# Would you let your wife or girl friend wear this dress ?



## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

Would you let your wife or girl friend wear this dress 

?https://pp.vk.me/c625818/v625818820/371cd/x1m62th1Q2s.jpg

I had a fight with my wife, she wants to wear dresses like this, I said it is inappropriate and that it looks ****ty.

I do not want men staring at her while she wears this kind of dresses and she says, that i am a grand father and not modern.

:frown2:


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

How old is your girlfriend or wife? How long have you been married? Do you have children and what are their ages? Does she work and in what field?


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I guess it would depend on the event or place she was going to wear it.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Can't see it but I figure if it's all you describe it as, I'd love my wife to wear it. So what if guys look, she's coming home with me.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

If her body is as good as that models sure, it isn't really slvtty. How old is your wife? It is only age appropriate for someone under 30 IMO, who has a really good body. It looks like summer club wear.

But "let" your wife wear anything? Even if she looks like Honey Boo Boo's mother and she wants to wear it, she should go ahead.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I was expecting something really revealing with boobage spilling out everywhere. The outfit is pretty tame. High neck shirt, showing a bit of a midriff with a short skirt.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Yeah, the only thing that is iffy is the length of the skirt and the fit is snug. You'd pretty much have to have a flawless body to rock that skirt.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

she is 21, she wants to wear this when I am not with her, women wear this kind of dresses and then next thing you know men are all over.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Hey! Where did you get a picture of my wife?!?

LOL! Seems fine to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I don't have the body for it, but if I did, I'd wear that. At least to a place/occasion where such an outfit would be appropriate. 

And I'm glad to be from a culture where, as a grown woman, the men in my family aren't in a position to allow or disallow me to choose my own clothing. I consider my guy's opinions about what clothing he likes to see me in, but I wouldn't be happy at all if he took the position that he wasn't going to "let" me wear something I'd chosen. The flip side of that is, of course, that I also don't try to dictate what he's "allowed" to wear. Because, you know....grown-ups.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

There is no "letting" a woman wear anything. You are not her father. When I was her age I dressed like that and I was engaged. Did men hit on me? Sure, but I knew how to handle myself. When you are 21 and good looking you get hit on wearing boyfriend jeans and a t-shirt too.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

If she only wears sexy outfits when you're not with her it is a very bad sign.

If she dresses like this a lot, just her style, then that isn't a big deal.

It isn't slinky or revealing her butt cheeks or breasts.

Does she have good boundaries with other men?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

There are some who cannot handle it.



kristin2349 said:


> There is no "letting" a woman wear anything. You are not her father. When I was her age I dressed like that and I was engaged. Did men hit on me? Sure, but I knew how to handle myself. When you are 21 and good looking you get hit on wearing boyfriend jeans and a t-shirt too.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

No can be easily swayed.



ConanHub said:


> If she only wears sexy outfits when you're not with her it is a very bad sign.
> 
> If she dresses like this a lot, just her style, then that isn't a big deal.
> 
> ...


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

I believe in a marriage decisions are made by husband and wife together. 



peacem said:


> Wow. You get a say in what your wife wears?! The dress looks fine to me - but what do I know? She's a grown woman and can make her own decisions.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

markanderson said:


> There are some who cannot handle it.



Then perhaps it is time for her to learn. It is something that women have to deal with, if they find the attention too much or it is unwanted then they can make their own decision of dressing in a different way. It is just a dress her privates are covered. 

Telling a woman what she can and can't wear is too controlling.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

* Certainly would be becoming on my RSXW! If she chose to go "commando," she could multitask by going dancing and then simultaneously sweeping up the dance floor!*


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

markanderson said:


> she is 21, she wants to wear this when I am not with her, women wear this kind of dresses and then next thing you know men are all over.


Where does she want to wear it?

And what do you mean by "men are all over her"? This could mean everything from men just looking to men sounding her and touching her.


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

Damn it dude are you retarded or stupid?

Let her wear the faaking dress and stop being so fearful and jealous of other men that have nothing. She's yours. Get it? 

Newsflash: People have imaginations. A woman could be wearing a parka and I can still think of dirty things about her. 

What are you, a paki boomer? Lol. Just kidding. 

You should be thankful. I really didn't like how my ex-wife never wore anything skimpy. I like when girls are confident enough to do that. Turning her down could be a big mistake dude. She might end up wearing the things she want when you don't anyways. Use it to your advantage, but don't be controlling or needy.

Take her out, treat her right and don't be afraid to show you love her body in public!! Wrap your arm around her. Guys will look, like it or not, when you are and aren't around. 

The question is, do you look at other girls? Is this just a reflection of yourself? 

Doyle rules.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

When I was her age, that's about how I dressed, except back then midriffs were covered.

That outfit is just fine. It's not a dress by the way. It's a skirt and blouse.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Buy her 20 of them and consider yourself blessed. You are going to be looking at granny gowns soon enough.


