# Need Advice On Acceptance and Overcoming



## rfr (Aug 2, 2010)

So my wife and I have been married for six years. She had an addiction to Hydrocodone, went to Rehab, and became friends with a male in Rehab.When she came home, She tried to hide the friendship from me because she said I would get mad if she told me about it. So When I found out about it, She called him, and told him that they could not talk any more . She apolagized to me and we talked about it. She says it was Only a friendship and they talked about recovery.To my knowledge there has been no more contact. 
So now ,I'm having a problem with "getting over "this or "dealing with this situation. " I am trying to regain trust ,but am having problems, with my wife having had a relationship with a man I dont know. I have talked with this guy and he has told me that they were only friends and she has since told him that the friendship had to end. 
Does anyone have any suggestions on ways I may be able to deal with getting over this and moving on to make our marriage better?


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## sara nightingale (Aug 11, 2010)

Truthfully, if you are already dealing with her one "selfish problem", and then she goes out and acquires another "selfish problem", all amidst trying to solve the first problem, then I'd have to say, it seems as though you are married to a "taker". 

And people, in general, are only able to change a little- I'd say 15% tops. Takers change even less. 

SO PICK UP YOUR LIFE, all the pieces left, and do your changing, because if you don't get rid of her now, she'll take more.


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## lyka414 (Oct 21, 2010)

Hi, I'm married for 6 years right now. I had that experience with my husband, although I didn't had the chance to meet the girl in person. But during that time, it is very easy for me to get away from that situation and from our marriage because we don't have kids to think about. But there is something inside me that makes me come back after seeing him begging me to be with him again. Maybe I just can't accept the truth that I love him inspite of everything, I realized that I can't just leave him because I know to myself that he needs me and I'm the only one who can understand him. When I decide to come back and accept him again into my life, I lay down all my cards to him, my trust, my honesty and my love. It is actually up to him which move he will take. One wrong move then he will lose..


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