# He dumped me out of nowhere



## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

I had a crush on this coworker since January, and we would flirt and text occasionally. He showed interest but I thought he couldn’t ask me out because he is my lead (he’s not a supervisor, just a lead that has no influence on me at all).

Anyway, I asked him out on a date two weeks ago and he said yes. The date was perfect! He’s such a gentleman, showed a lot of interest, talked about doing things together, no red flags at all. We spent 5 hours together on that Saturday, and it was nice and had a good flow because we already knew each other.

Then on the following Tuesday he texted me and we started a conversation, and on Wednesday he asked me out. We went on another date on that Friday and it was even better! We spent 6 hours together and had a lot of fun. We did make out a lot and when things were getting too hot, I told him that I wouldn’t have sex soon because sex is a big deal to me and I would rather to get to know him better. He was very sweet and understanding about it.

Then after that, we chatted a little bit at work here and there, nothing big. Then on Wednesday I invited him to our colleagues birthday party (that’s happening today, Saturday) and he said he didn’t know if he could come but would let me know. Note the fact that the both of us already spent time with this group of friends.

Then on Thursday night I got this text “Hey I just wanted to set a couple things straight between us. I do like hanging out with you, but I don’t think that I’m in a place right now to be in a relationship. I know that how I may have acted might not seem that way, but I think it’s better to be honest and tell you how I’m really feeling. Hope this isn’t too sudden.”

Then I replied to him saying that I totally understood because we did only go out on 2 dates and were still getting to know each other. So I wasn’t expecting to be in a relationship with him so soon.
Then I proceeded to ask if he thinks we shouldn’t hang out anymore or if he still wants to hang out but aren’t ready for a relationship yet.

No answer, he straight out left me on read. I have no idea why. The time we spent together was so great and he showed so much interest. Could it be the fact that I didn’t want to have sex with him soon? I’m so confused.

I will see him at work on Sunday and I plan to treat him normally and friendly like nothing happened.

Can any more experienced mind tell me what went wrong? I know it was only 2 dates, but I liked him for awhile and that kind of stings.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

I'm sorry it didn't work out as you liked. Lots of relationships don't work out, and often the person who ended it isn't sure why. People often behave irrationally in relationships, in which case seeking a rational explanation will come up empty. Best not to drive yourself crazy, be glad for the fun parts and better luck next time.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

He would have gladly accepted the sex. 

Yes, he has friend-zoned you. 

He would have been happy being that casual user of your curly-furry pet.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

You said you weren't ready for sex and he wasn't ready for no sex...


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

So do you all think he just wanted to be casual then? Didn’t like me enough to get emotions invested?


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Nina0 said:


> So do you all think he just wanted to be casual then? Didn’t like me enough to get emotions invested?


Seems to me he wanted a casual relationship with casual sex, yes...


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Nina0 said:


> So do you all think he just wanted to be casual then? Didn’t like me enough to get emotions invested?


What are your approximate ages? 

At my age if I spent 11 hours with a woman and she’s not interested in sex anytime soon then my interpretation would be that she’s not what I’m looking for.

25 years ago, no problem.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

ccpowerslave said:


> What are your approximate ages?
> 
> At my age if I spent 11 hours with a woman and she’s not interested in sex anytime soon then my interpretation would be that she’s not what I’m looking for.
> 
> 25 years ago, no problem.


We are 23. But also, I didn’t want to have sex with him because I was interested on getting to know him better. I didn’t want a casual hook up because I already liked him. And it would hurt me if we hooked up and he left me. So I think if his intentions at all was to also get to know me better, then he would have waited until I was ready.
Am I so wrong for not wanting to have sex right away?


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

You don’t say what age you are but I’m thinking mid to late twenties. If someone asked me out when I was younger I would assume sex was on the table, possibly on the first date. 
You had a second date and told him sex wasn’t going to happen for a while and he was nice about it and accepted your decision. In his mind he had already moved on.

Inviting him to a colleagues birthday party was a mistake. 
This is how he sees it. He’s working in an environment where there are plenty of attractive women, some of which will be open to a sexual relationship after one or two dates. If he accompanied you to the party it would be like announcing to the entire firm that you and him are an item and therefore he wouldn’t be able to pursue anyone else in the company. 
You were crushing on him and possibly dreaming about a long term relationship. He wasn’t and this is not his fault. He’s a single guy who wants sex, you aren’t interested so he moved on. 
I’m sorry if you think I’m being blunt but I’m speaking from experience.


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Nina0 said:


> Am I so wrong for not wanting to have sex right away?


No, you were not wrong. You were wise.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Nina0 said:


> Am I so wrong for not wanting to have sex right away?


Not at all. But obviously, he had different ideas. Or maybe, sex didn't matter. Maybe he just didn't want a serious relationship.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Nina0 said:


> We are 23. But also, I didn’t want to have sex with him because I was interested on getting to know him better. I didn’t want a casual hook up because I already liked him. And it would hurt me if we hooked up and he left me. So I think if his intentions at all was to also get to know me better, then he would have waited until I was ready.
> Am I so wrong for not wanting to have sex right away?


It’s not wrong at all!

At that age with his behavior I would guess maybe he is looking for something casual. At that age I was already looking for a wife, in fact I think I started dating my wife when I was 23.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> You don’t say what age you are but I’m thinking mid to late twenties. If someone asked me out when I was younger I would assume sex was on the table, possibly on the first date.
> You had a second date and told him sex wasn’t going to happen for a while and he was nice about it and accepted your decision. In his mind he had already moved on.
> 
> Inviting him to a colleagues birthday party was a mistake.
> ...





Andy1001 said:


> You don’t say what age you are but I’m thinking mid to late twenties. If someone asked me out when I was younger I would assume sex was on the table, possibly on the first date.
> You had a second date and told him sex wasn’t going to happen for a while and he was nice about it and accepted your decision. In his mind he had already moved on.
> 
> Inviting him to a colleagues birthday party was a mistake.
> ...


