# Knows fathers day will be a letdown



## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

Of the fathers here, who already knows ull be letdown by ur wife on Sunday? My kids r relatively young and even the cutest drawing a hug and a kiss is more than ok from them.
But id like a little appreciation from my wife at least on that day. let me be home myself for a good part of the day, take the kids somewhere let me relax and of course screw my brains out that night. 
Shes terrible on special occasions and puts little thought into it. already this Saturday she has to go to a kids bday party for a coworker of hers and is insisting on dragging me along w the kids. i said let me stay home since fathers day is next day (im home by myself maybe twice a yr max) - she insists i come too. 
I try to make a big deal out of mothers day - let her sleep in breakfast in bed and take kids somewhere so she can relax.
Im just ranting and wondering whose in my boat.
And for any women who will post and will do all that i wished above for their husband this Sunday including the hot sex - i hate you lol.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Does she do things for other holidays? Why can't you be alone? Just say you're not going. She can't make you go. Seriously. Say NO.

Father's Day here is fun because it sometimes falls on our anniversary which is also my birthday. HA! I hate sharing that day with Father's Day! This year my mom wants to come up, so...it will be......eh :/


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

that_girl said:


> Does she do things for other holidays? Why can't you be alone? Just say you're not going. She can't make you go. Seriously. Say NO.
> 
> Father's Day here is fun because it sometimes falls on our anniversary which is also my birthday. HA! I hate sharing that day with Father's Day! This year my mom wants to come up, so...it will be......eh :/


Not really. on Christmas a few presents thats about it. we share a bday so that gets diluted.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Why don't you make Father's Day something YOU want to do? Plan it yourself because you know she isn't going to. That's just how she is. So...YOU do it. I planned my own shet for a long time LOL! No one else was...so why not? I did what I wanted to do and screw the rest.

And don't go to the party. You are a GROWN MAN. Dude.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Sorry, but there is no way in hell I would be drug against my will to listen to a bunch of screaming kids at my wife's co workers kids b-day party. Sometimes you just have to a d*ck to get your point across. Best of luck man.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't even like my own kid's bday parties :lol: 2 hour max! Then, buhbye.

Make this your weekend, effess! WOOT! DO IT!


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Awww, don't hate!! 
Yes, I told my hubby, sorry that I won't be getting him anything for Dad's day other than breakfast in bed & a world-class blow-job
He seemed good with that! 
I totally agree with that_girl- be sweet but firm.."Babe, I decided I'm staying back on Saturday. I really need some time to myself, I'm sure you understand!"
And do it. She might be miffed at first, but on some level she doesn't blame you. 
Let her get over it- she'll be fine! She'll also like that she can't tell you what to do.
It's YOUR weekend. Do what you need to enjoy it, seriously! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I planned my Mother's Day. Why? Because there were things I wanted to do and I knew Hubs can't read my mind. He was all for it and we had a GREAT day! (We drove around and found the Wonder Years House...my fave show...and ate at the first Bob's Big Boy! We even sat in the same booth the BEATLES ate in in 1965!  Great day!!)

Gotta take initiative. No pouting. You know how she is...hubs is kinda the same. He will plan breakfast and flowers...but I wanna go DO something...ya know? I wasn't upset..I just had my day MY way


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Other kids birthday parties are where you get to dump your kids for a couple of hours and go have the house to yourself.

You don`t have your wife trained properly.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

karma*girl said:


> Let her get over it- she'll be fine! She'll also like that she can't tell you what to do.
> It's YOUR weekend. Do what you need to enjoy it, seriously!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


YES! The wife will be miffed but the respect will grow.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Other kids birthday parties are where you get to dump your kids for a couple of hours and go have the house to yourself.
> 
> You don`t have your wife trained properly.


Not any more! Parents want to stay and we have to feed them! Which I don't. :lol: But seriously, people hang around.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Next Mother's Day plan her day for her. Tell her she is going to sit in the cart and watch you play 18 holes. Insist that she go. LOL


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

Joe has a good point! 
...Again, she'll be annoyed but if you word it nicely, and stick to your guns, that's a good thing!
If I get irritated in those situations, my H stays all sweet, even if I turn into a grump- he sticks to what he says..all the while he's being so nice & loving! It makes it tough to stay pissy.
Plus, you're right & she knows it. You deserve that time. 
I want a report after this weekend!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Why don't you make Father's Day something YOU want to do? Plan it yourself because you know she isn't going to. That's just how she is. So...YOU do it. I planned my own shet for a long time LOL! No one else was...so why not? I did what I wanted to do and screw the rest.
> 
> And don't go to the party. You are a GROWN MAN. Dude.


