# i guess it is over..



## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Well, my wife had an affair for twelve weeks and then left me for six weeks. We almost divorced, then we reconciled and stayed together for four weeks. Then after discovering she still contacted him, without telling me, I was ugly and insulting towards her for eight hours straight. A few days later she left for the other person. 

In the middle she came clean about everything, admitted she was wrong, apologized and committed herself to rebuilding our marriage. It is a sex relationship, no doubt. She does whatever the other guy wants sexually. 

I got tired of the back and forth, the other guy kept calling and sending the police, and I left the country. I took nothing but the clothes on my back. Now, our divorce paperwork has sat for three months unsigned by her. She seems unwilling to formally end our marriage. 

For me, I am just going to have fun, date and fool around as much as I can with other women and forget about this. Yes, she can have him, but I am going to have a good many. Does this ever work out? Will she ever come back? 

It's been a near twenty year relationship. Last time, she left in the night, I thought it is over. So, I am now looking for someone new.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

LostAndy said:


> Well, my wife had an affair for twelve weeks and then left me for six weeks. We almost divorced, then we reconciled and stayed together for four weeks. *Then after discovering she still contacted him, without telling me, I was ugly and insulting towards her for eight hours straight.* A few days later she left for the other person.
> 
> You didn't reconcile anything. Her affair never ended. Now you think you're the bad guy for being angry and upset? She showed her true colors. Drop the rope and let her go.
> 
> ...


Twenty years was meaningless to her or she wouldn't be gone would she? Finish it and move on


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## sa58 (Feb 26, 2018)

Why would you want her back now.
She has already destroyed the marriage.
Move on find someone new. You know what to do 
leave her alone and move on to better.

If you see the other man walk up to him 
and shake his hand and say thanks for taking her 
off my hands and good luck. Do this in front of her
if possible. Yes it is mean but they deserve each other.


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## Stillasamountain (Jan 13, 2014)

LostAndy said:


> She does whatever the other guy wants sexually.
> 
> I got tired of the back and forth, the other guy kept calling and sending the police, and I left the country.



Isn’t that a kick in the nuts? When they do all the kinky, naughty stuff with the AP?

Why was this guy sending the police?!


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Stillasamountain said:


> Isn’t that a kick in the nuts? When they do all the kinky, naughty stuff with the AP?
> 
> Why was this guy sending the police?!


She did it with me for four weeks, full on the kinky stuff. I had her do it all. I got some of it, too.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

She signed the divorce today. It had sat around for a good many months, unsigned. I got 90% of everything. Then when she called me today she talked about us getting remarried in a month. 

She was unhappy the AP wrote her a long love letter, wanting marriage and children. He took her to a therapist, strange. In the office, my ex-wife told him no way, no marriage and no children. He was hurt and angry. I think, the divorce, which he wanted, may end the affair. And my leaving may have forced her to think hard. He is a control freak. 

She asked me to move back in with her in a few weeks into our old place. But, she stays with him now. She says not because she choose him, because she had no place else to go after I insisted she quit her job and we leave. She wanted badly to keep the job for the pension. She was one day from being fired for missing work at my insistence.

She says she will move back into our old place and live there alone at the therapist's urging to think about herself. I am dubious of this request of hers for me to stay away for a few weeks. None the less, we set an approximate date for my return. She further said she would not take, although he had offered, financial help from him. 

Her plan as she described was to separate again from him and try to be friends. She doubted this would work as she had tried before and he could not accept this. As for us, she sincerely talked about what was wrong in our marriage and how I can improve it. The one thing she liked about him. 

I think why not see. Go back for a bit. The divorce is done. I am skeptical. Nothing in the call was suggestive of her remaining with him more than her keeping a positive opinion of him as a person. She said he was not such a bad person as I had said he was. 

Amy comments on this mess?


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Marc878,

Dude I am faced with two futures. The one I planned with her. We worked for this together. Or a very different alternative living in another country married to a younger woman. 

So, it is not so easy to walk. 

Andy


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

One last strange request from her. She asked if I wanted to meet him. She said he wanted to meet me before. I said yes. She got surprised. I find this so strange. But, I think it fits into her friends idea as "we would be friends". 

Anyone encounter this???


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

I would NOT get back with her if I were you.