I understand! But like, if he also liked me he would’ve waited right? We were going to get intimate, but not right away. Me having sex with him wouldn’t magically make him want to be in a serious relationship with me, right?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

If I recall correctly from your earlier threads, you’re around 30 but date guys in their early 20’s. That could be part of the problem.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

ccpowerslave said:


> It’s not wrong at all!
> 
> At that age with his behavior I would guess maybe he is looking for something casual. At that age I was already looking for a wife, in fact I think I started dating my wife when I was 23.


I started dating my wife at 22, but I wasn't looking for marriage. It happened 5 years later.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Nina, take my word for it kid, find you a guy who is looking for more than an easy piece of azz You may like this cat but your expectations are far greater than what he’s can deliver


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Openminded said:


> If I recall correctly from your earlier threads, you’re around 30 but date guys in their early 20’s. That could be part of the problem.


She is 23.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> What are your approximate ages?
> 
> *At my age if I spent 11 hours with a woman and she’s not interested in sex anytime soon then my interpretation would be that she’s not what I’m looking for.*
> 
> 25 years ago, no problem.


I could understand that attitude if you had one foot on a banana peel. 11 hours, really?


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## minimalME (Jan 3, 2012)

Blondilocks said:


> 11 hours, really?


Yes. This is why I stopped 'dating'.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

In Absentia said:


> She is 23.


Read her earlier threads.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> I could understand that attitude if you had one foot on a banana peel. 11 hours, really?


More like two long dates. Am I nuts here?


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

ccpowerslave said:


> More like two long dates. Am I nuts here?


We're different generations. My response would be to come back when you've grown up. Two dates wouldn't even earn you access to my front door.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Openminded said:


> Read her earlier threads.


Why would she be lying about her age?


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

Nina0 said:


> We are 23.


Huh? In all your other threads, you are 29 and with 23yo men for a few dates, and you ask why it didn’t work out. Or you met your crush at 23 and stayed with him for 6 years so that makes you 29. Soooo... what’s up with your age?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

In Absentia said:


> Why would she be lying about her age?


Maybe a typo in the earlier threads or now. Maybe … whatever.

I’m going with the earlier threads being the correct age. You can obviously pick which you want to be right.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Openminded said:


> If I recall correctly from your earlier threads, you’re around 30 but date guys in their early 20’s. That could be part of the problem.


Yeah....in another thread you mentioned dating a guy when you were 23 and said you spent 6 years with him and at that point had been single for 9 months.

So how old are you? If you are indeed around 30 you need to find a guy your own age. A 23 year old is looking for sex....particularly one you had to ask out.

If he was that interested he would've pursued you, but you made it easy so he gave it a shot. Once sex was off the table he looked elsewhere.

FYI, you did the right thing by avoiding sex. Find a guy who's interested in something longer term and willing to wait a bit.

Bf and I (55 and 47) spent a month or two getting to know each other before we had sex. It's been almost 2 1/2 years and we have regulat sex now, but I'm happy we waited a bit.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

I didn’t think my age would be a big deal that’s why I just simplified “we are 23”. I’m in college where I’m only around guys younger than me. And I do look really young and get along with young people pretty well so I was just simplifying the situation so you guys could focus on what’s the real issue.

And I do agree with all the answers: he was just looking for something casual.
he dated a girl for 3 years and have been single for 1 and a half years so I do understand why he would want to have a casual thing now. But he told me that this was his first date after his girlfriend dumped him. He told me that our interactions made him feel good and it was an easy flow. I don’t know, I gave it a shot because maybe he was into it for real. Apparently he wasn’t so I’ll move on.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Nina0 said:


> We are 23. But also, I didn’t want to have sex with him because I was interested on getting to know him better. I didn’t want a casual hook up because I already liked him. And it would hurt me if we hooked up and he left me. So I think if his intentions at all was to also get to know me better, then he would have waited until I was ready.
> Am I so wrong for not wanting to have sex right away?


Oh yes, so wrong, it would be.

If you clanked right away, but did not click, later on, _Oh, My._

This is your co-worker, he would see you everyday.

Every day, his eyes would run up and down you, knowing he had you.

.............................................................................

Don't poop in your own backyard, unless you are (Oh' so sure) that no one will ever know.

It may be, that he will never blab, but don't count on it.

As mentioned, his eyes will do he telling, his memory will count your hidden freckles, every time you walk near him.

Then again, you will do the same!!


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

Nina0 said:


> I had a crush on this coworker since January, and we would flirt and text occasionally. He showed interest but I thought he couldn’t ask me out because he is my lead (he’s not a supervisor, just a lead that has no influence on me at all).
> 
> Anyway, I asked him out on a date two weeks ago and he said yes. The date was perfect! He’s such a gentleman, showed a lot of interest, talked about doing things together, no red flags at all. We spent 5 hours together on that Saturday, and it was nice and had a good flow because we already knew each other.
> 
> ...


Sounds like he just wasn't into you the way you were with him. At least he was up front about it. How well do you know this guy? Probably not as well as you think.It's a big world with lots of people this guy wasn't the one at this time. Such as life.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

But you're not 23....you're 30 and that is a big deal. 23 to 30 is a big difference.

The fact that you think it doesn't matter at all is troubling.

Are you saying you haven't changed at all since 23? At what point DOES It matter? When you're 40 still chasing 23 year olds?

This gut is at a different point in life. Find men your age.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Nina0 said:


> I understand! But like, if he also liked me he would’ve waited right? We were going to get intimate, but not right away. Me having sex with him wouldn’t magically make him want to be in a serious relationship with me, right?


You can’t predict men based on women’s standards. 

He may have liked you to one degree or another, but if he was wanting a hook up, but not a full courting process for a serious relationship, then he was actually in the right for not continuing and for letting you know he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship.

At 23 a guy shouldn’t be getting bogged down in a serious, committed relationship and at 30 a woman shouldn’t be wasting her pretty on guys that only want to hook up. 

Neither of you were in the wrong her, simply not looking for the same thing. 

This is why we date. Dating is spending some time with someone to see if their goals and agendas and objectives match with yours and to see if you are compatible with each other.

