# Children and sex



## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

I was curious for the married couples, how many children do you have and has it affected your sex life? My opinion is that the less kids you have, the more sex you have.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I have 3 and if it wasn't for the medications my husband is now taking, we'd be having much more sex than we are now. We are averaging once a week/once every two weeks... could EASILY be at least 3 times a week if not for that. Our kids are 11, 6, & 4. And when our youngest was a baby, we WERE having sex that frequently.

ETA: It isn't the number of kids you have that determines how much sex you have. It is determined by how much time you MAKE for each other. And yes, you CAN make time for each other if you CHOOSE to, even with a lot of kids.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

We have 2 ....and 2 dogs. lol.

Nothing stops us. Although, we should have named our youngest "C0ck block" cause she's good at knowing when we want to get it on :rofl: But we just lock the door. We're busy.


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## Lyris (Mar 29, 2012)

We have two, 5 and 3. We have sex about 4 times a week, if no-one's sick and we're not fighting. We very rarely fight, but did just get past a bit of an issue last week. 

After real babyhood, children don't need to affect sex. We had a looooong period of difficulty, including very little sex, but that was due to relationship issues, not our children.


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## Riven (May 4, 2012)

The poll questions don't really correspond because not everyone who votes is going to respond. I agree with above. Look are people like the Duggars, obviously it has no effect on them, lol. I know someone with 4 kids and she goes at it like crazy. 

I've found that as our kids get older there is more sex because it's easier to make time for each other, we can leave the kids at home while we go to a movie and dinner etc. without having to find a sitter and all of that. 

I think in itself the statement "the more kids you have the less sex you have" is odd, because obviously you have more kids... and they come from somewhere! LOL


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Adex said:


> I was curious for the married couples, how many children do you have and has it affected your sex life? My opinion is that the less kids you have, the more sex you have.


I can tell you... *this purely depends on the couple* ,* their sex drives* *and what priority they place upon the bedroom FUN*. 

We have 6 ...from Kindergarten to College age (5 still at home)....they don't slow us down.. (4 to 6 times a week for the last 4 yrs) 

Now in our past, it wasn't always this way but it still had nothing to do with the kids, it had more to do with my husband being too passive & me doing dumb things like putting the kids in bed with us & having a book in my hands when he was feeling frisky, he felt rejected & rolled over...(half the time anyway)....

I always had the energy, never used the "tired" excuse either....kids didn't slow me down ... but I did, unfortunately, have my mind on other things -not exactly the erotic rolling around in the brain...except after so many days, this built up & I had to have it!









I didn't have my priorities straight back then.... Now I do...Finally. 

.. I feel so long as a couple has a locked bedroom door... one can get creative to keep children entertained... there is absolutely no reason under the sun to not be banging as much as you can without kids.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Four, 29, 24, 21,20

3 to 4 times a week on average I suppose. Don't really count.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> *.. I feel so long as a couple has a locked bedroom door... one can get creative to keep children **entertained... **there is absolutely no reason under the sun to not be banging as much as you can without kids*.


*Confucious say:* *"Tis far better to be banging in bed than to have the kiddos banging on the bedroom door!" *


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## mdnuojame (Dec 24, 2012)

we WERE having sex that frequently.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

I went on a date with a woman, and found out she had *8* kids I didn't run away at the spot but we both knew there would be no second date within moments after I asked the question.

Anyhow, I did keep chatting with her and asked her if at some point the a higher number actually becomes easier, and she said 5 was the magic number, that the older ones were able to help keep the younger ones in order and apparently she ran her home like the military.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Three kids here. It used to effect us a lot because wife got into the mommy mode. Now it doesn't at all. We figure it's a wonder example to make that mom and dad love each other. No, we aren't screaming when they can hear, but teenagers aren't dumb.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

We have four. Oldest is almost 17 younger ones just turned 9. Sex can be anywhere from 0 times a week to 7 times a week. We never had a lock on a bedroom door. 

We adjusted our times to when the kids were sleeping, then later when school age, we went back to daytime sex, now they are either in school, sleeping, or outside. 

When they were babies we prob had more quickies, and couldn't use the video camera as often (who wants to hear children crying in your home videos), and we had more oral. 

With babies you just get touched out, so actual piv isn't a turn on, but oral, every one gets what they need. 

Now we don't have quickies too often, and some nites we both get oral and some piv action.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

No kids and not a lot of sex.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I
> 
> .. I feel so long as a couple has a locked bedroom door... one can get creative to keep children entertained... there is absolutely no reason under the sun to not be banging as much as you can without kids.


Well, if you don't want to be banging the spouse too often, that is a reason.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Adex said:


> I was curious for the married couples, how many children do you have and has it affected your sex life? My opinion is that the less kids you have, the more sex you have.


I have one, aged 34. My ex wasn't that interested in sex before my pregnancy, and even less afterwards.

My elder sister, however, has 7 children (grown up and married, now), and there has always been deep love and unwavering passion between them

Where there's a will there's a way, and there's no reason why children should come in the way of physical intimacy.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

No kids.
But we own a business that takes a lot of time and energy.
Sex frequency fluctuates between 5 or 6 times per week to zero times per week.

_But the affection and intimacy is always there._


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

We lock the bedroom door. Our kids are old enough now to entertain themselves.

