# Porn addiction myth



## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Is porn addiction real I've been doing some thinking on the subject for quite some time and after a great deal of research and personal reflection I really cannot see how anyone can be addicted to pornography except for maybe a fringe minority but more and more men are being diagnosed or "labeled" as porn addicts so whats really going on here Is there actually an addiction or is it just a new form of shaming those who indulge in sexual self gratification 


Your opinion


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

For something to be an addiction there needs to be a physiological response to the lack of that thing. Since sex involves dopamine and oxytocin it is quite possible that many have withdrawal to orgasms facilitated by porn which would make porn addiction a reality for some.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

I do think it's a legit addiction for some people, yes.

But I do think that plenty of people, mainly men, are arm chair diagnosed with having a porn "addiction" from partners who confuse their disgust with a habit as equaling an addiction. Plenty of outside observers do the same, often based off very limited information, which is pretty typical around here. Not much different than people confusing someone who likes to drink, or drinks frequently, with an actual alcoholic. 

And I think it's far more an issue among heterosexual couples. Porn doesn't seem to have remotely the same stigma, or claims of addiction, among male gay and lesbian relationships.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

I think a lot of it is just general misconceptions and stigmas about human sexuality I have never had a problem with porn in any of my past relationships in some cases I actually watch porn films with a few of my girlfriends at the time which led to some pretty enjoyable experiences you see this is the problem that I have with the whole porn addiction thing you take one couple who watch porn together no problems but you take a different couple and if the guys watching porn occasionally he's an addict I don't get it :scratchhead:


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

There's a simple equation to determine a porn addict that was thunk up by geniuses.

- Long hours sat at a computer with your pants round your ankles (divided by) Total hours sat at computer (X 100).

= 0 - 20%. Not an addict.



= 80 - 100%. Addict.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ukdanielj (Oct 24, 2014)

I believe you are framing the question in the wrong way. The problem with pornography is that it takes over people's reasonable sexual expectations and replaces them with needed increasingly "intense" stimulus as the "normal" levels of stimulus can no longer be maintained. This is well-documented. I genuinely believe that many men's complaints of lack of desire, lack of performance, lack of enjoyment, etc., can be traced back to pornography usage--whether you call it an "addiction" or not.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

ukdanielj said:


> This is well-documented.


It is? I for one would be very interested to see the double blind studies documenting this effect.

Let's take this article

It's the absolute worst kind of pseudo-science around. No experiments, no actual studies, but a couple of referenced surveys and a whole bunch of manufactured correlation = causation. And it's on a so-called scientific web site. 

I reiterate that this is not a defense of pornography, but rather a condemnation of sloppy science and fear mongering. If porn is going to spell the doom of our species, then it's best we know it and understand it, then accept the facts. But facts today on this particular issue seem to fall into the wild conjecture category.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

Women don't like it = it's wrong. 

People that do wrong things aren't responsible for their own behavior therefore, they are addicted.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Buddy400 said:


> *Women don't like it = it's wrong.*
> 
> People that do wrong things aren't responsible for their own behavior therefore, they are addicted.


I agree I found this article most enlightening


Porn Addict or Selfish Bastard? Life Is More Complicated Than That | Psychology Today


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

xakulax said:


> Is porn addiction real I've been doing some thinking on the subject for quite some time and after a great deal of research and personal reflection I really cannot see how anyone can be addicted to pornography except for maybe a fringe minority but more and more men are being diagnosed or "labeled" as porn addicts so whats really going on here Is there actually an addiction or is it just a new form of shaming those who indulge in sexual self gratification
> 
> 
> Your opinion


Not necessarily true. If porn represents a body type or sex acts or level of lust you don't get in "real life", you may be addicted to viewing it and put alot less of your energy into real life sex.

It blunts the highs from real sex. 

Personally my babe is hotter than porn, so it doesn't do it to me, but if I kept wacking off to porn, I would train my brain to associate porn with good feelings, and I personally lose drive for the real thing when I do it.

