# Looking for good Valentine's day ideas. What do you ladies like?



## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

My wife wants a nice valentines day something or other but I have no clue about what to do. I am terrible with the romance stuff and find these sorts of holidays a total big business marketing scam to be honest. 

The problem is my wife wants a present that comes from my heart but not one that comes from my brain being I have terrible taste in what is or is not romantic or a show of love and appreciation according to her. :scratchhead:

So what is a good valentines day present to you ladies anyway?


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

We pick out our own gifts, but maybe a massage, a certificate to get her hair done or spa treatment?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Adeline (Jan 24, 2014)

are we talking like a gift, or an experience? Because the gift part I can't think of anything immediately off the top of my head, but if that is what you are seeking ideas for I could think longer. I myself prefer "experiences." Things I would like to be surprised with would be a nice hotel booked with a Jacuzzi tub, or a weekend at a cabin in the wilderness. Doing all the meal courses at The Melting Pot is always super romantic and way more than "just going out to eat," plus you can dress up a little. Book a couples massage some where. Take a day trip to some place scenic. Do a picnic at a quiet park. 

But if your wife is talking about a literal gift that is handmade or something, I'd have to think for a bit...


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## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

Red roses. Lots of them.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

...This would take some work, possibly some scanning... but if you have Windows Movie Maker or similar and enough photos of you & her on your computer (memories you've shared over the years)....you can throw together a beautiful video in celebration of your life together....add a special love song -from you to her... or one you shared from the past... 

This WOULD SURELY BLOW HER AWAY...

I blew myself away doing this 5 yrs ago !....... I made one for my friends, using her wedding photos, it touched her husband so much he shed a tear....revived their marriage for a time... 

You'd be surprised the emotions it brings to the surface.... watching your lives across that screen....and how the words of a song can move us... well... especially if she is the Romantic type....


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Sometimes the best present is spending time together. Find an activity she enjoys and arrange to do it with her. I've taken her roller skating at a local rink (I'm not a skater). This year we are doing a B&B in Gettysburg. This time together is great and allows us an opportunity to build lasting memories.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

Good ideas but unfortunately I am on a very tight budget until my tax returns come back.  

She wants me to make her something special which I think I can whip something one of a kind up in the shop. 

I am leaning towards a hand crafted necklace pendant but unfortunately titanium alloys are SOB's to work with.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

You have a shop...AND skill??? How about a pretty windchime? If she is on pintrest, look at her boards and see what she is interested in.


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## Happily (Feb 6, 2014)

married tech said:


> Good ideas but unfortunately I am on a very tight budget until my tax returns come back.
> 
> She wants me to make her something special which I think I can whip something one of a kind up in the shop.
> 
> I am leaning towards a hand crafted necklace pendant but unfortunately titanium alloys are SOB's to work with.


First, let me say that I love love LOVE the idea of the pendant. I'm all about OOAK stuff, so my husband buys most of my gifts on Etsy. If you can MAKE her a pendant, I'm sure she'd adore it. 

If it's not panning out, and you're running out of time, I'd suggest making a picture frame, and framing your favorite photo of the two of you together. If you're anything like my husband, she'll be touched by the fact that you even have a favorite photo of the two of you together. 

And don't underestimate the value of a card! If my husband gave me a card and wrote something from the heart about what he loves about our life together, I'd cherish it forever. I'd probably frame it. 

Finally, I'm constantly seeing deals on Groupon and LivingSocial for nights at adorable little B&Bs that are well within driving distance. Depending on your budget, if you have any good deals close to you, you might consider purchasing the voucher, but planning for a weekend a month or so from now when you'll have more cash. 

Whatever you decide to do, it's obvious that you're putting thought into it, so I'm sure she'll love it. Good luck!


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## outNabout (Mar 2, 2013)

*Re: Re: Looking for good Valentine's day ideas. What do you ladies like?*



mablenc said:


> We pick out our own gifts . .
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 So I've noticed! What's up with that? Is that just what women are like on average? Or just vain narcissistic people in general?

