# Girl’s Night Out



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

I always encourage my wife to keep in contact with her friends. Over time, a number of the moms from the same daycare (along with others) started going out. They usually go out to a restaurant or bar and have drinks and talk. I have always encouraged my wife to do this.

Is this a good or bad idea for married women?


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> Is this a good or bad idea for married women?


It really all depends. My wife goes out to dinner regularly with a GF, it’s usually never more than 2 or 3 hours and she is home early. I know where she is because we both have our phone GPS on. So I’m comfortable.

However if it was a regular night out with a bunch of women, dinner and bars or dancing later, it’s a non-starter for me. If she insisted on going, then she could count on “spot checks” at a minimum, or maybe endangering the marriage. I wouldn’t be beyond preventing her from going.


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

CraigBesuden said:


> I always encourage my wife to keep in contact with her friends. Over time, a number of the moms from the same daycare (along with others) started going out. They usually go out to a restaurant or bar and have drinks and talk. I have always encouraged my wife to do this.
> 
> Is this a good or bad idea for married women?



Good, I would have thought. But depends what kinds of bars and what kinds of friends. And how many drinks. 
It’s important to cultivate and keeping friendships going...note to self.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



The Middleman said:


> It really all depends. My wife goes out to dinner regularly with a GF, it’s usually never more than 2 or 3 hours and she is home early. I know where she is because we both have our phone GPS on. So I’m comfortable.
> 
> However if it was a regular night out with a bunch of women, dinner and bars or dancing later, it’s a non-starter for me. If she insisted on going, then she could count on “spot checks” at a minimum, or maybe endangering the marriage. I wouldn’t be beyond preventing her from going.


Wow, you don't trust her at all. GPS on??? Spot Checks??? that's not at all healthy. My g/f is on a girls weekend right now and I'm totally cool with it. It is with her mom, aunt, and best friend but still I think it's healthy to have fun with other people to keep a relationship healthy. She also goes out one night a week with her girlfriends and they typically grab drinks and dinner. I trust her and she never goes dark if I message her.

One of her good friends husbands, is no longer allowing her to go out and it's causing all kinds of problems to the point that the g/f is now lying and saying she has to work late so she can sneak out for an hour or so. That is not healthy and creates resentment.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

My wife has a circle of friends who do this regularly. Dinner and drinks is fairly common and a full weekend away happens a couple times a year. I have zero problem with it and encourage her to maintain these relationships. We have zero trust issues. 

I will add, though, that the drinks are at nice places that aren't known as meat markets. Usually the drinks are actually as the same restaurant where they had dinner. They are almost all married 50- and a few 60-somethings. I've met most of them at events that include the husbands. They're solid.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*

Let's take a look at what I really said. 




> *It really all depends.* My wife goes out to dinner regularly with a GF, it’s usually never more than 2 or 3 hours and she is home early.


I have no issues with her going out to dinner with a friend or friends. She does it often and I'm OK with it because I know who she is with, where she is, and what she is doing. If I'm out (always business) she knows where I am, and with whom.




Talk2Me said:


> Wow, you don't trust her at all. GPS on??? Spot Checks??? that's not at all healthy.


 I said we both have our phone GPS's on. I can "stalk" her, and she can "stalk" me. It's a safety and peace of mind thing. I don't use it often, but I do sometimes. I'm sure she does, but I don't ask.




Talk2Me said:


> My g/f is on a girls weekend right now and I'm totally cool with it. It is with her mom, aunt, and best friend but still I think it's healthy to have fun with other people to keep a relationship healthy.


 Back in the day my wife would go away for weekends with her sisters once in a while, and I didn't have a problem with it because I knew where she was and who she was with. Mutual respect and boundaries. BTW: I've never gone away alone or with the guys. Only traveled for business.



Talk2Me said:


> She also goes out one night a week with her girlfriends and they typically grab drinks and dinner. I trust her and she never goes dark if I message her. One of her good friends husbands, is no longer allowing her to go out and it's causing all kinds of problems to the point that the g/f is now lying and saying she has to work late so she can sneak out for an hour or so. That is not healthy and creates resentment.


Well you can do what your comfortable with and it's cool. What I was trying to say is I'm not comfortable with bars and similar social settings where there is alcohol around and the possibility of connecting with men is high, like clubs. That situation is a deal breaker for me, and that's where I said she can count on "spot checks" if (in the remote chance) I were to agree to her going. Those are my boundaries. Call me old fashioned, but I don't leave things to chance and give an opportunity for **** to happen.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> I always encourage my wife to keep in contact with her friends. Over time, a number of the moms from the same daycare (along with others) started going out. They usually go out to a restaurant or bar and have drinks and talk. I have always encouraged my wife to do this.
> 
> Is this a good or bad idea for married women?


As with all things it can be good or bad, depending on many details. From what you described, it sounds good. My wife who is 69 has a number of older women friends. Some are widows. Some have husbands in dementia or assisted living situations. Her going out with these friends in a mental health life line for them.

I also encourage my wife to go with women friends for dinner and a drink, as long as she is safe to drive and doesn't stay out till the wee hours of the morning.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> I always encourage my wife to keep in contact with her friends. Over time, a number of the moms from the same daycare (along with others) started going out. They usually go out to a restaurant or bar and have drinks and talk. I have always encouraged my wife to do this.
> 
> Is this a good or bad idea for married women?


I guess it all depends. Are they driving their mini vans to the local watering hole and wearing their best mom jeans? You should be just fine if that's the case. :grin2:


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## MyRevelation (Apr 12, 2016)

Oh, Hell NO!!!!

Once burned and all that. 

Possibly an occasional dinner at a nice restaurant, but regular nights of drinking in a bar ... not and stay M to me.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

It's fine to have women friends.

IMO, mature women friends go to dinner occasionally. Or maybe we hit the local flea market. Or we all go to Judy's house to fill birdseed bags for her daughter's upcoming reception.

They dont go out partying, getting blasted, and dance with strange men.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

It all depends on who the friends are and where they are going.

Do the friends flirt with boundary crossing? Do they have a very loose interpretation of cheating (i.e. kissing, feeling eachother up or oral sex isn't cheating)?

After dinner, will they go to "Da Club"?


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

I should also add that my g/f is 26 years old and very attractive. I know guys hit on her or try to. She cuts them off immediately and I know this for a fact. When she's out with her friends they are very stand-off-ish but I still don't have a problem with it. They don't go to sleazy bars but a local restaurant where they get dinner and drinks and stay out until 10 or 10:30. It's also 5 min from our house so if I were to ever have an issue I could be there in minutes but I never would. 

I also go out with friends whenever I want. It's called being in a healthy and trusting relationship. If she were to start putting limits on it then things would go downhill fast. Jealousy is an UGLY THING.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

Talk2Me said:


> I should also add that my g/f is 26 years old and very attractive. I know guys hit on her or try to. She cuts them off immediately and I know this for a fact. When she's out with her friends they are very stand-off-ish but I still don't have a problem with it. They don't go to sleazy bars but a local restaurant where they get dinner and drinks and stay out until 10 or 10:30. It's also 5 min from our house so if I were to ever have an issue I could be there in minutes but I never would.
> 
> I also go out with friends whenever I want. It's called being in a healthy and trusting relationship. If she were to start putting limits on it then things would go downhill fast. Jealousy is an UGLY THING.


Dear, your judgment from on high is highly unattractive, especially considering your own predilection for using your gf as a sex toy so you can deal with her past.

Compared to that, I think wanting your spouse to have boundaries is much healthier.

When you grow up a bit, you'll get it.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



personofinterest said:


> Dear, your judgment from on high is highly unattractive, especially considering your own predilection for using your gf as a sex toy so you can deal with her past.
> 
> Compared to that, I think wanting your spouse to have boundaries is much healthier.
> 
> When you grow up a bit, you'll get it.


HAHAHAHA you're funny. Keep being controlling and insecure and see where that brings you. Good luck.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I'm not controlling and in secure at all. My husband does whatever he wants. Plays in a golf tournament, ghost fishing, goes once or twice a year for a weekend of camping with his high school buddies. I go to lunch with old friends, go to dinner with coworkers who are female. We both trust each other. I just respect him and myself enough not to be an idiot.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

My husband and I are almost the exact same age, because he doesn't need imature arm candy to make him feel like a man.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

I personally dont have an issue with it. The way I figure is if someone wants to cheat, they will. I try and keep myself out of situations that could lead to temptation. I don't have the ability to make sure my wife does the same. I just trust that she will. 

All that said, we are both home bodies and rarely go out anyway. If I go out, its usually to my buddy Tony's house because he and his wife throw some of the most banging Sunday night football parties you've ever been to. They are those people who LOVE hosting and bought a house just for it. They're Indian, and we all know how they roll. Their entire extended family is there and the food is out of bounds! We're talking massive spreads of all kinds of grilled, fried, baked, broiled, and bbqed goodness. They must spend $3k minimum on these parties. His brothers are rich and throw in. It's always a blast until about 4am Haha. Bunch of friends and family hanging out, drinking and getting fat together. Who wants to go to a bar after that?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



personofinterest said:


> I'm not controlling and in secure at all. My husband does whatever he wants. Plays in a golf tournament, ghost fishing, goes once or twice a year for a weekend of camping with his high school buddies. I go to lunch with old friends, go to dinner with coworkers who are female. We both trust each other. I just respect him and myself enough not to be an idiot.


I always wanted to try ghost fishing!>


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Mrs. Conan could do anything she wants as long as I'm convinced she is safe.

Her loyalty to me is uncompromising and has never been in question.

She doesn't drink, ever, because she can't handle it and in nearly 3 decades, she has only taken a sip of my drink about a dozen times over the years so there is no way for her to be at risk with a compromising situation.

She is solid and takes her vows to me very seriously.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> Mrs. Conan could do anything she wants as long as I'm convinced she is safe.
> 
> Her loyalty to me is uncompromising and has never been in question.
> 
> ...


 Exactly. It isn't a control issue. It is a maturity and character issue. If you want to stamp and wine and demand your right to go out partying, the problem is not with the controlling spouse, the problem is that you are a big baby


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## pastasauce79 (Mar 21, 2018)

Since we were dating 17 years ago, my husband and I had our own social lives. I went out with my girlfriends to eat or dance (Latin music) and my husband was always ok with it since he's not into dancing. I've never done anything to be disrespectful to my marriage or my husband. I also go back home every year and I stay there for about 3 weeks at the time, I visit friends and family. 

My husband has his own friends from high school. He goes out to bars, concerts, etc. He goes to music festivals with them. He has traveled around the world to see other friends as well.

I don't feel jealous when he goes out or when he's traveling on his own. I don't have a problem when he plans stuff that doesn't include me. I understand he needs time alone to hang out with his friends.

We don't go out every weekend, we spend a lot of time together as a family and at home. 

I cannot be married to someone who thinks that's "letting me" go out... I am a free individual who chooses to be married and go out to have fun while respecting my boundaries and my marriage. 

I love my husband because he feels the same way. 

We have friends who have to ask their spouses if they are allowed to go to concerts or bars. That feels so weird to us. 

This is a recipe that has worked for us for 17 years. 

Good luck!


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



lucy999 said:


> It all depends on who the friends are and where they are going.
> 
> Do the friends flirt with boundary crossing? *Do they have a very loose interpretation of cheating (i.e. kissing, feeling eachother up or oral sex isn't cheating)?*
> 
> After dinner, will they go to "Da Club"?


This couple with the bachelors party thread and to me its so sad/crazy that this even has to be added to posts sometimes.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Before we were married one of my wife’s friends was having a bachelorette party in Vegas and my wife didn’t go. To be honest she never even mentioned it to me. 
On of her other friends asked me why I stopped her going. My answer was she didn’t ask my permission. 
When I asked my wife about it she said “ Only single people or people who want to be single go on Vegas weekends”.
Neither of us had a bachelorette/bachelor party. We prefer to party together. And in private lol.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

I trust my wife. I trust her if she has drinks, or is in a bar where people hook up. If I didn't I wouldn't have married her. Jailer has never been one of my career aspirations. 

I have been out late drinking w/o her on occasion, and cheating on her didn't seem any less self destructive than any other time


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



personofinterest said:


> My husband and I are almost the exact same age, because he doesn't need imature arm candy to make him feel like a man.


He doesn't need arm candy, but he has it anyway.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> personofinterest said:
> 
> 
> > My husband and I are almost the exact same age, because he doesn't need imature arm candy to make him feel like a man.
> ...


Ha, he thinks so. I forbid him to ever get better glasses lol


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## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> I should also add that my g/f is 26 years old and very attractive. I know guys hit on her or try to. She cuts them off immediately and I know this for a fact. When she's out with her friends they are very stand-off-ish but I still don't have a problem with it. They don't go to sleazy bars but a local restaurant where they get dinner and drinks and stay out until 10 or 10:30. It's also 5 min from our house so if I were to ever have an issue I could be there in minutes but I never would.
> 
> I also go out with friends whenever I want. It's called being in a healthy and trusting relationship. If she were to start putting limits on it then things would go downhill fast. Jealousy is an UGLY THING.


So is infidelity.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



personofinterest said:


> My husband and I are almost the exact same age, because he doesn't need imature arm candy to make him feel like a man.


Love that you take can't help but throw shots. If your husband had the opportunity he would gladly swap you out for some arm candy given your insecurity and and harshness towards others. Have a great day.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



skerzoid said:


> So is infidelity.


I've never met a group of people that is so untrusting as I have on this site. Infidelity will happen only if you're with the wrong person. The more you try controlling someone the more likely they will sneak around.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> I should also add that my g/f is 26 years old and very attractive. I know guys hit on her or try to. She cuts them off immediately and I know this for a fact. When she's out with her friends they are very stand-off-ish but I still don't have a problem with it. They don't go to sleazy bars but a local restaurant where they get dinner and drinks and stay out until 10 or 10:30. It's also 5 min from our house so if I were to ever have an issue I could be there in minutes but I never would.
> 
> I also go out with friends whenever I want. It's called being in a healthy and trusting relationship. If she were to start putting limits on it then things would go downhill fast. Jealousy is an UGLY THING.


The only way to know for a FACT, is to be there watching (stalking) her or monitoring her conversations. So, while you may have trust, you have NO IDEA what your gf does outside of your line of sight.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> I've never met a group of people that is so untrusting as I have on this site. Infidelity will happen only if you're with the wrong person. The more you try controlling someone the more likely they will sneak around.


bwahahahahaa you got me, I'll move on before I earn another ban......


Hahahahaha "the wrong person" hahahahahaha

Thanks, I needed a good laugh...........


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## MyRevelation (Apr 12, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



phillybeffandswiss said:


> The only way to know for a FACT, is to be there watching (stalking) her or monitoring her conversations. So, while you may have trust, you have NO IDEA what your gf does outside of your line of sight.


Especially considering his gf’s past and their dysfunctional relationship (as he’s described it) ... he’s just confirming his lack of relationship maturity, regardless of his calendar age. Unfortunately, he’s likely facing a lot of future heartache.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Talk2Me said:


> I've never met a group of people that is so untrusting as I have on this site. Infidelity will happen only if you're with the wrong person. The more you try controlling someone the more likely they will sneak around.


I have the same view. I’ve never had a woman divorce me, cheat on me, or mistreat me. I guess that our experiences color our judgments.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> I've never met a group of people that is so untrusting as I have on this site.


LOL you do realize this forum is called Talk about Marriage, right? And the infidelity forum here is probably one of the most high-traffic subforums? Know your audience.

And when it comes to infidelity, I learned long ago to never say never.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> I've never met a group of people that is so untrusting as I have on this site. Infidelity will happen only if you're with the wrong person. The more you try controlling someone the more likely they will sneak around.


