# Revenge???



## Asian (Nov 4, 2012)

Hi all, I've been cheated on by my wife but we worked things out and doing good besides numebers of sex we are having but still feels and looks like we are at the level where should be.
My wife has changed me in taste of type of women that I get attracted to, my wife has multiple tattoos on her body and I have none but since my wife is tatted out I start to get attracted to women with multiple tattoos on her body. Well, I've been going to famous major coffee shop everyday during my lunch break and started to talk to one of the girl that works there, she is very attractive on mid 20's no strings attached just dating Around enjoying her single life before settle kind of a girl and she is tatted out, one on her arm, one on her back and one more that she can tell me exact location... Lol.
Anyhow, she is been very flirty with me and started exchanging tex and told her that I was cheated on By my wife and her reply was " cool, I don't feel so bad getting close with married man then! Lol" . When I think of my kids I feel very guilty and I tell my self that I won't let this go out of control but when I think about what my wife has done to me, I want to let her tast of her own medicine and get far with this young hottie that just wanna have some fun....
Am I a terrible person to feel this way? Or normal?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It's normal to feel like you want to do something to get back at her. But it's going to hurt you as much as it will her if you have an affair. It sounds like you are already starting an emotional affair.

Are you willing to have your marriage end? If you are just leave your wife and get a divorce. That way you can go after all the tatted women you want.

Do you want to break up your family? Because this is what you are doing if you don't stop NOW.


----------



## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

Here's an idea, tell your wife about this girl and see what she says. You said you worked it out and now things are good, what did you two do to deal with her infidelity? What do you guys do to actively affair proof your new relationship? If you are not currently seeing a couples counselor, you should start as soon as possible. I would also pick a new coffee shop, or learn to make coffee at home.


----------



## weird223 (Apr 20, 2013)

I think about that same idea everyday. cheat on her and get my revenge but, cheating is not in my nature. Plus, if I did cheat I would be just like her. If you are going to R then focus on that. If you are going to cheat and sleep around, leave her. She's probably feeling real guilty for what she did, but if you cheat and she finds out, she might think that yall are even and the guilt will subside. Me, I want my spouse to feel guilty as long as possible because she deserves it.
Thanks


----------



## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

It's normal to think about cheating when you've been cheated on. You feel entitled because you're the "Good One". But it's not right to do it.

This tattooed girl also has no right to think that because your M is in shambles, that she can step her foot into it. 

I say, don't do it. You will cause more damage and you will bring yourself down to your W's level. It will leave you both feeling entitled, stubborn, and spiteful for years to come.


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Perfectly normal to think and feel that way.


----------



## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

What were the consequences to your wife about her cheating on you? How long was she cheating on you?


----------



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Asian said:


> Hi all, I've been cheated on by my wife but we worked things out and doing good besides numebers of sex we are having but still feels and looks like we are at the level where should be.
> My wife has changed me in taste of type of women that I get attracted to, my wife has multiple tattoos on her body and I have none but since my wife is tatted out I start to get attracted to women with multiple tattoos on her body. Well, I've been going to famous major coffee shop everyday during my lunch break and started to talk to one of the girl that works there, she is very attractive on mid 20's no strings attached just dating Around enjoying her single life before settle kind of a girl and she is tatted out, one on her arm, one on her back and one more that she can tell me exact location... Lol.
> Anyhow, she is been very flirty with me and started exchanging tex and told her that I was cheated on By my wife and her reply was " cool, I don't feel so bad getting close with married man then! Lol" . When I think of my kids I feel very guilty and I tell my self that I won't let this go out of control but when I think about what my wife has done to me, I want to let her tast of her own medicine and get far with this young hottie that just wanna have some fun....
> Am I a terrible person to feel this way? Or normal?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's one thing to be tempted when people flirt with us, but quite another when we start giving into it or encouraging it. To do so is not only a slippery slope to other things but deeply disrespectful and hateful to your spouse, marriage and family. 

So ask yourself, "Is that who I am or want to be?".


----------



## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Bad advice please don't follow,
She had her fun, still she have everything, why cant you have your fun and your family? You are already miserable can anything become more miserable than what you are presently in?


