# coping with male infertility



## hankthetank81 (Apr 9, 2016)

So my wife and I are having fertility issues. We are trying to conceive without ivf. So after about 6 or 7 visits and multiple tests on my wife, I had to take a semen sample. 

So first results, about 1million. Now they say average male is around 30 million. I was a premature baby and at the age of 5 had to undergo surgery for an undescended testicle. The doctor said most likely that testicle is not functional hence why it never dropped. So with 15 million, I would still be ok. I was at 1 million. My second sample, under 1 million. Practically shooting blanks. Low progression. Bad news for me. Off to the urologist I go.

So dropping my pants on the first date is uncommon but the urologist insisted, where he discovered a varicocele in my left testicle, which is a high cause of infertility. So we set a date for surgery, he also cut off a growth and did biopsy of said growth as well as my testicle. 

I'm still not back to work, the steristrips are coming off now, I'm still a little sore but I'm getting around pretty good. The doctor called. Procedure went well. The growth was not cancerous. The testicle... well, is not healthy and most likely surgery will not change the outcome I went in for.

I'm devastated. Not only did I go through all this, missing almost a month from work, only to find out it may have been worthless? My wife is almost done teaching for the school year. I don't want to tell her now. Part of me wants to wait until after the retest in 3 months. The other part says to tell her after she finishes the school year. 

I had the most incredible father. He was my best friend. He died when I was 18. I miss him to no end. I've been ready to be a father for a few years now, and unfortunately I'm unsure if I will ever get to be a father. If I could be half the man he was, my children will be so blessed. My wife wants to be a mother in the worst way now that she's in her mid 30s. I feel like I am robbing us both of our dreams. This really sucks. 

So am I wrong on waiting to tell my wife to avoid giving her 3 months of something more to worry about? I feel if I tell her, it's only going to upset her and she has too much going on to take on this information right now.


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

Remember high school biology class? Or was it "Sex ed"? "How many sperm does it take to get pregnant?"

Not a million.

Go for IVF and be done with it. You're getting too hung up on the process and not the result.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Talk to your doc about IUI. It's much more affordable than IVF. I'd try a couple rounds of that prior to moving to IVF. One of my buddies and his wife owe their son to IUI.

Now... there _are_ some things that you can do to up your count, motility, etc...

* Increase your water intake
* Cut sodas, coffee, etc out of your diet
* If you drink, STOP
* If you smoke, STOP
* Start taking a supplement like Proceptin
* If you don't already, START. LIFTING. WEIGHTS.

Your doc might also put you on Clomid to up your testosterone levels; if so, know that you shouldn't be on it for more than a few months at most.

Also, BE HONEST W/ YOUR WIFE. Tell her the truth, and do it tonight.


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## hankthetank81 (Apr 9, 2016)

Well maybe for you, it's easy to pull $20k plus out of thin air for an unsure thing. My wife has complications as well, so to drop that kind of money, non refundable, on a unsure thing... well its not sensable. We are exhausting everything we can that insurance covers. Ivf is not covered. If it was, I would most likely be a father by now.


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## hankthetank81 (Apr 9, 2016)

Thanks Gus. I am on some fertility enhancing supliments. I move heavy machinery 5 days a week. I am taking up some different exercises to try to improve health, I went on a diet, I cut out soda and I don't drink much, only a couple beers Friday night. I have 1 cup of coffee in the am, water all day. I don't smoke, quit 2 years ago.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

hankthetank81 said:


> Well maybe for you, it's easy to pull $20k plus out of thin air for an unsure thing. My wife has complications as well, so to drop that kind of money, non refundable, on a unsure thing... well its not sensable. We are exhausting everything we can that insurance covers. Ivf is not covered. If it was, I would most likely be a father by now.


Been there and done that.

Wasn't easy, and we do have regrets (and, honestly, are still recovering), but we'd have rather spent the money trying to start our family than the alternative. After all, there will always be more money.