In my two + decades being involved with marriage issues and counseling, I actually haven't seen one instance of a scenario you are describing here involving infidelity.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



MyRevelation said:


> Especially considering his gf’s past and their dysfunctional relationship (as he’s described it) ... he’s just confirming his lack of relationship maturity, regardless of his calendar age. Unfortunately, he’s likely facing a lot of future heartache.


Yep, thanks. Just went back and read a few posts from that thread. I am glad my wife bought me a new Ipad, the irony nearly killed this one lol.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



phillybeffandswiss said:


> bwahahahahaa you got me, I'll move on before I earn another ban......
> 
> 
> Hahahahaha "the wrong person" hahahahahaha
> ...


??????? SAY WHAT???? What are you talking about?


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> I have the same view. I’ve never had a woman divorce me, cheat on me, or mistreat me. I guess that our experiences color our judgments.


I honestly don't get it. If I had speculation that my g/f was cheating on me things would obviously be different but I'm not Naive. I've seen it many times before with friends that are jealous of their girlfriends going out so they follow them or do some weird things and get caught and the g/f dumps them. Nobody wants to be followed around or felt like they are doing something wrong when they are not.

I'm not saying I would ever be OK with my g/f going dark on me and not knowing where she is etc. That would be a game changer and would impair the situation moving forward.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



phillybeffandswiss said:


> Yep, thanks. Just went back and read a few posts from that thread. I am glad my wife bought me a new Ipad, the irony nearly killed this one lol.


says the STALKER... Talk about dysfunctional relationship and maturity.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> says the STALKER... Talk about dysfunctional relationship and maturity.


You are courting a ban. Might want to stop trying to start a fight and name calling.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



ConanHub said:


> You are courting a ban. Might want to stop trying to start a fight and name calling.


Just defending myself here.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> You my friend has some serious issues. Glad you promote stalking your wife/girlfriend. I truly feel sorry for you and even more sorry for anyone with the unfortunate title of being your wife/girlfriend. You're a sick person.


Don't project your insecurities onto me. NO one knows what their spouse does outside of their view. NO ONE!!! 
The only way to know "FOR A FACT," is to stalk them and monitor their every move. 

My issues pale in comparison to yours.

There is no promoting of anything, except your defensive misunderstanding of my post.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



phillybeffandswiss said:


> Don't project your insecurities onto me. NO one knows what their spouse does outside of their view. NO ONE!!!
> The only way to know "FOR A FACT," is to stalk them and monitor their every move.
> 
> My issues pale in comparison to yours.
> ...


In nearly all areas of the world STALKING IS ILLEGAL.... How on earth can you promote this? It's immoral and wrong in every sense of the word. Don't talk about my insecurities because they aren't there. Look in the mirror my friend.


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> says the STALKER... Talk about dysfunctional relationship and maturity.


Oh, now I am a stalker. Whatever floats your boat. I didn't start a thread about my retroactive jealousy and then start telling posterst they were insecure, stalkers and controlling. 

It's all good, I thought I knew everything once upon a time. I know more now, but it still isn't everything.

Enjoy schooling all of us immature less experiencd posters on life issues and relathionchips

Last word and derail to you.

....and no you are lashing out, not defedning yourself.


And just becuase you repeat a lie over and over again doesnt make it true.

I did not promote stalking, please learn how to properly read,


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



phillybeffandswiss said:


> Don't project your insecurities onto me. NO one knows what their spouse does outside of their view. NO ONE!!!
> The only way to know "FOR A FACT," is to stalk them and monitor their every move.
> 
> My issues pale in comparison to yours.
> ...


You are promoting STALKING. Your words that YOU WROTE: "The only way to know "FOR A FACT," is to stalk them and monitor their every move." 

Funny how you can backpedal on this one. I'm done here but just proved my point. There was no name calling just a fact. Calling a Car a car or a dog a dog. It's no different from what I said.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> Just defending myself here.


You were not called a name, you were disagreed with. I happen to know your position on infidelity is 180 degrees wrong based on facts learned over many years.

He was incredulous but you are name calling and trying to start a fight instead of presenting a case for your arguments based in experience and facts.

He isn't a stalker or advocating stalking. You can't be that off that you don't realize this?


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## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> Neither of us had a bachelorette/bachelor party. We prefer to party together. And in private lol.



Pictures or it doesn’t happen!



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



ConanHub said:


> You were not called a name, you were disagreed with. I happen to know your position on infidelity is 180 degrees wrong based on facts learned over many years.


So, what you learned is correct but what I learned is not? Oh ok, that almost makes sense. I've also never been cheated on so whatever I've been doing for the past 43 years is working better than most on this site. Maybe giving space to my partners has merit.


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## manwithnoname (Feb 3, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> So, what you learned is correct but what I learned is not? Oh ok, that almost makes sense. I've also never been cheated on so whatever I've been doing for the past 43 years is working better than most on this site. Maybe giving space to my partners has merit.


Sometimes giving too much space can be problematic, but then again, ignorance is bliss.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> So, what you learned is correct but what I learned is not? Oh ok, that almost makes sense. I've also never been cheated on so whatever I've been doing for the past 43 years is working better than most on this site. Maybe giving space to my partners has merit.


I've not been cheated on either but have worked with many trying to navigate through and past infidelity. The scenario you illustrated has never, not once, been involved in anything I have ever witnessed in real life situations.

I'm glad you haven't had it happen. Nothing wrong there but you also don't appear to have a lot of know know about it.


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## Talk2Me (Mar 22, 2019)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



manwithnoname said:


> Sometimes giving too much space can be problematic, but then again, ignorance is bliss.


What I've learned from Talk About Marriage is that you need to keep your S.O. on a tight leash and EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.... LMAO


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*

It's completely up to her, and whether it's a 'bad' or 'good' idea in our opinions is irrelevant. If she likes to spend time with her friends, and those interactions are positive for her, then I would guess it's a good thing for her.

I did see mention of people being able to track their partner's phones. Personally if this is a consensual thing that they have set up, it's generally used for convenience. A friend of mine just used hers yesterday in my presence. Her hubby was late home, so she checked his location, and he wasn't far from home. No need to call and check, or sit and wonder how long he would be etc. Would he be okay with that? Of course, he can check her too. Some people could use this tech as a way to stalk someone, while others can use it in a constructive way in a secure and healthy relationship. Just a note that it doesn't stop someone from cheating if that's what they want to do; I know that from personal experience.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> What I've learned from Talk About Marriage is that you need to keep your S.O. on a tight leash and EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.... LMAO


That answers it. It appears you haven't learned much at all.

If you would stop talking so loud, you might actually hear what is being said here because, according to this post of yours I'm quoting, you haven't even paid attention to the content of this thread, forget the TAM acquired wisdom, you can't even see the posts in this very thread.

Maybe go back and read all of our input before saying things like this that show a large gap in your ability to comprehend what is being expressed instead of just blowing your incorrect opinion as fact.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> I always encourage my wife to keep in contact with her friends. Over time, a number of the moms from the same daycare (along with others) started going out. They usually go out to a restaurant or bar and have drinks and talk. I have always encouraged my wife to do this.
> 
> Is this a good or bad idea for married women?


With the girls I used to work with a very good idea. They'd look after each other like hawks.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> Just defending myself here.


You are courting a ban. What you wrote is not you defending yourself, it's you attacking another poster and name calling. You could get your post across without that.

This is a warning... {speaking as a moderator}


----------



## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> What I've learned from Talk About Marriage is that you need to keep your S.O. on a tight leash and EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.... LMAO


 I don't understand people who stay on a forum they constantly ***** about. If "everyone here" sucks and is wrong I don't understand why they wouldn't just carry their ass on out the door.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I seem to view this very differently from the way some others do. 

There are lots of important things in life I don't know. There could be cancerous cells spreading through my body right now. The engine on my airplane might catch fire and burn me to death before I reach the ground. When I'm hiking in the mountains, a thousand tons of rock could drop on me without warning. There may be a layoff notice waiting for me at work Monday. And.. my wife might be cheating on me.

I can never know for sure about any of these - that is the nature of life. 

I choose to trust people in general, and especially to trust my wife. Maybe someday I'll find out I was wrong to do so, and if so I'll accept that I'm a worse judge of character than I think. For now though I trust her absolutely - and I enjoy being able to feel that I can do so.


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> CraigBesuden said:
> 
> 
> > I always encourage my wife to keep in contact with her friends. Over time, a number of the moms from the same daycare (along with others) started going out. They usually go out to a restaurant or bar and have drinks and talk. I have always encouraged my wife to do this.
> ...


If someone cannot distinguish between women getting together for dinner and a world girls night out, I'm not sure what to say.

NO ONE here is saying wives cant have female friends.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

As long as she showers after she gets back, it’s all good with me..


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

InMyPrime said:


> As long as she showers after she gets back, it’s all good with me..


Smelling the other guys’ cologne after GNO is such a turn off.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> Just defending myself here.


No. You were not.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

CraigBesuden said:


> Smelling the other guys’ cologne after GNO is such a turn off.




If it was just cologne, I wouldn’t mind...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



personofinterest said:


> If someone cannot distinguish between women getting together for dinner and a world girls night out, I'm not sure what to say.
> 
> NO ONE here is saying wives cant have female friends.


Not sure what constitutes a wild night out. I once saw a guy dancing w/ a group of women(in turn) and after he left, one of them said to me "It was fun dancing w/ him, but just as glad he left. He wanted laid and we're all married." The point being some women can maintain fidelity when they get a little "crazier" than dining.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> Just defending myself here.


Insulting posters' manhood is a time-honored non-ban tactic, in this thread and others. Try it to stay on the mods' good side.


----------



## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> I always encourage my wife to keep in contact with her friends. Over time, a number of the moms from the same daycare (along with others) started going out. They usually go out to a restaurant or bar and have drinks and talk. I have always encouraged my wife to do this.
> 
> Is this a good or bad idea for married women?


It depends on where they are going and who she is going with. A restaurant with a group of women that I know to be good people, no problem. A group of women that I do not know at a bar where they will go dancing, that would be an issue.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



pastasauce79 said:


> Since we were dating 17 years ago, my husband and I had our own social lives. I went out with my girlfriends to eat or dance (Latin music) and my husband was always ok with it since he's not into dancing. I've never done anything to be disrespectful to my marriage or my husband. I also go back home every year and I stay there for about 3 weeks at the time, I visit friends and family.
> 
> My husband has his own friends from high school. He goes out to bars, concerts, etc. He goes to music festivals with them. He has traveled around the world to see other friends as well.
> 
> ...


What a breath of fresh air. To me, loving someone means trusting them. I can't imagine it otherwise. 

I wonder if some people who get hung up on making rules for their spouse realize how great it feels to make them happy.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



SpinyNorman said:


> Not sure what constitutes a wild night out. I once saw a guy dancing w/ a group of women(in turn) and after he left, one of them said to me "It was fun dancing w/ him, but just as glad he left. He wanted laid and we're all married." The point being some women can maintain fidelity when they get a little "crazier" than dining.


I've danced with other women. Its not a boundary here. Some people just like to dance. Maybe he just likes to dance? 

One of my friends owns a restaurant and on Friday and Saturday nights they get a DJ and clear some tables so people can dance. They do more hip hop and stuff. Then another buddy owns a Mexican food restaurant and they do mariachi bands on Saturday nights. Lots of salsa dancing and similar. Its more sensual I guess, but I'm focused on my moves. I was dancing with a co-worker more of a slower song and one of the other guys on the floor was with his wife, he told me to pull her in tighter. I showed him my ring and said "I'm married, and not to her" and we alI laughed about it. The guy was like "oooooohhhh! Hahaha" 

Grinding your **** on some girl, or some girl grinding her ass on you isn't dancing. That's foreplay. Some people just like to dance. If your spouse or partner doesn't, let them watch you dance. I'm definitely not trying to get laid out there. Its fun, takes athleticism and a development of muscle memory through repetition. Then you can move with the music instead of thinking about your dance moves too much. I dont know. Its just fun for some people. A GNO to go dancing, I don't see that as going wild. Guess it depends on the person.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I've danced with other women. Its not a boundary here. Some people just like to dance. Maybe he just likes to dance?
> 
> One of my friends owns a restaurant and on Friday and Saturday nights they get a DJ and clear some tables so people can dance. They do more hip hop and stuff. Then another buddy owns a Mexican food restaurant and they do mariachi bands on Saturday nights. Lots of salsa dancing and similar. Its more sensual I guess, but I'm focused on my moves. I was dancing with a co-worker more of a slower song and one of the other guys on the floor was with his wife, he told me to pull her in tighter. I showed him my ring and said "I'm married, and not to her" and we alI laughed about it. The guy was like "oooooohhhh! Hahaha"
> 
> Grinding your **** on some girl, or some girl grinding her ass on you isn't dancing. That's foreplay. Some people just like to dance. If your spouse or partner doesn't, let them watch you dance. I'm definitely not trying to get laid out there. Its fun, takes athleticism and a development of muscle memory through repetition. Then you can move with the music instead of thinking about your dance moves too much. I dont know. Its just fun for some people. A GNO to go dancing, I don't see that as going wild. Guess it depends on the person.


Pretty much agree w/ all of this. Several posters had said they don't mind a "Girls' Night Out" for food, but would mind at a dance venue. To each his own, but my point was I've seen GNO at a dance place where the "girls" didn't want to cheat.

Maybe the lady I spoke to was wrong about the guy's motives, IDK. She may or may not have spoken to him.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



SpinyNorman said:


> Pretty much agree w/ all of this. Several posters had said they don't mind a "Girls' Night Out" for food, but would mind at a dance venue. To each his own, but my point was I've seen GNO at a dance place where the "girls" didn't want to cheat.
> 
> Maybe the lady I spoke to was wrong about the guy's motives, IDK. She may or may not have spoken to him.


The thing was the "he was fun to dance with" line. Some creep probably isn't going to be much fun. Will try to get too close and too handsy and all that. 

Its like when a woman is nice and friendly to a guy and some dudes think that means she wants to sleep with them. 

I mean, sure dancing is intimate, but it's not necessarily sexual. You are locked into something with another person. To that same token, loads of things are intimate and not sexual. Deep conversation for example. Even something "manly" like hunting. You and another dude out there hiking into the unknown, locked in to each other's movements and your environment. Subtle body language directing each other's movements through the bush. Nothing sexual about any of it. 

But yeah, there's definitely some creeps on the dance floor for sure.


----------



## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I mean, sure dancing is intimate, but it's not necessarily sexual. You are locked into something with another person. To that same token, loads of things are intimate and not sexual. Deep conversation for example. Even something "manly" like hunting. You and another dude out there hiking into the unknown, locked in to each other's movements and your environment. Subtle body language directing each other's movements through the bush. Nothing sexual about any of it.
> .



With a nod to the Foot Massage scene in "Pulp Fiction", I will ask:

Would you dance with a guy?

(I won't link to the clip because it is R-rated, but feel free to google it if you are unfamiliar with the exchange between John Travolta and Samuel Jackson in the movie.)


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Wolfman1968 said:


> With a nod to the Foot Massage scene in "Pulp Fiction", I will ask:
> 
> Would you dance with a guy?
> 
> (I won't link to the clip because it is R-rated, but feel free to google it if you are unfamiliar with the exchange between John Travolta and Samuel Jackson in the movie.)


In a teaching setting yes. I have no issue with it. Or a bunch of dudes doing the cupid shuffle or something, no problem. If someone wanted me to show them how to salsa, no problem. I'm not just going to ask a dude to dance though. Sounds like a way to get punched in the face.

