# In Defense of my Flirting Wife



## MWC WesleyandKelly

First of all, I like to state I love my wife and her and I are happily married.

My wife, (Kelly), and I meet in college and I was drawn to her outgoing vibrant flirting personality and her fantastic body, blonde hair, and cute face.

My male friends kept forewarning me, Kelly is not the type girl I should date and heaven forbid marry due to her being too much of a flirt, having dated too many guys, and showing off her body too much.

Kelly and I married for who we each are, not to try to make changes in each other.

Of my male college friends who were wrong in telling me not to marry Kelly, are either divorced or unhappily married, whereas Kelly and I are very much in love and happily married.

To this day Kelly is very much of a flirt with men and that is just an extension of who she is as a person, vibrant and fun loving, all of which I fully accept.

Both Kelly and I, keep in shape with her being in fantastic shape. My wife's hobby and passion is to enter one or two bikini contest a year to show off her dedication to working out, nutrition, and fantastic physical attributes.

Are my wife's bikinis skimpy and revealing? Yes, very much so, from thongs that place her rear on public display to the tops that barely cover her boobs. But the bottom line her and I are very happy together and have left my negative college buddies to wallow in their disappointing marriages or state of divorce. 

The fitness center my wife and I are members have a large poster on display of my wife in a bikini from her most recent contest she had won. Once again, the bikini reveals just about all of my wife's physical attributes and beauty......Yes but it also shows her hard work in training and nutrition and motivational for members of the club.

So after years of marriage, I love my flirty and exhibitionist wife and would not change on thing about her.

I would like to hear insights and feedback from other married couples with a wife thats tends to flirt and if it is a positive or negative.

Thanks from Wesley and Kelly


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## Faithful Wife

Awww....cute couple story!!

Welcome to TAM!

I don’t know what kind of responses you’re going to get here. Some posters may have some negative things to say so be forewarned.

I’ve been in relationships where my guy liked showing me off in various ways. But I’ve also been in a relationship where my guy definitely did not want me to blatantly show off or flirt. Both types of relationships were fun for me.

In the relationship where there was no showing off, my guy made me feel like his secret treasure that he was protecting at all times. That felt amazingly wonderful! But in the other relationships where there was showing off, that was fun (and innocent) good times too and I knew those guys did not want to swing or whatever. They just liked other guys drooling over me while they saw me with him.

To me, whatever a couple does that they both enjoy is all good.


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## sokillme

Personally I feel like too much flirting and need for sexual attention could be a sign of issues. The need for external validation is probably one of the most common reasons people stray. Especially when someone gets older and starts to loose the same volume of attention that they may have had in the past. They may push the envelope to continue to get such validation. Also if ones partner is not as attentive. But it doesn't have to be and people who don't flirt do this too. I personally feel it's disrespectful to my spouse, which is why I don't do it. I get that everyone is different though. At it's very base flirting is sending subtle mating signals saying (I am interested in pursuing something with you) so if you are married not sure why you would want to do that with someone else. Then again lots of married men and women go to strip clubs, in my mind it's all sexual titillation with someone who is not your spouse. Plus when you are on a diet why go to the doughnut store and stair at the donuts, pick up the donuts, smell the donuts? Just doesn't make sense to me. 

But --

God gave us free will. Good luck.

Do you flirt? The fact that your first post on a message board called talk about marriage says to me you are not as cool with it as you want to think you are.


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## Ynot

Many things come to mind reading this post. First off, why do you feel the need to defend your flirting wife, unless you feel someone is attacking her? Second off, your handle and your sign off, is indicative of a sadly co-dependent relationship. Thirdly, throughout the entire post you brag about your wife as if you are trying to convince yourself that it is OK and the fact that you are looking for validation is evidence of that.
Each of us is free to live the life of our choosing. So good luck to you. I hope it lasts. But I have to wonder why someone would seek out a forum such as this to expose your life to it.


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## BluesPower

While I don't understand @Ynot 's tone, I never thought of those questions, and they are interesting. 

For me, I like showing off my GF's a lot. She is sexy and conservative, but of course not conservative in the bed room. 

We have a group of friends with some single older guys, that really wanted to date her, and in a way they are all so green with envy that it makes me laugh. 

None of them had a chance with her anyway, she needed Mr. Wonderful (me) to come and sweep her off her feet. All of those guys were *****s and were just to scared to ask her out. (LOL). I think the are pathetic and funny, nice enough to have a drink with, but just not really strong people or men. 

But, yes I enjoy having her on my arm, I enjoy showing her off. 

She can flirt all she wants and all the guys can look, but the first one that lays a hand on her gets stomped. I have had to do it a couple of times. Not a problem for me.

Interesting thread though and kind of strange...


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## Ynot

BluesPower said:


> While I don't understand @Ynot 's tone, I never thought of those questions, and they are interesting.
> 
> For me, I like showing off my GF's a lot. She is sexy and conservative, but of course not conservative in the bed room.
> 
> We have a group of friends with some single older guys, that really wanted to date her, and in a way they are all so green with envy that it makes me laugh.
> 
> None of them had a chance with her anyway, she needed Mr. Wonderful (me) to come and sweep her off her feet. All of those guys were *****s and were just to scared to ask her out. (LOL). I think the are pathetic and funny, nice enough to have a drink with, but just not really strong people or men.
> 
> But, yes I enjoy having her on my arm, I enjoy showing her off.
> 
> She can flirt all she wants and all the guys can look, but the first one that lays a hand on her gets stomped. I have had to do it a couple of times. Not a problem for me.
> 
> Interesting thread though and kind of strange...


