# Commonly hrd cheater phrses & their translation



## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore......

Trans.: 1. I think I might have loved you in the past, but I'm f'ing somebody else and don't give a flying f*** about you anymore.

2. alternative meaning.. I think you're a loser, you repulse me, and I'm running off with my cyberspace crush.

I'm confused.....

I don't know how much of your money I'm going to get, but just as soon as I figure out how to screw you financially so that you have to finance me banging the other person for an indefinite period, I'm leaving your stupid arse.

We never had sex......

LOL, I'm trying this phrase to see how stupid you are, how weak you are, how serious you are about kicking me to the curb, and now I'm praying you don't find out about the pictures I sent, videos we made in bed, and sexts on my other phone.

It only happened once......

It only happened once, every day except Friday (it happened 3 times then), and then once every day thereafter as long as I can remember.

I've got several more that I was told. I'm sure these have been translated before, but thought a nice list might be helpful to people who are just finding out about infidelity. They can then see that what their spouse is telling them, is the same crap we've all heard before and what the truth is behind it from a perspective of hindsight.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

"It's not you, it's me."

Translation: "It's you."

"I think we should spend some time apart."

Translation: "my **** buddy wants a weekend away."

"The sex didn't mean anything."

Translation: "the sex was ****ing awesome."

"I would never hurt you by cheating on you.l

Translation: "I wasn't thinking about how it would hurt you to have sex with someone else, I was distracted by the sex with someone else part."

"You don't trust me."

Translation: "it's still going on, stop making this hard."

I could go on for days.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

In my case it was only 1 time and there wasn't sex. (sexual activity yes, but not intercourse). And it only lasted about a minute before I stopped. And this is the Gods honest truth. I did lie to my husband about this initially and tell him it was just a kiss. But when he threatened that my marriage would be ending and I had nothing left to lose, I came 100% clean with him. 

But one I would add would be “I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you”

Translation: I don’t want you to find out what I did because what I did was too bad and I know you’ll leave me and I’m too much of a coward to own my **** and admit what I did” 

Yes, I did the above too. I did think I was “saving” his feelings. But later came to realize, I was just too much of a coward to own my ****. I protected myself instead of protecting him.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

JH, your inner Bill Clinton is showing. Don't minimize your actions, especially when you are making such progress.


And I'll add: 

"Under no circumstances am I having an affair."

Translation: I'm having lots of affairs.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"I just need a little space"... (so my new boyfriend can ride me like a stolen mule). 

"There are things I want to do with my life" (his name is Raul and he's richer and/or better looking than you).


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

I’m not minimizing my actions. My response was in response to:

It only happened once......

It only happened once, every day except Friday (it happened 3 times then), and then once every day thereafter as long as I can remember.

And 

We never had sex......

LOL, I'm trying this phrase to see how stupid you are, how weak you are, how serious you are about kicking me to the curb, and now I'm praying you don't find out about the pictures I sent, videos we made in bed, and sexts on my other phone.

Because in my case, it WAS only once and it wasn’t intercourse. 

I WILL admit that I did tell my husband several times I didn’t have sex with him. Which IS true, but I told him I didn’t have sex with him because saying I didn’t would throw him off the path of asking what kind of sexual activity happened. If I could throw him off the sexual path, he could believe my lie that I only kissed him. If I threw him off the sexual path, he wouldn’t think to ask about a BJ, so I could effectively hide what I did and “save” my marriage.

I hate putting that **** into writing.


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

1) We took each other for granted:

Translation... I'm tired of the same ole same ole:

2) I wasn't looking to have an A

Translation... I just caught a whiff & jumped on it like a tic on a dog:

3) I never stopped Loving you:

Translation... I just thought it would be nice to have a girlfriend too:

Bla!! Bla! Bla!


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

unbelievable said:


> "I just need a little space"... (so my new boyfriend can ride me like a stolen mule).
> 
> "There are things I want to do with my life" (his name is Raul and he's richer and/or better looking than you).


Lol That first one cracked me up...


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

"How dare you invade my privacy!"

Translation: "Uh oh, what did you find out?"

(After d-day) "How could you make our kids come from a broken home by divorcing me after I cheated?"

