# New here and really need advice



## vero (Dec 7, 2009)

I have been lurking here a few days reading about others experiences and advice but thought it was time to join. I am really confused and upset right now and really need advice and outside opinions.
I have been married since 2003 but have known my husband since 1999. He was fine before we married but then he seemed to change (of course he says the same about me). I should add that he is Iraqi and I am Canadian so there is a culture difference. The problem is it seems as if I can do nothing right for him. He complains about everything about me especially the fact I dont know how to cook Iraqi food. I dont have any Iraqi friends and he says the internet is not accurate so how can I learn. I am always walking on eggshells wth him waiting for him to explode with anger. It is ok for him to make a mistake but not me. The biggest thing is I asked him not to look at porn and come to me afterwords for (ahem) but he did it again last night and it is not the first time. It isnt the porn itself but it seems very disrespectful of my feelings. When he gets angry at me he has told me he regrets marrying me, wishes he had married Iraqi, he is only staying for the kids (we have 3 and I am 5 months pregnant), and that he has to look at porn to come to me. I cant get him to understand how much words hurt and you cant take them back. I am now at the point where I dont want to be around him anymore and I just dont trust him. I dont feel he loves me. He has never been physical though he threatened me once (I told him to try and and see how fast I called police) but I have talked to a couple of social workers who told me he is emotionally and mentally abusive. Now I am at the point where I want out of the relationship but I dont know where to go. I dont know if I am too extreme with how upset I am. He says I am over reacting about the porn thing. I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids 5 and under and one on the way and I dont know how I can support them on my own. I have no family to go to for help and I dont drive. I just feel so trapped and depressed. A part of me still loves him but I just dont trust him anymore. He says I dont respond to him but I cant get the thought out of my head about the things he says about only staying for the kids and wondering if he is just using me because he has been looking at porn. I just want to know if you think I am over reacting like he says. If I am, how can I trust him again and if not how I can leave. I am sorry this is so rambling.


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