# The OM or OW does anyone have to deal with them ?



## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Just wondering has a spouse left you for someone else and now you have to or eventually had to deal with them as a couple ?

Was anyone able to pull this off ?

My quick story.. Ex left me for someone else and they are pretty much together since they cheated in 2012..

I do not badmouth my Ex wife to the kids but I really don't have anything nice to say about the Other Man.. I do not ever seeing myself dealing with them, let alone my Ex wife on anything related to my kids.. 

My Ex has never come to me to fix or apologize about what she has done.. It pretty much is, I did what I did.. Too bad, deal with it and accept it..

I cannot and will not.. I expressed to her talking it over with me will go a long way and I even admitted that I would be put in a position of having to making it work because she extended a olive branch.. But she refuses because she needs to show the OM some sort of loyalty, even at the cost of her own kids.. 

We barely ever speak and I pretty much do what I need with my boys and the Ex wife is a side bar of Oh, BTW when possible. 

So I am wondering if anyone does deal with them and has found a way to make it manageable.

It is more a concern for family court reasons more than anything else if anyone is wondering and looking to ask the simple question, "*Why would you want to make it manageable."*


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

So, are the two of you not co-parenting then? Has she just abandoned your boys?? Since the two of you had kids together, you are going to have to come to terms with having to deal with her, unfortunately. The best thing you can do is zero contact unless there is something regarding your children. Remind yourself that they are both lousy pieces of sh!t who deserve each other, they have done others a favor by not being out there in the dating pool. Look at having to deal with her as a business transaction from here on, because that is pretty much what it is. Helps you be detached. 

That was what I had to do, even though my last XH and I dont have kids so no more need for contact. I had to help myself deal with what he did and him being with her over me. They are both such horrible, disgusting people that they cant be with anyone else, and thank goodness they remarried so that other unsuspecting, innocent people wont be subjected to them!


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

YEP! I coparent with the exwife who moved her OM in as soon as she could. My daughter and I, having been the victim of a perfect performance for more than a year prior to my being informed there was something wrong, and divorce was imminent, had no idea how life was going to completely change in the coming months. 
Checking the phone bills, showed a long 2 year involvement with OM#2, who ultimately didn't want anything more from her, so she settled on OM#1. 
He currently lives in the marital home that I and my ex lived in for more than 13 years. Our daughter lives there every other week, and so, there exists over there a "façade" of a family, created by the utter destruction of trust, his willingness to involve himself with a married woman, and her contempt for integrity. 

After 4 years, I have very VERY little contact with the ex. Our daughter doesn't cause a lot of problems, so there is really no real "need" for communication, unless it has to do with school issues, or health matters.
Her new husband, the mooching, loser that he is, is now a "male figure" in my daughter's life, and it amazes me that her mom could pick someone so completely devoid of what it takes to be a real man. 
I have absolutely nothing to do with him. Aside from merely maintaining the peace, (not going after him with a baseball bat), it works for me. Why should I? This guy gets to devote the later years of his life to a woman whose integrity is questionable! Enjoy!!!

You don't have to have anything to do with the OM. It doesn't matter if the ex is married to him now or not. FK him! and HER for that matter. Keep it and demand that it remain, communication related only to the children..


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## TheGoodGuy (Apr 22, 2013)

3Xnocharm said:


> I had to help myself deal with what he did and him being with her over me. They are both such horrible, disgusting people that they cant be with anyone else, and *thank goodness they remarried so that other unsuspecting, innocent people wont be subjected* to them!


Umm, that didn't stop them while you were married did it? **tongue in cheek**

Luckily I do not have to deal with the OM. They broke up as predicted a couple of months after I exposed them, but by that time too much water was under the bridge and I had already detached to care much. Divorce was almost done at that point. She found another loser after the D was final but I don't consider him OM2 since we were officially divorced at that time.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

TheGoodGuy said:


> Umm, that didn't stop them while you were married did it? **tongue in cheek**


HA! Yes you're right!


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