# Should he apologize?



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

My husband had an affair last year with a woman 14 years younger than himself. It devastated me. I went through crying everyday for two months and now I am just angry. It's been 9 months since D Day.

I found out about the affair from the OW's husband. He and I spoke off and on for 5 months straight after he spilled the beans about his wife and my husband's affair. He was the only one to tell me the truth about the affair. So naturally, I have a soft spot for him and a sense of loyalty to him because he was so honest with me about what he knew, unlike my husband. Plus, I saw him as equal to me in this disaster - both loyal partners to the deceitful cheating spouses. 

His marriage with his wife has ended, and they are in a court battle for custody of their only child, and here I am still working with my husband on our marriage. I do feel guilty about that. I feel so bad for his current situation that I requested my husband to apologize to him. I brought that up during our counseling session one day. But it wasn't well received by my husband. 

My rational thinking is this - if my husband truly does regret ever partaking in the sexcapades with this man's wife like he has told me and has cried about to me, why wouldn't he tell her husband that too? Write a short letter stating what he has told me could bring some peace to that man. I mean, why tell me how he regrets it, but stop there. Is that true remorse? I know I would love an apology as well, but I doubt I would ever get it from her, she is immature and didn't take responsibilities for her actions. 

Plus what drives me crazy is my husband has anger towards her husband based on what the OW said about him. And although my husband has no contact with her anymore, nor has he ever met her husband, he still believes all her words, which gives him the fuel to hate her husband and not apologize. And this bothers me because I feel like she really convinced my husband that her husband is just this bad person, and he isn't. He was loyal, just like me. So when he refuses to apologize, it makes me feel like he is saying I don't deserve an apology either.

I merely want my husband to not just tell me how he screwed up, but take full responsibility for his bad decision in all aspects and show me he is remorseful for his actions. And apologizing to her husband would do that for me. It's the grand gesture, if you will. He would be putting aside his pride and owning his bad decision. I mean he continued to mess around with her against her husband's wishes. Her husband called mine at work and told him to stay away and my husband did what he wanted with no respect for their marriage or family. Is it wrong for me to push the apology? We are getting along better now and working it out, but I still feel bad for the OW husband. And I feel like I need this to see true remorse.


----------



## marriageontherocks2 (Oct 4, 2017)

I think you got a little caught up with the other woman's husband and this is more about him and you than you and your husband. If your husband doesn't feel a need to apologize, even if he relented it wouldn't be genuine so there's no point in a disingenuous apology.

Aside from that, why do you want to stay with your husband? He sounds like an *******.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Sorry you are going through this.

Might be best to break all ties with the other woman's ex-husband. In your weakened state, it would be easy to justify a revenge affair. 

She sounds like she played your husband. Was your husband very experienced in dating before you married? 

He has to believe her, and for all you know, it might be true. Something made your husband go to her. Do you have any ideas why he might have? 

Sounds like you are way too close to this guy. It sounds like an emotional affair. 

Sadly, I don't think your husband owes him an apology. I think it would be a grand gesture, but not an obligation. That man's wife owes him something. They were in a marriage contract. She broke the contract with her husband. Your husband broke it with you. 

How has your husband tried to show you remorse so far?


----------



## Slartibartfast (Nov 7, 2017)

..


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

While I see what you're saying and completely get where you're coming from, it's a really bad idea.

If I were ever to cross paths with a woman who slept with my husband, knowing he was married, I would scratch her eyes out. I would have zero interest in anything she had to say to me, nor would I believe a word that comes out of her mouth. She's a cheater. Cheaters lie. End of story.


----------



## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

It's not a grand gesture, it's well beyond that (as in not what you really think it is) because you are trying to control it, therefore it is a controlling gesture from you, for you.

Remorse forced is not remorse... that is why the pushback is there.

If it isn't volunteered... you have the answers you need.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Loyalty said:


> My husband had an affair last year with a woman 14 years younger than himself. It devastated me. I went through crying everyday for two months and now I am just angry. It's been 9 months since D Day.
> 
> I found out about the affair from the OW's husband. He and I spoke off and on for 5 months straight after he spilled the beans about his wife and my husband's affair. He was the only one to tell me the truth about the affair. So naturally, I have a soft spot for him and a sense of loyalty to him because he was so honest with me about what he knew, unlike my husband. Plus, I saw him as equal to me in this disaster - both loyal partners to the deceitful cheating spouses.
> 
> ...



