# Encouragement



## LockeCPM4 (Jul 11, 2012)

I found this on facebook. It's both true and encouraging.

For those who have a walk away spouse, this is for you.


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

And it's a lack of respect to continue to tell ourselves how much we love the person that can't stand us. Why would anyone that respects themselves love someone as much as we think we do when the other person can't even stand us?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

jdlash said:


> And it's a lack of respect to continue to tell ourselves how much we love the person that can't stand us. Why would anyone that respects themselves love someone as much as we think we do when the other person can't even stand us?


Is it you they can't stand?


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## 36Separated (Aug 5, 2012)

This is spot on


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

Conrad said:


> Is it you they can't stand?


No that's true. My guess is a very small percentage of these people ever figure that out though.


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## LockeCPM4 (Jul 11, 2012)

In the case with my W, she has denial written all over her. Everything she says and does comes off like she is trying to convince herself, not me.


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## LockeCPM4 (Jul 11, 2012)

Also, there is a big difference in my book between caring and loving.

I still love my wife, but I am trying to not care what she does or says anymore. I owe it to myself to keep me sane and strong.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

jdlash said:


> No that's true. My guess is a very small percentage of these people ever figure that out though.


It's quite clear your wife despises herself.


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## 36Separated (Aug 5, 2012)

I think part of my wifes angry towards me is guilt on her part


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## spun (Jul 2, 2012)

36Separated said:


> I think part of my wifes angry towards me is guilt on her part


Ditto here. It's validates the walking away.

I think this must be at least partly the reason a 180 sometimes causes a wayward to come back around.

Once their anger subsides and the betrayed spouse is doing just fine, there is nothing left reinforcing the walking away.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Perfect.








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 36Separated (Aug 5, 2012)

SOund right to me


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

Conrad said:


> It's quite clear your wife despises herself.


I just saw this and had to read it a few times before it sank in. I think she really does. With that said, what do I do? My first thought is that I need to stay out of the drama triangle and make sure I don't try to fix.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

jdlash said:


> I just saw this and had to read it a few times before it sank in. I think she really does. With that said, what do I do? My first thought is that I need to stay out of the drama triangle and make sure I don't try to fix.


When we say "work on yourself", moving to the center of that triangle is exactly what we mean.


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

Conrad said:


> When we say "work on yourself", moving to the center of that triangle is exactly what we mean.


I'm not the brightest balb that's for sure


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## LockeCPM4 (Jul 11, 2012)

Encircle posted this in another thread, and i thought I would share it here.

"The only reset button is forgiveness."


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## LockeCPM4 (Jul 11, 2012)

So... Very... True...

Society does not respect marriage as a sacred institution anymore...


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## LockeCPM4 (Jul 11, 2012)

Found some self help article website if anyone is interested. It's not too deep, and there may just be an article on there you need.

Relationship Advice and Articles About Relationships


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

LockeCPM4 said:


> So... Very... True...
> 
> Society does not respect marriage as a sacred institution anymore...


She's pretty hot.


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## LockeCPM4 (Jul 11, 2012)

Conrad said:


> She's pretty hot.


Lol. That made my night


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Conrad said:


> She's pretty hot.


Conrad

Never, ever, lose your sense of humor. So many of us need to laugh with all the crap that goes on in all of our lives.....

HM64


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## our vision shattered (May 25, 2012)

Like readers Digest magazine has said for years, laughter is the best medicine, when I'm me I'm the biggest goof you'd ever meet,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stuckmick (Dec 10, 2011)

36Separated said:


> I think part of my wifes angry towards me is guilt on her part


Exactly, so much that my wife is seeing a f*cking counselor for her guilt, not to fix herself....


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## LockeCPM4 (Jul 11, 2012)

When life gives you luwak ****, dry it up, and brew it into coffee. 

"Kopa Luwak: The most expensive coffee in the world."

Random I know, but I just watched Bucket List and have had a little wine, so it was really funny atm.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

LockeCPM4 said:


> In the case with my W, she has denial written all over her. Everything she says and does comes off like she is trying to convince herself, not me.


Vigorous defensiveness

Combative tone

Unwillingness to trust anything or anyone


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