# For those that divorced a cheating spouse...



## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

Did you do anything to get revenge? I like the line out of Seinfeld where the best revenge is living well.

Oh there were a few things I could have done, but in the end I just didn't feel like bothering. Divorce was enough for me.

However, there was one, and it was a dish served cold.

After she moved out of the house, about a year later, she called me looking for certain things of hers, mainly pictures and stuff. The ones in question were mainly pictures of her younger years, proms, high school, etc.

When she moved out, she cleaned out things, and even took things she knew were mine, but she wanted. I tried to get them back, but no luck. And in the end, it just wasn't important enough to me to go back and forth with her. All I wanted was to not hear her s!ut voice any more than I had to.

So I told her that she had the chance to go through everything, made a mess, and told me that she had everything she needed, and that I wasn't going to rummage through the stuff I had stored to look for something she should have gotten.

Anyway, one day I was looking for something myself. Lo and behold, I found in the bottom of a box a bunch of her pics. Exactly what she was looking for. Prom pics, her younger years, etc.

So I gathered them up, and threw them in the trash.

Then I had a beer. That was the extent of anything that could be construed as revenge. Did it make me feel better? Hell yeah. She'll never get those memories back now.

Other than that little story, I had no desire to do anything publicly. The drama of it all just isn't worth it.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

No, why waste my time. Plus, I'm not one to cause any trouble to anyone. My ex was and is a serial cheater. He is also abusive and it was best to leave it alone. He ended up stalking me for about a year later after I left. He stole my drivers license and checkbook, took a credit card in my name and maxed it out. He thought it was funny and clever that he got away with it. He is such a jerk! I can't believe the girl who moved in 3 days after I left is still with him 17 years later. He's admitted cheating on her 3 times, but I know it's more then that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ishe? (Apr 1, 2011)

On the final dday after a 3 week false r, I found messages on his Facebook between him and his ow. I packed his stuff in black bags dropped them off where she lived and sent her a message wishing them a happy life. Then i changed his status to "ws is a cheating scumbag who has been f**king ow and lying to his wife and kids' and because I changed his password to get into the account he couldn't delete it right away... I think it was up on his profile (and hers -I tagged her) for about an hour! Hahaha still makes me happy to this day! 

That and getting on with my life is all the revenge I need 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

My ex-GF wasn't cheating (as far as I know), but she was quite immature and started acting like a real (insert horrible feminine moniker here)-doing things like calling me up and telling me how great her life was now, how many guys were wanting her now, and when I told her I didn't want to hear it, she'd taunt me with "Oooh...someone's getting mad and needs a time out!"

So...about a year later, she calls me up and wants me to send any pics I still had of her. So I went to friends, acquaintances, relatives, etc., and got all the pics of women I could find and sent them to my ex, with the note that I "couldn't quite remember which one she was, so please keep yours and send the rest back? Thanks!"


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## ishe? (Apr 1, 2011)

F-102 ... That's freaking hilarious... I love it!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lone Star (Feb 2, 2012)

So I gathered them up, and threw them in the trash.


I love that!


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

F-102, that was great!!!


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## NatashaYurino (Jan 2, 2012)

F-102 said:


> My ex-GF wasn't cheating (as far as I know), but she was quite immature and started acting like a real (insert horrible feminine moniker here)-doing things like calling me up and telling me how great her life was now, how many guys were wanting her now, and when I told her I didn't want to hear it, she'd taunt me with "Oooh...someone's getting mad and needs a time out!"
> 
> So...about a year later, she calls me up and wants me to send any pics I still had of her. So I went to friends, acquaintances, relatives, etc., and got all the pics of women I could find and sent them to my ex, with the note that I "couldn't quite remember which one she was, so please keep yours and send the rest back? Thanks!"


:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Badblood (Oct 27, 2011)

Revenge isn't something I'm interested in. For revenge to have any meaning, I would still have to care for her, and I don't.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Never cared much for revenge but I must say that living well and having a girlfriend way after the divorce was finalized, certainly hurt my ex-wife very deeply.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Never cared much for revenge but I must say that living well and having a girlfriend way after the divorce was finalized, certainly has hurt my ex-wife very deeply.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

