# some help please



## lukeh (May 10, 2013)

My wife and I have been married for 3 years and we have 1 child. .We did 
everything together which includes stuff like goin to the movies and 
hanging out together but recently I have realized that she is not very 
interested in doin anything with me including sex. What raised the alarm is 
that one evening she got home like 2 hours later than she normally does. On 
realizing the time and she was not home as yet I decided to call and didn’t 
get any answer for about an hour and a half. Then she sends me a text 
“sorry hun I fell asleep in the bus!” this was very awkward to me because 
she is very alert when traveling by herself, plus she normally call me when 
she gets into the bus, that evening she didn’t.. When she arrived home i 
greeted her as I normally do and I smelt a hint of alcohol on her. Not 
wanting to raise an alarm, I told her if you made a little detour before u 
went to the bus its ok to say because the story sounded a bit farfetched. 
She didnt give a reply and went to bed after cuddling with our son. That 
was a Friday night, the weekend had passed and we spoke as normal not 
speaking about the incident. A couple of weeks before this I realized she 
began always being on her phone, not having conversations but texting or 
Facebook. I visited her profile and didn’t see anything out of the 
ordinary. During the week I decided to ask her what happened the Friday 
night and she said I was being nosy and needed to give her some ‘Me time ‘ 
for herself. This coming from a woman who doesn’t have a bunch of friends 
and has always came directly home from work. This also was a bit odd. I 
have a gut feeling that some thing is wrong and I don’t know how to 
approach/deal with it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Phone bill, check out the numbers, the dates.
Maybe spyware on the cellular if she deletes texts.


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## lukeh (May 10, 2013)

Her cell phone is prepaid and she never let's the thing out of her sight! Plus she recently started to lock her phone!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

Pry it out of her hand when she uses it next time, and lock yourself in the bathroom. You'll have your answers quickly.


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## LetDownNTX (Oct 4, 2012)

Maybe you can try to figure out her code and then "steal" her phone when she's not looking or lock yourself in the bathroom with it. (that sounds crazy but you gotta do what ya gotta do)


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Luke, You've got a serious problem in that she's got another guy. You need to take countermeasures. Is adultery a marriage breaker for you?

If not, when did the sex drop off? 

Who makes more, you or her?

How often do other women hit on you?

Who is hotter, you or her?


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## lukeh (May 10, 2013)

I will surly try to get my hands on that phone! But how should I react to her until I can do that?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

If friday is the "me time" day try to get off work early and hang outside her workplace and do some surveillance you may get some answers you don't want but need.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

lukeh said:


> I will surly try to get my hands on that phone! But how should I react to her until I can do that?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Play stupid. Seriously. She will go lazy and forgive to lock the phone, delete the text...
Idealy you should get a hold to the phone bill to check out the deleted texts, the dates, etc.
Is she hides somewhere in the house to make calls, a VAR (voice activated recorder) will help you to know what's going on even if you only catch confidences to a friend or family member.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

get a paternity test done on your son. you know deep in your heart thats shes up to something and it ani't going to be peaches and oranges.

stay calm. start snooping convertly. gather evidence,go to a lawyer find out your rights. then think it all through is this the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with? only married 3 yrs. young child ...if you get divorced befors he knows any better it will be much better for him and you in the long run.


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## lukeh (May 10, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> Luke, You've got a serious problem in that she's got another guy. You need to take countermeasures. Is adultery a marriage breaker for you?
> 
> If not, when did the sex drop off?
> 
> ...


I can't stand her being touched by another guy intimately! So I would say yes adultry is a deal breaker!

The sex dropped about a month ago

I make more

Women don't hit on me very often but it happens.

She is hotter I suppopse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

There are two options. The first is direct. Go caveman on her. Grab her phone and demand that she choose between giving you her password, or signing divorce papers. Get some blank divorce papers that you can fill out yourself and have them on-hand ready to be signed. The drawback to this option is that she might call you on the divorce. She might refuse to give you the password, then clean up her phone later, and show you the phone a few days later offering to work on the marriage.

The second option is to go into spy mode. Investigate her. Now, that will be hard with a prepaid cell and no car. But, you might find something irrefutable. The drawback to this is that you're giving her time to deepen any possible affair. If she's been in an emotional affair, you may be giving her time to take it physical.

