# Choosing BS Only When Dumped by AP?



## Matos (Mar 25, 2016)

When a WS is dumped by their AP and then tries to reconcile with their BS, do they only do so because they no longer have a shot with their AP? Are they then on the look-out for a new AP? 

I’m sure the answer would vary, considering individuals are different. But I’m thinking a lot of WS only decide to reconcile with their BS because of losing their AP. 

I’d love to hear from anyone who has any insight, WS or BS. 

I’m not here to start a war, I’m just very curious if anyone actually decides they love their BS more than their AP and doesn't just pick them as the default option when things don't work out with the AP. Grasping at straws in my own situation, I suppose.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Matos said:


> But I’m thinking a lot of WS only decide to reconcile with their BS because of losing their AP.


It's called Plan B. 

But IMO it is more than that. The cheater is with the AP because there is some VERY STRONG emotional or physical need not being met. In the fog, the cheater cannot see what they are losing by cheating. Once dumped by the AP, the cheater - now out of the fog - might see all the "good" things in the current relationship and want to "go home".

Or, it could be that they just have nowhere else to sleep since the AP kicked them out.


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## Matos (Mar 25, 2016)

blueinbr said:


> It's called Plan B.
> 
> But IMO it is more than that. The cheater is with the AP because there is some VERY STRONG emotional or physical need not being met. In the fog, the cheater cannot see what they are losing by cheating. Once dumped by the AP, the cheater - now out of the fog - might see all the "good" things in the current relationship and want to "go home".
> 
> Or, it could be that they just have nowhere else to sleep since the AP kicked them out.


As the BS, does one ever truly know which one it is? Does the reason matter when it comes to reconciliation?


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## bankshot1993 (Feb 10, 2014)

Personally, i would never settle for being someone's second choice, or their plan b. I have enough respect for myself that i couldn't spend the rest of my life with someone knowing that they were looking at me thinking they would rather have someone else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

I am totally guessing here and these are just my thoughts, but I would suspected that most cheaters do not expect to or want to leave their marriage. Otherwise, they would divorce and just move on. You can read here many stories of how the affair "just happened". Starts with talking/chatting, then flirting, then lunches, then maybe EA and eventually PA. Not same formula every time but you get the idea. Then, once the affair is exposed or ended by the AP, the cheater goes "Oh Sh!t" and wants to go home.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Plan B.

Well it is nice to be a part of some plan. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Matos said:


> When a WS is dumped by their AP and then tries to reconcile with their BS, do they only do so because they no longer have a shot with their AP? Are they then on the look-out for a new AP?
> 
> I’m sure the answer would vary, considering individuals are different. But I’m thinking a lot of WS only decide to reconcile with their BS because of losing their AP.
> 
> ...


Perhaps the BS would have a better chance at reconciliation if the WS dumps their AP and not the other way around.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

My ex had cheated on me nearly a decade ago, the first time, with her ex bf, emotionally online then it became ( Most likely) physical after they spent time together in person.. Plans were laid, among other things lol, and had certain things gone down differently they would have ended up together. Even after D-day she was still ever cheating with hi,, just better at hiding it, which continued for well over a year. Since I have a very good memory I was able to pinpoint in retrospect the times she was uncannily affectionate to the times when him and her weren't getting along. When he ignored her, she was highly loving, when they fought, she was highly loving...

So using my experience and most peoples testimonies here and elsewhere, most cases of Reconciliation are based on the AP ending the affair.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

BTW I know all about being your honey's Plan B. 

It isn't very nice. ("No s**t, Matt! Really?"  )
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Agree with the plan b. That only becomes an option when the fantasy comes crashing down. I will say one thing my X had giant brass balls to even try coming back to me after what she did.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

VeryHurt said:


> Perhaps the BS would have a better chance at reconciliation if the WS dumps their AP and not the other way around.


 Shazzam!! The quote of the day!!


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## Bibi1031 (Sep 14, 2015)

Quite frankly very few times does the WS come back period. They leave because they truly believe, and may be right that they no longer love the betrayed spouse. If they get dumped by their AP, they simply go searching for another. 

