# angry all of the time



## utopia (Oct 16, 2010)

Background info first!
I have been married for seven months. We have an 11 month old daughter. We have been together for five years and seven months... we are 21 and 22. (he is older by six months)

FONT="Arial NarrowAnyways,
Lately I have been super angry with him... SOmetimes I have a reason (usually it starts out as something stupid) but most times I am just angry for no reason. I seem to be mad and resentful towards him all of the time. 
Last week I lost my job so I am now staying home with our daughter while he goes to work. I go to school at night. He wants to go out with his friends after work to the bar and I just nod my head and let him go. All the while I am fuming inside. I dont know what to do.. I feel like even as i type this I am all over the place. He never offers to let me go out. I just bottle everything up and I have all these great conversations in my head, but I cant talk to him... I just get so angry and end up getting very defensive... can anyone offer any advice.. 
I just want to have a happy marriage,and life!!! [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Write down the conversations you have in your head. Then the next time you two are together, show that to him or read it to him. You have to talk to him. If you don't make him aware of how you feel, then he has no idea that he's making you angry. 

He also probably isn't aware that you want to go out. If you don't tell him, he's going to assume that you are fine with things are they are. Tell him you want to go out next Friday night or whatever, and see what his reaction is. If he says no or something, then maybe you have reason to be angry. But as long as you're keeping it all bottled up, it's really not his fault.


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## LeahKoenig (Nov 19, 2010)

Anger is an important emotion not to be dismissed. It is a call to action. There is a wonderful book called "The Dance of Anger" by Harriet Lerner - It is an easy read and I highly recommend any of her books. In this book she speaks to the idea that women in particular have been discouraged from taking responsibility for solving their own problems, determining their own choices and taking control of the quality and direction of their lives. We seem to hand over responsibility to others and then of course we get angry at these others for not filling us up emotionally or making our lives happy. On the other hand we tend to feel responsible for the running of the family life and the emotions of others. 

Phew, we put ourselves in quite a bind. I love the suggestion of a "truckersgirl" to write down your ideas. Get really clear about what you want and need then figure out who is responsible for giving that to you. You of course! When you sit down with your husband and share your needs clearly it will be easier for him to collaborate with you. He will not need to guess what you need to make yourself happy. He is not responsible for this but he gets a beautifully clear idea where he can support his wife. So early in your marriage you have a wonderful opportunity to change a pattern that is clearly not working for you. 

Go get that book and start taking control of your own happiness, take the power back!


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## richardhogg44 (Dec 13, 2010)

Angry all the time is not good in anything.Try to change your attitude. Make a good attitude, look thing in a mew way problems will be solved.


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