# How Was Your Marriage Before Infidelity ?



## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

I'll start, mine was abysmal. We rarely had sex,on average only once a month and it was bad in the communication front too. She told me nothing beside the daily household stuff, i tried to tell her about my work or my family but she had no interest at all. Ever since my EA ended until recent tsunami she built walls around herself, she simply had chosen not to see me again as a husband, just a father to our daughter. 

How was yours ?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

Daniel. said:


> I'll start, mine was abysmal. We rarely had sex,on average only once a month and it was bad in the communication front too. She told me nothing beside the daily household stuff, i tried to tell her about my work or my family but she had no interest at all. Ever since my EA ended until recent tsunami she built walls around herself, she simply had chosen not to see me again as a husband, just a father to our daughter.
> 
> How was yours ?


*Since I was blindsided twice by EA's and PA's that I was totally unaware of, to be honest, I thought that my relationships in both of my M's were fantastic!

Famous last words, I'd guess!*


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## drifting on (Nov 22, 2013)

My marriage was bad for which I take half the blame of. I pushed my wife away not sharing my feelings after a miscarriage. I was distant to her and a closed book. I focused on her needs unless those needs pertained to my expressing my feelings. So I see I was a bad husband prior to her affair. Pressure of having kids was paramount between us. We went for fifteen years trying infertility meds ($400.00 a month co-pays) to IVF. My wife bought one of those monitors that tell you the planets are all lined up, temperature is perfect and so on. I hated that monitor and what it represented to me. The romance was killed and instead scheduled. I couldn't take it much longer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Devastated an lost (Oct 29, 2014)

We had a storybook marriage. Loved all the same things, Spent all our time together. never argued, It was almost perfect. that's what makes it so hard to understand. All of a sudden he needed time & space. Said he just had some things on his mind he needed to work out. So I gave him that time & he used it to cheat on me..


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## HarryDoyle (Jan 19, 2013)

It sucked


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Daniel. said:


> I'll start, mine was abysmal. We rarely had sex,on average only once a month and it was bad in the communication front too. She told me nothing beside the daily household stuff, i tried to tell her about my work or my family but she had no interest at all. Ever since my EA ended until recent tsunami she built walls around herself, she simply had chosen not to see me again as a husband, just a father to our daughter.
> 
> How was yours ?


It was bad and good. My reasons for it being bad are different from her's in some areas, and likely similar in others. 

I'm trying to get the perspective of a counselor and he said it was bad and basically both of us were wrong in areas. He's only getting my side, though, so I won't go saying it was all anyone's fault. It was both.

Look up Venn diagram with three circles. That's the minimum number of circles if you want objective opinion included.


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Daniel, are you asking this because you are seeking to somehow justify what she did? This is fatal to your relationship going forward if you continue thinking like this.


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

thought I had a great marriage going....little did I know she wasnt happy and wouldnt say a word and choose to cheat instead....


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

Awesome. She must have thought so too or she wouldn't have stalked me for so long after I pulled the plug.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Ripper said:


> Awesome. She must have thought so too or she wouldn't have stalked me for so long after I pulled the plug.


:lol: Same here. She offered to be my "fvck buddy" after the divorce was finalized.


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

Dogbert said:


> :lol: Same here. She offered to be my "fvck buddy" after the divorce was finalized.


Yeah, got a similar offer. It got pretty bad, she would have probably let me kept her chained to the bed in order to stay together. 

That was the rub. I can't think of anything else that would have made me ditch her at the time aside from a PA. I would have helped her hide bodies, but when she fessed up to a physical relationship, that was the deal breaker.


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## D.H Mosquito (Jul 22, 2014)

In hindsight it wasn't great but it takes two to tango and she could have met me half way rather than what she did


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Great question. Not enough focus on this.

Ours was actually OK most of the time, but she had problems. (this is the part where for once the wayward rather than the betrayed gets blamed.)

