# I want a divorce...



## onelonelymom (Feb 3, 2010)

*I want a divorce, I can not do this anymore. I do not think I have ever loved my husband, my grandparents forced us to get married (long story) and I have never loved him, never been in love with him. I love him, I love everyone, but I am not in love with him. 
I am tired of the fighting and arguing. I am tired of being put down all the time for everything I do. I am tired of him putting my family down, that is my family. I do not put his family down, so I don't think it's right for him to put my family down. I am tired of him sleeping all day long. I am tired of his porn addiction. I am tired of feeling unloved. I am just tired.
I don't love him. I can not even stand to look at him anymore, I don't want to look at him anymore. I want out. 
I don't know how to tell him. I am not the type of person to express my feelings, but I know I need to. Our daugther (3 yrs old) is feeling the stress and tension between me and my husband and I don't like her feeling that, I know what that feels like. I also know her mommy being stressed all the time is not good. 
I have thought about writing a letter, but not sure when I would give it to him. I am writer and writing is my strong point, confronting someone face to face is not my strong point, it is my down fall. 
I have never been a strong person, up until recently I finally started standing up for myself. I am tired of being a coward. My husband is very controlling and I would just take it, but not anymore and he is not liking that at all. 
I can't take it anymore! I know this is just a bunch of ramblings and for that I am sorry. Any advice even though I did not give you much to go on. Thank you! *


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## bestplayer (Jan 23, 2010)

onelonelymom said:


> *I want a divorce, I can not do this anymore. I do not think I have ever loved my husband, my grandparents forced us to get married (long story) and I have never loved him, never been in love with him. I love him, I love everyone, but I am not in love with him.
> I am tired of the fighting and arguing. I am tired of being put down all the time for everything I do. I am tired of him putting my family down, that is my family. I do not put his family down, so I don't think it's right for him to put my family down. I am tired of him sleeping all day long. I am tired of his porn addiction. I am tired of feeling unloved. I am just tired.
> I don't love him. I can not even stand to look at him anymore, I don't want to look at him anymore. I want out.
> I don't know how to tell him. I am not the type of person to express my feelings, but I know I need to. Our daugther (3 yrs old) is feeling the stress and tension between me and my husband and I don't like her feeling that, I know what that feels like. I also know her mommy being stressed all the time is not good.
> ...


As u said u have never loved him , I think there is no need for further explaination , becasue withoout love it will never work .

for once u need to be bold enough to calmly explain ur situation . He needs to understand that It is not healthy for u , him , or ur child if u both continue to be together without love in a stressful atmosphere . Both of u deserve to be with someone who u r in love with & not with someone u can't stand to look at him . 
Ur daughter willl be happier when u r happy & satisfiied even if it is not with ur husband .

Best of luck


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## hurtbutrealistic (Mar 28, 2010)

For almost 25 years now I have been with a controlling husband too. He is not bad all the time but when it comes to some situations he gets overly upset because he cannot have it his way right then. (I blame his mother). We are really going through some bad times and I feel like leaving now. We have a 21 daughter (who previously sent us both to jail over a year ago because of a fight), with her 10 month daughter (whom we both love) living with us and he is the only one with a job. The daughter's boyfriend does supply money for the baby and the two of them are trying to get a place fast here. Our finances are bad-I suppose that really is my fault-I trusted some assisine company in Florida to help us with a modification of our mortgages (only to learn that I coud have done it all myself without paying them $1500 & not paying either mortgage for several months)! However, my husband signed that agreement too, but now he claims if he loses his security clearance, we are selling the house, the daughter must leave and leave now, and oh I am supposed to leave too.. the bils are all my fault I am on disability (workmens comp)and have not been relased to work yet (it has been 2 1/2 years now). I understand his stress but he seems to be really offended by the fact that he is providing for all of us-and he rubs it in my face every other day/he plays Star Trek computer online game every day-it all he does anymore! I have tried talking to him explaining that the lack of time and intimacy is ruining our marriage, but I do not think he cares and I am at the point where I want to be separated. I have an Ebay business that is going pretty well too, but I guess I would have to give it up or start over somewhere else. I am being realistic-but I am very hurt and I am not having sex with him-


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