# Does it make you a bad person to be happy if a bad person is seriously injured?



## Degausser182 (Jun 17, 2014)

This may come off as me being a psycho to you but I have been dwelling on an incident that I found out about three weeks ago. 

Long story short, many years ago I dated a man for a little over a year that was very physically/verbally/emotionally abusive and know he did it to others even after me. He was all about terrorizing and controlling.

Well, three weeks ago I found out a few months before he was in a bad car accident and is now completely paralyzed.

Call me psychotic, but when I learned about that I felt really good inside, and was very happy. Happy to know this sick pos will never again be able to harm anyone else, happy that after all he's done he gets his just deserts. I talked to my friend and she said no matter what bad he has done this is tragic and we should feel some empathy. Sorry, I sure as hell can't, and I even get good feelings when I think he'll have to spend the rest of his life p!ssing and sh!tting and drooling on himself. I half-wish I could've been the one to do it! 

Sorry, I know it was a long ago relationship but I can't help but jump for joy knowing this man is now completely neutralized. If it were me I'd wheel him out and dump him in the river and watch as he can't do anything but drown to death!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I would be more concerned about why you have not moved on over the past several years, and why you are still emotionally invested enough in him to have feelings one way or another.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

samyeagar said:


> I would be more concerned about why you have not moved on over the past several years, and why you are still emotionally invested enough in him to have feelings one way or another.


My thoughts exactly.


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## Somanylemons (May 2, 2015)

I don't think it makes you a bad person, but that behaviour and those thoughts are not healthy or compassionate. I don't think having those thoughts is good for your personal development.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

It would make you a bad person if you caused the accident. But since you didnt and the guy sounds like a tool....karma is a b*tch.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I was going to say it depends but I agree with you.

Stopping a bad guy, even violently, is good.

If you had the strength, back when he started to hurt you physically, it would have been very good to shove his nose through the back of his pin shaped head.

I am glad also. That a bad man who thought it funny to hurt women has been stopped.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

richie33 said:


> It would make you a bad person if you caused the accident. But since you didnt and the guy sounds like a tool....karma is a b*tch.


but it would be a good idea for your own advantage not too appear too gleeful about the latest chain of events here.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

If so, I'm on the same Happy Train as you. If I found out this happened to my abuser of 12 years, I would cry tears of joy and relief. Then I would laugh my azz off. 

I fully realize it's not a healthy way to think, its been 4 years since I found the courage to leave him, but I don't care. A part of me will never fully relinquish the fantasy of the Karma Bus coming for him because it gives my tortured brain a brief reprieve. 

I've been told throughout my life I'm an empathetic and loving person. And I am. I don't think im a bad person for feeling this way about one truly evil and sociopathic bully. I have zero guilt in that regard. What I do have guilt and ugly feelings about is the self hatred I have for allowing myself to let him abuse me for so long.

Im sorry you went through a nightmare with this POS. But I'm happy you got out. And he deserves his lot in life now. Hes not such a big badasz now, is he?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

It can be satisfying when someone who deserves misfortune experiences it. There's a great German word for it: schadenfreude.

So, it's understandable to feel this, but to dwell on it isn't healthy, and in this case, his injuries deserve some sympathy (once past the satisfaction of hearing about them) as they are likely more severe and permanent than anything he caused.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> I would be more concerned about why you have not moved on over the past several years, and why you are still emotionally invested enough in him to have feelings one way or another.





SecondTime'Round said:


> My thoughts exactly.





Somanylemons said:


> I don't think it makes you a bad person, but that behaviour and those thoughts are not healthy or compassionate. I don't think having those thoughts is good for your personal development.


I started a thread a while back about revenge and consequence. These are not consequences of his abusive nature. They are consequences of whatever he was doing at the time or just terrible luck. There is no karma or whatever, there is only good people who sometimes find themselves doing bad things, either by choice or by association. 

I took a look at a few of your posts. How is your marriage going? It looks like you married a man who is probably the opposite of the abusive man. I'm guessing you mistook the abuse that you saw him meting out to others, as strength. I guessing his version of "manly" just rocked your boat and the small things you found in him that the educated would recognize as signs of abuse, you missed. 