And it was a good bit more than 20K for us, but much of it was for medications and travel.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

hankthetank81 said:


> Thanks Gus. I am on some fertility enhancing supliments. I move heavy machinery 5 days a week. I am taking up some different exercises to try to improve health, I went on a diet, I cut out soda and I don't drink much, only a couple beers Friday night. I have 1 cup of coffee in the am, water all day. I don't smoke, quit 2 years ago.


If you wear briefs, switch to boxers.

And exercise isn't enough -- you have to lift weights.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hankthetank81 (Apr 9, 2016)

I usually wear boxers but doc told me to use support until incisions heal. I will have to give weight lifting a try. Probably be good for me in a few ways. I said 20k because that was a quote, if it took or not. Considering what my friends have paid it's the low end for us, and most likely a fail. 20k could get me a new car. 20k could redo our driveway, bathroom and rear patio. 20k could be a nice cruise and vacation. My one friend paid 180k. Another 135k. Another around 15k. They got fairly lucky. I'm a man of faith, so if it's not meant to be, guess the big man has another plan. It just sucks when something that is all to often taken for granted by so many is your very downfall.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

hankthetank81 said:


> Well maybe for you, it's easy to pull $20k plus out of thin air for an unsure thing. My wife has complications as well, so to drop that kind of money, non refundable, on a unsure thing... well its not sensable. We are exhausting everything we can that insurance covers. Ivf is not covered. If it was, I would most likely be a father by now.


It would have been helpful if you included all the details in the original post, including your need to just vent rather than hear sensible solutions. What's easiest for me is to ignore requests just for attention.

FWIW, IVF isn't "iffy"..if she has an egg and you have at least one sperm, you have a baby. I won't comment on the money not knowing what your other financial responsibilities and priorities are. 

Good luck to you.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

You might try reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It's a great book, and will educate you and your wife about everything to do with fertility, her cycle, etc. Putting tab A into slot B at the right time might end up being all you need. And after reading the book, you'll be able to tell when the right time is.

Anyhow, it's a $30 option if you're interested in trying


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Unicus said:


> It would have been helpful if you included all the details in the original post, including your need to just vent rather than hear sensible solutions. What's easiest for me is to ignore requests just for attention.


Wheaton's rule.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Unicus said:


> It would have been helpful if you included all the details in the original post, including your need to just vent rather than hear sensible solutions. What's easiest for me is to ignore requests just for attention.
> 
> FWIW, IVF isn't "iffy"..if she has an egg and you have at least one sperm, you have a baby. I won't comment on the money not knowing what your other financial responsibilities and priorities are.
> 
> Good luck to you.


You don't know a lot about IVF, do you?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

BioFury said:


> You might try reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It's a great book, and will educate you and your wife about everything to do with fertility, her cycle, etc. Putting tab A into slot B at the right time might end up being all you need. And after reading the book, you'll be able to tell when the right time is.
> 
> Anyhow, it's a $30 option if you're interested in trying


Great book.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

What about a sperm donor?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lilac23 said:


> What about a sperm donor?


Those are the last two words that any guy wants to hear, followed closely by "egg donor".


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Lilac23 said:


> What about a sperm donor?





GusPolinski said:


> Those are the last two words that any guy wants to hear, followed closely by "egg donor".


There but the grace of god go I....

I don't think I could do it. I think I'd hold to either its ours or adopt. Even if that was a deal-breaker for her. This is something that I do not think women are capable of understanding.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Those are the last two words that any guy wants to hear, followed closely by "egg donor".


How do men feel about the words 'testicular transplant'?


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

larry.gray said:


> There but the grace of god go I....
> 
> I don't think I could do it. I think I'd hold to either its ours or adopt. Even if that was a deal-breaker for her. This is something that I do not think women are capable of understanding.


I think I'm capable of understanding! Is it about family name, dna, some other guy's sperm in your wife, raising a child that is not biologically yours?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lilac23 said:


> How do men feel about the words 'testicular transplant'?


Probably somewhat similar to the way that we feel about the words "axe trauma".


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lilac23 said:


> I think I'm capable of understanding! Is it about family name, dna, some other guy's sperm in your wife, raising a child that is not biologically yours?


