# "Fitness" Tests....a realization...Wow!!!



## NavyBuckeye (Feb 23, 2011)

I was skimming through some of the posts and I cam across one about "Nice Guys" and the different types of personalities. It has a bunch of posts from BigBadWolf...and I have to say thank you. 

I am an Alpha male but I think I have been failing these "Fitness" tests. In fact I never even realized I was being put through them until I read that post. It is an epiphany, it really is and I need to wake up and recognize.

The one I know I have failed a thousand times; the am I getting fat test. She works out and she looks very good, fit, curvy, nice bossum very attractive. But every once in a while, if she starts snacking....she will put on a few pounds. She always notices and then tries on some jeans....and they don't fit (even if they fit a week ago or two even). She will pull me in and ask me if I think she has gotten fat. I don't think she has gotten fat but I can tell she has but on some padding but not fat. 

I look at her and tell her I don't think she has gotten fat. Even though I can tell that she has put on a few pounds. But technically I'm not lying.....but that's the darn test I'm failing.....she wants me to see what she is seeing, she wants me to validate that her jeans don't fit, she doesn't want me not to hurt her feelings.....

I'm an engineer and did well in school....but this test (and others) I have failed numerous times.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Yes, that's right.

When she asks if her ass looks fat, you say...."Ass? Love some!". Then take her into the bedroom.

You can read this response any many other manning up discussions on Atholk's blog. It's awesome!

Go to Married Man Sex Life to read his blog.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

If I ask about such things, I am certainly not looking for the brutal honesty of "yes dear your butt looks like a bulging pile of cottage cheese in that" HAA well not if he wants his face to remain intact LMAO Really though, I would settle for "you look fine but I really like how you look in (fill in blank)" 

Believe it or not.... I am even happy with... "I just plain like how you look" or better... "You realize you look good regardless of the pounds right?" Better yet.... "Sure I see the pouch, but it turns me on and I am willing to show you how much RIGHT NOW (insert dirty little play here)"

But that's just me


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

my wife will ask me about which shoes look better, when i pick one she will get huffy and grill me as to whats wrong with the one i didnt pick, turns into me saying its just better if you never ask these questions. wtf?


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Oakey..
The correct response to that sh$t test is humor. Respond by saying "well, there is nothing wrong with the other pair. I just think they would look better on you when your legs are over my shoulders.". Then give her a playful booty slap...and your out the door on your date!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

You guys got some serious headaches.


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## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

NavyBuckeye said:


> The one I know I have failed a thousand times; the am I getting fat test. She works out and she looks very good, fit, curvy, nice bossum very attractive. But every once in a while, if she starts snacking....she will put on a few pounds. She always notices and then tries on some jeans....and they don't fit (even if they fit a week ago or two even). She will pull me in and ask me if I think she has gotten fat. I don't think she has gotten fat but I can tell she has but on some padding but not fat.
> 
> I look at her and tell her I don't think she has gotten fat. Even though I can tell that she has put on a few pounds. But technically I'm not lying.....but that's the darn test I'm failing.....she wants me to see what she is seeing, she wants me to validate that her jeans don't fit, she doesn't want me not to hurt her feelings.....



IDK dude, there are people on this forum who think that women evolved back at the Dawn of Man to cheat on a dude b/c he turns the lights off when she asks, or something. I'm exaggerating but I'm not.

Yes, "ONOZ R mai pantz shrinkingz??!?" is kind of asking for it, and the answer is definitely not "No, honey, of course not! I'd never tell you you'd gained ten pounds oh no what have I done please forgive me!" and then rush out to buy flowers to make up for what you let slip. But *EDIT: If you are not a "nice guy"* take this stuff in moderation, b/c it side effects include crazy passive-aggressive power-trip stuff.

For example, my wife leaves the gas on the stove sometimes. She also sometimes doesn't close the fridge until it seals properly. A bunch of people here say I should call my wife at work, tell her she left the gas on, then leave the house, maybe start playing with matches etc. B/c, you know, she left the gas on to totally test my ability to track big game. You know, like, she needs to respect my instinctual ability to smell large docile herbivore feces and not abuse it. Next step is she's going to start having sex with Alpha Males when she says she's going to get groceries, then try to fool me by actually coming home w/ groceries in a timely fashion. Wait, I thought men were supposed to bring home food. Don't let her go to the meat aisle! She's taking away your Real Alpha Male Power! 

