# I'm a bi-sexual husband



## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

*I'm a bi-sexual life-long boyfriend/companion/lover (ahhhhh much more realistic)*

Scrolling all the old threads in TAM i discovered that people are really mad about their spouse being bi-sexual.

I m going to tell you that i'm a bi-sexual men and in fact i actually had a relation with an older men (12 years older) for 18 months, a few years before dating my friend (my LTR "wife")

The relationship ended abruptly because he was actually married and have 3 kids (meaning that i m the OM according to his ex-w). It is because of this ****ty experience (harass by his wife for 6 months), thus i'm really content with women and will never ever date another men again (fear i guess :scratchhead 

Anyways, back to the point. When i was befriended with my wife, she pretty much know that i m attracted to men and women at the same time and accept who and what i m in my mentality (and also she knows my previous homosexual relationship's a disaster and had hit me really hard). She understands that she cannot "compete" with a men thus she try hard to supplement the "male" aspects in our sexlife (ex. pegging, and me doing oral to a dildo, etc).

I know most wives or husbands were shocked that their spouses are bi-sexual or even gay/lesbian. Let me tell you that being bi is not really into the same gender, it is some of the most common misunderstanding of how bi-sexuality works.

I know that it hurts a-lot when you just know your partner is a bi years after the marriage. Do you think that being honest to your date about your sexuality in the first place will prevent hurt and suffering in the long term? (just wondering because sexual-orientation is quite a common thing now-days)

Also will you accept and who and what the spouse really is after being in the fog for years.

Btw after i got burnt from the relationship when i saw a men in the streets i still tell my wife (honestly) that i still have a level of lust on men thus i m more like

-emotional attachment to men:closed
-physical attration to men: still open

p.s please don't judge me from what i m (just sayin)


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

One of my wife's major complaints when she found out I was bi was that I never told her and that, at a minimum, she should have been able to give me informed consent when we married.

I was never active with my bisexuality before we married nor through most of my marriage. In fact, I purposely pushed it into the back of my mind because back when I was a kid, "****" (meaning just about anyone who wasn't a jock) were routinely beat up.

So to answer your question, yes I think one should be open with their future spouse regarding their sexuality before getting married. 

Exactly when you open up is debatable... before your first sexual encounter? When discussing monogamy? When marriage becomes a topic? But is should be discussed before the "I do" part.


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## Wifey2Mommy (Oct 26, 2012)

I like this thread a lot. I am a wife and mother and I also think I am bi sexual. I have always been attracted to women, I have never done anything with other women but I always fantasize and one day maybe I will tell my husband...he jokes that I am bi sexual all the time but we've never actually talked about how I feel about it.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> Exactly when you open up is debatable... before your first sexual encounter? When discussing monogamy? When marriage becomes a topic? But is should be discussed before the "I do" part.


i think is more like before your first sexual encounter, but in my case because my wife was initially a good friend of mine she pretty much knows im a bi (she only worries that am i only good at having sex to men than women :rofl

and about monogamy, we actually got a solution for me dealing with my desire for me (will discuss later too tired to write)



Enginerd said:


> One of your first questions to a prospective mate should be" Do you mind sharing your sexual partner because I will have sex with men occasionally". The next question should be "Do you mind having to use condoms for our entire relationship?". I'm pretty sure this would clear things up and narrow down the field to those rare women who find this situation appealing. Anything other then this would be dishonest.


i called it judgmental not every men and women want to screw their same sex "occasionally" espicially if they are in a committed heterosexual relationship



Wifey2Mommy said:


> I like this thread a lot. I am a wife and mother and I also think I am bi sexual. I have always been attracted to women, I have never done anything with other women but I always fantasize and one day maybe I will tell my husband...he jokes that I am bi sexual all the time but we've never actually talked about how I feel about it.


see? she is an example where she had a strong sense of attraction to women but never act on it so please don't assume that we will always act on it


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

To the OP. You said this:

-emotional attachment to men:closed
-physical attration to men: still open

Which to me meant that you are open to future physical relationships with men. If you had said that you never intended to act on your desire I would have had a different response. However, I would be skeptical that you could go your whole life without acting on it in some way. If your wife is OK with everything from the start of your relationship then you acted in a responsible way. I'm not judgemental about gays and bisexuality. I'm judgemental about mispresentation and using people as Beards. It's not fair to the Beard and it can ruin lives.

