# I reconnected with the love of my life and I just got married this year with someone



## Mirjan214 (Aug 15, 2016)

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## Mirjan214 (Aug 15, 2016)

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## no name (Aug 4, 2016)

Hello! I don't understand why you would marry a man, when you knew you loved another. What were the reasons for not just waiting for the love of your life? Instead of marrying someone else. Is this fear of being alone ? Need of Financial stability? I think you should let your hubby free to find someone who will love only him, I think you owe him at least that in doing the right thing for him. What the reason in staying? I can understand why your hubby would be angry. It may be painful for him at the beginning but it's long term gain for him. 


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

No offence but you have a lot of growing up to do yet and once you do, you will realise that the "in love" feeling you have for this man is infatuation. It is an internal feeling that is not part of a relationship. It feels great but it doesn't add anything to a healthy relationship, in fact it serves to mask many problems in relationships.

This may come across as being a bit brutal but you sound like a little girl yearning for her father figure. And you want your way like a spoilt teen.

To get your way, in your very first post, you have re-written history, passed blame and diminished truths with the intent of obtaining approval on this forum. It's classic cheater behaviour and you are well on your way to carrying out the physical side of it.

I also don't envy your position, but I suggest that unless you have dire issues in your relationship, you should see a counsellor and discuss why it is you are willing to so quickly abandon your marriage for a crush. As I said, you probably have a lot of growing to do and you will one day realise it was a bit ridiculous.


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

no name said:


> Hello! I don't understand why you would marry a man, when you knew you loved another. What were the reasons for not just waiting for the love of your life? Instead of marrying someone else. Is this fear of being alone ? Need of Financial stability? I think you should let your hubby free to find someone who will love only him, I think you owe him at least that in doing the right thing for him. What the reason in staying? I can understand why your hubby would be angry. It may be painful for him at the beginning but it's long term gain for him.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


It doesn't make sense because she wasn't being honest in her first post. She is bend truths and re-write history to go chase the shiny new man with that new car smell rather than deal with the problems she has with her current one.


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## no name (Aug 4, 2016)

poida said:


> It doesn't make sense because she wasn't being honest in her first post. She is bend truths and re-write history to go chase the shiny new man with that new car smell rather than deal with the problems she has with her current one.




? How do you know? Is there another thread? 


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

No, it's just the way it is written. Others will smell it too.


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## rafaelandy (May 8, 2013)

"...I have been with my husband since 2014. We recently got married This January (7months). The guy that I have loved my whole life just contacted me about a 3 weeks ago...I have always felt the same about him since when we first dated back in 2007..."

you were very unfair to your husband even from the beggining of your marriage - you deceived him, and now you are LYING and CHEATING on him.

"...The thing is if I do end up divorcing him I will still be alone until my Ex comes back from base, (Nov-Dec 2016) it's a crazy love story bt I need some advice from other people. I want to do what my heart tells me to but I am scared for what will happen.

i am sorry to say but this is very SELFISH of you. you burned the ship without your husband knowing and you want to have a lifeboat before you jump ship? 

the longer you prolong this situation, the more your are hurting your husband. if you are so SURE you don't love him anymore...SET HIM FREE ASAP. it will hurt him, but it's much better than what you are doing to him now.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Whether you realize or not you are showing your husband disrespect, you are having an emotional relationship with your ex. If you want to leave then leave but don't put this on your husband, put it on you.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Get an annulment and let your husband go before you end up pregnant. If that happens you are both screwed.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Get divorced, don't marry this "love of your life", spend the next 5 years growing up and find your place in this world.


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## Ralph Bellamy (Aug 8, 2016)

It's amazing that you are the one cheating on your husband but it's all his fault because he's addicted to video games...


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

When you spend time with someone you see their flaws. You do chores together, worry about life's annoyances together. When you spend very little time together, everything is like a date, each of you can concentrate on making the other happy. 

Its very easy to develop a fantasy of what life would be like with this other person, but without spending a a lot of time with them, its just a fantasy. 

Think very hard about this, but if you do find that you love someone else, then divorce your husband.


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## Mirjan214 (Aug 15, 2016)

Herschel said:


> Get divorced, don't marry this "love of your life", spend the next 5 years growing up and find your place in this world.


Thanks that's what I'm thinking about doing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mirjan214 (Aug 15, 2016)

uhtred said:


> When you spend time with someone you see their flaws. You do chores together, worry about life's annoyances together. When you spend very little time together, everything is like a date, each of you can concentrate on making the other happy.
> 
> Its very easy to develop a fantasy of what life would be like with this other person, but without spending a a lot of time with them, its just a fantasy.
> 
> Think very hard about this, but if you do find that you love someone else, then divorce your husband.


