# So Apparently I'm a Racist



## maritalloneliness (Mar 18, 2015)

Racism is a serious matter and it speaks of a person's personal belief that one group is superior over another. Making a comment on someone's physical appearance isn't racist. IMHO.

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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Black woman speaking here.....

I get tired of being called the name of every other black woman's name in the room.....

I also get tired of being called the names of black female celebrities...... 

After the many decade of this happening, should I just consider this an innocent oversight.......


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> @WayUpNorth
> This! You really do need a new GF. Consider leaving her even if the sex is good ... and it doesn't matter if you voted for Trump or not. If she gave you sh1t over that comment, imagine what she is going to put you through on a topic that really matters.


I agree. You two need to be able to talk through things, not just blow up and call names and not ever resolve it. Unless you like high maintenance relationships, of course. 

Has she come back and explained what she meant? Was she open to your side of it? Are you open to hers? Has either of you apologized?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

If she *did* look like Michelle Obama, then your GF is probably an idiot.

OK. Bearing that it mind, do you want to marry an idiot, have her carry your children, be a part of your life, going forward?


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

WayUpNorth said:


> That is exactly what she said today. To her it meant that all black people look alike. To me that idea is absolutely absurd. If I said a white woman looked like Laura Bush, would that mean I thought all white people looked alike. Uhm. that would be a big hell NO.


You're omitting the most crucial information. Who did you say looks like the FLOTUS? That's the key to this. If you said Whoopi Goldberg then you DO have a problem.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

NextTimeAround said:


> Black woman speaking here.....
> 
> I get tired of being called the name of every other black woman's name in the room.....
> 
> ...


*
*

No. You might want to consider that you are not presenting yourself in a manner that encourages people to remember your name. Some people remember faces but not names. A simple "Hi, I'm So&So, we met at blah-blah or worked on this&that" will jog their memory. If not, who cares? It's not like they're going to call you for dinner.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

WayUpNorth said:


> Was watching tv the other day, and commented that a lady looked like Michelle Obama. The **** storm that ensued was not expected on my part. My response was that if it had been a white person on tv, and I said she looked like Laura Bush things would have been completely different. So, am I a racist?


I have heard of silly things but this one takes the cake. NO, you are not racist because you believe one person looks like another person.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

vvvvvvvvvvvv


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

VermisciousKnid said:


> You're omitting the most crucial information. Who did you say looks like the FLOTUS? That's the key to this. If you said Whoopi Goldberg then you DO have a problem.


THIS.

If an objective person would agree in the similarity then you are fine and your GF is a left wing nut job who needs stop being ignorant.

If there is no resemblance other than their race and gender then you're probably in trouble with the politically correct crowd.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

BetrayedDad said:


> THIS.
> 
> If an objective person would agree in the similarity then you are fine and your GF is a left wing nut job who needs stop being ignorant.
> 
> If there is no resemblance other than their race and gender then you're probably in trouble with the politically correct crowd.


Yup. I generally avoid comparing people's looks because it's bound to backfire anyway. I watched an acquaintance of mine compare our female coworker to some attractive actress thinking it would be a compliment but she was really insulted. In my opinion she only bore a slight resemblance to the actress and wasn't as attractive, but for whatever reason she took it badly. 

Since then, I don't do that.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

VermisciousKnid said:


> Yup. I generally avoid comparing people's looks because it's bound to backfire anyway.


Agreed as well. I do the same. It's just not worth it blowing up in your face over a dumb comment even if it's innocent to you.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Blondilocks said:


> [/B]
> 
> No. You might want to consider that you are not presenting yourself in a manner that encourages people to remember your name. Some people remember faces but not names. A simple "Hi, I'm So&So, we met at blah-blah or worked on this&that" will jog their memory. If not, who cares? It's not like they're going to call you for dinner.


YEs, but why confuse my name with the only other black person in the room or a black celebrity. Now if someone Jackie Kennedy, there would be no doubt.......


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

NextTimeAround said:


> YEs, but why confuse my name with the only other black person in the room or a black celebrity. Now if someone Jackie Kennedy, there would be no doubt.......


The brain is a strange thing. When nervous or self-conscious, some people say embarrassing things. That's what a Freudian slip is. Your brain betrays you and deposits the wrong word in to your sentence. Like the guy who means to say "I like your new boots" and says "I like your new boobs" instead. Total brain betrayal.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I think there are a couple of different issues. 

