# At what point of bad hygiene do you NOT have to have sex?



## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

I've never liked sex. I just don't. It was bearable, my husband was happy. I'm in good shape. I'm very clean and keep myself nice. Same as always. Him on the other hand, he gets more lazy throughout the years. It's so bad that I don't even want to sit close to him. He doesn't shave, refuses to get a haircut , has not clipped his toe nails in over three months (gag), hardly showers (he's a construction worker so this is a HUGE problem) and refuses to brush his teeth more than once a day. This has happened gradually over the years. I talk to him about it and he says "eh you'll still love me anyway." True but I am literally grossed out by him. I've explained this and he does not take me seriously or has even gotten angry at times. Yes, he smells sometimes. I told him many times and he says "no I don't ". Complete refusal to listen. He's not mean, he doesn't treat me badly. He's very nice. His parents have horrible hygiene. I purposely stand back from his mom because she stinks so badly. He's told me that she didn't make him shower when he was a kid and NEVER washed his clothing. He said his socks were stiff from sweat....ugh. His father is also a pig. I'm thinking he's not seeing hygiene as being important because he was never taught that way. Already not enjoying sex was bad enough. Now I'm unable to even offer it because its gotten so bad. I really don't know what to do. He brushes it off like its nothing. Am I wrong for not offering sex because of this? He hasn't complained but I also think his weight gain has something to do with it. He's gained about 40lbs this year. I have no problem with the weight gain if he'd just be clean. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Communicate this with him!!!

Tell him, you think his hygene is disgusting. I know guys in their 40's and 50's that work construction and they are clean shaven, teeth brushed, nails clipped, and are in good shape due to the work, eating healthier and some exercising.

I clip my nails, shower, shaven all week (maybe a break on weekends), work out, eat healthy, etc., for myself and my wife.

Gained 40 lbs in 1 year?! WOW. I couldn't gain 6lb+ in 1 year and I eat healthy, 4200+ calories a day.

As your man, he should be taking care of himself and that means for you just as much. You have a great body and he should take care of his in return.

Or there are many other men out there who do........


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> Communicate this with him!!!
> 
> Tell him, you think his hygene is disgusting. I know guys in their 40's and 50's that work construction and they are clean shaven, teeth brushed, nails clipped, and are in good shape due to the work, eating healthier and some exercising.
> 
> ...


I have! At least 200-300 times. No exaggeration. I make little comments about it constantly plus the times I've tried to have a serious talk about it. He passes bad gas in front of me. I ask him nicely to please not do it or even let me know he needs to and I will walk out of the room but nope he continues it and laughs most of time. Or if I really get on him about these things he gets annoyed and it then it starts an argument and he stops talking to me. So I either get laughed at or anger and silent treatment.
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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I would tell him that if he wants sex he will need to clean up before he even initiates it. If he decides to never clean up for sex then you will no longer have to do something that you do not enjoy.

You could also get him to go to a MC when he is nice and ripe. Let the counselor have a go at him.

Another thing you could do is to find something very smelly. Amonia might work. Soak something in it and sit near him with it. Let him complain about your smell. And then act towards him as he does to you when you complain about his smell. This is a teaching moment not a game.

I did that with cigarette smoke one time. I’m allergic to it but could not get my husband to understand that he had to smoke outside. A few times with ammonia he got the idea that it was wrong for him to force me to breath something that makes me ill. He hates the smell of pinesole too. So that would have worked as well.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

Communicate your thoughts to him one more time. Be firm. Tell him you are not attracted to him because he won't take care of himself. That you feel like you are being taken for granted, and he must think so low of you that you'd tolerate him at considerably less than his best. Tell him you deserve his best (or at least a reasonable effort). He used to give it to you when you were dating, and that shouldn't have stopped. And oh, that no, you will not "love him anyway" if he continues to take you for granted.

If he still doesn't listen, or makes feeble attempts, pack a couple bags, walk out, and stay with a friend or family for a week. Tell him you've had it, that you cannot be close to someone that thinks so little of themselves and you that they cannot be bothered with basic, simple hygene.

Give it a couple days. Once he knows you're serious, you'll have a freshly showered, trimmed, shaved guy showing up to ask you to come back.

