# Wife wants out



## lswanson (May 24, 2016)

So my wife wants out of our marriage. I have been married once before with 3 girls. She had never been married but has a son and we have a daughter together. (5 kids total) We dated for 3yrs before being married the last 3yrs. She really pushed on me to get married then to have a child of our own. I didn't want anymore kids but she told me she couldn't marry me if we couldn't have a kid of our own. I love her so much I said ok we deserve that. After our daughter was born I got a vasectomy (that we agreed on) Since the day she was born she has slept in our bed (2yrs now) I am not one that believes in that (the bedroom is our space to get away) so over time I have just felt pushed out. We have had our little arguments as couples do and I work very hard to support our family and she is a stay at home mom. She says I don't appreciate anything she does and never listen to her opinions and feel her feelings. I have always been here for her but she is one of those that says (I want this and I want it now) so if I bach on it she gets mad. So in March she told me she was done and wants out. W agreed we would wait till the kids got out of school so it would not disrupt them. I have talked a pastor about the situation but she will not. She wont listen to family or friends. In april she did have an affair and then continued to talk to him. I caught one of her conversations and she claims it was just a joke and it was none of my business and tried to justify it. She does has a place to move and school is out in one day. I have shown her nothing but respect and love and she slams the door in my face everyday. She says she still loves me and cares (ya she cheated) She wont say when she is leaving and I cant be treated like this anymore (feeling used) I still pay the bills cook clean most the chores as I always have while she is on facebook 70% of the day and she knows she does not have to give back. I have really found out how strong my heart and mind are these last 3 months for they have been ripped out and stomped on many times. I want her gone so I can have some relief but I love her and want our family that we have worked so hard for together. What hurts me the worst is the main reason she is leaving is she wants more kids (I guess what I have given isn't enough)


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Honestly, start the separation and detachment pronto. If you cook and clean for her, stop all that you would do for and with a partner. Pretend you are divorced because she has already left and do not let her use you.

Princess syndrome and she was the majority factor for your relationship break-up as she did not share in the burden on an equal level. You're only human with human limitations and you have also neglected yourself which in the long run is hazardous to your mental and physical health. She is a hazard to your health as well.

Own your thing, but do not own her's. Look at what her actions has done to you. Because of her demands and unwillingness to share the burdens, you have neglected yourself.

Let the other guy have her. How well did you know her before marriage? Were there red flags or did she hide them well?

I agree with you, couples need their quality time that is both sexual and nonsexual. Also, communication means receiving and she only transmits from the sounds of it. You cannot make someone listen.

Protect yourself with a lawyer.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Consult an attorney, file, and send her packing.

Also, get into counseling to figure out why yo uh tolerated the intolerable for so long. Ask yourself this: had she not cheated and said she wanted out, would you have continued to put up with this situation? I suspect you won't like the answer. 

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

She used you. 

I know this is difficult but you need to be making plans that benefit you -- not her -- and start moving on.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

She wants more kids because she wants more child support from the next guy. You have 5 in all. She must care nothing for your or she'd want to spend more time with them. She doesn't sound like a mom at all. She doesn't want to more kids. That's a lie.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lswanson (May 24, 2016)

So maybe my impression of her is coming across wrong she is a great mom and goes out of her way for the kids. She is only staying home while our youngest one gets into school and she will be done with her teaching degree at the same time. she wants to be involved with all the kids she just doesn't wanna be with me anymore. she is not a bad person in any way honest loving caring. I'm not sure what has come between us but it has a lot to do with her wanting another baby (her cousins are all having them so she gets in that mood) and she has told me if we woulda had 1 more we woulda been fine I just don't know how you can leave your family for something that is only a wish. I really wish she would talk to someone but she wouldn't because she doesn't wanna be influenced from the decision she has made I know it is starting to hit her hard and I hope she gets cold feet but it wont be just a welcome back home on my part. she has broke a lot of my trust. she really is not acting like the person she is in her heart and her family agrees.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

You do to much for her and have become a doormat. Now she has no respect for you. Marriage has to be 50/50. 

She's leaving you for another man. You need a good dose of reality.

This is where you are. Trying to justify her actions will get you nowhere.

You want a chance do full exposure on the affair and quit being weak and timid.

Read up
http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrE..._Guy.pdf/RK=0/RS=YCSl5LHo0QDyKNSjhupeF74EOOo-


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I'm with marc878, there's someone else. That's why she's acting strange. You have her on this pedestal. She's not worthy of it. There's more to this that you're not telling or don't know.
That's a piss-poor excuse to divorce, wanting another baby. She's not childless by a longshot.

She has another fellow. Plain and simple. That's why she wants a divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

If she wanted out in March but had the affair in "April" she was already in the affair or started it when she told you she wants out.

