# Smartphones and games



## [email protected] (Jul 13, 2012)

Are smart phones and the apps/games the new addiction? - Words with Friends, Scramble, or whatever else. Do we notice it more with our wives, or do you notice it more with your husbands?

More and more often, it seems that smart phone is right there with the bright light illuminating from it. I'll give you an example, after sex last night she is laying on her side playing Scramble. We've only been married 6 years, and this is what things have come down too. I remember the days when she used to ask me for cuddling time after sex... not anymore.

There are several other instances, where she seems to pay more attention to the games, than she does me.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Smart phone gamea are so addictive! Especially Words with friends. 

I would just be playful and say "hey, talk to your husband". Hopefully she will realize the addiction before it becomes more of an issue.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartbrok3n (Jun 5, 2012)

Smartphones are only smart if you use them to do productive things. If they're causing you to waste time and neglect the more important things in life, like your family, your job, your pets even then i think they are more aptly called 'dumbphones'.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

me and my wife play each other words with friends on our phones I am sure it is to answer your question but i feel it will wear off just like myspace, fb, and any other social media whats wild is that this forum is old school ie bulletin board and its fun as well


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

It’s the new addiction. Just like any game on a pc can be addictive.

A lot of it is avoidance behaviour, again just like any normal addiction. It’s to avoid doing unliked jobs. To avoid confronting and resolving the problems and issues in life. In some cases to shut themselves away, block themselves out and avoid actually “living” in the very real world.


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## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

I play wordfeued on mine. Once I realized there was a chat feature a whole new world opened up to me. Now I can talk to people from all over the US and even one person in Sweden while I'm at work or laying in bed. I don't even care about the game anymore. It's just a way for me to meet new people now. I might try words with friends instead but wordfeud is so simple. I also went through the angry birds stage like a lot of people do until I beat all of them. It gives me something to do on my long commute. lol


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## Smoke (Jul 17, 2012)

Yes it is a problem in my house. My wife is addicted to it. 
We had friends over a few nights ago and were playing a board game. Whenever it wasn't her turn, she was playing on her phone. I asked her to put it away, and she seemed very put out by my request. Watching TV in bed, she is on her phone. Ignores our daughter, then wonders why she always comes to me for stuff.

It's fricking annoying.


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## [email protected] (Jul 13, 2012)

Smoke - I wish my 3 year old son recognized how much she pays more attention to the games too. However, he's also addicted to the iphone & ipad games.

fortunately we are headed north for a vacation soon - near Algonquin Park in Ontario Canada. It's just too bad that my dad has Wifi at the cottage.


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## Jimbob82 (Jun 29, 2012)

Yes its a horrible blight on many relationships. My wife is basically NEVER off her phone (facebook mostly) in the evenings when the kids are in bed. I wouldn't mind, but it IS at the expense of us spending time together. I can't even go to make a move on her when she's on it, as I get the classic 'oh just GET off me' or 'give me some space' line every single time. We've always been close, but this has driven us apart without her either realising, or caring. I find it desperately sad for anyone else in this position, where you're basically ignored by the person you love most, so they can p1ss their days away on inane technology.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

My wife drives me nuts with those stupid Facebook games. I bought her "Fifty Shades" to try and de-ice her a little and it's collecting dust while the laptop burns away.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

My husband plays Texas Hold 'Em on his phone 24/7. I have to ask him to stop playing _while driving _every time I get in the car with him. 

Yes, he has an addictive personality. And yes, he's addicted to his poker game on the phone.


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## Jimbob82 (Jun 29, 2012)

Its a shame these partners who spend hours glued to their phones couldn't spend the same amount of time on their loved ones! What's worse is when they're sat there on their phone, its as if they're not really 'there' - as I say, its desperately sad to see, and make no mistake, it IS an addiction, and almost as damaging (albeit in a different way)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

[email protected] said:


> Smoke - I wish my 3 year old son recognized how much she pays more attention to the games too. However, he's also addicted to the iphone & ipad games.
> 
> fortunately we are headed north for a vacation soon - near Algonquin Park in Ontario Canada. It's just too bad that my dad has Wifi at the cottage.


