# Need help - no longer attracted to wife



## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

I'm probably going to get flamed for this post, at least by the female population here, but I'm getting desperate and really need some help.

Married for about 15 years. Can't remember for sure, not good w/ those kinds of things never have been. No kids, we both agreed we didn't want them. I'm a computer programmer (yes, video games - admitted uber geek here). Wife teaches PC skills to unemployed people at our county Workforce office. She's one of those perfect people everybody loves. Never have quite figured out what she sees in me but I've always been grateful that she did see something that made her want me.

When we met, I was sitting at about 250 pounds. I'm 6 foot 4 and played football in college so I carried that weight pretty well but it was starting to run to fat instead of muscle. I had pretty bad acne at the time and out of control, too long, curly bright red hair. I pretty much looked like ****. She was this cute (not gorgeous) little thing, about 5 foot 3, probably about 110 pounds when I met her. I have to say (because it gets important later) that she's an almost perfect hourglass except even at 21 her boobs were already huge - I believe she was about a 40DD most of her life. I'm ashamed to admit it but I noticed her because of those amazingly huge boobs. And they were natural, no enhancements needed. She noticed me because some ******* was hitting on her in a college bar and he was getting really pushy and I told him to leave her alone and ended up breaking a bar chair over his head when he tried to cause trouble. Doesn't sound like a great way to start a relationship but within 2 weeks we were dating and the very next semester we moved in together. Married as soon as we graduated from college and hard though it has been at times we've had a pretty darn good marriage. We were each other's first serious relationship, she was a virgin when she met me, I'd been with a few women but no one I really cared about.

Fast forward to the beginning of the problem - past couple of years she's been having a lot of back, shoulder, chest pain. Went to her doctor who pretty much told her the problem is that those awesome double-Ds are damaging her muscles. Recommended that she have breast reduction surgery.

I hate to even admit this because I know it sounds awful but I cried when she told me. About begged her not to do it even knowing how much pain she had been in lately. But we finally agreed that she would have it done. She's still pretty athletic and it was really interfering with a lot of the stuff she loves to do like swimming and hiking. (I on the other hand have hit 300 pounds which isn't even close to being muscle anymore. She's never once mentioned minding.)

So she had the surgery. She's now about a 36C and says she feels better than she has in years. She's got so much more energy now that she doesn't have huge weights hanging down her chest. And I want to be happy for her - but I can't. Because even though I love her for who she is as a person, I've ceased to be attracted to her physically/sexually. I LOVED those big boobs and I just can't seem to get aroused by her now that she doesn't have them. Some of my best sexual experiences have involved her lying flat on her back giving me oral while I thrust myself through her cleavage while holding her boobs together with my hands. Her cleavage isn't big enough for me to do that anymore and I miss it. I miss those huge boobs bouncing in my face when we do cowgirl. I miss the way they fit in my huge (size 13) hands.

I'm a very sexual man. She's a fairly sexual woman. We've always had a sex life that has been acceptable levels for both of us (although I will admit to using porn on a fairly regular basis because I have a very strong need to O at least once a day and she's happier with maybe 3 times a week). She's willing to accept the porn as long as I don't push her for more sex than she wants to give. We've always had a fairly erotic sex life as well - no, it's not 50 Shades (she refuses to do anal - we tried and it was really painful for her) but I've never had any complaints up to this point.

But this is killing me. I want to have sex with her. I NEED to have sex with her. But when I look at her naked with those "normal" sized breasts, I can't even get turned on anymore. The visual stimulation isn't right for me anymore. Not even for oral. We've even tried sex with most of our clothes on, to hide her chest, but that didn't work either. I really seem to need the visual of the totally naked woman to get aroused. And yes, I already know the porn has probably contributed to this - I've been watching it since I was a teen because I always had trouble getting real women, mostly due to the severe acne that didn't go away until I was almost 30.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not thinking about cheating. But the only way I can get off these days is by masturbating to porn videos and movies with huge chested women. The one thing my wife has refused me is to let me watch the porn while having sex with her which I thought might help. But I can understand her point of view I shouldn't need to be looking at other women to get aroused with my wife. We even tried a blindfold - it didn't work because I can feel the difference in her breasts with my hands and mouth and it just really bothers me.

