# Trying to help my marraige, How long should men last?



## Joseph5 (Jul 13, 2013)

Ok, normally I wouldn't put this type of subject in a forum but I'm doing so to help my marriage. My wife and I have been talking about how long men last. I would like to get some info from some honest guys or women. When your having sex what is the average time that your able to go until you come? Sorry if this is to specific of a topic. I'm just trying to figure out if I should be lasting longer than I do. My wife doesn't say much about it but I can tell that it dose bother her. I'm 33 years old and I have used Ciallis to try and help with this topic. Thank you for any information you can give.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

I could go forever. 

There are times when I'd have to stop for a moment to avoid climaxing too soon but usually I'll hit my mental 'ok to cum' button in my head after about 15-20 minutes.

I'm not certain from your question if you've got an issue with keeping it up or PE.

Hope my input helps you in your quest.

I'm 50


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

2-3 hours
I mean 2-3 minutes.
Seriously though 10-15 minutes, however you can extend that time by rubbing one out 45 minutes before you have sex.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I usually cant go much longer than 5 to 10 minutes. We dont have sex enough. But if Im lucky and I've jacked it a day before I can go a good 30 minutes. But around then she starts to get sore anyways so.....ya.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

Since the vasectomy and not using condoms maybe 5 minutes. I'm hoping that will get longer for me. Prior to the procedure i could go almost indefinitely because she always made me wear a condom.

Other factors include: time of day, how much I've drank, and what she has done to turn me on (lingerie, foreplay for me, etc...-which is usually nill).


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I have a lot of control. She gets sore/tired with bj's so even though it's not my norm or preference, I can get myself to finish in 5-7 minutes that way. With regular sex I'll typically go 10-15 minutes. She's a one and done kind of gal and starts to get dry after orgasming. I can easily go 30-40 minutes but it's better for both of us if I just let it happen within a few minutes of her finishing.


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## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

If she is not happy, you aren't going long enough!

Are you doing other things to arouse her or potentially giver her an orgasm before penetration.? If she has already cum, then if you climax quickly, if will be ok.

Also, you can train yourself to last longer. Read up on the squeeze method and start and stop techinques. 

Finally, drugs like cialis and some of the antidepressants can help if other solutions don't


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

It usually only takes me about five minutes if it's the first time that day, but I stay hard for another 10 minutes and keep going. If it's the second time that day, maybe 20 minutes.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

lenzi said:


> I could go forever.
> 
> There are times when I'd have to stop for a moment to avoid climaxing too soon but usually I'll hit my mental 'ok to cum' button in my head after about 15-20 minutes.
> 
> ...


There ya go....I go till I hit the "OK to cum button"...

During intercourse, I mentally engage my self, concentrating on identifying the sensation of impending orgasm ....

Then I vary my stroke, depth, speed, rhythm,....any subtile little change that will interrupt the orgasm circuit briefly...

Sometimes I have to stop thrusting completely......

But by doing this, I can engage in intercourse essentially any reasonable length of time....

Lets face it, 20 minutes if intercourse is as much as both parties are usually willing to commit to...

If she hasn't had an orgasm by then, and I felt she wanted to, and just couldn't quite hit the peak, I would probably give her oral to orgasm and then finish PIV.....

As I have said elsewhere, I was in to sex at an early age, and read everything I could on the subject....

I masturbated a lot in my teens, and the sex books said women liked extended foreplay, and prolonged PIV.......

So I practiced holding off orgasm during masturbation, and developed the ability to have prolonged penile stimulation before orgasm.....

My theory was "If a woman liked me enough to have sex with me, and she REALLY liked the way I made love, making love to her again in the future was going to be a cinch...

So literally every time I have intercourse with a woman, in my mind is the goal to make it so special she will want me to make love to her again tomorrow.....It made for a lot of really good sex, and lots of tomorrows.....

I am 66, married 47 years...

the woodchuck


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

It used to be 10-20 minutes but now he's on testosterone and can last 30-40 minutes easily.

He's 47.


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## Batman4691 (Jun 24, 2013)

For me and my wife, it all depends upon her.

If she wants me to orgasm after 5 minutes of intercourse, I will within a couple minutes.

