# Research on OW



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

So I have always held women to a higher standard then I do men. Sad I know. From all the stories on here and other forums it is always made out to be that the MM initiates and pursues the OW. Boy was that so off the mark. I created a fake male profile on a website using my husband's age (mid 30s)and the status being married to see what kind of responses he would get. I am flabergasted.  I have seen IMs and pending request from a ton of women from age 22-50, some single and some divorced. The funny part is when they say that their men have cheated on them but the are looking for fun. Wholly cow, I have had my eyes opened wide.


----------



## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

My OW was pretty much the pursuer in our wonderful trip into the world of infidelity.


----------



## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Before you get all excited, you should realize that most, if not all, of those responses are spam. You will be invited to look at "her" web page and join another "dating" or "cam" site.

Not saying women aren't interested in stepping out, just take those responses with a grain of salt or two.


----------



## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

My Hs OW went out of her way to get her claws into him. She is married with 2 kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

When my husband cheated on me and I found out I flirted with the idea on line but I never followed through. My user name was badarmywife lol. I was wanting to get a handle on this world I had theretofore been blissfully unaware of. I was :-o that it existed to the extent that it does. I realized how stupidly naive I had been about the world. People really do hook up for sex. Married people. I mean, I knew this, in theory, but not in practice. I needed to see for myself how true it was.


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> Before you get all excited, you should realize that most, if not all, of those responses are spam. You will be invited to look at "her" web page and join another "dating" or "cam" site.
> 
> Not saying women aren't interested in stepping out, just take those responses with a grain of salt or two.


I figured that some of them are. Probably trying to get a guy to pay for sex chats and such. But damn the immediate responses when I log in are astounding.


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

Um, yeah, that's why there are websites devoted to this, like the one who advertises: "Life is short, have an affair".

Let's not let anyone off easy in this one though. The WS is the one who made the vow and owns the decision they made. 

It's also easy as a single young woman to be all caught up with an older married man who tells you all of his woes and how you've made him feel alive again. Especially when he showers you with all sorts of attention, takes you on all sorts of trips and starts talking about your 'future together'. 

Yeah, I got all wrapped up in that in my early 20's - thought he was sincere. My friend knew better, told me to 'test' it by telling him I was moving to the city he lived in. It ended almost immediately when he got a mental picture of me running around the same city as his wife. Reality check for me.


----------



## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

I got married the first time kinda young and was surprised at the number of offers i recieved constantly when i started wearing a wedding ring than before actually i was shocked to say the least


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

TCSRedhead said:


> Um, yeah, that's why there are websites devoted to this, like the one who advertises: "Life is short, have an affair".
> 
> Let's not let anyone off easy in this one though. The WS is the one who made the vow and owns the decision they made.
> 
> ...


I guess I am just floored that women and men do not think that a married person is off limits.


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

In_The_Wind said:


> I got married the first time kinda young and was surprised at the number of offers i recieved constantly when i started wearing a wedding ring than before actually i was shocked to say the least


My husband told me the same thing. A wedding ring has never been a turn on for me. In fact I always have the men at the bar show me theirs. I can even tell them what it is made of. It is amazing how much respect I get from them when they know I am married with kids and can still have fun without crossing lines.


----------



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Alot of those messages, as somebody said, are spam. They are tricks to get you to open other sites, etc.

My H had a bare minimum profile on one of those sites, no picture, hardly any info and I saw some of the emails that came from that..they were like..I like your picture, you are hot..ummmm there is no picture? So that tells you that the emails are pretty much fake and computer generated.


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

highwood said:


> Alot of those messages, as somebody said, are spam. They are tricks to get you to open other sites, etc.
> 
> My H had a bare minimum profile on one of those sites, no picture, hardly any info and I saw some of the emails that came from that..they were like..I like your picture, you are hot..ummmm there is no picture? So that tells you that the emails are pretty much fake and computer generated.


That is just it...there is no picture and no reference to a picture. Just women trying to instant message everytime I log on. I guess they figure since a MM is on there he is looking for it.


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> I guess I am just floored that women and men do not think that a married person is off limits.