It's not that different from when you are in a relationship with someone and the decision is made to breakup. Once you break up, you go out and search for someone else. 

Same here. That's why they are X boyfriends/girlfriends/lovers/ SO/ husband/wife etc. very few get back with an X period. You simply move on to another relationship that doesn't have baggage. A clean slate so to speak.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

A WS choosing his or her BS only _after_ being dumped by his or her AP is a meaningless gesture.

Don't ever be anyone's "Plan B".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

This is so silly but every time I hear the expression "Plan B," I think back to the 60's when my parents took us to a Chinese restaurant to eat.

The menu would say:

Choose one from Column A and choose two from Column B

Column A had lobster and shrimp dishes

Column B had tofu and bean sprout dishes

66, never ever allow yourself to be a sprout !! :wink2:


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## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

they want to have it all.

they want their baby father (or baby mother), they want their life stability, the paycheck, the social appearances.

but they also want that thrill, that adrenaline, that excitement and feeling like a 16 year old again.

they're just not mature or strong enough to face the realities of life and the longer view of what true love is.

it's about endurance and cheaters don't usually have enough of it.


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## nursejackie (May 22, 2015)

I'm not sure if this applies to your situation exactly but it may help give insight-

We were together 12 years at the time (married 7) I had been telling H repeatedly how lonely and invisible I felt in the marriage. I had told him jokingly "if some guy even looked me in the eye while I talked to him I'd be ripe for an affair…he laughed. 

I am not blaming BS. I should have gone to IC/MC, I could have filed for divorce or initiated a separation so that he knew how serious I was. I didn't. I chose to have an A and that is all on me. I will regret it for the rest of my life.

I quit my AP while still in the fog - I kept thinking life would be perfect if I could just have both. I'd be so happy….Classic cake eater stuff. This made me realize I didn't love the AP -I loved H. It was not really the AP i wanted -it was what the AP was giving me that I wanted from H. I knew the chemical stuff was just a giant bonus that would wear off eventually. 

IMHO a wayward has the potential to recognize intellectually what is going on and why. The difficult part is giving up the chemicals and learning to communicate effectively so that you can meet each others needs within the marriage. Exposure and MC/IC helps speed this up. I think it is possible to fall in love again with your spouse.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

GusPolinski said:


> A WS choosing his or her BS only _after_ being dumped by his or her AP is a meaningless gesture.
> 
> Don't ever be anyone's "Plan B".
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It would also depend on the reason why your WP dumped the AP. If because the AP refused to drop their other activity, _if you know what I mean_, well, that's just as empty a gesture.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

My FWH dumped his POSOW and she reconciled with her husband. That said...this woman has been trying to get out of her marriage using this method for years. She admitted to my WH that he was her THIRD affair. After he dumped her, she played the suicidal card, which didn't work, and she stayed with her husband...and has since had at least one more A that I know of for sure, and she's still home. She's trying to get a meal ticket out of her current situation. She targeted my H all the way. She had been a friend of my SIL, and saw my H mowing the grass, shirtless, when they visited my MIL, and she stole his number from SIL's phone. They had met casually, but then she found some excuse to need to call him to fix something, then got my SIL to invite her FAMILY out with a multi-family camping trip. After her H got drunk and passed out she pointed out his alcoholism and played all "whoa-is-me" damsel in distress and slithered in under "friend" status. By the time my SIL figured out what was going on, it was too late. This woman can't survive financially on her own, but instead of getting a room mate, divorcing her husband, and finding a nice single man, she keeps targeting married men to build up her self-esteem? Post-fog, my FWH shakes his head in disbelief that he was even capable of hurting me that way, and for such a wh0re.


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## Matos (Mar 25, 2016)

nursejackie said:


> I'm not sure if this applies to your situation exactly but it may help give insight-
> 
> We were together 12 years at the time (married 7) I had been telling H repeatedly how lonely and invisible I felt in the marriage. I had told him jokingly "if some guy even looked me in the eye while I talked to him I'd be ripe for an affair…he laughed.
> 
> ...


It's hard to say what fits my situation as the only words I have are from my WH and the OW (yes, I contacted her). So is it believable?

