# help me out tam family



## mike82 (Oct 24, 2011)

im really at a loss. not sure what to do. i was married for 7 years to my ex wife. 3 kids involved she had an EA. she pushed for divorce despite my trying to work things out. divorce was final in feb. me and ex wife went months with no real conversation about anything. i would always keep it very short the one day a week kids are exchanged. a couple months back i started dating a new woman. she loves me to death and thinks the world of me. my problem is im severly unemotionaly available, and have made this clear to her from day one. still she has grown on me and i have feelings but at end of day i could care less.im damaged from this hell, but she remains at my side. my relationship with ex wife has past the bitter stage. im friendly in our exchanges. this is best for my kids. my ex wife has a habbit of dropping by lately for stupid reasons. shes always offering to bring me this or that in things reguarding kids, and will ask me on my free days if she can run by our former house for what seems like dumb items. this woman was the love of my life. i still have love for her despite being ****ted on. sometimes i feel as though she is almost getting a free pass with me engaging in conversation with her. part of me feels as though she should lose me in every faucet in life.that me being her friend is how she eventually saw things playing out, i almost feel like im making things her way like shes thinking " i knew things would calm down and everything would be ok". part of me wants to never say a word to her, and make her realize im gone, that im not your buddy.its such a tightrope. i need opionions. am i better off keeping it very short with her, or am i better off being friendly with her. even when im short with her im not mean, just indifferent. i hope oneday she realizes leaving me was a mistake. what do you all think is the better angle for making her realize this, being short, or being friendly? i know that i am a great guy, i can easily replace her, its my family being broken which hurts me. i know i shouldnt care what she thinks and just move on with my life, but theres always a part of me that wants her to feel regret of letting me go. her mother cries when she sees me. she knows how much i loved her daughter and my kids.she knows its rare. she thinks her daughter will regret this. iguess what this whole post boils down to is this " i wouldnt be mean or disrespectful to ex wife, but i feel like being friendly and engaging in conversation with her is making this whole process easier for her. thoughts PLEASE.


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## InTheBedIMade (May 20, 2012)

As long as your miserable she will never wonder if she made the right decision. My suggestion is to take your time, cry it out, and then live like there's no tomorrow. Women are just not attracted to miserable guys, and whether you want her back or not, do whatever it takes to get a smile going. 

As far as the new one goes, I think you did the right thing by letting her know that you're not emotionally available. Don't take advantage of her though. I met my wife of 16 years while I was emotionally unavailable due to my first divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

You need to minimize comunication with your XW pronto. Just tell her not to contact you directly rather through email/texts(only about kids, nothing else). Even then don't respond to her instantly, let her wait for few hours and eventually she'll back off. But you need to do this soon as I don't see how your current gf will last much longer.


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