# Ben Higgins Ultimate "Nice Guy"



## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

This is not a compliment. Last night I saw him get all tied up with emotion and literally rest his head on both Joe Joe and Laren B as if they were his mother.
I give the guy 6 months with Lauren. She will have him for lunch!

What do you ladies think? 

Maybe he's just a great actor. I view him as a soft piece of french toast.


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I think it's all scripted and all those who are in it are mainly just actors. You think that Jo Jo would just act perfectly as she did and just be set in the limo and driven away after being told she was loved then rejected?? It just seems fake.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

jb02157 said:


> I think it's all scripted and all those who are in it are mainly just actors. You think that Jo Jo would just act perfectly as she did and just be set in the limo and driven away after being told she was loved then rejected?? It just seems fake.


Yes, I agree Jo Jo seemed too composed in the limo.
Ben is just too friggen nice, IMO. Although, like you say, it may all be a farce. I also thought when he picked up that ring from Neil Lang and then magically said "I know who I'm going to ask now."
Yeah, right!


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

I do think a lot of it is scripted, but holy cow I was relieved he didn't end up marrying into jo jo's toxic family. That would have been a nightmare.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Blossom Leigh said:


> I do think a lot of it is scripted, but holy cow I was relieved he didn't end up marrying into jo jo's toxic family. That would have been a nightmare.


I noticed the brothers did not show up for the possible after show "wedding." They probably have a "hit" on Ben :grin2:


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

UMP said:


> This is not a compliment. Last night I saw him get all tied up with emotion and literally rest his head on both Joe Joe and Laren B as if they were his mother.
> I give the guy 6 months with Lauren. She will have him for lunch!
> 
> What do you ladies think?
> ...


He came off as such a needy wimp it made my stomach turn. I had never watched this show before yesterday. I binged most of the show on FF and watched the finale. Most of those women wanted their 15 minutes, but a lot of them seemed pretty wrapped up in the "pick me dance" and he is SO needy he just wanted all of them to love and mother him. Gross! If that is what is out there for men I should just take my Ex back.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

UMP said:


> Yes, I agree Jo Jo seemed too composed in the limo.
> Ben is just too friggen nice, IMO. Although, like you say, it may all be a farce. I also thought when he picked up that ring from Neil Lang and then magically said "I know who I'm going to ask now."
> Yeah, right!


The ring is probably the biggest farce of all. The show owns the ring for 3 years. If they don't stay together and engaged for the full 3 years they have to give the ring back.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> He came off as such a needy wimp it made my stomach turn. I had never watched this show before yesterday. I binged most of the show on FF and watched the finale. Most of those women wanted their 15 minutes, but a lot of them seemed pretty wrapped up in the "pick me dance" and he is SO needy he just wanted all of them to love and mother him. Gross! If that is what is out there for men I should just take my Ex back.


YES, this is exactly what I am talking about!
He is MR NICE GUY! Is this the kind of man that women want?
It also made my stomach turn watching him lean his head back while both women caressed him like he was a 5 year old boy.
That CANNOT last. IMO.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

UMP said:


> YES, this is exactly what I am talking about!
> He is MR NICE GUY! Is this the kind of man that women want?*NO!*
> 
> It also made my stomach turn watching him lean his head back while both women caressed him like he was a 5 year old boy.
> ...


*These shows have an abysmal track record, so I think it is safe to say it will crash and burn.*


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> *These shows have an abysmal track record, so I think it is safe to say it will crash and burn.*


This HAS to influence men in a negative way. They see this guy act like a 5 year old boy with all these women around and they say to themselves, "Oh, that's the way you're supposed to act."
Young men are VERY impressionable in this way, especially when women are involved. This is where young men get their advice from and young women too.

