# okay new question ofr everyone!



## CPT CONFUSED (Oct 16, 2008)

okay heres a question for everyone BUT you can only answer yes or no and elaberate if you meet these 3 criteria your spouse has said 1) they dont love you anymore 2) they love you as a friend 3) they dont think they ever loved you and you were just a phase i think these are all excuses behind the real truth and i was wondering what you all thought? please respond and let me know of your experiances


thanks

CPT


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I don't know if I qualify to answer based on what you've said above but I have said #1 to my ex. It was not an excuse. I did not stray emotional or otherwise. The truth behind it was that for the previous 19 years I felt less and less loved and at that point honestly in my heart felt that he did not have the capacity to love me. Any kindness he did show felt forced to get something he wanted in return. It never felt pure and his promises to change never lasted. In my heart I really didn't think he had it in him and I could not picture living the rest of my life feeling sad, unloved.


----------



## CPT CONFUSED (Oct 16, 2008)

okay let me elaberate a little more on what was said in my confersation with my wife today swedish she told me all these things byt then said we were going to be exclusive to each other untill we either got back together or got a divorce and the paperwork was signed also said she would be pisse4d and crushed if she ever found out i was so much as even kissing someone else until everything was worked out wtf does that mean? not that i would ever do any of that because i stand behind the vows i made to my wife but it made me feel like she was hurt by the situation scared and not sure what she wanted how am i supposed to respond to that?



CPT:scratchhead:


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

To me it sounds as though she doesn't want to compound an already fragile marriage by adding 'seeing other people' to the list, because if you do work things out she doesn't want to deal with the aftermath of those thoughts. In some of your previous posts, you alluded that she may have another man in her life. If that's the case, she is basically saying she can do as she pleases and you must adhere to a different set of rules...that would not work for me...in fact, that would make me think 'she knows exactly what it would feel like if I went off with another woman, yet she has no problem putting me through that? I don't think so'


----------



## CPT CONFUSED (Oct 16, 2008)

you know im trying so hard to understand i really am people have said i have the pateniance of a saint right now but it is so hard sometimes i want to tell her to kiss my ****ing *******! but i know that wont get us anywhere i sometimes wonder where the hell i get the strength to continue this game becuase this is so out of character for me? i have seen a side of myself i never knew was there 



CPT


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I know what you mean. It's definitely a wake-up call when you are faced with the possibility of your family breaking up and it brings a lot of emotional feelings to the surface. It's good though because you are seeing a loving, caring side of you and that's a good trait to have no matter how things turn out...just make sure if she does want to work on your marriage, that she also has the same boundaries in place...we don't want to find you on your doorstep with 'WELCOME' tattooed on your belly


----------



## flipper66 (Apr 9, 2009)

dear cpt confused . 
i agree with swedish here.
most of my adult life i've had top contend with double standards. and that seems what she's(your wife that is) is saying to you.
one standard for her and another for you.
i can see by your post that your a christian it appears or have some grounding in christian life. 
however alot of times God has things planned out to give us something better. i'm not saying it couldn't happen(that being ,god gets ahold of your wife and changes her) i've seen it happen. however god has a tendancy to give us what we want if we ask. 
if not he sends us as i said before something alot better.

smile alot it will make her worry 
don't be down in the mouth and look sad clean up ,brush your hair and look happy (somewhat paraphrased from the bible)


----------



## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

I'm going to skip to the end here because I can't hardly take reading anymore of this.

You wife is Bipolar. You are taking responsibility for her. Stop it. Take care of yourself and let your wife **** up her own life but make sure you and your son steer clear of her destruction.

Your trying to convince and control a crazy person. They cannot help what they do and if they dont want to change they wont!

If not for your sake, do it for your children. 

Cluster B's are like this. Your dealing with a robot, they dont take responsibility for anything and they find someone to dump it on. They are also very horny but will never admit that they play a vital role in all the promiscuity the seek.

Your religion will not save you from a Cluster B Personality Disorder, I'm sorry. If you want to know what evil is....what she has is it. Pure evil. 

So in case its not clear....RUN.


----------



## CPT CONFUSED (Oct 16, 2008)

hey tim not to bag ya but your diggin on an old post from months ago look at the dates im past this point right now not raggin ya just giving you a heads up



CPT


----------



## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

CPT,

He now needs to decide and not post anymore, the forum is just abouncing board the flesh is reality.

A spouse to whom cannot decide will rehash over and over again until the demons of the soul take over. That is the worse thing to happen.

Tim, make your decision and post, we strong ones are here.


----------



## CPT CONFUSED (Oct 16, 2008)

will you guys please read the whole post before replying this is my post and its old old old please read things before replying thank you


CPT


----------



## reidqa (Mar 25, 2009)

CPT,

We have, and its time now son.

im past this point right now not raggin ya just giving you a heads up

So where are you now, please give us clarity.


----------



## CPT CONFUSED (Oct 16, 2008)

im not going to keep replying to a 5 month old post so this will be my last response to this thread now if you had so kindly read the at least half a dozen other posts maybe more that have followed this one in the last 5 months you would have know that she has already told me that all these things in this paticular post were sad out of her being pissed off at the time and that any of the questions or responses in this thread have no bearing right now because my problems have taken a turn in a different direction thanks 

CPT


----------



## CPT CONFUSED (Oct 16, 2008)

Amp can i please ask that you lock and delete this thread so it doesnt keep getting bumped to the top i just want to be fair and make sure that everyone here is able to get the advice they need and this topic doesnt need to keep getting hashed up its old thanks!


CPT


----------



## martino (May 12, 2008)

CPT, 

People are reading and replying to your past posts because it's your situation just as our past posts have affected where we are all at today. Regardless of which threads are located where, what she and you did before have affected where you are today. Maybe you should start your own CPT Confused forum where you can delete and edit the threads that make you feel better.


----------



## Tim (Mar 24, 2009)

Hey CPT. Just post a link to your most recent posts. that way we can direct any responses there. That will sorta close this thread in a way.
Does that help?


----------

