# oh silly Apple, will you ever learn?



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Why do I keep torturing myself? When will I ever learn? I know better, yet I do it anyways. Here is what silly little Apple did....she looked up the ex and the ow online. I told myself before I was not going to look them up anymore because each time I do, I end up seeing something I wish I hadn't. But tonight I looked them up and what was on tonight's episode of "what I wish I hadnt seen"? Well, it included my exH posting on the ow's FB wall about how he loves her and misses her and how he will always fight to win her heart because she is sooooooo special (ugh!) then I also found that she made herself another FB where she is using his last name as hers. WTF. Now I am positive they have not gotten married but seriously now? And she is writing about how she loves him and wants him and all that crap that makes one want to jam pencils into their skull. The ironic part is that she tells her exBF the same line. She loves him, she wants to be with him, she wants to have his baby. It's comical in the sense that the one my ex wants is playing him, and even more comical is that he is fully aware of this but he still fights for her. Which of course gets me really upset because why the fvck couldn't he have been this devoted to me and our marriage?!?!?!?!?! What is so danged amazing about her that he obsesses over? I mean, can she dislocate her jaw???? Gaaaaahhhhh. Why couldnt our marriage been as important? Why couldnt I have been the one he crazed over? Why was I not worth it to him? I gave him nearly 15 years of my life. I need to ban myself from the computer. I'm never going to get out of this depression if I keep looking him up. :banghead:


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Your ExH fog is as thick as HiT's WW. I don't know, maybe she gives a mean BJ or something. It's just so sickening. Block both of them and be done with it. If your trigger to look him up is your computer, then yes, take a break from it for at least a week.


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## elph (Apr 2, 2011)

WTF are they 12 years old? 

I feel your frustration but it is morbidly funny. I mean that little love triangle is from a bad soap opera. 

I'd have a drink and make fun of her other pica on her FB account. She sounds pretty stupid, she probaly has stupid pix. 

I'm in a bad mood too. Can we facebook bomb her or something. I'm feeling evil.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Your ExH fog is as thick as HiT's WW. I don't know, maybe she gives a mean BJ or something. It's just so sickening. Block both of them and be done with it. If your trigger to look him up is your computer, then yes, take a break from it for at least a week.


I'm not familiar with HiT? Is this another forum user?


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## biggu5 (Jun 20, 2011)

I know it is hard and it sucks but time to let go. Quit torturing yourself. Read Morituri's post "Just let go" in the morning, at lunch, on breaks, at dinner, before you go to bed. Hell I even wrote it down on my mirror with white board markers in my bathroom. Ask your self those questions before you want to look and find things out you don't want the answers to. Let go and start healing...


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## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Your ExH fog is as thick as HiT's WW. I don't know, maybe she gives a mean BJ or something. It's just so sickening. Block both of them and be done with it. If your trigger to look him up is your computer, then yes, take a break from it for at least a week.



Could be lord, when I ask my Husband when I ask about the affair when I first found out I ask: well what was she doing sucking and swallowing and he sais, "yeah she did some of that too"... hey I'm not a man but I guess that gets you some where huh. I do the Bj and the HJ but not swallow so if thats what it takes for him to cheat then hey have at it.

Think of it this way Apple, he wasn't for you. The MAN that is for you is still ou there and that piece of crap will regret that he wasn't and could never be what you deserved.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

elph said:


> WTF are they 12 years old?
> 
> I feel your frustration but it is morbidly funny. I mean that little love triangle is from a bad soap opera.
> 
> ...


It is funny because when I confronted her exBF about her affair with my husband, he began telling me everything that was going on between them, all 3 of them. He still today will text me with updates. It's like my own live action soap opera and while it is funny as all heck, it can also be darn right frustrating because if my ex had only put as much effort into our marriage as he is with this ow, we'd probably have a good life together.


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## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

biggu5 said:


> I know it is hard and it sucks but time to let go. Quit torturing yourself. Read Morituri's post "Just let go" in the morning, at lunch, on breaks, at dinner, before you go to bed. Hell I even wrote it down on my mirror with white board markers in my bathroom. Ask your self those questions before you want to look and find things out you don't want the answers to. Let go and start healing...