They both say they stopped talking about being together and were just talking about casual "how are you doing" stuff and stopped talking completely shortly after that. They were communicating frequently at first, then little by little they would take longer to respond, and eventually they both sort of just stopped pursuing. I'm guessing she finally had enough of the game and he says he was relieved when she stopped emailing him. 

This was all happening while we were about 5 sessions into therapy after he told me he wanted to leave. At that point, we seemed to be making progress on our relationship issues. I want to believe that him not trying to continue contacting her means that he made a (somewhat passive-aggressive) decision to let it go too. I want to believe that the progress we were making was helping him see that things could get better with us and we could stop failing at our relationship. 

But I also know he's a liar, considering that he had an affair.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

Bibi1031 said:


> Quite frankly very few times does the WS come back period. They leave because they truly believe, and may be right that they no longer love the betrayed spouse. If they get dumped by their AP, they simply go searching for another.
> 
> It's not that different from when you are in a relationship with someone and the decision is made to breakup. Once you break up, you go out and search for someone else.
> 
> Same here. That's why they are X boyfriends/girlfriends/lovers/ SO/ husband/wife etc. very few get back with an X period. You simply move on to another relationship that doesn't have baggage. A clean slate so to speak.


I believe this. :iagree:

When my XWW was dumped by her posOM, she just went on and began searching for the next adventure. I doubt my XWW will ever try to come back. For to do this would mean she would have to face the destruction that she left in her wake and actually do a whole lot of work on herself...a lot of slate cleaning. She is far to lazy commit to years of honesty, open communication and hard work. She, as most WS's, would rather take the easy road, filled with the romantic notions that their true soul-mate is still out there somewhere. For my XWW, attempting to come back would also be a public admission that she was wrong. She is way to narcissistic to ever admit failure. 

I also think it is normal that when most WW's to fall out of love and never return. It does seem that more WH's are willing to consider their BS's as plan B and attempt a come-back.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

bankshot1993 said:


> Personally, i would never settle for being someone's second choice, or their plan b. I have enough respect for myself that i couldn't spend the rest of my life with someone knowing that they were looking at me thinking they would rather have someone else.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree: with this...1000% This is one of the main reasons I would never take XWW back. I can't imagine being devoted to someone while they're pining over someone else.


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## WasDecimated (Mar 23, 2011)

IIJokerII said:


> Since I have a very good memory I was able to pinpoint in retrospect the times she was uncannily affectionate to the times when him and her weren't getting along. When he ignored her, she was highly loving, when they fought, she was highly loving...


This is interesting. 

I, like you, have a good memory. After D day, I remember thinking back to the days when she was cheating and wondering why, at times, my XWW was unusually affectionate/sexually aggressive towards me. This wasn't the scraps of normal duty sex I had grown accustom to begging for. This was the wild, passionate, crazy stuff. Sadly, this is probably similar to what OM was getting. 

XWW never did open up to much in terms of the truth but she did admit that she had never fought with anyone so much in her life as with OM. I'm guessing that they were fighting during those times.

This brings up a good question. Why would anyone continue to cheat with someone they were constantly fighting with?


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Decimated said:


> I believe this. :iagree:
> 
> When my XWW was dumped by her posOM, she just went on and began searching for the next adventure. I doubt my XWW will ever try to come back. For to do this would mean she would have to face the destruction that she left in her wake and actually do a whole lot of work on herself...a lot of slate cleaning. She is far to lazy commit to years of honesty, open communication and hard work. She, as most WS's, would rather take the easy road, filled with the romantic notions that their true soul-mate is still out there somewhere. For my XWW, attempting to come back would also be a public admission that she was wrong. She is way to narcissistic to ever admit failure.
> 
> I also think it is normal that when most WW's to fall out of love and never return. It does seem that more WH's are willing to consider their BS's as plan B and attempt a come-back.


:iagree:

This makes a lot of sense. 

My STBX told me many times he could not return to me because he was too humiliated and uncomfortable to face my family, specifically my siblings whom he knows hated him. 
Lame? Yep. 
Didn't really want me back bad enough? You bet!
No balls? For sure !!!


