# Women Prefer Friends to Husbands



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

That's it guys...time to bail. We're beat. 

https://www.indy100.com/article/married-women-prefer-best-friends-husbands-study-research-champneys-health-spa-relationships-8293491


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> *That's it guys...time to bail. We're beat.*
> 
> https://www.indy100.com/article/married-women-prefer-best-friends-husbands-study-research-champneys-health-spa-relationships-8293491


*Another unfortunate downside is that while they're busy having such a great time, with "their female best friends," they'll still bring all of their incessant gritching about everything home "to Daddy!"*


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Yeah, well thats why we say bros before hoes


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Yeah, well thats why we say bros before hoes


Dude...:toast:


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## manfromlamancha (Jul 4, 2013)

Definitely bros before hoes! All that weeding and gardening is hard work! Unless you use the hoe as an air guitar like I do!


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

they lost me after the first sentence...



> However, that part about spending time with your spouse isn't exactly contractual and you are more than obliged to spend just as much time with your friends.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Works for me. 

Keeps em' busy, keeps em' happy.

Works for me, unless they share my share with their friend.

My share is the icing on the crack. My searching for Elmo in her aquarium.... using my pogo stick.




KB-


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

Did you read the comment section?

Well no **** they like spending time with their buddies better. Their no kids, bills, mortgage, responsibilities, ect involved with their buddies.

Hmmm, Kinda like an affair. No body but them to keep the excitement.

****ing imbeciles!


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Well, as an introvert and a loner, I'd probably prefer balancing time with a spouse and time alone (or being together, silently doing our own thing). 

Friends are fine in very, very small doses, but sometimes when I'm around women, the amount of talking is absolutely mind-numbing.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Some of these comments explains why some of you guys either have no luck in relationships or crap relationships. Also, explains why this site is so sickening at times.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

A study done by a spa using responses from women who go to the spa, and no details on if it included single women, gay women, etc. It all reads like a way to promote a "come to the spa with your girlfriends, it's good to escape your boring husband and kids, our study says so!" marketing plan.

It's like the "Eat, Pray, Love" nonsense. Women are paying big money to "find themselves" on these trips now. The funny thing is the author realized after all she'd done and made her fortune, that she loved her lifelong girlfriend the whole time and finally found her place. Gah.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

My girlfriend had lots of friends or so she thought.It never cost me a thought when she choose to meet up with them on our nights out. When we had problems a couple of years ago some of her friends tried to hook up with me. I showed her dozens of texts when we got back together. 
That was the end of that problem.


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> Some of these comments explains why some of you guys either have no luck in relationships or crap relationships. Also, explains why this site is so sickening at times.


coming from a woman hanging out on a relationship help site......this is kind of laughable.

instead of being able to be objective and see something from the male perspective...you insult "some of you guys"

the OP didn't write the article and its fair game to discuss.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

minimalME said:


> Friends are fine in very, very small doses, but sometimes when I'm around women, the amount of talking is absolutely mind-numbing.


Allow me to chime in with a resounding "AMEN!!!" here. I'm a woman. I never hung out with girlie cliques, not even in high school. And the workplace is just a mind-numbing repeat of the same old crap: Better bonding through gossip, talking about their kids all the time, forming their little alliances against some outsider.

An all-girls Catholic high school education pretty much soured me on women in groups.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

x598 said:


> coming from a woman hanging out on a relationship help site......this is kind of laughable.


She is a widow, don't be an ass.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

@MEM2020 @farsidejunky ... why are these woman bashing threads allowed here on TAM? They serve no purpose.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

Prodigal said:


> Allow me to chime in with a resounding "AMEN!!!" here. I'm a woman. I never hung out with girlie cliques, not even in high school. And the workplace is just a mind-numbing repeat of the same old crap: Better bonding through gossip, talking about their kids all the time, forming their little alliances against some outsider.
> 
> An all-girls Catholic high school education pretty much soured me on women in groups.


Do you think, speaking in generalities of course, that women are more "swayed" to do something by their friends, than men?

In college and during the first half of our marriage, my XWW always seemed to surround herself with the most toxic, nosy, know-it-all, chatty, and otherwise annoying friends. I remember her telling me that many of her Sorority sisters thought that she could do "so much better than me" when we got engaged. Did she drop them? No, they were only her "friends" who never approved of me. To this day I think her friends poisoned her mind beyond what I already know. That changed when we really got into the church, and she made some awesome friends over the years. And when they came to the house on Bunko nights? I made myself very scarce, we're talking Bigfoot scarce. I couldn't handle all of the noise :surprise:


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

I wasn't looking to bash anyone.


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

To clarify on the "friends and women" issue, I think it is important to have good friends. I'm without GF this weekend, she is on a weekend trip with some friends of hers and I encouraged her to go. She is constantly texting me though, so I'm not sure how much of a break she's getting!


