# Advice on marriage



## Colombianog30 (Jul 22, 2017)

hi guys.. i will be completely transparent here and i am.just looking.for.advice or comments. here we go. i met my wife wife years.ago, she is 44 and i am 31. we got.married 8 months after we met each other and well her presence and maturity attracted me to her. i have had some commitment issues( talking to other.girls in the past) and well.she has.caught me lying a couple of times.( yes.i know.is my fault). well we have not.had sex for 3 years, i took steroids pills which threw.off my testosterone and i.just felt.i didnt satisfy her enough. i went to a doctor a couple of times but just felt ashamed and embarrased.of my problem. we have had mutliple.fights and conversations and well she told me if.ahe caught me lying.one more time, she just would not care anymore and well now.she is talking to.other man. i am not.100% sure.if she has encounter them but i know.she is talking.to.them. i have considered therapy for.me and our relationship but i feel like the one with the problem is me. she told me at this point, she cant trust me and we dont.know.what tp.do.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Easy, get some long term marriage counselling.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

You know you own problem. Commitment. Marriages don't work without it. Trouble is she is getting fed up with it it appears and is looking at other men. Marriage is a covenant and in a way a sacrifice but it pays great dividends. If you can solve your committment problem and bring her around your marriage would be restored.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

My best marriage advice is...



Wait for it...











Here it comes....






Hold on to your hat....






Its just around the bend....






Never get married in the first place!


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## cc48kel (Apr 5, 2017)

Yes, she is fed up with the lying and what not. Feels like why bother with you so she is talking with someone else. You don't like this but if you can do it why can't she? If you are serious about your relationship then go to counselling. She can see for herself that you really do care and want your marriage to work.


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## Colombianog30 (Jul 22, 2017)

Of course i got jealous and i could not help it and i guess the realization of her doing it just made me reevaluate my actions. I know i did it before and she is doing it because she has everything kept inside like i do. I just do not know where to start. I mean we do not kiss passionate, barely touch ( i touch her more than she touches me), and honestly i am afraid of going to counseling and not to work in out relationship. I love her and care about her and she deserves the best in this world and idk i am just really afraid. In a way i feel depressed and anxious because i had hurt her and also in a way hurt myself by just not doing anything


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

The bottom line is that you are afraid as you mentioned several times in the previous post. Afraid to commit, afraid to talk, afraid of this afraid of that. You are just afraid. 
So face your fear for once and stop being afraid. Do you think you will die if you talk? Do you think you will be seriously injured? The way I see it, if you continue down this path there is a 100% chance you will not like how it turns out. If you face your fear there is at least some chance you will succeed. Ultimately the choice is yours - guaranteed failure or possible success.


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## Colombianog30 (Jul 22, 2017)

Thank you for your advise. I need to take action on this and i just feel lile if counseling does not work, we will probably go our separate ways. Again she is a bit older than me and she is the more serious in the relationship where i am very free spirited and doesnt like to make a big deal out of things


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Before you can even attempt to start fixing your relationship, you need to fix you. 

Go to the doctor and figure out how to treat your hormone imbalance and ED. Tell your doctor everything, omit nothing. 

Once you address the physical issues, seek an individual counselor to help you stop lying to protect your ego. This is a character flaw that you will never correct without psychological help. 

AFTER you've done the above, THEN address the problems in your marriage. 

You have a long road ahead. Good luck. 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## FalCod (Dec 6, 2017)

Have you thought that she may be angry with you because you use so many extraneous periods that your writing makes it look like someone eating sesame seeds sneezed on my monitor?


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

FalCod said:


> Have you thought that she may be angry with you because you use so many extraneous periods that your writing makes it look like someone eating sesame seeds sneezed on my monitor?


:rofl: :lol:
Thanks for the laugh


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

chillymorn69 said:


> My best marriage advice is...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Amen.. Truer words have never been spoken!


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## Colombianog30 (Jul 22, 2017)

Love the sense of humor.. i needed that lol will blame my new phone for that one


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

chillymorn69 said:


> My best marriage advice is...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thats sad, marriage is great if you marry the right person. :smile2:


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> Thats sad, marriage is great if you marry the right person. :smile2:


Time will tell.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

chillymorn69 said:


> Time will tell.



I knew within a week that he was the man for me, and not for one second have I ever regretted it, 13 years this year and it gets better and better. I am also very fortunate to have friends who have been happily married for 35-40 years or more. Its great to see long marriages like this that have lasted so well and where the couple clearly still love each other so much. :smile2:


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