# How many is too many?



## WhiteRaven

Say a guy really likes you. His sexual history if written down would rival the size of Oxford Encyclopedia. Would you consider a relationship with him? How many is too many?


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## magnoliagal

My husband has less than me. And, it eventually caused us some problems in the relationship. The problems came after he was diagnosed with low T and they raised it.

So, it's probably worth finding out why the list is so long. Perhaps the explanation will satisfy. But, perhaps your observations of his behavior will tell you why. Proceed cautiously.


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## WhiteRaven

magnoliagal said:


> My husband has less than me. And, it eventually caused us some problems in the relationship. The problems came after he was diagnosed with low T and they raised it.
> 
> So, it's probably worth finding out why the list is so long. Perhaps the explanation will satisfy. *But, perhaps your observations of his behavior will tell you why. Proceed cautiously.*


Thanks. It's the first time that I'll be dating a guy.

The guy I'm talking about is me. So I'd like a perspective on what all the beautiful ladies of TAM think this topic.


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## Abc123wife

WhiteRaven said:


> Say a guy really likes you. His sexual history if written down would rival the size of Oxford Encyclopedia. Would you consider a relationship with him? How many is too many?


Sorry, but it would bother me since it sounds like the number is huge (can you give a ballpark figure?). I would think there was an issue with being able to form a lasting relationship. Now if the majority were from a distant past (like young 20s/30s) and you have had long committed relationship more recently or at some point, I might feel differently.


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## Maricha75

3, maybe 4 people would be acceptable to me.... Maybe up to 7, depending on the circumstances. Even at my age (38), I would be uncomfortable dating someone who had a large number. It's just how I am. This is, of course, assuming I would ever re-enter the dating pool. I hope I never have to worry about that. But I have only been with 3 men, total. One, of course, being my husband, and the other two were once, each, in my teens.


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## WhiteRaven

Before my marriage, I've been with 3 women, including my wife. After D, 50 women in 6 months- 46 ONSs, 4 FWBs. I'm 30.


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## JCD

These threads never end well.


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## Maricha75

JCD said:


> These threads never end well.


True. Invariably, someone posts that it doesn't matter, as long as you are committed to that one person, etc. Then many of those who prefer small numbers get defensive and feel like they are attacked because the numbers matter to them, etc... Not gonna get defensive, so dont worry lol. However, 50 would be way too high a number for me... at any age.


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## Sandfly

WhiteRaven said:


> Say a guy really likes you. His sexual history if written down would rival the size of Oxford Encyclopedia. Would you consider a relationship with him? How many is too many?


The sexual history bit isn't really the issue for me. It's more the fact that he's a guy would put me off.


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## Coffee Amore

WhiteRaven said:


> After D, 50 women in 6 months- 46 ONSs, 4 FWBs. I'm 30.


This would be too many for me.


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## delirium

50 women in 6 months? I would not be interested in dating.


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## WhiteRaven

Sandfly said:


> The sexual history bit isn't really the issue for me. It's more the fact that he's a guy would put me off.


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Pepper123

WR- To answer your question... I don't get hung up on numbers, per say... what would bother me more is the amount of meaningless sex you've had as a way to seemingly get over what your ExW put you through. 

I thought you were hooking up with the OMs W? So were you doing that as well as a bunch of others on the side? 

The most anyone that I have been with has had is 18 partners.... that was fine with me. 

The higher one's number is, is indicative that it just means less to you IMHO... That is what would bother me more than the number itself.


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## LanieB

WhiteRaven said:


> Before my marriage, I've been with 3 women, including my wife. After D, 50 women in 6 months- 46 ONSs, 4 FWBs. I'm 30.


 50 women in 6 months?? For real?? Yikes! I've never asked any guy I've been with how many women he's had sex with, however, I know I've been with a couple of guys who had been with a lot of women. I've never really cared much about numbers, but if I met someone who told me he'd been with 50 women in 6 months, I've gotta say that would bother me. I've never had a ONS, and I have no intention of ever being anyone else's ONS, so I doubt I would have anything in common with a ONS King. If I'd gotten to know the guy and really liked him AND THEN he told me about this crazy number, it's *possible *I might still give him a chance, but very unlikely. I would be too worried about STD's, and obviously if he was screwing this many women, I would be worried about his "issues". And I've been through too much sh!t in my marriage to purposefully get involved with someone like this.


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## chillymorn

just keep it to yourself. say I don't kiss and tell and leave it at that!


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## mablenc

I thought this post was about children when I read the title.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog

Too many for what? Modern medical science?


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## Maricha75

chillymorn said:


> just keep it to yourself. say I don't kiss and tell and leave it at that!


Yep! Keep it to yourself, so she is the type of woman who is turned off by the fact that a man has been with many women, she'll be just fine with the deception. Yep! Go ahead.

Sorry, if a man is evasive, using that line, I would feel he is being deceptive. Seriously, be honest. If numbers don't bother her, she could be the one. If they DO bother her, why would you be deliberately deceptive, just to get her into the sack? It's just as bad as the bait and switch we hear about in SIM.


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## Coffee Amore

chillymorn said:


> just keep it to yourself. say I don't kiss and tell and leave it at that!


Interesting advice when given to a man. When women conceal their numbers, they get blasted here by the men.

He should be honest about it and let the chips fall where they may.


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## ExiledBayStater

mablenc said:


> I thought this post was about children when I read the title.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I thought it was about pairs of shoes.


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## JCD

Maricha75 said:


> True. Invariably, someone posts that it doesn't matter, as long as you are committed to that one person, etc. Then many of those who prefer small numbers get defensive and feel like they are attacked because the numbers matter to them, etc... Not gonna get defensive, so dont worry lol. However, 50 would be way too high a number for me... at any age.


I disagree a little. 

It is that someone inevitably says that his/her history is totally off limits and should be hidden even if he/she personally slept with every single opposite gendered person in the greater Cleveland Metropolitan Zone.

This generally provokes a fight in the people who believe numbers matter.


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## SimplyAmorous

I'd want to know someone's sexual history to gauge if our sexual intentions/ lifestyles meshed...it would be a HUGE deal to me.. as a romantically geared female who favors those "one woman" types...that would be looking for something lasting and true... 

What attracts me to a man is one who can't separate Love & sex... even if he wanted to, it would be something he struggled with..this would speak to me..

Some things I feel strongly about -this is one of those...I look upon Sex as ...the deepest giving of yourself ...it is the greatest expression of love towards another person.... a sweet vulnerability comes with this...passionate and raging.. yet it must also have the strings of emotional entanglement, representing the deepest of trust, even hope..... so I could not be with someone who took this act lightly.. casually... 

If the reality is ...I'd just his #51 ...6 months into the new year...No..this would speak all I needed to know... I wouldn't be his type either!!.... so not much would be lost.


