# Having trouble dealing with my husbands fetishes



## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

Hi I am having so many problems in my marriage, I am trying to make it better. Some background I'm 23 H is 28. We've had a very rocky marriage Med problems during pregnancy caused me to go from 110 to 200lbs. Now at 150 yay, H has confessed to me that he's always been into BDSM, Fisting world. We've been married 6 years. We've dealt with Infedelity him losing sexual attraction for me. I feel like our sex lives are a complete lie he always told me after sex he was satisfied (I am in no way Prude,I am aggressive enjoy trying new things and will do anything to please him) Then he tells me over the years anytime we had sex he would think about that other world. So I tried to bring fantasy into reality, but I feel he's starting to take it to the extreme. I was ok with the tying up, spanking ,collor, fisiting, uncomfrtable yes but it made him happy. I read on the internet and found that he wants me to be the submissive so I have been. But now I feel he's starting to bring our sex life into our everyday life, I'm okay if he's trying to iniate sex. Now I feel he expects me to be that way in everyday life, he treats me like an object, he never wants to have regular sex and I miss that. Now he wants to try anal fisting and to be honest 2 fingers hurt there and fisitng vaginally with both fists when 1 is incrediably uncomfortable to me. I miss him loving me instead of just calling me his toy. The only enjoyment i get out of this is watching him enjoy and telling me it was the best ever. I'm just wondering how far he's going to take this or if i'm ever going to feel good sexually again. any advice or anyone who has similar fetishes your input would be appreciated.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

To be honest I'm not really even into this, but for once he's looking at me like he looks at other girls and I see the want in his eyes, our whole marriage he has called me fat and ugly. I miss the love and tenderness, is it fair for me to give up sexual enjoyment so he can want to have sex with me? Sorry if the 1st post was a TMI i was just hoping a guy could give me input on this because I wondering if he enjoys regular sex at all or if we will ever enjoy sex together again.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Sex should be enjoyable to both parties. Sex, to me, isn't just sex. It's connecting to a person is the most intimate way. To show the love and respect that you have for one another. That's why I was never a fan of ONS. Two strangers going at it and grinding sex organs with no emotional attachment wasn't ever good sex with me. 

But, waiting and falling for a person, then finally share yourself physically with that person...BEST SEX EVER!! Most every time!

Sometimes, our S/O wants to do somethings that we may not be comfortable with. But, sometimes we do it occasionally because it's what they want. HOWEVER! If it's everytime without love or feelings. Then it's a very selfish act and demeaning. 

You need to have a serious talk.


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## Deepdivered (Dec 14, 2011)

I'm my opinion your husband is approaching sex as an activity for enjoyment. I do not see that this has love and intimacy in it. I would guess this is a way to release some emotional issues he has with women. I think its possible he was use or controlled by women etc and this is him having some sort of victory cuss now he is the one controlling a women. As fare as the bdsm.

OK honesty here about my self. Vaginal fishing faintest me. I think its interesting that it can be done. But would like to try it. But I think it will hurt my wife so there for I won't do it. When I was younger I had a porn addiction and that's where the idea came from. It's been 8 years now that I have not looked at it any more. It is true it win decensitises u and creates false ideas and about sex and love. 

Sex should be about connecting and shearing love and intimacy I think this behavior is robing you 2 of that connection.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

[OK honesty here about my self. Vaginal fishing faintest me. I think its interesting that it can be do.)

Thank you for your honesty what is it about it? My H states he likes it because it's completely owning me and in his words "taking whatever he wants to give me" is that close to your reasoning? and do you ever fantasize about doing while having sex with W? and if so is your wife the recieving partner or a fantasy girl?


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

I gotta say, your husband doesn't really sound like a Dom or into bsdm. He instead sounds like a cheating bully who has issues he is taking out on people when he has sex.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

ok, so H tells me he wants to place a toy on the end of a drill and see how many apples he can stick inside of me? Am i a complete joke or what? Do men really find this appealing?


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

If they do in no way am I judging Im just looking for some help with understanding, I've tried talking to my H about it and all he says is it is owning me.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

why1234 said:


> ok, so H tells me he wants to place a toy on the end of a drill and see how many apples he can stick inside of me? Am i a complete joke or what? Do men really find this appealing?


