# Would you help your spouse



## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Blue dragonfly said:


> If your spouse was very ill with sickness and lots of diahorrea, so bad they say they felt close to collapse when the doctor arrived, and in that moment they asked you to clean them when they're on the loo - would you?
> 
> I'm just wondering as I was in that situation and my husband refused to help me. He's cleaned up our kid's sick and diahorrea before and changed dirty nappies, but when it came to helping me in my time of need he didn't want to. I really did feel close to keeling over, it was scary, so thats why I asked for his help. Ultimately if you love your spouse then you'd help them wouldn't you? At least that's what I think.


Yes. I would. I probably wouldn't like it, but yes I would.

Pity he is not man enough to be the man you need. Sorry. 

Inicdentally @Blue dragonfly my wife and I saw a blue dragonfly when we went for a walk the other afternoon. It was beautiful!


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## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

Without fail...


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

In sickness and in health...been there done that, would not even give it a second thought.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Of course. I know for a fact my wife would do it for me. She is a RN and she has had to do worse for strangers.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I wouldn't want to but if he is ill and in need of help I would. Some men don't like the loss of mystery as they see the wife as a sexual being, childbirth often has such negative consequences too. Sorry though he did this.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

It's easy to say you would. I think I would. What I really want to say is that I think you are incredibly brave to ask. I'd have to be pretty badly off to ask. My wife is similar. I wouldn't know about it until it was all over. I'm sorry you were reduced to that state and then left hanging.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Mr. Nail said:


> It's easy to say you would. I think I would. What I really want to say is that I think you are incredibly brave to ask. I'd have to be pretty badly off to ask. My wife is similar. I wouldn't know about it until it was all over. I'm sorry you were reduced to that state and then left hanging.


This is a good point, the bravery to ask for help in the first place. In my pride, I'd likely crawl into the shower and clean myself that way rather than ask for help, and that's not to my credit.

I'm sorry, Blue. Despite my own hangups I'd be honored to help my wife when she needed it. After cleaning up some unspeakable messes when our kids were little, I imagine I'd have the fortitude for it without flinching.


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

Yes. I've never had to do that, but have had to help clean up if she vomited. Definitely not fun, but not nearly as bad as seeing her feeling very poorly.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

I wouldn't like it but I would do it...till death do us part...even though it's been a ****ty marriage


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Before we got married we got food poisoning together. I puked first, into her favorite shoes. An hour or so later she started. It was coming out of both ends. It wasn't pretty, but we helped each other out, whatever it took.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Yes]


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Shortly before my husband became ill, the subject came up and he said "I don't want you to have to do that." I said "Sorry, but you're stuck with me." When the time came, it was nothing, it was less than nothing. I don't understand what the problem is with people. It's poop, get over it.


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## MarriedDude (Jun 21, 2014)

Of course, i would do whatever she needed done to make her as comfortable as possible
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

I would do whatever to help. I always feel so bad for anyone that doesn't feel well, so I could power through it. I do have a hard time with seeing blood though. I may pass out.


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Without hesitation. I have had to help him in the shower when he was too weak to wash himself. I have had to help clean up when he threw up, and with diarrhea. So, yes, I can say for a fact that if I am able, I would. He has helped me in less than desirable conditions, too, so I believe he would help me, too, if able.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Blue dragonfly said:


> If your spouse was very ill with sickness and lots of diahorrea, so bad they say they felt close to collapse when the doctor arrived, and in that moment they asked you to clean them when they're on the loo - would you?
> 
> I'm just wondering as I was in that situation and my husband refused to help me. He's cleaned up our kid's sick and diahorrea before and changed dirty nappies, but when it came to helping me in my time of need he didn't want to. I really did feel close to keeling over, it was scary, so thats why I asked for his help. Ultimately if you love your spouse then you'd help them wouldn't you? At least that's what I think.


Absolutely no problem.


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

only if i could drag the garden hose into the house.

just kidding.

have done that for her, along with cleaning projectile vomiting (meaning it covered the area of a football field)


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I am the type of person that can not stand to feel like a burden.. and I hate to be put in a humiliating situation ... if there was ANY way to avoid it, take care of myself , I would (in your opening scenario , there is not, however )..

