# Don't know how much longer I can deal with things...



## grifter723 (Feb 25, 2016)

New to this forum, but not new to the madness in my mind.

I have been married for 2 years now. We dated in high school, broke up my senior year, then 20 years later found each other again. She was in several abusive relationships, and was married to a raging alcoholic and prescription drug abuser as well as control freak. I helped her get through things in her divorce, then we started dating again.

Fast forward to today and I am at my wits end. I know I love my wife, but I am not in love with her if that makes any sense. I kind of put myself in the position where I do everything for her, quite literally. All she does basically is go to work and come home. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, maintenance, and everything else at home. I don't really mind it...but here is where I just don't know what to do anymore.

She has a job that she is good at but, but she drives almost an hour one way to get there, and then deals with a lot of stress while there which at times brings on migraines. But she is about to loose her job because she is always missing work due to migraine headaches. Everyone else in her office gets them, and have seen how bad hers are first hand, yet her bosses are still writing her up for missing work due to them even though she has sick/vacation time to cover her absence and always manages to keep her workload up to date and puts out high quality work...catch 22. Granted, we're talking she will be out 2-3 days a time, sometimes several times a month. When that happens, I am more nursemaid than husband. Constantly waiting on her, dealing with her yelling at me because I can't hear her in the other room because she is talking so softly, and staying up all night because she says she is going to throw up and never does. I loose sleep over it and rarely sleep as it is. I am a teacher but am between schools so I am substituting right now which basically only pays minimum wage, so her loosing her job would totally screw us, which is where problem number two comes up.

I know she resents that I am only substituting right now and she thinks I should have gone and gotten a normal job in the interim. But that would have made it extremely difficult to keep my foot in the door to get a classroom again, plus I hate the corporate world. I worked hard for many years to be a teacher, and even though she says she won't tell me what to do, she makes comments to the contrary at times. Especially when money gets tight. She says it isn't anyone's fault, but I know she doesn't mean it. We fight over lack of money a lot, as if I don't have enough pressure over my head with dealing with everything else at home, including her and her near unemployment status.

Then there is the intimacy issue.,...or extreme lack thereof. There is none. At. All. When we were dating, we were intimate a few times, but it was really rather boring. It was yet another case where I did everything and she did very little even despite talking about what we grew to enjoy sexually. But in the last 3 1/2 years I can count the number of times we have had sex on one hand and have fingers left over. The last time she even touched me was October 2014, and before that September 2013. We couldn't even consummate our marriage in November 2013 cause she got sick that night from drinking one too many martinis! It wasn't until almost a year after we were married that we had sex as a married couple. Yet she makes comments like she is glad I am not "all about sex" when she makes no efforts at intimacy, then tells my parents Christmas Eve she wants to have a kid. I don't mind that, but where does she think having a kid starts with? The one thing she doesn't do!

Having another child is something I always wanted (had a daughter in my first marriage, but she is 20 now), but my wife is in absolutely ZERO shape to have one. She is almost 130-140 pounds overweight, gets winded walking up half a flight of stairs, constant migraines, high blood pressure, back pain, digestive issues, constant fatigue, doesn't exercise or eat right regardless of how many times she says she needs to...and she wants to have a baby?!?! 

I am constantly on her to do something about it. I make recommendations on what wee can do together to help with her weight, to get healthy, to put her in a position where she can do what she wants...but she doesn't do it. She comes home, gets comfy, and sits on the sofa watching TV and playing games on her iPad...which then gets me doing the same thing eventually as well because I don't want her to get mad. Sometimes I go work in the office on my school stuff for my Masters, but then she just stays there on the sofa. We have a gym membership, she hasn't gone yet and I have little time to go myself between working, school, and taking care of her, but I'm not in as bad a shape as she is. 

I literally have no idea what to do anymore. I find myself at times wanting out of the marriage, but don't want to hurt her by doing so because I know it would devastate her in every way imaginable. Sometimes I find myself thinking of ways to get away from her, like moving overseas or something else just as stupid. And have friends telling me I owe her nothing anymore, and one of my female friends recently told me she would give me the intimacy I have been missing since she has always wanted to be with me anyway...which took me by surprise. Not that I would while I am married, but still caught me off guard.

