# Wife's Weight Is Killing My Sex Drive



## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

I know there are similar posts regarding this, but I wanted to start a new one so I could immediately get some advice. A little background......

We came together after two divorces each (third times a charm, right?). She brought with her two great kids, one from each ex. I love them as if they were my own and have three beautiful granddaughters. When we met she was smoking hot! 38 years old, blond blue 5'4 135 pounds, beautiful face, ass, legs, breasts.....sure a few stretch marks but who cares. I was 37 6'1 155-160 pounds. Our sex life was over the top, and there wasn't much we couldn't/didn't do. I felt as though I had found my sexual/sole mate. Use you imagination.......

Fast forward ....... She's now obese by medical standards. I knew she had gained weight, and she recognizes that she's gained weight, but I didn't know how much until I accompanied her to a doctor visit and they weighed her. HOLY SH*t......175 pounds. I about fell over.

She knows she's overweight (fat) but not much has changed in her habits. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but I'm still the same weight as when we first met, and still love sex. But after THOUSANDS of dollars spent with a weight loss "Doctor" she hasn't changed her eating habits or lifestyle. She'll come home from a doctor visit and proudly proclaim that she's lost 3-4 pounds, and then when we have dinner she doesn't cut back, and then eats popcorn and drinks a Coke afterwards......and I'm still full from dinner. WTH?????

I'm still a normal horny husband, but I can't get past the weight/fat. She's known from day one that a parter's weight is a big deal to me. Sure the kissing and some foreplay get me ramped up, and her too, but when I work my way down her body and over her bloated belly and start to go down on her (I love performing oral) it becomes a turn off when while I'm licking away I look up and can't look her in the eyes as her belly is in the way. And when it comes to PIV it all starts off well missionary, but after she cums a couple of times I can't finish. When her belly makes it difficult for me to really get into her it's a huge turn off. Missionary is about the only position she will do because the others would crush me.

I'm sorry for the lengthy post....venting out of frustration. I've tried to get her to go to a gym, or just do some extended walking, but to no avail. 

I am now a firm believer that if you're looking to start a relationship with someone new, take a look at her mom. That's what you'll end up with in the end.......and I did.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

Start accepting her the way she is. She is born in a family where as you said even her mum is heavyweight. Sex is not about satisfying only yourself. The more you satisfy her, am sure she will do the same too. I do understand there are limitations for you now because of her heavy weight that you cannot do doggy style or stuffs. But just dont keep in your mind that she has gained weight a lot. Afterall, for we men, blowjobs and licking is all matters... so, if she is good at it then pay no heed to her weight.

And lastly, better spend your hard earned money buying sex toys than on doctors consultation charges.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Have you addressed it?


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Imissmywife said:


> HOLY SH*t......175 pounds. I about fell over.


I just googled "175 pound woman" and I think you are over reacting. Once you get over 200 pounds, OK weight is starting to become an issue. 

Here is a 5'6" 175 woman for visual reference:


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Did your sexual adventures include other people? I've heard of women who weren't really into non-monogamy gain weight deliberately (consciously or unconsciously) and then maintain gained weight so that they don't "have to" do the group thing anymore. Some will also comfort eat rather than address their real feelings openly with their partner for fear they will be rejected and seen as a buzz kill.


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

sokillme said:


> Have you addressed it?



If you call talking about it, weight loss docs, trying to get her to improve her lifestyle "addressing" it, then yes I have.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

Imissmywife said:


> I know there are similar posts regarding this, but I wanted to start a new one so I could immediately get some advice. A little background......
> 
> We came together after two divorces each (third times a charm, right?). She brought with her two great kids, one from each ex. I love them as if they were my own and have three beautiful granddaughters. When we met she was smoking hot! 38 years old, blond blue 5'4 135 pounds, beautiful face, ass, legs, breasts.....sure a few stretch marks but who cares. I was 37 6'1 155-160 pounds. Our sex life was over the top, and there wasn't much we couldn't/didn't do. I felt as though I had found my sexual/sole mate. Use you imagination.......
> 
> ...




Yeah and i missed the point about 170 pounds : i believe you expect her to be in perfect shape even after marriage and delivering kids, which is practically very difficult. 
After looking at 170 pounds pic, i now feel an urge to have sex from behind i swear .... lol !!!


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

IndianApple said:


> Start accepting her the way she is. She is born in a family where as you said even her mum is heavyweight. Sex is not about satisfying only yourself. The more you satisfy her, am sure she will do the same too. I do understand there are limitations for you now because of her heavy weight that you cannot do doggy style or stuffs. But just dont keep in your mind that she has gained weight a lot. Afterall, for we men, blowjobs and licking is all matters... so, if she is good at it then pay no heed to her weight.
> 
> And lastly, better spend your hard earned money buying sex toys than on doctors consultation charges.
> 
> ...


What do toys have to do with anything? And you're considering that blowjobs are even in the picture. I love licking, but as I mentioned in my post I love oral sex with her, but when I can't see her face and she won't allow herself an oral orgasm what's the point?


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

badsanta said:


> I just googled "175 pound woman" and I think you are over reacting. Once you get over 200 pounds, OK weight is starting to become an issue.
> 
> Here is a 5'6" 175 woman for visual reference:


A "fit" 175 pounds......not an obese one. I wish she looked this good.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Imissmywife said:


> I was 37 6'1 155-160 pounds.
> 
> 
> I'm still the same weight as when we first met


That seems pretty skinny to me, and it makes me wonder how realistic your expectations are.

You can't help what you find attractive, but I don't think she's the one with a problem in this scenario.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

Imissmywife said:


> What do toys have to do with anything? And you're considering that blowjobs are even in the picture. I love licking, but as I mentioned in my post I love oral sex with her, but when I can't see her face and she won't allow herself an oral orgasm what's the point?




Licking her while she is sitting on the chair or on the table will make you see her face. This is not possible if she lay down in bed.


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## MrsAldi (Apr 15, 2016)

Does she do much exercise at all? 

Maybe the gym is boring to her. 
It can be lonely & boring for her to do it alone. 
Have you tried to get her involved in fun activities that are like exercises such as Zumba, aerobics class or just anything fun like a dance class? 
You could do it with her and it will also improve imitacy as well! 

40 pounds is a lot of weight to lose and requires a lot of determination and dedication, you may need to help with that. 

This is bad advice but I'll tell you anyway, my husband is extremely turned off by larger women, he is vocalising about it the whole time regarding females he works with or on TV, it's terrible and cruel, I know, but it's my motivation to bypass the junk food aisles while shopping and do exercise because I know he'd feel the exact same way as you. 

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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

IndianApple said:


> Yeah and i missed the point about 170 pounds : i believe you expect her to be in perfect shape even after marriage and delivering kids, which is practically very difficult.
> After looking at 170 pounds pic, i now feel an urge to have sex from behind i swear .... lol !!!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


As I mentioned earlier she was at 135 pounds years (6 years after the youngest) after having the kids. I tried having sex with her "from behind", and she asks why I don't want to have face to face sex.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

GTdad said:


> That seems pretty skinny to me, and it makes me wonder how realistic your expectations are.
> 
> 
> 
> You can't help what you find attractive, but I don't think she's the one with a problem in this scenario.




I totally agree with GTdad ...

You never know you weighing that much might be an issue for her too but she never complain about it and have started accepting you the way you were / are...


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

If you're serious about helping your wife lose weight then you need to change your own eating habit. You don't take an alcoholic into a bar and expect him to have a ginger ale. You shouldn't keep unhealthy food in your house if your wife is a food addict. 

The entire family needs to cut sugar, carb and fat out of your meals. Your diet needs to be centered around low caloric protein and fiber. You BOTH need to learn to portion your meal. You cannot eat until you're full and expect her to eat a small morsel.

This is not about your sex drive, it's about her health. If you want her to live a full and healthy life YOU need to put in the effort. Show her that you care more about her life than about her ass.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Imissmywife said:


> and she won't allow herself an oral orgasm what's the point?





Imissmywife said:


> I tried having sex with her "from behind", and she asks why I don't want to have face to face sex.


Could it be the big problem with your attraction to her isn't her weight but rather that there are too many "no's" on her sex list?


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

Imissmywife said:


> As I mentioned earlier she was at 135 pounds years (6 years after the youngest) after having the kids. I tried having sex with her "from behind", and she asks why I don't want to have face to face sex.




Having sex face to face is her choice which she like it ... not everyone like doggy style / from behind...


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> Did your sexual adventures include other people? I've heard of women who weren't really into non-monogamy gain weight deliberately (consciously or unconsciously) and then maintain gained weight so that they don't "have to" do the group thing anymore. Some will also comfort eat rather than address their real feelings openly with their partner for fear they will be rejected and seen as a buzz kill.


Yes, as you can see in my previous posts our sexual adventures did include other people. It's still a huge turn on to me to remember those times, but they were years ago. At this point I would be happy to keep those memories in my mind for solo time, and just want my original hot wife back. 

Why wouldn't a woman want other men besides her husband wanting to get them in the sack? Most guys would love knowing that other women want them. I know I would!


