# Strippers



## vspinkgrl

Ok so hubby and I went through the whole jealousy thing years ago. We have gotten over it, and have said we dont care if the other goes to a strip club without each other. Around here there are no male strip clubs, so the female one is the only option. He is ok with that. 
Well there is an event coming into town where there will be all male strippers and I said I would like to go with some friends. Hubby gets upset and says he is mildly ok with it. I asked him why and he said "Its not that you want to go, it where your heading that I don't like"...:scratchhead:
I inquire as to what that means. Well a while a go...years to be exact I said I have no interest in seeing male strippers shaking their junk in my face and would much rather go to a female strip club. Apparently, I can't change my mind at any point of my life. No, I still don't prefer to have a male stripper shaking his junk in my face but it sounds like it might be fun and I'd like to check it out. I mean am I wrong for seeing a variation in fairness here?


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## homebuilder

Well fair is fair so your husband should have agreed neither of you would go, but the problem men have with their wife going to a strip club IMO is this. When a man goes to a strip club it's known there is no touching and if you do you will probably have some 300 pound bouncer throw you out on your butt. When women go to these clubs I think most dancers don't mind being touched and actually encourage it. I've read alot of stories of male strippers putting their *icks in women's faces and all sorts of things. This normally would not go on with women strippers. This is all my opinion though and have no facts on this.


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## *LittleDeer*

I don't think either of you should go. 
The fact that you feel no jealousy means you have started to detach IMO. 

I don't think it's healthy to spend your spare time with other naked people.

Too many naked people spoil the broth or some such thing. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pink_lady

homebuilder said:


> Well fair is fair so your husband should have agreed neither of you would go, but the problem men have with their wife going to a strip club IMO is this. When a man goes to a strip club it's known there is no touching and if you do you will probably have some 300 pound bouncer throw you out on your butt. When women go to these clubs I think most dancers don't mind being touched and actually encourage it. I've read alot of stories of male strippers putting their *icks in women's faces and all sorts of things. This normally would not go on with women strippers. This is all my opinion though and have no facts on this.


Totally true- I've had male dancers literally rub my crotch, pull out their c0cks a few inches from my face, whisper their hotel room numbers in my ear, etc. That stuff happens all the time.

But I did used to have a lot of fun watching them!

I think what's good for the goose should be good for the gander. It's not like there aren't lap dances and private dances at female strip clubs.


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## 2ntnuf

*LittleDeer* said:


> I don't think either of you should go.
> The fact that you feel no jealousy means you have started to detach IMO.
> 
> I don't think it's healthy to spend your spare time with other naked people.
> 
> Too many naked people spoil the broth or some such thing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Had to repost this.


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## homebuilder

pink_lady said:


> Totally true- I've had male dancers literally rub my crotch, pull out their c0cks a few inches from my face, whisper their hotel room numbers in my ear, etc. That stuff happens all the time.
> 
> But I did used to have a lot of fun watching them!
> 
> I think what's good for the goose should be good for the gander. It's not like there aren't lap dances and private dances at female strip clubs.


I agree, he should not have went if he didn't want her to go but I do think more is tolerated with men dancers than women dancers.


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## SunnyT

Do what you want to do. Your H did.


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## DontTakeTheGirl

I dont recall her saying he went.


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## vspinkgrl

He has gone in the past. But he hasn't gone in a long time because he says he doesn't care about spending his time there anymore. He's been quite a bit, and I haven't. And, well I might have a few more in me before I feel that way, LOL. 
And yes I know that some women will go super far with a stripper and male strippers tend to throw themselves around more because..well they are men. But, I'm the type who have fun at drag shows too, I'm not sexually attracted to them or look at it that way. It's all in good fun. He is cool with things like that, but not this.
As far as the jealousy thing goes, now I feel like I've left it in the past and as far as him it all looks good on paper but when it could materialize he still harbors insecure feelings. And letting go of feelings of jealousy may mean detachment to some, but I think its immature and letting go of it in many instances can perhaps be growing up a little. 
We have discussed it a little more since I posted and he does recognize that its unfair and seems to have thought it out a bit more. Would it be out of line if this situation ended in him saying no and I retract my earlier agreeing to him going?


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## *LittleDeer*

I don't think there is anything mature about turning your attention away from your marriage and towards other naked people. JMO


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## Gaia

I am with little deer. Jealousy is actually quite mature and natural. Imo there is absolutely nothing wrong with being territorial when it comes to ones life partner. Now if your open, non jealous lifestyle works for you then great. Personally I have never, could never, and would never be ok with my man sitting at a strip club to watch random women shake thier tits and ass. If he wants to see tit and ass shaking he can very well enjoy it from me.

Now you say he has gone to strip clubs in the past? Was this before he was with you or while he was with you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Enchanted

To me, going to strip clubs is a forum of cheating. Lap dances are definitively cheating.


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## Emerald

vspinkgrl said:


> Ok so hubby and I went through the whole jealousy thing years ago. We have gotten over it, and have said we dont care if the other goes to a strip club without each other. Around here there are no male strip clubs, so the female one is the only option. He is ok with that.
> Well there is an event coming into town where there will be all male strippers and I said I would like to go with some friends. Hubby gets upset and says he is mildly ok with it. I asked him why and he said "Its not that you want to go, it where your heading that I don't like"...:scratchhead:
> I inquire as to what that means. Well a while a go...years to be exact I said I have no interest in seeing male strippers shaking their junk in my face and would much rather go to a female strip club. Apparently, I can't change my mind at any point of my life. No, I still don't prefer to have a male stripper shaking his junk in my face but it sounds like it might be fun and I'd like to check it out. I mean am I wrong for seeing a variation in fairness here?


Mildly ok is still ok.

If there were/are jealousy issues in your marriage, then why go to a strip club? Are you sure you are not trying to "even the score" or do you really want to go when you yourself has said here & to your husband in the past that you had no interest?


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## that_girl

Don't let male strippers ruin your marriage. Seriously.


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## zombie0401

*LittleDeer* said:


> I don't think either of you should go.
> The fact that you feel no jealousy means you have started to detach IMO.
> 
> I don't think it's healthy to spend your spare time with other naked people.
> 
> Too many naked people spoil the broth or some such thing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


really? i don't agree with that at all. this isn't the 1930's go out have fun and appreciate the art of a naked person lol


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## notmarriedyet

My SO and I went to a female strip club together just the other night. It was his first time ever. I made sure boobs got rubbed in his face, I even convinced one to sort of straddle him, with her ankles on his shoulders and ho-hum near his face, but not in it. 

