# Retirement/401k differences



## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

I got a copy of the settlement papers and something seems strange here... The method to calculate Ws share of my retirement is 50% of the accrued value during our marriage. Makes sense here, she gets half of what has been accumulated during marriage. My 401k on the other hand states that she gets 50%. Not 50% accumulated during marriage. 50%.

I'm not sure I like this. Thats a pretty big hit, as I have been investing for quite a while, and while I'm not tooting my horn and saying I'm rich by any stretch, some decisions worked out well.

Why would one be calculated one way and the other be in a different way? Other than to get a healthy retirement sum that is... I'm not saying I won't agree to it... I'm not saying its wrong... I'm saying I'm not sure I like it.

I know youall can't answer to my legal issues in my state. But, what has been anyones experience here?


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

No. 1,

What does your lawyer say? Sometimes they are viewed as just assets like a house, but I agree you need to say just accrued during marriage.

Sorry no more experience than that.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

It is half of the amount accrued during your marriage - full stop.

Hey - you are the injured party here. Stand up for yourself. Remember a few months ago when I said people can only treat you as badly as you let them? Remember how you responded? Because I do. 




no1.daddy2kids said:


> I got a copy of the settlement papers and something seems strange here... The method to calculate Ws share of my retirement is 50% of the accrued value during our marriage. Makes sense here, she gets half of what has been accumulated during marriage. My 401k on the other hand states that she gets 50%. Not 50% accumulated during marriage. 50%.
> 
> I'm not sure I like this. Thats a pretty big hit, as I have been investing for quite a while, and while I'm not tooting my horn and saying I'm rich by any stretch, some decisions worked out well.
> 
> ...


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

FA:
Here is a little more information. I got this _this evening_. I haven't had a chance to talk with my Atty. I'm in a hotel room in the middle of podunk Ohio trying to make sense of this.

Mem:


> Hey - you are the injured party here. Stand up for yourself.


Step off man...  I didn't say I wouldn't or I'm folding. Right now I don't like the looks of it. Our court date is on Friday. Its a matter of how much of a stink I want to make with an alternate proposal and the battle/war ratio.

I agree, it seems like it should be 50% of accumulated value. I can't find any reason why one would be calculated one way and the other the other way. Heck, even the administrators website that will draft the QDRO for you allows you to create either one in that fashion. 

Like I said. I wondered what others experience was. Thanks guys...


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

I assume the dollar difference between these 2 calculations is large yes? If so, then you calmly force compliance with the law. And the law is "asset appreciation during the marriage". 

You can put a smiley face after telling me to step off - but it doesn't change one simple fact. The law is on your side. You are not the one making a "stink" here. You simply say that you insist they follow standard law here and if SHE fights than SHE is the one making a stink NOT you. 

Assertive people don't make "stinks" they enforce valid, legally defensible boundaries. Aggressive people - like your ex wife - make stinks. 

But an assertive person just stays calm and asks "why do you think you are entitled to more than the legal split?"






no1.daddy2kids said:


> FA:
> Here is a little more information. I got this _this evening_. I haven't had a chance to talk with my Atty. I'm in a hotel room in the middle of podunk Ohio trying to make sense of this.
> 
> Mem:
> ...


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## no1.daddy2kids (Jul 29, 2009)

yes, the dollar figure was significant. Her attorney wrote it that way as she did not know what the value was at marriage. Neither do I. However W backed me up that I have had the account since hiring. I gave her a fixed amount, a generous fixed amount, probably 75% accumulated and they accepted. 



MEM11363 said:


> I assume the dollar difference between these 2 calculations is large yes? If so, then you calmly force compliance with the law. And the law is "asset appreciation during the marriage".
> 
> You can put a smiley face after telling me to step off - but it doesn't change one simple fact. The law is on your side. You are not the one making a "stink" here. You simply say that you insist they follow standard law here and if SHE fights than SHE is the one making a stink NOT you.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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