# Five years past D-day update



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Hello guys and gals,

I'm sure nobody would remember me as I haven't even logged in here in four years. I was confused and lost, also severely mentally unbalanced as I had ceased taking all of the "mental health" medication my ex wife had "helped" me get on throughout our marriage. I shouldn't have gone cold turkey to stop but stopping taking that crap was one of the best moves I've made in my life. And divorcing her was also one of the best moves I've ever made.

I'm not sure how to resurrect a five year old post about my D-day but the ex wife was having an affair with her boss and also sending nudes to guys who were FWBs with her in college. I found out, left her, and filed for divorce. She went the standard get an emergency protective order to have me removed from the home, not necessary as I had left already, but it was necessary if she wanted to keep all of my stuff. Which she did.

Divorce took two years to get finalized, selling our house took another few months, at which point I had "joint" every other weekend plus two extra days a month custody. Getting the divorce finalized was a God send as I was basically homeless for almost two years. After the house was sold she took me back to court to sue for full custody as she wanted to move 2000 miles away supposedly for a job. I was done with court at this point and just didn't care anymore. What more did I have to lose? So I signed over my rights and said goodbye, also here's even more child support for you. See you never again I hope!

Meanwhile I was pouring through every relationship and marriage related book I could lay my hands on. And was receiving some amazing life changing advice from two guys in particular who posted here. MovingAhead and Weightlifter. Thank you very much you two. So I was already into the process of serious and desperately needed self improvement.

During the first year of the divorce I struggled to eat, and was no longer a retarded zombie from seven different "mental health" medications, so I lost seventy pounds and went from a fat guy to a very skinny guy. Since then I've put back on fifty pounds of muscle and frankly I've never looked better in my entire life. Started dating around, only realizing that now I needed to be very discriminating and not just fall in lust with the first girl who put out. So I dated. A lot.

Then I met a girl who was not going to let me go. She was very good looking, considerably better than my ex wife, not as smart, but kinder, and one of the most honest people I've ever met in my life. It took me a long time to realize that she wasn't being deceptive, that she just tells the truth even when it makes her look bad. It also helps that she's over a decade younger than my ex wife. And she was determined to make me hers.

I also had and continue to have options. Due to learning to date by throwing myself into the fire, and because well I'm not a fat dork now but a 6' 2" 190 pound experienced man with a hard body and I can and do pick her up and toss her around like a child. Which she loves.

Anyways I married her at the beginning of this year right after she got pregnant in January. An intentional pregnancy. No fancy wedding this time, only two guests at the courthouse and two rings I got on Amazon for thirty bucks. But hey now she gets my insurance.

So here's where it gets really good. My ex wife found out as she always listens in to my Skype sessions with our son. Guess what she did?

She got a new job back here where I live. She moved back. She told me she would not take me to court again, though I don't trust her or believe anything she says, and that she wanted to negotiate new custody arrangements with me like a normal sane person would. Through negotiation.

But that kids birthday would be a week after she moved back. So she asked me to throw the party at my new house and said that she would like to come. Hmm.. I agreed. The birthday party went great, the kiddo had an amazing time with all his cousins, but partway through the party I felt a hand caress me from the top of my back down to my butt. I turned expecting to see my new wonderful wife, but it was my ex wife. Who turned and walked away quickly. Current awesome wife came over shortly and asked me what that was about, as she was watching. I laughed and said hey I'm irresistible.

In the months since then it's been great seeing my boy every other weekend. His mom has been trying to get me to take more and more custody, every weekend, plus another day during the week, which would land me at 12 over nights a month. But I don't want them and just refuse. I mean I've got a great wife who is six months pregnant and we're planning two more.

What's she going to do take me to court to try to force me to take more custody? I'm already used to paying child support for no custody and just don't care anymore. My life is going great. My career is winning, my body is solid, my routine is set, and my wife is amazing.

I had my son this weekend. We had a blast again. Saturday night I received a bunch of drunk texts from my ex wife. She made a terrible mistake, she says. She wishes we could be together. A few more graphic sexual texts as well. I just ignored them and thought. My God, only a few years ago I would have died to have her back. Now? Even if I was single my dating pool is better looking girls than her who are in their twenties. Not single mothers approaching forty.

Looking back her having an affair was great. It was the breaking point for me to get out of that toxic hell of a marriage and start the long hard journey to becoming a better man.

It can be done. Even for a guy who was a total loser, fairly pathetic, who whined and cried his way through life. I mean I still have my old posts here. You can go see for yourself.

I don't expect to become active on here again. I may hang around a bit but I hardly have time to read and post on a forum. I've meant to come back here and give an update for a long time.

Best wishes to all the guys, and rare gals, who find themselves in that hell of infidelity and divorce. Don't give up on yourself and the life you want to create.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Nice job. You put in the work and received the benefits.


----------



## Goodhealth (Jun 18, 2018)

Glad you are well I hope it doesn’t take me 5years to bounce back. How long until you felt better?


----------



## snerg (Apr 10, 2013)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> But that kids birthday would be a week after she moved back. So she asked me to throw the party at my new house and said that she would like to come. Hmm.. I agreed. The birthday party went great, the kiddo had an amazing time with all his cousins, but partway through the party I felt a hand caress me from the top of my back down to my butt. I turned expecting to see my new wonderful wife, but it was my ex wife. Who turned and walked away quickly. Current awesome wife came over shortly and asked me what that was about, as she was watching. I laughed and said hey I'm irresistible.



You should have stopped that right then and there. There is no reason to be touching you.

You're playing games and your current wife will get hurt



rustytheboyrobot said:


> In the months since then it's been great seeing my boy every other weekend. His mom has been trying to get me to take more and more custody, every weekend, plus another day during the week, which would land me at 12 over nights a month. *But I don't want them and just refuse*. I mean I've got a great wife who is six months pregnant and we're planning two more.


Not sure how you meant this to sound.
But what would your son think if he saw this? You think he would believe you're a great dad?

Any chance she gives you to be with your kid, you should jump at.

He's your kid.
Here's an opportunity for you to form a great bond and show him how to be a man.





rustytheboyrobot said:


> I had my son this weekend. We had a blast again. Saturday night I received a bunch of drunk texts from my ex wife. She made a terrible mistake, she says. She wishes we could be together. A few more graphic sexual texts as well. I just ignored them and thought. My God, only a few years ago I would have died to have her back. Now? Even if I was single my dating pool is better looking girls than her who are in their twenties. Not single mothers approaching forty.