Turn it off or "break" it.


Same at home as well. Just block access with a firewall. Do it in secret say for 8 hours at a time. Most especially at night time, in the evening. You'll be a hero when you fix it and give her access for a while.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

Jimbob82 said:


> Yes its a horrible blight on many relationships. My wife is basically NEVER off her phone (facebook mostly) in the evenings when the kids are in bed. I wouldn't mind, but it IS at the expense of us spending time together. I can't even go to make a move on her when she's on it, as *I get the classic 'oh just GET off me' or 'give me some space' line every single time.* We've always been close, but this has driven us apart without her either realising, or caring. I find it desperately sad for anyone else in this position, where you're basically ignored by the person you love most, so they can p1ss their days away on inane technology.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Every single time?

What you mean you put up with that behaviour more than once? And you keep going back for more? That's like trying to give a dog a bone that you know is going to bite you. It's crazy behaviour on your part plus what you are doing is reinforcing your wife's behaviour. You've taught her it's ok for her to bite you!


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## x2startermom (Jan 8, 2010)

My hubby has an addiction to games. I do too.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

Smartphones are just a novelty, the public's obsession with them is mostly a fad. Yes, there are always people who become addicted to the tech du jour, but I think that most people. Will get over the novelty and get back to real life.

I know this from personal experience. I got my iPad about a year and a half ago, and it quickly became an extension of myself, like a third hand. I had it with me constantly. I'm not much of a gamer, but I am a news junkie, and every morning I'd be reading that at the kitchen table at breakfast. It eventually became so bad that my kids were surprised when I DIDN'T have it with me. That was my wake up call, and I've been trying to use it more as a tool and less as a toy.

As for how to deal with it... Use it to your advantage: Friend her and get in on some of these games, text her love poems or explicit talk about what you plan to do to her in bed tonight.

But re-reading the original post again, it makes me wonder if you're not more concerned with the status of your sex life than you are about the phone. I can assure you that even in the healthiest of relationships there are ebbs and flows in every sexual relationship. The sex may not be as passionate as it has in the past, but she's relaxed enough with you that she isn't trying to give you a false idea of who she is. That's just something that happens when healthy relationships mature. (I have a confession to make: the situation you describe is what I'm doing right now. My wife and I just had a very good session, then she went to sleep and I'm here. I'm not upset that she just rolls over and she doesn't get jealous of a 5 x 8 slab of aluminum. Our relationship is stronger than that.)

But it could just boil down to this: it doesn't sound like you've actually talked to her about it. If you tell her that it bothers you that,suing with the smartphone makes you feel like she prefers Angry Birds to you, you may discover that she's more understanding than you may think.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

off topic....

i hate phones.
i cant stand to see someone with one.
if you are in dead converstation the d*** thing rings, they cut you off for it.
you go out and check out and people are yapping on it,
driving and yapping, texting blah blah.
so absorbent. 
its very boring to me.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

My husband has always had some electronic device in his hands. 

First it was a Gameboy, then a pocket game boy, then color game boy, game boy advance, Nintendo ds, then Nintendo light. Nintendo dsi. 

Psp fat, psp slim, psp white, then he took my piano black psp. The first iPod, the white iPod, add in a iPad. 

And when the hand helds were broken, various phones. 

We have went thorough every console from saga genesis, snes, 4 Sony play stations, 4 Sony play station 2's, 3 xbox 360. 

I married a gamer. I play a little too. I have a ds and a psp. They are collecting dust. I also have a iPod. But I don't use it since I have a iPhone. 

I don't even know what games he plays. But I'm sure it's most of them. He's always getting roms to play older games on his newer device. 

He's a gamer and a tec geek. I used to bother me. We had a little talk about how much his hands were on a controller and not on me, and simply would not compete. 

He got the hint and we have a schedule of sorts. Sundays are his game/tec days. I better find a good book, or get out my game. 

We play together sometimes. He talks to me about it, like I speak tec...I just smile and nod, and try to ask intelligent insightful questions. 

But we talked about schedules and times and how many hours and what days. 

We came to an understanding. It wasn't an easy conversation. It took a few months to ask the right questions and listen to the answers.


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