# Q from Man: Why do women cry so much?



## marriedguy2

It's no secret, women cry a lot more than men do. And while the old anecdote of men repressing their wishes to cry is probably true, even then I get the urge to a lot less often than any woman I've met.

Now, I agree with the scientific explanation that it releases stress relieving hormones, etc, but is there more than that?

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Background: My wife cries quite often when we have disagreements, to the point where's it's hard to have any disagreements without it turning into a moment where there's just a breakdown in communication when she starts crying.

Initially, I was very sympathetic. Seeing a woman cry evokes a sort of natural feeling of guilt and empathy. However, increasingly I have felt angry because I feel like I'm being emotionally blackmailed.

I know my wife doesn't do it on purpose, to manipulate or get her way. But, I'm suspicious of whether crying is only to relieve women's stress.
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Anyway, what I'm trying to get at... Is there a biological, underlying reason for crying in addition to stress relief. A sort of genetic manipulation of gaining sympathy from a partner or surrounding people to gain an advantage.

My wife says it's a sexist theory, but I don't know many men who pass a crying woman on the street, or at a gathering and have a reaction of "something's wrong" or "somebody did something bad to that woman". In my mind, the crying woman is always right (especially if a man is close by). It never occurs to me, that she's crying because she's upset.

I wanted to throw this out to a community of women to see what you think. Am I just being sexist? Is there something to this?


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## lisa3girls

I often cry from frustration, and I know other women I know do as well... men probably are more likely to get angry


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

I’m a woman and I don’t know why either. It’s drives me nuts. The only person who could ever really make me cry was my ex-husband. I hate crying in front of others. I asked one of my closest male friends if a female started crying, would he let her out of a traffic ticket? His answer was, “Absolutely not. It doesn‘t phase me at all when I’m handing a teary eyed woman her ticket for the traffic violation she committed.” LOL!!!


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## MGirl

I cry when I'm highly overwhelmed or frustrated, like Lisa said. Not terribly often, but on occasion.

Don't try to have a conversation when she starts crying. Call a time-out, let her calm down, and start talking again when she's able to hold a conversation sanely.

ETA: Toto, I'm not referring to crying over getting a ticket or things of the like, that just seems strange to me. I'll cry when I'm extremely overwhelmed about something I genuinely care about.


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## magnoliagal

I wish I could cry more. I rarely cry.

FWIW I think you are being emotionally blackmailed. Maybe not on purpose but history has taught her that this tactic works to her advantage.


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## Enchantment

Well, I'm not much prone to crying, but know many who are. Ironically both of my boys can sit and watch a sappy TV movie and will be bawling their eyes out - one's a teen!

Here's some stats for you: HowStuffWorks "Women and Emotions"


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

MGirl said:


> I'll cry when I'm extremely overwhelmed about something I genuinely care about.


:iagree: That is the reason why my ex-husband was one of the few individuals who has ever seen me cry or could make me cry.

I sought a counselor at the beginning of my divorce. Her biggest concern was how I did not permit myself to cry. She stated that my body language and facial expressions did not match the emotions she knew I was feeling at that time.


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## Mephisto

marriedguy2 said:


> Initially, I was very sympathetic. Seeing a woman cry evokes a sort of natural feeling of guilt and empathy. However, increasingly I have felt angry because I feel like I'm being emotionally blackmailed.


I have found this in my relationship as well. My wife will turn on the waterworks in an argument because I won't back down from my particular viewpoint. 

She will make up the conversation we should have had, and be angry that I didn't follow her script and when I defend my lack of "appropriate" response with logic, they will start much more quickly.

Of course, if you don't offer consolation for the tears you are again wrong, so it is a nasty tool in the woman's arsenal, because you are damned either way.


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## River1977

marriedguy2 said:


> Anyway, what I'm trying to get at... Is there a biological, underlying reason for crying in addition to stress relief. A sort of genetic manipulation of gaining sympathy from a partner or surrounding people to gain an advantage.
> 
> My wife says it's a sexist theory, but I don't know many men who pass a crying woman on the street, or at a gathering and have a reaction of "something's wrong" or "somebody did something bad to that woman". In my mind, the crying woman is always right (especially if a man is close by). It never occurs to me, that she's crying because she's upset.