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## scatty (Mar 15, 2013)

Walk arm in arm with her and be happy!


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

markanderson said:


> she is 21, she wants to wear this when I am not with her, women wear this kind of dresses and then next thing you know men are all over.



How old are you?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

markanderson said:


> No can be easily swayed.


OK. That is a much bigger issue if she gets "interesting" when other men hit on her.

I would focus on her poor behavior with other men more than what she wears.

What specifically has she done that is crossing a boundary with another man?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

A woman's body is her own and you have no damn right telling her what she can or cannot wear! Even if you are her husband! Who the hell do you think you are? 

If your wife wants to dress like a Manila hooker, then that is her right and freedom. Quit being so controlling you Neanderthal. Your just mad because you think some guy with a bigger pecker is going to hit on her and steal her away from you. You are so immature and needy. Oh and change the oil in her car....she has a c0cktail party to go to tonight, didn't you remember?


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Hell Yeah
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

If she has the figure to "pull that off" and she has solid boundaries, God bless her. Back in the day, my wife wore tight fitting dresses like that, on occasion, when we were out together only. Frankly, she can still "pull that off", but is concerned about dressing age appropriate. 

That being said, I think your wife should consider your feelings. If you're that uncomfortable with that kind of dress, she shouldn't wear it. Conversely, you shouldn't do anything that might make her uncomfortable. It's a give and take.


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## spunkycat08 (Nov 14, 2013)

Nope

I would not wear that outfit


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

"Yes quit being so controlling",

looks who's talking, "embrace singlehood" ha ? i can see from your posts you are loner and girls dumped you or broke your heart.

I will control my wife, i will do what i want, i am not needy or immature, I dont just run when things dont work out, unlike you. 

There are so many girls in this world, i can run from girl to girl or stick with one and keep my vows. I have no problem finding girls, if you think i am needy and immature. You do not know me.

Know how to keep your woman, love is not the only thing that will keep your woman, you can read all the threads posted here. Loved the husband cheated on with some one else. I do not trust men period. They do not even leave married women. Every man who tries to lay with a married woman should be hanged.

If others want to trust it's their problem.

and you stay alone, better for you that way 




bandit.45 said:


> A woman's body is her own and you have no damn right telling her what she can or cannot wear! Even if you are her husband! Who the hell do you think you are?
> 
> If your wife wants to dress like a Manila hooker, then that is her right and freedom. Quit being so controlling you Neanderthal. Your just mad because you think some guy with a bigger pecker is going to hit on her and steal her away from you. You are so immature and needy. Oh and change the oil in her car....she has a c0cktail party to go to tonight, didn't you remember?






bandit.45 said:


> A woman's body is her own and you have no damn right telling her what she can or cannot wear! Even if you are her husband! Who the hell do you think you are?
> 
> If your wife wants to dress like a Manila hooker, then that is her right and freedom. Quit being so controlling you Neanderthal. Your just mad because you think some guy with a bigger pecker is going to hit on her and steal her away from you. You are so immature and needy. Oh and change the oil in her car....she has a c0cktail party to go to tonight, didn't you remember?


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

you will let your wife walk naked or semi nude ?

let's see what you do then ?




Personal said:


> I think it's fine.
> 
> That said, just like you since my wife isn't my property and doesn't belong to me and is also a self determining adult I have no authority over what she chooses to wear.
> 
> Are you some sort of insecure, controlling, dictatorial and tyrannical husband?


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## AlphaMale74 (Oct 15, 2014)

Sure. It's hot. Guys can look, but I'm the one that gets to touch.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

markanderson said:


> "Yes quit being so controlling",
> 
> looks who's talking, "embrace singlehood" ha ? * i can see from your posts you are loner and girls dumped you or broke your heart.
> 
> ...


Don't do this. Do not attack posters based on the personal info they post on TAM.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

markanderson said:


> you will let your wife walk naked or semi nude ?
> 
> let's see what you do then ?


His wife, and ever other woman has the right to dress as they please... even naked or semi nude. Yes there can be consequences like being arrested if nude in public. But adult women do what they please. If they chose to please their husband, cool.

If they do not chose to please their husband, and dress in the manner that he wants, then he can chose to divorce her if it bothers him that much.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

markanderson said:


> "Yes quit being so controlling",
> 
> looks who's talking, "embrace singlehood" ha ? i can see from your posts you are loner and girls dumped you or broke your heart.
> 
> ...



Um....I was being facetious.


Actually I'm kind of on your side. 


Well, I was. Not anymore.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

Are there roving bands of men who would stone a woman for dressing like that in your homeland?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I think there needs to be compromise between a man and his wife. 

I would be kind of pissed if she went out dressed like that without me. But I would let her go. When she got back that night she would see the brand new $1,400 Kimber hunting rifle on the table I bought while she was gone. See, I'm passive aggressive that way. 

