# How to keep your wife happy



## StarTrekFan (Aug 15, 2012)

How to keep a wife happy . . . .

It's really not difficult to make a wife happy. 
A husband only needs to be:

1. a friend 
2. a companion 
3. a lover 
4. a brother 
5. a father 
6. a man 
7. a chef 
8. an electrician 
9. a carpenter 
10. a plumber 
11. a mechanic 
12. a decorator 
13. a stylist 
15. a gynecologist 
16. a psychologist 
17. a bug exterminator
18. a psychiatrist 
19. a healer 
20. a good listener 
21. an organizer 
22. a good father 
23. Very clean 
24. Sympathetic 
25. Athletic 
26. Warm 
27. Attentive 
28. Gallant 
29. Intelligent 
30. Funny 
31. Creative 
32. Tender 
33. Strong 
34. Understanding 
35. Tolerant 
36. Prudent 
37. Ambitious 
38. Capable 
39. Courageous 
40. Determined 
41. True 
42. Dependable 
43. Passionate 
44. Compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. Give her compliments frequently
46. Love shopping 
47. Be honest 
48. Be very rich 
49. Never stress her 
50. Never look at other women!

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space
54. Never to forget birthdays,anniversaries any arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A HUSBAND HAPPY

Just leave him alone....... And he'll be Happy !!!


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

Ermmmm... I take it a woman has upset you then??.


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## skype (Sep 25, 2013)

Stop being a Nice Guy and take action to enforce your boundaries. A wife can only be so demanding if you allow it.

And do you want to be left alone in the bedroom?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

"HOW TO MAKE A HUSBAND HAPPY

Just leave him alone....... And he'll be Happy !!!"


Wow. How utterly untrue and unfair to men.

My husband has complex needs that can't be met by "leaving him alone". If I "left him alone", he would divorce me.

I think it does men a disservice to try to paint them as if they have no emotional needs and are just bumbling doofs who want to be "left alone".

My husband requires stimulating, intelligent conversation.

Mind blowing sex.

Loving companionship.

Honesty, loyalty, committment.

To name just a few of the things he needs in a relationship.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Guys....it's obvious this was a tongue in cheek post. He wasn't serious.

And I don't want any part of being a gynecologist.


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## ntamph (Apr 23, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> I think it does men a disservice to try to paint them as if they have no emotional needs and are just bumbling doofs who want to be "left alone".


:iagree:

I need sex but this is really just the groundwork for a relationship.

When she does something for me that shows me she's been thinking about me and that took effort (some surprise or gift) then it really makes my day.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

StarTrekFan said:


> HOW TO MAKE A HUSBAND HAPPY
> 
> Just leave him alone....... And he'll be Happy !!!


Alone? No sex? Having to cook for myself? Nope not happy! Not here! LOL


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I'll play, just avoiding the housework really.....



StarTrekFan said:


> How to keep a wife happy . . . .
> 
> It's really not difficult to make a wife happy.
> A husband only needs to be:
> ...


Can't see the what the big deal is really, none of it looks to onerous. I do equally for him.


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## Franky (Mar 27, 2014)

Lol..


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Bravo, Holland!


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

It's just a joke.........kinda


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

StarTrekFan said:


> HOW TO MAKE A HUSBAND HAPPY
> 
> Just leave him alone....... And he'll be Happy !!!


If he wanted to be left alone he wouldn't be worthy of being my husband at all.


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## thummper (Dec 19, 2013)

Number 51 is hard for me. I try to show my w daily how much she means to me, tell her how pretty she is, give her little hugs, and let her know that I love her. In return, she basically shows me no affection......none at all. No hugs. No kisses. Occasionally a very rare "I love you." Very depressing sometimes. I feel very lonely, especially in the evenings.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

thummper said:


> Number 51 is hard for me. I try to show my w daily how much she means to me, tell her how pretty she is, give her little hugs, and let her know that I love her. In return, she basically shows me no affection......none at all. No hugs. No kisses. Occasionally a very rare "I love you." Very depressing sometimes. I feel very lonely, especially in the evenings.


