# It's Raining Men!



## Waits4Mr.Right (Oct 29, 2011)

Ok so the break up with the X was three month ago. I still miss him but I know I have to move on. So I have, only.....
I put a profile up on my old dating site, where I met the X. Surprisingly, he found me within an hour! Anyway, we have agreed to be friends. Ya know, talk in the event we should bump into each other type thing...or so i thought.
Being angry, is just a waste of time. Truth be told, we talk more now than ever..:scratchhead: maybe cuz there's no pressure? 
He now wants to go fishing together. Hoping it's further down the road. Don't wish to see him yet. I need time.

Now this guy at work is talking to me. He's 24 yrs old! Very attractive, he could be Jason Aldeans lil' bro, I swear. Definitely physical attraction But that's it. Our paths into the future are way different. He wants kids, I dont. I like to save money, he spends it on whatever feels good at the moment. He said this, not me. Those are two major things we disagree on. So for me, he wouldn't work for the long haul. 
So do I still hang out with him, knowing it could lead to more intimate things, or should I just shut it down now? I've never had a 1 night stand b4 and I don't want to hurt the guy.

Then there's the dating website. A guy wants to meet for coffee. It could be fun, so i said yes....This was decided after hung out with Mr. Aldean. We never did anything but watch movies but I feel like I'm starting to spread myself too thin.

I still consider myself a free agent to hang w/ whomever I want but I just don't want to dig myself into a hole I can't get out of.

Opinions please?


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Coffee is just coffee.

I would not waste time on the ex. I assume you are a thoughtful person. I assume you are not a frivolous person. I assume you are a compassionate person.

So...assuming all that, you left him for a reason. It was probably a good reason*

Young guy...there is this phrase about using your dining room table as a toilet. As in 'don't'.

Do you REALLY need to add 'strange relationship drama' at work?

If you need a young guy for a self esteem boost, find one who is less work related.

Just saying.


*And if you are none of those things, I would just as soon spare him from you  teasing


----------



## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

You arent nearly over him.
You arent ready to date.

Get it together.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> So for me, he wouldn't work for the long haul.
> So do I still hang out with him, knowing it could lead to more intimate things, or should I just shut it down now? I've never had a 1 night stand b4 and I don't want to hurt the guy.


Hang out with Aldean knowing you guys have very different life goals. Not everyone you date has to end in a marriage... 

Also, how can you "hurt the other guy" if you haven't even gone out with him yet? 

Meet the other guy for coffee. Talk. You may find out you hate him. Or you may end up liking him. Point it, you never know unless you try it.

So many people on this planet. If it's raining men for you, then Hallelujah as the song says!


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

SamuraiJack said:


> You arent nearly over him.
> You arent ready to date.
> 
> Get it together.


Huh? Why are you telling her she's not ready to date? What does she need to get "together?"


----------



## Waits4Mr.Right (Oct 29, 2011)

No I believe I am ready to date. I miss the old boyfriend But Not as in going back to him. He dumped me and that's that. His loss! I will remain his friend but hopefully he moves on as I am doing myself. He's the past, I get it.
As for Mr. Coffee guy, I was thinking the same. I not about to think this guy is it, and I haven't even met him face to face yet. Duh!
As for Aldean, I know he likes me but I think for both of us it's animal attraction. ...Lol I think I just turned red right about now. Lol


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Haha. Nothing wrong with "animal attraction" but you said Aldean works with you (I missed that on the first read) and I always caution against workplace hanky panky/romantic entanglement. It's just not worth it in the long run.


----------



## ChristianGrey (Nov 27, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> I always caution against workplace hanky panky/romantic entanglement. It's just not worth it in the long run.


True... me too. Work place hanky panky does not go well on your annual PEP.

But then.. what if he/she is _the_ one, who fell from the heaven and landed right on the desk next to mine.


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

ChristianGrey said:


> True... me too. Work place hanky panky does not go well on your annual PEP.
> 
> But then.. what if he/she is _the_ one, who fell from the heaven and landed right on the desk next to mine.


If you have that much schwing in your step from seeing this Angel from Above, you don't give a rats ass about your PEP report...or your job...or eating regularly...

Since she is even asking these questions about the Workplace Lothario, he is clearly NOT that kind of person to her.

QED


----------



## ChristianGrey (Nov 27, 2014)

JCD said:


> Since she is even asking these questions about the Workplace Lothario, he is clearly NOT that kind of person to her.
> 
> QED


Nothing a few _team building_ sessions cannot take care of.

