# Wife wants a divorce



## Uded (May 11, 2009)

Today my wife asked me for a divorce and I agree with her. We separated about two years ago, reconciled for about a year, tried to work through it, and we can't seem to work it out. We have two kids together under the age of five. Where do I go from here? I don't want to work on the marriage and neither does she. We don't hate each other. We agreed to make this transition as civil as we can for the kids and our sanity. So like I said, where do I go from here?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Are you doing to use a lawyer for the divorce or do it yourself? 

What you do is to start the divorce. Do not move out of the family home until the two of you have a written custody and timeshare agreement for the children.

You also separate your finances now if they are not already separated.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

If you have the money, look into a collaborative or mediated divorce. If you don't have the money, look for online resources or continuing education opportunities to find out what's required to get a divorce in your area. You might be able to go in with your wife to speak to a lawyer and get a checklist of what needs to be done, and then work through it.

If you can do things amicably, I think your kids will handle it much better. And financially, it will be much better as well.

C


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## wilderness (Jan 9, 2013)

Stay married. Divorce is horrible on kids and will be horrible on you and your wife as well.
What are the reasons that both of you want out?


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## Uded (May 11, 2009)

Sorry it took so long to reply. We are divorced, I won't go into the details that helped finalize it but it was terrible. My life is better now. I learned a lot about myself through this situation and what I can handle. My life is finally moving forward and I am looking towards the future for the first time in my life.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Please don't go into any details about why this was so terrible.

How is the weather?

Just kidding! LOL

What are you doing that is helping you move forward?


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Just had to reply to someone thats been here longer then me....


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

Uded said:


> Sorry it took so long to reply. We are divorced, I won't go into the details that helped finalize it but it was terrible..


Let me guess...one of the reasons you got divorced was poor communication


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Okay this is like reading a book with 50 pages missing.
So what happened within these 50 pages so to speak.


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## Uded (May 11, 2009)

After graduating school in 2010 she wanted to separate. We did and I did what I could to try and mend things and we reconciled. After a year and thinking we were on the up and up everything quickly plummeted. When she asked for the divorce I didn't argue. I was never happily married to begin with. Now I am divorced and I find myself much happier and less stressed or scared what she is going to do that is going to stress and scare me. I like my life now. I am returning to school this fall. Also, I'm dating for the first time in my life too. When friends of mine told me after divorce "it gets better," they are right. When chapters close, new ones open.


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## X-B (Jul 25, 2013)

Uded said:


> After graduating school in 2010 she wanted to separate. We did and I did what I could to try and mend things and we reconciled. After a year and thinking we were on the up and up everything quickly plummeted. When she asked for the divorce I didn't argue. I was never happily married to begin with. Now I am divorced and I find myself much happier and less stressed or scared what she is going to do that is going to stress and scare me. I like my life now. I am returning to school this fall. *Also, I'm dating for the first time in my life too. * When friends of mine told me after divorce "it gets better," they are right. When chapters close, new ones open.


You did not date your wife before marriage? Was it an arranged marriage? I am just curious.


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## Uded (May 11, 2009)

Arranged marriage? This is America pal. LOL. I was in a long time relationship before my ex and then jumped into a full time committed relationship with my now ex-wife. When I mean I didn't date, I mean I never played the field sort of speak. I went from long term to long term. Also, we hardly knew much about each other before we got married and what little time we "dated" we barely got along. My ex-dated several people before me and kept reminding me. Her dating history was a sore subject for me not because what she did but what I never gave myself a chance to do. I got married too young, too quickly, and not for the right reasons. She pretty much gave me an ultimatum, either we get married or she was going to leave me. Ultimatums are no bases for a marriage. What I've learned from this is when two people naturally gravitate towards each other and not try to force each other to be together, then there is a bases for marriage. This is just my philosopy, of course there other variables contributed to marriage but to me, what I just said, should be my focus for my next relationship. Also, to take my time and look before I jump.


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