# Can't Hack The Games or what is going on? HELP



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

divorce date in 5 days.
stbxh is becoming mean(deliberately saying hurtful things on his cell loud enough so I can hear) that was yesterday

and today when I get home, he announces he is making tacos for dinner but early because I usually go to meeting & leave at 5 so he started cooking at 2)? And when I leave the house, he is washing the cycle that he just washed 2 days ago and I have to back up near him.
I skim the pool (I am so confused and upset by this strange behavior) and start my laps and he gets in the pool and I have to swim around him. And he is wearing cologne (I can smell it). 

Am I going insane?

What the heck is going on?


----------



## Forsaken (Feb 14, 2011)

He's just playing games, he's being vindictive...


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

I'd have to agree with Forsaken.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

Very often, people don't like it when you divorce them. They will often act accordingly.


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

No he made the tacos for "us". I told him I couldn't eat them as he put a spice in them that I react poorly too.

One moment nice, next moment ignoring, constantly changing moods and reacting weirdly. He is really getting strange. 

So you all think it is vindictive? Wow, why bother?

I am stuck in the same house until it sells.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

It sounds like he's heading for the deep end.
I don't mean the pool.
Maybe you are stuck in the house til it sells, but you could get a restraining order if he's following you around. If you were roommates it would be disturbing, wouldn't it, to have a roommate you were housesharing with treat you this way? Treat it as you would a roommate situation and act accordingly.

Why are you stuck?
It doesn't sound like stuck is a pleasant place.
I would try to challenge the constraings of thinking that you are stuck. You can leave, just that someone put some kind of pseudo-rational thought into your head that you can't.


----------



## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

It could be vindictiveness if he took your refusal to eat what he cooked as a personal rejection of him, or his efforts.

It could also be that as the divorce date gets closer and more real, he is feeling some anger.


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

he was avoiding my company like the plague. If he knew I was in kitchen or shared space he wouldn't be there.

I can't leave marital home, no job, no income and I own half of the house so until it sells I have no resources to live elsewhere. Both of us are stuck.


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

this morning I do my usual coffee on lanai and there he is. He has not been out there for months leaving me alone. Not today and he keeps talking and talking about nothing
.
I am leaving this morning early and won't be back til later this afternoon. I have to make house presentable for prospects that are coming a third time to view to purchase.

I have my fingers crossed that everything falls in line.

This confusion just makes it harder on my emotions. I was doing so well. But I don't react and that is the important thing. If he has something to say, he is going to have to do without no help from me. I had offered a number times MC, reconciliation but no taker....so it's his problem now.

Divorce in 4 days.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Can you get a roommate?
Or maybe two?
See, this is where going to the gym would pay off for me.
Knowing body builders who need a cheap place to rent in return for a little protection and intimidation (and housework).

All joking aside, it might be advisable to get some other people into that house with you. Lock your door at night, lock the door when you shower.


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

homemaker: I can't see him getting violent. He is pretending he is perfectly happy and tapping his feet to get rid of me. Whistling and humming.

I get home from therapy this am and he is not here and I breathe a sigh of relief. He gets back into his room and is on cell long time.

I am out on the lanai taking a break from housecleaning and here he comes again, yaking about medicare and its options. I say I am going for a swim once it stops thundering and of course he says so will he.

I really don't understand why he feels it necessary after all the months of avoidance to suddenly push himself into my company.

You know I can't even share at my meetings since this started 3 days ago. I am always going to cry and I don't want anyone to look at me. What the heck is going on with me? I was so ok before this invasion or whatever you call it. 

I am now in my room waiting until he finishes whatever gets in the pool so I can be alone and do laps.

Does any of this make any sense?


----------



## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

yes it makes sense

it sounds to me like your upset cause u dont understand y he would try to be near u after all of it was over and he was ignoring you for some time.

possibly one or both of you remember what it was like before and are in maybe the tiniest part of your mind wondering if it could work again.

this is something you may have to sit down and discuss this with him. tell him its bothering you why all the sudden hes doing this and that it is emotionaly putting you on a roller coaster.


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

I don't want to be the one to talk. I have always been the one and during this 5 month period I had asked several times for MC and reconciliation because I told him I still loved him. He essentially was not interested.

If he is becoming a nuisance because he is getting scared/angry he is the one that needs to talk or initiate the talk. I am done talking.

Anyway, he won't he has an ego the size of Manhattan.


----------



## Dandri (Jul 14, 2011)

sounds like my soon to be ex-husband and your right but if it bothering you tell him to leave you alone. tell him if you are going to the pool he needs to wait to use it and so on and so forth with other things...


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Well the people were here to see the house and I discover it was their relatives that loved the house, they hate it. So now I am stuck again with stbxh. And he is gleeful about it. So happy.

He knocked on my door just now to offer a roast beef sub and I am like (in my mind) have you gone crazy. You avoid me for weeks and weeks and then you start making hurtful comments, invade my space and now acting considerate.

I need this house sold. I am going crazy in this situation. And I can't go anywhere since I have no money, no job, no unemployment. I have to hit up my tiny IRA now.

Enough God, I have had enough and if I can get some breathing space I am sure I will figure out the lesson I am to learn from this. But I NEED A BREATHER, PLEASE!


----------



## 8yearscheating (Oct 14, 2010)

WHO had the affair?


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

8yearscheating said:


> WHO had the affair?


Her H had the affair.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

8 years: my stbxh had an Ea that seems to have fizzled. Hot heavy texting and cell seems to have pretty much ended when he went down on "vacation" when OW lives. Well, what do you expect from a 65 year old, 45 year married grandma? They rekindled friendship from fb.

Finally answered my call and I offered MC etc....but all he said was he is confused and doesn't know what he is doing. When he came back he denied the entire conversation (this was first runaway vacay back in March.) He continued same pattern.

Well what could I do when I am told he hasn't liked/loved me in 18 mos. I filed after that conversation of unwillingness. I did ask why in those 18 mos did he buy diamond jewelry, custom chairs and built a green house? He said he doesn't know why.

My divorce is in 2 days. 

All I know is I was really given no choice.


----------



## bunny23 (May 19, 2011)

When I was getting divorced my ex would text me: you C*nt, you B*%ch... you this and that, then he would ask me if I want to have dinner.. or send me flowers.

Anger, confusion?


----------

