# Only want this question answered by woman and I want complete Honesty



## SMG15

why the hell would a woman who is not interested in seeing a guy for a second date ask him to walk her to the train which is a 8 block walk only to say this when we part ways

"it was nice meeting you"


I don't know much about dating but I am normal enough to know that particular statement didn't sound too good after a date. Which probably explains why she didn't text me to let me know she arrived home. 

Why do some women do this stupid sh*T? Now I have to send her a inappropriate text for wasting my energy and time? All she had to say was "I have to go not can you walk with me to train.

I hate dating


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> why the hell would a woman who is not interested in seeing a guy for a second date ask him to walk her to the train which is a 8 block walk only to say this when we part ways
> 
> "it was nice meeting you"
> 
> 
> I don't know much about dating but I am normal enough to know that particular statement didn't sound too good after a date. Which probably explains why she didn't text me to let me know she arrived home.
> 
> Why do some women do this stupid sh*T? Now I have to send her a inappropriate text for wasting my energy and time? All she had to say was "I have to go not can you walk with me to train.
> 
> I hate dating


Was it dark out?


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## firebelly1

From a woman's perspective: yes, if it was dark or late, she might just feel safer having you walk her to the train. She says "it was nice meeting you" because, maybe it was. And maybe, it was nice meeting you but she's not interested in a second date. Look, women are trained not to bruise men's egos and to be "nice". So, we learn to dance around things and not be blunt. I know it can be frustrating, and I hate dating too, but there it is.


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## Ms. GP

The fear of rape, death, and dismemberment by walking 8 blocks by myself after dark might make me ask someone to walk with me. But hey, that's just me!! Mabye she forgot to text you. She might be interested after all. Lighten up man!


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> Was it dark out?


It was dark but we were in the downtown section of a city at 8pm in the evening


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## SMG15

Ms. GP said:


> The fear of rape, death, and dismemberment by walking 8 blocks by myself after dark might make me ask someone to walk with me. But hey, that's just me!! Mabye she forgot to text you. She might be interested after all. Lighten up man!


This was her response to my text the following morning after asking was she feeling better

"Hi SMG, Made it home and to work this morning. Thanks for checking in"

So that text didn't look good either


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> It was dark but we were in the downtown section of a city at 8pm in the evening


So what? Maybe she does not like walking in the dark alone. I wouldn't particularly like walking in the city alone at night either and would avoid doing it at all costs. You were being chivalrous. She was being nice in saying it was nice to meet you. Wouldn't you be just as ticked off if she'd told you at the end of your 2-3 hours long coffee date that she wasn't interested? Then you'd be saying she wasted your time.


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> This was her response to my text the following morning after asking was she feeling better
> 
> "Hi SMG, Made it home and to work this morning. Thanks for checking in"
> 
> So that text didn't look good either


Nope, she's not interested.


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## SMG15

Ms. GP said:


> The fear of rape, death, and dismemberment by walking 8 blocks by myself after dark might make me ask someone to walk with me. But hey, that's just me!! Mabye she forgot to text you. She might be interested after all. Lighten up man!



So USE someone for her protection? That means you call a cab not confuse a guy and make him think you are interested


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> So USE someone for her protection? That means you call a cab not confuse a guy and make him think you are interested


So you think that was her agenda? To save a couple bucks on a cab?


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## SMG15

Plus she was asking me questions about myself during that 8 block walk like 

what type of movies I like and music. So it wasn't like it was a quiet 8 block walk.


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## Ms. GP

SMG15 said:


> This was her response to my text the following morning after asking was she feeling better
> 
> "Hi SMG, Made it home and to work this morning. Thanks for checking in"
> 
> So that text didn't look good either


Why did you ask was she feeling better? Did she say she was sick on the date? Or did you ask if she was sick because she hadn't texted you back that night. If it was the latter, that looks really needy. Just saying..


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> So you think that was her agenda? To save a couple bucks on a cab?


Listen we were in a busy lit up section of a big city at 8pm so I don't want to hear anything about her wanting to be safe

We were in a very low crime area which was very busy. The Times Square section of Philadelphia


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> Plus she was asking me questions about myself during that 8 block walk like
> 
> what type of movies I like and music. So it wasn't like it was a quiet 8 block walk.


What would you have done if she wasn't asking you questions? Stopped after 2 blocks and ditched her?


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## SMG15

Ms. GP said:


> Why did you ask was she feeling better? Did she say she was sick on the date? Or did you ask if she was sick because she hadn't texted you back that night. If it was the latter, that looks really needy. Just saying..


She was sneezing during the date and that's why I asked.


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> Listen we were in a busy lit up section of a big city at 8pm so I don't want to hear anything about her wanting to be safe
> 
> We were in a very low crime area which was very busy. The Times Square section of Philadelphia


I'm quite familiar with nighttime in Philly. I live in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I would not want to walk around by myself at night.


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> What would you have done if she wasn't asking you questions? Stopped after 2 blocks and ditched her?


Yes, you think I am going to walk with someone in complete silence for 8 blocks? You don;t think that would be weird?


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> Yes, you think I am going to walk with someone in complete silence for 8 blocks? You don;t think that would be weird?


Might be uncomfortable, but as a man, I think you should be more concerned about the safety of women than your ego.


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## Ms. GP

SMG15 said:


> So USE someone for her protection? That means you call a cab not confuse a guy and make him think you are interested


Use for Protection?? You wouldn't be a gentleman and walk a woman you weren't interested in (and/or interested in you) to the train? Talk about using folks.


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> Might be uncomfortable, but as a man, I think you should be more concerned about the safety of women than your ego.


She made that clear that I didn't need to concern myself with her safety when she didnt text when she arrived home


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> She made that clear that I didn't need to concern myself with her safety when she didnt text when she arrived home


How old are you, SMG?


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## SMG15

Ms. GP said:


> Use for Protection?? You wouldn't be a gentleman and walk a woman you weren't interested in (and/or interested in you) to the train? Talk about using folks.


HELL NO

To a car yes that is down the street, No I am not walking 8 blocks with someone I am not going to see again


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> How old are you, SMG?


In my 30's.  started dating at 23


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> HELL NO


You will need to adjust this mindset if you ever want to find love.


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## SARAHMCD

I think you have to stop taking things so seriously. I'm guessing she had a nice time with you and wanted to continue it a bit further by having you walk with her those 8 blocks. 
I agree, she should have texted you when she got home as you had asked - that would have been the polite thing to do. But perhaps she simply forgot or got distracted at home. 
Her response to your text the next morning seemed very vague though. If I was interested I would have responded with something like "I had a great time last night". That would encourage you to ask her out again. But she didn't really give you an open door by just simply answering your question and not asking anything back either. 
Its possible that she really did have a good time in the moment, but thinking back on it, perhaps she rethought a few things and changed her mind. We've all had great first dates and were left wondering what happened when the person wasn't interested in another date. Its possible she's dating others that she's just more interested in or more vested in. Or perhaps she has her own issues about dating anyone period. We can never fully know what's going on in someone else's head. That's the world of dating! You have to have thick skin and live by the motto "easy come, easy go".


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## SecondTime'Round

SARAHMCD said:


> I think you have to stop taking things so seriously. I'm guessing she had a nice time with you and wanted to continue it a bit further by having you walk with her those 8 blocks.
> I agree, she should have texted you when she got home as you had asked - that would have been the polite thing to do. But perhaps she simply forgot or got distracted at home.
> Her response to your text the next morning seemed very vague though. If I was interested I would have responded with something like "I had a great time last night". That would encourage you to ask her out again. But she didn't really give you an open door by just simply answering your question and not asking anything back either.
> Its possible that she really did have a good time in the moment, but thinking back on it, perhaps she rethought a few things and changed her mind. We've all had great first dates and were left wondering what happened when the person wasn't interested in another date. Its possible she's dating others that she's just more interested in or more vested in. Or perhaps she has her own issues about dating anyone period. We can never fully know what's going on in someone else's head. That's the world of dating! You have to have thick skin and live by the motto "easy come, easy go".


Well said, Sarah.

You have no idea what she arrived home to. Maybe her dog threw up all over himself in his crate. Maybe she got a phone call. Maybe she stopped somewhere and met a friend for drinks and forgot. 

Do NOT send her a nasty text now about it. How do you think that will make you look to her?


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## Nomorebeans

Sounds like she wanted to continue getting to know you during the walk, as Sara said. If I was pretty much done with a date after coffee was over, I'd have gotten a cab or something if I could afford it. It'd probably only be five bucks or so for 8 blocks, so definitely doable.

Maybe one of your answers to her questions made her decide against a second date? For example, if I asked my first date what kind of music he liked and he said, "Country," there wouldn't be a second. For real.


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## Ms. GP

SMG15 said:


> HELL NO
> 
> To a car yes that is down the street, No I am not walking 8 blocks with someone I am not going to see again


The man I'm married to would in a heart beat!! That's one of the reasons why my roommate at the time introduced us. They were lab partners and he would walk her to her car after dark and was very respectful to her and the fact she was engaged at the time. It impressed her so much she introduced us.


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## anonmd

I'm not a women 

Adjust your attitude, right now you sound like a massive jerk.


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## SARAHMCD

SecondTime'Round said:


> Do NOT send her a nasty text now about it. How do you think that will make you look to her?


Agreed. There is absolutely no reason to send her a nasty text at all. She's done nothing wrong. And at this point, I would suggest you still have a window to ask her out again. Strike up the initiative and say that you had a great time and would like to see her again. See what she says. If its no, not interested. Then move on. Still no reason to send a nasty text at all.


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## SecondTime'Round

Nomorebeans said:


> For example, if I asked my first date what kind of music he liked and he said, "Country," there wouldn't be a second. For real.


We can no longer be friends, NMB. :crying:


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## SMG15

SARAHMCD said:


> I think you have to stop taking things so seriously. I'm guessing she had a nice time with you and wanted to continue it a bit further by having you walk with her those 8 blocks.
> I agree, she should have texted you when she got home as you had asked - that would have been the polite thing to do. But perhaps she simply forgot or got distracted at home.
> Her response to your text the next morning seemed very vague though. If I was interested I would have responded with something like "I had a great time last night". That would encourage you to ask her out again. But she didn't really give you an open door by just simply answering your question and not asking anything back either.
> Its possible that she really did have a good time in the moment, but thinking back on it, perhaps she rethought a few things and changed her mind. We've all had great first dates and were left wondering what happened when the person wasn't interested in another date. Its possible she's dating others that she's just more interested in or more vested in. Or perhaps she has her own issues about dating anyone period. We can never fully know what's going on in someone else's head. That's the world of dating! You have to have thick skin and live by the motto "easy come, easy go".



And what pissed me off is by walking her to the train I didn't get to go to dinner at the place I wanted to because I was out of that area. So not only did she waste my time but she also prevented ne from going to one of my favorite places.

The only good thing about this date is I didn;t spend any money on her


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> Well said, Sarah.
> 
> You have no idea what she arrived home to. Maybe her dog threw up all over himself in his crate. Maybe she got a phone call. Maybe she stopped somewhere and met a friend for drinks and forgot.
> 
> Do NOT send her a nasty text now about it. How do you think that will make you look to her?


Nasty text has been sent and her number has been deleted


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> And what pissed *me *off is by walking her to the train *I* didn't get to go to dinner at the place *I wanted to* because *I* was out of that area. So not only did she waste *my* time but she also prevented *me *from going to one of *my *favorite places.
> 
> The only good thing about this date is *I* didn;t spend any money on her


It's such a mystery why she doesn't appear to be interested in you.


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> Nasty text has been sent and her number has been deleted


She's a lucky girl.


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## SARAHMCD

SMG15 said:


> And what pissed me off is by walking her to the train I didn't get to go to dinner at the place I wanted to because I was out of that area. So not only did she waste my time but she also prevented ne from going to one of my favorite places.
> 
> The only good thing about this date is I didn;t spend any money on her


Wow. You are WAY too sensitive. You instantly jump to the negative if the woman doesn't respond exactly as you think she should. Sounds like you had a nice time with meeting her, so how is that a waste of time? 
Also, was this just a meet up for drinks or coffee? If so, are you saying you didn't pick up the tab?


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## SMG15

SARAHMCD said:


> Agreed. There is absolutely no reason to send her a nasty text at all. She's done nothing wrong. And at this point, I would suggest you still have a window to ask her out again. Strike up the initiative and say that you had a great time and would like to see her again. See what she says. If its no, not interested. Then move on. Still no reason to send a nasty text at all.


she did nothing wrong? I went out of my way to walk her to the train and didn't get to go to dinner where I wanted to go but she did nothing wrong?

Plus I would have gotten the hint if she never replied to the text message but she replies. So don't tell me she did nothing wrong


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## SMG15

SARAHMCD said:


> Wow. You are WAY too sensitive. You instantly jump to the negative if the woman doesn't respond exactly as you think she should. Sounds like you had a nice time with meeting her, so how is that a waste of time?
> Also, was this just a meet up for drinks or coffee? If so, are you saying you didn't pick up the tab?


She was at the place before I arrived and already had her coffee.


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## SARAHMCD

SMG15 said:


> Nasty text has been sent and her number has been deleted


:surprise:


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## SARAHMCD

SMG15 said:


> she did nothing wrong? I went out of my way to walk her to the train and didn't get to go to dinner where I wanted to go but she did nothing wrong?
> 
> Plus I would have gotten the hint if she never replied to the text message but she replies. So don't tell me she did nothing wrong


Wow. She replied to be polite and not ghost you(which I think is much ruder). Again, you may still have had a window there. It certainly didn't warrant a nasty text.

Did she even know you had plans for dinner and this was taking you out of your way? 8 blocks is not that far for you to walk and possibly walk back anyways.


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## SMG15

SARAHMCD said:


> Wow. She replied to be polite and not ghost you(which I think is much ruder). Again, you may still have had a window there. It certainly didn't warrant a nasty text.
> 
> Did she even know you had plans for dinner and this was taking you out of your way? 8 blocks is not that far for you to walk and possibly walk back anyways.


I prefer ghost. And does it make a difference whether it's ghost or not since the person still is not interested. How does being polite make it any better?


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## SMG15

SARAHMCD said:


> Wow. She replied to be polite and not ghost you(which I think is much ruder). Again, you may still have had a window there. It certainly didn't warrant a nasty text.
> 
> Did she even know you had plans for dinner and this was taking you out of your way? 8 blocks is not that far for you to walk and possibly walk back anyways.


Right I was going to walk back 8 blocks in the opposition direction LOL


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## Nomorebeans

Sounds like she's dodged a bullet, here.

STR, we can still be friends! Just don't ever play Country music around me, or if you must, play it softly. Except for the old-time bluesy stuff - that, I like.


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## richie33

The least she should have done was a rub and roll over bro. Cmon you walked 8 blocks and spent no money on the date...sheesh broads these days!!!!


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> I prefer ghost. And does it make a difference whether it's ghost or not since the person still is not interested. How does being polite make it any better?


I'm curious....what's your typical reaction if someone is upfront with you and tells you they are simply not interested?


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## GusPolinski

SMG15 said:


> why the hell would a woman who is not interested in seeing a guy for a second date ask him to walk her to the train which is a 8 block walk only to say this when we part ways
> 
> "it was nice meeting you"
> 
> 
> I don't know much about dating but I am normal enough to know that particular statement didn't sound too good after a date. Which probably explains why she didn't text me to let me know she arrived home.
> 
> Why do some women do this stupid sh*T? Now I have to send her a inappropriate text for wasting my energy and time? All she had to say was "I have to go not can you walk with me to train.
> 
> I hate dating


I'm clearly not a lady but she may have had a couple of different reasons for asking you to walk her to the train...

1. She didn't feel safe.
2. She hadn't yet made up her mind about you and figured she'd use the extra time w/ you to do so. And, more specifically, she may have wanted to gauge your reaction to the question itself.


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## SARAHMCD

SMG15 said:


> I prefer ghost. And does it make a difference whether it's ghost or not since the person still is not interested. How does being polite make it any better?


So you're simply angry because you've decided she's not interested? Again, you can't take dating that seriously. Wow. 

By the way, I'm not sure I would even come to that conclusion yet from what you've shared. But you've sealed that deal now because she didn't respond exactly the way you thought she should.


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## SecondTime'Round

Nomorebeans said:


> Sounds like she's dodged a bullet, here.
> 
> STR, we can still be friends! Just don't ever play Country music around me, or if you must, play it softly. Except for the old-time bluesy stuff - that, I like.


Haha! It's not my favorite genre, but I do have to admit I like it. However, my disgusting ex recently accused me of having the song "girl crush" written about me because of how I feel about his OW. (Look it up) Like i should expect anything but that behavior from him...... (I now change the station every time that song comes on)

Hijack over!


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## 3Xnocharm

SMG15 said:


> And what pissed me off is by walking her to the train I didn't get to go to dinner at the place I wanted to because I was out of that area. So not only did she waste my time but she also prevented ne from going to one of my favorite places.
> 
> The only good thing about this date is I didn;t spend any money on her


Gee, I wonder why you're single! :slap:


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## BlueWoman

SMG15 said:


> she did nothing wrong? I went out of my way to walk her to the train and didn't get to go to dinner where I wanted to go but she did nothing wrong?
> 
> Plus I would have gotten the hint if she never replied to the text message but she replies. So don't tell me she did nothing wrong


Yeah, she did nothing wrong. Except for maybe going out with you the first time. You're kind of a d!ck. You definitely need to find somebody with really really low self esteem.


