# Joint or Separate Bank Accounts? (or both)



## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

Random question for y'all-

In a marriage do you believe in joint or separate bank accounts? Why?

I'm curious about what people think about it, I just heard it debated on the radio and it seems like a very divisive issue. 

My fiance and I are planning on making a joint account for paying bills and whatnot, along with most likely retaining some individual accounts (with transparency about spending) just for the sake of having multiple ways to regulate cash flow. It has never occurred to me to keep funds entirely separate- to me it sounds kind of weird especially if one person makes a significant amount more. It smacks of "this is MY money" as opposed to "our" money, and that seems awfully negative to me.


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## Jeff/BC (Apr 1, 2012)

When we got together Carol wanted to have separate accounts. She knew little about relationships and her financial situation was much better than mine... as was her bookkeeping skills. I totally understand her concerns. I countered with, "I see. OK then... one account and YOU control it. I'll get an allowance every week. Does that satisfy your concerns?"

With me, it's "team" all the way. There is no "my" and "your".


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## mommyofthree (Jan 7, 2012)

I do not agree with separate accounts after marriage.
We both work and both of our cheques are directly deposited into our joint account and all bills are paid out of that account.

We each have a card and for the most part it works great.


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## Knoxvillekelly (Mar 17, 2012)

When you are married, you are one person, in the law and in god. I say one bank account


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## kittykat09 (Mar 26, 2012)

I found it very strange that Separate Accounts "won" the debate I listened to. :scratchhead:


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## Jeff74 (Feb 11, 2012)

My wife and I have always had separate bank accounts and we never argue about money. This works well for us and both of us! She and I work equally as hard (we are both attorneys) and we split the bills fairly. What's nice about separate accounts is that we never have to do discuss what we are spending, etc. For example, when she went out and got a new car she just went out and got it..there was no need for any discussion.

Financial issues rank highly on the list of marital problems but the way we do are finances we have never had this as an issue in our relationship.

I realize some couples have a joint account and that's fine...but like I said, for us, separate accounts works great.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thomasmoore (Feb 27, 2012)

my STBXW and i had a joint account together and then both had our separate account and it worked great. she didnt see or care where i spent my money and i didn't see where she spent hers. there was no argument about money.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

I'd say at least keep a separate savings.

when I left hubs he drained "our" account, spent it on coke, and left me with the bills.

all the reason I need to not share banks with someone again.


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## JJG (Mar 9, 2011)

Fiancee and i have both. We have out seperate accounts then pay a certain amount into a joint account every month to pay the bills. The person who earns more pays more in so that we are left with around the same amount of personal spending money each month.

We dont plan on changing this when we get married as it works so well for us. I like that when i buy him a gift the money doesnt have to come out of a joint account.

Also, we have agreed that if one of us ever becomes a SAHP then we will keep the same arrangement but when the bill money is paid in the money left over will be split in half between the two personal accounts. That way we can avoid the SAHP feeling like they need to 'ask permission' before spending . . . 

Works for us


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

kittykat09 said:


> In a marriage do you believe in joint or separate bank accounts? Why?


I like separate better. The 1 thing I learned from having a brother is that sharing never works under any circumstance. Take food, for example. We get a box that has 10 chocolate. My brother eats 7 and I only have 3. I get pissed off and scream at him and he smiles at me with chocolate on his teeth. I imagine that's also what he would look like if he went totally insane and started eating poop that had nuts in it....

Keeping bills separate makes it much harder to fight over money. The Wife can buy whatever garbage she wants because that's her own money.


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## borninapril (Jun 6, 2011)

Separate works for us, but it's all about what works fort you. My parents thinks it crazy that we don't have a joint account but my wife will just go out and spend.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

Jeff74 said:


> My wife and I have always had separate bank accounts and we never argue about money. This works well for us and both of us! She and I work equally as hard (we are both attorneys) and we split the bills fairly. What's nice about separate accounts is that we never have to do discuss what we are spending, etc. *For example, when she went out and got a new car she just went out and got it..there was no need for any discussion.*
> Financial issues rank highly on the list of marital problems but the way we do are finances we have never had this as an issue in our relationship.
> 
> I realize some couples have a joint account and that's fine...but like I said, for us, separate accounts works great.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Regardless of whether we had separate accounts or not, this would never fly with me. A car is a huge expense and one that should absloutely be discussed.

