# PTSD from marriage? Stbxw is being treated, what?



## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

I was told that my stbxw mental health issues are from PTSD from our marriage? Her general anxiety disorder, depression, and her irresponsible behaviors after leaving are a direct result from our marriage?

I was baffled, we weren't even big fighters, no yelling matches etc. 

Is this a legal strategy, she is being treated by a psychiatrist and psychologist 

Wth?

Anyone heard of such a thing?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Linguist said:


> I was told that my stbxw mental health issues are from PTSD from our marriage? Her general anxiety disorder, depression, and her irresponsible behaviors after leaving are a direct result from our marriage?
> 
> I was baffled, we weren't even big fighters, no yelling matches etc.
> 
> ...


We hear about it all the time:

An Overview of the Drama Triangle


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## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

Is there any credibility to this in court, like why she isn't working, etc


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Linguist said:


> Is there any credibility to this in court, like why she isn't working, etc


No way


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Linguist said:


> Is there any credibility to this in court, like why she isn't working, etc


Doubt it.

My best friend supposedly has PTSD from her EX (I get it he's abusive) but her therapist wouldn't go there in the divorce because its impossible to prove the exact source.

I have PTSD but it never stopped me from working nor did it my friend.

You need to discuss this with an attorney just to get reassurance regardless.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I believe a turnip could find a shrink that would give it a diagnosis of PTSD.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Well, that's pretty much what the psychologist ruled in my case. I was in a coma for two weeks, so a neuropsychologist had to spend a lot of time sorting out which problems were due to hypoxia and which were due to extreme stress. My situation does get complicated because my estrange husband was embezzling money from our business--among other things. He finally destroyed the business and I have endured way to many hours in court (without an attorney). Since my occupation after college was that of an accountant, my estranged husband ruined me there. Too say my estranged husband caused extreme stress is an understatement.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Given that Linguist was the spouse on TAM attempting to salvage the marriage, the idea that he's given her PTSD is humorous.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I'm just wondering what testing has been done on Linguist wife. Also, what treatment is she pursuing? Perhaps there is something fishy going on. Linguist, have the seen the actual report?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

827Aug said:


> I'm just wondering what testing has been done on Linguist wife. Also, what treatment is she pursuing? Perhaps there is something fishy going on. Linguist, have the seen the actual report?


That's a really good point.

His lawyer could subpeona the medical records on which the claim is based.

I bet I know what he'd get back... other than excuses.


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## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

Hi guys,

I have not seen the report. I was told by my MIL weeks ago she was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, depression, and add. Today, out of anger, MIL to,d me she had PSTD, and I was very surprised to hear this. My response was (after being told this is all my fault) that I had nothing to do with her decisions since she left 8 months ago. I said you can't blame me for her running around, not paying her bills, drug use, and spending spree. To me, it's just one more hard to believe bizarre implication. My lawyer begged me to go after her back in Feb/March when she had a break down and went on an anti psychotic, klonipin, and Ativan in addition to her regular anti depressants. During that time I co parented with her parents.

I have my dd 4 days of every week and I'm told they have now changed my stbxw media to something new. I didn't want to go after her during her crisis as I was hoping she would get it together. I'm just not that kind of guy to exploit. But she has made very irresponsible decisions regarding parenting and doesnt share any information about my dd with me. On top of that, she acts very odd and somewhat, just strange in things she tells my dd. 

So I question her judgment around safety and parenting, her parents bailed her out twice in the last 5 months to the tune of 6 or 7k$ for her not paying her bills. Now she works like two days a week and her parents are paying for her lawyer and everything else. 

She is asking for alimony, CS, and anything she can. We were married 2.6 years. Have I been frustrated at times, sure. When someone deliberately lies and keeps you in the dark or makes irresponsible decisions around safety, yes. Have I ever threatened her, hit her, etc of course not. 

I have no idea what to think, it's someone new evy week. I feel like I'm in some horror movie watching y life from outside


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Sounds like you're her scapegoat of the week.

Judge would never buy it.

Hell, she sounds like my ex-torturer. Always looking for something to blame that isn't herself.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Linguist, it sounds as though you are the one who could be diagnosed with PTSD because of what she is doing. With that string of medications, it really is no surprise she has mental disorders. So, were the tests conducted while she was on medication? I doubt at this point the psychologist even knows what her TRUE diagnosis is.

What is your attorney saying about this? I honestly don't think she has a leg to stand on. Her actions/behavior clearly say she brought all of this down on herself. Unlike me, she has had a choice.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SkyHigh said:


> Sounds like you're her scapegoat of the week.
> 
> Judge would never buy it.
> 
> Hell, she sounds like my ex-torturer. Always looking for something to blame that isn't herself.


Damn... you've come quite a ways.

Congrats.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

> general anxiety disorder, depression, and add


The triple crown of designer diagnoses. 

None of which instill irresponsibility in the average human female. 

Anti-psychotic? Clonazepam? Lorazepam?

She's being treated for psychotic depression or severe paranoia. 

ADD doesn't fit those medications.


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## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

Those are what her GP put her on for several months before telling her she needed to see a professional


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

I'm not buying your MIL's words for a millisecond.

PTSD doesn't do what she is doing to herself. What she is doing to herself is making you the point of her eventual ruin. It's unfair and incredibly juvenile.


