# psychology of a first time squirter



## RevsDad (Jun 14, 2012)

I have been reading here for a few months but have only posted a few times. Something came up the other day while on vacation with my wife that leads me to post this question.

We were fooling around like we have many times (10 years of marriage, 12 years together). Many times our foreplay involves her using her Hitachi magic Wand on herself while I suck on her nipples and use a finger or 2 inside of her. This as you can imagine works really well and gives her fantastic orgasms every time. Like most, if she has been "without" for a bit of time she will cum faster and harder than if she cums 3-4 times in a week. She has never squirted in her life although I have suspected for years that she is "capable" of it. A few times over the years she has mentioned feeling like she has to pee when getting close to orgasm (always when I have really worked her g spot) so she has stopped herself. I of course have a had a fantasy of making her squirt so I have always held that thought in the back of my mind. That said she hadn't mentioned anything like the "peeing sensation" in a few years so I kind of figured it was a fantasy that would never come to fruition.

Anyway, the other day while on vacation we snuck away from the kids for a little fun. (Other family members watched them for us) It had been about a week since she had cum and it was pretty clear shortly after she started buzzing herself that she was going to cum quickly. No big deal. I started sucking on her nipples and teased her a bit with my hands. Since she was going to cum quickly I slid one finger in. I normally go with 2 but I was kind of in a hurry to get her some vaginal stimulation and i didn't want to catch an outer lip and hurt her so I just used the one for starters. I immediately went to her G spot and started rubbing it firmly as I always do. I did notice that her G spot was particularly "pronounced" and could really find it easily...even mroe easily than normal. I rubbed it with my finger while she buzzed her clit and I sucked her nipple. Her orgasm came as it has before and she had a particularly strong one. Very strong. Toward the end of her orgasm (I could still feel her contracting around my finger) I felt a splash against the palm of my hand and my other fingers. I was like "holy ****..do you know what just happened? You just squirted..you know...ejaculated."

She kind of got quiet and said that she didn't want to talk about it. I said that it was really hot and that I loved it. But she repeated that she didn't want to talk about it. I was so turned on that I just let it go and jumped on and we had fantastic sex. 

Since it happened I have tried to talk to her about it, each time telling her that I thought it was really cool, very hot, totally natural,and that she shouldn't be embarrassed. She claims that she isn't embarrassed and that she didn't even realize that she had squirted (which I totally understand...she was just enjoying a tremendous orgasm which happened to make her ejaculate a little) . It wasn't a huge amount of ejaculation and didn't soak the bed or anything. Just the top of my hand and my palm. But she just doesn't seem to share in my enthusiasm regarding this occurrence and is reluctant to discuss it even though I am nothing but positive and supportive about it. 

Can some of you ladies, particularly those of you who have "learned" to squirt later in life shed some light on the psychology here? I am just trying to understand my wife's thinking here moving forward. I am selfishly hoping that I am able to give her more great orgasms like this but at the same time I don't want her to hold back in fear of squirting again.

Thanks for any help here. I will provide any follow up details if anyone asks. Thanks again.


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

Maybe she thinks she peed and got embarrasssed because of that.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

chiben said:


> Maybe she thinks she peed and got embarrasssed because of that.


Agreed. Probably totally embarrassed, feels some shame etc.


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## Anomnom (Jun 25, 2012)

chiben said:


> Maybe she thinks she peed and got embarrasssed because of that.


This was my first thought too. Just keep up with the positive reinforcement and how hot and horny it made you that you think she ejaculated and maybe over time she'll be more comfortable with it. 

I have never but can imagine it would take quite some getting used to! I think your reaction is great and hopefully she'll warm up to trying it again.


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## dixieangel (Jun 28, 2012)

My guess is she thought she peed. With me, the first time it happened when I was highly aroused, extremely relaxed, after way too much foreplay/teasing...he had a g-spot vibrator inside me while rubbing his finger on my clit...it was so strong and left a wet spot on the bed. My husband had been wishing for it to happen and had been trying, so this was huge for us both! 

Keep encouraging her and letting her know it's not pee. My husband was such a freak about it, he hung my bottom over the edge of the bed, made me squirt, and put a glass underneath me to catch some of it to show me.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

chiben said:


> Maybe she thinks she peed and got embarrasssed because of that.


