# My husband had an affair not sure if I can survive it



## Lola416 (Apr 25, 2015)

So he claims it was the Start of an affair but never got to the sex part yet. He said it’s been just about 2 months. I caught him read all his messages It didn’t sound like sex happened yet but it was definitely going in that direction. He finally admitted he screwed up blames it on a lot of issues he has with various things including the fact he thought I lost interest in myself and him that I am only a “soccer mom” that doesn’t really show any sex appeal anymore. I believe there was some truth to what he said but I’m not sure I can ever trust him. Has anyone ever had any success in this area? We’ve been married 18 years with 2 kids


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## Smooth1981 (May 10, 2018)

If that was the case he should have been a man and communicated those issues with you instead of seeking something else. Don’t take blame for what he did...trust me, my wife did the same thing to me and I blamed myself for the longest but it’s not your fault for his selfishness. Focus on you! That’s all you have control over and do a 180


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

Do NOT let him place any blame on YOU for an EA or PA. HE is 100% to blame for this. Yes, you may have issues in your marriage, but none of that justifies him having an affair. Yes, people do get past this (there are many stories here about R), but HE needs to take responsibility for this, and needs to do a TON of work to prove to you he is remorseful. Right now, from what you said, he is just blameshifting that YOU drove him to do this. BS.


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## ABHale (Jan 3, 2016)

The EA is on him alone. If it never went anywhere beyond that you should be able to work it out, if that is what you want. 

If he means that you put all your energy into the kids then you need to remember something. Your kids will be gone off to college and starting families is their own. If you neglecte your relationship with your husband now, there won’t be one then. My wife is finding this out now when it to late. All the damage is done. We have no relationship anymore.


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