# Found out my wife has been lying



## rpitt005 (Feb 22, 2018)

My wife has been complaining that she is bored with staying in the house all day with the kids so I told her she should make some friends. I felt bad for her because she is from Mexico and I married her when I was in the Army and we moved away from her family. So I always pay for her and our kids to go visit her family in Mexico a month at a time. The most recent time she said she met a girl on the plane that speaks Spanish like her and is from the same area and they were going to be friends. I thought that was awesome so I encouraged her and I even drove her to places to meet her because she can't drive. 

The weird part is I have never seen this girl and a lot of red flags started happening like she was texting a lot more on her phone and hiding her phone from my view. We started arguing a lot more and she always brought up divorce or said she was going to cheat on me. She changed her password to her Facebook and got angry when I changed mine out of revenge. Lots of other little things happened I could go on for a long time. 

So I got very suspicious and one night she said she was going to go to a bar with her friend and I tracked her phone and found out she was at a house. I got very angry and immediately confronted her about and she just got angry back saying she lied because she knew I would get angry. The truth is I wouldn't have got angry if she just told me what was happening and wasn't so secretive. She Immediately stopped seeing her friend which just made me more suspicious that she was cheating on me. 

Things kind of died down for months until I looked at the blocked people on my Facebook. There were a bunch of guys that I didn't even know. So then I got the idea to look on a dating web site that we used to meet each other and found some of these guys. I sent them messages and they all said they met her and one said he lived at the house I saw her at that one day. So all this time she was lying to me about he friend she met on the plane. 

She is at back Mexico saying how depressed she is and she is going to try to make our marriage better but I just found out from these guys she still hasn't told me the truth about what she was doing. None of the guys said they had sex with her and they all said she said she was married but was distant. I'm not even sure if I can trust these guys. 

One thing really bothered me was two nights before I caught her at a house she was seeing this same person and we had sex but she felt already hot. That night and the night I caught her she would go straight to the bathroom. I don't know if its just my mind or what but I don't feel like I can trust her. Any advice on what I should do next I have not talked to her about this yet.

This isn't the first time she has lied to me. It wasn't until after we got married when she was pregnant with our first child I found out that she was pregnant before and had an abortion at the age of 16. The only reason I found that out is because the doctor asked her if she has ever been pregnant before and she didn't want to lie to him.

Then I started finding about her history with other guys before we met. She said she has only had sex with 4 other guys that were her boyfriends. I think she had more but that doesn't bother me the only thing that did was she had a 4 month affair with her teacher that was almost twice her age and was married with kids. I originally thought maybe he manipulated her or something but then she explained that he threw out her homework one day and she said she wanted to find a way to make him hers after that. His wife still doesn't know to this day, she says its none of her business. Also she explained how the boyfriend that made her pregnant cheated on her a lot and even had sex with her aunt and her best friend at the time. Even after that she still wanted him and she said she lost her dignity because he left her and she begged to have him back and even asked her mom to ask him to come back.

Stuff like that just makes me thing cheating is part of her life and not a big deal. That is why she always brings it up when argueing and now with these guys on the dating web site I feel she probably did but I don't know for sure. I have to know for sure because I can't divorce her for something that probably happened. My kids future is on the line.

Any advice


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

First thing to do is find out if your child is yours. Get a DNA test done.

Talk to a lawyer.

Do you have access to the phone bill? If you do find out who she has been talking to and texting. You also need to get a Sony voice recorder and hide it in the house where she is talking to her dates.

If she doesn’t drive how does she get to her dates?


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## rpitt005 (Feb 22, 2018)

I would always drive her to a restaurant or parking lot or something. Then they would come pick her up. Same thing to get back. That was a big red flag to me and when I asked her why I couldn't meet her friend she just got angry. That is the reason I tracked her phone. Also I did get a DNA test on our daughter and she is mine. I'm 100% sure our son is mine to don't need to do that with him.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

So many red flags here... I think you clearly see this. 

What are you going to do about it?


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## WilliamM (Mar 14, 2017)

When my wife had an affair I was much more angry about the lies I discovered than the affair.

My wife begged me to forgive her, and swore to do anything she could to make me happy. But she couldn't stop lying to me.

The lies drove me to a very dark place. It was much harder for me to deal with the lies than the affair.

In my opinion if you really do think your wife is lying to you on purpose and with malice in her heart, get rid of her. The only reason I continued with my reconciliation with my wife is because she convinced me she had no malice in her heart.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

All of these things add up to indicate her character. She is simply not a decent, honest, faithful person. 

She likely married you to get into America and to have her offspring have American citizenship. She has accomplished that so now you are disposable to her. 

