit her worth to her sexual willingness. I also can't help but resent you for perhaps feeding fears or insecurities she may have you have no notion about.
> 
> ...


I agree!...that's why I am saying it depends of the level of connection and intimacy you have with your husband. In my case, I know my wife now 22 years we started dating when she was 17 and I was 18 - we dated for 6 years before we married - and I can tell you all our lives I had a problem with our sex life....she once said that she needs to feel happy and relax to be able to want to experience more in this department. My problem with your thinking is that you think I am forcing my wife to do something she doesn't want....this is not the case, what I am doing is trying to make her feel how this can be something special between us (that not all couples have) and that in order for it to work, we both need to talk about it so when something new happens we have a better chance that we both like it...if not, we'll see next time what else may make our hearts warm...I know of a fact that she enjoys me very much as she experiences 2 orgasms every time we are together - that is almost everyday...once we went 7 days in a row...the problem is when it becomes boring....so I know she enjoys sex very much, now I need to let her know what I want, and hopefully she'll be willing to try it...isn't this part of being a couple very much in love???:smthumbup:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

marcopoly69 said:


> I've come to realized that not every woman can become a porn star in the bedroom for her husband...only those who are deeply in love with their husband and those who also are deeply attracted to their husband. For a woman to feel like wanting to experience a lot of new things in the bedroom she needs to feel happy, loved, stability and physically attracted to their husband...for this, the husband needs to be a gentleman, take care of themself, be a good parent, provider, friend and make your wife laugh.....when there is a feeling of full happiness in the woman;s heart and head, then the man could ask the wife to be a porn start in the bedroom for him


 My husband has never asked me but I LOVE being his Porn Star, it's all been MY call, MY desire. This is kind of rediculous, but I wish he would ask more of me ! He is the kind of man you describe here and he makes me FEEL the way you describe here. All so very very true. 

I think it is good that you are not pushing this on her though, hopefully, in time, and patience, with you learning what truly arouses HER, she will be more willing to please you in every way, incuding some of your wildest fantasies. 


marcopoly69 said:


> ...our hearts are connected to ours penises


 Many Many books about the Blessings of sexual intimacy will bear this truth about men. Couldn't agree with this statement more.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

marc,

I'm a bit confused. You've been married for over 20 years, right? In a thread you started about a month ago you described your wife as being conservative in bed and, at times, lacking enthusiasm for trying new things.

Sometimes it sounds like you are bragging about your sex life - very frequent, multiple orgasms, 7 days in a row, etc. But at the same time, you aren't happy.


It sounds to me like your wife does not want to do certain things - but you REALLY REALLY want her to do these things (esp. anal). Since you can't quite convince her on your own, you sought out "help" from this board. But instead of getting help, you are now arguing with any advice given by anyone who disagrees with you.

I think instead of arguing so much, you need to spend more time reading and trying to understand what the people here are trying to tell you.

Good luck.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> I understand everything you are saying but my relatioship with my wife is pretty different to yours....and now I've come to realized that not every woman can become a porn star in the bedroom for her husband...only those who are deeply in love with their husband and those who also are deeply attracted to their husband. For a woman to feel like wanting to experience a lot of new things in the bedroom she needs to feel happy, loved, stability and physically attracted to their husband...for this, the husband needs to be a gentleman, take care of themself, be a good parent, provider, friend and make your wife laugh.....when there is a feeling of full happiness in the woman;s heart and head, then the man could ask the wife to be a porn start in the bedroom for him - this morning I told my wife that I was going to be happy with our sex live even if those special things that I want in the sex department do not happen often....I just wanted to let her know that she is not an object for me for my own pleasure, but the person i love the most in this world and the I appriciate everything she's done for us to make our relationship stronger and that I want to experience with her new things but when she feels in the mood for them - she seems receptive and willing....so I am happy althoght they may not happen as soon as i will like but i am doing my part in trying to be a good husband but at the same time, she understand that she needs to be a good wife to me too.....do you agree?:scratchhead:


I wish more men realized this. I wish you would start a tread with that sentiment. You are so right it's premature and unfair to expect a woman to be enthusiastic when the man is not making the extra effort to take care of her emotional needs. 

Woman are so different emotionally than men. The be sexually adventurous, she has to feel safe from judgement. That means a lover that will not behave badly when he does not get exactly what he wants but to be truly happy with the women's. If I were very happy I might have come around to doing some of the things he wanted but only after feeling loved then I could go the extra mile for such a loving man. He was impatient critical and threatened to cheat. Do you think any being with self respect would respond positively to coercion? 

Men say - why do they have to jump through hoops to have satisfying sex. A woman could ask why do men demand so much sexually -Men want women to jump through hoops to make things exciting for them but they don't want to it for women. I understand the emotional basis, I know it is a man's way to feel loved and accepted. Knowing that, I am willing to do what makes him happy by jumping through hoops and pushing my limits. 

I will tell you why it is so difficult to be adventurous sexually - have you herd the words that are thrown at woman ****, scank, dirty, *****, and many other. You have said these things is from=nt of your wife or are silent when you hear other men say it. Do you hear the negative portrayal of woman who like sex? Do you hear men say that they only want to marry a woman who is a virgin or who has had few lovers? You probably let your wife know that it was the basis of your selection of her. You tell her you would not marry a woman you just eeefed. 

Men express these cruel things all the time and then don't like the consequences. They want all but give nothing. He just wants a ***** when he marries, someone that he has clearly expressed a dislike for. No love of you is not enough, I am sorry men think that but the negativity is too strong and it is difficult to love that ignorant entitled and selfish part of a man. Only parents give unconditional love, not adults. 

Relationships between adults are an exchange of satisfactions that is the way nature made us humans. Evolutionally, If one person sacrificed everything for another they would not survive. Self sacrifice has been bred out of us, some men have a hard time seeing that. 

