# totally bewildered



## Jeno (May 16, 2019)

hi everyone, I'm new to this. First sight I've ever been on for this kind of thing. I guess me and my wife have been growing further and further apart. she wants to spend pretty much all her time with her girlfriend they even take vacations together. I guess mostly my big question is how do I deal with this? and as time goes on it's getting worse.


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## Betrayedone (Jan 1, 2014)

First step.......talk to her about it and then you will have some idea as to where her head is at on this


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## niceguy47460 (Dec 23, 2018)

I would say your wife is cheating in someway . i would say the girlfriend has talked your wife into having sex with other guys and maybe even with her . you should try to find out what they talk about


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## Sparta (Sep 4, 2014)

The answer to all your questions will most likely be on her phone. don’t let her know that you’re on to her or she will take it underground making it even harder for you to find evidence. You definitely want to find out what she’s talking about with this so get a VAR (voice activated recorder) actually get a couple of them. Put one in the house where she normally sits and talks you know her little space, and one for her car underneath the seat with Velcro get all that at Walmart.


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## Steve2.0 (Dec 11, 2017)

Did you go into some type of 'auto-pilot' after you got married? I know i did.

Do you still do the stuff that she liked about you when you dated or did that go away 'because we are married'

Despite what some men do; your effort in the relationship shouldnt slow down after marriage.

Are you fun? being attractive? where would you rate yourself in the 'fun to be around' in comparison to other people in her life. Her husband shouldnt be the boring-est person in her world


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

Start with this: rod

Work your way up to this: Sage lodge

If you want her to be interested in you, do something interesting.


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## TAMAT (Jun 20, 2015)

Jeno,

Your W has emotionally separated from you and is in an emotional affair with this Woman friend of hers, it might not be physical/sexual at this time but there's at lease a 50% chance it is.

In any event no use speculating, get access to her communications, snoop by every means possible, and I think you will have your answer.

Has she said something like "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" to you?


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## TRy (Sep 14, 2011)

Jeno said:


> hi everyone, I'm new to this. First sight I've ever been on for this kind of thing. I guess me and my wife have been growing further and further apart. she wants to spend pretty much all her time with her girlfriend they even take vacations together. I guess mostly my big question is how do I deal with this? and as time goes on it's getting worse.


 Most divorces are not over infidelity. They are for reasons such as this. That being said infidelity should not be ruled out. What is happening could be for 3 main reasons.

1) Loss of affection. She loves you but is no longer in love with you.
2) She is having an affair with another man ("OM") and using her girlfriend as cover for the affair.
3) She is having an emotional affair ("EA") or physical affair ("PA") with the girlfriend.

Regardless of the reason, you have a right to be happy, and what she is doing does not make you happy. You need to sit your wife down and talk to her about this. First ask her if she is seeing someone else. Then ask her if she is having a relationship with her girlfriend. If she says no, tell her that regardless you cannot imagine living the rest of your life like this with her. Tell her that somewhere out there is a woman that wants to make you her priority in life. A woman that wants to spend her time with you. A woman that wants to vacation with you. A woman that would wake up every day and thank God that you are in her life. Tell her that right now that woman is not her. Then ask her if she wants to stay married to you. Ask this question and shut up. If she does not answer after a long silent spell, tell her that her unwillingness to say yes, is that same as saying no, and that you will proceed accordingly. If she says yes, tell her exactly what changes you want of her. Be reasonable, but do not compromise on what you want to be happy.


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## Tony Conrad (Oct 7, 2013)

You need to let her know how you feel. It may come to the point her or me but you don't want to precipitate that if it can be sorted out. Wives do need friends and we cannot keep them under lock and key but moderation is needed here. Her first and most important relationship should be with you. It must be obvious to her what is happening but perhaps you mentioning it would get the point across. Does she still take holidays with you?


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