# Do two people ever just click sexually and things just work?



## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

I'm wondering if there are couples out there who really have sexual chemistry? Where both people just truly enjoy experiencing each other? If you have experianced this, is it increadable?


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

leftfield said:


> I'm wondering if there are couples out there who really have sexual chemistry? Where both people just truly enjoy experiencing each other? If you have experianced this, is it increadable?


Yes and yes and yes


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

leftfield said:


> I'm wondering if there are couples out there who really have sexual chemistry? Where both people just truly enjoy experiencing each other? If you have experianced this, is it increadable?


Yes there are couples who are together long-term and have sexual chemistry… we do!

Yes we still truly just enjoy experiencing each other.

Yes, it’s incredible.


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## leftfield (Mar 29, 2016)

Wow, someone needs to make fun of my spelling. That was bad.


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## 351235 (Sep 9, 2021)

leftfield said:


> Wow, someone needs to make fun of my spelling. That was bad.


i think they were just saying "yes, it's incredible" and not making fun of you, but i could be wrong.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Absolutely.....we do.

That said you can screw it up with bad behavior.


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## 351147 (Sep 2, 2021)

Yes, I was in a relationship where we clicked sexually. We loved making each other happy in bed and wanted to go out of our ways to do it because it was so enjoyable and exciting.

So it does exist out there. Unfortunately for us, it all went to hell outside of sex. We made great lovers, great friends but a horrible couple. We're still friends to this day.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

My take is people have three connections, 1. Sexual connection, 2. Emotional connection, 3. Sexual/emotional connection. 3 is the incredible one that doesn't materially fade with time. The other two are relatively short lived. Just my opinion but I just happen to be right.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Yep, yep, yep. Uh, I meant yes, yes, yes. For 21 years, and still going strong.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

I would say that absolutely it can exist with couples but you have to be careful with what you’re expectations are of that type of experience. If you expect them to be able to read your mind about what you want then you may be expecting too much. If you are the type of couple that communicates those desires and seek to reach them for each other joyfully then you are on the right track.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Yes there are couples out there that have chemistry and mutual burning desire. 

But there are obviously couples out there that don’t.

And in reading threads on here for the last couple years, I am convinced there are plenty of people out there in their 40s, 50s and beyond that have NEVER had mutual chemistry or mutual burning desire with someone. 

Lots of people of my generation and before married their senior prom date or their college sweetheart. A number of those marriages were due to societal expectation and because they liked each other and got along and they each seemed like marriage material and so they tied the knot. 

And while sex may have been pleasurable in the beginning, they never had true chemistry or a genuine burning desire for each other. 

Now here they are posting that they haven’t had sex in years and neither seems prepared to really address it. 

Chemistry is one of those X-Factor things that’s hard to define and hard to objectively describe, but you know it when you experience it. 

And once you have been with someone and had great mutual chemistry, you also know it when you are with someone where there’s not mutual chemistry.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

leftfield said:


> I'm wondering if there are couples out there who really have sexual chemistry?


Yes!


leftfield said:


> Where both people just truly enjoy experiencing each other?


Yes.


leftfield said:


> If you have experianced this, is it increadable?


Yes, it's wonderful.

I'm sure my grandparents experienced this into their 80's. They were devoted to each other until they passed. They were married over 60 years. I was close to my grandmother and she would make funny little comments that told me they still enjoyed each other very much. My grandfather clearly thought my grandmother was beautiful and he would get a look on his face of joy.[/quote]


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Yes. Mrs. C and I had an awkward first time but I knew upon seeing her that she was the one and we were both willing to keep trying.

The rest of that first week was filled with amazing encounters.😊


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## TXTrini (Oct 2, 2013)

It is. I had a taste of it with my exH, but it didn't last long-term (sexless marriage). I never understood why people did stupid things for sex until it hit me HARD at 40. It was completely unexpected, at the worst possible time, b/c it wasn't just sex, it was raw emotion. 

