# Mixed feelings



## Lyla12 (Nov 8, 2012)

Hello
I have been married for 7 years and we have no children both aged 30. My husband is a wonderful guy, he is not a drinker, or a gambler nor is he abusive and he does some sweet things for me, which is what gives me these mixed emotions. I go through the day swinging from excitement about the prospect leaving him, to guilt about thinking this way and then fear and foolishness.

After our first year of marriage, my husband left his business and was out of work for a few years. I supported us on my wage alone. While he talked alot about wanting to work, he didn't really do much about it. I helped him get jobs and he would only stay in them for short periods of time citing that he "wasn;t happy" or that it "didn't feel right". This really annoyed me and at one point it got so bad that I told him to leave. He came back the next day.

He eventually ended up getting a great job which lasted for 2 years. He was out of work again but quickly got a new job. It doesnt pay much but at least it is a job. 

My concern is that he wants to have children, and so do i, but I am worried that he will not be able to support us. Also, I still feel like i don't trust him to be a provider for his family. I am the bread winner but I would like to be able to have a family and stay at home for a while. I know this will not be an option with him. 

Also, he always has plans about what he wants to do for work and in the past 12 months has considered about 14 different options (most of which are unrealistic). But it is all talk and no action. 

I feel myself pulling away from him. I have been on holidays without him and prefer it that way. 

trying to talk to him leaves him feeling defensive as he belives I am attacking him. I have tried various approaches but none have worked. Then after he has finished being defensive and angry he apologises.

I am not sure if I love him or if I feel like I have to take care of him because he is my husband.

I am so scared of bringing up the the separation issue. Im scared because of how he will react. I feel guilty because he wants a family and I am not sure if I want to give that to him and if I do I dont want to do it out of guilt.

Thanks for letting me vent. Any suggestions or if anyone is going through something similar please let me know.

Thanks!


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## tonynw (Nov 7, 2012)

stand by your man! its hard out there right now. his day will come and he will provide


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## LiamN (Nov 5, 2012)

Stay true to yourself and go with your heart. Don't let the fear of what he or anyone else will say or do stop you from seeking your own happiness first.
When you live from your heart (despite your fears) it is as one wise person said, "Those who matter don't mind; those who mind don't matter."
Go for it!


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