# Exposing to OMs wife



## travelking (Jun 4, 2014)

On the fence about this-my wife cheated with a Married father of three. I confronted her, we reconciled but she continues to talk to him. Ive already decided to file for divorce and let her parents know (they are deeply religious and will be disappointed in her), but my question is should I let this guys wife know? They only have been married 2 years and have 2 young babies together-this scumbag was texting my wife while his wife was in the other room. A good friend of mine who is an attorney said why expose and add drama to your life. Also said this guy could be the type to seek revenge on me or if he is a wife beater could do that too. Anyone else have "success" exposing affairs to the OM spouse?


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## AtMyEnd (Feb 20, 2017)

travelking said:


> On the fence about this-my wife cheated with a Married father of three. I confronted her, we reconciled but she continues to talk to him. Ive already decided to file for divorce and let her parents know (they are deeply religious and will be disappointed in her), but my question is should I let this guys wife know? They only have been married 2 years and have 2 young babies together-this scumbag was texting my wife while his wife was in the other room. A good friend of mine who is an attorney said why expose and add drama to your life. Also said this guy could be the type to seek revenge on me or if he is a wife beater could do that too. Anyone else have "success" exposing affairs to the OM spouse?


Well if you truly think that the OM could be a danger to you, his wife or maybe even your own wife, it may not be the best idea to expose what's going on. If you've decided that you're going to divorce your wife over this and that nothing is going to change that, then there really isn't a reason to cause more drama. The biggest reason most people expose the affair to the other spouse is as a way to end the affair. If you're divorcing regardless of if the affair continues or not, what's the point? Yes the OM's wife deserves to know, but is all the drama you're going to cause by doing it worth the headache?


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Wouldn't you want to know?

Don't do it until your divorce is final.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Yes.

Expose to everyone simultaneously so she has no opportunity to try and spin the story.

If it were me, and I thought I was reconciling but she was still contacting her AP, I would do my best to have her served in as public a place as possible, while simultaneously exposing far and wide. 

But then again, in the case of infidelity, I can be a bit vindictive.


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## travelking (Jun 4, 2014)

Agreed-Im not necessarily worried for my safety at all-I just hate knowing this ****boy is walking around texting my wife saying how honest he is with her (my wife), telling her he would never lie to her while his wife is in the other room. Plus would you not want to know if the situation was reversed? I feel empathy for her since they have been together only 2 years and have children together. A part of me wants some type of revenge, the other part of me feels really bad for her. Another part of me wants my wife to feel like **** that she is doing this to her family-we have a 7yo and a 1.5 yo and its buggin me she risking her family for what?


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Why didn't you do it before? Not exposing an affair takes away another set of eyes to help you monitor in the OBS. Not only that, it is protecting the WS from consequences of her actions.

Also, do not under any circumstances tell her how you know that they are still in contact. Don't ruin your means for monitoring.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

EXPOSE to OW.
.........................................................................................
Fear...

Fear of what others will think, what others will do.

This cripples progress.

It allows bullies to rule the world.

Stand up and defend your honor, your' families honor. 

POSOM has already punched you in the gut...You are still standing.

Wishy washy people get trampled. Or die waiting for somebody to save them.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

Yes, expose to OM's wife. He will lie to her about it so show her text messages if you have saved them. Sometimes the betrayed spouses go into denial so be prepared for that. All you can do is share the information, which is the right thing to do. 

Good luck and sorry you are in this situation.


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

OP Do not listen to anybody that tells you not to inform the OMs wife..! Ask yourself this would you want to know yes.! And if you don’t tell your enabling the affair. His wife needs to know what a scumbag her husband really is. Also so she can make decisions for her own life too. Plus you’ve got another set of eyes watching out for you. So she needs to be informed right now.!


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

Expose. She deserves to know who her lying cheating husband really is. The POS is not going to try and get revenge. For starters he will be too busy begging his wife not to divorce him. Secondly revenge on his part makes him the obvious suspect. His wife will know before he knows she knows and she will protect herself accordingly if he is that sort of person, Not your problem.

The people who seek revenge in these situations are those betrayed not the other way around. Google it. Statistically he should have more to fear from you and his wife, not the other way around. Women have access to knives and boiling water while cheating husbands sleep soundly. Not unheard of. Expose then drop a subtle hint here and there to that effect. You will not be bothered and she will have a choice as to whether she wishes to remain married to a cheater. It is the right thing to do.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

If your wife continues to talk to her AP, you are not reconciled. She is still in the affair.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Pleaseeeeee. Regardless of D or R, the other spouse need to know. I would of more than welcomed that late night phone call. It's not about revenge, it's about Truth. Ok, it is a little bit about revenge, so what.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

One of the most amazing things I ever witnessed was how, when my wife was committing adultery, many other people who would have called themselves my "friends" spoke not one word to me about any of it.



RWB said:


> I would of more than welcomed that late night phone call. It's not about revenge, it's about Truth.


Amen. Families, innocent children are in the balance here...and make no mistake about it....there will be collateral damage.


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## travelking (Jun 4, 2014)

I was gonna wait till Friday to file for divorce but **** it im doing it today-because Im in a rage right now where I cant take this ****-was gonna try to play it cool and act like nothings wrong but im too mad right now and the fact that im literally watching them text each other as I type this is making me mad as ever-whats worse is she texting me she misses me as she texting him man what a *****


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

travelking said:


> On the fence about this-my wife cheated with a Married father of three. I confronted her, we reconciled but she continues to talk to him. Ive already decided to file for divorce and let her parents know (they are deeply religious and will be disappointed in her), but my question is should I let this guys wife know? They only have been married 2 years and have 2 young babies together-this scumbag was texting my wife while his wife was in the other room. A good friend of mine who is an attorney said why expose and add drama to your life. Also said this guy could be the type to seek revenge on me or if he is a wife beater could do that too. Anyone else have "success" exposing affairs to the OM spouse?


She deserves to know. So long as your country's laws allows this kind of approach, then I think you should do it. 

