# Where di I find the "360" on this site?



## dhpoolman (Sep 4, 2011)

Does anyone know where I find the "360" article on this site?


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## dhpoolman (Sep 4, 2011)

Sorry the ""180" anyone know where it's at?


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Here it is, I almost memorized it LOLOL, it's all about the survivial of the fittest ;o)

180 is a list of behaviours from Michelle Wiener Davis, the author of Divorce 
Busting, that will help your spouse to see you moving forward as a healthy 
person. I would highly suggest that any new BS begin these behaviours as soon as 
possible. I am convinced that if I had implemented them, I would still be 
married. In retrospect, I did everything besides 180. I looked pathetic. No one 
wants to be perceived as pathetic. 180 makes you look strong. Strong is 
attractive. (Making it) 


So here's the list: 
Don't pursue reason, chase, beg, plead or implore. 
No frequent phone calls. 
Don't point out "good points" in marriage. 
Don't follow her/him around the house. 
Don't encourage or initiate discussion about the future. 
Don't ask for help from the family members of your WS. 
Don't ask for reassurances. 
Don't buy or give gifts. 
Don't schedule dates together. 
Don't keep saying, "I Love You!" Because if you have a brain in your head, 
he/she is at this particular moment, not very loveable. 

Do more then act as if you are moving on with your life; begin moving on with 
your life! 

Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and independent. 
Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - get busy, do things, go out with 
friends, enjoy old hobbies, find new ones! But stay busy! 

When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or 
short on words. Don't push any issue? No matter how much you want to! 

If you're in the habit of asking your spouse his/her whereabouts, ASK NOTHING. 
Seem totally uninterested. 

Your partner needs to believe that you have awakened to the fact that "they (the 
WS)" are serious concerning their assertions as to the future (or lack thee of) 
of your marriage. Thus, you are you are moving on with your life? with out them! 

Don't be nasty, angry or even cold - Just pull yourself back. Don't always be so 
available? for anything! Your spouse will notice. More important, he/she will 
notice that you're missing. 

No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and 
contentment? Make yourself be someone they would want to be around. Not a moody, 
needy, pathetic individual but a self assured individual secure in the knowledge 
that they have value. 

All questions about the marriage should be put on hold, until your spouse wants 
to talk about it (which may not be for quite a while). Initiate no such 
conversation! 

Do not allow yourself to lose your temper. No yelling, screaming or name calling 
EVER. No show of temper! Be cool, act cool; be in control of the only thing you 
can control? YOURSELF! 

Don't be overly enthusiastic. 
Do not argue when they tell you how they feel (it only makes their feelings 
stronger). In fact, refuse to argue at all! 

Be patient and learn to not only listen carefully to what your spouse is really 
saying to you? HEAR what it is that they are saying! Listen and then listen some 
more! 

Learn to back off, keep your mouth shut and walk away when you want to speak 
out, no matter what the provocation. No one ever got themselves into trouble by 
just not saying anything. 

Take care of you. Exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your 
life that are not in turmoil. 

Be strong, confident and learn to speak softly. 
Know that if you can do this 180, your smallest CONSISTENT action will be 
noticed far more than any words you can say or write. 

Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and 
are feeling totally desperate and needy. 

Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse. It's not always 
about you! More to the point, at present they just don't care! 

Do not believe any of what you hear them say and less than 50% of what you see. 
Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives and do so in the most strident 
tones imaginable. Try to remember that they are also hurting and afraid. Try to 
remember that they know what they are doing is wrong and so they will say 
anything they can to justify their behaviour. 

Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel. It "ain't over till 
it's over!" 

Do not backslide from your hard earned changes. Remain consistent! It is the 
consistency of action and attitude that delivers the message. 

When expressing your dissatisfaction with the actions of the wayward party, 
never be judgmental, critical or express moral outrage. Always explain that your 
dissatisfaction is due to the pain that the acts being committed are causing you 
as a person. This is the kind of behaviour that will cause you to be a much more 
attractive and mysterious individual. Further it SHOWS that you are NOT afraid 
to move on with your life. Still more important, it will burst their positive 
little bubble; the one in which they believe that they can always come back to 
you in case things don't work out with the OM/OW." (Poodlepapa)


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

It all depends on why your marriage is the way it is. IF you have already been doing the 180 (and didn't know it) and it drove your spouse away, then your 180 would be the opposite of this list.

I know from experience.


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## dhpoolman (Sep 4, 2011)

Thanks those are good tips


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