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

I myself can do that!!
The orgasm behind itis so explosive, I think it comes from the amoun of pressureto the gspot. Min i so pronounced hat youcan see it if you look there. I dont know if that hs anything to do wih making women like that to have a harder orgasm period..

I thought the same thing the first time i had done i. that i peed.
but when it happened again i was like this isnt normal so i started looking it up online and found out what it was.

i soak the bed. it lunges out whatever! just depends, the amount everytime it happens is always different. gleeting sometimes i guess you could say.

BF loves it!!! it really turns him on.

Make it happen again and i think s will be more comforatable with it. thats all you can do to make her feel more comfortable about it really is to show her how much you like it!


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## mina (Jun 14, 2012)

she definitely thinks it's pee. that's what I thought when it started happening to me. esp if she's had kids she will find it hard to believe it's not. you'll have to prove it to her. show her Jason Julius (squirt king) web site.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

it can't be pee. I felt it too with an old girlfriend. like revsdad says, it is distinctive, not a stream like pee would be, but a strong wide spray that washes your palm. also, she would 'jump' spasm with excitement. revsdad, next time your wife is open to talking, let her know exactly how it is and she'll understand how cool it is and it'll probly turn her on.


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## RevsDad (Jun 14, 2012)

Thanks for the replies everyone. I will keep up the positive re enforcement and try to reassure her the next time we are together that it isn't pee and if it happens...great...if not...still great!

I think she was likely taken aback by it actually happening. I'll do my best to make her comfortable should it happen again (fingers are crossed that it does).

One more question for the ladies here who squirt. Once it happens the first time will she be more likely to do it again more easily or is it just dependent on other factors like level of arousal, being relaxed etc?


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

The recipe for my partner is the same. If she hasn't orgasmed in a while, we engage in lots of foreplay, the situation is relaxed and/or particularly sexy and she will squirt. 

I love it. She's a bit hesitant..probably for the reason the other posters have suggested. She squirts fairly regulary on her own, with me it's only been a few times. I figure it probably comes down to her state of relaxation. 

It's definately not something you want to make a big issue of as any pressure she's feeling will inhibit her ability to relax and let it go. Just play and have fun and enjoy it when it happens. 

Have fun.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

RevsDad said:


> Thanks for the replies everyone. I will keep up the positive re enforcement and try to reassure her the next time we are together that it isn't pee and if it happens...great...if not...still great!


Just an FYI, and I'm risking a flame war, most of the medical evidence available suggests that it's urine. Women don't have prostate glands. They don't have contractual tissue surrounding their urethras. They just don't have the anatomical tools to produce and expel significant quantities of ejaculate.

But, some think that's just the medical branch of the patriarchy trying to rain on their parade (so to speak).


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## mina (Jun 14, 2012)

there is a huge taste difference between pee and this stuff. 

I am not going to say more than that!


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## dizmomof3 (Aug 24, 2012)

I'm new here & thought I'd chime in on this. I have been married for 19 years & never have had an orgasm (or atleast one good enough for me to really know I've had one). My dh & I went on our first ever alone vacation last summer & on the last night I had an awesome orgasm in which I squirted. Neither of us talked about it (except of each of commenting how awesome it was) until the next day I told my husband that I was embarrassed & that I thought I had peed. He assured me that it was not urine, no way. I actually read up on it after we got home & am still somewhat unsure.

So, fast forward, it has happened twice since then & I'm still not sure, but only know that it didn't use to happen & I'm glad it does now, whatever it is. I know, 19 years married I should have been an expert at orgasms by now. In my defense, we married very young & with a child already. Life has always been stressful & our marriage has always been a struggle. This was our first trip alone, ever, & I think that for the first time I was able to relax, without stress. It was an amazing trip & totally changed our relationship for the better.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

Umm...I'll research again but the final "conclusion " after much digging research on that is it IS pee LOL>>>>Just not the same exact chemical make up as pee thats ready to be expelled when you "have to " go pee pee and its mixed with vaginal seceretions...thats why its a thicker consistency..

And its sort of "forced out " IOW she isnt 'urinating' its being "forced out" by the orgasm..That shouldnt take away from that its a natural "phenomenon" thats as a result of a woman being in an extreme state of arousal and exctasy..It shouldnt be any source of "shame" whatsoever..


