# Husband is not attracted to me sexually or physically anymore.



## Tx_Wifey (Aug 26, 2019)

I'm 38 and my husband is 37. We've been together 2 yrs married 1. Of those 2 years he spent 1 yr in jail (2 occasions) and myself 6 months. We were both incarcerated at the same time. He was released a month before me. I gained some weight maybe 20 lbs while inside. After I got released, sex was good. We were both clean and sober. It was regular and satisfying. Couple months pass by and we relapse to substance abuse. He also gets a phone. He uses wifi only. He has a porn issue borderline addiction. We fight regularly cause I want to be intimate and he doesn't. He says it's my nagging. But we had ni issues before. When we were sober he'd say he could perform longer in the past cause of drugs. I wasn't complaining, we were actually laughing cause we would finish in 5 mins or less. Finally broke him down and he revealed he doesn't find me physically or sexually attractive anymore because of my weight gain. I feel horrible. My feelings are hurt. Idk what to do..


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

I'm really sorry for your hurt feelings, I understand why, but you are believing a lie.

20 lbs is not going to change anything. What has changed is HIM. 

He is in denial of the truth. His desire has gone away due to his porn and drug use, and he is blaming you for it. Very selfish....one of the root causes of addiction, selfishness, and one of the prime "maintainers" of addiction is denial.

Your "nagging" won't help. He wants to continue porn and drugs. His justification that he "lasts longer" may be reality, dulling sensory responses can bring this about.

He is making observations and assigning causes without professional help.



Tx_Wifey said:


> Idk what to do..


Leave. Tell him that UNTIL he gets clean of porn and drugs, that you want nothing to do with him. That you want to build your lives together, having a satisfactory sex life, and to have a family together with him, and when he is clean, you will begin again to have it.

Get clean of your own drug use, too.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I agree with TJW. 

It's him and not you.


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## Girl_power (Aug 11, 2018)

What’s the point of being with someone if they make you feel bad about yourself. 
I’m sorry he said that to you. I think I would feel differently about him if I were you.


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