# Truth in dating



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
Just curious. For those of you dating, are you honest in your online profiles. In general were the people you have dated honest?

By honest, I don't mean telling absolutely everything, but do you try to give an accurate impression of yourself, or do you tend to exaggerate your positive features?


I'm wondering how it compare to job resumes - where I am currently slogging through a large number of resumes where people have wildly exaggerated their skills and experience.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I think it is safe to say anyone who is on an online dating site who is already involved with someone is probably lying  This doesn't apply to me, but I do know a few people who have gotten busted doing this (even if the intention wasn't to actually go out on a date). Would be curious as well to know how common it is for someone to use an online dating site as a means of cheating or circumventing their SO.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I was divorced in 2010, and reconciled in 2014, now splitting up again (I'm moving out, bought a house, waiting for settlement). I'm not dating now, but I did do online dating in between there.

I'm a woman. I was very truthful in my profile. I'm just a very real person and have no reason to fake anything. I never exaggerated anything. I can't remember going on any dates with any men who majorly lied, either. The biggest lies men tell are about their height (if they're short) and about their age, but every time someone lied about their age on their profile, they told me about it before a date, in our communications.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

P.S. I would never lie on a resume!!! I'm too Type A/rule follower .


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## zeldaminor (Apr 27, 2015)

:iagree:

I'm pretty honest, although I'm not going to tell every negative thing--for example, I'm not going to tell you how much I owe in student loans before we even meet  I try to give as accurate of an impression as possible so as not to waste either party's time.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

As a Short man I have trouble with the idea of lying about my height. I mean it's kind of hard to maintain that much of an illusion. There are plenty of women in my height range who insist on dating in the over 6 range. I assume they are too shallow for me.


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## SARAHMCD (Jul 2, 2014)

The only lie I've ever told in online dating was to shave a year or two off my age - I don't know why I even bothered doing that. But anything else? Nope. I was always hoping to meet up with them, so what would be the point of lying? 
I'm sure people exaggerate about their hobbies - like I list one of mine as kayaking - well, I've been a total of 4 times in 3 years. So is that really a hobby? You kind of take those with a grain of salt. 
I've never met any men that lied - other than perhaps hiding the fact that they are balding in their photos. Height is kind of funny - I know a lot of shorter men are a bit paranoid about it -and perhaps they have reason. But I'm 5'3" so I don't even look at guys over 6 feet. 5'6" would be fine for me! 
Its all about finding the right match.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

SARAHMCD said:


> The only lie I've ever told in online dating was to shave a year or two off my age - I don't know why I even bothered doing that. But anything else? Nope. I was always hoping to meet up with them, so what would be the point of lying?
> I'm sure people exaggerate about their hobbies - like I list one of mine as kayaking - well, I've been a total of 4 times in 3 years. So is that really a hobby? You kind of take those with a grain of salt.
> I've never met any men that lied - other than perhaps hiding the fact that they are balding in their photos. Height is kind of funny - I know a lot of shorter men are a bit paranoid about it -and perhaps they have reason. But I'm 5'3" so I don't even look at guys over 6 feet. 5'6" would be fine for me!
> Its all about finding the right match.


I think you could be more honest about the kayak thing (since I know some serious kayakers) but saying you're adventurous and willing to try just about anything...for example, you've discovered you really like kayaking and would love to do more of it. That also opens the door to a man wanting to be your teacher .


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Mr. Nail said:


> As a Short man I have trouble with the idea of lying about my height. I mean it's kind of hard to maintain that much of an illusion. There are plenty of women in my height range who insist on dating in the over 6 range. I assume they are too shallow for me.


I'll never figure that one out. But ... in online dating, people want what they want.

5 foot, five inch women who wanted their partner to be over 6 feet.

Male height seems to be the physical corollary of female breast size in terms of some people's attraction radar.

As for truth in dating; it's a mixed bag. Most people's profile isn't robust enough to offer any real truths, unless we're talking about a guy posting a picture of him with a full head of hair and a 32" waist, while in reality he is bald and obese, or a woman claiming she is athletic and toned because she does Pilates, but in terms of appearance is obviously overweight.

That stuff happens. 

Only harm they are doing is to themselves.