The nature of your question, shows you don't accept the role of men in the problems. It is only the woman Your approached is based on blaming and complaining about woman. You get only resistance 

Do you understand now?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

f one man would sincerely acknowledge the problems that society has with female sexuality it would go a long way. If one man railed agist the portrayal of women as sex object that would go a long way. If one man would correct other man when they call women names or respond to this tread with understanding that will go a long way.

The men who respect women, who realize the impediments to women feeling sexuality free, not the lest of which is an impossibly high standard of beauty, are the ones who are able to realize their hopes and dreams they are not posting here. 

This is the solution to your dilemma - change your focus from what you want to what you need you are entitled to, you are really entitled to a lot less that you realize. Go and create the environment that a women needs to bring out her inner freak. Demands, expression of dissatisfaction, entitlement, anger obviously don't work. A couple is required to have mutually enjoying sex, but the woman is not required to entertain her husband. They are both required to please each other and to respect boundaries. The fact that women are usually the ones to set boundaries should be accepted. A man must set boundaries and they should be accepted. If your wife wanted to put on a dildo on and do you in the butt, or she wanted to strike you with a cane, or she wanted you to dress in all leather including you face, or she wanted to pee on your face. And she railed against you because you do not love her enough to please her. If you are entitled, so is she. Lets say she watches women dominating men porn and wanted to dominate you. How would you feel. What if a woman wrote a question similar to yours "why aren't husbands more adventurous in the bedroom and more like porn stars to please their wives. Large members, abs, really built, handsome, virile"? What would your reaction be. Tell the truth. 

I think more women should turn it around and ask men for things that involve them doing things they would not ordinarily do. That would make them think and not be so self centered, But men are certain that will not happen because woman are too kind and careful of the male ego but we do not get the same consideration and they control the expression of female sexuality and she would be considered a ****.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

FeelsBadMan said:


> This topic made me join because the OP described my sex life to a T. I love my wife but when the things we use to do when we were dating, the things I loved and didn't even have to ask for just go away after marriage, I feel like I've been tricked.
> Yes we've had the talks the arguments and the whole nine but nothing changes. I think some women just say the hell with it when in all honesty if you leave them they'll just be doing to someone else what they could've been doing to you the whole time. The bait and switch routine is tired ladies if you don't like something don't do it at all, because if a man likes it he's gonna want it!


What was your bait and switch? How did you change just after the wedding - did you ignore her because you had her now, did you refuse to do the little things that are important to her but not to you? Are you disrespectful of her demanding? do you think you are entitled to the acts she did before marriage, is that why you married her because she did sex acts? I don't feel any sympathy for you because you don't acknowledge your role and you do have one. 

A woman gives a much to a man but she runs out of juice if he begins to take her for granted. Women will give and give asking for what they need but if it falls on deaf ears, she stops. All the while the man is happy he gets all the sex he wants he thinks she accepts as he is even if he does nothing to accommodate her. 

Do you show the same appreciation and love for what she does do. Did you start to demand more and more sex that was one sided, more frequent bj, (after all she is your wife her mouth is there for your use every day), quickies because you are tired of the long time it takes her to warm up?. More porn type sex that is more like eeeefing than loving, do you want to spice things up with porn sex? You do realize that porn acts are made to male pleasure not women so the more you want this stuff the more imbalance the sex becomes. How about foreplay, maybe you thought because you are married she did not ned it all the time or just shortened How good of a lover are you? If it's over in 10 mins she is not satisfied. When was the last time you read a book on female sexuality? When was the last time you did something just to make her happy and expected no sex in return? Examine the quality of sex you had, ignore the premarital sex., she had stars in her eyes and wanted to give all to you. If you made the mistake of continuing that pattern then you have expect her to get bored with you. 

You are the only one who knows your contribution to your problem. You will not admit it because you feel entitled and you married her for self centered reason so of course you are disappointed. You expected an available sex toy to take out of a box not a wife.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> I understand everything you are saying but my relatioship with my wife is pretty different to yours....and now I've come to realized that not every woman can become a porn star in the bedroom for her husband...only those who are deeply in love with their husband and those who also are deeply attracted to their husband. For a woman to feel like wanting to experience a lot of new things in the bedroom she needs to feel happy, loved, stability and physically attracted to their husband...for this, the husband needs to be a gentleman, take care of themself, be a good parent, provider, friend and make your wife laugh.....when there is a feeling of full happiness in the woman;s heart and head, then the man could ask the wife to be a porn start in the bedroom for him - this morning I told my wife that I was going to be happy with our sex live even if those special things that I want in the sex department do not happen often....I just wanted to let her know that she is not an object for me for my own pleasure, but the person i love the most in this world and the I appriciate everything she's done for us to make our relationship stronger and that I want to experience with her new things but when she feels in the mood for them - she seems receptive and willing....so I am happy althoght they may not happen as soon as i will like but i am doing my part in trying to be a good husband but at the same time, she understand that she needs to be a good wife to me too.....do you agree?:scratchhead:


If she is willing then you have accomplished something good. Just remember that this is for the long run so why spoil it with impatience. It's wonderful that she wants to try new things it is very difficult for women because there is always the suspicion that they are being used by the man. If you are impatient when you said you would wait until she is ready then you have be honest and say it is about you. There your position is much more difficult to defend. 

You cannot use the common male argument that if she loved you she would do what you want, woman have herd this from men all their lives. It's code for "I want something from you for my pleasure and the only enjoyment you should expect is that I enjoy myself. Your love for me should be so strong and unconditional that you allow me to use your body to live out fantasies that have nothing to do with you. You just happen to be a person with the right body parts to service me" She may agree to let you do it just to get some relief from you pestering her. 

