# Things could not get crazier



## beezer85 (Feb 19, 2012)

I am simply wanting thoughts of what I can do. I have already heard all the mean and nasty things people have to say about my husband and those comments do not help. So please after reading this, if you dont have any advice on to help me please dont respond. 

My husband and I have been married 5 years. We have a four year old son. Like most marriages ours has not been necessarily easy. I struggled with PPD and he gained a lot of weight and started showing signs of depression and boredom struck our marriage. We separated about two years into the marriage and both saw other people and decided to give it another shot. So we got back together. In 2010 I had a miscarriage which caused some problems but ultimately we realized that we could get through it and we made it through it. At least I did to be honest I am not sure he has. About 6 months later we decided to try again and so we did. We went on vacation in July and I thought we had a great time. However at the end of July I found out that he slept with the pharmacist at his work. I was very hurt by this of course. However, he said it was a mistake he wants to be with me and we should work it out. We started going to marriage counseling not too long after that. However, money got tight and we coutl not afford it. We used what we learned and attempted to make our marriage work. I thought things were getting better and he said they were too. November 10th I found out that he was still seeing her. We again talked about it and decided that maybe we should try having a open relationship because we both wanted to have fun and were very interested in expermineting with this together.

However, we found out that I was pregnant. The Sunday before Thanksgiving he told me that he just wants to be with me he wants to focus on us and the kids. Then on tuesday night he was supposed to go break this affair off with this woman. However, we got into an argument because I felt that he wanted to be friends with her just because of the financial responsibility she put forth. Essentially what happend was that she put $4,000 and co-signed on his car for him because he wrecked ours and our fiancial situation was not the greatest, she sent me flowers for my birthday behind his back, which he lied to me at the time about saying they were from him, she paid off his speeding ticket, she bought him two brand new iphones among other small things like food. He left Tuesday night only to return Wednesday morning to say he wanted a divorce. He left that day.

We have slept together since he had left. Come December the week of Christmas she started to text me. She invoted me over to her place as a surprise to Brad and my son for Christmas. She wanted to be friends, and wanted us to be one happy family. I told her no that we would not be friends, amicable maybe because she was with my son but not friends. She flipped out and told me to grow up. She then started to tell me to stop seducing my own husband because it was only going to hurt everybody in the end. I told her if she had a problem with my husband than to talk to him about that because she is the one living with him. Well here we are now in February and I have not had any other messages from her. Where we are now is that occasionally my husband and I will hookup and then go for some lunch or just hang out. SHe of course only thinks we are just talking. He is still planning on filing for divorce and I am six months pregnant. 

At first I was sleeping with him just to still feel connected but I have realized that at this point there are no serious emotions that I feel at this point. He and this other woman have signed a lease for a house and move March 1st. He also lost his job in December so is collecting unemployment. I still think we can work out that he is going through a mid life crisis. He tells me he is really happy and its not a midlife crisis. Both of us agree that we do need to go back to counseling to work on us if we want to at least have a good friendship. We also both agree that at this point we are better friends than we are married. In my heart and gut I feel like we are going to be separated for awhile, start working on us and maybe get back together. However, I am moving on even though it hurts because i feel like at this point I have no choice because he has already moved farther than I have. 

Please feel free to ask questions and offer any advice. I would greatly appreciate it.


----------



## cabbage65 (Feb 14, 2012)

can you break up your post? i'll bet more people would read it...


----------



## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

No harsh words for him - though he deserves them.

But for you - wow - stop allowing this man to use you like this. File for divorce and child support.

If you live in an alienation of affection state - sue the OW as well.

Definitely stop sleeping with him.

he's not having having a mid-life crisis - he's having a full blow exit affair. She's bought and paid for him.


----------