She had undiagnosed PPD, which no one was terribly familiar with then. Incredibly selfish, needy, and quick tempered. Refused to go to the doctor or counseling. Blamed me for everything, including allowing her to act so mean. When I'd call her on her behavior, she'd get even madder, and act nuts. She'd have mini-breakdowns over the crying child, etc.

She created the perfect scenario. If I stood up to her, I was being controlling and mean. If I tried to help her, I was enabling her bad behavior.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Devastated an lost said:


> We had a storybook marriage. Loved all the same things, Spent all our time together. never argued, It was almost perfect. that's what makes it so hard to understand. All of a sudden he needed time & space. Said he just had some things on his mind he needed to work out. So *I gave him that time & he used it to cheat on me*..


You deserved A LOT better. I hope he realizes the damage he's done.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

The thing is...in any relationship BOTH people are probably going to have things they wish could be better...or maybe some gripes about their partners.

But though both of them share the SAME M, with whatever level of dysfunction or issues that exist on both sides....ONLY the WS cheats!

Their partner is in the same M but doesn't step out due to their grievances.....shows how purely selfish and f*cked up they are.


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## musk-rat (Mar 10, 2015)

I thought mine was good, not perfect, but I don't think any marriage is always perfect. We have a young child and for me it was an easy adjustment, my wife on the other had seemed to revert back to her early 20's. I thought it must be the initial up and downs from the baby blues, but it never seemed to go away and she never got help for it. So up until this last year we did things together, had several small projects around the house we worked on together, saw family, worked out, rode motorcycles etc when there was time. I accepted until our daughter (she is 2) got older, a lot of free time was a thing of the past. This past summer is when it all started to change. She started pulling away and I noticed it was like I was the enemy all of sudden. Once I found out about the affair, It was as if she re-wrote our marriage and it became all about you don't do this or that. With that said I filed for the D last week after 4 months of a false R.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

musk-rat said:


> I thought mine was good, not perfect, but I don't think any marriage is always perfect. We have a young child and for me it was an easy adjustment, my wife on the other had seemed to revert back to her early 20's. I thought it must be the initial up and downs from the baby blues, but it never seemed to go away and she never got help for it. So up until this last year we did things together, had several small projects around the house we worked on together, saw family, worked out, rode motorcycles etc when there was time. I accepted until our daughter (she is 2) got older, a lot of free time was a thing of the past. This past summer is when it all started to change. She started pulling away and I noticed it was like I was the enemy all of sudden. Once I found out about the affair, It was as if she re-wrote our marriage and it became all about you don't do this or that. With that said I filed for the D last week after 4 months of a false R.



Boy does this sound familiar. 

I still don't really get it. Part PPD, part jealousy that she is no longer the center of attention, maybe? She can't come right out and admit she's jealous of her own child, so she sinks into a selfish affair?


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## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

manfromlamancha said:


> Daniel, are you asking this because you are seeking to somehow justify what she did? This is fatal to your relationship going forward if you continue thinking like this.


No, not at all. Recently we visited a new MC, first one that i think worth revisit. I was pessimist about him because he is young maybe early 30s. When he asked this question i thought 'oh great, blame shift is coming', but no, he asked because he wanted to know xWW's personality. He said that if the marriage was great yet she cheats then it'd be a whole different way to handle it. We told him the A-Z of our history and finally he said something that i'd been looking for from MC "This is complicated (no sh*t sherlock) but there's no way of justifying affair, each of your affair is your choice and your decision, your SO had no idea about the affair so you can't put the blame on him and you can't blame her for your EA either. Let's start with that". Ha, finally a half decent MC. She understood, she said she has never been a puppet on strings so she doesn't blame me

I asked him if our marriage was great yet she cheated will our chance of R grow or shrink ? He said it'd shrink


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## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

Devastated an lost said:


> We had a storybook marriage. Loved all the same things, Spent all our time together. never argued, It was almost perfect. that's what makes it so hard to understand. All of a sudden he needed time & space. Said he just had some things on his mind he needed to work out. So I gave him that time & he used it to cheat on me..