Look for the investigative thread for tips on how to investigate her.

Good luck.


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## carolinadreams (Nov 30, 2012)

If you have her facebook password you could certainily check her activity history. Check the message archive too, it seems a lot of people archive messages, thinking they are deleting.

If she uses a gmail, and frequently stays signed in, you can log into her gmail and see her google search history.

If you don't have her facebook and email passwords why not?


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## Brokenshadow (May 3, 2013)

lukeh said:


> My wife and I have been married for 3 years and we have 1 child. .We did
> everything together which includes stuff like goin to the movies and
> hanging out together but recently I have realized that she is not very
> interested in doin anything with me including sex. What raised the alarm is
> ...


Just play it cool. Keep an eye out for when she's entering her password, note the pattern such as top row, bottom row, etc. if it's a smartphone, you should also be able to see smudges on the glass. Patience is key. I got my WW's code this way. If you don't see a text thread to a mans name, check any texts to a close friend. Be sure you want, and am prepared for, this information.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

What phone?


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## lukeh (May 10, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> What phone?


Blackberry 9300
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## All of a sudden (Jan 24, 2013)

I agree with the other posters, just grab it out of her hand when shes logged in and go lock yourself in the bathroom. Why is she locking her phone from you. Follow her home on Friday, somethings up.


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## Brokenshadow (May 3, 2013)

Take this for what it's worth, Lukeh. You really have two options, either you put this out of your had entirely, or gain access to her phone. Ask her to give you her phone, or the code. If she refuses, it's going to ramp up your anxiety. You will become fixated on knowing what is on it. Trust me, as the days go by it only gets worse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

She doesn't get the phone back til she gives you the password. 

Now, on some phones if someone calls then you can go to home menu and look up numbers etc while you are on the phone. The call activates the screen. If all else fails you can always call it from your phone while in your possession and it will activate the screen for you. Don't know if so for a blackberry but definitely for an HTC.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

lukeh said:


> I can't stand her being touched by another guy intimately! So I would say yes adultry is a deal breaker!
> 
> The sex dropped about a month ago
> 
> ...


I reckon that adultery has already occurred, but on the hope that it has not, it's time to counterattack while you continue to gather intel by watching the phone and conducting spy ops, as was already suggested.

Download and read this book: Married Man Sex Life Primer. These are "game concepts" applied from pickup to maintaining a good marriage by keeping your attraction factor high. It tells you how to do that much quicker than me explaining it all.

Right away, you need to change the way you interact with her. When she gets home, you go out looking as sharp as possible, wearing cologne, even. Just say, I'll be back later. Be vague and keep cool.

Start working out with weights. Get rid of any gut. Chest over 46 and waist 32 or lower is your target. 

I think she's probably adulterous, but if you R or D, either one, those actions above will stand you in good stead.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Also put a keylogger on your PC TODAY!


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

I have to agree the A has already started. You can either go spy mode on her or i would just grab the phone and lock myself in the bathroom

You need to find out what is going on get a keylogger on the PC and then show up at her work next Friday and follow her


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

You need to go download "No More Makin' Sammiches" by Kay I. Amdum. You need to read every word 5x and then read it again. You need to eat jello pudding pops and understand that the digestive system is what is making him do this. It's alllllll about the digestive system and don't think it's not. The rationalization kangaroo is bouncing up and down up and down and you don't even have a f'ng pogo stick, woman!

What's your body like? You need to strive for the Golden Ratio 36-25-36 if you want to up your sexy rank. If you aren't doing this, then you need to start now. Go buy some dumbells and horseshoes immediately at Walmart and the feed store. These will help build the breasts that you need.

Next, you need to go buy a moped or if money is no object then a Vespa. Either way, you need to be on two wheels styling it like there's no tomorrow. That way you can grab your helmet...strut to the door and say, "I'm goin for a ride, b!tch."

THAT

is how ya do it. 




Oh...wait. You're a guy. Damn, sorry man. I copy/pasted the wrong response that's supposed to go to everyone.

