# How long would you stay with this man?



## FromNeptune (Apr 22, 2008)

Women, how long would you stay with a husband:
1. Is in his 4th bankruptcy which is about to be dismissed and the house will be taken.
2. Even though he works full time, has not had enough money the past two weeks to buy groceries.
3. Had utilities cutoff twice due to non payment.
4. Only one car he uses to drive to work and you have no transportation to shop, see friends, etc.
5. 74 years old but in his defense looks to be in his fifties.
6. Is overweight.
7. Does not have a drug or alcohol problem
8. Very little time spent together.
9. Always need to use some of your money to buy groceries.
10. Owes you thousands of dollars borrowed years ago.
11. Bank account is overdrawn until July 31 payday.
12. No evidence or signs of an affair.


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## tennisstar (Dec 19, 2011)

Nope!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

What exactly are you getting out of that relationship?


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## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

I couldn't stay with someone that wasn't responsible. Everyone makes a mistake and that can be over looked. This is a repeat offender and doesn't seem like he would change IMO. Stop giving him money, you are not helping him.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

I hope you are not married to this man...

If you are dating him, STOP IMMEDIATELY!


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

You stay with him because you feel sorry for him? 

That's the only reason I can see.


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

From Neptune:I am not a woman but if I was I would be gone so fast that the weather bureau would be checking to see if a tornado landed.As a man I would be so ashamed if I was doing half the stuff you described.I probably couldn't look myself in the mirror.I think you know the answer to your question.Good luck.


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## Nikolas (Aug 22, 2011)

I'm actually surprised at the responses here, 

Does the OP work?, She listed just about every household expense so I think it's safe to assume her hubby pays the huge majority of bills, or at least tries, I'd like to know what her financial contributions are to the household?

The fact he's 74 tells me he's already collecting SS, and your likely collecting SS as well, but it's still not enough right? I'd like to know where it says the Woman of the house is allowed to stay at home while the husband is out busting his butt?, Were in 2014 here folks, if your hubby is having a hard time paying the bills, that's when YOU need to step up and HELP.

And what's this business about him owing you money? If that money went toward the household then he doesn't owe you squat. 

74 yrs old and he WORKS, what do you expect him to do exactly?, change careers? The fact that he works says a lot, If he wanted, he could retire, divorce you which is one less mouth to feed, keep collecting his social security and live in subsidized housing, and the only person he needs to look after is himself, and yet he chooses not to do that, he must care for you a lot more than you think.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Nikolas said:


> I'm actually surprised at the responses here,
> 
> Does the OP work?, She listed just about every household expense so I think it's safe to assume her hubby pays the huge majority of bills, or at least tries, I'd like to know what her financial contributions are to the household?
> 
> ...


:iagree: I agree in that a lot more info is needed.


What % of your joint income do you bring in?

What is your and his income being spent on.

How long have you two been married?

It sounds like you two keep your money separate. How are the bills divided up between you two?

What was the cause of each of the 4 bankruptcies?


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## Nikolas (Aug 22, 2011)

This hit a nerve because in my situation I'm paying over 90% of the bills, which are near 7K a month and I'm just making it.. Wife works part time and doesn't earn a lot, to her credit she's looking for another part time job to help out so we have some extra money, We'd like to take the kids to some amusement parks now that its summer break but money is tight with a 3K mortgage payment and 2 car payments, and we hate to rack up the credit cards.

If I wasn't able to pay all the bills and I was working my tail off trying, would that be grounds for divorcing me? this is something my wife would never do, but in the event she did, she'd be screwing herself because theirs no way on her income she could afford the luxuries we have right now.. 

I like this line the best;

"Always need to use some of your money to buy groceries." 

Wow!.. It's as though their not Married, or that he's supposed to provide for everything and any money she gives him toward the household is a "loan".. This cant be real.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

We need way more info. How long have you been married? Aren't the groceries for both of you? Or does he just eat them?


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## inquizitivemind (Jul 16, 2013)

We definitely need more information to make a call on this one. My question is this. If he is working so much, then where is he spending all the money he makes?


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## Nikolas (Aug 22, 2011)

inquizitivemind said:


> My question is this. If he is working so much, then where is he spending all the money he makes?


The way I read it, he's not earning enough.. Now if he was smart he'd be stashing all that money away to plan for divorce, Reading these comments that's exactly what I'd be doing.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

More info needed. Point 4 stood out for me. He's using the car to get to work. What am I missing here?

OP - how long would you stay with this man?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> More info needed. Point 4 stood out for me. He's using the car to get to work. What am I missing here?
> 
> OP - how long would you stay with this man?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OP is the man. If you look back on his previous threads, this has been an issue for a while.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> OP is the man. If you look back on his previous threads, this has been an issue for a while.


Looks like sex is the biggest issue he has with her, but given this list, that is probably WHY. She has no respect for him, cant say I blame her. Not sure why they remain married (considering BOTH sides, here) :scratchhead:


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Read your post 10 times OP, if you still can't figure it out for YOURSELF, I would suggest professional help, you need it.

Matter a fact, I would suggest that right off the bat....just for asking.

Are you serious?


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## PAgirl (Sep 10, 2013)

Read some of your old threads OP. Why do you ask this question? Is your wife threatening to leave? For myself, I would ABSOLUTELY leave. BUT, If I was your wife, I would be working full time and take over the bills and finances myself since my husband (you) is waaayy too irresponsible to manage the bills. Your house is about to be foreclosed? That is a serious situation. Again, what is your wife doing to pitch in here???


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