# “A letter to my husband from his cheating wife”



## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

@chumplady skewers this WW..this is a really good read - @chumplady nails it in a very direct but humorous manner...

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UBT: “A letter to my husband from his cheating wife”

April 1, 2016 by Chump Lady

Sorry seems to be the hardest word if you’re a cheater. Oh sure, they can say it, but for some reason they just can’t seem to mean it.

Why is the Universal Bullsh!t Translator so skeptical of cheater sincerity? Because your average cheater — the sort that posts their Sorry But I’m An Enlightened Creature Now confessionals online — can’t go two sentences without sniveling about their own butt-hurt selves.

This is so hard on ME! When are you going to stop being so mean to ME! AIGH! A consequence! 

If you have to deflect the conversation from the pain you inflicted on innocents to your own self-inflicted pain? Yeah, your sorry is bullsh!t. Sorry.

Today’s UBT faux apology fodder is _“A letter to my husband from his cheating wife.”_
*
Right now we are messaging about bull**** stuff like your car and phone bills and your phone screen cracking. And my heart feels like it is being torn into shreds.*

Enough about your Verizon data usage overages! ME! MY PAIN!

*Attending a friend’s wedding last month confirmed that there is no one I want to ever go through that with again. You are my guy.*

Except for that other guy I was fvcking. Weddings make me misty. For cake.

(read the rest here)


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Favorite line...

"If I cheat on you again, I'll blame the aspartame. #f*ckyoudietcoke"

:lol: :rofl:

Also noticed that the original article over at medium.com has since been deleted.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I noticed that the spelling was UK or Commonwealth proving once again that the U in UBT does truly stand for Universal. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

I have noticed that many cheaters are drawn to this overdramatic,word salad type of writing.


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## TX-SC (Aug 25, 2015)

Peel me a grape! Too funny...


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

I hate to empty post but....Brilliant......


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> .
> 
> 
> *Also noticed that the original article over at medium.com has since been deleted.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I noticed that too I'm glad Chumplady saved it...the WW was a real piece of work..its all about her pain...


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Maxo said:


> I have noticed that many cheaters are drawn to this overdramatic,word salad type of writing.


Its another way of making it all about them...a drama with them at the center..all their tales of woe..please spare me---their wounds are self-inflicted


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

ScrambledEggs said:


> I hate to empty post but....Brilliant......


I love this one also...lol

*
I am listening to acoustic versions of sad songs.*

And if you don’t come back to me now I will resort to yodeling.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Maxo said:


> I have noticed that many cheaters are drawn to this overdramatic,word salad type of writing.


Oh God....

Go read some of the dreck on SI.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I like Chumplady. I wish I could be a member of her site but I can't.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

What's funny is that the original blog post is down.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

From the same site:

https://medium.com/p-s-i-love-you/s...ho-do-not-respect-you-272a6dafc436#.7qgf2j6ld

Karma is indeed a *****.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

bandit.45 said:


> Oh God....
> 
> Go read some of the dreck on SI.


Absolutely - some of the folks there sound like they are in the middle of a play...especially in the wayward section - where they all whine, whine and whine about sh!t they caused..let a BS actually fight back and they swarm giving hugs and support..as if the WS did nothing to deserve such treatment...Chumplady would slice and dice those folks up..i can think of a few WWs there who swarm when the prospect of an RA is brought up screaming how cheating isnt right..uh huh...tell that to your man you had on the side SMH


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

marduk said:


> What's funny is that the original blog post is down.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That letter was so tone deaf..absolutely amazing..professions of love after an affair tend to ring hollow with the BS - no matter how pretty you write lol


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

Can anyone copy and paste the whole article here? My work blocks the website as spam.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Too funny. 

I liked the last line about if you p!ss off a cat it sh!ts in your slippers. 

I'm still laughing at that one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Absolutely - some of the folks there sound like they are in the middle of a play...especially in the wayward section - where they all whine, whine and whine about sh!t they caused..let a BS actually fight back and they swarm giving hugs and support..as if the WS did nothing to deserve such treatment...Chumplady would slice and dice those folks up..i can think of a few WWs there who swarm when the prospect of an RA is brought up screaming how cheating isnt right..uh huh...tell that to your man you had on the side SMH


Oh, the RA protestations. Do any of them do any deeper analysis, say on a contract basis or an equitable basis, other then merely reciting " two wrongs do not make a right", as if the fact that that saying has been around forever makes it accurate.
In fact, I can think of myriad situations where two wrongs do make things right.
And, if the contract has been unilaterally voided, how is not abiding by it even consider a "wrong".
Yet, some folks decrying the RA, just cling to this cliche, never looking any deeper.
Under Jewish philosophy re forgiveness, restitution is a pre-requisite. What could be a fairer form of restitution that allowing a betrayed spouse to experience similar levels of excitement and pleasure as the cheater did during his or her affair.
How does one even have the temerity to object to a betrayed person experiencing the same things they felt entitled to? It is sheer hypocrisy.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

LosingHim said:


> Can anyone copy and paste the whole article here? My work blocks the website as spam.