Please, please help me. I love my wife and I don't want to ruin my marriage over this but I haven't been able to get/maintain an erection with my wife since her breast reduction surgery and that was over 8 months ago now. She has been so patient with me and been willing to do all sorts of experimentation to find something that will work for me, but I know she feels bad she's even mentioned wishing she had never had the surgery even though it's made her feel so much better. I feel bad that I can't seem to feel any sexual attraction to her anymore. I'm really worried about what's going to happen to us because I don't think I can permanently maintain a relationship with a woman who no longer sexually arouses me. Not that cheating is likely anyway since most other women don't arouse me either, unless they have huge breasts just like she used to. But I do have to admit the thought of going to one of those exotic dance clubs and getting it on with one of those surgically enhanced strippers entices me more and more every day lately. I can't believe I'm even saying that because it's the last thing I actually want to do. My wife is such a great person and I can't stand the thought of hurting her any more than this situation already is.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

Quit the porn. If you're going to masturbate, do it without porn. I think this the main problem you are having. You have objectified her body. If you are going to solve this problem, you will have to stop doing that. If you are watching porn, you won't be able to stop objectifying her.

Your Brain On Porn | Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn Please go to this site and read the articles. It will help clarify the problem. There is a solution, but you have to be willing to do it.


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## rzmpf (Mar 11, 2016)

Seems like you have a breast fetish. You don't see your wife (or any woman) as a complete human being, you only see her breasts, at least sexually. 

If your fetish is that strong you have 3 choices to satisfy or change/lessen your fetish, leaving your wife, extramarital activity or going to therapy.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

A 5'3" woman who weighs 110 lbs and has a 40" ribcage? After breast reduction surgery she not only lost 2 cup sizes but also 4" around her rib cage? How? Did the Dr. remove ribs? Back fat?

Please explain.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

IMFarAboveRubies said:


> A 5'3" woman who weighs 110 lbs and has a 40" ribcage? After breast reduction surgery she not only lost 2 cup sizes but also 4" around her rib cage? How? Did the Dr. remove ribs? Back fat?
> 
> Please explain.


I suspect OP was exaggerating so that we would all be impressed with the awesomeness of his wife's ex-boobs, and sympathize with the magnitude of his loss.

OP if your wife no longer attracts you and you prefer porn and strippers to her, I suggest you do her a huge favour and leave her. That way you can get what you want and she can find someone who appreciates her.


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## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

Sorry. I honestly don't know her exact measurements then or now. She has put on about 50 pounds over the course of our marriage. Can't complain since so have I. All I know is that she used to be built like a porn star (think a short Pamela Anderson) and now she looks like your average 40 year old housewife (cue the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond). And even though I hate myself for it the change is a major turn-off to me.


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## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

I DO appreciate her! She saw something in me when no one else did and she helped me become the man I am today. I'm still crazy in love with her. I just don't know what to do with the fact that I can't even get an erection with her anymore. I even talked to a dr about trying Viagra but he said it sounds psychological rather than physical so a drug for ED probably wouldn't help plus I'm in the beginning stages of heart disease (yeah I seriously need to lose some weight) but apparently ED drugs aren't real safe for people with even just the beginnings of coronary artery disease.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

BigRedNerd said:


> Sorry. I honestly don't know her exact measurements then or now. She has put on about 50 pounds over the course of our marriage. Can't complain since so have I. All I know is that she used to be built like *a porn star* (think a short Pamela Anderson) and now she looks like your average 40 year old housewife (cue the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond). And even though I hate myself for it the change is a major turn-off to me.


See what I mean about porn. You want a porn star. Your wife is not and never was a porn star. Stop getting off by looking at porn stars and start looking into your wife's eyes and enjoying her touch. Otherwise, you may find yourself without a wife.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Nonsense.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Oh, just grow the **** up.


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## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

Excuse me? I came here for help and I'm getting told to grow up? I've been lurking here for several days and finally decided to post because this seems like a pretty decent group and I thought I might actually get some help. I know I have a porn issue. I'm working on it. It's not that easy to give up after almost 30 years. But I don't want to hurt my wife. She's the best thing in my life and she's been really understanding so far. She deserves better than this and I know it. She's honestly the only person who has ever cared about me. I can't bear the thought of losing her. But I can't imagine a life without sex either. One thing I can't see her going for is an open marriage the thought has crossed my mind but she's quite religious and the whole idea would probably freak her out big time.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Here's a simple plan:

1. Give up on the porn entirely.
2. Lose the extra weight.

This will get you a lot more interested in your wife. Stopping the porn will eliminate that outlet, and losing weight will increase your testosterone.

