# men, have body questions



## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

I will keep this short. I have been married for over a lot of years, have lots of kids. We have had a rough, marriage. I have been through just about everything with him, but...the sex has always been good and I would do it every night if that is what he wanted. I know a lot of men are into the superficial like how big the woman is, etc. So my question is are stretch marks from pregnancies, surgery scars, and sagging small breasts a turn off? My H says no, but I have caught him in too many lies to believe him. It makes me insecure, but there is nothing I can do about it and don't feel implants or scar removal is an option, so wanted to know truth about what some of you think. thanks


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

I been with my wife for 19 years, married 12 of them.

We have three children.

She has stretchmarks on her hips and also a scare on her belly button from a Bellyring piercing that went bad.

Her stretch marks and scars do not bother me at all, not even in the slightest bit. Really I don't even notice them anymore.

It is part of my wife and children whom she gave birth too, we affectionately call them "war wounds" She cares about them, I don't even notice them.

I want her to wear a bikini in the summer time, she won't due to the scares. But you see I think she has a hot smoking body.

Confidence young lady that is the key.

I rather look at my wife's face anyway, it's her smile towards me that is the biggest attraction.

be happy your hubby loves you for who you are....forget about the stretch marks...he'd rather please you and feel your soul then anything else in this world.


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## TGolbus (Nov 3, 2008)

confidence is so sexy.......it is more of an attitude.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

been through it all 2008 said:


> So my question is are stretch marks from pregnancies, surgery scars, and sagging small breasts a turn off? My H says no, but I have caught him in too many lies to believe him. It makes me insecure, but there is nothing I can do about it and don't feel implants or scar removal is an option, so wanted to know truth about what some of you think. thanks


For me enthusiasm is the most erotic thing. You sound like you have buckets of it 

Some questions:

How often do you have sex now? 
Who initiates? 
How old is he?
Does he masturbate?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

While men are visual and many times are caught looking at eye candy it does not mean he does not desire you or view you as sexy.  We all age, we all get a little flabbier, things don’t stay the same for any of us physically. Just because you’ve aged and carry some of the badges of pregnancy doesn’t make you any less beautiful in the eyes of a man that loves you.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

My wife had 3 c-sections and had to have an open gall bladder removal surgery.

So she has about a 10-12 inch scar from jus under her right breast all the way just past her sternum along with her lower belly c-section scar.

Her stomach is also very full of stretch marks from our first son (he was BIG). 

They all bother her, but to be 100% honest they don't bother me at all. How in the WORLD could I let them bother me when they were the reason for my 3 beautiful boys. Even the gall bladder was brought on from the last child (her gall bladder started shooting out stones while she was pregnant).

So no, assuming your husband loves you and your kids, he's not lying, I look at them as "battle scars" also, she went into "battle" for our family and came out with those. I actually will gently rub them at times to let her know they don't bother me at all.

Just like the poster above, she has a smoking body but won't wear a bikini due to her gall bladder scar. She would wear one if she just had the c-section since they were 'bikini cuts', but the gall bladder one she is really self conscience about.


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## onlylonelyone (Jan 26, 2009)

Wow, we (women) don't give you guys enough credit. I can say those things really, really bother us. It is really sweet and comforting you think nothing of it. I believe it is in China or Japan where a woman is more attractive society wise the more stretch marks she has....weird huh???


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

TGolbus said:


> confidence is so sexy.......it is more of an attitude.


I agree, my wife has had so many surgeries but really I don't notice. She turns me on more than anyone else. If he loves you and is attracted to you don't over anilyse(sp) it.

draconis


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

onlylonelyone said:


> Wow, we (women) don't give you guys enough credit. I can say those things really, really bother us. It is really sweet and comforting you think nothing of it.


Men (in general) have their own insecurities about weight, looks and endowments. It’s a two way street in a relationship. We can be just as fragile as anyone.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Wow I would be screwed in CHINA. But seriously EVERYONE man and women have problems with something on there body. I am sure you are perfect to him! if he didnt want you he wouldnt be with you right! 

Just remember that everyone has issues. and we are more critical on ourselves then anyone is.


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## Dancing Nancie (Jul 1, 2008)

My wife has had one C-section, and one natural birth. I will say that neither bother me one bit. Those things she went through for us to have our children make her MORE endearing and attractive to me. What I don't like is that she isn't comfortable with herself. Self confidence is what most men like and are attracted too.


