# Deserted



## phish106 (Jul 10, 2012)

So hi.
It's been a year since she left. I'm not all that phased about it anymore. However I'm still married to her. Here's my predicament;

- We lived in the UK. She was from the US. She moved back to the US, I'm still in the UK.
- We got married in the US. All the records are in the US.
- I'm unable to get hold of a copy of any of the documentation needed to file for divorce (for some obscure reason, she found it necessary to take all that back to the US with her).
- She emailed me...probably around March, saying she was going to start to file for divorce. Which was music to my ears, because I can't.
- It's now nearly August, and still nothing's been sent through to me with regards to this.
- I have no way of contacting her. Hell, I'm not even certain where she's living anymore.
- Pretty soon, I'm going to be moving. Leaving the country, starting afresh.

So my questions are;

1. I obviously have grounds for divorce based on willful desertion. I had no say in the matter, she just left while I was at work - hasn't been seen since. Since I can't get my hands on any of the documentation needed to file for divorce (I've hunted around all the places I can, the documentation doesn't exist anywhere other than in Illinois - which I'm also told is where I need to file, but see Q2 on this). How might I go about getting this going if; a) I can't get the paperwork, and b) I've no idea where she actually is?

2. A legal company in the US told me that in order to file for divorce, because we got married in Illinois, I have to file for divorce there too. However, from what I've read, Illinois divorce law states you have to have lived there for 90 days prior to filing, which I obviously can't do. Is this true? What are my options?

3. If I move, leave the country, become uncontactable to her as she has become to me, what are my rights going forward, unable to file for divorce from either side, because we can't both sign the paperwork? Is there some way I can simply "terminate" this notation of a marriage I have so I'm not legally bound to her anymore, regardless of whether I can contact her or not?

Please help 

Dan


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## phish106 (Jul 10, 2012)

Thanks. Much appreciated.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

What does your lawyer say?


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Her parents and siblings have also lost contact with her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Have you looked into the process of getting a copy of your marriage license? A quick google search shows 
Marriage Certificates

You can do it online, costs less than $20. Obviously you may not have gotten married in that county, but I suspect the process is the same.

Second, talk to a local lawyer. Get the actual scoop. If you have a residence established where you live, I really doubt you'll have to move back to the states to get a divorce.

C


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## phish106 (Jul 10, 2012)

This is what I'm dealing with - http://www.han****countyclerk.org/marriage_certified_copy_search.htm

No online facility, just mail in a check and they'll post you your documents. Except British cheques aren't valid there, and have no way of getting them funds. I spoke to them on the phone, they can't take card payments at all, let alone over the phone.

I've no idea what the deal is with contact with her since she left, I haven't spoke to any of them in over 12 months now. I highly doubt her parents have lost contact with her, since the reason she left leave and go back to the US was "to be with her mommy".

I've also yet to get a lawyer involved. When I received a single solitary email from her in March saying she was going to initiate from her end, that was also the last I heard on the matter. I highly doubt it takes 4 months to get documents sent to me, so my guess is that she's forgotten, or (and I suspect this more) she doesn't have reasonable grounds for divorce. My guess is that "I want to go home to mommy" doesn't appear on the list of grounds for divorce. I don't know.

I have a whole week off work next week, and I'm going to use that to get all my **** together, figure this whole thing out, get my visa applications sorted so I can vanish too.

I only posted here first because I figured someone else might have come across something similar beforehand, and I wanted to get other people's thoughts on it. I'll update when I've spoken to a lawyer.


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## phish106 (Jul 10, 2012)

I posted a reply here. Seems it's vanished, or just never showed up in the first place.

I've no idea what I said originally. I guess the forum ate it.

Jist: I can't get a copy of the cert online. Han**** County don't do online payments. Don't do online documentation requests. Pretty much as old-school as you can get. I'm fairly certain they don't have a computer there.

I'm going to get a lawyer involved this week. I hope. Funds are tight right now, but I need to get this sorted.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

They can't take a money order made out in US$ or anything else? And in most of North America, you don't need a reason for divorce now. "Running home to mommy" is just as valid as "she slept with the New York Jets football team"... But as to why she's delaying, who knows...

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

What about Western Union?


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## cdbaker (Nov 5, 2010)

Western Union, Money Order, envelope of cash, go on Craigslist or hire a local courrier to handle the transaction for you, etc. I think you have a lot of options there.

Find a way to get a hold of her to see what she has or has not done. Call her folks, her family, her friends, etc. Look them up on facebook, surely she or they can be found there.

Or maybe the UK has some form of abandonment clause that can dissolve the marriage there? I don't know the law out there.

Either way, I think you've got a lot of options here to get this rolling, and could do most of it by yourself without needing to pay a ton of money to lawyers to accomplish the same thing...


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Why do you think she is so lackadaisical?


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