# Received an ultimatum...



## lawrencebe (Nov 24, 2012)

After the whole ordeal when I found the message that my WS sent a coworker things have been different. I can admit after all I've done in this marriage I have felt stabbed in the back and don't feel as though I can trust her anymore. My wife before she left on a two week vacation to go back home told me "I have two weeks to figure out what I want to do" and today I signed a lease an apartment. 

For the last few months I have replayed every situation that we have been through and have tried to understand why, to piece something together, the only thing that comes full focus in all of it is the abusive behavior that is ever present in our marriage. The constant fighting, yelling, screaming and hitting are things that I have allowed myself to endure for the name of "love". I truly deserve to be better and will.

I have posted on here for months about this situation and today after talking, praying, reading and hoping to find answers. After yesterday I finally have come to the conclusion that I need to leave. In my 26 years of living I have never been on my own so this will be a huge adjustment and I hope I'm making the right decision. I want to open myself to new opportunities and take a risk that I have never taken before in my life and walk on faith and see where God takes me.


Thanks to everyone on here once again for your words, whether helpful, insightful, or tough, everyone who has shared your stories and opinions has helped me tremendously. 

Thanks


----------



## TimesOfChange (Mar 20, 2013)

So she gave you an ultimatum....:scratchhead:
Nuff said, you've made the right choice.


----------



## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Stay strong. The lay in front of you is difficult but manageable. 

Stay focused stay strong.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds like you are at peace with your choice. Go with it. No one needs the kind of craziness that's been going on.


----------



## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

SHE gave the ultimatem?

Isnt this backwards?


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

weightlifter said:


> SHE gave the ultimatem?
> 
> Isnt this backwards?


IKR? :scratchhead: :scratchhead: :scratchhead:


----------



## TDSC60 (Dec 8, 2011)

You made the right choice. Stay strong.


----------



## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

weightlifter said:


> SHE gave the ultimatem?
> 
> Isnt this backwards?


It's only backwards if we assume that the WS wants the marriage and is willing to work on it.

She obviously thinks she has the upper hand here. I guess she's about to find out.


----------



## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Look at your new life as an adventure. Look at it with hope. 

You have so much potential ahead of you. Your problem will be which one to chose.


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

You're only 26, you've got your whole life ahead of you.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

OK. Couple of questions.

Was her affair EA or PA? Any children? Any chance of reconciliation? Sorry. That was three questions. 

We will be here for you, supporting you, offering advice based on our own life experiences.


----------



## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

When my second marriage ended, I came home from work the day after she left. I noticed one thing that I haven't had in a long time. Now there wasn't any shouting or pots and pans flying in our marriage. She was a emotional drone. My problem was the crummy way she treated me. Didn't show love or feelings and it played on my mind to a point that I had no ambition and flat out was drained. 

What I noticed was that I didn't have that baggage hanging around my neck any longer. The constant wondering if she loved me only to find out a month later that she was cheating. I had peace of mind and a sense of relief that I no longer had to feel like a unwanted guest in my own home. It took very little time to adjust and my life was so much better. I got a better night sleep, my appetite back and my ambition.

You will adjust to living single. It isn't hard and believe me when you don't have to face the person who is causing your hurt any longer you'll notice the difference in you soon. Trust me on this.


----------



## munizhcw (Aug 5, 2013)

It sounds like you are at peace with your choice.


----------



## pollywog (May 30, 2013)

Sorry you are here lawrence. You will be ok and you deserve better.


----------



## Hoosier (May 17, 2011)

I see myself in your post when I read, "trying to figure out why" Dude, I have spent months trying to figure out why and the best answer I have come up with is "Crazy people do crazy things" (thanks to my sister for this). Post here often, lots of good people and good advice. Just know there are a lot of us that have gone thru what you are facing....we are here for you anytime.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hoosier said:


> I see myself in your post when I read, "trying to figure out why" Dude, I have spent months trying to figure out why and the best answer I have come up with is "Crazy people do crazy things" (thanks to my sister for this). Post here often, lots of good people and good advice. Just know there are a lot of us that have gone thru what you are facing....we are here for you anytime.


Your sister deserves a medal for that one! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MrK (Sep 2, 2010)

lawrencebe said:


> In my 26 years of living...


Dang! I thought you were going to say 26 years of marriage.

Get out. LIve.

A nice easy one for a change.


----------



## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Does your wife know about your new place? Are you going to give her the divorce papers or have you prepared the paperwork?


----------



## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

Your wife delivered that ultimatum because in her mind it meant that you would give in.

You aren't. Now the ball's in her court whether she wants to try and work on your marriage or not.


----------