You should tell your wife about this.
She's your partner.
You two need to be a team against her insanity.


----------



## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Great for you. The best revenge to a cheating spouse is a life well lived and you have achieved that. 

May your new marriage always be as great as it is now. Never stop working at it!


----------



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> She made a terrible mistake, she says. She wishes we could be together.


To which you should reply, with a copy to your wife, which says "No....what you did was not a "mistake", although it was indeed terrible. You made a volitional decision, stuffed your fist in the face of your conscience, and radically hurt me, and your own child, out of your damnable selfishness and sin, because your jollies were more important to you than me, your child, our marriage, and our home."

And...."...you go right ahead and "wish" all you want. However, you and I will never, ever be together again. I forgive you for the despicable things you did, however, there will never be any kind of reconciliation between us. I want to have a cordial relationship with you for the sake of our child....but that is the entire extent of any desires I have toward you...."

BTW, good for you, and good riddance of this adulteress. I can clearly see, from the actions you describe, that she hasn't changed.
You have dodged a major-league bullet, and you have kept tears away from your son's face. It is indeed quite unfortunate that your son cannot avoid interface to his mother completely. He would be far better off.


----------



## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

You went through an awful time and came out the other end. Kudos to you for that. But now, you're allowing your ex wife to ruin your life again. With your flippant remark to your current wife about your ex's disrespectful flirtation and accepting her calls and texts, you are setting yourself up for a life of an awful time again. You're even still talking about your dating pool when you are a married man. You don't have a dating pool and shouldn't even be thinking that way. Why are you doing this? You're enjoying her attentions but you should already know she is dynamite. She is deliberately trying to ruin your marriage and your life once again. You are letting her and very much enjoying it. I would have smacked you if you had laughed at what she did and then said "hey I'm irresistible" to me instead of putting her in check like you should have. That would have been your first step toward another divorce, and all the sexy texts and trying to get you back would have landed you in divorce court again.

I hope you will put a stop to this. She has no reason to contact you that is not directly related to your son, so stop enjoying her attention. Don't contact her and don't let her contact you. Block her on your phone, email, and all social media and use My Family Wizard as the one and only medium for communication. I'm not saying you are interested in your ex. I'm saying you are being extremely disrespectful to your wife. In what way and for what reason do you think she deserves this from you? And how do yoou think it is any different from what your ex did to you? Why are you doing this to your current wife now? You talk a good game about being a changed man. Is this the change you've made? Because there's nothing good about it, I hope you know. Just got married in January? I would have filed for divorce already. 

I hope you asked your wife how she felt about your ex attending the party and didn't just invite the ex without consulting your wife first. Gosh I hope you didn't do that, especially not if the party was at your house. The ex manipulated her way in.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Glad things are looking way up for you, I think it will be important to set some hard boundaries with your Ex, to protect the sanctity of what you have with your current wife.

Kind of curious though, why would you not want at least 50% custody of your son in terms of overnights. I would move heaven and earth to see my kids as much as possible, having gone from 11 years of seeing them every day of their lives to now, having to do 50/50 from here on out.


----------



## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

stillfightingforus said:


> Glad things are looking way up for you, I think it will be important to set some hard boundaries with your Ex, to protect the sanctity of what you have with your current wife.
> 
> Kind of curious though, why would you not want at least 50% custody of your son in terms of overnights. I would move heaven and earth to see my kids as much as possible, having gone from 11 years of seeing them every day of their lives to now, having to do 50/50 from here on out.


I was wondering that too. That he signed his rights over and that he made it sound like he doesn't want to be bothered with his kid any more than he absolutely must. He won't like it when the ex starts teaching the kid that he doesn't care about him and traded him for another family. She will have plenty of proof of it for sure. Not to mention he refuses time with his kid but takes all the ex's fliratious texts messages. My goodness.


----------



## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Yeah set some hard boundaries. No phone calls. Text or email and ignore anything not kid related.

Pickups/drop offs should be a 3 minute exchange with zero engagement. Take the wife with you.

Never go into her home or Allie her into yours.

Your wife will not want an X in the mix in any way and you shouldn't either.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Goodhealth said:


> Glad you are well I hope it doesn’t take me 5years to bounce back. How long until you felt better?


It took four years before I'd retain full mental acuity when thinking of my son, was lost and gone afaik.

But I was back into an upward path, fully, after the divorce. And started dating two months after I left her.


----------



## coquille (May 8, 2018)

OP, congratulations on your newly found happiness! Reading your post, however, I see that you have not gotten over your ex yet. I mean, you compare your current wife to your ex in terms of age, physique, intellect, kindness, not as a person of her own, or how you guys relate to each other, what made you fall in love with her, etc. You sound happy that your ex desires you and sends you these sexual drunken texts. I agree that this is certainly a source of satisfaction after these five years, but as snerg has already mentioned, you need to share this info with your wife, and reinforce boundaries with your ex, letting her know explicitly and clearly that you are not interested in any communication with her outside of matters directly related to your child. If she moved back to your town just to get you back, then you need to stop her plan from the get go. Show her that you are a happily married man who has no interest in her. Yes, and I agree with snerg that you need to jump on every occasion to spend time with your son, especially that you are expecting more with your wife, and you don't want him to feel unloved or abandoned and develop issues growing up. 


Very best wishes!


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

snerg said:


> You should have stopped that right then and there. There is no reason to be touching you.
> 
> You're playing games and your current wife will get hurt
> 
> ...


I tell my wife everything. Nothing wrong with being a man in demand. My wife enjoys knowing that other women want me, but she's the one who gets to have me.

Anyway no I don't jump to spend time with that kiddo. I have an entire life of my own, and a new family brewing who will get most of my dad time. He'll get fun visiting guy time. At this point I'm assuming in five or so years I'll end up with full custody of a son with serious issues. I divorced her when he was barely one year old so our chance to truly bond is long gone, but I do let him know I love him. And I'll do my best to show him what a healthy marriage with a strong husband looks like.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

TJW said:


> To which you should reply, with a copy to your wife, which says "No....what you did was not a "mistake", although it was indeed terrible. You made a volitional decision, stuffed your fist in the face of your conscience, and radically hurt me, and your own child, out of your damnable selfishness and sin, because your jollies were more important to you than me, your child, our marriage, and our home."
> 
> And...."...you go right ahead and "wish" all you want. However, you and I will never, ever be together again. I forgive you for the despicable things you did, however, there will never be any kind of reconciliation between us. I want to have a cordial relationship with you for the sake of our child....but that is the entire extent of any desires I have toward you...."
> 
> ...