MAn thats so easier said....yet how I long for it. Can't wait until I stop obessing!!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

biggu5 said:


> I know it is hard and it sucks but time to let go. Quit torturing yourself. Read Morituri's post "Just let go" in the morning, at lunch, on breaks, at dinner, before you go to bed. Hell I even wrote it down on my mirror with white board markers in my bathroom. Ask your self those questions before you want to look and find things out you don't want the answers to. Let go and start healing...


I have. I printed it out while back, before my D was final. I read it so many times. It's one of my fav threads on TAM. I will do good for a few days but then I will just want to know whats going on and I look them up and with them not being smart enough to make their online social networking lives private, I see it all. Then again, they may enjoy leaving it open for me to see too.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I'm not familiar with HiT? Is this another forum user?


HurtinginTN


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> HurtinginTN


Oh yes, I know who you mean now


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## biggu5 (Jun 20, 2011)

Hang in there Apple. Every time you want to check find something else to do. Journal, exercise, clean the house, post here first so we can tell you to STOP! If you haven't done so already rebuild your social network. Go out and live your life so they can see YOU not only surving, but thriving. Take your power and control back and don't let him control how you feel. It is hard and it sucks like I stated before but the feeling of enpowering yourself is incredible. Life is to short to be pissed off and sad all the time. We all deserve to live life to the fullest and be happy. LET GO!


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## loveless25 (Jan 5, 2011)

I do the same thing sometimes I look at her page and see how she lies to her bf. I feel like telling him. The sick thing that I found out was that she likes everything that I like!!! The same movies,books, and interests! Its sad all she talks about is drinking and lame partys she went to where she had her ankle broken. who would brag about that? Theyre so sad and twisted in the head.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Why do I keep torturing myself?:


Slaps Apples knuckles. STOP IT.. Mind you 

I can talk.. 
Mine was a full "hit self in head with baseball bat" moment.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

You are going through what I think of as the “detaching process”. Some say it takes a month for every year together. If that’s true I’m some 18 months into a four year process. There is a lot to detach from financially, physically, psychologically and emotionally. I also think on it as the great un-entanglement process.

Going fully No Contact seriously helps, but is impossible if children are involved. I think on the term “Blanking” but I’m not very good at it as still not a day goes by when I don’t think multiple times about my stbxw. It is very important though not to sneak looks at facebook pages etc.

At the moment I replace my negative thoughts by saying “I forgive you” three times every time a negative thought arises. This is because I fundamentally believe we are anchored to, entangled with another person as much by our dislike for them as we were by our love for them.

But I’ve come to accept that the memories are now part of my life and that even in the best of times I will still reflect on the past, I hope that eventually I will be able to forgive and be left with just my fond memories.

But I think the very best “cure” for all this is to replace our negative thoughts of the past with positive thoughts of the present and future. And to do this it is very important to enjoy what we are blessed with today while working towards a better and brighter future.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Apple, don't feel badl. We all have setbacks. Thing is, you gotta focus on the present & future & not the past. 

It's all really sad for your ex and this skank and the poor boyfriend. But too bad so sad for them. He's a lunatic.



elph said:


> I'm in a bad mood too. Can we facebook bomb her or something. I'm feeling evil.


Hilarious



sexuallyfustrated said:


> Could be lord, when I ask my Husband when I ask about the affair when I first found out I ask: well what was she doing sucking and swallowing and he sais, "yeah she did some of that too"...


Oh wow. WTF. Seriously? Who says that to his wife?



AppleDucklings said:


> It is funny because when I confronted her exBF about her affair with my husband, he began telling me everything that was going on between them, all 3 of them. He still today will text me with updates.


What kind of updates does he give you?

I have a feeling your ex and the OW are going to crash and burn in the most beautiful way possible. And I want front row tickets when it happens.

Don't worry about them. They are LOSERS with a capital L.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Apple, don't feel badl. We all have setbacks. Thing is, you gotta focus on the present & future & not the past.
> 
> It's all really sad for your ex and this skank and the poor boyfriend. But too bad so sad for them. He's a lunatic.
> 
> ...


