# Divorce rates extrapolation



## BoSlander (5 mo ago)

Hello all!

Just a bit of math from a statistics freak... If 79% of all divorces in the USA are started by women and 45% of all married couples end up divorcing... I'm no math major but, doesn't it mean that, at any given time, AT LEAST 36% of all married women in the USA right now live in an unhappily, therefore adultery-exposed, marriage? 

Anyone care to wager that the REAL adultery rates among women are at least twice the rate that are usually publicized?


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

JBLH said:


> Hello all!
> 
> Just a bit of math from a statistics freak... If 79% of all divorces in the USA are started by women and 45% of all married couples end up divorcing... I'm no math major but, doesn't it mean that, at any given time, AT LEAST 36% of all married women in the USA right now live in an unhappily, therefore adultery-exposed, marriage?
> 
> Anyone care to wager that the REAL adultery rates among women are at least twice the rate that are usually publicized?


Hard to say, you have to take into consideration the fact that not all people would cheat, even being unhappy.


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## BoSlander (5 mo ago)

happyhusband0005 said:


> Hard to say, you have to take into consideration the fact that not all people would cheat, even being unhappy.


Yes, but that distortion is (comfortably) offset by the people that WOULD cheat but happen to get divorced first. 

Numbers don't lie. It's an epidemic that is bound to get worse... and those of us with sons better start speaking up because the suicide rates among men is going exponential.


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## Gregory Chaucery (12 mo ago)

JBLH said:


> Yes, but that distortion is (comfortably) offset by the people that WOULD cheat but happen to get divorced first.
> 
> Numbers don't lie. It's an epidemic that is bound to get worse... and those of us with sons better start speaking up because the suicide rates among men is going exponential.


One thing to take into account is that the majority of those who divorce are repeat divorcees. 
It's their way to cope with a relationship that has a dip in it. They don't have the wherewithal to work through a marriages difficulties, so they divorce.
I think I have read that upwards of 75% of people who marry stay married. The other 25% are just repeatedly divorcing, driving up the average.


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## BeyondRepair007 (Nov 4, 2021)

Gregory Chaucery said:


> One thing to take into account is that the majority of those who divorce are repeat divorcees.
> It's their way to cope with a relationship that has a dip in it. They don't have the wherewithal to work through a marriages difficulties, so they divorce.
> I think I have read that upwards of 75% of people who marry stay married. The other 25% are just repeatedly divorcing, driving up the average.


Whoa... I never heard that stat before, it's actually encouraging. Google here I come.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

JBLH said:


> Hello all!
> 
> Just a bit of math from a statistics freak... If 79% of all divorces in the USA are started by women and 45% of all married couples end up divorcing... I'm no math major but, doesn't it mean that, at any given time, AT LEAST 36% of all married women in the USA right now live in an unhappily, therefore adultery-exposed, marriage?
> 
> Anyone care to wager that the REAL adultery rates among women are at least twice the rate that are usually publicized?


You make the assumption that it isn’t the man cheating that is causing the divorce and even moreover you are making the assumption infidelity is the reason for every case. The one who files first doesn’t have to be the cause … they just decided to start the process. I would bet the reason it is more often started by women is because they have a greater capacity to look at marriage from a practical standpoint than men. The original post comes off as most divorces are the result of cheating women and the “REAL”rates are double what is usually quoted.

In my opinion your statistics are way off based on your many assumptions…..all unilaterally against women.


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## BoSlander (5 mo ago)

Gregory Chaucery said:


> One thing to take into account is that the majority of those who divorce are repeat divorcees.
> It's their way to cope with a relationship that has a dip in it. They don't have the wherewithal to work through a marriages difficulties, so they divorce.
> I think I have read that upwards of 75% of people who marry stay married. The other 25% are just repeatedly divorcing, driving up the average.


I would tend to agree but... like I said, numbers don't lie: in order for that number (75%) to be correct, the amount of repeat offenders (divorcees who end up remarrying) would have to be so large that it renders the 75% statistically improbable, if not impossible. The divorce/marriage rates are publicized annually, and averages *tend to smooth out with time*. It takes an unusual and external effort to move something that is within the 95% probability bell out of it. And the reality is that there is nothing happening right now to explain the bump from a 55% to 75% of successful marriages.


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## Gregory Chaucery (12 mo ago)

JBLH said:


> I would tend to agree but... like I said, numbers don't lie: in order for that number (75%) to be correct, the amount of repeat offenders (divorcees who end up remarrying) would have to be so large that it renders the 75% statistically improbable, if not impossible. The divorce/marriage rates are publicized annually, and averages *tend to smooth out with time*. It takes an unusual and external effort to move something that is within the 95% probability bell out of it. And the reality is that there is nothing happening right now to explain the bump from a 55% to 75% of successful marriages.


Currently, 22% of women and 21% of men have ever been divorced. That means that almost 80% of both have never been divorced. 
I don't know how many have never married, which would be part of that.

What is the Actual US Divorce Rate and Risk? - Public Discourse (thepublicdiscourse.com)


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## BoSlander (5 mo ago)

Mr.Married said:


> You make the assumption that it isn’t the man cheating that is causing the divorce


No assuming anything. Men commit adultery at a rate of 20%, compared to female's 13%. 

The male/female divorce ratio is 1:4.

The male/female adultery ratio 1.5:1. 

Adultery IS NOT the answer to the 80% divorce rate number. Women are simply walking away from perfectly good marriages.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

BeyondRepair007 said:


> Whoa... I never heard that stat before, it's actually encouraging. Google here I come.


Yeah, I don't know what the actual statistics and numbers are, but divorce rates often include those that have been divorced multiple times. 

But statistics also do not account for those that have separated but have not gotten around to legally divorcing. I've known couples that have literally been separated and moved on with separate lives for YEARS without officially divorcing. 

And the fact that people have not divorced does not mean that they are in happy or healthy marriages. 

People often point to divorce rates as a sign of the collapse of society and dogs and cats living together in mass hysteria. 

But we need to keep in mind that just a matter of decades ago, the common man and woman on the street often COULDN'T divorce even though they may have wanted to or even needed to real bad. 

Divorce has always been accessible to the wealthy in the US but to the working and lower classes it was often too financially burdensome often leaving both partners and the children in actual poverty. 

There were also a lot of legal barriers in place where people had to prove life threatening abuse or chronic adultery or complete abandonment before a divorce would be granted. 

So while it's easy to demonize divorce, we need to keep in mind it is also a product of a free society where the individual has rights and means to get out of a bad situation.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

JBLH said:


> . Women are simply walking away from perfectly good marriages.


