# Am I really so bad?



## christmaslady (Dec 21, 2009)

I have ended my relationship to the point that my ex and I no longer speak. It was not my option to never speak again, but I respect his apparent decision and I am not chasing anyone to be around me. He has moved his girlfriend and her daughter (him and his girlfriend bought a house) around the corner from my house. While I still don't understand his throught process etc., that is not really an issue (right now). 

What I don't understand. Is he is talking bad about me and telling people that I am still chasing and wanting to be with him etc. He is saying that he told me to F off and go live my life (which he never did; as a matter of fact our last conversation, he indicated that his phone was going dead (I'm sure it was a lie) and that he would contact me when it came back up and that I could call him later). 

To hear the things he is saying and the way in which they are being said/intended, I don't understand. He did the dirt and didn't want to talk to me and now I am the bad one? I have gone through the thoughts of regretting loving him (which I really don't regret it; love is pure emotion to me and I am glad I had the opportunity, I just wish he had felt it more and that he had that same love for me, but again, that is a mute point); I have accepted the reality of us never being together again (I think this is mutual on both sides at this point and has been for a while); I don't need him as a friend (realized it wasn't really like that anyway)...but I don't understand why he feels the need to talk this way about me when all I did was love him (a bit of drama in the end but nothing a lil communication could not have fixed). 

His children still are cool with me, even though we do not talk (I gave them an option and let them know my door was always open but I was not going to maintain a relationship with them if 1. they didn't want it and 2. it ever made them feel uncomfortable. His youngest son has just invited me to his high school graduation; which due to my excitement I automatically accepted. That happens Monday...we will see how that works out. 

I am a ball of emotional confusion..I don't know if anyone has any thoughts from this. If so, I would love to hear them. If not, thanks all the same for listening.


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## rider03 (Apr 7, 2009)

You can't control what he's going to say. Let it roll off your shoulder and move forward. People will know the truth sooner or later. I have a similar concern when my divorce is final...will my wife say "I never wanted to divorce but he insisited" to everyone? When in reality, she gave me little choice?

You sound pretty laid back about this so I would imagine it's not goign to negatively affect you. People are people. Some good, some not so good.


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