From what the exBF will relay to me, my ex and the ow do fight alot, and about the exBF. My ex wants her to end things with the exBF and be with him only but she wont do it, just the same as the exBF wants her to end contact with my exH but she wont do that either. She is on the biggest cake eating binge one could imagine right now and as much as my ex and the exBF are having themselves a "manly contest" against each other, they are only feeding her more cake. The last news I heard was that the exBF and her had sex a few days ago, she told my exH about this and he flew off the handle at her, telling her to go eff off. She gets all crazy upset, and cried and pleads with him not to be angry at her which most likely led to all the pitiful "I love you and miss you" comments on FB I read. Funny how he cheats on his wife, she cheats on her BF, but yet they get upset at each other for being with other people :scratchhead:


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

ing said:


> Slaps Apples knuckles. STOP IT.. Mind you
> 
> I can talk..
> Mine was a full "hit self in head with baseball bat" moment.


I'm thinking maybe that's what I need. A good ol' whack upside the skull with a ball bat.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

AFEH said:


> You are going through what I think of as the “detaching process”. Some say it takes a month for every year together. If that’s true I’m some 18 months into a four year process. There is a lot to detach from financially, physically, psychologically and emotionally. I also think on it as the great un-entanglement process.
> 
> Going fully No Contact seriously helps, but is impossible if children are involved. I think on the term “Blanking” but I’m not very good at it as still not a day goes by when I don’t think multiple times about my stbxw. It is very important though not to sneak looks at facebook pages etc.
> 
> ...


I was with him for 15 years all together, since I was 19 years old. I blame myself alot for trying so hard to have a good, happy marriage when I knew he was out cheating. I thought if only I loved him enough, he would love me too and then he would see how good of a wife I am and...*sighs*....I was so stupid. I wasted the past 15 years of my life on someone who never actually loved me at all.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> From what the exBF will relay to me, my ex and the ow do fight alot, and about the exBF. My ex wants her to end things with the exBF and be with him only but she wont do it, just the same as the exBF wants her to end contact with my exH but she wont do that either. She is on the biggest cake eating binge one could imagine right now and as much as my ex and the exBF are having themselves a "manly contest" against each other, they are only feeding her more cake. The last news I heard was that the exBF and her had sex a few days ago, she told my exH about this and he flew off the handle at her, telling her to go eff off. She gets all crazy upset, and cried and pleads with him not to be angry at her which most likely led to all the pitiful "I love you and miss you" comments on FB I read. Funny how he cheats on his wife, she cheats on her BF, but yet they get upset at each other for being with other people :scratchhead:


What a joke!!! The thing is, even if she and her boyf end it and she and your exH get together fully, I bte he's always going to resent her for the fact she "fcked around" on him in the beginning and wasn't true to him. Ironic, yes? But hilarious at the same time.

I will have popcorn on standby so we can watch together  It's gonna be EPIC.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Oh, I cannot wait to watch it all burn. Like you said, it will happen in the most beautiful way possible. And when it does, I imagine that great slow motion action scene with an upbeat modern version of Beethoven's ode to joy playing in the background.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgAh95IrfIs


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

^ LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! That will be a great song to play in the background!

Apple, I recently saw on FB that the suspected OW my H cheated with has pics of her and a new boyfriend tongue-kissing all over her page and the boyfriend's page loudly proclaiming how "in love" they are. Hahahahaha. She also had a "new" boyfriend supposedly at the time she cheated on him with my husband that she was also "so into" and also supposedly had a long-term boyfriend throughout. It's so confusing but I just thought, Yaaay! 

Meanwhile exH's FB reads like an 18 yr olds...hitting the club every weekend and posting about it. He updated his status "Hee hee life is good" around the time I signed the divorce and the house yet he still texts how he misses me and wants to have sex with me. Oh and most of his pics online are from all of our vacations together. WTF.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

Like sands through the hourglass...










TURN THE FU*CKING CHANNEL APPLE!!! This sh*t is gonna rot your mind!!.