I always thought gifts were something that was in theory supposed to be about the idea of generous giving. Turns out the wife's idea of expecting gifts is telling everyone what she's expecting everyone to get for her. She might as well be shopping for herself... Well that happens as well.

She tells me her justification for buying herself expensive things... "I picked this out for myself... I learned a long time ago not to spend my life waiting for someone to give me the things wish for in life..."

Too self centered and selfish just isn't attractive.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

> So I've noticed! What's up with that? Is that just what women are like on average? Or just vain narcissistic people in general?
> 
> I always thought gifts were something that was in theory supposed to be about the idea of generous giving.


Hey now! For me I have pushed people to give me cash for gifts simply due to having had a lifetime of people getting me crap that was no where close to what I asked for. 

Growing up I would have rather had "Son I love you but we just can't afford that gift" talks over having had gotten too many POS gifts that were cheap low grade half butted ones than I could count or care to try and remember because they figured I was a kid who would not know the difference between what I wanted and what I got.  

For me as an adult now when I give I give above and beyond the expectations of the receiver or I explain why I didn't give anything at all.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

FrenchFry said:


> *Like everything it's an issue of compatibility and listening to your partner, you know? My husband might be inclined to generously give me a dozen roses but if they mean nothing/worse than nothing to me...what's the point?*


:smthumbup:

I told my husband years ago to never waste his $$ on flowers for me....I can think of so many other things I'd love more so...I don't like just "throwing them out" days later....

I even told him I'd rather go to McDonalds and get a couple Big Macs for the price of that... 

Another time I modified this telling him ...Oh if he wanted too..."just make sure they had ROOTS with them" ... then I said "better yet, just pick them in the backyard"- after all , it's the thought that counts.. wild flowers in a vase by the window seal is still a beautiful site....









Then another time I said... "NO, better Yet..buy me a TREE" .....at that point, he told me to go buy my own Tree! 

Obviously I'm not the easier to buy for...good thing I don't care ! ...He'd do far better to get out a boring old piece of paper... and just write me something special -to how he feels... Yeah..I'd love that! Or put on a song..and we'll dance in the moment...or take me for a drive somewhere, a surprise -sharing a moment. ...doesn't have to cost a dime.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Oh, SA, I love love letters, too. I need to go and fish out some of the old ones. 

I remember about ten years ago, dh wrote me one where he talked about how we would be growing old together. I was only 32 or 33, and "old" seemed a long way off. I was just trying to get through little kid stage. 

But now, when I think of what he wrote, I think dh was really looking ahead. And he looks so nice with his graying hair.


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

mablenc said:


> We pick out our own gifts...


“Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving.... Accepting another person's gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.” 
― Alexander McCall Smith, Love Over Scotland

Never look down upon anything offered to you as an expression of love. - Jung_Admirer


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

In my experience, women simply like attention from someone who loves them. The actual form of the attention varies from woman to woman. But the general formula is:

1. Plan something in secret.
2. Carry out your plan.
3. Pamper her.
4. Seduce her.

This year I am going to make a wooden ring for my wife and inscribe it with a heart. I'll also make her dinner and give her a massage. 

All pretty simple, straightforward stuff, mostly.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Actually married_tech the roller skating cost under $20. I was typing my response to your thread when my wife thought I was on Facebook and wanted to know what I was saying. I read her you post and she instantly said like going skating. It was the best gift I ever gave her for valentines day and it didn't cost much. It was the doing that counted not the giving of a gift.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

We exchange cards for Valentine's Day but we don't really celebrate it beyond that.

However I caught hubs making my birthday cake. My heart fluttered. He told me I was more beautiful than ever... then gave me a big kiss and told me I kiss more beautifully than ever too. How's a girl to resist a man who bakes her a chocolate cake, then gives kisses and compliments? 

