# Where to Now???



## Standing_Firm (Mar 20, 2012)

I have posted a couple of times.........going through a divorce right now and it has been brutal!!!

I have tried to use alcohol to ease the pain and as you can imagine, that has not worked. Spending time in the county jail does not ease the pain.........I will tell you that I am admitting that I have a problem and am getting ready to start a rehab program............

What do I do? I still care for this person, but right now, don't want to see her at all!!! I miss my kids, but can't go see them right now...............

Very lost.........


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## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

Well it sounds like you've made the first step by recognizing there is a problem. Don't use drugs to make yourself feel better it always ends up with you in more pain then when you started.

Its going to be a tough road, but you need to sit up straight, adjust your thinking cap on and move forward. You can't control what your spouse thinks or does, but you can make yourself a better person all around and that will have the biggest chance of fixing things for you and possibly repairing your relationship. A divorce is not the end of a relationship. Many people get divorced and later get remarried and have a better relationship. You need to become the person she wants and that takes very hard work. If in the end you still lose her that hard work will pay off in a better more happy life with a great women who you deserve. Its not the end. Its only at our lowest points that we feel so miserable that we cannot imagine ever being happy again, but pain fades and you can't be unhappy forever. 

Try to think positive. You know the things you can do to better yourself better then anybody. You just need to make yourself jump into action and get at it. Try and block any negative thoughts you have and replace them with positive ones. People can sense your inner thoughts through subtle movements and expressions. Things you cannot hide. Its human instinct. If you think negative, people will pick up on that and run away. Plus it just makes you feel worse and worse about yourself. Its a proven fact.


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## Standing_Firm (Mar 20, 2012)

Luckily I have a very good friend that has been through this with me from the start. He (and his wife) have been walking this road with me from the very beginning. They used to be very good friends of our family but as you can imagine, that has all but gone away.

Like I said, I still have STRONG feelings for this person, probably always will. It just pains me so being away from her and the family. Albeit a little too late, I KNOW that alcohol is NOT the answer. Before it gets really out of control, I want to nip it mainly for me, but for the sake of my children as well.

I don't know that I could ever go back to her.......maybe there will come a day. Who knows. I do have some hurdles to overcome, but I will take whatever is given to me, hopefully with a possitive attitude, and try to move on the best that I can.

Thanks for the advice...........


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