So here I am....stuck between a rock and a hard place. Nothing I say to her is making any difference, nothing I do i helping fix things, I am basically a prisoner in a prison of my own making. Question is....what do I do about it?


----------



## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Well, I slogged my way through your entire post, just waiting for it... waiting for it... and then BAM!!! There it was! You said:



grifter723 said:


> ...and one of my female friends *recently told me she would give me the intimacy I have been missing* since she has always wanted to be with me anyway...


An affair a'brewing!

Believe it or not, your story is not as uncommon as you think. We've seen some version of this same dynamic many times here.

Your wife sounds atrocious. She's obese, lazy, barely holding on to her job, and she sounds like a major hypochondriac to boot.

Why in the world did you marry her? You said sex was boring before you even got married.

You have no kids together.

You already know what you need to do. File for divorce. But for crying out loud, do it BEFORE you take the friend up on her offer to have sex with you...


----------



## grifter723 (Feb 25, 2016)

Yes, I said one of my friends wanted to give me what I was missing, but I also said I wouldn't as long as I am married...and she knows this, and respects it. 


Is she atrocious....not in my mind, or at least by definition. I married her because I did love her and did want to be with her. I hoped things would get better but they just didn't, at least not physically. There was a period before we got married that stress from too many bills and too little money almost tore us apart, but we weathered that storm. But now I am weathering this storm in silence. 

Do I have it in me to divorce her....i don't know. I do know if I did that it would devastate her totally and completely, and that is not something she needs right now, especially with everything hanging over her head with her job, plus her mother is also in late stages of Alzheimer's as well. 

I know if I did I could do so with a clean break and be on my own again, and I already spent over 10 years alone (not wanting to go there again, but do what you gotta do, right)...but right now with my income I couldn't do it and survive financially myself. So I am kind of trapped.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Divorce her now while you have no kids. Once the kids come, divorce will be such a financial devistation for you, you will never be able to get rid of her.


----------



## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

You know what you need to do, divorce her. I know it's hard, it took me years to leave my wife. We didn't have sex for the past 4 years. But we have two young kids, so the logistics and financials just plain sucks. You're lucky you don't have this! Eventually, you just can't take it anymore and need to make yourself happy. Wish you luck. You aren't alone!


----------



## Confused11374 (Feb 24, 2016)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Confused11374 (Feb 24, 2016)

Of course she'll be devastated, she'll no longer have someone to do everything for her. What are you getting out of this marriage? Seems like she's the only one who is benefiting. Leave before you are further trapped which will happen the longer you wait
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

With just two years in the marriage, you really do not have much invested in this and divorce is a viable option.

A few related comments. Get your wife a better doctor on the migraines. See a neurologist. As for the other symptoms and high weight, she very seriously needs closer doctor care and needs to be checked for liver disease. I say this because lovely Mrs Blue (20+ yr marriage) has all these symptoms, including the migraines. She lost the weight because of the now serious medical conditions. Your wife's physical health will only get worse, trust me on that. The Ipad games (same here, with MY Ipad) would indicate depression, again speaking from my situation, so might not apply to yours. And your wife's nausea is real too, either from the migraines or the other medical conditions. Talk to her doctor about Gastroparesis. I am very active in my wife's medical treatment and go to every doctor appointment to make sure she gets the best care possible. She and you are the ONLY ones who can make that happen. 

As for "and one of my female friends recently told me she would give me the intimacy I have been missing since she has always wanted to be with me anyway" be careful with that. I have one of these female "friends" too, not physical intimacy although not because of me, but I have emotional bond with her which I am trying to shed. You can really end up with either EA or PA on this, regardless of what you think now. Don't believe the "Not that I would while I am married". Affairs only happen to other people, right? I used to think that too. 

Sorry if too much of me in this post, but your situation is very very similar to mine. Private message me if you want to discuss more about medical issues (five years of knowledge on these) , and your issue with female friend. I hope that I can help both you and your wife. If you just want divorce, I cannot help you there.


----------



## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

happy as a clam said:


> She's obese, lazy, barely holding on to her job, *and she sounds like a major hypochondriac to boot.*


I used to believe that too. Almost my exact words to Mrs Blue. Five years and 100+ doctor/hospital visits later proved me very wrong. The weight gain, lack of energy, migraines, lack of sex drive, everything else were ALL related. One of my major regrets in my life is that I did not catch this problem earlier. Neither did the doctors, but that is another story.

