# Lying and Hiding



## Daisydukes (Dec 16, 2015)

Hey!
I'm new to this site and this forum - thought I'd give it a go!
About a week ago I noticed my husband was acting strangely. He was texting strange numbers without saving the contacts, and one night, he got out of bed really late, and I overheard him on the phone with someone taking about where to hide something - specifically, putting it in the gas cap door in his truck and that he'll go out and get it. I didn't want to think anything of it but of course I couldn't stop myself. What is this suspicious call? I rolled over and pretended to be asleep. Next day he's on the phone outside and I overheard him talking about being dry and how he got flaked on. Sounds to me like drug use.
So he started having these weird episodes of vomiting and no sex drive. I work for doctors and they said it's due to drug use (I provided more details to them). So I addressed him saying that I spoke to doctors and they're saying the symptoms are related to drug use. He got incredibly mad at me. SO mad! So I tried to dismiss it, blaming myself, of course. Then, I saw him deleting texts, but I didn't want to say anything. Now yesterday we got home really late and he checked the mail. I saw him put something back in and I asked him about it. He said it was just the past residents mail. We've been in the house for a few months and this guy has never come to pick up mail, and the mail he pulled from the box still had letters for the past resident. I get up for work really early, checked the box, and nothing was there. I got suspicious and admit to snooping when I picked up his phone and noticed a single text from someone saying they picked it up. I immediately called my husband and he started yelling at me about not believing him and that he didn't do anything, he only put something back in the box. I responded with the question of why he didn't go walk the other letters back out. No explanation. So, I decided to hunt down the old residents number and he hasn't come to pick anything up in months and certainly wasn't here last night. 
I don't know what to do. It seems obvious to me that he's up to something... but I don't have hard evidence to back my case... Help! I can't keep pretending like nothing is going on and that I don't know anything... I don't know what to do.


----------



## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

It's either drugs or he is selling state secrets to the enemy. 

Ask him to get a blood test. Get some video camera and hid them outside to tape what or who is coming around your house.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

How old are the two of you? How long have you been married? Do you have any children?


----------



## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

You cannot ignore this. It could become a matter for the police if serious drugs are involved.

To help we need more information. How old are the two of you? How long have you been married? Together? And very important, do you have any children?


----------



## Imovedforthis (Dec 18, 2015)

totally drugs.... just from my past experiences with my sister. This is the type of stuff she would do.. people would come by her house and hide stuff all over secretly for her to find and she will leave money for them as well.

First thing to check is your account balances and all your money... start there. Is there money coming up missing. Even $5 here and there can add up quickly. My husband is good at hiding money this way... he will say he spent 5 or 10 on gas (no receipts) and couple days later same thing... well after a week he could have a good 60-100 stashed away for whatever he wants and is playing it off as getting gas or cigs. 

Check finances.... 

listen close to see if you hear cars pulling up at night and try to spy out the window to see where they are putting the packages.


----------



## workindad (May 7, 2011)

OP- sorry to say- this sounds like drugs to me. I agree with keeping an eye on your finances and valuables.

You might want to consider a VAR in his car.


----------



## Threeblessings (Sep 23, 2015)

Every lie he tells brings you closer to goodbye.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree that you need to do more snooping. But stop confronting him every time you find something. He will deny it and it will drive his dealings more underground.

Get enough evidence so that you know 100% what's going on. And then confront him only after you have a plan of action.


----------



## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

If it is drugs - talking to him and asking him to explain his actions are a total waste of time. Using logic is a total waste of time.

Drug users can get addicted quickly. Once addicted, the only thing that matters is getting more drugs. They will lie, hide, steal, and betray anyone to get the next "high".

He is playing a dangerous game having drugs delivered to your home or having them hidden in the gas cap of your car.

Get your evidence and check out any local addiction organizations and support groups. Go there yourself and talk to them. They can provide some advice.


----------



## Daisydukes (Dec 16, 2015)

Thanks all for your comments. I tried being honest with him about what's been on my mind and it didn't help much. He got defensive and tried to restore my perception of him, a valid thing to do... But I didn't entirely believe it, of course, with everything I've found. So here's another dilemma... I snooped through his phone tonight when I couldn't sleep and found that he deleted everything... I don't want to admit to snooping but I really need to get to the bottom of this for my sake. Help!


----------



## workindad (May 7, 2011)

What kind of phone is it? There are some tech types on here who may be able to help you recover and read deleted texts etc.

If he had nothing to hide, he would hide nothing.

This is why you should try to get more information before discussing things with him. It will only make him take his activities further underground.

I would definitely drop a VAR in his car, cheap and effective. Sony makes a decent model that is not too expensive.


Best of luck
WD


----------



## ILoveSparkles (Oct 28, 2013)

Does he have a history of using drugs?


----------



## brokenguy (Sep 7, 2015)

Your methods of spying need work, confront him after you have hard evidence, anything without hard evidence will only be met with anger.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Daisy,

The thread linked to below has a lot of info on how to snoop and get the evidence you need.


http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html#post9756666


----------



## Daisydukes (Dec 16, 2015)

He has a Samsung Galaxy. I'm not familiar with a VAR


----------



## workindad (May 7, 2011)

A VAR is a voice activated recorder. You can find them at Best Buy or other places that sell electronics. They are very easy to use and very effective, look at the Sony models.

I do not have a Samsung- can't help with that.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Call the police and tell them you ythink your husband is dealing drugs. Tell them you don't want to get caught in the middle. You gave him multiple chances to fess up and he didn't . when he get busted divorce his ass.


----------



## Daisydukes (Dec 16, 2015)

Thanks all for your input! I finally got him to confess to what's been going on... I'm certainly going to look into the VARs since trust is going to be a problem now. Ughh


----------

