# Husband Cheated on me when I was 9 months pregnant



## miamom (2 mo ago)

Hello, 

New here. My husband met this girl on a job who lives across the country while I was 9 months pregnant. I had no idea. After 2 weeks of knowing her he tells me he is unhappy and does not know if he wants to be married to me. I was 37 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I was so sick to my stomach I went in labor 3 days later. I asked if there was another woman he swore up and down there was not. The day I came home from the hospital with our newborn I checked our phone bill to find out he talks to this woman 3 hours at a time. When I was in the hospital he left me to walk and called this lady for 3 hours. That was 3 months ago and I am still sick to my stomach. He refuses to stop talking to her. I do not know how to get pass this hurt. I joined this group to help get pass the hurt.


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

Wow, you can't get much more scumbag than your husband is. You need to speak to a divorce attorney asap.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Even if you could save the marriage, why would you? He's hopeless.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

even if your are the worst wife in the world no man worth anything is going to tell his wife that is expecting his baby that he does not want her , 
you need to put this so called man out of your life , he needs to help pay for the baby , 
the woman he is talking to for 3h is welcome to him ,


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Gross. Dump him.


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## Jimi007 (5 mo ago)

I don't know how you get over the hurt either. 
Do you have a support system ? Maybe family that you can move in with ?

Find out her number and give her a call
I would dump your husband immediately


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

miamom said:


> Hello,
> 
> New here. My husband met this girl on a job who lives across the country while I was 9 months pregnant. I had no idea. After 2 weeks of knowing her he tells me he is unhappy and does not know if he wants to be married to me. I was 37 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I was so sick to my stomach I went in labor 3 days later. I asked if there was another woman he swore up and down there was not. The day I came home from the hospital with our newborn I checked our phone bill to find out he talks to this woman 3 hours at a time. When I was in the hospital he left me to walk and called this lady for 3 hours. That was 3 months ago and I am still sick to my stomach. He refuses to stop talking to her. I do not know how to get pass this hurt. I joined this group to help get pass the hurt.


Most posters on here including me will advise you to get rid of this jerk.
As with the majority of people in your situation you will probably respond with, but I love him.
The bottom line is only you can decide how much of this you can tolerate and your way forward. 
Think about it.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Find your *dignity*, find your *pride*, and find your *self-respect*.

Without these, you'll continue to do exactly what you're doing - setting for a complete scumbag who can't even show you the respect most of us show the common housefly. Why are you settling for such a complete piece of genetic waste? And don't use your baby as an excuse for why you're willing to swallow your pride - martyrdom went out ages ago and besides, you can't find a hair shirt in any of the major retailers anymore anyway, so as noble as it sounds, don't use your kid as an excuse for your own weakness.

You're 3 months late calling a lawyer, OP.


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## miamom (2 mo ago)

Tested_by_stress said:


> Wow, you can't get much more scumbag than your husband is. You need to speak to a divorce attorney asap.


I have a divorce lawyer. He is getting served papers. Just waiting on it.


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## miamom (2 mo ago)

Jimi007 said:


> I don't know how you get over the hurt either.
> Do you have a support system ? Maybe family that you can move in with ?
> 
> Find out her number and give her a call
> I would dump your husband immediately


I have a great support system. I have a therapist now and life coach. I am trying anything to help with this hurt. I already put our house up for sale. We are closing in 1 week and I already got a condo closing in 3 weeks. I called the woman she is gross. Knew about me and my baby. Said she felt bad and would stop talking but didnt. Come to find out this is her 2nd time having an affair. I saw texts between them basically her telling him what to do and was mad he didnt go see her. She is sick just like him.


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## miamom (2 mo ago)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Find your *dignity*, find your *pride*, and find your *self-respect*.
> 
> Without these, you'll continue to do exactly what you're doing - setting for a complete scumbag who can't even show you the respect most of us show the common housefly. Why are you settling for such a complete piece of genetic waste? And don't use your baby as an excuse for why you're willing to swallow your pride - martyrdom went out ages ago and besides, you can't find a hair shirt in any of the major retailers anymore anyway, so as noble as it sounds, don't use your kid as an excuse for your own weakness.
> 
> You're 3 months late calling a lawyer, OP.


