# Do you orgasm through penetration or hands/toys?



## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I was having a talk with a friend today and he said most women don't orgasm through penetration unless the man's penis reaches G point and that is very rare.
Given that I'm a virgin, to me that was quite a surprise and made me a bit sad and left me wondering...

He said penetration helps in turning on the woman but the orgasm is reached through the help of hand[rubbing the clitoris] while penetrating, or just the hand only [without penetration].
And he said most men don't know anything about foreplay, clitoris rubbing during sex, therefore women don't usually orgasm. 

I thought penetration was the key to reach orgasm. Apparently I was wrong.

How is it for you?


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Most (The vast majority) women I`ve been with clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm.

My wife is the same way but we`re able to get that clitoral stimulation through penetration.

She will occasionally orgasm vaginally but`s its a rarity and she is always surprised by those vaginal orgasms.

Says she prefers clitoral orgasms.

Edit:
Any male who is unaware of the existence and purpose of the clitoris in this day and age is in desperate need of an internet connection.

Edit 2:
And a flashlight.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

I can orgasm with just penetration, each woman is unique though. Best thing to do is masturbate with a dildo and try different things I will say that no man will be able to please you until you know how to please yourself...this I have found from many of my female friends. And hence why my aunt gave me the book our bodies ourselves as a teen. Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

He was right. Orgasm from penetration alone is rare. Usually, it does require clitoral stimulation.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

I couldn't orgasm with just penetration until my late twenties, and now that's all I need to orgasm but its not the same as a clitoral orgasm.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I can O from penetration...occassionally.
Always when we are having a sex mararthon and I've already cum several times.

And I reckon it feels (slighty) different.
Not as intense as clitoral but a warmer wave that comes over me.

Yum!


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I think it would be a good idea to learn what you like through masterbation.

if you can't give yourself one how in the world are you going to comunicate what you like when you do finaly have sex.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

waiwera said:


> I can O from penetration...occassionally.
> Always when we are having a sex mararthon and I've already cum several times.


These are the exact conditions that are met on the rare occasions my wife orgasms vaginally.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Ummm.... I was able to tell my husband what I liked without masturbating. Didn't start masturbating until a couple years ago and haven't done it in a few months. Yes, you can tell him what works for you if you masturbate, but you can do it even without. Just a LITTLE easier if you have.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

Wife always needs clitoral stimulation......!! Her on top on rare occasions, but the minute clitoral stimulation comes into play she can orgasm in 5 minutes almost Everytime
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Clitoral stimulation does nothing whatsoever for my wife.

But she is highly orgasmic in our sexual relationship. She can cum off penetration, vaginal and anal, nipple play, breast sex, and she's even cum just giving me a blow job with no stimulation and just from the sound of my voice in phone sex.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

My wife needs indirect clitoral stimulation most of the time. Direct is too much for her, borderline painful.

To answer the OP though, yes my wife can easily O from hands alone. Just one hand doing all the right things can give her a VERY powerful orgasm.


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## Good Dog (Mar 28, 2012)

My wife needs hands or toys most of the time. When she's been watching porn or reading something ridiculous like Twilight, she'll be able to have one just with penetration, though these are also the times she calls me "Edward" in bed, so I try to avoid that.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

:rofl: oh good lord! Edward!

I'm sure I've responded on another thread about this but vaginal orgasms are all about the grinding motion baby


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## Good Dog (Mar 28, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> :rofl: oh good lord! Edward!
> 
> I'm sure I've responded on another thread about this but vaginal orgasms are all about the grinding motion baby


I realize it's funny in the telling, but when it happens it's quite the opposite.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I'm sure!!!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> :rofl: oh good lord! Edward!
> 
> I'm sure I've responded on another thread about this but vaginal orgasms are all about the grinding motion baby


We have a winner!!!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> :rofl: oh good lord! Edward!
> 
> I'm sure I've responded on another thread about this but vaginal orgasms are all about the grinding motion baby


Oh God... I just got a mental picture from that movie Drumline....when one guy was trying to explain to the other the RIGHT way to play his drum.... >.>


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Good Dog said:


> My wife needs hands or toys most of the time. When she's been watching porn or reading something ridiculous like Twilight, she'll be able to have one just with penetration, though these are also the times she calls me "Edward" in bed, so I try to avoid that.


