# question for ladies about friend zone



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

This is not a marriage question, but a life after divorce question... Have there ever been any men that you've known for a long time and were firmly in the friend zone, but later in life circumstances changed and you'd consider dating them? And/or if it were just a "friendly date" (but you've never had a one on one friendly date with them before) would you think anything of it, just friends or potential romantic interest?

Obviously I'm asking because it probably relevant to me...


----------



## not.a.fool (Jan 27, 2013)

No, I would never change up and have a friend as a partner, ever. I find it much easier to find a date then a friend, I wouldn't ruin my friendship for a relationship, friends are forever..relationships are what they are and I would hate to lose a friend to one.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

not.a.fool said:


> No, I would never change up and have a friend as a partner, ever. I find it much easier to find a date then a friend, I wouldn't ruin my friendship for a relationship, friends are forever..relationships are what they are and I would hate to lose a friend to one.


Would it be different if it were just an acquaintance you've known for a long time? A friend of a friend that you haven't even stayed in touch with for almost a decade?

I'm wondering because it's not that I think it's jeopardizing a current friendship, but it could be a future friendship. Or it could be more, but I just want to get to know her a little more and enjoy her company at this point. I suppose I'm answering my own questions, and I don't want to overthink anything either.


----------



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Hi Lon,
Never say never!
I have a friend who has just gone through a divorce who has recently started dating someone who has been in the friend zone for 10 years and its going well.
Just go with the flow, and as you said, try not to over think it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I was friends with SO from the time we were kids until we lost touch in college.
When he came back into my life I happily accepted him as a romantic partner because it felt natural,sexy,and safe


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Lon said:


> Would it be different if it were just an acquaintance you've known for a long time? A friend of a friend that you haven't even stayed in touch with for almost a decade?


If this is true, then you're not in the friend zone. You're in the aquaintance you don't know that well but might like to know better zone.


----------



## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My best friend is now dating someone she was friends with for 10 years. Not close mind you but still more a friend than a date.


----------



## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I would never date a friend, never ever. I love my friends and only have a handful of them. Reguardless of if they were attracted to me or whatever, I just don't feel romantic towards them in any way, shape or form. My friends have been friend zoned for almost 20 years, been completely smashed around them and never once has anything even remotely sexual happened between us. They've always respected my boundaries and never pushed to be more than friends.

Probably helps that as far as I know they've never been attracted to me, and I've never been attracted to them lol. Which is just fine with me


----------



## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

A man here.

I had " friend zoned " my wife for five years before we eventually got together.
Today we are happily married.
Those rules don't apply to everyone.

If you are male,there are some simple steps to get oneself out of the dreaded " friendzone."


----------



## happysnappy (Jan 8, 2013)

I have lots of guy friends and they are friend zoned because i will never be interested in dating them for one reason or another. Acquaintances are a while different ball game


----------



## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I had a good guy friend for several years. We decided to take a trip together as friends and crossed over. I think it could have worked but he wasn't into me that way after all - was swept up in the moment. Now after a breather to move past that, we're back to friends.

I think it's possible - it can be great to be friends first - the trust and camaraderie already exist. Sometimes there just isn't chemistry hence the friend zone. Give it a shot.


----------



## not.a.fool (Jan 27, 2013)

Yes, it would, if it were someone I knew, but not well, yes, then yes I would be up for more.


----------



## NelsonTrouble (Jan 5, 2013)

I have two close friends that had been friends for over 20 years and never anything romantic between them, after both having families then divorcing, they realized that they were destined to be together and believe that they are experiencing the truest of true loves. 

This makes me think that anything in life is possible.


----------



## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

I have two guy friends that I've known for years, and I can't imagine dating either of them. I'll never be able to see them in a romantic light. 

Although, I 'friend zoned' my current partner for about six months before we got together, so I guess it just depends on the person/situation.


----------



## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I was friends with my STBXH for 9 years before we started dating and then got married. Shame. The marriage sucked and I lost a good friend. 

To this day he says I only went out with him because I was getting over my prior relationship and he shouldn't have gone out with me. I'll be the first to agree with him on that.


----------



## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Well just got back from a very nice evening with my acquaintance, had a very enjoyable time, nice conversation, very comfortable being myself (or as close to for two people just getting to know each other a little), watched a decent movie together, it was exactly what I needed and felt right. We didn't really talk about anything too serious, I don't think I'm firmly planted in the friend zone but I'm sure I have her respect, and above all I am confident she had just as good a time as I did, I look forward to the next chance to spend time with her and I will try not to cling too much to the big smile on my face from just having a really stress-free pleasant "date".

I am glad for you replies on this thread (and the one I had going on the men's clubhouse) because it was a good place for me to spew all kinds of anxious thoughts and just let go out IRL.


----------



## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> If you are male,there are some simple steps to get oneself out of the dreaded " friendzone."


Eagerly awaiting to hear this....


----------



## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Awesome Lon!


----------



## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

Glad you had a good time. I was friends with my husband for about a year. I don't get the 'friend zone' thing myself.


----------



## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

If there had been an attraction before 9/10 they are going to end up in a relationship of some sort. The instances in which the friendship remains platonic is when both people never had feelings for each other, of course things can change. However most of these relationships that come from friendships start because curiosity gets to people and in addition they have both liked each other before or still find each other appealing.


----------



## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

I met my stbxw a few years before we started dating and we couldn't stand each other.

She was my friend's gf at the time. 

Then a mutual friend died, people went away to college,
and there we were. I never would of thought it, but it happened.

I also know a guy who just got married to the widow
of his best friend who passed away suddenly a few years back.

Got another friend who met a gal 9 years older than him
and what did he do? Moved in with her in GA and they've been
happy ever since.

There really are no rules to how things happen.

I have found that the more I try and manipulate the
situation, the more it blows up in my face. I would submit that
it's better to just enjoy life in general, be yourself and let the
chips fall where they may. See where life takes you, etc.

Which is the exact opposite of what a single man wants to hear
when he's trying to get laid.


----------

