# Happy ending at massage parlour



## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

Hi Everyone! I am devastated and shattered at this point of time. I just found out last week that my Hubby of 8 months went to a sleazy massage place. I know it is sleazy as I went to investigate the place myself and my guy friend checked on the pricing for BJ, HJ and FJ. And they only serve regulars as it is illegal. So this was done all underground. We dated for 1.5 years and I caught him once during our 9 month Mark, and he kept denying it all the way eventhough I had his uber receipts to and from the massage place to his house but he sweared upon god and said it was a technical glitch. I forced him to call uber which he said was a huge hassle for a refund and they did refund him as well without any investigations. So I left it as it is. I have caught him in alot of lies and there is always a niggling feeling that something is not right in this relationship. I even suggested couple therapy as I do love him alot. He gets really angry during our fights and abuses me verbally and physically as well. But I still did not leave him as after that he would apologise and will be nice to me again. However, he knows its a deal breaker if he touches any woman or any woman touches him sexually. 

He confessed he went to the massage parlour again last week after drinking with his frens and I saw the uber receipts yet again. But this time he confessed he went there as well as the previous time too. He knows he lied to me. He claimed he went there only for a massage at 530am. Would any man go at that time jus for a normal massage? he also needs to pass our house to reach there. He could have come home and I would have massaged him!!! He said he went there and was knocked out as he was drunk. When I checked his phone, he was apparently sober enuf to book the uber 3 times but got rejected as there was no driver found and he managed to flag a cab down.

Now I'm doubting how many times he went there without me catching him. And I feel he's sorry only cuz he's caught. He did not immediately come and tell me until I started asking him. We have an active sex life and I do roleplays for him. I use cute sexy outfits and stockings. I watch porn with him and wank him off. I also give him BJ and massage with oil and HJ. I also roleplay like a massaue and I do it with LOVE. Why do u think he still pays for this kind of sexual massage when I am doing it at home for free and he knows it's cheating and a boundary is being crossed. 

I just dun understand and its not like I dun explore or spice up things in the bedroom. AND WE ARE MARRIED ONLY FOR 8 MONTHS. We do not have kids yet. I still do love him but I'm feeling very disgusted with the lies and sexual act and shattered that he broke our vows for this kind of paid cheap thrills. I'm very loyal to him also. He begged me for another chance. Should I give him another chance or should I divorce him? Any advice especially why he did it will be really appreciated. Thanks.


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## Sarah91 (Jul 30, 2021)

Gal_360 said:


> Hi Everyone! I am devastated and shattered at this point of time. I just found out last week that my Hubby of 8 months went to a sleazy massage place. I know it is sleazy as I went to investigate the place myself and my guy friend checked on the pricing for BJ, HJ and FJ. And they only serve regulars as it is illegal. So this was done all underground. We dated for 1.5 years and I caught him once during our 9 month Mark, and he kept denying it all the way eventhough I had his uber receipts to and from the massage place to his house but he sweared upon god and said it was a technical glitch. I forced him to call uber which he said was a huge hassle for a refund and they did refund him as well without any investigations. So I left it as it is. I have caught him in alot of lies and there is always a niggling feeling that something is not right in this relationship. I even suggested couple therapy as I do love him alot. He gets really angry during our fights and abuses me verbally and physically as well. But I still did not leave him as after that he would apologise and will be nice to me again. However, he knows its a deal breaker if he touches any woman or any woman touches him sexually.
> 
> He confessed he went to the massage parlour again last week after drinking with his frens and I saw the uber receipts yet again. But this time he confessed he went there as well as the previous time too. He knows he lied to me. He claimed he went there only for a massage at 530am. Would any man go at that time jus for a normal massage? he also needs to pass our house to reach there. He could have come home and I would have massaged him!!! He said he went there and was knocked out as he was drunk. When I checked his phone, he was apparently sober enuf to book the uber 3 times but got rejected as there was no driver found and he managed to flag a cab down.
> 
> ...