But if I was home alone...if I had to crawl on my hands & knees to help myself - before he got home.... I would.. that's just how strongly I feel...

But I undoubtedly KNOW , that my husband would scold me for that.. and he'd WANT to do all he could.. 

And me too.. My current job is in "direct care".... not exactly lovely by any means, we have moments like that...hey, someone's got to do it ! 

It'd be MY PLACE to immediate snap into gear & do all I could to help him...clean him up..absolutely!!.. to lesson how humiliating it would feel, I'd cringe on just thinking how that would feel out & about in front of strangers...


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> Before we got married we got food poisoning together. I puked first, into her favorite shoes. An hour or so later she started. It was coming out of both ends. It wasn't pretty, but we helped each other out, whatever it took.


Homicide-suicide pact?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Keeping a box of disposable plastic gloves in the bathroom is a good idea.

Have you asked him how he would feel if you refused to help him at a time like that?


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

This topic is very sensitive and hurtful for me. 
I will make a long story short.
I had a total knee replacement, spent 3 nights in the hospital, had a blood transfusion, went to rehab for 2 weeks from the hospital, had 2 more blood tranfusions, the fall caused permanent nerve damage and I have foot drop, my stbx of 33 years came to pick me up from rehab, brought me home, went to pick up my medications, picked up some milk, bread and OJ, came back home, went upstairs, packed his suitcase and left me to go to a place that he had rented while I was in the hospital.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Blue dragonfly said:


> The replies I'm getting here make my husband look the odd one out. If all of you are saying that you'd help your spouse without question if they needed you, and in fact some of you already have, then how does that make him look? - not great  I recently had personal counselling as a result of years of feeling neglected by him whilst living with long term arthritis that I had before we met. The responses from you are only reinforcing what I know, that if someone is important to you then you'll naturally pay attention to them and care about their needs. Nobody should have to search for attention from their spouse, or worse still, be denied help or emotional comfort from them in times of vulnerability. The way I see it is that nobody is perfect and we all have weaknesses, but because you love the other person you'll put whatever insecurities you feel aside and be there for them to the best of your ability. I'm grateful for your replies as they remind me that I am worth something and deserve to be treated with love and respect in my marriage.



I have one word for you: SELFISH


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Married&Confused said:


> only if i could drag the garden hose into the house.
> 
> just kidding.


This made me chuckle.

We would help each other out.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CharlieParker said:


> Before we got married we got food poisoning together. I puked first, into her favorite shoes. An hour or so later she started. It was coming out of both ends. It wasn't pretty, but we helped each other out, whatever it took.


Somehow I just love this.. this is what Love does !







Great example!

Always makes for a good laugh too... "Remember when...."


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

Blue dragonfly said:


> If your spouse was very ill with sickness and lots of diahorrea, so bad they say they felt close to collapse when the doctor arrived, and in that moment they asked you to clean them when they're on the loo - would you?
> 
> I'm just wondering as I was in that situation and my husband refused to help me. He's cleaned up our kid's sick and diahorrea before and changed dirty nappies, but when it came to helping me in my time of need he didn't want to. I really did feel close to keeling over, it was scary, so thats why I asked for his help. Ultimately if you love your spouse then you'd help them wouldn't you? At least that's what I think.


Yes, I would help and wouldn't even complain about it. That's where love evolves from mere words to meaningful actions.


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Somehow I just love this.. this is what Love does !
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It was still fairly early in the (more than friends) relationship but that's when we both kind of "knew".


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

VeryHurt said:


> This topic is very sensitive and hurtful for me.


Yes, me too. 

During our 33 years (28 married) together I helped my STBXH during all types of illnesses and accidents involving every type of bodily fluid there is and/or sitting with him in hospital if his injuries were serious. It’s what you do when there is love and partnership.

STBXH, on the other hand, let me drive myself to the emergency room while our 13 year old held pressure on my bleeding, open gash with a towel. He said he was “busy” and yes he was right there in front of me and said that to my face. This type of thing happened more than once.