She needs to get herself tested for STDs (as do you) because if your wife thinks that she was his only adulterous lover interest, then she really need to cut back on the Unicorn Milk Shakes.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

travelking said:


> I was gonna wait till Friday to file for divorce but **** it im doing it today-because Im in a rage right now where I cant take this ****-was gonna try to play it cool and act like nothings wrong but im too mad right now and the fact that im literally watching them text each other as I type this is making me mad as ever-whats worse is she texting me she misses me as she texting him man what a *****


Before you take action make sure you are financially protected.

Carry a VAR with you to record anything she says to you.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I think you should go ahead and file and I also think you should expose to his wife.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

travelking said:


> I was gonna wait till Friday to file for divorce but **** it im doing it today-because Im in a rage right now where I cant take this ****-was gonna try to play it cool and act like nothings wrong but im too mad right now and the fact that im literally watching them text each other as I type this is making me mad as ever-whats worse is she texting me she misses me as she texting him man what a *****


Stay calm no matter how mad you are. Does your wife know how you are collecting information on what she is doing? If it is in a way that she does not know you may not want to reveal that to your cheating wife just yet. 

You need to provide the OM's wife with proof otherwise he will deny. What proof do you have that you can share with her?


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## travelking (Jun 4, 2014)

TX-SC said:


> I think you should go ahead and file and I also think you should expose to his wife.


Im doing both-I was gonna fall back and monitor the situation for a week and expose her at counseling next week-but im not putting myself thru this mental torture-im watching another man call my wife baby and its making me crazy


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

travelking said:


> Im doing both-I was gonna fall back and monitor the situation for a week and expose her at counseling next week-but im not putting myself thru this mental torture-im watching another man call my wife baby and its making me crazy


Good for you! Stand up and take control of this ****ty situation!


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

How are you watching it?


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## travelking (Jun 4, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> How are you watching it?


Whatsapp web-see my wife thinks im dumb-so when she was in the shower i turned on whatsapp web and been monitoring all weekend-at first I thought she had really ended but she just changed his name to one of her gfs names but with his profile pic-what an idiot-if you gonna cheat do it right


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## Primrose (Mar 4, 2015)

Please expose. 

My ex-husband's OW's brother exposed to me. Our situation is a little complex because we were all very close friends, but, to this day, I am forever grateful that he told me. He put aside the fact that he was outing his own sister because he felt I deserved to know so that I could make an informed decision on the future of my marriage. 

If he could do it, so can you! Just be sure to send all evidence that you have to the OM's wife so that there is no chance of the OM twisting the story around.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

travelking said:


> Agreed-Im not necessarily worried for my safety at all-I just hate knowing this ****boy is walking around texting my wife saying how honest he is with her (my wife), telling her he would never lie to her while his wife is in the other room. Plus would you not want to know if the situation was reversed? I feel empathy for her since they have been together only 2 years and have children together. A part of me wants some type of revenge, the other part of me feels really bad for her. Another part of me wants my wife to feel like **** that she is doing this to her family-we have a 7yo and a 1.5 yo and its buggin me she risking her family for what?


*All for the proverbial piece of strange, my friend!

I'm finding myself over in the encampment of those who want total disclosure to all parties!

If you're concerned about the safety of the OM's wife, have a private detective do it for you for a small fee!

Notwithstanding, you don't need to be her "Plan B" anymore! Go file for divorce and also for custody of your kids, so that she'll have ample time for slathering all over that newfound "strange" of hers!*


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

travelking said:


> Whatsapp web-see my wife thinks im dumb-so when she was in the shower i turned on whatsapp web and been monitoring all weekend-at first I thought she had really ended but she just changed his name to one of her gfs names but with his profile pic-what an idiot-if you gonna cheat do it right


Gotcha, you might have mentioned that and I missed it. 

Stay calm. Keep watching. Keep records. Don’t confront yet. Be ready for anger and rage when you do. 

It’s a hard thing to see, but the more you see, the more convicted you’ll feel in your decision. 

Expose to his wife, she deserves to know.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

travelking said:


> Im doing both-I was gonna fall back and monitor the situation for a week and expose her at counseling next week-but im not putting myself thru this mental torture-im watching another man call my wife baby and its making me crazy


*I could give you a name or two to call the POSOM, but doing so would undoubtedly bring out the "TAM ban hammer" and summarily get me extricated from this most pleasant place!*


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Yes.
Share all this with his wife. Immediately! 

You have an inviolate moral obligation to share this information with her. Do it today. Now! 

Every moment you wait, you condemn her to a life of ignorance--ignorance that has serious implications for her. You know. You need to know. -- So does she. It's unfair not to bring her up to speed.


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## travelking (Jun 4, 2014)

I mean I have more than enough evidence-been watching her for 2 weeks now and shes real sloppy about covering her tracks-i have at least 50 screen shots and 2 pictures of them together-i have him talking all sorts of **** about his wife and him saying he loves mine etc-at first I was sad and emotional about it-now im ****ing angry cus che sat up in church with me yesterday holding my hand like she gave a **** about me-unbelievable her mom is gonna chew uher a new ass and her dads gonna disown her-they take honor serious


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

Since you have screenshots of her deception I would expose and have your wife served at the exact same time. Once you have your wife served and share the screenshots with OM's wife it does not really matter if your wife finds out you are watching her deception. 

I know it will be really hard to do this . Waiting. But you really get the maximum affect of shock. The other man's wife seeing the evidence and the fact you have had your wife served will leave little wiggle room for her cheating spouse to deny. The other man's wife will then monitor his behavior and your wives allusion of magnificent love will vaporize like the Cassini spacecraft that just turned into gas entering Saturn's atmosphere. Only then will your wife know you mean business and then if she is truly regretful and remorseful for her actions would you possibly consider reconciliation. It's your call. It puts you in the driver's seat on where your marriage is heading.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

travelking said:


> I mean I have more than enough evidence-been watching her for 2 weeks now and shes real sloppy about covering her tracks-i have at least 50 screen shots and 2 pictures of them together-i have him talking all sorts of **** about his wife and him saying he loves mine etc-at first I was sad and emotional about it-now im ****ing angry cus che sat up in church with me yesterday holding my hand like she gave a **** about me-unbelievable her mom is gonna chew uher a new ass and her dads gonna disown her-they take honor serious


Right. You're fully armed with incontrovertible evidence. So what are you waiting for? The time to act has arrived.


