# Anxiety and Depression ruining my marriage



## tonyandre (Jun 17, 2009)

Hi all!

If you haven't read my posts in the other forums, i'll get you caught up... In the past 4 years here's all that hfas happened:


My wife called off an engagement where she did not get along with her supposed mother in law (4 months before we met)
I got out of a year long relationship due to lack of intimacy (1 year before we met)
 My wife and I met each other and we hit it off
 My wife had a blood clot in her brain and didn't know if she would live (clearly she lived)
 My wife's mom found out that her husband has been cheating on her for over 20-something years
 We get engaged (2.5 years into relationship)
 My boss threatened my job because of the way the industry was leading
 My sister was diagnosed with liver failure and was almost going to die. Thank god she didn't
 I lost my job
 My wife began to start an emotional affair with someone over the internet that we both know
 My anger for this "online emotional affair" took its toll on her and we have been separated
 Each week that passes, our relationship gets worse, we either fight more or distance ourselves even futher
 I asked to file a divorce, she also agrees to divorce (both of our actions might be influenced with hurt emotional feelings)

I don't want either of us to hurt anymore, and I still think there is hope for our marriage but both my anxiety and depression seem like they are always in the back readily available to snatch me and do and say things that might be hurtful, is there anything I can do to lessen their effect? I really need help. :scratchhead:

Thanks all!

Tony


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## MidwestDave (Jun 18, 2009)

tonyandre said:


> Hi all!
> 
> If you haven't read my posts in the other forums, i'll get you caught up... In the past 4 years here's all that hfas happened:
> 
> ...


If you are not seeing a therapist you need to see one, and immediately. Find a good one that understands the way men think - it could be a woman or a man, personally I think women are better for men, because it is hard for a guy to show his true feelings in front of another man. True for me, anyway. Just our nature, it sucks.

You have SO much emotional damage in that list, that is truly devastating. I know because I have a list just like it, but it includes a divorce, a parent's death, losing my job, and now a possible second divorce. You must be a pretty tough person to be able to be so composed after dealing with all that. Depression is often the RESULT of being under high levels of stress for years and years, in the end it can affect your brain chemistry. But I am assuming you probably know that.

Therapy in my opinion, with the right compassionate therapist, is the only way to deal with this sort of burden.


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