# Advice for Anal Play & Wife's Needs



## fr33yay0 (Aug 9, 2014)

Hey!

This is my first thread so please play nice, I just want some serious opinions on this topic. Before I start, my wife and I are in a great place. We have a good sex life (1-2) times weekly. I found this to be very satisfying. We have hit a bit of a stride since she turned 30 (me being 28). We do it more often, and it seems to be getting better. We have never used toys (alone or together), we have never used lube, etc.. we are just two pretty horny adults to have always meshed well together.

The other night, she mentioned the topic of sex toys. I am not against personally, I have never used any on her, or myself. I would be open to trying pretty much anything. She also brought up Anal sex... we have been married for 7 years and together for 12. We have always played things 50/50... for example, she doesn't love to swallow... but she does from time to time for me. I would rather have sex doggystyle, or reverse cowgirl, but she likes her on top facing me... so I mix it in. We give, we take. It's always been 50/50. She brought up the idea of playing anally. She wanted me to start with something smaller, like my finger, etc...so I did, I used a bit of hands and even my mouth. I found it better when I did it while I was eating her out. She also started to run her hand around mine... although she didn't penetrate me, it did feel pretty good but I am just not sure about the idea. I don't want to start this whole "homosexual" thread either, I am not a homosexual and I do not like men. So save it... but it did feel good and she did offer to do more. So, I guess I'm lost.

I researched this online... a lot of both ways here. 

What would you do next? are we talking about lube and some anal play for both? that's what I feel should happen.

Thoughts?


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## tonedef (Aug 7, 2014)

I don't see why not on both. It can't hurt to try something at least once. I kinda wish my husband would at least consider it because I heard the orgasm is pretty intense. And it doesn't make you homosexual at all! When it comes to experimenting in the bedroom I say the more the better lol. But of course if you both at some point are not comfortable with something, don't do it. But if the curiosity is there, why not give it a go.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fr33yay0 (Aug 9, 2014)

tonedef said:


> I don't see why not on both. It can't hurt to try something at least once. I kinda wish my husband would at least consider it because I heard the orgasm is pretty intense. And it doesn't make you homosexual at all! When it comes to experimenting in the bedroom I say the more the better lol. But of course if you both at some point are not comfortable with something, don't do it. But if the curiosity is there, why not give it a go.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's exactly what I am thinking... I don't mind trying it; research says it's one of the best O's you'll ever have. I am intrigued but that statement. 

Anyone else have any thoughts? or even personal examples? I am just looking for references...


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## Redheadguy (Jul 30, 2014)

Wife has teased me there a couple times and it felt really good, she has tried to find the P once so far and didn't quite get there but the sensations were very nice. I'm looking forward to her trying again soon.

She very much likes it when I tease her and sometimes use a finger or two at her rear when I'm eating at the Y.


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## bubba29 (Feb 29, 2012)

Anal play can add a whole new dimension to a sexual relationship. i'd suggest some different sized plugs for both of you to get comfortable with things going in there. obviously lube is essential. water based is most universal. with the positions you both like, she may be able to work up to penis/anal sex.

for men, an aneros is fun and can be used during intercourse. an njy pure wand is FANTASTIC for prostate play and g spot play. my wife and i sometimes fight over it.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

My wife can put the tip of her finger(s) in my anus during a blow job or hand job and I love it. However, if she goes too deep, more inside towards the prostate, I hate it. I do not like like the feeling at all. I don't care about gay talk or anything of the sort. Irrelevant to me and my lifestyle. However, I physically do not like the feeling of a finger being inserted beyond maybe an inch. Her tongue and finger(s) are welcome to do whatever she wants to my body, as long as I physically enjoy the sensation. Which I do, 100%. If I enjoyed deeper penetration, I'd ask for it. Nothing is gay between a man and a woman, and if it was, I like being gay then.

As far as her wanting to explore toys and anal. Good. At least she is saying this to you rather than saying it to some person on the side she can be really nasty with, but has to remain a totally "classy" lady with you. Embrace it. Although I doubt this is the case, the last person on this forum that made a post regarding his wife's new found anal interest, was sexting with another guy who was really into anal, and she was using her husband to explore the other guys fetishes. I doubt that is the case with you, but just food for thought.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good afternoon all
Nothing wrong with anal play for men or women who enjoy it. Its not "gay" - after all its not gay for a man to receive a BJ from a woman , but oral sex is at least as common as anal sex among gay men.

Be careful about cleanliness. 
Use good slippery lube (ky isn't enough), go to goodvibrations or a similar site that has reviews of stuff.

Read a bit to help figure out how to make it more enjoyable. 