You're the female version of a "nice guy". You've tolerated increasingly bad behavior, it has empowered him to continue it, and he's taking advantage, and taking you for granted. He needs a wake up call. Time for you to give it to him.


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

I think you need to give him an ultimatum. Bad hygiene is inexcusable. 

Your marriage sounds like it has a lot of problems that you are not facing, if you don't like sex, and I think you both need marriage counseling.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

> *GinaLynn said*: His parents have horrible hygiene. I purposely stand back from his mom because she stinks so badly. He's told me that she didn't make him shower when he was a kid and NEVER washed his clothing. He said his socks were stiff from sweat....ugh. His father is also a pig. I'm thinking he's not seeing hygiene as being important because he was never taught that way.


After reading your post, I simply am amazed how someone like yourself ...being Ultra clean to perfection could possibly end up marrying a Guy from a family you just described here ....The Mom stinks so bad you can't be near her, the Dad is a Pig...they never made him shower.... this wasn't evident while dating...getting a feeling the apple may not fall far from the tree? 

And you never liked







... even then you didn't like it? How did that play out?? So he doesn't care all that much about sex either? 

Smelling good , fresh and not sucking on salty stench is very important, a deal breaker even...TRUE... I'd insist on a shower, teeth brushed.....but so it the JOY of SEX in a healthy thriving marriage. 

While he works on his hygiene, maybe you could look into why sex is such an aversion. Repression from Religious thinking ....Low Drive....Resentment build up over time, his hygeine? 

Does anything turn you on, what are your fantasies?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

If you've never liked sex why did you get married?

Yes he's contributing to the problem but you started it.


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

Mavash. said:


> If you've never liked sex why did you get married?
> 
> Yes he's contributing to the problem but you started it.


There's much more to marriage than sex. No, I did not start any problems. He's very low drive and has always been that way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> After reading your post, I simply am amazed how someone like yourself ...being Ultra clean to perfection could possibly end up marrying a Guy from a family you just described here ....The Mom stinks so bad you can't be near her, the Dad is a Pig...they never made him shower.... this wasn't evident while dating...getting a feeling the apple may not fall far from the tree?
> 
> And you never liked
> 
> ...


I thought hygiene was important to him. He was clean most of the time in the beginning. Once in awhile he wouldn't shower but it was very rare. He just gets lazier throughout the years I think. There's many reasons why I do not like sex. That will not change. He's aware of the reasons and its fine by him because he's not much into sex either. Once a week is plenty for him. Sometimes even that's too often for him. No, nothing turns me on.
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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> I would tell him that if he wants sex he will need to clean up before he even initiates it. If he decides to never clean up for sex then you will no longer have to do something that you do not enjoy.
> 
> You could also get him to go to a MC when he is nice and ripe. Let the counselor have a go at him.
> 
> ...


This is a great idea. Thank you! He HATES his sisters perfume. He gags when he goes near her and always complains about it. I'm going to buy it and spray it alllllll over my clothes and even his pillow.
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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

donny64 said:


> Communicate your thoughts to him one more time. Be firm. Tell him you are not attracted to him because he won't take care of himself. That you feel like you are being taken for granted, and he must think so low of you that you'd tolerate him at considerably less than his best. Tell him you deserve his best (or at least a reasonable effort). He used to give it to you when you were dating, and that shouldn't have stopped. And oh, that no, you will not "love him anyway" if he continues to take you for granted.
> 
> If he still doesn't listen, or makes feeble attempts, pack a couple bags, walk out, and stay with a friend or family for a week. Tell him you've had it, that you cannot be close to someone that thinks so little of themselves and you that they cannot be bothered with basic, simple hygene.
> 
> ...


I do think you're right. I am a push over in many ways. I never want to make someone feel bad and I dislike confrontation.
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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> After reading your post, I simply am amazed how someone like yourself ...being Ultra clean to perfection could possibly end up marrying a Guy from a family you just described here ....The Mom stinks so bad you can't be near her, the Dad is a Pig...they never made him shower.... this wasn't evident while dating...getting a feeling the apple may not fall far from the tree?
> 
> And you never liked
> 
> ...


