# Father's Day v Mother's Day



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

So I posted a comment in another thread along this line but then wondered if my own observation was shared by other guys out there. So why not ask

So where I live I have noticed this trend a few years ago and again this year. Around Mother's Day it seems like every commercial both radio and tv is about something to do for her or discounts of flowers or gifts or restaurant deals for Mother's Day. For about the two weeks before it seems to dominate commercials and I don't watch a lot of tv so it stands out.

For Father's Day not so much. Seems like hardly any of the same advertisements are happening. I have noticed this the last couple of years now. Yesterday I even got this valpak coupon book for June-July......hey I don't check my mail often don't judge lol. Inside were 4 coupons for discounts on items for Father's Day. I still had the coupon book for April /May and it had 12 coupons for Mother's Day .

Since I can only speak to my area of the world does anyone else notice this other places?


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

You didn't get the memo? 

Our country/society/media thinks of fathers as complete idiots, push overs and 2nd class citizens.

Put on any channel and watch them rip the father apart.

Father/male discrimination is at an all time high.

But the real answer to your question is that women are much easier convinced that it's important to receive gifts and materialistic BS. And it's expected.

For me, if I spend a day with my wife/kids at a picnic or do a hike/play sports etc, I'm a happy man.

No gifts needed or wanted.

I don't even like the idea of celebrating "father's"day. 

But I also understand that holiday's were created to support business and sell WHOLE bunch of crap.

Corps/Business LOVE them. Heck if it wasn't for christmas our economy would probably collapse.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Dad gets a tie...or some socks....maybe a nice breakfast if he's lucky. Mom get flowers, breakfast in bed, a spa day, dinner out and something from the jewelry store... Or at least that seems to be what they're selling us.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

DoF said:


> You didn't get the memo?
> 
> Our country/society/media thinks of fathers as complete idiots, push overs and 2nd class citizens.
> 
> ...


Well it's part of the "joke". I don't understand how a woman can have a child with a man and all of a sudden his brain doesn't work and he is useless for any decision making, and only good to be micromanaged to fulfill her wishes or do things as she see's fit.

Gone are the days when dads made critical decisions, because it's not looked upon kindly if a male even leads the household in some area's. If a man is seen "leading" where a female is involved he will be ostracized.

I'm kind of exaggerating the matter a bit, but these days it is getting more and more true. That men are these "bottoms" who need a "top" to think and perform correctly, and women are made to be "tops".

Complaining doesn't fix anything. What can we do about it other than live by ourselves?


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

treyvion said:


> Well it's part of the "joke". I don't understand how a woman can have a child with a man and all of a sudden his brain doesn't work and he is useless for any decision making, and only good to be micromanaged to fulfill her wishes or do things as she see's fit.
> 
> Gone are the days when dads made critical decisions, because it's not looked upon kindly if a male even leads the household in some area's. If a man is seen "leading" where a female is involved he will be ostracized.
> 
> ...


I'm not complaining as everything I talked about does not apply to my marriage or relationship.

Watching it from the sidelines is what makes me sick.

Then people wonder why so many fathers don't participate in families or disappear.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I can't stand either "holiday". Every year it gets worse and worse...made up holidays on steroids. 

Why is it you can't tell someone you love and appreciate them without throwing jewelry or expensive days trips at them?? $60 for flowers??? no thanks.

Why is it that the people who make commercials think "oh it's Father's day...time to start putting the all American white dude on tv w/a doofus apron on while he stands at a massive grill w/our shiny grilling tools in hand." 

"Oh it's father's day soon! let's make this commercial of a man rooting around the fridge like big dumb dopey bear foraging for snacks! Then we'll cut in with the smart wife to shake her head in a rueful way at him. Then we'll cut to propping him at the grill..."


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

I don't I see a lot advertised for Father's Day around my neck of the woods. As it stands, I'm coaching my son's flag football team late in the afternoon that day. I only ask that he, my son, and all the boys put their best effort into the game. I personally could not ask for a better Father's Day present than that. My said we can go out after the game as a family.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

I've always liked Father's Day, but couldn't care less if I get any gift, other than maybe a cupcake or something. I more like the idea of this being the day that dad should lay around in the hammock, and have mom and daughter fix lemonade, etc.

I'm also tired of dad's routinely being portrayed as the big numbskull of the family, incapable of getting things done, etc. Its not accurate at all, look around you. Who fixes that car, built your house, designed that bridge?