But then, you didn't seek out an internet forum and make your first post one about defending your flirting wife, now did you?
I appreciate having a nice looking, sexy, confident woman by my side as much as the next guy. I enjoy walking into a place and having every guy in the room eyeballing her but knowing she is with me.
But there is a difference between enjoying that and feeling the need to defend someone who has not been attacked. I didn't see where anybody attacked her, did you? The guy is either attention seeking or lacks confidence and is seeking validation. But that is my opinion so I should probably just let it go, because I don't want one of you internet tough guys to report me to the mods and get me banned again.


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## Andy1001

Who are you trying to convince dude,us or yourself?
Your wife likes to flash her ass and her boobs for the titillation of other men and you are posting here on a relationship advice site telling people how happy you are about it.
Her sense of self validation comes from her exhibitionist behavior,does she not have anything else in her life that makes her feel like a valuable member of society.Has she a career,have you children or would that have too much of an affect on her wonderful ass and tits.
What happens when she gets older and some younger woman’s poster goes up on the wall of your gym?
Will flirting still be enough or will it need to go further for her to retain her self belief that lots of men are lusting after her.
Grow ****ing up and pray the bimbo you married grows up too.


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## NextTimeAround

I wonder how the women in your and your wife's social circles feel about her.


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## Andy1001

NextTimeAround said:


> I wonder how the women in your and your wife's social circles feel about her.


I own a health studio and most of my customers are women.We get a few of these Barbie doll lookalikes who come in with full makeup and spend more time making sure every guy in the place is looking at her than she actually spends working out.
I’m not complaining,they are making me money but most of the other customers look on them as a kind of mascot,someone who needs constant patting on the head and being told she looks great.
In fact their figures owe more to silicon than squats.
But as I said they are making me money so pose away.


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## BruceBanner

BluesPower said:


> While I don't understand @Ynot 's tone, I never thought of those questions, and they are interesting.
> 
> For me, I like showing off my GF's a lot. She is sexy and conservative, but of course not conservative in the bed room.
> 
> We have a group of friends with some single older guys, that really wanted to date her, and in a way they are all so green with envy that it makes me laugh.
> 
> None of them had a chance with her anyway, she needed Mr. Wonderful (me) to come and sweep her off her feet. All of those guys were *****s and were just to scared to ask her out. (LOL). I think the are pathetic and funny, nice enough to have a drink with, but just not really strong people or men.


This sounds incredibly arrogant. Are you sure you're not just feeding your ego?


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## personofinterest

NextTimeAround said:


> I wonder how the women in your and your wife's social circles feel about her.


I'm not sure I'd appreciate a woman overtly flirting with hubby!


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## MWC WesleyandKelly

Hello, from both Wesley and Kelly.

Please, no reason for name calling. We are both educated professionals with meaningful lives. I just happen to enjoy keeping my body in top condition through exercise and nutrition with the challenge of competing against other like minded females


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## Andy1001

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> Hello, from both Wesley and Kelly.
> 
> Please, no reason for name calling. We are both educated professionals with meaningful lives. I just happen to enjoy keeping my body in top condition through exercise and nutrition with the challenge of competing against other like minded females


Around here we don’t need a reason for name calling.We do it free of all charges and delivery is also free.
But being an arrogant,egotistical,self promoting “professional” does give us plenty of ammo.
But hey! It’s quiet in my house today,everyone is out so I need the distraction.
Post on.


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## personofinterest

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> Hello, from both Wesley and Kelly.
> 
> Please, no reason for name calling. We are both educated professionals with meaningful lives. I just happen to enjoy keeping my body in top condition through exercise and nutrition with the challenge of competing against other like minded females


First, using your real names might not be the best idea.

Second, do you ever consider how other women may feel about you flirting it up with their husbands?
Or are you one of those who thinks they ought to be able to hack it it and "it's not my fault their husbands like my rack"


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## BluesPower

BruceBanner said:


> This sounds incredibly arrogant. Are you sure you're not just feeding your ego?


Gee, Brucy... I really don't give a crap what you think. My ego is full and fine, it stays full. My life is really great in so many ways. Thanks for asking. 

My ego is based on facts. Fact, my GF is a beauty, and she is hot at 60 YO. And yes, all the little beta's at our favorite music venue, where I also play, were and are in love with her. 

And yes I find it funny that they were all too chicken **** to ask her out. And I find it funny that they like me and kind of hate me because I took her off the market.

So yeah, it makes me feel good. I LIKE it, and I will continue to like it. 

She would not be the first woman the I stole from a group of men that liked her, BTW, she is just the best one. 

Sorry if that bothers you.......NOT.


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## TBT

Welcome to TAM. It was odd to see the opening post as a way of introduction,but to each his own.



MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> Hello, from both Wesley and Kelly.
> 
> Please, no reason for name calling. We are both educated professionals with meaningful lives. I just happen to enjoy keeping my body in top condition through exercise and nutrition with the challenge of competing against other like minded females


This is all well and good,but the OP seemed to focus more on your being flirty and as your husband stated,an exhibitionist. Not that I find that wrong in any way,but I'm just curious if it has caused you any problems,such as unwanted attention,that you had a hard time to deal with.