This is terrible, i hope he's begging everyday to get you back again. He did a horrifying thing, don't go easy on him


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

My wife was doing the "Walk Away Wife... Youtube". She had pretty much had given up, therefore no longer complained, or asked me to do or interact with much in her life. 

To me, this seemed as if she was happy (no complaining). Far from the truth, the more she detached, I assumed happy. See the point, a death spiral toward infidelity.


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> The thing is...in any relationship BOTH people are probably going to have things they wish could be better...or maybe some gripes about their partners.
> :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:
> *That's the way I saw my M. But the things I wished W did that I maybe didn't like I felt as though they weren't "deal breakers" and the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. Roll with he punches, adapt and overcome. Apparently W didn't see things that way. The things she didn't like about me became justification to dislike me, to turn against me and eventually decided having an A was okay.*
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

*To answer the OP, me and WW had and still have a strange and wonderful relationship. She's strange and I'm wonderful.:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:*


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

loyallad,

I'm going to ask you based on your last post, but the question could actually go to any BS who feels their M is basically ruined or even not that great/average after the A.

Why even stay with someone who even only occasionally disgusts you or pisses you off just to look at or be in the same room as them?

I could never picture staying in a relationship where there were random times I looked at my partner with hatred or utter disgust....and I can't imagine how those feelings would NEVER arise after the betrayal and revolting acts they have done.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

Ripper said:


> I would have helped her hide bodies, but when she fessed up to a physical relationship, that was the deal breaker.


How many bodies we talking? 

Serial killer is also a deal breaker for me along with infidelity but maybe my standards are too high???


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

I wouldn't have mind burying the bodies - of the OM she had sex with.


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> loyallad,
> 
> I'm going to ask you based on your last post, but the question could actually go to any BS who feels their M is basically ruined or even not that great/average after the A.
> 
> ...


Was what she did wrong? Absolutely. Do I look at her with disgust or hatred. No because I believe you are to love the sinner, not the sin. Am I disappointed and no longer love her the way one should love their S? You bet and in spades to boot. Just decided to hate like that was giving her and the A power over me and I had enough taken from me. Why stay? Youngest son. He went through an emotionally tough time when the D subject came up. He physically became ill and emotionally shut down. Just was not willing to put his well being before mine. Just have too much love for him and my other kids. I'd move heaven and earth for those kids. WW tries to make herself a big part of their life and maybe some of that's okay. I think she realized the way she acted was hurting them. Some of what she does is controlling and backfires on her. So I hang on for another couple of years for my son. The time I have with him is short anyway since he'll be off to college in two years. It definitely would be halved if we'd D. Is that the right answer? I don't know. You hear so much and read so much of don't stay for the kids or stay for the kids. I'm not sure there is one clear cut answer. Those that think I should have punted WW, well that's your opinion and you have a right to it. I don't know if it's right or wrong. I'm just looking at things from my little world. Had there been no kids, yeah things would be clear cut.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

If I had kids it would have certainly thrown a monkey wrench into my decision to divorce. But believing that if I remained married for the kids sake ignores that later on, not only is the likelihood of getting cheated on great but also that it may end up with the WW wanting to divorce. So what was gained in such scenario?


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## musk-rat (Mar 10, 2015)

Forest said:


> Boy does this sound familiar.
> 
> I still don't really get it. Part PPD, part jealousy that she is no longer the center of attention, maybe? She can't come right out and admit she's jealous of her own child, so she sinks into a selfish affair?


Did your wife act like she was single? Mine said she did not want to have to answer to anyone but her self. She did not like it when I told her that is not how marriage works. You a mutual respect for one another and let each other know what was going on. She saw it as me trying to control her.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

musk-rat said:


> Did your wife act like she was single? Mine said she did not want to have to answer to anyone but her self. She did not like it when I told her that is not how marriage works. You a mutual respect for one another and let each other know what was going on. She saw it as me trying to control her.


