# Xmas gift from kids to WH?



## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

Am I obligated to make sure they get him something? I always facilitated the kids Xmas shopping in the past, but now WH is living with his affair partner... he left us 8 weeks ago.

The girls are 11, 12 and 17. I am sure he isn't making sure they get something for me.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

after physically abusing the 17 year old?!

uhhhh...no


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

I figure they can send their own messages or not-- they are old enough.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Nope. He left ALL of you remember.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

My vote would be "no". Leave it up to them, they're old enough to make that determination themselves.

My kids are 24 and 18 and since WH left and took up with his AP in another state I have removed or relieved myself of reminding the kids of special occasions/holidays. H can't seem to remember them on holidays, Thanksgiving went by and he did not contact either of them. Christmas and the oldest's b-day should prove interesting.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

This past mother's day, he didn't even make sure the kids got me something (my youngest made something, the others forgot), and I was so hurt. Now I know why... he didn't give a crap about me. He was busy cheating on me on mother's day. He didn't get me anything either. 

I hate him.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

It should totally be up to them.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

No, don't bother. Let go and move on!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Nope.

If they want to, they can make him a card and mail it.

But it's not your problem. That's the beauty of breakup.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

lisa3girls said:


> This past mother's day, he didn't even make sure the kids got me something (my youngest made something, the others forgot), and I was so hurt. Now I know why... he didn't give a crap about me. He was busy cheating on me on mother's day. He didn't get me anything either.
> 
> I hate him.



I was always told "you're not my mother". So he never made sure the kids got reminded, thankfully my kids are very good at remembering on their own.


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

I got that too... but I am the mother of his children... but again, he clearly didn't care, by then I was just a paycheck.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

I agree that it should be up to them. If they want to and need your help, don't deny them your help. You would be helping them, not him. Then need reassurance that you will always be there for them.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I changed my mind and that you should get him a gift-


some suggestions:


flaming bag of poop

surgical consult to remove the pole out of his ass

create coupons that he can redeem to get a free ball kicking from you

bath items are always nice, an acid bath would be perfect for him

customize his car with a set of racing stripes, just take your key and run down the side with it, or scrawl out any customized bumper sticker with your own saying of just how you feel about him


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## lisa3girls (Apr 6, 2011)

HerToo said:


> I agree that it should be up to them. If they want to and need your help, don't deny them your help. You would be helping them, not him. Then need reassurance that you will always be there for them.


I will help them if they ask, but I won't make it my responsibility that they do.


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Almost Recovered has some fun suggestions.....


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I changed my mind and that you should get him a gift-
> 
> 
> some suggestions:
> ...


:smthumbup:

If STBXH doesn't maintain the payments on our Silverado that he took to NJ with him, I may just "relieve" him of that financial burden. He keeps falling behind on the payments and I'm stuck with the never ending phone calls about when the payment will be made. He won't provide a legitimate address now, says his semi doesn't have an address, but I know the city/state where he is and have the work address. That's all a repo man would need. Same with the semi, sure it's the same situation there too.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

I`m sure the 17 year old isn`t getting him **** and that`s just fine.

You should ask the two younger ones if they`d like you to help them get him something or not.

Take the high road Lisa, always take the high road.


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## chattycathy (Aug 19, 2011)

I am another 
nope
vote.

Even if they were teeny tiny which they're not

nope.


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## Set me FREE (Sep 5, 2011)

My stbxh cut us off financially, forcing out of our home and then took my vehicle away once I was all moved into my mom's house in the middle of nowhere. I will hand the kids crayons and a sheet of paper to draw pictures for him..but that's about it.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

When my kids were younger I did help them with present for the ex's.

The ex's are my son's father and my 2 step-kid's mother. 

The ex's never made sure that the kids remembered presents for me or my husband. But my husband and I always made sure that the kids got presents for us.

I figured I'd be the bigger person and teach the children what they needed. The ex is their parent no matter what they did. Children should be taught to respect their parents. Part of that is remembering birthdays and holidays.

Now that the children are older (in their early 20's) they do it for themselves.

My son always get me, my husband, his dad and his step mom persents. They are small because he's a starving college student. But he's learned the lesson.

My step kids, now that they are older, don't give any presents to their mother because she has continued to not be involved in their lives. It's their choice as adults.

Unless there is very good reason... such as abuse or abandonment... I think that the lesson of teaching a child to think of others and to respect their parents is more imporant that the squables (and yes even infidelity) and divorces between their parents.


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