# Seeking advice



## higgycu (Jan 1, 2009)

Hello, I apologize for this long winded post but I think it is necessary to give the complete picture. Here is my story and thanks for taking the time to read my novel.

My wife of almost 17 years walked out on me and our two lovely daughters (15 and 13). She said that she needed to move in with her parents because she was feeling overwhelmed and needed her space. Of course, I am freaking out but I try and be respectful and give her, her space. Here is where the story gets interesting.

We bought a horse 8 months ago for our 15 year old daughter. But I knew it was really for my wife and thought it would be good for her, because I could sense she was feeling depressed. About the time she started working with an older gentleman (55) we are both 44 to help her train our horse. When she left I asked her if there was someone else and she told me no.

Well on the 30th, I had to go to the ER and she met me there for support which I thought was great and you know how slowly things happen in an ER, it gave us time to have a great conversation and I basically told her how I felt we could work things out. Again, I asked if there was someone else and you guessed it, there is. I asked her if she loved him and she said no but she has an emotional attachment. He is easy to talk to and doesn’t expect anything from her. I on the other hand am frustrating her because I have expecations like wanting her to come back home. Okay, but I ask her have you slept with him? She says no and I believe her because she has always been the most trustworthy person I have known.

We have plans to go out New Years Eve for dinner. I try and call her at work to make sure that we are still on and to thank her for going to the ER the day before. I can’t get a hold of her and my calls to her cell go straight to voicemail. I finally call her Mom to see if she is was at their house and she says she hasn’t seen her since yesterday. Well she finally calls me around 12:00 and I ask her what is going on? She said that she needed to talk because she is confused and went to his house and then became tired and fell asleep. I am dumbfounded that we seem to have a great conversation and as soon as she leaves the ER she drives straight to his house. She assured me that she is not sleeping with him and we are still on for dinner. I pick her up and try and make it like a first date. We have a very nice conversation at the bar and dinner. I take her back to her parents because she said she is tired and I don’t try and push watching the ball drop; I know she needs her space.

Well, I decide to see if she is truly tired and going to stay home. I decide to park down a side street and wait for 15 minutes to see if she leaves. You guessed it, she leaves her parents and I follow her for a while until I know for sure that she is headed towards his house. I call her on cell phone just to see if she would answer and she wouldn’t. I then pulled up beside to let her know that I was not stupid. I called her again and she answers and I asked what are you doing? I asked her to please pull over so we can talk because this is two nights in a row that she has gone to his house for the night. She agrees to pull over and again I asked her is she was sleeping with him. Again she tells me no, but finally she says yes, I slept with him one time. I asked her is she loves him and she says no but I have an emotional attachment. I told her that I couldn’t believe that she would do this to us since we have discussed how sex outside of the marriage was a strict no-no as it should be. She says that she loves me but she is not in love with me. I asked her why she slept with him and she said she didn't know. I asked her what do I do to deserver this; I have never raise a hand to her, belittled her, did anything but treat her like a princess and love her. She said yes, that I am a wonderful father and a great husband. That she is ashamed that she slept with him and wants me to hate her. I tell her that I can’t bring myself to hate her. 

Last week, she made an appointment with a marriage counselor for next week and had asked if I was willing to go. I told her that I wanted to work things out and I was willing to do anything. I asked her if she still wanted to seek counseling and she said yes. I then asked if she was willing to try and she said yes but she couldn’t promise anything. I told her that I understood and asked if she could not sleep with him anymore until we get things figured out. She said that she wouldn’t but she still wanted to go over to his house because that is the only place that makes her happy. 

Since she has left, she barely calls our two daughters or our grown son. She has seen the girls once when she came over to get some more of her things. She adored our children and it is very puzzling how she doesn’t want anything to do with them. Our son told me, Dad I left her a message and she doesn’t call me back. I asked her about this and she says people want answers and she doesn’t know how to verbalize what is going on. Apparently, the only one she can verbalize to is this guy of 8 months.

Her sister and her parents can not believe she is doing this and it is very uncharacteristic of her. I totally agree, I told her I can understand that she needs to get away from me but I don’t understand why she needs to get way from our children. She says that she needs to talk to a counselor. She said that she feels like just running away. Quitting her job and leaving everyone and everything behind.

Obviously, I am a mess, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and I feel numb. I still love her very deeply and I told her that all I ask is for is a chance to work things out. My question is, am I stupid? Should I just let her go and start divorce proceedings? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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## Sagittarius (Nov 6, 2010)

I am troubley sorry that you are in this situation. It sounds as if your wife has let things go too long. Counseling for her is a good idea and counseling for both of you together. If you want to try to work at it still, I think this is a most (counseling). See how that goes. You have to think about you and whats best for you at this time. Good Luck, Sagittarius


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I think you should get the OM involved. He may not understand that his actions with your wife are effecting the kids, along with your marriage. He may not understand that your family in jeprody.

Have you done a back round check on this guy? This vampire is using your weak wife and he knows she married, so his morals may not be the kind of morals young teenage daughters should be around.

Find out who this guy is and expose his thurst for married women to all that will listen. Especially to the next guy that hires him to train his wifes horse. As far as horse trainers go, he is not being professional and others should be warned.

If you can get this guy out of the picture it may hepl your wife out of the fog. Remember you have a wife and kids to protect. Its not about her or you, its about fighting for your family as a whole.

Go with caution, this will piss off your wife, b/c she is not seeing clarly.


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

Mmmhh....I don't think this guy is on here anymore....

The post is from 01-01-2009....


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