# A climate-friendly lifestyle and it's impact on the marriage



## I'll make tea (Oct 11, 2013)

Canon in D asked me a question about how we came across our lifestyle and thinking about it I realized how much I love my husband because I felt all the love and adoration I had for him when we first married again.

So my hubby and me follow a somewhat climate-friendly lifestyle. I would not even say we are true-blue but we try. We *sometimes* use cloth diapers and sometimes disposables, grow some of our own food, sometimes bake our own bread, sometimes use cloth wipes instead of paper and so on.
We eat vegan one day per week because it produces less carbon monoxide than conventional food.
One reason for our lifestyle is concern for the environment, the other is money.

We did not really talk about which lifestyle we wanted before we married. I remember how I discovered my husband did use reusable cloth wipes and I thought it was a cool thing to-do. We also watched some documentaries about our environmental impact.


Hubby is a junk-food king, he loves chocolate and caffeine and sweets.
We were not married very long when hubby decided to buy a flour mill and told me it was fun if we could grind our own flour (from wheat we bought) and bake a bread. Now we did that together and it was so much fun and also great to watch my husband eat something healthful. I am a little healthnut and constantly worried about his health.

Then hubby watched "an inconvenient truth" together with a friend... and he wanted me to watch it and after we did we talked about it... and thought of ways to become more eco-friendly.

I think the first impulse came from hubby but I liked to be one his team, learn about our environmental impact, watch him eat healthy food. I enjoyed listening to him talk about this because he knows so much.

Our first child arrived... I started feeling overwhelmed, but still gave my best.
When our kid started eating solid food he wanted us to feed him only homegrown stuff but often that would mean cooking twice (because infants do not tolerate the same foods as grown-ups). So I started sometimes feeding him organic baby-food I bought which cost an arm and a leg and hubby complained.
Now I am just introducing solid food my second child and again he complains.

Hubby worked more and more because he wants to have a career, but started working in his job at a "mature age" campared to his workmates who start younger and he feels like he has to work his ass off, also did some advanced training in his job.
At the same time he became more eco-friendly, while working more and more in his job... and also nagging me a lot. We sometimes use cloth wipes around the house, but we often do use disposable baby-wipes but every time I ask him to buy them he tells me he is convinced they won't rot in a thousand years and pollute our planet forever.

I feel like the lifestyle is too much work and I am angry because I feel he never works on it and he is also inconsequent. He wants our toddler to eat home made bread but feeds him chocolate.


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## I'll make tea (Oct 11, 2013)

Summary: I realized I still do love my hubby a lot, but our lifestyle is too much work and I don't think he realizes and he takes me for granted.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening I'llMakeTea
Life needs to be a balance. It is great to be environmentally aware, but it is completely reasonable to make trade-offs for comfort and convenience and cost. 

It is great to do your part, but you don't need to do everything.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Tell your husband is he wants to be so eco-friendly, he should do all of the extra work. I can't relate, my husband is not into eco-friendly, in fact when our town gave out recycling bins to the houses my husband took ours back saying he wouldn't be participating and neither one of us would pay extra money to buy more eco-friendly products.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

I cloth diapered, but I used eco friendly wipes.

I don't grow our own vegetables, but I did make my own baby food.

Anything skin & hair care related, I make it myself (soaps, shampoos, dish detergent, lotions, conditioners, etc.)

I do a lot of climate friendly things, but I don't kill myself over it. My DH has no interest at all in recycling or being more green. But he does use the soaps & stuff that I make. So I consider that a step in the right direction.

I think your husband is being unfair in putting all of that on you without helping at all. If he wants it so bad, then he needs to help too.


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## PM1 (Aug 9, 2011)

From reading another thread of yours, it sounds like you two need to communicate more. If he wants to live eco-friendly, but you don't want to do the extra work, maybe he needs to sit down and write out what is important to him. Then you two can discuss the effort involved and cut the list to the key things, getting commitment from him to help make it happen, or it doesn't. If he wont help but complains, I'd be tempted to ignore the complaints.

on another note, eco friendly is good, but not as simple as many people think. Sure, cloth is good, but even that uses detergents and water to wash up. Everything has a cost, and maybe some baby wipes for a brief time are an ok luxury. Just talk it out rather than feeling resentful.


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## MountainRunner (Dec 30, 2014)

My wife and I live an "eco friendly" lifestyle as best we can. We are 100% solar, on our own well, have chickens, grow our veggies, eat healthily, make our own soaps, compost...etc. Organic all the way. But here's the dealio...We share in the duties. It's a big responsibility to live this way and the burden in doing so must be shared amongst the couple/family. For him to place the responsibility on your shoulders is not right IMO. Just my .02

Hope you can work something out. Take care.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

MountainRunner said:


> My wife and I live an "eco friendly" lifestyle as best we can. We are 100% solar, on our own well, have chickens, grow our veggies, eat healthily, make our own soaps, compost...etc. Organic all the way. But here's the dealio...We share in the duties. It's a big responsibility to live this way and the burden in doing so must be shared amongst the couple/family. For him to place the responsibility on your shoulders is not right IMO. Just my .02
> 
> Hope you can work something out. Take care.


