# help me please



## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

Just married 3 days and he hasn't talked to me here on vacation. He says I was watching his drinking and he said it pissed him off. Well I let it go but he won't he will not speak to me go outside the room. I asked if he wanted toi just anul the marriage and he said no but how can u be so cruel to me. I apologized and he said I don't want anything from you. I have r days left here and I'm stomachsick. Why is he being this way. Why can't he just let it go
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## SoStrong (Dec 25, 2012)

You really need to decide if this is the way you want the rest of your married life to go. I mean if he's acting this way on what is suppose to be the best time of your life how is he going to act/react at the worst times of your life.
I'd tell him to grow the heck up and stop with the silent treatment or he could just find himself single again....You need to start out your marriage like you'd like it to continue...if you give in now you'll always be the one giving in.
Good luck and I'm sorry your having to deal with this now.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Is he always like this? This can't be the first time he's sulked and pouted about something. Do you really want to live with a sulky child as your husband?

If he won't leave the room, you go. Go for a swim in the pool or sightsee or whatever it is you can do in your vacation spot. Show him that sulky and pouty and silent treatments just mean he's making himself miserable but that won't prevent you from having fun without him.

If he can't communicate better than this, and if he has such a hard time when he thinks "you done him wrong, dammit!", then your marriage is probably doomed. Communication and giving each other a break instead of taking offense at every turn is important to a marriage's success.


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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

SoStrong said:


> You really need to decide if this is the way you want the rest of your married life to go. I mean if he's acting this way on what is suppose to be the best time of your life how is he going to act/react at the worst times of your life.
> I'd tell him to grow the heck up and stop with the silent treatment or he could just find himself single again....You need to start out your marriage like you'd like it to continue...if you give in now you'll always be the one giving in.
> Good luck and I'm sorry your having to deal with this now.


Thanks I tried it he just got worse and said he doesn't want my apology and that I treated gim cruel by mentioning his drinking. I said I can't do anything then and he said no he doesn't want anything from me. I said u give me no options then but to leave
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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

norajane said:


> Is he always like this? This can't be the first time he's sulked and pouted about something. Do you really want to live with a sulky child as your husband?
> 
> If he won't leave the room, you go. Go for a swim in the pool or sightsee or whatever it is you can do in your vacation spot. Show him that sulky and pouty and silent treatments just mean he's making himself miserable but that won't prevent you from having fun without him.
> 
> If he can't communicate better than this, and if he has such a hard time when he thinks "you done him wrong, dammit!", then your marriage is probably doomed. Communication and giving each other a break instead of taking offense at every turn is important to a marriage's success.


I totally agree with you and I am always willing to forgive the hell he put me through. Maybe he is trying to get me to leave him. He also laughed at me when I got angry
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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

LearninAsWeGo said:


> You are both probably stressed the F out. Weddings are stressful, but it shouldn't carry into the honeymoon days... I don't even think I had sex the night of my first wedding (big big $$$ wedding) due to nerves from all the pressure, but you can bet we rocked it like bunnies out on the honeymoon.
> 
> DO realize that this didn't start a couple days ago, though. Your trust with each other and respect for one another was clearly not good going into the marriage. I don't know if he cheated at the bachelor party or you have been ignoring him since the wedding plans began or what, but something's going on... something you can - and MUST - worry about AFTER the honeymoon.
> 
> ...


I never presuured him into getting married. H was the one wanting marriage so bad. He was also enganged before for. Whole month. I have tried everthing possible these last few days but he just ignores me. I said its cruel what he's doing but he just doest care omg I am outside right now crying my eyes out
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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

DT4379 said:


> I never presuured him into getting married. H was the one wanting marriage so bad. He was also enganged before for. Whole month. I have tried everthing possible these last few days but he just ignores me. I said its cruel what he's doing but he just doest care omg I am outside right now crying my eyes out
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How can u try to reason with someone who doesst care. I am so ashamed I have to tell my family its over whaty a mess I am in
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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

DT4379 said:


> How can u try to reason with someone who doesst care. I am so ashamed I have to tell my family its over whaty a mess I am in. I just want to walk in the ocean and die
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SecondSkin (Dec 25, 2012)

DT4379 said:


> How can u try to reason with someone who doesst care. I am so ashamed I have to tell my family its over whaty a mess I am in
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm so sorry things seem to be falling apart for you so early on! Hopefully he's just been under immense stress and will snap out of it, but acting this way on your honeymoon does not act to put him in a good light. You are better to find out NOW then have years of your life be wasted.