He looked adorable I think. He confessed it really did nothing for him, has not expressed interest in going again (I said, "let's go again!") and he doesn't care for it. 

However, he did say he'd like to get me a pole to dance on for him, and much prefers my boobs in his face. lol

Anyhow, I think it's a matter of preference between couples. I know he wouldn't be comfortable with a male stripper in my face. He would respect it if I felt the same about a woman on him, but I think it's fun. I got a lap dance too, it's just good fun. 

So, I would never let a man swing his junk in my face. Although I like seeing a woman swing hers in my mans face. Maybe I am strange or in the minority. But as long as I am there, I'm good. I don't think I would like it if I weren't there though. . .


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## vspinkgrl

Just if he is going to take it off the table then so am I. I have no problem not going if its agreed that neither will go. But there just cant be a double standard.
I don't care if my husband goes to the strip club, but lord knows he is too cheap for lap dances. But we did agree that private dances were off limits. We have attended many strip clubs as a couple though. And when he was at the strip clubs, yes we were together.
I don't agree that strip clubs are cheating at all. As cheating to me is deception and what is deceptive about going somewhere that your SO is ok with? If my man is tempted to cheat with some raunchy strippers and I have to worry about that then obviously this is not worth it. And it would be a cold day in hell if I let a male stripper ruin my marriage. I don't see a possibility in that at all. Its not a sexual arousal thing, it just seems like it would be fun. Its a one night event, not something I could even attend regularly if I wanted to.
I'm sorry I just see jealousy about certain things as an insecurity and I think insecurity is due in part to immaturity. Yes, we are all human and get jealous but also as adults we are exposed to boobs, and private areas on a regular, whether it be TV or porn or whatever. Its just a little dumb to me to be jealous as if I haven't seen a penis before, or he hasn't seen a pair before. Like as soon as I see one, I'm going to fall to my knees or faint. I know a lot of couples aren't comfortable in that area though.
Well anyway, I'm going and he is ok with it. I think it was just the surprise of me showing interest after I said it wasn't something I would do during our last conversation about it.


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## vspinkgrl

Emerald said:


> Mildly ok is still ok.
> 
> If there were/are jealousy issues in your marriage, then why go to a strip club? Are you sure you are not trying to "even the score" or do you really want to go when you yourself has said here & to your husband in the past that you had no interest?


No, I really want to go just for the experience. It was a while ago that I said I had no interest. I also said I'd never eat artichokes or have another baby either But it has nothing to do with a score or anything.


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## seasalt

First time posting in this section.

Someone mentioned equity. Should equity be a goal to strive for when it lowers oneself? Is that really an "experience" you want to put into your ledger? Would your life be incomplete without it? Would you disappoint your children if you didn't go?

There is so much talk about boundries on this site. Nothing wrong with setting mutual boundries whereby neither of you opens the door to anything that might be inappropriate in a healthy marriage.

If you do go, don't drink to excess. Watch your drink at all times and do not allow anyone to photograph you. Not the event organizers or your girlfriends with their I-phones. Too many "innocent" situations can be easily misinterpreted by your husband if he were to see your actions or reactions although it's hard to imagine an innocent situation at a strip club.

As a final thought, if you have to come on here to validate your going maybe its not a good, right or smart thing to do.

Good luck,

Seasalt


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## Cosmos

homebuilder said:


> Well fair is fair so your husband should have agreed neither of you would go, but the problem men have with their wife going to a strip club IMO is this. When a man goes to a strip club it's known there is no touching and if you do you will probably have some 300 pound bouncer throw you out on your butt. When women go to these clubs I think most dancers don't mind being touched and actually encourage it. I've read alot of stories of male strippers putting their *icks in women's faces and all sorts of things. This normally would not go on with women strippers. This is all my opinion though and have no facts on this.


Frankly, I don't believe that strip clubs are places that married people should be frequenting, period.

Regarding the above, though, we recently had a poster tell us how guilty he felt after ejaculating during a lap dance at a strip club, so I don't believe that male strip clubs are any more innocent than female strip clubs.


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## Entropy3000

Strip shows vary greatly with both male and females.

Traditionally female strip shows are fairly boring really.
Guys drink over priced drinks and watch a woman remove clothing to some extent. Often just topless and a thong.

Many guys think that the above is true for male strippers. Male strippers are about the visual but absolutley about the crowd involvement and action. The thrill is in the guy basically forcing himself on the woman. i.e she can claim he was too quick for her. Which they often are. Of course many woman go completly wild and attack the guys.

Anyway, back to female strip shows. Certain Gentlemen's clubs specialize in lap dances and VIP rooms. Now for me ... lap dances are cheating. Touching is cheating in my marriage. Frankly I have no desire to pay a woman to give me a lap dance. But then there are the VIP rooms. Let your imagination wonder here. But guys can end up spending 500 bucks or more at one of these places.

Now even in the most tame male strip shows the stripper may not strip nude but they do at least go down to a banana hammock and the women do reach in for a feel or two. Women tend to be very rowdy so they tend to tear at the strippers at times. That said, the strippers will often basically attack a given woman. Grope and throw her down in a quick way and perform simulated sex on her. Many women are embarrassed by this but like it none-the-less. A female thing I guess. Being taken.

Now the not so tame versions for male strip shows are nude and can but not always involve manual / oral sex. Not saying that is common but it can happen. One way to encourage that in a crowd is to have a paid woman in the crowd to set the example. I am NOT talking about the fake porn stuff on the internet.

Now I am not saying that all shows are radical but when do you really know unless it is the thunder from down under stuff. Then you know what goes on. Otherwise no telling from tame to crazy.

I think strip clubs are ok for single people. I actually have no problem with the look but don't touch boundary. But like I say by definition male strippers are about audience participation to some extent. I frankly do not want some guy groping my wife let alone dry humping her. 

The other thing while people say male strippers are all gay I contend that many if not most are not gay.
So while a female stripper is doing it for the money, many male strippers are doing for the sex. 

The after party is where these strippers try to hook up. But indeed one of the best places to pick up a woman is after a male revue show. LOL.

I also believe in equity. But all strip shows are not equal. In either case in my marriage touching is out. YMMV.

But everyone loves a drunken wife so drunk she can hardly walk with the hands in some guys hammock. Just as everyone loves a old guy getting lap dances.

But anway ... back to earth. I agree with those that feel that this is not the best thing for a marriage. Sorry I was exposed when I was young to strip and hooker bars so I actually feel sorry for the women that work them. Male strippers are a different deal altogether.


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## Entropy3000

vspinkgrl said:


> No, I really want to go just for the experience. It was a while ago that I said I had no interest. I also said I'd never eat artichokes or have another baby either But it has nothing to do with a score or anything.