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## WhiteRaven

chillymorn said:


> just keep it to yourself. say I don't kiss and tell and leave it at that!


If someone wants to know, they should know. The foundation of a relationship shouldn't be half truths, lies and assumptions.


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## JCD

WhiteRaven said:


> If someone wants to know, they should know. The foundation of a relationship shouldn't be half truths, lies and assumptions.


Actions have consequences. If I say jerky things all the time, people will react badly to me.

If you sleep around a lot, it is going to turn off a very large subsection of women who are seeking a LTR.

BUT...you will find yourself a nice soiled dove who also doesn't want people to make too much of her own stupid phase.

As long as the two of you decide not to throw stones at one another's glass houses, you'll be fine.


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## Fenix

Nice soiled dove? Yuck.


WR, it would bother me. I would think you are messed up and trying to get over a messy divorce...which is probably true. Would it be something I could get over? Probably, if the behavior changed a decent amount of time before I met you and wanted to get involved with you. Call it ST insanity as a reaction to your divorce (if true). If it is a life style choice, then I would run away.


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## Caribbean Man

WhiteRaven said:


> Before my marriage, I've been with 3 women, including my wife. After D, 50 women in 6 months- 46 ONSs, 4 FWBs. I'm 30.



It would be interesting to know how were you able to rack up such high " frequent flyer" mileage in such a short time, since before your wife , you only had two partners in your entire life.

Post divorce @ thirty, you were able to have 50 partners in six months, all of them casual sex encounters.
That would mean approximately two different women every week , consistently for six months.

If I was a woman I would be concerned because of the risk of STD's. Condom use doesn't prevent herpes. And any STD specialist would tell you that eight different sexual partners per month puts you squarely in the upper level of the high risk zone.

Were you involved in the adult entertainment industry?


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## ReformedHubby

I'm sorry man but I gotta call you out. How in the world is that number possible? I used to run with some ridiculous players and the number 50 is mind boggling even for them. Especially that number of one night stands.

Hypothetically speaking if I were single and it was a goal of mine to reach that number I couldn't do it even if I threw looks out as a qualifier. Plus....once I had a few in the rotation I wouldn't see a need too add more. Why not go back for seconds or thirds on some of the ONSs, they are often open to it. Putting back on my player hat I'm having a hard time following the logic.


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## chillymorn

theres no deception involved with my comment.

she can interpret it any way she pleases if she decides that it was deceptive then she can walk and wouldn't be the woman for me.

I would not care to know how many partners she had and I would want the same from my mate.


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## WyshIknew

ReformedHubby said:


> I'm sorry man but I gotta call you out. How in the world is that number possible? I used to run with some ridiculous players and the number 50 is mind boggling even for them. Especially that number of one night stands.
> 
> Hypothetically speaking if I were single and it was a goal of mine to reach that number I couldn't do it even if I threw looks out as a qualifier. Plus....once I had a few in the rotation I wouldn't see a need too add more. Why not go back for seconds or thirds on some of the ONSs, they are often open to it. Putting back on my player hat I'm having a hard time following the logic.


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## WyshIknew

Sorry Raven, couldn't resist!


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## Deejo

ReformedHubby said:


> I'm sorry man but I gotta call you out. How in the world is that number possible? I used to run with some ridiculous players and the number 50 is mind boggling even for them. Especially that number of one night stands.
> 
> Hypothetically speaking if I were single and it was a goal of mine to reach that number I couldn't do it even if I threw looks out as a qualifier. Plus....once I had a few in the rotation I wouldn't see a need too add more. Why not go back for seconds or thirds on some of the ONSs, they are often open to it. Putting back on my player hat I'm having a hard time following the logic.


If he's on a hook-up site, I don't think it's improbable at all. Otherwise he'd have to be a rock star on tour.

Find a pool of like minded individuals and sex really isn't difficult to come by at all. I do know someone that used such sites and slept with 3 different women in one day. No joke.

Much too risky for me.

But ... perspective is everything. I state that I don't have casual sex. I want to know and care about who I sleep with. But ... that doesn't mean that I'm with everyone I sleep with for years.

*Edited to add* But without a doubt many people would describe my post divorce lifestyle as having 'casual sex'. Hell, I'm more like 2 to 3 people a year, however.

I say decide what it is that you want and need. Do you want a long term relationship? If you don't need a true 'relationship', then it really isn't even worth having the conversation with someone regarding numbers is it?


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## WhiteRaven

I'm afraid to get emotionally involved with anyone again. FWBs are with only those I don't think I'd ever get attached. 

Feel free to judge me. I don't like myself much either.


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## Deejo

WhiteRaven said:


> I'm afraid to get emotionally involved with anyone again. FWBs are with only those I don't think I'd ever get attached.
> 
> Feel free to judge me. I don't like myself much either.


As long as you are aware of what you are doing and why you're doing it, I have no issue at all. If you're leaving a wake of people that are feeling hurt, heartbroken or betrayed, all I'd suggest is make sure your messaging is more clear.

The 'Do No Harm' thing is big to me. Sometimes being open and honest still means someone gets hurt, or that you get accused of being selfish or deceitful. For me, it's about whether or not I'm meeting my standard of openness and honesty, not necessarily theirs.


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## always_alone

Deejo said:


> The 'Do No Harm' thing is big to me. Sometimes being open and honest still means someone gets hurt, or that you get accused of being selfish or deceitful. For me, it's about whether or not I'm meeting my standard of openness and honesty, not necessarily theirs.


Okay, but here we have a guy who admits he's afraid of emotional intimacy, yet is asking *us* if women would mind high number counts of ONS. 

Why? 

Because he isn't clear enough with women that he deliberately wants to avoid attachment to them? Or is he seeking something deeper than ONS, despite his self-admitted fear?

If the latter, some real honesty here would provide a valuable opportunity to come to terms with emotional intimacy. 

So often in "do no harm" policies, the person you (anyone) are most trying to protect is yourself --and consideration of the other is but a rationalization to justify staying in your comfort zone. 

When really, the most promise and opportunity lies in stepping out on that limb.


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## Deejo

always_alone said:


> Okay, but here we have a guy who admits he's afraid of emotional intimacy, yet is asking *us* if women would mind high number counts of ONS.
> 
> Why?
> 
> Because he isn't clear enough with women that he deliberately wants to avoid attachment to them? Or is he seeking something deeper than ONS, despite his self-admitted fear?
> 
> If the latter, some real honesty here would provide a valuable opportunity to come to terms with emotional intimacy.
> 
> So often in "do no harm" policies, the person you (anyone) are most trying to protect is yourself --and consideration of the other is but a rationalization to justify staying in your comfort zone.
> 
> When really, the most promise and opportunity lies in stepping out on that limb.


Wait ... what?

Are you taking issue with me or him?

I think WhiteRaven wants to feel close to someone without having the emotional risk of having his heart ripped out. That's my Sunday morning armchair diagnosis.