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

To answer the questions:
We have sex every night when we are getting along
We both initiate, but I think I do more
He is 40
and I don't know if he masterbates I don't think so, but I don't know absolutely.
I guess a lot of my insecurities come from our past. I've been through finding porn on computer, porn magazines, I've almost gotten divorced because of it. It is a sick, sinful addiction and has no place in a healthy marriage. I have a block on the computer for the porn and like sites, then he starts to look at breast augmentation sites and that made me feel just as bad. Then to play it off he says a wife of his friend had it done and then told me the cost. So I'm thinking Is he serious, or was he just looking to look. When i ask him now, he says he wouldn't want me to get surgery, but like I said he is a compulsive liar and I don't believe him, otherwise why would he look it up? he is a very selfish man, he has all kinds of entertainment toys whether trucks, cars, boat, 4wheelers, snowmobiles, old cars, expensive tools, etc. these aren't bad in themselves, but when they are on high interest credit cards and all the payments for his things eat up everything and the kids lack the things they need, not to mention food (they aren't starving, but there is never enough for everything we need), it is very frustrating. anyway, that is some of the background, I would appreciate anymore feedback thanks


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

hmmmm that was an interesting turn of events....

I look at porn on the PC and home TV, Matter of fact my wife got me a 5 year Subscription to playboy for christmas, this has not affected our marriage one slightest bit, The women in the magaize are models and airbrushed. The women in the porn are professionals and people forget that these movies are cut and edited. You just can't compare yourself to them.

My favorite site is free project voyuer (sp?) why? because it is average couples posting pics of there wives on there, you get a real look at NORMAL people, the best part opeople will often give positive commets on the forums of the women, 

My wife has thought of a breast lift, she is 38 and her breasts are 34C, they look fantastic, and she was thinking of getting a "mommy makeover" where they lift the breasts and tummy tuck. I am against it right now, becuase I think she can lose her stomach with diet and exercise and her breasts are perfect as they are. Men can't believe they are natural. but if she wants later in life she can, it's her decision.

Now sounds like you have bigger issues at hand...sounds like some serious financial crissi or jealous of the toys your husband has and the lack of toys for yourself. unless you just stress out about money issues?

Sounds like you have a great sex life, but something is bothering you? would you want a "mommy makeover" ? 

Not sure but sounds like you ahve some resentment about your husband spending habits, what would you like him to do?

I have a good friend that is wealthy and has all kinds of toys, then another friend who wants to be like him, so he buys the same toys, yet he is not wealthy, so he is in big time debt and has 4 kids....future will get ugly.

Sometimes guys are to competitive with their friends and that can spell disaster if they can hold back and only spend in their limits.

So is money the real issue at hand?


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

Ya know, a lot of our problems are money issues, although I'm not jealous of the toys, just stressed. There are so many needs our family has, but he always comes before anyone else. I can understand if it were just him and I. However, it's not and the way he is affects all of us. It's hard to explain without going into a lot of detail, because I don't want anyone to know I am on here. 
I do appreciate your feedback G. Before I decided to actually talk on here, I read a lot of what different people had to say and it seemed to help just to read other stories. However, I don't agree with you about porn. There are many reasons behind it. The main one being, it is sin and the Bible speaks against it. Even if someone isn't concerned about what the Bible says, there are other things. If you look at statistics of child molesting, rape, etc. the majority of the time porn is involved. What goes into the mind, eventually comes out. 
Also, the times that my H has been involved with it, he didn't need me(sexually) and would reject me. Also,his attitude was one of bitter and hate. I couldn't say anything to him that he didn't jump down my throat. It does make a difference in behavior and it does affect womens lives in more ways than one. Not to mention the women who are acting and posing. It is degrading to all women.
Anyway, yes we have lots of issues, but hopefully they will work out. 
thanks for input and feedback anyone


