# Is he flirting/going too far, or just being friendly?



## BlueEyedGirl83 (Oct 21, 2015)

Two or three times a week, I drop off and/or pick up my neighbor's daughter from school. One of the dads struck up a conversation with me one day, and we've made small talk most every day since. I am happily married for over 11 years, and have mentioned my husband several times, so he knows I'm married. When I mentioned that I'd spent the previous weekend by myself, his reaction was, "Well, why didn't you call me?" I don't have his phone number, nor do I think it prudent to have it. He is a mechanic by trade, and he asked what kind of car I drive. I told him and revealed that my husband and I only have one car between us. He told me I can borrow his car anytime, and that if I ever need help, to please call him. He is not from the US, not a native English speaker, so I don't know how to gauge his intentions. I don't know if he's married/attached, though I plan to find out. Per the agreement with my neighbor, I can't really just avoid him, since I am in the same place as he at least twice a week. I don't know if he's flirting or just being helpful/friendly. And I don't really know what to say to him to discourage further seeming attempts to see/speak to me more often. My husband would be furious if he knew, because he's the kind to get very jealous very easily (he strongly dislikes me to have any male friends at all). Help?!?!?!


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Do you have to get out of your car when you pick this girl up?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

BlueEyedGirl83 said:


> Two or three times a week, I drop off and/or pick up my neighbor's daughter from school. One of the dads struck up a conversation with me one day, and we've made small talk most every day since. I am happily married for over 11 years, and have mentioned my husband several times, so he knows I'm married. When I mentioned that I'd spent the previous weekend by myself, his reaction was, "Well, why didn't you call me?" I don't have his phone number, nor do I think it prudent to have it. He is a mechanic by trade, and he asked what kind of car I drive. I told him and revealed that my husband and I only have one car between us. He told me I can borrow his car anytime, and that if I ever need help, to please call him. He is not from the US, not a native English speaker, so I don't know how to gauge his intentions. I don't know if he's married/attached, though I plan to find out. Per the agreement with my neighbor, I can't really just avoid him, since I am in the same place as he at least twice a week. I don't know if he's flirting or just being helpful/friendly. And I don't really know what to say to him to discourage further seeming attempts to see/speak to me more often. My husband would be furious if he knew, because he's the kind to get very jealous very easily (he strongly dislikes me to have any male friends at all). Help?!?!?!


Definitely flirting.

Moderately hard, too.


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## BlueEyedGirl83 (Oct 21, 2015)

As far as getting out of the car, yes, I do. It's preschool, so I have to be there with her until the teacher arrives, and when I pick her up, the teacher releases her directly to me. I could show up later at pickup time, but not in the morning.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

Yeah, he's flirting. I'd tell your husband about it. You are your husbands business, and someone poaching on his land is something he has a right to know. And, I think if the roles were reversed, you'd want to know if a woman was trying to get your husband to spend time with her when you were gone.


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## NoChoice (Feb 12, 2012)

OP,
You should definitely get his number. Why spend another weekend alone? If you need another car take him up on his offer to borrow his, he may even offer to drive you. Also, the next time you need help with something you will have his number and can avail yourself of his assistance. Just be careful to not let your H know so that he will not become furious.



As you read the above what was your first initial response? If you thought "that would be inappropriate and not something I could consider" then may I ask if it is inappropriate to do why is it not inappropriate to suggest? And why would you not make that known to this man?

If, however, your first initial thought was "wow this sounds intriguing and exciting" then have the decency to tell your H, allow him to get furious and then decide if there is really where you want to be. It sounds like it possibly may not be or else you would have cut the legs out from under this man the first time he made such an inappropriate comment.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

He's not flirting, he's fishing. He'll be paying very close attention to your responses and a guy like that will not be deterred by a wedding ring...Hell, it might make the "game" that much more exciting. You can take this to the bank.

Be wary.


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

I am very friendly and often called as flirting. However, those comments are things that I would never say to another female. But, in some cultures, that may just be how people handle things. Being that friendly could just be the culture in which he was raised. You should mention it to your husband, but I wouldn't make a big deal of it. I would however, keep up a very big "wall" in any interaction with the guy.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

bbdad said:


> I am very friendly and often called as flirting. However, those comments are things that I would never say to another female. But, in some cultures, that may just be how people handle things. Being that friendly could just be the culture in which he was raised. You should mention it to your husband, but I wouldn't make a big deal of it. I would however, keep up a very big "wall" in any interaction with the guy.


"Vagina" is an international language. In regards to that, all men, of all nations speak the same tongue :grin2:


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## xicaque (Oct 23, 2015)

Op, do u like the guy?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

BlueEyedGirl83 said:


> As far as getting out of the car, yes, I do. It's preschool, so I have to be there with her until the teacher arrives, and when I pick her up, the teacher releases her directly to me. I could show up later at pickup time, but not in the morning.


Ah ok. Yeah, most preschools operate this way.

I think I'd wait in the car until the last possible minute (like when you see other moms/kids start to come out) and then go in and be the last one there. That will minimize chit-chat time.

Also, tell your husband.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

intheory said:


> *You say your husband is jealous.
> 
> *I'll assume that's not crazy-nutjob jealous; but normal sexual jealousy that in-love, married people usually have for one another.
> 
> Tell your husband and let him handle it.


What has he done that would be considered jealous?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Well, you could use the old "cellphone trick" which I have employed many times to get rid of flirtatious blowhards.

Just whip out your phone and pretend to be deep in conversation every time you walk up to the school. Seriously. It works.

You can even go into your Settings on your phone and hit the ringtone to make it "ring". Then you simply cut him off mid-sentence... "Sorry, I've gotta take this call."


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

BlueEyedGirl83 said:


> Help?!?!?!


Why complicate this? 

This dude is hitting on a married woman so he's obviously a scumbag. So don't feel bad next time, when he approaches you and you say to him, "FVCK OFF dude, I'm married and my husband has a license to carry."

I serious doubt he'll bother you after that.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> Well, you could use the old "cellphone trick" which I have employed many times to get rid of flirtatious blowhards.
> 
> Just whip out your phone and pretend to be deep in conversation every time you walk up to the school. Seriously. It works.
> 
> You can even go into your Settings on your phone and hit the ringtone to make it "ring". Then you simply cut him off mid-sentence... "Sorry, I've gotta take this call."


Yep, cell phone is a good idea. Yes he is flirting, but stop engaging and just ignore him. I don't see the need to involve your H unless it turns to harassment, personally.


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

He may be very nice or/and he may want to see if you are willing to step out on your hubby.then nhe will go in for the goods. But he might just be nice too so idk I'd have to see the situation upfront. Test out if you want you can use him for his nice offers.Strike up conversation about your man. And how faithful you are and love him ask I'd he has a relationship. Make him a girl friend. Make it known


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## amber74747474 (Oct 24, 2015)

Rambling. this is my first time on here


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