# I haven't Confronted my wife yet



## rushzappafan (Aug 15, 2012)

It has been 3 days after official confirmation that she has been cheating (through her facebook chat) and I still haven't confronted her.

Why? For the past four months I have been monitoring her Mac with aobo software after I read a text message to her friend on her iphone telling her friend that she had a hot chat with 'flirty boy' on facebook.
Sure enough, she has had a long series of chats that included him saying he wants to eat her peach and joking about toys and how she likes big ones.

Now she lost her manager job (no fault) last year and I know she has been bored at home. She also takes anti- depressants as she had a total meltdown 6 years ago and had been a miserable person prior to that (I stuck it out for our kids as I didn't want to leave them with her). I have been a more than equal parent and have done more than half the house hold chores despite being the most employed person over the years.
Since the meltdown she has been a different person, and extrovert rather than an introvert, we now have lots of friends and a very active social life. We are both fitness buffs and are in excellent health.

So Rather than letting her know I was monitoring her computer, I decided to see how far she would take it, because I need to know after 23 years what kind of person I truly married. I have never come remotely close to cheating. If she broke it off or just flirted, I would be ok with it. Other red flag. She has kept a small container of condoms in her purse that were suppose to be given to her friend (I have access to free birth control). The condoms have cheeky sayings on them and 4 fit a round container like a compact makeup container. I found them looking for a pen, and over the last 4 months they have been transferred to 4 different purses including on tiny purse. Now I know she would have told me she was keeping them for her best friend who is single, so I have been content to let it ride as long as none go missing.

But at the end of July,on Facebook she started suggesting she drop by his place ( the ****ing loser lost his licence and lives out in the country). Two days later, I got fairly drunk at a social (I started drinking more since this started) and one of her friends started chirping at me that I wasn't spending enough time with my wife at the social and I lost it on her, saying that my wife was cheating and when my wife walked up, let her have it about this guy. I told her I read their chat by accident when she left her computer and it was open.

She basically told me I was silly and it was harmless flirting and I was an ******* for ruining the social. Unfortunately that night when we arrived home, we were hit with devastating news involving our oldest teen and we focused the next week on the crisis. My wife basically felt the matter between us was resolved (I was wrong, she was right).

So this Thursday I am out of the city for the night (I am a CEO of a fairly large organization) and I got back Friday afternoon and decided to check the keylogger. Turns out that she was batching it because the 2 boys were working, and while making dinner was chatting with him. She then offers to bring the dinner to his house. That chat ended at 6:30pm. The next chat was Friday morning with her saying she forgot her glasses at his house and "I guess we are now friends with benefits" with a winking smiley face. Since she and her girlfriends were down at the dock I checked her purse and one condom is now missing. That day more friends came over and the next day two days involved a charity event so I have held off on confronting her. By this time my pulse has settled down.
But now I am wondering if I should let her know I know, which will trigger a divorce or wait till I have a plan for the kids. The oldest heads off to university but the youngest has 3 more years. I get along with my wife, we have similar interests and sex which is about once a week to twice a week has actually gotten better - she does things now she hasn't done in 20 years. She is 48, perimenopausal and says she is horny as hell. She is extremely fit and has an butt to die for. So part of me wants to continue the marriage, let her have her friend with benefits until the kids are gone. I also sometimes want to kick the cheating #*! to the curb. I know the boys will want to live with me, so I won't be the one moving. But the economic cost be great, right at the same time the kids are being expensive, plus teen years are hard enough without a divorce.
I am so torn right now. I feel guilty because I am half turned on by the thought of her having sex, but also hurt that she has decided risk our marriage to sleep with this guy, expecially after I confronted her about him.
So far I have kept my emotions under control and we had some good laughs yesterday evening and had sex. I think I can pull it off because it is liberating knowing I can pull the plug at anytime with no guilt what so ever. 
So there you have it. It does feel good to get this off my chest. I am curious if anyone else has ignored an affair until the timing was rightt?


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## MAKINGSENSEOFIT2 (Aug 6, 2012)

So let me make sure I have this right. You will put up with your wife banging other guys for the next few years? I mean if it's some turn on you have than maybe you should ask to be included. Short of that why would you risk continuing having sex with her when you know she's having sex with other guys?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Your kids are old enough to understand what's going on, and to decide on the morality of the situation. Make this a teaching issue for them. Guide or show them the proper way to deal with this.