Nevertheless, we have a joint account. It was the way our parents did it, and we felt it was just part of being a team. I understand that others do it (and might even consider it under different circumstances - second marriage, kids from a previous relationship, etc.), but for my first (and hopefully only) marriage I could not do it differently.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

We have been together over 25 years and always maintained separate checking and savings accounts as well as credit cards. We have full transparency to each other's financial information. The checks have both our names on them and we have signature rights on all accounts. We both have passwords to each others financial accounts and investments. We have only once had an argument about money and that was years ago. We also share very common beliefs in how we spend our money. We have complete trust in the others financial decisions. That's probably the real key. (No CC debt, only one car loan at a time and a fixed rate mortgage within 6 years of paying off.) There is no my money, your billls... it is always ours. We discuss any purchase over $500 for agreement. Otherwise do what you will. Who pays what is fairly fluid as my income lives and dies by the commission and can vary significantly from month to month. I think everyone needs to handle finances in the manner that best suits them but for us separate is better.


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## Bottled Up (Nov 12, 2011)

Married 8 years and always had joint accounts (but separate credit cards). I'm the financial controller b/c my wife wants nothing to do with bills. We have full transparency so there's no trust issues really.

It only makes sense that if you're going to get married then you would have a joint account. You "join" when you marry so why wouldn't you join your finances to pay the family bills?

It does make sense to me to have separate accounts though for extra / disposable money for your own free spending too. But when it comes to bills, you both own them so why not have a joint account to pay for them???


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## Voiceofreason (Mar 6, 2011)

Over thirty years of exclusively joint accounts here. All for one, one for all, our money. I make waaaay more than my wife, but it is all OUR money, both legally and in my mind--we are a team all the way. Separate accounts would create separateness for our finances that seems foreign to the idea of a marriage. That is my thinking, but I might have a different view if I didn't trust my wife, for instance if she was an excessive spender. And if separate accounts work for a couple, all power to them.


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## studley (Oct 19, 2011)

We have both a joint checking account and I have my own. It was recommended to me to have a separate one since because of her failing health & mental problems. Should she become institutionalized, they can't take what is mine.


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## MidwestMan (Mar 11, 2011)

I believe in joint accounts. (Even though I just mentioned going to separate accounts. But that's another story.)

I feel that if everyone pulls their weight, puts in time either at work or at home, then it shouldn't matter. If one spouse stays at home or is part time it shouldn't matter as long as they are helping more in other ways. 

I have a better paying job than my wife, but not by much. But she works 4 days a week while I work the customary 5. But all the money goes into the same checking account And all the bills get paid out of that same account. We agreed to a budget and work to stick to it. We also both get an "allowance" each week that we can do whatever we want with. 

I really think this works great. However our system has had it's issues. If you want to handle your finances wisely you have to put time and effort into it. In our case the wife wants nothing to do with the finances. She wants to collect her weekly allowance, spend money when I say it is okay to spend, and stop spending when I tell her to stop. 

But after years of this, I am tired of having the responsibility of the finances. When the budget gets out of whack or something comes up I'm the one trying to figure out how to deal with it. When it comes to saying yes or no on purchases I fell like I'm the bad guy as I'm the one that always has to say "no". I'm the one that has to tell the kids "we can't eat out tonite". Or that "we can't buy you that item today".

Not only that, my wife wants to add new things to the budget, but won't work with me on how to do it. She just tells me to "make it work" and then tell her what to do. 

For some couples having one person do all finances might work well. If so I think a joint checking is great. For others it could cause all kinds of fights. So it really could depend on how each of you view the chore of finances.

But remember, you can always change it. If joint doesn't work then go separate. If separate doesn't work then go joint. 

But makes sure to discuss it up front. Discuss it often. And support each other.


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## missy_me (Mar 23, 2012)

I am a strong believer in a joint account, but I also would not marry someone who did not have the same financial mindset/goals as me. In my life, that is something very important, so if I couldn't trust how much he would spend, I wouldn't be marrying him. I respect other people have a different opinion than me, but for me, separate accounts would just be "masking" a bigger issue. And if we had separate accounts and he could spend his money on whatever he wanted, what would happen if he lost his job? Why would it be fair that then I'd have to start paying from my account if he did not plan accordingly and save up enough to get by? What if I am ready to retire and travel because I've saved and saved, but he never is because he spends his money in his account differently? Just too many variables at play for me.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

We have a joint account. We always have and it works for us.
I know others that have separate accounts and it works for them.


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