# Buying your teenage kids condoms, I've been on the fence with this one.



## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Like some input from random strangers on the internet because this is something I had not considered until recently. 

We have teenagers 14 and 16. Some friends of ours with slightly older boys have told us they buy their kids condoms. At first I thought it was crazy but have reconsidered after giving it more thought. I have come to the thinking if they're going to do it they're going to do it, why not try to ensure they are safe about it. 

So thoughts?


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## Numb26 (Sep 11, 2019)

Absolutely yes. Know matter how much you talk to and trust your kids they are still going to experiment (didn't we all?). Best to teach them personal responsibility early.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

if I had kids that age I would first do all to have them home after school ,if they are going to do what adults do then by all means buy them condoms


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

My Dad started buying me condoms when I was fifteen. I’m not sure if my Mom knew.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Andy1001 said:


> My Dad started buying me condoms when I was fifteen. I’m not sure if my Mom knew.


when i was young the only place you could get them was in the pharmacist , and i had a friend that his mother would kill him if she found his condoms so he used to hide them in his car in the pipe for the air vent , he must have been easy 18 might be 19 at the time , things have changed a lot ,


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Absolutely. Young teens, and even tweens, are having sex - might as well give them the tools and knowledge to make them as safe as possible. My oldest is 13 and I made sure to stock up his bathroom (and will continue to). I will do the same for all of my kids, girls included. 

When I was a teen my mom would put them in my dresser. No teen pregnancies or STDs and I didn't go bareback until I got married, so I'd say it worked. My wife's mom refused to let her have birth control and shamed the **** of it, guess who got pregnant at 15 or 16?

Also, for the love of god don't have a "family stash" and count the condoms. I've known parents to do that, then question the teens about it.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

bobert said:


> Absolutely. Young teens, and even tweens, are having sex - might as well give them the tools and knowledge to make them as safe as possible. My oldest is 13 and I made sure to stock up his bathroom (and will continue to). I will do the same for all of my kids, girls included.
> 
> When I was a teen my mom would put them in my dresser. No teen pregnancies or STDs and I didn't go bareback until I got married, so I'd say it worked. My wife's mom refused to let her have birth control and shamed the **** of it, guess who got pregnant at 15 or 16?
> 
> Also, for the love of god don't have a "family stash" and count the condoms. I've known parents to do that, then question the teens about it.


Honestly the evil side of me wants him to experience the awkwardness of buying them himself. I remember the first time I bought condoms the check out girl looked at me and said, looks like it's going to be a good weekend huh.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Honestly the evil side of me wants him to experience the awkwardness of buying them himself. I remember the first time I bought condoms the check out girl looked at me and said, looks like it's going to be a good weekend huh.


I never had anyone say anything to my when buying them


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

I don't have kids but I am the confidant to many friends' kids. The parents know & the deal is I keep confidences, unless I can't, in which case I give the kid 48-72 hours to disclose to mom & dad or I will. It works for everybody. 

Anyway, safety & responsibility have to come 1st. I would not just hand the kid the condoms. There would be long discussions about human sexuality, the consequences of sex (pregnancy in this post _Roe_ world and disease) plus lots of discussion about the ethics / morals I expected. I would make super clear that this was no permission but safety. 

In college in the 80s I was "safe sex" chair for my sorority. To combat AIDS as it was spreading onto college campuses, every sorority & fraternity had to have the chair, who always had to have at least a dozen condoms on them so people could ask especially in the heat of the moment & parties etc. If I ran out at a party, I would know who my counterpart was at any given house & could go get more from him with the obligation to replace what I borrowed. It gave people a safe less embarrassing way to make sure they were protected.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Honestly the evil side of me wants him to experience the awkwardness of buying them himself. I remember the first time I bought condoms the check out girl looked at me and said, looks like it's going to be a good weekend huh.


He will probably still buy his own sometimes, like if the moment comes up suddenly and he doesn't have any with him... Some high schools also have a bowl of them in the guidance counselors office. 

