# Went for a session with the former MC.....



## Dedicated2Her (Nov 13, 2010)

Yesterday I went in to see our old marriage counselor. She also does IC. She was so effective in my development as a man over the first year that I figured I needed some help to transition seeing that my divorce will be final Wednesday.

What she had to say to me was deafening. I spent the first 15 minutes catching her up on all the events. She really gave me an in depth perspective on my ex. What my boundries should be moving forward, and how I need to act when she tries to reengage me. She felt very confident that would happen. I just don't get how, but whatever. 

Her actual statement, "99.9 pct of women would have died to have their husbands do what you did in therapy. You should be supremely proud of yourself." So, the next question, "What do you want to get out of therapy?" I told her I wanted to be able to handle my ex without emotion, as businesslike as possible. We walked through the fact that my emotional attachment to my wife, or love feeling, is based upon someone who doesn't exists anymore. Personally, I would not date her. She is amazingly beautiful, like model type attractive. She doesn't have a job. Got food stamps to live off of and my child support. She works a little for cash here and there. She doesn't communicate and has trouble connecting emotionally. She can't deal with problems openly without attacking. 

So, here we are. I have to write a letter to the wife I knew three years ago, the woman who no longer exists. I have to write this goodbye letter to let her go. The person I adored is only a shadow after her miscarriage. I guess I had hope that she was still in there somewhere, but I can't have that hope. I'm stuck until I release that connection. 

Tomorrow is a ending of sorts. Closing the former chapter to engage a new life. I am eternally grateful for the last two years. I lived through emotional hell, but I am different now. I love myself. I realized that I am capable. I am a good man. I am a good father. I have become much closer to what I was intended to be in the first place. That gives me hope for a future. Maybe my ex does walk the path of regret and changes, maybe she doesn't. All I know is that her actions or non actions are no longer tied to my happiness or my validation as a man. I am at peace with who I am, where I am, and what I am becoming. Good luck to her, she's gonna need it.


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