# Can someone please help me decide what to do?



## gotagunplz (Apr 4, 2014)

I've been with my wife now for 4 and a half years. Married for 7 months.

She's an amazing woman, worships me, loves me very much, loyal, hard working, will make an amazing mother! And I have had a happy time with her and an easy time!

I care for her very deeply and would find it difficult to find another woman with such qualities. Problem is I'm not sure if I have ever truly loved her. I mean I love her but as in been in love with her, I don't think so.

About 2 years ago I had a flirt with someone and I contemplated leaving. But decided against it and never let anything happen. 

After getting married the plan was to move to her homeland. I always went along with this idea but truth is I never thought it through! Truth is I wonder if I can ever be truly happy here. 

Before I moved I panicked and I strayed, and unfortunately for me I have fell madly in live with this other person. With her I feel like she is the love of my life and that I'd be an honest person and never consider straying again because I'm not really the type. And with her I just feel like I'd like to live my life with her and better myself. But with my wife I worry that I'll stray again or I'll never be truly happy and I'd have these urges to bed other women!

I'm horrible for what I've done! But I'm constantly torn and I don't know what to do. 

When I'm away from my wife I just don't want to hurt her and I feel so guilty because she deserves the world. But I'm madly in love with this other person. I'm constantly torn and I'm all over the place to be honest. 1 minute I want this, the next I want that. The problem with the other person is that there's no guarantee that it could work out. Yet I'm desperate not to be alone. 

Sometimes I think I can make things work with my wife other times I think I'll never be truly happy. And sometimes I think, and this is horrible I know but I think that I need to be with someone that is safe.

Anyone been through this and can give advice. Also, feel free to skald me cos I deserve it.

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