# Should I be seeing this as a problem



## Macymac (Dec 29, 2013)

Hello, I am concerned as to how this should be handled. I currently do not work. I have owned two businesses within the past and did very well. The last two years I have not been working due to my husband doing very well in his job. We together have been so good about our finances. The problem is that, well, maybe not so much of a problem, but not sure. He did have his check direct deposited into our account. Within the last month that stopped. He did not inform me until his payday. Ok, was upset but that was his choice so I let it go. Now I told him that I would need to get his check and pay for our insurance, he said no. He will not let me have the check and said only he will cash it then give me money. This hurts. It hurts because I do not spend money without his consent and even hand over receipts for groceries that I buy. If I wash the car I get a receipt for it so he knows where every dime is placed. I must admit he has been a controlling husband in other aspects but I thought he was doing better. He also has started to wean me out of even buying certain household items. Simple stuff like dishwasher detergent and bathroom soap. I just keep overlooking this because he makes it all so legitimate. Just would like some advice as to what someone else thinks and also if I just need to not think so much into this. :scratchhead:


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Macymac said:


> Hello, I am concerned as to how this should be handled. I currently do not work. I have owned two businesses within the past and did very well. The last two years I have not been working due to my husband doing very well in his job. We together have been so good about our finances. The problem is that, well, maybe not so much of a problem, but not sure. He did have his check direct deposited into our account. Within the last month that stopped. He did not inform me until his payday. Ok, was upset but that was his choice so I let it go. Now I told him that I would need to get his check and pay for our insurance, he said no. He will not let me have the check and said only he will cash it then give me money. This hurts. It hurts because I do not spend money without his consent and even hand over receipts for groceries that I buy. If I wash the car I get a receipt for it so he knows where every dime is placed. I must admit he has been a controlling husband in other aspects but I thought he was doing better. He also has started to wean me out of even buying certain household items. Simple stuff like dishwasher detergent and bathroom soap. I just keep overlooking this because he makes it all so legitimate. Just would like some advice as to what someone else thinks and also if I just need to not think so much into this. :scratchhead:


Can you ask him what his reasons are for changing how you've been doing things? Seems strange for him to change things without one word of explanation. I hate to say this but could he be preparing to walk out on you? If you can't get anything out of him about this, I would consider going back to work and keeping your earnings separate too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sun Catcher (Dec 6, 2013)

Sounds to me like he may have lost his job, hence no paycheck deposit and his "weaning you off buying certain items". 

May I suggest you sit him down in a comfortable environment where you will have no interruptions and calmly ask what is going on. Something is going on and the sooner he shares what it is with you the better.

Good luck.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Read this book, then come back and tell us what you think:
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men: Lundy Bancroft: 9780425191651: Amazon.com: Books


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