# I guess it's goodbye to this forum....



## frigginlost (Oct 5, 2011)

Time to move over to the "Life after Divorce Forum"

Paperwork signed sealed and delivered today (11/28). Divorce will be final in under a month. Wow. After 19 years my world was literaly destroyed in 2 and a half months....

Time Line:

Begining of September -- One day after our anniversay she hits me with "Love you not in love with you".

Begining of October -- She moves out.

Mid November -- One day before my birthday she hits me with "I want a divorce".

Late November -- Served.

End of November -- Signed paperwork is given to the court.

November 29th -- Divorce official.

Edited to add:

Thanks for all the kind words folks. It gets worse....

The papers were signed and delivered yesterday (11/28). Since my now ex-wife works at the local courthouse she was able to push the paperwork to a judge and he signed them.

I am now officially divorced.

I don't think there is anybody on the planet that has dealt with the amount of pain I am dealing with right now.....

No marriage counseling, no working on it, no nothing.

Wow. Just wow.....


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## Applegirl (Sep 8, 2011)

I'm sorry that you are hurting. I'm going through the same thing sort of..it's not fun.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

frigginlost said:


> Time to move over to the "Life after Divorce Forum"
> 
> Paperwork signed sealed and delivered today. Divorce will be final in under a month. Wow. After 19 years my world was literaly destroyed in 2 and a half months....
> 
> ...


Actually hoping to see you on "the other side" fairly soon.

But still - sorry. Mine's been 2+ years in the making...


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

frigginlost said:


> Time to move over to the "Life after Divorce Forum"
> 
> Paperwork signed sealed and delivered today. Divorce will be final in under a month. Wow. After 19 years my world was literaly destroyed in 2 and a half months....
> 
> ...


That is pretty tough. Thoughts are with you.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Sorry.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

I am sorry. So sad!


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## cherrymamajb87 (Nov 9, 2011)

I really hate reading posts like this...I'm so sorry for you. Its so unfair that you can want to try so hard and fail
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tam8145 (Apr 6, 2011)

Hey Friggin - I wanted to reply because same thing happened to me. Almost identical timeline, but mine started April 1, 2011 when I confronted my ex-wife about a suspected EA/PA. My D was final 11/21, 14-year marriage and she never wavered after D-Day. I have read thru your other threads as well. I have no advice, just some thoughts. I have given the whole deal back to God - I simply cannot understand any of it. Like you, I had faults in the marriage. But, I really think my ex-wife just went crazy. She's not the same person I knew even 18 months ago. My kids see it/know it and my ex has become somewhat estranged from her family. Take courage and strength that you did all you could to save your marriage and move on. I have. God bless.


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## fool for love (Sep 20, 2011)

OMG this sounds like my exact situation except my timeline is:

Mid September: Purchased a Prepaid Cell same day he was telling me how much he loved me, 2 days later I found it and after 2 days of denial he finally said "Love you but not in love with you"

End of September (One week later on my 40th birthday): He said he was moving to Maine (we live in NJ 6 hours away leaving his 8 y/o twin girls) and 15 y/o stepson, and he packed and left.

3 weeks later: I filed for divorce
1 week later on Halloween: He finally sees the kids, gets his things, signs the papers and leaves. A total visit of 2 1/2 hours.

Beginning of November (1 1/2 weeks later): He gets upset that I am going back to my maiden name and proceeds to remind me he does not love me.

Next week: will see the children for the first time in almost 6 weeks.

Divorce date should be scheduled and finalized by the end of December.

We were together 11 1/2 years, this thursday would have been our 10 year wedding anniversary. I have a 15 y/o from previous marriage and he a 14 y/o also that I have loved and raised as my own and I miss him terribly. He is in love with his first love from when they were 14, he had an internet affair and he can't get over her and thinks he is in love. She is working on saving her marriage and can't believe my WS is in love with her since he hasn't seen her in 23 years and they only started talking last year and I caught that in the first 2 1/2 weeks.

I completely feel for you, it's like living in a *nightmare you can't wake up from*. My children keep me going because right now I am the only one here for all 4 of them. 

Again, I feel for you and wish you all the best of everything!


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## frigginlost (Oct 5, 2011)

Thanks for all the kind words folks. It gets worse....

The papers were signed and delivered yesterday. Since my now ex-wife works at the local courthouse she was able to push the paperwork to a judge and he signed them.

I am now officially divorced.

I don't think there is anybody on the planet that has dealt with the amount of pain I am dealing with right now.....


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

frigginlost said:


> I don't think there is anybody on the planet that has dealt with the amount of pain I am dealing with right now.....


frigginlost, I know it may not seem like it at the moment but there are people in more pain than you just now - honestly, there are.

Stay strong buddy, I know it's not easy


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

frigginlost: Move over on that lonely planet, I have felt that pain and still feel it after my divorce. I found out in March and because he didn't want MC I elected divorce (who can live with someone you love like that who is cheating in front of you) and I was divorced in July. End of story- NO

Let's not forget the pain of betrayal and loss of someone we adored who threw it away on a bloody fantasy. All from a high school FB thingy. He is 65 yrs old! She is married for 45 yrs! WTF!!!

It does get a teeny better with each passing day just hold on even if it's with your fingernails. It does. Pray, share and pray some more.


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## fool for love (Sep 20, 2011)

frigginlost, trust me I also know the pain. Just got off the phone with WS who wants to find out how quickly the court will assign the date. There is no remorse, no sympathy, no apology....and that all leads up to nothing but pain. 

In time I am sure we will all be in a better place, everyone keeps telling me everything happens for a reason, I hope they are right.

I wish nothing but the best for you!


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## Endgame (Nov 6, 2011)

All of us here have a story to tell, just as heartbreaking as the next. It sucks. It sucks because there once was a love, mine of twenty years, that was strong and vibrant, filled with many beautiful times together, and treasured memories to hold on to. But, somewhere along the line the spouse decides they've had enough and turn into someone we don't even know.

I'll be over in the Life after Divorce forum in a couple of weeks. I know there will be brighter days ahead for all of us here who are suffering, as we will become better people as a result. We will show our ex that we are strong and we will carry on just fine without them! See you there.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Well written Endgame, I agree wholeheartedly. A brighter day shines every time we wake up


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## Marty1138 (Dec 13, 2011)

I know this is an old post but if you still love her never give up pal even with a divorce people can make mistakes and have regrets. Stay around as a friend and you might win her back again.


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## hurtingsobad (Oct 29, 2011)

I have consolation in knowing that the next woman I enter into a relationship (if I ever do) will be getting a man who knows his limitations, his weaknesses, and his strengths. She is going to be the happiest woman in the world, and I will have my ex to thank for it! :smthumbup:


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## cyan (Dec 4, 2011)

Hey... that's pretty cool. 



hurtingsobad said:


> I have consolation in knowing that the next woman I enter into a relationship (if I ever do) will be getting a man who knows his limitations, his weaknesses, and his strengths. She is going to be the happiest woman in the world, and I will have my ex to thank for it! :smthumbup:


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

hurtingsobad said:


> I have consolation in knowing that the next woman I enter into a relationship (if I ever do) will be getting a man who knows his limitations, his weaknesses, and his strengths. She is going to be the happiest woman in the world, and I will have my ex to thank for it! :smthumbup:


Now, that's how to do it. I told my W today, that our separation was the best thing that has happened to me. I have found myself again. I know that I am a good man and that if the right woman comes along, then she too will be very happy with me.


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