# Help!



## dwoods77 (Jul 14, 2012)

I need some serious help, I am at a loss as to where to go from here. I posted quite a while back before I had seperated from my partner of 10 years. The last 4 or 5 months has been hell probably for both but my situation is this. When I moved out of the family home i stayed at a friends house for 3 days. On the third day I went to my sons 5th birthday party and felt completely left out of it. Saying goodbye At the party something snapped inside me and I was seriously close to stepping out in front of a bus, actually stepped out but stopped at the last second and jumped to safety. I decided I needed help and took myself to the nearest emergency department where they admitted me into a psych ward. Spent 6 weeks there suffering terrible depression. Docs said I had been living with it for years unknowingly. I got discharged into a men's crisis hostel and made it through 3 days before I had an ambulance called on me as I was suicidal again. 

I spent 2 more weeks in there but felt much better when I was discharged and started back at work not long after. Just recently I have started feeling quite bitter and angry that I am left in this situation while the ex has the house and kids. I have asked her about mediation which she said she had started the process and that they would call me but I haven't heard a thing. Atm I can't see myself getting out of this situation at all as I am left with about $13k in debt, im in a homeless hostel, can barely stretch my money enough to get through each week and certainly not been able to save a cent in the last 2 months to get out of here. Today I had a visit with my counsellor and he told me to start standing up for myself as here in australia the mediation process looks at things in a 50/50 manner. My son is crying almost daily that he misses me and my daughter seems to be adjusting quite well but I feel like I have been pushed aside and I'm slowly losing my kids. My counsellor couldn't believe that I had been told to leave with nothing and expected to stay in a hostel while she is doing as she pleases with the kids. What really got my goat up is i found out from her that she got
$3000 the other day in govt handouts and has used it to book a holiday while all I want is to get into a place and be able to provide a stable place for my kids to come and have a meaningful relationship. Unfortunately after taking his advice and speaking to her about it she got really defensive and ended up having a big fight over it. I just don't know what to do any more.. Anyone else in australia been through a mediator? What should I expect and what happens if we can't sort it out?
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