Do not use your kids as the excuse to stay with the wife.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

What was the point of not trying to stop the affair before it escalated? The only point I would see is that one was ready to divorce if she crossed the line.

So right now s it stands with just one post from the OP this sounds like one of those cuckold / hot wife stories.

One real flaw of this story is that she would use a condom. How could one could on this?


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## jnj express (Mar 28, 2011)

Hey you do whatever you want---only one person walks in your shoes---and that is you

I would suggest one thing tho---get hard copies of all her chats, e-mails, and anything else that incriminates her

Back to you---how much self-respect do you have for yourself??????

Also condom, or not---you better get some STD, testing going---once again it is your life, if you don't care that your wife is getting it on with other men---then you really have nothing to complain about do you?????


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Okay my question is why in the hell didn't you end this after the social? 

Anyway moving on, since that is the past, the situation you are in now. I will tell you right here an now you don't wanna just be second best. I see things ending violently if you just bottle it up. 

First thing is first. 
Expose, you need to expose this to anyone and everyone you know. You think you know. If the OM is married contact his wife. You do this to make living in the fantasy world she is in harder to stay in.

AS soon as you expose you need ask her to leave the home. Tell her to go stay with friends or whomever. "do this to clear your head and to send the clear message this A will not be tolerated."

Cut off all finances and let her see what life is like with out the cuckold paying the bills. (again you are sending a message with actions. Words mean nothing to your wife right now.)

Read the newbie section and read "the 180" and follow this to the T. You need to be thinking about you right now. It is up to you whether or not you take her back. Don't let her sucker you in with blameshifting and gaslighting.
You are responsible for your part in the marriage breakdown. You are not responsible for her sleeping with another man. (repeat this to yourself) 
Hell half of the marriage crap she will come up with can easily be attributed to the A. 

Don't believe another word she says, Cheaters will lie, lie, LIE, until they have no way out. Then comes the trickle truth where the truth comes out one snippet at a time. You need to continue from this point forward as your wife is a stranger that just screwed you over. 

Also contact a lawyer and have d papers drawn up (even if it is for dramatic effect). 

You are at war now. You are at war with a fantasy land your W and the OM have created. The one where you are a husband to her kids while she gets no strings attached fun on the side. (cake eaters) 
The only way you will kill this fantasy is to inject large amounts of reality into it. Eventually this fantasy will collapse once she realizes she is out in the cold.

Then if she says she wants to come back write out a list of things that have to be completed in order for her to be allowed back into your life.

IE
1) NC in any way shape or form with OM. Also with anyone that in anyway encouraged, aided, or supported her actions (toxic friends)
2) Access to any and all forms of communication (full transparency)
3) Admitting the whole truth and coming clean
4) Marriage and individual counciling.

Keep us updated and we will give you support my friend. Good luck.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Change the brand of condoms in her purse.

Oh, and start acting like her husband and less like James Bond, perhaps?

If you play out enough rope to let someone hang, you run the risk of tripping yourself up on it.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

Take early retirement and turn her out to bring in some extra money. She's behaving like a H*, so see if she can do YOU any good.


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## dwaynewilliams (Feb 1, 2010)

You can't fix things unless you start addressing the issue. You need to talk to her about it.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

I ignored my wifes 1st affair, it was until #20 that I confronted her.

My point is this will snow ball, she will get tired of the kid and most likely he won't understand the terms of the relationship and will want to get closer,but your wife will break it off.

Then some one else will come a long and it will alll be good for your wife and then again the boytoy will want to get close....not understanding the game and your wife will dump him.

Then....after a few affairs that last between a week to a month your wife will find it easier to just do the ONS (one night stand) its easier then breaking boytoy after boytoys poor little hearts.

Hell, some were down the road she will find a guy maybe a guy closer to her own age that really understands the score and will have this on again off again affair that will last for at least 6 month, but the man is married and your wife will break that one off, and go back to the ONS.

Soon she will have such a crap self esteem about her self she will just stop caring at this point she will have a rotation going...even some of the old boytoys will have found a commited relationship but just broke up and will use your wife for a booty call ...by this time it won't matter as for as your wife is concerned, by this time she believes you have to know what is going on and the value you have for each other is gone.

Geez I just reposted my original thread from 2 years ago!!!!


Anyway go ahead and but your head in the sand, the both of you won't like what you find when you do pull it out years from now.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

hookares said:


> Take early retirement and turn her out to bring in some extra money. She's behaving like a H*, so see if she can do YOU any good.


