# How many of you have access to husband/wife's cell, email, facebook?



## threedogs (Jan 3, 2014)

*How many of you have access to SO's cell, email, fb? UPDATE pg3.. he's a scumbag!*

After growing slightly suspicious of my husband's electronic activities, I suggested we start an "open door" policy. His phone has a passcode that he changes every few days, will not tell me what it is, WW3 begins if I ask to look at it.

I give him the passwords to my social media accounts and email. He gives me fake ones.

I finally have to wrestle him down and make him type in the password for me, but of course I figure he has already gone and deleted all the juicy stuff. He claims he "forgot" his password but Husband is wicked smart and cunning and I don't believe that BS for a second. His email password still won't work for me. 

How common is it to have access to your SO's accounts? The way I see it, we're freakin married, his business is my business and vice versa. The way he's acting about this is only making me more suspicious.


----------



## intuitionoramiwrong (Mar 18, 2014)

In a similar situation. 

My take, I don't care if you have a password or a passcode on your things, but if I ask for them, it shouldn't be an issue.


----------



## MCKD (Jan 21, 2014)

Then you need to outsmart him. An open and honest spouse will never hide passwords from you.


----------



## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We have each other's passwords, and usually just leave email and other accounts open.

His unwillingness to show you his device content and lying about things is a bad sign. He may not be cheating, unless that's what you suspect, but could be involved in illegal activity if not. You'll either have to find out some other way, or give him an ultimatum and really mean it.


----------



## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Better yet deactivate all social media as individuals and open up as a couple. If he freaks out that might be a bad sign. 
A married couple should be as open and transparent as much as possible.


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*My skanky XW gave her email/FB PW to me to look something up for her once when she was out of town, and didn't happen to have her laptop with her as she left it in her vehicle at the airport. Since this occurred well before her "cheating days," I simply found what information that she requested while she was still on the phone with me, related it to her, and then forgot about it ever happening. 

And at that particular time, I'd really have to say that I had absolutely no discernible reason to ever mistrust her!*


----------



## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

There is absolutely no reason why a spouse shouldnt have your passwords. I could care less if my wife checks me facebook, email, phone, whatever. I have nothing to hide.


----------



## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

I have it all (all that I know of)

If I find her phone is pass word protected I am smashing it into pieces and going straight to the lawyers office and filing


----------



## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

convert said:


> *If I find her phone is pass word protected I am smashing it into pieces and going straight to the lawyers office and filing*


*No, Convert! Don't do that! Not immediately anyway! 

You should have someone get into the calling module and the text message section of it first! There would likely be a lot of awfully juicy evidence in there to use in Court, in addition to verifying who the OM is, and then summarily trying to go about making his life an ever living hell!*


----------



## Aspydad (Oct 17, 2013)

I have all of my wife's accounts and passwords and she has mine.

I do know this - if your spouse will not give complete and open transparency - THERE IS A REASON!!!!

For the life of me I cannot come up with one reason why my wife or I should ever need to hide anything. But, I can come up with a multitude reasons why we should never keep secrets.

If I were you, I would ask your husband to give a reason for the secrecy. Furthermore, if he continues to insist on secrecy you should tell him that you assume then that he is either hiding an affair (emotional or physical) or something about your finances.

To rule out finances you can immediately run a credit report on your husband as long as you have his social security number.


----------



## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

I have access to all* of my wife's accountants and she has access to all* of mine. Heck, she'll answer texts for me if I'm driving.

*I do not have access to her work email and she does not have access to mine. If I asked, she would open it without pause... as I would for her... but, both are chock full of PHI and our employer does not mess around with PHI violations.


----------



## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *No, Convert! Don't do that! Not immediately anyway!
> 
> You should have someone get into the calling module and the text message section of it first! There would likely be a lot of awfully juicy evidence in there to use in Court, in addition to verifying who the OM is, and then summarily trying to go about making his life an ever living hell!*



good point


----------



## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

My wife never had a password on her phone. She just deleted everything. But she could not delete the online records from our provider.


----------



## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

My wife and I share everything. She checks every once in a while and lo and behold one day read a few of my posts on TAM about how great she I think she is.

She no longer checks up on me at all.

Now she just smiles at me when she sees me typing.


