# World has fallen apart



## ukguy (Jul 13, 2012)

Hi Guys,

I dont really know where to start so sorry if this is a bit disjointed. My wife told me on Wednesday night that she dosent love me any more and wanted to seperate.

We've been together 8 years and have a little boy of 18 months.
The last year has been a really tough one for both of us, My business failed, I lost the first job I got after my business failed and was unemployed for 6 months, We had no money to pay the bills let alone socialise and quite frankly with hindsight I was an ass. I had a 100% conviction that our marrige was solid but without realising at the time seriously took my wife for granted, did nothing around the house, didnt spend enough time with my son, was moody, miserable and unappreciative. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I wish I could of taken the blinkers off and realised this when I was being such a prat. However how best to move on from here,

So when my wife told me it was like a bombshell, and I reacted like a sap, crying begging her to make it work etc, reminding her of the good times etc. She agreed to stay and give it a shot so I'm optimistic there is a chance otherwise shed have just walked away when the hard part was done was my thoughts.

Over the last few days I've had time to think about where and when things started to go wrong and the opinions ive come to our the ones I mentioned above. I told her yesterday that I loved her, had had time to think and understood that my behaviour over the last 6 months or so was unacceptable, That I would help around the house a lot more, be less grumpy and quick to anger, spend more time with our son and basically fix myself up, not just for her but for me, That i would give her space and not puppydog around her.

Is there a chance that my marrige can be saved do you think or should i accept its probably over.


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## ukguy (Jul 13, 2012)

looks like i posted this in the wrong section, sorry


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## Nod (Jul 2, 2012)

What do you mean by fix yourself up? Have you let yourself go physically? If so, that is priority 1. Go to the gym asap! Lose weight if needed. Also, make sure your wardrobe is up to date. Dress like you are going on a date everyday & use cologne. This will not only be good for your wife, but also good for you. 

Also don't force the issue with her. It may be hard, but work on yourself & let her have her space. Try not to initiate sex, as that could annoy her for now. Tell her how beautiful she is at least once a day. Let the little things go.

With all of that said, you have to prepare yourself that it's too late. There could be another man involved. But don't accuse unless you have solid evidence. 

If after all of this, she still wants to separate, well then tell her that she can be the one to leave, not you. Don't give up your bed or house to appease her. Depending on what is really going on will determine how to proceed. I realize you see your faults, but women can be very manipulative into making us men think it's all our fault. To be honest, she just didn't wake up one day & thought to herself that she no longer loves you. So she is also at fault for not talking to you before it got to this point. 

Keep posting... Especially to get unbiased points of view. Good luck!


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