# Help a cynic out.



## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

I have been called a cynic my whole life, and while only two people who have called me that have admitted there is some merit in being a cynic, it usually holds a derogatory tone.

I got this definition from dictionary.com

*showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one's actions, especially by actions that exploit the scruples of others. 
*

Isnt the above a good thing? Maybe I misinterperet it.

Anyways, either overcoming or accepting my cyniscism is the next step in this wonderful thing called life, and as you have all been so very very helpful with me in the past, I asked for you help in this.

I just dont understand why cynicism is a bad thing... And if you have ever called someone a cynic in a negative way, please share the story so I can better understand WTF is going on. I seem to be at odds with society over this... (cuz Im a cynic, hahaha!)

*PS. Your not going to offend me, so please be very open and honest in your advice and opinions.*


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Where women are concerned, being a cynic, means it is unlikely that others see you as upbeat, funny and fun to be around.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

I can see how that would match up...
But your description doesnt fit any proper definition I have ever read...


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

Cynicism 

Philosophical:
The Sunset Limited - Ending Scene - YouTube

Social:
Debbie Downer at Disney World.flv - YouTube


Logical as it is, it doesn't give other people the warm fuzzies.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Thanks BBW.

I guess if I had a calpping audiance, maybe I wouldnt be seen as such a downer. hahaha.

Good stuff.

Thanks.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't mind cynics. They give different viewpoints to situations and usually have some backdoor opinion that makes me stop and think


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

My kids told me I sold out. I reminded them I bought in. I'm leaving this life the same way I entered; naked, covered in blood and screaming.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

The avalanche has already started; it is too late for the pebbles to vote.

- Kosh Naranek, Vorlon Ambassador


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I have doubts that you are a cynic


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## grizabella (May 8, 2011)

There is nothing wrong with being a cynic, being bitter is what you want to avoid.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Ah, a term after my own heart. My eldest had to write a paper about this. To be cynical at its root Ancient Greek word was to be dog like. Trusting but cautious, knowing your enemies from your friends and those that are unfit, you drive away with your bark. It was an honor to be called a cynic back then. It meant you were perceptive, a free thinker and questioning. 
That term changed because of organized religion. Cynics were killed for challenging/questioning/not believing. When society saw what being a cynic meant, they didn't question anymore and thus the term is forever linked with being "bad". Hundreds and hundreds of years of hearing cynical being a derogatory term has made us all think of it as something you don't want to be.....but should it?
Without cynics, the Earth would still be flat.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Any quote by Dorothy Parker will do.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

I always considered the term to loosely mean being more of a realist, as opposed to a romantic.....but actually, I think I'm using it more like "pragmatist" and I think many people tend to do that. So when someone calls you "cynical", they really mean "practical".


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I am not a cynic. I am eternally hopeful...that it will inevitably turn to sh^t.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

seeing the negative side of thing first.

pratical thinking.

being on guard.



all good but when over done drives people away.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

But I dont see it that way, and thats where the confusion sets in. When I talk, Im not pointing out the negative, simply making an observation. I live with rules and laws. I do believe in certain absolutes. Like if I break the law, I better damn well be willing to own up to the consequences.

But in other circumstances everything is just shades of grey.

Pick your battles

Hold your Tongue

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason.


These along with delivery method will help me improve what I want too.


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

According to freedictionary.com

*"1. An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others"*

So I can see how this coorelates with your #1, Trenton.

The prolbem with this is, that everyone who has ever taken a marketing course, and was totally turned off from it, should techincally be a cynic. Or at least cynical of advertisements and consumption in general.

I just read that Abraham Lincoln was a cynic, and during his early years a lot of people really didnt like him and how often he spoke his mind.


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

I'm a cynic by nature and a bit of a human lie detector. I don't believe much of what's said in the public sphere and I always think I'm right. I always ask "What motivates this person to have this position" instead of listening earnestly to the details of the argumement. As I age I've become better at recognizing human patterns or hidden motives and sadly my observations are eventually confirmed. I use to like to say "I told you so" after it happened. What a tool I was.

Here's the problem. It simply doesn't matter when I'm right about something. It's becomes a very unhealthy lifestyle because you're always disappointed and frustrated. It generates too much negative energy and it usually isn't productive. People think you're a downer and will ultimately become nervous around you. They begin to realize that you can see through them and it makes them very uncomfortable (Everyone lies about something.). They will think that you are paranoid and sometimes they will be right. I didn't realize how much my cynical thinking affected my life until my late 30's and I regret not lightening up much earlier. I wasn't much fun to be around and it impacted my marriage, my work life and my children. I can't take it back.

