# "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."



## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

An interesting question on Slate.com's advice column yesterday. Who wants to bet that she's talking about this forum? Quote:

_ Q. My husband’s fantasy life: I discovered this weekend that my husband belongs to a website for people whose spouses or partners cheated on them. He posts there frequently, and he’s talked about our children, our financial struggles, and my infidelity with my boss. The thing is: I’ve never cheated on my husband. It’d be one thing if he’d created a fictional persona for this website. It’d still be misleading and a cause for concern, but the things he writes about our marriage are lies. A few times he takes an argument we had in real life and filters it through the prism of a man whose wife cheated on him.

I’m so upset. I haven’t talked to him yet, and part of me wonders if there’s a reasonable explanation. Why would he invest time creating this false portrait of our marriage? He’s never expressed concerns about my boss to me, and I’m not even that close to the other man. I could use some perspective: How concerning is this discovery? _

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/12/surviving-infidelity-forum-cuckold-fantasy-advice.html


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## BigToe (Jun 2, 2011)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*

You thought only honest, truthful, forthright, sound minded, people posted in this forum?


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*

Maybe her husband is Lenzi and she will later find 400 other fake threads and identities he has made.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*

As strange as it may seem, it's not unusual at all for someone to create a complete fantasy online and keep it going for a long time, even years. I know someone in my real life who does this.

I would not be surprised if a fairly significant portion of the people who post here are living out some fiction.


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## BarbedFenceRider (Mar 30, 2018)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*

Or, how about how it plays to those who's spouses are cheating with supervisors and now are minimizing it as well as blame shifting....Kind of a cold water to the face moment.....

It's easy to say that spouses are just making it all up. And one bad apple does seem to rot the whole bunch. But, nothing better than to get on a international website, and claim for all who will listen that the loving husband is making it up. And try to use the court of "public opinion" to douse the flames of calls for "cheating *****"...

Either way, we STILL have marriages failing above the half-way mark, and infidelity plays a VERY LARGE part of it. Just as it is accepted in cultural dialog these days.


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## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



Theseus said:


> An interesting question on Slate.com's advice column yesterday. Who wants to bet that she's talking about this forum? Quote:
> 
> 
> https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/12/surviving-infidelity-forum-cuckold-fantasy-advice.html


There are lots of forums where marriage problems are discussed and lots of forums where sex fantasies are discussed. Hopefully, there is more honesty and truth in this forum than in some others.

If the guy is doing this, as a fantasy, he must be "getting something" out of it by posting such stuff. I would suspect he is a pretty socially lonely desperate person, which is sad for a man with a wife and children.


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## Steelman (Mar 5, 2018)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



Theseus said:


> An interesting question on Slate.com's advice column yesterday. Who wants to bet that she's talking about this forum? Quote:
> 
> _ Q. My husband’s fantasy life: I discovered this weekend that my husband belongs to a website for people whose spouses or partners cheated on them. He posts there frequently, and he’s talked about our children, our financial struggles, and my infidelity with my boss. The thing is: I’ve never cheated on my husband. It’d be one thing if he’d created a fictional persona for this website. It’d still be misleading and a cause for concern, but the things he writes about our marriage are lies. A few times he takes an argument we had in real life and filters it through the prism of a man whose wife cheated on him.
> 
> ...


I bet you half the stuff on there is BS. People get off on the weird stories. It's like Penthouse forum.


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## NorseViking (Apr 14, 2018)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*

A cheating partner will often accuse the betrayed partner for cheating.
And if it anonymous what he posted, who cares.
She can reply back in the thread and correct him.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



Theseus said:


> An interesting question on Slate.com's advice column yesterday. Who wants to bet that she's talking about this forum? Quote:
> 
> _ Q. My husband’s fantasy life: I discovered this weekend that my husband belongs to a website for people whose spouses or partners cheated on them. He posts there frequently, and he’s talked about our children, our financial struggles, and my infidelity with my boss. The thing is: I’ve never cheated on my husband. It’d be one thing if he’d created a fictional persona for this website. It’d still be misleading and a cause for concern, but the things he writes about our marriage are lies. A few times he takes an argument we had in real life and filters it through the prism of a man whose wife cheated on him.
> 
> ...


Unless she has decided that what she does with her boss isn't _actually_ cheating. "It doesn't count because my boss and I don't love each other/only have oral sex etc., etc., etc."


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



EleGirl said:


> As strange as it may seem, it's not unusual at all for someone to create a complete fantasy online and keep it going for a long time, even years. I know someone in my real life who does this.
> 
> I would not be surprised if a fairly significant portion of the people who post here are living out some fiction.