:lol:

OMG!!! the "Edward" thing was so funny!!!!!

:smthumbup:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Edit:
> Any male who is unaware of the existence and purpose of the clitoris in this day and age is in desperate need of an internet connection.


Lmao! :rofl: For me, it's all about the lil man in the boat!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

GoodDog, tell her to call out your name!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marvel212 (May 7, 2012)

I guess I am one of the ones in the rare bunch. I can have multiple O that only get better the more they happen. I do agree with the fact that a man cant please you until you know how to please yourself. Once you know where your G spot is the easier it is to explain to the guy. I had to do a lot of couching with a fwb situtation. Once he learned it was fantastic!


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## Good Dog (Mar 28, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> GoodDog, tell her to call out your name!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah, unfortunately I'm not the main source of her excitement these days. But I'm working on it and we're getting back on track despite everything. If a shiny effeminate vampire who glitters in the sun can rile her up like that, then I know I can too.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Or maybe you could say back to her "Bella!" And then turn it into a Twilight roleplay. Personally, I prefer Jacob but that's a whole 'nother topic.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

My wife couldn't get off by clittoral stimulation unless it was a vibrator or via a lot of pressure. Some women will lay on their stomachs and press the heel of their hand around the clittoris... sort of grinding the hand with their hips. Doing this she could get off in about 30 seconds, and have many many more in the subsequent 5 minutes.

The regular licking, sucking and fingering clittoral stimulation never worked for her, but she would get off the vast majority of the time from penetration. Other women I've been with its maybe 25% of the time vaginally unless there was significant foreplay or previous orgasms that session; and like 97% of the time they'll orgasm from oral.

So I began to believe that clittoral stimulation was the way to go. However, I've found the fastest and easiest way to make a woman c*m hard is via the g-spot. Putting your middle finger and ring finger together, with your pointer and pinky out to the sides (making a "W" shape), her lying on her back, insert the joined middle/ring fingers with your palm up and press upward with those fingers... there's a fairly large surface area there that's different from the surrounding tissue and firmer with arousal. Tap that spot, or start rapidly moving your entire hand up and down and BOOM. Massive orgasms in a short time, and no disabling sensitivity... thus no reason to stop when she has a big O. Just keep at it and enjoy the screams. I love it. You can also use the thumb on the same hand or fingers on the other hand to stimulate the clit at the same time to really make her explode... but you have to be much more gentle with it and its tricky to manage the rapid hard movements of one hand with the less intense movements of the other.

Get a couple orgasms that way and I'll bet she'll be primed for an orgasm from penetration right afterwards. Its never failed me.

The awesome thing about women is the more revved up they are, the more orgasms they've had, the easier it is to get the next one. I think us men can only dream of what its like to be that wrecked and trembling.


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## Good Dog (Mar 28, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> Or maybe you could say back to her "Bella!" And then turn it into a Twilight roleplay. Personally, I prefer Jacob but that's a whole 'nother topic.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's actually great advice, and I've tried to keep that in mind. Don't resist what she wants, but go along with it so we can both benefit. Her actual role play fantasies are pretty wild though, almost more like that 50 Shades book though she hasn't read it yet. 

My mother-in-law is very into Jacob. For her the release of a Twilight movie is like the Super Bowl.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Me, too: )
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

i think vast majority of women need clit stimulation 

my wife said she never had a orgasm or vaginal orgasm (g spot) until we where together. I love to eat out my wife i eat her out all the time several times a week even when we do not have sex i do it just cause i like it. She does not have orgasm from penetration all the time ive asked her and i can tell now when she does she is honest to if i ask.

Anyhow since most women dont seem to orgasm via penetration i can see why so many are frustrated with their sex lives. I advice all men to go down on your women i do it as much as i can. My wife never complains oh but i can get her off her G spot if i use my fingers, so i will eat her out and go at her clitoris and also use my fingers to finger her and try and hit the gspot in the right way.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Fingering sounds pretty disgusting, but that's coming from someone who's never tried it before. lol.
Tonight though, I was having sex talk with a guy [on Skype] and he started fantasizing about us saying he'd like to finger me and such. For the first time in my life I was turned on by this thought.

