# Hi I'm new



## Jade1996

So long story. I got pregnant he wouldn't have sex with me apart from twice said he was worried he'd hurt the baby... Then I had the baby and found a load of saved porn in his phone ( he doesn't watch porn normally, yes I checked his history on every device) he says it was only while I was fat pregnant just when he was bored.

Then he tells me he didn't find me attractive at all while I was pregnant and then I find his second messenger account... Which I'd already asked if it was his and he'd denyed.
Now I'm finding he has all these contacts who 'he doesn't know who they are'

Even though they're from his phone contacts.
I just don't know what to do anymore I assume he's been up to something he doesn't have or why all the secrecy
But I don't know how to prove it or what to do


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## EleGirl

Yea, he's been up to something and it's not good.

How long has it been since you had your baby?

Do you think he is still doing these things?


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## MattMatt

@Jade1996 It's not looking good, is it?

Be watchful and be careful of not showing your cards.


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## Spicy

Are you married to him?

Don’t get pregnant again, until you know what is going on. 

The sleuths will be along to help you with ways to catch him. Pay close attention, we can help!


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## Jade1996

My baby is now 5 months old we've been together since my first was baby was 1.

I don't see why he'd still be sneaking around if he wasn't up to anything

It takes him like an hour longer to get back from work since I was pregnant and is still taking him longer than it should 
He's a lorry driver so he's away a lot anyway

I don't wanna break my family up if Im just being paranoid


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## temet nostre

This is quite normal that males do not want sex with a pregnant woman, and thy start to watching porn if they do not find sex at home they are more likely to cheat. Do you find other sights of cheating? Does he pay attention to their appearance more than usual, wearing new or different clothing.? Did he lose his usual interests? How your relationship looks now, is he angry at you? Is there intimacy between you?


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## CubsFan89

I just wanted to throw my personal opinion out there about pregnant women and having sex with them.

I know everyone has their own preferences and all that but for me personally I found my wife even sexier after she got pregnant. I'm sure a small portion of that was her hormones out of control and her chasing after me constantly but it also "enhanced" a couple of her best features lol😉!

I didn't think about the baby and affecting it until well into the 3rd trimester and even then we just went with a few basic vanilla positions that would get us both off and allow us to continue to be close and intimate.

I hope everything works out for the best for you


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## Casual Observer

CubsFan89 said:


> I just wanted to throw my personal opinion out there about pregnant women and having sex with them.
> 
> I know everyone has their own preferences and all that but for me personally I found my wife even sexier after she got pregnant. I'm sure a small portion of that was her hormones out of control and her chasing after me constantly but it also "enhanced" a couple of her best features lol😉!
> 
> I didn't think about the baby and affecting it until well into the 3rd trimester and even then we just went with a few basic vanilla positions that would get us both off and allow us to continue to be close and intimate.
> 
> I hope everything works out for the best for you


This x100. My wife had no desire for sex at all (told me once or twice a month would be fine for her) until about the 6th month of pregnancy. Then she went wild. I had no issue with that; I thought she was incredibly sexy while pregnant. Sadly, the hormones that made her so horny disappeared after the kid was born. Second kid, not so much effect.


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## Casual Observer

Jade1996 said:


> So long story. I got pregnant he wouldn't have sex with me apart from twice said he was worried he'd hurt the baby... Then I had the baby and found a load of saved porn in his phone ( he doesn't watch porn normally, yes I checked his history on every device) he says it was only while I was fat pregnant just when he was bored.
> 
> Then he tells me he didn't find me attractive at all while I was pregnant and then I find his second messenger account... Which I'd already asked if it was his and he'd denyed.
> Now I'm finding he has all these contacts who 'he doesn't know who they are'
> 
> Even though they're from his phone contacts.
> I just don't know what to do anymore I assume he's been up to something he doesn't have or why all the secrecy
> But I don't know how to prove it or what to do


Was the pregnancy unplanned? You mentioned in a later post you already had a 1 year old kid; what's the backstory to that? Would you have stayed together if not for the kid? Is this a guy you'd consider marrying?