----------



## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> Bad advice please don't follow,
> She had her fun, still she have everything, why cant you have your fun and your family? You are already miserable can anything become more miserable than what you are presently in?


Are you suggesting he cheat?


----------



## weird223 (Apr 20, 2013)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> Bad advice please don't follow,
> She had her fun, still she have everything, why cant you have your fun and your family? You are already miserable can anything become more miserable than what you are presently in?


Makes since to a certain point, but that would switch him from being the victim to being the perpetrator. That could also backfire.


----------



## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

So, if you're already exchanging texts and thinking about this woman and you haven't told your wife,YOU ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR!
You cheated on your wife when you and this woman exchanged phone numbers. You have already been hurt. Everything you called your wife in your head...that's you now.


----------



## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

somethingelse said:


> Are you suggesting he cheat?


My ex wife once told me she knows what she put me through and knows the amount of pain she caused, But I never felt that it is true, Many times I regretted the fact that I dint had a revenge A to give her the taste of what she did to me. I still have that feeling.

Then suggesting him to cheat,? NO. whether we suggest him to cheat or not he will do what he wanted. Cheating is a choice one makes.


----------



## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

*Re: Re: Revenge???*



Kallan Pavithran said:


> My ex wife once told me she knows what she put me through and knows the amount of pain she caused, But I never felt that it is true, Many times I regretted the fact that I dint had a revenge A to give her the taste of what she did to me. I still have that feeling.
> 
> Then suggesting him to cheat,? NO. whether we suggest him to cheat or not he will do what he wanted. Cheating is a choice one makes.


If you still resent your wife, and don't think she understands the pain she caused, you should go to counseling with her. Those seeds will poison your soul and turn you into an angry and bitter person. Those feelings of resentment colored your advice to the OP, and could potentially lead him down a terrible road.


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Asian said:


> Hi all, I've been cheated on by my wife but we worked things out and doing good besides numebers of sex we are having but still feels and looks like we are at the level where should be.
> My wife has changed me in taste of type of women that I get attracted to, my wife has multiple tattoos on her body and I have none but since my wife is tatted out I start to get attracted to women with multiple tattoos on her body. Well, I've been going to famous major coffee shop everyday during my lunch break and started to talk to one of the girl that works there, she is very attractive on mid 20's no strings attached just dating Around enjoying her single life before settle kind of a girl and she is tatted out, one on her arm, one on her back and one more that she can tell me exact location... Lol.
> Anyhow, she is been very flirty with me and started exchanging tex and told her that I was cheated on By my wife and her reply was " cool, I don't feel so bad getting close with married man then! Lol" . When I think of my kids I feel very guilty and I tell my self that I won't let this go out of control but when I think about what my wife has done to me, I want to let her tast of her own medicine and get far with this young hottie that just wanna have some fun....
> Am I a terrible person to feel this way? Or normal?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's very normal.

Your wife had countless fun and yet still got to keep the safety of a beta provider. Now you're slowly realizing how she got away with her flings and you're wanting to get back at her.

Having some fun with that hottie will not make you a terrible person. A terrible person is your wife, by far. Is she still her new young male personal trainer?


----------



## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

*Re: Re: Revenge???*



keko said:


> ...
> 
> Having some fun with that hottie will not make you a terrible person. A terrible person is your wife, by far...


This can't possibly be the way you actually feel. Disrespecting himself, the vows he took, his wife and family, by "having some fun" with that "hottie" would 100% most definatley make him a terrible person. Two wrongs don't make a right. If he can't live in his marriage, he can divorce and then have "fun" with "hotties" as much as he wants.


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Paladin said:


> This can't possibly be the way you actually feel. Disrespecting himself, the vows he took, his wife and family, by "having some fun" with that "hottie" would 100% most definatley make him a terrible person. Two wrongs don't make a right. If he can't live in his marriage, he can divorce and then have "fun" with "hotties" as much as he wants.


It's not wrong. The contract which contained those "vows" was terminated long ago by his wife. He's free to do as he wishes.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Why don't you do something your wife never had the balls for and tell your spouse you met someone interesting ...or rather interested in!

