# He can just stop without having orgasm?



## ccdaws (Apr 29, 2012)

Ok so by my other posts its clear my relationship lacks communication, full honesty etc. I am kind of naive even at my age (42) because I havent had that many partners....here goes

my partner takes Levitra..I know this cause I heard the vmail the pharmacy left. He never told me.

Sometimes he will go for quite a while during sex then just stop, kiss me and go to sleep. No orgasm/ejaculation etc Like Hello?? Isnt that uncomfortable for a man? Is it the meds maybe??

thanks


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

Ask him.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

I don't know if the meds have much to do with it. I have found with viagra though, if I take too much, I can tend to lose a little sensation and lovemaking can be sometimes difficult to end on a "high note". 

For me, if I'm having regular sex and I'm not very close to orgasm, I can stop with no ill effects later on. If I'm close and am somehow forced to stop for whatever reason, then I remain hyper horny and can sometimes get a case of the "blue balls". Same if I don't orgasm after about day 5 or so. That ache in the testicles tells me it is definately time to do something about it! It can get very uncomfortable!

But in general, as long as he's okay with it and not growing frustrated, he may have known early on or even before the encounter he was not getting there, and did it for you. This past weekend after not seeing my wife for 2 weeks, we were going at it like teenagers....several times the first night, and again the next morning. About mid-afternoon, she got horny as I was rubbing her leg, and we started messing around with me knowing I couldn't orgasm again so quickly. But I went ahead anyway because I wanted her to get hers. When she got hers, I stopped. And I was completely okay with that. She said "what, you're not going to finish?" I said "not sure if I could after last night, that was for you", smiled, and went about my day happy as a clam. Oftentimes giving when there's nothing in return is incredibly awesome when you love someone. 

If he says it's not a problem and he doesn't act frustrated, then be happy!


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

Why are you listening to your partner's voicemails?


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

I think you should just ask him. Is he stopping before or after you are taken care of? If after, maybe he just doesn't need the release. 

@sharkeey: If they have a landline, there's not much privacy. Can't stop the message halfway through. If it's on his cell though, that is different.


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

occasionallybaffled said:


> @sharkeey: If they have a landline, there's not much privacy. Can't stop the message halfway through. If it's on his cell though, that is different.


So do you listen to vm messages on his cellphone?


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## Aristotle (Apr 4, 2012)

Yes, I do the same. Not on any medication though. Sometimes it makes it more intimate to have sex just to be close to you wife, not to get off.

If that is something you do not appreciate, let him know. My wife loves it.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Oh hell even I being a young stud can't ejaculate to wifey's demands

And to be honest sometimes it's just nice to hold a warm smooth body with yours and sleep

Sex is overrated


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

as I get older it take longer and longer and sometimes marthon sex get too much if it ain't going to happen then I just say not going to happen. on rare ocasions my wife will complete the task with a hand job.


maybe offer him a helping hand if its taking him awhile.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

I can stop without an orgasm. It's not preferable, but it happens once or twice a month for me. We'll just go and go, but at some point it's best to stop and just be happy.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

ccdaws said:


> Sometimes he will go for quite a while during sex then just stop, kiss me and go to sleep. No orgasm/ejaculation etc Like Hello?? Isnt that uncomfortable for a man? Is it the meds maybe??


Is he stopping after you get off or he thinks he`s satisfied you?

I`ve done this when I know I have a long ways to go and the wife is already thoroughly satisfied.

There`s no discomfort.


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## SoWhat (Jan 7, 2012)

I have a thread about this. It generally takes me quite a long time. 
Sometimes I just know I'm not getting off that night.

Doesn't make me want to stop at all. However, I realize that it can get to be too much for some women, so I'll quit after a while. 

I don't think it's that weird. 
CCdaws: does it bother YOU at all?


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## ccdaws (Apr 29, 2012)

it does not bother me, no...I just wondered if it was not pleasurable to him. He has a hard time w communication which as we all know is essential in a good relationship. When I encourage him it is okay for us to discuss these things he acts childish and says "I know stupid" or something similar.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

ccdaws said:


> it does not bother me, no...I just wondered if it was not pleasurable to him. He has a hard time w communication which as we all know is essential in a good relationship. When I encourage him it is okay for us to discuss these things he acts childish and says "I know stupid" or something similar.


It shouldn't hurt, but I think at some level guys kind get a bit bummed if they don't O.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

ccdaws said:


> it does not bother me, no...I just wondered if it was not pleasurable to him. He has a hard time w communication which as we all know is essential in a good relationship. When I encourage him it is okay for us to discuss these things he acts childish and says "I know stupid" or something similar.


