# Ex-wife Called Me an A-hole In Front of Kids



## neganagatime (Feb 10, 2012)

There is a bit of backstory here that I’ll omit, but long story short my ex always seemed unusually interested in my brother’s life while we were married and while I never stated it to her, it always bothered me. He is getting married this weekend and my kids and I will be attending the wedding and I intentionally did not mention it to my ex as it is none of her business. So I was picking up my kids from my ex's after school yesterday to take my son to soccer and once the kids and I were in the car, she came up to the window and asked what time his game was that weekend. I told her then for the first time that we had a wedding to attend and she starts freaking a little and asking when I was going to let the coach know. This low key is park district soccer and I intended to let the coach know about the absence that night at practice, but she is a control freak and gets irate about this. I of course revert to old patterns and get defensive and tell her that this is not life and death and that I’d let him know later. She replies angrily that “You’re such an a – hole” and storms off. To me, being critical of the other parent in front of the kids is off limits, not to mention the choice of words used. I was very angry by this and didn’t really know what to say to the kids so Ignored it and drove off. 

At this point, I do not know if I should say something to the kids, to her, or to just ignore it and move on. Any thoughts?


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I wouldn't hesitate to tell my kids that it is never alright for anyone to speak to anyone else like that. That way they know your standards. I would keep it generic and not mention Mom.

Then I would send some message to your ex that her behavior was unacceptable. If she wants to co-parent appropriately she must behave like an adult. When she refuses, you must walk away and end the conversation. 

It takes practice to avoid the old patterns.


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## Dude007 (Jun 22, 2015)

Blow that off, there will be much bigger battles to be fought. DUDE


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Next time that happens laugh out loud at her.

The kids know what's up. Be straight with them. "Your mom is angry with me because she needs to be in control of everything. What she did was NOT OK and I hope you know that. We both still love you and everything will be OK."

Then take them for ice cream or something with a smile on your face because you're no longer married to that woman, and FREE.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Let it go. One of you has to be the mature one of the parents. I've been called worse by my ex and when she noticed that I just blew it off, she knew she wouldn't win. It's just not worth it. If your kids say something then just let them know that there's a right way and a wrong way and that was the wrong way. Make it a lesson for them.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

I would just turn to my kids and smile and say now everyone knows why I'm not with mom anymore lol


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

Yeah, mole hill.


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## gulfwarvet (Jan 7, 2013)

My ex calls me that and I just start being one.


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## TeddieG (Sep 9, 2015)

Wolf1974 said:


> I would just turn to my kids and smile and say now everyone knows why I'm not with mom anymore lol


Lol. Good one.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

"I feel hurt when I hear that." Make sure the kids hear you say it.


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## Tulanian (Feb 23, 2013)

Hell, mine did that BEFORE the split. YEARS before.


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