# Special things a husband can do that really makes you feel loved?



## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Hello Ladies,

As many of you may know I've had some troubles with my Marriage lately (as you can see in the main forums). Today, though I'm feeling good about my relationship moving in a positive direction.

So, I have 2 questions...

1. What are things your husband does that make you feel special. Hoping for something outside of the typical Flowers/Chocolate as those are my usual "go to" 

2. She also tells me she wants me to show my love for her "emotionally" and feels overwhelmed by my physical attention (hugs, kisses, cuddles, smelling her hair)

Bonus question. Anything your husband does to get you in the mood! Because I've been in the mood a lot lately, but she hasn't been.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

My husband does lots of small things which make me feel loved by him. 

He listens to me when I am bothered. He will not leave me alone unless he is sure I am happy again. 

He spends a lot of time with me. He goes shopping with me. He goes cycling with me. He enjoys spending time with me. 

He needs sex less often than I do, but he lets me have sex at anytime I want, midnight, early morning, early afternoon, anytime. He is always there for me even though sometimes he is tired and he doesn't want to come. 

He likes to fondle me all the time. Whenever he gets an opportunity, he will kiss me, grope me, and caress me. 

I am not a materialistic girl, I don't need expensive gifts to make me feel being loved. It's all the attention I get from my husband makes me cherish our marriage, and I want to do all I can to make my husband happy.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

greenpearl said:


> My husband does lots of small things which make me feel loved by him.
> 
> He listens to me when I am bothered. He will not leave me alone unless he is sure I am happy again.
> 
> ...


That's awesome, Pearl.

I wish my wife enjoyed that kinda thing, because that's definitely what I like (and like to do to her). She says I'm "smothering" her too much. She also doesn't like any form of PDA.

Anyways, I'm still looking for "emotional"? displays of Love, I guess. I'm wondering if she wants to sing her a ballad or make some "romantic" song like Ed Sheeran or something.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

JukeboxHero said:


> Anyways, I'm still looking for "emotional"? displays of Love, I guess. I'm wondering if she wants to sing her a ballad or make some "romantic" song like Ed Sheeran or something.


Here are some ideas you can do:

* text, email, or call her randomly during the day to say you're thinking of her and love her. 

* leave her small love notes in random places in your house(post in note on the door/wall, white board marker on the mirror or an empty picture frame). 

* make breakfast for her and have it ready before she gets up.

* wash her car for her or take care of other car needs so she doesn't have to worry about it.

Little things that can make a big difference. 

I'm not a fan of actual gifts from my husband, but he does a lot of the above, which I really love. I wish my husband was more physically affectionate.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

- I was angry with him recently. I told him I was and why. He replied, I hear you are angry and you want me to do xyz. I will try to do better at xyz.

- Happy sighs when I cuddle him in the night.

- Reaches out for me when I kiss him good bye in the morning.

- Making things that I like for dinner.

There are a ton more.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Dishes, apparently.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

JukeboxHero said:


> Hello Ladies,
> 
> As many of you may know I've had some troubles with my Marriage lately (as you can see in the main forums). Today, though I'm feeling good about my relationship moving in a positive direction.
> 
> ...


Well, I love flowers and chocolate. A lot.  But there are many other things my husband does that make me feel special. He plays with my hair, he rubs his fingers against my back, he gives me a lot of affection without expecting it to lead to sex (which is why it usually does lead to sex), he says he loves me everyday, he gives me little compliments everyday that make me absolutely soar, if he's busy working on something at home or even just goofing off playing a video game, he'll pause it periodically to give me a kiss and a hug just to let me know he was thinking of me...all wonderful ways that he makes me feel loved, special, adored.



> 2. She also tells me she wants me to show my love for her "emotionally" and feels overwhelmed by my physical attention (hugs, kisses, cuddles, smelling her hair)


Sometimes it's not the physical affection itself that is overwhelming, but rather the expectation that sex will be he result of physical affection. It is important that there be a distinction. I noticed that when my husband started saying things like, "I love you" and "You're such an amazing woman" whenever he gave me a hug or kiss, it helped to refocus the attention to emotional fulfillment rather than sexual. For me sexual fulfillment is important as well, so I love the expectation of sex. Still, sometimes I do need non-sexual affection and a little compliment/loving statement when being given physical affection helps. 