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

IndianApple said:


> I totally agree with GTdad ...
> 
> You never know you weighing that much might be an issue for her too but she never complain about it and have started accepting you the way you were / are...
> 
> ...


I've always been "thin" and that was the way I was when we first met. If she didn't like me that way in the beginning why would she have married me?

She's the one that has changed. 

"A woman gets married hoping to change the man.....a man gets married hoping the woman will never change".


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## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

You can try to find more outdoor activities to do with her - even walking can make a big difference in fitness.

Overall though - people age and its often not a pretty sight - unless you really love them in which case you don't notice. Someday she will be old, grey haired and wrinkled, and you should still love her. 

I've been married 30 years. My wife has gained weight, has wrinkles, has a deformed breast from breast-cancer surgery, scars, blemishes etc. I don't care - I don't see the body, I see the beautiful 18 year old I met by firelight so long ago. There are issues in my marriage, but lack of desire for my wife has never been an issue.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Imissmywife said:


> I've always been "thin" and that was the way I was when we first met. If she didn't like me that way in the beginning why would she have married me?
> 
> She's the one that has changed.
> 
> "A woman gets married hoping to change the man.....a man gets married hoping the woman will never change".


OK, here is some really really bad advice... If you watch porn, limit yourself to only watching stuff to where the women are 200 pounds plus. This will start conditioning you brain so that when you see your wife that in comparison she will look skinny.

It is all relative!

Hope that helps.

Badsanta


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

KillerClown said:


> If you're serious about helping your wife lose weight then you need to change your own eating habit. You don't take an alcoholic into a bar and expect him to have a ginger ale. You shouldn't keep unhealthy food in your house if your wife is a food addict.
> 
> The entire family needs to cut sugar, carb and fat out of your meals. Your diet needs to be centered around low caloric protein and fiber. You BOTH need to learn to portion your meal. You cannot eat until you're full and expect her to eat a small morsel.
> 
> This is not about your sex drive, it's about her health. If you want her to live a full and healthy life YOU need to put in the effort. Show her that you care more about her life than about her ass.


I have a very high metabolism...even at 55 years of age......I've friends who think after all I eat I have a tape worm....if I cut out carbs, red meat, calories my weight would start dropping. I was this "thin" since day one....always have been. She is a true southern gal.....meat and potatoes kind. I always suggest fish, chicken, ground turkey instead of beef. She won't have anything to do with it. "It tastes different". Her idea of seafood is fried shrimp!

She's the one that has changed.....not me.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

I am the "fatty" in our marriage. I view my problem as an addiction. My big problem comes in the late evening. I am good all day and then come 9:00pm I start hunting in the kitchen for crap to eat. The ONLY way I have been successful is to simply not have the food I normally snack on in the house AT ALL.

Alcoholics should never have ANY booze in the house.

Ice cream is my kryptonite. Sometimes I will buy it and then throw it away later because I know I can't control myself. Total addiction.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

BS:

Do you really think that is the mean?


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

Imissmywife said:


> I have a very high metabolism...even at 55 years of age......I've friends who think after all I eat I have a tape worm....if I cut out carbs, red meat, calories my weight would start dropping. I was this "thin" since day one....always have been. She is a true southern gal.....meat and potatoes kind. I always suggest fish, chicken, ground turkey instead of beef. She won't have anything to do with it. "It tastes different". Her idea of seafood is fried shrimp!
> 
> She's the one that has changed.....not me.


I have high metabolism too. I'm 58 years old 5'7" 128 lb. I did it for my wife's health. Why can't you. Besides, high metabolism doesn't mean the bad diet wouldn't catch up to you eventually. Better to start now before you have issues.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

badsanta said:


> I just googled "175 pound woman" and I think you are over reacting. Once you get over 200 pounds, OK weight is starting to become an issue.


You are a little off on the height, and that can make a difference. And he sees her with no clothes on, so I think the pic below is more accurate, but OP can tell us. 

I can sympathize somewhat actually. My wife is 5'4" and close to 200 pounds. She has gained about 55-60 pounds (gaining maybe 30 over the last year during depression) and I have lost 30 since getting married (although, I have myself been overweight during our marriage). We've talked about her weight and she wants to be a healthier weight for a variety of reasons -- longevity, personal appearance in public, and to look appealing for me. I even said recently in therapy that part of my withdrawal of affection was partly because I find her less attractive. The majority of that is actually resentment from our years of sexless marriage, but I cannot deny that her weight gain has contributed to that. We can't deny the reality that men are stimulated visually and when appearances change substantially, it can be a problem for arousal of your partner. Certainly we've seen this with both genders as well with men letting themselves go. Last week she was on me, reverse cowgirl and the weight and force was a lot. I certainly did not enjoy it. She couldn't see that because she wasn't facing me. I let her go because she was loving it. It can be hard to be honest with your partner about these things. It's a delicate balance and I know I am terrible at being delicate... So, I have to just be more authentic and forthcoming. I am working on that. 

I don't know how to effectively convince someone to change their lifestyle to lose weight. If I did, I'd be rich. I have always been very supportive of her diet regimes and made sure that she understood that I would take care of the kids for her to go to meetings, and she could spend whatever she wants. 

Personally, I feel like I cheated. I had events that shook me. I was influenced by the risk of diabetes and my favorite uncle's sudden death. It scared me into changing myself. Not much worked before that. 

Here is a 5'4" 180 woman for visual reference:


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

OP, I would recommend you communicate with your wife your unhappiness with her weight. It might kill whatever little sex drive she has left for you or it may spurn her to do something about it, but at least she'll be taking action one way.

Oh, and for those that are saying 175 is out of shape....it all depends on the build. This is me, 5'4 at 173 lbs. And no, i'm not wearing spanks.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

GTdad said:


> That seems pretty skinny to me, and it makes me wonder how realistic your expectations are.
> 
> You can't help what you find attractive, but I don't think she's the one with a problem in this scenario.


Agreed. I noticed OP hasn't said one thing about her compromised health by being overweight, just her looks and how it affects him.



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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

@Lila hot damn girl! You are working that Lil red dress. You've got great calves. Hot hot hot !

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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

lucy999 said:


> Agreed. I noticed OP hasn't said one thing about her compromised health by being overweight, just her looks and how it affects him.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk




Very true indeed... 


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

5'4 175 looks a lot different than 5'7 175.

It also depends on clothes...colors, styles, heels, angle in photo. 

The best comparison photos are going to be straight on profiles, in underwear. 

I'm 5'7 and a half, 128lbs. Haven't changed much from that in about 10 years. 

I am more skinny fat than fit, but I'm working on getting some more muscle. My metabolism had a major shift in my mid 20s. When I was younger, I reached my heaviest at about 160. That was after the freshman 15 and the additional sophomore 20. Amazingly, I was a vegetarian that had an extremely poor choice of diet. I moved to Europe and my brain underwent a complete reprogramming, from ingredients to portion size to nutritional benefits of certain foods I thought to avoid because of fat content. I learned that willpower, when learned and practiced, actually trains your brain to have more power to say no in the future.

Anyway, diet is not just about food and exercise, it's a complete lifestyle change. It's amazing how we adapt to change when we have to. So that means no more [email protected] food at home. I don't know who this doctor was that you used, but he or she was probably not monitoring your wife once she was out of sight. 

Closet eating is very common and could be why her diet regime didn't work or stick. 

It's amazing to learn the actual caloric content in foods. Easy to Google or get an app like my fitness pal. Also, I read that people who are busier can weigh less. This is one reason my weight hasn't changed. I often forget to eat when I'm working hard. I'm almost always active, on my feet and in the brain. If I'm not sitting on my arse bored, I won't want to eat. 

Good luck.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Europe, right... My older daughter is 5'4" and thanks to Italian food she expects 15+ lb minimum gain . Thankfully she left at 110 lb and walks a lot, like many miles a day, but one euro gelato and three euro pizza is hard to ignore . She's in Tuscany where the food is absurdly inexpensive... (Cuccina Povera or poor people cooking)...


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

john117 said:


> Europe, right... My older daughter is 5'4" and thanks to Italian food she expects 15+ lb minimum gain . Thankfully she left at 110 lb and walks a lot, like many miles a day, but one euro gelato and three euro pizza is hard to ignore . She's in Tuscany where the food is absurdly inexpensive...


Lol, well I guess we experienced Europe in our own ways! I was not in the land of carbs, however, but the general Mediterranean diet is good for you if you have the genetics for it.

I was walking everywhere, kind of like a French woman, with my little crochet bag of groceries. So the walking part, I can definitely relate to.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

@Satya has a good point about the angles, shoes, and such. Here's one at 5'4 173 in a bikini.

Dressed, semi-dressed, undressed......body shape counts. I've never been 'thin' by scale standards but I keep a decent shape with exercise.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

lucy999 said:


> @Lila hot damn girl! You are working that Lil red dress. You've got great calves. Hot hot hot !
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk


Thanks lucy. I may not eat like a bird but I work out like a beast!>:grin2:


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Lila said:


> Thanks lucy. I may not eat like a bird but I work out like a beast!>:grin2:


Yes, if that is you in the bikini pic----that woman obviously has muscle tone, and no overhanging gut.