:rofl:


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> Like sands through the hourglass...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


:rofl: No kidding, right? 
It's like that dead thing on the side of the road. It's so gross, so smelly, full of maggots but yet you just gotta go take a look, perhaps even poke it with a stick but then you immediently regret doing so because the smell and the sight is so horrible.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Another perspective to consider, Apple: You aren't seriously wishing you were still togethger so that he could post lots of crap and assorted bull***t on Facebook, are you?  think about it. That's really just adolescence in action, not really *working* at making a successful relationship... plenty of people can post junk on Facebook then go be a total d**chebag in real life. FB and the 'net are giving you a highly skewed view of reality. 

I agree with p-o-m-s: Change the channel. Unless, of course, you can get to a place where you're able to use it strictly for comedic entertainment purposes only!


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

2xloser said:


> I agree with p-o-m-s:


 listen 2XL... It's PIT..... PIT, PIT, PIT, PIT, PIT!!!!!!!!!!

<<<<<<- Read there plz, k? thnx!

lol. :rofl:


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Ooops, sorry PIT-POMS! (.....kiiiiidding....!) 
My bad. Never again, PIT.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

2xloser said:


> Another perspective to consider, Apple: You aren't seriously wishing you were still togethger so that he could post lots of crap and assorted bull***t on Facebook, are you?  think about it. That's really just adolescence in action, not really *working* at making a successful relationship... plenty of people can post junk on Facebook then go be a total d**chebag in real life. FB and the 'net are giving you a highly skewed view of reality.
> 
> I agree with p-o-m-s: Change the channel. Unless, of course, you can get to a place where you're able to use it strictly for comedic entertainment purposes only!


wish I was still together with him? :rofl: No. Not even a little. I hate what he did to me and everything he has put me through. What bothers me though is the way he chases after this ow to love him. Why couldn't he have been so committed to us?


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Sorry, I know you don't wish you were still with him. Bad implication to making my point of the adolescent behavior you're able to see and not the real working committment to a real relationship.

As to 'why', I'd only venture a guess of "because you didn't make him need to chase you"...? Of course, I don't know. Some people need & want the drama? Also we're all too aware of why the 180 works, and why the Nice Guy Syndrome so often fails. For some of us (certainly myself a former Mr Nice Guy) it just doesn't make any sense.

Nevertheless, don't torture yourself with seeking out and watching the drama. You're so much better, and so much better off!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I started doing the 180 soon as I found about on this site. It has done nothing for my ex. It didnt pull his attention back to me in the least but, it has helped me, which I know that's what it's supposed to do. The 180 is for you. Doing the 180 gave me the strength to throw him out of the house and it gave me the strength to go ahead with the divorce and its given me the strength to trudge on after the divorce even though I have moments where I am very hard on myself. I do hope one day the karma bus not only runs him over but it backs up and hits him again.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> From what the exBF will relay to me, my ex and the ow do fight alot, and about the exBF. My ex wants her to end things with the exBF and be with him only but she wont do it, just the same as the exBF wants her to end contact with my exH but she wont do that either. She is on the biggest cake eating binge one could imagine right now and as much as my ex and the exBF are having themselves a "manly contest" against each other, they are only feeding her more cake. The last news I heard was that the exBF and her had sex a few days ago, she told my exH about this and he flew off the handle at her, telling her to go eff off. She gets all crazy upset, and cried and pleads with him not to be angry at her which most likely led to all the pitiful "I love you and miss you" comments on FB I read. Funny how he cheats on his wife, she cheats on her BF, but yet they get upset at each other for being with other people :scratchhead:


Geez, the skank is eating tons of cake.  The two idiots are stroking her ego like there's no tomorrow. Does she have a magic kitty or something? She can't be all that. She's playing a dangerous game. She'll be lucky if she doesn't make the news and end up on the coroner's table with a toe tag. Happens all the time. You just never know how people will react or do when they're pushed to the edge.

This is seriously some Jerry Springer sh!t.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

lordmayhem said:


> Geez, the skank is eating tons of cake.  The two idiots are stroking her ego like there's no tomorrow. Does she have a magic kitty or something? She can't be all that. She's playing a dangerous game. She'll be lucky if she doesn't make the news and end up on the coroner's table with a toe tag. Happens all the time. You just never know how people will react or do when they're pushed to the edge.
> 
> This is seriously some Jerry Springer sh!t.