When I was single and in the Navy. I had been on Shore Patrol in the hooker bars all cruise. I had begun the cruise with a GF but like most guys not by the end of the cruise. 

So this one French hooker who I had got to know over the months from port to port had been offering me a freebie. So I finally relented. Check off one more sailor thing to do. But I was single. Could I have done without that experience sure. Her wingwomam ended up coming back to the states with my roomate and stayed at our place. Interesting times.

Anyway, I have no desire to go to the the VIP room and experince that. I am married. So experiencing things is one thing but sexual things IMO when you are married is another.

It is one thing to be a a fly on the wall. But it is another to be involved. It is also one thing to do something for a lark and another to do it at the expense of marital tension. That is a whole other discussion that gets into my body is my own and no one controls me. That is a whole agenda onto itself.

Notice that women can accompany men to the female strip club. Your husband would not likely be allowed their when you are there. Not saying he would want to. But why is that do you think?

There are ladies on this board who have been to various shows and can atest to what goes on. But it varies.

I guess what are your personal boundaries here. Are you up for anything or what? Serious question. How far would be too far for you?


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## vspinkgrl

No. I didn't come for any validation. It was mostly about the fairness of the situation. No matter what the entertainment, or the wildness of the event we both agreed upon something. Thats what I was asking. Whether or not it would be fair for him to say..Its ok for me to go but not you. 
Hubby knows that I do not want to be feeling some guys junk, a visualization of a penis or the thought of touching one does not in the least bit turn me on lol. We joke all the time about how ugly I think the whole male anatomy is  Plus, it will be a venue of strippers who are not my type. I once witnessed someone being thrown around by a male stripper, but she was right in the thick of it. We are going to be VIP and in the "watching" area. I do not want to be tossed around, but would find it entertaining to watch the other women go nuts. I don't think I'll have any ejaculation problems, tee hee. And it is a one night thing, there are no male strip clubs around here, so it's not a frequenting thing. And you are right about male strippers being the more guilty ones, a lot of women throw themselves at those guys. 
I enjoy going to the strip club with my husband, I don't think it should be looked down upon just because your married. We just don't get a lot of time out of the house together anymore. 
No, Its not something I"m going to die without. I didnt say that at all. Its something I'd like to attend, thats all. People have things they would like to experience in life, if its not completely out of this world, they should go for it if their spouse or loved ones are ok with it.
I know its not about trusting me with the strippers. Hubby and I have been together since I was 17 and there continues to be growth and changes with both him and I. He is a bit more inflexible to change than I am. He says that he likes that we are growing out of old habits, but its what he has known and sometimes has a hard time with differences.


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## vspinkgrl

Entropy3000 said:


> When I was single and in the Navy. I had been on Shore Patrol in the hooker bars all cruise. I had begun the cruise with a GF but like most guys not by the end of the cruise.
> 
> So this one French hooker who I had got to know over the months from port to port had been offering me a freebie. So I finally relented. Check off one more sailor thing to do. But I was single. Could I have done without that experience sure. Her wingwomam ended up coming back to the states with my roomate and stayed at our place. Interesting times.
> 
> Anyway, I have no desire to go to the the VIP room and experince that. I am married. So experiencing things is one thing but sexual things IMO when you are married is another.
> 
> It is one thing to be a a fly on the wall. But it is another to be involved. It is also one thing to do something for a lark and another to do it at the expense of marital tension. That is a whole other discussion that gets into my body is my own and no one controls me. That is a whole agenda onto itself.
> 
> Notice that women can accompany men to the female strip club. Your husband would not likely be allowed their when you are there. Not saying he would want to. But why is that do you think?
> 
> There are ladies on this board who have been to various shows and can atest to what goes on. But it varies.
> 
> I guess what are your personal boundaries here. Are you up for anything or what? Serious question. How far would be too far for you?


Up for anything? What? I"m just there to watch! I guess putting your junk on my body is too far right there. Shaking it I suppose is part of the show, but I dont want that thing on me. Also touching me on my boobs or any other area is too far. 
But like I said, I know hubby is not concerned about that.


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## Entropy3000

vspinkgrl said:


> Up for anything? What? I"m just there to watch! I guess putting your junk on my body is too far right there. Shaking it I suppose is part of the show, but I dont want that thing on me. Also touching me on my boobs or any other area is too far.
> But like I said, I know hubby is not concerned about that.


Most male strip shows are interactive. This is my point. Indeed they may have a male revue where you can watch and then they have opportunities to get photos with them afterwards.

My whole point is that this stuff runs the gamut.

A show is one thing. Very tame. But if they get the whip cream out ... or they strip to a towel just don't be the one up on stage and you may be ok.

You can probably check and see what the show is about before you go. Just ask if it is nude. Now you still may want to go but a nude show is at a different level.

I am free on business trips to go to a strip club if that is where we end up.
I do not like strip clubs. I avoid them. But my boundary is to have a couple of drinks and watch the show. No other activity. I have bailed on my colleagues more than once on this stuff. But that is logistically tough to do sometimes. Someone paying for a lap dance merely means the dancer gets to keep the money and not provide the service to me.
If my wife was ok with me getting lap dances I would still not be ok with it.


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## *LittleDeer*

vspinkgrl said:


> I don't agree that strip clubs are cheating at all. As cheating to me is deception and what is deceptive about going somewhere that your SO is ok with? If my man is tempted to cheat with some raunchy strippers and I have to worry about that then obviously this is not worth it. And it would be a cold day in hell if I let a male stripper ruin my marriage. I don't see a possibility in that at all. Its not a sexual arousal thing, it just seems like it would be fun. Its a one night event, not something I could even attend regularly if I wanted to.


IMO intimacy & nakedness should be between a couple. It may not be deceptive but it's still cheating your marriage out of something that should be between the to of you, and certainly does nothing to strengthen the attraction and bonds between the two of you.



> I'm sorry I just see jealousy about certain things as an insecurity and I think insecurity is due in part to immaturity.


I disagree, i think a wise person knows that some level of jealousy is normal and is a natural reaction that occurs for a reason. A mature person spends the time and effort concentrating on their marriage and how they can enrich it, not arguing about why they should see strippers.


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## vspinkgrl

*LittleDeer* said:


> IMO intimacy & nakedness should be between a couple. It may not be deceptive but it's still cheating your marriage out of something that should be between the to of you, and certainly does nothing to strengthen the attraction and bonds between the two of you.
> 
> 
> I disagree, i think a wise person knows that some level of jealousy is normal and is a natural reaction that occurs for a reason. A mature person spends the time and effort concentrating on their marriage and how they can enrich it, not arguing about why they should see strippers.