Peace


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

It's not fair to be attracted to a male and female "at the same time" while married. If you chose to marry the woman you chose her in all her womanhood for life forsaking all others.

Marriage is taken far too lightly if one thinks it will be fine to supplement attraction to another sex with toys. Trying not to be judgemental because admittedly I know nothing about being bi.


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## LeslieH (Apr 3, 2012)

I don't think sexual preference matters at all. If you're married, the important thing is monogamy. Bisexuality is not an opportunity to have 2 relationships. 

I also think that mentioning bisexuality would have to happen early in a relationship, during the recounting of past relationships talk.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

It just seems really strange to me that some people jump to the conclusion that a bi-sexual person cannot be monogamous if they are willing to admit they find both sexes attractive. When one heterosexual commits to another, does that mean that they no longer find other members of the opposite sex attractive? Of course not...it means that they choose not to act upon it. The same applies across the spectrum of sexuality.

Personally, I took the OP's "closed/open" statement to mean that, *were he in a position to act upon it* he would be open to the possibility of a purely physical relationship with another man, but was not willing to entertain the notion of another emotional commitment to one.

Full disclosure? Fine. I find the three descriptors "heterosexual," "bi-sexual" and "homosexual" to be incomplete in defining human sexuality. I find the Kinsey scale to be more accurate. On that scale, I'd say I'm about a 1, which is defined as "predominantly heterosexual and only incidentally homosexual." Some 20 years ago, I had some experiences with my best friend, fairly limited in content but extended in duration. As such, I can appreciate the sexuality of both male and female forms, although I have absolutely no desire for a full relationship with another man. If circumstances allowed for it, I would not be opposed to another male partner like two decades ago. But, I'm married, so circumstances don't allow for it, and that's that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wifey2Mommy (Oct 26, 2012)

I agree that just because you are Bi does NOT mean that you are going to have sex with the opposite sex while you are married. Like stated above I have yet told my husband about me thinking I'm Bi. but would I ever do anything with a girl, if we both felt strong in our relationship and confidant in doing a threesome then maybe. But as of seeing a women behind is back and cheating, hell no. 

This whole thing of sinnister said about it not being fair to marry one sex and also think the other is attractive, is ridiculous. That's like saying my hubby has blue eyes but also being attracted to brown eyes is uncalled for. 

Like I said it doesn't mean I am going to cheat on my husband. It just means that some things turn me on about a women. its actually more simple then it is confusing and complicated.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

This is info I would want disclosed to me way before I would even get involved with someone.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> I know that it hurts a-lot when you just know your partner is a bi years after the marriage. Do you think that being honest to your date about your sexuality in the first place will prevent hurt and suffering in the long term?


 OF COURSE it would! ANYTHING that is important to a long-term relationship needs to be discussed WITHIN A COUPLE MONTHS of beginning to date:

- want kids/don't want kids
- believe in marriage/never want to get married
- sexual orientation
- HD/LD/asexual
- addictions (gambling, drinking, drugs, sex, pornography, shopping, tv/internet/gaming, etc.)
- religious beliefs/lack thereof
- criminal history (impacts ability to get/keep jobs, thus impacting finances)

If you CAN'T or WON'T be honest about these things, then you're not ADULT ENOUGH to BE in a relationship. Please just get laid! There are plenty of people out looking for a one-night stand...please just go THAT route and quit getting dishonestly involved with other people!

BTW: This was NOT directed at the OP...just an observation in general.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Enginerd said:


> To the OP. You said this:
> 
> -emotional attachment to men:closed
> -physical attration to men: still open
> ...


yes i actually told my wife on how i m still attracted to men physically and she accepts on who i m (a good thing that i told her early in our relationship because i don't want to hurt her in the future). Because of this delicate situation, i had try my best to be honest about my sexual-orientation to her



sinnister said:


> It's not fair to be attracted to a male and female "at the same time" while married. If you chose to marry the woman you chose her in all her womanhood for life forsaking all others.
> 
> Marriage is taken far too lightly if one thinks it will be fine to supplement attraction to another sex with toys. Trying not to be judgemental because admittedly I know nothing about being bi.


