# why was my thread deleted?



## jennifer1986

People that have hung around long enough can probably tell me, or the forum moderator. I have read several recent threads that I would like to comment but something is keeping me from sharing on this site again. 

My last thread was deleted out of nowhere, after one day. There was no banning, no warning, no explanation. it was a thread about threesomes, and there are plenty such threads. I did describe a threesome situation, but I read many people describe such scenarios. I had no intention to make my writing pornography and the most explicit I wrote was "someone giving my h pleasure down there while I was up there". The most subjective sentence I used was "honestly, it was really hot." This was meant to express how I felt about the situation and I have seen over and over again people saying someone or something was "hot". 

So, I would welcome any feedback. A thread that just vanishes without any notice seems like censorship. No one said my post was offensive in any ways. We were having healthy debates on a topic.


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## jennifer1986

certainly seems no one knows why....

then can the person that deleted it (I assume it has to be a moderator or higher, I do not know who since I do not spend that much time here) send me a message why? i would have pm'd you except i do not know who did it. 

never had a problem with cooking forum, language forum, any other forum. it's good to have a sex forum and talk about this important issue, but it's annoying to come back and find your thread gone just like that.


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## TBT

Maybe you can PM Chris H,the forum administrator or any of the mods available.Not sure,but maybe there's a way to solve your problem offered in the FAQ section. Good luck.


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## 827Aug

The basic rules of Sex in Marriage are as follows:


Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. *Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.*


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## Zatol Ugot?

I also had a thread deleted. I had posted a thread about a particular part of the male anatomy and asked women their opinions. I received over 120 replies and the conversation was very enlightening. I asked the exact same question but about a slightly different part of the anatomy and it started to receive replies. However, it was deleted within a day. When I sent an email inquiring why, I was referred to the rules/FAQ section to review. That was it. No explanation. 
Oh well.


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## sweetpea

Zatol.

Your thread was deleted because it didn't meet the sex section guidelines.

Sexual problems in marriage have been a common topic on Talk About Marriage, so we decided to make a special section for these types of discussion.

We have talked a lot about what kind of discussions to allow and not to allow regarding sex on Talk About Marriage. The goal is to encourage informative discussions, while at the same time offending the least amount of people possible. How do you do that when it comes to the issue of sex?

There doesn't seem to be an answer that is "clear as day" so far. Please bear with us as this new section develops.

This is what we have come up with after talking to mods and other members.

What is NOT Allowed: Anything that resembles pornography. This could be in the form of pictures, video, or just people posting sex stories. The purpose of this section is not to arouse others.

Posts or threads started just to explore fantasies or for similar reasons will be deleted.

What IS Allowed: Informative Q&A from people looking for help and those who wish to provide feedback. We realize that detailed descriptions are sometimes necessary to explain, and so we allow that. Visitors should be aware that they may encounter graphic discussions on sexuality in this section. 

If you are a person who is easily offended by discussions about sexuality or sex acts, you may not want to read posts in this section.

If threads in other sections become "sexuality related," moderators may move them here.


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## jaharthur

sweetpea said:


> Zatol.
> 
> Your thread was deleted because it didn't meet the sex section guidelines.
> 
> Sexual problems in marriage have been a common topic on Talk About Marriage, so we decided to make a special section for these types of discussion.
> 
> We have talked a lot about what kind of discussions to allow and not to allow regarding sex on Talk About Marriage. The goal is to encourage informative discussions, while at the same time offending the least amount of people possible. How do you do that when it comes to the issue of sex?
> 
> There doesn't seem to be an answer that is "clear as day" so far. Please bear with us as this new section develops.
> 
> This is what we have come up with after talking to mods and other members.
> 
> What is NOT Allowed: Anything that resembles pornography. This could be in the form of pictures, video, or just people posting sex stories. The purpose of this section is not to arouse others.
> 
> Posts or threads started just to explore fantasies or for similar reasons will be deleted.
> 
> What IS Allowed: Informative Q&A from people looking for help and those who wish to provide feedback. We realize that detailed descriptions are sometimes necessary to explain, and so we allow that. Visitors should be aware that they may encounter graphic discussions on sexuality in this section.
> 
> If you are a person who is easily offended by discussions about sexuality or sex acts, you may not want to read posts in this section.
> 
> If threads in other sections become "sexuality related," moderators may move them here.


That's just a repetition of the guidelines posted at

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/2459-sex-section-rules-please-read-first.html#post19540

I don't think I ever read the OP's thread so I can't give an opinion on _*how *_it violated these rules, which I think is the OP's question.


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## sweetpea

I did answer the question.

The thread did't ask a question about sex so it was deleted.


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## Joey_

I recently had a thread deleted as well. I did not specifically ask a question, mine was more of what I had done to deal with a problem that I had asked about a few weeks ago (Clinical Sex). I thought that since I went into graphic detail in an example of how I was dealing with the issue, it was considered pornagraphic, but I see many explicit posts on here....so it was probably because I did not explicitly ask a question or let it be known that I was giving advice on a particular topic. I would have thought that all of this could be inferred just by looking at my posting history.


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## that_girl

I wish they would delete the topics that talk about tasting one's fluids. So nasty and graphic and I'm NOT a prude.


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## jennifer1986

827Aug said:


> The basic rules of Sex in Marriage are as follows:
> 
> 
> Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. *Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.*


That does not answer my question. I did not violate any of those rules. I was asking opinions about threesomes, and many people have asked such questions. I backed up my position with some details that are not graphic, and may people have done that. If you have to SPECIFICALLY ask for HELP, then 1/2 of the threads here should be deleted. There are many threads that solicit opinions, elicit discussions, and they were not deleted. 
I think your rule is not consistent, and I will try to contact the forum administrator. Besides, the threads should at least be deleted in a way that's "invisible" perhaps, but the initial postor can still see it and understand what the problem is or if it needs modification. Unless something is an obvious violation, spam, personal attack, etc, I think it should be handled that way. Or was I wrong, we are not dealing with internet in US, but China?


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## Almostrecovered

Sweetpea is an admin (wife of ChrisH)

And last I saw comparisons to Chinese government got the last poster banned


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## jennifer1986

Almostrecovered said:


> Sweetpea is an admin (wife of ChrisH)
> 
> And last I saw comparisons to Chinese government got the last poster banned


(1) I still never got my question answered, she did not say why my thread was a violation and I already stated why I did not violate any rules.
(2) that's pathetic someone would be banned based on that. I am shocked.


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## Almostrecovered

So comparing the ownership to a dictatorship is acceptable behavior? I don't think so


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## that_girl

Their website, their rules. We're not paying for it.


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## sweetpea

Jennifer, 

I wasn't responding to your post when I was replying. I haven't looked at your threads so i can't answer your question. 

This is a privately owned website. We have forum guidelines and we will delete posts that don't meet the guidelines. You agree to abide by the rules when you post on this site. 

Please pm a mod if you wish to discuss your thread further but comparing this website to China doesn't seem a smart way to get your answers.


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## Chris H.

I revised the sex section rules today to make them a little clearer.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/2459-sex-section-rules-please-read-first.html#post19540

Hopefully this helps. If you don't like the rules in that section, *please, don't post there. *

The rules this site has, and the way we enforce them, is what has made the site grow over the past 5 years.

We want to create a friendly, supportive environment for people to get help with their problems.

We DON'T want the sex section to turn into a place where people go to get their jollies. That's why we have strict rules.

I did ban someone the other day for comparing the site to China too. There was another reason as well, but I forgot what it was. So don't become "China Ban #2!"


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