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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

LearninAsWeGo said:


> He is very insecure. You need to "trick" him with sex to calm him down (much better than him drinking and worsening the problem).
> 
> Later on when the vacation is over, you need to REALLY evaluate him objectively. Use marriage counseling and just listen and listen some more.
> 
> ...


Thanks but he won't let me touch him. I tried giving him a hug he pushed me away. I have never cheated or direspected him but he has disrespected me manyu times and I forgave. Why can't he dso the same for me good bye
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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

SecondSkin said:


> I'm so sorry things seem to be falling apart for you so early on! Hopefully he's just been under immense stress and will snap out of it, but acting this way on your honeymoon does not act to put him in a good light. You are better to find out NOW then have years of your life be wasted.


The ocean is just steps away its such a beautiful place. I just coulkd end it all I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of what I have to tell people. Goodnite thanks for listening
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## LearninAsWeGo (Oct 20, 2012)

Your friends and family will understand, but don't involve them unless you're 100% sure you want it over.

FYI, you don't read or follow directions very well. Your thinking is flawed due to emotion, so I would suggest you don't use alcohol tonight.

I will give you one more chance, but I'm heading home from office to my own wife (can't handle two women right now, sorry):
With regard to calming your new husband, your _approach _was flawed. He won't go for direct hugging or soft romance in his current state. Think of raw animalistic sex. You need to get all your feminine sexy power (follow directions in my post above) and let him come to you. Don't hate the male brain, just understand it. Try one more time and try damn well... or don't. It's up to you, and you're an adult. Bear in mind that his past is HIS past. If he wants to talk (he will definitely want to if you get the sex to work), just listen... NO solutions or commentary.

Good night.


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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

LearninAsWeGo said:


> I would suggest you don't use alcohol tonight. GL


I don't drink
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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

DT4379 said:


> The ocean is just steps away its such a beautiful place. I just coulkd end it all I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of what I have to tell people. Goodnite thanks for listening
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok but i hope you don't kill yourself just because you're embarrassed to tell your family it's over. THAT WOULD BE STUPID.

Think about telling them it's over after you have 2 kids. Then he will still always be in your life. At least right now with no kids it's like a gf/bf breakup. So you wasted some money on a wedding. WHO CARES.


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## SecondSkin (Dec 25, 2012)

DT4379 said:


> The ocean is just steps away its such a beautiful place. I just coulkd end it all I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of what I have to tell people. Goodnite thanks for listening
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Please, please, please don't do this! Just tell your family exactly what you are saying here! They will support you! It's a hard lesson to learn, but it's not worth ending your life over....


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## LearninAsWeGo (Oct 20, 2012)

You guys need to relax. People are going to do what they're going to do. She just said she doesn't drink, so she will update you in a week if she's going to marriage couseling or annullment lawyer. Relax and focus on what you can control.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. If she abuses drugs, herself, or anyone else tonight, that's beyond your control. Go home to your own wives like I am. She has all the tools and advice she needs on the previous page posts.


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## Adex (Aug 1, 2012)

LearninAsWeGo said:


> You guys need to relax. People are going to do what they're going to do.