I always stress, an online profile must have recent photos, including a full body shot. That way you have truth in advertising.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm very honest in my online dating profiles. I'm looking for someone to have a relationship with, so I see little point in being dishonest with prospective partners. I always include both close up pictures of my face and full-length pictures that show my figure (without being sleazy). A friend took most of my profile pics. I told her my one rule was "no false advertising" so they show me in regular clothes, my usual makeup and hair, and are un-retouched. I also don't lie about my height or age, and am upfront if men inquire about my dress size (yes, I've been asked that) or my income (I give a range). 

For the most part, the men I met were basically honest. Sometimes more than they probably should have been. There's no real need to be so honest as to list major faults right in the profile, but I've seen guys do it. However, the vast majority of men I met in person had lied about their height. I'm just a hair under 5'8". I'm going to notice when guys say 6' but are actually 5'9" or 5'10". A number were also somewhat....optimistic....about their current fitness level. On the whole, though, I never got to the point of meeting anyone who was a complete and obvious liar about any major points of their profile.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Mr. Nail said:


> As a Short man I have trouble with the idea of lying about my height. I mean it's kind of hard to maintain that much of an illusion. There are plenty of women in my height range who insist on dating in the over 6 range. I assume they are too shallow for me.


You assume too much. Just because someone has a preference does make them shallow. I do not date blondes, is that shallow? No, just a preference.

FWIW I am 5'3" and married a man that is 5'5", height was not an issue. Now with a man that is 6'3" does that make me shallow?

Anyway to the OP. I never lied while OLD, honesty is a good thing. The biggest lie I found among the men is about their age, those were the ones that were good for casual sex only, never would have formed a serious relationship with a man that lied about his age, or anything else major for that matter.

I met my partner OLD and his profile was not only witty, interesting and intelligently written, it was also truthful. A good sign of who he is a man.


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## another shot (Apr 14, 2015)

I met my wife online 16 years ago before it was so well established as it is now. 

She was mostly honest but there were a few things in there that were crap.

For example, "Walks in the rain with no real destination in mind" 

Yea bull$hit. Not happening. I get it but wtf?

She also referred to herself as petite, which I think was a stretch to say the least. She is not unfit or large but she isn't petite either. 

She was what she called "fluffy" later which is how I like my womenz. 

So much so that I married her when I was 31 within months after having numerous long term relationships. 

I am so in love with my wife that I absolutely don't care that she stretched it a tad to attract my attention. 

It's was hardly a capital crime and I feel lucky in every way for meeting the love of my life. 

It's human vanity stuff that is excusable up to a point to address insecurities. 

No biggie


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

another shot said:


> I met my wife online 16 years ago before it was so well established as it is now.
> 
> She was mostly honest but there were a few things in there that were crap.
> 
> ...


Well, in her defense, "petite" sizes are, I think 5'3" or 5'4" or under, regardless of weight. (Correct me if I'm wrong....I'm taller than that.) So maybe she IS "petite."


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

SecondTime'Round said:


> Well, in her defense, "petite" sizes are, I think 5'3" or 5'4" or under, regardless of weight. (Correct me if I'm wrong....I'm taller than that.) So maybe she IS "petite."


Yep. "Petite" is fashion-speak for "short". Women who are short may wear petite sizes no matter their weight or body type.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Well I guess I'm shallow too. I met my hubby online, and being a 6ft tall woman, it was in my profile that my potential mate be 6ft or over.

I don't feel feminine if I can pat a man on the head, lol.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

frusdil said:


> I don't feel feminine if I can pat a man on the head, lol.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I personally don't but know several who are very comfortable lying online. I never understand why..the truth always comes out eventually unless you are just looking for short term hookups

I was told once, and seem to have found some truth to it, along gender lines that men lie about thier height and income and women lie about thier age and weight. That has been the experience I have had and others I know who date. This again makes no sense to me because once you meet in RL height and weight can't be hidden anymore and income and age will eventually come out.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

As to my shallow comment:
I don't find short women dating a tall man to be shallow.
I do find women who will only date tall men shallow. Less for women who are in that height range. 
The rough equivalent is a man refusing to date anyone with less than a D cup.
My assumption of their shallowness hurts no one as they don't want to date me anyway. 
MN


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Wolf1974 said:


> I was told once, and seem to have found some truth to it, along gender lines that men lie about thier height and income and women lie about thier age and weight.


