# Feeling done and ready to get attorney??



## Mc515 (Feb 19, 2021)

Hello, 

so I’ve never written on one of these and frankly, don’t know where to start. I’m a married woman of 5 years and it’s felt like a life time. I’m truly in such an unhappy marriage I can’t see us ever mending the hurt that has transpired over the past 5 years. We have two small children together and that’s the only thing keeping me here. I’m so unhappy with my person, so much resentment has built up. He refuses therapy (I go alone.) He doesn’t seem to put any effort into our relationship or communication. He never brings up problems or how he’s feeling. And I’ve grown to dislike him as a parent as well. Which feels terrible but he’s not present with out kids emotionally.When I bring up divorce he says that’s not what he wants. But he doesn’t act happy around me or seem to enjoy me or our kids at all. I’m so confused. Is this emotional abuse? What do I do? I just feel so alone. I didn’t know where else to go with this. Any replies would be so encouraging.Sending you love wherever you find yourself!!


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## Luckylucky (Dec 11, 2020)

How were things before you married? He sounds very withdrawn rather than abusive but maybe we need more details? Small kids in a small timeframe can be taxing if he’s also working, has other commitments etc. We were absolutely drained during those years and I think both of us had a bit of depression.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Mc515 said:


> Hello,
> 
> so I’ve never written on one of these and frankly, don’t know where to start. I’m a married woman of 5 years and it’s felt like a life time. I’m truly in such an unhappy marriage I can’t see us ever mending the hurt that has transpired over the past 5 years. We have two small children together and that’s the only thing keeping me here. I’m so unhappy with my person, so much resentment has built up. He refuses therapy (I go alone.) He doesn’t seem to put any effort into our relationship or communication. He never brings up problems or how he’s feeling. And I’ve grown to dislike him as a parent as well. Which feels terrible but he’s not present with out kids emotionally.When I bring up divorce he says that’s not what he wants. But he doesn’t act happy around me or seem to enjoy me or our kids at all. I’m so confused. Is this emotional abuse? What do I do? I just feel so alone. I didn’t know where else to go with this. Any replies would be so encouraging.Sending you love wherever you find yourself!!


Sometimes just "bringing up" divorce isn't enough. He needs to know how serious this is, and how serious you are.

Have you ever, in no uncertain terms, told your husband that this is NOT working for you and that you WILL be divorcing if things don't change? Then be prepared to follow through. That doesn't mean you have to go file for divorce that same hour, but you can have a consultation with an attorney or two, have papers written up but not filed, etc. Keep in mind, he may get scared and fake it for a while so I wouldn't trust his changes for 6-12 months.


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