# Worried About the Potential Consequences



## j.b.17 (Jan 5, 2012)

I have been married to my wife for over two years now, we dated before then on and off for a few years. We got married on a whim, but we were definetly in Love. However as time has gone by i find myself very unhappy. We finally had it out and I told her i wanted a divorce because i wasnt happy anymore

Currently we are living together pending a move across country and a "seperation" to see if things can be resolved. I am having a hard time having faith that it will make things better, because you see we have an 8 month old son and i dont want her to resent me or hate me and that drive her to the point where she uses him against me.

I want to try and make it work because i do love her, very much and i love the family we started together...but i just dont ever see myself being happy with her...it seems so surreal, i dont understand how i can love her yet not be happy with her at the same time. it just makes no sense.

I feel like a terrible person and i know that ive broken her heart, but what do i do. Do i stay with her for the sake of her happiness and the sake of not splitting our family up...or do i let go of this and find a way for me to be happy again...i want my son to have a family, but i dont think his parents being split would change how we felt about him and as long as he knows he is loved shouldnt that be enough?

Im so lost right now and have no idea where to go from here.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Why are you not happy with her?

What does she do to make you unhappy?

What could she do to make you happy?


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## j.b.17 (Jan 5, 2012)

thats the thing i just really dont know what changed, any thing thats ever come up as far as fights or what not have always been little peddy things, and it just seems like its all built up on top of me and i cant get out from under it

i have found myself truly resenting the idea of spending time with her, i pretty much fake happiness, when all i can think about is how i wish my life was different, i know that sound cruel...but honestly for the life of me i dont know what to do, i feel like this seperation is just a stall and i dont see how it could possibly mak things better and i know she wants me to really try and figure out if we could reslove this but i just dont see how we could.

in short to answer your question:

Im not really sure where my unhsppiness came from
and i dont see how it coud ever change, i have lost all faith in this relationship


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

If you cant pin-point the variables that make you unhappy with your wife, perhaps this inst the issue.

When wifey is away are you happy? Maybe a few of these "little peddy fights" hold more meaning than you are aware?

Im just wondering if maybe your just unhappy in general, and you focus this energy on your wife, and she gets stuck with the blame. I mean, you say you lvoe her and all.....


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Each person's happiness depends on themselves. Husbands do not make wives happy or vice versa. You two don't even fight. Your happiness is your responsiblity not anyone elses.

You needto find a good counselor for yourself before you screw up and actually make your whole family much worse than unhappy.


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## joshbjoshb (Jul 11, 2011)

Yeah, as people mentioned here - are you happy otherwise? Or are you just a big depressed now and blame your wife for that?


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