Wow, just wow. Personally if my H wanted something like that, coupled with all of the other things your H does, he would never ever touch me again. I'm sorry.


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## finebyme72 (Jul 12, 2011)

why1234 said:


> ok, so H tells me he wants to place a toy on the end of a drill and see how many apples he can stick inside of me? Am i a complete joke or what? Do men really find this appealing?


It's not whether men find that appealing (I don't but then many guys are not into voluptuous girls and I am) but whether you find it appealing. If you don't like it on any level, stop. It sounds like on one level you kind of enjoy it - so keep it there and don't let it get any farther than that. Communicate your limits to him. It's up to you too, you know. But him moving into darker and darker areas is a little scary (at least to me). Good luck!


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## Deepdivered (Dec 14, 2011)

why1234 said:


> [OK honesty here about my self. Vaginal fishing faintest me. I think its interesting that it can be do.)
> 
> Thank you for your honesty what is it about it? My H states he likes it because it's completely owning me and in his words "taking whatever he wants to give me" is that close to your reasoning? and do you ever fantasize about doing while having sex with W? and if so is your wife the recieving partner or a fantasy girl?


I had a typo there. I ment to say I think it's fascinating it can be done. 

No I have never done it to my wife. We kinda tried but it got to uncomfortable so it stopped there. For me i just finde it interesting that it's even possible and wondered how it would feel or if she would like it. It didn't work and got uncomfortable so it ended there I don't want to hurt her. 

But like i said sex is about love and connection. I have no desire to control my wife in bed. I want a living connection and that's what we have. No one is controlling the other we both are giving ourselves to the other. 

I would be Concerned about why your husband has a need to dominate you in your marrige not just in bed
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

Thanks for all the replies, just trying to do what I can to make him more sexually satisfied


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

IMO you are with the wrong person, unless you like this as well, which you stated you did not. 

He "owns" you alright, because you are doing whatever he wants to satisfy him, well what about you and how you feel? 

If this is something you clearly do not like and yes sounds extreme to me, then you need to figure out what you need to do.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

why1234 said:


> ok, so H tells me he wants to place a toy on the end of a drill and see how many apples he can stick inside of me? Am i a complete joke or what? Do men really find this appealing?


This is sad. You are not longer a human being to him, but just a object. A object that he wants to cram fruit up into. Wonder whats next? 

Back when I watched porn few years ago, I came across a video of this very thing. I wonder if this is where he got his idea. It was that video that made me not really watch porn much anymore anyway. 

He video a woman sitting in a chair, legs spread wide, he had crammed a orange up in side her with his hand. He then watched her push it out like she was pushing a baby's head out. She looked very worn in the face and almost drugged, I think she was. My guess he may have drugged her to do what she was doing, because sober I doubt she would have. She looked like she didn't even know where she was. 

He would get mad at her and cuss her when she wouldn't push the fruit out like he said. When she finally did, he would clap and and say, "lets do it again!"

Is this how you want to live your life possibly? He has some issues IMO.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

There are several MAJOR issues here:

1) The way your husband has treated you (separate from sex) has been HORRIBLE. He calls you fat and ugly. This alone is grounds for divorce.
2) He cheated on you and sounds like he has no remorse.
3) He seems to have an abusive, sadistic need to control and humiliate you. 

You got married at 17. This is WAY too young. You seemed to be focused on trying to please him instead of trying to get away from this a$$hat. This tells me that you have very, very low self esteem and think you don't deserve better. But you DO deserve better.

A man who loves his wife does not ask her to do painful, humiliating, potentially dangerous sex acts for only his pleasure. It has to be a MUTUAL desire and with true sub/dom relationships, there is trust and love. You have NEITHER of those things in your marriage.

My heart is breaking for you. Please, please, please go get some therapy so you can be strong enough to get away from this abusive person. He is not looking out for your best interests. You need help from someone who can show you that your relationship is harmful to you and that you deserve more.


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

He's going to keep on pushing the envelope until you stop him, and even then maybe.....