She doesn't warrant a response from me. I dodged the bullet but I created a new life who can't dodge the bullet. And I can't change that. I have suffered inside knowing what I did to him, but I can't change it. I'm preparing at times for the day when he wants to move in with me, knowing that he will lack any true bonding ability due to being raised by daycare during his most precious time. I blame myself. I hope I can somehow make it up to him over the rest of my life.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> snerg said:
> 
> 
> > You should have stopped that right then and there. There is no reason to be touching you.
> ...


With all due respect. Are you serious about what you just posted about your son? It's almost as if you wrapped him up into a package deal with your ex that you would just rather not be troubled too much by .... A life of your own, bonding time long gone?


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> TJW said:
> 
> 
> > To which you should reply, with a copy to your wife, which says "No....what you did was not a "mistake", although it was indeed terrible. You made a volitional decision, stuffed your fist in the face of your conscience, and radically hurt me, and your own child, out of your damnable selfishness and sin, because your jollies were more important to you than me, your child, our marriage, and our home."
> ...


Ok, this sounds a lot better but don't wait. Start your plans on making it up to him now. It will only get harder as time goes on.


----------



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I divorced her when he was barely one year old so our chance to truly bond is long gone


No, that is a delusion. And, one that if believed, will damage your son. The "serious issues" perpetrated upon him by his mother are not ones you can change. Don't let this falsehood create more issues.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

StarFires said:


> You went through an awful time and came out the other end. Kudos to you for that. But now, you're allowing your ex wife to ruin your life again. With your flippant remark to your current wife about your ex's disrespectful flirtation and accepting her calls and texts, you are setting yourself up for a life of an awful time again. You're even still talking about your dating pool when you are a married man. You don't have a dating pool and shouldn't even be thinking that way. Why are you doing this? You're enjoying her attentions but you should already know she is dynamite. She is deliberately trying to ruin your marriage and your life once again. You are letting her and very much enjoying it. I would have smacked you if you had laughed at what she did and then said "hey I'm irresistible" to me instead of putting her in check like you should have. That would have been your first step toward another divorce, and all the sexy texts and trying to get you back would have landed you in divorce court again.
> 
> I hope you will put a stop to this. She has no reason to contact you that is not directly related to your son, so stop enjoying her attention. Don't contact her and don't let her contact you. Block her on your phone, email, and all social media and use My Family Wizard as the one and only medium for communication. I'm not saying you are interested in your ex. I'm saying you are being extremely disrespectful to your wife. In what way and for what reason do you think she deserves this from you? And how do yoou think it is any different from what your ex did to you? Why are you doing this to your current wife now? You talk a good game about being a changed man. Is this the change you've made? Because there's nothing good about it, I hope you know. Just got married in January? I would have filed for divorce already.
> 
> I hope you asked your wife how she felt about your ex attending the party and didn't just invite the ex without consulting your wife first. Gosh I hope you didn't do that, especially not if the party was at your house. The ex manipulated her way in.


I consult with my wife about everything, and then I make a decision. Sometimes it's the decision she councils, sometimes it isn't, but it's my decision and my responsibility.

Also I still do have a dating pool, it's just not being utilized. I still flirt and enjoy it, and I then tell my wife about it. I did the opposite of this with my now ex wife. My current wife very much enjoys knowing that other women want me, but she has me, for now. So long as she behaves herself 😉. She knows I'm writing this post as well and at some point I'm sure I'll show it to her.

How can a sweet girl know that she's winning, if she doesn't know that other women want her man?


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

TJW said:


> No, that is a delusion. And, one that if believed, will damage your son. The "serious issues" perpetrated upon him by his mother are not ones you can change. Don't let this falsehood create more issues.


I'm the one who chose his mother, who had a child with her as well. It's not like she somehow changed and the red flags were there the entire time. From everything I've read and understand he is going to have severe bonding problems as he ages into a teenager and beyond and may well do exactly what I did. Thirst for a girl and fall head over heels for trash just because she "likes" him. I've discussed all of this with my wife as well, and will indeed do my best to show him a good marriage, and guide him as he grows.

But I suffer no delusions that he will have an easy life free from "mental illness", with his childhood, his mother, and having had who I was as a father for his most precious years.


----------



## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Hello guys and gals,
> 
> I'm sure nobody would remember me as I haven't even logged in here in four years. I was confused and lost, also severely mentally unbalanced as I had ceased taking all of the "mental health" medication my ex wife had "helped" me get on throughout our marriage. I shouldn't have gone cold turkey to stop but stopping taking that crap was one of the best moves I've made in my life. And divorcing her was also one of the best moves I've ever made.
> 
> ...


Wait until she accuses you or rape or child abuse or something. You are very unwise to have anything to do with your ex wife, I mean what does she have to do kill you before you get the idea that she is not stable and dangerous. Your ex is a snake, keep recorder on you at all times and never be around her or your son without your current wife present.


----------



## StarFires (Feb 27, 2018)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I consult with my wife about everything, and then I make a decision. Sometimes it's the decision she councils, sometimes it isn't, but it's my decision and my responsibility.
> 
> Also I still do have a dating pool, it's just not being utilized. I still flirt and enjoy it, and I then tell my wife about it. I did the opposite of this with my now ex wife. My current wife very much enjoys knowing that other women want me, but she has me, for now. So long as she behaves herself 😉. She knows I'm writing this post as well and at some point I'm sure I'll show it to her.
> 
> How can a sweet girl know that she's winning, if she doesn't know that other women want her man?[/quote


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

stillfightingforus said:


> Glad things are looking way up for you, I think it will be important to set some hard boundaries with your Ex, to protect the sanctity of what you have with your current wife.
> 
> Kind of curious though, why would you not want at least 50% custody of your son in terms of overnights. I would move heaven and earth to see my kids as much as possible, having gone from 11 years of seeing them every day of their lives to now, having to do 50/50 from here on out.


