# feeling kinda blah.



## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

Hmm... I am feeling blah at the moment. My mind is racing with so many thoughts and memories. I am going to attempt to do the 180 like everyone says. It will be hard because I do have to text my stbxh about the kids. Next week is their spring break. He is going to have them from Friday to Friday. I think I am kinda sad about that. 

It has been 3 months since my husband moved out and 2 weeks since I myself have moved. As each day passes, I feel less and less hopeful that we will be able to work things out. Even though last Saturday, I had alot of hope...but unfortunately that didn't last. I still miss him just as much as I did the day he moved out. Such a big piece of my heart is missing...and I am beginning to feel really lonely. 

I hope I will have success with the 180. I do want to get on with my life...but I just wish I could see into the future and see if we are together. That's all I want.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

ahhh, to be able to look into the future, trouble is, we may see things we really don't want to see !
Remember, 180 is more about *you* than your partner.


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

I didn't think of it like that Crankshaw..."we might see things we really don't want to see".....that would devastate me.....


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

denise1218 said:


> I didn't think of it like that Crankshaw..."we might see things we really don't want to see".....that would devastate me.....


Crankshaw - thats a little formal 

but thats the problem, if you could see into the future, and saw that you weren't together, you would be devastated now, but you wouldn't know until you looked !


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Three months is just the beginning. For me it's been almost 4. I'm just now starting to feel like I have a handle on things. I've heard that at least a year is needed to get a full assessment on the situation. That seems to make sense to me. 

There has been so much evolution in this separation of mine. We separated on BAD terms. Then it got pretty good/hopeful and then it got stormy. Now we don't see each other much (I'm in full 180 mode) and I keep it very formal, polite, cordial..as I would with a business partner that I'm friendly with. Haven't seen him in almost two weeks or talked to him in almost a week. 

We have kids. He blew off my son last Friday. He was supposed to come and get him for the weekend. Didn't even come to pick him up after he said he would not once, not twice but THREE times. Oh, he fell asleep and I guess he didn't remember about my son for two days because that's when we finally heard from him and he got on MY case for not calling HIM! :rofl:

Yeah, my life is so much worse not having him in it. I don't THINK so. 

Take advantage of this time to make some real changes for yourself..and go have some fun. A week without the kids? I hope YOU are planning a vacation as well! I know I would be! :smthumbup:


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## Babyheart (Feb 9, 2011)

I keep trying to look ahead to a year from now because the pain/anger/uncertainty right now is awful. Its very draining.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Denise1218, if it makes you feel any better, I am stuck on an oil rig off the coast of Africa with 130 men.

I hope this brightened your day a little.:smthumbup:


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

Dan F.---Could be a good situation....could be a bad situation....depends are who you are!!! : )

Yes...thank you....it brightened my day!!!!


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

Babyheart said:


> I keep trying to look ahead to a year from now because the pain/anger/uncertainty right now is awful. Its very draining.


Very draining is a very good description !


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

Babyheart said:


> I keep trying to look ahead to a year from now because the pain/anger/uncertainty right now is awful. Its very draining.


A year from now..

Hmmm...My daughter will be graduating. She will probably be knowing what college she is going to. That saddens me. 

Well, I'll get my own room, my king sized bed back and a nice walk-in closet. Then it will be just me and my son. Interesting...

I guess I'll start saving for my motorcycle. By the time my son graduates I'm going to take a few months off and go cross country. I want to do a trip from Vancouver down the PCH to southern California. It's on my "Bucket List". 

Oh..my marriage? Who the hell knows?


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

denise1218 said:


> Dan F.---Could be a good situation....could be a bad situation....depends are who you are!!! : )
> 
> Yes...thank you....it brightened my day!!!!


It's bad. I am a very heterosexual guy.

But at least it made you feel a little better.:lol:


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

How long are you over there for, Dan?


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

started trying the 180 on Friday.....so far so good. the last time we exchanged texts was on Thursday! Hoping this works!!!


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

denise1218 said:


> started trying the 180 on Friday.....so far so good. the last time we exchanged texts was on Thursday! Hoping this works!!!


thats the best you can ask for, but you have to stay strong, and not back down, bloody hard at the start for sure, it does get easier though !


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

I am feeling kinda overwhelmed right now. I know life isn't fair. I know alot of parents have it worse than me...but you know I just need to vent right now.....since my husband left....I have had to go back to work full time...I have had to get rid of the family pets....I have had to uproot my kids into a new home, new city, new school....I have to make sure the kids do their homework....I have to make sure I get them to school and bed on time....I have to make sure they are bathed and fed.....meanwhile my husband who sees the kids every 2 weeks....gets to have the fun with them and not have to deal with any of this stuff.....not fair.


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## Babyheart (Feb 9, 2011)

I hear you. And yet mine gets offended when I say he wants out of the responsibility. As far as he is concerned he is being responsible because he gives me $$ every week. 

I have days too where I am just exhausted doing all the stuff that needs doing. Hang in there Denise, maybe have a glass of wine.


