# Confused on Choosing Wife or Mistress



## MichiganDave (Sep 8, 2016)

First off, it seems like I already know the answer to my question. Leave both woman, they deserve MUCH better.

I had an affair for over 3 years with a co-worker. However the woman I was having an affair with had no idea I was married and living with my wife and child. She did know I was married, but working on divorce papers and separated from 'wife' Somehow I was able to lie about this for 3 years straight. She's 5 years younger than me.

3 years before I started my affair I seen flirtatious emails from my wife and her co-worker who worked at another office. This was upsetting and saddened me, but she claims nothing happened and even wanted to do a lie detector test to prove me wrong, because I threaten to leave. That could have been the perfect opportunity to leave, even before that I tried breaking up but she got the whole family involved and made me the bad guy. I was a low point in my life; I was not in shape, bad grooming, dressed horribly, lazy, etc...a few years later we had a son and married.

In 2014 I landed a lucrative 6 figure job that instantly boosted my self esteem and changed my life. I went from 0 to 100, REALLY QUICK. I became a gym rat, focused on health and diet and changed my whole appearance. With all that said. I just moved to a far away city recently for a even better position, my affiar finally had enough of not ever meeting my parents, going to my house, hanging out on the weekends, etc...and we broke up a month after I left. She said I never made her priority. I was scared of getting caught by wife, so I declined all dates and made countless excuses. As beautiful as the girl is, she basically didnt do much from 19-22, as far as socializing and going out. She mainly stayed at home. As beautiful as she is, there would be a line of millioniares who will marry her in a heart beat. I was happy and but upset she called it quits but was becoming more of a family man. However all trips and vacations, I made sure I invited a lot more family. I never had fun with just her, i fell miserable but yet calm and comfortable if that makes sense. I do feel like a jerk for taking this prime years from here but she had many opportunities to go out with girls from work.

Then just last week, I went on social mediia and quickly became infatuated with my ex again after seeing her pics. I text her and bent over backwards to get her back. I lied more and more to her to gain her back. Now that she's back, she's telling me she loves me again and wants to move in, she wants to start a business and become an actress . My wife is not that attractive, but the woman I had an affair with is a complete bombshell. She's smart, beautiful, sexy and classy. I married young and was never really attracted to my wife. I just cant imagine not waking up to my kid everyday. Our kid is 2 and sleeps in the same bed. I love my wife because she takes care of me and is the best mom ever, she also takes care of my grandparents. She's a great cook and wife, but I do not want to be seen with her in public, I get embarrassed. She's not even ugly, I'm just an idiot who expects a trophy wife.

My mom left me when I was only 4 but I dont have mommy issues. I seen her before she passed a few dozen times. I'm 27 btw. I would even admit of having sex with over 15 woman I met online when I was dating my wife at the time. I'm a horrible person. Even though I had low self esteem at the time, I was sorta blessed with good looks but lacked any swag. I did the online dating and hooking up because it was a thrill but never wanted to have a relationship with any of these woman. I lied to them, in my eyes they were not the one night type but i lied and lied.

What should I do? Need advice


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## Wolfman1968 (Jun 9, 2011)

Wow. Just wow.

Stick with your first paragraph, dude.
You knew the answer before you began.
And get some counseling to get your head on straight.


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

We have had this one before.


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## BURNT KEP (Oct 3, 2012)

Getting the popcorn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

...


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

You should follow the excellent advice in the first paragraph of your post.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)




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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Choose Door #3.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

BURNT KEP said:


> Getting the popcorn.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The slushies are on me! :grin2:


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## EunuchMonk (Jan 3, 2016)

TAM old heads know something we newbies don't


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

tropicalbeachiwish said:


> The slushies are on me! :grin2:


I used to love slushies. But they are really bad for you. I've been living a low sweetener life for several years now. The idea sounds good but when I actually try one the sugar level overwhelms me and I can't enjoy it.


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