Well not everyone thinks seeing other people naked will ruin their marriage, in fact that just extremist thinking to me. I don't care if my husband sees naked women, and I don't feel as though my marriage is cheated due to that. Ive known quite a few couples who go to strip clubs together, we have even double dated with a few there. Once again, neither one of us care about the nudity of the place. That is not the issue here. The debate was never about that. Just about fairness. 

I don't know where I said our marriage was in shambles or not being concentrated on.:scratchhead: We haven't spent the last week arguing about the strip club. It was mentioned, he made a comment, I made one back..I asked opinions. Not making any negative comments about him as a husband, just questioning the double standard of it all.


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## Enchanted

You know what? Money is so hard to get these days. Unemployment is at a all time high and so many people are losing their homes because of it. If you want to stay married. Put the strip club money towards a nice dinner out with your spouse; it's the better deal.


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## DontTakeTheGirl

Male strippers vs Female strippers are entirely different Women tend to over extend with naked men while men can barely touch the girls and they might get some boobs in their face. Women on the other hand like to "go wild" why do you think there are so many dvd's and pornographic material that depict women doing "gone wild" things?

That's just my $0.02 - Invest in your marriage, the experience is not crucial.


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## Caribbean Man

Enchanted said:


> You know what? Money is so hard to get these days. Unemployment is at a all time high and so many people are losing their homes because of it. If you want to stay married. Put the strip club money towards a nice dinner out with your spouse; it's the better deal.


:iagree:
^^^^^^
"..CONVENTIONAL WISDOM.."

Ha ha!


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## Caribbean Man

*LittleDeer* said:


> I don't think either of you should go.
> The fact that you feel no jealousy means you have started to detach IMO.
> 
> I don't think it's healthy to spend your spare time with other naked people.
> 
> Too many naked people spoil the broth or some such thing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree:
.and in addition to this, the OP is allowing her husband's indiscretions to dictate her reactions.
On other words, she's allowing her husband to shape her.
She should decide for herself what is acceptable behaviour , choose her path and stick to it.


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## DontTakeTheGirl

I don't see how this is the case? She hasn't said he is actively going to strip clubs. She also did not respond if he has gone while in the marriage or before. 

Bottom line here is that she wants to go watch naked guys and he disagrees. She feels it is him being insecure. I don't think I'd be comfortable either if my wife wanted to go see naked men, I'd question her reasons. 

I don't see how this is at all shaping her. I do agree however she should make the decision for herself. This is called "Agreeing to disagree" we cannot control our SO. We can only show our feelings and ask for compromise - this does not always work out. I think if she is so hell bent on going to see naked men, then maybe he should start expressing interest in seeing naked women.


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## vspinkgrl

I did say that he has gone while we are together when he went. If that wasn't the case, then there wouldnt be anything for me to bring to the table.
Once again I said i have no problem not going if he agrees that its unfair and he wont be going ever again either. I'm in no way hell bent... I don't want him to shape me. I just don't want to do anything that will cause us to fight. It's not really worth arguing. We never fought about it, just had a chat.
Also, I truly don't care what other women do, it doesn't affect me or what I would do. Its not nude and I wont be drinking. My SO has no fears of a stripper sweeping me of my feet, and I also don't harbor those fears for him. I don't think insecurity can be applied here, I was only saying what my overall view of insecurity is. Once again the post was about fairness, not what happens at individual strip clubs. There were no male/female strip club stipulations when we made the agreement. If he can go, so can I. If I can go, so can he. 
I've been staying home for quite a while, so I got the money for a GNO haha. But that is good advice in these times.


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## swedish

vspinkgrl said:


> Well there is an event coming into town where there will be all male strippers and I said I would like to go with some friends. Hubby gets upset and says he is mildly ok with it. I asked him why and he said "Its not that you want to go, it where your heading that I don't like"...:scratchhead:
> I inquire as to what that means. Well a while a go...years to be exact I said I have no interest in seeing male strippers shaking their junk in my face and would much rather go to a female strip club.


Sounds to me as if when you made the original 'agreement' that you both could go to strip clubs, he took your distaste for male strip clubs to mean you would both only go to the female clubs, which apparently he has no issues with. 

Now that he's hearing you plan to go to a male club, he probably feels as if he's hearing this angle for the first time and is not as 'ok' with it.


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## vspinkgrl

swedish said:


> Sounds to me as if when you made the original 'agreement' that you both could go to strip clubs, he took your distaste for male strip clubs to mean you would both only go to the female clubs, which apparently he has no issues with.
> 
> Now that he's hearing you plan to go to a male club, he probably feels as if he's hearing this angle for the first time and is not as 'ok' with it.


Well, It became a couples thing to go, and he was asked a few times to go with some friends and at the time I disagreed. Well, it was brought up again down the line and I said I had no problem with it anymore...as long as I could attend a strip club without him. He agreed. 

Male strippers were brought up because the closest place there is one is Canada, which I have been too tons of times, but I said I had no interest and probably would never go. But the male aspect of it was touched upon. 

He may have very well felt, it would never happen due to the lack of a venue and my feelings at the time towards it. Maybe we should have gone into it more. Doesn't make it right for there to be a double standard though. I can't live by those, he knows they drive me up a wall.


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## DontTakeTheGirl

So you've been to Canada tons of time with or without your husband? You've agreed to female strip clubs so why not just stick to your agreement and go to them? Then again I'd wonder about my wife if she actually planned to go to the female strip club (I'd expect men, but women.. well )


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## vspinkgrl

With my husband for Canada. But I have been out ouf town without him. I also never agreed to just going to female strip clubs. I wouldn't mind going to a female strip club, not alone though. I'd go with some girlfriends. The bathroom at a female strip club should have a reality show  Hubby has nothing to wonder about, he knows what the deal is.


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## Entropy3000

You Can Leave Your Hat On


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## heavensangel

Personally, I agree with little deer......

H name for strippers: money hungry vipers! 

No need for strip clubs with us.......If and when either of us want a lap dance or a part of the others anatomy shoved in our face: we're both very willing to ablige!!


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## DontTakeTheGirl

Seems OP needs to concentrate on experiencing her hubby and less experiencing others.


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## WorkingOnMe

It sounds like your husband does not go to strip clubs unless you are with him. So you shouldn't be able to go to strip clubs unless he is with you. Fair is fair. And if having husbands along is against the rules, then too bad.


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## vspinkgrl

Once again I have said that he HAS GONE WITHOUT ME. Therein lies the issue of fairness. And I experience my husband every day and and hopefully will for a long, long time. Thanks.


