# How to behave in trial divorce



## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Instead of separation we are calling it a trial divorce. Sort of a pretend divorce. I don't want this divorce but it is my/our last ditch effort...a step before the REAL deal.

I think he is generally clueless about the reality of divorce. I want him to feel the pain of what a real divorce means. His best friend has suggested this to me. 

Already, today my husband said..."we'll probably talk everyday anyway." Hmmmm. In my mind, I am keeping it to business and not running to call him. I've already stopped that now. He's the one that's going to have a hard time with the chit chat.

Any other ideas on how to "wake" him up during this time? I want him to realize that this may not be what it's cracked up to be.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

We set the ground rules for the separation regarding no dating etc.

Should I have no contact with him or should I maintain some sort of dialogue other than business?


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## unhappy at home (Mar 21, 2009)

I think you should maintain minimal contact and make him wonder what you are doing. Join a club or group, do something you enjoy and keep yourself busy. Spend time with your friends and family.
Look after yourself. By not being the one to constantly contact him, he will begin to wonder what you are doing and see that you are making a full life without him - he may just realize that he want to be a part of that life, if not, you will be doing things that make you happy.
Hope this helps.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

If you are really divorced, your ex has no business knowing YOUR business, other than it pertains to joint "ventures," ie, kids, a home you may still own together. You should absolutely not answer any questions unrelated to these few things, you should not be conversing with him at all. He is relegated to "acquaintance" status and should be treated accordingly. 

The best revenge is living well, so take UH's advice and have a very full life--make sure you rarely answer his calls (so he thinks you are busy, for example; call him back later, ask him what his call was about, handle it if it is joint business but refuse to engage otherwise). 

He cannot know the details of your life if he is not your husband; it's that simple. Watch yourself so you don't get dragged into revealing stuff. Let him feel the full weight of your distance, as he should. Best of luck.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Thanks for the advice! This is what I am getting from his best friend and my friends as well. 

He almost went straight into the divorce but this is a slight step back. He is feeling it as we speak and he hasn't left yet. He's gone this Friday.


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