Also, I recommend asking her what her love language is. If she doesn't know, I recommend trying _His Needs, Her Needs_ and _Love Busters_. To her, emotional fulfillment could be in simply spending more time with you...it could be in admiration...it could be in receiving gifts, etc. It's important you know her individual emotional needs to effectively fulfill her emotionally. 



> Bonus question. Anything your husband does to get you in the mood! Because I've been in the mood a lot lately, but she hasn't been.


Well, firstly, having my emotional needs met is a sure fire way to get me in the mood. It's not easy to want to be physically intimate with someone when you don't feel that they make you a priority. Aside from that, Sexual Fulfillment is a top emotional need of mine, and I have strong sexual desires...so it doesn't take much at all to "be" in the mood, really.

But an example of things that do get me in the mood...tender kisses in places other than my lips...I literally can't take it when he brushes his fingertips down my neck toward my chest but doesn't actually touch my chest...it sends me into a whirlwind of sexual arousal. The way he kisses me takes my breath away....I love it when he cups the back of my head while we kiss.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JukeboxHero said:


> That's awesome, Pearl.
> 
> I wish my wife enjoyed that kinda thing, because that's definitely what I like (and like to do to her). She says I'm "smothering" her too much. She also doesn't like any form of PDA.
> 
> Anyways, I'm still looking for "emotional"? displays of Love, I guess. I'm wondering if she wants to sing her a ballad or make some "romantic" song like Ed Sheeran or something.


What part of greenpearl's post is like what you like to do?

1. He listens to me when I am bothered. He will not leave me alone unless he is sure I am happy again. 

2. He spends a lot of time with me. He goes shopping with me. He goes cycling with me. He enjoys spending time with me. 

3. He needs sex less often than I do, but he lets me have sex at anytime I want, midnight, early morning, early afternoon, anytime. He is always there for me even though sometimes he is tired and he doesn't want to come. 

4. He likes to fondle me all the time. Whenever he gets an opportunity, he will kiss me, grope me, and caress me. 

5. I am not a materialistic girl, I don't need expensive gifts to make me feel being loved. It's all the attention I get from my husband makes me cherish our marriage, and I want to do all I can to make my husband happy.

These are some very different things.. which of them do you do right now?


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## yeah_right (Oct 23, 2013)

- Folding laundry
- Random, goofy texts for no reason
- Spooning at night
- Giving oral
- Scalp massages
- Lifting the armrest between us at the movie theater
- Taking the kids away for a few hours (mine are grown but I appreciated this so much back in the day)

I think a lot of women will appreciate different things based on their love languages. I could care less about getting an actual gift.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

For me its just the simplest of things. Him kissing me and cuddling me when he gets in from work. Telling me he missed me.

complimenting me on my food i cook for him every night.

Telling me how good i look when i have made an effort to dress up and look nice ( do not always get the opportunity).

Just appreciating the things that i do for the family. Making me feel special.

I do not eat chocolates But i love red roses.

Sorry i am just easy to be pleased.


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## 4x4 (Apr 15, 2014)

Created2Write said:


> Also, I recommend asking her what her love language is. If she doesn't know, I recommend trying _His Needs, Her Needs_ and _Love Busters_. To her, emotional fulfillment could be in simply spending more time with you...it could be in admiration...it could be in receiving gifts, etc. It's important you know her individual emotional needs to effectively fulfill her emotionally.


This! You may think it's something else than she does. At least read through it a bit yourself to try to help you guess her type if you're trying to surprise her in the short run. She doesn't sound like Physical at least so maybe she's more into a nice home cooked meal, a thoughtful gift, or a good night out somewhere she enjoys just you two.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> Also, I recommend asking her what her *love language* is. If she doesn't know, I recommend trying _His Needs, Her Needs_ and _Love Busters_. To her, emotional fulfillment could be in simply spending more time with you...it could be in admiration...it could be in receiving gifts, etc. It's important you know her individual emotional needs to effectively fulfill her emotionally.


OP, do you know what her love language is? 

That will make a huge difference in how to approach this. If you don't know it, take the test online together. My love language is physical touch, so my husband doing a bunch of Acts of Service(his love language) is really nice, but not exactly how I see love. I crave the physical touch, to be hugged, touched, kissed. A woman who has a Quality Time love language will want something different. It depends on what your wife's love language is.