----------



## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

My WW and I now share all passwords and have access to all of each others devices; with one exception. 

My personal laptop. It's locked from her and she knows why. You see, that's the laptop that she let the POSOM have access to 3 years ago while he was in my home.

I don't really have anything to hide from her on it or anything she needs. But I hope it's a reminder to her, that my trust in her has limits.


----------



## threedogs (Jan 3, 2014)

Busted!!! Found nudie pics of his hoe bag girlfriend!!!

Wow that didn't take hardly any snooping at all! What an idiot.

Good thing I control the finances and now I get to go shopping.. for a good lawyer.. and then a hot new outfit! Dumb ass!


----------



## Cubby (Mar 28, 2012)

threedogs said:


> Busted!!! Found nudie pics of his hoe bag girlfriend!!!
> 
> Wow that didn't take hardly any snooping at all! What an idiot.
> 
> Good thing I control the finances and now I get to go shopping.. for a good lawyer.. and then a hot new outfit! Dumb ass!


What a surprise. Another TAM truism: Those that lock everything down, so spouse can't see, are hiding something.


----------



## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

My wife was very secretive about her phone. She would unlock and show it to me if I asked. But ocassionally would not produce it on demand (would run off to delete things before she gave it to me most likely). 

I watched her unlock her phone a few times and was able to figure out her passcode. Then I nabbed the phone when she wasn't around and discovered her online affairs. Mostly over FB, but quite a few texts too. When back over the phone records and saw there were quite a few more texts than she had on her phone.

Now that we are past Dday, her phone is an open book to me. If she has to change her passcode for any reason, I get the new code. I have her email, FB and other social media account information. I can monitor it all I want. 

Once there is nothing to hide, there is no reason to keep it secret. If he is hiding information, it is definetly because he doesn't want you to see it. That is a problem. One you need to address immediately. Once you let it go, it becomes the norm and as time passes it will get harder and harder to crack it open.


----------



## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

threedogs said:


> After growing slightly suspicious of my husband's electronic activities, I suggested we start an "open door" policy. His phone has a passcode that he changes every few days, will not tell me what it is, WW3 begins if I ask to look at it.
> 
> I give him the passwords to my social media accounts and email. He gives me fake ones.
> 
> ...


Always had them, except a minor few, have them all now. My problem was I didn't check when my gut feeling started.


----------



## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

My Ex used to give me full access to her Facebook, personal email and cellphone. The first time I busted her she had a secret yahoo email account and used myspace. Later, she started using her work email and used iMessage on her phone so they didn't show up on our phone bill. 

I bagged her eventually but the point is just because a spouse appears to be open doesn't mean they are. Trust your gut! Even if the superficial evidence contradicts it. If you dig a little deeper, more likely than not, you'll find something.... Never under estimate human intuition. There's so many ways to communicate incognito these days it's actually scary.


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

I had figured out a all of my wife's passwords during our issues last fall. She offered them up to me shortly after (I played dumb - already knew them. I'm an expert at playing dumb.)

She has told me she has no interest in my passwords, but I wrote them all down for her and put them in her bureau drawer. My phone requires 8 digit passcode and work email needs 16 characters that needs to be changed every 60 days. Those are pain in the butts that I mess up half the time so I wouldn't expect her to memorize them, but she has access if she ever wanted it.

The most scandalous thing i do is amateur NFL draft research. The most I found on her was Xmas purchases for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

I know them all now just as I knew them all when my W had her EA with POSOM, she just didn't realize the need to keep secret things secret and hidden, even if she tried now it would be pointless as webwatcher catches everything 

Mind you, burner phones and devices are a whole different ball game!!!

But then again, a raised suspicion and VARs come out the lock box and get put in play.

Once the trust is broken it is hard to win it back.


----------



## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

My husband and I have have passwords for our phones, laptops, etc etc but we know each others info. If he needs to get into my phone or lap top he can of if I need something from his lap top he gives me the same respect. Last relationship I had to fight tooth and nail just to have my ex acknowledge me on FB. So yeah that was a red flag.


----------



## krismimo (Jan 26, 2011)

By they way just because some pass word protects anything doesn't automactially means they are cheating. However having a password protected phone, lap top or secret email and NOT telling your spouse is highly suspect.


