# Can Your Wife Also Be Your Girlfriend?



## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

During a rare moment of safe lucidity, my wife asked me what I wanted from her and I said I wanted her to be my girlfriend. This is true. It's really what I want. I'm having a mid life crisis or something. She didn't really say yes or no.

Last night we were lying next to each other and I asked her if she would hold me in her arms (rather than holding herself). She replied "I'm your wife not your girlfriend". I was a little hurt. Am I asking too much? Is there some reason your wife can't at least act like she's your girlfriend?


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I personally think it's critical to act like a wife, mistress, girlfriend, friend, ****, whatever the situation calls for honestly. Sometimes albeit rarely he even needs me to be mom (think chicken soup when he's sick).


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

magnoliagal said:


> I personally think it's critical to act like a wife, mistress, girlfriend, friend, ****, whatever the situation calls for honestly. Sometimes albeit rarely he even needs me to be mom (think chicken soup when he's sick).


I wouldn't mind a mom either since mine passed away recently, but a girlfriend is what I want and what I asked for. For example, when we go to church I always hold her hand, kiss and hug, put my arm around her and all that stuff I used to do when I was 17. All the other people our age stand apart but I really want to give and receive affection


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

Yes! To keep things good you should act like you are still dating - always trying to impress each other and win each other over. I hope my wife stays my girlfriend for as long as possible!


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## incognitoman (Oct 22, 2009)

I think that it is important. When we get married we aren't just trading one relationship for another, we are really just growing more in the same one. We don't throw away the old to make way for the new, the friendship must remain.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I'm also his personal assistant, chef, accountant, and housekeeper.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Affable stranger would be a start.


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## alphaomega (Nov 7, 2010)

Fitness test!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

alphaomega said:


> Fitness test!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Not sure what that is! When she says she's not my girlfriend, am I being dissed or is she legit?


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

You should say something like, "so I'm not your boyfriend? Oh yeah? Woudl your boyfriend do _this_??.. [insert playful/sexy gesture here]"


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

nader said:


> You should say something like, "so I'm not your boyfriend? Oh yeah? Woudl your boyfriend do _this_??.. [insert playful/sexy gesture here]"


I'll give it a try but I think I have a better than 50% chance of getting escalated nastiness


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## nader (May 4, 2011)

I guess I meant "would someone who is _not_ your boyfriend..."


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## rikithemonk (Jun 8, 2011)

Be honest with her. Tell her; "I love you too much to be your husband. I want to be your boyfriend. Well start Friday evening. Were going on a date. Dinner and dancing, just me and my sexy girl"

Then take her out and have fun. It sounds to me like you allowed your marriage get routine and stale. 

If she protests or gets pissy, Just be honest again. "Don't you think we've let our lives get repetitive and just a little stale?" 

Here is the important part. If she wont go, Get dressed and go out anyway. Make her wounder what she is missing out on. I guarantee you, she wont miss next Friday. If she absolutely wont go out with you, Clean yourself up, New wardrobe, Cowboy boots, Die hair, Stay dressed nice when you get home instead of changing into the sweat pants and ripped t shirt. Let her see you looking your best as often as possible. Loose weight if needed. 

This does two things. Improves her view of you. Lets her know that you intend to have fun and although she is invited, her staying home wont prevent you going. It also makes it easier for you to replace her if necessary. Its manning up.


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> During a rare moment of safe lucidity, my wife asked me what I wanted from her and I said I wanted her to be my girlfriend. This is true. It's really what I want. I'm having a mid life crisis or something. She didn't really say yes or no.
> 
> Last night we were lying next to each other and I asked her if she would hold me in her arms (rather than holding herself). She replied "I'm your wife not your girlfriend". I was a little hurt. Am I asking too much? Is there some reason your wife can't at least act like she's your girlfriend?


You guys are likely missing what that means to each of you. To you I am reading passionate, wonderful as if we just met. I would bet she misinterpreted what SHE thought you met. Maybe JUST a girlfriend. 

Open your ears and heart and listen to what SHE means.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Tenyear...what is a "girlfriend" to you--meaning, what would a girlfriend do that your wife doesn't?

Answer that and then tell her to do those things.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

In hooker parlance, 'girlfriend' means she will kiss you on the mouth.

FYI


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## Undertheradar (May 11, 2011)

I kinda understand what's going on here. 
You want your wife to make you feel as if she enjoys your company, and you're not some old, washed up husband.

Most girlfriends enjoy the company of their BF, because the BF's go home.
If you're not fighting, and you're both not dead, go buy a bottle of champagne, some whipped cream, and strawberries. Get a little tipsy, cover her with the whipped cream, eat all the strawberries you can, and in the most creative ways possible, Make sure you tell her that she's gonna be your GF for tonight, and afterward, she could go back to being a crabby wife


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Plus you can always entertain the fantasy of telling your psycho harpy GF to step the f^ck off. (in your head......)


