# The silent game



## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

Today my girlfriend of two years talks to me at 10 in the morning and then goes dead silent fir rest of day. No reply to texts or calls. I go over to her apartment knock on the door and she won't answer even though I know she's there because her car is there. We have had no fight or anything like that. Finally after over six hours of no contact she text back that she's tired and sick. I reply back that she's too tired to even answer the phone or text back? 

So I'm asking the men out there does your girlfriend or wife to do this? My gal is very miserable about her work situation and it's just affecting everything. 

Does your gal go underground? I promise you if I ignored her for a day she would accuse me of cheating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Sounds like head games to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

Juvenile mind games.......


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## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

I agree guys. She is 47 years old. I've spoken to about this going underground thing many many times. God knows no woman is going to change unless they want to. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

jdesey said:


> Today my girlfriend of two years talks to me at 10 in the morning and then goes dead silent fir rest of day. No reply to texts or calls. I go over to her apartment knock on the door and she won't answer even though I know she's there because her car is there. We have had no fight or anything like that. Finally after over six hours of no contact she text back that she's tired and sick. I reply back that she's too tired to even answer the phone or text back?
> 
> So I'm asking the men out there does your girlfriend or wife to do this? My gal is very miserable about her work situation and it's just affecting everything.
> 
> ...


Is she actually your girlfriend? What did you do?

Add this to one of your many previous thread so people understand the context.


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## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

Yes she is currently my girlfriend. We have agreed that absolutely that we are exclusive and not dating others.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

My wife doesn't go underground....she has been known to put her phone on silent and forget its on silent or leave it somewhere and have to back-track. She will do the same thing with her radio on job-sites from time to time. I've been riding in the car with her and have one of her crew call me wondering where she is.....she'll pull out her phone and have a dozen missed calls and texts. 

Not answering the door though....VERY different story. 

Could she have actually been sick...asleep...something like that?


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

Jesus F*cking Christ! Do you ever stop! She booted your azz out. She called the police on you! Quit stalking this girl and get a life! She isn't your girlfriend! She is probably terrified of you.


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## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

She could very well be asleep. Or sick. But now it's hours later. Basically she shuts me out like this when she's upset. This is all about her crap job. I re did her resume and printed out 15 jobs for her to go apply today and tomorrow on her days off. She asked for my help. 

Also. These are the only 2 days per week we can spend any decent time together. 

To me it just makes it feel like I'm not a priority. That our relationship is not a priority. 

Or maybe I'm just being a big wuss. 

I swear women are so frustrating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Dude, what is up with all this? Why don't you just go get a girl that answers your texts or calls, and wants you like a desert wants the rain? 
This one is making you crazy.
Give her up. There's lots out there. Even OLDating people will treat you better. 
She's really not your gf, or you wouldn't have these questions. Either she's a nut, you're a nut, you're both nuts, or she's making you nuts. Either way, nuttiness abounds with this.
Get out of it. It's not worth it. And you banging on her door when she doesn't answer texts is just over the limit of normalcy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

Yes you're right. It's all very nuts. 
One thing I know for sure is that this relationship has been constant struggle. No relationship should be this hard. Whether it's a friendship or a child or a girlfriend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Ynot said:


> Jesus F*cking Christ! Do you ever stop! She booted your azz out. She called the police on you! Quit stalking this girl and get a life! She isn't your girlfriend! She is probably terrified of you.


Is this accurate? 

Damn


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

jdesey said:


> Today my girlfriend of two years talks to me at 10 in the morning and then goes dead silent fir rest of day. No reply to texts or calls. I go over to her apartment knock on the door and she won't answer even though I know she's there because her car is there. We have had no fight or anything like that. Finally after over six hours of no contact she text back that she's tired and sick. I reply back that she's too tired to even answer the phone or text back?
> 
> So I'm asking the men out there does your girlfriend or wife to do this? My gal is very miserable about her work situation and it's just affecting everything.
> 
> Does your gal go underground? I promise you if I ignored her for a day she would accuse me of cheating.


Why don't you do the decent thing and just leave her alone!


