# Strange thought going on here...



## Cherrytree99 (Oct 17, 2014)

Hi

I'm married to a wonderful guy. I want to kiss him, hug him, hold him, have sex with him, etc. all these feelings and wants I get with him. 
I have always been a bit hesitant with guys touching me due to a small incident in childhood with a young boy. So I am thrilled to be with this guy whom I want to touch me etc. however, I am worried a bit about our sex life, we are just working our way through this, so I can't say there are no sexual exciting feelings, yet, I still need to discover this. 

I think I have a bit of a block on my mind, because it feels a bit rough with foreplay to me, he tries hard to be gentle. Plus he is skinny, so I can feel his hip bones, which makes things a bit uncomfortable! But rest assured he eats very well!

The thing is, I lived with a friend who is female, where I could actually get some quite noticeable strong 'tingly' feelings from her, in a sexual way. I wanted to and enjoyed hearing her have sex with guys and I kind of wanted to touch her breasts, she mentioned that her boyfriend couldn't get her to orgasm and I wanted to help her achieve it. But I wouldn't want to have a romantic relationship with her and never wanted to kiss her. She would always be just a friend and an annoying one too!

So... I want amazing tingle feelings like that with my guy, but doesn't seem to be happening- yet?!  

Any suggestions about what is going on in my mind?

Thanks!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

You wanted to get her off but you didn't want to kiss her? ....

Ok. Maybe you're bi. Or maybe you have some undercover lesbian feelings. 

Have you ever had tingly feelings for your husband?


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## Cherrytree99 (Oct 17, 2014)

Thanks guys.

Well I don't obsess about this at all. What I am really doing is trying to make my relationship with this guy perfect. I don't want any strange things coming in the way of us. I think I will be able to have great sex with my partner eventually, I just didn't know I had it in me to feel so good with a guy! From lack of boyfriends and experiences. I love my guy and want to be with him!

I did fool around with some of my friends who were girls when I was younger as a direct result of my mind reacting to the incident from when I was young. I really have never wanted to repeat this and it just dosent feel right to me, to be with a girl. But it was this one friend when I was older that still could give me these tingly feelings. I'm not sure if I was able to go into a relationship with a woman, I wasn't keen on trying and never considered a relationship with them.

When I watch porn, it is very conflicting- watching girl on girl is really arousing to me, but then watching a girl have sex with a man is great, it is a case of I want what she's having and wanting to see the guy make her really enjoy herself too! Plus these days hearing a guy moaning is a beautiful thing too, which I never had thought of before, since I feel in love. 

Sorry this is a bit long, happy reading


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

You sound like you are possibly bi. I am sure there are plenty of married people in the same shoes you are in.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

Did you just get married? How long ago?


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## mace85 (Mar 12, 2012)

Honestly, there is nothing to be ashamed of. If you enjoy sex with a man and enjoyed your past experiences, there was really no harm done. I think maybe there is some hesitation based on you early negative experiences. I would explain this to your guy and be as open as much you can. I think in the end he will appreciate it. Maybe once that pressure is off of you it will help you shed some of your anxiety. 

Maybe there are some lesbian fantasies that let to some past experimentation? Maybe you're bisexual? Neither of which are a bad thing. Just be honest with yourself and your husband.


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## Cherrytree99 (Oct 17, 2014)

7 months married, my guy is from a different culture to me to


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Women respond to eroticism and what we find erotic isn't just romance. Your man isn't pushing your erotic buttons. You sound as if you have responsive desire, you respond to the eroticism but not so much the actual movements.

When you fantasize, what's going on? You don't have to answer but your fantasies are a big clue into your sexuality. If you want to feel tingles with your husband, your probably going to have to tell him what you find erotic and that means revealing your deepest fantasies and thing that turn you on. 

Sexual honesty is vital to a good relationship. No one reads minds and rarely do we fall in love with our exact sexual other half. With complete sexual honesty you both can learn to push those erotic button for one another.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

This has disaster written all over it. This is how it is as a newlywed? Just imagine how it'll be in 20 years with 4 kids and a mortgage.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> This has disaster written all over it. This is how it is as a newlywed? Just imagine how it'll be in 20 years with 4 kids and a mortgage.


Especially if you both avoid sexual honesty! Yup, disaster.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

These are things you figure out BEFORE putting in the white dress. Please please don't get pregnant.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

Cherrytree99 said:


> 7 months married, my guy is from a different culture to me to


You had a thread less than 3 weeks ago about preparing to have sex for the first time. Was the first 6+ months of your marriage sexless? How did your husband react to that?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> These are things you figure out BEFORE putting in the white dress. Please please don't get pregnant.


You know our culture actively subverts any learning about sexuality to our youth. How would she have figured it out when she has almost no experience?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Here's a woman who, at worst, is a lesbian; at best, is just not that attracted to her man. At an age that he's the most attractive he'll ever be. Add to that that she takes marriage so seriously that she spent the first 6 months sexless so she only does it when she's feeling it, but doesn't feel it with her husband. This is all adding up to a perfect prescription for a sexless unhappy marriage. Not all relationships should become marriages and not all marriages should be saved. 

Op be true to yourself and find someone you're wildly attracted to before you marry them. Be that a man or woman it doesn't matter.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Abc123wife said:


> You had a thread less than 3 weeks ago about preparing to have sex for the first time. Was the first 6+ months of your marriage sexless? How did your husband react to that?


This is her other thread: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/229010-not-had-sex-yet.html

Clearly, OP is not the best communicator. And if she is for real, is trying to understand her sexuality piece meal without having to reveal anything of significance.

OP read this book front to cover, then come back if there are things you still don't understand.

Women's Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure - Kindle edition by Sheri Winston. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

Got a feeling that somewhere along the line your husband is going to get blindsided and then problems a plenty come your way. If he has no idea about this then I got a feeling he's going to learn the hard way and by that I mean, your going to have to answer the question I can guarantee you will come from his lips to your ear, "Why didn't you tell me this before we got married"? Then the real problems start and lord only knows where it will end.


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