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> What part of greenpearl's post is like what you like to do?
> 
> 1. He listens to me when I am bothered. He will not leave me alone unless he is sure I am happy again.
> 
> ...


1. I don't know about the listening part. If I try to say anything while she's talking (even if I feel there's a pause) she seems to get upset and says I'm interrupting her. Even if I'm asking her something like "Why does that bother you" etc. Yesterday she was telling me about a conversation with her mom about our debts and I said "we Could pay off x debt first if you want to" and she scolded me for interrupting her and says I do it all the time and I should just listen.... Guess it's something I need to work on.

2. I do almost everything with her, Shopping, Cooking, Laundry, her Catholic Church for lent, etc...

3. The big things I feel I do are the physical hugging, Kissing her on her cheeks/lips, smelling her hair (which I love, it's soooo intoxicating and addictive), tell her I love her and kiss her every morning before leaving for work
She responds with "take care" but hasn't been responding with "I love you too" Or "Me too" for awhile, which concerns me.

I try to text her every day with something "how is my beautiful Baby today?", I always compliment her cooking, tell her she looks Sexy/beautiful. She actually complained once that I called her sexy too much, or she didn't like it when I called her sexy...something along those lines. 
I also do the occasional massage whenever she asks for it. I acutally bought a massage on Groupon, I saved it as a surprise for her until the last minute. Unfortunately, it ended up being in some run-down strip-mall in a rough neighborhood. It was in a back a barbershop/salon and she didn't feel comfortable about the whole situation, so we left.


On the plus side, she complimented me for doing a good job helping her clean up the house this past weekend.

I really like the idea of doing the Love Languages thing. I tried to take the test, but it asked for my email and I wasn't sure if it was one of those things that might spam me, so I aborted. But the more I think about it, the more I like it, though I'm pretty cetain I know her Love Language is Acts of service, QT and Gifts


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

JukeboxHero said:


> 3. The big things I feel I do are the physical hugging, Kissing her on her cheeks/lips, smelling her hair (which I love, it's soooo intoxicating and addictive), tell her I love her and kiss her every morning before leaving for work
> She responds with "take care" but hasn't been responding with "I love you too" Or "Me too" for awhile, which concerns me.


YES, learn abotu love languages. Touch is so NOT mine. This would drive me batty.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

JukeboxHero said:


> 1. I don't know about the listening part. If I try to say anything while she's talking (even if I feel there's a pause) she seems to get upset and says I'm interrupting her. Even if I'm asking her something like "Why does that bother you" etc. Yesterday she was telling me about a conversation with her mom about our debts and I said "we Could pay off x debt first if you want to" and she scolded me for interrupting her and says I do it all the time and I should just listen....


My husband and I run into this with each other sometimes. It's not always easy to see where one is expected to respond, and being interrupted can be irksome if it happens a lot. Also, sometimes women don't really want a "fix" to what we're frustrated about, we just want to be listened to and have our feelings validated. We're pretty smart, we can usually fix most situations on our own. We don't always need or even want someone to do it for us. Sometimes a situation can't even be fixed, and we just want to be listened to. Maybe try validating her feelings next time she's venting? 



> 2. I do almost everything with her, Shopping, Cooking, Laundry, her Catholic Church for lent, etc...


What do you do with her that isn't a chore or responsibility? Do you play games? Go on dates? Watch movies? Go bowling? Go to plays/the theater? It sounds like you're supportive in a lot of practical ways, but what about emotional ways? 



> 3. The big things I feel I do are the physical hugging, Kissing her on her cheeks/lipe, smelling her hair (which I love, it's soooo intoxicating and addictive), tell her I love her and kiss her every morning before leaving for work
> She responds with "take care" but hasn't been responding with "I love you too" Or "Me too" for awhile, which concerns me.
> 
> I try to text her every day with something "how is my beautiful Baby today?", I always compliment her cooking, tell her she looks Sexy/beautiful. She actually complained once that I called her sexy too much, or she didn't like it when I called her sexy...something along those lines.


"Sexy", while a compliment, is a reference to sexual desire. If she's feeling that you only desire her sexually, then telling her she's sexy will get you nowhere. Try other synonyms like beautiful, pretty, lovely, stunning, breathtaking, gorgeous. My primary emotional need is admiration, and while I love being told that I'm beautiful by my husband, I also love being told why he loves me, why I'm a great wife, a wonderful woman, why he'd choose to marry me again if he could go back and change his choice...