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## NextTimeAround

@MWC WesleyandKelly

Could you give us more detail about your social lives? Do you have one or more circle of friends that you see about twice a month or more?

Does your wife have female friends?


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## MWC WesleyandKelly

From Kelly. Yes my husband and I have numerous friends along with myself having female friends. You guys are a rough crowd


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## NextTimeAround

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> From Kelly. Yes my husband and I have numerous friends along with myself having female friends. * You guys are a rough crowd*


You are talking to a crowd that does not get any value out being an attention ***** or being with an attention *****.


you need to know your market. >


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## BluesPower

NextTimeAround said:


> You are talking to a crowd that does not get any value out being an attention ***** or being with an attention *****.
> 
> you need to know your market. >


Is this any way to treat a new member? 

I think it bothers them the all the collage friends told him not to marry her because she was too flirty. 

If she is hot and she likes to compete, why would anyone care. I just don't they should care what friends think.


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## WorkingWife

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> First of all, I like to state I love my wife and her and I are happily married.
> 
> My wife, (Kelly), and I meet in college and I was drawn to her outgoing vibrant flirting personality and her fantastic body, blonde hair, and cute face.
> 
> My male friends kept forewarning me, Kelly is not the type girl I should date and heaven forbid marry due to her being too much of a flirt, having dated too many guys, and showing off her body too much.
> 
> Kelly and I married for who we each are, not to try to make changes in each other.
> 
> Of my male college friends who were wrong in telling me not to marry Kelly, are either divorced or unhappily married, whereas Kelly and I are very much in love and happily married.
> 
> To this day Kelly is very much of a flirt with men and that is just an extension of who she is as a person, vibrant and fun loving, all of which I fully accept.
> 
> Both Kelly and I, keep in shape with her being in fantastic shape. My wife's hobby and passion is to enter one or two bikini contest a year to show off her dedication to working out, nutrition, and fantastic physical attributes.
> 
> Are my wife's bikinis skimpy and revealing? Yes, very much so, from thongs that place her rear on public display to the tops that barely cover her boobs. But the bottom line her and I are very happy together and have left my negative college buddies to wallow in their disappointing marriages or state of divorce.
> 
> The fitness center my wife and I are members have a large poster on display of my wife in a bikini from her most recent contest she had won. Once again, the bikini reveals just about all of my wife's physical attributes and beauty......Yes but it also shows her hard work in training and nutrition and motivational for members of the club.
> 
> So after years of marriage, I love my flirty and exhibitionist wife and would not change on thing about her.
> 
> I would like to hear insights and feedback from other married couples with a wife thats tends to flirt and if it is a positive or negative.
> 
> Thanks from Wesley and Kelly


I think that is fantastic. However your wife does her flirting, it clearly is not making you feel threatened like she is liable to cheat given the chance. It sounds like she's probably an open, friendly, warm, social person. And not doing anything that would make you feel insecure about her dedication to you.

I would be very interested to hear some examples of her flirting. What might she say or do that you consider flirting?

As for her good looks and great body - it sounds like she takes very good care of herself and likes showing off the results of her hard work. As long as you are feeling proud like "Yeah, that's my woman!" and not like she's trying to get attention from men because she's not fulfilled in her marriage, I think it's great. It sounds like her staying in good shape is something she works at for both of you.


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## 269370

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> The fitness center my wife and I are members have a large poster on display of my wife in a bikini from her most recent contest she had won. Once again, the bikini reveals just about all of my wife's physical attributes and beauty......
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks from Wesley and Kelly



Where can I join this fitness centre? I would like to see this poster as it’s not so clear how revealing it is. I’m all for health & fitness, whether it’s revealing or not.
Best,
From Schmoopy & Poopy 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Lostinthought61

This couple appears to be honest and upfront with each other, they are still in love with one another and are both happy. I am assuming that Kelly knows her boundaries and Wesley is good with that...so why are we not happy for them...marriages come in all shape and sizes.....it has never has been a one size fits all institution, what works for Wesley and Kelly may not work for others, but that is not our place to decide...not sure how long you both have been married but i hope you don't lose that spark that keeps that flame alive between you two.


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## MWC WesleyandKelly

Hello, from both Kelly and Wesley.

Just an attempt to clarify. The initial post was just a reflection back to the negative opinions of my college buddies back in the day pertaining to Kelly not being worthy of marriage, yet these college buddies are now either divovced, or complain about their marriage, and / or the wife letting themselves go and out of shape. Of these so called college buddies I am the only one very happily married.

Kelly and I know our boudaries and extremely respectful of each other, in no way am I threatening by her flirting, it is as I said before just a natural extension of her out going enthusiastic personality.

An in shape well defined human body is in my mind is a sight of beauty, therefore even if Kelly is in a skimpy bikini it should not be body shame or produce name calling.

Hopefully this helps explain our prospective a bit better. From Kelly and Wesley and very happily married couple.


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## Edmund

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> Hello, from both Kelly and Wesley.
> 
> 
> 
> Just an attempt to clarify. The initial post was just a reflection back to the negative opinions of my college buddies back in the day pertaining to Kelly not being worthy of marriage, yet these college buddies are now either divovced, or complain about their marriage, and / or the wife letting themselves go and out of shape. Of these so called college buddies I am the only one very happily married.
> 
> 
> 
> Kelly and I know our boudaries and extremely respectful of each other, in no way am I threatening by her flirting, it is as I said before just a natural extension of her out going enthusiastic personality.
> 
> 
> 
> An in shape well defined human body is in my mind is a sight of beauty, therefore even if Kelly is in a skimpy bikini it should not be body shame or produce name calling.
> 
> 
> 
> Hopefully this helps explain our prospective a bit better. From Kelly and Wesley and very happily married couple.



