# When do you change the beneficiary for life insurance?



## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

I'm working on the list of steps I need to take. I don't want to wait until the divorce to change the beneficiary on my life insurance. With everything else, I don't want this thought that popped into my head that OM and wifey could plan to off me and get rich.

My children are all minors. Should I just put them as the beneficiaries or find an adult I trust to make them the beneficiary? Any thoughts?


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

I have read a few of your earlier posts and I am sorry for your situation. Yes, I would put it in the name of a trusted adult. You also ight be able toput it into your kids names but make a stipulation to where they would not be able to access the money until they were adults. I would talk with either an attorney who deals with these kinds of things or your life insurance company.


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## calif_hope (Feb 25, 2011)

HurtingTenn

If you want more piece of mind, most banks or insurance companies will help set up a trust for very little or no cost. You name the trust as beneficiary, then you name trusted adults as trustee. Your bank can act as trustee. In the trust set-up you detail your intent for the funds and how and when the beifit your children. You can set up the trust to give your children's guardian a monthly payment and provisions to cover certain costs (medical, dental) etc. And how the trust is to be liquidated when your youngest child reaches the age or conditions you stipulate. 

In this way, if your wife becomes the guardian, she will have no ability to tap into the funds, how she spends the monthly allotment would be difficult to control. The value of the trust that it would take a court order to change the conditions. If you direct the funds to a trusted adult outside a trust struture they would have the freedom to spend the money as the chose....or they could subcum to the greedy preasure from YOUR FUTURE EX WIFE!!!!

Not sure about Tenessee - in California you can have th proceeds from your estate to also be placed in the trust....your house etc. (prevent her from selling it and blowing the money).

The idea being to futrate your future ex wife efforts to spoil her boyfirend at the cost of your chidlren's future. Think about it, you can contiue to fustrate her fog enduced fairytail from the grave!!!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

You are being very wise to think about these things. Unfortunately, some of the scenario you mentioned almost played out in my situation. I learned a lot.

If you have a very trusted family member, get them to agree to "administer" your wishes. I would name that person as beneficiary or set up a trust. Also, do a will. If something should happen to you right now, your estranged wife will get everything. You mentioned you have a retired lawyer in the family. Ask her for help on this matter.

Something else very important right now....Get a medical power of attorney done. Let's say you become very sick and are unable to make decisions regarding your health care. Guess who gets to make those decisions? Yep, the nutty estranged wife gets to make all the calls. This actually happened to me. I was very sick and in a coma a couple of years ago. And my crazy estranged husband was in charge of my medical care. Not only was my illness suspicious, but my estranged husband wouldn't return doctor/hospital calls for consent. My family (brothers) had to quickly go before the judge to get a power of attorney done--because my life depended on it. My therapist now advises all of her separated clients to do this because life is full of uncertainties.


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