# Has anyone ever had a good threesome experience?



## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

I am thinking about spicing up our sex life. Lately it has been ok when I get it about 3 times a week. My husband is turning 40 next week. I am 25 so I want it like all the time he barely can make it 3 times a week. So two nights ago we had sex afterwards I went to bed and he stayed up. I felt him come to bed around six in the morning. We snuggled the hour before I had to get up. When I got up dressed and ready. And walked out into the living room his computer was on. I was annoyed because our electric and has bill is already too high. So when I went to turn it off the screen saver came up on YouTube and it looked as if my husbands last search was threesomes. Because all these videos were on the screen already. First I was confused because I thought YouTube didn't show porn. Then I was pissed because we had sex less than 6 hours ago. I completely forgot about it by the time my husband came home at 11:30 at night. He said he was too tired for sex tonight. I said fine and took care of it myself. I went to bed and had an amazing hot sex dream. Involving myself and husband and another. Women. When I woke up I was so in the mood but my husband. Was dead to the world asleep. I tried to wake him
Up but he couldn't get up. I keep thinking about the dream. I have looked at previous posts on here about threesome but mostly I am getting the idea it is not a good IDea to enter the marriage So has anyone had a good experience


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## phantomfan (Mar 7, 2012)

I don't know of one that worked out. Not saying you can't but I'd avoid that in a committed relationship like the plague. It opens a can of worms that inevitably leads to other problems. I'd consider the role playing route, toys and props. There are ways to simulate some of those kinds of activities. If you love him and want to stay married, i wouldn't.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

At 40 he should be up for more than that amount. Does he exercise and eat well ? 

I'd avoid bringing anyone else into the marriage bed, it screws up more than it can help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

I think most everyone has fantasized about it at some point or another, but it is probably best left to fantasy.

There's lots of other ways to spice things up that aren't so emotionally or physically risky.


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> At 40 he should be up for more than that amount. Does he exercise and eat well ?
> 
> I'd avoid bringing anyone else into the marriage bed, it screws up more than it can help.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My husband is very very lazy and contempt with our marriage. He could go for days. With out sex. Our sex life has been very vanilla for the past 18 months. I have tried to spice it up. I have dyed my hair. Given him bjs even after he has been inside me. I have even given him anal a few times. 
He still never initiates sex. He never kisses. He hasn't gone down on me on months. I figured if this didn't spice it up nothing will


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

The problem a threesome requires a third PERSON not just a sex toy.

The toy you can put away when done, but another person with their own interests feelings passions etc is playing with real fire.

It also forever removes intimacy as something you share with your husband exclusively, it downgrades it forever.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> I think most everyone has fantasized about it at some point or another, but it is probably best left to fantasy.
> 
> There's lots of other ways to spice things up that aren't so emotionally or physically risky.


Any idea on something I haven't done that could spice it up


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> The problem a threesome requires a third PERSON not just a sex toy.
> 
> The toy you can put away when done, but another person with their own interests feelings passions etc is playing with real fire.
> 
> ...


Any idea on what I haven't done to spice it up. Get him interested again


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

hnp said:


> My husband is very very lazy and contempt with our marriage. He could go for days. With out sex. Our sex life has been very vanilla for the past 18 months. I have tried to spice it up. I have dyed my hair. Given him bjs even after he has been inside me. I have even given him anal a few times.
> He still never initiates sex. He never kisses. He hasn't gone down on me on months. I figured if this didn't spice it up nothing will


Has he had a thorough going over by a physician?

A low libido can be a sign of hypertension (high blood pressure) or low testosterone. Have blood work done on him and get his levels checked. This happens to alot of guys when they hit 40. 

Oh, and if you wanted a sex machine, you should have married a guy your age.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

hnp said:


> Any idea on something I haven't done that could spice it up


Kidnap him for the weekend.

Dress in something really over the top sexy, the tell him to go get into the passenger seat of the car. Tie up his hands, blind fold him.

Put on a long coat, get in the car and drive someplace nice.

While in the car don't tell him where you are going, but do talk very dirty. Heck moan a little as if you are getting off on it in the car.