The media fawns over this guy like he is a prince or something. They portray him as the perfect man. I think men and women are eating this stuff up like candy. You get married and then POOF, you wonder what the hell happened.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

UMP said:


> This HAS to influence men in a negative way. They see this guy act like a 5 year old boy with all these women around and they say to themselves, "Oh, that's the way you're supposed to act."
> Young men are VERY impressionable in this way, especially when women are involved. This is where young men get their advice from and young women too.
> 
> The media fawns over this guy like he is a prince or something. They portray him as the perfect man. I think men and women are eating this stuff up like candy. You get married and then POOF, you wonder what the hell happened.



You are 100% right. This particular "Bachelor" especially got so much media attention as "America's Perfect Man" I had to watch. I had avoided this show like poison for 19 seasons and had to see what all the fuss was about with Ben Higgins. What a let down.

People are eating it up like candy. This show has a really huge demographic and high ratings, that is scary. It is a horrible example for young men and women. The entertainment value was not even there, he just gave me the creeps. My very effeminate gay friend was watching with me yelling at the TV for him to man up and stop crying!


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> You are 100% right. This particular "Bachelor" especially got so much media attention as "America's Perfect Man" I had to watch. I had avoided this show like poison for 19 seasons and had to see what all the fuss was about with Ben Higgins. What a let down.
> 
> People are eating it up like candy. This show has a really huge demographic and high ratings, that is scary. It is a horrible example for young men and women. The entertainment value was not even there, he just gave me the creeps. My very effeminate gay friend was watching with me yelling at the TV for him to man up and stop crying!


Things are looking up for TAM. The messed up marriages this show is going to cause is going to overload TAM in a couple years! :surprise:


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Anybody who relies on reality TV to teach them about relationships would be headed for trouble, regardless.

Anybody who relies on reality TV to teach them about ANYTHING is headed for trouble.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> Anybody who relies on reality TV to teach them about relationships would be headed for trouble, regardless.
> 
> Anybody who relies on reality TV to teach them about ANYTHING is headed for trouble.


True, but tell that to a teenager. Young boys are looking for relationship advice from anyone or anything they can. That's the reason I gave my 18 year old boy "No More Mr. Nice Guy" for his birthday. Probably the best thing I've ever given him.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> Anybody who relies on reality TV to teach them about relationships would be headed for trouble, regardless.
> 
> Anybody who relies on reality TV to teach them about ANYTHING is headed for trouble.



Oh crap! So I shouldn't have pulled my girlfriends hair and thrown wine in her face because she has a better handbag?>


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

UMP said:


> This HAS to influence men in a negative way. They see this guy act like a 5 year old boy with all these women around and they say to themselves, "Oh, that's the way you're supposed to act."
> Young men are VERY impressionable in this way, especially when women are involved. This is where young men get their advice from and young women too.
> 
> The media fawns over this guy like he is a prince or something. They portray him as the perfect man. I think men and women are eating this stuff up like candy. You get married and then POOF, you wonder what the hell happened.


I automatically look down on any man or woman who would watch these shows (sorry if that's insulting!) Addiction to this crap is a sign of lower intelligence! (Sorry, again but that's the way I feel!) 

If you're in a position to be influenced by this tripe then you are already in some trouble to begin with.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

UMP said:


> True, but tell that to a teenager. Young boys are looking for relationship advice from anyone or anything they can. That's the reason I gave my 18 year old boy "No More Mr. Nice Guy" for his birthday. Probably the best thing I've ever given him.


Reality TV was in it's infancy when I was a teenager, but I knew it was hogwash even then. There are smart teenagers, and there are dumb teenagers. Dumb teenagers grow into dumb adults. Smart teenagers know that reality TV is for dumb teenagers.

Besides--what teenage boy watches The Bachelor? Not exactly their demographic.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

kristin2349 said:


> Oh crap! So I shouldn't have pulled my girlfriends hair and thrown wine in her face because she has a better handbag?>


That sounds more like Falcon Crest!


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> Reality TV was in it's infancy when I was a teenager, but I knew it was hogwash even then. There are smart teenagers, and there are dumb teenagers. Dumb teenagers grow into dumb adults. Smart teenagers know that reality TV is for dumb teenagers.
> *
> Besides--what teenage boy watches The Bachelor? Not exactly their demographic*.