Eleven years of family only to have it end? My god divorce is a terror. I have my thoughts on this and how to not end up divorced, but they fly in the face of mainstream advice. I'll see how my plan goes. My empathy goes out to you. If our situations were the same I could see why you would desire even more.

But I divorced my ex wife when my child was barely one, I then barely saw him as he was raised by daycare. And yes, I did DNA test him. A hell to go through but one many men know. He's mine.

Right now? She's playing games with the custody negotiations, trying a power play. I see it and discuss it with my wife. I do have a plan. But that child must continue to suffer for my failings, my horrible mistakes. I can't change that. And she's not an abusive mother. She's nuts sure, and cold, and he's her replacement husband in a lot of ways. And all of this will happen. It has happened.

Let us see how things come, one day at a time. I have no doubt I'll end up with full custody. When she can't handle him anymore, and he just wants to rebel against the world for all of his suffering. Suffering that is my fault.

Sucks what I did to an innocent child by marrying her and following along, like a good little robot, just because she was willing to spread her legs for the loser I was.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

sokillme said:


> Wait until she accuses you or rape or child abuse or something. You are very unwise to have anything to do with your ex wife, I mean what does she have to do kill you before you get the idea that she is not stable and dangerous. Your ex is a snake, keep recorder on you at all times and never be around her or your son without your current wife present.


Already doing this. And if we end up in court for some reason? Well just look what she sent me only a few days ago?


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

stillfightingforus said:


> With all due respect. Are you serious about what you just posted about your son? It's almost as if you wrapped him up into a package deal with your ex that you would just rather not be troubled too much by .... A life of your own, bonding time long gone?


Yes. It's true though. Denial and lying to myself will not change what I have created for him. He's already angry at me at 6 years old. Well deserved anger. I wish I could change it. But I can't.

And I can't allow myself to fall for her power play of custody negotiations.

He has suffered, incredibly, continues to suffer, and will suffer even more. As I watch.

How unfair.

But this is the reality of it. And no wishing will change that.

Best to accept the whole reality, as painful as it is, and to know that one day my first son will come to me with such anger and.. yes even hate. I will deserve it as well.

But I can't change it.


----------



## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Yes. It's true though. Denial and lying to myself will not change what I have created for him. He's already angry at me at 6 years old. Well deserved anger. I wish I could change it. But I can't.
> 
> And I can't allow myself to fall for her power play of custody negotiations.
> 
> ...


Yes you can. You just dont want to. While your infidelity story has merit, your decision to continue the abandonment is disgusting. He is now near you. You could be his refuge, the safety net. A reason NOT to build anger, but you are choosing the easy way out.

Yourself flagellation is pathetic. And your backtracking is weak. You are his father. The past is on her, but he is only 6. What she did to you, pales in comparison to what you are doing to your son.

Happy belated fathers day. 

Don't need your likes.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

TheBohannons said:


> rustytheboyrobot said:
> 
> 
> > Yes. It's true though. Denial and lying to myself will not change what I have created for him. He's already angry at me at 6 years old. Well deserved anger. I wish I could change it. But I can't.
> ...


Taking more overnights with his son may take away from time he needs to cultivate his dating pool though ....


----------



## Townes (Jan 31, 2018)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I tell my wife everything. Nothing wrong with being a man in demand. My wife enjoys knowing that other women want me, but she's the one who gets to have me.
> 
> Anyway no I don't jump to spend time with that kiddo. I have an entire life of my own, and a new family brewing who will get most of my dad time. He'll get fun visiting guy time. At this point I'm assuming in five or so years I'll end up with full custody of a son with serious issues. I divorced her when he was barely one year old so our chance to truly bond is long gone, but I do let him know I love him. And I'll do my best to show him what a healthy marriage with a strong husband looks like.


I know you don't mean it that way, but this has to be one of the most heartless things I've ever read. Honestly makes me want to cry for your son. And not because of the situation he's in but because of you. Imagine if he was to read that. Poor, poor kid.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

TheBohannons said:


> Yes you can. You just dont want to. While your infidelity story has merit, your decision to continue the abandonment is disgusting. He is now near you. You could be his refuge, the safety net. A reason NOT to build anger, but you are choosing the easy way out.
> 
> Yourself flagellation is pathetic. And your backtracking is weak. You are his father. The past is on her, but he is only 6. What she did to you, pales in comparison to what you are doing to your son.
> 
> ...


The choices we all make.

And yes indeed. I am making those choices.

Hard hard choices indeed.

But do indeed heap more blame onto me. I can take it.

Then go right back to the real world. Sorry my boy, I'll not fall back into that. Sorry I chose your mother, wrong.

There's no good choice outside of your solipsism, a fancy word for a simple term.

Tl;Dr it's too late


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Townes said:


> I know you don't mean it that way, but this has to be one of the most heartless things I've ever read. Honestly makes me want to cry for your son. And not because of the situation he's in but because of you. Imagine if he was to read that. Poor, poor kid.


My son died in my head many years ago. And I almost killed myself while no one was there.

But hey, you are here now to moralize at me. Please do tell me how much you care. Now.

Meanwhile I deal in reality and this is a sick place where I do my best with a bum hand. Oh don't worry. I'm so sure you'd do better. So let's just get that out of the way right now.

Go ahead. Moralize at the end.

This is just another way to lie to yourself. The greatest weakness.


----------



## Townes (Jan 31, 2018)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> My son died in my head many years ago. And I almost killed myself while no one was there.
> 
> But hey, you are here now to moralize at me. Please do tell me how much you care. Now.
> 
> ...


How about you resurrect him in your head then and be a real father?


----------



## Etomidate (Mar 10, 2018)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I tell my wife everything. Nothing wrong with being a man in demand. My wife enjoys knowing that other women want me, but she's the one who gets to have me.
> 
> Anyway no I don't jump to spend time with that kiddo. I have an entire life of my own, and a new family brewing who will get most of my dad time. He'll get fun visiting guy time. At this point I'm assuming in five or so years I'll end up with full custody of a son with serious issues. I divorced her when he was barely one year old so our chance to truly bond is long gone, but I do let him know I love him. And I'll do my best to show him what a healthy marriage with a strong husband looks like.


Although what your ex did to you was horrible, you deserve very little respect after reading this. As a father, I’m dumbfounded by your actions as a father. I really hope your current wife is paying attention to how you treat your son becuase you’re likely to treat any other children the same way (remember, current and past behavior is a good predictor or future behavior). 

