# How to support husband in his job search



## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

Hello guys-

My husband has been struggling to find a job that is a good fit (stimulating work environment, good work/life balance, etc.). It has been hit and miss for about four months. 

My husband is concerned that I will lose respect for him. I assured him that this is not the case...that I value him and all that he has done and is trying to do...

Guys- If you have ever been between jobs, what is it you need from your wife to show she supports you?


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## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

More blow-jobs.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

cons said:


> Hello guys-
> 
> My husband has been struggling to find a job that is a good fit (stimulating work environment, good work/life balance, etc.). It has been hit and miss for about four months.
> 
> ...


All guys are different. So hard to say. I would think that a knock out of the park would be to tell him continually you love him and know he is trying. Also nothing wrong with asking what you can do to assist with job hunt if anything. Just keep letting him know he's your man and hopefully he will appreciate that. Many of us don't get support like this


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

Thanks Wolf-

I think I need to ramp up my appreciation for him. I know I feel it...but perhaps I fail in verbalizing it enough... During this search he struggles with believing his negative voices sometimes (afraid he won't measure up or something)...I want to be able to counter that...to let him know I think the world of him... to tell him he is my hero.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

cons said:


> Thanks Wolf-
> 
> I think I need to ramp up my appreciation for him. I know I feel it...but perhaps I fail in verbalizing it enough... During this search he struggles with believing his negative voices sometimes (afraid he won't measure up or something)...I want to be able to counter that...to let him know I think the world of him... to tell him he is my hero.


Well sounds to me like he is a lucky man. Hope he apprciates it. I would like just once to be with a woman who will stick through things big and small with me. That feeling of support must be awesome


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I'd prefer just general love and support, and a one-time offer to help with whatever I might need. Continually offering or asking how things are going can seem like pressure or criticism, and questions should only be asked if it seems like he's not making an effort. If he wants and likes other kinds of support and encouragement or confidence building, by all means do whatever you can along those lines.


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## Methuselah (Nov 24, 2014)

cons said:


> I want to be able to counter that...to let him know I think the world of him... to tell him he is my hero.


Nothing says "I think the world of you" and "you are my hero"

than a blow-job he doesn't have to beg for.


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## Aspydad (Oct 17, 2013)

I know that it can be very traumatic to lose a job. This has not happened to me, but I have known people who have gone through this and have been the one to hire people who have been out of work for some time.

I assume that your husband has received professional help in preparing his resume and is consistent in looking for positions to apply for. Also, I assume that your husband is following up with all companies where has submitted his resume. He must be proactive.

The key, however, is controlling his attitude and emotions - which is so hard to do when you are out of work. I will tell you, that when a person comes to me for an interview, I can tell within one minute (maybe two) if he is confident, happy, positive, and most importantly - truly desires to work for my company. If the person has this, I can overlook the layoff as I know what happens in this world with people and companies.

Having a supportive wife is probably one of the main requirements for this. You need to love him more than ever!! Be understanding when he is down; and be encouraging when opportunities arise. Because- it is going to be 90% his attitude and 10% does he have the qualifications (because he most likely would not have got the interview - if he was not qualified to start with.)

Sounds easy - but it is not. When someones Ego has been struck - it is so hard to ignore and keep doing things to move forward. In the end - if your husband focus' on this and perseveres, he will get a new job and he will stronger in the long run.

Good Luck.


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## LaundryMan (Mar 17, 2015)

1. Call my wife.

2. Ask what she did when I was searching for my present job.

3. Don't do that.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

Aspydad-

Thank you for the great feedback! You're right in that my ability to support him fully and be enthusiastic in his endeavors can make a big difference. 

For example, last night I was a little quiet early in the evening...mainly just decompressing from my work day...

...because of the general stress my husband has been feeling, his first response to my quietness was that I was unhappy. 

This gave me the opportunity to reassure him.. to tell him how important he his, that I need him and want him. It ended up being a very good evening...

Then this morning I helped him get ready for his interview by printing off some copies of his resume and giving him encouraging words. 

This whole experience has grown a lot in me...I am slow to verbalize my thoughts/feelings in the moment often. I process internally and sometimes while I have endearing and encouraging thoughts about my husband all of the time...I have been remiss in expressing them to him. Hopefully I will continue to improve in this area.

Thank you!


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

cons said:


> Hello guys-
> 
> My husband has been struggling to find a job that is a good fit (stimulating work environment, good work/life balance, etc.). It has been hit and miss for about four months.
> 
> ...


What kind of support would I want from my wife?

Exactly what you are doing! fortunate man.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Between jobs? that's a lifestyle for me. 

I work for myself, so I work by the job. each job has it's own life, deadline, $ amount, et. lasts anywhere from 2 days to one year.

Does he have skills that would enable him to do contract work, or is he set on a 9-5 salaried job?


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

I think you have the situation well in hand. Keep with your good ideas.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

I really appreciate a forum such as TAM...

I partly posted to make sure that I had the perspective that would be the most supportive...but it was also a means for me to release my anxieties (writing things down helps me focus objectively)...I didn't want any anxieties I had to feed my husbands emotions.

Thank you


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## MarriedTex (Sep 24, 2010)

Methuselah said:


> Nothing says "I think the world of you" and "you are my hero"
> 
> than a blow-job he doesn't have to beg for.


Actions speak louder than words. Take Meth's sage counsel to heart.


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## cons (Aug 13, 2013)

No worries on the sexual side of things....both my husband and I are HD's (our top love language is touch), so I love to focus on him in that manner.

ETA: Sorry Methuselah...I wasn't disregarding your input (it was very good feedback)...just wasn't prepared to share that much about myself


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