# elephant in the room



## bumpgrind1 (Mar 29, 2010)

In my other post I talk about the problem. The lack of interest in sex. To my wife its a non issue. She wants to act as if everything is fine even after a heated discussion and i sleep on the couch a little peck on the cheek is supposed to make everything all right. I cannot pretend that everything is a-ok if its not anymore. I've been dancing that dance for fifteen years. We fought about the reading of the erotica and how she says it doesnt affect her and i even slept on the couch. She went right back to reading! the argument was the day before yesterday and yesterday we barely spoke. She did clean some of the house but she was right back in the book and she read while we were in bed last night. Am i supposed to just ignore what is and isn't happening here or what. How can someone say that this stuff isn't arousing? And she has absolutely no interest in sex? Is my life supposed to be ok like this? She seems to be fine with it as long as we never mention it, ergo the elephant in the room.


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## bumpgrind1 (Mar 29, 2010)

Star said:


> I have posted a reply in one of your other threads, have you tried a different approach, maybe when she is in bed reading one of her books, join her and take the book off of her and offer to read the book to her, while doing this you could stroke her gently or ask her to read the book out loud and offer to go down on her while you do this? this may seem a bit strange at first but I sometimes do this with my partner and with good results.


She does'nt want me involved with her books. She says that they aren't erotic at all. Most of them arent about that stuff and i just happened to pick one up that was. I've picked them all up and thumbed through them. They all have some degree of sex content and most of them are highly erotic. The format of the porn books is different. They are larger and thinner and theres quite a stack of them. She pulls away when I try to touch them or her.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

not a good sign if u ask me... i am sorry to say this but i'd have to say that this is going overboard. there need to be at least some respect in the bedroom whereby it is the private place of the husband and wife, a place where u guys engage in intimate activities and not turning it into a library!!!!:scratchhead:

anyway, have u actually confronted her? what was her answer? ur questions so far was whether the books are erotic or not, but i think the main question that you may be forced to ask is why is the wife spending so much more time on the book instead of doing something with u..?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

She likes reading erotica? Give her something to read. Start writing her highly romantic, very descriptive letters that would blow the nickers off a nun. You know this woman's body and mind better than any other author.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

unbelievable said:


> She likes reading erotica? Give her something to read. Start writing her highly romantic, very descriptive letters that would blow the nickers off a nun. You know this woman's body and mind better than any other author.


come to think of it, yeah, this's a genius idea! i wonder how the wife will take it when the hubby slips a small note, writing down DESCRIPTIVELY and IN DETAILED all the things that he want to do on her, how hot he thinks the wife will be by doing this n that...

again, no harm trying to save the marriage


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

She may prefer the fantasy over a real lover, but why? Is there any kind of problem in the relationship? Think. Is she mad at you over something? 

Does anyone care to recommend any erotica books? (I've never read any)


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

Is she masturbating while she's reading the book in bed with you? If not, then she probably doesn't find it highly arousing like you suggest. A lot of people are into all the romance and drama in those kinda books, not particularly the sex bit - sorta similar to those drama shows like The Bold and the Beautiful. You just gotta know what happens next! Also, I'm sure the sex in those books would be highly boring to her if she has no interest in sex as she claims. I know a lot of people who read those books and skip the sex part because its extremely corny, lol. I'm sure she doesn't just read them to get off on them. I think you might be jumping to conclusions. But what the hey - that idea about YOU giving her something to read could be a goer if you are that insecure about the books. Can't hurt. Give it a go!


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