# Ah, a place for me!



## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

I didn't even notice this particular forum until just now. Of course, I've been very busy and haven't been as regular on TAM as I used to. I had a busy summer laying some groundwork for a job in case my current position disappeared; hasn't happened this year and my ground work is good for next year, too. Plus I've started grad school and that's keeping me busy what with working full time. 

Life has been interesting and full of good things since I made the very painful decision to end my marriage (of 20 years). I have felt guilty, but other than that, nothing negative. I'm amazed to have discovered how disconnected I truly was from my former h--I worried I *might* have regrets, but never have in the nearly 2 years since I made the decision. My ex has done ok--not at first, but gradually. And our kids are doing really well. The ex and I made an agreement not to do or say anything that might make them feel divided loyalties, and we've stuck to it. We've all been in the same house this month--ex needed a place to stay and I was willing to share the house, although I'm gone to my other place on "his" days with the kids. We are "nesting," which means the kids stay in the house all the time and their dad and I take turns in the house with them, while we each have our own places (small and inexpensive) for when it is not our time with the kids. This seems to have helped a lot, and we manage to get along ok when in the house at the same time--we aren't together much b/c we can be in different rooms and on different floors. I had to ask him to respect my space on my days--the kitchen, esp., and not changing the thermostat--but it was done respectfully and responded to respectfully. 

Although I initiated the divorce, the ex is the one who has been dating. He moved in with another woman before our final order was given--about 2-3 weeks after he met her. They planned to get married in July (he moved in around last Xmas and took the kids on his days for several months), but he called it off and broke up with her, so things have settled back down. I've registered on some online dating sites and have had respectable amount of interest, but very few meet and greets. I've initiated all the ones that have happened, too. Otherwise, guys just seem to email and then disappear, and I don't really enjoy the whole email thing, esp. with someone I don't know. But I've walked away from the ones I've met--no chemistry. So, I keep busy with all the things I like to do and have to do--more than enough, really!! But I would like to have sex again before I die! :smthumbup:

Life is such an adventure. I love being so contented in each moment and always looking forward to what tomorrow may bring. I thank God for every day and for my 3 precious children. I have my worries--financial, mostly, since I have to take out student loans again. On the other hand, I can anticipate changing jobs in 2 years to a position that pays better, and I won't be paying tuition for my son after next year. So it isn't all bad. 

OK, so that's my post-divorce update. I will be interested to hear what others have to say, and to see how my own experience unfolds.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

sisters359 said:


> I didn't even notice this particular forum until just now. Of course, I've been very busy and haven't been as regular on TAM as I used to. I had a busy summer laying some groundwork for a job in case my current position disappeared; hasn't happened this year and my ground work is good for next year, too. Plus I've started grad school and that's keeping me busy what with working full time.
> 
> Life has been interesting and full of good things since I made the very painful decision to end my marriage (of 20 years). I have felt guilty, but other than that, nothing negative. I'm amazed to have discovered how disconnected I truly was from my former h--I worried I *might* have regrets, but never have in the nearly 2 years since I made the decision. My ex has done ok--not at first, but gradually. And our kids are doing really well. The ex and I made an agreement not to do or say anything that might make them feel divided loyalties, and we've stuck to it. We've all been in the same house this month--ex needed a place to stay and I was willing to share the house, although I'm gone to my other place on "his" days with the kids. We are "nesting," which means the kids stay in the house all the time and their dad and I take turns in the house with them, while we each have our own places (small and inexpensive) for when it is not our time with the kids. This seems to have helped a lot, and we manage to get along ok when in the house at the same time--we aren't together much b/c we can be in different rooms and on different floors. I had to ask him to respect my space on my days--the kitchen, esp., and not changing the thermostat--but it was done respectfully and responded to respectfully.
> 
> ...


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