# Need womens opinion, is she worth it?



## DaddyPig (Jun 10, 2018)

Shhsh


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

DaddyPig said:



> she's a good mum


No, sir. She's not. No woman who is an abuser and an adulterer is a "good mum".


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Sounds like your missus has a problem. S
This is physical and emotional abuse. You tell he she must seek help otherwise get professionals involved. She does not respect you. Seek IC for yourself. I know you are feeling low about this but seeking comfort from another woman is not the answer. If you cannot solve this issue, divorce her and move on.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

I'm not a woman and I see why you put it here to get a woman's input specifically but you are going to get much more of a response from anyone, including women, if this is in the Coping With Infidelity (Sub-Forum).

I'll put my first quick response here.

- Doesn't sound like you are technically married, not that it matters much but for a few legal differences. However with the length you have been together, there will be a lot of similarities. Are you married?

- You mention babies, could you list if the babies are biologically yours? Just wanted some clarity on that, since you mention not wanting to leave them.

- More to the point of what I listed right above. If these are your children, you shouldn't have to leave them. The first thing you have to realize is that if you are going to leave your 'partner' you are not going to leave your kids. Stay your ground and where you are. That would be the biggest blunder you could make at this point is to leave.

- Time for you to get legal advice. Even if it's just texting, which trust me, and I'll be backed up on this, it's NOT JUST texting, she has obliterated your partnership and it's time to figure out your legal options. 

- Please don't think about numbing your pain by trying to 'hook' up with someone else. That would be blunder #2 and make you no better than her to be honest. You are weak now and in pain, that is not a knock on you but just stating the obvious and what most of us, including me have gone through when we are confronted with a terrible situation like this. Time to basically just go through the motions and push forward. It will get easier in time, not soon but in time. I say this because you need to be there for your kids, you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself and you need to NOT do anything you would regret yourself in the future, in this time of weakness.

Keep posting and you will continue to get help along this process but make sure to keep an open ear and mind as the people you are getting advice from will have been through situations just like this and come from all walks of life.


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## DaddyPig (Jun 10, 2018)

Dhdh


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## coquille (May 8, 2018)

I am a woman. You are being emotionally, verbally, and physically abused by your partner. She is also cheating on you and gaslighting you, forcing you to doubt yourself in believing that she is only exchanging texts with other men. No wonder you have low self-confidence. Your partner is not being a good mom by any means. Kids learn by emulation. She is showing them terrible ways to treat their partners. This partner happens to be their dad. 

Do not pursue anything with the woman at work. Focus instead on getting out of your situation. Your partner is not good for anything in this situation. She is ruining your life and your self-esteem. She's not being a good role model for her kids either. Seek legal advice in your place and save your kids from an abusive situation that will potentially ruin their adult life if they stay in it. You can be a great dad and role model for them. You will be happy away from her abuse and destructive behavior. 

It is very important to tell your children, in front of your partner, when they witness an abusive episode, that this is NOT the way loving partners are supposed to treat each other. Tell them that what their mother is doing to you is wrong, and you are accepting this only because you want to stay with them. This way they are able to discern a wrongful situation, and not accept abuse done to them by others.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

No, she isn't worth it.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

DaddyPig. You have mentioned several times leaving your kids or them not having the financial security they have now. If you get custody that will not be an issue. Is there something preventing you from going after at least 50/50 custody?


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Daddypig, you state how much cold shoulder youre getting from this chick and then go one to say how much good chemistry there is between you. It don't work like that with women my man. You have a deep attraction for her but that's pretty much the end of the line. You just don't understand women. Ask the ladies on this site if women cheat on guys they have a high romantic in and respect for. If you haven't already heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you", you soon will. 
Now the bad news. Once she has lost interest and respect, it ain't never coming back. So your soul is already gone from her life. She may let you hang around until your body starts to stink pu the place.


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## Prairiefire (Jun 10, 2018)

You say twice that you love her, but I don't really see much sign of it. First thing to do is stand back, take a deep breath, and listen to your heart: Do you really want her anymore--as a unique and valued companion and friend, not just as a a sex partner or a mom for your kids? (You can get other sex partners, and she'll still be mom to your kids no matter what you do.) Do YOU really want HER, as an individual person?

If you do, work on trying to understand her as an individual, separate human being. Listen to her. What does she want from life that she's not getting (not necessarily from you, just anything)? Is something in her life causing her worry, grief, pain, etc? (Again, not necessarily with you--just understand her life and how she experiences it.) Then, see if you can figure out some way to support her in making her life more rewarding or more enjoyable--best case scenario, that will involve something that you, uniquely, can do for her.

If you don't, find a time to sit down and talk with her. Say you've noticed she doesn't seem to particularly want an intimate partner-type relationship with you any more, and you feel pretty much the same way. Propose that you work out, between the two of you, a co-parenting, roommate-type relationship until you can disentangle your finances and whatever else you have tangled and can split amicably.


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## DaddyPig (Jun 10, 2018)

Thanks all


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

I think you should try to get her attacking you on video and call the cops on her. Abuse like this is NOT loving and is a horrible thing to do with young kids in the house. She IS gaslighting you -- no doubt that she is cheating on you, at LEAST emotionally and probably physically. If you need proof, get a PI to follow her -- they will find out quickly what you need to know.

Get to a lawyer and learn your options here, esp. on the financial side of things. Don't "guess" or "know" without getting it directly from someone who DOES know the law.

Did you make copies of her messages (I hope so)? If not, try to get a hold of her phone while she is sleeping to get proof. These may help (or may not depending on the law) when you go to split. She is disrespecting you and your marriage, and I agree -- she is NOT a good mom.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

What happens if she directs her violence to the children?


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## DaddyPig (Jun 10, 2018)

Well thank you for all of your support it’s been good to open up, I’m going to sit down and try to talk to her tonight , some mentioned my feelings towards her and do I want her, truely want her? I’m so glad you said this because Iv been so consumed with where she is and what she’s doing I’ve forgotten what I want. I’m actually going to start recording my situations on my phone and when I leave I can listen back to the abuse to justify just to my self why I left, my dad left when I was young and I swore I wouldn’t become that , I got with like the worst person to achieve that but hey that’s life.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

DaddyPig said:


> I thought I new how women worked hence that probably why I’m here... thanks for ur support


You don't my man. Take my word for it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Don't beat yourself up. We almost always marry either our mom or our dad. Get the book "Getting The Love You Want" and read the first half. It will explain so much about how you ended up with her. Basically, if you were hurt by a parent's actions, you'll subconsciously seek a partner like that partner because you're expecting/hoping that the partner will FIX the bad things the parent did. Unfortunately, they usually don't.


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