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## As'laDain

...

...

wow...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> I'm curious....what's your typical reaction if someone is upfront with you and tells you they are simply not interested?


I have more respect for her


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## Catherine602

You have the wrong idea of dating. Primarily, you're getting to know what you like and don't like about women. That means you don't form any attachment until you've dated at lest 10 women. Then you will be more relaxed about dating and able to decide what you like and don't like. 

Some dates will be duds for no apparent reason. This woman may have been making conversation to fill the time while you were walking. She may have been uncomfortable about walking 8 blocks alone, no matter how safe it seemed to you. 

Anyway, she wasn't that in to you and she was being kind to tell you indirectly. Let it go. Don't get bitter and angry, that will carry over to subsequent dates. What you experienced is dating not a rejection. Remember, you are interviewing the women you meet and they are interviewing you.


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> I have more respect for her


But, how do you react? Does she still get the nasty, angry text from you?


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## SecondTime'Round

Catherine602 said:


> You have the wrong idea of dating. Primarily, you're getting to know what you like and don't like about women. That means you don't form any attachment until you've dated at lest 10 women. Then you will be more relaxed about dating and able to decide what you like and don't like.
> 
> Some dates will be duds for no apparent reason. This woman may have been making conversation to fill the time while you were walking. She may have been uncomfortable about walking 8 blocks alone, no matter how safe it seemed to you. Anyway, she is not worth thinking about because you have no connection with her. Don't get bitter or angry, that will carry over to subsequent dates. *What you experienced is dating not a rejection. Remember, you are interviewing the women you meet.*


This is how I feel about both dating and job interviews. You're both just meeting to see if you're mutually compatible.


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## gouge_away

Next time you know, if a woman asks you to accompany her back to safety, ask her, "what's in it for me?" Lemme know how that works!

I'm guessing 75% of the time your getting burned, but its that 1 in 4 I'm curious about,


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## SMG15

Catherine602 said:


> You have the wrong idea of dating. Primarily, you're getting to know what you like and don't like about women. That means you don't form any attachment until you've dated at lest 10 women. Then you will be more relaxed about dating and able to decide what you like and don't like.
> 
> Some dates will be duds for no apparent reason. This woman may have been making conversation to fill the time while you were walking. She may have been uncomfortable about walking 8 blocks alone, no matter how safe it seemed to you. Anyway, she is not worth thinking about because you have no connection with her. Don't get bitter or angry, that will carry over to subsequent dates. What you experienced is dating not a rejection. Remember, you are interviewing the women you meet.


You right.

I have another date this week and I am not in a big rush for it because this girl looks a lot better than the girl I met 3 nights ago. 

It was scheduled for tomorrow but I am not ready to go on another date until Tue or wed


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> But, how do you react? Does she still get the nasty, angry text from you?


No, I had that happen in May and we are friends. I actually plan to call her tonight and tell her about the NUT I met 3 nights ago


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## SMG15

gouge_away said:


> Next time you know, if a woman asks you to accompany her back to safety, ask her, "what's in it for me?" Lemme know how that works!
> 
> I'm guessing 75% of the time your getting burned, but its that 1 in 4 I'm curious about,


No I had a nice date on friday night and had chinese for dinner and had a walk in the park.


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## NoChoice

OP,
As a male I find your attitude to be selfish, inconsiderate and lacking maturity. She should not have had to ask you to walk her, you should have asked about her mode of transportation and offered to walk her whether you ever thought you would see her again or not. Find a dictionary and look up the word "gentleman" and then decide if being one is of any interest to you.


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## staarz21

Wait, wait, wait...you're in your 30's and you immaturely sent a nasty text message to a woman who had not even been rude to you simply because at the end of the night, she didn't want to date you (and you don't even KNOW that for sure. You assumed it)? That is something a 14 year old would do. 

You're selfish and immature. You've been "dating" apparently unsuccessfully since your mid 20's - Don't you think you should go about it a different way? 

It's no wonder these women are fleeing as soon as they talk to you. Your attitude sucks.


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## Catherine602

SMG15 said:


> You right.
> 
> I have another date this week and I am not in a big rush for it because this girl looks a lot better than the girl I met 3 nights ago.
> 
> It was scheduled for tomorrow but I am not ready to go on another date until Tue or wed





SMG15 said:


> No, I had that happen in May and we are friends. I actually plan to call her tonight and tell her about the *NUT I met 3 nights ago*


You are taking this too seriously. Calm down. Maybe you are not ready to date yet. If you found a connection now, you would screw it up.


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## Constable Odo

SMG15 said:


> why the hell would a woman who is not interested in seeing a guy for a second date ask him to walk her to the train which is a 8 block walk only to say this when we part ways[...]"it was nice meeting you"[...]I hate dating


My guess is she surmised you were a rage-o-holic, or the creepy stalker type, and decided one date was enough.


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## SMG15

NoChoice said:


> OP,
> As a male I find your attitude to be selfish, inconsiderate and lacking maturity. She should not have had to ask you to walk her, you should have asked about her mode of transportation and offered to walk her whether you ever thought you would see her again or not. Find a dictionary and look up the word "gentleman" and then decide if being one is of any interest to you.


When I asked women in the past to walk them to the train they said NO because they wasn't interested

So I don't like that mixed signal **** by asking me to walk with her. Usually it's me who has to ask so you can see why I was confused that she wasn't interested


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## Satya




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## SMG15

Catherine602 said:


> You are taking this too seriously. Calm down. Maybe you are not ready to date yet. If you found a connection now, you would screw it up.


Well I was on a 6 week hiatus for dating and that night was my first date since 5/31. So maybe I was rusty who knows but I seemed to had rebound the next night since that one went well


BTW: Every single woman I met off OKC has rejected me

Not the case with Plenty of Fish


Never understood that


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## arbitrator

firebelly1 said:


> From a woman's perspective: yes, if it was dark or late, she might just feel safer having you walk her to the train. She says "it was nice meeting you" because, maybe it was. And maybe, it was nice meeting you but she's not interested in a second date. Look, women are trained not to bruise men's egos and to be "nice". So, we learn to dance around things and not be blunt. I know it can be frustrating, and I hate dating too, but there it is.


*But wouldn't you all agree that what she did was emblematic of "using" this man? I would certainly think so!*


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## SMG15

arbitrator said:


> *But wouldn't you all agree that what she did was emblematic of "using" this man? I would certainly think so!*


Thank you arbitrator.

You should know by now whenever a woman does something wrong it always has to be justified


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## Cooper

SMG15 said:


> Nasty text has been sent and her number has been deleted


Wow, that was very brave of you, way to teach her a lesson. (That is sarcasm in case you didn't get it)


Right now she is showing the text to her friends and they are all high fiving each other because she just dodged a relationship bullet.


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> When I asked women in the past to walk them to the train *they said NO because they wasn't interested*
> 
> So I don't like that mixed signal **** by asking me to walk with her. Usually it's me who has to ask so you can see why I was confused that she wasn't interested


It's possible she was turned off by your grammar.


----------



## SecondTime'Round

arbitrator said:


> *But wouldn't you all agree that what she did was emblematic of "using" this man? I would certainly think so!*


She sat through a 2-3 hour coffee date with him (which she paid for) all to get a walk to the train?


----------



## SMG15

My next date was scheduled for tomorrow but since it will be too hot, 95 degrees I have decided to move it to wed or thursday


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> My next date was scheduled for tomorrow but since it will be too hot, 95 degrees I have decided to move it to wed or thursday


And what has your date decided? What if that doesn't work for her? Will she also get a nasty text message from you?


----------



## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> And what has your date decided? What if that doesn't work for her? Will she also get a nasty text message from you?


she agreed that 95 degrees is too hot and was ok with the reschedule

Unless you on the beach


----------



## GusPolinski

SMG15 said:


> No, I had that happen in May and we are friends. I actually plan to call her tonight and tell her about the NUT I met 3 nights ago


LOL. I'm sure she'll have plenty to say about the nut that she met back in May.

Dude... how old are you? Where are you from? Where do you live?


----------



## SMG15

GusPolinski said:


> LOL. I'm sure she'll have plenty to say about the nut that she met back in May.
> 
> Dude... how old are you? Where are you from? Where do you live?


why you trying to take me on a date? LOL


----------



## GusPolinski

SMG15 said:


> why you trying to take me on a date? LOL


You should be so lucky. I might be a social idiot, but I could teach you VOLUMES.

Here's a free tip -- any first date that ends by 8 pm won't be followed by a second date.


----------



## arbitrator

SecondTime'Round said:


> She sat through a 2-3 hour coffee date with him (which she paid for) all to get a walk to the train?


*Was he made quite aware of the fact at the coffee date, that he was going to be her chosen escort to the train depot afterwards, or was this just a last minute choice on her part, seeing that there were no other viable candidates under consideration for the part?*


----------



## GusPolinski

SecondTime'Round said:


> She sat through a 2-3 hour coffee date with him *(which she paid for)* all to get a walk to the train?


Wait... what?

:lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl: :lol: :rofl:


----------



## SMG15

GusPolinski said:


> You should be so lucky. I might be a social idiot, but I could teach you VOLUMES.
> 
> Here's a free tip -- any first date that ends by 8 pm won't be followed by a second date.


even on a work night?


----------



## gouge_away

Jackin dis sh!t

So, has anybody else had better success finding dates in certain seasons?

It seems I always hooks up around spring.


----------



## SMG15

gouge_away said:


> Jackin dis sh!t
> 
> So, has anybody else had better success finding dates in certain seasons?
> 
> It seems I always hooks up around spring.




Past few years it's been the spring and summer.


----------



## gouge_away

Why is that, I swear, I can go out looking for dates all fall and winter and get rejected, but I can't avoid girls hitting on me in spring even if I tried?


----------



## SMG15

gouge_away said:


> Why is that, I swear, I can go out looking for dates all fall and winter and get rejected, but I can't avoid girls hitting on me in spring even if I tried?


I used to do better in the winter because I had on more clothes. In the summer it was harder to hide that I was chunky because all I had on was a short sleeve shirt

In the winter I had on a long sleeve shirt and a coat


----------



## Catherine602

SMG15 said:


> My next date was scheduled for tomorrow but since it will be too hot, 95 degrees I have decided to move it to wed or thursday


Make this one count. Accept that the way you are thinking is working against you. It is strait up wrong. You need to be flexible. In some situations, you may walk a woman home or wherever, just to practice communication and becoming comfortable. No encounter is a waste. You get something out of each experience. 

With your current way of thinking, you will not be able to sustain a LTR. That will be frustrating and lead to more anger and bitterness. You can change this. But it appears that you need a lot of work to accomplish this. 

You asked for advice from women. You've been given very good advice. Take in the spirit in which it was given. A desire to help you not hurt. Don't fall into bitterness towards women. Why bother to date if you approach a relationship is from a position of hostility?


----------



## gouge_away

Yea, its nice to get out and walk off the winter weight too, if you know what I mean.


----------



## Catherine602

SMG15 said:


> I used to do better in the winter because I had on more clothes. In the summer it was harder to hide that I was chunky because all I had on was a short sleeve shirt
> 
> In the winter I had on a long sleeve shirt and a coat


You can't hide who you are. If you are chunky, dress well and walk proud. If a woman does not like it, that's on her. There are woman who like big men. I see chunky men with slim and zoftig women all the time. What do they have that you don't? Confidence.


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SMG, please don't take offense, but do you have some sort of diagnosed disorder such as Asperger's Syndrome?


----------



## SMG15

Catherine602 said:


> Make this one count. Accept that the way you are thinking is working against you. It is strait up wrong. You need to be flexible. In some situations, you may walk a woman home or wherever, just to practice communication and becoming comfortable. No encounter is a waste. You get something out of each experience.
> 
> With your current way of thinking, you will not be able to sustain a LTR. That will be frustrating and lead to more anger and bitterness. You can change this. But it appears that you need a lot of work to accomplish this.
> 
> You asked for advice from women. You've given very good advice. Take in the spirit in which it was given. A desire to help you not hurt. Don't fall into bitterness towards women. Why bother to date if you approach a relationship from a position of hostility?



But why are people telling me I shouldn't be annoyed because she had me walk 8 blocks and then said "nice meeting you"

Don't I have a right to be irritated that she gave me mixed signals? Or because I am a guy I should just laugh it off?


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> But why are people telling me I shouldn't be annoyed because she had me walk 8 blocks and then said "nice meeting you"
> 
> Don't I have a right to be irritated that she gave me mixed signals? Or because I am a guy I should just laugh it off?


Because it wasn't mixed signals. She probably just assumed you were the gentleman you should be, and would be willing to walk a woman (any woman) 8 blocks in the dark. Because you're a man.


----------



## SMG15

Catherine602 said:


> You can't hide who you are. If you are chunky, dress well and walk proud. If a woman does not like it, that's on her. There are woman who like big men. I see chunky men with slim woman all the time. What do they have that you don't? Confidence.


The mistake I used to make was just saying how tall I was and not that I was a little on the heavy side. So when they met me they were expecting a tall and thin guy and was disappointed


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> The mistake I used to make was just saying how tall I was and not that I was a little on the heavy side. So when they met me they were expecting a tall and thin guy and was disappointed


So, do you think your photos on your dating profile accurately depict what you look like?


----------



## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> SMG, please don't take offense, but do you have some sort of diagnosed disorder such as Asperger's Syndrome?


I will admit when it comes to dating I am kind of retarded lol

Just can't figure this sh*t out. I don't have Asperger's because I am only socially awkward around woman I find attractive


----------



## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> Because it wasn't mixed signals. She probably just assumed you were the gentleman you should be, and would be willing to walk a woman (any woman) 8 blocks in the dark. Because you're a man.


FOR THE LAST TIME

It was not dark, we were on a lit up downtown busy street at 8:30pm in the evening. It's buses that run all up and down that street so it was no reason for her to ask me to walk


I don't know how I would be reacting if I had paid for dinner and she pulled some **** like this


----------



## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> So, do you think your photos on your dating profile accurately depict what you look like?


I believe so because the date on friday went well.


----------



## As'laDain

dude, did you seriously agree to do something for someone and then resented the person you did it for because you agreed to do it?!
i can only assume its because you expected something in return that you never communicated out loud. 

so, why not just state what you expect? 

honestly, there isnt a darned thing wrong with having expectations, but resenting someone for YOUR decisions is a completely useless endeavor. it will NOT get you what you want because it is based on the self delusion that other people know whats going through your head and that you know whats going through theirs. 

if you are clear with others, they will be clear with you. 

you gave mixed signals too. you walked her 8 blocks, as a gentleman would, and then sent her a nasty text. WTF??


----------



## SMG15

As'laDain said:


> dude, did you seriously agree to do something for someone and then resented the person you did it for because you agreed to do it?!
> i can only assume its because you expected something in return that you never communicated out loud.
> 
> so, why not just state what you expect?
> 
> honestly, there isnt a darned thing wrong with having expectations, but resenting someone for YOUR decisions is a completely useless endeavor. it will NOT get you what you want because it is based on the self delusion that other people know whats going through your head and that you know whats going through theirs.
> 
> if you are clear with others, they will be clear with you.
> 
> you gave mixed signals too. you walked her 8 blocks, as a gentleman would, and then sent her a nasty text. WTF??


I had never had a women ask me to walk her anywhere after a date which is why I thought she was making it clear that she was interested


----------



## Catherine602

SMG15 said:


> But why are people telling me I shouldn't be annoyed because she had me walk 8 blocks and then said "nice meeting you"
> 
> Don't I have a right to be irritated that she gave me mixed signals? Or because I am a guy I should just laugh it off?


Not everyone is saying what will help you. Sometimes people advise actions that are not adaptive out of the bitterness of their lives. You need to judge what to do. What will get you what you need? 

Hostile texts? Rigid responses? Anger? You get what you give. You must use your best self and treat your dates the way you want to treated. If you do that, the right woman will come along and stick with you.


----------



## spunkycat08

After reading the OP's post as well as his replies, I would not want to go out with him if I was single.


----------



## BlueWoman

SMG15 said:


> But why are people telling me I shouldn't be annoyed because she had me walk 8 blocks and then said "nice meeting you"
> 
> Don't I have a right to be irritated that she gave me mixed signals? Or because I am a guy I should just laugh it off?


Because she didn't give you any signals. That's the problem.

The only goal of a first date is to decide if you want a second date, and then try to get it. 

It's very likely she was still trying to decide if she still wanted a second date with you. And perhaps after the walk she decided you two were not compatible. And that's okay. That's what the date is for. 

Or perhaps she just wanted you to walk her to the train. The reality is you don't know what she was thinking, and you don't have enough information to make a good guess. 

Well know we all know what she is thinking. She is you are probably psychotic and she dodged a bullet. 

But before you sent that text...no way to know. The only way you've could have known if she was interested is if you had asked her out on a second date. And if she said no, that's still okay. 

You need to stop worrying about her signals (because you are totally misreading them) and consider what you have to offer a woman. 

I wouldn't go out on a second date with a man who thought it was a chore to walk me to the train. Or who felt entitled to long term romance just because he walked me to the train. 

I think the best thing I can offer (besides saying that you need intensive therapy)... is figure out what kind of woman you think would make you happy. Then figure out what kind of man would make that woman happy. And try to be that man. You meet a lot of people dating. Sometimes it's horrible, sometimes it's fun with out any connection, and sometimes you meet someone your not sure about and have to go on a second date to see if there's more there. Sometimes that second date leads to more. Sometimes it doesn't. 