----------



## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

....her computer was always on ....as was mine ...never shut down ...never logged out.

....now that her computer died ...she's on my computer all of he time ....and her email / Facebook / and whatever other social media sites always have a window open....

..... we know each others passwords ....but it doesn't matter ....the sites are always logged in.


----------



## appletree (Oct 9, 2012)

I have a completely different opinion here. I want to have my some sort of privacy even when I don't cheat. My husband must not know all the webpages I visit, and I don't have to know what he visits. Sometimes he might watching something extremely stupid, say a very stupid show in TV really I must not know that. But were is the trust? You only trust a person if you are not supervising him or her. 
Or, say I start a webpage, I only will show it when it's finnished when there is something to see.
If he or she cheats then have a talk and you demand that your partner stops cheating. And if the other will still cheat you will realize that you don't need to check the phone. 
In my opinion if you cannot trust you partner but must control him your relationship is doomed.


----------



## livnlearn (Mar 5, 2012)

in answer to your question....me...though he hates computers so the only acct he has is Linkedin..for work..and we both have old flip phones..don't even know if they have an option for a password.:scratchhead: I am on the computer a lot but all my passwords are written on a piece of paper and pinned to a bulletin board out in the open so I don't forget them. He is welcome to go anywhere I do. "People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing"


----------



## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

threedogs said:


> Busted!!! Found nudie pics of his hoe bag girlfriend!!!
> 
> Wow that didn't take hardly any snooping at all! What an idiot.
> 
> Good thing I control the finances and now I get to go shopping.. for a good lawyer.. and then a hot new outfit! Dumb ass!


What a jerk. And not even particularly bright either. 

You're in the right place for advice & support, though! Good luck!


----------



## appletree (Oct 9, 2012)

I would not read my partners email, unless he gives me his phone or lock in the sites he visits etc. It is simply not done. We don't use passwords and I know he would not lock either.


----------



## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

We both have all of each other's emails, social media pages, passwords and everything, but I'd like to address appletree if I might. 

Appletree, the issue is not so much PRIVACY as it is SECRECY. 

Privacy would be closing the door when you get dressed or in the internet world we live in, maybe not sharing a work detail with your spouse. That "work detail" would be the kind that is the proprietary to work and does not have any affect on the marriage. 

Secrecy would be hiding emails so your spouse doesn't see them, deleting texts from the guy at work because the guy at work is flirting with you, etc. That "work detail" absolutely is not proprietary to work and DEFINITELY DOES have an affect on the marriage. 

I don't think people are advocating no modesty. But marriage means "intimacy"--not just physically, but also emotionally, financially and mentally. Your spouse has the right to know what you are thinking and feeling because it will affect THEM. The two of you are ONE now and if you have to hide who you're really talking to or what you're saying, then you are not being mentally or emotionally intimate. You are not transparent (which is being "see through" so they see the TRUE YOU). 

Sooooo...does my Dear Hubby know the password to my work email? You know, I think he does but I don't know that for a certainty! However, he'd be welcome to have it if he'd ever want, and I bet you money he could figure it out and I'd have no issue with him looking at it. He is allowed into my life, and part of my life is my emails (work, personal, and business), my facebook pages (again, work, personal and business), and anything I'm doing! He is INCLUDED in my life and not excluded. 

Make sense? That's not living under the thumb of a snoopy cop. That's trusting MY SPOUSE enough to actually share with him 'who I am' rather than hiding aspects because I don't trust him enough to deal with them. I trust him 100% to look if he suspects something too (as well he should)! He even knows about TAM and everything I write here, most of the time because I read it to him! LOL :lol:


----------



## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

threedogs said:


> Busted!!! Found nudie pics of his hoe bag girlfriend!!!
> 
> Wow that didn't take hardly any snooping at all! What an idiot.
> 
> Good thing I control the finances and now I get to go shopping.. for a good lawyer.. and then a hot new outfit! Dumb ass!



So he did have something to hide. I'm not surprised based on your description of his behavior. Sorry you are going through this but at least now you know the truth. 

Sounds like you have a plan . Take care of yourself.


----------



## threedogs (Jan 3, 2014)

Called him out on the nudie pics... took him all day to come up with this gem...