It sounds like she doesn't want to be with you because you are the perfect match for her, her ideal husband. Instead, she wants to be with you because the plan with the controlling Affair Partner is not working out. You'd be "Plan B". 

I'd never want to be "Plan B". If I'm not the first choice, then forget it. Because when a better "Plan A" comes around again with a new potential Affair Partner, you'd be right back in another mess.

There are 7 1/2 billion people on this planet. There's bound to be a better woman than this for you. Look harder.


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## ReturntoZero (Aug 31, 2015)

Earth to Andy,

Take her back and expect more of the same.

I do have a friend who took back his cheating ex, but didn't marry her again.

That seems to have worked out.

If you really think you can handle being with her, do it while you're not married to her.

If she re-builds something with you over the years, you may wish to re-consider.... but I wouldn't until you're well into your mid to late 50's.

Then the danger is largely past.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

You will always be "Plan B". If you can suck your pride down like a baby on a bottle then go for it. She will find another "Plan A" somewhere down the line. You can count on it.

I'm not jaded from divorce and cheating like many here...I'm 21 years happy married. My advice comes from the perspective of your post reflecting the fact that your

a run away type of guy. Respect comes from men that stand up and believe in what they want ..... and aren't scared to confront things that oppose it. Passive is not

attractive or demanding of respect .....as you say "she can have him."...that's not gonna work. People always....and I do mean always...fail to take responsibility for

their part of the problem. What your wife did was wrong..that is for sure. Your always gonna be "Plan B" guy with the way your handling. Find yourself a weak and needy

woman. Your gonna have a lot less problems that way.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Mr.Married said:


> You will always be "Plan B". If you can suck your pride down like a baby on a bottle then go for it. She will find another "Plan A" somewhere down the line. You can count on it.
> 
> I'm not jaded from divorce and cheating like many here...I'm 21 years happy married. My advice comes from the perspective of your post reflecting the fact that your
> 
> ...


Mr. Marriage,

Not true. We talk a lot about what caused her to have the affair. What was missing in our relationship. And after many calls we may be getting back together. 

Three points.

Point one. She was happy with me. I was her whole world for 14 years. Then, I became unhappy. Unable to make me happy, she too, became sad. This went on for some long time, until she thought to find another who could be happy and make her happy. 

Point two, What came out was her desire to not hurt me at any cost to herself. If she wanted to do something but I suggested I did not like it, she would not do it. Or even if I spoke unfavorably of it. This had to stop. I need to be supportive. 

Point three, My sex on demand attitude put her in a position of feeling obligated to have sex with me not for mutual enjoyment, but for my sole enjoyment. This has to stop. I need to be romantic. 

It is so rocky now I cannot tell if it will work. We are divorced. But, she wants to be with me. And talks happily about getting married again. She ended her relationship with the affair partner. 

Point one is the reason for the affair. Points two and three came up because of the affair.

My need to reduce my insecurity may conflict with her need to heal. She says she needs to be alone, but I say I need to be with her to heal my insecurity. Which brings up Point two. How such a mess came to be after 20 years is unbelievable. I blame the affair partner. To have the affair he had to manipulate the worst parts of her character and our relationship bringing them to the surface.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Also I have noticed she has started to not trust me. This suggests she is not being trustworthy herself. It is a HUGE mess. What was once a happy relationship. 

To this point, when she thinks she upsets me, she checks up on me to see or know what I am doing. To imply I would at slight insult to my ego look elsewhere.

I am not stupid or weak. One gets entangled in this because of the extent of the relationship. If she were my girlfriend I would leave at will.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

I would rather amputate my arm than move back in with someone toxic like your wife.

Admit you made a mistake in believing in her, and move on.

And more importantly, figure out why you don't love yourself enough to insist on refusing to tolerate the intolerable.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*My God, man! She's doing you an absolute favor! The only thing that she could even conceivably begin to want you for is strictly for her OM's apparent ménage-a-trois tendencies!

Get her the hell out of Dodge while the getting is good! She's proven herself more than untrustworthy and definitely not marriage material!

The last and most endearing vision of her should be in your rear-view mirror!*


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

It's worse than I thought ..... Your also co-dependent in a bad way.

If I were in your shoes I would go get some individual counseling.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Better for you to move on.