I'll never forget one day...I was reading a novel, I think it was _To Kill a Mockingbird_...and he looked at me and said, "Babe, I love that you love to read as much as you do. You have such a passion for literature, it's really incredible and inspiring. And you have impeccable taste in books, too! I'm always impressed with what you read." I will *never ever* forget that. It meant so much to me to hear him say that! Something I didn't think mattered at all to our relationship (my love of literature), and it was something he'd fallen in love with about me. Makes my heart soar every time I think about it.



> I also do the occasional massage whenever she asks for it. I acutally bought a massage on Groupon, I saved it as a surprise for her until the last minute. Unfortunately, it ended up being in some run-down strip-mall in a rough neighborhood. It was in a back a barbershop/salon and she didn't feel comfortable about the whole situation, so we left.
> 
> 
> On the plus side, she complimented me for doing a good job helping her clean up the house this past weekend.
> ...


Okay, well now you know. If she complimented you on helping her clean, I'd say that's a good sign. Try finding things you'll know she'll love to do, and ask her out to those things. Does she like the theater? Ballet? Sports? Music? The Symphony? Movies? Bowling? Just going out to dinner? Gifts don't have to be expensive to be thoughtful and loving, either. A single rose, a small bag of her favorite chocolates, a bottle of wine...for me, $ to go buy books and a trip to my favorite book store are SURELY to get me naked.  Also, Amazon has some incredible deals on jewelry, if she likes getting jewelry. 

If you're positive about her love languages, start meeting them asap.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

JukeboxHero said:


> Hello Ladies,
> 
> As many of you may know I've had some troubles with my Marriage lately (as you can see in the main forums). Today, though I'm feeling good about my relationship moving in a positive direction.
> 
> ...


My BF will:

-Text or call during his work day to just say hi. 
-Do my household chores (he has them too) just because. 
-Takes excellent care of me when I'm sick. 
-Truly sit and listen to me when I'm stressed about something, particularly a difficult coworker. He always has constructive criticism for me when it's warranted, and sympathizes with me when it's appropriate. And his interest in my happiness is real and genuine. 
-He respects me and is mature in his thinking, especially when we fight. He doesn't go below the belt. 

Bonus question: It doesn't happen as often as I'd like, but he'll start talking dirty. Or he'll bring up a porn on our laptop. He knows I'm not the romantic type and this is what I respond to. He's going out of his comfort zone by doing this for me.


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

I'm having trouble with this question. our love languages are so opposite...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

JukeboxHero said:


> *1. What are things your husband does that make you feel special. Hoping for something outside of the typical Flowers/Chocolate as those are my usual "go to"
> 2 . She also tells me she wants me to show my love for her "emotionally" and feels overwhelmed by my physical attention (hugs, kisses, cuddles, smelling her hair*)


 I noticed you said your wife feels you are smothering.. your love languages are clearly off...when I hear someone talk like this..... I always assume it's on their bottom...

I've been with my H for 33 yrs... I really feel the reason he satisfies me so deeply is because he is primarily a TOUCHER ... it's his TOP love language.. when I lived at home, this love language was ABSENT in my life.. .the most I got was like me & my Best friend scratching each other's backs... when I met my Husband.... it was like ...WOW".. he fed something in me.... even though I didn't understand it , or could put my finger on it...I would say even my self esteem grew.. 

For me to list all the things my H does that makes me feel ALIVE, LOVED, WANTED and cherished... everything that comes to mind involves TOUCH.. 

*1. * When I am near he reaches for my hand...He will even do this if a love song comes on the radio driving, he will reach across the seat for me. 

*2. * When his alarm goes off, he gets back in bed to cuddle for a few minutes, he may jump on me while getting dressed.. he will kiss & hug me when he leaves & when he comes home -he looks for me to kiss again.. 

*3. * When we watch movies together, his hands are through my hair up & down my arms... my Hands are all over him too.. wink wink.... This is what we LOVE.. 

I have NEVER felt my Husband was smothering, if I did, he would recoil... and he's never felt I was smothering......he'd like it if I was all tangled up in him when he slept at night even.... that is one thing I can't do, I move around too much...he'd never get any sleep!..... I need my comfort space to sleep, I like it if our butts touch though. ha ha..

