# Newly married



## coconutlime (Nov 24, 2010)

I've been married for six months and already we are in counseling. I understand marriage is hard and the first year is the hardest, but we are at the point of separation, already! I've tried to be optimistic and encourage my husband, telling him that the counseling is a good thing and we can move forward, but he is just not having it. He says he just doesn't feel that way. The first thing out of his mouth when we got home from our session was, "What if it doesn't work?" My first thought when we left was, "This is what we need. Everything will be okay and even better." I can't make him feel the faith and hope that I do, but he's really dragging me down, making it easy for me to think about just quitting. It's not fair. Today he told me he had mixed feelings about marriage counseling. We've only been to one session! I don't know what to do at this point. If he isn't willing to see that this is beneficial and we will be able to work things out, what can I do? Staying encouraged by myself is proving to be close to impossible. I literally feel sick to my stomach. How can I be normal and supportive if he is continuing to be negative?


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## credamdóchasgra (Sep 24, 2010)

I can relate and I want to encourage you.
We've been married only 4 months and also are already in counseling.
Getting in to get help earlier rather than later is a very good thing.
At first my husband was ambivalent about going, but now he looks forward to our sessions.
Don't lose heart. 
Counseling took a few weeks to help--and we had/have some serious issues, and have been on the brink too.
But give it some time and hang in there.
The fact that he's there with you shows real commitment and love.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

credamdóchasgra said:


> I can relate and I want to encourage you.
> We've been married only 4 months and also are already in counseling.
> Getting in to get help earlier rather than later is a very good thing.
> At first my husband was ambivalent about going, but now he looks forward to our sessions.
> ...


:iagree:

And keep in mind the male ego hit he's taking of needing someone to 'fix' his marriage. 

Like credamdóchasgra said, If he's there he cares.

Any specific problems or is it just a culmination of things that led to this?


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## coconutlime (Nov 24, 2010)

chefmaster said:


> :iagree:
> 
> And keep in mind the male ego hit he's taking of needing someone to 'fix' his marriage.
> 
> ...


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## coconutlime (Nov 24, 2010)

Oh just a plethora of things. We came from two totally different backgrounds and we handle things differently. I'm just feeling discouraged because as of Monday night we had come to a conclusion on how to move forward. Then today out of nowhere he decides he has mixed feelings about counseling. To make things worse he has gone out with his friends the past three nights. I haven't seen him since before work this morning and I'm going to bed and he's still not home. I also work tomorrow so I won't see him much then either. I'm just beginning to feel very numb and it's miserable. We should be happier and could be but he's being difficult. And I know it's not just him. I have things to work on too. I just miss being happy and healthy. I'm pretty miserable and exhausted. Thanks for the posts 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kessandra (Dec 4, 2009)

Hang in there. 

My H and I were barely married and we went through a really rocky upheaval. If we hadn't just married...jeez, I am not sure what may have happened. It was terrible. 

Since then its been a year of getting along famously, communication is good, sex, etc. we're back to "normal" - as in simply happy on the day to day. 

So far so good, hang in there, it can get better.


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