# considering leaving



## lifehappens (Aug 19, 2009)

I recently remarried after my first wife passed away from a stroke. I have a son (now 11) from my first marriage. My beautiful new bride has 4 kids from previous marriages and we have a 10 month old together. My wife has a tendency to let everything upset her. She has made the comment as well that she is jealous of what my first wife and I had. This makes it hard for my son to even talk about his mom. There is a discipline factor that needs to be in place as well as a rewards factor. I believe you don’t have to kill the child or constantly yell at them to get there respect. She has a real problem with my son and the more she pushes the more he rebels. She talks to him as though she is always angry with him and talks to her kids with love and respect. I am afraid that as much as I care and love her I won’t let her drive my son away or put her through this arguing all the time. So am considering leaving. Any advice


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i think you are doing the right thing by telling her if she pushes your son away you will leave. if its jealousy thats causing her to do that then she needs to work on it. maybe you could suggest marriage counseling?


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Life..

I grew up without my real father, he died when I was 18 months old.

I grew up in a house of loving sisters and wonderful neighbors, we shared everything, everyone pitched in, my neighbors were very friendly, so friendly my friends would walk through our door without even knocking.

My mother re-married when I was 14, but knew the guy since I was 5. I was always uncomfortable around him, he made me feel like an outsider.

When we moved in together both families, I was a "outsider" in my own house. I felt Alienated, lonely, I hated life. I thought about suicide, etc. I was really torn up inside. My stepfather made it very clear I was not wanted around. He was jealous of me, I look exactly like my father who passed, but my mother made it clear I was her "little boy" he was jealous of that and it showed.

To this day, I still hate my step father, 24 years later.

My advice is leave, before it is to late, she will not change or stop, your son doesn't belong there in her eyes and she will push him out as soon as possible......trust me I came home to find my parents sold the house and I ahd to take all my belongings....no warning.


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## Flutterby (Aug 6, 2009)

How about family counseling sessions first before you leave?


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## StrongEnough (Nov 25, 2008)

Flutterby said:


> How about family counseling sessions first before you leave?


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## lifehappens (Aug 19, 2009)

Have already told her that counseling is needed for both of us. She has agreed that she has some anger issues and maybe i am seeing more into it than whats there.she insists that he does everthing just to tick her off.


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## LaBella (Mar 9, 2009)

It is her problem, if she is jelous of a person that passed away and long gone then her issues are worse that just your son. Ask her how she would feel if you start treating her children the exact way that she treats yours? I am 100% sure she will flip and treat to leave you on the spot. Go to counseling but I believe that if she cannot accept your son then leave before the issue becomes worse.


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I'm not sure how long ago your first wife passed, but has your son ever been in counselling? He may benefit from having someone to open up to about how he's been feeling and adjusting to a new step-mom, step-siblings.


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## lifehappens (Aug 19, 2009)

Thanks for all the imput, tried several suggetions, not happining. I feel it best for my son as well as my wife and her kids for me to move out. Thanks again


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## Round2 (Oct 18, 2009)

I don't blame you. Your son deserves better than that from your new wife. 
Best of luck to you!!! You're doing the right thing, for now. Perhaps being apart will give everyone some new perspective.


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