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## Oversenti (2 mo ago)

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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I believe he is commiting a crime by distributing videos and/or photos of you, in intimate situations, without your consent.

I would contact a lawyer without letting him know because he isn't your ally anymore. He is your enemy.

I'm sorry but this is what you are dealing with.

I'm furious for you and I sincerely hope you destroy him in a divorce while making sure your children are safe and yourself of course.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

What he is doing is a serious violation of your trust. He sounds out of control.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

Sadly your husband is very typical on many of those swinging sites, lots of creepy dudes acting like he's part of or acts as both parts of a couple. It is very creepy, very wrong, and I believe in most states a crime. I think cheating is defined differently in every relationship, but the fact you feel betrayed tells you based on your boundaries yes it is cheating. 

Few things you could do, Get screen shots for proof he shared these photos. Find out if sharing nude and or sexually explicit picture of someone without their consent is a crime. If so tell your husband if he ever does that again you will go to the police. Then create an account on the site if the site had a feature where you can leave a testimonial leave one saying you're his wife and he has been on there and sharing explicit photos of you with your consent. He will instantly be a outcast for every legit member of the site. 

Key is to get the proof that he did this. If you do decide to go for divorce a potential criminal charge hanging over his head should give you a solid position in the division of athletes. IMO nothing wrong with a little blackmail for a criminally creepy dude.


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## QuestionAssumptions (2 mo ago)

Does he realize that once you send intimate pictures or videos to other people that they can distribute them and they can wind up on pornography websites, where people you know might see them and it can mess up your life? Is your face clearly visible in any of those videos (or pictures, if he also sent those)?


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## Oversenti (2 mo ago)

No, none of them showed my face fortunately for me.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Now they’re out there. Neither of you has any control about who sees them. Do you really want to be with a loser like him?


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Oversenti said:


> No, none of them showed my face fortunately for me.


You can't undo the past. You can get him to destroy all the pictures and never allow him to photograph you again.

Good Luck


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## Oversenti (2 mo ago)

Openminded said:


> Now they’re out there. Neither of you had any control about who sees them. Do you really want to be with a loser like him?


logically, i want to say no. But the way this is coming up in my life out of nowhere, when in my mind we have been in a really good place is what causes me to feel heart broken since I love this guy who I’ve been with for a large part of my life. But I’m not sure how to deal with the betrayal and mistrust


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## QuestionAssumptions (2 mo ago)

Oversenti said:


> No, none of them showed my face fortunately for me.


You need to tell him to stop doing this immediately if you are uncomfortable or opposed to this and then make sure you get copies of all of the videos and/or pictures that he's already sent because, at some point, you may need to use them to search the internet (via "reverse searches") to find places where they are being shared to demand that they be pulled down. What he's doing may even fall under "revenge porn" (non-consensual sharing of pornography) laws in your state.

For more details, see:









State Revenge Porn Laws - FindLaw


Here is an overview of revenge porn laws by state including the statute or recently passed bill and penalties. Learn more information now at FindLaw's section on Sex Crimes.




www.findlaw.com





Share this article with him to make it clear to him how seriously bad what he's doing is, especially if it's illegal in your state. You may also want to threaten him with reporting him to the authorities if he refuses to stop, even if you are reluctant to do so. It's ultimately up to you whether you want to overlook this and stay with him but this is a seriously awful thing to have done to you and you could potentially have him arrested for it.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Oversenti said:


> logically, i want to say no. But the way this is coming up in my life out of nowhere, when in my mind we have been in a really good place is what causes me to feel heart broken since I love this guy who I’ve been with for a large part of my life. But I’m not sure how to deal with the betrayal and mistrust


Sadly, you both actually weren’t in a really good place after all. Love isn’t enough to make a relationship work. I think you’ll stay but you’re not likely to ever trust him the way you once did and you shouldn’t because you’ll never forget what he did.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

I don't know if your husband's actions amount to "cheating" but it's bad. Really bad. As others have stated it's at the very least a huge invasion of privacy. 

If he's unwilling to accept that his actions are a complete violation of trust and boundaries, and he refuses to get help then you're finished. 

From what you've posted he doesn't sound the least bit remorseful. He's probably only sorry that he got caught. If he hasn't cheated on you yet, he is (or was) going to.


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## Oversenti (2 mo ago)

Trident said:


> I don't know if your husband's actions amount to "cheating" but it's bad. Really bad. As others have stated it's at the very least a huge invasion of privacy.
> 
> If he's unwilling to accept that his actions are a complete violation of trust and boundaries, and he refuses to get help then you're finished.
> 
> From what you've posted he doesn't sound the least bit remorseful. He's probably only sorry that he got caught. If he hasn't cheated on you yet, he is (or was) going to.


what is actually interesting is that he is remorseful, ashamed, and constantly tells me he is so sorry. How he regrets doing this and he eventually was going to tell me since I am a very open and try to be non judgmental as possible but I’m afraid that maybe he will crave this his entire life and I am not able to satisfy that need for him


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## QuestionAssumptions (2 mo ago)

Oversenti said:


> what is actually interesting is that he is remorseful, ashamed, and constantly tells me he is so sorry. How he regrets doing this and he eventually was going to tell me since I am a very open and try to be non judgmental as possible but I’m afraid that maybe he will crave this his entire life and I am not able to satisfy that need for him


You clearly recognize this is a serious threat to your relationship and marriage and are worried he'll be able to control himself, and you know him better than any of us. That's not a good sign. You says he's remorseful, ashamed, and sorry and you also don't seem eager to dump him. Consider asking him if he's willing to go to counseling (individually and/or as a couple) to better figure out why he did this and to help him control himself.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

You should have him arrested - what he did is criminal and while he will not be locked up for long it will serve to remind him of the seriousness of what he did.


