# Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Marriage While Dealing with Mental Illness



## Administrator (May 8, 2013)

Helping a spouse who is suffering from a mental illness can be difficult and, at times, draining on the marriage. What happens, however, when you are the one suffering? Learning to understand and manage your mental illness is hard enough without throwing in the challenges associated with maintaining a healthy marriage. Keep reading to receive some practical tips for making it work. 

*1. Be Open and Honest with Your Spouse*

In addition to suffering from the symptoms of their illness, many people who struggle with mental illness also experience a great deal of shame. The stigma attached to mental illness is changing, but it still leads many who suffer to hide from their symptoms and to withdraw from those who love them. The key to any healthy and happy marriage is open communication and, while it may be hard to share your struggles, your spouse needs to know what you’re going through and how they can help. 

*2. Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Help *

Not only should you be relying on your spouse for help when you need it, but you should also seek outside help. Talking to a therapist or going to a support group can provide you with something your spouse may not be able to give – understanding from someone who is going through the same thing you are. It can also be helpful to talk to someone outside the marriage so you can feel more comfortable sharing struggles related to your spouse or to the relationship. 

*3. Strive for Balance in All Things*

Life is all about balance and harmony. Sure, it can be chaotic at times but you need to make it a priority to do the things that make you who you are so you don’t become worn down by all of it. If you’re struggling with mental illness, just getting out of bed in the morning could be a challenge. The key is to find the things that help you feel more stable and help to relieve your symptoms, then focus on those things while also working to maintain your marriage. 

*4. Take Your Time with Big Decisions*

When you get married, you enter a partnership and major life decisions are no longer entirely your own. When it comes to things like having children or buying a house, you need to think it through and talk to your spouse to come to a decision together. If you’re suffering from mental illness, you may have to extend that process and really think about how the change could affect you and what you can do to minimize any related challenges. 

*5. Don’t Try to Do it All Yourself*

A marriage is a partnership and you and your partner should be able to trust and rely on each other. On days when you are struggling with your symptoms, let your partner pick up the slack! You can repay the favor on a day when they are particularly busy with work or feeling particularly stressed. A healthy marriage isn’t about keeping score – it’s about navigating the challenges of life together.

~ VS Glen, Community Support


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