# Dealing with tough family members



## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

I think I have some experience dealing with tough people and offer these suggestions. 


1. Realize you are unlikely to change people. 

2. Try to recognize at least respect things in everyone. The interfering mother in law may be looking out for her family. 

3. You don’t have to give in but be pleasant. Mom asks you to go to uncle Jack’s birthday party when you have an important company function. You don’t have to give in or scream. Now she may up the stakes having your brother and father call, but don’t create a big fight, but don’t give in. 

4. Don't let your self-esteem and happiness be dictated by tough people. Have confidence in yourself. 

:smile2:


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## brooklynAnn (Jun 29, 2015)

I have cut off toxic people in my family. The ones who gossips and spread lies about you behind your back. Or never have anything nice to say to you when you are in their company.

When at a family gathering and I meet them, I am as polite as ever. Never giving any information on myself or family or having conversation beyond the greetings and how do you dos. I stay the hell away from them. 

This has help me quite a bit. I no longer have to listen to their lies or put downs. I don't have to spend my tears trying to figure out why they do what they do. 

I am free from their toxic bonds. Life is so much better without them.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

brooklynAnn said:


> When at a family gathering and I meet them, I am as polite as ever. Never giving any information on myself or family or having conversation beyond the greetings and how do you dos. I stay the hell away from them.


I have found that many things that I have disclosed about myself has a way of being used against. ie, Well, you've had this problem before and so on.

just like Brooklyn anne, I've found that to say "I'm fine, everything's finr, so how are you?" is the way to go.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

brooklynAnn said:


> I have cut off toxic people in my family. The ones who gossips and spread lies about you behind your back. Or never have anything nice to say to you when you are in their company.
> 
> When at a family gathering and I meet them, I am as polite as ever. Never giving any information on myself or family or having conversation beyond the greetings and how do you dos. I stay the hell away from them.
> 
> ...



Same here. I've cut off my inlaws. MIL is an overbearing bully and SIL is a troublemaker. FIL thinks the same way they do but at least keeps it to himself.

I support my husband having a relationship with his parents, but I have no desire for a fake, strained relationship with people who dislike me. Nope. I'm done.


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