# How do you know if they are cheating or just a womanizer/flirt?



## Katy44 (May 9, 2009)

My h has always been flirt and had a wandering eye. That by itself has always hurt me. Would he go all the way and have an affair? I don't know. He tells me all the time it is my insecurity. If it is me, I would sure like to be sure so I can do something about that. 

Please help! Is it me or him? I never felt this way in relationships before him years ago.


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## johnamos (May 8, 2009)

My wife knows I look her patented expression "look but don't touch".


What keeps me from cheating 7 STD's. Thats enough for me, doubt could perform with such a thought in head. How could/would you be certain you not bringing home a gift to spouse.


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## DarthQuagmire (May 12, 2009)

i have the wandering eye, like bad, im crazy about other women and sex. I LOVE to look. and she knows it but i can say that I wouldnt EVER cheat on her. If i had the chance id always include her! So there are a few of us out there that wont do anyone else unless we had peermission. Hell I dont even want anyone else i just love to look.


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## SaxonMan (Apr 1, 2009)

Katy44 said:


> *My h has always been flirt and had a wandering eye. That by itself has always hurt me.* Would he go all the way and have an affair? I don't know. *He tells me all the time it is my insecurity.* If it is me, I would sure like to be sure so I can do something about that.


It's amazing the number of people that cause other's insecurity and then complain that they're insecure!

Your husband shouldn't be displaying a "flirty" nature and a wandering eye. It's disrespectful and is bound to make you feel uncomfortable.

He needs to stop that behaviour.


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## Katy44 (May 9, 2009)

huh, thanks SaxonMan for the wise words that felt like a light bulb moment for me.  That really helped me.


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## stillINshock (Apr 9, 2009)

I agree with SaxonMan. It is totally disrespectful. He's choosing to do something that he should know hurts you. In my case, I had tried to communicate this to my H many times. He unfortunately went as far as having an EA that was moving in the direction of being physical. It took almost completely losing me for him to snap out of it. Trust your gut. Speak your mind and heart.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Why would anyone continue that behavior (as though still single)??? 

When you decide to marry, presumably you've found "the one". Why continue to flirt? 

Yes, everyone looks. It's human. But to follow up on the look by flirting? Nope. That's just wrong. 

He will cheat on you, eventually. Decide now how you want to handle that when (NOT if) it happens. 

Either he stops it right now or you decide the consequences. Try moving out for a couple of days. See what happens. Definately (try to) talk. Make sure he knows how you feel about his actions! He must stop and commit to your marriage.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I disagree with the last three posters...

I am a self admitted heavy flirt, I love to look at women admire their beauty. I can safely say that woman is georgous, beautiful, hot, etc.

My wife can also say that man is good looking, handsome, a stud.

the Mentalist guy is her latest heartthrob, she will even use her "toy" while watching the show when I am not home.

neither one of us has ever cheated nor do we want to. We do enjoy looking at memebers of the opposite sex.


One time we were at a carnival with another couple and this woman walked by, she was blonde and obvious large implants. The other guy comes over to me and whispers to me, "wow did you see that woman?" I said, "yea the blonde?" and then I say out loud to my wife, "hey honey did you see that?" my wife replied, "the blonde with the big boobs?" I said, "yep", she replied, "cute girl but a bit obnoxious with those things, don't you think?" I said, " nah, they look good to me" she just laughed and said, "figured you would say that"

The other guy got all mad and said to me, "great now my wife will get mad and be upset with me the rest of the night!" I said, "you're kidding right? It's not like you are going to dump your wife and run over to the blonde!" LOL 

my wife and I can discuss anything and talk about anything, we are very open.

If you can't be then why are you married?


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