The only way to orgasm for me is by just touching myself. I've never tried toys or anything like that and I don't know if I ever will.
The thought doesn't make me feel comfortable.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> Fingering sounds pretty disgusting, but that's coming from someone who's never tried it before. lol.


That will change. 

A good fingering is a man and a woman's best friend. They're ever erect, far more malleable, and it takes a lot of effort to tucker them out.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

jaquen said:


> That will change.
> 
> A good fingering is a man and a woman's best friend. They're ever erect, far more malleable, and it takes a lot of effort to tucker them out.


yeah, but fingering needs to come from a well-experienced guy.
For me as technically a virgin, having someone fingering me for the first time would mean a lot of responsibility from a guy's side.
He either should be great at it or he better not do it at all.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

How old are you lovelygirl?


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> How old are you lovelygirl?


24.

You're wondering why I'm still a virgin?


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Kind of. That and why you are on TAM.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Some women will lay on their stomachs and press the heel of their hand around the clittoris... sort of grinding the hand with their hips.


My wife does this on my thigh a lot. I get to help out by flexing it and moving it slightly taking her lead as she grinds. Helps that my thighs have a lot of muscle on them.

Unlike your wife though DvlsAdvc8, once my wife has gotten off a few times (often times just once) that's it. Sex is over. So I have to be careful not to get her to climax during foreplay.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> 24.
> 
> You're wondering why I'm still a virgin?


My wife was a virgin until 29. Not a big deal, when it's time it's time.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Kind of. That and why you are on TAM.


Kind of complicated. Long story short. 
I have a girl-friend who eventhough has a boyfriend, she's still dating her ex at the same time [who also has a girlfriend on the other side].
They're both living a double life and are serial cheaters. THey've always been like that. [my friend and her ex]
I've always wondered why their respective partners ARE SO DUMB that they can't even notice the cheating signs.
I got paranoid and started wondering why I'd do if the same thing happened to me.
So I started googling about cheating until I came across this board. 
And I'm thankful because I have learned a lot [although, to this day, AS FAR AS I KNOW, I have never been cheated on.]

So I'm kind of preparing myself and now I know where to rely on once I get cheated on.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> yeah, but fingering needs to come from a well-experienced guy.
> For me as technically a virgin, having someone fingering me for the first time would mean a lot of responsibility from a guy's side.
> He either should be great at it or he better not do it at all.



Well yes, but that's all sexual acts, no?



Browncoat said:


> My wife was a virgin until 29. Not a big deal, when it's time it's time.


Exactly. My sister just turned 30 this past weekend, and she's still a virgin.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am in the minority......I have a hard time orgasming from oral sex (maybe only 3 times in my life -though in the past , I woud push him away, too embarrassed).....

I crave his tool.......and that is all I've ever needed.... They say "cowgirl" is one of the easier positions for women to orgasm. My favorite is missionary...I orgasm 99% of the time........I never even realized women need some extra stimulation till I seen this in porn 3 yrs ago. Never read about it and was very surprised to learn the statistics on these things. 

His hands are masterful also....that & oral is our forplay ... 3 positions work for me ...with no extra stimulation. I discovered orgasms probably when I was like 11 yrs old, been loving them ever since. 

Sex Study Says Female Orgasm Eludes Majority of Women - ABC News



> About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone -- that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances.


Female Orgasm Facts - Surprising Facts About Orgasms - Woman's Day


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

jaquen said:


> Well yes, but that's all sexual acts, no?


yeah, right. Obviously.
And? 


I'm not sure what you're trying to say.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Browncoat said:


> My wife was a virgin until 29. Not a big deal, when it's time it's time.


I agree. 

Speaking of the righttime, here's one of my threads if you wanna have a look.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/44540-being-virgin-dealbreaker.html


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> I agree.
> 
> Speaking of the righttime, here's one of my threads if you wanna have a look.
> 
> http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/44540-being-virgin-dealbreaker.html


I remember that thread. 

I believe I added a few comments here and there. Eventually I just figured I'd said enough, but thread was pretty active for a while.


