# The Art of Not being Offended....



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I stumbled upon this article in my search for other links relating to things I was posting about...

I loved this, this is generally how I THINK when others say hurtful things, most especially strangers -many times it has absolutely nothing to do with us -of coarse sometimes it might -if we contributed to their irritation -so we have to have wisdom... just wanted to share this. 




> The Art of Not Being Offended...
> 
> There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries. They rarely talk about it, but they use it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. This secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. In order to truly be a master of this art, one must be able to see that every statement, action and reaction of another human being is the sum result of their total life experience to date. In other words, the majority of people in our world say and do what they do from their own set of fears, conclusions, defenses and attempts to survive. Most of it, even when aimed directly at us, has nothing to do with us. Usually, it has more to do with all the other times, and in particular the first few times, that this person experienced a similar situation, usually when they were young.
> 
> ...


Lightworks - The Monthly Aspectarian March, 2005


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## RDJ (Jun 8, 2011)

Very nice SA,

I do my best to live by this, it was the first and most important step in changing myself, and my sexless marriage.

Thanks for posting it!


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

Thank you for posting this! I so needed it! :smthumbup:


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Hits home with me, as well.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Love it!

Thanks for sharing!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

I often will tell the offending person calmly that their statement says more about them than myself. Maybe they are wrongly commenting about another. But it is very true that some assumptions folks make about others may or may not be wise, but rather an indictment of themselves. I do not think this is an absolute by any means. Sometimes peoples comments have much truth in them even if they are cutting. That said it does not mean that they are wise or kind to verbalize things in an abusive way.

Moreover, many seemingly contradictory views can co-exist and all be valid. I am not talking perception is reality here. I am saying that the perception may actually be fully truthful. Just not the only valid truth. 

Good thread.


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## 2sick (Nov 5, 2010)

SA, That is soo unbelievably true...and yet so hard to do sometimes! Great thing to think about. Life is already hard why make it even harder? 
Thanks for sharing such an optimistic quote.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Entropy3000 said:


> I often will tell the offending person calmly that their statement says more about them than myself.


 Ha ha , you are a bold one, I often THINK THIS for sure ...but I don't outright tell them that, even in calmness that might not go over so well. 



> I do not think this is an absolute by any means. *Sometimes peoples comments have much truth in them even if they are cutting. *That said it does not mean that they are wise or kind to verbalize things in an abusive way.


 I accually felt some of this talk was not mentioned in the article, I wholeheartily agree with you here! I often think we can do some of our deepest learning -if we are careful to paying attention & evaluate -even what our harshest critics are saying to us, about us. Although I no longer consider myself a Bible thumper, there will always be many many many scriptures I love & consider pure wisdom...this is one of them--I have never forgotten it -from the 1st time I read it in my teens. 

*Proverbs 9: 8-9... *
Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning. 

Proverbs 25: Learning to Value Criticism

Prov 9:8-9 - The Wise Take Criticism l Short Daily Bible Devotions

Of coarse we can all get offended, if that stops, it probably means we are numb somehow, which is no good either...we still need to FEEL.....it is , after all, what we do with it. Evaluate it for what the comment was worth, who it was coming from , and their motives behind it. 

I can't think of a worse offending comment from a teen -in a moment of devilish goofing off as this... 

I have this single Mom GF, she has spoiled her son rotten over the years, he got in with the wrong crowd , into the whole Insane Clown Posse movement, considers himself a "Juggalo".... he was with one of his friends in the backseat of the car one day driving to pick up her keys where her new BF worked. This would be thier 1st meeting of each other. Her son & her new BF. 

When you get 2 devious idiots together, you never know what might fly out of their mouths... they were looking for a rise ... so her son walks up to him and says "What's up Chicken F*ck*r?" She wanted to crawl under a rock and die & He was surely not amused. 

Some only need to open their mouth with a word or 2 & it SCREAMS their character. 

I'm almost embarrassed to say I know them!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

timely, thank you!


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

so... I should stop punching people in the face.

Got it.


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## Ayan (Nov 26, 2011)

I love this ! Thanx for posting !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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