# Where Do I Start



## FreetoFly (Mar 14, 2010)

I got married 2 years ago (4th marriage) after being married to a man much younger than me who became a coke addict (he was already an alcoholic). Because of my divorce I lost my home and vehicle. I loved my 3rd husband very much and still love him to this day.

I met my fourth husband right after my divorce and married him a year later. I moved in with my husband before marrying him and had to give up two of my dogs as I was only allowed, per my husband, to bring one. I also had a 15 year old daughter who I had to go live with her father. My husband felt it was in my daughter's best interest since I was moving 25 mies away. My husband complained every time I went to see my daughter because I picked her up on Friday and she slept over. On Saturday we would do something fun and I would be home 3:00 pm every Saturday,but for my husband it wasn't good enough. I was very unhappy and depressed. I felt like my life was being sucked out of me. My husband and I barely had sex (once a month) and he didn't sleep with me. I had to sleep in the guest bedroom. I ended up having an affair with some guy I knew when I was 24. It's a long story but after having the affair I realized it was wrong and ended it. The affair happened when I told my husband that my daughter could no longer live with her dad. I had been living/married to my husband for 18 months. You see,my daughter and her dad did not get along. Her dad had been abusive to me when we were married and now was being abusive to her mentally. I wanted my daughter to move in and I was willing to change her schools even though she was going to be a senior. My husband told me then it would be best if I moved and took care of the issue and moved back after my daughter graduated. I agreed to do so and moved out with my daughter. After I moved out the guy I had an affair with e-mailed my husband and told him everything plus added stuff that didn't happen. I managed not to blow my marriage over this. My husband came over to my apartment only twice because he doesn't like where I live. He says its too crowded and low life. He also hates the fact that my daughter was here even though he doesn't say so. My daughter and I are extremely close.I visit my husband one day during the week and stay go Saturday and stay over until Sunday. He says I never come over, but I didn't make this situation, he did and he denies it and won't talk about it. My husband works for himself and now has no clients and owes a lot of money to credit cards. I have a job, a good one, and provide him with medical insurance. My husband has multiple medical problems such as diabetes and high blood pressure. I just learned that I have pre cancerous cells and will have to undergo a hysterectomy. My daughter is leaving for college in June. I feel so confused. I don't think I should go back because I believe I will be miserable. I think perhaps i just don't want to be alone, but that isn't a reason to stay married. Any feedback would be appreciated.


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