# Husband Not Supporting Changes



## Honeybee2 (May 3, 2014)

I am 54 years old 5'7' and weigh 150lbs. I am proportionate, have a very pretty face and great skin, with nice 34cc lifted boobs. I mention that because my husband has an expectation of me looking better. So, I am trying to lose 25lbs for him---so he will have sex with me again--or touch or hug or kiss me again. We have only been married 2 years. 

A few weeks ago, I asked him to please hide the chips, crackers, donuts etc. that he brings ingot he house from me. I work at home and find those things tempting. He got upset, said I should have more self control. I told him it was only until I got well underway with weight loss. He brings this request up as an example of what's wrong with me every time he is frustrated about something.

Last week, I ate 800 calories a day and did 2 hours of yoga a day. I lost 3.2 pounds. ON Saturday night, my husband asked me to go to dinner with he and his son. He made late reservations. I found it impossible to sit and have a salad while they lavished themselves with steaks, potatoes, cake, drinks, etc. I told my husband I couldn't do that again if he wanted me to lose the weight. Again, he thinks I have no self control. Meanwhile, while I am trying no sex. 

Any response?


----------



## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Yeah. He's an ass.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

How much did you weigh when the two of you were dating/got married? If it wasn't significantly less than you weigh now, then your weight is not the reason he doesn't want sex with you. 

Also, yeah, your husband does sound like a bit of an ass.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Have you asked him why he doesn't support your efforts?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

5'-7" and 150 lbs is not heavy. I don't think you need to lose 25lbs.
Be careful you don't lose to much. Also, remember when you lose weight, you need to keep it off forever otherwise, you'll gain it back fast and gain even more.

My wife has a similar problem in that she's gained about 25 lbs since she's been with me because I exercise a lot and eat like a horse at night. I'm a bad influence on her. 

But I try to be supportive. I don't nag her, I just try to support her.

And I still love her and make love to her regardless, so I vote with the guys above that says your husband is being a jerk.

Tell him to get it together.


----------



## bubba29 (Feb 29, 2012)

Rowan said:


> How much did you weigh when the two of you were dating/got married? If it wasn't significantly less than you weigh now, then your weight is not the reason he doesn't want sex with you.
> 
> Also, yeah, your husband does sound like a bit of an ass.


i agree with this


----------



## jorgegene (May 26, 2012)

Rowan said:


> How much did you weigh when the two of you were dating/got married? If it wasn't significantly less than you weigh now, then your weight is not the reason he doesn't want sex with you.
> 
> Also, yeah, your husband does sound like a bit of an ass.


right on


----------



## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Eating only 800 calories is going to hurt you in the long run. Make it harder to keep off anything you lose and to lose again in the future. 

Talk to your Dr and if they are concerned about your weight (which I doubt they will be, you're not overweight) have them come up with a healthy plan for you. 

Thin should not be more important than health. 800 calories a day is not healthy. 

Do you really think he's going to suddenly want to hug you and kiss you and have sex if you lose 25 pounds? Sounds more like a way to control you IMO


----------



## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Op, I somehow missed that you've only been getting 800 calories a day while also exercising. And that you're losing over 3 pounds a week. SGC is correct in saying that dieting that way is the opposite of healthy. Do some research or get a professional onboard to help you learn to lose weight without wrecking your health. You should be losing no more than 1-2 pounds per week.


----------



## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I think that your husband should be supporting your efforts instead of criticizing. 

I have lost thirty pounds over the past year and it is easier because my wife has somewhat gone along with the changes to eat a more healthy diet. 

I also think 800 cal a day 7 days a week is to much. I always take two days off a week and eat a regular nice meal and when I was just on vacation I probably gained two pounds. 

I do have to wonder if the 25 pounds is an excuse rather than the real reason your husband is not showing enough affection.


----------



## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

no sex?????? whats up with that? do you try to start things up or are you just waiting for him to always start?

you have to want to lose weight for yourself not for someone else.

yoga for weight loss is a poor choise in my opinion unless you have physical limitations where you can't walk or jog or run. and as the others have said dropping you cal intake too low will hurt your efforts to lose weight. maybe a practical book on exercise and weight loss would help.


----------



## Aspydad (Oct 17, 2013)

5'7" and 150 lbs. is not heavy!! 36 CC is just right! 

My wife is 48 years old and is 5'3" 140 and is 36 C. When I fist met her back when she was 18 she was 5"3" 110 lbs. and 34 B. I much prefer the 48 year old body that has practiced for 30 years with me and knows exactly what I like - she is so much hotter now than when she was 18.

I think it is all in your husband's mind and he is the one that needs to work on himself. Must be other issues is all I can figure.

