# any ever gotten into a physical altercation with spouses new love?



## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

Just wondering but has anyone here gotten into a physical fight or something with the guy/gal your spouse cheated on you with?

I for one have never been in a fight in my life because i'm not an angry person, but the anger i feel right now because of this betrayal could bring me to it. I would never kill anyone because i don't think its worth it to kill someone over the ending of a marriage. But it might feel pretty good to just let out the aggression and anger i have on this douche.

Also, i am surely talking out my azz because with me having no fight experience, i'm sure i'd get pounded by this thug.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

9 times out of 10 the OM/OW will make every attempt to avoid you.
Especially if they have a wife/husband themselves!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I guess it's a good thing that I have never physically met OM because I am uncertain as to what my reaction would be


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I guess it's a good thing that I have never physically met OM because I am uncertain as to what my reaction would be


Lol, you have to catch the ****** first though!
Honestly, they'll scurry away and hide under bushes, cars and bins to avoid you.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

Well my wife's OM is either divorced, getting divorced or single. He supposed just got out of a relationship with his son's mom, not sure what that would make him


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

Ultimate, most powerful thing to do.
Not acknowledge their presence other than look directly into their eyes til they look away and then you turn and leave the area without a touch or statement of any kind.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> Lol, you have to catch the ****** first though!
> Honestly, they'll scurry away and hide under bushes, cars and bins to avoid you.


I thought they crawled under a rock.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Rock are heavy Mori, and AP's don't do any heavy lifting


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

I had a guy try to pick up my wife 'then girlfriend'. I let me wife handle it, but I wish I would have stepped in. I think she would have liked me to do that.

I think confronting him, would be attractive to your wife. Show her you are man enough to stand up to him and fight for her. Not saying to fight, but to get in his face make sure he knows (and she knows) that you aren't scared of him. Even if you took a punch, I think she would admire your bravery.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

When I was a teen I arranged to have my friend's abusive molesting dad beaten with a bat. Broke both legs, an arm, jaw, eye socket. God damn he never touched anyone again.


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> 9 times out of 10 the OM/OW will make every attempt to avoid you.
> Especially if they have a wife/husband themselves!


That has not been the case with us. This little b***h has been intruding into our marriage on a regular basis from the day he told her to leave him alone( nearly two years ago). There has been a lull in her cameos since May of this year. I hope that means she is done. I have had her in my face more often than is humanly tolerable, and it is a testament to my self control that I have not gotten physical with her. She is not worth the trouble that pushing her face in would cause.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

tigercat said:


> Just wondering but has anyone here gotten into a physical fight or something with the guy/gal your spouse cheated on you with?
> 
> I for one have never been in a fight in my life because i'm not an angry person, but the anger i feel right now because of this betrayal could bring me to it. *I would never kill anyone because i don't think its worth it to kill someone over the ending of a marriage.* But it might feel pretty good to just let out the aggression and anger i have on this douche.
> 
> Also, i am surely talking out my azz because with me having no fight experience, i'm sure i'd get pounded by this thug.


I think how far one is willing to go depends on your values. It can also depend on whether or not the person is an actual predator. You know someone who went into it for the sport of taking someone's wife.

The OM should very much fear you. However you pull that off. No doubt it varies from jerk to jerk.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

The OM lives about 2 hrs away. Work took me within 20 mi from him today. Though really hard about paying a visit. Came to the conclusion that the POS wasn't worth my job.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

SadSamIAm said:


> I had a guy try to pick up my wife 'then girlfriend'. I let me wife handle it, but I wish I would have stepped in. I think she would have liked me to do that.
> 
> I think confronting him, would be attractive to your wife. Show her you are man enough to stand up to him and fight for her. Not saying to fight, but to get in his face make sure he knows (and she knows) that you aren't scared of him. Even if you took a punch, I think she would admire your bravery.


Ok so what if you did stand up for her and this guy just beat the crap out of you lol. Would your wife still think that was attractive? I mean you showed no fear but you were not the dominant male in that situation (in a nature sort of way).


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Don't even go there. You say you have never been an angry person in your life, but facing OM who sleeps with your W you never know what primal anger may overcome you. It does not matter which one wins, the outcome won't be pretty and likely someone if not both will end up in jail.

For you, you have two kids to think about. What good would it do for them if their dad sits in jail? Remember, as devious as OM is, it is your W who chose to go to him.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

and you know thats part of what scares me about myself. Yea, i've never been in a fight in my life because i'm an easy going person , not an angry person, butttttttttt.....I'm scared that if someone ever got me mad enough, just say he got in my face or hit me ....i don't think i would be about to stop myself from really hurting him once i got on him. Its a Scary thought what kind of monster he might unleash. I just hope i never get put in that situation.


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## onthefence16 (Aug 21, 2011)

I look at the OW's picture on FB every day just about...so when I do get back to my very very small town I will not want to rip her head off.....every day it gets a little easier...also I have read in some states you can bring a civil law suit for alienation of affection against the OM/OW....good luck...and remember your freedom is worth more than going to jail for some a***hole....