There's also the matter of who is leading. Its just different.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Wolfman1968 said:


> With a nod to the Foot Massage scene in "Pulp Fiction", I will ask:
> 
> Would you dance with a guy?
> 
> (I won't link to the clip because it is R-rated, but feel free to google it if you are unfamiliar with the exchange between John Travolta and Samuel Jackson in the movie.)


Here's a question back.

Are you one of those guys who has a hard time hugging his guy friends? You do the hand slap one armed bro hug only?

Bill Burr has a comedy bit about how women live longer because guys repress all their feelings if they aren't seen as "manly" like he can't admit a puppy is cute out loud and can't get openly excited about things that some other guy might tease him for or call him gay. I know best friends that have never actually had a real hug. Seems so strange to me. They do that bro hug. Haven't seen each other for months and its a bro hug. Embrace the ones you love with a real damn hug! Sheesh fellas, how insecure can some of you be? "What if someone thinks we are gay?" Who gives a ****?


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



SpinyNorman said:


> Not sure what constitutes a wild night out. I once saw a guy dancing w/ a group of women(in turn) and after he left, one of them said to me "It was fun dancing w/ him, but just as glad he left. He wanted laid and we're all married." The point being some women can maintain fidelity when they get a little "crazier" than dining.



How do you know he didn’t ‘slip it in’ while dancing? I have seen crazier things happen...
Dancing is a bit like a mating ritual. And if the woman participates maybe the guy thinks she is ‘accepting’.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

I actually asked my husband about this topic a few months back after reading a thread here about GNO. While it's not ever going to be an issue for us as I hate GNO lol, he said he wouldn't have an issue with me going on one, he trusts me and knows that I can handle myself. He did say that he wouldn't want me dancing with men, which I think is more than reasonable.

My husband is my world, I would never do anything to disrespect him - either in his presence or when he's not around, and he is the same with me. 

If I enjoyed GNO's, and he strongly felt it was an issue and would prefer me not to go, I wouldn't go. He's my husband, and how he feels is more important to me than a night out drinking and dancing. He'd want to watch how he expressed that though - if he tried the "You can't go, I forbid it" it'd be on like donkey kong. No one tells me what to do lol.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> I honestly don't get it. If I had speculation that my g/f was cheating on me things would obviously be different but I'm not Naive. I've seen it many times before with friends that are jealous of their girlfriends going out so they follow them or do some weird things and get caught and the g/f dumps them. Nobody wants to be followed around or felt like they are doing something wrong when they are not.
> 
> *I'm not saying I would ever be OK with my g/f going dark on me and not knowing where she is etc. That would be a game changer and would impair the situation moving forward*.


The bolded part may be a key bit of trust missing that with experience, age and wisdom if increases, improves a whole M, all facets. Or not, fir your circumstances, I'm certainly not all knowing.

What works for us and many, many great marriages, I can share, is:
As long as I know my W is safe, I don't have to know every second of every day whereabouts. 

We don't typically go out on late late nights, and it's rare that either is out late without the other unless a planned thing I'm automatically in the know, just our way of life. 

This is big: I make it a point never to tell her she "can't do this or that". 
I trust her. She trusts me. 

We've been through crazy stuff in first five years if M but we were in our early 20s, nuts anyway. Granted, especially me.

But one can never "make" another person do / not do things. We're not God like in that way. You'll give yourself an ulcer if stand around 
A. worrying only if you said this/that, or 
B. seriously think you can control another adult.

I observe her actions, she observes mine. 

*Here's your take away perhaps:

Freeing yourself from thinking you have control over others in all, even most, circumstances is a tremendous freedom, and allows much more time to actually focus on enjoying each other and the marriage relationship, and your own best self too.*


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



uhtred said:


> I seem to view this very differently from the way some others do.
> 
> There are lots of important things in life I don't know. There could be cancerous cells spreading through my body right now. The engine on my airplane might catch fire and burn me to death before I reach the ground. When I'm hiking in the mountains, a thousand tons of rock could drop on me without warning. There may be a layoff notice waiting for me at work Monday. And.. my wife might be cheating on me.
> 
> ...


Damn well said !!

👍


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> I have the same view. I’ve never had a woman divorce me, cheat on me, or mistreat me. I guess that our experiences color our judgments.


 @CraigBesuden 

I hear what you're saying, and it's true our personal experiences color our views. This, while we each educate ourselves about other's experiences that are different than ours can over power, make our personal experiences "seem" more correct or more valid than the "the other's" experiences. 

Persons in general tend to under-weight, if you will, not personally shared experiences when discussing those topics in a large group. 

I'm not saying you are here, but I am saying you're not fully weighting or taking into consideration the experiences of others when buying into the opinion someone stated :"you've never seen a less trusting group" than those at TAM.

My opinion is different, many are, and there are extremely good reasons experienced folks here can say "hey that's a red flag" or "some mischief may be afoot" when reading of certain circumstances. The forum is about troubled marriages after all.

A new auto driver often says "you (experienced) drivers are going too slow!" but the new driver hasn't yet had the near misses or accidents on curves or in traffic the more experienced driver has already had.

The more experienced driver will advise the new driver about speed, caution, yet enjoyment too, but it's up to the newer driver to learn, one way or another. And they will.

Too long winded! But, just sayin'. 🙂


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I was fine with GNO's for a number of years. Then two separate incidents changed my mind altogether. The first was on a cruise. My wife and I were in the cigar lounge, when one of a group of married women, all on the cruise without their husbands (I know this because we got friendly with them on deck one afternoon) comes in alone, lights up, and just sits there. A young man sat down next to her, and I saw them strike up a conversation, and within that half hour, left together. Demonstrated to me that opportunity can outweigh conscience. Second, and what put a nail in it. One Friday, my wife calls me and tells me her sis arranged a GNO. They were going to a bar. I asked what bar, and she said she had never heard of it. I did, and asked my wife where she would be living afterward. She freaks and asks me what I meant. I said your sis is taking you and a few others to a "cougar" bar. She first had to ask what a cougar bar was. She got a wee bit upset and called sis back. Sis gets all mad, and says to her that I was, get this, "c*ck blocking her", and "she should see how the other half lives". So I say to the wife, "I trust you, I don't trust your sister, and I definitely do not trust the guys in the bar" We agreed that GNO's will be tightly monitored, and that GNO's with sis are out of the question. (She has not liked me for a good decade after her marriage broke up, and I did some consultancy for her ex-it was nothing to do with their marriage, a sales tax beef, but me helping him? Made me public enemy #1)


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Taxman said:


> I was fine with GNO's for a number of years. Then two separate incidents changed my mind altogether. The first was on a cruise. My wife and I were in the cigar lounge, when one of a group of married women, all on the cruise without their husbands (I know this because we got friendly with them on deck one afternoon) comes in alone, lights up, and just sits there. A young man sat down next to her, and I saw them strike up a conversation, and within that half hour, left together. Demonstrated to me that opportunity can outweigh conscience. Second, and what put a nail in it. One Friday, my wife calls me and tells me her sis arranged a GNO. They were going to a bar. I asked what bar, and she said she had never heard of it. I did, and asked my wife where she would be living afterward. She freaks and asks me what I meant. I said your sis is taking you and a few others to a "cougar" bar. She first had to ask what a cougar bar was. She got a wee bit upset and called sis back. Sis gets all mad, and says to her that I was, get this, "c*ck blocking her", and "she should see how the other half lives". So I say to the wife, "I trust you, I don't trust your sister, and I definitely do not trust the guys in the bar" We agreed that GNO's will be tightly monitored, and that GNO's with sis are out of the question. (She has not liked me for a good decade after her marriage broke up, and I did some consultancy for her ex-it was nothing to do with their marriage, a sales tax beef, but me helping him? Made me public enemy #1)


It’s funny that you mentioned cruises, my wife and I haven’t had our honeymoon yet and we were thinking about a cruise. 
I was on a Caribbean cruise with a girlfriend about ten years ago and I’ve never forgotten what went down. There were six of us at the table for meals, me and my girlfriend and four nurses from Kentucky. These women were up for anything and I mean anything. Every one of them hooked up with different men. One of them, Jennifer, slept with a different guy every night. One of the waiters got into trouble when he was seen leaving her cabin. 
When the cruise was over my girlfriend asked them for email addresses or even to add them on Facebook but one of them explained that they didn’t want any information leaking out about the cruise. It turned out three of them were married and the fourth was engaged, this cruise was the bachelorette party for her.
About two months later, Jennifer got in contact with me to say she would be in NY for a couple of weeks and did I fancy a temporary roommate. I declined. 
As for GNO’s.
I lived in the Village. 
I had my own apartment. 
I’m taking the fifth lol.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> It’s funny that you mentioned cruises, my wife and I haven’t had our honeymoon yet and we were thinking about a cruise.
> I was on a Caribbean cruise with a girlfriend about ten years ago and I’ve never forgotten what went down. There were six of us at the table for meals, me and my girlfriend and four nurses from Kentucky. These women were up for anything and I mean anything. Every one of them hooked up with different men. One of them, Jennifer, slept with a different guy every night. One of the waiters got into trouble when he was seen leaving her cabin.
> When the cruise was over my girlfriend asked them for email addresses or even to add them on Facebook but one of them explained that they didn’t want any information leaking out about the cruise. It turned out three of them were married and the fourth was engaged, this cruise was the bachelorette party for her.
> About two months later, Jennifer got in contact with me to say she would be in NY for a couple of weeks and did I fancy a temporary roommate. I declined.
> ...


Which cruise line was this?

https://www.ship-technology.com/features/how-old-is-the-average-cruise-passenger/

According to the Cruise Lines International Association (CLIA)’s 2016 Cruise Review, the average age of UK cruise passengers had dropped by almost a full year to be just over 55, the lowest figure in six years, and internationally the average age has fallen to 46, the lowest it’s been in 20 years.

(end quote)

The new average age of 46 seems skewed to me, it must include passengers who are children. The cruise I went on (Celebrity) was at least 55 average age, almost zero children or teens.

I was looking for cuties but there were none except the staff.

I'm confused how you had young (I'm assuming?) female friends who able to find a piece of ass younger than their father. Yeah the staff, I get that. But it could be you would go on a cruise and even the staff were not cute/young/available enough. What would they do then? (ETA: I just re-read what you wrote, these were 4 nurses you didn't know personally...got it. What age were they? Because again, if they were 30 or younger, I can't see why they would be fishing for men on a cruise).


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> It’s funny that you mentioned cruises, my wife and I haven’t had our honeymoon yet and we were thinking about a cruise.
> I was on a Caribbean cruise with a girlfriend about ten years ago and I’ve never forgotten what went down. There were six of us at the table for meals, me and my girlfriend and four nurses from Kentucky. These women were up for anything and I mean anything. Every one of them hooked up with different men. One of them, Jennifer, slept with a different guy every night. One of the waiters got into trouble when he was seen leaving her cabin.
> When the cruise was over my girlfriend asked them for email addresses or even to add them on Facebook but one of them explained that they didn’t want any information leaking out about the cruise. It turned out three of them were married and the fourth was engaged, this cruise was the bachelorette party for her.
> About two months later, Jennifer got in contact with me to say she would be in NY for a couple of weeks and did I fancy a temporary roommate. I declined.
> ...


I've heard similar stories about places like Cancun and girl's only trips.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Andy1001 said:
> 
> 
> > It’s funny that you mentioned cruises, my wife and I haven’t had our honeymoon yet and we were thinking about a cruise.
> ...


Yes of course. But we don’t take a cruise to get there. Why sail for 5 days with a bunch of old people when you can fly directly to your destination and hit up the people your own age.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Faithful Wife said:


> I’m confused how you had young (I'm assuming?) female friends who able to find a piece of ass younger than their father... What age were they? Because again, if they were 30 or younger, I can't see why they would be fishing for men on a cruise).


A few years ago, my neighbor’s second wife soon after their divorce went on a cruise. She was under 30. She encountered a young rookie black pitcher from an MLB team. She went to the cabin to see his roommate, saw him undressing and his large manhood. She was amazed. He asked if she had ever been with a black guy before, she said no. She tried it and it was way too big for her liking.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> It’s funny that you mentioned cruises, my wife and I haven’t had our honeymoon yet and we were thinking about a cruise.



Don’t. It’s mostly for old people. There are much better ways to spend the honeymoon. If you need, I can recommend places to go to that you will not forget. (And Jennifer won’t be there either to distract).



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Yes of course. But we don’t take a cruise to get there. Why sail for 5 days with a bunch of old people when you can fly directly to your destination and hit up the people your own age.


The stories I've heard its women going for much younger guys. I think it's kind of like a woman's version of a midlife crisis. Getting older, feeling like her looks are fading, she sets out to see if she can still get some booty type deal. Middle aged married women hooking up with random 20 year olds. I may be way off, but I think getting older hits women differently as their looks are very important to them. Especially really pretty women who've been given the pretty girl treatment their whole lives. Then one day at 40, they realize it's slowed down big time. That's gotta present some self esteem challenges for some girls.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> A few years ago, my neighbor’s second wife soon after their divorce went on a cruise. She was under 30. She encountered a young rookie black pitcher from an MLB team. She went to the cabin to see his roommate, saw him undressing and his large manhood. She was amazed. He asked if she had ever been with a black guy before, she said no. She tried it and it was way too big for her liking.


Um yes, I have relevant experience mahself (except the too big for her liking part). :wink2:


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> Wow, you don't trust her at all. GPS on??? Spot Checks??? that's not at all healthy. My g/f is on a girls weekend right now and I'm totally cool with it. It is with her mom, aunt, and best friend but still I think it's healthy to have fun with other people to keep a relationship healthy. She also goes out one night a week with her girlfriends and they typically grab drinks and dinner. I trust her and she never goes dark if I message her.
> 
> One of her good friends husbands, is no longer allowing her to go out and it's causing all kinds of problems to the point that the g/f is now lying and saying she has to work late so she can sneak out for an hour or so. That is not healthy and creates resentment.


 Going away with her mum, aunt and one friend isn't really the same.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> The stories I've heard its women going for much younger guys. I think it's kind of like a woman's version of a midlife crisis. Getting older, feeling like her looks are fading, she sets out to see if she can still get some booty type deal. Middle aged married women hooking up with random 20 year olds. I may be way off, but I think getting older hits women differently as their looks are very important to them. Especially really pretty women who've been given the pretty girl treatment their whole lives. *Then one day at 40, they realize it's slowed down big time*. That's gotta present some self esteem challenges for some girls.


I don't know, unless a woman said these things to me herself, then I would not assume this is what is going on. Especially the bolded. The women I know 40 and up are shocked to realize that scores of much younger men are always coming after them. And not just to hit it and quit it. I mean, they are literally begging us to date them. I'm sorry but the stereo-type just doesn't hold up anymore. Maybe "back in the day" there were women "of that age" pining for their youth by hunting down younger men who (by your implication) were only there to "use" them and couldn't possibly have any interest in them. These days, young men don't have the stigma they did in the past or something? All I know is that there is no need to even try to find a cub, they throw themselves at us everywhere we go. 

We also don't have to spend money on them.

We also don't have to go looking for them.

Men always find women. Some men have assumed that men don't also find "older" women, but trust me, they do.

You young dudes who think 40 is "older" .... you crack me up. :x

Maybe us old ladies just don't look like our moms and grandmas did at this age, so if you're assuming things from your own growing and learning years, things have changed a LOT since then.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Um yes, I have relevant experience mahself (except the too big for her liking part). :wink2:


A guy with a 4 incher who can work it like no other VS a guy with a 8 incher who's got no idea what he's doing. What do you take? It sounds like an easy answer, but I figure a woman can tell him to get on his back and she can ride that 8incher to get the desired results and a 4incher, I mean you can't hit all the spots with that can you?

