# Do you visit strip clubs with your spouse?



## KathyGriffinFan (Apr 4, 2011)

I got called a prude today, by a relative who lets her hubby go to strip joints. Apparently, I'm a prude because I'm not comfortable with my husband going to these clubs :rofl:

I'm just curious as to how you guys out there feel about it. Are you cool with your spouse visiting these joints? Does he go by himself or with you? Do you feel that this adds to your sex life or is it purely for entertainment? 

Thanks!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

KathyGriffinFan said:


> I got called a prude today, by a relative who lets her hubby go to strip joints. Apparently, I'm a prude because I'm not comfortable with him going to these clubs :rofl:
> 
> I'm just curious as to how you guys out there feel about it. Are you cool with your spouse visiting these joints? Does he go by himself or with you? Do you feel that this adds to your sex life or is it purely for entertainment?


I would *NEVER* call anyone a prude for not allowing their husbands to go to a Strip Club. Oh my NO, that is VERY RUDE. I would guess over 90% of wives would be against this & feel uncomfortable for a variety of reasons that are legitimate and/or belief based. 

I look at myself as much more "open" than many wives would be in this area (right now) probably because of 3 things....

*1)* My recent mid life crisis (which was all sexual in nature) brought great interest & intrege to seeing & checking out things we never did in our youth.

*2* Husband has NEVER experienced a Strip Club, our 1st time going was 2 yrs ago, we had been married 19 yrs-he was 45. His flavor of porn has always been women dancing & poles. After I had a night out with the girls to see the Chippendales , I seen no reason I should deprive him of this experience when a friend asked us to go. 

I ALWAYS go with my husband, he wants me too, and said he would not go without me. I found I enjoyed watching the dance moves, checking out their outfits, and when they give a bachelor his turn in the chair , it is a HOOT ! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. The Club we go to is one of the nicest ones in the state, no touching, grinding, rules are carefully followed & enforced. They encourage married couples to go together, we are not the only ones. 

* 3)* I feel I can do this easily -because of the way my husbans *IS*, how he has always treated me, and our comfortableness in all sexual things. If he had an addicting personality, if he was a major flirt, if he had been unfaithful in the past, if we were having any marital problems, if our sex life was lacking, I can say with honesty - I would NOT sit well with him going. 

It is definitely entertainment and we have had FUN. We have made a few friends there, a single friend is going out with one of the girls, last we spoke. It's been interesting, but I know this is a phase, and it will pass, we havent been there in 6 months now. Might go back, might not. 

The 1st 2 times we went, he was REALLY aroused when we got home. For me, this was HEAVEN as I had the much higher sex drive at the time, I told him if this is how he is going to be when he gets home, we can go every week! After the 3rd trip, the allure wore off. I would say it HAS enhanced our experience.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

Before I met my husband, I was never an adventurous woman. 

Then I got married to my Canadian husband, he and I both started exploring this side of human life. 

At the beginning of our relationship, we went to a lot of bars and clubs. 

I remember going to this club, they give you a girl to spend time with you. My husband had a girl(me), we didn't want a girl. But they insisted giving us a girl, it is their policy, we had to pay the same amount. So we just had the girl sitting across from us and I asked her some questions about her life. 

When we go traveling, something we must do is to check out the sex clubs the city has. We went a strip club in Macau, we actually watched live sex. We went to a strip club in Vancouver, a few of the girls have nice bodies, but more than half of them have unflattering bodies, I don't know why they work there. My husband wanted me to have the prettiest girl dance for me, I declined, I did give her good tip while she was dancing for everybody. We also went to a club for homosexual people, it was for my benefit, I told my husband I wanted to watch male dancers, and I got what I wanted, it was a great show. I can still remember vividly the male dancer's hard toy! 

It is a lot of fun. But for a married couple, if they want to explore this kind of excitement, they'd better go together. It is never a good idea to let your partner search this kind of thing alone. 

We do this because we are curious, and to understand more about people. We don't get excited or horny by going to this kind of places!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I ALWAYS go with my husband, he wants me too, and said he would not go without me.


My husband is the same, he won't go to this kind of places without me. If I don't want to go, he doesn't want to go there either! 

But I want to go! Maybe even more curious than him!


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I feel I can do this easily -because of the way my husband how he has always treated me, and our comfortableness in all sexual things. If he had an addicting personality, if he was a major flirt, if he had been unfaithful in the past, if we were having any marital problems, if our sex life was lacking, I can say with honesty - I would NOT sit well with him going.


I think it is the same reason why I am so comfortable with my husband! He has never made me feel insecure in our relationship. He respects me, loves me, and cares for me. 

