# Should I record my control freak wife?



## Mr.PotentialFulfilled (Jan 5, 2010)

Should I make a recording of my control freak wife? She always blames me for everything. She is 100% perfect. She is incapable of reflecting on what she might do wrong. She does not hear the tone in her voice with other people or with our daughter when she helps her with homework. My wife is an insane perfectionist when it comes to school work. I am all for doing great in school. But she expects nothing less than 100%. She will lie to herself and others about this but it's true! My poor daughter feels a little sick feeling in her stomach if she does not get a 100% Yet my nauseatingly sacrin sweet wife who is like a bull dog when she lets her guard down will lie to your face and say it's not true. And her authoritative tone with our daughter is getting to me! If I taped her I would be taping me. Hopefully I would try to talk in the same manner and hear what I am doing wrong. But we know that is not likely.

I WISH I COULD GET OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE!!! SHE'S A PAIN!!!!!!

One more thing. My wife is ALWAYS PUTTING DOWN HOW MY PARENTS RAISED ME! Her Parents DID NO WRONG and mine COULD NOT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!! And compares her good job with my lack of jobs and work.

I HATE MARRIAGE!


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## GoDucks (May 19, 2010)

Consider therapy. You need to figure out if this marriage is worth it to you. Also, if there is conflict between you guys - or this tension - that will be hurting your daughter on the inside. Especially if she has perfectionist tendencies. 

Best of luck. Marriage isn't for hating, though. It's supposed to be great!


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I am with GoDucks here. Taping her is going to cross a line, and you won't be able to go back. Consider that you do tape her and she starts taping EVERY conversation you two have and replaying it and pointing out your wrong doings. Is it gonna solve anything? No, nothing LOL. 

But if you go to therapy and explain to the therapist how she makes you FEEL with her tone and whatnot maybe it can be worked out and make progress. Your post honestly sounds like you are just looking for a reason to leave.

On a side note, have you considered that your wife might resent you for being out of work, or was she always like this??


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## Orion (Jul 17, 2010)

I am going to cosign with Dawn and GoDucks. I want to reiterate that it sounds like your wife might hold some resentment towards you for being out of work. And, it also seems that she does not respect you.

Do I think that you need to record her? No. Try therapy but also set some boundaries. Your wife has gotten far too comfortable with putting you and your daughter down. Take this for what's it's worth but being a man has nothing to do with being employed to the liking of your wife. One of the facets of being a man is getting and giving respect. You are not getting the respect of your wife. Also, part of being a man is protecting your family. You need to protect your daughter because she is (by your account) suffering some psychological torment. If this keeps up, she will probably only value herself by how she does is school. And I think that it's possible that she will develop into an insane perfectionist like your wife.

My hope is that counseling will open some doors. Just remember that there is more at stake than your well-being. You have your daughter to think about as well. And, if this marriage isn't working, then leave and find some happiness elsewhere. Your daughter will need to see some happiness coming from somewhere because right now, I can't image that she sees very much happiness coming from you or your wife. Good luck.



ashamedbuthonest said:


> Should I make a recording of my control freak wife? She always blames me for everything. She is 100% perfect. She is incapable of reflecting on what she might do wrong. She does not hear the tone in her voice with other people or with our daughter when she helps her with homework. My wife is an insane perfectionist when it comes to school work. I am all for doing great in school. But she expects nothing less than 100%. She will lie to herself and others about this but it's true! My poor daughter feels a little sick feeling in her stomach if she does not get a 100% Yet my nauseatingly sacrin sweet wife who is like a bull dog when she lets her guard down will lie to your face and say it's not true. And her authoritative tone with our daughter is getting to me! If I taped her I would be taping me. Hopefully I would try to talk in the same manner and hear what I am doing wrong. But we know that is not likely.
> 
> I WISH I COULD GET OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE!!! SHE'S A PAIN!!!!!!
> 
> ...


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I guess I'm in the minority here.

Years ago I was recording my kids with a camcorder. they were just fooling around, kids being kids, and were getting a little out of hand but nothing drastic. I spoke to them to get them to calm down and was later reviewing the tape and was shocked by the tone of my voice. It really disturbed me that was ME talking to MY KIDS that way.

If the situation is as bad as you describe it, how much worse could it be if you let your wife listen to the tape?


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