Honestly your husband probably only cares that he got caught. When people show you who they are believe them. Really you are probably wrong to tie your life down to a remorseless cheater.


----------



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

I respect your opinion, but I never had any interest in the OW's husband except my need to know the facts about the affair because I was in the dark for 9 months. Once I found out what I needed, we ceased all communication in June, which was for the best. My soft spot for him was because he and I were going through the same thing and I know a genuine apology would be nice and help me move on. 

I stay in the marriage because we have a child together, a home, and I still love him despite his stupidity, plus we have history.


----------



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

2ntnuf said:


> Sorry you are going through this.
> 
> Might be best to break all ties with the other woman's ex-husband. In your weakened state, it would be easy to justify a revenge affair.
> 
> ...


Yes, my husband was experienced and got around before we ever dated. He was single for 5 years and dated a lot. When I came around, he was ready to settle down. He was the one that pursued the OW. He would see her at her job and chat with her and she felt comfortable enough to rag on her husband. My husband looked it up on google why a married woman would do that, and trusty Google told my husband it is a symptom of a woman looking to cheat and he pursued her. He admitted that to me. 

He cheated because he was always the lady's man, but now he is middle age, heavier and going thin on top. He always liked attention and flirted. She was 29 and he was 43 when the affair took place last year. She stroked his ego, and he stroked her ego. Plus he found out 7 months before his father has terminal cancer and is dying. I've read that can trigger affairs. But I always thought we were good. We were always physical (2-3 times a week), and we did things together. 

I didn't have an emotional affair with the OW husband. I just clung to him for truth since my husband didn't give it to me. And I was sympathetic because his marriage ended. Mine is still in the working through it process.

He has shown remorse by cryin during counseling and at home, although he doesn't do that much anymore. He is finally opening up about the affair regarding details I've had questions about that he refused to answer in the past, but it took me willing to end the marriage to get to this stage. He has read one book that I had to bug him to read, he's changed his phone number and we willingly have a Find My Friends App on one another.


----------



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

Slartibartfast said:


> You say: "...she is immature and didn't take responsibilities for her actions." Now who does that sound like? Someone who's still trying to blame a husband for the wife cheating with him? I guess I question whether he regrets anything but being caught. The bad man didn't make him do it. Nor did the bad man make her do it.
> 
> I don't think it's an apology that's really what you ought to be worrying about. You know, I think you have standing to demand just about anything that's not just patently outrageous. (Like your husband must call in every thirty minutes when he's out of your sight. That would be outrageous.) And I personally don't thing that even if the OW's husband was a d*** it excuses anything. And apologies can be good for you, even if you don't technically owe one. I once years ago, when dealing with anger issues, made it a practice to apologize to doors when I had slammed them. I didn't owe the door an apology. It was just a slab of wood. I myself deserved the apology. Did considerable good, too.
> 
> I guess I wouldn't be too quick to believe there's any true remorse. Where would this remorse spring from. Not from within, surely. That might have been true if he had realized he'd made a mistake and revealed it to you. But I think you're saying the OW's husband broke the news. If he hadn't discovered it, would it still be going on? Your husband has a lot to prove if he's to be believed. It's a heavy burden, but it's one he has to accept if he wants any chance at all of resolving it. And if he's still deflecting this back on the husband, I don't believe him.


Exactly, that is why I want him to apologize. He is blaming her husband for her cheating. So looking at it, does this mean he is blaming me why he strayed? I can't, nor will I take full responsibility for his choice to cheat. He made this bad decision on his own, not me. I have to suffer with it while attempting to work it out. 

You asked if the affair would still be going on had her husband not discovered it? I don't know. Her husband had physical evidence of what occurred and that is why his wife came clean to him. She had no choice. She started to keep her distance from my husband in June 2016, but my husband told her he loved her that same month to keep her interested and doing what he wanted like meeting him for lunch, coffee, sending text messages, etc. He was the driving force for this affair. It ended right before her husband served her divorce papers in August 2016. Then she had a new boyfriend within two weeks time and friend zoned my husband. But their flirting and I Love You's continued on through November 2016. The affair was over before I found out about it, although they were still in touch and flirting up until D-Day, which was February 2017.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

He crapped on you pretty badly. 