Whereas the gal in the red bra and undies upthread, does not look like she exercises much at all.

The effects of exercise can be almost miraculous.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Lila said:


> Satya has a good point about the angles, shoes, and such. Here's one at 5'4 173 in a bikini.
> 
> Dressed, semi-dressed, undressed......body shape counts. I've never been 'thin' by scale standards but I keep a decent shape with exercise.


I don't know why, but I always pictured you as some out of shape 80-95yr old woman :wink2:


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

I also had posted this elsewhere, but on the topic of bodyweight/image, I thought this to be appropriate


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

EllisRedding said:


> I don't know why, but I always pictured you as some out of shape 80-95yr old woman :wink2:


Photoshop is AWESOME!!!

This is what I look like IRL.
https://tinawatkins.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/old_woman.jpg


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

Lila said:


> @Satya has a good point about the angles, shoes, and such. Here's one at 5'4 173 in a bikini.
> 
> 
> {removed link at user request (elegirl)}
> ...




If this is really you .... uugggghhhh !!! Then all I can say is your husband is lucky to have you 


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Imissmywife said:


> If you call talking about it, weight loss docs, trying to get her to improve her lifestyle "addressing" it, then yes I have.


No I mean your weight is killing my attraction to you. Address it.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

EllisRedding said:


> I don't know why, but I always pictured you as some out of shape 80-95yr old woman :wink2:


Not me. At least not anymore.

Lila, with all due respect: just damn.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

badsanta said:


> I just googled "175 pound woman" and I think you are over reacting. Once you get over 200 pounds, OK weight is starting to become an issue.
> 
> Here is a 5'6" 175 woman for visual reference:


OP if your wife looks like this then you should get off the internet and enjoy her "company".


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Lila said:


> Photoshop is AWESOME!!!
> 
> This is what I look like IRL.
> https://tinawatkins.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/old_woman.jpg


Nah, I always thought you had more spunk then that old woman, more like this :grin2:










FYI - knock some sense into your H :wink2:


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

notmyrealname4 said:


> Yes, if that is you in the bikini pic----that woman obviously has muscle tone, and no overhanging gut.
> 
> Whereas the gal in the red bra and undies upthread, does not look like she exercises much at all.
> 
> *The effects of exercise can be almost miraculous*.


According to BMI, I'm considered Obese. According to body fat measurements, I'm just within normal range. 

On the other hand, my blood panels show excellent health. At my last physical, the nurse ran the EKG 4 times because she thought the machine was not reading my resting heart rate correctly (it was lower than the 'normal')

Honestly, I think we just have to do the best with the bodies we're given while still living a happy/joyful life. I would be a very unhappy person if the only reason I dieted/exercised was to meet the BMI or 'healthy' body fat standards. 

OP, how did the last physical go for your wife? Was she given a clean bill of health?


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Imissmywife said:


> I have a very high metabolism...even at 55 years of age......I've friends who think after all I eat I have a tape worm....if I cut out carbs, red meat, calories my weight would start dropping. I was this "thin" since day one....always have been. She is a true southern gal.....meat and potatoes kind. I always suggest fish, chicken, ground turkey instead of beef. She won't have anything to do with it. "It tastes different". Her idea of seafood is fried shrimp!
> 
> She's the one that has changed.....not me.


When it comes to body size however like you said you don't really have to do much in this respect.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

@GTdad: no offense taken. TY. 
@IndianApple and @EllisRedding: H is a work in progress. It's taken a while but he's coming around.


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## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

Lila said:


> @Satya has a good point about the angles, shoes, and such. Here's one at 5'4 173 in a bikini.
> 
> Dressed, semi-dressed, undressed......body shape counts. I've never been 'thin' by scale standards but I keep a decent shape with exercise.


I agree. Lila, you make an EXCELLENT point here. Judging from height and weight specs alone is not enough to portray an accurate picture of someone. So, it's difficult for us to judge whether the OP is knit-picking or if he has something to gripe about. That picture you posted clearly demonstrates that. I think the overwhelming majority of men would find the woman in your picture attractive. The difference is that the weight is in the hips/boobs/butt versus the tummy. I found my wife even more attractive when her boobs got bigger, and I told her, but past a certain point and without exercise, weight gain can be less appealing... 

Despite all this, I don't want to sound overly superficial. Appearances are not my top priority in attraction. However, it is in the list... And, I can't judge the OP for his feelings if this has been an important aspect of his desire since being married. However, this is a judgement call. Everyone changes as we get older, but attraction can be a very primal feeling and is not always easy to control...


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

Lila said:


> According to BMI, I'm considered Obese. According to body fat measurements, I'm just within normal range.
> 
> On the other hand, my blood panels show excellent health. At my last physical, the nurse ran the EKG 4 times because she thought the machine was not reading my resting heart rate correctly (it was lower than the 'normal')
> 
> ...


The bolded should be the most important thing. Forget about the physical aspect, how is her health? I would take that more personally if my W was letting her health go.

According to BMI I need to schedule an appearance on Dr Phil to help me change my life before it comes to an end quick lol.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

Lila said:


> @GTdad: no offense taken. TY.
> 
> 
> @IndianApple and @EllisRedding: H is a work in progress. It's taken a while but he's coming around.




Your overall body structure is chubby but your tummy is not bulging at all. I dont know how old you are but its surely a turn on for a 38 yr old like me ... and your breasts  just speechless !!!


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Lila might want to delete those pics before somebody hurts himself.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

wantshelp said:


> Despite all this, I don't want to sound overly superficial. *Appearances are not my top priority in attraction. *However, it is in the list... And, I can't judge the OP for his feelings if this has been an important aspect of his desire since being married. *However, this is a judgement call. * Everyone changes as we get older, but attraction can be a very primal feeling and is not always easy to control...


I completely agree with the bolded. Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. That's why I recommend OP to be honest with his wife. However, there are consequences to such honesty. She's in her mid-50s IIRC. She may decide that the effort of losing the weight is not worth it. 

IMO ,using health concern as the reason she needs to lose the weight will net a better result than telling her she's sexually unattractive. OP has other threads outlining other issues in the marriage one of which is her lack of desire for sex.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

lucy999 said:


> Agreed. I noticed OP hasn't said one thing about her compromised health by being overweight, just her looks and how it affects him.


Yes, and while he should care most about her health, attraction is important. If their sex life suffers, then so goes the marriage. At her height and weight, she IS obese by BMI. If he isn't attracted, it's not something you can just overlook. This is more than just a little age-related weight gain - it is a lifestyle issue. Her diet can lead to heart disease as well - if that were the issue, and not the weight, there wouldn't be any issue here suggesting ways for her to deal with it and for him to help her deal with it. If she were an alcoholic, there'd be no issue with understanding if he lost attraction. This addiction is no different, other than many people share the problem and don't want to deal with it because it's hard to do.


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## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Married but Happy said:


> Yes, and while he should care most about her health, attraction is important. If their sex life suffers, then so goes the marriage. At her height and weight, she IS obese by BMI. If he isn't attracted, it's not something you can just overlook. This is more than just a little age-related weight gain - it is a lifestyle issue. Her diet can lead to heart disease as well - if that were the issue, and not the weight, there wouldn't be any issue here suggesting ways for her to deal with it and for him to help her deal with it. If she were an alcoholic, there'd be no issue with understanding if he lost attraction. This addiction is no different, other than many people share the problem and don't want to deal with it because it's hard to do.


I can't disagree with any of this. It just struck me from the get go that health wasn't mentioned. But of course attraction is very important.



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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

For the people saying "175 seems skinny to me" - for her height, 175 is considered overweight for someone who is 5'4 inches. 

I was 140 and my doctor told me I was overweight for my height (I am 5.3 and a half inches) so I can definitely understand where he is coming from. If I were 175, I would definitely be well overweight for my height. I don't think his expectations are unrealistic. 

I forgot how hard on people the members can be here. 

Anyways, to the OP, do you have any extra money for a personal trainer? If yes, consider hiring one for 2 - 3 days a week. Do your research and find a good trainer (there are lots of bad ones out there). And find one who is willing to train both you AND your wife together. This will be something new that you guys do together. It will take about 6 months (3 if you are lucky) for her to get addicted to it. At first it will seem like a chore, but sooner or later, it will become a lifestyle. Just be patient. And do whatever you can to make it fun. You'll also want to find something else that is fun that you can do together, to up the exercise to 4 days a week. Maybe a fun dance class or something? Bike riding? 

Diet is also a big part of this. Diet is so important for initial weight loss. Throw out all the junk food. Stock the house with veggies and fruit, nuts, beans, healthy food. There are so many delicious things you can make that are healthy and satiating. If your wife NEEDS soda, then see if she can switch to diet coke. Also, cut back on the alcohol! It slows down your metabolism and is loaded with sugar!


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

^^this^^

Bodies are made in the kitchen, not in the gym.


