# Guys, please help!



## leaster928 (Feb 13, 2012)

My Husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We met in high school aand stayed in touch. We have two children together a 3 yr old son and a 2yr old daughter. We have been having problems with fighting over money, friends due to him wanting to go out and party, me having control issues, and discipline. I feel like I pushed him away and didn't respect him, I made it hard for him to.live with me, I didn't even like myself.
In October he decided he wanted to end things. I did exactly what I wasn't supposed to do, begged and pleaded with him pushing him even further away. He was still in the house but made it clear that he was done. He stopped coming home staying out and partying. On Thanksgiving he moved out saying he just needed sometime to clear his head and think. The beginning of December I found out he had started a relationship with another girl and that she was 6wks pregnant. They are now living together. My husband says he doesn't want to be with anyone right now and that was the original plan until she ended up pregnant. Now he says he doesn't want to end it bc he doesn't want to be the heartless guy that kicks out a pregnant girl.
He tells me that he needs to see that I've changed for the long term but if he's really interested in getting back together I say he needs to end it with the other girl and he says he can't. 
I may sound stupid but I love this man and want to work things out. Yes, I know that he cheated and is having a baby with a mother woman. I know that its going to be hard work and we will always have a reminder of what happened. But, I love him and I know deep down he loves me too, I just don't know how to get him away from her to be able to work on us. 
I have started to love myself again, taking care of me and am happier than I have been in awhile. But I know I want him back and that we once were so happy and I can't help but have hope that we can be together again. Please help me. Any advice you can give is much appreciated.


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## 5stringpicker (Feb 11, 2012)

My advice may not be what you want to hear, but this alley cat doesn’t have an ounce of loyalty in his blood. Don’t you think that his track record is an indicator as to how he’s going to treat you and behave in the future? Take him back and I believe you're in for the same lousy treatment? 
Go back and analyze what you said. He wanted to stay out partying with a wife and two young kids, moved out, got another broad pregnant and has got you believing its all your fault. I got news for you Mon Cher, if he loves you "deep down", I'd hate to see what he'd be capable of if he only liked you. You must like the challenge of a "bad boy"
You know the answer yourself, "I have started to love myself again, taking care of me and am happier than I have been in awhile" You need to ask yourself why you want to go back to this toxic relationship that ain't going to last anyway. Sounds to me like you're happier without him than your are with him.


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## sigma1299 (May 26, 2011)

He'll do it again if you take him back this way. He cheated, he moved out and you're begging him to let you take him back?? WTF!! You should make him crawl over broken glass before you even consider it. 

If you really want help post this over in the coping with infidelity section, but only if you really want help on how to best deal with cheating ass for you. They will tell you to slam the door in his face, maybe they'll be able to convince you why you should.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

time too move on with your life and too let this non worthy person go.


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## Mrs. T (Aug 5, 2011)

I'm wondering why you are buying his "I don't want to be the jerk that kicks out a pregnant girl" line of BS. What about leaving the wife and two kids he already is responsible for? He's just trying to justify it so he doesn't seem like the A**hole that he is. He wants to stay out and party all night and fu*k around...wonder how long the pregnant girl will play that game with him. Deep down he wants to be a single guy...do yourself a favor and make him one.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I get amazed everyday at the stories I read here. How can an obviously caring and understanding woman be taken advantage of like this? Do not fall victim to this scam.


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## maddecent (Feb 27, 2012)

A baby with another woman, that's kinda the deal breaker. As if you needed another one at this point.

Sorry to say it, I hope you find someone that treats you better. He'll be doing the same thing to this girl in the near future.


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## RClawson (Sep 19, 2011)

Seriously? You need to know what to do? Save yourself a life of disappointment and move on and do not let the loser off the hook. He needs to be a dad and support you all financially.

Yes he is a loser.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Leaster, RUN don't walk away from this train wreck! Other wise you'll just be delaying the inevitable!

Money is always a problem in marriage especially when kids are involved and if he thinks it was tight with the two kids he had with you, he now has to support a third!

So he wants to keep partying and get a little strange on the side huh? Let him do it. You've already started down the road of making yourself a better person for someonelse who will love, cherish and be faithful to you. Don't stop!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Why do you want this man?

Aside from love, why do you want him? 

Because he treats you well? Because he knocked someone else up? Because he lied to you cheated and abandoned you? Because he stayed out all night partying? Because he just moved in with the woman he got pregnant behind your back?

Please find your self-esteem and dignity and fast. 

There is nothing here to cry over.

He is a cad and you should file for divorce. 

Yuck.

This is about as bad as it gets.


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## CH (May 18, 2010)

leaster928 said:


> Now he says he doesn't want to end it bc he doesn't want to be the heartless guy that kicks out a pregnant girl.


And he left a wife and 2 kids and that's not heartless? Time to move on without him. He's still in party mode and doesn't want the responsibility of having a wife and kids.


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## Jeff74 (Feb 11, 2012)

I will make two points:

1. Think about the type of person he is. Is that really the person you want to be with?
2. The could be excellent news for you regarding custody from a legal perspective. Right to the point...he moved out and abandoned you and the kids...you were left to take care of them yourself...you have a very strong argument to be awarded a very favorable custody arrangement.


And if the rest of your story is accurate, your divorce lawyer is going to have a field day!


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

its also nice hearing those love stories of people who met knew each other than got together. Not sure if your's is a "Love story" but yeah nice stories. 

(imo) you should not be fighting over him wanting to go out and party that should be least of his concern. Of course not all people see the world like i might. I suppose the only things to do is talk this out and see where you are both at and try to see if it can continue to work.


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