You have to ask yourself how many times does she need to prove she loves you and watch you take pleasure using her body? would you do that for her? All I am saying is that this attitude is inconsistent with love- you may love her but not enough to to be patient, not enough to not make sex all about you. If you are having sex 7 days a week that is quite a lot maybe too much. If you had it less frequently, you would not be so bored. 

My advice is to stop watching porn and concentrate on loving your wife. The more you watch porn the more intense your cravings are and the more impatient you will behave. Your fantasies are fueled by porn not love or concern for your wife's pleasure or happiness. Out of love for her comfort and happiness will you kick the porn habit? If you love her you would do it for her. If you can come up with all kinds of reason that you don't have to do it, then you should be able to understand how she feels. You can't give up the porn for her and she can't be a porn actress for you.

I feel very bad for your wife, I can imagine how her life is to have a man like you constantly at her for sex. I think you should be careful with her, she may get to a point where she stops having sex with you and wish that you cheat or leave. If she wants to escape your constant pestering and badgering her for sex. 

Sounds like she does not have a moment alone without being prodded and poked by the man who is supposed to love her and look out for her. Do you have anytime to talk about anything else but what you want sexually? Do have any interest besides sex? Do you have time to exercise? Play sports? Do you take your wife and kids places? Does she get any time away from you to reclaim her body? Do you talk to her about anything else besides sex? When you see her, do you just think about what you want to do sexually with her? 

How do you show your love for her besides just talk and sexual demands? I may have this all wrong but reading your post makes me feel lucky that I am not in your wife's situation. I must be honest and say that for all that you say, I don't really think your motives are her pleasure but strictly yours own. 

Actions speak louder than words and your actions tell the real story. She probably knows that too. But she may be stuck with you because of kids and finances and feels she must tolerate you until she can get away. Do you think this is the case? Is she free top leave or is she totally dependent on you? If she worked and made a high salary do you think she would stay with you? I am sorry to sound so cold but I have to say. 

Yes, sex is a positive thing about marriage but not the most important thing. Sexual variety makes things fun and fresh but only if the variety is for both parties and not forced on one person. Compromise is a sign of love on the part of each person but is one person must have every thing they want or they will make their partners life a living hell then that's not love, that's an association of connivence for a man who views his wife as a substitute for a prostitute or porn actress and not much else. I wish you and your wife the very best and I hope I am wrong. 

I am only guessing but I think that's what her life is probably a living hell.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

hey Catherine, outta curiousity, would you urself do something kinky in the bedroom just to please ur partner? he may not ask/push u to do it but u know that it pleases him should u do it..?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Catherine602 said:


> I am only guessing but I think that's what her life is probably a living hell.


Darn Catherine, you are being a little nasty to marcopoly69. I feel like sticking up for him! I do not know this original poster or his story, but I can attest to knowing GOOD loving caring husbands who have wives who simply care nothing for their needs. Zero enthusiam in the bedroom. I talk to one of them on the phone a few times a month, I do not know how he stays with her! She is my friend & I say this. She talks about how much she loves him on facebook & brags on him, he is the most wonderful thing that ever happened in her life, then tells me she has left him crying when she refuses him sex and thinks nothing of it, completly emotionless. But she loves him. 

It happens more than you would think, (Good men, uncaring no drive women), maybe not in your sitaution, it sounds as though maybe your husband has ignored your emotional needs so you feel This man must be doing the same. Maybe he is !! I dont know!! I just felt like sticking up for him after those posts I read. 
But to categorize ALL men who have this struggle with their wives with the same broad paint brush, even if they do enjoy porn & have such fantasies, well, I don't think that is fair. 

Most porn is pathetic, unrealistic and shocking, but some is geared towards women & their enjoyment. A little softer touch, try PlayGIRL Dvd's.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Darn Catherine, you are being a little nasty to marcopoly69. I feel like sticking up for him! I do not know this original poster or his story, but I can attest to knowing GOOD loving caring husbands who have wives who simply care nothing for their needs. Zero enthusiam in the bedroom. I talk to one of them on the phone a few times a month, I do not know how he stays with her! She is my friend & I say this. She talks about how much she loves him on facebook & brags on him, he is the most wonderful thing that ever happened in her life, then tells me she has left him crying when she refuses him sex and thinks nothing of it, completly emotionless. But she loves him.
> 
> It happens more than you would think, (Good men, uncaring no drive women), maybe not in your sitaution, it sounds as though maybe your husband has ignored your emotional needs so you feel This man must be doing the same. Maybe he is !! I dont know!! I just felt like sticking up for him after those posts I read.
> But to categorize ALL men who have this struggle with their wives with the same broad paint brush, even if they do enjoy porn & have such fantasies, well, I don't think that is fair.
> ...


Marco has a very sweet wife and he is a loving husband, he really wants to spice up their sex and get both of them wild in the bedroom. Nothing wrong. 

I just told Marco to slow down a little bit. Don't try out all the fun too soon, right!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

malmale said:


> hey Catherine, outta curiousity, would you urself do something kinky in the bedroom just to please ur partner? he may not ask/push u to do it but u know that it pleases him should u do it..?


Yes I don't know what you have in mind but theses are things I can only dream of doing if I were with a man who accepted me and did not criticize me

I have a vivid imagination
Sex while bent over a truck seat from behind with my pants down around my ankles and dress up
light bondage with a man's tie while he does me while I am lying on my stomach 
Anal sex
Oral sex with him or top moving in and out of my mouth not degrading deep or gaging though
dress up I just stated wearing platform with 4 inch high heals. I would love to have sex in them
I am a good girl Catholic school 2 partners before a married.

If a wife you considered a good girl told you she wanted to do the things I want to do, tell very honestly what you would think of her.

That is a factor that inhibits me I would just would want to die if a man I loved thought badly of me.

I think although men say they like a woman who is sexually adventurous, I have a suspicion that it would cause trouble. 