Just like I think a single guy not getting sex, wacking off to porn or even viewing it is about the worst thing he can do. He needs to reshape his feedback loop so that if he's not having sex that he puts himself into situations so that he may be having sex. Porn kills that.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Personally my babe is hotter than porn, so it doesn't do it to me, but if I kept wacking off to porn, I would train my brain to associate porn with good feelings, and I personally lose drive for the real thing when I do it.


And that's you. But don't confuse your individual experience for some universal truth.

I don't watch much porn, and overall in life haven't been a heavy porn watcher. But I actually was during the first couple years of our marriage. And the result was the opposite of what you're suggesting. The more porn I watched, the more sex I wanted. Because my body has always been that way; feed it sexually often, it's hungry even more.

I never lost the drive for the "real thing", porn only exacerbated my drive for both masturbation and the "real thing". What dulls my drive is abstinence. 

We're all different.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

A person can determine whether or not porn addiction is real by using basic addiction criteria used for all potential addiction patients.

*Tolerance*: Does the patient tend to need more of the drug over time to get the same effect? (cater to porn...do they need more porn or more shocking types of porn to get off over time to get the same effect as when they first started viewing basic porn?)

*Withdrawal symptoms*: Does the patient experience withdrawal symptoms when he or she does not use the drug? (does the person think about rushing home so they can use porn? do they take breaks at work to use porn? have they lost the ability to perform sexually without porn? )
*
Continued use of drug despite harm*: Is the patient experiencing physical or psychological harm from the drug? (Goes back to inability to get off unless using porn. Are they alienating their spouse by sneaking porn? )

*Loss of control*: Does the patient take the drug in larger amounts, or for longer than planned? (Do they lose track of time looking at porn or trying to find something to use to get off? )

*Attempts to cut down*: Has the patient made a conscious, but unsuccessful, effort to reduce his or her drug use? (self explanatory. We have several folks here who admit they've tried cutting back on porn but couldn't.)
*
Salience*: Does the patient spend significant time obtaining or thinking about the drug, or recovering from its effects? 

*Reduced involvement*: Has the patient given up or reduced his or her involvement in social, occupational or recreational activities due to the drug?

Basically just replace drug with porn and if you or someone you know meets several of these things then it's likely they have a problem.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I think people who are prone to addictive behaviors can get "addicted" to pretty much anything. My ex-husband is a smoker, a "functioning alcoholic, a "problem gambler", and an "adrenaline junky". What all that basically boils down to is that he tends to get really obsessive about things, gets into them heavily to the exclusion of all else at the time, needs more or higher levels of whatever to keep the rush going, is a real ass when he's denied his fix. While not all these things are likely true addictions in a physical sense, the behaviors he displays surrounding them fit the "addict" mold very well. 

I imagine porn can work the same way. Someone might display addictive behaviors surrounding heavy long-term porn usage whether or not we can all agree that it's a true addiction in the clinical sense. Basically, if you can't function like a normal person without your drug of choice - whether it's alcohol, gambling, or porn - then you're acting like an addict. 

By the way, no, I don't think every man who looks at porn is in dire danger of becoming a porn addict. Just as I don't think that every person who drinks is in imminent danger of becoming an alcoholic. But I do think that it's possible for people who have addictive tendencies to display addictive behaviors surrounding porn.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I have watched so much porn in my life I should be blind.

Or at the very least my eyes should bleed every now and then.

I would NEVER take watching over actually doing it for real.

and I'm willing to bet MOST men would rather the real thing to. The idea that an object, a form of media has that much power over peoples lives is not new. It's the same basic theory people have that listening to rap makes kids crazy psychopaths. Or kids that play too many video games will shoot up places.

Its just easier to attribut bad behaviour to a nameless, faceless aggressor than actually searching to the root of a problem.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

When we talk porn addiction it's always men. We all know women are watching it yet you never hear a woman is porn addict. 
Is porn addiction real? Yes, but some here would make you believe any man who ever laid eyes on it is an addict. It's not the case. Like sinister stated its so easy to label something than taking a long hard look at other roots of a problem.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

jaquen said:


> And that's you. But don't confuse your individual experience for some universal truth.
> 
> I don't watch much porn, and overall in life haven't been a heavy porn watcher. But I actually was during the first couple years of our marriage. And the result was the opposite of what you're suggesting. The more porn I watched, the more sex I wanted. Because my body has always been that way; feed it sexually often, it's hungry even more.
> 
> ...