The moment the first person says no...then it's done. That's how it works. 

You are not owed anything. You are not owed clear signals, a declaration of love, or sex. You are owed nothing. You also owe nothing. If someone treats you badly, you don't have to go out on a second date. 

Or how about this, maybe her signals were just to hard to read for you, and you don't want to go on a second date with her, because you know you will just be frustrated because you couldn't figure out what she meant. 

That doesn't mean she's an awful person or that she did anything wrong. It just means you need someone who is more direct in their communication. 

And also, I love large guys. Tall and wide? My favorite. They wonderful to snuggle with. And I'm pretty cute. And I was even hotter when I was your age. So your size is not the reason you are not having success.


----------



## BlueWoman

SMG15 said:


> I had never had a women ask me to walk her anywhere after a date which is why I thought she was making it clear that she was interested



The only thing you can assume from that is that she wanted you to walk with her somewhere. Any other assumption is completely unreasonable.


----------



## BlueWoman

Here's a fool proof way to know if a woman is interested: She says, "I would like to go out again." or she says "I'm she says I'm interested." Or she says "I hope you call me."


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> why the hell would a woman who is not interested in seeing a guy for a second date ask him to walk her to the train which is a 8 block walk only to say this when we part ways
> 
> "it was nice meeting you"
> 
> 
> I don't know much about dating but I am normal enough to know that particular statement didn't sound too good after a date. Which probably explains why she didn't text me to let me know she arrived home.
> 
> Why do some women do this stupid sh*T? Now I have to send her a inappropriate text for wasting my energy and time? All she had to say was "I have to go not can you walk with me to train.
> 
> I hate dating


She's not into you. And since you asked for honesty, I can understand why. You need to relax, man.

When I was dating, I met a guy with your attitude. I told him politely that I didn't think a 2nd date was in the cards for us and, wow, did he take it badly! I was so glad he didn't have any of my personal information.

I didn't ask him to walk me to my car, mind, and I was looking over my shoulder the whole time a bit worried he might stalk me. LOL.


----------



## sapientia

BlueWoman said:


> And also, I love large guys. Tall and wide? My favorite. They wonderful to snuggle with. And I'm pretty cute. And I was even hotter when I was your age. So your size is not the reason you are not having success.


This^. The guy in my last post was lean. My H is tall and was a bit overweight when I met him. That didn't deter me from his awesomeness in the slightest. It's your personality and attitude that is putting women off.


----------



## Roselyn

SMG15 said:


> It was dark but we were in the downtown section of a city at 8pm in the evening


You're a man. You should walk your date back to the train station, to safety, in the evening. If this was your first date, her statement of "it's nice meeting you" is appropriate. If you had a car, then she wouldn't have to ask you to walk her to the train station for the eight blocks.


----------



## SMG15

BlueWoman said:


> Because she didn't give you any signals. That's the problem.
> 
> The only goal of a first date is to decide if you want a second date, and then try to get it.
> 
> It's very likely she was still trying to decide if she still wanted a second date with you. And perhaps after the walk she decided you two were not compatible. And that's okay. That's what the date is for.
> 
> Or perhaps she just wanted you to walk her to the train. The reality is you don't know what she was thinking, and you don't have enough information to make a good guess.
> 
> Well know we all know what she is thinking. She is you are probably psychotic and she dodged a bullet.
> 
> But before you sent that text...no way to know. The only way you've could have known if she was interested is if you had asked her out on a second date. And if she said no, that's still okay.
> 
> You need to stop worrying about her signals (because you are totally misreading them) and consider what you have to offer a woman.
> 
> I wouldn't go out on a second date with a man who thought it was a chore to walk me to the train. Or who felt entitled to long term romance just because he walked me to the train.
> 
> I think the best thing I can offer (besides saying that you need intensive therapy)... is figure out what kind of woman you think would make you happy. Then figure out what kind of man would make that woman happy. And try to be that man. You meet a lot of people dating. Sometimes it's horrible, sometimes it's fun with out any connection, and sometimes you meet someone your not sure about and have to go on a second date to see if there's more there. Sometimes that second date leads to more. Sometimes it doesn't.
> 
> The moment the first person says no...then it's done. That's how it works.
> 
> You are not owed anything. You are not owed clear signals, a declaration of love, or sex. You are owed nothing. You also owe nothing. If someone treats you badly, you don't have to go out on a second date.
> 
> Or how about this, maybe her signals were just to hard to read for you, and you don't want to go on a second date with her, because you know you will just be frustrated because you couldn't figure out what she meant.
> 
> That doesn't mean she's an awful person or that she did anything wrong. It just means you need someone who is more direct in their communication.
> 
> And also, I love large guys. Tall and wide? My favorite. They wonderful to snuggle with. And I'm pretty cute. And I was even hotter when I was your age. So your size is not the reason you are not having success.


Does that go for men too or is that just for women?


----------



## SMG15

sapientia said:


> She's not into you. And since you asked for honesty, I can understand why. You need to relax, man.
> 
> When I was dating, I met a guy with your attitude. I told him politely that I didn't think a 2nd date was in the cards for us and, wow, did he take it badly! I was so glad he didn't have any of my personal information.
> 
> I didn't ask him to walk me to my car, mind, and I was looking over my shoulder the whole time a bit worried he might stalk me. LOL.


Did you tell him that after he paid the bill?


----------



## scatty

Chivalry IS dead ladies. This guy just killed it!

OP, you really need a relationship coach or something, because if this is how you treat women, you will have little success.
How long was your longest relationship?


----------



## tech-novelist

SMG15 said:


> why the hell would a woman who is not interested in seeing a guy for a second date ask him to walk her to the train which is a 8 block walk only to say this when we part ways
> 
> "it was nice meeting you"
> 
> 
> I don't know much about dating but I am normal enough to know that particular statement didn't sound too good after a date. Which probably explains why she didn't text me to let me know she arrived home.
> 
> Why do some women do this stupid sh*T? Now I have to send her a inappropriate text for wasting my energy and time? All she had to say was "I have to go not can you walk with me to train.
> 
> I hate dating


Why? Because *some* women consider men as appliances.
Now before the hating starts, please notice the word *some* in the sentence above. I could just as easily say that *some* men consider women good only for sex, and it would be equally true.


----------



## SMG15

technovelist said:


> Why? Because *some* women consider men as appliances.
> Now before the hating starts, please notice the word *some* in the sentence above. I could just as easily say that *some* men consider women good only for sex, and it would be equally true.



No because it's a HIT or MISS and costing me money at the same time


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> Did you tell him that after he paid the bill?


I always paid for my own coffee, lunches, etc when dating. Besides, I make more than most of the men I dated.


----------



## SMG15

sapientia said:


> I always paid for my own coffee, lunches, etc when dating. Besides, I make more than most of the men I dated.


All women seem to in 2015 which is why I am about to have someone take care of me like all my friends.


----------



## soccermom2three

I guess I don't understand. What's wrong with saying, "It was nice meeting you" Is that code for something? I haven't dated for over 32 years, lol.


----------



## SMG15

soccermom2three said:


> I guess I don't understand. What's wrong with saying, "It was nice meeting you" Is that code for something? I haven't dated for over 32 years, lol.


It was nice meeting you sounds like you won't ever see the person again.


It was a PLEASURE meeting you sounds like interest


----------



## sapientia

If you want practice on how to attract a quality woman, you should start by apologizing to me for your sexist and very inaccurate insult.

You assumed I let the men pay my bill when I was dating, which I never did. My husband actually offered to take me to a very expensive restaurant on our first date. I declined and took *him* to a much more modest, ethnic restaurant which we both have very fond memories of now. A few months into dating he offered to take me on a very costly trip to Europe. Again, I declined. We went there on our honeymoon instead. 

I wish you luck in your search. However, quality demands quality, so you need to let go of your assumptions and step up the self-respect. If you date women who expect you to pay, perhaps you should seek a different standard.


----------



## BlueWoman

SMG15 said:


> Does that go for men too or is that just for women?


Both. It goes for men and women.


----------



## BlueWoman

technovelist said:


> Why? Because *some* women consider men as appliances.
> Now before the hating starts, please notice the word *some* in the sentence above. I could just as easily say that *some* men consider women good only for sex, and it would be equally true.


I'm going to get on you because your comment isn't relevant. There is nothing in that interaction to suggest she's treating him like an appliance.


----------



## tech-novelist

SecondTime'Round said:


> Because it wasn't mixed signals. She probably just assumed you were the gentleman you should be, and would be willing to walk a woman (any woman) 8 blocks in the dark. Because you're a man.


Here's an example of considering a man as an appliance.
Thanks!


----------



## SMG15

sapientia said:


> If you want practice on how to attract a quality woman, you should start by apologizing to me for your sexist and very inaccurate insult.
> 
> You assumed I let the men pay my bill when I was dating, which I never did. My husband actually offered to take me to a very expensive restaurant on our first date. I declined and took *him* to a much more modest, ethnic restaurant which we both have very fond memories of now. A few months into dating he offered to take me on a very costly trip to Europe. Again, I declined. We went there on our honeymoon instead.
> 
> I wish you luck in your search. However, quality demands quality, so you need to let go of your assumptions and step up the self-respect. If you date women who expect you to pay, perhaps you should seek a different standard.


Ok I apologize. I just been having a rough summer in regards to dating


----------



## tech-novelist

BlueWoman said:


> I'm going to get on you because your comment isn't relevant. There is nothing in that interaction to suggest she's treating him like an appliance.


It is relevant because it is such a common behavior, not an outlier. Just as it is a common behavior of men to treat women as though they were only good for sex. So if a man acts in a way suggesting that, everyone here is quick to consider that as a possibility, as they should be.

The same is true here.


----------



## BlueWoman

SMG15 said:


> No because it's a HIT or MISS and costing me money at the same time


Alright, I'm going to break it down for you... You want to date, you better have the cash. 

And believe me women are spending money on the date as well. 

Men on the whole, are visual. If a man isn't physically attracted to me, he's not likely to spend much time getting to know me as a possible mate? Does that make them shallow? I don't know. I think it just is. So when I go on a date, I spend a freaking fortune to look attractive. You have no idea how much women spend of how we look. It ain't cheap being a woman. And that's even before we are talking about sex. You add that into the picture you have a whole different set of costs to be physically appealing. 

Women, on the whole, are looking for providers? So we pay attention to how you are about money. Are you wise but generous, can you take care of me financially when we have children, what kind of home will we live in. Does that make us shallow? I don't know. I think it just is. 

So if spending some money on a date rubs you the wrong way, you are not ready to be dating.


----------



## SMG15

BlueWoman said:


> Alright, I'm going to break it down for you... You want to date, you better have the cash.
> 
> And believe me women are spending money on the date as well.
> 
> Men on the whole, are visual. If a man isn't physically attracted to me, he's not likely to spend much time getting to know me as a possible mate? Does that make them shallow? I don't know. I think it just is. So when I go on a date, I spend a freaking fortune to look attractive. You have no idea how much women spend of how we look. It ain't cheap being a woman. And that's even before we are talking about sex. You add that into the picture you have a whole different set of costs to be physically appealing.
> 
> Women, on the whole, are looking for providers? So we pay attention to how you are about money. Are you wise but generous, can you take care of me financially when we have children, what kind of home will we live in. Does that make us shallow? I don't know. I think it just is.
> 
> So if spending some money on a date rubs you the wrong way, you are not ready to be dating.


No one should be on the first meet and greet after meeting from a online dating service

Now if there is a 2nd meeting which is the actual first date then spending money is not a problem


----------



## thread the needle

You would benefit from anger management, empathy and social graces. 

The assumptions you have made, your reaction to proven socially acceptable manners, decency and norms, and your expectations of others are utterly absurd. 

Based on the very sad approaches and perspectives in this thread I would recommend to all women to steer completely clear of you until you get a handle on your anger, the golden rule and some basic manners and the ability to fairly consider sincere points of view different than your own. 

You are clearly outside the mainstream of acceptable behavior and cultural norms and appear stubborn and disagreeable with an obvious victim mentality.


----------



## Holland

SMG15 said:


> Listen we were in a busy lit up section of a big city at 8pm so I don't want to hear anything about her wanting to be safe
> 
> We were in a very low crime area which was very busy. The Times Square section of Philadelphia


Stopped reading here. You are not a prize catch, I hope you step out of the dating pool soon and give everyone a break.


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> Ok I apologize. I just been having a rough summer in regards to dating


Are you using one of the paid dating sites which pre-screen selections for you? That's how I dated and I found the triage process very helpful.

Asking a woman for coffee isn't costly. If she is generous and offers to buy you the 2nd round, then you have an indication she might not be one of the entitled sort. Worst case is you have sprung ~$10 on coffee which is trivial when you consider alternatives.

Good luck and don't get discouraged. My H and I weren't really looking when we found each other. Lightning strikes if you put yourself out there enough. Treat dating like networking.


----------



## BlueWoman

SMG15 said:


> No one should be on the first meet and greet after meeting from a online dating service
> 
> Now if there is a 2nd meeting which is the actual first date then spending money is not a problem


You wouldn't get a second date with me or a woman of my caliber.

I always offer to go dutch at the first meeting. But I'm never impressed by a guy who let's me. 

As a rule of thumb, I usually find a way to cover the complete cost of the third date. Sometimes it's the fourth date, just depending. I might cook him dinner, or I might take him out, letting him know it's my treat. But a guy would be hard pressed to get to a third date with me, if he didn't pay for the first two. 

As we get farther into dating, the spending tends to even out based on what each person can afford. And I love free dates. For the fourth of July my BF took me to a park. We sat on a blanket watched fire works. It didn't cost either of us a thing, but it was lovely night.


----------



## BlueWoman

technovelist said:


> It is relevant because it is such a common behavior, not an outlier. Just as it is a common behavior of men to treat women as though they were only good for sex. So if a man acts in a way suggesting that, everyone here is quick to consider that as a possibility, as they should be.
> 
> The same is true here.


I totally disagree. I think they are outliers. I know way too many men who treat women with respect and dignity to buy that. (Are many of them hoping to get me into bed, maybe, but they don't act on it, because they are not @$$holes. ) 

The jerks are outliers. For both genders. 

And this woman wasn't a jerk.


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> No one should be on the first meet and greet after meeting from a online dating service
> 
> Now if there is a 2nd meeting which is the actual first date then spending money is not a problem


I actually agree with you on this. I like to think of myself as a quality catch (professional, business owner, teaches at a university), so don't worry too much about women who say "you'd better be ready to drop cash" on a first date. If that is their only criteria, then you are best to find out early and look elsewhere.

In my case, I was looking for an interesting person. I usually arrived a bit early and bought my own coffee before he arrived. I then offered to get him one and most would decline and get their own. I like to observe a person when they enter a space and see how they react to a woman offering to buy *him* a coffee. 

My H beat me to this, btw. He arrived even earlier than I did and swooped like a hawk when I entered the room. LOL.

I do agree that your manners could use some polishing. How old are you? May I ask your ethnicity?


----------



## Cynthia

It could be that after walking 8 blocks with you, she realized that you could not have not cared less about her and she didn't think it mattered if she texted you when she arrived home. She may also have felt that you wasted her time as much as you feel she wasted your time.
People are not time wasters simply because they don't give us something. People are valuable and when we don't recognize this, it is hard to have a healthy relationship with anyone. The comments you make show that you do not value her unless she has something to offer you, otherwise she's just wasting your time. That's using people, which you stated you don't like people to do to you, but apparently it's okay if you do that to others. This is hypocritical.
You sent her a text you deemed to be inappropriate, which means you violated your own standards of what is appropriate. It appears that you have a different set of standards for how you expect to be treated than you do for how you treat others.
And you wonder why you aren't having success dating. You are never going to get a quality woman with this attitude. People with the attitude you have displayed are not quality dates and would make terrible, possibly even scary partners.
Here's another thought: Maybe she was interested in you, but wanted to see if your chunky self could make it 8 blocks. She could have been gauging your physical fitness to see if you met her standards and your labored breath answered her question, so she decided you failed the fitness test.


----------



## BlueWoman

sapientia said:


> I actually agree with you on this. I like to think of myself as a quality catch (professional, business owner, teaches at a university), so don't worry too much about women who say "you'd better be ready to drop cash" on a first date. If that is their only criteria, then you are best to find out early and look elsewhere.


I think first dates where it's just a meet and greet should really only be a quick coffee. So it shouldn't break the bank to buy a woman a coffee.


----------



## sapientia

BlueWoman said:


> I think first dates where it's just a meet and greet should really only be a quick coffee. So it shouldn't break the bank to buy a woman a coffee.


I guess I'm not clear on why it should be the man buying the woman an inexpensive coffee. Surely your argument goes both ways? Unless you are selecting for a more traditional man/provider, in which case your technique makes sense.

Honestly, most of the men I dated offered to buy me dinner on that first date, as I tended to meet for afternoon coffees. In my case, I was dating when I knew I had no intent on having a serious relationship (its in my divorce thread--my sister coerced me to start dating) so I didn't want to feel beholden to them in any way. I met dozens of nice men, but none of my many 1st dates ever made it to #2 -- except for my husband. My situation may be atypical.