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## GuyInColorado (Dec 26, 2015)

My girl is 5'8 160# and looks perfect to me. But she think she' needs to lose 10-15# (tummy area). I think she gets hung up I'm 5'10 and 170#, she wants to be a lot lighter than me.

My fat ex wife only started losing weight after I divorced her. Ha.


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

lucy999 said:


> Agreed. I noticed OP hasn't said one thing about her compromised health by being overweight, just her looks and how it affects him.
> 
> 
> 
> Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk


Although I didn't mention health in the OP, it is a big concern. She takes BP meds, along with 6 other pills every morning. Her knees are going due to the excess weight, and her snoring is unbearable. Her docs all say she needs to lose weight.
She wants a magic pill she can take that will shed the pounds. Unfortunately there isn't one.


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

Lila said:


> According to BMI, I'm considered Obese. According to body fat measurements, I'm just within normal range.
> 
> On the other hand, my blood panels show excellent health. At my last physical, the nurse ran the EKG 4 times because she thought the machine was not reading my resting heart rate correctly (it was lower than the 'normal')
> 
> ...



Yes, for the most part she's healthy. Hi BP but taking meds. Other drugs for minor conditions.


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

Imissmywife said:


> Although I didn't mention health in the OP, it is a big concern. She takes BP meds, along with 6 other pills every morning. Her knees are going due to the excess weight, and her snoring is unbearable. Her docs all say she needs to lose weight.
> She wants a magic pill she can take that will shed the pounds. Unfortunately there isn't one.


You're looking for a magic pill to change your wife. There isn't one of those either. The whole family including yourself needs to change your lifestyle.


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

There is shapely 170 pounds on a 5'4 frame, and then there's flubber. 

Thanks for all of your input.


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

I've been working with my wife with her weight issue for 22 years. I used to think that all she had to do was eat less and exercise and she would get thinner. It's not that simple. My wife is not a weak-willed woman but dealing with her weight brought her to tears on a daily basis. Going to a gym regularly with a personal trainer didn't help. All the popular weight loss plan didn't help. Only when we took drastic measures and the entire family changed how we live did she shed those pounds. I'm not talking out of my ass. I know what I'm talking about.


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## ChargingCharlie (Nov 14, 2012)

My wife is 5'6" and around 185 lbs (big belly, arms, butt, and thighs). A couple of weeks ago she finally decided that she hates the way that she looks and feels and started watching what she eats and getting out to exercise. She's also talking about joining a gym near our house. Never said a word about her weight - just let her figure out that she needs to make the effort to lose the weight. She's done it before, she can do it again.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

WallaceBea said:


> For the people saying "175 seems skinny to me" - for her height, 175 is considered overweight for someone who is 5'4 inches.
> 
> I was 140 and my doctor told me I was overweight for my height (I am 5.3 and a half inches) so I can definitely understand where he is coming from. If I were 175, I would definitely be well overweight for my height. I don't think his expectations are unrealistic.
> 
> ...



I like this post, a couple of things occurred to me:

@Imissmywife

If you get a personal trainer for your wife, you might want to get her a female trainer. She might feel less self-conscious that way.

And, I have heard that diet soda is just about the worst thing that you can drink.....

How Diet Soda Makes You Fat (and Other Food and Diet Industry Secrets) - Dr. Mark Hyman


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## WallaceBea (Apr 7, 2014)

notmyrealname4 said:


> I like this post, a couple of things occurred to me:
> 
> @Imissmywife
> 
> ...


Yeah, diet soda or any soda in particular is not good for you. But if she has a soda addiction, if switching to diet can reduce her caloric intake even by 500 calories, it is a good start. 

I have a male trainer right now, and he is much better than the female trainer I used to see. She was not good at her job at all, and even had insecurity issues herself that got in the way of her training my husband and I. Male trainers have better attitudes, in my experience, although I can't speak for every trainer out there. 

Someone who specializes in and has experience with rapid fat loss may be a good start. I'd also suggest finding someone who is comfortable with weight training. 

It can be expensive, but honestly, it is worth the money. When I decided to make a change, I hired my trainer for three days a week, and I went and did a huge shop to stock my fridge full of healthy food and snacks. It really helped.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Lila said:


> OP, I would recommend you communicate with your wife your unhappiness with her weight. It might kill whatever little sex drive she has left for you or it may spurn her to do something about it, but at least she'll be taking action one way.
> 
> Oh, and for those that are saying 175 is out of shape....it all depends on the build. This is me, 5'4 at 173 lbs. And no, i'm not wearing spanks.




Was there a pic? Damn if I missed it. 


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## OnAnIsland (Oct 3, 2014)

KillerClown said:


> You're looking for a magic pill to change your wife. There isn't one of those either. The whole family including yourself needs to change your lifestyle.


I don't think the OP is looking for a magic pill at all. I think he's venting a bit, and he's seeking advice from others who may be in a similar situation. This topic, however, always results in a lot of emotion-fueled gobbledy-****. 

It is very easy to be fat in America. A majority of us are some degree of overweight. Women face more challenges than men, particularly after having children. Leaving out the politics and emotion this topic is usually awash in, I have sympathy for anyone who finds themselves putting on pounds and then a bit overwhelmed, unhappy and unsure what exactly to do about it. I have been there myself.

Barring a serious medical issue or (and this is also common in America) serious over-medication, anyone can decide to alter their diet and improve their looks and health. It is not easy. At first, it is not fun. Eating a healthful diet, cutting out or drastically reducing sugar and processed foods, and eating smaller portions isn't rocket science. It does take a decision to be healthier, and a mindset of sticking to it. Just like anything worthwhile that we do. The comment from farsidejunky is absolutely right - bodies are made in the kitchen. I used to eat terribly and impulsively, while also working out a lot. I was strong... and overweight. Now I work from home, take care of two small children and don't have much time or $ to go to a gym. I do some basic calisthenics (usually half-assed) but radically changed my diet. Heavy greens, fruits, protein supplements and lean meats. Far less soda and junk, less alcohol. The change is dramatic. Once you start looking/feeling better, you want to stick with it. Your palate changes too - you crave better stuff. 

The notion of 'everyone in the family has to change their lifestyle' is itself a bit of 'magic pill' thinking. My house is packed with nothing but healthful food. We're not even close to affluent and don't live anywhere near some hipster Whole Foods enclave. Just go to the grocery store and buy kale and apples and oatmeal or whatever - it's cheap. Tap water is cheap. You can eat ridiculously healthy and it costs less than fast food or frozen pizza and Dr. Pepper (mainstays of my previous diet.) The problem is... my wife won't eat the good stuff. She's an adult who makes choices and drives everyday past 2,347 convenience stores, McDonald's and Starbucks. 

Like OP's wife, she 'doesn't like the taste' of most vegetables and won't drink coffee unless it has about 700 calories worth of garbage mixed in it. If she ate better and exercised, just a bit, she'd look and feel great. She would, of course, look a bit different after 7 years of marriage and kids, but she'd look beautiful. But she chooses not to. She lives in a house all set up for success. Want a kale shake? Want to work out with me? Go for a walk? Can I make you some coffee/tea you might like instead of drinking sugar? Nope.

I know its a touchy subject, but losing attraction to a spouse (male or female) because they're not taking care of themselves and are significantly overweight is very frustrating. The anecdote about trying to please your wife and no longer being able to see her face... I understand that, brother. It's awful when the person you love and were so attracted to inside and out slowly changes into someone else. When you know and they know that they could turn things around and feel better, look better, and have a better quality of life. And they choose not to. 

All over this board, there are rightful criticisms of husbands who 'choose porn' over their wife or don't help out with the kids or communicate effectively because those things are 'hard' or don't come naturally. The overwhelming theme of good relationship advice seems to be _just do it_ when it comes to honesty, communication, intimacy, fidelity, seeking help for problems with gambling, substances, health issues, etc. When we have children, we have to _just do_ the hard things - learn patience, read up on hundreds of things, figure out feeding and schedules and safety and schooling. In very few areas of marriage or parenting is 'but you don't understand, it's too hard!' accepted as a valid excuse for not doing the right thing. 

It's easy, very easy, to let one's weight get out of control. When it becomes a problem that is affecting one's health, quality of life, intimacy and marriage in general - then its time to decide to fix it. Some can do it on their own, some need some help, some may discover an underlying medical or hormonal problem that can be addressed. Nothing happens, however, until that person decides to try to fix things. My wife and I both tell our oldest kid 'It is okay to try and fail, but you have to try. You can't quit when something is hard.' If my wife was really trying to change her diet, exercising, seeing her doctor - I'd be behind her 100%. Deciding to not even try these things because 'it doesn't taste good' is seriously affecting our marriage.

Sorry for the rant. *Imissmywife*, I understand. Perhaps your wife, and mine, will wake up one morning and say 'I'm getting in shape. Enough.' Perhaps not. Best of luck to both of you. Just be respectful and patient, but honest.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

The problem to put on pounds is not only an issue in america. This issue is in India also. Am from India and people slogging a lot in their life behind money to pay up home loan for a tenure of 20 years, actually forget to take care of their own health. People outside India are more health consious. This is due to education. In india, people have recently started reading nutrition facts printed on the food packet before buying it. 

