# Husband walked out 3 days ago



## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

My husband walked out and left me 3 days ago. I had been really sick with pneumonia and i asked him if things were ok at work and he stated that we needed to spend some time apart and he needed to figure some things out. we only had once car and he took that and it wasn't until after he left i found out he left .02 in the bank. all i can do is cry and cry he was the love of my life and of course he will not return my calls when i try to call him on his cellphone


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

occ2195 said:


> My husband walked out and left me 3 days ago. I had been really sick with pneumonia and i asked him if things were ok at work and he stated that we needed to spend some time apart and he needed to figure some things out. we only had once car and he took that and it wasn't until after he left i found out he left .02 in the bank. all i can do is cry and cry he was the love of my life and of course he will not return my calls when i try to call him on his cellphone


I am deeply sorry for you. My wife walked out on Friday. Do you have someone/family that can help you at this time?


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Your husband is very selfish. Right now you need to take care of yourself. This is me is right, lean on friends and family right now. You need them. What about counselling? That can be very helpful to get you looking at the situation from a rational point of view.

One thing I do know, it will get easier. I went from a very loving and committed relationship, a husband telling me how much he loves me one day to "I don't love you anymore" the very next day. He started going out, dating strippers, screwing around. But when I stopped worrying about him and focussed on myself I learned how to be happy. It takes work but you will get there!!


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

i heard from him today and asked point blank if he loved me and he said he had love for me. i have friends and family around me right now and i am trying to treat it like he is not coming back because i can not live on hope. i have not eaten since he left and i just am not sure how i will get through this. i have had several illnesses this past year and was not able to work and he just left me with nothing. i just want to stay in bed and cry until i am cried out. everything i asked him on the phone his only answer was i don't know


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Can you at least try liquid meal replacement? You need to keep your strength up physically or you will end up with other problems. What about ice cream? I'm worried that you are not eating. You've got to get some nourishment.

I am a big proponent of crying. You will get to the point when you have no more tears. I also believe in rituals, something like writing his name a bunch of times on a piece of paper and burning it or tearing it to pieces. Anything that will help you start moving forward in your new life. 

I'm glad you are posting here. It helps to talk with people who have been through this. 

Talk to a lawyer to make sure you are taken care of. You were part of a partnership, you deserve half of whatever you built together.

Do you have a journal? Writing can help get your feelings out and sorted. And looking back at what you have written can be encouraging to see how much you have improved. Don't worry about grammar or spelling or form, just write from the heart.

And I can't emphasize enough - IT WILL GET BETTER! Just read some of the ongoing posts. You will see how a person starts in a tough place but gradually gets to a peaceful, happy place. You will get there too, one step at a time.


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

KITH is absooutely 100% correct. It will get better, but you have to be in a position to fight for you. Stay up so that you know what is going on and be prepared to fight for what is yours. He does not get to make all the decisions and don't let him think he holds all the power. I will be praying for you, but you have to get your head wrapped around the thought...would you want to still be with someon who would do this to you, even though you still love him? You are worth more than he left and a good lawyer will prove it to him. Best to you in everything. And like it has been said around these parts....You are not alone!


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

the only thing i have been doing is drinking lots of water i jump everytime the phone rings and i just feel such a hopeless loss. i started writing my feelings in a notebook but i seem to just cry all the harder when i do i had actually just started going to therapy before to work on some anxiety problems and i of course had no idea that this would happen i wish this was just a bad dream i could wake up from


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

But it is not a dream nor a nightmare ;o( It is real life and you will need all your strength to get through. We all who have been through this are speaking from experience of being exactly were you are and we made it to the other side. This however does not mean we have it together and no longer hurt, cry, get embarassed, disappointed, missing the man or woman we loved. We just have the luxury to have time passed and we are in a different spot.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

This morning started out being so miserable for me, in the afternoon my husband came over to get more of his things. The finality of him taking the rest of his things just seemed like this cloudy occurance that I can not escape. For myself I have to go on he is never coming back as I can not live on hope. I am holding on to that tightly now to help me survive this day.


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

occ2195

I am sorry to hear of your troubles.

You are getting some good advice.

Whatever happens, you need to be strong. You must take care of yourself first and foremost.