Ill send it in a PM...


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Maxo said:


> Oh, the RA protestations. Do any of them do any deeper analysis, say on a contract basis or an equitable basis, other then merely reciting " two wrongs do not make a right", as if the fact that that saying has been around forever makes it accurate.
> In fact, I can think of myriad situations where two wrongs do make things right.
> And, if the contract has been unilaterally voided, how is not abiding by it even consider a "wrong".
> Yet, some folks decrying the RA, just cling to this cliche, never looking any deeper.
> ...


many quote the "two wrongs dont make a right" others say things like "you dont deserve to be cheated on" - and that comes form both waywards and betrayeds... there is one particular WW there wo stoms in every time an Ra is discussed to say how unjust it is..she seems like one angry woman..sorry i understand being against an RA but the self-righteous manner many at SI who are waywards approach it is sickening...but there is aplace these folks never or hardly get challenged,...


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> Too funny.
> 
> I liked the last line about if you p!ss off a cat it sh!ts in your slippers.
> 
> ...


Chumplady has a way of skewering people that is delightful...>


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

Truthseeker1 said:


> many quote the "two wrongs dont make a right" others say things like "you dont deserve to be cheated on" - and that comes form both waywards and betrayeds... there is one particular WW there wo stoms in every time an Ra is discussed to say how unjust it is..she seems like one angry woman..sorry i understand being against an RA but the self-righteous manner many at SI who are waywards approach it is sickening...but there is aplace these folks never or hardly get challenged,...


This exemplifies the mindset that allowed them to be cheaters in the first place: they hold others to standards that they do no abide by themselves.
I can understand how, on an emotional level, they do not relish being the recipient of the same type of treatment they doled out ( although , in reality, it is distinguishable for a lot of reasons). However to have the chutzpah to go online seeking support for their objection to no having to see what is like , strikes me as a clear sign of just how special they think they are as compared to the BS.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Maxo said:


> This exemplifies the mindset that allowed them to be cheaters in the first place: they hold others to standards that they do no abide by themselves.
> I can understand how, on an emotional level, they do not relish being the recipient of the same type of treatment they doled out ( although , in reality, it is distinguishable for a lot of reasons). However to have the chutzpah to go online seeking support for their objection to no having to see what is like , strikes me as a clear sign of just how special they think they are as compared to the BS.


What i never understand is the BS who asks permission first..either do or dont do it but dont ask permission..


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

LosingHim said:


> Can anyone copy and paste the whole article here? My work blocks the website as spam.


It's gotta bunch of embedded stuff so that probably won't work.

But I'll summarize it for you:

"I had an affair and I'm kinda on the fence about who's at fault for that but life is hard now and I want to be married to you again."

Chumplady translated into roughly "I learned nothing can we pretend I didn't **** someone else maybe once or many times I'm not sure?"

With some hashtags for hilarious results.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Maxo said:


> This exemplifies the mindset that allowed them to be cheaters in the first place: they hold others to standards that they do no abide by themselves.
> I can understand how, on an emotional level, they do not relish being the recipient of the same type of treatment they doled out ( although , in reality, it is distinguishable for a lot of reasons). However to have the chutzpah to go online seeking support for their objection to no having to see what is like , strikes me as a clear sign of just how special they think they are as compared to the BS.


I think there's also a component that is pretty much every stupid country song ever made.

TWANG!
"Dontcha remember our wedding day?"
TWANG!
"I know I boned someone else and it was great!"
TWANG!
"But life is now hard and I'm sad and nobody's boning me!"
TWANG!
"Please be nostalgic and come back!"
TWANG!
"And put me back on our joint account!"
(Cut to tearful cowboy sitting on a Chevy tailgate looking mournful)

Nobody said I was ever good at poetry.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

The letter retort is dead on.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Yeswecan said:


> The letter retort is dead on.


She strips about the cheater bullsh!t....


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

marduk said:


> It's gotta bunch of embedded stuff so that probably won't work.
> 
> But I'll summarize it for you:
> 
> ...


This was some of her finest work wasnt it? lol


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

marduk said:


> I think there's also a component that is pretty much every stupid country song ever made.
> 
> TWANG!
> "Dontcha remember our wedding day?"
> ...



The WW in this case wanter her plan B back since being single wasnt all it was cracked up to be..


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## ScrambledEggs (Jan 14, 2014)

marduk said:


> From the same site:
> 
> https://medium.com/p-s-i-love-you/s...ho-do-not-respect-you-272a6dafc436#.7qgf2j6ld
> 
> ...


