# The closure of paperwork



## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

So...my ex and I were legally separated in June, 2012. We made an attempt at reconciliation that ended in January, 2014. The end of the reconciliation was when I was really emotionally done but interestingly, since my ex filed the final paperwork a couple of weeks ago and I can now definitively say I'm divorced and not separated, I really do feel freer and like a door has finally closed and I can move on. 

The day he told me he filed I was SAD...but it's been interesting watching myself all of a sudden start thinking of the new possibilities. AND...like I can start setting goals and making plans again. Separation made me feel like I was in limbo and I didn't realize how much until now.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Welcome to the Divorced side of things.

It is a relief, isn't it? When the paperwork is all signed and done with -- you really do feel like a door has closed. 

It's a new beginning. 

You survived. Yay!


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

Finally divorced is a bittersweet thing. Welcome to your new life FB, make something of it!


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Welcome to the CLUB, Firebelly!!!!

Life on the "other side" is more rewarding and gratifying than I could have *ever imagined!!!*

Freedom!!!

Yes, there will be moments of sadness for what was, what could have been, what should have been...

But there's NOTHING that compares to waking up in your *Egyptian Cotton Pima sheets*, without his sourpuss face to RUIN your day... 

KNOWING that the day ahead is ALL YOURS.... just for YOU! Lounge around in PJs all day, drink hot cocoa... watch a marathon TV series, with NO ONE to say, "WHY are you watching this drivel?"... and "WHAT's for DINNER?!?" ("Gee, I don't know, did you KILL some wild game, field dress it, bring it home to the cave? :rofl: Sorry, looks like it's Hamburger Helper tonight, Doll.")

Hang in there firebelly... it's all GOOD from here on...


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Hahahahaha Happyasaclam!
Thats exactly what I do! 
Just sit around and be "me", play on the laptop, watch home improvement TV and sleep with my dog!

Nobody working from home in the background asking me if Im going to mow the lawn or "do anything today"...Its like a steady low level morphine drip of "Ahhhhhhh".

It really does get better...


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

As soon as my kids are fully out of the house, I will be able to enjoy such a day. Looking forward to it.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

SamuraiJack said:


> Hahahahaha Happyasaclam!
> Thats exactly what I do! ...*Its like a steady low level morphine drip of "Ahhhhhhh".*


You know it, Bro!!!!! Can you turn that drip up, *just a little bit, Doc?!?!*

:lol: :rofl:


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

I woke up this morning with an overwhelming urge to purge stuff around my house that I don't want. Hm.


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## Heidi2005 (Oct 27, 2013)

Purging feels good. I purged items out of the pantry the other day. Hot sauce and other things the Ex liked that I did not, it was all purged. I can understand the limbo phase. I can't file until we have been separated for a year. It has been 7 months of limbo... I think it will be a relief to file the official paperwork and close this chapter... Hopefully...


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

firebelly1 said:


> I woke up this morning with an overwhelming urge to purge stuff around my house that I don't want. Hm.


Purging is VERY VERY good.
ITs a great way to simplify things and lessen distractions. Also a good way to get rid of emotional ghosts.

Purge away!


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

LOL. That feeling when you meet another divorced person, tell them about it, and they go "Congratulations!!" with excitement. Meanwhile everyone else is looking at you both like, "You morally depraved people..."

For those of us that have been there, it can be a really good experience. Life is an adventure, you've closed a chapter, time for a new and exciting one.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I had been married since I was 21 so for 45 years I was part of a unit. I had never been on my own. I knew I had to take that step and I was certainly apprehensive after more than four decades of marriage. It was very hard pre-divorce to imagine a life without my ex-husband. But it's what I was meant to have and my only regret is not doing it sooner. 

A quiet and peaceful place of my own that he never lived in. Time and energy to do whatever I want whenever I want without considering anyone else. My life is completely my own and I had never experienced that before. 

