# Parents Hate Husband



## CrazyCatGirl (Nov 29, 2010)

Hello. 

I need some help--I have been going through a dilemma as of the last (almost) two years. My parents, more so my mother, hate my husband. 

We got married in a rush, and for a reason that I now see as silly, but we love each other dearly. Yes, we hurried, and for the wrong reasons, but neither of us regret doing so. 

Here is the deal: My mom hates my husband with a burning passion. Why? Because I married him in a rush and she thinks he probably doesn't treat me right or support me financially. 

He is a warehouse manager for a large company. I work part time as a teacher and part time in retail until I get my college diploma (yes, I am a 6 year college student). He makes three times what I make. 

I had to borrow gas money from her one day and she accused him of using all the money, all the gas, and not giving me anything. I told her the reason: I have had multiple doctor visits and hospitalizations for the last year or so and insurance only covers so much. 

She and I had a vicious falling out some time ago and I ended up in the hospital from attempted suicide. I felt so guilty because of our fight and because of what she was going through (because of me and what I had said), I did not even want her to know. She only found out recently and I think she truly wants to accuse my husband for it! 

He takes care of me when I am sick, pays ALL of my doctor debt, pays rent, and maintains the house. I don't know how he does it all working full time, but he does. He is an amazing man and it hurts me so much when my mother makes snarky, hurtful comments toward him. 

The other thing is he and my mother had a fight before we got married. He has since apologized, but my mother thinks I forced him to do so. He is too stubborn for me to even attempt to force him to do anything, and I was just as shocked about the apology as she was. 

Anyway, I need help. More than likely more Xanax (still have feelings of suicide...I know she thinks I could do "so much better" than my husband, and I feel like if I wasn't around maybe things would be better all around.)

One more thing: She told me recently that she and my father were splitting up because I ran off and got married. I am unstable to begin with, why would she make me feel even more guilty? 

I really need help. I am scared, stressed, and have no idea what to do.


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## Amberwaves (Nov 26, 2010)

Your mother needs to back off, seriously. He is a good man, he supports you emotionally and financially, and you are happy with him and love him. Maybe she is jealous? She is being very mean. You are an adult woman who can make her own decisions. Please don't take anything she says seriously. You are allowing her to hurt you and your marriage. Have some compassion for yourself. You don't deserve this from her.
I think you may need to physically and emotionally get away from her. That could possibly create more resentment from her, but at this point, you are fragile, you need to break the umbilical cord, and protect yourself. Maybe later she will accept it. But if she doesn't, that's her problem. She needs to show love and care for you no matter what is going on in your life, and she is not doing that. Perhaps she is hurt because she was left out of the wedding? If so, all you can do is apologize, and then she needs to get over it. For now, it really sounds like some distance would do you some good. Just my own opinion and advice, hope this helps.


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## Country Apple (Nov 7, 2010)

Your husband sounds like a good man and it seems like you love each other. Do not let your mother continue to speak about your husband in a disrespectful tone. You are not the cause of your mother having marital problems. If your mother treats your father like she treats you then there is no wonder there are problems. You need to inform your mother that she needs to respect your husband and that if she doesn't you will not be involved with her. Allowing your mother to disrespect your husband will only cause problems between you and your husband. It is very sad to cut your mother out but she is toxic and you don't need that in your life.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Country Apple said:


> Your husband sounds like a good man and it seems like you love each other. Do not let your mother continue to speak about your husband in a disrespectful tone. You are not the cause of your mother having marital problems. If your mother treats your father like she treats you then there is no wonder there are problems. You need to inform your mother that she needs to respect your husband and that if she doesn't you will not be involved with her. Allowing your mother to disrespect your husband will only cause problems between you and your husband. It is very sad to cut your mother out but she is toxic and you don't need that in your life.


This is great advice. I have a toxic, abusive mother too.My parents didn't show any support when I recently married, because I wouldn't let them plan a big splashy wedding for us. 
I recently saw a psychiatrist due to my severe depression. After listening to me speak of my cruel mother, he concluded that she has emotional problems and shows no respect. "Just because she is your mother, it doesn't mean she can walk all over you.
Sweetie, our mothers are jealous and hateful. This is why they try to sabotage our happiness.
Don't let her win. Stay away from her and you will live a happier life, with your husband.Never ask cruel parents for help. They will simply use that against you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## angela85 (Jan 2, 2011)

Why would such mother wont let you happy? Maybe she is over protected...Why not telll her to live in your house for a month or hire a detective so that she will know what the two of you doing.. Its silly also to take suicide because of your mom. Haven't think about your husband in doing so? If you willl die did you think what it gives impact to your husbands life?
Have a heart to heart talk with your mother. You couldnt step forward because your mother is blocking the way. You are big enough to make decisions in life. What ever the reason you two in getting married is not important as long as you love each other.


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