Let us know how it works out for you.


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## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

Trying to lose weight already. So is she. Hard for me because I've really screwed up my body over the years - bad knees and back from football make a lot of exercising really painful. But I've done it before - got down to almost 190 for our wedding only to put it all back on and then some. Right now I'm mostly just walking and watching my diet - my triglyceride number was scary last time around. I also asked my employer for a standing desk - not much room for exercise as a VG developer I'm afraid. I've actually managed to go from my all time high of about 330 down to right around 300 over the past 6 months. Wife is currently at her all time high of about 170 and she's not too happy about it either especially since she just found out she's borderline diabetic. She always gains in the winter but this is the worst it's ever been for her. She's also depressed because she says she lost all that weight from her chest only to put it back in her gut.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

BigRedNerd said:


> One thing I can't see her going for is an open marriage the thought has crossed my mind but she's quite religious and the whole idea would probably freak her out big time.


If this is your go-to fix, then no, you don't appreciate her at all. You just feel some sort of need to keep her on your backburner so that someone somewhere will really appreciate you while you go off with porn stars and strippers.

But eventually, the more you act repulsed by her, the more she will come resent you, and you will no longer feel so appreciated. 

Then you both lose, not just her.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

BigRedNerd said:


> I even talked to a dr about trying Viagra but he said it sounds psychological rather than physical so a drug for ED probably wouldn't help


If you have heart disease or something, you need her more than she needs you. You need to fix this. I heard there are penile injections you can get for erections. Maybe those are safe for you. Im no doctor, but you need to see a sexual medicine doctor to get the options. 

I've not tried this, but maybe get erect with your porn and use a c-ring to retain the erection for the follow up sex. 

Or maybe you need to become a butt man  .


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## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

Who said I was repulsed by her? I still go down on her 2 or 3 times a week even though I'm getting nothing in return. We snuggle and cuddle in bed and in front of the tv almost every night. It's NOT repulsion at all, it's just a lack of arousal. And she doesn't resent me, in fact she blames herself for having the surgery. I've tried to tell her it's not her fault but I suppose the way things have turned out it's not surprising that she feels that way.

Are there actually counselors that can help with something like this? I mean, breaking the porn addiction and all that? She suggested I talk to our pastor but I can't imagine telling him I have an almost daily porn habit. If the rest of the church found out (and you know it would eventually) it would be humiliating not only for me but for her as well. Our pastor already doesn't approve of me because he doesn't consider my job appropriate for a grown man. Hey, I'm good at it and it's good money so I don't see where it's any of his business.


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## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

Oh believe me I could have happily become a butt man we tried anal a couple of times and I loved it. Unfortunately my wife has IBS with constipation on an almost daily basis which has resulted in both severe hemmorhoids and anal fissures. Extremely painful - sometimes so bad she actually cries during bowel movements. I would NEVER consider asking her to do that again!


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## mary35 (Jul 18, 2010)

Yes there are counselors who can try to help you. They are called sex therapists. Find one. Google ASSECT. Good Luck.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

If you have all these health / mental issues at your age, breast size is the least if your problems...

Are your knees good enough for cycling?


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## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

As per the cycling - doubt it. Both kneecaps have been blown out, one is artificial and has been since my early 20s. Being a linebacker is not exactly good for your health. Destroyed both knees, lower back, left hamstring, don't even remember how many concussions anymore. Oh and the scar across my stomach from getting knifed in a bar fight during my college days. I'm not a great physical specimen and I'm well aware of it. I've often wondered why my wife stays she could do so much better than me.

I'll look into seeing a counselor. I really do want to fix this no matter what it takes. Even if it means finding another job since I work in an all male environment where a lot of sex talk and soft porn availability at the very least is pretty common.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

BigRedNerd said:


> Trying to lose weight already. So is she. Hard for me because I've really screwed up my body over the years - bad knees and back from football make a lot of exercising really painful. But I've done it before - got down to almost 190 for our wedding only to put it all back on and then some. Right now I'm mostly just walking and watching my diet - my triglyceride number was scary last time around.