I don't want to get your hopes up but if you have any chance of getting your OH back, you must show strength. If he doesn't come back, then you will have gained the strength you need to survive.

Take Care, I know it hurts.


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## hurtintexas (Nov 7, 2011)

My husband left on Friday. Like you, I am feeling a wide range of emotions right now . . . sadness, bitterness, resentment, anger, hopelessness, feeling powerless, etc. But I also feel a small amount of hope, which gives me just enough strength to hang on. Know that you are not alone. Take care!

"Hope has conspired with the wind and blown away the demons of despair." Maya Angelou


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I had no hope. He swore he'd never return and had "a little love" for me.

Time moved forward. I worked on myself. I let him do what he needed to do (he moved out for 3 months).

We're now together again and it's wonderful. Lots of growth in those 3 months-- personal and as a couple.

There's always hope, even when you don't thnk there is.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

I just feel like their is no hope at all. I had a really bad day today and I just felt so tore up all day and crying. I still cannot manage to eat anything. I can not seem to function with even mundane chores. My husband is calling me everyday now, but I think that just makes it worse for me, he still says he has to figure things out and doesn't know if if wants to get back together with me. I have asked and asked about counseling but he won't do that either. He just tells me he needs time to figure things out, I just don't know what to do now or what to think.


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

occ2195 said:


> I just feel like their is no hope at all. I had a really bad day today and I just felt so tore up all day and crying. I still cannot manage to eat anything. I can not seem to function with even mundane chores. My husband is calling me everyday now, but I think that just makes it worse for me, he still says he has to figure things out and doesn't know if if wants to get back together with me. I have asked and asked about counseling but he won't do that either. He just tells me he needs time to figure things out, I just don't know what to do now or what to think.


Hang in there sweetheart. I know it's tough but if you want this to work out, you must start to focus on yourself.

Why is he calling you? What is he saying?


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

Please eat something. You're putting so much stress on an already weakened system... you need to eat.

Stop calling him; stop taking his calls. Worry about yourself.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

I asked him if he was calling because he wanted to or because he thought that was what i expected him to do. Today he told me he was sorry he walked out the way he did and sorry things had to be this way. Sorry doesn't mean anything to me right now, he still says the same His answer to everything i ask is he doesn't know how he feels


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

occ2195 said:


> I asked him if he was calling because he wanted to or because he thought that was what i expected him to do. Today he told me he was sorry he walked out the way he did and sorry things had to be this way. Sorry doesn't mean anything to me right now, he still says the same His answer to everything i ask is he doesn't know how he feels


He's not calling because he thinks it's what you expect of him. He is calling because he wants to. He may be evaluating the situation. 

I know it's not easy but the sooner you become strong, the better. At this point he is in control.
There is only one person, who can truly control you and that is YOU. Let him know this by not taking the call.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

I started the 180 you should also. It helps mostly you and sends a message. My walk away agreed to go to MC next week with me. It is a start.

By some Boost or Ensure. I did right away to keeep my weight up. You need the strength of mind and body. Hang in there. 

You are not alone!


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

Well I am on day # 2 for not talking to him, texting or calling him. I feel such a deep sadness and dread of not knowing what will happen. People give me so much advice but they are all still with thier husbands. i truly love him and I cannot get past him leaving me the way he did. i have my first therapy appt on monday but it feels like a long time until monday. I feel like their is no hope, and I have nohting to hold onto. The last 2 days i have felt overwhelming sadness as that I was on the verge of crying all the time and i can not seem to focus or get my mind on anything else. I try to watch tv but that doesn't work, I am still barely eating and I honestly do not know how I will make it through this.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

Today I think i spent most of the day in bed in this despair and sadness. I do not know how to go forward this is day 3 with no communication from him. I am eating very little still I just have no appetite at all right now. I just feel so hopeless right now


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## OutOfTheBlue (Nov 4, 2011)

occ2195 said:


> Today I think i spent most of the day in bed in this despair and sadness. I do not know how to go forward this is day 3 with no communication from him. I am eating very little still I just have no appetite at all right now. I just feel so hopeless right now


Do you have anyone to talk to? Family? Friends? Anyone?