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

AMP'S RANT

I will get up on my soap box again and point out that we have seen many come here hurt because of a spouse’s use of porn. I used porn briefly as a “release” a couple of years ago and it definitely hurt my marriage. There where other issues also but the porn had an impact. For those of you out there who are engaged in using pornography, think about what it could have on your spouse’s feelings. If they have self confidence issues about their looks, weight or sexual abilities, finding out will exacerbate them. It could leave them feeling unloved and undesired. Especially if the porn has replaced much of the couples’ sexual intimacy. Your spouse may also wonder what you are bringing to the bed with you when you are making love. Who or what you may have seen on line that you are thinking about when you make love to them. Put yourself in their place and how you’d feel if they did the same to you. I don’t know if I can classify the use of porn as “cheating” but it can definitely hurt your spouse and that is wrong in any form. If both spouses are OK with it or share it together, that’s fine. Consenting adults and all and I have no problem with that from a marriage standpoint. But I do have a problem with it from a moral and social standpoint. I am not a prude or holy-roller by any stretch but I do believe that making love is supposed to be between two loving people in a committed relationship. Not something to be filmed for the almighty dollar and the entertainment of others. Porn hurts lots of people. The young man or woman at a college party that gets drunk and does something stupid while some perv videos it and sells it online for a hundred bucks. It will no doubt be an act they will regret for the rest of their lives. The porn industry uses people then tosses them aside like a used condom when they have served their purposes. There are very few Jenna Jamison stories of wealth and celebrity status. Not to mention the many who leave the “business” diseased, addicted and broken. It pollutes the minds of our young people and desensitizes them to what making love is all about. It sets unobtainable expectations for them in choosing a mate and partner. It exposes them to acts of violence, incest and rape and presents it as “normal” with selections like menu items at a diner. Point and click for your selected debauchery. It is a pollutant in our moral fiber and it is available 24X7 on virtually every device connected to the Internet. Some on this forum disagree with me that it isn’t just a trivial “release” for someone to engage in. That’s fine, we are all entitled to our opinions, but have seen many on this forum who have suffered from it. Lost their marriage, their love, their money, their trust, their self esteem, their job… OK, I’m done.


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

AMP-
Thanks for the rant-I thought I would get railed on for what I wrote!


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

BTIA2008, why would we rail you? come dear your here for help and advice from different prospectives, not all of us agree, nor should we, that is the beautiful about our country, you can express yourself without worrying if something going to happen to you. Freedom of expression is a wonderful thing.

As for Amp's rant, that's his thing and his point of view, I respect it, as I hope he respects mine. While I disagree, I will listen and respect his opinion. As I hope he does with mine.

None of us are correct, this is not a exact sience, this is human life and the variables that come with it. It is like a Picaso or a Rembrandt painting, multiple colors and designs to make somethiing unique and priceless to the human eye.

That is what we are...my wife is my Picaso painting, the way she is, the way we interact, they way our lives intertwine and how it evolves is a wonderful and complicated painting that only a true artist can understand. While to some people they may not like the "artwork" I enjoy the painting that is my wife, she is priceless to me. She is my Picaso.

I imagine you are your Picaso or Rembrandt for your husband, wile you may see a tiny part of the "painting" and see it as "ugly" if you step back and look at the whole thing, you will see a priceless masterpiece that only your husband can understand, you are his Rembrandt.

There is no perfect answer to life or how we are supposed to live it. That is what makes us all so unique and different.

Material things are just that, material things and you need to discuss those issues with your husband.

If you feel self concious about your body then do something about it for yourself, not your husband. But you must include him on your decision. Then work towards it.

Ultimately the decision is up to you and your hubby, it's your gallery.

But don't look for excuses or something to blame, that never works, the issues are deeper and you need to settle them, until you both lay it all out on the table how you both really feel, well then you will always feel this way.

Best of luck, we all are pulling for you to be happy


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

been through it all 2008 said:


> AMP-
> Thanks for the rant-I thought I would get railed on for what I wrote!


Thanks BTIA2008

I have had a couple of cyber eggs lobbed my way over that rant. I’ve posted it or variations of it several times. It is my belief and most respect it as just that, my belief. 

Yes GA, I respect your opinion as you do mine, thanks. If everyone had the same opinions life would be dull and predictable. 

You are correct it is only my opinion but within that post lays one indelible fact. My use of porn hurt my wife and I will always regret that.


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

I don't have a lot of time to comment on everything right now, but do have a question for ya G. First off I didn't even know about this site until my H and I were going through a spot about 4 months ago and just typed something about marriage in the add. bar. This is one of the links that came up. My question is; if your wife is your art piece, and she is ok with all the porn, and everything is wonderful, why are you here? Im not saying that in a mean way, I just don't understand why you are here and how it came to be if everything is fine in your marriage?