You claim not to be a fat loser anymore, but you’re still a loser. The way you talk about and treat your son is the way a loser would. You say you maintain a dating pool, but don’t use it? That’s something a loser would do. The fact that you tell your wife that you have a dating pool screams loser. The way you talk about your current wife (she’s not very smart) is the way a loser would speak of his wife. You’re like the obese chick who lost weight and suddenly thinks you can get anyone of the opposite sex you want. Most people can, and will, see right through you. I guess it’s a good thing you don’t want to see your son more often, you’re a terrible role model of what father/man should be. You’re a very weak “man”.


----------



## katies (May 19, 2015)

Wow you sound like a peach of a dad. Considering how you feel about this kid I'm really wondering why your current baby mama did not see red flags.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

What's really sad is that the rise in persona is built on a foundation of playing cards. If the weight comes back and God Forbid, he loses this wife and his dating pool, the effects and damage would be 10 fold of what he had to deal with earlier.

OP, you bought into something that has taken you on the wrong path that on the surfaces feels right and it's painful to see. 

You are using things you have read to already pre-determine the future of your son and use them as excuses for yourself on why not to try. I think there's a deeper issue there on why. We are NOT hammering on you in this thread for fun, we want you to be successful as a human, as a husband but more importantly as a Dad because of the person that needs you most now.

Get yourself some counseling and put down the self help books that made you feel like an expert on this stuff. The good thing now, is that you feel good about yourself so you can rebuild the foundation without tearing your life apart and then the happiness you desire in life will be sustainable. 

- forget what you think might happen, at least try to make it right with your son
- ditch the pool, unless your goal is to become better at your ex-wife at what she was good at


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

I find his brutal honesty refreshing. I may not agree with it 100%, but I recognize it comes from a place of deep introspection.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I tell my wife everything. Nothing wrong with being a man in demand. My wife enjoys knowing that other women want me, but she's the one who gets to have me.
> 
> Anyway no I don't jump to spend time with that kiddo. I have an entire life of my own, and a new family brewing who will get most of my dad time. *He'll get fun visiting guy time. At this point I'm assuming in five or so years I'll end up with full custody of a son with serious issues.* I divorced her when he was barely one year old so our chance to truly bond is long gone, but I do let him know I love him. And I'll do my best to show him what a healthy marriage with a strong husband looks like.


Well...why don't you ask for full custody now and raise him like he should be raised so that he doesn't end up with issues? 

I don't get your thinking here. You don't think you are responsible for this boy? You sired him, brought him into this world, lost him to his mother and now you have a chance to get him back... but now you don't want him because you have a replacement child coming. 

Poor kid. I feel bad for him.


----------



## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Thanks for the update. Glad you're doing well, and to hell with your ex! :grin2:


----------



## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Anyway no I don't jump to spend time with that kiddo. I have an entire life of my own, and a new family brewing who will get most of my dad time. He'll get fun visiting guy time. At this point I'm assuming in five or so years I'll end up with full custody of a son with serious issues. I divorced her when he was barely one year old so our chance to truly bond is long gone, but I do let him know I love him. And I'll do my best to show him what a healthy marriage with a strong husband looks like.


Great to hear you progress from the pits of negative feelings to the heights of health and happiness.

I still cant get over your lack of interestin in your son. He didnt have an affair. Sure he came from that cheater but he is your son. Dont you want to raise him and prepare him for the world? Do you really want your cheating wife to be his sole life teacher?

He is not a package deal with your wife and you dont get to hit the reset button with your new child while leaving your old one to fend for himself in the world.

There is only two people in the world that truly care about someone.. and thats their parents. Poor kid seems to have lost his dad EVEN though his dad is now at the perfect stage to help teach (show him physical and mental strength, show him what boundaries are and how someone should be treated)


----------



## Townes (Jan 31, 2018)

OnTheFly said:


> I find his brutal honesty refreshing. I may not agree with it 100%, but I recognize it comes from a place of deep introspection.


That's a limitation of introspection. You can convince yourself of all kinds of untrue things. He needs to listen to some voices outside of his head too.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

Townes said:


> That's a limitation of introspection. You can *convince yourself* of all kinds of untrue things. He needs to listen to some voices outside of his head too.


This is what happened I believe. I think he read some books or some sort of therapy that put these thoughts inside his head and somehow it meshed with another part of his brain relieving him of a certain duty with justification of these new thoughts .... in a way to escape the pain.

Problem is, it's a choice when you are dealing with Spouses on whether you try to stay or not, I have learned that ... learned there's only so much you can do because 2 adults should be informed enough to make their own decisions and have to live with them.

When it comes to children however, they are innocent in all of this. No matter what you think or believe is going to happen, you have to put everything into trying to help because they are kids for God's sake, they cannot and should not be responsible for any of this.


----------



## Townes (Jan 31, 2018)

stillfightingforus said:


> This is what happened I believe. I think he read some books or some sort of therapy that put these thoughts inside his head and somehow it meshed with another part of his brain relieving him of a certain duty with justification of these new thoughts .... in a way to escape the pain.
> 
> Problem is, it's a choice when you are dealing with Spouses on whether you try to stay or not, I have learned that ... learned there's only so much you can do because 2 adults should be informed enough to make their own decisions and have to live with them.
> 
> When it comes to children however, they are innocent in all of this. No matter what you think or believe is going to happen, you have to put everything into trying to help because they are kids for God's sake, they cannot and should not be responsible for any of this.


Yeah, I totally agree with all that. I'm going to choose to believe this won't be the typical pointless thread where the OP is just looking for confirmation. I'm going to believe that he'll take this stuff to heart and do right by his son.


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

stillfightingforus said:


> With all due respect. Are you serious about what you just posted about your son? It's almost as if you wrapped him up into a package deal with your ex that you would just rather not be troubled too much by .... A life of your own, bonding time long gone?


This is what I was thinking too, and feel very badly for the son.



rustytheboyrobot said:


> Anyway no I don't jump to spend time with that kiddo. I have an entire life of my own, and a new family brewing who will get most of my dad time. He'll get fun visiting guy time. *At this point I'm assuming in five or so years I'll end up with full custody of a son with serious issues.* I divorced her when he was barely one year old so our chance to truly bond is long gone, but I do let him know I love him. And I'll do my best to show him what a healthy marriage with a strong husband looks like.


