# High frequency and active lifestyle



## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I don’t want to thread high jack... 

I’m just curious if there is a correlation between active lifestyle and high sex frequency. Because sex is effort and active and I wonder if lazier, or inactive people who just want to sit on the couch and chill are the once who don’t want to have a lot of sex because they view the effort as work and that don’t like that.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

For example, I seek out things that are active on my time off. I know sex can be a good workout and it’s good for you in many different ways, so I’m more apt to initiate not necessarily because I feel the desire, but because I know I will enjoy it once I get started.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

I think people can live an active lifestyle and have a high or low sex drive. Same goes for inactive lifestyles. I don't see a correlation between lifestyle and frequency. Lifestyle and lazy sex on the other hand... There is probably definitely a correlation there.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Girl_power said:


> I’m just curious if there is a correlation between active lifestyle and high sex frequency. Because sex is effort and active and I wonder if lazier, or inactive people who just want to sit on the couch and chill are the once who don’t want to have a lot of sex because they view the effort as work and that don’t like that.


I don't think so, but we're just one data point. Sex is fun, work is ... well, work! Some forms of exercise are fun, but much is work. I'd say we're _moderately _active people - certainly not couch potatoes - but have more sex than most, even those much younger and fitter.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

I do see a correlation. For example a current thread in which the man would rather relax and watch TV instead of having sex. Perhaps if he were more high energy generally, more frequent sex wouldn't be an intrusion on his "relax and movie" time. For someone who was up off the couch moving around anyway, a sex session wouldn't be an intrusion on couch time because they wouldn't be having couch time to begin with.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Livvie said:


> I do see a correlation. For example a current thread in which the man would rather relax and watch TV instead of having sex. Perhaps if he were more high energy generally, more frequent sex wouldn't be an intrusion on his "relax and movie" time. For someone who was up off the couch moving around anyway, a sex session wouldn't be an intrusion on couch time because they wouldn't be having couch time to begin with.


But sex could be an intrusion on gym time, fishing time, golfing time, poker time, etc., etc. Being active does not mean you're interested in sex or actively pursuing it. In fact, being active may be a way to avoid sex!


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

I agree. Lazy people equals lazy sex life. If you are a high energy person, especially if you do those high energy hobbies with one another, you will find the time. For example, gf and hiked a mountain a couple of months ago. Nothing crazy, 3000 ft elevation. Took us 4 hours round trip. We had sex on the way up and again on the way down. Something about the excitement of being outdoors. My stbx watched a lot of tv. Crap shows too, like 90 day fiancé and kardashians. I can’t tell you how many times I’d get “I’m tired, do you want a quick HJ?” Err, no, I can do that myself.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Sometimes? I dated a guy who was extremely LD and he was very active. Think sometimes issues like ED that can interfere with sex come with age?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Speaking as a woman I think an active lifestyle gives us a better body image and that goes a long way towards a better sex drive.

And better blood flow is good for everything.


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## CatholicDad (Oct 30, 2017)

The inverse is true, too. People that desire sex a lot are typically going to work hard on staying fit because they really want to be desired by their spouse- sort of improve their odds at full enjoyment with them. I’m dumbfounded at other men that let themselves go because I think “dude, you don’t want sex?”.

In addition, I think when my wife is unavailable I can become frustrated such that I have to get sweaty, active, and exhausted so I won’t be consumed by frustration and anger. The only remedy for sexual frustration (other than sex itself) is inflicting some kind of bodily pain (through work, sports, or exercise) on yourself. Masturbation isn’t only morally wrong it robs you of some motivation to move, run, and live really.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I work out at least one hour 7 days/week and also participate in sports as well as going on walks. I want sex constantly... On the other hand in the past when fat and out of shape I wanted sex almost constantly (i.e. when not drunk).


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

I love the show sex in the city, there is a quote from Samatha that goes... “who you are in life is who you are in bed.”
Lazy, selfish, generous, adventurous, etc.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> I work out at least one hour 7 days/week and also participate in sports as well as going on walks. I want sex constantly... On the other hand in the past when fat and out of shape I wanted sex almost constantly (i.e. when not drunk).


I also think that wanting and having are two different things. A lot of men on here say they want sex everyday, but reality is that not many can really handle that much. I think it’s easy to sit there and want sex, even to masterbate, but to actually have sex that often it’s different.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

I do high-intensity martial arts workouts around 10-12 hours per week, with a very high level of fitness/conditioning. My drive is medium to medium-low. 

That said, I turn 46 in a few short months, and have seen a pretty significant drop over the last 5 years. 

Sent from my Pixel 3 XL using Tapatalk


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

I think with some women the activities they engage in provide the stimulation or the needs they used to get from sex.

This seems especially true with religious activities which often provide intimacy, fellowship and even justifications for avoiding sex. They even get to be single again and seduce strangers, although it's called conversion.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Girl_power said:


> A lot of men on here say they want sex everyday, but reality is that not many can really handle that much. I think it’s easy to sit there and want sex, even to masterbate, but to actually have sex that often it’s different.


Big true on that but I wouldn’t classify myself in that bucket. Last night 3x in a row. Bing bang boom!


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Girl_power said:


> I don’t want to thread high jack...
> 
> I’m just curious if there is a correlation between active lifestyle and high sex frequency. Because sex is effort and active and I wonder if lazier, or inactive people who just want to sit on the couch and chill are the once who don’t want to have a lot of sex because they view the effort as work and that don’t like that.