Other ideas... leaving love-notes to find, massage, a picnic in the living room, get creative, think about what she'd like. And cake, chocolate cake, ya can't go wrong.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

FrenchFry said:


> Like everything it's an issue of compatibility and listening to your partner, you know? My husband might be inclined to generously give me a dozen roses but if they mean nothing/worse than nothing to me...what's the point?


Absolutely.

One of the best gifts hubs got me was a certain vinyl record. Be still my beating heart! That speaks to me more than jewellery would. Wait, did I just write that? 

It depends what 'speaks' to her.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I am an experience kind of gal. Last year Mr H told me to get dressed up and out we went, a fabulous restaurant and then gold class to see Gatsby which had not long been released and I was dying to see.
We had a great time together.

We alternate years to be the organiser and this year is mine. He is an experience type of man so I have booked tickets to a comedy club and dinner. He loves comedy shows.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

It is individual to each couple but for us “gifts of service” are the best.

They do not have to cost £/$ but they must involve some time and thought. 

I know what my wife wants this year (the kitchen refit completed) but seeing as the plastering did not get finished until 6pm on Sunday that is just not going to happen. I did manage to get the radiators back on the wall so the heating could go on last night and I re plumbed the sink / washer / dishwasher then wire up the oven before I went to bed at 11 pm but as I had to be up at 5 am for work this morning none so the units are fixed into position yet.

IF the plaster is dry by Tuesday evening I should be able to get all the painting done on the evenings after work this week but the wall units / splash back / sealing will have to wait until the weekend.

So this Friday it will just be a card for her in the morning and then as our daughters have agreed to look after their brothers an evening off / out for the two of us.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

> Actually married_tech the roller skating cost under $20. I was typing my response to your thread when my wife thought I was on Facebook and wanted to know what I was saying. I read her you post and she instantly said like going skating. It was the best gift I ever gave her for valentines day and it didn't cost much. It was the doing that counted not the giving of a gift.


Unfortunately my wife 'does not do exercise' related activities with any enthusiasm or appreciation and usually take offence to the suggestion of her needing it be it said, implied or imagined on her part. 

We went ice skating as a family yesterday and ol mom never even put her skates on. 5 year old daughter however loved it and wants us to go next week.


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

> It is individual to each couple but for us “gifts of service” are the best.
> 
> They do not have to cost £/$ but they must involve some time and thought.


That's my preference as well. We have a number of fix it up projects I could do in the old house but she won't commit to a design or plan she likes which I know better that to go and use one on my plans on something like that. 

I might just go with replacing the bad spot under the washer and dryer and put down new tiles to finish out her design she started on the revealed the bad spot in the first place.


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

I have not figured out what to do this V day, probably cook her a nice meal just the two of us by candlelight, gifts are nice but time together is something that is worth more and cherished longer.

I know my valentine's from my wife started today with a few small gifts and a nice note supposed to go on all week(first time she has ever done this) should be fun letting her be the "romantic" this year.

I really would look for things you can do (not very physical) together if she likes books and the like find a book of romantic poems and read for her in a candle lit tub or just over dinner (if you don't really cook try it she may appreciate the effort of stepping out of your comfort zone to do something nice for her).

It sounds like you have little ones around, try to get them involved in pampering mom at least early in the evening then you take over later, or take over all her duties when you get home from dinner to runny noses and bedtime while she spends some quiet time just for herself then later break out the rose petals and romance.

Anything out of the normal, things she just doesn't have time to do for herself see if you can make it happen.


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

Jung_admirer said:


> “Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving.... Accepting another person's gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.”
> ― Alexander McCall Smith, Love Over Scotland
> 
> Never look down upon anything offered to you as an expression of love. - Jung_Admirer


I don't know about this. At first read, it sounds great but then, after thinking about it not so much. Now, granted, I am jaded. My stbx was a terrible gift giver. He never put any thought into a gift and would run out and just get whatever. It was painfully obvious. It made me feel like an after thought...which I was! So, not just any gift will do. I like French Fry's approach. Thing about what your DW would like and get that for her, regardless of how you feel about. The roller skating was a good example.