Hi, I’m sorry to hear what you had to go through. Have you asked him if this is something he’s been doingway before you met him? Also, what does he get out of doing so?
Cause I also caught my H flirting with other women online. And the reasons he gave was it was a habit since secondary school to flirt and that he gets a rush of emotions out of doing so. And just like you, we had no problems in the r/s. Everything was going just fine.
I am not in a position to suggest what you should do but to me anything physical is an ultimatum. But do think about the reasons he gives and if its worth fighting for. Cause for one, once you have a child, the decision you want to make will not be as easy. I sincerely hope you find a way to heal yourself from what has happened.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

@Gal_360 after only eight months? Looks like he never stopped acting like a single man.

Would an annulment be possible under your laws?

So sorry you are in this pickle.


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

Gal_360 said:


> Hi Everyone! I am devastated and shattered at this point of time. I just found out last week that my Hubby of 8 months went to a sleazy massage place. I know it is sleazy as I went to investigate the place myself and my guy friend checked on the pricing for BJ, HJ and FJ. And they only serve regulars as it is illegal. So this was done all underground. We dated for 1.5 years and I caught him once during our 9 month Mark, and he kept denying it all the way eventhough I had his uber receipts to and from the massage place to his house but he sweared upon god and said it was a technical glitch. I forced him to call uber which he said was a huge hassle for a refund and they did refund him as well without any investigations. So I left it as it is. I have caught him in alot of lies and there is always a niggling feeling that something is not right in this relationship. I even suggested couple therapy as I do love him alot. He gets really angry during our fights and abuses me verbally and physically as well. But I still did not leave him as after that he would apologise and will be nice to me again. However, he knows its a deal breaker if he touches any woman or any woman touches him sexually.
> 
> He confessed he went to the massage parlour again last week after drinking with his frens and I saw the uber receipts yet again. But this time he confessed he went there as well as the previous time too. He knows he lied to me. He claimed he went there only for a massage at 530am. Would any man go at that time jus for a normal massage? he also needs to pass our house to reach there. He could have come home and I would have massaged him!!! He said he went there and was knocked out as he was drunk. When I checked his phone, he was apparently sober enuf to book the uber 3 times but got rejected as there was no driver found and he managed to flag a cab down.
> 
> ...





Sarah91 said:


> Hi, I’m sorry to hear what you had to go through. Have you asked him if this is something he’s been doingway before you met him? Also, what does he get out of doing so?
> Cause I also caught my H flirting with other women online. And the reasons he gave was it was a habit since secondary school to flirt and that he gets a rush of emotions out of doing so. And just like you, we had no problems in the r/s. Everything was going just fine.
> I am not in a position to suggest what you should do but to me anything physical is an ultimatum. But do think about the reasons he gives and if its worth fighting for. Cause for one, once you have a child, the decision you want to make will not be as easy. I sincerely hope you find a way to heal yourself from what has happened.


Thanks Sarah. He said he only went once with w group for a massage at a place beside this dirty massage place. But even den I feel he's lying. Till now I gave him so many chances to just tell me the truth and stop lying to me. But he's keeping shut and sticking to the same story. I feel even more frustrated as I know he's lying and undermining my intelligence. Just stuck and thinking whether should I move on. We are separated now but I have not seen a lawyer yet. Did my first session of counselling today. Hopefully it will help with this trauma.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It's likely he has has done it many times and the fact that he cheats, lies and is also violently abusive and verbally abusive really doesn't give any reason I can see for you to stay. Sadly you ignored red flags and you ignored who he is. A liar, cheater and and abuser.
Is this really who you want as the father to your children????? I certainly wouldn't. Do you want then to see their dad being violent to their mum? Being verbally abusive? Visiting sleazy massage parlours? Lying? 
Please just end this sham of a marriage and find a decent guy you can trust and who will be faithful. It's not him that's for sure.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

So you knew who he was and married him anyway?

What did you expect?


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## No Longer Lonely Husband (Nov 3, 2015)

Gal_360 said:


> Thanks Sarah. He said he only went once with w group for a massage at a place beside this dirty massage place. But even den I feel he's lying. Till now I gave him so many chances to just tell me the truth and stop lying to me. But he's keeping shut and sticking to the same story. I feel even more frustrated as I know he's lying and undermining my intelligence. Just stuck and thinking whether should I move on. We are separated now but I have not seen a lawyer yet. Did my first session of counselling today. Hopefully it will help with this trauma.


My dear, you should not put up with this crap. He has shown you who he is.....believe him.
He has a problem, not you. Get yourself extricated from this situation as quickly as you are able.

