# Husbands - change the oil if you want to get laid



## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Looks like helping out around the house is necessary to get your woman to want you. But you might be better off not pushing the vacuum cleaner around. Gotta keep that gender differentiation going. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/magazine/does-a-more-equal-marriage-mean-less-sex.html?src=dayp


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Ha! Maybe that's my problem ... I DO vacuum around the house. Then again, if she did it then I wouldn't have to do that. She hates vacuuming ... doesn't want to lug a vacuum around. My dad vacuumed too ... growing up it was the man's job. Can't I freakin' get laid AND have clean carpets ... or am I asking too much?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Ok I shouldn't do this and I might get in trouble because I don't have permission but this picture is in my copy of The Guide to Getting It On. I took a pic of it and sent it to photobucket, which I did awhile ago so I could send it to a friend of mine for fun! The reason I love this pic is that this is frequently what I come home to. My hubby is a clean freak and I love that about him. We are empty nesters, so our house is always clean anyway...it is easy to clean a clean house. Ha! But I still appreciate anything and everything he does. We both work full time but he actually has more time off than I do and that's why he likes beating me home and having me arrive to a clean kitchen! He is a true acts of service guy.


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Whatever, my hb vacuums and I love having sex with him. The key is for your wife to view you as a guy that handles things and has her back. IMHO.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Mine gets laid like tile, too.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> Ok I shouldn't do this and I might get in trouble because I don't have permission but this picture is in my copy of The Guide to Getting It On. I took a pic of it and sent it to photobucket, which I did awhile ago so I could send it to a friend of mine for fun! The reason I love this pic is that this is frequently what I come home to. My hubby is a clean freak and I love that about him. We are empty nesters, so our house is always clean anyway...it is easy to clean a clean house. Ha! But I still appreciate anything and everything he does. We both work full time but he actually has more time off than I do and that's why he likes beating me home and having me arrive to a clean kitchen! He is a true acts of service guy.



FW, I am sure you know this already, but damn what a gem!


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Mine does the kitchen AND the manly chores/remodels my house/services the vehicles/loves doing the yard work...

Yes, Anon...I'm aware! He even looks about like that picture, too.

And yet...he has other qualities some women would never get on board with. There's no such thing as a perfect man *for everyone*.

Same is true for me!

But I'm a pretty great catch for him, that's for sho. We both dig what each other is giving.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Mine gets laid like tile, too.


I get laid when I lay tile too. Which, coincidentally, I'm doing right now. Along with 1200 square feet of hard wood flooring, a full bathroom remodel, replumbing the entire house, and working a fulltime job. And I do all the car maintenance.

Get in line, ladies.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

That's hot, Cletus.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Unfortunately LD wives prefer synthetic oil.

Let's see who gets this.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

john117 said:


> Unfortunately LD wives prefer synthetic oil.
> 
> Let's see who gets this.


It's Mobil 1 5w/30 down the line, big fella.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Ha! Maybe that's my problem ... I DO vacuum around the house. Then again, if she did it then I wouldn't have to do that. She hates vacuuming ... doesn't want to lug a vacuum around. My dad vacuumed too ... growing up it was the man's job. Can't I freakin' get laid AND have clean carpets ... or am I asking too much?



Real Men (tm) use carpet shampoo machines


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Cletus said:


> It's Mobil 1 5w/30 down the line, big fella.



But what is the connection between LD's and synthetic oil?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

john117 said:


> But what is the connection between LD's and synthetic oil?


Twice the mileage between oil changes, hence half the opportunities to thank you for the effort.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

No need to change the oil. I just keep her fluids topped up, aka wine.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Married but Happy said:


> No need to change the oil. I just keep her fluids topped up, aka wine.


That's like filling the radiator when the transmission is bone dry. C'mon, man, at least pick a fluid that requires a dipstick to measure.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Cletus said:


> That's like filling the radiator when the transmission is bone dry. C'mon, man, at least pick a fluid that requires a dipstick to measure.


She drives a stick every day. Mine.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Cletus said:


> I get laid when I lay tile too. Which, coincidentally, I'm doing right now. Along with 1200 square feet of hard wood flooring, a full bathroom remodel, replumbing the entire house, and working a fulltime job. And I do all the car maintenance.
> 
> Get in line, ladies.


Damn, my batteries are dead!


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Anon Pink said:


> Damn, my batteries are dead!


Get a vibrator with a kickstarter and that would never be a problem.


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## P51Geo1980 (Sep 25, 2013)

Cletus said:


> Looks like helping out around the house is necessary to get your woman to want you. But you might be better off not pushing the vacuum cleaner around. Gotta keep that gender differentiation going.
> 
> http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/magazine/does-a-more-equal-marriage-mean-less-sex.html?src=dayp


This is entirely dependent on the woman. My wife didn't care one bit when I did anything to help her out. I didn't get so much as a thank you and most of the time she criticized what I did. She never once appreciated me, so this works if the wife actually cares about her husband but if she doesn't then I don't think it does.


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

Lol, I'm living up to my username again and being different. I've never equated SO doing something around the house to sex. Honestly, if he washed a dish or vacuumed, I'd probably just assume that he's delirious with fever and needs to be put to bed (in a non-sexual fashion) immediately. :rofl:

Although, come to think of it, he has gotten "I just changed the brakes on your car" sex. :smthumbup:


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

john117 said:


> Real Men (tm) use carpet shampoo machines


I wield carpet shampoo machines like a pro


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Can't I freakin' get laid AND have clean carpets ... or am I asking too much?


If you avoiding getting busy on the carpet that yes you can have clean carpets and also have sex


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Both partners need to do their part but not do everything. I wash dishes more but my wife vacuums more. She does the clothes but I take care of feeding our pets. When the grass starts growing then I cut it but she picks up more household chores. She dusts the inside but I pressure wash the exterior.

