# Facebook comment likes



## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

This isn’t something I’m worried about but it strikes me as funny.

So back in college I really got the hots for a particular girl. Even though we were both college athletes and ran in the same circles I never really talked to her. I finally worked up the courage after a few years and asked her out. We went on a single date and there was no chemistry and honestly she was pretty boring. I still thought she was hot and I’d pined after her for so long that I asked her out again and got shot down. For a few more months I tried to wear her down until finally I laid it all out and got shot down real good. When Facebook came around we became Facebook friends but never really interacted.

Ten years after college I met my wife who went to the same college as me at the same time but we didn’t know each other. Her best friend from college was also good friends with this girl I had the thing for. When we started dating and got serious I deleted all friends I’d ever had any romantic interests in including this woman (now married).

So now flash forward another 10 years and whenever I make a comment on my wife’s friend from college page this woman will like all my comments. I don’t even get a notification but I’ll check who liked my comments and it’s inevitably her. She was extraordinarily good at sending mixed signals in college so it probably shouldn’t surprise me. Anyway, it just always strikes me as funny if not a little odd.

From the female psyche point of view I wonder why she would do this.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

You should see if she likes anyone else’s posts or just yours. If it’s just yours, she wants you to see that but if she likes others’ comments as well, she might just be friendly and since she knew you, she likes your comments. But, if it’s only you...she wants you to notice that. #mybestguess


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

*Deidre* said:


> You should see if she likes anyone else’s posts or just yours. If it’s just yours, she wants you to see that but if she likes others’ comments as well, she might just be friendly and since she knew you, she likes your comments. But, if it’s only you...she wants you to notice that. #mybestguess


I’ve been off Facebook for a while but what I remember is it was just liking my posts. Probably doesn’t hurt that back then I was just an awkward college kid and now I’m a doctor.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

CallingDrLove said:


> I’ve been off Facebook for a while but what I remember is it was just liking my posts. Probably doesn’t hurt that back then I was just an awkward college kid and now I’m a doctor.


I wouldn't think much of it. Maybe she just liked what you said.


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## snowbum (Dec 14, 2021)

From the little you shared, it seems that you're a bit hung up on her. She rejected you, didn't see your worth then, and now you elude that maybe she's liking your comments because you're a doctor. Why do you care? Honestly? If my husband were pondering why a hot chick from his past was liking his posts now, I'd be a bit put off. I think you need to let it be. 10 years since you've seen her? Let it be.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

CallingDrLove said:


> I’ve been off Facebook for a while but what I remember is it was just liking my posts. Probably doesn’t hurt that back then I was just an awkward college kid and now I’m a doctor.


Yea, I stand by what I said then. It’s natural to think back at times past, but I’d let it go. Keep the past in the past kind of thing.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

snowbum said:


> From the little you shared, it seems that you're a bit hung up on her. She rejected you, didn't see your worth then, and now you elude that maybe she's liking your comments because you're a doctor. Why do you care? Honestly? If my husband were pondering why a hot chick from his past was liking his posts now, I'd be a bit put off. I think you need to let it be. 10 years since you've seen her? Let it be.


It’s actually been more like 20+ years. It wasn’t the only one but one of the comments literally was me talking about being able to get some low cost Botox for my wife and her friend because I’m a doctor. I’ve talked to my wife about this and she thought it was a little odd as well. Her attitude was “it’s her loss because your mine now”. Don’t read too much into this, I’m new on here and it seemed like a good place to ask what’s essentially a just a silly question, but I definitely see your point of view. I’ll admit there probably is a small element of feeling validated. Probably not the healthiest but I’m not perfect. I’m not hung up on anyone though. I might be hung up on times I got rejected as a child and young adult (as a concept) but not the person.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

This might be some natural guilt of hers doing this liking.

Shooting you down all those years ago bothered her conscience.

She now feels safe and secure in making this small gesture.

She does not want you to think badly of her.


Or...

She now sees her rejecting you back then was a mistake.

She is tickling your curiosity with these 'likes'.

Maybe trying to rekindle your interest.

Um, it is working.



_Lilith-_


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

CallingDrLove said:


> It’s actually been more like 20+ years. It wasn’t the only one but one of the comments literally was me talking about being able to get some low cost Botox for my wife and her friend because I’m a doctor. I’ve talked to my wife about this and she thought it was a little odd as well. Her attitude was “it’s her loss because your mine now”. Don’t read too much into this, I’m new on here and it seemed like a good place to ask what’s essentially a just a silly question, but I definitely see your point of view. I’ll admit there probably is a small element of feeling validated. Probably not the healthiest but I’m not perfect. I’m not hung up on anyone though. I might be hung up on times I got rejected as a child and young adult (as a concept) but not the person.