So sorry, thummper. Hope that changes soon. Maybe spring will inspire her.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

thummper said:


> Number 51 is hard for me. I try to show my w daily how much she means to me, tell her how pretty she is, give her little hugs, and let her know that I love her. In return, she basically shows me no affection......none at all. No hugs. No kisses. Occasionally a very rare "I love you." Very depressing sometimes. I feel very lonely, especially in the evenings.


This is really sad....... Not being funny, but you see so many women complaining that they're not being shown love and affection, then you read something like this, you see a man whos doing all the things that so many woman complain they're not getting.

Of the things you have mentioned, these are the things that my husband tells me that makes me feel so important to him, the daily hugs, and the affection, telling me daily he loves me, it makes me feel special, loved and wanted. I really cant understand your wife, for some women its all they want is to feel wanted and loved.

It made me sad reading your post, I really feel for you.


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

thummper said:


> Number 51 is hard for me. I try to show my w daily how much she means to me, tell her how pretty she is, give her little hugs, and let her know that I love her. In return, she basically shows me no affection......none at all. No hugs. No kisses. Occasionally a very rare "I love you." Very depressing sometimes. I feel very lonely, especially in the evenings.


 sorry to hear this, thumper. Have you told her how you feel? Does she feel like she is showing you love in other ways? Maybe there is a basic disconnect...


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> "HOW TO MAKE A HUSBAND HAPPY
> 
> Just leave him alone....... And he'll be Happy !!!"
> 
> ...


And fun. At least my husband. When we get to much into business mode, he starts to feel bad. Go out with him and do fun things.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)




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## goyaboard1 (Aug 7, 2012)

couldn't resist a reply to this one after nearly losing my marriage.
treat her with respect and consideration at all times and don't forget to tell her in as many ways as possible that she is the most gorgeous and desirable woman that ever walked the earh as far as you are concerned. Pick her up when she feels down , regardless of how crap your day was and take time to enjoy the good times together.
not complicated realy


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

Faithful Wife said:


> My husband has complex needs that can't be met by "leaving him alone". If I "left him alone", he would divorce me.


I understand what was meant by just leave us alone. that was tongue in cheek, but I get it. I guess I'm a guy who does not have complex needs. I needed sex to feel loved, but I never considered myself a complex person. I just roll with the flow and am laid back.


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## StayInIt (Jul 27, 2012)

StarTrekFan said:


> How to keep a wife happy . . . .
> 
> It's really not difficult to make a wife happy.
> A husband only needs to be:
> ...


No.

He needs to philosophize like Captain Picard

Be steely like Captain Janeway

Be unflappable like Captain Sisko

And bone like Captain Kirk.

So basically, no pressure.


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## Mr The Other (Feb 1, 2014)

My wife is great at all the little things, far more than me.

Thing is that the reverse is true of all the big things.


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

too many people answering the joke


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## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Kobo said:


> too many people answering the joke


If it is a joke it is a passive aggressive joke. And I would have laughed if I thought it was funny.


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## Voltaire2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

sinnister said:


> Guys....it's obvious this was a tongue in cheek post. He wasn't serious.
> 
> And I don't want any part of being a gynecologist.


Disagree, I like playing Doctor, plus I have ready access to the medical equipment. Maybe I watched 'Dead Ringers' too many times. 

Cheers, 
V. (13)


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## Kobo (May 13, 2010)

sparkyjim said:


> If it is a joke it is a passive aggressive joke. And I would have laughed if I thought it was funny.


Of course it's a joke. Not sure why its PA. Does his wife post here?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

lovelygirl said:


> *If he wanted to be left alone he wouldn't be worthy of being my husband at all*.


Same here, my H has always enjoyed spending time with me, it's one of the reasons we get along so well.....cause that is what I wanted in a man.. lots of togetherness... we are both "TIME & Touch" so it makes sense...