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

She was with her exhusband.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

MarriedDude said:


> Is this accurate?
> 
> Damn


Yes, she has booted him out several times. He badgers her until she allows him to move back in, then she boots him out again. Last time she had to call the cops. She broke off an engagement, says he is clingy and manipulative and refuses to have sex with him.
Read thru all of his posts. He just doesn't get it. He thinks he is destined to be with her, whether she likes it or not. I think she lives in fear of him. He needs real counseling. Instead he comes here day in and day out posting about various things, hoping he will find the key. Most people honestly respond to the specific without considering the whole situation. I am not responding out of anger or with malice but I instead in the hope that maybe he will get the message and understand it is time to move on and leave this woman in peace.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Ynot said:


> Yes, she has booted him out several times. He badgers her until she allows him to move back in, then she boots him out again. Last time she had to call the cops. She broke off an engagement, says he is clingy and manipulative and refuses to have sex with him.
> Read thru all of his posts. He just doesn't get it. He thinks he is destined to be with her, whether she likes it or not. I think she lives in fear of him. He needs real counseling. Instead he comes here day in and day out posting about various things, hoping he will find the key. Most people honestly respond to the specific without considering the whole situation. I am not responding out of anger or with malice but I instead in the hope that maybe he will get the message and understand it is time to move on and leave this woman in peace.


And now we have the rest of the story


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

jdesey said:


> She could very well be asleep. Or sick. But now it's hours later. Basically she shuts me out like this when she's upset. This is all about her crap job. I re did her resume and printed out 15 jobs for her to go apply today and tomorrow on her days off. She asked for my help.
> 
> Also. These are the only 2 days per week we can spend any decent time together.
> 
> ...


Not a ****ing priority!!!!!

You are making this woman miserable. You are being a wuss, by not facing up to how much you are hurting this woman because you cannot handle the thought that it is over.

She is not frustrating. You are. Do not turn this into a male female thing.

We are being blunt with you, but it seems necessary. I do not generally recommend counseling. For you, I would.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

If you had an opportunity to get into a relationship with another woman, would you jump for it or would you say 'no, I'm in a relationship'?

To me, it seems as though you are severely codependent and she is pretty much 'meh'. Don't pursue her and see if she comes around.

Gotta tell ya, you both sound like you could do with individual counseling because you both sound f'n nuts.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

I still suggest that you propose to her. If she says no, then move on. 

How hard is that to do?

If you do not think she is worth marrying, then stop trying to be with her.


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

Dude, you really need to boost your self respect by ditching the clingy behavior. Forget her. Get counseling. Realize that the stench of clingyness is girl repellent. Good luck.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> I still suggest that you propose to her. If she says no, then move on.
> 
> How hard is that to do?
> 
> If you do not think she is worth marrying, then stop trying to be with her.


He did propose to her. She gave him the ring back. The OP just doesn't get it that she doesn't want to be with him. He needs to let her go and move on. He needs to get into counseling yesterday.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Ynot said:


> He did propose to her. She gave him the ring back. The OP just doesn't get it that she doesn't want to be with him. He needs to let her go and move on. He needs to get into counseling yesterday.


I think he means again. Or like, 5 or 6 more times, and then average all the answers together. Then round up to "yes".


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

From what I have read on here she's trying to give you the strong message that she wants to be left alone. At least, by you.

There's other girls out there. 

This one is not for you.

Sorry!


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

jdesey said:


> Today my girlfriend of two years talks to me at 10 in the morning and then goes dead silent fir rest of day. No reply to texts or calls. I go over to her apartment knock on the door and she won't answer even though I know she's there because her car is there. We have had no fight or anything like that. Finally after over six hours of no contact she text back that she's tired and sick. I reply back that she's too tired to even answer the phone or text back?
> 
> So I'm asking the men out there does your girlfriend or wife to do this? My gal is very miserable about her work situation and it's just affecting everything.
> 
> ...


When I'm sick I unplug the phones so I'm not disturbed or woken up when I'm trying to recuperate. And no, I don't tell my husband I'm going to do it.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

jdesey said:


> Today my girlfriend of two years talks to me at 10 in the morning and then goes dead silent fir rest of day. No reply to texts or calls. I go over to her apartment knock on the door and she won't answer even though I know she's there because her car is there. We have had no fight or anything like that. Finally after over six hours of no contact she text back that she's tired and sick. I reply back that she's too tired to even answer the phone or text back?
> 
> So I'm asking the men out there does your girlfriend or wife to do this? My gal is very miserable about her work situation and it's just affecting everything.
> 
> ...


I've had girlfriends do that.

Not for long though.

Listen, you can offer help and support and if she wants space, give it to her.

But if she's going to go dark every time life gets hard... Don't marry her, that's for sure.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

She is passive-aggressive and this is her way to control. Silence gets you to react and play the game she wants- chase me but there will never be enough chase to make her happy and you will learn that her silence means that she is unhappy and without words you are to fix it. My husband was/is this way and I can tell you it can make you nuts. It looks innocent at first, she says she is sick and tired.....okay, but too sick to text back? Maybe she needs to be in the hospital. They then want to deny your relaity with justifications but this continues, they are never honest about what they are doing. The mistrust and lack of communication grows and you will always be clueless and at fault.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

MarriedDude said:


> And now we have the rest of the story


That sounds like stalker territory IMO.


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