But, if she dressed like that and was hooked on my arm for the night...hell yes....we'd paint the town....


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

You're worried about that outfit? You're kidding us, right?

I'd be more worried if she went out looking like this instead.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

If it would embarass you if your wife dresses in a provocative manner, then she should not. I was 22 years old when I married my husband who was 24 years old at that time. I had the body and the face for that outfit. However, I was teaching college and my husband was a young executive for a major oil company. I dressed in suits and conservative evening gowns as our careers required professional appearance.

In the church that I attended, the young mothers of the same age as your wife dressed conservatively. You'll need to discuss this issue of clothing management with your wife. I am in the fashion industry and the type of clothing that you featured in this article is definitely worn to attract males (of all types); more appropriate attire for club wear.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

The photo i posted, is more covered compared to the ones she wants to wear, yes she likes to wear dresses like this. 



morituri said:


> You're worried about that outfit? You're kidding us, right?
> 
> I'd be more worried if she went out looking like this instead.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

I live in Seattle the last time i know, there is no one stoning a women for dressing like this, i guess you need to go and see, how woman dress here, not many here dress ****ty. Unless you go to clubs.



Decorum said:


> Are there roving bands of men who would stone a woman for dressing like that in your homeland?


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

Thanks atleast one person is on my side :smile2:




Roselyn said:


> If it would embarass you if your wife dresses in a provocative manner, then she should not. I was 22 years old when I married my husband who was 24 years old at that time. I had the body and the face for that outfit. However, I was teaching college and my husband was a young executive for a major oil company. I dressed in suits and conservative evening gowns as our careers required professional appearance.
> 
> In the church that I attended, the young mothers of the same age as your wife dressed conservatively. You'll need to discuss this issue of clothing management with your wife. I am in the fashion industry and the type of clothing that you featured in this article is definitely worn to attract males (of all types); more appropriate attire for club wear.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

I could do something similar to this, but at the right time. 

The thing is she does something and i take revenge, this cycle continues. What is the point of being married ?. We would better go our own separate ways.

I have no problem with her wearing this kinds of dresses, when she is with me. We are in a distance relationship, she lives in Europe and i live here.

As Roselyn pointed out, this is a club wear.







bandit.45 said:


> I think there needs to be compromise between a man and his wife.
> 
> I would be kind of pissed if she went out dressed like that without me. But I would let her go. When she got back that night she would see the brand new $1,400 Kimber hunting rifle on the table I bought while she was gone. See, I'm passive aggressive that way.
> 
> But, if she dressed like that and was hooked on my arm for the night...hell yes....we'd paint the town....


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

markanderson said:


> I have no problem with her wearing this kinds of dresses, when she is with me. We are in a distance relationship, she lives in Europe and i live here.


So you do not live with your wife? How do you know what she is wearing?


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

markanderson said:


> The photo i posted, is more covered compared to the ones she wants to wear, yes she likes to wear dresses like this.


Since you know your wife better than any of us, is she very sensitive about what other people, especially other women, say about her? I ask because if she is, then wearing an extremely revealing dress or outfit will probably bring negative attention to her from other females. But if she doesn't care a rat's @$$ about what other people say, then there is not much you can do about it.

Acting insecure or controlling is definitely not going to make you an attractive man in her eyes. You can express to her that acting without consideration for your feelings, is a way to kill your love for her over the long run. If she cares, then she may chose to wear something a little less provocative but acceptable to your sensibilities. Maybe you can compromise that she could wear the controversial outfit during family gatherings where there would be no strangers judging her. The point is that if she loves the outfit, there may be a middle ground both could arrive at that would satisfy the two of you.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

She tells me what she wears, but mostly she is home. 
She knows i do not like her wearing revealing clothes.



EleGirl said:


> So you do not live with your wife? How do you know what she is wearing?


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I was expecting a different kind of dress, this one is fine and if she has a good body then why not, she is young afterall and this is pretty normal. I think you need to be careful with treating her as if she were your daughter. Are you much older than her?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

This celebrity is wearing a similar kind of 2-piece outfit. I thought the comments at the bottom were interesting. Nicole Scherzinger cuts a sophisticated figure in cream crop top | Daily Mail Online

MarkAnderson, your wife is 21 years old. Either she is going to wear these outfits now or she is going to wear them sometime in her life like when she has midlife crisis.

You need to find someone who already wants to dress modestly on their own.

I agree that give and take is a good thing. When I first started dating my husband, I asked him to stop wearing concert tee-shirts and tennis shoes when we went out together. He complied.

If he tells me I need to wear something else, I comply. He doesn't ask often. One time because the outfit was more revealing than I realised. Another time because something I was wearing was too casual for the event. In a good relationship, your spouses opinion is well, a 2nd opinion.

Generally, I don't think 21 year olds make good spouses. that could be the root of your problem.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

OP you are on the road to divorce my friend. You are extremely insecure or you wouldn't feel the need to control your wife like you do. She is not a piece of property, she's a living, breathing person with her own free will. SHE CAN DO WHAT SHE LIKES. When people are controlled, they rebel.

