# Allowance: kids



## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Hey.

Anyone care to share what they do (or have done) for giving young kids an allowance? (or indeed... IF).

We have 2 kids: 7 & 5. I really wanted them to start understanding money.. finally the wife gave in.. she was not really that big on the idea. 

Anyway she put up a little 'chores' whiteboard with things they can do every day (make the bed (sorta), help set the table for dinner.. put food out for the cat, that sort of thing. Each day they do these things they get a checkmark on the board. If they dont do it, no check. At the end of the week they tally it up... 25 cents for each checkmark...and it may come out to... oh about $3 bucks. Functionally this all works nicely.

$3 bucks though.. seems a little cheap to me? I mean, you would need to save for a month just to go see a movie.

The other problem I have is that I think chores should be mandatory, and my DW has set this up.. and in fact asks if they want to do these things when the time comes. I suppose about 1/2 the time the answer is 'no'. I think they should agree (or not) to something for the week - and then be held to it.

Yeah, they are very young of course - but if you dont really expect them to have to pay for anything - does this system help? Believe me - I am WELL aware of setting the bar too high for allowance... its not like I want to start sprinkling $20 bills on a 7 year old. Sheesh.


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

I think your wife has the right balance. You think she is being cheap and then in the next sentence you said you think chores should be mandatory.

We pay our kids for A's in school. That is their big job, and we stress that. I figure, if they are getting a lot of A's and I have to pay out $100 when report cards come home they may get merit money when they apply to colleges.

My son recieved 15k in merit money per year. I dont think I paid him that in report card money. LOL


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

yeah, school work always comes first. We appear to be lucky so far - they are both doing surprisingly well and (perhaps more importantly) they enjoy it and are eager participants in just about everything and get high marks for effort and conduct.

So - you didnt give them any allowance other than report cards?


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Oh... yeah... cheap and mandatory... 2 totally different things, right?

Im thinking double it to about 50 cents per chore... and again, not let them weasel out of it when they dont feel like it. That would be closer to $5 bucks a week and they would learn what it means to take on a task for a week and stick to it. (keep in mind, these are small things... it not like I have them waxing the driveway)

I think part of the (my) problem is that we really havent set any guidelines as to what, exactly, we should expect the little ones to pay for. Or not. Its sort of a can of worms once you open it.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Another idea is to award them $20/month. Set up the same things they HAVE TO do. For everything they don't do, remove $0.50 or $1.

One problem we had/have with allowance is the kids were given money, but their mother didn't allow them to make their own decisions on spending it. They would want a specific toy/game and she would not allow them to buy it. It is now to the point where they don't value having money, because they aren't allowed to spend it on what they want. My opinion is to let them learn by maybe making a few bad decisions, but of course my opinion isn't really considered. Actually, it is considered and then I am considered stupid for having the opinion.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

SadSamIAm said:


> Another idea is to award them $20/month. Set up the same things they HAVE TO do. For everything they don't do, remove $0.50 or $1.
> 
> One problem we had/have with allowance is the kids were given money, but their mother didn't allow them to make their own decisions on spending it. They would want a specific toy/game and she would not allow them to buy it. It is now to the point where they don't value having money, because they aren't allowed to spend it on what they want. My opinion is to let them learn by maybe making a few bad decisions, but of course my opinion isn't really considered. Actually, it is considered and then I am considered stupid for having the opinion.


Uhm. Sorry about all that.

but I think your thought agrees with mine that we should have some way to articulate what is expected by way of expenses.. and if they blow it all on...you know... plastic poop or something, how that all works. Its not the money that matters - but getting them into the relationship between cash and their own control over some of the things they may want.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Here's what we did (our kids are now 22, 20, and 18)

Every month starting when they were about 5 I had $20 automatically transferred into their bank accounts. This was money they got just because they're part of the family - they didn't have to do anything to earn it. They were supposed to save this money up for a year and every year around Dec 1 we would go and withdraw the cash and they would do their Christmas shopping. They always had to buy a toy for Santas Anonymous, something worth $10 or so, and spend the rest on whoever was on the Christmas list I had them make up. If they were frugal (but not cheap) they got to keep a bit for themselves.

Around this age they were also expected to start helping out around the house on a regular basis doing simple chores.

Once they got to the age where they wanted money for things I would not normally buy them, they had the opportunity to earn extra funds by doing extra chores over and above their every day chores. Big things like clean out the fridge, wash walls, clean out closets, that type of thing, as well as smaller chores like vacuuming if they wanted to do it more frequently than usual and I deemed it necessary. I made up a spreadsheet which listed all household chores big or small and how much they would pay, for them to refer to when choosing what they wanted to do to earn money. This carried on till they left home.

The $20 a month ended when they got steady jobs.

