# Did i do right thing?



## kiwigirl (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi its been about 10 months since ive visited this place, i was tryin to decide if i should leave my husband bcause id lost my attraction to him. I did leave and we hav been seperated for 9 months nw. I got a new partner pretty soon afterwards but my sadness over my old relationship hasnt gone away, i never stopped loving my ex but felt like we cudnt fix things, l8ly ive been feelin extra sad about the whole thing i can see lots of areas i went wrong and things i could of done better, bt nw i dnt knw wat to do my knew partner is an awesu
Guy and i dnt want to hurt neone i jst feel like ive managed to screw up my whole life and dnt knw hw to fix it, sumone plz help 
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## Shamwow (Aug 15, 2011)

Sorry to hear your situation. Have you and your husband continued to talk during the separation? And is a divorce in process? You left because you lost attraction for him...has that changed? Haven't read your previous thread yet, but my first thought is it isn't over til it's over. But unless you and he have changed for the positive and agree to work on it together, odds are you will end up separated again.
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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

KG, I read your old threads... I too want to know the answer to what Shamwow asked, did your ex ever become attractive to you again? How is the attraction with your new BF? If you weren't able or willing to be attracted to him, then yes you did the right thing. Either way, I believe it was him that finally asked you to leave? So it resolved the way it had to. What is more important is not dwelling on that which you cannot change, you owe it to your new relationship partner to put your effort into that relationship, and continue to try to understand how you lost your attraction to your ex, because if it something to do with the way you are wired you have only swept the problem under the rug - if you are not already getting IC then its always a good time to start.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

This happened when I left my ex.

It went away after a while...it was still an awesome decision on my part.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I believe your mistake was assuming that your happiness was attached to a man. You traded men but you were still unhappy. We are responsible for our own happiness and when we aren't happy (content) the problem is almost always within ourselves. You have to make peace with yourself and learn to love yourself before you'll be at peace with any man.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Kiwi--did you cheat on your spouse with the new guy? 

Whether you did the right thing or not is irrelevant--because you already did it.

My advice is to stop seeing the new guy. You aren't over your marriage yet and it looks like a divorce hasn't even been filed.

You are grieving. Decide whether you want the marriage or not and go from there.


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