i know i m attracted to male/female at the same time and btw did you read my bio about my relationship? i m "married theoretically" (since we actually had a western in Australia and a Chinese wedding in HongKong also we had our ring and family/friend banquet) but we are not actually "officially" married since we never sign the marriage certificate since we know that if we split in the future it will be fast and clean not a messy divorce. (thats why we are childless and proud of it!)

yes we believe in marriage (that are bounded emotionally but not legally thorough a certificate) but i m not sure how using toys means taken marriage too lightly? im confused 



Grayson said:


> It just seems really strange to me that some people jump to the conclusion that a bi-sexual person cannot be monogamous if they are willing to admit they find both sexes attractive. When one heterosexual commits to another, does that mean that they no longer find other members of the opposite sex attractive? Of course not...it means that they choose not to act upon it. The same applies across the spectrum of sexuality.
> 
> Personally, I took the OP's "closed/open" statement to mean that, *were he in a position to act upon it* he would be open to the possibility of a purely physical relationship with another man, but was not willing to entertain the notion of another emotional commitment to one.
> 
> ...


On the Kinsey scale i m more of 2.5 at the moment (between 2 and 3). I actually had been attracted with my best friend after uni and even lusting for him, we've been experimenting this relationship for a few months before both of us had a gf (proves i m not a **** but bi).

Btw i m actually in a position to act upon after my marriage but never act on it because i love my wife so much until 2 years ago when we start to open-up our marriage (which is an another sotry)

I'm sure that being bi is not having a ticket to screw other people...... just sayin



SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> OF COURSE it would! ANYTHING that is important to a long-term relationship needs to be discussed WITHIN A COUPLE MONTHS of beginning to date:
> 
> [*]want kids/don't want kids
> [*]believe in marriage/never want to get married
> ...


Ok i m just asking about this just for the interest on how spouses confesses their sexual-orientation early in the relationship, no need to get serious here

(i know its important but just relax)


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> This is info I would want disclosed to me way before I would even get involved with someone.


I agree. I need to know whether a man is heterosexual or bisexual before I get seriously involved with him. Don't drop the news on me after we're married! I have nothing against homosexuality or bisexuality, but I don't want to be in a serious relationship with a bisexual man.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

i can see your reasoning, because he can cheat on both ways isn't it?


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

> Ok i m just asking about this just for the interest on how spouses confesses their sexual-orientation early in the relationship, no need to get serious here
> 
> (i know its important but just relax)


I guess I just don't understand the point of your thread!

1. IF you want to know HOW people told their spouses or lovers that they ARE bi-sexual, then you just put: *How did you discuss your bi-sexual-orientation with your significant other?*

2. IF you want to complain about common misconceptions about bi-sexuals, then you could put: *some of the most common misunderstanding of how bi-sexuality works*

3. IF you want to VENT about how you can't trust lying, cheating bi-sexual men like your ex-lover whose wife called you the Other Man (which you, in fact, WERE), then you put: *Venting about lying, cheating ex-lover*

But, to state that you


> discovered that people are really mad about their spouse being bi-sexual.


 shows that you don't get it! They aren't angry about their spouse being bi-sexual, they're angry about being lied to, deceived, misled by a lying cheating bi-sexual spouse (sound familiar?)



> I know that it hurts a-lot when you just know your partner is a bi years after the marriage.


Saying it hurts a lot to find out your spouse of many years has been LYING TO YOU about such an important issue is quite the understatement! Some of these people have CHILDREN to raise in these marriages with DISHONEST spouses.



> I know most wives or husbands were shocked that their spouses are bi-sexual or even gay/lesbian.





> Do you think that being honest to your date about your sexuality in the first place will prevent hurt and suffering in the long term? (just wondering because sexual-orientation is quite a common thing now-days)


I thought you were seriously asking a question or seeking advice. I don't know WHAT the point of your thread is...advice, concern, information, venting? You seem to be all over the map.


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## mel123 (Aug 4, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I thought you were seriously asking a question or seeking advice. I don't know WHAT the point of your thread is...advice, concern, information, venting? You seem to be all over the map.


:iagree: :scratchhead: :scratchhead: :scratchhead:


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

I think the point is him being able to say I am bi-sexual (thread title) and then saying it's fairly common.