Anyway, if you'll excuse my attempt at levity, here's the deal: She's acting out of character. That doesn't JUST happen. It happens for a reason. As for "me time", in a marriage, that is discussed - not just taken by a spouse and boundaries are made PRIOR to "me time".

As others have said, you need to find a way to get the phone. In my opinion, it would be as "easy" as saying - Give me your phone and if she balks and cries "privacy" remind her that privacy is for toilets and not a phone. You, as her husband, deserve to know exactly what's going on. No need to be subversive. Tell her to give you the phone.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> As others have said, you need to find a way to get the phone. In my opinion, it would be as "easy" as saying - Give me your phone and if she balks and cries "privacy" remind her that privacy is for toilets and not a phone. You, as her husband, deserve to know exactly what's going on. * No need to be subversive. Tell her to give you the phone.*


Sure, that will actually work very well if he's ready to let the spoon fly right now. But he has to be willing to send her packing right out the door when she doesn't comply. I would, but I've been part way down this road before. Not too many guys on this site are ready to do that the first day, or they wouldn't be here.

What do you say, Luke? Are you ready for the showdown?


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Most excellent point in that most aren't ready to do the showdown immediately. It's definitely up to Luke, and while many of us prefer to get more confirmation or evidence, hell - I think her reaction to his demand alone will tell much of the tale.

By the way - glad you liked my spoof!!


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> Sure, that will actually work very well if he's ready to let the spoon fly right now. But he has to be willing to send her packing right out the door when she doesn't comply. I would, but I've been part way down this road before. Not too many guys on this site are ready to do that the first day, or they wouldn't be here.
> 
> What do you say, Luke? Are you ready for the showdown?


Yep many folks would say gather more evidence and lay low. The red flags are there she should have nothing to hide so if you tell her to give you the phone and she is defiant you have to be prepared to pack her sh!t in garbage bags and send her on her way, because you have your answer. No begging or pleading cool, calm, dispassionate show her you can move on without her.


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## lukeh (May 10, 2013)

I am going for the phone tonight! Am also silently monitoring her movements after work!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

lukeh said:


> I am going for the phone tonight! Am also silently monitoring her movements after work!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good luck. When you confront no yelling no emotion, to the point.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> Most excellent point in that most aren't ready to do the showdown immediately. It's definitely up to Luke, and while many of us prefer to get more confirmation or evidence, hell - I think her reaction to his demand alone will tell much of the tale.
> 
> By the way - glad you liked my spoof!!


Like the old joke says, "if the foo sh!ts, wear it."


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

lukeh said:


> I am going for the phone tonight! Am also silently monitoring her movements after work!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Okay, man. Be solid in your mind when you do it. No excuses for not handing it over and don't let her start deleting stuff. BUT, don't get in tug of war over it or she might send you to jail. If she won't hand it over, don't try to take it. If she does hand it over, take off with it before she can decide to grab it back. Think "domestic violence rap" every step of the way.


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

Luke well lets look from the outside.

1: no sex for a month

2: protects phone like a 17 year old does his porn


She is cheating I agree with the others follow her when she leave for work and get ahold of that phone. Sounds like you are already doing that. I would also add to keep posting as she is likely to do the cheating dance and many here can walk you through it.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

:rofl:


SomedayDig said:


> You need to go download "No More Makin' Sammiches" by Kay I. Amdum. You need to read every word 5x and then read it again. You need to eat jello pudding pops and understand that the digestive system is what is making him do this. It's alllllll about the digestive system and don't think it's not. The rationalization kangaroo is bouncing up and down up and down and you don't even have a f'ng pogo stick, woman!
> 
> What's your body like? You need to strive for the Golden Ratio 36-25-36 if you want to up your sexy rank. If you aren't doing this, then you need to start now. Go buy some dumbells and horseshoes immediately at Walmart and the feed store. These will help build the breasts that you need.
> 
> ...


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

sigh if he doesnt break her tonight he just will be a repeat of rdmu but worse. awfully big gamble.

sony var icdpx312. 50 bucks at bestbuy. accept nothing but sony. 1 wherever she talks at home when you are not around. the other under her car seat velcoed with heavy duty velcro. keylog the comp.