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## DontTakeTheGirl

vspinkgrl said:


> Once again I have said that he HAS GONE WITHOUT ME. Therein lies the issue of fairness. And I experience my husband every day and and hopefully will for a long, long time. Thanks.



So if you go without him then the "score will be even" ? Are you a Libra? seems you have a weighing of the scales thing going on. 

Why don't you have your husband dance for ya? Might be a good bonding experience.


----------



## vspinkgrl

I think people are missing the point. If there were stipulations and such from his perspective then he should have made that clear before saying it was ok and then going out and executing, just to turn around and say "whoa, whoa..its not ok for you now." Its the same as a couple agreeing to take a trip apart with some friends...your SO goes, then when its your turn say "No, I'm not ok with it now."


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## WorkingOnMe

What are you looking for? People to tell you that are doing the right thing?


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## TiggyBlue

Ok turn this around.
If a couple agreed to strip club's (not excluding female ones) but there was only male ones around so the wife got to go on her own, then when there was a chance for the husband to go to a female strip club but his wife wasn't comfortable about him going even though she went to male strip clubs the posts on this thread would not be the same.
There would be loads of talk of double standards, wheres your balls, she's emasculating you,man up ect.
It seems unfair that a lot of answers the op is getting are pretty hostile.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

abitlost said:


> Ok turn this around.
> If a couple agreed to strip club's (not excluding female ones) but there was only male ones around so the wife got to go on her own, then when there was a chance for the husband to go to a female strip club but his wife wasn't comfortable about him going even though she went to male strip clubs the posts on this thread would not be the same.
> There would be loads of talk of double standards, wheres your balls, she's emasculating you,man up ect.
> It seems unfair that a lot of answers the op is getting are pretty hostile.


Maybe I'm hostile, but I'm equally hostile to the fact that she gave him permission to go to female strip clubs in the first place. That was a bad idea and morally wrong in the first place. Evening the score does not make the previous decision morally right. It just adds another wrong.

What good can come of this? I mean, it's pretty obvious that a ton of bad can come of it. But I don't see any potential for good. Ok, the score will be even. The marriage will be worse (or done) but at least the score will be even. That makes it worthwhile?


----------



## TiggyBlue

I don't think she wants to even the score I think she want's a night out at a male strip club and doesn't see why this is a problem when her husband has enjoyed female strip clubs and never protested to male strip clubs before (maybe he thought that since there was none in their area this wouldn't come up).
Evening the score has come from other posters not the op herself.


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## ChiGirl

Hmmmm

so I have gone to male strip clubs (bachlorette party, birthday etc) I even have a photo of me with 20 naked guys 

What comes to mind is.. are women as visual as men? I don't get turned on by strippers, it's more of a social thing, drinking, having fun with my gf's.

But when men go it's a visual thing and they do get turned on.. even if they can't touch.

I don't know which one is worse. 
You should reassure him that it's more of a social GF thing and that there will be no grinding etc.

Is it just me who feels this way?


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## DontTakeTheGirl

ChiGirl and how does your husband react to the picture of you and 20 naked guys? Does he go to strip clubs? or bachelor parties? I'm more of a dont ask dont tell...

My wife and I go to strip clubs together, she's into the whole girl on girl thing. We go, enjoy ourselves and go home. I can go with my friends if I wish, and she has no restriction on going either (male or female) So you're not the only one who thinks this way. Our only stipulation is no touching. So basically, no lap dances for me and no getting thrown around and "f***ed" by the male stripper. (I can only think of Dancing Bear... )

The OP's tone in her posts come across more about "What's fair?" and "Please give me a way to show my hubby he is wrong" 

If he has gone to the strip club while in the marriage and now is crying the blues, then you both have to have a deep discussion about it. It's not uncommon for DH to be uncomfortable. Sure I can think she's doing all this crazy wild sh** with male strippers (or female ones) but at the end of the day - I trust my wife and if she does something she's not suppose to.. don't tell me. 

Seems to me that you're both on different pages about this... He's executing his "guy rights" going to the strip club and having a good time, and when you want to do it, he feels threatend by guys who are probably better looking and have c***ks like a horse.. I'd feel threatened too. You just need to be up front about your intentions and what you will be doing there (and dont get caught if you choose to ride the pony..) Maybe he secretly finds it a turn on ?? Us guys can be weird about stuff. 

If you two cant however come to an agreement on this - I dont think it's worth it to jeopardize your relationship just to one up him. I'd be pissed, but forcing it will only cause problems.


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## vspinkgrl

Thanks for all the responses. There is no one or nothing that can convince me its morally wrong to go to a strip club if the SO is ok with it. We have gone before and he has gone alone and it never caused a disagreement or suspicions. I really don't care if he goes, but I'd like the same respect. I never wanted anyone to tell me to go, It was more of a is it fair thing. If he was to decide that he didnt want it at all, that fine. He will just no longer have the ok.


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## LittleBird

If he gets to go, you get to go.

Half the things men do sexually in a marriage...porn, sexy chatrooms whatever...if a woman did them, she'd be out on her ass so fast her head would spin. But because "that's just the way men are" there is a massive double standard. You can bet if my fiancé found out I'd been googling pictures of 12 inch ****s all day he'd feel like a piece of **** but yet, I'm supposed to be OK with him looking at God knows what?

Fair is fair.


----------



## WorkingOnMe

LittleBird said:


> If he gets to go, you get to go.
> 
> Half the things men do sexually in a marriage...porn, sexy chatrooms whatever...if a woman did them, she'd be out on her ass so fast her head would spin. But because "that's just the way men are" there is a massive double standard. You can bet if my fiancé found out I'd been googling pictures of 12 inch ****s all day he'd feel like a piece of **** but yet, I'm supposed to be OK with him looking at God knows what?
> 
> Fair is fair.


Obviously each person has to decide whether it's more important to them to be treated fairly or to risk being out on their ass. The thing is, in many cases, as much as you'd want to have both you just can't. It's very much a case of cutting off your nose to spite your face. You lose either way. You just have to decide which is the better loss.

For the record, I agree that is not morally wrong as long as he gives his ok. But you definitely make it sound like he is not ok with it.


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## TiggyBlue

sounds like the old bait and switch lol


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## Entropy3000

ChiGirl said:


> Hmmmm
> 
> so I have gone to male strip clubs (bachlorette party, birthday etc) I even have a photo of me with 20 naked guys
> 
> What comes to mind is.. are women as visual as men? I don't get turned on by strippers, it's more of a social thing, drinking, having fun with my gf's.
> 
> But when men go it's a visual thing and they do get turned on.. even if they can't touch.
> 
> I don't know which one is worse.
> You should reassure him that it's more of a social GF thing and that there will be no grinding etc.
> 
> Is it just me who feels this way?


