# depressed and needing some advice...



## c0nfus3d (Jul 14, 2009)

My husband and I have so many issues, I don't even know where to start. Separately, we each have our own problems; I am extremely depressed and tend to have issues with anxiety. He has struggles with anger and aggression along with memory problems. I feel like the way we fight only exacerbates my depression and I'm not sure if our marriage is the best thing for me anymore.

Stupid thing is, I married him knowing we had all of these problems. I loved him and I still do. I just don't know if I can keep doing it. Since I am so depressed, I see a number of professionals on a regular basis. Three of these professionals have either called or talked to me in person about their concerns with how my husband treats me. They say that he is emotionally and verbally abusive. Of course, my husband disagrees. My biggest problem is that I always have to justify myself to him. If I have an opinion, idea, or feeling that differs his, he sees it as some sort of attack on him and starts to attack me. He also doesn't understand why I can't just snap out of being depressed as so many other people have it far worse than me. Often, our arguments lead to him screaming at me and me running around the house to try to get away from him. They have also ended with me self-injuring although most recently, I'll cry and then find a place in my house to hide. My husband struggles with giving me a break during our "discussions" and wants to fix things right then and there. He also doesn't understand how I wanted to marry him when things were much worse (i.e. our fights leading to him breaking things, me self-injuring) and now that things are better (him talking aggressively until I run and hide) I'm doubtful.

We've only been married for 2 years but we have been dealing with problems for 5-6. I'm pretty sure I can't go on doing this yet I feel so guilty doubting our relationship... I just don't know what to do. He's come with me to some of my individual sessions and we've even gone to couples sessions together... he just has a difficult time following through with what's discussed. I feel like I've made a decision, a promise and that I should do what it takes to stick it through. I'm used to putting other people's happiness in front of my own. There is just a small part of me that isn't so sure if this is what I should keep doing....

I'm sorry this post is so long, any advice would be appreciated.


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## Boucaques07 (Sep 2, 2009)

Get a divorce. Neither of you should be in any type of relationship if the mental illness on both sides is as severe as you describe it. These type of relationships end up with somebody hurt badly physically and emotionally. Break it off ASAP.


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