# Possible signs that he could cheat? Please help!



## ello_chello (May 22, 2014)

Hi everybody,

I have no idea where to start but here it is.... We are a month shy of being together for a year and life as a couple moved seriously fast. We had sex on the first night, he told me he loved me the night he asked me out just a few days after meeting. We moved in together only 2 months after dating and got our cat 2 weeks after I moved in. He was no where near ready to settle down his main goal was to sleep with women till about his 30 then try to settle down. 
Let me just say that I'm 18 about to be 19 in a month and a half and he is 23. I was a month shy of 18 when we met and he was 22.

We never really had problems till about right after his birthday in January and that's when he really showed he didn't want to settle down, that he wanted to have sex with a virgin (his lifelong dream) and he wanted to know what 100 pound women sex feels like. He pushed me away so much that his mom told him to straighten up his act or he was going to lose the best thing for him. Well he ended up realizing that his mom was right and things were good but he still had wants of sleeping with a skinny skinny girl and he goes on websites that show half naked sometimes full naked girls and he just moans and groans when he sees the pictures even when I'm right there in front of him then he catches himself then he stops but then a few mins later he's back to it and he knows it annoys me but he just says he a man and he can't help it.

Girls on the street, girls on the Internet, he just lusts over them so bad and he tells me he doesn't think he could ever cheat on me but honestly I think he would.

As of a few weeks ago we got married and things were great but now he's back to wanting a skinny skinny women again and it's driving him crazy cause he's always asking why can't he have a girlfriend on the side ( half jokingly he asks) and he thinks it's normal for guys to do this. I don't know but do you think that it is normal for guys to be like this


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## Enoxprin (Apr 8, 2014)

no this is not normal. I am sorry but why are you with this jerk? 
Think about it: 
1) you said your self that he did not want to settle down
2) you guys been barely been together for one year and he is lusting after other girls 
3) Actually I don't have a problem with couples watching porn together to spice things up in the bedroom but both parties have to agree to it. Your situation sounds like he is just watching it in front of you and that is disrespectful to you 
4) "He wants to have sex with a skinny girl" again disrespectful also if you guys are dating or married he should not be talking to you like that. I can understand how some men might have fantasies and while it is ok to share them with their spouse it is not ok to be blurting that out
5) His life long dream is to sleep with a virgin (insecure much) 
6) You guys have only been married for a couple of weeks. This is the honeymoon phase and he is talking about other women? Marriage is a life long commitment what about 10,20,30 years down the road?

You are very young. Do you see yourself with putting up with this type of thing for rest of your life? You prob should have never married him but since you did I would tell you to tell him to straighten out his act if not you walk.


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## ello_chello (May 22, 2014)

Our whole relationship was fast, but we bonded because when we met we were both at our lowest point in life. He was borderline alcoholic and I was on all types of meds for depression and anxiety. We worked off of one another and made a complete 180 we never have any problems except for him wanting other women. We live in a 9 by 12 room and given the circumstances that both of our life's have thrown at us we shouldn't even been together for a month but we made it through so much together. He is very bi-polar, I know how he really feels but I'm just so tired of the comments he makes. & he knows that I hate it when he does it but he can't control it, his mother keeps telling me he has Tourettes but I always thought she was joking. 

He's not really a jerk, he always cooks special meals for me and leaves surprises and does all he can to show he loves me. Again its just the comments of wanting another girl that's a problem


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Can you move back home to your parents house?

Can you get a part-time job and enroll in some sort of training, or school that could lead to some sort of career you would like?

Get out of this marriage as soon as you can, and for goodness sakes do NOT get yourself pregnant.

Go to counseling with a licensed clinical therapist. This person will help you see more clearly - and to help you cope with making better decisions. Therapist will help with your self-esteem issues as well.


he cooks special meals for you - then makes fun of your weight by talking about wanting or having sex with a virgin and/or a skinny, skinny girl.

You are very young and you can still get out and figure out what actual good things are in store for you....

Think what it will be like 6 years from now in the same exact place you are now....but add to that a kid or two...is that where you really want to be?


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## FrenchFry (Oct 10, 2011)

I don't know how to put this politely but there are so many red flags in your posts it's literally mind-boggling.

I think these are more than possible signs he will cheat, personally. There are also signs of a bad start to a relationship that will need a lot of work.

You are 18, are you in school? I ask because schools tend to have resources that could help you out.