How old is she and what did she do before your got married? During the three years of dating, did she have a job?

Do you have 50/50 custody of the 3 girls?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lswanson said:


> So my wife wants out of our marriage. I have been married once before with 3 girls. She had never been married but has a son and we have a daughter together. (5 kids total) We dated for 3yrs before being married the last 3yrs. She really pushed on me to get married then to have a child of our own. I didn't want anymore kids but she told me she couldn't marry me if we couldn't have a kid of our own. I love her so much I said ok we deserve that. After our daughter was born I got a vasectomy (that we agreed on) Since the day she was born she has slept in our bed (2yrs now) I am not one that believes in that (the bedroom is our space to get away) so over time I have just felt pushed out. We have had our little arguments as couples do and I work very hard to support our family and she is a stay at home mom. She says I don't appreciate anything she does and never listen to her opinions and feel her feelings. I have always been here for her but she is one of those that says (I want this and I want it now) so if I bach on it she gets mad. So in March she told me she was done and wants out. W agreed we would wait till the kids got out of school so it would not disrupt them. I have talked a pastor about the situation but she will not. She wont listen to family or friends. In april she did have an affair and then continued to talk to him. I caught one of her conversations and she claims it was just a joke and it was none of my business and tried to justify it. She does has a place to move and school is out in one day. I have shown her nothing but respect and love and she slams the door in my face everyday. She says she still loves me and cares (ya she cheated) She wont say when she is leaving and I cant be treated like this anymore (feeling used) I still pay the bills cook clean most the chores as I always have while she is on facebook 70% of the day and she knows she does not have to give back. I have really found out how strong my heart and mind are these last 3 months for they have been ripped out and stomped on many times. I want her gone so I can have some relief but I love her and want our family that we have worked so hard for together. What hurts me the worst is the main reason she is leaving is she wants more kids (I guess what I have given isn't enough)


Tell her to GTFO.

In the interim, change the wifi password and ditch her smartphone for a flip phone.

Oh, and DNA the kid.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lswanson said:


> So maybe my impression of her is coming across wrong she is a great mom and goes out of her way for the kids. She is only staying home while our youngest one gets into school and she will be done with her teaching degree at the same time. she wants to be involved with all the kids she just doesn't wanna be with me anymore. she is not a bad person in any way honest loving caring. I'm not sure what has come between us but it has a lot to do with her wanting another baby (her cousins are all having them so she gets in that mood) and she has told me if we woulda had 1 more we woulda been fine I just don't know how you can leave your family for something that is only a wish. I really wish she would talk to someone but she wouldn't because she doesn't wanna be influenced from the decision she has made I know it is starting to hit her hard and I hope she gets cold feet but it wont be just a welcome back home on my part. she has broke a lot of my trust. she really is not acting like the person she is in her heart and her family agrees.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Didn't she say "it's none of your business" when you asked her about her affair partner? Yeah, you won't, but you should kick her out if possible, not "wait until the kids are out of school." Good riddance.
Who wants an unfaithful, lazy, unloving wife???????
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

lswanson said:


> she is a stay at home mom.
> 
> So in March she told me she was done and wants out.
> 
> ...





Evinrude58 said:


> She has another fellow. Plain and simple.


Have to agree with ER58


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## lswanson (May 24, 2016)

She is 34 and has always had a full time job up until our daughter was born and we agreed that she would be a stay at home mom and she could babysit kids just for extra cash. She has also started online classes to finish her teaching degree and be done when our daughter starts school. Yes we have 50/50 joint with the 3 girls and if it wasnt for my wife I would have never had the chance of winning the fight for them. She is not a deadbeat like some are.


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## Anon1111 (May 29, 2013)

let her have what she wants

she wants the other guy, so let the other guy take care of her.

she's choosing to leave your home, so she doesn't get the benefits of your home (within the limits of the law). Consult with a lawyer to determine the extent to which you can cut her off.

I agree regarding DNAing the kid. Even if you consider the child yours regardless of the result, it would be helpful leverage in a negotiation.

consider that anything she gets from you at this point will be taking resources away from your children.

if you do not have the self esteem to play to win for yourself, do it for them.


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## niceguy28 (May 6, 2016)

Time for some tough love. You have to stop being a sap to this woman and let her go. Also make sure you get a dna test for the kids you have with her. She is not trustworthy and she wants out. That is all you need to know. Having 5 kids to deal with, especially when multiple parents are involved, would make any marriage difficult. Your wife is living in a fantasy world and when reality smacks her in the face and she realizes the mistakes she's made you don't need to be there to pick her up. Also, tbh, you said this is your second marriage. Why did your first marriage end?


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