# Husband going out with son's friend's and his mom



## bnm890 (Nov 15, 2012)

My husband brought my two sons for a outing. As planned, he met up with one of my son's friend. The friend had his mom with him as planned. My husband knew before making the plans that I couldn't go as I was cramming for an exams. I thought it was odd as I personally would not put myself in such a position. 

This is not the first time as he planning to go for an overseas conference only with another female colleague. He change his plan only when I objected. 

What o you think? Am I over-reacting? He forgot our anniversary and totally ignore it even though I reminded him. Instead he signed up for a marathon and went. 

We have been married for fifteen years. I should have seen the signs when we were dating, his late mom brought two of his exes to her restaurant opening day.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

This would not be happening at my house. If my husband went somewhere, especially overseas with another woman... I'd be out that door and filing for divorce. It's simply not okay. Nor would I fly out anywhere with another man.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

If you made it clear that this sort of behavior makes you uncomfortable and he still does it, then you need to make it real for him. As long as you don't he probably won't get it that it bothers you that much. And it seems poor situation awareness runs on the family with those exes there with you.


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## sweaty teddy (Nov 13, 2012)

if its uncomfortable for you and he loves and cares about you then if you ask him not to he should rearange it. If he mimamizes it then he isn't very vested in your happiness or well being.

time for a put your foot down moment. where you explain whats expected. and for both of you to put more effort into your marriage before its too late.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

bnm890 said:


> My husband brought my two sons for a outing. As planned, he met up with one of my son's friend. The friend had his mom with him as planned. My husband knew before making the plans that I couldn't go as I was cramming for an exams. I thought it was odd as I personally would not put myself in such a position.
> 
> This is not the first time as he planning to go for an overseas conference only with another female colleague. He change his plan only when I objected.
> 
> ...


Your post is a little bit all over the place...what is it that you're upset about, the friend's Mom, the forgotten anniversary, the overseas trip, or the late mother inviting exes to her resto? That's not your husband's fault, BTW...MIL's dead, the overseas thing got kiboshed (and rightly so) and all I can glean from any of this is that your H is selfish. That's the real problem.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Your post is a little bit all over the place...what is it that you're upset about, the friend's Mom, the forgotten anniversary, the overseas trip, or the late mother inviting exes to her resto? That's not your husband's fault, BTW...MIL's dead, the overseas thing got kiboshed (and rightly so) and all I can glean from any of this is that your H is selfish. That's the real problem.


:iagree:


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

You are not wrong with being uncomfortable with it and if I were you I would ask him to postpone it until you are able to join him. I would never allow my wife to go on an overnight with another "dad".


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## bnm890 (Nov 15, 2012)

Thanks everyone for your reply. I'm cramming for an exams. One of it is tomorrow. Yes I'm all over the place in more than one way.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

When you get a chance, some more information would be useful.

With respect to the outing, what was it? How old are your sons? Do you know the other woman? Any issues or concerns with her or how your husband interacts with her?

With respect to the overseas trip, was it for business? What choice did he have in attending and who he attended with? You say he changed his plan when you objected, which sounds like a good thing. So what specifically about it bothered you and why?

My guess is that there are other things going on here, but what you have given us is very thin and makes it hard to give useful feedback.


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## heavensangel (Feb 12, 2012)

More info is needed however I will say this: 

Neither H nor I would go/allow trips that included the OS without both of us present, period! Doesn't matter the excuse, all one of us has to do is mentioned we're uncomfortable - the issue is no longer an issue. This is called mutual respect for the others feelings. Marriages suffer dearly without it.


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## bbrad (May 30, 2012)

All they did was go to an outing? Big deal, in scouts and sports we do it all the time. It is good to know the parents of the friends your kids hang out with.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

Our Daughter has a friend that has to be dropped off for a play Date and my wife may not always be home. I also meet up for outings without my wife. My wife actually pushes me to do this so our daughter can be with her friends. So I spend a lot of time with the moms while the kids play. This is usually or a few hours, but it does allow me to talk about more things than I should. Nowhere close to am EA...


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## DiZ (May 15, 2012)

bnm890 said:


> My husband brought my two sons for a outing. As planned, he met up with one of my son's friend. The friend had his mom with him as planned. My husband knew before making the plans that I couldn't go as I was cramming for an exams. I thought it was odd as I personally would not put myself in such a position.
> 
> This is not the first time as he planning to go for an overseas conference only with another female colleague. He change his plan only when I objected.
> 
> ...


I would not be happy at all especially since he was able to change the plans after you objected. 

I saw red flags also and chose to ignore them. It is amazing how love blinds us to faults.

It also amazes me how a man could think that this was ok even after forgetting your anniversary.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I couldn't trust my partner to go out in public with my child, my child's friend, and that child's mom. But maybe that's just me...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SomeDamagedGoods (Nov 11, 2012)

PBear said:


> I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I couldn't trust my partner to go out in public with my child, my child's friend, and that child's mom. But maybe that's just me...
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:

A relationship has to be built on trust. If you are not comfortable with the arrangement, there may be more to this. Perhaps he has given you reason not to trust him or you would be tempted yourself in a reverse situation.


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