Tell him you were born at night, but not last night. Don’t buy his lame bs


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Gal_360 said:


> Hi Everyone! I am devastated and shattered at this point of time. I just found out last week that my Hubby of 8 months went to a sleazy massage place. I know it is sleazy as I went to investigate the place myself and my guy friend checked on the pricing for BJ, HJ and FJ. And they only serve regulars as it is illegal. So this was done all underground. We dated for 1.5 years and I caught him once during our 9 month Mark, and he kept denying it all the way eventhough I had his uber receipts to and from the massage place to his house but he sweared upon god and said it was a technical glitch. I forced him to call uber which he said was a huge hassle for a refund and they did refund him as well without any investigations. So I left it as it is. I have caught him in alot of lies and there is always a niggling feeling that something is not right in this relationship. I even suggested couple therapy as I do love him alot. He gets really angry during our fights and abuses me verbally and physically as well. But I still did not leave him as after that he would apologise and will be nice to me again. However, he knows its a deal breaker if he touches any woman or any woman touches him sexually.
> 
> He confessed he went to the massage parlour again last week after drinking with his frens and I saw the uber receipts yet again. But this time he confessed he went there as well as the previous time too. He knows he lied to me. He claimed he went there only for a massage at 530am. Would any man go at that time jus for a normal massage? he also needs to pass our house to reach there. He could have come home and I would have massaged him!!! He said he went there and was knocked out as he was drunk. When I checked his phone, he was apparently sober enuf to book the uber 3 times but got rejected as there was no driver found and he managed to flag a cab down.
> 
> ...


this is the part I DO NOT LIKE AT ALL "
He gets really angry during our fights and abuses me verbally and physically as well. But I still did not leave him as after that he would apologise and will be nice to me again. However, he knows its a deal breaker if he touches any woman or any woman touches him sexually.
First it is very normal for a man like this that gets angry and abuses you verbally and physically to be twice as nice to their wife as it is part of their mind set , they try to make up for the bad things just to the point they flip again , they keep at it until the woman walks out or he kills her ,
the deal breaker should be the next time he is abusive to you and not if he goes to a brothel , 

if he is going to that house now what do you think he will be doing in 10 years time , he will only get worse


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Remember all abusers will say they are sorry and that they won't do it again. Of course they always do.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Remember all abusers will say they are sorry and that they won't do it again. Of course they always do.


 all cheaters say the same thing 
he said nothing only until he could not deny it


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## MEA (Jul 12, 2021)

Divorce him.
He is an abuser, a cheater, and could either wind up giving you a STD or killing you.
Then, get a very good counselor and find out why in God’s green Earth you would love and feel loyal to such a piece of garbage excuse of a person.


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## hinterdir (Apr 17, 2018)

Gal_360 said:


> Hi Everyone! I am devastated and shattered at this point of time. I just found out last week that my Hubby of 8 months went to a sleazy massage place. I know it is sleazy as I went to investigate the place myself and my guy friend checked on the pricing for BJ, HJ and FJ. And they only serve regulars as it is illegal. So this was done all underground. We dated for 1.5 years and I caught him once during our 9 month Mark, and he kept denying it all the way eventhough I had his uber receipts to and from the massage place to his house but he sweared upon god and said it was a technical glitch. I forced him to call uber which he said was a huge hassle for a refund and they did refund him as well without any investigations. So I left it as it is. I have caught him in alot of lies and there is always a niggling feeling that something is not right in this relationship. I even suggested couple therapy as I do love him alot. He gets really angry during our fights and abuses me verbally and physically as well. But I still did not leave him as after that he would apologise and will be nice to me again. However, he knows its a deal breaker if he touches any woman or any woman touches him sexually.
> 
> He confessed he went to the massage parlour again last week after drinking with his frens and I saw the uber receipts yet again. But this time he confessed he went there as well as the previous time too. He knows he lied to me. He claimed he went there only for a massage at 530am. Would any man go at that time jus for a normal massage? he also needs to pass our house to reach there. He could have come home and I would have massaged him!!! He said he went there and was knocked out as he was drunk. When I checked his phone, he was apparently sober enuf to book the uber 3 times but got rejected as there was no driver found and he managed to flag a cab down.
> 
> ...


Get out now.
Get out now.
Get out now.