Does this mean she shouldn't have any regard for your feelings on this? Of course not. She absolutely should consider your opinion as her husband. At the end of the day though, she's a grown woman and you CANNOT tell her what she can and can't do. If you keep this up, your marriage will go down the toilet.

When I was 21 I had the body for outfits like the one in the photo you posted. I used to wear outfits similar to that sometimes when I was out with my friends. Did I get hit on? You bet I did. Did I sleep with any of them? No way - because I was in a committed relationship with a soldier. He was proud of me, and like some of the other posters here, he said guys could look all they liked, but HE was the ONLY one who got to take me home.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

My wife is an adult. She picks out her own clothes and she can dress herself without supervision.


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## Mrs Chai (Sep 14, 2010)

This guy is cherry picking answers to respond to. Mostly ones that echo his own thoughts. He's not looking for advice, he is looking for validation.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

Believe me we went that road many times, she controls me as well.
Was your soldier boyfriend overseas ? when you were dating him ?



frusdil said:


> OP you are on the road to divorce my friend. You are extremely insecure or you wouldn't feel the need to control your wife like you do. She is not a piece of property, she's a living, breathing person with her own free will. SHE CAN DO WHAT SHE LIKES. When people are controlled, they rebel.
> 
> Does this mean she shouldn't have any regard for your feelings on this? Of course not. She absolutely should consider your opinion as her husband. At the end of the day though, she's a grown woman and you CANNOT tell her what she can and can't do. If you keep this up, your marriage will go down the toilet.
> 
> When I was 21 I had the body for outfits like the one in the photo you posted. I used to wear outfits similar to that sometimes when I was out with my friends. Did I get hit on? You bet I did. Did I sleep with any of them? No way - because I was in a committed relationship with a soldier. He was proud of me, and like some of the other posters here, he said guys could look all they liked, but HE was the ONLY one who got to take me home.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

Again how old are you? 32

How long have you been married for? 2 years

Why do you not live with her? because she lives in Europe an i here, she will be here soon

How long have you lived apart? 4 months now

How long will you continue to live apart? another 1 month

Have you ever lived together and if so for how long? 6 months

How often do you have sex with your wife? private but often.

Aside from the fact she can wear whatever she pleases, why does it matter to you since you live on separate continents and as a consequence lead separate lives?--- because last time she wore, some man squeezed her ass in a store.



Does your wife continue to have only male friends? no

Does your wife still go out regularly with all of her male friends? no

Have you chosen wisely? 50/50.

Is it ok ? My future wife want to have male friends

Has your wife chosen wisely? yes.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

Yes that is part of the problem being 21. I blame myself not her. Love is blind.



NextTimeAround said:


> This celebrity is wearing a similar kind of 2-piece outfit. I thought the comments at the bottom were interesting. Nicole Scherzinger cuts a sophisticated figure in cream crop top | Daily Mail Online
> 
> MarkAnderson, your wife is 21 years old. Either she is going to wear these outfits now or she is going to wear them sometime in her life like when she has midlife crisis.
> 
> ...


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

It all depends on her age and where she would wear an outfit like that. 

Around the house or casual shopping - OK
Going for a walk - OK
Casual lunch with friends - OK
For the office - Not OK
Attending an interview - Not OK
Attending a meeting at children's school - Not OK
Going to church - Not OK
Visit to doctor - Not OK
Visiting grandma/pa in the nursing home - Not OK

For a woman who is the right age (under 30 - 35) and has a good figure, I don't think that the outfit is overly revealing or inappropriate.


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

You posted on here 1.5 years ago that she was your girlfriend and now you say you have been married 2 years?


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Love is clearly not blind, Mark, since you cannot not see what she is wearing.

I'm sympathetic with you to some degree, especially after the 'squeezed her ass' revelation. There is no question that there are men out in the world who can and will be disrespectful to women. You think that her clothing invites it. My experience is that it can happen no matter what a woman is wearing.

Nonetheless, I'm going to suggest that she actually likes the attention and that that is your real issue. She is young, feels flattered, desired, and sexy. It is flirtatious and she enjoys it. 

In earlier times, the aristocratic class thought that the perfect age for a man to marry was about 30-32. Men that age were thought to have sown their wild oats by then and were ready to produce their heirs. The perfect bride was a young, virginal woman in her late teens/early twenties. She was supposed to start out chaste and remain faithful to ensure the bloodlines.

The problem was that they had to keep these young women almost under lock and key to keep their scheme going.

Life changes. You've married a girl and now you have to take the good with the bad.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

As long as she is happy and comfortable wearing it I am cool with it.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

There appears to be more going on here than what she wears. I hope both of you (OP and OP's wife) can find a way to make it work. I do believe the stress of being apart plays a huge role. I wish you the best.


