# I lost my best friend



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

When I married my husband nearly 12 yrs ago I thought I was marrying my best friend. A few years into it my best friend left (emotionally) and a cold, defensive stranger replaced him. The stranger was someone who could no longer listen to me, support me, be there for me. Someone who treated me like the enemy instead of his friend. Critical and judgemental. I've had nobody to share my problems and feelings with for so long. I've been so, so lonely for so long and I want it to end. I don't want to live the rest of my life this way.

I've missed my best friend every day since he left and he's not coming back.

Just a sad rant...


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Has anybody else have a story similar to mine?


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Sorry to hear this happened. Yes, my story is very similar to yours. I married my best friend, and she changed over time. She left the marriage nearly five months ago after nearly seven years of marriage, and I miss her every day.

I've grieved the loss, but am still in the process of healing, rediscovery of self and letting go. I am fortunate to have several good friends and family who have helped me get through this. Like you, after a while I did not feel my now ex-wife was truly there for me, or with me for that matter. 

However, I have stopped blaming me or her for this. It is what it is, and I am accepting that it was not meant to last. This leaves me with a choice... remaining on the roller coaster or getting off and working toward a better life, which will include a more fulfilling relationship. 

I was whole before I met my ex. I became empty while I was with her, and especially when she left. 

Maybe if you tried to see past the pain and loss, and viewed this as an opportunity to work past it, and to work on yourself. Only then, with you feeling whole as an individual, will you truly be able to appreciate your next relationship.

Just sayin'.


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

I felt the exact same way when my ex-husband left me. He was my best friend for 15 years. It was so hard.....when something good/bad/frustrating/happy/etc would happen to me during the day, he was the first person that I thought of because I wanted to share it with him...it was so incredibly hard to get used to not having him in my life anymore--to not have him a part of my life anymore.

But, you need to feel these feelings, and process this pain. It is soooooo hard. 

Eventually, the fog lifted for me, and I began to see our relationship for how it really was---and I began to see that my ex-husband never appreciated (or perhaps deserved) the love that I gave him. I gave him everything, and he was my everything for so long. But, it does get sooooo much better....really.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

It seems as though so many marriages, people emotionally check out. I also married my best friend. I think I AM THE ONE who has checked out. For a while now. I don't know if there is anything that my wife an do now to bring me back (emotionally) like you said. I am lonely too. It would be asy to put all of the blame on my wife. I know I have my part in all of this though. I do hear ya! I don't know how to end it after 20 years. She is my best friend.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

My STBXH checked out so long ago. He has, however, run back to his old "best friend" a woman who keeps him on a string and gets him to fulfill her emotional needs. He also tells me he meets other women who make him feel good. 

I found his journal and he writes about how much I irritate him.. It breaks my heart.


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