Yes, it is. I probably wouldn't even believe it if I wasnt watching it happen in real llife. The funny part is that my exH and this ow had their fling from Nov 2010 to Feb 2011 when she broke it off with him bc she wanted to be with exBF and exBF had found out about her and my exH and said she needed to end contact with my exH. This is when they took their little love fest underground. They were exposed again in April when I caught them together in her car parked 2 houses down from mine. Now she has them both fighting for her affection. Perhaps she does have a magic kitty or she can open her mouth reaaaalll wide, IDK what her magical powers are but my exH and her exBF are both cuckoo right now. The exBF seems to be very happy to give me updates on the fights that her and my exH keep having. And what do they fight about the most? Trust. They dont trust each other. Gee, ya think? :scratchhead:


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

elph said:


> WTF are they 12 years old?
> 
> I feel your frustration but it is morbidly funny. I mean that little love triangle is from a bad soap opera.
> 
> ...


Apples:

Could they be deliberately putting stuff on their FB pages because they know that you are reading them?

Just trying to get under your skin?

Just a thought.

VH


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

today has been a trigger day for me. Actually the whole first week of July is a trigger. Today (July 1st) is my daughter's birthday. I did her party without him. July 3, is our son's birthday. I will be doing that without him also. July 6th is the anniversary of our first ever date. That day would have marked 15 years together for us (married 14 years) Yeah, this week blows.


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

Trigger days are horrible. My daughter had her prom the week after we split up. We could have been proud parents seeing her off. Thinking of you.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

It sucks that there is still a part of us that still loves our ex-spouses despite the God awful pain they inflicted on us.

My ex-wife is going thru an emotional meltdown since our last accidental encounter a few months ago. She tried to give me her phone number and when I told her that it wouldn't be a good idea considering that I was in a serious relationship with another woman. The look of deep pain on her face is something that still haunts me. Our mutual friend informed me that my ex is frantically trying to get a hold of where I live. She said she is worried that my ex is on the verge of suicide and may need intervention from those closest to her. This absolutely is breaking my heart apple.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I will be sending up some prayers for ex wife, Morituri. Hopefully she can find peace. 

There is a couple that my husband and I are both very good friends with and they have remained neutral between the both of us. I was visiting with the wife last night and she was telling me that recently my exhusband had gone over to their house to visit with her husband. From what she told me, her H really laid into my exH, telling him how stupid and irresponsible his actions have been, and that how his repeated affairs on me were disgusting. My exH just kept saying he did not want to hear any of it. My ex also said that things were over with him and the ow. (I have not yet confirmed this) What I do know of that is the homewrecker slept with her exBF, told my exH what she did. He got all upset with her and told her to eff off. I do find it funny that the one who cheats, gets cheated on and then gets offended by that???? Now I am seeing the homewrecker pull the same desperate attempt to keep my exH that she pulled to keep her exBF. The pattern in her behavior is that she wants both of them but if one starts to pull away, she lets loose of the other just enough to pull the one who has pulled away back in. Once she feels comfortable enough that the one she just pulled back in, is hers again, she goes back after the one she let loose a little to pull them back in. Now, for the best part...she texted me this morning. She asked me what size ring he wears. Hahahahahahaha. What a dumb *****. And no, I did not respond back although I was tempted to and to tell her that rings really were not his forte, and that a collar would do much better considering he is a dog.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

WTF? She actually was brazen enough to text you and ask you that? WOW! That chick is definitely nuts!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> WTF? She actually was brazen enough to text you and ask you that? WOW! That chick is definitely nuts!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know, right? Ummm...lets see here, you loony, you sleep with my husband while I am still married to him, knowing full well he is a married man, you would not walk away when asked, a marriage and a family was destroyed and you took part in that and now you want me to tell you his ring size?!?!?!?!?!?!? Are you fvcking serious!!! How is one person so incredibly insane that they would ask the ex-wife of the man they were cheating with, his ring size?? Does she expect my blessing?