You two weren’t a match. 

You did the right thing by setting boundaries and stating your purpose and criteria.

He did the right by respecting your boundaries but also in being honest with you that he doesn’t want a serious relationship or long courting process. 

There is no foul here. This is simply a near-miss and dead end. Walk away and try again with someone else.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

I really don’t understand the op’s premise here. She asked the guy out, he thought she was up for a casual relationship but she wanted more so he politely told her he wasn’t interested. Also the age thing is a lot more important than she thinks no matter how young she looks. 
At twenty three I never went more than a week without having sex. At twenty seven I was happy to court my now wife for a couple of months before we slept together.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

lifeistooshort said:


> But you're not 23....you're 30 and that is a big deal. 23 to 30 is a big difference.
> 
> The fact that you think it doesn't matter at all is troubling.
> 
> ...


Dude I’m not chasing younger guys. I literally only meet them because I’m in college and there’s no one else around.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Yes, age does matter. You’re a 30 year old woman who keeps trying to create relationships with 23 year old guys. You’re not on the same page. If you can’t find someone your age who cares about what you care about then maybe you should take a break until you’ve finished college.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> I really don’t understand the op’s premise here. She asked the guy out, he thought she was up for a casual relationship but she wanted more so he politely told her he wasn’t interested. Also the age thing is a lot more important than she thinks no matter how young she looks.
> At twenty three I never went more than a week without having sex. At twenty seven I was happy to court my now wife for a couple of months before we slept together.


I have never been like that. I’ve always waited to get to know a guy better before having sex. Even when I was 20.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

Openminded said:


> Yes, age does matter. You’re a 30 year old woman who keeps trying to create relationships with 23 year old guys. You’re not on the same page. If you can’t find someone your age who cares about what you care about then maybe you should take a break until you’ve finished college.


But I don’t understand... there are lots of people that are so young around me that are in a serious relationship. I’m not even joking. Everyone at my college seems to be in a serious relationship and they are all less than 23.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Nina0 said:


> We are 23. But also, I didn’t want to have sex with him because I was interested on getting to know him better. I didn’t want a casual hook up because I already liked him. And it would hurt me if we hooked up and he left me. So I think if his intentions at all was to also get to know me better, then he would have waited until I was ready.
> Am I so wrong for not wanting to have sex right away?


Of course you are not wrong, it was just 2 dates! It's always a good thing to hold off on sex until you get to know the person better and have a strong relationship. If you had had sex then he would have probably dumped you anyway as that seems to be all he cares about. 
Be thankful that you did the right thing and don't have to have regrets about having sex too soon. 
I know women who ended relationships due to the guy pressuring them for sex after just a few dates, men like that aren't worth it. 
Wait for a good guy.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

I’m also a hopeless romantic! I’ve always been since I was very young.
Someone told me because of that I get crushes and let the feelings develop. So they told me to notice when I’m starting to have a crush on someone to ask them out right away, because then I won’t let the feelings develop. So then if things so south it won’t bug me too much. 

What do you think of this advice? 

Also, I don’t do dating app. I find extremely boring to talk to guys I don’t even know. I really like to meet someone organically and slowly develop a crush and hope that things will go well.
I think that’s how people used to meet before my generation. (I meant people used to meet without dating apps before my generation)


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Nina0 said:


> But I don’t understand... there are lots of people that are so young around me that are in a serious relationship. I’m not even joking. Everyone at my college seems to be in a serious relationship and they are all less than 23.


That’s not common for that generation (I have grandchildren around that age and they and their friends all want casual, not a relationship).

The only place I’m aware of where that might still be the case is the military — and maybe at very conservative colleges.

Unfortunately, being a hopeless romantic isn’t likely to serve you well with guys in their early 20’s these days. For my generation (way before yours), it sometimes worked. Your generation, not so much


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

Openminded said:


> That’s not common for that generation (I have grandchildren around that age and they and their friends all want casual, not a relationship).
> 
> The only place I’m aware of where that might still be the case is the military — and maybe at very conservative colleges.
> 
> Unfortunately, being a hopeless romantic isn’t likely to serve you well with guys in their early 20’s these days. For my generation (way before yours), it sometimes worked. Your generation, not so much


I meant people used to meet organically (without dating apps) before my generation and that’s what I like.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

And I mean... even he dated for 3 years at such young age (from 18 to 21). So I don’t think that every guy is afraid of commitment in the early 20’s. Right?


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## NTA (Mar 28, 2021)

When we were both in 20s, a guy with whom I had summer fling told me that men think about sex, well, an enormous number of times each day. That was ok. I was game and don't regret. I had someone in Sweden to visit the next summer.

Here are some notes:

1. Both your dates, 5 and 6 hours long, were in my estimation too long. What were you two doing on the date. but also remember, leave them wanting more.
2.I've read that men prefer to pursue. But sometimes, they would like signals that you will welcome it. I see that you asked him out. I was once dating a nerdy guy who admitted that he didn't get much play but still preferred to initiate.. So go figure.
3. I have asked guys out in my past and many still offered to pay. Much has been written about sharing the cost of dating, but guys who are interested will most definitely pay for the first date, even if the women initiated.
4. It's not wise to date your coworkers although I am aware of a few married couples who started that way. I would then caution how you do it. They kept everything quiet for a long time and then very consciously went public with their relationship. Showing up with this guy with that "we're just pals" attitude won't change anyone's mind about what kind of relationship you two have. 
5. I accept that men want sex. A good time to say yes is when they start asking for more time and other things. Don't automatically think that because the guy isn't pushing for sex that "he respects you." Two situations that I have been in 1) I really believe that the guy was looking for a beard; 2) I was being multidated. The guy can say, at least I wasn't using you for sex. Oh dear, there's no limit on the number of times you can have sex. But you can't claim back lost time.


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## ccpowerslave (Nov 21, 2020)

Blondilocks said:


> We're different generations. My response would be to come back when you've grown up. Two dates wouldn't even earn you access to my front door.