My love for him just flows out naturally, and I love exploring all his fantasies with him together. I benefit from doing all these things too!


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

No I'm not cool with it at all. Luckily before I'd even shared my views on the sex industry with him he told me that he had not been to one for over 10 years (or something like that).

I had seen strippers and been to a strip club when I was much younger. However I know that I felt very uncomfortable with it and did not like it. 

It is not conducive to my values. I do not support the sex industry. I do not believe in commodifying people. 

I don't think it enhances relationships and that bringing other people into your sex life is ever a good thing. 

I also read a study on the way strippers were treated and how they were conditioned to view a certain amount of ill behaviour as the norm and not bad, so when asked if they were treated well they often answered yes despite bad treatement in the work place and by customers. I think it was deemed Ok to treat them as such because they became a product. This makes me feel awful because they are people.

I also view myself to be very open minded sexually, just that my open mindedness is about me and how to enhance the sex life I have exclusively with my fiance. I do not think that if you do not use other people that makes you closed minded, perhaps just more aware of other issues, and able to focus on what feels good to you instead of what society tells you is good or sexy.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Syrum said:


> I also read a study on the way strippers were treated and how they were conditioned to view a certain amount of ill behaviour as the norm and not bad, so when asked if they were treated well they often answered yes despite bad treatement in the work place and by customers. I think it was deemed Ok to treat them as such because they became a product. This makes me feel awful because they are people.


 I don't doubt these things at all , so when a good man comes in, a family man, whose brings his wife, who smiles & treats her with respect in her job, not speaking down to her, asking about her life goals, seeing her open up & feel this respect, talking about her college education, where she is planning to move, about her boyfriend, THIS brightens her nights amidst some of the more unruly males in the house. They apprecaite such customers, they LOOK for them! 

My husband was TRUSTED enough with his favorite dancer - SHE offered her real name to him so he could connect on Facebook with her. This is not something you offer to someone who disrespects you. And I know she is not after my husband. He got special treatment because of how WE treated her. 

Yes, I believe this is more RARE than the norm, but if you have chosen such a profession, I can only assume it brightens the night to have such male customers come in from time to time. She gave him ROYAL treatment every visit upon meeting him/us, even when the place was packed, she made sure he got his dance when he wanted it & he was far from a big spender. 1 lap dance each visit was our rule.


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## KathyGriffinFan (Apr 4, 2011)

Thank you for all your responses. It is very enlightening to hear the open communication that you and your husbands share :smthumbup:. Not many have that these days


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

My wife and I go together, roughly once a month. We found a strip club that we both like. Several of the dancers (particularly our favorites) recognize us, and will sit down and chit-chat with us with no expectation of tips, drinks or dances. One is comfortable enough with us that, around Halloween, she told us where she was taking her niece trick or treating. One that we were talking to last time told us she was married...that she doesn't tell customers about that normally.

The atmosphere is nice...not your stereotypical strip club. Very dancer- and couple-friendly. In fact, we normally go on Saturday nights for their "date night" promotion in which there's no cover charge for couples before 9. I think the big difference is that the owner is a woman.

I've been to others in the past; enjoyed some, not others. (MIL is a "house mom" at one that I don't like.)

If we no longer both enjoy going, we'll stop going. But, if it's any indication, my wife has been talking about us getting a VIP membership later this year.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

I've never gone by myself.

But my husband and I have gone together.

I have no issues with it and I don't get intimidated by him oogling the gals.

The last time we went (last year), I bought him a lap dance (solo) and he didn't want to participate. It was funny, I thought he would jump at the fact that he got a lap dance. 

Once we get things straight in our home (with us), we'll probably go again, it turns me on to watch him get turned on.

We're strange folks...but that's okay, we like it!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> it turns me on to watch him get turned on.
> 
> We're strange folks...but that's okay, we like it!


Couldn't agree with this more ! I will try to explain here how I FELT the very 1st time my husband wanted to go back for a lap dance...

That 1st night I watched my decently quiet shy husband all smiley, opening up talking to this dancing beauty that approched him, and his asking me if it was Ok to go back & have a Lap dance. My initial thought was "Oh my God, my husband wants to see another woman naked, how can this be!" Immediately these feelings started rising up within me, stirring me, I realized this was "jealousy" but crazy as it sounds, I LIKED IT ! It made me WANT HIM MORE somehow, I wanted to take claim of him as my own, take possession of him somehow, -and I did just that -later that night!

My husband has never done anything in the last 28 yrs of our life together to make me jealous. I mean NOTHING, he has always been the ever loving doting puppy dog. I think he has waited too long! It literally turned me ON . For us, the experience was all good, I liked feeling that way and seeing him open up & get bubbly with these women. He is not a man who gets much attention or creates much. BUt these nights, he enjoys alot. And I love seeing him happy. 

