# blues, depression and codependency ?



## Luther (Mar 7, 2013)

Just woke up, go to work at 9am, yup retired but still work, more now than before it would seem. thought that I would check here see what if any replies there were, none. So guess that leaves me with me, not really different I guess.

When I left went to Omaha, talked to her there more than in the last 15yrs every morning every afternoon. could set my watch by it. Always saying she missed me or needing something. I helped a lot with things when asked. had a one room share the bath place. Even got cell phones for her and daughter, still do have for all this time. finally she wanted me to come home, turns out her little buddies dumped her.

So moved back got my stuff out of storage, went back arrived in the afternoon, next morning we were on the deck talking and i really thought that she was changing. Then my daughter still living there went postal on her for talking without her and pretty much shot down anything that was there, the following day I moved again, daughter didn't want me there. but stayed closer as requested by wife 30 miles away so she could see me. she helped move me in then i saw her one more time then nothing, so after 6 months back to Omaha.


Finally after all the yrs she wanted me to come back again said she wanted to start over take it a day at a time i said ok was not excited but always try. came back stayed with daughter for six months to help them out, wife wanted me to and i don't mind helping the kids. she said after that to move back then. so i did and i did get to sleep in the bed for a couple of months over Christmas. thinking things were ok i started doing thing again and trying to start over. Then one day after being kicked to the couch for a while I asked her about the starting over, her reply was " I never said that all I said was room mates, thought it would be cheaper for you to live here" for me? cheaper for her maybe with me paying stuff and keepin me broke again so i stayed an slept on the couch till the house came up in November, then i left again. 


feel like i am just being used nothing more, but it has taken a toll on me mentally and physically and i am lost. anyway i will take my leave now and go about my business as i think that others here maybe have more issues than myself, and feel alone here as well. don't know why so many read an no one answered but that's ok i am use to it. my destiny as it were.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I don't know why people wouldn't leave a message after reading your post either? I hadn't planned on posting anything for a while, just wanted to lurk. But when I read your post and saw that two days had passed and no one had replied... I'm sorry about that happening to you.

Your post seems to be filled with emotion, sadness and maybe a little or a lot lost. I'm not terribly clear on your relationship history, but from what you've posted it does appear that you haven't been treated very well by your ex or daughter, and that definitely hurts. Is it your daughter, her daughter? Why is she so angry with you?

I wanted to ask if you are involved in any activities outside of work? Do you belong to a club, play a sport, volunteer somewhere? Your post suggested you are feeling adrift and not having anything specifically to anchor you. Finding worthwhile activities where you can connect with other people based on common interest can really help you to feel less isolated. Do you have anything like that happening? If not, how do you feel about finding and exploring your interests and passions?


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## Luther (Mar 7, 2013)

Just answered another reply, most of how i feel is there but needed to answer you. she is my daughter as far as i am concerned but she is not mine in that she is the product of an affair, to answer your question. My daughter is that was because of her mother and the lies that have been told to her. outside of work don't do much stay home much as i can, being in crowds is hard for me hard to breath and its having to smile when you want to cry its just hard to be out so stay in as much as possible. I do keep a journal in the morning with coffee am up by 4am if i sleep at all, the morning is the high point of my day. I am open to finding and exploring other interests and passions if I could. thank you for your caring reply means a lot as do the other replies as at least i know someone cares if i am here


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