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

Why does she need to be married again for? She knows she does not do well in marriage.

Keeping dating and never marry her again. She has you so wrapped up that you are willing to blame everyone but her for the affairs.

If you keep dating it will ve easier to move on when she needs to leave again. 

Then you can wait until she returns and start up again.


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## dadstartingover (Oct 23, 2015)

Your self-loathing is palpable. 

Be a man. Pretend she is dead. Enjoy life.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

You are actually thinking of getting back with her? Are you F*CKING kidding me?

"She asked me to move back in with her in a few weeks into our old place. *But, she stays with him now. She says not because she choose him, because she had no place else to go after *I insisted she quit her job and we leave. She wanted badly to keep the job for the pension. She was one day from being fired for missing work at my insistence.

*She says she will move back into our old place and live there alone *at the therapist's urging to think about herself. I am dubious of this request of hers for me to stay away for a few weeks.

SO, she HAS to stay with HIM now since she has no place else to go, yet you say she will move back to your old place alone? Do you NOT see the contradiction there?

Her plan as she described was to separate again from *him and try to be friends*.
She had a affair and yet she wants to REMAIN friends with him (and from below, wants YOU to be friends with him? SERIOUSLY, are you kidding? IF she wants you she should NEVER talk with him again or see him or have ANY contact with him EVER.
As for us, she sincerely talked about what was wrong in our marriage and *how I can improve it *. 
So, YOU are the reason your marriage is in the tank and caused HER to have sex with someone else? Have you ever heard of blameshifting? 

She asked if I wanted to meet him. She said he wanted to meet me before. I said yes. She got surprised. I find this so strange. But, *I think it fits into her friends idea as "we would be friends". 
Again, WHAT? YOU should be all friends together? Come on man, you cant possibly want this.
*What came out was her desire to *not hurt me at any cost to herself. 
* EXCEPT for the hurt caused by her banging someone else.

You got your divorce, you are free. WHY would you ever want back into this awful relationship....


Also I have noticed she has started to not trust me.
"

Again, you are free -- she doesn't trust YOU because SHE cheated?? 
DO you self a favor and give her the boot.....


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Man it appears the OP can express the reasons why there are all these things that need excused. But doesn't understands that those reasons, themselves, open a whole different level of unrecognized issues in his world. Issues that actually exist in reality.


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## Idyit (Mar 5, 2013)

https://giphy.com/gifs/brid-1hMhlrWWfXU77iYnBB


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

LostAndy said:


> Mr. Marriage,
> 
> Not true. We talk a lot about what caused her to have the affair. What was missing in our relationship. And after many calls we may be getting back together.
> 
> ...


Only one point to make

Apply some f....ucking common sence

Fix yourself and let go of this woman

Clear and Present Detachment

55


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## kekkek (Apr 5, 2018)

OP's emotions and reactions seem to come from another planet, and are quite incomprehensible to me. Obviously he shouldn't get back together with a toxic cheater who still wants to pal around with the AP. But given that he does, the only rationale that I could understand for that would be that he loves her with some kind of reckless passion. Instead, he is detached and sullen. Describes the relationship in seemingly rational checklist type terms, except his thinking is illogical and irrational. Suffering from depression, perhaps? Sorry.


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## Kamstel (Apr 25, 2018)

This is by far the most screwed up thing I have ever read!!!!


What the hell are you thinking??? Did you enjoy the feeling of her repeatedly stabbing you in the back and forcing you through hell???

She signed the divorce papers. Go find a good woman that will be 100% committed to you, and can keep her legs together around other men

This one isn’t even a close call


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

This sadly sounds a lot like my situation in terms of personalities, character traits, etc.

Andy, you have to disengage from her, you have to get angry and you have to get motivated. Have a f'n plan. What do you want out of life? It took me almost a year but I have finally found my footing. I know I have many roller coasters ahead but my foundation is being laid. I can see the light creeping through now. I to, dealt with one of the most manipulative people on the planet, someone that does it with a smile on their face and like it's 100% the truth in their eyes. That's hard to go up against and feel confident in yourself but it's possible. 