How long have you been married? First time for both? 

Do you have children? Are they adults or still living at home and raising them? 

Do you want to reconcile or do you want to make a life of your own?


----------



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

frusdil said:


> While I see what you're saying and completely get where you're coming from, it's a really bad idea.
> 
> If I were ever to cross paths with a woman who slept with my husband, knowing he was married, I would scratch her eyes out. I would have zero interest in anything she had to say to me, nor would I believe a word that comes out of her mouth. She's a cheater. Cheaters lie. End of story.


Makes sense...although I was raised with "treat others how you want to be treated." I was always taught that if you hurt someone, you apologize. She met me not once but twice. I confronted her the second time and she choose not to answer any of my questions. And it did get heated pretty quickly. But a letter of remorse would have been nice. But both are liars, so I understand where you are coming from.


----------



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

Emerging Buddhist said:


> It's not a grand gesture, it's well beyond that (as in not what you really think it is) because you are trying to control it, therefore it is a controlling gesture from you, for you.
> 
> Remorse forced is not remorse... that is why the pushback is there.
> 
> If it isn't volunteered... you have the answers you need.


Yes, your right. I thought by me explaining to him why I need it, it would prompt him to do right and do it. But it has made me look at him in even more of a negative light. And it's sad because I used to have him on a pedal stool.


----------



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

Honestly your husband probably only cares that he got caught. When people show you who they are believe them. Really you are probably wrong to tie your life down to a remorseless cheater.[/QUOTE]

My thoughts exactly. The fact that he was able to come home after and act like normal tells me he had very little to no guilt. Only when I confronted him did he get all teary eyed and upset. He told me it had been eating him up, but obviously not enough to come clean.


----------



## TheOriginalAlphaOmega (Nov 16, 2017)

Loyalty said:


> I stay in the marriage because we have a child together, a home, and I still love him despite his stupidity, plus we have *history*.


I have a dog. He's very loyal. And we have history. If he ever turned on me and decided to bite me...I may just more than consider ending the relationship.


----------



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

2ntnuf said:


> He crapped on you pretty badly.
> 
> How long have you been married? First time for both?
> 
> ...


We have been together 14 years, married for 10 years. We have one child that is 7 years old. We are raising our child at home. I am trying to reconcile because I do love him, but my heart, trust and faith in us is pretty black and blue. It's been 9 months since I've found out the truth and I'm experiencing the roller coaster of emotions. Whenever I get really low and tell him we should separate, that is when I see him grasp our marriage telling me how much he wants to work it out. But I don't know if I truly believe him. Does it take him sleeping with another woman to realize he wants to work it out with me?


----------



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

TheOriginalAlphaOmega said:


> Loyalty said:
> 
> 
> > I stay in the marriage because we have a child together, a home, and I still love him despite his stupidity, plus we have *history*.
> ...


I get it. That's my fault, I'm loyal to the end. And it was something I was always proud of. Loyal to the company I work for for over 10 years, loyal to friends I've had since elementary school (30 plus years), loyal to my hair dresser for 20 plus years. It's a weakness of mine. Loyalty, as much as I believe in it has in fact made me weak.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Loyalty said:


> We have been together 14 years, married for 10 years. We have one child that is 7 years old. We are raising our child at home. I am trying to reconcile because I do love him, but my heart, trust, and faith in us is pretty black and blue. It's been 9 months since I've found out the truth and I'm experiencing the roller coaster of emotions. Whenever I get really low and tell him we should separate, that is when I see him grasp our marriage telling me how much he wants to work it out. But I don't know if I truly believe him. Does it take him sleeping with another woman to realize he wants to work it out with me?


This is tough. I do not think you should insist on him apologizing to the other BS. You must focus on you and your own marriage and whether he is remorseful to you.
Honestly, based on what you have said your WH does not sound remorseful at all, if you do not get this sorted now, it will eat away at you and you may end the marriage in the future. Your WH needs to know this. Are you in MC together.
I hope you have cut ties with the other BS as you seem to be too concerned about him, dangerous territory imo.