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## awake1 (Jan 29, 2013)

They're right, prepare for it mentally. 


It will shock you, either right away or later. Control your emotions and control yourself. 

From experience I was in a blind rage for about an hour. Just prepare yourself for that dont break anything or accidentally get yourself into trouble in a tugging war like Machiavelli said. 

Do NOT be surprised to see nothing, that doesn't mean no cheating is involved, just that you didn't find anything. We all have ways of staying blindly ignorant. 

When you get the phone red flag #1 is no texts. That means she has something to hit. 

Sorry you're here.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Im honestly trying to figure out the probability of success with an early grab of her phone. especially if he grabs it and its locked. im thinking 25 percent. iow 75 percent chance failure. now she hates him and knows he is suspicious.


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## Dday (Mar 31, 2013)

I have done the grab the phone tactic and it didn't go well. First time she got it and locked herself in the bathroom and deleted everything. 

The second time I got the phone and went to the bathroom and she kicked the door and got in. I was able to read messages but there wasn't anything bad. This led her to get a burner phone and extended the affair by another 7 months

When I found the burner phone I again locked myself in the bathroom. This time she kicked a hole in the door and unlocked the door. I pushed her on a couch after she clawed at me ripping my war open and I eventually drove away while she was holding onto the side of my truck. She fell of and landed pretty hard as I was driving down our driveway. 

I would suggest taking it and running out if the house if she shows any restraint at all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Dday...you just brought up the entire point of me saying to just take it.

You did and your wife's actions showed exactly what she was up to. If Luke's wife has nothing to really hide, then she won't act like yours. Sorry you went through the crap you did, but I'm glad you posted exactly what he needs to look for in a reaction!


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

Dday said:


> I have done the grab the phone tactic and it didn't go well. First time she got it and locked herself in the bathroom and deleted everything.
> 
> The second time I got the phone and went to the bathroom and she kicked the door and got in. I was able to read messages but there wasn't anything bad. This led her to get a burner phone and extended the affair by another 7 months
> 
> ...


LOL just what the hell. I would D on just principle because that is some crazy shyte right there. Again LOL. So if she does that crap just file and and be done with it because crazy is contagious.


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## carolinadreams (Nov 30, 2012)

weightlifter said:


> sigh if he doesnt break her tonight he just will be a repeat of rdmu but worse. awfully big gamble.
> 
> sony var icdpx312. 50 bucks at bestbuy. accept nothing but sony. 1 wherever she talks at home when you are not around. the other under her car seat velcoed with heavy duty velcro. keylog the comp.


Sounds like she rides the bus, so that path may not be viable.


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## Dday (Mar 31, 2013)

CEL said:


> LOL just what the hell. I would D on just principle because that is some crazy shyte right there. Again LOL. So if she does that crap just file and and be done with it because crazy is contagious.


Lol I was actually impressed with her strength. When she was getting into shape she was taking kickboxing classes... I guess they work. 

I just think it shows how much effort she was putting into hiding this from me because she didn't want to lose me or the OM. When she was faced with either me or him she did write a NC and chose me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Dday said:


> I have done the grab the phone tactic and it didn't go well. First time she got it and locked herself in the bathroom and deleted everything.
> 
> The second time I got the phone and went to the bathroom and she kicked the door and got in. I was able to read messages but there wasn't anything bad. This led her to get a burner phone and extended the affair by another 7 months
> 
> ...


war open ?

I am surprised that you jumped into reconciliation as fast as you did after what happened. A man would have been put away for DV get a RO if he did that to a woman.

Dday, curious but is that your first brush with infidelity ?


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## Dday (Mar 31, 2013)

warlock07 said:


> war open ?
> 
> I am surprised that you jumped into reconciliation as fast as you did after what happened. A man would have been put away for DV get a RO if he did that to a woman.
> 
> Dday, curious but is that your first brush with infidelity ?


Meant to say ear.... I think it was her engagement ring that got me. 

I have been with my wife since we were 16. She kissed another guy while we were in high school. We had a short break, I cheated while we were in college once. She never found out and I just admitted recently as she was being so honest about everything, I did not want anymore secrets between us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Here's hoping Luke isn't sitting in the cooler on a domestic assault charge for going for the phone.