I wouldn't want my kids to go without condoms just to avoid that embarrassing moment, then end up with a teen pregnancy due to it.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

frenchpaddy said:


> I never had anyone say anything to my when buying them


It was the only time that ever happened to me, but every time after that I felt awkward.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

bobert said:


> He will probably still buy his own sometimes, like if the moment comes up suddenly and he doesn't have any with him... Some high schools also have a bowl of them in the guidance counselors office.
> 
> I wouldn't want my kids to go without condoms just to avoid that embarrassing moment, then end up with a teen pregnancy due to it.


In order to promote safe sex and decrease the risk of teen pregnancy, France's school have vending machines which dispense condoms.

The first condom vending machine in France was installed back in 1992 after the government's decision faced resistance from school administrations and some section of the society.
However, soon the decision was welcomed by many in this overwhelmingly Catholic nation.
In France, nearly 96% of high schools — public schools and private schools that receive state funds — have condom vending machines, according to a survey conducted by the Education Ministry last year.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

Not just for boys - this thread got me to thinking I should give some to my 14 yr old daughter.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

OnTheRocks said:


> Not just for boys - this thread got me to thinking I should give some to my 14 yr old daughter.


I think we would carry this forward to our daughter as well.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Condoms now or diapers later.


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

OnTheRocks said:


> Not just for boys - this thread got me to thinking I should give some to my 14 yr old daughter.


Wow, way to tacitly encourage your YOUNG teenage daughter to be promiscuous.

I’m all for teaching the importance of safe sex and personal responsibility to teens (and have been with my older kids).

But no ****ing way on that one.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I bought a few different kinds, so there's no room for the "I/he didn't like that kind" or the "it didn't fit" excuse. My oldest also has a latex allergy so he has to be careful with what he uses. I wouldn't want him relying on what a girl has.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

DudeInProgress said:


> Wow, way to tacitly encourage your YOUNG teenage daughter to be promiscuous.
> 
> I’m all for teaching the importance of safe sex and personal responsibility to teens (and have been with my older kids).
> 
> But no ****ing way on that one.




It doesn't encourage them to be promiscuous. If they want to do that, they will regardless.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

I have a 17 year old and told him I would buy him condoms anytime and wouldn’t ask any questions about it. But i waited until he was 17, when I thought he was mature enough to understand the need.


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## TinyTbone (6 mo ago)

I have one child, a daughter. I have always been open about sexuality and living herself. You only have one body for your whole life, be good with it. Now I always stressed abstinence if possible. I ensured she understood sexuality and all it means. That the ultimate purpose of sex is procreation. That being said, it is also an amazing experience between 2 people, especially if part of a living relationship. I ensured she knew to respect herself and not cheapen the act of physically sharing her body, like a piece of candy. I made her aware that ultimately in any relationship, it always comes down to sex and the decision to or not. 
So in answer yes. I made sure she had easy access to birth control, no questions asked.
Now the wife on the other hand, well.....


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

bobert said:


> It doesn't encourage them to be promiscuous. If they want to do that, they will regardless.


1. Yes it does.
2. She may anyway but I’m certainly not going to give my 14 daughter the tacit green light. 
Education and guidance, yes. Unsolicited condoms for 14yo girls, no.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Like some input from random strangers on the internet because this is something I had not considered until recently.
> 
> We have teenagers 14 and 16. Some friends of ours with slightly older boys have told us they buy their kids condoms. At first I thought it was crazy but have reconsidered after giving it more thought. I have come to the thinking if they're going to do it they're going to do it, why not try to ensure they are safe about it.
> 
> So thoughts?


No. That just gives them license before they understand themselves or others. 

On the other hand, that does not guarantee they will learn to socialize with respect. I was virgin until almost 30 because I didn't understand a damned thing about how to relate. I don't believe I ever had a condom until my wife hit menopause.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

happyhusband0005 said:


> .....We have teenagers 14 and 16. Some friends of ours with slightly older boys have told us they buy their kids condoms.
> 
> ......I have come to the thinking if they're going to do it they're going to do it, why not try to ensure they are safe about it.


Yes I have some thoughts. Age 14 is probably a good time, maybe a little late depending on the child. Age 16, they may have already thought about sexual experimentation.

I assume you have raised them with strong moral values, mostly by example, which is the best core strategy to having them lead good and responsible lives. 