:iagree:

exactly what I was thinking!

Tell her "No" for the birthday party. Tell her you want this weekend just for you. There's nothing wrong with having your "own" time. Your tone can still be respectful. She's grown folk, she can handle it. 

When H and I were younger, early years of living together, we used to have agreed "ME" days. Sometimes I feel I was wiser about my relationship back in my early 20's than I've been in my 30's! Anyway, it was a random day we'd pick to have just every so often - usually once every few months - whereby we spent the day alone. I don't mean with friends or anyone else, just in our own company. Some "ME" days I had were going to see a documentary at the cinema; day spa treatment; cafe with a good book for a few hours; having the house to myself to watch my favorite movies. Hubs' ME days consisted of going to the pool hall; catching a movie; going surfing ........we'd tell each other in advance "I want to have a ME day that weekend" and it was all cool. It wasn't both of us having a ME day, one usually took care of the groceries or visited family or whatever it was. The opposite to ME days, we also had (prior to being married) "Boyfriend/Girlfriend days" which were basically dates that the other arranged. Usually a full day affair of surprises and outings lined up. We'd give each other the heads up when we were planning these too. "Boyfriend day is coming up..." I know it sounds cheesy but it was actually a good thing. 

So maybe you need to arrange your own "ME" day. Maybe your wife might like to have her own "ME" day at some point too.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I know this is different to Father's Day and you want her to consider you... but maybe you need to consider you first. Set the example, my friend. She can't drag you anywhere. Time for some changes if you're not happy with how some things are panning out.


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## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

Hey don't feel down, both me and H have missed many fathers and mothers days and I used to be the miserable one as a result there was one post mothers day I went out to buy myself a very expensive gift and showed it to H saying "how is my mother's day gift to myself" and he went "oh, very nice" and lots of thinking after that. Since then I'm getting lovely things for mother's day Try it it may work


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

The respect for Hubs SWELLED when we were separated and he didn't let me sway his decisions. I was upset on the outside but inside, I was like, "YOU GO, BABY! YES!"

Take a stand. It ends now.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

For me, my son is with the ex this fathers day but in separation agreement I get to have time with him. At first I was thinking will be nice to have the day to myself, but today I realized I am going to miss him that day, and so now I think I will plan to do something fun with him, take him out mini-golfing or to the batting cages, take him somewhere fun for supper then drop him back off with his mother, and go home, light some candles and have some romantic time with just me and my two hands. (yes lame, but if I plan it in advance it becomes a little more exciting somehow).


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## JoeRockStar (Jun 5, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Why don't you make Father's Day something YOU want to do? Plan it yourself because you know she isn't going to. That's just how she is. So...YOU do it. I planned my own shet for a long time LOL! No one else was...so why not? I did what I wanted to do and screw the rest.
> 
> And don't go to the party. You are a GROWN MAN. Dude.


^^Well said that_girl!

Effess, only YOU are responsible for your happiness. We'd all love for our spouses to do what we want them to, but since you know she's not, plan YOURSELF a nice Father's Day!


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Yikes! It's this Sunday. I'll probably be laid up in bed since I've been overdoing things for my daughters grad party that's tomorrow.

Luckily hubby more then understands. I'll have to tell him we are postponing fathers day until my neck feels better and I'm out of bed. Usually it takes 2-4 weeks in bed to recover from pushing my limits.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

effess said:


> already this Saturday she has to go to a kids bday party for a coworker of hers and is insisting on dragging me along w the kids. i said let me stay home since fathers day is next day (im home by myself maybe twice a yr max) - she insists i come too.


No you don't have to go and neither does she. Father's day can be a kind of zenith for the anti-marriage anti-husband forces out there and believe me they are out there. Wrecking fathers day is their delight

After being quiet for over nine months, my wife's mother picked the week before father's day to start putting a bunch of demands on my wife. Asked my wife to go out with her all day Saturday, leaving me with our three little kids at swim meet that I'm already committed to officiate. So my wife says "I'll think about it" because she has no boundaries with her mom and she can't say no. So mom goes out and buys her a ticket anyway then tries to guilt her into going. And my wife doesn't bother to share any of this with me.

So my wife couldn't sleep last night and when I asked what was on her mind, she told me the situation. I said "Look, I need you help me with the kids and our activities and father's day is really an exceptionally bad time for your mom to be putting your relationship on the line over whether or not you will dump all this stuff on me and go off by yourselves. My wife was genuinely stuck between her conflicting obligations between her husband and her mother. When I explained the situation to her, she decided to go with me and put her mom's number on block. We are all set to have a nice family weekend.