All of the above.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Lilac23 said:


> I think I'm capable of understanding! Is it about family name


I don't see that as a problem. If you're adopting, then you're giving your name to that child. You're making that child the future of your family. No problems there.




Lilac23 said:


> some other guy's sperm in your wife,


Yep. And another man's child growing in my wife.



Lilac23 said:


> raising a child that is not biologically yours?


Adopting means that too. So would having a step-child. Neither of those would be an issue either.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

larry.gray said:


> There but the grace of god go I....
> 
> I don't think I could do it. I think I'd hold to either its ours or adopt. Even if that was a deal-breaker for her. This is something that I do not think women are capable of understanding.


When Mrs. Gus and I were going through all of this stuff, I submitted a few samples. Depending on the day of the week, how bright the sun was shining on that particular day, how closely aligned Mars was to the magnetic galactic axis, etc, I'd get varying results. Sometimes the results were good, sometimes they were fine/borderline, and, in one particular instance (due to an *ahem* lube issue), they were abysmal. Plus, "performing" under those circumstances isn't exactly what I'd call fun.

Long story short... there was a point in time that we thought that we might have to use donor sperm. It was tough for me to hear and we eventually learned that wasn't the case, but by that time I'd come to the point where I told myself that, if nothing else, if we moved forward w/ using donor sperm and had success, that would mean that I'd always have a piece of my wife.

And that was what I really wanted.

Still, I'm not gonna lie... it wouldn't have been easy.

But you know what? Once we found out that our core issues were egg-related, and we were put into contact w/ an egg donor registry? My wife couldn't start browsing that site quickly enough.

"Ooh, Sweetie, look at her... she's pretty!"

"Look, Sweetie... a Latina with blue eyes! We could have babies with your blue eyes!"

"Hmm... I dunno about this one. She's way taller than me. I wouldn't want our kids to be Amazons."

Me? I felt vulgar.

Either way, I think that the difference between men and women in this respect comes down to the way that we're "programmed", if you will -- generally speaking, men want to procreate, and women want to nurture.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

larry.gray said:


> Yep. And another man's child growing in my wife.


Possession issues?


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Either way, I think that the difference between men and women in this respect comes down to the way that we're "programmed", if you will -- generally speaking, men want to procreate, and women want to nurture.


I feel like there are flaws with this argument, both my sisters have had stepchildren and did not want to 'nurture' them. Neither of the mothers were involved with these kids and you would think that would call the nurturer in both of them, but it did not. Both of them became competitive with those children and their own biological children.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lilac23 said:


> Possession issues?


Come on. Don't hit us w/ that.

It might (technically) be a _somewhat_ fair assessment, but this is primal stuff. Men have very strong instincts wired into us that strongly discourage us from accepting cuckoldry, and the only thing separating this from that is infidelity.

Just how evolved and enlightened are we expected to be when it comes to something like this?

And let's not forget the cost involved -- shelling out tons of cash just so that my wife can carry and give birth to some _other guy's_ offspring?

Ugh.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lilac23 said:


> I feel like there are flaws with this argument, both my sisters have had stepchildren and did not want to 'nurture' them. Neither of the mothers were involved with these kids and you would think that would call the nurturer in both of them, but it did not. Both of them became competitive with those children and their own biological children.


Again, general rule and not something carved into stone. There will obviously be exceptions.

Plus I'd expect anyone to naturally favor their own children over those of someone else. If that weren't the case, adoption would be much more common than it is.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Again, general rule and not something carved into stone. There will obviously be exceptions.
> 
> Plus I'd expect anyone to naturally favor their own children over those of someone else. If that weren't the case, adoption would be much more common than it is.


I tried pointing out to them that most male species kill the offspring of the former male when they take over the females. But they were all 'higher order logic' and all about humans being above that. :grin2:


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> Either way, I think that the difference between men and women in this respect comes down to the way that we're "programmed", if you will -- generally speaking, men want to procreate, and women want to nurture.


I think there is more than that though.

First is the fact that women never have had to worry about misattributed parenthood. As a gender, they haven't been fooled and still can't be. There is a strong biological reason for a man to mate guard, and little reason for women to.

