# Childless marriage



## Jackiejov (8 mo ago)

Hi everyone. Got married a bit late , at 40 and previously had anxiety due to family stress, so was scared to get pregnant and decided not to have children . My husband already had a son and wasn't that insistent. Now 16 years later I feel things missing in my life. Almost all our friends have children and now grandchildren and experience happy loving moments.
I now feel an emptiness, loneliness amd that something is missing and feel sad. I really love children so much, and am the happiest being around them, took care of my nieces, babysat a few years and experienced the love! Babies are the most beautiful thing on earth. I know there are problems with children coming later. But basically we are alone, don't celebrate many things and don't know why it's bothering me now this much. Basically the anxiety robbed me of this experience!
For those who decided not to have children how do you feel now? I saw a post but closed for commenting.
Thanks for reading.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Just to clarify, are you 56 now? Your age could make a difference in the replies you get so I want to make sure I understand what you said here.

My situation is a bit different. I was unable to have children of my own because after a pregnancy that ended in stillbirth, I could no longer get pregnant. At age 40 we adopted a 10-day old baby boy. He's 33 now. I ended up divorcing my son's father and remarried to a man who had 2 children near my son's age. My stepchildren have moved to other states. My son is still here and after finishing his Phd and is now job hunting. I don't see any grandkids on the horizon any time soon.  So, my experience has been different than yours.

Have you considered doing something that would bring children into your life? For example, could you do foster care? You are still pretty young (compared to me anyway 🤣). Or could you volunteer at some place that helps children?


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## jonty30 (Oct 23, 2021)

Jackiejov said:


> Hi everyone. Got married a bit late , at 40 and previously had anxiety due to family stress, so was scared to get pregnant and decided not to have children . My husband already had a son and wasn't that insistent. Now 16 years later I feel things missing in my life. Almost all our friends have children and now grandchildren and experience happy loving moments.
> I now feel an emptiness, loneliness amd that something is missing and feel sad. I really love children so much, and am the happiest being around them, took care of my nieces, babysat a few years and experienced the love! Babies are the most beautiful thing on earth. I know there are problems with children coming later. But basically we are alone, don't celebrate many things and don't know why it's bothering me now this much. Basically the anxiety robbed me of this experience!
> For those who decided not to have children how do you feel now? I saw a post but closed for commenting.
> Thanks for reading.


Get involved in charitable efforts that involve children.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Have you thought about fostering?


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Jackiejov said:


> For those who decided not to have children how do you feel now? I saw a post but closed for commenting.


I'm your age. I never wanted children but when DH & I married around the same age you did, we tried to have kids. When the old fashioned way didn't work, we consulted a reproductive specialist to learn about IVF. Between the high costs, the time commitment (being at the doctor daily) & the health risks to me, we said no. We looked into adoption which was heartbreaking for me. I felt very abused & demeaned by the system 

I'm OK with our decision. This weekend I attended the bridal shower of a dear friend's daughter & that made me a bit melancholy that I will never enjoy celebrating milestones like that but I know motherhood wasn't for me.


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## Diceplayer (Oct 12, 2019)

I agree with others; get involved with something involving kids. My wife volunteers at the church nursery and the kids love her. They call her their church grandma.


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