# Cyber cheating while I was pregnant, struggling



## MsSpicer (Sep 4, 2012)

I'm having such a hard time getting past recent problems that have popped up in my marriage. In 2010 I was engaged and pregnant. My fiance was stationed in Afghanistan shortly after we found out I was pregnant, he asked me to abort the baby, and we broke up. I I planned to have the baby alone, which would have given me 3 kids (2 from prior marriage). I turned to a chat site to talk about this terrifying situation and very unexpectedly met a man who was interested in me, despite the fact that I was pregnant. Within 2 months we were living together, he was there for the birth of the baby and has since raised him like his own, along with my other 2 kids. We talked about getting married for about a year and then I found out I was pregnant again, so he said that we should get married before the baby was born and set the date for March '12. In Feb '12 he accidentally left his Facebook page open so when I opened the computer it appeared I had a message and when I clicked on it I saw a conversation he had with a girl he worked with. It was only slightly less involved than cybersex. I immediately freaked out and called him hysterical, he cried and told me he was so sorry, it would never happen again. I tried to let it go, but at over 6 months pregnant I was so emotional and heartbroken it was almost impossible to forget. We got married anyway, I had the baby in May, and a few weeks later I went to log on to Facebook again and he had left his account logged on. I couldn't help it, I looked through his messages, and apparently for the entire 2 year period before our marriage he had been sending messages to other girls, telling them they were beautiful, he wanted to talk to them, etc. I found a message that he had deleted from back when we first started dating to a girl he had been seeing telling her things he had told me - he loved her, wanted to get serious, etc. She didn't respond and for like 6 months while we were dating he tried to get in touch with her several times, telling her he missed her. I was again absolutely heartbroken, confused, devastated. I feel like our entire relationship is built on lies, like I'm not now nor have I ever been good enough for him. I feel like he must have only married me because I was pregnant. I'm constantly hurting because of this, there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not consumed by thoughts of him cheating on me. I'm so hurt... has anyone gone through something like this?? Have you gotten over it? What do we do? He said he'd be willing to go to counseling but he doesn't know why he was doing these things, so what good would counseling do? Please help


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

He's doing it because he was probably doing it before/when he met you and found it to be a "rush" and after marrying you, you have not been able to provide that "rush".

Not your fault. He need some serious help.


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