# Sex after menopause



## BRT (May 6, 2014)

Is it common for a woman to be more sexually active after menopause?
My wife was very sexual in her twenties when we were first together, but after our children were born, she had to have a hysterectomy. 
Not soon after it seemed as if she was very moody, angry, having night sweats, and generally unhappy. 
That went on for about 10 years, now at age 49 it's as if the clock has rolled back 20+ years, or is this just a phase she is going through?


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

I sure do not have a clue, but are you in a better place now?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I am 51 and for me it was both an age thing and a hormonal thing.

Since your wife is well past menopause it is an age thing.

We, women, finally get to the age where we realize our bodies are fabulous just the way they are. We look around and realize we've spent a life time feeling like we don't measure up, picking ourselves apart because we don't look like the women in swimsuit catalogues. We have aged and realize that back in the day...we were damn hot but never realized it! And that kind of oisses us off! We spent too much time not measuring up instead of celebrating how perfect we actually were! Dammit! Not going to do that to ourselves ever ever again!

When I turned 50 I was so excited and happy! I had the second half of my life to do things right! Women should never waste a moment worrying about wrinkles on our faces or dimples on our butts! We do it to ourselves. No more of that!

That's what turning 50 is all about for a LOT of women. Some women get it at 47, 43, or 39 for the lucky ones. But usually it's close to 50 when we finally decide not to spend the rest of our lives focusing on how we don't measure up and instead focus on how we kick ass!


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Would a woman who had a hysterectmy go thru menopause?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Thound said:


> Would a woman who had a hysterectmy go thru menopause?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Right after the hysterectomy she would. But she wouldn't go through perimenopause. 

Perimenopause is the time when things get crazy. That's when our hormones are all over the place and no longer on schedule. That when the imbalance begins and that's when women tend to start behaving very differently, reacting to things in unexpected ways.

Menopause is when we haven't had a menstrual cycle in over a year and that's when things calm down and become more predictable.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

BRT said:


> Is it common for a woman to be more sexually active after menopause?
> My wife was very sexual in her twenties when we were first together, but after our children were born, she had to have a hysterectomy.
> Not soon after it seemed as if she was very moody, angry, having night sweats, and generally unhappy.
> That went on for about 10 years, now at age 49 it's as if the clock has rolled back 20+ years, or is this just a phase she is going through?


My wife is late forties , peri menopausal, and has some symptoms . Hot flashes and sometimes night sweats.
She isn't moody or anything like that.

But she is definitely more sexually aggressive, and we're having much more sex than when we were married in her twenties.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Right after the hysterectomy she would. But she wouldn't go through perimenopause.


A hysterectomy refers, clinically, to the removal of the uterus only. In general speech, when people say "hysterectomy", they might mean removal of uterus, and/or one or both ovaries, and/or the cervix. 

So, if she kept one or both ovaries, then she would have gone through all the normal peri-menopause symptoms except those related directly to menstrual bleeding.


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## BRT (May 6, 2014)

She kept both ovaries.


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## HomeFrontDadAndMore (Sep 12, 2013)

BRT said:


> Is it common for a woman to be more sexually active after menopause?
> My wife was very sexual in her twenties when we were first together, but after our children were born, she had to have a hysterectomy.
> Not soon after it seemed as if she was very moody, angry, having night sweats, and generally unhappy.
> That went on for about 10 years, now at age 49 it's as if the clock has rolled back 20+ years, or is this just a phase she is going through?


This certainly describes my peri menopausal W as well (ignoring our current issues of here work-over-home and increasing alcohol use). We've had our sexual ups and downs (downsides sometimes extending years) but for the last couple years her interest is a like our first years of marriage. It's a little unnerving but certainly welcomed


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

BRT said:


> Is it common for a woman to be more sexually active after menopause??


I sure hope so.b


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

HomeFrontDadAndMore said:


> ..but for the last couple years her interest is a like our first years of marriage. *It's a little unnerving but certainly welcomed *


Yep.

Sometimes I feel the same way.
Sometimes its difficult to keep up. 
I find it kinda strange but it's all good.


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

Thanks for sharing BRT. Gives me hope.

Is your wife on any sort of HRT?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

BRT said:


> She kept both ovaries.


That makes a huge difference since it is the ovaries that produce the hormones. So she is going through the good part of perimenopause! She can't tell easily because she doesn't get periods without a uterus.