IT IS NOT COMMON. You made the choice.IMO

Like they say.... if a man builds a thousand bridges and......you know the rest.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

SlowlyGettingWiser said:


> I thought you were seriously asking a question or seeking advice. I don't know WHAT the point of your thread is...advice, concern, information, venting? You seem to be all over the map.


as an OP my purpose of opening this thread is just having a easy discussion on bi-sexual spouse, just because my questioning and my lay-back manner in my question doesn't mean i don't care a sh!t about cheating bi-sexual spouses

you just need to stop thinking too much on the issue


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

the liberal one said:


> i can see your reasoning, because he can cheat on both ways isn't it?


No, it's because I don't want to get involved with someone who is bisexual.


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## Helplease (Nov 8, 2012)

Wifey2Mommy said:


> I like this thread a lot. I am a wife and mother and I also think I am bi sexual. I have always been attracted to women, I have never done anything with other women but I always fantasize and one day maybe I will tell my husband...he jokes that I am bi sexual all the time but we've never actually talked about how I feel about it.


Most women are, on some level. At least that has been my experience.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Helplease said:


> Most women are, on some level. At least that has been my experience.


its more common that women are bisexual than men but it doesn't mean that most women are bisexual


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

I've noticed in other threads a lot of guys totally adamant that bi-sexuality does not exist with men. You are either gay or you're not. If you claim to be attracted to women to, you're a liar or fooling yourself. What do you think of that?


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

DayDream said:


> I've noticed in other threads a lot of guys totally adamant that bi-sexuality does not exist with men. You are either gay or you're not. If you claim to be attracted to women to, you're a liar or fooling yourself. What do you think of that?


It depends on how honest those so called bi-sexual men (secretly gay) are. If they are not honest and confident with their sexuality and lie to your spouse for years (even decades!) they are weaklings who don't trust themselves. I don't hold respect to liars who hide their homosexuality by disguising as a bi-sexual. It makes bi-sexual like me likely to be discriminated because everyone thinks i m gay (but i m NOT!)

When i met my wife as a friend and later my girlfriend I've been really honest to her about my bi-sexuality and even told her to break off with me if she can't "handle" my sexuality. (which she didn't hence we were married )

Being an old-school every relationship base on honesty and communication even if i can be attracted to men and women at the same time. I'm being honest about my sexuality, my parents, friends, some co-workers knows i m a bi. I embrace my sexuality because it is who i am as a person. Why being attracted to male and females are stigmas to society there's no such thing a black and white in terms of sexuality. (just look at the kinsey scale)

p.s Thanks DayDream for reviving this thread it is quite appreciated while i was absent for a while.

Can you post links that involves on wife's suspecting their husbands are gay? (i strongly believe those men are bi but they are mistaken as gay and i want to show the wives of how to deal with their H's sexuality as a bi-sexual)

Thanks again! and also best question so far:smthumbup:


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Satya said:


> I respect anyone's sexual preference but what I do not respect is being lied to. My ex H changed gender and sexual preference as well. I have not spoken to him in over a year but I believe that she now says she is bi.
> 
> I did not take vows to be with someone who had gender identity misgivings as well as sexual preference "enlightenment". Rather than share with me his feelings and frustrations so a.) he could release this mentally straining burden and b.) I could decide for MYSELF what my next steps could be, he hid everything (for at least 5 years that I'm aware of out of a nearly 8 yr marriage). I got dragged along, projected on, expected to jump through hoops to be the comedy relief and comfort while he sorts his internal demons out and blames me for most everything that makes him unhappy. Finally the shoe drops and im jettisoned off. Now I no longer exist in history.
> 
> ...


i m sorry for your situation, your husband should obviously be honest with you and himself on his sexuality. The reason that people don't admit they are bi or **** because they were afraid of what people will view them. I also got some problems of being insecure about my sexuality, luckily my parents just accept for who i m (except my christian relatives :rofl and even supports me to find a boyfriend (but finally settled for a women because i LOVE her) 

i m afraid that he is quite insecure about himself and failed to be honest with you about it. Sorry for the hurt that he had created, i hate people who lie to their spouse on sexual orientation because it makes honest bi guy like me look bad


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Satya said:


> I understand the fear of being judged unfairly. My own brother is bi so I have the utmost respect and empathy for his fear of coming out sooner with the truth. He is not loved by the family any less because of his honesty and the friends who had an issue with it are not his friends anymore - these are the ones felt lied to, including some roommates he admitted an attraction to. He has come to accept people will feel as they will about it.


