# I'm a mess today, cant focus



## [email protected] (Jan 30, 2012)

This is my 2nd post infidelity caused a seperation in my marriage 5 months ago. On his part then mine long story short we have been very distant in this time, me because of anger hurt and bitterness, him well I dont know his mom suspects guilt. He has shut me out as I did him in the begining but somewhere along these last 5 months I learned just how much I really do love him and think our marriage is worth saving. He is stubborn and I am stubborn he didn't call so neither did I, very childish for two 35yr old grown people. 

But its time to act like an adult I am tired of being in marriage limbo. I called and left him a message to meet me at his moms tomorrow at 8 and I must say I am a mess today. On the phone leaving the message I was stong, assertive and confident but today I am losing it. All I can think of is what if I hear the words I don't love you anymore, what if he refuses to give me the answers I need, what if in this short period of time he has moved on the what ifs are breaking me down today and I am having trouble focusing, I am at work and there are tears in my eyes, my girlfried said wipe your eyes, go to the bathroom and pray and try to stay really busy at work. 

I'm trying I don't know where all my confidence went but all I have are doubts yesterday I reflected over the last 7yrs with this man and I felt confident that the distance on his part has been because of fear of facing me after what he started in our marriage and guilt for doing it. I was positive I was leaving this meeting tomorrow with my husband and a new found love and commitmment but today oh my God the negitivity and doubt has settled in and its making me unbeliveably sad. I want to lie and say Im feeling sick and go home but the thought of walking around the house all day thinking, thinking, thinking is to much maybe work is the best place to be now.

I dont want to go to this meeting with my husband to discuss the fate of our marriage feeling defeated, feeling like its already over, whats wrong with me and why am I feeling this way. :-(


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

you are normal.. butterflies. go for it because if you don't you will never know. good luck


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

I have been where you are. It's torturous. I know.

Do meet with your husband and tell him how you feel. Don't get angry. Don't blame him. Don't point your finger at him. Don't beg.

and certainly, don't take whatever he says as the final answer.

He needs time to rethink things too.

Try to make it a not-so-big deal. You're just going to tell him how you feel and also see him because you miss him. That's all there is to it. The rest will fall in place in time.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Boy can I relate. Limbo sucks. 3 months there, then said enough, we are moving to reconcile or divorce. She said reconcile, moved back for a weekend, all went well. Agreed to another weekend and she bailed on it, I sent an email that she took as bullying, it was not, and the MC agreed it was not. She said she was done again.

A week later she comes back crying. Now I am back in limbo. The emotions are minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day. It all sucks. When will this ride end?

We can only try our best to be strong and make smart decisions. 

I agree with synthetic and have been thinking to try my best to not make any of this a big deal. Put on my best face for many reasons.

Be strong!


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## [email protected] (Jan 30, 2012)

Thanks (This is me, synthetic, & Just why) I am going for it!


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