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## AtMyEnd (Feb 20, 2017)

travelking said:


> I was gonna wait till Friday to file for divorce but **** it im doing it today-because Im in a rage right now where I cant take this ****-was gonna try to play it cool and act like nothings wrong but im too mad right now and the fact that im literally watching them text each other as I type this is making me mad as ever-whats worse is she texting me she misses me as she texting him man what a *****


So do you have a hijack app on her phone that you're seeing all the texts? If that's the case, screenshot all of it, after your wife is served with the divorce papers, simply send the OM's wife an email with all the texts attached to it. You can even send it from a bogus email account if you don't want it traced directly back to you. And then make sure you save all those messages and whatever else you have for the divorce hearing, lol


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## Melrose8888 (Jan 1, 2017)

Waaaaait a minute!!

The OMW is a human being, too. Think how much of a shock it has been to you finding out. It needs to be done but it needs to be done with empathy.

Firstly, continue to collect the evidence. Use this to get the best divorce deal you possibly can.
Protect yourself financially - stop joint credit cards etc.
Then file.

As for telling the OMW, I would just drop her a private email (via Linked In / Facebook etc.) along the lines of 'I don't know if you know why I am contacting you or not but it would be good to talk, here are my details. If you do know why and would prefer not to talk, I respect that'. You might be surprised to learn she might already know...

Stay strong and use that anger to get the best deal you can and then go find someone who deserves you.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

No, don't tell the OM's wife so that she can keep sleeping with, depending on, trusting, and wasting her life with a man that's cheating on her and putting his own despicable urges ahead of the people he supposedly "loves". Also, don't tell OM's wife because it might hurt his feelings and he has been so good about not hurting yours.
Last of all, don't expose him because then OM's world is going to be all screwed up like yours and your wife won't be able to have him text her because OM is going to dump her so he won't be out all the dough he's going to lose in the divorce. She will wind up being shown just how unreal her rainbow and unicorn land with her OM is, and how she really wasn't valued as highly as she thought she was by him. 
Why would you want to do that to her?

No, don't expose.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

travelking said:


> On the fence about this-my wife cheated with a Married father of three. I confronted her, we reconciled but she continues to talk to him. Ive already decided to file for divorce and let her parents know (they are deeply religious and will be disappointed in her), but my question is should I let this guys wife know? They only have been married 2 years and have 2 young babies together-this scumbag was texting my wife while his wife was in the other room. A good friend of mine who is an attorney said why expose and add drama to your life. Also said this guy could be the type to seek revenge on me or if he is a wife beater could do that too. Anyone else have "success" exposing affairs to the OM spouse?


Expose.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

travelking said:


> I mean I have more than enough evidence-been watching her for 2 weeks now and shes real sloppy about covering her tracks-i have at least 50 screen shots and 2 pictures of them together-i have him talking all sorts of **** about his wife and him saying he loves mine etc-at first I was sad and emotional about it-now im ****ing angry cus che sat up in church with me yesterday holding my hand like she gave a **** about me-unbelievable her mom is gonna chew uher a new ass and her dads gonna disown her-they take honor serious


Other than a sex tape not much else to add. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ... pull the trigger. With all that you have I reconsider what I stated earlier. Blow it up. Make sure the church knows too. Other men's wives deserve to know she cheats with married men.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

You are mistaken about what your wife's parents are gonna do. She's going to make you out to be a monster and in order to keep from having to think of their daughter as a disgusting cheater who lacks ANY honor, that not only busted up her own family, but another family with 2 young children------- any guess who will receive the blame for this? It's going to be YOU. The more evidence you provide them, the more angry at YOU they will become. 
The OM will tell his wife you're a looney bird and you are a liar. Your evidence had better be inexplicable.

I say again. Your wife's parents will not disown her. She'll likely get her back patted and told it was a shame her bad husband (YOU) caused her to stumble. Soooooo be forewarned so it doesn't hurt your feelings when it happens. Or at least hurts less.


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Yes her parents will be mad at her at first.

But trust me blood is thicker than water.

By the time the divorce is over, you will be public enemy #1 
with her parents.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Broken_in_Brooklyn said:


> Expose. She deserves to know who her lying cheating husband really is. The POS is not going to try and get revenge. For starters he will be too busy begging his wife not to divorce him. Secondly revenge on his part makes him the obvious suspect. His wife will know before he knows she knows and she will protect herself accordingly if he is that sort of person, Not your problem.
> 
> The people who seek revenge in these situations are those betrayed not the other way around. Google it. Statistically he should have more to fear from you and his wife, not the other way around. *Women have access to knives and boiling water while cheating husbands sleep soundly. Not unheard of.* Expose then drop a subtle hint here and there to that effect. You will not be bothered and she will have a choice as to whether she wishes to remain married to a cheater. It is the right thing to do.


Uh, oh! and Yikes!

A sleeping giant, a cheater, slain by a tiny wood Nymph.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

Do an Anthony Weiner and expose.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

If the grandparents are stupid and foolish enough to hate the OP for not reconciling and divorcing her who cares? Of course in the beginning they may try and blame him and be disappointed in the whole situation but if they continue to hate in the long run who cares? In the long run it is their loss, no one else's. He is still the father, and as such he has much much more sway over his children than idiot grandparents.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

All this "blood is thicker than water" assumption is just speculation. Most parents will instinctively stand by their children, but many are also able to rise above their blind instincts. We have no idea here--we don't know how strong the religious convictions involved are. Many a pious parent has refused to support a wayward child. We just don't know.

But how the parents react is completely irrelevant to the core question here. Exposure must take place, regardless of the reaction it may draw.


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## intuitionoramiwrong (Mar 18, 2014)

How long ago did you first find out and confront her? Just curious about how long you've been dealing with this.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Not just the OMW

Also the OM family brothers, sisters, parents, relatives too old to handle the news

Facebook, linkedin, 

Work, church, friends

Let him know that his kids will find out when they turn 18.

Don't warn or threaten anyone.

Expose all at once.

He waged war against your kids and should have known better.

Send him a copy of the movie "unforgiven"

Tamat


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I can't see any good reason to gather more evidence. I would have her served for divorce and notify the OMW on the same day. When your wife complains, just say: "I'm doing this for you! You guys love each other so I'm helping you to be together forever!"


