# Clarity



## Richi300 (Aug 11, 2016)

Last week I received a email from my ex wife asking what my new number was that she really needed to talk to me. I didn't plan on doing anything but curiosity got the better of me. Long story short the grass wasn't greener. She lost her baby and her boyfriend was back seeing his ex. She was crying hysterical saying how sorry she was. Its crazy how life works because all this time I thought this is what I wanted. I see now the rejection is what was killing me the most. I had no emotions about what she was saying. I told her I'm sorry but its none of my business and hung up. My thing now is I'm worried she'll try to take all this out on me by trying to counter some bs with her lawyers after saying I could have everything. I've been trying to get in contact with my lawyer but we always seem to miss each others phone call. It may sound cruel but I feel so vindicated. I can breathe again. Better night sleep. Besides me trying to stay one step ahead... I feel half way normal again.


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## Altair (Sep 16, 2016)

In retrospect you could have been more friendly and understanding if only to keep her cooperative with the divorce related issues but the truth is she'd probably turn on you anyway now that things are going south for her. But you said she's your exwife so are you divorced or not?

Don't know your back story I will go try and find it but if she said you can have everything I hope you're moving things along quickly because that offer is temporary at best. All she needs to do is sit down with a lawyer for 10 minutes and she'll no longer be so generous.


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## Richi300 (Aug 11, 2016)

Soon to be. And your right, I think I poked the bee hive out of sheer pettiness. It was a power play and I wasn't thinking.


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## Altair (Sep 16, 2016)

I read your story.

You consulted with an attorney over a month ago and they said they'd "take it from here"

What if anything have you heard since then? Did you sign a retainer? Have divorce papers been filed and served on her?

Typically you gotta keep a fire going under your lawyers ass in order to get things done. They seem to give every case such low priority it's a wonder people ever get divorced.


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## Richi300 (Aug 11, 2016)

I wish things with the divorce went faster. Until now I haven't spoken to her and I had know idea where she was to serve her...still have no idea. I had to put it in the newspaper. Tbh I'm not even sure if she has a lawyer. We have just been separated.


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## Altair (Sep 16, 2016)

Oh, so you never did retain a lawyer. 

You probably want to get moving on this especially since she said you can have everything. 

As far as serving her, the attorneys take care of that, they have their own process servers and they know how to find people, usually at work.


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## Richi300 (Aug 11, 2016)

I have a lawyer right now we are in limbo. Had to put the info in the paper looking for her. They can't serve until they find her. And I have no clue where she is. I might have to get on her good side and pretend to support her. Messy but I don't see any other choice.


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## Altair (Sep 16, 2016)

You might have missed an opportunity there, when she reached out to you.

You could always call her back say you will meet her for lunch or something and have her served there.

Didn't she WANT the divorce? What about telling her you need to give her some papers to get this thing moving and simply give them to her.


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## Richi300 (Aug 11, 2016)

Yeah, Ill have to figure something out. If she does in fact have a lawyer and decides to come for it all Im starting to think would it be all that bad. I have a great job now but I'm still going to fight for what I have until then if that's the case.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

perhaps stringing her along will play better for you in the long run, Rich, i get you are totally justified in your feelings and attitude, no one here could deny that after all the pain you went through (perhaps still going through). But think of this as a race, your halfway to the finish line and you are meeting a couple obstacles, listen to her, be a sounding board you don't have to get back with her (oh hell no) but give her enough attention to get this divorce done.


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## ButtPunch (Sep 17, 2014)

Xenote said:


> perhaps stringing her along will play better for you in the long run, Rich, i get you are totally justified in your feelings and attitude, no one here could deny that after all the pain you went through (perhaps still going through). But think of this as a race, your halfway to the finish line and you are meeting a couple obstacles, listen to her, be a sounding board you don't have to get back with her (oh hell no) but give her enough attention to get this divorce done.


Good advice here. 

You got to string her along.

I think you let your emotions get the better of you.


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## Richi300 (Aug 11, 2016)

Your right, it seems its only with her. I'm consider myself level headed but with her I lose it. Not something I'm proud of. Thank you for the advice.


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