# wife in treatment



## johnsunny (Dec 21, 2011)

My wife is in treatment right now and it's been about 8 days. (opiates).

I had some idea she was using again. She beats this on her own the first time. Our insurance covers 28 days, but she wants to come home after 14. I know she is struggling with the idea she has to stay 14 days because of our son. She looks great and is physically clean. Our family promised her that we would pick her up if she did another 5 days. I'm thinking that was a bad idea because she's looking forward to that day.

I don't really know where I'm getting at with this post, just looking for advice on how to trust that she's going to be ok and how to handle this. My boundaries are going to be... I can't live the life we've lived again. It's been too long just waiting around for her to get better and trusting her. Basically, this is her last chance.

Someone respond. I can't really talk to anyone here.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

You (and she) need to follow whatever guidelines are set by the folks doing her rehab -- she is not in any position to make decisions about how long she needs to stay.

Tough position for you -- I'm sorry.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Can you make another boundary that she faithfully attend NA meetings? Also, look into your legal rights for custody of your children. What will their lives be if she is were the custodial parent? If she starts using, she may use the child support to buy. Best of luck


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## johnsunny (Dec 21, 2011)

She's been agreeing to go to NA meetings and outpatient 3 times per week if she comes home, so yes that is part of the boundaries.


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

Do they have any family programs where she is at? I was in a 14 day treatment program, followed by intensive treatment on an outpatient basis. They incorporated our loved ones into our program... It's a great way to learn what you can do, what to expect, what struggles your wife can expect when she get's out, relapse prevention, etc.


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## johnsunny (Dec 21, 2011)

I'll have to call them.

How did you feel after the 14 days were up? Were you ready to leave? Did the outpatient program help you?... etc...?


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

johnsunny said:


> I'll have to call them.
> 
> How did you feel after the 14 days were up? Were you ready to leave? Did the outpatient program help you?... etc...?


I got much more out of the outpatient program vs. inpatient. But part of that was because my H was not supportive at that time and I felt so alone in my recovery while I was "confined" so to speak. But the 14 day program itself was excellent, a lot of self discovery.


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## johnsunny (Dec 21, 2011)

Good to know.

My wife seems to have gotten something, but I'm thinking she would get more out of the outpatient so she can start living a different life. Her addiction wasn't as strong as alot of the other patients so I think she's having a little trouble connecting with people in there. I think I'm leaning this way because I'm missing her. The first 5-6 days were good for me because I got a chance to relax. Now, I think I'm just looking forward to seeing her start a new life... you know?


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## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

johnsunny said:


> Good to know.
> 
> My wife seems to have gotten something, but I'm thinking she would get more out of the outpatient so she can start living a different life. Her addiction wasn't as strong as alot of the other patients so I think she's having a little trouble connecting with people in there. I think I'm leaning this way because I'm missing her. The first 5-6 days were good for me because I got a chance to relax. Now, I think I'm just looking forward to seeing her start a new life... you know?


Now that you mention it, I think that was part of my issue with the inpatient too. There were people in there that really had issues that I couldn't relate to on some levels... For instance, most of the alcoholics in there would sneak drinks during their work day, I never did that or they had dual addictions. But with outpatient, most participants were in line with where I was at in my life, on some similar levels. 

I wish you and your wife the best


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