I have OCD so sometimes I'm unsure if I'm being unreasonable or not about cleanliness. I know what he's doing isn't right but I sometimes second guess myself and think maybe my OCD is making it seem worse than it is. In the beginning he was almost always clean. Occasionally he wouldn't shower but it was extremely rare so I didn't think much of it. But as the years went on that stuff became less important to him. I already know why I feel the way I feel about sex. My husband is aware and has been fine because he's low drive. Sex once a week is sometimes too much for him. I don't refuse him often but the few times I have he understand exactly what I'm feeling since many times he is not up for sex either. I don't have an issue having sex with him if he were clean.
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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

To simplyamorous: I've tried to reply to your post twice and it will not go through for some reason. I have OCD so sometimes I'm unsure if I'm overreacting. I realize I'm not with this. I don't like sex for many reasons. My husband knows this and it's never been an issue because he's low drive. No, no fantasies.
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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

Get a can of Lysol and spray him down. Personally if Queen Dong ever did this I would just move out until the problem was solved.


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

At what point of bad hygiene do you NOT have to have sex? 

At the very first sign of it. In fact I would not draw the line at not having sex. I would not even allow someone of bad hygiene in my house or other space under my control. I sure as hell would not marry them. 

Its inexcusable, nasty, physically unhealthy for everyone around it, very self-centerd and inconsiderate, dangerous and likely a mental illness of some sort. Depression comes to mind as does some others. 

Yuck


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

Mr Used To Know said:


> At what point of bad hygiene do you NOT have to have sex?
> 
> At the very first sign of it. In fact I would not draw the line at not having sex. I would not even allow someone of bad hygiene in my house or other space under my control. I sure as hell would not marry them.
> 
> ...


I do agree. My therapist had suggested that I point out a person in public with bad body odor to him and to see how he reacts. I did this and my husbands reaction was "just ignore it or walk away from them". He doesn't seem to put any value into cleanliness. I'd compare it almost to a bait and switch. Before marriage this wasn't an issue.. After marriage is when it started. He's certainly not depressed. He's happy, cheerful, smiles all the time and jokes around. He's rarely even in a bad mood.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

King Ding Dong said:


> Get a can of Lysol and spray him down. Personally if Queen Dong ever did this I would just move out until the problem was solved.


I bought him two kinds of cologne a few months ago. I got him some cool soap and shampoo too. I was hoping it may motivate him but no luck.
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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

GinaLynn said:


> I do agree. My therapist had suggested that I point out a person in public with bad body odor to him and to see how he reacts.
> 
> Lousy advice since it so transparant its insulting. Captain Obvious nonsense with zero value.
> 
> ...


Depression manifests itself in many ways other than sadness. For example, neglecting rsponsibilities, being uncaring, unmotivated, lazy, lathargic. Dont dismiss it so quickly.


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## diwali123 (Feb 17, 2012)

That's disgusting. I think he needs to see that you will indeed leave if this doesn't change. Unacceptable!
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## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

You say that you don't like sex, but you "offer" it anyway (because you think you should?) You say he has low drive. It sounds like neither one of you have much interest in sex. But the whole point of your asking was...is it wrong to not initiate sex because of his poor hygiene? No it's not wrong, but it sounds like he doesn't want it anyway, so withholding sex isn't going to make a bit of difference. Does he ever initiate sex?


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## HappyHubby (Aug 16, 2012)

Can you offer to wash him to make it a fun, intimate act that can lead to sex after he's clean? 

Of course you can't be bathing him everyday . That would be exhausting...


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

Waking up to life said:


> You say that you don't like sex, but you "offer" it anyway (because you think you should?) You say he has low drive. It sounds like neither one of you have much interest in sex. But the whole point of your asking was...is it wrong to not initiate sex because of his poor hygiene? No it's not wrong, but it sounds like he doesn't want it anyway, so withholding sex isn't going to make a bit of difference. Does he ever initiate sex?


It's not a major issue but I'm sure going without it isn't right either. I do think he's be frustrated if we didn't do it for a whole year or something like that. Yes, he initiates about 50% of the time. I refuse when he's dirty. I tell him, take a shower, shave and cut your nails and we can do it. Almost every time I say that he says "never mind then" or "uhh I don't feel like it". However, if I reject him several times in a row for this reason he gets irritated and tells me he's "clean enough".
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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

HappyHubby said:


> Can you offer to wash him to make it a fun, intimate act that can lead to sex after he's clean?
> 
> Of course you can't be bathing him everyday . That would be exhausting...


