# Confused - No attraction



## starsgoalie48 (Apr 25, 2016)

Hello everyone,

I am a 31 year old guy...feel like I perhaps got married too young at 23. Fell in love with a great woman and I admit fully to screwing up the relationship with infidelities, addictions, I was also in the Army and had a couple overseas deployments. Even through all of that mess we stayed together and both (most of the time) have been VERY happy to be each others partner. However, I have either always had (honestly can't remember through all the haze) a lack of physical attraction...obviously I WAS attracted to her or we would never have been together, but not like an all consuming passionate sex life. Now, fast forward and I really don't have any. The problem is that we have this incredible love and bond. It is just a weird one. It is almost like a sister or a best friend or really just a life "partner" in the full sense of the word. It is terrible. We both feel this...we are considering divorce. I obviously feel like I am with the wrong person attraction wise and that it is weird to be married to someone you just aren't physically passionate for...but the problem is I feel I could never get a bond like this with someone else, it is THAT strong and the LOVE is that strong. It just feels like such a platonic love. So confused...any experiences/thoughts appreciated!

G

Edit: A few more random thoughts:

1) Don't know if this may or may not matter but we are both very attractive human beings...I can acknowledge that I am married to a beautiful woman...it is not like a beauty and the beast thing going on here...which strikes me as weird.

2) Louis C.K. is "famously" divorced...he talks about in his stand up a lot. And I think he is very insightful and spot on. In one bit he says, and I am paraphrasing, that divorce isn't bad or something to feel bad about because no good marriage ever ends in divorce...so in a way you are actually improving your position in life, which is nothing to feel bad about....that makes sense to me except I am in a great relationship with a nice comfortable life together...it's just...off...

3) This has been going on for years without resolution. We talk about it often...my wife is actually...drumroll...a COUNSELOR...so we have that going for us but nothing gets resolved...

Thanks for ANY replies or similar experiences


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