I’m sorry @Blue dragonfly that you have one of these selfish oafs for a partner. It's one of the many reasons why mine is an EX.


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

My heart breaks for you ladies who have such sh*tty husbands. Everyone dispenses "I Love You's" during the good times but when the rubber hits the road, they show you their true colors.

I'm not married but I understand marriage can be a tricky business for many because picking the right partner is everything. All their good looks and charms mean absolutely nothing if they don't have your back at all times. I am constantly working on my ability to read others but even I know I can't trust how someone will behave in the future when times get tough. I think the wisest course for me if I ever do get married is to ask God to be my matchmaker, because He knows her heart and He can see into the future. 

This is one of my favorite verses from Paul's writings that applies to everyone, regardless if they believe or not.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

becareful2 said:


> My heart breaks for you ladies who have such sh*tty husbands.


All spouses matter.


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## Mclane (Apr 28, 2016)

A person who will not help a person who is sick and in need, to the best of their ability, does not love that person.

End of story.


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

Blue dragonfly said:


> Wow, I'm not the only one then. The mind boggles how anybody, let alone someone who's supposed to adore you, can be so selfish and heartless. I've had excuses made to not take me to hospital to drain my
> Arthritic knee (that can fill up with fluid to 18 inches wide) because of some family birthday tea, and the excuse that it was inconvenient as inlaws not able to look after our daughter then about 5 and she would need to be in bed soon, even though it was only the start of the afternoon. The inlaws would happily have looked after her. He just walked off and left me upstairs without help. Then there have been the times without food when I've not been able to cook due to the arthritis, and he's made food for just himself and our daughter. Then there's been the leaving me for hours by myself if I get down, not so much as a word or a cuddle, and then the excuse that he didn't like it when I got like that....even though I've told him that by ignoring me he only makes me feel more down. I once said that I'd been upstairs for so long I could have taken my own life (I wouldn't but it was to test him) and he didn't even respond but just glanced up, said nothing, then went back to watching TV. I'm trying to get my health better so I can have options for the future as I'm so unhappy. I don't know if it'll be possible or not to get well, but I really hope so as my heart is wasted on him.


Excuse my French, but eff that guy. No compassion, no empathy, no loyalty.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Blue dragonfly said:


> I am shocked and stunned. Don't know what else to say.


Blue
On the flip side and what stunned me then and still stuns me now is that I am a RN and I have helped people my entire career. You name it, I did it. I am empathetic, sympathetic and very caring. Healing and mending are in my soul. I couldn't believe the coldness of my stbx. There is only a fine line between a truly selfish person and a true narcissist.


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

I can't imagine preparing food and not making enough for your spouse. I just can't... Even if you're angry at them for whatever reason, you should still save them some. During famish times, you better believe he's going to keep everything for himself.


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## VeryHurt (Mar 11, 2011)

Blue dragonfly said:


> It looks like you simply weren't appreciated, even though it sounds like you have a lot of love to give like myself. I imagine your stbx hasn't shown any remorse for what he did. My husband hasn't for being neglectful, and has even gone so far as to say that I dreamt everything up - talk about emotional twisting. I know what's real though.


Well Blue
There are givers and there are takers.
I think it is pretty obvious what type we married!


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*I already have ~ with both my XW and my RSXW! When they were ill and couldn't fend for themselves!

In addition, I cleaned up our puke-filled master bathroom on numerous occasions whenever my RSXW couldn't hold her liquor! And trust me, that was no pleasant experience to go through!

In being married and supposedly committed to one another, such actions just "go with the territory!"

But now that I know where I came to sit in her life, more especially with her other men from her earlier life, I honestly think that I wouldn't pee in her guts if she were on fire!*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Personal (Jan 16, 2014)

In our first year of dating I had to help my then future wife with nearly everything after she came back to her place after leaving hospital following being smashed up by a car while crossing a road. Her immediate family wasn't interested and there was no one else so I did whatever she needed. One thing that was nice, was my boss (and her former boss) approved paid carers leave (which I technically wasn't entitled to) while I looked after her.

