# Any WS whose marriage is over and u want BS back?



## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

I think I recall seeing one thread...but are there WS here who left or who were left and now you regret your affair/leaving and want your BS back? And if so, why?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well, it's not me, but my STBX.

Yea. I can't even write about it, but it's crazy how some people take so long to realize things. Not saying I'll change my mind though. Just interesting to see him go through this.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Really had hoped when I saw this thread there would be more responses. Although FWH never left, it would be interesting to know the "why" waywards want back in.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Well I am the BS. My hubby had a PA with his High School sweetheart, asked for a divorce and moved out. I told him I would give him 6 months... then I would move on. He changed his mind and asked to come back home about a week later.


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## Cinema79 (Aug 30, 2013)

What does BS and WS mean? - I'm new here.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Betrayed Spouse=BS
Wayward Spouse=WS
MC=Marriage Counselor or Counseling
IC=Individual Counselot or Counseling


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## user_zero (Aug 30, 2013)

Healer said:


> I think I recall seeing one thread...but are there WS here who left or who were left and now you regret your affair/leaving and want your BS back? And if so, why?


personally I believe cheating mostly is a way of running away from problems. the only reason comes to my mind for WS would wanna come back to BS is they realize they will have more problems out there. (of course there are always exception but there are very a few)

I remember I saw a few times here that situation and if I remember correctly most of them were women (WS) , they had kid(s) , and kid(s) hated them for their affair.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Mine wanted to come back, she is still wish for it but i dont give a sh11111111t about her wanting to come back.

Then why she wanted to come back? She lost everything for a fook and litterally everything including her children. She realized this now.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

My WW left, without telling me why. I found out a few days later. She kept saying I'm the kind of man who would never get past her infidelity. I felt the need to try and eventually convinced her I in fact could deal with it and forgive her. We attempted R and after 10 weeks I realized she was right - there's no way I could do it. She was devastated and physically fought me to keep me from walking out the door. It was insane. The 10 weeks we had were full of hysterical bonding, tons of 1 on 1 time, romance, all that stuff. When I left her it gave her a little taste of what I went through (only a taste, not a mouthful of sh*t like I had). 

She knows me well.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Healer said:


> My WW left, without telling me why. I found out a few days later. She kept saying I'm the kind of man who would never get past her infidelity. I felt the need to try and eventually convinced her I in fact could deal with it and forgive her. We attempted R and after 10 weeks I realized she was right - there's no way I could do it. She was devastated and physically fought me to keep me from walking out the door. It was insane. The 10 weeks we had were full of hysterical bonding, tons of 1 on 1 time, romance, all that stuff. When I left her it gave her a little taste of what I went through (only a taste, not a mouthful of sh*t like I had).
> 
> She knows me well.


Too bad she could not have used that knowledge of you to let you know what she was missing in the marriage...instead of going outside the marriage to satisfy her needs.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Too bad she could not have used that knowledge of you to let you know what she was missing in the marriage...instead of going outside the marriage to satisfy her needs.


It wouldn't have mattered. I couldn't help her - no matter what I did or didn't do. She had to hit rock bottom. She was, since the day I met her, insecure, jealous, low self-esteem and constantly accusing me of cheating, even though she KNEW I wasn't. She was batsh*t crazy, ultra paranoid, and nothing I could do would stop her from acting that way. I stopped living my life, stopped making music, stopped having friends or associating with colleagues - all to try and appease her fears and paranoia. It did nothing. I constantly told her how beautiful she was, how proud I was of her, what a great mom she was, how funny and and sexy she was, that she could do anything she put her mind to...it meant nothing. She resented my career and success, hated that I had friends, hated when I would spend time with my family. She has a personality disorder. There was not a damn thing I could have done to stop her from cheating. She was in therapy for a while before she did. Her therapist saw this coming. She said "you are going to drive him away - cause him to cheat". She was wrong on that part - I never cheated. But she did, ultimately, drive me away.

