# should i expect him to fade away?



## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Sbxh dumped me when I was 8 months pregnant and told me to leave the marital home. Just wasn't feeling it anymore, his words, and didn't love me anymore, no affair as far as I know.

Well our daughter was born and at first he came to see her every week for the first month, and now he hasn't seen her in a month and we haven't received any money from him even though we(meaning I) are struggling as I am a college student.

I guess what my question is...looking for a guys opinion...should I expect him to just fade out of both of our lives? He doesnt call to check on her anymore and his visits before only lasted an hour or so. He hasn't filed for divorce either which confuses me...I have filed for child support though.

Any opinions?


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Just asking because maybe a man's point of view can give me a fresh perspective?


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## kramber (Oct 30, 2012)

I have no idea. I couldn't imagine leaving a pregnant wife and not seeing my daughter. I only have dogs, but I love those so much... 

I'm sorry. It sounds like there may be an affair or something. Talk, talk, then talk and be strong. Be good for your kid.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

No!

The guy sounds like an idiot.

Get legal on him as soon as possible.

When you have finished putting him through the meat grinder find someone new who is a decent man and live the rest of your life happy.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Thanks all. I just don't know hoe he ended up this way...I mean the baby was planned for goodness sake. He told me he just wanted his daughter, not me. But he isn't around her either.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

Any man that abandons his child should be raked over the coals. 
And i use the term "man" VERY loosely. 
Grind the POS up and never let him see his daughter again. Id tell her he was dead. Just me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

By the way, I have talked my heart out to him, he just has his mind made up on divorce even though he hasn't done anything about it. He denies an affair and I don't think he is with anyone.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Left you 8 months pregnant? If I were your daddy, I would have paid him a visit. I would have made certain he felt it. As he has shown himself to be about as dishonorable a waste of DNA as a man can possibly be, why would you want him in the same zip code as your daughter? Toss him a few bucks to get him to sign away parental rights. Maybe he can buy a cool tattoo. Neither you or your precious daughter will gain anything by having this sack of feces in your lives. If he isn't having an affair, maybe you have a female enemy you can hook him up with...preferably one with a serious STD. You don't need this loser.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Okay. I can speak here as a man.

Your POS (that's what he is) Husband is no man. He's a selfish wimp. He wants his little world and nothing to interfere with it and doesn't understand that the FATHER and MAN of the house has to be the LEAST selfish. He has to be the strong one in the house and maintain order and discipline (usually at a cost to his own endeavors and comfort zones).

First - GET SUPPORT!! He may not support with time, but he BETTER support with Money.
Second - You can't make him DO anything, if he wants to be there, he will and make it easy for him. If he doesn't, that's on HIM! The only responsibility for you is to allow him access based on the determined time set forth by the courts. Nothing more, nothing less.

I dealt with issues of my exwife holding back time with my two older children and NOTHING pi$$es me off more than a Father who HAS the opportunity to spend time with his kids and doesn't. Every moment you have with your kids is precious, especially in a broken home.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I've always made her available to him...even now when I don't have heat or electricity, but he hasn't tried to contact me to see her.

I was going to give him until the new year to file for the divorce he wants, but should I just file now?


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

Yes. He's some piece of work. Kicking a pregnant women out of the house at 8 months is pretty damm low. He came by to see what his kid looked like. He was just curious . File for divorce. Don't wait around for this loser.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

Loser. with a capital "L".


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

You should file last month or sooner. You should purchase a shotgun and a pitbull. Why are you waiting to see what this idiot feels like doing on any particular day? He's unreliable, unstable, undependable, untrustworthy, unacceptable, unredeemable and completely unlikely to add anything even slightly to your life. You have a child. Your child needs someone she can count on. He aint it. The sooner he's sent packing, the sooner you can build some sort of predictable, stable platform from which to raise your daughter.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Thank you all.

You're all right. I just cant believe he planned this baby with me and was so...well opposite of what he is now...he says we grew apart. I don't know how that happens within months, but I am done trying to understand him.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

Good move on and get child support going If your decision is divorce then I would go ahead and file. He sounds immature how old are yall ??? Remember their are millions of decent folks out their so take your time take care of yourself and your DD 

Good Luck


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

We are young, but that shouldnt be an excuse. We are 21.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

I kinda figured that and your right situations like yours happen my first wife and i had a baby girl after about 6 months she wanted to start partying again so she did I ended up with our daughter and raised her myself she is now 21 and has turned out pretty good she is in college as well so what your dealing with happens alot one wants to grow up and accept responsibilty the other wants to not grow up 

Hang in there


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

abandonmentissues said:


> By the way, I have talked my heart out to him, he just has his mind made up on divorce even though he hasn't done anything about it. * He denies an affair and I don't think he is with anyone.*


In that case, he's gay.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

abandonmentissues said:


> We are young, but that shouldnt be an excuse. We are 21.


I thought you were going to say 16. 21 ain't that young. At least to folks in my generation.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Your baby shouldn't be stuck with crap for a father just because he's a little youthful. If he's old enough to make babies, he's old enough to step up and be a man. He just doesn't choose to. He's no younger than you. A man would saw at least his half of the log. This is the difference between a man and a male.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> In that case, he's gay.


What if he isn't gay? haha

But hey, atleast it would be an explanation other than "I don't know, we(as if the feeling was mutual) just grew apart" or "we just aren't right for eachother"


The thing that gets me is, he SLEPT with me that morning, came home from work that night and told me all of this bs.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

abandonmentissues said:


> What if he isn't gay? haha
> 
> But hey, atleast it would be an explanation other than "I don't know, we(as if the feeling was mutual) just grew apart" or "we just aren't right for eachother"
> 
> ...


If he was a girl and did that, I'd say he/she was absolutely having an affair. I don't know how guys act, though.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Machiavelli said:


> If he was a girl and did that, I'd say he/she was absolutely having an affair. I don't know how guys act, though.


I don't know. It doesn't make any sense.


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## tonynw (Nov 7, 2012)

anybody who cant stand by his child is not a man! so dont treat him like one. dont get me wrong everyman has a right to see his child but if he has been a deadbeat for quiet sometime now then the ball is in your court, it is totally upto you if you want him to be apart of your babies life. please just dont let him come and go, its not fair on the bubba. you deserve a real man! i wish you luck girl.

T from London


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

Thank you^^


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I disagree that every man has a moral "right" to see his kid. It wasn't "his" kid when he walked away one month before the child was born. My sperm does not make me a father. I adopted my son when he was 3. His biological father never did squat for him. I fed him, taught him, loved him, cared for him. When he says "Dad" we both know who he's talking about. Imperfect at times, but I have earned the title of "Father". A male member of our species who creates life but doesn't care for it, provide for it, or protect it isn't a man or a dad. Whichever male ends up doing those things for this child will be both.


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## abandonmentissues (Jun 28, 2012)

I agree with you unbelievable, but I think some people might disagree.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

There are billions of people on the planet. I've met people who thought they were Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Jesus Christ, The Devil, etc. I've met people who communicate with the CIA through their smoke detector or their microwave oven. On any issue, I assume there will always be at least one contrary opinion. The existance of an alternative opinion does not mitigate truth or wisdom.


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