Completely agree. It's like jump starting a battery for me.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I have a porn addiction but it is related to child sexual trauma. I have also talked with a female addict. It does happen. I do believe some people do blame any choice they make on an addiction or syndrome, etc...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

People can be addicted to anything that stimulates your pleasure/reward response. That's why gambling addiction exists.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

I only view porn during my heroin binges so I really can't say.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

I recall a family friend. His wife found some porn, and the Church ladies started lamenting his porn addiction. Just like that. They weren't psychologists. They had no idea how extensive it was. Just 'slap': there is your label. Wear that Purple P!

So even at the age of 22, I saw it as contrived BS. Shaming.


HOWEVER, I cannot believe every single woman who was here was some kind of overly moralizing and labeling lChurch lady (I spent a lot of time with them) And they way they described some of the behavior...well...if accurate, addiction is a fit term.

So here is a simple question set to determine credibility on the subject.

Do you like porn, yes or no?

Do you believe in porn addiction, yes or no?

If the answer to both questions isn't the same, it is very likely you are too biased to take your assertions seriously.

Since I CAN answer both in the affirmative, you should all listen to me


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Porn == male masturbation aide

Vibrator == female masturbation aide

Addiction == ?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

michzz said:


> Porn == male masturbation aide
> 
> Vibrator == female masturbation aide
> 
> Addiction == ?


A handy cam shot porn flick with three midgets, a kiddie pool of creamed corn, the Bearded Lady and oh yeah, a double ended 4 stroke Briggs and Stratton vibrator.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

michzz said:


> Porn == male masturbation aide
> 
> Vibrator == female masturbation aide
> 
> Addiction == ?



It's even more stranger when a wife publicly and openly diagnosis her husband with porn addiction but yet has no problem talking to her friend about the latest chapter of 50 shades of grey hypocritical much


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

xakulax said:


> It's even more stranger when a wife publicly and openly diagnosis her husband with porn addiction but yet has no problem talking to her friend about the latest chapter of 50 shades of grey hypocritical much


As long as she isn't making this information available in real-life.

Some people will put your stuff out there like that, to get you to stop doing it.


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## Buddy400 (Aug 30, 2014)

xakulax said:


> I agree I found this article most enlightening
> 
> 
> Porn Addict or Selfish Bastard? Life Is More Complicated Than That | Psychology Today


Excellent link! Adding that to my library.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Fozzy said:


> People can be addicted to anything that stimulates your pleasure/reward response. That's why gambling addiction exists.


That's odd... I don't remember ever getting "rewards" from gambling. I always leave with less than I went in with.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

I think the key point in any relationship is the one in Scarlet's 'clinical addiction' list regarding whether the behaviour causes harm.

Whether it be gambling, alcohol or porn,, if it pìsses off your SO it's causing harm so reflects poorly on you if you do it.


Many women (since it's typically them cited as the objectors) don't mind their partners watching porn so long as it's not interfering with their needs being met.

Everyone needs their alone time. So long as their 'quirky little hobbies' don't interfere with together time it's not worth making an issue of them.

Knitting is an addiction if it negatively impacts a relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lovesmanis (Oct 9, 2014)

It all depends on your needs. 

I dont care if my men are looking at other women. I know it is natural and I am secure with that.

Ask a woman who has no idea about sexuality and see what your answer is...


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
to me the most important test for an "addiction" is if the "addict", when not under the influence, feels like they want to stop but are unable to. The lack of control is key.

I have a close friend who is a gambling addict. The describe the steering wheel of the car seeming to by itself turn them into a casino lot. They know that they will lose all the money they have, but go in anyway.

I suspect that most people who view porn are not addicts but some are.


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Flying_Dutchman said:


> Knitting is an addiction if it negatively impacts a relationship.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I once blew a homeless dude for some yarn and a crocheting needle.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Healer said:


> I once blew a homeless dude for some yarn and a crocheting needle.


lol - That's some addiction. What did the other homeless dudes give you? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Flying_Dutchman said:


> lol - That's some addiction. What did the other homeless dudes give you?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Gonorrhea.