Be sure you are on the same page about what you are looking for. Some people enjoy anal purely for pleasure. For others there is also a dominance aspect. Both are fine, but mis-communication could cause problems.


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

It's YOUR bedroom. If you both consent, and it feels good, do it. You don't have to justify a damn thing otherwise.

We enjoy some periodic anal play and everybody's happy


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## Redheadguy (Jul 30, 2014)

I'm open to trying anything once or three times. If after that it is no fun, then so be it. But what if it is amazing for both of you?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

number one rule about anal

know that sometimes sh!t happens


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## 41362 (Dec 14, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> number one rule about anal
> 
> know that sometimes sh!t happens


Yep. You gotta laugh that sh!t off...


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

careful if the weather is bad, don't want to start a sh!t storm. And stay the heck away from any fans!

Some women (certainly not all) LOVE to have a finger massaging their anus as they receive PIV sex from you. And the timing is critical. They might refuse it at the start, but as they get closer to cuming, their inhibitions vanish. You could try that...it is pretty innocent. If she is into that, then time to start ordering dildos and strapons!

Be advised, anal sex with a dildo requires a different type of lubricant, one with much more staying power.


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Almostrecovered said:


> number one rule about anal
> 
> know that sometimes sh!t happens


Ha!

And if you see sh!t, pretend you don't or it's no big deal. The last thing you ever want to do is make your spouse self conscious about anal. It's why some people hesitate to begin with. So Almostrecovered is correct. Sh!t happens.


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

I did hear this once, but no idea if it is true. The idea was to give an enema with luke warm coffee...something about opening up the anal canal. Just passing THAT info on. LOL


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

Murphy, I've heard a lot of things about enema's, and through my experience my wife is much more sore afterwards. It does clean it out, but it also gets rid of natural lubricants. It also makes the canal much more sensitive and easier to rub raw. At least, in our experience. We've had no real issues using lube, going slow, and making sure she doesn't feel "full of sh!t" prior. 

I'm sure the enema's are much cleaner and there is much less chance of sh!t happening, but that would depend on how deep you mine.

TMI


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## fr33yay0 (Aug 9, 2014)

Thanks everyone! I did expand my research a bit and look into other options. For example, tonight.. she doesn't know this yet but I bought a we-vibe 4. I heard it's great for couples to enjoy together so I figured I would try it out.

As for the anal play, I do plan on trying that again. I have purchased lube (water based) but no plugs/toys yet. I want to start with something very small, like fingers... I've read over and over that you should take your time. So I think we will do that... I plan on trying it out tonight after the we-vibe session. 

Without TMI, i'll let you know if it works out. lol

I sure hope she didn't get this idea from another guy; otherwise this marriage is in some serious problems. 

Cheers everyone and thanks again.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

fr33yay0 said:


> Hey!
> 
> This is my first thread so please play nice, I just want some serious opinions on this topic. Before I start, my wife and I are in a great place. We have a good sex life (1-2) times weekly. I found this to be very satisfying. We have hit a bit of a stride since she turned 30 (me being 28). We do it more often, and it seems to be getting better. We have never used toys (alone or together), we have never used lube, etc.. we are just two pretty horny adults to have always meshed well together.
> 
> ...


It doesn't go either way in this house...

Dr. Sadie Allison was on the radio the other morning and explained how a man with his women is not, in any way homosexual if he is with HER, a woman. Makes great sense.


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## fr33yay0 (Aug 9, 2014)

Makes total sense..... and any couples that want/have 150 to spend... get the we-vibe 4. holy gawd. lol


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## adel74 (Aug 22, 2014)

yes you right at first was hurt me for couple of days after about a month my wife was so horny so she wish to try again but but this time was with a lot of lub was really great and so fun


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## Cleigh (Dec 5, 2013)

Make sure once you work up to bigger sizes to relax! The more tensed and stressed or scared the more it's going to hurt. Finger first them ease bigger things in slowly!!! And don't pull out to fast!! I hear if you do that chances are you might poop :O


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Wait OP, so you are telling me you never had anal sex with your wife? Wow

Most guys would LOVE to have their wife ask for that. Are you kidding me? Dude, stick it in that ass, are you nuts? 

As for your anal area. My wife first touched it.....licked it when we were VERY young. I remember when she did it too, I'm pretty sure I was in heaven that day and said to myself "I'm going to marry this woman".

She loves playing with it and personally I love when she touches it or even penetrates it a bit (I don't like more than .5-1 inch though). I think it feels great, especially while I'm playing with myself or she does oral. 

We do it on regular basis! Especially during period when there is no intercourse. Lately she has been REALLY into it......I'm not stopping her, I love it/she loves it.