I've heard this too, and agree it seems to be true. I don't understand it either - what do these people think is going to happen when they meet these people? Hellooooooo you can't airbrush 5 years or 20kg off your face/body in real life lol.

If that had happened to me, I would have been ticked that they lied, not about what they look like etc.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> Just curious. For those of you dating, are you honest in your online profiles. In general were the people you have dated honest?


My SO was completely honest in her ******* profile. Blunt to the point that she had trouble finding dates (strange, yes, for a 34 year old slender female, but hey, their loss was my gain! ), because she would scare men off... she can be... intimidating... with her strength of conviction. 

I, on the other hand, had a completely fabricated profile. Not a single ounce of truth. I was a troll, and she fed me


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Mr. Nail said:


> As to my shallow comment:
> I don't find short women dating a tall man to be shallow.
> I do find women who will only date tall men shallow. Less for women who are in that height range.
> The rough equivalent is a man refusing to date anyone with less than a D cup.
> ...


I always hated the whole "Must be over X Height" when I tried online dating. It just seems soooo shallow and restrictive. IMHO, it's worse then people who are picky about a weight, chest size, physical fitness, etc. Why? because you can always change you weight and fitness, you can even pay for plastic surgery to increase breast size, but the one thing you can't really change is your height.

But of course, if the women is tall, than I can see her wanting a taller man, or if any woman prefers tall men, again, it's understandable. But if a woman is 5'6" or less and absolutely won't give any guy a chance unless he's at least 6'2", I think it's a bit too...shallow, closeminded, etc...


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Holland said:


> The biggest lie I found among the men is about their age, those were the ones that were good for casual sex only, never would have formed a serious relationship with a man that lied about his age, or anything else major for that matter.


Is lying about your age major? Does it matter by how much....? Is two years OK but five not etc? I've found it pretty common for women to lie about their age and I agree...only good for casual sex 

The height thing is interesting. I've met a few women who have under reported their height. (also only good for casual sex...:rofl


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Interestingly, a number of the men I met were clearly surprised that I was honest about my age. I actually showed one guy my ID. He told me I could get away with shaving several years off in my profile if I wanted to. He phrased it like he was giving me a helpful hint for future dating....... 

I couldn't decide if he just thought it would make him feel better to think I was 33 (and thus he was out with a much younger woman), or if he was just so used to mid-40s women claiming to be late-30s that he honestly imagined a "38-year-old" should look older than I do.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

frusdil said:


> Well I guess I'm shallow too. I met my hubby online, and being a 6ft tall woman, it was in my profile that my potential mate be 6ft or over.
> 
> *I don't feel feminine if I can pat a man on the head, lol*.


:rofl:

I'm 5ft 6" and my DH is 6ft 5".....I prefer tall men but have dated shorter men too. Throw me in the shallow section too, I guess. ;-)


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Too much of the word shallow used. We all have preferences. I don't blame a woman for being attracted to a taller man just like I prefer a fit woman. Even if you get down to things seemingly really shallow like dating only men who make over 6 figures or a guy only dating women who have D cup and up natural breasts. We all have different things we like and all bring different things to the table. The only thing with expectations is to be honest upfront about them. So a woman I dated wanted to be with a guy who made more money than I did. Cool thanks for telling me upfront and I hope you find him. I was never upset about it...contrary I was glad she was honest upfront and didn't waste my time. She had her preference I couldn't live up to it. I never thought of her as shallow she was just being honest.

One of the hardest things it seem to accept in dating is that you are not ever going to be everyone's cup of tea. It's a bit of slap in the face early on..as time goes you just stop caring or having expectations about how things are going to go.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Shoto1984 said:


> *Is lying about your age major?* Does it matter by how much....? Is two years OK but five not etc? I've found it pretty common for women to lie about their age and I agree...only good for casual sex
> 
> The height thing is interesting. I've met a few women who have under reported their height. (also only good for casual sex...:rofl


It show me a person who can and does knowingly lie about small insignificant things. Major red flag. Not worth my time.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

By far, most of the women I met were honest. A few were blatantly dishonest, and of course I had nothing more to do with them.

I was looking for women who eventually wanted a lasting relationship. As such, I think that group is more honest, because they know lies are usually deal breakers, and will be found out eventually.