I disagree with that statement and find the sentence in itself to be contradictory. 

If they considered it a good marriage, they wouldn't be walking away from it. 

Now they may be walking away from what YOU consider a good marriage, but you aren't the one in their house. 

The purpose of the no-fault divorce movement was so that other could not determine which marriages were bad enough to divorce and which weren't. Part of being a free and democratic society was in allowing the individual to determine if the marriage was good for them or not.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> People often point to divorce rates as a sign of the collapse of society and *dogs and cats living together in mass hysteria*.


Lolol!!!


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

I'm sure with research on all the statistics one could develop a fairly accurate equation that would give you a close approximation. 

But you would have to account for the reasons why women initiated the divorce. Some of those are cheating husbands. But I think you could find enough data to get close to the real numbers. 

I don't think women are to blame for a rise in male suicide rates. I'm sure you can find data on that though. I think a big part of that is there are a lot of kids especially the under 30 group that have been raised by parents doing everything for them and telling them they are special and the world is their oyster. Then they get out in the real world and find out they have been lied to their whole life, there's nothing particularly special about them. Thats why I praise my kids for their talents and don't sugar coat it when they're not good at stuff. Kids need to understand life is a bloodsport. Survival of the fittest is real.


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## Gregory Chaucery (12 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> I disagree with that statement and find the sentence in itself to be contradictory.
> 
> If they considered it a good marriage, they wouldn't be walking away from it.
> 
> ...


I think it depends on what is meant by a good marriage.
Many of these marriages that end, just simply ended. 
There was no abuse and both partners were contributors, but our culture now has little tolerance for personal difficulties.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

JBLH said:


> Adultery IS NOT the answer to the 80% divorce rate number. Women are simply walking away from perfectly good marriages.


Because women have the financial incentive to do so.


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## LisaDiane (Jul 22, 2019)

JBLH said:


> Hello all!
> 
> Just a bit of math from a statistics freak... If 79% of all divorces in the USA are started by women and 45% of all married couples end up divorcing... I'm no math major but, doesn't it mean that, at any given time, AT LEAST 36% of all married women in the USA right now live in an unhappily, therefore adultery-exposed, marriage?
> 
> Anyone care to wager that the REAL adultery rates among women are at least twice the rate that are usually publicized?


I am SO tired of hearing that women filing for the majority of divorces means that they are responsible for them...that is absolutely NOT true.

What those stats do NOT show is the STORY behind each divorce (women's AND men's). MANY times the men who are being divorced are either unwilling to be married and don't care about the legal parts, or they want their wives to take care of it.

My mother filed for divorce from my father for cheating in 1973 because he would not come back and be a husband and father. 

I divorced my EX last year after we had been separated for over for 18 months and HE asked me to do everything SO I WOULD BE THE ONE PAYING FOR IT (it was simple, no-fault, no-lawyers).

My neighbor divorced her husband so he could qualify for rehab for an alcohol problem.

You simply CANNOT take those statistics to mean anything personal about the situations of the people who represent them.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

JBLH said:


> Anyone care to wager that the REAL adultery rates among women are at least twice the rate that are usually publicized?


Now to address this question, first I think we need to replace the word 'women' with the word 'people'. It's not just women having affairs and if it was only women having affairs, does that mean they are all lesbians? 

But as far as actual statistics and hard data on the actual number of adultery rates, I don't think we have a clue nor have current statistics even scratched the surface. 

Adultery by it's very nature is behind closed doors away from prying eyes and is kept secret. 

We also need to keep in mind the average life expectancy of people in the west is roughly 80 years. A lot can happen in 80. 
The number of people that have cheated today is not the same as the number at the end of the business day tomorrow. 

Statistics and research studies also tend to catogorize infidelity as a binary yes/no. 

Yes, someone cheated. But it may have been 30 years ago one time with one other person and they are in a different marriage now and have not cheated in current relationship. 

And no, some may not have cheated as of yet so they would statistically be considered faithful per the research data. But what isn't reflected is that their partner has consistently rejected them for the past 5 years of sexless marriage and Monday morning a new and very attractive person is going to start working at their workplace or joining their gym or whatever. 

My personal beliefs are that humans are very sexual beings that spend a good bit of their energy and daily life trying to NOT have sexual contact and connection with the myriad of people they encounter during the course of a typical day. Break downs in that process are part of the human experience and part of the natural world. 

We are simply not life-long maters that get a mate when we reach sexual maturity and then spend the rest of our lives with that one mate in perfect contentment and harmony. 

The syndicated sex and relationship columnist Dan Savage once said that the people that 40, 50 and even 60+ year marriages that only slip up or stumble a couple times are actually GOOD at monogamy. 

There's probably a lot of truth to that statement but we tend to see one sexual contact outside of a 50 year marriage as a complete system failure. 

Is somebody with a spotless driving record for 40 years a bad driver if they run a stop light and cause a wreck one day? 

They certainly were that day and they cause harm and damage and pain with their actions that time and they need to be held accountable. 

But like driving, most people are not going to cause a wreck and hurt someone most of the time. But by the end of 80 year lifespans a number of people will not have caused a wreck, hopefully most will not have. But that's a long time for anyone to maintain a perfect driving record. 

And out of those that never caused a wreck, there will be a good number of those that did run a red light or exceeded the posted speed limit or made an illegal left hand turn, but they did not cause a wreck and no one was there to catch them or issue them a ticket.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

LisaDiane said:


> I am SO tired of hearing that women filing for the majority of divorces means that they are responsible for them...that is absolutely NOT true.
> 
> What those stats do NOT show is the STORY behind each divorce (women's AND men's). MANY times the men who are being divorced are either unwilling to be married and don't care about the legal parts, or they want their wives to take care of it.
> 
> ...


I respect just about everything you say. I’m sure there are case like yours and the examples you gave. However, can you explain the fact that women start the divorce 80% of the time and then end up with custody about 80% of the time. We all know custody = money. There’s a pattern.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

We also need to consider that what is considered "adultery" is not static and falls on spectrum and there is no clear cut consensus on what everyone considers cheating. 

Some people consider holding eye contact with a smile for more than 1.75 seconds is cheating. Some people are ok with actual sexual intercourse within certain boundaries and guidelines. Some people are ok with love and affection and time spent with another person as long as there is no intercourse. The list goes on and on on what different people find acceptable and what is not. 

