# My story



## fred327 (Apr 30, 2011)

So I'm not sure where to post this so here it is.
I'm married, mid 30s she is too. We have two kids 10 ish. One of them has a health problem that keeps one of us away from home on an alternating basis. about two months ago my wife told me she loved me but wasnt in love with me. weve had numerous problems around that subject. she was an at home mom fOr many years and about 5 ur ago returned to work. While she was at home I gave her rations of crap about not keeping the house clean and such. She's indicated recently that this has made her feel like less of a person and has some deep resentment for me because of it. Also along the way, I've pressured her for sex as it seems her sex drive doesn't match mine as we have sex about once a month and I want it well more than that maybe 3-4 weekly. My pressuring her has also caused some resentment. So on her side, I've been a jerk, and pressured her on sex. My issues: she likes to go out once a month or so with a friend. Plus every other weekend to play darts. Problem is I don't like it when she goes out till 3am especially when a large part of the audience is men. I realize everyone needs to have fun and I'm trying to get past my control issue there. Also a few weeks ago I found some cell records that she has been talking to a new male friend. When I looked at her phone she had his number disguised as a female friend so I wouldn't figure it out. Weve talked about it And I petty well believe her that it is a friendship and not a physical affair. The problem is I don't want my wife calling other men to chitchat or get emotional support. in the last two months she's been open about the notion that she's not sure if she wants to stay with me or leAve. I respect her for discussing it openly with me. Since this has started we've hD better communicAtions than we have in the entry of our marriage of 10+years. The base problem right now is that she's not in love with me. Making an attempt at keeping things alive, I'm giving her as much time as she needs to figure out what she wants. The hard part is that right now I feel no love from her. I feel empty. I been working out and losin weight but even that doesn't give me much peace. More thAn anything I just wanted to post this to let it out in an anonymous manner. I just long for the love (both physical and emotional) of a woman, my wife.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Lorraine M (Apr 26, 2011)

Counseling, if you both want to save the marriage, would be a good place to start. You recognize what you feel you did to contribute to the decline of the marriage and her needs, and there usually are two sides to every story but again, see a counselor, marriage therapist, etc to get started. Good Luck.


----------



## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

Keep the positive changes going Fred. Do them for you right now. Make them permanent and consistent. Your actions need to be louder than your words right now. 

Might want to pick up some reading materials - His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley and Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Then get over to the Mens Clubhouse and read about manning up. Ok?

She's still there with you for now. Thats got to be a plus and a positive. Be that man she is looking for that you were probably at one time!

Make the most of every second but don't be a doormat!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------