I don't think that he's looking for a 'get back' at women because of his wife's behavior, but I dunno ... maybe that's part of the equation too.

I don't want to willfully harm anyone I involve myself with. I on the other hand, am absolutely willing to put myself at emotional risk to have the kind of relationship I want to have. I've been dumped, I've had my heart broken. It's toughened up and become far more resilient, but it still has a soft, gooey center. A partner just has to demonstrate enough investment and interest to get to it. I no longer cut my own chest open for them and say, "See?"


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## Entropy3000

Coffee Amore said:


> Interesting advice when given to a man. When women conceal their numbers, they get blasted here by the men.
> 
> He should be honest about it and let the chips fall where they may.


I totally agree. Men or women. I have the same answer to this question.

A man or a woman having a large number of ONSs would be a real turnoff and be indicative of some serious issues. Where do the issues start in the 1 to 50 continuum is hard to say. Past a handful becomes an indicator of likely damaged goods. How damaged is debatable. This puts that person in the project category to me. 

When a guy touts that number in six months I wonder if he is paying for sex in any of those. A woman can obviously achieve those numbers on her own ... merits. Or maybe the guy is lying on the internet hoping for some unattached sex. Which is even creepier on a marriage forum but wink wink, we know it is here. Not accusing anyone of anything. It is an honest question.

To each their own but my stand on this stuff is and always has been honesty. Whatever the numbers. If you have to lie, then you know you have a problem.


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## Entropy3000

JCD said:


> I disagree a little.
> 
> It is that someone inevitably says that his/her history is totally off limits and should be hidden even if he/she personally slept with every single opposite gendered person in the greater Cleveland Metropolitan Zone.
> 
> This generally provokes a fight in the people who believe numbers matter.


Why would anyone have sex with someone from Cleveland? OMG.


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## syhoybenden

So WR, you got the clap yet? I gotta tell ya, 50 in 6 months sounds like you're doing some shoddy vetting.


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## WhiteRaven

syhoybenden said:


> So WR, you got the clap yet? I gotta tell ya, 50 in 6 months sounds like you're doing some shoddy vetting.


Not been too choosy bro.


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## Entropy3000

Looking over your threads ... check.

Issues ... Hella Check.

I suggest you start pulling things together and not worry so much about new relationships ... yet.

But drowning yourself this way is actually self abusive in the same way someone becomes an alcoholic.

Easy for me to say but you need to find who you are. Center yourself. Do not look for yourself in some random vagina, bottle or whatever drug. These just make it hard to find yourself. They are self destructive. This is beyond being a player even.

Do not look for a woman to help fix you. You have a tough road ahead. Get involved with more constructive pursuits. This is going to take time. But when you are ready ... focus on the realtionship in all its positive ways. You have to love yourself first. As Deejo says ... do no harm. It is best for others but truthfully it is best for your own spirit. You have been purposely destroying yourself. Stop this now. Do not destroy sex for yourself. It is also likely obfuscating your ability to connect with others, especially women. Do not continue this. This lifestyle is not who you are. But it is who you are becoming. You are afraid to connect so you have ONSs. I get it. I really do.


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## jaharthur

Interesting question, especially in relation to the double standard perception that it's OK for men to rack up a huge number of partners but women must be near-virginal.

The responses in this thread from women--unfortunately there aren't that many--seem to have a distribution about the same as I would expect if a group of men were answering.


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## always_alone

Deejo said:


> Wait ... what?
> 
> Are you taking issue with me or him?


I'm not "taking issue" with either one of you. Merely suggesting that if it is truly emotional intimacy you want, then there really is only one standard of honesty.

It doesn't involve ripping your heart open with no thought to how carefully they may handle it. 

Nor does it involve being afraid to own up to who you are, warts and all.


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## Maricha75

jaharthur said:


> The responses in this thread from women--unfortunately there aren't that many--seem to have a distribution about the same as I would expect if a group of men were answering.


Do you mean there aren't that many compared to how many women are on this site? Or is it in comparison to the number of posts by men in this htread? If the former, I can understand you comment. If the latter, sorry, but the responses are about equal in number between men and women, so far.


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## jaharthur

Maricha75 said:


> Do you mean there aren't that many compared to how many women are on this site? Or is it in comparison to the number of posts by men in this htread? If the former, I can understand you comment. If the latter, sorry, but the responses are about equal in number between men and women, so far.


The former.


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## Maricha75

jaharthur said:


> The former.


Ah, ok. Fair enough. However, it IS the weekend, and many post from work, during the week... and it's Easter weekend as well...


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## Dollystanford

I'm pretty open minded and have had LTRs, FWBs and ONSs myself but 50 in six months after only 3 prior to marriage is clearly reckless behaviour

I'd want to know you were a) emotionally ready for something more than a quick bang and b) squeaky clean and even then I'd be wary


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## Rowan

WhiteRaven said:


> I'm afraid to get emotionally involved with anyone again. FWBs are with only those I don't think I'd ever get attached.
> 
> Feel free to judge me. *I don't like myself much either*.


50 partners in 6 months, to me, would be evidence of you being self-destructive. Your comment in bold above is pretty much what I would expect from someone with that high a number in that short a time frame. And, honestly, that you hate yourself, are emotionally unavailable, self-destructive, and potentially have an addictive personality are the real things I would have huge issues with. Your sexual frenzy of late is a symptom of you being emotionally unhealthy. That, rather than simply a high number, is what would be a deal breaker for me.


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## JCD

Caribbean Man said:


> Were you involved in the adult entertainment industry?


Funny. I thought 'holiday in Bangkok.'


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## BjornFree

WhiteRaven said:


> Before my marriage, I've been with 3 women, including my wife. After D, 50 women in 6 months- 46 ONSs, 4 FWBs. I'm 30.


Where do you find the time for so many unless you do this every other day? \


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## over20

WhiteRaven said:


> Before my marriage, I've been with 3 women, including my wife. After D, 50 women in 6 months- 46 ONSs, 4 FWBs. I'm 30.


The ONS's number would bother me. Although I would understand that you just got divorced and maybe wanted to party a bit...If I was going to date you, then don't tell me the number and I wouldn't ask, it's none of my business, Just make sure you are clean of any STD"S..

In all honesty though I would def choose a man with a lower number of partners, it would show me that he viewed sex with a partner as a very loving act.


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## EleGirl

WhiteRaven,

How would you respond to a woman how had a similar number and a recent history like yours?

It sounds to me like you are in self destruct mode. You are lucky if you have not come down with an STD.

I'd only consider seeing someone with a history like this if it had been a long time since his self destructive stint and he'd worked on fixing his issues. Oh and that he was not a carrier of some STD.


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## See_Listen_Love

Conclusion: 

Everybody gives you the freedom to do what you want to destroy your spirit, 

but 

Nobody will want to share their life with you. Just to precious.
(Those who would are not the ones you want)


You need to go live in a monastery for a while to find yourself.