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Prodigal said:


> Allow me to chime in with a resounding "AMEN!!!" here. I'm a woman. I never hung out with girlie cliques, not even in high school. And the workplace is just a mind-numbing repeat of the same old crap: Better bonding through gossip, talking about their kids all the time, forming their little alliances against some outsider.
> 
> An all-girls Catholic high school education pretty much soured me on women in groups.


"Better bonding through gossip" 
That's funny. 

I'm not looking to join in any woman bashing here, but I would like to share one anecdote. While in the air force, I worked in a maintenance field, probably about 98% male at the time. The full Colonel I worked for retired from service and became a branch manager at a local credit union and suddenly his entire staff was female, from tellers to loan officers, to subordinate managers. I ran into him one day and asked how it was going. He said all the women were driving him nuts with the nonstop catty chatter. He added "And oh my god, they _never forget_!!! With guys, when they get mad at each other, they yell, threaten, posture, maybe throw a few punches and draw a little blood... then they go get a beer together and it's all over. But with the women... it never ends!"

I think he ultimately quit the credit union and went to Home Depot.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Guys,

If you want to be on an all male site, there are many to choose from. 

On a mixed site like this one - the comment below contributes to an antagonistic tone. 

I come here to learn from others. Not to poke half the population of earth in a mean spirited manner. 

And I am reluctantly speaking as a mod - reluctantly in the sense that this is a gray zone. 

Oh and yeah - I’m gonna go read the site rules. If there isn’t a rule like the one below, I’m gonna try to get it added:

A pattern of mean spirited comments directed at a clearly defined group will result in a ban. 




TheDudeLebowski said:


> Yeah, well thats why we say bros before hoes


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## Cromer (Nov 25, 2016)

I love women. You won't hear me say that about the other half the population :smile2:.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

X,

Take it down a notch. A full notch. Red is entirely within her rights to invoke a thread review. 

I don’t get why the linked article is a thing to get wound up over. Interview a bunch of guys who are with their pals and likely get similar complaints. 

The overall tone on this thread does however feel kind of unfriendly and disrespectful. 





x598 said:


> who made YOU the "authority" on supposed women bashing? the link was to an article... and maybe, just possibly there is some truth to it.
> 
> to bad you don't like hearing it and instead just label it "women bashing"
> 
> open your eyes.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

Red Sonja said:


> Thank you mods, some of the more egregious comments have already been removed.


I guess I have a slightly different reaction to such an article...

... my first thought is *why *would women rather hang with their friends than their husbands?

To just jump to the conclusion that it's women behaving badly and that their men aren't at least partly responsible for this phenomenon is rather arrogant and not at all helpful. 

Fortunately, I'm confident my wife, who has a healthy circle of high quality friends, would generally rather spend time with me. I do my best to keep it that way (part of which, ironically, is encouraging to spend time with other women as well). 

Balance is key. 

However, I'm not really offended by the stereotypical woman bashing... and not just because I'm a guy. I've never been offended at all the stereotypical male bashing and jokes about guys who neglect their wives in favor of golf, or how men are only capable of thinking with their "other head," etc. In fact, I rather appreciate all the golf widow complaints and jokes. As a mountain bike fanatic who, if not reminded from time to time, could easily head down that path myself, I like hearing that point of view. It helps keep me grounded in life and appropriately attentive in my relationship. 

I just think it's adequate to respond by saying "If your wife would rather spend time with her gal pals than you and you want to see why, the first place you need to look is in the mirror." Only if you can do that objectively, with ego set aside, and then honestly come to the conclusion you're holding up your end of the bargain, only then can you complain about the missus.


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## Not (Jun 12, 2017)

Haha! Four out of five of the men in the office where I work are just as bad as the women. I thank the powers that be every single day that I have an office to myself! The rest of them have to share office space. When things get ugly I go to my room.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

If you took my bros before hoes comment or the Ron Burgundy quote from anchor man about women having smaller brains seriously, I'm not really sure what to do for you. Those posts were for a laugh. Its Saturday, have a beer and relax a bit.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Red Sonja said:


> @MEM2020 @farsidejunky ... why are these woman bashing threads allowed here on TAM? They serve no purpose.


I didn’t mesn this to be a women bashing thread. I was being facetious when I posted it. 

I think the article is ludicrous.


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

MEM2020 said:


> X,
> 
> Take it down a notch. A full notch. Red is entirely within her rights to invoke a thread review.
> 
> ...


mod

when you say you don't get why the article is "a thing to get wound up over"....who specifically are you speaking to? I don't have a problem with the article. I do have a problem with being called an ass, woman basher etc when I try and point out that there could be factional or relevant data in the article. the saying "don't shoot the messenger" comes to mind. I might even add to that old saying and offer "don't shoot the messenger especially when they might shoot back" . 

and I agree there is plenty of disrespect in this thread to go around.

if you read the article...it isn't a bunch of guys sitting around with their pals nagging on their wives. In fact its just the opposite....it is a study/interview of WOMEN and questions posed to them.

but post to it and its women bashing. I don't get it.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

bandit.45 said:


> Red Sonja said:
> 
> 
> > @MEM2020 @farsidejunky ... why are these woman bashing threads allowed here on TAM? They serve no purpose.
> ...