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

PHTlump said:


> Just an FYI, and I'm risking a flame war, most of the medical evidence available suggests that it's urine. Women don't have prostate glands. They don't have contractual tissue surrounding their urethras. They just don't have the anatomical tools to produce and expel significant quantities of ejaculate.
> 
> But, some think that's just the medical branch of the patriarchy trying to rain on their parade (so to speak).


I dont bleive so ..extensive research including catheradizing women who claim to have the female version of "semen" has shown it IS urine..but I guess you could call it "unfinished urine" ..LOL>>(virgin urine)...It doesn IMHO though TAKE away from that it IS a "sexual pehomenon"..that happens to women..


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

BUT it doesnt smell like pee.

when i was reading on it and watched videos, it talked about how the ejaculation comes from a different part of the thingy ( the part that you pee from....)


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> BUT it doesnt smell like pee.
> 
> when i was reading on it and watched videos, it talked about how the ejaculation comes from a different part of the thingy ( the part that you pee from....)


Its a mixture..and like I said the urine is not the same "exact" urine as what would be "ready" to come out when we have to actually go pee pee...its a very slighty different chemical make up..but "squirt" does come FROM the bladder...


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

i know you said that. i was jsut saying it doesnt!!!!!!!!!

but it would hav to because its a liquid, and the only that we secrete from the cavity its self is the cum.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> i know you said that. i was jsut saying it doesnt!!!!!!!!!
> 
> but it would hav to because its a liquid, and the only that we secrete from the cavity its self is the cum.


So are you saying the urine originates in the bladder but then is extreted out of the vagina...


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Now researchers believe that female cum is produced by the Skene's glands, which are located near a woman's urethra and are made of tissue that's similar in composition to a man's prostate gland. These researchers point to chemical analysis of female ejaculate that reveals the presence of high levels of prostatic acid phosphatase (a chemical secreted by the prostate gland and found in semen). This would seem to indicate that a woman's ejaculation is similar in composition to semen — without the sperm, of course. Female ejaculate is not pee. It's generally clear or somewhat milky, nearly odorless, and maybe a little sweet.


While plasma seepage from vaginal walls due to vascular engorgement is considered to be the chief lubrication source, the Bartholin's glands, located slightly below and to the left and right of the introitus (opening of the vagina), also secrete mucus to augment vaginal-wall secretions.


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## RevsDad (Jun 14, 2012)

Sorry all...I didn't mean to start a debate on the "realness" of female ejaculate (although FWIW I believe what bkaydezz says to be the truth..and I have researched it as well). I was just looking for information on what women think and feel after they learn that they have the capability to ejaculate.


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## karma*girl (Apr 28, 2012)

I usually pee before we get sexual in any way- & even then, I have still poured out a healthy amount of clear, sweet-tasting fluid with my orgasm.
And it only happens when my g-spot is getting lots of action, fills up almost balloon-like, then, 'pops' & the fluid pours out..sorry if that's tmi!! 

For the OP- explain to your wife what it is, do some research & like others said, reassure her, she'll come around- tell her even if it was pee, you were totally okay with it- if you tell her you want to make it happen again, that should be further proof to her that you were into it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

RevsDad said:


> Sorry all...I didn't mean to start a debate on the "realness" of female ejaculate (although FWIW I believe what bkaydezz says to be the truth..and I have researched it as well). I was just looking for information on what women think and feel after they learn that they have the capability to ejaculate.


no you didnt start anything.
some people enjoy trying to be right about everything.

it is much different for the person doing it to know about it than someone who doesnt.


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> no you didnt start anything.
> some people enjoy trying to be right about everything.
> 
> it is much different for the person doing it to know about it than someone who doesnt.


Just for the record I've "done it"...


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

and would you like a cookie???


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## dallasapple (Jun 20, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> and would you like a cookie???


What kind????:bounce:


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

well i actually have cheesecake browines right now. no cookies so maybe one of those????

the are delicious!


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

I'd like a cookie too please.  Not for squirting of course. I really like cookies.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

hhahaha dork.

where is the cookie icon!?


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## CanadianGuy (Jun 17, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> hhahaha dork.
> 
> where is the cookie icon!?


That's me: Tall, dork and, handsome.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

yayYY!!!!


you really need a cookie now!!!


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> Are you physically doing anything differently?


