# Any Men here have their Prostrate Removed?



## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

A dear friend of mine is facing surgery to have his prostrate removed, lymph nodes removed which will be tested to see if cancer has spread to the rest of his body. The down-side I understand is possible impotence and incontinence. Of course my friend is very scared at this time which is understandable, he is only 55. For anyone who has survived the removal of the prostate please share what life has been like for you since.


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## Max.HeadRoom (Jun 28, 2014)

I have something medial too I’m looking for help with and while I have not found what I need I may have found something that may help you.

There are medial support forums where people post like here. I have not used any of them so I cannot make a recommendation.

If you find anything useful please post here as well as it may be helpful to others.

My father in-law had TURP done about 20 years ago at 65 and has not had an erection since. Thank god there are better procedures now for enlarged prostate.

This is everyman’s nightmare.


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## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

Has he had a second or third opinions on the treatment plan? I know 3 people who were in the same/similar boat, two of which were candidates for the nerve sparing surgery. At his age it might not have the best results as someone younger, but it's worth looking into and finding an experienced doctor.





Prostate cancer surgery: Is nerve-sparing safe? - Harvard Health


A discussion of the benefits and risks of nerve-sparing prostate cancer surgery. ...




www.health.harvard.edu


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

I haven't had prostate cancer, but as I near the 1/2 century mark this possibility looms in the horizon (according to the stats), so it's something I think about.

A few years ago I worked with a fella who was 62, nearing retirement, newly married again, looking to spend the golden years in bliss....but just had to get over the hump of prostrate surgery. It went well, by all accounts, but the erection issue happened, as so often it does. He was given Viagra to help, and that put him in the hospital with a severe heart condition. He ended up retiring early, and haven't heard nor seen him since. Needless to say, plans ruined.

From your other thread...


AVR1962 said:


> He then tells me that he has prostrate cancer, just diagnosed. The prostate is going to be removed along with lymph nodes. The lymph nodes are going to be biopsied to see if the cancer has spread. If the test results are positive, it is just a matter of time.


If your ex/bf was my best friend, I'd suggest a few things to him.

--try not to stress and be fearful (easy to say, I know). The stress/fear response in the body exasperates disease conditions exponentially.
--learn techniques to reduce stress/fear.
--postpone surgery (unless it's demonstrable that the cancer is growing hyper aggressively.)
--spend every waking hour on the computer reading EVERYTHING on his particular cancer. Everything from the most common standard of care to the wackiest alternative treatments (snorting apricot seed dust), and everything in between. Become more knowledgeable than your oncologist. (remember, cancer has been treated in many ways successfully before the standard cut, burn, and poison (surgery, radiation, and chemo) became the preferred treatment.
--every stupid/bad habit needs to stop, even if they aren't addictions, like smoking, drinking, garbage food, always indoors, etc.

As Bobert said, a second/third opinion are good. Find out why the lymphs are being removed without knowing if they are cancerous. Try to find out how fast the cancer is growing. It could be super slow growing and not be a cause of concern for another 10 years. The rush to surgery would be a problem for me. (this happened to my Mom with devastating results.)

Anyway, I'm rambling now, needless to say, I'm not a doctor, this is just what I'd tell a friend to consider.

**** cancer!


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

My dad did a good friend did. I'll die first. Serious.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Mr. Nail said:


> My dad did a good friend did. I'll die first. Serious.


Do you say this due to what they endured afterward? I actually know someone who was debating on not having the removal but it was his only chance of survival. He initially was just going to refuse the surgery and face death but when he was talking to his adult sons about his choice they told him that he had grandchildren that would really like him to be part of their life as long as he could be and they too would like the same. He opted to have the removal and is dealing with the impotence. From what I have read each person is different in how they recover, much like anything else.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

My father and a family friend both had prostate cancer. My father relapsed after the surgery and he died. The Friend I am still in frequent contact with.
Let's go over both. But first you need to understand that I do not believe that death is the worst thing that can happen to a person, but it is in fact the one thing that will happen to every person.

Dad after suffering 2 heart attacks due to alpha (type A) personality and cholesterol, got prostate cancer. His treatment actually went pretty well. Losing his beard and having his hair grow back during hormone therapy was cute, but it actually made him more empathetic. He drank a lot of very nasty tasting broccoli. Everything he could find to fight that cancer, and mom was right beside him all the way. But after the relapse and the cancer going to his bones he flat out said that he wished the heart attacks had killed him. He died recommending ice cream and Steak every day. In fact we served a lot of ice cream at his funeral. All the troubles of the operations and treatments was flushing money down the toilet. We bought 6 months. It was no bargain.