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Decimated said:


> :iagree: with this...1000% This is one of the main reasons I would never take XWW back. I can't imagine being devoted to someone while they're pining over someone else.


Nothing is worse than your cheating spouse returning for a (false) reconciliation when you know deep-down they are missing their affair partner. It hurts like hell !!!!!!!


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Once a WS leaves or gives the ILYBINILWY speech, the BS is NEVER plan A, NEVER. YOU ARE PLAN B or even worse, PLAN Z

Some people can forgive being made plan B because they have always put their WS on a pedestal and always will.

Some forgive because they still love the WS, no matter how much they have been harmed by the WS.

Some do it for faith.

Most do it for kids or financial reasons.


And to Decimated your quote

This brings up a good question. Why would anyone continue to cheat with someone they were constantly fighting with? 

If you're getting pouned like no other and it's bat *bleep* crazy sex, you keep going back even if their personality makes you want to bash their heads in at times.

And whenever you get the STUPID excuse that the sex wasn't even good HA. They got rocked and created a 20.0 earthquake. I went back for more only because I wanted to see if it could get better, if you bought that line, I've got prime real estate in AZ for you.


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

The thing is the current marriage can never compete with the affair high (even though it could never last) those memories of the hot times do. 

Hence, the marriage can never be the same after. 

So no matter what it's always plan B IMO.

Sorry but that's reality.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

> You simply move on to another relationship that doesn't have baggage.


Every, and I do mean, every person has baggage. There are none that do not. The two in the new relationship will only take time to figure out what baggage they have. There will always be baggage in each and every relationship because we bring it with us. 

It's all new baggage. It is likely the two won't be able to handle each other's baggage, and that's why they usually break up. They are both enjoying some fantasy, some fun, or both. If they were serious, they'd divorce, grow, and date while learning about each other. 

I only say this because I know I did have baggage before my first marriage and more before my second. I have even more baggage now. So, just living causes us to have baggage. 

The difference in my mind is, the spouse's baggage is, at least somewhat, a known quantity. There will always be things unknown in each. With a new person, there is no clean slate, just unknown baggage. The unknown can be more fearful than the known. 

It's the fog that causes WS's to think they are starting something with someone who has a clean slate or that they have a clean slate with. That's a misnomer. It's misunderstanding and delusional, just like what they believe an affair will do for them. Affairs create more baggage they do not free anyone. 

Well, that's what came to mind when I read that sentence.


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Bit torn here..

My youngest sons teacher told me he cried to her about our divorce. 
My middle brother who passed away years ago, had issues with my moms and dads divorce. I believe it was a part of alcoholism.

My Ex hasn't seen my oldest in 4+ years ATM..
I'm not going to lie that I don't know exactly what this will or will not do for you mentally.. 

I am a very open person and talk to my kids about everything. I always explain to my son he did nothing wrong and his mom is not talking to him purely out of shame. 

I not going to lie and say that this divorce hasn't caused some discord in our family and home because it really has. 

My ex wife beyond being the cheat selfish fvck she was at the end.. When she was here.. She was HERE... She was a woman that would punch someone in the face for me.. She wasn't the type of girl to stand there screaming as I caught a beating in a fight per say..
This is why my ex wife affair this time was such a major shock to me.

I don't want to say I would take my ex wife back, as I would rather hope I could find another woman to fill her shoes for my kids.. 
But if I had to take her back it would simply under the guise of living together and then filing for domestic partnership so she could have medical coverage. But I would never marry her again and I would still collect her child support. 

This way if she ever did anything again we would not have to file any papers and I could just kick her out. 