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## JCD

EleGirl said:


> WhiteRaven,
> 
> How would you respond to a woman how had a similar number and a recent history like yours?
> 
> It sounds to me like you are in self destruct mode. You are lucky if you have not come down with an STD.
> 
> I'd only consider seeing someone with a history like this if it had been a long time since his self destructive stint and he'd worked on fixing his issues. Oh and that he was not a carrier of some STD.


I'm of two minds of this.

If the OP thinks he is behaving in a self destructive way, than he is. He has crossed his 'denial' line in his head, so he needs some help.

However, I am looking at his record. Becky from High School, June from College and Wifey. 

Nothing wrong with that.

LTR faithful relationship with wife. And if the two of them were having sex every other day or every three days, no one would blink an eye. Heck, we'd give him kudos!

Now his marriage has ended and he wants to get a bit of self confidence back. Again, I don't think that ANYONE would ding him if he went on a DATE every 3 days. We'd probably applaud him for being able to move on and was actively seeking another partner. But I don't think that is EXACTLY what is going on here.

Raven...at 50 chicks, I think you can safely say you are attractive to women in some way.

So let's drop THAT confidence issue and deal with your 'intimacy' and trust problems. Get a therapist, do a post mortem on your marriage to find out your personal flaws, find out what you need to do mentally to come back to an even keel, and maybe start to NOT sleep with everyone you meet.

All you are doing is pressing the endorphin button in your brain to fill up the emptiness. That isn't a long term strategy.


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## over20

WhiteRaven said:


> I'm afraid to get emotionally involved with anyone again. FWBs are with only those I don't think I'd ever get attached.
> 
> Feel free to judge me. I don't like myself much either.


I think I would be like you, if I did divorce....but I am never divorcing my cutie hubs...ever, ever, I mean ever


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## JCD

over20 said:


> I think I would be like you, if I did divorce....but I am never divorcing my cutie hubs...ever, ever, I mean ever


On the one hand, that is very touching.

On the other hand... 

Over all I think it's sort of cute.


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## Caribbean Man

WhiteRaven said:


> I'm afraid to get emotionally involved with anyone again. FWBs are with only those I don't think I'd ever get attached.
> 
> Feel free to judge me. I don't like myself much either.


No, no , no ,no ,no man.

Stop saying that you don't like yourself!

You might not like some of the things you did ,or the way your life turned out.
But if you didn't like yourself then you probably wouldn't have been asking questions here in the first place.

What caused your divorce?
Was anyone at fault, or was there infidelity?

BTW, I responded to your PM , hope it helps.


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## WhiteRaven

over20 said:


> I think I would be like you, if I did divorce


You can always be better than me.


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## WhiteRaven

Caribbean Man said:


> What caused your divorce?
> Was anyone at fault, or was there infidelity?


Usual vanilla adultery by xW.


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## WhiteRaven

JCD said:


> All you are doing is pressing the endorphin button in your brain to fill up the emptiness. That isn't a long term strategy.


:iagree:

I've been without sex for the last 2 weeks. Somehow, I'm not feeling any desire or urge for it after I started staying with my parents again. 

I agree with the posters who have been saying I'm trying to fill the void in my life. D created a loneliness I've never been through before. Desperate times call for stupid measures. The more I'm emotionally recovering the more I'm reviewing the past 6 months. As I can say is I can do better.


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## WhiteRaven

BjornFree said:


> Where do you find the time for so many unless you do this every other day? \


Where there is a will, there is time.


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## JCD

WhiteRaven said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I've been without sex for the last 2 weeks. Somehow, I'm not feeling any desire or urge for it after I started staying with my parents again.
> 
> I agree with the posters who have been saying I'm trying to fill the void in my life. D created a loneliness I've never been through before. Desperate times call for stupid measures. The more I'm emotionally recovering the more I'm reviewing the past 6 months. *As I can say is I can do better*.


And that is all we can ask. Everyone who is cheated on goes through HUGE amounts of emotional stress. Some scream at their spouses, some embrace depression, some climb into a bottle for a little while, some go on the internet to yell vitriol and hate at cheaters, ahem.

You climbed on top of a lot of somebodies to work out your angst.

The fact you are now questioning your actions means you are coming to a more even keel. Don't let up. Ask more questions.


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## WhiteRaven

JCD said:


> Ask more questions.


Could you help me out by posting a few of your own?


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## Blossom Leigh

WhiteRaven said:


> Before my marriage, I've been with 3 women, including my wife. After D, 50 women in 6 months- 46 ONSs, 4 FWBs. I'm 30.


This is not "oxford encyclopedia" level... 

imo...

met someone last year who hit 400 living life in the fast lane...


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## WhiteRaven

Blossom Leigh said:


> This is not "oxford encyclopedia" level...
> 
> imo...
> 
> met someone last year who hit 400 living life in the fast lane...


There's always someone out there who's either better or worse than you. 

Anyway, what's the world record? Just asking.


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## doubletrouble

Entropy3000 said:


> Why would anyone have sex with someone from Cleveland? OMG.


:rofl: :lol:

My first wife was from Gates Mills. lol lol What did I know?


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## JCD

WhiteRaven said:


> Could you help me out by posting a few of your own?


Okay, does the fact that you are on a MARRIAGE website in the LADIES section asking about if you are 'irredeemable' as a potential mate perhaps indicate to you that maybe you are not as closed off to the prospect of another LTR as you would like us to believe?


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## doubletrouble

WhiteRaven said:


> Where there is a will, there are relatives.


ftfy


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## WhiteRaven

JCD said:


> Okay, does the fact that you are on a MARRIAGE website in the LADIES section asking about if you are 'irredeemable' as a potential mate perhaps indicate to you that maybe you are not as closed off to the prospect of another LTR as you would like us to believe?


I guess so. Still no sure what I want, but I don't want the repeat performance of last 6 months. 

2 days ago, mom stumbled upon my 'mementos' in the attic. No one's been there in the last 2 years. I kept the panties of most of the women I slept with. While moving back to my parents' house, I tossed them in a suitcase and put in later in the attic. When mom found them, she was livid thinking I was crossdressing. Now that I told her the truth, she's in a dazed state, not talking to anyone much. She didn't deserve it. I feel really bad for her.


----------



## doubletrouble

I wonder how many "number" threads there will be in TAM after 10 years on the internet? 

Or if they will outnumber the penis threads.


----------



## WhiteRaven

doubletrouble said:


> I wonder how many "number" threads there will be in TAM after 10 years on the internet?
> 
> Or if they will outnumber the penis threads.