I understood you loud and clear. Apparently joking around is a touchy subject. I got a Ron Burgundy quote deleted, lol.


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## Cynthia (Jan 31, 2014)

I don't think I'd call it a "study." It's a survey. A study involves a control group and is in the interest of science. This is a survey of a bunch of women who are probably already hanging out with their girlfriends relaxing, so the results would be greatly skewed. There are so many variables that I can think of that would skew the results in this survey compared to a regular population group. I can imagine that if they took this survey in a bar and only surveyed women who weren't there with men the results would be even more skewed.

I've never been to a spa, but my best friend sometimes goes to a spa with her sister. Their husband's wouldn't be attending a spa with them, I can be pretty sure of that. If I asked my husband to go to a spa with me, he would probably look at me funny and ask why I don't take one of my girlfriends. My friend hasn't asked me to go along due to me not being interested in going to a spa.

When my kids were growing up, I made sure they kept up their relationships with friends of their own gender. I encourage my husband to have male friends. If you nurture friendships they can last a lifetime, but a friendship should not require as much time as one's spouse. That is ridiculous. If a woman is spending more time with her girlfriends than she is with her spouse that is not good for the marriage.

I have two very close friends who know pretty much everything about me. One who has been my best friend for over 47 years. We have lived together twice. Once in high school and the year after and we shared a bedroom. Once after I was married while she was still single. She knows my family and my husband. She lived with me while I was dating my husband and was my maid of honor at my wedding. But I would not say that I'd rather spend time with her than my husband, despite absolutely adoring her. She is one of the best people on the planet, but we both put our husbands first in our lives and support each other in our marriages. We pray for each other and for our husbands and children. I am extremely thankful for her, but our close relationship in no way detracts from our marriages. In fact, I think we have strengthened each other in our marriages.

My women friends are very important to me. They are much different than my relationship with my husband and I believe I need them in my life, but I cannot say that I'd rather spend time with them than with my husband. In reality, we spend far less time together than we do with our husbands and that's the way I think it should be for us.



bandit.45 said:


> I didn’t mesn this to be a women bashing thread. I was being facetious when I posted it.
> 
> I think the article is ludicrous.


I also think the article is ludicrous. It in no way resembles my life, even though I love my friends dearly.

Plus the pleasure of a certain activity I enjoy with my husband on a regular basis provides far more pleasure than I've ever experienced in my relationships with any of my friends, since that activity is reserved for our husbands only. I'm sure they would say the same since none of them have a sexual interest in women.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

That strikes me as irresponsible reporting. There is no way their survey is scientifically reliable, as they only surveyed/serve a small, specific subset of the population.

Malarky.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

im going to do a survey of MGTOWer's and see if they prefer their computers to women...

......................................................................................................

RESULTS ARE IN!!!

MGTOW men prefer their computers! WHODATHUNKIT?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

I'm sorry if I am bashing women. But as a woman who observed other women in school and office environments for many years, it became a pattern. Didn't matter the education level. I worked with a Ph.D./Harvard/magna cum laude female when I worked at a teachers' union in Washington D.C. Brilliant woman. She would bad mouth a co-worker to me, then go to lunch with that person the next day. She couldn't stand me because I was neither impressed with her credentials nor did I want to sit around performing hatchet jobs on coworkers. 

I'm sorry, but I've never had a woman boss/supervisor that didn't get down and dirty. Do men do the same? I guess they do, but I've always had excellent working relationships with male supervisors. Maybe I just got stuck with the wrong women. 

But I'll defend my stance on the horrors of an all-girls school. That was downright UGLY.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

FeministInPink said:


> That strikes me as irresponsible reporting. There is no way their survey is scientifically reliable, as they only surveyed/serve a small, specific subset of the population.
> 
> Malarky.


Its a stupid survey put on by a spa. I bet if a golf course surveyed 1500 married men who are out playing golf and drinking beer and smoking cigars with their buddies, the results would suggest men would rather hang out with their buddies than their wives.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

we call this ascertainment bias. nothing new here, nor surprising.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Red Sonja said:


> @MEM2020 @farsidejunky ... why are these woman bashing threads allowed here on TAM? They serve no purpose.


 Did you read the article that this thread is about? It's a man bashing article, but that's OK.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

thedudelebowski said:


> i understood you loud and clear. Apparently joking around is a touchy subject. I got a ron burgundy quote deleted, lol.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Rubix Cubed said:


> Did you read the article that this thread is about? It's a man bashing article, but that's OK.


I wasn't referring to the *article*, I was referring to (some) of the *comments* on this thread (some have since been removed). The article is just silliness, though that's not uncommon these days.

I don't know who Ron Burgundy is, other than it's a film I have never watched (for a reason).

Neither the offensive comments nor the OP contained tongue-in-cheek or sarcasm indicators.

Man-bashing or woman-bashing ... neither is okay IMO. The way the world stereotypes groups of people prevents others from viewing people as individuals, that is wrong and ignorant.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

I read the article - nothing inflammatory about it. And that is what I said. My comment was that if you were to ask a bunch of men in a comparable context - similar questions, you’d likely get somewhat similar answers. 