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## Fvstringpicker (Mar 11, 2012)

The intructions for this is not easy. Using the Missionary position as best as I can describe, I use my pubic bone to massage the area just below the top of her pubic bone. Think of it as kneeding biscuits. On the "in" stroke I go in low, forcing the head of my pecker into her g-spot area. In this position my pubic bone will contact just above the vagina opening. and upon completion of the in stroke, I "kneed" upward like using your palms to kneed dough. On the outward stroke, I reposition low again and drag the head of my pecker back through her g-spot area. Basically what I try do is cause the head of my pecker to put more contact on the top part of the first couple of inches of her vagina. The simple "in and out" won't do it. It takes the right amount of gentleness and finesse. She has multiple "penetration only" orgasms. Remember guys, it the motion of the ocean, not a piston in a gasoline engine.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

When I met my W, she said she had only orgasmed a few times vaginally. Rarely had more than one at a time (because she was concentrating on the clit, which is a "one and done" deal with her). Never had anyone who could find her gspot and thought it, along with female ejaculation was a myth. Now she knows differently. Very differently! The ejaculation was the hardest nut to crack, but now, any time we want her to, she can, even multiple times in the same session. She recently had her first ejaculating orgasm through intercourse for the first time. That one suprised us both, as it was all finger action to bring that about before that. My next goal is to get her to give herself one by hand. That one may be a toughie, but we'll have fun trying!

I think a lot of women THINK they're not capable, but given the right touch, a partner they trust, and are completely comfortable with (along with an open attitude and not a "I can't do that" mentality), I think many women might just surprise themselves with what they're capable of.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> So I began to believe that clittoral stimulation was the way to go. However, I've found the fastest and easiest way to make a woman c*m hard is via the g-spot. Putting your middle finger and ring finger together, with your pointer and pinky out to the sides (making a "W" shape), her lying on her back, insert the joined middle/ring fingers with your palm up and press upward with those fingers... there's a fairly large surface area there that's different from the surrounding tissue and firmer with arousal. Tap that spot, or start rapidly moving your entire hand up and down and BOOM. Massive orgasms in a short time, and no disabling sensitivity... thus no reason to stop when she has a big O. Just keep at it and enjoy the screams. I love it. You can also use the thumb on the same hand or fingers on the other hand to stimulate the clit at the same time to really make her explode... but you have to be much more gentle with it and its tricky to manage the rapid hard movements of one hand with the less intense movements of the other.
> 
> Get a couple orgasms that way and I'll bet she'll be primed for an orgasm from penetration right afterwards. Its never failed me.
> 
> The awesome thing about women is the more revved up they are, the more orgasms they've had, the easier it is to get the next one. I think us men can only dream of what its like to be that wrecked and trembling.


Wow!! So much detailed that I pictured it in my head and it turned me on lol
I bet working with your hands to please your partner is an art and not everyone is good at that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Browncoat said:


> Unlike your wife though DvlsAdvc8, once my wife has gotten off a few times (often times just once) that's it. Sex is over. So I have to be careful not to get her to climax during foreplay.


Oh that just means its time to tie her down and go at it till she begs and stutters.  :smthumbup:


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> Wow!! So much detailed that I pictured it in my head and it turned me on lol
> I bet working with your hands to please your partner is an art and not everyone is good at that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You don't have to be good at it at first... you learn. I think some of the best things are exploring, learning and just having fun... teasing and laughing.

My wife was a virgin when we met. Something I found tremendously hot was letting her explore and inspect my body with her hands while I stood there naked.

Sex really isn't perfect. Its actually pretty sloppy and in many cases awkward. I think a key to good sex is creativity, keeping it fresh and trying something new even if its just a mindset. Make it fun, not just pleasurable. Its not so much being good at it. Although there are some things that just work, its more about learning the little things that are peculiar to the person you're with. People like different things.


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

I am a very orgasmic woman. I can climax through penetration, oral or manual stimulation. I suppose this is rare.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Oh that just means its time to tie her down and go at it till she begs and stutters.  :smthumbup:


I wish... I really really do. But pain kicks in and that's that.


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## TwoDogs (Jul 29, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am in the minority......I have a hard time orgasming from oral sex


Sign me up for that minority too, I'm a penetration gal.

I've found that most guys are wayyyy too rough/firm on the clit, even when I've told them repeatedly to lighten up. Oral sex doesn't do much for me unless there is finger penetration, and that's what will make me come.