The above-quoted remarks are very sexist and insensitive - more than likely the reason the wife cries so much. Unbelievable for someone to be so far disconnected to think crying in the middle of an argument is to relieve stress and/or to manipulate. 

Next argument, try thinking about her feelings before you hurt them again.


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## LuvMyH

I cry when I'm extremely frustrated or sad. It's not intended to be a nasty tool in my arsenal-lol! Sometimes, crying feels like an emotional cleansing to me. I just feel better when I let it all out.

My husband cries during sad movies. There have been times when we are watching a movie and he'll reach for my hand. I look up at him and he's teary eyed. I think it's sweet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mephisto

I never said that it wasn't a natural response in some situations, just that it can be used to emotionally manipulate the man in an argument, some women use it as a weapon, some don't.


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## Runs like Dog

Women cry a lot. I get speeding tickets.


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## Therealbrighteyes

I was never a crier. I didn't cry when angry, I got angry. I didn't cry to manipulate a conversation, I used my words. I didn't cry when I felt wronged, I spoke up and told them what is on my mind.
What brought me to my knees emotionally was September 11th. I was on the phone with a dear friend of mine when it happened. Talking to him and telling him everything is going to be okay knowing it won't be is the hardest thing emotionally I have ever experienced. To date, I cannot see any images of 9/11 without bursting in to tears, doesn't matter where I am. 
I am different now and perhaps in a better way. Showing emotion isn't a bad thing and I don't do it to manipulate. It is something real that I feel. It makes me human whereas before I think I reigned myself in.


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## hypatia

marriedguy2 said:


> Anyway, what I'm trying to get at... Is there a biological, underlying reason for crying in addition to stress relief. A sort of genetic manipulation of gaining sympathy from a partner or surrounding people to gain an advantage.
> 
> My wife says it's a sexist theory, but I don't know many men who pass a crying woman on the street, or at a gathering and have a reaction of "something's wrong" or "somebody did something bad to that woman". In my mind, the crying woman is always right (especially if a man is close by). It never occurs to me, that she's crying because she's upset.
> 
> I wanted to throw this out to a community of women to see what you think. Am I just being sexist? Is there something to this?


It is sexist to assume women have some kind of "GENETIC" urge to manipulate people around them, yes. 

Why not acknowledge that women are individuals? Some cry for manipulative purposes. Some cry because they're genuinely emotional. Some cry because they are frustrated with THEMSELVES. It's not always about you. 

If it's not about you, and you _make_ it about you, that says as much about you as it does her crying.

I also think you may be committing the fallacy of confirmation bias. A woman crying grabs your attention - you NOTICE her. A woman who walks down the street stoically and only bursts into tears when no one is watching, or a woman who WANTS to cry but never does - you don't see her. You are counting the hits and discarding the misses.

In fact, there are a lot of women who *actively resist* public displays of emotion because they fear they won't be taken seriously, or that they will be stereotyped as a "hyperemotional female".

For the women who do cry manipulatively, I think it is also illogical to blame a "genetic" issue with women instead of looking at social factors. Women tend to be smaller and less physically strong than men. Women are often told that they should not be direct and forceful, because that's b*****y. Many women have been physically intimidated by men - the majority of men are not physical intimidators, but it only takes _one_ guy, _one_ time to remind a woman that she is at a disadvantage if this becomes a physical fight. If crying is a tactic some women have adopted, yeah, it's not exactly admirable. But I think it's as much a "nurture" response to the world we live in as it is anything to do with inherent "nature." 

I also don't think it's any more manipulative than a man who uses his physical size to intimidate people, or who flies into violent rages to get someone to submit. Not man-bashing when I say this, quite the opposite. Manipulative behavior is not limited to gender, it just takes different forms.


