# I need help eme,i have no hope left



## HEARTBROKEN81 (Jul 8, 2012)

I feel so unappreciated ,hurt,sad, and confused.two years ago i met my husband i thought we were the perfect couple every one did i have been faithful to him and there for his every beck and call after are first year everything got hard i got really sick and started having repeat panic attacks and manic attacks i have really bad mood swings and tend to bicker allot he was there for me and took really good care of me and my two boys while i was hospitalized a couple months after i started to get better we had a really bad fight and he left our home turns out he cheated and with that he broke my heart into million pieces i couldn't believe that the only person that i trusted in my life the fact being i have no one to trust i put my whole heart into loving and being a good woman to him and a good mother to my children being the forgiving person that i am i for gave hime and we moved to new york to get away from all the people and things that caused pain in are live but now he has changed he treats me really bad has no kind of concern for my feelings or that i am ill he always tells me everything is about me when i wont to talk about whats going on he leaves every weekend to drink with his friends and doesnt touch me for weeks at a time sexually ive tryed not talking to him threatening to leave ,and even being really patient hes even goten to the point were hes put his hands on me and yet i still love him and dont know what to do he puts me down and tells me that nothing i do for him means anything i dont have anybody to help me no where to go and no money i have a income i have been thinking of going to florida alone but i dont know how to walk away im still in love with him i have very low self esteem and im scared of being alone and i feel like i need him im scared of starting again i make constent excuses and i cry evey day im so depresed ive thought of killing myself i have no mother or father and i feel like everyone would be better of if i were dead i need help i dont know what else to do I KNOW HURTING MY SELF ISENT WORTH IT BUT I FEEL HELPLESS AND FRUSTRATED AND I COULDNT LEAVE MY KIDS ALONE BUT I NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE ME ADVISE HOW DO I LEAVE THE MAN I STILL LOVE .


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## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

What happened to your self esteem that you think it is ok for him to treat you in this fashion? Please go talk to a counselor tomorrow morning. You have mental health issues that need to be addressed. If you can, take your kids and go stay with your parents. You may also want to contact a battered women's hotline or crisis center. Putting up with your H's abuse is setting a horrible example for your children, and is causing you further mental and spiritual harm. The only possible reason you could still say you "love" this man is because you think you cant do better. Well you will never know until you try. Without taking care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of your kids. Please seek help.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You need counselling, so does your husband. MY best wishes to all of you in your family.


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Everyone would not be better off if you were dead. Talk to a doctor if you can. I was in a very bad place about 3 and a half years ago and getting some help made all the difference.

Sometimes just knowing that one person cares makes a big difference.

I don't know you, but you are the mother of 2 children and they care. Whoever you are, I care because you're a person just like the rest of us.

Take it easy. Talk to someone. There is hope because people do care.


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## Little Bird (Jan 16, 2012)

Next time he tries to touch you aggressively, threaten to call the police. If he does it again, *call the police*. It doesn't matter if he is your husband or not - he should never abuse you, and you should never put up with it.

During the time that you were ill initially, there was probably a build up of resentment towards you on his part. Try and talk to him calmly about this. *You have to let him know how you feel, and make it clear to him that you will leave him/divorce him if he continues to abuse you and disrespect your marriage*.

Go to counselling. Get some individual therapy to help you work through your own issues. This will help you get a better frame of mind as to whether you want to work through your marriage (and go to marriage counselling with your husband) or leave him. You absolutely must realise that you deserve better than this, and you have to get the courage to stand up for yourself, even if that means divorcing him and starting again.

I know you are terrified by the idea of leaving him and starting over. I know you're afraid of 'being alone'. But the longer you stay in an abusive, unloving marriage, the more alone you will feel regardless of if your husband is next to you or not. 

The first step is to get help for yourself - then you can make decisions for the future of yourself and your family. Please get some counselling.

I wish you well.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

Detach from him. Completely. Get IC for your self ASAP.
Take care of yourself and your children and forget about it for a while.
The 180 degree rules


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## Chris989 (Jul 3, 2012)

Acabado said:


> Detach from him. Completely. Get IC for your self ASAP.
> Take care of yourself and your children and forget about it for a while.
> The 180 degree rules


I am not an expert in any sense, but I wonder if applying the "180" to this chap might be counter productive?

The OP seems like she could be in a tricky situation and I wonder if she might be better trying to build up enough courage to believe in herself first? 

Only a thought and only because I am very worried about what sounded like a desperate situation.


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## Acabado (May 13, 2012)

The above poster is right. Sorry I missed the part of physical abuse. Get your doks in a row and get out ASAP. You husband is no good news at all. It will scalate.


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