My only issue with male stirp shows is when they are insteractive in a way where the strippers force themselves on the women. That said, as long as they do not touch my wife and she does not touch them I am cool. My wife and I have agreed to a no touch policy. 

These shows do vary greatly. 

I might add that it is the "private" shows is where things can get way out of hand. That is true with male or female stippers.

But you say they did not grind. So tell us what that particualr show was about. So you say hey were naked so it was a full nude show.

Did they not at least have women on stage? 

What was the most ... boundary pushing that went on?

Lets hear a first hand account. Or will that break ... the code?


----------



## Entropy3000

DontTakeTheGirl said:


> ChiGirl and how does your husband react to the picture of you and 20 naked guys? Does he go to strip clubs? or bachelor parties? I'm more of a dont ask dont tell...
> 
> My wife and I go to strip clubs together, she's into the whole girl on girl thing. We go, enjoy ourselves and go home. I can go with my friends if I wish, and she has no restriction on going either (male or female) So you're not the only one who thinks this way. Our only stipulation is no touching. So basically, no lap dances for me and no getting thrown around and "f***ed" by the male stripper. (I can only think of Dancing Bear... )
> 
> The OP's tone in her posts come across more about "What's fair?" and "Please give me a way to show my hubby he is wrong"
> 
> If he has gone to the strip club while in the marriage and now is crying the blues, then you both have to have a deep discussion about it. It's not uncommon for DH to be uncomfortable. Sure I can think she's doing all this crazy wild sh** with male strippers (or female ones) but at the end of the day - I trust my wife and if she does something she's not suppose to.. don't tell me.
> 
> Seems to me that you're both on different pages about this... He's executing his "guy rights" going to the strip club and having a good time, and when you want to do it, he feels threatend by guys who are probably better looking and have c***ks like a horse.. I'd feel threatened too. You just need to be up front about your intentions and what you will be doing there (and dont get caught if you choose to ride the pony..) Maybe he secretly finds it a turn on ?? Us guys can be weird about stuff.
> 
> If you two cant however come to an agreement on this - I dont think it's worth it to jeopardize your relationship just to one up him. I'd be pissed, but forcing it will only cause problems.


Dancing Bear aside. It is a tactic for male strippers to man handle certain woman. Basiclly do a quick move on them and have them on the floor as they hump them and t-bag them.

I hear that this is just all for laughs and it is not sexual ... GMAFB. Whatever. Yes men are visual but women do get off on being touched and being ... manhandle to an extent.


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## Caribbean Man

This whole episode is like a train wreck happening in slow motion, seeing the braking system malfunctioning and another train coming in the opposite direction.
No good can come out of it, the braking system has already malfunctioned , logic and reasoning is out is out of the window and emotions are at play , making havoc with decisions.
A bad collision is inevitable. 
Now might be a good time to stop , call a ceasefire ,set new boundaries and move on.


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## ChiGirl

Funny cause I actually posted about strip clubs and stbx telling me all about his encounters before he met me. Then he started going behind my back. We never had a conversation he would just lie!

The picture with 20 guys, it was all in fun for my 21st, and my then long term bf thought it was funny- but we had trust. 

I think for women it's more fun, social, while for men it's fuffilling something else 

I took a girlfriend once for her bachlorette and it's guys dancing on stage with 200+ women watching... Then they pull some women on stage- which usually scream and protest, horrified, embarrased etc. We don't like some random guys junk in our face that much!

Different experience then going in and watching a woman take it all off while you sit 1 foot away. Men are just more visual, I thought this was a fact?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ChiGirl

ChiGirl said:


> Funny cause I actually posted about strip clubs and stbx telling me all about his encounters before he met me. Then he started going behind my back. We never had a conversation he would just lie!
> 
> The picture with 20 guys, it was all in fun for my 21st, and my then long term bf thought it was funny- but we had trust.
> 
> I think for women it's more fun, social, while for men it's fuffilling something else
> 
> I took a girlfriend once for her bachlorette and it's guys dancing on stage with 200+ women watching... Then they pull some women on stage- which usually scream and protest, horrified, embarrased etc. We don't like some random guys junk in our face that much!
> 
> Different experience then going in and watching a woman take it all off while you sit 1 foot away. Men are just more visual, I thought this was a fact?
> I don't think women get turned on by t bagging  esp not by some strange guy (unless that is specific fantasy!) it's more like- get off me, I want another vodka...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DontTakeTheGirl

Maybe she should have another convo about this with her DH?


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## MaritimeGuy

Personally I don't believe there is anything wrong with her going to a one off strip show to see what it's all about. Yes the male strip shows are more interactive but only to the extent she chooses to interact. The entertainment value in these events is largely in watching how others behave. 

I been to a couple female strip clubs in my past. I do not find them arousing in the least. A woman strutting her stuff in the midst of a couple dozen creepy men doesn't do anything for me. 

Quite frankly I enjoyed the few times my ex (wife at the time) went to male strip shows and came home and told me about it. 

I say go and have fun. Tell your husband everything that went on while you were there and decide from there whether it's something you wish to partake in ever again. You only live once.


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## DontTakeTheGirl

If you take the only live once attitude, that opens a door for a lot of disruption and chaos.


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## MaritimeGuy

DontTakeTheGirl said:


> If you take the only live once attitude, that opens a door for a lot of disruption and chaos.


I really don't get the sense the OP is preparing to run away and have a torrid affair with a stripper. I don't see any disruption and chaos coming out of her attending this event. Of course I could be wrong. It's just my opinion.


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## DontTakeTheGirl

I don't think so either, but if we look at the OP's other postings she definitely has a butting of heads with her husband. I don't think it's that serious of an issue, however it really is all about presentation and some of her wording may reflect she doesn't take him seriously.


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## vspinkgrl

No running away with a stripper for me! LOL!
I do take hubby seriously, but I won't live by double standards. I brought it up again that I would likely be attending and he made a joke about me getting thrown around. But he didn't object.


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## Carlchurchill

to get a brief inclination into what nightmares your husband is having over this go onto youporn.com or redtube and search for 'cfnm' 

Im not saying u would do anything, but in a group setting with drink involved and some peer pressure, who knows...


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## RandomDude

HA! Looks like your husband finally bit himself in the ass lol! Double standards, fking stupid really. Unless he can agree to stop going to strip clubs himself, forget it, what's fair is fair in my opinion.