Yeah, if I had a parent who really didn't want anything to do with me, I would be pretty messed up too. Even though you have a brand spanking new child on the way, doesn't mean that your first child should be old news. He's still your son.


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Yes. It's true though. Denial and lying to myself will not change what I have created for him. He's already angry at me at 6 years old. Well deserved anger. I wish I could change it. But I can't.
> 
> And I can't allow myself to fall for her power play of custody negotiations.
> 
> ...


No, you can't change the past, but you can change things around going forward for your son. You can choose to take those 12 overnights with him at your home; you can choose to welcome him into your new life with open arms; you can choose to be there for him, and encourage the development of a Father-son relationship. There are many things that you can choose to do, if you wish to, but you have to want to foster that relationship and you have to have the desire to try to instill healthy habits and a healthy way of life on your son. You say his Mom is a little mentally unstable; why don't you step up to the plate and be that source of stability for your little guy? Personally, I'm not lucky enough to call myself a Mom (I could only wish), but I could guess that this will do your son the world of good, and he will thank you in years to come.


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

TheBohannons said:


> Yes you can. You just dont want to. While your infidelity story has merit, your decision to continue the abandonment is disgusting. He is now near you. You could be his refuge, the safety net. A reason NOT to build anger, but you are choosing the easy way out.
> 
> Yourself flagellation is pathetic. And your backtracking is weak. You are his father. The past is on her, but he is only 6. What she did to you, pales in comparison to what you are doing to your son.
> 
> ...


I wish there was a "mega-like" feature that we could choose for posts. This one above would get it from me. Oh wait.....

:allhail:


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

Etomidate said:


> Although what your ex did to you was horrible, you deserve very little respect after reading this. As a father, I’m dumbfounded by your actions as a father. I really hope your current wife is paying attention to how you treat your son becuase you’re likely to treat any other children the same way (remember, current and past behavior is a good predictor or future behavior).
> 
> You claim not to be a fat loser anymore, but you’re still a loser. The way you talk about and treat your son is the way a loser would. You say you maintain a dating pool, but don’t use it? That’s something a loser would do. The fact that you tell your wife that you have a dating pool screams loser. The way you talk about your current wife (she’s not very smart) is the way a loser would speak of his wife. You’re like the obese chick who lost weight and suddenly thinks you can get anyone of the opposite sex you want. Most people can, and will, see right through you. I guess it’s a good thing you don’t want to see your son more often, you’re a terrible role model of what father/man should be. You’re a very weak “man”.


Again with the mega-likes! 

:allhail:


----------



## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

It's hard to understand how you could detach from your son like that. Many people would still have an emotional attachment after all this time. In addition, it's unusual how easily you let him go the first time. To me, that suggests that whatever part of our brain that creates that irrational attachment to our children isn't the same in you as it is in most people. With that in mind, I wonder if his mom is a better place for him. She likely does have that irrational love where she would walk through fire for him. If he lived with you, would he get that same kind of love? Do you think you'll have that center-of-the-universe kind of love for your new son? Or will he be more of a little buddy that's fun to hang around with? 

This is a serious question you need to consider. Kids are not all hugs and rainbows. Kids will also be the most awful, pain-in-the-asses, self-centered, jerks at times. It's that irrational love a parent has that carries them through the tough times. If a kid is just someone you hang around with for fun times, you may struggle when things get rough. 

Maybe it's just because you didn't have that bonding time, but usually the 1 year you had should have done it. It's hard to tell what will happen in the future, but just keep this in mind.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

thummper said:


> Thanks for the update. Glad you're doing well, and to hell with your ex! :grin2:


I do remember you! Thank you for the good wishes. My how life changes.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

Ursula said:


> No, you can't change the past, but you can change things around going forward for your son. You can choose to take those 12 overnights with him at your home; you can choose to welcome him into your new life with open arms; you can choose to be there for him, and encourage the development of a Father-son relationship. There are many things that you can choose to do, if you wish to, but you have to want to foster that relationship and you have to have the desire to try to instill healthy habits and a healthy way of life on your son. You say his Mom is a little mentally unstable; why don't you step up to the plate and be that source of stability for your little guy? Personally, I'm not lucky enough to call myself a Mom (I could only wish), but I could guess that this will do your son the world of good, and he will thank you in years to come.


I could. But I choose not to.

I am enjoying reading these comments, however. And will read them all again. And then decide how my life will be.

As far as these comments go? Well I could go write an essay about them, but why bother? The essays exist already. Those who will find them will. Those who will not will not understand or empathize with me writing them again.

The cries of the crowd demanding I follow feminism but somehow get the results of tradition are known fools, and I see no reason to entertain them. Feminism for she, but not for me? No. I don't think so.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

wilson said:


> It's hard to understand how you could detach from your son like that. Many people would still have an emotional attachment after all this time. In addition, it's unusual how easily you let him go the first time. To me, that suggests that whatever part of our brain that creates that irrational attachment to our children isn't the same in you as it is in most people. With that in mind, I wonder if his mom is a better place for him. She likely does have that irrational love where she would walk through fire for him. If he lived with you, would he get that same kind of love? Do you think you'll have that center-of-the-universe kind of love for your new son? Or will he be more of a little buddy that's fun to hang around with?
> 
> This is a serious question you need to consider. Kids are not all hugs and rainbows. Kids will also be the most awful, pain-in-the-asses, self-centered, jerks at times. It's that irrational love a parent has that carries them through the tough times. If a kid is just someone you hang around with for fun times, you may struggle when things get rough.
> 
> Maybe it's just because you didn't have that bonding time, but usually the 1 year you had should have done it. It's hard to tell what will happen in the future, but just keep this in mind.


This is a mind blowing nieve comment, and incredibly insulting as well. Lacks even a hint of empathy for the incredible hell I have suffered, and my son has suffered, for some ridiculous fairy tale world.

Lots of really great winner men in here lecturing me from their high horse. Where were they when I was drowning in **** dying in the gutter? Lots of men who are so much better than me, in the fairy tale world.

Good luck with all that.


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I don’t give a crap if you were Kim Jong Un’s rent boy for five years. You have a responsibility to save your son from the poor life his mom has made for him.


----------



## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Is this for real?


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

3putt said:


> Is this for real?