You will have a miserable life if you do not juat cut him 100% out of your life.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

You’ve only been married for eight months? Lots of lies and second chances already? Move on and don’t look back.


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## coquille (May 8, 2018)

Sorry you're here. Don't give him another chance. File for divorce and run for your life. He is a cheater and he physically and verbally abuses you, and you're still loyal to him? You need to get out of this mess first, and then start seeking therapy to find out why you tolerated so much c*** from this guy. Why do you love him more than you love yourself? He's been going to this massage parlor all the time throughout your relationship and your marriage. Don't believe a word he says because he lies to you and doesn't respect you. Just divorce and don't have sex with him anymore.


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## Willnotbill (May 13, 2021)

When I read your post I think the massage parlor is the least of your issues. If you are being verbally and physically abused then you should seek help immeadiately. Nobody, woman or man, needs to be abused especially physically in a relationship. Its one of those things that doesn't usually get better. If you don't have a friend or relative you can call for help there should be a group in your area to call for help. If you can't find then you should be able to get their name and number from a local hospital or police agency.


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

Thank you everyone for all ur comments. I have been really stupid. But this was a real wake up call. As you all mentioned, the more pressing issue was the physical and verbal issues. But since I'm abused from young that seems normal to me and the HJ n BJ part was too much for me. But overall, I was just cheated, manipulated, gas lighted and lied too. I would continue my therapy and divorce this liar. Right now, it's too painful to bear but I do believe with time I would be a confident girl again. Thank you all...


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

It's very likely this guy will not quit going to these places. At my old workplace, a lot of the guys there were addicted to massage parlors like this. They called themselves mongers. They would come to work and talk about any new massage places opening up and which ones were closing since they seem to get shut down by law enforcement a lot. The insurance at that job paid so much money towards massage each year so guys were getting it at a discount. The wives never knew.


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

Enigma32 said:


> It's very likely this guy will not quit going to these places. At my old workplace, a lot of the guys there were addicted to massage parlors like this. They called themselves mongers. They would come to work and talk about any new massage places opening up and which ones were closing since they seem to get shut down by law enforcement a lot. The insurance at that job paid so much money towards massage each year so guys were getting it at a discount. The wives never knew.


Thank you Enigma. Yes that's another thing that was weighing heavily on my mind. Even if I forgive again, the chances of him gg is very high. He is very apologetic and remorseful and said he wud put the tracker app in my phone so I can track his every whereabouts in the future. He swear again he will not do it. But I told him it wun work. I can't be in such a relationship without any trust at all especially with his history of lies.. N he's already used to getting paid sexual fulfillment even though it's not outright sex. He feels he's being truthful and does not want me to give up on this relationship so fast. But to me, u did not completely tell me the truth immediately and was remorseful. U only told me cuz u know I totally find out and this time lying that its a technical issue will not work. I think I'm done. I'm gonna wait till I complete my counselling sessions and decide this as well. Thank u..


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Please remember that he is also a dangerous violent abuser and that can often get worse. What sort of things does he do to you?


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> Please remember that he is also a dangerous violent abuser and that can often get worse. What sort of things does he do to you?


 he has strangled me leaving bruise marks. Slapped me even in public. Punch n pinch me. Twisting my arms. N covering my mouth totally with alot of force so I wun shout for help. N until I said I'm breathless den he let's go. After all these he will cry soo much and say he has nvr done this to any of his exes only O bring out the worst in him. N den he will apologise and hug me so tite and keep saying sorry. But only recently at family gathering I found out one of his ex cheated on him n he has slapped her before. But before that he kept telling me he nvr raised his hands at woman. Only me he did all this.


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

The last he told me, I shudnt give him a chance. It will not work out well. His exes cheated and he did give chance but they did the same thing. So he was crying n said he understands how I feel. My thoughts are, if u know how painful it is for someone den y do it? Especially when u promise me u will nvr do it. Ok fine u went once before the marriage. N maybe to marry me u lied n kept quiet about it. But now after saying all the vows isn't it time for u to be faithful and do all these with me only. At least if I dun satisfy ur fetishes u still have an excuse but honestly I do.. why else would u go to this kind of place. Pay them as well and waste money too? It really confuses me. Like what am I missing here?


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

lifeistooshort said:


> So you knew who he was and married him anyway?
> 
> What did you expect?


