# When you look, you may not like what you find...



## halifax (Aug 28, 2012)

My wife and I have been happily married for about 20 years, but she has recently (over past 6 months or so) become cold and tends to move away from my touch. She's also become more short tempered with me. On top of that...our sex life has been seriously lacking. When we do have sex, it seems boring for both of us. As a result of all this, I have begun to suspect she is having an affair. I needed to know for sure so did something that I now think I regret. I placed a voice activated recorder in the room to record what occurred whe I was not home. She is home along quite a bit so the opporunity appeared to be there. I heard a lot of sexual moaning and sex talk during the recordings on several occassions, but haven't been able to clearly hear a male voice. Could it be just her? Given what I've heard, I find it difficult to imagine that she isn't being pleased by someone else. Help!


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Keep on listening, or put the VAR closer to where you think she is. Personally, when I'm alone, I'm not sex talking or even making all that much noise. But that's just me.


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## HuggyBear (Aug 4, 2012)

I don't know about what else is in the room, but as someone who monitors the computers at my wife's office, you would be surprised, even disturbed, at the kind of porn women do watch... I can only say "out of curiosity" that they do watch it, but they do watch ALL kinds!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Could be she is just mast erbating. Or it could be she's talking to someone. Get some clear evidence.

On the flip--how are things emotionally? Women tie their libido into their emotions so if you aren't meeting her needs there, she is not goign to be hot for you. That is a given.

Read "His needs, Her needs." It talks about how women need affection first and then the sex will follow for you. 

You can get it at the library.


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## halifax (Aug 28, 2012)

Thanks guys. We've really had a wonderful relationship...so my bias is to give her the benefit of the doubt. However, it's still a tough, lingering suspician I can't let go of. Considering video...just so I can "close the book" on it. Thoughts?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Keep listening or move the VAR closer to where she is. I think you have enough evidence to suspect an affair.

Sorry.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

She could be watching porn, or she could be on the phone or skype with someone else.

Put keylogger software on any computers and, if she has a smartphone, spyware on the phone.

Good luck.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I would do the video if the VAR was inconclusive.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

Have you checked her phone records and keylogged the computer? She could be having either phone sex or cybersex


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## halifax (Aug 28, 2012)

Actually...upon reflection I don't think I can pull off the video. Will just keep listening. No...I haven't checked computer, phone, etc. That may be worth a look. May also plan on "dropping in" unexpectetdly when I plan on being out of town. A bit juvenile, but I just have to know. It's killing me.


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

halifax said:


> Actually...upon reflection I don't think I can pull off the video. Will just keep listening. No...I haven't checked computer, phone, etc. That may be worth a look. May also plan on "dropping in" unexpectetdly when I plan on being out of town. A bit juvenile, but I just have to know. It's killing me.


I don't think its juvenile. When in doubt, check it out!


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## LaurenceSext (Aug 31, 2012)

Keep on listening, or put the VAR closer to where you think she is.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Could be she is just mast erbating. Or it could be she's talking to someone. Get some clear evidence.
> 
> *On the flip--how are things emotionally? Women tie their libido into their emotions so if you aren't meeting her needs there, she is not goign to be hot for you. That is a given.*
> 
> ...


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## Taurus (Aug 23, 2012)

Get ahold of her phone when you will have adequate time with it. You'll need the code if it is locked. Look at last/frequent calls, photos, text messages, and search history. Her being short with you and what you've heard recorded, I don't think you're going to like what you find. Keep your mouth shut and gather evidence.


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