# how to get clarity in thoughts?



## chutki (Jul 13, 2012)

I like my husband ...but we r separated now...and for few months we were in contact but now we are not...
All the time i just think about things like:
whether i havent understood my hubby properly...or 
whether am i wrong in my behaviour or 
whether am i not someone meant to be married coz i have some independant thoughts..
can i stay without him...always when i think about him and me together ,apart from the feeling that i am with my loved one...other than that i dont reallly see any future with him nor has hope that he loves me..
I am struggling not to be in contact with him...i am trying to follow the 180 ..but his birthday is in 2 days..should i wish him...?
I am not knowing how to know whether what is the fear behind my thoughts...do i really like me...or am i worried of being alone...or am i not strong enough to stand on my own feet..or do i just dont want the divorce tag....i am not gatting clarity over this...please help me on this...


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

Hi Chutki
The problem is doubt. You seem to be caught up in doubt that you are not sure what is best to do, clearly.

If you remove doubt then you may be able to see more clearly. At least clear enough to be able to stick with your plans.

I suggest not thinking about the past at all, but rather consider what you WANT now and for tomorrow, for you specifically, not for anyone else. Treat it like an exercise if needs be. Base you decisions on what you want for you today and tomorrow and you will find there is some clarity and less doubt. You may find you remember what it is that you really want and that thinking about the past and what you should or shouldn't have done or should do will help you find more inner strength.


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

no relationship can last if you don't know if you like yourself or not...you need to get on better terms with yourself before you even woryy about anything else...

Once that is done, don't settle for the status quo in the relationship...you want a new and improved marrriage or nothing at all...


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