# Help with dominant and abusive wife in the bedroom (bondage)



## TroubledSexLife (Aug 23, 2012)

I am really embarrassed about my situation so if someone can help me, I would appreciate it. My wife and I get along really well for the most part. Our libidos are on the same level but the thing that differs is the nature of our sexual urges. My wife likes to be very dominant when it comes to sex. She is into many kinky fetishes including bondage. I have never belittled her about this and have gladly tried out most things but I feel like she is taking advantage of me and abusing me.

Some examples over the years are:

She sometimes ties me up before sex promising to do certain acts to me but then just forces me to eat her out and does not return any favor. The first time I took it as a joke but after that I got frustrated. She would tie my hands behind me and my legs and would just lay me down on my stomach.

Other times when she has tied me up, she has given me a hand job but teased and denied it for a long time. When she finally completed it for me, she used this technique to ruin my orgasm. I came but there was no feeling.

One time, a few days after an argument, she tied me up, blind folded me, and even gagged me. However, instead of having sex, she just let me lie there and told me that this was what I got for being a jerk. a few minutes into the bondage session, she even put ear plugs in me so that I was totally deprived of all my senses. She left me like that for a little over an hour. I felt so helpless. 

She never wants to perform oral on me even when there is no bondage. I always perform on her. 

She has a fetish for hitting my testicles at times. She will like to flick them or just grab them and roll them around her hands. 

She always insisted on having a MFM threesome. I never wanted this and made it clear to her. One night when tied to the bed posts, she told me she had a surprise for me and went downstairs. When she came back after a little while, I began receiving a hand job. I was blindfolded and could not see who it was but felt it was different. I told her to remove the blindfold and she was reluctant at first. I squirmed around and was trying to dislodge it. I finally peeked through a little bit and saw that it was a MAN GIVING ME A HAND JOB! I immediately started screaming and the guy stopped. My wife told him to continue but he freaked out and wanted to leave. My wife let him out of the house but refused to untie me because I was in a dangerous mood. She left me like that for the rest of the night. (It was much later that I found out that this guy was bisexual, a coworker of my wife's, and her AFFAIR PARTNER! But that is a separate issue.)


Now I don't know how to get her to understand me. Everytime we talk about this, she thinks I am calling her a pervert for her desires but I am not! I just want her to meet me half way. I told her that bringing a man into our bedroom without my permission was essentially rape. It was even worse because he was her Affair Partner and he pretty much violated me. She told me that I was too much of a prude and that many cultures throughout history had bisexual relations. I just don't know what to do.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

From what I know BDSM should involve agreed to scenes and boundaries. I don't get why you stay with someone who does this to you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TroubledSexLife (Aug 23, 2012)

I do still love her and I have not really met or found someone else. Scared to leave after our history together.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

RUN FOREST RUN!!!!!!

The only question is what is you safe word?

There are no bounfries and its all about abusing you, cuz it appears you are getting nothing out of this. So stop!

I mean she doesn't love you nearly as much as you love her and yet you stay. She has little respect ...well she has no respect for you and yet you stay. She has a boy friend and you are sharing your wife...yet you stay!


You can't control her but you can control what you will tolorate.


I strongly suggest that you stop getting tied up, in fact if it was me I'd be doing the tieing up and show my wife exactly how much of a prude I was as her butt gets reder and reder from spanking her....but thats just me.

Man up brother! Stop being a scardy cat!

You are bing abused and need to get out!


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## trying_to_rejuvenate (Aug 21, 2012)

Excuse me. But she is a pervert. And unless you stand up and call a spade a spade you will not be much respected either.
She is doing it because you are taking it.
If you dont like it, especially because of the perversion element then say so otherwise she will abuse you.

Not only it is perverted but it seems a sick mind and it seems she does not love you at all in fact it seems she hates you and you are letting her enjoy it and willingly participating in this while she intentionally emasculates you and denigrates you. No MAN will take this **** and neither should you.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

What you are describing is called rape. Call the police. I'm serious.

If I tied my wife up and then had a third party (man or woman) touch her sexually against her will what do you think people would say?


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> e always insisted on having a MFM threesome. I never wanted this and made it clear to her. One night when tied to the bed posts, she told me she had a surprise for me and went downstairs. When she came back after a little while, I began receiving a hand job. I was blindfolded and could not see who it was but felt it was different. I told her to remove the blindfold and she was reluctant at first. I squirmed around and was trying to dislodge it. I finally peeked through a little bit and saw that it was a MAN GIVING ME A HAND JOB! I immediately started screaming and the guy stopped. My wife told him to continue but he freaked out and wanted to leave. My wife let him out of the house but refused to untie me because I was in a dangerous mood. She left me like that for the rest of the night.


YIKES.... Yeah that would get me in a postal mood...


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Are you aware that your wife has committed felonious acts on you, punishable by some serious prison time?