Confronted with the horror you likely went through, I imagine it made you purposely run from any man who was in any way strong, which you may have associated with abuse. Add to that, if you felt any feelings for the strong man, you would just be that much more convicted that your picker was broken and be more dedicated to finding a man with nearly completely opposite characteristics. 

If any of this is true, you marriage is in trouble, because you are forcing yourself to be with him because he is safe, but he does not really light your fire. 

I'm truly sorry for you whether this is true or not. I know my post contains plenty of assumptions. I could very well be wrong. I encourage you, even if I was mistaken, to look into what I have said and consider it. 

There are good men out there who are strong and won't abuse you. You have to know what you are looking for and it's really tough when you have been abused. I applaud you for not seeking revenge on your own. I feel the need for revenge for things done to me. I don't act on them either. 

I might feel very good myself if something happened. I don't know. I might also realize it had nothing to do with what was done to me, and that, in and of itself, would not allow my own feelings to fade. All that vengeance would come right back. I would never be free. I'm working on that in my own life. I want to let it go and move on. It's very tough. 

I am sorry for you. I hope you find consolation and peace.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

*Schadenfreude* (/ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/; German: [ˈʃaːdn̩ˌfʀɔɪ̯də] ( listen)) is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.[1] This word is taken from German and literally means "harm-joy". It is the feeling of joy or pleasure when one sees another fail or suffer misfortune. It is also borrowed by some other languages. 

It is often considered to be less acceptable than envy, which is regarded as a deadly sin. It would appear to be morally more perverse to be pleased with another person's misfortune than to be displeased with another person's good fortune. 

So maybe you should dump the good person/bad person characterizations that are somehow allowing you to believe he deserved his injuries. He didn't. I'm sorry he hurt you, but you have a ways to go before you are healed.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

You stuck around for the abuse for a year. Does relishing his current predicament somehow soothe your own guilt for tolerating him for so long? Not saying that you are a bad person. Just think you may need some counseling to come to terms with what happened in your past.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Clearly, you have a conscience: you feel a bit odd about experiencing pleasure at someone else's pain. 

Thoughts come to us and then we have emotions attached to those thoughts. When you heard about him, you thought he finally got what he deserved, so you felt pleasure. 

I do not think this is an irrational response based on something "wrong" with you. Many of us believe--or at least hope--that what goes around, comes around--so seeing a bad person "get theirs" or a good person experience something wonderful satisfies our expectations. 

We have more trouble with "when bad things happen to good people," precisely because this does not suit our belief about the way the world "should" work. That's another discussion.

As for what you need to do, just monitor yourself--wasting any energy--good or bad--about him or that part of your past is probably a misdirection of your resources. A fleeting thought and corresponding emotion when something reminds you of him, sure; but as time passes, those events will occur less and less. In other words, the only mistake would be in dwelling on him, for any reason.

You've moved on, so keep it up.


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## Degausser182 (Jun 17, 2014)

Thanks everyone for the support. I should clarify as bad as it was I only ever thought about him now and then, it was only after I learned about his accident that all the memories came flooding back. But it gave me great joy knowing this POS will have to suffer like this for the rest of his life. Could you imagine if karma did exist and every time a man hits a woman he became instantly paralyzed? It would be such an awesome world to live in! 

I do intend to move on but that doesn't mean I won't jump for joy again if I found out he died and was sent to the deepest, darkest pits of hell. I can say one thing for sure if I saw him again and he was choking to death I wouldn't do a damn thing to help. He lives in a different state so it's very unlikely I'll ever see him again, but if by some chance I saw him again I'd walk right up to him, laugh in his face and say something like "Hope you die a horrible death and maggots eat your crippled corpse!", as well as a few other mean choice words. I have never had as an intense hatred for someone as him.

But I digress, it is what it is.

