# I’m so glad I didn’t give up!



## Emmie (Dec 17, 2014)

Hi,
I’ve been a member here for quite some time now. 
Over the last 4 years I have lived in a marriage with almost no sex (my husbands issues) but a marriage where I still had a husband who was loving and affectionate but not in a sexual way.
I was close to ending our marriage so I came here for advice and support, even though I haven’t posted much, I have read a lot.
I am here to tell you that my life has turned around and not in the way I thought it would.
I am now a very happily married lady with a husband who is now actually a husband in all aspects of our life.
I have never been more in love than what I am today.
Our turning point came when my husband decided to go through my messenger messages, and found a message from another man I had a relationship with 20 plus years ago.
The message was not bad. The other man wanted to meet up with me for sex which I refused and was very clear I didn’t want that.
Who would’ve thought that that message would actually fix my marriage? Well it did.

Of course seeing that message caused a huge argument and in fact the argument ended in me saying I wanted a divorce.

However, my husband suddenly realised he was about to lose his family, his whole life and that’s when things took a turn for the better.

My husband and I have been so consumed by the children over the last 4 years we had forgotten about ‘US’.
We forgot that we matter too.
That we needed time for us.
That it wasn’t just about the kids.

We were both guilty of forgetting about each other. I may not have had a problem with sex but I became so robotic I wasn’t me anymore.

Your marriage doesn’t have to end in divorce. Take notice of one another. Make time for both of you.

For the last couple of months I have fallen in love all over again. My sex life is better than it was when we first met. Our intimacy is at a massive high and we have had a wonderful weekend away with no hassles from home.

I am happier than I’ve been for years and I got to keep my husband. My family is together! My children get to have their parents in one place together.

I can’t tell you that you have to make your marriage/relationship work, but I can tell you that you can overcome your problems, if like me you keep trying and you are both on the same page and you both want it to work.
There is a happily ever after if it’s what you both want.

If you are here, then like me you are trying to save what you have and you are looking for help to keep your relationship and make it better.
It shows you have not given up yet.
Don’t throw away what you have unless you truly believe you no longer love your partner.
Some relationships just can’t survive some things. But you have come here with the intention to save what you have.
It can be done.

I hope everyone here finds happiness, whether they stay together or move on.

This forum helped me so much. It got me through the most painful part of my life and helped me stick it out when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore.

Emmie :x


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## Smooth1981 (May 10, 2018)

Great success story. How do you make the other person care to try though?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Congratulations!

.......................................................................................................................

A messenger from twenty years past wants a new beginning, a new round of 'not bad'.

For him to remember 'not bad', what would he be thinking of past 'good'.

Goodness gracious. 

He would not have let you escape, take your toys and run.

This message raised the alarm.
This message raised the hackles on your husband.
This message raised the bar on your husband.
This message raised his membership from inactive, to active member.

His member raising it's bar to horizontal, sometimes pointing higher.


Or, so it seems....



The Typist II-


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Glad you are working in it together!


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Love stories like this and I hope it keeps going, it will if you both keep working on it! 

I would have done anything to save my marriage, my STBXW did everything to save her affair in the battle with OM's wife.

Good luck Emmie, I truly believe times and trials like what you went through can destroy a marriage or be the best thing that ever happened to it, to wake you both up!


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

How long have you been married? I am presuming less than 20 years?

What made this OM think that he could dial you up for sex ? Did he know you were married ? How did you reconnect with him?


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

Thanks for sharing, this is the second happy ending story I've read here today.

Love it.

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## Raffi (Feb 9, 2018)

Amazing story. Thanks for sharing! 

I am a big proponent of putting your marriage AHEAD of your children, which I think is counterintuitive for many people. Otherwise, you may very well end up disconnected as you did.


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## Jibbee (May 16, 2018)

Love the story - thank you so much for sharing.

I've recently gone through something similar . Certainly difficult at times but with some smart/hard work, some empathy and putting the marriage/relationship first, things have come around significantly. We basically reinvented what we were/had via regularly date nights, changing up our routine (this was a big one), doing things for each the other would really like, holding hands all the time when out and saying hello and goodbye with a kiss. It was like a complete 180 and am so glad my wife and I were able to work through it.


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## just here (May 25, 2018)

Was it the lack of sex that was the big issue?

Can you give any specific examples of how either of you turned the situation around? How did you take notice of each other?

and congrats. Hearing a story like yours really gives me hope. Thank you.


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## joyousone75 (Oct 14, 2016)

Love this post!!


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