I've really had a difficult time redirecting men from their clit focus.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> Fingering sounds pretty disgusting, but that's coming from someone who's never tried it before. lol.
> Tonight though, I was having sex talk with a guy [on Skype] and he started fantasizing about us saying he'd like to finger me and such. For the first time in my life I was turned on by this thought.
> 
> The only way to orgasm for me is by just touching myself. I've never tried toys or anything like that and I don't know if I ever will.
> The thought doesn't make me feel comfortable.


What is it about 'fingering' that you find disgusting? You mention that the fantasy generated by this chat with the skype guy made it seem arousing do you. 

When you say that the 'only way to orgasm for [you] is by touching [your]self', aren't you touching yourself with your fingers? 

Just trying to logically arrange the various pieces you have laid out in your comment!


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> :rofl: oh good lord! Edward!
> 
> I'm sure I've responded on another thread about this but vaginal orgasms are all about the grinding motion baby


Yep agree. Mrs Wysh will cowgirl but then lays on top and grinds and grinds to get herself close then rides away till she pops. I have managed it with straight missionary but it is very rare, and also spooning position. Spooning position can give multiples.


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## sandc (Dec 15, 2011)

Mrs. SandC can climax with manual stimulation, oral, or penetration. The trifecta. But she is rarely multi-orgasmic.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I just came on to this thread, finally, because I saw it pop up while NOT at work... and was gonna write what Dolly suggested (that lady must know something about good sex  ) anyways yeah whenever my ex had "vaginal" O's there was lots of moving, heavy breathing, moaning, sweating bumping and grinding and a whole lot of steady rythym , and for us it was always mutual because what worked for me worked exactly for her (I was never once able to outlast her, but she never outlasted me either). usually missionary was best, cowgirl worked too.

and just realized this is an old thread


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

ankh said:


> What is it about 'fingering' that you find disgusting? You mention that the fantasy generated by this chat with the skype guy made it seem arousing do you.
> 
> When you say that the 'only way to orgasm for [you] is by touching [your]self', aren't you touching yourself with your fingers?
> 
> Just trying to logically arrange the various pieces you have laid out in your comment!


By "fingering" I meant to say putting the fingers_ inside _the vagina. This is something I don't do.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

I'd like to add that even if I don't use the fingering method to satisfy myself, I wouldn't be opposed to have someone else do it for me. Actually, I would more than likely welcome it ..especially if the guy is experienced and knows what he's doing.


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

My DW is clit dependant with me, I can get her off with CAT, or sometimes she prefers cowgirl grinding, not in and out. With her wider girth ex-BF, she could climax vaginally. She told me, her ex never grind, just usual in and out, never even bump her clit. And he never went down on her, she get clit 'O' only when she's on top with him.
So I know my DW could climax from clit, vagina and nipples stimulation (her first BF gave it to her once).


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

LearninAsWeGo said:


> Some women are more clit sensitive, some are more front wall (gspot) of the vag, some are more base of vag, some have real sensitive nipples... that goes for both getting them wet and turned on and for orgasm (ie a woman could like front/gspot to get turned on but may need more deep penetration/base of vag to orgasm. In all honestly, the biggest factor is emotional relaxation and getting into it *mentally*. I'm in awe nobody brought that up.
> 
> The toys, hands, penis, etc doesn't really matter a whole lot. A skilled lover will use them all from time to time. Not to brag, but I've made women cum with no toys and no penetration or clit stim of any kind... just candles, silk ties, feather, dirty talk, kissing nipples, licking nape of neck, etc (sorry if TMI but trying to help you understand). Again, it's largely mental. Your mind is the biggest sex organ for men or women; I've been with a lot of women, yet some of my best orgasms were on my own. The sooner you realize the mental part, the sooner you will have truly great sex (a hot looking, skilled, and open minded partner sure helps, though).
> 
> Also FYI, if you read karma sutra at all (everyone should gain at least a basic understanding), there are a lot of different types of female orgasms: gspot, clit, squirting, anal, total body, emotional, exercise, etc. I've met multiple women who will get orgasms from the Roman chair or similar moves at the gym sometimes.


True, but good luck getting most people on TAM to believe this. :rofl:


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

I think he sounds believable!


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> By "fingering" I meant to say putting the fingers_ inside _the vagina. This is something I don't do.