I’m not so about the active lifestyle and frequency correlation although on the surface it makes sense that someone that is fit and vigorous would have a higher capacity for sex than some fat, lazy couch potato.

But I do think there is a correlation between adventure sports and thrill seeking and calculated risk taking and sexual adventures. 

Someone that is into mountain climbing and skydiving and white water rafting etc and gets off in the rush and adrenaline of that, probably digs adventures in bed as well.

My wife and I went from rock climbing and rappelling and white water rafting etc in our dating and early marriage to swinging after the kids were old enough to leave with grandparents for the weekend.


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## Imagirl (Aug 17, 2020)

I'd say it's all hormonal. Activity may regulate your hormones but I'd bet there are some pretty horny couch potatoes out there, too. I'm always in the mood, when I'm active, when I'm lazy, heck you can wake me from a sound sleep and I'll roll with it.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Girl_power said:


> For example, I seek out things that are active on my time off. I know sex can be a good workout and it’s good for you in many different ways, so I’m more apt to initiate not necessarily because I feel the desire, but because I know I will enjoy it once I get started.


In my opinion I think THAT right there is what defines if someone will be HD or LD. The ability to see beyond a lack of desire in any given moment and actively make yourself do something that will result in getting yourself aroused and active.

Perhaps LD folks would do the same but struggle with associating activities that will accomplish that. For them sometimes something works and other times it may not and becomes frustrating. So then the LD becomes "arousal avoidant" in fear of trying something that may fail and result in frustration.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I like the lazy sex example.

I know that better health improves on every aspect.

I think a horny potato will still probably want a lot of sex but not be up to performing that much.

I've been a walking hard on since age10 and gone through several phases of fitness.

When I'm more active, I'm noticably up for it a lot more and more able to perform as well though.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Good point. Being up for sex is different than actively initiating sex.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Girl_power said:


> For example, I seek out things that are active on my time off. *I know sex can be a good workout* ...


Hmm. Fun? Sure. Good workout? That's a stretch.

"One study found that sex burned more than 100 calories, at least for men. A team from the University of Montreal compared the calorie expenditure of running to that of sex and found that—no surprise—running far outpaced the latter. Women burned an average of 213 calories during 30 minutes of light running, while men burned 276. Sex, on the other hand, demanded 101 calories from men and just 69 from women, burning an average of 3.6 calories per minute."









You Asked: How Many Calories Does Sex Burn?


Here's how to optimize your calorie burn between the sheets.




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69 calories. Chuckle.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

Cletus said:


> Hmm. Fun? Sure. Good workout? That's a stretch.
> 
> "One study found that sex burned more than 100 calories, at least for men. A team from the University of Montreal compared the calorie expenditure of running to that of sex and found that—no surprise—running far outpaced the latter. Women burned an average of 213 calories during 30 minutes of light running, while men burned 276. Sex, on the other hand, demanded 101 calories from men and just 69 from women, burning an average of 3.6 calories per minute."
> 
> ...


It’s like every other exercise, you can burn more if you want to! Gotta go harder and longer. If your a girl... just get on top.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Sex calories. Well, sex may not burn many, but it's just a part of an active lifestyle. But I'm not interested in the workout aspects, no matter who is on top.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Girl_power said:


> It’s like every other exercise, you can burn more if you want to! Gotta go harder and longer. If your a girl... just get on top.


I have one of those fitness watches and after sex, I'll look and see the statistics. The reality is that my heart rate doesn't increase that much half the time. I have discovered that when you combine arousal with relaxation that the experience is exponentially more intense. Seems counterintuitive, but an experience driven by high performance and heart pounding action tends to feel numbing in comparison. Almost as if having to push hard and force it to happen as opposed to relaxing and intensifying the sensations by being fully present.

Perhaps that is getting into the realm of tantric practices, but I think everyone should challenge themself to have an orgasm while completely relaxed. Once you experience that, it will likely open you into a whole new world of experiences!


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## attheend02 (Jan 8, 2019)

badsanta said:


> I have one of those fitness watches and after sex, I'll look and see the statistics. The reality is that my heart rate doesn't increase that much half the time. I have discovered that when you combine arousal with relaxation that the experience is exponentially more intense. Seems counterintuitive, but an experience driven by high performance and heart pounding action tends to feel numbing in comparison. Almost as if having to push hard and force it to happen as opposed to relaxing and intensifying the sensations by being fully present.
> 
> Perhaps that is getting into the realm of tantric practices, but I think everyone should challenge themself to have an orgasm while completely relaxed. Once you experience that, it will likely open you into a whole new world of experiences!


I'm not sure that you can measure the health affects of sex by calories...

I'm told that 7500 steps a day and getting off my butt is great for my health.
I don't believe those steps are burning a heck of a lot of calories.

I know I sleep better and am more relaxed after sex. I think that's a better measure than calories.


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## Hiner112 (Nov 17, 2019)

I think @WandaJ complained that as her marriage degraded she spent more time walking and exercising and had a noticeable increase in horniness which was counterproductive to her happiness since she no longer had a partner. 

There's a link between weight and ED. Also, there is some indication that being out of shape or overweight can reduce your libido.


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