# When to say I love you



## trexy66 (Apr 19, 2008)

How early in a realtionship is it advisable to say I love you?Can you have an instant attraction?


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## cheewagacheewaga (Aug 28, 2008)

Eh, when it feels right? That's the best answer I can give. But just remember: just because you feel something doesn't mean she feels the same way.


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## loveandmarriage (Aug 8, 2008)

I think definitely not when you first feel you maybe in love. It is best to really think about WHY you love the person because it possible that you might be getting caught up in the newness of it all. 

A friend of mine once told me that a sure fire way to tell if you love someone is to see them when they first wake up and smell their morning breath, or when they are sick and you don't mind getting sick while aiding them to recovery, or after they have stunk up your bathroom. If you still have that "loving feeling" then it is probably love.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Well, try it as: "I love the way you..." or "I love when you do..." or anything about them. 

See if they reciprocate. 

Then you can decide if "I love you" is ready to be spoken.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i think the same way - if its feels right . just say it. just remember it might not be said back. but atleast you said how you feel.


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

Don't say it unless you really mean it. Attraction is one thing, but those words are sometimes said, and the person doesn't really feel that way.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

but you might not know it, unless you say it. so its a catch 22.


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## Ashley (Oct 21, 2008)

When you feel love then say it
if you feel fears to say it, are more important than speaking your love to someone, then what are you doing with that person?

Love should come first and shouldn't go by the brains' filter but come directly from the heart.

You say it when you feel it and feel to say it.

Waiting to be sure is an excuse some use to hidde that they are simply scared to look dumb, and also rather protect themselves than show some real feelings.

Thats how other get hurted too.

If you cannot say "I dont love you" because you know it isnt true, then say i love you!

:smthumbup:


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

I don't do things or say things unless I really mean it. 
I can tell a friend love ya and give a hug, but to say I love you should have meaning to it. Not said to get what you want from people.


Do you think saying I love you too much is a bad thing and loses it meaning? 

I don't think so, and I will say it a lot, but only if I truly know I love the person. 

I know..shut up, Mel  you make no sense at all. 

I never like to hurt anyone, or lead anyone to believe there is more there than there is.

I will not say "I think I love you". It is either yeah I do, baby, or I love you only as I would a friend.


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## Ashley (Oct 21, 2008)

Honey said:


> I don't do things or say things unless I really mean it.
> I can tell a friend love ya and give a hug, but to say I love you should have meaning to it. Not said to get what you want from people.
> 
> 
> ...



If you know in your heart that you love the person then you should say it, without waiting.

And without trying to convince yourself that it is only friendhsip, just to make it rational, maybe if that love is surprising in anyway, or with someone you never thought you could be with, in that way.

Some people do it if it is someone from work, or someone they have known since long as friend. Then they have a difficult time admitting their love for the person.

I never understood why. 

I didnt ment to say I love you to someone just to get your way and what you want, but to say it when you feel it.

I also think it is what trexy66 was asking about.


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## Mclovin84 (Oct 1, 2008)

My GF told me that she "really liked me alot" about 3 weeks after we meet and I knew then that she wanted to say love but didn't. I felt it too but waited for her to say it. She told me about 5 weeks into the relationship to tell me she loved me. 

If it feels right then tell her.... just remeber that she may not feel the same way and could possible scare her.

Hope this helps.
Eric


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## Ashley (Oct 21, 2008)

yes it is true too, not too early and not too late.. some wait two years and still cant do it. :rofl:


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

I dated a guy who dropped the 'L' bomb after a few dates and it didn't scare me away but it should have...I later realized he didn't really have a handle on what that meant. It should have been 'I only want you dating me right now...till I meet someone better...then I will cheat on you and flip flop back and forth for months' Knowing that back then would have saved me a lot of emotional distress!


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## Ashley (Oct 21, 2008)

i am sad to hear that.. 

But too early isnt good either. The 2 cant really know about it yet.

Again some wait too long and then they lose the person who beleive that he/she dont love Her/him..

I think to say it as it happen is important. As you feel it. Usualy if you love someone you know it, but many are scared of the feeling or of saying it, or of both.

I dont understand why. When you say I love you you dont say i love you for the rest of my life.
Its not lieke signing a contract of marriage or saying yes at church. 
Its the feeling you have now. 
It engage you into being loyal to your love and to the one you love but it shouldnt be taken as something as dramatic as many do.


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## freeshias4me (Dec 4, 2007)

"If you cannot say "I dont love you" because you know it isnt true, then say i love you!"

I love that! It sounds so optimistic!


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## marius6288 (Feb 6, 2010)

i said i love you without even knowing him, seeing him, or hearing his voice. But when i did, i kept saying I love you just the same. I still do. I guess you will know it when it happens.


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## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

I told my Valentine that today I was just going to use the word very liberally - just today only to get into the spirit. I guess we (esp. guys) are very guarded about using that loaded word.


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## jen121419 (Feb 22, 2010)

trexy66 said:


> How early in a realtionship is it advisable to say I love you?Can you have an instant attraction?


I think my husband first said it within a month of meeting me, and of course I was thrilled to hear it and said it right back. I don't think either of us thought we were pledging our undying love to each other... it was just sweet and spontaneous, and that's how I think it should always be.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

trexy66 said:


> How early in a realtionship is it advisable to say I love you?Can you have an instant attraction?


If you have had a pitcher of margaritas, you can absolutely have instant attraction. And saying 'I love you' becomes as easy as rolling out of bed. Until you actually roll out of bed the next day.


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## rellik (Feb 20, 2010)

There is also a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. It is not the same thing. Love friends, but not in love with them.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Well, I'm way late in responding to this, but oh, well. I think, if you feel it and you feel comfortable saying it, you should. My boyfriend told me when we'd been dating for not quite two weeks. We'd both felt it since our second date, but we held off a little longer, although we did both hint around at it before he said it. I did say it back to him when he said it. But there were other men who, had they said it at that point, would have sent me running for the hills. It's really a game of chance: if you don't say it, you risk losing them, and if you do say it, you risk them not returning the sentiment. I think if you really feel it, and you really believe it's real, then you should tell them.


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## azmo (Jul 8, 2010)

I said it just after our first kiss 
I guess it was a good time.

She keeps saying I should say it more often (I say it about everytime we're together).


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## Nickj (Aug 30, 2010)

When you fell that you trust her and she is also trusting you then say "I love you" because trust is more important in this relationship. All the best.:smthumbup:


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