# The great feedback debate of 2015



## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

A pattern has been emerging to me. My guess is that it's always been here, maybe I'm just noticing it. Or maybe it's getting worse. 

But someone posts, usually a BS, every so often a WS. As long as they are fairly active in their own thread, things seem to move along fine. 

But the second they disappear for a couple days, all hell breaks loose in their threads. Posters start debating back and forth on issues that most often are not very helpful to the poster. 

We all have different views. We may thing someone else is giving wrong advice. But hey, that's their advice. As long as they are not repeating it over and over, let it slide. Why quote it and try to refute it? It just provides a forum to continue to repeat it. Then we wind up with pages and pages of chatter that at best is tangentially related to the OPs needs. 

It makes it very hard to follow the thread, and in a recent case, may have indirectly contributed to the banning of BS. They saw how the long time posters interacted, and sensing the tension and aggression, may have assumed that is an acceptable way to behave here. 

So, if you want to provide someone, or TAM as a whole feedback on a topic. What are some effective ways to do it? 

The obvious ones to me are...

For individual feedback: 
- Private message
- Report the post if they crossed a line, let a mod decided. 

Feedback to TAM as a whole:
- Start a new thread on the topic 

I'm sure there are plenty of others. What ideas do you have?


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## CantBelieveThis (Feb 25, 2014)

Start a new thread sounds reasonable


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Someone leaves a poop and all the flies go crazy.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> Someone leaves a poop and all the flies go crazy.



All that does is draw attention to the poop. Wouldn't it just be better to just stick to providing good advice to the OP? Eventually the poop gets buried.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Acoa said:


> All that does is draw attention to the poop. Wouldn't it just be better to just stick to providing good advice to the OP? Eventually the poop gets buried.


I agree and that is why I said this in another thread



Dogbert said:


> Debate is healthy but it can grow tiresome when someone takes issue with something you posted but failed to go back and read your past posts on that thread which would have clarified the issue. Or takes one thing out of context from your post and completely twist the entire meaning of your post. And hey, I'm guilty of doing this same thing so I'm not pointing fingers at anybody. Just pointing out a sin we all share.


All it takes a few trigger words or phrases like "get over it" or injecting a little levity, to draw a fire storm of replies and send the thread spinning into another orbit.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

I think this a a anonymous message board and any poster should be able to weed through the bull$hit and pick out what they need.


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## Jasel (Jan 8, 2013)

That's why I don't even come here much anymore. Tired of trying to see a posts of OP and having to read through 3 - 7 pages of speculating, arguing, debating, random thoughts, etc by the regulars. Waaaaaayyy too much repetitive bull**** to shift through. I think some people just like reading their own writing a bit too much.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Jasel said:


> That's why I don't even come here much anymore. Tired of trying to see a posts of OP and having to read through 3 - 7 pages of speculating, arguing, debating, random thoughts, etc by the regulars. Waaaaaayyy too much repetitive bull**** to shift through. I think some people just like reading their own writing a bit too much.


:iagree: 
This is exactly why I don't post much anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

Debate often becomes prosecution of not just a WS but of BS who dare go outside the party line.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Acoa said:


> A pattern has been emerging to me. My guess is that it's always been here, maybe I'm just noticing it. Or maybe it's getting worse.
> 
> But someone posts, usually a BS, every so often a WS. As long as they are fairly active in their own thread, things seem to move along fine.
> 
> But the second they disappear for a couple days, all hell breaks loose in their threads. Posters start debating back and forth on issues that most often are not very helpful to the poster.


I think it's always been this way. Maybe it gets better and worse depending on the specific threads but it's not new IMO. At least it's not as bad a the holiday season. TAM is a dysfunctional, passive aggressive nightmare during times when people are having to deal with their real life families.


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## RWB (Feb 6, 2010)

If the OP would hang around long enough to let us beat them over the head with the 2x4 for at least say 5 pages or so... maybe we wouldn't have to argue back and forth so much. Sounds reasonable, maybe a front page sticky?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

Its hard to not project from your own experiences.

My advice is to not care what anybody else advises and just give you opinion with a short explanation and then move on . don't, worry about what others post unless they drag you into the mix by miss quoating or not understanding the point you were making. 

Easier said than done!


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## Retribution (Apr 30, 2012)

I've noticed a lot of pride (I'm guilty too). I let a member pull me into a flame war totally unrelated to the thread all because they couldn't read the levity in my post, and they were apparently hyper-sensitive about my subject.

I should have let it slide, which I reluctantly and eventually did. Still wasn't my proudest moment though.

I'm all for new threads to debate the subjects though. I think it's healthy to have discussions on hot topics. It certainly doesn't belong on the thread of some poor BS or WS looking for help.


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## Dogbert (Jan 10, 2015)

The ignore option may become a good option for dealing with persistent drama royalty.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> The ignore option may become a good option for dealing with persistent drama royalty.


I reserve the ignore button for glenn close types. I've only used it once after trying to give heartfelt advice to someone who really needed professional help.


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## Vulcan2013 (Sep 25, 2013)

I am in favor of different viewpoints. What I hate, and probably drives off a lot of OPs, is incessant, OCD-level back and forth on the same topic. Example: to snoop or not. 

Hey, just start a new thread and you can refer the OP to 80 pages of the same arguments repeated ad infinitum.


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

chillymorn said:


> Its hard to not project from your own experiences.
> 
> My advice is to not care what anybody else advises and just give you opinion with a short explanation and then move on . don't, worry about what others post unless they drag you into the mix by miss quoating or not understanding the point you were making.
> 
> Easier said than done!



So true, and a very good suggestion.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

Dogbert said:


> Someone leaves a poop and all the flies go crazy.


So what does that make the mods? Never mind, I really don't want to hear it.


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