# Wealthly



## Joylush (Sep 28, 2013)

I am an independently wealthy woman deeply in love with a working class man. He doesn't have to work if he didn't want to but I respect him very much for the work he does. I find him amazing in all ways. If anything I wish he'd work less so I could have more time with him and hate that he's exhausted so often but don't want to do anything to make him feel emasculated. He doesn't want to be viewed as a kept man but much of the work he does is in support of my business. I try to convince him what other people may or may not think isn't our business as we can't control it anyway. If nothing else I'd prefer to imagine them thinking he must be a pretty amazing guy to have a woman so obviously in love with him even if what he has to offer isn't financial in nature. What he brings to the table is nothing money can buy, it's so much more than that. 
He is my provider of everything that's important to me. Are men really made to feel less if they earn less? Is there anything I can do to reassure him that his financial situation is of no concern to me? He does the best he can and he's not dependent on me. I guess that's what I need to make sure of--that he's never made to feel he is. I love him so. I guess I'm not sure what my question is. And no, I've never once felt any inkling that his only interest in me is the fact that I do have money. I think the less he knows about it then he feels.


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## thenub (Oct 3, 2014)

It sounds to me that you are very happy with the man you have. I used to hate working long hours but found when I didn't I was very moody and anxious. Most men, although they may say differently, need to work. Have you considered rearranging your schedule to more closely match his? This is a good way to be able to spend more time together. 
The money thing shouldn't be an issue. My wife is a CPA and makes a very nice living. I am and always have been a blue collar worker. I enjoy working with my hands and can honestly say there isn't much I can't do. My earnings are sometimes close to hers but the hours I work exceed hers considerably. I also run a part time cabinet business which keeps me busy on weekends and some evenings. I do however make sure I have time for her and the kids.
Now back to the money thing. The only time I ever feel inadequate is if during an argument she through a it in my face. It will make me rethink my future but I just can't imagine being the "office type". I could earn as much or more than her but I would never be around, which is something I am not prepared to do. 
My suggestion is to sit down with him and discuss your feelings about it. Maybe he will cut back a bit and you can meet him half way by altering your schedule. Maybe try it for 6 months and take it from there.


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## Joylush (Sep 28, 2013)

Good ideas all of them! He is overworked, quite a perfectionist and hates to disappoint others. It has it's pros and cons but overall I love that about him. I think he's a little insecure because he doesn't recognize his own value! Probably the most humble man I've ever met and just another thing I find endearing. I guess we take our own skills and qualities for granted. 
If only he could see himself through my eyes! But then again I sometimes wonder what he sees in me! The man is 55 years old and is a machine!


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

Joylush said:


> Good ideas all of them! He is overworked, quite a perfectionist and hates to disappoint others. It has it's pros and cons but overall I love that about him. I think he's a little insecure because he doesn't recognize his own value! Probably the most humble man I've ever met and just another thing I find endearing. I guess we take our own skills and qualities for granted.
> If only he could see himself through my eyes! But then again I sometimes wonder what he sees in me! The man is 55 years old and is a machine!


I'm an artist and it costs money to make my kind of art but it is also very difficult to rise to the level of getting paid for your work. I knew I could never make a good living doing what I loved so I married a woman who was independently wealthy and even though the marriage is a disaster sex-wise I am very happy making my art free of worrying about where the next paycheck is coming from.


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Not sure I would bring this up.

The way he is acting, if he is actually working to support your business, he probably feels that he needs to do these kind of hours out of a self respect thing to show he is bringing added value to the marriage/company.

Asking him to cut that would raise some serious specters. I think he is dealing with this his own way.

I would instead reinforce the point that you adjust you sched if possible. Additionally, make sure he has the best tools for the job. Sometimes the exact right tool will make the job quicker and easier and men tend to love 'gadgets'.

And when vacations come up, make sure they are lavish. He won't feel guilty about both of you enjoying a vacation as long as both of you have equal input on destinations and events.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

How long have you been together? That may be part of the equation.

For instance, if a man were 55, in a long term marriage, with the financial situation you describe, he might feel much more apt to retire early, or cut back.

However, if you've not been together terribly long, and are not married, I can certainly see why he would continue to work. That's your money you speak of; he feels he must still pay his way.


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## nanofaan (Aug 1, 2014)

some men will feel less about themselves if they dont work.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

i do the work I do for helping others. Not for my paycheck which is never enough. I won't quit until I have accomplished all I want to. But that will be on my terms no one else's


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

Wolf1974 said:


> i do the work I do for helping others. Not for my paycheck which is never enough. I won't quit until I have accomplished all I want to. But that will be on my terms no one else's


Yeah, but you've also got stately Wayne Manor, and Batgirl to come back to after every mission.


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