# The awkwardness of separation and divorce.



## OnlyTime (Jun 22, 2013)

Just wanted to say how very awkward it is after a separation which led to divorce coming from the one who was 'blindsided'. Having 50/50 custody of 2 daughters 12 and 14 adds to the awkwardness most of all for me. You know the 'why did she go' anger and bitterness before time allowed you to self-reflect and realize you had a big part in the way things went ? Or the avoiding mutual friends for months because of the shame of trying to avoid answering or talking about it..Not wanting to even look at let alone have to speak to her because of more anger and bitterness and getting all nervous because you have to go to a function for the kids...Those were my days in hell...Then I started to realize that having resentment and anger only set me back. I decided to talk about the girls first to her and was surprised how much more control of myself it gave me. That led to not worrying who was around in a social setting . After she remarried 8 months later it was another blow to finality but the recovery took 2 days. It leaves a deep scar to dissolve 17 yrs of marriage in a flash, but the pain subsides and the kids keep getting older and you still have to live your life hopefully without the awkwardness.


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## ThreeStrikes (Aug 11, 2012)

You're not alone. And divorce is so common these days that most people aren't phased by it.

Your awkwardness is self-imposed.

Sounds like you're getting through it, though.

I could only wish my X gets re-married in 8 months! It'll save me loads of spousal support $, and make her look like the floozie she is to boot :smthumbup:


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Ditto. Also, if someone asks a personal question you aren't ready to answer, tell them that. A simple "I'm really not ready to talk about it - thanks for your concern, tho" is sufficient. 

You can only control how you react so it sounds like you are headed in the right direction.


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