# Text Messages



## Sanity (Mar 7, 2011)

My STBXW and I separated back in November of 2010 due to constant verbal, physical and emotional conflict. I left the house and filed for custody a few months ago and we have our first hearing next month.

My STBXW still harbours hope to reconcile but after several MC and IC the same persistent problems creep up. Her anger and jealous rage have drained my mind, body and soul and almost destroyed my relationship with my family. 

Even after we separated she still uses our two year old as leverage and uses him to see me or interact with me. 

I wanted to share some text messages with you that she sent me last night when I had to work late(I work in IT and its our busiest time of the year right now) Mind you I have worked in IT for 15 years so she has always known I get very busy.


Ok lets start:



> "Amazing how ur TOo busy on days You spend in *redacted*"


*I redacted just in case it might indentify me.*



> Maybe you should spend less time looking at them and talking to them





> Then you wouldn't have to stay late





> Let's face it, we live in a "It's what you look like society!" the fact you pretend you are nit attracted to some of the women you work with and may be more helpful with certain ones, is a huge lie.
> I am not stupid or born yesterday (you mat nit be asking for phone numbers ) But admit it. It's not a bad perk to be one of the few males working with nice looking women. So when you add that to mr not getting your attention after hrs because of our situation. How would you you like me to act?


Mind you these texts come from left field. I have never been unfaithful and yes I work in an enviroment where there are women. Years ago I used to have to reassure her every day but the older I got I realized how unhealthy and emotionally immature this crap was. It was wearing me down and honestly with my job stress I dont need this.

This is just one example of what she has done to drive me away because of the constant accusations of infidelity and whatnot. 

I wish I could just not take her calls but she can be relentless and the courts will frown upon cutting off communication entirely if we end up with 50/50 custody. I honestly don't think I can co-parent with someone like this especially if I ever decide to date again. 

What are your thoughts?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

My thoughts are she's clearly not letting you go easily and she's coming across as psycho.

You could text her back "Please do not text me any longer about anything unrelated to co-parenting and our divorce." 

And leave it at that.


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## loveiswhereiamnot (Jul 8, 2011)

If you're in divorce proceedings now, you can still communicate with her, but limit it to child issues. If your marriage is broken, you just don't have to keep talking about issues in the broken marriage. Courts don't require you to communicate about everything to prove you can co-parent. But regardless of custody, this is a person you are going to have to deal with, at least on a limited basis, for your child's life. You have to set now the parameters of that.

She's trying to engage you. Engagement is hope. Don't engage or defend, just respond to direct questions/concerns involving your child, nothing else. Also keep the texts and log all the calls to you. You don't have to answer them, you can check VM to see if it was something that was important about your child.


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## sprinter (Jul 25, 2011)

The court could care less. Limit things to the kids but this stuff is unimportant in your divorce. But save EVERYTHING she EVER sends you.


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