It's time to find a chip on your shoulder, something that fuels your fire. It can be anger to start, let the anger flow man. You don't have to be outwardly angry at her, in fact you don't, you don't even want to converse with her or answer her, you gotta stop that man. Channel the anger and make a battle plan. Workouts, home projects, ventures, trips. I can't remember, do you have kids?

In these cases, it's not petty to go out and prove to you and to the world what a fool she was. I doubt she will ever realize that but you can use it as a foundation of motivation and soon, you won't even care about what she may think or what she thought anymore. You will shed that motivation and the motivation you get in the future will be based off of the results you have accomplished. Hopefully that makes sense. What i'm saying is you need to channel something to get you started and it may even be something like "i'll show her" but that's not sustainable but if that's what you need to get you started, go with it. 

My soon to be ex has been packing up her stuff and buying furniture for the new house over the last few weeks. She has done some cold blooded things with our memories from the last 18 years, like it meant nothing but I've started to become numb to it, I even have chuckled a few times. Once you being the rebound, the setbacks will be short term. I was on a walk with my daughter last night and as we approached our house, I felt a moment of pride that I'm going to be able to keep this house, what they know as home. Gone is what I thought my hopes and dreams were of happily ever after but I saw the new opportunities and the new hopes, the glimpses of them, the fact that I gave this every thing I had and she will leave and I will have no doubts that I tried everything to make it work and I am the one that gets to hold my head high for staying true to what I believed in, what I valued, integrity, etc.

Not sure what the right combo of words are to get through to you but I think we have a lot in common. Once you stop listening to what she has to say, you will start to regain control of yourself. Stop listening the false narrative that she has made up, that she continues to try and justify. It's only going to bring you down to her level. 

LOW HANGING FRUIT beginning - do you normally workout, etc? I struggled in this area to give me motivation because I already pretty much workout everyday but I found new goals. I'm hoping to be a brick by the end of the summer. It's fun to see the small progress. I used to focus on staying lean and agile for sports but I want to build up noticeable muscle, I'm using the fake inspiration that I'm going to meet up with OM and make him buy a replacement set of fake white teeth. I doubt it will ever happen but when I hit the punching bag, it gives me that extra force to drive into the bag


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

stillfightingforus said:


> This sadly sounds a lot like my situation in terms of personalities, character traits, etc.
> 
> Andy, you have to disengage from her, you have to get angry and you have to get motivated. Have a f'n plan. What do you want out of life? It took me almost a year but I have finally found my footing. I know I have many roller coasters ahead but my foundation is being laid. I can see the light creeping through now. I to, dealt with one of the most manipulative people on the planet, someone that does it with a smile on their face and like it's 100% the truth in their eyes. That's hard to go up against and feel confident in yourself but it's possible.
> 
> ...


This is really good advice OP. This man has come a long way and so will you. 

But you have to start thinking like this...


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

All,

Seems going is the best recommendation. Last week, with the help of a female relative of mine, she ended the relationship entirely. She said it was not possible to be friends with him. She told me how she ended it. She felt guilt towards him.

Now, we are together. She is happy to be with me. I can see her love conflict is gone. Regarding the affair relationship she says she feels relief it is over and does not want to remember it. She wants to forget it happened. She wishes it never happened.

We are divorced. She wears our wedding ring. And I am more considerate of issues that before I never gave consideration to. The reasons that encouraged her to look elsewhere for happiness.

Can I say how this will go, no I cannot. The affair was a romantic affair, the worst kind. Where he was rescuing her, the damsel, from our marriage. My finally leaving, the divorce and this guy revealing his true intentions, marriage and children and a lifetime together, likely caused her to come out of the fantasy.

I am cautious, very cautious. And I have taken a wait and see attitude. If she can get herself over this, we are really good. Because it won't likely happen again.

We are both attractive. I always find attractive partners. Many, if not all, of my girlfriends have quietly cheated. Attractive people get offers. To me, her ability to end this affair is very meaningful and positive for a future together.

We don't own people.

She felt powerless towards me. How this came to be, I don't know. Now, I back off and let her make decisions. I am more asking than telling. She was very immature when I met her and I became something of a parent figure and not a relationship equal or partner.


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

LostAndy said:


> All,
> 
> Seems going is the best recommendation. Last week, with the help of a female relative of mine, she ended the relationship entirely. She said it was not possible to be friends with him. She told me how she ended it. She felt guilt towards him.
> 
> ...