Why not? Fingers slip easily into the vagina. Help me understand why you won't insert your fingers inside your vagina.


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

Maybe she's afraid it will break her cherry, that she is suppose to save it for the very special one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

My response to that is... What if she chooses tampons over pads? The hymen would have to be perforated anyway, so then what?


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## Izzie (Aug 17, 2012)

This is a great question LovelyGirl... I lost my virginity at 16 and it took me 12 years later to achieve my first G-spot/penetration orgasm at age 28. That was also one of the best nights of my life!!  

I read somewhere once that clitoral orgasms are immature orgasms and that is how I would describe them. For me it took years of experimentation and meeting the right guy to finally have that earth-shattering mind-blowing orgasm you see in the porno's. Clitoral orgasms can be achieved easily via finger or tongue, toys... The orgasm during penetration is much harder but is worth trying to achieve it. I thought I just was not able to have an orgasm during penetration but I finally figured it out. This is what worked for me:

1) You first need Foreplay. Lot's of foreplay and relax.
2) Lie on your back with a pillow propped in the small of your back so your pelvis is pointed upward.
3) Legs spread apart as far as possible.
4) Squeeze (Kiegles) your vaginal muscles and move back and forth to the penetration.
5) Concentrate and enjoy what you're doing. Don't think about 'Am I fat?' 'Am I doing it right?'
6) You need the right partner in terms of chemistry and physically. I think length has a lot to do with it. If a man is not big enough to reach your G-spot then you can't possibly get off. I think that is the problem for most women. No one wants to admit that. Lol.

Good luck. I'm excited for you for when you decide to have sex. Hope it doesn't take you 12 years like it did me to orgasm. I think this might help


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Excellent advice!


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## Izzie (Aug 17, 2012)

lovelygirl said:


> yeah, but fingering needs to come from a well-experienced guy.
> For me as technically a virgin, having someone fingering me for the first time would mean a lot of responsibility from a guy's side.
> He either should be great at it or he better not do it at all.


Lovelygirl I don't like being fingered either. I never have. I'm 37 and I've had 2 kids. It does nothing for me. Sometimes it just feels rough and invasive. It never mattered who was doing it. Sex is the best and if you can achieve an G-spot orgasm keep that guy  If you can't cum then clitoral stimulation or oral is the next best thing. 

Women aren't like men. It's hard for us to cum and it can take what seems like forever. All men cum the same way and it take them like 7 minutes sometimes  So it may take a while for you to get it. Your first time may be a huge dissapointment. You'll be in pain and wonder what the big fuss was all about.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

Izzie:

Viva la Difference! The fact that woman can take an inordinantly long time to reach orgasm is what makes all that foreplay and work fun! No better time is well spent than helping a lady 'get there.'


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## Horsa (Jun 27, 2012)

I read some articles about girthy penis will by itself brushed against g-spot on PIV, since g-spot is usually located only 1-2 inches inside the opening and it will swell upon arousal. I thought that most girthty one will at least be 4"-5" long. And I agree that you need a lot of foreplay before to make the g-spot swell. 
Length did help with a-spot orgasms in my opinion, as you need length to reach the a-spot. Though I still need to learn more to give DW an a-spot orgasm, she said she felt like there's a spark in there everytime I bump her a-spot, but she just couldn't climax on it alone.
My DW also hate fingering, she though it was rough and invasive too. She never agreed to try those g-spot techniques using fingering. Using penis to bump at her g-spot only make her want to pee, and she always asked me to stop. I don't know how to get it going from there. I still have much to learn and explore. 
The upsides of the fights we have are that she's more open to exploration now, and we talked about sex more openly. She even suggested something new for us to try.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

ankh said:


> Why not? Fingers slip easily into the vagina. Help me understand why you won't insert your fingers inside your vagina.


Because it feels disgusting. I'd rather have someone else do it for me.



Horsa said:


> Maybe she's afraid it will break her cherry, that she is suppose to save it for the very special one.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No. It doesn't have to do with that at all. I don't plan on remaining virgin until marriage. I don't believe in that crap.



ankh said:


> My response to that is... What if she chooses tampons over pads? The hymen would have to be perforated anyway, so then what?


I don't use tampons. I use pads.