I remember this woman who was telling everyone that she is so irritated by one of the co-workers giving her too much attention that she ended up marrying him.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

ChristianGrey said:


> But then.. what if he/she is _the_ one, who fell from the heaven and landed right on the desk next to mine.


I'm still waiting for Keanu Reeves to land on my desk.


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> I'm still waiting for Keanu Reeves to land on my desk.


Me too...but I am probably thinking from a higher altitude than you are...


----------



## Waits4Mr.Right (Oct 29, 2011)

Thanks for the laugh guys/gals. Ppl @ work are already talking and we haven't even done anything besides Talk. Unfortunately I have alot of busy bodies watching everything I do, and him as well. We don't do alot of interaction at work for this reason. We make plans outside of work....and really if they do find out, and they might, who cares? We aren't doing anything wrong or against policy.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

a) break things off completely with your ex....for good. You will never EVER find a man that you WANT with Ex or any guy "friend" around. Ask yourself, would you date a guy that is friends with his ex or hangs out with women on regular basis?

b) stop dating or talking to guys and take your time to HEAL. You are clearly not over your ex and need time to clear your head. Remember, ANY CONTACT with ex = reset of your healing. Another reason to stay away from Ex.....

Good luck


----------



## ChristianGrey (Nov 27, 2014)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> We aren't doing anything wrong or against policy.


As long as the sticky notes don't get extra sticky.


----------



## lucy999 (Sep 28, 2014)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> No I believe I am ready to date. I miss the old boyfriend But Not as in going back to him. He dumped me and that's that. His loss! I will remain his friend but hopefully he moves on as I am doing myself. He's the past, I get it.
> As for Mr. Coffee guy, I was thinking the same. I not about to think this guy is it, and I haven't even met him face to face yet. Duh!
> As for Aldean, I know he likes me but I think for both of us it's animal attraction. ...Lol I think I just turned red right about now. Lol


Go on with your bad self-date, date, date! I did the online dating thing and it was so much fun! Sure, there were weirdos, but boy did I learn alot re: what I _didn't_ want in my next relationship.

And what's that saying? Don't sh*t where you eat? Don't mess around with the co-worker. 

That said, there's another saying: sometimes, to get over, you gotta get under. KWIM? But do your 'gettin over' away from work.

Go have fun! The world awaits! Leave your ex just as he is: your ex.


----------



## Waits4Mr.Right (Oct 29, 2011)

@DoF: I completely agree w/ u. That's why I was hoping for a long distance friendship. If we bump into each other, we say "hi" and move on.
He on the other hand broke up with me but keeps checking out my dating website pg and texting me....like almost everyday.
I don't understand it myself. It just keeps reopening the wound.
That being said, that's why I want to be busy doing fun things and keeping my mind and hands busy. If it involves someone, all the more laughs. I refuse to sit at home and cry. I'm moving forward.


----------



## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> @DoF: I completely agree w/ u. That's why I was hoping for a long distance friendship. If we bump into each other, we say "hi" and move on.
> He on the other hand broke up with me but keeps checking out my dating website pg and texting me....like almost everyday.
> I don't understand it myself. *It just keeps reopening the wound*.


That is the point. He is much happier with you pining. Getting over him quickly makes his ego sad.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> @DoF: I completely agree w/ u. That's why I was hoping for a long distance friendship. If we bump into each other, we say "hi" and move on.
> He on the other hand broke up with me but keeps checking out my dating website pg and texting me....like almost everyday.
> I don't understand it myself. It just keeps reopening the wound.
> That being said, that's why I want to be busy doing fun things and keeping my mind and hands busy. If it involves someone, all the more laughs. I refuse to sit at home and cry. I'm moving forward.


If you agree with me than you should cut him off/ignore/block him completely.

Also, no one is talking about sitting home and crying.....just take time to heal and get over your previous relationship. Long Term relationship will take good 6 months to a YEAR to heal.

The goal here is to prepare yourself and BE READY and prevent REBOUND type of situation (which is exactly where you are headed currently).

You are no where near over your ex right now. Meanwhile, while you are healing...stay away from Opposite sex.

Also, DO NOT date at work.....that's not smart and chances of it turning ugly and effecting your job are HIGH.

Heck DO NOT DATE AT ALL until you are healed and ready.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> Thanks for the laugh guys/gals. Ppl @ work are already talking and we haven't even done anything besides Talk. Unfortunately I have alot of busy bodies watching everything I do, and him as well.


