# every day same misery



## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

ive been trying so hard and still nothing from wife.. SICK of it.. everyday is misery.. im getting to the point where if she doesn't want to be here just LEAVE. this in house separation is HELL...


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## Kauaiguy (May 8, 2011)

socal04 said:


> ive been trying so hard and still nothing from wife.. SICK of it.. everyday is misery.. im getting to the point where if she doesn't want to be here just LEAVE. this in house separation is HELL...


Been there, done that ... try it for about 10 years!

It can be done if you can be happy with yourself and find things to do to occupy your mind. ie. Go play sports, go out with friends, read, watch movies ... etc.

But if you're waiting for something to happen between you and wife, it could be a long day in hell! Not only is it aggravating, but heartbreaking!


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

Ugh I can't imagine an in house separation. I'd sob every day.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

socal04 said:


> im getting to the point where if she doesn't want to be here just LEAVE.


Have you discussed this with her?


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

trying to figure out that do do/say... ive been very busy with work.. going to the gym at least 3 times a week.. playing sports on saturdays... and about to start boxing.... yes im in great shape now..

at night the misery is worse cause honestly i miss her.. she needs to do some counseling on her own.. her doing nothing absolutley WONT work.. i can live with baby steps but nothing is something i've had enough of the last 7 weeks.. especially when ive done alot of serious work on myself.. and continue to do so... i think i was just angry when i started this thread


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

Kauaiguy said:


> Been there, done that ... try it for about 10 years!
> 
> It can be done if you can be happy with yourself and find things to do to occupy your mind. ie. Go play sports, go out with friends, read, watch movies ... etc.
> 
> But if you're waiting for something to happen between you and wife, it could be a long day in hell! Not only is it aggravating, but heartbreaking!


Kauaiguy - you were separated 10 years?????


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So what is the plan? Continue living in limbo? Get a separation? (a real one?) Divorce? 

If she has stated she won't do counselling with you, you need to accept that and decide what YOU want to do.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

I hear tyou jelly beans.... ive made a lot of progress on me... i just was mad as hell.....

our story is she wasnt getting affection she needed... told me every now and then and i mean maybe twice a year... in the middle she would act fine/happy... i was wrong for not giving her the amount of affection she needed but she never said exactly how much she needed and i was raised with none... in the meantime we still had sex 3 times a week and i dont mean boring sex...

not shes had it and we have NOTHING emotionally or physically... am i partly to blame? YUP.... but she has blame also... im not dracula......

she hasnt worked in 12 years I do everything financially which is not that easy.. so yes bieng very busy and bieng raised with no affection its no mystery she wasnt getting enough and i didnt really kow how much she needed caue she NEVER SAID. she feels like the only way to get my attention is to stop sex... so to me before she got a lil affection ... now she or i get nothing.....

obviously i have alot of blame but she does also.. this is somethine WE created. i never intentionally withheld affection but everything she is doing now is intentional


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

socal04 you know this is the first post I've read from you where you've shown any emotion whatsoever. I think this a good thing. You are starting to sound less like a doormat and more like a man. Does she get to see you like this? Angry that is. It's very alpha.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

wow magnoliagirl really?? thats how i was coming off?? 

yea im mad as hell.... i told her this morning how ive been doin max work and it appears she doing nothing and wants to do nothing and ho im baffled at her ... she said she was shocked at me bieng baffled.

we have NOTHING for the last 7 weeks.. i mean NOTHING... why would this be cool for me? its BS shes intentionaly doing this and its HER fault she harbored anger and resentment for years and didnt deal with it or really express it... would have been nice to know when we were having sex like 1000 times... ... im sure she got something out of it.. i love her alot ALOT but this is B.S. 

if i came off soft before its becuase i was/am hearbroken..
no im angry also... 

is her behavior not a lil confusing?


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Ok doormat might have been too strong of a word I just felt like your wife was behaving weird and I felt you just allowed her to do this live in separation thing. You did come across soft and I found myself wondering why you weren't mad.

I have no idea what is going on with your wife but I still bet it has nothing to do with you. My gut is still saying something else is going on. Either way it does sound like she's done and now the balls in your court. What are you going to do about it?


