# So confused......



## Nick36 (Oct 25, 2011)

A few weeks ago my wife of 7 years decided that she no longer wanted to be married. I was crushed.

To give a little background.....
She had a rough childhood.
Her parents were both married and divorced 3 times (twice to each other).
She was molested by an uncle as a child and raped in high school by a boyfriend.
Her therapist (whom she no longer sees) has diagnosed her with PTSD.

I grew up in the basic normal household (parents still married).

I knew all of this going into the relationship and I never had a problem with her history. Apparently her history caught up with her because now she says she needs to focus on herself and she cannot do that unless she has time alone to herself.

She says she still loves and cares for me but that doesn't seem to change her decision.

She says she knows that she will never find anyone who love and care for her as much as I do and she is prepared to spend the rest of her life alone.

I tried to comprehend how someone would want to do this or even come to this decision and I just can't wrap my head around it.

We never argue, we have great communication, we have similar interests and we are physically attracted to each other.

She has filed the papers already, so there is no going back at this point. Believe me, I have tried everything. She refuses counseling and even a medical exam to see if she needs to be on medication.

I don't know what to do.


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## morituri (Apr 1, 2011)

I hate asking you this but are you sure there is no other man in the background?


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## Nick36 (Oct 25, 2011)

No offense taken.
I am positive there is no one else.
When we aren't working we are spending time together.


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## frigginlost (Oct 5, 2011)

Nick36 said:


> A few weeks ago my wife of 7 years decided that she no longer wanted to be married. I was crushed.
> 
> To give a little background.....
> She had a rough childhood.
> ...


Nick, man do I ever feel for you!

I am in the *exact* same boat. Though it took 18 years for my wifes troubles as a teenager (she has a few serious ones) to show.

If you read a couple of my posts you will see what is happening with me. I had no clue it was going to happen and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

There is simply no easy way to deal with it. It hurts like living hell as the only thing I can get out of her is "it's not you, and I need to be alone right now". She even stated just like your that she is prepared to spent her life alone.

Man, reading your story really, really, hit me between the eyes!

She moved out a week ago and I am struggling with it bad. She has not filed yet, but I know it's coming....


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## Nick36 (Oct 25, 2011)

Thanks "frigginlost".

I read through you posts..... similar but different.

We still live together, communicate and spend time together, etc.

And yes, I got the "it's not you it's me" routine.


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