# my husband wants me back...



## McGraw (Mar 2, 2009)

My husband wants me back. I was at our house and found receipts of his lunch and dinner escapades with his EA...he says its over with her, and that he will never talk to her again. He works with her, and he says he can't tell her not to contact him. I told him to cut all ties with her, change his #, and it would be a good idea to change jobs. I asked him to come clean, told him this was his last chance to tell me everything. He says this is all that happened; that he hasn't touched her, etc. I'm going out of my mind thinking about everything. He swears that he's going to change and make everything the best
it could ever be with me. We've been intimate, and it was the best in 13 years with him. What the hell am i supposed to do??! I'm staying with a friend, and he's been good to me. He's been a little wierd about things with my kids, etc. I go in and out of the getting my own place/staying frame of mind all the time. Sometimes I feel like a caged animal. My children are uncomfortable with him, and its making things a little uneasy. I love my husband, but how can I trust him again? I don't know if I'll ever be able to believe him again. I must sound like a lost soul...HELP!! (moog, where are you? need your advice)!!


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

your an easy target for him. he wil do it again. he knows u want him and thats why he wants you back.
home comforts.
she obviously couldnt give him everything he wanted. 
he knows how you work and operate physically and mentally.
he knows how to play games. 
basically he got ditched by her.
your more worthy than that.


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## McGraw (Mar 2, 2009)

Thanks, justean. I just don't know what to do...I want to believe him so much.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Protect yourself. If you want to work at it that is fine, but do so in a manner that is selfish. I mean selfish in the positive sense. You _should not_ trust him. You should continue to take steps that are positive for you, and do not involve him. Be prepared to kick his ass out at a moment’s notice. A very sad truth about these circumstances are; that if your partner can manipulate and deceive you for their benefit, they will – whether they intend to be malicious or not. I am going through a similar experience. My wife tells me that she could not fully commit to TOM because she still has feelings for me. That led me to believe that she would be willing to do whatever is required to heal the rift, but that isn’t the case. She has a direct working relationship with him – and will still see him and have contact with him on a regular basis. She insists that the contact is purely business, not personal – and she absolutely believes this should be acceptable. So once again, from her perspective, I am the one choosing to tank our chances. It’s a cheap, dirty, trick. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself in similar circumstances, and don’t buy whatever rationale he tries to pull.


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## kate_spencer (Feb 20, 2009)

Try to work it out again.. let him prove to you that he's willing to change.. you love him and he wants you back because he loves you and your kids. I'm not telling you to forget about what he did to you.. but he's there begging for your forgiveness, and asking for another chance. If you still love your husband, then your happiness is with him.. together with your children.
Marriage is a working relationship.. there's no perfect relationship because nobody's perfect. 
Have you tried seeking help from professional counseling.. and I guess your children need it too.


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

If he wants you back, he needs to earn you back by showing you that he can stick with whatever changes he needs to make. Just because he's begging doesn't mean he will change - it will probably take a bit of time to make sure that he can stick with it.


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## kate_spencer (Feb 20, 2009)

Leahdorus said:


> If he wants you back, he needs to earn you back by showing you that he can stick with whatever changes he needs to make. Just because he's begging doesn't mean he will change - it will probably take a bit of time to make sure that he can stick with it.


Yes of course, he has to do everything to earn her trust again.. and that will take time.. but how will he do that if he'll not be given the chance? He need that chance, and he just to prove to her that he's worth that chance..


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

He's already been staying elsewhere. I didn't say she should give up on him, just that he needs to work hard to earn her trust. She can let him do that and still be separated as they are now. If she means that much to him, any living arrangement should be acceptable to him while he makes the changes required.


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## kate_spencer (Feb 20, 2009)

Yes, he can still show and prove that he's changing and not living with her.. and he have to earn her trust again.. and their children.


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## McGraw (Mar 2, 2009)

Thanks. Read my most recent post...some of you may change your mind...I think I've lost him.


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