Anyways, Bicycle is the best vehicle to burn calories and stay fit, which I have started using it from home to office at my this age of 38.

Here in India, due to work stress, reproduction graph is going down.

Coming to the topic -
I have sex to ease my stress and no matter if your wife / girl friend's body structure has changed drastically, i always believe in giving more satisfaction to the other person... its because when i see her satisfactory face, i feel good and then even she feel an urge to satisfy me too... (but i only get satisfied with blowjobs which unfortunately nobody has satisfied me that way)....


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## itskaren (Dec 28, 2011)

Apologies in advance as I know I'm going to upset people. I just don't believe in this American crap ' it's what matters inside honey .... accept me the way I am.' Bollocks . Tell her she needs to loose weight or you're off .... I mean it.


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

itskaren said:


> it's what matters inside honey .... accept me the way I am.' Bollocks . Tell her she needs to loose weight or you're off .... I mean it.



Very well said



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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Getting a killer body is very simple,

but not easy.

I would say you first need to WANT to do it, then GIVE time for the extra activities (reading, shopping, cooking, exercise), and ENJOY the process.

The systems you can follow are many, and all work for a time. I say you need to adapt your lifestyle and food staple to the wanted target. If you can do that, you are good.


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## StikkyEbi (Oct 5, 2016)

175 isn't as bad as it could be. I probably weigh that much and I'm less "fat" than I am proportionate for my body size. I was considered almost too thin at 150 with my ribs almost showing. I'm not even that tall, only a few inches over the average height for a woman. The right clothes can make anyone look better, but weight shouldn't be an issue unless it causes problems with ones health. However, the best way to encourage healthy habits like working out is to offer getting a gym membership together and working out together. Some gyms are even 24 hours.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

There ARE things that help with fat loss. I am not expert, so research these on your own and form your own opinion. But the following are purported to burn fat, or convert fat into muscle:

Heavy weight lifting
Intense cardiovascular work, like super sets in a gym
(you CAN do body weight exercises at home instead, but they have to be TRULY high intensity...really pushing your limits every time. THAT is why trainers are good, most people do not have that willpower)
Acetyl L-Carnitine 
R-Lypoic Acid
12 hour fasts (i.e. when you stop eating supper, you do not eat another morsel until a full 12 hours later, NO snacks)
No artificial sweeteners (which trick your body's metabolism)
Garcinia Cambogia is touted as an appetite suppressant and fat burner, but take care if you are diabetic.
A "mediterranean diet", based mostly on vegies and healthy fats

Once you lose the fat, KEEPING it off depends solely on upping your metabolism, so you have to maintain that new muscle mass.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

Imissmywife said:


> Yes, as you can see in my previous posts our sexual adventures did include other people. It's still a huge turn on to me to remember those times, but they were years ago. At this point I would be happy to keep those memories in my mind for solo time, and just want my original hot wife back.
> 
> Why wouldn't a woman want other men besides her husband wanting to get them in the sack? Most guys would love knowing that other women want them. I know I would!


You think like a man because you are one. Women do not think the same. We _know_ men other than our husbands want us in the sack. We've _always_ known many men want to get us in the sack because they have been diligently trying everywhere we go since our boobs came in. 

No, what women crave at our cores is security. And, frankly, a man guards what he values most. So, for many women (not all), a man who allows her to be sexual with other men and who is sexual with other women is in effect telling her reptile brain that he does not value her ( he is willing to risk her, after all) and that her position in his life is tenuous. 

Could insecurity and comfort eating be at the root? Maybe. Worth looking into, anyways.



Imissmywife said:


> Although I didn't mention health in the OP, it is a big concern. She takes BP meds, along with 6 other pills every morning. Her knees are going due to the excess weight, and her snoring is unbearable. Her docs all say she needs to lose weight.
> She wants a magic pill she can take that will shed the pounds. Unfortunately there isn't one.





Imissmywife said:


> Yes, for the most part she's healthy. Hi BP but taking meds. Other drugs for minor conditions.


Her health sounds very similar to where I was a few years ago.

Have you researched her medications and checked for side effects? Weight gain is not an uncommon side effect of various medications.

Has she had a complete thyroid panel run? Not the usual basic thyroid check, but an in depth panel? I had high blood pressure, weight gain, dry skin, I was tired more than I should have been, my periods were wonky, I had some odd hair growth on my chest, tummy, and face that I was shaving every few days. I thought it was all just part of getting older. I also developed mild anxiety and depression. And my heartbeat was going wonky every day or every few days for no known reason.

After 3 doctors, 2 of them specialists, I had a thyroid panel run that came back within normal range. Then my insurance was changed and I went to a 4th doctor office under the care of a Nurse Practitioner. She ordered a detailed thyroid panel checking for antibodies and a specific hormone. Turned out, the vast majority of the problems that I had been experiencing and were being medicated for were simply due to Hashimoto's disease. Otherwise known as Autoimmune Thyroiditis. Basically, my immune system is attacking my thyroid and killing it. 

Since the thyroid diagnosis I have been taking a replacement hormone and have been able to go off all of my other meds and those conditions are clearing up as we treat the thyroid. No more blood pressure pills, no more anti-anxiety/depression meds, and I'm steadily losing the weight.

This disease is VERY common among women, especially those who have had children and are a certain age. It's also something worth looking into. There is a ton of information about women's thyroid issues online.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

blueinbr said:


> Was there a pic? Damn if I missed it.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


 @Lila

Don't worry @blueinbr I saved it before she had a chance to delete it! Here it is again!


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## IndianApple (Mar 27, 2016)

badsanta said:


> @Lila
> 
> 
> 
> Don't worry @blueinbr I saved it before she had a chance to delete it! Here it is again!







Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Anyone who thinks diet begins in the kitchen oughta live in Italy... My daughter is living in Tuscany for the semester and a lot of her research work involves the food culture... Let's just say the calorie content there is frightening. Especially 'cucina povera', or 'poor people food' popular in the region. It's incredibly tasty, incredibly inexpensive, and not too diet friendly. Yet nobody's fat there.

She'll probably put 10-15 pounds (she's pixie shaped so she probably needs the pounds). The answer is lower stress, less snacks, much more walking, and fashion that is not as tolerant of extra pounds ...

And the laughable price of fresh vegetables...


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

MJJEAN said:


> You think like a man because you are one. Women do not think the same. We _know_ men other than our husbands want us in the sack. We've _always_ known many men want to get us in the sack because they have been diligently trying everywhere we go since our boobs came in.
> 
> No, what women crave at our cores is security. And, frankly, a man guards what he values most. So, for many women (not all), a man who allows her to be sexual with other men and who is sexual with other women is in effect telling her reptile brain that he does not value her ( he is willing to risk her, after all) and that her position in his life is tenuous.
> 
> ...


A funny thing, or strange thing:

In Europe, this Thyroid thing is never mentioned in relation to weight problems. In the US I see it all the time....

So how can this be very common?? I think this needs an explanation. My conspiracy mind looks for a medical industry trick, something like the statins for high cholesterol.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

john117 said:


> Anyone who thinks diet begins in the kitchen oughta live in Italy... My daughter is living in Tuscany for the semester and a lot of her research work involves the food culture... Let's just say the calorie content there is frightening. Especially 'cucina povera', or 'poor people food' popular in the region. It's incredibly tasty, incredibly inexpensive, and not too diet friendly. Yet nobody's fat there.
> 
> She'll probably put 10-15 pounds (she's pixie shaped so she probably needs the pounds). The answer is lower stress, less snacks, much more walking, and fashion that is not as tolerant of extra pounds ...
> 
> And the laughable price of fresh vegetables...



It's the Mediterranean diet... yes, there is pizza and pasta, but also lots of fish, vegetables and everything is cooked with olive oil... no butter in sight. Also, pasta is usually eaten with a fish or vegetable sauce, rarely you get a ragù... also, PORTIONS! In comparison to America, the portions are tiny. People don't eat junk food either. It's all about having a balanced diet...


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

also, my wife's doubled in size during our marriage... but especially in the last 2 or 3 years... do I mind? Well, if she gets any bigger, I might... the hanging belly is not a great sight and not good when she is wearing tight jeans... I can't really comment on it, since she wouldn't talk to me for weeks, if I did... :laugh: Because of her weight, she is also snoring like hell these days and it's driving me crazy... still a few years to go before my exit... :grin2::grin2:


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

See_Listen_Love said:


> A funny thing, or strange thing:
> 
> In Europe, this Thyroid thing is never mentioned in relation to weight problems. In the US I see it all the time....
> 
> So how can this be very common?? I think this needs an explanation. My conspiracy mind looks for a medical industry trick, something like the statins for high cholesterol.