I was starting to get a troll vibe a few posts into this but the Vets probably remember this guy.

Ironic he is talking about his Hell when the advice he is getting, is coming from the people that were in the same Hell, if not worse.


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> I don’t give a crap if you were Kim Jong Un’s rent boy for five years. You have a responsibility to save your son from the poor life his mom has made for him.


Do you honestly think the child would be better off with his father? I don't.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> I don’t give a crap if you were Kim Jong Un’s rent boy for five years. You have a responsibility to save your son from the poor life his mom has made for him.


With power comes responsibility.

With no power? I hear your clucks, demanding I somehow, some way, make feminism work. Cluck.

I see you have the mob behind you. We are legion, after all. And here I stand.

With proof.

Cluck away with the mob of fools. Making demand after demand and burning anyone who doesn't magically meet your demands. I'd tell you all that you are insane, but you'll not understand, and I'm too busy winning to listen to your mob roar "fix it".

And here I will stay. Watching your legion, knowing, what fools you are.

But if it makes you feel better, cause that has so much to do with the reality you destroy, while you demand the results you want after you've burned them to the ground. Go ahead. Go be you.

I'll go be me.

Not a demon.

Hilarious.


----------



## rustytheboyrobot (Nov 20, 2013)

TheBohannons said:


> REDCATED /quote]
> 
> I admire your dreams son.
> 
> ...


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

It's gonna suck when your younger wife leaves you, and you get fat again.

Gonna suck even more when your son grows up and decides to find you. 

Then again, maybe he won't care. My sperm donor wrote me off when my mother divorced his abusive ass. Honestly, I could care less. I'm just counting down the days till his death. Then, I will claim what is rightfully mine.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

At first I thought this persona was derived from reading too many new age psych books but now I'm starting to think over consumption of some sort of narcotic ....


----------



## TheBohannons (Apr 6, 2018)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I admire your dreams son.
> 
> But, alas, if you had bothered to actually read. Somehow he is mine. She was ****ing another dude as well, right then.


If you had bothered to read, you would know i was not talking about the 6 year old. Your 15 years younger wife may have had a stable of her own. Since you can have one, why not her?.

Perhaps it is best if you come back in 5 years with another tale of woe.


----------



## Edmund (Apr 1, 2017)

Summary of this thread?
I am channeling Sun C Mars.

Well it reads like a MAP Field Report.
The Rusty Robot was treated like **** by his XW.
She cheated on him many times.
She knew he was too meek to object.
It broke him.
He divorced her, but
He gave up his child.
He became bitter.

Then one day he discovered and swallowed the Red Pill.
He developed and adopted a Mindful Attraction Plan.
He improved his physical self with exercise, dietary changes, new clothes.
He ejected the beta "nice guy" personality traits because the hottest chicks want only alphas.
He used his newly acquired PUA to land a new wife...
younger, better in many respects, but fortunately not smart... the smart ones control their husbands.

He says he loves this new wife but,
He is up to Dread Level 7 with her already, that is...
he makes sure to remind her that he has "options" (in his dating pool) so that
she will know how lucky she is to "have him" (until she doesn't).
He is not spinning plates... yet

He has gotten her pregnant...
That along with barefoot should keep her from doing feminist things...
such as acting large and in charge like a man.
No pedestal for her.
She follows where he leads.

He consults his current wife in everything because
she is his First Officer, but
He is the Captain, and that is why, after consulting her
He alone makes the decision.
Honey do you think I should leave, divorce you and
Go My Own Way? Not like Fleetwood Mac.

Then his XW reappears. She realizes he's become a self-absorbed jerk... an alpha...
just the kind of man she is attracted to. She wants him back.
He toys with her... amused mastery... sweet revenge!

So now he comes back to TAM, to
evangilize the writings of the Manosphere
Tomossi, Kay, Glover, Pook!
If they are not Right
then Why is he winning? (Charlie Sheen / Donald Trump: "Winning!")

But below his Teflon skin
the scars of a more innocent trusting man
his soul... is it dead?
Time for bed. zzzzzz......


----------



## FarAwayFuture (Apr 28, 2018)

Wow! What a sad "update" and you write it as if it's something to be satisfied with or content over. Something accomplished. A check off the list.

He is your child!!!! I can not even fathom your way of thinking.

What a sad, pathetic "man" you are. I feel for your current wife and the child she carries. Shame on you.


----------



## Mommame2 (Oct 8, 2017)

stillfightingforus said:


> At first I thought this persona was derived from reading too many new age psych books but now I'm starting to think over consumption of some sort of narcotic ....




Bath salts. They're bad. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

The wimminz and white knights are out in full force…..''conform, or be cast out'', as Getty Lee used to warble.


----------



## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Then why am I winning?


You aren't "winning"... you're in a "rebound".... come back in 5 more years...and tell us you're "winning"....


----------



## AKA Broken Arrow (Feb 19, 2016)

Edmund said:


> He has gotten her pregnant...
> That along with barefoot should keep her from doing feminist things...


Gold Jerry, gold!


----------



## wilson (Nov 5, 2012)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> Lots of really great winner men in here lecturing me from their high horse. Where were they when I was drowning in **** dying in the gutter? Lots of men who are so much better than me, in the fairy tale world.


We were all here waiting to help. I truly wish you had reached out to us. If you know anything about this board, you know we are overly enthusiastic advice givers. Obviously we don't know you in real life, but I know we would have helped you in any way we could have. I'm truly sorry for what you went through and that you felt so alone during that time. If you ever feel like you don't have the support you need, you can always count on us.


----------



## Etomidate (Mar 10, 2018)

OnTheFly said:


> The wimminz and white knights are out in full force…..''conform, or be cast out'', as Getty Lee used to warble.


Who damaged you?


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Etomidate said:


> Who damaged you?


You are the one calling the OP a piece of ****!


----------



## Etomidate (Mar 10, 2018)

OnTheFly said:


> You are the one calling the OP a piece of ****!


That is correct,I also called him a loser, because that’s what he is. Have you not read how he talks about his son? Did you miss the part about him insulting his wife (she’s ot very smart)? Or how about the part where he maintains a dating pool and makes sure his wife knows it? Do I need to go on? Or do you get the point? Or are you so damaged that you don’t get the point?

Again, who damaged you, kiddo?