Of course he can't see what your doing, and he can't do anything because he has hands are tied.

Should get him very worked up.

Finally check into the hotel while he waits in the car. Untie his hands, give him a room key and tell him to be there in 10 min.

When he gets there have the coat off, some chocolate, champagne and go for it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> Has he had a thorough going over by a physician?
> 
> A low libido can be a sign of hypertension (high blood pressure) or low testosterone. Have blood work done on him and get his levels checked. This happens to alot of guys when they hit 40.
> 
> Oh, and if you wanted a sex machine, you should have married a guy your age.



Funny you should mention that I should have married a younger guy. I forgot to mention this is my second marriage I married my high school sweetheart right out of high school. We were married for 2 years together 4. You are right about one thing he was a sex machine that was the only good thing about our marriage. My ex husband was neglectful and abusive. My current husband and I met while I was going through my divorce. We had sex every day sometimes times up until 18 months ago.


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

Shaggy said:


> Kidnap him for the weekend.
> 
> Dress in something really over the top sexy, the tell him to go get into the passenger seat of the car. Tie up his hands, blind fold him.
> 
> ...


I have to say that sounds hot but I can tell you he would be pissed if I took him away for his World of warcraft game for a whole weekend. Then he would be pissed that I spent the money on the hotel room when we could have had sex at home. Don't mean to sound *****y but just trying to let people get the picture of my husbands frame of mind.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

hnp said:


> Funny you should mention that I should have married a younger guy. I forgot to mention this is my second marriage I married my high school sweetheart right out of high school. We were married for 2 years together 4. You are right about one thing he was a sex machine that was the only good thing about our marriage. My ex husband was neglectful and abusive. My current husband and I met while I was going through my divorce. We had sex every day sometimes times up until 18 months ago.


Well, he's too young to be uninterested in sex with a hot young wife. I would say he's having medical issues. 

Get him checked out, if anything else for your peace of mind.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

hnp said:


> I have to say that sounds hot but I can tell you he would be pissed if I took him away for his World of warcraft game for a whole weekend. Then he would be pissed that I spent the money on the hotel room when we could have had sex at home. Don't mean to sound *****y but just trying to let people get the picture of my husbands frame of mind.


If he's playing WoW them there is your answer. That's a game for degenerate wasteoids. I bet his cholesteral and B.P. are through the roof, and I doubt he gets any exercise. He needs some blood pumping through his nads. Get rid of the computer and get him a gym pass.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> If he's playing WoW them there is your answer. That's a game for degenerate wasteoids. I bet his cholesteral and B.P. are through the roof, and I doubt he gets any exercise. He needs some blood pumping through his nads. Get rid of the computer and get him a gym pass.




Bandit took the words right out of my mouth. I don't know the game at all but I've heard and read of marriages breaking up over it.

How much time does he spend playing it? Not to blame a video game for all sexual problems but it sure can have a dampening effect if it becomes an obsession.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

What Bandit said. There is no reason that a 40 yr old man cannot get it up. 

What is his relationship/sexual history?

He sounds immature. Why does he play computer games so much at the age of 40? Does he watch a lot of porn? Is he able to masturbate to porn?

I don't think sex is your problem. Bringing a 3 rd will not help him regain interest in you or make him more interested in satisfying you. He has no interest now and he is getting more from you than he is getting already. 

In fact it is likely to make things worse. I think you will regret bringing a 3rd into the bedroom. You would be better of getting a divorce and experimenting while single. 

I have never had a 3 some and have no desire for one. I don't have any friends who have that I know of. 

I think you fastened on the wrong solution to your problems. Work on the basic problems in your relationship. 

The impotence, the computer habit and his lack of sexual interest. It sounds like porn and too mush time in front of the computer and not enough time spent with you. 

Please don't do this to yourself. You are the one with more velnerabilities than your husband. He is not giving your much yet you focus on giving him more. Why? That specks of low self esteem. 

Ask for more from him. If you don't get it, step back on what you are doing and tell him what your expect. If that does not work go top a MC. If you have no children don't have them with him. 