And if I work on our vehicles then she HAS to hear me whine and complain because I hate it. And when spring cleaning rolls around I have to hear her whine because she hates it.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Apropos of this article, someone somewhere on TAM once said "If you become the maid you won't get laid."


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Thundarr said:


> If you avoiding getting busy on the carpet that yes you can have clean carpets and also have sex



Sex on carpet is overrated... Even with good padding underneath. There's a reason we have beds


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

......so .....let me delve into this topicality ....because I'm an expert ....at least today:

.....given the concept that male performance of "housework" will get you laid .....I should be up to my eyebrows in my wife's nether regions right now. Because ...today alone ....I did 10 loads of laundry ( I am not kidding) ......changed the bed linens, washed the blankets and comforters, did 3 dish-washes, cleaned out and re-arranged the linen closet, cooked dinner ( baked ziti + salad), maintained the spa chemicals, made a 2 hr roundtrip delivery for my wife's business, cleaned half the bedroom (2nd and half done tomorrow), and walked the dog ...twice.

.....and my wife has decided to sleep on the couch for whatever bug-up-her-arse reason that she only knows.

.....therefore ....said concept is a big steaming pile of dung.


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## calvin (Jan 7, 2012)

Interesting article.
I'm a steelworker,I clean house,do dishes,make the bed and stuff like that but
she does over half the housework.
I can make a great homemade chicken pot pie,do brake jobs on our trucks
Make a killer spaghetti and change a starter or an altenator.
My wife appreciates house cleaning being done but the way she looks at me when I
slide out from underneith one of our vehicles with dirt and grease all over me
is waaay different than the loving look she gives me when I'm cooking.
Sometimes she wants to make love,other times she wants to jump my bones.
Its all good.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

john117 said:


> Sex on carpet is overrated... Even with good padding underneath. There's a reason we have beds


Rug burn.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ......so .....let me delve into this topicality ....because I'm an expert ....at least today:
> 
> .....given the concept that male performance of "housework" will get you laid .....I should be up to my eyebrows in my wife's nether regions right now. Because ...today alone ....I did 10 loads of laundry ( I am not kidding) ......changed the bed linens, washed the blankets and comforters, did 3 dish-washes, cleaned out and re-arranged the linen closet, cooked dinner ( baked ziti + salad), maintained the spa chemicals, made a 2 hr roundtrip delivery for my wife's business, cleaned half the bedroom (2nd and half done tomorrow), and walked the dog ...twice.
> 
> ...


Stop doing this stuff!! This is painful to read.... Is this actually true? I'm not sure my husband knows how to use the washing machine....


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Cletus said:


> I get laid when I lay tile too. Which, coincidentally, I'm doing right now. Along with 1200 square feet of hard wood flooring, a full bathroom remodel, replumbing the entire house, and working a fulltime job. And I do all the car maintenance.
> 
> Get in line, ladies.


You're going to be too tired to get laid.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I think that the reason lesbian couples have less sex is not because they are equal and therefor not stimulated by each other. It is because generally women need sex less and so they do not need a higher negotiated rate of sex. 

Whereas a wife who is earning 40% or less of the household income may feel obliged to keep her man happy.

Personally I see no correlation between type of work and quality of sex. But if someone with a low sex drive is filling out a questionnaire and asked to provide a "reason" than they probably will.

I would agree that in general sex is going to be best when men behave like men and women behave like women. But that behavior is not simply in work type and or income.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Husbands - change the oil if you want to get laid*



Omego said:


> Stop doing this stuff!! This is painful to read.... Is this actually true? I'm not sure my husband knows how to use the washing machine....


...absolutely true. Personally ...I'd rather do the laundry ....because I'm NOT one of those guys that throws all types ...and colors... of clothes in the machine at once!! ( I don't care to wear pink undies ..which is what I got when a red shirt was washed with them by her once)

....she's pissed at me because I cleaned the bedroom. I can't relax in a mess. And on a more personal note ...I don't find that a bedroom that looks as if a clothing truck had exploded ...to be all that romantic of a retreat.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Hurtin_Still said:


> ......so .....let me delve into this topicality ....because I'm an expert ....at least today:
> 
> .....given the concept that male performance of "housework" will get you laid .....I should be up to my eyebrows in my wife's nether regions right now. Because ...today alone ....I did 10 loads of laundry ( I am not kidding) ......changed the bed linens, washed the blankets and comforters, did 3 dish-washes, cleaned out and re-arranged the linen closet, cooked dinner ( baked ziti + salad), maintained the spa chemicals, made a 2 hr roundtrip delivery for my wife's business, cleaned half the bedroom (2nd and half done tomorrow), and walked the dog ...twice.
> 
> ...


1. Apparently you didn't read the article, because you did all of the things that correlate with low sexual desire from your spouse

2. Nobody said it was a do-this-get-that scenario. It's just statistics, and without realizing it, you just reinforced the point of the article.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Gee, so I got a problem, I have an electric car - no oil to change. Oh what the hell, means nothing, after nearly 20 years we are still going strong .


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Omego said:


> Stop doing this stuff!! This is painful to read.... Is this actually true? I'm not sure my husband knows how to use the washing machine....


I agree. If you need to hold up your end of the deal - the housework - that's one thing. But you can probably get away with doing less.

And, for sure, that two-hour round trip delivery for her business is the first thing that needs to go. If she values you so little, she can do that herself.


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## Hurtin_Still (Oct 3, 2011)

*Re: Re: Husbands - change the oil if you want to get laid*



DTO said:


> I agree. If you need to hold up your end of the deal - the housework - that's one thing. But you can probably get away with doing less.
> 
> And, for sure, that two-hour round trip delivery for her business is the first thing that needs to go. If she values you so little, she can do that herself.


