# success after cheating?



## broken a (Aug 18, 2012)

I'm new here and I've posted my story on here, but I'm just curious has anyone had a good success after your husband cheated!? There was no sex just mainly an EA but they did kiss.. it didn't get too far and lasted a couple months on and off because she had a BF, but I'm just curious if anyone has been threw the same thing and give me positive advice?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

There are a few here who have had successful R's so hang in there. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LookingForTheAnswer (Dec 21, 2011)

Hi Broken,

Yes! I firmly believe that many of the divorces you hear about after one of the partners cheats are due to one or both not willing to work on the relationship. If you are both committed to working on it (and stick to certain ground rules, such as honesty, respect, genuinly showing love and, of course, trust) you have every chance of putting your relationship back together.

In my case, my husband is bipolar and cheated on me when he was manic. The disease and the fact he is now on medication has not made it any easier for us, yet with hard work on both sides and sometimes a lot of patience and understanding we are going from strength to strength. So hang in there! 

I would like to stress that the work does have to come from BOTH sides. I know from my own experience that it is sometimes hard to accept that as the 'injured party' you still have to put work into salvaging the relationship. After all, he's the one who cheated! But sometimes stuff like your own self-esteem issues (in general or as a result of the affair) can throw a spanner in the works, so you have to be mindful of those things. Good and frequent communication is a big factor, too, of course. My hubby, for one, is not the greatest of communicators, but I know he has gone above and beyond his natural capacities for me and that alone means a lot. 

Finally, don't expect TOO much from either him or you. No matter how hard you both try, these things can take a lot of time before you truly get over them, sometimes even years. So don't get frustrated with yourself if you get overly emotional or if it takes time for you to heal. This is normal and you will have good and bad days. Also explain to your OH that he should respect the fact that this is not going to go away overnight and should be patient with you. You will only be able to heal in your own time.

Good luck!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I was the listening ear to a good friend - who forgave her husband, it was more than an EA, he wasn't bipolor but had some ADHD issues, was on adderal or something...this was 10 yrs ago....she was refusing him sex unless the whole house was clean & every bill was paid, he was stressed out at work, things like that....It was short lived... but intercourse was involved. 

They have rebuilt their marraige beautifully, have known them since HIgh school, they talk to us openly about these things, to me & my husband, last time they were here, he sat in our living room, talking about it again -how he will never be able to look himself in the mirror again the same way before that day.....

But he LOVES his wife from the bottom of his heart, his actions has showed since... they have 4 kids together, a very loved dad... Her church wanted her to divorce him, I never jumped to that advise with my friend when she needed her friends. 

He speaks vehemently against cheating, because he KNOWS what it did to his wife, he can't totally wash that from himself...

He can't take it back, but he can be the best man he can be NOW and forever in the time he has left. This is his attitude .

If there is great remorse there, and love still between the 2, I feel it can be worked out- personally. All situations are different.


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## bellamaxjoy (Oct 27, 2011)

My husband and I have successfully repaired our marriage after his midlife crisis EA. It is not always easy, we are a year out, but if you are BOTH committed you can do it. You need to explain to your husband, and I do have to reiterate this to my DH, that it doesnt go away over night. I may not think about it for weeks, then something triggers it. I tell my DH that, and tell him I need extra affection during those times. Make sure your hubs is as committed to reconciliation as you are.


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