# The Hamster Wheel of Reconcilation and renewed Apathy



## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

I feel like that I have to hurt my wife (emotionally) and or make her feel that the marriage really is about to end for her to invest much effort in the marriage. Eg. "I am fileing tomorrow".

She had an affair, and says she is willing to work on things but it it starting to feel like a hamster wheel. 

Is this common and does it really mean what it looks like--that she only cares about the marriage in so much that it would cause her inconvenience and discomfort for it not to be there?

Thanks,


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## samwise182 (Feb 9, 2014)

this may be wrong but if my wife had an affair a divorce would be the only option for me,once a cheater always a cheater I say move on and find a good person you can trust when your ready


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## PinkSalmon13 (Nov 7, 2013)

If you continue reading here, you'll see, where cheating is involved, a hamster wheel within a hamster wheel within a hamster wheel. It's like some crazy M.C. Escher stuff. 

Keep reading.......you'll get all sorts of info and perspectives to help you decide which path to take.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Is she still in love with OM?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

No I am certain now that is finally over.


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## skb (Dec 1, 2012)

I agree with Samwise182. So she's over her OM? Odds are she'll find herself another. When it starts it usually doesn't stop. Add an OM to the equation once and she'll likely not want to do without.

SKB


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

Now that the affair is done, which took and absurd amount of pushing on my part for it to finally end, we have a chance to work on the fundamental issues we ignored for years that led us to the place of apathy. It is fair to give it a shot from here, but I just don't know if she wants the same things. No one can help me with that I can see, but I appreciate the comments.


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