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

BTIA, I'm sure others will tell you as well -- while a lot of people here have problems, some do not and are willing to try to help others. Even those with problems have learned enough to be helpful, too.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Amp, thanks, and what you have gone through and what you have realized has made you a stronger, wiser and better man, I applaud you. As the saying goes, "sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven"

DCRIM, have you ever been in a Scana energy commercial dancing with a cute blonde? The guy looks just like you. Seriously

Mommy22, great advice and imput, your right women do put more pressure on them selves then men will ever put on a woman and her looks. I admit I am a boob man always have been, but when I met my wife, it was her face particularly her smile and her eyes that roped me in  everything else was just a bonus  I can't tell you why? it's just the way Love smacked me upside the head. 

and for you BTIA2008, I am on here becuase I am at work, I am a social person and high energy, I get bored rather easily. So while at work doing my job, I trry and give a little advice on here. Is my marriage perfect? nope, no ones is. 

Does my wife do things that drive me nuts? yep, Do I do things that drive her nuts? yep.

But we learned to live within our means we talk we work things out and we keep the romance alive.


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

I just want to thank everyone who gave feed back. Sometimes it helps just to let some of what is going on with me out, and hear input. I I liked what you said mommy 22 about leaving me out of the equation when it comes to H looking at other "things". I have to agree I am my worst critic. I too am thin, but haven't always been and never too thin. I guess I'm attractive, my H tells me and gets a bit jealous if guys look or whatever, but then again I have my clothes on! lol!
G-I don't want any hard feelings. I just thought I would ask how it came to be that those with good marriages are on here. I guess I think of men with high energy,good marriages and who are bored, more into online games, or something. But it's nice that you use your time to help others. Can I ask what your job is that you are on a computer, bored, at 2:30 am?
dcrim-I feel your saying about it not being illegal unless you're caught is terrible. Being a victim of sexual child abuse and the man who did it never being caught, it was still illegal, still wrong and still sin. I can think of many more examples too that are wrong and illegal whether the person is caught or not!
I also want to say whether it is porn, cheating, sexual abuse, etc. one day we will all have to stand before God. That isn't my opinion, that is fact, and I think if you are true to yourself, your conscience tells you as much.
Thanks again everyone!


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

BTIA, my tag line was meant to be humorous; I've used it a lot over the years but I can understand your point.

GAman, nope, never been in front of a camera.


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## Chopblock (Mar 21, 2008)

Mark and I think very similar on this subject.

I believe that its the love and desire for a person that makes them most beautiful. I just wish my gf believed me, because her self-image issues are really causing problems.

When a man really loves a woman, and is passionate about her, and she keeps pushing him away due to her own insecurities, there are going to be problems. Men are persistent but also know when something is not worth the effort. I've heard too many separations that could have been prevented had she just been less critical of herself and loved her body the way he did.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

BTIA2008, well I work for a verl Large Telecom company, I do the network surviellence, basically I monitor the whole country to make sure everything is going "OK" if not I fix it. So we can talk, and play on the internet. :smthumbup: I have multiple monitors so I can type and watch things constantly, and work. I am a Multitasker if you ever saw one. 

I am working nights right now becuase I am coaching my children's sport teams as well, I coach my daughters soccer team, and my 2 son's baseball teams. I am also the HSA president and I ran our HS 20 year reunion from another state. We also have Girl scouts at our house, every monday, Church class on Wed, and I am currently remodeling our basement, well finishing it off. So as you can see, I am going a 1000 MPH at all times.

For Valentines day, my wife is working gets off at 6PM, I am making her a dinner, gifts from teh children and a nice warm bubble bath with rose peddles for her enjoyment. Plus mood music baby...


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

G-In some ways you sound like the "ideal" husband. soccer games, baseball games, and WOW! What a wonderful way to treat your wife. It sounds perfect! It's a good thing you have high energy. so when do you sleep? I would say more men should be like you, but I can't knowing your views on pornography. I have also read on one of these posts somewhere that you saw something on porn(you saw), it went into the mind(you think), the next thing ya know you are asking your wife to do it(you act), and she does. It doesn't say what the thing was that I can remember, but if it's not natural and you saw it on porn, I am totally against it. Therefore you miss the mark. I am curious, how would feel if your daughter came to you and said she was going be the next porn star? Knowing what you know about porn, the thoughts, the actions, etc. would you want men looking at your daughter naked? 
I do think it's great you are involved with your family so much! In that aspect men could learn from you!