----------



## Loyalty (Nov 7, 2017)

aine said:


> Loyalty said:
> 
> 
> > We have been together 14 years, married for 10 years. We have one child that is 7 years old. We are raising our child at home. I am trying to reconcile because I do love him, but my heart, trust, and faith in us is pretty black and blue. It's been 9 months since I've found out the truth and I'm experiencing the roller coaster of emotions. Whenever I get really low and tell him we should separate, that is when I see him grasp our marriage telling me how much he wants to work it out. But I don't know if I truly believe him. Does it take him sleeping with another woman to realize he wants to work it out with me?
> ...


I agree, while I feel he is remorseful (he cried during counseling and during other conversations we had when I first found out - which I don't usually see him do), but another part of me wonders if it is because he got caught. I know he could have lived with this secret, which is something I don't understand. How can he live with it when he knows it would kill our marriage? Our relationship was not bad. I thought we had a good one. It became mundane since we are parents have have the adulr responsibilities, but they are priorities. We have bills to pay, homework with our child, etc., and so forth. We are in marriage counseling together and I have read 3 self help books so far.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Maybe those tears were for himself. 

It can take years to work through infidelity and you are still early in the process. Give yourself time.


----------



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Loyalty said:


> Is it wrong for me to push the apology? We are getting along better now and working it out, but I still feel bad for the OW husband. And I feel like I need this to see true remorse.


and



> ... He has shown remorse by cryin during counseling and at home, although he doesn't do that much anymore. He is finally opening up about the affair regarding details I've had questions about that he refused to answer in the past, but it took me willing to end the marriage to get to this stage. He has read one book that I had to bug him to read, he's changed his phone number and we willingly have a Find My Friends App on one another.


 @Loyalty, 

I don't think it's a wise idea to insist your disloyal spouse apologize to his OW's soon-to-be-ex husband. The idea of no contact is that there is NO CONTACT of any kind between the affair partners, and that would include incidental contact coming from his spouse (you) and her spouse (OWH). Ideally, you want to aim at an entirely clean break and no interaction in any way between those two--so let that sleeping dog lie. 

I also don't think it's a wise idea to PUSH anything on your disloyal spouse. Here's what I mean: if you act in a way that forces another person to do something they really don't want to do, it builds resentment. You are not recognizing them as an equal person, and that build resentment. You are demanding rather than requesting, and demanding builds resentment. In other words, "Making" or "Forcing" or "Pushing" someone to do something is controlling...and you don't want to be a controlling spouse, do you? 

I think we all agree that we hope the best for our spouses, and we wish they would choose to be decent people who do the right thing. But your spouse is a fully-grown adult exactly the same as you, and even if you don't agree, he is free to make decisions for his own life...even decisions you don't like! To use layman's terms, he can be a jerk if he wants to, and you can't really stop him. If you do try to control him, and he doesn't really want to do it but also doesn't have the courage to say "no", then very likely he'll behave in a Passive-Aggressive way such as "forgetting" to do what he said he would do...because he didn't want to do it in the first place! 

So rather than PUSHING things on him and MAKING HIM apologize, respectfully request it. A respectful request start with the knowledge that if you ask, they have the absolutely right to say "no" and mean it...and then tell you what they would be willing to do. A respectful request sounds like this: "When you (describe event factually here)...I THINK (say out loud what you think)...I FEEL (use emotional words here)... and so I'd like to ask if you'd be willing to (present your request here)." 

Now, I speak to you @Loyalty as someone who was formerly disloyal. There are darn few of us who ever recover from this, I'll just state it right now. And I want you to know that as someone who's been in your hubby's shoes and recovered from it, I don't hear things that sound like he truly REPENTS for what he's done. 

There is a difference between REPENTING and REMORSE. Being remorseful is when you are sad, but it's usually sorrow at having to experience the pain of the consequence of their choices. Being repentant is when you admit to your own self that what you did was wrong, you take full personal responsibility for it, you sorrow that you acted like you did, and you STOP IT of your own accord (you want to stop...you're ready), AND you do the exact opposite and start to work on helping your spouse and learning how to put others first. So can you see the difference? Remorse is still centered on the SELF, whereas repentance is starting to be OTHERS-centered.