Do you by chance have a post on another web site forum about having children by some other man of a different race?


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## FieryHairedLady

Welcome to the forum. Enjoy your stay here.  

......


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## notmyrealname4

> 4. Do not post anything that resembles pornography. This could be in the form of pictures, video, or just people posting sex stories. *The purpose of TAM is not to arouse others. Threads deemed for this purpose will be deleted. If your thread does not describe a problem you need help with, it is subject to deletion.*
> *a. NO Posts or threads started just to explore sexual fantasies or for similar reasons; they will be deleted.
> 
> b. NO Polling members for sexual likes and dislikes; those threads will be deleted.*




From the forum guidelines.


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## personofinterest

personofinterest said:


> MWC WesleyandKelly said:
> 
> 
> 
> Hello, from both Wesley and Kelly.
> 
> Please, no reason for name calling. We are both educated professionals with meaningful lives. I just happen to enjoy keeping my body in top condition through exercise and nutrition with the challenge of competing against other like minded females
> 
> 
> 
> First, using your real names might not be the best idea.
> 
> Second, do you ever consider how other women may feel about you flirting it up with their husbands?
> Or are you one of those who thinks they ought to be able to hack it it and "it's not my fault their husbands like my rack"
Click to expand...

Please answer


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## john117

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> From Kelly. Yes my husband and I have numerous friends along with myself having female friends. You guys are a rough crowd


Used to be worse then the moderators started carrying Mace


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## EleGirl

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> From Kelly. Yes my husband and I have numerous friends along with myself having female friends. You guys are a rough crowd


We really prefer it if there is only one person using an account. I's confusing. You opened two accounts so why not have each of you use one of the accounts?


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## EleGirl

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> First of all, I like to state I love my wife and her and I are happily married.
> 
> My wife, (Kelly), and I meet in college and I was drawn to her outgoing vibrant flirting personality and her fantastic body, blonde hair, and cute face.
> 
> My male friends kept forewarning me, Kelly is not the type girl I should date and heaven forbid marry due to her being too much of a flirt, having dated too many guys, and showing off her body too much.
> 
> Kelly and I married for who we each are, not to try to make changes in each other.
> 
> Of my male college friends who were wrong in telling me not to marry Kelly, are either divorced or unhappily married, whereas Kelly and I are very much in love and happily married.
> 
> To this day Kelly is very much of a flirt with men and that is just an extension of who she is as a person, vibrant and fun loving, all of which I fully accept.
> 
> Both Kelly and I, keep in shape with her being in fantastic shape. My wife's hobby and passion is to enter one or two bikini contest a year to show off her dedication to working out, nutrition, and fantastic physical attributes.
> 
> Are my wife's bikinis skimpy and revealing? Yes, very much so, from thongs that place her rear on public display to the tops that barely cover her boobs. But the bottom line her and I are very happy together and have left my negative college buddies to wallow in their disappointing marriages or state of divorce.
> 
> The fitness center my wife and I are members have a large poster on display of my wife in a bikini from her most recent contest she had won. Once again, the bikini reveals just about all of my wife's physical attributes and beauty......Yes but it also shows her hard work in training and nutrition and motivational for members of the club.
> 
> So after years of marriage, I love my flirty and exhibitionist wife and would not change on thing about her.
> 
> I would like to hear insights and feedback from other married couples with a wife thats tends to flirt and if it is a positive or negative.
> 
> Thanks from Wesley and Kelly


Why do you feel a need to defend your wife? Especially to defend her to people here who don't know her so have never said anything one way or the other about her until you posted this.

Sees odd to me.


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## Andy1001

I’ve just realized that your name is an anagram of newsweekly.
And newlyweds.
And snake weed.
Coincidence?


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## jlg07

To me, a spouse who flirts (man or woman) shows disrespect of their own marriage and spouse. 
When I've seen this happen, and I not only feel that they are disrespectful, it drops my level of respect for them. I actually don't hang out much anymore with a guy I know who is very flirty, and in fact when he was drunk, got a bit too flirty and started making out with someone not his wife. That's as far as it got because she was also drunk and wound up puking all over his tent which pretty much ended that. I pretty much lost any respect for him. If he wasn't so flirty and interactive with the woman, he wouldn't have gotten himself into the situation.

However, that being said, this is YOUR marriage. If you and your wife are ok with it, then don't worry about others.


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## Beach123

Welcome!

It's all good since you both seem to have an agreement that works for you.

I do caution you - people age. Be ready when 30-40 years pass by and things change a bit.

I've had an amazing body my whole life without much effort... but time does have a way of changing things.

Are you two ready for the days when age changes your body styles?

What will you do when the body is no longer perfect?


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## Ms. Hawaii




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## WorkingWife

sokillme said:


> Do you flirt? The fact that your first post on a message board called talk about marriage says to me you are not as cool with it as you want to think you are.


The fact that he named the thread "_In defense of_ my flirting wife" made me wonder if he's really okay with it. If she's not doing anything wrong in his eyes, what is there to defend? But maybe he just says that because other people judge her flirting, like the ones who told him to avoid her when they first started seeing each other.


