# Your happiness is your responsibility



## aurorazz (Aug 11, 2009)

preso said:


> Sounds like you expected your husband to make you happy, and life isn't like that. *Your happiness is your responsibility*.


I have heard this statement and I'm fully agree with it. The idea is happiness is not like money, it cannot be just given by somebody. You have to cultivate it inside yourself. Happiness is seeing a glass as half full rather than half empty.

While this is my belief, my question is how do you convey this idea to your spouse? My wife blame every little thing she don't like on me and on other people. I see her misery as mostly her own making. By blaming others on her miseries she gives up control of her destiny. Instead she look for an ideal husband to make her happy in every way, which is just a fantasy she can never attain.

I have tried to tell her this idea. Bear in mind I have a hard time to convey anything to her that deviate from her belief, even if it is totally obvious and factual. And this is probably diametrically opposite to her philosophy. Is there any parable, story, movie, idiom that might help?


----------



## snix11 (Sep 25, 2008)

"Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Some people don't get that concept that your responsible for your own happiness....
they remain in co-dependent limbo land or throw fits like spoiled children.
Perhaps, it does take a more mature mind to understand, over the age of 13 should be old enough to grasp the concept.


How you get through through to your wife is something only you know as some people will cry and whine if they don't have someone to blame for all their failures and shortcomings. It is the only way they know how to cope with life, blaming others.


----------



## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I am wondering if there is a book our there that covers this kind of message? That would be a good way to approach her...First you read it, then tell your wife "You really ought to read this, it really had some good ideas to make positive changes in our lives." ( something like that)

Anyone out there with a book suggestion?


----------