Not many, but the teenage girls they are going to be dating sure do...


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Fozzy said:


> That sounds more like Falcon Crest!


You haven't seen an episode of "Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills" I take it. The wine throwing happens, it wasn't over a handbag but something just as trivial. The hair pulling happens too, depending on the locale it may be a weave or wig.

My mom used to watch Falcon Crest and Dynasty, the story lines are probably similar.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

If it makes anybody feel better, I've got four kids, 14-20 years old. None of them watch tv. They, and their friends are ether playing video games, youtube, or Netflix. Old people watch tv....


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

Giro flee said:


> If it makes anybody feel better, I've got four kids, 14-20 years old. None of them watch tv. They, and their friends are ether playing video games, youtube, or Netflix. Old people watch tv....


lol... "most" of the time we are Netflix and Youtubers or on demand. It's RARE we watch anything life feed TV anymore.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> Reality TV was in it's infancy when I was a teenager, but I knew it was hogwash even then. There are smart teenagers, and there are dumb teenagers. Dumb teenagers grow into dumb adults. Smart teenagers know that reality TV is for dumb teenagers.
> 
> Besides--what teenage boy watches The Bachelor? Not exactly their demographic.


Not when your 18 year old son is invited to an all female "viewing party." The cokkss go where the chickens are.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

VermisciousKnid said:


> I automatically look down on any man or woman who would watch these shows (sorry if that's insulting!) Addiction to this crap is a sign of lower intelligence! (Sorry, again but that's the way I feel!)
> 
> If you're in a position to be influenced by this tripe then you are already in some trouble to begin with.


Edit:
Sorry you feel that way.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

UMP said:


> True, but tell that to a teenager. Young boys are looking for relationship advice from anyone or anything they can. That's the reason I gave my 18 year old boy "No More Mr. Nice Guy" for his birthday. Probably the best thing I've ever given him.


Did he seem like a "Nice Guy"?


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

jld said:


> Did he seem like a "Nice Guy"?


Yep.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

UMP said:


> Yep.


How so?


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

UMP said:


> I automatically look down on any man or woman who judges a person by the type of tv they watch. (sorry if that's insulting!) Judging this way is a sign of lower intelligence. (sorry, again but that's the way I feel!)
> 
> If you think you're in a position to judge people who watch this tripe then you are already in some trouble to begin with.


That's my value system and I'm sticking to it. 

Loyal people ARE better than cheaters. 
Industrious people ARE better than lazy people. 
Curious people ARE better than disinterested people. 
Generous people ARE better than misers. 
Unprejudiced people ARE better than racists. 
Etc. 

Why are people unwilling to judge? 

The popularity of the Kardashians and every show that celebrates stupid narcissistic attention seekers is just evidence of how lame this country has become. 

I guess I should have stayed out if this thread.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

VermisciousKnid said:


> That's my value system and I'm sticking to it.
> 
> Loyal people ARE better than cheaters.
> Industrious people ARE better than lazy people.
> ...


I don't "look down" on ANY man or ANY women because of a television show they may watch.

That's my value system and I'm sticking to it.

Is "The Bachelor" a ridiculous, silly, stupid, scripted, foolish, show?
Yes indeed and I just love watching it with my wife! :grin2:


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

VermisciousKnid said:


> I automatically look down on any man or woman who would watch these shows (sorry if that's insulting!) Addiction to this crap is a sign of lower intelligence! (Sorry, again but that's the way I feel!)
> 
> If you're in a position to be influenced by this tripe then you are already in some trouble to begin with.


Actually, if I am true to my words I cannot/ will not judge you for judging me.
If you think I am less of a person because I watch this show, so be it.
Peace :smile2:

I deleted my original response to your above post.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

jld said:


> Did he seem like a "Nice Guy"?


My perception of my son is that of a "nice guy." As to whether he actually is or is not a "nice guy" with women, I don't know for certain. However, after reading all the horror stories on TAM, and killing some of those learned tendencies in my own personality, I wanted to nip it in the bud with the book. (no more mr. nice guy)

I certainly don't want him to be an asshat, but I don't want him to be walked over either. 