IMO, those looking for casual dating or something more along the lines of a hookup are more likely to lie or shade the truth to improve the response rate, knowing that the only thing that matters is attracting someone for the short term. Both parties in that case may just choose to support the illusion in furtherance of the goal - unless the misrepresentation is too large to ignore.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

Wolf1974 said:


> Too much of the word shallow used.


"Shallow" is a term used by unattractive people to bolster their self-esteem by projecting their inadequacies upon others.

That is, if a man is 5'5", and a woman states she will only date men who are 5'9" and over, a man is likely to claim she is "shallow", rather than accepting the fact that he does not meet her standard for attractiveness.

Everyone has preferences. Some preferences are non-negotiable. I may prefer redheads but will happily date blondes and brunettes. I may refuse to date women with tats who smoke.

Is a man shallow if he refuses to date women who are addicted to drugs? 

Or, is he shallow if he refuses to date women whose weight exceeds his ability to bench-press? 


Some may claim the first example he is not, but in the second he is. Such claims are silly. Both examples demonstrate a preference.

One preference is merely politically incorrect in today's world of hyper-feminism.


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

frusdil said:


> Well I guess I'm shallow too.
> I don't feel feminine if I can pat a man on the head, lol.


That goes for shorter women too! lolo

~sammy


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

yes, I don't think it's shallow for a woman to like tall men.
It's just a preference after all.

There are plenty of women (not most, but plenty) who like/date guys their own height or even smaller. For shorter guys, find and date them.

An example of a beauty that likes shorter men, nichole kidman. She's taller then tom cruise and keith urban.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I don't lie. And I have several full body shots as well as close facial photos. I don't get a lot of response like I did 10 years ago even though I haven't changed that much. I am sure that putting my weight as "average" knowing the average is a size 14 in the US might be off-putting. But I'd rather be truthful than show up and have a guy ditch as quickly as possible because of misrepresentation.

Their loss - I'm pretty great and not a slob who doesn't care about my body, appearance or health.

And I prefer a guy a few inches taller which means 5'10" and I put that because I'd accept less but every single guy I have gone out with who listed his height less than 6' has lied about his height. I know exactly how tall I am (5' 6.75") and I always wear flats when meeting someone for the first time. Guys who are 5'9 invariably say they are 5'10. Most guys who are bald have photos with hats and/or a few older ones where they have more hair. Personally baldness doesn't matter to me one way or the other so if a woman hates baldness, shouldn't he just let it shine?


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## HHB (Nov 21, 2014)

I cut 10 years off my chronological age. It worked.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

HHB said:


> I cut 10 years off my chronological age. It worked.


How do you keep that lie going, though?

I'm pretty sure just the pictures of me I have on the walls in my house would give away the decade I graduated from high school. And there's no way my family or close friends would fail to, at some point, mention my actual age to an important person in my life. Heck, I'd have trouble telling funny stories from my youth if I had to edit them to remove decade-specific references..... 

:scratchhead:


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

The 1980's Pony sweats I wear give away my age.

Amazing after 35 years I can still fit in them. Good thing I bought the XXXL pair thinking they'd shrink


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

So for all the ladies who have a preference for men who are taller than they are, why do you think that is. What does a man's height represent in the dynamic between you? I'm wondering if there's more here than the obvious.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I don't lie. And I have several full body shots as well as close facial photos. I don't get a lot of response like I did 10 years ago even though I haven't changed that much. I am sure that putting my weight as "average" knowing the average is a size 14 in the US might be off-putting. But I'd rather be truthful than show up and have a guy ditch as quickly as possible because of misrepresentation.
> 
> Their loss - I'm pretty great and not a slob who doesn't care about my body, appearance or health.
> 
> And I prefer a guy a few inches taller which means 5'10" and I put that because I'd accept less but *every single guy I have gone out with who listed his height less than 6' has lied about his height. * I know exactly how tall I am (5' 6.75") and I always wear flats when meeting someone for the first time. Guys who are 5'9 invariably say they are 5'10. Most guys who are bald have photos with hats and/or a few older ones where they have more hair. Personally baldness doesn't matter to me one way or the other so if a woman hates baldness, shouldn't he just let it shine?


Yup. The only profiles you can rely to be truthful are those who list their height over six feet tall. Anything under that, every single one of them lied by at least two inches.

