# If you knew then what you know now



## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

If you knew then, what you know now about your relationship, where do you think you would be?


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## SadieBrown (Mar 16, 2011)

Jamison said:


> If you knew then, what you know now about your relationship, where do you think you would be?


Divorced, or I would never have married him in the first place.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I'd be living the life of a goddess. See I'm the one that messed it up. Had a guy that adored me and I pushed him away. Now I have to put forth effort to undo the damage I did for years.


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## aquamarine (Apr 13, 2011)

Jamison said:


> If you knew then, what you know now about your relationship, where do you think you would be?



Single.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

I would make more or less the same idiotic errors I did before, I imagine. Maybe with different people but I have to think I'd reject the woman I loved the most and who loved me and for whom we were the most compatible, for someone else, just like before. Now if I were the person I am now....that's a different story. If I can't be a shining example, at least let me be a horrible warning.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

I'd be with the same person but we would have been living in a different part of the world.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I am quite happy and content with mine, I will still be desperate to ask him to make his decision to be with me or not! 


We both love Taiwan too! Right now we are not thinking of going anywhere!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I would not have gotten married.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

No one would get married if they knew what they were getting into but it's still better than being single
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bill2011 (Feb 5, 2011)

I would be single with much more money than I have now. I would adopt two children and have a hooker, nanny and housekeeper on payroll.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

You know what's funny? When I married my Dear Hubby, I married him because he is gentle, thoughtful, kind, patient and not even *close* to abusive. I thought I was marrying a man who was healthy, middle-aged, part-time father, whose ex was out of his life and he was employed full-time . After we were married, things changed and he lost his health, we became WAY MORE THAN FULL TIME parents, his ex was constantly interfering and he couldn't work full time due to health issues...but together we chose to have me work and have him be SAHD to homeschool the kids. 

Now for a time I honestly did have some resentment, sort of feeling like "This is not what I signed up for! This was not part of the agreement I made!" However, I came to realize that although it wasn't how things were AT FIRST...that life marches on and changes. Things change. Kids grow up. We get older. And part of my promise was to forsake all others in all of life's situations. Furthermore, I realize now that many of these events have been things that have made me a better person, woman, wife and mother. 

Had I known then what I did not know then, I may not have married him, but then I would not have learned what I know NOW...which is that when you make a vow with a person, you BUILD the relationship you want. It doesn't just "happen."


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## Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Apr 12, 2011)

Affaircare said:


> Had I known then what I did not know then, I may not have married him, but then I would not have learned what I know NOW...which is that when you make a vow with a person, you BUILD the relationship you want. It doesn't just "happen."


This is a fantastic thing to hear... :smthumbup: I sometimes think that if I knew back in the first year of my relationship with my wife what I know about her now, that I probably wouldn't have married her, let alone continued my relationship with her.

I still struggle with things in our past, mostly because of her past, and that has contributed to our current issues and difficulties, but it is because of my issues dealing with those things, and less about her issues with her past or any issues she may have with my past.

I am glad I did marry my wife, because we have two great kids who I love very much, and who both love me so much that it never ceases to amaze me. In spite of all the difficulties and issues we've had, I am genuinely grateful I have her in my life because she really is a good person at the core of who she is, and we've had some very good times together, and our kids are one of the single biggest sources of happiness and satisfaction in our lives.

I hope I can continue to keep growing and improving as a person, and being better able to have in my own life what you express here.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Me & my husband has had a pretty easy go of things in life & marraige, our only difficult time was "secondary infertility", which made me somewhat unbearable to deal with. I lived & breathed to conceive. Then when the fertility floodgates were opened - we went on to have another 5 kids in 9 yrs. I call none of this a burden but pure JOY , everything we dreamed of falling into place. 

I would have done everything the same EXCEPT not being so stressed about babies (what a waste of my energy & a burden I put on my husband) , and being more open & adventerous in the bedroom. 

I don't like getting older, seeing the lines on our face & the gray hairs. I feel like we have reached the top of the mountain in our life together, all goals successfully acheived, now it is time to go down that hill , health issues inevitably awaiting us, watching our children plan THEIR dreams. 

It has been a beautiful ride so far.


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

I would have done it all over again with her. I would have made a break from my job earlier though.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

We would still be engaged, not married yet.
I regret the way we got married, because it wasn't what I wanted. I feel sad when I see other women who got to have real weddings, not the cheap and sadly small affair we had.
We had no money and my mother was trying to offer to pay, so that she could plan my wedding as though she was the bride. I didn't want that, so we eloped. Now my brothers and Dad have joined my mother in not speaking to us. 
I never had a bridal shower or a bachelorette party either. I feel cheated that I will never get to be a real bride and I miss my dad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sulin (Apr 7, 2011)

I would go in a different way.. Just to see how it was.. Wouldn't marry my husband, or I'd give it some more time.. Or maybe marry another guy who begged me to marry him, 2 days before my wedding.. I often think about it.. But what's done its done.. With what I knew at that moment I made the right choice.. 

Mrs. G, I'm sorry to hear that.. But except the part of your family not speaking to you, Don't regret it.. I guess it all depens on person, but I always wanted nice wedding with all my family and friends, in a place that I dreamed of since my chiledhood.. I ended up getting married in two weeks period, without my family, closest friends, ordering my dress online that arrieved a day before my wedding, without my engagement ring (cause it didn't came in yet) on the beach of the river, with nothing on it.. And it was the best day of my life..  All I needed was my husband then, and I was happy  
i know wedding is something we should remember our whole lives as the most beautifull day, but its all about how you feel, not about expencive place, dress or food..


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## Leah L (Jan 11, 2011)

I would have made the same decisions up to this point (moved to be w/husband, etc) however I would have postponed and possibly not married my husband.

I'm not beating myself up about it after some contemplation, married or not - right now I would and am making the same decisions.


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## hippygirl39 (Apr 14, 2011)

I like to think I would have acted on the warning signs and walked away before we got married but I think the signs probably weren't strong enough to really ring alarm bells. I would definitely take longer to decide to marry someone and get to know them a lot better before becoming entangled in relationship that is difficult to get out of.


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## themrs (Oct 16, 2009)

I think about this all the time. I really can't say. If not marrying my husband or marrying him at a different time or under different circumstances means that I wouldn't have my beautiful babies then I can say that I would not change a thing.

If I could changes things around and still have my lovely children, I would have waited until we were more financially stable and educated before we married.


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