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

She thrives on drama. Do you know what would piss her off more than anything? Telling her his ring size. She gets off on believing she has what you want. Take that away from her and I'm sure she'll be searching for another man to steal in no time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> She thrives on drama. Do you know what would piss her off more than anything? Telling her his ring size. She gets off on believing she has what you want. Take that away from her and I'm sure she'll be searching for another man to steal in no time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She does thrive off the drama. Her online social life (FB, myspace, twitter) is nothing but her drama. She talks about how she is drinking and crying because she is "just not good enough" (oh boo hoo) and then her friends will comment and say "but you are good enough" and "dont think that way" She will say sh*t like she is ugly (well, yeah duh) and her friends will comment and say "no, you are so pretty" About 2 months ago now, she attempted suicide, as a means for attention really. She took just enough sleeping pills for a stomach ache but still had to be hospitalized. 
I'm not texting her back. This is twice now she has tried to contact me about different things. I refuse to give her any feed back.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Now she has told my ex that she will marry him tomorrow if that is what it takes to "prove" her love for him. I do not know what he has said but what I do laugh at is the way he is acting so hurt and playing poor victim because she slept with someone else, even though he treated me the exact same way!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> listen 2XL... It's PIT..... PIT, PIT, PIT, PIT, PIT!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> <<<<<<- Read there plz, k? thnx!
> 
> lol. :rofl:


:rofl: It never ends.But hey at least it wasn't POS right? 



AppleDucklings said:


> Now, for the best part...she texted me this morning. She asked me what size ring he wears. Hahahahahahaha. What a dumb *****. And no, I did not respond back although *I was tempted to and to tell her that rings really were not his forte, and that a collar would do much better considering he is a dog*.


:smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:

What a hag. Yeah i woudln't respond to her OR you could tell her his ring size but at this point... I don't even think she is worth responding to anymore. She isn't worth any effort on your part and doesn't merit any type of response. She is TRASH. Skanky stinky trash. 

You could always call up your phone company & have her # blocked.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> Now she has told my ex that she will marry him tomorrow if that is what it takes to "prove" her love for him. I do not know what he has said but what I do laugh at is the way he is acting so hurt and playing poor victim because she slept with someone else, even though he treated me the exact same way!


Do you have a lawyer lined up? With her recent suicide attempt I'm sure you'll be able to keep her away from the children should they decide to spend the rest of their lives :coughsixmonthscough: together.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

This afternoon I was just relaxing on the couch watching tv and my 7 yr old daughter came in to sit with me. She cuddles up with me and I hug her. She then says to me that she knows that daddy still loves his entire family. I asked her who she meant. She said "you, me, my brothers and sister" I did not say anything, I only hugged her. She says to me "I know daddy still loves you so much, mommy". I asked her how does she know that and she said she asked daddy if he still loved me and he said yes. All I could do was hug her some more. She goes on next to say that daddy wants to come home and be a family again. I asked her if daddy told her that, she said no, that she just knew he wanted to. Once again, I did all I could and I just hugged her. It breaks my heart that she has hope for her family still when there is none. I hate what my ex did to our family with his cheating and his lies. I hate that my baby girl has such high hopes for her dad coming home when he's not. I wont let him.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I hate what my ex did to our family with his cheating and his lies. I hate that my baby girl has such high hopes for her dad coming home when he's not. I wont let him.


Oh apple. [[hugs]] I had a similar thing. It breaks my heart. My 12 year old is waiting for this to end. They don't want her back in the house though.. Interesting.

I was getting regular "I love you" emails from the ex and she was telling the kids the same thing at the same time trying to introduce the OM to them. EPIC FAIL

I stopped it for the kids.
I asked her: 
"Stop the affair if you love me. 
If she don't love me. Continue it." 

She said she would at 11am[oh ****] but true to form by 7pm the same day she was back to normal. [phew]

Of course I knew that she wouldn't but it was a high stakes game that took its toll on me. 
It has least made her realize that she needs to let me go. This week anyway.

Once we start locking them out they use the kids to access our hearts. Fcukwits.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Yes, but he has not told me he loves me. Not since May 1st anyways. That was the last time he said I Love you to me. He's shown no remorse, no regret for anything. I would not take him back but I wish he would get run over by the karma bus already.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I would not take him back but I wish he would get run over by the karma bus already.


