# Need advice about sex



## reddog1910 (Mar 8, 2012)

My wife and I have been married for 8 years. We have two kids ages 1 and 3. We got married right after college and our sex lives were great. In fact it's been great up till a few years ago (kids). My sexual appetite can be overwhelming at times. I could have sex 10 day if I could. I love to do unusual things with sex and would try about anything. My wife is the opposite. Even after a romantic night I still have to basically ask for sex. Most of the time she is like ok, hurry up (no wildness at all like if use to be). Recently I thought to spice things up a bit, so I thought it would be fun to find another couple from out of town who we did not know and basically play truth or dare. We would ask the couple to either answer a question / tell a sex story or take some pics of them nude. This was all done with out face shots and over e-mail. It was very hot for me but when it was our turn, she would not do full nude pictures. So, it ended up the couple stopped communicating. I would like to know is this sounds weird and what are some other ways to spice things up. Remember I am very kinky.


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## jennifer1986 (Feb 4, 2012)

From what I have gotten to know about our crowd here, you might get some pretty negative comments.

My only thoughts are
(1) if she is not comfortable with this idea, it's completely useless. 
(2) Since you seem very into it, this might spiral out of control where you would be doing things that your wife feel are betraying/cheating on her. 
(3) Be careful because kids grow up to use computer quickly and emails can be forgotten to be deleted.
(4) People hack emails
(5) Be careful about acquintances/coworkers/bosses in case someone reads your email.


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## phantomfan (Mar 7, 2012)

From someone who opened that box in a past relationship, it ends badly 99 percent of the time. It's a much better idea to channel that energy into your wife. You can do a lot of things in the area of role playing and sex games that should be able to give you the feeling of being with someone different without the hurt that comes with swapping. I'd have sex with my wife 10 times too but that's a whole other thing than bringing others into your relationship.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jadegreen (Apr 4, 2011)

You say your sex life was great before kids, and that she does not seem enthused. Is that past or present? Has she changed since the kids? Was she enthused before? If she was not enthused or adventurous before, then I'd say you have someone with that characteristic and that is not going to fly. If she was enthused before, and is not now, I'd say she's stressed and overworked and this is not going to help. Either way, she seems to be playing along to keep you happy even though she is pretty uncomfortable with the idea. I would say you are feeling sexually frustrated, and so you are searching for an easy outlet - but maybe the better one is to look more closely at what has happened in your own sex life, between you. This is an important moment - a foundation for finding a way to care for each other as life goes on and you work at different speeds.


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## par4 (Mar 8, 2012)

How did you find the other couple? That is an interesting idea.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## reddog1910 (Mar 8, 2012)

Thanks for taking the time to read my post and reply. Desperately needing advise. Before kids she was very enthused and very adventurous. She does work full time and does a lot around the house at night. I ask every night if I can help with something but she won't allow me to do dishes, clothes, etc. Any advice would be helpful on how I even approach this with out making her mad.




Jadegreen said:


> You say your sex life was great before kids, and that she does not seem enthused. Is that past or present? Has she changed since the kids? Was she enthused before? If she was not enthused or adventurous before, then I'd say you have someone with that characteristic and that is not going to fly. If she was enthused before, and is not now, I'd say she's stressed and overworked and this is not going to help. Either way, she seems to be playing along to keep you happy even though she is pretty uncomfortable with the idea. I would say you are feeling sexually frustrated, and so you are searching for an easy outlet - but maybe the better one is to look more closely at what has happened in your own sex life, between you. This is an important moment - a foundation for finding a way to care for each other as life goes on and you work at different speeds.


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## reddog1910 (Mar 8, 2012)

I thought it would be a great idea to try to add some spice to our sex live and get it back to the way it was. I reviewed about 100 or so craigslist posting for MW4MW and found one that matched the same idea. This couples posting even stated they did not want to meet (swapping was out of the question for both couples). After a few e-mails we determined we were a good fit and the same type of people. It wasn't about even seeing their pictures but the adventure and experience of doing the dares and stores with my wife. To me this was very conservative.




par4 said:


> How did you find the other couple? That is an interesting idea.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## reddog1910 (Mar 8, 2012)

Thank for the reply. Read my comment back to the other post. This did not include m=even meeting the other couple and especially not swapping.



phantomfan said:


> From someone who opened that box in a past relationship, it ends badly 99 percent of the time. It's a much better idea to channel that energy into your wife. You can do a lot of things in the area of role playing and sex games that should be able to give you the feeling of being with someone different without the hurt that comes with swapping. I'd have sex with my wife 10 times too but that's a whole other thing than bringing others into your relationship.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Wow.