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## 269370

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> Are my wife's bikinis skimpy and revealing? Yes, very much so, from thongs that place her rear on public display to the tops that barely cover her boobs. But the bottom line her and I are very happy together and have left my negative college buddies to wallow in their disappointing marriages or state of divorce.
> 
> 
> 
> The fitness center my wife and I are members have a large poster on display of my wife in a bikini from her most recent contest she had won. Once again, the bikini reveals just about all of my wife's physical attributes and beauty......Yes but it also shows her hard work in training and nutrition and motivational for members of the club.
> 
> 
> 
> Thanks from Wesley and Kelly




I still think it’s important if we could see the said poster, before giving thoughtful advice...
Whether this is a cuckold fantasy story or a real life dilemma (which is what?).
I would also be happy to put a half nude poster of my wife in my office but maybe not so much on public display. But then I probably wouldn’t get anything done and have sore wrists.
Regards, 
From Artsy & Fartsy 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Rob_1

@ Blues Power said: "and she is hot at 60 YO. "

I'm almost 66 years old man that has been around to a lot of countries met a lot of people, observed a lot of women.

I can say that a "hot" 60 years old woman is only relative to the age bracket of men that are looking at her. Women might or might not look awesome for their age, but like a said "hot" mostly relatively to the age bracket looking at her.
Almost without exception (but you always have those out fliers , LOL) a twenty something/thirtysomething, even fortysomething most probably will not think of a 60 years old woman as "hot", regardless of beauty.
Men from their fifties on, yes they might think of her as hot. 

Just saying. But, probably I'm biased; I always went for the "hot ones" younger than me.
Now, I know I'll get the "heat" from some, LOL.


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## Diana7

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> First of all, I like to state I love my wife and her and I are happily married.
> 
> My wife, (Kelly), and I meet in college and I was drawn to her outgoing vibrant flirting personality and her fantastic body, blonde hair, and cute face.
> 
> My male friends kept forewarning me, Kelly is not the type girl I should date and heaven forbid marry due to her being too much of a flirt, having dated too many guys, and showing off her body too much.
> 
> Kelly and I married for who we each are, not to try to make changes in each other.
> 
> Of my male college friends who were wrong in telling me not to marry Kelly, are either divorced or unhappily married, whereas Kelly and I are very much in love and happily married.
> 
> To this day Kelly is very much of a flirt with men and that is just an extension of who she is as a person, vibrant and fun loving, all of which I fully accept.
> 
> Both Kelly and I, keep in shape with her being in fantastic shape. My wife's hobby and passion is to enter one or two bikini contest a year to show off her dedication to working out, nutrition, and fantastic physical attributes.
> 
> Are my wife's bikinis skimpy and revealing? Yes, very much so, from thongs that place her rear on public display to the tops that barely cover her boobs. But the bottom line her and I are very happy together and have left my negative college buddies to wallow in their disappointing marriages or state of divorce.
> 
> The fitness center my wife and I are members have a large poster on display of my wife in a bikini from her most recent contest she had won. Once again, the bikini reveals just about all of my wife's physical attributes and beauty......Yes but it also shows her hard work in training and nutrition and motivational for members of the club.
> 
> So after years of marriage, I love my flirty and exhibitionist wife and would not change on thing about her.
> 
> I would like to hear insights and feedback from other married couples with a wife thats tends to flirt and if it is a positive or negative.
> 
> Thanks from Wesley and Kelly


If you are happy to have a wife who flirts with other men, then fine. I see it was unloving and disrespectful, and BTW she can stop if she wants to. 
If you are happy to have a wife who shows all she's got to all those other men and has no sense of modesty at all, then fine.

I would run a mile from such a person, and I can fully see why you were warned away. Things are ok now(although if they were REALLY OK you wouldn't be posting here asking for others opinions and experiences), but maybe not in the future. Flirting is playing with fire. Its also very disrespectful to the other men's wive's that she flirts with, whether they are there or not, so she isn't thinking of you or them nor of the men, many of whom will find it embarrassing and awkward.


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## Diana7

jlg07 said:


> To me, a spouse who flirts (man or woman) shows disrespect of their own marriage and spouse.
> When I've seen this happen, and I not only feel that they are disrespectful, it drops my level of respect for them. I actually don't hang out much anymore with a guy I know who is very flirty, and in fact when he was drunk, got a bit too flirty and started making out with someone not his wife. That's as far as it got because she was also drunk and wound up puking all over his tent which pretty much ended that. I pretty much lost any respect for him. If he wasn't so flirty and interactive with the woman, he wouldn't have gotten himself into the situation.
> 
> However, that being said, this is YOUR marriage. If you and your wife are ok with it, then don't worry about others.


Trouble is that its not just affecting them but the men she flirts with and their wives/partners.


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## Diana7

personofinterest said:


> First, using your real names might not be the best idea.
> 
> Second, do you ever consider how other women may feel about you flirting it up with their husbands?
> Or are you one of those who thinks they ought to be able to hack it it and "it's not my fault their husbands like my rack"


Also how the men feel. Many married men (and some single)just don't want some woman coming onto them. I know that my husband would feel really awkward if a woman flirted with him, and would struggle with how to tell her to go away and leave him alone without being completely rude. Neither of us would ever flirt with someone else, its very disrespectful. I love and respect my husband far too much to treat him like that, and besides that He is the only man I want to flirt with and get attention from. 