I assure you that the Karma bus is filling up its tank, fitting on the bullbars and installing new industrial strength 'super twisty spikey' tyres.
It's going to be messy.

Oh yes.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> I assure you that the Karma bus is filling up its tank, fitting on the bullbars and installing new industrial strength 'super twisty spikey' tyres.
> It's going to be messy.
> 
> Oh yes.


Karma takes time. Gets you in the end.


Thankyou.. Made me laugh.

Talking of a laugh..

I just had a lovely day of poking around shops, drinking good wine and then a snog [pash, whatever] in the car before we returned to real life of children, jobs, bills.. blah blah.

For all the world we look like we are having an affair..

I mean. Snogging. in the car..Who does that in there mid forties!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

ing said:


> Karma takes time. Gets you in the end.
> 
> 
> Thankyou.. Made me laugh.
> ...


lololol a good snog can happen anywhere  Glad to hear you've had a good day. It's early morning here, just past 8:30 AM. I know I won't get any snogging today but perhaps a glass of wine later on?
Hey Numb Badger, I think may have to add the word "snogging" to my list of fun words to say, lol


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> I assure you that the Karma bus is filling up its tank, fitting on the bullbars and installing new industrial strength 'super twisty spikey' tyres.
> It's going to be messy.
> 
> Oh yes.


the karma bus can run him over, put it in reverse and whack him again.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The funny thing about Karma is she shows up when nobody is ever expecting her.


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> The funny thing about Karma is she shows up when nobody is ever expecting her.


She's fashionably late


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That's how you know she's a b!tch! :rofl:


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

She's only a ***** to those who forget she's there.


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## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

AppleDucklings said:


> the karma bus can run him over, put it in reverse and whack him again.


There is a song my son really like that goes: The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round........ Now let's hope that is the karma bus:smthumbup:


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

So, a bit of a trigger today. It wasn't anything that made me angry and nothing that made me cry but it was more like an "ugh" moment. One of my dearest friends is engaged to be married. Her and her man have been engaged a few months now and today I got an email that they finally set a date and they will be married in 2013 in Jamaica. While I am very happy for my friends, I cant help but to have a little pity party. It's like why wasnt I good enough for my husband? Whats so wrong with me that I cant have someone to love me too?.....sighs........


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## Numb-badger (May 18, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Whats so wrong with me


Sorry, AD, but that's the wrong question.
Try this:
What was so wrong with my husband that he didn't have the courage to stand and face his commitments and his responsibilities to me and the marriage?

That's what needs answering.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Numb-badger said:


> Sorry, AD, but that's the wrong question.
> Try this:
> What was so wrong with my husband that he didn't have the courage to stand and face his commitments and his responsibilities to me and the marriage?
> 
> That's what needs answering.


Yeah! What was wrong with him anyways! The Asshat!!!


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

So, you know that little thing I have about looking sh*t up on the computer and how sometimes I tend to find things I wish I hadn't? ....yeah.....I just discovered that my ex had yet another other woman. I don't know what the details are on this other-other one yet so far, such as how long it was going on, were they shagging or not, crap like that but I feel totally dumb right now. I mean it was bad enough that I knew there had been 2 other women since Nov 2010 but now a third one!!!!! Holy blow me away Batman. I'm in complete shock.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Holy blow me away Batman. I'm in complete shock.


I am so sorry.
Just another validation of your decision apple! DELETE it.
Don't look anymore my friend. 
Just history. .

I am SO glad I am not him. What a ****ed up life he chose to live.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Like I said, I dont know any details of this other-other one but knowing how I know him, the odds are very high that he was shagging this one too. How could he do this sh*t to me? I loved him. I was faithful to him. I was the kind of wife to him that all you men on here wish you had but yet, he does this to me. It's over. I divorced him. I'm not supposed to cry anymore but yet here I am sobbing like a baby. I'm so hurt right now.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> Like I said, I dont know any details of this other-other one but knowing how I know him, the odds are very high that he was shagging this one too. How could he do this sh*t to me? I loved him. I was faithful to him. I was the kind of wife to him that all you men on here wish you had but yet, he does this to me. It's over. I divorced him. I'm not supposed to cry anymore but yet here I am sobbing like a baby. I'm so hurt right now.