If you don’t get why calling women hoes isn’t nice, I admit to being at a loss. Or replying to that hoe post with lots of smiley faces. 

And despite you maybe not seeing it there was a ‘now deleted’ post about the size of female brains. It was meant to be funny - but on the heels of the hoes post - was not viewed that way by the mod team. 

So then you bash Blond for objecting to being called a Hoe/female brain size etc. And for clarity I read Blondes comment several times and consider it an entirely appropriate response to the preceding posts. 

As for Red - I’m glad she asked for a review. 

In the spirit of being even handed: Red, please use different adjectives for X. 





x598 said:


> mod
> 
> when you say you don't get why the article is "a thing to get wound up over"....who specifically are you speaking to? I don't have a problem with the article. I do have a problem with being called an ass, woman basher etc when I try and point out that there could be factional or relevant data in the article. the saying "don't shoot the messenger" comes to mind. I might even add to that old saying and offer "don't shoot the messenger especially when they might shoot back" .
> 
> ...


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Yes to this 




Red Sonja said:


> I wasn't referring to the *article*, I was referring to (some) of the *comments* on this thread (some have since been removed). The article is just silliness, though that's not uncommon these days.
> 
> I don't know who Ron Burgundy is, other than it's a film I have never watched (for a reason).
> 
> ...


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

MEM2020 said:


> In the spirit of being even handed: Red, please use different adjectives for X.


Will do, got carried away with that one, mea culpa.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

How is it bashing men? It’s a survey with fairly specific questions. There is a difference between unflattering results, and bashing. 

And fwiw - I do shake my head a bit at this stuff. Marrying someone who is a mediocre companion, shows poor judgement. Frankly I think the article reflects badly on the women who married low quality companions. 




Rubix Cubed said:


> Did you read the article that this thread is about? It's a man bashing article, but that's OK.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

I believe you. 

My honest reaction to the article was that it reflects a sad truth. Which is that men and women often marry people who are not suitable as their best friend. 

Endless threads on this site by men who literally only say positive things about their wives appearance. Everything behavioral is negative. 

And numerous threads by women who have married badly in one way or the other. 

————
That said, even though I am fairly certain the tone was intended to be joking the hoes comment produced a reaction. 





bandit.45 said:


> I didn’t mesn this to be a women bashing thread. I was being facetious when I posted it.
> 
> I think the article is ludicrous.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

I read the OP and thought the entire thread was created for a laugh. The "bros before hoes" saying has been around forever and seemed like an appropriate joking response to a ridiculous article about wives not wanting to hang out with their husbands. 

As for the Ron Burgundy quote, I figured most people would get the reference. 

In no way was I ever trying to bash women. I felt like I was staying within the theme of this thread which read like a joke thread to me. OP has sense said it was a thread created in jest. 

Why the hell is everyone so sensitive these days?


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Red Sonja said:


> I don't know who Ron Burgundy is, other than it's a film I have never watched (for a reason).


You should watch it. Its not an anti woman film or anything. Its a silly comedy and is very pro woman as a matter of fact... If that is what you are worried about. Its funny! Worth a rental, if such a thing still exists in your area. We have family video here. Might be on Netflix or Hulu or something.



Red Sonja said:


> Man-bashing or woman-bashing ... neither is okay IMO. The way the world stereotypes groups of people prevents others from viewing people as individuals, that is wrong and ignorant.


The "study" was a survey at a day spa. When women all get together, they bash men. When men all get together, they bash women. The vast majority of it is just joking around at the other sex's expense when they aren't around. Welcome to earth. Most people don't mean anything by it. I'm guessing these same women, if surveyed at a couples resort, would produce a different result to the survey. I despise the mgtow men and toxic feminists. So I agree with you. However that is a small group of men and women. Can't the rest of us joke around with each other without someone feeling attacked anymore? Can't women make jokes at a man's expense and men make jokes at a woman's expense and everyone just have a laugh about it? 

Seems like everyone is trying to play the victim in 2018. Just looking for any reason to feel attacked and everyone is on defense. Can't even tell a damn joke anymore without full paragraphs of disclaimers attached to it.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

MEM2020 said:


> How is it bashing men? It’s a survey with fairly specific questions. There is a difference between *unflattering* results, and bashing.


 The exact same could be said about the "Bros before hoes" comment and the movie quote. Unflattering. While also being comical, and said with jest. It seems misogyny ALWAYS gets called to the carpet, while misandry ALWAYS gets a pass.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

FeministInPink said:


> That strikes me as irresponsible reporting. There is no way their survey is scientifically reliable, as they only surveyed/serve a small, specific subset of the population.
> 
> Malarky.


The "article" is called "click bait". And boy is it working. Look at all the people clicking to link to read the nonsense.

