# Boyfriend getting over my past



## sadlynlove (Aug 13, 2011)

I was married for 11 years, 6 months after my divorce my sister abandoned her kids and I started supporting my Mom and my sisters 4 kids. Six months after that my Mom died. Needless to say I lost my mind. Prior to all of this I was beyond the point of respondsible. There was a lot of emotional and some forms of sexual abuse in my marriage. After my Mom passed away I suck deep into a depression. I started doing the exact opposite of all that I knew. I partied all the time, drugs, alcohol, over spending. Then there was the promiscuity. Over a 7 year period I had 23 sexual partners, some where one night stands. The longest relationship I had was 1 year and he turned out to be just using me. I know that I wasn't representing myself well, but I was so caught up in it. I am honest and I am in a new relationship we are planning to spend our lives together. I thought that he deserved to know the truth about those dark years. It has been almost two years since my craziness. He is disgusted with everything, I slept with a guy to young to old, I let people I didn't know touch me etc. He says that he loves me and wants to work through this. But he is always angry and makes dispariging remarks about my past. Asking if it was all worth it and why didn't I get help sooner....Why didn't I go to my friends. I did eventually go into therepy to stop my insanity, but apperantly I didn't do it fast enough. I am an amazing woman (he tells me this, and this is why he is having such a hard time dealing with my extended stupidity) I just was wondering form a males point of view if we can really work through this and come out stronger on the other end? He tells me he wants to try everything. Then he says he is mentally checked out and can't stand to look at me. I am confused and hurt and scared as hell. Help!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

He has to learn to accept you for who you are, and who you are is most definitely an amazing woman because you've been there, done that, and matured from it. Not many have the same story, he simply has to learn that your past is a good thing, as it makes your present all the sweeter. It's all a matter of perspective.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems until the two of you fell in love and became committed to one another that you sprang this part of your life on him. If that is the case I can understand his feelings that you should have been honest since the onset of the relationship and not wait until long after he was heavily invested in you. He may feel that you betrayed him by lies of omission.

Nevertheless, he is wrong in making disparaging remarks to you because you made some dumb choices in the past that he was not a part of - haven't we all? You need to 'man up' and inform him that while you are sorry that he is hurt by this information from your past, that you will not allow him to be your judge and that if he continues that you will terminate your relationship with him. You are no longer that person you were in the past and he does not have a right to treat you as though you still are.


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## sadlynlove (Aug 13, 2011)

Thanks Morituri, the relationship has actually moved really fast. I let him know early on, within the first month of us dating since it was looking serious. Within that time he has asked me more and more questions and I jave answered them honestly. Now he says that he would have preferred if I had not told him at all. I believe not telling him about my past would have been a lie and that is no way to start a new relationship.


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