# Been a rough couple of years, not sure where to go from here



## Emerging Buddhist (Apr 7, 2016)

DepressedHusband said:


> I am such a mess right now, I know I gotta be strong, but I really need the warmth and touch of a woman right now.


There is no disagreement with your first sentence... but stepping with caution into the remaining words for both you and your son are important for your next step here in your need for distraction... but what you are seeking may not be where you want to land. 

As it is, if it is just a presence for the night you seek, then take a breath and at least look up a life/grief coach, because transforming where you are into a healthier presence is far more critical than a random sexual encounter... get those when you are mindfully healthy, not as a crutch for getting past where you are now, because no healing happens. A life/grief coach with therapy may move you there more quickly into accepting that hurt and then being able to move past it without further harm.

This is choice... you did not ask for these things to happen in your life, but you can choose a different path now that you have been presented with them.

Pack them with you, or leave them behind... the path is yours.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

DepressedHusband said:


> I am such a mess right now, I know I gotta be strong, but I really need the warmth and touch of a woman right now.


*...the touch of the right woman, not just any woman!

But for the moment, continue to be a man of principle and remain true and faithful to your matrimonial vows!*


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

I have a different answer.

I've watch a few specials (some "reality" trash tv too) about the cat houses in Nevada. What I saw was that it was common for men in similar circumstances as yours to visit. The women seemed very compassionate and accustomed to providing the touch you desire.

I do believe it is the touch of a woman - sexual, yes, but compassionate and emotional. 

If you don't have religious oppositions then that might be a good option that serve your needs by someone who won't get entangled or hurt. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

TheTruthHurts said:


> I have a different answer.
> 
> I've watch a few specials (some "reality" trash tv too) about the cat houses in Nevada. What I saw was that it was common for men in similar circumstances as yours to visit. The women seemed very compassionate and accustomed to providing the touch you desire.
> 
> ...




I agree. 

It is so hard to watch someone you love get sicker, weaker, less functional; all the while missing and needing the loving and compassionate touch. You become rigid and tense, closed off while on alert. It's exhausting. 

But when it's over...everyone grieves in their own way.

Your first priority is to be there for your son. Next you need to keep yourself charged up and if that includes finding compassionate touching from another woman, then so be it. 

Know this though.... if your son ever discovers you are with another woman while his mother declines he will not likely forgive you, and he will hate the other woman. Happened to my uncle. His AP was never fully accepted.


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## DepressedHusband (Apr 22, 2011)

soooo........

Just a update, and I expect to spend allot more time here now. 

Inlaws come and grab the wife and child, she participates in this act, they conceal the child out of state, I have to get a court order for the childs return, child is now home, her parenting time is no zero and she may only have supervised visitation and her health continues to decline, and she is in another state and she keep telling the kid she is comming to get him, so I have a choice, I can shut off the phone visitation, or I can allow it ? mixed up on that one. 

OMFG, what a mess. anyone know a good lawyer in michigan ?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Install cameras in the house and front yard. And keep a recorder in your pocket at all times.


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