If she wants me to stay big and hard, and go for longer, I will. 
We have literally gone over 3 hours on rare occasions in the past. Lots of different positions, with lots of foreplay in between. 
Which can make it sore and difficult to walk the next day.

I would say a good "average" time for us, is 30-45 minutes from start to finish. Foreplay, then sex to orgasm, with me finishing last. I'm 49 and my wife is 48.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

SO can last as long as I need him to last assuming it's not one of those nights where there's a lot of tension from outside things running through his mind.

Usually I want him to last until I've had at least 2 orgasms or about 15-20minutes,not including foreplay which is about 20-25mins.

Then there's the morning quickie before grocery shopping on Saturdays.5-10minutes LOL


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## sgreenberg (Jul 9, 2013)

I can generally last just as long as my wife needs. She is a one-and-done kind of gal, so I generally try to come right after she comes. Of course, when she comes it gets me so excited sometimes we just both finish at the same time. 

Actual PIV trusting time is probably in the 10 minute range, depending how long it takes the mrs to get there - sometimes it's less, sometimes it's more. There's somewhere between 5 minutes and 30 minutes of foreplay prior, usually. 

The trick is being able to come when it's time, and not to come before nor to go too long after. Men can improve their ability to control this various ways, some mentioned here:

- Simply take care of yourself some amount of time prior to sex (a few hours prior usually works for me if I haven't come in a few days). This will generally make it take longer for your to come. 

-Train yourself to know your point of no return (PONR). You do this either by yourself or with the mrs, usually using manual stimulation. Basically jerk it to the edge of orgasm and then stop. You can clench your PC/BC muscles to help hold back at that last moment. Let your arousal come back down a bit then start again. You can ride the roller coaster a few times, and either finish at some point or not.

- If you've trained and understand your PONR, then during sex as you are approaching orgasm stop before you cross the PONR. You can stop moving but stay inside her, you can pull out for a minute or 2, you can clench your PC/BC muscles, you can also pinch around the head of the penis to decrease your arousal level.

There's lots of info on improving your ejaculatory control on the interwebs. Not sure if this is your issue or not, but good luck with the sex life in any case.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

First time for me, maybe 5 minutes.

Second time, maybe 15 minutes

Third time, maybe 30 minutes.


My wifee feels too good for me to just take forever. If I put my mind elsewhere though, I can last up to 15 minutes the first time, but its not easy. You could always wear a numbing condom or use cream so you'd last extremely long.


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

Also, my wife has a "sweet spot" of when I start PIV and how long before it becomes annoying to her. For her, it's usually 3-5 minutes, and if I go much beyond that it is uncomfortable for her. Once I see that ouch look in her eye then it's no more fun for me. So I wonder if I've kinda programmed myself to go within that 3-5 minute time frame. I was hoping that now post-vas we could enjoy endless hours of lovemaking but that hasn't happened either.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

get her going with oral and fingers until she pulls you up by the ears!

then it don't matter so much how long you last.


open honest communication is key. try to get her to open up. feed her some tequila rose and have a nice talk about sex and what you and her like.


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## mrbambino (Jun 18, 2013)

I can last doing any kind of sex except PIV cause she's too tight I can't hold it for more than 3-5 minutes but she's also so quick to climax and almost all the time she orgasms before I do! I always give her oral before and lots of foreplay by the time we get to PIV she is just hanging on the verge of orgasm so she only needs a push before she screams of orgasm! 
I'm sure it's different from one woman to another, every woman has its own needs so you don't need to compare yourself to people lasting hours cause that's not normal anyway unless she's torn down there and you feel almost no resistance penetrating lol
Using dildos can help take some of the pressure off you as well!

If she loves you, she will find a way with you to get you both happy! Unless some real illness is in the equation!


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## obmon (Mar 27, 2013)

I'm 30.

Foreplay for me lasts about 20 - 30 minutes. I love giving oral, and almost always demand 2 from her before I go piv. PIV, depending on how high I am can be anywhere from 30 minutes to 90 minutes. Only time I ever finished in less than 10 minutes, it was a situation involving loss of control.

Lasting a long time is not the greatest thing in the world. It is in fact a hindrance. Women don't want marathon lovers, and sometimes you just want to reach the goal.

