# How do I delete my profile?



## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

Does anyone know how to delete a profile? 

TAM has been interesting but its time for me to let go. Unfortunately being on here can give me triggers. Some of the posts feed on my anger and paranoia so its better if I just delete my profile.

I also spend waaaay too much time on here!


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)




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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Perhaps you should just take a break..you really do have a lot to contribute here...


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## tulsy (Nov 30, 2012)

hibiscus said:


> Does anyone know how to delete a profile?
> 
> TAM has been interesting but its time for me to let go. Unfortunately being on here can give me triggers. Some of the posts feed on my anger and paranoia so its better if I just delete my profile.
> 
> I also spend waaaay too much time on here!


Deleting your profile won't make TAM go away, so why not just work on self control...stop coming here, stop posting here, get new hobbies, etc.


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## BruisedGirl (Apr 4, 2013)

hibiscus said:


> Does anyone know how to delete a profile?
> 
> TAM has been interesting but its time for me to let go. Unfortunately being on here can give me triggers. Some of the posts feed on my anger and paranoia so its better if I just delete my profile.
> 
> I also spend waaaay too much time on here!


I have this problem sometimes, too. =)

Sometimes stories on here, new and old, will cause me to disect everything in my life when truly, at that time, there's no need for it. So I use TAM when I need it.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Deleting your profile won't work. TAM will still be here.

I've blocked this site at times with my computer.

I have little willpower when it comes to TAM. LOL


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

hibiscus said:


> Does anyone know how to delete a profile?
> 
> TAM has been interesting but its time for me to let go. Unfortunately being on here can give me triggers. Some of the posts feed on my anger and paranoia so its better if I just delete my profile.
> 
> I also spend waaaay too much time on here!


The addiction if flattering.

The fact we trigger things with our (oft unwarranted) suspicions is not.

I personally will be sorry to see you go.

If you REALLY want to leave, try to get permanently banned. It doesn't seem too difficult if Somedaydig could accomplish it.


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## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

I have tried having a break but then I read a thread and I on back on here full force. My partner thinks i am thinking of cheating on him cause i am always typing on my ipad/iphone/computer. TAM is going to get me into trouble. 
How do I get banned? Do I have to swear alot?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Sorry, but I can't help but see the irony in this situation. He cheats to you, lies to you, and now he is the one that has trust issues.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

hibiscus said:


> I have tried having a break but then I read a thread and I on back on here full force. My partner thinks i am thinking of cheating on him cause i am always typing on my ipad/iphone/computer. TAM is going to get me into trouble.
> How do I get banned? Do I have to swear alot?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If you like, I can swear out a complaint on you.

Granted, considering MY reputation, you'll probably get a medal.


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## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

JCD said:


> If you like, I can swear out a complaint on you.
> 
> Granted, considering MY reputation, you'll probably get a medal.


Lol. Very kind of you.
I will just have to try and take a break. TAM is very addictive. Either that or I have an addictive nature


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## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> Sorry, but I can't help but see the irony in this situation. He cheats to you, lies to you, and now he is the one that has trust issues.


Squeaker I know what you mean.very ironic. He has a fear that I will retaliate in the future. Most people do.

I am actually typing this on my iPad in the bathroom. He just asked me if I was okay. Lol. I guess it looks bad.

Maybe I am having an affair with TAM


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

hibiscus said:


> I have tried having a break but then I read a thread and I on back on here full force. My partner thinks i am thinking of cheating on him cause i am always typing on my ipad/iphone/computer. TAM is going to get me into trouble.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So the BS has to give up a healthy outlet that she enjoys because her cheating boyfriend is paranoid that she's cheating on him?? Sorry but if that's how he's behaving/thinking then it's not TAM that is giving you troubles. Not to mention he could just be projecting. What else is he going to make YOU give up because of HIS undeserved insecurities??

How long has he had this issue?? And did you start "triggering" because of this site or did you suddenly start "triggering" after he had a problem with you being on TAM more than he's comfortable with?


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

hibiscus said:


> I have tried having a break but then I read a thread and I on back on here full force. My partner thinks i am thinking of cheating on him cause i am always typing on my ipad/iphone/computer. TAM is going to get me into trouble.
> How do I get banned? *Do I have to swear alot?*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





JCD said:


> If you like, I can swear out a complaint on you.
> 
> Granted, considering MY reputation, you'll probably get a medal.




No you dont have to swear, but it helps if you call JCD lots of insulting names.


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## JustGrinding (Oct 26, 2012)

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

(cue the guitar solo . . .)