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## elph (Apr 2, 2011)

everybody's right in saying that usually the OM is a coward...

however, i did get a chance to physically confront the MuthaF'er.

i went to my wifes new apt. to drop something off and he was there on his lunch break eating his lunch on the floor (no furniture yet)

i saw his car parked and even though i told my self to drive away, i went up there anyway.
she opened the door and i asked wtf he was doing there. i kicked his food away from him and told him to leave. he just kept repeating that its her place and she didnt have to leave. she told me to leave but i didnt. he started texting something so i kicked the ohone from his hand and then got in his face. im only 5'7 and hes 6'2 and he had this stupid smirk on his face and sll he could do was repeat the same thing. 

admittedly i got a little Ghetto" calling him a little ***** and a coward. i ended hp backing him up a bit because he was trying to play the nice guy. my wife seperated us, but i eventually got in his face again. but this time the smirk disappeared and i saw fear in his eyes. i eventually backed him into a corner. cursing and such. 

my wife eventually told him to leave, but on his way our he told me not to touch her (like i was going to hit her or something) 

10 minutes later the the police (who he called)shows up.
i went down to meet them and accept responsibility. i knew them from my days at starbucks. 
eventually they take a report. i told the officer talking to me what was going on, and then the one who talked to him came to me and got my side. (mind you i didnt lay a finger on the guy, just got in his face) i told the second cop what was going on. he wasnt amused by the fact that the OM tried to paint himself as the victim (ie failed to say about the affair) 

both cops told me that if they didnt have the badge on they would have let me at him...

i was told that he was going to file a restraining order and if he did to counter file and take it to his job (the cops told me that)

found out he couldnt file because my wife wouldnt sign off as a witness...

currently their affiair is on the verge of ending (3 breakups in 1 1/2 months)



did anything come from my confrontation? yes.

i felt like i was able to get out most of what i wanted to on this guy. i also showed that i was willing to stand up and fight for my family, while he couldnt handle the consequences of his actions and called the cops like the coward he is. that moment empowered me and does till this day, because it mademe feel in control of the situation, it made me feel powerful because i confronted someone who was physically superiour, and i didnt back down...


interesting side effect.
my wife a few days later said she knew id been working out, but it reallyshowed then when i "puffed up" during the confrontation. she told her friend the same thing, but she elaborated more, but her friend (who told me) sid the way she was talking and her mannerisms said alot more of how it affected her...like on a primal level...

mind you were not together right now, but it did affect things...and she saw him for the coward he is...hahaha


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

sadcalifornian said:


> Don't even go there. You say you have never been an angry person in your life, but facing OM who sleeps with your W you never know what primal anger may overcome you. It does not matter which one wins, the outcome won't be pretty and likely someone if not *both will end up in jail.*
> 
> For you, you have two kids to think about. What good would it do for them if their dad sits in jail? Remember, as devious as OM is, it is your W who chose to go to him.


Yes, you must be ok with the consequences which are that you may end up in jail and / or the hospital.

Both the WW and OM are responsble in my opinion. I hold myself and others accountable. My choice. The OM does not get a free pass. He is a poacher. Poachers should be dealt with so they cannot or will not poach again. I feel this way and I was the one in the EA. Not my wife.


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## JustWaiting (Jun 28, 2011)

Yes. In my own house. Walked in on them while they were busy. I did not take any aggressive action. I did, however, spend several days in the hospital. After a separation, my wife and I are together again for two years. I still have some residual injuries. Missed most of the next six months of work.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 04190513 (Jun 27, 2011)

I saw the OM for the first time on Monday. I drove by the gas station and he was there filling up his truck. I didn't feel angry, just got very sad and started thinking about what had happened. Another day written off I guess...


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

JustWaiting said:


> Yes. In my own house. Walked in on them while they were busy. I did not take any aggressive action. I did, however, spend several days in the hospital. After a separation, my wife and I are together again for two years. I still have some residual injuries. Missed most of the next six months of work.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


so OM beat you up without you provoking?!!


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Wow. I hope OM did time in prison for what is at least felony assault.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

JustWaiting said:


> Yes. In my own house. Walked in on them while they were busy. I did not take any aggressive action. I did, however, spend several days in the hospital. After a separation, my wife and I are together again for two years. I still have some residual injuries. Missed most of the next six months of work.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



I hope you both pressed charges, but also sued the POS for damages. It's hard to believe you would accept a your wife back after she was responsible fir you being badly asulted in your home.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

JustWaiting said:


> Yes. In my own house. Walked in on them while they were busy. I did not take any aggressive action. I did, however, spend several days in the hospital. After a separation, my wife and I are together again for two years. I still have some residual injuries. Missed most of the next six months of work.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know this is t/j, but can you divulge some of your story? This is so wrong.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

JustWaiting said:


> After a separation, my wife and I are together again for two years.