Your wife is awesome and you need to get over thinking about the hot chick as it’s bad juju


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Maybe constantly liking your Facebook comments is her cuckoo for cocoa puffs way of annoyingly reminding you of her existence because you deleted her from your Facebook friends list?

Oh, I don't know.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

It’s probably nothing more than her just thinking “Oh hey, I know that guy, we used to be friends”.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Because she's an attention ***** and you are a Thirsty beta.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

She wants ego kibbles from the doc, simple as that. Hopefully Dr Doofus, won’t bite snd blow up his marriage for his own goofy memories of that which he only really wanted because he could not have. Gotta razz you doc, this is really childish that you even care if she likes your comments.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

thunderchad said:


> Because she's an attention *** and you are a Thirsty beta.


and here we go with the guy who has consumed way too much PUA and Red Pill material. In my experience guys that like to throw around the words alpha and beta ad nauseum rarely know what they are talking about and are never that alpha themselves. I guess I could lay out my accomplishments but that wouldn’t be too alpha would it?


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> She wants ego kibbles from the doc, simple as that. Hopefully Dr Doofus, won’t bite snd blow up his marriage for his own goofy memories of that which he only really wanted because he could not have. Gotta razz you doc, this is really childish that you even care if she likes your comments.


I’m starting to remember why I stay away from message boards where the advice comes from people who went there seeking help.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

CallingDrLove said:


> I’m starting to remember why I stay away from message boards where the advice comes from people who went there seeking help.


What's wrong with seeking help? You're a doctor, right? If people didn't ever seek help, you wouldn't have a job.

Also this:


CallingDrLove said:


> Probably doesn’t hurt that back then I was just an awkward college kid and now I’m a doctor.


No offense, but being a doctor isn't all that. Personally, I'd rather marry a professional dog walker. Just my opinion.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

so_sweet said:


> What's wrong with seeking help? You're a doctor, right? If people didn't ever seek help, you wouldn't have a job.
> 
> Also this:
> 
> No offense, but being a doctor isn't all that. Personally, I'd rather marry a professional dog walker. Just my opinion.


I’d take advice from the doctors themselves not the patients needing their advice.

You are right, it’s not all that. The hours are long, I get woke up at all hours, and the job sucks sometimes.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

CallingDrLove said:


> I’m starting to remember why I stay away from message boards where the advice comes from people who went there seeking help.


Sorry 
Are you that easily perturbed?
I’ll stop posting on your thread.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Evinrude58 said:


> Sorry
> Are you that easily perturbed?
> I’ll stop posting on your thread.


I literally just pushed back ever so slightly after being called names. You might want to re-examine who the actual bully is here.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

CallingDrLove said:


> I’d take advice from the doctors themselves not the patients needing their advice.


So if you had a patient who was a successful stockbroker, you would refuse his advice if you wanted to buy stocks? Also, doctors are patients too sometimes.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

so_sweet said:


> So if you had a patient who was a successful stockbroker, you would refuse his advice if you wanted to buy stocks? Also, doctors are patients too sometimes.


Don’t twist what I said into something I didn’t say at all. I’m saying if you need advice about medical care you ask a doctor not someone with the disease.

If you need advice about relationships why take it from people who are in failing relationships.


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

CallingDrLove said:


> Don’t twist what I said into something I didn’t say at all. I’m saying if you need advice about medical care you ask a doctor not someone with the disease.


Well, no, I didn't twist anything. You didn't specify what kind of advice like you just did now in above quote ("medical care").


CallingDrLove said:


> If you need advice about relationships why take it from people who are in failing relationships.


I'm not in a failing relationship. I've been happily married for 14 years.

Anyway, this back and forth is kind of pointless.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

CallingDrLove said:


> Don’t twist what I said into something I didn’t say at all. I’m saying if you need advice about medical care you ask a doctor not someone with the disease.
> 
> If you need advice about relationships why take it from people who are in failing relationships.


I get what you are saying, I do.

Some people do not want to take advice from a 3000+ year old Leprechaun.
What a silly thought, gods, some mythical madness, that is.

I get that, I accept who I am and what I represent in the great scheme of things.

So, I do not let it bother me.

It is not that we need to poll our fellow beings on every matter.
No.

