# Overbearing In-Laws



## Obi Kenobi (Dec 20, 2011)

My fiancee and I will be taking our vows in less that a month. We have invited family and friends to take witness to our ceremony. We had to decide not to include her parents because of the negative energy that they seem to give off. My mother-in-law to be is vicious with her words and attitude. She always has negative things to say about me. I have chosen to stay out of her presence. I do not even go over to her home.

Today, I have found out that my father-in-law to be has a negative attitude about me. I have done nothing more than to help out and assist there family whenever and wherever I could. My fiancee's dad seemed to be the person who had the better head on his shoulder and I was given the impression that he liked me. Now, I have learned something other than what was being shown to me.

I am starting to have second thoughts on everything where my relationship is concerned. Her family is extremely close in to where they are overbearing. Fiancee is 44 years old and they still see her as if she is 19 years old. Nothing I do for her will ever be good enough and now I have doubts that I want to enter into a legal relationship in where her family wants to be involved in every topic under the sun.

I won't keep her from her family, but I don't want to be around them, talk to them, or see them. I'm keeping my distance from all of them.

Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how did you handle it?


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## mzladii (Dec 18, 2011)

Currently experiencing problems with in-laws, sister in laws... My fiance is 38 years old and his family still acts like he's a child also, 1 of my SIL's is blatantly disrespectful and rude to me and they gossip a lot. I have told my fiancé about how I feel and now I guess I'm just waiting, not the type of person to sit by and let another person disrespect me. 
My plan is to be very polite to my SIL, learned this technique in anger management and maybe it can help others...
"I feel______ because you_____ and I want_______, if this cannot happen I am going to______" 
My plan is to tell my sister in law "I feel disrespected by the way you talk to/about me and I want all rude and disrespectful behaviors and actions to stop, if they do not you will no longer be welcome in our home and we will not be visiting you at yours."
I feel it would be very important to have this convo in front of my fiance to avoid mis communications about what is said.
However I'm also in search of other options how to deal with inlaws, trying to get every view and opinion possible.hopefully this helps, just wanted to share and let u know your not alone in your struggle good luck
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Obi Kenobi said:


> My fiancee and I will be taking our vows in less that a month. We have invited family and friends to take witness to our ceremony. We had to decide not to include her parents because of the negative energy that they seem to give off. My mother-in-law to be is vicious with her words and attitude. She always has negative things to say about me. I have chosen to stay out of her presence. I do not even go over to her home.
> 
> Today, I have found out that my father-in-law to be has a negative attitude about me. I have done nothing more than to help out and assist there family whenever and wherever I could. My fiancee's dad seemed to be the person who had the better head on his shoulder and I was given the impression that he liked me. Now, I have learned something other than what was being shown to me.
> 
> ...


Ah sounds like my mother.

What I told her was that she had to show respect to my husband. I did not care to hear any negative opinions about him. If she wanted to see me, she would have to be respectful.

You fiance should be the one to first tell her parents this.

Actually my mother-in-law was just as nasty. So we invited both of them to our wedding but told them if they started any misbehavior at all we'd call a taxi and send them home. They believed us and actually behaved during our wedding and the dinner and party afterwards.


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## anemas (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm not officially married. We've been engaged for 3 years now. We have held off because our relationship has been rocky. I'm younger than you're fiance and don't know how wise my advice is, but parents mean a lot. I think it will the poor relationship between you and her parents will eventually cause a rift between you two. I hate to say it, but think about before getting married. There has to be at least some respect between all of you. They gave her life and will always be important to her even after they are gone.


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