# Separated but living together



## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

Hello everybody 

My story isn't different from many out there but here it goes. I cheated on my wife and got caught, let’s say she caught up to some behavior change and other stuff but never saw me with the girl. This lead to her making the decision that she deserved so much better, and she didn't want to deal with a cheater. My marriage lasted 16 years and at this point we are living together for financial reasons and In some sort of way I had hopes that things were going to start working, and they were until I found out that she have a friend. 

Now, of course I confronted the guy and he denied it and she did the same, but the calls, texts all those other signs were there. As I made peace with myself and my demons, I know that we are never going to be a marriage again, we have tried to be friends but her actions sometimes drive me Insane (she doesn't even shake my hand) she rather a nod. 

This story is long, and I'm willing to share because it kind of help me to get it out of my chest and also is giving me the strength to move forward with my life, however ; I want to know from others, how you deal with separation? How can I let her go from my mind? Any advice on how to communicate our decision to our kids? At this point is clearly to me that she have moved on, and we are already looking to go our separate ways (NYC is expensive) but is better that way, for the sake of the children and ours. 

Anyways, I’m open for answers, questions, feedback positive or negative. I been a member for a while but for some reason never posted because I felt some way sharing my story with others, but I honestly say people here are like a big family, so supportive it's amazing.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

So you cheated, your wife rightly tells you it's over, and you "confront" a guy she meets? 

Over what? That takes real nerve. 

I hope your gf was worth it Now stay out of her business. You're separated..... if you don't like what she's doing then file for divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lifecolorful (Oct 5, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> So you cheated, your wife rightly tells you it's over, and you "confront" a guy she meets?
> 
> Over what? That takes real nerve.
> 
> ...


Yes, stay away. Have some self-respect, admit to yourself it's over. Confronting people is only going to sink this ship in the _ugliest_ of ways.


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## knobcreek (Nov 18, 2015)

Go to therapy, stop looking through your exes phone, facebook, etc... Realize she's moving on and she has that right now. Your cheating ended the marriage, nothing your ex is doing now did.

Separation and dating while living together is torturous, but man, you reap what you sow here. Just man up, leave her be and talk it out with a therapist and look to start separating finances and file for divorce.


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## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

lifecolorful said:


> Yes, stay away. Have some self-respect, admit to yourself it's over. Confronting people is only going to sink this ship in the _ugliest_ of ways.


I agree and I only confronted the guy I guess over male ego, but since then I learned my place and never again. 

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## plomito (Apr 7, 2015)

knobcreek said:


> Go to therapy, stop looking through your exes phone, facebook, etc... Realize she's moving on and she has that right now. Your cheating ended the marriage, nothing your ex is doing now did.
> 
> Separation and dating while living together is torturous, but man, you reap what you sow here. Just man up, leave her be and talk it out with a therapist and look to start separating finances and file for divorce.


I know and this is why I wanted to share it because is time to let it go and go on with my life. I also want to share I don't look in her social media life, is none of my business and I don't want that unnecessary drama I have enough with my own demons 

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