I hope the 'numbers' are more than what I posted. At least I can then say 'And you thought mine was too high'


----------



## JCD

WhiteRaven said:


> I guess so. Still no sure what I want, but I don't want the repeat performance of last 6 months.
> 
> 2 days ago, mom stumbled upon my 'mementos' in the attic. No one's been there in the last 2 years. I kept the panties of most of the women I slept with. While moving back to my parents' house, I tossed them in a suitcase and put in later in the attic. When mom found them, she was livid thinking I was crossdressing. Now that I told her the truth, she's in a dazed state, not talking to anyone much. She didn't deserve it. I feel really bad for her.


Look at the positives of this.

Now you are accountable to someone for your poor behavior.

While you were myopically looking at your actions ONLY from your own prism of pain without regard to how it looked from the outside, NOW you can see how it actually looks in your mom's face.

So, to take the burden off of her, tell mom that was a phase you went through and it is now over. You were upset but now you are finding your way and any support she can give you would be welcome.

Apologize.

When I have been tempted to cheat, I always recall having a hypothetical conversation with my son explaining how I blew up his world because I couldn't keep my penis in my pants.

It is one way I avoided doing worse things than I have done. Now you have mom.

Joy


----------



## Rowan

WhiteRaven said:


> 2 days ago, mom stumbled upon my 'mementos' in the attic. No one's been there in the last 2 years. I kept the panties of most of the women I slept with. While moving back to my parents' house, I tossed them in a suitcase and put in later in the attic. When mom found them, she was livid thinking I was crossdressing. Now that I told her the truth, she's in a dazed state, not talking to anyone much. She didn't deserve it. I feel really bad for her.


:slap:

Dude. Seriously?!?! You kept panties from all your conquests, then let your mother find them? Then you explained the _half a hundred _pairs of ladies panties in a suitcase in the attic as trophies from 6-months of one night stands? 

I, too, would be deeply disturbed to hear that from my son. Not so much just the number of women, but that he was keeping trophies. As a woman, there's just something about that that really ups the squick factor. As a mother, I think I might actually be happier to contemplate cross dressing as an explanation for my grown son's attic suitcase full of panties.


----------



## WhiteRaven

Rowan said:


> :slap:
> 
> Dude. Seriously?!?! You kept panties from all your conquests, then let your mother find them? Then you explained the _half a hundred _pairs of ladies panties in a suitcase in the attic as trophies from 6-months of one night stands?
> 
> I, too, would be deeply disturbed to hear that from my son. Not so much just the number of women, but that he was keeping trophies. As a woman, there's just something about that that really ups the squick factor. As a mother, I think I might actually be happier to contemplate cross dressing as an explanation for my grown son's attic suitcase full of panties.


I f*cked up. Badly.


----------



## doubletrouble

Rowan said:


> :slap:
> 
> Dude. Seriously?!?! You kept panties from all your conquests, then let your mother find them? Then you explained the _half a hundred _pairs of ladies panties in a suitcase in the attic as trophies from 6-months of one night stands?
> 
> I, too, would be deeply disturbed to hear that from my son. Not so much just the number of women, but that he was keeping trophies. As a woman, there's just something about that that really ups the squick factor. As a mother, I think I might actually be happier to contemplate cross dressing as an explanation for my grown son's attic suitcase full of panties.


IKR? I almost thought "T" but OP is a serious poster.


----------



## WhiteRaven

doubletrouble said:


> IKR? I almost thought "T" but OP is a serious poster.


I know it's 'T' worthy. Sorry. 

I have realized why my I kept them. They were symbolic to me. 'I can have anyone I want. I don't need you' mentality. A lot of rage I carried since my D was coz I felt I allowed the OM to break my family. I felt I couldn't keep my woman. Somewhere inside I still feel I must have made a mistake which broke us apart. I'm somehow accepting the fact that despite everything I still love my xWW. You can't flip a switch and make it go away. It stays, forever. It's easier to say that I hate her with all my heart. If someone asks 'why', I can give a lot of reasons. But if someone asks why do I still love her, I don't have a single reason, a single justification. I just love her. It just makes me feel I'm stupid.

I just wanted to feel like who I was again. I will have to accept it's not just my xWW who changed, it's I also who isn't the same anymore. 

So who's been where I'm now?


----------



## Caribbean Man

WhiteRaven said:


> I know it's 'T' worthy. Sorry.
> 
> I have realized why my I kept them. They were symbolic to me. 'I can have anyone I want. I don't need you' mentality. A lot of rage I carried since my D was coz I felt I allowed the OM to break my family. I felt I couldn't keep my woman. Somewhere inside I still feel I must have made a mistake which broke us apart. I'm somehow accepting the fact that despite everything I still love my xWW. You can't flip a switch and make it go away. It stays, forever. It's easier to say that I hate her with all my heart. If someone asks 'why', I can give a lot of reasons. But if someone asks why do I still love her, I don't have a single reason, a single justification. I just love her. It just makes me feel I'm stupid.
> 
> I just wanted to feel like who I was again. I will have to accept it's not just my xWW who changed, it's I also who isn't the same anymore.
> 
> So who's been where I'm now?


Well I haven't been divorced or suffered from the effects of infidelity, but before I got married I also used to keep those
" memoirs " from other women.
Completely forgot about them and my wife stumbled upon them , got very upset and destroyed everything. Panties, nude photos, love letters, cards , everything.

Didn't blame her, I understood how she felt.

What about individual counselling?
Are you willing to try that?
Do you have good male friends who you can depend on for support?

A friend of mine went through something similar to you when he walked in on his wife with another man.
He's a businessman ,and he self medicated with alcohol and high priced escorts.

Luckily we were able to help him sort out himself and feel better.

He eventually started seeing his much younger secretary and today they have a happy family together.


----------



## Csquare

WR,

You are a worthy person.

You will find your way.

Hang in there.


----------



## Anonymous07

I would be turned off by a guy who had a large number and would never date them. My husband has been with 3 women(including me). The 2 previous women were from long term relationships, so it never really bothered me. As for me, I have only ever been with my husband. I don't see sex as something to just give away to anyone(my personal values), so I could never be with a man who viewed sex differently.


----------



## Dollystanford

Dude seriously, if I'm going to wear suitable knickers for stripping in front of a brand new man there is no way I'm leaving them at his place!


----------



## Created2Write

WhiteRaven said:


> Before my marriage, I've been with 3 women, including my wife. After D, 50 women in 6 months- 46 ONSs, 4 FWBs. I'm 30.


50 in six months? Definitely too many for me. I wouldn't consider dating at all.


----------



## WhiteRaven

Caribbean Man said:


> What about individual counselling?
> Are you willing to try that?
> Do you have good male friends who you can depend on for support?


I'm having IC now. My counselor says making me talk about my feeling is like pulling teeth. We are making progress, albeit slowly.

I got few buddies. It's nice to spent time with them at the range, backyard barbeques or just sitting down together with a Ozzy Ale, when they aren't trying to pair me up with someone.