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## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Healer said:


> Gonorrhea.


:-D
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Flying_Dutchman said:


> :-D
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WandaJ (Aug 5, 2014)

I think if you prefer watching porn, followed by DIY, while you have willing partner in next room, it's either addiction, or things are not going well between two of you. 

other than that watch all you want


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Healer said:


> I once blew a homeless dude for some yarn and a crocheting needle.



Congratulation this is the first time I couldn't find a meme on something :lol:


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

WandaJ said:


> while you have willing partner in next room,


Next time that situation exists I'll test that theory.

Don't hold your breath.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

My wife is Facebook friends with some woman she knew in high school. Recently, this woman went on a VERY public tirade on Facebook about her husband whom she accused of being a porn addict because she caught the guy looking ONCE. She went ON and ON over the course of months, even when her own son took to Facebook and begged her to stop trashing his dad. All the while, her own personal amen corner of clucking hens cheered her on.

Yet, he was the one with a problem.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

badsanta said:


> I always find religious fanatics with a harsh take on porn to be somewhat entertaining. My favorite was this self-proclaimed priest that did not like porn controlling his life. In order to prove himself, he forced himself to watch porn and masturbate repeatedly for five times in a row even though it hurt just to prove to porn that "he" was the one in control. I was like does this guy not know that there is a fetish for just that kind of stuff?
> 
> Anyway, the best way to determine if you have a porn addiction in my opinion is to just ask your wife.* If what you are doing is hurting her and you can not stop, then it is something you will want to take seriously*!
> 
> ...



See that's where I have a problem why is it hurting her why does she feel threatened by a two-dimensional image and a right or left hand I think this is more of a self esteem and self value issue more than anything else I'm not saying every single case is this way I do believe some people may have a legitimate problem but I believe the vast majority of men are being falsely labeled with an addiction. 


One thing still doesn't make any sense to me the hypocrisy of it all women reading erotic novels and watch sexual explicit television shows and films all the time women will even openly discuss some of the sexual explicit things that they have read in book clubs or other social functions But garner no criticism there is no one being labeled with an erotic novel addiction so what's going on here


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

xakulax said:


> See that's where I have a problem why is it hurting her why does she feel threatened by a two-dimensional image and a right or left hand I think this is more of a self esteem and self value issue more than anything else I'm not saying every single case is this way I do believe some people may have a legitimate problem but I believe the vast majority of men are being falsely labeled with an addiction.
> 
> 
> One thing still doesn't make any sense to me the hypocrisy of it all women reading erotic novels and watch sexual explicit television shows and films all the time women will even openly discuss some of the sexual explicit things that they have read in book clubs or other social functions But garner no criticism there is no one being labeled with an erotic novel addiction so what's going on here


Have you been labeled an addict? I agree with what you are saying. More women are actually starting to be consumers of porn anyway. I think you might be talking about really religious societies.

I am a Christian but I don't think most people have an addiction if they watch porn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

P.S. Many women and some men do not want pornography in their sex lives and do feel insecure or a little violated when their partner crosses that line. Having a porn boundary is just as legitimate as any other sexual boundary.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Have you been labeled an addict? I agree with what you are saying. More women are actually starting to be consumers of porn anyway. I think you might be talking about really religious societies.
> 
> I am a Christian but I don't think most people have an addiction if they watch porn.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



No I haven't been labeled I just don't like hypocrisy


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Fozzy said:


> My wife is Facebook friends with some woman she knew in high school. Recently, this woman went on a VERY public tirade on Facebook about her husband whom she accused of being a porn addict because she caught the guy looking ONCE. She went ON and ON over the course of months, even when her own son took to Facebook and begged her to stop trashing his dad. All the while, her own personal amen corner of clucking hens cheered her on.
> 
> Yet, he was the one with a problem.


His fault if he stayed with such a bitter, disrespectful shrew.


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## MachoMcCoy (Oct 20, 2014)

Pot is supposedly not addictive either. I beg to differ.


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## always_alone (Dec 11, 2012)

xakulax said:


> See that's where I have a problem why is it hurting her why does she feel threatened by a two-dimensional image and a right or left hand I think this is more of a self esteem and self value issue more than anything else I'm not saying every single case is this way I do believe some people may have a legitimate problem but I believe the vast majority of men are being falsely labeled with an addiction.