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## Yeswecan

temet nostre said:


> This is quite normal that males do not want sex with a pregnant woman, and thy start to watching porn if they do not find sex at home they are more likely to cheat. Do you find other sights of cheating? Does he pay attention to their appearance more than usual, wearing new or different clothing.? Did he lose his usual interests? How your relationship looks now, is he angry at you? Is there intimacy between you?



Men not wanting sex with their pregnant wife is not quite normal. No, they don't all start watching porn.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Yeah, DW and I still had sex all the time PIV until it was too uncomfortable for her very late in all pregnancies. 

Then, we still made do.


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## Jade1996

So back story is I had a 1 year old when we got together we had been together 3 years when I got pregnant and it was planned. Should I be concerned about other things? I have some male friends who didn't seem to think his behaviour was normal.

I would have married him I love him to pieces, and I don't want a few months of acting stupid to ruin everything.

But equally I've had the relationship where I get lied to and cheated on and I'm not sure I could face that again


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## BluesPower

Jade1996 said:


> So back story is I had a 1 year old when we got together we had been together 3 years when I got pregnant and it was planned. Should I be concerned about other things? I have some male friends who didn't seem to think his behaviour was normal.
> 
> I would have married him I love him to pieces, and I don't want a few months of acting stupid to ruin everything.
> 
> But equally I've had the relationship where I get lied to and cheated on and I'm not sure I could face that again


Listen, there is a lot going on here. And some of this may be hard. 

Some men have the Madonna/***** complex thing, and I guess some may need therapy to get over it. Essentially, when you are a GF or Wife you are sexy, but when you are pregnant and have their child, then you are not. You are at that point holy for lack of a better word. 

There are many other aspects to this problem. And while I don't understand it, I have been with several woman that had this happen to them and frankly most ended divorcing over the lack of sex.

And whoever said men don't like having sex with pregnant women, wow, who thinks like that. Pregnant sex with my Ex was wonderful and constant. I cannot really understand the whole concept that some guys go through, I don't get it. 

Now, he is most likely having an affair. All the signs point to it. I know that this is horrible, but you are going to have to deal with it one way or another. 

So, the first thing you need to do is some detective work, checking his phone, checking your phone bill to see the activity, and a bunch more. There is a standard evidence post somewhere on TAM. 

I am sorry all of this is happening... Best to deal with it head on, but don't confront until you have proof or he will just lie about it...


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## Rob_1

I never has been quite able to figure out the biological reasons why some men get turned off by pregnant females, specially their partner. I find it weird.some of them go farther than that, they are completely embarrassed to be seen with a pregnant woman.
Personally, during my wife's pregnancies, I was utterly turn on just to think of her and her belly. Pregnant women turn me on.

Your partner's actions tells a lot of how he really feels within himself about you. No good. Most likely he settled for you rather than you being a above his wildest expectations of a catch. Many people di this, later comes the buyer's remorse.


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## Buffer

Hi Jade1996,
First of all, pregnancy isn’t getting fat! Porn, well unfortunately from what I am told and yes I am a male. Allot of men do watch porn. Some Now and then, others regular a few addicted. But they do, it is made specifically to cater to a mans desire or fantasy. 

But the second or secret messaging folder, that is another thing, that requires further addressing with him. If there are no messages there can you try a deleted message recovery programme some may cost but just may put your mind at rest. If he won’t let you then he probably has something to hide. 

Buffer


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## Jade1996

Well I have been through everything search history's on every browser downloaded data from Google... I thought he had a second phone, but I've checked it out as best as I can and find the location pings all over the world and according to its data log it's log in were 10 seconds a time and downloaded everything.

I'm fairly sure the phone isn't his. 

The porn thing I'm beginning to thing is closer to addiction that crops back up when he's stressed.. Atleast it looks that way. He does say he was addicted before and had a lot but stopped when we got together until after I had the baby. 

I've done a lot of things this week which are probably harsh but he has agreed to after finding a cam website and an escort one which he swear is ads. 

I've pretty much locked his phone down to a point where all he can to is call text and Google search. If he's gunna screw this up he's gunna do where I can see him do it because he was doing it at work as well. 

I'm just waiting to see where everything goes now its the only chance he's gunna get now. 
Sorry its long but I felt this needed an update.


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