# Can anyone help?



## amIalone

My wife and I have been having issues. We lost our daughter at 5 months last January. I recently had caught her talking to another guy, but she has sworn to me that he is just a friend to vent to. I did catch her telling other people that she was unhappy and wanted to leave. I believe her that this guy is just a friend, and I’ve spoken to him and he wishes that things work out for us. She is in the military, and very stressed all the time. I tend to overanalyze stuff and be suffocating at times. I’m changing this, but find myself confused at times. She tells me to quit worrying, that she isn’t going anywhere. She says though that she doesn’t know why but it is hard for her to say I love you back to me. She says she doesn’t know what she wants, and she has a lot on her mind but doesn’t know what to do about it. She realizes that leaving won’t solve anything, but seems distant sometimes. I’m trying to find out what I can do…any advice, comments, or personal experiences would help. I almost think that her career is driving her crazy and she doesn’t know what to do. Even though I have my bad days as well, I do a lot to make her life easier in every way possible. She’s had two miscarriages in the last year and says she gave up on having kids, which I don’t believe because I see different in her eyes. Any suggestions? I know for a fact that she has ADHD, which is not my concern. I’m more worried that she has depression and it’s getting the best of her…and us.


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## barbieDoll

Firstly let me send you my sincerest condolences. 

I don't know that I can shed any light on this other than to say that I'm going through something similar with my husband and I really don't know how to cope. My husband and I suffered a miscarriage a month ago. Things since then have changed dramatically and I'm terrified. To add to that loss, we also lost a friend to a freak accident only a week after. I think I'm going through all the feelings you're going through so I just want you to know, NO you are not alone. 

I have my bad days, but I turn to him for comfort. He doesn't do the same. I never know when he has a bad day because he'll turn to the internet or to his video games. This is the reason I joined this forum... to get advice from other husbands because mine will not open up. He insists he's told me what's going on but I"ve never felt so distant from him.

You aren't alone and I hope that knowledge will help you get through this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF

My wife and I lost our daughter about a year and a half ago. It has been the most painful thing that I have ever experienced. I understand your pain.
You and your wife have got to lean on each other. All you have now is each other. I think that it is hard to lean toward someone that we know is in pain for fear of making it worse. The opposite will happen. You two will discover an amazing strength if you share the grief, pain, and loss.
Trust me on this.
Also, since you are already having problems with this, I recommend a counselor.
The death of a child is terrible. Don't allow it to ruin your marriage as well.


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