# Am I wrong for wanting time?



## Trying2 (May 11, 2009)

my husband and i have been married for less than a yr., but we have been together almost 6 yrs. He's a high school teacher and coach. I'm an elementary teacher and college student. Our relationship has consisted of arguments dealing with "spending quality time". He has the understanding that I want him to quit. I only want him to make time for me because we only get to see each other in the mornings before we part for work. When he makes it home...all of America is checking out for the day. I try not to be to overbearing with sharing my feelings, but it turns into arguments because the topic is redundant to him. I love my husband indeed i do. Last week we got into an argument again because calling me back "slipped his mind", but he had time to do other less important things. He reminds me that he can't be a husband and coach at the same time, but the minute the season is over, I'm all his. Am I wrong for putting him out because I feel neglected. I apologized the day after I did it, but he hasn't returned home or returned my calls.


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## JDPreacher (Feb 27, 2009)

If this has been the case for awhile now, especially before you got married, then you knew what was going to happen once you got married.

It's not out of line to expect your husband to be attentive when you're married for less than a year but if you have been together for more than six years, the honeymoon was over a long time ago.

Even then it's still not unreasonable to want to be with your spouse so you need to find a compromise...I know coaches are busy but they do have time when they aren't...and if that time is the evening when he is done...then make the best of that...sneak some time in here and there...

And wait for the end of the season...once that is complete, you might have some dialogue about not coaching next year...

Blessed Be,
Preacher


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## Trying2 (May 11, 2009)

He was a coach at a different school and the hours were totally different (not as long). We didn't move in together until we were married. I mean is there a such thing as an on season off season wife? Is it fair that he dedicates all his time to a 7a.m. to 4:00 job then never make it home til 10p.m. (when I'm asleep and he's bummed out)? Even the weekends and holidays are intruded!


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## Sprite (Nov 3, 2008)

If time and attention is what you want..has the thought ever crossed your mind to go hang out at the gym/field with him while he is coaching? Sometimes you have to make an attempt to get involved in what he is doing to better understand it or support him. He was coaching before you got married, you knew this was part of who is he then. Did you think it was going to change? This is a lifestyle he chose to live, and by marrying him, you chose it to. Those less important things he did instead of calling you back, only seem less important to you. Maybe he doesn't feel the same way about it, especially if he cares about the kids he is teaching and coaching....maybe he felt they needed his time more than you did at that moment. I think you may not understand what a good coach can do for a student.


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