# Ladies, Do you get offended or disrespect a guy who stairing at you



## Beelzebub (Jun 26, 2012)

Wife said that women think about a man who stair or check them out every time they walk by as pervert and scary and disrespectful, is that true?

I'm kinda person that I like checking women out, for example if I'm on lunch break and the same woman that lunch there everyday I stair or check her out every time she pass by me but I dont turn my face all the way. I like to have an eye contact or just check them out when we come face to face or they walk by. 

does that make me pervert or scary or psycho according to my wife? 

how to check someone out without being a weirdo or disrepectful? 

by the way im not trying to cheat or anything, even when Wife and I walk outside i say check her out she is beautiful and she does the same when she see a guy, but not every time. 

I really dont have experience how women think, I been married long time since i was young.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm flattered when a guy checks me out however i wouldn't be happy if my husband checked out other women in front of me.


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## Know_Buddy (Mar 13, 2012)

Mavash. said:


> i wouldn't be happy if my husband checked out other women in front of me.


exactly. i think that shows disrespect.

OP, maybe she feels disrespected by you doing that and so she points out guys to try and show you how it feels when you do that.


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## Beelzebub (Jun 26, 2012)

what way checking you out?

Like stairing at your legs, or behind etc... is that ok?

and how to stair at a woman without looking weirdo or pervert?


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Beelzebub said:


> what way checking you out?
> 
> Like stairing at your legs, or behind etc... is that ok?
> 
> and how to stair at a woman without looking weirdo or pervert?


 Do it with your eyes closed...


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## Beelzebub (Jun 26, 2012)

Mrs. T said:


> Do it with your eyes closed...


  :BoomSmilie_anim: :banghead:


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

Beelzebub said:


> :BoomSmilie_anim: :banghead:


Sorry, but if a woman is going to be offended by getting checked out by a man there isn't much else to do but keep your eyes to yourself. Personally I think the one you need to worry about offending is your wife as you are checking out every woman that walks by. She may not have said anything about it but I guarantee she is not happy about it.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Most people don't mind being checked out, which is basically a quick and subtle peek, maybe two--but always done *w/o* the intent of signaling "I have a right to look at you as much and in whatever way I wish."

Staring, trying to make eye contact, repeatedly staring at the same woman? Yes, creepy, stalkerish, and boorish behavior. 

My "assets" are not there for your viewing pleasure. Men who treat women like that are objectifying women, and no intelligent woman (and not even most of the unintelligent ones) appreciates it. 

Your wife is correct. i think the other responders missed the point that you are staring, trying to make eye contact, etc. This is really rude behavior. cut it out.


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## tiredandout (Jun 1, 2011)

If it's just looks, I don't care. I wear abnormal clothes, have had weird hairstyles, and — well, I'm pretty hot. I've gotten used to being stared at. Doesn't bother me, I like what I look like too. 

I start to feel bothered if the looker doesn't turn away within 30 seconds and if they're really "trying something" — as in catching my eye, making gestures, commenting. That's not cool with me, but it still doesn't make me think their perverts. Just makes me think: "Dude, get over it!" — and sometimes say so too."Staring" is generally not ok. Looking is. I think there is a difference. ("staring" = keeping their eyes fixed at me no matter where I go, not letting me off the hook until I'm out of their sight. "looking" = gazing at someone for a few seconds, and then moving on. can be done a couple of times even without being weird imho.)

My husband finds it very uncomfortable if other people stare at me, or if I look at any male for longer than 3 seconds. I try to validate his feeling of insecurity, but secretly I wish he had more confidence and was less jealous. I honestly don't mind if my husband looks at other girls when he's with me. As long as he's not drooling, and keeps it under 30 seconds, it's fine with me. If it's some super hottie and he's eyes start popping out, I will tease him about it. But it doesn't happen often at all. 

I think it's normal to look at other people and for other people to look at you. We're all curious creatures! I don't look at other people thinking I want to have sex with them. I look at other people because I find people interesting. 

I agree that this might be your partner's roundabout way of telling you to stop drooling over other ladies. But we cannot know that. Ask her! "You seem to be very bothered that men look at you on the street and are bringing it up a lot lately. Is there something else you would like to say to me about it? Do you think I look at other women like that? How does that make you feel?" 

And you know what? If she says she hates it, you gotta do something about it. No matter what us ladies here will say. Because she is the one you're married to, not us.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

I don't like it, and I think it is kind of vulgar and unnecessary, yes. 

I've had guys do this and it makes me really uncomfortable. I don't like to feel undressed with a guy's eyes. But that's just me. I grew up believing all that stuff is personal.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Beelz, how would you feel if a man across the room kept staring at you? You might be wondering if he wanted to start a fight. Staring is a hostile act of power that is more than just checking someone out. It is a method of sending a message.


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

I would be creeped out by a guy staring at me with his wife present. Actually, I get pissed off as its so disrespectful and think he's a player.


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## endlessgrief (Feb 19, 2012)

It's kinda creepy when you see a guy staring. I always meet their eyes and most will look away. What's creepy is the ones that don't. 