I did call a lawyer. I am serving him papers. I am selling our house. It closes in 1 week. This has been a long 3 months I did not post everything.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

miamom said:


> I have a great support system. I have a therapist now and life coach. I am trying anything to help with this hurt. I already put our house up for sale. We are closing in 1 week and I already got a condo closing in 3 weeks. I called the woman she is gross. Knew about me and my baby. Said she felt bad and would stop talking but didnt. Come to find out this is her 2nd time having an affair. I saw texts between them basically her telling him what to do and was mad he didnt go see her. She is sick just like him.


he found one from the bottom of the pond and she will do to him what he did to you


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

I am so happy your rebuilding your life , and wish you well , we are not all like both of them


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## Tested_by_stress (Apr 1, 2021)

miamom said:


> I did call a lawyer. I am serving him papers. I am selling our house. It closes in 1 week. This has been a long 3 months I did not post everything.


Good for you. Good luck in the future.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

We often see this odd correlation.

When a woman's belly gets larger, this inspires some husbands to shirk their duty, while their love shrinks fast.

Those other thin women, now look inviting, all while the jerk husband's phallus grows fat.


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Sounds like your WH and his AP deserve each other. A good man wouldn’t do such a terrible thing. A good woman wouldn’t cheat with him.

Cheating on a pregnant wife (or the months after while she’s healing) is pretty much the worst. He’s intent on creating a broken family. You cannot fix the situation by staying.

I’d look back and see what red flags were there so you don’t make the same mistakes in the future. Whatever positive traits he might have, they cannot make up for his bad character.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

miamom said:


> Hello,
> 
> New here. My husband met this girl on a job who lives across the country while I was 9 months pregnant. I had no idea. After 2 weeks of knowing her he tells me he is unhappy and does not know if he wants to be married to me. I was 37 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I was so sick to my stomach I went in labor 3 days later. I asked if there was another woman he swore up and down there was not. The day I came home from the hospital with our newborn I checked our phone bill to find out he talks to this woman 3 hours at a time. When I was in the hospital he left me to walk and called this lady for 3 hours. That was 3 months ago and I am still sick to my stomach. He refuses to stop talking to her. I do not know how to get pass this hurt. I joined this group to help get pass the hurt.


You don't try to get past that hurt. You divorce his sorry ass. Get yourself a family attorney. Take their advice based on your situation. If you don't have any of your own money, borrow from relatives if necessary and eventually you can return at least most of that money by sale of the assets.


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

miamom said:


> Hello,
> 
> New here. My husband met this girl on a job who lives across the country while I was 9 months pregnant. I had no idea. After 2 weeks of knowing her he tells me he is unhappy and does not know if he wants to be married to me. I was 37 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I was so sick to my stomach I went in labor 3 days later. I asked if there was another woman he swore up and down there was not. The day I came home from the hospital with our newborn I checked our phone bill to find out he talks to this woman 3 hours at a time. When I was in the hospital he left me to walk and called this lady for 3 hours. That was 3 months ago and I am still sick to my stomach. He refuses to stop talking to her. I do not know how to get pass this hurt. I joined this group to help get pass the hurt.


My husband met someone at a hotel while I was almost 8 months pregnant. At least, his location was at a hotel from what I could gather. He would never admit to it. While in labor he was in another room, watching porn and whatever else. After my C-section he left to go home and watch more porn and drink. 

Lowest point for me in our marriage. The hurt from all that never went away. Even now, he’s dead and gone and that memory still stings.

You have to make a decision. Are you willing to forgive IF HE is committed? How do you know he’s committed? It can’t be you doing all the work. Many in here are going to say leave, file for divorce now, ect. All of those are options too but only you can figure out which is best.

If he’s willing to truly look in the mirror to figure what’s driving his behavior, y’all may be salvageable.


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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

Perhaps he's sc$ared, maybe looks temporarily changed a little, he could have a self-destructive streak. You need to have a calm talk with him. Assuming he wanted a child, many men like their sons, go to games, and love their daughters and what they bring, then he needs to calm down. Right now, he's on a course of paying say $20,000 a year for every other weekend and a fractured family. He needs to understand and confront the consequences of what he's doing. You can tell me if he's upset at you for some reason the two of you can go to counseling but grown parents address their issues without infidelity.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

A belated welcome to TAM, @miamom. There are sub forums on several topics, including going through divorce.
There's also a social spot for general chatting and some fun. Explore what's available and know this - We are here for you.


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## Arkansas (Jan 30, 2020)

talking here won't get you past the hurt - you gotta get on that path yourself

what talking here WILL get you is 100% honest feedback

do you like the kind of person he is now ? he aint gonna change ... so if you don't like the person he is, take 1/2 of what he's worth, leave and save yourself many many months/years of future problems with him IMO


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