# 11 years gone in a second



## starsatdigital (Oct 10, 2015)

Hi I have just got enough courage to find some people to talk to about my recent disaster. 

I had been with my ex for a little over 11 yrs , we had lived abroad and have 2 beautiful girls together. Three years ago our youngest was born and so it was we were complete as a family.

Then when she was 2 I was having a rough time at work and at home with my ex, she had given pity to one of my engineers and had him around my house every night feeding him . One night I came home and my heart sank he had my youngest on his knee reading stories to them..I couldn't do it I just could not face it..days went by and I found a message on her phone calling me all kinds of abusive things and I could not take any more we had a major fall out and I got taken home to my parents by my sister. An absolute mess...

We spent a week apart and I foolishly went home hoping I could change her wishing all the **** would go away..I loved her and my girls..things went ok for a while I realised I had not seen my parents for a while and later found out it was 9 months .because she hated being in the same room as them.

Anyway this year a day before my birthday I find a message by accident on my tablet from her to a guy on a fb page telling him he looked like he could be naughty and we were just a convinence. .I woke up and shouted so much that morning I cried inside...

Last Saturday she went to work an extra shift to stay away from me as I worked out, only to be greater with the we need to talk it's me not you bull****..she wanted space which you know what I understood and we agreed I stayed with the girls to keep them in routine.then Monday night it took a turn for the worse we exchanged heated words with each other.i finally stood upto her not done it in years , told her how she made me feel how small and worthless I was feeling . And she just laughed I fronted her up and it got messy I tried to get her out of the house because of the girls for there safety not mine even though I had my blood all over me.she even admitted she hated my eldest because she reminds her of me..

Needless to say I had the police on my door offering to arrest me or telling me to leave my property. .
I found out yesterday she had registered on pof at the weekend looking for men as well..

I feel used and empty ..
I have lost everything and feel like this whole thing is my fault isolated in a town 40 miles from my girls.........


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

No not yet. This is a long haul. Do not make the same mistake again, work to get the girls back. Its Saturday instead of stewing lets talk.

First the 180. Read up on it and let's see how to apply it. But first read this

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/32002-welcome-tam-cwi-newbies-please-read.html#


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Did the police note it was your blood? Keep the bloodily clothes.


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## starsatdigital (Oct 10, 2015)

The police were more intrested in getting me oit of the property ..I tried to explain but to no avail..I ha e been in touch with a men's dv unit and solicitors. ..just feel like it was my fault now😡😢


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## starsatdigital (Oct 10, 2015)

Saw my girls for the first time in a week today. My eldest said some worrying things and it's playing on my mind ...


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

How did you get your own blood on yourself? You went from exchanging heated words and her laughing to your blood on you. Can you be more specific about what happened?

That could mean everything from she stabbed you to you punched a window, and the two are very different scenarios.


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## starsatdigital (Oct 10, 2015)

Well she slapped me and I grabbed her hands to stop her . We tussle and I had her restrained to protect myself. I wanted her out to protect me and the girls. I got punched a few times and head butted not once did I raise my hands to her I was brought up never to..the cut I have no idea it's on my left hand first finger a large chunk of skin is missing . That is where the blood came from..


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## starsatdigital (Oct 10, 2015)

Well I met up with the witch today.totaly bizarre it was as if nothing had happend she failed to even show any emotion or resentment towards me. Talking to family and friends has made me see the light on how controlled my life had become. My girls break my heart everytime I drop them off telling me they do not want to go home to her. I fall apart everytime I have to send them to her knowing that they will be screamed at , the eldest has put a stone on and my youngest is getting bigger there diet is crap and the eldest has t1 diabetes. . Need to pick myself up and get back on my feet and get my girls. Just so lost atm my positivity over the last week has waned and I can not see the goals I set out ...I have cried so much over the last 3 weeks had my world destroyed...but why did I go back last time to prove I could change her for the girls and me..I should have stayed away..lost in a wormhole and stuck...


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## Marc878 (Aug 26, 2015)

Well that happens when you let others run your life. Have you learned your lesson????

You have a long road ahead of you and a lot of it is from your doing it sounds like.

Maybe you should man up and take back your life.

You had the injuries and sounds like proof so start there.


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