# How is it????



## Clueless in wv (Apr 20, 2014)

I'm just devastated. How is it that a spouse can go from telling you how they love you and you're the love of their life, then a month later; have an online dating profile professing that they are single and within just weeks go out with a man before you ever move out of the house? Then within days of you moving out of house, post pictures of the guy on FB with flirting comments and also pictures of him in your house? How can a person go from one extreme to another so quickly? First she started putting me down, picking me apart, being condescending to me and just treating the man she professed her love too just four months previously in marriage. How can someone move on so quickly without grieving a loss? A little background. We married, bought a house within a week and then I got laid off so I was wallowing in self pity trying to pick myself up and find work, which I did do by the way. Then she opened a fake facebook and I suppose she was trying to get me to cheat. Instead, I replied that I was married and would never want anyone to think poorly of me. Then I talked to a family member about how poorly I was being treated by her and how I saw her 20 year old son acting and how I felt he had no discipline or ambition and was concerned for him. She finds out and would not even talk about the issues of what I had spoke to a family member about. She said it broke her heart and she wanted a divorce. She then ignored me and made it to the point at home that I was afraid she would do something crazy. I was in a state of emotional turmoil and already beaten down mental by her condescending treatment that I filed for a divorce that I didn't want and moved out just to gain some peace and be able to get myself back together.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

how long were you married? what are your ages? does her 20 y/o

son have a job or going to college? I am sorry you are here. The 

first thing you need to do is go NC and practice the 180. And....stop

looking at FB. If you're not mentally read to see your worst 

nightmare on it, you shouldn't be viewing. 

Are you in IC?

Have either filed for D? Any children? Here is a link you 

should read

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/24796-just-let-them-go.html


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## Clueless in wv (Apr 20, 2014)

We were married four months. She is 47 and I am 44.
Her 20 year old son doesn't have a job, came and went at all hours of the day and night, flunked out of college after one semester and the wife had made the statement in front of me and family that he drank and dabbled in drugs. He is not mine by marriage. She had three kids ages 15, 20, and 22 by her second marriage. I haven't spoken or been in contact with her for a month since I moved out. Our temporary/final divorce hearing is scheduled for this Monday May 19. I don't really know what IC is?


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

Individual counseling. If you rented home, I'm guessing both names

on lease (or did you buy). If you moved out, best you get ALL your

stuff. A 20 y/o with booze and drug issues, coupled with an enabling

mom (I went through exact same thing), he may have several pawn 

shops on speed dial. Do you want to work things out with her? 

Either way you need to work on you. Get into IC, find a therapist 

who will challenge you (not collect co-pays). We can help you

here. Have you read NMMNG and MMSL? Very good reads. 

Someone will come after me and give links to them. 

My X was the same age as yours when she "fell off her rocker"

and I'm just a couple years younger than you. She had child from

her 1st M. You may want to check my story. There are three.

The only difference was, we made it 15 years and I virtually raised

her son. I can clearly relate to your misfortune.

I made it through, am in much better place now.

You will make it too. If I did, so will you.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

Sounds like she wanted out for a while, made the fake Facebook account to try to lure you into looking like a cheater to justify leaving you, then just decided to leave anyway based on a flimsy excuse.

This book might suit your situation.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

WV-I read your earlier post. Get the he!! away from her. Leave skid

marks in the bushes. Can you get the M annulled? I'm not going to

ask my usual questions about the Ws childhood and past....I can 

already tell. Broken would be an understatement. Are you renting

or buying? Are the two of you still under the same roof?


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## Clueless in wv (Apr 20, 2014)

Chuck71- no we're not living under the same roof now. Emotionally I couldn't do it for fear that she might get a dvp or something against me. I'm a very gentle spirited person who normally won't even speak up for himself and I've always heard about wives getting domestic violence petitions against husbands who did nothing. I'm sure that there's been husbands who have done the same though. A month before I moved out she would only communicate through text, and it was always about wanting all the money from sell of house and just said sorry it didn't work out. Lol....sorry??? Yes we married and bought a house 5 months ago now and I moved out. Our divorce hearing is Monday and she has an attorney but I chose not to spend the money on one. I spoke to a close attorney friend who specializes in divorce and he informed me that he didn't want to take my money and that since there were no biological children involved and the marriage was so new and the only asset was the house that the law can't be construed and regardless of whom spent money on house that the courts would split the sell. As far as childhood goes for her. She came from a large family but I do not know what kind of relationship her parents had. Her mother passed away 5 years ago from cancer and shortly after that, my wife and her second husband divorced. I do know she told me that when they divorced, her family and her kids wouldn't speak to her for 2 years. She tiptoed around the topic but just said her last husband would go behind her back and let her oldest daughter date someone that she didn't approve of and it drove her crazy so she left. I'm now getting the idea from folks that after she left she moved in with another man and was with him for a year then they broke up and a couple months later we met.


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