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> Here's hoping Luke isn't sitting in the cooler on a domestic assault charge for going for the phone.


LOL funniest thing said today.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

CEL said:


> LOL funniest thing said today.


I doubt it was a joke. Things like that happen too frequently. 

C


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

I wonder if anyone has ever bought a phone of the same model and even same case and put it in place of WS's cell. There must be some software that will record the incorrect login, which is the right log in for the WS. The spy program would then text the password. The cheater would go off trying to figure out what is wrong while the BS could read in piece. Sounds like an app that would sell.


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## lukeh (May 10, 2013)

Not in the cooler guys lol!!! Just between a rock and a hard place last few days! I haven't got the opportunity to get the phone yet but I have the feeling that she knows am on to her! We had an argument and I asked her to be plain and tell me "do u want this marriage?" Up till this moment am waiting for an answer! As the days past I was being very brief with her as she slowly got cherry with me! I act normal and answer questions when asked that's about it, No small talk! She acts like if we sorted our problems out when indeed the problems are still there.....while she is acting like nothing wrong I decided to ask her to use her phone as I purposely misplaced mine! She blatantly said no especially after I explained how important the call would be to my office she still declined I then said sarcasticly "just imagine I can't get a 30sec call from my wife! How should I feel not like there's something to hide" she replied. " U could fell how u want!" I just got into a silent rage! Emotions started flowing as I got into my car and ripped out the drive way I was MAD and in shock ans the reality hit me that this woman has gone beyond my trust! I NEED CONFIRMATION! How should I act arround her or how should I not act....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jh52 (Apr 29, 2012)

lukeh said:


> Not in the cooler guys lol!!! Just between a rock and a hard place last few days! I haven't got the opportunity to get the phone yet but I have the feeling that she knows am on to her! We had an argument and I asked her to be plain and tell me "do u want this marriage?" Up till this moment am waiting for an answer! As the days past I was being very brief with her as she slowly got cherry with me! I act normal and answer questions when asked that's about it, No small talk! She acts like if we sorted our problems out when indeed the problems are still there.....while she is acting like nothing wrong I decided to ask her to use her phone as I purposely misplaced mine! She blatantly said no especially after I explained how important the call would be to my office she still declined I then said sarcasticly "just imagine I can't get a 30sec call from my wife! How should I feel not like there's something to hide" she replied. " U could fell how u want!" I just got into a silent rage! Emotions started flowing as I got into my car and ripped out the drive way I was MAD and in shock ans the reality hit me that this woman has gone beyond my trust! I NEED CONFIRMATION! How should I act arround her or how should I not act....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


WOW -- 3 years into the marriage and she can't answer if she want to stay married.

Sorry but you got your answer with her silence. You can't fix/save your marriage by yourself -- just take care of yourself and child.


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## walkonmars (Aug 21, 2012)

You need confirmation? This pretty much confirms it:



lukeh said:


> ...I decided to ask her to use her phone as I purposely misplaced mine! *She blatantly said no* especially after I explained how important the call would be to my office she still declined I then said sarcasticly "just imagine I can't get a 30sec call from my wife! How should I feel not like there's something to hide" *she replied. " U could fell how u want!"* ...



Tell her you feel like a mushroom. Being covered in sh1t and kept in the dark. But that from this day forward you will feel like a valuable human in open daylight. Either as a husband or as a single man. 

Tell her she can hand the phone over or pound sand. Of course, by now she has deleted whatever she thinks will incriminate her. Take some time off and follow her. 

Has she been late coming home since that Friday?


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## Remains (Jan 24, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> You need to go download "No More Makin' Sammiches" by Kay I. Amdum. You need to read every word 5x and then read it again. You need to eat jello pudding pops and understand that the digestive system is what is making him do this. It's alllllll about the digestive system and don't think it's not. The rationalization kangaroo is bouncing up and down up and down and you don't even have a f'ng pogo stick, woman!
> 
> What's your body like? You need to strive for the Golden Ratio 36-25-36 if you want to up your sexy rank. If you aren't doing this, then you need to start now. Go buy some dumbells and horseshoes immediately at Walmart and the feed store. These will help build the breasts that you need.
> 
> ...


