# I'm Leaving Her; I Am Horrible



## EntombedDeftones (Mar 2, 2021)

Years of lying, alcohol abuse, porn abuse... eventual cheating. She's still my best friend; my only real friend. I was there when her mother passed from cancer. While her dad drinks himself to death and scares her. I am unhappy and think of suicide or ways to get out. I have been on auto-pilot for my life since parents divorced at age 4. I have let others make my choices without admitting it. My wife brought up marriage and kids and I had never thought about any of that before meeting her. So I thought, I love her and yeah that sounds great.
I don't want marriage or kids and better to admit that now than when we have kids. This is going to destroy her... I need to do this for me though. Otherwise one day she is gonna walk in and find me hanging from a rope. I just need someone to tell me I'm not crazy...


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Your not crazy.... your just a person void a direction at a tough place in life. Your not alone and many people have walked that road before you. There are options out there but understand this is an online forum and not a professional council. There is hope but you have to help yourself seek it out. Finding your professional help by your own hands instead of listening to what others tell you is your first step to getting off other people autopilot. Personal accountability isn’t always easy but it will make you respect yourself.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

You need urgent help for your depression, and you need it BEFORE you make any life altering decisions.

The problem isn't your wife, it's your depression.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Definitely need to check yourself in the hospital before it’s too late.
How you’re feeling can often be fixed.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Yeah fix your depression first, then you can decide how you want to move forward.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

EntombedDeftones said:


> Years of lying, alcohol abuse, porn abuse... eventual cheating. She's still my best friend; my only real friend. I was there when her mother passed from cancer. While her dad drinks himself to death and scares her. I am unhappy and think of suicide or ways to get out. I have been on auto-pilot for my life since parents divorced at age 4. I have let others make my choices without admitting it. My wife brought up marriage and kids and I had never thought about any of that before meeting her. So I thought, I love her and yeah that sounds great.
> I don't want marriage or kids and better to admit that now than when we have kids. This is going to destroy her... I need to do this for me though. Otherwise one day she is gonna walk in and find me hanging from a rope. I just need someone to tell me I'm not crazy...


What is your favorite hobby?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

_Death is guaranteed, life is not.
Guaranteeing a half century more (in your instance) is likely doable.
_
If you insist......_
Put off this thinking about killing yourself, one year in advance, every year forward, until that last day you do not wake up.

Leave this dying to some other Fate, embrace life.

While Life is thought short, Death is forever.

Pain does not arrive every day at your house, it forgets your name sometimes.

A day or two feeling low, is still higher than lying six feet under.

That Creator gave you life, he will take it back when HE needs it.
Worry not, HE will not forget that promise.

Fate is not yours to destroy, only to tease a bit!.


King Brian-_


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

The thing about wrongdoing...
It can end, it can find itself only in your past.

Will it?
Will it so.


_Are Dee-_


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

Geebranz said:


> Don't. You can be better
> 
> 
> 
> marriage counseling cedar rapids


Hacker alert .... don’t click the link !!


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