But then again, I hurt my wife's feelings, say things that make her upset without even trying, don't tell her she's lost weight when she hasn't, etc., am honest about not liking the dinner she made, etc.

Maybe for you the "is my ass bigger" question was one of those.

Sometimes you have to get your way for the hell of it on stupid **** you don't care about, or else you'll never get any of the stupid little stuff you do want.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Less,

Are you in counseling?


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

I suppose me and my wife is a unique pair....

she says "if I ask you, I want the honest truth, don't send me out the door thinking every-things great, and then people start to stare at me funny"

and I ( as she knew from the start ) am a brutally honest person....
plus I do not want to be that guy who says "sure honey, those jeans look fantastic" when I think " no those jeans give you muffin top and makes your ass look droopy"....

so for me its a dumb idea to ask me a question because you want a compliment...
you'll only get 100% truth....

to fitness test me only make me to look like the jerk I am, instead of the jerk you love...


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

I remember some comedian a while back talking about the "ass fat" question;
"Honey, do these jeans make my ass look fat?"

"No, your ass makes your ass look fat. The jeans are doing their best to hold it in!"

I get called in to the same situation multiple times a week. I truly do think that my wife has a beautiful figure. She just turned 50, is 5'4", and weighs about 120 lbs. She has "C" boobs, slim hips and just enough ass to make me want to bite it.

She constantly talks like she's a whale and I always tell her that she looks great. She says that she doesn't look like the 20-30 year olds that we see on TV. I tell her that I am 47 and I think that 25 year olds are fun to look at for about 10 minutes, but I also want someone to talk to. I tell her that she is exactly what I want and that she is beautiful, smart, funny, and that she will always be my bride.


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## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Less,
> 
> Are you in counseling?


Yes.


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

wadewilson said:


> i suppose me and my wife is a unique pair....
> 
> She says "if i ask you, i want the honest truth, don't send me out the door thinking every-things great, and then people start to stare at me funny"
> 
> ...


love this!


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Less,

I don't think you understand what the fitness test is all about. It's not about lying to her all the time to keep her happy. It's handling that absurd behavior that makes absolutely no sense but to end up starting a fight with you because ANY answer is the wrong answer.

When your wife is asking you if her ass looks fat, she's not asking you if her ass looks fat. She's asking you if YOU think she's still still the most beautiful woman in the world. If you analyze the response, it's not lying. "ass? Yes I do want some!". Means exactly that. It's not a lie, because I always want some of my wifes ass. Plus, the absurd question just got deflected into something more positive for both of you. She knows you still want her, and you just got yourself a piece.

If your wife really wanted to know if her ass was fat, she would ask her girlfriends.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Before I ask on a matter of fashion or taste... I do take the time to consider the source, sorry guys, but if I look at your outfit and wonder if the dog picked out by marking it for you then i ain't gonna take your opinion I am just asking to be nice... but on a matter of just how I look? Sure, if I am going out with the man I want him to find me as attractive as possible.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

less_disgruntled said:


> Yes.


Good.

I'd work on that reservoir of anger first.


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## Neil (Jan 5, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> It's handling that absurd behavior that makes absolutely no sense but to end up starting a fight with you because ANY answer is the wrong answer.


Can we (or I) make the assumption that this is the general "Overview/Description" of a test?

And, also, what if your partner pick out 2 dresses and asked your opinion (Genuinely) on which you thought she looked best in.

Is this still a subconcious test, even though you would not end up arguing, and can you still use the humour ie. Doesn't matter to me, I would still **** you in either of them

Just trying to ensure I don't miss any "Tests"...


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

If I ask my fiance which dress I looked better in, and he told me, he preffered one over the other, I would wear it and more often too.

I want him to tell me, however I want him to be kind about it, and tell me how attractive he thinks I am too.


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## Neil (Jan 5, 2011)

Syrum said:


> If I ask my fiance which dress I looked better in, and he told me, he preffered one over the other, I would wear it and more often too.
> 
> I want him to tell me, however I want him to be kind about it, and tell me how attractive he thinks I am too.