It hurts when the porn is chosen over the willing partner, which happens often enough.

Or when a partner engages in sexual exploration and novelty seeking, without involving the other

Or when what is viewed becomes the bar to meet, irrespective of the partner's likes and dislikes, sexual interests.

Or when it is known that the viewer prefers what is seen on screen, but had to settle for less because they couldn't draw any better.

Or when one partner has made efforts to keep focused on the relationship and monogamy, only to find out their partner had no interest in extending the same courtesy

Or when one partner is being judged as failing to meet new standards of looks or acts or set by others

And in these sorts of situations,the hurt and betrayal would be about the same whether the medium was porn or erotic novels. No one wants to be second class to a fantasy.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

always_alone said:


> It hurts when the porn is chosen over the willing partner, which happens often enough.
> 
> Or when a partner engages in sexual exploration and novelty seeking, without involving the other
> 
> ...





Not every man neglects his wife/gf for pornography look I hear what you're saying but here's the rub how can you have open communication about sexual interest and desires when one party is criticized for their sexual interests and desires that's counterproductive if a man chooses to watch porn over his wife/gf yeah that's a problem but if he wants to watch porn with his wife/gf or use it for his own sexual interest then what's the problem


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

some of the cable TV shows would have been label porn 40 years ago or at least soft porn.

Sons of anarchy 
Spartacus

lots of nudity with action

oh by the way, I am not complaining


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## Skate Daddy 9 (Sep 19, 2011)

There are real studies that involve brain scans and physical reactions and yes it is addictive and harmful. I am not on any soap-box and have no personal agenda but I have been to Talks and Lectures that have shown how the studies were done and how the conclusions were drawn and yes porn is addictive. Porn causes the user to withdraw from wanting or desiring human contact, it causes ED and it changes the chemical composition of the brain.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

convert said:


> some of the cable TV shows would have been label porn 40 years ago or at least soft porn.
> 
> Sons of anarchy
> *Spartacus*
> ...




Yeah that show was mostly sex with some acting lol


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Skate Daddy 9 said:


> There are real studies that involve brain scans and physical reactions and yes it is addictive and harmful. I am not on any soap-box and have no personal agenda but I have been to Talks and Lectures that have shown how the studies were done and how the conclusions were drawn and yes porn is addictive. Porn causes the user to withdraw from wanting or desiring human contact, it causes ED and it changes the chemical composition of the brain.




And yet the American Psychological Association has utterly rejected porn addiction as an official diagnosis and for seven years the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) included the concept of “sexual addiction” under the general diagnosis “Sexual Disorder Not Otherwise Specified,” but it was removed later because of insufficient research.


PS:I can show you research links that suggests porn actually improves sexual libido and stamina I can also point you towards research that indicates that the Loch Ness Monster is real scientific studies are everywhere thanks to government grant money and most cases pretty useless


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

xakulax said:


> *Not every man neglects his wife/gf for pornography *look I hear what you're saying but here's the rub how can you have open communication about sexual interest and desires when one party is criticized for their sexual interests and desires that's counterproductive * if a man chooses to watch porn over his wife/gf yeah that's a problem* but if he wants to watch porn with his wife/gf or use it for his own sexual interest then what's the problem


But that wasn't the question when you started this thread. Here you acknowledge that porn can be a problem, which answered your own question to begin with. Porn addiction (or sex addiction) is real - whether it's technically labeled or not. Many people are dealing with it.

People with this addiction sometimes change their sexual interests based on what they watch in porn. 

Is it the majority? I really don't think so - I don't have exact numbers, but I don't think the majority of people have this issue. 

However, just like with every thing else on this planet...IF whatever the medium (in this case porn) is - is causing issues in your relationship, or is otherwise bringing your life down, then it's a problem. 

The majority of the population doesn't have to deal with it. Maybe that's why you don't understand it. 

Yes there are people out there who will label it an addiction if they catch it one time. Those people either have strict boundaries (which is their right) or are very insecure.