----------



## SMG15

Holland said:


> Stopped reading here. You are not a prize catch, I hope you step out of the dating pool soon and give everyone a break.


Pour a gallon of juice on your keyboard


----------



## BlueWoman

sapientia said:


> I guess I'm not clear on why it should be the man buying the woman an inexpensive coffee. Surely your argument goes both ways? Unless you are selecting for a more traditional man/provider, in which case your technique makes sense.
> 
> Honestly, most of the men I dated offered to buy me dinner on that first date, as I tended to meet for afternoon coffees. In my case, I was dating when I knew I had no intent on having a serious relationship (its in my divorce thread--my sister coerced me to start dating) so I didn't want to feel beholden to them in any way. I met dozens of nice men, but none of my many 1st dates ever made it to #2 -- except for my husband. My situation may be atypical.


I do think you're situation is atypical. 

But I don't think there is anything wrong with your approach. You sound like a strong personality, and your approach will weed the men out that can't handle that. For you that's wise. 

But most women do go for the traditional approach. Typically men do make more money than women. Most of the men, I meet do make more money than me, even though I'm better educated. 
And if you're looking to have a family, you want to find someone who is capable of financially supporting your kids. How a man treats me on the first date lets me know if I want to go on a second date.

On the other hand, I rarely pay much attention to physical appearance, unless it's over the top. 

Other things influence my decision to go on a second date, e.g.
Is he intelligent? Can we talk about current events? 
Is he funny? Does he make me laugh?
Is he kind? How does he treat the wait staff? How does he treat me?

I am judging all of those things on a first date. And you know what? He's judging me on his own set of criteria. So I need to bring my A game as well. But we both have to want the second date for it to happen.


----------



## Holland

SMG15 said:


> Pour a gallon of juice on your keyboard


I don't drink juice.

You asked for complete honesty from women, you got it.


----------



## TeaLeaves4

SMG15 said:


> When I asked women in the past to walk them to the train they said NO because they wasn't interested
> 
> So I don't like that mixed signal **** by asking me to walk with her. Usually it's me who has to ask so you can see why I was confused that she wasn't interested


Oh my God, grow up , ok? If you were a little more sincere I'd be nice, but honestly, you sound like a jerk. Get some counseling and leArn to evaluate yourself honestly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SMG15

sapientia said:


> I guess I'm not clear on why it should be the man buying the woman an inexpensive coffee. Surely your argument goes both ways? Unless you are selecting for a more traditional man/provider, in which case your technique makes sense.
> 
> Honestly, most of the men I dated offered to buy me dinner on that first date, as I tended to meet for afternoon coffees. In my case, I was dating when I knew I had no intent on having a serious relationship (its in my divorce thread--my sister coerced me to start dating) so I didn't want to feel beholden to them in any way. I met dozens of nice men, but none of my many 1st dates ever made it to #2 -- except for my husband. My situation may be atypical.


And why did some of your first dates not to the second?


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> And why did some of your first dates not to the second?


I wasn't really interested in dating.


----------



## SMG15

CynthiaDe said:


> It could be that after walking 8 blocks with you, she realized that you could not have not cared less about her and she didn't think it mattered if she texted you when she arrived home. She may also have felt that you wasted her time as much as you feel she wasted your time.
> People are not time wasters simply because they don't give us something. People are valuable and when we don't recognize this, it is hard to have a healthy relationship with anyone. The comments you make show that you do not value her unless she has something to offer you, otherwise she's just wasting your time. That's using people, which you stated you don't like people to do to you, but apparently it's okay if you do that to others. This is hypocritical.
> You sent her a text you deemed to be inappropriate, which means you violated your own standards of what is appropriate. It appears that you have a different set of standards for how you expect to be treated than you do for how you treat others.
> And you wonder why you aren't having success dating. You are never going to get a quality woman with this attitude. People with the attitude you have displayed are not quality dates and would make terrible, possibly even scary partners.
> Here's another thought: Maybe she was interested in you, but wanted to see if your chunky self could make it 8 blocks. She could have been gauging your physical fitness to see if you met her standards and your labored breath answered her question, so she decided you failed the fitness test.



I'm just sick of dating. SO much sh*T i have to remember like I am taking a test for a state job

Dating should not be this difficult

I thought as long as a man was handsome, nice, and had a penis then everything was all good. Well that how it was when I was 22


----------



## As'laDain

It would be hard for me to let a woman pay for our date. Hell, even when I go out with friends, I like to pay. 

If I could not pay for the enjoyable night I plan on having with new lady, I would rather not go. 


I mean, as much as dating is for the both of us, it would be hard for me to think of it as a date if I did not pay for it. Afterall, my goal is either to see the woman at her greatest or to show her what I look like at my greatest. So, I'll either bring her to something that I know I will enjoy, or to something that I know she will enjoy. 

Either way, it's something I want to experience, so I will provide the money to make it happen. 


The way I see it, you should look at your goals before you start dating. Do you want to support someone, or be supported by someone? If you want to be supported, then you shouldnt pay for anything. If you want to support someone, then you should pay for them. 

If you want a 50 50 split, then only pay your half. 

Funny enough, I wanted to support my wife. While we were dating, I paid off her car. In the first year, I paid off her 15 grand of debt, while I was a private. Then I encouraged her to go for her dreams, made a few sacrifices, and now she makes more money than I do as a staff sergeant in the army with various special pays and 8 years time in service! 

That's the whole point of dating. Find someone that meets your criteria for marriage. I wanted someone who would step out on a limb with me, and who would be open to new ways of thinking about life. I got exactly that.
If they don't meet your criteria, MOVE ON! Why on earth would you spend time getting p!ssy with someone just because they aren't exactly what you are looking for?! You might as well get mad at yourself for wanting to be with a woman in the first place.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## sapientia

So take a break from it then. You aren't presenting your best self with all this negativity anyway.


----------



## TeaLeaves4

SMG15 said:


> I'm just sick of dating. SO much sh*T i have to remember like I am taking a test for a state job
> 
> Dating should not be this difficult
> 
> I thought as long as a man was handsome, nice, and had a penis then everything was all good. Well that how it was when I was 22


You would do well to remember that having a penis, and/or paying for dinner, really doesn't ENTITLE you to anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SMG15

As'laDain said:


> It would be hard for me to let a woman pay for our date. Hell, even when I go out with friends, I like to pay.
> 
> If I could not pay for the enjoyable night I plan on having with new lady, I would rather not go.
> 
> 
> I mean, as much as dating is for the both of us, it would be hard for me to think of it as a date if I did not pay for it. Afterall, my goal is either to see the woman at her greatest or to show her what I look like at my greatest. So, I'll either bring her to something that I know I will enjoy, or to something that I know she will enjoy.
> 
> Either way, it's something I want to experience, so I will provide the money to make it happen.
> 
> 
> The way I see it, you should look at your goals before you start dating. Do you want to support someone, or be supported by someone? If you want to be supported, then you shouldnt pay for anything. If you want to support someone, then you should pay for them.
> 
> If you want a 50 50 split, then only pay your half.
> 
> Funny enough, I wanted to support my wife. While we were dating, I paid off her car. In the first year, I paid off her 15 grand of debt, while I was a private. Then I encouraged her to go for her dreams, made a few sacrifices, and now she makes more money than I do as a staff sergeant in the army with various special pays and 8 years time in service!
> 
> That's the whole point of dating. Find someone that meets your criteria for marriage. I wanted someone who would step out on a limb with me, and who would be open to new ways of thinking about life. I got exactly that.
> If they don't meet your criteria, MOVE ON! Why on earth would you spend time getting p!ssy with someone just because they aren't exactly what you are looking for?! You might as well get mad at yourself for wanting to be with a woman in the first place.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


who the hell is thinking about marriage? I want to be in a relationship first


----------



## Holland

TeaLeaves4 said:


> You would do well to remember that having a penis, and/or paying for dinner, really doesn't ENTITLE you to anything.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And being handsome is a dime a dozen, heaps of very good looking men out there. A quality woman can get plenty of decent men and she won't suffer fools/jerks/misogynists etc lightly.


----------



## Cynthia

SMG15 said:


> I'm just sick of dating. SO much sh*T i have to remember like I am taking a test for a state job
> 
> Dating should not be this difficult


Then quit dating and work on yourself.
You are right, dating should not be this difficult. You are making it difficult, because you have unrealistic expectations. If you are going out to get to enjoy someone and get to know her, it will be a lot more fun.



SMG15 said:


> I thought as long as a man was handsome, nice, and had a penis then everything was all good. Well that how it was when I was 22


You aren't "nice." By what you have posted here, you have shown yourself to be an unkind, rude, and inconsiderate person. Women in their 30's are more mature and better equipped to spot that in a man than they are in their 20's.


----------



## sapientia

Dating Etiquette

Online Dating Etiquette: Five Tips No One Will Tell You*|*Laura Zam


----------



## SMG15

TeaLeaves4 said:


> You would do well to remember that having a penis, and/or paying for dinner, really doesn't ENTITLE you to anything.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well lots of women think having a vagina makes them marriage material and forget that they are the only who has one.


----------



## SMG15

sapientia said:


> Dating Etiquette
> 
> Online Dating Etiquette: Five Tips No One Will Tell You*|*Laura Zam


Five hour date and she didn't return his calls?

This is why the fetish lifestyle is so popular these days


----------



## Wolf1974

Sir you can't date angry. It wears on you like a cheap suit and no one will want yo be around that. Dating can get difficult. I've been there myself. Take a break for a month or so then come back to it. No expectations and small first meets. Don't invest more than you're willing to loose.


----------



## sapientia

Holland said:


> And being handsome is a dime a dozen, heaps of very good looking men out there. A quality woman can get plenty of decent men and she won't suffer fools/jerks/misogynists etc lightly.


Reminds me of the college instructor I met. He was very good looking. A former senior mechanic for one of the big auto companies who went on to become a college instructor. Sat down and before long started complaining about the "uptight, librarian types" he had been dating. Rather full of himself.

I'm considered quite attractive, but I deliberately wore glasses on my dates (designer versace w/diamonds, mind). I like men who are observant and see beyond the superficial. The fellow was taken aback when he finally shut up and I told him about my recent adventures in Colombia, my business, and then I dropped the bomb about my work at a local university. I finished my tea and left. He reached out to me again but I never contacted him back.


----------



## thread the needle

Some people you just cant reach.


----------



## SMG15

Wolf1974 said:


> Sir you can't date angry. It wears on you like a cheap suit and no one will want yo be around that. Dating can get difficult. I've been there myself. Take a break for a month or so then come back to it. No expectations and small first meets. Don't invest more than you're willing to loose.


Yeah you right because I feel like I am about to SNAP. lol

BTW: I did take a break, thursday was my first date since mid may.


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> Well lots of women think having a vagina makes them marriage material and forget that they are the only who has one.


And your goal should be to triage these as quickly as possible. There is someone for everyone. Dating is a volume problem, solved by speed of execution.

But yes, do take a break. I doubt you are really an a$$, just frustrated. It happens to everyone.



> BTW: I did take a break, thursday was my first date since mid may.


Then relax on your expectations and laugh a little about it!


----------



## BlueWoman

SMG15 said:


> I'm just sick of dating. SO much sh*T i have to remember like I am taking a test for a state job
> 
> Dating should not be this difficult
> 
> I thought as long as a man was handsome, nice, and had a penis then everything was all good. Well that how it was when I was 22



Yeah, you're older now. You've got to up your game. When I was in my early 20's I had no interest in getting married, so what I was looking for was different. But assuming you are dating women around your age, they are looking for someone to have a long term commitment with, and who they can have children with. 

You have to decide if you want that. And if you do, then your going to have make your self attractive to those women. 

Also don't burn bridges. You never know. Maybe she wasn't into you, but then you asked her if she was feeling better. So then you are a nice and considerate guy. So maybe if you had asked her out she would have said yes. Or maybe she would have said no, but then in a week, thought about it and decided she should have gone out with you. It's not likely, but it can happen. Women have been known to change their minds. 

But I'm pretty sure she is not going to change her mind now. 


Well if it makes you feel any better, you are not the only one who thinks dating is stressful.

But really it's simple. You have two goals: 1) Decide if you want to have a second date. 2) if you want that second date, you have to convince her that's she wants a second date. 

You can't take it personally if she's not interested, and she has the right to change her mind at any point. But that can work against your or for you. 

She could decide she's not interested and then you impress her and she changes her mind. Or she could be interested and then realizes that you guys have different taste. 

And that goes for you. You get to change your mind. You could initially like her, and then find her really boring. Or perhaps initially you don't think she's hot enough, but as you hang out with her, you realize the way she moves is super sexy. 

Any of those things can happen if you don't burn bridges. 

Oh another option that can happen, you go on a date, and she realizes that you are really fun and nice but you guys have no shared interests. But she happens to have a friend that she thinks would like you. 


That's the thing, there are so many possibilities, if you are not a d!ck. And sometimes those possibilities take a while to reveal themselves. 

Take the high road. You will never regret it.


----------



## BlueWoman

sapientia said:


> Dating Etiquette
> 
> Online Dating Etiquette: Five Tips No One Will Tell You*|*Laura Zam


That's brilliant.


----------



## BlueWoman

SMG15 said:


> who the hell is thinking about marriage? I want to be in a relationship first


You might not be, and that's okay. But it's likely if you are dating women your age, they are. 

That doesn't mean that they don't want relationships first. But it does mean that if they realize they wouldn't marry you in the future, they are going to cut you loose. 


And you want that because it saves you both time.


----------



## SMG15

BlueWoman said:


> Yeah, you're older now. You've got to up your game. When I was in my early 20's I had no interest in getting married, so what I was looking for was different. But assuming you are dating women around your age, they are looking for someone to have a long term commitment with, and who they can have children with.
> 
> You have to decide if you want that. And if you do, then your going to have make your self attractive to those women.
> 
> Also don't burn bridges. You never know. Maybe she wasn't into you, but then you asked her if she was feeling better. So then you are a nice and considerate guy. So maybe if you had asked her out she would have said yes. Or maybe she would have said no, but then in a week, thought about it and decided she should have gone out with you. It's not likely, but it can happen. Women have been known to change their minds.
> 
> But I'm pretty sure she is not going to change her mind now.
> 
> 
> Well if it makes you feel any better, you are not the only one who thinks dating is stressful.
> 
> But really it's simple. You have two goals: 1) Decide if you want to have a second date. 2) if you want that second date, you have to convince her that's she wants a second date.
> 
> You can't take it personally if she's not interested, and she has the right to change her mind at any point. But that can work against your or for you.
> 
> She could decide she's not interested and then you impress her and she changes her mind. Or she could be interested and then realizes that you guys have different taste.
> 
> And that goes for you. You get to change your mind. You could initially like her, and then find her really boring. Or perhaps initially you don't think she's hot enough, but as you hang out with her, you realize the way she moves is super sexy.
> 
> Any of those things can happen if you don't burn bridges.
> 
> Oh another option that can happen, you go on a date, and she realizes that you are really fun and nice but you guys have no shared interests. But she happens to have a friend that she thinks would like you.
> 
> 
> That's the thing, there are so many possibilities, if you are not a d!ck. And sometimes those possibilities take a while to reveal themselves.
> 
> Take the high road. You will never regret it.



It doesn't matter now because I met someone else on friday and have another date on wednesday

It mattered a little on friday morning but I am over it now


----------



## BlueWoman

SMG15 said:


> It doesn't matter now because I met someone else on friday and have another date on wednesday
> 
> It mattered a little on friday morning but I am over it now


That's good news. But it always matters how you treat people. Until you are actually in a relationship, everybody is a potential.


----------



## poida

Wolf1974 said:


> Sir you can't date angry. It wears on you like a cheap suit and no one will want yo be around that. Dating can get difficult. I've been there myself. Take a break for a month or so then come back to it. No expectations and small first meets. Don't invest more than you're willing to loose.


Couldn't help but comment SMG but these are words of wisdom. Read and learn.

You seem fairly, well, desperate for a relationship. 
Are you OK just being YOU?
Are you confident and independent?

I wasn't and it turns women off like nothing else.
Take some time to find yourself.
Go backpack around Europe and find yourself.


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> It doesn't matter now because I met someone else on friday and have another date on wednesday
> 
> It mattered a little on friday morning but I am over it now


Good luck! Keep it light.


----------



## EleGirl

SMG15 said:


> It was dark but we were in the downtown section of a city at 8pm in the evening


What city? That can make a difference.


----------



## SMG15

poida said:


> Couldn't help but comment SMG but these are words of wisdom. Read and learn.
> 
> You seem fairly, well, desperate for a relationship.
> Are you OK just being YOU?
> Are you confident and independent?
> 
> I wasn't and it turns women off like nothing else.
> Take some time to find yourself.
> Go backpack around Europe and find yourself.


Well I would like to be dating someone soon I;m not 24 anymore. Plus the fall will be here before you know it and I don't want to spend the winter alone in my drawls lol


----------



## SMG15

EleGirl said:


> What city? That can make a difference.


Downtown Philadelpghia where it was tons of cars and people walking the street at 8:30pm


----------



## poida

SMG15 said:


> Well I would like to be dating someone soon I;m not 24 anymore. Plus the fall will be here before you know it and I don't want to spend the winter alone in my drawls lol


Well OK.... your call.

I'm just sayin'.

Honestly, until you stop "LOOKING" you aren't going to find anyone.

Ask anyone who is married.


----------



## poida

And get over your age.

