# Game On



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Dating a very busy, spirited, single mom.

Contact is sporadic as a result of her schedule, and just the way her head works. Bright, fit, and feisty ... right in my wheel house.

So ... I called and left a VM yesterday morning, hoping she had a good holiday, look forward to catching up ... etc.

No response.

I send a text 15 minutes ago with the following message:

"Can we talk tonight?"

I get a response in under 30 seconds;

Her: "Is everything ok?"

I laughed out loud.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

she is cheating on you


just kidding


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

LOL


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

im glad you got that


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

okeydokie said:


> she is cheating on you


:iagree:

Install a VAR in her car
Do a hard 180
Keylog her PC and lap top
Cancel all her credit cards 
Inform her employer & family

Cheating *****!


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

An MC or DC and IC might help.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

You need to man up, pass her fitness tests, take her temperature and read NMMNG/MMSL. Oh, and read up in the Men's Clubhouse.


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## CalifGuy (Nov 2, 2011)

Personally, I'd never date a woman who didn't make me #1 priority. She can be a single mom and still make a 5 minute phone call to thank you for the holiday wishes.

The only reason I'd ever date a single mom would be if she was significantly better than I could find in a woman with no children. Of course, that also means she's settling as she could probably do way better in a man if she did not have the baggage of children.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

CalifGuy said:


> Personally, I'd never date a woman who didn't make me #1 priority. She can be a single mom and still make a 5 minute phone call to thank you for the holiday wishes.
> 
> The only reason I'd ever date a single mom would be if she was significantly better than I could find in a woman with no children. Of course, that also means she's settling as she could probably do way better in a man if she did not have the baggage of children.


Ouch ... Double downer
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

PIIHP for the win.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Had our conversation. It's never easy. And despite 'doing the right thing' nobody feels good about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Trenton said:


> What? It's over already? You so need to let me set you up. It's just that I don't know any hot, fiery chicks that have boy's bodies and live in Massachusetts.


:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

Trenton said:


> What? It's over already? You so need to let me set you up. It's just that I don't know any hot, fiery chicks that have boy's bodies and live in Massachusetts.


Hot boy bodies on girls.... not touching this one.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

It sounds so very wrong when you say it Trenton.

And although I appreciate the thought, no need to set me up.

I just found it interesting that she didn't feel compelled to respond until she got the 'we need to talk' text.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Deejo said:


> Had our conversation. It's never easy. And despite 'doing the right thing' nobody feels good about it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Should have just friend-zoned her.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Kobo said:


> Should have just friend-zoned her.


That's actually how I framed it. Pretty much where we already were. Too much going on in her life ... But it's still easier to make me the bad guy ;-) 
Which I'm ok with.

After all, I still follow the rule of 3.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Too much going on in her life is crap. Frankly, you make time....period. So what really happened?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

What really happened? 

I found someone who IS willing to make time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

Deejo said:


> But it's still easier to make me the bad guy ;-)
> Which I'm ok with.
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Of course, hopefully its a lesson learned for her. Good luck out there.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> Too much going on in her life is crap. Frankly, you make time....period. So what really happened?


this sums up all of my posts on TAM!!!!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

Deejo said:


> What really happened?
> 
> I found someone who IS willing to make time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


^^^^player^^^^


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

women say first time for love second time for money.

men say first time for love the second time for kinky sex.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Yeah! Trenton can set you up!

Everyone needs a Jersey girl that can drink you under the table and swears like a sailor. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

She probably was in touch with other guys or heard about other guys or talked about relationship over the holidays and got her head mixed up about what she was doing. Or got taken it with the disparity between all the feel-good stuff on tv and news during the holidays with what is actually going on in her life, and thought she could maybe do better (it's always a mystery to me why people think that their life will change if only they are with someone else who can make it happen...while doing nothing to change things in the direction of where they want to go....)

Bottom line is, whatever the reason, if she just gives you the blow-off and side-slip without taking into account a responsibility to communicate in any kind of relationship, she's clearly not ready for anything serious. Communication is #1 in my books, even beyond having time. Because almost anything can happen to eat away at time, especially with kids, work, health, etc. 

I'd offer up a date since I am close and am boy-sized (with female attributes) but am committed to H and marriage at this point. I think he might have an untreated mental illness which has bought him some time and leeway. Last evening he weirded out, after inviting himself to go grocery shopping with me (and hey we could use the $ his parents gave us to go to his favorite pizza place - while I'm in the middle of a diet he knows about...) he became 'bored' and decided to march in step behind me and then stand at attention whenever I stopped. I turned around and saw what he was doing and asked him about it, let him know it was strange and also embarassing and seeming to mock me since it was something he was doing while my back was turned...then came excuses of boredom and what not and three aisles later he is doing it again. Bored? After he invited himself along in order to spend time with me... I'll have to think about that. It's possible he could become bored in the nursing home, too. I am chalking it up to mental illness. Not real sure what to do now. Other than to have requested my 1/2 of the gift money and to tell him it will be a long while before I want to go grocery shopping with him. Wish I had your problems! The solution at least is clear. Move on. If this woman asks why, tell her you want to have a relationship with someone who has a more open communication style. That's fair enough.