There are some of us who know it's an addiction because we are replaced by it, the partner watches it for up to 6 hours in a day every single day, watches it at work - where they could lose their job, watches it when they have other responsibilities, denies their partner sex, can't orgasm during intercourse, prefers sex with porn on and finds it difficult to perform without porn on, watches porn almost immediately after intercourse (my H watched porn 10 mins after having sex with me - ego killer), etc. The list goes on and on.

It would be the same if someone was playing too many video games. This is no different just because it involves masturbation.

If you don't like people saying that porn can be bad - then don't marry/hang out with those people. 

It can help SOME relationships, but just like it can help some it can also harm. Not everyone is the same.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

xakulax said:


> No I haven't been labeled I just don't like hypocrisy


Honestly, I really hate hypocrisy!

Like men who say pornography is good but don't encourage their daughters and wives to get into the industry.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Honestly, I really hate hypocrisy!
> 
> Like men who say pornography is good but don't encourage their daughters and wives to get into the industry.


:lol:

Right. If porn is so great, I'm sure then all these men would be SO proud of their mother if they found out she was a porn star, and thousands of old men were wanking off to her.


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

I do believe porn addiction is real. I agree that porn addiction is thrown around too loosely but on the other side, I also see it dismissed too readily by those who wish to defend it.

I know from experience that my spouse struggled with/became addicted to porn. It became huge issue in our relationship - heck, in our home as he was also neglecting our oldest son in favour of his prized porn, among other things as described by SB and staar above. Prior to that, we had no issues or drama with it for over eight years. I also watched it sometimes (I don't read romance/erotica so frankly think those comparisons are lame lol) alone and sometimes with him. I knew he watched it sometimes and had no issue with that. The sex and other aspects of the relationship were good. 

Not so when he began using porn to escape the emotional drama he was going through as a result of being diagnosed with diabetes. Once he was hit with that blow, porn became a serious issue. It could have been any vice - drinking, smoking, doing drugs, gambling etc. so I don't *blame* porn. However since that was the vice of choice that almost destroyed us it is no longer welcome in our home.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

ConanHub said:


> Honestly, I really hate hypocrisy!
> 
> Like men who say pornography is good but don't encourage their daughters and wives to get into the industry.



That's very true but what's really disturbing are the ones that actually do endorse their wives or daughters doing it that's a whole different level of creepy..


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Honestly, I really hate hypocrisy!
> 
> Like men who say pornography is good but don't encourage their daughters and wives to get into the industry.


What about your sons? Why doesn't anyone ever lament their career choices in the porn industry? 

The list of things I don't encourage my daughter to do is nearly endless, for a variety of reasons. And while I certainly don't hold porn star up as the pinnacle of professional success (with a few exceptions - some of them have turned their skills into enormously lucrative empires), I certainly have to allow that she can make her own decisions. I wouldn't encourage her to pursue a career in acting or music either, but that doesn't make me ineligible to watch movies or listen to jazz. 

As for the stuff that is abusive or degrading, of course I don't encourage _anyone_ to subjugate themselves or to sell out their integrity - but then, I don't get to tell them where their boundaries should lie either. Including my own adult family members. BDSM is no less strange to me than working in the porn industry, but consenting adults get to leather up at will and I get no say in the matter. 

If you watch any female oriented porn in particular, you have to eventually ask yourself why some of these young, drop-dead beautiful women pick this as a career path. The reasons are as varied as the individuals engaged, and certainly for many of them it's the choice of a poor and naive mind, but at least some percentage of the population doesn't attach as much stigma to filming themselves as you might, and that pretty clearly includes many of the actors and actresses. There's a great deal of amateur porn out today that is clearly completely consensual by all parties involved. 

And of course we rarely hear the voice of the actors themselves. There is some minority with low inhibitions and high sex drives who love the work they do, or at least, love getting paid to do something that they don't despise. 

Finally, it should not need to be said that we should strive to keep women or men from getting roped into pornography under duress or while incapacitated through any means natural or unnatural. It's certainly an industry with way more down side than up FTMP.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Cletus said:


> What about your sons? Why doesn't anyone ever lament their career choices in the porn industry?
> 
> The list of things I don't encourage my daughter to do is nearly endless, for a variety of reasons. And while I certainly don't hold porn star up as the pinnacle of professional success (with a few exceptions - some of them have turned their skills into enormously lucrative empires), I certainly have to allow that she can make her own decisions. I wouldn't encourage her to pursue a career in acting or music either, but that doesn't make me ineligible to watch movies or listen to jazz.
> 
> ...