About why women prefer men to be taller than them? For me, just makes me feel safer. I'm 5'5" and would say the ideal for me would be someone who is 5'10" or taller. But, I've dated men who were around 5'8" and it didn't bother me.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

samyeagar said:


> It show me a person who can and does knowingly lie about small insignificant things. Major red flag. Not worth my time.


OK, I met a woman online and met her in person. Her profile said she was 44. When I met her I thought "wow, this is one of the youngest looking 44 yr old's I've ever seen." I would have guessed mid-late 30's and she had the spirit to match. We dated for awhile and it eventually came out that she was 53!!! I needed help lifting my jaw off the floor. Now if she puts 53 in her profile she going to get a few 50 yr olds but mostly 55-70 yr olds who don't match her physically or her spirit (and she's doesn't need a sugar daddy). The experience changed my thoughts on age and made me much more forgiving. Holding each other to this time measurement is less meaningful then other things.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Shoto1984 said:


> So for all the ladies who have a preference for men who are taller than they are, why do you think that is. What does a man's height represent in the dynamic between you? I'm wondering if there's more here than the obvious.


I have never met a woman who didn't want a taller guy. The reason I heard most often was when they wore heels they didn't want to appear taller then the guy they were with. 

What was really interesting was that it never seemed to matter what size they were they wanted taller. I saw a few profiles of women 6 ft tall or within an inch of and they all listed they wanted a guy 6'5 and up

So ,least for the women I have met, it's an appearance factor


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Shoto1984 said:


> So for all the ladies who have a preference for men who are taller than they are, why do you think that is. What does a man's height represent in the dynamic between you? I'm wondering if there's more here than the obvious.


It somehow makes the logistics of dancing, and other physical activities, seem easier. 

All the men in my family are quite tall (over 6'5"), so I grew up associating being tall with being manly. Honestly, it usually doesn't occur to me that a guy in the 6'0" to 6'3" range is even really "tall".

I'm tall, but I also like to feel feminine. That's harder to accomplish if I'm substantially taller than my date. 

If a man is my height (5'8") or a bit above that's just fine - as long as he's not going to freak when I wear heels. I won't tolerate a man who gets all weird about it or asks me to change to flats just so I won't be taller than he is. If he needs to be taller than his date, he needs to date shorter women. And, yes, plenty of men do seem to have a problem with their date appearing to be 3-4 inches taller than they are.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

So is there anything that you can legitimately lie about (or slant/downplay the truth)? I have never been on an online dating site so I have no idea what information is typical to fill in, and hopefully I never have to rely on dating again. Reason I ask, I was listening to the radio on the way to work and one guy mentioned he had a tough time finding the right woman b/c with his job he felt women were more driven by his financial situation (i.e. gold diggers). If I was in that situation I would not want to disclose or keep very vague my work/financial situation for that exact reason. Just curious what the expectations are as far as proving that info online as well as providing that info assuming you go on a date. Of course this is completely different than saying you are the CEO of GE when in fact you work the register at Kohls.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Not only am I slightly taller than average, but even at an optimum weight I'm not meant to be a twig. At 125 pounds I was still a US size 8 at my tiniest. My FRAME isn't lithe - German heritage and all. Add to that my over all sensibility and can-do approach and willingness to tackle moderate home and basic vehicle repair and I'm not dainty by any stretch of the imagination.

So it takes a bigger man to make me feel feminine and girly. I like the idea of a big, strong capable man. I like beards, broad shoulders and hairy chests; not that short men can't have those things but I like the overtly male type and that includes being taller, stronger, weigh more, etc. 

Yes, a short man might be able to do all of the same things from a protective standpoint, so it's a psychological/perception thing.

But I do know women who like a man who is the same height (they love the eye to eye thing) and some taller women who say "it all evens out when you're horizontal" - that that does remove some of the vertical options.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> So is there anything that you can legitimately lie about (or slant/downplay the truth)? I have never been on an online dating site so I have no idea what information is typical to fill in, and hopefully I never have to rely on dating again. Reason I ask, I was listening to the radio on the way to work and one guy mentioned he had a tough time finding the right woman b/c with his job he felt women were more driven by his financial situation (i.e. gold diggers). If I was in that situation I would not want to disclose or keep very vague my work/financial situation for that exact reason. Just curious what the expectations are as far as proving that info online as well as providing that info assuming you go on a date. Of course this is completely different than saying you are the CEO of GE when in fact you work the register at Kohls.