Nothing like hearing the "controlling" line. Its part of the script they follow.


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

Dogbert said:


> If I had kids it would have certainly thrown a monkey wrench into my decision to divorce. But believing that if I remained married for the kids sake ignores that later on, not only is the likelihood of getting cheated on great but also that it may end up with the WW wanting to divorce. So what was gained in such scenario?


Life's a roll of the dice. I can only do what I think is right for me at this time. We know not what the future holds. Everyone would like to know that but it doesn't work that way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2014)

BetrayedDad said:


> How many bodies we talking?


Given this some thought. At the time, at least 7. After that I would have some questions.



BetrayedDad said:


> Serial killer is also a deal breaker for me along with infidelity but maybe my standards are too high???


With the dating market these days, maybe.

All I know was that things were good, then a few words out of her mouth later, they weren't.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

Mine was apparently painted rust.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

loyallad,

Thanks for responding.

Not criticizing your decision at all.

I saw my maternal grandfather stay in a miserable M 'for the kids' while growing up...and it was a disaster for our family overall.

Just curious about your reason for staying.

Maybe I'm biased by my own childhood, but I can't imagine the purpose of staying long term in a M as you describe yours...where you KNOW in your heart you don't love your W the way a H should because of the sh*tty choices she made.

I hope for your sake you can move on and find real joy and a fulfilling relationship in your life after your son is off to college, IF that is what ends up being the key to your future happiness.

Do you think your kids will accept and understand why you leave their mother in a few years, if that's what you feel you need to do to be happy?

Or will you end up being the bad guy regardless of the destruction ultimately being a result of her A?


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## BlueWoman (Jan 8, 2015)

Well I would our say our marriage was on the rocks, and had been for some time. But I loved him like crazy and I thought that would be enough. But as D. H mosquito said "it takes two to tango" and I was tango by myself.


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

Dyokemm said:


> loyallad,
> 
> Thanks for responding.
> 
> ...


The kids have seen how things have been. They know I tried to make the best of it. I'll be made out as the bad guy to her family and some of her friends. That doesn't bother me. Honestly I expect it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

loyallad,

Yeah...that IS to be expected from her friends and family.

As long as your kids know her A, and not your behavior, was the catalyst for the D....that is who really matters.

Bad enough to have to live, even temporarily, with the fallout from a traitor's behavior....but to then have your own kids blame you would be too much.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

musk-rat said:


> Did your wife act like she was single? Mine said she did not want to have to answer to anyone but her self. She did not like it when I told her that is not how marriage works. You a mutual respect for one another and let each other know what was going on. She saw it as me trying to control her.


No, wasn't that bad. Just mostly like she couldn't cope with motherhood, and wanted everything to still be like the dating years all the time, every day. Total attention on her.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

musk-rat said:


> Did your wife act like she was single? *Mine said she did not want to have to answer to anyone but her self.* She did not like it when I told her that is not how marriage works. You a mutual respect for one another and let each other know what was going on. *She saw it as me trying to control her.*


Gotta love it. They know just want to say to shame you into feeling like a knuckle-dragging neanderthal, don't they?


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## musk-rat (Mar 10, 2015)

Yes they do. It took awhile for me to realize I was not a bad person.


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

musk-rat said:


> Yes they do. It took awhile for me to realize I was not a bad person.


Part of the history rewrite. Also part of the "say something often enough it must be true". Just like WS denying the A. They say it often enough they think you will believe it too. I got a lot of "you treat everyone horrible, her, the kids, friends, family etc...". Finally I had enough of that crap especially about the friends stuff so I asked them about specific things WW threw out as examples of me treating them "horrible". They looked at me as if I was crazy. They even asked where I got such a stupid notion. After that when WW would spew that stuff I stopped her in her tracks and told her that bunch of sh*t don't fly any more. That was the last time she tried that stuff.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

BetrayedDad said:


> Serial killer is also a deal breaker for me along with infidelity but maybe my standards are too high???