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## tranquility

I absolutely HATE to cry and will twist myself into knots to avoid it. I don't consider it a release ... I see it as weak and emotional and makes me feel like a "stereotypical female." And I mean no offense to anyone when I say that ... it's just the way I've always internalized it. 

In fact, at our 3rd couples session my counselor asked me to tell my H something that I'd discussed with her previously. I started to say it and then could feel that I might cry ... I fought it hard but couldn't talk through it. So I said ... I'm not doing this right now. She then tried to tell me how crying makes you strong because it shows that you are open and confident enough in yourself to let your emotions show. I told her I thought that was "bulls**t psychobabble" and that didn't work for me.

So my point is not all women react with tears ... and don't use tears as manipulation and emotional blackmail.


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## Calendula

I'm guilty of crying.

I tend to cry due to overwhelming emotions.

Happy, sad, mad, frustrated, angry, ecstatic. It all equals tears for me. It's not the uncontrollable sobbing, it's just tears. It's not 100% of the time either. But when faced with very strong emotions, I cry.

The part that is frustrating for me is the perception that crying suddenly makes me a completely irrational human being.

Just because my eyes are leaking, does not mean I am incapable of communication on an adult level.

I never use tears to get a reaction I want, that doesn't even occur to me. I am crying because I feel something.

When I cry, it has nothing to do with manipulation. I am feeling an emotion, and THAT is my release. 

I agree with tranquility's statement wholeheartedly.
"So my point is not all women react with tears ... and don't use tears as manipulation and emotional blackmail."

Just what I have to offer from my point of view. (Reread my post and realized it sounded kind of harsh)


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## Trenton

Calendula I am with you. Any emotion slightly out of the normal level for me and I cry. 

Oddly I don't cry when arguing with my husband though, I'm more likely to cry when he gives me flowers than I am if we're arguing. I think if arguing with him I'm to set on trying to get him to understand me to cry. I do cry sometimes when we make love if it's really intense. I'd never use it as a form of manipulation. I honestly dislike it when waterworks happen if frustrated or angry and try to hold it back which leads to inevitable weird breathing and looking away or walking away temporarily to give myself the chant in my head, "get control over yourself you idiot!".


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## magnoliagal

I'm so jealous of you women that can cry. I seemed to have missed out on that. I was raised to believe tears were weak and I was never allowed to cry as a child. Haunts me to this day.

I tend to get angry instead.


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## Therealbrighteyes

magnoliagal said:


> I'm so jealous of you women that can cry. I seemed to have missed out on that. I was raised to believe tears were weak and I was never allowed to cry as a child. Haunts me to this day.
> 
> I tend to get angry instead.


I was the same way. Tears were a sign of weakness. Talk a person through their own death and you will cry at anything. It never leaves you.


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## MGirl

magnoliagal said:


> I'm so jealous of you women that can cry. I seemed to have missed out on that. I was raised to believe tears were weak and I was never allowed to cry as a child. Haunts me to this day.
> 
> I tend to get angry instead.


Interestingly, I was raised in a similar way. I wasn't "allowed to cry" either. Crying was only met with criticism and anger, as tears were only viewed as a means of manipulation, surely not an outlet for being genuinely upset. I kind of took a f*** you attitude about the it, though and just went off by myself and cried my heart out when I needed to. If the primary message associated with crying had been weakness, I likely would have bottled it up and turned it into anger, though. In my case, it was manipulation, which is what I have never ever used crying for.


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## tranquility

magnoliagal said:


> I'm so jealous of you women that can cry. I seemed to have missed out on that. I was raised to believe tears were weak and I was never allowed to cry as a child. Haunts me to this day.
> 
> I tend to get angry instead.


Really magnoliagal? I'd genuinely like to hear your thinking on that. Why would you want to be able to cry? I'm actually kinda proud of the fact that I don't (well, not NEVER ... but really really rarely - and never in front of others). In fact, my IC told me that I'm the only client she's had that's never cried in her office. Now I feel pressure to continue that - LOL.


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## Syrum

I never did a lot of crying, in front of people, but have allways cried easily at movies etc, and in previous relationships might have cried every few months. Never in front of friends etc.

