# Military Question



## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

So.. I am curious... Why do so many Young guys get married when they join the service?

I see the stories so many times, not only on this board but others as well. 

Guy joins up.. gets married... heads out. Wife cheats while he away, or the guy cheats while he is away... problems start. 

I mean to me... It seems like if you are going to be away a long time in the beginning of a marriage.. that might not be a good start. Not only that buy you are leaving your lonely wife on base, or with a circle of friend who are for the most part, horny young men. Forget the fact that men and women between the ages of 18-24 really have not fully developed independent values yet... That isn't even part of the equation.


So why do it? Why do i read the nightmares about this all the time? I would love to hear from those that did it. What was your motivation?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Two really big reasons: financial. Service members with dependants get paid several hundred more per month than those without. Living accomodations: Quick way out of the barracks (and associated hassles and duty rosters) is to get married. I know both are stupid reasons but when you're 18 or 19, many stupid ideas make perfect sense.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

A sergeant (E5) would make about $29K as a single soldier, living in the barracks and eating in the chow hall. A married sergeant would bring in about $49K because he'd pick up about $20K in housing and food allowance. If he got deployed, he'd also pick up family separation pay. Girlfriends have no bennies or base privileges. Wives do. A GI can share his GI Bill (college fund) with his wife or kids but not his girlfriend. A GI getting deployed might consider getting married so if he gets whacked his significant other can get certain financial benefits associated with surviving spouses. He could leave his insurance to whomever but there are social security benefits, unpaid salary/pension, etc that can only be awarded to next of kin.


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## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

Is there no military law that says "if you dishonor a solider on active duty....." I honestly don't know but wouldnt that be a good idea, to protect soliders that way. I mean when we send you boys off we are in part creating oppurtunity that would otherwise not be there. It is a close cousin to seperation pay, i would think.


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

Adultry is illegal by the UCMJ and technicaly all people residing on a military base are subject to it. I know it is possible for an unfaithful wife or husband to be charge with it as a dependant but I have seen no real world cases and only a handful where a service member got charged with it. 

And you think its bad for a young male service member try being one that got out and your spouse is still in and 85% of her co-workers are young males looking for action not caring about any type of border respect or boundries. Doesn't matter how tough the bark is when that many people chop on a tree someone is going to hit their mark.


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## twotimeloser (Feb 13, 2011)

Niceguy13 said:


> Adultry is illegal by the UCMJ and technicaly all people residing on a military base are subject to it. I know it is possible for an unfaithful wife or husband to be charge with it as a dependant but I have seen no real world cases and only a handful where a service member got charged with it.
> 
> And you think its bad for a young male service member try being one that got out and your spouse is still in and 85% of her co-workers are young males looking for action not caring about any type of border respect or boundries. Doesn't matter how tough the bark is when that many people chop on a tree someone is going to hit their mark.


What a very sad state for military folks. I wonder what the divorce rate is for the military. Jeez


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## Niceguy13 (Apr 7, 2011)

Pretty freaking high. Some couples ignore the infidelity on both sides but most it usualy catches up. I knew one guy while I was active. three kids with his wife....he wasn't home in anything approaching a conception date not even for a JEsus baby. He loves those kids though.

Where we are at right now vounting myself. When we got here about 15 married people most with their spouses here. Reamining there are about four left.

MY first unit 98% of the unit was unfaithful 45% of the units SO's were unfaithful. I was literaly the only one in my shop who was faithful. Well unless you count that time in Korea before we were officialy together and just seeing each other... that would up my shop's unfaithfulness to 100% *edit for the record don't count Korea for one we weren'tofficialy together just seeing each otehr non exclusitivity you know like playing the field. Two upon getting the korean girl naked I discovered she didn't know what the word razor meant I ain't just talking armpits I am talking I had to go get a hedge clipper to find the snake's hole. Needless to say I started but I was unable to finish.

It defnitley makes the rest of america seem commited though. Marriage in the military is roughvery rough. Spouses don't have much to do no good careers as they are always changing units, service member is dealing with BS from unit then has to go home and deal with that "BS" its a very stressful enviorment for a marriage. Even worse if your spouse happens to be former military and knows the type of **** that goes on, both stress wise and between people.


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## The 13th_Floor (Mar 7, 2011)

I deployed with a friend of mine for a year, came back to a faithful girlfriend (now unfaithful wife) but my friend came home to find a picture of his wife with some other soldier's thing in her thing. The military is too easy to cheat on an SO with deployments, field exercises, training, lonely civilian spouses and horny soldiers. 
As far as getting married, unbelievable hit the nail on the head. Money. Plus, what's a better fairy tale than a cute girl waiting for her soldier husband? The Dixie Chicks even wrote a nice song about it, lol. 

Young and dumb, TTL. That's all there is to it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bigwayneo (Jan 22, 2011)

I wanted to join, but that is one of a couple reasons I did not. And now that I know my DW can cheat on me for just having a graveyard hour job, I would not know what would have happened if I joined and deployed.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

I guess I am in a different boat right now then the rest, so I will give my story to you TTL. We were both AD Army. Had been dating for about a year and a half, decided we were going to move in together. Both of our Chain of Commands had approved the paperwork. Eventually we would get married. Well, then he came down on orders to Korea. It was then we realized that neither of us HAD to be stationed together, we were only dating. So we decided to go ahead and get married. We knew it would be too short of notice to get me orders to Korea as well, but after his Korea tour would be done with, we would come back to the same post from Married Army Couples Program. Even with all the infidelity going on around us, we were good together and had no reasons to go outside the marriage. We both earned a paycheck, both knew the military life, etc, etc. Then I ended up finding out I was pregnant after he had been in Korea for two weeks. He was soo excited. He got involuntarily extended for 3 additional months, so he met our son when he was 6 months old. He did get to see him at birth, but only for about 4 days. 

Our problems came after his deployment. He had PTSD, refused help and sunk into a horrible depression. A year later he had his short affair with another soldier. (this kicked me in the stomach since I had to give up my military career due to his refusal to help raise the kids). A year and a half later her husband let me know about it. By then my husband was just beginning to return to the man he was when we were first married. Then the bottom fell out when it all hit the fan. We are trying, and doing pretty well with all considered. He has a deployment coming up in about 6-8 weeks. My true concern is he will relight his PTSD and not seek help. (pretty bad stigma attached to it). But I am here, and I think that we can work. We still see couples fall all around us especially around deployment time, but I think the one thing I can appreciate is once he was found out, he did beg and plead for me not to leave him. He was willing to do whatever it takes. BUT he also realizes that was his ONE chance. I don't stay if there is a next time, and now he knows it will eventually get found out.


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