# My gal sex drive is down.



## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

Here's the story. I'm 49 and she 47. We just got back together recently after a 4 month split. been together for 2 years. We were engaged and living wait for her to make the move? Help! Who has gone thru this. And what worked. y. She won't kiss except little pecks, not the deep forever kind we had. She won't sex text. She doesn't like it when I go fur a quick feel. All of this she used to love. Do I continue to pour it on? Do I back off totally and wait for her to make the move? Help! Who has gone thru this. And what worked.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

jdesey said:


> *My wife loves me dearly. * The issue is that she never says I love you unless I say it first. she never just comes up and hugs or kisses me. she never initiates sex But she is always receptive when I do. We have discussed this many times. she says it is because the way her family was when she grew up. No body said I love you and her parents showed no affection towards each other. I try to accept this, but it hurts. I try to then withold the I love yous and the hugs and kisses,,, but thats just not me..
> Anyone have experience with this? andy advice



Which is it wife, girlfriend, fiance, ex-fiance?


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## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

I used to refer to her as my wife and she did the same. The wedding was just a formality and it got postponed. she's not ready to wear the ring again. So it's live together exclusive girlfriend for now.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

May she is just not that into you anymore. Or maybe he sex drive is down WITH YOU. 

"The issue is that she never says I love you unless I say it first. she never just comes up and hugs or kisses me. she never initiates sex But she is always receptive when I do. We have discussed this many times. she says it is because the way her family was when she grew up. No body said I love you and her parents showed no affection towards each other. I try to accept this, but it hurts. I try to then withold the I love yous and the hugs and kisses,,," - My wife is same way. Just the way she is. I accept it. But I do not punish her by withholding. Why in the world would you do that? And you wonder why the sex is down?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Why were you separated for 4 months? And, what caused you to get back together?


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Ah - you've smothered her. You my man - have lost the thread. 

When everything is balanced - and desire is mutual then the stuff you reference is fine. 

But when she feels crowded - all that stuff comes across as needy. 

It all feels the same to her. Not as you saying: I want you.

But rather you asking: Do you want me?

Stop crowding her. And see what happens. 




jdesey said:


> Here's the story. I'm 49 and she 47. We just got back together recently after a 4 month split. been together for 2 years. We were engaged and living wait for her to make the move? Help! Who has gone thru this. And what worked. y. She won't kiss except little pecks, not the deep forever kind we had. She won't sex text. She doesn't like it when I go fur a quick feel. All of this she used to love. Do I continue to pour it on? Do I back off totally and wait for her to make the move? Help! Who has gone thru this. And what worked.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

It's only been 4 months since you got her evicted. She doesn't trust you, yet. Come on, why can't a 49 year old man pay the damn rent? She was contributing, too. It may take her a long time to trust that you can take care of the bare necessities.

I get the feeling that you think this is all a big hoot and why isn't she over this yet? You want everything to go back to normal and she isn't ready for your brand of 'normal'.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Blondilocks said:


> It's only been 4 months since you got her evicted. She doesn't trust you, yet. Come on, why can't a 49 year old man pay the damn rent? She was contributing, too. It may take her a long time to trust that you can take care of the bare necessities.
> 
> I get the feeling that you think this is all a big hoot and why isn't she over this yet? You want everything to go back to normal and she isn't ready for your brand of 'normal'.


Cmon, it's simple. If she'd just understand that everything would be great if she took care of him like his mommy and did him like a porn star all would be well.

It's not him, she just doesn't get how simple he is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

Thank you Mem for the good advice.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

What about Blondilocks and Lifeistooshort?

Isn't their advice good also?

Unwelcome advice can sometimes be the best advice.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

If everything the others are saying is correct (I haven't followed your threads) then you need to act like a man if you want her to screw you like a man. Right now it sounds like you aren't meeting her basic relationship needs and instead are treating her like a piece of meat and she doesn't appreciate it. Be hard working, successful, ambitious, etc. and you'll probably get treated differently by her.


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## Bitteratwomen (Jun 21, 2014)

She doesnt love you anymore. Tell her to woman up or youre out the door.


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