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

Expose to his wife, she deserves to know.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

keep your records in a safe place.

give a copy to your attorney.

you could save some money and stop the counseling. It is a waste when she is still in the A.

I do like protecting yourself with a VAR. and drive her over the OM's house. She can stay there with the OM and his wife.

Tell her to get tested for stds. and expose , expose and expose.


then DNA the your kids.

how would she feel if you had an A?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Enquiring minds want to know...


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## Jus260 (Mar 24, 2016)

travelking said:


> I was gonna wait till Friday to file for divorce but **** it im doing it today-because Im in a rage right now where I cant take this ****-was gonna try to play it cool and act like nothings wrong but im too mad right now and the fact that im literally watching them text each other as I type this is making me mad as ever-whats worse is she texting me she misses me as she texting him man what a *****



I don't have any advice. I just want to throw a fist for taking back control of your life before reaching the bottom of the first page.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

travelking said:


> On the fence about this-my wife cheated with a Married father of three. I confronted her, we reconciled but she continues to talk to him. Ive already decided to file for divorce and let her parents know (they are deeply religious and will be disappointed in her), but my question is should I let this guys wife know? They only have been married 2 years and have 2 young babies together-this scumbag was texting my wife while his wife was in the other room. A good friend of mine who is an attorney said why expose and add drama to your life. Also said this guy could be the type to seek revenge on me or if he is a wife beater could do that too. Anyone else have "success" exposing affairs to the OM spouse?


Never been in that situation, but agree with your friend the attorney. 

You may owe your in-laws and explanation, if you are close to them, but it might simply be that they should ask their daughter and after she tells them her side of the story, you would be happy to tell them your side of the story. Parental love is one of those things that is such that they may forgive her of anything and never contact you again.

Good luck on your life post divorce, you will be fine.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

harrybrown said:


> keep your records in a safe place.
> 
> give a copy to your attorney.
> 
> ...


Agree with all except the STD test and driving her to the OM house..

If he is divorcing her like he should, why should he care what disease she has pick up? She is OM's problem now.

Just tell her to leave your home since she has left the marriage. Let her find her own transportation to where ever she likes.

Also he should separate finances and cancel any joint bank cards before filing to make sure she cannot run off with all the family assets or run up a big credit card bill.


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## Rick Blaine (Mar 27, 2017)

Travelking,

You are doing a terrific job of taking control of this situation. If only more betrayed husbands were as assertive and strategic as you. You have saved yourself a lot of anguish by your decisiveness.

When you expose, you need to expose to the other man's wife and to you and your wife's close friends and family. You need to do this exposure at the same time. Do not trickle expose. I strongly recommend that you speak to the other man's wife by phone if you can get her number. There is no guarantee that she will get your message if you e-mail it or leave a voice mail message. Plus your message can get intercepted by the POSOM. Speaking to her directly will allow you to be sympathetic and kind, but you need to simply present her the facts and what you know. 

As far as her parents go, there is no telling how they will respond, but you will need to let them know what happened or else she will spin the story. (If they question your honesty, let them know you have evidence that they can see for themselves.) My in-laws were supportive of me when I discovered my wife's infidelity, but they continued to support my wife as well. I have stayed in a relationship with them because of my children, but it is a limited relationship. Some of her half-siblings no longer talk to my ex-wife because they are angry at what she did and no longer respect her, and I am closer to them. Regardless of how your in-laws respond, they did not do this to you; it is your wife's doing. But your in-laws become a very important part of the picture if you decide to recover your marriage. Here is why. Affairs are like addictions. Once a wayward is in, it becomes hard to put down the crack pipe. That's why she is able to be nice to you at church and then go right back to him. If you desire to fight for your marriage, I wouldn't hesitate to ask her friends and family to persuade her to end the affair and work with you on the marriage. You see the addiction is so strong that it sometimes takes exposure and the shaming of others to help the wayward spouse end the affair. This plea for support should be a part of the letter you send to them exposing her affair. Once exposure has been completed, your wife will go ballistic. She will be furious about exposure and try to blame-shift and use emotional blackmail. Stay calm and don't let her anger panic you. Simply tell her that you exposed the truth to enlist support for your marriage. No need to apologize or expound. Ignore it, and be a broken record: "I'm sorry that your choice to have an affair has cause us both so much pain. I hope that you are willing to take the necessary steps to recover our marriage and rediscover the marital bliss we once had." No more, no less. Broken record if she tries to bait you into an argument.

If you decide to divorce her, then that too is your prerogative. But I would still expose the affair. 

I hope that you have friends and families around to support you at this terrible time. Once you have made your decision about how to proceed, you will need to also take care of yourself. Exercise is one of the best ways to combat the depression that comes with being a betrayed spouse. Take care of yourself, friend.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Just wanted to add, I am 100% on board with exposing to OM's wife, but please be gentle. Sometimes in our anger at the AP - we expose with anger and malice because we want the AP to hurt too. But we don't always think that we're also hurting another person in the process. I know when I exposed to my husbands AP's husband, I wasn't very gentle because I was incredibly angry. I just got ahold of him and blurted it out. Thinking back, I really didn't think much about his feelings, I just wanted to hurt HER. He took it pretty well and was very decisive, but I still didn't really think about his feelings at all. 

Now that I've been contacted by his AP, who apologized to me (which I think is BS, but that's a story for another time) being on the receiving end of that kind of news is very devastating. The message popped up on my phone at work, I could read a few lines of it and it honestly made me instantly sick to my stomach and I damn near had a panic attack.

Please be gentle with the delivery. Her world is going to blow up too. And as a woman, anger probably won't be the first thing she feels, rather it will be hurt and devastation.


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## Mizzbak (Sep 10, 2016)

Travelking, 

"Do unto others..."
As someone who was the OM's wife, I am still incredibly grateful that my husband's AP's husband exposed their affair to me. My only regret is that he didn't do it sooner when he first got suspicious. Because then it would have stopped sooner, and perhaps caused less damage. I didn't care that his motives weren't that pure and that he was primarily doing it to hurt my husband and shame his wife. I cared that someone was actually prepared to tell me what they knew of the truth. (From my perspective, I even felt that I owed him some loyalty. So where I could help him (with new information etc.) without jeopardising my family, I was prepared to do so. ) As @LosingHim says, be gentle if you can. But all you really need to tell or show her is the truth of what you know to be fact. 

