# Is email cowardly?



## 2yearsince (Sep 20, 2011)

Ok I wont go into the details again (wife had explicd EA) but is emailing your thoughts cowardly? My wife blows up and turns things around when we do talk. She knows my buttons and pushes them perfectly. After any fight I am more mad that she made me act in a way I know I am not (not violent or anything). After 2yrs of trying to deal with her EA (6 months of working it out and the rest with her not wanting to relive it so I just dealt) I really need to express my feelings. I am away for work and know how our phone conv will go, as our normal ones have attitude already. I wanted to email my concerns and thought but feel like I am taking the easy way out. I am not asking for a divorce oevr email just want to tell her how I am feeling.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I would do a hand written note. But email works too.

I wrote my husband a letter when he left, but I read it to him when he came to get his stuff. We both cried and it was good to read it to him.

Best of luck.


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

I think it is good. Pose a few open ended questions so that she will want to respond. It is a letter really.


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## 2yearsince (Sep 20, 2011)

Thanks, I did email her. I was able to take time and think out everything I wanted to say so there was nothing left out (I'm sure there was but got the main stuff). Still hard cause I know it hurt her but I feel good. For once I do not feel like I am fear of the situation and feel in control (of myself not her).


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

In a former I life I must have been the XO of a British warship in the Napoleonic Wars. I really don't do this communication at a distance thing at all. I do up close in your face. I need to see body language, gesture, sweat.


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## 2yearsince (Sep 20, 2011)

I agree but if you are stuck out of town for a month do you just sit an let things build? I couldnt take it any more. Leaving made me realize things and if I let it simmer I'd prob explode! I understand though, I agree it is very impersonal IMO. If I were to divorce or leave or seperate or any major decision I would do it in person. In this case it was probably better as I know that starting of something I would never get to complete myself before she turned it into something else.


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