# Unsatisfied sex /no sex in a marriage



## RaRa66 (10 mo ago)

We have been married for 20 yrs, i am 45 en hubby 70s i have 2 kids 18 and 15. Still love my hubby very much. We had been having good sex he is trying his best and very sportive man. About 3 years he has been having heart problems and sex has gone for a while. How do i solve sex issues from my side coz i dont want to leave my hubby


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## Helping Hand (Sep 8, 2020)

There is nothing you want to feel insecured about he leaving you or vice versa. This usually happens due to heart rate getting raised while reaching climax / getting satisfied.

your job is to make him calm down,thats all.

more on your reply ! Cheers


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

RaRa66 said:


> About 3 years he has been having heart problems and sex has gone for a while.


His sexual ability is not likely to return. Heart disease is a progressive disease. Your husband's body knows that he needs blood supply to his brain and organs far more than to his penis.

Your husband can continue to give you orgasms through oral and manual stimulation. Continue being close to each other, share your sexualities to the degree that you can. It's not a perfect world......but it can be a good one.....


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

RaRa66 said:


> We have been married for 20 yrs, i am 45 en hubby 70s i have 2 kids 18 and 15. Still love my hubby very much. We had been having good sex he is trying his best and very sportive man. About 3 years he has been having heart problems and sex has gone for a while. How do i solve sex issues from my side coz i dont want to leave my hubby


Take care of your husband. You married a man that is about 3 decades older than you.

You were 25 and he was in his 50's so you knew what you were getting into.

It sounds like he had a very good run and has taken good care of you so do what you can with what you have in him and be content.

It is a little telling about your mindset that you even mentioned not wanting to leave your husband but you really want fulfilling sex.

I understand your desire but you chose this man and need to honor him and yourself.

Maybe he can have some good days left but his health is failing and that is very common for people in their 70's.

He might not have many years left. Fill them with joy and honor so nothing filthy causes a shadow on your family.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

RaRa66 said:


> We have been married for 20 yrs, i am 45 en hubby 70s i have 2 kids 18 and 15. Still love my hubby very much. We had been having good sex he is trying his best and very sportive man. About 3 years he has been having heart problems and sex has gone for a while. How do i solve sex issues from my side coz i dont want to leave my hubby


There are lots of ways to get intimacy and sexual satisfaction with him, while not having PIV sex. Have you discussed or explored other options with him?


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

RaRa66 said:


> We have been married for 20 yrs, i am 45 en hubby 70s i have 2 kids 18 and 15. Still love my hubby very much. We had been having good sex he is trying his best and very sportive man. About 3 years he has been having heart problems and sex has gone for a while. How do i solve sex issues from my side coz i dont want to leave my hubby


FWIW, yes the sex is an issue if your needs aren't being met. However, IMO the bigger issues are making sure your family is on sound financial footing if his health continues to deteriorate. What happens if his health issues keep worsening? What happens if you have to stop working (assuming you work now) to care for him? I see that you have two teens (one still a minor) so you're likely to have significant household expenses for a number of years.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

Viagra and/or TRT.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

i guess a lot depends on your husband's attitude.
if he has ED, and can no longer satisfy you, some men would offer a hall pass.

there is an Eagle song about that.....


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

This whole thread seems to have veered off course. I mean do we have any indication this guy has any money? People have been assuming that but he could just have social security and nothing much else.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

CountryMike said:


> Did not the younger W already leave or making noises as she's about to go, because now the age difference is beginning to matter?
> 
> So, the only thing left is for him to D her, continue to care for/ have his kids in his life, and to have the best life left. It may involve another M. Or it may not.
> 
> I'm just describing a common circumstance.


ACTUALLY the younger W has one and only one post that indicates the lack of sex due to his age / health is a problem she was looking for suggestions on how to make it work because she DOESN"T want a divorce. This whole thread is a lot of assumptions and side threads.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

A long thread jack has been deleted. I'm sure all of you who participated in this thread jack have chased the OP off this site. If you post on this thread, post directly to the OP and offer her support/help. 

I'm in shock over the horrible treatment this woman got here on TAM.


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

RaRa66 said:


> We have been married for 20 yrs, i am 45 en hubby 70s i have 2 kids 18 and 15. Still love my hubby very much. We had been having good sex he is trying his best and very sportive man. About 3 years he has been having heart problems and sex has gone for a while. How do i solve sex issues from my side coz i dont want to leave my hubby


Have Him see a urologist for e.d. issues. There is ways to get satisfaction together.
It's tough for a man to lose virility and only have a 30% or no erection no matter what age. Youare wise learn all about e.d. go together to doctor. If you talk with each other about it, it's not that scary. Good luck


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## 54 always wanting more (Jul 11, 2021)

RaRa66 said:


> We have been married for 20 yrs, i am 45 en hubby 70s i have 2 kids 18 and 15. Still love my hubby very much. We had been having good sex he is trying his best and very sportive man. About 3 years he has been having heart problems and sex has gone for a while. How do i solve sex issues from my side coz i dont want to leave my hubby


Talk to him, tell him you need sex with something other than a dildo or vibrator. You might be suprised what he suggests. If you were my wife I would suggest you take on a lover and just let me watch.


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## David60525 (Oct 5, 2021)

54 always wanting more said:


> Talk to him, tell him you need sex with something other than a dildo or vibrator. You might be suprised what he suggests. If you were my wife I would suggest you take on a lover and just let me watch.


You sick, don't recommend that.
Side stuff gets you laid, we all want icing intimacy on top of sex. Sex is cake, you need to get icing from your spouse, or leave,


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