# Just...down...



## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

It isn't my relationship with my husband that has me down right now...it's my career. I'm trying to figure out a way to sum up a long story (16+ years worth) of how it all went downhill. 

I always had big plans in my latter years of high school. I swore I would be self sufficient, and I am. I swore I was going to make something of myself, and at first it seemed like I did. But the rotten powers-that-be at work ruined it all with their poor management skills and selfishness when it comes to placing people, i.e. putting complete [email protected]#holes in prestigious positions because those coveted positions are off in a small, nice, clean office somewhere else far away from them. Which is exactly why I am in a crap position right now and someone with about 1/8th my experience in that area is now the "leader" of that area yet I keep having to explain to this person how to do their job because they don't know. 

In my career, which is prototype, the group of people I'm in were treated like the cream of the crop...we were important and respected by managers and engineers alike. Shoot...we are engineers, though lacking the degree that makes it official. You wouldn't believe how much reverse-engineering goes on in that place! Engineers come to us with an idea about something, and we bring it into fruition and make it real. So much of the time we have to tell THEM how stuff works and design the parts ourselves. But really, it's all a team effort. We work together, and I love it. To me, I was important to the future of the company. It felt good. Validating. 

That all changed when some big hot shot new manager came in and decided that we weren't so important, because he really didn't have a clue as to what we really did. He just saw dollar signs and how much we got paid and decided the company only needed 1/3rd of us. People got laid off, the workplace went to sh!t, new managers were brought in, new supervisors made, and all of them started treating my group like we were a bunch of beggars or something. Like they were only keeping us on for charity. Started sending all our work out to job shops. Stopped buying us the state of the art equipment we always used to get. Let our computers go obsolete, stopped replacing our equipment and keeping it updated. Basically, everything stopped moving forward about 6 or 7 years ago and some stuff even went into reverse. Technology got set back 10 years. Black and white printers replaced color printers, and now everyone has to share one or two printers in the whole building. Yeah...everything has been downsized to the extreme and even though the company is back on the upswing from the economy taking a dump, we aren't. We are still treated like red-headed step children (I love red-heads by the way. I don't know why that phrase came into being). 

To make a long story short, I used to look forward to going into work, and now I dread it. I used to feel a sense of accomplishment and proud of my career, and now I don't. It's impossible to because the new management makes it impossible for me to do a good job because I have to work with broken equipment, little to no crew, and even though I got a "promotion" to a leadership position, it seems like I'm still just a glorified worker. I'm still doing the same work I did when I was just a regular worker only more of it, and added responsibilities as well, so it just tripled my workload when before my position would garner less physical labor and more project managing, talking to engineers, doling out the work to others. More desk work, less physical. And don't get me wrong, I was a hard worker and overachiever so I never would shun hard work, but I felt I earned that promotion and the perks that were supposed to go along with it. They didn't come along with it though, so I feel taken advantage of. 

The only redeeming factor about my career now is the paycheck, and that is unfortunate because I used to love it. I know I could quit and try to get a more fulfilling job, which I thought I already had, but I will never find the pay I'm getting now. But I often wonder if the stress, depression, and anxiety is worth the paycheck. 

If I told my husband any of this, I would get (and I'm sure some of you are also thinking this), "Just be thankful you have a good paying job. I'm sure a lot of people out there would take your position in a minute!" yeah, I know this. But I'm just wore out and disappointed in the direction it ended up going. I also think I'm starting to become allergic to some of the materials we work with...I'm having weird break-outs on my arms and legs and get sinus infections a lot more than I used to. The place I work at is dusty, dirty, grimy, and also another thing the company cut are cleaners so it is always like that. So I haven't been able to wear shorts or short sleeve shirts for a couple of years. 

So it's all just bothering me right now and I'm having trouble sleeping. So what do you do when your job starts feeling like a prison sentence but you can't give up the paycheck?


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## jenniferswe (Apr 23, 2012)

think most people went through this. In high school we have big dreams. We get out into the working world planning on doing a great job for the companies we work for then find out how dysfunctional management is. Then stress sets in and we find out why our parents hated their jobs so much. I've been through it and know what you're talking about. I don't know what to tell you that will help. All I can say is to hang in there until retirement.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Exactly, Jennifer. I always thought if you work hard and show your bosses you are an achiever and to-getter that you would earn the position you strive for...and it was a big let down to learn that that wasn't the case at all. It is more common where I am for completely incompetent jerks to rise in the company and get what they don't deserve instead of you.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Definitely time to look for another job.


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