She's damaged goods, in a big way. At least she know it.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Healer said:


> It wouldn't have mattered. I couldn't help her - no matter what I did or didn't do. She had to hit rock bottom. She was, since the day I met her, insecure, jealous, low self-esteem and constantly accusing me of cheating, even though she KNEW I wasn't. She was batsh*t crazy, ultra paranoid, and nothing I could do would stop her from acting that way. I stopped living my life, stopped making music, stopped having friends or associating with colleagues - all to try and appease her fears and paranoia. It did nothing. I constantly told her how beautiful she was, how proud I was of her, what a great mom she was, how funny and and sexy she was, that she could do anything she put her mind to...it meant nothing. She resented my career and success, hated that I had friends, hated when I would spend time with my family. She has a personality disorder. There was not a damn thing I could have done to stop her from cheating. She was in therapy for a while before she did. Her therapist saw this coming. She said "you are going to drive him away - cause him to cheat". She was wrong on that part - I never cheated. But she did, ultimately, drive me away.
> 
> She's damaged goods, in a big way. At least she know it.


What attracted you to her? 

She must have been hellfire in the sack.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> What attracted you to her?
> 
> She must have been hellfire in the sack.


We always had great sex. I will own this, which does not a good marriage make: I settled. She chased me down. We were friends first and I wasn't initially attracted. But she pursued me in a big way. I eventually relented and we moved in together. From the first week we lived together I developed crippling anxiety that I needed meds for. I didn't realize at the time my mind and body were telling me it was wrong. I was never crazy for her like she was for me. I guess that's a big problem.

She's got a good sense of humor and is beautiful. But she's white trash, through and through. Abandoned by her father at age 3 or whatever. That did a number on her. Then he contacted her on her birthday out of the blue a couple years back. That sent her over the deep end. He's a heinous bastard.

BUT - I got 2 spectacular, loving, amazing kids out of it. No regrets on that front.


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## LostViking (Mar 26, 2013)

Healer said:


> She's got a good sense of humor and is beautiful.* But she's white trash, through and through*. Abandoned by her father at age 3 or whatever. That did a number on her. Then he contacted her on her birthday out of the blue a couple years back. That sent her over the deep end. He's a heinous bastard.
> 
> BUT - I got 2 spectacular, loving, amazing kids out of it. No regrets on that front.


I hear you. I don't know what it is about these white trash women, but the good looking ones among them have this dirty allure and willingness to try anything in bed that brings out the ape in some men....me included. 

After my last divorce I was banging a little gal who fit this description to a T. She was very good looking, had all her teeth, had a sexy little body, and was a grade-A slvt in bed... but all you had to do was talk to her for one minute and you knew she had probably grown up in in a trailer park behind a truck stop somewhere.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

LostViking said:


> I hear you. I don't know what it is about these white trash women, but the good looking ones among them have this dirty allure and willingness to try anything in bed that brings out the ape in some men....me included.
> 
> After my last divorce I was banging a little gal who fit this description to a T. She was very good looking, had all her teeth, had a sexy little body, and was a grade-A slvt in bed... but all you had to do was talk to her for one minute and you knew she had probably grown up in in a trailer park behind a truck stop somewhere.


For years on end and even now she professed that she wasn't good enough for me, that I could do better. I NEVER made her feel that way. I argued with her on that till I was blue in the face. Made no difference. If you really feel that way about yourself, that's what you are. Nobody can convince you otherwise.

Turns out she was right all along. I was just a fool who refused to see the clear plain truth. I AM better than her, and I DO deserve better.


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## hard_to_detach (Jun 17, 2013)

Healer said:


> For years on end and even now she professed that she wasn't good enough for me, that I could do better. I NEVER made her feel that way. I argued with her on that till I was blue in the face. Made no difference. If you really feel that way about yourself, that's what you are. Nobody can convince you otherwise.
> 
> Turns out she was right all along. I was just a fool who refused to see the clear plain truth. I AM better than her, and I DO deserve better.


My stbx has said that ever since we got together and I never made her feel that way either. I agree, if that is the way she feels I can't change that and she needs to figure it out on her own.


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