I'm not saying that having a small amount of cynacism isn't a healthly thing these days, but if it dominates your personality you have a problem (Think House on TV). Do your best to temper yourself and don't over analyze. Realize that all people are flawed including yourself. Have a good laugh at your own expense. Be humble about it. If you think someone is throwing BS at you and it isn't endangering your life be the bigger person and smile it off. Its a sign of insecurity to point out flaws or inconsistancies all the time. Try to add something valuable instead of breaking something down. Remeber that women and children are actually damaged by negative cynacism even if you are right. I hope I shed some light.

Peace


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Enginerd:

Thank you for a profound post. It isn't too often that someone can see themselves so clearly. I, too, struggle with cynicism and negativity. It is a self-defense mechanism, and as you point out, it hurts you in your relationships.

I agree that humor and humility are the best antidotes to cynicism. We all have faults, and we need to forgive ourselves and each other.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Enginerd said:


> I'm not saying that having a small amount of cynacism isn't a healthly thing these days, but if it dominates your personality you have a problem (Think House on TV). Do your best to temper yourself and don't over analyze. Realize that all people are flawed including yourself. Have a good laugh at your own expense. Be humble about it. If you think someone is throwing BS at you and it isn't endangering your life be the bigger person and smile it off. Its a sign of insecurity to point out flaws or inconsistancies all the time. Try to add something valuable instead of breaking something down. Remeber that women and children are actually damaged by negative cynacism even if you are right. I hope I shed some light.


Oh I LOVE THIS -every word ! I am one of those people who enjoys the analyzing, almost my inborn nature.... it keeps my mind occupied.....I couldn't stop it if I tried. I tend to be pessimistic, that way I am guarded, and make fewer mistakes in life. 

Where I feel I am healthy or it gets evened out is .... I very much realize we all have flaws & weaknesses , even if others may be very different than mine..... I try to give some *grace*, imagine walking in their shoes, understand another's view, what led them where they are-the roots... Is it hurting anyone? Will it hurt them down the road ? 

Some flaws are really not that big of a deal in the scheme of living, then some can cause Hell in your life, or others .... We just need to know (that analyzing) which to stand against & help someone overcome , and which to overlook & "let live". 

To expect everyone else to have a clue - or perfection, that would only be setting ourselves up for a fall , and living in constant judgement of others, then noone would even like us !! 

I don't even like people that appear that "all together" all the time, they annoy me. Love the Humble , and those who can laugh at themselves, not taking themselves too seriously, this is freeing and it allows others to be themselves around us. 

Then everyone wins. 

Urban Dictionary: cynic

#13 definition was interesting...


> a person who has grown enough to see that some things in life aren't wonderful and sometimes people are selfish or disappointing, but has failed to find the humor and irony in this or realistically observe the many good things that also happen in life. oftentimes cynics seem to enjoy attempting to destroy the faith and joy found by other people--even when that faith serves no purpose than to make its owner balanced and happy as a human being.
> 
> _Amanda said she believes she can accomplish great things in her life if she believes in herself, and Rob being a cynic felt it was his duty to crush this belief which hurt no one and only helped Amanda, thereby making Amanda sad. Rob needs to get a life_.


#14 said


> Someone smart enough to realize that life isn't perfect but too stupid to realize that it's still pretty ****ing sweet.





> *lovesherman said *: I agree that humor and humility are the best antidotes to cynicism. We all have faults, and we need to forgive ourselves and each other.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## Enginerd (May 24, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> Enginerd:
> 
> Thank you for a profound post. It isn't too often that someone can see themselves so clearly. I, too, struggle with cynicism and negativity. It is a self-defense mechanism, and as you point out, it hurts you in your relationships.
> 
> I agree that humor and humility are the best antidotes to cynicism. We all have faults, and we need to forgive ourselves and each other.



I'm glad I could help in some small way. Good luck with moving forward.


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

I see a lot of cynicism on this forum.

Made up example:

_Spouse cheats, but shows true remorse and a total willingness to help with the healing. BS wants to work on it as well and can handle dealing with the issue responsibly. Someone from TAM comes on and makes a comment like "It'll never work out, you'll always harbor resentment."_

I guess another word I can think of for cynicism is bitterness. The inability to see past your bad experiences or thoughts to a possibly good outcome.

Correct me if I'm wrong but the opposite of cynicism is optimism? The ability to see the positive potential in a situation.

I think cynicism can be good in some respects, but permanent negative-thinking can be a drag. I think there's a balance that needs to be struck. You shouldn't always be cynical or always optimistic.


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## akira1 (Dec 13, 2011)

I feel cynicism takes too much negative energy to sustain, but that doesnt mean we cant be practical and honest about the dark things in life.


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