Translation: "Don't take half our money and stuff."

"That's all we did, I swear!"

Translation: "Please stop asking, if you find out more you'll leave for sure!"

"I'm really sorry I did this to you!"

Translation: "I'm really sorry I got caught!"

"I'll never do it again!"

Translation: "I've learned my lesson and will cover my tracks better!"

"How did you find out?"

Translation: "Which one did you find out about?"


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

marduk said:


> "How dare you invade my privacy!"
> 
> Translation: "Uh oh, what did you find out?"
> 
> ...


your on a roll, lol Don't get me started. I could go for days... >


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

"The sex was awful!"

Translation: "The sex was the best I've ever had!"

"Of course we didn't do that thing I always said no to you about."

Translation: "We did it the first time and it was fantastic. And that's just the tip of the kinky iceberg!"

"I want to make this better!"

Translation: "I don't have my exit strategy sorted out yet, hang on a few months while I find another person or hide the money!"

"It only happened once!"

Translation: "You only found out about the one affair, right?"

"Think of the kids!"

Translation: "Seriously, think of the kids. Can you watch them while I'm with the other person?"

"I would never do that to you."

Translation: "I totally enjoyed doing that to you."


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

"The other person seduced me!"

Translation: "I chased them until they gave in!"

"It just happened!"

Translation: "I've been planning it for months!"

"I didn't mean for it to happen!"

Translation: "I didn't mean to get caught!"

"I'm not that kind of girl/guy!"

Translation: "I'm totally that kind of girl/guy!"

"You can trust me!"

Translation: "I wouldn't trust me!"

"It's your baby!"

Translation: "I hope it's your baby!"

"You weren't paying attention to me!"

Translation: "Thanks, that made it easier to get away with it until now!"

"I haven't been happy for a long time!"

Translation: "I'm sure not happy now that I got caught!"

"I'm confused!"

Translation: "I'm confused about how I'm going to get away with it now!"


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

"I ended the affair because I love you and I couldn't let it go on any more!"

Translation: "He/she totally dumped me!"

"I want to make our marriage work!"

Translation: "He/she went back to their marriage!"

"I wasn't getting in shape and dressing sexier for them, I wanted you to notice me!"

Translation: "I totally wanted them to notice me!"

Men: "It was just emotionless sex."

Translation: "I totally fell for her."

Women: "It was just an emotional connection."

Translation: "I wanted to **** his brains out, so I did."

"I never had sex with you right after I had sex with the other person."

Translation: "I totally have no idea how you didn't notice."

"We always had protected sex."

Translation: "... By which I mean we locked the door."


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

marduk said:


> "The other person seduced me!"
> 
> Translation: "I chased them until they gave in!"
> 
> ...


I wasn't happy for a long time.....

Alternative Trans. I had gripes I never told you about, but now that my affair partner has educated me on just what a bad spouse you were; I feel like not only were you not perfect, but it was all your effing fault that I cheated. Get down on your knees and beg me for forgiveness while I text my twitter crush and let them know when
we're screwing again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"He's just a friend". (who pulls me out of my knickers every chance he gets).


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

Here's a few for after d-day...

1)I felt guilty the whole time:

meaning... I was scared I would get caught.

2) I'm glad it's over:

I was getting tired of her & didn't know how to get rid of her.

3) I don't know how I let it go that far:

I can't believe we got away with it that long.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

We just talked about life and stuff, just day to day stuff

Translation: We talked about our old relationship and the sex we used to have and how we never should've broken up. 

I deleted all the texts "just because"

Translation: I deleted all the texts because we were talking inappropriately and you seeing them would've made you lose your ****

I only called her to tell her that you knew we had been talking and not to lie to you if you called her

Translation: I told her you knew we were talking, just tell her it was normal stuff. Just deny the dirty stuff. Our stories have to match.

I only talked to her because you messed around 

Translation: I wanted a revenge affair but I'll never admit I would have (or did) **** her given the chance
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MovingFrwrd (Dec 22, 2015)

"It was only texting"
T: Well, with the other 3 men. I was banging the crap out of that first one..