I'm so sick of 20-somethings complaining about being "old".


----------



## SMG15

poida said:


> And get over your age.
> 
> I'm so sick of 20-somethings complaining about being "old".



I'm mid 30's


----------



## SimplyAmorous

Ms. GP said:


> The fear of rape, death, and dismemberment by walking 8 blocks by myself after dark might make me ask someone to walk with me. But hey, that's just me!! Mabye she forgot to text you. She might be interested after all. Lighten up man!


If she said she would text and didn't -blow her off.. I am one who knows better than to expect people to DO what they actually say.. Ha ha ha.. BUT on the other hand .. I wouldn't want a relationship with one who can't...... I wouldn't tell you to lighten up.. just that's it's pretty obvious...given her response to you.. then not calling.. she's not interested.. I wouldn't tell a guy I was going to call if I didn't plan on doing just that., and if I was late in calling.. I would apologize for it also. 

I just have little use for those who speak out of 2 sides of their mouth.. be straight with me.. Dating has to be like quagmire sorting through all the mixed messages and games people play.. 

Sounds you have another date planned already... 

Just remember this..


----------



## tech-novelist

SecondTime'Round said:


> Because it wasn't mixed signals. She probably just assumed you were the gentleman you should be, and would be willing to walk a woman (any woman) 8 blocks in the dark. Because you're a man.


Ok, on second thought this is very helpful. What other obligations do all men have to all women?


----------



## SecondTime'Round

technovelist said:


> Ok, on second thought this is very helpful. What other obligations do all men have to all women?


None that I can think of off the top of my head. Just to be a gentleman, be chivalrous. This is a requirement for me at least. Not everyone will agree. You clearly don't. I don't need a man to open my car doors and pull out my chair, but if I were walking 8 blocks in the dark, I'd like my date to offer to walk with me.


----------



## tech-novelist

SecondTime'Round said:


> None that I can think of off the top of my head. Just to be a gentleman, be chivalrous. This is a requirement for me at least. Not everyone will agree. You clearly don't. I don't need a man to open my car doors and pull out my chair, but if I were walking 8 blocks in the dark, I'd like my date to offer to walk with me.


Ok, and what are the obligations that all women owe to all men?


----------



## Cooper

SMG15 said:


> I had never had a women ask me to walk her anywhere after a date which is why I thought she was making it clear that she was interested


Maybe she was interested, is it possible you did or said something during that 8 block walk that turned her off?


----------



## SecondTime'Round

technovelist said:


> Ok, and what are the obligations that all women owe to all men?


Good question. I'd say support/respect (i.e. with regard to their hopes/dreams/aspirations).


----------



## thread the needle

There is no indication in this thread anywhere from you OP that indicates you have learned anything, humbled yourself in any manner or that you have progressed past the point where you can consider another point of view different than your own. 

It's all arguing your original point, disagreement and one way thinking as you are uninterested and incapable of recognizing you are in a very small minority position and your dates perspective is far from odd, out of bounds, inconsiderate or even remotely bad in any way.

There is also no appreciation for the answers given by those that owe you nothing but respect. These people are then disrespected by you in several cases as you say snarky things when you continue to disagree like pour juice on your keyboard. 

Your behavior clearly indicates that you will sabotage any relationship at the first disagreement likely based on your dates inability to read your mind. 

If you want a successful relationship then you need to learn how to listen and consider other points of view, be patient with others and offer and appreciate the give and take of a kinship with your fellow man instead of getting all bent out of shape at the first indication of disagreement.

I also don't give a hoot if it was daylight or how many people were around. If a woman that you just dated asks you to walk her. You walk her. The reason is irrelevant.

@technovelest - Start a thread on chivalry, appliances, gender obligations? threadjack?

I think men owe women restraint and the rape laws in most of the world indicate societal consensus. I believe men that just date a women owe her a sincere offer to assist her in safety getting where she is going whether the man wants to or not or whether he agrees if she is in danger or not. I am rather stunned this is even up for debate. I don't think it would be of there wasn't anger at the entire female genders common acceptable behaviors by some posters


----------



## SecondTime'Round

thread the needle said:


> It's all arguing your original point, disagreement and one way thinking as you are uninterested and incapable of recognizing you are in a very small minority position and your dates perspective is far from odd, out of bounds, inconsiderate or even remotely bad in any way.
> 
> There is also no appreciation for the answers given by those that owe you nothing but respect. These people are then disrespected by you in several cases as you say snarky things when you continue to disagree like pour juice on your keyboard.
> 
> Your behavior clearly indicates that you will sabotage any relationship at the first disagreement likely based on your dates inability to read your mind.


You asked for ONLY women to respond, and for us to do so with honesty. And we did. Yet the only responses you reacted to positively were from the two men who seemed to agree with your misogynistic way of thinking. So, you really did not want the opinion of women. You seem to have a deep-seeded underlying contempt and disrespect for women. Where did that come from?


----------



## thread the needle

SecondTime'Round said:


> You seem to have a deep-seeded underlying contempt and disrespect for women


:iagree:

Also OP, if you and your schedule are set so tight and inflexible that you do not have time to end your dates with basic manners, decency and success and the balance of your day is unable to be lived with satisfaction as you indicated you were unable to figure out how to eat at the place you preferred while honoring your dates request to walk her, and then blamed her instead of yourself for that outcome, then you have uncovered another area of your basic competence as an adult that you ought to work on.

That is rather pathetic also don't you think?

One thing that may help you improve your behavior to a point that you are much happier, less angry, snarky an self-centered and more successful all the way around is to consider how you would want another man to react to your mother, sister, aunt, female friend, niece, and other females I certainly hope you care about, when they are asking for things from you that you find bothersome and then mimic how admirable men you envision might treat these women you care about rather well an much to these important women's liking generating a fondness for these males in their lives even momentarily.

If you find yourself insisting the women in your life that you care about ought to be treated shabbily by men when they have a different perspective than the man, then no amount of counsel from men or women will help you find a satisfying relationship. 

Are there men in your life that you respect you could talk to about your approach with women that are successful with women? 

Are you proud of your behavior dissing women when they "victimize" you asking for your assistance, favor or time?

Do you realize all relationships have a WIFM "what's in it for me" component? Every friendship has a give and take. 100% agreement is never achievable even for the very closest relationships. How are your friendships with men and women and are they successful with dating? What do they have to say to you about your failing approach? Why did you not date until you were 23 years old? What were you doing in your teens until you were 23 with your free and social time?


----------



## Satya

OP, you're in a pretty angsty phase which is beyond obvious. Women will immediately detect this and find it about as cloying and pervasive as being stuck in a telephone booth after you farted and locked them inside.


----------



## SARAHMCD

Reading this just makes me terrified to start online dating again. I thought it was about having fun and meeting some new people - and possibly, just possibly, meeting a potential partner. 

To know that there are men like this that are so hostile and negative to which I may end up on the receiving end of angry texts or attitudes. Just because I may not say the exact right thing he thought I should....yikes!!


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SARAHMCD said:


> Reading this just makes me terrified to start online dating again. I thought it was about having fun and meeting some new people - and possibly, just possibly, meeting a potential partner.
> 
> To know that there are men like this that are so hostile and negative to which I may end up on the receiving end of angry texts or attitudes. Just because I may not say the exact right thing he thought I should....yikes!!


Me too, but I did learn one thing from this thread when I asked him what his reaction would be if she had simply told him she wasn't interested in him while they were on the date, and he said he "would have respect her more." Not sure how he actually would have TREATED her, but I guess men prefer women to just be upfront (quickly!) about their feelings/attraction. Good to know.


----------



## lucy999

SMG15 said:


> why the hell would a woman who is not interested in seeing a guy for a second date ask him to walk her to the train which is a 8 block walk only to say this when we part ways
> 
> "it was nice meeting you"
> 
> 
> I don't know much about dating but I am normal enough to know that particular statement didn't sound too good after a date. Which probably explains why she didn't text me to let me know she arrived home.
> 
> Why do some women do this stupid sh*T? Now I have to send her a inappropriate text for wasting my energy and time? All she had to say was "I have to go not can you walk with me to train.
> 
> I hate dating


Because of safety reasons. Interested or not, I would want the man I met to be a gentleman and walk me to my train that is 8 blocks away.


----------



## SARAHMCD

SecondTime'Round said:


> Me too, but I did learn one thing from this thread when I asked him what his reaction would be if she had simply told him she wasn't interested in him while they were on the date, and he said he "would have respect her more." Not sure how he actually would have TREATED her, but I guess men prefer women to just be upfront (quickly!) about their feelings/attraction. Good to know.


The problem with confronting someone directly one-on-one with the fact that you're not interested is you don't know how hostile or aggressive they may become in the moment. 

Also, for a lot of women, we don't necessarily make up our minds in the first 5 minutes about someone like most men do. So I may be waffling towards the end of a first date. How gracious and gentlemanly he ends it goes a long way to convincing me one way or the other.


----------



## Constable Odo

In retrospect, I think she was likely just turned off by your choice of attire that evening.

This is something more suitable to wear on your dates, given your personality type.


----------



## bkyln309

Sounds like she "dodged a bullet". No wonder the poster is single. I wouldnt be interested in a man this self centered and mean either.


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SARAHMCD said:


> The problem with confronting someone directly one-on-one with the fact that you're not interested is you don't know how hostile or aggressive they may become in the moment.
> 
> Also, for a lot of women, we don't necessarily make up our minds in the first 5 minutes about someone like most men do. So I may be waffling towards the end of a first date. How gracious and gentlemanly he ends it goes a long way to convincing me one way or the other.


Agreed!


----------



## BetrayedDad

SMG15 said:


> I hate dating


Then why are you dating?!? Is there a reason you NEED a woman? If there is, then you are not ready to date. As a dude, I get your frustration in the sense that a lot of dating is "reading between the lines". No one wants to offend anyone but your attitude sucks. 

Why? You expect something. Whether it's interest from her, for her to like you, a kiss, whatever. It's typical passive aggressive nice guy mentality. Subconsciously you think, "I dressed up, I appeared interested, took you out on a date, therefore you have to like me... you owe me something in return." 

WRONG. That's why you keep failing. She doesn't owe you jack squat. She probably knows her mailman better than she knows you. All she has to go by is your attitude and demeanor. She could probably smell the stench of neediness a mile away. You think your subtle. I guarantee you're not.

You attitude ought to be, "Let's hang out. If your cool let's do it again, it not, next. I got other sh!t I can be doing." You've GOT to take a way more laid back approach. Dating is a number's game. You can meet 100 woman and go on 99 crappy dates but you only need to click with ONE girl. What's the rush anyway? You seem to want to get into a relationship ASAP so you don't have to date anymore. Isn't it better to be more selective then to get stuck with a broken or crazy girl?


----------



## richie33

bkyln309 said:


> Sounds like she "dodged a bullet". No wonder the poster is single. I wouldnt be interested in a man this self centered and mean either.


Your loss. It was 8 freaking blocks in the summer damn it.


----------



## Hardtohandle

Guys and Gals

If anyone hasn't realized this yet.. By reading his other posts the OP has some issues and I would not entertain anything he has to say seriously.. 

Its either Trolling or some sort of asperger's syndrome.. He clearly isn't grasping the disconnect to say the least.


----------



## LonelyinLove

Dude, I don't care if it is 2015, you open the car door, you hold her coat, you pull out the chair, and yes, you should offer to pay.

And you damn well walk 8 blocks in an urban setting to keep her safe.

Either you are for real, and that totally explains your dating issues, or the boys junior high locker room is missing you....


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening
If a woman asked me to walk with her for a few blocks I would be flattered that she trusted me and / or wanted my company.


----------



## Tango in Triple Time

This is the same poster who doesn't do first dates unless the weather is to his liking.


----------



## EnigmaGirl

OP, don't you feel better at least knowing that you walked her and that she got home safely?

Or is the penalty for her not liking you is that she deserves to get attacked?

I went on a lot of first dates with guys that I decided not to date again. Almost all of them were nice guys and I enjoyed the date but they had compatibility issues with my lifestyle that wouldn't have fit with my long term goals so it was senseless to waste their time or mine. That's what the whole process of dating is about. If you can't handle that...you're not man enough to date.

There's zero excuse for you sending a woman a rude text for her simply deciding that you both weren't right for each other.


----------



## Love Pandy

Relax! Be a gentleman!


----------



## MountainRunner

CynthiaDe said:


> *You aren't "nice." *By what you have posted here, *you have shown yourself to be an unkind, rude, and inconsiderate person.* Women in their 30's are more mature and better equipped to spot that in a man than they are in their 20's.


:iagree:


----------



## MountainRunner

LonelyinLove said:


> Dude, I don't care if it is 2015, you open the car door, you hold her coat, you pull out the chair, and yes, you should offer to pay.
> 
> And you damn well walk 8 blocks in an urban setting to keep her safe.


Absolutely. OP...It is called being a "gentleman". Now perhaps that word may elude you, but you might want to look it up and see what it means to be a..."gentleman. Jeez....By just your attitude alone in this thread, you have *A LOT* to learn about attracting a partner.

Here's your first lesson...Stop being a d1ck.


----------



## MountainRunner

SecondTime'Round said:


> ...I don't need a man to open my car doors and pull out my chair, but if I were walking 8 blocks in the dark,* I'd like my date to offer to walk with me.*


And any "gentleman" should be willing to offer without ever having to be asked, agreed?


----------



## T&T

OP,

Read this and practice it. You'll be better off for it and so will your dates. 

22 of them don't cost you a single red cent...

23 Behaviors Of A Gentleman That Every Man Should Adopt


----------



## Maricha75

Mid-30s, you say? Hmmm... same as my husband. Glad he's not like OP. My husband is the type of man who would walk a lady to the train/bus/her car because he is a gentleman. Yea, I would say it's a good thing the lady dodged a bullet there.


----------



## poida

SMG15 said:


> I'm mid 30's


So am I. Big deal.


----------



## sapientia

Well, this thread became quite the sh!t-storm bandwagon since last night. Holy cow. How many different ways can a whole load of people say 'u r n a$$'?

Anyway, this seems to be resolved through pavlovian negative reinforcement, yes? He exhibited an unacceptable behaviour and failed to get the desired response. Perhaps this experience will prompt him to improve. Or failing this, we can always let Darwin do his thing.


----------



## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> None that I can think of off the top of my head. Just to be a gentleman, be chivalrous. This is a requirement for me at least. Not everyone will agree. You clearly don't. I don't need a man to open my car doors and pull out my chair, but if I were walking 8 blocks in the dark, I'd like my date to offer to walk with me.


Why the hell do you keep saying dark and I told you it was on a busy lit up downtown street with tons of people?


----------



## SMG15

Constable Odo said:


> In retrospect, I think she was likely just turned off by your choice of attire that evening.
> 
> This is something more suitable to wear on your dates, given your personality type.


My attire? I had on a tcream polo shirt and tan khakis which is the summer look


----------



## sapientia

Welcome to the collective hive mind of the internet.

Anyway, SMG15, clearly you are an absolutely horrible, evil person who deserves to be alone, forever because you posted your resentment and frustration about a date. :sarcasm:

Even though you actually did do the right thing and walked her back. I think? Am I remembering this right?

Maybe I'm wrong and you are just pure evil. But I was imagining you are simply expressing your 'inside voice' here and doing a bit of venting.

If you really are an a$$, well, the market will decide (no customers--women--for you). If you aren't then maybe you should work on ways to find women with shared values as some of the posters have suggested. Or try the wifebeater that John suggested. That should help


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> My attire? I had on a tcream polo shirt and tan khakis which is the summer look


LOL. You might also stop taking yourself so seriously.


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> Why the hell do you keep saying dark and I told you it was on a busy lit up downtown street with tons of people?


Why do you keep zeroing in on that one thing, rather than addressing your abhorrent behavior? Yes, I said abhorrent. I followed your thread last night and I would like to say I was surprised that you were such an @$$, but I am not. Sad, really, because I don't know you irl. But, based on just what you posted: irritated that you "had to walk 8 blocks" with your date, irritated that she didn't text you when she got home, and then sending her a nasty text because you got this ridiculous idea in your head that it was somehow HER FAULT you couldn't go to your favorite restaurant for dinner because YOU couldn't be BOTHERED to walk back in the other direction (that's not her fault, btw... that is your own LAZINESS!)... Frankly, I am glad I don't know you irl. You should be glad, too, because I would definitely tell you that you were being an @$$!


----------



## SMG15

Hardtohandle said:


> Guys and Gals
> 
> If anyone hasn't realized this yet.. By reading his other posts the OP has some issues and I would not entertain anything he has to say seriously..
> 
> Its either Trolling or some sort of asperger's syndrome.. He clearly isn't grasping the disconnect to say the least.


Please stop posting


----------



## SMG15

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> If a woman asked me to walk with her for a few blocks I would be flattered that she trusted me and / or wanted my company.


I was flattered and then confused when she didn't let me know she arrived home


----------



## SMG15

EnigmaGirl said:


> OP, don't you feel better at least knowing that you walked her and that she got home safely?
> 
> Or is the penalty for her not liking you is that she deserves to get attacked?
> 
> I went on a lot of first dates with guys that I decided not to date again. Almost all of them were nice guys and I enjoyed the date but they had compatibility issues with my lifestyle that wouldn't have fit with my long term goals so it was senseless to waste their time or mine. That's what the whole process of dating is about. If you can't handle that...you're not man enough to date.
> 
> There's zero excuse for you sending a woman a rude text for her simply deciding that you both weren't right for each other.



