# what is classified as cheating?



## Nanook (Nov 21, 2009)

My husband says he has not cheated on me, first I agreed, but now I am wondering. 
Do you have to have sex for it to be classified as cheating.
We are in process of seperation, long story. He has admitted to loving someone else, He says he has not cheated on me, but has admitted to cuddling, and holding hands, and allowed himself to emotionally fall for someone else.
Is this cheating or not?
Thanks


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Emotionally attaching one's self to another is cheating and in many cases can be far more damaging to a marriage than physically cheating.


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

You don't need to even have met the other man/woman to have cheated w/ him/her. Yur husband did meet, however, and it sounds like he cheated. 

That's not to say you need to divorce over it. My wife was into the thrill fo clubbing with strange men until 2:00 in the morning. She still doesn't think it was infidelity. I think it was. We're going to work it out (as soon as she gets out of her denial).

And Amplexor is right. Emotional infidelity can be worse. Forming an emotional bond can be considered worse than using a woman as a purely physical release.


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## cody5 (Sep 2, 2009)

Oh, I forgot. They only admit to the minimum. There's no way you can be sure it didn't go further.


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## Nanook (Nov 21, 2009)

It is not my choice to seperate, he wants to. But he still thinks he did not cheat. He says he loves this lady. 
Thanks, at least I do not think I am mad in thinking He has cheated, and it is classifeied as cheating.
Thanks


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## Lostandconfused (Jul 6, 2009)

Nanook said:


> It is not my choice to seperate, he wants to. But he still thinks he did not cheat. He says he loves this lady.
> Thanks, at least I do not think I am mad in thinking He has cheated, and it is classifeied as cheating.
> Thanks


Nanook, Of course you are right. It was/is cheating. He gave to someone else what he "vowed" to give only to you. That IS cheating. Wedding vows do not only pertain to the physical aspects of a marriage. The vows include, among other things, emotional attachment and desires that are specific to a romantic/spousal love.

He knows this. He's just trying to convince himself, and you, that he's innocent. He is not innocent. 

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Just my $0.02.
Lost


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Well ... you can certainly tell him that he has the mindset of a cheater. Lying, denial, minimizing, and blame-shifting are all classic behaviors.

It's simple. If you have an emotional investment in another person that you conceal from, and value over your existing partner - you're cheating.

Cheating is not the sum of a physical act, like intercourse. It is the sum of behaviors that a cheater uses to distance themselves from, and betray their partners.

Even simpler, you don't start a new relationship before ending the one that you are currently in.


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