I offered that twice and he said "never mind" so I didn't bother asking again because he seemed totally uninterested.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

Mr Used To Know said:


> Depression manifests itself in many ways other than sadness. For example, neglecting rsponsibilities, being uncaring, unmotivated, lazy, lathargic. Dont dismiss it so quickly.


I'm not entirely non confrontational. I have gotten angry with him about this subject. He will improve it maybe for a day or two and then just go back to how it was before. When I say hey what happened to taking a shower everyday he will make every excuse he can. "I didn't sweat today." " I'll do it later" "I just want to sit down." "Not now I want to eat dinner first" "huh? I took one yesterday" 

I understand depression. I suffer from it for many years on and off.
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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

I know if I had bad hygene, my wife would get very angry.

I would go away for a weekend, just to get away.

If he ever wants sex again, give him an ultimatum. Clean shaven, nails clipped, shower, deodorant, brush teeth, mouth wash, or no sex for him, period!!!

Sounds like he doesn't care about his hygene and how it effects you and the marriage. Time for MC, or time apart to re-think things.

Would you want to be with him when he is a lot fatter, same poor hygene or worse, with little to no sex drive?


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I couldn't have sex with a man who didn't brush his teeth, shower at least once a day, shave, cut his finger/toenails and take some sort of pride in his over all appearance.

IMO, your H is not only showing a lack of respect for himself, but also you. I don't know how, but the guy is going to have to be persuaded to change. Perhaps MC?


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

> If he ever wants sex again, give him an ultimatum. Clean shaven, nails clipped, shower, deodorant, brush teeth, mouth wash, or no sex for him, period!!!


That's fine, BUT, it should to be about sex for her and attraction for her mate as well! Why should she go without because he doesn't have the decency to be presentable and clean? Maybe she's not into sex because her sexual partner smells and has the hygene of a goat.

She should not have to be unhappy because he is lazy and unclean. She should not have to spend her daily life with someone who, even given some other good qualities, repulses her on an attraction level.

She's tried withholding. He brushes it off at first, then later becomes resentful and angry. That's not working because she gives in when it gets to that point.

I'd suggest marriage counseling to him. Given what she's said, he'll likely brush that off and refuse. That is when it's time to pull out the big guns and SHOW him enough is enough, and give him a good little dose of "alone time" (cooking for himself, an empty house, and zero sex and companionship). If he gives a crap about the marriage at all, that will likely wake his azz up.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

OP, you could use scare tactics...

When it comes to not cleaning his teeth (particularly with the added risks of weight gain), he's running the risk of a heart attack. Why not brushing your teeth can kill you - Telegraph

Also, by not bathing he is opening himself up to a host of fungal / skin infections (which can be contagious), including ringworm and foot infections. Discovery Health "What if I never took a bath?"


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## I got this (Feb 25, 2013)

Ive gotten kicked out of bed for eating crackers LOL JK


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

GinaLynn said:


> I do agree. My therapist had suggested that I point out a person in public with bad body odor to him and to see how he reacts. I did this and my husbands reaction was "just ignore it or walk away from them". He doesn't seem to put any value into cleanliness. I'd compare it almost to a bait and switch. Before marriage this wasn't an issue.. After marriage is when it started. He's certainly not depressed. He's happy, cheerful, smiles all the time and jokes around. He's rarely even in a bad mood.


There are very good reasons that you should not have sex with someone who is not clean. You can get infections from it. 

Have you ever come down with bladder infections after sex with a man who does not bath?


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Good grief... my hubby works in construction and I would NEVER let him into my lovely clean sweet smelling bed without showering. 

We all have fast showers ( we're on tank water) around here... you can be in, soaped up, rinsed and out in a couple of minutes. There is no excuse for not showering/bathing.

I think quite often ONE person set the standards in a marriage... personally i'd take his clothes and wash them, put clean sheets on the bed and tell him to shower/shave/mangroom if he wants into that bed.

Be firm...otherwise he will just keep laughing it off.