Ripper said:


> With the dating market these days, maybe.


That's why I said _serial_ killer... At this point, I'd probably let one slide.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

loyallad said:


> Life's a roll of the dice. I can only do what I think is right for me at this time. We know not what the future holds. Everyone would like to know that but it doesn't work that way.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


But we can certainly try to improve our *risk intelligence* to make better predictions.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

loyallad said:


> Part of the history rewrite. Also part of the "say something often enough it must be true". Just like WS denying the A. They say it often enough they think you will believe it too. I got a lot of "you treat everyone horrible, her, the kids, friends, family etc...". Finally I had enough of that crap especially about the friends stuff so I asked them about specific things WW threw out as examples of me treating them "horrible". They looked at me as if I was crazy. They even asked where I got such a stupid notion. After that when WW would spew that stuff I stopped her in her tracks and told her that bunch of sh*t don't fly any more. That was the last time she tried that stuff.


WS often talk in great generalities "treat everyone" "controlled everything" etc. They rarely speak of specifics. One of my favorites from my stbx was when asked for a specific example of my "controlling" her, she said I didn't like scented candles so I was controlling her because she did. She had two years of ranting about the controlling monster and that was the best she could come up with????


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

We don't really remember...a lot of drinking, parting, and fighting...It still cracks me up to watch chicks fight, but those are the old days.

Before infidelity there was a lot of "family" time...in a biker, red neck kind of way.

Being around toxic people shyt was bound to happen!


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

"WS often talk in great generalities "treat everyone" "controlled everything" etc. They rarely speak of specifics. One of my favorites from my stbx was when asked for a specific example of my "controlling" her, she said I didn't like scented candles so I was controlling her because she did. She had two years of ranting about the controlling monster and that was the best she could come up with????"

lol....they really are batsh*t crazy.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Which one? First, second or both? ha! 

I had this huge explanation typed out. The truth is, they both were traumatic in different ways and levels.


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

honcho said:


> WS often talk in great generalities "treat everyone" "controlled everything" etc. They rarely speak of specifics. One of my favorites from my stbx was when asked for a specific example of my "controlling" her, she said I didn't like scented candles so I was controlling her because she did. She had two years of ranting about the controlling monster and that was the best she could come up with????


Oh those darn scented candles. Deal breaker every time. Bet you put the toilet paper on the wrong way too. Some people should come with a warning label. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

loyallad said:


> Oh those darn scented candles. Deal breaker every time. Bet you put the toilet paper on the wrong way too. Some people should come with a warning label.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm thankful that wis is no fault so the judge will never hear the deep dark secret that I think scented candles stink. Haha.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## loyallad (Aug 1, 2014)

honcho said:


> I'm thankful that wis is no fault so the judge will never hear the deep dark secret that I think scented candles stink. Haha.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah he might have you locked up for being so cruel. Ha
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

I should send my XWW this scented candle because it expresses oh so well my feelings on DDay.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

loyallad said:


> Oh those darn scented candles. Deal breaker every time. Bet you put the toilet paper on the wrong way too. Some people should come with a warning label.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hey! Toilet paper is serious!!!! &#55357;&#56833;
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Hey! Toilet paper is serious!!!! ��
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Perhaps if she would have brought up toilet paper in addition to the candles the court commissioner probably would have given her that r/o she tried. Toilet paper is more "dramatic". 
To quit threadjacking we had a good marriage. We rarely fought and a month before she bailed she was telling me I was the love of her life and couldn't live without me. That's how quick the wheels can come off when dealing with mental illness. 
Having micromanaged our relationship over the last couple years I can see where we had weak areas in the relationship but when your living it you don't seem to notice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

My marriage was a good marriage. It had normal stuff, but nothing ever to threaten the marriage that I even ever considered. 
We spend all of our time together when we we together. We went thur all the happy milestone that couples go thur, and saw our son succeed off to university, and now into medical school. 