Wow. I would be Hannibal Lechter.


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

In my case, not a fight, but words were had.

My situation is typical and so much less worse than 90% of the people here, tho'... so it's not really even worth recounting at the moment... but it wasn't something where I could go rough somebody up- even if I wanted to (and I did, but knew better).

It's stupid, but had I physically caught her cheating (in the act), I don't know what I would've done. Probably something stupid.


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

tigercat said:


> I would never kill anyone because i don't think its worth it to kill someone over the ending of a marriage. But it might feel pretty good to just let out the aggression and anger i have on this douche.


Do not do this. 

Since you are picking the fight, you will have to not hurt him too badly. He on the other hand will not have that limit placed on him since he is defending himself from an attack. As you hold back he will not be holding back. He will be able to hurt you as badly as he wants short of killing or crippling you. You cannot win such a fight.

When he wins, your wife will look to him as the Alpha dog.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

TRy, that does make sense. If hes defending himself so he can use more extreme measures than me. Like i said i'm just dreaming, lol, I have no fight experience and i'm sure this thug would destroy me. Id just like to imagine in my head a thousand times, me stomping this dude....makes me feel a little better.


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

tigercat said:


> TRy, that does make sense. If hes defending himself so he can use more extreme measures than me. Like i said i'm just dreaming, lol, I have no fight experience and i'm sure this thug would destroy me. Id just like to imagine in my head a thousand times, me stomping this dude....makes me feel a little better.


Well, Tiger, a fight is often won by the one willing to go farther than the other. Oftentimes it is not about which one is stronger. I know you are just dreaming about whatifs, but since OM lives on the same street as yours, such altercation is very possible. How would you feel passing by his house knowing your W is over there with him, doing God knows what? How would you feel seeing your W leaving his house early in the morning sharing passionate good bye kiss at his front door. Or, for whatever reason, he decides to have sex in your house during your absence just for the perverted fun of it, and you happen to walk in on them. 

Because of your proximity, this is not a subject to be dealt with lightly. Remember, you must not engage with him no matter what! He can bang your W all he likes, but you should not care as she is not your W anymore. Let him have her. She does not deserve you. 

Going back to the topic of who wins, it's hard to speculate which one will go farther in such fight. But, I must say, it would be BH who is more likely to go berserk and go homocidal attack mode. At any rate, I repeat, do not even go there. Keep yourself away from these sick, insane people including your W, and take care of yourself and your kids.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

tigercat said:


> and you know thats part of what scares me about myself. Yea, i've never been in a fight in my life because i'm an easy going person , not an angry person, butttttttttt.....I'm scared that if someone ever got me mad enough, just say he got in my face or hit me ....i don't think i would be about to stop myself from really hurting him once i got on him. Its a Scary thought what kind of monster he might unleash. I just hope i never get put in that situation.


Here is the deal. Not saying anyone should get into a physical fight. BUT, if you in any way are not all in you will get hurt very badly. So your wife is not only srewing this other guy but is laughing at you in the hospital and may sue you for coming after him. Life is like that. If you fear unleashing the kracken within you do not get into the fight.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Ever grab a hammer and chase someone down the street after they tried to break into your home and you knew they were probably armed? THAT'S anger. If you can live with stoving in his face with your fist or a bat or slamming his head on his car door a dozen times until they have to call a dentist to ID him, go for it. It's serious jail time. I would not recommend opening the door to that level of anger. People stab, shoot, beat the life out of, run over each other over cheating and screwing around. It happens EVERY day. 

When I was a youth we had to deal with wild animals destroying livestock and attacking ranch hands and their families on occasion. You raise your gun and you blow it away. Because you can't threaten a wild animal. You can't count to 'three'. You can't warn them. They will trample you or tear you up or drag you into the river and drown and eat you. That's how people in this situation act.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

TRy said:


> Do not do this.
> 
> Since you are picking the fight, you will have to not hurt him too badly. He on the other hand will not have that limit placed on him since he is defending himself from an attack. As you hold back he will not be holding back. He will be able to hurt you as badly as he wants short of killing or crippling you. You cannot win such a fight.
> 
> When he wins, your wife will look to him as the Alpha dog.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

Well, regardless of who wins, the bottom line is *she is not worth it ! * If you are to risk your life defending, that should be a faithful and loving W. *Your W ain't it ! *


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## why not me (Oct 15, 2011)

I thought this is the best topic for my first post. I am 5 months past D-Day and about 3 months in I decided it was time to take my anger out on the OM who happened to be my Ex-best friend. As I set out that morning to find him and prepared for it, it is crazy the sick thoughts I had in my head of what I was going to do to him. The Russian Mafia couldnt have come up with worse stuff than I started planning, and the longer I let it rage in my mind the worse it got. God was protecting me(and him) that day, but I can only imagine what the results would have been that day if i had found him. I have decided it is best to just forget he exists, and not dwell on that anger. although your male bravado and ego will say otherwise, no good can come from confronting him.


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