To a WS, an affair is a tumultuous place of romance, hormones, adrenalin and entitlement all neatly cocooned in secrecy. Exposure on both sides whips those secrets away and lets the sordid reality out to "shine" ... And the sooner that you can get sunlight in there, the better for all concerned. 

I am sorry for how you feel right now - know that it will end.


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## eric1 (Apr 10, 2015)

Rule #1 of infidelity is to expose the instant you have undeniable proof

Rule #1a is to not tell your wife you're doing it. Not only will she warn him but when she comes to you all mad that you did it it is a smoking gun about No Contact violation.

Don't ever ever let her know that you can see her WhatsApp


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I don't think it's the betrayed spouse's responsibility to be "gentle". I think one should just be plain and simple. You never know how the AP's spouse will react. Just do it. Let them worry about what they do with the info. It's none of your business if they ignore it, excuse it, divorce over it, shoot the messenger (ok, maybe this), or whatever. 

Respect other people and bring it like you'd have it brought to you. That's all you can do. But be plain and be prepared to show evidence. It's likely they won't want to believe you. That is probably common.

Exposing the truth to a person that has no clue, is an act of kindness. Hope that she sees it for what it is.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Exposure should be done without warning so they can't get together and cover each other.

Do not help them hide their affair. You didn't cause this but the truth will help you long term.

The other mans wife is currently living a lie. He and your wife destroyed their family, etc.

Sorry man

You're are way ahead of most so don't let up.

I suspect you've now see the depth this has gone especially pics of them together. There is only one conclusion.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I believe the OM's wife should be told, and I believe that affairs thrive "in the dark" and shrivel up and die in the light of day. 

HOWEVER, in some countries, if you expose your spouse's affair incorrectly it can result in criminal prosecution. As an example, in the U.K. the protection from harassment act prohibits a person from pursuing "a course of conduct" which "amounts to harassment of another" and which "he knows or ought to know amounts to harassment of the other". Another section in that act defines harassment more clearly: it's the offence of "putting people in fear of violence" where a person "causes another to fear, on at least two occasions, that violence will be used against him" provided "he knows or ought to know that his course of conduct will cause the other so to fear on each of those occasions".

So in the U.K. if you email your wife's sexual chats to the OM's wife, her mom and dad, your mom and dad, and the OM...she could clam that you pursued a course of action that you should have known she would view as harassment, that put her in fear of violence to herself and OM, and that since you sent four emails it would be more than two occasions. BAM--possible criminal charges, and nope the fact that it's true does not mean the charges are dropped!

There are two comonly used defences: ... the course of conduct is pursued for the "purpose of preventing or detecting crime" or "reasonable for the protection of himself or another or for the protection of his or another’s property."

Thus, I advocate exposing, but I just as strongly advocate researching the laws WHEREVER YOU ARE and making sure that the way you do the exposing is within the laws. It profits no one if you expose but you end up in a legal "He Said/She Said" having to defend yourself. That's unwise. Instead just look up the laws were you are, read them yourself so you understand, and then act accordingly.


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## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

Just know that betrayed spouses react differently to the news. Most refuse to believe it at first. Don't be pushy and expect her to react with anger and rage the way you expect. If she says to leave her alone, respect her wishes, but leave her your contact information if she will take it. She may get in contact with you latter when she has time to think about it or she may not. Regardless, once you have exposed the affair to her, your duty as an honest person is done.

Some betrayed spouses refuse to believe it and demand that you leave them alone. Some say they suspected something but had no proof. Some will say they knew what was going on and with whom, they just could not make up their mind on what to about it. Be ready for anything and don't react angrily if your expectations of how she reacts surprises you.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Definately expose to all. You must offer up consequences to both your wife and the OM. If you don't you will be viewed as weak.


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## travelking (Jun 4, 2014)

Update-so as I went to file for divorce, I made sure I called her mother and let her know what kind of daughter she raised. I let her know explicit details and didnt hold back. To be honest, dont really care how her parents react because like some say blood is thicker than water-its not like they will disown her. As I walked the stairs to pay the court fee to divorce I hesitated, almost leaving until I read a text message confirming they had slept together, he ate her out and worst she sucked his d*** all in a jacuzzi--which likely means they didnt use protection-(making an appt with my pcp tomorrow)-so I calmly went to the window and paid my fee-not gonna lie the **** hurts and I still have a shred of love for her, but she would rather be a side chick then a wife-so be it. Im also hiring one of the top family lawyers in the state to assure I get joint custody. As far as telling his wife, I think Im gonna let him sweat for a little while. I have more than enough evidence in multiple places via email, screenshot, on thumb drives, etc and they are explicit. Im sure she will spin this on me, but at this point I truly dont give a **** about anything she says. Thank you all for your support and advice-not really on the fence anymore-and she gonna realize how she ****ed up when the sherriff shows up at her job to serve her the divorce papers


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## travelking (Jun 4, 2014)

she also within the last 5 minutes just deleted the texts that I have screenshotted-


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Primrose said:


> Please expose.
> 
> My ex-husband's OW's brother exposed to me. Our situation is a little complex because we were all very close friends, but, to this day, I am forever grateful that he told me. He put aside the fact that he was outing his own sister because he felt I deserved to know so that I could make an informed decision on the future of my marriage.
> 
> If he could do it, so can you! Just be sure to send all evidence that you have to the OM's wife so that there is no chance of the OM twisting the story around.


Damn.

He sounds like a helluva guy.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

travelking said:


> she also within the last 5 minutes just deleted the texts that I have screenshotted-


Is it possible she is reading this thread on a family computer?


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## eric1 (Apr 10, 2015)

Don't let him sweat. Hit him hard and hit him now. I've seen things as far as video proof get explained away.

Do it before she gets papers. Hit hard and hit now.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

travelking said:


> As far as telling his wife, I think Im gonna let him sweat for a little while. I have more than enough evidence in multiple places via email, screenshot, on thumb drives, etc and they are explicit.


As soon as he realizes you’re divorcing (and he probably already does, because you called your MIL, who probably called your wife, who likely told him), OM is going to start cooking up all kinds of stories that he can use to gaslight his wife.