We have done toys etc but again, any deeper than 1 inch penetrations hurts me and I don't really enjoy it/like it. She knows that and respects it (has she ever gone deeper? I'm sure).

So yeah, I love it and it's a big part of our sex life.

I have 0 attraction or desire for man, but if you want to call me gay, go nuts (I don't care)

I would recommend that you go along with it IF You like it (and even if you don't FOR YOUR WIFE). If she wants toys, get them.

We NEVER used lube. Play with it and in time she will get wet down there. Start with fingers or lick it to get it going. 

PS. 1-2 a week is not a great consistency/great sex life (not for me anyways). But if it is for you, that's all that matters!!!

Good luck and get up in your wife's ass for god's sakes.....should've been done LONG LONG ago!


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## capncrunch (Aug 18, 2014)

DoF said:


> Wait OP, so you are telling me you never had anal sex with your wife? Wow


Are you seriously incredulous about this? I don't have any statistics to back this up, but I would imagine the number of TOTAL women, married or not, who have done anal is less than 50%, probably more like 30%.

I haven't, but mainly because neither of us is particularly interested.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

capncrunch said:


> Are you seriously incredulous about this? I don't have any statistics to back this up, but I would imagine the number of TOTAL women, married or not, who have done anal is less than 50%, probably more like 30%.
> 
> I haven't, but mainly because neither of us is particularly interested.


Sorry to hear

But I'm not really sure how you are getting those #s, or if they even matter.

You should try it sometime......my wife LOVES IT. Mind you, we don't do it often (maybe once a month or once every 2 months).


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Its a no touch area for my wife, she hates it. Sadly it drives me crazy to just play with hers, not penetrate it. I'm completely unfulfilled in that area, but I respect her feelings about it and leave it be.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

okeydokie said:


> Its a no touch area for my wife, she hates it. Sadly it drives me crazy to just play with hers, not penetrate it. I'm completely unfulfilled in that area, but I respect her feelings about it and leave it be.


That's no compromise...


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

Sounds like part of your question is, do you have to take whatever she wants given to her? And the answer is no. You may end up fully penetrating her, doesn't mean you have to take the full length of a strap-on - although there are lots of heterosexual men who like that sort of thing. 

There are different positions that can make things easier. I find doggy-style is easiest for me and I need LOTS of lube. Like 10 times the amount you might think you need. 

Other folks can chime in about what has worked for them, but for me it finally worked when I figured out there are 2 "pinch points" that you will need to get past for full penetration. If you take things slowly, you can get past both and that's when full penetration happens and there's no pain. 

By slowly I mean that you insert and stop at the first pinch point, pressing ever so lightly while she relaxes around you and then completely at her call, do the same with the second point. It may take you 20 minutes to get through both pinch points the first time. Take the time. Eventually it won't take that long. 

Good luck.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

And for a little bit of comfort to your wife......trust me when I say this, the logs that she drops on regular basis......are no match to your penis.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

okeydokie said:


> Its a no touch area for my wife, she hates it. Sadly it drives me crazy to just play with hers, not penetrate it. I'm completely unfulfilled in that area, but I respect her feelings about it and leave it be.


It's nice to see that you respect your wife enough to leave it be. 

That is a no touch area for myself, too. My husband was curious about anal, so we tried it once, and will never do so again. It was not fun, uncomfortable, and painful. That is an exit only area, not to be penetrated. The anus isn't designed to have a penis shoved in there and it can potentially cause a lot of problems. I'm just not a fan of it at all. 

If others like it, good for them, as long as both partners are consenting.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Anonymous07 said:


> It's nice to see that you respect your wife enough to leave it be.
> 
> That is a no touch area for myself, too. My husband was curious about anal, so we tried it once, and will never do so again. It was not fun, uncomfortable, and painful. That is an exit only area, not to be penetrated. The anus isn't designed to have a penis shoved in there and it can potentially cause a lot of problems. I'm just not a fan of it at all.
> 
> If others like it, good for them, as long as both partners are consenting.


We are somewhat like you. We tried anal once and neither of us liked it.

My wife says that her anus is a no touch area as well. But when she is really into it. Maybe I am doing oral or using my hands and a vibrator, touching her there can often get her over the top. 

The last time I did it she said, "I don't know what you were touching but it sure felt great." I think she knows what I was touching and doesn't want to admit that she is into me touching there at times.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

SadSamIAm said:


> We are somewhat like you. We tried anal once and neither of us liked it.
> 
> My wife says that her anus is a no touch area as well. But when she is really into it. Maybe I am doing oral or using my hands and a vibrator, touching her there can often get her over the top.
> 
> The last time I did it she said, "I don't know what you were touching but it sure felt great." I think she knows what I was touching and doesn't want to admit that she is into me touching there at times.


