# Exposure.



## ItsGonnabeAlright (Nov 19, 2012)

I am looking for some good exposure ideas. In my situation, it wasn't a one time thing, per se. It's been something that has lasted for years, with different people, without regard to the marriage. How can one be exposed when there wasn't a specific mistress,etc, involved? I mean what do I say? Basically, he has blown most of our money, on strippers that charge over a $1k/hr simply because they are fully naked in a vip room. Therefore, if he wants attention, I will give him some. As stated this has lasted a long time, but I did not know the full scale of this until this past month or so. The more I pry, the more I find. 'I don't know' and 'I don't remember' type excuses, have been rampant. But I am relentless in my search for the truth, simply to know what scale of monster I have been sleeping with. Everything is marred. I have finally gained access to our finances, and basically it didn't matter if it was during a time period when I had miscarried, or right by our anniversary, or whether we had just gotten married, this has been going on this entire time. Im not even going to get started with the phone sex and hooker solicitations behind my back. I need ideas.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Do you plan to stay with him? 

What is your goal in exposing. Usually it's done to end an affair.


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## ItsGonnabeAlright (Nov 19, 2012)

Of course, I don't plan on staying with him. He would just use me as his doormat again.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Why do you want to expose? To let people know why are you leaving him? To get revenge?

Would he lose his job if they find out about this?

Who will you expose to?

I'm not asking so that ideas can be put forth.


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## ItsGonnabeAlright (Nov 19, 2012)

What am I going to say, that I left him because everything was great? He cheated, he knows it, and now I have to keep his little secrets like I am sort of accomplice of his? No, It doesn't work that way. We live in a country where we put criminals on tv, so they can get the attention they deserve. 
I don't think I care about his job, that is not my problem anymore. If he cared about his image, and about certain things in his life, he should have thought about that beforehand.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

ItsGonnabeAlright said:


> What am I going to say, that I left him because everything was great? He cheated, he knows it, and now I have to keep his little secrets like I am sort of accomplice of his? No, It doesn't work that way. We live in a country where we put criminals on tv, so they can get the attention they deserve.
> 
> I don't think I care about his job, that is not my problem anymore. If he cared about his image, and about certain things in his life, he should have thought about that beforehand.


IT seems that you will not answer my question so I’m going to assume that you want to tell people that you divorced him because he has cheated with all kinds of paid sexual services from day one. He did this by hiding the financial information from you. But recently you got your hands on the finances and now you know that he has spent in excess of $xxxx,000 on these paid services.

I don’t know where you live so I don’t know about the putting criminals on the TV for attention.

A lot of what you do and when you do it depends on the divorce.

If you have children and/or a possibility for alimony you should care about his job. Shoot in some places if he loses his job and you have one, you would end up paying him alimony and even child support. But like I said I don’t know where you live so I don’t know what you’re looking at in the way of possible support.

You also might care about his job because you might be able to get the court to order him to pay your divorce legal fees.

Until the divorce is final I would not do anything that is extremely publicly embarrassing. Tell his family, your family and your close friends when you explain the reason for the divorce.

Check with an attorney on whether or not his “ho-bby” will have an impact on the divorce and the settlement. You might be able to get half or more of the amount he spent on his ‘ho-bby’ as additional assets in your settlement. If this is the case a court will look more favorably on you if you do not take out bill boards and Facebook pages to tell the world what he did.

Once the divorce is final.. if you want blood then go for it. 

Besides bill boards, Facebook there is cheatersville.com

The fact is that the only people who will care about this are both of your families and some friends. Most of the world does not care what he’s done. They will see it as a personal issue that does not involve them.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

ItsGonnabeAlright said:


> I am looking for some good exposure ideas. In my situation, it wasn't a one time thing, per se. It's been something that has lasted for years, with different people, without regard to the marriage. How can one be exposed when there wasn't a specific mistress,etc, involved? I mean what do I say? *Basically, he has blown most of our money, on strippers that charge over a $1k/hr simply because they are fully naked in a vip room*. Therefore, if he wants attention, I will give him some. As stated this has lasted a long time, but I did not know the full scale of this until this past month or so. The more I pry, the more I find. 'I don't know' and 'I don't remember' type excuses, have been rampant. But I am relentless in my search for the truth, simply to know what scale of monster I have been sleeping with. Everything is marred. I have finally gained access to our finances, and basically it didn't matter if it was during a time period when I had miscarried, or right by our anniversary, or whether we had just gotten married, this has been going on this entire time. Im not even going to get started with the phone sex and hooker solicitations behind my back. I need ideas.


I suggest calling your and his close family and friends and letting them know that you are filing for divorce, the reason, and to ask them to contact him to encourage him to get some type of professional help for his problems.

_"I am filing for divorce from H because he has been blowing most of our money on strippers that charge over a $1k/hr, having phone sex, and soliciting hookers. Basically it didn't matter if it was during a time period when I had miscarried, or right by our anniversary, or whether we had just gotten married, this has been going on during our entire marriage. The more I pry, the more I find. When I try to ask him about it, all he says is he doesn't know or he doesn't remember. I am telling you this because although I have decided to divorce him, he still is the father to my children, I know he respects you, and I would like you to encourage him to seek professional help. Please keep our children in your prayers as we go through this difficult time."​_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Not only is he cheating but he's stupid spending that kind on money on strippers.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Not only is he cheating but he's stupid spending that kind on money on strippers.


Hey, strippers gotta eat too you know.

Obviously this guy is not only a cheat and a liar but a moron. OP, you are well rid of him.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

bfree said:


> Hey, strippers gotta eat too you know.
> 
> Obviously this guy is not only a cheat and a liar but a moron. OP, you are well rid of him.


Spending that kind of money on strippers is just plain stupid. the main job of a stripper is to extract as much money from idiot men as possible. They aren't there to deliver sex or anything like it, they are there to excite the guy and get him stupid so he spends even more money.

So not only should you dump him for cheating, but you really should dump him for being foolish enough to fall for the while strip club scam.


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## berlin292 (Dec 18, 2012)

ItsGonnabeAlright said:


> What am I going to say, that I left him because everything was great? He cheated, he knows it, and now I have to keep his little secrets like I am sort of accomplice of his? No, It doesn't work that way. We live in a country where we put criminals on tv, so they can get the attention they deserve.
> I don't think I care about his job, that is not my problem anymore. If he cared about his image, and about certain things in his life, he should have thought about that beforehand.


I agree with you - he cheated in a massive way, and you are under no obligation to keep his secrets. I wouldn't buy a billboard ad to tell everyone, but any time anyone asks about your marriage/divorced, just answer matter-of-factly with the truth: "He had a log history of paying for sex and strippers, and that was incompatible with my view of marriage, so we are getting divorced."

Once a few friends know, they will do the exposing for you. That's how it worked out with my cheater wife. She had an affair, and wouldn't end contact with the OM, so I just told people the truth. Our mutual friends could make up their own minds about it, which is just fine with me because they all see that she was way, way out of line and she caused this.

I can be the same for you.

Good luck.


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