You are a seeker of attention and male validation. This says that you have insecurities about yourself and your body. Not sure how old you are, but how will you cope when you are older and more wrinkly and don't look the same as now? When you don't get that attention anymore? When you no longer win bikini competitions? I think you will struggle.
As for me I couldn't are less about other men, my eyes are for him alone.


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## 269370

Diana7 said:


> As for me I couldn't are less about other men, my eyes are for him alone.



You mean for him, or Him? 🤭




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## Diana7

inmyprime said:


> You mean for him, or Him? 🤭
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


LOL in this case I meant him.


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## SpinyNorman

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> First of all, I like to state I love my wife and her and I are happily married.


If you're happy, I'm happy for you.


> To this day Kelly is very much of a flirt with men


Too many people today only care about what a conversation does for them and don't consider how their "audience" is going to take it. If your wife isn't considering how these men feel about it, she's got a lot in common w/ the jerks who spew their politics at random unsuspecting people. If she's more careful about it, it's all good.


> I would like to hear insights and feedback from other married couples with a wife thats tends to flirt and if it is a positive or negative.


Afraid I can't help you on this one.


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## Diana7

SpinyNorman said:


> If you're happy, I'm happy for you.
> Too many people today only care about what a conversation does for them and don't consider how their "audience" is going to take it. If your wife isn't considering how these men feel about it, she's got a lot in common w/ the jerks who spew their politics at random unsuspecting people. If she's more careful about it, it's all good.
> Afraid I can't help you on this one.


Yes I agree, when you think about it, flirting with other men/women, especially when you are married, is completely selfish and self centered. You do it only for yourself, because you need or want attention from them no matter what they think or feel, or how it affects them or their wives/partners. No matter how it affects your spouse and marriage or what example it sets your children if you have them. 

Most married men do NOT want some woman flirting with them, and they and their wives may quickly decide to stay well away from such a person for good reason. 

I wonder if the wife here has issues with not getting affirmation/attention from her dad? We met a lady some years back who flirted with all the men and ignored their wives, and she claimed it was because her dad didn't give her any attention or affirmation. My feeling was that it didn't give her the excuse to cause problems for others. :surprise:


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## SpinyNorman

Diana7 said:


> Yes I agree, when you think about it, flirting with other men/women, especially when you are married, is completely selfish and self centered. You do it only for yourself, because you need or want attention from them no matter what they think or feel, or how it affects them or their wives/partners. No matter how it affects your spouse and marriage or what example it sets your children if you have them.
> 
> Most married men do NOT want some woman flirting with them, and they and their wives may quickly decide to stay well away from such a person for good reason.
> 
> I wonder if the wife here has issues with not getting affirmation/attention from her dad? We met a lady some years back who flirted with all the men and ignored their wives, and she claimed it was because her dad didn't give her any attention or affirmation. My feeling was that it didn't give her the excuse to cause problems for others. :surprise:


I think people are different and what is "acceptable" is what is acceptable to the people involved. 

I don't think it matters if most men don't want their wives to flirt or not, TS is OK w/ it. We haven't heard from the men she flirts with, so that's why I wonder about them.

I suspect women who do this need affirmation but the important issue is if they're being considerate.


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## Diana7

SpinyNorman said:


> I think people are different and what is "acceptable" is what is acceptable to the people involved.
> 
> I don't think it matters if most men don't want their wives to flirt or not, TS is OK w/ it. We haven't heard from the men she flirts with, so that's why I wonder about them.
> 
> I suspect women who do this need affirmation but the important issue is if they're being considerate.


Flirting isn't being considerate to anyone though. To her husband, the other men or their partners. I suspect that deep down he doesn't like it, few men would, and that's why he has come here.


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## SpinyNorman

Diana7 said:


> Flirting isn't being considerate to anyone though. To her husband, the other men or their partners. I suspect that deep down he doesn't like it, few men would, and that's why he has come here.


I don't think you're very comfortable w/ the idea that people can be different from you.


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## Aaronk78

[/QUOTE]Most married men do NOT want some woman flirting with them[/QUOTE]

Really?? Pretty sure everyone enjoys positive attention... now if it is in front of an insecure spouse who is going to give a negative response then obviously it will not be appreciated or wanted.


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## Rob_1

Well, most married men that I personally know (including myself) really love it when women flirt with us. Actually, we eat that **** so easily, that it puts a big smile in our fragile Male egos.


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## personofinterest

Rob_1 said:


> Well, most married men that I personally know (including myself) really love it when women flirt with us. Actually, we eat that **** so easily, that it puts a big smile in our fragile Male egos.


Would it be okay with you if your wife enjoyed being flirted with? Or if shes the one flirting?