----------



## WhiteRaven

Dollystanford said:


> Dude seriously, if I'm going to wear suitable knickers for stripping in front of a brand new man there is no way I'm leaving them at his place!


Even if he gives you the puppy eyed look and says 'Smells delicious. I'm keeping them'?


----------



## Dollystanford

Puppy dog eyes on a ONS? Don't work on this stony little heart love


----------



## WhiteRaven

Dollystanford said:


> Puppy dog eyes on a ONS? Don't work on this stony little heart love


Pweeze? uppy:


----------



## Entropy3000

So this started about numbers ...

Which indicated self destructive behavior ... or at least flipped the coin to the other side of the issue. And thankfully we found out ... it was messed up for either gender. Yay!!!! 

Now it is a panty fetish and puppy dog eyes thread.

So please tell us you do not have a white van with puppies in the back ........


----------



## baedono

I think what is more important is how many of those relationships were flings and how many were with girlfriends and why those relationships ended. But either way, if it's a big number, I would definitely feel very very skeptical of dating a guy with that much sexual experience. I'd be worried about contracting diseases and if they were all with previous girlfriends, I'd be worried about why all those relationships failed. It can't always be because of the other person, there must be something concerning him too.


----------



## JCD

Dollystanford said:


> Dude seriously, if I'm going to wear suitable knickers for stripping in front of a brand new man there is no way I'm leaving them at his place!


Well, the problem with this is 'suitable' and 'planned.'

If, as stated, it is a ONS, these things are seldom mapped out.

Granted, the enormous squwick factor for a strange man asking for underwear...I'm surprised he got so many takers.

This makes me doubt him.


----------



## jb02157

A guy or girl like this wouldn't be serious about a relationship so it would be wise to find someone else.


----------



## WhiteRaven

baedono said:


> I think what is more important is how many of those relationships were flings and how many were with girlfriends and why those relationships ended. But either way, if it's a big number, I would definitely feel very very skeptical of dating a guy with that much sexual experience. I'd be worried about contracting diseases and if they were all with previous girlfriends, I'd be worried about why all those relationships failed. *It can't always be because of the other person, there must be something concerning him too.*


LTR 1 - 2 years. Started when I was 15 years. She moved to another state when her dad was convicted for child molestation.

LTR 2 - 1 1/2 years. Started when I was 19. She moved to Canada with her mom after she was raped. 

LTR 3 - 5 years. Started when I was 25. Ended in D.

Nothing emotional, only sex after D. 

You can say I'm jinxed.


----------



## WhiteRaven

jb02157 said:


> A guy or girl like this wouldn't be serious about a relationship so it would be wise to find someone else.


Thanks for the heads up.


----------



## WhiteRaven

JCD said:


> Well, the problem with this is 'suitable' and 'planned.'
> 
> If, as stated, it is a ONS, these things are seldom mapped out.
> 
> Granted, the enormous squwick factor for a strange man asking for underwear...I'm surprised he got so many takers.
> 
> This makes me doubt him.


Only 18 agreed.


----------



## over20

Entropy3000 said:


> So this started about numbers ...
> 
> Which indicated self destructive behavior ... or at least flipped the coin to the other side of the issue. And thankfully we found out ... it was messed up for either gender. Yay!!!!
> 
> Now it is a panty fetish and puppy dog eyes thread.
> 
> So please tell us you do not have a white van with puppies in the back ........


:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## Entropy3000

doubletrouble said:


> I wonder how many "number" threads there will be in TAM after 10 years on the internet?
> 
> Or if they will outnumber the penis threads.


Is there a thread that correlates penis size with number of partners?

There should be.


----------



## doubletrouble

Entropy3000 said:


> Is there a thread that correlates penis size with number of partners?
> 
> There should be.


Oh good lord please don't!!! :lol:


----------



## howdidthishappentome?

My number is not that far from yours. But it spanned 25 years, and I hoped to have a relationship - or did, for months or even years - with 95% of those people. The few ONS that I intended to be ONS were with completely mutual agreement and I still actually _liked those guys. 

What would fill me with uneasiness about dating you would be ... maybe it's old fashioned, but I'd imagine quite a few women believed you might be something better than a one night stand that cost them a pair of good panties. You were focused on one person - and still are - and rooted around inside other people as if they were open refrigerators. "reassure myself I could have anyone I want" ... people are not buffet items.

I don't mean to chastise you - or your number - I'm just saying I couldn't date someone who didn't treat everyone they came across and had such a personal, intimate moment with as a person._


----------



## WhiteRaven

howdidthishappentome? said:


> I'd imagine quite a few women believed you might be something better than a one night stand that cost them a pair of good panties. You were focused on one person - and still are - and rooted around inside other people as if they were open refrigerators. "reassure myself I could have anyone I want" ... people are not buffet items.


I have started thinking about it too. I was too focused on one to care about others. 



howdidthishappentome? said:


> I don't mean to chastise you - or your number - I'm just saying I couldn't date someone who didn't treat everyone they came across and had such a personal, intimate moment with _as a person._


Neither would I.

Thanks for your insight. It was helpful.


----------



## DoF

History is a good indicator of the future.

If the guy has been with 100s of women, chances are he is either a player or incapable of being in a long term relationship.


----------



## KeepingUpAppearances

My husband was my first lover. I always stayed away from guys who were known womanizers. (That was in my 20's) I would be more concerned about how a guy treated women than past partners.

My husband had ways more sexual experience than me when I met him even though he's a couple years younger. I knew he had previous girl friends and that didn't bother me. He cheated on me while we were in a serious relationship with several women. Then that number became more important.

I was stupid and in love and we ended up getting married. The women before we dated weren't important. The ones during dang sure did at least 6 that I know of not including the ones before he met me. He definitely had me fooled his excuse was he was young and selfish.


----------



## FizzBomb

How many is too many? Well if you have to ask that question, you know within yourself that it is too much.

You sound like a nice guy. Keep working on opening up to your IC. Stay away from sex for awhile. A long while. You know you're using it to take away your pain. It doesn't work though, does it? You're not respecting yourself or others. You get through the pain by talking about and feeling the pain. You do want to have another meaningful, loving and giving relationship in the future don't you? You need to do the work now.

I'm sorry for your pain. I would encourage you to try celibacy for a while - God knows you've had enough sex to last for a good while.


----------



## Deejo

Blossom Leigh said:


> This is not "oxford encyclopedia" level...
> 
> imo...
> 
> met someone last year who hit 400 living life in the fast lane...


I had posted previously that I worked with a woman who estimated she had over 400 partners. Bit of a wild streak in her youth.

Now, she has a family and owns her own tech consulting business. Great lady.


----------



## Blossom Leigh

This guy was seriously in the fast lane... lots of layers there I can't disclose... his life is like the ones we see in the movies. High profile guy who serves our country... that's all I can say.