In my current relationship I cry a lot, I often cry a few times a week. I think it's because of the distance, frustration, lonliness etc that comes with a long distance relationship.

When we are together i cry less, and usually it's because I think about having to leave again.

I do cry during confrontation, because i really don't enjoy it, and if i feel he's mad at me or not caring about me it makes me feel bad and I can't seem to help it. It certainly isn't to manipulate.

OP If a man feels he is on the right track, he should not back down because of tears, but he should absolutely be empathetic and loving. You can disagree with someone and let them know without being nasty, and you can hug them and be empathetic even if you know you feel very differently about something.

Being distant and not caring about your wives emotions is not good. I think my sensitivity makes me a kind caring compassionate person, so if I cry more than others it's a trade off.


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## MGirl

Syrum said:


> I do cry during confrontation, because i really don't enjoy it, and if i feel he's mad at me or not caring about me it makes me feel bad and I can't seem to help it. It certainly isn't to manipulate.
> 
> OP If a man feels he is on the right track, he should not back down because of tears, but he should absolutely be empathetic and loving. You can disagree with someone and let them know without being nasty, and you can hug them and be empathetic even if you know you feel very differently about something.
> 
> Being distant and not caring about your wives emotions is not good. I think my sensitivity makes me a kind caring compassionate person, so if I cry more than others it's a trade off.


:iagree:


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## Therealbrighteyes

MGirl said:


> Interestingly, I was raised in a similar way. I wasn't "allowed to cry" either. Crying was only met with criticism and anger, as tears were only viewed as a means of manipulation, surely not an outlet for being genuinely upset. I kind of took a f*** you attitude about the it, though and just went off by myself and cried my heart out when I needed to. If the primary message associated with crying had been weakness, I likely would have bottled it up and turned it into anger, though. In my case, it was manipulation, which is what I have never ever used crying for.


I was taught the same message by my "father". A man who at the age of 8 lost his father to cancer and didn't shed a tear. He never shed a tear in my entire life. When I wept openly about our second son born with breathing problems and on life support, my "father" told me to and I quote "stop being dramatic and deal with it. He might not make it....it's a crap shoot". He also told me that I was fat and needed to loose weight.
I could cry a mountain of tears over that interaction or I could just live on. That pile of garbage isn't worth my time and he certainly isn't worth my tears. 
What is worth my tears? My dear friend who died 9/11. I learned to cry after his death.


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## Trenton

I was taught not to cry but I refused to learn -or rather- I found a man who for once said...it's OK to cry and it's OK to feel. I assure you that I didn't cry as a child. Not through any abuse or any infraction that happened between my mother/father/sister or between myself and one of them. We were a family close to perfection on the outside and fractured by imperfection on the inside.

There comes a point where no one else is any longer responsible for how we respond and whether or not we fly or fail. I want to fly and so my words, so honest all the time, often confuse now. Being raw and saying to the world...hey this is exactly what I think and this is exactly how I feel about it RIGHT now...it takes (wo)MAN balls but, and I can't stress this enough, it is exactly where self is located.

My advice; you feel something? Then freaking feel it and in regards to relationships, find someone who accepts that what you feel is what you feel and they still embrace you regardless.

I spent my childhood not being myself or even exploring the possibility that self existed. I met a man who said...Oh! You have a self and I love it! I haven't looked back since. Read my signature and know that Dr. Seuss was on to something.