sorry about your brother, if i was single i would surely comfort him its just some people can be judgmental d-bags even if its your friend and your parents.

i lose a few good friends because i m bi............. it makes me cried sometimes wondering why a person cannot love the same/opposite sex..........(at least i had my understanding wife on my side patting my back)


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

Legally you are not married. You are just playing house and can easily walk away from your relationship. I find it interesting that your marriage is technically a fake. It's a fact that cannot be ignored when discussing a so called "bi-sexual husband". When you accuse people of" thinking too much" its your way of diverting the issue because you cannot deal with that line of questioning. I seriously doubt your sincerity regarding this thread and most if it appears to be your way of justiftying your denial.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Enginerd said:


> Legally you are not married. You are just playing house and can easily walk away from your relationship. I find it interesting that your marriage is technically a fake. It's a fact that cannot be ignored when discussing a so called "bi-sexual husband". When you accuse people of" thinking too much" its your way of diverting the issue because you cannot deal with that line of questioning. I seriously doubt your sincerity regarding this thread and most if it appears to be your way of justiftying your denial.


er? that thread is not going to end well


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

DayDream said:


> I've noticed in other threads a lot of guys totally adamant that bi-sexuality does not exist with men. You are either gay or you're not. If you claim to be attracted to women to, you're a liar or fooling yourself. What do you think of that?


Well, I'm bi. My guess is that guys who say you are either gay or straight are probably projecting some insecurities about themselves.

Don't know why someone could not be bi. That's like saying you could only love a woman with blue eyes and have no attraction to one with brown eyes. You can like and be attracted to people in different ways... it may be physical, it may be emotional/romantic. There just isn't any absolutes any more.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Male or female, bi-sexuality should form part of the sexual history disclosure early on in the relationship. 

Whilst I wouldn't marry someone who was bi-sexual, I don't believe that it _necessarily_ follows that a bi-sexual spouse is more likely to cheat than a heterosexual spouse.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> Well, I'm bi. My guess is that guys who say you are either gay or straight are probably projecting some insecurities about themselves.
> 
> Don't know why someone could not be bi. That's like saying you could only love a woman with blue eyes and have no attraction to one with brown eyes. You can like and be attracted to people in different ways... it may be physical, it may be emotional/romantic. There just isn't any absolutes any more.


me being bi its just a "natural" choice since young, i can be attracted to some of my friends and even in love (which i carefully hide it in shame) until i m dating my best-friend (he is bi-curious and wants to experience his curiosity) thus i stated to gain enough confidence to admit i m bi-sexual not by choice but by my nature itself. No one can ever change my sexual orientation (unless some bible bashing?:rofl



Cosmos said:


> Male or female, bi-sexuality should form part of the sexual history disclosure early on in the relationship.
> 
> Whilst I wouldn't marry someone who was bi-sexual, I don't believe that it _necessarily_ follows that a bi-sexual spouse is more likely to cheat than a heterosexual spouse.


totally agree with you, bi-men or even women had to disclose their sexual orientation early in their relationship which harness truth and honesty but also ensures that despite the bi can be attracted to men and women, they are being loyal to their girl/boy friend.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

the liberal one said:


> When i met my wife as a friend and later my girlfriend I've been really honest to her about my bi-sexuality and even told her to break off with me if she can't "handle" my sexuality. (*which she didn't hence we were married *)


I'm confused because in other posts you said you are not married to her, just living together.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> I'm confused because in other posts you said you are not married to her, just living together.


oh sorry! we have a "wedding" by having a few banquets with both of our relatives (we even have a chinese wedding back in HK) the only difference is that we didn't sign the legal papers that recognize us a couples.

(we don't want to waste our money on lawyers during divorce if we resent each other, we could just simply move away )

i hope that clarify your question since most people expected that we were "officially" married just because we had a wedding


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Ok, so you live together but you're not her husband and she's not your wife. You're not really a bisexual husband as your thread title says. More like a bisexual life partner or bisexual boyfriend.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> Ok, so you live together but you're not her husband and she's not your wife. You're not really a bisexual husband as your thread title says. More like a bisexual life partner or bisexual boyfriend.


yeah sorry about the misunderstanding, its just since this forum is about marriage i just get into the mindset that we are husbands and wives.

btw how can i change the title of the thread?