OP's wife as he describes is my wife six years ago, even down to the age.

If I can help just one person or one couple in similar situation I will be :smile2::smile2::smile2::smile2:

Easy to divorce her. Harder to honor the "in sickness and in health" part.


----------



## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

You got yourself into this mess. You knew she has migraines, was overweight and not good in bed when you married her. Now that you have someone else in mind it's a problem. She probably doesn't want to have sex with you not only because of her migraines, but she isn't comfortable with her weight and she doesn't respect you for not supporting the family. It sounds like you have a White Knight complex where you wanted to rescue her. You aren't going to be able to get her to lose weight or get rid of her migraines. If you don't want to stay married then don't but leave because you aren't happy in the marriage not because you have another women interested. That's common with men. You need to be alone for a while and figure out why you aren't good at marriage. It sounds like you are 40 years old and are on your second divorce.


----------



## grifter723 (Feb 25, 2016)

Happilymarried25 said:


> You got yourself into this mess. You knew she has migraines, was overweight and not good in bed when you married her. Now that you have someone else in mind it's a problem. She probably doesn't want to have sex with you not only because of her migraines, but she isn't comfortable with her weight and she doesn't respect you for not supporting the family. It sounds like you have a White Knight complex where you wanted to rescue her. You aren't going to be able to get her to lose weight or get rid of her migraines. If you don't want to stay married then don't but leave because you aren't happy in the marriage not because you have another women interested. That's common with men. You need to be alone for a while and figure out why you aren't good at marriage. It sounds like you are 40 years old and are on your second divorce.


WHOA!! Hold your horses there! Where in what I said did I ever say I didn't support the family? I never said I had someone else in mind, and am most certainly not thinking of leaving her because someone else is interested in me! 

And quite the leap to go from what I said to making a statement like "figure out why you're not good at marriage." If anything, I totally rock the marriage part of being supportive and loving her....but it looks like you just wanted to read into it what you wanted to support your own skewed opinion. 

Maybe you have a few things you are bitter about and are looking to take it out on someone else perhaps?


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Look up the threads of a poster on this forum named CopperTop you will see exactly what the future holds for you.


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

you've already answered your own question i think.

leave her or continue to live in misery.

leaving her does not have to mean divorce, although for most people it does.
separation is a non-divorce option, but most people would not be able to handle it.

listen; i was where you are at some years ago. i lived with a crazy, abusive, woman with endless ailments.
i was a white knight. and like you, i did love her. i still do, in a far off sense.
she needed me, probably more than your wife needs you. so i thought.

i had the same choice as you. live in misery or leave.

i left. i am so much better off now you wouldn't believe if i told you.

and her? no more contact, but from what i hear, she's doing very well. better than when she was with me.
see; she didn't need me near what i thought.


----------



## Confused11374 (Feb 24, 2016)

grifter723 said:


> WHOA!! Hold your horses there! Where in what I said did I ever say I didn't support the family? I never said I had someone else in mind, and am most certainly not thinking of leaving her because someone else is interested in me!
> 
> And quite the leap to go from what I said to making a statement like "figure out why you're not good at marriage." If anything, I totally rock the marriage part of being supportive and loving her....but it looks like you just wanted to read into it what you wanted to support your own skewed opinion.
> 
> Maybe you have a few things you are bitter about and are looking to take it out on someone else perhaps?


If you are having discussions with a woman who isn't your wife about the idea of having sex together, you have someone else in mind. 

And taking care of your wife as it she were a child with special needs isn't marriage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

OP, you're what we would call a white knight. Someone with KISA (knight in shining armor) Syndrome is looking for a DID (damsel in distress) to save. As such, one of the things that attracted you to your wife was her level of neediness. The illness, the obesity, the depression. You say you helped her through some things in her divorce from her abusive alcoholic ex-husband. Some part of you found the concept of helping her, saving her, very appealing. Even your acceptance of a lack of a good sexual relationship pre-marriage speaks to your KISA tendencies. She was too fragile, too sick, too broken, too whatever for you to insist upon your own needs being met - and you _liked_ that. You liked feeling like you were doing her the great honor of bestowing upon her yourself and your healing love, while asking nothing in return. 

