# New here, and fairly newly separated



## Pixiefingers (Jul 31, 2021)

Hi all.

I became separated on the 4th of May, after being with him for 21 years (Married for 18 years)

The request for the divorce was mine, and I have a million reasons, but I won't go into all that right now.

I guess I can say that I'm lucky in the sense that we were always friends first, before anything else, and separated on good terms, so our divorce proceedings are currently going smoothly.

I guess you could say I'm here because I hid what I went through from family and friends... I hid it for 18 years and just because a divorce is amicable, it doesn't make it any less stressful on a person.

So for now I'll just say that I'm looking forward to getting to know the members here and maybe make some friends, gradually share my life with everyone, and hopefully be able to offer some advice or input wherever possible.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

I welcome you here first 
and I think no one goes into divorce lightly and after so many years even more so , 
I feel it is strange that it is so easy to get married but hard to divorce from the way you just tell the state you are happy to get married in some countries 
you can meet and get married the same day or within a short time without ever even filling out a question and response form but the same countries 
have long and completed divorce


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## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

Welcome here fellow South-African. I am sorry you have to end such a long marriage in divorce. I do not know what lead to your choice to do so, because a divorce for reasons barring physical abuse or infidelity is not something I could ever completely get myself to condone. Falling out of love or not being happy is no reason in my book. Love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is a verb.

As I said, I don't know what lead you to this choice, but I hope you have thought very hard about what you are doing.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hello @Pixiefingers and welcome.


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