Yes.. stupidity. Blinded by love and listened to all his promises. All the red flags was there. I agree I was dump.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

He has been physically abusing you. Are you able to leave safely and stay with family or friends? If not can you get to a cell phone to call the police to have the escort you out of the house to safety?

Be careful that he may be monitoring your phone / computer and know you are posting here, so don't delay

His physical abuse is not at all normal. Its felony assault, and not something that ever happens in a normal relationship. He is an abuser and will continue to abuse you. 

Please reach out to friends, family or police and get out of there. 

Please get out of physical danger.


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

uhtred said:


> He has been physically abusing you. Are you able to leave safely and stay with family or friends? If not can you get to a cell phone to call the police to have the escort you out of the house to safety?
> 
> Be careful that he may be monitoring your phone / computer and know you are posting here, so don't delay
> 
> ...


Hes already out of the house now and my siblings have moved in. So I'm pretty sure he wun dare to raise his hands now on me. My parents got to know this now and are very upset with him as well. I doubt he can do anything to hurt me with my family by my side. Thanks Uhtred..


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Gal_360 said:


> Hes already out of the house now and my siblings have moved in. So I'm pretty sure he wun dare to raise his hands now on me. My parents got to know this now and are very upset with him as well. I doubt he can do anything to hurt me with my family by my side. Thanks Uhtred..


That's good, you seem safe now. He is a dangerous wife beater, you could have ended up in hospital or worse.
He has NO excuse for his cheating either, no matter what you do or don't do in bed. 
Please get legal advise and end your marriage to this awful man. Then please get some counselling to help you get emotionally healthier so that you don't choose another abuser/cheater. His abuse is appalling, no he isn't sorry, if he was he wouldn't keep doing it and no, it's not you who makes him do it, it's just a poor excuse for his appalling behaviour.


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

Diana7 said:


> That's good, you seem safe now. He is a dangerous wife beater, you could have ended up in hospital or worse.
> He has NO excuse for his cheating either, no matter what you do or don't do in bed.
> Please get legal advise and end your marriage to this awful man. Then please get some counselling to help you get emotionally healthier so that you don't choose another abuser/cheater. His abuse is appalling, no he isn't sorry, if he was he wouldn't keep doing it and no, it's not you who makes him do it, it's just a poor excuse for his appalling behaviour.


Thank you Diana. Yes. I hope to get out of this emotional roller coaster. Thank you everyone..


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Gal_360 said:


> he has strangled me leaving bruise marks. Slapped me even in public. Punch n pinch me. Twisting my arms. N covering my mouth totally with alot of force so I wun shout for help. N until I said I'm breathless den he let's go. After all these he will cry soo much and say he has nvr done this to any of his exes only O bring out the worst in him. N den he will apologise and hug me so tite and keep saying sorry. But only recently at family gathering I found out one of his ex cheated on him n he has slapped her before. But before that he kept telling me he nvr raised his hands at woman. Only me he did all this.


Damn. Freaking RUN.


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## phantom44 (Apr 20, 2020)

Just so you know, I'm a man and grew up with a mother and sister......no father around. I have never touched a woman in anger my whole life. You deserve better!!!!!


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

Crocodile tears, don’t be sad for him. Glad you got out quick!


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Gal_360 said:


> Hes already out of the house now and my siblings have moved in. So I'm pretty sure he wun dare to raise his hands now on me. My parents got to know this now and are very upset with him as well. I doubt he can do anything to hurt me with my family by my side. Thanks Uhtred..


I'm very glad to hear that. 

You have every right to press charges for the physical abuse if you want to. That is a much more straightforward and legally serious issue to pursue than the cheating. Talk to an attorney, it may also give you leverage in a divorce.

He deserves to be in prison.


