# What do you want in your new relationship?



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Okay guys, let's start thinking positive about the new relationships. What do you want your next love interest to have differently? 

For example, I would love the next woman in my life to like sports, and enjoy my love for dumb comedy movies.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

Honesty. That's all. If I can get that the rest will fall into place.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

I want a partner not another child that I have to take care of- someone who will make me a priority in there life- yea and like Bandit said Honesty is a must.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Yeah, honesty and loyalty. It never really bugged me that my wife didn't like sports, or wasn't into the dumb comedies. When we were on, it clicked and worked really well. I want to be wanted, a priority not an option.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Oh i would like to add tall and hot


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Unsure78 I wish you would really stop talking about me like this, you are making me blush at work


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

lol  proud - I would be so lucky to get great guy like you down the line


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Luck has nothing to do with it, it's what you deserve, don't settle for anything less


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## Bucksinnc (Mar 29, 2012)

I'm certainly not ready to get back out there and date, but I agree with the crowd, honesty.

I want to know how you're feeling. Something not going right? Concerns? Share them so we can work through them TOGETHER. That's how a relationship should work. Don't let your problems build and build until they come out as a fight, because that type of "talk" is NOT productive.

I'd enjoy being with someone who shares more interests with me, but I don't feel that's really too big of a deal.


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## SRN (Mar 20, 2012)

Its hard to think about, because my ex _was_ everything that i ever wanted in a woman. I guess integrity and loyalty. Better at communicating.


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## jenny123 (Mar 21, 2012)

Someone that will make me laugh and who I can trust.


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## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

Someone who can take the reigns sometimes, a man who can share the responsibilities of everyday life & not leave me to carry the burden alone..
Someone I can laugh with. STBXH always worried too much about what people thought to let go and laugh at himself... Too uptight.. I love to laugh.
A good kisser ;o) an unselfish guy who will love me fo me xx
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

SRN said:


> Its hard to think about, because my ex _was_ everything that i ever wanted in a woman. I guess integrity and loyalty. Better at communicating.


Ditto.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

To be right with YOURSELF before you start looking at anyone else.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

Okay, I think this is kinda fun and it's actually something I talk w/ my kids and friends about just to lighten the mood and get my mind on to the next chapter...Besides honesty (who doesn't want that!), integrity, self-respect, I agree w/ starting at 40 too a partner who wants to share their life, responsibilities, daily life, someone who likes to laugh and makes me laugh... 

Here's some more and I guess I think about it like for match.com where they ask for ideal personal characteristics etc...
love kids, young at heart, adventurous (willing to step out of comfort zone, likes the outdoors (hiking, camping, gardening), enjoys getting out and staying at home, likes to cook w/ the family, and ideally maybe handier around the house than I am.

If I throw my children's ideal step dad - they'd like him to come to their activities maybe help them in sports, help them learn how to do things around the house/cars, like outdoor activities like fishing, camping, hiking, hunting.

Yeah, think it's possible? LOL can you tell we have talked about it?


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

mama you got me browsing match the other day and i got to tell you ive really enjoyed a little looking 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nc_girl (Feb 12, 2012)

I just want to feel respected and loved, and to make my partner feel the same. I want us to have fun together and truly enjoy each other's company. It's been YEARS since my STBXH and I actually had fun together - we were just going through the motions....


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

unsure78 said:


> mama you got me browsing match the other day and i got to tell you ive really enjoyed a little looking
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good, glad to hear! I have heard lots of couples that my friends/family know that are now married have met there and it's not nearly as complicated as e-harmony. I guess I never thought about having to date in a real way before. I have never dated anyone since I have been an adult and my hours at work don't really allow it so I looked into alternatives. I never thought I'd be in the position of dating unless he died. It definitely lets you see what else is out there.


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## sd212 (Feb 24, 2012)

Funny that you mention match b/c I did the same thing as a result of people talking about it here. And you know what, when I was writing my little section I discovered what I am looking for...

A happy person. Someone who smiles. I spent so much time the past several years with someone who was never happy with having everything in the world a person could want. And I don't mean money (although we have that too), I mean living the dream with a beautiful family.