Ask a bunch of guys having out together and they will give a similar answer that they really like hanging with their male friends because they all "get" each other. duh

I wonder how much that page is earning the site in advertising revenue.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Prodigal said:


> I'm sorry if I am bashing women. But as a woman who observed other women in school and office environments for many years, it became a pattern. Didn't matter the education level. I worked with a Ph.D./Harvard/magna cum laude female when I worked at a teachers' union in Washington D.C. Brilliant woman. She would bad mouth a co-worker to me, then go to lunch with that person the next day. She couldn't stand me because I was neither impressed with her credentials nor did I want to sit around performing hatchet jobs on coworkers.
> 
> I'm sorry, but I've never had a woman boss/supervisor that didn't get down and dirty. Do men do the same? I guess they do, but I've always had excellent working relationships with male supervisors. Maybe I just got stuck with the wrong women.
> 
> But I'll defend my stance on the horrors of an all-girls school. That was downright UGLY.


Gee, this sort of reminds me of the Board of a condo association that I'm recently involved in. The only thing is that it's the male board members and committee members who are like this. They are horrible.. the hateful behavior is board meetings; the hateful, attacking emails; their going to everyone in the community who will listen to them to spread hateful gossip to try to turn the community against the one female board member.

I've worked with a lot of men and women in the 50 some years of work. The women have been no worse than the men. There are petty men and petty women. And then there are those who act respectfully and professionally. This is not a gender specific thing.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

EleGirl said:


> Gee, this sort of reminds me of the Board of a condo association that I'm recently involved in. The only thing is that it's the male board members and committee members who are like this. They are horrible.. the hateful behavior is board meetings; the hateful, attacking emails; their going to everyone in the community who will listen to them to spread hateful gossip to try to turn the community against the one female board member.
> 
> I've worked with a lot of men and women in the 50 some years of work. The women have been no worse than the men. There are petty men and petty women. And then there are those who act respectfully and professionally. This is not a gender specific thing.


The wheel that squeeks the loudest....


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I read some of the article.. Sure there are women who feel this way.. I have met some of them in my life... they don't have satisfying marriages for whatever reason..their husbands may shut them out and/ or be lousy listeners (maybe the women talk too much & it gets on their nerves, just trying to see both sides)...

Men generally want to FIX or get to the point already... 

I can not relate to the article ...just never felt this way.... Everything they listed in favor of GF's over husbands... not always the case... I've always taken everything to my husband ...he's the 1st I run to....before I call a GF to talk.. 

I like to FIX too.. so this helps... but true.. sometimes I need to vent.. and he is a very good listener, sensitive to whatever I have on my mind.....this helps immensely..


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

chillymorn69 said:


> The wheel that squeeks the loudest....


In this case, the wheels that are squeaking the loudest are about to face a recall and a lot worse. :laugh:


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Guys get over yourselves, an article like this pricks your egos and you all go into overdrive? 
Let's be honest, if the wife hangs out with her girlfriends she gets a lot of her needs for time/attention from her friends so it lets you off the hook. You do not have to listen to her 'meadow' reports incessantly when you really want to watch the football or the golf or sneak off to the garage or to your man cave and have some peace and quiet.

We love our husbands but we are not attached to their hips and frankly I love spending time with my friends sometimes more so than my husband. It is very healthy for women to do things together, it is in our DNA and is no reflection on our love/respect for our Hs. In much the same way as its no reflection on your love for your wives when you would rather spend 5 hours at the golf course with your buddies than 5 hours at home with your wife. 

How many of you prefer to spend Sat mornings golfing, fishing, running etc with your buddies than go with your wife to do the grocery shopping, clean the house, etc. Be honest!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

And to quote Tony Robbins, husbands are not hairy girlfriends, they both serve different purposes in a woman's life.


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

Very clever and accurate analysis. 

You can’t be this perceptive and then claim to be surprised by the reaction to your post. You can assert that it is an over reaction, but not that it surprises you. 

Stirring the pot like this - might be entertaining - but - I don’t know - it isn’t very nice. 





TheDudeLebowski said:


> You should watch it. Its not an anti woman film or anything. Its a silly comedy and is very pro woman as a matter of fact... If that is what you are worried about. Its funny! Worth a rental, if such a thing still exists in your area. We have family video here. Might be on Netflix or Hulu or something.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

minimalME said:


> Well, as an introvert and a loner, I'd probably prefer balancing time with a spouse and time alone (or being together, silently doing our own thing).
> 
> Friends are fine in very, very small doses, but sometimes when I'm around women, the amount of talking is absolutely mind-numbing.


Can I too give an "Amen" to this?

My husband is my best friend, and I love his company, even if we're not doing anything in particular, just hanging out at home. There's nowhere I'd rather be than with him. If I'm worried about something, I find his presence incredibly comforting. He's my comfy armchair and warm blanket all rolled into one. When I'm not muttering under my breath because he left his dirty dishes on the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher...again :rofl: .


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

RC,

I am not speaking as a mod, merely a fellow citizen: if I make one of those survey question comments in a bar, nothing physical happens. 

If I call some guys - wife or girl friend a hoe - I expect to get decked. 