"He tried to kiss me and I backed away"
T: I heard someone coming down the stairs

"We have to work this out - we were meant for each other!"
T:I just took a new job where I travel a lot - I can't afford child care, alimony and new living costs without you home with the kids!

"It's only been going on for about 3 weeks"
T: I think that's the earliest text you read...

"I really can't remember everything"
T: Please stop asking... maybe you'll stop with this answer.

"We only had sex twice"
T: Well, twice in the hotel room.... on two different occasions... Ok, maybe I shoulda said 4

"We never did it in our house"
T: While you were here

"We never did it in your bed"
T: Without washing the sheets afterwards

"Please don't tell anyone about this - we can work it out!"
T: Seriously - please don't tell anyone - I work with him and his wife!!!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

"I don't know how it happened." (Might has something to do with the three months of planning, the 50 phone calls, the dozens of text messages, etc).


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

We never did that ....

I can't think of anything we haven't done. You're wondering about anal since I wouldn't let you try it? Well, yes, it was rough at first but since I was so crazy about him, I let him drill me so many times I can't even feel it when I take a poo anymore. And yes, his **** is bigger than yours and we laugh about your tiny thingy all the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MovingFrwrd (Dec 22, 2015)

"I can't believe I did that"
T: Will you just lay off me already?

"It's unreasonable to expect one person to be your 'everything' for 60+ years."
T: What a great line - I should have thought of it before!!

"He may have slipped inside me"
T: We couldn't get enough of each other

"I have feelings too!"
T: And he felt 'em up as well!

"We only went for walks and held hands"
T: On the way to his car, then we drove and 'parked'


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## MovingFrwrd (Dec 22, 2015)

I needed this laugh today... Thanks for this thread!


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

MovingFrwrd said:


> I needed this laugh today... Thanks for this thread!


Me too. It's nice to be able to vent without having to be reasonable about it.. lol


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

He loves me like a sister (in Arkansas).


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

I was young and stupid and we weren't married yet

Translation: I'll never accept responsibility for what I did, I really did just want to see her boobs and since it was 9 years ago, you don't deserve any remorse from me
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

marduk said:


> "It's not you, it's me."
> 
> Translation: "It's you."
> 
> ...


I was looking for your translation of "I could go on for days" then I realised you were just making a statement!
:rofl:


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## Popcorn2015 (Sep 10, 2015)




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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

"I never stopped loving you"

Translation: You weren't even an after thought.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

No!!!! We can't have sex tonight!!! Damn you!

Translation: I'm saving it for other man. It would be low class to cheat on him like that.
I'm not a slot you know. I have standards. :x


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

I didn't do anything with other man that I haven't done with you. 

Translation: duh uh, well I thought about doing that with you but uuhhhhhhh it just didn't feel right but it's the thought that counts honey, right?


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

What???? How dare you!!!! That baby is yours and you know it!!!!

Translation: maybe


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## Tobyboy (Jun 13, 2013)

"He couldn't even get it up"

Translation: ????
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

unbelievable said:


> He loves me like a sister (in Arkansas).


:surprise::surprise::frown2::frown2:

Or Tennessee...... 

>>>>:wink2:


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

This one was used on me....

Question: why did we bother to getarrord in the church with a preacher if your vows meant nothing to you?

Answer: Meh, what did I know when I was 22? I shouldn't be held to promises I made when I was a kid...

Translation: You dated me for 4 years and knew my whole family was trashy. And I don't want to be a wife and mother and work for a living anymore. I want you and my mom to keep the kids while I run around dating internet guys and looking for a sugardaddy. F marriage vows...

Yes, I'm in a bad mood lately, lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Random and no translations, some obvious repeats, but feel free to put them 

It was only sex

I never loved him

His is not bigger than yours (despite her, in coded words, praising his size in one of the emails I read)

I can guarantee this will never happen again

If I wanted to be with him why am I with you?

Don't believe everything you read in those e-mails

We were just having fun at first (raunchy email tennis)

I only pecked him on the cheek

I have had the blood test done (she did not!)