If I told my husband he would want to know were I got the ideas, if I ever did these things. I know he would so I will never tell him. He would defiantly think differently of me. The things he says about women related to sexuality shows what he really thinks.

Is that what you mean i would never involve another person or anything degrading, painful, harmful.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Marco has a very sweet wife and he is a loving husband, he really wants to spice up their sex and get both of them wild in the bedroom. Nothing wrong.
> 
> I just told Marco to slow down a little bit. Don't try out all the fun too soon, right!


I did read some of his previous post after I wrote that I think you are right. Also I see that he is hispanic and so am I so I understand better from a cultural standpoint. Hispanic men are very passionate and devoted to family. Not saying other men are not, but the tradition is very strong. 
So I concede, It sounds rather cute Now that I read his post. Not horrible as this isolated post would suggest. He really does come across as rather cute and good. 

Sorry Marco did have enough info.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> I did read some of his previous post after I wrote that I think you are right. Also I see that he is hispanic and so am I so I understand better from a cultural standpoint. Hispanic men are very passionate and devoted to family. Not saying other men are not, but the tradition is very strong.
> So I concede, It sounds rather cute Now that I read his post. Not horrible as this isolated post would suggest. He really does come across as rather cute and good.
> 
> Sorry Marco did have enough info.


I want to find out how handsome and romantic MARCO is. 

My husband also told me that men from South America are romantic. They like to dance, right???

Latin dance, YEAH..........................


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Catherine602 said:


> The things he says about women related to sexuality shows what he really thinks.


 This is the problem, your man has HURT you, he has degraded you, he has associated dirtiness with most women. 

Not all men are like this and not all women are like that!

And Yes, most married men WANT, CRAVE, DESIRE the adventerous woman in bed. Your husband has stunted that within you by his previous words, they sting and now you fear to live out your fantasies with him. Boy is he ever an A-****.

You are right in NEEDING to feel totally ACCEPTED for who you are , what you can bring to the bedroom, and what you can unleash on him. 

Totally normal to have such fantasies, the higher the sex drive, the more the fantasy life generally. Good girls, even virgins have such fantasies. You are so normal, nothing to be ashamed of at all.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Yes, salsa, meringue, very sesual the men move much better that American men they are not stiff. I wish I married a hispanic man. I really think I did not know or really understand what my husband was really like. I was born in the US but my family was very close nit. The only friends I had were my cousins and sister. I feel more latin than American because I had no contact with Americans until I went to school at age 5 ys. My english was even accented, the nuns said I needed to speak properly!!


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

so if the eastern men like us who ace in latin dances, can u consider us sensual too? LOL

fyi, there's a huge following of salsa/meringue/bachata here in malaysia too!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> This is the problem, your man has HURT you, he has degraded you, he has associated dirtiness with most women.
> 
> Not all men are like this and not all women are like that!
> 
> ...


I should say he never said any of these things to me directly but when there is some scandal involving woman he says nasty things. For instance, Do you remember the Kendra Wilkerson Sp? tapes released by her exbf. 

I was livid that he released a private tape of sex with him, a man she loved and never expecting that it would be released. My husband, on the other hand , was critical of her for making the tape he felt she deserved to be exposed because she should have been smart enough not to make it. He didn't think the bf was scum and jealous of her success. 

This from a man who want me to be a freak in bed. If I told him my fantasies I thinks he would think I was possessed. Although I am certain that he would love to do every one but could not accept that I came up with them. 

I brought a vibrator in Jan and had my first orgasm!!. Boy was that wonderful now I know why people crave sex so much. I started to message my anus when I felt it contracting when I had an orgasm. It feels so good. I know this is TMI but I am so excited. I can't tell anyone else so forums are my outlet. I have learned so much since Jan. 

My husband would probably bet his life that I don't think about sex but I do all of the time.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

malmale said:


> so if the eastern men like us who ace in latin dances, can u consider us sensual too? LOL
> 
> fyi, there's a huge following of salsa/meringue/bachata here in malaysia too!



Mal, 

For sexy dance, I'd like to watch sexy men. 

Unless you are 180, well build, then I want to watch you dance Bachacha, for short Asian men I have seen, I am not aroused, sorry!!!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Marco, 

Come.....................

And show us how sexy you are........................


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Mal,
> 
> For sexy dance, I'd like to watch sexy men.
> 
> Unless you are 180, well build, then I want to watch you dance Bachacha, for short Asian men I have seen, I am not aroused, sorry!!!


LOL
am actually more than 180, 184(6 footer) to be exact! and yeah, pretty ok built too!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

malmale said:


> LOL
> am actually more than 180, 184(6 footer) to be exact! and yeah, pretty ok built too!


WOW, SEXY....................

TOO BAD your woman doesn't know how to enjoy you!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> WOW, SEXY....................
> 
> TOO BAD your woman doesn't know how to enjoy you!


LOL
Well, be happy with what u have, it could be much worse yeah! :smthumbup:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> marc,
> 
> I'm a bit confused. You've been married for over 20 years, right? In a thread you started about a month ago you described your wife as being conservative in bed and, at times, lacking enthusiasm for trying new things.
> 
> ...


I am listening....and I am applying what I've learned here...I tell my wife about how women here don't agree with me expecting her to be in bed extacly what my fantacies are....in addition, among my problems with my wife, was that she neglected me during the day....I would write to her and she did not answer me....I would do so many romantic things for her and at night she wouldn't really show much exitment to do anything special.....it is not about quantity, is about quality when you have been with the same person for 20 years....trust me if your wife gives you a lot of vaginal sex where you are the only one doing most of the work, you'll end up recenting your wife....we, men, need to be taken care off too.....and the way we feel this, is when the woman show us that they really want us....you know what I mean...I had have a lot of problems trying to get my wife to understand me why I need this...I need to feel sexy and wanted...she wouldn't do either....now it is happening....and I thank this forum becasue it gave me a different perspective......