Wow...

Post about self respect with an avatar of a women, presumably the poster, bent over and ready to take it like a poodle....


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## Retribution (Apr 30, 2012)

As usual it was all great, but here's my fave from the UBT,

"I cheated and devastated you because it was our Best Chance at having a strong marriage. Next I’m going to hammer your kneecaps with a threaded pipe to improve your posture. Because I care."


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Retribution said:


> As usual it was all great, but here's my fave from the UBT,
> 
> "I cheated and devastated you because it was our Best Chance at having a strong marriage. Next I’m going to hammer your kneecaps with a threaded pipe to improve your posture. Because I care."


The WW in that letter should had someone read it before she sent it because man did she hit all the wrong notes..it was comical...


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Is it just me, or do betrayed people tend to NOT like cheaters in general?

- A long time friend of mine, found out she's wasn an OW... I meet her once for a dinner chat with a married man, whom I assumed was a normal BF relationship. She has been helping me with my pain, but I think she saw a look in my she said "well, this is awkward - you remember XYZ? Well blah blah"

- For whatever reason, because my mom is a B and I was in an informative crappy mood. I told me mom "Back when I was about 17 and you had a relationship with a married lawyer from work. Even thou it was just emotional - it was WRONG". I never thought much about it, nothing at ALL. It had no meaning to me. Okay, mom is in love with this lawyer dude, but they can't actually do anything because he's married blah blah.

I Sometimes he's call and not say anything while my mom talked. This is way back in the OLD days before Caller ID.


Even thou I've not setup my tinder account, because it will take a year or two for me to recover enough to handle any serious relationship. I will put in *NO MARRIED WOMEN* I am looking for some fun time and no relationship with some talking. Recently divorced, blah blah blah. 

F those cheaters.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

TaDor said:


> Is it just me, or do betrayed people tend to NOT like cheaters in general?
> 
> - A long time friend of mine, found out she's wasn an OW... I meet her once for a dinner chat with a married man, whom I assumed was a normal BF relationship. She has been helping me with my pain, but I think she saw a look in my she said "well, this is awkward - you remember XYZ? Well blah blah"
> 
> ...


Being betrayed changes you - permanently - cheaters dont fully comprehend what they have done in many cases..they have altered another humans life out of pure selfishness...I do wonder though how many BSs if they stay in their current relationship are more susceptible to cheating further down the line..


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

I just love how after they get caught they start talking about God and quoting scripture.

Before they switch off and say something stupid like I'm so sorry your not meeting my needs put his P in My V!!!! God wants you to be a better man Hun. I'm so ready for more cake.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Marc878 said:


> I just love how after they get caught they start talking about God and quoting scripture.
> 
> Before they switch off and say something stupid like I'm so sorry your not meeting my needs put his P in My V!!!! God wants you to be a better man Hun. I'm so ready for more cake.


That is why is R occurs at all it must be done carefully to make sure the cheater isn't using the BS as plan b...the cheater needs to WORK to get their BS and the marriage back..if they are not willing to do the work then we know their motivation is something other than love..


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

ScrambledEggs said:


> Wow...
> 
> Post about self respect with an avatar of a women, presumably the poster, bent over and ready to take it like a poodle....


My favorite is the pipe across the legs to fix your posture is coming next


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

wmn1 said:


> My favorite is the pipe across the legs to fix your posture is coming next


Ha! I love that one...

this one is great also..

*My husband. I didn’t truly appreciate the value and privilege of being able to say those words before. The past 5 months have really opened my eyes to how much I love and adore you, and how much I want to be the kind of wife that you are proud of.*

It took 5 months of living with housemates and Brad dumping me for me to realize how much I adore a Plan B you. I didn’t value the privilege of having a chump. #eyeswideopennow

Chumplady decode cheater lingo like a boss...


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## metallicaluvr (Feb 25, 2016)

Can I say one ****ing thing? I'm willing to take all your 2x4's for this, but every time I see a wayward, tbh a remorseful wayward, going "I'm fixing myself and working to become a better partner for my spouse blah blah FOO issues blah blah horrible childhood/teenage/coping mechanisms."

i think, WTF you selfish b!tch? You think you can disrespect your spouse like that and just because you've improved yourself, he/she should take you back? I'm not even kidding, if I can't keep it in my pants and cheat on my wife some day, I'll divorce her because even I wouldn't want to be married to a scumbag like myself!

And **** your damn childhood issues and coping mechanism nonsense! Is there anyone here who hasn't had a rough life? Oh what's that, you say? Nobody? Then how come all of US haven't turned into adulterers? Nothing bad that happened to me in my life can serve as a reason as to why I'd **** someone else all day then come home and kiss my wife like nothing happened. NOTHING.