No, there's nothing, in my opinion, that a guy can legitimately outright lie about. It's fine to not grossly over-share, though. I don't put anything on my profile that I would mind telling someone I'd just met. I don't think it's a problem if guys keep their private business somewhat private as well. 

Match.com has places to fill out your occupation and your salary range, as well as the salary range you'd prefer in your dates. I never filled any of that out. That's just not information I think anyone needs unless/until things have progressed a bit. I do give an honest range for my income if someone I'm emailing with, and intend to meet, directly asks. 

The man I'm seeing is a business owner who is very comfortably situated. I believe his profile simply listed his occupation as "construction/trades". Honest, but not the whole story. He told me what he does for a living on our first date. I come from a more affluent family than he does, but I make less money and my occupation is dictated by a need for a great deal of flexibility to care for my high-needs son. He's aware of that. We share similar lifestyles. Neither of us have felt the need to inquire further into one another's financials at this point.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Rowan said:


> No, there's nothing, in my opinion, that a guy can legitimately outright lie about. It's fine to not grossly over-share, though. I don't put anything on my profile that I would mind telling someone I'd just met. I don't think it's a problem if guys keep their private business somewhat private as well.
> 
> Match.com has places to fill out your occupation and your salary range, as well as the salary range you'd prefer in your dates. I never filled any of that out. That's just not information I think anyone needs unless/until things have progressed a bit. I do give an honest range for my income if someone I'm emailing with, and intend to meet, directly asks.
> 
> The man I'm seeing is a business owner who is very comfortably situated. I believe his profile simply listed his occupation as "construction/trades". Honest, but not the whole story. He told me what he does for a living on our first date. I come from a more affluent family than he does, but I make less money and my occupation is dictated by a need for a great deal of flexibility to care for my high-needs son. He's aware of that. We share similar lifestyles. Neither of us have felt the need to inquire further into one another's financials at this point.


Interesting, I am surprised that a salary range option would be available, but I guess it makes sense if that is something someone is specifically looking at/for.


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## Constable Odo (Feb 14, 2015)

When I see a "salary range" requirement in an online profile requirement, I immediately think "gold-digger".

Granted, nobody wants to hook up with a deadbeat, and I imagine some minimal level of income is necessary to maintain a certain lifestyle, so I guess it makes sense at some level.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I stopped dating (other than my wife) long before the internet existed, so I was very surprised things like salary range were listed.

I would have thought that your interests and activities would give a pretty good idea of the sort of lifestyle you enjoy. 




EllisRedding said:


> Interesting, I am surprised that a salary range option would be available, but I guess it makes sense if that is something someone is specifically looking at/for.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

EllisRedding said:


> Interesting, I am surprised that a salary range option would be available, but I guess it makes sense if that is something someone is specifically looking at/for.


Most guys seemed to have their preferences set to a salary range fairly similar to their own. In some cases, you could tell what a man's salary range was because of where he'd set his preferences, even if he did not supply his own range in his profile. I did encounter a number of apparently affluent men who had their preferences for their partner's salary range set well above my own means. To me, that clearly indicated someone trying to weed out gold diggers. I'm not sure how successful that tactic might have been.

ETA: And, yes, I could usually tell from hobbies, interests, and profile pictures what sort of lifestyle a guy had.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

My profile was truthful, but brief... and not aimed at describing me, but giving a taste of my personality quirks and humor. Plus about equal time given to what I was looking for in someone (which, conveniently, also says some things about me).


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I never fill out the "fin-stats" section of a dating site questionnaire. But I sure as hell like to read within the lady's profiles where they say that they will not consider going out with a guy unless he has attained a certain financial echelon/strata; greatly demonstrating to me their shallowness in openly showing the entire world that all that they are remotely interested in is who their next "sugar daddy" is going to be!

If "money" or "material wealth" appears near the top of their dating requirements list, then I simply use that information to just weed them out with!

After all, there are a lot better class of women out there!*


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Lila said:


> To put it in 'man speak'....Taller men to women = Spinners to men.


Sorry, I don't understand this reference... could you explain in detail


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> And I prefer a guy a few inches taller which means 5'10" and I put that because I'd accept less but every single guy I have gone out with who listed his height less than 6' has lied about his height. I know exactly how tall I am (5' 6.75") and I always wear flats when meeting someone for the first time. Guys who are 5'9 invariably say they are 5'10. Most guys who are bald have photos with hats and/or a few older ones where they have more hair. Personally baldness doesn't matter to me one way or the other so if a woman hates baldness, shouldn't he just let it shine?


