# I badly need ur advices..please!



## kelly (Jan 26, 2010)

my husband doesn't want me to go work..and now he got a business and he earns money..and the sad part,,he doesn't share want he had,,he also gets my money if i do have,,he will tell to me that i should not have a money cause ill just spend it buying things that are not necessary..in my part it's so unfair..i want to earn also in my own way,,i don't want to rely on him..

please do answer my problem..i really don't know what to do.. thanks..


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Why do you let him do that? 

Just say no. 

Keep your money somewhere else than in the house, if you have to.


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

1st how old are you and how long have you been married and are there any children..

ok with that said, i stayed home for 15 years because of children and it just was cost effective for me not to work... but i still had money "of my own" or money i did not have to account for every penny i was working hard raising the family.

2nd sounds like a control issue and put your foot down now.


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## dsfg_lover_001 (Jul 4, 2010)

Well I know how you feel,why don`t you have a talk with him,I mean a deep talk.And why your husband dont want you work.Let him know that you are a independent woman.I agree that you should go out to work.Anyway this is my opinion,thanks for sharing.


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## aw5756 (Jul 9, 2010)

My husband used to be really extreme about that too. He wanted to be in charge of holding onto all of the money. When I explained to him that it made me feel too dependent having to go ask permission to use some money that I earned to buy myself something I wanted, he understood it a little better. he even agreed to give me half of what ever was left after all bills were paid so that i could feel a little more independent and have some more freedom. Explain to him that it is an issue of pride, which should not be looked upon lightly because diminished pride=0 self-confidence and less self-esteem.


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## bleedingheart (Jun 3, 2010)

Unfourtunatly from my experience, and my first thread: ( this is how my situation started , almost the exact same way, and when I got my first job , he tried to tell me how to spend or give it to him... ect . Try as much as possible to nip this in the butt now. Try talking to him first, If that dosen't help, if you have a good pastor , family or a close friend confide to them. Also do your best to try to set some income aside for yourself. My situation is pretty grim right now , and I wish I had someone to offer me support and advice before it got to this point. Somtimes these are the first signs of a controlling abusive relationship. Everybodies situation is different , but there are certian patterns to watch out for.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

Your situation is a sign of a mentally abusive relationship. You are made to be dependent so that you have a low self-esteem and can be easily controlled. I have a friend who has gone through this type of relationship for 18 years. She finally woke up and went to get her degree in higher education teaching. As far as the husband is concerned, this schooling is better than a soap opera. The wife is actually tooling for a career that will make her financially independent. As soon as her eldest steps into college and she gets her degree and land a job, she plans to exit her marriage. This marriage has taken a toll on her mentally and physically. So have a care.


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## lovelieswithin (Apr 29, 2010)

It's a control issue. He likes controlling you. Demand independence or get out. Controlling men are often abusive too. He needs counseling rather than playing babysitter to his wife which is ridiculous.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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