I know how hard it is to work out and keep physically fit - maybe this is what is needed? I mean this can help you feel better about yourself and in turn may make you more sexy to your husband? I do know I like that my wife does exercise and is physically strong. This does take time and commitment though.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Honeybee2 said:


> I am 54 years old 5'7' and weigh 150lbs. I am proportionate, have a very pretty face and great skin, with nice 34cc lifted boobs. I mention that because my husband has an expectation of me looking better. So, I am trying to lose 25lbs for him---so he will have sex with me again--or touch or hug or kiss me again. We have only been married 2 years.
> 
> A few weeks ago, I asked him to please hide the chips, crackers, donuts etc. that he brings ingot he house from me. I work at home and find those things tempting. He got upset, said I should have more self control. I told him it was only until I got well underway with weight loss. He brings this request up as an example of what's wrong with me every time he is frustrated about something.
> 
> ...


This is pretty f*cked up. You're 54, 5' 7", and 150 lbs? No physical contact or intimacy over 25 pounds? Seriously...?!?

Sorry, but there's only one thing that you need to change, and that's your bedmate.


----------



## sammy7111 (Apr 19, 2014)

sounds like you need a new husband


----------



## hartvalve (Mar 15, 2014)

8oo calories a day isn't nearly enough nourishment to the body. Please treat your body better than that.. Please. 

I believe helping a mate maintain good eating habits by removing junk food from their view is not too much to ask.. I do the same for my husband, but then again I am weighing more than I would like to these days too.  I was on steroids for a short period not long ago. I am trying not to keep so many junk food items in my home now..

At any rate, OP.. I am so sorry to hear about the dilemma you are in. But you are NOT over weight at all in my estimation! What was your weight when you first married? No matter what it was, anything under 150 pounds would still NOT warrant your husband sexual rejection. My case is a bit different from yours.. In my case, my husband is *100 *pounds over weight according to his height. Plus, his comes from post surgery complications. It is physically impossible to have normal sex with my husband. In your case, it is possible. Your husband is being a little unreasonable here honey.. I don't mean to sound mean towards him either, but--

You are way too young to have this complaint or rather, his complaint hanging over your head. Were you rail thin when you married? I am so curious. Wow! Only married two years too?? If you were grossly overweight and by gross I mean 250-300 pounds plus, which I am sure you'd never do to yourself.. Then I would say there is probably something to your husband's way of thinking and behaving. Though my husband is grossly overweight, he can touch me. Your hubby needs counsel. Drag him into a good counselors' office and get his head checked out so he can check into your marriage..  I hope the very best for you nevertheless..


----------



## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

Honeybee2 said:


> A few weeks ago, I asked him to please hide the chips, crackers, donuts etc. that he brings ingot he house from me. I work at home and find those things tempting. He got upset, said I should have more self control.


Bringing this stuff into the house when someone is dieting is just cruel. Having said that though, going down to 125 lbs. on a 67" frame sounds pretty drastic to me. That's rail thin.


----------



## the2ofus (Jan 28, 2014)

ocotillo said:


> Bringing this stuff into the house when someone is dieting is just cruel. Having said that though, going down to 125 lbs. on a 67" frame sounds pretty drastic to me. That's rail thin.


That's the size of my 13 yr old daughter ( she's almost 5'8") and yeah that's rail thin! Why a man would want his wife to look like a early teen girl is beyond me.

Did your.wedding vows have a clause to the love, honor, cherish clause like if you are under so many pounds?


----------



## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Honeybee2 said:


> ---so he will have sex with me again--or touch or hug or kiss me again. We have only been married 2 years.




Forget everything else that you wrote - none of that matters because yes indeedy, you are married to an ass...

Married two years and this is where he is at? Good luck Honey, you are going to need it. 

You know, on the other hand, I have to ask, why did you marry him? This is on you if you think he is going to change.


----------



## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

Wth. Your husband is an ass. You sure he wants you to loose weight or is this a bait and switch?


----------



## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Honey, did something trigger your husband to act this way toward's you? I mean you have only been married 2 years..was he like this when dating?

Does he have a bad porn habit?


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Bandit called it. Your husband is an ass. 

What was his first marriage like? Did he cheat on his first wife?


----------



## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Sounds to me like you are both physically and emotionally torturing yourself as a result of his neglect.

Did HE ask you to lose 25 pounds or is this your own idea of a solution to your sexless issue? Either way you are probably wasting your time. And starving yourself.


----------



## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

Just took a look at your other thread.....

Not sure why you are tolerating being treated this way....he all but ignores you in this marriage, I wonder if he married you for some benefit for him...be it financial, or someone to cook/clean/maintain the home while he spends all his energy and care on his children. In your other thread, where you say you all went on vacation and he slept in the same room as his kids while you slept in a different room....for crying out loud, his children are teenagers. He is going out of his way showing you what a low priority you are to him....why you are accepting it is the question.


----------



## ifweonly (Feb 27, 2014)

Yeah --- sorry to say that your husband is a real JERK -- okay ASS! Tell him to:

1. Grow a pair and start having sex with you on YOUR terms.
2. Shut his mouth and STOP being critical of you.
3. Correct his domineering attitude or you will leave this controlling marriage ASAP; there are very good loving men out there who would treat you much, much better than this !%@%^@>@& !!!!

Men like this just get me going and give all men a bad image. Sorry about you situation --- good luck!


----------