When everything lines up - sexual and intellectual attraction and chemistry followed by real connection, it's amazing. I'm half afraid of waiting for "**** to get real" because it feels almost too good to be true.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

I think you both have to want to work on it and first address other stuff souring the relationship. 2 major relationships as an adult (one marriage, one LTR) and sex eventually fizzled in both. Maybe my appearance or other conflicts were to blame partly, but I can't help but feel that sometimes people act one way at the beginning to reel you in (lots of oral, very passionate, adventurous in bed for example) but over time get lazy or in case of some men experience ED and address it by backing off their partner and just taking them for granted. I read about that a lot on here from men discussing their wives and occasionally women discussing their husbands. It can improve but I think the other person has to want to be in the relationship to want to work on it. Unsure if it is even possible to be wanted longterm even if you're pulling out all the stops because the other person has to be invested and want the relationship to work in order to work together on keeping a good sex life. I have read about it here. So I guess it exists. But it does seem a bit elusive.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

As a fan of David Schnarch, who is famous for saying that marriage is the hardest thing two people can do, if done correctly, I would like to point out that marriage and being in emotional connection is not a static thing. One of his famous books describes marriage as a crucible, where two dissimilar metals become fused into a single alloy by extreme heat and pressure to become stronger and more than the two parts that were initially put together. Think of bronze being stronger than copper of steel being stronger than iron. 

You may click initially, and then one will emotionally mature and have to pull or push your partner to a new emotional equilibrium position. On the other hand, you might find someone you are OK with and over time the two of you move to a position of true soul mates for a brief period of time. 

Being on the same emotional page is not static. You have to work at it, sometimes it is very hard work. What may seem fun and ease during the initial stages of marriage, may be hard and challenging once you have a mortgage and bills to play. It may become even harder with small children, or college tuition to pay. Any couple that spends enough time together will have medical challenges to deal with. A good marriage and loving relationship takes work over the entire life of the marriage.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

leftfield said:


> I'm wondering if there are couples out there who really have sexual chemistry? Where both people just truly enjoy experiencing each other? If you have experianced this, is it increadable?


Yes, it does exist. And yes, it is incredible. Of course physical problems can get in the way but you can usually overcome those with sufficient effort and dedication.


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

joannacroc said:


> ...but I can't help but feel that sometimes people act one way at the beginning to reel you in (lots of oral, very passionate, adventurous in bed for example) but over time get lazy...


That's called the bait.

There are really only three types of sex:
1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room.
2. Bedroom Sex - After you've been married for a while and you just have sex in the bedroom.
3. Hallway Sex - After you've been married for many years, and you just pass each other in the hallway and say, "**** you!"


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I haven’t found it yet. It’s my Atlantis. It’s my Roswell. It’s my Sasquatch.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

leftfield said:


> I'm wondering if there are couples out there who really have sexual chemistry? Where both people just truly enjoy experiencing each other? If you have experianced this, is it increadable?


Absolutely, but it's almost always takes time to get there. Both partners have to be givers and enjoy learning and growing together.


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Noman said:


> That's called the bait.
> 
> There are really only three types of sex:
> 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house, in every room.
> ...


You aren't doing it right.


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

AndStilliRise said:


> You aren't doing it right.


@AndStilliRise did I get the order wrong?


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## AndStilliRise (Nov 9, 2020)

Noman said:


> @AndStilliRise did I get the order wrong?


Nope. Just sounds like you are bitter. Many long term marriages have fabulous sex lives.


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## Noman (Oct 17, 2014)

AndStilliRise said:


> Nope. Just sounds like you are bitter. Many long term marriages have fabulous sex lives.


@AndStilliRise Ah, well the first was just an observation that may be a bit cynical, but I think has some truth to it.

The second was just a joke that amuses me.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

Yes. And based on my observations, without that crazy chemistry, I would not stick around.


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## romantic_dreamer (Jun 15, 2021)

I personally believe that if two people truly love each other they will find way to connect sexually. We have all chemistry in including sexual chemistry for 25 years. We had to learnt together our sexual preferences, desires. As we were madly in love it was natural and exciting process for us.


