# My husband threatened to leave if i walked away from an argument



## younglove1 (Jul 2, 2011)

A few days ago my husband and I started to argue.. I really can't remember why or what it was even about but he slipped into old habits (that I thought we had worked out) and called me a rude name. I then told him I would not have the discussion while we were this mad at each other and walked away. He followed and after a few times of changing direction told me that if I walked away one more time we were over. I looked at him and said I need time to cool down and walked away. He came after yelling how I chose this and its my fault when we get divorced and tried to make me feel guilty. So I told him to stop playing the blame game that it would be both of our faults. Eventually I couldn't help but respond to the arguing and we fought it out and after he just acted like it didn't happen. We haven't talked about it since. But I don't know what to do. When we first got married he used to tell me to get out or leave a lot and I told him and myself if he said it again I was leaving but now after so long of thinking we had worked this out I find myself wanting to give him another chance.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

younglove1 said:


> A few days ago my husband and I started to argue.. I really can't remember why or what it was even about but he slipped into old habits (that I thought we had worked out) and called me a rude name. I then told him I would not have the discussion while we were this mad at each other and walked away. He followed and after a few times of changing direction told me that if I walked away one more time we were over. I looked at him and said I need time to cool down and walked away. He came after yelling how I chose this and its my fault when we get divorced and tried to make me feel guilty. So I told him to stop playing the blame game that it would be both of our faults. Eventually I couldn't help but respond to the arguing and we fought it out and after he just acted like it didn't happen. We haven't talked about it since. But I don't know what to do. When we first got married he used to tell me to get out or leave a lot and I told him and myself if he said it again I was leaving but now after so long of thinking we had worked this out I find myself wanting to give him another chance.


Walk away he doesn't own you! If you need to cool down that's healthy behavior. If he divorces you don't let the door hit him on the way out...he has issues. Anger issues. Those are bad. Stand up to him and don't back down... he's all talk most likely. Its emotional blackmail is what he's doing.


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## younglove1 (Jul 2, 2011)

But even if he is all talk who is to say he won't do it again and again and again ( like in the past) I don't really want a relationship like that but I don't want to make a desicion to hastily


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

younglove1 said:


> But even if he is all talk who is to say he won't do it again and again and again ( like in the past) I don't really want a relationship like that but I don't want to make a desicion to hastily


Do what again and again? Threaten to divorce? Name calling?


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Go to MC so a professional can mediate for the both of you. You both obviously have issues you need to communicate and have a difficult time doing so. It will be the best money you've ever spent.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

younglove1 said:


> But even if he is all talk who is to say he won't do it again and again and again ( like in the past) I don't really want a relationship like that but I don't want to make a desicion to hastily


This is disrespectful communication for whatever reason. My wife did this and it almost sunk our marriage. We went to counseling and now we have an agreement not to speak disrespectfully to each other. Not a hundred percent fixed but doing a lot better.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

its one thing to say I am overwhelmed and need some time to think lets continue this discussion later.


but to just up and walk out in the middle is very disrespectfull and I won't take that its passive agressive and most time the person who walked away never brings it up again like they won.


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## accept (Dec 1, 2011)

You both have to agree to stop threatening. Get out and leave is no talk between a couple. Calling rude names can happen in the heat of the moment especially if one is used to it. I dont think you need counselling yet. Write him a letter. Tell him that you both should stop threatening. Once you call each other names its not a discussion anymore but a fight. But you cant just let a fight linger on. You have to finish and make up. You yourself say it was over something you cant remember. Most likely over nothing. But people are not rational they fight over nothing. You will get over it.


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## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

Everyone has arguments in their relationship and the advice any person would give before it gets to heated is to walk away have a time out cool down and then sit and talk civily. Your husband aint going nowhere if he meant what he said it would have been over a long time ago. Does he still tell you to leave and get out? If he does tell him straight your not going if he wants to get rid of you so bad then he should leave. Don't give in when he says to you its over if you walk away believe me once you give in thats his ticket to use that line all the time. If you do have an argument go to another room or go out the house for a walk clear your head the last thing you want is to say some regrettable stuff and wishing you didn't. Good luck.


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