The thyroid secretes hormones that regulate metabolism. Plenty of information about thyroid issues online. Basically, a malfunctioning thyroid can be responisble for depression/anxiety, heart problems, weight gain or weight loss depending on whether the thyroid is overactive or underactive, issues maintaining body temperature and much more. The diagnosis of thyroid problems is fairly straighforward, just need blood tests to check hormone and antibody levels. The problem is that you need a doctor to recognize the symptoms and order the appropriate tests and many doctors are simply not well educated when it comes to endocrine system issues.

My thyroid is underactive because my immune system is sending antibodies to kill it. The treatment is a single pill taken once a day to replace the hormone my thyroid is no longer producing properly. Left untreated, eventually I would have suffered organ damage and my lifespan would have been shortened.

When I was undiagnosed, I was on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medications, blood pressure medication, and a few other medications for lesser symptoms. Those medications were quite expensive on a monthly basis. The doctors were treating the symptoms, not the cause. Since the diagnosis, I take a single pill and done. If Big Pharma or the medical industry are conspiring, they're doing it wrong because I am now much less profitable.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Ok, but why is it a U.S. only "disease"?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

farsidejunky said:


> Bodies are made in the kitchen, not in the gym.


:iagree:

OP, this gal lost 50 pounds, without exercising, and eating lots of carbs. Your wife might be interested.

Woman who shed 60lbs on a carb-heavy vegan diet says she is slimming down even more by following a POTATO 'cleanse' that allows her to eat fries and hash browns | Daily Mail Online


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## Beeloni (Aug 29, 2016)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok, but why is it a U.S. only "disease"?


It isn't. It is more prevalent here than in many countries or likely it is diagnosed more frequently than in many countries. It also can be fatal if undiagnosed as it can cause thyroid cancer and/or heart disease. 

Lack of iodine, genetics including autoimmune issues, and radiation have all been implicated in hypothyroidism and Hashimotos. I know a bit about it as both my mother and daughter had/have it.


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

Studies have shown that once you reach a weight your body wants to keep you there. That is why dieting seldom works. My wife complained about my weight until she too started to gain weight. Then she asked me how I could still want to have sex with her looking as she does. I told her than when I look at her I still see the young attracted girl I married because I love her and not how she looks. That is what love is all about. Looks fade as we found out in our sixties and whether overweight or wrinkled and filled with artificial parts, we are not going to be the hot people we were when we first married. My wife was always very skinny. She is 4'11" and was 79 lbs. when we married. I kind of like her with some meat on her. Before I had t be very careful during sex. If is grabbed her arm tightly when I orgasmed, I would bruise it. I could not put any of my weight on her sex positions were limited. Looks were never a major concern of mine. I dated hot girls and I was considered a hot guy. In fact, my wife is bi and prefers women but she is attracted to guys but only hot guys. I am not longer hot and that does affect her feelings of attraction to me but her weight gain does not change how I feel about her. She does love me, of that I am sure but her love includes a component of looks while mine does not.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Ok, but why is it a U.S. only "disease"?


As @Beeloni mentioned, it's not. In fact, in the UK "thyroid awareness week" is Oct 15-23 this year. It's estimated that about 200 million people worldwide suffer from some form of thyroid disease. It's just not a glamorous or dramatic disease, so not many people talk about it.


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## Youngster (Sep 5, 2014)

OP, you need to tell your wife she needs to drop the weight. She needs to drop it for you and she needs to drop it for her. Regardless of whether you are sexually turned on by her or not, she is obese and she is shortening her life span. Tell me OP, do you want to get in your 60's and spend the rest of your life alone because she passes away from heart disease?

All this "love her for who she is/I'm not fat just heavy set/I wear it well" is BS. Ask a doctor if "wearing it well" will prolong your life. 

My father had a heart attack. Doctor said if he didn't lose weight he would have another......well he didn't lose weight and guess what. He had another and now he's dead. DEAD DEAD DEAD, and he didn't even make it to 70. The family is a mess because dip**** couldn't put down a fork! 

The older you get the harder it is to lose weight, age does not work in your favor in regards to weight loss. You need to have a frank discussion with her. Tell her some jerk on the internet lost his father due to obesity and you don't want the same thing to happen to your kids!


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Beeloni said:


> It isn't. It is more prevalent here than in many countries or likely it is diagnosed more frequently than in many countries. It also can be fatal if undiagnosed as it can cause thyroid cancer and/or heart disease.
> 
> Lack of iodine, genetics including autoimmune issues, and radiation have all been implicated in hypothyroidism and Hashimotos. I know a bit about it as both my mother and daughter had/have it.


Seriously, it is never mentioned here by anybody. And I am a bit of a health freak. I know much more about weight and health than anybody can bear to listen to.:wink2:


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Once I have been on a long vacation to the US and I noticed several astonishing differences between Europe and the US that I never knew of.

Like the 'Low Cholesterol Chips', I saw supermarkts with chips departments bigger than our total supermarkets. And screaming loud on all sides: 'Low Cholesterol', or 'Cholesterol Free' (I do not remember which one, or both). The point being: The whole issue of cholesterol NEVER EVER mentioned in Europe in relation to chips!!! It was amazing. When returning I checked out anything I could find, but no, no connection to find.

So I am not THAT surprised, but I still wonder how it can be like that in these internet times...


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## Diesel_Bomber (Mar 17, 2013)

Wife has doubled her size and that's cut my desire accordingly. She keeps saying she's going to start using her gym membership but diet pop and TV end up being more appealing. I've put on 60 lbs but I have substantial muscle gains. I've offered to watch the kids....I don't know what to do, sweatpants, a spare tire, and my grubby work shirts aren't a turn on. But like someone else on here said, look at her mom, that's what you'll end up with. No truer words have ever been spoken.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

See_Listen_Love said:


> Seriously, it is never mentioned here by anybody. And I am a bit of a health freak. I know much more about weight and health than anybody can bear to listen to.:wink2:


It's not mentioned much here in relation to weight unless the patient is losing weight without explanation. It's surprising how much of the body the thyroid can effect and how rarely doctors actually run the proper testes to check it's function. Most seem to just treat symptoms separately instead of looking for a root cause.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

MJJEAN said:


> It's not mentioned much here in relation to weight unless the patient is losing weight without explanation. It's surprising how much of the body the thyroid can effect and how rarely doctors actually run the proper testes to check it's function. Most seem to just treat symptoms separately instead of looking for a root cause.


I noticed otherwise over a length of years. I have the impression the thyroid problems are an easy excuse for being obese. And, it is in my view stimulated by the medical industry because then they have something they can treat. Example



> The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism 90(7):4019–4024
> Small Differences in Thyroid Function May Be Important for Body Mass Index and
> the Occurrence of Obesity in the Population
> 
> ...


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

See_Listen_Love said:


> I noticed otherwise over a length of years. I have the impression the thyroid problems are an easy excuse for being obese. And, it is in my view stimulated by the medical industry because then they have something they can treat. Example


I know so many women who are at least 30-50 pounds overweight and cluck with dismay about how just LOOKING at a brownie puts 5 pounds on them. Yet they're always the first ones in line for ice cream or cake at work when it's someone's birthday and they're more than happy to order fast food when someone's going out to pick up lunch. And not surprisingly, more than a few of them have claimed that her 'thyroid' is the cause of her being overweight. 

Just keeping it real.


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

Thyroid disease is real.

And, in @MJJEAN 's case, seeking treatment has helped her to lose weight.


But there's no way in the world that is accounts for the skyrocketing obesity in the U.S.

I lived in Europe many years ago. No anorexics and no giant obese people. The vast majority of people were "regular". No special diets, no doctor intervention.

Where I lived, having a car was rare; everyone walked everywhere.

There were no American-style fast food restaurants.

When I returned there for a visit, many years later, I saw one Burger King restaurant; people still walking everywhere. No giant obese people.

Now, American fast food is going strong; and there are now huge rotund shaped people in the place I lived as a kid.

This all changed in less than 30 years.

If it was due to thyroid issues, then there would have been millions of obese people all through history; because thyroid deficiencies would be causing it.

We don't evolve that fast. Our thyroids are pretty much the same, structurally, as they were in the 1950's.

What has changed is the types of food we eat, and our incredibly sedentary lifestyle.

On the plus side, the U.S. also has fantastic availability of health food and produce. Great health food stores. It's all there if you want to eat well.

It does cost more (sometimes). But what could be worth more than your health?


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

I asked my wife about being correct that I never hear anybody about thyroid problems. 

She said: "If some woman is becoming very skinny, people say she has a thyroid problem".....

That is double or nothing....something is wrong at your side of the Atlantic? :scratchhead:


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

notmyrealname4 said:


> Thyroid disease is real.
> 
> And, in @*MJJEAN* 's case, seeking treatment has helped her to lose weight.
> 
> ...


I agree with all of your post except the last part:

I have seen more than one documentary about the UNAVAILABILTY of not only healthy food and produce, but of ANY real food and produce, in very large urban area's of the big cities.
These people have no access to healthy food, and could not buy it if they wanted it.

