# So in the end... What Do We Married Men Want???



## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

First Thread, well atleast the first time i've started my own thread, i've responded to others, but i think i am now due.

As an 11 year married vet, father of 3 from Philly, i have to ask myself what do i or other married men want in our marriage. :scratchhead: Its more to it than i originally thought. See guys are different than ladies, some things we need less of than women, some obviously we need more of. So this is like a watered down, cliff notes version of what men, or atleast this man wants.

So for myself i want to be loved, loved the way i was when she first fell in love with me, ofcourse assuming i don't do anything to jeapordise this affection. I can say also say that I wish to have the peace of mind marriage *should* bring. Now of course we all have concerns here and there, its only natural. But i mean overall, i should feel like i'm atleast in a good place if this is indeed what i wanted marriage to be. I want to be able to laugh and joke with my wife... the same way i did when we were dating. I want to be appreciated and respected by my wife ( assuming i'm doing the things i need to keep said respect ). I need to feel as though i'm head of the household, and i want to make it clear, i don't say this in a disrespectful, chauvinistic sort a way. I mean it in a way of that my wife allows me to have a "majority" say in the grande scheme of things in regards to how our family operates. I'd like to make love...often. I'm 36, and i think i am more hornier now, then when we first got married when i was 25. Men are supposed to peak at 18. I know woemn see the "often" part differently than us because i has more to do emotionally with them as it is physical to us, and trust me, i'm come along way to understand this better. But like any other marriage, you go through your ebbs and flows of quantity and i think you'll find few married men who are totally satisfied with how much they make love. But once again, i realize this has alot to do with how we go about pursuing our wives into having more sex with us.

I know i may get hammered for alot of this, but i hope i worded my words carefully enough not to put off to many of the ladies on here.

Thoughts?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Rob,

Willard Harley has the 5 things you are likely NOT to get.

1) Sexual fulfillment (and this means "sexy sex" - with the idea that she wants you frequently)

2) Playmate/companion - Scannerguard says this too. We simply want to have fun - and have our wives share some of our interests - especially where we're passionate. This could be sports, outdoor stuff, etc. This is why the chicks that can talk football always get dates - no matter how fat

3) Admiration - one of the reasons men lie about their money, boats, etc. to attract women in the first place

4) Domestic support - yes, we like the place kept up. Makes us feel like we're moving forward in life when things are better when we get home than when we left

5) Attractiveness - this doesn't mean supermodel. It means doing what you can with what you have.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Rob774 said:


> So for myself i want to be loved, loved the way i was when she first fell in love with me, ofcourse assuming i don't do anything to jeapordise this affection. I can say also say that I wish to have the peace of mind marriage *should* bring.


That says it all right there. That is what I want. Importantly, I need her to want those things too. In spite of career, kids, and everything else that life will throw at you, I want a marriage partner that wants _the marriage_ to be happy and successful too.

Great first thread, Rob.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

I don't know why you would think your desires would be criticized. They are your wants and they don't even seem hyper critical or demanding. I think wanting to be loved for who you are is something that all of us want.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

1. Sex 

2. nurturing (we eat, we require sleep, we get sick)

3. Reasonably financially responsible

4. loyal

5. Anything else is gravy.


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## Christine11 (Sep 13, 2010)

I don't have a problem with your "Head of the Household" comment as long as I, as the woman, gets respected and cherished. I also agree with the sex requirement. I get the feeling that a lot of people think because they are married sex goes out the window. I'll give you, it gets harder to find the time and privacy (if you have children and other obligations, which we all have) but it is possible. 

I take great pride in keeping myself up but my husband thinks I spend too much time in the bathroom (yeah he's right but the older you get the longer it takes to keep the wrinkles away, ha ha). I don't think he appreciates my effort (but he certainly would be displeased if I looked like some old bat).

Anyway, I think ultimately we all want the same, no matter if it's men or women. Somebody to share your life with and have fun with (as often as you can) who also is attractive to you.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

All those other posts list a lot of nice things to have, and yes, I crave them too, but one thing that my W gives me that I couldn't get from any other:

PEACE OF MIND.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Rob774 said:


> I know i may get hammered for alot of this, but i hope i worded my words carefully enough not to put off to many of the ladies on here.
> 
> Thoughts?


Not sure why you think you'd get hammered for it. Aside from the head of household thing, I think my husband would agree with what you say.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

The one and only thing that I think he wants that I don't is a measure of complacency. And I don't mean that in an intent to take for granted kind of way. But I think he would like a carefree situation in which he doesn't have to THINK to much. It can kind of just autopilot along. Once I figured that out, and decided I was willing to provide problem solving leadership, and stopped resenting what I thought was inaction, things improved a lot.

Is that similar to what F102 is calling peace of mind?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

A mute 5'9" 27 year old with double D's who cooks like Martha Stewart, screws like Jenna Jameson and owns a bar.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Brennan said:


> A mute 5'9" 27 year old with double D's who cooks like Martha Stewart, screws like Jenna Jameson and owns a bar.


With a flat head to set your beer on


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Yeah, I know Conrad.
In my next lifetime, I will be a lesbian. Men are too complicated. They all claim to be "simple" but they aren't.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Brennan,

You and I are more alike than I thought - I want to come back as lesbian too!!!! A hot one with a hot partner!!!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Brennan said:


> Yeah, I know Conrad.
> In my next lifetime, I will be a lesbian. Men are too complicated. They all claim to be "simple" but they aren't.


