# oddly good sex life, sorta.



## Kaboom (Feb 6, 2013)

This is going to be a long story, with no real complaining, questions, or even a point. Just a memoir of my sex life with the wife.

With all the *****ing I do about my wife, the sex life is oddly.. good. It's not great, but it is good.

When we first met, I with-held from having sex. Having several failed relationships that had always started with sex, I decided to hold back and date her for what might have been a month before even bringing it up.

Finally, SHE brought it up haha. She asked me if I had any interest in it, and said that she was afraid that I seemed disinterested about it. I reassured her that I did indeed like sex, and that I was essentially a complete and utter pervert and explained my position.

Needless to say, we started having sex, and it was pretty awesome. She was extremely open about it, including open about her masturbating a lot, her collection of girl magazines (not playgirl.. but playboy, hustler, penthouse, etc!), she liked girls and they turned her on, but she never had any experiences with them.

We bought toys, experimented, mostly normal stuff. 

So after we moved in, the sex stopped for months. I initiated but she was never in the mood. It got to the point that I was considering moving out and moving on.. trying to discuss it always ended in her accusing me- "is that all you want is sex?"

It took me a while to realize that the problem was mine- I wasn't being romantic enough.. she is really into the whole woo-ing thing and passion as well, so I had to work on that. I still to this day have problems with romance.. I'm just not much of a romantic, but I do try, for her.

Anyways, fast forward several years. When we decided to have a child, the sex became boring. Same old. We had a hard time conceiving .. so it was months and months of daily scheduled sex. Once she got preggo, she got very horny lol, I was having a hard time with it only because I was so sick of the day-to-day sex, but we did have sex often.. surprisingly, sex with a pregnant woman is really good...

Fast forward.. since the child was born, we went into a rut.. I wasn't feeling at all romantic and we would go weeks and even months without. We've had a lot of issues over the years and the sex became frustrating for both of us.. She would expect me to read her moods and do exactly what she was in the mood for.. it became all about her terms, and the moment I did anything wrong, she would shut down on me, usually getting extremely angry and then arguments would ensue.. usually other issues would come out and the fighting would last for days. It got to the point where I avoided sex completely simply because it usually led to fighting, or the "day after" syndrome (where she would just be a major B the next day, no matter how good or bad the sex was).. I honestly believe most women don't realize that they do that.. my wife certainly didn't until I pointed it out to her.

So anyways, we eventually sat down and discussed it rationally, several times, and came to realize our issues in the bedroom were mostly communication.. both of us were guilty to an extent, but in the end, we finally talked about fetishes, experimentation, and we were both surprised to find that we shared a lot of similar fetishes and turn-on's. Without getting too graphic.. we are both pretty perverted. While I was raised catholic (yeah, believe it or not), I no longer identify with religion, but am still bashful at times (not here!), where she's more accepting of who she is sexually and open about it. I'm shocked at myself for being so bottled up all this time about my fetishes when she would have been open to them from day 1. I also took the time to explain to her that a vagina does NOT come with an instruction manual, and if I'm doing something wrong, she needs to help guide and instruct me on how to do it right.. 

So about a year ago we worked on that, and also started exploring the kinkier side of things. We went to a strip club together, she had never been to one before so I took pride in letting the girls know that as they made the rounds  they treated her like a queen and she really liked most of them (she was turned on and thought they were sexy). We talked openly about which ones she liked and why. She wanted to take one home.. lol, that's a big no-no of course, but she does want to do a threesome soon.

I've done them before, and that is one of my fetishes, so I'm all about that! 

Anyways, to sum it up, we've been roleplaying alot, I've been more romantic (for her still, but I'm getting better), and doing everything we can to communicate and keep things lively. I've been much happier sexually in the last year than all the others with her combined.

So, if you take anything from this, be open and honest, and help your SO come out of their shell.. communication is the key to it all, and ladies- letting your man know what turns you on is huge.. keep in mind that you are all different in feeling and sensitivity down there.. we are often left guessing when doing oral or fingering, and we aren't good at reading body language, especially when our faces are buried in it and we're focused on what we're doing.

Women- know that when you do oral.. stop trying to run towards the finish line and take your time.. maneuver around with your mouth and take care of every part of it, not just the obvious.. (just sayin' ..)

Hope this helps.


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## Loyal Lover (Jan 30, 2013)

It does help, thank you for sharing. It was a great read and I am glad things are looking so kinky for you and the missus. Looking forward to the more sexy episodes.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Yeah. Communication. We aren't mind readers. 

You didn't mention porn, but there's plenty that's free and fun. You only need about five minutes of it, not full-length movies.

We almost never go out, three times in three years with a sitter. All to a strip club with a pool table. I don't like just sitting and watching, and I don't drink. So we shoot pool and watch from a distance. We tip all of the dancers, crikey some shouldn't be up there. Just a dollar, and also the waitress and the bartender for sodas or cranberry juice. Diplomacy.

She wants me to do one in the back with her watching but it's just an appalling waste of money. Not even a lapdance for me, thanks. Thirty bucks? No way.


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