# Anyone tried 'nesting' for the sake of the kids?



## thankfulone (Apr 9, 2012)

Has anyone tried to do nesting? It is when the kids stay in the home while the parents go back and forth from another residence. It is supposed to provide stability for the kids during separation. It has been talked about here and there with both good and bad reviews. I would think it would take a lot of cooperation from both spouses to make it work. But maybe it can be good for the kids? Your thoughts? Experiences?


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

We briefly entertained the notion. The first night I slept in the bedroom and saw her undewear and one of her OMs shirts in her area, I scrapped it completely. Also, I have always thought this would be really weird for kids to have mommy some nights and daddy others. Just seems like it would be confusing.

The only way I can imagine people pull this off is if both parties want out of the marriage and neither has been wronged.

For me, it was just more pain. I do know a couple that does it and they are totally fine. They're doing the nesting until their house sells. But, they pretty much both checked out of their marriage years ago and had already been living in different rooms in the house. It wasn't alot of change for their kids.


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## reggis (Apr 11, 2012)

sd212 said:


> Also, I have always thought this would be really weird for kids to have mommy some nights and daddy others. Just seems like it would be confusing.


It's called "visitation" and it's part of every divorce that involves children and parents who want to spend time with them.

Kids quickly realize that the parents are not together and they can't be a family anymore.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

reggis said:


> It's called "visitation" and it's part of every divorce that involves children and parents who want to spend time with them.
> 
> Kids quickly realize that the parents are not together and they can't be a family anymore.


Well of course that is obvious. I was clearly referring to the idea of mom in the bedroom one night and dad in the bedroom the next.


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

I'll chime in here. I did this for 6 months and then finally said screw it and got another place. Too many triggers for me. Took over a year for the house to sell. Got really bad when exw started bringing OM to the house for the weekends. She eventually moved in with him after about 6 months so the house sat empty. Don't think she liked being there either. It was necessary in my situation. I ended up "living" in 5 different places during those 6 months because I had to borrow living space for my half of the time. It was hell. I don't even think about that stretch of time anymore, however, and it was only 7 months ago. Worst 6 months of my life.


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## justwhy (Dec 7, 2011)

I would not recommend it if the marriage is over.


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## bippy17 (Mar 20, 2012)

Hey All. Wow, sounds like we all have thoughts on this one. It is extreamly hard. But not sure if it's ok to stay to see if both parties want to give it a certain amount of time to see if anything changes. Take a look at my story..Let me know what you think. Interesting..

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-...cant-describe-trying-man-up-3.html#post673251


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## thankfulone (Apr 9, 2012)

justwhy said:


> I would not recommend it if the marriage is over.


Could you elaborate a little?


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## thankfulone (Apr 9, 2012)

Paradise said:


> I'll chime in here. I did this for 6 months and then finally said screw it and got another place. Too many triggers for me. Took over a year for the house to sell. Got really bad when exw started bringing OM to the house for the weekends. She eventually moved in with him after about 6 months so the house sat empty. Don't think she liked being there either. It was necessary in my situation. I ended up "living" in 5 different places during those 6 months because I had to borrow living space for my half of the time. It was hell. I don't even think about that stretch of time anymore, however, and it was only 7 months ago. Worst 6 months of my life.


Sorry to hear that Paradise. I could not even imagine being with someone else right now. Sounds like you might be better off without this person in your life.


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