People everywhere will always assume things. Work is for professionalism. That's why I personally don't do the hokey pokey with my colleagues. No way, Jose! That's my livelihood.



ChristianGrey said:


> As long as the sticky notes don't get extra sticky.


:rofl:



Waits4Mr.Right said:


> He on the other hand broke up with me but keeps checking out my dating website pg and texting me....like almost everyday.
> I don't understand it myself. It just keeps reopening the wound.


Please do yourself a favor and block him on the dating site and any other site. Today.

Out of sight, out of mind. 

And date a lot. You are single now and dating is fun.


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Jellybeans said:


> I'm still waiting for Keanu Reeves to land on my desk.



That's only because he is part Hawaiian,


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Too much good advice already and some good laughs...

I would only add to be up front with all your men if you are multi dating. Also, if you do want to get a little physical you just upped the stakes. Make really sure to communicate with your dates if you are seeing more than one man and it is physical with any of them.

Not saying that is what you are aiming for but that issue has bitten more than a few. Also be aware that some men will not multi date at all and if you are physical with one man, there will be many men who will not look at you twice because of "territory". Nothing really wrong with either view. I and many other men won't mess with another man's woman. 

Be safe and have fun!


----------



## Waits4Mr.Right (Oct 29, 2011)

@ ConanHub : Very good advice. I'll probably keep my mind open as far as men go. I won't settle too quickly but as for getting physical, that's where I draw the line. If it gets that serious with a guy, that's who I'm with. No one else. That way too if I catch anything, I know exactly who it is I'm fixin to Kill! Lol....but I'm serious


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> @ ConanHub : Very good advice. I'll probably keep my mind open as far as men go. I won't settle too quickly but as for getting physical, that's where I draw the line. If it gets that serious with a guy, that's who I'm with. No one else. That way too if I catch anything, I know exactly who it is I'm fixin to Kill! Lol....but I'm serious


Good thinking!:smthumbup:

I agree with the others to cut the ex loose. Friendly is fine but his behavior does not warrant a real future friendship.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ikaika said:


> That's only because he is part Hawaiian,


:rofl: And Lebanese, Canadian, Chinese, English and a hodge podge of over exotic stuff. 

That's my boyfriend right there.

I am also a fan of the Hawaiian Jason Momoa. :fans self:


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> I'm still waiting for Keanu Reeves to land on my desk.


I thought he swung the other way? Not that there's anything wrong with that.


----------



## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

No, he doesn't ping my gaydar at all. And he would be very straight with me.


----------



## Flying_Dutchman (Oct 29, 2014)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> He now wants to go fishing together.


His fishing began with that suggestion.

Fishing to see if you're still attracted to his pole.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Eh... I wouldn't go fishing in the company pool unless I felt like it could lead to real relationship.


----------



## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> :rofl: And Lebanese, Canadian, Chinese, English and a hodge podge of over exotic stuff.
> 
> That's my boyfriend right there.
> 
> I am also a fan of the Hawaiian Jason Momoa. :fans self:


If Khal Drogo were to show up at my front door while I happened to be at work (or wherever), Mrs. Gus and I would likely be divorced the next day.


----------



## sparkyjim (Sep 22, 2012)

Waits4Mr.Right said:


> @DoF: I completely agree w/ u. That's why I was hoping for a long distance friendship. If we bump into each other, we say "hi" and move on.
> He on the other hand broke up with me but keeps checking out my dating website pg and texting me....like almost everyday.
> I don't understand it myself. It just keeps reopening the wound.
> That being said, that's why I want to be busy doing fun things and keeping my mind and hands busy. If it involves someone, all the more laughs. I refuse to sit at home and cry. I'm moving forward.


I think you are doing pretty good - except for one thing.

What is up with the remaining "friends"???

He is the one that dumped you - you should tell him to take a long walk off a short pier. And you should just completely stop responding to his texts. He will get the idea eventually.

But really, back to the friends thing. You don't have to be friends with everyone who crosses your path, and if a guy decides he doesn't want you as his girlfriend that means that he doesn't deserve you. And you said as much, but when you respond to him you are allowing him to open that old wound and you don't need that. You are giving him power over your feelings.

You don't have to explain anything to him. Just stop responding at all. He will text you over and over. Just delete them and don't even read them. He needs to become a non factor in your life. He was just a side road that you got a little lost on. No need to go down that road again.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Re: Hallelujah!


----------