I guess I LIKE having my jealousy stirred just a little. 

I know it is harmless.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

I hear ya, SA. Truth told, my wife has gotten more lap dances than I have at this point. And, as you mentioned upthread, our favorite goes out of her way to greet us when she sees us, make sure we get the dance(e) we want, and that we have a good time. One night, she turned down several requests from people for dances because she wasn't feeling well...was going to go home and crawl into bed after cycling through the stages since she'd already committed to doing so. However, when she saw we were there, she stuck around long enough to say, "Hi" and dance for us because she knew us. Like you guys, we're not big spenders when we go. But we aren't jerks, either.

Granted, everyone's different, but if what she told us one night is indicative of a fair percentage of dancers, she likes seeing familiar faces in the audience. Makes her a bit more comfortable. And we've had great conversations, ranging from general topics to some of the funnier aspects of the job that we hadn't considered.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KathyGriffinFan (Apr 4, 2011)

OMG SimplyAmorous! That is exactly how I feel.

I agree with both you and MarriedWifeInLove that it turns me on to watch him get turned on and that is why I am curious about venturing to a strip club.

Too many times in the past, we've done certain things because it turns me on to watch him get turned on and we have a wonderful time doing this, but after, I've always felt like I'm wrong for feeling this way. 
I've heard that using porn in a relationship will get him addicted and on the road to adultery, "because if he finds these women attractive, it's sin in his heart."

I always wrestle with this after and it hurts the experience.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Grayson said:


> I hear ya, SA. Truth told, my wife has gotten more lap dances than I have at this point.


I have no desire to do this. But I notice women go back all the time. Where we go, a woman is allowed to go back free with their men & watch. I never wanted to watch my husband's dance. But I did once go back & watch a male friend get his, just for curiosity's sake, it was nice to see what happens behind the scenes. BUt seriosuly, women are not my thing. Only guys do it for me! I have more fun just watching how these guys react & their faces near the stage, it is always so obvious when some young ones come in for the 1st time, they are so excited, almost falling over themselves with their eyes popping out of thier heads. 

Men are so serioulsy CALM in comparison to the crazy antics of the screaming women at the Chippendales outing I went too though. Women go nuts! much MORE excitable than men in comparison.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

SA, sounds more like he's gotten what our club refers to as a private dance as opposed to a lap dance/table dance. The standard-fare lap dances at the places I've been are at the table as opposed to a private/semi-private room. We've not done that...yet. ;-)

My wife admits to a bit of bi-curiosity, but has decided that going to enjoy the strip club, lap dances and the like with me is as far as she plans to satisfy that curiosity. So, just like it's a turn on for you to see your husband enjoy the scenery, so is it a turn on for both of us to see one another enjoying it. But, at the end o the day, it's all just in fun.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

KathyGriffinFan said:


> I've heard that using porn in a relationship will get him addicted and on the road to adultery, "because if he finds these women attractive, it's sin in his heart."


There are many threads here debating this very topic.

Some will tell you that, yes indeed, this is an immutable, inevitable outcome.

While I agree that it CAN happen, that is a result of the personality types and mindsets of those involved. Many people, men and women alike, enjoy it with no addiction, adultery or any other negative impact on the relationship. Others have less favorable outcomes. But, that's not unique to porn...that can happen with most any activity.

I'd say know yourselves, each other, and your personal "lines in the sand" before taking up any new activities that might give you pause.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Grayson said:


> SA, sounds more like he's gotten what our club refers to as a private dance as opposed to a lap dance/table dance. The standard-fare lap dances at the places I've been are at the table as opposed to a private/semi-private room. We've not done that...yet. ;-)


Yeah, he gets the private ones, they last as long as a "song" , his dancer lets him know if they will be offering a BOGO ! ha ha 

He also likes going on some of their Special nights where they have a Porn star feature. He simply HAS to get a picture with her before we leave -so he can take it back to work and show all the guys. They just shake their heads. Some of them are amazed I let him do these things. He has collected about 7 of these pictures so far. 

Just a little WILD phase we had. We haven't even thought of going back lately, only if another friend wants too, we're game. Fun memories though. 

Totally agree with Grayson's above comment !


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Sounds fun! Never even thought of a BOGO for dances! We'll have to see if ours ever offers them

We've only gone once for a feature, and that was as much because it was New Year's Eve than for the feature, but she ended up being a lot of fun. She did a burlesque/magic act. Wife's the one who got her picture with her. Back when I was single, though, friends and I did go see Jenna Jameson feature at a club. Rolling around somewhere is a Polaroid of me and Jenna that I got that night. She was funny...thought it was a hoot that I got her to sign my "Howard Stern Private Parts" soundtrack that I got that day, since there's a picture from her scene on the cd booklet.