......we both work from home ....so, that means that a "work day" starts at 7am .....and ends ....maybe at midnight. So, the housework falls behind ....more often than not. Her business has her out of house on weekends (sometimes) ....and that's my opportunity to get stuff done.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I love how guys get all indignant about the things they're doing without reward, then they're told the solution and right away they post up the excuses as to why they have to keep doing it. Whatever.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

I always thought the reward for cleaning house is a clean house, not getting laid.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> I always thought the reward for cleaning house is a clean house, not getting laid.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


Then you can ignore then article. Guys doing more their half of marital work and expecting appreciation should read the article.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Thundarr said:


> JustSomeGuyWho said:
> 
> 
> > I always thought the reward for cleaning house is a clean house, not getting laid.
> ...


Well, appreciation is one thing ... reward in the form of sex is another. I do appreciate it when my wife does things around the house and I hope she appreciates the things I do. Partnerships work that way. I would never expect sex as a reward, that is something entirely different. That said, being a lazy, ungrateful inconsiderate slob is a sure fire way not to get laid.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> Well, appreciation is one thing ... reward in the form of sex is another. I do appreciate it when my wife does things around the house and I hope she appreciates the things I do. Partnerships work that way. I would never expect sex as a reward, that is something entirely different. That said, being a lazy, ungrateful inconsiderate slob is a sure fire way not to get laid.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


That long list of stuff I posted earlier? That wasn't a joke. Long uninteresting story. I don't do that stuff to get laid (I'm on frustrated bedroom strike right now anyway). I do it because it's part of our partnership. I don't do the laundry or the dusting or maintain the garden. 

But I'd also be a fool to not have noticed over the years that it does raise my desirability. I get more "thank you" sex when I do manly things around the house that, between the two of us, only I can do. I would never be crass enough to call it transactional, but the effect is real.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

The question is ... does it raise your desirability or does it simply maintain it? You are a man and it should be expected that you do those things. Doing things that your wife might expect a man to do (not that she can't) reminds her that you are a man. I am sure it also helps maintain her sense of security, which generally speaking ranks pretty high on needs. Sitting on your butt eventually leads to a loss of respect, lowering desirability. Assuming that she desired you from the outset, your desirability is yours to lose. If you take care of business and aren't having sex, it is for other reasons. I doubt that vacuuming is one of them.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

My wife forgot to return her red box rental. I saw it sitting there and even though I was ready to go to bed, I ran out and returned it for her. It won't get me laid 

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> My wife forgot to return her red box rental. I saw it sitting there and even though I was ready to go to bed, I ran out and returned it for her. It won't get me laid
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


If you were an alpha male, you'd have said "return your own damn movie, biotch. I'll be busy on the free weights in the basement."

In theory, that would have gotten you laid.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Cletus said:


> That long list of stuff I posted earlier? That wasn't a joke. Long uninteresting story. I don't do that stuff to get laid (I'm on frustrated bedroom strike right now anyway). I do it because it's part of our partnership. I don't do the laundry or the dusting or maintain the garden.
> 
> 
> 
> But I'd also be a fool to not have noticed over the years that it does raise my desirability. I get more "thank you" sex when I do manly things around the house that, between the two of us, only I can do. I would never be crass enough to call it transactional, but the effect is real.



Only reason I do "manly" things is because my wife and two boys are brokanics. I don't enjoy disassembling the washer to fix it when it breaks down, but I'll be damn to pay some repairman $85 to diagnose something I can do myself. I would rather spend my time at the beach, working out or playing my bass. 

Do I help with other duties? Mostly cooking, but mainly because I find it enjoyable. I never follow recipes and just enjoy coming up with new culinary inventions. My wife won't let me do the laundry. Don't ask 

I can't say I have ever kept a tally on "manly" duties to sexual favors. We just have a healthy respect and love for each other and we have never withheld sex except during illness. 

I think my desirability is mainly because I take care of my health. So even at 53, I am at my optimal weight, bf%, BMI with a BP 108/60 HR 48, and don't drink alcohol. I am full of energy no drop in libido or any ED issues. I think that is what my wife finds attractive about me. 

But, if doing manly duties works for some, awesome. I just don't assume there is a single formula. So I say do what works.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

drerio said:


> But, if doing manly duties works for some, awesome. I just don't assume there is a single formula. So I say do what works.


You will never, EVER hear me say that there is one true way to enlightenment. But it's still nice to know the odds when putting your money on a horse.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Cletus said:


> JustSomeGuyWho said:
> 
> 
> > My wife forgot to return her red box rental. I saw it sitting there and even though I was ready to go to bed, I ran out and returned it for her. It won't get me laid
> ...


Ha! Obviously you've never met my wife 

It's funny because I do think she wants somebody who is more alpha than I am. Not that I'm much of a beta or indecisive but I am not the leader she needs. My mother was the alpha in our family and I think I married the opposite. I prefer smart women who know what they want and challenge me ... and that is not my wife. She needs to grow some balls.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

drerio said:


> Cletus said:
> 
> 
> > That long list of stuff I posted earlier? That wasn't a joke. Long uninteresting story. I don't do that stuff to get laid (I'm on frustrated bedroom strike right now anyway). I do it because it's part of our partnership. I don't do the laundry or the dusting or maintain the garden.
> ...


 _Posted via *Topify* on Android_

I think it is inaccurate to say 'manly' things ... they are just responsibilities and probably some of them are going to be considered typically male responsibilities. The point is that while you may not always like it, you take care of your responsibilities ... however you do it. She may want to have sex with you because you are a stud but I would guess that if you sat on your butt and didn't take care of your responsibilities, however the two of you have defined them, that would eventually lead to her seeing you in a negative light and less desirable ... no matter how studly you are. Doing these things don't make you MORE desirable and it isn't why she finds you desirable but not doing them will surely make you less desirable.