Yep, the commercials about treating these little tribute days as an excuse to buy a new diamond necklace, or lawn tractor is tiresome.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Forest said:


> I've always liked Father's Day, but couldn't care less if I get any gift, other than maybe a cupcake or something. I more like the idea of this being the day that dad should lay around in the hammock, and have mom and daughter fix lemonade, etc.
> 
> I'm also tired of dad's routinely being portrayed as the big numbskull of the family, incapable of getting things done, etc. Its not accurate at all, look around you. Who fixes that car, built your house, designed that bridge?
> 
> Yep, the commercials about treating these little tribute days as an excuse to buy a new diamond necklace, or lawn tractor is tiresome.


It was originally, like mother's day, a card holiday. But like every other holiday , it has become an excuse to guilt the American public into overspending because of guilt and greed.
My kids asked me what I want for father's day.
I told them their love was the best thing they can keep giving me....and let me sleep in..


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

DoF said:


> I'm not complaining as everything I talked about does not apply to my marriage or relationship.
> 
> Watching it from the sidelines is what makes me sick.
> 
> Then people wonder why so many fathers don't participate in families or disappear.


NO you got it wrong. People don't WONDER why men don't participate or dissapear. They blame it on the man for not being a man or being weak... That's how society percieves it.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I can't stand either "holiday". Every year it gets worse and worse...made up holidays on steroids.
> 
> Why is it you can't tell someone you love and appreciate them without throwing jewelry or expensive days trips at them?? $60 for flowers??? no thanks.
> 
> ...


You got it.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I have gotten two emails today about sales for Father's Day.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Around here both are marketed heavily although I'm not naive enough to think it's for altruistic reasons. Retailers want you to come out and buy. Whether it's for mothers day or fathers day...they don't care.


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

> For me, if I spend a day with my wife/kids at a picnic or do a hike/play sports etc, I'm a happy man.


I agree with this. I took my kids to a pottery painting place because that is what they wanted to do last Father's Day. I just wanted the time with them. A couple of the mom's asked what I was doing in there on Father's Day. I said, I am a father and spending time with my girls. They commented that their husbands wanted to play golf and get away from the kids for the day. 

I said I didn't understand that. To me, spending more time with the kids was a better way to spend Father's Day. Also, my wife gets a break from being mom, so it works great for both of us. The ladies there seemed dumb founded that I would do Father's Day like that.


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

I've never made a point to track the amount of ads for Mday compared to Fday, but the numbers in terms of dollars spent definitely don't lie:

Dad’s not getting as much for Father’s Day as Mom got for Mother’s Day - Money - TODAY.com



> Americans are expected to spend about $7.4 billion less on gifts and goodies for dads this Father’s Day than they spent on moms for Mother’s Day last month, according to the National Retail Federation.
> 
> The National Retail Federation says about 64 percent of consumers plan to get Dad a card. That compares to 81 percent who were planning to make sure Mom got a card.


Me? On Father's Day, I give my Dad a call and we have a nice chit chat.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How do they know how much was spent on Mother's day vs Father's day?

When I buy something at the store... the retailer does not know the purpose of that sale.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

EleGirl said:


> How do they know how much was spent on Mother's day vs Father's day?
> 
> When I buy something at the store... the retailer does not know the purpose of that sale.


Retailers!! Where do you think the NSA gets its ideas for snooping technology???


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

DoF said:


> You didn't get the memo?
> 
> Our country/society/media thinks of fathers as complete idiots, push overs and 2nd class citizens.
> 
> ...


Great post and I agree 100%. To me, Father's Day never really meant much. Every day I get to be with my kids is Father's Day for me. Women on the other hand, I do find to be much more materialistic and demand cards, flowers, dinner out, jewelry. I don't need any of that. The world would absolutely stop if I did nothing for my wife or mom on Mother's Day...and then they get pissed off if I do more for one than the other.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

We don't go all out on either day in our house. We both give each other a card, maybe a lotto ticket inside and a small gift (of course, everything is signed from the kids and the kids pick out the cards and small gift). 

I like it, he likes it. It's not fancy but it works for us.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> How do they know how much was spent on Mother's day vs Father's day?
> 
> When I buy something at the store... the retailer does not know the purpose of that sale.


:iagree:

We bought my husband's father's day gift in advance, so I would guess they assume that isn't related to the holiday? 

For mother's day, all I wanted was to sleep in and have my husband do most of the childcare. No gift was needed, but he got me one anyways(well more so something that he wanted vs something I wanted). My husband's father's day gift cost 4x's as much as the gift I got, too. 