All in all, though, I have much more fun going with my wife than I did with my buddies back then. I think I've been more times since we found this place almost a year ago than in the not-quite-20 years I was legal to get in previously.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Grayson said:


> SA, sounds more like he's gotten what our club refers to as a private dance as opposed to a lap dance/table dance. The standard-fare lap dances at the places I've been are at the table as opposed to a private/semi-private room. We've not done that...yet. ;-)
> 
> My wife admits to a bit of bi-curiosity, but has decided that going to enjoy the strip club, lap dances and the like with me is as far as she plans to satisfy that curiosity. So, just like it's a turn on for you to see your husband enjoy the scenery, so is it a turn on for both of us to see one another enjoying it. But, at the end o the day, it's all just in fun.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have some bi-curiosity too.

Except that I have explored (once with a close best-friend).

It was kinda cool - wouldn't mind trying it again.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

Grayson said:


> There are many threads here debating this very topic.
> 
> Some will tell you that, yes indeed, this is an immutable, inevitable outcome.
> 
> ...


Don't get me started.

I'm not going there again!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> I have some bi-curiosity too.
> 
> Except that I have explored (once with a close best-friend).
> 
> It was kinda cool - wouldn't mind trying it again.


You and every other girl with 3 drinks in her.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

MarriedWifeInLove said:


> I have some bi-curiosity too.
> 
> Except that I have explored (once with a close best-friend).
> 
> It was kinda cool - wouldn't mind trying it again.


But if you've explored it, can you really be bi-"CURIOUS" any longer? 

Seriously, though.... Although I'll find myself sometimes using the easier labels, that's why I think the Kinsey scale is more accurate. In your case, you probably still use the term "curious" because you're still predominantly heterosexual, with some leanings towards bi-sexuality, but don't feel that those leanings are strong enough to really see yourself as "bi-sexual." But yeah...it would be far clunkier to say something like "I'm a Kinsey 2." 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Bi-flexible? Bi-flexibous? 

I knew quite a few LUGS in school. (lesbian until graduation).


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Couldn't agree with this more ! I will try to explain here how I FELT the very 1st time my husband wanted to go back for a lap dance...
> 
> That 1st night I watched my decently quiet shy husband all smiley, opening up talking to this dancing beauty that approched him, and his asking me if it was Ok to go back & have a Lap dance. My initial thought was "Oh my God, my husband wants to see another woman naked, how can this be!" Immediately these feelings started rising up within me, stirring me, I realized this was "jealousy" but crazy as it sounds, I LIKED IT ! It made me WANT HIM MORE somehow, I wanted to take claim of him as my own, take possession of him somehow, -and I did just that -later that night!
> 
> ...


I am still not that open yet! 

I like watching them from a distance, but I get nervous if they are near us. I won't buy my husband a lap dance, I am a jealous woman, he can only touch me or be touched by me! 
I am not interested having a girl dancing for me either, I enjoy their show as a kind of beautiful art!  And I like to give them tips! Just to thank them! 

We can't go to strip clubs often! Our city doesn't have it! It is still illegal here!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

greenpearl said:


> I am still not that open yet!
> 
> I like watching them from a distance, but I get nervous if they are near us. I won't buy my husband a lap dance, I am a jealous woman, he can only touch me or be touched by me!
> I am not interested having a girl dancing for me either, I enjoy their show as a kind of beautiful art!  And I like to give them tips! Just to thank them!
> ...


Believe Me Greenpearl, I am very capable of being the Jealous type, I have been jealous in the past over a few things that have really hung me up (like infertility-jealousy of other Moms, my best girlfriend in high school moving on to other friends), these were my killers. 

My husband has never done anything to arouse my jealousy. I think he should have more in the past somehow-especialy when I was taking him for granted, cause I got to see how this 'stirs me up" & DRAWS me to him, wanting him more. Now he knows a little secret! Ha ha  

Even in one of my books about "Having an affair with your Spouse" -*Kosher Adultery*, the Author talks about this VERY thing. If you feel you are loosing attraction to your spouse, getting bored, a sure test (& possible remedy to get your engine firing) is going to a bar, walking in separately, sitting from a distance & seeing others hit on your spouse & the fun, maybe even a little flirty inneractions with another! Amazing what this can do. 

My husband has viewed me with endless inneractions & many times with guys, I am a social butterfly & am capable of being pleasingly MORE friendly than I probably should if someone strikes up a conversation with me- but faithful incarnate-always. Maybe this very thing has helped him hold his attraction to me. So it was GREAT to see the tables turned! Loved it !  


