# Marriage with a twist



## jjwilson3320 (Mar 24, 2021)

I am 64 and have been happily married for 39 years. We met after college and had 2kids,4 grandkids and life is good. We had sex until a few years after the kids came and it stopped. Neither one of us really minded because we enjoyed masturbation more. We would often masturbate for each other, but not touch each other. She did not like the sperm and I did not like her hairy triangle.

During one of our sessions, in our 20th year of marriage, we admitted our same-sex play in college, admitted we missed it, and sought to find willing people. We were open and shared our experiences, it has made our marriage stronger.

We have had same-sex with two different couples on a regular basis. 

Two questions:

Are we freaks? 
Are there others who also have this arrangement and it certainly is not discussed?
Thank you for any replies


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

You’re 64. What do you care what we or anyone thinks.

As long as it is with consenting adults and no puppies are being harmed and you aren’t getting arrested, knock yourselves out and have fun.


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## jjwilson3320 (Mar 24, 2021)

I appreciate your encouragement. We are doing what we want. We are curious if others are as well.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

jjwilson3320 said:


> I appreciate your encouragement. We are doing what we want. We are curious if others are as well.


Obviously there are others as there is another couple since they are also doing it with you. Do you think there is only one needle in the haystack named Earth and you just happened to stumble onto it? 

I’m not really meaning to be snarky but the facts speak for themselves, you found someone with similar interests to engage with you so there you are. 

Will any of the people on this site which is geared largely by people interested in traditional, hetero, monogamous marriage be into that or have similar interests?? Probably not.

But it’s your life, your marriage and your sexuality so as long as it is with consenting adults, who cares what we think.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

Definitely not our thing. Mrs. Maximus and I are monogamous, but we have our eccentricities and fetishes. We get into bondage and role-playing; my wife has a penchant for sex in public/inappropriate places. I’m sure some of our friends would think we’re freaks. Everyone’s somewhere on a spectrum and one man’s pleasure is another man’s “what the f*ck is your problem?”


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## DudeInProgress (Jun 10, 2019)

jjwilson3320 said:


> I am 64 and have been happily married for 39 years. We met after college and had 2kids,4 grandkids and life is good. We had sex until a few years after the kids came and it stopped. Neither one of us really minded because we enjoyed masturbation more. We would often masturbate for each other, but not touch each other. She did not like the sperm and I did not like her hairy triangle.
> 
> During one of our sessions, in our 20th year of marriage, we admitted our same-sex play in college, admitted we missed it, and sought to find willing people. We were open and shared our experiences, it has made our marriage stronger.
> 
> ...


1. Yes
2. In society at large, yes. On this forum, probably not many.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

jjwilson3320 said:


> Two questions:
> 
> Are we freaks?
> Are there others who also have this arrangement and it certainly is not discussed?


In my opinion the younger generation of folks have been exposed, better educated, and are more accepting of nontraditional forms of sexual orientation and relationships. I think you are now a member of an "polyamorous pod" as they would call it. 

You may find a website like this one interesting: Polyamory Weekly


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

jjwilson3320 said:


> Two questions:
> 
> Are we freaks?
> Are there others who also have this arrangement and it certainly is not discussed?
> Thank you for any replies


"Freaks" is purely a subjective term. So you will be to some, and not to others.

There are a few of us here that are into Ethical Non-Monogamy. And we have had discussions on this forum about it. I suggest looking up those threads.

Feel free to ask questions on those threads as well. We'll be glad to answer.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

badsanta said:


> In my opinion the younger generation of folks have been exposed, better educated, and are more accepting of nontraditional forms of sexual orientation and relationships. I think you are now a member of an "polyamorous pod" as they would call it.
> 
> You may find a website like this one interesting: Polyamory Weekly


A couple of details, and certainly not intended as criticism.

"Pod" is indeed one word used. But you will find others out there. Polycule, poly unit, simply poly, and many more. There are also words that describe specific configurations, depending on who is with whom and whether they cohabitate or not.

However, given the description, the OP is probably not poly. They have an open relationship, and, depending on definitions, are swingers, since they are married, even if the people they have sex with are not. Poly is typically considered to be about the romantic relationships, whether they are long or short term. Open typically indicates sex out side the romantic relationship(s).

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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

This doesn't fit with mankind's understanding of God's created concept of marriage. Sounds like years of unnatural sexual acts (masturbation) led you to into the more serious sins (adulterous, homosexual encounters).
Of course, we're all sinners- me included! Your story certainly demonstrates that small sins lead to bigger ones.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

jjwilson3320 said:


> I am 64 and have been happily married for 39 years. We met after college and had 2kids,4 grandkids and life is good. We had sex until a few years after the kids came and it stopped. Neither one of us really minded because we enjoyed masturbation more. We would often masturbate for each other, but not touch each other. She did not like the sperm and I did not like her hairy triangle.
> 
> During one of our sessions, in our 20th year of marriage, we admitted our same-sex play in college, admitted we missed it, and sought to find willing people. We were open and shared our experiences, it has made our marriage stronger.
> 
> ...


First I think you're both very lucky that you both found someone so compatible. I think there are probably a lot of people out there just like you. The fact you are both into the same things and seem to have great communication about it only means you'll continue to be happy.


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Go for it! Imagine how much fun you could have had if you started sooner!


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## jjwilson3320 (Mar 24, 2021)

maquiscat said:


> "Freaks" is purely a subjective term. So you will be to some, and not to others.
> 
> There are a few of us here that are into Ethical Non-Monogamy. And we have had discussions on this forum about it. I suggest looking up those threads.
> 
> ...


As you suggested, I read much about ethical non-monogamy. I never knew anything. I believe that is what has happened to us. Most of the reading I see is a husband or wife taking another opposite-sex partner. I believe there are many non-son sexual non-monogamy specifically with a husband having an FWB. I practiced it until we moved to our new ethical non-monogamy. I did not know it existed as a thoughtful and logical practice. I just saw a website of stories about this very practice. Couples, happily married, agreeing to be non-monogamous separately and together, often watching the joy the same-sex partner brought that the opposite sex-partner did not, could not. I do not want to break rules and offer a website, but there were more than 15 stories. I cannot believe I went from asking if I was a freak, to find that my wife and I are sane, logical people who have been in love and are still in love. Thank you for the information, it has made us feel so happy to find this.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

jjwilson3320 said:


> As you suggested, I read much about ethical non-monogamy. I never knew anything. I believe that is what has happened to us. Most of the reading I see is a husband or wife taking another opposite-sex partner. I believe there are many non-son sexual non-monogamy specifically with a husband having an FWB. I practiced it until we moved to our new ethical non-monogamy. I did not know it existed as a thoughtful and logical practice. I just saw a website of stories about this very practice. Couples, happily married, agreeing to be non-monogamous separately and together, often watching the joy the same-sex partner brought that the opposite sex-partner did not, could not. I do not want to break rules and offer a website, but there were more than 15 stories. I cannot believe I went from asking if I was a freak, to find that my wife and I are sane, logical people who have been in love and are still in love. Thank you for the information, it has made us feel so happy to find this.


Glad I can help. Again. Feel free to ask questions. If I don't know the answer, odds are I can point you to a source.

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