For most, it's simply a matter of overcoming the "mental" aspect of it and embarrassment associated with it.

Plenty of studies and evidence of Anal area being a VERY sensitive area of the body and one that gives a great pleasure. Heck the area between vagina and rectum is probably THE most sensitive area on woman's body.



When stimulated.......well, find out for yourself.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

My wife secretly LOVES anal play, but she wants nothing to do with anal intercourse because she's afraid that my member will damage something. One of her friends is constantly complaining about her husband wanting and demanding anal, and how much she hates doing it, so my wife figures that it will be a undesirable experience as well.

Just a few days ago, we were 69'ing, and while eating her out, I slid a finger back there and started rubbing it in a circular motion, gradually with increased pressure. When she came, it was one of the most intense orgasms she ever had. Sadly, I don't think we'll ever fully explore anal and bring a new dynamic to our sexual lives because of her idiot friend.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

coupdegrace said:


> My wife secretly LOVES anal play, but she wants nothing to do with anal intercourse because she's afraid that my member will damage something. One of her friends is constantly complaining about her husband wanting and demanding anal, and how much she hates doing it, so my wife figures that it will be a undesirable experience as well.
> 
> Just a few days ago, we were 69'ing, and while eating her out, I slid a finger back there and started rubbing it in a circular motion, gradually with increased pressure. When she came, it was one of the most intense orgasms she ever had. Sadly, I don't think we'll ever fully explore anal and bring a new dynamic to our sexual lives because of her idiot friend.


:lol::rofl:

Not exactly sure how a penis can be any more damaging than a piece of **** that comes out of there # of times a day.

I'm sorry, that's just BS.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

coupdegrace said:


> My wife secretly LOVES anal play, but she wants nothing to do with anal intercourse because she's afraid that my member will damage something. One of her friends is constantly complaining about her husband wanting and demanding anal, and how much she hates doing it, so my wife figures that it will be a undesirable experience as well.
> 
> Just a few days ago, we were 69'ing, and while eating her out, I slid a finger back there and started rubbing it in a circular motion, gradually with increased pressure. When she came, it was one of the most intense orgasms she ever had. Sadly, I don't think we'll ever fully explore anal and bring a new dynamic to our sexual lives because of her idiot friend.


That's too bad. But maybe you can casually mention that it doesn't have to be an every time thing...maybe that's what the friend doesn't like.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

firebelly1 said:


> That's too bad. But maybe you can casually mention that it doesn't have to be an every time thing...maybe that's what the friend doesn't like.


I think the issue is that my wife's friend lets her husband force her into having anal sex. She told my wife stories about how her husband will mount her in the middle of the night and force himself on her. Sounds like rape to me and nothing that I would think of doing, but that's probably why she doesn't like it. In addition, her friend uses anal sex as a bribing tool. When she wants something, she allows him to use the backdoor almost as payment.

It's sad and almost a tease that my wife likes my finger in there, but refuses to explore it any further because of her friend's negative experiences.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

DoF said:


> :lol::rofl:
> 
> Not exactly sure how a penis can be any more damaging than a piece of **** that comes out of there # of times a day.
> 
> I'm sorry, that's just BS.


Um, not BS at all. Do some research. 

Feces is malleable, in that it should be soft and can move through the body easily(unless constipated, but that typically causes problems such as hemorrhoids, anal fissures, etc.). A penis is hard and can't contour like poo can. Anal sex can be very damaging. 

Anal sex can be risky because of the following: 

- The anus lacks lubrication that the vagina naturally has. This can lead to tearing, allowing bacteria and viruses into the body.

- Repeated anal sex can lead to a loosening of the anal sphincter(the muscle that holds in your poop), leading to possible incontinence problems. 

- The anus in general is full of bacteria and can infect either the giving or receiving partner.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

DoF said:


> :lol::rofl:
> 
> Not exactly sure how a penis can be any more damaging than a piece of **** that comes out of there # of times a day.
> 
> I'm sorry, that's just BS.


Well, my wife is a small lady (5'0") and I'm a rather large man (6'2" 255, lbs.), plus I speak softly and carry a BIG stick.  That's why she thinks I'll damage something, and I've never really pressed the issue.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Anonymous07 said:


> Um, not BS at all. Do some research.
> 
> Feces is malleable, in that it should be soft and can move through the body easily(unless constipated, but that typically causes problems such as hemorrhoids, anal fissures, etc.). A penis is hard and can't contour like poo can. Anal sex can be very damaging.


Not all **** is soft like above and penis is NOT always as hard as you think.

Believe it or not, penis actually gets compressed when you enter anal area. So many times I pulled out thinking I was "fully hard" and it was compressed.