I understand that you are sincere about what you say. So understand that I am truly being sincere when I tell you this: 

You my friend are delusional, in just about every way. While I hope and wish that you are correct in your dreams for your future, I honestly believe that you are going to get so hurt in the long run. 

I feel sorry for you, I wish there was something that "we" could do to help you, but there is not. 

Honestly, if you are in therapy, then you need to get a new therapist. If you are not in therapy, you really need to get some help. 

I hope that what I predict for your future is completely wrong and you live happily ever after. 

But I actually believe that this will end horribly. 

Only time will tell, I wish you luck...


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## Tron (Jan 31, 2013)

LostAndy said:


> All,
> 
> Seems going is the best recommendation. Last week, with the help of a female relative of mine, she ended the relationship entirely. She said it was not possible to be friends with him. She told me how she ended it. She felt guilt towards him.
> 
> ...












Going WAS the BEST recommendation...

So why are you back together again? 

Because she is attractive?

Because this she-leopard can change her spots?

Because she is now marriage material?

BluesPower said it as succinctly as can be said...you are most definitely delusional.

Good luck brah!


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Sorry Andy but you are now the definition of a cuckold spouse. I hope someday you grow some balls but for now you are whipped.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

LostAndy said:


> All,
> 
> Seems going is the best recommendation. Last week, with the help of a female relative of mine, she ended the relationship entirely. She said it was not possible to be friends with him. She told me how she ended it. She felt guilt towards him.
> 
> ...


Andy take this as gospel.You are not attractive.
You admit almost every girlfriend you have ever had is attractive and cheated on you.
You are the dumb schmuck who takes these girls out and then they go home with someone else.They tell you how wonderful you are and you believe them.You are not mr right,you are mr handy.You will do until someone better comes along.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

LostAndy said:


> Mr. Marriage,
> 
> Not true. We talk a lot about what caused her to have the affair. What was missing in our relationship. And after many calls we may be getting back together.
> 
> ...



Well, that is totally F-ed up. You went through a bad spell, and she didn't get her needs met in the relationship. So...She went with someone else. She did the dirty, not you. Then you get blame shifted with the demand for sex thing...But here is the kicker, she is screwing another man! WTF? Really? Then you go all beta and "try to work things out." All she saw of that was you were the mr. money bags and security, and the OM was the large phallus for her "other" needs.

You do NOT need her in your life. You need to get a life and find a suitable partner that you can communicate and honor each other. The ex is tainted goods and 20 years is enough of a cross to bear my friend.

And like I learned from all my friends here and other sites....The reasons for her affair is solely hers. Her bad. You cannot take that with you. You will never heal.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

All,

You were right. After little more than two weeks she went back to the guy. I am getting numb to this. But, I still feel it difficult to sleep alone at night. She seems interested in a lot of men. She talked about us together forever then an hour later she left. She did a no come home from work. Called me later and said we had to talk. 

Well, I have to accept she is no longer the person I loved and married years ago. That is true. I can see it. Just sleeping alone is difficult and starting over seems scary. I am a bit of a coward these days and I felt safe with my ex wife. I am older and less interested in change. That guy he will suffer. I think she was meeting up with other guys in our neighborhood. She is using him to get rid of me. To then get rid of him. She remarked many times she will only be happy alone. 

I did along the way meet a girl, a younger and prettier girl. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. That was a welcome relief this time around. Instead, I focused on the new girl. But, sleeping seems hard now. But, I can feel some joy and refuge in the new relationship. 

Oh well, this really was the end.

Andy


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## kekkek (Apr 5, 2018)

LostAndy said:


> All,
> 
> You were right. After little more than two weeks she went back to the guy. I am getting numb to this. But, I still feel it difficult to sleep alone at night. She seems interested in a lot of men. She talked about us together forever then an hour later she left. She did a no come home from work. Called me later and said we had to talk.
> 
> ...


If I am understanding this correctly, which is difficult because your use of tenses and presentation is quite unclear, it sounds like you have asked someone else to marry you just in the last week or so? That is seriously messed up. You act and write like someone who has serious issues to work through, and I think you should do that before getting into any kind of relationship, let alone marriage.


