# menage a trois :/



## troubleinparadise (Dec 8, 2008)

*So recently, within the last month or so during sex with my husband one night, he randomly asked me what my fantasy was. I was kind of hesitant to answer because I didn't know what he would say. So without going into details amongst you all too much I told him that it was a threesome with another girl & him and it is just that, a FANTASY! Well to begin with he had me convinced that maybe it would be fun to turn the "fantasy" into a reality & at first I was all game. It sounded great until I started to think about it. I thought about seeing another woman pleasuring my husband and him being inside another woman & all the things he does with me (him doing to her) & honestly it broke me.. Now I can't even imagine it (becoming a reality I mean) I feel like it is best left as exactly what it is a fantasy, FOREVER or until I'm comfortable enough to try it! Which is DEFINITLEY not now! Well I've been contemplating my feelings about it for the past couple weeks & have come to the conclusion that it's just not for now.. Well my husband has been on it about it because let's face it, he's a man & what man DOESN'T fantasize about it.. but he's been scoping out girls and such & I'm even more NOT about that! IF AND ONLY IF, I was to do it. I would want it to be discreet & never have to see that person again! Horrible? I think not! But anyways today I finally broke & told him that I didn't want to do it right now or anytime within the next month or so.. pretty much anytime in the near future.. & I don't want to say he snapped but he kinda did he got offended & was like I knew you were going to say this & so on & so forth and he kinda made me feel like crap for saying I didn't want it. Which I think is TOTAL bull (correct me if I'm wrong) but I feel that my comfort and his love for me should make him a little more understanding.. He just began to get very short with me & kinda like he was irritated. I don't know I think it was crappy! He said I give up and I quit trying whatever it's never going to happen, like a little kid that didn't get their way! I just don't know how exactly to handle it.. I AM NOT COMFORTABLE with the idea of it.. & another thing that bugs me is that I feel like if it was to happen he would expect it more often versus just sex with me & I'm NOT okay with that at all. I just don't like the idea of it all around, him pleasuring a girl, her pleasuring him ANY OF IT & another thing is I don't want him to think it's okay to sleep with other woman, I just see a lot more con's then pro's.. So I guess my question is how do I go about this, well dealing with him & this situation.. Am I wrong for telling him my fantasy & then saying NO I don't want to do it? HELP!?!?*[/B]


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## troubleinparadise (Dec 8, 2008)

WOW! No responses... So is this really a difficult question?! I don't know.. Maybe I'm crazy for asking about it.. hmm.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

You know, I think this threesome fantasy is like a trademark fantasy for every male. 

Sometimes my husband joked about it - at least I thought he was - but in these occassions I used to actually call his bluff and seriously reply "sure, so long as you reciprocate and we have a threesome with me, you and another guy too".

Neither configuration ever happened.


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## TeaLeaves4 (Feb 19, 2010)

reachingshore said:


> You know, I think this threesome fantasy is like a trademark fantasy for every male.
> 
> Sometimes my husband joked about it - at least I thought he was - but in these occassions I used to actually call his bluff and seriously reply "sure, so long as you reciprocate and we have a threesome with me, you and another guy too".
> 
> Neither configuration ever happened.


This is a great response. I'd say to him. It should shut him up unless he's a total misogynist, in which case you have a different problem altogether.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

LOL, thing is whether my husband joked or not, I knew he would never share and his general attitude has always been "my mate, stay away!". I was always in the clear LOL

troubleinparadise should think on it and consider whether there is actually even a slightest chance her husband would go for such a "deal". If yes, then she will be really screwed, no pun intended LOL


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## sailorgirl (Jun 9, 2010)

I don't think you were wrong for telling your husband your fantasy. But I think you should explain to your husband that your fantasy is nonthreathen because it's just that--a fantasy. You don't have to worry about him finding this other woman more attractive, or yourself feeling jealous of this other woman because she isn't real. But the second you actually go out and make it real then all those other negative feelings become real as well. And you just do not want to have to deal with the negatives that can come from making your fantasy real. 