He is out of town for 4 whole days... not used to this... just got off the phone with him... yesterday we did our 1st Facebook pming in our lives... It seemed strange to me...I never realized how funny he was in his texting...sharing some of his stories of the day....I was cracking up ....

We kept saying how we missed each other.. will be so thrilling when he walks through that door Friday...

I really don't care if it's a Joke, I am going to answer anyway, I care or semi care about many things on that list.. 

* Important to me...*



> 1. a friend - I feel a spouse should be our Best friend
> 2. a companion - nothing but -our biggest helpmate
> 3. a lover - if not, I'd be leaving him -sweetest part of being Married !
> 6. a man !! I love making him FEEL like a man...
> ...



*Don't at all care about ...*



> 4. a brother
> 5. a father
> 7. a chef- I don't mind doing all the cooking
> 12. a decorator
> ...


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## johnAdams (May 22, 2013)

How to keep your wife happy. The basic premise is very simple, always let your wife know that she is the most important thing in your life and that you love her. 

While this may be true. Over the course of a lifetime your wife can forget that you feel this way. You feel you need to be a good provider for your family. In doing this, it is easy to neglect the needs of your wife. It is hard if not impossible to be a career person and at the same time meet all the needs of your wife. Finding a compromise between career and family is something that many men fail to do. 

All women or men want is to be needed and loved. Not losing sight of this very important thing can be difficult to do over the course of a long life. This is why we have such a high divorce rate. We forget what is important. 

Lover her, cherish her and she will return the favor. Remember why you loved her to begin with and keep your love growing. If you truly love and appreciate your wife, you will keep her happy.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

johnAdams said:


> How to keep your wife happy. The basic premise is very simple, always let your wife know that she is the most important thing in your life and that you love her.
> 
> While this may be true. Over the course of a lifetime your wife can forget that you feel this way. You feel you need to be a good provider for your family. In doing this, it is easy to neglect the needs of your wife. It is hard if not impossible to be a career person and at the same time meet all the needs of your wife. Finding a compromise between career and family is something that many men fail to do.
> 
> ...


Spoken from a man who is hailed as a very loving honorable husband...







...


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

StayInIt said:


> No.
> 
> He needs to philosophize like Captain Picard
> 
> ...



In other words, be Batman.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

StarTrekFan said:


> How to keep a wife happy . . . .
> 
> It's really not difficult to make a wife happy.
> A husband only needs to be:
> ...



Hummm, if a guy can become fairly proficient at cunnilingus he can take a “pass”, within reason, on most all these items.:butterfly:


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

are you familiar with the concept of the kobiashi maru test?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

You forgot about mindreader.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

StarTrekFan said:


> How to keep a wife happy . . . .
> 
> It's really not difficult to make a wife happy.
> A husband only needs to be:
> ...


You're missing one very key thing which may need be in your #1 spot and you'll be good ??





































1. SHOPPING


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

i view the OP as humor. Yes, being husband is a chore but so is being wife. Bring a child into the fold and the demands on them can get pretty onerous. Its all about respecting one another and trying to do the best for them.


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## MYM1430 (Nov 7, 2011)

1. Recognize that her needs are more important than yours.
2. Act accordingly.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

You've all missed the real joke. I thread about keeping a wife happy from someone named "Star Trek Fan"! :smthumbup:


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

StarTrekFan said:


> HOW TO MAKE A HUSBAND HAPPY


Full stomach
Empty balls
Closed mouth, wife's that is


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

vellocet said:


> Full stomach
> Empty balls
> Closed mouth, wife's that is


Sometimes open mouth is good though


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## vellocet (Oct 18, 2013)

Wolf1974 said:


> Sometimes open mouth is good though


Depends on the woman.


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## lovelygirl (Apr 15, 2012)

Wolf1974 said:


> Sometimes open mouth is good though





vellocet said:


> Depends on the woman.


:lol:


Depends on the position.


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