# Help needed for a virgin husband



## oheyo5 (May 31, 2021)

I am new here & married for few years.

I want to give my wife a good sex experience.

I do not know how to pleasure my wife.

We want to have family this year. 

I need to know how to make a vagina wet before I can penetrate.

Any advise or tips to get me started?
Thanks.


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## maquiscat (Aug 20, 2019)

oheyo5 said:


> I am new here & married for few years.
> 
> I want to give my wife a good sex experience.
> 
> ...


OK first, you've been married for a few years, and you are both still virgins? Is there a cultural component to this?

As to your main question, females naturally start lubricating ("getting wet") when they get sexually excited. There are exceptions as well as conditions that can result in a one off, so to speak, of not lubricating. Foreplay is your friend here. The longer you can go without worrying about you, the more of a chance she will have of "being ready". But pay attention to her. She might be ready before you figured, and she might not like to be kept waiting. Timing will be a learned thing over time, no puns intended.

Kissing, and not just the lips, will probably be a prime tool. Neck, shoulders, torso, legs, back. Don't concentrate on the "sex parts". don't ignore them either of course, but the body (both men's and women's) have lots of parts that will aid in getting them turned on. If you and her don't have an issue with oral, it's a good way to both "check her status" and to get her excited. Fingers and nails are another good way to provide stimulating sensation. Light runs down arms, back, legs, behind the ears.

The key thing is to provide her with enough stimulation, and her body will do the rest. I did a quick Google search with the keywords "foreplay basics". It came back with some good results and a few I would not bother with. I am going to recommend healthline.com and webmd.com, and suggest you stay away from Cosmopolitan. The rest you will have to judge for your self.

Good luck. And let us know how it went.....just ....no details.....


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*OK, folks. We don't know the background of the OP's history, if there are any religious elements involved, any disabilities, etc.*

*So if you don't have anything helpful to add, please don't post in this thread.*


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

oheyo5 said:


> Any advise or tips to get me started?


This is a chicken and the egg conundrum. Which comes first. You need confidence. But you will need experience to gain confidence. However it seems you want to gain confidence without first having experience since confidence is what you need in order to be a success. Which comes first?

Ultimately life is about a willingness to embrace failure and to learn from those things. No one has perfect sex for the very first time, especially if both have no experience. It will be awkward and perhaps somewhat messy. Over time things will become more natural and simple. 

Much like playing a violin. Imagine a student that has never played the instrument before asking advice on how to perform for his first concert. Well you going to need to practice with an understanding that it will take a while to feel comfortable and natural at performing the violin. Sex is the same, so plan on practicing a lot and enjoy learning together with your wife. If you insist on being perfect before you begin, you are missing out on the incredible joy of learning together with your wife and being humble about it.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

oheyo5 said:


> I am new here & married for few years.
> 
> I want to give my wife a good sex experience.
> 
> ...


My ex and I were virgins when we got together. I had spent some time studying on my part before we had gotten together which helped a lot. I could find the clitoris for instance which would probably be on wikipedia. I knew that penetrative sex would generally be less pleasurable for her than for me so before we had sex, I made sure I could bring her to orgasm with oral sex. She didn't need a ton of stimulation the first time probably because she'd never had one and subsequent times she gave and I took direction as far as what felt good and what didn't.

I knew that there could be some anxiety on her part so I made sure there was never any pressure or rushing. She guided me and controlled when we started and stopped. There was a decent amount of trial and error as far as angles and whether before or after oral sex / orgasm, etc. We definitely tried to keep it playful and stress free.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

[QUOTE="oheyo5, post: 20311089, member: 349851"
I need to know how to make a vagina wet before I can penetrate
[/QUOTE]
go to the local pharmacy and get some sex lube. Or if you prefer, order some online.
Not all women are moist enough for comfortable sex.


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## Parallax857 (May 15, 2012)

Every woman is different. What works for your wife may be completely unique to her. The way to find out is to ask, talk and explore together. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Hopefully she's not too shy to reveal what works and what doesn't.


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