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## ConanHub

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> First of all, I like to state I love my wife and her and I are happily married.
> 
> My wife, (Kelly), and I meet in college and I was drawn to her outgoing vibrant flirting personality and her fantastic body, blonde hair, and cute face.
> 
> My male friends kept forewarning me, Kelly is not the type girl I should date and heaven forbid marry due to her being too much of a flirt, having dated too many guys, and showing off her body too much.
> 
> Kelly and I married for who we each are, not to try to make changes in each other.
> 
> Of my male college friends who were wrong in telling me not to marry Kelly, are either divorced or unhappily married, whereas Kelly and I are very much in love and happily married.
> 
> To this day Kelly is very much of a flirt with men and that is just an extension of who she is as a person, vibrant and fun loving, all of which I fully accept.
> 
> Both Kelly and I, keep in shape with her being in fantastic shape. My wife's hobby and passion is to enter one or two bikini contest a year to show off her dedication to working out, nutrition, and fantastic physical attributes.
> 
> Are my wife's bikinis skimpy and revealing? Yes, very much so, from thongs that place her rear on public display to the tops that barely cover her boobs. But the bottom line her and I are very happy together and have left my negative college buddies to wallow in their disappointing marriages or state of divorce.
> 
> The fitness center my wife and I are members have a large poster on display of my wife in a bikini from her most recent contest she had won. Once again, the bikini reveals just about all of my wife's physical attributes and beauty......Yes but it also shows her hard work in training and nutrition and motivational for members of the club.
> 
> So after years of marriage, I love my flirty and exhibitionist wife and would not change on thing about her.
> 
> I would like to hear insights and feedback from other married couples with a wife thats tends to flirt and if it is a positive or negative.
> 
> Thanks from Wesley and Kelly


I don't see anything wrong with your relationship but you seem a bit too hung up and down on your college friends.

I want everyone to have a good marriage and I'm sad if a marriage is unhappy or ends.

Your relationship isn't for everyone or necessarily a recipe for success.

It works for you so no worries but isn't for everyone.

Mrs. Conan is modest and I'm not but we love each other and make due.

I could wish she showed off a little more. She does flirt naturally but I don't think she realizes she is.

We are comfortable with our boundaries and she gets more leeway when flirting with women. We don't swing or share. It is just harmless fun when everyone is having a good time.


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## Beach123

It's an ego problem.

She's not satisfied with just your attention - she needs it from loads of others.


It's like a con - she shows nearly all but no one can have it.

I call that cruel flirting that's designed for her selfish needs - ego strokes.

It's mean actually.


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## Diana7

SpinyNorman said:


> I don't think you're very comfortable w/ the idea that people can be different from you.


I know what flirting is about and where it can lead. For anyone in a relationship/marriage its a no no and totally selfish.


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## Diana7

Beach123 said:


> It's an ego problem.
> 
> She's not satisfied with just your attention - she needs it from loads of others.
> 
> 
> It's like a con - she shows nearly all but no one can have it.
> 
> I call that cruel flirting that's designed for her selfish needs - ego strokes.
> 
> It's mean actually.


Yep. Shows an immaturity and a low self esteem.


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## Diana7

Most married men do NOT want some woman flirting with them[/QUOTE]

Really?? Pretty sure everyone enjoys positive attention... now if it is in front of an insecure spouse who is going to give a negative response then obviously it will not be appreciated or wanted.[/QUOTE]

Nothing to do with a jealous spouse, but a desire to focus their sexual energies and desires on their own husband or wife. I would hate it if another man flirted with me because I am just not interested. My husband is one of many men who would avoid a flirt at all costs, he just isn't interested in a woman who acts that way. He actually finds women who are modest far more attractive. He is also very secure in himself and doesn't need affirmation form others.


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## Diana7

Rob_1 said:


> Well, most married men that I personally know (including myself) really love it when women flirt with us. Actually, we eat that **** so easily, that it puts a big smile in our fragile Male egos.


Well you said it right, fragile male egos. Those men who don't have such fragile male egos don't want another woman flirting with them. Two people both with fragile egos trying to make themselves feel better by flirting, and they are married as well. Its a bit pathetic really and its playing with fire.


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## SarcasticRed

Neither my husband or I flirt with others. So can't help you there. 

My husband is uncomfortable when other women flirt with him...especially in front of me. Married or not, in a relationship or not, it makes him uneasy if they are flirty. It has impacted at least 2 friendships as I'm not a big fan of them flirting in front of me and he isn't/wasn't comfortable around them, even with me there. 

However, each relationship is different. If you are both into it, then it isn't an issue. Most couples, I imagine, have an element to their relationship that others would find odd but works for them.


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## Diana7

IF a person is completely ok with their partner flirting and exposing their body to others, they don't need to come onto a forum about marriage trying to persuade others(and themselves) that they are happy with it. Its clear as day that he isn't as happy as he makes out.


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## Diana7

Rob_1 said:


> Well, most married men that I personally know (including myself) really love it when women flirt with us. Actually, we eat that **** so easily, that it puts a big smile in our fragile Male egos.



Nothing to do with a jealous spouse, but a desire to focus their sexual energies and desires on their own husband or wife. I would hate it if another man flirted with me because I am just not interested. My husband is one of many men who would avoid a flirt at all costs, he just isn't interested in a woman who acts that way. He actually finds women who are modest far more attractive. He is also very secure in himself and doesn't need affirmation form others.


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## David Darling

Here's a rather more open minded, indeed joyful, essay on the benefits of flirting (to society as a whole). And he even mentions Jesus.
https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/why-flirting-matters/


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## Diana7

David Darling said:


> Here's a rather more open minded, indeed joyful, essay on the benefits of flirting (to society as a whole). And he even mentions Jesus.
> https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/why-flirting-matters/


Well, people will try and justify anything. The comparison to Jesus was way off track and bizarre, Jesus didn't flirt, he loved people in a completely different way. 

Flirting is fine if both are single and want to get to know each other, or if the one flirting is married to the one he/she is flirting with.