----------



## WhiteRaven

3rd week without sex. Doing great.


----------



## WhiteRaven

Things are getting a little complicated. OMW is missing me physically. I have explained my situation and asked her to go forward with seeing other guys. But she's kinda adamant it has to be me. Any advise on how to handle the situation without being a jerk?


----------



## treyvion

over20 said:


> The ONS's number would bother me. Although I would understand that you just got divorced and maybe wanted to party a bit...If I was going to date you, then don't tell me the number and I wouldn't ask, it's none of my business, Just make sure you are clean of any STD"S..
> 
> In all honesty though I would def choose a man with a lower number of partners, it would show me that he viewed sex with a partner as a very loving act.



In light of all the sexless and cuckholded TAM members I consider this a success story. Obviously you know how to find a partner. You need to be safer and tone it down to one or minimal partners. 

Boy, you went on a rampage.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## FizzBomb

WhiteRaven said:


> Things are getting a little complicated. OMW is missing me physically. I have explained my situation and asked her to go forward with seeing other guys. But she's kinda adamant it has to be me. Any advise on how to handle the situation without being a jerk?


OMW, as in 'other man's wife?'


----------



## larry.gray

FizzBomb said:


> OMW, as in 'other man's wife?'


Yep. He had a fling with the OMW.


----------



## FizzBomb

Golden rule: stay away from other peoples spouses. Life is a lot simpler and less hurtful that way.

What happened to the celibacy gig? Finished already?


----------



## WhiteRaven

FizzBomb said:


> Golden rule: stay away from other peoples spouses. Life is a lot simpler and less hurtful that way.
> 
> What happened to the celibacy gig? Finished already?


OMW is separated and D would be finalized soon.

I'm still celibate and want to maintain it. OMW is not trying to understand I'm not interested in sex atm. How do I get the point across without hurting her?


----------



## FizzBomb

WhiteRaven said:


> Things are getting a little complicated. OMW is missing me physically. *I have explained my situation and asked her to go forward with seeing other guys.* But she's kinda adamant it has to be me. Any advise on how to handle the situation without being a jerk?


Well you have told her - you need to stick to your boundaries like glue. Don't waver. Also she needs to respect your boundaries. Stay firm. Keep working on your self. Let that be your focus right now. Do you have hobbies you can engage in to take your focus off this relationship?


----------



## WhiteRaven

FizzBomb said:


> Well you have told her - you need to stick to your boundaries like glue. Don't waver. Also she needs to respect your boundaries. Stay firm. Keep working on your self. Let that be your focus right now. Do you have hobbies you can engage in to take your focus off this relationship?


Yup. Hobbies and family is keeping me afloat.


----------



## carpenoctem

WhiteRaven said:


> *Before my marriage, I've been with 3 women, including my wife. After D, 50 women in 6 months- 46 ONSs, 4 FWBs*. I'm 30.




I f I were a woman, would I date you knowing that? I don’t know. May not like to start a probationary relationship as No 51.

*But I am a man, and I must say, ever since I read your post, I am considering divorce.*


----------



## carpenoctem

Deejo said:


> I had posted previously that* I worked with a woman who estimated she had over 400 partners. *Bit of a wild streak in her youth.
> 
> Now, she has a family and owns her own tech consulting business. Great lady.



400 sex partners? That's not sexual history.

*That's historic sex.*


----------



## Dad&Hubby

WhiteRaven said:


> I guess so. Still no sure what I want, but I don't want the repeat performance of last 6 months.
> 
> 2 days ago, mom stumbled upon my 'mementos' in the attic. No one's been there in the last 2 years. I kept the panties of most of the women I slept with. While moving back to my parents' house, I tossed them in a suitcase and put in later in the attic. When mom found them, she was livid thinking I was crossdressing. Now that I told her the truth, she's in a dazed state, not talking to anyone much. She didn't deserve it. I feel really bad for her.


I had (past tense is key) a friend in college where he played the field a lot. His number was in the 300's and he did the same. He got married and his wife found the "trophies".

I started distancing myself from him because I couldn't stand his attitude about women and sex. When we'd hang out, all he wanted to do was to pick up women. I actually wanted to do OTHER things as well. It got tedious.

Get yourself some hobbies or pursue some interests like learning to play a musical instrument or get into martial arts. Those two things will help you start to love yourself again.


----------



## WhiteRaven

intheory said:


> @Whiteraven
> But since you had two long term relationships prior to marriage; that's good (although I did note that those two women had been raped or molested; probably not a coincidence that you attract or are attracted to women who have been "damaged" that way. That's for you and your counselor to figure out).


My 1st gf wasn't molested. After her dad was convicted, her family moved away to cope better. My 2nd gf got raped while she was in a relationship with me.


----------



## WhiteRaven

carpenoctem said:


> 400 sex partners? That's not sexual history.
> 
> *That's historic sex.*


Now...... that's what I call humor.:smthumbup:


----------



## WhiteRaven

carpenoctem said:


> If I were a woman, would I date you knowing that? I don’t know. May not like to start a probationary relationship as No 51.
> 
> *But I am a man, and I must say, ever since I read your post, I am considering divorce.*


Welcome to the dark side.


----------



## WhiteRaven

Dad&Hubby said:


> Get yourself some hobbies or pursue some interests like learning to play a *musical instrument* or get into martial arts. Those two things will help you start to love yourself again.


Musical instrument? Meh. Nothing like the boom of a .308. I got guns. A lot of guns. 

I'm into Krav Maga now. Pretty intense workout.


----------



## carpenoctem

WhiteRaven said:


> *Musical instrument? Meh. Nothing like the boom of a .308. I got guns. A lot of guns.
> 
> I'm into Krav Maga now. Pretty intense workout.*



No musical instruments?

*Come on, Raven. You have been playing the organ so often.

(On last count, 50 successful concerts).*


----------



## WhiteRaven

carpenoctem said:


> No musical instruments?
> 
> *Come on, Raven. You have been playing the organ so often.
> 
> (On last count, 50 successful concerts).*


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, Russel Peters- these guys got nothing on you bro:smthumbup:


----------



## WhiteRaven

4th week gone and still celibate. Not bad Raven, not bad.:smthumbup:


----------



## lucyloo

I don't think you can put a number on what is too many. 10 might be too many for plenty of people, 10 might be considered insignificant by some!

If you're having to question it, it's likely that his number is too many for you! Promiscuous people generally don't change...unless you consider an open relationship or swinging or something...


----------



## Csquare

WR,

When you can find a way to be happy on your own, by yourself, you've got it made. Much, much easier to find a mate who can complement under those circumstances, rather than feeling empty alone and trying to find someone to fill the vacuum.

Celibacy is freeing that way. You have the space to explore who you are, what lights your fire, what kind of people you enjoy friendships with. Time for introspection. Being your own best friend.