My point here is that your wife may not be strong enough to defend your marriage against outside intrusions and she may not even realize what she is doing with regards to you. Nicely explaining how you feel and what you would like from her (stay home, help me) can go a long way helping her get a better view of what she should be doing


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## mina (Jun 14, 2012)

I go trail riding all day on my horse with my GFs and our daughters on Mothers Day and my DH goes golfing with his buddies on Fathers Day. We cook out and have a good dinner in the evening with the kids and do kid stuff afterward like go to the local ice cream place or a movie or pull out the telescope. After the kids go to bed its parent's time. Mothers Day is for Moms to enjoy themselves. Fathers Day is for Dads to enjoying themselves. Doing what they like to do!!  Every day is Kids Day ...


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

I sent her a text telling her Im not going tomorrow i haven't heard back yet. Shell probably be in a mood cause she didnt sleep well but it is her last day of work for the summer. 
We will see how this goes.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

I'm on the I know my wife and kids love me and please don't buy me anything bandwagon.

For me that's the same for birthdays, Christmas, etc etc I just want a card and a letter from my kids and I'm good.

No gifts please or especially no surprises thank you  yeah I know I'm wierd!!


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

Yea, I get where your coming from cause my H is notoriously bad with gift giving and holidays. Like, the worst.

I used to get all bent out of shape about it and pout.

Then I realized 1.) I am an adult and 2.) I am capable of making myself happy and 3.) Pouting is unproductive for everyone involved.

Now, I plan all holidays. Including my mothers day and my birthday. If hubby wants to plan something in addition to that, great. But if he doesn't I wont be left out in the cold either. One mothers day I planned myself an entire spa day with my girlfriends and just told him, ill be home after dinner. He was shocked but it got my point across that he either needs to understand what I want (and I do tell him, loud and clear) or I will be making it happen on my own.

You can let this issue fester and destroy your relationship or you can make a decision to take responsibility for your own happiness and cut her a break. I decided the latter. This is an area my H is just not good at - but it doesn't make him unlovable and its not worth weeks of fighting over.

Since I made this decision - H has been stepping it up a bit and since I go into every holiday with zero expectations, anything he does do is genuinely appreciated and a nice surprise.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

effess said:


> Of the fathers here, who already knows ull be letdown by ur wife on Sunday? My kids r relatively young and even the cutest drawing a hug and a kiss is more than ok from them.
> But id like a little appreciation from my wife at least on that day. let me be home myself for a good part of the day, take the kids somewhere let me relax and of course screw my brains out that night.
> Shes terrible on special occasions and puts little thought into it. already this Saturday she has to go to a kids bday party for a coworker of hers and is insisting on dragging me along w the kids. i said let me stay home since fathers day is next day (im home by myself maybe twice a yr max) - she insists i come too.
> I try to make a big deal out of mothers day - let her sleep in breakfast in bed and take kids somewhere so she can relax.
> ...


In these things keep a weathered eye out for resentment and passive aggression in your wife. Amongst other things PA is enacted by withholding loving actions.

Not saying your wife is resentful or a passive aggressive, just something to be aware of.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

We have no children. But my wife swears to me that our parrot insisted she went out and bought a Father's Day present for me.

I love my family!:smthumbup:


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Effess, you inspired me. I don't have any children with my H so I wasn't going to do anything, but now he will get a very sexy gift. So thank you -- really, I wasn't going to do anything until I read your post.

Points in heaven, baby. Points in heaven.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

I stayed home and she went with the kids to the party. 
I cleaned the house, warmed up some lunch and am now laying on the couch into my second beer watching the game. and i got a nice bj in the shower this morning.
I hope the rest of the weekend is like this.


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## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

I'm taking my kids out for Fathers Day cos its awesome to be there Father


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

I'll be going to where the inlaws are camping, and spending the day there. Lots of fun.... 

I told her tonight that I thought that was the worst way I could think of to spend fathers day. She asked what I wanted to do and I told her I wanted to load up my backpack and go away for a day or two. Then I asked how that would go over, she said "not well"

At least she knows what I would rather.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea, my mom wormed her way into Father's Day. Hubs isn't to pleased as we can't go hiking, etc...but he understands since she's "delicate" right now.

