# How can they move on so easily



## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

So, just 3 and a half months after the divorce, Asshat is now living with a new GF. How is it that he can move on so easily from 15 yrs with his wife? I mean, not that he ever cared about me anyways, but still. How can they move on so easily? Why is that we are left trying to pick up the pieces, mend everything and struggle to even find ourselves and they just move in with someone new as if all our years together never happened?


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## Eli-Zor (Nov 14, 2010)

They are still on denial and trying to make out life is wonderful. The karma bus will come, when he least expects it, it will be one of many dark miserable days in his life. The girlfriend is a fool so pity her, what he did to you he will be doing to her. 

Don't give him any airtime in your brain, the best form of revenge is ignore him, look good , and take on the world .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

apple:
Didn't you mention that your ex is a narcissist? 
They can move on because they have to, they need supply. Mine moved on when we were still married because I was onto him and he knew things were coming to an end. He devalued me and discarded me and had seduced OW with the same lines: soul mate, I love you (immediately after first date) all the red flags. Poor thing has been married for 45 yrs. Did that stop this narc? NO. He needs to feed.

Now it is time for you to move on. I know it is difficult and painful. But if you want your new life to begin, you must take that first step. It gets easier. I have gone NC for 30 days. I ignored his three attempts at contact. I know we will be getting 2 checks back in both our names (and that is his ace in the hole for re-contact) but the money is not worth getting in touch. I am not going to do anything with those.

I started a new career/school full time. I am getting more and more excited each day and the past is fading. Yours will too but it takes work. Do it. YOU ARE WORTH IT!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It will crash. Believe me.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Yep, fantasy world, the grass is only greener there because they are the one holding the crayon. When he wakes up from his daydream reality will set in again, and he likely will continue to repress the memories of the good things he shared with you in order to cope with his choice. I feel sorry for the misery that waywards will have to continue putting themselves through in order to live with their choices... it may not seem as intense as what the betrayed feels, but is guaranteed to be with them always.


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

It seems so fast and easy for them because they have been practicing for it while we have been faithful. Hell, I'm not divorced yet and my stbxw already has a boyfriend of over a year. It seems so fast to us because they jumped the gun and got a head start. However, our future will be based on solid ground, not the shifting sand of lies and deceit. The tortoise and the hare comes to mind.


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## Craggy456 (Feb 22, 2011)

Maybe because sometimes the fog never lifts. my stbxh was married once before and I have to wonder if he re-wrote history with that one, too. He's always said to his multitude of gf's that "She can't get over her jealousy" It's more like "I can't get over your numerous affairs".


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## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

Great question Apple, you read my mind. I am soon to be divorced after 30 years of marriage, my stbx filed for divorce 34 hours after I discovered her affair that I had no idea was even going on! Offered R three times she has refused each offer, the last time with a "thats not something I want to do." We have three children thank god all are adults, she was a stay at home mom, we have a nice home and a nice life, and it was about to get even better, money issues fading fast. I just dont understand myself how she could just throw away our marriage so easily, seems to not be a problem. the answer given that she has planned for awhile, new to me seems to be a good answer. I believe that they the Cheating Spouse are flawed individuals, obviously their word means nothing so maybe that is why it is so easy. If only I KNEW that someday she would regret the harm she has caused, she would regret her choices, that would make it easier for me. As for now I just work towards moving forward, I do believe I will be better for it, I have already changed so much and it is all good. The answer could be, "They are not you or me" we cant/wouldnt do this. As my counseler said, "K...who would you rather be, your stbxw, her boyfriend, our you?" That snapped me right out of my funk that day. God Bless you.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Some people are like that. What's over is over.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

hoosier: My ex seduced ow that is married for 45 yrs! She is risking that for a narcissist. She doesn't even know what she is in for. I pity her. For the narc- just becoming glad that he is no longer in my life and grateful that ow took the bait.

Karma is awful. I have experienced it myself. What you give so you get that applies toward good works as well. That is the truth.


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## Whip Morgan (May 26, 2011)

Apple, you can call it karma or whatever you want, but its going to come around for your ex soon. I can't fathom that their relationship is anywhere near healthy. 