If he does not change you may get to a point where you leave him or cheat. Having children complicated that.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My GF and I had what turned into a threesome with her best friend. It was a lot of fun, and I'd be very surprised if we didn't do it again. We'll also do it at least once with another guy, as fair is fair, right? . And we're both early/mid 40's, been seeing each other for over a year. Have sex 5 to 7 times a week.

But... In your case, I'd say no. You don't have a healthy sexual relationship anyway, and I'd question the communication between the two of you. No offense intended. But bringing in someone new in an unhealthy relationship seems to be asking for trouble. Plus, my GF and I, while very committed to each other, aren't married.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Beowulf (Dec 7, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> If he's playing WoW them there is your answer. That's a game for degenerate wasteoids. I bet his cholesteral and B.P. are through the roof, and I doubt he gets any exercise. He needs some blood pumping through his nads. Get rid of the computer and get him a gym pass.


Damn right! He's 40, has a hot 25 year old wife and he's playing WoW? Where is a Godzilla face palm when you need one?


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

Beowulf said:


> Damn right! He's 40, has a hot 25 year old wife and he's playing WoW? Where is a Godzilla face palm when you need one?


When he went to dr last month for his physical I asked him to bring up the low sex drive. He went and I asked him what the dr said and he said he didn't ask because he didn't think his sex drive was a problem. He said he looked on the internet And the average 40 year old man is having sex one time a week if that. So he says we are having sex way more than the average couple. The dr did recommend vitamin d. Not sure what for though


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Bandit took the words right out of my mouth. I don't know the game at all but I've heard and read of marriages breaking up over it.
> 
> How much time does he spend playing it? Not to blame a video game for all sexual problems but it sure can have a dampening effect if it becomes an obsession.


My husband can spend 4 to 6 hours playing wow. The first thing he does when he gets home is turn on the computer. Then while it's booting and I get my pek on the lips and if I try to get more. He says ok ok and tries to back away.


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## LadyFrog (Feb 27, 2012)

hnp said:


> My husband can spend 4 to 6 hours playing wow. The first thing he does when he gets home is turn on the computer. Then while it's booting and I get my pek on the lips and if I try to get more. He says ok ok and tries to back away.


I don't play video games but it sounds like a lot.


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> What Bandit said. There is no reason that a 40 yr old man cannot get it up.
> 
> What is his relationship/sexual history?
> 
> ...


Prior to me he was married for 8 years. Surprise she left him for someone else. She was the only other person besides me who has been with. He was alone for 7 years before we met. I kind of feel like I was his midlife crisis and now I am old sine we have been together for so long. 
He will spend an hour to two hours a week looking at porn. But I spend about the same amount of time as well to get off. Though it is more like over 24 hours after we have sex that I look at porn. 
I have a child from my first marriage and we have a child together. So to be spontaneous we have to wait till they are in bed or have them over at my parents house. 
I don't know when women reach their prime but I am just horny all the time.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

MC I think. Your relationship is in trouble. He needs to know that he is on shaky ground. It is fair to do that

No threesome please.


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## contemplating divorce (Mar 12, 2012)

hnp said:


> My husband is very very lazy and contempt with our marriage. He could go for days. With out sex. Our sex life has been very vanilla for the past 18 months. I have tried to spice it up. I have dyed my hair. Given him bjs even after he has been inside me. I have even given him anal a few times.
> He still never initiates sex. He never kisses. He hasn't gone down on me on months. I figured if this didn't spice it up nothing will