I have never told them what to do with the money they earn. I have suggested things and given my opinion when I think they're spending unwisely, but it is their money and they earned it - it's disrespectful to dictate how they spend it. Parents should guide their children, not dictate to them.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

Chores are mandatory in our family and there is no reward beyond "thank you." I believe in teaching children to work as a team without a reward system in place. On occasion I'll allow my oldest to take over one of my responsibilities to earn a little extra money. On the flip side, if I have to take care of one of his responsibilities (forgetting to feed the hamster for example), I'll charge him .50 for my time.

My son is given $3 a week to teach him money management. I feel that $3 is fair because it's an amount that can be spent frivolously right away (candy, anyone?), but can also be saved to buy something cool in a month or two. He's free to spend his money however he wishes and I never even make suggestions. Allowing him to make his own mistakes has taught him far more about money management than words could have. My 9 year old now knows how to budget better than most adults! LOL He learned quickly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> Chores are mandatory in our family and there is no reward beyond "thank you." I believe in teaching children to work as a team without a reward system in place. On occasion I'll allow my oldest to take over one of my responsibilities to earn a little extra money. On the flip side, if I have to take care of one of his responsibilities (forgetting to feed the hamster for example), I'll charge him .50 for my time.
> 
> My son is given $3 a week to teach him money management. I feel that $3 is fair because it's an amount that can be spent frivolously right away (candy, anyone?), but can also be saved to buy something cool in a month or two. He's free to spend his money however he wishes and I never even make suggestions. Allowing him to make his own mistakes has taught him far more about money management than words could have. My 9 year old now knows how to budget better than most adults! LOL He learned quickly.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


All good. :smthumbup:


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

These are all good ideas. Beyond paying the kids for good grades we expect them to pick up after themselves. I have three teenagers tbey all have cell phones. If I see their crap on the floor I shut their phone down. When they cant call their friends they get the message.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

gonefishin said:


> I have three teenagers tbey all have cell phones. If I see their crap on the floor I shut their phone down. When they cant call their friends they get the message.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I will never understand this. You get them something like a phone that's a luxury and then they have to earn it on an ongoing basis, and it's held over their heads to make them act the way you want them to. If any adult were treated like that there'd be hell to pay for sure. Kids, especially teens, should be respected in their own right and not just as far as they conform to our idea of what's right. Leaving 'crap' on the floor, especially if it's in their own room, isn't a big deal. If you want them to pick up their stuff and it's in your way, toss it in their room, don't cut their phone off. Let their room be messy, who cares?


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

We just give the kids allowance. No chores required to earn it.
The purpose of their allowance is to teach them how to save up money for future needs, how to guard their money when going out, keep their money in a safe place at home, and how to count and spend money in a store. The concept of saving money for a future need is a very important lesson in life, as well as how to handle money.

By tying allowance to chores, you are teaching a very different thing: That you must work to earn money. I'm not saying this is a bad thing to teach a child, but it is not the same thing as spending / saving / budgeting. As you are experiencing, in the mind of a child this lesson will backfire on you. Many children are not motivated to earn money, so they will not be motivated to do their chores.

We also make the children pay for their own cell phone minutes out of their allowance. They must buy their own things except the necessities we buy them.


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## gonefishin (Oct 7, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> I will never understand this. You get them something like a phone that's a luxury and then they have to earn it on an ongoing basis, and it's held over their heads to make them act the way you want them to. If any adult were treated like that there'd be hell to pay for sure. Kids, especially teens, should be respected in their own right and not just as far as they conform to our idea of what's right. Leaving 'crap' on the floor, especially if it's in their own room, isn't a big deal. If you want them to pick up their stuff and it's in your way, toss it in their room, don't cut their phone off. Let their room be messy, who cares?


Not at all. I do not hold it over there heads. They signed a contract when I purchused the phones. The contract states that they can not leave their clothing on the bathroom floor, they must keep their rooms picked up. Real simple stuff. We do not ask our kids to do much. But do ask them to pick up after themselves. I think in two years I had to shut the phones down twice.
As adults we all go into contracts. When you get your license, if you do not obey the rules, you get tickets and sometimes you loose your license.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

When my son was 5 I started giving him a weekly allowance. I got $1 a week for each year of his age. He was born in 1989 so the allowance started in 1994. If you want to give more then you could increase it to say $1.50 or $2 pre year. This was money he got for just being part of the family.

At that point I did not buy him anything other than the essentials, b-day & xmas presents. He had to use his own allowance to get things he wanted.

This way he was able to look forward to a "raise" on his birthday every year.

He had a base set of chores. Over those he was able to earn a bit of extra money by doing extra chores. The pay for each extra chore was dependent on the chore.

For the first few months, each week on 'pay day' he asked to go to the store and spent his money... it's was usually walmart or the dollar store because $5 does not go very far.

Then one day we were in Walmart and he wanted an expensive Power Ranger figure.. it was about $30... The covited White Ranger. He said "Mom the good things are expensive. I'll save till I can buy this."

and he did. He saved up the $30 and got his White Ranger. Since that day he saved his allowance to buy the big things. I was very pleased to watch a 5 year old realize that just blowing money as soon as you get it does not make sense.