Now, though, it's time for her to fulfill her part of the KISA-DID covert contract. Now that you've been a good, patient, savior for a while and taken on all this responsibility for her damaged self - by God she's supposed to pay you back! It's time for her to be healed by your magical love. And you're starting to resent that she is herself - who she's always been. Some part of you expected her to change in recompense for your devotion and willingness to save her. 

The thing is, though, that she's still damaged. You're still damaged. The dynamic the two of you share is still damaged. Marrying her wasn't doing her a favor that she now owes you for. It was you being a KISA and her being a DID. 

By the way, you seem to have reacted very strongly to the suggestion that you are bad at marriage. I will not repeat that sentiment. Because I think it's not your ability to be married that is broken, but rather your ability to both be a healthy partner and pick a healthy mate. Your woman-picker is broken. You need to figure out how to stop being a KISA, so that you're no longer so strongly drawn to distressed damsels that you're willing to ignore very obvious red flags.


----------



## grifter723 (Feb 25, 2016)

Confused11374 said:


> If you are having discussions with a woman who isn't your wife about the idea of having sex together, you have someone else in mind.
> 
> And taking care of your wife as it she were a child with special needs isn't marriage.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I can have discussions with this woman because I have known her for the better part of 20 years. That doesn't mean I have someone else in mind. It means I had a great friend I could talk to about things that were bothering me. By your logic, the fact that she was talking to me about the issues she was having with the men she dated over the last 20 years meant she had someone else in mind then too.

And yes, she has what seems like an endless number of medical issues....but to compare her to a special needs child?! Seriously!? I'm done with you.


----------



## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

grifter723 said:


> WHOA!! Hold your horses there! Where in what I said did I ever say I didn't support the family? I never said I had someone else in mind, and am most certainly not thinking of leaving her because someone else is interested in me!
> 
> And quite the leap to go from what I said to making a statement like "figure out why you're not good at marriage." If anything, I totally rock the marriage part of being supportive and loving her....but it looks like you just wanted to read into it what you wanted to support your own skewed opinion.
> 
> Maybe you have a few things you are bitter about and are looking to take it out on someone else perhaps?


No I'm not bitter about anything, I have been married to the same man for 27 years. I mean financially supporting the family. You wouldn't be worried about her loosing her job if you made enough to support her and you. Women loose respect for their man when they have to be the main breadwinner. If I lost my job my husband could support all of us with no problem. He isn't worried about it. You are supporting her physically but you aren't going to do it forever. Most men aren't good caretakers. It sounded like you are thinking of leaving her and I bet you do when some other women comes into the picture. Then you will be twice divorced at age 40 and that's not a good record.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Happilymarried25 said:


> No I'm not bitter about anything, I have been married to the same man for 27 years. I mean financially supporting the family. You wouldn't be worried about her loosing her job if you made enough to support her and you. *SOME *Women loose respect for their man when they have to be the main breadwinner.


Speak for yourself, sister.


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

grifter723 said:


> And yes, she has what seems like an endless number of medical issues....but to compare her to a special needs child?! Seriously!? I'm done with you.


I guess that it seems to me that she acts like a special needs child. One lesson that you need to learn, I am thinking, is that caring needn't mean the degree that you are doing it to. It's ok to set limits on behavior. What are you getting out of this marriage? What are your hopes? Because it seems like there never has been a functioning relationship to "fix". She was broken when you got her. There never has been any intimacy. There is no fixing something that was never there.


----------



## hotshotdot (Jul 28, 2015)

Rowan said:


> OP, you're what we would call a white knight. Someone with KISA (knight in shining armor) Syndrome is looking for a DID (damsel in distress) to save. As such, one of the things that attracted you to your wife was her level of neediness. The illness, the obesity, the depression. You say you helped her through some things in her divorce from her abusive alcoholic ex-husband. Some part of you found the concept of helping her, saving her, very appealing. Even your acceptance of a lack of a good sexual relationship pre-marriage speaks to your KISA tendencies. She was too fragile, too sick, too broken, too whatever for you to insist upon your own needs being met - and you _liked_ that. You liked feeling like you were doing her the great honor of bestowing upon her yourself and your healing love, while asking nothing in return.
> 
> Now, though, it's time for her to fulfill her part of the KISA-DID covert contract. Now that you've been a good, patient, savior for a while and taken on all this responsibility for her damaged self - by God she's supposed to pay you back! It's time for her to be healed by your magical love. And you're starting to resent that she is herself - who she's always been. Some part of you expected her to change in recompense for your devotion and willingness to save her.
> 
> ...