EDIT: I will say after I left him I decided to get back at him by making his friends and family think he was a KKK member. I knew his friends and family well and I made up a bunch of stuff, and even set him up a subscription to a white nationalist magazine sent to his parents house addressed for him that got his friends and family to believe he was in the KKK. I also went directly to his boss and showed him some "evidence" he was a member of the KKK and he got fired!! HAHA. I don't know if he got it cleared up, but by the time I had left I had his friends and family thinking he was a racist KKK white nationalist and I know a lot of his friends/family stooped talking to him  Cruel maybe, but it sure made me feel


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## Degausser182 (Jun 17, 2014)

Oh, and the "worst" thing I did to him was I talked to his boss (I had met him a few times) acting all concerned and showed him some "evidence" I had about him being in the KKK and I found out he was fired and his reputation went down the drain.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Degausser182 said:


> EDIT: I will say after I left him I decided to get back at him by making his friends and family think he was a KKK member. I knew his friends and family well and I made up a bunch of stuff, and even set him up a subscription to a white nationalist magazine sent to his parents house addressed for him that got his friends and family to believe he was in the KKK. I also went directly to his boss and showed him some "evidence" he was a member of the KKK and he got fired!! HAHA. I don't know if he got it cleared up, but by the time I had left I had his friends and family thinking he was a racist KKK white nationalist and I know a lot of his friends/family stooped talking to him  Cruel maybe, but it sure made me feel





Degausser182 said:


> Oh, and the "worst" thing I did to him was I talked to his boss (I had met him a few times) acting all concerned and showed him some "evidence" I had about him being in the KKK and I found out he was fired and his reputation went down the drain.


I think that this is crossing the line. All you had to do was to leave him and get on with your life.


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## Degausser182 (Jun 17, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> I think that this is crossing the line. All you had to do was to leave him and get on with your life.


Well, I didn't feel at all bad about it then and certainly don't now. When someone is as evil and sub-human as my ex nothing that could be done to him would be "crossing the line". 

Had Hitler been captured instead of being a coward and taking his own life would it have crossed the line to make him walk naked down the street while being tarred and feathered then put in a room to be anally raped over and over? I think not!


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

To be honest. I feel nothing but relief and peace when a bad guy has his ticket punched.

No long lasting burning. No burning at all.

Where I have anxiety is when a bad guy is not taken care of and continues unhindered or mostly unhindered from enjoying life and causing more harm.

Justice brings peace to my soul and justice is often violent.

I am not referring to what passes for a justice system in this country where a man in authority over a 13year old girl can rape her with near impunity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Some people here have made the assumption that they know how much time Degausser has spent thinking about her ex and are now vilifying her for what? Missing out on life/ not accomplishing other things...... what is it exactly.

she takes a couple of minutes to share a thought that is now validated that should not be shared in real life.

How is it that some of these posters know how much time Deguasser thinks about her ex?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

* While totally agreeing with the "karma" part, from a Christian standpoint, I would never advocate gloating in the afterglow about it! Since you're no longer being victimized or traumatized by him, just exercise the maturity to move on with your life!*


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

No offense, but I'm not clear on why you posted this. You're not really looking for any feedback from what I can see from your responses. You seem pretty sure of what you did, how you acted, and why. 

Unless you are maybe looking for a thumbs up? None of us can understand from your point of view precisely, maybe some can relate or went through similar circumstances. But again, I don't read any indecision in your responses. So I can only guess you needed some validation for your feelings, as though they are your savory way of payback or revenge. 

That alone makes me more concerned for your future than any concerns regarding your strong feelings for your abuser. Because hate is just a strong feeling at the end of the day. What actions result from strong feelings will at some point affect others in your life.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Satya said:


> No offense, but I'm not clear on why you posted this. You're not really looking for any feedback from what I can see from your responses. You seem pretty sure of what you did, how you acted, and why.
> 
> Unless you are maybe looking for a thumbs up? None of us can understand from your point of view precisely, maybe some can relate or went through similar circumstances. But again, I don't read any indecision in your responses. So I can only guess you needed some validation for your feelings, as though they are your savory way of payback or revenge.
> 
> That alone makes me more concerned for your future than any concerns regarding your strong feelings for your abuser. Because hate is just a strong feeling at the end of the day. What actions result from strong feelings will at some point affect others in your life.


Shaming.... much. You didn't have to respond..... you know. Your precious time and all.......