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

I was not thinking right, we are married more than a year now.



coffee4me said:


> You posted on here 1.5 years ago that she was your girlfriend and now you say you have been married 2 years?


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## markanderson (Jan 22, 2014)

Very wise post. I agree with you.



alte Dame said:


> Love is clearly not blind, Mark, since you cannot not see what she is wearing.
> 
> I'm sympathetic with you to some degree, especially after the 'squeezed her ass' revelation. There is no question that there are men out in the world who can and will be disrespectful to women. You think that her clothing invites it. My experience is that it can happen no matter what a woman is wearing.
> 
> ...


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

The question is not would I let her wear that dress, it is could I get her to wear that dress LOL!!!


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

markanderson said:


> she is 21, she wants to wear this when I am not with her, women wear this kind of dresses and then next thing you know men are all over.


 I thought that you were asking when she was with you. The when you are "not with her" changes everything.


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## doobie (Apr 15, 2014)

What right does one person have to tell another person what to wear or what not to wear? Whether my H likes it or not I would wear what I damn well please!


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

What was it about her that you thought was good relationship material when you met her? You were visiting her country and met a 18 year old who you said had many boyfriends, one serious and 5 on the side.  Must have been something amazing about her that would make you think this teenager was in love with you and ready for marriage.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

I stand by my Hell Yeah comment

Attempting this type of control, is just too tiring to maintain long term.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

The skirts ok, I'd let my old lady wear it but the blouse has got to go. Not enough cleavage...I'd rather be looking at my old ladies breast at dinner rather then getting busted looking at some other chicks breast who walked by showing more boob then my old lady.

The skirt shows enough leg to keep me interested as I wolf down some grub at a nice steak house, in the back, in a nice cozy booth. if you know what I mean?

Hell it would be a good day if other guys only looked and didn't touch....my old lady!!!

When you have been married as long as me and Mrs. the guy have been married and the shyt we went through...what she wears is the least of our problems.

She could wear a mine skirt or a pair of baggy sweats...if she isn't with me at night then we got a phucken problem. "AGAIN"

My point is....there are POS's out there that will try to bang our ladies ..given a chance...it don't matter what they wear!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

doobie said:


> What right does one person have to tell another person what to wear or what not to wear? Whether my H likes it or not I would wear what I damn well please!


I feel the exact same way when I wear my plastic baseball helmet with the two beer can holders on each side and one straw that connects to both cans.


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## Mostlycontent (Apr 16, 2014)

doobie said:


> What right does one person have to tell another person what to wear or what not to wear? Whether my H likes it or not I would wear what I damn well please!


I would agree with you in most cases but when wearing something revealing or potentially overly revealing, I think one can state opposition. 

My wife used to wear clothes like that, in fact well into her middle 40s because she had the figure for it. She still does by the way but it starts to look a bit foolish the older you get.

She only wore stuff like that when we went out together. Both of us thought it was inappropriate, for instance, when she was going out with her girlfriends. She always dressed in a sexy manner but never wanted to appear loose and promiscuous when out alone without me. That sends the wrong message and can usually only lead to trouble or unwanted attention.

Now if your wife/girlfriend really desires attention from other men instead of you then maybe you have bigger fish to fry.


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## Me Vietare (Nov 26, 2014)

Oh yes! But only if she lost enough weight that she looked like the model.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I spent yesterday at the mall with my wife (who does not live with me) shopping for clothing for her for our child's wedding later this year. And by shopping I mean going to Macy's, Talbot's and Dillard's gathering up dress after dress for her to try on then matching it with shoulder coverings/shawls then matching that with new bags and shoes. And doing that for 4 different outfits that will be needed. Tomorrow we go accessorizing. So far we got a sheer flowing long dress in black and white with a nice pattern up top and a solid bottom. And a more simple navy knit A-line knee length with short sleeves. Then a more formal structured piece like something Jackie O would wear except in red. Also a short matador style half jacket, a few long pattered scarves that can serve as a wrap. One new clutch in black, another in maroon. 3 pairs of heels about 3" heels. Figure there's about 10 more pieces to assemble. 

Because left to her own devices she'll look like a crazy cat woman who lives in a dumpster. And believe me I'm the last person anyone would call a micro manager. I'm not. But it has to be done - by someone. And she will represent all of us. So I pick out everything. She tries it on and tosses out about half of it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am a pretty conservative minded woman myself.. when I clicked on the picture, I was expecting much WORSE.. low neck line, or in between the cup cakes showing..(pretty common these days - in Hollywood anyway)..it all eventually filters down to us all, showing up on the racks. 

I must admit. I didn't find anything wrong with it.. though I am still one who thinks if you're not going to be with your man.. YOU KNOW YOU ARE HOT.. YOU KNOW IT CATCHES many men's eyes looking you up & down with delight.. . that such women should tone it down if they are not with their significant other....