In later years she reciprocated by helping me when I nearly died and was recovering from when I got sick in the first year of our marriage...

If someone needs help and you're it, you may as well help them.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

I would do it for anyone in my family, because when someone needs help, you help. I think it's less about how much you love someone and more about being a decent human being.


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## NotEasy (Apr 19, 2015)

I would do it. "In sickness and in health" applies. Just hope I wouldn't flinch.

I was trying to think of how to write something about "don't trust the numbers, because those who should answer no wont post", but nah, your husband has shown his true colours.


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## rileyawes (Jun 28, 2016)

Personal and breeze are right... I'd do it for my husband, have done it for my ex-boyfriend... I think I'd do it for a stranger if I was the only person in the immediate vicinity, and I'm a pretty squeamish type. Sure, I'd hold my breath, maybe even close my eyes, but I'd do it. Is it possible your husband thought one of the doctors or nurses might help you if he didn't? I'm trying not to be horrified by his abandonment. Please talk to him.


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Have you had a convo with him about his lack of caring? What did he have to say for himself? I hope his selfish little ears are burning hotter than the blazes of hell.


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

The day will come when they will be too old and unable to care for themselves. Maybe they'll be put in a nursing home and the assistants will treat them poorly. These things have a way of working itself out. When I read about some elderly people being mistreated at a nursing home, I can't help but wonder if karma was at play. Yes, bad things happen to both decent people who didn't deserve it but it also befalls unkind people who deserve it. Only that person knows if it's karma or not.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

I would do it. My wife on the other hand would probably have me climb into the tub and just hose me off and then let me crawl out of the tub to get ready for the doctor.

BTW, we installed one of those sprayers to the toilet. Works wonders, just tap into the line for the toilet.


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## sapientia (Nov 24, 2012)

I'd have to hold my breath, but I'd do it without hesitation.

I knew a woman who dumped her H in emerg and left after he broke a bone. She had an "important meeting" to get to. I haven't seen them in ages but I wouldn't be surprised if they are on the rocks or divorced.

There are some pathologically selfish people out there. They are beyond help. All you can do is avoid them.


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

becareful2 said:


> The day will come when they will be too old and unable to care for themselves. Maybe they'll be put in a nursing home and the assistants will treat them poorly. These things have a way of working itself out. When I read about some elderly people being mistreated at a nursing home, I can't help but wonder if karma was at play. Yes, bad things happen to both decent people who didn't deserve it but it also befalls unkind people who deserve it. Only that person knows if it's karma or not.


Lack of staff, ignorant staff, untrained staff, mean staff have a lot more to do with lack of proper care in nursing homes than karma. Please don't blame the victims. It is a serious problem in nursing homes.


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## becareful2 (Jul 8, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Lack of staff, ignorant staff, untrained staff, mean staff have a lot more to do with lack of proper care in nursing homes than karma. Please don't blame the victims. It is a serious problem in nursing homes.


I said it happens to both decent people who don't deserve it as well as people who do deserve it. I qualified my statement by saying that only that person knows if it's karma or not.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

Blue dragonfly said:


> If your spouse was very ill with sickness and lots of diahorrea, so bad they say they felt close to collapse when the doctor arrived, and in that moment they asked you to clean them when they're on the loo - would you?
> 
> I'm just wondering as I was in that situation and my husband refused to help me. He's cleaned up our kid's sick and diahorrea before and changed dirty nappies, but when it came to helping me in my time of need he didn't want to. I really did feel close to keeling over, it was scary, so thats why I asked for his help. Ultimately if you love your spouse then you'd help them wouldn't you? At least that's what I think.


I definitely would.

My husband said the moment he knew he wanted to marry me was when he got food poisoning on a road trip and I cheerfully helped him clean himself off with a spare T-shirt by the side of the freeway.

But then I am not a squeamish person at all. Of course the fact that your H can mess with kids diarrhea does not bode well for his refusal to help you. I had food poisoning once on a business trip and I was definitely not functional. Maybe your H has not been through that for so long he didn't realize how debilitating it is.


