# How would you react? when other guys are rude to your lady



## roamingmind (Jul 20, 2011)

Was talking to a girl friend and she was upset ---

She and her bf were strolling down along a lake where people jog, walk their dogs...etc. The main road runs along the riverwalk. A guy in a coming truck stuck his head out and yelled at her " Show your tits" when passing them. My friend was very upset. But her boyfriend didn't say anything or have any reaction until he noticed she was upset . Even then, he was saying " it's those people who probably wouldn't dare to raise their voice in person; it's not worth getting upset". 

The friend said she was even more upset with her bf's reaction ---of course she didn't expect him to chase the guy down or have a fist fight with him. What bothered her is 1) her bf didn't seem to be bothered by what happened and he usually has anger issues. 2) the fact that the guy yelled at her with the bf right next to her and the bf's lack of response made her feel very unprotected.

I told her try not to make a big deal out of it but curious to know your thoughts on the situation--

Ladies -- would you get upset with your guy if he didn't seem to be bother? Would you feel unprotected ?

Gentlemen--- What would be your reaction given the situation?


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I would be offended if a bunch of losers shouted out crap to my wife and just drive off. But doesn't mean I would make a big show out of it - unless they hit a traffic light. Still remember back in my youth some **** tried to waterbomb my mates and I then got stopped at the traffic lights, we chased them and they got scared, ended up going through a red light and almost got T-boned lol

If they say it to her in my face though then things would get much more interesting but that never happened for a while. So far, not many folks have been that stupid. Besides, no court charges as long as no real harm is done in physical confrontation. All I really need to do is get them in a submission hold in pain or put them in choke hold and put him to sleep.

Due to the modern day BS laws in regards to assault/self-defence/grievious bodily harm I believe it is necessary for every man to learn how to attack or defend against someone else without ending up in court - situations that require one to defend one's family may not always occur but when it does and one isn't prepared, may have irritating results.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

roamingmind said:


> Ladies -- would you get upset with your guy if he didn't seem to be bother? Would you feel unprotected ?


The day before I turned 30, I was stupidly feeling old and a bit down. My H forced me out the house for a walk. We were near a busy road and 3 cars at different times each had a stupid guy calling out the likes of "You're hot!" By the third occurrence my H said "This is ridiculous, we're going to take a different road." I wouldn't normally like this behavior (guys in cars) but I'll admit I ended up having a laugh and spring in my step and he let me have it with good grace because of my birthday blues. I even asked if he'd set it all up to happen that way ...then joked maybe they were actually calling out to _him!_ And how vain of me to think it was directed at me 

It's obviously an immature act and they're in a passing vehicle. There's nothing he could do. I know that my H's body language will change slightly. If he didn't react would I feel bothered and unprotected? NO! I'd be telling him exactly what your friend's bf said. 

Your friend's bf is talking sense. She probably wants him to act alpha and declare them jerks or be upset because she is. I think if she opens herself to listening to his perspective, she might find she can expand her outlook and perhaps not get caught thinking about fairly petty incidences that she can't do anything about anyway.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Honestly I would want him to have a reaction. No I would not want him threatening them or getting into a confrontation, but at least acknowledging it is in appropriate, and maybe offering to walk with me more often. Something nice like that.

I have had some pretty awful things said to me when walking. one time a group of guys came up to me in car and I was really scared and shut myself in a phone booth.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Syrum said:


> I have had some pretty awful things said to me when walking. one time a group of guys came up to me in car and I was really scared and shut myself in a phone booth.


That's awful Syrum 

And that type of threatening behavior is on a different level for me. Shouting something stupidly randomly from the window as they pass, is well, just stupid. Approaching and making someone feel threatened is another story.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

When I'm alone, offensive comments from others don't really bother me, but I get pretty upset if my wife or daughter is the target. I describe it as my 'stupid' button. When pressed, it demands apology or their humiliation. Usually, there's not much I can do other than to just get upset, though. I have followed guys like this when alone, and they stopped at a redlight after making offensive comments, and their response is usually surprising. Most of these guys respond entirely differently when faced with a 210 pound guy who looks like a linebacker. 

But those of us who grew up in some of the rougher places also know that this hot button response could also endanger the woman with us. Usually, I just think calm thoughts if my wife or daughter are with me. My wife has seen how I'll respond if guys confront us with knives to try to rape her. It happened early in our marriage and left a lasting impression. My 'stupid' button when in overdrive. I was carryin a hickory walking stick in a national park when it happened, and broke one guy's shoulder, and chased the other while screaming like a lunatic.


