# physical and emotional deprivation in marriage



## Cestmoi (Jan 2, 2012)

What are the symptoms/effects of physical and emotional deprivation of a husband and how can this effect his relationship with his daugter by her having to replace some of that physical and emotional needs. How can this type of deprivation be picked up in his behaviour/relationship with his daughter? Any suggestions of books to read?
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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

A man's daughter should NEVER replace the kinds of physical and emotional needs a wife should be providing. PERIOD. 

There is such a thing as emotional incest, and of course physical incest. The first is emotionally traumatic for the child in 99.9% of cases, and the second is criminal regardless of how much trauma takes place.


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## Cestmoi (Jan 2, 2012)

I am not talking about behavior that we all know is incest, I am wondering about an emotional connection more than a standard father daughter bond and a somewhat different type of physical touch. Like sometimes you will see a dad walking hand in hand with his daughter and the mom next to them, not holding hands with the dad. I wonder about the body languange which might be different than the usual body language between a 'normal father-daughter' relationship.
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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

My opinion is that walking hand-in-hand and being close is something that has nothing to do with the wife's attitude toward him. If it *is* a factor, then the man is creeping toward incestuous attitudes that could be harmful. 

There is no such thing as a "standard" father-daughter relationship. My husband and his daughter are very close, for instance, but there is a very clear distinction in our home. There is never confusion about what's "ok" or "not ok." He hugs her and they have important talks, but he doesn't do anything differently than he would if he was unhappy, single, or ... whatever. 

Men I have known who molested their children often take great pride in what they perceive to be "closeness." I've seen these guys talk about how their kid talks to them about sexual matters, for instance, but upon further investigation, it's typical that the girl felt interrogated and uncomfortable from the moment he attempted to "get close" in this way. 

This question is very disturbing and if you're asking this about a situation you are in, I hope you'll seek a healthier outlet for getting attention and positive regard.


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