# Would you....



## happysnappy (Jan 8, 2013)

Ever consider getting married again?

I initially was optimistic and said I would but as time goes by I just don't think I could ever do it again. In all of my long-term relationships (marriage included) I have fallen in love with someone to only much later realize that they are not who I thought they were. Like I fell in love with an ideal image of who that person could be, not who they really were.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I would say there is a 99.5% chance I would not get married again. I mean never say absolutely never but I don't want any more children so I don't really see the point


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Yes, I would consider it if the right person came along.


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## Orpheus (Jul 6, 2012)

why not? i'm not shopping for it but i wouldn't rule it out.


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## SingleInTx (Jan 18, 2013)

Highly, highly doubtful especially as I don't want more children, but wouldn't rule it out if the right person & situation came along. I would proceed with major caution this time, though, in any type of relationship and it would have to be [email protected] near rock solid for marriage to be considered.


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## Love And Light (Jan 21, 2013)

In a heartbeat! I love the man I am currently with and cannot wait to have children and a family with him. I did not want any of that with my XH so that's just one other indication that I am with the right man for me. You only live once, if you fall in love and want to marry again you should not let anything that has happened in your past hinder you from creating your future!


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Yes I would. I enjoyed being married for the most part with the ex, we were together for 17+ years. I am a funny woman, love my independence and freedom but I also enjoy the boundaries of marriage.

Ex and I we great together, we are still friends and I care for him greatly. We were not a great match though, we could have stayed married forever but I would never have been fulfilled so ended it.
I don't have regrets from that part of my life and I have the most amazing children to show for it.

I would marry my current partner, I think we are a fantastic match. Life is more complicated now though so I won't consider marriage until we have been together for 5 or so years.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

happysnappy said:


> Ever consider getting married again?


NO WAY. I'd rather pull my fingernails out of my fingers. It would be far less painful.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Perhaps, but there would have to be serious differences in commitment and respect of the "thing" we were trying to do, and I just dont see that in anyone these days.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

happysnappy said:


> Ever consider getting married again?
> 
> I initially was optimistic and said I would but as time goes by I just don't think I could ever do it again. In all of my long-term relationships (marriage included) I have fallen in love with someone to only much later realize that they are not who I thought they were. Like I fell in love with an ideal image of who that person could be, not who they really were.


How long did it take to "fall in love" and how long did it take for you to realize they weren't who you thought they were?

You don't really even start knowing a person until 2 years of relationship. That's about how long it takes for chemicals to wear off and masks to come off. If you "fall in love" before that time you are confusing love with infatuation. Love is not that giddy feeling you feel when you're around someone, those are chemicals your body gives off. Love is when you know all the bullcrap about someone and choose to serve and care for them anyway. That can't happen when you still have the masks on.


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## stillhoping (Aug 27, 2012)

I would need to move very slowly for that to happen. I am finishing a degree, love my job and reconnected with lots of people in my life, so pretty busy and loving it. I don't have a lot of room for a single person in my life right now, of course that could be because there is no special person! I would love to have the "til death do us part" feeling again. I am lonely and missing the partnership and the anticipation of the future with someone.


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

no


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Yes. I realized I was not ever in love with XH or anyone, I guess, really. I enjoyed being married - just the wrong guy. I would take it much slower and more cautiously for sure... I like the 2-5 year rule. But I can't see myself never being married again.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Yes, but it will take time. I want to get married and have children. However, I have definitely considered adopting as a single parent once I get my life back on track. And then if the right guy comes along, that's great!


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

Yes, I would. 

I enjoyed being married and could again. But it is really just a piece of paper if the commitment is already there. I wouldn't be against simply co-habitating either. Or not. Who knows. 

I do not know what will happen.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

zillard said:


> Yes, I would.
> 
> I enjoyed being married and could again. But it is really just a piece of paper if the commitment is already there. I wouldn't be against simply co-habitating either. Or not. Who knows.
> 
> *I do not know what will happen.*


And that is the exciting part


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> Ever consider getting married again?


I might consider it, but I would most likely decide 'NO'.

Don't see the point; I'm not having any more kids.

I like A LOT of private time to myself.

I'd rather not even shack-up; I'd rather we lived NEAR each other and visited back and forth. At this point I cannot see wanting to share my living space with another adult permanently, not enough up-side. I can get the bennies by visiting his place or vice versa.


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## gulfwarvet (Jan 7, 2013)

Marriage again? I think some reluctance comes from the fact society truly doesn't hold marriage sacred at all anymore its become disposable.I remember growing up going to church with my grandparents and being out here in rural Minnesota-never heard of divorce-that was something that happened in town.Nowadays I get invited to a wedding and I have a hard time attaching much importance to it because statistically yeah its only got a fifty percent chance.I will be very cautious if the opportunity ever presents itself again.


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## zillard (Nov 13, 2012)

The ending of a relationship can be extremely hard and devastating, marriage or no. 

Many here have mentioned they would not marry again because they won't have more children? Why is it about creating children? Many marriages do not result in children. 

I don't see the ending of my marriage as any reason I should not get married again. And I cannot have any more children. 

Maybe I see things differently because I did not have a high conflict divorce (legally speaking). The impact on finances, etc was minimal. To me the most devastating parts of it were betrayal and rejection (which can happen in any type of relationship) and the effects on my daughter. 

So if the next one did not involve creating more children, it seems it would be easier to decide to do.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I like A LOT of private time to myself.
> 
> I'd rather not even shack-up; I'd rather we lived NEAR each other and visited back and forth. At this point I cannot see wanting to share my living space with another adult permanently, not enough up-side. I can get the bennies by visiting his place or vice versa.


:iagree: I could've written this.


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## legiox (Sep 2, 2012)

Yes i want to get married again. I want a family. I'm only 29, but I'm not getting any younger.


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## Tr1qu3tra (Jun 4, 2012)

happysnappy said:


> Ever consider getting married again?
> 
> I initially was optimistic and said I would but as time goes by I just don't think I could ever do it again. In all of my long-term relationships (marriage included) I have fallen in love with someone to only much later realize that they are not who I thought they were. Like I fell in love with an ideal image of who that person could be, not who they really were.


I'm pretty sure I could never do it again, but I guess there's a chance if I were to get to know someone well enough.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

legiox said:


> Yes i want to get married again. I want a family. I'm only 29, but I'm not getting any younger.


The part of you that produces children functions quite well into old age, unlike us females.


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## not.a.fool (Jan 27, 2013)

I am considering marriage now, I have been divorced 20 years and have had a lot of time to learn and grow, realizing that it's not always going to be peaches and cream, sometimes it's just oatmeal without milk!


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## angelpixie (Mar 2, 2012)

I totally agree with SGW. In fact, I know a few people in this type of arrangement right now, and they're very happy with it. 

This is especially true for me since I have a 10-year-old. My first priority is him. Our home is our home. I don't need a step-father for him (at this point ) and he has enough drama with his father's live-in gf, so I don't want to add to that with someone moving in with me.

We didn't have a high-conflict divorce, but I am not happy with how the financial situation broke down. I lost. I'm also not taking that type of chance again.


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