# Still believing in love but wonder if I am cursed?



## Bbabealicious

Hi Im just wondering if my friend who gave me some heartfelt advice saying I have the worst taste in men or if I am just really bad at relationships and should stop thinking Im gonna find a lifelong companion. I battle with depression and anxiety due to my three failed long term relationships. First ex is father of my two boys;oldest one his and one ours. We were together for 8 years and a few we spent fooling around so about 12ish years. Then my second 4 year relationship was with who I believe to be my true love and also father of my second son. We got ourselves into trouble and ended up separated due to time spent in jail. Third was the latest fiasco, 4 years with a covert narcissist whom I believe may also have Asperger's AKA High functioning Autism. 

I was also engaged around my 18th birthday but that also ended a 2 year young love romance. 

I have relocated from my hometown in an attempt to rebuild my life and met the latest unhealthy ex. I am determined to stay where I moved and still miss my true love who doesnt want to speak to me unless I move back to our hometown and who hates the world. 

I live alone and do not have access to my sons due to govt involvement surrounding my legal problems which were minor and devestating to my livlihood 5 years ago. 

In my new hometown I wish to find 'the one' and start building my own business and family again. Problem is I am not sure I can as I have had no success in the past and Im afraid I may keep repeating the fall in love then fall away from love routine. I think Ive learnt from my mistakes yet this last relationship really took its toll on my self confidence. At the moment Im feeling that the people I love the most have taken me for granted and have no problem cutting me out of their lives and moving on, Im not a horrible person I am diligent, loving and generous but very lonely and confused. I hope that this website will help me sort through all this and finally learn how to make a relationship last and truly find a life worth living!


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## Elijah220

Bbabealicious said:


> Hi Im just wondering if my friend who gave me some heartfelt advice saying I have the worst taste in men or if I am just really bad at relationships and should stop thinking Im gonna find a lifelong companion. I battle with depression and anxiety due to my three failed long term relationships. First ex is father of my two boys;oldest one his and one ours. We were together for 8 years and a few we spent fooling around so about 12ish years. Then my second 4 year relationship was with who I believe to be my true love and also father of my second son. We got ourselves into trouble and ended up separated due to time spent in jail. Third was the latest fiasco, 4 years with a covert narcissist whom I believe may also have Asperger's AKA High functioning Autism.
> 
> I was also engaged around my 18th birthday but that also ended a 2 year young love romance.
> 
> I have relocated from my hometown in an attempt to rebuild my life and met the latest unhealthy ex. I am determined to stay where I moved and still miss my true love who doesnt want to speak to me unless I move back to our hometown and who hates the world.
> 
> I live alone and do not have access to my sons due to govt involvement surrounding my legal problems which were minor and devestating to my livlihood 5 years ago.
> 
> In my new hometown I wish to find 'the one' and start building my own business and family again. Problem is I am not sure I can as I have had no success in the past and Im afraid I may keep repeating the fall in love then fall away from love routine. I think Ive learnt from my mistakes yet this last relationship really took its toll on my self confidence. At the moment Im feeling that the people I love the most have taken me for granted and have no problem cutting me out of their lives and moving on, Im not a horrible person I am diligent, loving and generous but very lonely and confused. I hope that this website will help me sort through all this and finally learn how to make a relationship last and truly find a life worth living!


You need to take time to go to counselling and work on yourself. The therapist can help you figure out what seems to be a fear of being alone that leads you into quick relationships with men who are not good for you.

You also need to forget about men for a while, and focus on getting your children back. They need their mother! And quite frankly I am more than surprised your post is how to find another man and not about how to better yourself and get your kids back.


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## SunCMars

Having anxiety and depression is a sure relationship killer.


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## TJW

Bbabealicious said:


> I have the worst taste in men or if I am just really bad at relationships and should stop thinking Im gonna find a lifelong companion.


Is the first clause true ? Do you have "bad taste" ? Your "taste" can be changed. You have to figure out WHY you pick unworthy men, when you understand WHY you can fix it.

Is the second clause true ? Then learn how to be good at relationships. 



Bbabealicious said:


> I am diligent, loving and generous


These are the attributes required to be good at relationships. If you have these attributes, then you need to reject any relationships made with people who do not reciprocate in these attributes.

It is not a matter of "finding". It is a matter of not "settling" for people who do not treat you with the same dignity and respect you offer them.


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