# For those that separated..where did the spouse go that left?



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

H would be the one that would be moving out while myself and our adult son would stay in the house. When we were discussing this a while back he was thinking about a furnished place so he does not have to buy furniture as well he really does not want to live with other people, i.e. basically renting out a bedroom in someone's house. Plus alot of places want six to one year lease.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I was the one who left and got my own place.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

But did you sign a lease, rent your own apartment, move in with someone, etc.?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I was expecting to look at a short term lease/rental for a furnished place. There's lots of ads, often for business people who are located in another town for short terms. In the end, I was helping a friend with a computer issue shortly after I told my wife I wanted out, and he mentioned looking for a roommate to take his basement suite. He had a futon, desk, and I shared his main floor kitchen and laundry facilities. Worked out pretty good for me because it let me get my stuff together for a longer term lease on my own. Cost me half what my current rental is. 

I think I ended up staying there about 6 months. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

highwood said:


> But did you sign a lease, rent your own apartment, move in with someone, etc.?


My own place meaning I was alone. Rented place.

There is no way in hell *anyone* could have paid me to live with someone else after having left. To this day, I question if I'd ever want to live with anyone again.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Exactly...I don't blame H for that..why would you want to be almost confined to a bedroom living in a house that you do not even know the people.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I bought a condo near my job and moved there. I knew I wasn't going back.


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## KeepLookingUp (Feb 6, 2014)

I lucked out and found an basement suite that was semi furnished. I'm in a 6 month lease, 3 months in and I don't know what the future holds. I may move back home with W, or perhaps my next stop is my own place? I'm no psychic, just living day by day and using the time for self reflection.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

She left... went home to mommy and daddy's.

She didn't work while she was married to me... She just rode arround in that new car that I bought her and had lunch with various girl friends.

Even thought she was unemployed...she didn't have time to cook, clean house, wash clothes, etc. etc. etc. Mostly what she did was pout... and complain.

Since she didn't work.. she had no income until she got her property settlement and I started paying her alimony... See, at the time, because she had no income... the state considered her an invalid. I had to support her in the manner she had become accustomed to. The state didn't care if I lived in a card board box under a bridge.. but she had to be supported in the manner to which she became accustomed to. My mistake was getting her accustomed to too high a standard of living.

And the biggest peever of all... when we were dating.. we had a very active and satisfying love life. But, once she ate that wedding cake... she said, she, "Needed a little more time to get used to the concept of having sex" with her husband. Is there a difference between having sex with a boy friend and having sex with a husband?

Do you understand why I was a little hesitant to get married again?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

She moved into her brother's finished and mostly furnished basement. I don't know how long she was or if she still is there. I know she could do whatever she wanted. He was not a friend of the marriage.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

hambone said:


> She left... went home to mommy and daddy's.
> 
> She didn't work while she was married to me... She just rode arround in that new car that I bought her and had lunch with various girl friends.
> 
> ...


I'm curious (and not judging you)... But looking back, were there warning signs you missed that should have shown you that getting married to her was a mistake?

C


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

PBear said:


> I'm curious (and not judging you)... But looking back, were there warning signs you missed that should have shown you that getting married to her was a mistake?
> 
> C


We had a wonderful courtship... A LOT of fun..

About 2 or 3 weeks before our wedding... she changed..

She had 7 sisters. Two or 3 of her sisters had eloped. She was the first daughter to have a church wedding. Her mother was all up in her kool-aid. She would say, "I'm gonna have xyz in our wedding". And her mother would say... "I'm NOT having.... I mean, you don't want to have XYZ in your wedding... ABC would look much nicer". She was ALL stressed out. So I thought.. as soon as we got married and I got her away from her mother.. she'll settle down and things will get back to normal.

Didn't happen.

Came Sat. night... I start getting ready to go out dancing... "I'm not going dancing any more!".... She just totally quit doing all the stuff we did routinely when we were dating. 

I remember one time... she said she was going to the grocery store and I asked her to buy some oranges and she told me. "I'm NOT GOING down the produce aisle!!!". 

I hung in there 2.5 years before she left me.

All together.. for that 2.5 years of misery back in 1986... it cost me $50,000 between property settlement, alimony, and attorney's fees.


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## Welsh TXN (Feb 4, 2012)

I was the one that moved out and very glad I did, I had no say in the home that i had with my ex wife, it went like this 
exw: I like this new mirror its $300
me: OK where will it go ? 
exw: in the tv room 
me: we already have 2 mirrors in there
exw: ok it would be a bit over kill wouldn't it, we should get it.

week later, 
exw: i bought that mirror will you put it up 
me : thought we agreed we didn't need it.
exw: but it was so pretty i couldn't resist.

This type of thing happened all the time, i left with what i came into the marriage with a mattress and a box spring, my clothes and my hunting equipment, my truck and electronics (tv and Computer). i started all over again, they way i wanted it.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

The first couple of nights he spent at a hotel.

He then spent a couple of weeks living with a friend and his mom.

He then got his own apartment, month to month lease.

He continued to pay the mortgage on the house that I had kicked him out of.

He then moved back home.


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## justforfun1222 (Feb 6, 2013)

I stayed in the house since it was mine, and he moved out and got a years lease on an apartment.. no discussion just did it. I wanted out of the marriage, but I guess my ego was damaged when he left so I wanted him back, a year later we get back together and 4 years later I wish I would have just stayed single!~ He showed me NO attention after the first 3 months of reconciliation and then my Mom died and we moved in with my Dad to help take care of him, well I helped to take care of him, all he wanted was my dad to pay off his bills. Now my father has also passed and I have inherited money and he is stuck up my behind again. I am just about to finish a degree in Paralegal Studies if I can ever get enough time for myself to do that~ Now he wants me to be with him all the time.. makes me kinda sick to my stomach! This time once again the house is mine, it is my inheritance and I have been careful to not mix my inheritance with marital funds, he left me with nothing last time, but that is a long long story! Here it is Valentine's Day and I want to go and spend it with my BFF's and not my hubby cause all we are gonna do is go out to dinner come home, and he will fall asleep watching tv.. I am not getting any younger..  and I miss having a life!


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