# Credit Cards



## EmmyC (Aug 26, 2010)

Hello,

My husband and I have been married for 18 years and we are happy. My husband and I are very different in the way we do things. He is messy, unorganized, and does not pay any attention to details. I am pretty much the opposite. When we first got married a long time ago, he was in credit card debt because of some poor life choices that he made before he met me. I have never been in credit card debt my entire life. Therefore, when we got married, we decided that I would keep our financial books due to my meticulous bookkeeping habits.  It has worked out really well and I have not minded at all. 

A few years ago, my husband decided to get a joint credit card as it offers rewards from his favorite store. I don't like that store and I never use the credit card. We already have another joint credit card which I am very happy with so I always use that one. I also keep every single credit card receipt so that when the bill arrives, I check every single charge against the receipt. As a result of not being overburdened with too many receipts, I try to always have enough cash on me so that on small purchases under $10 I don't put it on the card. My husband is the complete opposite of that. He never has cash on him and charges everything, no matter how small, onto his credit card. His receipts are everywhere - in his car, on the nightstand, laying around the house, in his pants pockets, etc. Therefore, when it comes time for me to verify his credit card bills, it is a nightmare trying to find all his receipts.

I have even given him a labeled envelope for him to store all his receipts and it still did not help. After many arguments over how it is really hard for me to verify his credit card bills, he told me he would verify them himself from then on. Problem solved right? No. Right now, his envelope is about 4 inches thick with hundreds of receipts and months of credit card bills that he never verified. So we've just been paying the cards every month hoping that there were no fraudulant or inaccurate charges as he never checks them. 

Our finances are all tied together. We only have one shared banking account where all the income goes to and the bills get paid out of. Therefore, if there is a fraudulant or wrong charge, then it's also MY money that is being affected. My husband is just messy and disorganized and it's never been his habit to be organized about his receipts. I really don't know what to do here because a wrong credit card charge affects both of our money. What do you do when you are married and one spouse is not meticulous about verifying charges and the other spouse is??

Thanks in advance for any advice!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hm... it sounds like you can collect the receipts that you find laying around. So you have at least those. 

Where did he keep the envelope you gave him to put the receipts in? Have you tried putting something in his car for receipts. Since it's probably where he is immediately after his buys something.

Some stores will email receipts... Homedepot and I think Loews does this. I like that becasue i scan in all financial paperswork. It saves me a step.

Another thing you can do is to check his charges daily for a while. That way you can check with him on a daily basis. If you can ID some charges that are of his making, you might be able to convince him that receipts are important. In the last couple of years I've had some charges that I did not make. One was a $350 cash withdrawal. There were two charges on one card .... one charge in Maine (the state) at a cafe. And shortly after that someone bought a $250 Eurail pass in Germany on my card. I was able to all 3 of these off my card because I acted fast. I live in New Mexico. How could I be in Maine and Germany within 2 hours making charges in all 3 places?


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

We don't verify charges. We look at the credit card to look for things that appear incorrect. I know that probably isn't the best practice. What you are doing is much better.

Do you find many mistakes when verifying your credit card each month? Just curious.

For my opinion, I think you should try to go back to him saving the receipts and you verifying. His way is worse. At least you were verifying as best you could. It isn't hard for him to stuff the receipts in his wallet each purchase and empty the wallet once a week. The hard part is doing the verifying which you are willing to do.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

The way I verify is I have my card set to send me text whenever a charge is made. Not sure if that would work in your situation but may help.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

There is no easy fix for this because he has a different personality and different thoughts on finances. 

Here is my take on it: I think you need to forget about all the old receipts and start fresh this month. I'll give background on why I say that. 

When I wanted us to get on a budget years ago, I asked my husband to put it together (he has the Business degree, and had wished he had majored in Finance, not just Business. My degrees are in totally different areas than business which I find booooring!) He didn't do it. He was bogged down trying to figure out a budget using old credit card bills.

After 6 months and no budget I decided to do it myself.