All vitriol aside, the last episode of The Bachelor is a case study in how NOT to act as a man. IMO.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

While VermisciousKinid might have been kind of harsh, I too do not understand enjoying garbage like the Bachelor. I truly just do not understand it. Then again I dont understand how people enjoy something like Fast and Furious 7 enough for it to make millions and millions of dollars either. 

Maybe something for another thread another day.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Middle of Everything said:


> While VermisciousKinid might have been kind of harsh, I too do not understand enjoying garbage like the Bachelor. I truly just do not understand it. Then again I dont understand how people enjoy something like Fast and Furious 7 enough for it to make millions and millions of dollars either.
> 
> Maybe something for another thread another day.



Here is a quote that perfectly sums up why I watch Reality TV:

"Watching it is like having my brain stroked to a very low-grade, consequence-free orgasm — a pleasurable sort of noninvolvement. And I never once have to compare myself unfavorably with the people onscreen." Naomi Fry - New York Times


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Middle of Everything said:


> While VermisciousKinid might have been kind of harsh, I too do not understand enjoying garbage like the Bachelor. I truly just do not understand it. Then again I dont understand how people enjoy something like Fast and Furious 7 enough for it to make millions and millions of dollars either.
> 
> Maybe something for another thread another day.


Man is more than the sum of his viewed television shows.

I can't understand why someone would want to be attached to the internet 24/7 via smart phone, walking around fondling it like tethered zombie to a feeding tube.
Does that make me better or worse than someone else who does?
Nope. It just makes me......me.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

kristin2349 said:


> Here is a quote that perfectly sums up why I watch Reality TV:
> 
> "Watching it is like having my brain stroked to a very low-grade, consequence-free orgasm — a pleasurable sort of noninvolvement. And I never once have to compare myself unfavorably with the people onscreen." Naomi Fry - New York Times


Interestingly enough, I can learn more workable truth from The Bachelor than I can watching a U.S. Presidential debate on CNN.
THAT is the cold harsh REAL reality.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

UMP said:


> Interestingly enough, I can learn more workable truth from The Bachelor than I can watching a U.S. Presidential debate on CNN.
> THAT is the cold harsh REAL reality.


Ahhh, but the real mystery is which one is more scripted?


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

lol... good one Foz

badumpching


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

kristin2349 said:


> Here is a quote that perfectly sums up why I watch Reality TV:
> 
> "Watching it is like having my brain stroked to a very low-grade, consequence-free orgasm — a pleasurable sort of noninvolvement. And I never once have to compare myself unfavorably with the people onscreen." Naomi Fry - New York Times


I guess it's an explanation, but it's one that makes me queasy. Essentially she's saying that she gets voyeuristic pleasure watching people that she feels superior to behave badly.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

VermisciousKnid said:


> I guess it's an explanation, but it's one that makes me queasy. *Essentially she's saying that she gets voyeuristic pleasure watching people that she feels superior to behave badly*.


And you weren't feeling a bit superior when you let us know you look down your nose at people who watch shows like The Bachelor? Relax! It is entertainment, it doesn't need to get much deeper than that for me. Look down on me for my viewing habits all you want.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

kristin2349 said:


> And you weren't feeling a bit superior when you let us know you look down your nose at people who watch shows like The Bachelor? Relax! It is entertainment, it doesn't need to get much deeper than that for me. Look down on me for my viewing habits all you want.


Actually, yes I was. Have you ever heard someone say that this or that is their "guilty pleasure"? They feel guilty about it because they know they shouldn't be doing it or some aspect of it is wrong. Like eating an entire package of Oreos or watching ignorant narcissists with personality disorders abuse each other for sport and cash. 

Why should that make people feel guilty? Because that many Oreos are bad for your health and watching shallow narcissists manipulated to create and receive pain isn't good for your soul and it normalizes that kind of behavior. 

That's the essence of my beef with shows of this ilk.


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