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## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

So is this, after all, about her refusing to do certain things, or about the lack of enthusiasm you perceive in your wife?
"I need to feel sexy and wanted" we all need that. I personally think (and feel free to contradict me as much as you want), that what you're missing is something about your wife's attitude as a whole, rather than her refusing to do certain things.

I believe if she were to say "i hate anal so we won't do it" but then proceeded to tearing the clothes of you and show you how much she wants you, you wouldn't be complaining about anything. Is this what you mean?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

I really think you may be "crowding/smothering" your W with all this text/flirting stuff. If she is NOT responding that usually means she doesn't like it. 

It would drive me crazy if my W was "needy".



marcopoly69 said:


> I am listening....and I am applying what I've learned here...I tell my wife about how women here don't agree with me expecting her to be in bed extacly what my fantacies are....in addition, among my problems with my wife, was that she neglected me during the day....I would write to her and she did not answer me....I would do so many romantic things for her and at night she wouldn't really show much exitment to do anything special.....it is not about quantity, is about quality when you have been with the same person for 20 years....trust me if your wife gives you a lot of vaginal sex where you are the only one doing most of the work, you'll end up recenting your wife....we, men, need to be taken care off too.....and the way we feel this, is when the woman show us that they really want us....you know what I mean...I had have a lot of problems trying to get my wife to understand me why I need this...I need to feel sexy and wanted...she wouldn't do either....now it is happening....and I thank this forum becasue it gave me a different perspective......


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> If she is willing then you have accomplished something good. Just remember that this is for the long run so why spoil it with impatience. It's wonderful that she wants to try new things it is very difficult for women because there is always the suspicion that they are being used by the man. If you are impatient when you said you would wait until she is ready then you have be honest and say it is about you. There your position is much more difficult to defend.
> 
> You cannot use the common male argument that if she loved you she would do what you want, woman have herd this from men all their lives. It's code for "I want something from you for my pleasure and the only enjoyment you should expect is that I enjoy myself. Your love for me should be so strong and unconditional that you allow me to use your body to live out fantasies that have nothing to do with you. You just happen to be a person with the right body parts to service me" She may agree to let you do it just to get some relief from you pestering her.
> 
> ...


WOW!!! you are tough cookie!!....and very norrow minded as well.....My wife has been all her life the kind of person that do not invest too much in her relationship...she is very loving towards her children and mother....I am, in the other hand, very loving towards my wife.....to me the most important person in the world is me follow very closely by her....and then, the children...(of course, illnesses are priority) but what I trying to say is that my jurney with my wife has been to let her understand the importance of feeling close to each other....if we don't try to find a balance between what makes her happy and what makes me happy, then I marriage could be over once the kids grow up....my wife is happy....I am a good man - she is the one who was not tought how to be in a relationship because her parents don't have one....on the other hand, my mother always suffer because my father neglected her...I refuse to go the same path....and now things are much better....to me sex in a marriage has to be exiting and feel you with pleasure and gratitud and love....if not, it becomes borring and a duty.......so please, don't think my wife is in hell because she is not...I here because I am interested in here from other woman and men....it helps me to be more tolerant and patients...but you don't understand how it feels when you give and give to your wife, family, your wife's family, and nobody tells you not even a thank you...see my point?...you get tired of this...and when your wife is not capable to make you feel loved, or sexy or handosme....and you always tell her how beatifule she is, etc,,,that hurts after a while and she needs to change....what she is doing......so, it is not about sex is about connection and passion for your life with your wife...


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> My husband has never asked me but I LOVE being his Porn Star, it's all been MY call, MY desire. This is kind of rediculous, but I wish he would ask more of me ! He is the kind of man you describe here and he makes me FEEL the way you describe here. All so very very true.
> 
> I think it is good that you are not pushing this on her though, hopefully, in time, and patience, with you learning what truly arouses HER, she will be more willing to please you in every way, incuding some of your wildest fantasies.
> 
> ...


Thank you you get it!!......I love my wife so much that even write on the fruit I put in her lunch everyday....I draw hearts and tell her how much I LOVE HER!!!


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Catherine602 said:


> It's not the woman's relationship that will fail it is the man's. You divorce chase the next porn star she gets you, you do the same thing you are doing now so she slowly loses her desire for you, so you leave her and go on to the next porn star until you can't get it up anymore and you just have your fantasies and desires and no woman.


That's not true...if you take care of yourself and have a close connection with your partner in life, you can enjoy sex until you died....my point is.....if you think so much about sex, don't you think that you need to tell your partner and let them know how you feel?....why it is a problem for you wanting to be as free as you can be in the bedroom.....there are boundaries....of things I would never ask my wife to do...what I am looking for right now is to spice things up...she would love me to keep in given her 2 orgasms everynight!..let me tell you that much!...and I would love keeping her having them...but from time to time, you need things that power your engine so you can keep making love to your wife through out the day and when she just want to have vaginal sex.....so how do you know that you wouldn't like something until you actually try it - to me, I understand now that is important to be prepared and patience if things don't go the way you would've liked it, but this does not mean we will stop trying to spice things up in the bedroom is all about feeling close and connected and very much in love:smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> Thank you you get it!!......I love my wife so much that even write on the fruit I put in her lunch everyday....I draw hearts and tell her how much I LOVE HER!!!


WOW, ROMANTIC....................................

Do you dance for her?????????????


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Marco You are an uncommon man, after 20 yrs, you still love your wife with a passion that is wonderful. You show her that you love her in many ways that's why I think you have succeeded in changing things around because she feels your love and caring. My response to your original post was harsh because what you are proposing is so repugnant. A wife should be a porn star! That's an insult. But in reading your other post, I understand better. 

