# Stuck in denial



## Ldziesinski (Nov 18, 2021)

My soon to be ex husband is stuck in denial about his EA. I know it really does not matter at this point, but does that ever fade? I am just curious. Any feedback is appreciated.


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

He will stop denying it sometime after you have left. He's probably already stopped denting, but he will never admit it to you.


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## Ldziesinski (Nov 18, 2021)

jonty30 said:


> He will stop denying it sometime after you have left. He's probably already stopped denting, but he will never admit it to you.


I have moved out for the most part, and he is desperately trying to convince me it is not. I think its because he knows I am going to tell his boss, and the divorce is a little uglier because of it.


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## Ldziesinski (Nov 18, 2021)

And then somedays I wonder if he just is too stupid to understand the severity of an EA, and doesnt understand what he has done


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Ldziesinski said:


> I have moved out for the most part, and he is desperately trying to convince me it is not. I think its because he knows I am going to tell his boss, and the divorce is a little uglier because of it.


He's throwing Hail Marys. He's probably learned, in other areas, that if he tells lies large enough and often enough and forceful enough that they become the truth.
This is probably not the only area that he's lacked integrity in.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

As the marriage is ending just don't worry about what he thinks, believes or says. Some people will just never admit to doing anything wrong no matter what.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

He probably figures he has nothing to gain by admitting anything and if he's like my ex he's extremely concerned with image management.

My ex played dumb and denied right to the end and never admitted more then I could prove. But he did once slip that when I first confronted him his first thought was "OMG what don't she know".

So he was absolutely lying.

Maybe your stbx is like this?


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

Do you have proof to shut him down? Text, email, or social media evidence or was he exposed by a 3rd party? If he had proximity, are you sure it was only an EA? 

Sometimes you don’t get the confirmation you want. There are some that will go down lying until the end. Just know that when he sees someone else getting your best, it will eat him up.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

He sees no benefit in the truth so, no, it probably won’t change.


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## rugswept (May 8, 2019)

The big flaw that comes with so many cheaters is that they don't find their behavior to be all that objectionable. And some of the things that "aren't all that objectionable" are acts of homicide on the M. Most of the time the victim of the cheater just doesn't know about the homicide yet. 

The "can't you get over it" is because they see it all that's it's not a big deal. Yes, they are living in an alternate space from where we are.


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## Ldziesinski (Nov 18, 2021)

jsmart said:


> Do you have proof to shut him down? Text, email, or social media evidence or was he exposed by a 3rd party? If he had proximity, are you sure it was only an EA?
> 
> Sometimes you don’t get the confirmation you want. There are some that will go down lying until the end. Just know that when he sees someone else getting your best, it will eat him up.


I found videos they made and texted to each other, his was prefixed with “Trojan horse delete delete” so she knew not to play around her husband and Kds


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