I am surprised there's a whole website devoted to affairs but it does show that there is a market.

The WH I was involved with never wore his ring or referenced his marriage until we had been seeing each other for a few months. Then it was the 'we're separating', 'we're divorcing', 'I don't even sleep in the same room' BS story.


----------



## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

...nothing phases me anymore...nothing.


----------



## KanDo (Jun 15, 2011)

Chris Taylor said:


> Before you get all excited, you should realize that most, if not all, of those responses are spam. You will be invited to look at "her" web page and join another "dating" or "cam" site.
> 
> Not saying women aren't interested in stepping out, just take those responses with a grain of salt or two.


Sorry to disagree, but absolutely incorrect. As a separated online dater, I had more women approaching me than I could make time to see. And I am not talking about come see my website or email me a naked picture. I'm talking about getting together for a glass of wine and date two wanting to have me for breakfast! As some may know, my STBXW hacked my profile and even put in a line on my profile that said "I am still in love with my wife and trying to work it out with her" and I got several emails from woman telling me that was great let's get together! I was floored!


----------



## stillcoping (Oct 14, 2012)

I don't see the point of trolling dating sites on purpose and then get surprised by the result when you're dealing with freaks all over the internet, of all places.


----------



## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

so once my H was at work and outside his office two women were talking and this was the conversation-

woman 1: So and so is hot
woman 2: yeah but he's married
woman1: so.
woman 2: so?
woman1: Yeah, it like the married ones. Its a bigger challenge. Its fun.......

Yep. she said that loud enough to be heard. I have spent the past year of my life saying "what the hell is wrong with women these days?"


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

The surprise was me being wrong in thinking that women had more respect for marriage. I was hoping to prove that most OW were right in that the men pursued him.


----------



## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> The surprise was me being wrong in thinking that women had more respect for marriage. I was hoping to prove that most OW were right in that the men pursued him.


I can tell you from both sides that neither MEN nor WOMEN are unique in this aspect. 

I still hold the position that the WS is the one that took the vows and has the obligation to uphold them. It's a choice to engage in an affair.


----------



## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

underwater2010 said:


> I guess I am just floored that women and men do not think that a married person is off limits.


Well, girl WS cheated with knew he was married and had two very small children. He even had her on his old MySpace while posting pics of me and our children. Nice. Three other girls I suspect, one in which he has admitted was an EA all knew he was married, had children. I'm amazed by this. The lack of morals out there is unbelievable. I just always knew a married man with kids was off limits, even growing up. And I'm sure even despite our hell if you asked my girls now they would still say a married man is not supposed to see other women. Kids understand what a marriage is.


----------



## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

canttrustu said:


> so once my H was at work and outside his office two women were talking and this was the conversation-
> 
> woman 1: So and so is hot
> woman 2: yeah but he's married
> ...


Interesting. I've been told of a similar conversation. Although I hate to think of anyone else enduring this pain I hope karma comes and bites these girls in the butt in a big, big way.


----------



## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

In this day and age of disposable marriages, people just don't care like they used to. People say they feel entitled because they only live once, so why not? In another life, I subscribed to that line of thinking, although I knew at the time that it was pretty shallow. I realize now, that although I woulndn't have thought it at the time, that way of thinking is hardly the minority.

As for women who think it's fun and challenging to go after a married man, those have always been around. There are just more of them now...particularly the ones who get ****ed around by men all their lives and set out for the lifestyle of revenge-phucking anything that moves.


----------



## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> In this day and age of disposable marriages, people just don't care like they used to. People say they feel entitled because they only live once, so why not? In another life, I subscribed to that line of thinking, although I knew at the time that it was pretty shallow. I realize now, that although I woulndn't have thought it at the time, that way of thinking is hardly the minority.
> 
> As for women who think it's fun and challenging to go after a married man, those have always been around. There are just more of them now...particularly the ones who get ****ed around by men all their lives and set out for the lifestyle of revenge-phucking anything that moves.


