# Smartphones killing our marriage



## back9 (Dec 14, 2009)

I have a demanding job and am constantly on my blackberry. My wife and I have always agreed that my job has to be given due regard in order to provide for the life we are accustomed to. 

However, recently, my bro-in-law bought my wife a blackberry and she is now extremely addicted to the messenger feature that lets her keep in touch with friends and family. My kids complain that she is on it to distraction (even when driving!). Anytime I am driving and we are out as a family, she is on it! And to top it all off, we were trying to get intimate tonight and had gotten to second base when she asked me to check on the kids to make sure there was no coitus interruptus. When I came back to our room she was messengering with her brother. It killed the mood for me and as much as she tried, I wasn't "up" for it anymore. I have complained about this a lot to her and this time I thought I would give her a taste of her own medicine and picked up my blackberry while she was trying to get me back in the mood. Rather than get upset, she asked if I need a minute to answer emails and then went back to her own blackberry!

This addiction of hers has to stop. While I like her to be in touch with friends and family, it shouldn't be constant and distracting or worse to us and our kids. Since talking doesn't seem to work, nor does insulting her by picking up the bb while she is trying to turn me on, I am thinking of chucking her bb out the car window on the highway unless someone else has a better idea.

Help!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HappyHer (Nov 12, 2009)

That behavior is rude. Texting and emailing should be done after attention is given to someone, not during. Let her know that you and the kids feel hurt and invalidated by the way this is being carried on and let her know what you would like for it to look like - for example, only text and email during her own time, not during family or alone time.


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## Chet8625 (Jul 13, 2010)

"I have a demanding job and am constantly on my blackberry. My wife and I have always agreed that my job has to be given due regard in order to provide for the life we are accustomed to."

That may be the case, but from your wife's perspective you were taking away from "her" time. Now you are getting it back.

I think you need to talk to her and come to a compromise on both of your usage of your phones so that neither of you can be accused of overdoing it.


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