# 1 year in a relationship, shall I engage her? Vaginal orgasm vs clitoris orgasm. Need



## Engaged? (Jan 20, 2011)

Hi all,

a vaginal or clitoris orgasm? My girlfriend is having clitoris orgasm in only this way and I am worried whether I have ever given her vaginal orgasm. 

Women please help us?


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## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

Engagement is a very personal decision and all depends upon where you two are at and want to be down the line. My wife and I got engaged in 2.5 months and were married in 8 months. Of course, now we are in counseling after 11 years and 4 kids, but that is mostly a function of me being an idiot. It all depends on YOU guys.

Now, what you are speaking about is clitoral stimulation. Do not focus on what kind of orgasm she is or not having. Or even whether she is having the "o" at all. Focus on her emotional needs, make her feel loved and secure. The other responses will take care of themselves. Sex is purely an act from a woman to display what is on the inside. If she feels emotionally filled up, she will pour out like crazy!

And, no, I am not a woman. But, I now consider myself emotionally educated!


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## Engaged? (Jan 20, 2011)

.


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## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

"definetely will become a problem and probably result into infidelity and divorse and that is why I have to be honestly worried a bout it."

If you really believe this, you are not ready to get married. Just my take.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

An orgasm is an orgasm. To be honest, how does it matter how we achieve it, so long as we actually do?


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## Engaged? (Jan 20, 2011)

Thanks for you replies.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Engaged: Have you asked her IF she is orgasming , any moaning, some heavy breathing going on? Or are you worried she is faking it for your benefit, as to please you, not wanting to hurt you because you feel so strongly she must get hers? 

By the way, I think that makes you a Generous & Great lover to care so much. Need more men like that. 

I am one who has Vaginal ones I guess, never needing to touch myself there as I often see in porn, etc, but all women are different! So long as she IS orgasming in some way by your love making, this is all that matters. Some women have never orgasmed at all from any form of intercoarse, I have seen statistics as high as 60% of all women can not , this seems rather High to me though. 

Here are some facts & myths Female Orgasms: Myths and Facts | General Health | Women's Health Information | SOGC


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Well, can't a woman achieve a vaginal orgasm with the rabbit?

I agree with SimplyAmorous - it's commendable that you care so much and try to make your GF experience all that there is to experience. However I think that you put too much importance on a vaginal orgasm as a qualifier for your relationship overall.


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## Engaged? (Jan 20, 2011)

I want to think of my future early on....


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## Engaged? (Jan 20, 2011)

Is not all about vaginal orgasm


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Odds are that after 10 years and kids you will have much more important problems than "did she or did she not have a vaginal orgasm". Read the forum. Her having a vaginal orgasm with you does not equal you and her having a 100% perfect relationship.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Engaged? said:


> I do give good foreplay and when she orgasm she soetimes even cry and hold me for a minute before she catch up her breath back.
> my problem is...she orgasm after stimulating herself on her clitoris, never without a help of her or my finger. I want to satisfy her both vaginal and clitoris and thats why i am worried if having vaginal orgasm is a big deal for a woman especially very experience women who have had incredible orgams. I want to think of my future early on....


Well, from the sounds of this - she *IS* orgasming (with the crying & breathlessness), so this IS what is MOST important here. 

You are young, much to explore yet, some women seriously can NOT orgasm without that extra touching, it is NOT your fault. 

And it also makes little difference how Big, how wide & How many inches either, you may never be able to do it - Size means little cause I have talked, read & listend to many women on this, some have alot more inches than my husband & boast of their love making skills also- best lovers on earth some say (you also sound wonderful by the way!) and still they can not orgasm vaginally -some can only do it through oral alone even, and these are women up in ages too, so lots of practice & postions over the years. 

At least you know she is capable with a little extra stimulation while you penetrate her, this is more than many! It is all good .


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Engaged? said:


> SimplyAmorous: Thanks for your reply, I do have big one that sometimes missionary with legs up or doggy if I go too deep it hurts her...so I keep smooth slow thrust and hard according to her response of her breath and moarns. I have given vaginal orgasm to almost all women I had previously but this... and she is special to me and that is why i want to marry her, but she cannot acheve vaginal..it killing me ...strange strange


 Read this poor man's story about his girfriend girlfriend CANNOT ORGASM. killing my self esteem. does cyproheptadine work? - HealthBoards Message Boards

I went & looked this back up cause it was a post I never really forgot, he was going literally out of his mind -would have climbed mountains to get her to orgasm! I loved his enthusiaum, I really did. But it bothered him to such a degree, he might have had to let the relationship go. 

The fact is : Some men truly need their women to have an orgasm or it messes with their manhood or something, they want to bestow that pleasue in such a way, they can't seem to overcome it. My husband is one of these men, this would eat at him If I had trouble. 

But your story is SOOO different, SHE IS getting hers !! Much to be thankful for. Reading this man's plight should make you feel very blessed.


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Don't worry about the vaginal ones. Up until five years into ours, she never had one. Then one day, it just happened. Really, so weird. This was after having tried to get her one manually.
Now, about her orgasming clitorally, maybe going down on her might be fun for her as well, but not with the mindset of giving her an orgasm. Just tell her that you are gonna make her enjoy this, and when she wants, you can stop, but until then you will enjoy it. You know, takes the pressure off she might feel of having you make her come. Do this once in a while

If you really want to make her have a vaginal orgasm, you could try buying a few toys that are mode for that purpose, there are some handy guides online about how to manually and guide her through it, just without pressure, as nothing kills an orgasm more than pressure.

But really, from what I read on this forum, be glad your wife does orgasm. I used to think that all women could just orgasm, but there seems to be a lot of variety.


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

The research that I have read states that only about 30% of women have vaginal orgasms without clitoral stimulation. I am currently reading a book "Extended Massive Orgasm" by Steve and Vera Bodansky and it says "most women do not have orgasms during intercourse... Some women, however, are able to reach orgasm through penetration with a penis. This usually requires that the clitoris is somehow stimulated by the motion of the penis and the vagina." It goes on to explain that there are many factors that affect this and they are different for different women. 

I have been married for over 30 years and have never had a vaginal orgasm without external stimulation to my clitoris. If she is happy and it isn't broke, quit trying to fix it. And for heavens sake, enjoy life, it sounds good. Don't go looking for trouble because of your male ego!!!


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

I know every woman is different, but I can genuinely say I've only "crygasmed" from g-spot Os. I don't announce the type of orgasm that I've had either. Perhaps she's had one and you haven't realized it?


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## mylife1956 (Feb 26, 2012)

I RARELY have a vaginal orgasm but am perfectly happy and content with a clitoral orgasm. I Love when I have one, and dont feel like I am lacking in any way.  Happy Lover!!!!!!!!


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