It is definitely time for a sex talk with your 14 & 16 year old. Regardless if they were boys or girls, I would probably buy a couple dozen condoms a dozen each and give them to each child. I would explain that in this day and age that there are STD's & STI's that are incurable and that there are other diseases, which can be cured but can provide lasting physical and emotional damage. You might want to have some written handouts to provide with the talk.

Like all things in life you need to explain to them that there are costs and benefits to sex, especially when you are too young to fully understand all the consequences. Hormones and peer pressure are huge aspects to mid teen's lives. So much media is about teens trying adult relationships before they are ready. So yes boys or girls need to have protection first from STD's and second from pregnancy. 

They have already probably been experimenting with at least non-penetrative sex in some form or another. Volunteer to chaperone a school dance sometime. In my day there was slow dirty dancing, but modern twerking dancing and other stuff is just too much more. I would also tell them that sex can be chemically and emotionally addictive, that the release of oxytocine and sex hormones are designed by nature to create an emotional bond. Which means that they need to be careful who they have sex with and that they are emotionally ready for what will likely happen.

Tell you children that if they have a friend who is exploring sex to tell them to be very careful about STD's and that they should feel free to give their friend some of the condoms you provided them. Also tell them that if they need more, you will provide them more condoms without and judgement or questions, up to the point that they need so many, that they should start paying for them themselves. Also find a local resource they can contact if they have questions, need an STD screening, treatment, etc. Again, if in doubt, if they need medical screening or treatment that you will pay for it.

While you are at the talk also talk to them about drugs and alcohol that and cloud their judgement and how dangerous they are when combined with driving or with sex. Again, tell them that if they are at a party and have been drinking or drugging and need a ride home, they can call you and you will not judge them. Tell them that as children on the cusp of being adults they will be required to make more and more adult decisions and you want to be their for them, if they make a minor mistake and prevent it from becoming a huge mistake. 

Good luck, it is a scary world out there. Young kids are sexualized at an early age and need all the support they can get. Alcohol and Drugs are another huge life challenge that youth face.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

DudeInProgress said:


> 1. Yes it does.
> 2. She may anyway but I’m certainly not going to give my 14 daughter the tacit green light.
> Education and guidance, yes. Unsolicited condoms for 14yo girls, no.


I understand your position, but the STD consequences of sexual experimentation, in my mind, outweigh the "tacit green light" that providing condoms would give. 

You are absolutely correct that Education and guidance are the first line. However, your daughter may be able to help and advise a girl friend and provide a condom to that friend or that friend's brother through her girlfriend.

You may be right if you or your wife have an exceptional relationship with your daughter and her friends, but even then, there will come a time, when she will start sexual experimentation. If your lucky it will be mostly non-penetrative at first, but even then she will decide at some point to become more intimate with someone, at least if one believes the statistics. Today, most young people are delaying marriage until their mid-to-late 20's and so that additionally puts even more pressure on them to have penetrative sex before marriage. My view is that even the most "responsible and mature" 17 to 23 year olds are a hot raging mess of sex hormones trying to take complete control their thought patterns.

Good luck to you.


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## bdivita (Nov 28, 2021)

Mother of a 16 year old boy here. I’ve been having very open (not inappropriate) conversations about sex with my son for several years, as has his dad. Until recently his dad and I lived in separate household and so he spent 50/50 time with us. I bought him condoms, just put them in his bathroom and told him they were there. Well, despite all of that his girlfriend is expecting a baby in 2 week’s time. I thought I was doing everything right as far as sex and protection went but I feel like I failed.


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## OnTheRocks (Sep 26, 2011)

DudeInProgress said:


> 1. Yes it does.
> 2. She may anyway but I’m certainly not going to give my 14 daughter the tacit green light.
> Education and guidance, yes. Unsolicited condoms for 14yo girls, no.


Do you or have you had a teenage kid? Or, were you a teenager at some point yourself? LOL

Is this different for a girl?


