# Don't know what to do about this "relationship" anymore



## SnowNight9 (Oct 11, 2011)

I really don’t know what to say. I’ve never feel so lost and confused.
Few hours ago, Jack, whom I’ve been seeing for nearly a year got a call from the sheriff because they need someone very experience in diving to go do an emergency rescue at the sea.
It was one of the most horrible things I have to witness ever since I first met Jack. If you look up “adventure” in dictionary, you’ll find his picture. He basically live for adventure and adrenaline rush to extreme. 
He work only part time, live in a tiny bare room, and spend money on toys such as rock climbing equipment, scuba gears, kayak, parachute backpack and other things. He also change job very frequently. 
Because of all of this, when I first met him, I thought I’d just have fun with him for a bit then move on and forget all about him. But he was just so much fun and we live in a small city, so there wasn’t too many option. I keep go back to hang out with him.

After a while, we eventually start to spend times at each other place. That’s when it gets hard. I thought since I’ll be done with my contract by upcoming March then I can move out and we’ll have no choice, but go our own separate path. 

I have been married twice, am in late 30’s and good looking for my age, have a very successful career and make six digits a year (because of location so far, but when I get back to where I’m from, it will go down considerably) So I have always been with man who are also very successful, closer to my age range, and serious about his career.
Jack… He’s in late 20’s and doesn’t really seems to have a solid career goal in his mind but is a very responsible person with numerous qualities that I really admire and wish more people would have. He’s also one of the sweetest and loving man I have ever met. 

He has been here for last few days to take care of me because I have been pretty sick. Over four days, I couldn’t see him having total of more than maybe 10 hours of sleep and he remain active whole time either with his job as linesman, taking care of me, some side jobs, and some sports here and there.
He was here today when he got the call. I could immediately tell it was a bad news. I have never seen Jack reacted like this. He looked really scared and goosebumps appeared on him and he just look like as if he’s staring into death’s face the whole time. For first time ever, I asked him to not take a chance with his life and told him I love him.
He end up say he love me too but those people need to be saved and left.

I have been on verge of crying ever since. I guess I just realized how much I really care about him and am really worried. But at the same time, I don’t even know what to do now. I am so torn between deciding if I want to have him in my life for good with full awareness of the fact he’d never be a career man and will probably always basically a big kid who treat me so wonderful or if I should just end this whole thing and move on.


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## charlene (Jul 21, 2011)

SnowNight9 said:


> I am so torn between deciding if I want to have him in my life for good with full awareness of the fact he’d never be a career man and will probably always basically a big kid who treat me so wonderful or if I should just end this whole thing and move on.


Yes, make that decision. You have to figure out if you want that adrenaline in your life, cause as i see it he won''t change this about himself.


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## SnowNight9 (Oct 11, 2011)

charlene said:


> Yes, make that decision. You have to figure out if you want that adrenaline in your life, cause as i see it he won''t change this about himself.


Can it work out at all? I mean I'll basically be the one who will be supporting him and working while he work just enough to get by or to continue his life style?
I have always wanted a man who I can look at as a life partner. I don’t care if he make less than me as long as he is serious about his career and trying to get somewhere in life. Jack isn’t like that. He’s the type that would figure out how much he need to make for the week and get it out of the way then it is all play time for him.
I do really envy Jack for being able to do that and that’s what I really like about him. I have had so much fun with him and got to do so many things I’d have never tried or experienced if it wasn’t for him. But when it comes to being a responsible adult, I hate to say this but he’s worthless.

On other hand, in my two previous marriages I was married to a career oriented man. I think part of the reason it doesn’t work out with either is because we were always so busy that when we were home, neither of us really enjoy being around each other. They would complain about everything, want to be left alone to zone out in front of the tv, doesn’t want to exercise (one of them end up obese over years!) and whenever they were off, neither want to do anything besides staying home.
Jack is nothing like that. He never complain about anything, doesn’t really care for tv, is quite pleasant to be around and always want to do something even after sleeping for only a few hours, work, going out to have fun on his own before dropping by at evening.
In fact in nearly a year I have knew him, today was first time he told me he’s too tired to do anything. That was after being on go for five days with almost no sleep then doing a rescue diving last night.

With all of this, here’s how I picture it if I decide to let him in my life, I’d basically be pretty much the one who bring the bacon home, pay the bills, and other things. Jack on other hand will just work part time for his own money, be living with me, run off to do whatever he wants to, take care of the house which he is good about, and I know I’d never have to worry about cooking again ever.
I have never heard of life arranged like that and would feel weird to ask him to help pay with mortgage. The only thing I could see him really helping with contribute financially is paying bills.
Have anyone ever heard of a couple with two very different lifestyles living together over long term successfully?


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## charlene (Jul 21, 2011)

My husband''s bestman and my bridesmaid are like that/they are a couple/. I mean he''s like your Jack and she''s just along for the ride. He''s making, i guess, a little more money than Jack, but basicaly he doesn''t want to pressure himself into working too hard.
She''s always complaining from other stuff in the relationship,but never of the thing that you discribe,that are bothering you. She likes this about him a lot, loves him and they are living together. Personally i couldn''t take it but that''s me...
If you like his lifestyle and you''re willing to try for a little more ,do it. If you don''t want to waste anymore time ,trying to figure it out ,then leave. It''s all up to you, there''s no right choice


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

He's a good fling. If you're still seeing him in 5 years, go ahead and get serious.


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