# How do you do a 180 on a WAW?



## Mo42 (Jul 25, 2013)

This is from Bagdon's long thread about finding out his wife is planning on leaving him:

Let me tell you, I know exactly how you feel, my wife is a WAW, its been going on 5 months now, it does get easier, but it takes time. I will also tell you my wife said she was DONE DONE DONE. I started the 180, and guess what, she's calling me know, she's asking for MC. DO NOT PANIC, this is far from over, but if you let your mind go there, your body/mind/actions will follow. You need to spin EVERYTHING INTO A POSITIVE right now, and yes I know how hard that is to do.

You need to put a plan down in your mind, believe none of what you see, and 50% of what you hear right now. Make sure you eat, and get your sleep. Hit the store and buy a bottle of Melatonin, take a couple before bedtime, it will help you sleep. Get into some IC as soon as you can. 

Right now, your letting your mind take over, read, study, *remember the 180. Learn it, live it!! *Try like he!! to implement it into your life, if you fall off, start it right back up. NO MATTER WHAT, do not take any of whats coming personal, its NOT. She's gonna be rewriting the marriage to try to justify things in her mind, but in her mind she thinks nothing is wrong with that. You are going to wait this out. Your going to beat yourself up. DONT. Just think of it like someone kidnapped your wife, replaced her with this double, and you have to wait till they bring her back."


Now, I dont think my wife is going to leave me, but the lack of sex, sexual attraction on her part, overall stress/frustration with daily life affecting our closeness--

I would like to know if there is a 180 you can do on your wife to draw her to you, make her more attracted, etc.

I am in shape, work out 3-4 days a week, very lean, so i do have that part down. Where is the 180 plan referenced in the above post and what exactly is done to implement this? 

TIA. 
Mo


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## DaytoDay (Jun 23, 2013)

Usually, a WAS has a litany of complaints. Not just ranting ones at the moment, but things throughout the M. What are your W's? These may be things that were not resolved but that simply aren't brought up anymore. 

For example, perhaps she used to complain about you leaving your shoes in the middle of the hallway for her to trip over in the dark, but you never modified that habit. Instead, she simply dealt with it by picking them up herself and so she doesn't bring it up anymore. That doesn't mean it isn't a problem anymore, it just means that she's more comfortable picking them up herself than tripping over them, all the while building resentment because you are acting like a child and don't pick up your own %[email protected]$% shoes.

What are the problems that lead her to become this way?


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Mo42 said:


> Now, I dont think my wife is going to leave me, but the lack of sex, sexual attraction on her part, overall stress/frustration with daily life affecting our closeness--
> 
> I would like to know if there is a 180 you can do on your wife to draw her to you, make her more attracted, etc.
> 
> I am in shape, work out 3-4 days a week, very lean, so i do have that part down. Where is the 180 plan referenced in the above post and what exactly is done to implement this?


The 180 is here.
The Healing Heart: The 180

However, it is meant for dealing with a spouse who has checked out of your marriage. If your wife still loves you, only less than she used to, the 180 is overkill. It may push her away.

I would recommend Athol Kay's MAP. The Mindful Attraction Plan is meant to make you more attractive to your wife. Check out his website at Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits. and look for his books (Mindful Attraction Plan and/or Married Man Sex Life Primer) on Amazon.

Good luck.


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