# Best Friend Cheating again



## lady1984j (Oct 30, 2009)

Hi everyone..
This is my first post. My name is Jennifer. I'm 25. I'm not married, but my best friend of 4 years(also named Jennifer) is and she is cheating on her husband again. I need advice on this whole thing because honestly, I do not have a good feeling about it. First of all, she is 31, married for 8 years, and her husband is 54. She met him when she was 18 and he was married with his first wife. They had a 5 year affair and got married a month or so after he divorced his first wife. Since day one of their marriage, she has never been happy with her husband. He pays 70 percent alimony to his ex and he supports his 3 kids, even though they are now all over 22. She is very miserable. She is still in college. She works in the Chemistry Department, but she doesn't make much money. He basically pays all the bills so that's why she is still with him. He is very unhappy too because she doesn't cook for him and he has to do everything. So he does have his sarcastic and angry comments. He can get verbally abusive, but I do understand his point of view. Because of her unhappiness, she has always cheated on with him with various guys. From the four years I've known her, she has been with 7 guys. All of which have ended very badly. I was the abily for 6 of these guys, but this latest guy (Juan) I've refused. She swears up and down to me that Juan is different from the others. This guy and I used to have a "casual" relationship. We would go out and all. I had sex with him twice, but I stopped when I wanted something more and he told me that he was "leaving" to South America after we graduate and then I saw on his myspace that he had a "relationship" with another girl so I shrugged it off and started looking for something better, which I have. Well Jennifer asked me during the summer if it was okay if she would have fun with Juan. I thought it was going to be a one time thing so I told her that I didn't care. Well for a month now she and Juan are having a "relationship." She tells me all the time how different he is to her, how he treats her so well, how he is even planning the future with her(he said that they can move into a apartment together when they graduate). Mind you, they once in a while go see a movie, but most of the time they are at his family's house and either have sex, play video games, ect. I had my suspicions that he has feelings for me and his ex gf so I stopped talking to him, but she told me that he swears that doesn't and that he really likes her. Mind you before I stopped talking to him he kept asking me about my love life. Honestly, I haven't been enthusiatic about it. It gives me a really bad feeling. Something keeps telling me that its going to end very badly and I need to stay away. She pulled me aside on Wednesday and asked me why I've been acting cold and indifferent, that I should be happy for her, that she is in love with him, he introduced her to his family(they don't know she is married), and she wants me to make peace with him. I told her how I felt. I told her that all guys are nice in the beginning, but she needs to keep her eyes open and not be blind. I know she didn't listen, but honestly I don't know what to do anymore. Am I right having this bad feeling? What should I do?


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## Princesa (Oct 25, 2009)

I think you are very sweet to be concerned for your friend, but the truth is that when it comes to a man and woman's affair (or matters of the heart between 2 people) usually no one listens to a third party. They do what they want to do and then it ends up with them learning a lesson or the usual "I told you so". And the worst part is that if you get involved, you will be in the middle of a blame. The best thing you can do for your friend is let her know where you stand but then hold your piece and dont get in the middle. Take it from me, my mother got in the middle of my, my sister, and my brothers affairs and i know she was only trying to help, but she ended up paying for her advice. I feel sorry for her and love her to death and I'm sorry she got crucified for it.


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