I looked at the electric bill, mortgage, bills, etc. and then asked a friend who budgeted how much she budgeted for food per person. For other categories (clothes, car repairs, etc.) I simply guessed. It was a starting point and we tweeked it each month until the numbers were realistic.

In your case, take that huge envelope and write on it "September 2018 and before" and put it in the filing cabinet where you store receipts, just in case you ever have to find a receipt because of a false charge during that period.

From here on out, give him a fresh envelope each month, and switch it out every month, so you are only reconciling one month's worth of credit card receipts.

Is he overspending because of his use of the credit card?


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## FieryHairedLady (Mar 24, 2011)

Have him log into the cc website every few days to verify expenditures.


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

I don't verify each individual expenditure amount. I just go through the statement, and make sure there aren't any charges I don't recognize. I feel justified in this, as my mother is very meticulous like you are, and use to review every charge every month. I asked her how many incorrect charges she ever found, and she couldn't remember ever having found one.

Perhaps you should consider how much time you spend on this, contrasted with how many errors you find, and determine whether you're wasting your life.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

WOW you are organized and dedicated. I am pretty organized, but I can say I have never checked my statements with receipts, I just pay the bill. But in my defense the way my wife spends it would take me a month to verify every purchase. If I were you I wouldn't get too crazy about it as long his spending is within reasonable limits.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I never keep receipts unless I need them for a work reimbursement. I look at the items on the statement to see if they roughly make sense.


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## MaiChi (Jun 20, 2018)

When the money has gone in. Put a little of it in a separate account and let him deal with that with his card. Agree a limit on the overdraft and daily max withdrawal. Then He can do what he likes with that account without making you frustrated. 

We have a limit of 200 Pound each to play with per month. I Its like petty cash with a debit card and no overdraft allowed. It is possible to save some months. We have not had credit cards since 2009 and it works very well.

I have never kept receipts on this account either. It is rare that I need receipts for anything but I do check accounts online regularly to see that transactions a genuine.


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## anonmd (Oct 23, 2014)

Does he have a smartphone? Can you get him to use the phone to record and categorize (could be as simple as every card use goes into "Misc. Card expenses") every time he swipes the card? 

I'd recommend trying You Need A Budget - YNAB, www.youneedabudget.com , free trial for 34 days then there is an annual fee of $83.99. There are associated mobile apps available for IOS and Android. You enter your income when paid, budget every dollar out to categories, then record your expenses on your phone when you are out and about. If you are in Home Depot for instance, open the app, tap the credit card account, tap add transaction. Most of the time it'll fill in Home Depot as the vendor since it uses the phone GPS. you tap in the amount spent and choose the category. For him just budget a chunk to "Misc. CC expenses" and tell him to choose that. Once he saves that transaction it'll move that amount from the budget category up to the credit card line for your payment. Every day the program links to your account and imports the activity - it'll automatically match what he entered with the charger at the banks. You or he just check off approved and you are done. If a charge comes in and does not auto-match he was either lazy and didn't enter it or it is some monthly auto-payment, or it is fraud.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You aren't going to change who he is. My H has filled a bedside table, 2 drawers of his dresser, one whole kitchen counter, and a complete 4-shelf cabinet in the kitchen with his papers and receipts. He just keeps shoving stuff in there. He tried to start taking over a second cabinet and I told him no. But if something needs filed, it has to be me. IIWY, I would just get in the habit of cleaning out his pockets and his car every few days and organizing it all on your own.


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## thefam (Sep 9, 2014)

You really are wasting a lot of time with that verifying receipts thing. Set up all the cards to text you for every transaction. Then if you haven't made the purchase you know right away. Do the same for his card. If you do feel the need to verify against the statement they are in the text thread in date order. 

Even without doing that you could check both of your charges on line daily. Waiting until the end of the month to verify is not very wise with as much fraud and card hacking as there is today. 

To cut that paper only deal with cards that will email your receipt. Most of them will these days. The email comes immediately. Organize your email in folders to automatically send the receipt to that store's folder name. Get hotmail if your email account doesnt have this feature (most of them do)


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