You were incommunicado

I tried to tell you

I will do whatever it takes to fix this (In 32 months since DDay she hasn't lifted a finger)


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

LosingHim said:


> In my case it was only 1 time and there wasn't sex. (sexual activity yes, but not intercourse). And it only lasted about a minute before I stopped. And this is the Gods honest truth. I did lie to my husband about this initially and tell him it was just a kiss. But when he threatened that my marriage would be ending and I had nothing left to lose, I came 100% clean with him.
> 
> But one I would add would be “I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you”
> 
> ...



*@LosingHim ~ you, my dear, are the exception much rather than the rule!

The "rule" is those unrepentant, self-justified folks who think that they can just unconsciably drop their drawers to the floor away from their spouse, with absolutely no accountability to anyone whatsoever!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)




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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

This one's for HD.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

OK, I'm done.

For tonight.

I think.

But I have a scotch in my hand. This could get messy.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

marduk said:


> This one's for HD.


I feel better now, lololol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Side note.... I really like dos Equis beer. I guess because I'm interesting...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Nomorebeans (Mar 31, 2015)

I just want to be alone for a while, and have a chance to see if I can find someone who'd make me happier.

Translation: Ha ha! I'm totally screwing you! And the other woman I've already found.

All my friends have known our marriage has been over for years.

Translation: I've been b!tching about you behind your back for years, but not bothering to tell you a [email protected] thing.

I didn't tell you about her because I didn't want to hurt you.

Translation: I totally thought you'd never find out, and then after we were divorced, I'd get away with pretending that I JUST met her.

I don't think we should tell our son, family, or friends about this.

Translation: I don't want any of them to know what a special kind of a$$hole I am.

She's really a very nice person. You'd like her.

Translation: I really don't know what kind of person she is - I just enjoy fvcking her. Telling you how nice she is makes me feel a tiny bit less like a special kind of a$$hole. You know, like she has a socially redeeming feature other than wanting to fvck me all the time.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Nomorebeans said:


> I just want to be alone for a while, and have a chance to see if I can find someone who'd make me happier.
> 
> Translation: Ha ha! I'm totally screwing you! And the other woman I've already found.
> 
> ...


I heard the first three of these and can verify the translation is correct. I'm fluent in cheater speak.😊
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

SIL to my BIL:

"You have trust and control issues" which really meant "Your instincts and intuition are spot on."


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

I never loved her it was just the sex for me.

Translation: I fell in love with those big TA TA's


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Don't tell anyone and hurt their family!!!!!

Translation: I don't give a sh!t about you and want to fvck him again.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Evinrude58 said:


> Side note.... I really like dos Equis beer. I guess because I'm interesting...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I like the taste of Dos Equis with lime but I don't swallow :wink2:

Driving drunk is against the law


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

soccermom2three said:


> SIL to my BIL:
> 
> "You have trust and control issues" which really meant "Your instincts and intuition are spot on."


lol, ya... "you're so insecure and controlling"

translation: "you're making it hard for me to get laid"


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."

Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I need some space......

I need a large strange p in my v, and you don't need to see it.

All my friends thought I should have divorced you a long time ago.

Trans: I have been telling out of context, every single thing you've ever done that sounded bad for years; and my single friends who's husbands left them hate every man on the planet and especially you because you don't like me dressing ****ty and staying out with them until 11:30 on a Friday night while you or my mom keeps the kids.

You never treated me like you loved me.

Trans: I want to pretend you never treated me right so I don't have to chew on this guilt sandwich for what I've done. Staying faithful, being a good provider, being home every night, solving every major problem in my life, and giving me whatever I wanted within reason is not showing me you loved me. I'm owed that. The world revolves around me.... Idiot....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Translation: "I'm running out of excuses, can you just give me a freebie?"


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


TranslTion: I never stopped talking to her because I wanted to have sex with her, and not talking to her would be rude. I'm not a rude person, I just like to cheat. It's all your fault. Can't you accept that?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Translation: "Excuses are hard and I'm tired from having sex with someone else."


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Translation: "I'm not even really trying to make excuses any more."


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Translation: "I bet my buddy $50 that you'd fall for even that line."


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Translation:


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Translation:









I guess I wasn't done.


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## blahfridge (Dec 6, 2014)

How about the one I got? 

"It's your fault because you weren't having sex with me enough."