The only gifts that my stbx got me that he put thought into (and were expensive) were gifts to ''make up''. Those are all on Craigslist now. :smthumbup:


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## Jimena (May 28, 2012)

We go look at fancy cars.


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## helen84 (Jul 19, 2012)

What's your mutual interests or career?You should buy something related to both of you. 
Or something can capture your uniqueness as a couple.


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## Jung_admirer (Jun 26, 2013)

Fenix said:


> I don't know about this. At first read, it sounds great but then, after thinking about it not so much. Now, granted, I am jaded. My stbx was a terrible gift giver. *He never put any thought into a gift and would run out and just get whatever. It was painfully obvious. It made me feel like an after thought*...which I was! So, not just any gift will do. I like French Fry's approach. Thing about what your DW would like and get that for her, regardless of how you feel about. The roller skating was a good example.
> 
> The only gifts that my stbx got me that he put thought into (and were expensive) were gifts to ''make up''. Those are all on Craigslist now. :smthumbup:


Agreed ... this is not an expression of love (bold text).


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## Unique Username (Jul 6, 2013)

Jewelry

foot rub

YOU clean the house


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## Microwavelove (Sep 11, 2013)

What does she like?

Try starting there. We can all give you suggestions, but if my husband gave me flowers, not that I would be upset, but it's just a pretty standard Valentine's Day gift and I usually think flowers are a waste of money. Gifts that I've gotten in the past from my hubby that I've loved have been things like specialty teas, running shoes-- things that are interests of mine. To me the most romantic gifts show that he is actually paying attention to my particular interests.


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## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

Microwavelove said:


> if my husband gave me flowers, not that I would be upset, but it's just a pretty standard Valentine's Day gift and I usually think flowers are a waste of money. .


At last a woman who agrees that cut flowers can be a waste you money. I would sooner spend more money (and take the time to plant) a rose bush than buy a dozen red roses.

The bush means you probably went to the nursery to select it, you took the time to plant it, it will (if looked after) last for decades.

A dozen red roses could just mean that you stopped at the service station on your way home and they will be in the bin within a week.

What does each say about your level of commitment?


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

Wiltshireman said:


> At last a woman who agrees that cut flowers can be a waste you money. I would sooner spend more money (and take the time to plant) a rose bush than buy a dozen red roses.
> 
> The bush means you probably went to the nursery to select it, you took the time to plant it, it will (if looked after) last for decades.
> 
> ...


I understand, but if the lady likes red roses?

Different strokes for different folks, I reckon.


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## cjl (Jan 24, 2014)

My wife has told me not to spend money on flowers being delivered. 
I ignored it this year. I sent some yesterday for our anniversary. She messaged me and said how happy it made her feel. A big smile. It also sent a statement to everyone at her job, "she's mine and I love her dearly". Ha Ha.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

My daughter just ratted out my wife and told me what she is going to do for me. We have a simple night planned. To avoid long restaurant waits. We're staying home and will cook dinner for each other. I cook hers and she cooks mine. But the big news is that she is going to turn off her cell as soon as she gets home so I get her full attention. My wife has a hard time putting down her cell and is constantly texting, playing games, or on FB. There is nothing she could have bought me or done for me that would have made me feel more loved than this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## married tech (Jan 18, 2014)

I finally came up with an original gift! 

I took the small dual filament internal halogen bulb out of a car headlight that had gotten the lens broke and turned it into a necklace pendant! 

She loved it! :smthumbup:

BTW drilling a hole in the base of a 1/2" dia 1" long quartz glass halogen bulb is not easy. 
It took me a few tries to get one that worked without shattering it even though I was using diamond burr bits designed for doing glass and ceramic work.


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