Maybe it would help if you and your husband looked into role playing instead of menage a trois.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

"_in these occassions I used to actually call his bluff and seriously reply "sure, so long as you reciprocate and we have a threesome with me, you and another guy too"._"

That is just priceless. I laughed out loud, literally.

So, troubleinparadise, just how did you answer him? You stated.....

"_So without going into details amongst you all too much I told him that it was a threesome with another girl & him_"

.....but later gave us the details that made you change your mind. Did you give him those same details?

I'm asking because you can always ask him exactly what is it he wants. It seems you are willing to be with another girl but don't want him to be with the girl. So ask him if that is enough. Simply tell him that by answering his question, you shared a fantasy with him and told him it was supposed to stay a fantasy. Tell him he blew it all out of proportion because he wants it more than you do. And tell him he is wrong to act like such a child and make you feel bad. Tell him you want - and have every right to want - your husband only unto yourself and it hurts you that he so strongly wants to be with another. That should shut him up. Then offer a little bonus. Most men like seeing women together, so tell him that although you don't want him to be with the girl, you ARE willing to be with her for him. That's likely what he most wants anyway.


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## tjohnson (Mar 10, 2010)

First off you have the right to change your mind considering what is being contemplated here. As others have said this is the ultimate male fantasy and one of my tops as well. I would not however, really want to do it as I think the pitfalls for everyone involved totally eclipse the possible pleasure that could be derrived from actually doing it in my opinion. Plus, I am of the mindset to not expect to get what you are not willing to give. I would never want my wife with another man so how can i expect her to be ok with me being with another women? 

However, I would not suggest calling his bluff and saying ok to a girl third if you can have a man as your third unless it true and it sounds like that is not true. Unless, it is true then i would not throw it out there. This would be game playing and Tit for tat (or tit for Di#$...lol). 

I would put and end to his hopefullness and let him know emphatically you are not ok with it if you have not already. My guess isyour concerns will not change. this will stop his pestering. He will not be mad at you later if you decide the other way/ Perhaps meeting him halfway could be to watching girl on girl porn or somthing would suffice. 

There are so many hazards to a 3 way that could leave permanant damage to the relationship.


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## wife&mama (Jun 12, 2010)

I would be wanting to know why he has a desire to be with another woman so bad. Or at all for that matter. I could understand talking about it if the subject came up. Discussion is fine. But for him to be even the least bit upset because I don't want to let him be with another woman??? There would be major problems that would need to be addressed. When a man and wife get married, they are supposed to only have sex with eachother. End of story. At the wedding, they promise to only be with eachother and for eachother. 

I would be very hurt, want to know why I'm not enough for him, and suspisious of why he wants to.


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## reachingshore (Jun 10, 2010)

Of course I wasn't serious when I suggested the "deal". Maybe instead of writing here "seriously replied" I should have written "replied with a straight face" (as in, appearing to consider it, but having my own conditions). Sorry, English is not my first language LOL

There are women that are OK with an idea of a threesome. I am just not. I know how I would feel during and afterwards.

I knew what my Husband's reaction to this would be, and it was precisely what I thought it would be  That is why I followed up with a bit of a warning for troubleinparadise.

Most men don't seem to realise what it is they are asking, what the implications of this supposed "harmless" fantasy would be to, I am assuming, most women. They do not seem to consider the possibility that certain women may be as possesive of their men, as the men are of their women. Some men only think about the excitement of it, they don't think past the deed, and I think that is why they even suggest it. 

The objective of the "challenge" was to teach my husband something and it was precisely this:



> I would never want my wife with another man so *how can i expect her to be ok with me being with another women*?


Kudos for you - you already know this


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## MEM2020 (Aug 23, 2009)

As a guy in a happy 20 year marriage I will tell you that you are being smart about this. And he is being - a young man - about it. 