I even throw them my lip up snarl (the look that got me in so much trouble as a kid. GET THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE was all I heard when I was growing up). If they don't look away after that, I get the hell out of dodge!!!


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

endlessgrief said:


> It's kinda creepy when you see a guy staring. I always meet their eyes and most will look away. What's creepy is the ones that don't.
> 
> I even throw them my lip up snarl (the look that got me in so much trouble as a kid. GET THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE was all I heard when I was growing up). If they don't look away after that, I get the hell out of dodge!!!


I've also found that, "Is there something you need?" works pretty well, too.


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## chkadee (Jul 29, 2012)

Yes. It's creepy and rude to stare. There are times when I hate to walk outside my building because I get stared at.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

Dosent bother me. I don't care for dice rolling or putting on lotion. 

If I notice I usually smile tightly and nod my head, they usually look away. Sometimes they look sheepishly, and remember their manners. 

My husband dosent care either. You can look all you want, but don't touch is his attitude.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

sisters359 said:


> Most people don't mind being checked out, which is basically a quick and subtle peek, maybe two--but always done *w/o* the intent of signaling "I have a right to look at you as much and in whatever way I wish."
> 
> *Staring, trying to make eye contact, repeatedly staring at the same woman? Yes, creepy, stalkerish, and boorish behavior. *
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## Dan Carruthers (Jul 14, 2012)

Women ,glance, "stare" and look intently,as well..

whether, I am in a party, meeting, sit in a restaurant or walk or drive or in an escalator,even in any church( if ever I go)...it happens..and even when ,I am with My Own.

and I will/may look at them ,but some will turn away their gaze..and when I have turned n am not looking , they would be at it again.

This is natural n fine about the way it is...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If you are obvious about checking out other women when your wife is around, you are being a creep and disrespectful to her. This is especially true if you are trying to make eye contact with other women when you are with your wife.

If you stare at this women who go to lunch at the same time you do... and you insist on making eye contact you come off as a creep. Making eye contact is an attempt to get her involved with you on some level...at least flirting with you. Got news for you… she does not care about you and probably finds you sleazy. She probably just wishes you would stop doing this. You should leave her alone. And yes she might even be scared or concerned about you. Here you are trying to get her attention every day even when she has shown no interest in you. Will you convince yourself in our little mind game that she is interested you and try to get more personal with her?

When I was younger guys were always checking me out. It was flattering when they just looked, seldom made eye contact, etc. Anything more can be very annoying at best. 

While walking to some destination, taking public transportation, in places like restaurants I’ve had men grab by boobs, my crotch and my$$. Not once enough times that I got to the point that I was leery of any man who went beyond a quick look.

A guy who does what the OP describes… basically stalks a woman and tries to make eye contact with her every day is being creepy. It can also be scary. 

It’s really hard to describe how on look is ok and another is not. But women know the difference.


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## lalsr1988 (Apr 16, 2012)

Ladies, if you don't want to be looked at, then wear less revealing clothes that show skin and shape. simple. A woman in a full length dress or skirt will not get as many looks as a girl in a skimpy top and tight pants. Very simple. Those who wear the latter and complain about guys looking, it's like going to a stripclub and beiby offended by nudity
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EynaraWolf (Aug 26, 2010)

Having a man stare at me too long IS creepy. If it's a quick glance, checking me out kind of thing, it doesn't bother me.

Also, I don't get offended or feel disrespected by my husband when I catch him checking a hot woman out. He doesn't stare, he doesn't do any creepy guy things, he's just, checking her out. I'd feel guilty and like a hypocrite if it upset me because I do notice and check out hot men.

Sometimes we make comments to each other, sometimes we don't. I would actually think it kind of strange if he never noticed a hot woman walking by us. I prefer to know that's he comfortable enough to be honest with me about it. That could just be me.


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

Surely your husbands must have steered at you in the past, before you knew one another well, I mean?


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## Beelzebub (Jun 26, 2012)

so why then wearing revealing clothes, such as mini skirts or way above knees skirts at work or out side, wearing mini tiny shorts that look like a bikini.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

i get annoyed when a man does it and he is wearing a wedding ring or when a man does it and the person with him is obviously his girlfriend/wife.

single dude checking me out in a non-intimidating,non-creeper like way?? bring it on,i am flattered.

don't keep staring.don't follow me around.

one glance and maybe a cute smile works nicely.

wanted to add that when i hear of women getting offended that a man glanced their way i laugh and think to myself "do you think you're royalty?the commoners can't have a glance at your perfect royal beauty???"


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

A glance is flattering, a stare (at anyone) is rude.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)




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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

omg holding my stomach laughing too hard


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

I don't stare at women. For some reason it makes me feel _really_ pathetic stroking their ego like that. But given the responses, it makes me wonder why women like to dress in skimpy outfits on a night out if they weren't trying to get the attention of the opposite sex. 

I mean, it's completely understandable that you want it, but why do you get offended when you get it :scratchhead:


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## Eco (Mar 9, 2012)

Complexity said:


> ... But given the responses, it makes me wonder why women like to dress in skimpy outfits on a night out if they weren't trying to get the attention of the opposite sex.
> 
> I mean, it's completely understandable that you want it, but why do you get offended when you get it :scratchhead:


Exactly...