I can be pretty damn charming though😂


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

Nina0 said:


> I meant people used to meet organically (without dating apps) before my generation and that’s what I like.


Yes, we did. I can’t imagine ever trying OLD although certainly some of my generation use it.


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## Benbutton (Oct 3, 2019)

Ha!! I've got the answer you were waiting for. You're 29, he's 23, he was thinking cougar all day long, in guy years that's a big age gap. He doesn't want anything serious with you because of your age.

Now what you should do is probably meet a guy who is about 6 years older than you. Only then will your chances improve.

And don't give me the "age shouldn't matter" BS, because in most cases it does.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Nina0 said:


> Dude I’m not chasing younger guys. I literally only meet them because I’m in college and there’s no one else around.


Dude.....you said he was a coworker, now you're claiming you're in college and absolutely nobody else beyond 23 year olds is around.

Which is it? Is he a coworker or are you in college?


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

lifeistooshort said:


> Dude.....you said he was a coworker, now you're claiming you're in college and absolutely nobody else beyond 23 year olds is around.
> 
> Which is it? Is he a coworker or are you in college?


We work in a place where they hired lots of college students because we live in a college town


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Regardless what age you are he just not into you. He would have gladly had a sexual relationship but as he stated he isn’t interested in more. 🤷🏼‍♀️


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Nina0 said:


> I had a crush on this coworker since January, and we would flirt and text occasionally. He showed interest but I thought he couldn’t ask me out because he is my lead (he’s not a supervisor, just a lead that has no influence on me at all).
> 
> Anyway, I asked him out on a date two weeks ago and he said yes. The date was perfect! He’s such a gentleman, showed a lot of interest, talked about doing things together, no red flags at all. We spent 5 hours together on that Saturday, and it was nice and had a good flow because we already knew each other.
> 
> ...


One thing everyone should learn in life, especially when it comes to dating, is to not take it personally.

In the past the overwhelming majority of women I have dated but not had a future with were still women of distinct quality, there was nothing wrong with them that made us decide not to continue dating, there's nothing wrong with us not being compatible or ready for a relationship either. Not everything has to end with a relationship, sometimes these encounters are even better short lived, sometimes there's just no future and it's best to appreciate the short term experience and not drag it on until it inevitably sours.

So please, don't look at this as something you did wrong. Know that you have done nothing wrong. Just look back at the experience with a smile, know that you had a nice time, and move on to the next one.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Nina0 said:


> I’m also a hopeless romantic! I’ve always been since I was very young.
> Someone told me because of that I get crushes and let the feelings develop. So they told me to notice when I’m starting to have a crush on someone to ask them out right away, because then I won’t let the feelings develop. So then if things so south it won’t bug me too much.
> 
> What do you think of this advice?
> ...


Then you will appreciate this song:


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## moulinyx (May 30, 2019)

As other posters said, he just didn’t want something serious. He respected that you prefer intimacy within a relationship so he made it clear that isn’t where he is at.

Just be grateful he is an honest one rather than the type to lie to get into your pants.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Nina0 said:


> And I mean... even he dated for 3 years at such young age (from 18 to 21). So I don’t think that every guy is afraid of commitment in the early 20’s. Right?


Hate to tell you this Nina but a early twenties guy is dating an older chick to get laid; period. Getting serious to them is a steady piece of puzzy they don't have to work that hard to get. He figures an older broad would be grateful to bang a young guy and when you didn't lay down with him immediately, it was a waste of his time. And lets face it, youre going after the much younger guys because its an ego trip. You want to be seen sporting around with a twenty year old. And you can do that if you'll give it up to him.


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## NTA (Mar 28, 2021)

VladDracul said:


> Hate to tell you this Nina but a early twenties guy is dating an older chick to get laid; period. Getting serious to them is a steady piece of puzzy they don't have to work that hard to get. He figures an older broad would be grateful to bang a young guy and when you didn't lay down with him immediately, it was a waste of his time. And lets face it, youre going after the much younger guys because its an ego trip. You want to be seen sporting around with a twenty year old. And you can do that if you'll give it up to him.


My first husband was 27 and I was 32 when we got married.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

RandomDude said:


> One thing everyone should learn in life, especially when it comes to dating, is to not take it personally.
> 
> In the past the overwhelming majority of women I have dated but not had a future with were still women of distinct quality, there was nothing wrong with them that made us decide not to continue dating, there's nothing wrong with us not being compatible or ready for a relationship either. Not everything has to end with a relationship, sometimes these encounters are even better short lived, sometimes there's just no future and it's best to appreciate the short term experience and not drag it on until it inevitably sours.
> 
> So please, don't look at this as something you did wrong. Know that you have done nothing wrong. Just look back at the experience with a smile, know that you had a nice time, and move on to the next one.


Thank you for the kind words. I did debate with myself if I should just sleep with guys I like. I wanted to sleep with him, but I wanted to let our thing develop before sexual intimacy. But he didn’t want that so... 
Anyway, I wish I was the kind of person who is okay with having casual sex, but I’m not and I’ve never been so maybe I’ll be single forever. I don’t think people nowadays appreciate or wait anymore.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

That's a wildly inaccurate generalization that reflects your personal experience only.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

VladDracul said:


> Hate to tell you this Nina but a early twenties guy is dating an older chick to get laid; period. Getting serious to them is a steady piece of puzzy they don't have to work that hard to get. He figures an older broad would be grateful to bang a young guy and when you didn't lay down with him immediately, it was a waste of his time. And lets face it, youre going after the much younger guys because its an ego trip. You want to be seen sporting around with a twenty year old. And you can do that if you'll give it up to him.


Oh god! Why are you being so disrespectful? Again, I’m not going after ANYONE. I’m literally around younger people than I because of where my life is at this point. I only “dated” 2 guys since May 2020. With both of them I developed a crush as our friendship progressed. I’m not going around chasing for young guys. Also.... this last one IS BOLDING at 23 and has gray hair. I look younger than him. And I’m only pointing that out to show that I’m not going around chasing for young guys.


