# The "no kids club" thread....



## Cee Paul

Just wanted to make a thread dedicated to those of us who have *no kids* for whatever reason, and to openly discuss what it's like not being a parent both good and bad. To re-cap my situation; my wife is unable to have kids and we decided about two years ago not to pursue adoption any longer for several reasons, and although my wife was not on board at first she is now starting to come around to the idea as she gets older(she's now 41).


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## ScarletBegonias

I'd like to be part of this thread but I'm afraid I can't.I have a child from a relationship I was in 11 years ago.He lives with his father and I see him a lot but never felt maternal toward him.More like the cool big sister or aunt who guides him and teaches him things.
SO and I won't be having children because I can't have any more kids.

We live as a childfree couple most of the time unless my son is visiting.


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## Chopsy

Thanks Cee for starting this thread. I was unable to have children due to Cushings disease which I had when I was in my teens. I was later reassured by a specialist that it might be possible. Got married, bit rockyat the beginning due to work and culture shock on my part, finally went to hospital, had two treatments for IUI (first cousin to IVF) but the eggs didn't grow so we were told no point in carrying on. Devastating. Looked into adoption but due to my age, knew our options would be limited, and tbh, we were enjoying a child free life, able to go out for meals, go away for holidays and such. We bestowed our parental feelings onto our animals, two dogs and three cats. That may strike the parents as really sad, but it isn't. I do still regret not having children, but now am separated and at least no children are suffering. I think whats hardest is feeling like an outcast when people find out you don't have children. I also have my nephews to whom I am very close.


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## notperfectanymore

No kids by choice here...I am 44, hubs is 46..we never wanted them and I wondered if I would regret that decision. I have "mothered" my brothers kids (born when I was a teen) and I now THANK GOD I didn't have any...not in this world today...um...nope....

We are actually getting together with more friends from 20 years ago now that they are "empty nesters". We have always enjoyed it, we live a busy life and have lots of fun, both work very busy 40+ hour a week jobs and are working on early retirement. And I can't even FATHOM the cost of taking a family of 5 to dinner, movies, amusement parks or vacations...OMG THE COST! WOW!

All parents get the big hats off from me...it is ALOT of work..high five to all of them.


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## CharlieParker

We have no kids by choice. We always expected to, because well, it's expected. We always said now was not the right time and put it off for later. Finally when she was 36 we agreed it was now or never. That's when we realized we didn't want any. That was 14 years ago, no regrets.


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## Cee Paul

Growing up I always played uncle to several nieces and nephews and have babysat for them many times back then, and then my ex had two kids from her previous marriage that were ages 6 and 10 when we met and of course I helped raise them for awhile(we were only married about 2.50 years); so now I kind of feel like I had a period in my life where I was already a parent who was responsible for kids. But at one point in my 20's and early 30's I had hoped to have a child or two of my own one day, but now at almost 47 years old I have no desire what so ever to be a parent from here on out.


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## captainstormy

My fiancee and I aren't getting married until June but we aren't planning on having any kids.

I'll be 29 and she'll be 33 by the end of June. If we were going to have kids it would need to be fairly soon due to age.

Neither of us want a kid, but we haven't told anyone but our friends that yet. Her family wouldn't understand no wanting a kid. Mine knows I don't want any kids so they aren't surprised.

It isn't that we don't like kids, I'm an assistant scout master for the BSA and on the waiting list to be a big brother for big brothers big sisters. (So is she).

We just like our independence and wouldn't want to be responsibility of being a parent all the time.

We have talked way more about what kind of a dog to get then having kids. That was a quick agreement with us.

I do gotta admit thou, I'm worried that there may be some regret about not having kids when I'm elderly.


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## that_girl

I love my childfree friends  

I know many people in my life that don't want kids. As a parent, I think sometimes they have the right idea! :rofl:


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## bisonsk

My wife and I also do not have kids and do not plan on ever having any. We are both 34 and quite happy without children. Any time we babysit for a relative only reinforces our belief that we made the right decision.


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## Cee Paul

A few weeks ago my wife and I were in Target and there was this little boy I'd say was about 5 or 6 maybe, and he was being a complete and total brat and threw a tantrum everytime his mom said no to something and it was very annoying! I was hoping and praying that she would just pick that kid up - smacked him on his azz - and took him away somewhere far from that store! So on the way home I asked my wife if seeing stuff like that made her still wanna have kids and she said(quote).........."HELL NO".


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## RandomDude

How about I post on this thread from monday to friday, then avoid it for the weekend due to my single daddyhood? No?
Aww ok 

*walks off with head down*


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## Cee Paul

RandomDude said:


> How about I post on this thread from monday to friday, then avoid it for the weekend due to my single daddyhood? No?
> Aww ok
> 
> *walks off with head down*


Feel free to post or hangout but I mainly created this thread to kind of _celebrate_ NOT having any kids, and about how great it is or great it can be.


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## Freak On a Leash

How great it WOULD be I can only imagine. I love my kids to death but I wouldn't do it again. Now that that one is in college and the other graduating high school in 3 years my thoughts turn to what I will do once I'm "free". I pray I stay healthy enough to enjoy it. All I know is that the older my kids get, the happier I am. I was miserable when they were younger and I was tied down to them all the time. 