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## Beach123 (Dec 6, 2017)

You either buy them condoms or expect a pregnancy. 
which do you choose? The answer seems simple. Teach them young. Protecting themselves is part of having sex.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I never bought my children condoms. Made sure they knew about sex and pregnancy etc Also taught them good values. 
To me it would seem like I was encouraging them or letting them think I was ok about them having sex at such a young age.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Like teens are going to always listen to their parents(who they think don't know shyt about anything) ..lol. heck they probably be less inclined to use them if their parents gave it to them then if they bought it themselves...or got it from a friend. 

Buying them condoms is little more effective than telling them to drive the speed limit. It's how you raise them and what type of character they have.

They know where to get them and know what to do, it's not like when we were kids, they have the luxury of the internet. 

Of course it's wise to communicate with your kids about sex and let them understand that the door is always open for that discussion. Remind them often about how a teen pregnancy or even an STD can, and often is, life altering. 

Bottom line is I guess giving them condoms can't hurt, but it's far better to teach them how to drive, than give them a driver's manual.....so to speak.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*I could swear I've seen them right on the shelf at Walmart in the "personal" items aisle where they sell feminine products and lubrication, etc. etc.*
_*


bdivita said:



Mother of a 16 year old boy here. I’ve been having very open (not inappropriate) conversations about sex with my son for several years, as has his dad. Until recently his dad and I lived in separate household and so he spent 50/50 time with us. I bought him condoms, just put them in his bathroom and told him they were there. Well, despite all of that his girlfriend is expecting a baby in 2 week’s time. I thought I was doing everything right as far as sex and protection went but I feel like I failed.

Click to expand...

*_
Not to be crass, but for what it's worth, I'd be insisting on a DNA test.

Teenagers and all...


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

Wow, has parenting really changed that much in the last 25 years? Might as well say, 'they are going to drink and do drugs anyway so I might as well buy it for them and have them get drunk and high at home so they will be safe.' Whatever happened to teaching morals and values? I told both of my sons that if they got a girl pregnant, they would be raising their own child, not me. They believed me. Neither of them had sex before marriage. Sorry, I don't get it.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> *I could swear I've seen them right on the shelf at Walmart in the "personal" items aisle where they sell feminine products and lubrication, etc. etc.*
> 
> Not to be crass, but for what it's worth, I'd be insisting on a DNA test.
> 
> Teenagers and all...


They're there. And any 16yo boy can buy them. Hell anyone can buy them.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

We did not buy our kids condoms when they were teens, they are 22 and 24 now. However, we most certainly discussed sex, safe sex and relationships involving sex. They also heard plenty about safe sex in school too. If they want to have sex then they can provide their own protection. Having access to condoms is not a problem. Even if available they may or may not chose to use them anyway.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

I'm wondering about responders who are certain their teens are going to be involved in sex. I was not, my daughter was not (I know when she lost her virginity), others are not.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Julie's Husband said:


> I'm wondering about responders who are certain their teens are going to be involved in sex. I was not, my daughter was not (I know when she lost her virginity), others are not.


No one should be certain their teens are not or will not be sexually active. Some teens are very open with their parents but many will lie right to your face. Or parents just can't believe their kid would do x, y, z, until their sweet little teen becomes a teen parent.

I was very open with my mom about it, so I know that exists. But the parents who are "so sure" of what their teens are doing are kidding themselves.

My oldest is 13. Kids younger than him are talking about sex, gang bangs, hookers, blow job's, anal, who is ****ing who, posting boob and ass pics on SM, etc. I know of two 13/14 years olds who are pregnant or had the baby already. There are girls handing out blow job's at the playground but they won't kiss because that's too intimate.

So yeah, I'm going to make sure he has condoms easily accessible. He is VERY open with us about this topic. As far as I know, I know what he has and hasn't done and how he feels about it. I do not know for sure though and I'd never assume I do.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

As a guy in his 50's. I believe that we were WAY more sexually active than our kids are now.....And the stats, and what my own kid is telling me, is indicating that is actually the case...The reasons are numerous and I have not the time or inclination to wonder why, but the bottom line is i think its less of an issue than a lot of parents are thinking that it is...


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Julie's Husband said:


> I'm wondering about responders who are certain their teens are going to be involved in sex. I was not, my daughter was not (I know when she lost her virginity), others are not.