If you read what she wrote, she sounded a bit suicidal. Someone has to knock some sense into her just in case she is. To kill yourself just because you have to annul a marriage 3 days after it happened is not a good reason at all.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

DT4379 said:


> I don't drink
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


A total non drinker married to someone who drinks is always going to create conflict. Not that conflict is bad or that couples cannot learn to live with each other's differences, but there is going to be an effect. Try to find it in your heart to be more accepting of your husband


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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

Just told me he wants a divorce
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> A total non drinker married to someone who drinks is always going to create conflict. Not that conflict is bad or that couples cannot learn to live with each other's differences, but there is going to be an effect. Try to find it in your heart to be more accepting of your husband


I have been accepting. He is a problem drinker and it stopped nbut started again after the wedding. Anyway he won't talk he wants a divorce. Told me to get the f*** out of his face
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## daffodilly (Oct 3, 2011)

DT4379 said:


> Just told me he wants a divorce
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It may hurt, but this is the best news for you. Get out NOW!! I know it's very hard to face family for something like this...but MUCH HARDER and 100x more humiliating when you have a couple of kids in tow....you will look sillier for pursuing with a man who treats you like crap hours after the wedding.

And for goodness' sake....this guy is NOT WORTH ending your life over. Please. He sounds like an absolute jerk, why would you give him that kind of importance? End it quick and go on with your life...consider yourself lucky that you saw his true colors early on. Catch a flight and get away from him today.


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## DT4379 (Sep 21, 2012)

daffodilly said:


> It may hurt, but this is the best news for you. Get out NOW!! I know it's very hard to face family for something like this...but MUCH HARDER and 100x more humiliating when you have a couple of kids in tow....you will look sillier for pursuing with a man who treats you like crap hours after the wedding.
> 
> And for goodness' sake....this guy is NOT WORTH ending your life over. Please. He sounds like an absolute jerk, why would you give him that kind of importance? End it quick and go on with your life...consider yourself lucky that you saw his true colors early on. Catch a flight and get away from him today.


Figured he would be okay today but guess not. I tried apologizing but it didn't work he said he doesn't want my apology. This is all over me saying that he could only drink 6 beers one day. Omg
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## LearninAsWeGo (Oct 20, 2012)

*Old habits die hard.

The truth will set you free.

Honesty is the best policy.

Better to lose someone with truth than keep them with a lie.*

^Those are all good phrases to live by. He was dishonest with his needs, and there's nothing you can do about that. My first wife told me she would relocate for my training and residency, when in fact she was attached to her family and never wanted to leave her home city. I took her for her word, it went long distance, and it ended when she cheated. Not really gonna beat myself up over it, and neither should you.

Live an honest life, people. It feels good. Sure, you don't share everything with everybody, but with your life partner, you have no other option. They need to know who you are and where you came from.... even the "ugly" stuff (but don't share too much too fast).

If you are both honest about your life and honest about your past, then you will have a happy life with anyone who is similarly attractive. If either partner lies, it's done. Yes, it's basically that simple. GL


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

daffodilly said:


> It may hurt, but this is the best news for you. Get out NOW!! I know it's very hard to face family for something like this...but MUCH HARDER and 100x more humiliating when you have a couple of kids in tow....you will look sillier for pursuing with a man who treats you like crap hours after the wedding.
> 
> And for goodness' sake....this guy is NOT WORTH ending your life over. Please. He sounds like an absolute jerk, why would you give him that kind of importance? End it quick and go on with your life...consider yourself lucky that you saw his true colors early on. Catch a flight and get away from him today.


:iagree:This.
Him saying he wants a divorce is the best thing that could have happened. Get out now. Things may look very dark right now, but you had much rather be looking back on things 5 years from now with someone that truly loves and respects you instead of staying with this guy and living a life of hell....because that's what its going to be if you try to stay.
LEAVE. GET OUT. RUN. Things will NOT get better on their own.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

DT4379 said:


> Figured he would be okay today but guess not. I tried apologizing but it didn't work he said he doesn't want my apology. This is all over me saying that he could only drink 6 beers one day. Omg
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You obviously love the guy. But try to have an out of body experience for a second and look at this from the outside looking in:

A man...on his honeymoon no less should be trying to break his unit off. Sorry for the vulgarity but it's true. He's more concerned with how many beers he can drink?

The first few weeks after the wedding is supposed to be euphoric. If he's angry at you and trying to drink to excess you're marriage would certainly have been in deep trouble anyways.

Save yourself the pain and sanity of being married to either a complete female reprodcutive cleaning product, or an alcoholic.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

Agree... Get out. He sounds immature, and emotionally abusive.


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