# Resentment



## bmore2016 (May 7, 2016)

Hi all,
New to this whole thing but just need to vent and possibly receive some unbiased input. I'm 31 with one child from a previous relationship. My now spouse and I have been together for almost 7 years, on and off, but recently married (Nov 16). My issues is I'm starting to resent him. I can start by saying he doesn't work, barely helps around the house but does help out with my son, which I extremely appreciate because it saves me expenses in childcare and just having someone to co-parent with is a blessing. I work full time, pay all the bills and do the majority of the household duties. I guess I'm surprised at the amount of resentment I'm beginning to feel because it has always been like this with us. I've always been the responsible one, the one to plan and stay on top of things and he's always just kinda been there. I recently made a career change and started making more money then I did, not a large amount by any means, but more than what I was used to, maybe this has some effect on my feelings?. I just don't know why am I feeling this now? Possibly because the title "married" and "Mr & Mrs" is attached to us now? Has anyone ever experienced this anytime into their marriage? Or could this be the beginning of the end for mine?


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

There will always be a negative stigma with a stay at home dad. Especially with other men, we seem to think there is no honor in a guy doing that. I like that society has deemed it more worthy, however, the stay at home job is a job. It's not a sit around and watch TV and play video games time (though, that is definitely a perk).

**** should get done. There are no questions about it. You have every right to harbor resentment. He has it easy. Oh, he takes care of your son? You made him a free plaything. He probably loves it. 

Make a charts. Tell him if he doesn't have a job, this is what has to get done. Tell him you are sick of his **** and if he doesn't contribute to the family, then gtfo.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Did he work before you got married and then quit once you got married or was he unemployed before you got married. If so then you knew this and married him so it's not like he pulled a bait and switch on you. He should be doing all of the household chores, cleaning, laundry, cooking etc since he is the SAHD. He should be working, even if it's a part time job. It will be good for him. Have you told him you would like him to get a job? Meanwhile he needs to step up his house duties, you shouldn't have to work all day and then come home and continue working while he sits and does nothing, especially since your son is in school all day.

You shouldn't be thinking about divorce right now. Getting a divorce will have a huge impact on your child since he has been his primary caretaker.


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## FrazzledSadHusband (Jul 3, 2014)

Does he know? Have you discussed anything with him? Are you having a covert contract with him? You are working and EXPECTING him to do something, when it doesn't happen you get upset.


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## Running Mom (Aug 13, 2013)

My husband has been a stay-at-home-dad for over 10 years. I don't resent him for the time he spends with our kids. I honestly feel like they are all the better for it. What I do resent is him suggesting buying something that I know we cannot afford. When I say no, he gets all pissy. Seriously? If you want to buy more stuff or save up for a trip or whatever and you don't like that I don't think we can afford it, then get a job! It also bothers me when he tries to push me to get a higher-paying job. Oh really? Can I? Can I got get a job that will likely be more demanding and probably cause me to be away from home more so that you can continue to stay home and hang out with the kids?


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

It's been said many times that women marry men expecting them to chance and men marry women expecting them not to. Both often end up disappointed.

Had you ever discussed what you each wanted your lives to be after getting married?


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