# Three months on



## alicewonderland (Feb 11, 2011)

Its been almost three months since H left. Today all the pieces are coming together. I found out the woman he is with was the daughterinlaw of one of his big boses that retired last year.A is my husbands new woman, C is my husbands new womans husbands and B is the mother of C. I know the family!!!I was convinced to ring B as I knew her to find out if C and A are still together. Well A left her husband mid last year and now know that my husband and his wife are a pair.......The worse thing about all this is that he has manipulated and lied to family and friends saying I kicked him out and thats why he has a new woman and he is a cheater. I was so angry when my 16yr said to me "mum, dad asked him to promise I wouldnt say anything but after he left he told me that your mum wants to end this marriage and he has tried but she wants it over" how dare he lie and manipulate the kids like this. Lucky my daughter is smart enough to put 2 and 2 together. Its been tough trying to accept this is over and hard to listen to all the lies he has told but now I know I have to move on. I am worried that I am starting to feel very bitter and I dont want to be bitter, I just want to enjoy life.

However I feel like I wish he would hurt like he has hurt me and the kids.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

alicewonderland said:


> IIts been tough trying to accept this is over and hard to listen to all the lies he has told but now I know I have to move on. I am worried that I am starting to feel very bitter and I dont want to be bitter, I just want to enjoy life.
> 
> However I feel like I wish he would hurt like he has hurt me and the kids.


When my first marriage broke down, I started to hear stories, of how I had been cheating, how I was an alcoholic, how I had hit her, blah blah blah, all of it was lies, but put me in a real bad light for many years. It took quite a while, but the truth won over the lies, and now no one believes the stories that were told.

I am sorry for you that you have had to go through this ordeal, but know that the lies will be exposed for what they are, in time.

And yes, I think we all wish our partners to feel the pain that we have felt


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

The character assassination of the betrayed spouse is standard operating procedure by a cheater.


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## alicewonderland (Feb 11, 2011)

Thanks for your wise words. Yes I the lies are starting to expose themselves but it still hurts. I dont understand why a person would be so cruel to someone he has spent such a long time with haveing a family. It doesnt make sense to me? Why why I ask mysef. I have put up with so much during our marriage "till death do us apart" and I mean have put up with alot and he decides to have an affair and give up his family? Doesnt make sense to me at all!!!!! 

The assassination charater I do understand and agree.....


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Hey Alice. Sorry to hear of it. The affair was prob going on longer than you know, sadly. Almost always when someone ups and leaves there is another party. Seriously. It sucks. 

It's totally normal to feel like you want him to experience the pain you are having. All you can do is move on and accept it as over. Anyone who can lie about something so major is an idiot and cruel. Has anyone filed?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Atholk said:


> The character assassination of the betrayed spouse is standard operating procedure by a cheater.


Always. They have to paint you as the bad guy and demonize you in order to "justify" their leaving because "I cheated on my wife and left her for a new woman" doesn't go over so well with people.

Does C know his wife is in an affair with your husband??? If he doesn't, you need to tell him TODAY!


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Always. They have to paint you as the bad guy and demonize you in order to "justify" their leaving because "I cheated on my wife and left her for a new woman" doesn't go over so well with people.


there doesn't even need to be another person, but they need to make out they are the victim rather than the aggressor, I get that from my W.


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