# I think... divorce.



## confused25 (Aug 23, 2012)

After 4 years of marriage and a 2 yr old son, I found out recently that my husband lied about the "diamond ring" he bought me. It supposedly cost 12,000, but what I found out was that it was maybe $200-300.

I confronted my husband and he said that someone frauded him and that its not possible that the ring is fake. I asked for proof and he said that he bought the ring from a buddy of his that is a jewelry designer and paid cash. He said he would track this guy down and get to the bottom of it. Its been 3 weeks, and everytime he says hes busy but hes gonna get to the bottom of things. I know he's lying but I didnt want to make it a scene, but I started to get suspicious.

I checked the rest of the jewelry that him and his mom gave me. A family heirloom diamond bracelet was also fake. Also the diamond earings given to me on the birth of my son were fake.

So there is this Breitling watch he always bragged about that he bought when he was single and working for 10k. Some special edition style. Guess what? FAKE!

So then I called around and found out that his bachelors in business and his executive mba is also a fake. He only has a high school diploma.

His job title of Sales and Marketing executive at some big hot shot car rental corporate company as upper management. FAKE. He worked as a front line car rental sales guy. 

The house him and his family said they bought and then sold.... also a lie. I found letters from their tenant.

On top of all this, he pretty much hijacked my parents small little business with his lies and more or less kicked them out. He says he made it what it is (in 1 year as a lazy bum who hardly even worked there). He started to give them less and less profit and for the past three months he says we made nothing. He added his name to the company as president and has his name also on the bank accounts.

On top of all this, he's a jerk. He is controlling, narrow minded, arrogant, verbally abusive, expects me to do everything at home plus work at the family business everyday and come hom and take care our son at night. 

I have never liked him too much, I hated a lot of things about his personality, his looks like his nose, and just how annoying his whole family is. 

Plus whenever I have lied (white lies) like when someone asks "did u do that thing i asked you to?" and youd reply "yeh i did" but u really didnt to avoid an immediate argument. he would turn it into a big scene and yell at me and make me cry and appologize like crazy.

the only good thing about him would be when hed take me to the movies or out to dinner, but at whose expense? my parents took the hit.

so ive decided to leave him and finish my education because of him i dropped it half way cuz he wanted me to only take care of the baby. 

but im scared, hes like weird and bipolar, hes got anger issues. plus i want to give him and his family my son temporarily until i finish my med school ( 2 years). but i feel really guilty even thinking that. so i thought maybe i coud get him to pay my sons full expenses and have my parents take care of him.

Im so confused about how to do this all and if Im right to do it.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So why did you marry him, and why is there any question about staying with him?

C


----------



## heartsdelight (Apr 2, 2012)

confused25 said:


> I have never liked him too much, I hated a lot of things about his personality, his looks like his nose, and just how annoying his whole family is.


I second that. Why did you marry him then? 

If he is such a skeeze as you outline, I'd definitely be hesitant to just dump my kid with him/his family for two years. One, if he does have mental problems/is a jerk in general, he will probably talk trash about you to his son. I see kids in therapy who cry because their parents just diss the other constantly (it's worse when I can see which parent is really the psycho and which one is trying hard to help). Two, I'm sure that getting your kid back after turning custody over for two years will be a nightmare. Do you want to risk not getting custody back ever? 

I'm not saying don't go back to school, I think that's a great idea (although do you mean like doctor med school or like CNA school?), but I think you really need to sit down with your family and with a lawyer to figure out a solid plan. Asking him to pay full support of your kid while your kid is with your parents probably isn't going to happen. 

Don't stay in a crappy situation, but don't jump out without a life vest first.


----------



## confused25 (Aug 23, 2012)

I had an arranged sort of marriage. Not the typical arranged marriage where you dont have any say or never see him. My parents were recomended him by a family friend. My parents had known his grandparents and said he came from a good family. They knew that his family overall had been well off. When my husband and his family came to visit us the first time, they brought presents and bragged about everything and showed off a lot. My mom liked that I would not have any financial problems in the future which is normally the biggest problem in marriages.

I talked to him for over a year and met him alone and with family a few times and he was romantic and sweet and everything seemed perfect. I even went to his house and stayed there with my sister for a week. 

He just put up so much of a front that I fell for him. I never was into designer this and designer that... and neither was I a gold digger. But who doesnt want a non-stressful financial lifestyle.

But everything from his education to personality was all fake and slowly started revealing itself. Unfortunetly, I found all this out AFTER we got married. He was just a smooth talker and I was nieve. I was only 20 when we started meeting and 21 when I got married and he is 6 years older than me.


I have met with a lawyer and have decided to keep my son. But I am still very afraid of how he is going to react when he finds out. He's never been physically abusive except for grabbing my wrist really hard, but he has anger issues. The lawyer also said that it would be hard to get my son back and I cant risk that. 

I left off half way in medical school (like MD) and am applying for my exams so I can start up again hopefully.


----------



## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

At first I wanted to be on his side when you were talking about the jewlery. If you could be fooled by a nice CZ ring (and at 300 bucks it would be) then you don't have a good eye for jewlert anyway. Not that he should have tried to trick you.

But yea, with the rest of it why did you even marry him. Leave him ASAP.


----------



## donders (May 9, 2012)

confused25 said:


> but im scared, hes like weird and bipolar, hes got anger issues. plus i want to give him and his family my son temporarily until i finish my med school ( 2 years). but i feel really guilty even thinking that. so i thought maybe i coud get him to pay my sons full expenses and have my parents take care of him.
> 
> Im so confused about how to do this all and if Im right to do it.


He's weird, maybe bipolar, he's got anger issues and he's basically lied about everything since the day you met him and you want to "give your son to him and his family for 2 years" and you're wondering if he will pay your son's full expenses for that entire time.

I'm thinking that leaving your son in his care and expecting him to pay all the bills so you can do your last 2 years of med school is probably not the best idea in the world.

Nor does it make any sense. Med school is 2 years, then you have an internship in your chosen specialty for 3-4 years and then you're going to start working as a doctor.

If you can't care for your son properly now, why would it be any different then?


----------



## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

He is a fraud. He has not been the victim of fraud, you and your parents have. Call a lawyer about the business and get a good accountant to look through the books. If he has misrepresented himself to get the job in your parents business he is in serious doo doo. Also see this link.
Grandiose delusions - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Do not give him your son.


----------



## Pseudonymousse (Oct 3, 2012)

confused25 said:


> but im scared, hes like weird and bipolar, hes got anger issues. plus i want to give him and his family my son temporarily until i finish my med school ( 2 years). but i feel really guilty even thinking that. so i thought maybe i coud get him to pay my sons full expenses and have my parents take care of him.
> 
> Im so confused about how to do this all and if Im right to do it.


Your first priority should be your child. He's a tremendous liar, weird, bipolar with anger issues, and you feel comfortable leaving your child with him??? I would think that's the last situation in the world any mother would leave their kid in. Your child is your responsibility, especially since he's such an obviously irresponsible and self-serving person (he took over your parents business and made himself president!?). You married him. You had a child with him. You know he's not responsible. You can't just abandon the child for 2 years because its convenient to you. Put the child first. Get the kid and yourself out of that situation. Get your parents business back into their hands and kick him out of it. Once you have all of that sorted, go back to school and finish your education. Perhaps you and your child can live with your parents while you do that? That's an option, but I wouldn't even consider leaving a child with the man you just described.


----------