I feel like I need to come clean about a lie I told to this forum. In my avatar pic, that's not really my AK, I borrowed it from my cousin for the picture.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



EleGirl said:


> As strange as it may seem, it's not unusual at all for someone to create a complete fantasy online and keep it going for a long time, even years. I know someone in my real life who does this.
> 
> I would not be surprised if a fairly significant portion of the people who post here are living out some fiction.


This has occurred to me. 

Maybe I should feel stupid if I waste my time replying to a bogus thread w/o realizing it. The person who wasted his or her time created it, knowing it was bogus, should definitely feel stupid.

As for the woman whose husband was doing this, it is strange but it's not like people who know her think she's cheating so not a big.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*

*I'd be forced to say that her lying old man gives those of us, who do have legitimate problems and the accompanying painful evidence of our own prior deceptive, cheating spouses, a bad rap as well!

I really hate to use a political analogy, but cheaters seem to develop the "Trump Defense" ~ they deceptively lie and cheat, and then roundly blame the spouse whom they betray, for doing the very same thing!

All while trying to paint or portray themselves with the innocence of a Shirley Temple or a Little Lord Fauntleroy!*


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*

If I can find some way to improve myself from their thread, success, whether it's fake or not.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



arbitrator said:


> *I'd be forced to say that her lying old man gives those of us, who do have legitimate problems and the accompanying painful evidence of our own prior deceptive, cheating spouses, a bad rap as well!
> 
> I really hate to use a political analogy, but cheaters seem to develop the "Trump Defense" ~ they deceptively lie and cheat, and then roundly blame the spouse whom they betray, for doing the very same thing!
> 
> All while trying to paint or portray themselves with the innocence of a Shirley Temple or a Little Lord Fauntleroy!*


Or they employ the Bill Clinton defence?


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



MattMatt said:


> *Or they employ the "Bill Clinton defence"?*


*That's richly referred to as the "Trump-Lite Defense"!

Hillary's worst mistake is that she didn't remove and divorce herself from that scumbag back when she was First Lady!*


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



arbitrator said:


> *That's richly referred to as the "Trump-Lite Defense"!
> 
> ** Hillary's worst mistake is that she didn't remove and divorce herself from that scumbag back when she was First Lady!*


But that wouldn't have benefited her as she wanted to continue riding his coattails because she's ALL about how she can benefit from the blood of her hosts. :FIREdevil:


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



She'sStillGotIt said:


> But that wouldn't have benefited her as she wanted to continue riding his coattails because she's ALL about how she can benefit from the blood of her hosts. :FIREdevil:


*Hillary had even better political connections! 

And I believe that she would have garnered a hellacious sympathy vote! *


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## Nucking Futs (Apr 8, 2013)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



arbitrator said:


> *Hillary had even better political connections!
> 
> And I believe that she would have garnered a hellacious sympathy vote! *


Hellacious? As in from Hell? I agree.


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## sokillme (Jun 10, 2016)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*

I wonder what forum?

If it's on here she can rest assured that he is not getting the sympathy he though he would, assuming he is telling everyone he going to stay with her. :grin2:


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



sokillme said:


> I wonder what forum?
> 
> If it's on here she can rest assured that he is not getting the sympathy he though he would, assuming he is telling everyone he going to stay with her. :grin2:


Good point. For a marriage forum, sometimes I'm stunned how quickly people here want others to pull the trigger on the divorce option.


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## PigglyWiggly (May 1, 2018)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*



Theseus said:


> Good point. For a marriage forum, sometimes I'm stunned how quickly people here want others to pull the trigger on the divorce option.


to me, a couple of posters look really bitter and advise others to do what they didn't have the balls/ovaries to do


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## LosingHim (Oct 20, 2015)

*Re: "Help! My Husband Told an Internet Forum That I Cheated On Him. I Didn’t."*

It’s been several years, but I’ve known people who go on forums and make stuff up just for “fun”. Some of them did it for attention, some just liked to mess with people. Back in the early 2000’s when chat rooms first became popular, a group of guy friends of mine would go on and just make up weird stories and laugh and chat with people for grins and giggles. We’d sit around at a friends house drinking beer (because we were newly 21) and they’d jump in a chat room and just start telling stories. As they’d get responses they’d ask the whole room what to say next. It used to be a big joke with them, who could come up with the most bizarre but believable story. 

Heck, I got in an argument with an ex friend back in September about something totally unrelated, but he still does things like this to this day. We got in an argument on social media because he was trying to claim that he was unjustly targeted by police. But given all of the other stories he used to tell, I knew he was making it up. He just gets off on telling believable lies for attention. He’d left his MySpace signed on at a friends house like 12 years ago. We got in his messages and found out he’d sent the same message to about 20 women, basically hitting on them. Used some sob story about how he was taking care of his grandpa who had alzheimers and a broken arm – probably to gain sympathy and get these women to talk to him. Unfortunately, he hadn’t had any living grandparents for several years. There are people like that all over. Just make up weird but believable stories just for attention.


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