# Need Some Help



## NBC (Nov 3, 2011)

I have been happily married for 20 years. Since August I have been bothered by anxiety issues. I have been obsessing over things that happen over 25 years ago. I have also tried to be a better husband, more affectionate and helpful to my wife but I think I have gotton carried away with it. I have also done the complete opposite and said some really stupid things to my wife about our relationship. She says I have been acting "wierd" so, when I hear that my anxiety ramps up. I feel like im on a merry-go-round and I can't get off. How do I repair things with my wife? I have been trying to stay out of her way, not smother her, trying to be myself but inside I am a nervous wreck. There is a lot of tension between us. I think if I say I should maybe talk with a doctor that will really makes things worse. Please help.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Go see a doctor. Tell the doctor everything. Also, let your wife know your are going. That will make her smile and be happy for you.


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

Why are you all of a sudden obsessing over things from 25 years ago right now? Do you think something triggered this? Have you experienced any recent trauma? Are you experiencing an incredible amount of stress right now?


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## NBC (Nov 3, 2011)

We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. We have been together 24 years. I think a 20th anniversaery for anything is a big deal. I started to reminisce about how, where we met, the exsiting early days of our relationship. It brought back happy memories and some memories that were not so great. We met right after she graduated college. During her college years she enjoyed smoking pot. I do not like smoking pot. She has not touched the stuff for 24 years but I keep obsessing about how much she smoked BEFORE I even knew her. I feel like she was hurting herself. I know this a minor thing but I don't understand why my mind keeps going over, and over,and over it. What is wrong with me? :scratchhead:


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

I wonder if reading some things on forgiveness would be helpful. Here are a couple of things I've written about forgiveness:

Forgiveness in Marriage | Improve My Marriage
(There will also be another post on forgiveness from this blog that will be posted tomorrow (Saturday) morning.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/34071-what-forgiveness-not.html


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