No. I just want a divorce. 
I believe in karma and natural consequences.
That's not to say I didn't exert a lot of energy in being angry IN the relationship, mostly I took my anger out on objects, and in writing, the day after the rape when he was still making excuses for why he did it I punched him in the gut. I was really feeling crazy, for him saying what happened did not really happen, and I was really upset because if I was pregnant from what he did I would be faced with being linked to him for the rest of my life through a child, or having to go against my beliefs to get an abortion. After that I still tried to reconcile, so I would say at my heart I'm not a vengeful person. I might lose some control when faced with crazy-making behavior and reality-questioning words and actions, but revenge is some kind of choice that a person makes from a state of centeredness, and that is definitely not something that I would choose to do, because it would be deliberately doing something to damage my own soul. I think that is a sin, it's against my beliefs entirely. No way. That is only inviting evil into your life. It's best to invite it in for tea and entertain it until it gets bored and leaves. That is, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you would like to get revenge, but in reality, you cannot control the outcome of your acts because the world is not like some kind of machine, where an action can have the consequence of intent. Karma always sees to it that negative actions towards another do have the same or more impact on yourself. To think you have some kind of over-ride on that is a misplaced belief.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

The divorce took the house that was paid off along with the newer of two cars and every thing else. I got my pension and a few cloths and my hand tools which were over twenty years old.
Any to the stuff like photos and family stuff stayed at the house when I was told to leave. I imagine that whomever bought the house after it was sold by the bank for lack of payment dumped that sort of thing in the trash.
Wouldn't have it any other way.


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

I did have a HS sweetheart into the college years who ended up betraying me, all while still claiming to want to marry me.

So I ended it with not a thought of betrayal at all. I simply told her I don't want to ever see her or hear from her again and to at least respect that because she wouldn't leave me alone. 

So 3 years later, she is married. She heard of my grandfather dying and decided to send me a letter. She used my grandfather's death as an excuse to contact me when I made it clear i don't want to hear from her.

In the letter she also stated she wished things turned out different and we could have been together.

If it wasn't for me already grieving my grandfather's death, I'd have simply torn up the letter.

But I put it in an envelope, with a post-it note saying "tell your wife to leave me alone", and mailed it to her husband.

Never heard from her again.


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## Dexter Morgan (Dec 8, 2011)

morituri said:


> Never cared much for revenge but I must say that living well and having a girlfriend way after the divorce was finalized, certainly has hurt my ex-wife very deeply.


I completely agree. I don't want to ever bother with revenge. But in times where an X won't leave you alone, sometimes you have to do something that makes it perfectly clear. And it could be considered revenge.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

Dexter Morgan said:


> I completely agree. I don't want to ever bother with revenge. But in times where an X won't leave you alone, sometimes you have to do something that makes it perfectly clear. And it could be considered revenge.


I don't know if you remember the story of how last year I bump into my ex-wife out on the street and reluctantly agreed to go to a nearby cafe to talk because she insisted. After we sat down it was very clear by her demeanor that she was pulling all the stops for me to re-engage with her. I got up and said my goodbyes to her, when she pulled out a piece of paper, wrote down her phone number so that 'we could talk later' and gave it to me. I gave it back to her telling her that I could not because I was involved in a committed relationship. The look on her face was that of a woman who had just been sucker punched - I thought to myself "Nice feeling, ain't it darlin'?". Mind you that I was simply being truthful and had no intention of inflicting any emotional pain on her but that is how it went down. 

The karma bus certainly ran over my ex-wife without me giving it's driver directions to the whereabouts of my ex-wife.


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## disbelief (Oct 31, 2010)

Sometimes it seems that just continuing to be nice and in a good mood to simply put it is revenge enough on my WW.
And nice one 102
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lou (Apr 22, 2011)

The best revenge truly is living well! There are so many things I wanted to do to stick it to him but I just couldn't bring myself to his level. 

I told him that after our (my) lease was up I was returning to my hometown... He freaked out. He was furious that I made this decision without him, then he raved about how horrible my home city was, then told me the real estate was **** and I'd lose an arm and a leg... Then raged about how I never wanted to live in his hometown and how it made me such a miserable person. 

It made me smile how much he was trying to hold onto me, and still control the situation somehow. 

It feels great to take control of your own happiness! So empowering!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

lou said:


> It feels great to take control of your own happiness! So empowering!


Even more so when it is done without the intention of harming he/she who caused the greatest pain imaginable.


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

Hmmm...yeah I did a few things.....first one was changing his 'name' on his secret email account that I found. I changed it to something like 'Lets share STDS", And he emailed several women before realizing he had a new name.  Then I had his cell number reassigned to a phone that was in my possession.....had a nice long texting convo with woman he 'was just friends with' who kept calling 'him' pet names until 'he' (me) revealed to her that he likes to sleep with a lot of women ranging from 16 up and that he has cheated on every girl he has been with (yes all true). 