And even within those criteria, that all can be a moving target as well. Things that were a no no at one stage of a marriage may be OK under certain conditions and guidelines at another stage. And vice versa, things that may have be OK in the past, but be completely off the table at another stage. 

So I will refer back to my earlier statement that out of an 80 year lifespan, the actual number of times someone may have stepped over some line at some point in their lives, is going to be waaaaaayyyyy above any number that anyone is going to be able to look up on Google.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

RebuildingMe said:


> I respect just about everything you say. I’m sure there are case like yours and the examples you gave. However, can you explain the fact that women start the divorce 80% of the time and then end up with custody about 80% of the time. We all know custody = money. There’s a pattern.


Custody 80% of the time TODAY??? 

I would have believed women got custody 80% of the time 50 years ago, but at least here in the US, I question that percentage. 

And in terms of money, whoever makes the most money is going to be the one the most at least of losing the most. 

Historically that was almost always the man as it was customary for the man to be the primary and often even the sole income provider in days of yore. 

But that has shifted over time as dual income earners has become more common and as women are even becoming the primary wage earners. 

Are the court systems infallible and completely fair and balanced at all times? No of course not. 

But it's not fair or accurate to present old-order statistics as a present reality. 

The bottom line is the courts are obligated to ensure that minor children are provided for and that someone is taking care of them and they are being housed, fed, clothed and educated. Someone has to provide that care and someone has to pay for it. 

Shared custody is pretty much the default today unless one or other parent is determined to be unfit or a threat to the child's safety and well being. If both parents have incomes which is typically the case, then both parents will be expected to provide financially for the children. If one parent makes significantly more than the other, he OR SHE will be expected to contribute more. 

And we also need to remember that some times, one of the other parent will voluntarily waive their parental rights or at least waive custody. When that occurs, it is more often the man than the woman although I have personally known of a few women to do it too. But when that occurs, it is more often the man.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Gregory Chaucery said:


> I think it depends on what is meant by a good marriage.
> Many of these marriages that end, just simply ended.
> There was no abuse and both partners were contributors, but our culture now has little tolerance for personal difficulties.


Which raises the question of how much "personal difficulty" should people have to endure? 

Again, do we want society to determine who gets to have a divorce when they are miserable, which will be administered through laws, courts, judges and juries?

Or do we allow the individual to decide when they have had enough? 

Should we as a society tell people that they haven't suffered enough and they have to stay until they are beaten and/or cheated on or until their partner is a completely ineffectual pile of protoplasm due to acoholism/drug addiction/mental illness etc etc?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

oldshirt said:


> Should we as a society tell people that they haven't suffered enough and they have to stay until they are beaten and/or cheated on or until their partner is a completely ineffectual pile of protoplasm due to acoholism/drug addiction/mental illness etc etc?


Let me give a micro-level example of this out of my own family. 

My first cousin married young almost 40 years ago. She was young and her H was a bit older and a number of the aunts and uncles and grandparents did look upon their engagement announcement with a bit of furled brow, but he was gainfully employed and she was sincere in her aspirations of being a good wife and mother and homemaker etc. 

At some point within the first few years she began telling her parents that he was being an ass, was drinking more and was calling her names and being a butt to her. 

They gave her the parental lecture that marriage was hard work and that they needed to communicate and work out their differences and that if she was to be housewife and mother and homemaker, she needed to be not be so confrontational and nagging and bi+chy etc and they sent her back telling her to work harder. 

This went on for a bit and she was sent back after being told what to say to him and what she needed to do to be a better wife and homemaker etc etc. 

Then one night there was frantic banging on my Aunt and Uncle's door in the middle of the night, and when they answered the door, there she was in a bloody nightgown, with eyes almost swollen shut to where she could barely see, missing a couple teeth and a broken nose with the baby in her arms covered in her blood. 

At what point in that sequence of events had she suffered enough?????

Did my Aunt and Uncle do the right thing by waiting until she escaped in the middle of the night and managed to get the car keys and make it to their house before her eyes swelled completely shut?

Or perhaps could they have supported her and considered a divorce as a viable option before she was bloody and fleeing with a baby in the middle of the night?

At what point do people suffer enough before we as a society can bless and condone someone else's divorce???


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> Custody 80% of the time TODAY???
> 
> I would have believed women got custody 80% of the time 50 years ago, but at least here in the US, I question that percentage.
> 
> ...


See #5 and then #6









30+ Divisive Child Custody Statistics | Legaljobs


Did you know that parents settle 90% of child custody cases without a judge’s ruling. Find out more interesting child custody statistics in this article.




legaljobs.io


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

RebuildingMe said:


> See #5 and then #6
> 
> 
> 
> ...


OK but read the other 34 points in the article. When the other points of the article are taken as a whole, it goes along with what I was saying.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

JBLH said:


> It's an epidemic that is bound to get worse... and those of us with sons better start speaking up because the suicide rates among men is going exponential.


I have a son that just turned 18 so I get it. I also have a 20 year old daughter so I strive to see all sides to this. 

I am sure some will disagree with this approach but I have strived to raise my kids so that they are aware of the risks and benefits of relationships and marriage and child bearing according to the realities of TODAY'S WORLD. 

I have not raised them on old-world paradigms. 

I have not raised them to believe that they will meet their one and only soulmate in their teens or early 20s and that they will live happily ever after in monogamy for the rest of their lives, nor have I raised them on rigid, traditional gender roles where the man shall be the sole breadwinner and the little wifey will wear aprons and over her dress and heels baking cookies all day like June Cleaver. 

My wife is an educated, working professional and we share both household and financial responsibilities as well as both provide child rearing and we are both capable of dividing assets and moving on separately and each living a productive and happy and healthy life and coparent as two single individuals. I may no bones about the fact that if my wife and I were to split, that both of us would be sad for awhile and shed a few tears in our pillows for a few nights that our hopes and plans for the future did not work out. But both of us would be able to live and carry on and find new loves and new interests and carry on with life. 

We are raising our kids to be able to do the same. 

If people are raised to be self supporting, independent and know that relationships are prone to break down but that if one relationship does not work out, people are able to recover and adapt and move on and find other relationships.... then there is no reason to put a gun to one's head because someone broke up with them. 

Now obviously the issue of suicide goes much deeper and many more facets and mental health issues than relationships breaking up, but my point here is yes times are different and the kids today have to be prepared for a different world than the one I grew up in 40 years ago when I was 18. 

My kids probably are going to experience multiple relationships, multiple break ups, heartbreak, infidelity and divorce in their lifetimes. It's my job as a parent to provide them with the knowledge, skills and resources to navigate those minefields. It's not my job to bi+ch about the world and hope the world changes and hope that they will somehow manage to avoid all that. 