Rather, sometimes we need to be reminded what the correct answer and the correct response should be.

Especially, when our unreliable emotions get involved.

We sift through the available data, some of it anecdotal, and formulate the best answer.

You are not wrong in what you think, you are wrong in the way you burp back your responses.

As a physician, sometimes you need to consider the source and glean the diagnosis, directly from those at hand.

We are all vulnerable and we all (now and then) need a helping hand.

Sometimes, that entails a kick in the pants!



_King Brian-_


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> It’s actually been more like 20+ years. It wasn’t the only one but one of the comments literally was me talking about being able to get some low cost Botox for my wife and her friend because I’m a doctor. I’ve talked to my wife about this and she thought it was a little odd as well. Her attitude was “it’s her loss because your mine now”. Don’t read too much into this, I’m new on here and it seemed like a good place to ask what’s essentially a just a silly question, but I definitely see your point of view. I’ll admit there probably is a small element of feeling validated. Probably not the healthiest but I’m not perfect. I’m not hung up on anyone though. I might be hung up on times I got rejected as a child and young adult (as a concept) but not the person.


She wasn’t pining for you 20 years ago and you only had one date. Why would she show any interest today? She might actually not be showing you any interest but, simply being kind. I assume you have not been messaging one another, is that correct? Do you have any idea what her life has been like, married, kids, divorce, etc.? Maybe, 20 years later she has discovered that you became a successful doctor and that could be a draw for her. Especially, if she has struggled.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

The point is, worrying about Facebook likes is childish.


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> I’m starting to remember why I stay away from message boards where the advice comes from people who went there seeking help.


Some people don’t know how to answer a simple question. They either attack, assume or tell you what you already know.


CallingDrLove said:


> and here we go with the guy who has consumed way too much PUA and Red Pill material. In my experience guys that like to throw around the words alpha and beta ad nauseum rarely know what they are talking about and are never that alpha themselves. I guess I could lay out my accomplishments but that wouldn’t be too alpha would it?


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

CallingDrLove said:


> I’m starting to remember why I stay away from message boards where the advice comes from people who went there seeking help.


As far as I know, with few exceptions, everyone who is here came here for help. If you don't want to hear from other people with problems, I'm not sure who can help you, besides @Laurentium. There are people here who have successfully overcome the problems they came here with, but they still had a problem at one time. A lot of people have been hurt beyond belief, and when they reply, the hurt comes through. It's tough to hear (I've experienced it as well) but sometimes it's good to hear. Other times, it's just abusive, but the abuse really shouldn't affect you. There are other people who have convinced themselves that the world revolves around them. They're easily spotted. It's just a message board. If you really want help, you can get it here. You just have to be tough and patient.


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

so_sweet said:


> What's wrong with seeking help? You're a doctor, right? If people didn't ever seek help, you wouldn't have a job.
> 
> Also this:
> 
> ...


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

Sfort said:


> As far as I know, with few exceptions, everyone who is here came here for help. If you don't want to hear from other people with problems, I'm not sure who can help you, besides @Laurentium. There are people here who have successfully overcome the problems they came here with, but they still had a problem at one time. A lot of people have been hurt beyond belief, and when they reply, the hurt comes through. It's tough to hear (I've experienced it as well) but sometimes it's good to hear. Other times, it's just abusive, but the abuse really shouldn't affect you. There are other people who have convinced themselves that the world revolves around them. They're easily spotted. It's just a message board. If you really want help, you can get it here. You just have to be tough and patient.


People should be careful about giving advice, setting off triggers, what about a safe space to discuss issues instead of being judged?


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

thunderchad said:


> The point is, worrying about Facebook likes is childish.


Is it childish if he is asking a question and wants feedback? I don’t think so.


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> I’ve been off Facebook for a while but what I remember is it was just liking my posts. Probably doesn’t hurt that back then I was just an awkward college kid and now I’m a doctor.


I think your feelings are pretty normal.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Junebug86 said:


> People should be careful about giving advice, setting off triggers, what about a safe space to discuss issues instead of being judged?


People should be courteous and helpful in all walks of life. I agree with you. However....


Junebug86 said:


> what about a safe space to discuss issues instead of being judged?


It's not my forum, but I'm not sure that TAM is the place for people seeking a safe space. TAM seems to me to be a place to get the cold, hard truth, even if you don't want to hear it or it makes you uncomfortable. But I'm just a poster. What do I know?