First of I want to thank you for your prayer for my ex-wife who is in a psychiatric hospital due to a suicidal attempt. It means a lot to me.

Dear apple, I wish that I could find the words that could help take away your pain away. Sadly I can only offer a virtual hug to my sister in arms.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> So, you know that little thing I have about looking sh*t up on the computer and how sometimes I tend to find things I wish I hadn't? ....yeah.....I just discovered that my ex had yet another other woman. I don't know what the details are on this other-other one yet so far, such as how long it was going on, were they shagging or not, crap like that but I feel totally dumb right now. I mean it was bad enough that I knew there had been 2 other women since Nov 2010 but now a third one!!!!! Holy blow me away Batman. I'm in complete shock.


What a piece of work. And not surprising. Be soooo glad you divorced thisfool. Seriously. Oh and stop checking up on him online.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

This is just one of those kick-yourself times. How could one be so stupid as to be married to someone like him? I mean, I knew he had it in him to be a cheater. He'd done it before. I'm hating myself today for taking him back back in 2005 when he begged me for another chance. I hate myself for believing him when he said he was changed. I'm feeling really, really stupid. It's making me question my own self worth all over again.


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## Qwilleran (Jun 11, 2011)

Hi Apple,

So sorry to hear all the sh*t you've had to endure. Please try to remember that you have been the honorable partner throughout this whole sordid mess. Hold your head high and know that your conscience is clear as you went above and beyond your duty as a spouse. :smthumbup:

My own marriage of 25 years with a WW wife has taught me much about maintaining proper boundaries to retain your own self respect/self worth. If I ever get involved with another person who cheats you can bet the first time WILL BE THE LAST TIME!

Take care of yourself and let your SO reap what he has so richly planted for himself in the years to come!

Qwill


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

I just wanted to stop in and let you all know that I had a great day today. I mean that. Today was great. I met up with a group of friends and we rode motorcycles along the Mississippi River in Iowa, traveling about 2 hours north then we crossed the river over into Illinois where we stopped and rested then rode back home. Being on the open road, on the back of the bike was just the most incredible feeling. I did not think once about my ex or all the stress he has caused , for those 6 hours today, I was free. It was great.


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## reindeer (Mar 24, 2011)

So glad you had a good day apple. I just googled those two places to see what they look like. 

Funny-I was only thinking yesterday, 'I wonder when I will start to get times when I am not thinking about ex/my situation etc. It always seems with me, even if in the back of my mind.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Well, my exhusband has dumped his other woman for....are you ready for this.....another woman. HA! In a way, I do feel a bit justified but at the same time I feel really angry because my ex was actually apologizing the skank, saying he was sorry for hurting her, saying how he put so much effort into them but because she wouldnt let go of her OM, he was now too tired for them. WTF! Now she is all crying and begging him to love her. WTF! I just want to go beat the fog right outta them both. They are acting as if I was never even part of the picture. I was his wife for crying out loud! It just pisses me off how she can act as if my husband actually belonged to her. My ex never apologized to me. He never told me he was sorry for hurting me and making me cry but the ***** gets his "I'm sorry's" Grrrrrrrrrrr.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

That is just more confirmation that he truly cannot commit to anyone for any length of time, Apple. 

Be so glad you are rid of that fool.

Stop checking up on him.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

"stop checking up on him" 
LOL, you keep saying that. I just want to watch him burn already. I'm at home trying to raise our 3 children while he's running around doing whatever he wants. He sees his daughter for maybe 6 hrs a week. (our 2 teenage boys refuse to have anything to do with him) He gets to cheat on me, he gets to walk away from his responsibilities and so far, he has no consequences. While Im barely keeping my head above water with bills, with maintaining the home and everything else.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I do keep saying that and will keep saying that because you need to get it in your head that checking up on him is causing you more damage than good. It's hindering your ability to heal and move on.


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