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## Nemo9nemo (Aug 16, 2013)

I done a lot as a woman,lol, i.e. I've wall tiles laid in the powder room, laundry rooms, put up some small wall cabinets , changed the vanity light fixtures , changed the kitchen faucets, sanded,mudded & reprinted the walls, hung all the curtain rods and blinds,needless to say put up all the curtains as well as hem them to fit, if I know how to run the mitre saw,I would do a lot more!! Regretfully,I don't know how to do oil change but I would hand wash the car if I've time,I also used to shovel the snow before my man was home from work to lessen his stress, besides house chores,I take really good care of my 2 beautiful children,home works + extra curriculum!babysitters if needed!plus I also work 3 days a week making good income to pay the bills. What more shall I do to make my man notice me? He can easily get laid just by romantically saying to me ," honey, you're beautiful" and wrap his arms around me or say, " I'm sooo lucky to have you as my wife, you're sooo awesome..." Etc etc compliments. That's all it takes for him to get laid...... O..forgot to mention, I'm also HD & good looking even-though I may not carry that super hot beach body figure....


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Nemo9nemo said:


> I done a lot as a woman,lol, i.e. I've wall tiles laid in the powder room, laundry rooms, put up some small wall cabinets , changed the vanity light fixtures , changed the kitchen faucets, sanded,mudded & reprinted the walls, hung all the curtain rods and blinds,needless to say put up all the curtains as well as hem them to fit, if I know how to run the mitre saw,I would do a lot more!! Regretfully,I don't know how to do oil change but I would hand wash the car if I've time,I also used to shovel the snow before my man was home from work to lessen his stress, besides house chores,I take really good care of my 2 beautiful children,home works + extra curriculum!babysitters if needed!plus I also work 3 days a week making good income to pay the bills. What more shall I do to make my man notice me? He can easily get laid just by romantically saying to me ," honey, you're beautiful" and wrap his arms around me or say, " I'm sooo lucky to have you as my wife, you're sooo awesome..." Etc etc compliments. That's all it takes for him to get laid...... O..forgot to mention, I'm also HD & good looking even-though I may not carry that super hot figure


So does he notice you? I can't tell from your comment.

Personally I think that is hot. Contrary to the idea that doing these things won't get you laid ... I personally think a woman that gets sh!t done is hot. I am not attracted to lazy people, for sure. I might be in the minority on that one, I don't know.


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## Nemo9nemo (Aug 16, 2013)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> So does he notice you? I can't tell from your comment.
> 
> Personally I think that is hot. Contrary to the idea that doing these things won't get you laid ... I personally think a woman that gets sh!t done is hot. I am not attracted to lazy people, for sure. I might be in the minority on that one, I don't know.


No, he never compliment nor say anything real nice or romantic. He is a different kind..I'm exhausted of doing things around and so I've slowly deleting stuffs that I would do for him....


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

Nemo9nemo said:


> No, he never compliment nor say anything real nice or romantic. He is a different kind..I'm exhausted of doing things around and so I've slowly deleting stuffs that I would do for him....


Definitely not cool. Sometimes people don't appreciate what they have, until they've lost it.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Just to answer the title, since you already have great responses:

I take my car to a Pennzoil oil changing garage. There are all greasy men there. I'm not interested in them. Now, if there was a single oiled up woman in a one piece coverall............hmm........don't know if I can remember what to do. I know I'm supposed to do something.  :scratchhead:


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I am way more inclined to jump the bones of a man that cleans the house and vacuums than one that changes the oil.

Not at all into men that are into dirty, greasy type of work.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Yeah, I just do not buy the premise that some types of work are sexier than other types of work.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_
> 
> I think it is inaccurate to say 'manly' things ... they are just responsibilities and probably some of them are going to be considered typically male responsibilities. The point is that while you may not always like it, you take care of your responsibilities ... however you do it. She may want to have sex with you because you are a stud but I would guess that if you sat on your butt and didn't take care of your responsibilities, however the two of you have defined them, that would eventually lead to her seeing you in a negative light and less desirable ... no matter how studly you are. Doing these things don't make you MORE desirable and it isn't why she finds you desirable but not doing them will surely make you less desirable.


BTW, I used the 'manly' duties as a tongue in cheek expression. But, oh well, I don't bite on the alpha ranking stuff anyway. I always assume alpha=mature responsible male. 

I figure the mature responsible male will get laid more often than the alternative.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

drerio said:


> I figure the mature responsible male will get laid more often than the alternative.


And the mature, responsible male who really listens to his wife, really seeks to understand her and comfort her, even if it's inconvenient for him, always acting in her best interests . . . will get laid whenever he wants it.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

jld said:


> And the mature, responsible male who really listens to his wife, really seeks to understand her and comfort her, even if it's inconvenient for him, always acting in her best interests . . . will get laid whenever he wants it.


So the logical inference we can draw from this statement is that all men who aren't getting laid whenever they want to are failing to understand, comfort, adore, or otherwise support their wives?

I'm not sure how to respond to that with anything other than slack jawed amazement.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

That is simply false jld. 

I would certainly not say that some guys don't bring on their own troubles but there are plenty of spouses both sexes who simply do not want to have sex at anywhere close to the same frequency and are not going to do it consistently just because their spouse wants them to.

It is also somewhat of a catch22. Being understanding of my wife's needs means that I do not ask her to have the frequency and activities that I would like.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Cletus said:


> So the logical inference we can draw from this statement is that all men who aren't getting laid whenever they want to are failing to understand, comfort, adore, or otherwise support their wives?
> 
> I'm not sure how to respond to that with anything other than slack jawed amazement.


Help me understand, Cletus. Help me understand your perspective.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

jld said:


> Help me understand, Cletus. Help me understand your perspective.


My perspective? It's not my perspective. It's the reality for some not small percentage of the population at large.