As for the jest part - intentions are not easily discerned via text statements. 

And it isn’t funny if it infuriates half the population.



Rubix Cubed said:


> The exact same could be said about the "Bros before hoes" comment and the movie quote. Unflattering. While also being comical, and said with jest. It seems misogyny ALWAYS gets called to the carpet, while misandry ALWAYS gets a pass.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> I've worked with a lot of men and women in the 50 some years of work. The women have been no worse than the men. There are petty men and petty women. And then there are those who act respectfully and professionally. This is not a gender specific thing.


I will have to respectfully disagree with you, Ele. Yeah, I've seen some petty men at work in my day. But the women seemed to have a talent for being catty and behaving in ways that surpassed anything I saw the men doing. Maybe it IS just me, but for the most part I simply don't know how bond with a group or clique of women. I'll thank my dad for that ... he raised me.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Prodigal said:


> I will have to respectfully disagree with you, Ele. Yeah, I've seen some petty men at work in my day. But the women seemed to have a talent for being catty and behaving in ways that surpassed anything I saw the men doing. Maybe it IS just me, but for the most part I simply don't know how bond with a group or clique of women. I'll thank my dad for that ... he raised me.


Then this is your issue, not all or most women. Generally, when we have a pre-conceived notion of an entire group, it's a stereo type that suits our purpose.

I've worked with a LOT of men, after all I was in the Army and then an engineer for decades. And I have known a lot of petty men who gossip, bad stab and are just a pain in the ass. 
I've also known many who are great people. And the same goes for the women I've worked with and for.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

x598 said:


> coming from a woman hanging out on a relationship help site......this is kind of laughable.
> 
> instead of being able to be objective and see something from the male perspective...you insult "some of you guys"
> 
> the OP didn't write the article and its fair game to discuss.


I think she is a pretty good and balanced poster. I like her too.

She did just slam a bunch of male posters but there might be some merit in her statement.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

MEM2020 said:


> And it isn’t funny if it infuriates half the population.


 Seems to have worked well for plenty of comedians.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

MEM2020 said:


> RC,
> 
> I am not speaking as a mod, merely a fellow citizen: if I make one of those survey question comments in a bar, nothing physical happens.
> 
> ...


Nobody has gotten decked for the "bros before hoes" saying. Every guy knows that saying and knows its a joke. It isn't one guy calling any particular woman a hoe. If I get invited out to the bar by my buddies and I decline to be with my wife, and someone says "ah come on man, bros before hoes" I don't take that as them calling my wife a hoe. Nobody does. Its dudes giving other dudes crap, which is what guys do to each other. 

As far as your last statement, most comedy is offensive to someone. That doesn't mean its not funny. 

To Rubix's point, nobody seemed upset at the joke about mgtow men made earlier in this thread. I thought it was a good one anyway.


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## Rubix Cubed (Feb 21, 2016)

Hoe


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Nobody has gotten decked for the "bros before hoes" saying. Every guy knows that saying and knows its a joke. It isn't one guy calling any particular woman a hoe. If I get invited out to the bar by my buddies and I decline to be with my wife, and someone says "ah come on man, bros before hoes" I don't take that as them calling my wife a hoe. Nobody does. Its dudes giving other dudes crap, which is what guys do to each other.
> 
> As far as your last statement, most comedy is offensive to someone. That doesn't mean its not funny.
> 
> To Rubix's point, *nobody seemed upset at the joke about mgtow men made earlier in this thread*. I thought it was a good one anyway.


what are you talking about? that was no joke! it was scientifically conducted research to find out how men think about the value of women vs how men think about the value of computers! it wasnt mean to be laughed at with eye rolls and such, it was mean to be taken VERY VERY seriously. because OBVIOUSLY it applies to every man and woman on the planet. 

incredibly valuable truths can be cleaned from such results. for instance: if a woman wants to make herself more attractive to a man, she should carry a keyboard and mouse for interacting with her. she should also update herself with the latest version of windows. if men want to make themselves more attractive to women, they need more money to pay for more upgrades. 

see? useful stuff!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Then this is your issue, not all or most women. Generally, when we have a pre-conceived notion of an entire group, it's a stereo type that suits our purpose.


Uh, no. Just. No.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

As'laDain said:


> what are you talking about? that was no joke! it was scientifically conducted research to find out how men think about the value of women vs how men think about the value of computers! it wasnt mean to be laughed at with eye rolls and such, it was mean to be taken VERY VERY seriously. because OBVIOUSLY it applies to every man and woman on the planet.
> 
> incredibly valuable truths can be cleaned from such results. for instance: if a woman wants to make herself more attractive to a man, she should carry a keyboard and mouse for interacting with her. she should also update herself with the latest version of windows. if men want to make themselves more attractive to women, they need more money to pay for more upgrades.
> 
> see? useful stuff!


Actually, that's not true. To be really attractive, all a women needs do is turn up naked, under her clothes.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

MattMatt said:


> Actually, that's not true. To be really attractive, all a women needs do is turn up naked, under her clothes.


lol, im sure we can find some scientific and clearly authoritative meme evidence for such a claim!