It's not good enough to point fingers and lament the loss of the old world order and talk about how much worse things are today than yesteryear. It's important to teach both men and women that they will need to be able to support and take care of themselves and that they will survive marital issues and challenges and they will survive and be able to carry on and flourish after a divorce. 

Some people think that's wrong. Some think that promotes divorce. I do not think that. I actually believe the opposite. I think the better we are prepared for and better able to live post divorce, the more likely our marriage is to be successful. 

If both parties are in the marriage by choice and not neccessity or duress, and each party knows the other could walk if their needs are not being met, the greater the chances of both of them being good with it.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> OK but read the other 34 points in the article. When the other points of the article are taken as a whole, it goes along with what I was saying.


Equal time and custody are two very different things. While I agree most courts today support equal time with both parents, custodial parents get the money. That is still going to mom more often than not.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

LisaDiane said:


> I am SO tired of hearing that women filing for the majority of divorces means that they are responsible for them...that is absolutely NOT true.
> 
> What those stats do NOT show is the STORY behind each divorce (women's AND men's). MANY times the men who are being divorced are either unwilling to be married and don't care about the legal parts, or they want their wives to take care of it.
> 
> ...


I'm going to add something else to your response. 

I think one of the reasons that women file for divorce at higher rates than men is the consequences of staying in bad marriage are not as high for men. 

Men are typically not going to be killed, maimed or hospitalized by an abusive partner. Men don't breast feed and are not typically the primary child care provider of babies and very children that are dependent on other being productive and gainfully employed. Married men are typically at least self supportive in employment and not as likely to be left homeless, pennyless and hungry if their partner becomes incapacitated with alcoholism or drug addiction. Men are less likely to have undetected internal scarring and infertility as a result of undetected STIs should their partner be a recalcitrant cheater. And men are less likely to completely abandoned with small children without warning one day when their partner simply decides to take off. 

All of those things DO happen to men on occasion..... but at far less numbers and since men are typically the ones with greater incomes (although that is changing as well) they are not in as dependent of a situation as many women. 

In short, women often have to pull the ejection handle sooner because the stakes and consequences of them staying in a bad marriage are higher.


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## Rus47 (Apr 1, 2021)

JBLH said:


> Anyone care to wager that the REAL adultery rates among women are at least twice the rate that are usually publicized?


And what are the publicized rates of adulterous females? And why actual twice publicized?


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

RebuildingMe said:


> Equal time and custody are two very different things. While I agree most courts today support equal time with both parents, custodial parents get the money. That is still going to mom more often than not.


As long as women have uteruses and breasts, that will probably continue to be the case. 

Once they develop a male uterus and male breasts that produce adequate milk and men start carrying, delivering and nursing the offspring, then we may see a significant rise in fathers getting primary custody.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> As long as women have uteruses and breasts, that will probably continue to be the case.
> 
> Once they develop a male uterus and male breasts that produce adequate milk and men start carrying, delivering and nursing the offspring, then we may see a significant rise in fathers getting primary custody.


Exactly my point. There IS correlation between women starting divorces, getting custody, and getting on the husband’s payroll asap. Statistics support it overwhelmingly.


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## ShatteredKat (Mar 23, 2016)

“*There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics” — has been attributed to Mark Twain, who himself attributed it to British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli*


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## Bulfrog1987 (Oct 8, 2021)

Gregory Chaucery said:


> One thing to take into account is that the majority of those who divorce are repeat divorcees.
> It's their way to cope with a relationship that has a dip in it. They don't have the wherewithal to work through a marriages difficulties, so they divorce.
> I think I have read that upwards of 75% of people who marry stay married. The other 25% are just repeatedly divorcing, driving up the average.


This in particular I would agree with in its entirety. My late husband was a two time divorcee, our marriage was not going well, but I was hoping it was just a season. I think he knew in his heart I wasn't like his last two ex wives. He knew I was never there for anything he had (which he had NOTHING when we married.) He knew I wouldn't use our son against him or as leverage. Yet, he couldn't or wouldn't change. Refused it. He didn't want to go through divorce again I don't think (not that it was the driving force, I don't believe that was at all) but he instead ended his life, versus try to do better as a man, as a dad, as a spouse. 

So multiple divorces I think play a huge role.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

RebuildingMe said:


> Exactly my point. There IS correlation between women starting divorces, getting custody, and getting on the husband’s payroll asap. Statistics support it overwhelmingly.


OK but are you saying that in the event of a divorce that men should no longer provide for the children that they fathered? 

I do get your point in a way. It's true, that a woman could marry some guy, have his kids, find some other guy, leave her H, get custody of the kids and have the exH continue to pay child support while she goes off to the Bahammas and has sex on the beach with the OM. I get it. 

But what's the alternative? That if a woman is the one filing for divorce that father should not support his kids or be in their lives? 

Or that if a woman files that she should automatically relinquish her children?

It is a sh!tty deal I admit, but whats the solution? In the absence of a mother being unfit, Society and by proxy through the courts are always going to bias towards mothers for the care of young children. 

Kids have to be supported. Maybe in prehistoric tribal times if a mother or father ran away from the tribe or were eaten by a saber tooth tiger or something the children were taken out and killed so they wouldn't become a burden to the tribe, but that obviously isn't going to happen today and children are not going to be left to starve in the street as long at the parents have the means to support them. 

And as a taxpayer, I may be sorry that someone's wife left them, But I do not want to be the one footing the bill for that child's care. If you (not you you specifically) had sex with her and planted babies in her, then you were the one that got that benefit so you need to foot that bill, not me because I didn't bust a nut in her. 

The long term solution here is not going to be eliminating child support, that's not going away. The long term solution is educating men that they are going to be held financially accountable to the children they father whether the woman they bust a nut in turns out to be a ho or not. 

And men are going to be held financially accountable for the children they father if they are abusive or an alcoholic or a cheater or an otherwise negligent or absentee father until their wife leaves them. 

And they are even going to be held financially accountable to the children they father EVEN IF they do everything right and the woman they planted babies in decides to leave them anyway. 

So men need to be aware of those facts of life and thus need to vet the women they marry wisely and they need to be aware of and responsible for their own fertility and if they don't want to pay for 6 or 10 kids, then maybe they shouldn't be planting that many kids into people in the first place.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

oldshirt said:


> OK but are you saying that in the event of a divorce that men should no longer provide for the children that they fathered?
> 
> I do get your point in a way. It's true, that a woman could marry some guy, have his kids, find some other guy, leave her H, get custody of the kids and have the exH continue to pay child support while she goes off to the Bahammas and has sex on the beach with the OM. I get it.
> 
> ...