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

What's the matter, aren't you a mind reader? C'mon Socal dude, really, she was telling you she needed affection by brain osmosis. The sex part was just to let you know she was not very happy with your being distant. You should have figured all that out on your own while you were working to support your family. Because us men know that we are the experts at picking up vibes from women, especially when they go silent.

OK, and now for my next BS comment.....:rofl:

Socal, really and all joking aside, you are in my situation exactly. I feel ya, only I have not reached the anger stage yet. I am still heart broken not only for my marriage but for my entire family. I wish our spouses would have been better at relaying what they wanted in plain english. Sorry ladies, men are not that emotionally intelligent but most of us sure as hell get it when we hear it - oh and BTW, just telling us once usually doesn't really sink in; doesn't mean we don't care, just means we think we cleared the air at that moment. Being mad and silent about it absolutely make things snowball and many times make a mountain out of a molehill.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

Thanks brighterlight.. just wanted to make sure im not going INSANE..

and sorry ur going thru something similar... maybe private message me so we can compare notes if u want....


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

Magnoliagirl --.. what am i going to do?? hell of a question... i dont know.. i still love her... she thinks im in a hurry to repair things..

we sleep in separate bedrooms and have no sex in 7- 8 weeks.....

im sick of anxiety and sadness and confusion.. im trying to figure this all out as i go..

but guess what i wouldnt have sex/make love with someone if i was deeply angry and resentfull.... for YEARS!!

but remember its all my fault.. her only fault ever is not responding to my inaffectionate ways properly.. other than that she is blameless... BULL sh*t


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Is she passive aggressive? Look it up. Was shocked when I did.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

is this behavior considered normal by women... do most women act like this.. why not express EXACTLY what you want from your man.. spell it out... if you want to be kissed 6 times a day and held a certain way why not say exactly that... that way its crystal clear...


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

I don't think what your wife did was normal. Complain, act happy, complain, act happy, lather, rinse, repeat. Now I've done this too but it's called PMS and I knew it had nothing to do with my husband and it only lasted a few days. It didn't cycle around every 6 months like what your wife was doing.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

im pretty sure im not the only man out there that loves wife deeply but unsure/unaware of how to really express it daily.. and gets caught up with work and life and the 32000 other things that need attention ... including kids.... .. not an excuse but if he is trying to work on what you need why shut down totally? its not like we grew up combing doll hair and hugging each other and going to the bathroom together.. we are raised different.. if you fall down suck it up and dont cry.. .. were raised to not show too much emotion or be labeled a punk.. HELLO..


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

thanks magnoliagirl...... I appreciate ur opinion.... 

i wont even talk to about the lack of sex/horniness.. im about to go nuts..


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Sexual frustration I feel for ya. My husband withheld sex from me a lot in the first 7 years of our marriage. Almost left him because of it.

Time to pull out the porn?


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

guess i have to .... not a huge fan of that... but what choice do i have..


shocked a woman suggested that.. but ur right


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Going without sex makes me cranky.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

me too .. how dare i act cranky/frustrated... havent had a woman touch me in 7 weeks


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

It will be okay. Take care of yourself. You will feel better.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Socal, I will IM you later today. I see in your post a mirror copy of my situation. All of it; I still love her deeply, and in some crazy way still thinking there is hope, but i know there isn't; too many cards stacked against us. Only difference I see between you and me is that I was raised with very affectionate parents so I am sitting here wondering if that is really even a factor for you in your situation. I mean, I don't see it; it seems we are raised with two different backgrounds but have the same wife and issues. She is the every 6 month, roller coaster with me. I guess she waits, everything is great and then, bam! wait, you are not giving me enough attention, etc. And for the sex, you think seven weeks is bad, try three months!!!! Like magnolia girl said, I am so sexually frustrated right now I can't stand it. Something's gonna give there, I am not really a fan of porn either, I need the intimate connection that sex brings with it, but I may have to go there. :rant:


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

yeah ... hit me up later.. im curious to compare notes


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## Kauaiguy (May 8, 2011)

socal04 said:


> Kauaiguy - you were separated 10 years?????


We lived separate lives but in the same household for about ten years.

She would always lock herself in her room(s) to where I seldom saw her except when she's getting ready for work and for about 20 minutes during dinner time. But we didn't eat together because she turned vegetarian.