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I think you should just regulate your usage. I (as well as many others apparently) could easily form an addiction to this sight. Instead of taking a dark road all the time (paranoia, triggers, etc...) I limit my use, think a lot before coming back, and use what I learned to improve my marriage. Even though coming here has been extremely painful for me, I have applied many things learned to my marriage and over the last month my marriage,(already pretty good) has improved dramatically!! I think that getting strong in any marriage takes facing the ugly things, exposing them, and then putting them to death. My marriage has gained the most from CWI section. That maybe should not make sense?? But it is the truth. The absolute devotion and care that many have had to enact to save a marriage that has been mortally wounded by infidelity, has been instructional to me in strengthening my own marriage. Honestly, there have been times when I have almost vomited when reading through someones painful experiences and I have both cried and prayed several times because of empathy and my own triggers. At the end of the day, however, I take into my home a strength that comes from those that have been shoved into an abyss and come back, different, but stronger. I hope you can stick around. Your particular situation has definitely provided insights that are needed and you seem pretty likeable as well. Hope the best for you and your fella.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

this site is a lot better than fb or haunting pick up sites.

I can see how this place can be dangerous as most people here (like myself) have had trouble in their relationship and are primed to see situations in certain ways.

We tend to be geared to see the worst and a lot of hype and energy gets spent on dramatic attitudes which I am sure impacts lives negatively at least some of the time.

I do not mean to detract from the real value of this site , the wealth of experience here or devalue what people experience in their lives by my previous paragraph.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Done. If you don't see us for a week...you're welcome.

But you have to come back


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

You can't delete your profile. I've asked.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

hibiscus said:


> Does anyone know how to delete a profile?
> 
> TAM has been interesting but its time for me to let go. Unfortunately being on here can give me triggers. Some of the posts feed on my anger and paranoia so its better if I just delete my profile.
> 
> I also spend waaaay too much time on here!


I'd rather you didn't go, as it's helpful having several UK perspectives.:smthumbup:


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Hate to lose you, Hibiscus, but if you really want to say au revoir, I'd send a TAM moderator a personal message stating your intentions and I would greatly think that they could help you out!

But then again, I could be mistaken!*


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

For what it's worth, I'm in the camp of don't go as well. Just take breaks from time to time. I'm pretty sure we all do as this place can be depressing as hell. However, it's still a necessary place made better with folks like you around.


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## Cabsy (Mar 25, 2013)

You could probably nuke some of your content if you cared to do it, like your posts and any profile info you've set - even if the profile itself is sentenced to purgatory. As long as you're not removing context from vital and/or active discussions, they're your posts and I don't see any harm. Er, I mean... One of us, one of us...

+1 for regulating your usage if you can handle it though. Stop by only when it's therapeutic for you, and if it's not, find something enjoyable to do away from here. When you do stop by, avoid the troll threads and any of the more outrageous stories if those cause your mind to wander. 

Best of luck.


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## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

JCD said:


> Done. If you don't see us for a week...you're welcome.
> 
> But you have to come back


I am still here. Did you ban me JCD? I don't mind if you do actually.


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## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

Jasel said:


> So the BS has to give up a healthy outlet that she enjoys because her cheating boyfriend is paranoid that she's cheating on him?? Sorry but if that's how he's behaving/thinking then it's not TAM that is giving you troubles. Not to mention he could just be projecting. What else is he going to make YOU give up because of HIS undeserved insecurities??
> 
> How long has he had this issue?? And did you start "triggering" because of this site or did you suddenly start "triggering" after he had a problem with you being on TAM more than he's comfortable with?


Oops given the wrong impression of my partner. He hasn't asked me to give up this site. He has noticed that I am on my ipad/iphone/computer alot more than usual and has asked what I am doing. I told him that I am replying to my emails. Sort of true. I don't want him to know about TAM because he will recognise me instantly. 

As for the triggering I have always had them. But they have become increasingly worse since I posted the thread about my BFF. Think its because I am reading more new threads on infidelity. 

Last Sunday morning I woke up in tears. I asked him for the umpteenth time if he would hurt me again. "No, never" He says. His eyes always wells up too. 

Where did that come from? Because of a thread I was reading. (Once a cheat always a cheat )

That's why I need to get off this site for a while. Unfortunately the Reconciliation section is deathly quiet. Shows how very few are able to R after cheating. I must be one of the very few.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

hibiscus said:


> I am still here. Did you ban me JCD? I don't mind if you do actually.


