# finances arguments



## silverpef (Nov 11, 2011)

My wife and I cannot agree on any finances.
I have my paycheck which is the main income, she is bringing in unemployment right now.
We are making it barely, but she doesnt tell me her income or how she spends it, but my paycheck is counted for, every penny is tracked...so if I go to lunch at work, she gets on me complaining that im eating out and she doesnt get to.

She recently wanted to get a loan fro a new bedroom set, around $5000. Then she said that she would pay the monthly payments, I asked her what income is paying it, and she says that she has a couple months of unemployment left, and when I inquired about the rest of the months (yrs)..she said that well have to adjust..I recommended not to get it b/c it would strap us and not give us a few hundred dollars as a wiggle room...so she got mad and angry stating that Im mean and dont understand...


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yea, I don't understand why your wife is spending money you don't have.

Maybe buying things makes her feel secure. I know that sometimes when I'm stressed on money, I'll go grocery shopping because for me, a full fridge means we're ok (that goes back to my childhood). 

So maybe she knows of the money issues and is stressed, but by wanting to buy things, it makes her feel secure? 

I can see your frustration though, and I would ask her what is compelling her to buy things that you don't need/have money for at this time.


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## omega (Aug 2, 2011)

Hold the line on the bedroom set. $5000 is a heck of a lot of money when you don't have it. Do you have a bed? Okay, then you don't need it. 

Your wife is acting selfishly and childishly. This is why I believe in joint everything. My husband makes a lot more than I do but what I make is thrown on the pile and all the expenses and bills come out of the same (combined) pile. The pile is pretty small these days and we both have made sacrifices. And yes, that includes things that I might want to buy (clothes, haircuts, etc) that I just don't. It's called being a responsible adult.

Please don't go into DEBT over a bedroom set. That is just mindblowingly stupid. Sorry. But it is.


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## maccheese (Jul 25, 2011)

I am also the wife on unemployment. Definitely being laid off and having a more limited income (especially with a kid) has taught me to live below my means for a while. I think it helps me though as I am in school and there is a light at the end of the tunnel to gain employment. Your wife should understand that unemployment is a temporary form of income that should not be used to purchase anything long term. Heck, when you have a job with regular income you have to be careful what you buy because jobs can go out the window at anytime. "We" shouldn't have to adjust if "we" don't make the decision together. If she complains that she doesn't get to eat out, then maybe she should eat out with her money instead of buying furniture. You can't have it all, especially when you're unemployed.


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