# In-Laws (sorta) Trouble



## Leveret (Mar 8, 2013)

So let's start at the beginning... My husband and I (and our 2 year old daughter) live with my husband's father, brother and his brother's gf (her daughter) and their 3 month old son. And sometimes my sister-in-law druggie who comes home once every few months for a week at a time.

Now, a little over a year ago, brother(in-law) Paul met a girl, Candy. Within a week of dating, she moved in. Within the first month they were pregnant. We later found out they were TRYING to get pregnant, heaven knows why... Anyway. So at first it was awkward since we didn't know her at all and she had a 1 1/2 year old daughter who moved in with her. I spent a lot of time trying to build a friendly relationship with her because... well she was pregnant with my brother in law's kid and she was living with us, might as well, right?

She was a sporatic, chatty girl who literally dyed her hair a different shade every two weeks, and me being a down to earth, never wear make-up happy-homemaker type, we had little in common. Still I put in the effort. Well it so happened a friend of ours knew her from two months before we met her. She was staying with another male friend and apparently 'sleeping in his bed', so we came to the conclusion that she had been dating said other man before getting with Paul. That's fine, whatever. But she started to show very early with her pregnancy and she looked 4 months pregnant at least by the time she was only 1 1/2 months along. We got concerned for Paul because it was possible she WAS pregnant before they met and she just hadn't told Paul.

So we mentioned what our friend had said to James, my father-in-law, who then went and told everyone (since he's a terrible gossiper...). For a while I felt bad that I had said anything at all, given after Candy found out she turned into a screaming monster in the house and my father in law pegged all of the rumors and bad juju on me. She was so upset by the accusation that she was planning to move out. Oh I should have let her...

But I felt bad, like I said. I took her aside a few days later and told her how sorry I was and that we had only been concerned with Paul's wellbeing. We didn't know her very well and it was also my fault for not coming to her directly, it's just.. hard to bring up with something directly, ya know? Well she forgave me and we went back to 'getting along' for a while...

However things haven't been okay in the house since. I don't think it would have mattered if I had said about the possibility of the baby not being Paul's because that woman is insane. It's been a year since that fiasco and since then she has twisted Paul around her little finger and manipulated him into doing or thinking anything she wants. She HATES everyone in this house, yet she won't move out. She threatens us (everyone), screams at us, breaks things, even has Paul doing the same. In addition to this, they are SLOBS. Both Paul and Candy live in utter filth in their rooms and leave horrible messes everywhere they go.

I'm at a loss of how to deal with what my household has become. James won't kick them out, though he'd threatened it many times because he's spineless. He has taken to believing the pure vicious lies Candy spreads about everyone else, even accusing me of being a liar and worse to my face. I'm not the type of person who screams or throws tantrums, but I've been brought to that state more than once now because of her. 

I really hate her. She's causing me so much stress it's starting to affect my marriage. It wouldn't be so bad if one of our families could move out, but my husband is a full-time college student and cannot take on a job outside of that and working with my father-in-laws home business (which pays for our rent and utilities). They won't leave because she likes to freeload and spend a ****-ton of money on useless things for herself.

My husband and I are convinced that she has a form of narcissistic delusional psychosis and needs actual help. In the meantime, I'm brought to tears by her antics and ready to move back into my own father's house to escape it (which would be impossible for my marriage as my father won't let me and my daughter AND my husband move in, just me and my daughter... and he even likes my husband, he's just weird like that). I keep hoping they will move, but I don't see an end in sight.

I've tried a dozen times to fix the issues between she and my family. I've endured ridicule and abuse just to make her happy until I can't take it anymore and she crosses one too many lines. I'm so forgiving as a person, I end up just brushing aside what she did/said last time for the sake of peace in the house until it starts all over again. =/ I don't think I can even repeat everything that's been done or said (like Paul pissing into my shampoo bottle or Candy throwing their bathroom trash all over the front of my bedroom door because I didn't change HER bathroom garbage.. the one I never use). Ugh...

How do you deal with people who insult you when you walk by? How many times do you turn the other cheek? What do you do when you're stuck? =[ I'm so sad.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

YOU make a plan to get out of there. 

Get a full time job. Move your family to a crappy apartment and be awesomely happy and dirt poor. Some of the best times are when you have nothing but each other. 

If you don't like how your life is going, figure out what to do to change it. If you stay there, then you are accepting this. Your choice.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Living in a multi generational household with an extended family is always going to have its down sides (and some advantages) and if it is truly making you unhappy / damaging your relationship with your husband then you should look to move out and get a place of your own.

In the meantime the householder (I presume your FIL) needs to lay down some ground rules so that everyone knows where they stand.


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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

Yea, I'd say get out of there asap and be happier for it.

Your BIL should have known better than to mess with a girl named Candy who dies her hair every couple of weeks. Just screams crazy.


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