He is saving them as blackmail cause the girl owes him money.

!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Don't get me wrong, I am pretty torn up about this, but that is hysterical!!


----------



## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

threedogs said:


> Called him out on the nudie pics... took him all day to come up with this gem...
> 
> He is saving them as blackmail cause the girl owes him money.
> 
> ...



Lol, the $h!t cheaters come up with. Who cares why he kept them? The real question is what type of
Interaction was he having that led to him receiving them? Sorry, but women don't just send nude pics to random men. He had to encourage it.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I have always had my fWWs passwords, and she had mine. The thing is, during the affair, her cell phone was glued to her hand! I've always had her facebook password, because she was always wanting me to post the pictures for her because she's lazy to do that sort of thing. The problem was that I didn't know she had created a secret facebook account. I didn't see that coming because I underestimated her, and always thought she was low tech. Well, I won't make that mistake again.


----------



## SteveK (Mar 15, 2014)

*Re: How many of you have access to SO's cell, email, fb? UPDATE pg3.. he's a scumbag!*



threedogs said:


> After growing slightly suspicious of my husband's electronic activities, I suggested we start an "open door" policy. His phone has a passcode that he changes every few days, will not tell me what it is, WW3 begins if I ask to look at it.
> 
> I give him the passwords to my social media accounts and email. He gives me fake ones.
> 
> ...


The issue with this is if theres a will ther is a way.

My wifes POSOM sent her a cell phone. He actually ordered it from AT&T on line, picked a local number and had it delivered to her office. I thought one time when I walked into our home Gym she was acting awfully defensive.

After she went to work I was in the Kitchen packing my briefcase when I heard a weird ring. I tore the basement apart and did not find it.

A few months later after she ran away with the Dope. I noticed one of our ceiling tiles was a little crooked...Ahaha


----------



## appletree (Oct 9, 2012)

And would it had helped snooping? No. I simply have enough trust. That does not mean excluding a person. Anyway my husband and me are using the same computer account at home (I hate his mess on the desktop and try tiding up sometimes). I would always ask before I read something. If you need to snoop then something is very very wrong.


----------



## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Facebook, work e-mail, cell phone....


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

appletree said:


> And would it had helped snooping? No. I simply have enough trust. That does not mean excluding a person. Anyway my husband and me are using the same computer account at home (I hate his mess on the desktop and try tiding up sometimes). I would always ask before I read something. If you need to snoop then something is very very wrong.


Appletree, I also saw your advice on the thread about exposing to OM wife, that husband should not expose or snoop there either. "Wife Cheated But I Want To Work It Out"

How should OP here have handled this situation? Let's go back a few days, she had suspicions that her husband was up to no good.

Go:


----------



## appletree (Oct 9, 2012)

Don't you think you would find out cheating sooner or later anyway? Simply ask what's wrong.


----------



## PhillyGuy13 (Nov 29, 2013)

I respectfully disagree. If she doesn't snoop, she doesn't find the picture. How would she find out otherwise? Walk in on them in bed? Maybe guilt gets the better of him and he confesses?

I'm a big fan of being proactive and taking control of the situation. She saved herself weeks/months of being lied to. She had suspicions and she acted on them.

Snooping without suspicion is one thing. Many spouses do it to be abusive and controlling. I agree there has to be an expectation of privacy, but once trust is broken all bets are off.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

threedogs said:


> Busted!!! Found nudie pics of his hoe bag girlfriend!!!
> 
> Wow that didn't take hardly any snooping at all! What an idiot.
> 
> Good thing I control the finances and now I get to go shopping.. for a good lawyer.. and then a hot new outfit! Dumb ass!


Sorry to hear and yes, the blackmail excuse is total garbage. Even if it was honest, who does that?! Someone of low moral character. 



Cubby said:


> What a surprise. Another TAM truism: Those that lock everything down, so spouse can't see, are hiding something.


"Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing."



BetrayedDad said:


> My Ex used to give me full access to her Facebook, personal email and cellphone. The first time I busted her she had a secret yahoo email account and used myspace. Later, she started using her work email and used iMessage on her phone so they didn't show up on our phone bill.
> 
> I bagged her eventually but the point is just because a spouse appears to be open doesn't mean they are. Trust your gut! Even if the superficial evidence contradicts it.