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

BTIA, I feel compelled to reply. MY DAUGHTER *IS* IN THE BUSINESS! How do I feel? Somewhat less than wonderful. But it's HER life to live and I love her. 

If you won't try something that was seen in a video, then you automatically limit your experiences for joy. There are many ways the body can enjoy sex. Not everything is to everyone else's tastes but to shut off ideas just because of their source seems very limiting.


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

dcrim-please read what I wrote on a different post to someone that had a porn question and what's wrong with it. Might have been general relationship post. I don't feel like typing all of that again, but you will see more of how I feel and why. I am sorry your daughter is into it. In my opinion that is really sad. 
Oh please, don't get me wrong, my husband and I do a variety of different things and they are very pleasurable. In fact I have had up 4 orgasms in one lovemaking session. Different positions, different techniques,etc. What I am referring to is sodomy, which the Bible is against that also, and can cause medical damage. I am also against whole fists inserted anally or vaginally. Please understand I am all for total pleasure, different things to spice it up, but not into the unnatural, or what some pervert came up with in his brain to shock the porn world.


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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

I read everything on this forum! 

The bible is WRONG, girl. 

There's nothing wrong with "sodomy". I've done it, and been on the receiving end. 

YOU need to expand YOUR horizons. Learn to enjoy life!


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## wantingpeace (Jan 14, 2009)

dcrim said:


> I read everything on this forum!
> 
> The bible is WRONG, girl.


How do you know for sure? What if, just what if, you're wrong? Does that possibility not frighten you in the least? What if there is life after death? Human logic certainly is fallible. How are you so certain your own logic isn't fallible?
I'm sorry. When I see blanket statements such as this, I have to ask (with all due respect). In my mind, I'd rather take the chance of being wrong in my beliefs. The worst that could happen, is there is no heaven or hell. But what happens if you're wrong?


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

dcrim-I am sorry to read what you wrote, for your sake, not mine. Let me share a couple of verses from the King James Bible.
Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and *****mongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Luke 13:3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
Luke 13:5 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
Yes, these last 2 verses say exactly the same thing, but that's how important it is, The Bible warns us if we don't turn from our way of thinking about sin we will perish. Perish here means eternal separation from God.
John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: NO MAN cometh unto the Father, but by me.
I don't need to do things wickedly perverted to be completely and fully satisfied sexually. I hope you will see the truth, before it is eternally too late.


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

Ps, they keep blocking the word-hore with a w, but that's the word in case anyone wanted to know


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## HisSummerRose (Dec 10, 2008)




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## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

Ok... I retract my statement about the bible. I didn't mean to start a religious debate which cannot be "won".


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

I guess I'm the only Christian who believes that when the Bible is talkinga bout "sodomy" its talking about homosexual sodomy, since the city of Sodom (what it was named after) was known for its homosexual "tendencies".

I have yet to find a Bible verse that says that anal sex with your wife is wrong. I see plenty of verses that talk about completely enjoying your spouse in the bedroom.

Do you have to be smart about it cleanliness wise/hygiene etc? Of course.


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## Chopblock (Mar 21, 2008)

---Please understand I am all for total pleasure, different things to spice it up, but not into the unnatural, or what some pervert came up with in his brain to shock the porn world.---

You can draw that line for yourself, but not for others. There are plenty of people out there who have no problem with things you hate, and aren't going to have any patience for a lecture.

To tell G that he sounds like a wonderful husband "except for..." is like someone telling you that you sound like a great wife, except for being a bible freak.

---I have to agree I am my worst critic.---

This really is the root of the problem, and its related to what I said above. Just because YOU feel a certain way about something, does not mean that should be absolute. You being your own worst critic is fine IF you use that energy to improve something.

If, however, you are the type to always criticize yourself but never DO anything about it, then you are really just hurting those around you, as WELL as yourself. My gf, for a while would pout and moan about being unattractive, but never DO anything. She did not realize (or did not care) that it was hurting ME, and US.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

wow alot has gone on since I last was on here...I was off for the weekend and spent the time with the family.

Am I the perfect dad and husband? not if you ask my children.. LOL you making them pick up after themselves and do chores, demotes me. LOL You see I grew up without a father, he died when I was 1 year old, I never got to know my father, that emptiness I still feel today. I learned not to be selfish, I am giving to a fault. If you were my neighbor and you had a problem, any problem, I would be the first one to help you, even if you hated my guts. I can only offer myself, you take what I can give, or you can just let it go, it doesn't bother me at all.