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

If I may quote the amityville Horror House:

GET OUT!

Let's see:

1) she's involved in an affair (and has exposed you to STDs - Get tested by the way)
2) she doesn't care if she hurts you (and you aren't into pain)
3) she set you up for a homosexual encounter against your will
4) she doesn't reciprocate oral favors
5) she doesn't care about what you want/don't want. It's all about her

RUN! FAST and HARD. You're in an abusive relationship! There's nothing to be ashamed about. It happens all the time!


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

TroubledSexLife said:


> I do still love her...


Are you serious here?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

And you let her keep tying you up why?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

OH MAN DUDE SHE MILKED YOU THAT'S SO F$CKED UP ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T WANT IT.

SHE'S RAPING YOU YOU NEED TO FILE CHARGES ASAP. I'M YELLING BECAUSE I WAS RAPED REPEATEDLY BY MY FIRST HUSBAND IT SUUUUUUUCKS. Okay I'm cool.


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## mrsamazing (Feb 9, 2012)

troll?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

trying_to_rejuvenate said:


> Excuse me. But she is a pervert. And unless you stand up and call a spade a spade you will not be much respected either.
> She is doing it because you are taking it.
> If you dont like it, especially because of the perversion element then say so otherwise she will abuse you.
> 
> Not only it is perverted but it seems a sick mind and it seems she does not love you at all in fact it seems she hates you and you are letting her enjoy it and willingly participating in this while she intentionally emasculates you and denigrates you. No MAN will take this **** and neither should you.


Lets not judge others but advise them that OP does have a say in how he enjoys his sex life and the boundries he has and the consequences for when they are crossed.

There may be a some level of enjoyment with this kind of thing , but clarely the WW is abusive in this case.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

mrsamazing said:


> troll?


That was my guess.


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

TroubledSexLife said:


> I am really embarrassed about my situation so if someone can help me, I would appreciate it. My wife and I get along really well for the most part. Our libidos are on the same level but the thing that differs is the nature of our sexual urges. My wife likes to be very dominant when it comes to sex. She is into many kinky fetishes including bondage. I have never belittled her about this and have gladly tried out most things but I feel like she is taking advantage of me and abusing me.
> 
> Some examples over the years are:
> 
> ...


Okay the dominates role is to provide the submissive with punishment / pleasure to try and achieve a sort of sexual nirvana. The role of dominate mean that the submissive must trust the dominate fully. That the dominate will act in such a way to increase pleasure. Bondage and the roles within it should start and stop at the bedroom door. 
You can't live in a marriage as a dominate. You can have your fun in the bedroom but day to day it has to be put aside. 
Please post your story in the CWI you could benefit from telling the whole story there. 
But the most important part of bondage is limits. The sub and dom have to work out how far they are willing to go, what they are willing to try, and what is completely off of the table.

At this point you don't need to be trying to make her understand anything. You need to go cold. You need to resolve the Affair first before even attempting to do anything else in the bed room. Stop worring about her and worry about yourself right now. Please go to the CWI forum so we can help you understand what is going on.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

Your wife seems like she would benefit from being a professional Dominatrix. These women are famous for doing exactly what she is doing. They don't always give pleasure, some rarely do. They take a special liking to humiliating men but these men ARE WILLING. They pay these women to do this. Alot of times there's no "typical" sexual release for the man. Many powerful men get tired of being in charge, being the alpha so they seek out these women.

An alternative to her treating YOU this way would be to allow her to do this professionally. I'm not sure if you would consider it affairs though. It's tricky. As of now though, she's violating you.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Thats disgusting.

Im jsut baffled that she would bring a man in there to do that.
Shes sick mentally.
You dont do that to someone.

Have fun with it, but she is being completely excessive with it.
So much that she is leaving you there against your will.

You have to stop letting her do that to you.
you cant feel helpless if you keep letting her have her way with you.

I wouldnt even be in a relationship wih someone if they did that to me. 
That tells me that she does not care about how she hurts you or hurts the relationship.
She is taking her dominance out of the bedroom and into a a very wrong way.

Go find you someone that wants to fulfill your needs.
There are amillion women that would love to have a chance with a man that was willing to bend in the bedroom.

sorry you have to deal with that.

but there is alottttttt of mental things going on with this woman!!!!


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

First, you were raped. You were forced into sexual contact by your wife. And she did it entirely to humiliate you. That's not someone who loves you, not in the least. 

Here is something very important: even in a marriage with a Dom, the Dom respects their sub. The do not rape the sub, they do not do anything the sub rejects.

Your wife obviously enjoys humiliating, hurting, abusing you, but equally so she does not love or respect you.

Oh, and she is cheating.

There are some people like your wife which are abusive and enjoy abusing people. This isn't domination, ths isn't being a domme. They hide behind those names, but they are sick abusive people.

