# Time - my best friend and worst enemy



## Supanova (Mar 29, 2012)

Good morning everyone,

27th February 2011 - Wife and I were separated
I joined TAM shortly afterwards and spent most of my time reading your stories and taking advise which I thought could help me. My emotions at the time were in a mess to say the least, severe anxiety, depression, I couldn't eat let alone think of it, sleeping patterns were a mess waking up every hour and feeling more anxious or just not sleeping at all with severe insomnia, I couldn't concentrate at home neither at work, not on anything, I felt inadequate and utterly useless. When I did get some sleep I couldn't fathem the energy required to lift my head off the pillow.

After reading many posts on TAM I realised very quickly that my feelings were normal but also learned that they would probably get much worse. I couldn't stop thinking of what my wife was doing while we were separated and seemingly needed to hear her voice in order to feel a little better, she wanted nothing of it and cut me off like I never exisited. I felt a sadness so deep I thought I wouldn't last another hour let alone another day. Life to say the least was blackness.

I return to the community of TAM today just over a year later and I'm pleased to annouce that my wife and I reconciliated on the 20th January 2012 almost a year after separation. I would like to give back to TAM members so much of what was given to me - good advise, encouragement and hope. I will gladly share my long story with anyone who want to know what transpired during the year separation and how things are going now after reconciliation.

To end this thread, I would like to honestly say that 180 was the biggest difference in my life but once tweaked to your situation it has power beyond understanding.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

Congrats to you and your wife! It's good to hear these good news stories, however rare they may be.

Personally, I don't see reconciliation in my future (mixed emotions, long story), but I do like stories like yours. Very best wishes.


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## Supanova (Mar 29, 2012)

Thanks canguy66, Trust me... hope was something non existent for my reconciliation, my odds were probably 10000 to 1  I think the important thing here is I still had feelings for my wife and she had feelings for me however after almost a year I had moved on with or without her and I think that's most important.


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## Jayb (Mar 6, 2012)

Thanks for your post. Do you have children together?

My stbxw wants to proceed with our D, even though I filed (out of emotions) and have 2nd thoughts about it. The way I acted soon after separation (now entering almost 10 months), culiminating in the filing for D, really affected her emotions and caused her to shut off any hope. Basically, she is a WAW who detached 2 years before DDay last summer when I found texts/emails. She was at the stage where she was at peace with her decision. I was as raw as could be.

We have been getting along great for the children and we see and communicate to each other frequently.

I am now sober. Cool. Calm about our situation. Contrasted to last winter, when I raged and drank to numb myself. I hope for R, but I don't think it will be anytime soon. She enjoys her independence, even though there is no other man.

I have done some of the 180. Still on the fence about some, due to our frequent interaction revolving around our children (we split them 50-50).

I'm on that rollercoaster. Even though I want to create a new relationship with my wife, I do have doubts. She is a different person than I truly loved and was devoted to. Yet, at the same time, I value my commitment.

I am on the road at helping myself. It is hard to get through this stage when I am detaching emotionally, yet around her enough to be friends.

I would love to hear more details of your story.


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## scione (Jul 11, 2011)

Supanova, if you don't mind, would you share your story with us? Some of us here, including me, lost hope and can't see a happy future in sight. Your story will probably lift our spirits.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

scione said:


> Supanova, if you don't mind, would you share your story with us? Some of us here, including me, lost hope and can't see a happy future in sight. Your story will probably lift our spirits.


Yes, please tell us your story. There just are not many like this and would love to know that even after a year there was positive. Especially if you have kids. Most of us need to let go of hope and you specifically mention 180 so I would really love to hear your story. Please do tell us! I'm in the mood for a long read anyway :smthumbup:


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

yes I would be interested to hear what happened. Reconciliation is an absolute no no for me but it doesn't mean I don't like to hear about those that have!


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## dalvin_au (Mar 19, 2012)

Supanova,

Share us your story...dont worry if its a book. Its our beacon of hope.


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## lovemygirls (Feb 26, 2012)

Let's hear the story!


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## Lifescript (Mar 12, 2012)

Please share your story. It would be interesting
To know what changed your/her mind. A yr is a
long time. I guess love triumphs in some cases.
Congrats to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Supanova (Mar 29, 2012)

Hi everyone, wow i'm a little surprised at the response and I'm sorry for not posting/responding earlier, unfortunetly I have limited time right now so this evening I will present you with my book  it's quite a long story so you guys must please bear with me. For those who asked if I had kids the answer is yes, only one though and he's three and a half, just for the record though, having a child isn't what brought us together but for those who do have it's a significant advantage as it's a common bond. Please be patient everyone as I will start writting as soon as I'm home.


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## capacity83 (Feb 13, 2011)

wow congrats. Me and my ex wife had also seprated for a yr now. We have no hope now as she is now seeing someone else but it's ok, im beyond and over her now. However, i am curious on what actually happened. Please do share!


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## johndeniel (Apr 27, 2012)

Good friend can make your life very happy. I have faced like same situation. But my friend support me and now I am happy.


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