A spouse who wants sex daily married to a spouse who wants sex semi-monthly are going to run into trouble. It's the rare bird who can continue to give something that is not in his or her nature for decades without becoming resentful or fatigued. Being the perfect husband might mitigate the issue. It might make it easier, and it might even raise her desire above its normal level. The above average wife just might be able to pull off the trick for a long time. But this perfect couple is not the norm. 

This problem is so persistent in marriage, so prevalent, and so intransigent that the person running the most popular sex podcast on the planet has made the simple statement that he will no longer discuss it on the air because, for the vast majority of couples, mismatched sexual desire IS NOT FIXABLE. 

Some people just don't like sex as much as others. 

I'll repeat for clarity.

Some people just don't like sex as much as others.

They are not broken. They don't need to be fixed. They don't need to find that perfect soul mate, that one in 7 billion people who could turn on their inner nymphomaniac, because there is no inner nymphomaniac to turn on. To put the cause of a sexually mismatched marriage on the shoulders of the HD spouse, assuming that spouse is good, kind, loving, and supportive, is to blame the victim. 

You don't blame a rape victim for her assault. Don't blame all husbands for their discontent.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I appreciate your explanation, Cletus. Thanks for your patience and clarity.

So it really is just mismatched drives? And there is no way of knowing when the mismatched drive will show up? It can happen at any time to anyone?


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

Cletus said:


> So the logical inference we can draw from this statement is that all men who aren't getting laid whenever they want to are failing to understand, comfort, adore, or otherwise support their wives?
> 
> I'm not sure how to respond to that with anything other than slack jawed amazement.


It's true for a _modest _percentage - where there is a very comparable level of desire, and it's not being defused by the lack of those things.

However, I _completely agree _with your post just above that this is far from true for most, and mismatched desire is NOT fixable.


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## John Lee (Mar 16, 2013)

I read the very long article in the OP. I don't know about the study itself, but you can tell from reading the article that the author doesn't really understand what she's talking about. She misuses terms, makes really bad leaps of logic, and throws in all kinds of pop-evo-psych stuff without backing it up.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

jld said:


> I appreciate your explanation, Cletus. Thanks for your patience and clarity.
> 
> So it really is just mismatched drives? And there is no way of knowing when the mismatched drive will show up? It can happen at any time to anyone?


It's not just mismatched drives. It can be mismatched notions of what constitutes a fulfilling sex life (the problem in my marriage). Some people can live a lifetime of satisfaction with lights out missionary sex. Others need more. Doing the same uninspired unchanging routine over and over and over again for decades might leave a partner wanting more. 

If the frequenters of this place are any indication, it can happen at any time to anyone. Children, depression, money issues, weight gain, phase of the moon - surely you've read the stories here? 

Marriage is so complex, and sex one of the more complex aspects of marriage for many that when I hear platitudes like "just love her enough and she'll bang your brains out" make me want to shriek at the monitor.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Cletus said:


> It's not just mismatched drives. It can be mismatched notions of what constitutes a fulfilling sex life (the problem in my marriage). Some people can live a lifetime of satisfaction with lights out missionary sex. Others need more. Doing the same uninspired unchanging routine over and over and over again for decades might leave a partner wanting more.
> 
> If the frequenters of this place are any indication, it can happen at any time to anyone. Children, depression, money issues, weight gain, phase of the moon - surely you've read the stories here?
> 
> Marriage is so complex, and sex one of the more complex aspects of marriage for many that when I hear platitudes like "just love her enough and she'll bang your brains out" make me want to shriek at the monitor.


I heard you shrieking at me, all the way over here.

My marriage is not complex. It is actually pretty straightforward. So I appreciate reading here and being able to ask questions about things I don't understand. Thank you again for your patience in explaining things to me.

So it is not that you don't have sex at all, you just want more exciting, varied sex?

Well, I think we all have differences in our marriage. I am kind of intrigued by the idea of going to a nude beach, but dh won't hear of it, so it's no, because I am certainly not going by myself. But I can live with that.

He would love to do a cycling vacation in the Vosges, but I am not up to that right now, and could never do it the way he can, strength and endurance wise, anyway.

So even though I feel like we each give to the other, we do have limits. And one of your wife's limits is frequency/variety of sex. And you feel stuck.

Are you looking for ideas to change? Or support because it's unlikely she will change? I'm guessing it is the latter.

I'm sorry, Cletus, that things are not working out the way you want. I hope that they change, or that you can grow content in accepting the impossibility of change. Thanks again for taking the time to explain things to me.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

I for one am in a mismatched marriage by choice. Meaning I knew the mismatch existed before I married her and decided that it would be OK. Perhaps I may of also held the idea/hope that it might improve. In fact sex has improved some. 

But if my wife had just held out for a bit longer I could have married her at least believing that the frequency would be good if not the most mentally stimulating. (which I think a lot of guys do)

This MMSL and dominance thing I find interesting. I suspect a certain percentage of women have a strong enough responsive desire to respond to this in a positive way. Most often these are women who simply like sex and think about it some.

Here is an interesting blog I just found:
Secret Life of a Low T Wife | Restoring the Passion to Your Low T Marriage

But note that she was not happy with the sex life. She was the one who wanted to spice things up. That is consistent with almost all the women who are active in this forum. 

Where are the blogs from women who think sex once a month is plenty?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

What does that part about wishing your wife could have held out a bit longer mean?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Cletus said:


> So the logical inference we can draw from this statement is that all men who aren't getting laid whenever they want to are failing to understand, comfort, adore, or otherwise support their wives?
> 
> I'm not sure how to respond to that with anything other than slack jawed amazement.


Learn how to be more beta?


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

What I meant is that when we first started out we had sex 3 or four times a week and that lasted for about 9 months or so until she said she just could not or did not want to have sex that often.

Some guys do not find this out until after they are married.

