# Long time lurker



## The Onion Knight (Mar 19, 2019)

Hello! I’ve been lurking around this site for a while. It’s been a great resource, and I feel better knowing I’m not alone. 

My story is long and sorted. I’m still not sure I can type or say it out loud. Mostly due to shame. Maybe I can get there.

The readers digest version is I don’t trust my wife anymore. Due to her past actions and my own FOO I just don’t trust her. I’m not sure I will ever trust her again (I have a track record of writing people off), and feel confused and angry.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

I'm not sure if you should ever trust her again. And, writing people off is not always a bad thing. Feeling confused and angry may be something we can help you with.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Welcome to no longer lurking!

Use the site as you see fit. 

If you choose to share your story, great. As you indicated, doing so is often a great stepping stone to realizing you aren't alone, and your circumstances may not be as unique as you thought. Although much like life, around here you will of course get the good and the bad.

I hope you continue to find useful information.


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

The Onion Knight said:


> Hello! I’ve been lurking around this site for a while. It’s been a great resource, and I feel better knowing I’m not alone.
> 
> My story is long and sorted. I’m still not sure I can type or say it out loud. Mostly due to shame. Maybe I can get there.
> 
> The readers digest version is I don’t trust my wife anymore. Due to her past actions and my own FOO I just don’t trust her. I’m not sure I will ever trust her again (I have a track record of writing people off), and feel confused and angry.


believe me, nothing you could type here would surpass or even come close to some of the stories people have gone through.
As a lurker, you should know that.

also, most of us have experienced something similar to what you're going through. me included. twice.


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## The Onion Knight (Mar 19, 2019)

I understand that my situation is not unique nor special just because it’s mine. I’ve seen stories that are much worse. 

It’s shame because of what I’ve sacrificed for this relationship. How much I’ve invested, how much I stand to lose. Shame because I put her on such a pedestal. Shame because tbh I thought we were above this. I also thought “as long as I didn’t screw it up, I had it all “. 

Here is a question. Which forum should I put my story in? Thing is, I’m not sure if there was/is PA, IMO there was an EA.


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## Robert22205 (Jun 6, 2018)

Focused Topic: Coping with Infidelity


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