# I'm a mess, read my other post on depression ruining my marriage for background info



## Lorraine M (Apr 26, 2011)

Lengthy, please, please bear with me I'm so concerned...I met with my family doctor about my blood pressure, was really high before, thankfully it's dropped to high normal. Then I brought up my husband since he referred him to a pscyhiatrist after my hubby's appointment regarding "my" drug use, and personality change and felt I was trying to kill him. Well, Easter morning husband went to ER again after yelling at me for not taking him for flushing and warmth. I tried to tell him to get a cold drink and take a cool shower it was probably med related - they agreed, and he withdrew all day until evening, even with meds. Monday, so-so, Tues and Wed wonderful with the exception of his frustration over no sex drive on meds and he tried to prove himself if you know what I mean and I complied. He is seeing a psychiatrist whom I met once and found my husband was blaming me for everying, the psych seems to be that everyone needs to come from the school of yes, I can't give in on money because that has been a hot topic since meeting and control issues with it. Now with my husband's endorsement, approval etc., I got him a room at a boarding house for his escape and me to feel more secure in the morning. Again, he was all for this and it was his suggestion with docs agreement time apart could reduce stress. He didn't go, wasn't comfortable, tonight he tried to say I kept him from going, my daughter said last night was the first night I told him if he wanted to stay home I understand because of really bad storms. Middle of the night he came to our room from guest room and started telling me the cell phone "I" got (he got it, the exact same as his old phone) was a kids phone, he lost his texts and pics - always happens with new phone and if I wanted a divorce that was fine. The D and S words again. I tried to be calm but woke with one heck of a migraine, sick and literally shaking. I can't take it anymore. I'm lucky if I'm sleeping 3 hours a night. This was supposed to be a non-negotiable, a good nights sleep for us and ability for him to do what he needs without disrupting the house. Today he was all over the map, coming home from work, leaving for hours, moody, nice, going back, having someone at work finding apartments for him, no matter what I suggest it isn't good enough. So, I'm done, he's on his own, but he's not sleeping here. I called the psychiatrist because my doc said despite HPPA I have a right to know if I'm in danger or my daughter is and to tell him the fam doc said he actually was in some sort of psychosis (which another poster said and was right on) and felt he should be inpatient and that he was almost fooled by my husband's complaints about me and he's known us for years, my husband neglected to tell him about the thrown and smashed pc, the broken closet door. IN the mean time the psych called my husband instead of me to ask if it was ok to talk to me. Later after discussing further living arrangements my husband calls the psych like they were friends and asks if a room or apartment woudl be better, the doc asked to speak wtih me, I told him why I called and he said he hasn't seen this behavior in my husband, there is improvement in his behavior, I need to keep things calm, don't make rash decisions???where did he get that from, I'm not divorcing him, I was under the impression we were having our time apart to help hubby heal and possibly "date" again as things progres? He also said getting a place is husband's decision and if I don't feel safe then I need to get out or call the police that anything might send my husband over the edge  He wasn't aware my husband took the credit card so I have no where to go but possibly a friends. I grew up with a mother who drank, I know what walking on eggs is, I'm doing it, but life is still here, a teen who mouths off, dogs who bark and out of the blue, I found a month to month lease on a furnished apartment but it's more than what we can easily afford right now, I don't like debt but am of the mindset you need to do what you need to do to get better so use the credit card that has a large line and use that strictly for rent. It's a really nice place close to his work and our home but at this point he says we need to refinance to make money easier. How the heck do you handle that without conflict except to say yes and I won't? Was it manipulation because it is a hot topic? I won't put credit card debt under our mortgage, we are at the tail end of a 15 year mtg, there is a 2nd mtg but after first is paid off that can be hammered... I appreciate patience with anyone reading this but I am so burned out and desperate for advice. I feel like the psych is believing I'm a control freak and causing more harm to my husband and I'm not but he's not here for the day to day interaction and only hearing one side and I'm not calling the police as he suggested and embarrassing him when he's not doing anything overtly dangerous, just aggressiveness and forgetting what happened later. HELP Please


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