Anonymous07 said:


> Anal sex can be risky because of the following:
> 
> - The anus lacks lubrication that the vagina naturally has. This can lead to tearing, allowing bacteria and viruses into the body.


I've noticed anal gets as much self lubrication as vagina. We have never used or needed to use lube. EVER.



Anonymous07 said:


> - Repeated anal sex can lead to a loosening of the anal sphincter(the muscle that holds in your poop), leading to possible incontinence problems.


Loosening of anal sphincter happens when you poop regardless......



Anonymous07 said:


> - The anus in general is full of bacteria and can infect either the giving or receiving partner.


So is vagina.....and your mouth. Do you not kiss or like oral?

I don't live in fear....that would be no life to live. Screw that.

Sorry, but we will have to agree to disagree.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

coupdegrace said:


> Well, my wife is a small lady (5'0") and I'm a rather large man (6'2" 255, lbs.), plus I speak softly and carry a BIG stick.  That's why she thinks I'll damage something, and I've never really pressed the issue.


I'm about your size and my wife is 5'4"

 

There has been times when my wife BEGGED me to go all the way in (once you get going the feeling for her gets pretty intense)........and I was afraid to go too deep.

Look, rectum can REALLY be stretched.....

Do you have kids? Have you ever went to wipe their ass when they were little and you look down and ask yourself "how the **** did that HUGE piece of **** come out of this little kid?"

:rofl:

Perhaps my example is a bit inappropriate, but you get the point.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

fr33yay0 said:


> Hey!
> 
> This is my first thread so please play nice, I just want some serious opinions on this topic. Before I start, my wife and I are in a great place. We have a good sex life (1-2) times weekly. I found this to be very satisfying. We have hit a bit of a stride since she turned 30 (me being 28). We do it more often, and it seems to be getting better. We have never used toys (alone or together), we have never used lube, etc.. we are just two pretty horny adults to have always meshed well together.
> 
> ...


Why not? 

I mean, rip her a new one and let her peg you. Just continue to communicate well.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

fr33yay0 said:


> Hey!
> 
> This is my first thread so please play nice, I just want some serious opinions on this topic. Before I start, my wife and I are in a great place. We have a good sex life (1-2) times weekly. I found this to be very satisfying. We have hit a bit of a stride since she turned 30 (me being 28). We do it more often, and it seems to be getting better. We have never used toys (alone or together), we have never used lube, etc.. we are just two pretty horny adults to have always meshed well together.
> 
> ...



Sounds like she is open to it.

This is a great book....some ideas are REALLY out there and some are very conservative.
http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Women-Edition/dp/1573442216


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

over20 said:


> Sounds like she is open to it.
> 
> This is a great book....some ideas are REALLY out there and some are very conservative.
> http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Women-Edition/dp/1573442216


Is there one thread on this forum that doesn't have a book recommendation?


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

I guess we all are even more intelligent then....


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

coupdegrace said:


> Well, my wife is a small lady (5'0") and I'm a rather large man (6'2" 255, lbs.), plus I speak softly and carry a BIG stick.  That's why she thinks I'll damage something, and I've never really pressed the issue.


The thing that convinced me to try it was the intense orgasm with a finger inserted. I kinda figured if a FINGER felt that good, well...

We did start with well-lubed toys - anal beads i think at first. And fingers inserted all the way in. The beads are long and when he could insert them an the fingers all the way in without it hurting, it got me past a mental barrier that I had. A lot of it is psychological - the fear of pain.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

tonedef said:


> I don't see why not on both. It can't hurt to try something at least once. I kinda wish my husband would at least consider it because I heard the orgasm is pretty intense. And it doesn't make you homosexual at all! When it comes to experimenting in the bedroom I say the more the better lol. But of course if you both at some point are not comfortable with something, don't do it. But if the curiosity is there, why not give it a go.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





fr33yay0 said:


> That's exactly what I am thinking... I don't mind trying it; research says it's one of the best O's you'll ever have. I am intrigued but that statement.
> 
> Anyone else have any thoughts? or even personal examples? I am just looking for references...


It is and you BOTH should try it if you’re both game.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Op, I had another thought. The two of you could go on a "field trip" LOL to your local adult store and go shopping (the kind of shopping I think most husbands would love). It's nice to actually go and look at toys together, the sales clerk can answer any questions and let your wife hold and feel the toy before purchasing it...(as compared to online shopping).

Also toys that are glass are nice, they warm up to her body temperature and are usually easier to clean.

One final thought, experiment with positions. I have found that THIS IS KEY for the wife in her over all enjoyment during play time. One position IS NOT the same as others.


Have fun and enjoy your lovely wife!


