# I really need dealing with this seperation



## saphyre (May 20, 2010)

I have been with my husband for almost 15 years. Married for the last 9 as of April 12 this year.

My problem is this:

First of all I suffer from severe depression, which has caused me to treat everyone around me like crap. I never got the proper help I needed years ago.

About 3 years ago, I cheated on my husband. To be honest I don't even know why I did it. 3 years later, he's having a mental breakdown and now in an outpatient program for his mental health. 

After he found out about the cheating, he decided to stay and try to work it out. Sadly, even though I was hospitalized for my depression right after he found out I didn't use the proper tools to fix it the way he wanted. He has been going down hill for the last 3 years and final broke last week.

He moved out on Saturday while I had our boys at the park. I have texted him constantly to tell him I'm sorry and that I want to get the help I need. I have already started, I saw someone on Tuesday, and have my next 3 appointments set. About 3 months ago, he had gotten really bad mentally, i begged him to go get help then, b/c he was taking my meds that I'm supposed to take and I thought he needed his dose upped. He only went to get the meds, and never went back again, after telling him, that he had to b/c he can't keep taking my pills. I will admit, up until recently I have not been very good with taking my meds properly and that has really messed me up.

Now my question is this:

How do I get through this now that he is done. I think we should try again, with the proper help, I am in therapy now, and he just won't try. Isn't it worth a chance to do it the RIGHT way, esp. since he just started his treatment last week? 

If anyone can help me or give me insight I would really appreicate it, I'm am going crazy. I can't help but text him begging him to come back. I can't stop I tried. Or should I just say fine and move on? I never knew how in love with him I was until these last few days. And I finally realize that I need help and that we both need help to get through this and he wont try.


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