Just go and have fun


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## vspinkgrl

Carlchurchill said:


> to get a brief inclination into what nightmares your husband is having over this go onto youporn.com or redtube and search for 'cfnm'
> 
> Im not saying u would do anything, but in a group setting with drink involved and some peer pressure, who knows...


I've seen/heard the horror stories. Yuck is all I can say to that. Plus I've never been one to accept being drunk as an excuse to act like an animal. If a guys wife is up there putting the strippers privates in her mouth, or going backstage for some "personal time", believe me, it wasn't the alcohol. Also, I don't take peer pressure as a real thing after like, high school. Hubby gives me way more credit than that...Thank God.

Don't know it its still on due to scheduling issues, but I hope its fun if I do end up going


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## DontTakeTheGirl

Well I hope it works out for you.


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## Entropy3000

vspinkgrl said:


> I've seen/heard the horror stories. Yuck is all I can say to that. *Plus I've never been one to accept being drunk as an excuse to act like an animal.* If a guys wife is up there putting the strippers privates in her mouth, or going backstage for some "personal time", believe me, *it wasn't the alcohol*. Also, *I don't take peer pressure as a real thing after like, high school. *Hubby gives me way more credit than that...Thank God.
> 
> Don't know it its still on due to scheduling issues, but I hope its fun if I do end up going


This is a great post.

Alcohol is no excuse. If you can't handle alcohol then don't drink so much.

Also it is amazing how many adults succumb to peer pressure. Some just use that as an excuse. I enjoy drinking with my colleagues but I am not going to do anything fundamentally against my character.

One trick the guys do is to pay for each others lap dances. Like that makes a difference. So I have told folks up front that if they buy me a lap dance I will not accept it. That the stripper can keep the money of give the lapdance to someone else.

I flat do not go to strip clubs. That said, I was with my colleagues, in another city and after the ballgames the guy driving took us to an upscale gentlemen's club. So I was not about to stay in the car. My wife had already told me that if that happened she is ok with the no touch policy. Actually pretty cool of her. Fortunately the awkwardness was not so bad as there was another colleague with the same boundaries. So I nursed some drinks and watched the pole dancing and redirected the strippers. Pole dancing is serious physical effort. Impressive.

Anyway, I am really not into chatting up these women as it is like discussing cars with a car salesman. I am very up for a conversation with someone who actually wants to have it. It is just not fun for me. Sure I like looking at mostly naked women but it loses something in this context. Maybe the dead eyes.

When colleagues are in town I always drive myself.


----------



## Tall Average Guy

Entropy3000 said:


> I flat do not go to strip clubs. That said, I was with my colleagues, in another city and after the ballgames the guy driving took us to an upscale gentlemen's club. So I was not about to stay in the car. My wife had already told me that if that happened she is ok with the no touch policy. Actually pretty cool of her. Fortunately the awkwardness was not so bad as there was another colleague with the same boundaries. So I nursed some drinks and watched the pole dancing and redirected the strippers. Pole dancing is serious physical effort. Impressive.


This is me the last time I visited one. Wife and I agreed ahead of time what the boundaries were - look but do not touch. 



> Anyway, I am really not into chatting up these women as it is like discussing cars with a car salesman. I am very up for a conversation with someone who actually wants to have it. It is just not fun for me. Sure I like looking at mostly naked women but it loses something in this context. Maybe the dead eyes.


The oddest thing was at that visit I had a great chat with one of the women. She sat down next to me and half-heartedly tried to interest me in more. When I declined, she looked relieved and we just talked. Ended up chatting a lot about the business model of the clun, how she did on a given night, what type of practice she did for the pole dancing, golf (she was just learning while I was there for a golf bachelor party) and running. She seemed like a nice enough kid and it was funny to see her get animated over something she really liked (in this case the golf). Turned out she was just looking for a chance to rest her feet before she was due up on stage.

In some ways, this bothered my wife more than anything. She could not put her finger on why, but perhaps because it was me getting to actually know the woman a bit. Looking to do another golf weekend, but I will not go to the club this time. Once very ten years is more than enough.


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## ATC529R

I was in the stripper crowd in my early 20's......

nothing good can come of it. You'd be amazed at what goes on backstage ..on the bus etc......


----------



## JCD

Guess what? Few people plans on being a cheater or on things going too far.

They just do. 'The Spark' is real. It happens.

But this has become a point of justice for the OP. Hell or high water (provided her girls can come) she has a point to make and she'll make it.

She is playing it breezy but it's still there. And on an equity standpoint, who can say her nay?

I wonder what level of emotional/marital damage she would accept to make her point? If we could measure marital damage, would she accept a 10% hit to win her point? Twenty percent?

It is the mental movies and doubt which is the killer in this situation.


----------



## ATC529R

JCD said:


> Guess what? Few people plans on being a cheater or on things going too far.
> 
> They just do. 'The Spark' is real. It happens.
> 
> But this has become a point of justice for the OP. Hell or high water (provided her girls can come) she has a point to make and she'll make it.
> 
> She is playing it breezy but it's still there. And on an equity standpoint, who can say her nay?
> 
> I wonder what level of emotional/marital damage she would accept to make her point? If we could measure marital damage, would she accept a 10% hit to win her point? Twenty percent?
> 
> It is the mental movies and doubt which is the killer in this situation.


and you know what?

when they get tag teamed backstage they sure as hell don't admit it.


----------



## MissAsh

It seems like in the beginning, he didn't really consider the idea that you might actually go to a male strip club one day. Now he's like, oh damn, she's going.

I don't mind if my guy goes to a strip club as long as there is no touching. He has been to one twice since we have been together (and that was only because he was friends with a guy whose girlfriend worked there). Before he went, I told him I didn't mind but no lapdances or touching of any kind on either the stripper's or his action. He said ok to that. 

My ex roommate was a stripper and she told me all the ins and outs and I didn't like to hear a lot of it. Strippers don't always follow the rules and neither do customers. And you'll be surprised at what a money hungry stripper will do for potential extra cash, just saying.

I don't think I would be comfortable if my guy went there regularly. It's ok to go there for an occasion but it's when your dude gets acquainted with the strippers well is when the trouble tends to happen.