Other wise how else is she going to get a taste of her own medicine? Then when so goes ape sh1t on you...you can rub it in her face that you at least have the guts to let her know a head of time instead of the bull crap deciet she pulled on you!

She may be more understanding then you think...IDK


Again tell your wife..something your wife would have never done until she got caught.


----------



## Mtts (Apr 16, 2012)

Weird thread.

I see a mix of people saying take the high road and a mix of people actively encouraging cheating. 

Sometimes this subsection gives me the best/worst advice. 

OP: Simple solution, determine if you want to be married anymore. If not, divorce and live out your fantasy. If you do want to be married, explain to your wife the resentment you still feel and figure it out.


----------



## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

*Re: Re: Revenge???*



keko said:


> It's not wrong. The contract which contained those "vows" was terminated long ago by his wife. He's free to do as he wishes.


First of all, that contract is terminated by the courts in a divorce, his wife not keeping her side of the vows up doesn't terminate his side of those vows or his responsibility to keep them. If he didn't want to keep them, he could have filed for divorce. The OP also states that he and his wife worked out their issues and are now in a proper relationship. Telling someone that they have free rein to do what they want while they are still married is at best terrible advice, and at worst toxic and damaging. I don't think you're being helpful in any way when you encourage him to cheat on his wife.


----------



## Asian (Nov 4, 2012)

the guy said:


> Why don't you do something your wife never had the balls for and tell your spouse you met someone interesting ...or rather interested in!
> 
> Other wise how else is she going to get a taste of her own medicine? Then when so goes ape sh1t on you...you can rub it in her face that you at least have the guts to let her know a head of time instead of the bull crap deciet she pulled on you!
> 
> ...


Thanks The Guy, I did what you said because I thought this was what I wanted to do.... I just can't put my self in a situation that harm my kids future and one of my main reason for R with my wife was sake of my Kids. 
So I did let her know that I made friend with 25 years old Tatted up hottie at the coffee shop and she is kind of flirty with me and started to exchange text and etc.....and she said "you and 25 years old girl??? Are you dreaming?" so I show her the text of exchange between her and I. "What she looks like? does she know you are married?" I told her that she knows I'm married and we are just friend. I also told her that I didn't want to hide anything from you and if you don't like me talking to her I'll stop.. She told me that " it's okay as long as you guys are friend but I don't want her texting you."
I also show my wife her Facebook page and she was checking at her page for awhile.
Than unexpected happen that night....I was sleeping before my wife as usual but I was awaken by my wife pulling down my pajama pants followed with oral!!! This hasn't happen since we had kids!!! Right reasons or wrong reasons, I don't know but I'm going to enjoy this moment!! Even today my wife became very flirty with me. 
I am planning to stop contacting the young hottie from Sxxxbucks for sake of my family.


----------



## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

You did not answer the question about the trainer.


----------



## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

SadandAngry said:


> You did not answer the question about the trainer.


Take a wild guess.

We can see it from a mile away yet he's here bragging about sloppy seconds he's getting.


----------



## jenglenn (Jan 31, 2013)

Asian said:


> Hi all, I've been cheated on by my wife but we worked things out and doing good besides numebers of sex we are having but still feels and looks like we are at the level where should be.
> My wife has changed me in taste of type of women that I get attracted to, my wife has multiple tattoos on her body and I have none but since my wife is tatted out I start to get attracted to women with multiple tattoos on her body. Well, I've been going to famous major coffee shop everyday during my lunch break and started to talk to one of the girl that works there, she is very attractive on mid 20's no strings attached just dating Around enjoying her single life before settle kind of a girl and she is tatted out, one on her arm, one on her back and one more that she can tell me exact location... Lol.
> Anyhow, she is been very flirty with me and started exchanging tex and told her that I was cheated on By my wife and her reply was " cool, I don't feel so bad getting close with married man then! Lol" . When I think of my kids I feel very guilty and I tell my self that I won't let this go out of control but when I think about what my wife has done to me, I want to let her tast of her own medicine and get far with this young hottie that just wanna have some fun....
> Am I a terrible person to feel this way? Or normal?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Please focus on being honorable to yourself and your family. That will be so much more rewarding in the long run.


----------

