# Separated and on an emotional roller coaster



## Gapeach4 (Feb 13, 2016)

My first time to this forum. My husband decided after a couple months of disagreements and issues that he was leaving. He has been gone for 6 weeks. He provides no financial support, no emotional support, no physical support , no intimacy. Nothing. I constantly have to initiate contact with him. He is receptive when I initiate. But it doesn't feel good to be the only initiating. I have done everything...prayer everyday, The Love Dare Challenge, which I stopped after 6 days, gifts, surprises, etc. I decided to back off. My thoughts are leading me to a divorce. When I ask him does he wanna remain married he said he doesn't know and that he needs some more time. When he first left he would not even kiss me when we would meet up. As of last week he has began to kiss me again. But he just is not finding time to be with me. The lies that he is coming over, we will spend time together have not happened. Im getting really frustrated and like I said I'm leaning more and more to divorce. I feel unwanted physically, sexually by him. I don't want to hastily go into a divorce but I feel like he is dangling me. I'm not the female to hang around while u have your life and when u r done then I will come home now. This is my life and nit a game and I feel that is what he is doing. I just need advice, maybe from someone who has gone thru this. Oh and my husband also tells me I should have faith...how about u come home like a husband is supposed to and do right by your family. Faith without works is dead....


----------



## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

Welcome! I am glad that you came in to share...it's helps you but also helps others. I am not sure what prompted your husband to leave but often they leave TO another woman. Usually, another woman is somewhere in the shadows. 

It appears that he abandoned is family without support. Typically, the legal system has safeguards such as temporary support. I would find out via a consult with a lawyer. I am not saying to divorce but you have to quit being the nice person and not making waves. He needs to step up one way or another.

How are you doing? Are you getting support from a counselor; friends; church?


----------



## Gapeach4 (Feb 13, 2016)

@corpuswife...I am having some good days and some bad. Believe it or not I am the office manager of a large church. I am very active in my church and receive alot of Christian counsel. All which have never advised me to divorce but to instead keep praying for him and to remember the movie WarRoon. My husband is doing a lot of things of the world and I don't rightfully agree with them. Part of his reasoning for leaving. I'm really not trying to be the nice guy. I do understand my rights and what I am obligated to as his wife, which is why pretty much on Monday I will have made up my mind. I can't worry about if it is another woman or not. I just simply cant. That will drive a person insane. But what I can do is pray that he gets back connected to God. All of shift in our marriage began when he took his focus off God. I am trying to be strong and continue pressing on but I don't want to and be made a fool of. This is how I am starting to feel. This is both our 2nd marriage. And I tell u, I am working overtime to save this one. I didn't work this hard on the first. But I know I am a much different person now. A more spiritually sound person. I asked God to stop me if He does not want this divorce to occur. I can't change my husband. He has to want to come home and be changed.


----------



## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

I think you got your head on right. Stay strong. You seem to have reached a point of acceptance, divorce or come back and fix the issues in the marriage. 

You mentioned financial considerations. There is a lot of info on the web to start you begin your financial post divorce. If you don't mind what state do you live ?


----------



## Gapeach4 (Feb 13, 2016)

@JohnA...I reside in GA. I really don't have peace with going thru with divorce, which is why I am here in this forum. If he won't put forth the effort, I don't see the need in continuing. He is just in the way of someone who will truly do right by me.


----------



## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Amen


----------



## lexis (Feb 11, 2016)

Stop praying and start filing for support.


----------



## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Most people separate because there's another person in their life. Perhaps he thinks he can return if he finds that the grass out there is not as green as he thought. Many do. It's called Plan B. You've been chasing him and so he feels he has nothing to lose -- and no hurry -- because you'll be there waiting when, or if, he decides to return. Change that. He may come back or he may not but you'll be moving on with your life either way and not stuck in limbo as you are now.


----------



## Gapeach4 (Feb 13, 2016)

@Open minded u r absolutely right. I am not a plan B...and to the other post...I will never stop praying but the filing will be in motion. I think the one thing that upsets me the most is that I feel like 5 years was wasted. No type of fight for his marriage.


----------

