# Confused: No sex in marriage.



## thegoodgirl (Apr 24, 2011)

Problem: We have sex less than once a month or every other month.
My husband, age 32, is a great guy: sweet/ affectionate/ and very easy on the eyes/ no medical issues/ 
I'm a size two, age 28, and fairly attractive. We're both professionals and love our jobs/ no kids/ married three years.

However, we just don't seem to have sex. I use to initiate sex but i find sex with him emotionally upsetting cuz he kinda just wants to get it "done". So i've stopped initiating and now we rarely have sex. 

I've tried to bring this up with him but he blows it off. He's very athletic with a strong sex drive but he's not having sex with me. I know he's not cheating. So i can't seem to figure out the disconnect? he make time for all his sports activities, his friends, his work and he spends good quality time with me. But once again not interested in initiating sex. Even on vacation, he's not interested in initiating sex. 

We have a great marriage/ good friendship/ love each other but is this possible with a non-existent sex life? Why does a athletic, good looking guy who's not cheating on his wife....not want to initiate sex?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

you have a low drive spouse, just like alot of people in here do. i understand your frustration. it is likely nothing you are doing wrong


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Did he ever have a moderately/highly sexual long term relationship with anyone? 

Do you truly know what his "primary" sexual preference is? 

Statistically this type situation is almost certain not to improve or change. You have a difficult decision to make. 




thegoodgirl said:


> Problem: We have sex less than once a month or every other month.
> My husband, age 32, is a great guy: sweet/ affectionate/ and very easy on the eyes/ no medical issues/
> I'm a size two, age 28, and fairly attractive. We're both professionals and love our jobs/ no kids/ married three years.
> 
> ...


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

I'm thinking he's gay. Unlikely to change long term.

Why do you say he's got a high sex drive?


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

Atholk said:


> I'm thinking he's gay. Unlikely to change long term.
> 
> Why do you say he's got a high sex drive?


that was my first thought too. how do you know he's got a high sex drive if he isn't having sex with you?

and how do you know he isn't having an affair (with someone of either sex)?


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Yeah I was thinking the same thing. This line: "He's very athletic with a strong sex drive but he's not having sex with me." is very troubling for me.

Does he really have a high sex drive? If so, then my first thought would be that he is cheating.


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## roymcavoy (Apr 15, 2011)

Any male with a strong sex drive HAS to be channeling it SOMEwhere. Something's "fishy" if he isn't interested in a young, attractive, size 2. C'MON!


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Atholk said:


> I'm thinking he's gay. Unlikely to change long term.
> 
> Why do you say he's got a high sex drive?


This is what I'm thinking too. It happens. Got an acquantance with 3 kids who just "came out" after a 20 year marriage. I'm still shocked.


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