You need to get some self respect and stop allowing this. It's ok to push the envelope a little.... for your partners enjoyment.... maybe trying anal, or deep throating.... or letting him cu? on your face or something if that's his thing..... but he's going WAY beyond anything you enjoy at all - from what your saying.

Sex is intimacy between two people. Everything you do should be fun and enjoyable and not make you overly uncomfortable or sad. You should either get direct enjoyment out of it or enjoyment from his enjoyment -but this is way past that. 

I would say it's not normal, not right, not fair, and you should really reavulate this.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

Thank you for all of your posts I thought I was the one going crazy, I guess he's gone crazy I don't think I can keep doing this, I'm going to contact an attorney. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared, I just can't do this the rest of my life. I hope there is someone out there who will eventually love me for me, no gimmicks just because they enjoy being with me.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

I was reading Eagleclaws comment and I too used to think those were kinky things, I used to get excited about sex and enjoyed being a little freaky I didn't even mind the handcuffing at first but then it went way out in left field. I've just felt like if I didn't do these things, he would find someone who would. But honestly stating the reason people in porn do these things is because they are getting paid. I highly doubt most of them enjoy it.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

why1234 said:


> Thanks for all the replies, just trying to do what I can to make him more sexually satisfied


Why is it that you have to do all these things to keep him satisfied? Why isn't he willing to do (or not do) things to keep you satisfied? There needs to be mutuality in your relationship.

Unless this is all done with absolute mutual consent, trust, and willingness, then it should be a no go. If you feel these things are disrespectful, hurtful (physically and/or emotionally), and you do not want to be someone's object, then woman up.

You will need to find your backbone where it's laying on the floor (down there with your self-respect), stiffen it, and start setting some boundaries. Stand up for yourself and what you want. YOU and YOUR desires are important too! 

Best wishes.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

why1234 said:


> ok, so H tells me he wants to place a toy on the end of a drill and see how many apples he can stick inside of me? Am i a complete joke or what? Do men really find this appealing?


Troll?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Um. . .well. . .whether this is real or not, or trolling. . .personally I think a little variety is okay, but not every sexual encounter should be a freak-fest.

Maybe it's okay to extend roleplaying for a month or something. . .but after awhile pretend time is over, ya know?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

He's abusive and enjoys it.

Sick.

Get out.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

Well last night we had sex and he started slapping me in the face while in act saying you know that's how you like it B*. Then he started fisting me really hard with no lube on his hand, I made an excuse and stopped, he just went in the living room and finished himself. I told him I was thinking about contacting an attorney and he informed me how much it cost. WTF?


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

My H has lost his mind, I would rather go back to no sex than this.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

listen you sound like a reasonable girl to me. Is this want you want out of your marriage?

time to move on he will never change, let me say that again he WILL NEVER CHANGE.

you have some self esteem issues but just from what you have said on here I think you will find a guy that respects you and loves you the way you need.

regards and good luck.


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## eagleclaw (Sep 20, 2010)

I would never even think of doing this to my wife. In fact it hurts me to think of anyone enduring this. Hell, I wouldn't get off doing this to someone I hated!!!!!


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

why1234 said:


> Well last night we had sex and he started slapping me in the face while in act saying you know that's how you like it B*. Then he started fisting me really hard with no lube on his hand, I made an excuse and stopped, he just went in the living room and finished himself. I told him I was thinking about contacting an attorney and he informed me how much it cost. WTF?


There is no way I would ever allow anyone to put cuffs on me or tie me up. Not even my husband. I have a fear of not being able to protect myself if needed. 

Your husband is not slapping you, he want to introduce a DRILL as a sex toy, he wants to not only fist you vaginally but anally and put objects like fruit in you? 

Oh no... I would never allow any man to do any of those things to me... NEVER!!!

Your husband is escalating. It would take a lot of counseling and hard work from him for him to go back to anything approaching normal.
What did he tell you that a divorce would cost? What was that all about?


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

why1234 said:


> I told him I was thinking about contacting an attorney and he informed me how much it cost. WTF?


That's when you say "so, I'd pay any amount of money to get away from your sorry a$$". 