I had started to plan retirement journeys for us to take, as the world is our play ground as we are an airline family who can fly at almost no cost anywhere in the world. 

But at the 28 yr he had different plans and met a F/A... and from then on my good marriage wasnt so good anymore...

~sammy


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## Daniel. (Jan 14, 2015)

Well this is scary, so far
Good marriage: 10 posters
Not So Good marriage: 7 posters
(i do not count the one with physical/emotional condition)


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## WhereAreTheGoodTimes (Sep 19, 2014)

We were happy and in love. Not crazy in love infatuated love like when you first start out but mature committed love after many years together. We did things together, traveled together, had sex often that I think satisfied both of us. There were times in the past that we had drifted apart sexually but in the immediate couple of years prior to her affair sex was good. She was and is my best friend and I am hers. She has told me that she was happy in our marriage too and unless she has been faking happiness for a lot of years that would be hard to question. She has been depressed since the death of her mom a couple of years ago but had been coming out of that. I tried to help but my help was not really helpful, it was something she had to deal with. 

So I was blindsided by her affair but it's something I always thought she was capable of. I've had dreams in the past about her cheating so I guess that means something. I think my insecurities stem from how attractive she is and I see how other men look at her and treat her. She is extremely outgoing and loved to be a flirt. I think she has always thrived on that attention from other men. Since the affair I've asked her to stop flirting and she agrees wholeheartedly but she never saw it as flirting.


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## KimatraAKM (May 1, 2013)

Before is EA - I'd say before he decided he wanted to leave me for a girl online our relationship was normal. He'd gotten hurt and had idle time at home so started messing around online. He was playing some multiplayer game and since I'd played them for years I saw no issue in it. But I did warn him how easily one can fall into an EA.. He promised he wasn't that immature... Then had one.. Anyway. So I'd have considered things fine. I supported him. No kids. We were doing fine. He'd describe it differently though. He told the councilor we were in a funk and he was bored. That he needs to constantly feel challenged/engaged and he didn't feel that in our marriage. I had no idea... But the counselor suggested he start doing crossword puzzles.. Seriously.

Before my "thing" - I'd say I was struggling. I felt like I was a roommate to him and I felt resentful because he had promised to make me feel special and never take me for granted again. Nothing on Valentines day. The last time I got flowers? 2008. The last time he told me he loved me when not prompted? 2008.. (2008 was when he had his EA) I was feeling like he'd hoodwinked me. He made me R and then started neglecting me. And I kept having to get flashbacks cause he was constantly texting old high school girls... Then I'd make him stop... 6 months later he'd do it again. We had 2 kids now and I was just angry... I never showed it and when I talked to him about counseling he said we were done with that and never again. I said let's start spicing up our sex life. It's fine. I said let's start having date nights? He said, when, there's no time.. So I struggled alone, felt alone and that's when I did what I did. He'd probably say there was no issue. We were doing fine.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

ConanHub said:


> Hey! Toilet paper is serious!!!! ��
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:lol: Glad you got the ridiculous nature of many of the claims. They can easily be likened to things like that. Once, I got a talk because the spoons and knives were in backward. Well, in her defense, she is left-handed and I'm a righty. Of course I conceded! I didn't want the sex well to dry up. I guess I am the weakest link. ha Anything important wasn't my business. Just the small stuff, no matter how much I brought things up.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

I _thought_ it was good.

I was wrong.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I also thought mine was good. It certainly seemed to be. But apparently my ex-husband didn't agree (although he was very opposed to getting a divorce). 

All of that seems far in the past now and except when I'm here I rarely think about it. I never thought I would feel that way (considering it was a very long marriage and I intended for it to last forever) but I'm a lot stronger than I used to be.


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