# is this normal?



## faithfulwife85 (Jul 4, 2011)

Why do men find a need to go out with out their wives to a club with their best friends? I do other things with my girl friends like dinner, movies, sex toy parties,beach, wine tasting, and etc... Why can't he just enjoy hanging his friends at home or at least not go every single weekend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DrivingMeNuts (Oct 8, 2011)

faithfulwife85 said:


> Why do men find a need to go out with out their wives to a club with their best friends? I do other things with my girl friends like dinner, movies, sex toy parties,beach, wine tasting, and etc... Why can't he just enjoy hanging his friends at home or at least not go every single weekend.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why do (some) women find a need to go out with out their husbands to a club with their best friends, dress super sexy and say its "just because they want to dance" ?

Whatever happened to double dates, going clubbing as a couple, dinner invites and mutual friends...

But thats besides the point and im not trying to get off topic, truth is, a real man who truely loves hes wife and is completely 100% faithful to her will never put her in a situation where she doubts hes faithfulness, neither will he ever put him self in a situation where he is hit on or hits on another woman.

I my self, never pay attention to other women and make sure everyone knows that i am a one woman man, i don't go clubbing unless im taking my wife, i organize dates and double dates with out mutual friends and a lot of other events, cooking dinner, breakfast abroad, hiking etc... i also like to have nearly no girl friends, just cause its simpler that way, guys hang with guys and girls hang with girl.

BUT, if my wife were to go out clubbing with her friends, all dressed up, obviously attention seeking and say "its just a girls night, just to dance" just like a guy says "the guys just wana have a guys night out, have some beers" then i would also do the same.


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## Dax (Jun 11, 2011)

A wife that goes out often to clubs or bars without her husband will sooner or later cheat because it is ****tish behavior. There's nothing wrong with taking your husband along, and it will better your relationship.


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## smartymatt (Oct 10, 2011)

i think it's important for people in a relationship to also have separate lives -- and not always be together. time alone (or with friends) and space to breathe can make a big positive difference. 

... of course, time away with others also makes you miss one another. right?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

seems like you do alot of things away from your husband. maybe he misses you. i agree, some time apart pursuing hobbies or fun with friends is a good thing, but maybe in his eyes you take that farther than he is comfortable with. everyone has different thresholds for it. secondly, the nature of your away time seems to be pointed towards things that would make me uncomfortable, bars-sex toy parties-beach where young studs hang out. he may be feeling a bit threatened.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

Just as an aside, okie....

Since, as one of my wife's ads says, she "does _those_ kinds of parties," most sex toy parties are, as a rule established by the companies, women-only. In some states, they can't even conduct them if men and/or children on on the premises. Here in Texas, for example, if my wife, as a rep of the company, discusses/sells the products to a man, it's considered solicitation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We don't club. We grew up.

lol My husband goes racing or works on cars with the guys.

My friends and I have wine night and chew the shet.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Men go out clubbing with their pals for the same reasons women go out clubbing with their pals: To connect with the opposite sex. MINIMUM, flirtng, dancing, partying with women you will never hear about. You see girls dancing together, but not men. So he's either a wall flower all night at a place that people hook up for sex or...

Maybe he's been partying with one hot girl all night, they really made a connection, slow dance, she reaches up for a kiss...

And that's the GOOD news. It could be out to the car for a quick joint and a little making out. Handjob...

Wait. Out to the CAR for that? They can do all of that right there in the club. And they do. I've researched this a little. 

There is nor room for clubbing in a commited relationship. Period. Does your hubby tell you about all of the girls he connects with? Some women can and do just go to dance. Straight men do not.

Oh, wait. Are you thinking he's gay? That could be it.

Guys can go out to places just to sit around and shoot the s.h.i.t. I do it all the time. Never even speak to a girl. Why else would a guy go to a club?

Sorry. I was all over the place there. But you get my point.

I think.

Wait. EVERY WEEKEND? Does he tell you about all of the girls he parties with? I doubt it. There's NO WAY you'd be cool with that. I don't think anyhow.


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## Mindful Coach (Sep 15, 2011)

Every weekend seems extreme. He's either very immature and still pretending he's single, or he has a drinking problem. Not sure which of those is correct. Have you asked him to cut back?


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

faithfulwife85 said:


> this morning i found my husband in the bathroom masturbating to pictures of my bisexual friend on his blackberry. (she posts very provacative and many sexy photos of herself) As soon i walked up to him and caught him. He seemed to be caught very off guard and jumped and felt like he was doing some thing "wrong" and placed the phone behind his back. I asked him what he was hiding and whats going on?... he said he was masturbating to my friend and her gay friends.
> 
> i feel hurt by this because, i feel like why would he masturbate to other women that he knows ...?


From another thread. This posted in July 2011. Shaky boundry. Close to home.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

faithfulwife85 said:


> My husband is on his phone or his lap top on a daily basis looking and searching for girls to look at.
> 
> I know this may sound bad but I check his computer history daily and he constantly search's for beautiful women to through facebook daily. He also searches bisexual and lesbian women. but does not contact them.
> 
> Should I be concerned?


And this.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Just out of curiosity, what does he says he does when at the clubs all night?