There are honest mistakes, and there are real biases. 

I work at a site with very few women. A few years ago I addressed one woman by the name of another. There was no evil intent, I had been working long hours and my exhausted brain simple glitched. I apologized, but its not something I can guarantee I won't do in the future, I'm just bad with names. 

The brain pattern matches. This means that it is natural and unintentional to confuse people from a under-represented group. Your brain can accidentally latch on to something that is a characteristic of a group rather than of a person. It notices straight black hair, dark eyes, etc - and misidentifies one Asian person as another. 

For people like me with modest facial aphasia its a huge problem. I already have difficulty recognizing faces, and faces of an underrepresented group make the much more difficult. 

You can get angry at people who do this if you want, but it won't help them change. I think its better to reserve anger for people who are actively racist: people who believe that your race defines your abilities, rather than those who's behavior is unintentional and who cannot voluntarily change. 

You can put a gun to my head, and I will still sometimes misidentify people of races that I rarely see. 





NextTimeAround said:


> Black woman speaking here.....
> 
> I get tired of being called the name of every other black woman's name in the room.....
> 
> ...


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

This is where we are today. ~5000 years after the long aimless walks in the desert. ~3500 years since Mesopotamia. The Tigris-Euphrates River Valley Civilizations brought us metal working and agriculture. It continued the traditions of tribalism, later, plundered by warrior hordes.

People distrusted strangers then, they still do today.

The current president did not hold that hate inside of him. He is and never was a "Man of the World". He remains Barry Obama from Honolulu. What a shame.

BHO is not unique in this regard. After all, none of us [two-legged, opposable-thumbed creatures] are "light reactive" negative. When the sun hits our skins, the reflected/refracted light waves [glare-bright] our differences.

Inside, the same and close, outside...worlds apart.

.................................................................................................................................

Your girlfriend has inner guilt and conflict. She senses your tribal attitude. Being a millennial, she was taught tolerance and respect for all. She was taught that diversity is good. 

Tolerance and Diversity are good. But the implementation must begin with tolerance and diversity of opinion. A foreign concept to her and millions of others. 

I am right and you are an idiot, does not a toilet-paper airplane fly.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Get in the basket with the rest of us deplorables


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Was watching the Cowboys game the other day and some guy compared Dak Prescott to Randall Cunningham. I thought to myself, why, because he is black? To me he reminds me of a young bigger Joe Montana. People always want to compare a black person to another person of the same color instead of an equally great player. Oh I'm a Texans fan, so don't tell anyone I was watching the Cowboys.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Ok, so I have a brother who looks like George Clooney. I say that all the time. We're white. What does that make me?


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

WayUpNorth said:


> Was watching tv the other day, and commented that a lady looked like Michelle Obama. The **** storm that ensued was not expected on my part. My response was that if it had been a white person on tv, and I said she looked like Laura Bush things would have been completely different. So, am I a racist?


This needs to be investigated a little further.

1) Was the person you said she looked like Denzil Washington
- If no, you are not racist.
- If yes, go to question 2.

2) Do you have really bad eye sight
- If no, you probably are a bit racist
- If yes, you might be a little racist, but you really need better glasses.

If hope this helps.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself when I read this thread...










aaaaaaaaaand the proper response to your thread title is....


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

NextTimeAround said:


> Black woman speaking here.....
> 
> I get tired of being called the name of every other black woman's name in the room.....
> 
> ...


If someone called you Halle Berry, you should take that as a compliment.


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

VermisciousKnid said:


> You're omitting the most crucial information. Who did you say looks like the FLOTUS? That's the key to this. If you said Whoopi Goldberg then you DO have a problem.


Let's assume he did say Whoopi Goldberg looked like FLOTUS. How does that make him racist? Maybe he just thinks Michelle Obama is not attractive. How does thinking a particular person is not attractive make a person racist?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Being called racist these days is quite meaningless because people no longer seem to have a clue what the term actually means. 

