# She does not let me see my children



## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

Hello everybody, 

I came here because honestly I always get the best answers and have made some friends along the way. Pretty much we are separated and just waiting to finalize the divorce, and we have tried to get along, but she is the type of person that when things do not go her way it becomes a problem. Since she is getting a good amount for child support, plus her salary, of course things are looking good for her, and now she likes to make comments to me about things she purchase and how all her accounts are up to date, which I replied "honestly good for you, but I rather talk about the children" since then she caught some feelings and now every time I want to go pick my two year old, she gives me an excuse of why I cant. I noticed every time we have issues, I can't see them until she cools off and this is very frustrating. Recently I just learned she blocked my number, now I cant call her or text her, pretty much communication now is via her work email.

I just want to see if anybody else experience something similar, and any advise.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

What does your custody agreement say? 

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## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

Honestly we didn't do one since we both agreed children visitation was not going to be an issue, but lately it has started to be and I'm considering strongly getting some type of written agreement between us

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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Eek!!!!!! @plomito, listen to me and listen good. You absolutely, positively have to get a _legally_ recognized custody agreement in place ASAP. Her word and a hand shake are worthless. It has to be a legal document that can be enforceable if she chooses to renege on your agreement. 

Take to your lawyer and have them add it to your divorce. 

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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Lila said:


> What does your custody agreement say?


^ This

You are paying child support but have no parenting plan? How does that work? Since CS is typically just a calculation based on income and overnights, not sure how you came up with a number without a parenting plan.

Think about this a little bit, your daughter is 2. You will most likely be dealing with your stbx for a long time (Read as at least 16 more years). When you say things like "she is the type of person that when things do not go her way it becomes a problem" it should raise a red flag that you need to protect yourself. 

Since your divorce has not been finalized, I would highly recommend that if you don't have an attorney, you get one. Then go over whatever are submitting as your divorce settlement and make sure that it covers all the bases and leaves no room for ambiguity.

Address things like:
- Parenting plan
- Who can claim the child on taxes
- Right of first refusal
- Child Support
- Alimony (make sure it is non-modifiable and has a time limit)
- Holidays & school vacation days

I say this because you want to have something you can use when your stbx decides she doesn't want to play by the rules. If you leave her a loophole, she sounds like the type who would use it.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

plomito said:


> Honestly we didn't do one


Well, there you go.

You want any semblance of normalcy or to have any rights over your child? Get a freakin' lawyer.

In the meantime, you can stop giving her any money. Tell her when the agreement is signed, you'll start paying again. Put what you were giving her into a separate savings account so the lawyers can see that you're not trying to shaft her, and give it to her once the paper's signed.


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

I looked back at a couple of your previous threads and a couple of questions come to mind.

Are you still living with your stbx?

Have you retained an attorney for yourself?


You were advised months ago to seek legal counsel to help you with your situation. I am guessing that you are listening to your stbx when it comes to legal questions instead of seeking the answers for yourself. You need to stop that because you are not getting the whole truth. And don't go to her lawyer, get your own. 

And if you are still living with your stbx, not sure why you are paying CS and not able to see your children.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Lila said:


> Eek!!!!!! @plomito, listen to me and listen good. You absolutely, positively have to get a _legally_ recognized custody agreement in place ASAP. Her word and a hand shake are worthless. It has to be a legal document that can be enforceable if she chooses to renege on your agreement.
> 
> Take to your lawyer and have them add it to your divorce.
> 
> Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk


Whew!

Tone it down girl. That hurt my ears.

You are going to wake up @Sidney

I agree with this answer.


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## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

turnera said:


> Well, there you go.
> 
> You want any semblance of normalcy or to have any rights over your child? Get a freakin' lawyer.
> 
> In the meantime, you can stop giving her any money. Tell her when the agreement is signed, you'll start paying again. Put what you were giving her into a separate savings account so the lawyers can see that you're not trying to shaft her, and give it to her once the paper's signed.


Child support comes straight from my check to her. We never had issues about the children, this is something new 

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## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

C3156 said:


> I looked back at a couple of your previous threads and a couple of questions come to mind.
> 
> Are you still living with your stbx?
> 
> ...


No, I moved out months ago and we filed for uncontested divorce because it was pretty much a mutual agreement. I did messed up with the children visitation because that was something I had to put down on the table but because we agreed that it wasn't going to be an issue, then it was something that we just verbally agreed (my stupid mistake) 

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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

In my state, a judge will not even sign off on a divorce decree for a couple with children unless it contains a custody agreement, addresses child support issues and meets several other requirements for a parenting plan. 

You, OP, need a competent attorney and a legal custody agreement.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

plomito said:


> We never had issues about the children,


And now you do. Which is why you need a lawyer now.


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