The family friend, was an opposite case. He has passed the five year cancer free status at this point. But his treatment was one nightmare followed by the next. The biopsy resulted in an infection that nearly killed him. The hormone treatments left his wife treating him like a child. She had low respect before now she has none. He has to pack extra clothes wherever he goes. It is no life for a fifyish year old man to end up peeing himself if he has to wait for a toilet. He has no confidence. He meets with his doctor and his therapist on a regular basis. His life insurance will end up paying off his dentist. 

My decision is made. Spending time with a dad or grandad in the memory care unit is nothing to look forward to. The CDC doesn't even recommend the prostate blood test (PSA) any more. The treatment is more risky than the disease. I get a regular DRE. I hope the diabetes gets me before the genetic lottery gives me prostate cancer.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I haven't had prostate cancer, nor had it removed, but I have had HOLEP surgery, which essentially removes the inside of the prostate and leaves the shell behind.
It wasn't much fun for the first 3 or 4 weeks after surgery but it wasn't much fun before the surgery either. I recommend that anyone who is having prostate problems look into that procedure.


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## cp3o (Jun 2, 2018)

I have not had my prostate removed - I am confused about your friend's situation - it may be that such matters are regarded differently this side of the pond.

FWIW................

I was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer 6.1/2 years ago - I was 66 years old.

It is classified as stage 4 because it has escaped the prostate and is confirmed by MRI and CT scans to have reached the lymph gland. There was no suggestion that surgery was necessary to obtain this confirmation. It is assumed that because the cancer is in the lymph gland it has entered the blood stream - though, since it has been impossible to detect it elsewhere in my body, there is a tiny chance (less than 1%) that it had not done so. 

Since the diagnosis was that the lymph gland was affected surgery was not considered an option - it would have been shutting the stable door after the horse had bolted. I was told that, had I been diagnosed at stage 3 (meaning that the cancer could be detected on the exterior of the prostate but nowhere else), surgery would have been an option - an option that apparently would have carried a 1-in-4 possibility of my needing a catheter and a urine collection bag for the rest of my life. I think I'm glad that was not an option.

My treatment has been based on regularly implanted pellets which inhibit the production of testosterone - prostate cancer needs testosterone in order to grow. This only works for a few years since the evolutionary process which led to us also leads to the cancer mutating until it produces it's own testosterone. Additional drugs can help slow things down and chemotherapy etc. are available once needed. 

A side effect of inhibiting testosterone production is (almost?) always that the desire for sexual activity disappears which explains why erections are no longer a part of life. The drugs used to combat stage 4 prostate cancer are the same as those used as "chemical castration" when treating some sexual offenders. AIUI, Viagra etc. can provide a physical stimulus, they do not create an emotional need.

*General but important.*

I am told that every man has a 1-in-8 chance of getting prostate cancer. 

If, however, a close male relative (say father or brother) has been diagnosed with prostate cancer the chance increases to 2-in-8.

When, as in my case, 2 close male relatives are so diagnosed the chances increase to 5-in-8 - ODDS ON.

Like many with prostate cancer I had, and still have, no apparent symptoms. It was merely an aside when talking about something else with a good-listener doctor that led to my first Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) test. If he had not been a good listener I'd probably be pushing up daisies by now. Instead I live a good life, many people assume I've retired before reaching state pension age (65), I go to the gym. we holiday, I tend an allotment, walk the dog for most of an hour daily, spend a few hours each week volunteering etc. etc.. 

My son (low 40s) is already getting an annual PSA test and my nephews will also do so when they turn 40. Catch it early and it can be handled so that it has little impact on life or longevity. Leave it late and the only option is delaying the inevitable.

So PLEASE - if you know any men who are part of a family with a history of prostate cancer get them to do what women in families with a history of breast cancer should also do - GO TALK TO A DOCTOR. Don't wait until symptoms arise.


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## Baldy (Jul 18, 2019)

I was supposed to have the prostate surgery, it a heart issue postponed it. In the mean time , I read articles on the web saying none of the treatments offered any better long term survival rate. I ended up with radiation, as I had climbing PSA numbers and a lousy family history for prostate. Talk to as many different doctors as you can, urologists, primary doctors, radiologists, as well as oncologists. I was on a watch and wait system getting my PSA test quarterly. I got three more years before the numbers started to rise.


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## fightforher (Dec 4, 2013)

I have had the surgery to remove the prostate, about 4 years ago. I am so far a success case, nothing detectable with the ultra sensitive PSA test so far. And now I am on a yearly schedule for testing.

My choice was pretty obvious. Every male and male cousin in my family fall into three categories:

1) Prostrate removed and still living
2) Prostrate not removed and dead.
3) Not tested yet. One member of my family comes up with excuses not to be tested.

I think I was lucky and the surgeon was very good at it. In about 4 months I regained control of my bladder and also arousal. I also went to physical therapy to help control my bladder.