Neither of us has ever touched anyone else since we have been married. I am not even comfortable getting a massage from a stranger !


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> You and every other girl with 3 drinks in her.


:rofl:

It's true that society seems to be churning out a hell of a lot of bi curious women. I do think porn culture is to blame for a lot of that, I have no idea if my own attraction to women is something that would have fully developed on it's own or was merely shaped by society and the bombardment of the sexualised images of women, to which I was conditioned to find sexy.

Ah well...


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Believe Me Greenpearl, I am very capable of being the Jealous type, I have been jealous in the past over a few things that have really hung me up (like infertility-jealousy of other Moms, my best girlfriend in high school moving on to other friends), these were my killers.
> 
> My husband has never done anything to arouse my jealousy. I think he should have more in the past somehow-especialy when I was taking him for granted, cause I got to see how this 'stirs me up" & DRAWS me to him, wanting him more. Now he knows a little secret! Ha ha
> 
> ...


I believe that! 

There is something you have but I don't! 

I have insecurity issue. I think the way you grew up was much healthier than mine. So causing me to be jealous of other girls hitting on him can really mess up with my mind. I don't want that kind of feeling. I like to feel my man is mine and only mine, no one will take him away from me!  I like the peaceful feeling!


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

No never visited a strip club with OH and no desire to.

I have always known that whilst I have no issue with him looking at porn, be it film/magazine/internet/whatever, I *would* have an issue with him looking at "real-life" women for kicks. I have to put up with the eyeing up of women on an everyday basis which I really don't like so inviting it would just be foolish!


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

I wouldn't be happy with my hubby going to a strip club. That's like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey... too much temptation. I don't think his testosterone-laden self could resist it, lol. That, or he might try to get me to join him at the club. Snore. You've seen one boob, you've seen em all. Well, if ManPower were there, I might consider it! hahhaha


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## CarolinaGirl (Feb 13, 2011)

Runs like Dog said:


> Bi-flexible? Bi-flexibous?
> 
> I knew quite a few LUGS in school. (lesbian until graduation).


Bi-WINNING!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Waited4This (Apr 10, 2011)

I just recently went to a strip club with my wife and a friend who was recently divorced, it was a celebration for his divorce. Me and my wife just sat at the bar having drinks, talking and enjoying the show, while my wife and I didn't participate in anything we had a good time enjoying the atmosphere and talking about the strippers dance moves or the choice of clothes. Overall I would rather be at a strip club with my wife then with my buddies.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Runs like Dog said:


> You and every other girl with 3 drinks in her.


Figure this one, I have never liked the Bar scene, I am not at all Bi curious, I have never been drunk a day in my life, nor do I smoke but I really enjoy a Strip Club. At least the one we went too. I am not sure others would be the same. It was just so much fun. My husband only gets one beer the whole night. He & my good male buddy has told me it might be dangerous for me to get drunk, not sure what would come out of my mouth, I sometimes say too much as it is.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Figure this one, I have never liked the Bar scene, I am not at all Bi curious, I have never been drunk a day in my life, nor do I smoke but I really enjoy a Strip Club. At least the one we went too. I am not sure others would be the same. It was just so much fun. My husband only gets one beer the whole night. He & my good male buddy has told me it might be dangerous for me to get drunk, not sure what would come out of my mouth, I sometimes say too much as it is.


I never like bar or club atmosphere either. They smoke, they drink, and they are loud! 

But I go there for other kind of fun. I go there because I am curious! 

Neither of us smoke, we really don't like to be around people who smoke(now they are not allowed to smoke in public areas, so it is not a problem anymore). My husband drinks a little, I don't drink at all, never understand why people like to drink, alcohol burns my nose and my tongue. Dislike people who take drugs, never touched drugs because we know they are poisons. 

But still, we like to go to strip clubs and watch shows!


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## Tantalizing (Apr 11, 2011)

It doesn't make you a prude, we all vary in levels of curiousity. I went to one with my Husband, it was actually my idea, and I loved it, but I know it's not for everyone, and who are they to judge? If it's not something you're in to you wouldn't enjoy it.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

greenpearl said:


> But I go there for other kind of fun. I go there because I am curious!


I am CURIOUS about pretty much everything, you only live once in this life. I was TOO "prudish" in my youth & much of my marraige so this kind of entertainment was pretty out of character for me. Just refreshing to get away from all of that - that hindering mindset. Some would say I went overboard! 


