# Husbands Indfedelity= a slow painful death



## eaustin87 (May 6, 2009)

so after he cheated i have had many feelings that you have all seen. my confusion my hatred, my wanting to do the same...this is the worst and i am in tears at this point to think that his infedelity had to result in a slow painfulk death for me. after he cheated we were tested. clean for gaughnarhea and chlymidia, thismorning I found out that WE are now HIV+. I am confused. I have been monagomus my entire relationship, he is the one that hasn't. throughout my pregnancy i was tested etc. and i was negative. my lil girl was tested at birth. negative. he admitted he cheated around christmas-new years. but the HD said it can take 6 mos to show in the test. so now i feel like i'm missing a HUGE peice in the puzzle and he denies anything before this last time( other than the first girl i knew about). what do i do?


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

I'm sorry to say this, but this bastard owes you a polygraph for YOUR life and for your DAUGHTER'S life. He owes this to you. I'm so sorry for your pain. You absolutely deserve to know the truth. Polygraph time. This is not a joke.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

First, eaustin87, I'm so sorry to hear your news! It must be devastating and I want you to know we're here for you okay? 

Next, I did some research into HIV testing for you and here's what I found: 



> Most HIV tests are antibody tests that measure the antibodies your body makes against HIV. It can take some time for the immune system to produce enough antibodies for the antibody test to detect and this time period can vary from person to person. This time period is commonly referred to as the “window period”. Most people will develop detectable antibodies within 2 to 8 weeks (the average is 25 days). Even so, there is a chance that some individuals will take longer to develop detectable antibodies. Therefore, if the initial negative HIV test was conducted within the first 3 months after possible exposure, repeat testing should be considered >3 months after the exposure occurred to account for the possibility of a false-negative result. Ninety seven percent will develop antibodies in the first 3 months following the time of their infection. In very rare cases, it can take up to 6 months to develop antibodies to HIV.


I am not a doctor but it sounds like to me if your husband was unfaithful about December 25th, then by January 25th you would have had enough antibodies produced to do a test. Then just to be super safe they suggest a test at 3 months and 6 months after possible exposure to HIV just to be sure. Again, I may have read it wrong but that's from this website:National HIV and STD Testing Resources "How long after a possible exposure should I wait to get tested for HIV?" I hope it helps.

(hug) I'm so sorry.


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## eaustin87 (May 6, 2009)

i am so upset. now more than ever considering a divorce.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

I agree with LuvMyH. If you choose a divorce that is your right, absolutely, but right now you've had a major trauma finding out this news. Do you have family nearby or maybe a pastor you can turn to?


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## Mo Simpson (Jun 3, 2009)

So genuinely sorry for this awful situation your husband has put you in. This has to be the height of reckless, selfish behaviour.

As has already been said, find whatever support you can and look after yourself and your daughter!

All the best!


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## MrsInPain (Feb 5, 2010)

eaustin87 said:


> so after he cheated i have had many feelings that you have all seen. my confusion my hatred, my wanting to do the same...this is the worst and i am in tears at this point to think that his infedelity had to result in a slow painfulk death for me. after he cheated we were tested. clean for gaughnarhea and chlymidia, thismorning I found out that WE are now HIV+. I am confused. I have been monagomus my entire relationship, he is the one that hasn't. throughout my pregnancy i was tested etc. and i was negative. my lil girl was tested at birth. negative. he admitted he cheated around christmas-new years. but the HD said it can take 6 mos to show in the test. so now i feel like i'm missing a HUGE peice in the puzzle and he denies anything before this last time( other than the first girl i knew about). what do i do?


Oh my goodness, I know that words are of little comfort right now,
but I am so terribly sorry that you have to endure this. 

I really hope, like others have mentioned, that you have some family or friends around that could lend you some support. You will need a lot of loving support. Just remember, we are all here for you.

I think right now you should just try to relax for a while and get your head clear. Again, like others said, worry about the divorce later. 

Your little girl, I'm sure, is a precious little companion for you right now. Hold her tight and remember she is your priority in all this. 

I really hope the pain subsides for you soon. Again, I'm so sorry.


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