My partner most often cums through a combination of oral and manual stimulation of the g-spot. This is how I've managed to get her to squirt. On her own, unless she's a whole lot more flexible than I give her credit for, she squirts from manual stimulation only.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

MaritimeGuy said:


> My partner most often cums through a combination of oral and manual stimulation of the g-spot. This is how I've managed to get her to squirt. On her own, unless she's a whole lot more flexible than I give her credit for, she squirts from manual stimulation only.


So it's more the, "If she hasn't orgasmed in a while, we engage in lots of foreplay, the situation is relaxed and/or particularly sexy and she will squirt." I'll have to pay attention next it happens, and then talk about (never really did in the past). Thanks.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> So it's more the, "If she hasn't orgasmed in a while, we engage in lots of foreplay, the situation is relaxed and/or particularly sexy and she will squirt." I'll have to pay attention next it happens, and then talk about (never really did in the past). Thanks.


I think women can feel it coming on and will often hold back for fear they're peeing. Probably more are capable of experiencing it than do because of that.


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## oldgeezer (Sep 8, 2012)

I absolutely guarantee you, it is NOT pee. The first time ever for my wife, we were on the couch in the living room, with the kids in bed, and I dunno if it was the fear of getting caught that did it, or if I managed to use my tongue just right, but I caught a mouthful of sweet, non-salty, liquid. She said she didn't notice. THe next time was in doggy position, me in the back door and she drenched my side of the sheets. 

And no, it is absolutely NOT urine. 

Oh, and she swears she has no idea it happens. But she did say, when asked, that she'd just had a mind-blowing intense orgasm.


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## step_raising (Feb 14, 2012)

I've wanted to try this for years... I keep suggesting but I think she thinks it's not real or something. I've even thought about inviting an expert to show her how...


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

*Re: Re: psychology of a first time squirter*



step_raising said:


> I've wanted to try this for years... I keep suggesting but I think she thinks it's not real or something. I've even thought about inviting an expert to show her how...




Ummmmmm...... Fishing much?


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## TeR (Jun 28, 2012)

step_raising said:


> I've wanted to try this for years... I keep suggesting but I think she thinks it's not real or something. I've even thought about inviting an expert to show her how...


I've got the opposite...I wish I could ask my husband to make me squirt  One day when I grow up, I guess...


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

TeR said:


> I've got the opposite...I wish I could ask my husband to make me squirt  One day when I grow up, I guess...


Why not learn to do it yourself, first? Then teach him how to help you.

My GF knew she could make herself squirt before she met me. She had found a toy (a rabbit vibrator) that hit the right buttons. But she had never done that with a partner. So I watched a few educational videos, she worked on letting herself relax, and soon we were washing walls and sheets on a regular basis. 

Speaking of that, I've got a waterproof blanket that needs to be hung up to dry...

C


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Man I remember the first time I experienced a squirter. I was 22 and she was a 25 year old blonde with an incredible body. Our personalities were like oil and water so it didn't last long but the sex was unforgettable. The first time I didn't know what was going on ... I had picked her up and placed her on the edge of the bathroom counter. I thought we were both done but she excused herself and headed toward the toilet and I went to lay down in the bed. Maybe a minute later she came in and fell exhausted across me. I reached down to try to stimulate her and put my hand in one big wet mess, lol. I thought "what the heck?" ... had no idea. I was 22 and a naive 22 at that. Obviously she had taken that extra minute to finish the job. The next night, she is straddling me and I knew it was going to be good. She is getting very intense and going after it like I had never seen before ... then she says "DONT YOU EFFIN MOVE!!" I listened. Suddenly I felt just covered in a wet warm gooey mess all over my groin, down my legs, everywhere and she collapsed in convulsions. Tell you what, I've been able to do that since, sometimes with a lot of hard work and sometimes with luck ... but that moment still gets me aroused 20 years later.


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## PurpleLion (Jan 15, 2013)

RevsDad said:


> I think she was likely taken aback by it actually happening. I'll do my best to make her comfortable should it happen again (fingers are crossed that it does).
> 
> One more question for the ladies here who squirt. Once it happens the first time will she be more likely to do it again more easily or is it just dependent on other factors like level of arousal, being relaxed etc?


I was taken aback, too. I never knew that women could ejaculate until that happened.


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