# Is my husband cheating on me(Again)?



## bellenoel (Jan 4, 2016)

I got married June 2015, after knowing my partner for just 6 months. I am 24 and he is 27. My husband started working in a new job the same week that we got married. About two weeks into his job in July I noticed he was acting different. Coming home extra late which he claimed was because he was going out with his male coworkers. His phone would ring @ 3, or 5 in the morning which I found odd. One night he was asleep and his phone kept sounding. I went to silence it and when the screen lit up I saw that he received a few messages on WhatsApp messenger from someone name Kandy with heart emojis. The messages were ?did you fall asleep =/? ?okay goodnight tty tmmr?
I decided to unlock his phone and read the full conversation. But of course when I opened it those were the only messages. I assumed that he must have deleted the conversation before he got home and she replied late. I did a few digging on his phone on text messages and on the rest of WhatsApp and on Facebook messenger and I found a few disturbing messages and nude photos but those were conversations that happened before me and him were together. But I did find rather odd that he would want to keep that on his phone after he got married.
Back to that night, after snooping for about 20 mins. If you own an iPhone you know that you double click the home button when you want to close, open apps, so I start closing all of the apps that I had opened and then I get to Safari, and I see that it is on the google translate home page. Me and my husband are Dominican but I was born and raised in NY he?s been here for a few years and speaks mild English. So what was translated to English was ?when will I get to see you again?. I think to myself who could he have want to say this to because he always talks to fam and friends in spanish. So then I decide to go back to the previous screen and there was another translation that said ?I want to kiss your lips?
And the more I went back the more explicit it got. I was so hurt and started crying. Other translations said ?When can I KISS you again, Can I please pass by your house after work, I need to see you one more time, I need to feel your soft lips again?
It just went on and on and I also checked his call log and they were talking on the phone all day long. For hours and hours. His call log just said, kandy, incoming, kandy outgoing like 50 times.
At this point I was so nervous and trembling because I cannot believe what I was reading because I pretty much put 2 and 2 together because the girl that had texted him on WhatsApp that night wrote to him in English and I did find that odd because he talks to everyone in Spanish.
So after I composed myself from crying and shaking I decided to wake him up and confront him about what I saw. When he woke up he was confused Then he played the victim and started yelling how dare I go in his phone and that its an invasion of privacy, people are allowed to have private things. The fighting went on all night. I broke up with him and told him sorry but I want a divorce because we been married for a month and you already cheating?Around 1pm the next day he woke me up crying and begging for forgiveness, when I tell you that his eyes were blood red and he was crying as if someone had died. And begging to please not leave him. It hurt me to see him cry like that. And he cried the whole day. The next day he went to work, when he came back, he took off his clothes and went to take a shower. He left his phone on the bed and well what do you know, his phone lights up. And it?s a message from Kandy. The message was just a smiley face. I open it but that?s all that was in the conversation. I then go back to safari and see some new translations. But these were way more explicit then the ones read previously. They read ?I can?t wait to kiss you again, I just want to spend one night with you to show you how a real man is supposed to F you, I am dying to feel you cum in my mouth, when are you going to let me eat you out? I was just shocked and disgusted at everything I was reading. When he got out of the bathroom I let him have it, I threw everything possible at him, from laundry detergent to my hair gel. He was just like what is wrong with you, what are you mad at now blah blah blah?.and I tell him you are still translating messages to send to that girl, and you didn?t even block her from your phone or delete her number. So then he says you have it all confused and starts laughing.
Then he says I?m going to prove to you how crazy you are. I say what are you talking about?.and here was his excuse?.That she is a customer in his job?she apparently is best friends with one of his coworkers and she found out that her husband is cheating on her because her and her husband share a phone and he was receiving messages and phone calls from some girl. So she devised a plan to find a guy to start sending her dirty messages and start calling her phone as well so that her husband could think that shes cheating as well. I tell him out of all the guys she asks you a guy she never met before to do it for her. And he said that he agreed to do it because his coworker begged him to.
Honestly does he really think that am so stupid to believe that he is helping a random girl fake an affair to get revenge on her husband?and if it was true, why did he spend the previous day crying all day like a baby and begging for forgiveness and for me not to leave him. Also why was he spending hours with this girl on the phone. He would call me throughout the days for about 2 or 3 mins but with her you are talking for hours. But you?re not cheating. Please. So when I asked him that he said that he thought I was dumpling him because of the messages and photos I saw on his facebook messenger from before we were together. That he had no idea I was talking about the google translations. And said I was stupid and to believe what I want that he?s just doing a friend a favor, and he wants nothing to do with her. The next day when he got home from work, About 5 mins after he walked into the room. He received a text. The he throws his phone on the bed to me and says look, read that.
It was a text from Kandy and this is a summary of what it said, ? Please tell your wife that I am so sorry for involving you in my problems, tell her to please call me and I?ll explain everything. I never meant to break up your marriage because of my problems, please forgive me. I hope you guys do not break up?
After, I immediately tell him oh yeah funny she texts you that as soon as you walk into the room, you guys must have spent all day planning that move.
At this point I begin to pack all of my things and the next day while he was at work I moved back into my moms house. Over the next few days he blasted my and my mother?s phones, his mother was blasting my phone over why did I leave him that he wont stop crying and all this stuff?About a week later he texted me and asked if he could speak to me?Long story short yes I did forgive him, agree to move past that and get back together but only if he changed his number and deleted all of those apps?6 months later it is now January 2016. After we got back together things got back to norm little by little.
So the other day, he went out with his friends and he got home at about 5 am he came into bed and was on his phone?my back was toward him, But when I saw the light, I turned toward him and he immediately closed his phone. I told him why you closed your phone so fast. He said what do you mean it was off. I say do you really think I?m that dumb, I saw you on WhatsApp, what are you hiding?and he says what are you talking about I wasn?t chatting with anyone, Then I say okay well open your phone and let me see, and he says oh god here we go. And I say why are you making such a big deal just open it. So he opens it and quickly clicks on facebook messenger and says look I was talking to my friend Felix, and I say wow okay I saw you on WhatsApp open WhatsApp and he shuts his phone off and says no again. So we spend about 30 mins with me trying to get him to open his phone. So he finally opens it and opens WhatsApp and behold it was a conversation with a girl, she sent him a funny video with a message?So I ask, why is she sending a married man a message at 5 in the morning. And he says, that?s an old friend of mine, I?ve known her for a long time. So he responds in my face to the message ?Why are you up so early? and I?m just like you seriously going to respond to her. And he goes oh my god look I?ll make this real easy and he deleted the conversation and said he was tired and going to sleep. I?m just like um hello are you seriously not going to tell me why she is texting you at this time because you say she?s an old friend but I never heard of her.

