# Am i being fare



## fightingtostay (Sep 11, 2011)

I've been married a year and 3 months now I know they say it want all be good times you'll have some bad times but oh my God I did't expect it all to be bad ........Okay 6 months ago my husband lost his job and everything fell upon me at first i was okay and as bill kept comin in and nothing else i felt over my head . mind you everyday he was going to a shop that he called a job that he worked from 9 to 6 pm everyday he said the shop had to get off its feet and soon he would be making money and we would be okay well months went by no money but the guy who owned the shop never went hungry are tried to see what bill they could skip to get by another day its like he never thought about home ..i had to sell my car cash in my life insurance just to keep us a float it seem i lost everything and him nothing everyday got harder and i began to fall out of love not meaning to but i felt so alone and he was not being a man holding up his part...well 2 months ago that shop closed we still had no money and i could no longer keep up with the bills rent anything and now a month later we are homeless ( stayin in a extend hotel) my things packed in a storage i look at him i feel so much hatered i close my eyes when he kisses me and say he loves me and he will make it better sometimes all i wanted do is yell it all your fault ...i have been on my own since i was 18 always had a plce to call home now am 40 first marriage and all i want to do is scream and yell why me ..i want to bail so bad .. i hate him so much am i wrong....


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## lady1 (Jan 31, 2012)

I'm so sorry you are going through so much. I can't imagine how hard things must be for you. I hope that things have gotten better since your post. Do you two have any kids? Do you have a job? Has he been looking for work? Focus on getting financially stable for now, and see how you feel about your marriage once the money situation is taken care of. I'm sure you will feel like you have more options and more hope once you two are on your feet again.


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## Itsacommitment (Jan 30, 2012)

So let me get this straight. You say you loved this man, yet after just 6 months of money problems you say you hate him so much? Yes you are wrong. My God, that was not true love if some money problems cause you to hate your husband. 

The man hasnt cheated on you or stolen from you or done something stupid like gamble away all of your money. He thought he had a job that would make enough money after it was up and running. He worked hard on it, and it didnt work out. Sounds like the owner of the shop screwed you guys over. 

Its been six months. It must be awful that you dont have a home and are struggling so much financially. But to say that you had to lose so much and him nothing is just ridiculous. He's lost nothing?? That type of self centered attitude is what destroys marriages. Blaming this situation on your husband is extremely unfair. And giving up on him after 6 MONTHS of hard times is so unfaithful. So much for "through good times and bad." 

I hope I'm wrong, and maybe you can explain a little more. But honestly, your post disgusts me. You never loved your husband if you hate him after your first difficult time together. Thats not love. I'm so thankful I didnt marry someone as fickle with their love as you are. I cannot believe you are actually saying you hate your husband. I feel very sorry for him.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I'd be kinda pissed off too if I was living in a motel room.


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## Itsacommitment (Jan 30, 2012)

PIssed off? Of course you would! That doesnt mean it was her husbands fault. And even if his mistakes caused that, we all make mistakes. He obviously loves her and I doubt he did it to specifically hurt her. He made a poor judgment call and got screwed over. 

Do you really think this warrants her HATING her husband? thats pretty freaking messed up. So much for love and loyalty.


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## k-ci (Jan 4, 2012)

Im also very sorry to hear that, I would also wanna rip his head off but lady1 is right, see how you feel once the money situation has settled. Dont give up on him yet. Marriage is a full life commitment. You sure he isnt addicted to drugs or gambling or anything that made it so he wouldnt take a full-time job at a fast food place or grocery store.. I know it might not be ideal but he must of seen you guys struggling financially from a mile away before having to give up everything to live in a motel... I mean come on. Didnt he try to help out instead of just hoping he would start making money... Is there something you dont know? Im not saying this could be it, but it dosent hurt to explore other ideas because after 6 months of marriage (unless your britney spears) you shouldnt be keen on the idea of hating your husband if it wasnt even his intention or fault.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

The OP is long gone... her post is from 9/11.

I wonder if he was getting paid but blew the money. I wonder if she ever checked with the man he was working for.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Itsacommitment said:


> PIssed off? Of course you would! That doesnt mean it was her husbands fault.


Yes actually it does mean that.

Anyone who works for no pay while responsible for raising a family is not fit to have that family.
He`s also stupid, who works for nothing?



> Do you really think this warrants her HATING her husband? thats pretty freaking messed up. So much for love and loyalty.


Niether love nor loyalty feed the kids.

While I`m unsure if this should inspire hatred for my spouse if I was in the OP`s position it would definitely inspire hatred for myself for marrying such a person in the first place.

Lost home, car, everything because her husband was stupid.

I`d be a bit pissed.


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## Itsacommitment (Jan 30, 2012)

Again.. I never said it was wrong to be pissed. I also said, his mistakes may have led to that problem. Its fine to be angry. But hatred? No. Hatred makes his wife a terrible wife. The man thought that it would pay off. He made a terrible mistake and things when downhill. Who said anything about kids?? There are no kids in her post. Sometimes people take risk and work for free while trying to build a business, because it CAN pay off. If no one ever took that risk...there would be ZERO successful business. My husband and I are doing that right now. Things can go downhill too quickly before you're able to stop it. That's why going into business is a risk. But it doesn't warrant hatred! That's ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Be upset. But hate your husband for one thing going wrong? You dont deserve to be anyones wife.


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## memyselfandi (Jan 10, 2012)

Times like this are extremely tough on a couple and I certainly feel your pain!! It's hard when you're trying to make a living for everyone while the two of you are living in an "extended" hotel, after pretty much selling off everything you've worked so hard for.

Have you looked into any type of aid that can put you into welfare housing? In addition, this type of aid will help pay for utility bills, etc., while helping your husband find work.

Don't let it ruin your marriage. Everybody hits rough spots and by finding some help in your community rather than living in an extended hotel..you may be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Don't give up and much luck to you!!


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