# Less sex, no problem. Is this strange



## One Eighty (Apr 30, 2018)

I used to be very high sex drive. Seven days a week, at least something, some kind of sexual release. When my then wife was willing I could go three times a day. Not multiple days but if I waited a day or two, yes, three times a day. For us it would usually be a weekend thing, morning, noon and night.

When we first met she was the same. We were very compatible. Over the years she changed to needing it only two or three times a week. Not a big problem because she always kept my needs in mind and kept me satisfied one way or another.

Now, she is down to once a week. And surprisingly, I am too. Its all I need. (No medical advice please. My testosterone is still on the high end of normal.)

I always felt a strange, pride? Pride is not the right word but something like that, I felt it was a big part of my personality. I knew my drive level was not typical and I felt if I ever lost it, I'd be upset. I'd feel like a big part of my reason to live would be gone. I pitied people that did not have this source of pleasure in their lives.

Now it is the opposite. I feel relieved that I no longer have to find a way to get sex so often. I feel more powerful that I can take it or leave it, for weeks if necessary. I'd like it once a week but its not going to kill me to not get it that often.

I understand that the loss of sex drive is normal part of the aging process. I didn't think that I would be so ok with it though. I expected it to happen but I thought it was going to make me very upset. Instead, I'm happy about it.

Is this strange?


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

One Eighty said:


> I used to be very high sex drive. Seven days a week, at least something, some kind of sexual release. When my then wife was willing I could go three times a day. Not multiple days but if I waited a day or two, yes, three times a day. For us it would usually be a weekend thing, morning, noon and night.
> 
> When we first met she was the same. We were very compatible. Over the years she changed to needing it only two or three times a week. Not a big problem because she always kept my needs in mind and kept me satisfied one way or another.
> 
> ...


Not at all. You are happy, she is happy, there really is no 'normal' is there. We all change as we get older in so many ways. Things I used to love watching on tv now hold no interest for me. I used to love watching football(soccer), now can't stand it. My point is that we change, we change in sex as well. Often it comes down more to quality not quantity when we are older. 😊


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

One Eighty said:


> I understand that the loss of sex drive is normal part of the aging process. I didn't think that I would be so ok with it though. I expected it to happen but I thought it was going to make me very upset. Instead, I'm happy about it.
> 
> Is this strange?


Not sure. If I lost my sex drive down from many times a day to once a week I would take a trip to the doctor.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> Not sure. If I lost my sex drive down from many times a day to once a week I would take a trip to the doctor.


I am sure it's happened gradually over many years.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Diana7 said:


> I am sure it's happened gradually over many years.


Still seeing the doctor. I can barely walk some days but I have urges!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

ccpowerslave said:


> Still seeing the doctor. I can barely walk some days but I have urges!


Everyone is different though.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

Many people just assume that many conditions are just age related and there is nothing they can do. Truth is that many if not most things can be prevented and reversed. Its just a matter if you can afford it and find a good doctor who doesn't just go by general lab guidelines. 

I know you said your testosterone is high normal, but what is your age and level? A person can have a testosterone of 1,000 and still have symptoms of low testosterone as that reading alone is just a piece of the puzzle. What is your estrogen level?

I say this because while you are ok with a diminished drive, that doesn't mean you are ok. Sex levels dropping like this indicates that something in your body has changed. Those changes very well might lead to other changes you wont be so happy to accept and live with. 

Another important thing to monitor is calcium levels. Many people suffer from fatigue, brain fog, heart issues, frequent tooth cavities, and a host of other symptoms. They assume its just a part of aging. Doctors tell them blood tests are normal except for elevated calcium levels that we will just watch..... Well that extra calcium in your blood is doing all sorts of damage to your body. The condition is called hyperparathyroidism. Your thyroid has four additional tiny glands attached to it. These glands release a chemical that signals calcium be released from your bones. One or more of these glands can grow benign tumors that cause the affected gland(s) to release more hormones to signal the bones to release more calcium which causes elevated calcium levels. Left untreated it usually leads to osteoporosis and a range of other issues. 

Ladies, have you started thinning up top or developing a bald spot? High calcium causes alopecia in women..... The cure is a surgery that takes 15-20 minutes to remove the affected glands. But look it up, its called hyperparathyroidism and many doctors don't know about it. 

I could go on, but my main point is that when something changes. Get yourself checked out and dont just blame aging.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

It's never a bad thing to get a health check of course, but as long as the op and his wife are happy and content with sex about once a week I don't see why it's a problem. 
As people get old this often happens and as he says he feels calmer not being driven to seek sex every day or more.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

One Eighty said:


> I understand that the loss of sex drive is normal part of the aging process. I didn't think that I would be so ok with it though. I expected it to happen but I thought it was going to make me very upset. Instead, I'm happy about it.
> 
> Is this strange?


