# What should I do?



## 110116 (May 5, 2021)

How do you work towards reconciliation when your partner is shutting you out? Thursday makes a month since my husbands moved out. Our issues have been ongoing for months. They started with my infidelity and a lot has happened since. He feels as if I didn’t slow down, or act remorseful after the act. Which was February. He didn’t move out until April. I don’t think it’s the cheating in itself, but more so how I acted after the fact. Nonchalant & constant arguing & disrespect. Since he’s been gone, I had been dealing with somebody to occupy my time..up until today, I’ve blocked everybody that won’t contribute to the betterment of my marriage. This time apart has really opened my eyes and I do badly want him to come home and us work on things, but he thinks I have done too much & went too far..and I wasn’t trying when he still wanted it. His words differ every conversation. I feel like deep down, he wants his family. I can see it in his eyes when he comes to see our baby & we’re still intimate many times a week. I know time heals all wounds but I don’t want time to push him away, allowing him to fall for someone else who supports him during his hurting time. I wanted to send him an edible arrangement at work, maybe writ a letter, propose a family outing. We’ve only been married since November & we’ve been together 5 years. I’m only 22, he’s 24. We have a 1 year old, we’ve been through high school together, college, being homeless, childbirth, him losing his leg, me losing my grandmother, me being jumped and us fighting together and a plethora of other situations that really strengthened our bond and I know it’s hard for him to fathom how and why I could betray him when we were so tight knit? he took our vows serious and I make mistakes that are pretty hard to come back from. I’m constantly praying for things to start looking up for us. I tell God what it is that I want and maybe I need to do that more often, turn to God and not my friends (which is how he even knew to begin with. A trifling friend told it all) I’m willing to delete social media , for a fresh start, communicate better concerning our child and not press a relationship cause I’m sure he doesn’t wanna see me cry and beg but it’s super difficult to make efforts and show seriousness when he’s not in the home.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

110116 said:


> How do you work towards reconciliation when your partner is shutting you out? Thursday makes a month since my husbands moved out. Our issues have been ongoing for months. They started with my infidelity and a lot has happened since. He feels as if I didn’t slow down, or act remorseful after the act. Which was February. He didn’t move out until April. I don’t think it’s the cheating in itself, but more so how I acted after the fact. Nonchalant & constant arguing & disrespect. *Since he’s been gone, I had been dealing with somebody to occupy my time..up until today, *


Are you saying he left because of your infidelity and when he was gone you were unfaithful again? Am I reading that right?


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

You can try writing him a letter of apology that contains your ideas on a path forward. That path must go through a marriage counselor's office & include a great deal of transparency. It may not work but if you make the effort, you will at least know you tried to right your wrong.


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## Sfort (Sep 28, 2019)

Welcome to the forum. You have a lot to unravel. You're what is called a Wayward Wife (WW) or a Wayward Spouse (WS) here. Some of the responses you get will be brutal. A lot of people here have been destroyed by WS's, and they don't have a lot of patience or sympathy for a WS. 

Your answer to FM's question is important. Tell us more about what has happened. I will tell you that time does NOT heal all wounds. The pain you have inflicted on him can last forever. There are unforgivable sins that can be committed in a marriage. You two have to decide whether your cheating on him is such an event. And social media is not your problem. You are the problem.


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