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## roamingmind (Jul 20, 2011)

Syrum said:


> Honestly I would want him to have a reaction. No I would not want him threatening them or getting into a confrontation, but at least acknowledging it is in appropriate, and maybe offering to walk with me more often. Something nice like that.


Yes. That would be my thoughts exactly.


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## roamingmind (Jul 20, 2011)

heartsbreaking said:


> The day before I turned 30, I was stupidly feeling old and a bit down. My H forced me out the house for a walk. We were near a busy road and 3 cars at different times each had a stupid guy calling out the likes of "You're hot!" By the third occurrence my H said "This is ridiculous, we're going to take a different road." I wouldn't normally like this behavior (guys in cars) but I'll admit I ended up having a laugh and spring in my step and he let me have it with good grace because of my birthday blues. I even asked if he'd set it all up to happen that way ...then joked maybe they were actually calling out to _him!_ And how vain of me to think it was directed at me
> 
> It's obviously an immature act and they're in a passing vehicle. There's nothing he could do. I know that my H's body language will change slightly. If he didn't react would I feel bothered and unprotected? NO! I'd be telling him exactly what your friend's bf said.
> 
> Your friend's bf is talking sense. She probably wants him to act alpha and declare them jerks or be upset because she is. I think if she opens herself to listening to his perspective, she might find she can expand her outlook and perhaps not get caught thinking about fairly petty incidences that she can't do anything about anyway.


I think it's quite different between " you are hot" and " show your tits". You can take the former a compliment but the latter is rather rude and insulting. 

I think my friend was upset because bf didn't even acknowledge that it was rude at the moment. Of course I agree what he said later.


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## roamingmind (Jul 20, 2011)

Halien said:


> But those of us who grew up in some of the rougher places also know that this hot button response could also endanger the woman with us. Usually, I just think calm thoughts if my wife or daughter are with me.


Yeah, that's what I told my friend that her bf was most likely in that mindset, which says a lot in itself.


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## the gifted (Aug 31, 2011)

If ladies are a fact before gentleman's or not are not able to be called ladies, but if gentleman's before the ladies, anything is possible


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

roamingmind said:


> Ladies -- would you get upset with your guy if he didn't seem to be bother? Would you feel unprotected ?
> 
> Gentlemen--- What would be your reaction given the situation?


My husband thinks most poeple are A-holes, so No, he would not be surprised at any type of animal behavior, and No, he would not run after any of them, he might stick up his middle finger after they pass - we both would likely stand there & call them A-holes after the fact. When a group of rowdy men get together, give them a few beers & they got women on thier minds, you never know what is going to fly out of their mouths going past, you might need to watch they don't wreck! 

I wouldn't feel unprotected by random comments at all. Living in this world, what is a stupid comment, they come a dime a dozen. So what. Now IF someone tried to physically HURT me or our kids, that would be another story entirely, He'd throw himself in a den of wolves to save me. 

I personally wouldn't want him to get Pi**ed off at some unruly testosterone laden Jerks (for instance passing in a truck) -so it would ruin our day. It wouldn't ruin mine-- so why should it ruin his.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Follow him, pull him out of his truck and choke him with his own seatbelt?


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

the gifted said:


> If ladies are a fact before gentleman's or not are not able to be called ladies, but if gentleman's before the ladies, anything is possible


What?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Open4it (Sep 1, 2011)

The only reaction I would expect from my SO would be shared laughter at such a juvenile comment.
I would not feel unprotected.
Maybe the guy was having some Mardi Gras flashbacks. 
Did he throw beads? 

Now if it was a comment about my weight ... I'd need a side hug and you're a sexy b!tch kiss on the lips. 

Also, to put my comments in to context, I am a factory girl working with 100s of men and have heard just about every ridiculous thing a guy could possibly say and I've grown immune to it. Most guys like this are harmless and don't deserve a moments aggravation. Getting a rise out of people is what they want. NOT giving them a reaction is the best reaction.

An impersonal drive-by comment doesn't seem threatening to me and didn't necessitate a reaction from the bf IMO.
For myself, if my SO made a big deal about it, I wouldn't like it. THAT would seem weak to me because it would be an overreaction to what happened.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I went & asked my husband this question tonight and he had a differnet take, which I agree...he said if any JERK sticks his head out the window and yells something like that to a woman WITH A MAN WALKING BESIDE HER, he is LOOKING for a confrontation. And yeah, best to ignore it, cause if you want to play Hero with someone like this (& usually more in the vehicle)- well it has the potential to end up like a road rage incident on the nightly news. 

