# He doesn't get it



## itzachicken (Oct 17, 2012)

I'm moving home to help my dad out....he is in his final days. The father of my children just doesn't get it I've told him how fed up I am with the crap and that I don't think he should come along. He accuses me of yelling all the time and being a *****. He still talks about how he wants to work it out. I don't effing get it if I'm the source of all his problems because I'm such and embarrassment then why continue the relationship? We do nothing normal couples do; no love/touching/affection/sex/intimacy/talking/spending time together...none of it but he says he desperately wants to work it out because he loves me, whenever I try to initiate any sort of reconciliation he pulls away and reminds me of every fault I have, so I give up. 

I just want us to get along well enough we can raise our children peacefully. How do you reach a peaceful parenting agreement when you disagree on how to raise the children?


----------



## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

By getting a court order.


----------



## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Honestly, you can hope and pray all you want for the two of you to get along, but it may never happen. You can't control his behavior; you can only control your own behavior and how you react to him.

I hope, in time, that things can become more civil for the two of you, but there's no guarantee that interaction will improve. So you need to prepare yourself that he's going to be a jack*ss for the rest of his life, and that you're not going to get a peaceful parenting agreement.


----------



## noas55 (Jun 25, 2013)

Sounds like he has some serious anger issues. If this is the case, he will never change until he is SHOCKED into realizing his problem or WAKING UP and seeing he has the problem. Either way he then MUST want to make the changes to improve himself. That takes a whole lot of soul searching, dealing with dark moments in their lives and many people can't handle the traumatic ordeal of reliving these aspects of their lives. 
The decision is yours on if you want to give him the chance. Just know that it will be hard for you as well as he makes these changes. The ride is usually hard as heck for the abused spouse as the person deals with things. It usually takes a very long time.


----------



## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

noas55 said:


> Sounds like he has some serious anger issues. If this is the case, he will never change until he is SHOCKED into realizing his problem or WAKING UP and seeing he has the problem. Either way he then MUST want to make the changes to improve himself.


And sadly, a lot of people don't ever reach the point where they realize that they have a problem. And even if they do, many people are too scared to try, or they think they can't change. I've learned that with my STBXH.


----------