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

fightforher said:


> I have had the surgery to remove the prostate, about 4 years ago. I am so far a success case, nothing detectable with the ultra sensitive PSA test so far. And now I am on a yearly schedule for testing.
> 
> My choice was pretty obvious. Every male and male cousin in my family fall into three categories:
> 
> ...


Love your avatar 

ETA: “Gomez, last night - you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. - Do it again!”


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

fightforher said:


> I have had the surgery to remove the prostate, about 4 years ago. I am so far a success case, nothing detectable with the ultra sensitive PSA test so far. And now I am on a yearly schedule for testing.
> 
> My choice was pretty obvious. Every male and male cousin in my family fall into three categories:
> 
> ...


Awesome! And thank you for your reply.


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## FishSpear (Aug 5, 2020)

I just registered to respond to this thread. I'll be 70 this August and I had my prostate removed one year ago. I chose robotic surgery. I have two small (one inch) incisions, one on the front and one on my side. My recovery has been nothing short of spectacular. I admit, I did stack the deck in my favor. I was a long term runner, switching over to a rowing machine around age 65 due to knee issues. I've been at my ideal weight for about the last 30 years and had no previous health problems until the prostate cancer.

My PSA was slowly rising and while not quite 4.0ng/ml my doctor made a referral to a Urologist. That was a big wake up call for me and I immediately began studying all things related to prostate cancer. I spent many evenings hunched over my laptop searching the web, and I read two books, and joined a prostate cancer forum. I educated myself on the nature of my disease and the pros and cons of the available treatments. 

Deciding on a treatment (surgery or radiation), or Active Surveillance (if your disease makes that an option) is a very personal decision. It's a lot like religion and politics, it comes down to what you are comfortable with. I was initially rated a Gleason 6 upon biopsy, which is one of the lower grades of Prostate Cancer. I could have done Active Surveillance, which is where you and your Urologist monitor your disease using periodic PSA tests and biopsies. In most cases you will eventually have to treat your disease, unless something else kills you first like heart disease. A Gleason 6 tumor is one of the slower moving varieties, but its still cancer and it's still growing.

I'm an engineer and I just don't have the personality for Active Surveillance. I had something broken and I just had to fix it. I opted for robotic surgery. Erectile Dysfunction and Incontinence are side effects of surgery. But you can again, stack the deck in your favor by going to the most experience surgeon you can find. Most local surgeons in my area (Wisconsin) have done in the neighborhood of 600 prostate surgeries. The one I chose has done over 12000 and teaches robotic surgery.

I was fully over my incontinence by 6 weeks after surgery. Yes, I do have mild ED, but keep in mind I'm 70. I can usually get the job done with 50mg of Viagra. My removed prostate was examined by a pathologist who upgraded my Gleason score to a 7, a more serious form of the disease. This is not uncommon since the biopsy samples only a small part of the prostate it may miss something more clinically serious. This is one of the reasons I opted to just have it removed. My cancer was contained inside the prostate and the one removed lymph node was clean.

I'm very satisfied with my decision to have it treated aggressively and in my recovery. There is a lot more to this story and I kept a detailed diary, mostly for my two sons (now at an increased risk) and for my cousins (one of which has just started his prostate cancer journey). I kept a record of the information I found and the decisions and trade offs I made. I'm willing to share my diary for anyone who needs more information. Keep in mind, this is my story, and everyone has a unique experience with this disease.

To anyone who has prostate cancer, I'm sorry you joined the club, but you're not alone.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

FishSpear said:


> I just registered to respond to this thread. I'll be 70 this August and I had my prostate removed one year ago. I chose robotic surgery. I have two small (one inch) incisions, one on the front and one on my side. My recovery has been nothing short of spectacular. I admit, I did stack the deck in my favor. I was a long term runner, switching over to a rowing machine around age 65 due to knee issues. I've been at my ideal weight for about the last 30 years and had no previous health problems until the prostate cancer.
> 
> My PSA was slowly rising and while not quite 4.0ng/ml my doctor made a referral to a Urologist. That was a big wake up call for me and I immediately began studying all things related to prostate cancer. I spent many evenings hunched over my laptop searching the web, and I read two books, and joined a prostate cancer forum. I educated myself on the nature of my disease and the pros and cons of the available treatments.
> 
> ...


Thank you for your reply and congratulations on your good health. My fiend is having the robotical surgery that you speak of. He is 55, not issues with weight. His doc feels he will fair well on the other side of things.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

That's great @FishSpear. I also agree against the multiple biopsies involved in the Active surveillance. The biopsy is by itself a dangerous procedure. 
@avr, i'm crossing my fingers for your friend. I do strongly agree that it is a very personal decision.