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

i think some of us are misunderstanding the original post, maybe its me. i was reading it as the wife (OP) was wanting more alone time with her friends without hubs hanging around, i think i misread it, i apologize


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

okeydokie said:


> i think some of us are misunderstanding the original post, maybe its me. i was reading it as the wife (OP) was wanting more alone time with her friends without hubs hanging around, i think i misread it, i apologize


No, I think she's finally on to his skanking around at the meat markets every weekend.


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## Mindful Coach (Sep 15, 2011)

So, this man is searching the internet for women, going out with his friends every weekend and there is a question about whether or not to be concerned? It's not a question. That is not how a good husband conducts himself.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

There's only one reason why people go to clubs: To hook up.

Argue all you want, but it's true.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I feel , except for the rarer occasions, bachelor parties, an occasional stop at the bar after work cause a friend asked, married men & women should do just about all things together .

My husband even tagged along with me to a "candle party" last week, it was more for convenience as we had to make another stop 1st somewhere together. But he didn't mind. He knows all those ladies, they like seeing him walk through the door, he gets all the attention then. 

And when he has his guy friends come over & they work on the vehicles, I go out there & hang right along with them. We are always together. 

It would never sit well with me if he wanted to hang with the boys all the time and he wouldn't like it if I wanted to go off by myself dancing with friends, he would be jealous of "my time". 

I think that is pretty healthy. BUt how do you stop your partner's behavior, that is the question. I think some men are not ready for marriage, they are too embedded in their single lifestyle, these are his habits, his enjoyments. I bet he was this way before marriage too- so you had a taste of it. 

These things usually don't automatically change after the wedding and IF they DID change suddenly (he was Mr Devoted only at your side before ) .......something needs worked on within the marraige. Any ideas? More arguing than normal ,etc.


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## kelevra (May 19, 2011)

that_girl said:


> We don't club. We grew up.
> 
> lol My husband goes racing or works on cars with the guys.
> 
> My friends and I have wine night and chew the shet.


:iagree:


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## Smiley90 (Sep 13, 2011)

Faithfulwife85, I think you have some legitimate concerns. There's no way in hell I would put up with ANY of that. I agree with SimplyAmorous, when you get married, it's no longer "girl time" or "guy time" it's "us time". My husband goes out hunting, fishing, riding 4-wheelers, to the local bar for a burger and a beer by himself every once in a while and I'm totally okay with that. 95% of the time we are together because we share a lot of the same hobbies. I occasionally get the whole, "OMG, I wouldn't have someone under me 24/7, Y'all really need alone time sometimes, and blah blah blah." I would rather be with my husband sitting at home than at a club with my girlfriends. As long as my H keeps asking me to tag alone, I'm game & vice versa. (We actually went to the strip club together for my 21st birthday, it was the 1st time going to a strip club for the both of us & I actually had more fun than my husband but that's only because I was drunk and my friends were there. I could have easily had just as much fun at my house doing the same thing) There's no excuse for your husband to go clubbing w/o you, especially not every weekend. Referring back to what that_girl said, Clubs are trouble for a married couple. People only go to clubs for few select reasons & it's not to hang out with the guys. If that's the case why don't he go to a football game, or have the guys come over for a cookout. I would definitely have to put my foot down on this one, especially after the whole bi-friend pic. deal. Why is he even looking at other woman? If he's doing this in your house, while you're home then I'm pretty sure he'd do it when you're no where around & there's no chance of getting caught!...Have you considered just "popping" up at the same club he's at with some of your girlfriends just to see what's going on?


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Smiley90 said:


> Have you considered just "popping" up at the same club he's at with some of your girlfriends just to see what's going on?


I HIGHLY reccomend this. I wish I'd done it during my wife's little clubbing spree. Better yet, get someone he doesn't know at all, or at least not know too well who can blend into the background and observe. I GUARANTEE you will get an education.


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## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

Smiley90 said:


> (We actually went to the strip club together for my 21st birthday, it was the 1st time going to a strip club for the both of us...


First time for YOU maybe...


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## Smiley90 (Sep 13, 2011)

MrK said:


> First time for YOU maybe...


haha I really think it was his first time. He's only 23 and we've been together since he was 19. I wouldn't care if he had...hell I wanted to see what it was all about! It was actually my idea to go, kind of spur of the moment thing & he was kinda iffy at first & I talked him into going...Soon as we walked in there was a stripper w/ nothing on but heels so he leaned over to me & whispered, "omg mica, there's a fully naked woman." like he was shocked...so I asked, "well did you expect to see a naked man?" My H is pretty blunt about stuff, so I tend not to ask stuff unless I'm ready for the truth....

-also...we live in a town with 1 stop light, & a population of about 300, the closest strip club is 100miles away at the beach... & it wasn't even a good one


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## Smiley90 (Sep 13, 2011)

Meg said:


> Men were MADE to look at women, so you'd better swim with the sharks. Give him a REASON to stay home, or take you with him.




:rofl: :iagree:


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Meg said:


> Doesn't look like the OP EVER responded to any of the questions or advice given in this thread. All she did was throw out the question:
> 
> 
> 
> *Maybe it's because your boring and whiny. Men were MADE to look at women, so you'd better swim with the sharks. Give him a REASON to stay home, or take you with him*.


Why do you assume that it is because she is "boring and whiny"? :scratchhead:She could have simply read the responses and tried whatever made sense to her. 

I just don't understand why you feel the OP is to blame.


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