This is a more older fashioned way of thinking...many will not agree with me .. but there it is.. 



> *Mostlycontent said*: My wife used to wear clothes like that, in fact well into her middle 40s because she had the figure for it. She still does by the way but it starts to look a bit foolish the older you get.
> 
> *She only wore stuff like that when we went out together. Both of us thought it was inappropriate, for instance, when she was going out with her girlfriends. She always dressed in a sexy manner but never wanted to appear loose and promiscuous when out alone without me. That sends the wrong message and can usually only lead to trouble or unwanted attention.
> 
> Now if your wife/girlfriend really desires attention from other men instead of you then maybe you have bigger fish to fry.*


Myself & husband think like this.. we're on the same page.. Sucks to get older too.. I enjoy dressing a little seductive -* for his eyes only*.. it just UPs a little something in both of us..it's a lot of FUN... I wouldn't dare go out of my house in some of the things I have at home !


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

markanderson said:


> Yes that is part of the problem being 21. I blame myself not her. Love is blind.



Depends. I have 23 and 20 year old daughters, both capable of wearing the dress in question. Their mom is 56 and also capable of same.

Depends on the context. We go on cruises or vacations almost yearly and none of the three ladies above have any issues with wearing such dresses there. Me either, esp for my wife. She has a superb body and with two designers in the family she always dresses the part. Would she wear it at work? No. But she does wear stuff at work that make me wonder sometimes. 

But single in college parties? Depends who they're going with. And how they behave themselves. Married in a family reception? Probably not. Clubbing GNO? Perfect. 

You're only 21 once but you'll have the opportunity to wear stuff like that for many years. It's how you wear the stuff and where you wear it as much as what you wear.


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## anonfrank (Apr 18, 2013)

To answer the OP's question: yes.


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

markanderson said:


> I live in Seattle the last time i know, there is no one stoning a women for dressing like this, i guess you need to go and see, how woman dress here, not many here dress ****ty. Unless you go to clubs.


Ha ha ha my bad. Yeah Seattle has a lot to offer in fashion but many of the women there look better in a fashionable sweater (knitwear is very forgiving). :laugh:

If your wife can pull off that dress she is like a bait fish in a tank of Trout in Seattle. I get it now.

Good luck.


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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

Well, for one. I don't let my wife wear anything. She's an adult and can dress herself.

Two, if a woman has the body for it. I don't see a reason not to wear it. It's a nice dress, and its summer time.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

markanderson said:


> Believe me we went that road many times, she controls me as well.
> Was your soldier boyfriend overseas ? when you were dating him ?


Neither of you should be controlling the other, that is not healthy or sustainable long term. 

My soldier boyfriend was overseas for a period of time, yes. Not all the time though. When I went out with him and our friends I only had eyes for him, and the times he was overseas, when I was out with my friends I wasn't the least bit interested in anyone else - all of us were there to dance, have a few drinks and have some fun together. None of us were there to pick up men. Yuck.

I recall I actually knocked a guy out who came on too strong...he was sleazy and wouldn't leave me alone and he touched me one too many times and that was that, I spun around and knocked him out cold, lol. My solider bf was there that night, he was like "that's my girl!", hehehe!

Hey, no means no! :wink2:


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I don't see anything wrong with that dress. It is tight, but far from provocative. 

It wouldn't be an issue for me if I had a girlfriend who wore something like that out on a GNO, for the simple fact that I would never date a woman who goes out clubbing with girlfriends on a weekly basis.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

frusdil said:


> Neither of you should be controlling the other, that is not healthy or sustainable long term.
> 
> My soldier boyfriend was overseas for a period of time, yes. Not all the time though. When I went out with him and our friends I only had eyes for him, and the times he was overseas, when I was out with my friends I wasn't the least bit interested in anyone else - all of us were there to dance, have a few drinks and have some fun together. None of us were there to pick up men. Yuck.
> 
> ...


Where was your soldier boyfriend when all this groping was happening? 
Playing pool?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

"...she says, that i am a grand father and not modern."

You're 32 and a grandfather? Wowza!

Would you have any objection to her wearing that outfit in your company? My husband would have loved it and I would have worn that particular outfit.

When I was her age, my husband would go to a particular boutique that I frequented and come home with some very revealing clothes for me. Thank God I owned a sewing machine and altered those puppies.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

First, you don't have the authority to permit or not permit your wife to wear anything. She's an adult in charge of her own body and what she puts on it.

Second, though, if this is the sort of thing she chooses to wear on a night out without you, it does say that she doesn't have much respect for herself, her marriage or you. You'd think the first experience with someone grabbing her would have taught her the risks of wearing that. No, it wasn't right for someone to grab her but reality is that there are people who would treat that outfit as an invitation to do more than look.

But I'm guessing you knew she loved clubbing and male attention and dressed like that when you met and married her. Did you expect her to immediately change who she was afterwards?


