# does a break work



## haveingahartime (Jul 9, 2012)

me and my wife both have allot going on right now and have been fighting allot.. so we decided to take a brake. we talked about it for a while befor we did this.. she said she didnt want to talk for a lil while.. just so we could both clear our heads.. im not takeing it so well i cant eat i cant sleep.. shes all i can think about i dont want to lose her.. but with things that were said i think thats whats going to happen.. i dont think its good for us not to talk at all.. its makeing it allot hareder on me is this normal not to talk for a lil while when on a break.. :scratchhead: i just dont know what to do


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I don't understand what a break is when you're married. Are you separated and living elsewhere?

How about therapy instead of a break? If you're arguing, maybe a professional can help you speak to each other and really communicate instead of just fighting.


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## haveingahartime (Jul 9, 2012)

i wanted to see someone she did'nt we both have allot going on right her with work and me with family stuff she said she me as a person she just didnt know if she loved us as a couple anymore and wanted some time to clea her head.. i just dont know i really dont want to lose her


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

haveingahartime said:


> i wanted to see someone she did'nt we both have allot going on right her with work and me with family stuff she said she me as a person she just didnt know if she loved us as a couple anymore and wanted some time to clea her head.. i just dont know i really dont want to lose her


She's "all you can think of", but you started dating someone else? How old have you been "on a break"? And does your wife know?

I would say that the odds of a break fixing things goes down astronomically when one (or both) people are seeing someone else. The only person you should be seeing is a counsellor, and you should be working out you might need to change to make your marriage work.

C


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

PBear said:


> She's "all you can think of", but you started dating someone else? How old have you been "on a break"? And does your wife know?
> 
> I would say that the odds of a break fixing things goes down astronomically when one (or both) people are seeing someone else. The only person you should be seeing is a counsellor, and you should be working out you might need to change to make your marriage work.
> 
> C




I think he was replying to my suggestion to see an MC. He wanted to see an MC, but his wife didn't.

haveingahartime, I'm sure a poster will come along who will tell you all about "doing a 180" in order to begin dealing with the breakdown in your relationship. 

My advice would be to give yourself some space to think about what you and your wife are fighting about so much, and how you got to this point. I'd also recommend continuing to suggest marriage counseling. Start going by yourself even if she won't go with you. It might help you see things more clearly.


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## bluelaser (May 26, 2012)

PBear said:


> She's "all you can think of", but you started dating someone else? How old have you been "on a break"? And does your wife know?


PBear you have misread his statement.  He is obviously still hung up over her.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

norajane said:


> I think he was replying to my suggestion to see an MC. He wanted to see an MC, but his wife didn't.
> 
> haveingahartime, I'm sure a poster will come along who will tell you all about "doing a 180" in order to begin dealing with the breakdown in your relationship.
> 
> My advice would be to give yourself some space to think about what you and your wife are fighting about so much, and how you got to this point. I'd also recommend continuing to suggest marriage counseling. Start going by yourself even if she won't go with you. It might help you see things more clearly.


That would make more sense. My apologies to the OP. 

C


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