# Married 2 years and unhappy



## matt2 (Nov 27, 2011)

I need advise on what to do or what to not do.
I am 26, married for 2 years now. I am in a sticky situation right now with my relationship. I feel like all the passion has died, I feel like I just dont love her as much as I used to. There are several reasons, but the main is the sex. I feel like for a young couple we should be having more sex than 1-2 times a month. I try to bring it up that I am upset but to her its not a problem, or she just dosnt want to talk about it. And its not so much the lack as it is the quality. She never initiates it, Im always begging. Never wants to try anything new. Its usually in the same position with minimal forplay ( and its not a hygienic thing, were both clean and fit) Half the time shell watch tv. I try to romance her but shes always tired from work. I give her massages whenever she asks. I feel like all she does is take take take! I just cant deal with it anymore. 
The big thing that made me contemplate this whole thing, is because I started talking to another woman (she dosnt know) and I felt like it was love at first sight all over again. I look at this woman like no one I have ever looked at before. We have the same interest. We have so much in common its ridiculous. She knows I am married, and the situation I am in. We have made out a few times but nothing real serious yet. But honestly even if I did mess around with her, I wouldnt feel slightly guilty. Almost like I feel like my wife deserves me being unfaithful. Now I know I cant have both. But I was sitting in the bath tub just now thinking. If I stay...Do I really want to look back at this moment in 20 years from now and imagine what if? Or do I try to save the marriage and try to let her know how I really feel. And with other peoples experience will that even work? I want the marriage to work but dont want to have to MAKE it work. I do love her, and it would kill me to break her heart. But I feel like something should be done sooner than later. But what.....please respond, I am desperate for answers!
I want to sit down with her and express myself to her, but I dont know how the conversation should go. What should I tell her.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

No offense... But any relationship you're in will require work from time to time. So my thought is to try to make your marriage work before giving up on it.

If you decide you don't want to try to make it work, your wife does NOT deserve you cheating on her. And speaking as someone who cheated on his wife, YOU do not deserve you cheating on her. You're likely to feel guilty and regretful the rest of your life. you've already gone much farther than you should have, and you should cut that other woman out of your life.

And whatever you decide to do, do not simply sweep it under the rug and ignore the issues. Or you'll end up 43 years old, and in the same boat. Except with less of your future to go, and kids and mortgages and whatever else to complicate things. This is also from personal experience.

Bring it up like you have. But this time, stick to your guns. You either need to talk it through together, or get a counselor involved. Listen to her, and don't get defensive if she opens up. Read up about "manning up" in the men's forum. There's a number of guys that have turned things around in their relationships.

C
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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Sttop cheating. Either work on your marriage or get a divorce.
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