Well, yes, thats great...

I admit thats how I do handle them, honestly. But I am trying to work out if these are still tests when its a genuine question and you on the other hand are wanting honesty like that and it won't turn into an arguement.

Trying to work out if tests aer only their when their are potential problems in your relationship, or is this a forever continuing cycle of tests throughout life


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Neil said:


> Well, yes, thats great...
> 
> I admit thats how I do handle them, honestly. But I am trying to work out if these are still tests when its a genuine question and you on the other hand are wanting honesty like that and it won't turn into an arguement.
> 
> Trying to work out if tests aer only their when their are potential problems in your relationship, or is this a forever continuing cycle of tests throughout life



I can't imagine using something so silly as a test, but then I can't imagine being with someone who would place all the importance on my physical appearance. I am not even sure what it would be testing....


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Neil said:


> Can we (or I) make the assumption that this is the general "Overview/Description" of a test?
> 
> And, also, what if your partner pick out 2 dresses and asked your opinion (Genuinely) on which you thought she looked best in.
> 
> ...


Niel,
It would only be a test if you told her which dress you liked, and then she got upset with you and asked you what was wrong with the other one, like "what? Don't I look good in the other one!" in that nice tone you know where there is absolutely no right answer. If she asks, you tell, and she genuinely appreciates your opinion, then that isn't a test.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

woodstock said:


> Before I ask on a matter of fashion or taste... I do take the time to consider the source, sorry guys, but if I look at your outfit and wonder if the dog picked out by marking it for you then i ain't gonna take your opinion I am just asking to be nice... but on a matter of just how I look? Sure, if I am going out with the man I want him to find me as attractive as possible.


Wood stock....
Guys don't have the fashion gene, of that I'm sure! Lol! If we look like we are wearing something the dog vomited up in a myriad of colors, I for one would definitely want you to tell me "you know what? I think that grey shirt and jeans looks better on you". Subtle, but effective. Of course, to a guy, you saying..." your wearing THAT!". Is also a good maneuver. I for one wouldn't get offended by that. Lol!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Niel,
> It would only be a test if you told her which dress you liked, and then she got upset with you and asked you what was wrong with the other one, like "what? Don't I look good in the other one!" in that nice tone you know where there is absolutely no right answer. If she asks, you tell, and she genuinely appreciates your opinion, then that isn't a test.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Honestly I thought that scenario only happened in crappy sitcoms and romantic comedies. I have NEVER heard of that really happening in life. More like a male interpretation of something different LOL Ya, cute and funny, but I don't think it's real. Has a woman ever really reacted with the "well what different with the other one?" If they have, then myself and my group of friends look way more rational than some HAHA


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Neil said:


> Can we (or I) make the assumption that this is the general "Overview/Description" of a test?
> 
> And, also, what if your partner pick out 2 dresses and asked your opinion (Genuinely) on which you thought she looked best in.
> 
> ...


Oh! And NEVER say..."doesn't matter to me.". That is WAY to passive. She wants your opinion and you just deflected the decision back on her, which isn't what her intent was.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

woodstock said:


> Honestly I thought that scenario only happened in crappy sitcoms and romantic comedies. I have NEVER heard of that really happening in life. More like a male interpretation of something different LOL Ya, cute and funny, but I don't think it's real. Has a woman ever really reacted with the "well what different with the other one?" If they have, then myself and my group of friends look way more rational than some HAHA


Haha! You haven't met my wife yet!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Wood stock....
> Guys don't have the fashion gene, of that I'm sure! Lol! If we look like we are wearing something the dog vomited up in a myriad of colors, I for one would definitely want you to tell me "you know what? I think that grey shirt and jeans looks better on you". Subtle, but effective. Of course, to a guy, you saying..." your wearing THAT!". Is also a good maneuver. I for one wouldn't get offended by that. Lol!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I just buy the guy stuff I like to see him in. Have yet to find one that doesn't respond HAHA I would appreciate it though if the stuff I bought didn't end up being grease rags though HEHE

I pay attention when I get an extra compliment and either wear that more often or try to wear things similar. I try also to pay attention to the opposite, though sometimes I just really do like how I look in something he doesn't like so much (think we all do that. Case in point, men who still wear the underwear and sox of indescribable color HAHA)


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Haha! You haven't met my wife yet!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Guessing she looked upon Lucy as a role model? HAHA


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## Neil (Jan 5, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Oh! And NEVER say..."doesn't matter to me.". That is WAY to passive. She wants your opinion and you just deflected the decision back on her, which isn't what her intent was.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow,

I really need to be sure in my language. All these things I can see over the years how it comes over as passive. Oops, that's going to change.