I figure if I had a freaky Friday type deal happen to me, I would totally want to be a girl for a day, not some other dude. I want to experience how it feels for y'all. I would probably shove all sorts of things up there just to see you know?


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I would probably shove all sorts of things up there just to see you know?


Which is what we do when we actually have one.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> A guy with a 4 incher who can work it like no other VS a guy with a 8 incher who's got no idea what he's doing. What do you take?


I don't know why guys frame things all silly like this. This scenario will never happen to me, has never happened to me, and I don't know any person it has ever happened to.

Futile mental exercise - - apparently meant to sooth the male ego? I don't get it.

Now if you tell me the net income of each, I can answer properly, thank you.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> A guy with a 4 incher who can work it like no other VS a guy with a 8 incher who's got no idea what he's doing. What do you take? It sounds like an easy answer, but I figure a woman can tell him to get on his back and she can ride that 8incher to get the desired results and a 4incher, I mean you can't hit all the spots with that can you?



Depends. Are we talking 4 inch wide or diagonal?




TheDudeLebowski said:


> I figure if I had a freaky Friday type deal happen to me, I would totally want to be a girl for a day, not some other dude. I want to experience how it feels for y'all. I would probably shove all sorts of things up there just to see you know?



Bit of a hoarder aren’t you. You need to remember to take things out too, you know, not just stuff it with stuff, willy-nillily.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I don't know, unless a woman said these things to me herself, then I would not assume this is what is going on. Especially the bolded. The women I know 40 and up are shocked to realize that scores of much younger men are always coming after them. And not just to hit it and quit it. I mean, they are literally begging us to date them. I'm sorry but the stereo-type just doesn't hold up anymore. Maybe "back in the day" there were women "of that age" pining for their youth by hunting down younger men who (by your implication) were only there to "use" them and couldn't possibly have any interest in them. These days, young men don't have the stigma they did in the past or something? All I know is that there is no need to even try to find a cub, they throw themselves at us everywhere we go.
> 
> We also don't have to spend money on them.
> 
> ...


I'm nearly 36 so I'm basically that same age. When I say older women, at 20 a 40 year old IS an older woman. That's their mom's age. To me now, 60+ is an older woman. Basically whatever your mom's age is as a guy, that's an older woman. At 60, you still feel very young.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> The stories I've heard its women going for much younger guys. I think it's kind of like a woman's version of a midlife crisis. Getting older, feeling like her looks are fading, she sets out to see if she can still get some booty type deal. Middle aged married women hooking up with random 20 year olds. I may be way off, but I think getting older hits women differently as their looks are very important to them. Especially really pretty women who've been given the pretty girl treatment their whole lives. Then one day at 40, they realize it's slowed down big time. That's gotta present some self esteem challenges for some girls.




2 more years for my wife to hit that midlife crisis age....can’t wait. Making a man-list already. The woman deserves only the best!


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----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I don't know why guys frame things all silly like this. This scenario will never happen to me, has never happened to me, and I don't know any person it has ever happened to.
> 
> Futile mental exercise - - apparently meant to sooth the male ego? I don't get it.
> 
> Now if you tell me the net income of each, I can answer properly, thank you.


Lol at that last part. You are fun.


And Hey! I've been perfectly clear and honest about my incredibly average 6 incher. Seems everyone on here has a MAGNUM DONG! which statistically isn't possible, but whatever.


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Which cruise line was this?
> 
> https://www.ship-technology.com/features/how-old-is-the-average-cruise-passenger/
> 
> ...


I don’t remember the cruise line,my girlfriend booked the cruise, but we set off from Miami. It was a huge ship,I remember that much. 
I was twenty five, my girlfriend was about the same. The nurses were all early thirties. 
The biggest regret I had was that I had a girlfriend with me. 
There was one group of about twenty Italian girls who were all celebrating a twenty first birthday. 
There was a ladies basketball team from somewhere in California who had won some tournament and the cruise was part of their prize. In actual fact the average age on the entire ship seemed to be mid twenties 
And there was me.
With a date...........😡


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> Lol at that last part. You are fun.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Because you are not measuring form the right place. The cocc is always measured form the coccyx.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> When I say older women, at 20 a 40 year old IS an older woman.


What you said was that at 40, the WOMAN notices the lack of attention.

Did you mean she notices the lack of attention from 20 year olds? Because, who cares? You were making the point that SHE was noticing the missing attention. Well no, we barely notice attention from 20 year old men when we are 20, so why would we notice the lack of it?

If you want to talk about what you or other men thought about when you were 20, ok. Try not to speak for women when you are doing that and things will make more sense.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> I don’t remember the cruise line,my girlfriend booked the cruise, but we set off from Miami. It was a huge ship,I remember that much.
> I was twenty five, my girlfriend was about the same. The nurses were all early thirties.
> The biggest regret I had was that I had a girlfriend with me.
> There was one group of about twenty Italian girls who were all celebrating a twenty first birthday.
> ...


Must have been Carnival.

I'll be interested to hear your thoughts when you go on one again. You'll see.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



InMyPrime said:


> Because you are not measuring form the right place. The cocc is always measured form the coccyx.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


So it's not from the middle of your taint? Damn. Maybe I'm shorting myself...


----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I'm nearly 36 so I'm basically that same age. When I say older women, at 20 a 40 year old IS an older woman. That's their mom's age. To me now, 60+ is an older woman. Basically whatever your mom's age is as a guy, that's an older woman. At 60, you still feel very young.


You and me are the same age. I’m thirty five since March. 
For some reason I thought you were older. I don’t know why.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> What you said was that at 40, the WOMAN notices the lack of attention.
> 
> Did you mean she notices the lack of attention from 20 year olds? Because, who cares? You were making the point that SHE was noticing the missing attention. Well no, we barely notice attention from 20 year old men when we are 20, so why would we notice the lack of it?
> 
> If you want to talk about what you or other men thought about when you were 20, ok. Try not to speak for women when you are doing that and things will make more sense.


I thought I covered my bases when I said "I may be way off, but I think..." maybe you missed that part?


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> You and me are the same age. I’m thirty five since March.
> For some reason I thought you were older. I don’t know why.


My lack of maturity must have thrown you off.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I thought I covered my bases when I said "I may be way off, but I think..." maybe you missed that part?


Honest question. Can I ask why you "think"? You made some pretty specific statements about what women "think". I'm curious where they came from.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Must have been Carnival.
> 
> I'll be interested to hear your thoughts when you go on one again. You'll see.


Comedians always talk about cruise gigs like performing at an old folks home. Lmao


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Honest question. Can I ask why you "think"? You made some pretty specific statements about what women "think". I'm curious where they came from.


Good looking people get treated differently than average to not so good looking people. Do you disagree? Part of me thinks really pretty women have an issue with feeling like men are only with them for how they look and not much else. Similar to a very wealthy man feeling like women are only into them for their money. The flip side is some really pretty women use this as a way to control, similar to a really wealthy man who uses his money and status to control. If you've used your looks all your life, at 40+ maybe sometimes they no longer get the desired outcomes to flaunting themselves? I did said I may be way off. I feel like that's an adequate precursor to the next statement I was about to pull out of my ass.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> Part of me thinks really pretty women have an issue with feeling like men are only with them for how they look and not much else.


I don't know what qualifies as "really" pretty. But I've known some strikingly beautiful women and some every day next door stunners. Most of them seem to understand that their outsides will only attract the outsides of someone else, and your insides attract the insides of someone else. So dingbat stunners end up with dumbass guys, and smart women of substance stunners end up with gorgeous men of substance.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I don't know what qualifies as "really" pretty. But I've known some strikingly beautiful women and some every day next door stunners. Most of them seem to understand that their outsides will only attract the outsides of someone else, and your insides attract the insides of someone else. So dingbat stunners end up with dumbass guys, and smart women of substance stunners end up with gorgeous men of substance.


You don't live in Lake Woebegone by any chance, do you?

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----------



## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> It’s funny that you mentioned cruises, my wife and I haven’t had our honeymoon yet and we were thinking about a cruise.
> I was on a Caribbean cruise with a girlfriend about ten years ago and I’ve never forgotten what went down. There were six of us at the table for meals, me and my girlfriend and four nurses from Kentucky. These women were up for anything and I mean anything. Every one of them hooked up with different men. One of them, Jennifer, slept with a different guy every night. One of the waiters got into trouble when he was seen leaving her cabin.
> When the cruise was over my girlfriend asked them for email addresses or even to add them on Facebook but one of them explained that they didn’t want any information leaking out about the cruise. It turned out three of them were married and the fourth was engaged, this cruise was the bachelorette party for her.
> About two months later, Jennifer got in contact with me to say she would be in NY for a couple of weeks and did I fancy a temporary roommate. I declined.
> ...


Exactly why I don't trust any women interested in GNOs or bachelorette parties. Major red flag.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Cletus said:


> You don't live in Lake Woebegone by any chance, do you?


Lolz.

Maybe I'm way off base and the women I consider stunners - - people on average would not consider them as such? All I can go by are the number of men who were after them all the time who said things like "you're gorgeous". 

My point was only that men really never stop hitting on women. And not just the "really pretty ones" as Dude referred to. But I was referring to specific women I've known who really are/were what I consider beautiful, and men never stop hitting on them really.

I don't know, I think that some men completely under-estimate the horn dog-ness of other men, but I don't understand why.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I figure if I had a freaky Friday type deal happen to me, I would totally want to be a girl for a day, not some other dude. I want to experience how it feels for y'all. I would probably shove all sorts of things up there just to see you know?





Faithful Wife said:


> Which is what we do when we actually have one.


You guys are killing me!:lol:


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I don't know what qualifies as "really" pretty. But I've known some strikingly beautiful women and some every day next door stunners. Most of them seem to understand that their outsides will only attract the outsides of someone else, and your insides attract the insides of someone else. So dingbat stunners end up with dumbass guys, * and smart women of substance stunners end up with gorgeous men of substance.*


Agreed. It's the dingbat stunners that would be prone to a midlife crisis where as married middle aged women they feel the need to go to Cancun and bang random 20 year olds. Sorry, now I get where I went wrong with my post you questioned. I certainly didn't mean all women. My apologies. 

Also, I wish the bolded was true. This forum might not exist if that was the case.


----------



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> The women I know 40 and up are shocked to realize that scores of much younger men are always coming after them. And not just to hit it and quit it. I mean, they are literally begging us to date them. I'm sorry but the stereo-type just doesn't hold up anymore. Maybe "back in the day" there were women "of that age" pining for their youth by hunting down younger men who (by your implication) were only there to "use" them and couldn't possibly have any interest in them. These days, young men don't have the stigma they did in the past or something? All I know is that there is no need to even try to find a cub, they throw themselves at us everywhere we go.


I have found this to be so true.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Lolz.
> 
> 
> 
> I don't know, I think that some men completely under-estimate the horn dog-ness of other men, but I don't understand why.


Actually, I was more commenting on the incredible maturity, self awareness, and poise of all these beautiful people. 

Everyone being as horny as they are, the prettiest among us have ample opportunity to abuse their looks. That you see so little of it makes me think that you have above average friends (probably) or below average exposure (unlikely).

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----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Cletus said:


> Actually, I was more commenting on the incredible maturity, self awareness, and poise of all these beautiful people.
> 
> Everyone being as horny as they are, the prettiest among us have ample opportunity to abuse their looks. *That you see so little of it* makes me think that you have above average friends (probably) or below average exposure (unlikely).


That I see so little of people abusing their looks? Is that what you mean?

I dunno, I just see attractive people/couples who are well matched, outside and inside. That is something which is rare?


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I don't know, I think that some men completely under-estimate the horn dog-ness of other men, but I don't understand why.


Now if you think because of my current position that I don't understand or share that horn dog-ness of most men, you would be gravely mistaken.

As a junior in high school, I was riding out to Happy Valley on two lane roads 20 miles round trip on a bike with a failing tire on school nights so that I could stay up half the night ****ing - 5 or 6 times a day, then sneaking back into my room at dawn to avoid detection, while maintaining a 4.0 gpa.

I have been evicted from an apartment for participating in a loud gang bang with a couple that wanted to try cuckolding that culminated in everyone skinny dipping in the pool.

So I understand horny, even when I may not get to participate directly lo these many years.

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----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> That I see so little of people abusing their looks? Is that what you mean?
> 
> 
> 
> I dunno, I just see attractive people/couples who are well matched, outside and inside. That is something which is rare?


Don't you think that the pretty people use their looks to their advantage? 

Don't we all use the tools we have, be it our brains, sporting gifts, money, or looks to our best advantage? 

I don't know if it's rare or not, or if you're seeing what you want to see. I expect that like all things human, there is endless variety and combination, including plenty of folks using their hotness to get what they want at someone else's expense.

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----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Cletus said:


> Now if you think because of my current position that I don't understand or share that horn dog-ness of most men, you would be gravely mistaken.
> 
> As a junior in high school, I was riding out to Happy Valley on two lane roads 20 miles round trip on a bike with a failing tire on school nights so that I could stay up half the night ****ing - 5 or 6 times a day, then sneaking back into my room at dawn to avoid detection, while maintaining a 4.0 gpa.
> 
> ...


No no...I was referring to Dude saying that he speculated that 40 year old women don't have as much attention from men as they did when they were 20. So to think this would assume somehow that:

1. The 40 year old men are not still horn dogs wanting to get after her?

2. Somehow men who are younger than she is are what she WANTS attention from, more than men her own age?

3. Men are so "picky" as to get all weird about "aging"....even though apparently they will do any woman who is even remotely willing (according to the stereo type) and ALSO that they find nearly every remotely average woman "attractive", but somehow once she turns 40 men have all these weird deal breakers about age.

As for you....

I asked a question on your thread earlier which I know the answer to but which you did not directly answer. And I know your answer would have been "yes, of course", because yes, of course I understand you are still a horn dog regardless of how your sex life is currently.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Cletus said:


> Don't you think that the pretty people use their looks to their advantage?
> 
> Don't we all use the tools we have, be it our brains, sporting gifts, money, or looks to our best advantage?
> 
> I don't know if it's rare or not, or if you're seeing what you want to see. I expect that like all things human, there is endless variety and combination, including plenty of folks using their hotness to get what they want at someone else's expense.


Um well.....no?

I mean, the hot women I'm speaking of simply want a hot man. And so sure, what she looks like is going to matter to a hot man, right? So is she "using" her looks to get a hot man if she is also hot? Or is this just a couple of hotties attracted to each other?

And no, I don't know women who are using their looks to get things other than dates with men they are attracted to and interested in. I don't know women (personally) who are somehow using their looks to get diamonds or real estate or cars......do you? And if so, how can I get in on this deal? (kidding)

I know people are like that (even though I can't think of any personally) but when it comes to simply trying to date someone, why wouldn't your own looks be important, the same way the people you want to attract looks are important?


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> No no...I was referring to Dude saying that he speculated that 40 year old women don't have as much attention from men as they did when they were 20. So to think this would assume somehow that:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ah, I see. 

The answer to your earlier question is that it is the current model going forward, for now 

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----------



## cp3o (Jun 2, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> I always encourage my wife to keep in contact with her friends. Over time, a number of the moms from the same daycare (along with others) started going out. They usually go out to a restaurant or bar and have drinks and talk. I have always encouraged my wife to do this.
> 
> Is this a good or bad idea for married women?


There is a concept called "homophilly". It has considerable evidential validity. Effectively it means "birds of a feather stick together".

So - what are the "birds" like that your wife meets up with?

If they are stable, happily married and of good reputation you, your wife and your marriage, will probably benefit from their nights out.

If, however, most of them are divorced, single and searching, married but flirty, in As etc.. I would discourage her involvement for two reasons.

1 - If she is attracted to the company of women who flaunt their infidelity she is already attracted to that element of their lifestyles. If she's attracted she will probably try it.

