# Our marriage is no work at all !!!



## MarriedinVegas

The wife and I were discussing our relationship last night and wonder how it is that our relationship is absolutly no work at all.
Our friends have problems with sex, money, honest, trust, cheating, lieing and a host of others issues that end up needing to be worked on.
But for us, since day 1 it has been easy. 
I think it is due to a few reasons.
1 ) when we got married the guy marrying us told us to give what we desire. as in, if you want more sex give more sex, if you want more hugs give more hugs and so on and so on. We have followed this all throught our marriage, I like my feet rubbed, so what do I do? I rub her feet. and she in turn loves it and will grab my feet and rub mine also. This works on almost anything in our relationship.

2 ) when we were first married we asked some old family members who have been married for at least 40 to 50 years what advice they had, just about all of them told us, " share each others hobbies and do as much together as you can " We do this also we hang out with each other each and every chance we get. There are no "guys nights out" or " girls nights out" there are "date nights" where we go out together and invite other couples to come with us if they like.

3 ) you dont take anything with you when you die, this belief has taken away all stress related to money issues. We own our own home and both work and have a lot of stuff but we would be just as happy to live in a bachelor apartment with nothing but each other. This idea was tested a few years back when she lost her job and we could have lost everything, she was upset and I told her, as long as we have each other what does a stupid house and contents matter? She stopped being stressed right away.

4 ) we went to couples councelling at our local public services center when we first got married and were not having any problems at all, we also took parenting corse's ...... this has helped us avoid many problems that might have presented themselves but we were able to avoid the pitfalls. 

Thats not much but I just wanted to share a bit about how we have succeeded and if anybody takes anything away from it then the internet has succeeded.


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## Mrs. Segedy

Thank you for sharing! I know my husband and I should work on number 1.


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## HappyHer

Awesome tips! I don't think it's that your marriage is no work at all though, as it sounds like you do plenty for each other, but that it's a joyous activity and doesn't feel like "work". Keep up the wonderful example!


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## SimplyAmorous

MarriedinVegas said:


> Our marriage is no work at all !!!


 I've accually felt this way -for most of our marraige as well. We did go through a few trials (infertility was the hardest) but it in no way affected our love for each other. But it did cause me to be horrendous to deal with, for a time.  

Another hard time, for us, is when my sex drive became FULLY awakend out of the blue a couple years ago & I started "feeling" he did not "desire" me- like he used too (he couldn't keep up) but that was all in my head/wrong thinking. 
>>> Also when I stumbled upon this forum, which has been very helpful, I have enjoyed it very much. We're still spicing it up, going strong on 2 yrs now. 

And for him, he didn't get as much sex as he wanted for many many years cause my mind was on other things & he didn't push --- Where he SHOULD have been more assertive & communicative. (why I sometimes Have advice for the NICE guys out there). 

Other than these things, it has been literally a Breeze. 

Biggest challenges now are just keeping our little Blessings from fighting, wanting to attack each other, use disgusting nasty names to slam each other all day long. I do not look forward to when School is out !! 

In all fairness, it helps that my husband is simply one of those "perfect, always loving wonderful men" who are impossible to find & women think do not exist. I was the DIFFICULT one. I had many "issues" when we met (but thankfully he seen the potential in me), I was an angry young girl with some major chips on my shoulder, but his Patience & Loving kindness is what accually turned me around and helped me be a better person, better wife, better mother. 

I know I am what I am today- because of him. 

Yes, MUSH. (Sorry!) Sometimes I feel terribly guilty just being on here, I have cried reading some of these stories! Cause I know if I had married someone else, those stories could have been "My life". 

It really matters who you Marry. Our choices help Create our Destiny, we shouldn't take each other for granted - but Choose Love. Many probably thought my hubby was taking a Risk with me, but he never felt that, He loved me through everything. 

I so agree with all of MarriedInVegas's points as well. My friends used to get so mad at me, I never wanted to hang out "with the girls", he never cared to hang out with the guys, we try to do EVERYTHING together, if we can get away with it. Sometimes my friends have to tell me "NO, no husbands tonight, just us girls! " so I comply. 

We complete each other.


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## created4success

HappyHer said:


> Awesome tips! I don't think it's that your marriage is no work at all though, as it sounds like you do plenty for each other, but that it's a joyous activity and doesn't feel like "work". Keep up the wonderful example!


I agree, Tracy. I believe that every marriage takes some work, although the best marriages feel like they're just "flowing naturally."

IMO, the key is communication, and commitment. Everything else builds from there.


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## okeydokie

awesome to hear and i congratulate you.

you have a marriage of reciprocation, you love each other and want each other to be happy. you cant tell me there werent times when one of you didnt want sex, but i bet it happened anyway so the other was happy. a great example for us all


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## created4success

> Our choices help Create our Destiny...


I love this phrase, SA. I had a friend who was creating a seminar based upon that concept. He called it: "Decisions Determine Destiny," and it was pretty cool, although it didn't have anything to do with success in marriage.



okeydokie said:


> awesome to hear and i congratulate you.
> 
> you have a marriage of reciprocation, you love each other and want each other to be happy. you cant tell me there werent times when one of you didnt want sex, but i bet it happened anyway so the other was happy. a great example for us all


Yes, kudos and cheers! Marriage is a relationship of give and take, of good choices and bad. Hopefully both partners can grow through this commitment, which I believe is what a lot of life is about (growth)!


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