Over here healthy food was cheaper than junk food. That has changed a lot, and people are getting obese. There is a growing awareness, and I hope it can be reverted. But that means war with the food industry, they like to addict people to fat and sugar....add even addicting substances to ensure their turnover.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

But lets not turn this thread in a food discussion, OP should just inform himself and maybe advise his wife. It would not hurt if you give the good example with exercise, diet and healthy cooking maybe?


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## notmyrealname4 (Apr 9, 2014)

.


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## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

See_Listen_Love said:


> I asked my wife about being correct that I never hear anybody about thyroid problems.
> 
> She said: "If some woman is becoming very skinny, people say she has a thyroid problem".....
> 
> That is double or nothing....something is wrong at your side of the Atlantic? :scratchhead:


I said much the same thing in an earlier post. 

In relation to weight, the thyroid can be overactive (unexplained weight LOSS, some to the point of looking skeletal) or underactive (unexplained weight gain). Remember, the thyroid is a major player in the endocrine system and is responsible for regulating metabolism. If it is malfunctioning, you can do any and everything to lose or gain weight and it won't make a difference until the thyroid is treated.

Are thyroid problems responsible for the obesity epidemic in the US? Absolutely not. 

From the OP's description, his wife has at least 3 symptoms of an underactive thyroid. An underactive thyroid will, if left untreated, lead to irreversible heart damage. It's something he should definitely encourage his wife to speak to her GP or an endocrinologist about.


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## dianaelaine59 (Aug 15, 2016)

Lila said:


> OP, I would recommend you communicate with your wife your unhappiness with her weight. It might kill whatever little sex drive she has left for you or it may spurn her to do something about it, but at least she'll be taking action one way.
> 
> Oh, and for those that are saying 175 is out of shape....it all depends on the build. This is me, 5'4 at 173 lbs. And no, i'm not wearing spanks.


Why am I not able to see the photo?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

dianaelaine59 said:


> Why am I not able to see the photo?


Things got a little weird with them up so I deleted them.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

Lila said:


> Things got a little weird with them up so I deleted them.


Had @Lila not deleted her photo, this would have played out in this thread!


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

badsanta said:


> Had @Lila not deleted her photo, this would have played out in this thread!



OMG!! :lol::rofl::lol::rofl::lol::rofl:


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

See_Listen_Love said:


> I asked my wife about being correct that I never hear anybody about thyroid problems.
> 
> She said: "If some woman is becoming very skinny, people say she has a thyroid problem".....
> 
> That is double or nothing....something is wrong at your side of the Atlantic? :scratchhead:



I am very skinny and within reason I can eat whatever I like, I have Hyperthyroid that is just shy of being "abnormal". Because I eat so much and am so thin, people think I have an eating disorder and the "fast thyroid" is an excuse:scratchhead:

You can't win, either way. What someone else weighs or what they eat is none of my business.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Imissmywife said:


> I know there are similar posts regarding this, but I wanted to start a new one so I could immediately get some advice. A little background......
> 
> We came together after two divorces each (third times a charm, right?). She brought with her two great kids, one from each ex. I love them as if they were my own and have three beautiful granddaughters. When we met she was smoking hot! 38 years old, blond blue 5'4 135 pounds, beautiful face, ass, legs, breasts.....sure a few stretch marks but who cares. I was 37 6'1 155-160 pounds. Our sex life was over the top, and there wasn't much we couldn't/didn't do. I felt as though I had found my sexual/sole mate. Use you imagination.......
> 
> ...




Dude, did you marry my wife? :grin2:

Same situation here.

Not much you can do.

The over weight spouse has to take the initiative and make that healthy lifestyle change.

Talking about it will accomplish nothing.

If I knew the secret, I would post it here.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

kristin2349 said:


> I am very skinny and within reason I can eat whatever I like, I have Hyperthyroid that is just shy of being "abnormal". Because I eat so much and am so thin, people think I have an eating disorder and the "fast thyroid" is an excuse:scratchhead:
> 
> You can't win, either way. What someone else weighs or what they eat is none of my business.


I do not understand. You say you have hyperthyroid, that would mean people think rightly you have an eating disorder because of it, not?

So the fast thyroid is in your case not an excuse but a correct medical diagnose?


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

See_Listen_Love said:


> I do not understand. You say you have hyperthyroid, that would mean people think rightly you have an eating disorder because of it, not?
> 
> So the fast thyroid is in your case not an excuse but a correct medical diagnose?


I am not yet "clinically" hyperthyroid, I am borderline so it has not been treated. The treatment is killing the thyroid gland in most cases which I obviously don't want. The result is a very fast metabolism so I can eat quite a bit yet I am very thin. I've had people talk about it behind my back and say they think it must be an eating disorder. Thyroid issues can go both ways.


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## CrazyCora (Oct 5, 2014)

OP: From this woman's point of view the struggle is real. Hubby has gained 50 lbs since we got married. He was not a small guy to begin with at 6'2" tall. But 225lbs looks a lot different than the current 275lbs. He gets frustrated with me because my sex drive for him is a lot lower now that it was before. I've told him honestly it's the weight. Let's be honest. Physical appearance and attraction is a BIG part of our drive. The sad part of this is, the overweight partner often has no drive to lose the weight. Then they get bummed out, and eat, and it gets worse.

Once I hit 30 I discovered it was harder and harder for me to maintain my weight. So I worked at it harder and harder. Not just for my husband but for me as well. I wanted to look sexy for him and feel good for me. It really hurts my feelings sometimes that he doesn't want to look good for me. So when people say that wanting someone to lose weight just makes them feel bad I say, them not caring makes the other person in the relationship feel bad.

If you find the magic answer to getting your partner to decide to drop the weight let me know.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

badsanta said:


> I just googled "175 pound woman" and I think you are over reacting. Once you get over 200 pounds, OK weight is starting to become an issue.
> 
> Here is a 5'6" 175 woman for visual reference:


Not everyone carries weight in the same place or way. At 5' 8", when I was 170, I looked FAT.


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

KillerClown said:


> If you're serious about helping your wife lose weight then you need to change your own eating habit. You don't take an alcoholic into a bar and expect him to have a ginger ale. You shouldn't keep unhealthy food in your house if your wife is a food addict.
> 
> The entire family needs to cut sugar, carb and *fat *out of your meals.


NO NO NO. Some fat is necessary. AND triggers the full feeling.


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## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

NobodySpecial said:


> Not everyone carries weight in the same place or way. At 5' 8", when I was 170, I looked FAT.


You misspelled it... Should be "I looked PHAT," and you say it with a huge smile and the utmost confidence! 

Check out what happens to bicycle frames when they get PHAT:










...it can become a problem because everybody starts to get jealous.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

NobodySpecial said:


> NO NO NO. Some fat is necessary. AND triggers the full feeling.


Exactly. If you cut out carbs and fat you're left with protein only, and a prescription for Keto Acidosis. A better prescription is to cut out carbs, keep protein moderate and replace the sugar/starch calories with fat calories. Within a couple weeks of keeping carbs below 50gm per day, and protein under 25% of total calories, you're be in ketosis (not keto acidosis) and you will effectively change your body from a sugar burner to a fat burner. Nothing works better at burning your fat stores than this kind of transformation. It's not exactly easy considering our addiction to carbs and their easy availability. But many people are doing it with great results (including great numbers for cholesterol, blood glucose and blood pressure).


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Alas all of the nutritional information in the world unless there is some insight into what is going on in HER head. HE can't MAKE her lose weight. He can make whatever changes for himself. All good! Hopefully she will follow. But maybe not.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

NobodySpecial said:


> NO NO NO. Some fat is necessary. AND triggers the full feeling.


Good fats.

Coconut and olive oils.

Raw nuts, such as macadamia, pistachio, walnut, and pecan.

Tons of veggies.

Tons of berries.

A few fruits.

Lean meats and egg whites.

No breads or starches, to include whole and multi grain types. Get your carbs from nuts, fruits, and vegetables.

If you combine that with exercise and monitoring your caloric intake, the weight will fall off.


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

And if it was that easy no American would be overweight. Weight loss is a multi-million dollar industry because absolutely none of these formulaic weight loss methods continues to work past the first year. The human body is capable of adapting to any situation including diet and exercise. Eventually the body will settle into a plateau and weight will stop coming off.

If you're not a 40+ years old female with lifetime of weight issues who had tried absolutely EVERYTHING, you have no idea what you're talking about.

I am a high motabo male with virtually no fat tissue. (I can't float in the pool.) I have spent 22 years with this woman and walked this journey with her through personal trainers, meal plans and all sorts of weight loss schemes. Nothing worked until now.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

NobodySpecial said:


> Not everyone carries weight in the same place or way. At 5' 8", when I was 170, I looked FAT.


The girl in the photo must have a caboose the size of a Cadillac because it isn't showing elsewhere. I'd guess her weight at 150.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> The girl in the photo must have a caboose the size of a Cadillac because it isn't showing elsewhere. I'd guess her weight at 150.


It also depends a lot on your frame (skeleton) and muscle base. The girl in the pic may have very large bones (is a real thing!) and a lot of muscle.