We even lock the door for one on one time too. It doesn't necessarily mean we need to have sex then. We take time for each other everyday/night.

I have 3 children. One is grown and out of the house. The other two are elementary and middle school aged. I wish I would of had another one, but I can't take that back. I love being a wife and a mother.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Four kids. Wife always used the kids as excuses, even as they got older. Bedroom door had a lock and the bedroom was on the other side of the house from the other bedrooms. Still nothing.

If a couple really want to have sex, they are going to figure out a way. If one doesn't, the kids/teen/young adults are an easy excuse to avoid it.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

I find it interesting that a lot of people have only one child. We only have one, and I'm at the point trying to decide whether to have more. A part of me wants one more and a part of me doesn't. I know our sex life will suffer if we do have one more. 

I suppose I'm a bit selfish to have just one. Everyone always asks me when's the next one coming. I want to send my child or children to only private schools so it gets expensive.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Adex said:


> I suppose I'm a bit selfish to have just one. Everyone always asks me when's the next one coming. I want to send my child or children to only private schools so it gets expensive.


I don't see anything wrong in deciding how many children you're happy with, Adex. My father had 6, and couldn't give a rat's ass about any of us. That's selfish, but limiting yourself to one child and giving that child a happy, loving childhood and a good education is not.


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## janesmith (Nov 29, 2010)

we have four, 23 19 13 and 12. They are used to mommy and daddy taking a "nap" in the middle of the day and of us settling down the house for "quiet time" for everyone. When they see us being affectionate and groan our response usually is "well how do you think YOU got here". The only thing that slowed us down is having infants, but once they slept through the night it was ON and popping.

we have 'mommy/daddy' time regularly


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

My daughter was my savior a few times in the past when my wife wouldn't stop demanding I put out heh

I think personal fitness along with many other factors are more directly related to sexual issues in marriage then the number of kids.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Adex said:


> I find it interesting that a lot of people have only one child. We only have one, and I'm at the point trying to decide whether to have more. A part of me wants one more and a part of me doesn't. I know our sex life will suffer if we do have one more.


Your SEX life will only suffer if you LET it suffer. That's what some of us with more children have said earlier. If she's already using the one child as an excuse to get out of sex, now...then she will use any other children as an excuse as well. That much, yes, I will concede is true. However, this will only happen if you LET it happen. 



Adex said:


> I suppose I'm a bit selfish to have just one. Everyone always asks me when's the next one coming. I want to send my child or children to only private schools so it gets expensive.


No, you're not selfish at all if this is how you are thinking! As Cosmos said, it's better to provide well for the one you have than to spread yourself thin trying to support more than you can afford. (Yea, I know that sounds kinda bad) But it's true.

But having more kids doesn't necessarily mean your sex life will suffer. Mine didn't suffer because of the kids. My problem is only the medications my husband has to take.


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

one daughter 17 months and one boy due in february.
obviously we work around when the girl is asleep, morning/naptime/nooner/quickies are a standard fare, with as much evening action as we can muster.
average of 4-5 times per week and i just wont go longer than 3 days without some nookie, i just wont. it messes with my constitution .
good thing for me the wife is on the same page.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Three kids and we had an almost non existent sex life but that was due to alcoholism and had very little to do with having kids.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Adex said:


> I was curious for the married couples, how many children do you have and has it affected your sex life? My opinion is that the less kids you have, the more sex you have.


 No we only have one and they sex life sucks


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

We have three, all fully grown now.

They never affected us for any length of time. The longest drought was when DW had to have surgery.

Now we are older the frequency is a little less but I am still very happy at 60.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Three kids all still at home. We still have sex 2 - 4 times/week - sometimes 5. It depends on whether she's on the rag or not. I love my kids but they can be real buttheads, so half the time my wife and I have to act like teenage lovers in order to sneak away to have sex. To a certain extent, it makes the marriage more interesting and also makes us feel young again...like when you used to sneak around your and her parents to get frisky with the GF.


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## Renny (Jun 13, 2011)

I have five kids between 16 and 24. We are never alone so sex is on a weekend morning before they are awake and I am always on the clock so to speak. It is starting to drive me right out of mind and it wouldn't bother me so much if I wasn't the only one that cared about it. So once a week sometimes twice if I am opportunistic enough. I am pretty frustrated to say the least.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Renny said:


> I have five kids between 16 and 24. We are never alone so sex is on a weekend morning before they are awake and I am always on the clock so to speak. It is starting to drive me right out of mind and it wouldn't bother me so much if I wasn't the only one that cared about it. So once a week sometimes twice if I am opportunistic enough. I am pretty frustrated to say the least.


Those aren't kids, those are young adults, let them take care of themselves while you retreat to the bedroom once in awhile, tell them you are making a cialis commercial. I realize though that you are probably not the one with the hangup about being alone for the act to commence.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

I just don't understand letting the fear that you kids are going to know what is going on is going to harm them somehow. 

Don't you think they know how they got here?

We just don't let them stop us. We don't flaunt it, and wifey tries not to be too loud when they are up.


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## stritle (Oct 4, 2010)

2 kids, 8 and 5
no real impact on sex frequency (probably have more now than before they were born), but can sometimes dictate timing.


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