I like the simple things. The holiday(both mothers day and fathers day) should be about family, not the money spent on gifts.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

DoF said:


> You didn't get the memo?
> 
> *Our country/society/media thinks of fathers as complete idiots, push overs and 2nd class citizens.
> *
> ...



While I hate the statement I really can't say that I disagree with it. Fathers aren't treated In The same light as mothers and in media they are little more than trained monkeys. Everyone loves Raymond comes to mind.

I just choose to spend time with the kiddos. We are likely going to a kids movie and then to a Mongolian grill my girls love. Would not be what I would choose to do alone but spending time with my girls is what makes me the happiest. 

For my own father and mother I get them the exact same thing every year. They both love Twins baseball so I send them to a game every year as a joint Father's Day/ Mother's Day present. They love it. If they didn't love the same thing though I would never make a bigger deal about Mother's Day than Father's Day. I love them both equally and learned different traits from both. It seems society has changed somewhat in regards to fathers which is sad. I wonder if other countries are experiencing this as well.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Anonymous07 said:


> :iagree:
> 
> We bought my husband's father's day gift in advance, so I would guess they assume that isn't related to the holiday?
> 
> ...


:iagree:

Time spent is more precious than any gift ever.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> How do they know how much was spent on Mother's day vs Father's day?
> 
> When I buy something at the store... the retailer does not know the purpose of that sale.


It's all a bit of speculation and random sampling surveys that they use. Nothing is 100% accurate for sure. They do the same with Christmas and v day and so forth.


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## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

Having been in the room when my wife gave birth (ouch!), and watched her carry that load around for the previous 9 months and seen the physical effects it had on her body that she lives with to this day, and understanding all she has had to do to deal with all of the mommy stuff through the years, I don't begrudge her more presents in the least. I have been a very involved father, but I readily concede that she deserves more accolades.

Father's Day is fine for me, but I see it more as a Hallmark holiday. 

I also agree that the way our modern culture/TV/movies denigrates fathers is just awful.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

I particularly hate the LG commercial with the boy standing motionless in front of the open fridge, staring at the contents as if he doesn't have a clue. The mom wonders why he's doing that, and then the dad walks in and repeats the same behavior. The mom thinks to herself: "The tree from which the apple fell".

Yuck.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Voiceofreason said:


> Having been in the room when my wife gave birth (ouch!), and watched her carry that load around for the previous 9 months and seen the physical effects it had on her body that she lives with to this day, and understanding all she has had to do to deal with all of the mommy stuff through the years, I don't begrudge her more presents in the least. I have been a very involved father, but I readily concede that she deserves more accolades.
> 
> Father's Day is fine for me, but I see it more as a Hallmark holiday.
> 
> I also agree that the way our modern culture/TV/movies denigrates fathers is just awful.



Interesting. Was certainly not my experience. I also watched my x wife give birth to both our girls and remember that as vividly as the day I watcher her abandon all three of us for the guy she left me for. No more presents for her and I don't subscribe at all that fathers are any less important than a mother. You learn different things from each one. I probably have a slight bit more in common with my father but love both my folks the same.

Most holidays seem more about what you buy than it's true meaning anymore


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Voiceofreason said:


> Having been in the room when my wife gave birth (ouch!), and watched her carry that load around for the previous 9 months and seen *the physical effects it had on her body that she lives with to this day, *and understanding all she has had to do to deal with all of the mommy stuff through the years, I don't begrudge her more presents in the least. I have been a very involved father, but I readily concede that she deserves more accolades.


Thank you, Vor. My husband sees this the same way you do. He has ultimate respect for mothers, and would never begrudge them a special day.

He is a great dad, and supports our family very well. But his body is not forever damaged by childbirth. He is not at risk of collapsing organs. A quick moment of pleasure, and his physical involvement was more or less over.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Voiceofreason said:


> Having been in the room when my wife gave birth (ouch!), and watched her carry that load around for the previous 9 months and seen the physical effects it had on her body that she lives with to this day, and understanding all she has had to do to deal with all of the mommy stuff through the years, I don't begrudge her more presents in the least. I have been a very involved father, but I readily concede that she deserves more accolades.


It's really nice to see that acknowledgement. My body took a beating from pregnancy and childbirth, that my husband would have no similar experiences of. He is a wonderful dad, but it's different.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

DoF said:


> But I also understand that holiday's were created to support business and sell WHOLE bunch of crap.
> 
> Corps/Business LOVE them. *Heck if it wasn't for christmas our economy would probably collapse.*


Nearly died laughing when I read this^^^.