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## Taxman (Dec 21, 2016)

I avoided testicular cancer when I opted for a vasectomy. My surgeon, felt a lump, and did a visual, he woke me up, told me what he was going to do, and then later that day he put me under and removed my right testes. I played football, and wrestled in HS. I had also had a rough landing on my bike. Any one of which could have injured my testes leading to cancer. I look lopsided, but, my wife thinks its cute, and since no one else (other than the doc) sees me, so what? Prostate issues scare the crap out of me. My dad had prostate surgery, and became incontinent. He also allowed for a full anaesthetic, and should have had a neurological workup beforehand, as he came out of the anaesthetic in full blown alzheimers. There were signs that my mother suspected, but, as I surmise, she tried to ignore. My dad had a fairly aggressive form, and was gone in five years.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Taxman said:


> I avoided testicular cancer when I opted for a vasectomy. My surgeon, felt a lump, and did a visual, he woke me up, told me what he was going to do, and then later that day he put me under and removed my right testes. I played football, and wrestled in HS. I had also had a rough landing on my bike. Any one of which could have injured my testes leading to cancer. I look lopsided, but, my wife thinks its cute, and since no one else (other than the doc) sees me, so what? Prostate issues scare the crap out of me. My dad had prostate surgery, and became incontinent. He also allowed for a full anaesthetic, and should have had a neurological workup beforehand, as he came out of the anaesthetic in full blown alzheimers. There were signs that my mother suspected, but, as I surmise, she tried to ignore. My dad had a fairly aggressive form, and was gone in five years.


Good information to know, thank you for sharing your experience.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Mr. Nail said:


> That's great @FishSpear. I also agree against the multiple biopsies involved in the Active surveillance. The biopsy is by itself a dangerous procedure.
> @avr, i'm crossing my fingers for your friend. I do strongly agree that it is a very personal decision.


My friend did have the biopsy of the prostrate and it was bad. He ended up in the ER twice due to blood clots that cut off his ability to urinate.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

when i had it done, you either had it surgically removed, had radioactive seeds implanted, or sat in from of a radiation source for multiple visits. 
And yes, impotence can really happen. In the surgery, the nerves that let you get hard, are literally draped over the prostate. They have to pull them off, set them aside, and then remove the prostate. Nerves really really hate being touched that way, and will often die. The lucky guys, the nerves go dormant for 6 months, then heal themselves somehow

if i were doing it today, i would DEF check out less invasive procedures. There is an ultrasonic process now that is very promising


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

UPDATE: Robotical surgery to remove the prostrate was performed August 21. My friend received his test result back from the biopsy on the lymph nodes and there was no cancer detected. This has truly been an emotional journey for my friend and he finally collapsed with relief once he received the negative test results. Now 6 weeks post-op my friend, age 55, has had no issues with incontinence. He was able to get a partial erection at 3 weeks and is frustrated that his body is not co-operating for more. From all I have read I am surprised how quickly he is recovering. He has made an appointment next week to talk to his doctor about meds to help him with sexual performance.


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## FishSpear (Aug 5, 2020)

AVR1962 said:


> UPDATE: Robotical surgery to remove the prostrate was performed August 21. My friend received his test result back from the biopsy on the lymph nodes and there was no cancer detected. This has truly been an emotional journey for my friend and he finally collapsed with relief once he received the negative test results. Now 6 weeks post-op my friend, age 55, has had no issues with incontinence. He was able to get a partial erection at 3 weeks and is frustrated that his body is not co-operating for more. From all I have read I am surprised how quickly he is recovering. He has made an appointment next week to talk to his doctor about meds to help him with sexual performance.


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## FishSpear (Aug 5, 2020)

I was in his position about 14 months ago. Trust me, he's well ahead of the curve. Tell him to be patient, his body has undergone a massive trauma and it will take time. Definitely follow his Doctors post surgery recovery plan. I'm sure he'll be given a prescription of Viagra and it's important that he take it. At this stage its used to increase blood flow to those damaged nerves to encourage healing. It can easily take a year for everything to get back to "normal".


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

FishSpear said:


> I was in his position about 14 months ago. Trust me, he's well ahead of the curve. Tell him to be patient, his body has undergone a massive trauma and it will take time. Definitely follow his Doctors post surgery recovery plan. I'm sure he'll be given a prescription of Viagra and it's important that he take it. At this stage its used to increase blood flow to those damaged nerves to encourage healing. It can easily take a year for everything to get back to "normal".


Thank you for your reply.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Just an fyi, it is prostate. Of course, he could be prostrated with his prostate.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

there IS an ultrasonic prostate cancer treatment. I would def look into that before having them cut it out or bombard it with radiation (both of those are boner killers)


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

Talker67 said:


> there IS an ultrasonic prostate cancer treatment. I would def look into that before having them cut it out or bombard it with radiation (both of those are boner killers)


The HOLEP treatment doesn't have that side effect. There aren't many doctors who do it, but if you can get it, I'd recommend it.


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