:rofl: Touche on the bald/hat thing, but I did have at least one pic that was hatless.

The problem with bald pics is that many of those pics come out unrepresentative in several lighting situations. In bright sunlight or with directed lighting, my head comes out nuclear shiney slick, which it is not. I have quite a bit of stubble and my head isn't shiney in person.

Cameras suck. lol


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

EnjoliWoman said:


> I do know women who like a man who is the same height (they love the eye to eye thing)


I get a lot of that interest... 5'8" - 5'10" women. Kinda drives me nuts since my preference is average female height and shorter. 5'7" is my upper bound. Seems most of the women in my preferred height range prefer taller than me though (I'm 5'10"), if they were choosing from a menu.

Life be cruel! lol But the tall guys and short women look all mutt and jeff to me.

I've always guessed that for short females, picking a tall male is partly about seeking security, and maybe a bit about not wanting their kids to be short.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

intheory said:


> I don't get this comparison.
> 
> A guy refusing to date a woman who is less than "D" cup, is like a woman who refuses to date a guy unless he has a toned, fit chest.
> 
> ...


This may come as a shock to some people, but men and women are different, and consequently, what men and women find attractive in a partner is also different.

In general, height is a VERY MAJOR issue for women, whereas it is generally not important for men.

Body shape, while important to both sexes, is (in general) more important to men than it is to women.


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## devotion (Oct 8, 2012)

My now fiancee's dating profile included requirements for religion and income and some of her interests, like travel.

I didn't meet the religion requirements, but missed that part when looking at her profile and contacting her. I did meet the income requirements and also was interested in travel. 

She actually DID see the religion didn't match, but she went out with me anyway, and eventually figured out that's not a requirement for her (for me, it never was). In terms of income, I still find it a little odd, but even though she makes good money, she still wants the man to be a 'provider' and make at least as much as her. So that's extending the 'height' preference to a 'salary' preference too. Since I'm traditional that's OK though I feel its a poor double standard, because I have no expectations of her salary one way or the other. 

The last one is interesting because SHE believes she likes to travel, but she really doesn't. It's kind of a sliding scale, in her mind she likes to travel, but not as much as me. So we're still working out a compromise on that. 

The other girls I met online were pretty spot on about their profile, though one did tell me she met someone who was completely different than his profile. That's stupid except for those people who like to catfish or just have online only relationships. 

My profile was also accurate, with up to date pictures, but I'm sure there were things I also said I am interested in that I'm really not interested in. I remember when I found my ex-wife's profile and she said she liked bowling... we had bowled twice in nearly twenty years of being together!


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

I married a man who was 5'8 at the time. I am 5'4'. That man is now 5'6''. He is physically very strong, but he is on the small side. 

He at the time, 30 yrs ago, he looked a lot like a young Al Panino. 
Not so much anymore. 

I have always felt very heavy around my hub, but yet I dont even weigh 115 pounds. I have gone thur years of feeling so big around him, that I told my gf friend, the next guy will be at least 5'10, heavier, ((not fat)) and not a cheater. 

Its not so romanctic for me as a lover to always feel larger than hubs. 

I want a man that will pick me up, let me climb on him, jump on his back, reach things for me, & not one complaining that I've gained weigh when I see I havent. 

I havent joined a dating site yet, bc of my age I too will only see the old men if I put my real age, as I too look a lot younger also. 

Ugh,... wonder what the dating world will be like... 

~sammy


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

This is a dilemma it seems. If you're with someone for many years and have gone through life together, you should be forgiving of the physical wear and tear. You've lived those years together and the physical changes are evidence of your life together. When suddenly you don't have all the history with someone and you're seeing all the wear and tear without that foundation its way different. Thus we tend to start adjusting the age range down...


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

Shoto1984 said:


> This is a dilemma it seems. If you're with someone for many years and have gone through life together, you should be forgiving of the physical wear and tear. You've lived those years together and the physical changes are evidence of your life together...


My MIL tells me, this why our eye sight starts to go... so we dont see what we really look like as we get older. 

~sammy


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I don't think I ever saw an income range when I was OLD. Even if it was there I would refuse to answer.


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