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

the liberal one said:


> yeah sorry about the misunderstanding, its just since this forum is about marriage i just get into the mindset that we are husbands and wives.
> 
> btw how can i change the title of the thread?



How about "Shacking Up with a Bi-Sexual Man"


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## Zing (Nov 15, 2012)

Satya said:


> I understand the fear of being judged unfairly. My own brother is bi so I have the utmost respect and empathy for his fear of coming out sooner with the truth. He is not loved by the family any less because of his honesty and the friends who had an issue with it are not his friends anymore - *these are the ones felt lied to, including some roommates he admitted an attraction to.* He has come to accept people will feel as they will about it.


This is what confuses me... and its not the first time I've come across something like this... 

When some men come to know that their friend (of whatever length of time) is gay/bi [and may harbour a secret attraction to them] why do they sever all ties unless obviously the homosexual/bisexual man in concern is coming on too strongly...it just seems a bit unfair to me...
Some heterosexual men seem to be very fussy about the entire issue and not want to associate with anyone other than heterosexuals...

I've not noticed the same anti-homosexual intensities with girls/ladies though... I've not really heard of/come across ladies shooing away a friend who's homosexual/lesbian [even when they came to know that their friend harboured secret attractions]...

btw Satya, sorry for what you've been through...


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Enginerd said:


> How about "Shacking Up with a Bi-Sexual Man"


please no silly names........ sometimes people like you really knows how to make people laugh by your comments, what a valuable member for TAM!

try to post those comments in "coping with infidelity" section i m sure people will be much less depressed after reading your comments of ignorance.:rofl:

may be you are Jon Stewart!


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

the liberal one said:


> yeah sorry about the misunderstanding, its just since this forum is about marriage i just get into the mindset that we are husbands and wives.
> 
> btw how can i change the title of the thread?


Go to your first post in this thread. Go to EDIT. From there Go to ADVANCED EDIT then you can edit the thread title.


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

the liberal one said:


> please no silly names........ sometimes people like you really knows how to make people laugh by your comments, what a valuable member for TAM!
> 
> try to post those comments in "coping with infidelity" section i m sure people will be much less depressed after reading your comments of ignorance.:rofl:
> 
> may be you are Jon Stewart!


I do like Jon Stuart since he possess a sense of humor about himself. A great quality in a person. If you came to a pro-marriage website seeking sympathy because your Bi-sexual then you're more lost then I originally thought. How am I ignorant when you misrepresented yourself as being a husband? I never questioned your sexuality. I questioned your rational. The premise of your post was completely inaccurate, but then again I'm not entirely sure that you are aware of your own contradictions. You pulled the ignorance card out on me but its just the usual PC smoke screen used to fend off anyone who questions the motives of a gay person. Yes you are gay. Ask another gay man what he thinks about bi-sexuals.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Enginerd said:


> I do like Jon Stuart since he possess a sense of humor about himself. A great quality in a person.


For once i agree with you hear hear!:smthumbup:



Enginerd said:


> If you came to a pro-marriage website seeking sympathy because your Bi-sexual then you're more lost then I originally thought.


i m seeking a discussion on the views of bi-sexual individuals



Enginerd said:


> How am I ignorant when you misrepresented yourself as being a husband? I never questioned your sexuality. I questioned your rational.


oh please.............. pffff even i know that is offensive



Enginerd said:


> The premise of your post was completely inaccurate, but then again I'm not entirely sure that you are aware of your own contradictions.


examples pls?



Enginerd said:


> You pulled the ignorance card out on me but its just the usual PC smoke screen used to fend off anyone who questions the motives of a gay person.


"PC smoke screen" oh please make a better insult next time like using an anonymous TAM account with an untraceable source. And what did you say about motives of a "gay" person? You are already judgmental at the start already! 



Enginerd said:


> Yes you are gay. Ask another gay man what he thinks about bi-sexuals.


worse post ever in TAM how dare you! and btw you just contradicts yourself as well. You had just accused me for being gay! Hey i have been dating with men and women on and over for 10 years before i settle.

http://sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/532153_283194775117459_2040531112_n.jpg

take that! :rofl:



Coffee Amore said:


> Go to your first post in this thread. Go to EDIT. From there Go to ADVANCED EDIT then you can edit the thread title.


thanks and i've done it minutes ago cheers!