I just want a woman who is happy. I will intentionally avoid dating anyone who doesn't smile all the time. I course honesty will be vital but I thought my wife was honest so you never really know.

Happy. You can see that on their face.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

sd212 said:


> *A happy person. Someone who smiles. *I spent so much time the past several years with someone who was never happy with having everything in the world a person could want. And I don't mean money (although we have that too), I mean living the dream with a beautiful family.
> 
> I just want a* woman who is happy*. I will intentionally avoid dating anyone who doesn't smile all the time. I course honesty will be vital but I thought my wife was honest so you never really know.
> 
> *Happy. You can see that on their face*.


Funny, I have heard that before. I know that there were times in my 25+ yrs of marriage where I wasn't showing happy, one of my kids said I haven't been happy in a long time and I felt sad that I hadn't shown it or that they hadn't seen it. It's one thing I am working on... I have been smiling for a couple of weeks now and I often don't know why! I have so much to be sad about but smiling (especially when I am more cognizant of my outward behavior) so much lately. 
When I look at pics of men on match I look at their eyes and smile. It is what draws me to people.


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## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

I want a husband that is loyal, honest, and respectful. My stbxwh has all the other things I want; great sense of humor, great work ethic, great dad, loves to travel, loves good food & wine and great in the bedroom. If my next guy could have all that and INTEGRITY, wow that would be a great guy!!!


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I would like someone who is down to earth, what you see is what you get....no games, no bull.


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## Traggy (Jan 26, 2012)

I want a relationship with myself. I have no idea what I want from another person. I have no idea who I am. My definition of myself has been father, husband, lover to this person I am divorcing. This has all changed. I am still a father, that will never change, but all I can tell you is the type of person I want DOES NOT CHEAT.


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

you know what i found amusing i started browsing match.com just as kinda a look see and i swear i can pick out the bs's in there,-they all say they are looking for honesty. i guess i just found it interesting as i am a bs and was also going to put looking for someone who honest in my profile when i complete.one
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

sd212 said:


> A happy person. Someone who smiles. I spent so much time the past several years with someone who was never happy with having everything in the world a person could want. And I don't mean money (although we have that too), I mean living the dream with a beautiful family.


Word dude

I am a naturally optimistic, happy person - H was totally the opposite. Negative, cynical, everything was crap, the country's going to the dogs, etc.

I want someone who's going to enjoy life as much as I do and worship me like a goddess


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## still_think_of_her (Mar 10, 2012)

HONESTY
INTEGRITY
LOYALTY
AND GOOD COMMUNNICATION

:smthumbup: :smthumbup: :smthumbup:


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

Okay...so, I sort of went on a date this weekend...at the urging of some friends, I had date with a man who I *thought* was the polar opposite of my stbx--he had a very manly career, he is handy, he sacrifices his work to spend time with his son, etc. etc. All those things are great qualities and definitely things that I am attracted to--however, by the end of the date, I realized that I just was not interested in this man.

It had nothing to do with how he looked or how much money he made--I was turned off by him because he really only talked about himself, and he didn't really seem that interested in learning about me. Also, he didn't do little "caring" things like open the door for me. 

Don't get me wrong--I can definitely take care of myself and I don't *need* someone to open the door for me--but, I would like to be with someone who is courteous. Someone who really listens to me and genuinely seems to value what I say and my experiences. This guy was clearly interested in pursuing a relationship with me, but he just did not seem very giving or something.

I can't quite describe it, but this guy just didn't do it for me. He was a nice guy, and he is a great dad...and he has a very sexy job ...but, he just wasn't very caring or something--he sort of seemed a little neglectful in a way. I want to "feel" like I am being valued and taken care of. (My stbx was extremely neglectful and never made me feel cared about).

So, I definitely don't want to see him again....but, now, he is calling me and texting me all the time....so, now, I have another problem on hands. ugh. 

Although it didn't really work out, I still had a good time, and I guess ultimately I am glad that I went. It helped me on my journey. ...and in the end, it was good.



.


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## Wildflower3 (Nov 20, 2011)

Someone who puts family before work.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

A lady who is loyal to a fault, honest, young at heart, and who loves God, kids, and animals!