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

kekkek said:


> If I am understanding this correctly, which is difficult because your use of tenses and presentation is quite unclear, it sounds like you have asked someone else to marry you just in the last week or so? That is seriously messed up. You act and write like someone who has serious issues to work through, and I think you should do that before getting into any kind of relationship, let alone marriage.


Yes, Andy, please clarify that remark. 

Getting into a new relationship would be helpful at someone point but everything you just wrote means you NEED to find happiness in yourself before you get serious in a relationship or the pattern will continue and the baggage will be brought into the relationship and dumped on the next girl's porch.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Stay away from relationships until you have healed from your marriage. That won't be quick or easy but you need to know what a healthy relationship looks like. Right now you don't.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

All,

Not getting married anytime soon. That was the first girl I met. Finding others now and planning a trip. What I have learned. A marriage is over once a woman has sex with another man, unless you catch it early. It is definitely over once she says "I love you" to him. The blame shifting, and it will always be your fault, never ends. And every issue with you is a reason to leave for him. 

If they loved you, they would stay and do whatever to make it work no matter how difficult, and take everything they have to take, to get back together. We had six go rounds, she comes back to me, then goes back to him, six. When the solution was easy. She held tightly to the one thing that kept us from leaving the area, her job. She did it because she wanted to be with him.

The pain is the investment. Marriage, different than dating, makes each invest in the other because it solidifies the commitment as a lifetime commitment. What is good for one becomes good for both. This is the great pain at divorce people often feel. The selfless effort seems for naught and half or all of the future seems taken. 

I have no guilt. I did and took all I could to make it work. When misfortune hits her she cannot say I walked. Me, I am lining up young girls, hot girls, to have fun and sex with. I will count my fortune, grow my fortune, work out, and enjoy a better life in a better place. I wanted this before the divorce but honored my commitment.

She left a wealthy educated, attractive, healthy, intelligent man for a uneducated guy who resembles a troll; who had rickets in childhood; that does manual labor; smokes and has near black skin from working in the Sun; has a small penis-- I saw pictures of it. He is two thirds torso, one third curved, boney legs. And he is intensely jealous. His face, well, it's ugly like a troll, long and thin, with deep eyes under a heavy forehead and a big nose. The top of his head is flat. His lips resembled an butthole, really, unnatural looking. Possibly the grossest feature is his mouth. 

But, the surprise is on him. She has sex with men at work. And she left me not to be with him, but to live alone and have many sex partners. She wants to play. He is the tool to get me out. She left everything in our place to come back to it after I leave. She commented she will do better than him to me. He is just the first to come along wanting commitment. She cannot have children. So, life is just sex for her. She admits to me she will likely die alone and is okay with that.

It was years of me having multiple orgasms and her having sometimes one that likely got her thinking. Now, she showed me she can have eight or ten now. She has gone bad. 

So it ends,

Andy


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## kekkek (Apr 5, 2018)

LostAndy said:


> All,
> 
> Not getting married anytime soon. That was the first girl I met. Finding others now and planning a trip. What I have learned. A marriage is over once a woman has sex with another man, unless you catch it early. It is definitely over once she says "I love you" to him. The blame shifting, and it will always be your fault, never ends. And every issue with you is a reason to leave for him.
> 
> ...


Andy, I get that you are upset at this stage. But this post reflects poorly on you. You can move on with your life without trashing those other parties who are actually no longer a part of your life. Just forget about them and move on. Yes, we all agree they are worthless trash, but the less you concern yourself with that, the healthier you will be in the long run.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

All,

The crazy woman keeps finding reasons to reach out to me. I want to tell her #$% off. She can pay the rent. I can drive her car. She asked me not to delete the 15000 pictures we have. Crazy. What does she think? It is over. The pictures are garbage. I want her to remove pictures from our time together from her Facebook.

Replace the good stuff with images of her life now. Sitting in a backyard next to a drinking and smoking troll. Really, with my money we traveled the world. She will never do any of that again. Nope, just vibrators and anal plugs for her. That's his repertoire. I know. I did it to her too after I found out. I got my turn.

It is about me now. This is ridiculous her reaching out to me. What do I care if she keeps the pictures. She will never be again that sweet girl I loves and had so many great years with. I know that now. I am even planning to ghost her. 

