# No sex at all but she is the best



## Hangin in there (Mar 4, 2015)

Hello all,

My wife and I have been married for 2 years now and in that time I think we've had any kind of sex 2 or 3 times. At the start before we were married the sex was great. Almost every day and did lots of different things. Now it's pretty much nothing. No sex what so ever. We don't have children

We love each other very much and she is perfect for me apart from the sex. I'm not leaving her so please don't even mention that. I couldn't live without her. 

On my behalf I do find it hard to cum while having sex so I can go for ages but need "finishing off" via masturbation. It never used to be like this.

I have tried to talk to her about having sex and I get shut down pretty quick. I've tried saying "You know a man has needs as well" I'm not sure if that was the right thing to say but I was getting frustrated.

I am getting to the stage of thinking I should go elsewhere for sex but although good a the time it would devastate her if she found out and I would feel so bad for her if she found out or not. I'm not a cheater and don't want to be but the urge seems to be building to do something about this no sex relationship.

Now I even think if she said ok let's have sex I would feel well she doesn't really want it so I wouldn't enjoy it either. I'm sick of playing to porn every day to try and curb the urge.

Can anyone help please?

TIA


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

You've posted the same thread in 3 different places on the forum.

That's grounds for immediate castration.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

lenzi said:


> You've posted the same thread in 3 different places on the forum.
> 
> That's grounds for immediate castration.


It seems his wife has beat you to it. Now he's running the Eunuch's operating system.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

Hangin in there said:


> Hello all,
> 
> My wife and I have been married for 2 years now and in that time I think we've had any kind of sex 2 or 3 times. At the start before we were married the sex was great. Almost every day
> 
> ...


First you are in a sex starved marriage. MW Davis has a good book on the subject the might provide you and your wife with insights.

Second, stay without children.

If you have tried really talking (that means communicating without making her feel guilty or bad about herself or demanding things from her) to your wife and she shuts you down, then your marriage has another real problem that probably is the core problem.

Telling her that a man has needs is not going to make her feel arroused or encourage marital intimacy that is usually associated with sex. So I would say you are part of the problem.

Going elsewhere is dangerous to your marriage as you well know. Often it is done to subconsciously get caught and end the marriage. It can also create a lot of guilt. 

You and your wife sound like you could use some quality time with a combination marriage counselor and sex therapist.

Good luck.


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

Hangin in there said:


> At the start before we were married the sex was great. Almost every day and did lots of different things. Now it's pretty much nothing. No sex what so ever.


Reminds me of the joke, "What the recommended treatment to cure nymphomania? Answer is "marriage".


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Quit spanking it and watching porn so you won,t take ages . and you won,t have to finish your self after you can,t finish!

I don't,t think many women feel good knowing their man can,t finish with them. And has to masterbate to orgasm!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Divorce.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Re: Help me if you can
You CAN live without her, and if you really can't you're not much of a man, and that might be the root of your sex problem. Sorry if this is too coarse, but man up. Read No More Mr Nice Guy and Married Mans Sex Life Primer. After 50 some odd years I finally had to man up, and let me tell you it makes a difference. Changing will be hard, but you can do it. Best regards.
Share

PS. She is no where near the best. If she was she would be banging you like a screen door.


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## ariel_angel77 (May 23, 2014)

I'm sorry but that is not a marriage. The point of a marriage is husband and wife type intimacy. See a marriage counselor right away. This is a much bigger deal than your making it out to be.


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## fetishwife (Apr 22, 2012)

There must be more detail here..

Before you were married how frequent was the sex and was it erotic and intimate?

Does she have any secondary gain from marrying you?

Could she be cheating?

If there is some soluble problem great...try therapy.

If she is low drive, you need to consider divorce.

Im not impressed with you when you say you would never consider splitting but you would consider outside sex. That makes no sense unless she is low drive or asexual and she agrees to you having sex elsewhere....but is that what you really want?

You are unlikely to change her though....if she is not motivated internally, unless you can stoke the fires with some of the reading material suggested, you are going to be miserable....

By the way...my wife (NOT fetishwife) and I have been together going on 2 years. We have about as much sex now as we did the first week we spent together...almost daily, occasionally skip a day but have 2x+ other days....except during period time she does not feel physically comfortable....the actual marriage event last year did not diminish the sex. If anything she pressures me for daily sex and stresses about it when we dont do it pretty much every day.

So not all women are low drive. I would have thought that when married to wife #1......but she had issues and sex was not an important part of her life...and she still did it 1-5 times a week even more in the 2 years prior to our divorce.

Is you wife anorgasmic? My first almost never had it, my current wife almost always wants to come, although she usually has to get on top to achieve this....she works hard to make sure she comes and is obviously internally motivated...

Also, does you wife get Depo Provera shot or have a Merena IUD? Progesterone drugs are notorious for killing drive....

Anyway, stop with the "oneitis" you can easily love someone else, especially after only 2 years!


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