So I knew going in but if she had kept up the frequency for 6 more months I would not have found out until after I was married.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Cletus said:


> My perspective? It's not my perspective. It's the reality for some not small percentage of the population at large.
> 
> A spouse who wants sex daily married to a spouse who wants sex semi-monthly are going to run into trouble. It's the rare bird who can continue to give something that is not in his or her nature for decades without becoming resentful or fatigued. Being the perfect husband might mitigate the issue. It might make it easier, and it might even raise her desire above its normal level. The above average wife just might be able to pull off the trick for a long time. But this perfect couple is not the norm.
> 
> ...


This is why books like MMSL can be so far off base.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Faithful Wife said:


> This is why books like MMSL can be so far off base.


Can you elaborate, please, FW?


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## Coldie (Jan 2, 2014)

I concur with the article posted. My wife loves anything I do around the house, especially the jobs which are usually considered a mans. Handywork, etc. And yes, it usually does lead to better sex.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

So biological functions are measure of statistical means and, from what I am reading the statistical mean to the standard deviation of +/-1 is that most couples exist in, are mismatched sexual pairs. Is that what I am to assume? I find this interesting. Certainly beyond my level of expertise, but I find it interesting that this thread finally assumes that no fix is possible based on this mean function. But that one could hope to move their statistical possibility through changing behavior. This can and does make sense, however what behavior changes ones statistical chances? I guess, that is what I am reading on much of the back and forth exchanges. 

Caveat: I also wonder if results could be skewed on message boards like TAM toward on extreme standard deviation based on the how the data is collected, i.e., mainly extreme cases are being reported vs. "the norm", if there is a norm? So is the mean really the population mean? I don't know, but would be interested in the research if anyone has peer-review papers to present. I am open to all ideas.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

usmarriedguy said:


> I for one am in a mismatched marriage by choice. Meaning I knew the mismatch existed before I married her and decided that it would be OK. Perhaps I may of also held the idea/hope that it might improve. In fact sex has improved some.
> 
> But if my wife had just held out for a bit longer I could have married her at least believing that the frequency would be good if not the most mentally stimulating. (which I think a lot of guys do)
> 
> ...


Testosterone levels increase in a woman during peri-menopause. At the same time, they decrease naturally in a man. Some of us, have a greater decrease than other men. It is a common problem that I have seen on this site. Many do not realise what is going on. 

However, do not think that I am blaming every problem on hormones. That is not true. In many cases, though, it is a factor. There are so many possible problems, it's tough to pin it down to just one. Usually, there are several issues for LD women and men. I can attest to that for myself, male, age 51, with lower T, heart problems, emotional issues, crappy job, and on and on. Sex isn't even on my mind unless I've got other things that are not as big an issue.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

Here is a graph from the last major study in the US:

Graph


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

usmarriedguy said:


> Here is a graph from the last major study in the US:
> 
> Graph


Still does not answer my question. So as discreet points, does the 84% of men masturbating vs the 86% of men having vaginal sex in the 25 - 29 age group overlap, and if they do are these statistically significant? Also what would the assumption about the statistical significance? The male is not getting enough vaginal sex 86% of the time and yet having a high rate of masturbation, what would be the driving factor? Is it built into a different experience or is the end achievement that same and that he feels he does not get enough of the former and does so through conducting the latter. 

This creates more questions than answers. I would love to see a clear study to seek out what are the driving differences.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I haven't really seen anything you do wrong, Cletus. I would guess you don't do everything right, though. You wouldn't be human. I am surprised that some here haven't suggested the following. If I missed it, I apologize. 

Have you gotten her hormone levels checked?

Is she overweight?

Does she eat healthy foods?

What does she do that makes her feel worthwhile?

What does she do for herself?

Finally, is she consistently depressed?

I think, the one guy here that has done well in his marriage, that I know of, has done so for several different reasons.

He is more alpha than he thinks, but has a good mix of reason and beta. He is not pompous and doesn't expect to get anything. He is himself. He works hard for what he gets. He is driven in many areas and works toward goals. He eats healthy and exercises. He doesn't hide his emotions, but shares them at the cost of his own personal pride, sometimes. He will not allow himself to be walked on. He will back away when the cost to his self-esteem is too high. He is not afraid to ask questions and he is not too proud to think that someone else may have an intelligent thought. 

These factors and more are all important to a good sex life and a good desire for sex. Still, there are those, because our bodies all act and react differently, who will not be as driven as the optimal human. (Optimus Prime?)

Anyway, I guess you have to factor in some, as jld puts it, compassion into the equation, too. That is part of what I wrote above. If you have none for the LD spouse, you will always be unsatisfied. None of us gets everything we want out of one person. It's why we have friends for other things. It's why we don't always constantly cling to our spouse. No one has all we need to help us feel complete. We have to find that on our own through other friendships.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

usmarriedguy said:


> I for one am in a mismatched marriage by choice. Meaning I knew the mismatch existed before I married her and decided that it would be OK. Perhaps I may of also held the idea/hope that it might improve. In fact sex has improved some.
> 
> But if my wife had just held out for a bit longer I could have married her at least believing that the frequency would be good if not the most mentally stimulating. (which I think a lot of guys do)
> 
> ...


Women reading that site might also want to check out who she is affiliated with, such as the Wild Man Project...a sickening misogynistic puke hole. Go ahead and check it out...the link is right there on her site.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

You are right, hard to get anything meaningful from this graph which includes all people and not just married heterosexual couples.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Well, 2ntnuf, I think that might be the best post I have ever read from you. Thank you for contributing that.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

FW, you are such a smart woman, and I think we all learn a lot from you. I think you have said what Cletus is saying, that sexlessness or an unsatisfying sex life is mainly due to mismatched sex drives. Is that right?

Do you have any tips for remedying this? Or what is your advice for someone in this situation?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

jld said:


> Well, 2ntnuf, I think that might be the best post I have ever read from you. Thank you for contributing that.