I am a small woman but have a large skeleton. My hands and feet, ankles and wrists are much larger than most small women and my shoulders are wider. I also have a lot of muscle (including ice skater thighs) and not much fat (though definitely have plenty). So when another woman who is my same height and dress size tells me her weight, she is usually a full 10 to 20 pounds lighter than I am.


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## tripod (Jun 18, 2016)

I don't care for fat women. It's a sign of poor character generally and a huge disrespect for your spouse if you know he doesn't find fat attractive. It's unhealthy physically, and most obese women have horrible personalities--they're ugly inside as well as outside. 

I know what it's like to get weight under control. In the last three years, I've gone from 212 lbs to 175 because at 5'10" I was tubby, unhealthy, couldn't do a number of athletic hobbies I had--hunting for one. So, I quit all alcohol. Did some research on nutrition--Men's Health magazine and website is very helpful--and hit the gym at least every other day without fail. I've kept the weight off for two years, but I still have to watch it. 

Weight is something a person can control if it's a priority. If she's fat and she knows how you feel, and she doesn't do anything about it, I guess you're just not a priority. Maybe you need to reset your priorities because hers are twinkies, popcorn and coke.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

tripod said:


> I don't care for fat women. It's a sign of poor character generally and a huge disrespect for your spouse if you know he doesn't find fat attractive. It's unhealthy physically, and most obese women have horrible personalities--they're ugly inside as well as outside.
> 
> I know what it's like to get weight under control. In the last three years, I've gone from 212 lbs to 175 because at 5'10" I was tubby, unhealthy, couldn't do a number of athletic hobbies I had--hunting for one. So, I quit all alcohol. Did some research on nutrition--Men's Health magazine and website is very helpful--and hit the gym at least every other day without fail. I've kept the weight off for two years, but I still have to watch it.
> 
> Weight is something a person can control if it's a priority. If she's fat and she knows how you feel, and she doesn't do anything about it, I guess you're just not a priority. Maybe you need to reset your priorities because hers are twinkies, popcorn and coke.


Wow, that is a bit harsh. I would consider that a lot of people are confused by all the contradictory information they hear, for decades long.

It is clear something is wrong because obesity is like a disease in the US. Almost everybody is too fat. When I see youtube vids about all kinds of subjects, I see lots of fatty young men for instance, and I get that that is considered 'not fat at all' in the US. But blaming people themselves is in my view a small part of the equation. I expect that just like the tobacco industry, also the food industry is trying to keep their customers addicted to their products, with physical and psychological tactics and strategies.

So non- or little educated people stand no chance against the industry. And if you are an investor, you can profit enormously from this by investing in the bad-food industry and in the health-repair medical industry. A brilliant cycle of money.


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

tripod said:


> I don't care for fat women. It's a sign of poor character generally and a huge disrespect for your spouse if you know he doesn't find fat attractive. It's unhealthy physically, and most obese women have horrible personalities--they're ugly inside as well as outside.
> 
> I know what it's like to get weight under control. In the last three years, I've gone from 212 lbs to 175 because at 5'10" I was tubby, unhealthy, couldn't do a number of athletic hobbies I had--hunting for one. So, I quit all alcohol. Did some research on nutrition--Men's Health magazine and website is very helpful--and hit the gym at least every other day without fail. I've kept the weight off for two years, but I still have to watch it.
> 
> Weight is something a person can control if it's a priority. If she's fat and she knows how you feel, and she doesn't do anything about it, I guess you're just not a priority. Maybe you need to reset your priorities because hers are twinkies, popcorn and coke.


212 to 175 is hardly an earth-shattering achievement. Ideal American weight for 5' 10" male is 140~180 so you're barely meeting the requirement. Internationally, you're considered overweight. I also wouldn't consider hunting an athletic activity. Do an aerial cartwheel with me and then we can talk. Men's Health is 90% product placement. You don't know what you're talking about.


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## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

Well my wife and I are going through this now. Here I am the overweight one,not her. She is skinny, but she does work out to stay in shape. I do nothing. It is not a priority for me, yes I know it probably ought to be as I have a small boy who I am a father to. 

I told my wife, that its not a priority for me. She says I am being selfish and I suppose in some ways I am, but I don't find eating healthy easy. Her opinion it is all about self control. When I asked her if she could stop bringing so much junk food into the house, she refuses as the problem she says is mine.

Our marriage as been on the ropes for a while, and I do wonder if on some level this is part of ending it.


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## heartbroken50 (Aug 9, 2016)

MJJEAN said:


> I said much the same thing in an earlier post.
> 
> In relation to weight, the thyroid can be overactive (unexplained weight LOSS, some to the point of looking skeletal) or underactive (unexplained weight gain). Remember, the thyroid is a major player in the endocrine system and is responsible for regulating metabolism. If it is malfunctioning, you can do any and everything to lose or gain weight and it won't make a difference until the thyroid is treated.
> 
> ...



I have hypothyroid... the way my doctor explains it is that it slows the metabolism so that it makes it easier to gain weight if you are not careful, and much harder to lose it. Medication helps.

Many medications can also affect metabolism negatively. Steroids like Prednisone, and some anit-depressants for example. 

I have struggled with my weight most of my adult life. I have wanted to make progress for years and have literally tried every diet out there without success until recently. I know that my poor eating habits related directly to my depression... it was a coping mechanism for a lot of medical drama in my family. I also discovered the low thyroid and treating that helps. I also had long periods where I was taking steroids for autoimmune issues and that damaged my metabolism drastically to the point where I would sometimes gain weight even while on strict diets! 

I have since refused to take Prednisone anymore... I would rather have pain from flares of my condition than gain more weight and my doctor agrees for now as long as my symptoms aren't life-threatening. My hypothyroidism is under control with treatment. Between the two it took about a year for my metabolism to recover. 

That said, being able to follow through long term with a new diet plan is very hard, and it's something she will need her own motivation to do. For me, it is the family medical drama that I get motivation from. My husband has is also overweight, has diabetes and terminal cancer and we have 3 children with their own health issues. I think my kids deserve at least one parent that will survive as they grow into adulthood, and that means I have to take better care of myself. I started a new diet plan at the end of March, beginning of April, and I have lost 66 lbs so far. I feel great physically... tons more energy. Still a work in progress, but I'm on the right track.


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## tripod (Jun 18, 2016)

KillerClown said:


> 212 to 175 is hardly an earth-shattering achievement. Ideal American weight for 5' 10" male is 140~180 so you're barely meeting the requirement. Internationally, you're considered overweight. I also wouldn't consider hunting an athletic activity. Do an aerial cartwheel with me and then we can talk. Men's Health is 90% product placement. You don't know what you're talking about.


Well, maybe not earth shattering but better than most as I'm now 70 and in addition to working a 12 acre gentleman's farm and caring for 4 horses, I manage gym at least 4 days a week. If you don't think hunting is athletic, try wilderness elk hunting in the Colorado San Juan mountains. I do know what I'm talking about and have for more years than you've been extant. 

It takes self control and a refusal to be a victim. That's the point.


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## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

lancaster said:


> Well my wife and I are going through this now. Here I am the overweight one,not her. She is skinny, but she does work out to stay in shape. I do nothing. It is not a priority for me, yes I know it probably ought to be as I have a small boy who I am a father to.
> 
> I told my wife, that its not a priority for me. She says I am being selfish and I suppose in some ways I am, but I don't find eating healthy easy. Her opinion it is all about self control. When I asked her if she could stop bringing so much junk food into the house, she refuses as the problem she says is mine.
> 
> Our marriage as been on the ropes for a while, and I do wonder if on some level this is part of ending it.


It's a s#1t test on her part, and you're failing. 

Throw the junk food out. 

Now it's not there. 

Repeat until she stops buying it.


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## KillerClown (Jul 20, 2016)

tripod said:


> Well, maybe not earth shattering but better than most as I'm now 70 and in addition to working a 12 acre gentleman's farm and caring for 4 horses, I manage gym at least 4 days a week. If you don't think hunting is athletic, try wilderness elk hunting in the Colorado San Juan mountains. I do know what I'm talking about and have for more years than you've been extant.
> 
> It takes self control and a refusal to be a victim. That's the point.


Gentleman's Farm, manage a gym, better than most. Classic poser. It doesn't change the fact that you are a fat man who have a hatred of overweight women.


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## Imissmywife (Jan 29, 2016)

IndianApple said:


> Yeah and i missed the point about 170 pounds : i believe you expect her to be in perfect shape even after marriage and delivering kids, which is practically very difficult.
> After looking at 170 pounds pic, i now feel an urge to have sex from behind i swear .... lol !!!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



You apparently also missed the point that the kids were from her ex's. She had the smoking hot body when we met. Some women wear the 170 pounds better than others. 

In another post You also mentioned that sex isn't just about pleasing yourself. DUH! You also missed the point that she had two PIV orgasms (and I might add she gets soaking wet). Even when had an active sex life I never came before she did at least twice, and even before me during quickies.

Like my user name says.......I miss my wife.

"Men get married hoping the woman will never change. Women get married hoping to change the man"!


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