I am off soon to travel Asia, new adventures.

Andy


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

LostAndy said:


> She signed the divorce today. It had sat around for a good many months, unsigned. I got 90% of everything. Then when she called me today she talked about us getting remarried in a month.
> 
> She was unhappy the AP wrote her a long love letter, wanting marriage and children. He took her to a therapist, strange. In the office, my ex-wife told him no way, no marriage and no children. He was hurt and angry. I think, the divorce, which he wanted, may end the affair. And my leaving may have forced her to think hard. He is a control freak.
> 
> ...


What possible future can you see this crazy mess up person. Stop living in the past, the past is over your wife is not worth the effort. Move on.

I hoped you talked about how she can improve your marriage by not ****ing other guys. Jezse

You may be the most codependent person who ever posted on here. Go get help, you need it.


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Kekek,

Just getting my mind around it enough so to be disgusted by it. I fancied he was attractive, but he is truly revolting. Remember, I was in it getting my turn at the new her. I did things to her too I would never had done to the girl I fell in love with. People here were saying I am cuckold. But no, I got more than him over the past months. 

She spent most of her time with me. And I did whatever and made her do whatever, and she did it. So, I missed out on nothing and got a plateful of the new her on my way out the door. 

I will get a new sweet beauty to replace her. And take all those pictures again with the new beauty. 

Cheers,

Andy


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

stillfightingforus said:


> This sadly sounds a lot like my situation in terms of personalities, character traits, etc.
> 
> Andy, you have to disengage from her, you have to get angry and you have to get motivated. Have a f'n plan. What do you want out of life? It took me almost a year but I have finally found my footing. I know I have many roller coasters ahead but my foundation is being laid. I can see the light creeping through now. I to, dealt with one of the most manipulative people on the planet, someone that does it with a smile on their face and like it's 100% the truth in their eyes. That's hard to go up against and feel confident in yourself but it's possible.
> 
> ...


And you may be the second. QUIT ROMANTICIZING YOUR AWFUL WIFE!!! She sucked. If you could ever fix yourself and find a good one you are going to be embarrassed how high of a pedestal you put this duplicitous women on. The worse thing is there are actually women out there who are worry but you spend all you emotional energy on someone who is SO not worth it!!:FIREdevil:

I have been posting this same thing at you for a year!! A YEAR!!


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

Sokillme,

It is over. I care about me now. She can do what she wants. My life is and has been awesome up until I started supporting her low pay job so she could feel she had a career. That was my caring. 

Still my life is awesome. I got it all. 

Andy


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## LostAndy (Mar 9, 2018)

All,

Plus I shagged her from 18 till a few days ago. I got the good one and the bad one. So, there is no jealousy more than him wearing my oldest pair of underwear. The ones with holes and bacon stains. 

He gets my leftovers. I got the steak. 

Andy


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Something very odd here.

One Andy was kind and very passive, would not rumble.
The second Andy was randy, was rough and tumble.

Will the true Andy please stand up.

Is there a real Andy?

I have my doubts.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

kekkek said:


> Andy, I get that you are upset at this stage. But this post reflects poorly on you. You can move on with your life without trashing those other parties who are actually no longer a part of your life. Just forget about them and move on. Yes, we all agree they are worthless trash, but the less you concern yourself with that, the healthier you will be in the long run.


If this is a true story (I have my doubts) and the dude cheated with his wife they are garbage. He should say so. Stop being so nice, guys like this one need to learn how to fight back some times. The reason why it happens in the first place is because they are always passively taking the high road.


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## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

LostAndy said:


> All,
> 
> Plus I shagged her from 18 till a few days ago. I got the good one and the bad one. So, there is no jealousy more than him wearing my oldest pair of underwear. The ones with holes and bacon stains.
> 
> ...


1. Are you from Czechslovakia?

2. What have you been smoking?

3. Have you been checked for STDs yet? I wouldn't be surprised if you have rotyourcockoff disease.

4. Do you usually eat bacon in your underwear?

5. You sound like a wild and crazy guy!

6. Do you wear pants with bulges and date large breasted American foxes:scratchhead:


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

You are INSANE to be asking some woman to marry you! Are you out of your mind?? You are not going to be any good to ANY woman right now, don't make some woman pay for your ex's mistakes!


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