2 - If she is going out with them because they are the only option she will be assailed with their self-justification, told she is a "fuddy-duddy" and generally made to feel restricted to the outer circle - unless she embraces their behaviour. 

In 1 - she is subconsciously looking for a fling and using the group to facilitate it; In 2 - she may be genuinely determined to remain faithful - but, if her personality is such that acceptance by her peers is too important, her resistance may be eroded almost imperceptibly; a little harmless flirting to show she's not a prude, a dance with a stranger, dancing more raunchily because "everyone does these days", a little kiss won't hurt, making out - "you should see what all the others are doing".............................and all the time she's being told - "he'll never find out", "what he doesn't know won't hurt him", "you'll find it makes your marriage stronger"................

Nothing is inevitable - but how often to you back the 100:1 outsider rather than the evens favourite - and win.


----------



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Um well.....no?
> 
> And no, I don't know women who are using their looks to get things other than dates with men they are attracted to and interested in. I don't know women (personally) who are somehow using their looks to get diamonds or real estate or cars......do you? And if so, how can I get in on this deal? (kidding)


Do you know, or can you imagine, hot people going to a club? The club is near capacity, with a long line, but the hotties jump the queue and get let in by the bouncer based on nothing but their attractiveness?

Or is this just a myth, my clubbing days well in my past?

Best dumb example I could come up with spur of the moment.

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----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Lolz.
> 
> Maybe I'm way off base and the women I consider stunners - - people on average would not consider them as such? All I can go by are the number of men who were after them all the time who said things like "you're gorgeous".
> 
> ...


Mrs. C could pick up boy toys every week and she is 59.

Not really desired by a lot of mature ladies but many could get some young playmates.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Cletus said:


> Do you know, or can you imagine, hot people going to a club? The club is near capacity, with a long line, but the hotties jump the queue and get let in by the bouncer based on nothing but their attractiveness?
> 
> Or is this just a myth, my clubbing days well in my past?
> 
> Best dumb example I could come up with spur of the moment.


No that has never happened to me in real life (also have not seen women walk up to the front and get in that way). But I have really only partied like that here and as you know this isn't the same as LA or Atlanta.

But letting pretty girls into the club benefits _the club owner_ and that is why they do it. I don't really see that as the pretty girls "using" their looks as much as it is the business is using the girls. They know if pretty girls are in there, boys will want to go in there and spend money. The girls are getting the benefit of not standing in line and maybe not paying a cover charge, but that really isn't that big of a deal. The club makes out better on that deal. The girls may not realize they are being used more than they are being gifted, depending on how smart or not they are.

And in that kind of setting, I dunno, I see it as ALL of them trying to look pretty and wanting to go hang around other pretty people. If a couple of them are a little bit prettier and get in earlier, no one else really notices it that much once you get inside. I mean most young people look pretty damn good so 400 of them smashed into a club grinding on each other while 5 of them got in for free because they are "prettier", those 5 will be lost in the crowd anyway.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Cletus said:


> Don't you think that the pretty people use their looks to their advantage?
> 
> Don't we all use the tools we have, be it our brains, sporting gifts, money, or looks to our best advantage?
> 
> ...


Cletus, I think there is something innate in the folks you are describing. Some might realize what they are doing and some might never have noticed.

It took some posters on TAM, you're one of them, to make me get this concept.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



InMyPrime said:


> How do you know he didn’t ‘slip it in’ while dancing? I have seen crazier things happen..


wow, you're right, how did I make it to middle age w/o realizing two fully clothed people in proximity to each other in a crowded place have a perfect opportunity for sex.


> Dancing is a bit like a mating ritual.


To some of us, it really isn't.


> And if the woman participates maybe the guy thinks she is ‘accepting’.


 I don't see how this is relevant.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> The thing was the "he was fun to dance with" line. Some creep probably isn't going to be much fun. Will try to get too close and too handsy and all that.
> 
> Its like when a woman is nice and friendly to a guy and some dudes think that means she wants to sleep with them.
> 
> ...


I'm sure some guys behave themselves on the dance floor but still want to get laid. That doesn't necessarily make them a creep.

I'm w/ you in that dancing is innocent good fun and doesn't amount to infidelity.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> @CraigBesuden
> 
> I hear what you're saying, and it's true our personal experiences color our views. This, while we each educate ourselves about other's experiences that are different than ours can over power, make our personal experiences "seem" more correct or more valid than the "the other's" experiences.
> 
> ...


You seem to credit the un-trusting people here with all of the experience, and dismiss the trusting people as "new drivers". Why?


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> I have the same view. I’ve never had a woman divorce me, cheat on me, or mistreat me. I guess that our experiences color our judgments.


Most that have been cheated on started out where you are now, no reason not to trust the one you are with. 

Then it just happens and hits you upside the head. 

Do all SO’s cheat, no. 

It depends on you wife’s views on the matter.


----------



## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> So, what you learned is correct but what I learned is not? Oh ok, that almost makes sense. I've also never been cheated on so whatever I've been doing for the past 43 years is working better than most on this site. Maybe giving space to my partners has merit.


Or you just don’t know about it......


----------



## SongoftheSouth (Apr 22, 2014)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



MattMatt said:


> No. You were not.


Dude has been getting trashed talked simply cause he mentions he is with an attractive younger gf and trusts her. Personofinterest wrote in response to him

"My husband and I are almost the exact same age, because he doesn't need imature arm candy to make him feel like a man."

BS like this is cool?


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > I don't know what qualifies as "really" pretty. But I've known some strikingly beautiful women and some every day next door stunners. Most of them seem to understand that their outsides will only attract the outsides of someone else, and your insides attract the insides of someone else. So dingbat stunners end up with dumbass guys, * and smart women of substance stunners end up with gorgeous men of substance.*
> ...


But dingbat stunners end up with aging frat boys and gym rats.

And if they are only concerned with where they are going to get their next good bang, they will both do very well. I mean a good bang is still a good bang.

All is balanced in the universe.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I mean a good bang is still a good bang.


I know you are half joking, but I've had some good sex with randos back when I was on serious drugs. I wish more than anyone could understand that my wife was my only. I'm disgusted at myself for my behaviour back then. Even though the sex was good with some of them, I would take all that away if I could in a heartbeat. I'll never forgive myself for my actions. I don't have forgiveness issues with others, but there's things I'll NEVER forgive myself for. That is one of them.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > I mean a good bang is still a good bang.
> ...


I’m not really speaking for myself. I don’t have any regrettable bangs.

I just know a lot of people who have had lots of bangs who don’t regret any of them. Those are typically the ones who end up dingbat stunners and aging gym rats/rock stars.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I’m not really speaking for myself. I don’t have any regrettable bangs.
> 
> I just know a lot of people who have had lots of bangs who don’t regret any of them. Those are typically the ones who end up dingbat stunners and aging gym rats/rock stars.


Yeah I know loads of people in my position who would have forgiven themselves or not think of anything I did as a big deal or anything to regret. It's not like i cheated on anyone. You live and learn and make mistakes as you go and you grow from those mistakes and all that. I think when you make mistakes where you are in control, it's easier to forgive yourself for them. When you lose control of you actions and hand it over to something or someone else, that's where regret comes in to play. Or actions that can't be undone that will forever be there. 

This isn't a religious thing, I just wish my wife was my only and I can't change anything to make it so that is the case. I will never forgive myself for it.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > I’m not really speaking for myself. I don’t have any regrettable bangs.
> ...


Awww. I think I felt that way about my ex at one time. And it was a really nice feeling.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I'm nearly 36 so I'm basically that same age. When I say older women, at 20 a 40 year old IS an older woman. That's their mom's age. To me now, 60+ is an older woman. Basically whatever your mom's age is as a guy, that's an older woman. At 60, you still feel very young.



Good job at backtracking 
The reality is, looks do decline quite rapidly after 40 that is true and it does result in much less attention from men. Women don’t think that, men think that and women surely know this. This is perfectly normal and it may only matter to someone who is not in an LTR. My wife is 37 and TO ME she is very beautiful. I expect this will always be the case but I can’t know. That’s also because I don’t just love her for her looks. However looks is one of the first things a guy will notice when they first look for a prospective partner. Men may say that looks don’t matter in (new) partner selection or that a 50 year old is just as attractive as a 30 year old but that’s mostly because men will say anything to get attention. They will even tell me that I’m talking out of my ass. But reality is in the numbers: much smaller percentage of men will be with older women than vice versa. And that’s not just to do with money or power. It’s also to do with the fact that superficial looks matter less to women on average.


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----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Only about 6% of women are marrying men five years younger or more. That’s a two percentage point increase since 1960. Not exactly a cougar revolution. One in four men are still marrying women five years younger or more. And, though it appears that they’re not marrying women five years younger or more as frequently, the age distribution of the remaining 69% of marriages is left invisible and most of them probably involve women that are somewhat younger than their husbands.

https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2009/10/16/are-more-women-marrying-younger-men-yes-but/


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----------



## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

InMyPrime said:


> Only about 6% of women are marrying men five years younger or more. That’s a two percentage point increase since 1960. Not exactly a cougar revolution. One in four men are still marrying women five years younger or more. And, though it appears that they’re not marrying women five years younger or more as frequently, the age distribution of the remaining 69% of marriages is left invisible and most of them probably involve women that are somewhat younger than their husbands.
> 
> https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2009/10/16/are-more-women-marrying-younger-men-yes-but/
> 
> ...


I married an older woman. 
She’s eighteen days older than me but still.........


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Andy1001 said:


> I married an older woman.
> 
> She’s eighteen days older than me but still.........




You are skewing all the statistics 
Anyway, the point wasn’t to make anyone feel uncomfortable but just to be accurate factually, and also ‘promote’ long term partnerships a little bit more...


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----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> I always wanted to try ghost fishing!>


SunCMars is a pro at this. He has often caught Black Knife Ghostfish. South American natives believe that the ghosts of the departed take up residence in these fish, hence, mike pence, the name. 


However, it seems of late, he is the ghost fish sniggled.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



SongoftheSouth said:


> Dude has been getting trashed talked simply cause he mentions he is with an attractive younger gf and trusts her. Personofinterest wrote in response to him
> 
> "My husband and I are almost the exact same age, because he doesn't need imature arm candy to make him feel like a man."
> 
> BS like this is cool?


Dude did a lot more trash talking added name calling and trying to stir up a fight.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

This thread started off about GNO, now it's morphed into a discussion on toyboys, etc. 

I am all for GNOs, the civilized kind where there is intellectual discussion, catch-up, a nice dinner and a few glasses of wine with no horn-dogs insight.

I think we should start a thread on BNO (Boys Nights Out). I suspect there is less discussion on these because it's a 'taken for granted' right as it were. How many of you on here who do not like the idea of GNOs are more than active with BNOs? Be honest!

IMHO, what is good for the gander is also good for the goose.


----------



## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



InMyPrime said:


> Good job at backtracking
> The reality is, looks do decline quite rapidly after 40 that is true and it does result in much less attention from men. Women don’t think that, men think that and women surely know this. This is perfectly normal and it may only matter to someone who is not in an LTR. My wife is 37 and TO ME she is very beautiful. I expect this will always be the case but I can’t know. That’s also because I don’t just love her for her looks. However looks is one of the first things a guy will notice when they first look for a prospective partner. Men may say that looks don’t matter in (new) partner selection or that a 50 year old is just as attractive as a 30 year old but that’s mostly because men will say anything to get attention. They will even tell me that I’m talking out of my ass. But reality is in the numbers: much smaller percentage of men will be with older women than vice versa. And that’s not just to do with money or power. It’s also to do with the fact that superficial looks matter less to women on average.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Disagree. I think women care about superficial looks just as much as men if not more. I think men have more reasonable standards when it comes to this.


----------



## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

ConanHub said:


> SongoftheSouth said:
> 
> 
> > Dude has been getting trashed talked simply cause he mentions he is with an attractive younger gf and trusts her. Personofinterest wrote in response to him
> ...


Yep

And whining is off topic.

As far as GNO goes, it all depends on where and who.


----------



## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> I married an older woman.
> She’s eighteen days older than me but still.........


In the second instance so did I. with her being 11 months and three weeks older.

On the other hand in the first instance, I am 18 months older.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



aine said:


> This thread started off about GNO, now it's morphed into a discussion on toyboys, etc.
> 
> I am all for GNOs, the civilized kind where there is intellectual discussion, catch-up, a nice dinner and a few glasses of wine with no horn-dogs insight.
> 
> ...


I thought this was another penis thread?!?>


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



SpinyNorman said:


> 1. wow, you're right, how did I make it to middle age w/o realizing two fully clothed people in proximity to each other in a crowded place have a perfect opportunity for sex.
> 
> 2. To some of us, it really isn't.
> 
> 3. I don't see how this is relevant.


Quote:
Originally Posted by InMyPrime View Post
How do you know he didn’t ‘slip it in’ while dancing? I have seen crazier things happen..

wow, you're right, how did I make it to middle age w/o realizing two fully clothed people in proximity to each other in a crowded place have a perfect opportunity for sex.

Quote:
Dancing is a bit like a mating ritual.
To some of us, it really isn't.

Quote:
And if the woman participates maybe the guy thinks she is ‘accepting’.

I don't see how this is relevant.
@SpinyNorman , respectfully, from personal and observed knowledge;

1. It can be

2. It is, unless one isn't dancing the right way. Many slow dances are with partners tight from neck to knees, and many great jams with plenty of bump and grind. My favorite dancing btw. 

3. She is accepting "the first step" even if she's dancing just for fun, when a slow sing comes on right after a jam, she may stay on the floor with the guy. It's up to her on how far to go..

Many women invade the personal space of guys, during dancing, if he's not doing it fast enough and she wants to flirt hard right away. 

She generally wants to be seen as sexy by all, and wants to see others see her as sexy too, as well as she gets to watch others. 
Number one rule in dancing: it's all about the woman having the best time, where she looks good. 
It doesn't make every woman want to have sex that night, but she wants to know others think she could if she wants to. 

The caveat is, it depends on the bar and quality of dance floor. But I'm assuming all know that. 

The caveat is also, all dance floors, have the capability to provide close dancin'. 

I'm not saying all women go to bars and dance to everytime 100% get laid or find an affair partner, because they don't. 

But many many do, to at least meet opposite sex/same sex folks, get or give a cell #, sometimes more, especially if single, and some married. 

These are just the facts.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



BruceBanner said:


> Disagree. I think women care about superficial looks just as much as men if not more. I think men have more reasonable standards when it comes to this.



The numbers don’t bear this out...unless men get better looking with age...
What do you mean by ‘reasonable standards’?


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----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



InMyPrime said:


> The reality is, looks do decline quite rapidly after 40 that is true and it does result in much less attention from men. Women don’t think that, men think that and women surely know this. This is perfectly normal and it may only matter to someone who is not in an LTR. My wife is 37 and TO ME she is very beautiful. I expect this will always be the case but I can’t know. That’s also because I don’t just love her for her looks. However looks is one of the first things a guy will notice when they first look for a prospective partner. Men may say that looks don’t matter in (new) partner selection or that a 50 year old is just as attractive as a 30 year old but that’s mostly because men will say anything to get attention. They will even tell me that I’m talking out of my ass. But reality is in the numbers: much smaller percentage of men will be with older women than vice versa. And that’s not just to do with money or power. It’s also to do with the fact that superficial looks matter less to women on average.


 Actually, if you've been married for a while, then you haven't been in the dating world and the reality is that it actually *has* changed. Men are CONSTANTLY whining now about how they don't meet a woman's physical standards and can't get a date. Women want tall men, they want in-shape men, they want men who are good-looking, etc. etc..The dating message boards are full of men whining that no one will date them or give them the time of day because they don't look a certain way. Guys (and incels) even have a name for this perfect man that women are all searching for and that they can't compete with - they call him "Chad." 

