# lost in life and lies



## Ham987 (Jul 13, 2008)

i have been posting here starting last spring trying to find some help 
iT JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE for me 
I had thought my wife and I had some issue due health and age effects and my lack of Attention 
then latter learned she had been having affair for the last year 
we started to go to a marrage counciler and I thought we could get this back on track 
even after she said it was over she was still texting and email him 
I have loved her all along most days I can bearly function 
I have tryed to make amends and change to be the man I should have been 
but this alll seams to be for not she is unsure if she wants this 
and I dont know what to do next I could give her the divorce 
and let her be free 
But we have 20 years here and I belive in my heart that I can forgive her, if she true and has found her way back I dont know who to help her
she says Im every thing she should want 
but why is it so hard for her to love me


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Ham

Your wife was involved in an emotional affair, possibly a physical one. Once a spouse leaves a marriage emotionally it can be very difficult for them to return. I know your pain sir. Since she has acknowledged that you “should be everything she wants” she has not completely marked off a future with you. But in order to reconnect with you she must discontinue all contact with him. If she doesn’t this will drag on and on and likely not have the result you are hoping for. Counseling might help in showing her how damaging the relationship with TOM really is, even if it is just texting and emails. If you want your marriage to move forward you need to get TOM out of her life. Continue to show her you love her in your actions rather than your words. Be caring and consistent in you temperament and dedication. This can get better.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Amplexor said:


> Ham
> 
> Your wife was involved in an emotional affair, possibly a physical one. Once a spouse leaves a marriage emotionally it can be very difficult for them to return. I know your pain sir. Since she has acknowledged that you “should be everything she wants” she has not completely marked off a future with you. But in order to reconnect with you she must discontinue all contact with him. If she doesn’t this will drag on and on and likely not have the result you are hoping for. Counseling might help in showing her how damaging the relationship with TOM really is, even if it is just texting and emails. If you want your marriage to move forward you need to get TOM out of her life. Continue to show her you love her in your actions rather than your words. Be caring and consistent in you temperament and dedication. This can get better.


:iagree:

draconis


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## Jenni (Nov 30, 2008)

This seems to have been going on for a while before you found out. Prohibited love affairs seem exciting because the other person has been lacking some sparks in the marriage but all relationships suffer from that soon or later. Sit down with her and find out what went wrong and what alternatives are out there to save the marriage. Then, you must put an ultimatum and if not, get separated and show her you have some dignity. Not only she will respect you for that but it will show her you will not be sitting around waiting to get over her. She will have to deal with her love affair now in another perspective and it might not be as fun anymore.


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