I did that and it didn't turn out so well, my wife met alot of toxic friend that only made it worse. 
Granted she wasn't doing tricks but the live video/chat was just coming out in the late 90's and we made some good dough.

Oh your we're kidding my bad!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

@ Entropy3000, Believe it or not there are a few cheaters that use condums....yes I know hard to believe, but all the same it can happen 

The scary part is when OP WW runs out, will she have the nerve to turn the sex down once she runs out. Maybe its just a pregnecy thing and then I quess there are 2 other orifices...


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

the guy said:


> @ Entropy3000, Believe it or not there are a few cheaters that use condums....yes I know hard to believe, but all the same it can happen
> 
> The scary part is when OP WW runs out, will she have the nerve to turn the sex down once she runs out. Maybe its just a pregnecy thing and then I quess there are 2 other orifices...


Oh I believe you. But he was counting on the condoms to tell him when she had sex. I am just saying that is not a reliable method. I agree that when they start going away it is a pretty good indicator of a positve but not seeing them go away does not mean she is not having sex. That was my only point.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Entropy3000 said:


> What was the point of not trying to stop the affair before it escalated? The only point I would see is that one was ready to divorce if she crossed the line.
> 
> So right now s it stands with just one post from the OP this sounds like one of those cuckold / hot wife stories.
> 
> One real flaw of this story is that she would use a condom. How could one could on this?


She only used a condom for round one.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Good point E-

I think there are alot of guy out there that made the choice to look the other way and in those cases we see guys like 8yearscheating and other that...even me....that have had enough after the affairs take on a second life of there own and the 1st life with husband and kids starts to take effect and the betrayed husband no longer reaps any real reward but suffers more and more.

We here at TAM can help OP fight the affair, but we need to convince him that its worth facing the issue. The whole "head in the sand" deal it always goes bad in the long run....especially years from now!


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## mahike (Aug 16, 2011)

Wow what is wrong with you. All for the sake of the status quo. OK read up on the 180. Expose the Affar to her family your and the boys. And blow the doors off the POSM.

So three years go by boys are gone and it is just you and the **** wife what then?

Most everyone on here will confirm it most A's go bare back and yoiu are having sex with her. How about STD's

Look around this site and then man up


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## jameskimp (May 8, 2012)

Talk about being a DOORMAT. The way you're going, I wouldn't be surprised if you have to refill those condoms in her purse. 

Expose! You might be hesitant to live this fantasy but trust me, it will eat at you until you can function no more. No one deserves a cheating wife but sometimes that's just the way it happens.

Stand up for yourself and roll some punches.


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

rushzappafan said:


> But now I am wondering if I should let her know I know, which will trigger a divorce or wait till I have a plan for the kids. The oldest heads off to university but the youngest has 3 more years.
> 
> She is 48, perimenopausal and says she is horny as hell. She is extremely fit and has an butt to die for. So part of me wants to continue the marriage, let her have her friend with benefits until the kids are gone. I also sometimes want to kick the cheating #*! to the curb. I know the boys will want to live with me, so I won't be the one moving. But the economic cost be great, right at the same time the kids are being expensive, plus teen years are hard enough without a divorce.
> 
> So far I have kept my emotions under control and we had some good laughs yesterday evening and had sex. I think I can pull it off because it is liberating


You want to know why your plan won't work?

Because it's crazy.

You're just going to live a lie with this woman while another guy is screwing her, because you don't yet have a plan for the kids and because she's got a great ass?

I'm thinking you just can't accept your marriage is over and you're afraid of what will happen in a divorce.. relocating, finances, access to the kids, etc.

I get it, I really do.

You gotta march down to an attorneys office, file the papers, and let the chips fall where they may.

Anything less is completely disrespecting yourself as a person. not to mention that your anger and resentment is going to build.

To the boiling point. Just like it did when you got drunk at the party and spilled the beans after being so cool for so long.

Your plan will never work.

Give it up, give HER up.

Or give her the ultimatum that he's gone or you're gone. Forget about "proving the affair" you don't have to prove anything to her, you know the truth and so does she.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

rushzappafan said:


> It has been 3 days after official confirmation that she has been cheating (through her facebook chat) and I still haven't confronted her.
> 
> Why? For the past four months I have been monitoring her Mac with aobo software after I read a text message to her friend on her iphone telling her friend that she had a hot chat with 'flirty boy' on facebook.
> 
> ...