But it might very well be true!


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

My fathers day treat this year will be to drive the 180 miles to collect my father on Saturday and the same to take him home on Sunday but it will mean we get to enjoy each others company and if the weather holds out a family BBQ (that I will get to cook) instead of a Sunday Roast.


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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

My own father is a deadbeat so I never needed to worry about father's day growing up. Now that I'm married and pay attention to it, I agree the difference between the way the two days are treated is sickening.

For mothers day, my wife and her father got her mom an iPad air. So the wife spent about $300 on her mother and so did her dad.

For father's day, she sent him a $50 dollar gift card and her mother didn't do anything for him.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

Fathers day and Mothers day...should be the kids doing something to show appreciation for their respective parent if they are fortunate enough to know their parent.

It gets twisted into what you feel for your opposite sex spouse. At best its a nice reflection. But more typically its a comparison of what happened and the assessment of unequal celebration.

These holidays really do suck because kids nowadays on average only do something if the other parent makes them and the man will always typically get less than the female.

Mainly because the man cares to make sure the female feels special and the female does the bare minimum to celebrate.

Its just another microcosm of marriage itself. 

Unappreciated as a man for all you do everyday without any recognition for your family.
The sad truth.

I actually hope male kids growing up don't take the same path of females getting too much one sided-ness out of a marriage... we are products of our parents back when marriage meant something and men were the primary parent and provider now women get away with way too much. Hopefully my kids will learn and not let any woman have too much power in their lives for their own good.

Society and electronics are to blame...I weep for marriage as a whole.


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## ReformedHubby (Jan 9, 2013)

Mother's day does get more pub, but that doesn't really matter to me. Athletes also say, "hi mom" on TV instead of, "hi dad". Pushing the baby out should come with some perks shouldn't it?

Honestly, what matter's to me is how my wife and kids treat me on father's day. Like every holiday we kind of make it our own. What society thinks doesn't really matter to me. My wife and I have re-dubbed it father's night if you know what I mean. She also gets me a neat gag gift every year. See pic below for this year's.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

all this crap for dads is superfluous. Just get dad a nice bottle of bourbon, and maybe a nice stogie. He will be happy.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

......I think ...presently .... that the biggest difference between Mother's Day and Father's Day is as follows:

....forget, or poorly plan for Mother's Day 'festivities' and you will regret it for the rest of the year ....or years to come

..... forget , or make a minor deal out of Fathers Day and .....nothing .....zip ....nadda .....no hard feelings ....no grief .....move on to the next day ....

......case in point: This past Mothers Day ....got the wife flowers ....a card ....made her breakfast in bed ......but ....I didn't make special dinner reservations ...so ...I got the grumpy face from her and a sh!te-load of attitude. (PS: ...money's been tight the past 5 months)

....move on to today ...Father's Day: Wife is in Atlantic City with two of her girlfriends (they went last night to see some country singer show) .....come this morning ....no call ....no text from her (about Father's Day) ....however ....I do get a text from her to get the pooch to the vet. She gets home at noon today ....no kiss ...or hug hello ...no card ...but instead get a perfunctory "happy fathers day" ...followed by, " How's the dog" ...and, "Oh ...by the way ....I made dinner reservations for tonite".


....truth is ....I'd rather be lounging in the spa with a cigar and a Scotch ....since I worked my arse off getting the house / yard prepped for my daughter's high school graduation party were having next week. The best father's day gift I could have got would have been a, "hey ..the yard looks nice".


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

There was a recent program on NPR about studies that investigated the importance of fathers. It is so true. My kids and I planned some nice stuff for DH and FIL (my own father is deceased). I contracted plague, given to me by said DH. He had to make the eggs bene. He liked it! Nothing for my poor FIL except to not have us give him plague.

I don't care what society thinks. My husband is the best father ever. And I see it in my children every day. And he will be celebrated all week.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

We dont celebrate either... Whats to celebrate? ...usually will give or get a token card hand made by my child and a small chocolate.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deville (Jun 18, 2014)

Mother's day: everything motherhood is celebrated and adored. Gifts are purchased and great honor is given to all mothers across the land.

Father's day: just another sunday


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I was lucky enough to get a great gift from my kids this year.

The youngest (B3) hand done a pair of paint footprints at pre-school so the other four did the same and turned it into a collage with a personal message of thanks.

Better than anything bought on the store.


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