# 2 weeks of separation please offer advice !



## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

Hello All,

it has been 2 weeks since my wife of 15 years asked me to move out of our house. She said she needed space and couldn't get it while we were together. I cant seem to get the thought of her and my girls out of my mind. I dream of her at night when i do sleep and when I cant sleep I lie and think of her. I have had limited contact with her over these 2 weeks hoping that maybe she would miss me and at her request. Well it seems like each time we do speak or see each other I can see the bitterness on her face and hear it in her voice. How can i go on feeling such a loss of my family and all the dreams that we had shared knowing that my life will never be the same. 

please advise how i can get through the day without breaking down. My emotions are at such a high level these days I can cry at the drop of a hat... what do you all do to help...?

thanks !!


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

well i just received an email from her telling me to move on... said that no matter what i did to change her feelings for me would never change. She said that she didnt want a relationship with me or anyone else and to worry about my girls and leave her alone ... Dang that was the hardest email I have ever read... tore my heart out but at least now i know where i stand with her........ on the outside.. how could she throw away 15 years just like that.........


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> That's really weird out of the blue. I'm really sorry. How are the girls reacting to all this?


Well one is mine and one is hers the oldest is hers and she doesnt seem to be effected much but my younger daughter is crushed she misses me and wants us to get back together.

yes it took me by surprise when she said she no longer loved me and wanted me to move out. it has broken my heart seeing all my dreams die with my marriage. I want to hold onto some hope but after reading her email it seems pointless...


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## voivod (Aug 7, 2008)

skinman said:


> Hello All,
> 
> it has been 2 weeks since my wife of 15 years asked me to move out of our house. She said she needed space and couldn't get it while we were together. I cant seem to get the thought of her and my girls out of my mind. I dream of her at night when i do sleep and when I cant sleep I lie and think of her. I have had limited contact with her over these 2 weeks hoping that maybe she would miss me and at her request. Well it seems like each time we do speak or see each other I can see the bitterness on her face and hear it in her voice. How can i go on feeling such a loss of my family and all the dreams that we had shared knowing that my life will never be the same.
> 
> ...




sounds like from your other post that email is an acceptable method of communication for her...so... put together an email that does this:

tell her you understand her decision. tell her you don't know how she made it this far with you, but she deserves a medal for doing so...

now...this part is important...write her this and ask her: if you had a magic wand, and could wave it, wake up tomorrow and all of yopur problems with me would disappear, how would i be? 

it doesn't matter what her response is to this one. that is your roadmap to recovering your marriage. it's best if you could do this face to face, but email works too.

be ready to face the fire, because her reasons for splitting up are real to her, even if they are rubbish to you.

hang in there, good luck and say a prayer.


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## storyboardlife (Oct 31, 2008)

I don't think that I caught why she wanted a separation and now a divorce. Something this hugh just doesn't come out of the blue. What has been going on that she needs her "space?" It also sounded like this may have been a second or so marriage for the both of you based on having step children. Is this correct. 

As the dad you are going to have to do everything you can to stay within the lives of your daughters even if the relationship doesn't work out. There are too many cases where the daughters suffer the consequences of not having a pop and his positive influence on their lives.


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## skinman (Nov 5, 2008)

storyboardlife said:


> I don't think that I caught why she wanted a separation and now a divorce. Something this hugh just doesn't come out of the blue. What has been going on that she needs her "space?" It also sounded like this may have been a second or so marriage for the both of you based on having step children. Is this correct.
> 
> As the dad you are going to have to do everything you can to stay within the lives of your daughters even if the relationship doesn't work out. There are too many cases where the daughters suffer the consequences of not having a pop and his positive influence on their lives.


second marriage for both of us.. it was out of the blue she told me over a month ago that she didnt love me anymore but didnt want to leave or me leave that maybe we could fall in love again.. well after a month of treading water and trying to hard se lost it and asked me to leave... just today she sent an email telling me to move on that i would never change and even if i did her feeling never would.. 

i plan on being a big part of my girls life.. its hard now dealing will all my emotions as to why my wife doesnt love me after 15 years together...... one way or the other I will not leave them...

thanks for the response !


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