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## mrcool46 (Sep 22, 2021)

Rus47 said:


> Yes and yes and yes


Absolutely there is sexual chemistry, but there also relationship chemistry You can one or you have both. We been together for 51 years. Everything was there the day we met. We started with straight sex and then went to other forms of sex which we still do. Variety is the spice of life


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Bunch of friggin' show-offs ...
🙃


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

leftfield said:


> I'm wondering if there are couples out there who really have sexual chemistry? Where both people just truly enjoy experiencing each other? If you have experianced this, is it increadable?


As a standout thing with all the bells and whistles sexual chemistry I have experienced that and it is a wonderfully delicious way to be with someone.

What's even better is when you have that awfully luscious sexual chemistry, with someone who fits so wonderfully as a companion more than just sexually.




oldshirt said:


> Chemistry is one of those X-Factor things that’s hard to define and hard to objectively describe, but you know it when you experience it.
> 
> And once you have been with someone and had great mutual chemistry, you also know it when you are with someone where there’s not mutual chemistry.


Yes!!!!

And for me, since I experienced that when I was young. I have never settled for being with anyone without that mutual chemistry, for any ongoing sexual relationship.



Young at Heart said:


> As a fan of David Schnarch, who is famous for saying that marriage is the hardest thing two people can do, if done correctly, I would like to point out that marriage and being in emotional connection is not a static thing. One of his famous books describes marriage as a crucible, where two dissimilar metals become fused into a single alloy by extreme heat and pressure to become stronger and more than the two parts that were initially put together. Think of bronze being stronger than copper of steel being stronger than iron.


David Schnarch clearly has never been in an amazingly wonderful marriage. Since in my experience the difference between having a tremendous marriage and one that was terrible. Is the one that required hard work and effort to sustain was a bad marriage that failed. While the long lasting splendid marriage that I have now, has always been a tremendous pleasure to the point that being with my wife has never ever felt like hard work or any effort at all.



> Being on the same emotional page is not static. You have to work at it, sometimes it is very hard work. What may seem fun and ease during the initial stages of marriage, may be hard and challenging once you have a mortgage and bills to play. It may become even harder with small children, or college tuition to pay. Any couple that spends enough time together will have medical challenges to deal with. A good marriage and loving relationship takes work over the entire life of the marriage.


And you believe that? I figure that's what people tend to tell themselves, to try to find reasons to convince themselves that what they have settled for is better than what it actually is.

Yet in my experience, (in no particular order) multiple house moves, time spent apart for military service, kids, kid with an ongoing critical illness, cancer, mortgage other illnesses and injuries, near death multi casualty event, a house fire, bush fires, floods, Covid, redundancy and more. Sharing my life with my wife is the easiest thing I have ever done, it's never been hard work at all. And we have never had anything but a wonderfully rich and frequent shared sex life through all of that.

Seriously you should reconsider the idea that great marriages are hard work, and understand that such claims are mostly illusory.


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## Tasorundo (Apr 1, 2012)

I feel like it is something that happens sometimes. I do not think there is a couple where every time they have ever had sex, it was amazing and each one was in perfect sync with the other. Sometimes we are, sometimes you both move the the same time and bonk foreheads.

**** happens.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

leftfield said:


> I'm wondering if there are couples out there who really have sexual chemistry? Where both people just truly enjoy experiencing each other? If you have experianced this, is it increadable?


I clicked with different women sexually all the time when single. 

After a while had sexual chemistry plus more one night. Then married her. And here we are 38 yrs later.

It's the more part that wins the prize.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

leftfield said:


> Wow, someone needs to make fun of my spelling. That was bad.


Hey @leftfield -- I would like to be clear on something. I was absolutely NOT making fun of your spelling. You asked "I'm wondering if there are couples out there who really have sexual chemistry? Where both people just truly enjoy experiencing each other? If you have experianced this, is it increadable? " and I answered your question, but I just used shorter sentences instead of longer ones. 

