# new here with court questions



## momtothree (May 1, 2012)

I have 2 different situations:

My ex husband and I divorced last year. I have since remarried. We were seperated for a long time before the divorce was final, mostly trying to sort the divorce out. I left my husband after finding out that he had opened up 18 credit cards in not only both of our names but some in my name without my permsission. He ran us in to debt that we could not even pay the mortgage. After he left the house I chose to do a loan modification to help with the $15,000 in back payments owed. I did this all on my own, and we are now caught up with the mortgage. Our divorce stated that I was to refianance immediately to remove ex's name. Ex and I both had to file for bankruptcy, and when I did I had no idea I could not refinance. I did reaffirm the mortgage. I assumed my new husband would be the main borrower and I would be to co-borrower since I had to be on the loan to refinance since I am on the title to the house. Well I can't! So now my ex is taking me back to court next week to set a timeline to refinance but since I have to wait until Feb 2014 to refi due to FHA regulations my attorney thinks the judge will order me to sell the house. This is the only house my kids have known. They walk to school, they walk to the park, we are surrounded by many friends and we are happy here. I worked so hard at keeping my house! This is the perfect white picket fence neighborhood. My husband has perfect credit so he can buy the house outright, HOWEVER there is a 10% down payment required with a loan from our credit union or if we do an FHA loan it is 3.5% down. We can't afford either. The FHA might be harder to get. We just spent $2000 on this attorney for court. Ex has other issues that are to be addressed at this court date, which are petty and stupid but I know I needed an atty. 
Does anyone have any suggestions on what we could do? I lose sleep at night, I am cranky around my family, and I am stressed. I don't want my kids to see me like this. We are a very happy family (the kids are not fans of their dad which is NOT my doing). It would crush them to know he was doing this and we might lose the house. They are 8 and 10 and I have a newborn with my current husband. 

Also...

We have ROFR in our court order. It states that any time day care or a third party person is needed to care for the children over 5 hours the parent using the opposing party shall have the right of first refusal. 
Here is a huge issue. My ex husband has the kids for 5 weeks this summer. I am a stay-at-home-mom and he did not ask me to take the kids while he is at work. Instead he is putting them in many different camps. He refuses to tell me where they will be for 4 out of the 5 weeks, but for one week he told me they will be at a local day camp. I contact them to get info and they sent me their registration forms. Those forms state he will have the kids there from 6:45 am (pre care) to 5:30 pm (includes post care). The forms do NOT list me as mother or emergency contact. His girlfriend is listed as both of those, stating she is the step-parent but she is not. It states clearly that the children are not allowed to be released at any time to myself or my husband. It states they do not have any medical conditions. They both have asthma, my son is lactose intollerant, and my daughter has vasovagal (google it) and she even sees a cardiologist for that. 
He is stating that they are camps...not day care. In my opinion almost 11 hours is way too long. They don't even want to go. My son attended this camp last year with a friend and almost drowned in the pool at the facility, even though he is on the swim team at school, there were way too many kids in the pool and someone jumped on him while jumping off the side of the pool. 
I have an attorney who said my ex's attorney will fight this to the death, but he feels I am in the right. Our FOC agrees with me, but at the same time they have dual opinions quite often and I am afraid they also agree with ex. 
Day camp is licensed, it is a tax right off and if they were not in camp they would be in day care. He is doing this to make me made, because he knows the kids are upset about being with him half the summer. They have not been away from me for greater than 2 days since the divorce. 
Ex never uses ROFR, but I always use it if I have to go out of town or to a banquet or wedding. I am not seeing this as fair. 
Any suggestions?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

If he goes does send the children to the camp, take your custody papers to the camp and challenge the registration forms. Make sure that the correct data is on the forms.

You might want to give your husband a copy of the forms filled out as you believe they should be filled out. Tell him that if he does not include you as contact, pickup person, include the kids medical conditions, etc that you will go to camp and make sure they have the correct information.

While you are in court, you might also be able to have the court put in some order that your ex's girlfriends cannot be represented as step-parents.


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## momtothree (May 1, 2012)

This is how my atty addressed the camp form in our motion:

15. Defendant has and continues to enroll the minor children in activities where he neglects to list the proper medical conditions and medications needed for the children.
16. Defendant has and continues to enroll the minor children in activities where he lists his girlfriend as “step parent” of the minor children.
17. Defendant has and continues to enroll the minor children in activities where he omits listing Plaintiff as the mother of the children.
18. Defendant has and continues to enroll the minor children in activities and fails to list Plaintiff as an emergency contact number or an alternate pick-up person for the minor children.
19. Defendant has and continues to enroll the minor children in activities where he specifically states that Plaintiff cannot pick up the minor children.
This is what he wants from that:
4. Allowing Plaintiff to care for the minor children instead of “day camp” as part of the “first right of refusal” provision of child care Ordered in the January 6th, 2102 Order;
6. Ordering Defendant to list Plaintiff as “mother” on all enrollments involving the minor children in the place of listing his girlfriend as “step mother” and to list her number as an emergency contact number.
7. Order Defendant to cease listing Plaintiff as one not allowed to pick up the minor children in enrollments involving the minor children.

My atty said ex's atty will fight it. He also addresses the ROFR i the motion. I just don't know what ex's atty will say.


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

I dont think the ex's attny has a leg to stand on. Direct and purposeful disregard for the courts orders is contempt.

I'd ask that your attorney request a financial affidavit for the past 2 to 3 years showing his credit card abuse and forgery.
This kind of all needs to happen before you can decide what to do with the house, as it all certainly applies.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Add to your atty's list that your ex will pay court costs of defending your ROFR and other issues as he is clearly in violation of a court order.

So let his atty fight it


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## momtothree (May 1, 2012)

I did not even know I could do that! My atty already submitted the court paperwork and that was NOT in there!!! Oh no! We fought his motion with our own motion, which added more issues that I wanted to fight for. I figured my ex was taking me to court for 1 thing that was legit (the house) and the other thing (he wants to change pick up/drop off time- long story) which is sooo stupid. I interviewed 4 attorneys and all of them laughed at my ex!


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