# Men without sex?



## ASZ (May 24, 2010)

Is it possible for men not to have sex with his wife for over two years? does it mean he satisfies his desire through some other way like masturbation or anything else? As far as i know, he doesn't have any other woman in his life, no sexual videos, no books....

Can a man even stay without having a sex (with his own will/desire) for almost five years? 

An excuse for having a tired life routine or sex is a task for me and I don't find energy is enough??


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Health issue, sexual identity issue, doing himself issue, mental health issue.

Ask him what is going on. A typical guy doesn't go that long without a reason.


----------



## mike1 (Jun 15, 2009)

That's 100% not normal for a man. You don't say how old he is, how long this has gone on. Was your sex life good before the 2 years and dropped off suddenly. There are a few explanations that make sense:

1) He has a hormone issue or other health problem. He should get checked out by a doc. Have his testosterone levels checked pronto.

2) The only other reason a guy would go that long without sexual activity IMO would be if he's gay.


----------



## ASZ (May 24, 2010)

he is 33 years. No our sex was never good since we marriage. but he didn't even touch me or expressed any desire for over 18 months now. I asked him many times, he says he feels too tired after office routine and it feels like a job to him and he gets tired half way through it.

He had his few tests some time back, they came back normal.

On discussion he said i masturbate a few times and that his libido is perhaps not too good (this is what he said).




mike1 said:


> That's 100% not normal for a man. You don't say how old he is, how long this has gone on. Was your sex life good before the 2 years and dropped off suddenly. There are a few explanations that make sense:
> 
> 1) He has a hormone issue or other health problem. He should get checked out by a doc. Have his testosterone levels checked pronto.
> 
> 2) The only other reason a guy would go that long without sexual activity IMO would be if he's gay.


----------



## unloved (Feb 17, 2010)

My H and I went 6 yrs without sex. I'm as certain as can be that for the last 5 of those yrs, there were no other women. The first yr I'm not as certain. 

He had serious resentment issues coupled with a lack of communication with me. He also had a pretty active internet porn thing going on during those years (with, I'm sure masturbation - though he tried to hide this from me.) Have you ever checked your H's computer history or cache? Just because it's clean doesn't necessarily mean he isn't deleting stuff. A frequently cleared history or cache is also a sign.

Our marriage almost ended but we have managed to turn things around - we now have sex 3-4 x's per week and things are so much better outside the bedroom too. It's like being with someone new. 

There may be something else going on in your H's head about your relationship that he is reluctant to share with you and I'm willing to bet he's looking at porn and masterbating way more than he's letting on. It amazes me how long it went and how bad things had to get before he finally admitted that he no longer had feelings for me and had deep resentment towards me. 

I hope you can get to the bottom of why he won't have sex because, trust me, it'll kill your marriage if you don't resolve it.


----------



## ASZ (May 24, 2010)

Hi unloved,
Thanks for your response.
I have been thinking about it all night that may be he has some communication issue with me and he is having some resentment towards me or something making him uncomfortable. Two things came to my mind. We were having trouble in sex from the day one of our marriage, it was our love marriage and obviously we both loved each other but still he had trouble doing it. I don't think he had any hard feeling at that time. :scratchhead:
At that time, he said, it's just stress. We went out on our honey moon where again we didn't had same issues.
Now problem is that I have tried to discuss this issue with him many times, but he doesn't want to discuss it at all, all he says is that it's as it is and he can't say or do anything about it. Also he says it's all psychological. He is not ready to dig it down deep or discuss why he has such psychological issues. Everytime we discuss it, we both get hurt. Now it's killing me from inside and I want to discuss it with him, gave him a few hints a well, but I can see he is trying to avoid the topic and I am also feeling scared. If I insist him really hard, he simply says, you decide whatever you want to.... 

HOW TO DISCUSS SUCH ISSUES WITH YOUR HUBBY?? 


unloved said:


> Our marriage almost ended but we have managed to turn things around - we now have sex 3-4 x's per week and things are so much better outside the bedroom too. It's like being with someone new.
> 
> There may be something else going on in your H's head about your relationship that he is reluctant to share with you


----------



## ASZ (May 24, 2010)

Hi Tasha,
I am not sure about impotency. We have a baby but it was hell difficult TTC. My hubby is is not good with his erection and if he somehow gets it (that's also a secret), he loses it inside me . If somehow he gets through it, he will take ages to finally get done with the whole process  which causes me pain in the end makes me exhausted. This is not pleasing neither physically nor mentally .

Do you think this is some sort of impotency? 



tasha1133 said:


> It's hard to find any reason why a guy would stop having sex except if he has sexual impotency or serious problem of having sex with you or someone else. Men would generally enjoy sex aside from masturbation.


----------



## seahorse (Apr 10, 2010)

In my experience -- and I know quite a bit about this -- there is either a physical/hormonal problem, or else he doesn't feel he can be honest about what's going on in his mind. For some men we've seen our wives react badly to things that we say or think, so we're gun-shy thereafter. For others of us there could be attraction issues, resentment issues, distractions and stress, etc. Some men just need a higher level of stimulation to be interested -- rare, but a consistent idiosyncrasy in some individuals.

You want to know how to discuss such issues? Start by asking him if he's sexually fulfilled. Get him to open up about what he feels that he's lacking. Now, ultimately, this is for you and what YOU are lacking. But until you understand why the other party isn't cooperating or where they're coming from, you might just be wasting time shooting blanks. 


Get the truth out. Be open minded. Build trust.


Good luck!




ASZ said:


> Hi unloved,
> Thanks for your response.
> I have been thinking about it all night that may be he has some communication issue with me and he is having some resentment towards me or something making him uncomfortable. Two things came to my mind. We were having trouble in sex from the day one of our marriage, it was our love marriage and obviously we both loved each other but still he had trouble doing it. I don't think he had any hard feeling at that time. :scratchhead:
> At that time, he said, it's just stress. We went out on our honey moon where again we didn't had same issues.
> ...


----------



## crazy4you (May 29, 2010)

i think that sex is an important part of any marriage i would never marry anyone other than for love . and lets be honest isn't one of the reasons we marry someone because we fancy them and want to make love and be close to them ..... if thats gone what are you left with ..

:scratchhead:"adultxdating.com"


----------

