# Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths



## barbados (Aug 30, 2012)

Hear these terms a lot here when describing certain WS.

20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You | Thought Catalog


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## jennatorturor (Aug 20, 2016)

ty!


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I thought this was another Hillary thread.

Never mind.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Very interesting.

Do you think someone who exhibits some, but not all, of those behaviors is necessarily narcissistic/sociopath? And if someone does exhibit some of that behavior what does that mean, really, if you married them? Are they irredeemable?

For example, my H is very sarcastic and uses insults to create humor. He actually is quite funny a lot of the time, and has a lot of friends who really like his personality. And some friends who really like him but don't "get" his humor. In my case, it used to be that 90% of the time if he made a comment to me it was a joke and I was the butt of it. 

When I finally stopped pretending like I didn't mind and started telling him I don't think it's funny and it makes me feel bad, he apologized and appears to be trying to change. He's gotten much better and I appreciate it. But he still does it a lot and often when I say something, at that moment he replies with another tendency from the list - he tells ME to "relax" and "It's just a joke" and "you need to chill out." That infuriates me. Now I just say, very seriously "I don't enjoy that humor and it makes me feel really bad." or simply "I don't find that funny." (Or I reply sarcastically myself and say "If you're joking around then why don't you try saying something that's actually funny.")

Anyhow - he never "rages" or "picks fights" and he is not a mean person by nature. I just that is his personality and if he's not making a sarcastic joke he won't have much of anything to say, and he's suffering thinking up all this witty commentary and not being able to use it on me.

I guess what intrigues me is that when I read articles like this, the person I am reading about seems like a monster. Like surely THEY know they are an A-hole. And when I read posts on here from someone dating or married to someone like that, it seems as clear as day that they should dump them now and never look back. But the people I know in every day life who exhibit some of these behaviors just seem much more complex and less clearly "bad."


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Everyone exhibits some narcissistic, etc., traits to some extent at some time.

The only people who claim they don't are the actual narcissists, etc.

In fact, if you read those descriptions and say "OMG, I do that! Does that mean I'm an xxx?", that is a sure sign that you aren't.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Yes, my STBX/WH used most of these tactics on me. I knew early on (after marriage) that something was “off” about him but I thought it was just emotional immaturity. Wrong. He was finally diagnosed as covert narcissist.

Of the 20 behaviors, the only ones *he did not display *were the following: 

11. Stalking.
12. Love-bombing.
13. Preemptive defense.

He is very intelligent so his mastery of “word salad” would make my head spin. It’s been 2+ years of no contact (except legal necessities) and I am just starting to feel “normal” again.


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

Never met a sarcastic person who wasn't mean by nature. It's a way of not showing open contempt by coating a gibe in humour. A cowards route.


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## MAJDEATH (Jun 16, 2015)

Definitely describes my fWW's OM2, I think he hit every one of these traits. Why she was involved with him for 3+ yrs, I'll never know.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

EunuchMonk said:


> Never met a sarcastic person who wasn't mean by nature. It's a way of not showing open contempt by coating a gibe in humour. A cowards route.


You've never met a competent sarcastic person, then 

Both me and my younger daughter are master sarcastics. We are not mean, we are people oriented and overall social butterflies.

Most people think they're sarcastic. Few actually are.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

john117 said:


> You've never met a competent sarcastic person, then
> 
> Both me and my younger daughter are master sarcastics. We are not mean, we are people oriented and overall social butterflies.
> 
> Most people think they're sarcastic. Few actually are.




Perhaps the Monk was thinking of sardonic "humor". Even that can be funny in the right context, though. Dennis Leary comes to mind.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

I think a lot of people confuse the terms. Generally speaking, I interpret it this way:

Sociopathic cheaters are indifferent towards hurting you. (ie they cheat for their own reasons and it doesn't bother them as long as you don't find out.)

Psychopathic cheaters take pleasure in hurting you. (ie they get off on betraying you because it increases the "thrill" factor or rush from the risqué behavior.)

Most fall into one of these two categories. Virtually all cheaters are narcissists. The act itself is narcissistic by nature being that it's completely selfish and about them.


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