# Forcing the 180



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Doing the 180 is so hard when u are use to talking to that person everyday! I sure hope this gets easier at some point.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Hard to do when ur husband comes to your house to see the kids!


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## NotEZ (Sep 23, 2012)

I agree with that. My husband sees the kids here too. He did actually take them to spend the weekend at his house this past weekend though. Much easier that way.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

That's what I'll be doing EZ. stbxw thinks she'll be over here all the time to see DD. 

Nope, DD needs to get used to HER new place so she can see that mommy hasn't just disappeared.


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## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

H comes over every Tuesday night and every Sunday and he gets every other weekend so my girls are with me most o the time !! It is so hard!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NotEZ (Sep 23, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> H comes over every Tuesday night and every Sunday and he gets every other weekend so my girls are with me most o the time !! It is so hard!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My h doesn't work (he is sick) so he was watching them during the day and was supposed to take them ever second weekend. I've been off since November though and he still here all the time. Finally had to tell him to stop coming.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NotEZ (Sep 23, 2012)

zillard said:


> That's what I'll be doing EZ. stbxw thinks she'll be over here all the time to see DD.
> 
> Nope, DD needs to get used to HER new place so she can see that mommy hasn't just disappeared.


My h always says it's so much easier for him to spend time here. Easy for who? Everyone but me? If this is how it's gonna be, the kids have to get used to having 2 houses. I want it to be as easy as possible for them too... I just don't see how being together as a family helps them deal with the splitting of the family
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> Hard to do when ur husband comes to your house to see the kids!


Even harder when she's still living in the basement.



Pb.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

NotEZ said:


> I just don't see how being together as a family helps them deal with the splitting of the family
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It doesn't. I also stressed that there will be no xmas gifts from "mom and dad". too confusing. It has to be a clear cut or it will just give kiddo false hope.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> Hard to do when ur husband comes to your house to see the kids!


hard to do when you work with the mf'er... 

we don't talk...but it's still hard...


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Pbartender said:


> Even harder when she's still living in the basement.


I feel you PB. Can't wait for stbxw to get out of here. At least she doesn't get home from work until 1:30am, stays up all night and sleeps all day - so that helps.

Sucks though when she wakes me up over and over to talk now that she sees me changing due to the 180.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

zillard said:


> That's what I'll be doing EZ. stbxw thinks she'll be over here all the time to see DD.
> 
> Nope, DD needs to get used to HER new place so she can see that mommy hasn't just disappeared.


DD?

I know D stands for daughter...right? DD is it two daughters then? 

damn abreviations...I wish someone would put a damn chart out...


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Stella Moon said:


> DD?
> 
> I know D stands for daughter...right? DD is it two daughters then?
> 
> damn abreviations...I wish someone would put a damn chart out...


Dear daughter. sorry. D6.


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## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

zillard said:


> Dear daughter. sorry. D6.


lol....gotcha...

thanks! I'm still learnin'...


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## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I bought all the presents under my tree and I put both mom and dad. He has a tree at his apartment but nothing under it. It would hurt my girls if they did not see mom and dad on the presents. Did I want to no but there happiness is more important at this point.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I am ready for this Christmas to be over with already. I have not even Asked how we are going to handle Christmas? Just going to do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StephenG (Nov 22, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> Doing the 180 is so hard when u are use to talking to that person everyday! I sure hope this gets easier at some point.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I know the feeling, life has became a routine for so long with that one person and it's just such a drastic change all of the sudden in one day. 
At first I questioned the 180 but it covers itself. Says not to beg and plead and I begged and pleaded and where did that get me? NOWHERE.
I did many of the DO NOT's on the 180 before I ever found out about it and all the ones I did do it lead me straight to a dead end and even made my heartbreak even worse.

Just don't look at the 180 as a way of fixing things and a way that it will bring your spouse back, it is to help you begin as if you're moving on.

I hope it gets better for you and good luck!


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

yeah it is bloody hard and confusing. especially if you still just naturally get along to as if your not even split up like we do .
but we are split and truth is she broke my heart like l've never had after 18yrs , l should be hating her and some days l do .

but l unknowingly , well carelessly , broke hers to and that's mostly why she wanted to separate .
so where's all that leave my 180 - no f'g clue.

my canceller said to me last night - so why are you so worried about a damn 180 anyway , where are you getting all that crap from. there's a lot more to these things than just a 180, that doesn't suit everything. 
then she said who cares anyway look you can do a damn 20 a 90 or a 1000 if you want it doesn't mean it's gonna do a thing.
now i'm really confused !


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Pbartender said:


> Even harder when she's still living in the basement.
> 
> Pb.



thats a good one , sorry !

but na we have a 1ac place and originally we thought we might even just build a second house or something right here and go that way. l even asked for thoughts here.

i can see now though it'd be the stupidest way to live. thank god we didn't start the house or something.


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

got to get the boundaries up ladies. 

A good advisor in here gave me my favourite line 
when something my posXH did that I was uncomfortable with....

"I'm not ok with......."


try it. It's empowering....expect a little huff n puff from their ears though.


The kids will adjust under a routine EVERYONE is happy with..


love and peace to you and yours this Christmas xx


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> I am ready for this Christmas to be over with already. I have not even Asked how we are going to handle Christmas? Just going to do it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



same , dreading the thought of it.


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