I have the most AMAZING sexual chemistry with @Emerging Buddhist , but to be utterly honest, that is a topic between the two of us, and we like to keep it special between us. So I choose not to describe every bit of sexual chemistry and itemize every way in which I enjoy him. But we DO have deep chemistry, and it's been my experience that it has grown, not diminished. In addition, I enjoy every single facet of him, not just physically and sexually, yet the fact that I do enjoy all of his facets enhances the physical and sexual (for me). I tend to be a person who romantically loves a person, and because I see them for who they are--I am attracted to them. So on a purely exterior level, he is gorgeously handsome and moreso every day, but when you add all the other levels--yowza, it's passion! And having experienced this, I find it glorious beyond belief. Now the fact that you misspelled "incredible" is irrelevant to the discussion, in my opinion, but that doesn't mean I have to misspell it too. But since it bothered you, this time I used a synonym (but again, I did spell it correctly).  It's not a reflection of you at all! I'm a Grammar Nazi, and I even have the badge to prove it! LOL


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

leftfield said:


> Wow, someone needs to make fun of my spelling. That was bad.


Don't take it personal, here at our home I am known to be bilingual... English and bad English.


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## JoeStrom7890 (Sep 29, 2021)

Yes they do!

My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and we still connect sexually and emotionally. I think what helped us is that we were extremely close friends before we ever dated so when we did start dating we were already comfortable with each other. We'd been on trips with other friends so we sort of knew what each other's bodies looked like from seeing each other in bathing suits and what not so when we did have sex it wasn't awkward at all. In fact, she remarked how comfortable it felt to be with me. With a little bit of luck, this will last throughout our relationship.


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## JoeStrom7890 (Sep 29, 2021)

Yes they do!

My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and we still connect sexually and emotionally. I think what helped us is that we were extremely close friends before we ever dated so when we did start dating we were already comfortable with each other. We'd been on trips with other friends so we sort of knew what each other's bodies looked like from seeing each other in bathing suits and what not so when we did have sex it wasn't awkward at all. In fact, she remarked how comfortable it felt to be with me. With a little bit of luck, this will last throughout our relationship.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

We have always shared the same thoughts and values when it comes to sex. So we didn't have sex till we married, sex for us is very much part of that love and commitment we have for each other, (and fun as well of course!). We also like similar things in sex and we share the same no no's as well. We have also wanted sex about the same frequency, but Chemistry was always there, it still is. 
God is a great matchmaker!


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## Goobertron (Aug 14, 2012)

I've had that a couple of times. I married my ex-wife and she told me when she asked for a divorce 8 years later than she had orgasmed every time we'd had sex and that I would make some woman very happy one day. She'd started an emotional affair while playing a computer game during the day when I went to work to support us both. She quit her job and got bored so went to what she knew - computer games and enjoying male attention. So even with a sexual connection break ups happen.


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## g62wolf (Oct 5, 2021)

yes, even after age 50 and 15 years together we could not have enough of each other. like a perpetual honeymoon.
but all good things must come to the end, God's ruling


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Goobertron said:


> I've had that a couple of times. I married my ex-wife and she told me when she asked for a divorce 8 years later than she had orgasmed every time we'd had sex and that I would make some woman very happy one day. She'd started an emotional affair while playing a computer game during the day when I went to work to support us both. She quit her job and got bored so went to what she knew - computer games and enjoying male attention. So even with a sexual connection break ups happen.


Everytime in 8 years? Well I don't have any info to the contrary so we'll roll with that. 🙄🙂🙂👍👍

That said, I'll admit to just shaking your tree a bit. 😂😂😂


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Noman said:


> @AndStilliRise Ah, well the first was just an observation that may be a bit cynical, but I think has some truth to it.
> 
> The second was just a joke that amuses me.


That joke never gets old.


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## 346745 (Oct 7, 2020)

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Everytime in 8 years? Well I don't have any info to the contrary so we'll roll with that. 🙄🙂🙂👍👍
> 
> That said, I'll admit to just shaking your tree a bit. 😂😂😂


Each and every time over eight years? Every time? Um, okay ...


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