Hope it was fun while it lasted.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

She definitely was not talking to other guys. Believe me, I recognize how naive that sounds ... but it is without question the truth.

But ... you are correct. She is most definitely NOT ready for anything serious, and that's fine, don't blame her. 

But ... a relationship is an emotional transaction, and she was never going to be able to balance the books between her life and the kind of relationship I want.

She would bristle at the comparison, but many of her behaviors mimicked my ex. And yeah ... that left a bad taste.

At the end of the day, much like the movie similarly titled, I just don't think she was that into me.


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## MarriedWifeInLove (May 28, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> women say first time for love second time for money.
> 
> men say first time for love the second time for kinky sex.


Well, then I must be a man instead of a woman.

I married first time for love,

Second time for kinky sex (and love).

Money never entered into the equation, I outearned frist hubby and outearn second one too (damn - I'm a catch, huh?). :smthumbup:


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I married the first time for love and kinky sex. EFF YEA!

Have fun in the dating scene, Deejo. I don't miss it but it sure was fun


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## COguy (Dec 1, 2011)

Deejo said:


> She definitely was not talking to other guys. Believe me, I recognize how naive that sounds ... but it is without question the truth.
> 
> But ... you are correct. She is most definitely NOT ready for anything serious, and that's fine, don't blame her.
> 
> ...


Funny cause I was just thinking, "sounds like she's just not that into you."

Good luck with the next one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Being able to recognize that ... and do something about it makes the difference between moving on, or being hopeful ... and ultimately frustrated.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

This was the ex-fiance, by the way ... should have learned my lesson the first time around 

We will remain close, no doubt ... but no hanky-panky.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Gotta admit, when you said you were dating your ex-fiance I cringed. They are ex's for a reason and the engagement was called off for a reason and it wasn't because you two were too young. I bit my tongue however.....a rarity for moi. I am glad that you realize the road you were going down before there was further damage done to either of you.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Ugh...the thought of dating any of my exes makes me cringe. lol. They are good people, but thinking about being intimate with them repulses me.


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## OOE (Mar 17, 2011)

Kind of funny (slightly related) story:

There was a type of High School reunion this past Summer. One of my exes was there. I pursued her HARD in school, and after we dated for a little over a year, she broke. my. heart.

The funny side is that in the time we spent together at the reunion, I saw that she is EXACTLY like my XW. Not only did I not learn from her and RUN from my XW when I met her, I guess that was the type of girl I found attractive back then. What in the world was I thinking??? Guess it took me 20+ years to learn.

{Back on topic...}

We're rooting for you Deejo!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

OOE said:


> Kind of funny (slightly related) story:
> 
> There was a type of High School reunion this past Summer. One of my exes was there. I pursued her HARD in school, and after we dated for a little over a year, she broke. my. heart.
> 
> ...


Is this all just part of a hard 180?


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> I bit my tongue however....


Too late to consider this a Christmas Miracle?


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> Too late to consider this a Christmas Miracle?


:lol: You slay me NG.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

My dating life has been like a living laboratory for the past couple of years.

Not a mad scientist laboratory mind you ...

Have learned a lot. Overwhelmingly, my dating experiences were positive.

New woman is ... different.
Breaking the rule of 3. This one is going to be a bonafide relationship. No doubt in my mind.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Deejo said:


> My dating life has been like a living laboratory for the past couple of years.
> 
> Not a mad scientist laboratory mind you ...
> 
> ...


If she's Keira Knightley or Mia Hamm, you two will be relationship immortals.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

No ... she actually looks more like Diane Keaton, glasses and all.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Deejo said:


> No ... she actually looks more like Diane Keaton, glasses and all.


Hold your Annie and don't let her go. Awesome Deejo!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Deejo said:


> No ... she actually looks more like Diane Keaton, glasses and all.


:smthumbup:

What - again - is the rule of 3?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

nice777guy said:


> :smthumbup:
> 
> What - again - is the rule of 3?


Never date one woman. Date, correspond with, talk to, or hang out with at least 3. Gives you a far greater perspective on people, and yourself.

By 3 dates you will know if whom you are dating is someone you want to continue to date.

I have disengaged the rule of 3.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Deejo said:


> Never date one woman. Date, correspond with, talk to, or hang out with at least 3. Gives you a far greater perspective on people, and yourself.
> 
> By 3 dates you will know if whom you are dating is someone you want to continue to date.
> 
> I have disengaged the rule of 3.


