# Hi, i am new here. im looking for a community that can understand my situation. i don't have someone to talk about this. So, I looked for a forums.



## cyreal

WHY PEOPLE ARE SO INSENSITIVE?

Last night, I decided to cook dinner. I texted my husband at 4 Pm not to bring cooked food. 2 hrs. later, my husband texted me that he will be late because his colleague will treat them for a dinner. Our dinner was ready when he texted me. So, I felt it was just a waste of money and time. My husband and his colleagues went out for a dinner and watched a horror movie at the cinema. I know he is having fun, and that’s nice to hear. But my heart was broken because, after they went out, he and his colleague are chatting while we were in bed. And I find it so disrespectful. Why do they need to chat and check if he already arrived home? Why does she care for him like that? Why are they chatting as if he is single? Is he doing it on purpose or he is just so insensitive? I can’t help what I am feeling so I stood out of bed and went to our PC scrolled on Facebook and saw a picture of them at the cinema as if they were having a double date (awe, that’s sweet!). I confronted my husband but he never responded and I felt that he just invalidated my feelings. He went to sleep and I went out of our room and just did my wooden boards while crying so hard.

How can someone be so insensitive? I want to scream but I can’t. I want someone to hear me but I don’t have someone to talk to. I guess my husband after all doesn’t see me as his lover and his best friend. I guess the definition of marriage is different for every individual after all.

I didn’t have a good sleep; I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to have a feeling of jealousy, but I think, a woman can’t be jealous if her man doesn’t give her a reason.


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## Spoons027

Where there's smoke, there's fire. 

You're feeling this way because you are validly feeling like your husband's just looking right through you while he gets attention from a coworker. Could be nothing, but if their exchanges are a lot closer than work or simple pleasantries, you're gonna have a big problem.


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## Jimi007

Was your husband with another woman in the photo ? Or just a work colleague ( male )


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## frenchpaddy

cyreal said:


> My husband and his colleagues went out for a dinner and watched a horror movie at the cinema.


not normal on a Thursday night , his colleagues must not have boy friends or girlfriends to go home to , I have never known of work colleagues going to see a movie together ,as it is not a place to chat in if they are only work colleagues,


cyreal said:


> after they went out, he and his colleague are chatting while we were in bed.


chatting when in bed are they lovers ,but this is how two lovers carrier on not co-workers.


cyreal said:


> Why does she care for him like that?





cyreal said:


> Why are they chatting as if he is single?


 did you stay very quite while they were chatting or did you talk to her as well one letting her know you were there and two marking your territory 


cyreal said:


> Is he doing it on purpose or he is just so insensitive?


he is insensitive and is smitten by this woman , and thinks if he is doing it your your nose you will think there is nothing going on 


cyreal said:


> went to our PC scrolled on Facebook and saw a picture of them at the cinema as if they were having a double date (awe, that’s sweet!).


I would have posted a response


cyreal said:


> I confronted my husband but he never responded and I felt that he just invalidated my feelings. He went to sleep and I went out of our room and just did my wooden boards while crying so hard.





cyreal said:


> How can someone be so insensitive? I want to scream but I can’t. I want someone to hear me but I don’t have someone to talk to. I guess my husband after all doesn’t see me as his lover and his best friend.


he does not love you and he is cheating , 
on the photo letting them know his dinner was ready at home and that he stud you up


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## frenchpaddy

cyreal said:


> Why does she care for him like that?





Jimi007 said:


> Was your husband with another woman in the photo ? Or just a work colleague ( male )


 it is in the post


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## cyreal

cyreal said:


> WHY PEOPLE ARE SO INSENSITIVE?
> 
> Last night, I decided to cook dinner. I texted my husband at 4 Pm not to bring cooked food. 2 hrs. later, my husband texted me that he will be late because his colleague will treat them for a dinner. Our dinner was ready when he texted me. So, I felt it was just a waste of money and time. My husband and his colleagues went out for a dinner and watched a horror movie at the cinema. I know he is having fun, and that’s nice to hear. But my heart was broken because, after they went out, he and his colleague are chatting while we were in bed. And I find it so disrespectful. Why do they need to chat and check if he already arrived home? Why does she care for him like that? Why are they chatting as if he is single? Is he doing it on purpose or he is just so insensitive? I can’t help what I am feeling so I stood out of bed and went to our PC scrolled on Facebook and saw a picture of them at the cinema as if they were having a double date (awe, that’s sweet!). I confronted my husband but he never responded and I felt that he just invalidated my feelings. He went to sleep and I went out of our room and just did my wooden boards while crying so hard.
> 
> How can someone be so insensitive? I want to scream but I can’t. I want someone to hear me but I don’t have someone to talk to. I guess my husband after all doesn’t see me as his lover and his best friend. I guess the definition of marriage is different for every individual after all.
> 
> I didn’t have a good sleep; I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to have a feeling of jealousy, but I think, a woman can’t be jealous if her man doesn’t give her a reason.


yes they have photo together, two women and two men.