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## GutterByrd

I cry even when I am trying to keep my calm game face on. I think it is kinda a gender thing & yes maybe due to evolution I can't say. My H & I where recently in a resturant & I was explaining to him why I needed therapy & was unable to fight off the tears through the convo. Sometimes it was b/c I was feeling vunerable & others it was b/c I felt like he was judging me... the point is I tell my husband to ignore the tears & listen to my point tho he finds it hard. In the resturant he just clenched his jaw and said "really?" in a condesending way... tho I simply couldn't stop them & I was really trying. It's embarrassing to feel so exposed emotionally to anyone let alone a whole resturant & your spouse. His anger made me feel even more devalued as a person so in the end I said I would work on it & clammed up. If people could control their emotions they wouldn't be emotions. Some people I'm sure can make themselves cry but I know at least it's not something I can do so it being blackmail...? doubtful. maybe she just feels like you don't get it or maybe she just needs to cry. I cry all the time especially in convos w/ my husband & you sound just like him... & I think he just doesn't like me for who I am or at least some parts of me. I wish my husband showed he cared with some sybolence of emotion but mostly he speaks to me like a stranger that has car trouble or something. Advice til he is blue in the face but ready to walk away if he might have to get his hands dirty. I'm beginning to think I should just let him find someone else... maybe just to feel like I wasn't dragging him down with me but it might all be in my head.


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## magnoliagal

tranquility said:


> Really magnoliagal? I'd genuinely like to hear your thinking on that. Why would you want to be able to cry? I'm actually kinda proud of the fact that I don't (well, not NEVER ... but really really rarely - and never in front of others). In fact, my IC told me that I'm the only client she's had that's never cried in her office. Now I feel pressure to continue that - LOL.


One afternoon my husband came in to tell me about the VA Tech school shooting. At the time my oldest was in K so it just triggered this intense emotion in me. Tears were the first thing that came up but due to my past training I didn't cry. I sucked it up instead because I couldn't allow myself to cry in front of anyone. No big deal right?

Wrong. Since I didn't release that emotion when it surfaced I got angry instead. I started being snippy with my family even though I knew why I was behaving that way. Crying would have been the better option to release the sadness but I couldn't do it.

I'm in therapy now and I've been able to shed a few crocodile tears but that's it. The few times I have been able to cry I feel so much better afterwards. Now I'm not saying I want to start bawling at sappy commercials. I'd just like to be able to cry when I truly am sad. And most times I can't.


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## Silhouette

marriedguy2 said:


> However, increasingly I have felt angry because I feel like I'm being emotionally blackmailed.


I'm truly sorry that you feel this way, and don't really know what to say. But I can tell you this - be aware that if your wife ceases to cry in the midst of an emotional discussion, that is a sign she has shut down and your marriage is as dead as a doornail.


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## AFW8

I've noticed that since I've gotten older, I cry at movies now and even sad commercials. I never did that sort of thing when I was younger. I do cry when my husband and I are having an argument because sometimes he says some hurtful things. I don't do it to make feel like a jerk or anything like that though. There is this show called " Coming Home" its about military people coming back home from a deployment and surprising their family, and that just makes the tears start flowing really bad. I've definitely become more sensitive as I age.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 4sure

Silhouette said:


> I'm truly sorry that you feel this way, and don't really know what to say. But I can tell you this - be aware that if your wife ceases to cry in the midst of an emotional discussion, that is a sign she has shut down and your marriage is as dead as a doornail.


:iagree::iagree: I tell my h the day I don't cry when we argue is the day we are in trouble. 

I use to hold my tears back because I also saw it as weakness. Now I don't care what others think. If I cry, I cry, and if I don't, oh well.


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## Mrs.G

Anger never makes me cry.

Despair or sometimes just PMS might make me weepy.

I am surprised that I did not cry when I got married; instead I was grinning. My husband's eyes filled up as he said the vows.


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## Syrum

Silhouette said:


> I'm truly sorry that you feel this way, and don't really know what to say. But I can tell you this - be aware that if your wife ceases to cry in the midst of an emotional discussion, that is a sign she has shut down and your marriage is as dead as a doornail.


True. I am an emotional person and when I stop crying I believe I will have stopped caring, that would be a very bad sign.


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## bunnybear

I don't think all women do. Well I don't cry except maybe when I was a baby/kid.


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## turnera

I assume that it's biological, and it probably helped women survive in caveman days. Maybe it was some sort of release that allowed them to put up with a lot of crap, or maybe it actually WAS a way to get a male to stop and pay attention when they're hurting her.


