# Blended family falling apart. Confused



## Confusedfire911 (Feb 4, 2014)

I am 40 years old and have been with my wife for 13 years (6 being married). It's been a roller coaster to say the least. She has two boys age 21 and 16 now and I have a 15 year old daughter. They all lived with us for the past 10 years. I am very co dependent and put others before my own happiness. The boys have been in and out of jail several times and finally I told my wife we are not bailing them out and they are no longer welcome to stay at our house. The 16 year old moved back into his dads and the 21 year old lives on his own. My daughter has never dis respected my wife or ever had any problems with her. Now my wife barely speaks to her. No Hi no goodbye nothing. Only talks to her when my daughter asks her a question and only gets a straight no eye contact response. My daughter isn't into drugs gets straight a's. Is very respectful but now feels very awkward in her own home. I have talked to my wife about this but she disagrees and says she doesn't act that way. I see it constantly and it drives me crazy. To add the that problem me and my wife's relationship has gotten boring and absolutely no communication at all. A lot of silence when were alone and I am a very goofy fun person that can't even get her to smile anymore. I feel like it is changing my personality because she is so blah. She says it's hard that her kids our not part of our family just my daughter. We'll your kids made that decision when they did drugs and got into trouble more than 5 times with the law. So now it seems she is taking it out on my daughter and me. I'm just a very outgoing person that loves to laugh and now I feel like my life with my daughter and wife is suffering. I'm very financially secure so leaving isn't a problem but I know my wife would be devestated. Being co dependent type of person I feel bad for leaving our marriage but I WANT to be HAPPy! Confused and don't know where to begin to tell her that over the last year I'm losing interest in our relationship. Help.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Have you tried counseling to work on your co-dependent tendencies? If you believe they're the root of your problems, it seems that that's the thing to start with...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## scione (Jul 11, 2011)

It's hard to say. You can't change her mind. For her, her babies are always her babies. No matter what bad things they've done. She also won't tell you what's in her mind.

I suggest counseling.


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## Pictureless (May 21, 2013)

Blended families are tough. I know I have the scars to prove it.

From what you report your wife is taking her anger out on you and your daughter. Who should she be angry at?

Do you live in a house? Is it yours? If it was your place and they came to live with you and your daughter, sounds to me like you laid out some rules and boundaries. Rules were broken and now there are consequences. 

The problem is your wife and her kids are one and the same to her. She sees your behavior towards her kids as a rejection of her.

My wife had two kids from her 2nd marriage. So it was three against one with me. Care to guess how that worked out?

Right now be thankful that you are financially secure and you have your daughter.

Get tough because you are going to need it. Your wife's kids are hardly innocent babies. How she let's them treat you, and how SHE'S treating you is all you need to know where you stand in this relationship.

How she's treating your daughter is all you need to know about her maturity and nature.

What's going to change here?


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