# well i found out he has a girlfriend.



## momtoboys (Apr 22, 2012)

I haven't snooped the whole separation but did tonight. Saw on his facebook he has a girlfriend. we split in sept and reconciled in nov and had a long distance marriage until march 12thish he ended things. I found out he has been with this girl since march 18th. She's only 19 (he's almost 25 and I am 28). We have e boys together. He says he is in love with her. But yet if some of you remember I made a post just last week about him trying to sext with me but I wouldn't. He has sent me naked pictures in april and in may. I told him that's cheating on her. He says it isn't. If he's in love with her and not me why is he trying to sext with me?

I have held out hope for a possible reconciliation because he was thinking of working things out at the end of april. I didn't play my cards right though and have argued with him,nagged,begged,cried and have acted out right like a clingy psycho ex. But I didn't act psycho about the girl. Just asked about details as closure.

I'm devastated. I'm filing divorce tomorrow and of course going a complete 180 for myself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

So Sorry. What a d!ck.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

I am so sorry. Good choice on the 180 thing it will help you out a lot. good for you not sexting and allowing him to use you like that. Good move.


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## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

So sorry... But at least now you know. 

You are doing the right thing, the 180 will help you. If there is any chance of a R then it will still help. 
It's a hard road you are starting on, but you are not alone

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

I am very sorry to hear that, momtoboys. Glad you're doing a 180.

Have you both been to MC? Have you been to IC (if not it's strongly recommended). 

There is a saying: when someone shows you how they are, believe them. His actions have spoken volumes.

Best wishes and we're here for you.


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## momtoboys (Apr 22, 2012)

thanks everyone. i of course didnt sleep a wink, i felt sick to my stomach all night  im back to square one again.

No we havent been to MC. He ended things then was considering working things out then said no because things werent gonna change. Now he is saying hes in love with her and wants to hurry up and divorce. I am filing divorce today and pawning my rings today as well. I am planning on going to IC in hopes that it helps.


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## Mothra777 (Apr 10, 2012)

Sorry to hear that...I am bracing myself for the same thing as my wife has just moved out and she was already on dating sites prior to moving. Now she has her own place, she'll be straight into it no doubt and hook up with the first guy that comes along.

I also agree with Canguy in going to an IC. It has helped me a lot, as has the 180 - particularly the exercise bit as it sends the endorphins flowing and gets your mind of things for a while.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

I just hate that we all have to live this same story. Remember you're not alone and if nothing else, your TAM family won't betray you. Sorry momtoboys, this is the worst thing ever and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

So sorry for your pain. But there is power in knowledge. You KNOW that his boundaries for a proper, meaningful relationship are all screwed up. (pun intended). Do the 180, it is helping me after 2 and 1/2 months post D-day. You are not alone.


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Don't forget, file for that child support! He's not interested in the kids and now you know why. He needs to help somehow.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Isn't he the one who sent you a pic of his d!ck saying he wanted to get busy with you?

_If he's in love with her and not me why is he trying to sext with me?_

1. Because he's not "in love" and
2. He's an active cheater


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## momtoboys (Apr 22, 2012)

thanks everyone for the replies, im starting to feel like im not a lone now. 

I filed for child support a month or two ago and i have a court date this thursday, so im definitely getting what i need to get out of him. And im pawning my rings and paying for a divorce today. I am so sick of his crap.

now im left wondering if he was with her while with me, whats wrong with me, why her. What did i do wrong, my belly is in knots. THen having to hear he's more attracted to her because my attitude makes me ugly (this is what he said last night) and hearing how she has a job and im worthless and dont work (ive been a stay at home mom while married and my 6 month old has had allergies and i am afraid to leave him, i have worked by cleaning some houses but i do not work every day but that made me feel an inch big.  Dunno how he can move on so quick.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

She's 19. I seriously doubt they have long intelligent conversations about their world views and laundry and finances and the facts of life. You are a (married) woman who is a stay at home mom. Do not even start to compare yourself to a teenager who prob has a lot of time on her hands.

He may have been with her while you were togehter and he may have not. But... now yo uknow who he really is. He is a guy who texts d!ck pics to you while he's out chasing 19 yr olds at the same time.

You dont want that guy. Do you? It's gross.

File for your child support and take the appropriate steps to disentangle your life from his. 

You deserve better.


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## Married in VA (Jan 6, 2012)

Mom,
First off, good job on the child support filing. Secondly, you are not alone. We are all here for a reason and there are plenty of us going through similar circumstances. There are some that have been through it and offer their advice to those who are going through this mess. Thirdly, your STBXH is a cheater and lives in a fantasy world. He hasn't "moved on" because he's still trying to hook up with you. That shows you how little respect he has for himself, for you, and for his current girlfriend. It also shows his true character. Being in a fog, he will pin all negative emotions on you and OW will be perfect. As you can see, his relationship will never last. You are not losing anything by divorcing this POS. Best of luck here.


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## Bitter+Sweet (May 19, 2012)

Mothra777 said:


> Sorry to hear that...I am bracing myself for the same thing as my wife has just moved out and she was already on dating sites prior to moving. Now she has her own place, she'll be straight into it no doubt and hook up with the first guy that comes along.
> 
> I also agree with Canguy in going to an IC. It has helped me a lot, as has the 180 - particularly the exercise bit as it sends the endorphins flowing and gets your mind of things for a while.


Oh my goodness. My husband was on dating sites before he moved out too. What in the world....why can't people just be right and do the right thing! Life would be so much easier!


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## momtoboys (Apr 22, 2012)

mine was on a dating website too and i am thinking he met here through there. I think he deleted the dating website after the met, talked and got with her while we were together. Then decided to be with her so he left. I was pregnant with our youngest while he was on dating sites.


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## InTheBedIMade (May 20, 2012)

Everyone loves a backup plan, a safety net. He's in new territory with the young'un and needs to know that if it falls apart he has somewhere to land. You're being put down in an effort to keep your confidence low and wishing that the one man that 'loved' you would return. The 180 breaks that and you end up with acts of desperation like a penis pic... He's a lost little boy looking for the validation that he missed out on somewhere else, as far as I'm concerned. No one will ever fill that need for him until he realizes it and does it for himself. You would waste all of your life energy trying. You are you, you are not the person that he tells you that you are.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I'm sorry you're going through this, and think you're wise to have not fallen for the sexting scenario. Sounds like he thinks he's got his cake, but wants a nibble of yours, too...

I recently read the 180 exercise, and it sounds like a healthy option. Divorce is never an easy decision, but right now it sounds like he isn't leaving you a choice, as he's just jerking your chain, rather than attempting to work on the marriage.


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