She got a rude text because she took me out my way and I could have been going home in the opposition direction. She wasted my energy, breathe, and time.


----------



## SMG15

Maricha75 said:


> Why do you keep zeroing in on that one thing, rather than addressing your abhorrent behavior? Yes, I said abhorrent. I followed your thread last night and I would like to say I was surprised that you were such an @$$, but I am not. Sad, really, because I don't know you irl. But, based on just what you posted: irritated that you "had to walk 8 blocks" with your date, irritated that she didn't text you when she got home, and then sending her a nasty text because you got this ridiculous idea in your head that it was somehow HER FAULT you couldn't go to your favorite restaurant for dinner because YOU couldn't be BOTHERED to walk back in the other direction (that's not her fault, btw... that is your own LAZINESS!)... Frankly, I am glad I don't know you irl. You should be gkad, too, because I would definitely tell you that you were being an @$$!



Well the date I have on wednesday was arranged for us to meet at the coffee shop NEXT to the train station.

So there will be no walking 8 blocks on that night lol


----------



## Holland

SMG15 said:


> Well the date I have on wednesday was arranged for us to meet at the coffee shop NEXT to the train station.
> 
> So there will be no walking 8 blocks on that night lol


I hope the weather is suitable that day


----------



## SMG15

Holland said:


> I hope the weather is suitable that day


Well who goes out in sh*tty weather?????????


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> She got a rude text because she took me out my way and I could have been going home in the opposition direction. She wasted my energy, breathe, and time.


So? She used her time, energy and breath to take the chance of meeting you. She travelled also, same as you.

Your post is a pretty self-centred. There is never a need for rudeness. One thing in this life.. you never know who people know. She could know your boss, a colleague, a friend who might make the perfect partner for you. Unfortunately, now you will never know b/c you closed that door.

Do you do that a lot? Close doors? I wonder how successful you are in your career also. Relationships matter, not just romantic ones.


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> Well who goes out in sh*tty weather?????????


LOL. Troll for sure. >


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> She got a rude text because she took me out my way and I could have been going home in the opposition direction. She wasted my energy, breathe, and time.


And, as others stated, she actually didn't waste your time. You could just as easily have said no. You could have made an excuse as to why you couldn't. It's not complicated. And she very well may have wanted more time to speak with you, but needed THAT train at that time. No matter what, it did not merit a nasty or rude text. You could easily have NICELY said you were concerned about her getting home but she didn't contact you. And that you wondered if you could get together again. Again, NICELY asked. But... you didn't. So, even if she WAS interested, but was more reserved, you killed any chance with your attitude. I hope, for the sake of the woman you will be seeing Wednesday, that you don't act like you have presented yourself here.


----------



## Cynthia

SMG15 said:


> Why the hell do you keep saying dark and I told you it was on a busy lit up downtown street with tons of people?


Because it was nighttime.


----------



## SMG15

sapientia said:


> So? She used her time, energy and breath to take the chance of meeting you. She travelled also, same as you.
> 
> Your post is a pretty self-centred. There is never a need for rudeness. One thing in this life.. you never know who people know. She could know your boss, a colleague, a friend who might make the perfect partner for you. Unfortunately, now you will never know b/c you closed that door.
> 
> Do you do that a lot? Close doors? I wonder how successful you are in your career also. Relationships matter, not just romantic ones.


No back in May a met a girl, we had ice cream and pizza, and then she suggested we sit in her car and talk for 40 mins, Then she called when she arrived home. We talked briefly before she went to sleep and then 2 days later she told me she didn;t feel a romantic connection

So we are now platonic friends


----------



## SMG15

CynthiaDe said:


> Because it was nighttime.


Night time in a LIT UP BUSY AREA


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> Night time in a LIT UP BUSY AREA


Doesn't make a bit of difference. I know I, for one, would feel safer WITH my date, even if it was the first date, whether on a busy lit up street or not. And I looked up the time you said for that date, too. It was getting dark, as in it was dusk. I still say the same thing. There was nothing wrong with her asking you to walk to the train. Well, there was one thing wrong... your attitude.


----------



## SMG15

Maricha75 said:


> Doesn't make a bit of difference. I know I, for one, would feel safer WITH my date, even if it was the first date, whether on a busy lit up street or not. And I looked up the time you said for that date, too. It was getting dark, as in it was dusk. I still say the same thing. There was nothing wrong with her asking you to walk to the train. Well, there was one thing wrong... your attitude.


So you would feel unsafe at Times Square at night time


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> So you would feel unsafe at Times Square at night time


Yes, I would. If I am around a lot of people I don't know, I do not feel safe. It doesn't matter how well lit the area is. I am also knew of those strange women who feels safer with either her husband or dad around in a storm. I know they have no control over the weather, but I just feel safer. I have always been that way. I can be in a very well lit parking lot at a mall, in an affluent neighborhood, with a lot of people around. I still wouldn't feel safe. I don't know those people. Gramted, your date didn't really know you, but she took the chance to meet you, which meant there was SOME level of trust... but, your attitude killed that, if it even grew at all.


----------



## SMG15

Maricha75 said:


> Yes, I would. If I am around a lot of people I don't know, I do not feel safe. It doesn't matter how well lit the area is. I am also knew of those strange women who feels safer with either her husband or dad around in a storm. I know they have no control over the weather, but I just feel safer. I have always been that way. I can be in a very well lit parking lot at a mall, in an affluent neighborhood, with a lot of people around. I still wouldn't feel safe. I don't know those people. Gramted, your date didn't really know you, but she took the chance to meet you, which meant there was SOME level of trust... but, your attitude killed that, if it even grew at all.



You sound like you have stalkers LOL


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> You sound like you have stalkers LOL


Not at all. Never have as far as I know. It is just who I am. I used to work as a cashier in my teens/early 20s. The policy of the store was that late night, the girls only went out when the customers were parked close to the building, where the managers could see. And after hours, the night stock workers would walk out with the female employees. I lived in a small town. Parking lot was well lit. Still, I appreciated the gesture. But, no, I have never been stalked.


----------



## thread the needle

There is no motive within the OP to improve or understand anything offered here. Not a single word has been taken to heart or considered in any fashion. All of the other silly threads started by the same OP are equally ridiculous. Nothing has been accomplished in any of the OP's threads other than humorous entertainment value on a par with reading Darwin awards. Every response of the OP is designed to keep the thread going without purpose or progress or acknowledgment of a single meritorious point made by any member. He is simply looking for attention that he is getting in volumes. What a waste of sincerity by members trying to penetrate the remarkable and likely intentional portrayal of thickness and utter lack of interest in improvement.


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> No back in May a met a girl, we had ice cream and pizza, and then she suggested we sit in her car and talk for 40 mins, Then she called when she arrived home. We talked briefly before she went to sleep and then 2 days later she told me she didn;t feel a romantic connection
> 
> So we are now platonic friends


Great. So in this last case you and she simply didn't click. Happens all the time in dating, get over it.

Like I said, none of my dates got a 2nd date except for my husband. They were physicians, business owners, investment bankers (that was the weird one), a college lecturer, a couple of programmers... turns out one of them had a connection to the university I work at. Wouldn't have found out if we couldn't have a pleasant dialogue. You need to think of this more like networking and take the urgency out of the experience.

Try drinking less coffee, cola or whatever caffeine is your choice and having a soothing herbal tea in the afternoon before you meet your date. Relax.


----------



## sapientia

thread the needle said:


> There is no motive within the OP to improve or understand anything offered here. Not a single word has been taken to heart or considered in any fashion. All of the other silly threads started by the same OP are equally ridiculous. Nothing has been accomplished in any of the OP's threads other than humorous entertainment value on a par with reading Darwin awards. I putting my money on troll out for a stroll looking for attention that he is getting in volumes. What a waste.


I'm amused. I also believe that anyone spending this amount of time online probably does have dating issues.


----------



## thread the needle

sapientia said:


> Great. Happens all the time, get over it.
> 
> Try drinking less coffee, cola or whatever caffeine is your choice
> 
> Relax.


LOL


----------



## Chelle D

I would feel unsafe alone for 8 blocks in that city!.... Is 'times square' the whole 8 blocks?? Sheizt, in my neighborhood, 8 blocks would get me almost to the center of town. 
My hubby would NOT let me walk 8 blocks alone at night.

I don't think a date (first or not).. should require (or allow) a female date to walk alone that far. Dark lonely streets, or lit up busy. Either. Lit up busy might be worse, due to the fact that no one would pay attention to a scream, b/c lots of people joking around loud & having fun.

Could get "bumped" & jostled, easily and pickpocketed without knowing....

SMG.. I feel you are just trying to rose up a fight b/c you are feeling bad and angry at her because the date didn't go too well for her. You didn't click well with her (at least from what I see,... in her opinion)... Let it go.. 

If it was meant to be, you would have already had a second date lined up. You don't... let it pass. If you bump into her again, and she asks why you didn't call, tell her you got the vibe that she didn't want you to.. But otherwise, let it go that you did the "good" thing and got her safely to the train.


----------



## SMG15

sapientia said:


> Great. So in this last case you and she simply didn't click. Happens all the time in dating, get over it.
> 
> Like I said, none of my dates got a 2nd date except for my husband. They were physicians, business owners, investment bankers (that was the weird one), a college lecturer, a couple of programmers... turns out one of them had a connection to the university I work at. Wouldn't have found out if we couldn't have a pleasant dialogue. You need to think of this more like networking and take the urgency out of the experience.
> 
> Try drinking less coffee, cola or whatever caffeine is your choice and having a soothing herbal tea in the afternoon before you meet your date. Relax.



I was attracted to her and wanted to see her again but she didn't feel the romantic connection

It still doesn't feel like we have a platonic feel to our conversation when we talk. She doesn't communicate wirh me in a platonic way so I am not sure she is serious about being friends

She still talks to me with a dating type of tone.


Platonic tone is LIGHT and FUN. So this doesn't feel like that type of friendship


----------



## SMG15

Chelle D said:


> I would feel unsafe alone for 8 blocks in that city!.... Is 'times square' the whole 8 blocks?? Sheizt, in my neighborhood, 8 blocks would get me almost to the center of town.
> My hubby would NOT let me walk 8 blocks alone at night.
> 
> I don't think a date (first or not).. should require (or allow) a female date to walk alone that far. Dark lonely streets, or lit up busy. Either. Lit up busy might be worse, due to the fact that no one would pay attention to a scream, b/c lots of people joking around loud & having fun.
> 
> Could get "bumped" & jostled, easily and pickpocketed without knowing....
> 
> SMG.. I feel you are just trying to rose up a fight b/c you are feeling bad and angry at her because the date didn't go too well for her. You didn't click well with her (at least from what I see,... in her opinion)... Let it go..
> 
> If it was meant to be, you would have already had a second date lined up. You don't... let it pass. If you bump into her again, and she asks why you didn't call, tell her you got the vibe that she didn't want you to.. But otherwise, let it go that you did the "good" thing and got her safely to the train.




She had the option to stand at the bus stop and wait for a bus. That's why I said by her saying walk me to the train, it gave off the vibe that she was feeling me


----------



## Cynthia

In the spirit of this thread of honest opinions that you asked for, I'm going to bow out. In all honesty, you are either a troll or a fool. You show no empathy or understanding for women then you wonder why you don't have a relationship. You don't have a relationship because you have a problem. Since I'm not trained in diagnosing these issues, I don't know what your problem is, but I'd recommend you show this thread to a counselor or a psychologist and ask him to help you find out what it is, because you need help. I would not want to help you find a woman, because you would abuse her. You would treat her like an appliance. That is how you have shown that you view women and it is abusive. Do not send me any pm's.


----------



## Chelle D

Could be that you're reading more into it that she intends??

Feelings & tone are not easily shared via text/written mini/short messages.


Another possibility is that she just wants a "flirting" friend. Doesn't want to get involved, but likes to flirt. She told you no further for relationship, so she feels safe to be flirty in a text without you expecting a relationship.

??? Just a different point of view...


----------



## sapientia

SMG15 said:


> I was attracted to her and wanted to see her again but she didn't feel the romantic connection
> 
> It still doesn't feel like we have a platonic feel to our conversation when we talk. She doesn't communicate wirh me in a platonic way so I am not sure she is serious about being friends
> 
> She still talks to me with a dating type of tone.
> 
> 
> Platonic tone is LIGHT and FUN. So this doesn't feel like that type of friendship


What, huh? Which woman are we talking about?

What is a dating tone? Not light and fun? That's likely your problem, bucko.


----------



## SMG15

CynthiaDe said:


> In the spirit of this thread of honest opinions that you asked for, I'm going to bow out. In all honesty, you are either a troll or a fool. You show no empathy or understanding for women then you wonder why you don't have a relationship. You don't have a relationship because you have a problem. Since I'm not trained in diagnosing these issues, I don't know what your problem is, but I'd recommend you show this thread to a counselor or a psychologist and ask him to help you find out what it is, because you need help. I would not want to help you find a woman, because you would abuse her. You would treat her like an appliance. That is how you have shown that you view women and it is abusive. Do not send me any pm's.


How bout you be my private counselor and counsel me in private messages?


----------



## sapientia

Lmfao.


----------



## SMG15

sapientia said:


> What, huh? Which woman are we talking about?
> 
> What is a dating tone? Not light and fun? That's likely your problem, bucko.



Dating tone is more serious

Platonic tone we can say anything to each other. I keep asking her if she met someone and she has said no TWICE. Then she tells me I have a caressing voice.

That's not platonic talk LOL


----------



## sapientia

So, ask her out then. If its not platonic there's only 2 things happening - she wants to date you or she's messing with you.

If the former, then jump on it. If the latter then mess her around right back. You might surprise her into a yes.

Come on, man. Show us that troll face. You know you want to.


----------



## SMG15

sapientia said:


> So, ask her out then. If its not platonic there's only 2 things happening - she wants to date you or she's messing with you.
> 
> If the former, then jump on it. If the latter then mess her around right back. You might surprise her into a yes.
> 
> Come on, man. Show us that troll face. You know you want to.


I asked her do platonic friends have to see each other while the sun is out and she said no. lol


----------



## sapientia

Even trolls should ask girls out on dates. Try it.

"Hey, platonic friend. Let's play anagrams and turn platonic to oilcan and have some fun..."


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> Why the hell do you keep saying dark and I told you it was on a busy lit up downtown street with tons of people?


Because you said it was dark way back on page 1. Street lights don't count. 



SMG15 said:


> It was dark but we were in the downtown section of a city at 8pm in the evening


----------



## SecondTime'Round

Maricha75 said:


> Not at all. Never have as far as I know. It is just who I am. I used to work as a cashier in my teens/early 20s. The policy of the store was that late night, the girls only went out when the customers were parked close to the building, where the managers could see. And after hours, the night stock workers would walk out with the female employees. I lived in a small town. Parking lot was well lit. Still, I appreciated the gesture. But, no, I have never been stalked.


I have been stalked once. And strangely enough, it was in the exact area that OP's date was walking....center city Philadelphia! How about that? . AND, it was always in broad daylight!


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno

Probably because you didn't offer to walk her, she needed to ask.
And, because you didn't offer to walk her and probably didn't hold her hand or put your arm around her shoulder after being invited on said walk (an option she had was to call a cab) and did not say anything to her about interest, she figured she needed to say something for closure, such as the pleasantry that she offered.

Sorry dude, always remember that you are the other person.

You do not have to send her any kind of inappropriate text. You have a choice.
You also do not have to use swear words to ask for honesty from ladies in your post..
We are being gracious in replying...you lured us in asking a question for help and then barraged us with swear words right off the bat. 

I think this lady dodged a bullet. That's my honest opinion. If you get that angry and upset that easily at such an ordinary occurrence, it's likely your troubles in dating are going to continue.


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SMG, did you get a response to your angry text?


----------



## AFallenAngel

SMG15 said:


> why the hell would a woman who is not interested in seeing a guy for a second date ask him to walk her to the train which is a 8 block walk only to say this when we part ways
> 
> "it was nice meeting you"
> 
> 
> I don't know much about dating but I am normal enough to know that particular statement didn't sound too good after a date. Which probably explains why she didn't text me to let me know she arrived home.
> 
> Why do some women do this stupid sh*T? Now I have to send her a inappropriate text for wasting my energy and time? All she had to say was "I have to go not can you walk with me to train.
> 
> I hate dating


Why do you have to send her an inappropriate text? Why not just move on and don't call her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Hardtohandle

SMG15 said:


> Please stop posting


It seems I hit a sore spot.. 
Why not just tell us what your issue is and then maybe someone here can express it to you in a way you understand.. 

But after reading 17 pages of people just posting *YOU JUST DON'T GET IT*

It seems *YOU JUST DON'T GET IT*

If you don't quote me I won't notice... Its the ONLY thing that brought me back here.. Trust me..


----------



## EnigmaGirl

> She got a rude text because she took me out my way and I could have been going home in the opposition direction. She wasted my energy, breathe, and time.



If you think its a waste of your energy, breath and time to get ANY woman home safely...not only are you not much of a date, you're not much of a man.


----------



## EnigmaGirl

> I asked her do platonic friends have to see each other while the sun is out and she said no. lol


Smart girl.

Guys that get this furious at polite rejection seriously disturb me.