These days, unless one falls over backwards to embrace multiculturism in preference to one's own culture, it's pretty much guaranteed that one will be called a bigot, hater or racist by those who are spineless yet intent on being seen to be politically correct, even when this is far from true.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

becareful2 said:


> Let's assume he did say Whoopi Goldberg looked like FLOTUS. How does that make him racist? Maybe he just thinks Michelle Obama is not attractive. How does thinking a particular person is not attractive make a person racist?


OP hasn't fessed up to who it was. I'm thinking it was another celebrity... someone who would be much harder to mistake...

Harambe?


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## straightshooter (Dec 27, 2015)

Yeah, everyone who is not a progressive loon who does not worship Barack Obama or Hillary Cl;inton, is racist, sexist, homophobic, and any other derogatory term you can think of. That is the way these arrogant idiots think and is exactly why since King Obama took office the democrat party hold less power nationally and at every state and local level than they have in 100 years.

if you ever heard the story of the boy who cried 'wolf", it becomes meaningless they use it so much.

Just look at what they are doing now. There is a young intelligent 14 year Congressman Ryan from ohio who dares to run against Nancy the loon Pelosi and his own party is calling him sexist because he dare to do that.

pay no attention to the nonsense. They see racists in the air or their safe space. just give them more Kleenex


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

Kivlor said:


> OP hasn't fessed up to who it was. I'm thinking it was another celebrity... someone who would be much harder to mistake...
> 
> Harambe?


He could have compared Ray Lewis to Michelle Obama and even that wouldn't make it racist. Sexist, maybe; being a jerk, definitely; but not racist. Many people don't even know the meaning of that word, nowadays. Everything's racist. That just trivializes what the victims of real racism went through.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

becareful2 said:


> He could have compared Ray Lewis to Michelle Obama and even that wouldn't make it racist. Sexist, maybe; being a jerk, definitely; but not racist. Many people don't even know the meaning of that word, nowadays. Everything's racist. That just trivializes what the victims of real racism went through.


 It was a joke
If you haven't already you definitely should have clicked the link >


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

Kivlor said:


> It was a joke
> If you haven't already you definitely should have clicked the link >


I did. She got that Milo gay guy kicked off of Twitter.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

becareful2 said:


> I did. She got that Milo gay guy kicked off of Twitter.


OMG really?


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## WayUpNorth (Dec 14, 2013)

Kivlor said:


> OP hasn't fessed up to who it was. I'm thinking it was another celebrity... someone who would be much harder to mistake...
> 
> Harambe?


Nope. Wasn't another celebrity. Wasn't Whoopi or Denzel. It was an attractive and talented black woman. Body shape and size just like Michelle, and wearing a dress much like the ones we often see her wearing.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

WayUpNorth said:


> Nope. Wasn't another celebrity. Wasn't Whoopi or Denzel. It was an attractive and talented black woman. Body shape and size just like Michelle, and wearing a dress much like the ones we often see her wearing.


Okay... You're saying no one here would recognize her? It sure would help to know who it is, but either easy your GF went off the deep end.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

RandomDude said:


> OMG really?


It was! But her oppressing of Fabulous Milo is homophobic.(and possibly antisemitic) So, the real question is which part of the progressive stack is the greater evil? Who wins in the Oppression Olympics?


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

RandomDude said:


> OMG really?


What's wacist?:smile2:


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Wow I was insulted this past summer and didn't even know it! I took my niece and nephew to the zoo and some woman looked at me and said "hey you look like Steve Martin" I just laughed but guess I should have called....well I don't know but someone, the Race police maybe. You see she was black and I'm not, she probably thinks all us old white guys look like Steve Martin!


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Cooper said:


> Wow I was insulted this past summer and didn't even know it! I took my niece and nephew to the zoo and some woman looked at me and said "hey you look like Steve Martin" I just laughed but guess I should have called....well I don't know but someone, the Race police maybe. You see she was black and I'm not, she probably thinks all us old white guys look like Steve Martin!


yeah, the first couple of times, I would see it as funny as well.


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## alexm (Nov 29, 2008)

I agree with the others here who have said the word "racist" no longer means what it used to mean.

What happens in cases like these is not racism, but more the brain picking up on visual clues, searching the memory banks, and coming up with the closest approximation to what we were looking for.

If you're say, a member of a secluded Amazon rain forest tribe, and you've seen exactly 3 white people in your life, then that's all you have to go on. At that point, all white people look the same to you, more or less. If two of them are similar builds, same hair color, same approximate age, etc. and both have mustaches, then you'll likely mix them up.