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lalsr1988 said:


> Ladies, if you don't want to be looked at, then wear less revealing clothes that show skin and shape. simple. A woman in a full length dress or skirt will not get as many looks as a girl in a skimpy top and tight pants. Very simple. Those who wear the latter and complain about guys looking, it's like going to a stripclub and beiby offended by nudity


If you think this will stop guys from looking you have no clue.

I have never warn skimpy tops... not my style.

Geez, even when i was dressed in full fatiques guys acted like they had never seen a female. It was not just me, it was how they reacte to females in general.


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## dormant (Apr 3, 2012)

Complexity said:


> But given the responses, it makes me wonder why women like to dress in skimpy outfits on a night out if they weren't trying to get the attention of the opposite sex.
> 
> I mean, it's completely understandable that you want it, but why do you get offended when you get it :scratchhead:


Maybe they dress to be noticed by certain types. When others notice, they get upset...


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

I think this would be an issue if one was staring at a woman who was with her husband.

We are talking about blatantly staring for a prolonged time, trying also to make eye contact. I would see that as disrespectful period. Taunting even. I think you risk her husband punching you out. It matters not whether anyone wishes to call him jealous, insecure or whatever. It is what it is.

So then it would make me wonder if her husband does not notice whether most women would say to their husband. Hey this guy is creeping me out. Thinking most women would not. 

To take this further, just as the guy would be disrespecting his wife by doing this so would the woman IF she was acknowledging this stare as well.
Depending on the venue that just might invite a confrontation. Some guys who stare like that in lets say a ******* bar in Fort Worth Texas, are looking for a chick or a fight or whichever comes first. A woman acknowledging a stare might be inviting that guy to approach her when her hubby is in the rest room or even worse come over and offer her a drink. Maybe just send a drink over. Yes this really does happen.


So bringing this back in a bit. It is normal for folks to checkout one another but if it is more than a passing ambiguous glance you take your chances.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

dormant said:


> Maybe they dress to be noticed by certain types. When others notice, they get upset...


"We are talking about blatantly staring for a prolonged time, trying also to make eye contact."

Do you really think that a woman dresses up to go out with her date or husband for you (or any other male) to do the above?


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## loveandbeloved63 (Jul 30, 2012)

It's not right. 1st you already have a wife. Secondly it is very uncomfortable when a guy checks me out, I'm not a merchandise. If I were in a stip club I expect you to check me out and pay. 
But that is not the case in a daily routine. 
Be careful you could end up cheating on your wife....


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I've been checked out by guys no matter what my attire. I don't mind being casually checked out. 

On the other hand, I've also been _leered_ at by strange men while wearing corduroy trousers, a black turtleneck, boots, and a dove vest, with my ponytail pulled though a Browning cap. While clearly accompanied by my husband. It's not always a product of provocative outfits. Some guys are just creepy and inappropriate.

OP, chances are that if your wife has pointed out to you on more than one occasion that you are being creepy and inappropriate - it's because you are, in fact, being creepy and inappropriate.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Beelzebub said:


> how to check someone out without being a weirdo or disrepectful?


Sunglasses.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

But seriously...

The only thing worse than ogling a woman is being caught by her. I know I've been caught a handful of times. Mostly in theme parks (don't ask). When I catch a woman staring back, I wave. That usually gets them to walk away in disgust. Then I get their space in line. Bonus for me.


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## Beelzebub (Jun 26, 2012)

Ok 
some hurtful words

While I'm with my wife I never stare, I take a glance few seconds and I dont even turn my face. 

and even when I'm alone, I dont stare on every girl, what I mean by staring is keep my eyes on a fixed point, I look few seconds then turn my face a way. 

plus, I dont check out women any more even with my wife present.


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## HereWithoutYou (Jul 26, 2012)

I don't get offended and only feel disrespected if the guy says something out of line to me.

I mean try to be discreet...if someone's just staring at me without looking away uh yeah, that's creepy. 

I know just because I'm in a relationship that not everyone is suddenly ugly. I think it's okay to check someone out...people are still going to be attractive. Just don't be creepy about it lol


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Complexity said:


> I don't stare at women. For some reason it makes me feel _really_ pathetic stroking their ego like that. But given the responses, it makes me wonder why women like to dress in skimpy outfits on a night out if they weren't trying to get the attention of the opposite sex.
> 
> I mean, it's completely understandable that you want it, but why do you get offended when you get it :scratchhead:


Because there _are _women who thrive on that sort of attention. Being ogled is a turn on for them - particularly if the guy is with another attractive women... It's for this reason that a woman might feel disrespected if she's with a man and he ogles other women. It's a form of point scoring amongst certain women.


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

Shiksa said:


> I would be creeped out by a guy staring at me with his wife present.



Had this happen to me it is really weird, he kept staring, we were all in an enclosed area, lots of other family's and children.

he then lent me money for the drinks machine as i didn't have the correct change, i hadn't asked him, i just said thanks and thought it considerate.

you know when a man is staring because even later when you glance at them they are still doing it.

it can be unsettling.


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