# Please Read Need Advice On A Up & Down Marriage!!!!



## queenb (Nov 21, 2009)

So me and my husband have been together since we were sixteen and our relationship has aways been like a roller coaster . we want to be with eachother ! we love eachother alot, but my husband does alot of stupid things and his excuse is he wasn't thinking or he was just being stupid. This excuse gets old real fast!!!!!!!!!So we just had are 3rd child on the 7th of nov. and thought everything was going to be better, he was finally going to get his first son(we have two girls already)but in the delivery room he walked out on me 3 hours before our son came into the world. For the following reason: his parents live out of state and he called them to tell them were in the hospital, his parents wanted to come up the next day! let me tell you though our son came two weeks early, not expected or ready and my house was trashed so i told him" no way !!the house is trashed & i don't want there first time coming to our house and see it that way" of course his response was there not coming here to see are house. that was not what mattered to me and of course this is all going on during my contractions so he called back his parents and told them nows not a good time and his dad being a drunk started to get upset and told him okay so he gets of the phone stands up and said i cant believe you just made me do that,& walks out.  so i said im not going to call him let him miss the birth of his son!! then i changed my mind and called him told him i couldnt believe he walked out on me , the nurse started to setup up for delivery and my contractions got stronger and the nurse said is your husband coming back its time?so he hears her and said hes on the way. one hour later our son was here ,he could of missed it. the day i was released from the hospital things were going great :smthumbup: the next day things seemed like nothing could go wrong i was all smiles, we were acting like we were at 16 happy and in love. The second night home my husband ,at work (usually till 9pm) calls me and says that his boss needs help moving some stuff so he was going to be late(1030pm) & if that was alright with me? i really wanted him home but told him go ahead try to get done fast, he said ok. 11pm comes and he strolls in and i asked him what happened to 1030? he said it took longer then he thought. so he gets closer and you can just smell pot pouring off of him and his eyes are red and i said you have been smoking pot !! and he says no i havent i said you either tell the truth or im leaving and then he admitts it and tells me hes been doing it since 915. you would think he would happy about having his son, and just want to get home right away, but he said he was just being stupid !!!hes 23years old come on.since that day our relationship went back to the way it was before he was born the arguments , not kissing or hugging or just making this time a happy time . I'm very botered by this my maternity leave is suppose to be a happy time but i could just cry about what happened over and over. please give me advice on what to do im young and i dont want give up on this relationship.


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## YoungMilitarySpouse (Apr 9, 2009)

Hi queenb- well..from reading your story I cant say things sound too good. Im seeing a lack of two MAJORLY important things - respect and trust. Without both your relationship will not last. You cant just let this go or wait it out or hope it gets better. Something needs to be done. I suggest counseling. If he doesnt want to go, give him an ultimatum. You two need to work on your relationship and create a happy home for yourselves and your children

Good luck- hope I helped!


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