Couldn't have said it better myself. You picked this woman the way she is, the problem is not her it's you. Now you need to get yourself into some counseling- to let go of your resentment toward her which is misguided (again, she didn't change, your expectations did), find better ways to communicate & motivate her, and also so you can learn to overcome your KISA syndrome. 

Additionally, you should never talk to another woman about your marriage, especially your sex life. It doesn't matter how long or how well you know her, it is inappropriate. That is precisely how affairs start, as you should be able to clearly see based on the offer you received from this friend.


----------



## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

grifter723 said:


> Yes, I said one of my friends wanted to give me what I was missing, but I also said I wouldn't as long as I am married...and she knows this, and respects it.
> 
> 
> Is she atrocious....not in my mind, or at least by definition. I married her because I did love her and did want to be with her. I hoped things would get better but they just didn't, at least not physically. There was a period before we got married that stress from too many bills and too little money almost tore us apart, but we weathered that storm. But now I am weathering this storm in silence.
> ...


There comes a time where you have to STOP worrying about things affecting other people, and concentrate on YOURSELF. Focusing on her has gotten you nowhere in life, sorry to say. Based on what you have described, the two of you had no business marrying in the first place, but whats done is done. It isn't a life sentence, you CAN get out, and you should get out.


----------



## betrayed2013 (Feb 5, 2013)

why the hell are you wasting time on a woman who clearly doesnt want to have sex with you? I mean, one year into your marriage and you have sex????? What????? Are you kidding me? Then you can count the number of times youv'e had sex on your one hand in the last 3 years? Am i reading that correctly? Im dating right now and i've had sex 3x this week already...think about the comparisons of what youre being fed....its ridiculous. You need to find someone that is better for you...divorce already!!! Why are you wasting time on someone who doesnt give a rats @#@ about you? You live once..take advantage before its too late


----------



## betrayed2013 (Feb 5, 2013)

and just wait till her mom passes away...she'll be a changed woman...then you're not going to be having sex with her for 5 more years. Guaranteed. Leave now pal.


----------



## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

grifter723 said:


> So here I am....stuck between a rock and a hard place. Nothing I say to her is making any difference, nothing I do i helping fix things, I am basically a prisoner in a prison of my own making. *Question is....what do I do about it?*


Hint... Nothing will change until you do!

Here's something you really can do about it... No More Mr Nice Guy


Best


----------



## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

@grifter723

In order for you to help yourself...you're going to need to help her. Helping her is NOT doing everything for her...that's actually the opposite. 

She's Overweight, Burnt Out, medical problems......If she could drop the weight...many of the other issues would begin to go away. 

You discuss trying to get her to exercise, eat right, etc...You won't be able to that by just talking about it. Start doing those things yourself. Everyday. It will take time, but she will start to notice....then get curious...then nervous...then paranoid....then she will start to follow your example. Once she see's you improving yourself -she won't be able to help herself...she will follow along. Even if she doesn't....you will be healthy, happy and a great version of you...for whatever the future holds. 

LEAD. You have to.


----------



## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

MarriedDude said:


> @grifter723
> 
> In order for you to help yourself...you're going to need to help her. Helping her is NOT doing everything for her...that's actually the opposite.
> 
> ...



^^I agree^^ Another thing, she should really see a headache specialist for her migraines. I get migraines BUT I have them very well controlled and they no longer leave me debilitated at all. I get Botox shots to prevent them (insurance pays for them) beyond that their are preventative medications and rescue medications that could control her migraines completely. She needs to see a good neurologist or go to a headache clinic. I used to be layed up in bed 10 days a month, I haven't lost one day or even more than an hour to a migraine in 10 years now.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

You know what the answer is. You want to leave your wife but don't make enough money to support yourself. So, get a higher paying job or take on a 2nd one. Your wife can look after herself if you work at night. She'll be doing so very shortly, anyway.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Why is nobody besides HM addressing the fact that OP is working for minimum wage while his wife works a demanding job that's giving her migraines and wrecking her health, to support both of them? He says himself that if she loses it they'll be screwed financially. Yet all anyone can do is bash her and go on about his sex life.

