# Husband micromanages me about our son--help



## UnhappyBlondie (Dec 10, 2010)

My husband & I have been married for 7 yrs (been together 10).
We had our baby last June, 18 months ago. My husband seems to micromanage me on just about every aspect about our son. He'll come home and ask me what I gave my son for lunch, ask me why he had a 2 hr. nap, things like that. He even hid a prescription cream we have for our son's excema (he said I use it too often on him) and even said tonight my son wasn't enjoying himself while we watched Charlie Brown's Christmas together (my son can't talk, so he didn't say that). My self-esteem has gotten so low from all these comments that I am now second guessing how I take care of my son. We have no family in our area and I don't feel comfortable talking to friends about this. 
I think of how I would be if I was divorced and I just see myself being alone (because even if I divorce, Iwon't be able to move closer to my family cause i will have to remain in this state cause of my son.) So then I think I just have to live with these unhappy circumstances--but then I'm miserable day after day. I've even thought of suicide (because I don't seem like there is any hope or seem like I will be happy no matter what happens).

Anyone have any useful advice? I don't know what to do & feel so alone. Thank you for listening.


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

UnhappyBlondie said:


> My husband & I have been married for 7 yrs (been together 10).
> We had our baby last June, 18 months ago. My husband seems to micromanage me on just about every aspect about our son. He'll come home and ask me what I gave my son for lunch, ask me why he had a 2 hr. nap, things like that. He even hid a prescription cream we have for our son's excema (he said I use it too often on him) and even said tonight my son wasn't enjoying himself while we watched Charlie Brown's Christmas together (my son can't talk, so he didn't say that). My self-esteem has gotten so low from all these comments that I am now second guessing how I take care of my son. We have no family in our area and I don't feel comfortable talking to friends about this.
> I think of how I would be if I was divorced and I just see myself being alone (because even if I divorce, Iwon't be able to move closer to my family cause i will have to remain in this state cause of my son.) So then I think I just have to live with these unhappy circumstances--but then I'm miserable day after day. I've even thought of suicide (because I don't seem like there is any hope or seem like I will be happy no matter what happens).
> 
> Anyone have any useful advice? I don't know what to do & feel so alone. Thank you for listening.


I feel for you. Whenever my H and I fight, he cuts down my parenting skills. I have 2 teenage children from first marriage and an infant and toddler from him. He commented that my toddler doesn't bathe enough (3 times a week in winter) and that I didn't make sure my infant was fed before I left for 15 minutes to pick up my teenager from work. Well hello - you know where the tub is and if you're so worried give me a hand and go pick up the teenager for me. He's said worse before - that's today's hilights. My therapist says he's jealous of my parenting skills and he tries to bring me down so I'm busy defending myself instead of noticing his short-comings. Proof is all my kids speak to me - only one of his three talk to him. Don't let him get you down, his criticism has more to do with his short-comings than yours.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

See your medical doctor--even your obgyn if that's who you are comfortable with. You need to talk to someone if you have had thoughts of suicide. Ideally, you should just tell you h, "I'm feeling so bad about myself right now that sometimes I wonder if life is worth living. Please help me." Or maybe you could go to your church--or any church you'd be comfortable in, if you don't have one. Just don't try to go it alone right now. There are people and places who will help and care; you need some TLC right now.

And the next time he corrects you or criticizes you about the child, hand everything over to him and go for a walk. Let him deal with it. He'll either do it and give you some free time to get some fresh air (good for your mental health) or he'll learn to shut up. 

But please, get help. You could be having post-partum depression, too, even this long after a birth. Let us know how you are doing. God bless.


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