Oh I realize they've always been around- my point was she was aDMITTING to this in the middle of an office. Thats the blatant lack of morality I was trying to express here. I mean being a ***** is the oldest profession, we all know that. But these *women* are doing it for sh*ts and giggles, not money. (most of them anyway arent getting sugar daddies)

So I was just saying that its acceptable to say this and still have friends apparently. But I will tell you this- IF a *woman* ever said such a thing to me- that would be a serious misstep on her part.


----------



## Ryan_sa (May 8, 2012)

I got this email today, I've never joined a dating site, and am hardly ever on forums, but its just scary.
I just cant understand the first paragraph! The rest seems to describe the fog that people here have to deal with. (I've deleted the name cause I don't want to advertise for them.)

"If you're married and DO NOT want to get divorced but are interested in having an affair, then we want you to understand that You are NOT alone!


There are thousands of married people in your city that feel the same way that you do.

This is why you need to join the xxxxxxxxxxx Dating Agency that was created for married people that want to have an affair without getting caught.


If you join the xxxxxxxxxxxxx Dating Agency you will be able to have sexual relationships with other married women or men that DO NOT want to get divorced, but want to have a discreet affair without being caught.

After you have an affair you will feel ALIVE and HAPPY once again...You'll feel like you did when you were single and dating new people. In fact, you may start feeling like working on your marriage again to make it better...You just need that spark again in your life that only someone new can give you.

Go here if you are interested in learning more:
http://relatxxxxxxxxxxp?194721+xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


If you're not married and reading this message, then you can also join the ****** ******* Dating Agency to meet married people that would love to have a sexual relationship with you.


Listen, we understand that you're worried about getting caught and possibly getting divorced, but if you join today you'll see how easy it is to stay married and enjoy multiple affairs with many people.

You don't have to pay anything to join today...just check it out and see what you think."


----------



## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Ryan_sa said:


> I got this email today, I've never joined a dating site, and am hardly ever on forums, but its just scary.
> I just cant understand the first paragraph! The rest seems to describe the fog that people here have to deal with. (I've deleted the name cause I don't want to advertise for them.)
> 
> "If you're married and DO NOT want to get divorced but are interested in having an affair, then we want you to understand that You are NOT alone!
> ...


What the hell is the world coming to? Why get married? Seriously. There's no law requiring it. There's no law requiring you to stay married. Do your spouse a FAVOR- Divorce them and have yourself a good time and let them move on to the person they deserve. AARGGHHHH!


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

Herd mentality......If most of the people are doing it....you should too. There is no longer any blame if everyone is having an affair. And look...we make it easy. 

Just pay $xx.xx/month and you can be hit on by 20 something bimbo that have not birthed your kids. Just think no stretch marks, no nagging about help with cleaning and no screaming kids. Just give up any extra money that might have payed for camp or sports and she will tell you how handsome you are without realizing that you fart, burp and forget to shower some days.

Or how about...Just pay $xx.xx/month and you can be hit on a man with a 9 inch member, no kids, no job, felony record and lives at home with mom and dad. But don't forget that he will make sure to tell you that you are beautiful, that yoga pants are sexy and hey I would love a BJ because it is so satisfing for you.


----------



## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

canttrustu said:


> Oh I realize they've always been around- my point was she was aDMITTING to this in the middle of an office. Thats the blatant lack of morality I was trying to express here. I mean being a ***** is the oldest profession, we all know that. But these *women* are doing it for sh*ts and giggles, not money. (most of them anyway arent getting sugar daddies)
> 
> So I was just saying that its acceptable to say this and still have friends apparently. But I will tell you this- IF a *woman* ever said such a thing to me- that would be a serious misstep on her part.


You know what they say, 'birds of a feather' or something like that...likely all of this girl's friends are the same way (sadly).

I have more respect for wh0res, in a way, at least they're not doing it for free (or for sh!ts and giggles).


----------



## underwater2010 (Jun 27, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> You know what they say, 'birds of a feather' or something like that...likely all of this girl's friends are the same way (sadly).
> 
> I have more respect for wh0res, in a way, at least they're not doing it for free (or for sh!ts and giggles).