All this would make sense though.. as we're both *TIME* &* TOUCHERS*.. with *Words of Affirmation* coming in at #3...

Neither one of us care about *Gifts *at all.. we would have more FUN spending time shopping together, might not even buy a thing... but still enjoyed the experience, laughing and goofing off... 

Here is a Test.. I don't think you need to use an email at the end.. ??







 Love Languages Personal Profile 




















> *Bonus question. Anything your husband does to get you in the mood! Because I've been in the mood a lot lately, but she hasn't been.*


 Have you asked her... for me back in the day when his sex drive was higher over mine.. If I was reading a Romance Novel.. Oh my!! Look out.. every time we watched a Hot steamy scene on Tv.. that was it.. it stirred me to want to grab him... It just depends on the woman... Some of us are inspired by erotica.. or if you talk dirty to us.. how you touch us.. and some may have too many things on their mind.. and it gets really tricky !

ASK HER !


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## JukeboxHero (Mar 3, 2015)

Alright Ladies,

So, I took the 5 love languages, and this is what I got.

1. Touch. Of course, I thought this would be my number #1. I really like feeling her touch, touching her, etc.
Although,
2. Words of Affirmation. I really like when she compliments me, tells I did well on a task, gave a great oral favor, etc. 
3. Quality Time. This one depends, I like to spend time with her, but if it's everyday mundane stuff like Chores, Shopping, Watching TV, it's not nearly as exciting as if she were actually interested in any of my hobbies or activities. IF she did were, I'd be so thrilled. I've always been jealous of guys who have GF's who are willing to give their SO's Hobby a try, even if it's not for them. (especially if it's some nerdy game hobby).
4. Gifts. Also nice, though she refuses to get me anything related to my nerd hobbies (painting miniatures, Magic, the Gathering, etc)
5. Acts of service. Lowest, but still important to me.

Hers
1. Acts of Service. I knew this one would be true
2. Words of Affirmation. Glad she likes it when I compliment her.
3. Quality Time. Idk, I thought this would have been almost tied for Number #1, but she says she used to love spend QT with me, but doesn't enjoy since she thinks I didn't want to spend time with her. Honestly, I did want to have a night to hang out with my friends like once every 2 weeks before. I guess she felt I didn't want to be around her. When I heard her say that, my heart sank and I felt pretty sad.
4. Gifts 
5. Touch, of course, the lowest one. I don't know why it drives her crazy when I touch her. Last night, she was fell asleep beside me while we were watching TV. I reached over and rested my hand on her hip and she woke up suddenly say "ahh baby, you scared me!" I was surprised because she knew I was sitting beside her. She's always pulling away and wants me to let her work on whatever she's doing, or my hands are cold, or some excuse to avoid being touched.

Anyways, so last night I had a Pizza ready for her when she got home, I picked up a bottle of Chardonay she wanted for cooking, and when we finished dinner, I washed all the dishes while she was talking to her cousins/nephew in PH (philippines). She was surprised when she came over and requested I do the dishes and they were already done. She complimented me and said "see, you just gotta stay one step ahead of me". 

I felt good about that and I feel like I'm being more responsible overall. Unfortunately, the rest of the night involves watching TV and sleeping. No Fun stuff.

Also, by Fun stuff, I don't necessarily mean sex, although since I haven't had any of that in God knows how long and I've really been feeling the need for it lately. 
Lately, it seems like all she wants to do is watch TV, talk to her family in PH, do Chores, eat and sleep. We used to fun stuff together like Working out, playing pool, Kayaking/Paddleboard (which we should start up again this summer), basketball, etc.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Big, giant, all-enveloping, arms wrapped around me, safe warm, looooong HUGS!! And lots of them.

He loves hugs, and I do too. We both crave them frequently. So we both give and receive them freely and often


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I'm sorry JukeboxHero...I REALLY think it would be a struggle when your #1 is her Last... and her #1 is your last.. 

It sounds you are really trying... doing what you can.. but it isn't leading to more touch/ reaching for you on her end.. that has to be difficult .... 

How often do you & she have intimacy ? Have you had a conversation expressing how much it would mean to you ?.... and in which ways she would enjoy you approach her.