This is so true. My WS was so "open" about a lot of things. That provided a real false sense of security because he had secret hiding spots for things in our house and secret email addys. Just because they show you X, doesn't mean they aren't hiding Y and Z.



SteveK said:


> I heard a weird ring. I tore the basement apart and did not find it.
> 
> A few months later after she ran away with the Dope. I noticed one of our ceiling tiles was a little crooked...Ahaha


Is that in a guide book or something? Hide it in the ceiling - they'll never know. I found WS's stashes all in the ceiling tiles of our basement. 



appletree said:


> Don't you think you would find out cheating sooner or later anyway? Simply ask what's wrong.


Not intended to provoke, but what is your experience with infidelity if I may ask? 

It just seems to me that you give a lot of advice in this thread and others that is counter-intuitive to detecting an affair. Most cheaters lie when asked and confronted and will take their affairs underground (hide things deeper and lie more in order not to be caught). 

There is a also a lot of lying, and emotional abuse and manipulation on the part of cheating spouses when they are engaged in their affairs. Asking them and doing "soft-confronts" without evidence doesn't work to get to the truth most of the time. 

Playing nice, asking questions and never snooping would enable many affairs to continue if experience in real life and reading these boards serves me right.


----------



## catfan (Jan 12, 2013)

*Re: How many of you have access to SO's cell, email, fb? UPDATE pg3.. he's a scumbag!*

His phone has no password. I am careless about my facebook/ mail account, as nothing has to be hidden. I don't know his passwords on his facebook or his gmail. If he leaves it open, I snoop, scared of his ex FWB. He get's angry about me snooping, although ghere is nothing to find so far.


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

*Re: How many of you have access to SO's cell, email, fb? UPDATE pg3.. he's a scumbag!*



threedogs said:


> After growing slightly suspicious of my husband's electronic activities, I suggested we start an "open door" policy. His phone has a passcode that he changes every few days, will not tell me what it is, WW3 begins if I ask to look at it.


Is he a cleaner for the CIA....if not....WTF?!?! Yes something fishy is going on. Noone is that protective unless they have a reason to be.



> I give him the passwords to my social media accounts and email. He gives me fake ones.


Uhmmmm why? Fake ones....seriously?



> I finally have to wrestle him down and make him type in the password for me, but of course I figure he has already gone and deleted all the juicy stuff. He claims he "forgot" his password but Husband is wicked smart and cunning and I don't believe that BS for a second. His email password still won't work for me.


And you shouldn't



> How common is it to have access to your SO's accounts? The way I see it, we're freakin married, his business is my business and vice versa. The way he's acting about this is only making me more suspicious.


My wife and I have full access to each other's....everything. My wife keeps a journal which I let her have her private space, she's always kept a journal her entire life, but that's only because IF I WANTED...I can read it anytime I wanted to. 

We believe in 100% open honesty. We both are the type that say, I'd rather know we have an issue and deal with it, then to pretend we don't.

PS the level of "privacy" your H wants is unreasonable. I know some people are "private" even in a marriage, but that doesn't mean their spouse shouldn't be able to look IF THERE'S JUST CAUSE. And you have just cause.

Sorry, your H is up to something. You need to figure out how much of an issue it is for you. If you can't keep being married under these circumstances....you need to figure that out. Draw up divorce papers and tell him, either he signs for divorce OR he gives you full access to everything RIGHT NOW!


----------



## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

appletree said:


> Don't you think you would find out cheating sooner or later anyway? Simply ask what's wrong.


So lets look at this scenario for a minute and assume innocence.

Do you think an innocent (as in has nothing to hide) husband would 1. Give false info on passwords. 2. Hide things etc.?

Obviously not. 

Now lets assume he's guilty of SOMETHING where he feels the need to lie and hide.

If you ask a LIAR what's wrong..what answer do you think you're going to get?...The truth?

Apple, I don't think you're actually in as much disagreement as others here think. You're saying you should trust and not snoop. What others are saying is if someone is acting distrustful...you should snoop.

You are right, I don't snoop on my wife because I trust her. I trust her because she is trustworthy. She is trustworthy because she acts and behaves in such a manner...including NOT hiding things.

