# Whats Normal?



## miax (Sep 1, 2010)

My husband and I just got back together after a long seperation. We are rarly having sex, and I am begining to wonder whats going on. What are the most common reasons why a husband/male looses their sex drive? Should I be conserned or wait it out? I ask him whats going on and he say's hes just, "not in the mood". The last few times we did have sex it was ackward and he could hardly hold an erection, or had no desire to "finish" . Any Advice?


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Depending on his age, it could be a testosterone deficiency. Or it could be depression, diabetes....there's a number of things it could be. Most would require a visit to the doctor in order to not only diagnose but to treat them. 

If you're concerned, talk to him. If you don't want to directly address the sex issue, suggest he go to the doctor and get a thorough checkup.


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## mrnice (Aug 11, 2009)

Heres a few reasons.
He may not have any interest.
Stresses in life cause lack of interest.
I must admit I've gone in half hearted for a sex session and half way through started thinking about stupid stuff and resulted in a softy. 
Offer to watch a porno with him and then do it. I doubt he won't be in the mood then.
Get some toys involved.
Masturbate for him


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

He may be having getting or keeping an erection and avoids sex because he's embarrassed. There's Viagra and assorted other medications that can help if that's his problem. There's also other ways to pleasure you and you might guide him toward some of those.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

It is either a hormonal issue (low testosterone- does he have other symptoms: brain fog, always tired, falling asleep after work?), a relationship issue (any resentment?) , attraction issue, or even performance pressure (embarrasment), or a health issue (Diabetes, high blood pressure, blood vessels narrowing). Viagra generally will help them all - so long as he is willing to be with you, and you do your part to "arouse".

But getting to the root cause is important. I personally have caused my husband "Performance Pressure" issues in the past- as I was simply wanting him too much, PLUS he has lower -but normal Testosterone levels. These things played on my mind alot as I worried it was a Desire issue, then I would start worrying about his levels. Thankfully I have overcome most of this. But an occasion slither of Viagra, oh what a blessing! 

How old is your husband ?


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

It could be related to your relationship problems. You got back together, but whatever caused the breakup could still be keeping him resentful.

Anytime a loving normal person withholds affection or anything from a partner, I think you have to look at subconscious or conscious anger.

A loving normal person will find a way to make it work.

I had this problem in my own marriage. My husband kept turning me down because he was angry, and he did not even know he was!


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