# Mothers that don't pay child support.



## Quadronos (Apr 13, 2016)

So I posted another thread about a separate issue regarding my 15 year old daughter about leaving for another man 2 years prior. Fortunately for the moment that has been resolved but as alluded to in the topic there is an issue where the mother won't pay her CS.

Now I am not making this topic to debate about who pays CS more or any of that, but just stating the facts and looking for advice.

Daughters mother has been asked to pay CS for the past 2 years yet does not. I have taken the legal route but I just keep hearing they will look into it. I have also looked online and found mothers that don't pay CS are quite rarely, if ever punished and it down right ****** me off. Now I don't want to turn this into a debate about fathers that don't or what have you, but it really gets me that if I were the one not paying they'd either start garnishing my wages or have me in jail in a new york minute yet in this case since it's the mother it's all up in the air. 

Not that I can't adequately support my daughter as is, but it's the principal of the matter and regardless of how common/uncommon it may be for mothers to be the ones to pay CS they should be treated just the same. But the legal system has kept dragging its feet and I am getting so tired of it! Any men here been in a similar position?


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

There are some things that simply aren't equal, for both sides, no matter how hard lawmakers and bureaucrats may try.

Sucks, brother.

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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

What do you mean the legal system has been dragging its feet? Where do you live?

It should be as simple as sitting down with the official person, looking at wages, etc., plugging it all into a calculator and garnishing her wages if she owes child support.


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## DDudley14 (Apr 12, 2016)

Quad,

A friend of mine has a story about his Ex and CS that I hope will encourage you. 

For reference, this happened in the state of GA. 

Friend has 3 kids from his previous marriage, 2 teenage boys and a 1 girl. Friend is retired military and the Ex was set to go to her last overseas duty station before retiring as well. They have shared/joint custody with the ex as the primary caregiver. 

The ex takes all 3 kids with her to Korea with prior court approval. Less than 6 months into this new stationing, she calls friend and asks if daughter can come back home and stay with him as she is having a hard time adjusting. He says it's fine, daughter stays with him for the next 3 years. 

After the first year away, ex calls again. This time the oldest son(15) needs to come live with him as he had gotten in trouble with the local authorities and was being deported back to the US. Friend has son live with him the next 2 1/2 yrs, finishing high school and going to college. 

Late in year 2, younger son calls and wants to come home as he hates being overseas. He stays with friend through high school as well. 

We now have all 3 living with dad for at least 2 + yrs at this point. Ex returns at the end of 4 yrs and starts the process of retirement from the military. Daughter goes to live with mom while the boys stay with dad to finish high school. 

6 months after her return, he receives notice from the state that he is being taken to court for back CS not paid during her deployment. He goes to DFACS (dept. of family and children) with all records showing his kids have been in his custody for the last 3 yrs. DFACS says they will look into it. 6 more months go by, and he gets word from the state (DFACS) that they will be garnishing his wages and revoking his license for non-payment of CS. Friend retains and attorney and finally gets his court date that DFACS should have set up a year ago.

Fast forward 3 months to court, friend and his attorney give the judge all of the kids records from school showing where they lived with him for over 3 years along with medical and insurance records. 

Judge looks through all of it and proceeds to rip into the DFACS workers for not doing their jobs, then rips into the ex for wasting his time and taxpayers dollars. In the end friend is awarded $8,000 in back CS from ex and she had to pay all of his attorney fees and court costs. 

I don't know which state you live in, but know that there are some states that will go after deadbeat moms too. I don't know if you have an attorney or not, but getting one sure helped speed up the process for my friend. I would suggest you get one if you don't have one already. 

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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I have found during my tireless hours of reseaching this topic (that I to face) that mother's usually don't pay child support and father's are usually expected by the court to pay for everything whether at fault for the divorce or not. The courts don't treat mothers and father as equals.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

In my state it's pretty cut and dried. Income from both parties and the # of overnights at both residences. If income is equal and time is equal, noone pays anything. If one makes 25% and the other makes 75% and the child is equal times at both residences, then the 75% earner would pay the other 25% of the calculated support amount. The calculator doesn't even have gender, just custodial parent and non-custodial parent or in 50/50 parent 1 and parent 2. 

Use the system and push that wage garnishing right along. If she has the earning power and has been ordered, enforce the order.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

EnjoliWoman said:


> In my state it's pretty cut and dried. Income from both parties and the # of overnights at both residences. If income is equal and time is equal, noone pays anything. If one makes 25% and the other makes 75% and the child is equal times at both residences, then the 75% earner would pay the other 25% of the calculated support amount. The calculator doesn't even have gender, just custodial parent and non-custodial parent or in 50/50 parent 1 and parent 2.
> 
> Use the system and push that wage garnishing right along. If she has the earning power and has been ordered, enforce the order.


Same here. 

And, I have a female friend in another state who pays her ex child support based on this calculation.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Same here. I'm not sure what legal routes you've taken. If you have an agreement, seek to enforce it. If you don't have one, go to your state's child support enforcement services. They can help.

There is more that you can do besides ask and wait-it really depends.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Support enforcement here is a joke. Gender makes no difference. I can't tell you how many women and men I know who are owed child support and have yet to see a dime even when the state claims they're "looking into it".

My exH owes a total of over $200,000 in child support for his 4 children, two from before and two from his marriage to me. He's never paid. He gets garnished every few years or so if one or more of us mothers push it, but before the first garnishment comes out of his check he quits that job. If my DH wasn't willing to raise and support two kids that weren't biologically his, I'd have been totally financially screwed and my kids would have done without.


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