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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

He definitely is being disrespectful of you. You may find the stress of living with someone disrespectful and uncaring exacerbates your health issues. 

I listen to MarriageBuilders radio and one time they had a couple on where the wife has all kinds of ailments and the H is sick of it because she can't do much. They separated for awhile and she started getting better! So they got back together and her health went downhill again.

Dr. Harley, the psychologist whose radio show it is said he believes her husband is the cause of her problems. Then he gave this brilliant explanation of stress affecting sleep affecting the bodies ability to regenerate affecting XYZ. I can't explain it like he did, but it was fascinating and made total sense. He strongly believes that an unhappy marriage is really bad for women's health.

By the way - you might *look into Cryotherapy* for your arthritis. My H has autoimmune issues and migraines and all kinds of aches and pains and has started Cryo and really feels it is helping.



Blue dragonfly said:


> All I get are excuses of one sort or another when I have tried to discuss his lack of caring, including being told I've imagined everything or it didn't happen. When it comes to improving the arthritis I have, which I had before we got together, I've been using alternative ways like diet etc to improve. I'd like to improve more but every time I talk to him about seeing an alternative health doctor who's into integrative medicine (they look for root causes like gut issues rather than just give drugs) he isn't approving. He says he just doesn't believe in it, that it's not even about the money, and has rubbed his face with his hands saying oh no, not this again, we've been over this so many times. He says he wants me to get better but his attitude is very obstructive in my opinion. Why he can't just put his opinion to one side and say he'll support me as I research it I don't know. What's more...and I am not joking...he says if it were him he'd live off of morphine if he had to. Now that just says it all.
> 
> I've had a very sore wrist for weeks now which I've been struggling with, feeling like I have to ask for help as he hasn't offered it that much, and housework has been left. Well today I had it X rayed and it's a suspected fracture....seeing the fracture clinic next week. No injury, so looks like from taking steroid. I asked him to call his parents to tell them as I'm out of action with it and he made excuses - they're too old to help us with anything (in their late 50's), and can't help as got enough with looking after his mums mother who needs some help round the house as getting old. He's covered up my health before but no more. I messaged his mum and let her know. He won't be too pleased I'm sure but he'll just hide otherwise and I'll suffer. She doesn't work and has often said, if there's anything she can do if things get tough then just to ask. I couldn't wish for nicer inlaws....just wish their son was more like them. One time when I'd come out of hospital after a knee surgery she apologised from hearing he'd not done the housework, said she hadn't brought him up like that. She asked as she'd noticed he couldn't have had the time to do it as he was round their house a lot after visiting me in hospital. I could write a novel on the last 17 yrs but it can be summed up in a few words....selfish, disrespectful, and unwilling to take responsibility for his behaviour. I'm worth so much more!!


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Blue dragonfly said:


> All I get are excuses of one sort or another when I have tried to discuss his lack of caring, including being told I've imagined everything or it didn't happen. When it comes to improving the arthritis I have, which I had before we got together, I've been using alternative ways like diet etc to improve. I'd like to improve more but every time I talk to him about seeing an alternative health doctor who's into integrative medicine (they look for root causes like gut issues rather than just give drugs) he isn't approving. He says he just doesn't believe in it, that it's not even about the money, and has rubbed his face with his hands saying oh no, not this again, we've been over this so many times. He says he wants me to get better but his attitude is very obstructive in my opinion. Why he can't just put his opinion to one side and say he'll support me as I research it I don't know. What's more...and I am not joking...he says if it were him he'd live off of morphine if he had to. Now that just says it all.
> 
> I've had a very sore wrist for weeks now which I've been struggling with, feeling like I have to ask for help as he hasn't offered it that much, and housework has been left. Well today I had it X rayed and it's a suspected fracture....seeing the fracture clinic next week. No injury, so looks like from taking steroid. I asked him to call his parents to tell them as I'm out of action with it and he made excuses - they're too old to help us with anything (in their late 50's), and can't help as got enough with looking after his mums mother who needs some help round the house as getting old. He's covered up my health before but no more. I messaged his mum and let her know. He won't be too pleased I'm sure but he'll just hide otherwise and I'll suffer. She doesn't work and has often said, if there's anything she can do if things get tough then just to ask. I couldn't wish for nicer inlaws....just wish their son was more like them. One time when I'd come out of hospital after a knee surgery she apologised from hearing he'd not done the housework, said she hadn't brought him up like that. She asked as she'd noticed he couldn't have had the time to do it as he was round their house a lot after visiting me in hospital. I could write a novel on the last 17 yrs but it can be summed up in a few words....selfish, disrespectful, and unwilling to take responsibility for his behaviour. I'm worth so much more!!