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## Enoxprin (Apr 8, 2014)

ello_chello said:


> Our whole relationship was fast, but we bonded because when we met we were both at our lowest point in life. He was borderline alcoholic and I was on all types of meds for depression and anxiety. We worked off of one another and made a complete 180 we never have any problems except for him wanting other women. We live in a 9 by 12 room and given the circumstances that both of our life's have thrown at us we shouldn't even been together for a month but we made it through so much together. He is very bi-polar, I know how he really feels but I'm just so tired of the comments he makes. & he knows that I hate it when he does it but he can't control it, his mother keeps telling me he has Tourettes but I always thought she was joking.
> 
> He's not really a jerk, he always cooks special meals for me and leaves surprises and does all he can to show he loves me. Again its just the comments of wanting another girl that's a problem



Sweetheart some people in come in our life to help us and that is it. I am glad that you guys were able to help each other out of your situations but this situation is not good for you either. It is probably time to get out of this situation before either one of you relapse into those previous situations. You don't think that your new husband wanting other women would bring your mood down? I mean everyone says how hard marriage is but this is an added difficulty to your marriage. 

Personally in my humble opinion you are too young to be married. 

Has he been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder? Is he on meds for it? I don't see how being bi-polar gives him a right to blurt those things out and if he is in his mania episode then he should go to the doctor to get meds for it. 

You said he loves you yet he says things like these over and over knowing that these things hurt you? Why would you want to hurt someone you love?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Having seen _only_ the title of this thread, I was going to respond w/ the following...

==========

Does he have...

1. ...at least one arm?
2. ...at least one leg?
3. ...at least one eye?
4. ...at least one ear?
5. ...a body temperature of 98.6 degrees (F) plus or minus 20 degrees?
6. ...a penis that works reliably at least 50% of the time?

If the answer to all of these is "Yes", then _*yes, depending on the circumstances, he could cheat.*_

==========

Now that I've read OP's initial post, I'll amend my commentary to state very simply...

He *is* cheating.

OP, based on the description that you've provided of your BF, I'd say that he's a soulless d**chebag, and is incapable of maintaining a mature relationship w/ anything beyond a bottle of lotion and a box of tissue.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

You know what... That last comment may have been a bit rough, and thoroughly uncalled for. I'll let OP decide, though.


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## sjmoon (May 26, 2014)

why are you with this guy?

i know how you felt and how you feel. but maybe, just maybe, you were just wayyyyyyy to young to make the decision to marry. he clearly is not ready to settle down. he wants to have his adventures and you will suffer.

go out, meet people, work on your career, discover who you are and just leave him behind!!!!! 

i know, it sounds so harsh. but it is so obvious.

i hope that in some way this helps!


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

yeah, I think it was the cat 2 weeks after you moved in! LOL

not many guys actually LIKE cats


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

Yeah, a cat 2 weeks in is pretty serious business!

For real though, he probably is going to cheat given half a chance. If he's already lamenting the fact that he'll never have a virgin or a skinny skinny girl he's probably setting you up for when he does cheat. If you're not firm with him that you won't stand for it, he can always say, well I told you this was something I wanted I thought you were ok with it.

And good luck to him finding a virgin at 23 that doesn't come along with a statutory rape charge.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

ello_chello said:


> Our whole relationship was fast, but we bonded because when we met we were both at our lowest point in life. He was borderline alcoholic and I was on all types of meds for depression and anxiety. We worked off of one another and made a complete 180 we never have any problems except for him wanting other women. We live in a 9 by 12 room and given the circumstances that both of our life's have thrown at us we shouldn't even been together for a month but we made it through so much together. He is very bi-polar, I know how he really feels but I'm just so tired of the comments he makes. & he knows that I hate it when he does it but he can't control it, his mother keeps telling me he has Tourettes but I always thought she was joking.
> 
> He's not really a jerk, he always cooks special meals for me and leaves surprises and does all he can to show he loves me. Again its just the comments of wanting another girl that's a problem


:scratchhead:

I would say your observation of the situation is quite a problem.

You are like locked in in a nut house, and reasoning that the temperature of the food served is the only real problem.

Everything in your situation is a problem. But first you need to work on a bit of logical thinking. Your situation is the right outcome of the stew you have made. Nothing to discuss actually. If you want another stew, another life, you best begin all over with new ingredients.

If so, find a way to learn to think sound and logical first. There starts it all.


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