# Talk to me about SSRI's and libido...



## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

DH was on Effexor for a couple of years..was weaned off of it last fall took last pill mid December...to date still no signs of libido returning. It is frustrating because we are trying to heal from an EA he had last summer and this is not helping. He has zero sex drive and we are both concerned because being off of the medication for 6 weeks already he feels exactly the same as when he was on it.

I find myself getting depressed about the situation...


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

My H is in the process of weaning off Paxil. He is also on meds for blood pressure, which thankfully, has returned his BP to normal (Coversyl). After one week of 5 mg; there is improvement. Eveything still works, and he's having less trouble acheiving an E, but still, there is no 'drive'. Our MC advised us to NOT have sex...try and build up some desire, I suppose.

Early days for us, though. But I am hopeful.

In your case, the EA may be having something to do with it...did you effectively deal with it as a couple, or did you just try move past it (rug sweep)?


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

No, I don't think it has to do with the EA. He said he has no desire at all...he said even checking out porn on the internet has no appeal for him, he has zeor interest in even looking at that stuff. I think he is worried that this could be indefinite...I don't blame him I worry about it as well.

Everything we checked out sounds so variable..some get it back right away and others it can take months or even years to recover. (yikes!)


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Google this and see what you find:

off ssri libido not returning


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Does he exercise?

M H doesn't - except for walking to the train and back - it makes him kinda sluggish about EVERYTHING. He knows he needs to get moving, but it's tough.

Our therapist says we should be doing everything else but; even if we don't feel like it, to try and reconnect. I find that hard, though, because I've lost interest somewhat myself! But it'll come back, I hope!


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Thanks...I looked thru some of those sites.

I guess the main thing is to be patient and not put any pressure on him..he mentioned that he feels like I am putting pressure on him and I guess at times I do. I imagine for a man that is not a good thing to have pressure...

I have to keep up with the affection in a non threatening way I guess and just wait it out.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

How old is he? Does he have other symptoms, falling asleep after work, stress, brain fog? Does he masterbate? If he can not acheive and erection with masterbation and has no interest in sex (even looking at some porn), his testosterone could be teetering on the low end. Men with normal levels will crave sex when they have a build up- after days & days - they will need a release. 

If he does get those morning erections (great sign), then it could be "Performance Pressure".


Here are some things to do naturally to raise Test levels : 

How to Increase Testosterone Levels Naturally

.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Yeah.. I wouldnt rush right out to the 'buildng testosterone' webstes.

If I read you right, he has been off Effexor for a bit more than a month. Seems like a good suspect to me. Give it some time, and talk to the doctor about it if you are worried.

The Effects Of Effexor On Male Libido | LIVESTRONG.COM


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Effexor btw has the shortest metabolic halflife of all similar drugs. It can metabolize in 7-11 hrs. This means that once a day dosing is problematic. The patient will be crashing, a lot. Doctors should be telling their patients to split the dose in half and take it twice a day. 

Moreover, and while your experience may vary, Effexor (Venlafaxine) is becoming known as a second or third defense option. It is extremely powerful for more chronic and deeper modes of depression. As a result it tends to be selected when other drugs don't work or conk out. But the reason it's not a first line option is because of some of the weirder side effects like the extremely rapid metabolic breakdown. Another problem with Venlafaxine is (from my own experience), it's the dreadfully worst and hardest of the SSRI/SNRIs to quit. Lexapro, Celexa, Paxil are like Pez in comparison.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

highwood said:


> DH was on Effexor for a couple of years..was weaned off of it last fall took last pill mid December...to date still no signs of libido returning. It is frustrating because we are trying to heal from an EA he had last summer and this is not helping. He has zero sex drive and we are both concerned because being off of the medication for 6 weeks already he feels exactly the same as when he was on it.
> 
> I find myself getting depressed about the situation...


Patience. And understanding. 

I was on Celexa for three years, at a fairly high dose. My libido went from very high to nearly all gone. This was a mixed blessing. By taking the edge off of everything, I was able to see clearly and realize that I was in a bad marriage and took steps to get myself out. Libido-wise, before Celexa, I had been wanting sex nearly daily, and since my ex and I rarely had sex, I was doing it myself almost every day. I never had performance issues of any kind. Six weeks into Celexa, it was like a switch was flipped and my libido plummeted. Click. 

The issue is that once I extracted myself from my marriage, and thought about "romance," I found my libido was gone. It was a real bummer to find out *I could not even do it myself*. I nearly wore myself out trying, really. Nothing worked right. I could get hard, and go soft just as I would begin to feel I was ready to finish. I'd ejaculate without orgasm, with or without any firmness. You name it, it behaved oddly. 

Despite all this, I began to go out. I met my soon to be wife, and my shrink prescribed ED medicine when I said I'd never had a problem before the Celexa. The stuff worked to keep me hard, but I'd never finish, and I felt nearly nothing. It was pretty cool, and, overall, intimacy felt great, but I felt as if I were wearing a granite condom. 

After we were together about six months and I grew tired of the numbness, I began the delicate process of getting off of Celexa. (zaps, etc). It took a couple of months to dial down. 

I was off it for several months before I was able to "finish", but even then, it was rare. 

Over a year later, I'm *still* having difficulty finishing about one-third of the time, and my libido has returned. While I no longer take the ED medicine, the whole thing is still hit or miss. 

A very patient, understanding, and creative wife has helped me survive this very uncomfortable situation. It IS difficult from time to time when one or the other of us gets frustrated or if we feel we can't please each other. 

And, my wife has taught me the beauty of taking time, and to stop treating making love as a goal-oriented activity. In other words, we enjoy all the intimacy, and don't place demands on each other.


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## highwood (Jan 12, 2012)

Thank you all for your replys.

It is frustrating however I have realized that too keep nattering and bugging him about it is obviously not going to help anything. I think pressure is not good..I am going to lay off for a while and see what happens in the next couple of months. It is a strange situation for us as dh always had a strong sex drive and now nothing...


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