# what would you do



## kea2011 (Jun 6, 2012)

This is the situation and I am sorry if it is too long but I dont know what else to do.

Me and my husband let a friend stay with us. This friend happens to be female. Since than I have been having issues with jealousy and certain things look really bad. For a little bit, almost every time I came home from work, either at lunch or at the end of my work day, they (my husband and her) would always be in the kitchen together so I am not able to see them or whats going on until I am in the house, or they will sitting so close to each other they mind as well be cuddling. I spoke with my husband about how it bothered me and since then this has been corrected. I had noticed that he would constantly stare at her and I brought that up and started pointing it out when it happens and he said he was just staring off into space and that has been corrected.

But here is the most recent things, they are together when I am at work, but when I am off work, me and my husband cant do anything with out her. I have gotten an hour and a half of alone time, outside of bedtime, with my husband and he claims hes just being nice. If he says hes going to bed shes going up not to long after, if she goes upstairs to change, hes wanting to go take a shower, we were supposed to run some errands alone but got hungry half way through and well instead of us just having that alone time like he said he wanted we had to go pick her up and bring us with us. When we got to the pet store, we wanted a fish, and when we decided what we wanted and what we needed, he asks me to go get a cart, which is less than two min round trip, but by the time I turned around they were out of site and he claims he just didnt want to hold the stuff. Then this past Tuesday, it was my day off, she emailed my husband on facebook from her room while we were in bed asking if he was still awake.

He says that he loves me more than anything and does not want to loose me and there is a reason he chose me. He says that me feeling this way is killing him because I mean more to him then anything else in the world.

But what can I do? I just cant shake that little voice saying something is wrong. I love him so much and I want do know that that voice is wrong. I even talked to her and I emailed her when I found out about her messaging him saying not to because it is inappropriate. Should we start counseling now? or should we try to work on it together with trying to reconnect with dates and stuff like that for a little bit first? Please don't call me names or be super harsh towards me. Just comment on thoughts on the situation on how it looks and what should be the best route.


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## caladan (Nov 2, 2012)

Whose friend is this if I may ask?

Bottom line - your husband is your best friend. Have a word. Tell him you're uncomfortable with this.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I can't remember where I read it, but it was an article about why it is NEVER a good idea for a female 'friend' or sister or anything else to move into your house with you and your husband.

Your friend needs to move out.


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

Yep. She has to go if its causing problems in your marriage. Sounds to me like some serious flirting is going on. Kind of rude to message him in FB from the other room when he is with you. Who is this so called friend?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ask him who his priority is? Who's feelings come first? Because he keeps putting hers above yours, and that isn't ok.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Also read this book. You AND your husband

Not Just Friends


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

A few questions:

How old are you?
How old is husband?
How long have you two been married?
How long (exactly) has 'friend' been living with you?
Whose friend was she ORIGINALLY: yours or hubby's?
Does 'friend' pay rent?
How long was 'friend' SUPPOSED to be staying?
Has husband EVER (even when dating) given you cause to believe he's cheated (even just flirting)?
What did 'friend' say about texting your hubby being 'inappropriate'?
Does hubby work?
Does 'friend' work?


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## LdyVenus (Dec 1, 2012)

She needs to go NOW! It may already be too late.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

Do not wait a moment longer with getting her out of the house. Explain to her and explain to him what you’re having a problem with and that you hope you’re wrong. They can help prove to you your wrong by not communicating with each other unless your there from now on. No private text or emails or calls or meetings. If they care about you, they will not make excuses but do as you ask. My best friend from 6th grade slept with my husband, matron of honor for my wedding. My brother slept with his SILl when she moved in with them. Get her out fast.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Interesting that this is posted in the considering divorce section.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

In the mind of a male, there are only three kinds of women. There are blood relatives who are usually not sexual targets. There are women who aren't sexual targets by reason of their homeliness. The rest are sexually interesting. It is bad, nay-awful, practice to put another female in close, unsupervised proximity to your husband. It is just begging for trouble. Unless this woman is ugly as homemade sin, she is at least somewhat a sexual temptation for your husband. If he says otherwise, he's lying or he's gay. Women value security and no woman values security more than a woman who doesn't have any. She's staying with y'all because she can't afford her own place...because she lacks security? You have a home of your own and a husband and she doesn't? You get where this is going? This isn't about trust. It's about understanding the power of human nature and protecting something you value. She needs to find other living arrangements and the sooner, the better. This is the sort of situation the devil loves to play around in.


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## kea2011 (Jun 6, 2012)

How old are you? 27
How old is husband? 22
How long have you two been married? a year and a half
How long (exactly) has 'friend' been living with you? three weeks
Whose friend was she ORIGINALLY: yours or hubby's? we met about the same time
Does 'friend' pay rent? no
How long was 'friend' SUPPOSED to be staying? until she gets on her feet
Has husband EVER (even when dating) given you cause to believe he's cheated (even just flirting)? no
What did 'friend' say about texting your hubby being 'inappropriate'? she said ok
Does hubby work? hes military
Does 'friend' work? no


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## doureallycare2 (Dec 10, 2012)

so what are you doing now?


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