Not at all. Both parents need to emotionally and financially support their children. How do we fix the unbalance? If 50/50 is awarded or agreed to, there should be no child support either way. Both parents are responsible for clothing, food and childcare when the kids are with them. Does it make sense to have 50/50 shared time while one parent has 100% financial responsibility?


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> Not at all. Both parents need to emotionally and financially support their children. How do we fix the unbalance? If 50/50 is awarded or agreed to, there should be no child support either way. Both parents are responsible for clothing, food and childcare when the kids are with them. Does it make sense to have 50/50 shared time while one parent has 100% financial responsibility?


I would say if 50:50 is given there should be an adjustment made for if one is on a higher wage than the other , if there is one under what is normal wage


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

frenchpaddy said:


> I would say if 50:50 is given there should be an adjustment made for if one is on a higher wage than the other , if there is one under what is normal wage


Each state will have their own calculations and formulas to determine child support. Where I live, many couples with similar incomes that have 50/50 shared custody are typically on cooperative enough terms that they just work out the child expenses between them and neither pays any formal court mandated child support. 

If there is a big income disparity between the two, then if they are each being buttholes and bicker about it and each refuses to give an inch, then the court will often step in order the higher earning partner to cough up some extra. 

Even though I am a man and am even a man where the spectre of divorce has been lurking in the shadows of my marriage for the last few years, I don't get men that fight against supporting their children. 

They would have to support them financially if they remained married anyway. Theoretically a guy could spend way less through child support than if the children were to remain in the marital home. If a guy is court ordered to pay "X" amount in child support, then legally he is not required to pay one more dime on the children and can say F U to whatever extra they may want. If they are there in the home, you are kind of stuck with it. 

Where I do understand some of the contention is when the support checks are going to the exwife and the money is going to booze and cigarettes and handbags and trips with the OM for her while the kids continue to live in ratty shoes and clothes that do not fit and live on macaroni and cheese every day. I do understand the beef with that. 

But again, if that is the mentality of the exW, that would probably be taking place within the marital home anyway.


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## Enigma32 (Jul 6, 2020)

I used to be friends with a girl that was recently divorced. She and her ex husband shared 50/50 custody but over the course of the year, she had the kids just a few days more than he did. As a result, ex hubby had to pay child support despite them trading off 7 days on and off with the kids. The laws are screwed.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

The family courts are horribly unfair. Texas is worse than other states for automatically favoring the mother. This makes me so glad I never have or would quit my job to be a SAHM. This is also why I would never, ever take child support and certainly not alimony under any circumstances. It’s a wake up call, I knew I needed money for retirement but now I see I should have been setting up accounts to support my son through college on my own. I had no idea men resenting sharing money this much. Divorce or no, I’m on my own.


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

frenchpaddy said:


> I would say if 50:50 is given there should be an adjustment made for if one is on a higher wage than the other , if there is one under what is normal wage


That adjustment should be covered under alimony, not child support. The ex spouse should be given 1-3 years to quit being a SHAM and get herself a job. Free pass for 18 years? 21 in NY. 🤮🤮


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## gameopoly5 (5 mo ago)

oldshirt said:


> I disagree with that statement and find the sentence in itself to be contradictory.
> 
> If they considered it a good marriage, they wouldn't be walking away from it.
> 
> ...


As regards statistics in western countries whether it is wives or husbands cheating the most, for what I have read online it appears women are now cheating as much as men or even more.
Please don`t ask me for sources of information, check it out yourselves, because it depends on which websites one reads.
Today in western countries it has never been easier to cheat in relationships, all the tools are available. Dating apps, dating sites, social media, Tinder and similar, cell phones and lots more.
I totally disagree with the no-fault divorce laws. I believe the UK has implemented this too.
It is my opinion that cheating is in the top list of the worse forms of domestic abuse and should be recognised as such by the divorce laws. There should be consequences for married persons who commit adultery.
There is never an excuse for cheating, if a partner becomes unhappy in a marital relationship then that partner should leave and file for divorce, not live a life with a partner under deceit, deception and lies.
It is fact that in the majority of divorce cases it is the wives who between 80% to 90% that file for divorce.
I read a couple of years ago that a survey was conducted in the UK showing 1 in 10 men were bringing up children not knowing that they are not the biological fathers.
I believe the contract of marriage and marriage is a contract including the birth laws need to be amended.
A prenup should be mandatory and men to be proven to be the biological father (DNA testing) before being granted their name on a birth certificate.
If I were young and single today and was stupid enough to consider marriage to a modern day woman, I would insist on a prenup and DNA test if we had children together.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

RebuildingMe said:


> That adjustment should be covered under alimony, not child support. The ex spouse should be given 1-3 years to quit being a SHAM and get herself a job. Free pass for 18 years? 21 in NY. 🤮🤮


I do not believe in alimony been paid to an ex man or woman under the one where they were used to a high standard of life when married so they are entitled to sit on their ass and get paid for it , 

Cases that come to mind is After meeting construction worker Larry Fortensky while in rehab, actress Elizabeth Taylor decided to marry him in 1991. Fotensky was 20 years younger than Taylor and understandably, far less wealthy. After five years of marriage, the two divorced and Fortensky was awarded $1 million in spousal support

Following her split with model Gabriel Aubry, Halle Berry agreed to pay $16,000 a month in child support. This sum, which amounts to about $200,000 a year, is to cover the expenses of her six-year-old daughter Nahla. She is required to continue making these payments until her daughter graduates high school.

other's Madonna, Janet Jackson,

there are many men as well that ended up with gold digger wife's, but I posted all women because it is not the norm 

I think if I was rich guy and I fall in love with WOMAN we see many cases on here there is one new topic this week of a man telling us about how before and for the first year his wife gave him BJs and talked about how she loved giving them , now he said he still loves her but the BJs ARE GONE WITH 6 YEARS 

well is it right that as a rich man that I would have to pay her a higher sum to divorce her than if I was not rich , and why should she be expected not to have to work for a living , 

MY in law her mother and farther got a divorce , the man was from a rich background the mother was no , she had two kids and she lived off the child support all her life but when the kids were grown up the money stopped , she was the type head in a book everyday, and ended up having to take a simple job as she had no experience and qualifications, on retiring she could not pay her rent and the kids had to help her out , 

but there are a lot of unfair things that happen in divorce , under French law 
like a good friend he had 5 children from first wife she divorced him and did not get a penny or ask for as he was not the type to pay , if she did and she was well rid , 
his second wife was more st wise but they agreed his wage would go to pay the house her wage would put food on the table , when they divorced he got the house , she got child payments of 300 a month which he did not pay for the 2 kids , he sold his business when the court started to get their hands on money from that , 
in the end he married a third woman but he even managed to out smart the st wise woman


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

gameopoly5 said:


> As regards statistics in western countries whether it is wives or husbands cheating the most, for what I have read online it appears women are now cheating as much as men or even more.
> Please don`t ask me for sources of information, check it out yourselves, because it depends on which websites one reads.
> Today in western countries it has never been easier to cheat in relationships, all the tools are available. Dating apps, dating sites, social media, Tinder and similar, cell phones and lots more.
> I totally disagree with the no-fault divorce laws. I believe the UK has implemented this too.
> ...


