# Disconnected marriage



## brighteyes (Aug 28, 2010)

My husband and I have been married for 13 years. Up until last year, we had a really great marriage. However, almost a year to date, he had an affair. He was verbally and emotionally abusive. We ended up separating for a few months and decided to reconcile. He was wonderful in the beginning. Now, he has recently started a new career as an attorney. I feel little things have been happening to make me feel like I am in a disconnected marriage. Tonight is a good example, he said that he would be home around 8:30. However, he texted me from one of his male friends phones asking me to come out. I could not due to obligations tomorrow. He said that he would be on the next train out of the city. I looked up the train schedule and saw what time to pick him up. Then a call from his friend's phone again. This time a friend's girlfriend saying "Hi just wanted to let you know that he was alive". When he got on the phone he said what are you doing at the train station? I told him that i was there because he said he was going to be on the next train out. He was like "oh". I don't even remember him appologizing. Make a long story short. I feel like this is so wrong on so many levels. First he was supposed to be home at a certain and not. Then he says he will be at the train station and is not. Then he must have known it was about the time he was supposed to be here and did not apologize. He had someone else call for him. I feel that it is so disrespectful. He is still not home. I feel that we spend little time together as it is. I feel that he does not want to really spend time with me. We have not had sex in a week. I just need someone else's thoughts regarding this matter. I feel like I have tried to be patient and calm because I know he just started this new job. However, I feel like I am low on the priority list. Your thoughts please. Thank you


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Let him know, calmly that it appears things are moving in the wrong direction, particularly if these are the kinds of behaviors he was exhibiting prior to, and during the affair.

Know what your boundaries are. Enforce them.

New job, forging new relationships, meeting workplace expectations is one thing. 
Ignoring or being disrespectful to your spouse is another.


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