Just tell him you are sorry he is disappointed but that this isn't going to happen. And then move on - and don't spend time talking about it, or arguing. If he presses hard, tell him that he is going to discourage you from sharing ANY other fantasys you have with him.




troubleinparadise said:


> *So recently, within the last month or so during sex with my husband one night, he randomly asked me what my fantasy was. I was kind of hesitant to answer because I didn't know what he would say. So without going into details amongst you all too much I told him that it was a threesome with another girl & him and it is just that, a FANTASY! Well to begin with he had me convinced that maybe it would be fun to turn the "fantasy" into a reality & at first I was all game. It sounded great until I started to think about it. I thought about seeing another woman pleasuring my husband and him being inside another woman & all the things he does with me (him doing to her) & honestly it broke me.. Now I can't even imagine it (becoming a reality I mean) I feel like it is best left as exactly what it is a fantasy, FOREVER or until I'm comfortable enough to try it! Which is DEFINITLEY not now! Well I've been contemplating my feelings about it for the past couple weeks & have come to the conclusion that it's just not for now.. Well my husband has been on it about it because let's face it, he's a man & what man DOESN'T fantasize about it.. but he's been scoping out girls and such & I'm even more NOT about that! IF AND ONLY IF, I was to do it. I would want it to be discreet & never have to see that person again! Horrible? I think not! But anyways today I finally broke & told him that I didn't want to do it right now or anytime within the next month or so.. pretty much anytime in the near future.. & I don't want to say he snapped but he kinda did he got offended & was like I knew you were going to say this & so on & so forth and he kinda made me feel like crap for saying I didn't want it. Which I think is TOTAL bull (correct me if I'm wrong) but I feel that my comfort and his love for me should make him a little more understanding.. He just began to get very short with me & kinda like he was irritated. I don't know I think it was crappy! He said I give up and I quit trying whatever it's never going to happen, like a little kid that didn't get their way! I just don't know how exactly to handle it.. I AM NOT COMFORTABLE with the idea of it.. & another thing that bugs me is that I feel like if it was to happen he would expect it more often versus just sex with me & I'm NOT okay with that at all. I just don't like the idea of it all around, him pleasuring a girl, her pleasuring him ANY OF IT & another thing is I don't want him to think it's okay to sleep with other woman, I just see a lot more con's then pro's.. So I guess my question is how do I go about this, well dealing with him & this situation.. Am I wrong for telling him my fantasy & then saying NO I don't want to do it? HELP!?!?*[/B]


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## troubleinparadise (Dec 8, 2008)

WOW! To all the responses, THANK YOU! =D My husband has not "given up" per say on the subject but brings it up during sex, when things get very hot & heavy. I like dirty talk during sex, but a couple nights ago I feel he went overboard with a few things he said.. which were a long the lines of wouldn't it be so great to have another..... "p***y here".. @Susan2010: I believe you hit the nail on the head, I am comfortable with the idea of me & another woman but not him, simple as that! I think that's what it all boils down too & I have actually brought up the ultimatum.. the we can have an extra girl, if I can have a guy & he simply says.. well that's not your fantasy or nonchalantly blows it off as if I didn't say it & continues on the subject of another woman... WHICH I HAVE FULLY COME TO TERMS THAT I AM NOT OKAY WITH A THREESOME WITH HIM! Not only would it be a horrible turning point in our marriage but I believe I would hold some very resentful feelings toward him if I did so. I just wish I could go back to the night & never say anything, it's been blown out of proportion. I know many of you say that if I actually presented the idea & was like "okay, let's do it" many guys would back down. But he hasn't in fact he began looking for women & harder.. I don't think there is much more I can take even without the actual event happening it has caused bad feelings towards him which I am in the process of trying to deal with.. Sometimes, I wish life just had a rewind & delete button..


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

Well just give it sometime...

My wife and I have thought about this.