:iagree:


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

staarz21 said:


> The majority of the population doesn't have to deal with it. Maybe that's why you don't understand it.
> 
> *Maybe so *
> 
> ...


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

xakulax said:


> That's very true but what's really disturbing are the ones that actually do endorse their wives or daughters doing it that's a whole different level of creepy..


I totally agree! They might be demented but I couldn't call them a hypocrite.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

Well, it doesn't always come to insecurity. I bet a lot of it is insecurity, but there are some people who just have those boundaries either from religious upbringing or personal preference in how they want their sexual experiences.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Cletus said:


> What about your sons? Why doesn't anyone ever lament their career choices in the porn industry?
> 
> The list of things I don't encourage my daughter to do is nearly endless, for a variety of reasons. And while I certainly don't hold porn star up as the pinnacle of professional success (with a few exceptions - some of them have turned their skills into enormously lucrative empires), I certainly have to allow that she can make her own decisions. I wouldn't encourage her to pursue a career in acting or music either, but that doesn't make me ineligible to watch movies or listen to jazz.
> 
> ...


I am not referring to the amateur, just for fun and a little cash porn. That just seems like some not so smart sexual decisions that we can and have all made but having your naked ass on the internet forever is probably going to come and bite your ass after you want more privacy.

As for the "Pros", I agree that I would not want my boys to become male prostitutes.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Honestly, I really hate hypocrisy!
> 
> Like men who say pornography is good but don't encourage their daughters and wives to get into the industry.


So do I!

Like the plethora of women who rant that consuming porn automatically kills their husband's libidos, negatively affects their sex life, and mutes his desire for her...

While she over consumes food and gets fat, which negatively affects her self esteem, negatively affects their sex life, and mutes his desire for her.

Oh, wait...

Bottom line is that hypocrisy abounds. If you're going to demand that your spouse cease something just make sure you've got that plank out of your own eye. That goes for men and women.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all:
Several comments:

1) I think porn addiction exists, but that doesn't mean that everyone who watches porn (even frequently) is an addict.

2). Some men watch porn instead of being intimate with their partners. I think the majority of people (myself included) would consider this to be a problem. 

3). Some men watch porn only when their partners are not available for intimacy. Personally I do not consider this a problem.

4). Some women choose a career in porn because they don't mind having sex with strangers and because the money is very good. If I could have worked one night a month rather than 5 evenings a week in college, I would have been tempted - straight, gay, whatever. 

I think a career in porn is a bad idea for the majority or people, but not for everyone.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

badsanta said:


> To xakulax concerning the hypocrisy of men watching porn versus women reading erotic novels, I have a few things to say...
> 
> Erotic novels are FICTION and not video documentation of an actual sexual act. If anyone gives you crap about the adult film industry being parallel to that of prostitution or adultery, simply tell them that you agree and for that reason that you ONLY watch animated porn to insure no one was harmed in the making of the film. Problems solved!


porn blurs the line a little between straight fiction and video documentation of a sex act.

Porn is to sex what WWE is to fighting.


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

badsanta said:


> To xakulax concerning the hypocrisy of men watching porn versus women reading erotic novels, I have a few things to say...
> 
> Erotic novels are FICTION and not video documentation of an actual sexual act. If anyone gives you crap about the adult film industry being parallel to that of prostitution or adultery, simply tell them that you agree and for that reason that you ONLY watch animated porn to insure no one was harmed in the making of the film. Problems solved!




genius!


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## xakulax (Feb 9, 2014)

Fozzy said:


> porn blurs the line a little between straight fiction and video documentation of a sex act.
> 
> Porn is to sex what WWE is to fighting.




I never really saw it as either really just as a means to and end


I think this may boil down to individual person and thire vulnerability to compulsive behaviors some people can watch porn maybe a few hours a week and others my watch it few hours a day for escapism reasons I'm wondering if people who are on the extreme side of this are really being misdiagnosed and are in actuality have OCD.


