# So devasted, my wife pregnant by another man



## devastatedheart (Jul 22, 2009)

Hi,

I moved out of the house in March this year after having lots of arguments and fights with my wife. We had been fighting for a long time and the relationship had been in clear deterioration. At that point, I thought the divorce was the clear and inevitable step. I have two daughters, one is 9 years old and another who is just 12 months old. I used to see my daughters over the weekend. Now time passed by and I did not hear anything about a divorce process, and now at the beginning of July, I heard from my wife that she was pregnant from another man. This man does not live in the country because he works abroad. He is due to come in December this year. She is around two months pregnant. Soon, her pregancy will be noticeable. My older daughter will start to ask questions, my family will, too. 
I still had a small hope to return with my wife and reunite the family. At the time I left, the little baby was just 8 months. What can I do now? I am completely devastated and I feel guilty for all the lack of attention my wife tells me she experienced for almost 10 years we were together. Any advice please I will appreciate. This is so difficult to me. I dont want to hurt my daughters because of a long and painful divorce process. I am thinking the divorce is inevitable.
I dont know what steps to take now. 

Please help...


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

Well, what are you pondering? What options have you?


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

Something doesn't sound right. She left you because you didn't give her any attention, so instead she gets pregnant by a guy who doesn't even work in the country??? Sounds like she may be making excuses for her own actions.


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

I'm not sure what your options are...stay married to a your wife or get divorced. In this situation, I would divorce and make a clean break. Since she is pregnant with other, your kids will be confused. 

I just can't see any options, if she is with another and pregnant by him.


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## goatz (Jul 21, 2009)

I would bail. She won't have any ground in court if you wanted to be vindictive.


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## Sandy55 (Jun 3, 2009)

I'd file for custody of the nine year old daughter as your stbx wife's life isn't where I'd want my nine year old to be, _especially_ with a mother that has done what she has done. What a great role model her mother is.

I am _assuming_ your stbx is going to keep this child? 

Hire a guardian ad litem for your nine year old and file for divorce is what I would do. Your nine year old has been through enough rough life as it is. 

This new illegit baby on the way is going to be a reminder forever. If you can take the abuse of it all, take wife back and try to put it all together, but then you have the OTHER guy who is going to throw a wrench into your life, forever.

If you live in Texas, boy do you have it made. Texas isn't big on cheating spouses...


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## devastatedheart (Jul 22, 2009)

Thank your for sincere message. It is true. All you said is true. My nine year old has been through a lot of difficult times. I wonder that if I fight for custody and win, she will be missing her mother a lot and then I will worsen her life. The little one, who is just 1 year old, I am not sure either. My work schedule is so difficult because I do 2 hours commute trip every day back and forth. However I recognize that I will not be able to live with a reminder of such a betrayal for ever. I feel so confused. 
I don't know exactly what I should be doing now.

Thanks for all the comments


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## Corpuswife (Apr 24, 2009)

First of all, if you file for divorce than you can have it in your divorce decree the limitation to where your children can be moved away from you. For instance, a friend of my child cannot be moved out of the city without a judges approval. 

There is no way, that I would allow my spouse to take away my kids to another country when she has made bad choices all along. Protect those children first!


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