Have you ever thought about attending a swingers club near you? We have done that, and we found out, we like the sexual charged atmosphere, but liked staying with ourselves.

so basically we would go to this club, have drinks, and be wild in our own way, my wife was "offered" by many men, she aways said no thank you, but it would turn her on.

I think you could have some fun with this, but I think the possibility is running wild in your husbands head.

My wife prefers a FMF as well, but it never panned out. I have offered her a MFM with a friend of ours, and she said no.

So, we agreed on the swinger club, where we can watch others play, and we can be watched by others, but we kept to ourselves.

So we have that "naughty side" by going to this forbidden venue, but we have never played with others. She has sexy outfits she wears and does flirt somewhat, as do I.

But this could be a possibility for you, look into local swinger clubs in your area, surprise your husband by offering to go to one, but tell him, NO PROMISES, you are just checking it out and not to pressure you, set ground rules, as in, like we have "no alone swapping" either it is complete couple or zero...well it has always been zero, and we pretty much gave up on the notion....it just was not for us.

If you do go this route, I recommend a place that is COUPLES ONLY, you want no place that involves single males.

It ahs been fun for us, it makes us a bit naughty, but nothing we are not comfortable with, just enough spice.

I admit, I was busting at the seems when we went our first time, I was like a school boy....but once my wife had fun with me in the club...I was good, so was she.

So that is my recomendation, Scrap the threesome, but hit a club, be a bit naughty with him only, something out of the ordinary.

I can't stress this enough to women, Men really don't want to cheat. But doing the same thing over and over again...is boring.

It needs to be spiced up, either Role Playing, or doing something out of the ordinary, something that would Surprise him or WOW him.

It goes a LONG WAY in a husbands mind, when his wife does something naughty just for him.

Just my opinon ladies. BTW I been with my wife 20 years, we have sex almost daily, sometimes it's quick, sometimes its hot and passionate, sometimes it is role playing, sometimes it is naughty, sometimes it's romantic....keep it fresh and fun.


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## Susan2010 (Apr 19, 2010)

I want to insult your husband LOL, but I won't. He isn't here to see it so, hey. But surely you know he is treading dangerous waters, right? He's throwing a wrench in your relationship and a wedge that widens by the day. You have to put a stop to this and to do so, you have to hit him hard. It is necessary for him to feel what he's doing to you so he gets the message to stop. If you take my advice, I'll leave what to do entirely up to you, but you have to do something. As long as he objectifies you like this, he pushes you farther away. You say you are in the process of trying to deal with those bad feelings, but you can't deal with anything like this. Each person in a relationship/marriage has to feel valued according to their own sense of worth. Women, in this respect, cannot be made to feel like an available cu*t. Like he married someone for regular coochie. Seriously now, his intentions are his own but you don't have to be privy to it in such an acute way. He has no idea the damage he is doing, and all you know is how terrible it makes you feel. Don't allow this to continue. Stand up for yourself and your marriage and find a way to knock him upside the head.


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## Christie (Jun 27, 2010)

I'm so sorry you're going through this... I get the impression that your husband (whether he was conscious of it or not) baited you into expressing a desire he already had himself. Then he lured you into giving the okay, and now he's manipulated you into believing that you have done something wrong by defending the already existing boundaries of your relationship. I could be wrong, but if this is what happened, it's an unacceptable way of operating within a relationship. If he was feeling unsatisfied, he should have found a more direct, honest way of communicating those feelings. Good luck to you guys!


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## Christie (Jun 27, 2010)

*One last thought*

Trust and honesty are the two most crucial elements in alternative relationships. If he can't be trusted to listen to you and respect your feelings *now* when you guys haven't even done anything yet, how can he be trusted to do so in the heat of the moment, when you guys are navigating uncharted territory?


