# strenuous relationship with my wife: to all the husbands of the world



## duke_foster123 (Jul 17, 2007)

According to my wife I am the most UNCAREING husband in the whole world. Now I wanted to know what all other husbands do which I am not doing. Well let me tell you what I usually do in the morning. I get up at least 15 mins before her gave Milk to my baby, prepare a bed tea for her, brush teeth of my toddler baby then I gave bath to my baby, get him dressed after that I go for bath, mean while she get ready and sometimes she prepare breakfast for the baby and most of the time I do. Then we both go to the office and I drop her and baby to the pre school. Now in the evening we both came home prepare food together. ANd I also doo all the dish washing too. Now is there any thing I am missing. Now I don;t wanna tell you about our intimate relationship which I think I am very good about it (I mean our sex life is good no there is no problem on that side) But I need to know just basic things which wife do want and I am not doing that. Please help me 

Additional Details

Just wanted to add: Actually she is like a bit short tempered and I knew this before the marriage and I try to be calm when she got angry but in her anger she start telling me that she will go away and that she did greatest mistake in her life by marriying me, and that she need divorce and started talking something to my family (which I don't like) and I too get mad and started shouting at her. And then after that she just BLAST like any thing and it would become very diffucult to control her after that and then we stop talking each other for couple of days. Now I know this is affecting our childs mind too when we doo it in front of our child and that is why I wanted to stop this and need all your help. and I WOULD DO ANYTHING for her


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## lovemyabba (Jul 9, 2007)

Well, I hope you don't mind a wife replying, but I think this is the kind of advice you need. It sounds to me like your wife is looking for more emotional support. It's not all the cleaning and stuff you do (although that is really great) that she's wanting. Tell her what you just told us, that you would do anything for her. She probably wants more romance. Maybe time without the kids. 
Try just spending time with her, maybe after the kids are in bed. Look into her eyes and profess your love. You could even go so far as to ask her what it is you can do for her. Call her at work to say you love her. Give her flowers for no reason.

As a wife, I can tell you, I really appreciate all the work my husband does. He works for our family, he helps take care of the kids, cooking and cleaning. I appreciate all that. But, I would LOVE more romance in our lives.


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## trick-r-treat (Jul 3, 2007)

Are you actually "listening" to her? What is it that she is saying when she gets upset with you? What is it really about? Can you just tell her that you really love her and you are trying your best to make her happy, but she just needs to tell you what, exactly, she needs?


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## bfpengi (Aug 16, 2007)

I once go so hurt by my husband because I thought he had fallen out of love with me. It got to a point where I thought he was going to leave me. When I finally told him, he had a look of shock on his face and all he could say was, "But I do the dishes EVERY night." That's right. He wakes up before me because he knows I like to sleep in and makes our daughter her breakfast and sends her off to school. He sits with her while she does homework because I'm tired from work. Then he helps with (and sometimes does all by himself) dinner and, yes, he does the dishes almost every night, a task we both despise. So he says to me, "Honey, I HATE doing the dishes. There almost nothing I hate more. But I know you hate doing the dishes too, so I do them, because I love you. There is no one else in the world that I would do dishes for." >sigh< what are you going to do? Men sometimes show love differently than women want. Ask her what EXACTLY she needs you to do to show her that you care. In the end... I really do hate doing the dishes, so I let him show me how much he loves me in his own way, but at least now I know what he's doing and it makes me smile every time.


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## steelcurtain (Aug 25, 2007)

- You know it is funny sometimes it is either one or the other, either I dont do enough at home or vice versa. I think your doing a great job in terms of helping out around the house, but like the other post mentioned something else is going on there. Maybe it is more emotional than anything else. Do you guys do things together without the kiddo. One of the things that was bothering my wife for a while was that she felt that her life was like a neverending circle of the same tasks and chores. Try taking her out of that circle and doing things with her that doesnt involve cleaning or cooking. I think that will help but may not be the answer. You and her need to communicate, tell her that your not a mind reader and she has to be straigh forward for you to understand. I know that works because I told my wife the same thing and then she opened up. Us men are like that we need our wifes to give it to us straight for us to understand. Hey good luck and good job..


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## JustMe (Jul 30, 2007)

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus!! I got that book when we first got married and it really helped me to realize that men's and women's minds (generally/usually) work VERY differently. You'd think that would be a no-brainer, but sometimes we wives forget that. For instance, we expect you guys to "just understand" that when we're PMSed we need to be left alone/be held/scream/etc...LOL I know, it's totally silly, but sometimes that's the way we think. Another one: My husband grabs my butt all the time...I should be thrilled that he thinks I'm sexy, right?? Well, sometimes it makes me feel like a piece of meat. I know he doesn't think of me that way, but I've been treated like that by men for a long time, and I hate it. I have to remind myself that it's his way of letting me know he's attracted to me still. 

I'm in college full time and the boys have Baseball and JROTC and friends and all the other stuff that comes with kids, so by the end of the day, I'm exhausted!! However, I also know that my husband works very hard all day too, and I need to be understanding of his moods, just as I "expect" him to be of mine. 

I know I rambled, sorry. I hope it made some sense.


PS we have "date night" at LEAST once a month....no kids, just us. Usually dinner and a movie. It's wonderful! Try it!


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## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

I remember reading somewhere...

"He climbed the highest peak in the world to show his love to her,
he crossed the longest ocean in the world to show his love to her,
but she left him..............because he was never home" 

I dont know if got the words right but it went something like this

women need more romance, they need to hear the word "I love u" more often than men (at least for me), for me a love sms or email from my hubby will go all the way to prepare his favouite meal for dinner+the dishes. 

When is the last time u told her that she looks beautiful, when is the last time you showered her with attention? Think about it!


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