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

so_sweet said:


> Well, no, I didn't twist anything. You didn't specify what kind of advice like you just did now in above quote ("medical care").
> 
> I'm not in a failing relationship. I've been happily married for 14 years.
> 
> Anyway, this back and forth is kind of pointless.


I think it would be helpful to stick to answering the question. He asked for the help of women on this matter. Why attack the doctor? He simply want feedback from women as to why this woman might be liking his post.


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

Sfort said:


> People should be courteous and helpful in all walks of life. I agree with you. However....
> 
> It's not my forum, but I'm not sure that TAM is the place for people seeking a safe space. TAM seems to me to be a place to get the cold, hard truth, even if you don't want to hear it or it makes you uncomfortable. But I'm just a poster. What do I know?


In the midst of issues, we all need a safe place. What makes you believe the cold, hard truth you are offering is helpful? We need to be sensitive to other people, not make assumptions.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Junebug86 said:


> In the midst of issues, we all need a safe place. What makes you believe the cold, hard truth you are offering is helpful? We need to be sensitive to other people, not make assumptions.


Good luck with that.


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

thunderchad said:


> Because she's an attention *** and you are a Thirsty beta.


Really? Why call him a name?


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Junebug86 said:


> People should be careful about giving advice, setting off triggers, what about a safe space to discuss issues instead of being judged?


Some folks need to be snapped out of whatever behavior pattern they are in. Coddling them won’t help them.

In OP’s case he wonders what someone’s motivation is for clicking a button on a web site and I think it’s fair on a public forum to ask, “Why do you care?”

How does any answer you’re going to find on TAM change your behavior?

For all we know, she likes every post on Facebook, even ones she doesn’t like because she enjoys clicking the button and watching the thumb come up.

There was another person who came yesterday asking for a safe space after getting bashed around a bit and by the end of that thread the description of events and the problem had completely changed.

So sometimes it takes some probing to find the real issues, which he should be familiar with from his profession.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

A few key points

1. I am not friends with this person on Facebook.
2. I’ve had zero interactions with her in well over 10 years
3. The last time I had any contact with her was after she had a child die a few hours after birth and I said I would pray for her and her family. We are both Christians and we discussed spiritual stuff when we knew each other in college
4. She has no way of even knowing I noticed her likes on my comments
5. These likes were on my comments on a mutual friends post. 
6. I don’t even have an active Facebook account right now
7. She gave very strong mixed signals when I knew her in college. For example I invited her to one of my meets in college. She came and I looked up in the stands and she was sitting with my parents. 
8.The entire situation with this woman was difficult for me when I was in college. If I knew then what I know now about women I would have done things drastically different. 
9. I’ll freely admit that I feel some vindication
10. If I have a hang up it’s about the situation and not the person. This woman is actually quite plain and boring compared with my wife. 
11. I was essentially asking a throw away question to a group of women who might have some insight. 
12. I was very cordial until people that don’t know anything about me started calling me “thirsty beta”, “doctor doofus”, and ridiculed people of my profession as a partner based on nothing more than me mentioning what I do for a living. 
13. I’ve never felt even the slightest bit of an urge to contact this women because of her likes. I was simply making an observation and outside of my wife, my brother, and you anonymous folks here I’ve never mentioned it to anyone else.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

@CallingDrLove 
Chill. You are over-reading the whole thing, including this board. 

Some hot girl from your past liked a comment you made on a mutual friend's page. So what? You were talking about some perk you were giving your wife. Maybe the woman was happy you were giving your wife anything. Maybe she wants free botox too. Maybe she likes all sorts of things on social media. In the end it's meaningless because it's social media. 

At no point was it a proposition, some indication she wants an affair or in any way inappropriate. If she PMs you or makes an appointment in your office, then there is something to be concerned about. A stupid click of a mouse is nothing. 

Move on.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

CallingDrLove said:


> A few key points
> 
> 1. I am not friends with this person on Facebook.
> 2. I’ve had zero interactions with her in well over 10 years
> ...


Her “like” isn’t really the issue I think is what some may be reading in your posts, it’s more than you seem to care. You told your wife, your brother and now posting it here - I’m not judging you, just offering some insight into how maybe there is something unresolved there that you need to think about. It might not be her at all, but something sparked inside of your mind about her “like.”

FB has been known to drive a wedge in many marriages/relationships so be careful that if you see more “likes” of hers to your comments, that you just leave it be. Not saying you won’t, but there so many stories on here that start with ...”an old flame reached out to me on FB...”