Plenty of people ignore the affair until the timing is right. Set yourself up financially and legally, use your wife for sex, detach from her emotionally, and when you have all your ducks in a row and your wife is all used up, dump her. I think ususally the people who ignore the affair do so because they have no other decent options - they are financially strapped or jobless, have young children they are responsible for, and have no viable option for immediately ending the marriage. That is not your position, but you could still do it.

She cheats on you, you get your silent revenge by using her as bad or worse as she's using you.

Sounds easy if you are indifferent to her, but I don't know what kind of emotional or psychological toll it will take on you. You will be living a lie. Not too hard to do short term, but what effect will it have on you long term? You seem OK with it now, but it might change you as a person in ways that you don't like. What would your sons think if they suspected or found out what was going on?

From the way you worded your post regarding divorce, you believe confronting your wife would lead to a divorce - not sure if she would be the one who would want out, you would, or both of you.


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## Falene (Dec 31, 2011)

You need to know I would not be capable of keeping my spouse's affair to myself. I think I lasted all of five minutes. lol

I also wonder if you are going to be able to as well. With your increase in drinking the possibility of your knowing may come out in a very bad way. It could cause your children great harm if it were to blow up.

In addition, it just isn't healthy both mentally and physically. I think you could give yourself a stroke or something.

After reading your post, I would suggest doing a strong 180 on her, divulging what it is you do know and let her know you aren't going anywhere. 

Every person's situation is different. I have read here that many couple do continue living in the same house after DDay until they are able to split up. Some work it out. Some don't.

You need to take good care of yourself and I am not sure keeping that secret is the way to do it. You also need to get tested for STDs. As I am sure you know, condoms do not protect against all STDs and they can fail.

Good luck to you Rush!


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## donders (May 9, 2012)

Will_Kane said:


> Sounds easy if you are indifferent to her, but I don't know what kind of emotional or psychological toll it will take on you. You will be living a lie. Not too hard to do short term, but what effect will it have on you long term?


^^ This is key.

Do you love this woman? If not, then sure, maybe you can treat her as an object to be used and screwed.

But if you've got the emotional attachment, you can't just sever it, if people could do that there wouldn't be a need for relationship boards, or therapists, or psych meds.

Your plan might look great on paper but it's just not practical unless you really don't give a crap about her.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Because you are no longer in love with your wife doesn't mean you shouldn't be a good father. What would a good father do? What's the real reason you let her take it physical?

Also, it just doesn't seem to be that easy being a cuckold after a while. Are you sure your are going to like that?


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## rushzappafan (Aug 15, 2012)

I don't understand. I have to admit I am a odd duck. I am a survivor of a homicide event by my mother and a murder suicide by my father. I am a highly successful executive. I do suspect I may have physchopathic tendencies. I can detach myself from emotional events. I should be dead but stupid luck due to a weak bladder led a friend to find me hanging at age 16.
I know I am weird. I love my boys to the point I will die for them. I faced death so many times as a child that I don't fear it. Sorry for rambling but you need to now that I can be totally emotionally detached. I have never cried in my life,even at my mom's internment.
I truly took my role as a husband and father as my mission. I did more than most men ever did. I never orgasmed before my wife unless she told me to. I spend 5k + every year on jewelery for her. 
I know I deserve the critisism you are doling out - I am a freak and you are right. I should kick her to the curb. But my boys depend on us as their safe place to fall. I can suck up the pain until they are safe.


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## rushzappafan (Aug 15, 2012)

I have a dying brother, an ill 15 year old and my oldest stabbed someone. I just can not handled a divorce. I am barely holding on.


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

rushzappafan said:


> I don't understand. I have to admit I am a odd duck. I am a survivor of a homicide event by my mother and a murder suicide by my father. I am a highly successful executive. I do suspect I may have physchopathic tendencies. I can detach myself from emotional events. I should be dead but stupid luck due to a weak bladder led a friend to find me hanging at age 16.
> I know I am weird. I love my boys to the point I will die for them. I faced death so many times as a child that I don't fear it. Sorry for rambling but you need to now that I can be totally emotionally detached. I have never cried in my life,even at my mom's internment.
> I truly took my role as a husband and father as my mission. I did more than most men ever did. I never orgasmed before my wife unless she told me to. I spend 5k + every year on jewelery for her.
> I know I deserve the critisism you are doling out - I am a freak and you are right. I should kick her to the curb. But my boys depend on us as their safe place to fall. I can suck up the pain until they are safe.



