# Revenge only or some value?



## StandingInQuicksand (Jun 4, 2012)

So my OW...initiated, pursued, and handled the whole A very smoothly. Still has her entire family believing that it never went PA although I exposed the PA, naked and very graphic pictures of herself, etc. I offered to provide more evidence but was declined. I really didn't tell anyone else, because this entire family stepped out of every circle of friends, the organization we all previously participated in, etc. They disappeared from the planet so to speak, even though they live just around the corner. So she never really had to "face the music" outside her family. I faced much more "music" than her and never did a thing wrong!

It's now a year out since DD1 and about 10 months since PA confirmed.

I have had the recurring thought to anonymously report her extramarital behavior to her boss (doctor), as well as her personal writing of prescriptions (illegal) using her doctor's script pad to help out family and friends with their prescription needs. Yes, there are definite elements of revenge here. But I also want to keep her from doing this to any other woman. In her role as a ob/gyn nurse, she's got lots of access to all sorts of married men.

I didn't first think of this until maybe 3 months ago. I haven't done it because a) Feels like too much time has passed b) worried that it could "wake up" contact c) worried something similar could be done to H if she or OWH has anything to hold over his head

What has changed now is that I've stopped caring about b and c. Due to recent things my H has done, while I love him, I'm just suddenly not that invested anymore. I don't have that passionate urge to keep him and protect him at all costs. He can leave now. It'll hurt, I'll cry, but I'll survive and probably be better off without him. It took awhile, but this has really hit home for me and I've felt a bajillion times better since.

Anyway, should I or shouldn't I?


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well unless OW used work resources to facilitate the affair, then exposing to her boss is simply pure revenge driven

now the using the prescription pad is flat out illegal and if the doc isnt aware of it then it is a serious issue that should be exposed to him, that notion is altruistic and not merely driven by revenge. You do it because you wish to save others from her careless and risky behavior (I recall she gave you something that threw you for a loop, yes?)


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## Zanna (May 10, 2012)

From what you've posted, this OW seems dangerous and unstable. Exposure to protect others is the right thing to do. If it's merely for revenge, well then I think it will come back to haunt you.

But if your goal is to protect others from her, considering it sounds like she may have drugged you, then yes, definitely expose this disgusting person.

The OW in your situation and in mine (and I haven't posted everything she's done) sound like they'd get along wonderfully. They're both inherently evil.


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## StandingInQuicksand (Jun 4, 2012)

I just keep thinking that if I were a doctor of female needs, bringing babies into the world...I would not want some home wrecking ***** having access to my patients husbands and private sexual info etc. 

She mostly used her personal cell phone to conduct the A but got hotels while supposedly at work. Not sure if she was on the clock during those rendezvous or not...it's possible as I know she was always complaining about how limited her vacation time was.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well put it this way- 

which is more important to the doctor and others?

if you include the affair info, you are going to look like someone with an axe to grind and the doctor may too easily dismiss the RX pad issue

OW may even paint you as a crazy ***** anyways- which is why you need to have some rock solid proof- what do you have?


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Personally, I'd take it as two separate issues... Report the prescription pad issue to the governing medical association in your area. They can easily verify any hanky-panky, I would think. And you could do it anonymously.

The other one... It just seems vindictive and petty, and just as likely to drag you into a mud bath.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anonymouskitty (Jun 5, 2012)

OP, revenge is best served cold.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

PBear said:


> Personally, I'd take it as two separate issues... Report the prescription pad issue to the governing medical association in your area. They can easily verify any hanky-panky, I would think. And you could do it anonymously.
> 
> The other one... It just seems vindictive and petty, and just as likely to drag you into a mud bath.
> 
> ...


this to me seems like the best course, for all you know the doctor could be implicit in allowing her to write scripts


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

anonymouskitty said:


> OP, revenge is best served cold.


Love that Klingon Proverb! :smthumbup:


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## StandingInQuicksand (Jun 4, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> well put it this way-
> 
> which is more important to the doctor and others?
> 
> ...


I have an email where she is recommending the vacation meds for myself and my son, me saying okay I guess better safe than sorry, and her replying that our scripts had been called into our pharmacy. Also in the same email she mentions that she'd provided me (unrequested) with a medical excuse from this same doctor for my son missing a day of school. I never got that from her as I didn't want/need it. I'm sure I can get the records from the phamacy as far as the dosage etc. I also had several scripts she called in for me at the same pharmacy. I can get all of that I'm pretty sure. The doctor would just need to verify that I'm (nor obviously my son) not a patient and never have been...what else do you think I need?


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## StandingInQuicksand (Jun 4, 2012)

But I do want to remain anonymous. I'm sure she is still doing this for other friends and family. She did it all the time. Didn't make money off it or anything, it was just another way she gained people's trust and friendship.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

well that seems like solid proof, it does implicate you directly however, which is something to be considered as you can't do it anonymously


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Sigh. It's not Klingon. Figures.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

I LOLed, LM is so serious most of the time that when he makes a joke it gets missed by some.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Almostrecovered said:


> I LOLed, LM is so serious most of the time that when he makes a joke it gets missed by some.


Kaaaaahhhhhhnnnnnn!


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## anonymouskitty (Jun 5, 2012)

I think lamaga's pissed because LM's been disagreeing with her again


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## Sara8 (May 2, 2012)

Standing in Quicksand:

The OW in my situation did the same thing. Base on the emails and numerous texts and voicemails I saw and heard, she was the pursuer. 

She however after exposure has finessed her way out of too much trouble with her faithful but trusting spouse. He chose to believe her lies.

She claimed it was only an EA not PA and just a harmless friendship that went over board. 

This woman is a serial cheater. 

She is a devout christian and I exposed her to her Pastor stating that I wanted to ensure she was not still seeing my spouse.

He talked to her and she was very humiliated but still insisted it was only an EA. I showed the pastor the letters and he knows it was not only an EA.

Still, he will not tell her spouse, he wants her to confess on her own.

Fat chance.


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## StandingInQuicksand (Jun 4, 2012)

Almostrecovered said:


> this to me seems like the best course, for all you know the doctor could be implicit in allowing her to write scripts



I don't think so. She used to get mad when people would ask her about this type of thing in the public area of her FB page. Her MIL put "thanks for getting me those antibiotics, I'm feeling so much better now" or something and she threw a fit worried that her doctor or another staff member would see it.


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