# This "fitness test" deal....?



## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

OK, I need more clarification about this whole "fitness test" thing. Not sure I get it, yet I think i do....

Sure there are little tests out there, usually to find out if the other means what they say about something.... But I think I am missing what people are talking about on these larger scale things. There are things people refer to as fitness tests, that I just see as either life or just who the person is and what they want....

I think a few things are being written off as a test, just to make it easier to get around in a way....

Since I am new here, there are probably a million threads on this, it has probably been over discussed already, but I don't jump in on million page threads, and I don't sit and read them like novels, hate reading that much on a computer screen, so humor me


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## major misfit (Oct 17, 2010)

Hang out in the Men's room for awhile, and you'll see plenty about fitness testing. Good luck.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Ya, but frankly they don't seem to know what they are talking about on it. Looks more like they are trying to get around giving the woman credit for having different feelings and needs than they do. Sorry but it just looks like any time she has a need they don't feel like filling, they label it a fitness test and write it off.

Is that it?


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

So let me see if I understand ...

You don't believe the individuals talking about it know what they're talking about ...

And you don't want to read any of the threads discussing the topic ....

But you want to understand what they are?

If you change your mind ....

Fitness Tests

There is a concise definition on page 1.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Deejo said:


> So let me see if I understand ...
> 
> You don't believe the individuals talking about it know what they're talking about ...
> 
> ...


Didn't really say any of that. Just never go into massive threads. think what you want on that, I just don't. Also don't go hunting when I am not entirely sure what I am hunting for. When i want an answer to something.... I ask a question.. don't think that is tooo strange.

Now that you pointed it out, I can walk away from trying to interpret some of the silliness that is more currently being discussed (sorry but that is how i am honestly interpreting it) so thank you for the link, yes I will use it.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Ok read it... turns out I just don't agree...

What is described as a fitness test to me looks like just a silly game...

What I think is really the test, is if you can do what needs to be done with opportunity presented was not intentional but just life.

To all it a test implies it is intentionally put there (or at least how it seems to be used around here). That's a fitness game.

The true test is when life happens, do you deal? do you do the right thing? then ya you pass. Do you cower, do you run, do you leave it on the other to figure out alone? then no, you fail. But to say the "test" is set up, is wrong, but I suppose it is not wrong to say that one person might be looking more closely at a response or reaction to certain situations over others.

Eh... Probably just me... wouldn't be the first time, certainly won't be the last


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

I appreciate it when people are straight.

Helps save valuable time.


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## Trooper (Oct 21, 2010)

I do not get how men think women have this "test" Do we go to some sort of training or indoctrination where we are all taught the test after we come out of the pods? Crazy stuff...


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Conrad said:


> I appreciate it when people are straight.
> 
> Helps save valuable time.


I am as straight as they come, but will cop to putting up a test, usually after a life failure, to see if he means it when he says that next time will be different. That's just self preservation since it is better to find out if that is true under controlled circumstances than finding out when it will crush me. Can also tell when the same is being done to me most times, but I understand why.

Straight up is always best, but there are times and places for everything.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Is there anywhere that discusses if/when a fitness test is justified? Like when you are are going with "OK, I got your words, but show me that they actually mean something"? Just wondering... There is a LOT of info on this site, and searching it out is not the easiest thing in the world


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## LonelyNLost (Dec 11, 2010)

Honestly, I've been on these boards a lot and I don't get the fitness test thing either. It does seem like a game. I have to be honest, when I ask my hubby to get me a glass of water, I really just want a glass of water. It isn't a test of dominance or anything. I am just asking a favor that I would totally return. But apparently he's supposed to respond that I'm fully capable of getting it myself, which would hurt my feelings not make me want to jump his bones. I'm not a cavewoman. LOL. 

I tried discussing this comment with him, and he didn't agree with it either. But he has alpha and beta traits. When it comes to helping out at home or doing things for me he's very beta. But when it comes to attitudes or being told what to do, he's very alpha. Some of the manning up things with fitness tests such as asking if your ass looks fat and ridiculous things that don't really have an answer, I agree with those. It would be sexy to respond with humor. And he does for the most part. 

I just wish he'd go read atholk's blog. I'd totally love for him to pull those stunts. He also explains fitness tests a little more there and I think you'd love his blog. Married Man Sex Life.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Interesting blog, wish it could work or would have in my case, but I did make several suggestions on reads that would help him get me, but he considered that some kind of taboo or something. Not even sure, but it was a no no in his mind to look anywhere for help. Still is, on any issue (parenting OMG does he need it, women, personal issues stemming from 18 years of bad marriage) Help from the outside makes you weak don't you know LOL HOPELESS!!!! Hell, even if he saw the sexual benefits he might peak once, but then leave it. Never did figure that out, still can't.


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

If it counts for anything, I just put a fitness test out there, but without it I can't give anything. Not sure if it a fitness test or a self preservation, or simply (and ya, admitting it could be) "you were a JERK, and I want you to pay as much as I did, and since you don't feel, I will play what I can to make you pay"

Can't even say I am sure, can't even say if passing would mean anything to me, but I know it has a better chance of meaning something to me than doing nothing would. (which was the only other option)

Is it all just about worth and not knowing yours? You HEAR it's there but words are cheap, so the fitness test forces the action that speaks your language? Hell I don't know. I am not even sure why I put it out there, and I am pretty sure nothing will come of it (effort not being a certain person's forte) but given his words... HAAAAA words, that's funny, but given that, it fits, and necessary.

So is that a fitness test? is that really bad? or is it OK sometimes if it is all there is to build even basic trust?

GAWDS all so dumb really, since, well it is what it is HAAAA

Rambling done... not making sense, none of it DOES make sense, but hey, why not rant on it right?


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## Trenton (Aug 25, 2010)

Fitness test defined by man = $hit test
Fitness test defined by woman = why are you such an idiot?!


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Trenton said:


> Fitness test defined by man = $hit test
> Fitness test defined by woman = why are you such an idiot?!


:iagree: :lol:


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

oddly, this fitness test came out of the whole communication discussion and wondering if my end was not being open to the mean coming from the man end... stupid discussions making me think knowing what me means will actually make a difference considering what he does HAAAAAAAA

STOOOOPID! LMAO But still.. that's the truth... GEEEZ I try to figure stuff out and all it does is make me dumber? :wtf: Think that with your favorite jersey girl tone HAAAA


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

These may be helpful.

Married Man Sex Life: Some Common Fitness Tests... And What Isn't A Fitness Test

Married Man Sex Life: What Do To About Wifely Nagging For Reasonable Requests


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## woodstock (Feb 21, 2011)

Well I know what I gave today was a fitness test (at least I KNOW any man would call it that, but dammit, YA if he means what he says, THIS time he would have to prove it!) So it's just reality now. He passes or fails, no in-between LOL This one is pretty straight up and I don't think i hid that LOL


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

Atholk said:


> These may be helpful.
> 
> Married Man Sex Life: Some Common Fitness Tests... And What Isn't A Fitness Test
> 
> Married Man Sex Life: What Do To About Wifely Nagging For Reasonable Requests


I'm reading this and laughing so much :rofl:


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