# Sex after the EA...



## mrsbroken (Sep 23, 2009)

I am not sure if this is the right place to post this but most people that reads this forum may know my story. I am not sure if hubby has ever had sex with the OW said that he didn't and I am trying to trust this not sure if this is 100% true. The last couple of days he has been acting werid. Not really talking just coming home from work eating then looking online and then going to bed. For the past couple mths when I try to have sex with him he has made excuses why he doesn't want to have sex. Tried, doesn't feel good or just we will play in the morning(which we do not do) He says he loves me or he wouldn't be here but we are only having sex once every 3-4days. Is that normal or is it me? Tues night I told him I feel used that the only time we have sex is when he wants it I was crying then we had what I call pity sex. I am hating our sex life now when he was having his EA the sex never stoped was great as it had ever been. Any ideas what I can do?


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## HopeinHouston (Mar 1, 2010)

How long ago did you find out about the OW? Based on what you say, that 'during' his EA you were having lots of great sex and now not so much, it sounds to me like he is still holding on in some way to the OW, or at least holding out of getting fully involved with you. 

My marriage was the same way. My sex life had been great during the 2 years that my wife was having an EA. When I found out and everything came out there was about a 5-6 week period where she was in limbo, still kind of hanging on to the OM, or at the very least, not fully commiting to us yet. Once we got past that point though, and she really opened up to me it has been incredible - better than ever. In fact in March alone we had sex like 22 times ... it's a _little_ less frequent than that this month, but still it has been a very good month. 

As far as advice I can give, it would be mostly to keep working on the marriage and as things heal he should open back up to you I would expect. I don't know what else to say other than I am sorry, and I hope that it works out.


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