# Crushed are you alright



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

We are concerned about you. Please reply


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

Yes, please respond and let us know you are ok!


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## CrushedInNY (May 24, 2009)

I'm very sorry that I upset anyone here. 
I was in the hospital briefly, I actually did go out that evening and was planning on ending my life, but the police found me minutes before that happened, and legally they had to take me to get evaluated. I wasn't there very long, I convinced them that me being committed for weeks, like they wanted to do with me, would kill me, not help me. Since I have no PTO at my job since I've only been there less than 3 months, I wouldn't earn any pay, might get fired, wouldn't be able to pay rent, then I'd be evicted and homeless, so they let me go.
For now, since it was pretty random that the police found me, I'm choosing to believe what a multi suicide attempt person told me, in that it means I'm still supposed to be alive.


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

Crushed I read that post, and have thought of you many times since. I am surprised and pleased now to find that you are still alive. And have chosen to believe that you are meant to be.

I don't really know what else to say, as I don't want to minimalise your situation. Just try to get out and be with people. It is hard I know.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

The caring, love and concern of those who intervened is just the tip of the iceberg. Now that you are tapped into it, just hold onto it and follow that. It's like a string that Theseus used to get out of the Labyrinth after slaying the Minotaur. 

Theseus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

There are loads of scary and horrible things in the world, and sometimes it seems easier just to give in to that, but it only takes one tiny little flame to eradicate the whole of darkness. When you feel low, find the string or look for even the tiniest of flame. Think back of acts of kindness and love given to you without any reservations, even if they are seem to be sparse, with some thought over time, you can put them together to become the status quo...it's a sort of 'memory, meet memory...you, negative memory, get out of the way...like one of those plastic squares kids play with that have the pieces all scrambled up and have to be put right. 

I am sorry that you went through this, and are not in a position right now to take inpatient care. It seems as though you are willing to go the distance for yourself in terms of keeping the logistics of your life squared away...so I also think that if you did need to let that all go and take inpatient care, you would. In our state, we have a very good inpatient psych hospital that is free for people who don't have ability to pay, and it is partnered and run by a medical school that has excellent psych care and research/development facilities. Not saying you should move to our state, but please don't make assumptions that free necessarily means bottom of the heap in terms of care. Some of the most caring, most dedicated, well-educated and connected people in terms of resources and continued progressive care for discharged and outpatients work in public service. It is their nature to do so. These are the kind of people who will give you the care you need clinically but also put their hearts into it. You can't pay for that with earnings from a job, and sometimes that is the point. Even amongst the services offered by the psych community in our state, is job placement and life services, mentoring, educational opportunities, etc. 

I hope that each day for the rest of your life, you will have your hand on the string, at least the tiniest of flame, and the fortitude and courage that come with love (not the romantic kind, but the kind that is universal).


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

crushed: I go to therapy and I am in group therapy. Its cost is $10 for both sessions. It is sliding scale depending on income. Look into therapy, it will help you alot if you are willing to work at it.

Don't fool yourself, you are worth fighting for. Perhaps, doing some volunteer work may help you. Just getting out of yourself. It may give you the perspective you need.

But don't give up. It always gets better.

So glad you're back in the land of the living. Now it is time to make something of that second chance you were given! 

Seize the day.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Crushed I am glad to see your words on here. Your story has touched many of us and as much as someone can on a internet forum, there are more than a few of us who genuinely care about you and value your life. Already your words on here have helped me to learn more about myself, that there is a meaning of life is, how friggin hard it can be, and that we not only have a right to be here but that we BELONG here.


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## welderjoe87 (Aug 5, 2011)

i need someone to talk to..me and my ex wife have been split for two years..and every time i talk to her when she picks my kid up..its like she is stabbing me....i was messing around on fb and i ran across one of our old pictures from our wedding day..and i just started balling..plz someone help me..how do i cope with this feeling..can someone talk to me


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

welderjoe87 said:


> i need someone to talk to..me and my ex wife have been split for two years..and every time i talk to her when she picks my kid up..its like she is stabbing me....i was messing around on fb and i ran across one of our old pictures from our wedding day..and i just started balling..plz someone help me..how do i cope with this feeling..can someone talk to me


Welderjoe, can I ask what ended your relationship?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## justbroken (Aug 6, 2011)

*welderjoe*

i don't even know you, but i am sure, completely sure, you are worthy of love. 

i so, so wish you did not have to suffer.

is there any comfort in knowing that a total stranger is thinking of you? i don't know. but if there is, please take it. please.


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