“She’s just a friend.”

“Nothing happened.”

“Her husband is crazy, that’s why she’s divorcing him.” (See what I did there?)

So be ready to combat all that, and effectively.

Oh, and do some research in order to make sure that exposing won’t get you into all kinds of legal trouble; if, for example, you live in the UK, expose _anonymously_.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Broken_in_Brooklyn said:


> Is it possible she is reading this thread on a family computer?


He called her mom and exposed to her, mom no doubt called her daughter. Stbx will work diligently to destroy/erase all evidence and warn the om if she follows the script. 

Travelking when you get home make sure to keep your emotions in check, you've got the upper hand right now, don't blow it by threatening her or giving her an excuse to call the cops.


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

travelking said:


> she also within the last 5 minutes just deleted the texts that I have screenshotted-


Then she called OM.

Gus and others are warning you. Expose now.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

GusPolinski said:


> As soon as he realizes you’re divorcing (and he probably already does, because you called your MIL, who probably called your wife, who likely told him), OM is going to start cooking up all kinds of stories that he can use to gaslight his wife.
> 
> “She’s just a friend.”
> 
> ...


^ This is exactly what will happen. I expect this to play out as Gus pointed out. 

Also, your wife will first be all weepy and deny everything, then it'll be a mistake that never should have happened, then it'll be your fault. She will go into defense mode and start turning this into how she is a victim of your abuse. She will try to turn friends and family to her side. Her family: expect them to buy it. Your family: should take your side. Friends: this is your chance to see who is a real friend and who is not.


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

travelking said:


> Update-so as I went to file for divorce, I made sure I called her mother and let her know what kind of daughter she raised. I let her know explicit details and didnt hold back. To be honest, dont really care how her parents react because like some say blood is thicker than water-its not like they will disown her. As I walked the stairs to pay the court fee to divorce I hesitated, almost leaving until I read a text message confirming they had slept together, he ate her out and worst she sucked his d*** all in a jacuzzi--which likely means they didnt use protection-(making an appt with my pcp tomorrow)-so I calmly went to the window and paid my fee-not gonna lie the **** hurts and I still have a shred of love for her, but she would rather be a side chick then a wife-so be it. Im also hiring one of the top family lawyers in the state to assure I get joint custody. As far as telling his wife, I think Im gonna let him sweat for a little while. I have more than enough evidence in multiple places via email, screenshot, on thumb drives, etc and they are explicit. Im sure she will spin this on me, but at this point I truly dont give a **** about anything she says. Thank you all for your support and advice-not really on the fence anymore-and she gonna realize how she ****ed up when the sherriff shows up at her job to serve her the divorce papers


I like everything but making him sweat. Just call his wife and let her know now. She deserves the truth and having this all fall at the same time will have maximum impact.

Create a tsunami of truth that neither of them can deny or explain away. The longer you wait, the less impact it has.

Trust us....do it now. We haven't been around here this long without learning a thing or two about how this plays out.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

I also agree that you should tell the OMW as soon as possible. Don't give them any extra time to make up a story.


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## Welsh15 (Feb 24, 2014)

Expose, its what I did 3-6 months after the affair ended. I even got the POS to correspond with me via email and sent it to his wife thereby incriminating him. What a moron he was. Lats I checked, she stayed with him, her decision...


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

This is easy. Print the screenshots and emails so that they are a little packet. Make three copies: one you keep in a deposit box in the bank, one you will put in an envelope and send to the OMW, and one you can keep at home in a locked drawer as a reference. [Edited To Add: also keep the thumbdrives OFF PROPERTY like in a locked drawer at work or in the deposit box at the bank so they can not be damaged or destroyed.]

You don't have to call the OMW or hand everything to her in person. Just pick two ways that you can tell her--for example, an email with attachments and a letter with printed copies that's sent so she has to sign it. You can give her (the OMW) a heads up that you are sending her a letter that she can not let her husband see so she knows it's not collections. And that's all you have to do. Usually exposure is to put an end to the affair in the event you were thinking of reconciling. Since you are NOT thinking or reconciling, the only person you really have an obligation to is the OMW so she can make an informed decision for herself.


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

What I would do is STFU!!! Not a word about what, who, how you know. Just say "soon" when she starts with her crap. You're in control now. You got this.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Other man isnt sweating he's glad to get the time to cover himself by your indecisiveness. You made the mistake of not doing this upfront so you're going to repeat?


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

Marc878 said:


> Other man isnt sweating he's glad to get the time to cover himself by your indecisiveness. You made the mistake of not doing this upfront so you're going to repeat?


I disagree. Travelking has hired a lawyer and has filed. Very decisive in my book.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Expose.

Pose your Ex.

Pose her on Facebook.

Bible in Right hand, POSOM's penis in her left.

Switch hands if she is left handed.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Let us know her reaction after being served.

Served Justice on Toast.


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## travelking (Jun 4, 2014)

my wife is not the type to show emotion-in her eyes she has to win at everything because she is so ****in competitive, she came home an hour ago and hasnt even come to say anything to me as though Im at fault. I hope this doesnt damage my next relationship but it probably will and unfortunately it probably will because I will be guarded and someone who really does love me will suffer


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

Stop that. If you are waiting for an apology forget it. She is in the fog dude. In her eyes she thinks its your fault that she cheated. Apology is not happening.

And if she does open her mouth to blame you call the other man's wife and put her on speakerphone. 

Once all this mess is over and you have had the time to recover your next relationships will be fine. Decent fine women will recognize that you have been wounded and will take their time with you accordingly. But honestly the next gal is really the last of your worries. You have enough on your plate now.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You messed up poor muffins game. This is who she is.

A lying deceitful cheater who though she could have her cake and eat it too.

Believe who she's shown you she is


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

You're waiting for an apology?? Will that make you feel better? Will that apology erase the pain and anger you're feeling? Will that apology make your kids lives any easier? I tell you what, how about you wait for your wife and OM to both apologize. I mean obviously they were just having a little bit of fun, who knew this would hurt you so? What is this, the sixth page and almost everyone has said to expose and why. What have you done, filed for divorce and called mom in law. How did your mom in law respond? Didn't sound like they were as upset as you thought did they? 