If you were not so loving the you would deserve to be pilloried. Just be cautious and realize that porn sex is for the pleasure of males only so that's why it is so repugnant. The women are used as props and your thread question was essentially "why wont my wife just act like a sex prop and not demand anything of me" That's the way porn actresses are why would a wife want to be a sex prop? I don't think that is what you meant.

I understand what sex means to men, I know it is not just a release for men who love their wives. Many woman don't understand that sex keeps the bond of love and it reassures a man that you love him. But it is difficult to over come the constant messages women get about their sexuality. Woman are made to feel shame that they have sexual feelings, that repression does not lift just because she gets married. 

I know it is incomprehensible to you but it is there. Pay attention to the attitudes of society to female sexuality outside of marriage. There is much judgement and shaming of woman. You never hear these judgments directed at men nor are men made to feel ashamed of their sexual feelings. If you understand that you will approach your wife with more sympathy for her feelings. 

Be careful not to push too hard, just because she has orgasms it does not mean she needs to do everything you want. Give it time, look at it this way, you are building up sexual equity if you just let her enjoy herself and not try to push your agenda right away. Remember you want things to last so you want to build on a firm foundation and if she is happy now let her be happy for a while.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

[/QUOTE]Be careful not to push too hard, just because she has orgasms it does not mean she needs to do everything you want. Give it time, look at it this way, you are building up sexual equity if you just let her enjoy herself and not try to push your agenda right away. Remember you want things to last so you want to build on a firm foundation and if she is happy now let her be happy for a while.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for your words...and believe or not, I am being more patients...We've been three nights in a row intimate, and I have made love to her the way she wants me...I make sure I listen to her so when she is getting close to her first orgasm, I can help her to arrive there. My fantasy (the one I already talked to her about) was that after her first orgasm, she could make me cum with a BJ - I just can imagine how it must feel - having her lips putting pressure, etc...and while she is doing this, since I know she'll be ready and close to have another orgasm, I would like to stimulate her with a dildo (that I bought that measures the same as my penis), and hopefully, make her enjoy herself and cum again while she gives me oral....is that too much for a woman?? - I have told her once a day about it, and she still does not feel ready...and I am being patient and loving and waiting....and concentrating in the good things we already have....but again, thank you for being an advocate for women...I believe women are very special....and always tell it to my daughters...:smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> WOW, ROMANTIC....................................
> 
> Do you dance for her?????????????


Don't dance for her, but I bring her tea, snacks, make sure we have entertainment on weekends at home (movie nights). It is a very nice loving time for us...I do my very best to take care of my family - don't drink!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> ..but you don't understand how it feels when you give and give to your wife, family, your wife's family, and nobody tells you not even a thank you...see my point?...you get tired of this...and when your wife is not capable to make you feel loved, or sexy or handosme....and you always tell her how beatifule she is, etc,,,that hurts after a while and she needs to change....what she is doing......so, it is not about sex is about connection and passion for your life with your wife...


I am on this forum because I am trying to work through and understand my troubled marriage and I'm sure I see things through the prism of my experience. My husband is nothing like you yet he would love to have a sex prop for a wife. He ignores me essentially until he wants sex and he has always been like that 

I have read this statement many times from men. And I can see that it is true, the man is often forgotten in the mix of children and family and work. If he is a good man, he deserves better. It is difficult to make the relationship the priority, after all, if it were not for the relationship nothing else would exist. 

However, men who are not good, and don't do their part in caring for the house and kids, cannot expect to be given priority. If he does not act like part of the team and change when kids come along and give his wife support then he is marginalized. This does not appear to be the case for you. 

But I agree that good men are pushed to the side. Women don't realize that they do this and don't understand their husband's hurt.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> Don't dance for her, but I bring her tea, snacks, make sure we have entertainment on weekends at home (movie nights). It is a very nice loving time for us...I do my very best to take care of my family - don't drink!



What a shame. 

We wanted you to dance for us!

You know, we all agree that Hispanic men are romantic, they are good at sexy Latin dance.......................

Tell me, are you handsome or not???

A stud at least has to be handsome and strong!!!


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> What a shame.
> 
> We wanted you to dance for us!
> 
> ...


Yeah!...I think I am a good looking guy...at least, woman look at me in the bus...I am very romantic...I also tell my kids how much I appreciate them...but I am also very passionate so I can be difficult at times... nowadays, however, I am experiencing more peace as I try to see the positive in my life when I am feeling blue.....thanks for your nice words, that is actually the truth..I do love my wife with all my heart and I've become the man I am because of her and she knows it....I think she's taken me for granted for a long time and it was hard for her to realize that, but now things have changed and the more she talks with other woman that are singled or divorced she sees that she has a good man beside her....you should've seen me when my kids were born!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Greenpearl is gonna drool over you... LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> Yeah!...I think I am a good looking guy...at least, woman look at me in the bus...I am very romantic...I also tell my kids how much I appreciate them...but I am also very passionate so I can be difficult at times... nowadays, however, I am experiencing more peace as I try to see the positive in my life when I am feeling blue.....thanks for your nice words, that is actually the truth..I do love my wife with all my heart and I've become the man I am because of her and she knows it....I think she's taken me for granted for a long time and it was hard for her to realize that, but now things have changed and the more she talks with other woman that are singled or divorced she sees that she has a good man beside her....you should've seen me when my kids were born!


I am happy to know that. 

Please remember, we don't get everything. Your wife should really appreciate you for being a wonderful husband, seeing so many broken marriages on the forum and so many unhappy marriages in real life, your wife should be grateful to you. I am grateful to my husband, that's why I try so hard to please him. Faithful and romantic husbands are rare. 

But still, Marco, please don't blame her for something she lacks, I am sure she has a lot of good qualities for you to be so obsessed of her. We all have imperfection. Please don't think that we are the greatest, we have bad qualities, too. 