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Ellie- said:


> I disagree. Satya was not shaming the OP. I think Satya is just expressing her confusion as to why OP felt the need to post because OP doesn't seem interested in hearing feedback from others. Satya does have a point and I agree with her point.
> Others may agree and disagree and I think it isn't worth anyone's time to be disrespectful of others for either sharing their opinions and feelings.
> Satya has an opinion and feelings and she expressed them. That is all there is to it, and I did not see any ''shaming'' in her reply.



you are absolutely right. I was expressing the same thing to Satya and to what she had written on this thread.

What more do you want?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

When I was a teenager I paid a man to break my friend's dad's leg because he was abusing my friend. You gotta do what you gotta do.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Runs like Dog said:


> When I was a teenager I paid a man to break my friend's dad's leg because he was abusing my friend. You gotta do what you gotta do.


Couldn't you have called CPS?

Breaking legs and making up stories about the KKK (as the OP did) are disturbing actions. It's getting to where this board could use a full-time psychiatrist.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Runs like Dog said:


> When I was a teenager I paid a man to break my friend's dad's leg because he was abusing my friend. You gotta do what you gotta do.


Interesting. Not in a bad or good way. It just is.

Some situations in life are not all cut and dry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Blondilocks said:


> Couldn't you have called CPS?
> 
> Breaking legs and making up stories about the KKK (as the OP did) are disturbing actions. It's getting to where this board could use a full-time psychiatrist.


There was no CPS back then. Not every country in the world has Mother Government.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> There was no CPS back then. Not every country in the world has Mother Government.


There was a time when doing such things to one's child was yet to be deemed a crime.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Degausser182 said:


> EDIT: I will say after I left him I decided to get back at him by making his friends and family think he was a KKK member. I knew his friends and family well and I made up a bunch of stuff, and even set him up a subscription to a white nationalist magazine sent to his parents house addressed for him that got his friends and family to believe he was in the KKK. I also went directly to his boss and showed him some "evidence" he was a member of the KKK and he got fired!! HAHA. I don't know if he got it cleared up, but by the time I had left I had his friends and family thinking he was a racist KKK white nationalist and I know a lot of his friends/family stooped talking to him  Cruel maybe, but it sure made me feel


Wow. 

Your feelings are understandable and there's no shame in them. Actions are another matter.

If you believe in karma, you may have some coming back at you for this crap.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

zillard said:


> Wow.
> 
> Your feelings are understandable and there's no shame in them. Actions are another matter.
> 
> If you believe in karma, you may have some coming back at you for this crap.


:iagree:

Fantasizing and being downright gleeful at an abuser's misfortune is totally different than having a hand in the abuser's misfortune. Remember karma works both ways.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> I think that this is crossing the line. All you had to do was to leave him and get on with your life.


:iagree: and it's unhealthy. 

You are just as bad as the bully if you bully the person back. At some point you have to be the bigger person and just move on. Don't try to get even, don't try to punish him, don't rejoice in his suffering. Just focus on your own life and do what makes you happy. 

My ex tried to rape me and was verbally abusive. For as much as he hurt me, I don't wish ill intent on him. I hope he grows up and becomes a better person, never doing what he did to me to anyone else. I've moved on and don't think about him. I've gotten to a much better place and hope you'll get there at some point, too.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

I'm called to forgiveness as part of my faith. It's the hardest part for me.

I'm not one for revenge, and don't advocate it. Just the same, there have been some people in my life that if I saw them catch fire, I wouldn't p!ss on them to put it out.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Fozzy said:


> I'm called to forgiveness as part of my faith. It's the hardest part for me.
> 
> I'm not one for revenge, and don't advocate it. Just the same, there have been some people in my life that if I saw them catch fire, I wouldn't p!ss on them to put it out.


I only forgive those who are repentant and serious about changing.

Otherwise I highly endorse revenge, few things can be more satisfying! It's a natural feeling and helps to keep the world in equilibrium.



Anonymous07 said:


> :iagree: and it's unhealthy.
> 
> You are just as bad as the bully if you bully the person back. At some point you have to be the bigger person and just move on. Don't try to get even, don't try to punish him, don't rejoice in his suffering. Just focus on your own life and do what makes you happy.


I disagree, some people need to put down and suffer the consequences of their actions. If no one takes the initiative they will go free and continue their spree. If my daughter is being bullied in school I'd encourage her to get even and have the bully at her feet. Revenge can make you very very happy!

