# confidence - misplaced loyalty. M-I-L/hubby



## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

My H has a troubled relationship with his mom. She lied to him that his dad abandoned family so he lost relationship with his dad for 25 years when truth was she kidnapped my H and moved countries with him. She married an abusive man so my H was on his own since he was 15. Everything is fine with his dad now and he has a strained relationship with his mom. Well my H is at his stepmom's funeral. His dad and mom live in same city 800 miles away. His mom calls me and is upset that HER son, my H is listed as a son in the stepmom's obit. My H has made a good relationship with his stepmom since he found his dad 10 years ago and she considers my kids (from first and current marriage) all her grandchildren. MIL was saying other 'mean' things about my H on the phone to me. She asked me to keep them private, I don't believe them - do I spill all to H or shut up and keep the peace? If more details needed - I will explain further.
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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

I would have hung up on her. I would talk with husband and ask him what he wants concerning his mom. I would have little contact with her if any. She can't be trusted.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

Your MIL sounds like she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Her behavior of lying, depriving your husband of a relationship with his father, and her telling you bad things about him are all hallmarks of a malignant narcissist. 

I would encourage you to read up on NPD. These people do not have the ability to care about other people, including their children and their children's needs. The best way to deal with them is to have limited or NO contact with them. 

Your MIL is lucky that you even pick up the phone after how deeply she effed over your husband. Notice how it's always about her, even as it relates to someone else's death? NPD's are truly scary because they can look normal to most people.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Laurae1967 said:


> Your MIL sounds like she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Her behavior of lying, depriving your husband of a relationship with his father, and her telling you bad things about him are all hallmarks of a malignant narcissist.
> 
> I would encourage you to read up on NPD. These people do not have the ability to care about other people, including their children and their children's needs. The best way to deal with them is to have limited or NO contact with them.
> 
> Your MIL is lucky that you even pick up the phone after how deeply she effed over your husband. Notice how it's always about her, even as it relates to someone else's death? NPD's are truly scary because they can look normal to most people.


I did tell him. He found out other lies she told and I will find out and update. The thing that hit close to home is the death being about her.
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