# Resentment is poisoning my relationship...



## Sweetiepie27 (Feb 23, 2008)

I have been married for almost 3 years, and it has been great except for a few bumps here and there (my husband suffers from social anxiety and ocassional depression). 6 months ago, we decided we were ready for a baby, so I stopped taking birth control in order to get pregnant. After 3 months and no luck, my husband started to get anxious. No big deal, I thought. Then, I found medication for anxiety and severe depression that he never told me about. I confronted him about it, and he said he just can't get through the day without it. I called my doctor and he said I can't get pregnant because of my husband taking those drugs. He said we would have great chances to have a sick child because conception while taking those drugs is not a good idea.

I feel a lot resentment because he never shared how he felt and he lied about taking that medication. He refuses to get therapy to cope with his problems, and my patience is running out. I no longer want a baby, to the point that I do not want to have a child ever! He has become more withdrawn and he spends most of the time while he is at home playing with the computer. I am now daydreaming of meeting someone else and move out. I am scared. I don't know if this can be fixed or if I should just walk away. Please help.


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## tater03 (Jun 29, 2007)

If he will not get counseling is there another medication that he can take that would not effect a pregnancy? Also it is not right that he lied but could it just be because he is actually afraid to go off of it and thought that you would tell him he has to? I would definently talk to a doctor about other options though for his anxiety.


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## berlinlife06 (Dec 26, 2007)

Ok, this seems strange to me. If he is getting that kind of medication, then it has to be prescriptions. So what kind of doctor is giving him this prescribed drugs without counseling??? As far as I know, those kinds of medications have to be supervised by the doctor that prescribed them! He is probably a bigger lier than you think.


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## A Good Husband (Jan 1, 2008)

I don't know if I would jump right into calling your husband a liar, but he's obviously very unhappy. 

I often advise people here that if their spouse won't speak to them about a certain issue, it might be a good idea to write a heartfelt letter to him or her.

Explain to them how their behavior made you feel (avoid using judgement statements like "you made me" or "your fault" but instead say things like "when you....then I feel/felt/found), and explain why their behavior made you feel that way. Ask them to talk to you about it when they are ready, but also explain that you can't wait forever.

I would also advise seeking the Lord in prayer. That always helps me.


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## Sweetiepie27 (Feb 23, 2008)

berlinlife06 said:


> Ok, this seems strange to me. If he is getting that kind of medication, then it has to be prescriptions. So what kind of doctor is giving him this prescribed drugs without counseling??? As far as I know, those kinds of medications have to be supervised by the doctor that prescribed them! He is probably a bigger lier than you think.


The medication was prescribed by a doctor, but neither the doctor nor my husband said a word about it. When my husband said to the doctor we were trying to get pregnant he said it was OK. But to the best of my knowledge, he has not offered any counseling. When I called MY doctor and shared the news, he seemed surprised to find out my husband was taking those meds and warned me about the possible birth defects a child can have if he's conceived while either parent is on the drug.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Okay so your husband is depressed and needs medication which he is on but you want him off the medication and instead taking counciling which will do less for "anxiety and severe depression" also known as bipolar which requires medication. Some how this is his fault because he has a disability? Further because you can not be understanding of his problem you dream of moving on/cheating?

I think you need to have a better talk with your husband and the both of you need to talk to his MD if you once again try to have kids.

draconis


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## Immortalone (Mar 5, 2008)

My ex-wife suffered from depression among other things. It was verry hard on the familey and I have to admit there were times I was not verry understanding. The problem with depression is there is no physical thing to see, to blame it on. That alone makes it hard on the person that does not have it to deal with it. It took her years to come out of it and when she did we talked along time so she could help me understand what she was going through. She summend it up in a way that made since.

As she told me it was like living inside a glass bubble. You could see everything going on around you. The world was moving, birds were chirping and people were laughing. She wanted to join that world but she could not get past the wall. Being inside the bubble felt to safe and everything else seamed to scary.

I guess what I'm saying is try to be more understanding. Not telling you about the meds could have been simple as him viewing it as one more failure in his life, one more thing that he could not control. That is not easy for any man especialy a man that is suffering from depression.

Have some fun seeing how women and men can view simple things diffrently. Enjoy a laugh over it at She's Right - He's Right


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## reddevilmary (Mar 3, 2008)

Until your husband addresses his issues and is in a 'better place' so to speak, I don't think making babies together is going to help anything, and in fact would be very unfair to the baby.....


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