If karma exists we wouldn't have need of laws and consequences to keep society in check. Anyway I don't like the topic title "am I a bad person", morality is relative.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> I only forgive those who are repentant and serious about changing.
> 
> Otherwise I highly endorse revenge, few things can be more satisfying! It's a natural feeling and helps to keep the world in equilibrium.


Forgiveness is not about saying what they did is "okay" and all is good. It's more so about letting go of what happened so you can move on to a more healthy mental state. I have "forgiven" my ex for what he did to me, but that doesn't mean I think what he did was okay by any means. What he did was horrible, but I've moved on.



RandomDude said:


> I disagree, some people need to put down and suffer the consequences of their actions. If no one takes the initiative they will go free and continue their spree. If my daughter is being bullied in school I'd encourage her to get even and have the bully at her feet. Revenge can make you very very happy!
> 
> If karma exists we wouldn't have need of laws and consequences to keep society in check. Anyway I don't like the topic title "am I a bad person", morality is relative.


It was not a consequence of his actions for her to ruin his reputation by making up stories. She lowered herself to that sad level to try to get even instead of just leaving him and moving on. What does that say about yourself if you lower yourself to their level? 

I was bullied a lot in school, but never used it as an excuse to bully others. Most bullies do so because they are insecure themselves, so they have to put others down to feel better. If I am doing it right back, it doesn't exactly make me look or feel good. I just don't get satisfaction from hurting others.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I have learned that when you don't stop bad people they do bad things.

I am for stopping bad guys. Violence is often a necessity to accomplish this.

It gives me good sleep and much peace and freedom of spirit when a bad guy is stopped.

I think wishing evil well is evil. I hope people repent and become better but that doesn't let them off the hook for harming others.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Bullies enjoy hurting people that don't have it coming.

I love crushing bullies. They make funny faces when you are twisting them into a pretzel. Like they can't believe anyone would dare to raise a hand to them.

They are roaches that should have been stepped on a long time ago.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

* I would think that the old Chinese proverb is most apropos here:

"When seeking revenge, one should first dig two graves."*


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Bullies enjoy hurting people that don't have it coming.
> 
> I love crushing bullies. They make funny faces when you are twisting them into a pretzel. Like they can't believe anyone would dare to raise a hand to them.
> 
> ...


I can get behind this, to an extent. Have been very satisfied holding a larger bully up against a wall by his throat... to stop him from bullying another. 

No problem with that. 

Lying out my @ss spreading nasty rumors around town, the Kind of rumors that can affect a whole family for years... not cool.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Anonymous07 said:


> Forgiveness is not about saying what they did is "okay" and all is good. It's more so about letting go of what happened so you can move on to a more healthy mental state. I have "forgiven" my ex for what he did to me, but that doesn't mean I think what he did was okay by any means. What he did was horrible, but I've moved on.


I can agree that yes, forgiveness is more for the forgiver then the forgiven. However, for certain crimes, I find it much more satisfying to strip the forgiver of their pride first and have them at my mercy before I forgive.



> It was not a consequence of his actions for her to ruin his reputation by making up stories. She lowered herself to that sad level to try to get even instead of just leaving him and moving on. What does that say about yourself if you lower yourself to their level?
> 
> I was bullied a lot in school, but never used it as an excuse to bully others. Most bullies do so because they are insecure themselves, so they have to put others down to feel better. If I am doing it right back, it doesn't exactly make me look or feel good. I just don't get satisfaction from hurting others.


I don't believe in telling myself "I'm better" or taking up any "righteous" stance. I believe only in the satisfaction that comes 

You don't get satisfaction from hurting others, that's a good thing. I don't have such virtues - nor do I desire them  (or encourage them, but that's just me)
I relish in the taste of vengeance, it's one of my many joys in life!



ConanHub said:


> I love crushing bullies. They make funny faces when you are twisting them into a pretzel.


Haha! Aye! It always makes me smile when you reduce them to tears.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I posted this not long ago .. on this thread (a little along similar lines )...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...n-people-who-seek-revenge-those-who-dont.html

The Revenge thing.. I like to believe what goes around -eventually comes back around.. if one is a Hurtful unsympathetic, lacking empathy type person.. it WILL COME AROUND ...our actions have consequences in the real world.. people won't put up with that ! 

