# need a mans view



## confused&inneedofadvice (Oct 16, 2013)

I would have to say that all the things I have tried this has been he most helpful. To read all of your posts and not have things sugar coated. I will defiantly say I have some work to do by maybe you can all help more specifically. He is a run down

Both of our 2 marriages. He married 12 years me 11.
We have been together almost 5 and married almost 4.
He has 2 kids 1 which we have all the time and 1 we never have
I have 3 which we have all the time
We have 1 together and another on the way.
Yes I know that's a lot of kids. =)
He was raised with rather older parents. Beatings were the fix for everything. No I love you's or good jobs. He overly expects this now and does it towards the kids as well.
I had a normal childhood. Told all these things within reason. It was not over used.
His child living with us has really had a lifestyle change due to never having responsibilities before our relationship.
My kids have adapted very well.
Our arguments are always over the kids for the most parent, parenting doesn't always seem to be the same seeing how we were brought up so different.
He is very lovey or I should say was. I really try to show affection but I am mentally drained. I do all house work, bills, kids activities and appts and work 48 hours a week, 
He works 40 hours a week and is very good with the kids. I have asked to have help around the house but it never happens. When it comes to sex he usually says well are you going to give me some tonight. my thought is wow yeah I am really turned on now. But I say well are you going to come to bed with me. He usually says well yeah but I am not going to bed at 9. I tell him I can't be starting this stuff at 11 when you feel its good for you to go to bed. Then I usually go to bed alone feeling guilty for being exhausted. We have been faithfully going to church and even doing marriage sunday school classes. I think it has helped him by hearing other women say the same things I do. 
His main comments to me are
you always have to be right
you always have to be in control
my response is I usually am right but it is only because if I think there is a small chance that I may be wrong I don't even go there. (no one likes to be wrong)
and yes I run a very tight shift I have to, to get things done. There are kids that have to be places at certain times and for nothing to be forgotten I have to . He works construction things don't always go right there and sometimes there is a long drive time. I can't depend on anyone to pick up my slack.
I am sorry for such a long post.


----------

