# Need to rant...



## southern (Dec 6, 2012)

So...my husband works really long hours like a lot of salary paid jobs but it has gone too far. So the last two weeks he has been working from 5:30am -7pm with a 30 min lunch break. He gets woken up in the morning by a co worker texting him at 5:30 AM!!! The co worker also happens to be a female that I have little to no respect for. I don't understand why she can't hold off until he is over at the office. He is normally over at the office by 6/6:30am. The ****ty part of this whole situation is that this woman has a lot of pull with the company and if you dare stand up to her she will ensure that you lose your job. We can't afford for him to lose his job because there are not a lot of options in this economy. We have been looking for a new job opportunity for the last 2 years and have not found anything. 

Ugh...I hate to see him worked to the bone. He has been so tired the last two weeks we have barely touched each other. By the time he gets home from work he has just enough energy to eat dinner and play with our daughter for maybe an hour before she has to go down for bed. Thanks for listening to me rant. In the end I am thankful that he has a job...because I am well aware that there are a lot of people out there that do not. I am just sick and tired of the employers out there having so much power these days. They know they can work a person to death because they know that their employees do not have any other options. You can't quit because there are no other jobs available.


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

You are right about the economy. Jobs are hard to come by these days. We had gone through this too, and he had to settle for a much lower paid job with a much longer commute. I agree it is wrong for the employer to "own" their employees! Wake up calls from your employer...good grief!

Hope it gets better for you guys!


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

southern said:


> They know they can work a person to death because they know that their employees do not have any other options. You can't quit because there are no other jobs available.


That is sometimes the case. My advice would be for him to start looking for another job now, and not quit the current job until he has secured another one.


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

What does she say in her wake up txt?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

^ That's what I'd like to know, too. 

Also, passive-aggressive techniques can actually be effective for countering stuff like this at work.


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## southern (Dec 6, 2012)

The wake up txt usually asks him to do something right when he gets to work...like "take care of this... first thing this morning". I don't understand why she can't talk to him about it before he leaves work or when he gets to the office. 

We have been looking for new jobs for the past two years and are coming up empty...Praying for a change. Thank you all for listening.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

Can he shut his phone down until he gets up? I would make that a new rule. Take no calls or text until after that wake up alarm.


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## IrishGirlVA (Aug 27, 2012)

Is this something she does all the time? Like every morning or at least 3-4 mornings a week? If it is not all the time then I would just let it roll of your shoulders if you can. 

I am a manager and sometimes I have what I call, "shower epiphanies". Or that'll be the time when I remember that something needs to be done and I forgot to follow up. So I'll leave my employees voicemail messages at work as soon as I'm out of the shower. I do this because when I have a tendency to forget, I want it off my plate (mind!) as soon as I can. If that makes sense. But umm, no, I'd never text. Especially if my employee can't do anything about XYZ until they come to work anyway. 

Does your husband have a work number? Can he tell his manager to please leave him vm messages instead of texting? Maybe he can use some excuse about how it wakes you up or wakes up one of the kids? Or is this manager really that much of a pill? If so then I'd just say -- pick your battles. He has a job. No reason to rock the boat over something like this. I do understand it is very annoying though.


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## southern (Dec 6, 2012)

He does not have a work phone. The thing that is annoying about all of this is that there is no boundary between work and family time. They have him from 5:30am-whenever the day is done. Why the hell can't she talk to him the evening before? She has no respect for family. I completely understand if it is an emergency but everytime she has done this it has been something that could have waited until he got to the office. If she has a "bright" idea she need to right herself a reminder and contact him at a more appropriate time.


...as you can tell I am still in ranting mode.


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

southern said:


> He does not have a work phone. The thing that is annoying about all of this is that there is no boundary between work and family time. They have him from 5:30am-whenever the day is done. Why the hell can't she talk to him the evening before? She has no respect for family. I completely understand if it is an emergency but everytime she has done this it has been something that could have waited until he got to the office. If she has a "bright" idea she need to right herself a reminder and contact him at a more appropriate time.
> 
> 
> ...as you can tell I am still in ranting mode.


Newsflash... a boss doesn't have to respect an employees personal time. It's business after all, not personal.

It's up to the employee to establish the boundaries. If your husband doesn't want to take calls before he gets to work, he can do that... this was only a TEXT. It can be silenced. The phone can be off until he's ready to leave in the morning. Whatever his boss wants has to wait until he gets to work anyway, so it doesn't matter if the message comes in at 3 am or whatever. 

He can manage this better than he is. Maybe it doesn't bother him as much as it bothers you?


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## Ladywriter (Mar 13, 2013)

southern said:


> So...my husband works really long hours like a lot of salary paid jobs but it has gone too far. So the last two weeks he has been working from 5:30am -7pm with a 30 min lunch break. He gets woken up in the morning by a co worker texting him at 5:30 AM!!! The co worker also happens to be a female that I have little to no respect for. I don't understand why she can't hold off until he is over at the office. He is normally over at the office by 6/6:30am. The ****ty part of this whole situation is that this woman has a lot of pull with the company and if you dare stand up to her she will ensure that you lose your job. We can't afford for him to lose his job because there are not a lot of options in this economy. We have been looking for a new job opportunity for the last 2 years and have not found anything.
> 
> Ugh...I hate to see him worked to the bone. He has been so tired the last two weeks we have barely touched each other. By the time he gets home from work he has just enough energy to eat dinner and play with our daughter for maybe an hour before she has to go down for bed. Thanks for listening to me rant. In the end I am thankful that he has a job...because I am well aware that there are a lot of people out there that do not. I am just sick and tired of the employers out there having so much power these days. They know they can work a person to death because they know that their employees do not have any other options. You can't quit because there are no other jobs available.