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Nobody has gotten decked for the "bros before hoes" saying. Every guy knows that saying and knows its a joke. It isn't one guy calling any particular woman a hoe. If I get invited out to the bar by my buddies and I decline to be with my wife, and someone says "ah come on man, bros before hoes" I don't take that as them calling my wife a hoe. Nobody does. Its dudes giving other dudes crap, which is what guys do to each other.


I believe you. However, would you use the phase in mixed gender company? Any man who does might be decked or dropped like a hot rock by his SO. I would do the latter, women who value themselves do not put up with being demeaned even in jest.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Red Sonja said:


> I believe you. However, would you use the phase in mixed gender company? Any man who does might be decked or dropped like a hot rock by his SO. I would do the latter, women who value themselves do not put up with being demeaned even in jest.


I wouldn't use that phrase in any company, mixed or not, but that's just me.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I just love the double standards. Can't make a joke about Bros but man feel free to let loose on MGTOW. The "even handedness" of this entire thread just make me want to laugh. Political correctness at its best.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Red Sonja said:


> TheDudeLebowski said:
> 
> 
> > Nobody has gotten decked for the "bros before hoes" saying. Every guy knows that saying and knows its a joke. It isn't one guy calling any particular woman a hoe. If I get invited out to the bar by my buddies and I decline to be with my wife, and someone says "ah come on man, bros before hoes" I don't take that as them calling my wife a hoe. Nobody does. Its dudes giving other dudes crap, which is what guys do to each other.
> ...


Yes I would and I also wouldn't be afraid if getting decked. If you are the type who can't take a joke, I wouldn't be hanging out with you in the first place. The thing is I tend to only hang out with people who can take a joke and take a little crap talk and can dish it out equally. I might expect a girl to tell me to stfu and a punch in the arm, but it's all in good fun. Or I might expect her to make fun of me in some way back, give me hell about something. 

People can still tell jokes and have a laugh. I also wouldn't ever expect my wife to punch some girl who makes a joke about men at my expense in my presence. See, we are the type of people who can laugh at jokes. Seems rare these days.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Yes I would and I also wouldn't be afraid if getting decked. If you are the type who can't take a joke, I wouldn't be hanging out with you in the first place. The thing is I tend to only hang out with people who can take a joke and take a little crap talk and can dish it out equally. I might expect a girl to tell me to stfu and a punch in the arm, but it's all in good fun. Or I might expect her to make fun of me in some way back, give me hell about something.
> 
> People can still tell jokes and have a laugh. I also wouldn't ever expect my wife to punch some girl who makes a joke about men at my expense in my presence. See, we are the type of people who can laugh at jokes. Seems rare these days.


I have a well-developed sense of humor and sarcasm however that does not include "jokes" made at the expense (or insult) of others. That said, we will have to agree to disagree.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

I


Red Sonja said:


> I believe you. However, would you use the phase in mixed gender company? Any man who does might be decked or dropped like a hot rock by his SO. I would do the latter, women who value themselves do not put up with being demeaned even in jest.


Joke around a lot and am totally misogynistic (brutally) when joking with Mrs. Conan but she has free reign to beat the living crap out of me as I laugh myself to death. She usually gives up because I am kissing her everywhere as she roughs me up!:grin2:

Even so, if a guy says "bro's before ho's" when referring to me and Mrs. Conan, it would have everyone in the room backing away from the walking dead because no one talks about my wife like that and anyone that knows me at all knows not to ever cross that line.

I don't think it is funny and honesty never have.

I don't take offense if a couple of guys are just lightheartedly joking between themselves but it always sours my mood.


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## Windwalker (Mar 19, 2014)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Yes I would and I also wouldn't be afraid if getting decked. If you are the type who can't take a joke, I wouldn't be hanging out with you in the first place. The thing is I tend to only hang out with people who can take a joke and take a little crap talk and can dish it out equally. I might expect a girl to tell me to stfu and a punch in the arm, but it's all in good fun. Or I might expect her to make fun of me in some way back, give me hell about something.
> 
> People can still tell jokes and have a laugh. I also wouldn't ever expect my wife to punch some girl who makes a joke about men at my expense in my presence. See, we are the type of people who can laugh at jokes. Seems rare these days.


Dude, you're wasting your time.
You might as well be pissing in the wind.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Yes I would and I also wouldn't be afraid if getting decked. If you are the type who can't take a joke, I wouldn't be hanging out with you in the first place. The thing is I tend to only hang out with people who can take a joke and take a little crap talk and can dish it out equally. I might expect a girl to tell me to stfu and a punch in the arm, but it's all in good fun. Or I might expect her to make fun of me in some way back, give me hell about something.
> 
> People can still tell jokes and have a laugh. I also wouldn't ever expect my wife to punch some girl who makes a joke about men at my expense in my presence. See, we are the type of people who can laugh at jokes. Seems rare these days.


I get what you are saying Dude. I've just never liked the bros and hoes saying and there has been a lot of joking around in my circle of family and friends.

