# i want to fix my marriage



## ryleesmommy4 (Apr 17, 2010)

first of all, i am twenty two years old and my husband is twenty three years old. we have been together for over 7 years so we've pretty much been together since the 9th grade. we have had our issues back when we were dating, broke up for awhile then would always work it out. we have been married for a little over two years now and have a daughter two just turned three years old this month.

My husband joined the military in 2007. things were wonderful but it changed him, in alot of good ways and some just as far as growing up. he completely changed most interest, for example music, clothing etc. his way of thinking even changed to an extent. he says that i am always picking at him and that he doesn't get to do things that he wishes he could do and that i have pushed him from his family. they are not easy to get along with but i love them the same. we have had these issues and he always goes to his parents house and they let him stay. hes left a couple times but usually they are about a year apart and he comes home.

he says that i will never change that we just have nothing in common anymore but says that it has nothing to do with love why he leaves but that again i will never change. i love him so much and i do think that i need maybe some type of anti-depressant at times because i do seem to lash out at times, but i never mean any type of negative thing. i am actually a very tender hearted person inside who just is trying to figure out where i'm going in life.

he moved out of our home about a month ago. he has gotten a divorce packet but has not filed, says he does not have the money. he says that this time he is not coming back and that i will never change. i have tried begging and pleading for him to come home. i asked him last night over text message why he just stops talking to me all the sudden and he said "because its all the same stuff, same lies" because i always promise that i will change my attitude but seems to never happen completely. he has completely opened my eyes this time and i really would change and make sure our lives together were happy, i just don't know how to show him that.

he is a very quiet person who the more you push them for answers, the more they seem to want to get out of the situation and run. i know we are both so young, but we have put so much love and time into our relationship i honestly do not want it to end. i am having a very hard time dealing with our situation and just want to fix it. i would love some type of advice to try and persuade him to give what we have another chance.. please any type of advice is appreciated.


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## bigfamily (Mar 11, 2010)

You guys are so young. I think partially that's the problem. The fact that he leaves to his parents' house shows that he's not a mature adult. He should be dealing with his marriage at home and not run away to mommy and daddy when it's convenient for him. How does he want you to change? How are you treating him that he wants you to change? You can't change yourself for him, it's not possible. If you have a bad attitude towards him, that's because you're upset and have every right to be. Instead of asking you to change you both need to sit down, discuss and understand what brought on the change in you. On the other hand you have been together for so long that I think you might need some time apart to figure out what you want out of life, your marriage, your partner. People grow up and mature. May be he was a great boyfried for you, but not a good enough husband. May be whatever he has to offer is not good enough for you anymore. I assume that you haven't dated much if you've been with him for so long. You or he might be missing it. I hope you work things out, but if you don't, don't be upset. Someone much better might be waiting for you. Someone more mature, more loving, more of what you need. Don't get discouraged, good luck!.


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