What I find interesting in my part of the world is people not being able to differentiate between Chinese, Japanese, Korean or Vietnamese. They're often referred to as "Chinese" or simply "Asian". I don't quite understand why people don't see the differences, myself, because I can - but at the same time, I 'get it', because the facial features of the people of those countries are more similar to each other than they are to my caucasian/European features. The same works in reverse, of course.

Is it "racist" to say person A looks like person B because the obvious similarity is skin color or over all ethnicity? Well, no. At worst, it's ignorant, IMO, but innocently so. Otherwise, chalk it up to the memory banks simply not having much to draw on. ie. Get out of your bubble a bit more!


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Kivlor said:


> OP hasn't fessed up to who it was. I'm thinking it was another celebrity... someone who would be much harder to mistake...
> 
> Harambe?


It's funny, all you gotta do is put racist in the title and it's the ****ing bat signal for all of them.

They are calling us! Grab your hoods guys, we gotta make an appearance!!!


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

In my 20s and 30s everyone thought I look like Daniel Ortega... Hilarious since I'm not Hispanic not even remotely  but the long wavy hair, mustache, oversized glasses, and funny accent pretty much convinced everyone I was Central American 










Sent from my Moto G (4) using Tapatalk


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

Herschel said:


> It's funny, all you gotta do is put racist in the title and it's the ****ing bat signal for all of them.
> 
> They are calling us! Grab your hoods guys, we gotta make an appearance!!!


Everything is racist. Black Holes are Racist. "Devil's Food Cake" is racist. The word "niggardly" is racist. (look it up snowflakes)


What's funny is all you've gotta do is make a joke, and it's certainly the bat signal for the professionally oppressed brigade.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

WayUpNorth said:


> Was watching tv the other day, and commented that a lady looked like Michelle Obama. The **** storm that ensued was not expected on my part. My response was that if it had been a white person on tv, and I said she looked like Laura Bush things would have been completely different. So, am I a racist?


 @WayUpNorth

How old is your girlfriend?

Is she a student?

Does she actually understand what real, genuine racism is?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

NextTimeAround said:


> YEs, but why confuse my name with the only other black person in the room or a black celebrity. Now if someone Jackie Kennedy, there would be no doubt.......


 @NextTimeAround I would confuse my colleague's names from time to time, at my last job.

But we were all white. So, maybe there's no racism, just confusion? :scratchhead:


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

frusdil said:


> Ok, so I have a brother who looks like George Clooney. I say that all the time. We're white. What does that make me?


 @frusdil You are a Clooneyist!


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Kivlor said:


> Everything is racist. Black Holes are Racist. "Devil's Food Cake" is racist. The word "niggardly" is racist. (look it up snowflakes)
> 
> 
> *What's funny is all you've gotta do is make a joke, and it's certainly the bat signal for the professionally oppressed brigade.[/]
> ...


*

One man's joke is another man's insult. 

Sure, some people have a hair trigger and they go off on stupid things, but that doesn't mean that every every joke/offensive statement gets a pass does it? Comparing the FLOTUS or Leslie Jones to Harambe is offensive, period. It's in a different category than getting upset over black holes and 100 year old archaic words like niggardly. The criticism of the Harambe/Michelle/LeslieJones joke stands on it's own. It's a racist joke.*


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Cosmos said:


> Being called racist these days is quite meaningless because people no longer seem to have a clue what the term actually means.
> 
> These days, unless one falls over backwards to embrace multiculturism in preference to one's own culture, it's pretty much guaranteed that one will be called a bigot, hater or racist by those who are spineless yet intent on being seen to be politically correct, even when this is far from true.


^^^^ exactly. And it gets tiresome at best.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

VermisciousKnid said:


> One man's joke is another man's insult.
> 
> Sure, some people have a hair trigger and they go off on stupid things, but that doesn't mean that every every joke/offensive statement gets a pass does it? Comparing the FLOTUS or Leslie Jones to Harambe is offensive, period. It's in a different category than getting upset over black holes and 100 year old archaic words like niggardly. The criticism of the Harambe/Michelle/LeslieJones joke stands on it's own. It's a racist joke.