Next was the day his friends and ex-wife came to pick up his stuff....he was too scared to come himself. I had bagged it all in black garbage bags....and labled them appropriatly with names like; jigalo, cheater, rat bastard, and anything else I could think of. In addition I had taken any cards he had given me and writen on them with black marker confronting the obvious untruths about 'how much he loved me' and all that blah blah stuff. I had also taken his very secretly hidden porn dvd stash and scratched the hell out of them and also wrote on them about the interesting porn choices that I not new were so appropriate for him...ya know....the ones like barely legal, and stuff like that. >:|

Yes there is more! lol When he ended our marriage it was via text message...yep text message!!! So after a year and a half (months of being split up, then attempting a reconcile, then waiting for the divorce) I informed him that we were divorced via text message. He had signed the papers...but had no clue I actually filed! So it was a huge stunning shock to him and he was NOT HAPPY! 

Last....well mostly last....was everytime I found letters he had written to me about the affair and how sorry he was and how much he loved me and always would and how wonderful I was......I would put them in a manilla envelope and hand them directly to his GF as some more of his papers I found around the house. It was fun. 


Thats most of it. Other than that it has just been taking hold of my life and making changes that are needed to make a great future for my boys and I.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I divorced my cheating wife back in 1988, we haven't spoken since. Never got the chance for revenge even if I wanted to. Not once did she ever try to call or come back.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

I've heard of "the best revenge is living well" - I just don't know how true it is. You don't see it showing up in a lot of revenge plots. However, at the end of the day, it's not out of any concern for him, but I don't want being deliberately vindictive on my conscience. I wish I were the type of person who could gather all his stupid s&[email protected] he left behind and trash it, but it would bother me later, and turn me into the type of person I don't want to be. Maybe that would be better than being a moaning Minnie in private, though. I should get on that. Less crying and feeling ugly and pathetic, more trashing of his stuff. Hm...I like it.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

raising5boyz said:


> Hmmm...yeah I did a few things.....first one was changing his 'name' on his secret email account that I found. I changed it to something like 'Lets share STDS", And he emailed several women before realizing he had a new name.  Then I had his cell number reassigned to a phone that was in my possession.....had a nice long texting convo with woman he 'was just friends with' who kept calling 'him' pet names until 'he' (me) revealed to her that he likes to sleep with a lot of women ranging from 16 up and that he has cheated on every girl he has been with (yes all true).
> 
> Next was the day his friends and ex-wife came to pick up his stuff....he was too scared to come himself. I had bagged it all in black garbage bags....and labled them appropriatly with names like; jigalo, cheater, rat bastard, and anything else I could think of. In addition I had taken any cards he had given me and writen on them with black marker confronting the obvious untruths about 'how much he loved me' and all that blah blah stuff. I had also taken his very secretly hidden porn dvd stash and scratched the hell out of them and also wrote on them about the interesting porn choices that I not new were so appropriate for him...ya know....the ones like barely legal, and stuff like that. >:|
> 
> ...


Be my life coach please?


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## SomethingsUp (Sep 30, 2014)

I got revenge, I recorded him confessing to crap to prove he was a lying cheating bastard and anyone that he lied to about it that told me, I'd let them listen to it. I sent this letter below to his employer that cost him his job.

Here's the recording:

https://soundcloud.com/kate50-1/rick2

*January 8, 2015

To: The Board of Directors

Re: H's name – Alcohol and Drug addiction.


To whom this may concern,

My name is xxxxxx, I am xxxxxxx's wife, my reason for writing to you today sadly is my concern for my husbands health and welfare. My husband has a serious drug and alcohol addiction problem and I've tried to address this issue by myself with him as his wife but he refuses to get help for it.

He has been engaging in very risky behaviour that not only has jeopardized our marriage but both his and my health. While on a recent trip to Winnipeg with xxxxx for the Tru Serve buying show using company resources, he paid for the services of a prostitute and brought her to his hotel room. This was told to me by xxxxxx and then (H) finally admitted to this to me. I will provide proof of this in this email. There is a high risk of sexually transmitted diseases these days, so this caused me a great deal of pain and fear as his wife. He also put himself in danger.

Also, over the last couple of years, I've had suspicions of something more then just a working relationship was going on between (H) and an employee (OW) who worked with him in the office at the store up until April of this year, 2014. My reasons for this is (H) has had her to our home at Candle Lake two years ago while I was at work. I came home unexpectedly and found them sitting around drinking alcohol in our home. This is when it started, my concerns about their relationship. (H) assured me nothing was going on, so I let it go. Then fast forward to this past year (2014) and I noticed a big change in (H) behaviour in our marriage when he came home from up north.