What is it with other people wanting to ruin Father's Day? If her mom hadn't just died, I would have told her to sod off.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

that_girl said:


> Yea, my mom wormed her way into Father's Day. Hubs isn't to pleased as we can't go hiking, etc...but he understands since she's "delicate" right now.
> 
> What is it with other people wanting to ruin Father's Day? If her mom hadn't just died, I would have told her to sod off.


My MIL is the martyr Queen... If it doesn't go her way, look out... 

that_girl what are you doing up? You gots a 29 year old hubby, and it's officially fathers day. Wake that guy up and abuse him some, then tell him "happy fathers day"


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## Caveman (May 11, 2012)

I am a little disappointed this father's day. For mother's day I sent my wife to the spa and gave her a gift certificate to Macy's inside of a card. A few MONTHS AGO I told her a couple of things I was interested in her getting me for father's day and she said okay. I am one of those guys that find it hard to spend money on myself and will quickly spend that money on my wife and son in a heart beat. So the past few days I was thinking about which gift she decided to get me. Well this morning I woke up before her. She presented me with a card and said happy father's day and a kiss on the cheek. She made us breakfast - nothing special just bacon and eggs. She then said she was going to spend the day in bed catching up on the Borges and take a nap. I was kinda taken aback by the lack of thought into the "gift". I am not keeping score but she and her sister went half on getting an expensive accessory for their dad's truck which apparently she planned. And she gave her mom and sister gifts for mother's day. I guess I am the odd man out. As far as a bj nope prolly not. She is the type that will usually only give a bj if there is a chance she will get one in return. And she is "entertaining her aunt flow" if you know what I mean so that is outta the question. This is from the same woman who absolutely forgot my birthday all day one year several years into our marriage. I love my wife but sometimes I think she just doesn't appreciate a loving and attentive husband. I think it is time to shake things up a bit.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

Well it turned out better than i thought it would. 
I stayed home Saturday from the party and after cleaning up i had a couple beers watched the game than played some video games. no noise nothing just some peace. everyone got home in the evening we put the kids to bed and we had sex. it didn't turn out to be earth shattering stuff - but it was nice to be w her and for her prioritize me that night.
I got up Sunday morning watched some tv w my eldest until everyone else woke up.they gave some gifts which i didn't expect and chilled out on the couch for a few hrs. My wife made me breakfast -I LOVE BREAKFAST! 
Took the kids w me and ran some errands - hung out w my dad some and watched the game. he left, i went to the park w the kids and went out for ice cream while my wife stayed home. it was a.nice weekend.
The only real downer was my wife was especially on edge. but i refused to let it ruin my weekend.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

sorry, but it seems like fathers day is far less respected as a "holiday" than mothers day. Just my observation. In my house, since money is tight, we dont buy gifts on these "holidays", but i do make sure the kids have made a card and tell mom happy mothers day as soon as they see her that morning. i got no cards, and they told me happy fathers day mid afternoon, like "oh yeah".

i got more good wishes at the ball park sunday morning from other parents than i did my own family. it kinda puts things in perspective for me. i feel like i am just here to bring home the money and do the house maint.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Caveman said:


> I am a little disappointed this father's day. For mother's day I sent my wife to the spa and gave her a gift certificate to Macy's inside of a card. A few MONTHS AGO I told her a couple of things I was interested in her getting me for father's day and she said okay. I am one of those guys that find it hard to spend money on myself and will quickly spend that money on my wife and son in a heart beat. So the past few days I was thinking about which gift she decided to get me. Well this morning I woke up before her. She presented me with a card and said happy father's day and a kiss on the cheek. She made us breakfast - nothing special just bacon and eggs. She then said she was going to spend the day in bed catching up on the Borges and take a nap. I was kinda taken aback by the lack of thought into the "gift". I am not keeping score but she and her sister went half on getting an expensive accessory for their dad's truck which apparently she planned. And she gave her mom and sister gifts for mother's day. I guess I am the odd man out. As far as a bj nope prolly not. She is the type that will usually only give a bj if there is a chance she will get one in return. And she is "entertaining her aunt flow" if you know what I mean so that is outta the question. This is from the same woman who absolutely forgot my birthday all day one year several years into our marriage. I love my wife but sometimes I think she just doesn't appreciate a loving and attentive husband. I think it is time to shake things up a bit.


Passive aggression is the withholding of loving actions. The withholding is designed and planned to hurt. The more you’re hurt and show it, the better their plan worked and the more pleased they are.

Not saying she is passive aggressive, just something to be aware of.