Cheers for clearing up my question over tests too, I suppose the answer is to ensure that your response makes sure it can't ALSO turn into one to start with (ie the dress scenario you went back over)


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Just say "They both look great but if you really want to know.. *insert choice here* REALLY turns ME on"


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

woodstock said:


> Guessing she looked upon Lucy as a role model? HAHA


We'll......she may start charging me 5 cents for her opinions soon...lol

Or, if it's the other Lucy, I should change my name to Ricky.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Neil said:


> Trying to work out if tests aer only their when their are potential problems in your relationship, or is this a forever continuing cycle of tests throughout life


I think the testing ig going to be there for the rest of your life. The tests will probably just change a bit, depending upon what's going on in your lives at the time.

I would definitely have to defer to Conrad, MEM, and Atholk for advise for myself as I learn more, that's for sure.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Neil (Jan 5, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> I think the testing ig going to be there for the rest of your life. The tests will probably just change a bit, depending upon what's going on in your lives at the time.
> 
> I would definitely have to defer to Conrad, MEM, and Atholk for advise for myself as I learn more, that's for sure.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


mmm,

I suppose what makes it different for me, is that their is actually no EA or PA, just me (and I suppose my partner) wanting to ensure we keep ourselves happy, and stop any crap such as an EA or PA before it starts.

This is why I am probably getting confused about tests, so I am trying to get to grips with how/when they happen and generally which scenarios/stages of relationships...


Geez, their are millions of women out their that would faint at seeing blokes talk about relationships 

This site is sooo good its unreal.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Neil said:


> Trying to work out if tests aer only their when their are potential problems in your relationship, or is this a forever continuing cycle of tests throughout life


The frequency of tests often indicates a growing concern.

So, never fear, you will always get an opportunity to pass the next one (until the EA starts, of course).


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## Neil (Jan 5, 2011)

Conrad said:


> The frequency of tests often indicates a growing concern.
> 
> So, never fear, you will always get an opportunity to pass the next one (until the EA starts, of course).


Cheers conrad, starting to make perfect sense now


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## Draguna (Jan 13, 2011)

Never heard of fitness tests before this site, but guess I grew up with how women think and well, you guys are correct. Remember when my mom or sisters would ask me which looked better and I'd say they both look great so who cares. Always end up with them saying I was too passive, had no real opinion etc.

Then, when I started saying that both look good, but depending on what you are trying to say wear this or that, they started appreciating it more. Ended up with them saying don't ask women about fashion, cause men are the ones who give good advice on what looks good. Women just try to make you feel good or bad.

Anyway, what I said meant the same thing for me, but for them, it has a completely different meaning.

Something I learned at a young age that women want decisive answers which make them feel good. Could range from: "Yes, you look goood, but in this dress better!" to financial stuff.


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## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Good.
> 
> I'd work on that reservoir of anger first.



Yeah, well, that's the point. Sometimes the problem *is* you. I'm just going to hazard to guess that most marriages aren't in trouble b/c a man doesn't have a witty riposte for silly everyday questions.

But I'll own my perspective, the last times I've asked "am I a nice guy" to anyone the answer was "well, your heart is in the right place". And my answer to questions regarding having a large butt is usually "is that a bad thing?"


