# You Know, I Don't Feel Bad About Watching Porn..



## bogey (Feb 17, 2012)

in the past year, my once smokin hot wife has ballooned up to 165. she used to be in about the 110-120 lb range when we first married. she claims stress is the cause of the weight gain but she doesn't work and we don't have any kids. what could she be so stressed about? we've fought a few times, but I've never cheated on her, and I go out of my way to give her compliments and set up romantic evenings/getaways just to get that fire back in our relationship that's been missing...but I'm afraid its all fizzled out at this point. lately i've just been watching more and more porn in an attempt to satisfy my sexual needs because my wife is not interested and I can't stand the sight of her naked body. I don't know who this person is; its not the girl I married. she completely let herself go


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## chiben (Jun 26, 2012)

Your situation doesnt have much to do with porn though. You are just frustrated at her.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I don't know your whole story and I can sympathize with the weight gain of the wife thing as mine was 120 and is at about 165 now after 2 kids.

But I can tell you this, even though she has no drive I have no problems being aroused by her. As chiben said...maybe your lack of attraction has more to do with her attitude than her weight?


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## DanG (Aug 10, 2011)

Her "stress" may be something in your relationship or her/life that is at a conflict with what she expected would be - yet is unable to talk about or resolve. So, she deals with it by eating too much to *attempt* to feel better. It might be you, it could be her work, some disappointment, or difficulty. Give us some background. How long have you been married, ages, living/work situation, etc. Your use of porn is a *simptom" just as her getting fat is a simptom.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

bogey said:


> in the past year, my once smokin hot wife has ballooned up to 165. she used to be in about the 110-120 lb range when we first married. she claims stress is the cause of the weight gain but she doesn't work and we don't have any kids. what could she be so stressed about? we've fought a few times, but I've never cheated on her, and I go out of my way to give her compliments and set up romantic evenings/getaways just to get that fire back in our relationship that's been missing...but I'm afraid its all fizzled out at this point. lately i've just been watching more and more porn in an attempt to satisfy my sexual needs because my wife is not interested and I can't stand the sight of her naked body. I don't know who this person is; its not the girl I married. she completely let herself go


My 27 year old sister recently started ballooning up, and was diagnosed with a thyroid condition. Perhaps you should suggest that your wife see a doctor. FWIW, you sound a little bitter...are you sure there's nothing more going on, that just a weight gain? 165? Unless she's 5-foot-nothing, doesn't sound too bad. But then, I'm almost 6', so....take that with a grain of salt.


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## anony2 (Apr 28, 2012)

I wonder how many husbands would be saying this if they had to birth the children.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

None. They'd have all died in childbirth...LOL...just kiddin', boys!


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

How old? If she's near 40, could be perimenopause. Maybe depression hit her. She should go get checked out by a doc to rule out any physical issues.

If she knows you've ramped up the p*rn, and if she senses that you've lost attraction...you're going to send her deeper into this tailspin.


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## mama (Feb 25, 2011)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trey69 (Dec 29, 2010)

What role do you feel you played in helping this to happen? I didn't say you put a gun to head and made her eat and gain weight. However, have a feeling some where in the relationship you might be a contributing factor. Maybe you're part of her stress, what else has been going on that you know of for why she would have stress? Usually weight gain in less about a physical issue, and more about an emotional issue.


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## bogey (Feb 17, 2012)

DanG said:


> Her "stress" may be something in your relationship or her/life that is at a conflict with what she expected would be - yet is unable to talk about or resolve. So, she deals with it by eating too much to *attempt* to feel better. It might be you, it could be her work, some disappointment, or difficulty. *Give us some background. How long have you been married, ages, living/work situation, etc. Your use of porn is a *simptom" just as her getting fat is a simptom.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


posting from work so i'll make this fast

-married 2 and half years
-I recently turned 27 and she's 24
-I work full-time, she stays at home (out of college) not really looking for a job as its not necessary because I make more than enough
-no kids


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## CallaLily (Jan 13, 2011)

bogey said:


> posting from work so i'll make this fast
> 
> -married 2 and half years
> -I recently turned 27 and she's 24
> ...


Maybe she is depressed. Does she have any hobbies she enjoys? 
Have you sat down and talked with her about what may or may not be going on with her? She needs something she can call her own, all people do.