Ahhhh Dig! The only time I have laughed out loud, in a prolonged manner, to a post. Brilliant! Love it! Please cut and paste at regular intervals in a fitting manner while wearing shades and smoking a cigarette while drinking whisky in a cool 1950's manner.....

Ooops, sorry, cigarettes and alcohol are no longer cool are they. Ok, eating a celery stick while drinking a long cool healthy fruit and vegetable smoothie with acai berries mixed in for a fuller flavour!


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

lukeh said:


> Not in the cooler guys lol!!! Just between a rock and a hard place last few days! I haven't got the opportunity to get the phone yet but I have the feeling that she knows am on to her! We had an argument and I asked her to be plain and tell me "do u want this marriage?" Up till this moment am waiting for an answer! As the days past I was being very brief with her as she slowly got cherry with me! I act normal and answer questions when asked that's about it, No small talk! She acts like if we sorted our problems out when indeed the problems are still there.....while she is acting like nothing wrong I decided to ask her to use her phone as I purposely misplaced mine! She blatantly said no especially after I explained how important the call would be to my office she still declined I then said sarcasticly "just imagine I can't get a 30sec call from my wife! How should I feel not like there's something to hide" she replied. " U could fell how u want!" I just got into a silent rage! Emotions started flowing as I got into my car and ripped out the drive way I was MAD and in shock ans the reality hit me that this woman has gone beyond my trust! I NEED CONFIRMATION! How should I act arround her or how should I not act....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Dude, you are screwing everything up! With actions like you're performing, OF COURSE she knows you're on to her. These little innuendo's are only teaching her to hide her affair better! If she feels you tense and on your guard, she's going to be the same way.

SO! You have to act like a clueless idiot. I mean, an Oscar worthy performance. The more she thinks she's pulling the wool over your eyes; the more she thinks you're clueless, then the more she's going to relax. And THAT'S when she'll make a mistake.

Someone already suggested that you put a keylogger on your computer. Do this. See who she's communicating with. Then, invest in some VAR's (voice activated recorder's). Hide one in your house. In a room where she usually talks on the phone. If you have a car, then go to the hardware store and get some heavy duty Velcro. Then, secure a VAR under the drivers seat. Most cheater communicate while driving. If you do have a car, you can buy a mini GPS tracker that you can hide in the car and it will give you real time locations. So, if she tells you she's going to the mall, you can get on the computer and see the car is parked at a Apartment Complex somewhere....well, that's not the mall.

However, it sounds like she uses public transportation. Which is problematic. One person bought a micro recorder and hid it in the lining of her purse to catch his wife. However, micro recorders are very expensive and you stand a higher chance of getting caught.

You can also review your credit card bills and see if there's any unusual purchases on them. If there are, DO NOT CONFRONT HER WITH IT!!! It's not the smoking gun you're looking for and can easily be explained away. You keep it to re-enforce your positive evidence. 

Just remember, be the happy go lucky, clueless idiot and you stand a better chance catching her with her guard down.


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## Broken_in_Brooklyn (Feb 21, 2013)

lukeh said:


> Not in the cooler guys lol!!! Just between a rock and a hard place last few days! I haven't got the opportunity to get the phone yet but I have the feeling that she knows am on to her! We had an argument and I asked her to be plain and tell me "do u want this marriage?" Up till this moment am waiting for an answer! As the days past I was being very brief with her as she slowly got cherry with me! I act normal and answer questions when asked that's about it, No small talk! She acts like if we sorted our problems out when indeed the problems are still there.....while she is acting like nothing wrong I decided to ask her to use her phone as I purposely misplaced mine! *She blatantly said no especially after I explained how important the call would be to my office she still declined* I then said sarcasticly "just imagine I can't get a 30sec call from my wife! How should I feel not like there's something to hide" she replied. " U could fell how u want!" I just got into a silent rage! Emotions started flowing as I got into my car and ripped out the drive way I was MAD and in shock ans the reality hit me that this woman has gone beyond my trust! I NEED CONFIRMATION! How should I act arround her or how should I not act....
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That says it all.