He became secretive with his cell phone (leaving the home to talk on it), when I questioned him about this and asked to see his cell phone one evening he became belligerent with me after a short time of me looking through his phone he grabbed it back hitting me in the face with it, an argument broke out between us and I ended up calling the RCMP for assistance. This happened at the beginning of October, 2014 this year. They arrested (H) and took him to Nipawin for assault and kept him over night in jail, he has pending charges and a trial date set for March 11, 2015.

After this happened, a couple of nights later, (H) returned to our home, we talked and tried to figure out where to go from what had happened. That evening when we were both sleeping his cell phone began to ring at 11:30 PM and kept ringing till 1:30 AM (It was on a charger in another room). I finally got up and went to answer it, I missed the call and called the number back, the number was the Quality Inn and Suites in Prince Albert, I didn't know who to ask for so I hung up, I then brought his phone to our bedroom and it rang again right away from the same number. I put the phone on speaker and woke (H) up to answer, it was (OW) calling him. She said she wanted him to come to the hotel to see her. It is my understanding that she does not work at the store anymore since April 2014, I concluded from this event that this was more then just a working relationship at that time.

(I have proof of these calls on his cell phone bill).
After this event with (OW), I decided to call Sasktel and set up online viewing of our cell phone bills. The archives go as far back as of June, 2013. I reviewed the bills and there are multiple calls over days and months from (H) personal cell phone to (OW) home #633-xxxx right up until the evening mentioned above (These are outgoing calls from (H) to her). There are also calls on the cell bill to another hotel (The Confederation Inn) in Saskatoon that I discovered that are from January 2014. The calls started on a Saturday evening at 10PM from (H) to (OW) who was staying there (H was at Wollaston at the time). The duration of the calls are 56 mins, 18 mins, 19 mins late into the evening over a span of 3 days.

This is more evidence in my opinion of something more then just a working relationship as she was still employed at the store. When I confronted (H) about the calls, he said he can't remember what they were about.

There is a lot more things going on but I believe I've divulged enough already for you to clearly see that (H) has some serious problems that I know are contributed to his drug and alcohol use. He has been jeopardizing himself, his family and place of work with these behaviours. I care about him and I love him and I just want him to get the help he needs. I too am a recovering alcoholic, I've been to treatment lately myself because my drinking escalated learning of these things that (H) was doing. I went to xxxxxxxx Retreat by xxxxx, Saskatchewan, I've talked to the owner, xxxxxxx and she said she could intake (H) on January 12, 2015 for the 5 week program. It's an amazing treatment centre and after being there myself, I can tell you they work miracles. I hope you can help me get the help for (H) because he is a good man deep down that I'm sure you want back from his addictions along with our family.

Here is the website for the treatment centre:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Thank you for your time and for caring about my husband and father of our children, if you have any questions for me, please give me a call.


Sincerely,

Mrs. xxxxxxx
Phone: xxxxxxx
Cell: xxxxxxxxx



*I've included an audio I recorded to prove that (H) really needs our help. I wasn’t comfortable doing this but I didn't know what else to do. *



*I talked him into taking a lie detector test to get at more truth and he failed the 3 questions I wanted answers to.
*
I'll upload the results.

Here it is on this thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...sband-took-polygraph-yesterday-he-failed.html
*
THEN I LEFT HIM!!!!*

He lost his image, dignity, job, house (it's up for sale, he now can't buy me out and move in some tramp because he has no job lol) I have a job though! He lost me his wife of 25 years and......... His kids don't respect him anymore. Oh well, sucks to be him today!


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

The line 'The best revenge is living well' (supposedly coming from Seinfeld) is bull****. IMO, the best revenge is giving waywards some measure of the pain they cause back to them. That is NOT to say RA's. And, the same applies to the POSOMs/POSOW's too.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

*Zombie thread AHEAD!!!!! Great shot! Right between the eyes*


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## altawa (Jan 4, 2015)

Dogbert said:


> *Zombie thread AHEAD!!!!! Great shot! Right between the eyes*


That it is a zombie thread does not mean it is not a valid thread. If it was a user specific post that would be one thing, but this is more about an aspect of dealing with infidelity and see no reason not to explore it, zombie thread or not.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Not a zombie thread as long as nice Canadian ladies contribute.


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## SomethingsUp (Sep 30, 2014)

LongWalk said:


> Not a zombie thread as long as nice Canadian ladies contribute.


Hahaha, I'm here and Canadian.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

joannacroc on 03-27-2015 08:54 PM replied to by raising5boyz post dated 02-12-2012 04:59 AM *"Be my life coach please?"* A clear attempt to communicate with the dead and reanimate a long gone thread. *ZOMBIE SYMPATHIZER!!!!*


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Let's give this 2012 thread a chance to rest in peace. Please don't respond to dead threads.


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