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Nina0 said:


> Am I so wrong for not wanting to have sex right away?


No honey, you're not. Not at all.

The thing is, he's not wrong either for wanting to have it. It just means the two of you aren't compatible. That's all.



Nina0 said:


> Me having sex with him wouldn’t magically make him want to be in a serious relationship with me, right?


No, it wouldn't.


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## Trident (May 23, 2018)

Nina0 said:


> this last one IS BOLDING at 23


At least he's not _italicizing. _


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Why would you wish to want casual sex?

So you can screw men who will treat you like a piece of ass? It's no achievement to get men to screw you.

I never did casual sex either and have never had trouble finding men who wanted to focus on me. 

I have had many offers of cheap sex and I always said no. The men I have slept with were special to me and they knew it, and I was never casual sex to any. The relationships may not have worked out but none were casual.

There are men who want exclusive relationships. If you behave like a cheap piece such men will pass you up. Hold out for a guy who wants something with you.

And in the future don't ask a guy out. Men pursue women they're interested in.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

lifeistooshort said:


> Why would you wish to want casual sex?
> 
> So you can screw men who will treat you like a piece of ass? It's no achievement to get men to screw you.
> 
> ...


I understand. I always prefer if they ask me out too. I only asked him out because he is my lead and he said he was glad that I did because he wasn’t going to because he was afraid he could get in trouble with the HR.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

It's entirely possible the reason he bailed is b/c sex wasn't available before the 3rd date, but it's also possible that's not why. People bail early in relationships for all kind of reasons, a common one being panic over progression of the relationship.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

A 23 year old who gets asked out by a 30 year old is thinking cougar sex not a relationship? There may be a few outlier relationship with a woman that much older than the man but it is FAR from normal.

As a 30 year old , the clock on your youthfulness is on the down slope. Why waste the remaining fertile years chasing guys who will most likely want you for easy sex? Do you not want to eventually have children? Or are you going to be one of those women expecting science to pull some miracle for you when you’re in your late 30s?

A 35 to 37 year old would be the natural age range of men who will desire a serious relationship with a 30 year old. Men that age will be established and wanting a serious relationship to take to the next level of marriage and then a family.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

I think the reason is pretty simple, especially now that I know the OP's real age: the young man wasn't prepared to settle at 23. He realised this was what the OP wanted - not casual sex - and he run away...


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

In Absentia said:


> I think the reason is pretty simple, especially now that I know the OP's real age: the young man wasn't prepared to settle at 23. He realised this was what the OP wanted - not casual sex - and he run away...


Eggzachary.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

Nina0 said:


> We are 23. But also, I didn’t want to have sex with him because I was interested on getting to know him better. I didn’t want a casual hook up because I already liked him. And it would hurt me if we hooked up and he left me. So I think if his intentions at all was to also get to know me better, then he would have waited until I was ready.
> Am I so wrong for not wanting to have sex right away?


No you're not wrong, you're just not compatible. He wants one thing you want another. Neither of you is wrong.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

VladDracul said:


> Hate to tell you this Nina but a early twenties guy is dating an older chick to get laid; period. Getting serious to them is a steady piece of puzzy they don't have to work that hard to get. He figures an older broad would be grateful to bang a young guy and when you didn't lay down with him immediately, it was a waste of his time. And lets face it, youre going after the much younger guys because its an ego trip. You want to be seen sporting around with a twenty year old. And you can do that if you'll give it up to him.


A friend married his 29 y.o. GF when he was 22 and they've been happily married for decades.


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## think positive (Jun 24, 2011)

SpinyNorman said:


> I'm sorry it didn't work out as you liked. Lots of relationships don't work out, and often the person who ended it isn't sure why. People often behave irrationally in relationships, in which case seeking a rational explanation will come up empty. Best not to drive yourself crazy, be glad for the fun parts and better luck next time.


Well said. He could have commitment issues and the fact you work together complicated things and maybe he did want to have sex. The thing is is that if he wants a relationship and really likes you then he would respect your for and not dump u. 

Don't question your actions. This his choice bot yours

Work on yourself, be the best you can be and the right one will come along. . Good luck.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

jsmart said:


> A 23 year old who gets asked out by a 30 year old is thinking cougar sex not a relationship? There may be a few outlier relationship with a woman that much older than the man but it is FAR from normal.
> 
> As a 30 year old , the clock on your youthfulness is on the down slope. Why waste the remaining fertile years chasing guys who will most likely want you for easy sex? Do you not want to eventually have children? Or are you going to be one of those women expecting science to pull some miracle for you when you’re in your late 30s?
> 
> A 35 to 37 year old would be the natural age range of men who will desire a serious relationship with a 30 year old. Men that age will be established and wanting a serious relationship to take to the next level of marriage and then a family.


These are all generalities, name any age and there are men looking for action and others for a relationship. There are no shortcuts for knowing the person you're involved with. 

Personally, I trust my own judgment of the people I know over stereotypes and can't fathom anyone who doesn't.


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## rugswept (May 8, 2019)

Nina0 said:


> Can any more experienced mind tell me what went wrong? I know it was only 2 dates, but I liked him for awhile and that kind of stings.


He may be a closet player. I knew some of these. They're the somewhat friendly people you didn't know, and then "you did know". I had a friend I worked with (tech field) and he had 5-7 on the go at any one time. You don't put out by the third date, and you're out (not worth the investment and it wasn't going to be forever anyway). 

And the last two big time rakers I knew (the other one was into his 1000+ club of OW) and I thought both of them were a little goofy. 

Let him go. I know you don't want to. You do have a whole lot to give, and that stands out. Be patient.
Good Luck.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

SpinyNorman said:


> These are all generalities, name any age and there are men looking for action and others for a relationship. There are no shortcuts for knowing the person you're involved with.
> 
> Personally, I trust my own judgment of the people I know over stereotypes and can't fathom anyone who doesn't.


Generalities? An older man younger woman is natural. Sure their outliers that have a much older woman than the man. If they’re happy, more power to them.