me 
My husband is 40 & after 5 years of me being blamed as the reason my husband doesn't want sex often, he doesn't want to initiate, kissing almost non-existent, & no oral, I said testosterone check or divorce, the choice is yours. Testosterone level low as I suspected. Doc said his weight has a lot to do with low sex drive. Being blamed all this time has built up such resentment that it has actually stemmed over in to hatred. I love him, but I "hate" him for blaming me instead of accepting that the "problem" could also be partially him. It's like when a couple tries to get pregnant, and when it won't happen, they blame each other. My self esteem has had such a crushing blow from him trying to make it all my fault. I started thinking maybe it was me & started feeling horrible about myself. I got to the point where I didn't feel sexy anymore, but that is going to change! I want my sexiness back. I didn't deserve to have it taken away. THREESOME: Been there, done that w/ my ex husband & another married couple. Although awesome & super hot sex, if your marriage is lacking in any area, this can be devastating to it. In my situation, the other guys penis was much larger & my husband just couldn't get over the thought that I couldn't possibly still enjoy his average penis after experiencing the larger one. Threesomes are bitter sweet. Fun while it lasted, but it ended my marriage & almost ended the other couples marriage because the guy & I wanted each other. We were super sexually compatible. I left my marriage but I told the guy that he needed to stay w/ his wife & children. Divorcing my husband was the biggest mistake I have ever made. Wish I could do it all over again. We had an awesome sex life & just wanted to spice it up. Live, learn, & regret.


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## kgregory1011 (Dec 2, 2010)

Testosterone injections work wonders


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

hnp said:


> When he went to dr last month for his physical I asked him to bring up the low sex drive. He went and I asked him what the dr said and he said he didn't ask because he didn't think his sex drive was a problem. He said he looked on the internet And the average 40 year old man is having sex one time a week if that. So he says we are having sex way more than the average couple. The dr did recommend vitamin d. Not sure what for though


That seems crazy to me! I'm 38, but the wife and I go for it two times a day on most days, we get in three times a day at least couple days a week, and might have one night where it's only once or we don't at all. 

He has got to get rid of that damn WoW crap, and start getting some exercise. If he did that, in two months you would be on here asking how to keep him off you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

l'm 45, 235 bs and 6'2" and I have not had sex since January 23. I get so hard when I see my STBXW I could pry open an iceberg. Your husband should be banging your brains out.

He has a computer and gaming addiction and he needs help.


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## reddog1910 (Mar 8, 2012)

My guess is you guys need to sit down and talk about it. You don't need to get a professional involved in discussing what you two can do to spice things up a bit. I am on the other end where my wife has about a 1/10 of my sexual aplite. Sitting down and discussing what you can do always helped us. Here are a few suggestions of what you could do after you talk (would word for me); (1.) I love the hotel idea and you never know if you don't try (2.) video tape a sex session (3.) find a couple you don't know and play e-mail truth or dare. Each e-mail to that couple has a dare which involves sometime with nude pictures and a truth question which usually is asking for a story of some of your most intimate times. This game is fun and pretty harmless since you will never meet or even see that other couples face.


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

Ok so here is the update. I brought it up to my husband last night. He instantly turned it down. I said you do realize I am talking about bringing in another girl. He said he hoped that's what I was talking. U do realize I would do stuff with this girl. He said he wouldn't like to have another girl go down in his wife. He says you're going to like it too much and then you are going to leave me for a girl. I say it wouldn't happen. It would be one night and that's it 
He says and you would let me go in her and everything. Yeah. I say 
No. He says then I have to wear a rubber and I hate wearing those And it would take out all the fun
Then I don't know if he tries to justify it by saying he only wants to have sex with. We took vows to forsake all others. And he kept bringing it up how I was going to leave him for this chick I haven't even found because she will lick me better than him. I say I put it on the table it's ur choice to use or not. Just one night one time only


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

After he shoots the idea Down he asked me why I was offering this. I tell him how our sex life is declining. He says he will try and work on it. I go take a shower and he is all pissed off I posted all the the things on here about him and I left. Stuff out. 
So here is what I left out. 
My husband works full time at Walmart.
We divide the bills so that he pays the rent I pay for everything else 
We have 2 kids. One from my first marriage One together. 
He pays for our health insurance 
He states he isn't on the computer that much even though I went to bed at 12:30 and he came to bed at 5:30. Which is how it is most nights. Whether we have sex or not 
Overall we get along great until it comes down to sex