The good thing is about training yourself to last so long, is that eventually, the climax won't be a big deal for you. Bring your wife to orgasm in the closet at a dinner party and go back to the table, still hard, while your wife straightens her clothes out.


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## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

Sheesh, you guys are all marathon stallions!

I feel like I've really done something great if I last 5 minutes. I don't know if its psychological a physical thing. 

My wife thinks its because I'm on the small side that everything I've got is being stimulated at once. When I try to last longer I have to stop and recover for 30 seconds to a minute. She says those breaks screw up the rythym of things anyways so I may as well just finish. 

She seems content, as I always take care of her before hand with a hand or mouth and then after my 3-5 minutes of glory, I usually take care of her again with one of her larger toys and seems happy enough with that arrangement. I do wish I could last longer though.


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## obmon (Mar 27, 2013)

Lord Summerisle said:


> Sheesh, you guys are all marathon stallions!
> 
> I feel like I've really done something great if I last 5 minutes. I don't know if its psychological a physical thing.
> 
> ...


You should look into tantric sex. Train your body to last longer through practice. It gives a couple something to do as well.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I typically have at least 3 orgasms before Mr. Pink penetrates me. Once he penetrates, he is speeding to the finish line, I have been primed with several prior orgasms, and the final orgasm for me doesn't take long at all. PIV usually doesn't last more than 3 minutes. There are times when he can last much longer and I love those times because we switch to different positions and I generally get an orgasm in each! After those times, I am dead to the world for the rest of the night. 

There are times when he will penetrate me with one of my toys either before or after PIV because he/we wanted the sex to last longer. 

Mr. Pink is rarely ever able to go for round 2 until a solid 12 hours have passed. 

Mr. Pink also takes Cialis due to his blood pressure problems. Cialis/Viagara don't do anything for longevity, nor for turn around time, they only help to open e blood vessels so erection can happen.

Having good control is a good thing, but there are ways to work around it if your wife would like you to last longer and it's different for everyone.


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## Lord Summerisle (May 23, 2013)

Sounds like Mr. Pink and I have a similar strategy. Thanks for sharing, the other guys on here were starting to give me a complex. :smthumbup:


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## shesgone (Feb 4, 2011)

I agree with Pink and Summerisle.
My wife and I rarely have sex without fore play. 
Foreplay may last 5 minutes or may last 3 hours. 
99.9% of the time She has numerous orgasms before I penetrate her.
I usually don't last more than 10 minutes once I penetrate her, but that gives her time to have several more before I finish. LOL


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## eyuop (Apr 7, 2013)

My wife doesn't like orgasms as much without PIV. I'm not sure why (I mean, what is there not to like about an orgasm???). Anyway, she also doesn't like multiple orgasms (go figure!).

Depending on the time of the month, she likes foreplay. Otherwise, she just wants me to go for it hard and straight and in her words, "quit messing around" (especially when she is ovulating). I could last as long as she wanted me to last (usually -- unless it has been a long time), but she doesn't like long sex sessions with too much PIV. She like oral and direct stimulation on the "fun spot". If I'm going too long for her and it just isn't doing it for her "button", she will reach down and give it the pushes it needs (or have me do this) to climax. She always wants PIV during her orgasms, and loves it when it happens simultaneously. 

Oddly, I sometimes want more foreplay and longer sessions (with more positions, etc.). But when she is "desirous", she just wants to get off quicker than all of that jazz!

I find it fascinating to hear what others like or do not like when it comes to sex.


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## doubletrouble (Apr 23, 2013)

It's a variable all through my life. Anywhere from initial insertion to hour after hour. Very situational. After the cheating, it was difficult to even get up, but that's evolved and now we're back to MY specification that she always comes first.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Just PIV? I top out at about an hour max, before things need to be changed up. Of course that hour would not be the same repetitive motion or position.

I am definitely in the minority, and its always been this way no matter the girl. When I first started having sex I always used condoms (don't with the wife) but because I hated condoms i could go all night and would only finish when I decided to. Without condoms I was 20 minutes max it seemed, but overtime I just trained myself. 

I take my mind to another place to prevent from cuming too early.


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Goldmember357 said:


> I take my mind to another place to prevent from cuming too early.


Then what's the point?


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