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## ifweonly (Feb 27, 2014)

Reading this thread revives a desire in me but that is as far that it will go -- only a desire.  I have penetrated her "Exit" a few times but she is very adamant the act is very wrong. When we did the deed, she did not complain about pain and I did enjoy it. So I respect her feelings but I never give up hope!


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

I didn't really want to put this out there but these threads just piss me off sometimes in the sweeping assumptions made, not to mention the sense of entitlement from the men about anal!




DoF said:


> . Heck the area between vagina and rectum is probably THE most sensitive area on woman's body.
> 
> .


Not if she has had an episiotomy during child birth and certainly not if she had a perineum tear. At that point, the perineum is nearly numb for years if not forever. 

I had a 4th degree tear during my first childbirth, 28 years ago!Vagina to anus and a skitch more. Took over an hour to sew me back together again.

Tried anal once, years after giving birth. Never ever ever again! I get ZERO pleasure from that entire area and it has nothing to do with squeamishness, as trying anal was my idea. 

Scar tissue doesn't have the same nerve sensation as healthy tissue. Considering the relative SOP of cutting an episiotomy for vaginal birth, most women have had one, thus MOST women have scar tissue, THUS most women feel nothing all around that scar tissue.

So stop thinking her reluctance is some mountain you MUST climb and show some damn respect!


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I didn't really want to put this out there but these threads just piss me off sometimes in the sweeping assumptions made, not to mention the sense of entitlement from the men about anal!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



This thread is for peeps who enjoy anal play and penetration....both men and women. If you don't like it, don't read it.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

over20 said:


> This thread is for peeps who enjoy anal play and penetration....both men and women. If you don't like it, don't read it.


:rofl:

At least I CAN read. 

What does "peeps" mean? :scratchhead:


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> :rofl:
> 
> At least I CAN read.
> 
> What does "peeps" mean? :scratchhead:


Why do you keep asking me if I can read? Of course I can.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

over20 said:


> Why do you keep asking me if I can read? Of course I can.


All evidence points to something else...with all due respect.


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## Dannie1348 (Nov 17, 2011)

So glad you looking for help before going into something like this and not enjoying it . We have been married 46 yrs. and took long time for her try anal sex but now we both enjoy it very much and no we not gay our bi . I would suggest using a good lube we found that a oil base is so much better water base seems to dry out . When going in I use a finger to get lube in then go slowly with you penis take your time going in , My wife likes to masturbate while I do her .


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> Not exactly sure how a penis can be any more damaging than a piece of **** that comes out of there # of times a day.


Unless you are passing turds that have a will of their own to fall out and then try to forcefully climb back in with an increasing willpower and speed to ram it home, I'm not sure basing what anal sex is like based on poo experience. 

Also, if that's the case - what's the issue, or are you a daintier pooper than your wife, and that's why you don't like to be penetrated?



> This thread is for peeps who enjoy anal play and penetration....both men and women. If you don't like it, don't read it.


And for men who admit they can't handle the action themselves, but infer female anuses are magically constructed differently than male ones.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Anon Pink said:


> I didn't really want to put this out there but these threads just piss me off sometimes in the sweeping assumptions made, not to mention the sense of entitlement from the men about anal!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



My wife had 4 kids (natural birth), the smallest one was 9lbs (ranged from 9-10 pounds EACH).

I'm sorry you had to go thru all that.......

What you feel and how you feel does not = EVERYONE

I'm sorry that you can't enjoy it. Meanwhile, don't ruin it for all other women/men......


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Starstarfish said:


> And for men who admit they can't handle the action themselves, but infer female anuses are magically constructed differently than male ones.


It's called "everyone is different"

I don't force my wife to do ANYTHING. It's her choice if she wants me in her ass, when it happens, we both enjoy it.

If I enjoyed it and wanted it, I would tell her and I'm sure she would do it to me.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> Wait OP, so you are telling me you never had anal sex with your wife? Wow





> Good luck and get up in your wife's ass for god's sakes.....should've been done LONG LONG ago!





> What you feel and how you feel does not = EVERYONE


And what you feel everyone does not either. 

Your attitude doesn't really scream "everyone is different" the idea seems to be "we like this, everyone woman should like this" and "every man should be getting anal" because I mean - women poop and therefore it's not that big a deal. And just to brag, we don't even need lube because my wife is soooo into anal.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Starstarfish said:


> And what you feel everyone does not either.
> 
> Your attitude doesn't really scream "everyone is different" the idea seems to be "we like this, everyone woman should like this" and "every man should be getting anal" because I mean - women poop and therefore it's not that big a deal. And just to brag, we don't even need lube because my wife is soooo into anal.


I guess one can take it that way, depends how you look at it.