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## Allen153 (Jul 13, 2010)

My wife and I have been together 36 years we married very young and I have been her only lover, or this is what I have been told. We have talked about a threesome MFM before during sex (I brought up the subject) and this made her very hot since this would be her only other man. When I bring up me finding someone else or does she have someone in mind she makes the comments in wanting the MFM but then totally goes the other way. She believes to old and weights to much to do this lifestyle. I don't have a problem with this as most men the fantasy watching his wife with another man is exciting. I don't know if I should drop it or layout a meeting some night at a bar or night club without her knowledge for a man to meet with us and talk. She is kinda flirty with the men and I love to watch her even at this point. Should I drop it or arrange a meeting with a selected person (male) to see where this might go?


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I think he did a trust damaging move to move your fantasy from there to reality without being really damned sure you were on the same page. And if I were you, I would tell him so. Hey I won't feel safe to talk to you if you take what I say and mooosh it...


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

The bottom line is that he cannot make you do anything you don't want to do. I would be straight up with him and tell him directly that it is not happening. It's all well and good to worry about his feelings and whatnot but it basically comes down to the fact that you don't feel comfortable with it, so thus it will not happen. Whenever he brings it up, ignore what he says until the subject is dropped. You have to set clear boundaries for this otherwise he may keep thinking it is a "possibility". Make it clear that it is not a possibility. Fantasies are all well and good but everyone knows that a lot of them don't work out in real life.


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

Well some do ofcourse, but a lot of them end up in heartbreak (eg. other posts about couples who tried the threesome thing and it ended up ruining their relationship).


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## happilynewlywed (Jul 26, 2010)

Hello, first poster here. I'm a man who's been married less than two months, but with my wife for over 3 years. For most of that time we have to some degree or another been open to the idea of sexual activity with other men and women. I'd like to share some of my thoughts because we talk about this issue a lot, and obviously have come into contact with many other couples to navigate these tricky issues sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

For starters, I can see why your husband is upset and acting pissy, I just wish he wasn't. It is one thing to point out that he is being immature, having a bad attitude, and honestly acting against his own self interests... but also let's remember that sometimes just because we know better, doesn't mean we can help from being disappointed. I feel for him, he let himself think it might be possible to live a dream that he never thought was possible, then realized it was just a dream. If we want to exaggerate a bit, it is like being told you won the lottery... then waking up in the morning and being told it was a mistake and you didn't win after all and it is time to go back to your normal life.

That being said, managing a committed relationship, and also fooling around with other people, requires a rock-solid basis of communication, and a complete trust between each other. There are no hard and fast rules, no ceremony, no traditions and cultural norms that control how to play with others, without diminishing from your current relationship. Therefore it can't be done lightly and easily. You absolutely must trust that your partner is always giving you their honest opinion on the subject, and you always need to give them your honest opinion.

I remember one time my wife and I went to a local couple's house to possibly have a 4-some with them. We had only talked online before, so we all sat around in their living room for about an hour, mostly small-talking, getting to know one another and feel it out. They were really nice, seemed like a great couple, and seemed really excited. We learned that she was the one who brought up the idea, and who really wanted it to happen. Well... just a minute or so after the kissing started, she suddenly stopped everything. It became clear that all this time (probably for months) she was just going along because she thought it was what he wanted. For her it was a fantasy, but when it came time to make it real, she tried to pretend she was OK with it. We were perfectly understanding and supportive, and praised her for the courage to stop it when she did. I haven't talked to them since, but hope they were able to work out the problem between them.

For anyone still reading. There is a kind of woman that my wife and I really can't stand, and we run into her all the time. These women who think it is OK to play with other women, and just make their boyfriends/husbands watch. It is OK for her, but not for him. What bull. What incredibly selfish double-standards.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

to each their own, it would never happen or even be discussed in my marriage, by either of us


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## cherrypie18 (Feb 21, 2010)

Stand your ground and tell him it's not going to happen no matter how much he whines and nags and manipulates you. He IS being childish. A fantasy is a fantasy and if one of the spouses is not OK with it, it's not OK to push or force them to do it. 