Physical pleasure...uhm, not a lot. I mean, it will start to feel good, but if we've already had a bit of sex in the day(s) preceeding, I pretty much know early on if I'm not going to "get there". 

There is a very real sense of pleasure and satisfaction though in being able to give her something she wants, when she wants it, even though I know I will not finish. I know she WILL take care of me once I've had time to recover. No anxiety about it for me, at all.


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

Why not just lube up your hand and say we are not done yet baby[or something sexy],I wanna watch you have that O and take it from there.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

dubbizle said:


> Why not just lube up your hand and say we are not done yet baby[or something sexy],I wanna watch you have that O and take it from there.


Because then I'll be in even worse shape for lovemaking that night or the next day! Oftentimes I do that, and we both like that a great deal, but sometimes a guy just needs to recover! Doesn't mean I can't give her what she wants! It is truly no skin off my back...well, except for what she scratches off!


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## dubbizle (Jan 15, 2012)

I was responding to ccdaws about what she can try with the guy she is with,just for something fun to do.


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Oh hell even I being a young stud can't ejaculate to wifey's demands
> 
> And to be honest sometimes it's just nice to hold a warm smooth body with yours and sleep
> 
> Sex is overrated


After all your sex related posts I cant believe I read that from you. Don't you do exhibitionism?


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## Havesomethingtosay (Nov 1, 2011)

ccdaws said:


> Ok so by my other posts its clear my relationship lacks communication, full honesty etc. I am kind of naive even at my age (42) because I havent had that many partners....here goes
> 
> my partner takes Levitra..I know this cause I heard the vmail the pharmacy left. He never told me.
> 
> ...


Is he doing all the work and you just lying there? Sometimes a woman too needs to work and a warm receptacle will not be enough. 

Are you at least getting yours?


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Meh, it's a job. Someone's got to do it.


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## IAMCIV (Nov 8, 2011)

Browncoat said:


> It shouldn't hurt, but I think at some level guys kind get a bit bummed if they don't O.


All the women who don't get to get theirs, just went "ughff... right in the gut."

I know that's not what you ment, but traditonally its the woman who doesn't get to finish and seems a lot of them feel there's no hope.

That being said, I love being able to take care of my woman and do not have to orgasm to enjoy a sexual encounter thoroughly. I just love the feeling of being the one who gets to make her cum. It's more pleasurable to give than receive.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

IAMCIV said:


> All the women who don't get to get theirs, just went "ughff... right in the gut."
> 
> I know that's not what you ment, but traditonally its the woman who doesn't get to finish and seems a lot of them feel there's no hope.
> 
> That being said, I love being able to take care of my woman and do not have to orgasm to enjoy a sexual encounter thoroughly. I just love the feeling of being the one who gets to make her cum. It's more pleasurable to give than receive.


I agree to an extent. When it's extremely rare to get an O during intercourse like it is for me... it becomes a bit frustrating. My wife would agree with me when I say that I probably O during intercourse about 5% of the time at most. Literally months go by most of the time for me.


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

ccdaws said:


> Sometimes he will go for quite a while during sex then just stop, kiss me and go to sleep. No orgasm/ejaculation etc Like Hello?? Isnt that uncomfortable for a man? Is it the meds maybe??thanks


For me, whether it is uncomfortable or not and if so, for how long, is highly variable. But over the years I have stopped short of orgasm for a wide variety of reasons. I've never developed a terminal disease from it. At most, there's a few minutes of discomfort while things "settle down". Sometimes there's not even that... sometimes I'm just legitimately done.

In general, because I get all the sex I want, I'm kind of like the guy who has stuffed himself at the banquet table. Sure, maybe that cupcake over there looks tasty but it's hard to get any serious drive behind it because I'm full already. Sex is like that for me. I'm well fed so any particular evening can end however it does and it really doesn't matter that much.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

Orgasm does not mean ejacultion! Men can have several multiple small orgasms that release the same sleep enducing Oxytocin that a big orgasm and ejaculation can. Just be proud that you're man lasts long enough and don't go looking for problems where there are none. And it's not you, it's him..... maybe he just doesn't want to feel more tired the next day. Post ejaculation sleep takes longer to enter REM state since the body needs longer to cool off and relax, and the drains on certain hormones and minerals mean less sexual vogor and erections for a while.


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