So *remorse *would be being sorry he got caught, or sorry he has to go to counseling now, or sorry he can't have any fun.... get the idea? Now I'm not advocating that you "give him consequences" because that can fairly easily cross the line into punishment, and who are you to punish someone? You're imperfect same as them....but nature has it's own costs to choosing to be unfaithful. The easiest natural consequence to see is that the old marriage has been nuked. It is DUST and no matter what, it will never, ever "be the way it used to be." YOU will never have that naive, innocent trust and admiration for him, even if he does repent and live the rest of his life being completely faithful...because part of you has changed. He also will never be the same, because now he knows he can go that low. So very often, wanting it to "go back to the way it used to be" is a sign of remorse. He just wants it all to go away but have to do none of the work to fix the mess he's made. Disloyal spouses who are remorseful usually refuse to answer questions, act like the loyal spouse is partly to blame, and don't really want to participate in counseling and just do it avoid divorce. 

On the other hand, *repentance *would also be being sorry, but the sorrow is where their pride has been laid down and they realize they were wrong and what they did was wrong. It's also sorrow at knowing that being 100% personally responsible for making the choice to be unfaithful (really it's 1000 tiny little choices, over and over crossing little lines, until you look back and you're a mile away from your own personal values). The attitude of a repentant person is usually more like they WANT to go to counseling, of their own accord, because they're aware that some part of them is in trouble because look what they chose to do! Something's wrong with them! And usually there's some empathy for what they've done to their spouse, like they can see the hurt and damage they've done and seeing that pain makes them SORROW. Someone who's repentant will come up with their own ways to stay out of contact and "avoid even the appearance of evil." See...it's not enough to just stop the affair (although that is a good, big first step of stopping "the wrong thing") but there also has to be the next step: "starting the right thing." Not only does a Disloyal need to stop being unfaithful--they have to learn to and start to BE FAITHFUL!

And when someone really means it and is really repentant they do it all on their own because they want to. In your marriage, if you chose to walk away today...a remorseful disloyal would go right back to being unfaithful with a new tart or toy...but a repentant disloyal would continue their counseling on their own and learn how to be a better person so if they ever chose to be with some other person, they'd know how to be FAITHFUL. 

Does this make sense?


----------



## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

You are never going to know the full truth of what transpired to cause your husband and this woman to have an affair, he blames her husband, the OW probably blames you. It's all bull ****, they just wanted to have sex because sex is fun.

If you think your husband apologizing to the guy will be a changing moment in how you feel you are wrong, you are looking for remorse in any form because you are desperate for some assurance that your husband feels badly for what he has done. Your husband needs to focus on you 100% for the marriage to continue, and the OW needs to focus on her husband for theirs to survive. Your life and their life should never cross paths again, no contact what so ever.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Loyalty said:


> My rational thinking is this - if my husband truly does regret ever partaking in the sexcapades with this man's wife like he has told me and has cried about to me, why wouldn't he tell her husband that too? Write a short letter stating what he has told me could bring some peace to that man. I mean, why tell me how he regrets it, but stop there. Is that true remorse? I know I would love an apology as well, but I doubt I would ever get it from her, she is immature and didn't take responsibilities for her actions.


Why won't your REMORSELESS cheating husband act like a man of integrity and own up to his sleazy behavior to the BH? Because he doesn't stand to GAIN anything from doing it, that's why.

However, his big crocodile tears and telling you how much he 'regrets' his affair (a/k/a how much he regrets getting *caught*) gains him A LOT - he avoids being booted out the front door, he avoids losing half his assets in divorce court, he avoids possibly paying child support and alimony every month, he avoids having to live on his own and not have a woman catering to his every need, he avoids having to be an every other weekend dad and having to care for his kids all on his own without YOU doing the lion's share of it, and his big tears of regret keep him at home so all his friend's family and co-workers have no clue what a POS he really is. Unlike the OW whose been shamed pretty much in front of everyone she knows and loves with her husband divorcing her.

