# no sex, separation after six weeks of marraige?



## Duckgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

Hi Everyone,

Need some advice/support here. Everyone thinks I am still a happy newly wed, but the fact is that we did not ever have successful sex since the wedding (both conservative and save for marriage, at least I think so). Then one day I received a phone call from local crisis center, husband had a thought of suicide (due to work, and marriage?). Then With the encouragement from a dominating mother-in-law, husband split the joint account one month after the marriage. He also lied about many things. So I lost my temper and he moved out, first stay with his mom, then I have no idea where. No communication, he simply stepped out of the marriage after only six weeks of the wedding.

Known him for two years, including one year living together. I thought he was happy and optimistic with me, only bugged by his mother's over protection of his son and feeling entitled to judge me. Overall he is a good person, but I am now terrified about this mother-son relation (She yelled at me: I need to have private time with my son!), irresponsibility and being self-centered.

I do not know what he is thinking now, but feel like I should not be so passive, waiting for their "sentence." I told him we could try marriage counseling but got no response from him. Am I a bad wife? I would like to hear your opinions. Thank you!


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## Duckgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

Sad...


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Bad wife? Lord no. Probably. This mother-son relationship is toxic.


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## Duckgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

so there is no hope? ...


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Duckgirl said:


> so there is no hope? ...


There still may be hope, but he has to be willing to work on the marriage along with you. The best thing you can do right now is take care of yourself. Maybe you should see a counselor or therapist by yourself and he/she can help you sort through your feelings. 

His relationship with his mother does not sound healthy. But, until he realizes that he needs to make some changes, there's not much you can do there.

Find some support somewhere and start working on sorting through your own feelings!


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## Duckgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

I hope I do not have to find a lawyer now...


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I thank god everyday that I don't have a MIL.

That being said, I don't know about her and his relationship. It kinda creeps me out.

He's separated the money and moved out. I'd see a lawyer if I were you and wish him well with his mommy. Elch.


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## Duckgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

My parents are disagreeing with each other on this issue. My father wants me to work on it, and Mom supports that I should sign the paper because H is way too much irresponsible. Marriage is not a playhouse. I do treasure my marriage, but now I am so struggling!


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## Kaincops (Dec 1, 2011)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kaincops (Dec 1, 2011)

strange and sad ..sowei..!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Duckgirl said:


> My parents are disagreeing with each other on this issue. My father wants me to work on it, and Mom supports that I should sign the paper because H is way too much irresponsible. Marriage is not a playhouse. I do treasure my marriage, but now I am so struggling!


Does he realize how unhealthy his relationship is with his mother?? Would he be willing to see a therapist and work on separating himself from his mother? 

My h's mother was abusive and had a terrible hold over him all his life. It's just been in the past year (he's 37) that he has stood up to her and told her "No More!" He's finally realized that she has this hold over him. It will take years of work, but it's a start. 

Are you willing to work with him through this if he's willing to work on it?


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

I have to ask how old your H is? It seems that your H might be a little immature and not sure of himself. His mom seems like she is now being very over protective becasue now her son belongs to another woman. Is he an only child? His mom could be going through the empty nest syndrome.

I'm assuming that since you said save your selves for marriage he might be a virgin? Perhaps he is also afraid of that first time.

Maybe you should give him some time and don't abondon all hope. He married you. If he was saving himself for that one special person, then he probably has strong religious beliefs about marriage as well. Marriage is sacred, Till death do us part.

I think it really might help you to get counseling by your self and your counselor can offer you some support and advice


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## blueskies30 (Jan 27, 2010)

Duckgirl said:


> My parents are disagreeing with each other on this issue. My father wants me to work on it, and Mom supports that I should sign the paper because H is way too much irresponsible. Marriage is not a playhouse. I do treasure my marriage, but now I am so struggling!


Don't let your parents decide for you. Do some research on your own and decide for your self. This is your marraige and not your parents


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## OnTheBrink (Dec 4, 2011)

Not a good sign! Don't let the issue be avoided or the situation drag on. You need to determine the viability of the relationship. If the marriage isn't going to work out, it will be easier to end in the earlier stages.

It's never too soon to go to marriage counseling as the longer problems are left to fester the bigger the issues become. I agree that if your spouse won't go with you, then counseling on your own should be considered.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Wow! And you seriously considering staying with this mammas boy? And THIS behavior after six weeks? 

To see a lawyer. Get an annulment. Tell him about the separations of the finances. Judges don't take kindly to that behavior. 

Find yourself a REAL man. One that shows strength and passion and isn't a puppet of his momma.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

And the first time my MIL would ever try to yell at me like that would be the last time. She needs to realize you won't stand for that crap. Even if it meant never talking to her again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Duckgirl (Nov 27, 2011)

Thank you all for the suggestions. My H is 36 and I am 32. I feel sad he never dare/wants say no to his mom; more sadly, he'd reported my behaviors to her, so that she can help him "judge" or "keep an eye". My H believes her "authority", and she works in the counseling field in the city. So, she really knows the tricks to control and manipulate.

I do love him, but I do have my own dignity as well. I filed last week.


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