----------



## NobodySpecial

SMG15 said:


> So you would feel unsafe at Times Square at night time


I wouldn't.


----------



## Maricha75

NobodySpecial said:


> I wouldn't.


No problem either way, but did you mean you would feel safe in Times Square at night? Or were you agreeing with me that you would not feel safe?


----------



## NobodySpecial

Maricha75 said:


> No problem either way, but did you mean you would feel safe in Times Square at night? Or were you agreeing with me that you would not feel safe?


I would not feel safe walking alone at night in Times Square. The business would not be a factor for me. My experience is that people will not extend themselves to someone needing help.


----------



## Maricha75

Thanks, NS. I thought that was what you were saying, but since he had asked if I would feel UNsafe, I just wanted to be certain.


----------



## NobodySpecial

Maricha75 said:


> Thanks, NS. I thought that was what you were saying, but since he had asked if I would feel UNsafe, I just wanted to be certain.


Yah not a lot of attention to detail on my part!


----------



## Maricha75

NobodySpecial said:


> Yah not a lot of attention to detail on my part!


No problem!


----------



## Cooper

SMG15 I have some questions for you. Let's say that you're not just screwing around here using this forum as a way to vent or waste time, let's say you really want to figure some things out and live a better life. 

Numerous posters, myself included, have been critical of your social views and philosophies, and many of us have asked how/why you think that way, so how about sharing some history with us so we can better understand.

Have you ever had a serious or long term relationship?
Do you live on your own?  If so for how long?
Did you go to public schools? College?
What do you do for work?
Do you have any pets?
Have you traveled?
Are you a virgin?
Ever had and counseling? 
Do you have friends? A large circle of friends or just a few?
Introvert or extrovert?
OCD tendencies?
Were you raised in a two parent home? 
Good relationship with your parents?
Any siblings? Good relationship with them? 

Honestly I'm just trying to figure you out, your views are so narrow minded and self centered it's unhealthy. How the heck did you get to that point?


----------



## joannacroc

SMG15 said:


> Well lots of women think having a vagina makes them marriage material and forget that they are the only who has one.


I think your biggest obstacle here is the fact that you hate women. You are extremely passive aggressive in this thread, and on occasion, just plain aggressive. Women, whatever their goal in dating, pick up on nonverbal cues very easily. So add those to whatever you said during your date, and there is your reason you got the text brush off. Your bitterness and anger are only going to damage YOU in the long run and I'm sure you don't want that. I am genuinely trying to help when I say the following: start IC. You aren't going to end up doing well in the dating game if you loathe women. Work on that. Work on yourself. Down the line, you'll be ready to date. But right now your extreme reactions to someone not hitting it off with you aren't the reactions of a rational person. Best of luck.


----------



## I Don't Know

Nmmng?


----------



## Maricha75

I Don't Know said:


> Nmmng?


Wouldn't he have to be nice in the first place? That, clearly, is NOT the case here.


----------



## I Don't Know

I don't know, I think he kinda is, but he will only be nice as long as it is benefiting him. He did walk her to the train so he will do things for women but clearly expects something from it. He worries about impressing (women) and doesn't want to show up for a date wet or hot. He's still friends with the one girl that told him I'm not attracted to you, BUT he stated later (or actually implied) that he thinks there's still a chance with her. 

I'm seeing some covert contracts, but I'd think that a typical NG would probably wait a little longer before blowing up and sending a nasty text.


----------



## EnigmaGirl

My creep radar is going off.


----------



## Lon

I Don't Know said:


> I don't know, I think he kinda is, but he will only be nice as long as it is benefiting him. He did walk her to the train so he will do things for women but clearly expects something from it. He worries about impressing (women) and doesn't want to show up for a date wet or hot. He's still friends with the one girl that told him I'm not attracted to you, BUT he stated later (or actually implied) that he thinks there's still a chance with her.
> 
> I'm seeing some covert contracts, but I'd think that a typical NG would probably wait a little longer before blowing up and sending a nasty text.


He sounds like one of the "bad" NG's, as Glover put it.

OP, stop putting pressure on yourself to date. Date because you want to and try to just enjoy the time with a woman for what it is, not where it's heading, and definitely stop being resentful towards the people you choose to go out with for your missed opportunities which have nothing at all to do with them. Next time you feel this frustrated about dating then just take a break from it and do something you will not be resentful about instead.


----------



## SMG15

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Probably because you didn't offer to walk her, she needed to ask.
> And, because you didn't offer to walk her and probably didn't hold her hand or put your arm around her shoulder after being invited on said walk (an option she had was to call a cab) and did not say anything to her about interest, she figured she needed to say something for closure, such as the pleasantry that she offered.
> 
> Sorry dude, always remember that you are the other person.
> 
> You do not have to send her any kind of inappropriate text. You have a choice.
> You also do not have to use swear words to ask for honesty from ladies in your post..
> We are being gracious in replying...you lured us in asking a question for help and then barraged us with swear words right off the bat.
> 
> I think this lady dodged a bullet. That's my honest opinion. If you get that angry and upset that easily at such an ordinary occurrence, it's likely your troubles in dating are going to continue.


I gave the holding hand some thought and maybe you are right


----------



## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> SMG, did you get a response to your angry text?


Yes all she said after the nasty message was......"please stop contacting me"

lol


----------



## SMG15

Hardtohandle said:


> It seems I hit a sore spot..
> Why not just tell us what your issue is and then maybe someone here can express it to you in a way you understand..
> 
> But after reading 17 pages of people just posting *YOU JUST DON'T GET IT*
> 
> It seems *YOU JUST DON'T GET IT*
> 
> If you don't quote me I won't notice... Its the ONLY thing that brought me back here.. Trust me..


My issue is so many women are looking for MAGIC on a first date like in the movies


----------



## EnigmaGirl

> My issue is so many women are looking for MAGIC on a first date like in the movies


LOL...Reading your posts, that is sooo not your issue.


----------



## SMG15

EnigmaGirl said:


> If you think its a waste of your energy, breath and time to get ANY woman home safely...not only are you not much of a date, you're not much of a man.


Watch it


----------



## T&T

SMG15 said:


> Yes all she said after the nasty message was......"please stop contacting me"
> 
> lol


Get used to it..You need to be more realistic, SMG. It would help if you didn't get bent walking 8 blocks for a lady. 

How old are you again? 30's?


----------



## SMG15

EnigmaGirl said:


> Smart girl.
> 
> Guys that get this furious at polite rejection seriously disturb me.


Let me explain something to you

Polite and rejection don't go together ok? There is no need to be polite when rejecting someone. Just say I am not interested or move on. And you also have the option to ignore all calls and messages.


Never understood why so many feel the need to act like an employer when it comes to turning a guy down


----------



## EnigmaGirl

> Watch it


Uh oh...You're not getting ready to fire off another one of those nasty texts to me are you?

I'm so scurred...


----------



## SMG15

Cooper said:


> SMG15 I have some questions for you. Let's say that you're not just screwing around here using this forum as a way to vent or waste time, let's say you really want to figure some things out and live a better life.
> 
> Numerous posters, myself included, have been critical of your social views and philosophies, and many of us have asked how/why you think that way, so how about sharing some history with us so we can better understand.
> 
> Have you ever had a serious or long term relationship?
> Do you live on your own? If so for how long?
> Did you go to public schools? College?
> What do you do for work?
> Do you have any pets?
> Have you traveled?
> Are you a virgin?
> Ever had and counseling?
> Do you have friends? A large circle of friends or just a few?
> Introvert or extrovert?
> OCD tendencies?
> Were you raised in a two parent home?
> Good relationship with your parents?
> Any siblings? Good relationship with them?
> 
> Honestly I'm just trying to figure you out, your views are so narrow minded and self centered it's unhealthy. How the heck did you get to that point?



Yes I been in a long term relationship and hell no I'm not a virgin


----------



## SMG15

Well I have a date tomorrow evening at a coffee place. And I arrange it so that we meet at the coffee shop right next to the train station. So if there is any walking tomorrow night it would be because we are digging each other since the coffee place is right next to the train


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> Yes all she said after the nasty message was......"please stop contacting me"
> 
> lol


Smart woman.


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> Watch it


That wouldn't be a veiled threat....would it?


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> Let me explain something to you
> 
> Polite and rejection don't go together ok? There is no need to be polite when rejecting someone. Just say I am not interested or move on. And you also have the option to ignore all calls and messages.
> 
> 
> Never understood why so many feel the need to act like an employer when it comes to turning a guy down


Well, apparently, there is no need to be polite at all, even if there is no discussion of being rejected. At least, not for SOME people.


----------



## SMG15

Maricha75 said:


> Well, apparently, there is no need to be polite at all, even if there is no discussion of being rejected. At least, not for SOME people.


Normally I prefer someone not respond to my text messages if she is not interested after a date but since she ASKED me to walk with her I had mixed signals.

If we had just parted ways and she arrived home and never contacted me I would have never contacted her either. But I still had in my mind she was interested and just busy


----------



## ExiledBayStater

SMG15 said:


> My issue is so many women are looking for MAGIC on a first date like in the movies


That frustrated me too in my early single days. It hurts when someone decides in a short timeframe that she doesn't need to know any more. 

For me, the first date that led to marriage was the one where I had no expectations. Not a second date, not "magic," nothing. For us men (the women only rule has gone well out the window) dating is a frustrating process. It feels like it will never end, like we're just throwing money away. It's okay to take a break from it.

Others have reacted like you're a bad person. I don't think you are, but I do think you're looking at dating wrong. Your goal is to get to know someone and have her get to know you. Generally that means picking up the tab. If you were trying to sell your home and having an open house, you or your broker would probably put out some freshly baked cookies. Most people who eat them would not be making an offer. I've never been in a position to court a major business account, but I know people who have. The effort they go through, the expense, to make the representatives comfortable, is just amazing. Most don't sign on, but those that do more than make it worth it.


----------



## SMG15

ExiledBayStater said:


> That frustrated me too in my early single days. It hurts when someone decides in a short timeframe that she doesn't need to know any more.
> 
> For me, the first date that led to marriage was the one where I had no expectations. Not a second date, not "magic," nothing. For us men (the women only rule has gone well out the window) dating is a frustrating process. It feels like it will never end, like we're just throwing money away. It's okay to take a break from it.
> 
> Others have reacted like you're a bad person. I don't think you are, but I do think you're looking at dating wrong. Your goal is to get to know someone and have her get to know you. Generally that means picking up the tab. If you were trying to sell your home and having an open house, you or your broker would probably put out some freshly baked cookies. Most people who eat them would not be making an offer. I've never been in a position to court a major business account, but I know people who have. The effort they go through, the expense, to make the representatives comfortable, is just amazing. Most don't sign on, but those that do more than make it worth it.


yeah it sucks that women get to multiple date and be treated by different men while deciding who is best. A man has to put his heart on the line and pay for the outing which starts to get costly


Example, dinner and movie in 2015 cost around $125


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> Normally I prefer someone not respond to my text messages if she is not interested after a date but since she ASKED me to walk with her I had mixed signals.
> 
> If we had just parted ways and she arrived home and never contacted me I would have never contacted her either. But I still had in my mind she was interested and just busy


Which, as others stated, could still have been the case... until you sent the nasty message and revealed yourself to be an @$$ in her eyes. I would tell someone not to contact me as well, if I was sent a nasty text. The only mixed signals were the ones in your head: the ones that go from your brain to your mouth (or hands, in this case, because you are typing).


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> yeah it sucks that women get to multiple date and be treated by different men while deciding who is best. A man has to put his heart on the line and pay for the outing which starts to get costly
> 
> 
> Example, dinner and movie in 2015 cost around $125


Ouch! $125 for dinner and a movie??? I would pick either one or the other and stick to lower priced restaurants. And no, I don't mean fast food. But you can go to decent restaurants that cost less. It isn't impossible.


----------



## SMG15

Maricha75 said:


> Which, as others stated, could still have been the case... until you sent the nasty message and revealed yourself to be an @$$ in her eyes. I would tell someone not to contact me as well, if u was sent a nasty text. The only mixed signals were the ones in your head: the ones that go from your brain to your mouth (or hands, in this case, because you are typing).


What made me send the nasty text was from the reaction of everyone on here when I posted her first text

So many was like........."oh she is not interested"


----------



## SMG15

Maricha75 said:


> Ouch! $125 for dinner and a movie??? I would pick either one or the other and stick to lower priced restaurants. And no, I don't mean fast food. But you can go to decent restaurants that cost less. It isn't impossible.


I thought you were about to say $125 is nothing LOL


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> What made me send the nasty text was from the reaction of everyone on here when I posted her first text
> 
> So many was like........."oh she is not interested"


Do not even try to put this on us. YOU made up your mind. You could have EASILY been nice about it and actually asked if she was interested or not. She could have been one who would have enjoyed spending time with you, as a friend, but nothing more. You know... like the one you met a couple months ago. Instead, you took it upon yourself to cut off even THAT possibility. And now, you want to say it is OUR fault that YOU behaved so poorly? LMAO! You CANNOT be for real!


----------



## EnigmaGirl

> yeah it sucks that women get to multiple date and be treated by different men while deciding who is best.


Um....yes, that is the exact definition of dating.

What is the alternative. That she's obligated to pick you whether she likes you or not?




> A man has to put his heart on the line and pay for the outing which starts to get costly


Um, didn't you say that you didn't pay anything for this date?

By the way, plenty of women pay for dates. I'm married and me and my husband still fight over the check.


----------



## ExiledBayStater

SMG15 said:


> yeah it sucks that women get to multiple date and be treated by different men while deciding who is best. A man has to put his heart on the line and pay for the outing which starts to get costly
> 
> 
> Example, dinner and movie in 2015 cost around $125


To be fair, more than a few women in the world have offered special loving, hoping for more, and found that they had just been fvcked.


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> I thought you were about to say $125 is nothing LOL


Why would I? I was one who pointed out that some women don't wear makeup and wouldn't mind meeting someone for the first time in a rainstorm. I am one of those types, btw. I don't wear makeup and rain doesn't bother me. It's water. But, I am also one who doesn't get dressed up just to get the mail. I hate getting dressed up for anything, so I would likely make a bad first impression, by your standards.


----------



## EnigmaGirl

> What made me send the nasty text was from the reaction of everyone on here when I posted her first text


You're totally right. Your bear absolutely no responsibility for this. Its all the fault of the strangers on an internet forum who subliminally convinced you to send a rude text to the woman you personally dated.

Now you should immediately log off because there's a Nigerian businessman in your inbox that has a million dollar inheritance waiting for you as soon as you wire him a thousand dollars.


----------



## SMG15

EnigmaGirl said:


> Um....yes, that is the exact definition of dating.
> 
> What is the alternative. That she's obligated to pick you whether she likes you or not?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Um, didn't you say that you didn't pay anything for this date?
> 
> By the way, plenty of women pay for dates. I'm married and me and my husband still fight over the check.


It doesn't happen that often, Thursday I didn't pay., Friday I paid


----------



## EnigmaGirl

dup post...sorry


----------



## EnigmaGirl

> It doesn't happen that often, Thursday I didn't pay., Friday I paid


I think you should actually date less and not because I think you're a jerk...(even though I do kinda think that)...but because I think it would benefit you to get to know the woman you're about to take out better.

Phone calls and email are free. And clearly you don't handle rejection well, so spend more time trying to talk beforehand to even see if she's truly compatible with you. 

That way you can rule a lot of these women out before you're paying for dates when its clearly a problem for you. 

At the end of the day though, if you're not ready to deal with being a gentleman or ready to deal with rejection...you should just take a break from dating altogether until you mature a bit. 

I think given the development stage you at...even if Ms. Perfect landed in your lap, you'd probably eff it up.


----------



## SMG15

EnigmaGirl said:


> I think you should actually date less and not because I think you're a jerk...(even though I do kinda think that)...but because I think it would benefit you to get to know the woman you're about to take out better.
> 
> Phone calls and email is free. And clearly you don't handle rejection well, so spend more time trying to talk beforehand to even see if she's truly compatible with you.
> 
> That way you can rule a lot of these women out before you're paying for dates when its clearly a problem for you.
> 
> At the end of the day though, if you're not ready to deal with being a gentleman or ready to deal with rejection...you should just take a break from dating altogether until you mature a bit.
> 
> I think given the development stage you at...even if Ms. Perfect landed in your lap, you'd probably eff it up.



What does it mean when a woman looks into your eyes on a date and not saying anything?


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> What does it mean when a woman looks into your eyes on a date and not saying anything?


She's trying to figure you out.


----------



## SMG15

Maricha75 said:


> She's trying to figure you out.


Well it's uncomfortable and I don't like it


----------



## EnigmaGirl

> What does it mean when a woman looks into your eyes on a date and not saying anything?


Hmm...I'm not sure.

Was she trying to connect you with a mug shot photo?


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> Well it's uncomfortable and I don't like it


Too bad? You have a lot to hide, I guess?


----------



## SMG15

EnigmaGirl said:


> Hmm...I'm not sure.
> 
> Was she trying to connect you with a mug shot photo?



I hope that **** doesn't happen tomorrow


----------



## Maricha75

EnigmaGirl said:


> Hmm...I'm not sure.
> 
> Was she trying to connect you with a mug shot photo?


Good call...


----------



## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> I hope that **** doesn't happen tomorrow


If it does, don't forget the nasty text after.