And those who treat others with respect, Love & caring.. generally bring happiness to others. 

Also, very angry people are generally hurting inside.... this is why they hurt other people..(or they are just spoiled & narcissistic) ..many are dealing with their own demons in the moment.. having to live with someone like this though, who isn't working on themselves..just tiring.. exhausting... if they take the brunt out on the innocents around them. 

There is this curious Proverb in the bible.. *Proverbs 24:17* that says " Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him".

Now being human & all. Come on.. we'll be smiling when we see someone we feel has it coming to them- get BURNED.. but all in all.. we have to keep this in perspective.. the best revenge is.. focusing on moving forward where you are loved for who you are & give back.. finding your own happiness.. 

We don't want to give too much power or emotional energy to someone who isn't there for us, who has hurt us.. they need blocked & become a distant memory...as this is a wasting of our lives.. 

I also like this.. 










I have Jewish Author Harold Kushner's "When Bad things happen to God people"..(the book)... I read this many yrs ago.... his son was born with a degenerative disease (Progeria)...he died in his early teens... Some people, through no fault of their own, just the luck of the draw , face such devastation.. then others willingly BRING IT UPON others -for kicks.. watching the news this morning.. random shooting , a son watches his father shot in the head.. just driving down the road.. 

If someone LIKE THAT finds themselves in some quicksand.. I am not going to lend my hand to save them.. ya know..


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Wouldn't call it a waste, I still remember fondly many times I have educated several people in action and consequence. Some I have paid thousands for, including my unemployability due to my record. Consequences I've always been willing to bear, for the satisfaction of revenge. 

Sometimes these consequences are positive. For example, my mother in law always hated me, for my lack of etiquette, my lack of education, lack of finances, lack of 'whiteness' despite being non-white herself. It drove me to revenge, I wanted to strip her pride by making her out to be a fool. And I did, after years of up to 84 hr work weeks, I achieved success that she never dreamed of. I gained more authority and respect within her family than even her herself, not to mention the satisfaction of having her swallow her pride and come to me with an apology was worth it.

Revenge, isn't all about beating up bullies, even though that always makes me day whenever the opportunity presents itself. Hatred as well as love are powerful emotions that can drive you to achieve, and the satisfaction it entails, I would have it no other way.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Speaking of revenge, sometimes I wonder about the line that some of us can cross, others can't. For me, when someone is at my mercy, once I'm satisfied with it, I tend to be merciful and forgive. Some crimes though, that trigger such hate in me that if I ever got my hands on that person I could see myself feeding him alive to rats and watching it - such as that gangrape murder in India a while back when a bunch of rapists tortured, raped, disemboweled a woman (on a bus!!!) and left her remains on the road. That, I can't find myself ever being merciful if I ever had them at my mercy.

Some crimes are just too despicable, when such humanity is stripped from them, do they seriously deserve to be treated as human beings? They don't even deserve to be treated as animals IMO - hell IMO they deserve to be treated like the monsters they are, and need to be extinct, not the world I want to live in let alone raise my daughter in!

By hey, just my two cents on the whole revenge thing...



SimplyAmorous said:


> watching the news this morning.. random shooting , a son watches his father shot in the head.. just driving down the road..
> 
> *If someone LIKE THAT finds themselves in some quicksand.. I am not going to lend my hand to save them.. ya know..*


Just curious SA, and you don't need to answer.

What if I was the one who put him in quicksand for what he did. What would you do?


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

You can move on without having to forgive.

Individuals should concentrate on getting on with their lives and not on forgiving, what it means and how to implement.

I think it can be dangerous to "forgive", especially within a tight social circle or within a family. Too many people will want to rugsweep and will want to interpret the act of forgiving as a green light to assuming that everything is okay again. No need for boundaries and other protections.

Anyone who hassles you to forgive is a bully and has an agenda of their own.,

ETA: If anyone does hassle you to forgive, simply "have they forgiven me?" This will elecit the question "Forgive you for what?" And you can answer "for whatever I did to encourage what they did to me." You will definitely get blank stares after that. But most likely, they will never hassle you again.


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