# Ex's suicide threats



## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

For those who don't know my story: My exH cheated for years, had women "friends" he saw behind my back, I kicked him out and he started seeing his adult daughter's friend within 10 wks, then he got her pregnant at which time I filed for Legal Separation.

So he hadn't even finalized this marriage before he was off making babies with a skank who knew he was still married.

BTW everything he did above he hid from me, including seeing the skank, we were actually working on reconciling when he told me she was pregnant.

Fast forward a year to now, and I am rebuilding my life and in general everything is going great for me. I try to be friendly and civil to him for the sake of our son. Obviously him and the skank did not work out and he moved back near my son and I to be closer. He has been wanting to see me, go out to dinner and movies, etc. 

I have been pushing him to settle the 401k and other benefits he owes to me. He ignores my written requests or when I ask him he says he can't afford it.

The skank filed for child support literally the same week she gave birth (no surprise there). So now he pays me quite a chunk of change in alimony and child support, now the child support services is asking the court to make him pay $1200 a month plus health insurance - $700 a month extra thru his work, and he tells me he's broke.

OK... its not my problem. He should have paid his debts to this marriage first before making very expensive babies with women he hardly knew. I pointed this out and he said "why can't you forgive me?" He wants to get back together. In my opinion, only because he can't pay for all his responsibilities.

He made a statement that he's only a paycheck to everyone... I reminded him he is the one who cheated and wanted out so desperately because the grass was oh so greener.

There is no way on this planet I would consider being with him again after all he's done to hurt and humiliate me. I just want what is owed to me and I want to move on. So I gave him some reasons - recounted some of the worst most hurtful things he did and his response was he might as well put a bullet in his head.

Go%^ammit.. I hate him for pulling this crap. He's trying to manipulate me emotionally, something he's good at and has does throughout our marriage. I hate it and its very upsetting to me. I'm not going to have that crap on my conscience. How do you handle this?


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Ignore it. He is full of sh!t and only looking to manipulate you. Whether he offs himself or not is not your responsibility. And stop engaging him so much, only discuss your kids and thats it. The rest of his life isnt your issue.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

Say if you really feel that way and want to harm yourself, I'm going to call the authorities so they can take you to a hospital for mental treatment.


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

My ex threatened lots of things, lots of times. He threatened to kill himself to me when I insisted he get a job. He threatened to kill himself when our D confronted him on his multiple skanks. With the first threat I called his therapist, who properly told me he couldn't discuss my ex's condition. The ex was furious with me for sticking my nose into his business and this was before Dday and before our separation. I quickly found out he had been lying to his therapist about all sorts of things. After that I washed my hands of him and his threats. Some folks, like my ex and your STBX, are really only trying to manipulate people. Do you honestly believe he is going to take a gun and use it? If you do, follow vi bride's advice and tell him you will call the authorities. Otherwise, go NC on him and his pitiful advances.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Next time he threatens you like that just call the police on his ass and they'll take him to a mental hospital 'for his own safety' (lol). That's what I did the last time a woman tried to emotionally blackmail me into getting what she wanted, she learnt her lesson.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Next time he threatens you like that just call the police on his ass and they'll take him to a mental hospital 'for his own safety' (lol). That's what I did the last time a woman tried to emotionally blackmail me into getting what she wanted, she learnt her lesson.


He is the police. That's what he does for a job.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Suicide threats are attempts at manipulation. People that want to do it just do it. Kudos to you for not buying his bullsh!t and moving on. You are correct that you are a nice comfy plan B that would help with his debts; do yourself a favor and don't even engage him about anything not related to business.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

I just wish he'd grow up and deal with the life he CHOSE for himself. I'm so tired of his victim mentality. Just done with it.

I want a peaceful, happy life without his BS drama in it. I'm GLAD I'm not with him anymore. I'd forgotten how good life could be I'd been with him so long 

Believe me I don't encourage him. He send me unsolicited texts whining about how much they are taking from him. I don't even respond.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

brokenbythis said:


> He is the police. That's what he does for a job.


Awesome! So you can embarrass him in front of his whole department! :smthumbup:


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Lower your expectations of him. You know who he is and now that you've freed yourself from him his issues are no longer your problem.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

brokenbythis said:


> He is the police. That's what he does for a job.


That doesn't matter, if he threatens you need to call the emergency service. Who cares what he is, you report it like you would for anyone else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

My ex told me he'd actually tried to commit suicide late last year. I felt not one ounce of sympathy I'm sorry to say. He chose this path, he was adamant that there was 'more to life'

Your ex is looking at the ruins of his life and thinking 'oh sh*t'. You may be trying to be the bigger person but I don't have to, I say 'serves you right you massive tool'


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Buy a life insurance policy on him. Yeah, I know it isn't nice, but oh well, it is practical.