The second is that even when a donor egg is used, it still grows inside her. Her body nourishes that egg into a baby. 

The real comparison would be using a surrogate.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Come on. Don't hit us w/ that.
> 
> It might (technically) be a _somewhat_ fair assessment, but this is primal stuff. Men have very strong instincts wired into us that strongly discourage us from accepting cuckoldry, and the only thing separating this from that is infidelity.


But it's not infidelity or cuckoldry, it's five seconds with a turkey baster. The wife would probably even be willing to let you watch and have a go before and after she uses it.



GusPolinski said:


> Just how evolved and enlightened are we expected to be when it comes to something like this?


Women can feel like that too, did you see the thread about the guy whose wife wouldn't consider donor eggs or adoption because it would make her feel like a failure? It's not just a 'man' issue.



GusPolinski said:


> And let's not forget the cost involved -- shelling out tons of cash just so that my wife can carry and give birth to some _other guy's_ offspring?
> 
> Ugh.


Oh, come on now, a sperm bank cant be that expensive. They're all over the place.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lilac23 said:


> I tried pointing out to them that most male species kill the offspring of the former male when they take over the females. But they were all 'higher order logic' and all about humans being above that. :grin2:


Uhhh... FWIW, some of us aren't. Your abusive assh*le types that wind up beating the sh*t out of their step-children (or worse)? I'd bet money that they're wrestling internally w/ exactly that issue. Because those guys have a much less-developed id/ego/super-ego balance, though, they're not able to get a handle on it.

And of course there's also the story of the Roman soldier returning home after years of being away at war... and promptly killing and burying his wife's infant child.

It happens.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

larry.gray said:


> I think there is more than that though.
> 
> First is the fact that women never have had to worry about misattributed parenthood. As a gender, they haven't been fooled and still can't be. There is a strong biological reason for a man to mate guard, and little reason for women to.


Jewish people trace their ancestry through the mother for this reason.



larry.gray said:


> The second is that even when a donor egg is used, it still grows inside her. Her body nourishes that egg into a baby.
> 
> The real comparison would be using a surrogate.


Totally true and probably why an egg donor wouldn't bother me at all because I would still give birth to it.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

larry.gray said:


> I think there is more than that though.
> 
> First is the fact that women never have had to worry about misattributed parenthood. As a gender, they haven't been fooled and still can't be. There is a strong biological reason for a man to mate guard, and little reason for women to.
> 
> ...


Still, that's such an unnatural thing that there's probably not a strongly-developed instinct to guard against it.

I dunno... ladies?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> Plus I'd expect anyone to naturally favor their own children over those of someone else. If that weren't the case, adoption would be much more common than it is.


I have to give my maternal grandmother lots of props in this regard. 

Several of my uncles had step kids. When I was a teenager we talked extensively about how important it was to treat all kids as just more kids. Playing favorites hurts kids more than we realize. 

I'm not sure where her insight came from, but she explained it very well about how important it was and I'm not doing her explanation justice. It did really stick with me since. I don't have step kids, but I do have other step relations and I've stuck with her advice since. I've had more than one parent thank my wife and I for the way we treated their kids and how much it meant to them.

I have noted that looking at the kids that way does frame my view of those kids differently. They're just a part of the family, no matter how they became part of the family. I have NO doubts I'd be able to treat an adopted kid just like my own.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Uhhh... FWIW, some of us aren't. Your abusive assh*le types that wind up beating the sh*t out of their step-children (or worse)? I'd bet money that they're wrestling internally w/ exactly that issue. Because those guys have a much less-developed id/ego/super-ego balance, though, they're not able to get a handle on it.
> 
> And of course there's also the story of the Roman soldier returning home after years of being away at war... and promptly killing and burying his wife's infant child.
> 
> It happens.


Or the kids have similar traits to the biological fathers. One of my nephews sees his dad about twice a year but he is the spittin' image of him both physically and behaviorally.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lilac23 said:


> Or the kids have similar traits to the biological fathers. One of my nephews sees his dad about twice a year but he is the spittin' image of him both physically and behaviorally.