It is safer to assume they will vs not be involved in sex. Teen pregnancy rate have dropped substantially over the last 30 years, but I don't know if that is due to less sex or better use of protection. I suspect it is the latter. 

I've coached middle school baseball for a while now and I've overheard enough from 7th and 8th graders to know they are at least talking about sex. I would assume some are engaging in it too.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Why Young People Are Having So Much Less Sex | Psychology Today


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

bobert said:


> No one should be certain their teens are not or will not be sexually active. Some teens are very open with their parents but many will lie right to your face. Or parents just can't believe their kid would do x, y, z, until their sweet little teen becomes a teen parent.


My daughter had plenty of opportunity, but I know when she lost her virginity. It was an "Uncle Buck" situation. I knew who and when, warned her that he was an a**hole and afterwards she admitted I was right.

At her 18th birthday we pretty much became estranged as she broke loose and stopped relating to us.


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## CrAzYdOgLaDy (Mar 22, 2021)

Yes both boys and girls should get free condoms once teenagers. Here in the UK teenagers can get loads free from the sexual health clinic (to try prevent pregnancies and STDs) and also from their drs. 

Sent from my SM-G970F using Tapatalk


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Young at Heart said:


> Yes I have some thoughts. Age 14 is probably a good time, maybe a little late depending on the child. Age 16, they may have already thought about sexual experimentation.
> 
> I assume you have raised them with strong moral values, mostly by example, which is the best core strategy to having them lead good and responsible lives.
> 
> ...


We have always been very open about all things with our kids we have had plenty of sex talks and talks about drug drinking, vaping etc. We have some good examples to point to of how a teen pregnancy can really mess up your life. As well as a few others on the drug and drinking side. The condom thing was something we never really thought about until we heard other people were doing that. It makes good sense logically. Me personally I don't recall my parents ever having a sex talk with me so maybe thats part of what makes me more reserved about the condom thing. My son has a pretty serious girlfriend now, he's had girls chasing him for years, even had an 18 YO stalker a couple of years ago when he was a twitch streamer that was an odd one but this is the first girl he hangs out with all the time and goes on actual dates with. 

Both the kids have good heads on their shoulders and boys that have come around my daughter in the past have been scared off by my son, he is a bit over protective which I should probably put a stop to but I might ride that out a little longer lol.


Julie's Husband said:


> I'm wondering about responders who are certain their teens are going to be involved in sex. I was not, my daughter was not (I know when she lost her virginity), others are not.


Part of the reality is my wife and I were dating (each other) at 16 and were were having sex (with each other) at 17. That is what had me slightly on the fence originally. I expect they will be sexually active at some point, I don't see it as realistic they will wait for marriage, and I personally think thats a bad idea. But my concern has been is providing protection going to speed up the decision. We have come to the conclusion that we have talked to them enough about sex and relationships and the potential consequences etc. that buying condoms is not going to have a significant impact on their decision to or not.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

happyhusband0005 said:


> It makes good sense logically.


It makes better sense for fathers to teach their sons to have character, self control and respect for women. Providing condoms to your children tells them that you condone them having sex and whatever else they want to do. It tells the child that they are in charge.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

How does giving a kid condoms equal teaching them to have no character, self control or respect for women? Do you think saying to a teenager don't have sex is going to work? It would not have/didn't worked for me and my wife.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

People who are certain that their teenagers aren’t having sex are known as grandparents. 
Nobody bats an eyelid about drug addicts being given clean syringes so why should there be a problem giving condoms to teenagers.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Diceplayer said:


> It makes better sense for fathers to teach their sons to have character, self control and respect for women. Providing condoms to your children tells them that you condone them having sex and whatever else they want to do. It tells the child that they are in charge.


It doesn't have to be an either/or situation. I agree with you that it sends an bad message if you just hand your kid some condoms and say, here you go, have fun. However if you have had several age appropriate talks over the years as they mature and provide them condoms at some point I don't see how that is putting the child in charge. And really in the end it is always their decision anyway.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

BigDaddyNY said:


> It doesn't have to be an either/or situation. I agree with you that it sends an bad message if you just hand your kid some condoms and say, here you go, have fun. However if you have had several age appropriate talks over the years as they mature and provide them condoms at some point I don't see how that is putting the child in charge. And really in the end it is always their decision anyway.