I dunno. I'm in a mood. Maybe I shouldn't even post, but...how about enjoy your life and kids and wife without wanting her to send naked pics to people.

I'd be highly offended if my husband pushed me to do that...and it would cut off our sexlife for sure.


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## reddog1910 (Mar 8, 2012)

Wow, did not push her. When she said no, conversation was over about it. 



that_girl said:


> Wow.
> 
> I dunno. I'm in a mood. Maybe I shouldn't even post, but...how about enjoy your life and kids and wife without wanting her to send naked pics to people.
> 
> I'd be highly offended if my husband pushed me to do that...and it would cut off our sexlife for sure.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Do you think it left a sour taste in her mouth?

Why is she not kinky now? Was she ever? Does your kinkiness have to do with other people? maybe that's a big no-no for her.


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## stoomey74 (Sep 20, 2009)

I wonder if he was just trying to spice it up with something new that he thought she would enjoy. She did not like so it stopped. I probably shouldn't pst either as I am in a mood, but my thought is who cares if she is offended. He is at least trying something to help the relationship.

His feeling are not be dealt with. He should be offended his wife has little to no interest in sex. I know in my relationship that can lead to other problems in the marriage. People act as if he has the problem when in fact she should be considering her spouse and address her problem.

Sorry not my intention to upset anyone. I just know his pain.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

reddog1910 said:


> Thanks for taking the time to read my post and reply. Desperately needing advise. *Before kids she was very enthused and very adventurous. She does work full time and does a lot around the house at night. I ask every night if I can help with something but she won't allow me to do dishes, clothes, etc. *Any advice would be helpful on how I even approach this with out making her mad.



Don't ask her is she needs help, just do it.. Even if I need help with something i will usually say "no". So you see dishes in the sink, wash them. If the floor needs to be vacuumed don't ask her, just do it. :smthumbup: I will not let my husband do the laundry ever again lol.


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

reddog1910 said:


> Even after a romantic night I still have to basically ask for sex. Most of the time she is like ok, hurry up (no wildness at all like if use to be).


If you think about your wife and do things for her, rather than doing things to get yourself laid, the bedroom will improve.


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## phantomfan (Mar 7, 2012)

River1977 said:


> If you think about your wife and do things for her, rather than doing things to get yourself laid, the bedroom will improve.


As a man who has treated my wife like a spoiled queen mostly because I love her and want to give her EVERYTHING she could ever want, that doesn't change the bedroom. It shouldn't matter. A woman should take care of their man in the bedroom regardless because its the right thing to do. Most of us need that to be emotionally bonded and connected to our spouses. 

Also from a man's point of view, just about every interaction that we have with a woman centers around getting laid. That's how the man's brain works. If we didn't have that running in our brains, we would be women. That isn't a bad thing either, just part of who we are biologically.


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## reddog1910 (Mar 8, 2012)

Thanks you I agree



phantomfan said:


> As a man who has treated my wife like a spoiled queen mostly because I love her and want to give her EVERYTHING she could ever want, that doesn't change the bedroom. It shouldn't matter. A woman should take care of their man in the bedroom regardless because its the right thing to do. Most of us need that to be emotionally bonded and connected to our spouses.
> 
> Also from a man's point of view, just about every interaction that we have with a woman centers around getting laid. That's how the man's brain works. If we didn't have that running in our brains, we would be women. That isn't a bad thing either, just part of who we are biologically.


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## kc8 (Mar 12, 2012)

As a wife when I started not basically not caring about sex, I felt ugly and unwanted by my H, so why was I going to show initiative & the fact that u went outside of ur marriage just asserted ur dwindling desire for ur wife. Do not faut ur wife for not wanting to share pictures of herself with another man, she is loyal and considers herself yours. You need to work on making ur wife feel wanted, hold her, kiss her, try just pleasing her in bed with oral, it wil turn u on when u see her enjoyment. Women are just like men, if ur unhappy with sex then so are we. Women just have underlying emotions attached to everything, if we feel beautiful and desired we will screw ur brains out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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