# left my sex addicted husband



## loulady471

Just writing the title of this post feels unreal to me. We separated 8 months ago and I was doing pretty good for a while. It seems I may have been kidding myself about the gravity of the situation and the effects its had on me. He is dating someone new and I saw this happy picture of the two of them on fb. It has hit me like bricks. Not to mention on the same day that I saw the post, I was chatting with an old friend who thought it was appropriate to tell me that my ex had slept with his mother. He also added that his mother had mentioned that my ex had a "big ol ****". Is this for real? Is this really my life? 

I just want to move out of state and start all over again and never ever look back. I can't even do that because we have children together. It seems that everywhere I turn there is another reminder. I was at the water park with my kids when another one of his little flings that I had found out about was standing right beside me with her family and her children. I just moved along and tried not to think about it. On top of it all is I still love the guy. We were together for 23 years total and married 16. I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up and everything will have been this crazy nightmare. 

I guess deep down I knew that something wasn't right but I could never really put my finger on it. I met him when I was 16 so I have no other relationships to compare it to. I obviously have some esteem issues and I desperately wanted to have a perfect little family for my kids since my own childhood was not picture perfect to say the least. I've done the hard part by leaving and honestly I guess I thought that maybe that would be a wake up call for him to get treatment but it wasn't. 

know that I am not perfect and just before we separated I had an affair of my own. I rode that distraction for a while. I think I was looking for validation. Since we have separated I have had several people tell me horrific things about who he has slept with. They are all people that were thought of as friends, women that were in my home and life. Every time someone tells me something new it's like a step backwards in my healing process. I need to let go but it's so hard to do. 

It's hard to let go of the dream and all the good memories. He has slept with over 10 women that I know of and that doesn't include the massage parlors and god knows what else. So I just need to let go and move on right?


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## EleGirl

Do you live in a small town?

When people start telling you things about what he did, why not just stop them and tell them that you don't want to hear it. 

I ended all "friendships" with anyone who stated telling me this sort of nonsense after my divorce. If they knew this while I was married to him, and they did not tell me, they are not friends of mine.


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## loulady471

Your absolutely right about them not being friends of mine. They are "friends" of his that felt the need to tell me things


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## aine

Loulady, I am so sorry you are going through this but you are so much better off without him. You will detach in time and meet someone who is worthy of you. He wil get what is his, he sounds like a right dog tbh.

If possible you should get some counselling to help you heal. How old are your kids?

What is the arrangement with regard to the kids?


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## arbitrator

*File! For both yours and the kids sake!*


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## loulady471

We have joint custody of the kids and they seem to be doing okay. My oldest is 17 and he has had some issues with girls but it doesn't seem to be out of the ordinary troubles. My youngest who is 10 has always had some behavioral issue and they have gotten a little worse. I can't stand it when they are not home but he is not a terrible father so I can't justify anything other than joint custody.


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## SunCMars

loulady471 said:


> Your absolutely right about them not being friends of mine. They are "friends" of his that *felt the need to tell me things*


On their confessions:

A trite quote would be: "Rub salt in the wound". These non-friends relish in their gossip and discard any notion....of Your' pain, Your' humiliation.

They knowingly speak the words as they revel....reveal their sharp slice of truth? Maybe lies and rumors...it does... matter not, to these peons. 
Matters that are knotted in twisted spittle that dribbles forth from their snotty potty mouths.

Words that titillate and arouse themselves, if they skewer the victim, then more so, they further this feeling. This evil, silly, "Chris Mathew's 'Tingle" that runs down their stump legs.
......................................................................................................

He did this, he did that, means: "I wish I were him, I would love to swim in those dark waters, feel those dark thoughts, to actually feel the hands of the devil stroke my naughty side". And to run through life naked and slam into as many women that would have me.

......................................................................................................

On his large package:

It is his only selling point. You see, it is the only thing that gives him validation. And it gives him courage and surety, where lesser men would fall...short.
The package is connected to a skunk. He being, a vain, odorous and selfish ****head.

And once the word gets out...on his 'condition'..... loose, hungry, curious women gleefully pile on his Totem. 

Sans the package, he is a bottom feeder. A little, insignificant man, in some out of focus picture, in some place, in some time...I think it was/is taken in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico.....a bit down the cactus lined, sandy road from @EleGirl 's grande hacienda.


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