# i dont find her attractive anymore..



## Diesel_Bomber (Mar 17, 2013)

We've been wmarried almost two years, and as time has passed she's packed on some weight. A lot of it. I'm a big time fitness buff and I take excellent care of my body. I love growing lean strong muscle. Well anyway she said she was going to take her daughter out for walks which is a start but I don't see much effort that that. It just turns off the horny meter when I see pockets of fat. Her personality is also abrasive which I figured one would cancel out the other, not here. I also know she's desperate to have a baby when we aren't even close to being ready financially. Been pressurimg me to the point I want to get my balls cut. She's a little on the crazy side, and my baby mommw is a raving lunatics....so there's red flags there too. Is it shallow of me to wish she would go for a run...do some squats...I find time 3 days a week to go train......
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

You are telling her what to do/trying to change her.

Approach it from another angle. Tell her that your attraction is lowering by the day and you are losing it for her. This SHOULD give her a good warning.

If she loves you or is a decent woman, she will consider this fact and do something about it. 

If she gets aggravated and pulls the whole "you didn't just call me fat" card.....your answer = she doesn't give a damn about you being attractive to her or not.

Her reaction will be the key here......

You should be able to tell her exactly how you feel. Just don't be aggressive or negative about (how you communicate it is important).

If she is not willing to change and this is a deal breaker for you, you WILL have to act on it.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

How much is:

..."some weight. A lot of it."
?


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## TikiKeen (Oct 14, 2013)

"my baby mamma is a raving lunatic"....does this mean you also have a child by another woman, a woman who you deem unstable? If so, that's telling of something within you that might need attention: your "picker".


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

TikiKeen said:


> "my baby mamma is a raving lunatic"....does this mean you also have a child by another woman, a woman who you deem unstable? If so, that's telling of something within you that might need attention: your "picker".


Not much worse than a broken picker.


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## justtryin (Apr 22, 2013)

Obviously you are putting more weight on looks than on personality (haha I couldn't help myself).

I question why you married her. You don't much like who she is as a person, and you married her because you figured her body would offset her personality? 

Yeah dude, that is incredibly shallow. 

That's fine to be that way, just own it and be upfront about it, don't go marrying people without that understanding between the two of you. Why put her through this. Let her go before you have children, absolutely. Let her find someone who values her for who she is, and you can find someone who shares your values too. Or stay single and keep trading in for a new model.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MoonBay (Mar 10, 2013)

Diesel_Bomber said:


> We've been wmarried almost two years, and as time has passed she's packed on some weight. A lot of it. I'm a big time fitness buff and I take excellent care of my body. I love growing lean strong muscle. Well anyway she said she was going to take her daughter out for walks which is a start but I don't see much effort that that. It just turns off the horny meter when I see pockets of fat. Her personality is also abrasive which I figured one would cancel out the other, not here. I also know she's desperate to have a baby when we aren't even close to being ready financially. Been pressurimg me to the point I want to get my balls cut. She's a little on the crazy side, and my baby mommw is a raving lunatics....so there's red flags there too. Is it shallow of me to wish she would go for a run...do some squats...I find time 3 days a week to go train......
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Was your wife in shape before you got married? Or was this fitness kick something new you wanted her to implement after marriage?

Have you tried working out with your wife? Jogging, light cardio, and light weight strength training might be a good start. Just nothing too heavy that would discourage her. Try to find some things that she might like exercise-wise and do them with her more.

If her not being in shape is a deal breaker for you, you should sit down and honestly tell her how you feel. If she doesn't want to change then part ways so you can both find partners better suited for your lifestyle.

Also,

*DO NOT HAVE KIDS WITH HER RIGHT NOW.*


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

OP:

Here's a post of mine from a while back. This is what my husband did for me when I gained a lot of weight:



> Golf I will tell you what my H did and maybe something will help. When we married I was voluptuous. My H played fb and bb in high school and has stayed fit ever since. LOVES working out. Lean but muscular and need to eat to keep his weight UP. First year of marriage from cooking and eating a lot I cross line from voluptuous to overweight to plump. I do the constant complaining about my weight and yo yo diet and look at him eat and say it's not fair that I can't eat that much.
> 
> My H tells me all the time that the extra weight does not bother him. The more he said that the more I say you're just being nice and I know I look bad. Finally he has enough of my whining. He got me a personal trainer and starts dragging me to the gym. No literally. DRAGGING. Waking me at 5 am pulling the cover off me pulling my legs out the bed to the floor and grabbing my arms and pulling me up out of the bed like a kid. He watched the trainer like a hawk and made sure she cut me no slack.
> 
> ...


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Diesel_Bomber said:


> We've been wmarried almost two years, and as time has passed she's packed on some weight. A lot of it. I'm a big time fitness buff and I take excellent care of my body. I love growing lean strong muscle. Well anyway she said she was going to take her daughter out for walks which is a start but I don't see much effort that that. It just turns off the horny meter when I see pockets of fat. Her personality is also abrasive which I figured one would cancel out the other, not here. I also know she's desperate to have a baby when we aren't even close to being ready financially. Been pressurimg me to the point I want to get my balls cut. She's a little on the crazy side, and my baby mommw is a raving lunatics....so there's red flags there too. Is it shallow of me to wish she would go for a run...do some squats...I find time 3 days a week to go train......
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How much is a lot?

She may be feelings really down about herself. If you are not comforting her and being encouraging about the weight loss then she isn't going to do it at all! 

This isn't something you can just make someone do, or make somebody want to do. She has to want it for herself.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> I find time 3 days a week to go train......


So she has a daughter, how old is this child? What's your financial situation? How much time do the two of you spend together? Who would provide child care while you wife went to train?

I think it's great you train three times a week, but are you "finding the time" or are do you mean you are choosing to train in lieu of other things? IE are you going to train during times your wife is home with her daughter?

I don't understand if you were always such a big fitness buff, and she barely goes to walks - how was this not a deal-breaker for marriage? Is it because before she was thin with minimal effort?


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## Pinkpetal (Jan 2, 2014)

You don't have anything nice to say about this woman you are supposed to love. I'm wondering if your wife has put on a lot of weight because she is unhappy. You guys don't sound compatible at all. I think you'd do better to address your whole relationship, and not just who's hot and who's not.


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## loveadvice (Dec 22, 2013)

Diesel_Bomber said:


> We've been wmarried almost two years, and as time has passed she's packed on some weight. A lot of it. I'm a big time fitness buff and I take excellent care of my body. I love growing lean strong muscle. Well anyway she said she was going to take her daughter out for walks which is a start but I don't see much effort that that. It just turns off the horny meter when I see pockets of fat. Her personality is also abrasive which I figured one would cancel out the other, not here. I also know she's desperate to have a baby when we aren't even close to being ready financially. Been pressurimg me to the point I want to get my balls cut. She's a little on the crazy side, and my baby mommw is a raving lunatics....so there's red flags there too. Is it shallow of me to wish she would go for a run...do some squats...I find time 3 days a week to go train......
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You don't like her personality.

You don't like her looks.

There is nothing left to stay in the marriage for. 

BTW, I'm sure she doesn't like that you have a lunatic baby momma, and another two mouths to feed on the side. And, that you are a poor provider and do not make enough money to be able to afford a baby with her. 

I think people should add their own faults/baggage into the equation when griping about other people's faults.


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