My stbx mumbled some similar crap, but he is too gutless to do it.


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## indiecat (Sep 24, 2012)

My ex threatened suicide a lot. Even to his OW when she dumped him. A lot of manipulators play the 'victim' card and want OUR sympathy. They know that we are decent people with normal feelings and they try every trick to play on our emotions. 


That is crazy that he wants your sympathy for his self created money problems. Speaks to his character that he can't be a man and realize that he made his own mess, and has the nerve to whine about it. 

It's a very common tool they use when they get themselves in a jackpot of their own making. 

If mine ever tried that line again I would call 911, just to stop his lying mouth from pulling it over and over. 

Congratulation to you for building a new life. You did well.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

No way I would tolerate this sort of manipulation. Most likely I would tell him to make sure he did it properly the first time.


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## Justadude (Aug 6, 2012)

They cheat, crushing us in the process. Then their immoral and self-destructive ways end the only way they can, and they think they can come back in our lives? They want to use us again to escape from their choices? Sounds like a total narcissist....there is a warm spot in hell waiting for these people. They just don’t go away do they?


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

brokenbythis said:


> he said "why can't you forgive me?" He wants to get back together. ...I want to move on. So I gave him some reasons - recounted some of the worst most hurtful things he did and his response was he might as well put a bullet in his head.


Why don't you tell him: 

"You know what, <name>, just do whatever you wanna f*cking do...you always do anyway. I've never had any control over you.

I wanted to be married, but *you wanted* to run around.
I wanted you to be faithful, but *you wanted* to stick your pen1s in anyone you wanted.
I wanted to reconcile, but *you wanted* to have unprotected sex with your skanky baby-mama.
You have always done whatever the hell you wanted; so, if your life sucks now it's because your poor choices have made it suck.

We're done. I'm out of it. If we're not going to talk about <child's name>, then we're not talking. You're all out of second chances. And third, and fourth. I'm all out of "forgiveness"; you used up the last of it several betrayals ago!

Find someone new, I am *completely* through with you."

Seriously, *how* could you stop him from putting a bullet in his head? You couldn't stop him from cheating. Or lying. Or sneaking. Or impregnating others. Or being duplicitous during a false reconciliation. Blaming YOU if he kills himself is like blaming YOU for all of the above...pure unadulterated BS. ...'cuz he's a victim!


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## SlowlyGettingWiser (Apr 7, 2012)

Holland said:


> I would tell him to make sure he did it properly the first time.


AMEN, sister!

Tell him it better be FATAL, 'cuz you're not taking care of his vegetative azz!


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## Sabariel (Jun 14, 2011)

"Before you do, can you make a will and leave everything to our son?"

Call his bluff. The sooner he realizes he can't manipulate you, the better.


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## brokenbythis (Aug 21, 2011)

Here's the kicker, guys.

Not only was he seeing the skank behind by back, when she refused to terminate the pregnancy (at his request) he had no choice but to spill the beans to me. He cried, said it was all a huge mistake, that she was crazy, she tricked him, blah blah blah. Begged for forgiveness. The whole nine yards.

That was a year ago. He's been hanging around me looking for reconciliation ever since. After the final round with the OW ended (see below) he even moved back to where I live to "be nearer to you and (son)". 

I just found out he went back and forth with the OW while she was pregnant a few times, went to prenatal appts with her, told people he was excited to be a dad again. The entire time he is taking me to dinners, movies, telling me he is dreading it being born and being sued for child support, how much of a witch the OW is. I also found out his family and friends went to her baby shower, and are facebook buddies with her now. He has never admitted to anyone she deceived him into getting pregnant. Like he can't admit he was duped.

His version of deceived = he broke it off with her early last year apparently due to her obsessive behavior and a few days later she told him she was pregnant (she wasn't). Upon hearing this news he told me he wanted a divorce - I had no idea why and he didn't elaborate. He went back to her (to "do the right thing") and she got pregnant a month later. Idiot him. She wanted to make his marriage end and she was successful. Who would stay with a man who gets another woman pregnant? She actually did me a favor  "Do the right thing" to him means DUMP your wife and child for a skank who says she's pregnant. When I think of it this way I hate his guts. What sort of person treats their family like that? Yes we had marriage issues but I didn't deserve that.

So as much as I don't want to see anybody hurt themselves YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.


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