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## MarriedToTheOne (Apr 22, 2015)

Exploding the MYTH of Porn Addiction:

Exploding the Myth of ‘Porn Addiction’ | Psych Central News

No such thing as porn 'addiction,' researchers say -- ScienceDaily

Why "Sex Addiction" Is More About Fear of Sex: A Conversation with Dr. David Ley

Is Pornography Addictive?

Why there's no such thing as sex addiction - Telegraph

Don’t believe the sex addiction hype - Salon.com

Pornography and addiction--three harmful myths - counselor

The Myth of "Porn Addiction" - hypnotherapy-in-exeter.co.uk

Dopamine Madness Approaches Critical Mass: The Addiction Myth May Crumble! - The Clean Slate Addiction Site

Christian Myths: Lust - The Christian Left Blog


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## MarriedToTheOne (Apr 22, 2015)

Double post.....


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Fool me once (in CWI)....


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## lifeisbetterthanalternat (Apr 24, 2012)

WandaJ said:


> I think if you prefer watching porn, followed by DIY, while you have willing partner in next room, it's either addiction, or things are not going well between two of you.
> 
> other than that watch all you want



I totally agree with this statement on many levels. If a man is neglecting his wife in favor of porn that is a problem. 

I also do believe porn DOES have the propensity for some people to get addicted. Porn HAS been proven to result in increased dopamine production. Like any drug it can be addictive. So food, gabling. exercise and other activities that can result in dopamine production can be addictive. 

I believe many men are inproperly labeled as porn addicts because on many levels the men don't think it is wrong, think it is victimless and continue to hide it to spare their wives of hurt/spare themselves of punishment. They are expected to stop because their wives have mane the unilateral decision that it is wrong. Men wont stop and are charicterised as addicts. 

PS why don't we label the grossly overweight spouse as a "food addict".


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

lifeisbetterthanalternat said:


> I totally agree with this statement on many levels. If a man is neglecting his wife in favor of porn that is a problem.
> 
> I also do believe porn DOES have the propensity for some people to get addicted. Porn HAS been proven to result in increased dopamine production. Like any drug it can be addictive. So food, gabling. exercise and other activities that can result in dopamine production can be addictive.
> 
> ...


:iagree:..... I have always thought the same. I think porn is only a problem if your neglecting your wife's needs, other than that i have never seen it as a problem.

My husband was always honest from the start that he watches porn on occasion and i have always been fine with it.

Its never bothered me, Of course like you've stated if my husband was to put porn above me and i was being neglected then yes it would be a problem... like with anything i suppose.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

xakulax said:


> Is porn addiction real I've been doing some thinking on the subject for quite some time and after a great deal of research and personal reflection I really cannot see how anyone can be addicted to pornography except for maybe a fringe minority but more and more men are being diagnosed or "labeled" as porn addicts so whats really going on here Is there actually an addiction or is it just a new form of shaming those who indulge in sexual self gratification
> 
> 
> Your opinion



This is what I've experienced.

When Mrs.CuddleBug has a sex drive and three times a week or more, I don't crave or think about porn. It's like porn doesn't exist to me. She is having just enough sex with me so porn is gone. But when the sex is one times a week or less......I am still horny and my basic needs aren't being taken care of, so when it gets bad, I still view porn from time to time to get it out of my system. That's about it for me.


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## pragmaster (May 7, 2014)

sinnister said:


> I have watched so much porn in my life I should be blind.
> 
> Or at the very least my eyes should bleed every now and then.
> 
> ...



It's tough to say man. Personally I have seen my fair share too and I would agree that real life is obviously more enjoyable....but........ 

If you don't feel like going out to the bar to find someone and potentially wasting your time just for a release, or paying; well, the computer is a pretty logical answer. 

It depends on the person, what they want and their drives. 

Addict vs lack of self-control.

Craving sex vs craving intimacy


I don't think I could ever be celibate. For me, when the bags are full, they need to get emptied. Simple as that. You don't even need porn or a partner to release that pressure. 

I read that somewhere. Practicing healthy masturbation (by visualizing) is apparently rewarding.


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