I just enjoy "watching people", how they act, what turns them on, their reactions. It is true when you get a few beers in some, you see them come alive & not always in such a good way, but an obknoxiousness comes through. Always glad those ones were not with our party. We have sat by tables, pretty calm & withdrawn in the early eve, give them a few hours, they were whooping & hollering. 



greenpearl said:


> Dislike people who take drugs, never touched drugs because we know they are poisons.


 The most I have ever done & I knew what I was doing, I tried marijuana, a few puffs with friends once, I purposely wanted to see if it had any effect on me. Here, I couldnt stop laughing, that is what it did, we was near a small creek & I fell into it laughing so hard. Never cared to try it again.


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## farmerswife (Nov 7, 2012)

My husband and I have been talking about going to a club in the last few weeks. I worry that HE will be the one to become overly jealous when he sees how aroused I may become, the attention I may get from the dancers/men, etc. (I say "may" because I have never been to a club before much less have a woman rubbing all over me but I am extremely attracted to woman and this is a fantasy we have shared together.) I am excited for the possible opportunity to share my husband in this way and although this is something that he has brought up (he has even asked me to get a sitter for this Friday just for this purpose) I just want to enjoy the company of another women with my husband and have him enjoy a woman as well. (I told him he can pick out the dancer(s) he would want for me thinking that might help ease his mind.) 
How do I make sure he is comfortable? Should I just avoid getting any lap dances and focus it on him and see where it leads?

I suppose a man could turn the question around and ask how does he make his wife feel comfortable if she is unsure of the strip club situation?


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

No neither of us go chose to spend money elsewhere


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## jman (Jun 20, 2012)

I'd absolutely do this if my wife were into it- she's not. I've done it before with girlfriends and it was a great time


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Wow, this thread is over a year old LMAO.


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## cub!chy (May 7, 2012)

I guess the response is for farmerswife, not the original poster. You should have started a new thread.
Anyway, we have been to several strip clubs both male and female, we have been to ones in LAS and LA, were the best ones. Some on the east coast too, which weren’t too good. Anyway, it’s a phase that we are now past. I have been married for 13 years and it’s been a fantasy of mine to have my wife get a lap dance by a female dancer and make out with her, wow, that’s so hot. My wife wouldn’t do it at the time, but she will look and say which dancer she thinks is cute and has a good body, ect. I have watched her get lap dances by male dancers, NP. I don’t get jealous in a strip club, these people have perfect bodies and we are just 1 in a million, so I doubt your husband would get jealous. And the fact that you are into girls, your husband may just cum in his pants, so go and enjoy and juts to be sure, include him, in some way.


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## missymrs80 (Aug 5, 2012)

KathyGriffinFan said:


> I got called a prude today, by a relative who lets her hubby go to strip joints. Apparently, I'm a prude because I'm not comfortable with my husband going to these clubs :rofl:
> 
> I'm just curious as to how you guys out there feel about it. Are you cool with your spouse visiting these joints? Does he go by himself or with you? Do you feel that this adds to your sex life or is it purely for entertainment?
> 
> Thanks!


Not at all cool with My husband going to strip clubs. 
The idea of him giving our money to a random woman is what bothers me the most.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

I'm fine with it. Mostly we go together. But sometimes he goes with his buddies and brothers.


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## CO_MOM (Sep 14, 2012)

missymrs80 said:


> Not at all cool with My husband going to strip clubs.
> The idea of him giving our money to a random woman is what bothers me the most.


I totally agree. This is thankfully something I don't have to worry about, as the nearest club like that is probably at least 2 hours away! I know if I told my husband I was going to go watch Chippendales or something similar, he would not approve of it either.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

I've actually surprised my husband for his birthday taking him to one after we had dinner/drinks with some friends. We had a lot of fun AT the club but even more AFTER!


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> I've actually surprised my husband for his birthday taking him to one after we had dinner/drinks with some friends. We had a lot of fun AT the club but even more AFTER!


It's definitely sets the mode for some kinky carefree fun afterwards! 

Sometimes we don't even make it home and we use the car instead!


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Never had a problem, together or separately. I don't like strip clubs much, so maybe if I went more often than once every two years or so, she would have had a problem, but there seems to be no philosophical opposition to it. Bachelor(ette) parties are fair game.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

My wife wouldn't want to go to a strip club, although she did go to the Vegas AEE Porn convention with me earlier this year. She didn't enjoy it, mostly because the music was too loud, but she was a trooper and endured it all just for me.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

missymrs80 said:


> Not at all cool with My husband going to strip clubs.
> *The idea of him giving our money to a random woman is what bothers me the most.*


Interesting. I have heard this from many women. I do get it. But you would think they would be more concerned about the sexual aspects and not the money. But yeah this is a common thought.