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

or 2.... : )


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## Babyheart (Feb 9, 2011)

I knew I liked ya


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

denise1218 said:


> How long are you over there for, Dan?


I work for 28 days, then get 28 days off.
Hang in there, Denise. Have an extra glass of wine for me. We're dry out here.


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Babyheart said:


> I hear you. And yet mine gets offended when I say he wants out of the responsibility. As far as he is concerned he is being responsible because he gives me $$ every week.
> 
> I have days too where I am just exhausted doing all the stuff that needs doing. Hang in there Denise, maybe have a glass of wine.


Argh, yeah my H is being a 'Dad' as he gives me £ and see's the kids for a few hours once a week... the Father of the year award goes too... *drum roll*............ SOMEONE ELSE! 

I am so tired of going on and on round and round same old crap different day..


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

AmImad said:


> Argh, yeah my H is being a 'Dad' as he gives me £ and see's the kids for a few hours once a week... the Father of the year award goes too... *drum roll*............ SOMEONE ELSE!


(crank gingerly holds up hand, looks around, hmmm, no one sees him)



> I am so tired of going on and on round and round same old crap different day..


And now you change it.


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Crankshaw said:


> (crank gingerly holds up hand, looks around, hmmm, no one sees him)
> 
> Hehe And the award goes to CrankyPants! :yay:
> Not my waste of space no good of a husband who's brain has slipped way down south into his pants...
> ...


AND yes I am changing it! /flex


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

AmImad said:


> Hehe And the award goes to CrankyPants!


yay me 



> Not my waste of space no good of a husband who's brain has slipped way down south into his pants...


boo L



> AND yes I am changing it! /flex


:smthumbup:


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

you guys are so funny!


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

denise1218 said:


> you guys are so funny!


We aim to please  it's that or cry....:scratchhead:


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

True....I would much rather laugh then cry.....I think all of us on this forum have cried enough tears to create another ocean!!!


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

denise1218 said:


> you guys are so funny!


aim & I have spent a lot of time chatting, we feel comfortable with each other and, as it turns out, we both have a similar warped sense of humor, and you know how they say laughter is the best medicine, scientifically it is a proven fact.
So if any of us can make another, especially on here, feel even just a tiny bit better, give even just a small smile, then that is a good thing.
One thing I have learned over the last couple of months is if your if you are happy, don't be afraid to laugh & smile, if you are sad, don't be afraid to cry.

Crank (who is a happy little chappy a lot more these days!)


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

denise1218 said:


> True....I would much rather laugh then cry.....I think all of us on this forum have cried enough tears to create another ocean!!!


and made a healthy profit for the mobs that make tissues !!


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Sheesh... maybe we caused the tsunami with our tears....!!!


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

Crankshaw said:


> aim & I have spent a lot of time chatting, we feel comfortable with each other and, as it turns out, we both have a similar warped sense of humor, and you know how they say laughter is the best medicine, scientifically it is a proven fact.
> So if any of us can make another, especially on here, feel even just a tiny bit better, give even just a small smile, then that is a good thing.
> One thing I have learned over the last couple of months is if your if you are happy, don't be afraid to laugh & smile, if you are sad, don't be afraid to cry.
> 
> Crank (who is a happy little chappy a lot more these days!)



Don't even lie! We hate each other!! You're a boy and my arch enemy you Smeeeeeeeeell *pokes tongue out and legs it*

No seriously, we've built us up quite a supportive network here.. Poor Mr Crank has endured alot with me, I've cried and moaned and he's talked me down and told me to stop being silly 

Freak tells me how it is, to '***** up' as it were  WhereamI and Jellybeans are also straight shooters!

Viv is my kindred soul, so gentle and nice.. and see's the good in us all..

God I could go on! But each person has their own take on things and own qualities, that have helped me in so many different ways!

There are just soooo many


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

still doing the 180.....no texts since Thursday!


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## AmImad (Jan 28, 2011)

denise1218 said:


> still doing the 180.....no texts since Thursday!


So proud of you Girly!! :yay::yay: remember this is for you!! xx


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

awesome!


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## denise1218 (Dec 24, 2010)

ok....need some advice. For those of you that know...I am trying to do the " 180"....I have not had any contact with my husband at all since last Thursday. Well....he just sent me a text....

H: Hi, Denise. Can we meet sometime to talk about the divorce and the house?

I just have to say...I am feeling sad right now.....he still wants a divorce....I was so hoping we could get past this. I love him so very much.


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## Oak (Mar 21, 2011)

Denise,

So sorry that things are still progressing that direction. Remember that its not over until its over, unless you decide to stop trying.

Even though he may be taking note of the change in your behavior, and the lack of contact, he may not have had time to realize what he is losing. Maybe this meeting will be an opportunity for him to SEE the changes for himself. 

Keep it cordial and professional, but stick to your 180 guidelines and remember what you want out of the situation. All that you can control is yourself 

Will be thinking of you.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

denise1218 said:


> Well....he just sent me a text....
> 
> H: Hi, Denise. Can we meet sometime to talk about the divorce and the house?



You reply: "Sure. Let's meet at X place at X time."


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