I can't imagine a guy with ED who was running himself ragged while his wife worked for minimum wage when she had other options getting bashed like this.

Yes OP, divorce her and support yourself. 

Your wife has plenty of faults she needs to address but you are not holding up your end of things either. You think you're supportive but you allow her to shoulder the financial burden and wreck her health while you substitute for minimum wage so you can "keep your foot in the classroom".

Get another job and do your part.....after that her health is on her and if nothing changes by all means be on your way.

Let your "friend" that is offering you intimacy support you.


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

I can't help having some of those thoughts, as well as his comments about her weight, and childbearing capabilities. I have issues, and i had kids just fine. Top weight i was around my pregnancies was 240. High... I know! But even when my husband was a jerk and cheating on me he never disparaged my weight OR the ability i had to have kids. 

OP you seem disgusted by her fat.... I feel for your wife a bit. the fat girl that i am cringes inside.  

May i ask you, what are her good qualities? Take your time and try to list 15 things you admire or appreciate about her.


----------



## threelittlestars (Feb 18, 2016)

Oh and your "friend" that offered to be there for you. She is no true friend. She is offering to tempt you into breaking vows. that is a viper my man. She is not a good friend of yours.


----------



## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Just how long have you been trying to get a full time teaching job? What age are you and your wife ? 

I get the sense you are "backseat" driving her. She needs exercise, you go for a long walk at night and get her to go with you. In every long term marriage at one point or another one spouse steps up. Sometimes it will be your wife but today your at bat. @lifeistooshort is dead on. 

Finally what is up with your user name "grifter" ? 

If you what your marriage to work keep posting here. Accept the the harsh responses as a challenge. If your looking for an echo chamber to support you committing adultery go to loveShack and post in their wayward section. You will find all the love and support you need. 

Your wife needs you, be there or move on. Decide.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

grifter723 said:


> New to this forum, but not new to the madness in my mind.
> 
> I have been married for 2 years now. We dated in high school, broke up my senior year, then 20 years later found each other again. She was in several abusive relationships, and was married to a raging alcoholic and prescription drug abuser as well as control freak. I helped her get through things in her divorce, then we started dating again.
> 
> ...


1. Get a job. Get a job that pays enough so that your wife doesn't feel like she is the only one supporting you two. 

2. Was your wife overweight before you got married? I'm betting yes. Did you know that migraine meds cause weight gain? Several of the health issues your wife has are related to weight, either before or after. Develop back problems, slow down, gain weight. Weigh a lot, develop back problems. Blood pressure meds cause weight gain, people who are over weight tend to need blood pressure meds. 

3. Women don't typically want to have sex with a man if they are financially supporting that man. I refer back to number 1, get a job.

4. You admitted that your sex life was lousy before you got married, that the first year you were married you only had sex once... Did I read that right? So this lack of sex life is nothing new. But what IS new is that it is bothering you. Did it start to bother you before or after this other woman suggested she could meet that need for you?

Your wife has some issues, to be sure. But it seems that she is under the impression your okay and happy with not having much sex.

It's highly unlikely anything about your wife will change very much. She will likely never want sex very often, and due to her weigh she may never be a wild cat in the sac, assuming she has body image problems and hates the way she looks.

She will always have migraine problems until after menopause, so that issue won't go away.

You should probably divorce if your sex life is not something you can put up with. But if you go the divorce path, you're going to need to get a job and so once again I refer back to number 1, get a job.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

jb02157 said:


> Divorce her now while you have no kids. Once the kids come, divorce will be such a financial devistation for you, you will never be able to get rid of her.


How could he be financially devastated if he doesn't have a job? Working minimum wage day subbing isn't going to pay many bills.


----------



## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Wow, EVERYONE in her office gets migraines? That's really odd. They haven't checked out if there's something wrong with the building or coming through the air vents?


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> How could he be financially devastated if he doesn't have a job? Working minimum wage day subbing isn't going to pay many bills.


Well that doesn't mean he's going to be unemployed for the rest of his life.


----------

