# How important is it to give your ex space when it comes to getting her back



## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

I am in the process of no contact with my ex as she has requested a break for a while over the incident that took place at my apt. It's really killing me. I feel like she loves me but she has doubts over my ex making her think I was seeing her and I wasn't. I have as of two weeks ago cut all ties with my ex. My ties was very minimal with we anyway. I love her and I'm willing to do anything to get her back. If she would give me a chance I can and will prove to her that I love her and her only and hat I trust her. 

So the No contact is hard but all the message boards indicate that it must be done or any chance at getting back together will be lost. Do you all agree with this. She admitted that something happened after the apt incident and that she has fought it but it happened. She thinks I was seeing the ex I was not. So here I am sad and crushed and lost and scared to death I've lost her. 

So will she miss me and forget me or has she since she wants a break? She said we r not dating and if I want to date other people for me to go ahead cause I really need to decide if she is what I want and need. She is def what I want and need and I'm willing to prove it and to prove it time and time again. So I'm stuck in takin a break and being broke up. She said please just give us a break a while and if its meant to b that it'll work out. 

So tell me what to do besides the no contact?
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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

Too many unknowns. 
What was the "apt incident"?
What did she admit "happened"?
How long have you been taking a break from her?
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## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

My ex made my current girlfriend think thSt I was seeing my ex when I wasn't. My current girlfriend should have known thSt I wasn't seeing her. It cast a huge doubt on my credibility in the eyes of my current girlfriend who now broke up with me to try and take a break to process this. I'm innocent and I have tried to make her understand and she won't listen and it has come to this I think she wants us to fix this issue and work things out but at this point it has grown to a point she wants a break. She said just give us a break for a while. She has been hurt by this and it was a lie and Idlk what else to do to make her beleive me. I'm outta options. I'm thinking about going 3 weeks and trying to contact her. If I text her she always answers. But I guess giving her time to process at his and miss me is important. Right?
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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

That didnt answer any of the questions i asked
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## spun (Jul 2, 2012)

I need space very often means that your wife is exploring or would like to explore the possibility of a relationship with another man.

You need to find out whether this is the case.

It changes your game plan substantially.

Do you have access to her email, Facebook, cell phone records etc?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

My ex girlfriend showed up at my apt while I was there with my current girlfriend. My ex girlfriend got mad and looked at me in front of my current girlfriend de him I've been dating for one year and said to me "I can't beleive you woukd cheat in me when I was loyal and faithful to you. I was like WTF. I said that is untrue I'm not seeing you etx. I made whet leave and my current girlfriend left mad and I chased her down and begged her and told her it was a lie etc. which it was. 

My current girlfriend said that it must b true since my ex said it was. It wasn't. My current woman said I think you lied and that I'm a player. She is hurt and I am to but I wasn't cheating. We took a break for two weeks now. Up until say we talked and texted everyday. 

I have lost the love of my life over a bull crap lie and incident that screwed me over So her I am and I'm pissed and I really mad. My girlfriend whom I'm on break with said I figure you're talking to women right now while we r broke up. I was like WTF. Are u insane? R u not listening I'm not talking or chasing women for god sake cause I love you. Does anyone know how aggravating this crap is?
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## hillbilly_loser (Jan 1, 2013)

She has told me that if she decides to go out with other people she will because we aren't dating and she assumes I am already talking to other people which I am not and I am not interested. She does have a real close guy friend that has been married for 30 years and he likes her and has expressed interest before in leaving his wife for her. My girlfriend who is taking a break did say that she sisn't seeing this guy but sometimes she does wonder how she feels abut him. She said she isn't going to go and explore that though! I have always told her that I always thought somethihg could be there. Sometimes I admit that I wonder if the incident at my apt caused her to lose trust in me and she figures that before she gives us another try that she might to to see if he will leave his wife and how that will go before giving me another chance since she feels like I let her down.

I am so so devastated cause I love this woman and I really wasn't cheating on her and I don't wanna lose her like this. We texted a little last night but didn't talk about us though. She never texts me first but when I text she is always nice and friendly.

My problem is she hasn't said its completely over. She said for me to give us a break for a while and if its meant to be it will work out and if you love something let it go and if it comes abck to you its yours. She knows I love her. It got to the point that when I would tell her that I love her she would look at me and say I know you do. She would tell me back that she loves me and I said why and she said cause your trying to make me say it. What's that mean? IDK but im so confused.

IDk what to do and how to proceed. Do I stop texting period? Do I wait and text every couple of days since she seems receptive and texts back or do I just drop of her radar screen and leave her alone and let her miss me? We had made plans to do stuff in march and go on some weekend trips. Should I still go to those places without her and post it on facebook that I am there cause I know she will read it. Since my dad got sick I have become depressed AND IM NOT THE SAME person I once was. I am always sad and I have stopped doing all my important hobbies that define who I am and she is always trying to get me to start those again and she keeps saying you need to get back to being happy and doing those things. Could it be that she wants me to go back to being the guy that she fell in love with instead of who I have become? She reads her FB all the time. I wonder if I start traveling like I use to and start posting on FB and she sees I am back to my old self and that I am out being the guy she fell in love with if that will help to jar her? All I know is that our relationship couldn't have been any better until the day that my ex showed up and made my current girlfriend think I was seeing my ex behind her back. After that my relationship with my current girlfriend went to hell in a hand basket.

It seems like this should be easy to fix but it isn't and its driving me crazxy! Because I know how much I love this woman and need this woman and I kno0w I wasn't cheating and that I would never cheat on her. Ever!

I just need someone to tell me what to do to make her believe me instead of my ex so that she don't throw us away over something that wasn't happeneing.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

My opinion: She's seeing the guy friend. They're having sex and she wants her own place so they can keep it a secret from and his wife. It sounds like both have planned an exit.

You need to investigate. 

Cheaters often accuse their spouses of cheating. It's part of their script. Don't even think twice about it - she's projecting on to you.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

hillbilly_loser said:


> It seems like this should be easy to fix but it isn't and its driving me crazxy! Because I know how much I love this woman and need this woman and I kno0w I wasn't cheating and that I would never cheat on her. Ever!
> 
> I just need someone to tell me what to do to make her believe me instead of my ex so that she don't throw us away over something that wasn't happeneing.


A week or so ago you said you were in love with two different women and wanted your first girlfriend back. 

Your new one said F-that, we are not an item. 

If she dates married dude now it is none of your business. If she comes back to you, cool. 

She doesn't believe you. That will take time for her to figure out if she wants to try. Let go man. Let go.


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## staystrong (Sep 15, 2012)

Whoops, I misunderstood the trail of who's who. 

I agree with Zillard except that I know you will find it impossible to let go so early on. Do not initiate communication with her, wait for her to contact you. If she contacts you for mundane reasons don't bring up the relationship .. let her talk about it and you listen.


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## HappyKaty (Nov 20, 2012)

Your story is crazy sketch, PLUS I remember your previous posts. Let the girl go. She deserves that. You can't have your cake and eat it, too.


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## zappy88200 (Dec 6, 2012)

If you really love her and want her back - Stop contacting her. Complete Stop and as brother SS said "Let her initiate the contact"

God Bless you brother

Zappy


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