# What do you do when you at the point in your life when it seems like no one get you?



## Clarice (Aug 17, 2010)

What do you do when you at the point in your life when it seems like no one get you? Like no one understand you, feels what you are going through, care about you or supports you? Most people seek comfort in people close to them, family, friends, spouse… Each person should have someone in their life, someone who they can comfy in, share good and bad, be able to poor his/her hart out without fear of judgment, or fear of someone taking advantage of you by using that information against you later on. Well, it seems like I do not have such person in my life, I prefer not to share everything with my parents for fear of hearing “we told you so”. My husband lets day that we managed to grow apart, and the gap between us is getting wider with each passing day. We do not trust each other; we do not share personal stuff with each other, most time it feels like two strangers sharing a house. Most of our problems are do to lack of communication, at some point we stopped talking, do not get me wrong, we talk about necessities like everyday issues, but we do not talk about us, about our plans, goals, wishes for the future. We just live day in and day out each worrying about him/her self, making plans for ourselves, nursing our own hurts and pains without sharing them. I do realize that by doing so we only end up hurting even more. One might say, then why don’t you do something about it, talk to each other, try to work it out, fix it somehow. However, after several attempts to have a conversation just to hear that if there is a problem then it is in me or my perception of reality and unrealistic expectations from marriage. In our marriage, we each on our own, financially, emotionally and in any other possible way. In my understanding, such arrangement is more suitable for roommates, not married couple. We share apartment, we have a child together, but that is about it. I do realize that most likely reason for us to remain together for so long, is some level of convenience, fear of being on our own, to start everything from the beginning, fear for our child growing up in the broken home.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Have you two considered marriage counseling? It might help. It gives you a neutral zone to air what you feel are problems, with a mediator there to kind of "referee" and make sure that things don't get too heated. 

And counseling itself might help you, as well. If you feel you have no one to talk to, a therapist might help you with that. It would give you someone to talk to, and help you figure out if there's more going on that you need help with (i.e., maybe you're depressed and that's leading you to feel no one understands you, etc.). 

And one other thing to keep in mind, you say there've been several attempts at conversation only to hear that the problem lies with you. I am not saying you are at fault, but...perhaps you should hear your husband out. Although his views might not be entirely accurate, there may be some truth to what he thinks. And if you refuse to hear it at all, then your problems will never be solved. It takes two people to make it work, and two people for it to not work. Just give it a little thought.


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## ChanelSL (Aug 24, 2010)

WOW! I am right there with you... same boat so to speak. That's why I'm hear, trying to find help. I have been to counseling, had the "talks" .... things change for a min., then go right back. We have 1 child, and I don't want her to go what I went through with divorced parents BUT is it really better to stay together if it's not working? I just don't know. If you don't mind me asking Clarice how old are you? I would like to talk to you more.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

atruckersgiel is right. There's usually two sides to this kind of issue.

And neither of you can probably remember how it started but it continued downward and here you are.

Continue with the marriage counseling. it takes time and it takes effort. If you are going to divorce, you want to know that you did everything you could to make it work.


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## wheretogo (Aug 27, 2010)

I have asked myself this question many times but do you think that your child is growing up in a broken home now even though you are still living together? I have said for a long time that I am staying for the kids but am I? Is it really in their best interest? If things are not good now do you feel that your child can sense what you are going through and how your are feeling? Unhappy emotions all around is not a good thing to grow up around either. I would agree with what others have said that counseling is a good step but you have to open the door to communication or try.


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