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Where was your soldier boyfriend when all this groping was happening?
> Playing pool?


Um, he was there and the bloke wasn't groping me. He was just there and very annoying and would touch my arm or try to put his arm around me. I can take care of myself - I had to as my then bf wasn't always in the country, if he'd needed to step in, he would have.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

markanderson said:


> I could do something similar to this, but at the right time.
> 
> The thing is she does something and i take revenge, this cycle continues. What is the point of being married ?. We would better go our own separate ways.
> 
> ...


ah makes sense now why you are insecure and feel the need to control her attire. The problem is not the wardrobe, it's trying to have a long distance relationship. How much longer until you two live together?


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

"Let?"

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

My H said if I was with him, it's okay. If I was with other girls at the club...not appropriate. 

BUT....

I'm 31...I don't club. I have the body for that dress, but wouldn't wear it. I'm more conservative.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

Lots of angry people in here who don't know about marriage and are drunk with extreme feminism.

In a marriage, we do have expectations of our spouses. My wife "controls" what I wear. She buys me my clothes and if I wear something that isn't good for an occasion, she picks something else out for me. I don't get angry and yell at her for being "controlling". She does it because she wants me to look good. Similarly, she doesn't like it when I eat burgers and too much meat because it is not healthy. She dumps loads of veggies on my plate and doesn't even ask me. I just quietly eat them because I know it's for my own good and she wants me to be healthy. Should I shout at her for ruling my life? I am in my 40s, I can eat whatever I damn please!!!  No, I don't do that.

The same way, I see nothing wrong if I tell her that a dress she's wearing is too risque or is transparent. I like her bra or her cleavage showing but I don't like the world to see. She doesn't fight with me or show me the middle finger. She is hot and beautiful and slim and gets male attention in her late 30s after 2 kids. Not to say, smart too. The only time she grumbles is when she buys too many unnecessary things for the kids and I crib about it.

Marriage is about compromise. The wife should be sensitive to the husbands wishes and the husband should be sensitive to the wife's. I cannot dress like a slob at events because I don't care and want to be comfy. Similarly the wife cannot dress like a hoar if the husband is not happy.
The moment you go into "F U, I will do what I please" area, then it's the end.


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## Gonecrazy (Oct 12, 2014)

Hi mate,
Today I saw an 18-year-old girl with shorts so short the bottom half of her backside was hanging out. Great perv, I was a little disappointed looking at your picture. The reality of the situation, is that you are going to look like a complete and utter control freak on a forum that is filled with empowering women. 

No you do not have a right to tell her what to wear, but let's just be real for a minute. Women don't wear things like that because it feels nice against their skin! They wear clothes like that to get attention from men. Whether they just want an ego at boost, or to attract a lover, that is your real concern. 

Your best reaction is to do nothing. You react in anyway shape or form, you're the jerk of a husband who doesn't deserve her. I personally would start going to gym and making myself look sexy. Two reasons, one would be to keep up with her, the second would be to get my own ego boost. if like you said you could get women anyway, that it makes no difference if she pick someone up and cheats, you can just dump her and move on.

Have a little faith in her abilities to set boundaries, and remember you have a contingency plan if she can't.


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

1. She's 21. Girls that age dress like that. If she can't enjoy clothes and her looks now, then when, when she's 50? lol

2. If she is pretty, men will chase her even if she wears sweat pants and tennis shoes. Accept that.

3. Forbidding another person to do/ wear/ say anything, will just make them want to do it more. Stop pushing against her outfits, it doesn't help.

That being said, I think a compromise should happen. I wouldn't wear something if it made my husband unhappy. But dressing like a nun at all times would make ME unhappy, and that's not right either. So, dressing like mostly when with you, instead of all the time, and you complaining less and enjoying her beauty more instead, must be the way. Meet half way. 

And for goodness sake, what marriage is that living abroad from each other? I'd worry about that, not the dress...


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## IDon'tKnowAnymore (Jul 6, 2015)

Well, now, I think the problem might not be the dress, but the fact that you use words like "let"... and "****ty."

First of all... you don't get to dictate what she wears. That's HER decision.
And calling your wife's choice of attire ****ty is more inappropriate than that dress.

OK.

Now that we have THAT cleared up...

... there is nothing wrong with you communicating to her that you don't feel comfortable with her dressing THAT way. HOWEVER, the way you do makes a whole heap of difference, MR.

If you do it in a loving way, that expresses your feelings without insulting her, that's good. If you do it in a way that makes her feel bad, that's not so good. 

Get my drift?


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

On the off-chance that she actually stays with your smarmy azz for the next forty years, by the time she reaches 60 you will be wishing she could fit in a dress like that again. I say enjoy it while you can.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> On the off-chance that she actually stays with your smarmy azz for the next forty years, by the time she reaches 60 you will be wishing she could fit in a dress like that again. I say enjoy it while you can.


