# Husband is 36 and flirted with a 15 year old



## ER75 (Oct 26, 2012)

Before we got married my husband (been married 3 months) was "drunk" and flirted with a 15 year old girl via text and phone. I found out about his through the girls mother. I was freaked out about it so I asked my Husband (then boyfriend) and he confirmed it. Said he was drunk and it was stupid, but it continued for a few days afterwards. He has always been with older woman (besides one younger in her 20's). So I do not think he has a "fetish" for teens, but I was/am still freaked out about it and cant get over it. I cant help to think he may leave me some day for a younger girl. He says he loves me and that will never happen, but every time we are out and around teens, it makes me uneasy, and I think he is staring at them. Never "caught" him, but still. He always comments when I wear really "girly" stuff like bows and polka dots on my underwear. For Halloween he pointed out a "younger" looking costume. Is it all in my head? Like I said he told me he prefers older women, but I dont know!


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

ER75 said:


> Before we got married my husband (been married 3 months) was "drunk" and flirted with a 15 year old girl via text and phone. I found out about his through the girls mother. I was freaked out about it so I asked my Husband (then boyfriend) and he confirmed it. Said he was drunk and it was stupid, but it continued for a few days afterwards. He has always been with older woman (besides one younger in her 20's). So I do not think he has a "fetish" for teens, but I was/am still freaked out about it and cant get over it. I cant help to think he may leave me some day for a younger girl. He says he loves me and that will never happen, but every time we are out and around teens, it makes me uneasy, and I think he is staring at them. Never "caught" him, but still. He always comments when I wear really "girly" stuff like bows and polka dots on my underwear. For Halloween he pointed out a "younger" looking costume. Is it all in my head? Like I said he told me he prefers older women, but I dont know!


Unfortunately, some men do like to look at younger "women". Unfortunately, some of those younger "women" are really still girls. Fortunately, if they act upon their urges they will go to jail and get in a heap of trouble (if not beat the hell up by the girl's father and uncles). 

The whole incident with the 15 year old...not cool. I can totally understand your paranoia. 

A lot of men are pigs and there is a reason there is such a big market for sexy school-girl costumes. If you want to stay with him and can stomach it, please him by wearing the polka-dots or youthful costumes. This may just be the ticket for keeping things exciting in your marriage. If you are creeped out by it and can't handle it, try IC and MC if you feel the need. 

Good luck!


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

I wouldn't be worried about him leaving you for a younger woman I would be worried that he is a pedophile!


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

Sorry....but your right to be paranoid. Its a bit creepy but I honestly would only start being concerned if it happened again. Also I would say embrase the younger costume or that your husband likes certain things. It could be fun! 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ER75 (Oct 26, 2012)

I am paying attention to see if it happens again, I have not noticed anything. So I do not think he is a "pedophile". Thats just crazy. Maybe it was just a one time stupid thing


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

DayDream said:


> Unfortunately, some men do like to look at younger "women". Unfortunately, some of those younger "women" are really still girls. Fortunately, if they act upon their urges they will go to jail and get in a heap of trouble (if not beat the hell up by the girl's father and uncles).
> 
> The whole incident with the 15 year old...not cool. I can totally understand your paranoia.
> 
> ...


I'd be greatly forced to say that he just has an affinity for wanting to wear orange jump-suits! In fact, they can become so very striking and comfortable, that given the proper evidenciary circumstances, the State may just decide not to give him anything else other than those to have in his new wardrobe!


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

I'm sorry but a 36 year old having a 15 year olds phone number and texting and calling? That is beyond creepy and something that I don't think should just be overlooked. No 36 year old has any business ever doing that.


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## growtogether (Feb 27, 2012)

How much does he know your insecurity towards he act? How much do you guys talk about this subject? 
What need to happen for you to feel happy in your relationship?


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## Soifon (Oct 5, 2012)

ER75 said:


> I am paying attention to see if it happens again, I have not noticed anything. So I do not think he is a "pedophile". Thats just crazy. Maybe it was just a one time stupid thing


Do you have children? Try to visualize what a 15 year old is actually like and their maturity level, it's not crazy. Pedophiles don't just go after little kids. A 15 year old may not be elementary but it is still a child.


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Soifon said:


> I'm sorry but a 36 year old having a 15 year olds phone number and texting and calling? That is beyond creepy and something that I don't think should just be overlooked. No 36 year old has any business ever doing that.


I do agree... :scratchhead:


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Soifon said:


> Do you have children? Try to visualize what a 15 year old is actually like and their maturity level, it's not crazy. Pedophiles don't just go after little kids. A 15 year old may not be elementary but it is still a child.


Has the OP watched Lolita? Could be an eye opener.