----------



## carpenoctem

WhiteRaven said:


> *4th week gone and still celibate. Not bad Raven, not bad*.:smthumbup:




*Pope Benedict resigned (last month?), at 85.
Reason (sic): he no more had the strength / energy to carry out his duties. 

Hugh Hefner, 86, married his 26-year old girlfriend a few months ago.

Enough said, about the advantages of celibacy.*


----------



## CuddleBug

WhiteRaven said:


> Say a guy really likes you. His sexual history if written down would rival the size of Oxford Encyclopedia. Would you consider a relationship with him? How many is too many?



Everyone is so different about this.

For myself, I have no issues if Mrs.CuddleBug had a few guys before me. Just not 10+ guys......

And Mrs.CuddleBug has no issues if I had a few ladies before I met her. Just not 10+ ladies......

Neither of us would of married each other if we really got around. Having some minimal experiences is fine but being around the block many times is so not cool in our books. Very used and just not cool.

Would I of dated and married a woman who slept with 20+ guys? NO. To me, she got around way too much and is too broken in. Giving herself away like that is not cool. And I know Mrs.CuddleBug would of felt the same way if she was dating another guy who slept with 20+ ladies.

Imagine all the dormant STD's.......

Having all that sex as trophies....not cool.


----------



## See_Listen_Love

lucyloo said:


> I don't think you can put a number on what is too many. 10 might be too many for plenty of people, 10 might be considered insignificant by some!
> 
> If you're having to question it, it's likely that his number is too many for you! Promiscuous people generally don't change...unless you consider an open relationship or swinging or something...


I expect there is a positive correlation of the number of sexual partners and the divorce rate of people.

I think cheating is much easier if you have had multiple partners, for instance. 

I would like to see some statistics on that.


----------



## Thor

See_Listen_Love said:


> I expect there is a positive correlation of the number of sexual partners and the divorce rate of people.
> 
> I think cheating is much easier if you have had multiple partners, for instance.
> 
> I would like to see some statistics on that.


One of our members here used to post a chart with those statistics. IIRC, more than ~5 partners before marriage was the tipping point for infidelity and/or divorce. 5 may not be exactly correct, but it was in that low range.

Such stats would only be reliable for younger people and first marriages. Also I think there would be a big time lag to catch up to societal changes. For example, in my generation most women married younger than they do today, and I bet most women had 5 or fewer sex partners before marriage. Today the average number of partners for a woman prior to her first wedding is probably significantly higher.

Still, the correlation probably does still apply. There is a reason people fall outside of the 1 Sigma area of the normal curve, and those reasons likely are not helpful to long term fidelity or long term marriage.


----------



## treyvion

CuddleBug said:


> Everyone is so different about this.
> 
> For myself, I have no issues if Mrs.CuddleBug had a few guys before me. Just not 10+ guys......
> 
> And Mrs.CuddleBug has no issues if I had a few ladies before I met her. Just not 10+ ladies......
> 
> Neither of us would of married each other if we really got around. Having some minimal experiences is fine but being around the block many times is so not cool in our books. Very used and just not cool.
> 
> Would I of dated and married a woman who slept with 20+ guys? NO. To me, she got around way too much and is too broken in. Giving herself away like that is not cool. And I know Mrs.CuddleBug would of felt the same way if she was dating another guy who slept with 20+ ladies.
> 
> Imagine all the dormant STD's.......
> 
> Having all that sex as trophies....not cool.


Well you know a good catchers mitt requires some "breaking in".


----------



## Q tip

Thoughts

HPV (there are hundreds of types) Herpes, Aids, Hepatitis, Gon. Syph. Need I go on? 

You'd just be #51 and a blood test. Maybe some treatment. 

No, he's not the type of person you'd be interested in.

Next...


----------



## over20

treyvion said:


> Well you know a good catchers mitt requires some "breaking in".


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


----------



## DoF

Long list = indicator of poor long term relationship material

History is a great indicator of the future

STD would be a HUGE concern.....not sure if I would even kiss without it. But it would never go that far due to their history. I just wouldn't take my chances with such person.

PS. I'm a man....so this applies to women as well.


----------



## SurpriseMyself

50 in 6 months is like an addict on a binge. Maybe the right woman could look past this, but not if it's a recent activity. If a guy told me he's just coming off a 6 month bender of any kind--sex, alcohol, drugs--I would NOT date him. But this is only a recent pattern and one I think any level-headed person would agree you need to stop. 

Speaking for myself only, it would take the passage of years and serious work on your part before I would consider you even date-able. Not sure if I ever could. But you do need to see this as a problem and address it or you will paint yourself into a corner.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DoF

ebp123 said:


> 50 in 6 months is like an addict on a binge.


If that's the case than he is just painting pretty pictures/bragging.

You know what they say about those that brag right? 

Besides, 50 in 6 months is just unrealistic. Come on now. We are talking new woman every 3-4 days.

I call complete BS.


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## SurpriseMyself

DoF said:


> If that's the case than he is just painting pretty pictures/bragging.
> 
> You know what they say about those that brag right?
> 
> Besides, 50 in 6 months is just unrealistic. Come on now. We are talking new woman every 3-4 days.
> 
> I call complete BS.


Certainly possible. Is he a liar, a sex addict, or just trolling?!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SurpriseMyself

This guy is a prime example of why I would never have a ONS.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DoF

ebp123 said:


> Certainly possible. Is he a liar, a sex addict, or just trolling?!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Chances are, all of the above.....and some.

If you want a fling go nuts, just protect yourself.

If you want LTR.......stay away


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## Angela Goodnight

WhiteRaven said:


> Say a guy really likes you. His sexual history if written down would rival the size of Oxford Encyclopedia. Would you consider a relationship with him? How many is too many?


We have just blogged on this on our blog today. I won't put a link, you'll have to search Angela Goodnight Blog. The question came up on another forum and we've replied. I was 26 partners and Peter, who also runs our blog was 100+, but most of them were during London orgies in the early seventies. 

:smthumbup:


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## treyvion

Angela Goodnight said:


> We have just blogged on this on our blog today. I won't put a link, you'll have to search Angela Goodnight Blog. The question came up on another forum and we've replied. I was 26 partners and Peter, who also runs our blog was 100+, but most of them were during London orgies in the early seventies.
> 
> :smthumbup:


to the guy who went on a 50 person in 6 months TEAR after getting divorced, it might not be the "safest" thing to do or most "moral" thing to do, but it would be a hell of a confidence booster.

The confidence from that "tear" would last a couple of years even if the supply was diminished to nothing, because he KNEW that he could do it and it's why he did.

I would not mind having the confidendce once again to know I could do it if I wanted to in almost any environment I walked in.


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## memyselfandi

I guess at my age (51)..I can't raise any eyebrows. As long as my hubby is faithful, at this point, that's all that matters. 

Besides..a little experience can't hurt can it??


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