So, your husband has EVERYTHING to gain with his big show of crying (he's crying for HIMSELF, not for *your* pain) but stands to gain nothing by showing another human being compassion or contrition for his wrongs. For you? The waterworks will flow freely if he wants to avoid divorce court. What a phony.



> ....he still believes all her words, which gives him the fuel to hate her husband and not apologize.


LOL. He just continues showing you what a *true* POS he really is, doesn't he?

You DO know you're wasting your time 'reconciling' with a completely remorseless cheater, don't you?



> I merely want my husband to not just tell me how he screwed up, but take full responsibility for his bad decision in all aspects and show me he is remorseful for his actions.


He feels his phony tears and being dragged to counseling is more than enough to satisfy you, I'm sure.



> Her husband called mine at work and told him to stay away and my husband did what he wanted with no respect for their marriage or family.


Of course he did. And it would have continued *indefinitely* had her husband not reached out to you. Your husband didn't stop his affair because he wanted to. He supposedly stopped it because he had no choice.

And that's why you'll never see true remorse out of him. He'll probably fake it for you like a lot of them do for the sake of peace and the desire to get back to normal life, but quite honestly, he sounds like an arrogant, self-entitled, self-absorbed ass-hole who has no compassion for anyone but himself.


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Loyalty said:


> I agree, while I feel he is remorseful (he cried during counseling and during other conversations we had when I first found out - which I don't usually see him do), but another part of me wonders if it is because he got caught. I know he could have lived with this secret, which is something I don't understand. How can he live with it when he knows it would kill our marriage? Our relationship was not bad. I thought we had a good one. It became mundane since we are parents have have the adulr responsibilities, but they are priorities. We have bills to pay, homework with our child, etc., and so forth. We are in marriage counseling together and I have read 3 self help books so far.


I think you're confusing REGRET with remorse.

He no doubt regrets that he got caught. Because now, he has to live under a microscope and be transparent with you 24/7. He's forfeited his right to privacy and has to account for every second of his whereabouts. He's lost your trust which sucks for him because now he has to work his ass off trying to earn it back by continually placating you and proving his 'worth' to you. Plus, he has to sit in counseling and be told what a POS he is (and he *is* a POS) because he's clearly shown you that he has ZERO respect for anyone else and is beyond selfish and self-absorbed. And lastly, he has to see your look of disgust and disappoitment every time you look at him.

So he *REGRETS* getting caught because he's dealing with the consequences of his behavior.

That's what regret is.

REMORSE is his ability to feel empathy for *YOUR* pain. Yes, yours. Up to now, it's been ALL about him and his big phony tears about how much _he_ regrets what he's done and blah blah blah.

Remorse would drive him to do whatever it is *you* need in order to feel loved, secure and safe once more. From the sounds of your posts, none of that is happening expect for some pacification from him and some MINIMAL effort to do what you want him to do (going to counseling, etc.) to avoid being kicked out of the house.

He's so completely remorseless and arrogant that he's STILL justifying his disgusting and vile choice to continue his affair with his OW even *after* her husband told him to stop and to respect his marriage.

THAT'S the POS you married. I'm sorry, but THAT'S who you married.

You can't sugar coat it, either.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I'm all for it. I believe someone should try to make amends if they are remorseful.

Your husband is a piece of recycled cat poop 💩!

Best wishes and may you and your child have a happy Thanksgiving! 

You're both living with a big turkey anyway, maybe he needs roasted.


----------



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

The fact that your husband is mad at OW's husband tells me he is still emotionally invested. I don't think you should question him anymore about apologizing to OW's husband. It has to come from him and clearly, he feels no remorse. This should tell you everything you need to know about your future with your husband.

And I think that's wonderful you are a very loyal person but your husband does not deserve your loyalty. It is falling on deaf ears. After all, where was his loyalty to you?

He hasn't even begun an nth of what it takes to reconcile. He's pissed because his cake is gone.


----------



## WildMustang (Nov 7, 2017)

I look at it like this:

I LOVE sex as much as anyone and I would dare say more than a LOT of people, both women and men.

If I can keep my pants on when around sexy people, my partner can too.

And if he can't, I'm out.

I can't and won't be with a man I don't trust.


----------