What are you eating? Give up sugar and other carbs, and walk a couple of miles a day, and you'll lose weight pretty fast. A vegetarian diet also can help, although again you'll have to watch the carbs.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

There are 12 step groups for porn addiction and other types of addiction that meet every week, even multiple times a week. They do work, but actually, you have to do the work.

First step, don't look at porn. When you want to look at it, go for a walk, or call someone in the group. Better yet, start reading that website CynthiaDe linked for you. You will discover other ways porn has shaped (ruined?) your sex life.

Your wife sounds like a great woman. You've always loved her, even with the extra pounds. Now her breasts are smaller, for medical reasons, and you are considering all kinds of alternatives that will not only ruin your life, but hers. That is not sane thinking. What will you do if she ever gets breast cancer and has to have them removed all together....forget all the love and good years you had together?

She has loved you with lots of extra pounds, severe acne, and bright red hair (not that there is anything wrong with bright red hair on a guy, per se.) If you lose her through selfishness and immaturity, your chances are slim of finding someone else of her caliber who will love you.

If I were your wife, and I had a surgery like your wife's and found out that you were not only not attracted to me, but were considering going to strip bars for sex and you were wishing you could "open" the marriage so you could have sex with other women for their breasts, I would kick you out in a second and not take you back!

You had better get control of your mind, because you are a ticking time bomb.


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## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

We're both doing the diet from the book Good Calories Bad Calories. It's a modification on Atkins. Her weakness is chocolate mine is pasta. But I have lost 30 pounds so far she's actually gained 5. We're both far too sedentary in the winter as we both hate being outside in the cold. We actually went for a nice long walk today at a local park until my left knee (the artificial one) gave out. It was 60 degrees out. Supposed to be snowing again by the weekend, crazy. I love Boston but sometimes I seriously feel like moving somewhere with far less winter.

Her nephew (4) is staying with us for the weekend he had a ton of fun playing with our dog at the park. Watching him makes me almost regret our choice not to have kids. I'm almost 100% sure she regrets it. She loves this kid half to death and spoils him like crazy. She'll probably cry when he leaves. Tonight I'm sleeping alone on the couch because the kid and the dog are asleep in our bed with her. I watch them sleep and wonder what could have been. Too late now she's already going through the "change."


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## BigRedNerd (Mar 13, 2016)

I really feel like I am making progress on the modified Atkins diet. My dr recommended this one because my blood sugar is also high and my wife is already borderline type 2 diabetic. The hardest thing for me is trying to diet and quit smoking at the same time I feel like I'm going crazy I'm in my 40s now and I started smoking at 14 so it really is a lifelong habit. Sometimes I think the only bad habit I DON'T have is alcoholism. My parents were both alcoholics and I absolutely refuse to go down that path.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

I have to be honest. My heart hurts for your wife. From how you describe her, she has a great capacity to love you for you and her biggest redeeming quality in comparison is that she used to look like a porn star. 

No one here can help you. Only you can help you.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

IMFarAboveRubies said:


> A 5'3" woman who weighs 110 lbs and has a 40" ribcage? After breast reduction surgery she not only lost 2 cup sizes but also 4" around her rib cage? How? Did the Dr. remove ribs? Back fat?
> 
> Please explain.


Yeah the numbers don't add up. Plus the fact that DD's aren't that big that they would cause back pain, it is usually size E plus that leads to shoulder/back pain. 

Nice little story though.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

BigRedNerd said:


> I'm probably going to get flamed for this post, at least by the female population here, but I'm getting desperate and really need some help.


Interesting statement for a first time poster.



BigRedNerd said:


> Fast forward to the beginning of the problem - *past couple of years she's been having a lot of back, shoulder, chest pain. Went to her doctor who pretty much told her the problem is that those awesome double-Ds are damaging her muscles. Recommended that she have breast reduction surgery.*
> 
> I hate to even admit this because I know it sounds awful but *I cried when she told me. About begged her not to do it even knowing how much pain she had been in lately.*


You cried, and begged her not to do it, even though you know that they *hurt* her? *Dude*!


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

BigRedNerd said:


> I really feel like I am making progress on the modified Atkins diet. My dr recommended this one because my blood sugar is also high and my wife is already borderline type 2 diabetic. The hardest thing for me is trying to diet and quit smoking at the same time I feel like I'm going crazy I'm in my 40s now and I started smoking at 14 so it really is a lifelong habit. Sometimes I think the only bad habit I DON'T have is alcoholism. My parents were both alcoholics and I absolutely refuse to go down that path.


