# marriage confusion



## Mamu_18 (Aug 2, 2010)

So basically i'm 21 years old, my girlfriend is 19 and we've been together for nearly 2 years now. We've been through a lot in families and things but never broke up, we love each other too much. My problem is that when i think of marriage it creeps me out, cause i know i love her and would never do nothing to hurt her but to marry her is something i have a huge doubt. Its not her, its the marriage that creeps me out, the thing that says you're gonna be together for ever i mean cant two people love each other, without getting married. And if someday something goes wrong you have to get through the divorce thing and i know its a big bad time cause my sister and my family went through this. I really dont want to tell her now cause she's the type that gets upset out of nothing and she always dreamt about getting married, i would never dream to break up with her. we're both mature, not the type of collage lovers or something, i just wish there is an easy way to tell her. i wanna have kids but to get married is something i'm afraid of  someone help me out


----------



## careful (Feb 19, 2010)

Hi Mamu;

I was once in your same position. My dad gave me very good advice that I will pass on to you.

People change a lot between the age of 20 and 25. You are at an age where you are trying to figure out how to set yourself up for the rest of your life. Thinking about marriage right now is simply overwhelming. 

There is nothing wrong with giving yourself a couple more years to think seriously about marriage. In fact, you SHOULD do this out of love for your girlfriend. She will not appreciate or respect a man who does not want things to be right before marriage.

As far as what to tell her.....This is an opportunity for you to gain her respect by telling her the truth. Tell her you love and respect her far too much to rush into anything. Your thoughts about marriage will only come after you have built the foundation of YOUR life first. 

If the love between the two of you is true, then my guess is that in a few more years you will feel totally different about marriage. There will come a day that you will know for sure that it is the right thing (especially if you want kids).

Just my thoughts,

Careful


----------



## Mamu_18 (Aug 2, 2010)

thanks careful, that's some pretty good advice in my opinion  i'll wait for now see how things plan out in the next coming years  thanks alot


----------