----------



## SARAHMCD

enigmagirl said:


> what does it mean when a woman looks into your eyes on a date and not saying anything?
> 
> 
> 
> hmm...i'm not sure.
> 
> Was she trying to connect you with a mug shot photo?
Click to expand...

lmao!!!!


----------



## SMG15

Maricha75 said:


> If it does, don't forget the nasty text after.


I think I am going for it all tomorrow night. I will know all I need to know before I arrive home. I will not come home guessing that's for sure


----------



## BradWesley

After reading many of your posts, on a couple of your threads, regarding your ideas and philosophy on dating, I've come to the following conclusion:

You don't get laid much.


----------



## SARAHMCD

SMG15 said:


> Maricha75 said:
> 
> 
> 
> If it does, don't forget the nasty text after.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I think I am going for it all tomorrow night. I will know all I need to know before I arrive home. I will not come home guessing that's for sure
Click to expand...

Can you give pm this poor girls email address so we can warn her?


----------



## SMG15

SARAHMCD said:


> Can you give pm this poor girls email address so we can warn her?


email is outdated


----------



## Hardtohandle

SMG15 said:


> I think I am going for it all tomorrow night. I will know all I need to know before I arrive home. I will not come home guessing that's for sure


Roofies ?


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> Normally I prefer someone not respond to my text messages if she is not interested after a date but since she ASKED me to walk with her I had mixed signals.
> 
> *If we had just parted ways and she arrived home and never contacted me I would have never contacted her either. * But I still had in my mind she was interested and just busy


Sorry if I misunderstood, but isn't this exactly what happened? She arrived home and didn't contact you, but then you DID contact her the next morning to "ask how she was feeling?" I'm confused.


----------



## Maricha75

Hardtohandle said:


> Roofies ?


Gotta get her to agree to go back to his place somehow...


----------



## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> yeah it sucks that women get to multiple date and be treated by different men while deciding who is best. A man has to put his heart on the line and pay for the outing which starts to get costly
> 
> 
> Example, dinner and movie in 2015 cost around $125



I think almost everyone this board will agree that a movie is a terrible idea for a first date since you can't talk. So, it's just dinner. And since you don't even drink, your part of the tab is considerably cheaper. Choose a place that has decent priced meals and your date might get one or two drinks with her meal (if any, since you don't drink). You're looking at HALF what you projected.

What do you do for a living?


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> email is outdated


Phone number then? Pretty please? She needs a warning.


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> What does it mean when a woman looks into your eyes on a date and not saying anything?


I think it means you've left her speechless by something you've said.


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> Sorry if I misunderstood, but isn't this exactly what happened? She arrived home and didn't contact you, but then you DID contact her the next morning to "ask how she was feeling?" I'm confused.



And her response to that text is what I posted here which many of you said........."Oh she is not interested"


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## SMG15

SecondTime'Round said:


> I think almost everyone this board will agree that a movie is a terrible idea for a first date since you can't talk. So, it's just dinner. And since you don't even drink, your part of the tab is considerably cheaper. Choose a place that has decent priced meals and your date might get one or two drinks with her meal (if any, since you don't drink). You're looking at HALF what you projected.
> 
> What do you do for a living?


you know damm well I wasn't talking about no movies and dinner for a first date lol

I was just saying in general what a movie and dinner cost


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> And her response to that text is what I posted here which many of you said........."Oh she is not interested"


OK, I went back and realized I misunderstood that you meant you would not have expected a text from her if she'd just left you at the coffee shop, but since you walked with her and she said she'd text you....hence the reaction....ok, I get it. 

My advice to you is to find someone with whatever personality disorder/mental disorder you have so you two are on the same page. I think it's going to be hard for you to find a woman to put up with your demands with your current untreated disorder.


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## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> And her response to that text is what I posted here which many of you said........."Oh she is not interested"


But you just said... oh, forget it. Time to get off this carnival ride.

I truly hope this woman you are meeting tomorrow figures you out early enough. I would hate for another lady to receive an unwarranted nasty text from you.


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## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> you know damm well I wasn't talking about no movies and dinner for a first date lol
> 
> I was just saying in general what a movie and dinner cost


No, you really didn't specify whether you meant for a first date or not. How are we to know your plans?


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## turnera

SMG15 said:


> why the hell would a woman who is not interested in seeing a guy for a second date ask him to walk her to the train which is a 8 block walk only to say this when we part ways
> 
> "it was nice meeting you"


Because women still need protection and still want men to want to give that protection.


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## SMG15

turnera said:


> Because women still need protection and still want men to want to give that protection.


I don't need to protect strangers


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## Maricha75

SMG15 said:


> I don't need to protect strangers


Clearly, you do...

From yourself.


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## SecondTime'Round

SMG15 said:


> I don't need to protect strangers


You were perfectly fine protecting her when you assumed you were going to get something from it. Since you did not, you're all pissed off. It's all about you.


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## Hardtohandle

I'm telling you this is some funny sh!t.. 

I'm laughing my a$$ off..


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## turnera

SMG15 said:


> What made me send the nasty text was from the reaction of everyone on here when I posted her first text
> 
> So many was like........."oh she is not interested"


Oh, so it's OUR fault that you acted like a jerk?

Good to know your pattern. I'll bet you blame the girls if they don't put out, too?


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## AFallenAngel

EnigmaGirl said:


> Smart girl.
> 
> Guys that get this furious at polite rejection seriously disturb me.


I must be missing a lot of replies but it does seem that you are a bit on the hot headed side. Ppl date. Some work out and some don't. But after seeing your temper here, I know I would pick up on that right away and you wouldn't get a second date or friendship from me. I don't mean to be harsh but it's the truth. You can't make someone like you and I would cease all contact if I were her to. You wanted honest answers but you don't seem to like what you are hearing and I am sorry for that but I don't always like what I hear either, however, I take it and try to learn from it. Do you see a therapist?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75

Wait... I just took a look at your other threads. You said your weekdays are precious to you AND that you never have first dates during the week, due to work. So... if you don't do first dates on werkdays, how are you rationalizing this one?


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## SecondTime'Round

Hardtohandle said:


> I'm telling you this is some funny sh!t..
> 
> I'm laughing my a$$ off..


I'm very glad to hear that! I'm assuming it's for the right reasons . Are there any new developments with your pharmacist friend?


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## sapientia

You hate women but desperately want one to love you.

God, man, good people find good people. Please just enjoy the experience of meeting people. Most are fundamentally good, if perhaps on their own journey of self-discovery. This means some of them might be asses. If you meet them, don't get angry about it, just let them go.

It takes some people years to find the one who they can grow old with. Don't despair and don't get bitter or, as another said, when the right person for you comes along you may frighten them off.

Relax. Life is too short for self-imposed bitterness.


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## SMG15

Hardtohandle said:


> I'm telling you this is some funny sh!t..
> 
> I'm laughing my a$$ off..



Your screen name is funny too


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## SMG15

turnera said:


> Oh, so it's OUR fault that you acted like a jerk?
> 
> Good to know your pattern. I'll bet you blame the girls if they don't put out, too?



If a girl promise to have sex with me by a certain day and then backs out I would take her court


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## sapientia

Troooooollll. LOL.

Still, stop being so bitter. Even trolls need love.


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## Prodigal

I read the first six pages of this thread ....

Now I'll start up a rousing chorus of "Troll, troll, troll your boat gently down the stream ..."

:lol::rofl:


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## turnera

SMG15 said:


> If a girl promise to have sex with me by a certain day and then backs out I would take her court


Of course you would.


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## SMG15

turnera said:


> Of course you would.


"Judge, she promised to give me the p*ssy on the 8th"


LOL


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## Hardtohandle

SecondTime'Round said:


> I'm very glad to hear that! I'm assuming it's for the right reasons . Are there any new developments with your pharmacist friend?


I'm holding out.. My emotions are all over the fvcking place.. 

I got another job offer from my friend.. I lost VP spot but a AVP spot opened up.. 

But I already negotiated my money with this other company.. As much as I know I will have it good working with a good friend of mine being my boss.. I think this other job might have me doing much more work which is oddly good.. I do computer forensics and I will be doing incident response and they also mentioned learning malware analysis.. 

Malware analysis deals with dissecting computer viruses and learning how they work.. It really is another field altogether but it really gives me more opportunities and in many ways I can almost write my own ticket salary wise.. It wouldn't be far fetched to get paid above 150k to do this work if not 200k.. 


But also I think I need to do something on my own if you know what I mean.. I think I need to be solo to grow a bit.. Having him there is a crutch.. He has been with me through my divorce and listened to all my sh!t like many here.. 

I think I need to move on from all of this.. 

But I tell you it's hard.. Like I said before after 20 years I do feel institutionalized. It could be me that is just fvcking warped and having issues with being alone and I completely own it. But I also do just enjoy the company of a woman.. I feel complete when I am with someone. Lying down with someone in bed just holding them is just heaven.. Look even with my issues with the ExGF I can tell you I would hold her every night we were together.. 

Now I feel like I am missing arm, like something isn't right in my life.. 

Oh.. Forgot SMG15 was saying something.. Please continue on how the roofies worked and the date went.. 

Did she press charges ?
Did you just dump her in a dumpster and she woke up not remembering anything ?


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## AFallenAngel

SMG15 said:


> It doesn't matter now because I met someone else on friday and have another date on wednesday
> 
> It mattered a little on friday morning but I am over it now


If you are over it then why are we still having this discussion?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AliceA

If I didn't want to spend more time with a guy then no way would I suffer through a 1/2hr, whatever, walk with him. That said, I might like him enough that night but after sleeping on it and processing it all, I might decide he wasn't really for me. If he had such a huge reaction to going for a walk, he probably wouldn't be the guy for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cooper

Anyone ever read the book "The Sociopath Next Door" ? As I read these threads and the OP's responses I keep thinking "how can he not see the reasoning and logic?" How can he be so lacking in empathy, self awareness or social graces? Is he truly wired that differently than the rest of us or is he just screwing around because he's bored and looking to entertain himself? 

Probably both.


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## AFallenAngel

Cooper said:


> Anyone ever read the book "The Sociopath Next Door" ? As I read these threads and the OP's responses I keep thinking "how can he not see the reasoning and logic?" How can he be so lacking in empathy, self awareness or social graces? Is he truly wired that differently than the rest of us or is he just screwing around because he's bored and looking to entertain himself?
> 
> Probably both.


I can't believe how much attn this has gotten. Personally, I am done and hope that ppl see this for what it is. Either someone who just will not listen and has a distorted world view or perhaps a troll just trying to stir things up. Either way, I won't enable his abusive treatment to end up directed at me. Good luck OP. Hope you can find someone who wants a person like you. They really are out there believe it or not. I have learned a lot about ppl this last few years and have learned that for every personality, you can find entire groups of ppl that want just that. You will find someone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I Don't Know

turnera said:


> Oh, so it's OUR fault that you acted like a jerk?
> 
> Good to know your pattern. I'll bet you blame the girls if they don't put out, too?


Who else would he blame?


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## SMG15

Ok I will admit to everyone that I remembered what I talked about during our 11 block walk

Not sure why but I mentioned I was fired from a city job and I was discussing resumes I do for people at work

I know that is weird conversation for a date and I will not do that tonight at all.


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## turnera

If you're going on a date tonight, do this: Ask her about herself, what she likes to do, what's important to her, what her goals are, and look for ways in which you two have something in common.


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## SMG15

turnera said:


> If you're going on a date tonight, do this: Ask her about herself, what she likes to do, what's important to her, what her goals are, and look for ways in which you two have something in common.


Yes that is the plan.

nothing about work


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## Catherine602

The number of blocks is growing. 

Never discuss your problems too soon when you are attempting to get to know a woman. First, determine if you want to see the person again and then see how the relationship grows. At some point, you need reveal things about your life. Don't whine or complain about the bad, act like you are master of your fate. Actually, you are master.


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## Nynaeve

Tomorrow it will be the 50 block walk.

Troll troll troll-lol-lol gently down the stream...


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## Chuck71

SMG15 said:


> If a girl promise to have sex with me by a certain day and then backs out I would take her court


Yes OLD thread but OMFG! I used to talk to BSC people but this....... DAMN

Even a troll couldn't make this up. Has humanity really slid back this far?


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## phillybeffandswiss

LOL, go read the other threads and realize he's in his 30s. Yes, I know, I thought he was younger as well.


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## Chuck71

As pop used to say, "He couldn't get laid in a wh0rehouse with a fistful of $50s" *eyeroll*


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## 225985

phillybeffandswiss said:


> LOL, go read the other threads and realize he's in his 30s. Yes, I know, I thought he was younger as well.


He is at least mid to late 30s. Born before 1979.


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## Catherine602

OP I believe you said you have Asperger. If so, you need coaching to learn social skills. You seem high functioning so you should be able to pick up the skills easily, if you are willing.


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## Chuck71

Catherine602 said:


> OP I believe you said you have Asperger. If so, you need coaching to learn social skills. You seem high functioning so you should be able to pick up the skills easily, if you are willing.


ADD / ADHD definite. I see autistic actions as well. Course I have both.... kinda helps.

So he did say he had Aspergers?


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## NobodySpecial

Catherine602 said:


> OP I believe you said you have Asperger. If so, you need coaching to learn social skills. You seem high functioning so you should be able to pick up the skills easily, if you are willing.


He does not want to. He wants everyone in the world to conform to his notion of how things should be.


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## BetrayedDad

Chuck71 said:


> So he did say he had Aspergers?


I told him a while ago I suspected he had that and he got all butt hurt.

He's in denial about ALOT of things....


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## Catherine602

I'm not sure he stated that he was. There are many people in public life with Asperger's Syndrome. With training, it's not an impediment to successful social interactions.

Famous People with Asperger's Syndrome


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## WorkingWife

Ms. GP said:


> The fear of rape, death, and dismemberment by walking 8 blocks by myself after dark might make me ask someone to walk with me. But hey, that's just me!! Mabye she forgot to text you. She might be interested after all. Lighten up man!


She might also not have texted OP because she didn't want to appear clingy so quickly after meeting. It's hard to say.


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## Lukedog

SMG15 said:


> Listen we were in a busy lit up section of a big city at 8pm so I don't want to hear anything about her wanting to be safe
> 
> We were in a very low crime area which was very busy. The Times Square section of Philadelphia


I don't care if you were in the Park at high noon. The chivalrous thing to do was doing what you did. Maybe she could have called a cab...maybe cabs don't drive to where she lives...who knows. You make it sound like she owed you a BJ or something. How would you have felt if you found out she hadn't made it to the train and was instead abducted, raped, or even worse...killed?


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## Mr. Nail

SMG15 said:


> I hate dating


I have been very friendly to all of your questions. I have read much of what you have written. But this time you have let your frustration and angst run too Far.

It is obvious to all here that not only are you a voluntary participant in the Dating game, you work hard through many difficulties to continue to date these women. Also You Like doing things for them. 

You would gladly give this Girl a present that cost you your next meal, but you won't walk a mile to make her feel more comfortable? You need to stop taking yourself so seriously.
MN


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## SMG15

Catherine602 said:


> OP I believe you said you have Asperger. If so, you need coaching to learn social skills. You seem high functioning so you should be able to pick up the skills easily, if you are willing.


You got me confused with someone else
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mclane

SMG15 said:


> You got me confused with someone else


She's got you confused with one of the people who said you have Asperger's syndrome.


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## MrsAldi

Your date just wanted a romantic stroll to talk to you more! She sounded like she didn't want the date to end. 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Mclane

Or she was just being cautious and figured the devil you know is better than the one who might be lurking in the bushes.


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## MrsAldi

Mclane said:


> Or she was just being cautious and figured the devil you know is better than the one who might be lurking in the bushes.


Maybe, but I think @SMG15 is too busy thinking about his own needs, so he doesn't spot when a date is interested in him. I'm sure she's found someone else by now anyway. 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## richie33

Mclane said:


> She's got you confused with one of the people who said you have Asperger's syndrome.


More like 10.


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## Blondilocks

What was I thinking? Have successfully abstained from opening this thread until now and what do I get for my intrepidness - 24 pages of griping about a date that happened in July, 2015! Many, many responses trying to actually educate one so-called man on the intricacies of dating and getting idiotic statements in return.

Let this be a warning to all: If you have avoided a thread for some time, there is a reason for it. A damn good one.


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## SMG15

MrsAldi said:


> Maybe, but I think @SMG15 is too busy thinking about his own needs, so he doesn't spot when a date is interested in him. I'm sure she's found someone else by now anyway.
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


There is no need for me to walk a women anywhere if she doesn't want to see me again. Like I said it was early in the evening and we were in a very safe area of the city and she could have told me good night and went her separate way.


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## MrsAldi

SMG15 said:


> There is no need for me to walk a women anywhere if she doesn't want to see me again. Like I said it was early in the evening and we were in a very safe area of the city and she could have told me good night and went her separate way.


It's called being a gentleman! No place is ever safe enough. She probably didn't want to see you again because you could have been selfish. Love is give & take. 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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## Chuck71

MrsAldi said:


> It's called being a gentleman! No place is ever safe enough. She probably didn't want to see you again because you could have been selfish. Love is give & take.
> 
> Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


It seems the generation right after me is the WIIFM generation.

What's in it for me?

A random act of kindness without expectation of anything in return is unheard of to them.

Not all.... just some


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## MrsAldi

@Chuck71 I agree 100% with you there. 

Sent from my B1-730HD using Tapatalk


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