I wouldn't try to quit smoking, lose weight, and quit porn all at once. 
Find a permanent nutritional plan that you can stick to. Low carb is good, which sounds like that is what you are doing. Here's a site with help for porn addiction: Pure Desire Ministries Intl.

Dude, you have got to quit the porn. That is killing your desire for your wife. You can do it. There's a book that might help also: Facing the Shadow, by Patrick Carnes. http://www.amazon.com/Facing-Shadow...=1457850237&sr=1-1&keywords=facing+the+shadow


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## homedepot (May 13, 2014)

tech-novelist said:


> Here's a simple plan:
> 
> 1. Give up on the porn entirely.
> 2. Lose the extra weight.
> ...




Will you guys stop with the porn? Believe it or not, there are lots of people who watch porn who have great sex lives. Stop using porn as an excuse for what he wants. GeeZ


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## homedepot (May 13, 2014)

intheory said:


> This is the state of your wife's colorectal health; and 1.) You asked her for anal sex 2.) she complied with you.
> 
> People with hemorrhoids of that severity would never dream of having anal sex. I've worked in a surgical office, and have heard the yelps of pain from behind the exam room doors, when candidates for hemorrhoid surgery come in for their initial consultation with the doctor. Just the insertion of a lubed finger for a necessary digital exam, can elicit agony.
> 
> That was really inconsiderate of you. And your poor wife must have awful self-preservation boundaries to have allowed it



Omg poor wife of his. Some of yall crack me up.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

homedepot said:


> Will you guys stop with the porn? Believe it or not, there are lots of people who watch porn who have great sex lives. Stop using porn as an excuse for what he wants. GeeZ


Viewing people as objects isn't really that great.


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## caracara (Nov 23, 2015)

Yep, quit the porn. It ruins marriages every day with it's unrealistic figures/stories. That'll be the beginning of the end of your problems I'm sure. It'll take a while, but it will be worth it if you love her.


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## rzmpf (Mar 11, 2016)

homedepot said:


> Will you guys stop with the porn? Believe it or not, there are lots of people who watch porn who have great sex lives. Stop using porn as an excuse for what he wants. GeeZ


Lots of people drink and it causes no problem, for some it does. So that's no argument.

But I don't think porn is the primary problem. His breast fetish is and he uses porn to satisfy it just as he used his wife pre-surgery. Now her breasts are too small for his fetish to be satisfied so he doesn't get aroused.
He had no problem having sex and watching porn before the breast reduction and after the surgery he still has the desire to have sex with some big breasts (yes not a woman with big breasts, just big tits, he does not care about the woman, it's a fetish) despite watching porn.

While quitting smoking and losing weight are fine for his health that won't change much in the bedroom. Individual sexual therapy is needed here.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

rzmpf said:


> Individual sexual therapy is needed here.


I think so too.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

BigRedNerd said:


> We're both doing the diet from the book Good Calories Bad Calories. It's a modification on Atkins. Her weakness is chocolate *mine is pasta*. But I have lost 30 pounds so far she's actually gained 5.


She may find it helpful to measure your pasta to make sure you don't serve her too much when you eat together!










...after she gets the hang of this your diets will be on track and you will then somehow find yourself with one of those never ending erections that you both will enjoy endlessly. I am not going to tell you how this works, but just "trust me!" It will happen.

Cheers, 
Badsanta


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## Blossom Leigh (Mar 27, 2014)

@BigRedNerd All of us have bodies that change as we age, so if it hadn't been her breasts, it would have been something else to affect you. And even though this is a "fetish" I believe anyone can learn to love differently. Is it easy, no, but if you remain committed, I believe it is totally possible. I experienced a shift in my own love life of something I thought I "had" to have and over time I reconditioned myself to not need that anymore. It sounds like you adore your wife and if it were me and I were in your shoes I would coach myself and say "you know what, I adore this woman and I am going to recondition myself to be aroused by her even with these body changes" then I would just open myself up to it, get professional help if needed, experiment, play around (which I already know you and her have been doing) and I would also remove the thing that feeds your current conditioning, the porn. You love this woman... don't panic, just like you had to condition yourself to play football, this is no different. It will happen and part of that is not pulling the plug too soon. It took almost five years for my old conditioning to morph into new conditioning. Be patient with you and her, build great memories, love life with your woman. You got this.