I never said I was simple .... I said I was easy.


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## sntdwn2ufrmhvn (May 20, 2010)

i find it weird that most women don't want to have sex often, with us it's the other way around. i'd prefer everyday, and he'd be fine with once a week, not me thats not enough!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I want to be left alone while I'm in the bathroom.

And yes - as a matter of fact - I AM reading.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Christine11 said:


> I don't have a problem with your "Head of the Household" comment as long as I, *as the woman, gets respected and cherished. I also agree with the sex requirement*. I get the feeling that a lot of people think because they are married sex goes out the window. I'll give you, it gets harder to find the time and privacy (if you have children and other obligations, which we all have) but it is possible.
> Anyway, I think ultimately we all want the same, no matter if it's men or women. Somebody to share your life with and have fun with (as often as you can) who also is attractive to you.


No doubt, i adore my wife. And trust me, she does whatever she wants. I just happen to want more sex than she does. I'm waiting for her to peak so she can jump me everyday.



F-102 said:


> All those other posts list a lot of nice things to have, and yes, I crave them too, but one thing that my W gives me that I couldn't get from any other:
> 
> *PEACE OF MIND*.


Amazing at how many people take this for granted. Peace of mind is the difference between your husband coming straight home or him going to the bar after work.



vthomeschoolmom said:


> Not sure why you think you'd get hammered for it. Aside from the head of household thing, I think my husband would agree with what you say.


I just wanted word this carefully, and not make it seem like my wife is my servant who obeys all my wishes. I mean it in a biblical sense, just not Old Testament biblical sense.



sntdwn2ufrmhvn said:


> i find it weird that most women don't want to have sex often, with us it's the other way around. i'd prefer everyday, and he'd be fine with once a week, not me thats not enough!


Even i don't know if i'd be down everyday. Every other day would be cool though.

I'm shocked to find my thread at the top. AFter the first few days when nobody responded. I was like..."Oh boy, i've done put people off on here." But to me, its just about the simple things in life. I don't need to be rich, live in an enormous house. I just want a few nice things, but more importantly, i want to have a marriage that means something, not just a status. I've watched alot of close families near to us, not make it, and for alot of different reasons, so you can't address just one. That's why i come here, i give advice, but i also read what a lot of women here are saying about their needs, and i try to go home with that thought and apply it to my wife,


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Conrad said:


> Willard Harley has the 5 things you are likely NOT to get.
> 
> *1)* Sexual fulfillment (and this means "sexy sex" - with the idea that she wants you frequently)
> 
> ...


 I would think that most marraiges would have at least 3 of these ! 

I would say my husband gets all 5. He would never post, but he would say he is just a "Simple Man", wanting a faithful wife, who is always honest before him, wanting to spend time with him , (all of the 5 points below), a caring attentive mother to the children (my biggest struggle), a decent cook, and good with $$ to avoid financial hardships. 

*1)* More than his fill on this one -but so true, not always this way. I am happily making up for lost time. 
*2)* we share alot of interests, I hate sports though, thankfully so does he, so this works for us.
*3)* He has never lied to impress, I respect that. I admire him for other things . When guys make themselves sound too good to be true, they generally are. I prefer a humble man, honest in all things. 
*4)* I am particular about my house being in order, dishes put away, carpet clean, can't sleep without "my work" being done. 
*5)* I care how I look before him. More these days than in the past though. Once the sex drive increased, so did my awareness of how I can use this one.


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## marco100 (Nov 25, 2010)

Brennan said:


> A mute 5'9" 27 year old with double D's who cooks like Martha Stewart, screws like Jenna Jameson and owns a bar.


Also it would be nice if she knows her way around a basin wrench.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I would think that most marraiges would have at least 3 of these !
> 
> I would say my husband gets all 5. He would never post, but he would say he is just a "Simple Man", wanting a faithful wife, who is always honest before him, wanting to spend time with him , (all of the 5 points below), a caring attentive mother to the children (my biggest struggle), a decent cook, and good with $$ to avoid financial hardships.
> 
> ...


SA,

What makes you think the men who post here (and I especially mean those on posts 1-10) get 3 of these?

I don't hear about much sexual fulfillment. I don't hear about much attractiveness (which is what the weight gain threads are all about), I hear little about companionship, as I do hear much about "into the kids".

Tell me what you're reading.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Conrad said:


> SA,
> 
> What makes you think the men who post here (and I especially mean those on posts 1-10) get 3 of these?


I'm sorry, I meant marraiges in general -in society as a whole, I did not mean marraiges HERE. I agree with you in reference to this board, but that was taken from a book and I would bet the majority of marraiges have 3 of those 5. Just my guess is all. 

I think I am posting too much in this clubhouse today , I need to curb this activity.


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## jamesa (Oct 22, 2010)

I just want a loving, loyal wife and a harem. No more.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I'm sorry, I meant marraiges in general -in society as a whole, I did not mean marraiges HERE. I agree with you in reference to this board, but that was taken from a book and I would bet the majority of marraiges have 3 of those 5. Just my guess is all.
> 
> I think I am posting too much in this clubhouse today , I need to curb this activity.


It's a brutal crowd!


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