I have thought about this over and over .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

Mirjan214 said:


> Hello. I have been with my husband since 2014. We recently got married This January (7months). The guy that I have loved my whole life just contacted me about a 3 weeks ago. We have history behind our love that I doubt you would like to hear, all you have to know is that I have always felt the same about him since when we first dated back in 2007. Our relationship was so pure and innocent that we didn't have our first kiss until the beginning of 2014 (before I met my husband) The reason why we lost contact is because he decided to join the Military. I am aware of the rules behind the military and we have not broken any because One, I'm legally married and two, a sign of respect. I'm so lost and confused right now because my husband and I have been fighting for a very long time even before we got married because he had an addiction to video games. We have had moments where he was about to leave the house and end our relationship because all we do was fight. Lately he has been going to a councelor alone where he has been trying to save our marriage. He leaves me notes every morning on our front door telling me how much he loves me etc. my husband is a great man and he is the sweetest but I just don't feel the same anymore for him. I love him but i am not IN LOVE with him. My ex or my "true love" and I have been texting every day since we first reconnected and is wanting to be with me but first he wants me to get divorced. I do want to make it clear that I have been feeling the need to divorce my husband way before my ex came in the picture bt now I feel like i have to leave him . I dont want to waste his time nor mine. The thing is if I do end up divorcing him I will still be alone until my Ex comes back from base, (Nov-Dec 2016) it's a crazy love story bt I need some advice from other people. I want to do what my heart tells me to but I am scared for what will happen. Forgot to mention i am in my early 20s. No children


1) You're so young and already cheating on your poor husband.

2) Only 7 months into your marriage and you're contemplating abandoning ship. You are not marriage material because your marriage vows mean nothing to you. There are many members here who are going through marital problems much worse than video games, and they're fighting hard to save their marriage.

3) You are being led by your heart at the moment but what you may not know is that our heart aka our emotion betrays us all the time. It clouds our judgment and makes us think the grass is greener on the other side. If the way you go about being with another man is not anchored in integrity and honor, regret eventually follows. There's nothing honorable about cheating on your husband and leaving him to be with an ex. There's also nothing honorable about your ex asking you to destroy your marriage so you can be with him. An honorable man would not tell a married woman to do such a thing. He should keep silent and not contact you at all, and wait until you become available before reaching out to you if he truly loved you. Instead he's thinking about himself and not another man's marriage. Will he put a ring on your finger? I highly doubt it. He knows if you're willing to cheat with him, you'll eventually cheat on him. He'll use you until he finds somebody else.

This may not be what you want to hear but if you want to be handled with kids' gloves, then you're not mature enough to be in a marriage. You're at a fork in the road so you will have to choose and live with your decision.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

#redacted#


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## poida (Jan 17, 2014)

Mirjan214 said:


> Thanks that's what I'm thinking about doing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


But you won't. That's what you are saying here for fear of what we will say.

You'll run to your EX in a flash. You have already said how you are "soul mates" and how drawn to him you are.

Tell the truth.


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

Jeremiah 17:9 
9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?






You would be wise to listen to that pearl of wisdom. There's a reason the phrase "moral compass" exists. Trust in your morals, not your heart.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Mirjan214 said:


> 1


You have Stated your feelings.

Can you State the feelings of your ex lover? He. who is your, yet another, old/new choice? 

Honestly [his feelings], without a doubt?

Remember this, you are now married. Is OM going to steal another man's wife away [you]. Yes? What does that tell you of his Character.

As I see it, OM's character is cheating Sponge Bob. If I were this spongy character, I would have my doubts about you, also. How long before you change your mind again and dump me, the sponge. He is shallow. 

I may be making more out of this than is necessary. I do not think so.

Oh, you can State New York and California, but can you guarantee that he, the OM. will not betray you?

Could he not be a player?

Do what you must, but be ashamed. Learn from this.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

It will soon become apparent to you why exes are called "exes". 

You broke up with this guy for several reasons. You just forgot them. 

How much did your old man pay for the wedding? You better hope he doesn't find out.


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## Lostme (Nov 14, 2014)

I feel bad for your husband, he deserves better than you and so does the love of your life. 

If I was the guy you plan of leaving your husband for, I would not want a relationship with you. how would they know you won't think someone else is the love of your life and dump them too.

I think you need to think about why you married your husband and why the relationship with your ex ended.


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