I'd imagine that this would be less of an issue when the biological father is never anything other than a stranger.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Lilac23 said:


> Oh, come on now, a sperm bank cant be that expensive. They're all over the place.


This isn't just the turkey baster process.

My last child cost $68K, $9.3K wasn't covered by insurance. Then I'm out what, $200K until she's 18?


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> Still, that's such an unnatural thing that there's probably not a strongly-developed instinct to guard against it.
> 
> I dunno... ladies?


Whose egg is the surrogate carrying? :moon:


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> I'd imagine that this would be less of an issue when the biological father is never anything other than a stranger.


He is basically a stranger.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

larry.gray said:


> This isn't just the turkey baster process.
> 
> My last child cost $68K, $9.3K wasn't covered by insurance. Then I'm out what, $200K until she's 18?


Then you are viewing it as you raising someone else's child and not your own.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lilac23 said:


> But it's not infidelity or cuckoldry, it's five seconds with a turkey baster. The wife would probably even be willing to let you watch and have a go before and after she uses it.


It's not _technically_ cuckoldry when the husband is aware of it.

Feels very similar, though.



Lilac23 said:


> Women can feel like that too, did you see the thread about the guy whose wife wouldn't consider donor eggs or adoption because it would make her feel like a failure? It's not just a 'man' issue.


Fair enough. And, honestly, I was quite surprised at my wife's reaction.

We've talked about it since, though, and she said that she realized that the only way that she was ever going to be able to be pregnant, carry a baby, etc was to use donor eggs. She's always wanted that experience.

Still, I think that women -- generally speaking -- are far more accepting of this than men.



Lilac23 said:


> Oh, come on now, a sperm bank cant be that expensive. They're all over the place.


That's not the expensive part. I don't know but yeah... that's probably relatively affordable, if not downright cheap. Well... unless you're using celebrity swimmers or something like that. :rofl:

The expense has to do w/ the actual medical procedure itself, plus the medications (HOLY CRAP!!!), and obviously all of the money that's already been put into travel, tests, etc up to that point.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Lilac23 said:


> Whose egg is the surrogate carrying? :moon:


I can see how that would make a difference.

Still, I think that women -- again, generally speaking -- are far more accepting of this than men.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Lilac23 said:


> Whose egg is the surrogate carrying? :moon:


You beat me to the question.

It matters, doesn't it?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Lilac23 said:


> Then you are viewing it as you raising someone else's child and not your own.


:scratchhead:

How do you get that? I have no reason in the slightest to doubt the paternity of my children. My 2nd and last are certain beyond any possible doubt as we were tracking the cycle and planned to be alone together for the entire fertility window.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

larry.gray said:


> :scratchhead:
> 
> How do you get that? I have no reason in the slightest to doubt the paternity of my children. My 2nd and last are certain beyond any possible doubt as *we were tracking the cycle and planned to be alone together for the entire fertility window.*


Damn.

That's hardcore.

Pun intended.

:lol: :rofl:


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

larry.gray said:


> :scratchhead:
> 
> How do you get that? I have no reason in the slightest to doubt the paternity of my children. My 2nd and last are certain beyond any possible doubt as we were tracking the cycle and planned to be alone together for the entire fertility window.


I wasn't impugning your wife's honor, I was pointing out that when it's your kid, you don't count the cost, but if it was not your biological kid, you were looking at the financial cost of it all.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

larry.gray said:


> You beat me to the question.
> 
> It matters, doesn't it?


It might, to some women. But a lot it would go away if you were the carrier.


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> I can see how that would make a difference.
> 
> Still, I think that women -- again, generally speaking -- are far more accepting of this than men.


:biggrinangelA:


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Lilac23 said:


> I wasn't impugning your wife's honor, I was pointing out that when it's your kid, you don't count the cost, but if it was not your biological kid, you were looking at the financial cost of it all.


Cost did weigh in on when I had children.

I'm in that range where it matters. I make enough that I don't get to take much in the way of deductions, etc. for my kids. Ironically if I earned less it would be less impacted by the kids' costs, and if I earned more it wouldn't be a problem.