I had the talk, focusing on the seriousness of STDs, better not get a girl pregnant, and sex is a serious thing. Respect women, if things to get to sex remember items 1, 2, and 3.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

We have been dealing with this for a couple of years. Our girl has been seeing a young man for about a year now. My husband was like a deer in headlights as to how to handle it, but I insisted we sit down with both kids and the boys parents. We laid it all out to them, the good, the bad and the ugly. We talked birth control, std's, unwanted pregnancy, emotions involved, consent etc. It's just something all parents should do.

One thing we won't allow is sleepovers at our home. My husband in particular feels very strongly about that, and I back him up all the way. Our stance is that we have prepared them, I've always been very open with our girl about all of this stuff, it's been an ongoing conversation rather than "the talk". We're not naive enough to think they won't have sex, but we don't have to facilitate it either. The boys parents didn't allow sleep overs either until he turned 18.


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## Lotsofheart73 (Oct 13, 2021)

bdivita said:


> Mother of a 16 year old boy here. I’ve been having very open (not inappropriate) conversations about sex with my son for several years, as has his dad. Until recently his dad and I lived in separate household and so he spent 50/50 time with us. I bought him condoms, just put them in his bathroom and told him they were there. Well, despite all of that his girlfriend is expecting a baby in 2 week’s time. I thought I was doing everything right as far as sex and protection went but I feel like I failed.


I definitely would not blame yourself. No matter how much you talk to them or try to be understanding, they can still be very impulsive and driven by the moment.
Also, there are many teen boys who believe it when girlfriend says they are on birth control. Hard to get yteen boy to realize that teen girls are extremely fertile. If one pill is missed at the right (wrong) time a pregnancy can result. They get “in the moment” and don’t want to stop for the inconvenience of a condom. 
Being a parent to teens is hard.


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## Lotsofheart73 (Oct 13, 2021)

BigDaddyNY said:


> It is safer to assume they will vs not be involved in sex. Teen pregnancy rate have dropped substantially over the last 30 years, but I don't know if that is due to less sex or better use of protection. I suspect it is the latter.
> 
> I've coached middle school baseball for a while now and I've overheard enough from 7th and 8th graders to know they are at least talking about sex. I would assume some are engaging in it too.


My thought in this (lower teen pregnancy rates) is that plenty of sex is still going on but more and more parents are willing to put their daughter on birth control and condoms available. When I was a teen, parents, especially dads, thought Iif you put your daughter on bc, it is a green light for sex. I think that is changing some. I think there was an episode of That 70s show exactly on that. Donna got on bc and her dad hard a nightmare/daydream of his daughter being “open for business” with guys lining up.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

There are places that offer them no questions asked. My local native american clinic has a sign up in the restrooms that they are available. 

I imagine that just like beer, there are ways to source them, like someone's older brother that you know. Kids are quite resourceful getting "black market" items. They regularly pass around burner phones at schools here (friend is a teacher with a teen) for when teens get their phones confiscated by parents or school. Teens have it covered for the most part. 

To me, the important thing would be to try to have a dialog so that he knew he can come talk to you and be sure to cover the basics early on. Like maybe while covering the basics, you say to prevent disease and pregnancy, people must wear condoms and say it nonjudgmentally so that it's not some huge big deal and maybe he'll come to you in the future with questions. I certainly wouldn't skip the part about how getting a girl pregnant will change your life forever and be the end of youth as you know it. Kids don't think about that stuff. They need to know that before they get someone pregnant, they need to be financially independent, for example, and not in school. 

Then you can keep some condoms in an obvious place at home all jumbled up so he assumes you'd never miss one.


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## Rayr44 (6 mo ago)

My son asked me ‘dad, why is it important to use a condom during sex?’
I said. “Usually, it’s to avoid answering questions like this.”