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

Meet him at his truck with a garden hose. Or better yet a pressure washer.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Oh for heaven's sake! If you don't want to have sex with him when he's not clean THEN DON'T! Seriously! And if he tries to push for it, trying the "I'm clean enough" then stand your ground. It's THAT SIMPLE! No wash = no sex... period. And you can even go further by setting up a cot in the garage for him unless he is clean. No garage? No problem. Set it up in a spare room, or the laundry room. Stop hinting. Stop beating around the bush HOPING he will just do it... he won't. Not unless you MAKE him do it, one way or another.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

Bad odour is a deal breaker for me. Although my eyesight and hearing are not the best I do have an acute sense of smell. Bad breath or passing gas or the like and it's over for me at that time. If it were to happen with any regularity I would be re-thinking the relationship. I couldn't respect any adult who had to be told to take a shower.


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

So what do you do if in the middle of bump and grind you get gas? Stop and leave the room?


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## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

donny64 said:


> Communicate your thoughts to him one more time. Be firm. Tell him you are not attracted to him because he won't take care of himself. That you feel like you are being taken for granted, and he must think so low of you that you'd tolerate him at considerably less than his best. Tell him you deserve his best (or at least a reasonable effort). He used to give it to you when you were dating, and that shouldn't have stopped. And oh, that no, you will not "love him anyway" if he continues to take you for granted.
> 
> If he still doesn't listen, or makes feeble attempts, pack a couple bags, walk out, and stay with a friend or family for a week. Tell him you've had it, that you cannot be close to someone that thinks so little of themselves and you that they cannot be bothered with basic, simple hygene.
> 
> ...


Well said-especially the "nice guy" part. Be firm in your talks and also change up your actions. Elegirl is right about the teaching moment. He doesn't have a right to make unilateral decisions about his hygiene AND expect you to cater to his needs. That BS. He has a responsibility to you! 

I'm sorry to hear you don't enjoy sex with your partner, but certainly don't blame you. He's anti-romancing you with his stench and horrible manners- I mean passing gas and laughing about it after you've told him you don't care for that?! He's acting like he's 12. 

Start doing things you like to do. Do them on your own or with some friends. He should understand the consequences of distancing himself from you.


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## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

GinaLynn said:


> I do agree. My therapist had suggested that I point out a person in public with bad body odor to him and to see how he reacts. I did this and my husbands reaction was "just ignore it or walk away from them".
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good, he gave you permission to walk away. Walk away from his advances because you can't ignore it.


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## Terry_CO (Oct 23, 2012)

GinaLynn said:


> It's so bad that I don't even want to sit close to him. He doesn't shave, refuses to get a haircut , has not clipped his toe nails in over three months (gag), hardly showers (he's a construction worker so this is a HUGE problem) and refuses to brush his teeth more than once a day ....Yes, he smells sometimes. I told him many times and he says "no I don't ". Complete refusal to listen .....I purposely stand back from his mom because she stinks so badly. He's told me that she didn't make him shower when he was a kid and NEVER washed his clothing. He said his socks were stiff from sweat....ugh. His father is also a pig. I'm thinking he's not seeing hygiene as being important because he was never taught that way .....I also think his weight gain has something to do with it. He's gained about 40lbs this year.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


A charmer.

I think you deserve sainthood  Have you checked with the Vatican to see if your name is on their waiting list? 

Was any of this obvious before you two got married? And if so - did you think he would change?


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

Terry_CO said:


> A charmer.
> 
> I think you deserve sainthood  Have you checked with the Vatican to see if your name is on their waiting list?
> 
> Was any of this obvious before you two got married? And if so - did you think he would change?


Haha! Nope. He never even passed gas in front of me. Not once. Now it's all the time. At least 15 times a day. It's really obnoxious honestly. I don't understand why he finds it funny? As for the other things. Very occasionally did he not shower. Maybe 1-2 days a year he'd go without so I didn't make a huge deal of it. He did lack a few common sense manners. Such as, throwing garbage into the floor (I see his parents do this constantly), not washing his hand before/after eating and not cleaning stuff such as his car, phone, laptop. I didn't see any of those things as uncommon other than throwing garbage on the floor.. When I say floor I mean INSIDE the house. That he doesn't do anymore because I taught him how idiotic that is. I know that came from his parents since I see them do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> There are very good reasons that you should not have sex with someone who is not clean. You can get infections from it.
> 
> Have you ever come down with bladder infections after sex with a man who does not bath?