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## Mephisto

I am all for caveman theories. The basic premise you have to make with them tho, is that whatever behaviour is attributed, MUST have something to do with survival or procreation. So, with those two things in mind, let's prod a little further.

Cavewomen were by nature, the gatherers and nurturers of the young, so, tears would not be beneficial in the pursuit of food, as they obscure vision. This also would have reduced the capacity to look out for the children. So I would rule out the tears playing any positive role in the gatherer/nurturer role.

Cavewoman was not particularly physically strong or adept in combat. Caveman was both, and was constantly on the lookout for other clans to raid to take more women for his clan with a deft swing of the club.... preferably a long haired one, she came with her own towrope to get her comatose body back to his cave.... I guess those tears obscured her vision and she didn't see him coming....

So, poor little cavewoman, wakes up in a strange cave with a sore head and no recollection of what has happened. Strange cavemen poking sticks at her and speaking their own version of what will later become........ ummmm, speech. Overwhelmed by the strangeness f her new found reality she breaks down and sobs, great racking sobs, tears streaming down her face..... caveman has an epiphany, goes out and takes a shower, cuts his hair, nails, and beard, picks some flowers, cooks a gourmet triceratops burger complete with side dish of locally fresh selected seasonal produce, sets the table, puts the kids to bed, turns the crickets on low and has the wolf howl softly in tune in the background, gives her a footrub and a back massage, sweeps the cave and brushes her hair..... she lives happily ever after........

Yep that must be how it developed. Seems that cavemen developed a slight resistance to this siren song over the millenia, but the tool is still employed by the modern woman with less devastating effects on the modern man and his primal hardwiring.

THANK YOU GREAT EASTER BUNNY IN THE SKY FOR SMALL MERCIES!!!!!

At last the greatest mystery of the universe has been solved by simple abject logic.


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## turnera

Yep, pretty much what I was thinking. It worked, didn't it?


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## wemogirl

Silhouette said:


> I'm truly sorry that you feel this way, and don't really know what to say. But I can tell you this - be aware that if your wife ceases to cry in the midst of an emotional discussion, that is a sign she has shut down and your marriage is as dead as a doornail.


:iagree:

I also cry when my feelings get too overwhelming. For me, no tears = no feelings (good or bad). I'm getting there slowly but surely.


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## Restless05

I beg to differ! My hubby cries more than I have my whole life 

Well, typically because are are more expressive. Oh an hormones at certain times of the month!


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## magnoliagal

Restless05 said:


> I beg to differ! My hubby cries more than I have my whole life


I once dated a man that cried more than me. It was unsettling. He had to go.


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## Runs like Dog

Glenn Beck?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tranquility

Or John Boehner??


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## ComplicatedLifeGal

I'm not a crying sort of a gal, I'm more likely to cry when overwhelmed with happy emotions then when arguing or angry/frustrated. My mom used to tell me it was "weak" to allow any other person that much control over you, or to allow them to see that they did. So, no cry for me!
But, my best freind cries a lot. Took me a while to relize she didn't do this to abuse it, but she cried when we argued, she also cried when I made her mad. She cries about boys, she by she cried because she was happy when I had my son. She just expresses her strong emotions with tears! I remember one time we went on a road trip to move her outa state to college, and we drove really long hours. When we finally got there, we were exhausted, and she cried because neither of us could figure out what bag her pajamas had ended up in! LOL! One thing with her though, she expects nothing special because she burst into tears, no special treatment, no avoidance of the issue at hand, simply her way of coping at that time. And while she is never embarrassed because she is crying, if she is upsetting people around her, she will excuse herself and come back when she is more composed to finish whatever was going on, again, not for her sake, but to keep from upsetting others. 
Perhaps your wife falls in that category?


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## Melissa W

Because we are wired that way. I know the main reason my ex and I split after nine years was because of his inability to have any compassion or empathy. I remember one time I was crying about something completely unrelated to him, and he got very mean. I have to assume that he thought I was trying to manipulate him, but that was never my intention. My ex seriously lacked in the empathy department though. One time I fell off of my bike and hurt myself, and when I was limping back to the garage, he just sat there with his arms crossed and smirked at me. Something was seriously wrong with him, and is wrong with him, so I thank God every day that I never had any children with him. 