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## Emerald (Aug 2, 2012)

What did the teen's Mother say when she contacted to you?

Check his computer for teen porn.

He said he was drunk but then continued to text her for a few days when he was sober? I would have postponed the wedding but too late for you.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

This happened before the wedding is that right? Why did you go ahead and marry him?

The whole episode is revolting, I could not respect a man like that.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

How did he know this girl, and get her number? Did he know how young she was before he was doing that?

Details may change my opinion, however that is truly creepy and disturbing, quite clearly into immoral (pedophile) territory.


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## ShawnD (Apr 2, 2012)

ER75 said:


> Before we got married my husband (been married 3 months) was "drunk" and flirted with a 15 year old girl via text and phone.


Totally cool as long as she was cute 
Why did he have her number in the first place? Did he ask for her number while sober on a previous day or did he ask while drinking with her? Both seem a little unusual.




> but it continued for a few days afterwards.


He was cruising for sex while dating you and you still married him?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Yuck. My daughter is 13 and i just read this to my husband and he said he's surprised the man is still alive cause he would have killed any pervy 36 year old man texting our child. 

He knew she was 15, right? Why did the mother tell you? This wasn't a red flag for you?


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## galian84 (May 7, 2012)

Uh...yeah, that is kind of creepy. He's allowed to think a 15-year old girl is cute, and it's okay to look...but flirting with her over text? He shouldn't be acting on it! He's the adult, not her.

I'd totally be creeped out if my boyfriend did something like this.

However, the dressing up thing might be kind of fun, depending on whether you can stomach it (as someone else said above).


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

All I can say is ICK.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

This is some out of line crap... To think a 15 year old looks good is very much possible, because some can't really be physically distinguished from a grown woman, but to flirt while knowing she is 15... Creep factor at max. Surprised the girl's father didn't gun down for him. 

I have a daughter, if something like this ever happens i'll be doing damage for sure.


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## justanaveragejoe (Sep 21, 2012)

wow,

i am pretty much your husbands age, i will go out on a limb here and will honestly admit that i have seen many younger girls over the years that i have found to be very attractive, 

although they were all probably alot older than 15, but sometimes very difficult to tell these days when girls seem to be developing younger and younger,

but looking is alot different than acting upon those urges, 

any older male that says he does not look at younger females is either lying or gay, younger females will always be attractive to a male, doesnt matter how old the male is,

i will be looking at younger females till the day i die,

however, the difference between me and your husband is, i am a grown mature man, and i know that talking to, or flirting with a girl of that age would be inappropriate, wrong, disturbing, and creepy,

drinking would be no excuse,

if he flirted with her AFTER he already KNEW she was 15, that would be even more disturbing,


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## AsTheStoryGoes (Oct 10, 2012)

A lot of guys will look at younger girls and find them attractive..I don't think they can help it but it's not okay to act on those urges. I have even talked to my husband about this topic before. It's so hard now a days because sometimes you really can't tell a girl's age, and then there are the ones who lie about their age..guys need to be really careful. 

But what your husband did wasn't okay..hopefully he didn't know she was 15? Even then, not okay...he shouldn't be flirting with any other women inappropriately..let alone a teenager. You have a right to be paranoid (not to mention EFFING PISSED OFF!). Bring it out in the open to your husband how much it bothers you and try and work it out. There needs to be complete honesty. The more you keep it inside and wonder/worry about it the more it's going to fester and it's going to drive you crazy!


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## Terry_CO (Oct 23, 2012)

Almost all guys DO look at younger women. It's a reflex. But knowing the girl is 15 and pursuing more of a relationship (I'm sorry, but texting is _way_ beyond normal flirting) ...... And since most pedophiles cannot be cured ......

Run.


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

{Just an aside}

AsTheStoryGoes: I **LOVE** your Betty White quote! I'm thinkin of telling some people I know to "grow a 'gina" !! :rofl:


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Basically your now H was actually classed as beieng a "groomer". In most civilized countries this is a sexual offence. In some European countries 15 is a legal age to consent for sex. But this young lady is still a child and despite stating he was drunck, he did it for days after (boy that was some drinking spree) and Only that the girls mother came on to you and "freaked out" you may have known nothing about it, especially as it may not have been the first instance of this. 
As a father of a girl, I would have waited until night, approached him and we would have had a very adult conversation which would have resulted in the A&E Unit at the local hospital having to remove said phone from somewhere high up in the bowel. 
But you have to take responsibility for something here, did you need to marry him after his seeking underage females. I certainly would be scare in your position not of the "younger model" that could turn up but of the Police officeer arresting him for Grooming a minor or having unlawful sex with a minor.


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