# Im more confused than I ever was



## risinphoenix (Aug 11, 2011)

Its been a week now since I moved out. One of the last things she told me before I left was that she made a decision (to separate) & has to walk through her decision now. Up until that point she kept flip flopping as to whether she wants the marriage or not. She made her decision because she couldn't put me through her indecisiveness anymore. Since I left, I ceased all contact with her except where it involves our son or money. When she dropped my son off Wednesday night I counted 8 bags under her eyes! Then she called me when I was leaving working yesterday & told me her car won't start (I'm a mechanic). So of course I went & played captain save a hoe (i know she left me for another man though she denies it & hides it from her friends & family) After I fixed her car she picked up our son & brought him to my friends house where I'm staying. When she got there she asked if she could chill there for awhile until her friend that she has to give a ride to is done with dinner. I said she could. I asked her if she was hungry because I was gonna go get food for my son & I & she said she was just a little hungry. I got us all food and she scarfed hers down within 5 minutes. She then admitted she was starving. I looked at her eyes & she still has a ton of bags underneath them, it seemed they went halfway down her face. From what i see, shes not sleeping nor eating much. When she decided to separate & the week I stayed in the house after it seemed as if the decision didn't bother her but now her physical appearance gives her away. She did thank me profusely for all the help I gave her yesterday. I dont cling to the hope that we will get back together & I know that most couples that separate divorce, but I do have a tiny hope in the back of my head. I have to see her today cuz I'm going to our house to work on a friends car. I plan to continue not contacting her unless it involves our son or money & continue working on myself. Im just confused still as to what she really wants. A friend told me that at some point she will realize she lost the best man she ever had in her life. Not to sound egotistical, but she really has. I don't know what my point with all this is. All I know is I miss her & wish she would allow us to work this out.
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