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## melissa68 (Feb 10, 2012)

I want someone who is even tempered...doesn't get upset over the slightest things and doesn't turn small things in to wars. I want someone who loves me more than he loves "being right". 
I want someone who makes me forget there was ever anyone else.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

jpr said:


> So, I definitely don't want to see him again....but, now, he is calling me and texting me all the time....so, now, I have another problem on hands. ugh.


I know someone who went out with a guy she met on a dating site once - she wasn't interested so told him...

and now he's leaving ten messages a day SINGING SONGS DOWN THE PHONE AT HER ha ha god there's some freaks out there, I don't wanna play!!!!


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Last woman I went out with (who is also the first I went out with after separating/divorce) just made the local news for some pretty horrible sounding criminal charges. Poor woman has so much going on in her life, I have no idea why she thought dating would help make her life easier?!

What I learned from that though is I kinda like a little bit of craziness and drama. But the right kind. My perfect mate is genuine and honest, adventurous, able to be crazy but also be sensitive around others enough to exercise a certain amount of discretion when appropriate.

As for "optimism" I don't think I could handle someone with perma-grin, but would need to be with someone that smiles you can feel how real and sincere it is. The kind of smile that, when meant for me, lights my @ss on fire and makes me feel like moving earth and heaven.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

Since I've gone on a few dates, I've realized that I seem to be attracted to a bit of the bad boy, I wish I wasn't but I seem to be drawn to them. I think it's the confidence, but taken a little further, it seems I like the "I don't care" attitude. They can go up to a stranger and make a joke without a care in the world. Now, I'm not saying I want to be treated badly, obviously not, but it's a bit of a chasing game I guess that is alluring. These aren't people I would introduce to my kids...ever, but they're fun to date, fast cars, take charge, and damn sexy....yep.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

melissa68 said:


> I want someone who makes me forget there was ever anyone else.



I so want this too and not just for an hour...


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I wanna gal who can barbecue. I'm sick of always having to don the gay apron and sweat over a grille. Why can't some little hottie come along and take charge of the tongs? 

I mean, is it too much to ask?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

I can grill 
Come on over. 
Do you mind cutting/slicing the veggies?

I know you like dogs, but do you like kids?

On Monday we had a fire (in our fire circle) and we did hot dogs and sausages and made smores. But I can do it on charcoal and gas grill as well. I was actually thinking of getting a gas grill for me on Mother's Day, lol.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

I love you Momma.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## [email protected] (Dec 18, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> I so want this too and not just for an hour...


DITTO... I want to feel carefree again x
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jpr (Dec 14, 2011)

....I want someone who loves baseball and dogs. (...and my son, of course)

...and I mean REALLY loves dogs--not just likes them. My ex 'like' our dogs,but he didn't really love them like I do. He tolerated them, but didn't really take care of them.

I know this may sound weird you 'non-dog-lovers' out there, but it is important.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

My golden retrievers, Thor and Tasha, are like my kids, siblings and best friends all rolled up into two goofy, yellow furballs!


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## Mtts (Apr 16, 2012)

I'll chime in.

Aside from wanting my STBXW I have a few ideas.

Excluding the obvious trust, loyal stuff.

1. Likes music and doesn't mind turning the dial up while driving. I love to drive and listen to good music.
2. Is not afraid of fast cars. I love to work on my car and nothing like hearing the turbo spool on a nice day and rocketing down the road.
3. Doesn't get all tied up about living in one part of a state or another. just being together is enough, that's what vacations are for.


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## soconfused1984 (Apr 19, 2012)

I want someone that respects me, hears me, is honest with me, willing to accept his mistakes, mature enough for his age, patient, kind, loving, understanding, and overall a NICE person, cus like they say: if he's nice to you but he's not nice to the waiter, then he is not a nice person!!!!


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I want someone who listens to me, and doesn't try to tell me how I am feeling (I know what I am feeling).

I want someone who appreciates the same music as me, and likes it freaking loud when we're driving down the highway. Nickleback comes to mind.

I want someone who loves to rub my back for hours on end without expecting anything sexual in return. Of course I'll return the favor.

I want someone to tell me over and over how much they love and appreciate me as a woman, and notice my strengths, not just my weaknesses (I already know what they are, I'm working on them).


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