OK where to go with this... BTIA you can feel for me as you wish it will not change anything. I can assure you my wife has done nothing she is not comfortable with. 

As for porn, sure there are some really disgusting things out there, and why people like it? I have no idea, that is there issue. I imagine the thing you are thinking about was the video my wife made for me, it was nothing major int he world of "wow" but for my wife it was...it was out of her comfort zone.

As for your religious beleifs, that is fine, if you wish to discuss them there is a religious section on here. Feel free to discuss it with others and have a healthy debate. 

You came on here becuase you had low self esteem about your body and your stretch marks, we have tried to help you and give you advice to help you see that you are a beautiful woman to your husband.

I really think you need to really self examine yourself and your thought process of you and your family, particualry your relationship with your husband.

but again, I really you are looking for something to blame, and you chose to blame porn, becuase you have been lead to believe porn is the problem. I ask you, if your husband stopped looking at porn today and never viewed it again, do you think you both would be happy and go skipping down the trail in enternal bliss? think about it, there is more to it, and your answer is not in a book, it is the guy you live with.

Trust, communication, openess....Drac can list more, read some of his advice. Read some of the articles posted in the article section.

I wish you luck, porn may be a sympton, but not the disease.


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## humpty dumpty (Nov 26, 2008)

I wish you luck, porn may be a sympton, but not the disease.[/QUOTE]

:iagree:


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## been through it all 2008 (Feb 9, 2009)

RH-I agree sodomy is talking about homosexuals. But why? It's because of how they have sex with each other. Also, when I have had a large bowel movement it feels anything, but pleasurable. My husband is a lot bigger than a bowel movement also, so I can't imagine it would feel good at all. Not to mention the damage it can do-look it up. and please don't tell me if you stick a very large cucumber up yourself anally it would feel pleasurable. Did your wife actually say she is pleased with anal sex?
chop-I can see what you are saying. What I said is my views though. If someone was a drug addict talking about his marriage I would say he misses the mark, or a drunk or whatever. ya know what though? I miss the mark! If you see what I was trying to say is that GA is a great guy, has good qualities, but yet there is that thing in which In my opinion find him not perfect! NO ONE is perfect, I am first in line. I guess though I would rather be known as a Bible freak when I stand before God, than a porn freak. It's not that it is only my views, it is wrong and has caused more damage to all of America. Do research, look at the damage, just like when alcohol was illegal, there was reason for it and since the legalization of it there has been more crime, more divorce rates, more violence, etc. because of the damage it can cause. you can't tell me pornography(it being a sin aside) that it hasn't caused an increase in divorce, crime, molestation, etc. Do research on that too, please! As far as the other I will take a look at your criticism towards me, you are probably right.
GA-you are right in some ways, about my low self esteem etc. and I didn't realize I HAD to go to a seperate forum to express the way I feel. I should be able to express how I feel anywhere, especially where I first asked a question. I am not blaming porn. I don't think my husband looks anymore. I am blaming the people who feed into the industry. It is very profitable and for who? The greedy and most perverted. Like I said above, it causes a lot of damage, ruins families and marriages, causes more crime etc. yes, it is sin and I am strongly against it, but that aside, look at what it does to the brain, the family, America, etc. The consequences are grave and if I can speak my heart about to convince anyone to see the damage in it, then maybe lives can be changed. It's not about just a religious debate! As for your advice also, I will take a look at your criticism and I'm sure there is room for improvement, there always is!
Thanks everyone! The truth sometimes hurts, but I would rather hear the truth then be told what I wanted to hear all the time and have it be lies!


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

BTIA...I have a question for you, you seem deeply religious. Have you ever done any extensive traveling? not even of the world but of our country? Have you ever taken the time to study other religions or Cultures?

I know there are many religious people on this board and I applaud them for their values and beliefs. Some of our best posters are deeply religious and I really respect their opinions.

They are willing to accept people and ask questions to have a better understanding.

You see the world was not colored with one paint with one brush.

the thing that makes america exciting and the world exciting is the different "flavors" of societies and cultures.

We have had some great debates and some really solid discussions. Void, Mommy, lj, Drac, jt, MT, all great debaters and discussion people with alot of solid advice for many people in many different circumstances.