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## bdivita (Nov 28, 2021)

Lotsofheart73 said:


> I definitely would not blame yourself. No matter how much you talk to them or try to be understanding, they can still be very impulsive and driven by the moment.
> Also, there are many teen boys who believe it when girlfriend says they are on birth control. Hard to get yteen boy to realize that teen girls are extremely fertile. If one pill is missed at the right (wrong) time a pregnancy can result. They get “in the moment” and don’t want to stop for the inconvenience of a condom.
> Being a parent to teens is hard.


I know, it really is that easy for something like this to happen but I still feel in disbelief that this happened to my son of all people. Sure I know some other kids his age where it wouldn’t surprise me as much. I’m not biased just because he’s my son I know he knew better and he can admit that much. He’s normally pretty responsible for a 16-year-old boy. The baby is here now. I’m officially a grandma. He still has no concept about how much his life has changed from one impulsive decision. Everyone had an opinion too, about him, about my parenting. Oh well, we have bigger things to worry about now. The baby did not go home with her mother. The baby came home with us. Nothing I ever imagined happening. I don’t think that me talking to my son about sex or giving him condoms is what caused this to happen. I don’t think not doing those things would have changed the outcome.


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## Poroshok (1 mo ago)

I think it's a great idea. When my children grow up and become teenagers, I will buy them condoms. However, before they receive them, I will talk to them about sex education, and I think that this will also benefit them. I generally believe that sex should only be in condoms, as this is the safest contraception, especially now there are online pharmacies like www.mcdaidpharmacy.ie. I can order them anytime and bring them to me quickly. You don't even have to go to the pharmacy yourself.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

Poroshok said:


> I think it's a great idea. When my children grow up and become teenagers, I will buy them condoms.


Are you going to give them any guidance, or just hand them a box and say "have at it"?


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## mwise003 (1 mo ago)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Honestly the evil side of me wants him to experience the awkwardness of buying them himself. I remember the first time I bought condoms the check out girl looked at me and said, looks like it's going to be a good weekend huh.


My son would get them free at his high school and then sell them to other students for $5 each. 
Needless to say, the administration who handed them out thought he was very active!


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

mwise003 said:


> My son would get them free at his high school and then sell them to other students for $5 each.
> Needless to say, the administration who handed them out thought he was very active!


I love his entrepreneurial spirit.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

A friend of mine put her bipolar teen on a form of birth control at 13 after finding out that a guy way across town had been sending Uber to pick her up in the middle of the night. She's a couple of years older now and having sex regularly with her boyfriend. Teens are often having sex so you need to be sure they don't get pregnant from it. It's less of a tragedy that teens are having sex and it is if they get pregnant.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

@happyhusband0005 ,
I'm sure you'll do fine whichever path you take. You seem a thoughtful man and I can't imagine that doesn't transfer to your parenting.


I didn't treat my sons like naive little flowers and told them as much truth as I was able to. I expected a lot from them and that included responsibility for their actions.

Sex is an adult activity and I told my boys that I would never pay one dime for them to act like men.

When my youngest was on the cusp of 16, I found out he was having sex.

I asked him if he was ready to quit school, get a job and support a woman and child. I asked him if he was ready for being a dad.

His eyes got the size of dinner plates and he vigorously shook his head no.

I told him to look at all the earth. Every human on our blue corner of the universe came from the adult activity he was participating in.

Regardless of countermeasures, young ladies were getting pregnant everyday. I told him a couple of real world examples of highschool girls who had become mothers despite being told they couldn't or wouldn't get pregnant if they were careful.

I then reiterated that I would never pay for another man to have sex. I told him if he was enough of a man to bed a woman, he would be responsible for paying for his own sex like any other man throughout history.

I also reassured him I would always love him regardless and I would love and support my grandchildren but I refuse to treat a man like a child.

Boys better not be having sex. Men can pay for their own sex.

He has given me 4 grandchildren to date. The first one came along when he was 23 and he has provided for all of them with his own strength and I love being a grandfather.😉

I think it's important to treat people old enough to engage in adult activities like adults and give advice along those lines.

I also see a lot of infantilism of young adults being promoted these days.

When our country was founded, one of our ambassador/emissaries was 14.

More should be expected and required of our young people in this barbarian's opinion.

Young people often live up to expectations and it's a loss that not much good or worthy is being expected of them these days.

Just my three cents.


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