So if you dont mind asking. If you seem to be cool with this set up. Why are you posting here? What is it we can help you with?


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## MAKINGSENSEOFIT2 (Aug 6, 2012)

I'm not sure what help or advice you're looking for here. Honestly you have some massive problems that nobody here is equipped to help you with.


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

rushzappafan said:


> I have a dying brother, an ill 15 year old and my oldest stabbed someone. I just can not handled a divorce. I am barely holding on.


You know Rush, if all this is going on in your life then your wayward wife is a pretty bad person for sleeping with another man.


Why would she add any more hurt to your life right now.

Why does she have so little respect for you , your marriage, your children and herself.

If you cannot handle a divorce right now then do this.

Pack her a bag. Tell her you are taking her on a trip. Drive to the OM's house and drop her off. 

Tell her not to come home until she can act like a responsible adult and loving wife/mother. Tell her responsible does not mean her lover wears one of her condoms.

Then drive away and go home.

Who knows, she just might come back home to you and your boys.

But she does not have your back Rush.....

HM64


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You can still expose and demand she end the affair without it going to a D.

If you're willing to live with her cheating for years to come, it sounds like you'd be willing to stay with her if she stopped cheating.

So why are you afraid to expose the affair and to demand she stop cheating?

Also you can fully cut her off from all access to money.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Then confront her. She doesn't have to know how opposed to divorce you are. Most importantly expose the OM and stop it on his end. Let him know you won't tolerate any interference in your family.


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## NornIron7 (Jul 5, 2012)

To put in my two cents worth.

Please confront her for your own good. I didn't confront my wife for nearly four months and it literally nearly drove me insane. It was the biggest and worst mistake I made.

I will never make that mistake again. Hopefully never in the same situation but if I am it will be all over in 10 seconds.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

If you are a CEO of big company - you know not to put up with someone lying and cheating you. You wouldn't keep an employee who was committing fraud would you?

Right now you know she has had sex with him. 

Blow him and her out of the land of secrecy with exposure and confrontation. Put the fear of god and you into both of them.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

rushzappafan said:


> I don't understand. I have to admit I am a odd duck. *I am a survivor of a homicide* event by my mother and a murder suicide by my father. *I am a highly successful executive*. I do suspect I may have physchopathic tendencies. I can detach myself from emotional events. I should be dead but stupid luck due to a weak bladder led a friend to find me hanging at age 16.
> I know I am weird. *I love my boys* to the point I will die for them. *I faced death so many times* as a child that I don't fear it. Sorry for rambling but you need to now that I can be totally emotionally detached. I have never cried in my life,even at my mom's internment.
> I truly took my role as a husband and father as my mission. *I did more than most men ever did*. I never orgasmed before my wife unless she told me to. I spend 5k + every year on jewelery for her.
> I know I deserve the critisism you are doling out - I am a freak and you are right. I should kick her to the curb. But my boys depend on us as their safe place to fall. I can suck up the pain until they are safe.


And so what? 

Although you have faced death many times, yet you are not strong enough to man up, put your foot down and tell your wife to stop cheating!


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## theroad (Feb 20, 2012)

Unbelieveable. A BH willing to allow an OM to keep banging his WW.

There is no justification. To allow this affair to continue will be teaching your sons to allow their future spouses to do the same to them.

Plus they will catch on sooner or later cause the more a WW gets away with the sloppier they are at hiding their affair.


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## Posse (Jan 30, 2012)

rushzappafan said:


> I am a highly successful executive.


Everything else you wrote in your post is a list of excuses so you can try to avoid facing reality head on.

As a CEO, if you discovered you had an employee who was secretly sharing your company's financial information with a competitor, what would you do?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

And I thought I was the only one wired differently around here. Believe it or not I can relate to this thread, and how easy it is to emotionaly detach (its how I was brought up), you kind of have to if you want to bury your head in the sand....I'm just saying you won't like what you find years down the road when you pull your head out.

Divorce can be used as a tactic to let your WW know you care enough in not allowing this behavior to continue , it can always be withdrawn, even if you don't want to to this kind of risk you should take some kind of action.

Man I've been there and I know how it turns out in the end.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

Frank umm your story reminds me of Dexter.