So the old rule about women not caring what a guy looks like may still apply for some, but not for all of us, and certainly not for me. :grin2:

Secondly, I actually thought you were writing about *men* when I saw your comment about how "looks decline rapidly after 40." Because TRUST me, in the _*men over 45*_ category, it's a leper colony out there.

You've never done a search of men aged 48-55 in any random geographical area on a dating site, have you? :rofl:

I have.

And it's not pretty.

I used to refer to it as "the Parade of the Damned."

All my searches would basically return a sea of white hair (the very few guys who even HAD hair, that is). Some guys didn't have grey or white hair, but the majority were happily going grey. Most had the aged and haggard face of an old man and sadly, most were completely out of shape. A portion of them were fat as hell and were sporting the old hippie/slob biker look (gag) with the skullet (balding head, ponytail down the back - gag) and tattoos aplenty (gag). Out of the 'regular' guys, most were pretty unattractive as well. One guy actually looked like a ghoul - I mean LITERALLY. His skin was milk white and he had a small tuft of white hair but you could see his pink scalp right through it, and his lips looked really red against his ghastly pale face. His proclaimed age was 54 and quite frankly, he frightened me. I still believe he was a vampire. He didn't live that horribly far away from me (18 miles I think) so when he contacted me, I couldn't use my usual excuse of only wanting to 'make new friends closer to home' because he WAS fairly local to me. Gah.

Another was using a freakin' picture from the early 80's as his main profile pic (he was on a sidewalk and the K-cars in the background gave it away! LOL) He was pretty attractive in that picture (kind of a Burt Reynolds look-alike!!) and I was _hoping_ he still had all his dark hair and that he hadn't aged too badly, so when he contacted me and sent me his current picture, I completely understood WHY he was using the old picture instead. I don't know HOW Burt Reynolds somehow morphed into Uncle Fester over the course of 30 years, but I'm here to tell you, it happened. Yes indeedy, it happened. :surprise:

Over the course of about a year, out of that parade of *hundreds* of the Damned, I chose to date 5 or 6 of them who _did_ appeal to me, and I ended up marrying the last one I dated. :grin2:

My point is, I was 50 years old at the time and wouldn't date 98% of those men, so why on earth would a 30 year old be interested in them? The only way a 30 year old would date one of them would be if they were extremely good looking (a/k/a "Chad"), they were a doctor, or they were cashed up in some other way. Otherwise, I can't imagine that _any_ woman in her 30's would give ANY of those guys the time of day.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



ConanHub said:


> I thought this was another penis thread?!?>



They all are..keep up 


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----------



## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



She'sStillGotIt said:


> The only way a 30 year old would date one of them would be if they were extremely good looking (a/k/a "Chad"), they were a doctor, or they were cashed up in some other way. Otherwise, I can't imagine that _any_ woman in her 30's would give ANY of those guys the time of day.


Yeah I had a lot of trouble getting my yacht, helicopter, mansion, personal skyscraper, and bank all in the same profile picture.
I decided to use my 50th birthday photo instead. The hard part was I could never figure out why all the chicks called me
a lying douche bag. 

>>>>


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Girl’s Night Out*



She'sStillGotIt said:


> Actually, if you've been married for a while, then you haven't been in the dating world and the reality is that it actually *has* changed. Men are CONSTANTLY whining now about how they don't meet a woman's physical standards and can't get a date. Women want tall men, they want in-shape men, they want men who are good-looking, etc. etc..The dating message boards are full of men whining that no one will date them or give them the time of day because they don't look a certain way. Guys (and incels) even have a name for this perfect man that women are all searching for and that they can't compete with - they call him "Chad."
> 
> So the old rule about women not caring what a guy looks like may still apply for some, but not for all of us, and certainly not for me. :grin2:
> 
> ...




No you are right, I have been married a long time and also have never really looked at the dating sites...I don’t envy you but I am glad you found somebody whose doesn’t appear to be a leper 

Is it possible that a lot of guys don’t really know how to take pictures of themselves? Or also which pictures actually look good? Or what women find attractive? I mean there are guys that would post something like this and think this would attract  .

The other thing is that if your ‘pre-selection’ round consists of flicking through photos, that’s all you will be going by (which is for an average woman maybe 20% of the whole package). Once you get to know someone, a lot of other qualities would take precedence (obviously provided he is not Quasimodo). A lot of women write that they don’t care for biceps and 6-packs or even need a ‘pretty face’. Personality is much more important. You can’t get a feel for it from photos.

I dunno...My point was more about the mischaracterisation of the reality that the average 50+ year old woman will not notice decline of male attention. Or that age doesn’t matter to guys...I don’t like bringing this up because it feels a bit disrespectful...I also think it is mostly irrelevant: i believe a woman will be able to find someone at any age (or man). Nor does it matter to anyone already in a relationship. It only matters if you keep going on different dates: it gets harder and harder. But it doesn’t mean you can’t meet that special somebody.
What I personally notice: more and more women seem to hit on me the older I get. I remember when I was in my late teens and early twenties, the women that I felt were attractive, felt ‘out of my league’ (generally older; late twenties or early thirties). They wouldn’t look twice at me. The one’s that WERE hitting on me, I didn’t find attractive. But that’s just me. Other men may have different experiences.


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----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Oh yeah, forgot to post that picture of everyone’s dream guy 












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----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Actually, if you've been married for a while, then you haven't been in the dating world and the reality is that it actually *has* changed. Men are CONSTANTLY whining now about how they don't meet a woman's physical standards and can't get a date. Women want tall men, they want in-shape men, they want men who are good-looking, etc. etc..The dating message boards are full of men whining that no one will date them or give them the time of day because they don't look a certain way. Guys (and incels) even have a name for this perfect man that women are all searching for and that they can't compete with - they call him "Chad."
> 
> So the old rule about women not caring what a guy looks like may still apply for some, but not for all of us, and certainly not for me. <a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_grin.png" border="0" alt="" title="Big Grin" ></a>
> 
> ...


Dating has been quite interesting for me, too.

It seems like men in the past just had no clue that what they looked like mattered, they were constantly telling each other that women don’t care about looks we apparently cared about security. That was never the case for me so I always wondered what the heck they were talking about. My women friends did not ever, at any age, talk about how they wanted security over looks. We all sat around talking about how hot this one is and that one is back then the same way we do now.

It seems that women over time have always known we need to look our best to be attractive. We are used to it. Men thinking that their looks don’t matter must cause some of them to not bother staying in shape or dressing to impress. 

To hear some of them complain that women are so shallow is just...hysterical to me. After telling us our whole lives that we are only as valuable as we are hot, suddenly they are butt hurt that we won’t give them the time of day unless they are hot, too.

On the dating apps, I do find a silver fox once in awhile or a guy my age who keeps himself in great shape. I would prefer to date guys my age so I try them out first if I see them. But the reality is that there are 20 hot younger dudes for every 1 hot silver fox. So I end up mostly dating the younger ones. What is a girl to do? The younger ones are also filling up by beeline and in box and not giving the older dudes a chance. But hey I can’t tell the older dudes to step it up, it’s too late by then.

The whole idea some guys have that women will stop getting attention at some particular age is just wrong. Men never stop paying attention to women.

My mom just moved into a retirement community and I swear to god the dudes are circling outside her door to check out the new meat. She is 79. It never stops. 

This is what I meant by I don’t understand why some guys under estimate how horny other men are. Some guys may slow down or whatever but trust us that there are so many who never slow down. From my perspective, I do not anticipate or foresee a day when men suddenly don’t hit on me.


----------



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Quote:
> Originally Posted by InMyPrime View Post
> How do you know he didn’t ‘slip it in’ while dancing? I have seen crazier things happen..
> 
> ...


As they used to say “sometimes slow dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire” 😅


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



aine said:


> As they used to say “sometimes slow dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire”




That’s what it is. We once took ballroom dancing classes just before we got married. I remember that they consisted of mostly me standing in the corner and watching my wife being ‘danced at’ and groped by middle aged guys.
I had mixed feelings about that....


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----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



InMyPrime said:


> Good, I would have thought. But depends what kinds of bars and what kinds of friends. And how many drinks.
> It’s important to cultivate and keeping friendships going...note to self.


I agree about developing and continuing friendships for each in the relationship. Although recently, nights out with friends are a less common occurrence for me. I'm more likely to visit a friend at home, maybe out for a dinner, or meet up during the day (markets or walk). Gah! I'm getting old! 

Reflecting on a couple of years ago, I was visiting my friend who is a single mother. We went to dinner, had a few drinks, then onto a karaoke bar. It is quite rare that either of us would go to a bar anyway, and as we live far away, is also rare for us to go out together so it stands out as a memory with her. We entered the karaoke bar and were approached by a guy (single) and his friend (married/separated). My friend and I went to the bar to get our own drinks. However, the guy came up, got the immediate attention of the woman tending the bar and said our drinks were to be on his tab '...whatever they want...' I attempted to pay for my wine, but the bartender wouldn't accept payment. I suspected he was either the owner, promoter, or party-starter. Nothing untoward happened; we mixed with the crowd and it was a good vibe with the karaoke lot. My single friend chatted with the guy a good part of the night, while the married friend and I (also being married) mostly cheered and interacted with the singers. As we were leaving, the guy offered to hail a taxi for us, '..to get us back safely'. I declined and told him we'd get our own taxi. He also didn't need to know where we were heading. And that was it. 

Hubs didn't think I needed to accept the drinks, but it also wasn't a big deal to him. Thinking of the other thread now, BNO, if hubs is out with a friend it's typically for burgers and comedy. So to consider role reversal, it would be strange to hear about a woman shouting his drinks on a tab. Yeah, awkward admission of double standards.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



aine said:


> As they used to say “sometimes slow dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire” 😅


That's what I'm saying. 👍


----------



## Mybabysgotit (Jul 1, 2019)

I try and encourage my wife to go out for girls night, but she never wants to. After about 6 months or so and I know she's at her wits end with the kids, I more or less make her go out with her friends and she does enjoy it when she does. I think a girls night out is a must, as women, like men, need camaraderie and time away from the husband and kids. 

Now, if she were to start going out all the time or getting home excessively late, that would be a deal breaker for me. Anything I didn't sign up for before the marriage and i'm uncomfortable with will be a deal breaker.


----------



## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



InMyPrime said:


> The numbers don’t bear this out...unless men get better looking with age...
> What do you mean by ‘reasonable standards’?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I'm saying the the average man has more reasonable and lax standards when it comes to physical appearance than the average woman.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*

That still doesn't include the Superbowl trophy and Nobel prize. Maybe just stick with a selfie at the top of Everest. 






Mr.Married said:


> Yeah I had a lot of trouble getting my yacht, helicopter, mansion, personal skyscraper, and bank all in the same profile picture.
> I decided to use my 50th birthday photo instead. The hard part was I could never figure out why all the chicks called me
> a lying douche bag.
> 
> >>>>


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



BruceBanner said:


> I'm saying the the average man has more reasonable and lax standards when it comes to physical appearance than the average woman.


Or we could say it like this: the average man is less attractive than the average woman. So the average woman wants an attractive guy and there are less of them than there are attractive women.

I think men as a whole could do a lot to increase their attractiveness and then maybe we wouldn't see this disparity.

I don't really know why men perpetuate the myth that women don't care about looks. They are not helping themselves out this way. Thinking this means they get to disregard how they appear to us, all the while they are MOSTLY concerned with how we appear to them. 

In all my life I have not heard women telling each other "oh yeah, we don't really care about looks that much we just want stability and security". It is always men who say such things, not women.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Quote:
> 
> 
> 1. How do you know he didn’t ‘slip it in’ while dancing? I have seen crazier things happen..
> ...


Having been there I would have given a 99% chance someone would've noticed penetration if it happened.


> 2. Dancing is a bit like a mating ritual.
> To some of us, it really isn't.
> It is, unless one isn't dancing the right way. Many slow dances are with partners tight from neck to knees, and many great jams with plenty of bump and grind. My favorite dancing btw.


Your assertion of the right way carries no weight. I repeat, to some of us, it isn't a mating ritual.


> 3. She is accepting "the first step" even if she's dancing just for fun, when a slow sing comes on right after a jam, she may stay on the floor with the guy. It's up to her on how far to go..
> 
> Many women invade the personal space of guys, during dancing, if he's not doing it fast enough and she wants to flirt hard right away.
> 
> ...


Few things are more chuckle-worthy than guys on the internet telling me what women think, so thanks for that.

Of course some people hook up after dancing. Some others just want to dance, and that does not depend on the dance floor or the bar. Some people care whether other people watch them, some don't.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



SpinyNorman said:


> Having been there I would have given a 99% chance someone would've noticed penetration if it happened.
> 
> Your assertion of the right way carries no weight. I repeat, to some of us, it isn't a mating ritual.
> 
> ...


Outstanding! You're right, I'm wrong, and will go flog myself while simultaneously proclaiming your greatness!

Carry on!


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Or we could say it like this: the average man is less attractive than the average woman. So the average woman wants an attractive guy and there are less of them than there are attractive women.
> 
> I think men as a whole could do a lot to increase their attractiveness and then maybe we wouldn't see this disparity.
> 
> ...


I'm doin' my part!

Fortunately I still have the same full head of hair, now mixed with gray, and keep a stubble beard and mustache, mostly white, well trimmed. Unless on a fishing trip. 

I wish I had a nickel for each of the items / the stuff I've had to put in my hair through the years for the work place, to keep it out of my face.

But many of my associates and friends have no hair or the inherent bald spot, that makes me adjust my thoughts to being appreciative.


----------



## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Outstanding! You're right, I'm wrong, and will go flog myself while simultaneously proclaiming your greatness!
> 
> Carry on!


Wasn't meaning to piss you off, but I feel sure people who dance have different expectations.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I'm doin' my part!
> 
> Fortunately I still have the same full head of hair, now mixed with gray, and keep a stubble beard and mustache, mostly white, well trimmed. Unless on a fishing trip.
> 
> ...


This is just me, but baldness is not a problem. It is not one of the things I think of when I say I wish men would up their hot factor. All kinds of hair and lack of hair is lovely and sexy to me. The past several guys I’ve dated were young and shaved bald and it looked great on them. Whereas my exh has all of his thick beautiful hair at 56, none of which is gray, and he appears to be some kind of hair god (as well as a sex god). Both ways and everything in between are awesome. The important part of hair for guys is the right cut, buzz, shave or style. I like long, too! It just has to work on the person, IMO. So no, aging grandpa hippie long hair isn’t sexy, whereas thick long wave beach bum hair on the right guy is the bomb.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> This is just me, but baldness is not a problem. It is not one of the things I think of when I say I wish men would up their hot factor. All kinds of hair and lack of hair is lovely and sexy to me. The past several guys I’ve dated were young and shaved bald and it looked great on them. Whereas my exh has all of his thick beautiful hair at 56, none of which is gray, and he appears to be some kind of hair god (as well as a sex god). Both ways and everything in between are awesome. The important part of hair for guys is the right cut, buzz, shave or style. I like long, too! It just has to work on the person, IMO. So no, aging grandpa hippie long hair isn’t sexy, whereas thick long wave beach bum hair on the right guy is the bomb.


I'm a slob, but I keep my bulge looking right. Is that good enough?


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

I gotta say, there are definitely some bald guys that I'd almost date!

Sean Connery, Jason Statham, the Rock. It's not all about the hair!

Because statistically most of us guys will reach that point eventually, that's a fact. 😊😊


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I'm a slob, but I keep my bulge looking right. Is that good enough?