The best and strongest relationships are built on compassion, empathy, and love. If a man is able to give his wife this, she probably won't cry nearly as often. She knows she is loved. It's a complete disregard for one's feelings that causes many marital problems. 

And I agree with the prior post about how if a woman never cries, she is as dead as a door nail and the marriage is essentially dead. Sometimes women will cry.


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## TiggyBlue

This is just what I was taught studying anthrapology.
Crying is a biological release for the body just like laughing, sneezing, burping ect. 
Every individual will have a more predominant release for emotions (some will cry at a sad event, some will giggle, it's not they find the event funny its their bodies outlet to release pressure from the body).
Society appoints certain releases for different situation, whether it's a individual's natural response or not.

Boys (and some girls) are taught that crying is a sign of weakness rather than a biological outlet (it's not manly ect).
Now that constant drip of information through someones life teached the subconscious that crying will leave them susceptible to attack, so it supresses (and sometimes immobilises) that certain biological response and that's why more often women seem to cry than men, not because it's more natural but because more often boys are taught it's more of a personality trait than just a simple biological outlet to ease a situation.

Not every woman is a natural cryer, but since it's more of a stigma for men to cry then women there is less women who have been taught to supress that response than men, so there body react's how it naturally would. 
That is just the biological theory (not taken in manipulative motivation).


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## SurpriseMyself

Hormones! I remember hearing a story about a guy who started to take hormones to become female. He described it this way (paraphrased):
Before the hormones, if something happened at work, I'd get mad and then I'd get over it. That was it. It didn't really affect me that badly or stay with me. I was an ocean liner cutting through ocean waves.
Once I started taking the hormones, that same event would stay with me. I would stew over it for days. The ocean liner was gone; I was a tiny boat getting tossed on the waves.


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## 45188

Every 4 weeks I turn into a huge crybaby. I don't like to cry in public though, I get embarrassed and feel ashamed. I'm kinda good at hiding what a big fat crybaby I am though.


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## ladybird

I cry when I am really pissed off, frustrated, hurt. I just can't stop it, the cork has popped off the bottle (so to speak). I hold way to much in and sometimes, i just can't stop it from blowing the cork!

I don't consider crying a release of any kind either, it makes me feel worse then before i started.


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## Stonewall

It is probably the key to them outliving us!


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## fianceofangler

I am super creative and have made a career out of it. Fortunately and unfortunately it affects my relationships. When a good thought for our future plans enter my mind, it becomes elaborate and I get dreamy and happy and if you are a do-er like me it can have happy outcomes in real life. But sometimes a bad thought enters my mind and my mind runs with it-making a mountain out of a mole hill. When I was a child I panicked, as an adult I cry but only if I have to talk about it.
I told my fiance that if he senses me going into sad mode (which he actually foresees when it is me and him talking about something tough) that his words no matter what they are will comfort me and guide me in the right direction. Usually I am the chatter box but he knows when is the right time to take over with words.


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## thesecretaccount

I really have no idea why we cry a lot. But when I do I just can't stop and if I try to it feels even more horrible like I'm trying to induce myself to a heart attack.


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## Shoshannah

It takes a lot to get me to cry, even though I am a woman. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me, because I only cry when things are really, really bad in my life, like once every few years or more.


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## EnjoliWoman

I don't LIKE crying and struggle to hold it in. The only times I really let go are in the shower and at night in bed usually.

I cry generally out of frustration or empathy, sometimes fear or desperation. I feel deep connections with others who are crying or sad and immediately feel what they are feeling. Anyone who cries around me, I become a co-crier. 

But when it came to my ex it was fear crying or empathy when my daughter cried when her Dad was loud, rough or otherwise unreasonable. But when it came to divorce and all of the proceedings, I was a stoic rock. That was problem solving oriented and frustration had no room - it was action time.


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