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## Awakening2012 (Apr 13, 2012)

I just love how the walk-away spouses of both genders insist on blaming all their unhappiness and "trauma"on the left behind spouse and the marriage. We drove them away and caused them trauma -- gave them no choice but to leave for their own self-presevation don't cha know? I, for one, can't wait until my STBXH no longer has me and our marriage to blame all his negative feelings on. Then he'll either have to finally look himself in the mirror, or else just repeat the same thing with his next partner (or rot in his lonely, angry self-pitying bitterness).

Best of Luck to You, - A12


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SkyHigh said:


> I'm not buying your MIL's words for a millisecond.
> 
> PTSD doesn't do what she is doing to herself. What she is doing to herself is making you the point of her eventual ruin. It's unfair and incredibly juvenile.


Ah, but you're now a black belt expert on that particular dance.


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Ah, but you're now a black belt expert on that particular dance.


And I have the callouses on my feet to prove it.


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## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

The only thing I know about pstd is what I've read and been told regarding veterans. From the research I've done regarding divorce, it's kind of like accusing someone of narcissism. Everyone possesses some attributes of it to minor degrees but in divorce everything is embellished. 

The only thing I can think of that she has on me are phone recordings that I was unaware of, where I was angry and called her an a-hole and that I thought her behavior was disgusting. Short of that, I've done everything I can to invite her to collaborate around money and our child.

I also admonished her in mediation over her parenting: sending dd to school in dirty clothes, not giving back toys which upset my dd, not following through, not attending dr appointments, not giving dd antibiotics when she was very sick, and keeping me in the dark about all info regarding my dd, on purpose. I didn't yell or anything. 

Idk how phone recordings of a frustrated spouse come off or if that will reinforce her pstd emotional abuse claims. I can make the same. 

Her running around, money spending sprees, instability, and mental health as well as lack of work I don't think can be attributed to me. 

Our exchanges are like this: she calls me the other day, tells me she got state insurance and I no longer have to pay dd insurance (this will send CS and alimony through the roof) then she told me a few things about my dd. I said, this is good, this is nice, this is the first time you've called me to discuss and share info about our child, please keep it up. It's the first time, try and stick with it, if you want to cp and joint custody you have to share info and communicate. She replies with, well you've been CP with my parents and if you didn't talk to me like this, I would. I said, no no no, cut the sh!t, this is not about me, it's a simple phone call or email, it costs you nothing, and it's not about me. You've deliberately not shared info, my request to you is to share info every week. You never reply to emails about questions regarding important issues and the only time I hear from you is about money. Then she gets off the phone. 

I filed for temp full custody in reply to her request for jc. Mainly because I do think she is sick and does not understand how to put others first, namely my dd, she has a very distorted sense of reality, where she doesn't see how her behavior has consequences to others, she is entirely irresponsible, and this all equates to safety issues with my dd. this week at the hospital she wouldn't stay the 15 minutes post vaccine to look for any reactions from two vaccinations, standard stuff. She wouldn't accept my knowledge of my dd being allergic to amoxicillin until the doctor stepped in and said, let's not risk it as reactions can be serious and there alternatives for antibiotics. She just argued it, for no reason, just to be right regardless of information. She drove with dd while taking klonipin, Ativan, and seroquel until MIL and I put our foot down.she just has a major deficit in self sacrifice and judgement which is what parenting is all about and her anger irrefutably exceeds her love for my dd or what's best for the child

Any insights?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Why are you trying to reason with an unreasonable person?


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## SkyHigh (Jun 17, 2012)

Hate to say it, buddy....but this is fruitless.

She can't be reasoned with. She's basically a child stamping her feet until she gets her way.

Don't give it to her.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Will your attorney be subpoenaing her pharmacies for medical records? Some of her behavior sounds more like that of a prescription drug addict than a person with PTSD. I base that comment solely on some of the patients which came to our pharmacy with irrational behavior though. If that's the case, forget having a rational adult conversation.


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## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

SkyHigh said:


> Hate to say it, buddy....but this is fruitless.
> 
> She can't be reasoned with. She's basically a child stamping her feet until she gets her way.
> 
> Don't give it to her.



Funny thing about that, my daughter stamped her foot several weekends ago and I said "what was that?" if you're upset use your words, you're a big girl now, big for
S don't stamp their feet. I had not see her do this before, she is 4 years old btw.

She responds "momma does it" I said she does? Next time momma yells at out and stamps her feet, ask momma or anyone else to please not speak to you that way, its not nice, and it hurts your feelings. Then tell momma she is too old to be stamping her foot.

Last weekend she came back and said mom yelled at her, I said did you say what we discussed, she said yes. I asked her, did she stamp her foot? She said yes. I said what did she do after you told her not to speak to you that way and she was too old to stamp her feet

She said, she had a big sigh


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## Linguist (Nov 24, 2012)

827Aug said:


> Will your attorney be subpoenaing her pharmacies for medical records? Some of her behavior sounds more like that of a prescription drug addict than a person with PTSD. I base that comment solely on some of the patients which came to our pharmacy with irrational behavior though. If that's the case, forget having a rational adult conversation.


Most definitely 

Her strategy seems clear. Claim PTSD so she doesn't have to work, claim I have a personality disorder or something so she can get my therapists notes etc. and blame me for everything

There is no low she won't go, I continue to be surprised, and I continue to be surprised I am surprised still. Every week it's something more bizarre, crazy, and extreme


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