# sex problems with husband



## kaleighgurl (Mar 19, 2014)

I have been married for about a year now and the sex is alright but my husband can hardly finish during sex. At first i didnt really notice it because he would do other things but he uses his hand a lot to finish and it makes me kind of self conscious. He says he is turned on and it feels good but why cant he finish without using his hand?


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

Does he use porn to pleasure himself?

Meaning when you are not around?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kaleighgurl (Mar 19, 2014)

jerry123 said:


> Does he use porn to pleasure himself?
> 
> Meaning when you are not around?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm not really sure. I know he has watched it before


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## pierrematoe (Sep 6, 2013)

How old is he? And does he masturbate without you around? If he masturbates a few times a week it could be causing him to be less likely to ejaculate during PIV.


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## kaleighgurl (Mar 19, 2014)

pierrematoe said:


> How old is he? And does he masturbate without you around? If he masturbates a few times a week it could be causing him to be less likely to ejaculate during PIV.


He is only 25 so age shouldn't be an issue. Yeah he does masturbate sometimes when i'm not around. He has a really high sex drive.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

pierrematoe said:


> How old is he? And does he masturbate without you around? If he masturbates a few times a week it could be causing him to be less likely to ejaculate during PIV.


If he masturbates too much it could be a sensitivity issue but you should have an honest talk with him and ask him for his input and that you want to help.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

kaleighgurl said:


> I'm not really sure. I know he has watched it before



Because it may be affecting his sexual performance with you. 

Listen, most guys are high drive. And even though you guys may be having sex 1-2 times a week he may feel the need to masterbate 1-2 times a week on top of sex with you. That will affect his performance with you. 

And by telling us he needs to use his hand to finish then its highly likely he does masterbate when you are not around.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

kaleighgurl said:


> He is only 25 so age shouldn't be an issue. Yeah he does masturbate sometimes when i'm not around. He has a really high sex drive.


I know he's young but has he had a checkup lately at least rule it out like high blood pressure diabetes ect.


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## jerry123 (Apr 9, 2012)

kaleighgurl said:


> He is only 25 so age shouldn't be an issue. Yeah he does masturbate sometimes when i'm not around. He has a really high sex drive.


He needs to stop. It's different if you are there and it's a fantasy thing where you both are involved. It's damaging for him to sneak a peek at porn with you not around. 

That sexual energy needs to be focused on you. Not a fake sex/porn scene on a computer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I suppose it could also be an issue of friction. Would you consider your kegel muscles to be strong?


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## kaleighgurl (Mar 19, 2014)

tom67 said:


> If he masturbates too much it could be a sensitivity issue but you should have an honest talk with him and ask him for his input and that you want to help.


Ok ill try to talk to him about that. I'm not really sure how to bring it up but ill try!


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## kaleighgurl (Mar 19, 2014)

jerry123 said:


> He needs to stop. It's different if you are there and it's a fantasy thing where you both are involved. It's damaging for him to sneak a peek at porn with you not around.
> 
> That sexual energy needs to be focused on you. Not a fake sex/porn scene on a computer.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree with you. I don't really feel comfortable with him doing that when I'm not there. I know its not cheating but i don't want him looking at other girls behind my back.



usmarriedguy said:


> I suppose it could also be an issue of friction. Would you consider your kegel muscles to be strong?


I'm not really sure but im young and havent had kids so i've never really thought about it.


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## pierrematoe (Sep 6, 2013)

I would just have an honest chat with him and tell him how you feel and listen to him, encourage him to tell you how he feels


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I would say, he is viewing and masturbating to porn often, so when you have sex, he has issues having an orgasm, so he uses his hand to finish off.

If he viewed no porn, no masturbating, I'm sure no more hand while you have sex.

Ask him what porn turns him on and do that with him. Surprise him.

Whatever you do, don't freak out and get mad.

Increase the amount of sex you have from 1 - 2x week, to 4 - 5x week. See if that kills his need for masturbating and porn.

Only reason he is doing this, he isn't getting near enough sex.

When I was in my early 20's, maybe 25 years old, sex every day to porn because I had a LD wifee only wanting sex 1 - 2x month and if I pushed for sex, 1x week. Not even close to enough sex.

Surprise him with a breast job, or try anal, or foot job, or wait for him in the shower before he goes to work. Dress up, blind fold him, use a feather, sensual oils, you name it. Rock his world and often because you're only young and in your primes once. Have sex as often as you can, while you can.

When I have relieved myself and then my wifee actually wanted sex that night, I had some issues having an orgasm so I would finish with my hand while in her or her breasts.


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

What type of birth control are you using? Perhaps he's just doing the pull out method? That's how it would be done. Ask him.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

Communication is the key to a good sex life. Ask him how often he masturbates. Then ask if he would consider holding off doing that for a few weeks to see if he can then complete the act with you. Approach this in a loving way but be clear. Tell him if frequency of sex is a problem then you want to know how often he feels he would like do it. 

This is the time in the marriage to learn how to communicate in a productive way and address the frustrations.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Circumcised men who masturbate to porn cannot come.


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