# If I Can't Accept You at Your Worst, Then Maybe You Should Stop Being So Horrible



## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Sorry stole the headline from this article please take a moment to read. The TLDR version is: 

*"It's not OK to be selfish, impatient, and out of control. These traits, while common, are UNacceptable. They should not be accepted, least of all by the people you claim to love. The onus is on YOU to change your behavior and your attitude, not on them to "handle it." Are you such a gem that they should thank God for the opportunity to be emotionally abused by you, if only it earns them a chance to bask in the glow of your superiority?*" Direct quote from the article.


What are your thoughts on this? I always cringed when I saw that quote especially from friends on Facebook. Why should people and society in general accept bad character traits? Why should the onus be on us to accept it EVER in the guise of "nobody is perfect"?


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

I don't have anything to add, but that is the funniest thing I've seen all day.


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Interesting article. I believe we all have flaws, make mistakes, and nobody is perfect, but true, I don't think rude, stupid behavior should just be dealt with. 

This may be a little different, but I have two bosses, one male and one female, one principal and one superintendent, that are the nicest people anyone could ask for. There is no dread in going to work, everything is dealt with with common sense, they are very caring(their philosophy is "family first," meaning if you have a family emergency, that takes priority over work. 

Nobody walks over them because of their great personalities, but they get the job done that needs to be done with happy people all around them.

This tells me that rudeness and a fist of steel is not necessary when being in charge; it may be one method, but not necessary. I believe it is due to leadership skills that I can't even explain, but the skills are there. I believe people who try to lead rudely lack superior leadership skills. 

So, I really can't accept anyone at their worst, if worst means their rude side, because it isn't necessary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H85APaXrJ_Q


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

southbound said:


> Interesting article. I believe we all have flaws, make mistakes, and nobody is perfect, but true, I don't think rude, stupid behavior should just be dealt with.
> 
> This may be a little different, but I have two bosses, one male and one female, one principal and one superintendent, that are the nicest people anyone could ask for. There is no dread in going to work, everything is dealt with with common sense, they are very caring(their philosophy is "family first," meaning if you have a family emergency, that takes priority over work.
> 
> ...


People like your bosses should be admired and thanked constantly. Trust me I have had my fair share of bad bosses that tried to use abusive bully tactics to get things done. One in particular forced me to go down to HR to report him. Things quieted down once I showed him I was not putting up with it.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

it all levels out in the long run.

if someone really acts like take me as I am or too bad then give them what they asked for.

people who get this just start avoiding people who act rude and have this attitude. 

people like this never have any long term good friends because people with good character make friends with other people with good character.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Thanks for that. I have always HATED that quote. Any time someone cites it it's a red flag for me to run fast in the other direction.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

John Lee said:


> Thanks for that. I have always HATED that quote. Any time someone cites it it's a red flag for me to run fast in the other direction.


Funny thing is imagine you go into a job interview and tell them:

1. I'm habitually late.
2. I tend to rage and yell when not getting my way.
3. My way is usually, not its always the best actually.
4. If you can't handle me at my worse, you don't deserve me at my best! 

"Ok thanks for coming, we will call you. Bye now."


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

I agree with the quoted material. We should not volunteer for abuse. On the other hand, there are some people who can be oversensitive. I have been one of them. 

Learning to accept others, flaws and all, while taking care of me has been a challenge in my life. But I never tolerated abuse for very long, just the same.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

KathyBatesel said:


> I agree with the quoted material. We should not volunteer for abuse. On the other hand, there are some people who can be oversensitive. I have been one of them.
> 
> Learning to accept others, flaws and all, while taking care of me has been a challenge in my life. But I never tolerated abuse for very long, just the same.


I've been called "overly sensitive" after objecting being called an "ugly mfer". Yes I guess being a man is being ok being called this and other imaginative expletives.

PS: For the record, I'm a good looking mfer. LOL


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Sanity said:


> I've been called "overly sensitive" after objecting being called an "ugly mfer". Yes I guess being a man is being ok being called this and other imaginative expletives.
> 
> PS: For the record, I'm a good looking mfer. LOL


Aye, and that's the other side of the coin. Both a person who is truly over-sensitive AND a reasonable person who is not over-reacting are both likely to be called that, huh?


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## Kria (Aug 4, 2013)

The worse in "for better or for worse" should be taken out of marriage vows then or at least be explained in detail.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Kria said:


> The worse in "for better or for worse" should be taken out of marriage vows then or at least be explained in detail.


The worse in marriage vows means something totally different than the "me at my worst" in the quote referenced in the OP.


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## Kria (Aug 4, 2013)

John Lee said:


> The worse in marriage vows means something totally different than the "me at my worst" in the quote referenced in the OP.


There is no explanation in the vows of what worse means so it can mean anything to anyone. That explains why a lot of people especially in decades past have stayed in some of the worst marriages because they thought it was their duty to do so.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

Kria said:


> There is no explanation in the vows of what worse means so it can mean anything to anyone. That explains why a lot of people especially in decades past have stayed in some of the worst marriages because they thought it was their duty to do so.


I think it's pretty clear what it means from the context:

"for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health"


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## Kria (Aug 4, 2013)

John Lee said:


> I think it's pretty clear what it means from the context:
> 
> "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health"


Those are just opposing words with no frame of reference or examples which leaves it open to interpretation.


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## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

Kria said:


> There is no explanation in the vows of what worse means so it can mean anything to anyone. That explains why a lot of people especially in decades past have stayed in some of the worst marriages because they thought it was their duty to do so.


My late grandpa who I loved very much was married to a bipolar, high conflict woman. I honestly avoided her as much as possible as she was constantly causing drama. 

Grandpa coped by staying outside and hanging with us. I have no doubt my grandma loved her husband but she was so dam difficult to deal with.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I hate that quote, I'm always tempted to respond "yes you phycob1tch I am sure everyone will want to deserve you at your best, so we will put up with your tantrums for now and wait to see!".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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