Offense is taken, not given. You can choose to take offense or not. I understand that you choose to be offended. It's okay, that's your choice. The problem is when you demand that other people be offended with you. Or that they not hurt your feelings with their _jokes_. 

Me, I don't think anything (or anyone) is sacred. Say no to heresy laws. Say no to heresy punishments. No special treatment for people of different skin colors. Tell some white jokes, if they're good, I'll laugh. I've been known to tell some. Some white folk are walking memes too. Look at Carl the ****. (Warning, be don't image search him, it will turn up NSFW. Keep to article / YouTube and you'll be fine)

As for the OP, don't let this stuff get you down.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

Kivlor said:


> Offense is taken, not given. You can choose to take offense or not. I understand that you choose to be offended. It's okay, that's your choice. The problem is when you demand that other people be offended with you. Or that they not hurt your feelings with their _jokes_.
> 
> Me, I don't think anything (or anyone) is sacred. Say no to heresy laws. Say no to heresy punishments. No special treatment for people of different skin colors. Tell some white jokes, if they're good, I'll laugh. I've been known to tell some. Some white folk are walking memes too. Look at Carl the ****. (Warning, be don't image search him, it will turn up NSFW. Keep to article / YouTube and you'll be fine)
> 
> As for the OP, don't let this stuff get you down.



With our impending new president who finds offense is quite a few things, how will you feel about that?


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

NextTimeAround said:


> With our impending new president who finds offense is quite a few things, how will you feel about that?


Hard to know how I'll feel about vague hypothetical futures.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

NextTimeAround said:


> With our impending new president who finds offense is quite a few things, how will you feel about that?


He is human. If it was not for PC I'm sure our present POTUS also finds some things offensive but is not at liberty to say anything as careers could be ruined. Specifically Obamas. Trump has nothing in the game like many career politicians. We are going to hear a lot of odd ball things from Trump because PC is not a consideration take in answers from him.


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## Steve1000 (Nov 25, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> For that?
> 
> No.
> 
> A more likely explanation is that whoever said that to you is a complete idiot.


It might be understandable if the lady on tv looked atrocious... However, it doesn't seem like this applies to the OP's case.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Kivlor said:


> Everything is racist. Black Holes are Racist. "Devil's Food Cake" is racist. The word "niggardly" is racist. (look it up snowflakes)
> 
> 
> What's funny is all you've gotta do is make a joke, and it's certainly the bat signal for the professionally oppressed brigade.


I dunno, when you make a reference to a black person and a gorilla...that's pretty ****ing racist. If you are insulted by being called a racist, well, then maybe you are too sensitive.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Kivlor said:


> Offense is taken, not given. You can choose to take offense or not. I understand that you choose to be offended. It's okay, that's your choice. The problem is when you demand that other people be offended with you. Or that they not hurt your feelings with their _jokes_.
> 
> Me, I don't think anything (or anyone) is sacred. Say no to heresy laws. Say no to heresy punishments. No special treatment for people of different skin colors. Tell some white jokes, if they're good, I'll laugh. I've been known to tell some. Some white folk are walking memes too. Look at Carl the ****. (Warning, be don't image search him, it will turn up NSFW. Keep to article / YouTube and you'll be fine)
> 
> As for the OP, don't let this stuff get you down.


Offense is taken, not given. Just like when your spouse sleeps with another person in your bed while you're at work and sends you a selfie in the act, you don't have to take offense. It's all up to you to not be angry, upset, etc. Feeling humiliated and demeaned is just a choice, right?

That's why the "offense is taken, not given" excuse is a load of cr^p. 

The thing about humor is that there's an appropriate time and place for it. The time for a holocaust joke (and I've heard Jewish comedians make them) isn't on Remembrance Day and it shouldn't be delivered to an audience of holocaust survivors that isn't there specifically for comedy and can't opt out of hearing it. If you don't give people the opportunity to opt out then you are forcing your sensibilities on them. 

No one is saying that you can't find them funny but they are saying that you have to understand that some things are patently offensive and hurtful to some people.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

Herschel said:


> I dunno, when you make a reference to a black person and a gorilla...that's pretty ****ing racist. If you are insulted by being called a racist, well, then maybe you are too sensitive.


You mad bro?