No because we do not have unprotected intercourse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Pravius (Dec 12, 2012)

Stink is a deal breaker for me as well. Some of my wifes natural smells I love, but she showers regularly and it does not get bad. I could not deal with it if she did not shower and tried to keep clean.

My wife has not even asked me to, but I love knowing I smell good. Sometimes like when I used to play sports (maybe TMI) my area would smell sweaty, or if I woke up after a night of being too hot, sick, from sweating, it would be like a slight vineagar smell, and it was not bad but you could tell I was just sweating. 

I now put deodorant and antiperspriant on my groin area to prevent the sweating and smell, I also use mens body lotion on my ass, penis, and satchel just to make sure that if anything ever happens out of the norm I would be prepaired and smelling good. 

No, you are not wrong, it is not too much to ask, just the fact that he is ok with this grosses me out.


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> I know if I had bad hygene, my wife would get very angry.
> 
> I would go away for a weekend, just to get away.
> 
> ...


I am hesitant to say that because I'm afraid he'll start only showering and stuff when he wants sex and the rest of the week/month/whatever he will remain dirty and unkempt. I'm alright with some weight gain however I do not want it to ever affect his health and I obviously do not want him being a 400lb man or anything like that. He would never go to MC unfortunately.
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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

Pravius said:


> Stink is a deal breaker for me as well. Some of my wifes natural smells I love, but she showers regularly and it does not get bad. I could not deal with it if she did not shower and tried to keep clean.
> 
> My wife has not even asked me to, but I love knowing I smell good. Sometimes like when I used to play sports (maybe TMI) my area would smell sweaty, or if I woke up after a night of being too hot, sick, from sweating, it would be like a slight vineagar smell, and it was not bad but you could tell I was just sweating.
> 
> ...


That is a problem too.  I told him that before and he insisted I was lying and then got very angry with me. If he told me I smelled "there" I'd honestly be horrified and do everything I could to prevent it from ever ever happening again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

Cosmos said:


> OP, you could use scare tactics...
> 
> When it comes to not cleaning his teeth (particularly with the added risks of weight gain), he's running the risk of a heart attack. Why not brushing your teeth can kill you - Telegraph
> 
> Also, by not bathing he is opening himself up to a host of fungal / skin infections (which can be contagious), including ringworm and foot infections. Discovery Health "What if I never took a bath?"


Thank you for these links. I will give it a try. I've tried this sort of thing to get him to quit smoking and he magically shrugged it off and said "oh well". I have a feeling he will do the same with these but it's worth a try!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

GinaLynn said:


> No because we do not have unprotected intercourse.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I would stick with the GoodYear Steel Belted condoms with this loser.


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

King Ding Dong said:


> I would stick with the GoodYear Steel Belted condoms with this loser.


Is it bad that this doesn't even mildly offend me? I feel like maybe it should but I just can't disagree with you. :/


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## King Ding Dong (Feb 23, 2013)

GinaLynn said:


> Is it bad that this doesn't even mildly offend me? I feel like maybe it should but I just can't disagree with you. :/


I did not mean to be offensive, but he sounds like a walking bacterial Petri dish. As others have said, you could get sick from him.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

boogie110 said:


> I totally share your problem. So many women do. According to so many talk shows it seems a universal problem - only since it is universal it's probably not a problem. We are not made of testosterone - why is it named that..after testicles, which we do not have. Women have very little of that hormone, which is a natural aphrodisiac. That is why there are prostitutes and strippers and porn - usually for men's pleasures even though I know it's so cool for women now to act like men and make pretend like they are just like them. Well, they aren't!