I certainly didn't mean it that way.


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## firebelly1 (Jul 9, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> I didn't really want to put this out there but these threads just piss me off sometimes in the sweeping assumptions made, not to mention the sense of entitlement from the men about anal!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I had this experience in childbirth. I still have lots of sensation. Just wanted to point out that we're not all the same. Anon, I think you're not a fan of the idea that men may think anal is an entitlement. I don't get that vibe from the OP. He and his wife want to try it. Cool.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I think people's personal bad experiences tend to colour this subject. Anal can be very painful if done incorrectly and is always painful for some people. 

Since many people do enjoy it, I think it is worth trying for most couples. If you enjoy it, then keep doing it. If not, then stop.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

intheory said:


> As usual, richardsharpe, you are polite and considerate.
> 
> Your attitude is just about perfect.
> 
> ...




The men and women who have posted on this thread are ALL willing and loving participants. Anal play and penetration existed LONG before porn. 

What people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms is between them as a couple and not to be judged by others.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> The men and women who have posted on this thread are ALL willing and loving participants.


Actually, no - at least one man who is posted on this thread isn't a willing participant in his direction, but implied really for women it's not that big a deal because women poop ... right?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

lots of ifs, ands and butts in this thread


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

Actually, in all fairness and to show the transparency of my viewpoint, I don't participate because my husband is the most vanilla guy on the planet, based on religious upbringing. So ... my interest or non-interest isn't really a factor. I hinted at it once, but the reaction said everything it needed to, and I dropped it. 

However, I had an ex who expressed many of the attitudes shown on this thread - that it just "isn't that big deal" for women (who are just built to be penetrated anywhere and everywhere) and that if I "really loved him" I'd be down for it all the time and indeed, if I'd really loved him, I'd be so into it - I wouldn't need lube. And that needing lube and showing hesitancy rather than embracing a "show no fear" attitude made me a bad partner. Indeed, fueled by a "friend" at work who indicated he should "get up there already" with maximum frequency. 

My issue isn't the activity - my issue is the attitude.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

intheory said:


> ["The men and women who have posted on this thread are ALL willing and loving participants. Anal play and penetration existed LONG before porn.
> 
> What people do in the privacy of their own bedrooms is between them as a couple and not to be judged by others."]
> 
> ...


If it bothers you so why do you read the thread? :scratchhead:


AND I meant that the people who are FOR it, are loving and willing and making suggestions ,giving KIND advice.. Please don't twist my words.


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## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Starstarfish said:


> Actually, no - at least one man who is posted on this thread isn't a willing participant in his direction, but implied really for women it's not that big a deal because women poop ... right?


AND that's fine for HIM, but his wife IS....and he sounds very nice and THOUGHTFUL....I am sure if his wife didn't like it they wouldn't do it.

Why does one care what another does with his wife? :scratchhead:

They are married.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

over20 said:


> AND that's fine for HIM, but his wife IS....and he sounds very nice and THOUGHTFUL....I am sure if his wife didn't like it they wouldn't do it.
> 
> Why does one care what another does with his wife? :scratchhead:
> 
> They are married.


no matter the activity, being manipulated into it is not a turn on.

if consenting people share an interest, what's the harm?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Starstarfish said:


> Actually, no - at least one man who is posted on this thread isn't a willing participant in his direction, but implied really for women it's not that big a deal because women poop ... right?


So you are saying that for every woman that takes in in the ass, man should be taking a dildo in his ass as well?

Women BY NATURE are designed to take a penis into Vagina, taking it in the ass is not far off.

Meanwhile, man are not.....and if you read my posts I AM a willing participant, but going to deep hurts and is not enjoyable.

It does not hurt my wife when I go into her ass from time to time, she not only enjoys it, she loves it.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

intheory said:


> They need to know that it's okay to just want penetrative sex in your vagina.
> 
> They aren't going to be hearing that in to many places from now on.


quite the contrary, I see the message of women's having the right to control what happens to their own bodies as more prevalent than ever before (and with good reason)

if anything, having anal as an option that isn't stigmatized does more good for young women (and men) overall for healthy sexual attitudes


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Starstarfish said:


> Actually, in all fairness and to show the transparency of my viewpoint, I don't participate because my husband is the most vanilla guy on the planet, based on religious upbringing. So ... my interest or non-interest isn't really a factor. I hinted at it once, but the reaction said everything it needed to, and I dropped it.
> 
> However, I had an ex who expressed many of the attitudes shown on this thread - that it just "isn't that big deal" for women (who are just built to be penetrated anywhere and everywhere) and that if I "really loved him" I'd be down for it all the time and indeed, if I'd really loved him, I'd be so into it - I wouldn't need lube. And that needing lube and showing hesitancy rather than embracing a "show no fear" attitude made me a bad partner. Indeed, fueled by a "friend" at work who indicated he should "get up there already" with maximum frequency.
> 
> My issue isn't the activity - my issue is the attitude.