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

woodstock said:


> If I ask about such things, I am certainly not looking for the brutal honesty of "yes dear your butt looks like a bulging pile of cottage cheese in that" HAA well not if he wants his face to remain intact LMAO Really though, I would settle for "you look fine but I really like how you look in (fill in blank)"
> 
> Believe it or not.... I am even happy with... "I just plain like how you look" or better... "You realize you look good regardless of the pounds right?" Better yet.... "Sure I see the pouch, but it turns me on and I am willing to show you how much RIGHT NOW (insert dirty little play here)"
> 
> But that's just me


I cannot understand why a woman would ask a man if he thought she looked fat. What a catch-22. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. And it doesn't even matter. What matters is if YOU think you are fat.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> I cannot understand why a woman would ask a man if he thought she looked fat. What a catch-22. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. And it doesn't even matter. What matters is if YOU think you are fat.



I am not so sensitive, so actually me asking my man that equates to the same as asking my best friend... I'm a freak, I actually wanna know the truth HAHA Don't even mind if it is said with some in your face humor... Ya, i'm a freak, but I accept that LOL

Now finding the man that can be trained to actually tell me the truth is hard. They think EVERYTHING said should be interpreted to some BS game, then i just get pissed... No I really want truth HAHA I am just here to screw the whole system up


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## tobio (Nov 30, 2010)

Wow. If I want to know if my derriere looks big in my jeans, I say, "does my ass look big in these jeans?" And I'm looking for a yes or no. Which I say. Yes or no answer will suffice.

If I want to know if I have gotten fat, I say, "Have I gotten fat?" If I want to know if he still fancies me, I say, "do you still fancy me?" Again- yes or no answers. I am obviously being too direct


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

tobio said:


> Wow. If I want to know if my derriere looks big in my jeans, I say, "does my ass look big in these jeans?" And I'm looking for a yes or no. Which I say. Yes or no answer will suffice.
> 
> If I want to know if I have gotten fat, I say, "Have I gotten fat?" If I want to know if he still fancies me, I say, "do you still fancy me?" Again- yes or no answers. I am obviously being too direct



I just know that yes or no is about all most men can handle. Anything else and they panic HAHA. Keep it simple right?


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

NavyBuckeye said:


> I was skimming through some of the posts and I cam across one about "Nice Guys" and the different types of personalities. It has a bunch of posts from BigBadWolf...and I have to say thank you.
> 
> I am an Alpha male but I think I have been failing these "Fitness" tests. In fact I never even realized I was being put through them until I read that post. It is an epiphany, it really is and I need to wake up and recognize.
> 
> ...


It is good to be reminded how many good men benefit from this forum.

YOu have had good responses already, I will not try to repeat them.

Fitness tests, remember though, to fail is to take them literal.

To pass, is to deflect, ignore, or turn around these fitness tests to simply remind your woman that she is fiercely desired by the kind of man who knows what he wants, and who knows how to get what he wants.

Make your woman FEEL this, this is all the point of these fitness tests.

Do not fret to make them any more complicated!


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

tobio said:


> Wow. If I want to know if my derriere looks big in my jeans, I say, "does my ass look big in these jeans?" And I'm looking for a yes or no. Which I say. Yes or no answer will suffice.
> 
> If I want to know if I have gotten fat, I say, "Have I gotten fat?" If I want to know if he still fancies me, I say, "do you still fancy me?" Again- yes or no answers. I am obviously being too direct


Yes, but what about this...

You ask your husband if your ass is fat. He responds with, "ass? Yess please". Picks you up very manly and carries you to the bedroom for some fun sumpin sumpin.
Isn't that much better than the other scenarios? Lol!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

alphaomega said:


> Yes, but what about this...
> 
> You ask your husband if your ass is fat. He responds with, "ass? Yess please". Picks you up very manly and carries you to the bedroom for some fun sumpin sumpin.
> Isn't that much better than the other scenarios? Lol!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


THAT would probably work HAHA :smthumbup:


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

Neil said:


> Well, yes, thats great...
> 
> I admit thats how I do handle them, honestly. But I am trying to work out if these are still tests when its a genuine question and you on the other hand are wanting honesty like that and it won't turn into an arguement.
> 
> Trying to work out if tests aer only their when their are potential problems in your relationship, or is this a forever continuing cycle of tests throughout life



A woman is attracted to the man that is in control of himself and his environment.

If the man is deliberetely behaving in ways to actively display these traits about himself to his woman, such a man enjoys frequent sex and his woman more often than not actively pursues him sexually, and such a man is most likely not a member of this website. 