In the end I would win in this situation. 
1. I get my child support and her income added to mine, but she gets nothing from me.
2. My kids get their mom back and maybe it will fix something for them or prevent something from happening..
3. If she wants to be here she will work hard at keeping me happy. 
4. If she should cheat again all she will do is destroy any last hope she had with her kids.. So she will lose out yet again as they will see again what an utter piece of garbage their mom really is.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

@Hardtohandle, Why would you think about having her back? I know, the children. But, why, after all you have been through? I guess love, but I don't know. I guess loneliness, or the intimacy you don't feel you can have with someone else, but think or maybe did have with her? Even I don't think it would be a good idea for me to ever get back together with my second wife, even though I am having a tough time. Yes, I miss something. My life stopped and changed forever almost five years ago. Likely more, but that's how I guess I look at it. I'm confused, nevermind. I'm just messed up, I guess. For me, it's a combination of things that came together in her, that I don't see happening again. It's tough to believe it was all a lie. It's tough to believe someone is smart enough to be able to do all of that. It's tough to believe someone is that evil and not just weak combined with some serious issues that were rugswept over the years. Why would any of us want to go through that again? Why would any of us want to even take that chance? You know as well as I, if she came back, you'd be as vulnerable as you were, cause we can't help our feelings. Right? I don't even know why I typed all of that.


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## WhyMe66 (Mar 25, 2016)

Matos said:


> When a WS is dumped by their AP and then tries to reconcile with their BS, do they only do so because they no longer have a shot with their AP? Are they then on the look-out for a new AP?
> 
> I’m sure the answer would vary, considering individuals are different. But I’m thinking a lot of WS only decide to reconcile with their BS because of losing their AP.
> 
> ...


Well, my STBX WW got dumped by her AP and she is still proceeding with the divorce, so I have no idea. I am recovering enough that I still want her back but I am able to lean more towards "wish you well."


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Matos said:


> As the BS, does one ever truly know which one it is? Does the reason matter when it comes to reconciliation?


Yes, it does matter. If the wayward is coming back to the BS only because she was dumped, then its Plan B. Its not from remorse or guilt. Its because she had nowhere else to go.

Maybe the fog has lifted, but I think its more of a uphill battle with that.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Marc878 said:


> The thing is the current marriage can never compete with the affair high (even though it could never last) those memories of the hot times do.
> 
> Hence, the marriage can never be the same after.
> 
> ...


Thats why you take it up a notch, bring out the whips and chains. Go totally 50shades on her butt or something.

Talk about her (or his) darkest sexual fantasy and make them real.


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## TaDor (Dec 20, 2015)

Matos said:


> When a WS is dumped by their AP and then tries to reconcile with their BS, do they only do so because they no longer have a shot with their AP? Are they then on the look-out for a new AP?
> 
> I’d love to hear from anyone who has any insight, WS or BS.


My WW dumped the POSOM. She even publicly blasted him and admitted the affair to everyone. Then she filed a RO against him to drive the point home "Stay out of my life".

So yeah, that has helped in R.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

blueinbr said:


> I am totally guessing here and these are just my thoughts, but I would suspected that most cheaters do not expect to or want to leave their marriage. Otherwise, they would divorce and just move on. You can read here many stories of how the affair "just happened". Starts with talking/chatting, then flirting, then lunches, then maybe EA and eventually PA. Not same formula every time but you get the idea. Then, once the affair is exposed or ended by the AP, the cheater goes "Oh Sh!t" and wants to go home.


Some cheaters do want to leave their marriage, but they want to make sure that the branch they are jumping to is firm and willing to take their weight, so they hold on to the old branch as long as possible before they let go. The "tree monkey" scenario.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

With 70% of divorces filed by women, It seems like that men tend to be more willing to tough things out while women seem very willing to blow things up. 

Men understand that there isn't going to be any government programs to catch them if they fail or a court system to ensure they're financially ok or daddy enthusiastically there to take him back in. It will be all on them. Besides that, evolution has programmed men provide and protect. If they leave, they feel like failures and society treats them as such. 

So the great majority of men that cheat have no intention of leaving. They want the extra sex. Women on the other hand start out thinking that they don't want to leave but once that man enters her, she's replacing the husband in her heart. Look at the thousands of threads on LS OW section. Nothing but MW wishing their MM would break up their marriages so she could leave her husband. LS really is a window into a WW mindset. Every BH should spend sometime reading the threads before they decide to R with a wife that's had a sexual PA.

Bottom line, if it's a man, the great majority of times the wife is and always will be plan A. For women, LS threads tell me the husband is plan B. Not to mention what BH posters on TAM who try to R describe they're experiencing.