Please be happy that at least we have happy marriages. 

I am going to bed, your thread has been so long..................

Is getting sxxt from women fun???

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Greenpearl is gonna drool over you... LOL
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You bet!!!

I am going to have a dream about A ROMANTIC STUD!

Hell NO, I am going to grab my husband's cxxx and go to sleep with a big smile!!!


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

LOL grab it to sleep...


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> You bet!!!
> 
> I am going to have a dream about A ROMANTIC STUD!
> 
> Hell NO, I am going to grab my husband's cxxx and go to sleep with a big smile!!!


How did your husband fall in to sleep with his thing grabbed? LOL His thing is also asleep at 6:30 direction...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> How did your husband fall in to sleep with his thing grabbed? LOL His thing is also asleep at 6:30 direction...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I do that every night before I fall sleep and every day when I take a nap. I grab his cxxx and make it hard, I play with it for about five or ten minutes, then I roll over and go to sleep. My husband has to serve me this way every time, I like it, he likes it.


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## bandofgold (Oct 12, 2010)

There is no problem, if and it's a big if, your wife is comfortable with this. In a loving and comfortable relationship, people can be whatever they want to be. Where it can be a problem is if you want your wife to be a porn star, but she has no interest or feels uncomfortable by your requests and or expectations. 

Have fun and enjoy each other.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

bottom line, if ur wife/partner wanna turn into the wild beast in bed, by all means please proceed, i think none of their male partners would complain.

however, if this is NOT something that she wants to perform willingly due to faith/upbringing/belief bla bla bla, by all means do not force her, it'll ultimately ruin ur relationship


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

malmale said:


> bottom line, if ur wife/partner wanna turn into the wild beast in bed, by all means please proceed, i think none of their male partners would complain


LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> I do that every night before I fall sleep and every day when I take a nap. I grab his cxxx and make it hard, I play with it for about five or ten minutes, then I roll over and go to sleep. My husband has to serve me this way every time, I like it, he likes it.


 LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Guys you should marry someone like greenpearl. She understands men very well especially their sexual needs. I'm still learning from her. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Guys you should marry someone like greenpearl, so you don't have to vent at SEX IN MARRIAGE. So, GO TO TAIWAN!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am not from Taiwan. 

I am from China. 

I don't find this joke respectful towards these men.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Ok so you're not from taiwan. What a pity... 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Joke is just a joke. Don't take it too seriously. As you always promote yourself as sex godness. So I just wanted to help you advertising it a bit. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Joke is just a joke. Don't take it too seriously. As you always promote yourself as sex godness. So I just wanted to help you advertising it a bit.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Do I need you to do that?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

greenpearl said:


> Do I need you to do that?


Free of charge 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## grade_school_love&married (Dec 30, 2011)

greenpearl said:


> Who said that you can't make your wife a porn star in the bedroom? If she wants it, go for it. But the problem is your wife, not us. For us, you can be her stud, she can be your whxxx. As long as you and your wife agree with it. If she can't serve like a porn star for you right now, then you work on it and wait for her to change.
> 
> I am a porn star for my husband. I do my best!




My husband and I soooo want to do porn videos and upload them to the internet but I think we are both having physical dilemmas with our bodies. I do wonder if even if we went ahead and did it, if him watching it actually online would turn him on???


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## grade_school_love&married (Dec 30, 2011)

MsLonely said:


> LOL
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I must say I like that!!!!!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I think it all depends on what one means by wanting the wife to become a porn star in the bedroom. If it just means a lot of wild sex.. I'm for it. And I don't know why any wife would not be.

But I'd like to know exactly what guys think having their wife act like a porn star means... what you do you want her to do?


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## MEM7 (Jan 2, 2012)

MsLonely said:


> Pron stars are PAID a killing to work. You watched too much pron and learnt all these naughty things, to be applied on your wife. I feel very sorry for your wife.
> 
> About you want your wife to swallow your semen, well, if you like your semen taste, just save it for yourself. You watched too much pron and learnt all these naughty things, to be applied on your wife, which is off your nuts. Tell me why you don't want to swallow your own semen but you want your wife to eat it to show how much she loves you?
> 
> ...


Now I know why you're Ms. Lonely.

You sound like you're not interested in trying anything even once that your man might enjoy. Just stick to the missionary position and all will be fine.
No wonder you're lonely.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> But I'd like to know exactly what guys think having their wife act like a porn star means... what you do you want her to do?


Fake it


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> But I'd like to know exactly what guys think having their wife act like a porn star means... what you do you want her to do?





SockPuppet said:


> Fake it


You seem to have completely missed my point. 

My mom used to have a saying.. "A woman should be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the parlor and ***** in the bedroom."

Believe me I get it.. I’m often wilder than the guys I’ve been with. 

But the fact is that that one man thinks ‘acting like a porn star’ means could be very different from what another man thinks it means. So I asked the question to find out what men have going through their minds when they say that they want their wives to act like a porn star.

One thing is that even a very sexually wild woman might not want to do certain things. Some do not like to swallow. If they don’t then their husbands need to move on from that fantasy.

My think is that I will never, ever, allow anyone to tie me up. Sorry, there is not one person I have ever known who I would allow to do that. It’s terrifying to me. So my husband has to let that one go. Now he likes me to tie him up and I have fun with it. But he, nor anyone else, will ever tie me up. I have no idea why I’m like this. I just am. 

So I’d like to know what all these guys are talking about when they say their wives are not doing whatever it is they think being a porn star is all about.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I wouldn't even allow my husband to tie me up or handcuff me. 

I am one of those wild women too, but it doesn't mean I like EVERYTHING.