But, but.....what about pre-selection? Don't you need all three to be around at the same time?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Deejo said:


> Never date one woman. Date, correspond with, talk to, or hang out with at least 3. Gives you a far greater perspective on people, and yourself.
> 
> By 3 dates you will know if whom you are dating is someone you want to continue to date.
> 
> I have disengaged the rule of 3.


I lived this way the year before I met my husband. It was awesome. I didn't sleep with anyone....I had my own "friend" who took care of that. He was trustworthy and it wasn't weird. Good situation. Then I met my husband and I knew before our first date that i wouldn't want to date anyone else ever again.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Therealbrighteyes said:


> But, but.....what about pre-selection? Don't you need all three to be around at the same time?


Oh no ... there is this weird psychic link that the women give off, and it is channeled to other women, thereby making you totally hot even outside the circle of 3. It's science ...


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

that_girl said:


> I lived this way the year before I met my husband. It was awesome. I didn't sleep with anyone....I had my own "friend" who took care of that. He was trustworthy and it wasn't weird. Good situation. Then I met my husband and I knew before our first date that i wouldn't want to date anyone else ever again.


Nice when it works that way.

Wait ... was your friend a real dude or did he make use of 4 AA batteries? 

Never slept with multiple women while dating. Against my code. Wouldn't feel right about it.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Yeah. My ex gf from college came back to town for Christmas. Actually called me up to go on a "date" while she was here. I figured "why not?". Except all week she kept breaking our "plans" to meet up. Last minute calls to cancel.

I remember her as a nice girl, but definitely with princess syndrome, being an only child, plus she is a great looking gal. Long hair and svelte. All the package there to think she can get her own way whenever she wants.

The first two times were forgivable. The third was just annoying. On her last evening before she left she called me up for that "date". Last minute. My response...."oh. I'm far too busy tonight to meet you."

So...yeah...exes are exes for a reason.

Plus, manning up is Awesome. I learned so much from this site. In the past I would have been that little puppy dog drooling at the chance for that date, even with her constant canceling on me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Deejo said:


> What really happened?
> 
> I found someone who IS willing to make time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:smthumbup: good for you.

And she cooks?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Deejo said:


> Never date one woman. Date, correspond with, talk to, or hang out with at least 3. Gives you a far greater perspective on people, and yourself.
> 
> By 3 dates you will know if whom you are dating is someone you want to continue to date.
> 
> I have disengaged the rule of 3.


I told a single guy friend this about a year ago, I didn't say to stop at 3, just line them up and date his little heart out, cause he fell in love way too fast and has having alot of heartache ....

He was decent looking , had a great job and a newer house in a rich section , even a porshe sitting in his garage .....but almost too much of a hopeless romantic, he fell tooo fast & he would have so many problems. 

He would share some of the strange things his newest woman would do .....she would be all gong ho to have sex with him -all fired out, then afterwards -he would overhear her praying for forgiveness for it in the bathroom, then wanted him to join her in her prayers, he was telling us with this crazy laugh .....he wasn't sorry! PLus she wanted to get married & have a baby right away -which she had some medical condition that could threaten her life ... She would also play these tricks on him, say she wasn't coming over, get him all upset, then show up at his door step like a surprise. Really pi**ed him off one night, she also thought nothing of bringing her 4 nieces & nephews to crash at his house. 

He is the one that told me & my husband one night.... (heard this from his son in College).....

All men want is 3 things..... Good looking, Sane and available .....but .....you can only have 2. He come to the conclusion the one he currently had was not sane. She was a beauty though -as we met her shortly after. 

We lost touch, don't know if he found all 3 yet in one package. 

Keep working it Deejo - I bet you have to date many to find "the one", so line them up. Have fun.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

try E harmoney they do all the work for ya.

the computer match can't possibly be wrong.


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

alphaomega said:


> On her last evening before she left she called me up for that "date". Last minute. My response...."oh. I'm far too busy tonight to meet you."
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't be surprised now when you hear back from this ex gf in a few weeks for some little trivial matter of some sort or another. 

But know will really be because you dismissed her last sh!t test carrot dangling. 

It's going to eat at her vanity like acid.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

> All men want is 3 things..... Good looking, Sane and available .....but .....you can only have 2. [/quote
> 
> No, the 4 S's. . .Safe, Sane, Sexual. .. .shoot, always forget the 4rth one. . .


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Scannerguard said:


> No, the 4 S's. . .Safe, Sane, Sexual. .. .shoot, always forget the 4rth one. . .


Department of Energy??


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Scannerguard said:


> > All men want is 3 things..... Good looking, Sane and available .....but .....you can only have 2. [/quote
> >
> > No, the 4 S's. . .Safe, Sane, Sexual. .. .shoot, always forget the 4rth one. . .
> 
> ...


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Scannerguard said:


> No, the 4 S's. . .Safe, Sane, Sexual. .. .shoot, always forget the 4rth one. . .


Star Wars trilogy?


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

Deejo said:


> No ... she actually looks more like Diane Keaton, glasses and all.


Cool!


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