Don't get your hopes up. 

There are many things we do not agree on, and I know it's a lack of understanding. I will not agree to a man taking blame for everything and I won't agree to a woman taking blame for everything. I will stand for my beliefs, until they are proven wrong. 


FW, make sure you aren't throwing out the baby with the bath water. I didn't look at that site, but I know what I responded is true. I've seen it elsewhere. It doesn't mean I agree with what that site has to say. I quoted the post to show which post my comment sort of pertained to. 

I've gotten some good information, if I could wade through the crap, from some not so good authors. I think that's compassion, right, jld?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I think it's *discernment*, 2ntnuf. 

And your first sentence made me laugh! 

I think a man taking responsibility will have a pretty easy road with a woman. But you know that.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I don't know, 2ntnuf. I get nervous when people try to teach dominance to men. (I just looked at that website that was linked) I think teaching limit setting is fine. And certainly men need to value themselves and be honest with themselves and try to improve themselves, but "teaching" dominance? I just don't know.

I really think men would be better off studying Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and just becoming better human beings overall.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

jld said:


> I think it's *discernment*, 2ntnuf.
> 
> And your first sentence made me laugh!
> 
> I think *a man taking responsibility *will have a pretty easy road with a woman. But you know that.


For himself, not his wife. It's love, devotion and understanding that cause a man to help his wife through this stuff. He is not obligated to get her to do anything. If she doesn't want to work with him, he has the right to divorce her and sometimes, an obligation for his own welfare, which must come first or he will not have the ability to help her in even the most minor issues she has. She is responsible for her own choices, decisions, actions, income, health, education, etc. This is not the 1950's.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I think people have always borne responsibility for their choices, 2ntnuf. We can't really avoid the consequences of our actions.

But I agree that taking responsibility for himself is a man's first step.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

jld said:


> I don't know, 2ntnuf. I get nervous when people try to teach dominance to men. (I just looked at that website that was linked) I think teaching limit setting is fine. And certainly men need to value themselves and be honest with themselves and try to improve themselves, but "teaching" dominance? I just don't know.
> 
> I really think men would be better off studying Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and just becoming better human beings overall.


I said, jld, I did not read that site. I was just quoting his post so that everyone knew what brought the thoughts I posted to my mind. 

I hear that you are concerned that men will tell their wives what to do and how to act, learning to control a woman. I am not in favor of that. How does it make you feel when I recognize your fear and state that I'm not in favor of controlling anyone?


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Sorry for the threadjack, Cletus. I'll take another route. Take care. I hope you work out the difficulties you are facing.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> I said, jld, I did not read that site. I was just quoting his post so that everyone knew what brought the thoughts I posted to my mind.
> 
> I hear that you are concerned that men will tell their wives what to do and how to act, learning to control a woman. I am not in favor of that. How does it make you feel when I recognize your fear and state that I'm not in favor of controlling anyone?


Actually, I am not concerned that men will learn how to control a woman. I doubt that will happen. I think they will fail miserably and look stupid. Sorry, but that is what I think.

Yes, women want a leader, but a _real_ one, not a fake. It's not about posturing. It's about genuinely taking responsibility for your mistakes and shortcomings, listening, and trying to improve.

Do you know MEM on these boards? Do you not think he is humble? Does he respond sharply and sarcastically to posters? Does he call them names? Or does he try to understand and consider what they are saying?

I don't agree with everything MEM says, either. But he seems to have an open mind and try to improve. At least he listens.

And I don't understand why he has problems with his wife. But we don't know him in person, either. And we don't know her.

Look, 2ntnuf, I don't have the answers, either. I only share what I think, what I have observed in my dh, and what has worked well with me. I think dh is pretty nice to me, and our marriage has not had most of the problems, at least the serious ones, that I read about here. So I share my thoughts, and hope it will help someone. And it makes me consider my positions, and refine them.


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## JustSomeGuyWho (Dec 16, 2012)

jld said:


> I think it's *discernment*, 2ntnuf.
> 
> And your first sentence made me laugh!
> 
> ...


I'll say what I've said before using my wife as an example. She expects me to be responsible. It goes without saying. It is one of the reasons she married me. We are in a sexless marriage and it isn't because I've suddenly stopped being responsible. If my wife had a high or even a normal sex drive then we probably wouldn't be in a sexless marriage. It's even more complicated than that. She is morbidly obese, she places her children above our marriage, she's on anti-depressants, she has health issues, etc. Even when we first married, sex was not all that important to her. I am also sure that I don't provide what I need for her emotionally. I really have to work hard to make her feel special to even have a shot ... and since she has relatively low self-esteem, I really mean it when I say work hard. Now if those issues weren't present, she had a reasonable sex drive and I stopped being a responsible person then I'm sure I would eventually become a less desirable person in her eyes. It isn't always as simple as ... be responsible and you will get laid.

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> I haven't really seen anything you do wrong, Cletus. I would guess you don't do everything right, though. You wouldn't be human. I am surprised that some here haven't suggested the following. If I missed it, I apologize.


I'm not looking to fix my wife at all. Because she isn't broken. This is the message I'm so blindingly failing to get across here. Our issue is one of mismatch. 

I've been married to her for going on 30 years now. I've known her young and healthy. I've known her up and down, through child birth, through a hip replacement for a congenital birth defect, through a full hysterectomy for endemetriosis before 40, through trials, tribulations, and joys and sorrows.

She has consistently been who she is since before we got married. She was terrified of sex on our wedding night. She finds disgusting or pointless what most of us here consider routine. She enjoys sex just fine - once a week, no surprises, done in a loving manner, by her rules. 

