# stop myself from being stupid



## faithaqua (Nov 28, 2011)

Oh boy! What a week---something changed drastically with my husband (moved out in Oct) last week and now I feel he's just being rude and mean.
I spent the week trying to understand what his deal is---texting, emailing, ugh---I've been so good. He didn't respond which made me more upset, angry, just plain feeling used. On Thursday, I wrote him a text that simply said "I 'hear' you loud and clear. You are rude for not replying"
Well! That got him responding---amazing. He wrote back the next day---"I am not f****in' rude. You got something to day pick up the f*****in' phone and say it"
Quite frankly, his angry tone frightened me and I simply wrote back: why are u cursing? which by the way, is very rude. 
I haven't heard anything and the weekend is here and that seems to be the roughest---during the week, I am kept busy by work, but on the weekend all I do is picture him laughing it up, meeting women, and worse, having relations with those women---it kills me. I have to stop myself from doing stupid things, like continuing to find answers I won't get.
Thanks for reading---any motivational words to keep me strong would be much appreciated.


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## Nsweet (Mar 3, 2012)

He is looking for reasons to justify his leaving the marriage. He will pick fights with you just to feel you are the bad person instead of facing guilt. And he might try to make you jealous over another woman or blame you for something foolish. Don't give into this! 

Instead be the mature person and act indifferent about his childish behavior. Understand he is is rejecting you because he doesn't want to face what is going on. Most likely he feels guilty every time you contact him and if you do it enough annoyed and ticked off. If he wants to ignore you and have his space, then give him exactly that. 

Let him think he pushed you away for good this time and stop trying to get involved in his life. No making any desperate texts to get a reaction out of him or frantic phone calls late at night. Give him a few weeks to a few months without you and see if he notices. 

Just a heads up.... the withdraw you'll feel from not hearing from him will be incredibly painful for a few weeks and get better later on. And spying or looking at things that remind you of him only makes things worse.


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## faithaqua (Nov 28, 2011)

I wish I read your post earlier---it did make sense and make me feel better. Yesterday, being St. Patty's day, I indulged in a couple of drinks in the afternoon---plus it was gorgeous outside. Anyway, I sent a text (and then another) and he finally replied "I'm annoyed by this" so you were right. 
I got the full message and will now cease and desist---unfortunately, you're also correct that it hurts and it will be difficult to keep myself from 'searching' etc. but I have to find ways to disconnect since apparently he has already done so


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