# Any Advices?



## timeless (Apr 12, 2010)

Hello

I got married in July last year and in August we went on honeymoon it was fine. The last couple of months of last year was very stressfull for me and my husband mainly becuase he was made redundant.

Since September/October (3 months into our marriage) my husband often rejects me if i initiate wanting to have sex ..its really strange in the initial stages i put it down to stress and we were arguing alot..mainly becuase i was very stressed as i was working, paying bills,cooking,cleaning and shopping..it seemed like he didnt take intiative to do anything.

From January this year we have talked and i have had to give him some responsibility. Things have improved as now he is in a job he likes, we are buying a house and i am less stressed.

However he still rejects me if i initiate sex..its really weird as i never understand why..he says he tired or his legs are hurting....

I have now taken a step back and wait for him to initiate it which is once/twice a week..its fine i dont mind but from the first day we got married he has been using a condom..i just find it strange..heres me putting everything into this marriage and my husband ritually wears a condom and 80% rejects me..? why? is that normal? we have both agreed we dont want children yet but dont mind if it were to happen...

I tried talking to him about it but he doesnt like to talk about it and i really dont want to argue with him
(1) Could he have a disease?
(2) Is he waiting for an X he was deeply in love with to come back to him..? i know in october last year he spoke to her BUt has promised me since that he will not get in touch with her...

I just dont know what to do anymore i feel its a little unfair as i want to enjoy my sex life with my husband so why doesnt he want to do the same? surely he cant be bored of me already?
(we didnt have sex before marriage as he did not want that)


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

timeless said:


> I tried talking to him about it but he doesnt like to talk about it and i really dont want to argue with him
> (1) Could he have a disease?
> (2) Is he waiting for an X he was deeply in love with to come back to him..? i know in october last year he spoke to her BUt has promised me since that he will not get in touch with her...
> 
> ...


 How old are you both? If he wanted to wait till marraige, was it for Religious convictions ? If so, he probably doesnt have any kind of disease. Unless that is something recent and he has been with other women in his past - Do you know? 

I wouldn't find it strange that he is still using condoms, if you are both not totally ready RIGHT NOW for children. It is good he is using them -only takes one time without a condom , no going back. 

Only you could know more about his entanglement with his X and how strong that bond was, and if he may be thinking about her again -- but he Married YOU. Was this marraige rushed - soon after his breakup ? 

Could he be sneaking Porn - since his drive seems low? If this is the 1st he has had sex with anyone, maybe he is used to his own hand & method, and unfortunaty, has taken this into the marraige.


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## timeless (Apr 12, 2010)

i'm 30 and he is 33, he was very deeply involved with the X but i that was a many years ago. However they have been on speaking terms up untill we got engaged which didnt help the situation, i have told him to stop speaking to her as i dont think it helps him on an emotional level.

Okay it makes sense to use a condom but i still dont understand why he rejects my advances for sex..? should i keep trying to encourage him or should i just wait and let him take the initiative?


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