I'm with MissEmma, because I'm not even sure why you continue trying to have sex with this so called man. It would have come to a screeching halt for me a long time ago. This man doesn't deserve anything else sexually from you as his wife until he gets his head out of his own a$$, so I'm not quite sure why you keep putting yourself out there as his toy when clearly your H is continuing to hurt you more. WHY are you letting him continue to treat you like that??? It's your body, take it back NOW, show yourself some respect. (unless of course you secretly enjoy being degraded EVERY time you sleep with this man)

Don't tell him your contacting an attorney, just do it and tell that attorney everything you are telling us, often times they will take a retainer ($1500 or so) and then go after the spouse for the balance when that spouse is AT FAULT for the demise of the marriage, which in my opinion he is beyond fault!!!


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

My heart is breaking for you. Please leave him. 
No matter what he says or does, you deserve so much better. 
He doesn't respect you nor does he wish to make you happy.

You are a strong woman. Don't put up with his bullying and humiliation. Keep us updated.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

It's weird because everytime I talk to him and I say you know I don't really enjoy it when you do this or could you try being a little gentler, he acts all loving and apologizes and he'll start off like I ask and then I think maybe he justs gets way to into it, I miss the sex we used to have that he claims wasn't what he wanted, that he visualized this. But he seemed to have no problem getting off, I miss making love.


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

Classic abuse cycle. 

Guy and girl meet. Guy is charming. Girl falls in love. They marry. 
Guy punches girl in the face. She cries. He buys her flowers and promises to change.
Next week, he puts her in the hospital. She calls the cops. He gets charged. She drops the charges because she believes he'll change.

And it keeps going and going and going....


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

In case your wondering a part of me does enjoy it, not because of the acts themselves but because of how he looks at me like he wants me, he used to only look at other women like that, but the look isn't enough anymore, I could handle it and induldge him if it was maybe once a month and was like a treat for him instead of being the only sex we have (also if he cut out all the extreme). He admitted he enjoys hurting me??? He says its hot knowing that he's making me so sore and gaping that I won't want to be touched for a month. He's only been getting worse and pushing it to the limits for a couple of weeks now, I just figured he would want to tie me up and play a little dirty, not go this far.


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## speakingforsomemen (Dec 12, 2011)

Home Depot is having a sale this weekend, drills, bits, stop at Piggly Wioggly on the way home for apples, whew what a night of fun. Come on, this cannot be real. How in the world are you putting up witrh this? Really, step back, take a breath and look at what you wrote.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

EDIT: I don't enjoy it sexually but through out the day he sweetly grabs my bottom or nibbles on my ear, kisses me constantly, looks at me like he desires me and wants to actually do things together and spend time together which he has never really done. He didn't start any of that until I started induldging him, I was ok with dressing up like a catholic school girl and maid, just NORMAL kinky stuff, has everything just gotten boring or has this always been underneath the surface, I just got a txt from him saying please don't leave me, i thought you were screwing around when you said that. Maybe he has multiple personalties???


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

why1234 said:


> In case your wondering a part of me does enjoy it, not because of the acts themselves but because of how he looks at me like he wants me, he used to only look at other women like that, but the look isn't enough anymore, I could handle it and induldge him if it was maybe once a month and was like a treat for him instead of being the only sex we have (also if he cut out all the extreme). He admitted he enjoys hurting me??? He says its hot knowing that he's making me so sore and gaping that I won't want to be touched for a month. He's only been getting worse and pushing it to the limits for a couple of weeks now, I just figured he would want to tie me up and play a little dirty, not go this far.


You said you missed making love. This isn't love. It's abuse.

Do you really enjoy being the subject of his torture and humiliation fantasies? 
Do you enjoy being treated like an object to abuse at his will? 

Think about this: *He wants to use an effing power tool inside of you!!! *

How far is too far for you? Do you really have no boundaries? 
Does it make you feel good to know that he doesn't respect you?