That was the extent of that relationship when I finally had enough last January and approached her on what we could do to fix our relationship. LOL! She opted for a divorce and so I gave it to her.

I expected it, but be careful how you approach your wife and be ready to hear what you don't really want to hear.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

wow... no idea how u made it 10 years... why was she upset with you?


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## wemogirl (May 31, 2011)

brighterlight said:


> What's the matter, aren't you a mind reader? C'mon Socal dude, really, she was telling you she needed affection by brain osmosis. The sex part was just to let you know she was not very happy with your being distant. You should have figured all that out on your own while you were working to support your family. Because us men know that we are the experts at picking up vibes from women, especially when they go silent.
> 
> OK, and now for my next BS comment.....:rofl:
> 
> Socal, really and all joking aside, you are in my situation exactly. I feel ya, only I have not reached the anger stage yet. I am still heart broken not only for my marriage but for my entire family. I wish our spouses would have been better at relaying what they wanted in plain english. Sorry ladies, men are not that emotionally intelligent but most of us sure as hell get it when we hear it - *oh and BTW, just telling us once usually doesn't really sink in; doesn't mean we don't care, just means we think we cleared the air at that moment. Being mad and silent about it absolutely make things snowball and many times make a mountain out of a molehill*.


First of all, I just want to say I'm so sorry for all you're going through with your wife. I am new here so I don't know your story but it sounds like you're really hurting.

I do have a question regarding this post of yours, though. I'm not trying to be snarky or anything but when you say we (women) have to say something more than once, how often do we have to repeat a request or complaint before something changes w/o being seen as a nagging you-know-what?

Also, could you clarify the part I bolded? When you talk about being mad and silent do you mean right after the clearing the air talk or later if the behavior repeats itself? Sorry if my questions aren't clear - your post sounds like something my DH would say and I'm trying to figure out the thought process behind it.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Stingy with affection and unwilling to help share the financial burden? Both are indicators of plain 'ol selfishness and I suspect your alleged lack of affection is just a BS excuse. People don't just wake up one day lazy and self-centered. I'd be surprised if there weren't indications of her sense of entitlement and selfishness when you were dating.


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

Thought process behind it is a bit complicated. And since you asked, I will try to answer it but keep in mind that I am letting you know, as you requested, from a man's point or view.



wemogirl said:


> First of all, I just want to say I'm so sorry for all you're going through with your wife. I am new here so I don't know your story but it sounds like you're really hurting.


Yes, quite a bit. She quit on our marriage and close knit family just five weeeks ago, *after 36 years of marriage* - a lifetime. She suffered from an incurable form of cancer last year and I thought I would lose her; that was horrible, I don't wish that on my worst enemy. I spent every moment by her side for 13 months; fighting with her - she has beat it to where it is under control and she is doing great now - I thought this was going to be the best year we've ever had because of that terrible learning experience - I was wrong; she asked for a D - officially I have been greiving for almost 2 years now. Yes, I am really hurting.



wemogirl said:


> I do have a question regarding this post of yours, though. I'm not trying to be snarky or anything but when you say we (women) have to say something more than once, how often do we have to repeat a request or complaint before something changes w/o being seen as a nagging you-know-what?.


Enough times to where you know that you were clearly heard and understood; could be once, could be more than once - I can't give you a definite number but in the art of clear communication - you should ask that he repeat your request to make sure that it sinks in AND THAT HE CLEARLY INTERPRETED WHAT YOU SAID - it's good for both of you. There were many times when my wife would say something from a distance or from another room and she assumed I heard it - I didn't - then she would come back 2 months later and be pissed because "she already went over that". Yeah, well, in my mind it's the first time I've heard it. I guess I would say to that - make sure that you are face to face and there is reception on the other end. It's a communication skill. Also, the way the request or comment is delivered will determine how it will be received; if your tone of voice, inflexion, or body language appears to be aggressive, he will clam up tighter than a drum and get defensive and won't hear a word you said. Ask or request when tensions are not high. - again, communication skill.



wemogirl said:


> Also, could you clarify the part I bolded? When you talk about being mad and silent do you mean right after the clearing the air talk or later if the behavior repeats itself? Sorry if my questions aren't clear - your post sounds like something my DH would say and I'm trying to figure out the thought process behind it.