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## personofinterest

Diana7 said:


> David Darling said:
> 
> 
> 
> Here's a rather more open minded, indeed joyful, essay on the benefits of flirting (to society as a whole). And he even mentions Jesus.
> https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/why-flirting-matters/
> 
> 
> 
> Well, people will try and justify anything. The comparison to Jesus was way off track and bizarre, Jesus didn't flirt, he loved people in a completely different way.
> 
> Flirting is fine if both are single and want to get to know each other, or if the one flirting is married to the one he/she is flirting with.
Click to expand...

Yeah...really? JESUS as a flirt?? Disgusting.


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## jlg07

That whole article is trash -- the reason to flirt is so that OTHER PEOPLE feel good about themselves, so it is a service to society?? WOW that's some serious bs. COMPLETELY ignore the bad connotations other than a passing reference in the first paragraph. Ugh.


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## Diana7

jlg07 said:


> That whole article is trash -- the reason to flirt is so that OTHER PEOPLE feel good about themselves, so it is a service to society?? WOW that's some serious bs. COMPLETELY ignore the bad connotations other than a passing reference in the first paragraph. Ugh.


Probably a flirt trying to justify it.
A lovely lady I used to know had a husband who flirted a lot. Eventually he had an affair, got another woman pregnant and left his wife and small children who were devastated. Anyone who hasn't got strong enough boundaries to stop them flirting, is in danger of cheating .


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## jlg07

Diana, even if they DO have their own boundaries internal to the marriage, that isn't evident to anyone external to their marriage.

To me, when I see someone flirting, that shows to ME that they are disrespectful to their spouse and their marriage.


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## happyhusband0005

MWC WesleyandKelly said:


> First of all, I like to state I love my wife and her and I are happily married.
> 
> My wife, (Kelly), and I meet in college and I was drawn to her outgoing vibrant flirting personality and her fantastic body, blonde hair, and cute face.
> 
> My male friends kept forewarning me, Kelly is not the type girl I should date and heaven forbid marry due to her being too much of a flirt, having dated too many guys, and showing off her body too much.
> 
> Kelly and I married for who we each are, not to try to make changes in each other.
> 
> Of my male college friends who were wrong in telling me not to marry Kelly, are either divorced or unhappily married, whereas Kelly and I are very much in love and happily married.
> 
> To this day Kelly is very much of a flirt with men and that is just an extension of who she is as a person, vibrant and fun loving, all of which I fully accept.
> 
> Both Kelly and I, keep in shape with her being in fantastic shape. My wife's hobby and passion is to enter one or two bikini contest a year to show off her dedication to working out, nutrition, and fantastic physical attributes.
> 
> Are my wife's bikinis skimpy and revealing? Yes, very much so, from thongs that place her rear on public display to the tops that barely cover her boobs. But the bottom line her and I are very happy together and have left my negative college buddies to wallow in their disappointing marriages or state of divorce.
> 
> The fitness center my wife and I are members have a large poster on display of my wife in a bikini from her most recent contest she had won. Once again, the bikini reveals just about all of my wife's physical attributes and beauty......Yes but it also shows her hard work in training and nutrition and motivational for members of the club.
> 
> So after years of marriage, I love my flirty and exhibitionist wife and would not change on thing about her.
> 
> I would like to hear insights and feedback from other married couples with a wife thats tends to flirt and if it is a positive or negative.
> 
> Thanks from Wesley and Kelly


I think it's great. For those who compare a fitness nut competing flaunting for guys don't understand that its about more than flaunting it for other guys. I assume doing the competitions is part of motivating herself to continue working hard. My wife enjoys showing off her body when we are on a beach vacation or by a pool in Vegas. She works hard for it and she's very lucky to have had two kids and still have a flat stomach big perky boobs and no stretch marks, so why not show off while she still can. She does dress more conservatively around most friends and family because lets be honest some women treat other women who are hot and don't hide it quite horribly quite often. I wouldn't say she is flirty but she has a dirty mind so that can come across as flirty to someone who doesn't know her well. I think it's hilarious because most of the time she is completely clueless to how dirty the **** coming out of her mouth sounds, shes like a kid swearing not knowing they saying a swear word. 

I think you sound genuinely happy and have enough self confidence to not be threatened so it also sounds like you're a good match.


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## 269370

Diana7 said:


> I would hate it if another man flirted with me because I am just not interested.



What if he was really hot? Like Jesus? 
Joking. 
I respect your values and like most of them: plus I’m not flirting, I promise 




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## Spicy

My response? 

Oh.


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## 269370

personofinterest said:


> Yeah...really? JESUS as a flirt?? Disgusting.



To be fair, historical facts contradict this. Apparently he was a bit of a flirt after all:

https://www.google.de/amp/s/unsettledwords.com/2014/03/21/did-jesus-flirt/amp/

And why not? He was only human. Oh wait...never mind. 
But if I was made in his image, why wouldn’t they know how to flirt?

I think it depends. What do people consider flirting nowadays? Is talking to a woman in a friendly way or joking with her flirting? Am I allowed to talk to women without it being flirting? Who decides what’s flirting and what isn’t?


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## NextTimeAround

I think a little flirt here and there, a witty turn of phrase can make a conversation lively. But I would grow weary of "that man's wife" who always has to isolate some man and talk to him one on one. And then move on to "another woman's husband." It would become text booky.

My sister dated a guy for a couple of years who like to go to the bars and try to chat up other people. Sometimes it happened. But it didn't, it can be embarrassing. 

People who are natural are what I prefer. Not someone who's given themselves a label and feels the need to live up to it.


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