I was assuming, as Rowan pointed out, that she had uterus and ovaries removed.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Right after the hysterectomy she would. But she wouldn't go through perimenopause.
> 
> *Perimenopause is the time when things get crazy. That's when our hormones are all over the place and no longer on schedule. That when the imbalance begins and that's when women tend to start behaving very differently, reacting to things in unexpected ways.*
> 
> Menopause is when we haven't had a menstrual cycle in over a year and that's when things calm down and become more predictable.


Just want to clarify that while this may be the experience of some women it is not a given. I am 47, been in peri for a couple of years and haven't had a period for 9 months now so well on the way to menopause.
No night sweats or mood swings, no major issues at all except a dry scalp. It does not have to be a difficult time.

Fully agree that women come into their own as they get older, more body confidence and an "I don't give a hoot, my body is amazing" attitude.

Sexually my experience has been that not much changes, have always been HD and still am.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

BRT, you a "looking a gift horse in the mouth". Those hormones may change again, just as quickly. Make sure you get in plenty of "rides" now


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

murphy5 said:


> BRT, you a "looking a gift horse in the mouth". Those hormones may change again, just as quickly. Make sure you get in plenty of "rides" now


As the ovaries crap out the T drops and the pony runs out of steam.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Holland said:


> Just want to clarify that while this may be the experience of some women it is not a given. I am 47, been in peri for a couple of years and haven't had a period for 9 months now so well on the way to menopause.
> No night sweats or mood swings, no major issues at all except a dry scalp. It does not have to be a difficult time.
> 
> Fully agree that women come into their own as they get older, more body confidence and an "I don't give a hoot, my body is amazing" attitude.
> ...


So lucky! I hate this!


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Ah we all have our stuff to live through AP. I have sailed through this part of my life so far but the baby making years were horrendous for me. Anything to do with pregnancy was revolting. I hated those times and my body did every thing it could to work against me


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> As the ovaries crap out the T drops and the pony runs out of steam.


Gees, your bed side manor is truly amazing. Are you a doctor? :lol:

Sorry if I offended anybody.


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## BRT (May 6, 2014)

Oh, I am by no means complaining, I was just wondering if this was normal, because after 15 years of hardly any sex to now where she wants it all the time, I don't want it to end, especially since I remained faithful to her for the entire 20 year marriage--I sort of feel like I deserve this.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

fightforher said:


> Gees, your bed side manor is truly amazing. Are you a doctor? :lol:
> 
> Sorry if I offended anybody.


To coin a phrase, "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

BRT said:


> Oh, I am by no means complaining, I was just wondering if this was normal, because after 15 years of hardly any sex to now where she wants it all the time, I don't want it to end, especially since I remained faithful to her for the entire 20 year marriage--I sort of feel like I deserve this.


Enjoy it while it lasts.


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

BRT said:


> Oh, I am by no means complaining, I was just wondering if this was normal, because after 15 years of hardly any sex to now where she wants it all the time, I don't want it to end, especially since I remained faithful to her for the entire 20 year marriage--I sort of feel like I deserve this.


It is a gift from god!


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## BRT (May 6, 2014)

Best gift I ever got too!


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## BRT (May 6, 2014)

Thanks for jinxing me, it looks like it's over.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Book:
What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause: Balance Your Hormones and Your Life From Thirty to Fifty


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## HomeFrontDadAndMore (Sep 12, 2013)

BRT said:


> Thanks for jinxing me, it looks like it's over.


Fear not: I'm not sure how long it's been over but mine would wax and wane within the month. Unlike prior years/decades the wane would not be much more than a few days around the time... (that would give me a much needed breather lol). So far its been about 18months here for the better - however, after catching her drunk and dry now for better than week or so, the sex has stopped cold. I'm not calling over yet - I figure I'll give it a full month to figure out what's up. You might do the same and otherwise stay the course of stoic accommodation for a bit  ...not like either us haven't played that role to death!


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

BRT said:


> Thanks for jinxing me, it looks like it's over.


Time for the testosterone and estrogen replacement.


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

BRT said:


> Thanks for jinxing me, it looks like it's over.


Perhaps a voodoo doll might help. :lol:

I would suggest you be patient. From what I have read, menopause really affects different people differently. So perhaps it will come back. If it does, dive in there and enjoy it.


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## BRT (May 6, 2014)

Now mine has gone back to hot flashes and mood swings.... what gives?


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