I once got a look into what cheating people call their secret garden when a man told me about how he lives and what he explains to the women that he cheats with , 

first off he never used the word cheat , it is like the word does not exist in his world and it is like this extra world is just an under world that you belong to or not,

he talked of having 2 phones both have to look alike so your wife does not see that you have one for home and one for play times 
he described how his wife is a reader so when he wants to make contact with his gf he gives a long time in the toilet, 
he takes a gym membership so he can have time to spend with him gf and can tell the wife he was not able take her call and is a good excuse for not been home at a set time , in france many jobs don't have a set time for end of day , so it often happens that some can start early and end late but have a day off and work 4 days out of 5, 35h week 
and you get the guys that chat in the car park after work , some are just talkers others are building and using this later for their cover story ,

he tells his gfs they can not use any perfume and lipstick , so their partners don't get a smell , 
and the best of all is where he takes them for the romantic get away , to a open park around a lake in the cold on the winters night , 

I all ways had this romantic idea built up in my head of how these men and women live their romantic cheating life's together but in the real world I think there has to be something wrong with them if they think that type life is fun , 

You would not catch me taking any woman to a open park after work on a winters night for a picnic , and my wife would not be turned on by that ,


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

JBLH said:


> No assuming anything. Men commit adultery at a rate of 20%, compared to female's 13%.
> 
> The male/female divorce ratio is 1:4.
> 
> The male/female adultery ratio 1.5:1.





JBLH said:


> Adultery IS NOT the answer to the 80% divorce rate number. Women are simply walking away from perfectly good marriages.


Adultery is not the only measure for a bad marriage. There are many things that can make a marriage a bad one. For example, domestic violence often leads to divorce.


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## Dictum Veritas (Oct 22, 2020)

Sorry ladies, but I'm just going with the studies. Female hypergamy is, statistically speaking, a real thing and there were means in place to keep it in check. In present society, the opposite is true. The female hypergamous strait is not being societally shunned, in fact it is romanticized in fiction and media, rewarded by family court, supported by law and further rewarded by state funding in support of single mothers etc.

The supportive male vs. the bad boy attraction dichotomy (Madonna / [email protected] complex [Google It]) is well documented and for the sake of the stability of the nuclear family, society has very successfully reigned it in until quite recently. When reigned in the instant gratification type of desire for the bad boy fades quite quickly and women re-bond very successfully with their husbands, however without societal restrictions, women are far more likely to give in to the bad-boy impulse and blow up the family via easy divorce and/or infidelity than they would have when these things were considered extremely shameful.

Sometimes societal rules were made by those of wisdom and scrapped to the detriment of a civilization.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

RebuildingMe said:


> I respect just about everything you say. I’m sure there are case like yours and the examples you gave. However, can you explain the fact that women start the divorce 80% of the time and then end up with custody about 80% of the time. We all know custody = money. There’s a pattern.





oldshirt said:


> Custody 80% of the time TODAY???
> 
> I would have believed women got custody 80% of the time 50 years ago, but at least here in the US, I question that percentage.


No state gives the woman 100% custody as standard practice. All states setup custody so that it's shared between the two parents. Some states give 50/50 custody as standard practice, others give lower % to the non-custodial parent. 

On the national average, a female parent is granted around 65% of custody time, whereas a male parent receives around 35%.

At this time 20 states give custody 50/50. More and more states are moving this way. 
National Child Custody Statistics - Child Custody Attorney in Utah (utahdivorce.biz)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

RebuildingMe said:


> I respect just about everything you say. I’m sure there are case like yours and the examples you gave. However, can you explain the fact that women start the divorce 80% of the time and then end up with custody about 80% of the time. We all know custody = money. There’s a pattern.


I've seen statistics for how often the woman files for divorce from 66% to 80% of the time. So, all we can really say is taht women tend to file more often than men.

Most marriages that end in divorce are between young men and women who are poor. The second most likely group to divorce are people who remarry. These divorces are very often due to problems that arise with stepchildren who can make a marriage very difficult.

People who marry a bit older have a low divorce rate. If the woman is at least 25 and the man at least 30, the divorce rate drops to 25%. So, most people who wait until their brains mature, until they are more secure financially, are far less likely to divorce.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

oldshirt said:


> Let me give a micro-level example of this out of my own family.
> 
> My first cousin married young almost 40 years ago. She was young and her H was a bit older and a number of the aunts and uncles and grandparents did look upon their engagement announcement with a bit of furled brow, but he was gainfully employed and she was sincere in her aspirations of being a good wife and mother and homemaker etc.
> 
> ...


Thanks for sharing this very sad story. Maybe if more of us should do this.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

RebuildingMe said:


> Equal time and custody are two very different things. While I agree most courts today support equal time with both parents, custodial parents get the money. That is still going to mom more often than not.


In states that have 50/50 custody and 50/50 time sharing, like NM, there is no "custodial" parent. Both parents have equal custody. Child support is a function of income and costs. There is a formula that calculates the % each parent earns of their combined income. There is an assumption that it takes 10% of income to raise one child, and a some small % is added for additional children. Then the parent with the higher income pays the lower income parent some amount so that each parent has an equal amount for childcare.

Today 50% of women earn as much or more than their husbands. So, in many cases in 50/50 states, there is no child support given is time is shared 50/50. Or in some cases, if the mother is the higher earner, she will pay child support to the father.


