# Wife's Number



## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Just wanted to get your thoughts ladies and feedback about my wife and her comments.
It seems she continually brings up the fact according to her that I am the only one she has ever been with. I have no problem with this and I truly like it however she keeps bringing it up... She mentions it in front of other people and to me while we are alone. She wears it like a badge of courage and even seems to look down on myself and others based on our number of partners. It's kind of weird and driving me nuts...
We have been married over 20 years and although I trust her and believe her I am finding this to be enough of the bragging and throwing in everyone's face. She acts so self righteous and goodie goodie about it.
Part of me wonders why it comes up so often?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

TBH I find it strange that people would discuss these things in front of other people but that was not your question.

Really the only person that can answer is your wife, have you asked her?


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## Ducky316 (Aug 16, 2012)

Self righteous people always make me wonder....ESPECIALLY if her bragging has increased lately. I'd be wondering if this is a badge of honor for her or a regret...and wonder what she is thinking about doing, or has already done.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Maybe she is having thoughts of another and says this to remind herself of how awesome she thinks it is.

We've been married only 3 years..together for 5...and our pasts never come up.


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## Lifeisnotsogood2 (Sep 1, 2012)

discouraged1 said:


> Just wanted to get your thoughts ladies and feedback about my wife and her comments.
> It seems she continually brings up the fact according to her that I am the only one she has ever been with. I have no problem with this and I truly like it however she keeps bringing it up... She mentions it in front of other people and to me while we are alone. She wears it like a badge of courage and even seems to look down on myself and others based on our number of partners. It's kind of weird and driving me nuts...
> We have been married over 20 years and although I trust her and believe her I am finding this to be enough of the bragging and throwing in everyone's face. She acts so self righteous and goodie goodie about it.
> Part of me wonders why it comes up so often?


Tell her she doesn't know what's she's missing.


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Holland said:


> TBH I find it strange that people would discuss these things in front of other people but that was not your question.
> 
> Really the only person that can answer is your wife, have you asked her?


Yes,
she thinks it is the neatest/coolest thing in the world to have only been with one person.


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Lifeisnotsogood2 said:


> Tell her she doesn't know what's she's missing.


She would say that I am being nasty..


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## discouraged1 (Mar 16, 2010)

Holland said:


> TBH I find it strange that people would discuss these things in front of other people but that was not your question.
> 
> Really the only person that can answer is your wife, have you asked her?


She also likes to tell her co workers how horny I am and that I always want it.. comparing me to their husbands and boyfriends. Then tells me how lucky I am that I get it as much as I do.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

discouraged1 said:


> She would say that I am being nasty..


One reaps what one sows!!! She started it 
If she can't take it, don't dish it! hehe 



> She also likes to tell her co workers how horny I am and that I always want it.. comparing me to their husbands and boyfriends. Then tells me how lucky I am that I get it as much as I do.


Wow... just wow.
I would stop bothering having sex if my wife goes on to her mates like that, no matter how much she would whine


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Sounds like she needs a lot of attention and for some reason THIS is what she's chosen to be her thing right now. It's a little weird....but okay.

I'd probably deal with it but coming up with my own version of what she's doing to see if she likes it. She wants to air her private life then I'd up the anty just for kicks. I bet she'd shut up then.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Mavash. said:


> Sounds like she needs a lot of attention and for some reason THIS is what she's chosen to be her thing right now. It's a little weird....but okay.
> 
> I'd probably deal with it but coming up with my own version of what she's doing to see if she likes it. She wants to air her private life then I'd up the anty just for kicks. I bet she'd shut up then.


We are taught to be nice from young onward.

Yet, in relationships, there are times when the "only" way to let the other person know how you feel is to get them to feel it.

Sad, but true.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I too am wondering if there is some regret there and she's looking to get others to give her affirmation of how virtuous it is to have only been with one person.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

It sounds like she is really insecure. She could be bragging to make herself feel better and possibly thinks people look down on her "inexperience" so she could be trying to reassure herself that its ok and good to have only been with one man. Do you ever seem to flatter her about it OP or do you tease her about it? Of course it could also be she is thinking of someone else and wants to hit herself with her own personal 2x4 or something like that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

discouraged1 said:


> however she keeps bringing it up... She mentions it in front of other people and to me while we are alone. She wears it like a badge of courage and even seems to look down on myself and others based on our number of partners. It's kind of weird and driving me nuts...
> We have been married over 20 years and although I trust her and believe her I am finding this to be enough of the bragging and throwing in everyone's face. She acts so self righteous and goodie goodie about it.


I think it is very strange... Have you asked her outright WHY she is doing this, I am guessing this is a NEW thing going on, that she hasn't done this the last 20 yrs of your marriage ? 

Since you have been married for 20 yrs, she is likely in her "Prime" sexually right now, as men slow down, some women feel like they are just getting started....hence all the sex talk. Why she is focusing on this--maybe she is secretly regretting she hasn't had more partners & is reminding herself & others how good she has been all of these years - to cover up her Inward feelings. Hey, just a thought, crazier things have happened !! 

I know when I reached my sexual Prime, I had FANTASIES in overload. They calmed as the sex drive calmed. 

Have you expressed to her that the way she is talking is coming off very self -righteous and it IS a turn off to you- and makes her look bad infront of others, no one likes a bragger. 

Have the conversation. Ask her what is Up with the behavior.


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Well I think this is less of a problem than if she continually brought up that you were not her only.

Tell her you love her for this but that it makes you feel weird that she tells others all of the time.

So I am saying talk to her about it. I have read most of your other threads and this is pretty much the same way.

Suggesting she is missing out is one of those things that can eventually back fire on you. So not the best idea.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Maybe she is having thoughts of another and says this to remind herself of how awesome she thinks it is.
> 
> We've been married only 3 years..together for 5...*and our pasts never come up.*


This is us as well, except we've been together/married longer. The past is the past.


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## tonyarz (Sep 15, 2012)

you are probably making a lot out of nothing. I wouldn't worry about it. Too many other things in life to be worried about.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

Perhaps she has regrets for not sowing her wild oats...and by making you and others "feel bad" for having had sexual fun in their past, it somehow makes her feel "cool".


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

discouraged1 said:


> Just wanted to get your thoughts ladies and feedback about my wife and her comments.
> It seems she continually brings up the fact according to her that I am the only one she has ever been with. I have no problem with this and I truly like it however she keeps bringing it up... She mentions it in front of other people and to me while we are alone. She wears it like a badge of courage and even seems to look down on myself and others based on our number of partners. It's kind of weird and driving me nuts...
> We have been married over 20 years and although I trust her and believe her I am finding this to be enough of the bragging and throwing in everyone's face. She acts so self righteous and goodie goodie about it.
> Part of me wonders why it comes up so often?


Hows your sex life? 

Just guessing... but sounds like the has some insecurity about it - and this is her way to deal with it... to level the playing field and place prior sexual experience _on par_ with prior inexperience.

You have been together 20 years... I say thats long enough to simply bring it up and tell her that it makes you uncomfortable for her to brandish her 'Scarlet V' against your prior experience as if this somehow indicates one or the other is perhaps (or perhaps not) more fit or right or dedicated, or loving or whatever.

Its uncool to hold a moral chip on your shoulder like that... worse to use it as a weapon against your spouse. 

I bet she takes this out and uses it when you are taking jabs at each other at a party or something... am I right? If so, perhaps you both need to lighten up a bit on that sort of thing.


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