# He's Becoming Disrespectful!



## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

Good Afternoon All,

Like the rest of you, I'm experiencing a dilemma. My Husband and I are approaching our 1-year wedding anniversary. However, it has been nothing but issue after issue since the day we married. To make a long story short and cut to my immediate problem, we're having unresolved issues about timing!

For whatever reason, he now feels as though he can come and go as he pleases! When he leaves, he never calls and never checks on me and his 15-month old daughter... I usually don't know where he is or if he's okay until he comes home!

Now, I'm pretty sure this will land us in divorce court and SOON! I find this behavior highly disrespectful! He never says where he's going or when he'll be back... My position in all of this is, if you can't give details on what you're doing or where you're going, maybe you shouldn't be doing it or going there at all! And what are you doing that prevents you from making sure your wife and child are okay (especially since he leaves hrs at a time)...

I don't know if there's an affair going on or not. And while his behavior is not a weekly or even a monthly thing, I'm still beyond furious about it! I've TRIED talking to him about it. We've argued about it several times. And although not often, it's still happening which still doesn't make it okay! 

I don't believe that adults should put curfews on each other... But if you're leaving your home at 9pm to "go out." There's no reason you should be walking back into your sleeping household later than 3:30a.m.! And if you plan on doing so, put in a call or text!

Any advice before I find an attorney???

Details:

We're both 29.
First time marriage/serious relationship for us both.
First child for us both.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Yes, he`s disrespecting you in a big way.

Put a VAR under his car seat to see if he`s fooling around.

Gather whatever evidence of his doings as you can to see if you can tell what he`s up to.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

Been there.. Don't get no better. Mines would tell me he is grown and don't live with his mother. Until he come home at 5am and the locks was changed. I was financial able to do so and I was done with nonsense. 

I would try MC if he willing before it get too late to fix because your resentment will continue to build.


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

Don't laught at me, Tacoma! But what is a VAR???


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

JustWhy... I'm currently prepared to move out next month. I can't deal! I've always been on my own... I've never had to deal with foolishness and I'm not going to continue dealing with this! I've tried to get this right. But he's a knucklehead that's determined to do things his way! I don't see it changing!


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

And I'm not going to play the, "You did it. So, I'm going to do it back," game. I'm raising a young daughter. I want her to know right from wrong EARLY on! I refuse to keep arguing and taking her through this petty bs over the same issue! If he wanted to run the street, he should've stayed single!


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

Good luck.. I know what you mean


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

Thank you, JustWhy! If it's not too personal, was your Husband having an affair?


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

no and yes..
he met girls but he would never call them and if he did once. No affairs.


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

Oh okay... So it was just more about the attention? My Husband is that way. His arrogance has always attracted women. I've known him since elementary. While I don't like the arrogance, it doesn't take away from who he is... Up until now. I've never come across voicemails, numbers or anything that says there could be an affair.... And he never tries to restrict me or what I do. But I wonder if that's just to justify what he does... Either way, something has to give. Thank you for answering, JustWhy.


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## LostWifeCrushed (Feb 7, 2012)

Yes, that's very disrespectful and selfish. My husband has done this. Does it happen after a fight or just out of the blue?

Mine used to call to say he was going out with the guys from work (around 6) and not answer his phone ALL NIGHT. Then he would come home several hours after he said he would be home and say something like, "OK, let me have it". 

OMG, he said he felt like he was "a kid getting in trouble". Its irresponsible and no way for a husband to behave. 

And yours is a new father? Totally unacceptable.

I've done it also, after I had enough, and I agree with you, two wrongs don't make a right. 

But hey-----you should go out and have a good time and leave him at home with the family responsibilities he has expected you to shoulder while he is doing whatever he is doing.


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## HisMrs83 (Aug 8, 2011)

Thank you for your response, LostWifeCrushed... It's usually out of the blue. For the most part, we don't argue. It's just this one thing that we can't agree on! So, it's not like a "get back at you" method he uses when he gets pissed. I promise it's like he has ADHD. He can't keep still! But I won't let that be an excuse to roam all times of night.

He doesn't mind that I go out. He encourages me to to "let off steam/stress." He's not lazy by any means. He helps take care of our daughter (bathe, dress, change diapers, etc.), cooks and cleans. But we still have to have a mutual respect about what time we come in.


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