# How to make offer to settle after Complaint for Divorce is filed and served?



## Divorcing1 (May 21, 2019)

How Could I reach out and ask spouse if open to settling before getting too far into the process?
Spouse was open to settling 4 weeks ago (to avoid a costly divorce) before hiring an attorney however up until that point spouse was also unreasonable. 

20+ year marriage
No Minor Children
No Fault State
Equitable Distribution State
Spouse deserted and abandoned the marital home and all financial responsibilities
Separated and living apart
Spouse did not contribute to mortgage or home maintanence after leaving
We did not provide any support to one another since separation
Marital home was sold and proceeds remain in Attorney Escrow Account
Divorce was filed and served after the home was sold.
Spouses attorney has filed the Answer to Complaint.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

Dude, you’ve been divorcing for 4 years now and as far as you’ve gotten is her answering the suit? Why are you dragging your feet?


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## Divorcing1 (May 21, 2019)

RebuildingMe said:


> Dude, you’ve been divorcing for 4 years now and as far as you’ve gotten is her answering the suit? Why are you dragging your feet?


I procrastinated. I admit that it's been a long seperation which was a mistake. I finally filed the complaint for divorce and the complaint was served on my spouse about 45 days ago. 

I'm motivated to move forward now.


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## 342693 (Mar 2, 2020)

Once lawyers are involved, good luck reversing course. I would just try to work out the best deal for you as quickly as possible.


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## Livvie (Jan 20, 2014)

You have multiple threads about this divorce, another you just started a few days ago. Why don’t you stick to one thread?


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## VladDracul (Jun 17, 2016)

Make the offer through your attorney. The attorneys can work it out with the courts. What is your goal?


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

You need to do it through your attorney. The only thing you're supposed to have attorney costs whether you hire one for yourself or not. If you can come to a settlement that you can both agree on through your attorneys, if you want then you can do mediation and you still have the option of continuing with attorneys after mediation and your attorneys can come to mediation and do most of the talking for you. But if you're not agreeing on the settlement then you need to let the attorneys work it out along with the court if necessary.


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## Divorcing1 (May 21, 2019)

VladDracul said:


> Make the offer through your attorney. The attorneys can work it out with the courts. What is your goal?


My goal is to be as close to 50/50 as possible. No alimony. Settle as soon as possible to keep out of pocket costs absolute minimal.


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

After four years why would she trust you would actually settle? If I was in her shoes there's no way I would trust you after all this time, I would assume it's just another stall tactic. 

If you want to settle do this. Write up a fair division of assets and meet her at her attorneys office ready to sign. That's how you settle before going further in the process.


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## Anastasia6 (May 28, 2017)

I doubt that’s what she’d get going to court so why would she settle?

She’d get 1/2 and alimony.


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## D0nnivain (Mar 13, 2021)

Draft a proposed property settlement agreement & send it to her. Spell out the division of everything. Depending on what she comes back with as a counter, just say yes so you get this over with already.

Even if it's 60/40 her favor, you'd be out.


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