It doesn't matter if it is later or right after you clear the air - that is pointless. Obviously, the person is mad that would be a given - the magic trick is for the guy to figure out why she is mad when she goes silent. She may think, he should know I am mad because I am not talking! Think about it, really, we should read minds and enter a guessing game. A lot of times, she was upset for a reason that I guessed wrong. I know that she was mad - I just couldn't put my finger on the exact reason on many occasions (not all). So what happens is that, she stays mad because he isn't correcting it but he doesn't know what needs to be addressed because she's clammed up tighter than a drum - things start to spiral, snowball and then a mountain out of a molehill. The problem many times in my case was that what I was thinking was the problem was FAR worse than what was really bothering her - so then I would get upset. It was a vicious circle and all it needed was some verbal communication.

Well, those are some of the reasons I posted what I posted but certainly not all of them. If she was to keep her eye on the ball - our marriage and our families - what's that is worth, instead of getting irate - I would have been much more affectionate to her at those particular moments, and not tried to avoid her in order to avoid a confrontation simply because I didn't have a clue as to what the h**ll was bothering her. Like I said in my post, most men are not that emotionally acute to be able to pick up the clues. It shouldn't be a game of charades. BTW, you might be thinking, well instead of guessing, why didn't you ask her? I tried that once - she got more pissed off/fuming and her answer was (and not in such a good tone of voice), "you should know what is wrong!" - I revert back to my post. OK guys, how many times have you heard that one? It's better to not even approach her at that point.

And this is just my experience, keep that in mind. So this isn't a 100% generalization, but I know it has to be common.


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## wemogirl (May 31, 2011)

brighterlight said:


> Thought process behind it is a bit complicated. And since you asked, I will try to answer it but keep in mind that I am letting you know, as you requested, from a man's point or view.
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, quite a bit. She quit on our marriage and close knit family just five weeeks ago, *after 36 years of marriage* - a lifetime. She suffered from an incurable form of cancer last year and I thought I would lose her; that was horrible, I don't wish that on my worst enemy. I spent every moment by her side for 13 months; fighting with her - she has beat it to where it is under control and she is doing great now - I thought this was going to be the best year we've ever had because of that terrible learning experience - I was wrong; she asked for a D - officially I have been greiving for almost 2 years now. Yes, I am really hurting.


Wow. I'm really sorry for all you're going through. I hope you have a good support system to help you through this. 



brighterlight said:


> Enough times to where you know that you were clearly heard and understood; could be once, could be more than once - I can't give you a definite number but in the art of clear communication - you should ask that he repeat your request to make sure that it sinks in AND THAT HE CLEARLY INTERPRETED WHAT YOU SAID - it's good for both of you. There were many times when my wife would say something from a distance or from another room and she assumed I heard it - I didn't - then she would come back 2 months later and be pissed because "she already went over that". Yeah, well, in my mind it's the first time I've heard it. I guess I would say to that - make sure that you are face to face and there is reception on the other end. It's a communication skill. Also, the way the request or comment is delivered will determine how it will be received; if your tone of voice, inflexion, or body language appears to be aggressive, he will clam up tighter than a drum and get defensive and won't hear a word you said. Ask or request when tensions are not high. - again, communication skill.


I know we have issues with communication. I have a history of talking too much and he doesn't talk enough, IMO. I'll ask him what he wants and how he wants me to be - what I can do to be a better wife- and all I get is "I don't know. What do you want me to say?" I am a lot more confrontational than he is (in our relationship anyway, not with other people ) so I admit I can be aggressive when I'm really upset. I'm trying to be better about that.

One thought about your post. If I ask him to repeat back what I said to him, he'd see that as my treating him like a little kid and it would tick him off. I've asked him if he understands what I'm saying and he'll say yes but there's no way I'd ask him to repeat it. Perhaps some of our issue is that he isn't understanding what I'm saying but I think a bigger part is that he does hear me and does understand what I'm saying, but is choosing to continue to act in the same way anyway.






brighterlight said:


> It doesn't matter if it is later or right after you clear the air - that is pointless. Obviously, the person is mad that would be a given - the magic trick is for the guy to figure out why she is mad when she goes silent. She may think, he should know I am mad because I am not talking! Think about it, really, we should read minds and enter a guessing game. A lot of times, she was upset for a reason that I guessed wrong. I know that she was mad - I just couldn't put my finger on the exact reason on many occasions (not all). So what happens is that, she stays mad because he isn't correcting it but he doesn't know what needs to be addressed because she's clammed up tighter than a drum - things start to spiral, snowball and then a mountain out of a molehill. The problem many times in my case was that what I was thinking was the problem was FAR worse than what was really bothering her - so then I would get upset. It was a vicious circle and all it needed was some verbal communication.
> 
> Well, those are some of the reasons I posted what I posted but certainly not all of them. If she was to keep her eye on the ball - our marriage and our families - what's that is worth, instead of getting irate - I would have been much more affectionate to her at those particular moments, and not tried to avoid her in order to avoid a confrontation simply because I didn't have a clue as to what the h**ll was bothering her. Like I said in my post, most men are not that emotionally acute to be able to pick up the clues. It shouldn't be a game of charades. BTW, you might be thinking, well instead of guessing, why didn't you ask her? I tried that once - she got more pissed off/fuming and her answer was (and not in such a good tone of voice), "you should know what is wrong!" - I revert back to my post. OK guys, how many times have you heard that one? It's better to not even approach her at that point.
> 
> And this is just my experience, keep that in mind. So this isn't a 100% generalization, but I know it has to be common.


I have to laugh at the "you should know what is wrong" comment. I just said that to my DH the other day.  Actually, it was more "I don't even want to tell you b/c I don't want to start a fight" but the same idea holds true. I was very upset that he didn't know what was wrong since we had just talked about it the night before. And in my mind, the issue wasn't resolved.

So when we talk about something that is bothering us, once that conversation is over, do guys just think that's the end of the issue? Is that what you mean by "clearing the air"? I feel like that's where our relationship is "stuck". We have the same arguments over and over and nothing changes.

Thanks so much for your insight.


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## wemogirl (May 31, 2011)

socal04 said:


> I hear tyou jelly beans.... ive made a lot of progress on me... i just was mad as hell.....*
> 
> our story is she wasnt getting affection she needed... told me every now and then and i mean maybe twice a year... in the middle she would act fine/happy... i was wrong for not giving her the amount of affection she needed but she never said exactly how much she needed and i was raised with none... in the meantime we still had sex 3 times a week and i dont mean boring sex...*
> 
> ...


I'm not trying to justify your wife's behavior at all but this sounds like something I would do. I wouldn't be able to wait 6 months before saying something, but in the past, after I would say something, I would feel better and would be happier. Especially if I thought I had gotten through to my DH about what was bothering me. And if she wants affection (especially physical affection), she probably enjoys the affection she gets from being intimate with you.

I know you said you never intentionally withheld affection and I totally believe you. But the fact that she told you she wanted more (albeit rarely) and still felt like you weren't giving her enough afterwards could be why she wants to hurt you. Even if you didn't do it on purpose, it still hurts and she's trying to make you hurt now the way she did in the past. I'm not saying that's right and that's how she should handle things but I'm just guessing that may be where she's coming from with her recent actions.

I'm sorry for all you're going through.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

i think weekly or monthly checkpoints would be helpful ... that cant be too hard.. or when spouse asks are you ok? maybe you should say whats really up..... women seem to love to say nothng wrong ..when there is an issue... huh ???


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## brighterlight (Aug 13, 2009)

hey wemogirl, thanks. I know what you mean about, the "you should know thing." It's so funny how men and woman have so many varying degrees of differences in our emotional and mental make-up. It would be great if we could learn to "read" each other better - and I mean that mostly for the guys, most of us s**ck at emotional relationships once we get comfortable with our SO - fail! I know! The word comfortable is not a good thing when it comes to nurturing relationships. I think we all fall into these traps but the majority of times it's us guys that do that. Never on purpose though, I think it's some cruel joke nature plays on us.