Also agree with _wife&mama_, why does he want another woman so bad? Why don't you just ask him that question?


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

My ex-husband used to do this all the time, only I never expressed a threesome fantasy to him. You've made clear to him that it's not going to happen, and you're just not comfortable with it. If he's persisting in asking you to do it, and getting mad when you refuse, you really need to look at what is going on here. He asked you to express a fantasy; you did. He asked you to make it reality; you refused. That should have been the end of it. The fact that it wasn't indicates there is something going on here.


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## LoveLostHusband (Jul 24, 2010)

reachingshore said:


> You know, I think this threesome fantasy is like a trademark fantasy for every male.
> 
> Sometimes my husband joked about it - at least I thought he was - but in these occassions I used to actually call his bluff and seriously reply "sure, so long as you reciprocate and we have a threesome with me, you and another guy too".
> 
> Neither configuration ever happened.


Excellent response. Play our the fantasy in your mind of how you would feel it being with another woman and then get his reaction of how he would feel if it was with another guy. I know I would go insane if it was with another guy just because to me it would be awkward at best and also because I think it would just end up in a fist fight the second the other man put a hand on my wife in a sexual way. Therefore no matter how much of a fantansy it may or may not be it would never come to a reality. 

Just like the OP said when she started thinking of her husbane being inside another woman it put her off of her own fantasy. Sometimes fantasies aren't meant to be played out in reality because that is what makes them "fantasies" there are no consequences and reprocutions like there are in reality. That is why affairs are so damaging to relationships....wives/girlfriend/husbands/boyfriends might have numerous of fantasies about sex with their spouses' friends throughout the course of a relationship....but once those fantasies become a reality the relationship is ruined and in some cases families and friendships are broken up. So I would be worried about the after feelings and consequences of making your fantasy a reality before moving on this. 

As for him snapping about you not wanting to persue it in the near future....just tell him that you will have the threesome with the other girl after you guys have the threesome with the other guy first. See how snippy he gets after that.


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## seeking sanity (Oct 20, 2009)

I've lobbied for this one and gotten the "another guy first" line. 

Threesome's are hard because it IS a huge male fantasy. Many of us have had the "one that got away" kind of experiences - chances for a 3way that didn't pan out for whatever reason. And we think about it in retrospect and go, if only I'd said/done/didn't say/didn't do --x--. So it exists as a legitimate possibility in our minds. Plus many of us know of some guy somewhere who somehow fandangled a little horny harem of women, and it triggers a hair of envy. Sort of like knowing a guy who won the lottery.

So part of being a man is taking a shot at it,because it's better to have tried and failed then not tried. But the other part of being a man, as MEM alluded to, is being gracious about ending the conversation when the woman turns you down.

Chalk it up to immaturity, and lack of understanding of women. He's just a bit dense. Forgive him for it.

You may want to tell him that you find his pouting a turn off, and that if he wants to be getting regular sex from ONE woman, he should let it go.


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## EbonyBreal (Jun 28, 2012)

troubleinparadise said:


> *So recently, within the last month or so during sex with my husband one night, he randomly asked me what my fantasy was. I was kind of hesitant to answer because I didn't know what he would say. So without going into details amongst you all too much I told him that it was a threesome with another girl & him and it is just that, a FANTASY! Well to begin with he had me convinced that maybe it would be fun to turn the "fantasy" into a reality & at first I was all game. It sounded great until I started to think about it. I thought about seeing another woman pleasuring my husband and him being inside another woman & all the things he does with me (him doing to her) & honestly it broke me.. Now I can't even imagine it (becoming a reality I mean) I feel like it is best left as exactly what it is a fantasy, FOREVER or until I'm comfortable enough to try it! Which is DEFINITLEY not now! Well I've been contemplating my feelings about it for the past couple weeks & have come to the conclusion that it's just not for now.. Well my husband has been on it about it because let's face it, he's a man & what man DOESN'T fantasize about it.. but he's been scoping out girls and such & I'm even more NOT about that! IF AND ONLY IF, I was to do it. I would want it to be discreet & never have to see that person again! Horrible? I think not! But anyways today I finally broke & told him that I didn't want to do it right now or anytime within the next month or so.. pretty much anytime in the near future.. & I don't want to say he snapped but he kinda did he got offended & was like I knew you were going to say this & so on & so forth and he kinda made me feel like crap for saying I didn't want it. Which I think is TOTAL bull (correct me if I'm wrong) but I feel that my comfort and his love for me should make him a little more understanding.. He just began to get very short with me & kinda like he was irritated. I don't know I think it was crappy! He said I give up and I quit trying whatever it's never going to happen, like a little kid that didn't get their way! I just don't know how exactly to handle it.. I AM NOT COMFORTABLE with the idea of it.. & another thing that bugs me is that I feel like if it was to happen he would expect it more often versus just sex with me & I'm NOT okay with that at all. I just don't like the idea of it all around, him pleasuring a girl, her pleasuring him ANY OF IT & another thing is I don't want him to think it's okay to sleep with other woman, I just see a lot more con's then pro's.. So I guess my question is how do I go about this, well dealing with him & this situation.. Am I wrong for telling him my fantasy & then saying NO I don't want to do it? HELP!?!?*[/B]


Wow! Your story is similar to mine except he wanted the 3some and I kept refusing and then, after about a month, gave in and it was the WORST day of my life! You're making the right decision saying no because you are not totally comfortable with it. What you say is bothering you like: seeing your husband pleasing her, is definitely gonna happen and you'll regret it. I am still dealing with this eventhough it happen 2 and half years ago because she is his music artist and he is her producer/manager and they still work together. I wanted to not have anything to do with her afterwards and he told me that they will do 1 or 2 albums and that would be it but she's done 1 album, a couple of singles, mixtape album, and finishing up on album 2. He says this is the last one and he's not doing anymore. I want to believe him but IDK.
You're making the best decision for your marriage in not going through with it since you have doubts and is not completely comfortable with the idea of your husband being with someone else. It will hurt you and haunt you forever. Or, at least that's what it is doing to me.


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## not who i used to be (Jul 3, 2012)

I am new here, but this is a terrible idea imo. He may end up liking the 3rd party more than he like you...or he may sadly discover you like the 3rd party more then you like him. 

I know a person who did something very similar and their marriage was never the same. The husband started accusing his wife of enjoying the other person more than his wife enjoyed him etc. Just wreaked havoc on their marriage.


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

reachingshore said:


> You know, I think this threesome fantasy is like a trademark fantasy for every male.
> 
> Sometimes my husband joked about it - at least I thought he was - but in these occassions I used to actually call his bluff and seriously reply "sure, so long as you reciprocate and we have a threesome with me, you and another guy too".
> 
> Neither configuration ever happened.


WoW... Are you my wife?


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## Complexity (Dec 31, 2011)

Threesomes shouldn't happen in marriage. I had them when I was in University but my girlfriend at the time made sure the other girl was absolutely hands off for me :/ (why she even suggested it still baffles me) anyway, to any and all who are married and contemplating a threesome, do not do it.


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## J.R.Jefferis (Jun 27, 2012)

Correct me if I am wrong but, isn't a fantasy just that? A fantasy? He asked you what your fantasy was and you were very honest and told him. But that doesn't mean you actually want to DO it. I don't think your husband is being fair. In any case, I like several of the suggestions given by others in this thread. Good luck!

JR


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## DocD (Jul 6, 2012)

My wife told me something similar but it was clear that she had some real interest in women. 
There is no way she could do a threesome as she is so jealous. A few years later, I decided to give her a birthday present.....a sensual massage with another woman. I set it up....she went to her appointment and came home hours later looking wiped out...and quite happy by the way. We have not done it since but both of us enjoyed it (me just knowing she was so turned on.)


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