Wow, that is impressive. I feel like a slug.


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## CantePe (Oct 5, 2011)

18 months of cloth diapering with the youngest here, did it for shorter periods with first 4.

It wasn't anymore work than disposables in my opinion, just an extra load of laundry to be honest. Youngest couldn't tolerate disposable diapers at all. It gave him bacterial infections and balloontitus (bacterial infection of the foreskin that causes it to swell).

Co-sleeping saved his life when the heart monitor didn't catch the bradycardia episode at home.

Baby wearing made life so much more productive and exclusive extended breastfeeding a 2 month premature baby gave him a leg up (he had infant GERD and sandifers syndrome which he has successfully grown out of, also grew out of the latent ductus arterious and heart murmur as well)

I was moderately "crunchy" when the kids were infants. Still am to an extent. It is more work when one is doing all the heavy lifting when it is supposed to be a team effort.


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

Have you heard of "baby-led weaning"? 

I did some puree foods, but mostly just gave my son what ever we ate. Babies can start eating solids around 6 months old and they can eat what you eat, so long as it's not a choking hazard. We just put avocado, banana, cheerios, or another easy food in front of him and let him eat it. Much easier than doing purees and it teaches them more skills as well(how to manipulate food in the mouth, good pincer grasp, etc.). Look it up online for some ideas and how to get started. Keep in mind that gagging is normal and different from actually choking. That might make things easier for you. 

I guess you can say I am a little "crunchy", but never got into cloth diaper. I do like disposable diapers, as I find it much easier. I did extended breastfeeding with my son and baby wore often(really miss it). He has an Amber teething necklace and a number of wood toys, that seem to work better than other teethers. I just found what worked best for our family and went with it. Luckily my husband was always on board and didn't pressure me one way or another. If he did, we'd have a long talk about the issue.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Happilymarried25 said:


> Tell your husband is he wants to be so eco-friendly, he should do all of the extra work. I can't relate, my husband is not into eco-friendly, in fact when our town gave out recycling bins to the houses my husband took ours back saying he wouldn't be participating and neither one of us would pay extra money to buy more eco-friendly products.


<Shakes head in disbelief...> :scratchhead:


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## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

Happilymarried25 said:


> Tell your husband is he wants to be so eco-friendly, he should do all of the extra work. I can't relate, my husband is not into eco-friendly, in fact when our town gave out recycling bins to the houses my husband took ours back saying he wouldn't be participating and neither one of us would pay extra money to buy more eco-friendly products.


Seriously? :scratchhead:


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## Canon in D (Aug 24, 2014)

*Re: Re: A climate-friendly lifestyle and it's impact on the marriage*



I'll make tea said:


> Summary: I realized I still do love my hubby a lot, but our lifestyle is too much work and I don't think he realizes and he takes me for granted.


I'm happy that you saw something positive out of this. I agree with the others that you and your H needs to discuss about this and focus on the most important points. He can't possibly expects you to do everything. Clean, bake, cook, gardening, care for the kids, run errands for him etc. No wonder you get annoyed! He needs to contribute some, if he is not, is it because he is too busy with work and expects you to do more? 

Some people seems to think stay at home mom are very free and all they do is watch soap operas. Even if one has no kids, there's still lots to do other than soap operas. 

Btw you didn't mention if his OCD would deter him from helping out in the gardening section. What other activity do you think the two of you could do together?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

It is not any more work to live a relatively eco friendly life than the opposite. I drive a hybrid car, we have solar, water tanks, veggie patch, compost, bee hives, chooks etc. We recycle all plastic and paper, it is easy, just put it in the correct bin. Used cloth for the kids and just fed them whatever we were eating.
I am veggo for environmental reasons and Mr H eats far less meat than he used to.
We don't over consume but we live a very high quality life.

None of it is a burden in any way, in fact the opposite as we work in the veggie patch together, tend the bees etc together.

Any life style, eco friendly or not would be hard work if it is not a team effort, that is your issue OP, not the lifestyle but the nagging, lazy partner you are living it with.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

We have solar panels that brought our electricity bill down dramatically. We also compost kitchen scraps. All the plants in the yard are grown organically. We have lots of bees and butterflies in the yard. We use public transportation almost daily. We recycle paper, plastic, cans and green waste. We're also regular donors to Goodwill, the Salvation Army and the United Cerebral Palsy Foundation. Next thing we want to get is a hybrid car. We also support local stores and local farmers whenever we can.

None of this is a burden. You can choose to do some of the steps on your own without your husband's participation. Do what you can. You don't have to save the environment all by yourself. Take baby steps and do what is possible for your individual lifestyle. I would love to move completely off the grid and be self-sufficient, but that's not going to happen, so we do what we can.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

The most eco-friendly thing a person can do is to have no natural born children. The more than doubling of the world's population over the past 40 years has not only led directly to the CO2 crisis but also contributed ito the animal-human transfer of such deadly viruses as HIV, Ebola and several others. All the gardens and cloth diapers could..r never compensate for that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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