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## frenchpaddy (May 31, 2021)

EleGirl said:


> I've seen statistics for how often the woman files for divorce from 66% to 80% of the time. So, all we can really say is taht women tend to file more often than men.
> 
> Most marriages that end in divorce are between young men and women who are poor. The second most likely group to divorce are people who remarry. These divorces are very often due to problems that arise with stepchildren who can make a marriage very difficult.
> 
> People who marry a bit older have a low divorce rate. If the woman is at least 25 and the man at least 30, the divorce rate drops to 25%. So, most people who wait until their brains mature, until they are more secure financially, are far less likely to divorce.


it can be said that men don't divorce because it is seen as men are the ones that end up with the most financial cost ,

they say the two times that couples look for divorce is when children are young seemly the change is too much and they can't adapt , the other is after retirement , for some it is the first time the couple have to live together 24 7


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## RebuildingMe (Aug 18, 2019)

EleGirl said:


> In states that have 50/50 custody and 50/50 time sharing, like NM, there is no "custodial" parent. Both parents have equal custody. Child support is a function of income and costs. There is a formula that calculates the % each parent earns of their combined income. There is an assumption that it takes 10% of income to raise one child, and a some small % is added for additional children. Then the parent with the higher income pays the lower income parent some amount so that each parent has an equal amount for childcare.
> 
> Today 50% of women earn as much or more than their husbands. So, in many cases in 50/50 states, there is no child support given is time is shared 50/50. Or in some cases, if the mother is the higher earner, she will pay child support to the father.


I know a divorced couple that live 10 minutes from me. They had three kids. He’s a cop (making 120k with an awesome pension). She’s a school administrator (making 190k and an awesome pension). She gets to stay in the family home until her youngest is 18 (he is now 10) and then the house gets sold. So his money is tied up for a decade. He pays $2600 a month in child support to her. Mind you she makes almost 200k a year. He gets his kids EOW and dinner on Wednesday night. This guy was raked through the coals. What does he do? He’s left in a position that he can’t afford his own place so he moves in with his gf. The idiot goes and get her pregnant, now he has a two year old. Stupid is as stupid does.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*


Mr.Married said:



I would bet the reason it is more often started by women is because they have a greater capacity to look at marriage from a practical standpoint than men. The original post comes off as most divorces are the result of cheating women and the “REAL”rates are double what is usually quoted.

Click to expand...

*A long time ago I was married to a skirt-chasing serial cheater who would have been happy to keep the status quo until we were old and buried.

It was win/win for him - he had a wife who did everything and worked a full time job on top of it. All he had to do was come home and take advantage of it, and he did. I did 95% of the child-raising while he was out 'working' (thus my motto "one and done"), and he lacked for nothing at home. While he was out living his single secret life some nights, I was home taking care of his son and the house. He was a general contractor so he had a constant excuse like "going out to give a prospective customer an estimate" or he'd claim that he was going to talk to one of his customers about adding things to the current job that weren't on the original estimate, etc. etc. He had lots of excuses and I certainly couldn't say "no." But then a few weeks later you're hearing gossip through friends who'd seen him doing this or that or being seen with someone who wasn't me, etc. etc. It got to the point where it didn't even phase me and I as just DONE.

I finally told him I was leaving and he begged me not to break up the family (what a joke) but I left with our son anyway and filed for divorce. It was all very amicable because he knew it wasn't my fault and it was his own.

I'm betting there are a whole LOT of women just like me out there who also filed first because they were done with the bull-****.


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## AVR1962 (May 30, 2012)

Of my male and female friends I can say that there is a slightly higher rate of men who have cheated. Also, it is my understanding from reading that the men initiating divorce is higher when men are younger. Once couples reach the 40 year old mark though the opposite tends to happen, omen divorce more. My thought on this is partly to do with sexual desire and energy and I think many times a partner will wait until children are raised before leaving.


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## TexasMom1216 (Nov 3, 2021)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm betting there are a whole LOT of women just like me out there who also filed first because they were done with the bull-****.


The reason more women file is not women leaving "perfectly good marriages."  That statistic is being used by those who want to blame all women for their problems. A closer examination of the data would tell a different story.


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## LATERILUS79 (Apr 1, 2021)

oldshirt said:


> Custody 80% of the time TODAY???
> 
> I would have believed women got custody 80% of the time 50 years ago, but at least here in the US, I question that percentage.
> 
> ...


Yes. Custody TODAY. 

I had to do my divorce outside of the court room. I had no choice if I wanted to see my children more than 20% of the time. My state automatically awards the children to the mother. 

I do not blame women for this. Not at all. This has to do with the way law is practiced in my state. 

Now - that doesn’t mean there aren’t vindictive women that live in my state and would abuse this knowledge to get a much better deal out of the man. Thankfully, that did not happen in my divorce.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> A long time ago I was married to a skirt-chasing serial cheater who would have been happy to keep the status quo until we were old and buried.
> 
> It was win/win for him - he had a wife who did everything and worked a full time job on top of it. All he had to do was come home and take advantage of it, and he did. I did 95% of the child-raising while he was out 'working' (thus my motto "one and done"), and he lacked for nothing at home. While he was out living his single secret life some nights, I was home taking care of his son and the house. He was a general contractor so he had a constant excuse like "going out to give a prospective customer an estimate" or he'd claim that he was going to talk to one of his customers about adding things to the current job that weren't on the original estimate, etc. etc. He had lots of excuses and I certainly couldn't say "no." But then a few weeks later you're hearing gossip through friends who'd seen him doing this or that or being seen with someone who wasn't me, etc. etc. It got to the point where it didn't even phase me and I as just DONE.
> 
> ...


You and I lived exactly the same life. Only difference is my exH traveled a lot and most of his cheating was done then. I finally filed and he fought it because he knew his life would never again be that good. And it wasn’t.


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## Gabriel (May 10, 2011)

This thread seems purposefully inflammatory.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

RebuildingMe said:


> Not at all. Both parents need to emotionally and financially support their children. How do we fix the unbalance? If 50/50 is awarded or agreed to, there should be no child support either way. Both parents are responsible for clothing, food and childcare when the kids are with them. Does it make sense to have 50/50 shared time while one parent has 100% financial responsibility?


I don't know, personally for me, if I got divorced, I would be fine paying support to my wife for the kids sake. If we had 50/50 custody I wouldn't want my kids living half the time in circumstances well below what they are use to. My mental approach I think would be about the kids not whatever issues I had with my ex. But I have never gone through it so I'm just speaking out my bum.


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## happyhusband0005 (May 4, 2018)

EleGirl said:


> So, most people who wait until their brains mature, until they are more secure financially, are far less likely to divorce.