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## Mr Blunt (Jul 18, 2012)

> I NEED CONFIRMATION! How should I act around her or how should I not act....


Act whichever ways think that your wife will let down her guard. You know her better than any of us. Just DO NOT let your emotions harm your plan. That may mean you may have to eat some anger.

Maybe make up an excuse for you to be out of town for a few days. *That may allow her to feel safe and she will do what she has been doing that she does not want you to know*. Then you can hire a person to get CONFIRMATION.

Maybe after she thinks you are out of town she will leave the phone in her room at night and you can sneak in and steal it.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

lukeh said:


> We had an argument and I asked her to be plain and tell me "do u want this marriage?" Up till this moment am waiting for an answer!


You already got your answer. Really. No direct answer to this is an answere indeed.

Sorry man. I know you need the smoking gun to pull the trigger even when her not-answers speak volumes. Hope you get the evidence as fast as you can. But to get it you need to stop making those false confrontations. They serve no porpouse, as a matter of fact make you weaker at her eyes and will make her go underground. Sure enough she will be sure to "clean" everything.

As you didn't say a word about the ohone bill I asume it's not a possibility for some reason.


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey Luke----you got all the confirmation, you needed----WHEN YOUR WIFE REFUSED YOUR REQUEST FOR YOU TO USE HER PHONE

There is NO PRIVACY in a mge---that's what SHE agreed to when she took HOLY VOWS WITH YOU---she wanted privacy she should have stayed single

There is absolutely NO REASON ON THIS PLANET OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR HER TO REFUSE YOU USE OF THE PHONE, UNLESS SHE IS CHEATING, OR HIDING SOMETHING ELSE

There is spose to be NOTHING HIDDEN TWEEN SPOUSES

You need to sit her down, and let her know where you stand on things-----tell her she is cheating, and both of you know it---if she says no---then tell her you wanna see her phone right then and there, without her deleting or doing anything to that phone---if she refuses, then tell her---you assume then that she does not wanna stay married

Again---you tell her spouses in a mge, ARE AN OPEN BOOK TO EACH OTHER---AND THERE IS NOTHING TO HIDE!!!!!!!!!!


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Remains said:


> Ahhhh Dig! The only time I have laughed out loud, in a prolonged manner, to a post. Brilliant! Love it! Please cut and paste at regular intervals in a fitting manner while wearing shades and smoking a cigarette while drinking whisky in a cool 1950's manner.....
> 
> Ooops, sorry, cigarettes and alcohol are no longer cool are they. Ok, eating a celery stick while drinking a long cool healthy fruit and vegetable smoothie with acai berries mixed in for a fuller flavour!


While I do not smoke, I do enjoy my whiskey. I will do my best to try to remember where this is and copy/paste at appropriate, yet select moments. Glad you enjoyed it!


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

sigh

VAR and GPS already. SONY ICDPX312 VAR


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

You know that she is cheating on you. I would suggest that you:
1. Get tested for STD's
2. See a lawyer for a consultation. This will empower you so you will understand your various options at play.

After only 3 years it is pretty obvious you picked a lemon.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Do you know anyone at her workplace? Buy a pen var and stick it in her purse since she takes the bus.


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## Overthemoon88 (Jan 10, 2013)

jh52 said:


> WOW -- 3 years into the marriage and she can't answer if she want to stay married.
> 
> Sorry but you got your answer with her silence. You can't fix/save your marriage by yourself -- just take care of yourself and child.


:iagree:


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## lovely2011 (May 28, 2013)

If you play like you don't know anything you are wasting YOUR time! Why would you act like she's miss innocent while she's out there 'sleeping on the bus" or whatever. Just sit her happy butt down tell her that you know she's cheating, look at her dang phone, break the damn thing and tell her to kiss your butt and get the heck out of your house and get her crap together before she even approaches you. Why make YOURSELF look like an idiot when she's just being a....whats the word? Be a MAN! After 3 years, she needs to know who the man is in the relationship and obviously she's not thinking it's you if she can just say no to a simple phone call! And then in the mean time call yourself a lawyer so you know wth you're going to do. Don't let her walk all over you, there's no reason for it. After all you are not the one doing anything wrong now are ya?


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