# YOu all stress ME OuT UgH



## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

So reading some other threads and comments in here stress me out like the one about the mans wife kissing three men and you all commenting that it wasnt just that no way this and that. UGH that really stressed me out. So are you all trying to be nice in saying that didnt happen with me and my H or you think he did?


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Ya I know I am so crazy over this I really am! he is my life my kids and my family. I would be so lost without us all together.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

All anyone here has to base statements on Sunflower, is experience, and/or bitterness 

You don't need to infer that your husband is lying.

The other thread outlined a woman that had a pattern of manipulation and deception, multiple times, over a period of years. It's why cheating can be so insidious. 

There just comes a point where it doesn't matter what they did, what they said or didn't say. It's how you choose to handle what you know, or think you know and what it costs you emotionally. No person is worth sacrificing your own self-respect over, especially if they aren't showing you any respect.

If your husband is working with you, and you are rebuilding trust, then it doesn't matter what happened. Does it?


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## raising5boyz (Nov 8, 2008)

3 different men....3 different times.... enough said?

I think everyone agrees that your sitiation is different then that other thread. What we're telling him is to demand the truth. And don't be surprised if there is more she hasn't told him yet. You're way past that. You've asked all the questions and got answers for your questions. Relax....things were just starting to settle down for you...get back to that and enjoy it.


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## just don't know (May 4, 2009)

Deejo said:


> There just comes a point where it doesn't matter what they did, what they said or didn't say. It's how you choose to handle what you know, or think you know and what it costs you emotionally. No person is worth sacrificing your own self-respect over, especially if they aren't showing you any respect.


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## MsStacy (Nov 11, 2008)

I knew that was going to make you start spinning again. NO, it is a totally different situation with a different set of circumstances. Do you really think we would spend all this time talking you through the ups and downs only to tell you lies and what we think you want to hear? No, we have been truthful with you and our ideas pertaining to your situation.

Now...you had a big step in going to their house the other day and you have the softball game tomorrow night. Keep taking steps forward, don't let your thoughts take you backwards.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Deejo said:


> All anyone here has to base statements on Sunflower, is experience, and/or bitterness
> 
> You don't need to infer that your husband is lying.
> 
> ...






I guess I am doing ok with this then cause well we all have obviously been through the ringer in here and if you guys are all telling me to suck it up and it wasnt that then I should take your words right. Cause well I am sorry but when people are bitter and stuff they have nothing nice to say right? So I guess I should take a step back sometimes it REALLY hard to read some of these posts!


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

raising5boyz said:


> 3 different men....3 different times.... enough said?
> 
> I think everyone agrees that your sitiation is different then that other thread. What we're telling him is to demand the truth. And don't be surprised if there is more she hasn't told him yet. You're way past that. You've asked all the questions and got answers for your questions. Relax....things were just starting to settle down for you...get back to that and enjoy it.




I know that its differant but its hard to read something simular and then not take those bits of info as if they are directed at you! I dont know I just wish I never went to hell and back lol but I guess every marriage does right!


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

MsStacy said:


> I knew that was going to make you start spinning again. NO, it is a totally different situation with a different set of circumstances. Do you really think we would spend all this time talking you through the ups and downs only to tell you lies and what we think you want to hear? No, we have been truthful with you and our ideas pertaining to your situation.
> 
> Now...you had a big step in going to their house the other day and you have the softball game tomorrow night. Keep taking steps forward, don't let your thoughts take you backwards.


HAHA its so funny how well you guys are starting to get to know my craziness!!!!! AND also I called her last night to tell her about the people that we all know that came to my b-day party I think that I am making the effort to be the better person! its soooooooooo hard you guys so hard but I am doing it. I question myself all the time if its the right thing but I dont care what she thinks! I will be me regardless!


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

Ya I know I think that I am doing that because all our friends! and the pressure we get from them to! I HATE IT! I just want things civil not see them erase them! but that just wont happen. So I think thats why I am reaching out. to make it ok for me or something?


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## dorado23 (May 11, 2009)

I read your situation and well a friend of mine went through the same exact thing. She had a get together with some girlfriends, it was supposed to be a girls night out sort of thing but she allowed her husband to be involved. A friend of ours attended as well and when she went to the bathroom my friends husband dissappeared. She found them kissing in the bathroom , and this girls is a friend we've known for quite some time. 

My friend was going to divorce her H but she decided to talk w him about it and work thing out for them and her kids. We no longer talk to our other ex friend and she hasnt bothered him but his answer as to why he did it was to try something different. He said he found her attractive and he wanted to see if maybe she would go for someone like him. He regretted the kiss and things w her and him have been fine.

I think that if it was just a kiss, maybe to experiment then you shouldnt leave him for that. Men get aroused easily and if a woman gives him the idea of liking him he Might, just might fall into temptation. He could be madly in Love w u but they usually fall for desire. I have had plenty of married men come at me just because of how I look but they would never leave there wives for me or any other woman, they just want to have that feeling they used to get in the beginning w their partner.

Try to be sexy, dress up for him , give him massages, call him on his cell and make him feel wanted. Men love to feel like a woman needs him all the time. It will def work if you do this and he will see how much you love and feel attracted to him. 

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to share my opinion, hope all is good now w you and remember to communicate about everything even the stupidest thing can help ur marriage!


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