I have a coworker that’s married to a woman 12 years older than him. He was 28 and she was 40 when they started dating. Even back then the age difference was a head scratcher, now that he’s 44 and she’s 56, the appearance difference is more pronounced. Then you have the power struggled between them. She was divorced with 2 kids and he was never married. The life experience gap and the age all add up to a strong wife weak husband dynamic that leave them always fighting.

Not all older woman relationships will have these types of power struggles or appearance mismatches but if the gap is large it can lead to those struggles.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jsmart said:


> Generalities? An older man younger woman is natural. Sure their outliers that have a much older woman than the man. If they’re happy, more power to them.
> 
> I have a coworker that’s married to a woman 12 years older than him. He was 28 and she was 40 when they started dating. Even back then the age difference was a head scratcher, now that he’s 44 and she’s 56, the appearance difference is more pronounced. Then you have the power struggled between them. She was divorced with 2 kids and he was never married. The life experience gap and the age all add up to a strong wife weak husband dynamic that leave them always fighting.
> 
> Not all older woman relationships will have these types of power struggles or appearance mismatches but if the gap is large it can lead to those struggles.


Disagree somewhat. Older man younger woman relationships may be more common but to call them natural is pushing it.

If the difference gets too large you end up with a business arrangement and the same power dynamic issues. And eventually the guy also gets freaking old while she's still in her prime.

My ex was 19 years older. It wasn't a business arrangement (I made more then him) but there was a power issue because he always thought he knew better, and he started to get old. Given everything else I had to put up with (there were other issues as well) I decided he wasn't worth it and I sure as hell wasn't going to take care of him.

Large age differences can work until they don't.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

Nina0 said:


> So do you all think he just wanted to be casual then? Didn’t like me enough to get emotions invested?


Yes. He wasn't looking for a project -- or as he said, "relationship." But aren't you glad you kept it in your pants now though? He would have slept with you and then dumped you.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

DownByTheRiver said:


> Yes. He wasn't looking for a project -- or as he said, "relationship." *But aren't you glad you kept it in your pants now though? He would have slept with you and then dumped you.*


Ain't that the truth! I read an article once where the author worded it best. She said "I've never felt bad when a man bounced because I wouldn't have sex, but I have felt horrible when I had sex and the man bounced".


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

lifeistooshort said:


> Disagree somewhat. Older man younger woman relationships may be more common but to call them natural is pushing it.
> 
> If the difference gets too large you end up with a business arrangement and the same power dynamic issues. And eventually the guy also gets freaking old while she's still in her prime.
> 
> ...


LTS, I’m 56 and my wife of 31 years is 54, so no big gap for us. I totally agree that a man that’s way older than the woman can be troubling too. I know a lot of such couples have been able to make big gaps work but for me, I couldn’t see myself with someone who could be my daughter.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

I just saw him at work right now and we chatted a little bit (I just wanted to show him that I don’t feel awkward even though he didn’t even reply to my last message when I asked him for clarification of what he wanted).

it does sting and my eyes teared up after I talked to him. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD please someone tell me how I stop myself from having crushes on guys? He’s literally the only person I’ve got a crush on in 10 months! I don’t know how not to be like that. I feel so stupid!


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## Al_Bundy (Mar 14, 2021)

Something to keep in mind in a college town, you are competing against women who range in age from a few years below your age to a whole decade younger. By college standards, you're elderly. 

You have to figure out what kind of guy you want, understand what that guy wants and go do that. I will tell you that guys with options generally won't wait around. Why should they? You could be a really fun person to be around, but you are one of several fun people he'd have the option to be around. I'm no saying you have to sleep with every guy, I am saying though that regardless of what you do, you have to at least be aware of the competition.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

jsmart said:


> LTS, I’m 56 and my wife of 31 years is 54, so no big gap for us. I totally agree that a man that’s way older than the woman can be troubling too. I know a lot of such couples have been able to make big gaps work but for me, I couldn’t see myself with someone who could be my daughter.


Right? My son is 20 and anyone who gets anywhere close to his age is unfathomable to me.

I'm 47 and my bf is 55 and for me that's fine. I've come to think that less than 10 years is doable.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Nina0 said:


> FOR THE LOVE OF GOD please someone tell me how I stop myself from having crushes on guys? He’s literally the only person I’ve got a crush on in 10 months! I don’t know how not to be like that.


From a purely physiological standpoint, your brain is releasing dopamine and norepinephrine, which are the feel-good chemicals your brain releases when you feel attraction to another human. Although you can't necessarily control your physical response, you can learn not to rely on your feelings to dictate your behavior.

You live in a college town. You go to college. There are also men who practice medicine, law, are professors, business owners, and all other types of vocations who are your age or older. Sorry to come across as snarky (and downright blunt), but you strike me as young for your age. Why not start looking around for older men?

I mean, c'mon, a 23 year old guy is a kid. He wants to get laid. Sure, there are folks who hook up in college. I've known a few. But that in no way assures they will have successful, long-term relationships.

IOW, don't let your feelings navigate your course when it comes to looking for a partner. At least, not when it comes to "crushes." SERIOUSLY.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

Prodigal said:


> From a purely physiological standpoint, your brain is releasing dopamine and norepinephrine, which are the feel-good chemicals your brain releases when you feel attraction to another human. Although you can't necessarily control your physical response, you can learn not to rely on your feelings to dictate your behavior.
> 
> You live in a college town. You go to college. There are also men who practice medicine, law, are professors, business owners, and all other types of vocations who are your age or older. Sorry to come across as snarky (and downright blunt), but you strike me as young for your age. Why not start looking around for older men?
> 
> ...


Thank you for your input! it does make sense that I might be relying on feelings too much. The thing is... I can count exactly how many crushes I had in the past 3 years and they are from all sort of age. You guys aren’t listening when I’m saying I don’t go around looking for young guys. 
First: I got a crush on my college professor, 44!
Second: on the math tutor at the college, 46!
Third: on another professor, 31!
Fourth: my TA, 21!
Fifth: my lead, 23!

