# The Feeling of not being good enough... even When doing my best.



## CANTrucker79 (Dec 28, 2014)

The Feeling of not being good enough... even When doing my best.

I am in a very special situation. I've been married for 7 yrs, been with my wife for a total of 10 yrs. 
We have had our us and downs like any Long term couple nowadays.. but there is one big difference.

We have a 8 yrs old son with special needs. He has been diagnosed with MULTIPLE things to which Im not really in the mood to start describing right now. Long list.
For about two years, He has been going to a special center for children with special needs to help him with things We cant.. or do not know How to do. Anyway..

Im a truck driver. I work weekly. She does not work, She stays home. Our son is gone 5 days a week and home on weekends. Im gone on the road while my son is gone to the center.
When I get back, We go get him.. or I do.. All depends. Now our son has a mommy complex. Mommy Mommy Mommy for everything. I try to stick myself between the two and try to take over.. but sometimes it does not work, or I force him to accept me to do it for him. Sometimes She acts like She has had him all week and gets so annoyed with him so quickly, which in turn makes my mood go right to.. well.. you know. The weekends are not easy, especially the nights with going to bed. Wakes up alot during the night. She often gets up, I sometimes take over. I do my best..

Lately though, I feel like She wants me to do everything. She's got a Daddy complex. Go ask Daddy. All she wants to do is watch TV in our room and tells our son to go see Daddy.. When I get home after driving 3000 miles, Im tired. I try my best to help with our son and around the house.. but Im not superman. My wife does next to no housework, seriously. It's a cyclone and a mess and with our son its 3 times worse. Her side of the bedroom looks like a hoarders paradise, but of garbage and clothes that has been washed but not put away.. a mountain of it. The bathroom... well.. no comment. The kitchen sink when I get home is well.. no comment. 95% of the time, When housework gets done, its by me on the weekends when I get home. I do some wash too, but She helps me fold it.. our new car.. what a mess inside...

A year ago, She threatened to leave me If I didnt start doing more with our son, to her liking. I tried my best to do more with him, but being tired doesnt help, but I really do my best..
Now, about 2 months ago, She threatened me again, with the same thing. It would seem my best isnt good enough for her. That all I do isnt good enough. I pay all the bills, the food, everything, and Im not complaining about that at all. Its my family. I do my best on weekends.. even when burnt. Even now, I feel it from her sometimes. When She doesnt get her way, doesnt win with me. 
Im simply getting tired. Im tired. Beat. No energy. It takes all my lifeforce to keep up with what she expects of me. 

I could complain all day about her, but I dont. I dont start arguments with her, for my sons sake. Anyway, She does not accept being Criticized by me or anyone. She huffs and puffs within seconds. There no talking to her about her wrong doings. 

Any other guys out there go through this with their wives? Even with children without special needs? How do you cope?

I could say so much more, but Whats the point. This above is now. The past is the past.

CANTruck79


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