Why are you letting her cheat? Why are you letting her humiate and abuse you? Why have you not dealt with her setting you up to be raped?

She may be sweat to you outside the bedroom, but that doesn't mean you should accept abuse.

Go post on a board like FetLife and youll see how people into this stuff react in horror at what she has done.


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## snipey (Aug 16, 2012)

dude firstly I am truley very sorry for you ,
I am in no way homophobic ,I have some friends who are gay and it doesn't bother in the slightest but man on man rape would be one of harshest things I could imagine. And your wife actually arranged it,
Also she kept suggesting mfm 3some and you said no. Not only that but you say it was her AFFAIR PARTNER. If my wife brought another man into my house with the intent of it being sexual and I find out she had an affair with this man I would flip out big time I would never lay a finger on my wife never had ,never will but I would probably hunt that man down and do something that would get me a one way ticket to prison.
even with out this crazy thing there is so much bad stuff going on.
I tied a girl up once (she agreed to it btw dont go calling the police)
I also blindfolded her it was very fun she did it to me too but we were very gentle with each other and both of us were left feeling pleased ,what this crazy women is doing is horrible.(sorry for calling your wife crazy ) there is just so much wrong with this stop letting her tie you up man. To be tied up by someone there has to be a lot of trust between both involved ,this is so wrong dude get out of there this women is horrible and selfish and a sex offender WTF .
If a man did this to women he would go to prison and rightly so....


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

WorkingOnMe said:


> What you are describing is called rape. Call the police. I'm serious.
> 
> If I tied my wife up and then had a third party (man or woman) touch her sexually against her will what do you think people would say?


That would be why the guy ran so fast. He knows he could go away for years for this.


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

mrsamazing said:


> troll?


Yep, guy with a cuckold fantasy.


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## joelmacdad (Jul 26, 2010)

New user, two posts, about a MFM fantasy and dominant wife, troll ta troll troll troll....


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## badbane (Jun 9, 2012)

yea troll, darn It was promising though. I have a feeling, if this would have been true, it would have been one hell of a interesting read. ONly way to me if this would make sense is if the wife found the posts. She probably tied him to the computer chair and made him wait for two hours.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Writing style. The same guy whose wife grabbed him by the balls . JB100


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

What do people get out of posting this crap?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jameskimp (May 8, 2012)

Definitely troll.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

You have to stand your ground very forcefully otherwise she'll keep doing it. My wife used to be very dominant as well and made me ban restraints from the household. Her greatest fantasy is also to thrust a strap-on up my ass. No thanks!

Either you put her in her place, or she will.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

I'm not discounting the extreme distress of this man's "male" encounter, but I don't think we should be throwing the "rape" word around. He wasn't penetrated. As someone who has experienced non-consensual penetration I find it a bit offensive. He was violated and molested, yes.

OP - There is some reason you keep letting your wife treat you like this... If you were upset with previous encounters why on earth would you let her tie you up, again and again?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

The OP is such a panzy if what he says is true. I can't believe there are men in this world that let themselves get so dominated and walked on like a doormat by their wives. Simply pathetic...


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

TroubledSexLife said:


> Now I don't know how to get her to understand me. .. I just don't know what to do.


Here's what to do: grow balls. Then have a guy called a process server or deputy constable come hand her some paper work and say: "You have been served." She'll understand that. Guaranteed.


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## HappyHubby (Aug 16, 2012)

YinPrincess said:


> I'm not discounting the extreme distress of this man's "male" encounter, but I don't think we should be throwing the "rape" word around. He wasn't penetrated. As someone who has experienced non-consensual penetration I find it a bit offensive. He was violated and molested, yes.
> 
> OP - There is some reason you keep letting your wife treat you like this... If you were upset with previous encounters why on earth would you let her tie you up, again and again?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Although the original thread post is clearly a troll, I find YOUR comment offensive. Your comment suggests the same hypocritical anti-male "men dont matter" feminist ideology that can only define rape as a woman being penetrated. 

This IS one of the ways a man is raped and for you to hijack the term denies many men who are violated in real life the help and support they need for a serious crime committed against them.

What happened to you was horrible Im sure but dont go minimizing the suffering of others so you can feel 'special' and wear the rape term as a badge of victimhood that others cant belong to simply because they have a penis.

IF a woman was penetrated with fingers I would say she was raped. Therefore if a man is enveloped by a hand (penis' dont go inwards so penetration not possible) then I would also say he was raped also.

Do people agree with me or Yinprincess?


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## HappyHubby (Aug 16, 2012)

Adex said:


> The OP is such a panzy if what he says is true. I can't believe there are men in this world that let themselves get so dominated and walked on like a doormat by their wives. Simply pathetic...


I doubt this is a real thread. Troll all the way. he hasnt even made a response post


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Hey OP where are ya? Three pages later and you can't respond? I guess maybe you got "tied up" with things?


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