Hardly worth it. 

Instead just say a prayer under your breath - they get their A** beat somewhere else down the line, maybe in a bar or something. 

I agree with Open4it, you might as well have a good laugh, you can't let people have a hold on you, so long as it is just "in passing" - let it go. Though he DOES deserve thoughts of being strangled with his seatbelt, oh yeah!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

I'm your huckleberry.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

Enjoy the look on the face of someone when he works out he's ****ed the p1ss at an expert matrial artist:rofl:

Her third dan black belt tends to give HER the last laugh.

And if necessary point out that if, once SHE has kicked his goolies into his earlobes, he's still a nuisance, _I'll_ pull off one of his arms and beat him to death with the wet end...


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## ren (Aug 1, 2011)

roamingmind said:


> Gentlemen--- What would be your reaction given the situation?


If I had the presence of mind as it happened I would lift up my shirt and yell back something crudely hilarious that would make them uncomfortable if they suffered at all from homophobia. Basically treat the situation like they were horny gay guys yelling at me. 
If I didn't have the presence of mind in the moment I would playfully pretend my girlfriend was actually upset about me getting catcalls and then turn it around on her if she insisted they weren't. Sort of like "what? no way they were talking about me... well actually, damn yours might be better! We're gonna need to conduct an examination to be certain..."
I'd use the situation as a comedic excuse to make her feel sexy and feel her up. That's generally my M.O.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

Often, its different if you are a guy who is into weightlifting. When some guys yell at your wife like this, it may be because they have assumptions about you, so they ARE looking to start a fight. Doesn't happen often, but it happens. My pillsbury doughboy t-shirt shirt saves me from the occasional fight - who's gonna fight with a guy with such an unmanly shirt, right?

I will probably never forget the handicapped guy who rear-ended my truck last month. His foot slipped off the brake, so he hit me, bounced back, and hit again ($3,500 in damage). I jumped out really fast because my daughter screamed in pain. The guy who hit us looked terrified, and I heard the door locks click. Later, he said that he was just convinced that he was going to die. His wife and daughter were in tears, and stared at me as if in shock when I asked if I could buy them a cold drink from the nearby store(it was really hot and we were waiting for a tow).


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

What can you do, nowadays? You can't really get into a fight with someone without reprecussions. If some jerk is trying to get a rise out of you, he's probably pitifully insecure and looking to compare penis size or whatever. It's probably not worth getting into it with someone... be the bigger person and ignore it. If they won't let you ignore it, be a jerk back- laugh at him or say something derogatory in turn and keep on walking. 

The old lady and I were waiting for a bus one time... some (apparent) transient (my city seems to have a variety of very aggressive panhandlers, tranisents and other unfortunates down on their luck) came up and was angry that he "saw us standing for the bus all of the time, being quiet." We ignored him as best we could. Then he was "offended" that we were wearing dark clothes (!!) and that we looked like a... he groped for a name... and the best he could do was "an Ozzy Osbourne cover." We laughed and said "Good" which confounded him, and made him madder... he yelled some more at us; told my girlfriend she was "ugly as sin," to which she replied "piss off," and I replied "coming from the man that hasn't got a home or a woman to go to," which really enraged him... he started ranting about Hurricane Katrina and some other junk... got up in my face (I'm a pretty big guy- 6'1 and close to 300 lbs)... I told him he was utterly pathetic to go around screaming at random people and to get the hell out of our faces before I did something about it. Luckily, the bus pulled up, and we calmly got on the bus as he had an utter meltdown. He wasn't prepared for anyone to stand up for themselves. If he wasn't so overtly hostile and clearly going out of his way to needle people, I would have felt very bad for him. Sometimes, ignoring this king of thing (my preferred choice) doesn't work- this guy was angry and had set his sights on killing time this way... but, in this case, returning his belligerence took the wind out of his sails. He was expecting whomever he came up to to just take it. I guess it's largely about reading the situation- the bottom line is that you can't go around with your chest puffed out looking for a fight, but you certainly don't have to take abuse if you don't want to.

Come to think of it, nearly every jerky encounter I've had has been waiting for the bus or getting on the bus. Something about the downtown Seattle bus system that really brings out aggression in some people.


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## TwoDogs (Jul 29, 2011)

Open4it said:


> The only reaction I would expect from my SO would be shared laughter at such a juvenile comment.


:iagree:

I definitely would NOT want my SO to yell back or do anything that might provoke further animosity.


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## LexusNexus (Aug 19, 2011)

You cannot fight with every idiot.


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