Unless she has some kind of medical issue, most of the time weight gain is emotional based. Something she is feeling or not feeling, is bothering her. Does she know you watch porn? I'm not saying thats what has caused her gain weight I'm, saying if she knows it probably doesn't help things right now.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

bogey said:


> I can't stand the sight of her naked body.


My guess is, she knows this and has picked up on how you feel. I doubt it will make her more motivated to try and lose weight, if she is already depressed it probably just adds fuel to the fire for her if she knows you can't stand the sight of her naked body. 

Chances are its self punishment for possibly not feeling loved for who she is. If she doesn't love her self and feels you don't either, then why she should lose weight.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Jamison said:


> My guess is, she knows this and has picked up on how you feel. I doubt it will make her more motivated to try and lose weight, if she is already depressed it probably just adds fuel to the fire for her if she knows you can't stand the sight of her naked body.
> 
> Chances are its self punishment for possibly not feeling loved for who she is. If she doesn't love her self and feels you don't either, then why she should lose weight.


I recently weighed in that same range. I also have two kids. A lot of this was due to comfort eating.

What does she do with her time all day? She may be depressed.

I was recently overweight (just lost the weight since January) and I reached a point where I was sure I couldn't get my weight back down. I used caloriecount.com, it's free and I found it very easy to use. But I had to want it for me, not to make my husband happy.

Porn is not the road to go down. You'd be surprised how many extremely young men now have ED because they masturbate frequently to porn. Viagra doesn't even work for them. If you find it more difficult to get it up in the bedroom, it might turn out to be because you've come to rely on masturbation/porn, and not because of anything about your wife's appearance. Cart before the horse.


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

Bogey, a couple things.... 

Your statement that you 'can't stand' the sight of her body is a hateful one that goes a lot deeper than simply losing attraction. The fact is, if you were thrilled with everything else about her, you'd have discovered that your taste in what appeals to you would change, too, and you'd find her shape ideal. Obviously, your relationship is not thrilling, though, and her weight gain and your porn use are in response to the unhappiness both of you feel. 

You said you make enough to support her, but that isn't the only reason people work. What do you both feel is your purpose in life? What do each of you do for fun? What could you do to introduce fun to your relationship? 

The answers to these questions will hold important keys to feeling better.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

CallaLily said:


> Does she have any hobbies she enjoys?
> She needs something she can call her own, all people do.
> 
> /QUOTE]
> ...


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## F27 (Jul 3, 2012)

Online personal training and some tips from Youtube. You can to it together


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## lotsoflove (Jun 11, 2012)

Porn is not a big deal, but it prob makes your insecure wife more insecure for the time being. Weight gain is a tough subject because it is very hard to approach. I can assure you, she is unhappier with her weight gain than you are. 

It is nice that you say you are still complimenting her and doing nice things with her. 

It could be a physical or emotional issue (I tend to think weight gain is emotional). Hopefully you can find a way to approach the issue, it needs to be addressed if it is causing issues to this extent. 

I have to say though, 165 doesn't sound that bad? Unless she is really short? Of course, you have your own taste and were attracted to her before. 

Fixating on porn...fake boobs, fake tan, fake enthusiasm...might not make it any easier to find your wife attractive at this point. Maybe try and appreciate her more.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

F27 said:


> Online personal training and some tips from Youtube. You can to it together


Do you know a good online personal trainer?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Your wife is probably bored to tears. What does she do with her time? No children and home all day?

I'm wondering about something of a spiral going on here.. she gained a few lbs, so you pull back. She notices, get depressed.. gains some more. So you pull back more.. she notices, and around and round it goes.

How many hours a week do you spend with her doing date-like things.. simple things like cuddling on the couch, walking, going to a park, etc all the way to fancy dates?


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## occasionallybaffled (Apr 12, 2012)

If I was home all day, I'd probably eat too. May have missed it but is she taking care of the home? She could do with hobbies or work. If she isn't working because your income is sufficient, she could still seek out a job/career (unless she isn't capable). If you lost your job, were injured in a car accident etc and couldn't work. What then?


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## aussiechick (Jul 1, 2012)

Put as much effort into your wife and creating emotional security as you do porn and I'm sure you will fine progress. Let her work or do what she loves, take risks and she will develop confidence... That goes q long way. Be a man and don't use excuses to justify your lack of effort in meeting her emotional needs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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