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

I just can't ****ing figure out what's wrong with many of today's men. They are such sad and pathetic excuse for a man. Sharing their woman in any form, as long as they get their kinks satisfied. Those are not real men in my book, and women should avoid these type of so-called men at all cost, unless they are one and the same in this type of moral turpitude.

OP, you should think long and hard if remaining with a man like your husband is in your best interests in the long run. He already threw you to the wolves without any concerns while getting his jollies taking care of at your cost. That's not a sign of a man that a woman wants to keep, trust, or depend on.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Oversenti said:


> what is actually interesting is that he is remorseful, ashamed, and constantly tells me he is so sorry. How he regrets doing this and he eventually was going to tell me since I am a very open and try to be non judgmental as possible but I’m afraid that maybe he will crave this his entire life and I am not able to satisfy that need for him


Girl, he is a criminal and exposed you to very real danger by trying to get you involved with people who you have no idea about.

He needs serious professional help at least and you seem to need it as well.

Do you not realize what he did?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Oversenti said:


> what is actually interesting is that he is remorseful, ashamed, and constantly tells me he is so sorry. How he regrets doing this and he eventually was going to tell me since I am a very open and try to be non judgmental as possible but I’m afraid that maybe he will crave this his entire life and I am not able to satisfy that need for him


It's amazing how many people are suddenly sorry when they get caught. This is a massive betrayal and as others have said, probably breaking the law. 
If you are going to stay I would make sure he deletes all photos/ videos of you and never let him take any again. He can't be trusted not to do something similar again.


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Oversenti said:


> No, none of them showed my face fortunately for me.


The internet is forever


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Just curious , have you and your husband ever had any conversations about swinging , wife swapping , trophy wife , 3 somes , sexless marriage...ect

I mean where did this even come from ?

Just out of the blue ? Seems to me there has to be a back story...


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## Oversenti (2 mo ago)

Jimi007 said:


> Just curious , have you and your husband ever had any conversations about swinging , wife swapping , trophy wife , 3 somes , sexless marriage...ect
> 
> I mean where did this even come from ?
> 
> Just out of the blue ? Seems to me there has to be a back story...


I know it’s vague. Trying to keep it short. He has a high sex drive and over time we sliced things up. I’m sure porn is involved to help with the high libido so I want to say it was curiosity that took over. Thrill/adrenaline that inclined him to move forward with his decision that he does say was a mistake to taint what we’ve built together


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## Jimi007 (6 mo ago)

Oh...and never , ever , let him take another video or picture of you again. In a provocative situation. 

I guess it is a form of cheating. It's definitely criminal. 

What are your thoughts going forward 🤔 ?

He might be sorry. But the trust is broken 💔 

Are you going to stay ?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Of course it is.


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

Oversenti said:


> No, none of them showed my face fortunately for me.


These are only the photos you know about, how about the photos your husband may have sent that you don`t know about.
This practice is a disturbing trend known as digital kidnapping.
Here is Thailand distributing anothers photo or photos of people without consent is illegal, especially if it discredits a person`s reputation or credibility.
The penalty is a mandatory 5 year prison sentence and a huge fine.
When a person creates an image in the United States, that image is automatically granted copyright protection. When an image has copyright protection, no one else can use the image without the owner giving permission. With these rules in place, you need to assume that there is copyright attached to any image you come across. Otherwise, you may face a court order, fines, or escalated legal action.
But a lot of this is fine law, depends on what types of photos and where and who they are sent to and what they may be used for.
Try conducting a photo search online such a google images or get legal advice.
Now you have to decide your way forward from here.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Do a Google image search. Make him give you every photo he shared, then search for them. If you find them, have him help you get them removed. You may need to get legal help if you find photos that you're having trouble getting removed. 

It doesn't sound like you're going to leave him, but please get professional help. What he's done isn't about his apparently high sex drive. This sounds more like sexual addiction. Pornography isn't helping matters.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


Oversenti said:



I don’t know how to feel or think. Is this what throws me over the edge?

Click to expand...

*So he's using YOU for chum on a swinger's site. What a prince this guy is, sending out your intimately *private* pictures and videos to complete strangers in the hopes of this pathetic POS getting some action on the side. Guys like him are a dime a dozen - these desperate fools bill themselves as a "couple" on swinger websites and use their wives' pics and videos to try to get all chummy with the locals. Of course, they also let it be known to all their new swinging friends that their wives are "completely fine with them going out and playing alone" because sometimes, "she's just too tired from work" or "we can't get a babysitter so she's fine staying home with the kids while I go out and play," etc., etc....  

