# My wife wants children, but I don't think I want to anymore.



## testudoAubreii (Sep 1, 2010)

Is there anyway that I can get this thread deleted?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You cannot change a diaper? Or you just don't know how?

You're going to end up divorced anyway, if you don't change your mind, so you might as well tell her now.

fwiw, you may want to wait a while on that decision. We waited 10 years of marriage before we had our daughter, used those years to do all the things you describe. By the time we were ready, _we were ready_, you know? It was a good decision to make.

But you owe her the truth at any rate.


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## testudoAubreii (Sep 1, 2010)

delete please


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

If it is solely because of the crazy antics of your relatives's kids, I hope you realize that, in normal situations, kids don't act like that. At home, without a 'situation' going on, they can be charming, loving, helpful, and fun. But put them in a room full of other kids, and it's party time.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Of course you're allowed to change your mind; but at the same time, she's allowed to not change hers. You definitely need to tell her. And I would say, unless she too has changed her mind and not informed you, that you are probably right in thinking that your marriage will end. But would you rather keep this a secret, in essence LIE to her, for the next 10 or 15 years, until she's been deprived of the ability to have a child and still end up divorced, only now she resents you because you not only changed your mind, but you then hid that from her and prevented her from having the child she really wanted to have? At least by telling her now, there's a chance things could end amicably and you could at least remain friends. 

People could be right in saying that you'd feel differently if it were your own; sometimes that happens. But not always, and you shouldn't have a child with the hope that you'll enjoy it because it's yours. Not fair to the child. 

And here's a secret about diapers and such: I can't stand to change the diaper of a child that's not mine; the smell and sight make me gag, as does anything to do with vomit, etc. BUT...when it's my own child, doesn't bother me in the slightest. I've been pooped on, peed on, puked on, etc. by my own kids and it doesn't even faze me. I don't know if it's a biological thing that nature has created in us to enable us to care for our children properly or what, but don't assume that you wouldn't be able to deal. Besides, even if you did find that you just couldn't do it, I'm sure you and your wife would be able to agree on a compromise, perhaps where you do all the feeding if she'll change the diapers. 

I definitely think you need to tell her, and very soon, but I also think it wouldn't hurt to give it a couple more days and give it some more thought, just to be sure. As much as it would suck to deprive her of having a child, or to end up divorced because she wants one and you don't, what would suck even more is telling her you don't want one, getting divorced, and then discovering that you did in fact want a child after all.


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## testudoAubreii (Sep 1, 2010)

delete please


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Why?


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## trev (May 23, 2009)

testudoAubreii said:


> Is there anyway that I can get this thread deleted?


Inbox chris h 
and ask ?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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