Oh wait... I’m literally now realizing all these guys were in a position of power over me. Oh no! I have a pattern 
Btw I only asked my TA and lead out. All the other ones the crush went away.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

Nina0 said:


> I’m literally now realizing all these guys were in a position of power over me. Oh no! I have a pattern


I applaud you for realizing this. How about getting some counseling? Work through why you have this pattern. In a good, solid relationship, both partners should be equals and not in a one-down, one-up situation. Find out why you are doing this and learn from it.


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## jsmart (Mar 14, 2015)

It is normal for a woman to be attracted to a man who she reports to. I think a boss/owner/mgr are the number one type of AP for WWs. Women want a guy she can look up to. Very few women want a guy that’s of a lower socioeconomic level than she is.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

TS, you're making too big a deal of all of this. Most relationships don't work out. People say it's like riding a bicycle, but I disagree. You can easily get yourself seriously injured or killed riding a bicycle, in a relationship it's pretty much just your ego at risk.

As for your crushes, having a crush on somebody inappropriate happens to most of us. If you didn't do anything stupid as a result, congratulations, you're smarter than a lot of people.

If you're afraid of getting muddy, you won't find any gold.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

NTA said:


> My first husband was 27 and I was 32 when we got married.


There is a huge difference between a 27 year old guy and a 23 year old guy. The human brain does not mature until about age 26.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Nina0 said:


> We are 23. But also, I didn’t want to have sex with him because I was interested on getting to know him better. I didn’t want a casual hook up because I already liked him. And it would hurt me if we hooked up and he left me. So I think if his intentions at all was to also get to know me better, then he would have waited until I was ready.
> Am I so wrong for not wanting to have sex right away?


No you are not. Women who would jump right in the sack to me were viewed as easy and not women i would have a LTR with. I refrained from sex until 23 and threw it all away because i was mad at someone i had sex with a girl that had been chasing me. I regret it. It was not with someone i was in love with for 1st time. 

If you jumped in the sack I would of thought how many other men have they screwed. I do not want to be in LTR with girl that has probably screwed half the guys you work with. If you do not value yourself then the other sex will think "What do you have of any value if you are just an easy piece of azz."


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> We're different generations. My response would be to come back when you've grown up. Two dates wouldn't even earn you access to my front door.


I kissed my wife on the 2nd date after asking her. I wanted LTR and did not try to maul her to quickly. It threw her for a loop when i did not try to even kiss her on 1st date. She told her bridesmaid she thought i did not like her and was supprized when i called for 2nd date. I was smitten 1st time i saw her 3 weeks prior to meeting her. I did not want to come on too strong or see her as easy. I thought more of her and was looking for a wife, got married 8 mo later in 1997.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Divinely Favored said:


> I kissed my wife on the 2nd date after asking her. I wanted LTR and did not try to maul her to quickly. It threw her for a loop when i did not try to even kiss her on 1st date. She told her bridesmaid she thought i did not like her and was supprized when i called for 2nd date. I was smitten 1st time i saw her 3 weeks prior to meeting her. I did not want to come on too strong or see her as easy. I thought more of her and was looking for a wife, got married 8 mo later in 1997.


I think you are missing the fact the the OP is nearly 30 and the boy is 23... that changes the dynamic completely...


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Divinely Favored said:


> I kissed my wife on the 2nd date after asking her. I wanted LTR and did not try to maul her to quickly. It threw her for a loop when i did not try to even kiss her on 1st date. She told her bridesmaid she thought i did not like her and was supprized when i called for 2nd date. I was smitten 1st time i saw her 3 weeks prior to meeting her. I did not want to come on too strong or see her as easy. I thought more of her and was looking for a wife, got married 8 mo later in 1997.


Back in my day (the dark ages) guys were hesitant to ask if they could hold your hand after a few dates.


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

Blondilocks said:


> Back in my day (the dark ages) guys were hesitant to ask if they could hold your hand after a few dates.


That was just you scareeeeeee😁😁😁


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

Andy1001 said:


> That was just you scareeeeeee😁😁😁


Ha-ha. Scareeeeeee was my Mama. They knew they had to be on their best behavior.


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## GC1234 (Apr 15, 2020)

Nina0 said:


> I had a crush on this coworker since January, and we would flirt and text occasionally. He showed interest but I thought he couldn’t ask me out because he is my lead (he’s not a supervisor, just a lead that has no influence on me at all).
> 
> Anyway, I asked him out on a date two weeks ago and he said yes. The date was perfect! He’s such a gentleman, showed a lot of interest, talked about doing things together, no red flags at all. We spent 5 hours together on that Saturday, and it was nice and had a good flow because we already knew each other.
> 
> ...


What's his sign?


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Nina0 said:


> And I mean... even he dated for 3 years at such young age (from 18 to 21). So I don’t think that every guy is afraid of commitment in the early 20’s. Right?


I was a virgin till 23. I was the romantic looking for THE ONE who would also be a virgin and explore love and sex together. Not have a stack of guys she had already.. F'ed through. The good guys are still out there. My son is 21 and is marrying his HS girlfriend of 4 yrs in Sept.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

NTA said:


> My first husband was 27 and I was 32 when we got married.


I was 25 and wife 29.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

jsmart said:


> LTS, I’m 56 and my wife of 31 years is 54, so no big gap for us. I totally agree that a man that’s way older than the woman can be troubling too. I know a lot of such couples have been able to make big gaps work but for me, I couldn’t see myself with someone who could be my daughter.


My sister is 17yrs younger than her hubby. She had a 2.5 yr affair on him. Definately damaged her relationship with me and my children. She can not have kids and mine do not have much to do with her.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

In Absentia said:


> I think you are missing the fact the the OP is nearly 30 and the boy is 23... that changes the dynamic completely...


Depends on the boy. When i was 23 i was practically living with a 34yr old divorcee with 9yr old. Until i caught her cheating. I was just a sex toy. I would have married her, it hurt. She was a read headed nympho that about killed me with sex. I was hanging in there but getting tired of all the sex with no intimate emotional connection from her. I felt used and abused. Hell I was!! It had not been 6 months since my 1st.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

Blondilocks said:


> Ha-ha. Scareeeeeee was my Mama. They knew they had to be on their best behavior.