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## hankthetank81 (Apr 9, 2016)

Yeah, I know nothing about ivf... Ivf is flawless and perfect and you can have a half unicorn baby if you please... Ivf takes a sperm and egg and combines them. Poof, voila, a baby is born from a dish. Here's some news for you, it still needs a healthy human ennvironment to carry to term which we are unsure if we have, and the costs are too risky for us to go down that road. We're already over a few thousand in over the past couple years trying to have children the old fashioned way with a little help. Unless insurance companies start paying for this, it's a bit out of our price range. If you want to come here and insult me, please refrain. I am in no mood. I have decided with my wife to wait until Friday night, her last day of teaching to inform her of the doctors news. This has been a rough journey for us. I will be picking up that book, I need something to read while I'm stuck home recovering.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hankthetank81 (Apr 9, 2016)

Wow, didn't realize how much talk was going on while I was sleeping. My last response was to someone saying ivf is a perfect process. Now I am caught up on all 4 pages. 

For me, I am the last of my family branch in the tree. Our blood dies with me. I want to see it go one more generation. I dated many women before I was married, one had a child. I saw what step kids did to some of my friends... I decided I couldn't deal with that "you're not my father" back talk. Or the false accusations they put on step dad to get him in trouble, one was locked up because the kid was mad stepdad wouldn't buy him a game so said he was being touched inappropriately. Took my buddy 2 years to get that straightened out because of the type of accusation and during that time lost his job since he was a teacher. Yes, that marriage is long ended. If it comes down to it we would adopt a baby. So many children in this world that need a home. Not before ruling out our ability to have our own child.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Sorry you are going through this. Tell your wife right away so you can focus on getting the next step. If you want to adopt then start working on that to get your minds busy and focused on more positive things.


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> You don't know a lot about IVF, do you?


It would seem I know a lot more than you, though.

My advice is correct. OP should save his emotion for therapy, and go for IVF. Parenthood is expensive anyways, he's just got to pay more up front.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Unicus said:


> It would seem I know a lot more than you, though.
> 
> My advice is correct. OP should save his emotion for therapy, and go for IVF. Parenthood is expensive anyways, he's just got to pay more up front.


LOL. You really don't.


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## Unicus (Jun 2, 2016)

OK, Gus, you're the boss.

Your experience is valid for you. It is not at all scientific nor should it be generalized onto others. 

Advice is best when we can use our experience as just that: Our experience. When we assume expertise we look foolish..you know, like John Candy.


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## hankthetank81 (Apr 9, 2016)

Gus, don't feed into unicus, they are a troll. It's obvious they have not been through nor understand the struggle. They come off as a certified doctor from teen mom television. 

Happilymarried25, we have to wait 3 months for the healing and effects of the surgery to take place before the next sample is analyzed. That's why I'm not rushing to tell her. My wife gets very emotional. I don't want this to screw up putting in final graded and ending this school year with her students. She is so hopeful and I don't want to take that away from her today and let it ruin the last 4 days with the kids. Bad enough it will fester in her mind all summer until I get retested in september. They doctor (a real doctor, not unicus) said that if we can get the count up to 6 million we can do some procedure which is just below ivf and our insurance covers. It's a long shot but we shall see. I have to get the count up first.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

hankthetank81 said:


> Gus, don't feed into unicus, they are a troll. It's obvious they have not been through nor understand the struggle. They come off as a certified doctor from teen mom television.


No worries, sir.

This ain't my first thread.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katiecrna (Jan 29, 2016)

Get as healthy as you possible can right now. Look up how to increase your fertility and start doing these things pronto. Tell your wife. And tell her what the plan is. There is still reason for you to be optimistic. Both of you need to get as healthy as possible or to increase your chances. Then have lots of sex, be healthy and start learning about your options. Don't waste anymore time.


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## red37 (Feb 19, 2016)

Just pray and have faith. The doctor told my husband that he was not going to be able to have children to, but now we have a beautiful healthy 8 month old little girl. Pray changes things. 

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## red37 (Feb 19, 2016)

I ment prayer changes things

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