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> I agree. I need to know whether a man is heterosexual or bisexual before I get seriously involved with him. Don't drop the news on me after we're married! I have nothing against homosexuality or bisexuality, but I don't want to be in a serious relationship with a bisexual man.


Same here; because it's hard enough for two _straight_ people to be married without throwing in another ingredient to the equation. If my wife were to tell me she was bi we would no longer be married or we wouldn't have gotten married to begin with, because that's just a little too much drama for my tastes.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Cee Paul said:


> Same here; because it's hard enough for two _straight_ people to be married without throwing in another ingredient to the equation. If my wife were to tell me she was bi we would no longer be married or we wouldn't have gotten married to begin with, because that's just a little too much drama for my tastes.


you simply just had to stand-up and admit that you are a bi or even gay/les. people can be appalled (some of my co-workers only) by the truth but people will be impressed (my girlfriend, my parents, friends) by my honesty and bravery for admitting something that cannot be changed 

(heck some of my best friends had set me up with a men for a date when i was single)


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

the liberal one said:


> you simply just had to stand-up and admit that you are a bi or even gay/les. people can be appalled (some of my co-workers only) by the truth but people will be impressed (my girlfriend, my parents, friends) by my honesty and bravery for admitting something that cannot be changed
> 
> (heck some of my best friends had set me up with a men for a date when i was single)


Oh that's fine and I'm not knocking you for it, but it's just something that I don't think I could handle or would wanna get mixed up with if marriage was involved. My biggest concern would be that there's no way in hell I could fullfill my wife's sexual desires for being with a woman, which means she will either have to put that all on hold or continue wanting a woman too which could very well lead to infidelity.


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## the liberal one (Nov 4, 2012)

Cee Paul said:


> Oh that's fine and I'm not knocking you for it, but it's just something that I don't think I could handle or would wanna get mixed up with if marriage was involved.


that is so true some of my ex-gf just can't handle for me being a bi (they are not discriminating me) and "friend-zoned" me (yup i'm still friends with some of my ex's) 



Cee Paul said:


> My biggest concern would be that there's no way in hell I could fulfill my wife's sexual desires for being with a woman, which means she will either have to put that all on hold or continue wanting a woman too which could very well lead to infidelity.


That is exactly what my girlfriend was concerned when she starts to live with me. She has expresses her concerns (she is a down-to-earth person) when she starts to sleep next to me and had some intensive pillow talk. I assured her that i will be loyal to her but i actually confessed that i still have some-kind of lust for men (yes i watch gay porn).

A few months after living together, she offers me the freedom to have a sexual relationship with a men because she feels that she can't fulfill the role. And her only demand is to come home every night and cuddle her. I cried after she offers the deal and I was wreak with guilt because i love her but i still lusted for men. 

Eventually both of us agree that i'm allowed to go to a male brothel every fortnight to release my sexual "tension" for men. After a year of this agreement we loved each other more than ever since she feels that there will be no worries and stress for me lusting for men (that leads to infidelity) while i love her because she knows my needs and appreciate that she had taken some emotional toll on her mental health for fulfilling my needs.

During that time my gf told me that she seems to be "bi-curious" with women and i told my gf to have sex with a women escort/prostitute to "try" it out. She did after a few weeks of planning and setting rules and eventually we are really into our swinging lifestyle


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

the liberal one said:


> that is so true some of my ex-gf just can't handle for me being a bi (they are not discriminating me) and "friend-zoned" me (yup i'm still friends with some of my ex's)
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ok now this is all weird and creepy and I wish you luck with all of that but I'm now...........out!


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

this does not seem like marriage, it does not seem like committment, it does not seem fair to her, it seems selfish of you and hurtful and degrading to her.


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## Cee Paul (Apr 11, 2012)

ATC529R said:


> this does not seem like marriage, it does not seem like committment, it does not seem fair to her, it seems selfish of you and hurtful and degrading to her.


Not to mention...............WEIRD & CREEPY!


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

ATC529R said:


> this does not seem like marriage, it does not seem like committment, it does not seem fair to her, it seems selfish of you and hurtful and degrading to her.


Yup yup yup. I couldnt imagine hurting a woman like this, even being upfront about it from the get go. I would never make a comitment or pseudo marriage or whatever it is you have. It would be causual because I could never fully commit sexually to a woman.


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## ad-havoc (Nov 29, 2012)

ok........... i m not sure is he saying the truth or not, just confused


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