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

Ok here is another thing. I am not getting. After talking about what I want out of our sex life I asked for more oral. As I get maybe 2 to 3 times a year. Now I like a shaved fresh area. He likes a full bush. I compromise with him and in the winter I grow it out and the rest of the year I shave or get a Brazilian. So last might off came the winter coat and I gave him a bj while he played and then he went down on me. I went to bed and less than two hours later what was he looking at in YouTube and xnxx. Threesomes and lesbians. So he shoots me down on a threesome and less than 2 hours after he gives me a belly full looks at porn again. Like I said now I am totally not against porn. I was watch it 2 to 3 times a week. When I know for a fact sex that night ain't gonna happen I am not Into anything freaky mostly one on one guy girl. But it's like almost 24 hours after we had sex. I do it when my kids are asleep And my husband is it home. I never look at it when my husband is home because if I am in the mood he is there I will just get the real thing. I am always up for being woken up for sex or Round 2. So why after less than two hours would he need to watch. I also looked on Line at the local gnc and they have some herbal pills to help but my husbands sex drive. But is his sex drive really in question if he looks at porn 2 hours after receiving oral. Or does his sex drive low towards me


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## Lovebug501 (Aug 30, 2011)

The sex might be good... but the repercussions are awful.

I introduced 3-somes into our lives when we were only dating... 14 years later, he's obsessed with them, had an affair with a woman, asked her to be my best friend so that he could try to get us both at the same time, and then I had an affair with a man who was supposed to be our "bed time buddy".. and we were on the brink of divorce.

That's the abridged version. After our first spouse swapping session, I realized that I couldn't handle seeing him with another woman. I've never looked at him the same. Yes, I married him, I bore him 2 children, and I love him... but it has never been the same. We made a rule that if he wanted to continue with the swinging... it had to be another guy only. No women. He agreed.

Then comes the constant searches by him on the internet, joining adult swinging sites, and the cheating. I felt like a wh*re. 

You say that he gets one night only... a 3-some with 2 girls is like potato chips to a man... you can't have just one..

Tread lightly. The fantasy is way hotter than the actually doing and you know that those mind movies aren't real. Head on over to the CWI forum and read about the mind movies and how it haunts you.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ok, you got issues that the 3 some won't cure, but it will make much more complicated.

I suspect a big part of him not wanting to have as much sex is that his hormone level have dropped due to inactivity - such as sitting in from the of computer. That causes testosterone etc to drop. 

The game also gives his brain easy quick fixes of happy reward chemicals for every little thing he does in the game. this is a big part of why games are so addictive to folks. 

he's not addicted in the sense of hard drugs, but he is addicted to the easy rewards with no major work the game offers. 

Porn is the same way - you get off, and you don't really have to do much.

Sex on the other hand is work - it's connecting with your partner and making sure they enjoy it too. 

So he's gotten lazy - the game/porn offers quick please - but - sex requires a little more effort. 

If you can get him to do more physical activity that will help a lot with his drive.

I think you should have a rule of first refusal - no porn if the other person is willing to have sex. no porn until the other person actually turns you down.

That will take away the nice quick fix porn offers and it will build his drive for you.

but he's got to be willing of course. That's where you're patience and love come in the picture. Don't accuse him of being addicted etc, but DO tell him as his wife you want more him time for you. Not 100%, but you do have expectations and love for him and you and he need to be one anothers first priority always.


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## hnp (Mar 8, 2012)

Ok so I obviously the three some a bad idea not going to go further into doing. It was a brain storm on spicing up out sex life. Done its off the table. 
Now I have been reading the posts about testosterone pills. To increase his sex drive. I have no problem buying them since I can't actually see him getting them. But how do approach the subject of him taking them. 
Also if he has a higher sex drive from the pills wouldnt that want to make him look at porn more after we have sex.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Hmmmm,

Just my personal opinion here.

any man who plays video games is a child. come on 40 yrs old and playing video game until 5 in the morning.when he has a wife who want to have sex.

sorry I know alot of adults play video game but in my opinion games are for children start being responcible and living in real life. 

they are iosolating themselves from the world and their family not a healthy thing to do. and a huge waste of time. 



neglecting your responsibilities and family for a video game. I'll never understand it. if it were me I'd show him the door.


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## confusedinlife (Mar 9, 2012)

you are having sex three times a week and complaining??????

Count your blessings


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