That is exactly how I explained the difference between a ***** and a **** to my daughter!!!


----------



## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

underwater2010 said:


> Herd mentality......If most of the people are doing it....you should too. There is no longer any blame if everyone is having an affair. And look...we make it easy.
> 
> Just pay $xx.xx/month and you can be hit on by 20 something bimbo that have not birthed your kids. Just think no stretch marks, no nagging about help with cleaning and no screaming kids. Just give up any extra money that might have payed for camp or sports and she will tell you how handsome you are without realizing that you fart, burp and forget to shower some days.
> 
> Or how about...Just pay $xx.xx/month and you can be hit on a man with a 9 inch member, no kids, no job, felony record and lives at home with mom and dad. But don't forget that he will make sure to tell you that you are beautiful, that yoga pants are sexy and hey I would love a BJ because it is so satisfing for you.


God! that damned ego.... sigh.


----------



## thesunwillcomeout (Jun 25, 2012)

Jeez -- How do I follow up on all of THAT? (I'm lovin' the hen party, and am biting my tongue to not get in there and throw in my two bit on the scam artists -- cuz that's what they are. Any person who presents themselves to be something they're NOT to conquer or steal someone else's partner. But for the willing participant....)

N-e-way...I was gonna say that even though my husband started the semi-flirty exchange mentioning in an office email how the future OW had been chastised in court by a Judge for wearing an innapropriately short skirt, that the OW was the one who started the fishing for flattery. My husband was also the one who started dropping mentioning me in emails first no longer using the "We" when she asked him questions but responding in terms of just "I" -- like I was no longer part of the picture unless he was covering the kids for me. BUT she was the one who started texting him. Started IM'ing him in the office. Started telling him he was brilliant. Bringing him coffee. The vast majority of texts, emails and phone calls (not all) began and ended with her. But if he had been impervious to her crush it would've never happened. She was pretty persistent. Even after he told her it had to stop... They were both complicit but she was tenacious


----------



## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

thesunwillcomeout said:


> Jeez -- How do I follow up on all of THAT? (I'm lovin' the hen party, and am biting my tongue to not get in there and throw in my two bit on the scam artists -- cuz that's what they are. Any person who presents themselves to be something they're NOT to conquer or steal someone else's partner. But for the willing participant....)
> 
> N-e-way...I was gonna say that even though my husband started the semi-flirty exchange mentioning in an office email how the future OW had been chastised in court by a Judge for wearing an innapropriately short skirt, that the OW was the one who started the fishing for flattery. My husband was also the one who started dropping mentioning me in emails first no longer using the "We" when she asked him questions but responding in terms of just "I" -- like I was no longer part of the picture unless he was covering the kids for me. BUT she was the one who started texting him. Started IM'ing him in the office. Started telling him he was brilliant. Bringing him coffee. The vast majority of texts, emails and phone calls (not all) began and ended with her. But if he had been impervious to her crush it would've never happened. She was pretty persistent.* Even after he told her it had to stop... They were both complicit but she was tenacious*


alot of people like being able to say that they "had to" respond. That they couldn't be rude....... it frees them from responsibility.


----------



## hurtingbadly (Sep 14, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> alot of people like being able to say that they "had to" respond. That they couldn't be rude....... it frees them from responsibility.


Ha! Once my WS told me he didn't want to ruin the mood. WTH?!? Didn't want to ruin the mood for some s*&t, but ruin his wife's happiness in life? OK...


----------



## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

hurtingbadly said:


> Ha! Once my WS told me he didn't want to ruin the mood. WTH?!? Didn't want to ruin the mood for some s*&t, but ruin his wife's happiness in life? OK...


Its amazing the way they 'explain' things, eh?

My H once said he was worried about "hurting her feelings" for not having lunch with her......He told me this while I had not slept in nearly 3 days. Hurting her feelings was primary in his head, he had NOT ONE thought for what he was doing to ME. Not one. Admittedly. 

He said he took me off the pedastool and put her on.... Ouch.
Alot of damage done for some woman he scantly knew. Permanant damage. 

Unbelieveable the things they say.


----------