I would have a problem with my wife doing this whether there was money involved or not.

That said the thread is about couples going together ... whatever works for them is all good.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I've been to a strip club once, and that was for my bachelor party.

I never asked my wife for permission to go again, I told her I would likely go back sometime down the line, and asked how she felt about it. She says she's fine. I proposed that we go visit one together at some point and she's up for it.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Never done it but will be soon


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## Amyd (Nov 12, 2012)

KathyGriffinFan said:


> I got called a prude today, by a relative who lets her hubby go to strip joints. Apparently, I'm a prude because I'm not comfortable with my husband going to these clubs :rofl:
> 
> I'm just curious as to how you guys out there feel about it. Are you cool with your spouse visiting these joints? Does he go by himself or with you? Do you feel that this adds to your sex life or is it purely for entertainment?
> 
> Thanks!


Strip clubs are a form of cheating. IMO


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Amyd said:


> Strip clubs are a form of cheating. IMO


But how is it cheating if you go with your spouse? 

Even if he went alone I would not consider it cheating as long as there was no touching. I don't own my partner, if he wants to go a strip club then he can go.


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## Michael A. Brown (Oct 16, 2012)

I haven't tried it.


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## Amyd (Nov 12, 2012)

Holland said:


> But how is it cheating if you go with your spouse?
> 
> Even if he went alone I would not consider it cheating as long as there was no touching. I don't own my partner, if he wants to go a strip club then he can go.


Most men who go to strip clubs get lap dances.


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## smilinatu (Jan 9, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I have no desire to do this. But I notice women go back all the time. Where we go, a woman is allowed to go back free with their men & watch. I never wanted to watch my husband's dance. But I did once go back & watch a male friend get his, just for curiosity's sake, it was nice to see what happens behind the scenes. BUt seriosuly, women are not my thing. Only guys do it for me! I have more fun just watching how these guys react & their faces near the stage, it is always so obvious when some young ones come in for the 1st time, they are so excited, almost falling over themselves with their eyes popping out of thier heads.
> 
> Men are so serioulsy CALM in comparison to the crazy antics of the screaming women at the Chippendales outing I went too though. Women go nuts! much MORE excitable than men in comparison.


SA,

We don't know each other, so please ignore this if you feel it is inappropriate from a stranger. When you went back with your male friend, did it turn you on to see him getting turned on? Did it concern your husband at all that you wanted to see another guy getting hot and bothered?

I know this is different, but someone above mentioned seeing a couple having intercourse at a sex club. I would love to do that, but I'm not sure how to find it or if my wife would admit to wanting to go.

Anyway, please feel free to ignore.

Smilin


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Amyd said:


> Strip clubs are a form of cheating. IMO


And everyone is entitled to their opinions ...and beliefs...for their own marriages. Hopefully you & the husband agree & see it all the same way (also on the porn issue) 

The definition of *cheating* is .....to act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, esp. in a game or examination, to Deceive or trick. To be sexually unfaithful .

A little about me & mine... we've been together since our teens...we've only been with each other sexually... this is very very special to us, we would never trample this... .No PA's, No EA's... 

I do not consider a little erotic entertainment - with air dancing "cheating"....nor does he... we are completely & utterly monogamous....that is our rule written in stone. If one of us goes beyond that - we are vile, no good & the other has a right to divorce over it. 

Sure he enjoys getting a little STIRRED sexually with what he was looking at, I don't have a problem with it, because I know his







. 

For us, we used to be a little Repressed... hindered us some in our marriage, we never watched Porn either... Then in Mid life we hit a little WILD phase....this was the wildest it got....

.....and the beauty of it was....we did it all together hand in hand. 

My husband would be insulted for anyone to think he was cheating on me, he'd stop his his heart before he would do that, you'd just have to know him. 

Your boundaries may be stricter than ours....but that doesn't make others cheaters. He also wouldn't care if I went to see the Chippendales, or Magic Mike (he came with me! ).... Whatever we do, we do it together. 

It was JUST a phase, it ran it's course....we knew it would ....haven't been there for over a year, doubt we'll go again even... but no regrets either... it was FUN.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

smilinatu said:


> SA,
> 
> We don't know each other, so please ignore this if you feel it is inappropriate from a stranger. *When you went back with your male friend, did it turn you on to see him getting turned on?* * Did it concern your husband at all that you wanted to see another guy getting hot and bothered?*
> 
> ...