His woman, she FEELS inside her sexually desired by a worthy male, and she is feeling sexual and not feeling insecure. This woman also is not prone to nagging.

If the man is not deliberately behaving in ways to actively display these traits about himself to his woman, rest assured his woman WILL CREATE opportunities for him to display his mettle. 

Some may call it "creating drama", others may call it "Sh!t tests" (often in the context of initial dating but believe it that it is just as present in LTRs).

On this site, we refer to these opportunities as "fitness tests".

And all good men reading this, make no mistake, they ARE opportunities, so do not fret or dread them. Simply learn to recognize them, and either deflect, ignore, or redirect as you wish.


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

Neil said:


> Can we (or I) make the assumption that this is the general "Overview/Description" of a test?
> 
> And, also, what if your partner pick out 2 dresses and asked your opinion (Genuinely) on which you thought she looked best in.
> 
> ...


Humor, it is rarely the wrong answer. Perhaps say it is better for her to remain undressed, as for your plans with her don't involve much clothing!  

To understand fitness tests, it is often helpful to look up the word "hypergamy" and spend some time identifying how it relates to long term relationships.

Regarding dresses, for example, approach the subject from NOT how good the dress makes your woman look, but how good your woman makes the dress look. 

Make this a habit in all things, that your woman is not mistaking how you feel about her. Be creative, and be persistent.

And your attitude, don't miss this, in all fitness tests and in day to day interactions, that your attitude is not swayed by this or that, much less whether your woman is able to influence your attitude by her approval or disapproval of you. 

She WANTS to see (and FEEL) her man stand strong on his own, and she will create scenarios to see (and FEEL) this if her man is not actively demonstrating this on his own initiative.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

less_disgruntled said:


> Yeah, well, that's the point. Sometimes the problem *is* you. I'm just going to hazard to guess that most marriages aren't in trouble b/c a man doesn't have a witty riposte for silly everyday questions.


Not because he doesn't.

But, I'll be willing to wager if you can get to "why" he doesn't you'd be on to something.


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

alphaomega said:


> Oh! And NEVER say..."doesn't matter to me.". That is WAY to passive. She wants your opinion and you just deflected the decision back on her, which isn't what her intent was.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



All good men reading this, read that quote above as many times as it takes to sink in.

Do not ignore any opportunity to share your opinion with your woman, she wants to see and feel her man being decisive and standing on his own.

Double edge sword, do not miss this especially during an opportunity that your woman is asking your opinion about her appearance (which dress/look fat/whatever). 

She WANTS to FEEL that you are sexually attracted to her. So even if you are a timid and shy and quiet man, do NOT be timid or shy or quiet at all to communicate this to her!

And don't stop at words alone!

Eye contact, looking her up and down, a suggestive glance, body language, a passionate kiss with few or no words, these things should become a day to day part of your interaction with her. 

Your woman is not your fishing buddy, she is a WOMAN so make sure she FEELS like a WOMAN when you are around!


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## NavyBuckeye (Feb 23, 2011)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> I cannot understand why a woman would ask a man if he thought she looked fat. What a catch-22. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. And it doesn't even matter. What matters is if YOU think you are fat.


So true and that's why I fail these fricken tests. It's always the wrong answer now matter what you say. 

I think I will take some of the advice on here and next time she asks I'm just going to reply "Do you look fat, no. Do you look like you gained a few extra pounds sure...but lets get them burned off right now..!!! Because it's turning me on!!!!"

Although I doubt that would work. I wish my tests were as simple as which shoes are nicer or which dress was better. The "Did I gain weight question is definitely a double edge sword.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

NavyBuckeye said:


> So true and that's why I fail these fricken tests. It's always the wrong answer now matter what you say.
> 
> I think I will take some of the advice on here and next time she asks I'm just going to reply "Do you look fat, no. Do you look like you gained a few extra pounds sure...but lets get them burned off right now..!!! Because it's turning me on!!!!"
> 
> Although I doubt that would work. I wish my tests were as simple as which shoes are nicer or which dress was better. The "Did I gain weight question is definitely a double edge sword.