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Etomidate said:


> That is correct,I also called him a loser, because that’s what he is. Have you not read how he talks about his son? Did you miss the part about him insulting his wife (she’s ot very smart)? Or how about the part where he maintains a dating pool and makes sure his wife knows it? Do I need to go on? Or do you get the point? Or are you so damaged that you don’t get the point?
> 
> Again, who damaged you, kiddo?


lol, you can't ''etomidate'' me!


----------



## MyRevelation (Apr 12, 2016)

Rusty,

I can kind of relate. If I'm being completely honest, there was a time when I wasn't a very good father ... mainly because I didn't want to be a father at 19. 

In my case a combination of marrying someone only because she was pregnant and the resulting responsibility that came with it when I wasn't nearly mature enough to handle it in a healthy manner caused me to largely check out of fatherhood, and it took me into my early 30's for me to get my head and ass wired together. Strangely enough, around this same time, both kids came to live with me when they were old enough to make that decision for themselves, although that likely said more about how bad of a mother XW was, than how I'd grown as a father. It wasn't easy and I made more mistakes along the way, but both kids are now fully functioning adults in stable M's, with two kids each of their own, so what started off in dysfunction, has now settled into a "normal" functioning very close family unit.

We've all made mistakes (otherwise we'd never have found a place like this), and some are much worse than others, but it sounds like you've stepped back, taken stock and addressed some issues that needed addressing. You'll likely make more mistakes going forward, but learn from them and try not to make the same mistakes over again.

Also, when it comes to anonymous internet advice ... take what you can use and disregard the rest. As long as you can take an honest look in the mirror and be at peace with your reflection, then you're on the right path for YOU.


----------



## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

MyRevelation said:


> Rusty,
> 
> I can kind of relate. If I'm being completely honest, there was a time when I wasn't a very good father ... mainly because I didn't want to be a father at 19.
> 
> ...


I like this sentiment a lot, glad you could offer a perspective on where you were coming from. I think the genuine issue however is the last statement you made, at least it's where I differ on opinion. Once you create a life it's no longer about (only) YOU, it's about the life that was brought into this world and what you can do to take care of it. I hope he becomes truly happy with himself but he's got a responsibility to his son, to do everything and anything he can do to turn the tide.


----------



## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> The choices we all make.
> 
> Sorry I chose your mother, wrong.
> 
> Tl;Dr it's too late


Please OP do not ever voice this statement to your son. You are sorry you chose to get married to her because she cheated on you. Your regretting your choice you made by getting married and being betrayed by her has nothing to do with your son. By the way no one would get married if they knew they would be cheated on but that is neither here nor there. If he hears this; he might interpret it as "I am sorry you are here because I chose your mother and had a kid with her so I'm sorry we ever had you." Damage beyond belief. Yes I read you feel she is and has damaged him already but step the **** up and help your son by showing him you are a better man and will not abandon him!


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Moderator Message*

Please dial back the hostility, folks.

If you really dislike the OPs' thread, or posts, put him on ignore.


----------



## MyRevelation (Apr 12, 2016)

stillfightingforus said:


> I like this sentiment a lot, glad you could offer a perspective on where you were coming from. I think the genuine issue however is the last statement you made, at least it's where I differ on opinion. Once you create a life it's no longer about (only) YOU, it's about the life that was brought into this world and what you can do to take care of it. I hope he becomes truly happy with himself but he's got a responsibility to his son, to do everything and anything he can do to turn the tide.


... and it appears to me OP is doing just that. It may not be on the timeline you think it should be, but for some perspective, I seem to recall from your thread that you've taken quite a bit of heat for not taking the advised actions quickly enough.

I get it ... different posters have different biases, and the "all about the kids" bias is a strong one, and IMHO usually leads to less than optimum outcomes.

I didn't walk the last several years in Rusty's shoes, so I'm not going to tell him how bad his feet hurt, but I have walked years with hurting feet in my own bad situation, so I'm inclined to cut the guy some slack while he gets his head and ass properly wired, like I had to 25 years ago.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

OnTheFly said:


> The wimminz and white knights are out in full force…..''conform, or be cast out'', as Getty Lee used to warble.


It's Geddy Lee.


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

pidge70 said:


> Do you honestly think the child would be better off with his father? I don't.


At first, I thought so, yes, but now I think that said child is far better off with his Mom. I don't know the backstory on this, as I just joined the site in late 2016, but from what I read on this thread, the Mom sounds far more stable.


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

rustytheboyrobot said:


> I could. But I choose not to.
> 
> I am enjoying reading these comments, however. And will read them all again. And then decide how my life will be.
> 
> ...


Well then, there's not much more to say then is there. Sounds like you've made up your mind to not give 2 hoots about your first child, and you're very right in that he'll grow up to be mentally unstable because of this. A child's strongest role model is their same-sex parent. I know so many people who would love to be parents, and who would be fantastic parents, myself included among those. It always amazes me how some people can pop them out left, right and centre, but they really have no business being parents at all. No, I'm not a feminist, I simply feel very sorry for your son.


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

pidge70 said:


> It's gonna suck when your younger wife leaves you, and you get fat again.
> 
> Gonna suck even more when your son grows up and decides to find you.
> 
> Then again, maybe he won't care. My sperm donor wrote me off when my mother divorced his abusive ass. Honestly, I could care less. I'm just counting down the days till his death. Then, I will claim what is rightfully mine.


Hey, just want to say that I'm sorry for your pain. If I could give you a hug, I would.


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Ursula said:


> Hey, just want to say that I'm sorry for your pain. If I could give you a hug, I would.


It doesn't hurt anymore. He's the loser, not me. He lost a daughter and 4 grandkids. 

I appreciate the hug offer though. 😊


----------



## Ursula (Dec 2, 2016)

pidge70 said:


> It doesn't hurt anymore. He's the loser, not me. He lost a daughter and 4 grandkids.
> 
> I appreciate the hug offer though. 😊


That's a helluva lot to lose!


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

pidge70 said:


> Do you honestly think the child would be better off with his father? I don't.


I'm thinking no. But I had to try.


----------



## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

samyeagar said:


> It's Geddy Lee.


You sure?

Never liked them anyway.


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

OnTheFly said:


> You sure?
> 
> Never liked them anyway.


I am, and while Geddy sang the lyrics, Neil Peart wrote them. That said, I will choose free will.


----------

