# question for all young divorced people on the forum



## jenny89 (Dec 29, 2013)

So 2 years ago I discovered my husband has been active on dating websites, chat rooms, calling prostitutes etc. I had no job and was new to the area. I gave him approx. 3 or 4 chances to change, or what I would describe big fights with him giving me silent treatment until I would show up in tears begging him to change and his promises that were never fulfilled - I know love can do crazy things to people.

So 2 years later to present situation. I worked hard to become financially independent and familiar with the area and I made a lot of friends, because I am just a good caring person, which so sad in today's world - means people probably will take advantage of it (aka. men).

I discovered again his lies and bull**** and expected him to go to the therapy, well at least i thought he will try, right? Well he didn't, he basically told me the marriage is over etc.etc. and he moved out. 

It's not like I don't feel relieve. I do feel it, but it's still heartbreaking and the most f... up thing I ever had to go through life (actually still going). 

I am trying to not overthink it and be scared about the future but I guess I just need reassurance that everything will be okay.. Especially those of you that went through this... did u ever regret it ? did u fall in love afterwards? How long did it take you to feel better emotionally?


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## laroo (Feb 16, 2013)

jenny89 said:


> I am trying to not overthink it and be scared about the future but I guess I just need reassurance that everything will be okay.. Especially those of you that went through this... did u ever regret it ? did u fall in love afterwards? How long did it take you to feel better emotionally?


I am glad that you became independent and that this has been a relief to you. No need to waste time with him. Everything will be okay. I don't regret anything because my former spouse hurt me and also cheated. So I had a reason to let go. I do look back and think there were things I could have done differently but I just make note of those things so hopefully I will be better in my next relationship/s. 

My divorce was two years ago now. The love I have found and experiences I have had since then have been amazing. I never would have thought I could look at another man after my husband but I have definitely already been in love again. 

I actually realized that I had been totally missing out on cuddles in my marriage! My former spouse was always too hot for cuddles but my more recent boyfriends (I have had two now) both loved cuddling and WOW to think I could have been married forever and missed out on all that cuddling blows my mind! 

I do still have some issues because I was a little scarred from verbal and emotional abuse in my marriage so I have some self esteem issues and issues with being vulnerable and being myself around other people. 

I do still talk to my former spouse on occasion. I actually went to him for relationship advice not that long ago because although he and I couldn't get along when living together...we still have a deeper bond as friends that, without the tension in marriage, we can still draw from as friends at a distance.


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