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## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

OhGeesh;194373
The other night she was crying saying how she would hate to lose me because our sex life wasn't all "I" wanted it to be. That she felt pressured because she thought I wanted her to be a "Sex freak wild and crazy" all the time. How selfish of a man would I be to go there or do that? Marriage is about bending not breaking said:


> :iagree::iagree:Great post, your wife does something a little uncomfortable to her psyche to make you happy. And you reward her for her efforts. That is awesome


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

my wife made a comment to me that maybe if she had a 9-5 desk job like me where she wasn't on her feet all day it would be easier for her to be my sex slave.. and I responded that actually, I'd rather be _her_ sex slave!

I don't wan't a 'porn star wife,' per se, but definitely would like her to have more of an appetite than she does.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

I don't understand why a man would want a porn star in the bedroom. A totally unrealistic manufactured sex life, with no love and connection, often painful for the woman and degrading. What kind of decent loving intelligent man ants that?

Mutually adventurous sex, YES, lots of sex and connection YES, A porn star NO.


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## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

Syrum said:


> I don't understand why a man would want a porn star in the bedroom. A totally unrealistic manufactured sex life, with no love and connection, often painful for the woman and degrading. What kind of decent loving intelligent man ants that?
> 
> Mutually adventurous sex, YES, lots of sex and connection YES, A porn star NO.


Be a pornstar? It means:
* Be enthusiastic or at least act like you want to be doing it. 
* Please your man.
* Don't just lay there, take some ititiative. 

Getting degraded and hurt, not a requirement. 

Quality men do not hurt their women.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I Know said:


> Be a pornstar? It means:
> * Be enthusiastic or at least act like you want to be doing it.
> * Please your man.
> * Don't just lay there, take some ititiative.
> ...


Why would a man, who has a wife who is all of that, cheat on his wife?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

I Know said:


> Be a pornstar? It means:
> * Be enthusiastic or at least act like you want to be doing it.
> * Please your man.
> * Don't just lay there, take some ititiative.
> ...


syrum is all of that and more.
acting like a porn star? 
not


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## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Why would a man, who has a wife who is all of that, cheat on his wife?


LOL. I have that and I would never cheat. Good sex is 90% attitude and effort, 10% (at most) technique.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I Know said:


> LOL. I have that and I would never cheat. Good sex is 90% attitude and effort, 10% (at most) technique.


Well there are some men who have that and cheat anyway. I know this from my own experience.

I constantly read on these and other forums about men who have wives who don't want sex, who don't seem to enjoy it, etc. Yet I'm not convinced that having a wild sex life at home necessarily keeps a man from cheating.


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## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Well there are some men who have that and cheat anyway. I know this from my own experience.
> 
> I constantly read on these and other forums about men who have wives who don't want sex, who don't seem to enjoy it, etc. Yet I'm not convinced that having a wild sex life at home necessarily keeps a man from cheating.


I agree Ele, doesn't keep it from happening. Some men are going to cheat no matter how great the wife is. But most men would find it difficult to cheat on the wife that provides enthusiastic sex. 

People need to work to put the odds of successful marriage higher. Good sex is a major way to improve and maintain a marriage. If I'm not providing a good bedroom experience for my wife, it doesn't mean she will cheat. But it does make the odds of it happening much higher. I consider it my job (responssibility) to make living with me better than any other alternative she might have. 

See the thing is. Every day my wife has a choice to stay married to me or not. I have the same choice. Once I start making her married experience less attractive than other options (divorce, affair) I am hiking the odds that we get divorced. I do not have to surrender myself and do everything she wants. She tests me sometimes w/ trivial demands. We banter about those. It's fun. If my wife provides a great bedroom experience for me, i will be MUCH less likely to do something stupid, like cheating.

EVeryone has options. We married people need to make the living conditions inside the marriage better that when our spoused could get outside the marriage. It's pretty simple on paper!!


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I Know said:


> Be a pornstar? It means:
> * Be enthusiastic or at least act like you want to be doing it.
> * Please your man.
> * Don't just lay there, take some ititiative.
> ...


I lose myself in the moment and the way I am is just that, it is not an act. If I had to act I would not be able to relax and it would be "an acting job" not a shared moment of getting lost in each other. So do I need to put on an act to heighten my husbands enjoyment because my natural expressions are not exciting enough for him? 

Gee I would shut down totally if my husband presented me with that double whammy. Don't get lost in the moment because what you do in those moments turn me off. Don't relax so much that you lose your place in the script and sorry if you cant have an orgasm when you are self-conscious but I'm stoked babeee. 

This porn star stuff is so dysfunctional. Why would you want your partner to fake it to make you feel good? Maybe I am missing something here. Why would she need to do that? 

Do these questions ever come into your mind to explore when your partner seems bored. WHY and what does she need from me. What she can do for you seems to miss the whole point. 

She does not feel what she should be feeling. Surely you should not to tell her to pretend anyway. She may feel that she is a live stand-in for internet porn. But that is not true is it?


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## ouixch (Jan 4, 2012)

In lieu of "porn star" find out what your husband likes and do that


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## I Know (Dec 14, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> I lose myself in the moment and the way I am is just that, it is not an act. If I had to act I would not be able to relax and it would be "an acting job" not a shared moment of getting lost in each other. So do I need to put on an act to heighten my husbands enjoyment because my natural expressions are not exciting enough for him?
> 
> Gee I would shut down totally if my husband presented me with that double whammy. Don't get lost in the moment because what you do in those moments turn me off. Don't relax so much that you lose your place in the script and sorry if you cant have an orgasm when you are self-conscious but I'm stoked babeee.
> 
> ...


I guess I am just lucky Catherine. My wife doesn't have to pretend to be enthusiastic. She likes sex w/ me. No manufactured emotions needed. 

Boring sex is likely a symptom of other bigger relationship issues.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

My wife is very much the porn star and she is an A lister baby! Married 35 years and wow what a woman!


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