All I can do is ask...ask a moderator.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

hibiscus said:


> Oops given the wrong impression of my partner. He hasn't asked me to give up this site. He has noticed that I am on my ipad/iphone/computer alot more than usual and has asked what I am doing. I told him that I am replying to my emails. Sort of true. I don't want him to know about TAM because he will recognise me instantly.
> 
> As for the triggering I have always had them. But they have become increasingly worse since I posted the thread about my BFF. Think its because I am reading more new threads on infidelity.
> 
> ...


Hibiscus,

Go. Take a break. Do whatever you need to do. For many people, this site is a forum for help. It's to help people get through some of their toughest times. For others it's entertainment (some would argue good, some bad) and others it's a venue to help others.

You've gotten a lot of help out of this site, but now the pendulum is swinging the other way. I don't think ANYONE here wants to see you moving in a negative direction because you're here. If something were to ever happen where you needed help again, obviously, TAM would be here for you. But do what is healthy and good for you, take a break.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

hibiscus said:


> Oops given the wrong impression of my partner. He hasn't asked me to give up this site. He has noticed that I am on my ipad/iphone/computer alot more than usual and has asked what I am doing. I told him that I am replying to my emails. Sort of true. I don't want him to know about TAM because he will recognise me instantly.
> 
> As for the triggering I have always had them. But they have become increasingly worse since I posted the thread about my BFF. Think its because I am reading more new threads on infidelity.
> 
> ...


That could also be because when a couple are well into reconciliation they have no more need of TAM.

I think some that remain on the reconciliation thread are sometimes partly doing so to aid others in their reconciliation.

I can only echo some of the other posters here. If you feel you have to go then thank you, your story has been inspirational and I will feel yours and your friends story will be a great help to people.

If you can, please consider merely having a rest from TAM.

There are many who stay largely quiet but when a certain story catches their attention will weigh in with their hard won experience. Perhaps that could be you.

Plus TAM is more than just CWI and reconciliation threads.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

My rule is no TAM if my husband is home.

Occasionally I break it but overall I'm pretty good about it.


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

hibiscus said:


> That's why I need to get off this site for a while. Unfortunately the Reconciliation section is deathly quiet. Shows how very few are able to R after cheating. I must be one of the very few.


Try the "Reconciliation" thread on CWI. It's very up-lifting and a safe place to for both BS & fWS.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Squeakr said:


> Sorry, but I can't help but see the irony in this situation. He cheats to you, lies to you, and now he is the one that has trust issues.


Same with my wife. I think it's common for cheaters to expect to be cheated on. 

Sometimes I think she'd worried about retaliation, or that I'll just be out to replace her. Sometimes I think she feels that way because it's what she did, and shows her thought process hasn't really changed.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I'm gonna steal from the last line of this post for a second.



SomedayDig said:


> I'm sorry you're here. I'm sorry I'M here. I hate this place. It gives me comfort.


It illustrates exactly how I feel and how I use/have used TAM.

When it gets to be too much, I put my hands on my desk, push with my arms, lift with my legs and step away from my computer. I take a hiatus and go out and live my life. I leave and come back to TAM like it's a bad-habit-boyfriend. Sometimes I need a few days, sometimes weeks or even months. 

This is a great site and so much knowledge and support can be found here but it can also bring you down or make you obsessive about your own situation so caveat emptor applies. 

If you haven't guessed by now, I'm also in the camp of just take a break for a while. If you have WiFi, you might be able to block the site from your router if you have to. Then you can Google TAM but can't access the links.

I'd also suggest looking up some other sites if you use your computer to relax. Funny stuff works for me. Things like Awkward Family Photos, Regretsy, Passive Aggressive Notes, Dog Shaming etc. make me laugh until I burst. It's the best medicine after all.


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## tdwal (Jul 28, 2012)

You really can't close or delete an account. You can delete your thread you started and you can individually and painfully delete all your posts but as for getting rid of the account they don't do that. Have you talked with a Mod to see if they would ban you, not sure why they would unless you have done something really egregious.

Just take a break. But it is easier said than done. if you delete your thread you won't get posts that trigger you to respond. You can turn off PM's if you want also.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You can change your password to just a random bunch of junk and the forget it.


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## hibiscus (Jul 30, 2012)

I am gonna take a break for a week. As of right now. 

Later aligator


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

Noooooooooooooooooooo


But see u in a week


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## dymo (Jan 2, 2012)

If you really need to be banned, you could always message a mod and ask them to ban you. They'd probably do it.


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