No, but your woman has snagged you up so you must be doing something right.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I'm a slob, but I keep my bulge looking right. Is that good enough?


That's a good one!


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> No, but your woman has snagged you up so you must be doing something right.


She's really into sock tans.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I'm glad to see you have a sturdy ankle. I like that on a man.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> She's really into sock tans.


And, you shave your legs. Is that for your wife or speed on the job?:grin2:


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Blondilocks said:


> And, you shave your legs. Is that for your wife or speed on the job?:grin2:


I don't shave my legs haha. It's thinner down by my ankles, probably because of socks, but ive never shaved my legs. I'm not a particularly hairy guy. I have almost no chest hair and I can't grow a beard.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I'm glad to see you have a sturdy ankle. I like that on a man.


I skipped arm day not leg day. 

I can say the body part I get the most attention for is my butt. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you know how you're either a boob guy or a butt guy? Well, it seems like every woman is into a nice butt on a guy. It almost feels universal, much more so than the boobs vs butt debate men have.


----------



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*

Feet!!

NO.:frown2:


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I skipped arm day not leg day.
> 
> I can say the body part I get the most attention for is my butt. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you know how you're either a boob guy or a butt guy? Well, it seems like every woman is into a nice butt on a guy. It almost feels universal, much more so than the boobs vs butt debate men have.


Most men don't have pecs worthy of noticing. If they did, you would see that we like butts AND pecs. And I'm sure you have seen a few ladies go gaga over some huge biceps such as Conan's. 

With my gal friends, it is more like "hey ladies, got a new guy and DAMN he actually has some pecs!" and they say "pictures or it didn't happen!" because it is that rare.

I know, I know....lots of men want to believe we don't go for things like muscles. And lots of women actually don't go for muscles. But if 50% of men suddenly developed visible pecs (just even some nice smallish but firm ones), suddenly you would see women going on and on about them.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> I skipped arm day not leg day.
> 
> 
> 
> I can say the body part I get the most attention for is my butt. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you know how you're either a boob guy or a butt guy? Well, it seems like every woman is into a nice butt on a guy. It almost feels universal, much more so than the boobs vs butt debate men have.




It would be strange if women were into boobs on a guy...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



InMyPrime said:


> It would be strange if women were into boobs on a guy...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Ever watch King of Queens? You think the fat guy with the dime piece is rare? Maybe she likes his man boobs lol.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> Ever watch King of Queens? You think the fat guy with the dime piece is rare? Maybe she likes his man boobs lol.


Mrs. Conan loves playing with my moobs!:grin2:


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Most men don't have pecs worthy of noticing. If they did, you would see that we like butts AND pecs. And I'm sure you have seen a few ladies go gaga over some huge biceps such as Conan's.
> 
> With my gal friends, it is more like "hey ladies, got a new guy and DAMN he actually has some pecs!" and they say "pictures or it didn't happen!" because it is that rare.
> 
> I know, I know....lots of men want to believe we don't go for things like muscles. And lots of women actually don't go for muscles. But if 50% of men suddenly developed visible pecs (just even some nice smallish but firm ones), suddenly you would see women going on and on about them.


That makes sense. I recall women do go gaga over a great core. I used to be way more into it and I'm getting back to it, core muscle. A great set of abs is another. I used to throw on a CD and do pushups through an entire song, then rest during the next song. I had a pretty nice six pack at 14-18. Then I sort of let it go a bit. But with this job I've really started getting back into shape and you and conanhub's thread about getting your ass to the gym, as well as my wife's sex drive and attention from random women has definitely increased a bunch. This has sort of lit a fire under me again to get back into top physical shape for my body type. I'll never have the conanhub biceps, but honestly I'm not sure it would look right on me the way it does on him. Like you mentioned bald and long hair for the right man, on others it doesn't look quite right. I've always had naturally strong legs and lower body. In JR high and HS i would squat with the big boys but would bench on the lower end of middle. Guess that's why I get the butt compliments. But I had a great 6 pack because I wanted one and worked on it really hard. Somewhere beer got in the way of all that around 18/19 years old. Go figure. 

I appreciate the inspiration you two in particular have given me to get my core back where I want it. The ol six pack is nearly completely visible again. My wife's desire has really started to skyrocket. Go figure eh? Complacency leads to low desire. Seems simple but sometimes results speak louder than words, then the words feel like commen sense. 

Thank you FW and Conan! My little guy is also VERY thankful and in debt to you two.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*

You crack me up @TheDudeLebowski !

Every physique has amazing attributes just waiting to emerge with hard work.

Like a lump of raw material in the hands of a good sculptor.

LoL! I'm glad it is paying dividends in the bedroom arena!

As long as other areas of a marriage are solid, getting in better shape will pretty much always increase the sex drive of your spouse!

You seriously need to get a beer with me next time I'm in the DFW area!:grin2:


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



ConanHub said:


> Mrs. Conan loves playing with my moobs!:grin2:


Well that's BS Haha. No doubt you dont have man boobs, but instead, you have the pecks FW is talking about that drives women crazy. I dont know why it isn't obvious to some of us. 

I wish more women were more open about preference. Tooooooooo many women say "I dont care about that stuff. I need a man with a good sense of humor and personality and well rounded..." and all that. 

FW here's a challenging statement for your posts. You say men think women dont care about that stuff. I think theres some bit of "men only think about sex" type thinking and women fall into this idea of not wanting to look as superficial as men because of a desire to feel better than men. You know what I mean? So they say all these other things that attract them to men and basically deny physical attraction because a lot of women want to feel like they are better than men for having these "superficial and shallow desires" like we aren't all human. Sometimes I feel like women hold it over men's heads like they are less shallow than men. So to me, part of the issue you gripe about is of Women's own doing just as much as it is men's idea of what girls want. You know what I mean? Your girlfriends aside. Looking at the big picture, can you see what I'm saying? Shows like King of Queens which I brought up. Big guy, dime piece wife, it's all the other stuff he provides. Just saying FW you blame men, but looking around, seems like women need to expect more as a whole and men as a whole will change to match it, you know?


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



ConanHub said:


> You crack me up @TheDudeLebowski !
> 
> Every physique has amazing attributes just waiting to emerge with hard work.
> 
> ...


My treat man. I know all the spots.


----------



## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

LMAO....this thread has been hilarious to read.

I guess my take on the OP first post.....

It’s OK until it isn’t.....

What I mean is most guys do, and should, give trust to their W’s to live a reasonably independent social life with their friends......until they prove that trust is misplaced.

And I think this is the correct tack to take......unless a woman gives you a reason to doubt her faithfulness, then extending trust is the right thing to do.

That said, there is a reason why many posters in CWI talk about how trust is the one thing that never comes back 100% after a WW screws up....and if a W proves she is not trustworthy and faithful, I don’t really blame her BH if he wants boundaries around his fWW’s GNO.

And many guys will have trust issues with their next partner, even if they D. (Which, by the way, I think is unfair, even if understandable....the new woman didn’t do anything to earn the lack of trust)


----------



## SongoftheSouth (Apr 22, 2014)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



She'sStillGotIt said:


> Actually, if you've been married for a while, then you haven't been in the dating world and the reality is that it actually *has* changed. Men are CONSTANTLY whining now about how they don't meet a woman's physical standards and can't get a date. Women want tall men, they want in-shape men, they want men who are good-looking, etc. etc..The dating message boards are full of men whining that no one will date them or give them the time of day because they don't look a certain way. Guys (and incels) even have a name for this perfect man that women are all searching for and that they can't compete with - they call him "Chad."
> 
> So the old rule about women not caring what a guy looks like may still apply for some, but not for all of us, and certainly not for me. :grin2:
> 
> ...


I cannot stop laughing at the brutal honesty of what you wrote. Parade of the Damned and the ghoul etc.. - Its hysterical cause you see those BS eharmony or what not commercials with paid attractive actors and all the happy BS and then the reality is what you described. That was great.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> ConanHub said:
> 
> 
> > Mrs. Conan loves playing with my moobs!<a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_grin.png" border="0" alt="" title="Big Grin" ></a>
> ...


NO, Watching King of Queens is not “looking around”. That’s watching a show written by men to entertain men about how you can be a fat dude with a hot wife.

In the real cases of fat dudes with hot wives, the wife is not hot for him. That is a TV fantasy. The reality is more like the hot mom in Stranger Things who can barely stop herself from ****ing the pool boy.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> NO, Watching King of Queens is not “looking around”. That’s watching a show written by men to entertain men about how you can be a fat dude with a hot wife.
> 
> In the real cases of fat dudes with hot wives, the wife is not hot for him. That is a TV fantasy. The reality is more like the hot mom in Stranger Things who can barely stop herself from ****ing the pool boy.


Well i mean Billy is a hottie haha. Even a straight guy like me can admit that. I guess I see more women down playing looks than men do. Maybe you see it different. I just think they need to be more vocal about it like you are. It does make a difference to us guys. In my experiences on earth, it seems like the consensus from both men and women in general is men are more shallow when it comes to looks than women are. I think men take that the wrong way. You said before there's more good looking women than men, I agree. And I just called another guy hot so it's not about being heterosexual male. I have eyes that work.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > NO, Watching King of Queens is not “looking around”. That’s watching a show written by men to entertain men about how you can be a fat dude with a hot wife.
> ...


Ok here is a video that influenced me when I was coming of age. This is from the musical Hair.

This song at the time was one of many controversial songs from the play. One of the fun things it touched on was that although at that time you could not be out in the military, there were certainly many gays in the military then and now.

The other thing was the obvious racial divides and challenges the song exhibited.

When I saw it, all I could think was yeah baby, men. (I was about 14 when I first saw it).

At :58 and also at 1:58 you see a black man, a physical specimen, who has the kind of pecs that make me and other women like me want to motor boat them. 

I can’t speak for my sisters who are too polite to say they prefer this. But I will speak for myself and others who DO prefer it and are tired of having to beg men to be more attractive.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z6JCCayPG7k


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Another random anecdote from the single girl....

I have a lover. He is an amazing physical specimen. I call him The Rock, because he is actually built like that.

I ask him to send me a sexy picture. He doesn’t send his ****, he sends his pecs.

He also has incredible biceps, legs, ass and abdomen. But he knows to send a pic of his pecs. He knows that’s one part of him that other guys won’t send a pic of.

But why? Why is this so rare?

Contemplate.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

*Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> Well that's BS Haha. No doubt you dont have man boobs, but instead, you have the pecks FW is talking about that drives women crazy. I dont know why it isn't obvious to some of us.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I still think the majority of women don’t prioritise those things (superficial looks/hot bods, or whatever). Majority look at personality and charisma. There are some women that do go for looks and eye candy, but they are a fairly small proportion and they possibly believe that’s how all women think also because of their circle of friends too. (Same things attract but it can become a bit like being in a bubble). It’s not a bad thing it’s just different. 
Also it depends what one is looking for. Presumably most/all are single and don’t look for LTRs or don’t have them, for whatever reasons, so they may employ different criterias when it comes to partner selection that are important to them. But they don’t speak for all women.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I don't really know why men perpetuate the myth that women don't care about looks. They are not helping themselves out this way. Thinking this means they get to disregard how they appear to us, all the while they are MOSTLY concerned with how we appear to them.


That's why I've said for YEARS that men don't own mirrors. That's been my joke about them for over 20 years.

I started saying that when I got to witness this up close and personal. I was 32 at the time, my girlfriend was 28 and we'd decided to hang out a bit at a popular place for yuppie types/business suits in a nice smaller city about 45 mile from where we live. We saw these two older guys (easily in their very late 40's early 50's) who were out for the evening, wearing their leisure jackets and jeans, wanting to fit in with the young crowd. Neither one of them was attractive. Sorry, but that's the truth. They happened to be sitting just a couple seats over from us so they offered to buy my friend and I a drink and we thanked them but declined. We then watched these two buffoons literally work their way around the room, trying to chat up the ladies and offering them drinks, etc. but no ladies were taking their bait.

They were STILL at the bar surveying what possibilities were available to them when my girlfriend and I left for the night. Honestly, I give them both a lot of credit for trying to get out there, I really do. Instead of sitting home whining, they got out and did their best to mingle and meet the ladies so I give them kudos for that. 

The _*mistake*_ these two made was in thinking they were "marketable" to the late 20's early 30's crowd when they clearly weren't. They looked like they'd wandered out of a Neil Diamond concert and accidentally ended up in the bar, to be honest.

And that's why I say most men don't own mirrors. If these two did, they would have been able to CLEARLY see they were out of their league.



> In all my life I have not heard women telling each other "oh yeah, we don't really care about looks that much we just want stability and security". It is always men who say such things, not women.


Same here. Usually when a woman says that his looks don't matter is *after* she's coupled up or married to him, and his appearance has changed (he gains weight, he loses his hair, etc. etc.) At that point, she loves him no matter what and lots of women will say his looks don't affect how she feels for him.

I think maybe guys are taking a lot of liberties with THAT and stretching it to fit other situations.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*

@She'sStillGotIt,

"I don't know HOW Burt Reynolds somehow morphed into Uncle Fester over the course of 30 years, but I'm here to tell you, it happened. Yes indeedy, it happened."

This so tickled my funny bone! Thank you for a hearty early morning laugh.

As for 'the Parade of the Damned' - girl, it gets scarier and scarier the older you get.:circle:


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Can we please get back on topic of controlling the independence and choices of women regarding how, where, and who they spend their time with away from their men who CLEARLY recognize that when women go out in a pack, it automatically means they will get horny, drunk, and have the wild sex that they would never have with their man; with younger, hotter, dudes than their partners who always behave honorably, are absolutely AWESOME in terms of meeting every need a woman has, even before she know she has it, and know, no good can ever come from a girls night out. Ever.

Please ...

My wife is the lead singer in a band. I've watched drunk guys CONVINCED that if they get up in front of her, bite their lip and start swiveling their hips while spilling bad beer all over themselves ... that hot band chick will TOTALLY want them.

Works zero percent of the time, every time.

I just refocused and derailed this topic with one post.


----------



## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

But, Deejo, we were on topic. Guys are worried about their wimmins gettin' all hot & bothered when out without them and we're saying that the pickings are so slim they have no need to worry.


----------



## 269370 (Dec 17, 2016)

Deejo said:


> Works zero percent of the time, every time.



It only needs to ‘work’ once...Apparently that 1% where Chad shows up, he takes 99% of the wimmins because he is clever enough to have worked out that devoting 6 hours to his biceps at the gym will allow him to ‘corner the market’  




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> My treat man. I know all the spots.


You're making me want to take a trip to the great state of Texas. Never been.


----------



## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



CraigBesuden said:


> I always encourage my wife to keep in contact with her friends. Over time, a number of the moms from the same daycare (along with others) started going out. They usually go out to a restaurant or bar and have drinks and talk. I have always encouraged my wife to do this.
> 
> Is this a good or bad idea for married women?


My W has a group of friends(4) that will celebrate birthdays for each other at restaurants. It is nothing but girl talk at dinner. They do not go to bars. However, they do drink at the dinners. Sometimes the party is held at one of the woman's home. Again, just dinner, drinks and girl talk. It is good for my W to have just girl talk. It is her way of clearing her head of the daily grind. 

For me, I go to car shows. It is guy talk about cars. My W is always welcome to come but usually defers if the weather is to hot. I have no issue with that. For me, it is good time to clear my head of the daily grind.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Yeswecan said:


> For me, I go to car shows. It is guy talk about cars.


You see the 2020 Corvette? They've really outdone themselves. Stunning car, absolutely beautiful!


