# No money, no happiness ( just promises)



## "Unworthy" (Dec 18, 2011)

Well, I have not been able to really have much from my husband. He has worked. Not consistently and I have worked and lost jobs. I am holding up all the bills. He is home trying to start a business and I have to help start it. I have rent to pay, phone, child support, and other expenses with no help. Trying to get our child back because of his biological mom made allegations that he molested his daugther sexually and now we have to go to court, attend visitation and pay child support. He feels like there is no point to get a job because of the economy and no one would hire him right now. god bless me with a job immediately after i loss my job. Yet still, inspite of all that is going on, I am left to handle everything on my own. I haven't received anything from him in i don't know how long. I am working and dealing with a lot of other things. I can't even get anything done for myself. I feel like I am working when I don't have to? I feel like I should be compensated for all that I have done....I shouldn't have to go through.....I AM TIRED!!!! I AM BEGINNING TO NOT FEEL HIM ANYMORE....AM I WRONG FOR THE WAY I FEEL? AM I WRONG BECAUSE I SAID THAT I SHOULD BE COMPENSATED? 

PLEASE, I WANT SOME HONEST, HONEST FEED BACK!!!! I NEED TO KNOW!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Who do you feel should compensate you?

Is this business you husband is trying to start using money you need to live on?

Does he have the skills to pull off a business? Does he have any customers?


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## "Unworthy" (Dec 18, 2011)

I feel like I should be compensated for all the rent and food money and all the money that he should've been spending on me. I am a help mate and shouldn't be the main bread winner. I don't want to be stepping in all the time. He want me to help him with his business on top of rent, phones, help fixing cars, paying for bus fares. I don't get any help. He said that he would give me the money back after he start making money...
He never owned a business. He says that he feels like he can pull it off. He have 12 years of customer service and sales. No customers....he has potential customers....I DON'T KNOW...


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## "Unworthy" (Dec 18, 2011)

If i am expecting compensation, i asked him for a percentage of his check. Am i wrong? Shouldn't i get what i deserve of what i haven't gotten in so long?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

You are in a tough situation. 

I know a woman who is in a same situation like you. 

She is exhausting herself to support her husband. The man doesn't want to work. Looks for all the excuses not to work. 

Why doesn't she divorce him? That's my question. 

If he thinks that he can't find a job in this kind of economy, how come he thinks he will have a successful business in this kind of economy? If he wants to start a business, how much investment is that going to be. And if the business fails, is he going to be in huge debt?


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## "Unworthy" (Dec 18, 2011)

Well i have stuck by him when he was working and not working. Now being without work for 2 years + is taking a toll on me. He promised that once he get his business going, he is going to give me what I deserve. I asked for a percentage of his check which is 30% and then i went to 20%. He said that he shouldn't have to pay back his wife if the business is suppose to be helping his family in the long run? How will he ever do all for his business if i he has to pay me money back for all that he didn't do. I am tired of not having with out and I am taking a lot. He is too, but it's only one income and I am not getting any support. Shouldn't I feel the way that i do? Am I wrong for asking for a percentage? 

I don't have respect or confidence that he is going to take care of me.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

You are his wife, so you are not wrong to ask him for financial help.


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## "Unworthy" (Dec 18, 2011)

I just don't know what to do!!!! I am just unhappy!!! I am asking for happiness but it is taking forever and day just to be happy for just one second!!!


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## i.bellagardner (Nov 10, 2011)

Actually, true love doesn't really need money. As long as love conquers all, you should take care of them because you love them.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

"Unworthy" said:


> If i am expecting compensation, i asked him for a percentage of his check. Am i wrong? Shouldn't i get what i deserve of what i haven't gotten in so long?


Is he getting unemployment? If not where does he get a check from?

And yes he should be putting his money, all of his money into the household.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

This reminds me of the stories I heard of my grandparents in New York during the 'great depression' in the early 1900's. My grandmother told me that they were blessed. They had 5 daughters. My grandfather would get a job, work for a while. Then he'd get layed off. By the grace of God my grandmother would land a job on exactly the same day my grandfather got laid off. Somehow, this happened all through the depression. So at least one fo them was working at all times. Sometimes both of them. This is how they go through the depression.

A wife is not a help mate in the way you think. You seem to think that it's his responsibility to support the family and your money is your money. Nope.. by law you are each responsible for supporting each other and your family.

Your husband does not owe you a dime in compensation for you supporting him while he's out of work any more than you would owe him compensation if you were not working and being a SAHM.

However, your husband is wrong too. Every penny he makes should go into the family bank account. All bills should be paid, all food bought, etc. After all of that the two of you should sit down and decide what to do with whatever is left over.

It's tough, it know. I'm the sole support of my family.. have been for a long time. I won't go into why but it gets me down sometimes too. But I'm a big girl and know that I am also responsible.

As for your husband's business.. that's hard to judge. We'd need to know more about it to even start to assess if it's worth putting money into at this time with the economy the way it is.

Has he tried things like Craigslist to list his skills, to do yard work, etc? I have a young guy who helps me with my yard. He says that every summer, when college lets out he advertised on craigs list for 2 weeks. after that he's working full time all summer doing odd jobs... painting, yard, work, etc. I wonder if your husband could do that.


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## FourtyPlus (Dec 18, 2011)

Most people go through financial hardships these days, you are not alone. 

Maybe you are mostly upset about your husband not doing enough to earn a living. How serious is he about the homebased business?


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

Have you faith in him that his business will take off.
Does it have a lot of start up costs. I am not sure what you mean by compensation and why you argue about it when there is no money yet. What choice do you really have at the moment. I would stop arguing and be more positive and helpful in your husbands business. Sometimes a wife makes all the difference.


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## anitagrace2 (Dec 28, 2011)

real love dont need money.if your lover want money from you then she or he is not your true love...


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

Seriously people? You don't need money, just love. Only young people believe that. Almost everyone else knows it takes money to live. Unless some of that love pays the rent.

OP, I think you have the right to be upset. I do think both men and women should contribute. He's not contributing. It isn't the time to start a business in this economy. He may not get a job he likes, but he can go to retail or something like that. In TX, there are plenty of jobs. Maybe it isn't that way everyplace, but I think there are jobs for those who apply themselves to looking. 

I would tell him that you will not support starting a business right now, and he needs to get a job. Unless you see real effort, I would consider divorcing him.

I speak from experience. When I was younger, I married a man who couldn't keep a job and never wanted to work. He was a drain on me until I divorced him. I also dated a guy who could never keep a job and expected me and his parents to support him (at 30 years old). I learned the hard way not to even date someone like this. If I can work everyday, so can everyone else. I have little patience for people who can't seem to work or keep a job. It's called responsibility, and all adults need to learn it. This applies to both men and women. 

Call me harsh if you want, but I have dealt with it two times in my life. NEVER EVER will do it again. Those types will drain you and then move on to the next person. They always feel someone else owes them something. No one owes us anything.


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## lost soul (May 20, 2009)

I was ready every word in your topic up until you wrote "I don't have respect or confidence that he is going to take care of me." and I was WOW , , I didn't no to feel hurt for you or sad for him but if that's how you truly feel then it's over. As a man to not have the love, trust, respect of my woman well I wouldn't be a man in her eyes. How would a guy live with that. 

You also wrote "PLEASE, I WANT SOME HONEST, HONEST FEED BACK!!!! I NEED TO KNOW! " If your dude knows you feel like this(how could he not) and is cool with it, , , then he isn't a man. There is more ways to take care of a woman than $$$ yeah this economy is bad and if your complaining about him then he must not be pulling his weight around the house. You already know your answer the hardest part is doing it.


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