I often think that if I didn't have kids I'd have money in the bank and who knows what I'd be doing? I try not to think too deeply about it now. I know I would've divorced my husband years ago instead of now. I wouldn't be living where I am and doing what I do. My children have been my prison wardens for some time now. They hold the key to my freedom. When they grow up and move out, I'll be free. :smthumbup:

Until then, I try my best to enjoy the good aspects of being with them..and there are many. Having a fat savings account is NOT one of them though. 

I will admit, I'm envious of those who made the decision not to have kids and stuck to it. It's not for everyone, that's for sure. I'm glad the times are changing so that people are considering the option of NOT having children. Bringing kids into this world when you don't want them is a recipe for disaster.


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## that_girl

My kids can be big turds. I love them, but my life isn't completely for them, as many people make it out to be.

I was so happy when my STBX got snipped after our daughter was born. lol

Enjoy life, my child-free friends! I'll enjoy it too


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## Cee Paul

Freak On a Leash said:


> How great it WOULD be I can only imagine. I love my kids to death but I wouldn't do it again. Now that that one is in college and the other graduating high school in 3 years my thoughts turn to what I will do once I'm "free". I pray I stay healthy enough to enjoy it. All I know is that the older my kids get, the happier I am. I was miserable when they were younger and I was tied down to them all the time.
> 
> I often think that if I didn't have kids I'd have money in the bank and who knows what I'd be doing? I try not to think too deeply about it now. I know I would've divorced my husband years ago instead of now. I wouldn't be living where I am and doing what I do. My children have been my prison wardens for some time now. They hold the key to my freedom. When they grow up and move out, I'll be free. :smthumbup:
> 
> Until then, I try my best to enjoy the good aspects of being with them..and there are many. Having a fat savings account is NOT one of them though.
> 
> *I will admit, I'm envious of those who made the decision not to have kids and stuck to it. It's not for everyone, that's for sure. *I'm glad the times are changing so that people are considering the option of NOT having children. Bringing kids into this world when you don't want them is a recipe for disaster.


I actually tried on a few occasions to have kids but my ex already had two kids from a previous marriage and had her tubes tied, and now my current wife is unable to have kids because her eggs aren't able to drop. So my want and desire to have kids _was_ there but now at almost 47 yrs old that is all gone from me completely, and I now look forward to enjoying the rest of my life child-free.


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## janesmith

in my opinion people with no children make the best godparents, aunte's and uncles. It really is a partnership made in heaven. My best friend and her husband have no children. She is the godmother to all 4 of my children. She is also one of the best friends they will ever have. She loves them unconditionally untainted by the disillusion caused by having to parent them. Her patience is limitless when she would have them over. Her presents are the most thoughtful and she never forgets a special occasion. And she loves my children like they are her own.

Dont think this is one sided. I get to provide her with 2x yearly visits that while she enjoys, reminds her why she doesnt have any children of her own!


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## Cee Paul

janesmith said:


> in my opinion people with no children make the best godparents, aunte's and uncles. It really is a partnership made in heaven. My best friend and her husband have no children. She is the godmother to all 4 of my children. She is also one of the best friends they will ever have. She loves them unconditionally untainted by the disillusion caused by having to parent them. Her patience is limitless when she would have them over. Her presents are the most thoughtful and she never forgets a special occasion. And she loves my children like they are her own.
> 
> *Dont think this is one sided. I get to provide her with 2x yearly visits that while she enjoys, reminds her why she doesnt have any children of her own!*


Exactly Janesmith, because at this point I am a good uncle or maybe a good godfather and do enjoy the kids...............as long as they get to go back home. :rofl:


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## COGypsy

janesmith said:


> in my opinion people with no children make the best godparents, aunte's and uncles. It really is a partnership made in heaven. My best friend and her husband have no children. She is the godmother to all 4 of my children. She is also one of the best friends they will ever have. She loves them unconditionally untainted by the disillusion caused by having to parent them. Her patience is limitless when she would have them over. Her presents are the most thoughtful and she never forgets a special occasion. And she loves my children like they are her own.
> 
> Dont think this is one sided. I get to provide her with 2x yearly visits that while she enjoys, reminds her why she doesnt have any children of her own!


Not to mention we support an entire industry of quasi-appropriate child gifts afloat! Who do you think buys singing Justin Bieber toothbrushes, Disney Princess Dooney bags and half of all the pets in America?

AUNTIES!!!

Who do you think keeps the peel-off nail polish, lip smacker gloss and sparkly hair thingy industry alive??

AUNTIES!!!

Who do you think terrifies every mom she knows by mentioning how inspiring a Valentine's booze bouquet is for the upcoming birthday parties for the little girls??

Oh wait. That's just me. It's just too much fun to torment parents :rofl:


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## Cee Paul

I have this older lady I see all the time at work who constantly INSISTS that my wife and I need to go out and adopt a child very soon, even though I have no desire to be a parent and we are having major problems in our marriage. She always disagrees and thinks it will fix everything and we need to "just do it", but then I have to remind her that a) it's not like buying a new car where you can trade it in later if you're not happy, and b) you do not bring a child into a bad situation because that is totally not fair to that child.


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## Cee Paul

I guess there are times where I wish my wife could go off and re-marry a younger guy who either has little kids of his own, or is young enough that he's still willing to adopt children and start a family with her. I wanted to do that with her up until about two years ago, but now at 47 I have completely lost the energy and desire to be a dad to anyone and unfortuneatly my wife is 6 years younger than me and still wants to adopt.


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