(Well, bandit, I can fit in an outfit like that, but the rest of the stuff that's showing doesn't quite look the same, LOL)


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

alte Dame said:


> (Well, bandit, I can fit in an outfit like that, but the rest of the stuff that's showing doesn't quite look the same, LOL)


Present company excluded.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

This thread is reducing a somewhat more complicated set of habits with a sideline issue.

OP you and your wife have a bad cycle. You guys behave badly toward each other, then seek revenge (your word, not mine) on each other. Someone has to change the dynamic to one of trust, love, GOOD behavior. If my husband said he would not "let" me wear something, I would laugh at him. But I care about him a great deal. So if he expressed concerns about something, I listen.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

The ultra-feminist types as expected got nitpicky about OP's choice of words and displayed fake outrage over the word "let" rather than to respond to the issue at hand. Very typical and an easy way to release pent up anger over men.

The good posters looked beyond that and brought up some good points. 21 year olds will dress like that, it is natural. In my case, my wife is more conservative and I actually tell her to dress in skirts and tight shirts because she has the figure to carry it off and it makes me happy and I love to look at her. Yes, I bet other men also look, but I don't care and I know she isn't trying to get other male attention beyond what is acceptable. Yes, it is always an ego boost if the opposite gender looks at you so I will not get riled up about that. As a guy, I can understand where OP is coming from. He may come from a conservative background or is worried that his wife is trying to get male attention above what is acceptable/normal. 

The only thing you can do really is talk to her, husband to wife, and come to a compromise that both of you are okay with. Don't try to order or command her because even if she obeys, she will feel resentful. Let it come from the heart.
It's not fair for you to make her dress like a nun or in a burqa especially at her age, but you can talk to her about scaling down a bit to something you are comfortable with. If she doesn't care about your feelings, then you have your answer. She doesn't give a sh|t about your feelings and is giving you a middle finger so to speak. The dress you posted doesn't look very revealing to me compared to what I have seen in the US where many women walk around with their boobs in your face, obviously tempting men to look (and then they complain that men objectify women by staring). 

There may be more that I have missed out or you may not have revealed here, but that is what I would do in your place. Remember if she listens to you, you have to do the same. 

Don't listen to the ultra-feminists on this board or outside. Most have bad marriages and hate men in general (for good reason and for not) and in general give bad advice blaming men for everything and protecting women as if they have no faults. Their agenda is to beat up men, not to help you improve your marriage.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> On the off-chance that she actually stays with your smarmy azz for the next forty years, by the time she reaches 60 you will be wishing she could fit in a dress like that again. I say enjoy it while you can.


Well now...I'm 56 and dress sexy often. The H likes it but the reality is that I don't give a hoot if he does or not, I will dress to please me.

I have earned that right at this stage of my life. 

And I do have the looks for what I wear...or I wouldn't wear it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> Well now...I'm 56 and dress sexy often. The H likes it but the reality is that I don't give a hoot if he does or not, I will dress to please me.
> 
> I have earned that right at this stage of my life.
> 
> And I do have the looks for what I wear...or I wouldn't wear it.


Well...good for you.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

LonelyinLove said:


> the reality is that I don't give a hoot if he does or not, I will dress to please me.


Another example of women making statements like this, but if a man said he didn't give a hoot about his wife's feelings/views, the same women cry blue murder.

Very hypocritical.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

nirvana said:


> Another example of women making statements like this, but if a man said he didn't give a hoot about his wife's feelings/views, the same women cry blue murder.
> 
> Very hypocritical.


Very untrue. 

H can, and does, wear whatever he chooses. We talk about and compromise on many things of great importance. 

My apparel is not one of them.


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## LonelyinLove (Jul 11, 2013)

Personal said:


> Those who live in glass houses...


No joke.

I am definitely not a Feminist, but I'm also not a burka wearing doormat that is going to tolerate my H deciding my wardrobe.

Methinks that poster doth protest a bit too much..... :laugh:


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## Harley Rider (Jul 7, 2015)

I've never been the jealous type. Far from it. My wife is fine. I don't think so - I know so. If I know she's fine, I'm positive all the other men think so too. And brother - I'm good with that. Makes me look good that she's on my arm. When I walk into a restaurant with my wife, I want to hear women slapping there men behind us as we walk past because her husband turned his head to look at my wife. Brother - if she has the body for the dress, chill out and let her have some fun.


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## nirvana (Jul 2, 2012)

Yeah, I have no problems with my wife wearing anything she wants because she is balanced enough to know what is okay and what is not. But then not everyone is lucky. 

I definitely feel that things like this should be negotiated between husband and wife and this "I will do whatever the F I want" attitude is harmful. Remember the other spouse can do the same and may be what you absolutely cannot deal with. 

Like Harley says, it makes me feel good that my wife can carry off all kinds of clothes very well and makes me proud that she is mine.  

I agree that he should not object to the dress as long as she does not go overboard or behave slooty.


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