Yes, I'm writing to light a fire under your ass. Who do you think your wife is conspiring with? It's not you. For all you know your wife met with OMW TODAY to tell her how crazy and controlling you are. That you have accused her of having an affair and controlling who you can be friends with. She probably told her you are getting divorced, note it doesn't say who filed!! Exposure isn't to be sugar coated, be civil, that's it. To be clear, be civil to the other betrayed spouse. After that, everyone is a sworn enemy, and you expose to your family and your wife's. Do they work together? Tell their HR if it doesn't have repercussions in you. 

When you filed, did you lost adultery and the name of OM? If not have your lawyer change it first thing in the morning. Exposing gave a second set of eyes to my case. Best PI I never hired, and the cost was even better.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

travelking said:


> my wife is not the type to show emotion-in her eyes she has to win at everything because she is so ****in competitive, she came home an hour ago and hasnt even come to say anything to me as though Im at fault. I hope this doesnt damage my next relationship but it probably will and unfortunately it probably will because I will be guarded and someone who really does love me will suffer


You'll be fine. Just realize that your wife is a broken person. The next lady in your life will probably be an awesome partner for you. You can't fix your wife's issues and you can't take responsibility for them either. Your next partner also should not pay for your wife's sins. However, it's much too early to be talking about that. First, get this woman (your wife) out of your life.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

You'll never get an apology, not a real one, anyway.

I'll never get one. Hundreds of posters here will never get one.

Focus on what you CAN control. Let go of what you can't.

Save everything in storage that she can't access.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Rick Blaine said:


> Travelking,
> 
> You are doing a terrific job of taking control of this situation. If only more betrayed husbands were as assertive and strategic as you. You have saved yourself a lot of anguish by your decisiveness.


At of this time of your post at least, the OP (Travelking) hasn't hit D-Day yet. When he has confirmation and confronts - then things change. When you know your family unit is fracked - then its offical. Then emotions really go wild.

Things happen fast, way to fast. Emotions and situations escalate quickly.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

travelking said:


> Update-so as I went to file for divorce, I made sure I called her mother and let her know what kind of daughter she raised. I let her know explicit details and didnt hold back. To be honest, dont really care how her parents react because like some say blood is thicker than water-its not like they will disown her. As I walked the stairs to pay the court fee to divorce I hesitated, almost leaving until I read a text message confirming they had slept together, he ate her out and worst she sucked his d*** all in a jacuzzi--which likely means they didnt use protection-(making an appt with my pcp tomorrow)-so I calmly went to the window and paid my fee-not gonna lie the **** hurts and I still have a shred of love for her, but she would rather be a side chick then a wife-so be it. Im also hiring one of the top family lawyers in the state to assure I get joint custody. As far as telling his wife, I think Im gonna let him sweat for a little while. I have more than enough evidence in multiple places via email, screenshot, on thumb drives, etc and they are explicit. Im sure she will spin this on me, but at this point I truly dont give a **** about anything she says. Thank you all for your support and advice-not really on the fence anymore-and she gonna realize how she ****ed up when the sherriff shows up at her job to serve her the divorce papers


- DO not make him sweat too long. That gives them time to write their story about how you are crazy... and he will be prepared to intercept you from telling his wife. If possible, tell his wife about the same time your wife is served - if you feel you should wait. And that is only if your wife is being served tomorrow. Otherwise, don't wait.

Is he a co-worker? Have her served at work. The process server will send you a text or call you when he made delivery. So when you get that call/text - you contact the POSOM's wife.
Your wife will blow up your phone.

Have your VAR ready. On your body when your wife interacts with you. What she tell you today, will not be what she tells others later... and she may accuse you of assaulting her.

Filing for divorce? No lawyer? I'mConfused. He should file.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

drifting on said:


> You're waiting for an apology?? Will that make you feel better?


"I'm sorry - I accidently fell onto his penis."


She isn't sorry Travelking. She is pissed off that you busted her. So she is blaming you for catching her red-handed or whatever...


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

TaDor said:


> *"I'm sorry - I accidentally fell onto his penis."*
> 
> 
> She isn't sorry Travelking. She is pissed off that you busted her. So she is blaming you for catching her red-handed or whatever...


*I do believe for a fact that "Accidentally Falling Onto Erect Penises" is indeed the main event at the Cheating Wives Olympiad!

@travelking 's cheating old lady is just pi$$ed that she failed to take home the gold medal!*


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

travelking said:


> On the fence about this-my wife cheated with a Married father of three. I confronted her, we reconciled but she continues to talk to him. Ive already decided to file for divorce and let her parents know (they are deeply religious and will be disappointed in her), but my question is should I let this guys wife know? They only have been married 2 years and have 2 young babies together-this scumbag was texting my wife while his wife was in the other room. A good friend of mine who is an attorney said why expose and add drama to your life. Also said this guy could be the type to seek revenge on me or if he is a wife beater could do that too. Anyone else have "success" exposing affairs to the OM spouse?


Expose, the OM's wife ought to know. She is still young enough to move on with her life, not find out 15 years from now when he has done it again, and he will.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

travelking said:


> I was gonna wait till Friday to file for divorce but **** it im doing it today-because Im in a rage right now where I cant take this ****-was gonna try to play it cool and act like nothings wrong but im too mad right now and the fact that im literally watching them text each other as I type this is making me mad as ever-whats worse is she texting me she misses me as she texting him man what a *****


Travel King, I am so sorry, but calm down, do not act rashly, play your cards with stealth and cunning. Expose to OM's wife and the same day file give your wife the papers and then tell her parents and everyone, family, friends, etc. I hope you have kept copies of all the evidence, in case your wife decides to rewrite history. I hope you have talked to a lawyer, properly? Do not act rashly.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

travelking said:


> she also within the last 5 minutes just deleted the texts that I have screenshotted-


I hope you have kept everything safe?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*EVERYONE* has told you what a horrible decision is to sit on your hands and NOT expose the OM to his wife.



travelking said:


> As far as telling his wife, I think Im gonna let him sweat for a little while. I have more than enough evidence in multiple places via email, screenshot, on thumb drives, etc and they are explicit.


*Foolish, foolish decision.*

You're just stalling at this point.

