# He kissed me on our second date



## iammovingon5678

This is my first post here. Briefly, my story is this.

Been divorced and a single mom for more than a year now. Since August this year, I started to meet new people with the hope of meeting someone who would be interested in getting into a relationship.

I met one guy online and after a few texts, phone calls, and emails, we decided to meet. The first date was just a low key dinner, coffee, and deserts. A week after the first one, he asked me out again. So, we went out for a late night coffee near my place. At the end of the coffee conversation, when it was time for him to bring me back to my place, while walking to the parking lot, he grabbed my hand and held it until I was able to sit in the car. While in the car, he was holding my hand. I didn't let go because I like the way it feels.

Outside my building, we sat on the parking lot just talking and then he said, it is getting late. So, I bended over to give him a good night hug and a kiss on his cheek. When I was ready to pull away, he grabbed me and kissed me. His lips were so soft and I kissed him back. And we kissed and things started to get a little steamy inside his car and I pulled back to gain my composure.

I asked him why he kissed me and he said "I am attracted to you. You are fun, normal, bubbly, and has a nice body." Then he kissed me again and I kissed him back because I like him.

After that, I finally decided I need to go up to my building and call it a night. I asked him to text me back when he gets home so that I know he gets home safely. He did text me after half hour. I asked him what he is looking for and he said he wants to meet people outside of the bar scene to start a relationship with. He is 28, I am 31 and he has never been married and I have a son. My ex-husband cheated on me and I don't think I can afford another heart break. I am not looking for a one night stand or a hook-up. 

This guy would only text and call me after his work or late evenings. He asked me via text if we can get together again later this coming week.

From a man's perspective, what is this guy after? Does he just want to get into my pants or does he see any potential in us getting into a possible relationship? I am really confused right now with his mixed signals and I do not want to waste his time nor my time if there is really nothing into it but sex...

Can you guys possibly shed light on this? It was more than seven years ago since I last dated. I have no clue how the dating scene works now or whether it is normal to kiss and make out on your second date.

Thank you!


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## DanF

If he just wanted some action, the date would have more likely been drinks and more than 2 kisses.


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## OOE

He's a 28 year old guy who's never been married.

I can't say for certain if he _just_ wants to get into your pants, but I'm 99.9% positive that he wants to get into your pants.


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## OOE

Oh... how many guys have you gone out with? Is he the first?

You should look pretty closely at your expectations. Your expectation should be to meet people and have fun. How much "fun" is OK is your call. Once you get to know someone and think there might be compatability, then you start feeling out their makeup to see how far the compatability reaches.

THEN, if everything looks great, you should start thinking about a relationship.

Before that, it's just a date.


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## Arnold

Sounds like a very normal date. Just go slow on the actual sex deal. IMHO, it clouds judgement and you find yourself getting attached to fast.


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## Lon

he wants in your pants and will try to escalate towards that with every move. If you like him then make him work really hard for it. Enjoy but now is a good time to write down your boundaries in a journal for your own sake and stand by them. I am very new to dating again too, and really don't have much personal experience to tell you what to expect, but from what I can tell, dating in your late 20's and early 30's people generally don't like to waste time, so by the end of date number 2, if it has gotten that far, things will probably be getting hot and heavy. So decide early if you like the guy or not. Have fun!


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## Arnold

Will he , actually, fit in your pants, though?


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## alphaomega

Yes. Enjoy the ride. Not the destination. He may be totally into you, but something may happen in one month, two, a year. You just don't know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LittleMrsJodi

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## iammovingon5678

He is the third one and I do like him. So far, I felt some chemistry with him. He makes me feel excited.

So far, I want to get to know him more and I am hoping it would progress into something. What I do not want is that he is only after sex and all he wants is to get laid and then drop me like a hot potato. That is why I am cautious. But I do not want to be too cautious in way that he would pull back.






OOE said:


> Oh... how many guys have you gone out with? Is he the first?
> 
> You should look pretty closely at your expectations. Your expectation should be to meet people and have fun. How much "fun" is OK is your call. Once you get to know someone and think there might be compatability, then you start feeling out their makeup to see how far the compatability reaches.
> 
> THEN, if everything looks great, you should start thinking about a relationship.
> 
> Before that, it's just a date.


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## okeydokie

here is a 28 year old guy who is attracted to you, arent you at least flattered? do you really have to question whether or not he wants in your pants, really? you will know when your ready, if you ever are, he will know when he is done trying and is ready to move on if it doesnt happen. typical relationship dynamics


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## chillymorn

If he didn't want in your pants then he would be gay!

be excited and enjoy someone who thinks your sexy and attractive body and personality.

do you think hes sexy and attractive body and presonality? if so then roll with it. and enjoy the feeling.


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## Kobo

No sex until you meet mom.  Just kidding. You're both human. It might work out, it might not. You're both into each other. Be calm, don't over think, when you're ready to have sex...have sex. If you're not ready then don't. Don't have sex just to keep him around and don't think having sex means he'll stay.


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## Hicks

One way to figure out what he is interested in: Don't have sex with him and see if he sticks around.


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## Enchantment

^^^ I agree with Hick's advice.

