# Please Save My Sanity...Wife doesnt like to kiss me



## Yzermanalec (Oct 18, 2011)

Hi all i am new here and after talking to many friends and family members im am still as lost and confused as ever.. Here is my problem hopefully you can help me sleep at night.....

My wife and I have been married for 10 years but and everything to my knowledge has been good (obviously every marriage has fights and issues) but within the past 6 months to a year we have almost been more roomates than a married couple. One weekend about 6 months ago I sat both of us down and discussed this issue, she felt the same way and after a entire weekend of talking and soul searching she mentioned to me that she need some freedom to experience life (we both married young "18" and both never really did the whole bar and dating scene). She felt she was missing something, so she suggested we start a more "swinger" Lifestyle which we both came to a agreement to try and see if this would help the missing part of our lives together. At first it did it helped our communication and openess with each other (and we had not even slept with anyone different at that point). but just recently we had an encounter with another couple in which we both had sex with the opposites wife. on the drive home the next morning every thing was fine and we talked about what we experienced. but just last week i noticed she was a little more distant, and secretive she would hid her phone and put a password on it... i did a little digging and found out she had been talking with the other guy very frequently (50 text messages a day). i confronted her last week and she told me that she had lost a connection with me a long time ago and did not feel anything when we kissed each other... i dug a little more and the text messages turned to emails and sending nude photos of each other and talking on the phone. she was spending more time with him than with me. she later told me she felt a connection with this guy that she does not have with me and wanted to see if it was for real.....she told me she wanted to take a break and find herself and see what she wanted....this guy is saying all the right things and pushing all the right buttons to confuse and distract her. we talked this weekend and she told me she wanted to see if there was anything possible with this guy.. which puts me in a hard postion i love her deeply and care about her and my children but i dont want to be a backup plan if this does not work out with this guy. if she stays with me i feel she will still not have this connection and will always be resentful and unhappy and that staying was the easiest road to take. but if she goes that will be just as hard. i left the house this morning and told her i could not be around this while she made up her mind what she needed to be happy. but know all i think about is her and my kids and i cant sleep, eat or think without having a anxiety attack.. all possible roads have potential for good and bad i just dont know what to do.... any advice is greatly appreciated....


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

Woah. I don't think I have any good advice for you but you need to put your foot down and not put up with her b.s. 

She's cheating on you already. The ball is in your court if you can forgive her emotional affair but to even think about that, she would have to end it, have no further contact with the guy, no more secret passwords and so on, and COMPLETELY commit to being faithful to you. 

She's just keeping you around until she decides whether you're the one she wants? Oh he11 no.


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## Yzermanalec (Oct 18, 2011)

Omega

i know that is what everyone is telling me...and i am worried that if she finds out that this guy will not leave his family for her and she comes back to me will she just be with me untill the next guy or connection comes around and we will be going through this all over again... or will she just stay with me because its the easiest route and resent me for not being what she needs....im in a quandry....


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

The truth is that it's completely unfair to you, and it utterly sucks that she has decided to mess with your marriage like this. But the fact is that she has. But instead of checking out of the marriage completely, it's as if she wants to put it on ice until she's ready to make up her mind. And you are right to worry that even if she picks you this time, there could well be another time around the bend.


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## RDJ (Jun 8, 2011)

Yzermanalec said:


> text messages a day).
> this guy is saying all the right things and pushing all the right buttons.


Short answer. Begging, pleading, chasing, being weak, being needy, and pushing will PUSH her towards him.

YOU be the man you described about him. You be the man that says all the right things and push all of her RIGHT buttons.

Emotionally Seduce your wife away from him. And move your butt back home. You cant win her back if your not there. You only leave an open home for someone else to fill.


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## Yzermanalec (Oct 18, 2011)

RDJ,

i want nothing but to be in my house but she wants this break and i cant be around it.. if she does not have these feelings for me why should i hurt myself by seeing and being around her.


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## RDJ (Jun 8, 2011)

Just my opinion, but leaving her in her happy little home with her whole life in tact except you being gone is giving her just what she wants.

If she wants the space so badly, tell her to go take it elsewhere. Let her endure a little hardship, a little reality in what she is giving up.

That may be enough to shock her into the reality of the situation. I would be prepared for her to resist it and try to force you out. If she does, it just proves that she wants it all her way and she is not willing to give up her happy little unrealistic life.

Apply a little pressure for her to step up or step out. Let her know that this is not what you desire, but she has a choice to make and she needs to make it. No excuses.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Married Man Sex Life: How a Bad MMF Leads to Polyamory Weakly

This applies to swinging as well.


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## dwalt78 (Oct 17, 2011)

I am going to be straight forward my friend. I am disgusted with your spouse for doing this to you. Leave her take your children and let her have her little fantasy. Your children do not deserve to be in the middle of this situation. Your wife is a cheater and once a cheater always a cheater. Every couple that I know that have married very young and did not have the party life leave each other. Life is very short my friend and you will find someone else down the road. In fact tell her to leave the house, she does not deserve to get the luxury of having the goods. Stay strong, and don't let this destroy you.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

You have been sold a bill of good by her. From the start she set this al in motion so she could cheat.

Divorce her, she is playing you for a fool. Consider that even after you agreed to an open marriage, she is still hiding things from you. She can't even be open and honest in an open marriage.

Her behavior prior to your talk also indicates that she was likely already cheating. The open idea was to help her feel less guilty.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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