----------



## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Deejo said:


> Can we please get back on topic of controlling the independence and choices of women regarding how, where, and who they spend their time with away from their men who CLEARLY recognize that when women go out in a pack, it automatically means they will get horny, drunk, and have the wild sex that they would never have with their man; with younger, hotter, dudes than their partners who always behave honorably, are absolutely AWESOME in terms of meeting every need a woman has, even before she know she has it, and know, no good can ever come from a girls night out. Ever.
> 
> Please ...
> 
> ...


Well of course nothing will happen when you're there. It's how people act when you're not watching that you should be worried about.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



ConanHub said:


> Mrs. C could pick up boy toys every week and she is 59.
> 
> Not really desired by a lot of mature ladies but many could get some young playmates.


Uh, I am very, very old, and very roundly chubby.
I am also very cute. Cute, but ancient.

Because I am cute, and because of who I am, who and what I represent, I can get many younger lady leprechauns, and some many lady humans.

I can get them. Get them in my very large and fluffy bed....

I cannot keep them, nor can a fifty nine year old women 'normally' keep a twenty something man.
Not just on her looks.
Not keep them for long.

Getting and keeping are two different things.

..........................................................................

Normality-

The younger men want longevity in a relationship, one leading to marriage
The younger women want longevity in a relationship, one leading to marriage.

The younger men want to go out in public with their chosen female. 
The younger ladies want to go out in public with their chosen man.

Both genders, at some point, want to bring their 'choice' home to their family.


Sex is just that, it does not always indicate true love and represent true need, other then sexual comfort.

Men and women love sex, no problem, so do I at my age.

The fact that women of all ages can get a men of all ages in bed does not really mean anything other than ladies remain desirable.
This is a good thing. Ladies have what a man needs, any lady is a gem.

The fact that men cannot equally get ladies of all ages in bed does not mean they have no value, or less value. It means they have less sexual desirability.
This is life and nothing else. Our bodies are our temples, some temples are better fitted out.

Some bodies were born in better, more desirable condition, from some legal and young age.
Some bodily temples are better taken care of, and better managed.
Some bodily temples are/were never going to be posh. You were born naked, you leave the world naked.


King Brian-


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



BruceBanner said:


> Well of course nothing will happen when you're there. It's how people act when you're not watching that you should be worried about.


Good thing I wouldn't marry anyone with questionable integrity. Why do doctors and lawyers cheat so much? Bwaaaaahahhahahhahahahha!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



SunCMars said:


> Uh, I am very, very old, and very roundly chubby.
> I am also very cute. Cute, but ancient.
> 
> Because I am cute, and because of who I am, who and what I represent, I can get many younger lady leprechauns, and some many lady humans.
> ...



Regarding Conan’s wife, she is 12 years older than Conan and she is most definitely keeping him. They have been married something like 20 years. Just sayin’.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Regarding Conan’s wife, she is 12 years older than Conan and she is most definitely keeping him. They have been married something like 20 years. Just sayin’.


Bet she outlives him too. You can only hope eh conan?


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*

​
So...There are "girls night out". And there are clear lines of communication. My bout of dealing with infidelity came from work. Not a horny bar fly. But as the millenials say...YMMV.

My wife goes with her zumba classmates and goes for tacos once a month. Sometimes less. I think its cool, because she gets friends with others outside her normal circle. And can do something outside her normal comfort zone. I also feel its a step in the direction for us to be with gaining trust back and being ourselves again. Besides, if ANYTHING were going to happen, it could take place anywhere. Not just on the GNO... 

My wife does go to bars with her sisters and brother occasionally, but again, the communication lines are open. If they weren't, the trip would be non-existant. Period. It has to do with respect for the partner. Not just looking out for "Chad". (Even though, he is real!) lol


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



BruceBanner said:


> Well of course nothing will happen when you're there. It's how people act when you're not watching that you should be worried about.


I'm too arrogant to worry, and too old to care.

She knows exactly what my response will be to infidelity, whether it takes place at GNO, or at a Bible study.


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## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> Good thing I wouldn't marry anyone with questionable integrity. Why do doctors and lawyers cheat so much? Bwaaaaahahhahahhahahahha!


Many people with that same sentiment get married and end up surprised. I don't think many people knowingly get married to people with questionable integrity. Also what do doctors and lawyers have to do with this? Do you encounter a lot of them?


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm a little confused by the idea that a girls night out turns into debauchery and cheating. I mean if you are going to cheat, why do it in front of a bunch of friends where the story might get out?

I can see a little flirting dancing and fun, but it doesn't seem a situation for serious cheating.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



BruceBanner said:


> Many people with that same sentiment get married and end up surprised. I don't think many people knowingly get married to people with questionable integrity. Also what do doctors and lawyers have to do with this? Do you encounter a lot of them?


Doctors and lawyers. People with low integrity. Same difference.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Ok here is a video that influenced me when I was coming of age. This is from the musical Hair.
> 
> This song at the time was one of many controversial songs from the play. One of the fun things it touched on was that although at that time you could not be out in the military, there were certainly many gays in the military then and now.
> 
> ...


Hahaha!

Black boys are so delicious and white boys are so pretty!

Liked the men singing too. Gay indeed!:grin2:


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Regarding Conan’s wife, she is 12 years older than Conan and she is most definitely keeping him. They have been married something like 20 years. Just sayin’.


Thank you. She has me by 11, we will be celebrating 24 years married in a couple weeks and 28 since our first date.:smile2:


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> Bet she outlives him too. You can only hope eh conan?


She probably will!


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## BruceBanner (May 6, 2018)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



uhtred said:


> I'm a little confused by the idea that a girls night out turns into debauchery and cheating. I mean if you are going to cheat, why do it in front of a bunch of friends where the story might get out?
> 
> I can see a little flirting dancing and fun, but it doesn't seem a situation for serious cheating.


Not likely. They're your partner's friends not your friends.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Regarding Conan’s wife, she is 12 years older than Conan and she is most definitely keeping him. They have been married something like 20 years. Just sayin’.


Oh, I agree! :smile2:
Conan's wife is a wise lady.

She will likely (and normally) leave this life prior to him. This is a trade-off, one she has no problem with.
And Conan has come to terms with this.
All good.

However, my young Dear Lady, this is not normality, that is/was my point. 
My only point.

.........................................................................................................

I have one young lady leprechaun who wants to marry me.
I am many, many hundreds of years her senior. 

I have declined to marry her for that reason. I wish to make no lady a widow.
I still enjoy bouncing her on my bed. 
Knowing this, she still comes by, now and then.

Being sexually desirable is just that.
To hold and keep a SO is another matter, one having more factors to consider. 

Sex is certainly good, long term marriage 'can' be better, 'can' be great and certainly more fulfilling, overall. 
Sex leads to orgasm, a long term marriage or exclusive pairing can lead to repeated great times.

_A Girl's Night Out_ can lead to a romp or just some fun times. Single ladies are relatively free to end those nights as they choose. 
Married ladies have the same choice.

Married or not, one actions, done so, while out with ones friends, will impact ones future and one's image if one's actions, in some way, others find spurious or improper, in a general sense. 
Married ladies should remember that they are married and they should respect their marriage at all times.

Single, unattached ladies should remember that any untoward actions that are performed in a public setting will be remembered by someone.
Married ladies have the same consequences.


King Brian-


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

SunCMars said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > Regarding Conan’s wife, she is 12 years older than Conan and she is most definitely keeping him. They have been married something like 20 years. Just sayin’.
> ...


As usual I’m not entirely sure what all your post is about. But as for Mrs. C, since women normally outlive men by about 6 years, I don’t think she gave much thought or “come to terms with” that she will necessarily die before he does. They will both live long healthy lives and no one will be leaving all that long before the other.

I’m rejecting the notion that there is anything unusual about this even if there is statistically more men who are older than their wives.

People don’t make choices considering their end of life very often when they mate up in their 20’s and 30’s.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> As usual I’m not entirely sure what all your post is about. But as for Mrs. C, since women normally outlive men by about 6 years, I don’t think she gave much thought or “come to terms with” that she will necessarily die before he does. They will both live long healthy lives and no one will be leaving all that long before the other.
> 
> I’m rejecting the notion that there is anything unusual about this even if there is statistically more men who are older than their wives.
> 
> People don’t make choices considering their end of life very often when they mate up in their 20’s and 30’s.


Accurate. Mrs. Conan wasn't thinking at all past getting her clothes off and making animal noises. She eventually fell for more than my bedroom presentation and we had a serious talk about values and goals.

Life expectancy never figured into the equation. We are both in great shape and barring the unforseen, I'll probably hit early 80's and her late 80's to early 90's based on our direct relative's lifespans. We take better care of ourselves than the majority of our family anyway.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



ConanHub said:


> Accurate. Mrs. Conan wasn't thinking at all past getting her clothes off and making animal noises. She eventually fell for more than my bedroom presentation and we had a serious talk about values and goals.
> 
> Life expectancy never figured into the equation. We are both in great shape and barring the unforseen, I'll probably hit early 80's and her late 80's to early 90's based on our direct relative's lifespans. We take better care of ourselves than the majority of our family anyway.


Men make plans and god laughs.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> Men make plans and god laughs.


That's why I always ask Him what He thinks. :wink2:


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



ConanHub said:


> That's why I always ask Him what He thinks. :wink2:


If he ever answers tell him there’s a couple of things that I’d like him to clear up for me.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> Regarding Conan’s wife, she is 12 years older than Conan and she is most definitely keeping him. They have been married something like 20 years. Just sayin’.


NAXALT strikes again. 
It's easy to point out an exception to a rule but it doesn't change the rule.



BruceBanner said:


> Many people with that same sentiment get married and end up surprised. I don't think many people knowingly get married to people with questionable integrity. Also what do doctors and lawyers have to do with this? Do you encounter a lot of them?


 Yup! It's almost as if the people here don't read the stories here. A lot of chest-pounding, ****-measuring, and naivety going on in this thread. If any of you honestly think bad things never happen on GNOs you must have compartmentalized the huge portion of WW threads. Poor decision making, Alcohol and peer pressure just like High School. Sure it doesn't happen every time but to deny or downplay that it does is disingenuous. I'm absolutely sure none of the guys on this board that had it happen to them married their wives expecting it would. I'd bet that a few here that are sure it hasn't happened are wrong as well.


_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Faithful Wife said:
> 
> 
> > Regarding Conan’s wife, she is 12 years older than Conan and she is most definitely keeping him. They have been married something like 20 years. Just sayin’.
> ...


I’m confused because I don’t think there is anyone who doubts that cheating happens on nights out. Some of us are giving examples of bad behavior specifically to let others know what goes on out there. We have also had examples here of breakups occurring over nights out. 

No one is naively saying that nights out are always innocent.

Some are reporting about actual innocent nights out like a movie or dinner with a couple of friends. Are you talking about those ones? Are you saying people are naive to not be worried about those?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I’m confused because I don’t think there is anyone who doubts that cheating happens on nights out. Some of us are giving examples of bad behavior specifically to let others know what goes on out there. We have also had examples here of breakups occurring over nights out.
> 
> No one is naively saying that nights out are always innocent.
> 
> Some are reporting about actual innocent nights out like a movie or dinner with a couple of friends. Are you talking about those ones? Are you saying people are naive to not be worried about those?


Struck the same cord with me. You have insight that I agreed with and many others posted in the same theme.

NAXALT????? Don't even know?


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



rubix cubed said:


> naxalt strikes again.
> It's easy to point out an exception to a rule but it doesn't change the rule.
> 
> 
> ...


naxalt?


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Andy1001 said:


> If he ever answers tell him there’s a couple of things that I’d like him to clear up for me.


The answers are there. Sometimes we dont do a good job at listening for them.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*

To be clear what I was talking about, I and I assume Conan also, wishes to part this earth before our wives because we dont to live without them. I wasnt thinking of life expectancy, I was thinking of my own selfish desires. Or is it selfless to want them to live longer? I dont know. Maybe both?


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



ConanHub said:


> naxalt?


https://poseidonawoke.wordpress.com/2016/04/02/naxalt-tldr/


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Rubix Cubed said:


> NAXALT strikes again.
> It's easy to point out an exception to a rule but it doesn't change the rule.
> 
> 
> ...


I read the stories. I can see clearly how many people are stuck indefinitely in the healing process unable to move past the forgiveness stage. Jaded. Damaged goods. Hopefully some will eventually be able to move on and heal properly.


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## skerzoid (Feb 7, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Talk2Me said:


> I've never met a group of people that is so untrusting as I have on this site. Infidelity will happen only if you're with the wrong person. The more you try controlling someone the more likely they will sneak around.


There are many stories of seemingly "perfect marriages" sliding into infidelity for unreasonable reasons. "Everyone thought we were the perfect couple". How many times have we seen one partner or the other **** up a seemingly wonderful marriage and not be able to come up with a reason why they did it, and beg forgiveness from their BS. 

Anyone can fall into infidelity under certain circumstances. Human beings are guided by a million years of biological instinct. Thats why Jesus spoke of the sins of the "flesh". Sometimes our spirits are in the right place but our "flesh" betrays our best intentions. We all are weak.

GNO & BNO stories are epic. Lust, Alcohol, & a desire to impress others who may be egging us on, have ruined many a marriage.

You are coming across as someone who is "Cruising' for a Bruisin'". Your trust in your partner is admirable to a point, but too many people ens up divorced saying "I thought my my spouse would never betray me, not in a million years."


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



Faithful Wife said:


> I’m confused because I don’t think there is anyone who doubts that cheating happens on nights out. Some of us are giving examples of bad behavior specifically to let others know what goes on out there. We have also had examples here of breakups occurring over nights out.
> 
> No one is naively saying that nights out are always innocent.
> 
> Some are reporting about *actual innocent nights out like a movie or dinner with a couple of friends. Are you talking about those ones?* Are you saying people are naive to not be worried about those?


 I'm talking about those posters who conflate these "good" nights as the mean when around here they are NOT, and that is solely because of the poor behavior the collective here has either endured or committed. Let's not even get into all of the ridiculous thread drifts that just drove that point even harder.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

LOL

Damaged people make me sad

I don't party. I do occasionally have lunch with an old female friend or 3, where we talk, maybe paint at one of those pottery places, test, even have Bible study.

So no......I'm not going to stop doing thise things.

And because my husband is normal, he's fine with that.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



personofinterest said:


> Damaged people make me sad


Indeed. I am damaged as well. My own forgiveness issues directed at myself instead of others. Guess I can't be to harsh, but I get a little defensive when the sins of an individual are said to be the mean for all and not the exception. Just as my own forgiveness issues cause a lack of trust in self, forgiveness issues with others manifest themselves in a severe lack of trust in others. Which leads to a futile attempt to control others. 

The night out this is strange also. I can go out at noon, cheat, and be home to make dinner for the family. Not sure why the time of day has anything to do with it.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> personofinterest said:
> 
> 
> > Damaged people make me sad
> ...


Exactly

Bottom line, we are all damaged. But those who can reach the point where they are responsible for healing rather than railing at a portion of the world as a victim fare much better and tend to treat others better as well.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

*Re: Girl’s Night Out*



TheDudeLebowski said:


> Indeed. I am damaged as well. My own forgiveness issues directed at myself instead of others. Guess I can't be to harsh, but I get a little defensive when the sins of an individual are said to be the mean for all and not the exception. Just as my own forgiveness issues cause a lack of trust in self, forgiveness issues with others manifest themselves in a severe lack of trust in others. Which leads to a futile attempt to control others.
> 
> The night out this is strange also. I can go out at noon, cheat, and be home to make dinner for the family. Not sure why the time of day has anything to do with it.


The night doesn't necessarily have to do with cheating per se, but the place/the environment and the drinks associated with that time of the day and place .... encourage the feeling of "lust" and "sin" - therefore including the "thrill" in all this - which usually is higher in night-clubs, therefore Night.


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