# Separation and Divorce



## 2bmeagain

There is a grieving process even when it isn't death...I have been married 12 years and together for 16 years; my husband left me for another woman and says that he is in love with her and no longer in love with me. I am absolutely crushed and do not know how to get myself through this emotional roller coaster. About 4 days ago he called and said he wanted to come home and that he missed me and wanted our family back together, I was so excited and at the same time very leary. Well I picked him up and he spent half the day with me. Then he said he had to go, I took him back to where he is saying and told me to give him a few days to take care of things and he would be home. Well the next day, I talked to him and I knew that something wasnt right; he emailed me and told me that he chooses this other woman and that he is in love with her. Ouch!! That through me for a loop again. Where to begin and how to continue...We have a 9 year old daughter that he has had contact with twice since he left he blames me for keeping her from him, not true...she chooses not to call him and not to answer the phone when he calls...I just need encouraging words...


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## voivod

2bmeagain said:


> There is a grieving process even when it isn't death...I have been married 12 years and together for 16 years; my husband left me for another woman and says that he is in love with her and no longer in love with me. I am absolutely crushed and do not know how to get myself through this emotional roller coaster. About 4 days ago he called and said he wanted to come home and that he missed me and wanted our family back together, I was so excited and at the same time very leary. Well I picked him up and he spent half the day with me. Then he said he had to go, I took him back to where he is saying and told me to give him a few days to take care of things and he would be home. Well the next day, I talked to him and I knew that something wasnt right; he emailed me and told me that he chooses this other woman and that he is in love with her. Ouch!! That through me for a loop again. Where to begin and how to continue...We have a 9 year old daughter that he has had contact with twice since he left he blames me for keeping her from him, not true...she chooses not to call him and not to answer the phone when he calls...I just need encouraging words...


you are obviouly a desireable person because why else would he look to get back with you. but...

you don't need this emotoinal rollercoaster crap...what made him change his mind back...

idea: next time he does this "i wanna come back" thing, be ready with some sort of pre-written agreement that you can have him sign, sorta conditions for return. have him sign it, then if he slides backwards, make a copy and present it to his harlot. hope she throws his ass out and...poof...

i'm a stinker, sorry... that would be something i would do though...


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## draconis

Be there for your daughter. SHe needs you and feels like her fathe abandned her even if he is trying. Remember that even if you two split he will always be her father and it is better if he has a good relationship with her. But for now she needs you, and she can sense the pain you are going through.

As far as he goes, he made some selfish choices. Chances are he has picked her over you. The newness of it all, before you see the flaws, the mundane.

I pray for you.

draconis


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## Mr Mom

It made me sad to read your story 2bemeagain. My heart goes out to you. Why the words of committment, better or worse etc. are so easily discarded without working to improve any issues at home first are beyond my comprehension. 
I completely understand your feelings on the emotional roller coaster. You have been stripped of any choices and directions with your relationship other than to do damage control with yourself and your child. It's not your fault and you deserve better ! Live for you and your daughter right now. Don't let him play you.....trust has already been broken. My thoughts and prayers are with you to be healthy and find happiness again.


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## Keitheric5

I know the grief. My wife of 8 years left me just before Christmas,but I caused it. It will get better with time. Do not take him back. Go to councelling first!


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## picabu

:iagree:

he thought he wanted to come back for a reason. (newness is already wearing off). like i say greener grass is usually ASTROTURF. he just hasn't experienced enough carpet burn yet.

statistically - highly unlikely he will stay with this bimbo long term. she is a transition piece. 

but until he does come back around, work on you & making a stable life for you & your daughter. be bullet proof if & when he comes back & tell his azz to pound sand!!!!!


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## Rhea

Why the words of committment, better or worse etc. are so easily discarded without working to improve any issues at home first are beyond my comprehension. 

I couldn't have said that better myself. I asked my hubby why he made those vows if he couldn't stick by them. Love through out a marriage goes through phases and marriage truely is work and CANNOT be held together by one person trust me I've tried. I'm dying for my hubby to realize that we are worth the effort to think about the things he says and act on them. To walk away w/o any effort period after some of the words that come out of his mouth is beyond me.


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