Never mind that I treated you like you were invisible and worthless and told you that I didn't care to ever spend time with you without the kids. You should have ****ed me more often and then I wouldn't have cheated. 

The worst part was that I believed that crap for a long while and a small part of me still blames myself sometimes.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Translation: I'm a selfish child, not responsible for my actions or for any of the other thousands of wrongs I've inflicted on others. That wasn't my fault and the next five won't be, either.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Another SIL gem, "I can't be myself around you" = "I don't want you to go hiking with me and my coworkers because the OM is going to be there too."


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

We can be friends, right?

Translation: I don't want to feel guilty and want everyone to think you're ok with being a dirty, low class skank.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Marc878 said:


> We can be friends, right?
> 
> Translation: I don't want to feel guilty and want everyone to think you're ok with being a dirty, low class skank.


Translation: I need a backup plan in case this new guy doesn't work out.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Tobyboy said:


> "He couldn't even get it up"
> 
> Translation: ????
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I drained him dry :grin2:


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

"It was never about the Sex, really."

Trans... Every time I met him alone we had f--cked like bunnies.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Nomorebeans said:


> She's really a very nice person. You'd like her.


I was told that.:frown2:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

IMFarAboveRubies said:


> I was told that.:frown2:


I got that, too. And she was kind enough to set up a meeting between us. How thoughtful! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

MattMatt said:


> I got that, too. And she was kind enough to set up a meeting between us. How thoughtful!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Did you go?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

IMFarAboveRubies said:


> Did you go?


She arranged for the meeting so OM and i would both be in the same place. I was good. I hit nobody. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Tobyboy said:


> "He couldn't even get it up"
> 
> Translation: ????
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Translation: Hey, he bought it when I said that about you.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

blahfridge said:


> How about the one I got?
> 
> "It's your fault because you weren't having sex with me enough."
> 
> ...


I know exactly how you feel. I have gotten to the point, thank God, that I can accept my faults in the marriage, but know what I was t responsible for. But narcissistic cheaters are lifelong experts at making others feel guilty even when they are not.
Own your stuff, take no blame for stuff that's not yours to own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> She arranged for the meeting so OM and i would both be in the same place. I was good. I hit nobody.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


*You are definitely to be commended, Matt!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

I about passed out with WTF are you saying with this one...

Her... after secretly meeting him in affair sex for 3+ years... "_I guess I felt sorry for him, since he had a stroke and couldn't work."
_
Trans... _"My affair was about helping someone in need... I still a really good person, really."_


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

RWB said:


> I about passed out with WTF are you saying with this one...
> 
> Her... after secretly meeting him in affair sex for 3+ years... "_I guess I felt sorry for him, since he had a stroke and couldn't work."
> _
> Trans... _"My affair was about helping someone in need... I still a really good person, really."_


You definitely needed to roll up your pants leg to avoid the knee deep bs she was shoveling on that one....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

RWB said:


> I about passed out with WTF are you saying with this one...
> 
> Her... after secretly meeting him in affair sex for 3+ years... "_I guess I felt sorry for him, since he had a stroke and couldn't work."
> _
> Trans... _"My affair was about helping someone in need... I still a really good person, really."_


*Yeah, that stroke of his must have undoubtedly stiffened him up, as well as all of his body parts...to the intensity of say, something just this side of rigor mortis!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nursejackie (May 22, 2015)

I wasn't lying when I said I didn't go to her house- she was driving the car so it didn't count. There was no furniture in her house so how could anything have happened?
translation- I had her drive the car a lot. I don't mind laying on the floor.


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

"Don't JUDGE me!"

Translation:

<shrill_shriek>

"I'm poorly educated and can't reason and therefore think that anyone criticizing me for the terrible things I do is really the one at fault, because, seriously, having a negative opinion about me is seriously, seriously out of line. It's like if I murdered someone and people told me it was wrong. Who are these people to sit in judgment of me? Are they so pure? They're no better than me! Nobody is better than anyone else! Including me! I'm a humble person who can't think properly, so who are you to judge me?!"

</shrill_shriek>


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.


Sure, that means "It's your fault that I keep talking to her."


