# MIA Husband mid text??



## separatedmomof3 (Oct 6, 2010)

This is the strangest thing ever. My husband left town yesterday and is due back tomorrow. We are currently separated and he lives in an apartment across town. Tonight we were on the phone texting back and forth for about 30 mins. or so having a fun converstaion about what we are going to do tomorrow when he returns and he stops answering me :scratchhead: I wait about 20 mins. and text him again to see if he is there no answer :scratchhead: I call hiim to see if he is ok, no answer :scratchhead: It has now been an hour since he responded and I am worried that something is wrong, this is not like him at all. I called the hotel he is staying at and had them ring his room, no answer. He had said he was in meetings all day and then went to have drinks with his co-workers after the meetings, is he passed out drunk in his room (unlikley I have not seen him drunk in the 23 years we have been married) or did he just fall asleep and not hear the phone, did he go out? In our separation he assured me there is no one else so I can't see that he went out. Am I niave?

I have no clue but I am very worried about him? What should I do he is in another State???


----------



## misspuppy (Sep 19, 2010)

sounds to me like he just simply passed out.. depending on how much he drank, he could have passed out too. I do not drink but when i do it only takes a little to make me pass out, LOL hubby calls me a "puxx" for not holding my own.. so, if he can not hold his drinks down then i would say simply that.. he could have fallen asleep too. sometimes i will fall asleep while i am on the computer or texting someone.. it happens, sounds like he had one to many and he is passed out .. i would call him in the morning and check on him.. dont worry to much.. im sure he is fine


----------



## separatedmomof3 (Oct 6, 2010)

This is crazy, I am worried sick about him. Crazy I know he left me and moved out and here I am up at midnight worried about him. He can handle his drinks, I have never even seen him drunk in 23 years so I just can't imagine that he paseed out drunk. I had the hotel ring his room in case his phone is on silent from his meetings and they said no answer (twice). I hate to over react but I am thinking about having someone at the front desk go and check on him. Am I crazy????

This is nuts!


----------



## misspuppy (Sep 19, 2010)

it would not hurt to have someone go check on him.. if you say he can hold his liquor, then, for your own peace of mind call the front desk and have them check on him, maybe he took a shower and fell asleep after?? like i said i would not be to worried, no sense in getting all worked up for nothing. put your mind at ease and call the front desk..


----------



## separatedmomof3 (Oct 6, 2010)

So confused here. He just called me, two hours after his last text and said that he thought I fell asleep. I asked him if he looked at his phone and saw where I had texted hiim several times and left him three voice mails he said he did that is why he called me. He did not sound drunk at all. He said he was laying in bed with his earphones on listning to music while we were texting and he did not hear when the phone ring when I had the front desk call his room twice.

During this separation (going on six weeks now) I trusted him that he had not had an affair, now I am beginning to wonder if I am being taken for a fool I dont know how someone could be in a small hotel room and not hear the phone ring twice, or feel the vibration go off in your hand several times, even if you are weaing ear phones.

Now I have an entire new thing to worry about, is he cheating on top of leaving???

Good God when will this nightmare ever end???


----------



## misspuppy (Sep 19, 2010)

Ok now it just IMHO it sounds like you have it stuck in your head that he is cheating on you.. it is possible to not hear the phone ring in a hotel room with earphones in, and it is possible he set the phone somewhere else where he could not hear it, he did call you back, sure it took him a while, but he did call you back.. 

my suggestion to you is CALM DOWN! dont get all worked up just yet, yes you are separated, but, it also sounds like he reassured you that he would not cheat on you.. of course he is out of state, so there is no way of telling if that is happening or not.. but, dont go jumping the gun until you know for a fact. how foolish would you feel if you did jump the gun and found out later that he did not cheat? 

for now i would take his word for it UNTIL he proves otherwise.. sorry if it sounds like im taking his side, but, im the kind of person that "gives the benefit of the doubt" and for me to believe cheating has happened, i need pretty hard core evidence (IE pics of my hubby banging another chick), but, that is ME. Im not you, i am not in your shoes, i do NOT know your relationship, i can only give advice based on what you have told me on here.

do what you feel is right and i hope for the best.


----------



## healingme (Aug 21, 2010)

You're doing your own head in. I know. I've done the same thing since separating. But rather than instantly think of an affair, I assumed he was being an idiot and "giving me space" (yes, he actually did that when I texted a few times and called asking if he was going to go home and give the cat his medicine. When I asked why he ignored me, he said "I thought you needed some space". Still angers me.) Anyhow, nothing anyone says here will make you feel any better. You have no control over what he does. You did mention that the texts were 'fun' before he stopped replying. Maybe he thought they undermined his decision to leave and didn't know how to communicate that with you. Maybe he didn't want to lead you on. 

Please do not try to get inside his head right now. It's most likely a pretty foggy, disorienting place and for you to go there and wander around through the male mist, searching for clues and answers is only going to lead to you feeling even more lost than you do already. You must start looking after yourself. With my almost-clear hindsight, I really wish I'd spent as much time worrying and caring about myself and what _I _do with _my_ time as I spent worrying and caring about how _he_ was spending _his_ time.


----------



## separatedmomof3 (Oct 6, 2010)

Misspuppy and healingme - Thanks so much for your thoughts. I have never in all of our years thought that he would cheat on me but then again I have never thought that he would move out and leave me and our kids. I guess since he always replies to my texts and voice mails I just got worried. He called this morning and acted like no big deal, might have been no big deal to him but I was awake until 2:00 this morning and get up at 4:30 it is a big deal to me.

Why once they leave that is the first thing we think of? I still don't know what happened last night, I am not so sure that I believe he feel asleep and did not hear the phone or feel the vibrate of the ring (he told me his phone was in his hand when he woke up???) I just don't know what to do or what to think anymore. 

Thanks again for your thoughts, it helped


----------

