# How to get over being cheated on? Very long



## Cuddly84 (Jan 24, 2008)

Im 23 yrs old with a 19 month old son. Here is my story of being cheated on.

First time i was cheated on was in my first relationship with someone 3 yrs older than me when i was 19. I stayed with him for 2 years amoungst the sexret calls from various females ( he said they were just friends). Msn messages from various girls mind u he was about 23 the girls were as young as 14 I should have known something was up but i was young and vulnerable from a very abusive past with stepfather.

The thing that made me questiont he relationship when i found out he met up with a girl at 2am int he morning while i was at home.i forgave him and continued to stay with him for a further 15 months during this time his female friend started calling him at the start i was alright wsith it but then it started to become a habit every night calling and staying on the phone for 4-5 hours sms;s all day calling in amongst having sex. cancelling plans to wait for her calls I had enough and in the end I broke it off with him even though we loved each other still. 


The sexond time was with my babies father he left me when i was 14 weeks pregnant no reason just got up and vanished refused to see me and then started getting abusive I then find out he was telling girls over the internet tht he loved them and was talking to the on the phone I even had one girl telling him the baby isnt his and tht i was evil. 

I took him back when my son was 2 months old I caught him 3 times with his bros ex gf fondling between her legs or sitting in a car with her at odd hours of the morning each time i forgave the worst thing about it i stuck around especially when he walked in his pops funeral with her and went straight to her to grieve. The last straw was when i found out he was still telling indonisian girls he wanted them and promised one marriage and I then caight him with his bros ex gf again in a car and refused to look after me and my son made up an excuse he had to go to the hospital.

I broke it off with him and i still have him telling me he loves me etcetc misses me when he is with the girl he cheated on me with. SOme of the days i have r great others i just wanna die as my heart has been hurt so much i dont know how to repair it. I am in a new relationship he is wonderful but my trust is tarnished cause of the past and i am forever questioning my new partners actions and always putting up a barrier cause i dont wanna be hurt again i feel liek im pushing my bf away i dont wanna loose him but i dont wanan tbe hurt either.


It has got to the point where i am depressed and Its taking a toll how can i get ove rbeing cheated on and move on with my partner who is i believe my knight in shining armor.


----------



## momfirst (Sep 28, 2007)

you know your story really made me get teary eyed.... I am nobody to tell you what you should do but what I think is that before you start a new relationship you need to heal the wounds left by those guys in your life.

I know its painful but you will get through and one day you'll look back at those experiences and see how strong you've become and feeling that nobody has the right to treat you that way.

good luck


----------



## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Your knight may have come to early as you are not healed. However, judge him as if nothing ever happened to you. Allow him a clean slate. Set down ground rules for you and your relationship. Talk to him everyday and ask that he truely listen to you and when he talks listen to him.

The other smucks in you life willl fade over time. Cut them out of your life as much as you can. DOn't let them and their past affect you and your knight.

draconis


----------



## emate1209 (Jan 17, 2008)

Hi Cuddly,

Writing to you as a fellow Aussie national is quite a treat in these international forums.

I think the two previous posts have hinted that you may be a tad too early to start another relationship as you need some time to heal and get over the very unhealthy relationship you just had.

My suggestion is, if you can hang on and wait before starting a relationship then do so. You really need to have some time for yourself to reflect, maybe forgive but most importantly try and forget and move forward.

But given that you have started the relationship I would suggest that you ask your partner to be very patient and understanding, again, given your previous relationship. 

You will have to explain why you are so jumpy and cautious and that it's got nothing to do with him but is an issue for you to resolve "internally".

By talking about it and coming to these forums is the best way to relieve the pain so you've done the right thing to start this post.

Being a little nervous about men and relationships is just a natural way to heal your wounds. Continue to win the emotional battle especially for your baby who really needs you now more than ever.

Finally, not all blokes in this world are "bastards" so please remain positive as you are still very young and have so much to achieve for you and your baby.

Best of luck.

Cheers


----------



## sarahdale24 (Feb 3, 2008)

momfirst said:


> you know your story really made me get teary eyed.... I am nobody to tell you what you should do but what I think is that before you start a new relationship you need to heal the wounds left by those guys in your life.
> 
> I know its painful but you will get through and one day you'll look back at those experiences and see how strong you've become and feeling that nobody has the right to treat you that way.
> 
> good luck



Took the words out of my mouth! Love is always thrown around so casually, and it shouldn't be. ANYONE who cheats on you doesn't love you. no matter what they say. 

Healing yourself is key. Explain to your bf now what's went on and such and maybe he can help you heal. Tell him that you don't want to push him away and that you know what you have with him is real, but ask for a little understanding while you get through this difficult time.

*Hugs* and hope you can overcome this and realize that such a beautiful soul as yours deserves only the best!


----------