I had to go back and see wtf you were talking about. Missed her opening statement that she doesn't like sex. But, she married, knowing that sex is more than likely an expected part of marriage... an expectation that she was willing to work with, and have sex with her husband.... and then he stopped taking care of himself. And THAT is what this post is about.



boogie110 said:


> Jeez, I've worked and studied human sexuality, yes, even though in another thread supposedly I have no idea of what I am speaking of - sh+t up to you other supposed doctor, questioning my experience...like are you really a doctor? Where's the proof? Anyway sorry I digress..It is PERFECTLY normal for you to have a low sex drive. It is normal for a woman. The pressure in today's world is not normal. But I will get plenty of women who say that sex is off the roof for them and that they love it and want it 10 times a day. Yes, I used to have a sex addict female friend - unbelievable, it's true, she wanted sex with anyone with a d*ck - but she was not normal, as in she had psychological problems I couldn't possibly help her with as I was a teenager also....*So there you go, there are some female sex addicts and then there are some women who enjoy sex enough to do it a few times a week because they do have it on one of their lists and it's kinda fun and then there are the rest of us who are too stressed and busy and cleaning and working and grocery shopping and doing errands and raising kids and animals and charities and sleep and what is sex?*


Ok, what? Basically, you have all of us women in three groups: sex addicts, those who merely endure it, and those who would rather cut off an appendage than endure sex because they are "too busy"...See, I'm sorry, honey, but you forgot one group. Those of us who actually enjoy it, whether we are "busy with the things of life" or not. Frankly, I feel insulted that you chose to exclude those of us who cook, clean, take care of the kids, pay the bills, buy the groceries, etc... and STILL love having sex with our partners. Not because of some imaginary checklist... which I find insulting, tbh... but because *gasp* we actually enjoy it. Again, NOT the focus of THIS thread. I just felt drawn to respond to this because I felt it an insult. God forbid a woman actually ENJOY sex...she runs the risk of being labeled an addict!



boogie110 said:


> So don't get down on yourself. Luckily you have a husband who is more like you - mine is actually a sex addict...horrible..it keeps following me. Why won't these sex addicts leave me alone? I didn't know you were one - marry a women who is a sex addict. But sex addicts never marry other sex addicts. But you are lucky - you don't like to put out much and he is like that too. As for the hygiene. Uggh. Mine too. Teeth - what is brushing teeth, huh? Isn't that what women do? And smelly ding dongs - can't they shave it a little. Bald works for me, totally. Less smell for everyone. Anyway, you speak volumes for many women who do not talk about this...not the women who will yell - you don't know what you are talking about - I love sex. Fine. Go have some.


Ah, here we go...the real point of the thread. Gina is irritated that her husband isn't clean. She is irritated that he couldn't care less about hygiene. This isn't a competition about who wants more sex than whom. It's about a woman wanting her husband CLEAN so she can at LEAST enjoy sitting next to him! 


Gina, I will say it again... if you don't want to have sex with him when he is so smelly...THEN DON'T! It's really that simple. And you tell him that if he wants to have sex EVER again with you, then he needs to be CLEAN...and MAINTAIN the cleanliness.... no slacking off. It really IS that simple.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

GinaLynn said:


> I really agree. This person first started telling me "you started this" at I think the first page of my thread. I also saw their posts on other parts of the forum and I thought wow somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed um everyday.. Why so rude? Why so harsh? We're all here having a discussion..
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ummm... no, I never said you started this. Not once. I said if you don't want to have sex with him, when he smells so bad (your words), then don't. The one who stated, specifically, that "you started this" was Mavash, on page 1:



Mavash. said:


> If you've never liked sex why did you get married?
> 
> Yes he's contributing to the problem but you started it.


Boogie110 took offense at what I said, because I took offense at something she stated. I said she forgot a group of women in her categories, and also pointed out that, from what you have been saying yourself, that this isn't about you having a low drive or your husband having a low drive, etc... it is about the fact that you have stated that you don't want to have sex with him because of his hygiene... and that made me rude and insulting....and because I have made over 4000 posts over the course of nearly a year, she believes I need to "get help". No need for me to "get help"... I am quite capable of multitasking, thanks.


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## GinaLynn (Mar 3, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> Ummm... no, I never said you started this. Not once. I said if you don't want to have sex with him, when he smells so bad (your words), then don't. The one who stated, specifically, that "you started this" was Mavash, on page 1:
> 
> 
> 
> Boogie110 took offense at what I said, because I took offense at something she stated. I said she forgot a group of women in her categories, and also pointed out that, from what you have been saying yourself, that this isn't about you having a low drive or your husband having a low drive, etc... it is about the fact that you have stated that you don't want to have sex with him because of his hygiene... and that made me rude and insulting....and because I have made over 4000 posts over the course of nearly a year, she believes I need to "get help". No need for me to "get help"... I am quite capable of multitasking, thanks.