You're mistaken if you think I care what you call me. :|


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

VermisciousKnid said:


> Offense is taken, not given. Just like when your spouse sleeps with another person in your bed while you're at work and sends you a selfie in the act, you don't have to take offense. It's all up to you to not be angry, upset, etc. Feeling humiliated and demeaned is just a choice, right?
> 
> That's why the "offense is taken, not given" excuse is a load of cr^p.
> 
> ...


I find it interesting that you try to equate someone saying something you don't like, to someone violating an agreement. Not exactly apples to apples, eh? 

And as to the whole opt out stuff... well, fortunately, we're on the internet. Anyone can opt out at any second. It's not like a bunch of KKK loons are outside your home, with torches and all--something you can't opt out of. 

Try to keep your analogies to things that are analogous. It makes for competent debate.

Why don't you keep your posts to something on topic, rather than wasting energy attacking me. (a futile effort) Do you have something to contribute for the OP? (I've been trying to provide him some humor. And a few kind words too) If you want to carry this fauxrage over to the P&R section, feel free to start a thread on it. You're in the General Forum.


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## Herschel (Mar 27, 2016)

Kivlor said:


> You mad bro?
> 
> You're mistaken if you think I care what you call me. :|


Lol, you mad bro. You are like one of them newfangled hipster racists. Love you guys, but you are right. I shouldn't call you anything. That would imply it's an opinion of mine. You are a racist. It's not like you care that you are. In fact, I am sure you have justified it out the wazoo.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

Herschel said:


> Lol, you mad bro. You are like one of them newfangled hipster racists. Love you guys, but you are right. I shouldn't call you anything. That would imply it's an opinion of mine. You are a racist. It's not like you care that you are. In fact, I am sure you have justified it out the wazoo.


I'd like to refer you to the last post I made to VK. If you want to continue with this, let's take it to the P&R section. You can start a thread and message me. I'd be glad to continue it. But try to keep on topic for the OP.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

Kivlor said:


> I find it interesting that you try to equate someone saying something you don't like, to someone violating an agreement. Not exactly apples to apples, eh?
> 
> And as to the whole opt out stuff... well, fortunately, we're on the internet. Anyone can opt out at any second. It's not like a bunch of KKK loons are outside your home, with torches and all--something you can't opt out of.
> 
> ...


I'll make this my last post in this thread. 

The analogy works on the level that both things are demeaning, humiliating, and painful and you can't just choose not to have the emotions that come with them. The offense is given, not taken. 

Yes, you can develop a thicker skin, but it's in response to offense.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

join the frigin club! during this election, HALF of the population was branded racist by Hilary. So much outrageous stuff was said, I am not sure that genie can be put back in the bottle. Is you wife a liberal and you are more conservative? if so, try to NOT comment on any politics for the next year.


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

maritalloneliness said:


> Racism is a serious matter and it speaks of a person's personal belief that one group is superior over another. Making a comment on someone's physical appearance isn't racist. IMHO.
> 
> Sent from my SM-N910T using Tapatalk


depends on the comment and how the person who receives it is feeling


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

Cosmos said:


> These days, unless one falls over backwards to embrace multiculturism in preference to one's own culture, it's pretty much guaranteed that one will be called a bigot, hater or racist by those who are spineless yet intent on being seen to be politically correct, even when this is far from true.



Even if you're doing it against your "own culture" folks like me will call you on your racism. Just because you're culture X (gender Y) doesn't mean you can't be a bigot against that group.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

spotthedeaddog said:


> Even if you're doing it against your "own culture" folks like me will call you on your racism. Just because you're culture X (gender Y) doesn't mean you can't be a bigot against that group.


The trouble is, 'racism' and 'bigotry' can often exist in the mind of the beholder and nowhere else... 

This is the problem with stereotyping, and it cuts both ways... Personal prejudices and poor perception can lead to a multitude of misconceptions about others, which can be just as offensive and damaging as racism / bigotry itself.

Tolerance and understanding works both ways.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

Cosmos said:


> The trouble is, 'racism' and 'bigotry' can often exist in the mind of the beholder and nowhere else...
> 
> This is the problem with stereotyping, and it cuts both ways... Personal prejudices and poor perception can lead to a multitude of misconceptions about others, which can be just as offensive and damaging as racism / bigotry itself.
> 
> Tolerance and understanding works both ways.


QFT.


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