# Help! Am I initiating too much...



## Hulahoop99 (May 31, 2011)

Hi - I seem to have a higher sex drive than my husband. Well let me put it this way - he can masturbate to porn or jack off next to me no problem but actually doing the deed seems sometimes to be quite a chore lately as it never used to be. When I think about it it seems to coincide with me asking for sex more often. Could it be that I'm too available? I never ever say no! My love language is physical touch so I closely associate love with the emotional connection that sex offers. Its not about the orgasm for me - its all wrapped up in the emotion. How can I play hard to get so he will start initiating?


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## Roooth (May 13, 2011)

I wondered too if in the past I was too available, if the chase would have kept his interest up. I wish I has an answer for you...


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

Hulahoop99;335558 Well let me put it this way - he can masturbate to porn or jack off next to me no problem but actually doing the deed seems sometimes to be quite a chore lately as it never used to be.[/QUOTE said:


> So the main problem with him is he doesn't want to be sexual with you as in intercourse?
> 
> Maybe its not you. Maybe he is watching way to much porn and masturbating is just easier, its just him and a screen. To much porn usually zaps people from wanting close, connecting, bonding relationships to the point to where they become lazy, its a chore to have sex when they can relieve themselves with a screen.
> 
> You could still try backing off and become less available and see if that works, if not, then its probably him viewing to much porn.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I think he's watching too much porn. Now overall I'm not against it but if it takes the place of actual sex then it's too much.


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

Lazilness induced by porn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

It very well could be that he is watching to much porn.

I will tell you, from reading posts here and knowing people in RL, porn WILL and can effect your marriage if its done in access and to the point to where the person viewing the porn, would rather do that than be with their spouse. 

If he has a true problem with porn to where he would rather do that then be with you, then chances are no matter how much you initiate or not, no matter how much you try to spice it up, etc, it may fail. Because you would be competing against a computer monitor. I'm sure that's an awful feeling for people to feel they have been replaced by an object. It needs to be dealt with ASAP.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I consider porn in this respect as a form of "cheating". NOT acceptable at all. And I am not someone against using a little porn, we rent it and enjoy it together.


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## frustr8dhubby (Dec 23, 2010)

Does this really happen to men? I watch a fair amount of porn myself but I would never even remotely consider masterbating to porn as a suitable alternative to any form of sexual attention from a woman, including just an HJ.


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## husbandof6y (Jun 10, 2011)

frustr8dhubby said:


> Does this really happen to men? I watch a fair amount of porn myself but I would never even remotely consider masterbating to porn as a suitable alternative to any form of sexual attention from a woman, including just an HJ.


my wife forbids it if porn is the reason he not on top of u he has areal problem! porn turns me on so if i watch it im looking for the wife!! i believe that masterbating is wrong if your holding back from your partner that is willing and ready! porn isnt needed if your partner has a high sexual drive!


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## husbandof6y (Jun 10, 2011)

dealing with a similar situation but she just doesn't use porn shes getting it but im not! its not like i dont try!


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## dannyboyk (Jun 12, 2011)

husbandof6y said:


> dealing with a similar situation but she just doesn't use porn shes getting it but im not! its not like i dont try!


Her sexual needs are being met elsewhere. If you are married and have children with this woman (as your name suggests) then you FAIL miserably. 

Know your role. You signed the contract. Pay up to her and let her bang others. If she complains, you can go to jail and be stripped of everything!!

You are not a human being, only a slave. Enjoy it.


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## Edge (Mar 30, 2011)

If you figure it out let me know. I keep telling myself I will give my wife a chance to initiate. I will back off a bit. That works for about 30 seconds. I just can't keep my hands off of her.


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