Ah gotcha my sincere apologies! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

boogie110 said:


> You are really quite rude and insulting - with so many posts you should start paying for it - be a supporter - not a user. Almost 5000? Wow - to have so much free time. More time to insult anyone you disagree with, huh. Get some help.


Actually, boogie, you're the one being insulting, lumping us women who do actually love sex into sex addicts or women who have nothing else to focus on.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

GinaLynn said:


> To simplyamorous: I've tried to reply to your post twice and it will not go through for some reason. I have OCD so sometimes I'm unsure if I'm overreacting. I realize I'm not with this. I don't like sex for many reasons. My husband knows this and it's never been an issue because he's low drive. No, no fantasies.



Kudoos. at least your sex drives match, in this way, you married well :smthumbup: ..it's not the general story here... so Good for you, at least your man is not suffering... He knew what he was doing when he married you ,and if he knows you have OCD in this area....he'll just have to get in that shower! 

I surely don't think you are asking too much!


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Gina, someone else mentioned the risk of bladder infections due to his lack of hygiene and you said you never have unprotected sex. Condoms don't eliminate the risk for UTI's. The bacteria from him not bathing can still be pushed into the urethra, even with a condom on. I'm glad you haven't had a bladder infection yet, but please, please, please, remember that him showering isn't only important to make being around him more pleasurable. It's also about your personal health. If you haven't mentioned this to him yet, you should. My husband is very clean, and I get reoccurring UTI's.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

boogie110 said:


> I totally share your problem. So many women do. According to so many talk shows it seems a universal problem - only since it is universal it's probably not a problem. We are not made of testosterone - why is it named that..after testicles, which we do not have. Women have very little of that hormone, which is a natural aphrodisiac. That is why there are prostitutes and strippers and porn - usually for men's pleasures even though I know it's so cool for women now to act like men and make pretend like they are just like them. Well, they aren't!
> 
> Jeez, I've worked and studied human sexuality, yes, even though in another thread supposedly I have no idea of what I am speaking of - sh+t up to you other supposed doctor, questioning my experience...like are you really a doctor? Where's the proof? Anyway sorry I digress..It is PERFECTLY normal for you to have a low sex drive. It is normal for a woman. The pressure in today's world is not normal. But I will get plenty of women who say that sex is off the roof for them and that they love it and want it 10 times a day. Yes, I used to have a sex addict female friend - unbelievable, it's true, she wanted sex with anyone with a d*ck - but she was not normal, as in she had psychological problems I couldn't possibly help her with as I was a teenager also....So there you go, there are some female sex addicts and then there are some women who enjoy sex enough to do it a few times a week because they do have it on one of their lists and it's kinda fun and then there are the rest of us who are too stressed and busy and cleaning and working and grocery shopping and doing errands and raising kids and animals and charities and sleep and what is sex?
> 
> So don't get down on yourself. Luckily you have a husband who is more like you - mine is actually a sex addict...horrible..it keeps following me. Why won't these sex addicts leave me alone? I didn't know you were one - marry a women who is a sex addict. But sex addicts never marry other sex addicts. But you are lucky - you don't like to put out much and he is like that too. As for the hygiene. Uggh. Mine too. Teeth - what is brushing teeth, huh? Isn't that what women do? And smelly ding dongs - can't they shave it a little. Bald works for me, totally. Less smell for everyone. Anyway, you speak volumes for many women who do not talk about this...not the women who will yell - you don't know what you are talking about - I love sex. Fine. Go have some.


What a crock.... exactly what kind of doc/expert are you? I can understand why you have been poo-pooed on other threads if this is the kind of ridiculous stuff you post. 

I love love love sex. Don't want it 10 x a day but 3-4 times a week is perfect, with lots of loves and cuddles in between. What is not to love... the toe curling O's, the loving connection?? :scratchhead:

So please speak for yourself... not for all women.


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