I remember reading years ago about this couple that kept a male doll and a female doll on their dresser.. they must have been a little backwards in initiating or something.. so the nights HE wanted sex or SHE wanted sex.. they would put their doll on top of the other.. it was like this "heads up" ...so they knew what to expect..... 

I don't know.. seemed to work for them! That was surely different !


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

JukeboxHero said:


> Alright Ladies,
> 
> So, I took the 5 love languages, and this is what I got.
> 
> ...


Firstly, chores should be split between you, and it makes them less mundane if you do them together. If I work hard in the kitchen to cook, I sure as hell better not be left to do the dishes by myself. Doing chores together, while not strictly QT, can increase the intimacy between you. It shows her that you're willing to help get chores done, and that you desire time with her _so much_, you'll do chores just to be with her.  Big points to make. 

Secondly, if you want her to be open to your hobbies, you need to be open to hers. QT isn't going to have much quality if either of you hate the activity. A good plan is to find out what things you mutually enjoy, and start there. Once you've established a base level of mutual enjoyment in a few activities, you can start to introduce some that you each like and enjoy. But it is very unrealistic to expect her to jump into your hobbies, and likewise for her to expect you to jump into hers. So, find ones you can do together that you both enjoy. It'll build nonsexual intimacy. 



> 4. Gifts. Also nice, though she refuses to get me anything related to my nerd hobbies (painting miniatures, Magic, the Gathering, etc)


This one is a bit touchy. Sometimes the more "nerdy" hobbies can be incredibly time consuming, so it's often difficult as a spouse to support a hobby that takes precious time away from them, especially if it's a lot of time. 



> 5. Acts of service. Lowest, but still important to me.
> 
> Hers
> 1. Acts of Service. I knew this one would be true
> ...


Sometimes the things we say and how we say them can have a great effect. I covet time with my husband very much. I love being around him, and he has such a hectic work schedule, it's often very difficult to spend time together. Your desire to hang with your friends is a healthy, understandable desire. But your wife's need for QT with you isn't being met, your desire to be with friends could be seen as a desire to simply be away from _her_. If you really dedicate more time to her and make this a priority, I think you'll see things change. Not only will she love being around you again, she will also feel more confident in your relationship and encourage you to have "you time". 



> 4. Gifts
> 5. Touch, of course, the lowest one. I don't know why it drives her crazy when I touch her. Last night, she was fell asleep beside me while we were watching TV. I reached over and rested my hand on her hip and she woke up suddenly say "ahh baby, you scared me!" I was surprised because she knew I was sitting beside her. She's always pulling away and wants me to let her work on whatever she's doing, or my hands are cold, or some excuse to avoid being touched.


My guess is that this has come from too much touching and not enough meeting her other needs. I'm also going to guess that when you touch her, it has been tied to sex most of the time, so she may not "trust" your physical touch. Feeling that you're not wanted for anything other than sex is a dark place to be, and it can take a lot to learn otherwise. 



> Anyways, so last night I had a Pizza ready for her when she got home, I picked up a bottle of Chardonay she wanted for cooking, and when we finished dinner, I washed all the dishes while she was talking to her cousins/nephew in PH (philippines). She was surprised when she came over and requested I do the dishes and they were already done. She complimented me and said "see, you just gotta stay one step ahead of me".
> 
> I felt good about that and I feel like I'm being more responsible overall. Unfortunately, the rest of the night involves watching TV and sleeping. No Fun stuff.


It may take her some time to get to a place of wanting sex. It won't happen overnight. It sounds like she really appreciated your doing the dishes, so that's a great start!


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

> Also, by Fun stuff, I don't necessarily mean sex, although since I haven't had any of that in God knows how long and I've really been feeling the need for it lately.
> Lately, it seems like all she wants to do is watch TV, talk to her family in PH, do Chores, eat and sleep. We used to fun stuff together like Working out, playing pool, Kayaking/Paddleboard (which we should start up again this summer), basketball, etc


I would talk to her and figure out if she'd be willing to start doing some of that with you again. If Quality Time is important to her, she will want to start up having fun with you again. And if she thinks you don't want to be around her, it could cause her to be distant...like she thinks you might need more space. If you take the initiative and try to start up some fun things you both enjoy, it could show her that you really do miss spending time with her.


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