My wife and I were just talking about this. We started dating in our teens. We didn't get married until our mid 20s. We think the reason we have been happily married for 20 years now as opposed to most of the other people we know who married their high school sweet hearts comes down to a bit of luck really. I think if you asked most people if they were the same person at 30 as they were at 20 they would say no. Well when people get married young and then change as people significantly by the time they're 30 there is a strong chance a couple is going to grow apart. They very well may mature from a good match for their spouse to become not a great match. As my wife and I "grew up" and changed as people we were lucky because we have only become a more perfect match. 

I have also seen situations where a couple got married and both people had fairly traditional views on family. The wife will stay at home with the kids and take care of the house and they guy will work. Then after staying home for 10 years the wife decides she wants to get a career herself. Many times this major change in the dynamic causes big problems. Her decision is perfectly valid but it is very different from what they always agreed on as far as what their family dynamic would be. It turns into the husband not liking the new arrangement and new expectations for his duties at home and that can cause a lot of conflict, "can't teach an old dog new tricks". 

I bet we could all go into our mental rolodexes and think of 10 different reasons people we know got divorced (or think we know).


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## CraigBesuden (Jun 20, 2019)

Women today cheat more than men:









Women are more likely to cheat than men – here’s why


Science is finding that women struggle more than men when it comes to staying faithful in relationships.




nypost.com





The first marriage divorce rates for people with college degrees and who come from intact families is low. (Women with college degrees initiate 90% of their divorces but their divorce rate is low.)

Lots of data here:









Divorce Statistics and Facts | What Affects Divorce Rates in the U.S.?


We found every divorce statistic, study and fact you need to know - over 115 in all. Find out what impacts divorce (spoiler: almost everything).



www.wf-lawyers.com





6. Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation.

7. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.

8. 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.

9. 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.

25. Wives are the ones who most often file for divorce at 66 percent on average. That figure has soared to nearly 75 percent in some years.

28. For instance, the groups with the most prolific experience of marriages ending in divorce are downscale adults (adults making less than $20,000
annually) (39 percent), Baby Boomers (38 percent), those aligned with a non-Christian faith (38 percent), African-Americans (36 percent), and people who consider themselves
to be liberal on social and political matters (37 percent).

29. Among the population segments with the lowest likelihood of having been divorced subsequent to marriage are Catholics (28 percent), evangelicals (26 percent), upscale adults (adults making more than $75000 annually) (22 percent), Asians (20 percent) and those who deem themselves to be conservative on social and
political matters (28%).

42. Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey. Here are the reasons given and their percentages:
Lack of commitment 73%
Argue too much 56%
Infidelity 55%
Married too young 46%
Unrealistic expectations 45%
Lack of equality in the relationship 44%
Lack of preparation for marriage 41%
Domestic Violence or Abuse 25%

44. 60 percent of couples married between the age of 20 -25 will end in divorce.45. Those who wait to marry until they are over 25 years old are 24 percent less likely to get divorced.

50. High School dropouts are 13 percent more likely to get divorced.

51. Individuals who have attended college have a 13 percent lower risk of divorce.

52. Those with “below average” IQs are 50 percent more likely to be divorced than those with “above average” IQs.

53. Political affiliation and it’s impact on divorce: Conservatives are the least likely to be divorced: Conservative 28 percent, Liberal 37 percent, Moderate 33 percent.

57. According to this study at least, if you met your spouse in high school, college, or grad school, you are 41 percent less likely to get divorced.58. The other major difference was couples who met in bars were 24 percent more likely to get divorced than expected.

66. The risk of divorce was said to be almost doubled – 97 percent higher – when the mother went out to work but her husband made a “minimal contribution” to housework and childcare.

67. In 2011, Facebook was cited as a major contributor to 1/3 of divorce petitions examined by one U.K. study.

68. In a study by the University of Rochester, researchers said that watching romantic movies and having a conversation around it helps in lowering the divorce rates from 24 to 11 percent in marriages of three years.

69. Pornography addiction was cited as a factor in 56 percent of divorces according to a recent study.

70. If your parents are happily married, your risk of divorce decreases by 14 percent.

71. If your parents married others after divorcing, you’re 91 percent more likely to get divorced.

72. According to Nicholas Wolfinger in “Understanding the Divorce Cycle”, the risk of divorce is 50 percent higher when one spouse comes from a divorced home and 200 percent higher when both partners do.

73. In addition, children of divorce are 50 percent more likely to marry another child of divorce.

74. Certain studies have shown that daughters of divorced parents have a 60 percent higher divorce rate in marriages than children of non-divorced parents while sons have a 35 percent higher rate.

75. The divorce rate for couples with children is as much as 40 percent lower than for those without children.

78. If you have twins or triplets, your marriage is 17 percent more likely to end in divorce than if your children are not multiples.

79. If you have a daughter, you’re nearly 5 percent more likely to divorce than if you have a son.

80. When there are as many as three daughters that difference spiked to 10 percent.

81. Fathers are significantly less likely – 3 percent – to be living with their children if they have daughters versus sons.

82. Having a baby before marriage can increase the risk of divorce by 24 percent.

83. An annual income of over $50,000 can decrease the risk of divorce by as much as 30% versus those with an income of under $25k.

84. Feeling that one’s spouse spent money foolishly increased the likelihood of divorce 45 percent for both men and women.

85. Couples that argue about finances at least once a week are 30 more likely to get divorced.

86. The same study also found that couples with no assets at the beginning of a three-year period are 70 percent more likely to divorce by the end of that period than couples with $10,000 in assets.

87. Couples are an astonishing 76-95% more likely to get divorced if only one of them smokes. The amount increases when the wife is the partner with the habit.

88. While couples who both smoke have it a bit better, a 1998 study found they are still 53% more likely than non-smoking couples to end their marriage.

89. Each liter of alcohol consumed raises the chance of divorce by 20%! Factor in that the average American drinks 9.4 liters of alcohol per year, raising their divorce likely hood by 188%!

90. According to a 9-year study by the University of Buffalo, couples who have similar heavy drinking patterns – either both are heavy drinkers or both are not- are more likely to stay together.

91. However, if one spouse is a heavy drinker and the other is not, they are 60 percent more likely to get divorced.

92. A multi-national study of mental disorders, marriage and divorce published in 2011 found that a sample of 18 mental disorders all increased the likelihood of divorce — ranging from a 20 percent increase to an 80 percent increase in the divorce rate. Addictions and major depression were the highest factors, with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) also significant.

93. A recent study of divorce petitions found that nearly 15 percent of them cited video game addiction as a major factor in the decision to get divorced.


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