Go read the post "triggers" by Wingsoflove. She continued to lie and deceive her H (and TAM posters) even after exposure. Now she is seperated - she got what she had coming to her, some call it karma.

Focus on taking care of yourself will help you find Mr. Right when you're ready. Thats good karma.


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## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

My ex is like that, and she is sooo much like her mother. It is just in their wiring.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Hi Apple :: waves :: 

*How can they move on so easily?*

Because They already emotionally detached. 

Did you read that Brad Pitt comment he made recently (it's all over the internet) --he said how boring/pathetic he was feeling and attributes it to his marriage...he said he was "pretending the marriage was something it wasn't." 

He had been far removed for awhile. "They" did not value the marriage or see it the same way the left behind spouse did. 



AppleDucklings said:


> So, just 3 and a half months after the divorce, Asshat is now living with a new GF.


Your husband is a special piece of pie(hole). He has had a few affairs by now and isn't even hooked up with the one who caused you all the distress towards the end. He has the Peter Pan syndrome. Badly. Goes from woman to woman never feeling satisfied. And what kind of woman wants to move in with a man who just got divorced 3 months ago, esp. when it was due to adultery? Says a lot about her. And him.

Apple, the very best thing you EVER did was get rid of this fool and divorce him. He wil prob do this for the rest of his life.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

What JB said, at least in my case. By the time I had my affair, my marriage had been over for awhile already in my head. I had already gone through the grieving process for it and had checked out. Unfortunately, I was an asshat, and communicate that with her. Not something I'm at all proud of.

It had nothing to do (again, speaking of my case) with the grass being greener, or being in a fog. At least, I don't feel it did, and I think I can look at it fairly rationally.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Eli-Zor said:


> They are still on denial and trying to make out life is wonderful. The karma bus will come, when he least expects it, it will be one of many dark miserable days in his life. The girlfriend is a fool so pity her, what he did to you he will be doing to her.
> 
> Don't give him any airtime in your brain, the best form of revenge is ignore him, look good , and take on the world .
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I do pity her. I give them all loving nicknames. I call her poorass cuz I feel sorry for her poor ass. She's just 22 yrs old and she has no idea what she's in for.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Sparkles422 said:


> apple:
> Didn't you mention that your ex is a narcissist?
> They can move on because they have to, they need supply. Mine moved on when we were still married because I was onto him and he knew things were coming to an end. He devalued me and discarded me and had seduced OW with the same lines: soul mate, I love you (immediately after first date) all the red flags. Poor thing has been married for 45 yrs. Did that stop this narc? NO. He needs to feed.
> 
> ...


I do believe he is a narc. He has never been clinically diagnosed as one but from books and online articles I have read about narcs, it describes him to a tee. And, I am also in school full time, working towards a new career that I am looking forward to.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> I call her poorass cuz I feel sorry for her poor ass.


:rofl:

Oh Lawd, she's only 22? Yeah, she is going to be in for a rude awakening.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

that_girl said:


> It will crash. Believe me.


Oh, I believe it. Even though he has shacked up with this new 22 yr old (and he is 35) I know it will all crash. Right now, she is all young and trusting because she has no idea of his history and you can bet your butt he did not openly tell her, "Hey, I'm a lying cheating, manipulating, scheming asshat who mentally, verbally and emotionally abuses those around me. Wanna date me?" Nope, she has fallen for his lines and the image he portrays. She has no idea who the real him is. In fact, I still believe asshat to be involved with fatass (the skankasaurus he was cheating on me with before)


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

AppleDucklings said:


> skankasaurus


:rofl:

Old Mr. Webster has nothing on you.


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> :rofl:
> 
> Oh Lawd, she's only 22? Yeah, she is going to be in for a rude awakening.


JB, in case you missed it, here's the story of Asshat, Fatass, Dumbass and Poorass http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/30624-so-mad-7.html#post419275


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## AppleDucklings (Mar 27, 2011)

HurtinginTN said:


> :rofl:
> 
> Old Mr. Webster has nothing on you.


 I love words that are fun


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