It's YOUR choice and within YOUR control to dump the guy that wanted it (if you don't like it or his attitude).

As much as it is within your control to accept a guy that wants no part of it.

Or simply ignore people that don't have similar interest as you/attitude you speak off.

What's the problem?


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

> So you are saying that for every woman that takes in in the ass, man should be taking a dildo in his ass as well?
> 
> Women BY NATURE are designed to take a penis into Vagina, taking it in the ass is not far off.


Why not? What's the issue with that ...

Ah, there we go. Women are simply designed to deal with anal because they have vaginas. 



> What's the problem?


This is the problem. Implying that nature built women for anal sex simply because they are women. And therefore posting to others that they should "get up there already."

It's like a group think circle jerk - women are just - built for this.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well women are more used to penetration but the anus isn't designed for it really so that line of reasoning is flawed

put it another way

if a woman enjoys getting oral but doesn't like giving oral is she required to give BJ's? Of course not
There's no hypocrisy there, it's a preference only

my wife enjoys receiving anal and we do it maybe 8-10 times a year
I have no interest in being anally penetrated and there's no issue on her end (forgive the pun) about it


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

DoF said:


> It's YOUR choice and within YOUR control to dump the guy that wanted it (if you don't like it or his attitude).
> 
> As much as it is within your control to accept a guy that wants no part of it.
> 
> ...


I'd say it's reasonable to assume that ration able people are not advocating sexual assault here.

This thread is about sharing something fun IF you want to. If not? No big.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

intheory said:


> I believe both sides of an issue should be heard.
> 
> You might be for kind loving advice. Many are not: "get up in that ass already", (paraphrased from this thread) --- doesn't strike me as kind and loving.
> 
> ...


Part of women taking more control of, and becoming more outwardly expressive of their sexuality is that they also have to take responsibility for it, and that includes being able to stand up to pressure and coercion.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

michzz said:


> I'd say it's reasonable to assume that ration able people are not advocating sexual assault here.
> 
> This thread is about sharing something fun IF you want to. If not? No big.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


When people say "Why hasn't it happened already" they are kind if implying it's a given and it's kind of a big deal when it hasn't happened.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Starstarfish said:


> When people say "Why hasn't it happened already" they are kind if implying it's a given and it's kind of a big deal when it hasn't happened.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No, i wouldn't take that away from that comment at all.

I would actually ask the person who said it.

But from my limited perspective, I would say it was spoken by someone who doesn't see the interest as that terrible of a thing to have.

if it is your partner, then you have to inform them of your disinterest. And why.

If they persist, then, maybe they are not the partner for you.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)




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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
I've lost track of what people have actually posted and what people have claimed that other people have posted. In any case:

There is a valid question of whether or not anal should be considered "expected" in a relationship. By that I mean is it like vaginal sex which is "expected" as part of marriage, and where there is some sort of problem if one partner doesn't want to do this. (Don't get me wrong - people have a *right* to refuse sex, but I would consider it an issue for marriage counseling if someone never wanted vaginal sex in marriage. 

Do I consider anal to be in this category? I'd say no - receptive anal is very painful to some people and so it isn't something that they should be expected to do. Pain is common enough that (unlike pain from vaginal sex) I would not consider pain from anal to be something requiring medical intervention. 

In addition to pain, the the "yuck" factor from anal / human waste will turn off some people. That is a natural enough reaction that I don't see anything wrong with someone simply deciding that they don't want to try. Enough people do enjoy though that I suggest that people do consider trying it. 


Whether oral is in this category is a different thread....:scratchhead:


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
One more comment. The claim that anal is more "natural" for women seems to be incorrect. Some gay men enjoy anal fisting and other "extreme" activities .

Also prostate stimulation through anal has a direct mechanism to cause pleasure in men, while the effect in women is much more indirect. 

I think it is equally worth men and women trying it .

BTW - being the active partner in anal is really only a psychological thing. The sensation really isn't all that different from vaginal sex to the man. If he prefers a tighter feel, he can see if his partner is willing to do kegals. 


Its also worth separating the idea of anal being "abusive" from the idea that the dominant / submissive aspect of anal is sometimes enjoyed by both.


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## fr33yay0 (Aug 9, 2014)

Well this was a little sidelined to begin. We are taking it slow and I even caught her she wasn't ready for Anal sex "yet". That's a good start. lol and yes for everyone who is asking... we haven't had anal sex ever!  thanks for all the input.


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