# Mind their own friggin' business!!!



## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

I have posted ad nauseam about my toxic family. I want to apologize in advance, because I'm sure it must get annoying to read the same crap repeatedly. 

My narcississtic mother is using my favorite aunt to get at me, since my husband and I have cut off contact with her. The two women had not spoken in many years, until my cousin's wedding. Suddenly, my aunt has gone from being my ally and support system to agreeing with my mother. 

I received a call from my aunt yesterday. She said that my parents STILL want to plan a big second wedding for me; they won't talk to us because we eloped. My aunt laid it on thick: "They're going to take money out of the house for the wedding! They want to buy you a new dress!" I was considering going along with it, ONLY to resume contact with my father.

Imagine my surprise when I called my parents who asserted that NO SUCH WORDS WERE SAID!! My aunt FABRICATED THE WHOLE STORY TO GET ME TO SPEAK TO THEM AGAIN. Jesus Christ, get a hobby! :cussing:

I've grown weary of the manipulation and sneaky tactics from my brothers and my extended family. In an effort to force me to endure my mother's abuse, my brothers have also stopped talking to me. What the fools don't realize is that their controlling behavior only cements my decision to stay away. 

I do NOT need my mother making racist and/or offensive comments about my husband. That woman has done nothing but abuse me my whole life-I'm done! We don't get along because I am not afraid of her in the least, unlike everyone else including my father. 

I wish that my family would accept that I am an independent adult who makes her own choices. We got married last October; they need to GET OVER IT AND MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS!!!

I know that they want to cause so many problems that my husband and I split up. It only makes us draw closer to each other. 

I must admit, I do get some satisfaction that my mother is driving herself mad trying to get me to talk to her again. I have to protect myself and my marriage from her. My therapist and others close to me have said that I have made a healthy choice.

This was more like a rant, but I would also welcome comments.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

Sometimes you have to cut ties with people who are bad for you. It's sad, but a part of life.

Not only is it a healthy choice, but a wise one.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Really sad situation. As long as your family behaves this way, I see no point in contacting them. Let them know WHY you won't be contacting them....but leave the door open (when their hearts change & contact does not include manipulation). Follow your therapist's advice.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

You and your husband married each other.
Neither one of you married your parents.

You need to decide which you want to live with and live without the other.

I have cut ties with a family member due to the rude, mean and disgusting things that she has said about my wife and daughter. I will not speak to her again until she shows up at my door apologizing on her knees.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

When you marry, you make a new family with your husband. You are right to do whatever is necessary to protect your marriage from your birth family. Your favorite aunt has now proven that she will do the same things the rest of your family does, so you need to do whatever is best for your marriage. 

Your family will not accept that you are an adult that can make her own decisions. They don't want to believe that, so they just won't. All you can do is live your life the way you want to live it, not to prove anything to anyone but just to be happy. They'll either eventually come around and then you could try to rebuild a relationship, or they won't. If they don't, at least you'll have been happy with your husband instead of miserable trying to balance everyone and everything and dealing with further abuse from your mother.


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

I just don't understand why people want to do things like this. I didn't speak to my sister for 4 years, b/c of her bullying behavior of me. I still don't speak to my brother for the same reasons. My sister treats me differently now, thank goodness. But sometimes they just don't get the message. You have to keep sending them the message until they get it...if they ever do. If they don't..it's their loss. Shame on your aunt.


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