You said YOURSELF you saw iron-clad evidence of them screwing around in a hot tub and that's what drove you up the stairs of the courthouse to sign the divorce documents. So what more evidence do you NEED to expose him to his wife?

Stop stalling and do the right thing.

Don't you realize that you're giving him AMPLE TIME to do damage control and completely *discredit* you to his wife? While you're 'making him sweat,' you're just giving him all the time in the world to convince his wife you're a psychotic, paranoid nut-job who mistakenly thinks he had an affair with your wife, and he'll tell her to avoid you like the whack-job you are. He'll also tell her how you doctored up texts to appear to look like they came from him and how you Photoshopped pictures to make it look like he was with your wife.

Cheaters are the biggest *LIARS* on the planet and will stop at virtually nothing to cover their pitiful asses.

All you've done by not exposing him to his wife is give him a good head start. That's ALL you've done.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> *EVERYONE* has told you what a horrible decision is to sit on your hands and NOT expose the OM to his wife.
> 
> 
> *Foolish, foolish decision.*
> ...


:iagree:
When she's right, she's right. Read and heed. And more importantly, stop stalling and making excuses. Act!


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Yes you are doing great so far.

Expose! before they weave a web of lies


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

You literally have the power to destroy his life right now. It probably doesn't feel all that great knowing that exposure is going to hurt lots of people but you are not the cause of that pain so don't feel like it's your responsibility to try to mitigate the affect. The pain is squarely on their shoulders not yours. All hell is going to break loose, as it should in this situation. You are not at fault.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Affairs wither and die when exposed to light. Do so, as the rewards definitely outweigh the risks. From any point of view, this is best for YOU.

Once that is accomplished, I have one or two caveats for you. Your wife, as you have described is "win at any cost" individual. That, per se, concerns me. I have been involved in situations where one spouse builds a convincing circumstantial case for abuse allegations that literally shattered the husband, and blew his custody case out of the water. Avoidance of this will require that you are at all times in posession of a voice activated recorder. If your home is wired for security, ensure that all cameras are functioning and that you have secure media for recording. I cannot stress how important this is. You appear, at present, to be in a game of one upsmanship, ultimately leading to the dissolution of this marriage. If she is as described, then you need to arm yourself against the inevitable.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

travelking said:


> my wife is not the type to show emotion-in her eyes she has to win at everything because she is so ****in competitive, she came home an hour ago and hasnt even come to say anything to me as though Im at fault. I hope this doesnt damage my next relationship but it probably will and unfortunately it probably will because I will be guarded and someone who really does love me will suffer


You will survive brother!


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

travelking said:


> On the fence about this-my wife cheated with a Married father of three. I confronted her, we reconciled but she continues to talk to him. Ive already decided to file for divorce and let her parents know (they are deeply religious and will be disappointed in her), but my question is should I let this guys wife know? They only have been married 2 years and have 2 young babies together-this scumbag was texting my wife while his wife was in the other room. A good friend of mine who is an attorney said why expose and add drama to your life. Also said this guy could be the type to seek revenge on me or if he is a wife beater could do that too. Anyone else have "success" exposing affairs to the OM spouse?


Afraid that the man who helped destroy your life might want to get revenge on you? Letting his wife know is the least you can do. Always keep in mind that you would likely be very thankful to OM's wife for telling you if the roles were reversed.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

arbitrator said:


> *I do believe for a fact that "Accidentally Falling Onto Erect Penises" is indeed the main event at the Cheating Wives Olympiad!
> 
> @travelking 's cheating old lady is just pi$$ed that she failed to take home the gold medal!*


It works for men too...

I accidently fell onto his penis.

or 

I accidently fell into her vagina.


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## dianaelaine59 (Aug 15, 2016)

OK, I don't get it, I'm a woman and if my husband cheated on me, the FIRST person I'll be calling is her husband!!

Absolutely NO hesitation, because I'm pissed, and not only that, he's definitely GOING to know!!!

He definitely DESERVES to know!!!

of course, the lawyer might be the first person I call, but I don't know, most likely both on the same day, if not the same hour!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Doc Who (Sep 9, 2012)

You may think you have achieved a strategic advantage holding this over the OM's head, but you are just kidding yourself to rationalize your fear. OM knows that you have not yet exposed and that you are too afraid to ever do so. You are afraid of exposing because of something, most likely your wife's anger. 

And that is no way to live life.

You know that you need to contact OM's wife. Otherwise, you would not have posted. You just hoped someone would come along and give you affirmation of a really bad decision you had already made.

But the good news is that it is not too late to learn to respect yourself and do the right thing.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Satya said:


> You'll never get an apology, not a real one, anyway.
> 
> *I'll never get one.* Hundreds of posters here will never get one.
> 
> ...


I am sorry for hurting your feelings, Satya...

There! You got one apology out of us Curmudgeons.
..............................................................................................

Don't tell anyone else I apologized. Martians never do that..

Just Sayin'


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## dianaelaine59 (Aug 15, 2016)

So you went and made another thread, to avoid doing what you can't bring yourself to do. 

Poor other woman .... I feel sorry for her. Living day to day loving her husband, having sex with him, never knowing that he's loving and having sex with someone else. Ugh!!!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Another tread? 

Not doing what needs to be done. Sorry everything sucks for you Travelking. But we've all been there. Being pro-active is the best thing you can do.

Don't do favors for your wife and her boyfriend. Just thing... her boyfriend is likely banging out wives as well, and spreading STDs to everyone.


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## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

As a coach, I always was on the watch out for false bravado. My team saying what they were going to do to the other team and what not. Then, game time would come and at the first sign of trouble they would fold. They didn't really believe in themselves. You need to get going. You blew it when you got mad at seeing her texts and exposed to her mother. What you should be doing is taking decisive action behind the scenes and getting your ducks in a row. Then crush them. Have her served in the most public way possible. Then expose to all. You want her to come to you begging when she is a Narcissist who has to win over all? The way to beat a Narcissist is to bring the heat and then go no contact. That is what will drive her crazy. She is waiting for you to buckle under to her. To hell with that. Expose far and wide to all (including OMS) at the same time. Then be hard to find. Ever read SpaceGhost0007's story on SI? SurvivingInfidelity.com - Thought we had a good marriage
Its a lesson in courage.


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