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

I feel like banging my head up against a wall, this cant be my marriage, this can't be my life, did aliens abduct my husband,I know what I wrote how do you think i'm feeling about all this and YES IT IS FOR REAL, I can't even believe it. I was reading about porn addiction and how it crosses the line and warps the mind into thinking that's the way it;s supposed to be, women really do enjoy that c'mon they get paid to pretend. I wondering if all those years of porn when he wasn't sexually attracted to me warped his brain into being a sich F*


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

It's only been happening for 2 or 3 weeks now, it's like I woke up and H was a diffrent person. How did me agree to normal kinkiness turn into this? I try and talk to him, but it goes in one ear and out the other, he used to be normal in bed and a jerk in our marriage now he's sweet and loving in our marriage and a jerk in bed. Can't there be a happy medium?


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

why1234 said:


> It's only been happening for 2 or 3 weeks now, it's like I woke up and H was a diffrent person. How did me agree to normal kinkiness turn into this? I try and talk to him, but it goes in one ear and out the other, he used to be normal in bed and a jerk in our marriage now he's sweet and loving in our marriage and a jerk in bed. Can't there be a happy medium?


Married only 2 or 3 weeks? He manipulated you. Did you date for a long time? How well do you really know him?

Get out now before you have kids with him. It will become significantly harder if that happens. Just get an annulment and move on.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

why1234 - Why do you continue to have sex with him under those terms? Because he thinks it's hot to see you in excruciating pain? Do you have daughters? My H has abused me and I ask him point blank how would he feel if a man did that to his daughter? 

You are not listening to any advice on these boards, you're still having sex with him, your still saying you enjoy it to a degree, but yet you come here to complain, for what exactly? If it's to vent, fine, but if your not even addressing your concerns directly with your H, and laying it on the line, and making concrete plans to make this stop, what good does it do? 

Of course the validity of your posts are going to be questioned, because for me anyway, it's so far fetched that the amount of abuse you are enduring, allowing to continue, is just mind boggling. It really is. 

Oh and the way he looks at you is being misconstrued by you. It's not desire, he's most likely thinking what other disgusting thing he can try with you.... You have shown him that you are game for ANYTHING.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

edit I guess maybe i'm missunderstood, HE just started acting this way!!!!! For the two week it was normal kinky stuff with costumes and normal toys you buy at normal adult shops. For the last week it's been him shopping online at extreme insertions and extreme BDSM play. He's just started hurting me last night, and acting like a sick F*. I just don't understand where all this is coming from.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

We have been married for 6 years he's only been being NORMAL KINKY FOR TWO WEEKS and for the LAST WEEK IT'S been F* up. For the rest of our marriage it's been normal sex, about the kinkiest it got was him handcuffing me to the bed post or having me give him a lap dance. Just Normal, Now it's Crazy!!!


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

If you are telling the truth, then he's been planning this for a long time.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

Okay why would I LIE????? Why on earth would anyone put up with this if they did not love their spouse and it had just begun, I've threatned divorce if he can't keep his sick a** in check, he says that's not what he wants. I figured when the sick crap started maybe it would be one time and he would figure out that he didn't like it and get it out of his system, not a whole week of it with him going further and further into left field.


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## why1234 (Dec 14, 2011)

I don't want to lose my husband, MY HUSBAND, I have no idea who this person is.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

why1234 said:


> Okay why would I LIE????? Why on earth would anyone put up with this if they did not love their spouse and it had just begun, I've threatned divorce if he can't keep his sick a** in check, he says that's not what he wants. I figured when the sick crap started maybe it would be one time and he would figure out that he didn't like it and get it out of his system, not a whole week of it with him going further and further into left field.


YOU ARE LETTING HIM DO IT. What part of that don't you understand? YOU have the power to stop it. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM, JUST STOP NOW. Will he go fulfill his sick ass fantasies elsewhere? Perhaps, but so what at this point? He doesn't respect YOU at all. If my husband wanted to shove a drill up my *****, I would ask him to bend the **** over, if he wanted to put fruit in my *****, I would ask him to bend over again, if he slapped me and called me his ***** or whatever I would stop right then and get the hell out of that bed. TELL him you will not have sex with him again until she stops that **** and MEAN IT. 

AM I THE ONE MISSING SOMETHING HERE?