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> and here we go with the guy who has consumed way too much PUA and Red Pill material. In my experience guys that like to throw around the words alpha and beta ad nauseum rarely know what they are talking about and are never that alpha themselves. I guess I could lay out my accomplishments but that wouldn’t be too alpha would it?
> 
> 
> thunderchad said:
> ...


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

CallingDrLove said:


> It’s probably nothing more than her just thinking “Oh hey, I know that guy, we used to be friends”.


I think this comment was lost in the discussion. I’ve never thought it was any sort of indication of interest beyond *possibly* being a signal of “hey remember me, we used to be friends”. 

My comments regarding being hurt by the situation and feeling vindicated are somehow also ignored. I freely admitted I was hurt by this person and it’s affected me for a long time but then all the comments are people telling me what I already freely admitted to.

I’ve been trying to engage in a social media and opinion fast and it was a mistake to post here.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

What kind of response were you hoping for? That we think she’s interested? I think we have been helpful considering we don’t know all the nuances of your situation.


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## theloveofmylife (Jan 5, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> I think this comment was lost in the discussion. I’ve never thought it was any sort of indication of interest beyond *possibly* being a signal of “hey remember me, we used to be friends”.


So much so that you registered and joined a message board to discuss it. Hmm. 

Wishing your wife the best of luck.


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Can a moderator shut down this thread and possibly delete my profile?


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> My comments regarding being hurt by the situation and feeling vindicated are somehow also ignored. I freely admitted I was hurt by this person and it’s affected me for a long time but then all the comments are people telling me what I already freely admitted to.


You're right. I missed you being hurt by the situation. I'm sorry I missed that very important piece. My Question remains, why? This was someone who was out of your life 20+ years ago. It was a like on social media. Stop giving her so much power. 

Listen to a country song called _Unanswered Prayers_. It's about a guy like you who pined for girl that got away. Upon encountering her again later in life he finally realized he got the better deal with his wife & family. You did too. Listen to the song. Let her go. Romance your wife & have a happy life!


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> Can a moderator shut down this thread and possibly delete my profile?





CallingDrLove said:


> I think this comment was lost in the discussion. I’ve never thought it was any sort of indication of interest beyond *possibly* being a signal of “hey remember me, we used to be friends”.
> 
> My comments regarding being hurt by the situation and feeling vindicated are somehow also ignored. I freely admitted I was hurt by this person and it’s affected me for a long time but then all thecomments are people telling me what I already freely admitted to.
> 
> ...


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

Last post by me on this subject:

Let’s flip the script on this situation. Let’s say a woman who’s self esteem had been ruined by an abusive ex came on here and asked a group of guys what it means that this guy who used to treat her horribly is now liking all her comments on a mutual friends posts. Then the men came in with comments saying “you are just hung up on him” and “I wish your husband good luck”.

Maybe she joined to discuss parenting but hasn’t posted a question there yet and then get accused of joining because she’s hung up on her ex and wants to cheat on her husband.

Hell, I had a girl at Church camp when I was a sophomore in high school who I spent a long time talking to one night about my feelings for her which seemed to be reciprocated. She never talked to me again and it affected how I viewed women for a long time. I don’t pine for that girl but I’m self aware enough to say the incident effected me. I’ve ran into her many times over the years but never spoke with her or her me. My brother knows her and her husband and tells me I didn’t miss anything. Same deal here. I make an observation and I’m told I’m stuck on someone and going to blow up my marriage. Unbelievable.

Edit: I’m a stubborn hot head and I like to have the last word but at least I know that about myself.


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## Junebug86 (Mar 16, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> Last post by me on this subject:
> 
> Let’s flip the script on this situation. Let’s say a woman who’s self esteem had been ruined by an abusive ex came on here and asked a group of guys what it means that this guy who used to treat her horribly is now liking all her comments on a mutual friends posts. Then the men came in with comments saying “you are just hung up on him” and “I wish your husband good luck”.
> 
> ...


Aren’t the majority of us affected by experiences we had at different stages of our life? Your question is one that I can easily understand.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson (Mar 4, 2018)

Let's keep the script. That was 20 yrs ago. Yes, many wonder why it's a hang up for you. What's recently changed in your life that such a memory now bears so much weight?


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## so_sweet (10 mo ago)

Junebug86 said:


> I think it would be helpful to stick to answering the question. He asked for the help of women on this matter.
> Why attack the doctor? He simply want feedback from women as to why this woman might be liking his post.