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## uwe.blab (May 2, 2019)

Gal_360 said:


> Hi Everyone! I am devastated and shattered at this point of time. I just found out last week that my Hubby of 8 months went to a sleazy massage place. I know it is sleazy as I went to investigate the place myself and my guy friend checked on the pricing for BJ, HJ and FJ. And they only serve regulars as it is illegal. So this was done all underground. We dated for 1.5 years and I caught him once during our 9 month Mark, and he kept denying it all the way eventhough I had his uber receipts to and from the massage place to his house but he sweared upon god and said it was a technical glitch. I forced him to call uber which he said was a huge hassle for a refund and they did refund him as well without any investigations. So I left it as it is. I have caught him in alot of lies and there is always a niggling feeling that something is not right in this relationship. I even suggested couple therapy as I do love him alot. He gets really angry during our fights and abuses me verbally and physically as well. But I still did not leave him as after that he would apologise and will be nice to me again. However, he knows its a deal breaker if he touches any woman or any woman touches him sexually.
> 
> He confessed he went to the massage parlour again last week after drinking with his frens and I saw the uber receipts yet again. But this time he confessed he went there as well as the previous time too. He knows he lied to me. He claimed he went there only for a massage at 530am. Would any man go at that time jus for a normal massage? he also needs to pass our house to reach there. He could have come home and I would have massaged him!!! He said he went there and was knocked out as he was drunk. When I checked his phone, he was apparently sober enuf to book the uber 3 times but got rejected as there was no driver found and he managed to flag a cab down.
> 
> ...


Do the words "sex traficking" mean anything to you? I worry more about the women at this facility, likely against their will, than you or your husband. 

But, yes, your husband is sleazy.


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## CountryMike (Jun 1, 2021)

uwe.blab said:


> Do the words "sex traficking" mean anything to you? I worry more about the women at this facility, likely against their will, than you or your husband.
> 
> But, yes, your husband is sleazy.


How much do you worry about those specific women, really? How much money and time have you spent going there to help them?

This thread is about the OP struggling in her M. Stay on target.


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

Thanks everyone. I am safe now. But he's apologising everyday and then says I should forgive him and move on. Its already done. So the only thing we can do is move on. He still claims he went to the massage place at 530am drunk but he went there to sleep and he didn't do anything or any gal touched him sexually. He says I only have proof of him gg there. But no proof that he got the sexual services. Which is true. So he's telling me to accept him based on his words n that he loves me and he will quit drinking. Cuz when he drink only den he wants to do all these. I'm soo stressed!!!


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Wow. You have an abusive chronic liar and cheater there. You really need to sort out why you think you love someone like that! He's horrible! He now knows you'll stay and put up with it, so that's why he hardly bothers to even conceal it anymore. He'll only get worse. I sure hope you're on birth control so you can walk away from this and not bring a kid into it. You need to be mature about this and stop saying "I love him," because that makes zero sense! Have some standards and self-respect for yourself and get better out of life and don't let people like this stay in your life polluting it!


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## Gal_360 (Jul 31, 2021)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Wow. You have an abusive chronic liar and cheater there. You really need to sort out why you think you love someone like that! He's horrible! He now knows you'll stay and put up with it, so that's why he hardly bothers to even conceal it anymore. He'll only get worse. I sure hope you're on birth control so you can walk away from this and not bring a kid into it. You need to be mature about this and stop saying "I love him," because that makes zero sense! Have some standards and self-respect for yourself and get better out of life and don't let people like this stay in your life polluting it!


Thank you... both sides of the family got to know about this now. N his side is telling me to give one more chance to him. My side is telling me the decision lies on me n they will fully support me. I'm like on a fence. I duno why I'm still feeling caught in between n thinking wud he totally change if I give him one more chance. I'm scared of leaving as well. His side is promising me he will nvr do this. But there is no guarantee. N he himself is saying I shud trust him. But all I hv gotten till now is he claims he went there to sleep only. How to believe that? Sigh. Jus tired with my life already.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Gal_360 said:


> The last he told me, I shudnt give him a chance. It will not work out well. His exes cheated and he did give chance but they did the same thing. So he was crying n said he understands how I feel. My thoughts are, if u know how painful it is for someone den y do it? Especially when u promise me u will nvr do it. Ok fine u went once before the marriage. N maybe to marry me u lied n kept quiet about it. But now after saying all the vows isn't it time for u to be faithful and do all these with me only. At least if I dun satisfy ur fetishes u still have an excuse but honestly I do.. why else would u go to this kind of place. Pay them as well and waste money too? It really confuses me. Like what am I missing here?


