# Is Husband Just Being a Jerk or Am I Too Sensitive?



## EmmyC (Aug 26, 2010)

I am a pretty gullible person and my husband likes to take advantage of that by lying about stuff and then when I fall for it, he thinks it's funny. Sometimes I don't mind and just think he's being annoying, but there had been times when he says something to make me happy only to find out he was just "joking" again. 

Tonight, I thought he went overboard, again. So for a long time now I've really been wanting to get back to work by looking for a part-time job. Today I got contacted for an interview for tomorrow and I was telling my husband how excited I was but if I get hired, I would have to figure out what to do about childcare as we have 2 little kids and I'm currently a stay-at-home-mom. My husband says with a straight face "Oh, they have childcare onsite at this company." I asked very surprisingly "They do?", and he said "Yeah, it's for all the employees who also need childcare." Well in my mind, I was thinking "that's great!", but just as I was thinking that, I suddenly realized this could be another one of his "jokes", so I asked him if he was just "joking" again and he agreed. I was so upset with him and I told him how this is not funny, to make me think that something good was being offered and then to tell me that he was just kidding. Instead of appologizing or acknowledging my feelings, he just started laughing. Do you guys think I am being overly sensitive about this type of "joking" or is my husband just being a jerk when he makes these types of "jokes" at my expense?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I love a good laugh as well as the next guy, but yeah, he was kinda being a jerk this time. Can't really offer an opinion about all the other times because I don't have enough information. This occasion, you were clearly excited about a new job and he deliberately added to that excitement under false pretense. It'd be just as funny as allowing him to think he'd won the lottery or that you were pregnant if neither was true.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I actually don't find it funny at all. When he's the only one laughing, he's failed miserably at trying to be funny. Hasn't he heard that it's actually considered pathetic to be the only one laughing at your own jokes? I'd be tempted to call him a try hard and walk off after something like that.


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## Tacitus (Sep 28, 2010)

He is an insensitive boor. His actions were inappropriate and ungentlemanly.

In this case - as in so many - humor is a shield behind which a cruel coward feels he can hide.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

It’s mind games. He’s playing with your mind and your emotions. They think there’s no harm in it but there is. It also makes people feel gullible when actually they’re not.

What to do? You could fight fire with fire. Think up a little story and then tell it to him. Something like you got a call from a lawyer about an unknown long distance relative who died seven months ago leaving each member of your family $250,000 and you’re to get the details next week. Then start making plans with him about what to do with the money.

May teach him a lesson but could back fire though.

Bob


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## Tacitus (Sep 28, 2010)

I'd avoid acting in revenge, if I were you. As Bob says - it may backfire.

It will, eventually, also harm your own sense of self-respect. Descending to his level truly offers no advantages beyond a momentary gleam of evil pleasure. It is not worth the price.


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## BlueEyedBeauty (Sep 27, 2010)

No, you're not being to "sensitive" you, have let your husband know how much his picking on you, gets to you. It is one thing for a loved one- or in laws at that to be joking around with you, and playing jokes but when someone is to keep on doing it, knowing that it is upsetting you, then yes, they are being a jerk in a half. Here is what to do though it- will, be hard on your cause seeing that you, fall for things very easy but, act like his jokes do not even bother you, and when you, do this I will give it a week if that- by you, just sitting there laughing about what he says (even if it hurts do this) and going in with his jokes he does or others do- joke with them. It will end real fast because then he and those others would know "hey this does not bother her anymore-" then it will end...

I am pretty much the same as you are- I use to always fall for things very easy-but then again, when things went to far I knew they were lies and the person was only joking around. When, people do look you into the face without laughing or anything yes, it is harder to tell if they are joking around, here is how you, can watch for those signs of something being untrue and as a joke

_1. The person will have a voice that sounds so real
2. The person will make sure they can get you drawing into the story that they are telling you3. They will keep the story going on and on- to see how far they can take it
4. The last thing to watch for is- then smiling while telling the stories...._

Watch for those signs- I am telling you- this is one of the comments you'll, want to listen too... For one I do have a gift and I am to tell things and what goes on... So, if you want to listen to what is being said here- you, can and if you do not choose too then you, won't but I am telling you- things will not end then...


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## BlueEyedBeauty (Sep 27, 2010)

You, are so right on what you told her... She should show a taste of his own med- as well, and see how he likes it. (I know you did not say for her to do so, but she should) You did give her some good info though...


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## Bluemoon7 (Jan 27, 2010)

He's definitely not funny and sounds immature and annoying.

I think part of the problem might be how you have reacted in the past. Not making a big deal about it and laughing only made him think it's okay. If it were me, I would have called him out a long time ago for lying to me. I can't stand liars. Don't let him get away with his "jokes." They are lies, and not funny ones.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

It won't be long and everything he says you will think it is a lie. Then he will wonder why you don't believe him.

It would make me mad that I was making plans for our childrens care, and he would joke like that.


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## sweetpeaflower (Sep 23, 2010)

I would consider it a lie also, and I would be pissed off. How can you believe ANYTHING he's saying? If I were in your shoes, I think I'd rather talk to a ROCK, than to him and take the chance of being made fun of, put down and mocked. He's a total jerk and you need to stand up to him and not take it anymore.


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## calimom82 (Jan 25, 2009)

I agree with the posters who said that his jokes aren't funny. How could you trust anything he says? Maybe you could sit down and talk to him about his jokes. Tell him how they make you feel. Jokes can be funny, but when someone is constantly joking like he does, yeah it can get really annoying. Good luck to you.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Right now, it's jokes about seemingly "unimportant" things, what happens when you start asking questions about the money missing from the savings, the kid's tuitions, what his mother meant by that snide remark or who that woman is on his cell phone?

In answer to your question, yes, he IS being a jerk.


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## EmmyC (Aug 26, 2010)

Thanks for all your posts. I think he understood how badly it made me feel to joke about having a fictitious childcare at this company. When I talked to this company on the phone today, they wanted me to go in for an interview and my husband actually congratulated me on that. As far as revenge goes, I think he got his tonight. He came home from work with a back ache.


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## RCWHIT1960 (Sep 29, 2010)

Question i have a house that was passed down from my mom to me and to my children once they got old enough. Does husband have rights to put them out of a homestead house. We don't stay in. I think he want to control everything including me 
desperate please help me !!!!


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