I don't even get the measured reaction. Did you gain weight? Ask the freaking scale.


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## NavyBuckeye (Feb 23, 2011)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> I don't even get the measured reaction. Did you gain weight? Ask the freaking scale.


:iagree:

I don't get it either and that's why I fail this test every time. I usually just suck it up and say nope (even if I know she has because she doesn't fit the the jeans she wore last week).

I answered yes once......let me repeat that once. My life was hell for about two weeks after that. She didn't want the truth.

But this test occurs once a month because once a month she puts on a little weight and her jeans don't fit for a few days. I know she knows it's because of her period...but she still pulls this crap. Oh well.....I'll continue to choose whether to cut my right hand or my left hand off....


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

NavyBuckeye said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I don't get it either and that's why I fail this test every time. I usually just suck it up and say nope (even if I know she has because she doesn't fit the the jeans she wore last week).
> 
> ...



ya well, when you get your period you feel bloated fat and nasty, and you feel like you LOOK bloated fat and nasty so it is seeking affirmation of your affection and attraction... the period is a different story all together LOL


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

NavyBuckeye said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I don't get it either and that's why I fail this test every time. I usually just suck it up and say nope (even if I know she has because she doesn't fit the the jeans she wore last week).
> 
> ...


I so don't get this. You have to dance around that nonsense? If I had been you, I would have given her holy hell for asking a question then berating me for the answer. Who are these women? Are they too stupid to understand that they are being controlling, whiny, needy wusses?


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## NavyBuckeye (Feb 23, 2011)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> I so don't get this. You have to dance around that nonsense? If I had been you, I would have given her holy hell for asking a question then berating me for the answer. Who are these women? Are they too stupid to understand that they are being controlling, whiny, needy wusses?


Controlling yes. If you read the thread I started about my marriage you would get the picture of how my wife is...very borderline personality wise.....and it's taken me awhile to see that. The great people on this forum have helped shore up my own opinions.

It's under the title: Any guys have a similar experience? Any guidance or help would be great.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

BigBadWolf said:


> All good men reading this, read that quote above as many times as it takes to sink in.
> 
> Do not ignore any opportunity to share your opinion with your woman, she wants to see and feel her man being decisive and standing on his own.
> 
> ...


Good post.:smthumbup:


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## less_disgruntled (Oct 16, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Not because he doesn't.
> 
> But, I'll be willing to wager if you can get to "why" he doesn't you'd be on to something.


And I'm guessing that there's probably some other stuff he could have done that show interest and attraction, quite possibly more effectively depending on his woman's interpersonal style ("I got tickets to the ballet"?), because...



vthomeschoolmom said:


> Who are these women? Are they too stupid to understand that they are being controlling, whiny, needy wusses?



When all you've got is a hammer, etc.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Tests are innocuous and harmless for the most part. What's interesting is her response to your response. If she's just looking for a boxing match, well there you have it. And does THAT bother you?


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> Tests are innocuous and harmless for the most part. What's interesting is her response to your response. If she's just looking for a boxing match, well there you have it. And does THAT bother you?


How you handle conflict sparks attraction.


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

Conrad said:


> How you handle conflict sparks attraction.


For example...?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

credamdóchasgra said:


> For example...?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Anger indicates weakness - as if the other party "got to you".

If they get you to hijack, they are in control, and you behave like a child - they see you as one.

It's about power.

Imagine how much more attractive a person who retains their personal power is....


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Anger indicates weakness - as if the other party "got to you".
> 
> If they get you to hijack, they are in control, and you behave like a child - they see you as one.
> 
> ...


but sometimes the angry person's anger blinds them to the calm in the person they're yelling at, and they project all the extreme emotions onto the other.
Despite the obvious.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

credamdóchasgra said:


> but sometimes the angry person's anger blinds them to the calm in the person they're yelling at, and they project all the extreme emotions onto the other.
> Despite the obvious.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Would you choose to be more patient with such a person if you knew their reaction was "fear-based"?


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

Conrad said:


> Would you choose to be more patient with such a person if you knew their reaction was "fear-based"?


Yes yes yes yes yes.

Hard to remember when under attack.

But yes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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