What am I looking for here? Nothing, really, other than knowledge. Once in a while a tidbit comes across that I hadn't considered. Mostly, it's just therapeutic to commiserate with all of the other people who don't have the intimate life they crave. It's not a bad way to reset your barometer when you find many, many people who have it far worse than you do.


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## usmarriedguy (Dec 9, 2013)

jld said:


> I don't know, 2ntnuf. I get nervous when people try to teach dominance to men.


There seems to be a certain segment of the female population that responds to this though because you see it often from female posters. 

The strong masculine is also something males want to hear. So it is basically preaching to the choir in order to sell books. 

As a average man I am certainly not above questioning my own virility in regard to how it might effect our sex life.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

JustSomeGuyWho said:


> I'll say what I've said before using my wife as an example. She expects me to be responsible. It goes without saying. It is one of the reasons she married me. We are in a sexless marriage and it isn't because I've suddenly stopped being responsible. If my wife had a high or even a normal sex drive then we probably wouldn't be in a sexless marriage. It's even more complicated than that. She is morbidly obese, she places her children above our marriage, she's on anti-depressants, she has health issues, etc. Even when we first married, sex was not all that important to her. I am also sure that I don't provide what I need for her emotionally. I really have to work hard to make her feel special to even have a shot ... and since she has relatively low self-esteem, I really mean it when I say work hard. Now if those issues weren't present, she had a reasonable sex drive and I stopped being a responsible person then I'm sure I would eventually become a less desirable person in her eyes. It isn't always as simple as ... be responsible and you will get laid.
> 
> _Posted via *Topify* on Android_


It sounds like there are a lot of issues there, JSGW. I couldn't be with someone obese. I just would not feel attracted.

She has a lot of issues that need to be worked through. Is she willing to go to counseling?

I think all you can do is work on yourself. I am telling you, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People can be life-changing, all for the best. It is a comprehensive plan for developing better character. I can't recommend it enough.

You seem like a good person. I am sure with persistence, you will get where you want to be, either with her or someone else. Divorce is always an option with someone who just refuses to work with you.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Is that a euphemism for something?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

usmarriedguy said:


> There seems to be a certain segment of the female population that responds to this though because you see it often from female posters.
> 
> The strong masculine is also something males want to hear. So it is basically preaching to the choir in order to sell books.
> 
> As a average man I am certainly not above questioning my own virility in regard to how it might effect our sex life.


Yeah, because it is better than total wimpishness. And nobody wants to be with an abuser, either.

I am just afraid it is a temporary fix . . . like a low carb diet. (Running from the tomatoes!)


Seriously, I think what is really appealing to women is genuinely good men. Think Jesus. Someone who knew who he was, what he was about, reached out in love and understanding and _firmness_ and was willing to die for what he believed. Women could not resist him.


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Cletus said:


> I'm not looking to fix my wife at all. Because she isn't broken. This is the message I'm so blindingly failing to get across here. Our issue is one of mismatch.
> 
> I've been married to her for going on 30 years now. I've known her young and healthy. I've known her up and down, through child birth, through a hip replacement for a congenital birth defect, through a full hysterectomy for endemetriosis before 40, through trials, tribulations, and joys and sorrows.
> 
> ...


I'd say she needs counseling for her fears. I'd say she has deep issues she never came to grips with. That doesn't mean she is physically unhealthy. I don't think that being so afraid on her honeymoon, is healthy. It seems like she was instilled with fear by someone or several that sex is dirty, disgusting, painful, a soul destroyer and she will go to hell if she enjoys it at all. There's your tidbit to attempt to help you understand. 

Thanks for the detailed explanation. That was tough, I imagine. I hope it helps you get more appropriate responses and not just continue to feed a complaint session. It will do you more good if you can make even a little progress, I imagine. Good luck.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

jld said:


> Actually, I am not concerned that men will learn how to control a woman. I doubt that will happen. I think they will fail miserably and look stupid. Sorry, but that is what I think.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, women want a leader, but a _real_ one, not a fake. It's not about posturing. It's about genuinely taking responsibility for your mistakes and shortcomings, listening, and trying to improve.



Controlling - manipulating - different aspects of behavior of grown people is not that difficult. 

Manipulating emotions is also not that difficult - witness talk radio in the USA.

Manipulating grown people into sex is a different story largely because it involves a lot of lower level processes and emotions that can't be hijacked as well. If desire is there (read ONS, pickups...) it's not that difficult but not sustained, and not with someone determined to not have sex...


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

So, John, you are saying it doesn't work. I agree, not long term, anyway.

I really think genuine character development is the long term solution.

Okay, and I agree with FW that some people are just LD and are never going to change. But it still never hurts to work on character!


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Character development past adolescence is slow - most desirable traits are there from early on. 

I could predict what my kids will do at 18-22 years earlier. Myself too, many others too. Our influences are there and have done their job, what changes really is our responses. 

Also, we can rationalize our decisions or choices without depending on a particular moral character framework to sustain us.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Really? I got so much out of Seven Habits, and I was nearly out of college when I read it (maybe even right out of college).


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Steve Covey is ok, I still have my Franklin Planner somewhere 

But such how-to's assume the basics are there. Some cultures are not the win-win type or proactive so I doubt Steve sold many planners there ...


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## askari (Jun 21, 2012)

I've read the first page and skimmed through the rest....change the oil? Ummm..

Initially my wife did take responsibility for household 'chores' - and by that I do not mean just cleaning etc but calling teh phone company when the phone died etc. Over time she just stopped doing things (though she loves washing clothes). The phone would be dead for months, there would be no milk in the fridge etc etc.

It got to the point where I started doing all her 'chores' as well as my own because I couldnt rely on her to do her 'bit'. 
She knew taht if she didnt do something or made a **** up of it I would end up doing it. Now she does absolutely nothing. I do it ALL, except filling the washing machine.

She has the easy life. She doesnt even have sex with her husband. Who's the idiot?

Yup, Askari.


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