# Short term marriage lot adding up any advice is great



## Tim k (Mar 2, 2014)

This is long ill try to be brief. Our relationship started as sex only she was married at time I was in ling distance relationship it was on and off again fwb for first 4 mo she then separated and I let go on my relationship we got more serious and exclusive about 4 mo into it. Approx 2 mo after that we discovered she was pregnant and decided we should get a house and move in together she has a 6 yo from her marriage as well. So it starts there was some trust issues and lies she gave me at the start I moved past. We had our son and finally after me having to continue to push she got her divorce final later that year we decided to get married. We did do pre marriage counseling and seemed as though we were in same page. After we got married she has been a constant of saying I need to go and be with someone else constantly asking me who I'm seeing who I'm thinking about on and on. Any time I tried to communicate and talk to her it is an argument or she brings it back as a negative so I got to a point I just agree and move on and no further talk. We haven't been able to talk about anything. The last 6 months it turned into her telling me i need to divorce her and go be with someone else also her telling me tht I'm never happy. So I finally hit the point where I feel I've been abused enough and it's got to give I decided to go to a counselor before this I brought this up and her response was to be angry with me and tell me to leave. Then one night she was going off I just went to bed she came in and hauled off and hit me I told her to leave and she would not. So I went to individual counseling with not really any solution and then got setup with a neutral couple counseling session that counselor wanted to talk to us separate he spoke with her first then me he said she has severe depression and wants to work with her to get her on track then bring me back. Now after going through this I'm realizing that I care for her and not in love with her. Also we still have sex not often maybe once a week she has orgasms and I never do so I have to take care of things later by myself this has been going on for a number of months now. 
Sorry this is long history here my concerns are everything is awkward I don't care to be with her and don't want to talk as I'm over all of it. I'm scared as I make the money and pay all the bills she only works part time. Any advice or directions would be helpful.


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## UsernameHere (Sep 26, 2013)

Looks like you've been hit by the Karma bus for your initial infidelity, the cheating spouse has also lied to you as well. Somehow I think now that she has been tossed aside by her Ex and you clearly aren't the wonderful provider she expected you are getting the brunt of her displeasure. I suggest you move on she has clearly lied to her Ex and no doubt will cheat on you at some point as well. Good luck


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

If you go hunting for an unfaithful, disloyal woman, you shouldn't be all that surprised when you bag one. I don't mean to be ugly, but go back to the beginning of your story. You were having sex with another man's wife and she apparently spent a lot of time chatting you up behind his back. Did you believe you were getting a quality life-partner? 
She plays around with you for four months before "separating"? You "discover" she's pregnant, presumably with your child. Still, you have to beg, cajole, and plead for her to divorce her husband? Her idea of solving problems with you is to tell you to leave and assault you? 
She sounds like a complete nut job. Leaving would have been an intelligent course of action right up until the moment you got her pregnant. You and she have a child. It's not that child's fault that you like to have sex with married nut cases. It's not the six year old's fault, either. Kids need stability and mom doesn't seem very stable. If it were me (and Thank God, it's not), I'd lay down some very clear boundaries. Folks who hit go to jail. No more talk about divorce. People with depression get a shrink and treatment. My priority would be to see that both kids (mine especially) received decent raising. Get your focus off your feelings for her, what's "fair" and focus on doing what's best for your child.


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## bigbearsfan (Feb 11, 2014)

Apparently your not the knight in shinning armor she thought you were and the grass is definitely not greener on the other side. :scratchhead:
What's that other saying : once a cheat, always a cheat.
This marriage is going to end badly and you just need to move on. 
Next time find a woman who is not married or in a relationship.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I'm surprised you have been sleeping next to this woman.
If someone hits you when you're awake, who knows what they will do when you're sleeping, particularly if they are not really stable to begin with. The only feeling you should be concerned about right now is fear. At the very least sleep in another room and lock the door and have an escape plan. Then again, I would not even eat food or drink water this woman has access to, if I were you.
You took a risk, and it was a bad one.
Batten down the hatches, reduce your immediate risks, and follow up with the paperwork. The hitting sounds like she is violent. Also she is clearly unstable. Trust your body, if you're not able to orgasm when you have sex with her, that's your body telling you something, particularly if you were able to before.


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## Tim k (Mar 2, 2014)

Thanks for all the input. the counselor asked me to stay in it at least till he can help her with the depression I dont know if I can do that. My main concern is my boy and making sure he has a good life she doesnt have anything other than what I have and im sure not giving her a dime for herself and not going to let her live in house that I pay for I know she will trash it and my finances are going to get hosed up. This has gone on for 2 years to many and I dont want to give her any more levearage just worried about my son and finances.


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## Sandfly (Dec 8, 2013)

You had a baby with someone you _knew _was untrustworthy?

Sounds like you were desperate/can't control your sex-drive.


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## Chuck71 (Nov 5, 2012)

to some degree, I can understand the sex part

married woman though?? if she cheated on H#1

what makes you any different as H#2?

pop always said, "when she drops her panties for you

as another man's wife, she will for another as your wife.

you are not special"

yes you had a child but, did you feel the need to marry her?

be teammates in raising the child

salvage what you can, trying to work through this

with the background is like trying to chit upstream


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