# How to know if someone is finacially responsible?



## davimark (Jul 11, 2012)

I am 24 making a decent income but not excessive ($75k) this includes both my regular job, and a small business I own. My girlfriend (yup not married yet but hopefully sometime) does not make very much at all (in fact barely enough to live on). I have no problem with this...once we marry I will be the "breadwinner" and really do not want to have my wife need to work. 

I think it is very important for us to be on the same page when it comes to money. She never has enough...how can I know whether it is because of a lack of income (ok with me) or bad spending/saving habits (which are not ok)? I might add that we talked about this quite a bit...and she does agree with a lot of my values in this area. I am a very skeptical guy by nature...and unless I can see something I am very doubtful.


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## ItMatters (Jun 6, 2012)

What's her credit rating and does she do her taxes? Those are great indications of how she handles her obligations.

Does she know how much you make? Maybe you could take a financial course together? Talk about budgets etc.

Is she always buying stuff? Gotta have a new car? Want to go out to nice restaurants etc? Is she always spending your money?


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## heartbrok3n (Jun 5, 2012)

Does she keep her spare change in a jar? Or are her coins lying everywhere? Does she already have too much stuff/garbage? Does she buy things on discount in bulk and end up not using them?

Are her eyes always glued to eBay, Amazon and the like? Does she always complain about not having enough money but goes on trips or still buys more [email protected] anyway?

Unless she is careful with money, i wouldn't tell her how much i was making cos it's highly probable that she will leech off of you and take you for granted.


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## J.R.Jefferis (Jun 27, 2012)

davimark said:


> I am 24 making a decent income but not excessive ($75k) this includes both my regular job, and a small business I own. My girlfriend (yup not married yet but hopefully sometime) does not make very much at all (in fact barely enough to live on). I have no problem with this...once we marry I will be the "breadwinner" and really do not want to have my wife need to work.
> 
> I think it is very important for us to be on the same page when it comes to money. She never has enough...how can I know whether it is because of a lack of income (ok with me) or bad spending/saving habits (which are not ok)? I might add that we talked about this quite a bit...and she does agree with a lot of my values in this area. I am a very skeptical guy by nature...and unless I can see something I am very doubtful.


Hi David. This is very important to address before you get married. There are some very specific questions that you must ask each other in relation to how you handle finances. I you are interested in a resource I have developed, send me a private message. It is a questionnaire for couples planning to get married that has many questions that help you discuss these important issues. Let me know.

JR


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## davimark (Jul 11, 2012)

I have no Idea about her credit rating, but she doesn't borrow much money, so I assume it would be non-existant. Nope no "new" car. As far as restaurants go she is almost to "cheap" for my tastes (think Mcdonalds). Always spending my money...Um Yup.

Not sure what happens to her change...I never see any laying around...maybe she spends it. Yes she likes buying things in bulk...because you can save money that way...I cannot tell though that she never uses the things. 

Yes she likes shopping online and buying things she does not absolutely need. But I do have a problem faulting her for this as I spend probably 50 times as much on things I don't need.

To late...she already knows how much I make.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Speaking from experience, don't get married unless both of you can agree on financial matters. I spent more than 20 years fighting a losing battle in that area.

Red flags to me are numerous credit cards and bouncing checks. Also, look at financial priorities. For example, is designer clothing more important than having the oil changed in the car. Or as in my brother and his wife's case, her car always has priority over the house. Their roof has leaked for so long until a rafter has rotted out and the roof is dipping in. Yet, she just had her car painted. Make sure you and your girlfriend can agree on financial priorities.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

davimark said:


> I think it is very important for us to be on the same page when it comes to money.


 Absolutely HUGE, you are wise to seek this out. It is one of the leading causes of marraige problems, right up there with SEX & Communication. 

Taken from my Compatability thread >>>> Do you agree on how to spend MONEY ?







This is the #2 reason for Divorce. Don't think one will change... the habits you see in dating are likely habits for life. Know what you are marrying... a spender who will need HIGH cash volumes for happiness or a Saver who can relax a little, put his/her feet down & still get the bills paid on time.

 The 6 Financial Mistakes Couples Make 




> .how can I know whether it is because of a lack of income (ok with me) or bad spending/saving habits (which are not ok)?


 If she complains about not being able to have what others have, always needs brand new & the best...and not showing a thankfulness for what she does have... it's not a good sign. 

***** Does she comparison shop - research to find the best deals to be had? Good sign if so. Using coupons when available to save money, whether restaurants, Dept Stores, etc. 

***** Does she postpone her material wants ....making sure she has the money in the bank before she purchases so it can be covered in full? 

Paying interest on credit cards is one of the most unresponsible financial traps people fall into. It has become the American Way, it only makes that Bicycle one bought for $100 end up costing 3 Xs that much -when only the minimum is paid on the credit statement. 

A truly Responsible spender does not take debt lightly, they are not fond of owing anyone or any institution....they will work hard to clear themselves. 

They will have the attitude that Luxuries can wait ... while they are struggling & on the poorer side, they will be planning for the future but not jumping ahead -cause they need something RIGHT NOW. 

Some "delayed gratification" is a blessing in such things. 

Speaking from one "tight wad" SAHM who used to own this book...  The Complete Tightwad Gazette  ....Husband never had a good job, but we hit our debt free mark within 17 yrs of our marraige...pretty much cause we were utterly on the same page financially....both savers. 

DEBT of any kind will always bother a Responsible Spender -they will want out from underneath that. This is lesson #1 .


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