# Toxic mom-in-law



## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

Has anyone had experience with a horrible mother-in-law? Not the stereotypical joke, but the kind that you figure out after everything falls apart, was you and your spouses main problem? 
She lived near or with us the entire time and before(at my spouse's request).

After a little time of freedom I can see how she manipulates situations and people. Lies to your face and behind your back. Creates an atmosphere of dread for those living around her. 

I can see why my stbx has not attempted to reconcile:
1.her 
2.her mom's poisoned mind and heart
(I heard her telling her it would never work one night.) 

Everything is about her(meaning mom), it sickens me to see what could have been a lovely, smart, strong woman treated like a little girl, but doing grown-up things and being made to feel subservient while being denigrated by someone that should be a nurturer. she will then swoop in to her defense. It amazes me how well you can treat two people and they either ignore it all and don't defend you or they refuse to remember it. Unfortunately, her mom also had influence over me for a while and made things rough for her daughter. After all was said and done she flipped on me in a matter of days. 

The part that gets me the most, is how she claims to see it, but gives in half way into admitting what is reality. 

Any thoughts, personal experience, or advice?
Btw I learned my lesson already never again


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Agast, 
I know what you mean even though my situation is nowhere as bad as yours was.

My MIL systematically (because of her now dead husband) lost all of her friends. My wife's two other siblings are never around to help the MIL with anything and actually moved about 2 hours away so it all falls in my wife's lap.

My MIL is retired and is at my house almost every day until after she gets fed dinner. My wife will often sit and eat with her leaving me to dine alone most evenings during the week.

If we go out for dinner, the MIL will say that wherever we go is fine, she's not picky. The truth is she's very picky and complains about everything!

I have even told my wife that if her mom ever moved in with us, ther's be a good chance that I would move out and I hope that they'll be very happy together!


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

Toffer said:


> Agast,
> I know what you mean even though my situation is nowhere as bad as yours was.
> 
> My MIL systematically (because of her now dead husband) lost all of her friends. My wife's two other siblings are never around to help the MIL with anything and actually moved about 2 hours away so it all falls in my wife's lap.
> ...


I always thought it was supposed to be the husband's mom that made the W feel bad, not her own mother. You more or less get what I mean though. I wish things wern't like they are for me, but man, I am glad to be away from her mom(and her in many ways).


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