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## MarriedTex (Sep 24, 2010)

BigRed,

We're all very visual creatures. We're conditioned to like / love the things we see a lot. It's good that your open and communicate with your wife about your feelings. What's not good is the steps (or lack thereof) to move on.

The porn images remind you of what you think you have "lost." Simply put, if you don't cut out the porn, you're never going to develop an attraction for your wife the way she is now. If you want to maintain the status quo, keep watching porn. 

My suggestion is to replace the porn with erotica. I think there are one or two sites on the web that might feature material of this nature. :smile2: This will stimulate your desire without filling you with the harm-causing images. Over time, this may provide you with sexual energy that you can channel towards your wife without the baggage of being constantly, visually reminded of the changes that have taken place.

Second, stop the excuses on the exercise. Would your coach accept your excuses? Well, I don't either. Given your physical condition, you have two choices. Start swimming regularly or get a recumbent bike. You don't have to do a lot to start out, but you have to start building up stamina in activity that doesn't put tremendous stress on the knees. Those are the options. Pick you poison and get after it!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

The reason why you are struggling, is because your brain has been so damaged by the porn that you can no longer get turned on by a normal sized woman. She must look like a porn star for you to be interested sexually and that why porn use is so damaging. Its horrible to compare your wife to porn stars, and to be thiming about going to see strippers. 
I am amazed that she has been ok with you looking at porn all this time. Its a common thing that men who are addicted to porn loose their ability to get turned on by a normal average lady and a normal relationship. 
The only solution is to stop the porn for good, because that is making the situation far worse, and gradually hopefully your brain will readjust. 

In the meantime, be the best husband and father you can. Its not all about you and your desires.


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## POV3486 (Jan 18, 2017)

Ok, ok..wow. I get that you miss her giant boobs but are we seriously talking about this? What if your wife got breast cancer and she chose to have a mastectomy as part of her cancer treatment... would you seriously be upset to the point of not getting off when you look at her/were with her because of this? Did you take vows that said something along the lines of accepting this person through good and **** times, through sickness and health...and you can't handle her going down a couple of cup sizes? For reals?

You say you're going to get ripped here and you were right because you know, somewhere in your selfish head, that this is wrong. She's your wife dude...the way that you're talking here makes me feel like you married her boobs, not her. 

I do get it. You really, really, REALLY liked that part of her body. I think you are probably objectifying her body and using the porn to support that, like the other poster said. You are making it a big deal by constantly reinforcing this idea in your head that you were so in love with big breasts. You only mentioned it 8 million times. Your wife feels better. She's not in pain anymore. Mourn your selfish loss and get back to loving her for her and not just getting off between her boobs.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

The OP hasn't been here since *March 2016*. I doubt he's going to hear any of this.


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## james5588 (Mar 22, 2017)

anchorwatch said:


> The OP hasn't been here since *March 2016*. I doubt he's going to hear any of this.


Likely. But others could benefit as well. Have you had a sleep study to test for sleep apnea? I was suffering with 53 episodes per hour. After I started treatment, things just fell into place for me physically speaking.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

Reality check here: 
The BR surgery was absolutely necessary, otherwise you would be looking at back surgery within 10 years and probably long term disability within 20. So pull your head out of your ass, the surgery likely saved her from a wheelchair, if not spinal fusion. (Former GF with a massive rack, whose husband threatened divorce if she underwent the surgery. Too late, required spinal fusion due to degenerative disk disease exacerbated by being pulled forward constantly by two overfilled water bags on her chest)

Next: Both of you need to drop the weight. (I know, former 325lb 5'10" Half-back - Canadian Football), now 198lbs and having the most fun in decades. Here is something that will keep you up nights: I didn't know I was diabetic until I hit the ER in the middle of a heart attack. That is what obesity does. Give it a decade or so, and you will not have to worry about being attracted to your wife, obesity, and diabetes adds up to erectile dysfunction. 
Your wife's colorectal issues may also be diet related.


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## DontTell007 (Jul 10, 2018)

Maybe she could wear a padded size 40DD bra under a sexy teddy - turn the lights low and take a V. Problem solved.


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