He also would ask for extra chores to do so he could earn extra money. The could not work an etra chore until he did his base chores.

He bought his own first nintendo in 1st grade. But he decided to buy a used one because it cost less. He bought used games for the same reason. When he bought that used Nintendo you'd of thought it was a brand new gold plated one. He was so proud of himself. 

To this day he's very frugal. He's 22 now. A college student. He seldom blows any money.. saves a lot.


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## ShawnS (Jan 24, 2012)

We never gave our elementary aged kids an allowance that was a time of teaching them chores and how to help around the house. Plus it was great fun they love to be able to "do" things to help. 

As they got older certain chores were assigned because they were part of the family and the floors had to be vacumned, the toilet cleaned, etc. and they had to keep their room cleaned. If they wanted to earn money there were things they could do. It was never manditory and if they had to be told to do a better job they didn't get paid. 

At age 14 they had to get a summer job. We had friends who owned a beach campground and they had kids come to work racking, cleaning, etc. I believe bored kids are kids that will get in trouble. One of our boys worked there year around for a couple of years, our daughter started keeping the reservations and books until she was 17. 

But that doesn't answer your question. I think a 5 & 7 yrs old are young to get money for helping mommy & daddy. Make it fun and a quarter here or there won't hurt them. But raising entitled children is a problem.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Hicks said:


> We just give the kids allowance. No chores required to earn it.
> The purpose of their allowance is to teach them how to save up money for future needs, how to guard their money when going out, keep their money in a safe place at home, and how to count and spend money in a store. The concept of saving money for a future need is a very important lesson in life, as well as how to handle money.
> 
> By tying allowance to chores, you are teaching a very different thing: That you must work to earn money. I'm not saying this is a bad thing to teach a child, but it is not the same thing as spending / saving / budgeting. As you are experiencing, in the mind of a child this lesson will backfire on you. Many children are not motivated to earn money, so they will not be motivated to do their chores.


This is a good take on it. Thanks. I think you are absolutely correct.

I also think its important for kids eventually to take on some responsibility on the house - at least over their own little sphere of chaos... but I do see your point.

also ShawnS - yep, agree there too. The little ones invariably insist on 'helpng' in whatever I/we are doing - it makes for volumes of craziness. The young one just will not leave me alone when I am cooking... its pretty funny, and fun. Picky eater but looooves to 'cook'. I also agree that they should not come to expect to be paid for helping out on the basics.

man - its all very complicated. Such a little thing too.

Suddenly - Im leaning towards just a few bucks a week so they can learn money and keep the chores a seperate issue altogether. I'll see what the missus says.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> When my son was 5 I started giving him a weekly allowance. I got $1 a week for each year of his age. He was born in 1989 so the allowance started in 1994. If you want to give more then you could increase it to say $1.50 or $2 pre year. This was money he got for just being part of the family.
> 
> At that point I did not buy him anything other than the essentials, b-day & xmas presents. He had to use his own allowance to get things he wanted.
> 
> ...


Well done! good story.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I don't have children but I'm all for teaching your children how to save. I received pocket money from a young age (around 5). It was a small amount. I don't think there were chores involved at that young age. I had a cool money box that had a dial "secret code" to get into it (I was 5 - it was probably just choosing one number to unlock it but it seemed cool to me). Inside were clear tubes marked for the different coin denominations. The coins could be slotted in through the top, then opened to see the coins stacking up. 

I do remember "saving" and buying a 45" single. I didn't used to go out and spend on candy, I used to like seeing the coin build up lol. I think I was 7 when my mom needed some money to pay for milk, she didn't have any handy. She borrowed from me. I then made her sign a note to say she'd pay me back. What a cheeky monster. But as an adult I know how to save and budget. And have taught my husband how to budget too now


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

heartsbeating said:


> ...I do remember "saving" and buying a 45" single...


Whats funny is, I remember buying 45's 40 years ago for (I think) it was 99 cents.

Today on iTunes? same price.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

^ ha! .....although 45's sound better!


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

We were never allowed to have cell phones, until we could pay for them ourselves with our part time jobs. I am speaking of myself and my three siblings.

My parents never gave allowance because they did not feel that children should be paid for chores. It was our duty. 

If I asked my mother for allowance, she would put food on my plate at dinner and say "There's your allowance. If you ask me again, I'm gonna smack you with this spoon." :rofl:

While my upbringing was abusive and militant, being raised like an inmate certainly instilled work ethic and no sense of entitlement whatsoever.


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## FourtyPlus (Dec 18, 2011)

There is no allowance given to our 14 year old daughter. She can earn money by mowing the lawn, washing our cars, doing other chores around the house. Last summer we even hooked her up with some of our clients who needed lawn service. Hubby would drive her there and she'd get to work. We buy all the things she needs, whatever she wants extra, she has to work for it. That's life and life isn't going to make an exception for her, therefore I'm against giving her money just like that.


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