If you mentioned how long from multiples per day to once a week, didn't notice. Also didn't mention your age. So while gradual loss over years may be normal, rapid loss might signify a medical problem. It never hurts for have workup by doctor competent to deal with male sexuality, but finding one can be difficult, especially if you are over 50. A lot of the medical community figures sexuality after middle age is 'strange'.

For sure, being matched with your wife is a blessing, and being happy is appropriate. You aren't dealing with the HD/LD drama playing out in a lot of marriages as evidenced in these forums.

The only thing will say is your wife's libido could soar in the future, so you need to be prepared for that eventuality. You could be back in the HD/LD wars as the one lagging behind. It happened to me.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Once a week from super high drive…..how old are you? Other than that, seems great that you and your wife are on the same page.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

One Eighty said:


> I used to be very high sex drive. Seven days a week, at least something, some kind of sexual release. When my then wife was willing I could go three times a day. Not multiple days but if I waited a day or two, yes, three times a day. For us it would usually be a weekend thing, morning, noon and night.
> 
> When we first met she was the same. We were very compatible. Over the years she changed to needing it only two or three times a week. Not a big problem because she always kept my needs in mind and kept me satisfied one way or another.
> 
> ...


It's not strange at all. If you keep reading on this forum you will see far more men frustrated because they want sex all the time and no one else does then just about anything else that causes problems in relationships. You were very lucky that it did not cause problems in yours because you were both pretty well matched. 

I have a friend who had conflicts about sex with her husband, she wanting good sex and him wanting hands off sex, and they got lucky because at some point both of their drives went down to nothing about the same time and they actually got along better for a while after that. 

I would think it would be like quitting smoking. Once you weren't jonesing for it all the time, it's like a monkey off your back. 

I went through a high drive time when I was getting older that was just time-consuming and uncomfortable, and I was glad when it waned back to normal.

You may well experience ups and downs.


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## Julie's Husband (Jan 3, 2022)

The fact that you are comfortable with the situation is all you need.

Novelty, newness plays a part as well. Researchers are well aware of this effect and consider it when putting studies together.


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## Asterix (May 16, 2021)

One Eighty said:


> I understand that the loss of sex drive is normal part of the aging process. I didn't think that I would be so ok with it though. I expected it to happen but I thought it was going to make me very upset. Instead, I'm happy about it.
> 
> Is this strange?


It sounds like a whole lot of time in your day got freed up and you can think with your big brain now more often than you used to 

I'm glad that you are okay with it.


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## Kaliber (Apr 10, 2020)

You're happy, she's happy, that's all what life is all about


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## One Eighty (Apr 30, 2018)

ccpowerslave said:


> Not sure. If I lost my sex drive down from many times a day to once a week I would take a trip to the doctor.


Been there. Done that. He is my age and said his drive and his wife's drive is once a month and I'd be more par for the course at my age if I were once a month.



ccpowerslave said:


> Still seeing the doctor. I can barely walk some days but I have urges!


I am in great shape physically. I play ice hockey (Where I Iive there many other versions of hockey) I play 3 to 4 times a week. Plus in the summer I run road races. I can run a 5K in 20 minutes. I can run a mile in under 6 minutes. 



ThatDarnGuy! said:


> Many people just assume that many conditions are just age related and there is nothing they can do. Truth is that many if not most things can be prevented and reversed. Its just a matter if you can afford it and find a good doctor who doesn't just go by general lab guidelines.
> 
> I know you said your testosterone is high normal, but what is your age and level? A person can have a testosterone of 1,000 and still have symptoms of low testosterone as that reading alone is just a piece of the puzzle. What is your estrogen level?
> 
> ...


A man needs to check estrogen levels? 

I have been checked for thyroid issues as one of my children developed a problem at a very early age. 

Thanks for the very thorough post. 



DownByTheRiver said:


> Once you weren't jonesing for it all the time, it's like a monkey off your back.


This is it exactly. Monkey off my back.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Still living with your exW?


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## gr8ful1 (Dec 3, 2016)

Did I miss an update from you 180 on your situation with your XWW? Last I remember you did this one Thing™ which you expected to be unforgivable to her and thought she’d be out the door….


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

gr8ful1 said:


> Did I miss an update from you 180 on your situation with your XWW? Last I remember you did this one Thing™ which you expected to be unforgivable to her and thought she’d be out the door….


My take: neither is going anywhere. They'll stay put where they are.


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## ThatDarnGuy! (Jan 11, 2022)

One Eighty said:


> Been there. Done that. He is my age and said his drive and his wife's drive is once a month and I'd be more par for the course at my age if I were once a month.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

I mean if you don’t feel it and she doesn’t feel it and you’re both happy then I guess why question it. Nice!


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