I am the same age as your in-laws. When my wife is laid up with her arthritis and rheumatism I try to look after her as best I can.

So he is talking nonsense. His parents are young enough to cope with helping and more than willing.

Your husband doesn't deserve you as his wife.


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## WorkingWife (May 15, 2015)

notmyrealname4 said:


> ...But, to be honest, his conduct sounds more than selfish. Leaving you alone upstairs with a swollen knee without food is more than selfish. Project into the future, when you are older (and our health typically doesn't improve as we age), can you see your husband standing by your side? I can't, from your description.
> 
> If you evaluate all this; and realize that he may not be able to love or care for you the way that you need; what is your plan of action? Refer to WorkingWife's post; which you said you have had experience of: feeling better when he's not around...


Not only you getting worse and him not sticking by your side, but the knowledge that his being by your side could be part of what's making you worse!
@Blue dragonfly, you say the situation is more complicated than you can explain here, so we don't know all the details. I want to say that it is understandable for a spouse to be frustrated if his or her partner can't really meet many of their needs due to illness. But whether your H is just a born selfish a-hole or just worn out and fed up, the bottom line is, this is your *life*. And if the dynamic between the two of you is harming your health, you need to get free of it.

Money is an issue, but he would have to pay child support and probably alimony for some time. Also, you might qualify for disability. A lot of family law attorneys give a free initial consultation. You might talk to some to find out just what a separation/divorce would look like financially. Also, there may be social worker types you can talk to to see what kind of assistance you'd qualify for - low income housing, food stamps, etc. You might have more options than you think.

Lastly, I hear this doesn't really work, but, if you're sleeping in separate bedrooms maybe you could do an "in house separation" where you switch the relationship to roommates. See if having zero expectations from each other helps. (Just a thought, probably not a the best one.)


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

My wife needed an enema before a medical procedure. There was a nurse who would do it. But my wife was not comfortable with that. So I took notes and did it all myself including the clean up.

I did not feel dirty or bad or anything at all after it. I have passed some bad stinky stuff out of my body. Her body ain't making anything else much different than mine. So what's the big deal.

Also I have assisted my grandma for the last few months before her death to go to the toilet.
She was almost 87 years old. At about 22, I was strong enough to hold her considerable weight in place so she would not slip and fall from the toilet seat. It stinks yes. But she needed help.

Your husband does not sound like a nice guy who can help others.


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

Yes I would however my spouse wouldn't help me when i needed it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## jasmine31 (Jul 12, 2016)

edit: deleted 
jasmine31


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Are you in the U.S.? If so, you are entitled to all sorts of resources. Take care of those first. Ok?


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## Blue dragonfly (May 19, 2014)

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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Surely he can't buy the house without your permission? You have to have SOME sort of control over that? If not, get to a lawyer MONDAY to ensure that he cannot do it. 

Once that's settled, simply say "I WILL NOT MOVE unless it has what I need. You will have to divorce me first and give me half of everything."

Wanna hear something creepy? Totally unrelated to you? I was just upstairs and I turned on our air filter full blast (people are coming over later). Then I came down here. Guess what ad is on my page atm? Air purifiers. This has happened before.


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## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

turnera said:


> Wanna hear something creepy? Totally unrelated to you? I was just upstairs and I turned on our air filter full blast (people are coming over later). Then I came down here. Guess what ad is on my page atm? Air purifiers. This has happened before.


Lol. Big brother is watching you! 😁

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

Did you message anyone about it on WhatsApp or fb or some such messenger?


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