# Wish I could do more....



## marriageinprogress (Jul 7, 2011)

My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We didn't have sex until we were married. Throughout our marriage we have averaged having sex 2x a week, which wasn't enough for me. I would be denied if I initiated it. My husband said the sex was so good for him that he only needed it twice a week :scratchhead:

We now have sex 3-4x a week which is better for me and I usually have an orgasm every time. My husband is very unselfish and wants to please me. The problem is I can't do anything to please him so I don't feel very involved and get do the things I would like to do. It's hard to spice things up when my husband is overly sensitive.

Should I just be thankful for what I do get and stop focusing on what I don't?


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## MissLayla1986 (Aug 27, 2010)

marriageinprogress said:


> My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We didn't have sex until we were married. Throughout our marriage we have averaged having sex 2x a week, which wasn't enough for me. I would be denied if I initiated it. My husband said the sex was so good for him that he only needed it twice a week :scratchhead:
> 
> We now have sex 3-4x a week which is better for me and I usually have an orgasm every time. My husband is very unselfish and wants to please me. The problem is I can't do anything to please him so I don't feel very involved and get do the things I would like to do. It's hard to spice things up when my husband is overly sensitive.
> 
> Should I just be thankful for what I do get and stop focusing on what I don't?


Your husband has already told you that the sex is great. Do you have some reason to believe that he no longer feels that way?


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## marriageinprogress (Jul 7, 2011)

Sorry if I confused you... 

I want more! I feel like all I am allowed to do is lay there for the most part.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

marriageinprogress said:


> My husband is very unselfish and wants to please me. The problem is I can't do anything to please him so I don't feel very involved and get do the things I would like to do.


These two statements are somewhat contradictory, yes? If he is unselfish and truly wants to please you, then he would understand that letting you please him is what pleases you and since he's unselfish he would let you do that. Therefore, he appears selfish to me, not unselfish.

Do you think that he is overly shy or reserved?

Do you think that he feels inadequate?

Do you compliment him and show him that you appreciate him inside and outside of the bedroom?

Do you ever try and seduce him?

Are the spicy things you want to do way outside of his comfort zone, or are there things you can compromise on?

Are there things in his background (religious taboos, hang-ups, or abuse) that make it hard for him to be more open sexually? If so, perhaps he needs some professional help to work through them.

One of the cornerstones of marriage is communication, and communicating about sexual issues is a part of that. That communication, however, can take a form in more than just words - glances, touches, smiles, winks, caresses, sighs.

Best wishes.


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## marriageinprogress (Jul 7, 2011)

I think the problem is that he gets over stimulated if I want to take any type of control and he ejaculates. 

Our love life isn't bad by any means, he always pleasures me but I just wish I could please him in many different ways. I get a little bored...

I don't want him to feel bad or any less of a man so its hard to tell him that I wish I could do more. I think he is doing the best he can.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

marriageinprogress said:


> I think the problem is that he gets over stimulated if I want to take any type of control and he ejaculates.
> 
> Our love life isn't bad by any means, he always pleasures me but I just wish I could please him in many different ways. I get a little bored...
> 
> I don't want him to feel bad or any less of a man so its hard to tell him that I wish I could do more. I think he is doing the best he can.


So, are you saying you think that he suffers from premature ejaculation (PE)? If so, have you looked in to any of the ways that you might be able to help him overcome that?

How to Deal with Premature Ejaculation - For Dummies


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## marriageinprogress (Jul 7, 2011)

I have nicely suggested maybe he see a doctor but he says he is so much better now. **Sigh** Thanks for the link I will read about it.


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