# What should have i done....



## Separated79 (May 28, 2011)

I am separated with my husband for 2 months now and the day he left i wasn't there to stop him as i don't want to stop him from leaving.As i have already begged and pleaded and asked him to stay for a week from leaving me,and after a day he phoned up and i broke down and did same thing but he just hanged up and never answered me when i called him back.

But that was it after that i have never contacted him anymore
but he has been phoning up for 17 times (in 2 months)to checked up on me and our son.I only answer whatever he does ask me and that is more about his child never spoke about anymore about us,he did once tried to talk about what happened but i said dont want to talk about it.

After 2 months still have alot of urge to contact him and i have cried so many times at night and i found out that he is on a rebound relationship now,and i cried so much and but still never contacted him i suffered in silence but i feel like it actually feel much better if you have no contact at all,i feel like when your in so much pain,cry it all out and it feels better everytime.

Prayers has been my source of strength and through crying i let it all out and the believing that i am suffering because i am fighting for what is right.

I have a qoute that had described exactly,about how i feel
"You will always see what’s wrong when you are right.
But you will never know which is right when you are happy doing wrong and If you are doing the right thing then you will never gonna go wrong.

Before the separation i was suffering from neglect and cold treatment from him,all i did was search for his action like does my husband loves me?and when i found out that his action seems to show that he isn't and i also searched for , is my husband selfish? then found out he is, it just made me think so negative about him all the time,and then the fight started with him all the time, then i eventually pushed him away.

Now that he has gone,i never really thought finding out 
why is he like that and finding a solution to the problem as 
the saying goes prevention is better than cure.
The common mistake I have seen was doing the things you could have than discover them later like if you are going through tough times why not try to be better while you are still together and start reading self help books and think its best for the people that who are actually beggining to have strain in marriage should start finding information about how to work things out.

I could say that i think that people that aree going to get married should go through some marriage course and what to expect about and during marriage and should be warned about things that actually does arise specially, when it comes to conflict it's like going through college and then graduate then you can called yourself your qualified but at least you got some information and then when the experience comes along you can actually apply it in your own marriage and you can avoid separation and divorce and also self destruction.

I don't know guys but that was just my thought for the day.
I my self is going through it and there is only two choices in the table its either let go or fight it,either way it both hurts.
I just hope it does makes sense what i just have said in here.

I guess what i am saying is here is that when things go wrong instead of dwelling into the negative why don't we try to turn things to positive.Ive just learned the fundamental laws of life that negative attracts negative and positive attracts positive.

We shouldnt stop caring for our own self wether we are married or not and we should continue to love out self and never to lose ourself to the others even to our husband/children but not in selfish way we should care for ourself just the same way as we care others because, when everyone is all and gone there is only one person left and that is you, so look after yourself.

My choice is to let him go and i want to know if i can get through in life without him,it's going to be so painful as i still have alot of temptation to fight along of wanting him back.

Oh God give me strength.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Sounds like you are doing the right things. It is a painful process, whether we hold on or choose to detach, but atleast choosing to let go means we take the power to move forward instead of being at the whim of things outside our control.


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