Thoughts and motivations don't always translate well over the screen. I have been misinterpreted more than once and had to explain my way through it.

I don't think you were trying to seriously slam women. Just being humorous.:laugh:


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

Women used to have sisters,aunts mothers and grandmothers for help and support. Studies confirm young girls converse several times as much as little boys who mainly make grunting noises. This is all in tune with our biological roles. 

In my experience though, the last people women can trust around their man is their friends and female relatives. Ironic ain’t it?


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

ConanHub said:


> I get what you are saying Dude. I've just never liked the bros and hoes saying and there has been a lot of joking around in my circle of family and friends.
> 
> Thoughts and motivations don't always translate well over the screen. I have been misinterpreted more than once and had to explain my way through it.
> 
> I don't think you were trying to seriously slam women. Just being humorous.<a href="http://cdn.talkaboutmarriage.net/images/TAMarriage_2015/smilies/tango_face_smile_big.png" border="0" alt="" title="Laugh" ></a>


See, I've always seen it as a diss on the guy not on his wife. Its like the number of times I've had to hear about a sexual conquest a friend has had with my mom for example. Lol. Its dudes just talkin crap to you. All in good fun, nobody wants to fight. You just slam them back with something else.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

TheDudeLebowski said:


> See, I've always seen it as a diss on the guy not on his wife. Its like the number of times I've had to hear about a sexual conquest a friend has had with my mom for example. Lol. Its dudes just talkin crap to you. All in good fun, nobody wants to fight. You just slam them back with something else.


Different cultures. Nobody talked **** about mothers or wives where I came from. Sisters or cousins were occasionally ok to joke about but even then it was shaky ground.

I scared the hell out of a guy when I was 12 because he disrespected my grandmother. He was giving me a hard time, he was 14, about 3 inches taller than me and 25 lbs. heavier. I got death in my eye and made him eat his words.

Nobody messed with the women in your family where I came from. I have seen movies where kids were talking like you have given examples of.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

ConanHub said:


> Different cultures. Nobody talked **** about mothers or wives where I came from. Sisters or cousins were occasionally ok to joke about but even then it was shaky ground.
> 
> I scared the hell out of a guy when I was 12 because he disrespected my grandmother. He was giving me a hard time, he was 14, about 3 inches taller than me and 25 lbs. heavier. I got death in my eye and made him eat his words.
> 
> Nobody messed with the women in your family where I came from. I have seen movies where kids were talking like you have given examples of.


A buddy of mine from Cambodia has told me that talking about someone's mother will get you killed over there. 

It's taken very seriously.


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## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

lifeistooshort said:


> A buddy of mine from Cambodia has told me that talking about someone's mother will get you killed over there.
> 
> It's taken very seriously.


Yeah. It has always been "fighting" words where I am from.

Nobody talked like that unless they were looking for a fight.


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## TheDudeLebowski (Oct 10, 2017)

Ill give you an example of a typical back and forth in my circle. My Muslim friend walks up to me holding his back and says "uh, threw my back out banging your mom last night." And ill hit him back with "its probably all that bending over and bowing you do every day with your Isis buddies" then we both laugh and talk about the basketball game last night. 

Or ill see my Mexican buddies talking to each other and ill walk up and say something like "are y'all planning for cinco de mayo over here or something?" And they hit me back with "nah we're planning out who goes first with your mom." And we all laugh. 

Its just talking crap. Nobody takes anything seriously. You try to hit em with a good one where they have nothing to say back, which is rare. We all love each other at the end of the day and will always have each others backs.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Ey? I dunno, amongst the closest of friends, even fighting words can be used to tease and muck around with. Like you said, don't take everything so seriously.

Strangers though? That's asking for a beat-down. If in a secluded place, break him. If in a public place, just keep walking.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

I think calling a woman/girl a 'ho' is totally disrespectful and I don't care what culture you come from. It's connotations are totally derogatory. It is not a joke, it doesn't make you sound 'tough' or 'funny.' 
Words like 'hoe' '****' 'slag' etc. degrade women whatever context they are used in and they attempt to shame women or restrict them in some way. 
What if we women started saying you were '***** whipped' or too much of a 'sissy' , does that sound respectful?


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

LOL.....

I have some wonderful female friends, some of whom I have known for over 30 years.

Not one of them holds a candle to my hubby.

I guess I just got one of the good ones.

OR generalizations really ARE intellectually lazy.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> That's it guys...time to bail. We're beat.
> 
> https://www.indy100.com/article/married-women-prefer-best-friends-husbands-study-research-champneys-health-spa-relationships-8293491


LOL...... just because it's printed, doesn't make it true. Stuff like this gets posted to gauge reactions and clicks.

All the media moguls want us to do is beach and complain, argue about it...... to keep our minds off of

the fact.... the corporate elite is running off...... with all the Fing money. Pull up George Carlin's thoughts on this.

Guess I'm the oddball.... except near the end when we both knew it was over.... I have the females

"up my ass" all the time. That's not a bad thing....


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