# Typical Happy Father's Day from an NPD ex-wife...



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Readers digest background...my ex wife is diagnosed NPD and has been with her affair partner for the past four years. We separated in March 2012, divorce final in Sept 2012.

My youngest son is 13, and spent Father's Day with me per the custody agreement. We had a really good day, but in the middle of it, I received the following text from my ex...

Could you please let me know when my son will be home? I can't let you know where to take him if I don't know.

I replied:

Around 7

She replied:

Well, everyone is doing yoga class today, so we'll be at the studio until 6:20ish. It would be nice if he could make it back for class at 4:45. AP requested family yoga as his Father's Day gift, and grandpa is going too.

I did not reply, and brought him back to her around 7.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

:banghead:

You have the patience of a saint.
I know you wouldn't and really can never respond to someone like this, but it kind of makes you want to say "it would be nice if you hadn't blown up the marriage, too."


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> Readers digest background...my ex wife is diagnosed NPD and has been with her affair partner for the past four years. We separated in March 2012, divorce final in Sept 2012.
> 
> My youngest son is 13, and spent Father's Day with me per the custody agreement. We had a really good day, but in the middle of it, I received the following text from my ex...
> 
> ...


NPD at its finest!  I'm glad to hear you had a great day. Sorry she had to throw a momentary wrench in the works. Good for you for not replying. 

We had my BF's daughter this weekend. Her mom texts her 5 minutes after we leave: "Your bio dad is not the only dad you have. I want you to come home on Sunday so you can have a father's day dinner with your other dad." She knows it upsets her daughter and my BF to call him her bio dad.


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## Bob Davis (Nov 5, 2014)

lucy999 said:


> She knows it upsets her daughter and my BF to call him her bio dad.


It's one thing to be annoying for the purpose of upsetting a former spouse. 

But doing this for the purpose of upsetting one's own child...or at least knowing that it does so and yet continuing to do so...is, uh, really egregious. "What a dear."


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

It's a hard place to get to, but when you get to the place where these damaged people don't hurt you anymore it is so rewarding. 

Took me years to get there regarding my alcoholic, narcissistic father. Now I mostly just feel sorry for him. 

Seems like you are moving to this place quicker than I did.😀


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> ...*"AP requested family yoga as his Father's Day gift..."*


AP is not your son's father, so who really cares what he "requested."

You handled it perfectly.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> *AP is not your son's father, so who really cares what he "requested."*
> 
> You handled it perfectly.


Oh I know  I am rarely surprised by anything that comes out of that woman's mouth, or even affected by it.  This was just such a textbook example of the alternate reality she lives in because I have no doubt that it didn't even cross her mind that I am actually my son's father.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

A lot of this stupid shyt the moms in these posts are pulling will eventually take a huge chunk out of their dumb asses.

Kids don't like being forced / coerced into pretending / calling, the man their mother is currently banging, father.

Speaking from experience. I get on good with my mom now but actually left her a couple times as a teenager.

My oldest sister still hates her and my youngest sister is still bitter as well.

Other things were going on but it felt like abuse to be pressured into committing our emotions to whoever had access to our mother's crotch.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Curious how does she present the other man at home to your son, and does she forget the child support?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

BTW. My previous comments were in no way a slam against good step parents. 

It was against emotionally abusing children by trying to shoehorn a parent into their lives and push the actual parent out.

These people really must think the sun rises and sets on their gonads because they make all their decisions based on what they do with their privates and expect the rest of the world to do the same.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Xenote said:


> Curious how does she present the other man at home to your son, and does she forget the child support?


Of course she doesn't forget the child support, and she fought the maintenance being terminated when she moved in with AP. Said they couldn't afford the blended family of 6 people. Oh, and she still does not have a job.

The kids already knew the guy because he was the fourth grade teacher of my daughter and youngest son...the affair started when she was the room mother.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Well now. I would have replied that I hoped the AP could bend enough in yoga to kiss his own a$$. See you at 7.

But hey, that is just me.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Yeswecan said:


> Well now. I would have replied that I hoped the AP could bend enough in yoga to kiss his own a$$. See you at 7.
> 
> But hey, that is just me.


I rarely feel compelled to engage her in any way as it accomplishes precisely nothing.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

samyeagar said:


> I rarely feel compelled to engage her in any way as it accomplishes precisely nothing.


I understand completely. Somethings are just not worth the energy.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You handled that perfectly Sam!

What a *****!


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## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> Readers digest background...my ex wife is diagnosed NPD and has been with her affair partner for the past four years. We separated in March 2012, divorce final in Sept 2012.
> 
> My youngest son is 13, and spent Father's Day with me per the custody agreement. We had a really good day, but in the middle of it, I received the following text from my ex...
> 
> ...



Oh you are doing it all wrong.

Now is the time to really eff with her but act stupid while you do it.

You should have replied :
"Yoga. Can do."
"4:45. Can do"

Then bring him back at 7 - when asked why 7, you respond with a dumb, blank stare "ohhh, you meant today. My bad."


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Engaging her would just feed her ego. You handle her well.


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