# Troubled waters



## troubled waters

Hello ! I hope you all can help me ..

My husband and I have been married 6 years and now I am pregnant . We have been having intimacy issues since 2-3 months into our marriage where he wished to have physical intimacy rarely and only on his terms . All my advances were rejected either outright or subtly . He comes from a large family with lots of expectations whereas I am from a nuclear small family . His family is very body image conscious and My MIL constantly critiqued my dressing sense - often forcibly buying me clothes . This coupled with our almost no sex life made me feel extremely lonely and got my self confidence to an all time low . 
After a year of suffering with this alone , I finally told my parents and forcibly got my husband and I into counselling . He was very reluctant and somehow two counsellors later also , kept falling back into his usual practices of with holding sex and not even making me feel like a sexual being . We lived like room mates , often fighting long and hard about how much time we spend with his family and how we have no other social life , or even an active sex life . I wanted kids from the third year or marriage simply so that we could at-least get a move on life and finally engage in regular sex . However , he resisted that as well until finally I had enough and left to Mumbai to stay with my parents for a while . By this time , I had told my in-laws as well about this problem - they were supportive to me but clearly never confronted my husband .
By gods grace , one day something snapped in him and he came to Mumbai asking for forgiveness and a new start promising me he would never do that again . After that I came back to him , and although there wasn’t a dramatic change , at least the conversation was open and we had adequate sex to get me pregnant.
However , the constant pandering to his family’s demands on our time continues . Recently his sister invited him to a leisure trip because her husband refused to take her . My husband didn’t even stand up for me and tell her that he can’t leave his pregnant wife behind. We have no other friends , social life or activities outside of his family and now my husband is slowly realizing that it is affecting our personal life and his professional life as he has no contacts to aid him in business . While it is positive to see that he is changing , it is highly frustrating that all his behavioral changes happen only at his time, pace and benefit - but when I had pointed this out long back, he just stamped on my outlook . I am tired of this marriage with its constant highs and tragic lows - I feel resentful , feel powerless and frustrated that I wasted my time. 

I had moved from UAE to India to fulfill this marriage and had so much trust and hope for our future . Somewhere in 6 years , the love has tarnished , and whatever amends my husband suggests - just verbally of course, there’s no guarantee for his follow through - just sound hollow and lifeless . I think I have lost trust completely , I am definitely at cross roads . I am happy to be pregnant and have a child - I can even be friends with my husband , but somehow unless we move cities or make some dramatic change , I feel I can’t continue to live this way.


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## SunCMars

When a man does not go the well on a regular basis, the well (at some point) produces bitter water, and eventually dries up.

A woman's well needs constant attention, lest it lose its purpose.

Its purpose:

Making babies.
Expelling pee.

Giving pleasure. 
It is the proof in the pudding, (the put-in proof) that one is loved and desired.

All these purposes are important for a healthy life.

It is time to think about, likely seek divorce, and to find a new man.
An appreciative man, a physically and mentally loving man.

He will not change, it is not in him.
His well pump is corroded, it is unfit for duty.
His mind is also crusted over with unkind, unmanly brine.




_Nemesis-_


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## Livvie

Expelling pee??


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## SunCMars

Livvie said:


> Expelling pee??


I tried to put it politely.

A well is an good semblance, IMO.

Yes, it is one of the three functions of her lady hood.
Ridding the body of water from the swell place.

Though, being a humorous Graphic Artist can be a risky endeavor.



_King Brian-_


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