# After the lies do you forgive and forget?



## oldfool (Aug 9, 2012)

I been dating a older guy 62 for 10 months everything was great until the 4th month, then the lies began. For about a week he claims he wasn't feeling well and had some health issues and was bleeding when he used the restroom, he later thought I could have gave a STD.I had been celebate for a 1yr and a half before him and get tested yearly, I was pissed he went there.

The next few weeks he depressed dont want to wake up life sucked he wanted no part of it. I was concerned and felt he wasn't stable..I encourage him uplifted him and said luv you after a end of a text and got cussed out. I gave him space for 2 months and stayed away. he wanted to be left alone..He would come by my job and call I refused to be treated badly or talk to any kind of way. Think he was horny and tried to mend fence

For my birthday he paid for a item for my business which I never got. after 3 weeks I called and order them myself the order taker said my order had been canceled and he never reorder anything else. the confirmation went to him because the first order was in his email and i would have to remake the item.

I got cussed out when the confirmation arrived in his inbox and was accused of breaking into his things he need to change bank info etc etc , I was hurt.

After 2 months of staying away he tells me he lied about bleeding, he felt I was getting to close.

he makes comments about females all the time and i learned he text one he misses her sweet ass she ask how are you he replied could be better if she was here. I was cussed out Im like let me see what she wrote, when he brought up how do you delete all these text messages and named me and her

recently I was online checking my email and peeked at his since he left it open he had been answering very nasty ads to women on craigslist for sex, the language is disturbing. I was so hurt after seeing it i just got dressed and left without saying goodbye.

he recently made a trip down the road to visit a old friend but lied and said he was going to take photos of the boats in the area he also writes to a young women on facebook thousand of miles away but claims he trying to set up his son with her and they dated in the past she and his son long stupid story.

the night before I had dreamed everything he had told me before he did. it was all lies and I slapped him in my dream

I have cried for 2 days over this man that I fell in love with although he lie all the time I'm the only one with keys to the house and I'm thier all the time. I don't think he has every cheated on me and he says no of course he will say that

He thinks he has done nothing wrong but lie to me and isn't sorry only for that because he hasn't done anything I guess sex wise.He thinks we should work it out. I'm hurt but love him very much after the ads on craigslist I don't think I can ever get passed it. don't trust him and never will again. Am I being to hard on him?

He write to his ex how much he loves and misses her he cried after reading her notes to him he writes her. he continues to focus on other women behind my back. 

I'm to hurt to even try to work things out I cant work things out it's to much and seems so dumb, the lies are to many now the sneaky behavior is unacceptable for a older man i'm 48..

Do you move on be friends Nothing intimate or just move on completely no contact.


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## kate542 (Jul 25, 2012)

You are not married to him have no children with him, walk away he sounds very insecure and doesn't want a serious relationship. People who lie go on lying it becomes a habit with some people. this man is making you miserable that's not what life and relationships are about leave him before it's too late and get on with having a good life with someone who appreciates you.


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## Jojara (Aug 1, 2012)

I agree with the last post....let your wounds heal and move on.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Unless you need a platonic friend of the opposite sex (and I know I sure don't) drop this guy and find a husband


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

How old are you?

Read your post over and over. What would you tell someone who wrote that post? 

This is not a man ready for any kind of committed relationship. Instead of him telling you that he wants to see/do whatever he wants, he's leading you on just enough to keep you around. YOu are probably just a convient booty call for him.

Get away from this guy. He's bad news.


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## oldfool (Aug 9, 2012)

sometime he couldn't even get it up, don't think he was with other women for that reason couldn't do much..I still enjoyed his company we had alot of great times together..He is to sneaky, the biggest liar in the world, he blowing up the phone with generic conversation I have moved on the day I walked out his house.I would be a fool to trust him or sleep with him again..I'm not ugly or desperate..ready to smile again..He drained me.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I don't think he's relationship material. You can do better. If you stay you'll just be reassuring him that this kind of behavior keeps you around. Who needs that? The point of dating is discovery, you've discovered he nuts out in a relationship, what more is there to know?


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

Ah... just walk away.


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

oldfool said:


> sometime he couldn't even get it up, don't think he was with other women for that reason couldn't do much..I still enjoyed his company we had alot of great times together..He is to sneaky, the biggest liar in the world, he blowing up the phone with generic conversation I have moved on the day I walked out his house.I would be a fool to trust him or sleep with him again..I'm not ugly or desperate..ready to smile again..He drained me.


So smile  You don't seem like an oldfool at all!


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## lola_b (Aug 28, 2009)

Don't walk away...RUN AWAY!!! Seriously, he does not sound like relationship material. Lies is definitely one of my deal breakers, trust is so important in building a healthy relationship.


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## jane1213 (Aug 10, 2012)

Just walk away. You are wasting your valuable time with him.


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## AFEH (May 18, 2010)

oldfool said:


> He thinks he has done nothing wrong but lie to me ....


The guy sounds like a total ass, but the above tells you all you need to know.

It tells you he’s a pathological, compulsive and habitual liar. Probably been like it all his life. A man with zero integrity and zero credibility is not a man at all.


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## Writer (Aug 3, 2012)

You're not married to him and have been dating for ten months. He's a habitual liar, and, given his past record, he will continue to lie. This man is not relationship material. Get out of the relationship. Don't attempt to be friends with him.


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## CyrusMccasl (Aug 13, 2012)

This is not a man ready for any kind of committed relationship.


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## AllanM (Aug 13, 2012)

You aren't a fool...you just wanted a connection, as we all do.

But this isn't the guy...drop him like a bad habit...


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

He's immature, unfaithful, and shady. He can't give you what you're looking for. Walk away and find someone who can.


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