If your husband had a computer which he wouldn't let you use. EVER, even if it was the only computer in the house....you wouldn't start to wonder WTF does he have on the computer and what he's doing?


----------



## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

appletree said:


> Don't you think you would find out cheating sooner or later anyway? Simply ask what's wrong.


Unfortunately in most cases the question is asked, "What's wrong"? And typically you get nothing of significance in response.

If you research infidelity one of the first signs that experts mention, is your "gut" telling you something is off in the relationship. In the majority of cases your "gut" is correct.

There are many posters here who have started off their posts with something similar to this: "I know I am the worlds most depicable person, I snooped on my wife's/husband, phone/computer, etc, and found out they are cheating on me". I am amazed at the folks that have this attitude that "snooping", is the crime. H*ll if you are married, all phones, emails accounts, etc, should be an open book, period.

As the OP found out, her husband has been cheating.

If you think that most cheaters come clean on their own if you simply ask them is not typical.


----------



## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

threedogs said:


> Called him out on the nudie pics... took him all day to come up with this gem...
> 
> He is saving them as blackmail cause the girl owes him money.
> 
> ...


There's nothing funny about it, the excuse is utterly laughable.


----------



## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

As for passwords and access: my wife and I share all of that info and always have.


----------



## adriana (Dec 21, 2013)

appletree said:


> Don't you think you would find out cheating sooner or later anyway? Simply ask what's wrong.



This is patently absurd and begs for diverse laughter.


----------



## threedogs (Jan 3, 2014)

Thanks guys for the support.. I asked him not to come home that night and he promptly changed all his passwords again, so I'm not sure what else there is that he's still hiding but frankly I don't care. 

I am a very trusting person and it takes an awful lot to make me suspicious. 

I obviously am heartbroken because I loved (still love) my husband, he has always been a very private person and I thought in time as our marriage grew he would become more open to me, every other aspect in our marriage grew but that part did not. He never wanted me to know what he was up to, who he was talking to or texting etc, he made me feel like I was always nagging him and annoying him for asking who was on the phone, who he had to go outside to talk to, who was texting him at 11pm, etc. He was very secretive all the time and I think he may be a sex addict or insatiable or maybe just plain stupid for throwing his marriage away over this. 

The blackmail excuse.. oh boy.. how funny is that.. and it speaks volumes to his character. In between cries I am still laughing!

I am glad I know now rather than later that he is not to be trusted, we have no kids and I am just shy of 30-- my parents were married once before they found eachother and have been going strong for almost 40 years. I hope I can do that too.


----------



## PamJ (Mar 22, 2013)

We have always had each others passwords because we use the same ones for many of the unimportant (not financial) accounts. This is for the accounts I knew about, anyway.

When he was in the middle of his online/sexting/messaging affair he made up 4 new aol chat accounts and those had different passwords but I didn't know they existed at first. When he was caught he closed those accounts and now only has one personal and one business gmail account, as do I, plus FB. I have access to all these and they are open all the time anyway as we work from home so the computers are never off.

So, unless he goes back on his vow to never cheat again and opens a new account, I can see it all. He has not given me any indication he is, or would be, doing this.

You are lucky to have caught this while you are young and there are no children involved. That really complicates things. You can do better.


----------



## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

appletree said:


> Don't you think you would find out cheating sooner or later anyway? Simply ask what's wrong.


I want to know more about your personal experiences with cheating.

I wonder if I should have sat there on the couch and just asked outright to my W why she was so hyper sexual that day when I walked in from work? Why did she open her laptop and shut it down after typing merely a dozen or so words right across the table from me?

Wonder what her response might have been 

No, better to go and have a look see at what is really going on so I know the truth and that there was no way she could lie her way out of being in contact with a high school ex for several days rekindling an old flame.

Reality check, cheaters lie!!

Why do some cheaters change? That is up for debate and discussion, some just grow up, some need to hit rock bottom and loose just about everything before they realize what they screwed up.

OP, I feel for you, cry it out girl, then laugh at his stupid crap, do not take this the wrong way, we are all flawed, but however bad things were, there is no need to cheat or to hide a secret life behind your SOs back, if he wasn't happy he should have got out, end of really!!!


----------

