# Should I tell separated husband "how many" I had!



## allowingthecakeeating (Mar 13, 2013)

My husband of over 20 years left last summer. Up until recently he has not made a decision if he was coming home. Now, unfortunately He says we are done. 

I have long suspected an ex boss as an EA!! Well of course in the last few weeks I not only got confirmation of EA it is now full blown PA (although he wont confirm it.) I am quite devastated and very emotional. We had a very intense/emotional week and it is very apparent he is involved with her. (He will only say "we are getting closer and spending more time together"). They are together for SURE!

Last weekend we had a tense discussion and at one point, I mentioned that I have been lonely and have learned how to "take care of myself" which is not something we spoke about too often. He seemed to be intrigued, but tried not to show it. I also mentioned that I was asked out on a date (I have never told him that) and he very quickly asked me "who". Not normal question for him. 

Here is the question: 
The last time I took care of myself I hit 8. Pretty good. 
It was always a joke between him and I how many I had with HIM (usually 3-4). After one of our boring texts about the kids today I wanted to send him the number 8 and just say. "If you think about it.. I am sure you can figure it out." No need to respond. 

Is this tacky...offensive, desperate... thoughts? Could this backfire and he be annoyed at me for mentioning it? But I want to sort of play with him. Switch the tables in a way... 

OK, let me have it! Thanks


----------



## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Personally I think it's too intimate for someone you're no longer effectively married to. There is no purpose in giving him that information. 

I know from experience it takes a while to detach from your spouse when you separate. In the beginning you tend to carry on some aspects of your relationship as they existed before the split. Over time this level of intimacy diminishes, particularly when outside parties become involved. 

Take the high road on this one and if you really need to share do so with a girlfriend or your next boyfriend.


----------



## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

It sounds a little desperate.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Yeah it's desperate don't do it. Find your dignity and stop talking to someone who left you.


----------



## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

allowingthecakeeating said:


> My husband of over 20 years left last summer. Up until recently he has not made a decision if he was coming home. Now, unfortunately He says we are done.
> 
> I have long suspected an ex boss as an EA!! Well of course in the last few weeks I not only got confirmation of EA it is now full blown PA (although he wont confirm it.) I am quite devastated and very emotional. We had a very intense/emotional week and it is very apparent he is involved with her. (He will only say "we are getting closer and spending more time together"). They are together for SURE!
> 
> ...


No need to do it. Makes you come off as petty and immature.


----------



## allowingthecakeeating (Mar 13, 2013)

Got it thanks everyone! I will move on!


----------



## CleanJerkSnatch (Jul 18, 2012)

I can have 8 and even more MMO (both DO and partial DO) in one sitting as well.


----------



## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

So basically you would be telling him that toys are better than him? While funny I wouldn't do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Nah ... let it go. 

... but I'm impressed, lol.


----------



## allowingthecakeeating (Mar 13, 2013)

Yep, not a good idea. I can really hold my head high over the last 9 months, no need to blow it now! Thanks


----------



## Vanguard (Jul 27, 2011)

You reek of desperation. Don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you care about him this much.


----------

