# hurt and confused what to do



## nygst (Dec 21, 2013)

Hello all,

My wife has been going back and forth, both very extremes which leads me to believe among other things, that she isn't mentally well. 

She has gotten me arrested twice on domestic abuse, which one was dropped, and the recent one never made it to the DA.

She tends to overreact and our counselor has told her that she needs to stop giving me punishments that do not fit the crime, and also asked her to get a psychiatric evaluation. She is no longer going to any counselors.

She has been taking multiple types of prescription drugs since our 4 year old son's birth, and has admitted to me that it affects her moods and mental state, needs to get off of them and I've found out she does research on them online. 

Throughout our marriage, we did have conflicts, but it got worse and worse, and her typical behavior is to avoid any critisms, not take responsibility for her actions that cause me harm, make greatly exaggerated assumptions which were not true to act upon, get outside people involved, giving them a very distorted one sided story, and sometimes even by lying. I have lost a lot of weight throughout these times due to weight and her claims of negativity, control, and abusive behavior is what drives her during her dark moments. She has left me every couple weeks past 2 years, taking our son and ignoring my calls, only to return and be loving, claiming she'll never leave me, how much she loves me, etc. And something like an argument triggers her to act extremely vindicative and no matter how much I try to convince her, she gets selective in what she wants to hear and uses whatever she can to separate herself and our son from me.

She has gotten child services involved 4 times with no results, and gotten restraining orders which she ended up cancelling. 

Recently, she left, blowing up an incident, which clearly isn't what she thinks, and I stopped her from taking our son telling her it's not right to take him out of our home if she's leaving. She contacted me saying she filed for a divorce a day ago.

Last night, I was out on the balcony with my son playing inside. I heard him crying, so I ran in and saw him missing. I ran out and saw her runnning away with our son crying in her arms. I stopped her and took him in, offered her to stay and spend time, and she wanted me to leave during that time. I ended up telling her I'd be outside in the living room and she can spend time with him, but she ended up leaving.

I don't know what I need to do. I love her, and I want to help her. I'm scared she'll use whatever she can, and end up taking my son away. I'm originally from NY and I plan to go back, and it was our plan for her to follow with our son after couple months when we were ok. 

I haven't been served the divorce papers and haven't reported this to the police. Please advice. I'm also looking for a lawyer, but do not want to end up hurting her incase she does come around.


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## wilderness (Jan 9, 2013)

You ae the victim of an abusive relationship. Your wife is an abuser. Please, sir, get your ducks ina row and file for full custody of your son. I strongly suggest that you use your wife's history of false allegations as an argument for full custody in family court.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

An abuse victim who cannot leave reeks of codependency. Start individual counseling and give the wife what she wants.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JohnC_depressed (Dec 6, 2012)

I guess keep a recorder with you at all times to record her insanity, hire a PI, get the best attorney you can etc.. etc.. this seems really nuts. Wishing you the best. JC


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

GutPunch said:


> An abuse victim who cannot leave reeks of codependency. Start individual counseling and give the wife what she wants.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Except the kid!!!!


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