# Have any of you who are married left the marriage to be with another?



## psxpsx (Jul 22, 2009)

I have been friends with this girl for 5 years now we talk about...everything. The problem lies in the fact i have been in love with her for as long as i can remember. I assure you it's not lust or some fling but i really truly love her. The problem? she is married, to make matters worse i am the first person she talks to about any problems with her marriage and lately it seems like a lot. Most recently she told me how upset she was because while she is not a woman of physical possessions her husband did not even get her a card for there anniversary...not only that but went to bed early as if the night did not matter. It's hard to tell at times whether or not they are happy or not, they do not have any kids together. The problem is i am at my wits end to the point each day is depressing knowing i am not with her. And she knows something is up because she knows me well enough to know when i am depressed...so i made up a story about some problems i was having with some friends of mine (well not made up but made it out to be more then it was). Even WORSE we now work together and see each other 35-40 hours a week and talk all the time at work too...I don't want to interfere in someones marriage but god help me i love this woman enough to die for her. What do i do?


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Honor her marriage. If you love her you will not do anything to cause her hurt and pain. She needs to work through her marriage without being involved with you. Chances are if she leaves her marriage because of you, you and she would not work out in the long term.

Take the high road even if it means you change jobs so you don't work with her.


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## psxpsx (Jul 22, 2009)

The biggest thing is I'm the one who helps her through these problems...re assuring her Oh im sure hes just waiting for the day you met instead of the wedding Annv since he knows that is more special to you..But my heart keeps thinking you could treat her better and care about her more...It's not a friendship i can just end ..but one that is just as painful to keep and stay silent.


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## XiaSulin (Jul 5, 2009)

Mmm... Is it mutual? You could always just tell her how you feel and let her break however she feels to you that way, and then you can at least get that bit out of the way. 

I mean I guess my thinking is if you tell her, she might say she's not interested and you could try and work on how to move on.

Then if she says she likes you too then...don't really know. 

Or you could just work on moving now without even asking her.


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## psxpsx (Jul 22, 2009)

All be it small i do believe there is a chance she might feel the same...but feeling the same while she still loves her husband too. We do flirt....a lot to the point her brother asked me if we were having an affair. But i am afraid even if she does feel the same that...****ish as her husband can be she still does love him. It is the only man she has ever been with From 18-Current.


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

Psxpsx,

Have you ever thought that the way her husband treats her has something to do with your friendship with her? Also, remember you are only hearing one side of the situation. I'm not making any assumptions here, but I believe that is what Sandy is getting at.

You need to honor her marriage. "Being there for her" and the one she talks to about her marriage problems is not honoring that.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Stop intruding on her marriage!

If she needs a sob sister, then she should talk to a girlfriend.

As a husband of a wife who cheated with the likes of you, I have to tell you, she is BSing you and using you for ego strokes and to punish her husband for real of imagined slights.

Stop it. Find an available woman to be with. You are harming their marriage. You are harming yourself too.

Have some self respect. How would you like it if you were married and your wife was talking sh!t about you to some guy who kissed her tail?

Again, stop helping her to wreck her marriage.


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## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

You being there for her, is just as foul as her coming to you. 

Stop it. 

Tell her to call a girlfriend. Be that man (women too) I'll just say be that person whom doesn't wreck someone else's marriage. If you feel she loves her husband and you truely want her happy then force her to go to him w/her issues. Next time she says yadda yadda is going on tell her you NEED to talk to him about it. I can't fix it for you as I'm not him. 

Be the bigger man here.


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## kozzy (Jul 2, 2009)

Stop being a girl and get a life. Your own.


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