# Text from OS boss at night



## seriously_yours (Apr 16, 2012)

My Hot Florida Girlfriend started a new job a few months ago and loves it. She gets along well with everyone and is for sure the hottest thing in the office.
Her boss is an executive, she is his assistant. (* I know !!!)*
Of course she does a great job, and he is very appreciative but should this appreciation come after work hours ?
In one case we were driving out for the evening and he called her. She answered it on speaker phone in the car and all he wanted to say was " Great job you are really doing well" ... OK I get that , new on the job, getting some good feedback.....
Since then a couple times, and specifically tonight he texts her kinda un work related.
Tonights was " Sitting with my Ipad having a beer and watching football" ostensibly because she helped him set up his ipad so he could work from home in the evening. Ok.. I would have guessed he could have said thanks at work the next day ?
Now we are very open and always disclose text or phone calls so there is no hiding or secrecy but still. Does knowing this goes on make it OK ?
Am I concerned over nothing. I know there is nothing going on, but is this appropriate ?
Any input is appreciated
We are in our late 40s and have been together about 2 years living together for a year and have a great sex life so I don't want to let this slide if its the start of something, and don't want to over react if the consensus is its normal interaction
Thanks !!


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## AlphaHalf (Aug 5, 2012)

Make your presence felt. Visit your GF at work for lunch. Have her introduce yourself to him. Give him a nice firm handshake. Conduct the usual small talk but towards the end of the convo mention "Hey, my girl mentioned you were watching the game?? Who's your team?" (He will get the message)

If your GF doesn't mind, If he calls her cell, you answer the phone and hand it to her ( not all the time of course, but just a few occasions.) These little subliminal messages are noted in his mind.

Read some of the other posts on this board about Emotional/Physical Affairs. You are not out of line. That's exactly how that [email protected]#t starts. Be sure to discuss some boundaries with your GF about what both of you consider inappropriate behavior in the relationship. (IMHO I think her boss is definitely sending out his sonar, waiting to get a ping in response )


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## Lonerman (Sep 19, 2012)

Well said! My fiancee (later my wife) was working at a hotel and her boss was doing the same thing. I had one time to answer her cell and let him know that she was in the shower, that we were then going out for the evening, and that she would not be able to speak with him until her next shift and he stopped. A couple of visits to her at the hotel further convinced him that he should look elsewhere for companionship. All this guy needs to know is that you are there, you are real, you are serious, and you care. Just remember to always remain civil, at least until civility is no longer useful.


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## Drover (Jun 11, 2012)

seriously_yours said:


> Does knowing this goes on make it OK ?
> Am I concerned over nothing. I know there is nothing going on, but is this appropriate ?


No. This is how it starts. Then it builds. And eventually if the non-business communication builds into something, you'll think you know everything, which will only make it easier for her to hide. 

She can't stop him from sending her an innocuous text, but the way for her to handle it is to just not respond to anything but personal communications. If there's no response, he'll have no incentive to send them.

Keep in mind the reason bosses hire hot assistants in the first place.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

Her boss is testing the water. He's pushing on the boundaries and will continue to push. When this is shown to be okay, then he'll move to joking with her. Then joking about inappropriate things, then inappropriate pictures. Then inappropriate conversations....You see how this works right. There's a road map that a guy like that uses.

Your girlfriend really needs to put some boundaries but also not be confrontational about it (yet). Like the ipad thing she should've said "Glad I could help you with it. I'm on "home time" with my boyfriend right now so we can talk about it tomorrow at work if you had any other questions about it".


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## C123 (Jun 20, 2012)

I just wanted to say that I thought the responses here are great. Awesome advice!


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

AlphaHalf said:


> Make your presence felt. Visit your GF at work for lunch. Have her introduce yourself to him. Give him a nice firm handshake. Conduct the usual small talk but towards the end of the convo mention "Hey, my girl mentioned you were watching the game?? Who's your team?" (He will get the message)
> 
> If your GF doesn't mind, If he calls her cell, you answer the phone and hand it to her ( not all the time of course, but just a few occasions.) These little subliminal messages are noted in his mind.
> 
> Read some of the other posts on this board about Emotional/Physical Affairs. You are not out of line. That's exactly how that [email protected]#t starts. Be sure to discuss some boundaries with your GF about what both of you consider inappropriate behavior in the relationship. (IMHO I think her boss is definitely sending out his sonar, waiting to get a ping in response )


This is awesome advice.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

Can you play the part of the "possibly-psychotic-guy" without actually speaking a single word? This is what over-friendly bosses sometimes need to see. It's pretty obvious that he is testing the waters. Professionals don't do that kind of stuff after hours.


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## seriously_yours (Apr 16, 2012)

Thanks everyone for well thought and expressed replies and advice
Nice to know I am not alone here.
I would never doubt her, but she is so nice (and hot) and never thinks anyone is coming on to her, I of course think everyone is 
This opinions expressed have given me good food for thought and discussion
Y'all Rock
I love my HFG !!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
_What you do speaks so loud I can't hear what you say _


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

AlphaHalf said:


> Make your presence felt. Visit your GF at work for lunch. Have her introduce yourself to him. Give him a nice firm handshake. Conduct the usual small talk but towards the end of the convo mention "Hey, my girl mentioned you were watching the game?? Who's your team?" (He will get the message)
> 
> If your GF doesn't mind, If he calls her cell, you answer the phone and hand it to her ( not all the time of course, but just a few occasions.) These little subliminal messages are noted in his mind.
> 
> Read some of the other posts on this board about Emotional/Physical Affairs. You are not out of line. That's exactly how that [email protected]#t starts. Be sure to discuss some boundaries with your GF about what both of you consider inappropriate behavior in the relationship. (IMHO I think her boss is definitely sending out his sonar, waiting to get a ping in response )


The "Like" button is not enough here...


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

seriously_yours said:


> Thanks everyone for well thought and expressed replies and advice
> Nice to know I am not alone here.
> I would never doubt her, but she is so nice (and hot) and *never thinks anyone is coming on to her*, I of course think everyone is
> This opinions expressed have given me good food for thought and discussion
> ...


Me thinks you have a lot to learn about women.


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## Lonerman (Sep 19, 2012)

AFEH said:


> Me thinks you have a lot to learn about women.


Me thinks we all do! The one comfort I have in all this is the fact that we (men) are as much an enigma to them as they are to us!


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## jfv (May 29, 2012)

With the literature that has come out in the last 20 years on evolutionary psychology and biology, they should no longer be an enigma; Nor us to them.

When it comes to sex and romance Men and women are relatively easy to figure out at this point.

All we have to do is remember that along with our chemistry; our inner 'cave man' or 'cave girl' has more of an influence on our behavior than we wanted to admit. 

With every study that comes out on sexual behavior and attraction, we have less of an excuse to play dumb when it comes to the opposite sex.

Anyone even thinking of getting married would be well advised to become an amateur anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist.


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

If you drive a Porsche everyone will want to take a ride. That's why I drive a Chevy.


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