Stick to what you believe in and go at the pace that you feel comfortable with. Don't ever do something because you feel pressured - whether that pressure is from another person or is pressure from yourself to meet some kind of relationship 'deadline'.

And, you may want to actually try to casually date more people, so that you don't put all of your eggs (metaphorically speaking) into one basket. Get out there and meet greater numbers of guys, casually date them - you don't have to sleep with any of them.


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## iammovingon5678

I do like him. He has the education, the wit, partly the looks I am looking for...

But, the texts and phone conversations are really making me think probably I should not see him again. Example of text: "I'd like to watch your private show to me." Example of phone conversation: "I'd like to take your skirt off....."

It is just becoming too sexual to me. He knows I have a son and never bothered to ask about him. When I reminded him about me having a child he just said, well, I do not want to ask and I am waiting for you to open up about it. When I opened up, he does not even sound interested. I guess that is a red flag right there, he is not that serious to get to know ME (and that mean it includes my son).

So, with that said, I am leaning on moving on and probably meet someone who would be more into ME and not just in my pants. Too bad, mentally and somehow physically he fits the profile of what I am looking for...

Thank you all for your comments. Really appreciated!


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## iammovingon5678

Hicks said:


> One way to figure out what he is interested in: Don't have sex with him and see if he sticks around.



Thank you. I am intending not to. If he sticks around, then, he is probably worth it. If not, I deserve someone better!


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## Kobo

iammovingon5678 said:


> I do like him. He has the education, the wit, partly the looks I am looking for...
> 
> But, the texts and phone conversations are really making me think probably I should not see him again. Example of text: "I'd like to watch your private show to me." Example of phone conversation: "I'd like to take your skirt off....."
> 
> It is just becoming too sexual to me. He knows I have a son and never bothered to ask about him. When I reminded him about me having a child he just said, well, I do not want to ask and I am waiting for you to open up about it. When I opened up, he does not even sound interested. I guess that is a red flag right there, he is not that serious to get to know ME (and that mean it includes my son).
> 
> So, with that said, I am leaning on moving on and probably meet someone who would be more into ME and not just in my pants. Too bad, mentally and somehow physically he fits the profile of what I am looking for...
> 
> Thank you all for your comments. Really appreciated!


If you've told him that your uncomfortable with those types of conversations and he keeps pushing it then you should send him on a one way trip to the friend zone  Until you're ready for those things anyway.


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## committed_guy

Can you lay it out in a conversation with him? Tell him how you feel, your concerns. 

To answer your question, yes he does want to get into your pants. EVERY guy wants to get into a girls pants. He's not especially perverted, all of us guys are. The question is does he have enough character to build an emotional connection with you before he gets impatient. 

I've read stories about how some guys ditch the girl if she doesn't at least do 3rd base on the first date. I think it's a good sign he is going on week 2 or 3 with you and wanting but no demanding. Just lay out to him your boundaries, fears, and expectations. If he is the right one he will respect that and tone it down a bit until you guys build a stronger relationship. Then watch the sparks fly


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## Shaggy

Look, he's a late twenty year old guy. Let's be honest: he does want sex. He likes you, he is attracted to you - his entire brain is wired by evolution to want to have sex. To get you to want to have sex.

there is nothing wrong with that.

it also doesn't mean he doesn't or won't have a real relationship with you. 

look you've got a divorce and kid, he doesn't know what that's like because he hasn't got either. You need to openly talk to him about what that does mean to you, and how that affects what you want.

but if you ditch a guy because he is interested in sex - then you're only going to end up alone, because even the decent nice guys want sex.


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## iammovingon5678

Dear Everyone,

Thank you so much for shedding some light.

Just an update, I did not go to the third date. The time between the second date and the planned third date, this guy has nothing to talk to me about but S-E-X. He asked me what I am thankful for last Thanksgiving and I said, I am grateful for all the blessings...my family, my son and he suddenly replied..."Oh, you want us to make a son soon? Want to do it tonight?"

I was married to a man who was like that and I should be wise enough this time around to have learned my lessons.

Thank you for those who took time to reply to my thread. I really appreciate it.

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!


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## Arnold

I'd say this guy is a classless moron.


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## Anubis

I concur with Arnold. While you should be pleased that guys very much want to have sex with you (consider the opposite - what if every guy out there looked at you and said 'eh.. no..do not want...'), this guy sounds not quite grown up enough for you and your situation.

There are guys out there who will be able charm their way into your pants because you'll be offering to take them off for them by this point. And what I mean by that is not that you'll lower your standards, but that they will present to you an experience that gets lots of your needs met - including your need for respect for you as person, respect for you as mom, your situation and circumstances, and your comfort level in addition to having many of the traits you desire in a man. Put another way, with them you'll feel safe and understood in addition to desired and beautiful.

And the really good guys out there? They are going to forgo pinning your ankles back if they see an outcome that's going to leave you worse off then when they found you.

Be Quality and Date Quality.

There is a lot here in these forums to help point a person in the right direction.


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## sinnister

He's not a classless moron...he's a horny 28 year old.

Not right for a mature woman with a child, but just cause the guy is in the dating scene and wants to bang doesn't mean he's a jerk.

Just different expectations.


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