 No offense at all - happy to answer ... This friend we've known for over 20 yrs....we're pretty close...... I am hardly turned on by this friend (husband knows this)... ...and thoughts like that were not even in the back of my head when I went back there... I was purely curious to see how the girls danced ... pretty much thinking "Oh this is what my husband is viewing back here"...and true, no touching what so ever goes on, they are very smooth...their hair may grace the guys face if it is long, but that is all. Music is playing, I paid more attention to her moves over his reactions, but of course I watched that too, he was enjoying himself. 

The Bouncer is watching every move... I even felt a little silly sitting there , just awkward -yeah, like a voyeur. 

Also to get a close up idea of how a Lap dance is actually done, so I could try one of those on my husband at home. A little inspiration doesn't hurt! 

Me & my husband talk about everything... I know I shared with him my little "going back" experience - as I do my thoughts on pretty much everything. I just asked him in the other room how he felt... he said he never even thought of it at all... ..I figured that would be his answer!


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I used to hit strip clubs when I was single.
When I started dating my wife all of that went right through the door.
I don't think she will like going to a strip club.
We have never been to one together.
I am not really interested either.


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## smilinatu (Jan 9, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> No offense at all - happy to answer ... This friend we've known for over 20 yrs....we're pretty close...... I am hardly turned on by this friend (husband knows this)... ...and thoughts like that were not even in the back of my head when I went back there... I was purely curious to see how the girls danced ... pretty much thinking "Oh this is what my husband is viewing back here"...and true, no touching what so ever goes on, they are very smooth...their hair may grace the guys face if it is long, but that is all. Music is playing, I paid more attention to her moves over his reactions, but of course I watched that too, he was enjoying himself.
> 
> The Bouncer is watching every move... I even felt a little silly sitting there , just awkward -yeah, like a voyeur.
> 
> ...


Judging solely from your few posts here, you guys are very lucky. Happy for you


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

Holland said:


> But how is it cheating if you go with your spouse?
> 
> Even if he went alone I would not consider it cheating as long as there was no touching. I don't own my partner, if he wants to go a strip club then he can go.


I agree! But even in my marriage, a lap dance (touching) doesn't even bother me. These women are getting paid. And I've been to all the local strip clubs with my husband. We've had lap dances together. They're fun! And whenever my husband goes with his buddies, He comes home to me and wakes me up for great sex. 

A little side note : He/we probably only go maybe every other month if that. If my husband was a frequent member (as in every weekend) , I may feel different about him going.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

smilinatu said:


> Judging solely from your few posts here, you guys are very lucky. Happy for you










Smilinatu, I'd say we're a little







in some ways that others may not understand.... we all have our unique individual stories. 

I know what we've shared & done hasn't hurt us personally ...if so, I'd be the 1st to go on about it in all it's dark side...... it's really only enhanced us in some ways. This is rather backwards from others experiences....depending on their personal issues. 

Our biggest issues was Repression...not being more open & verbal about Sexuality/fantasies & "taboo" things.... so for us to open our doors & peek in - to something I would have condemned in the past...it was good to see the other side, sit & talk to some of these women, see they are real people, not someone I should judge so harshly/ so quickly. 

Men like a little variety in the mind, I am not that uptight..his flavor has always been strippers/ dancing with a pole... I enjoyed the elegance & seduction of that myself- with the music & lights. He's had Vhs tapes of such dancing in the past. So why not....we only live once ! His 1st experience just happened to be after 6 kids at age 45 - 19 yrs into our marriage. I think he deserved it. 

It was a ride for us, a little exhilerating ...like we were "wet behind the ears" or something... hence the EXCITEMENT. A new novelty one might say...then it slowly tapered off as we expected it to do. 

Our marital boundaries were always intact.... I feel much of this has to do with that firm foundation we laid many yrs ago & held onto very tightly. 

It's been liberating to come to this place being able to talk so openly about such things & share them together.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Wouldn't want it in my marriage but each to their own.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

abitlost said:


> Wouldn't want it in my marriage but each to their own.


Same here. Neither of us has been to one, and neither of us will ever go. We are so adamant about it that if our friends were to try to take us to one, we would both turn around and walk away. That stuff has no place in our marriage.


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## bajaherbie (May 20, 2017)

My wife and I have returned from a quick 4 day vacation to our favorite southern city. On the first evening as we walked by one of the many strip joints I jokingly said 'let's go in'. She replied, 'not tonight but we can another night'. I was shocked to say the least because we have never done this before.

Later at our hotel we had some of the best sex ever! 

So the big night rolls around and she says she would like to have a few drinks first be going in. We take a table near the main stage and order a few more drinks while we watch the crowd and the girls on the stage. We laugh and have a great time! No lap dances for us, and I believe my wife had a great time. On the way back to our room she suggests we stop at the next strip joint. We didn't stay long as she was horns as heck and we dashed back to our room and had even better sex than before! 

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