My ex-husband immediately remarried the moment the final decree was in hand (but not to his AP) because he's terrified of being alone. But I see things differently. Time alone to live my life as I choose is a wonderful gift. I couldn't go back. And while I never intended to be divorced when I said my vows, I've realized that, for me, divorce is a very good thing.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> Welcome to the CLUB, Firebelly!!!!
> 
> Life on the "other side" is more rewarding and gratifying than I could have *ever imagined!!!*
> 
> ...


Funny! thats the first thing I did when she got her own place, and was out of the house. New really nice sheets.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

firebelly1 said:


> So...my ex and I were legally separated in June, 2012. We made an attempt at reconciliation that ended in January, 2014. The end of the reconciliation was when I was really emotionally done but interestingly, since my ex filed the final paperwork a couple of weeks ago and I can now definitively say I'm divorced and not separated, I really do feel freer and like a door has finally closed and I can move on.
> 
> The day he told me he filed I was SAD...but it's been interesting watching myself all of a sudden start thinking of the new possibilities. AND...like I can start setting goals and making plans again. Separation made me feel like I was in limbo and I didn't realize how much until now.


Congrats. Mine is with the judge and I'm hoping for the final paperwork any day now.

I will be having a large celebration party with my band playing a house concert, the beer will flow like wine and there will be midgets, hookers and a giant naked bouncy house. And that's all just the first night. Can't wait.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

When my wife and I divorced, I felt like the weight of the world was taken off my shoulders. I was able to breath again and the one thing I promised myself was "It will never happen again." That was in 1992 and to this day, I kept that promise and have no regrets.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

COguy said:


> LOL. That feeling when you meet another divorced person, tell them about it, and they go "Congratulations!!" with excitement. Meanwhile everyone else is looking at you both like, "You morally depraved people..."
> 
> For those of us that have been there, it can be a really good experience. Life is an adventure, you've closed a chapter, time for a new and exciting one.


So true!!! You can always tell who has been divorced and who hasn't by their reaction to YOUR divorce. Divorced people share my joy. Never-divorced people need to be convinced that I'm OK and happy, and even then, they still don't believe it 90% of the time.

I love that I can do what I want and not have to deal with my XH's grumpy ways. One of the first things I did when he moved out: bought all new bedding. Really good sheets, and a really nice, organic cotton quilt set. The kind I always wanted, which he always poo-pooed because it was 1) too expensive and 2) too girly. (He always insisted on the cheap, hideous, polyester-blend comforter sets that pilled before the first wash.) And I have really nice towels, and my bathroom is clean and has a theme. (No more boy urine-dribbles everywhere.) I'm taking the whole apartment and making the nest I always wanted, but he would never let me have. 

It's awesome.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

YES! I totally indulged in 600-900 thread count sheets and I bought new (used) bedroom furniture because I couldnt stand to look at our old stuff. Craigslisted the couch, bought new rugs...FINALLLY got myself a new laptop, motorcycle, hottub...all the stuff she said we could t afford...but we could always spring for plane tickets for her mother....?????

All these toys for me and the kids have all they need and my bank account still goes up?

Financially I got a huge gain when she left me...

Aint suffering thats for sure...


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

SamuraiJack said:


> YES! I totally indulged in 600-900 thread count sheets and I bought new (used) bedroom furniture because I couldnt stand to look at our old stuff. Craigslisted the couch, bought new rugs...FINALLLY got myself a new laptop, motorcycle, hottub...all the stuff she said we could t afford...but we could always spring for plane tickets for her mother....?????
> 
> All these toys for me and the kids have all they need and my bank account still goes up?
> 
> ...


I'll feel like that when both my kids are in school. As for now I get bent over and spanked like a stepchild in CS and daycare expenses. Would love to modify my CS because she doesn't take the kids that much but I'm afraid I'll lose and she'll stop letting me have them so often.

When my son starts school next year I'll save $600 a month, and if my CS got adjusted to what it should be it'd be another $500 a month. When that happens I'm getting some of these:


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