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> Last night we were lying next to each other and I asked her if she would hold me in her arms (rather than holding herself).


When she was your girlfriend, did you ask her to hold you?
She won't be your girlfriend if you don't treat her like your girlfriend.


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## BigBadWolf (Nov 30, 2009)

Can your wife be your girlfriend?

Absolutely.




Hicks said:


> She won't be your girlfriend if you don't treat her like your girlfriend.


This is golden. Take it to heart.

Less talking about what your woman is or isn't or should be doing, and more behaving like a boyfriend yourself.

So how would you act or behave if you were merely dating your woman?


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

Could this be more of a Thermostat situation? Hot and Cold? See Mens forum.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

The thermostat - the ultimate barometer of your R


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> Tenyear...what is a "girlfriend" to you--meaning, what would a girlfriend do that your wife doesn't?
> 
> Answer that and then tell her to do those things.


Easier said than done. A girlfriend shows affection. A girlfriend likes to be with you. A girlfriend doesn't disagree with everything you say. A girlfriend likes to be intimate. A girlfriend doesn't dismiss everything you want to do.

We are already on the brink of world war three. Bringing up all this stuff would take us to the middle of world war 4. I'm looking to start over and have a new beginning


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

BigBadWolf said:


> Can your wife be your girlfriend?
> 
> Absolutely.
> 
> ...


Sounds good on paper, but in the real world I have to get buy in to get anything done. I'm like I was in high school when I had a girlfriend that didn't want to be my girlfriend. I'm sure we've all been there. I'm hoping to overcome this by intellect because behaving like a boyfriend is not working. To be honest, I'm not really sure about her and I'm looking to move things forward, one way or another.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Hicks said:


> When she was your girlfriend, did you ask her to hold you?
> She won't be your girlfriend if you don't treat her like your girlfriend.


She was never my girlfriend. I'm trying this get this going because this is what I want. Yes, I as her to hold me. I have always treated her like the best girlfriend I have ever had and even she would admit this.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Runs like Dog said:


> In hooker parlance, 'girlfriend' means she will kiss you on the mouth.
> 
> FYI


Yeah, she doesn't get that although that's what she does. I'm trying to put it in a nicer way


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

hi all---

in my eyes, a girlfriend will hold your hand in pubic, let you hold them in pubic, and when you give them a squeeze, they squeeze you back..

girlfriends love to have sex with you, and think anything you say is funny...i know a lot of people dont like kathy lee, but she has a great laugh, her and paula deen...

that has to be the best laugh to have when husband tells a joke, just a good open mouth, head thrown back flat out laugh.

girlfriends tell you hw much they love you, and like spending time with you...i recently told my husband i thought his balls were pretty-i dont have any others to compare-but he was giddy like a school girl for days, and told me he liked hearing that...

girlfriends do things like that...girlfriends just flat out like you...
rikithemonk-advice is dead on, you want a "girlfriend" you better start acting like a "boyfriend"...

are you doing all the things you would like to be done to you??

sex is spontainous, hot with food and laughter, passion, you just cant wait until you get their clothes off, and for them to get yours off....


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> Last night we were lying next to each other and I asked her if she would hold me in her arms (rather than holding herself). She replied "I'm your wife not your girlfriend".


?!?! Hmmm... that's weird, at least for me... as you asked for affection and then she gave you that statement =/

For the missus and I, not much has really changed in terms of affection from when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend to husband/wife. Heck, then again, admittedly the affection and closeness we shared was already there when we were just... 'friends'

We are still passionate and loving even after all these years. But I'm assuming that's what you mean by asking your wife to be your 'girlfriend'.


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## tammyv (Jun 17, 2011)

I guess its nothing but her mood swing.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Spooning leads to forking!


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

All I can tell you is getting your wife to act like your girlfriend will not happen by asking her to act like your girlfriend.


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## FeliceDunas (Jun 14, 2011)

You are not alone in this. I spend much of my time helping my patients and clients with this issue. Perhaps you might find my free teleclasses helpful. I invite you to check out my link: www.keepingherhappy.com

Good Luck,
F. Dunas


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## ClipClop (Apr 28, 2011)

What do you mean she was never your girlfriend?

Maybe she sees GF as a demotion. What does she see as the difference? Did you discuss definitions?

If my h asked me to hold him I wouldn't respond all snarky. I would see his need and hold him. You opened up and took a risk and she was a withholding jerk in response.se. from where I sit, she isn't much of a wife, either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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