If you're saying I "attacked the doctor", please show me where.
I believe I'm allowed to state my opinion that being a doctor isn't all that and that I would not marry a doctor, if that is what you are considering an "attack".


CallingDrLove said:


> I’m starting to remember why I stay away from message boards where the advice comes from people who went there seeking help.


The above seems more like an "attack". It seems the quote above is saying that people here can't offer good advice because they came here seeking help. That's not insulting?

In my opinion, a person can have a problem in their relationship but still offer good relationship advice to others, often BECAUSE of the problem(s) they've experienced,

I'm not going to go back and forth pointlessly about this sort of thing. Of course you're free to reply, but I'm out of this thread.

Before I go, I will say to the OP, CallingDrLove, if you felt "attacked" by what I said, then my apologies to you.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

My advice would be the same to a woman who posted a similar scenario - that she needs to reflect on where this is coming from, that there could be an unresolved issue that needs to be dealt with.

Maybe you never really let it go and the feelings got buried deep and her liking your posts now on social media, triggered all those bad feelings. We can only guess here, but I don’t think that’s unusual to be honest, we bury bad feelings a lot but that doesn’t mean we’re healed. 😌


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## CallingDrLove (9 mo ago)

*Deidre* said:


> My advice would be the same to a woman who posted a similar scenario - that she needs to reflect on where this is coming from, that there could be an unresolved issue that needs to be dealt with.
> 
> Maybe you never really let it go and the feelings got buried deep and her liking your posts now on social media, triggered all those bad feelings. We can only guess here, but I don’t think that’s unusual to be honest, we bury bad feelings a lot but that doesn’t mean we’re healed. 😌


This is a reasonable response. It’s one thing to say that I noticed her likes and it made me feel good because I’ve suffered with feelings of inadequacy since childhood and the situation with her added to that. It’s quite another to make broad statements that I’m pining for her and willing to blow up my marriage to pursue her.


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## *Deidre* (Feb 7, 2016)

CallingDrLove said:


> This is a reasonable response. It’s one thing to say that I noticed her likes and it made me feel good because I’ve suffered with feelings of inadequacy since childhood and the situation with her added to that. It’s quite another to make broad statements that I’m pining for her and willing to blow up my marriage to pursue her.


Well, as you share more, we can learn more and offer advice that might seem like it fits more with your situation. So now you know where this is most likely stemming from, which is good.

I personally think her liking your comments and only yours is evidence of someone who lacks boundaries, knowing a little of the backstory of this. Now that I’m married, I don’t like any former bf’s (or guys I had a date or two with in the past) comments on FB. I don’t see her actions as entirely innocent, but in the end, how you view it is what matters most. If you ignore her, it should stop.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

CallingDrLove said:


> Edit: I’m a stubborn hot head and I like to have the last word but at least I know that about myself.


A lot of us have the same problem. If you will stick it out with us, learn the culture of the group, continue participating, and not be too quick to feel attacked, you'll probably like this place. The "attacks" feel very personal, but they're really not since no one really knows you. 

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, a lot of people here have been devastated by their love interests. It's hard to believe that some humans can be so cruel. Your profession is not a bowl of cherries. You have to take the good with the bad. So, hang around for a while. The participation is usually worth the initiation. Many of the people here can give you better advice than you can get from your most trusted colleagues. 

And there are quite a few professionals here, too.


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## re16 (Oct 9, 2012)

I think she is a college acquaintance who feels safe to like posts of someone she knows because he is married. Totally normal college acquaintance behavior, nothing more.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

CallingDrLove said:


> Let’s flip the script on this situation. Let’s say a woman who’s self esteem had been ruined by an abusive ex came on here and asked a group of guys what it means that this guy who used to treat her horribly is now liking all her comments on a mutual friends posts.


I generally try to keep my answers relatively gender neutral & try not to give answers that favor one gender over the other but there are differences. 

You took what this woman did to you all those years ago very personally. It was all part of how you were feeling at the time -- vulnerable & insecure. Your later in life accomplishments indicate to me that you were a sensitive bright guy & like many smart kids in high school & university felt a bit out-classed by the popular kids in school. Many people felt that way but at the time you probably felt all alone. 

As an adult this woman's "like" is most likely innocuous. If a man from the past popped up & was liking multiple posts made by a woman from his past, that would feel a bit more predatory than this because men have a tendency to be pushy & aggressive. This is a bit of an exaggeration & stereotype, but what is it that you medical folks say when making a differential diagnosis? When you hear hoof beats, think horses not zebras.


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