If he hasn't met up with anyone yet, it's only because no one has *wanted* to bother with him "playing alone." Yeah, that's a shocker, I know. 

*



what is actually interesting is that he is remorseful, ashamed, and constantly tells me he is so sorry. H

Click to expand...

*That's not "interesting" at all. That's what they ALL do. You're making the mistake of thinking this guy is unique. He's NOT. He's a walking cliche of the millions of fools out there just like him who have been caught doing the same thing or a variation of it. He's not unique or special at ALL. Of course, he's _'sorry.'_ He wasn't DOING it to make you angry or to get himself kicked out of the house or dragged into divorce court. He was doing it to get a cheap thrill on the side with the hopes of you *NEVER* finding out. He's not 'remorseful' at all, and he's not ashamed. If he were EITHER of those two things, he would have shut down his dirty little profile after a day or two. *But he didn't*. He's just embarrassed and AFRAID of the consequences because you *caught* his worthless ass using you for bait and trying to get himself some side action, so of COURSE, he's "sorry."

Sorry he got _caught_, that is.

He's afraid of the CONSEQUENCES so he's going to tell you whatever he thinks you want to hear. But you sound like you're already falling for his _"I'm so sorry" _routine...has he cried those big crocodile tears for you yet? Has he proclaimed his love and devotion to you from the rooftops and told you how he never realized just how *much* you mean to him until right now when he's faced with possibly losing you? Has he sworn on your kid's lives that he's never cheated on you and this whole thing was just a crazy idea he should have never had? Did he try to blame his unacceptable low life behavior on being drunk or high or that his buddy at work told him to do it just to 'jerk' the locals around? All of these bull-**** excuses come from "The Cheater's Handbook, #101."

If he hasn't said or done any of these, eventually he'll tell you at least one or two of them. LOL. That's how damned predictable they are.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


Oversenti said:



I know it’s vague. Trying to keep it short. He has a high sex drive and over time we sliced things up. I’m sure porn is involved to help with the high libido so I want to say it was curiosity that took over. Thrill/adrenaline that inclined him to move forward with his decision that he does say was a mistake to taint what we’ve built together

Click to expand...

*So he's a dog in heat looking to get his jollies any way he can. Shocker.

There are millions of dogs in heat JUST like him on the internet looking for side action who are also SO SORRY when you catch them. Come on, do you honestly think he didn't KNOW what he was doing until now? And this bull-**** about "it was a mistake to taint what we've built together' is actually laughable. *That's *the garbage he's feeding you to lure you into pretending what he did was just a 'mistake?'

Stop being naive and take off the rose-colored glasses. This likely isn't Mr. Dog-in-Heat's first rodeo. It's just the first time you CAUGHT him.

Be on the lookout for a hidden burner phone. Now that you're monitoring him, he knows he can no longer use the same phone (or computer) he was using before.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

Oversenti said:


> logically, i want to say no. But the way this is coming up in my life out of nowhere, when in my mind we have been in a really good place is what causes me to feel heart broken since I love this guy who I’ve been with for a large part of my life. But I’m not sure how to deal with the betrayal and mistrust


Unfortunately, you don't really know who he really is. The "man" you love isn't who he really is, maybe who he has always been. He has betrayed you in a horrible way. As others have said, those pictures will exist somewhere on the web until the sun grows cold. And even without showing your face might be recognizable to others who know you. 

Very sad for you, it is terrible you have to deal with such, especially with two young children. At your young age, unfortunately believe it is time to terminate this relationship,


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


Jimi007 said:



He might be sorry. But the trust is broken 💔

Click to expand...

*LOL. Yeah, he's 'sorry' alright.

Sorry he got caught.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Oversenti said:


> No, none of them showed my face fortunately for me.


Now, this invisibility has spread to the opening post of your thread.

Like your face, it has become an unrecognizable, single dot.

I see you wanting to back away, to shrink from view.

The answers you have received here, are not to your liking.

Life is like that.

.........................................................................

How can anyone (especially, a stranger) soothe away a painful boil?

To rid of it, is to lance it, to stab it ....away.

Only then does the poison, the pus, drain away and out from your life.

I see that you love this man.
Love is blind to reason.

If you stay with him, you must abandon, all reason.

Thus, bow to his wishes, or stand tall against them.

There is no 'other', no 'else', no morally viable, alternate path.

Sorry.

Ach!

Sorry, seems run-away, and rampant these days.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Oversenti said:


> I know it’s vague. Trying to keep it short. He has a high sex drive and over time we sliced things up. I’m sure porn is involved to help with the high libido so I want to say it was curiosity that took over. Thrill/adrenaline that inclined him to move forward with his decision that he does say was a mistake to taint what we’ve built together


There it is, glaring and staring at you.
This porn view.

His new view.

Porn is a powerful aphrodisiac.

It shows you, and programs you to stare, and then to react, in kind.
Not, in kind ways, mostly.

To desire, what it is, your eyes see before it.


Porn shows you what you are missing.
Where, before, that missing was never a factor.

Porn is Pandora's box, opened and entered.
Guilt is never displayed.


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