Am I wrong for wanting to know who she was and why she was texting a married man at that time. Why was he hiding his phone and not wanting to open it for me for almost 2o mins. But Somehow I always seem like the psycho and crazy one because he is the innocent victim that never does anything wrong. Am I wrong for acting the way I did given to what happened in July? I don?t want to go snooping in his phone again. After everything that happened in July I lost a lot of trust for him and its been hard to start trusting him again. Our relationship isn?t perfect but we try to make it work but idk Maybe it is time to separate. And may I add that he never changed his number or deleted any of those apps. After about a month, I got tired of asking him to do it because every time he had a different excuse. I love him but not enough to go through what we already went through a second time.


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## Relationship Teacher (Jan 3, 2016)

My partner looked at my phone once out of her insecurity (at the time, pregnant/emotional). I always leave my phone out..... nothing to hide. She found nothing and was apologetic for snooping. What was my response when she only indicated that she had went through my texts? I was calm and with a blank face. I raised my eyebrows. I had nothing to hide and nothing to be defensive about. Oftentimes, individuals make elaborate excuses when they are guilty. Or they launch a barrage, as you endured, so that you may back off.

I am all for getting past affairs, but it requires both individuals to move on and focus purely on the committed relationship. I don't believe that one should ever snoop, personally. If there are trust issues, then there are relationship issues. A healthy relationship cannot exist with lack of trust. In this case the lack of trust was/is justified. If you can't trust him, it is going to make the future of the relationship quite difficult. Can you see being with him forever? Is he emotionally distant? It isn't fair for you to not have his whole heart. 

If it helps, I am so busy giving to my partner that the last thing on my mind is needing another woman. The mere thought of cheating sounds disgusting. My partner is the one I lust for, physically, emotionally and sexually.

Relationship Teacher


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## Lilac23 (Jul 9, 2015)

Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Serial cheater with classic cheater behavior. Making you feel like you're crazy, etc. 
Nobody gets texts from opposite sex at 5 in the morning unless they're wanting to......

You're not crazy..... But you will be if you stay.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

I hope you don't have any children.

Because you have to dump this guy as soon as possible, and that will be a lot easier if you don't have children.

And whatever you do, don't get pregnant!!


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

BN, he is a cheater and will treat you like this for the rest of your marriage. Run for the hills.
BTW are you both US citizens? 
Make sure you tell your family and his family what you have told us, blow him up out of the water.
Then go and contact a divorce attorney and file for divorce, under no circumstances do you let him wriggle his way into your affections again. Find a man who will treat you right.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Cheating. Get out now!


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## bellenoel (Jan 4, 2016)

aine said:


> BN, he is a cheater and will treat you like this for the rest of your marriage. Run for the hills.
> BTW are you both US citizens?
> Make sure you tell your family and his family what you have told us, blow him up out of the water.
> Then go and contact a divorce attorney and file for divorce, under no circumstances do you let him wriggle his way into your affections again. Find a man who will treat you right.




Yes we are both citizens.


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## thomasgate44 (May 31, 2016)

Nice post,Everyone , I just thought I’d let you know you can have a talented hacker get your jobs done for you(whatsapp,viber,texts,Facebook,monitor calls) , whatever you need done , reach him on cyberhacktivist1 AT gmail DOT com , , if you realize you have a cheating partner and just want to be more sure about the affair , he will get whatever you need done for you , he helped me once , i couldn’t be more grateful, i fell in love with an unfaithful man having TWO affairs, you can imagine how sickening that is, this fella helped me know about it all, reach him for whatever you need done. let him know thomas told you
fr


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## Jessikita (Apr 23, 2017)

I'm sorry you are going through this I don't think you are crazy at all I am actually dealing with the same thing too. My husband plays innocent but a innocent husband would not be so private with his phone. It never leaves his side ever! He always has the phone facing down. When I question him he tells me wow 7 years married and you still don't trust me. He lost my trust years back when he would do his shady **** online and had fake accounts. I think when they are that secretive and Defensive it's because they are hiding something.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Jessikita said:


> I'm sorry you are going through this I don't think you are crazy at all I am actually dealing with the same thing too. My husband plays innocent but a innocent husband would not be so private with his phone. It never leaves his side ever! He always has the phone facing down. When I question him he tells me wow 7 years married and you still don't trust me. He lost my trust years back when he would do his shady **** online and had fake accounts. I think when they are that secretive and Defensive it's because they are hiding something.


Jess, This is an oldish thread. Why don't you start your own thread, maybe we can help you?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Zombie thread. 

Closing.


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