----------



## vspinkgrl

I feel sorry for the men here who have had a woman do something with strippers or lead them to not trust women in stripper situation. 
I'm not accepting any "marital damage"..I think I've made it quite clear that its not going to kill me not to go. I just WANT TO BE TREATED FAIRLY. Sad, that equals cheating to some. 
Hubby and I have come an agreement, I'm glad to say. Very happy we are not losing sleep over the suspicion of drunken stripper sex acts


----------



## Entropy3000

Tall Average Guy said:


> This is me the last time I visited one. Wife and I agreed ahead of time what the boundaries were - look but do not touch.
> 
> 
> 
> The oddest thing was at that visit I had a great chat with one of the women. She sat down next to me and half-heartedly tried to interest me in more. When I declined, she looked relieved and we just talked. Ended up chatting a lot about the business model of the clun, how she did on a given night, what type of practice she did for the pole dancing, golf (she was just learning while I was there for a golf bachelor party) and running. She seemed like a nice enough kid and it was funny to see her get animated over something she really liked (in this case the golf). Turned out she was just looking for a chance to rest her feet before she was due up on stage.
> 
> In some ways, this bothered my wife more than anything. She could not put her finger on why, but perhaps because it was me getting to actually know the woman a bit. Looking to do another golf weekend, but I will not go to the club this time. Once very ten years is more than enough.


LOL. Oh I am sure in that context one could have a conversation I suppose.

Indeed it is very understandable why your wife was more concerened here.

In fact chating up a stripper pales in comparison to what I elluded to, have a mtually satifying conversation with a women in a social setting. Now don't get me wrong, ther eis nothing wrong with people chatting. My point is that it is real. Not fake. This is how people connect and it is more rsiky to be chatting up the ladies on a business trip than a stripper. Again not saying don't talk to srangers but essentailly this is how people meet and connect. 

My kryptonite with women is a reasonable good looking women who can engage with me in a conversation. I am more likely to be interested in them than anyone else. Knowing this helps me keep it real.


----------



## Entropy3000

MissAsh said:


> It seems like in the beginning, he didn't really consider the idea that you might actually go to a male strip club one day. Now he's like, oh damn, she's going.
> 
> I don't mind if my guy goes to a strip club as long as there is no touching. He has been to one twice since we have been together (and that was only because he was friends with a guy whose girlfriend worked there). Before he went, I told him I didn't mind but no lapdances or touching of any kind on either the stripper's or his action. He said ok to that.
> 
> My ex roommate was a stripper and she told me all the ins and outs and I didn't like to hear a lot of it. Strippers don't always follow the rules and neither do customers. And you'll be surprised at what a money hungry stripper will do for potential extra cash, just saying.
> 
> I don't think I would be comfortable if my guy went there regularly. It's ok to go there for an occasion but it's when your dude gets acquainted with the strippers well is when the trouble tends to happen.


Yes. On the male side it is a double whammy. The men want the money but most really want the sex too.


----------



## JCD

vspinkgrl said:


> I feel sorry for the men here who have had a woman do something with strippers or lead them to not trust women in stripper situation.
> I'm not accepting any "marital damage"..I think I've made it quite clear that its not going to kill me not to go. I just WANT TO BE TREATED FAIRLY. Sad, that equals cheating to some.
> Hubby and I have come an agreement, I'm glad to say. Very happy we are not losing sleep over the suspicion of drunken stripper sex acts


That doesn't mean cheating. It means marital damage to make a point.

I'm glad you were able to hammer out a compromise (and I hope by hammer, you didn't arbitrarily make a decision and force him into it).

You were, I note, vague on the details of said compromise.

And I agree with the treated fairly. He shouldn't go either.

I went to three....in my life. Bored bored bored. Since I won't sleep with them, and I know they won't sleep with me without a huge cash infusion, that sexual thrill is missing.

But get me into a conversation with one...I see what entropy means.


----------



## Entropy3000

The ultra tame stuff Thunder Down Under


----------



## vspinkgrl

The agreement is, I will be going. Just as he exercised his right, so shall I. There will be no marital damage, because its a mutual thing.

I didn't force anything upon him, just spoke to him clearly about the clear double standard that is presented and questioning what the real problem was. Which turned out to be what I suspected..resistance to change.


----------



## Tony55

vspinkgrl said:


> We have gone before and he has gone alone and it never caused a disagreement or suspicions. I really don't care if he goes, but I'd like the same respect.


Neither of you are gaining respect by putting yourselves in public places, consuming alcohol, and watching people strip. You both lose. You lose publicly and personally. You're both knocking a chip out of that, oh so sacred, thing you call marriage; this is already indicated in your 'couldn't care less' attitude over him watching girls strip. Keep chipping, you'll bust through soon enough. Good luck.

T


----------



## vspinkgrl

Tony55 said:


> Neither of you are gaining respect by putting yourselves in public places, consuming alcohol, and watching people strip. You both lose. You lose publicly and personally. You're both knocking a chip out of that, oh so sacred, thing you call marriage; this is already indicated in your 'couldn't care less' attitude over him watching girls strip. Keep chipping, you'll bust through soon enough. Good luck.
> 
> T


Not sure where you pulled that from, but ok. :scratchhead:

I couldn't care less, its not a deal breaker to me. I'm secure enough with myself to look at it for what it is...entertainment. He is not frequenting the strip club every weekend, every month or even every 6 months. We have no sexual issues. Our sex life is great, I don't have to put a pole in the bedroom and swing around it for him to get aroused and I never question is he wants to bang or marry a stripper. That is very low on my totem pole of giving a damn, sorry.

My husband isn't some stifled up old man who should have to tell his friends he can't attend a bachelor party or outing because my wife is "worried about the strippers and me" If I felt like I couldn't trust him there, there are many other issues to address. There are bigger hurdles to jump than a strip club in marriage.

If your a religious person, than hey by all means..continue to judge. But saying someone's marriage will crumble over something so juvenile makes you just that. 

Thanks all for the advice.


----------



## Tony55

vspinkgrl said:


> Not sure where you pulled that from, but ok.
> I couldn't care less, its not a deal breaker to me. I'm secure enough with myself to look at it for what it is...entertainment.
> If your a religious person, than hey by all means..continue to judge. But saying someone's marriage will crumble over something so juvenile makes you just that.


It came from this...

I asked him why and he said *"Its not that you want to go, it where your heading that I don't like"*...
As far as the jealousy thing goes, now I feel like I've left it in the past and as far as him it all looks good on paper but when it could materialize *he still harbors insecure feelings*.
We have attended many strip clubs as a couple though.
I enjoy going to the strip club with my husband, I don't think it should be looked down upon just because your married.



> Once again, neither one of us care about the nudity of the place.


Of course you don't, neither of you care about those cute nude girls up there on stage.



> I just WANT TO BE TREATED FAIRLY.


Yet I never read that you invited him to go with you.


I'm not religious, nor am I judging, I'm just pointing out the obvious outcome from chipping away at the marital bond.

T


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## DontTakeTheGirl

It sounds to me like this is going to end badly.


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