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## cyreal

Jimi007 said:


> Was your husband with another woman in the photo ? Or just a work colleague ( male )


they were two males and two females


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## frenchpaddy

first I would post on facebook that you had dinner ready and that he stud you up letting them know he has other responsibilities, their post on facebook is a clear mark of disrespect , 

Many say up to 50% of people have sex at some time at work ,
I would not be suprised if your husband is one of these type men , 
If he is not cheating he is not far 
and the woman that phoned him to know if he got home is ready to drop her panties for him if she has not done so before now, 

Facebook is full of make believe happy life's it is time to show the world the other side


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## LeGenDary_Man

cyreal said:


> WHY PEOPLE ARE SO INSENSITIVE?
> 
> Last night, I decided to cook dinner. I texted my husband at 4 Pm not to bring cooked food. 2 hrs. later, my husband texted me that he will be late because his colleague will treat them for a dinner. Our dinner was ready when he texted me. So, I felt it was just a waste of money and time. My husband and his colleagues went out for a dinner and watched a horror movie at the cinema. I know he is having fun, and that’s nice to hear. But my heart was broken because, after they went out, he and his colleague are chatting while we were in bed. And I find it so disrespectful. Why do they need to chat and check if he already arrived home? Why does she care for him like that? Why are they chatting as if he is single? Is he doing it on purpose or he is just so insensitive? I can’t help what I am feeling so I stood out of bed and went to our PC scrolled on Facebook and saw a picture of them at the cinema as if they were having a double date (awe, that’s sweet!). I confronted my husband but he never responded and I felt that he just invalidated my feelings. He went to sleep and I went out of our room and just did my wooden boards while crying so hard.
> 
> How can someone be so insensitive? I want to scream but I can’t. I want someone to hear me but I don’t have someone to talk to. I guess my husband after all doesn’t see me as his lover and his best friend. I guess the definition of marriage is different for every individual after all.
> 
> I didn’t have a good sleep; I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to have a feeling of jealousy, but I think, a woman can’t be jealous if her man doesn’t give her a reason.


OK. About time you flex your wifey muscles and teach your bad boy something about marriage.

You need to put your foot down and define some marital boundaries for your husband.

*Boundary # 1:* Honey, when I cook a meal for you at home, you need to come home and eat it like a "good boy."

If you disrespect my time and effort put into cooking meals for you at home, you are welcome to cook your own meal(s) at home then. I will wait for you to apologize.

*Boundary # 2:* Honey, you are allowed to go out on dates and watch movies in cinema with ME - your wife.

If you do this with a female colleague, you will NOT be sleeping in [our] bed but on the couch. Your interactions with your colleagues are supposed to be professional. Your time after office hours belong to ME - your wife.

No _ifs_ and _buts_.

Be calm, composed and firm while conveying these boundaries to him.

Give him some "consequences" for how he seems to treat you.


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## Lostinthought61

Sadly your marriage is in trouble, first and foremost your husband does not respect you, your time and your feelings. May i ask how long you both have been married? Now as for the dinner and movie out with colleagues without even including you nor getting a hold of you early on before you started dinner is also a demostration of disrepect....is he having an affair or on the road to an affair i can't be sure but something you can be sure of is that he never considered your feelings in any of this. Let me ask you this, sometimes men are to dense to see their own actions and you need to demostrate how really insensitive they are, what would happen if he came home and found no dinner for him, you out with friends and coming home late how would he take it? I know this falls in the camp of passive agressive behavior but showing how he is treating you and hurting you might be better than telling him....it might be the spark you both need to start a honest dialogue between each other.


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## D0nnivain

Your husband is not insensitive. He is outright rude. 

I have bad news for you. He went on a double date last night. No married man goes on a last minute out to dinner & a movie with work colleagues. The minute you said you were making dinner is butt should have been home with you. 

For him to carry on chatting with these people shows they have a higher priority to him then you do. 

Your marriage needs help now or it needs to end. .


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## elliblue

I assume your husband already checked out off your marriage. That is why he went to sleep.
He is in love with one of the co-workers for sure.

He is full off himself and emotionally (b)locks you out to protect his growing relarionahip with his co-worker. 

If I was you, I'd pack my things and go.
He is testing the waters with an other woman infront of you. He doesn't even put much effort into hiding it from you. Chances are great, he'll dump you once he is certain he can be with the other woman.

I am concerned he isn't looking for an affair. He is looking for a replacement. 

From what I read your feelings seem absolutely valid. But It isn't about lack of respect. It is about your relationship being in big, big trouble.


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## Evinrude58

Don’t pack your things and go, however. He needs to be the one packing. Yes he’s dating a coworker, nothing cute about it. See a divorce attorney. No way should you tolerate this.


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## Marc878

Go online and check your phone bill for his data on texts and calls.


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## frenchpaddy

how is your relationship apart from this , and how is your sex life ???? 

It looks like he is blackmailing you trying to make to jealous or he is just stupid how much damage he did last night


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## Bulfrog1987

In his silence maybe he actually VALIDATED exactly what you’re feeling. Unfortunately.


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## MissBlue

unfortunately he’s just not that into you. Time to cut your losses before it gets worse and you have kids plus you lose your youth. You can still find happiness with someone else


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## Leeame

Bulfrog1987 said:


> In his silence maybe he actually VALIDATED exactly what you’re feeling. Unfortunately.


Yes. Sometimes getting no response is the loudest reply you can get


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