If he has sympathy for himself but not empathy for you, that's either narcissistic or sociopathic, neither of which feel sorry for anyone but themselves.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Gal_360 said:


> Thank you... both sides of the family got to know about this now. N his side is telling me to give one more chance to him. My side is telling me the decision lies on me n they will fully support me. I'm like on a fence. I duno why I'm still feeling caught in between n thinking wud he totally change if I give him one more chance. I'm scared of leaving as well. His side is promising me he will nvr do this. But there is no guarantee. N he himself is saying I shud trust him. But all I hv gotten till now is he claims he went there to sleep only. How to believe that? Sigh. Jus tired with my life already.


His side doesn't want him back, probably, knowing what a pain he is. 

He will NEVER get better. He will only get worse. He has no reason to get better. He doesn't care enough about you or probably anyone but himself to do what they want him to do instead of what he wants to do, or he'd been doing it right along. He has bad ethics, bad habits, and probably bad psychology. You put up with it, and he will take advantage of that for as long as that lasts. And ALL abusers cry and apologize and say it will never happen again -- but it always does and next time is worse. You've got to face reality. You made a mistake marrying him and surely can do better.


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## Skookaroo (Jul 12, 2021)

Someone else touching him sexually is a dealbreaker but physical abuse isn’t?? Please get your priorities right. He is an abuser and a sex addict. He will only cause you more pain. It’s time to get out.


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## ivodonchev7 (1 mo ago)

Gal_360 said:


> Hi Everyone! I am devastated and shattered at this point of time. I just found out last week that my Hubby of 8 months went to a sleazy massage place. I know it is sleazy as I went to investigate the place myself and my guy friend checked on the pricing for BJ, HJ and FJ. And they only serve regulars as it is illegal. So this was done all underground. We dated for 1.5 years and I caught him once during our 9 month Mark, and he kept denying it all the way eventhough I had his uber receipts to and from the massage place to his house but he sweared upon god and said it was a technical glitch. I forced him to call uber which he said was a huge hassle for a refund and they did refund him as well without any investigations. So I left it as it is. I have caught him in alot of lies and there is always a niggling feeling that something is not right in this relationship. I even suggested couple therapy as I do love him alot. He gets really angry during our fights and abuses me verbally and physically as well. But I still did not leave him as after that he would apologise and will be nice to me again. However, he knows its a deal breaker if he touches any woman or any woman touches him sexually. He confessed he went to the massage parlour again last week after drinking with his frens and I saw the uber receipts yet again. But this time he confessed he went there as well as the previous time too. He knows he lied to me. He claimed he went there only for a massage at 530am. Would any man go at that time jus for a normal massage? he also needs to pass our house to reach there. He could have come home and I would have massaged him!!! He said he went there and was knocked out as he was drunk. When I checked his phone, he was apparently sober enuf to book the uber 3 times but got rejected as there was no driver found and he managed to flag a cab down. Now I'm doubting how many times he went there without me catching him. And I feel he's sorry only cuz he's caught. He did not immediately come and tell me until I started asking him. We have an active sex life and I do roleplays for him. I use cute sexy outfits and stockings. I watch porn with him and wank him off. I also give him BJ and massage with oil and HJ. I also roleplay like a massaue and I do it with LOVE. Why do u think he still pays for this kind of sexual massage when I am doing it at home for free and he knows it's cheating and a boundary is being crossed. I just dun understand and its not like I dun explore or spice up things in the bedroom. AND WE ARE MARRIED ONLY FOR 8 MONTHS. We do not have kids yet. I still do love him but I'm feeling very disgusted with the lies and sexual act and shattered that he broke our vows for this kind of paid cheap thrills. I'm very loyal to him also. He begged me for another chance. Should I give him another chance or should I divorce him? Any advice especially why he did it will be really appreciated. Thanks.


 Your man hasnt grown enough. He needs more experience in life. To marry someone to me means I've dated enough to choose you amongs the others. I've seen enough, I has my share and I also think youre good enough for me. I dont need someone more pretty or with softer hands to enhance my fragile ego. You are enough and I love you. When you sense this sort of declaration then this is a sighn that you found your man. All the rest is beautiful illusion, sick love, halucionation. Divorce is horrible word. Give freedom. Be generous enough to allow his freedom and yours too. He is not resourseful enough, neither strong enough to be your guy, not to mention loyalty. Ultimately he failed on all three key aspects. Why would you compromise with yourself right?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

"Oh, it's another Zombie Thread," said Zombie Cat. Who then did his business. No, not *that* business! Good grief! 🤣


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