Anyway sounds like you need lots of IC. LOTS Of it. 
Okay then since you have no emotions tied up in this then follow our advice. It should be easy as pie without all the emotional ties that draw people into rug sweeping.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

rushzappafan said:


> It has been 3 days after official confirmation that she has been cheating (through her facebook chat) and I still haven't confronted her.
> 
> Why? For the past four months I have been monitoring her Mac with aobo software after I read a text message to her friend on her iphone telling her friend that she had a hot chat with 'flirty boy' on facebook.
> Sure enough, she has had a long series of chats that included him saying he wants to eat her peach and joking about toys and how she likes big ones.
> ...


I have raised teens & it is very HARD so I do understand that you want to keep your family together until they are grown & off to college or out of the family home. I don't think you are crazy.

What I don't understand is why you are afraid to tell your wife that you know all about her affair? Leave you? Leave your children? A happy family is only your fantasy right now. Do you get that?

Sure many people live quietly knowing about affairs & don't want "to rock the boat" so there you have it if that is what you want....so then why are you here again?


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## rushzappafan (Aug 15, 2012)

Thank you all for your posts. I know I need to confront her. I will bring my oldest to university first in less than two weeks (3day drive).
It is so hard. The last few years have been so much fun, we have lots of mutual friends. Most through her best friend. I have to divorce her when I confront her, I can't live with a cheater. I am so afraid for my boys because our home has been safe and quiet. The lake home will have to be sold and this will affect the boys. We have 3 dogs that we all love.
This is what makes it so hard. We had a great marriage. I don't hate her. I am lost. She likes this guy for sex, period. I know why, he is 6'2" and I am 5'6". Her chats say its about bigger is better. But she also professes her love for me constantly, both to me and through our friends. Everyone thinks we are madly in love and have the best marriage ever. I am so beyond depressed. No outcome looks good for the kids.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Obviously she'll be hooking up in your bed at home when your taking you kids to school.

Set up cameras and at hire a PI to get the goods on her.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

This thread feels kinda "trollish", but on the off chance that it isn't. 

I have a feeling that the boys may be acting out due to the stress in the home life. You may say that you're keeping this away from them, but kids aren't stupid, they know when things are different in the home.

Your wife is cheating on you. She's giving herself to another man when she promised to be yours on her wedding day. She's lied and cheated. She has humliated you with the comments of " Bigger is better". If that's the case, then let him take care of all the other aspects of her life. Let HIM spend 5k a year on jewelry on her. Let HIM pay for her car, car insurance, health insurance, dental insurance. Let HIM put a roof over her head and clothes on her back and food on the table. I guess that if bigger is better, then he could do a BETTER job at providing for her. After all, she stated that he's better than you are, so kick her ass out the door and let her have something better. Far be it from you to deprieve her something better!


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I would continue to remain silent as you are.

She wouldn't be aware I knew for about a week when the divorce papers were served to her in some public place and the OM went NC on her because I told his wife ( if he has one).

I certainly wouldn't wait 3 years until my last kid was gone
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

tacoma said:


> I would continue to remain silent as you are.
> 
> She wouldn't be aware I knew for about a week when the divorce papers were served to her in some public place and the OM went NC on her because I told his wife ( if he has one).
> 
> ...


More than one poster has decided to wait til kids were gone/older. LOL it didn't last much longer than the thought. OP's guts are be gnawed out as we speak. His fog is rolling out now is my guess.

*He should make this a list and hand it to her: from crossbar

Your wife is cheating on you. She's giving herself to another man when she promised to be yours on her wedding day. She's lied and cheated. She has humliated you with the comments of " Bigger is better". If that's the case, then let him take care of all the other aspects of her life. Let HIM spend 5k a year on jewelry on her. Let HIM pay for her car, car insurance, health insurance, dental insurance. Let HIM put a roof over her head and clothes on her back and food on the table. I guess that if bigger is better, then he could do a BETTER job at providing for her. After all, she stated that he's better than you are, so kick her ass out the door and let her have something better. Far be it from you to deprieve her something better! *


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Hmmmmmm....interesting.



rushzappafan said:


> I will bring my oldest to university first in less than two weeks (3day drive).


But you said this earlier:



rushzappafan said:


> I have a dying brother, *an ill 15 year old* and *my oldest stabbed someone*. I just can not handled a divorce. I am barely holding on.


Uh, I don't think you're oldest will be going to college since you said he stabbed someone. 

And your 15 year old is sick, but you said in your opening post that he was working. How can he work at 15 years old and sick? It just doesn't make sense.


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