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## IIJokerII (Apr 7, 2014)

jsmart said:


> With 70% of divorces filed by women, It seems like that men tend to be more willing to tough things out while women seem very willing to blow things up.
> 
> Men understand that there isn't going to be any government programs to catch them if they fail or a court system to ensure they're financially ok or daddy enthusiastically there to take him back in. It will be all on them. Besides that, evolution has programmed men provide and protect. If they leave, they feel like failures and society treats them as such.
> 
> ...


 I wouldn't say that the blanket feel is to tough it out, but more so akin to "Cheaper to keep her".... 

It is a crappy way to feel about a relationship but it is so often the most logical choice for men in unhappy marriages. Women are able to blow things up due to the favorable outcomes in the courts and the sheer ease of collecting a partner, if they don't have one already prior to filing.

I know one thing from the things I have learned here from both sides of the gender fence... I will never ever be plan B again..


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> @Hardtohandle, Why would you think about having her back? I know, the children. But, why, after all you have been through? I guess love, but I don't know. I guess loneliness, or the intimacy you don't feel you can have with someone else, but think or maybe did have with her? Even I don't think it would be a good idea for me to ever get back together with my second wife, even though I am having a tough time. Yes, I miss something. My life stopped and changed forever almost five years ago. Likely more, but that's how I guess I look at it. I'm confused, nevermind. I'm just messed up, I guess. For me, it's a combination of things that came together in her, that I don't see happening again. It's tough to believe it was all a lie. It's tough to believe someone is smart enough to be able to do all of that. It's tough to believe someone is that evil and not just weak combined with some serious issues that were rugswept over the years. Why would any of us want to go through that again? Why would any of us want to even take that chance? You know as well as I, if she came back, you'd be as vulnerable as you were, cause we can't help our feelings. Right? I don't even know why I typed all of that.


Sorry to confuse you or others here..

I would NOT take my wife back.. 
I was just doing the what if..
I would rather be alone the rest of my life


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## pappygrecko (Mar 5, 2016)

What chemicals ??? you wanted the affair you searched for it ,you got it 
dont sugar coat it as if you were drugged
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sidney2718 (Nov 2, 2013)

IIJokerII said:


> I wouldn't say that the blanket feel is to tough it out, but more so akin to "Cheaper to keep her"....
> 
> It is a crappy way to feel about a relationship but it is so often the most logical choice for men in unhappy marriages. Women are able to blow things up due to the favorable outcomes in the courts and the sheer ease of collecting a partner, if they don't have one already prior to filing.
> 
> I know one thing from the things I have learned here from both sides of the gender fence... I will never ever be plan B again..


I think most feel that way. When you married, you were Plan A and now you've been demoted to Plan B by a person who doesn't even have the decency to file for divorce.


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## nursejackie (May 22, 2015)

pappygrecko said:


> What chemicals ??? you wanted the affair you searched for it ,you got it
> dont sugar coat it as if you were drugged
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Pappy- the decision to have an affair is solely on the WS's plate. I don't think anyone here is trying to say the chemicals made them be a POS to their spouse. A rise in Dopamine during the infatuation stage feels like a high. That part is not made up. However using that as an excuse for a WS's devastatingly bad behaviour isn't an option.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

Wolf1974 said:


> Agree with the plan b. That only becomes an option when the fantasy comes crashing down. I will say one thing my X had giant brass balls to even try coming back to me after what she did.


Did you take them back from her and sent her on her way?

Plan B has been talked to death, but yes when they have fallen in love with the AP, you are always plan B.

The FB and NSA sex are different, they still love the spouse but those people just cannot keep their zippers zipped or panties on. It's only about the deed with no emotions, those are the very cold and calculating cheaters. Very clinical, boom done, bye you don't exist anymore until the next time, if there is even a next time.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

That state about 70% of woman filing means she is dumping the faith loyal husband is bull. Not the number but the reason. Most women I know who file do so after repeated abuse or an unrepentant cheater, who just does not get why his wife won't share his home with the flavor of the month. 

As to a WS coming back after being dumped, spend everything you own or will own on a single week of lottery tickets. Much better odds.


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