I once tried using tampons but they wouldn't go too deep and it hurt. I stopped and never used them eversince.
I didn't really care about the hymen breaking.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Izzie said:


> This is a great question LovelyGirl... I lost my virginity at 16 and it took me 12 years later to achieve my first G-spot/penetration orgasm at age 28.




Had you ever reached orgasm by pleasuring yourself?
I have no problem with reaching O by myself and I get turned on very easily.



> The orgasm during penetration is much harder but is worth trying to achieve it.


I've read/heard that orgasm during penetration is easier to reach through clitoral stimulation. I don't know if there's orgasmic penetration without clit. stimulation




> 1) You first need Foreplay. Lot's of foreplay and relax.


The guy needs to be very good at giving foreplay. I think it plays a HUUUUUUGE role.

Now you got me thinking about Grey.... 



> 2) Lie on your back with a pillow propped in the small of your back so your pelvis is pointed upward.
> 3) Legs spread apart as far as possible.
> 4) Squeeze (Kiegles) your vaginal muscles and move back and forth to the penetration.
> 5) Concentrate and enjoy what you're doing. Don't think about 'Am I fat?' 'Am I doing it right?'
> 6) You need the right partner in terms of chemistry and physically. I think length has a lot to do with it. If a man is not big enough to reach your G-spot then you can't possibly get off. I think that is the problem for most women. No one wants to admit that. Lol.


Very good advice! :smthumbup:



> Good luck. I'm excited for you for when you decide to have sex. Hope it doesn't take you 12 years like it did me to orgasm. I think this might help


Thank you!


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Izzie said:


> Women aren't like men. It's hard for us to cum and it can take what seems like forever. All men cum the same way and it take them like 7 minutes sometimes


I love it when you talk in stereotypes. 

:smthumbup:



Horsa said:


> Using penis to bump at her g-spot only make her want to pee, and she always asked me to stop. I don't know how to get it going from there. I still have much to learn and explore.


Ask her to relax, and release. The sensation she's describing is how quite a few women discovered that they can squirt.



lovelygirl said:


> I don't know if there's orgasmic penetration without clit. stimulation


There is.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Izzie said:


> 6) You need the right partner in terms of chemistry and physically. I think length has a lot to do with it. If a man is not big enough to reach your G-spot then you can't possibly get off. I think that is the problem for most women. No one wants to admit that. Lol.


I think you need to find a match. Not all guys are endowed the same and not all women are built the same either.


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## Izzie (Aug 17, 2012)

Obviously I am making a generalization. I can't speak for every single woman because I am not every single woman. I can only speak through my experience and answer for the majority. It's just some advice.

If a man is great in bed but a terrible person, obviously that should not be the ONLY reason to keep him around. However, too many people get married to spouses where the sex is not great because there is a great "emotional" connection and then find themselves unfulfilled later on. Marriage can be a long hard road with many temptations, and if you're not getting off, it makes it that much harder.

Yes there are women who can just "squirt" every time with a man with a small penis who they don't really like. If you dig deep, no pun intended, I bet she really really liked the man with the small penis and that's why she is able to cum so hard. Whether he knows it or not...

Bottom Line Again: For most of us to be able to cum during penetration we need, an emotional connection, a penis large enough (depending on the woman's size and where her G-spot is located) there is no way mine is only 2 inches in, mine is more like 7 inches in -- TMI lol, and she needs to be in the right position, and have confidence with her body and relax.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

lovelygirl said:


> .....And he said *most men don't know anything about foreplay*, clitoris rubbing during sex, therefore women don't usually orgasm....


Maybe it's just me, but I am certain that the statement in bold above is an unfair "generalization" too


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

My wife orgasms from a bullet vibrator when she's on her period. Aside from that, I give her oral and she cums from that, and she can cum when she's on top in the Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl position. The funny thing is, it doesn't take her that long to orgasm. Once she gets my peen in a certain position, she's good to go.


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## Jeradsjunk (Sep 15, 2012)

My wife used to have trouble orgasiming. She was brought up in a conservative family and thought woman were suppose to orgasm from PIV only so she would never try anything else. She would only orgasm about 25% of the time. I finally got her to try a bullet during PIV sex and she got to 80% of the time. Now we use a magic wand and I don't think she has not had about 10 minutes of waves of orgasms since we got it. She really likes sex now .


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