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## Mr_brown (Oct 17, 2011)

I'm not getting into it... But my vote is disappointed


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## JoeRockStar (Jun 5, 2012)

My Father's Day wasn't anything to write home about but it was ok. Kids and wife got me cards, no gifts. We went out to lunch with my mom who was clearly in a bad mood (normal behavior for her, especially since my dad passed away 6 years ago). I don't think she even wished me a happy Father's Day, guess I'll never be the family patriarch in her eyes even though I'm the oldest living male in the family. 

Thankfully Mrs. RockStar made up for it all in the afternoon when the kids were out with their friends.  :smthumbup: :bunny:


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## reallynow (Jun 18, 2012)

TIME TO RANT>>>>So every year you plan something special for her? Did you send her to the spa or did she tell you she was going to the spa? How old are your kids? Was there a reason you didn't plan something for yourself. If you have a lot of kids of even one kid are you a great father??? Did she tell you so? Why didn't your kids buy you anything for Fathers Day? You aren't her Father are you? I understand why she might have gotten her father something but why would you be mad because she didn't give you a bj. Wow you seem like there are more problems with you than the fact she didn't bow down to you on Fathers Day. Are you sure you just don't want a divorce??? It sounds this way.
Is she a good mother? Maybe after doing everything in your home and taking care of your children she was tired. Do you do stuff around the house and take care of your kids? Do you work outside the home or for that matter does she. You know as a single mother (recently divorced) it is extremely hard to do everything by yourself but if you are contributing equally to everything in your married life I would say you can be bitter about that, but if you aren't giving everything to your family and relationship you are a fool for wanting to "shake things up". You are asking for trouble....don't think for a minute she would not hesitate to shake your world up as well.


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## Mr_brown (Oct 17, 2011)

@reallynow- I have worked my tail off and I felt I deserved more. If your not onto it that week, got a lot going on, a rain check is fine. I'm a great dad and have recently went overboard on my wife, so much so that she was smitten. I just expected effort!


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## reallynow (Jun 18, 2012)

@ Mr_Brown exactly what type of raincheck would you have expected? I mean if you ask a man what he wants and he doesn't speak up are women to be required to read thoughts? What do you feel is overboard?


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## Mr_brown (Oct 17, 2011)

Hey I couldn't do what I wanted for you so we're gonna do something next week or Here's a coupon to get out of xyz or a massage. Something


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## mina (Jun 14, 2012)

spent the entire day doing what DH wanted to do. started out with him sleeping late (while I did my outside stuff) then coffee & big breakfast cooked by our 18yo daughter. shower then to the big outdoorsy store to buy stuff for her camping trip in Africa coming up. shopped for rifles and shotguns. he liked that (so did I.) he drove his new car very fast. I didn't complain. windows down. I didn't complain. I also didn't try to give him directions or ask which route he was taking. lunch at his favorite place with me and the kids. sat outdoors. I didn't complain (ok, it was really nice out!!) went to the huge home box store for hardware and other manly stuff he needed for projects. I didn't complain. home, dropped off 1/2 the kids took the youngest child to hit buckets of balls at the driving range. I took photos and video to help with improving his swing. found out he's not been riding his bike as usual of late as he's nervous to scratch the paint on this new car. offered to set up an appt to install a class I hitch on the car and buy him a class I hitch bike rack for his car, so he can take it to work and ride at lunch; My "father's day present to you..." Cook out on the grill and hang out by the pool/deck with a few beers. Yes, he also got some late night. Was a pretty good fathers day.


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## LFC (Jul 14, 2010)

C'mon guys these are kids were talking about mine are 8 (to young to realise) and 16( preoccupied with teenage stuff) , I took my kids out and hit some golf balls with em and then got food . Why put your happiness in the hands of others . I had my best fathers day yet. If you know its gonna be a let down you have not discussed things or are expecting too much .


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

LFC said:


> C'mon guys these are kids were talking about mine are 8 (to young to realise) and 16( preoccupied with teenage stuff) , I took my kids out and hit some golf balls with em and then got food . Why put your happiness in the hands of others . I had my best fathers day yet. If you know its gonna be a let down you have not discussed things or are expecting too much .


because in a married home its common courtesy for the spouse to make sure the kids at least recognize the celebration for the other parent, thats what i do anyway


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## rj700 (Jun 22, 2012)

I expected a let down & was not disappointed. W & kids have never done much for celebrations - or acknowledgments (birthdays, father's day). It used to bother me - especially the birthdays. It still does to some extent, but it applies to all of us, not just me.

Sometimes I plan my own - pick something I want to do (not necessarily with them).


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