# Newbie-- need help



## Mo42 (Jul 25, 2013)

I have been reading the board for a few weeks now. I have read some of No More Mr Nice Guy and Way of the Superior Man. I may be a 'nice guy', losing respect and attraction of my wife after about 7 years of marriage. 

I need some help with some of the tems/philosophies that I see in the threads:

180 plan (?)

Mk 1 and Mk 2

BS and WS script

Just trying to find out ways I can go about changing the dynamics and cannot find any info on these, if they even apply to my situation.


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## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

Mo42 said:


> I have been reading the board for a few weeks now. I have read some of No More Mr Nice Guy and Way of the Superior Man. I may be a 'nice guy', losing respect and attraction of my wife after about 7 years of marriage.
> 
> I need some help with some of the tems/philosophies that I see in the threads:
> 
> ...


Going to need more information from you. What is going on in the marriage. What conversations have been had. Has anything happened to "hurt" the marriage foundation like one of you cheating in the past. Children? etc... 
The more information you give the more it will relate to the experiences of those on here and they will be able to give you some insight. Right now all I can say is talk to her and see how she is feeling, what her needs are etc...

We are happy to help and there are some great people with great advice on here (some that aren't so great as well) but if used correctly TAM will help you.

Hope to hear back from you.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Welcome Mo,



Mo42 said:


> I have been reading the board for a few weeks now. I have read some of No More Mr Nice Guy and Way of the Superior Man. I may be a 'nice guy', losing respect and attraction of my wife after about 7 years of marriage.
> 
> I need some help with some of the tems/philosophies that I see in the threads:
> 
> ...


Read Deejo's sticky thread at the top of this forum's thread list....

You can find lots of information here from many members. Give us a idea of your situation and what you want to accomplish. You'll get more direct answers that way.

This may help too...http://talkaboutmarriage.com/forum-guidelines/464-common-message-board-abbreviations-acronyms.html


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## Mo42 (Jul 25, 2013)

Married 7 years
2 yo boy, 5 yo girl
no EA or PA

overall, just feel like things have gradually changed to the point where there is less interest and respect. 

also, currently she is staying home (going back to school) for the first time since we have been married and when i get home from work she often wants a break from kids. Seems like she looks for excuses just to run around more often. Not usually late but every once in awhile with girlfriends. 

What is the 180 plan? Where can I find info on this and what it situations it applies to? 

I have seen references in the SHAMWOW thread of Mk1 and Mk2. Any ideas re what these mean?


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## Mo42 (Jul 25, 2013)

Thanks anchor, sorry I missed your links in the message before I sent my last message.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

Needing time for ourselves and making sure your partner has time for themselves is important. That's not living the single life, while married. 

How much time do you two have together as a couple? Less than 15 hours a week? If so that's a problem too. But you can't do it alone, can you?

Here is a thread by a brother member on how he handled it. 
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/27426-what-ive-learned-past-year-good-news-story.html

Here's brother Athol's site, you might read his book too..
Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. 
Nooo, it's not a DIY sex guide.


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## nogutsnoglory (Jan 17, 2013)

Mo42 said:


> Married 7 years
> 2 yo boy, 5 yo girl
> no EA or PA
> 
> ...


what is late? 10pm or 2am?

do you have access to her passwords. email, phone, facebook?

any warning signs going on? guarding phone, dressing any different for her GNO?

Just questions that need to be asked not accusing or assuming just trying to rule in or out some possible problems...


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

nogutsnoglory said:


> what is late? 10pm or 2am?
> 
> do you have access to her passwords. email, phone, facebook?
> 
> ...


Put a voice activated recorder-VAR- in her car under the driver's seat you may get info that way.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

I agree with Tom on the VAR, if she's playing single.

Do you have suspicions?

Is this past the point where you can reconnect with her romantically?

Have you tried?


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## Michael Cross (Jul 25, 2013)

You want to know the secret? Here it is.
In one word: LEADERSHIP.

ALL women are biologically-programmed to be attracted to men who have the natural qualities of a LEADER. Women don't want a guy to be wishy-washy or even to cater to their every whim. They want a man who's gentle but also willing to take charge.


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## Mo42 (Jul 25, 2013)

Michael Cross said:


> You want to know the secret? Here it is.
> In one word: LEADERSHIP.
> 
> ALL women are biologically-programmed to be attracted to men who have the natural qualities of a LEADER. Women don't want a guy to be wishy-washy or even to cater to their every whim. They want a man who's gentle but also willing to take charge.


I think this is what I am looking for. I have no suspicions of anything going on at all. I have read some stories on here and there are a lot worse; I just want better. Want her to want me. 

Any specific actions that would display the image that you can advise of are appreciated.


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## anchorwatch (Mar 5, 2012)

*Re: Re: Newbie-- need help*



Mo42 said:


> I just want better. Want her to want me.
> 
> Any specific actions that would display the image that you can advise of are appreciated.


If that's the case these books lay out excellent plans and are easy reads. You don't need to spend monies on the same ideas. These plans are recommended consistently by many members of this site. Be the captain of your relationship. Read it today. 

"Married Man Sex Life Primer" by Athol Kay

This explains how to be attractive by leadership and physical behavior. It lays out a plan, called the MAP, for you to follow. 

"His Needs, Her Needs" by W Harley.

This explains the emotional needs that have to be fulfilled by both in a relationship and how to fullfill them. 

Good luck.


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## Michael Cross (Jul 25, 2013)

Mo42 said:


> I think this is what I am looking for. I have no suspicions of anything going on at all. I have read some stories on here and there are a lot worse; I just want better. Want her to want me.
> 
> Any specific actions that would display the image that you can advise of are appreciated.


This is my primary area of expertise, and I'll tell you it's not a short answer. Don't feel alone. There are MANY husbands who feel exactly the way you do. Becoming a leader is a process, but I PROMISE it's possible.

Here's a really simple thing to add to your daily interaction - start taking the lead on little decisions where you would typically be indecisive. When you'd typically answer a question with a shrug, or "I don't know, what do you think.", answer instead with a sentence that begins with "Let's..."


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