# Do I belong here?



## Barth

I am divorced and believe being in a relationship is a healthy way of life.
But that marriage is a very broken institution; filled with legal and social problems.

What do you think?


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## Barth

!


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## john117

With few details it's not easy to come up with opinions. In most cases what you wrote would be accurate, and I don't consider it an alternative lifestyle in itself.


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## Lostinthought61

What is it you want from this relationship....are both of you monogamous? Do you want to stay that way? In some state they consider 10 year relationship common law husband and wife...may I ask what your concerns are long term if you do not define your relationship?


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## Emerging Buddhist

What would your partners reasons be for getting married?


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## anchorwatch

*Do I belong here?*

I see no reason why not. Your description of your long term relationship works well for you. Do you have others being critical about your LTR? 





Barth said:


> Wow, 30 hits in 30 minutes and no dissenting comments. Guess that is affirmation...


The introduction forum isn't a popular place for discussion and it's also a bit slow here on the weekend

Best


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## cc48kel

Of course you belong here.... If I ever divorce, I highly doubt I would marry again. I would be ok dating and being in a long term relationship. My aunt has been with her guy for 20 plus years-- I have wondered why no marriage BUT now that I'm older it's not a big deal. They are always happy. The one thing is, if he dies will she be kicked out of the house as it's in his name.. That's her business but that's the only thing I see 'ify' being in a LTR. With them being in their 70's I hope they get the financial/legal stuff straightened out.


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## Spicy

First off, welcome to TAM.

It really depends on the two people in the relationship. For instance, when I met my H he had never been married, and saw no point in it. He didn't need that "piece of paper". On the other hand, my core beliefs do require marriage for myself.

If you both agree you don't need be married, and have no other guidelines you follow (religious, cultural etc) then the answer is easy. Conversely, if she wants to be married, and you don't, here is where comes compromise. 

In our relationship, when we got married, nothing changed. Still hasn't.

If your 10 year relationship is great, then there is no reason to think giving each other vows will put the relationship in peril. It would have died an natural death anyway.


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## Satya

If you spent the 30 minutes reading here, you may have come to your own conclusions.

We are for the most part a mixed bunch here. I think the primary thing we mostly all believe in is fidelity.


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## arbitrator

*If you innately feel that the planned marriage is not going to do you any good, or at least be psychologically beneficial to you, then why on earth risk it?*


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