# My husband wants a divorce



## aq706 (Sep 3, 2013)

Hello. I am new here. Just need somewhere to talk about this stuff. 

My husband wants a divorce. It's really not news to me as he has left before and he always seems to have one foot out the door and is always talking about splitting up.

But dang it, it still hurts. 

I don't know what to do. I think I'm in a better place than I have been in the past. I think I can pick myself up and move on even if I don't want to. 

We have a 7 year old little girl. His relationship with her is nonexistent even now as he's living in the same house with us. I don't want her to lose her father completely. He thinks it will get better when he moves out. I have no idea how. 

He says we have never been happy and have let this go on too long and he just wants to start over. He is not seeing anyone now. I'm almost 100% positive of this. He has cheated in the past before we were married. I know the signs. 

There are a lot of reasons I should be happy to say good riddins (sp?) to him but I absolutely hate divorce and families breaking apart and it just flat hurts to hear the things he's saying to me. 

He says he doesn't care anymore what I do. He doesn't want to try. He doesn't want this. And basically, I forced him into it. 

I wish there was a way to make him want it, want me. I want my family whole. But I think it's a lost cause at this point. 

Thanks for listening.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Hi ~
I can tell you without hesitation there is NO WAY that you can make him love you or want you.
Take Care ~


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## aq706 (Sep 3, 2013)

VeryHurt said:


> Hi ~
> I can tell you without hesitation there is NO WAY that you can make him love you or want you.
> Take Care ~


Well thanks for the reply but a little harsh. Of course, I know this deep down but wasn't looking for more hurtful words. Take care.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm so sorry your husband left. It really sounds like you are prepared as best as you can be. You just need time to heal from it all. 

It's better to divorce then to stay in a miserable marriage. Your stbxh is not a good father and it doesn't sound like he ever will be. Some people are just not cut out to be good parents and don't have interest in children. 

Good luck. You will get through this. Personally, I wouldn't ever take this man back into your life.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Sorry you are here.


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

aq- How did you force him into wanting to leave?


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## Trickster (Nov 19, 2011)

What is it that your husband wants from you that he isn't getting?


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

I don't think VeryHurt was trying to be harsh. I think he/she was trying to be supportive by reminding you (everyone really) that no one can make/force someone to love them.

First, are you really genuinely positive that he isn't seeing someone else? Even just an emotional affair? (Remember, he doesn't have to be sneaking out, coming home late, etc. in order to be in an affair) Is he protective of his phone and computer/tablet? (Like are they password protected perhaps?) Have you checked the phone bill to see if any other numbers are being called/texted a lot? On the computer does he have any instant messengers installed or use Facebook a lot and you don't have access to it? Do you check his browsing history on the computer/tablet/phone?

Of course, it might not matter now as it sounds like he has fully checked out. I'm guessing you have already tried the strategy of trying to become SuperWife and be the best spouse you can be in hopes of making him want to stay with you and your daughter. At this point, the best course of action might be to just encourage him to leave. To stand up for yourself and rather than beg or even allow him to stay while saying/doing hurtful things, and just ask him to leave. That doesn't mean you have to file for divorce yet, but maybe he just needs some time away on his own to realize what he really wants. If he is in an affair, emotional or physical, he'll be stuck in that fog for a while either way and won't be of any use to you. Upsetting the living arrangement balance could upset that relationship too. If things don't improve after a few weeks, then I'd say go ahead and file for the divorce and see if his opinion AND behavior change after that. Remember, in most states it usually takes at least 60+ days for a divorce to actually take place after filing, and in most states it takes 120+ days. So you'd still have time for him to change his mind.


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