# Hurt by timing.......



## Penny905 (Mar 28, 2014)

I know nothing can be done, but I just need to vent....

My son who is 25 and still lives with us was severely injured in an accident 9 1/2 months ago. Hospitalized almost 2 months, re-hab then home. He is still going through procedures & major surgeries. He had 2 surgeries last month bring the total up to 17 and now he is getting ready for at least 2 plastic surgeries.

When it first happened I took 2 weeks off, the rest of the time while he was hospitalized I worked 4 hours a day. I am still taking quite a bit of time off, sometimes just 2 hours to take him to doctors appointments, full days when he has surgery or coming home from hospital after surgery. 

This weekend, I received a fruit basket from my work. It was sent with a card signed by co-workers in my department saying still in our prayers, always thinking of you etc etc

I have worked here for over 30 years, in this department for 4 years. When the accident happened, I received nothing. I did get a personal card from someone in a different department and a Medal for my son from someone else in another. I was hurt that nothing was done, because I am always donating. I got over it. Now they do this and I am so hurt, I kind of feel like they poured salt in my wound. Yes I know I should be grateful and thankful but all I am is hurt.....

Rant over!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Moral: Man is basically a selfish, untrusting animal! At least, the vast majority of them!

I'm truly sorry for what you've sadly had to endure!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

People can be uncaring and absorbed in their own world. I am very sorry for what your son is going through. It would be devastating to me. God Bless.



Sent from my AndyOSX using Tapatalk


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Hi Brandy,

You have people here that care about you and your son. We are praying for his recovery. 

Sending you a virtual fruit basket....


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

It is interesting how the ebb and flow of sympathy gestures can have no rhyme nor reason as to how they are delivered. I am a section off a central division but am not co-located with everyone else. I will often find out weeks or even months later of someone's hardship simply because of that small, but yet enough of a communication gap that sympathies get missed.

Also, it seems we have a self-assigned "sympathy team" that initiates such actions... if for some reason they are gone during a window of need, people assume they will pick it up when they return but it gets missed and then people suddenly realize "oh goodness, we didn't do anything for X", and rush something together not thinking how it feels on the other end.

You are a good and caring mother, and a caring and compassionate co-worker, that you so readily give says a lot about you. I am sorry your son was so hurt in his accident and has to endure so many challenges to overcome his injuries. His mother loves him we can tell by your commitment.

As hard as it is to not feel hurt, please do not let that jade your outlook toward your working relationships It is fair to be disappointed, it is an honest emotion and you would be right to feel it, but please free your heart of this underserved happening and know that where people who know you have missed an opportunity to wish you better futures, there are people here that will make up the difference.

If time off is creating a financial hardship, a gofundme account in his name can pull incredibly charitable and compassionate donations... if you set it up, PM me and I would happily give to assist you.

May you and your son continue to have the strength needed to face all coming challenges, LKM thoughts your direction.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Communication at work may not be as good as you think. Its possible that many people don't know what happened.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

That's sad, I'm sorry you went through that. Praying for you and sending you some ~~virtual~~ hugs


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Penny905 said:


> *This weekend, I received a fruit basket from my work. It was sent with a card signed by co-workers in my department saying still in our prayers, always thinking of you etc etc*
> 
> I have worked here for over 30 years, in this department for 4 years. When the accident happened, I received nothing. I did get a personal card from someone in a different department and a Medal for my son from someone else in another. * I was hurt that nothing was done, because I am always donating.* I got over it. Now they do this and I am so hurt, I kind of feel like they poured salt in my wound. Yes I know I should be grateful and thankful but all I am is hurt.....
> 
> Rant over!


 So sorry for what you & your family has gone through ....I can't even imagine..something like this - my biggest fears in life...

You've been there for 30 yrs.. in this time..you have seen how your company/ co-workers handle such situations, their giving, their reaching out..... you mentioned how you have always donated yourself..

It's only human nature to Compare how others have been treated in a similar situation....it would be different if let's say.. they didn't Do for others or take a collection ...so I assume they have in the past... 

It's so easy to say we'll pray for you..we see this constantly on Fb.. I try to not even use those words.. because it's so common and rings rather hollow to me -from the majority.. it really IS our actions in a crisis that speaks... 

Whomever has reached out to you -with their presence ...giving in a time of need...outside of your work place.. do you have family / friends who've been there.. cried with you.. prayed with you.. call you up , wanting to help you through..visiting your son with you?

I hope you have this during this time.. these are your supporters... your work place has fallen short on this one..

People will fail us..it sucks though.. this is true.. all we can do is try to be better people..you've been that better person in the past...please don't allow others to steal this from you.. Your are a devoted faithful caring loving Mother , your son is very blessed to have you there for him...


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