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

Only thing I do not like about CL'site is the anti- male bias. Lots of misandry and double standards.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

metallicaluvr said:


> And **** your damn childhood issues and coping mechanism nonsense! Is there anyone here who hasn't had a rough life? Oh what's that, you say? Nobody? Then how come all of US haven't turned into adulterers? Nothing bad that happened to me in my life can serve as a reason as to why I'd **** someone else all day then come home and kiss my wife like nothing happened. NOTHING.


With this you are getting at one of the central questions about cheating - why did the BS endure a bad marriage, childhood issues, etc and NOT cheat but the WS couldn't help but fvck someone else to cope? I think it comes down to a question of character..some people use adversity to become better some use it as a crutch to behave like selfish sh!ts...


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## Maxo (Mar 8, 2016)

Truthseeker1 said:


> With this you are getting at one of the central questions about cheating - why did the BS endure a bad marriage, childhood issues, etc and NOT cheat but the WS couldn't help but fvck someone else to cope? I think it comes down to a question of character..some people use adversity to become better some use it as a crutch to behave like selfish sh!ts...


I think you are forgetting that cheaters are delicate forest creatures, as CL, often refers to them.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Maxo said:


> I think you are forgetting that cheaters are delicate forest creatures, as CL, often refers to them.


Yes delicate forest creatures with rabies ....lol


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## stephscarlett (Sep 2, 2015)

I think the idea is that the WS needs to become a better person for themselves and not ever expect the BS to not kick their a$$ to the curb. When you're sitting on the curb, you still need to work on being a better person, married to the BS or not. 
The WS crapped all over a bunch of people, they kind of owe it to humanity to fix their ****. And FOO has nothing to do with it. Entitlement, justification and selfishness does though. Who cares how they got that way. They cannot continue to BE that way.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Maxo said:


> Only thing I do not like about CL'site is the anti- male bias. Lots of misandry and double standards.


I've not caught that, at least not from CL herself.

I don't read a lot the comments, though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

stephscarlett said:


> I think the idea is that the WS needs to become a better person for themselves and not ever expect the BS to not kick their a$$ to the curb. When you're sitting on the curb, you still need to work on being a better person, married to the BS or not.
> The WS crapped all over a bunch of people, they kind of owe it to humanity to fix their ****. And FOO has nothing to do with it. Entitlement, justification and selfishness does though. Who cares how they got that way. They cannot continue to BE that way.


The thing is infidelity destroys not just the BS but damages the kids as well..I don't know how people take a flamethrower to their own family to be with an AP...how do they look at themselves in the mirror? That is a special kind of selfishness....to be honest if a person leaves to be with their AP they don't deserve any happiness at all not one shred...


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

GusPolinski said:


> I've not caught that, at least not from CL herself.
> 
> I don't read a lot the comments, though.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree Gus I never got that form her either..she torches both men and women for cheating..as is evidence dby her take down of the WW who wrote this letter...


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

Would love to see ChumpLady reply to posters for a day on TAM. 
Now that would be a blast. 
Moderators? Can you please organise?


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

********** said:


> Would love to see ChumpLady reply to posters for a day on TAM.
> Now that would be a blast.
> Moderators? Can you please organise?


If memory serves, CL actually does have an account here.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

********** said:


> Would love to see ChumpLady reply to posters for a day on TAM.
> Now that would be a blast.
> Moderators? Can you please organise?


I'd like to see CL try her hand at responding to the folks in the wayward forum at SI - now that would be a fireworks show - they would not know what hit them...


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

Ahem. What's SI @Truthseeker1


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

********** said:


> Ahem. What's SI @Truthseeker1


An infidelity site not nearly as good as TAM :grin2:


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## Rookie4 (Nov 26, 2012)

Actually, I can see some real positives about this letter. Of course , it wouldn't have stopped me from divorce, but if you have kids, then you are going to have to interact with the WS. So it behooves both parties to come to some kind of understanding.
This WS is actually trying to come to terms with herself....which to my mind, is a positive thing. She has to start somewhere. right? Granted she has a long way to go, but at least , she is starting the journey.
It's easy to poke fun at her and to diss her, but she IS trying. I think she is worthy of help.


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## Rookie4 (Nov 26, 2012)

"Once a cheater, always a cheater", simply isn't true. The scarlet letter need not be permanent.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Rookie4 said:


> Actually, I can see some real positives about this letter. Of course , it wouldn't have stopped me from divorce, but if you have kids, then you are going to have to interact with the WS. So it behooves both parties to come to some kind of understanding.
> This WS is actually trying to come to terms with herself....which to my mind, is a positive thing. She has to start somewhere. right? *Granted she has a long way to go*, but at least , she is starting the journey.
> It's easy to poke fun at her and to diss her, but she IS trying. I think she is worthy of help.


A VERY long way to go at least we can agree on that...


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