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

arbitrator said:


> *@LosingHim ~ you, my dear, are the exception much rather than the rule!
> 
> The "rule" is those unrepentant, self-justified folks who think that they can just unconsciably drop their drawers to the floor away from their spouse, with absolutely no accountability to anyone whatsoever!*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thank you for saying I'm an exception and not the rule. Because even though it's hypocritical at best, I can't stand half the cheaters I see here at TAM and they leave me shaking my head. It sucks to be part of the "cheater" category as it is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

technovelist said:


> Sure, that means "It's your fault that I keep talking to her."


Ohhhhh I forgot that's exactly what it means! 

I think I figured out why my H was so ****ty yesterday. It was her birthday......
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> Ohhhhh I forgot that's exactly what it means!
> 
> I think I figured out why my H was so ****ty yesterday. It was her birthday......


You know, of all the wayward stories I've read on this site, yours is the only one where I think "She's a lot better off without that guy".

I don't know if that makes you feel any better, but it's how I feel.


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

technovelist said:


> You know, of all the wayward stories I've read on this site, yours is the only one where I think "She's a lot better off without that guy".
> 
> I don't know if that makes you feel any better, but it's how I feel.


You are not the first to say that here. Through regular posts and private messages. And it may very well be true. I can't see it now, maybe some day in the future.

As to whether it makes me feel better or not.....I can't say that it does. But it makes me really think about whether or not I want or need better. It does still hurt though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Tobyboy said:


> "He couldn't even get it up"
> 
> Translation: ????
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I heard this one too from my WH! As if that somehow made it all better


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> Here's one I heard. "I never stopped talking to her because YOU wouldn't let her go. YOU always brought her up."
> 
> Anyone care to translate that one? I'm at a loss.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Translation: I am interested in her and it's all your fault, not mine


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

aine said:


> I heard this one too from my WH! As if that somehow made it all better


oh same here....they tried like 5-6 times and he couldnt get it up for nothing.....whatever...not like I fully believe it anyways.

my fav one thou is "I didnt mean to have an affair, it just happened!"


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

LosingHim said:


> Thank you for saying I'm an exception and not the rule. Because even though it's hypocritical at best, I can't stand half the cheaters I see here at TAM and they leave me shaking my head. It sucks to be part of the "cheater" category as it is.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I read most all your posts, if there is anyone that truly made a mistake and deserves a second chance you would be it...


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

CantBelieveThis said:


> I read most all your posts, if there is anyone that truly made a mistake and deserves a second chance you would be it...


Thank you....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Tobyboy said:


> "He couldn't even get it up"
> 
> Translation: ????
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





aine said:


> I heard this one too from my WH! As if that somehow made it all better





CantBelieveThis said:


> oh same here....they tried like 5-6 times and he couldnt get it up for nothing.....


Translation: 

After our third or forth coupling, he started having trouble riding erect in the saddle. I wanted him again, but he was done. I was pissed and disappointed.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

Tobyboy said:


> "He couldn't even get it up"
> 
> Translation: ????
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yep, heard that one too. 

Trans... The lies, the secret meeting in a hotels, getting naked, groping, oral sex is therefore nullified due to lack of PIV... seriously?

Another one of personal fav...

Her: _"I want you to know that I never had an orgasm with any of them."_

Trans: "Even though I was disappointed, doesn't it make you feel better about my affair sex?"

Me: "Again, seriously?" When caught in the act, cheaters will grasp for any foot hold minimizing, even to point of ridiculous.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

RWB said:


> Yep, heard that one too.
> 
> Trans... The lies, the secret meeting in a hotels, getting naked, groping, oral sex is therefore nullified due to lack of PIV... seriously?
> 
> ...


*Kinda like being given my RSXW's FB dialogue to one of her other men, of something to the effect of "just loving to 'slip and slide' all over 'the Matterhorn!'"

Never got to confront her about that since the D was all but over with at the time of discovery, and it really didn't amount to a tinker's damn in divorce court; but somehow in my heart of hearts, I don't really believe that she was talking about certain recreational endeavors performed upon some moguls on a prime piece of Swiss geographical topography!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deg20 (Apr 10, 2015)

"I do"

Translation: " I do...for now, anyway"


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