 I see your points hundred percent, my husband has to work start 12 midnight until 8am next morning and it goes into weekends and they have to do over time and dont get paid for it, he is seeking another job but its hard nowadays. The pay is not great either and we struggle to be honest. It angers me how his boss cuts this and that but expects them to work with short staffing levels and then when they cant get the stuff out on time they get a bollocking emails asking why etc. They even cut down the loo rolls there, yes its true. When he first started this job he liked it, but when this new boss started and started to cut everything he hates the job now. Its awful when some one hates their job as they got to do it every day 8hr plus to. He looked on line for other jobs and applied and they said thanks for application and that was it. He has to work bank hols as well. His manager takes the pee and my husband always ends up doing the laters, as my husband is a team leader but the manager above him. They have even cut the bonus they used to get every 3 months now. I said to my husband, I aint being funny but you can kiss goodbye to that now. So I know exactly what you mean.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

A Bit Much said:


> Newsflash... a boss doesn't have to respect an employees personal time. It's business after all, not personal.


Not necessarily. It partly depends upon whether he is a salaried employee or an hourly employee, and also what his job description and/or contract states. 

A lot of employers misuse their power and their employees don't research the laws well enough to understand how to prevent it. 

This woman's texting and her power has him fearful. By learning about overtime pay laws and anti-retribution laws, he may be able to charge the company for overtime if they're technically starting his day earlier than scheduled IF they're also requiring him to be available by phone. 

If they aren't, then he should shut his phone off or ignore her texts until he is ready for them.

Here are a couple of good resources to start with: 

Critical Issues in the Law and Their Impact in the Workplace: Newsletter Article

Employment Law Guide - Minimum Wage and Overtime Pay


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

Good points Kathy.

My take is if this particular employer is texting things like "take care of this first thing" then whatever she wants will have to wait until he arrives in the office. He can shut the phone off and catch the message in the car on his way to work if he wants. He may very well be in fear of losing his job, but it sounds like the employer knows he isn't working on anything from home.

I think this would be totally different if he did work from home too.


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## vspinkgrl (Dec 4, 2012)

I'm living the same nightmare!

Hubby's job calls him all hours and makes him fix issues and has the nerve to still put him on an ON CALL ROTATION! And he is salary! He has to go in this Sunday and miss our Walking Dead time and I'm pissed/sad about it.

Last night we were getting our sexy time in and had to stop cause they needed him and by the time he was done I was dead tired and pissed.

Your right, these companies work people to the bone and the know they economy is trash and anyone would be dumb to quit a job like this. Not much an employee can do or a spouse 

*Hug*


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## A Bit Much (Sep 14, 2011)

My husband being a cop, I understand this frustration. He's currently in a detective position that requires him to be on call every 5th week. It sucks. Been doing it now for 5 years (almost 9 years total as a cop) and as annoying as it is, I deal. We DO make sure when he's NOT on call to maximize our personal time though. Couple time is priority. When he's OFF, his phone is on vibrate. I didn't ask him to do it, but he doesn't want to be bothered and that's how he chooses to handle it.

Sometimes a call will come in even on vibrate that he HAS to take, but I realize it's just part of the job. It's not that big a deal anymore... not enough to ruin my day over. I just enjoy the time we do have together.


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## southern (Dec 6, 2012)

Thank you all for the suggestions and for letting me rant.


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

Have your husband use his current phone as his "work" phone. He turns it on at 8am (or whatever time he feels is appropriate) and then turns it off at 5pm (or whatever). He then gets a new phone that is his real, personal phone. Your husband does need to learn to set his boundaries.


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## Kaboom (Feb 6, 2013)

I used to work a salary job that required me to not only be in the office very early, work late, sometimes weekends, but also to travel all over the country. The kicker was that my work was project based, and I was "on my own" with no help, so I generally had 60-70 hours of office work a week, on top of 1-2 days travel per week. I live on the east coast. When I had to travel to LA or SanFran, I would have to be at the airport by 3AM to get on a plane to arrive there and get to an office by 9am, work an 8-10 hour day, then take an evening/redeye home. The worst part was that I was expected to be in the office by 7:30 am the next day, no excuses.

Yeah, the economy was bad back then in my field (tech bubble / 9-11 timeframe). I slowly got burnt out, wife was complaining, I was never home. I started getting pushy at work about being overworked.

Well, needless to say, my boss was a class-A B****. She decided I had to go, and timed my firing to be the following week after I settled on a house. I was fired for a bunch of made-up BS, primarily for gross negligence, which automatically makes me ineligible for unemployment. 

Needless to say, I couldn't find another job making nearly what I did. Ended up getting 3 jobs and still not making enough, lost my house, my car.. everything.

These people who advise you to "rock the boat" at work have no idea what it's like to lose EVERYTHING. My whole point is that you shouldn't act out about your H's work schedule and your sex life. Worry about taking stress off your H, not adding it on. Worry about his happyness outside of work. Do what you can for him to help him deal with the job, not sabotage it.

If you can't afford work-retaliation, then don't do anything you, or he, will regret.

It's been 11 years since that happened to me, and I'm still to this day under-employed, struggling, living in an apartment, and doomed to financial distress- all because I chose to "fight the good fight" and challenge my employer to treat me better. Regret is a big pill to swallow.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

^ Documentation is SUPER important if you're going to fight the good fight. Journals, photos, videos, text messages, emails... all make up your entire argument when it comes to the he said / she said stuff.


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