# R-e-s-p-e-c-t



## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Aretha, made it famous in her song and for men it is supposed to be the key to a man's heart.

Men please share your top 2-3 actions that make you feel respected by the woman in your life. (If you cannot think of any then what makes you feel disrespected by your SO?)


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## MrsHolland (Jun 18, 2016)

Not a man but I will answer for MrH. Respect is not an overly important thing for him. Disrespect is not acceptable but respect isn't needed for him to get on with his day. In his career (highly successful) recognition and reward (monetary) feature much higher than respect.

In our home life, forgiveness, love, happiness, togetherness and many other needs are way above any need for respect.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

That look. 

You know...THAT look...not the one that says, "Take me now!", but rather the one that says, "You are the only man for me".

It is especially potent when I spot this look through a crowded room.


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## AussieRN (Mar 28, 2013)

"THAT" look is far more potent IMHO when she's down yonder doing her thing and she looks up at you....

Im not sure that respect is the only key to a mans heart as although we men are simple creatures its (I believe) a combination of little things.
Being desired.
Being pleasured.
Being fed.
Being respected.
Being honest with.
Being fun.
Being adventurous.
Being willing.
I could go on but its no one thing (although some things matter (to me at least) more than others).


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Agree that what's important is the absence of disrespect. I don't need to be fawned over.

How could a lady avoid disrespecting me? Some examples:

1) Don't jeapordize finances by buying or pining about stuff we can't readily afford.

2) If I am working long hours (I do accounting/finance; long hours happen regularly) make it so you are working hard alongside me (take on extra at home).

3) Take my sexual preferences into account.

The gist of it is to act in a manner that demonstrates commitment to a partnership where my needs matter equally and my effort is valued.


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

My counselor told me that most times people just continue what they were doing, while they are on the way out. He was right. My ex never respected me or at least had very little respect for me. She didn't appreciate me being a great dad and good provider. She always told me I should get a job so I could get a "real paycheck" instead of having my own business (which funded EVERYTHING). I always felt as though nothing I ever did was good enough, no matter what I said it didn't matter, I often felt invisible. 
One time in particular really stands out. She was talking to our daughter on the phone. Our daughter was having problems with her BF (now husband). My ex told her "it didn't matter what he thinks! He doesn't have a say in it!" I realized at that point that was exactly how she thought of me.
Towards the end she decided she wanted to take our daughter to Disney World on vacation as a graduation present. She told me how much it would cost. I told her we couldn't afford that and suggested a cruise. That Christmas she convinced our son and daughter to pay have and just told me to write a check, because it was already paid for. So I wrote a check, using the funds I had set aside to pay taxes. 
She also told me once that she "didn't even have time to think about having sex (with me)" as she meticulously planned her next adventure with her "girlies". Yeah, I really felt loved then
When she left she didn't even have enough respect for me as human being to tell me why. If she had given me any reason, it would have been better than to keep imagining it was all my fault (which I did for about 2 years). I am slowly but surely regaining my self respect, along with my self-confidence and self esteem


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

As far as the money situation, there is ab easy way to shut someone like her down. Remind her your financial contribution greatly exceeds hers, and tell her you will gladly discuss her unmet expectations when she catches up to you.

My ex used to talk about what we did not have (house upgrades, lifestyle) until I reminded her that she contributed nothing financially. I specifically (and accurately) noted that if she became a SAHM and stopped shopping and eating out, we would be no worse off.

The truth hurt and she pretty much stopped complaining after that.



Ynot said:


> My counselor told me that most times people just continue what they were doing, while they are on the way out. He was right. My ex never respected me or at least had very little respect for me. She didn't appreciate me being a great dad and good provider. She always told me I should get a job so I could get a "real paycheck" instead of having my own business (which funded EVERYTHING). I always felt as though nothing I ever did was good enough, no matter what I said it didn't matter, I often felt invisible.
> One time in particular really stands out. She was talking to our daughter on the phone. Our daughter was having problems with her BF (now husband). My ex told her "it didn't matter what he thinks! He doesn't have a say in it!" I realized at that point that was exactly how she thought of me.
> Towards the end she decided she wanted to take our daughter to Disney World on vacation as a graduation present. She told me how much it would cost. I told her we couldn't afford that and suggested a cruise. That Christmas she convinced our son and daughter to pay have and just told me to write a check, because it was already paid for. So I wrote a check, using the funds I had set aside to pay taxes.
> She also told me once that she "didn't even have time to think about having sex (with me)" as she meticulously planned her next adventure with her "girlies". Yeah, I really felt loved then
> When she left she didn't even have enough respect for me as human being to tell me why. If she had given me any reason, it would have been better than to keep imagining it was all my fault (which I did for about 2 years). I am slowly but surely regaining my self respect, along with my self-confidence and self esteem


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## Vinnydee (Jan 4, 2016)

For me it is many things but the most important is that she considers my needs and wants in all of her decisions that would affect me.