Someday I hope you can travel the world somewhat, not on a missionary mission, but just to experience the wonderful cultures the world has to offer.

I hope someday you can accept your husband for who he is, and you can accept yourself for who you really are. I hope you can be happy, and not worry about what anyone else thinks.


Best of luck.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

been through it all 2008 said:


> RH-I agree sodomy is talking about homosexuals. But why? It's because of how they have sex with each other. Also, when I have had a large bowel movement it feels anything, but pleasurable. My husband is a lot bigger than a bowel movement also, so I can't imagine it would feel good at all. Not to mention the damage it can do-look it up. and please don't tell me if you stick a very large cucumber up yourself anally it would feel pleasurable. Did your wife actually say she is pleased with anal sex?


1. You should do some research on how to do anal sex "properly", its not just sticking a raw/dry "cucumber" up your clinched anus. There are steps to relax the anus and the proper lubrication is needed.

2. I've said above, I could care less about anal sex, I like vaginal sex MUCH better, but my WIFE is the one who likes it and there have been times when I have gone to start in the vagina and SHE is the one that moves it to the other spot, not me. The ONLY time I'm "into" anal sex is during "aunt flow" and she's horny, then its a way to still make love and avoid the flow.

You act like anal sex is just some violent way of raming something up there. If that is done SURE there can be some major damage, but good Lord you would have to be a moron to do that.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

I wouldnt think that would feel good AT ALL ugh really I dont know bout that!


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

sunflower said:


> I wouldnt think that would feel good AT ALL ugh really I dont know bout that!


Not being a woman I have no way of saying "yeah its good, you should try it, but make sure you do this..."

All I know is what she likes/does. She likes it that way sometimes and you have to let the woman control the motion/depth/etc during anal and go SLOW. That's all I know from what she wants/says/does.

No woman would like anal if the guy is pushing for it and almost immediately gets "rough", that, in my opinion, HAS to hurt.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

How'd we get from body image to butt sex?


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Deejo said:


> How'd we get from body image to butt sex?


And with a biblical debate in the middle.


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## revitalizedhusband (Feb 9, 2009)

Deejo said:


> How'd we get from body image to butt sex?


What's better than biblical butt sex?

Sorry, I had to throw that in there.

Lets get this back on topic


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## Junebug (Dec 7, 2008)

Oh man, you guys crack me up.


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## LukaB (Feb 25, 2009)

yes I had it too.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

mommy22 said:


> Well, let's see. The women are worried about their bodies. The men are interested in discussing sex. ... And naturally, there had to be a debate somewhere in the middle! Sounds like a marriage to me!



Not quite, we didn’t get a chance to work football into the thread!


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## marina72 (Dec 29, 2008)

Amplexor, you make very valid points, and say a lot of the things that I think most people know deep down, but don't want to admit, and don't have the guts to say. Good for you! I agree wholeheartedly with you. Porn is in general a sick , demoralizing thing that can ruin a relationship. I don't think it's so much bad when a person is single, but even then it can become an addiction. And why go down that road? When my husband and I began dating, he had a habit of looking at porn, it was just a morning coffee habit, and he was not even masturbating. But, I realized he was doing it too often, and I told him straight up, you have a real live woman in front of you to have sex with, and you can either have me , or the porn. I told him I would not tolerate a relationship with him/ and his porn. He stopped looking at it, and he knows I will find out if he does. It's not a matter of keeping tabs, he has started to see that porn can ruin a person's sexual chemistry with their partner, because he's seen it happen to others. It desensitizes us, and people that tend to watch that stuff again and again, develop an unrealistic ideal of what women, or men should look like, and devalues beautiful sex between and couple, and turns it into something rauncy, sick and twisted. That is my opinion, I know some are into that kind of stuff. I just think it's such a shame, that nothing is held sacred anymore, not even love, and making love. There is nothing wrong with being a little kinky with your spouse, but, it's when you have to have the money shot, or watch a woman be degraded just to get off, that porn becomes a problem. Porn ruins wonderful, normal, loving sex, by making it seem boring, and not gaudy and raunchy enough, and people start to require more and more nasty deeds to satisfy their sexual appetite. Like I said, not everyone feels this way, so I understand that. 

I don't think it's wrong if two people want to watch that together, but , there is no denying, it will take it's toll on even the most consenting of adults.


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