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

why1234 said:


> I don't want to lose my husband, MY HUSBAND, I have no idea who this person is.


Sounds like you've already lost him - assuming that things were better before...


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## The_Swan (Nov 20, 2011)

I didn't mean to sound accusatory but this is hard to believe and very sad.

Just leave him. 
He doesn't believe you when you say you are going to divorce him because you are still there letting him do these things to you.

Just leave him and don't look back. 
He's been slowly building into this and planning things for a long time. He is not who you thought he was.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

You mention your weight problem in your very first post on this thread. Is this the real reason you are tolerating this behavior? Do you feel that low about yourself? I don't know just throwing ideas out there. Well whatever it is, I do hope you find the strength to do what is right. Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

why1234,

It's obvious that your husband is finally letting you see his who and what he truly is or has become. All this time he has been hiding this from you. Chew on that for a while. After 2-3 weeks of you allowing him to be how he is… do you like what you see.

What exactly does your husband intend to do with a drill and apples? I still don’t get this. My mind goes to some places that are, well quite horrific. He likes to make you hurt.. to see you in pain? 

So he ties you up to the bed so that you cannot defend yourself. 

Then he brings out the drill? What with an apple attached to a drill bit? Get the hell away from him. This little trick could end up seriously maiming you or killing you. 

Just think on that for a while, like the fear run through your veins and let it be the strength you need to get out of there. You are not married to the man you thought you married.

I don’t know what kind of porn he’s been watching but can only imagine.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

tell him its your turn and you want to shove your fist up his ass. He will say no then tell him now you know why Im not doing this anymore. Really girl...you gotta get away before this guy really hurts you. He is dangerous!


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## sharkeey (Apr 27, 2012)

why1234 said:


> ok, so H tells me he wants to place a toy on the end of a drill and see how many apples he can stick inside of me? Am i a complete joke or what? Do men really find this appealing?


I don't really see the allure to it myself.

And I'm a rather creative and adventerous person especially when it comes to sex.

You put up with a lot from your husband.

If he whips out a chop saw it's time to head for the door.


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## [email protected] (Sep 27, 2012)

why1234 said:


> ok, so H tells me he wants to place a toy on the end of a drill and see how many apples he can stick inside of me? Am i a complete joke or what? Do men really find this appealing?


I'm really sorry to see all your posts..But as a guy the only thing that i do my wife that is not acceptable (In some ways) is having Anal.But i never initiate it without her consent. I guess your hubby needs some serious attention. If you're not in to BDSM he can't be treating or expecting you to become someone that he has seen in the movies or internet.There should be some level of respect for each others feelings so talk with ya hubby before its too late.Since you have already let him do some acts i don't think he will be able to easily erase all the feelings from his mind.But being fetish & not having a control might lead into problems later on.

My advice:

Either you do it if you can bare it. or you can talk to him & have some boundaries without making you an experimental object of his fantasies


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

If he comes home with a watermelon, RUN.


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## SacredSex (Sep 19, 2011)

If what you have written here is true, not exaggerated and not omitting your true part in it then this isn't a marriage anyone should tolerate, or remain in. There is no fixing it. It is quicksand and you need to get out of it while you can.

This guy is worthless. The sweet way in which he treats you during the day is not genuine. It is merely part of his manipulation. To keep you doing what he wants to do. He is destroying your self esteem in an effort to make you feel helpless, that you are worth nothing and are lucky that he allows you to be with him at all. That no one else will ever love you. He is trying to beat you down, so you will offer no resistance, nothing but compliance out of you. If you aren't enjoying this now just wait till that day comes. He'll be inviting all his online BDSM buddies over to show off the product of his skilled training. Order you to please them as you would him. It's a power thing it has nothing to do with love, or marriage, or intimacy. He doesn't love you and never did. That's difficult to accept but it is who you've described here.

It's always difficult to leave something for nothing, but this something isn't worth having and it will eventually rob you of everything you have, possibly your life. You're married to a sociopath. I would get the hell away from him as fast as I could if I were you.


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## Pepper123 (Nov 27, 2012)

Putting my money on troll...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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