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

aine said:


> Aretha, made it famous in her song and for men it is supposed to be the key to a man's heart.
> 
> Men please share your top 2-3 actions that make you feel respected by the woman in your life. (If you cannot think of any then what makes you feel disrespected by your SO?)


not questioning my decision making. but instead supporting it.

not rolling your eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

reciprocation,


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti (Apr 23, 2017)

I'm not sure I can think of any actions within my marriage that make me feel respected. That said, it's not a problem, because I don't really feel the need to be respected. I know my wife respects me greatly, so maybe that also feed my lack of need to be respected. If I had anything to offer here, I guess it would be along the lines of words of affirmation. She regularly tells me she appreciates how smart I am and my ability to provide a stable life with a high standard of living. That sound like showing respect. It's nice to hear, but not necessary. I'm more responsive to things that make me feel appreciated and/or desired.


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## UnicornCupcake (Dec 8, 2016)

Respecting that things I value are valuable. it sounds wordy, but I do things that are important with my morals and he doesn't always see the tvalue in them or appreciate them every though they're very important to me.

He hates being berrated in any way in public. Even if he's wrong I go along with it. At least we look stupid together lol


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Mutual respect and trust are important to him in the workplace, an office scenario. In that sense it relates to communication, hard and sometimes critical conversations while maintaining respectful way of communicating, trust that someone meets their commitment, is reliable and accountable. Respect to him, isn't attached to hierarchy or title. 

In our marriage, the meaning of respect and trust, holds much greater weight than in the office - as there's more at stake and means so much more. It's the way we communicate, consider one another, work together as a team. 

I asked a recent example of when he felt I'd demonstrated respect. He had a work function and we initially thought he'd be home a certain time. Shortly after that time, he stepped away from function to phone, left me a message. As I'd missed his call, I texted back. His perspective was I hadn't called to question when he'd be home, and then he demonstrated respect by calling when he could with an update. I texted a supportive message in response (with a couple of kisses and love, that he loved). And to him, this simple scenario was respectful.


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## zookeeper (Oct 2, 2012)

It's nice to have my wife's respect, but not crucial. Self-respect is far more important in my happiness.


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## Handy (Jul 23, 2017)

Disrespect
1. Asking me what I think of something I have knowledge of and often repair. I tell the OP what the advantages or disadvantages of each product choice and advise them what to buy based on the information they seem to think is important to them. The other person then buys the product I said not to buy because they took the advise of a convincing (TV personality or a sales host on QVC) sales person. Practical example the=W is on her 4th exercise bike and about the 50th, maybe 100th exercise gimmick. BTW she has a membership available as part of our insurance at the gym but won't go the 2 miles to get there.

2. Asking me where to go to eat then vetoing all of my suggestions.

3. After remodeling an area at home, then the W sees a TV remodel show and wants what the TV program did.

4. Making statements like "men are stubborn pigs" and having a general opinion women would be better off without the male specie.


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## m00nman (Nov 29, 2014)

Without self respect you will never get respect from others. This is a lesson I am just now beginning to learn.


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## BetrayedDad (Aug 8, 2013)

aine said:


> Men please share your top 2-3 actions that make you feel respected by the woman in your life.


1) Affectionate toward me

2) Proactive in helping me

3) Complete loyalty and trust

4) Has my back, ALWAYS



aine said:


> (If you cannot think of any then what makes you feel disrespected by your SO?


1) Lying

2) Cheating

3) Checked out

4) Not effeminate


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

I don't need to feel she respects me. She need to feel she respects me. When (if) she no longer respects, I'll know it because love with wither and die. A woman cannot romantically love a man she doesn't respect. Don't believe it? Ask them.


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

To delete double post


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