As for your H feeling ticked off if you ask him that. You might be able to soften that blow by telling him, you will do the same for him. Also, you can let him know that for millions of people, it's a reinforcement and actually a good trait to have for better communication skills. You can find that exercise in communication skills books all over the place. It's the reason that people in politics and people that are very good at remembering faces can do what they do. Haven't you ever seen someone introduced to another person and say something like:

Person offering a hand shake: Hello, my name is Joe, pleased to meet you.
Person being met: Hi Joe, I am Mike, nice to meet you.
Person offering a hand shake: Mike <notice they repeat the name>, pleasures all mine. So where did you.....yadayadayada

The reason for the repitions is because it helps to reinforce memory. It may not be the best time to explain that to your H when you are arguing or mad, but wait for a better time. IMO, best thing though is to get a book on communicating and tell him something like hey, you know what I read in this book.....

I mean, it's just a thought. Oh yeah, one more thing, communicating is 80% body language - don't know if you know that. So when you approach someone with a particular type of expression, they read 80% to 90% of what your saying by the way you move, express it, etc. There's a book by an auther named Jan Hargrove called "Let Me See Your Body Talk." It's a pretty interesting read if you would like to learn or be informed about how men and woman make different gestures to signal certain emotions. She is a speaker and has been to our company to hold classes on business communication but she has also been used in high profile legal cases such as the OJ Simpson case. She is one of the panel of body language experts that the lawyers for the prosecution used to see if they could get a read from OJ to determine whether or not he was telling the truth. Anyway, I thought her book had a lot of interesting (and at times funny and amusing) little tidbits on picking up the others persons (opposite sex) possible intentions.

And I agree with Socal, communication is crucial.

Whew, geez that was long winded. Sorry, I did not mean to get off topic.


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## wemogirl (May 31, 2011)

socal04 said:


> i think weekly or monthly checkpoints would be helpful ... that cant be too hard.. or when spouse asks are you ok? maybe you should say whats really up..... women seem to love to say nothng wrong ..when there is an issue... huh ???


I think weekly/monthly checkpoints are an awesome idea! Again, I'm so sorry for all you're going through, socal.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

thanks for the kind words wemogirl ! just putting one foot in front of the other at this point.


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## yourbabygirl (May 28, 2011)

How I wish there is some kind of drug that you can drink and you will just be ok and not feel any kind of pain. 

It hurt so much I wish I were a sociopath so I will never fall in love again. I can't stop crying and yet my stupid heart continues to beat and hurt and just make me so miserable. 

But then again, I don't want to be ok.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

socal04 said:


> is this behavior considered normal by women... do most women act like this.. why not express EXACTLY what you want from your man.. spell it out... if you want to be kissed 6 times a day and held a certain way why not say exactly that... that way its crystal clear...


Why? Because they are not men.

Women do NOT behave like men. They do NOT just pour it all out on the floor and deal with it. They exect more from the man. Like attention and thought.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

socal04 said:


> me too .. how dare i act cranky/frustrated... havent had a woman touch me in 7 weeks


 What did you do before you got married? Screw anyone who would let you? Or did you wait til you found someone it mattered with? That's what most women do.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

socal04 said:


> i think weekly or monthly checkpoints would be helpful ... that cant be too hard.. or when spouse asks are you ok? maybe you should say whats really up..... women seem to love to say nothng wrong ..when there is an issue... huh ???


Yep. That's a woman, exactly.

Maybe it's in your best interest to actually do some reading and learning to find out WHY and HOW women act the way they do.


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

turnera said:


> Yep. That's a woman, exactly.
> 
> Maybe it's in your best interest to actually do some reading and learning to find out WHY and HOW women act the way they do.


are you saying this behavior is normal and expected?? really?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

I'm saying if you really want your wife back teh way she was, and you want a fulfilling marriage, you'll spend less time stressing over what you're not getting, and more time reading and counseling and learning about WHY a woman takes the path she does, and learning about YOUR woman in particular. 

You can't make her want you or make her do what you want. All you can do is be the person that attracts her. Start with Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus, or else His Needs Her Needs. Read one of those this week.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

brighterlight said:


> What's the matter, aren't you a mind reader? .


Hope you don't mind, but I have just 'stolen' that.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

socal04 said:


> me too .. how dare i act cranky/frustrated... havent had a woman touch me in 7 weeks


Get a grip man, wait till you get to 6 months without sex 
These days I get a bit of a kiss & a cuddle (not the ex wife!), no sex, but then again I am not looking for it, anti depressants are great for killing off the sex drive


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## socal04 (Apr 28, 2011)

WOW.... so sorry to hear that..


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