All the parents LOVED me. Just wished the girls had tge moral fiber their parents did.


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## Torninhalf (Nov 4, 2018)

Divinely Favored said:


> Depends on the boy. When i was 23 i was practically living with a 34yr old divorcee with 9yr old. Until i caught her cheating. I was just a sex toy. I would have married her, it hurt. She was a read headed nympho that about killed me with sex. I was hanging in there but getting tired of all the sex with no intimate emotional connection from her. I felt used and abused. Hell I was!! It had not been 6 months since my 1st.


Clearly then you were still just a boy not to realize you were an ego boost and a toy to an older woman.


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## NTA (Mar 28, 2021)

Divinely Favored said:


> Depends on the boy. When i was 23 i was practically living with a 34yr old divorcee with 9yr old. Until i caught her cheating. I was just a sex toy. I would have married her, it hurt. She was a read headed nympho that about killed me with sex. I was hanging in there but getting tired of all the sex with no intimate emotional connection from her. I felt used and abused. Hell I was!! It had not been 6 months since my 1st.


We could play Maggie May.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

My sister sait Trass


NTA said:


> We could play Maggie May.


Sister said Trashy Side was my song. Son thats a coctail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig.


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## Hopeful Cynic (Apr 27, 2014)

Nina0 said:


> Thank you for your input! it does make sense that I might be relying on feelings too much. The thing is... I can count exactly how many crushes I had in the past 3 years and they are from all sort of age. You guys aren’t listening when I’m saying I don’t go around looking for young guys.
> First: I got a crush on my college professor, 44!
> Second: on the math tutor at the college, 46!
> Third: on another professor, 31!
> ...


I think you would be wise to do some research on crushes, and attraction. Figure out your pattern, as you say. Everybody encounters people they find attractive for various personal reasons. Start figure your reasons out. Is it that they pay more attention to you (because they work closely with you), or you pay more attention to them (because they're teaching you), or is it a physical attribute (a certain build, facial shape, height) they have in common? Do you get that same feeling for some actors (or more accurately, the characters they play)?

To me, a crush is something a teenager has; that limerence feeling of butterflies in the stomach at the sight of someone. Over time, you develop the maturity to recognize that there are just people out there that you will be attracted to, but a relationship is built on much more than that. It's your choice to shrug it off if necessary, as you think "yep, there's that attraction feeling again, but this person isn't appropriate." Or maybe you date that person a little bit and something happens to make you realize that despite your initial attraction, they are not a good long-term partner for you (they have annoying habits, they are a player, they are married, they don't return your attraction, they want different things). You just have to learn to let the attraction feelings subside instead of getting worked up about it. Someone else attractive will come along, and someday, you'll find the person who DOES match up with you for a long-term relationship.

TLDR finding someone attractive does not automatically make them a compatible long-term partner for you.


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

Hopeful Cynic said:


> I think you would be wise to do some research on crushes, and attraction. Figure out your pattern, as you say. Everybody encounters people they find attractive for various personal reasons. Start figure your reasons out. Is it that they pay more attention to you (because they work closely with you), or you pay more attention to them (because they're teaching you), or is it a physical attribute (a certain build, facial shape, height) they have in common? Do you get that same feeling for some actors (or more accurately, the characters they play)?
> 
> To me, a crush is something a teenager has; that limerence feeling of butterflies in the stomach at the sight of someone. Over time, you develop the maturity to recognize that there are just people out there that you will be attracted to, but a relationship is built on much more than that. It's your choice to shrug it off if necessary, as you think "yep, there's that attraction feeling again, but this person isn't appropriate." Or maybe you date that person a little bit and something happens to make you realize that despite your initial attraction, they are not a good long-term partner for you (they have annoying habits, they are a player, they are married, they don't return your attraction, they want different things). You just have to learn to let the attraction feelings subside instead of getting worked up about it. Someone else attractive will come along, and someday, you'll find the person who DOES match up with you for a long-term relationship.
> 
> TLDR finding someone attractive does not automatically make them a compatible long-term partner for you.


That’s one of the most clarifying explanations someone has ever given me. I’ll have to think more about it. It’s just that the problem is that I’m a hopeless romantic and I always imagine that maybe it will work out... maybe he’s my soulmate... maybe if I don’t make a move I’ll let someone nice get away. It’s the fear of missing out that makes me want to pursue these relationships.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

Divinely Favored said:


> Depends on the boy. When i was 23...


you see, this happens...


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## Nina0 (Mar 24, 2017)

Dude I just came back here for an update... I dodge a bullet beautifully on this one.

So, after the second date I spent a whole week without neither texting or talking to him right? So then he dumped me out of nowhere....
After two weeks my friends at work told me that he told his best friend at work that I was obsessed with him hahaha
I believe I hurt his ego because I refused to have sex with him, and then he had to tell people that in order to feel better.
Luckily he is stupid enough not to notice that his "best friend" hates him, and she told my friends everything he has said. 

Then I confronted him saying that I was barely texting him, that I wasn't mad at him for spreading rumors, but that I thought he was pathetic and I felt bad for him. So then he said "My bad. I'm a ****head. I have nothing but respect for you even if my mouth has spoke otherwise. I'm sorry again".

He's not sorry, he's sorry he got caught on his lies. Also, I noticed that everytime he talked about his mom (a very successful computer scientist) he talked about her with a bit of anger, and also told me that he hates going to his mom's house because she "loves him too much". So if he doesn't respect his own mom, he doesn't respect any girl.

Also, his "best friend" at work told us that he once tried to get her to drink in order to have sex with her. 

I was literally the only one at work who didn't know who he was, and after this experience I noticed that nobody really likes him because he also likes to brag how rich his parents are... he also likes to degrade his "best friend" asking her how it was to grow up being middle class. Which is funny because he works for less than 20 bucks a hour lol

Phew! I'm happy it didn't go further.


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