I would also urge caution in her taking the kids out of the country. Consult an attorney that deals in American/Mexican family law. 

I do not know the status of children with one Mexican and one American parent when taken to Mexico, but there are some countries that once the children set foot in that particular country, the American parent is not allowed to get them back to America.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

:surprise:

Nothing to say......


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## Malaise (Aug 8, 2012)

rpitt005 said:


> She is at back Mexico saying how depressed she is and she is going to try to make our marriage better but I just found out from these guys she still hasn't told me the truth about what she was doing. None of the guys said they had sex with her and they all said she said she was married but was distant.* I'm not even sure if I can trust these guys.
> *
> 
> 
> ...


They're not going to tell you they had sex with her. They don't know how violent you may be . But, they did.

Never mind 'probably'


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Hang a sign on her butt and start charging admission. 

Might as well get some money out of it.

Did she use to be a working girl in Mexico?


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## SarcasticRed (Feb 21, 2018)

Don't let her take the kids out of the country. There are tons of threads about catching or getting proof of cheating and they might have some ideas you can use. It sounds like is totally dependant on you so talking to a lawyer about how to protect yourself and your kids in the event of a divorce is probably a good step. If she can work, she should look for a part time job and learn to drive. Her being so unable to support herself will work against you in a divorce in terms of payments. A lawyer also might have ideas about how to prevent her taking the kids without your consent. 

Good luck.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

rpitt005 said:


> I would always drive her to a restaurant or parking lot or something. Then they would come pick her up. Same thing to get back. That was a big red flag to me and when I asked her why I couldn't meet her friend she just got angry. That is the reason I tracked her phone. Also I did get a DNA test on our daughter and she is mine. I'm 100% sure our son is mine to don't need to do that with him.


This deserves a torrent of facepalm memes.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

:slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap::slap:


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

If you stay married to her your crazy...she is a serial cheater


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## BobSimmons (Mar 2, 2013)

rpitt005 said:


> *I would always drive her to a restaurant or parking lot or something. Then they would come pick her up. Same thing to get back.* That was a big red flag to me and when I asked her why I couldn't meet her friend she just got angry. That is the reason I tracked her phone. Also I did get a DNA test on our daughter and she is mine. I'm 100% sure our son is mine to don't need to do that with him.


I'm sorry but no sympathy here. 

Who in their right mind would agree to such suspect behavior. Who was picking her up, I mean you just dropped her in a parking lot, anybody could have picked her up, and if it was on the up and up, they could have picked her up from your house.

And why didn't you meet the friend?

I'm a firm believer in adults treating other adults in kind. Once they start acting like children then you treat them as such.

There's so much childishness here it's unbelievable. The way she's acting, the things you've subsequently found out about her but also your own actions throughout this. Dropping her off in parking lots, when you ask stuff she shuts you down with anger so you back off. Both of you are game playing.

You say your kids future is on the line but you're not really taking this seriously. Start treating your wife like an adult, she either explains herself, you meet her "friends", no more hiding phones or you kick her out.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

rpitt005 said:


> So I got very suspicious and one night she said she was going to go to a bar with her friend and I tracked her phone and found out she was at a house. I got very angry and immediately confronted her about and she just got angry back saying she lied because she knew I would get angry. The truth is I wouldn't have got angry if she just told me what was happening and wasn't so secretive.


 Wait, your wife lies to you and secretly goes at night to the house of another man that you do not even know, and you tell her that you "wouldn't have got angry if she just told"? Really? Her going on dates with other men to there house is OK with you as long as she tells you? And then later you ask the other men in her life if they had sex with her, as if they would tell you? Dude, the fact that she gave you good reason to ask such questions of these other men, speaks volumes.

The next time that your wife tells you that "she lied because she knew" that you would get angry, you tell her that a spouse should not be doing things with members of the opposite sex that would make their spouse angry, and that she knew that you would be angry because you had a right to be angry.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

rpitt005 said:


> Stuff like that just makes me thing cheating is part of her life and not a big deal. That is why she always brings it up when argueing and now with these guys on the dating web site I feel she probably did but I don't know for sure. *I have to know for sure because I can't divorce her for something that probably happened*. My kids future is on the line.


Bullcrap. 

You can divorce her for any reason. Divorce is no-fault now. You can divorce her for wearing her hair a way you don't like. 

Your wife is a sneaky unrepentant cheat who used you to get a green card. You don't have to prove she has slept with any of these bums. What she has done already is deeply disrespectful to you and your marriage and worthy of divorce. She has violated your trust, and trust is the foundation of marriage.


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