You need to share your grief. The answers to your dillema are within *You*


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

I have family and friends however, I have not yet found it easier to speak with them about this. Tomorrow I am going back to curves and i have a therapy appt. I spoke to my husband breifly today as I saw him in walmart. He was cold to me and I kept telling myself I will be ok. I am trying really hard but I feel so weak at times.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

I have been through alot of changes since my husband left me just this past friday he came to get more of his things and told me he still had hope we would get back together then he turns a 180 and decides he no longer should have to pay any bills at all. I do not seek contact with him at all. Over the last 2 days I have come to realize I do not want to see or talk to him because he has broke my heart and betrayed me and I don't think I will ever trust him again. I do not wish this pain on anyone at all. But I do not see any kind of reconciliation in my future with him. I continue going to my theapist and trying to make good changes for me. That is all I can do at this point. I can still barely eat since he left I have lost 26 lbs I may have some juice or something of that nature but I have no appetite at all right now. With the holidays coming I think it will be even worse for me to manage to get through.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

occ2195 said:


> I have been through alot of changes since my husband left me just this past friday he came to get more of his things and told me he still had hope we would get back together then he turns a 180 and decides he no longer should have to pay any bills at all. I do not seek contact with him at all. Over the last 2 days I have come to realize I do not want to see or talk to him because he has broke my heart and betrayed me and I don't think I will ever trust him again. I do not wish this pain on anyone at all. But I do not see any kind of reconciliation in my future with him. I continue going to my theapist and trying to make good changes for me. That is all I can do at this point. I can still barely eat since he left I have lost 26 lbs I may have some juice or something of that nature but I have no appetite at all right now. With the holidays coming I think it will be even worse for me to manage to get through.


I am going through the same thing right now. My emotions are up and down minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day. One minute I feel strong and empowered, the next weak and sad, the next angry and wanting to end it all, then clinging to that string of hope.

Reading "That Girls" comment in this thread of her experience is inspiring. It took 3 months and they are better than ever. She has been here for me since day one of the walk away (thank you TG!). 

In the end we need to do what we do, but I have come to the conclusion at this moment to defaualt to silence and the 180. I am going to try to the best of my ability to keep my emotions in check and be as strong as I can. I will try my hardest to make changes in me for her and for me. In the end if I fail I know I have tried and hopefully be a better man for her or someone else in the future.

I am saying all this at this moment knowing I may fail and have the roller coaster take me down again, but at this moment I am determined to not let our 17 years be a waste.

Go buy some boost or ensure for your physical health and get an IC for your mental health. Be good to yourself!

I am praying for you and all the others here suffering through these tough times.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

Mine sends me mixed messages, sometimes he would be so hateful on the phone then when he would come over to get his things try to be nice. I have decided that I can not talk to him right now for my own sake. I can not change his mind or make him love me again. I spent days in bed crying and longing for an answer. That first week was horrid. I try to be stong but some days that wears thin and I just want to revert back to my bed for more crying but then I just try to stay busy. I am going back to work on Black Friday as I have no choice and finiancial support from him at all. I wish it could be easier but I have not found anything that truly makes me feel better yet. I managed to eat a sandwich yesterday and I hate the thought of spending the holidays alone.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

occ2195 said:


> Mine sends me mixed messages, sometimes he would be so hateful on the phone then when he would come over to get his things try to be nice. I have decided that I can not talk to him right now for my own sake. I can not change his mind or make him love me again. I spent days in bed crying and longing for an answer. That first week was horrid. I try to be stong but some days that wears thin and I just want to revert back to my bed for more crying but then I just try to stay busy. I am going back to work on Black Friday as I have no choice and finiancial support from him at all. I wish it could be easier but I have not found anything that truly makes me feel better yet. I managed to eat a sandwich yesterday and I hate the thought of spending the holidays alone.


Reach out to friends, family, support groups. This has been helpful to me. Hang in there life will get better. We need to keep telling ourselves we will make it with or without them!


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## lostncgirl (Nov 21, 2011)

I am going thru the same thing. Some days I just don't want to get out of bed. I can't eat. I am trying to keep smiling and not keep talking about it. I was doing better when he started texting this last weekend. When he did, I gave into him and was talking and he was giving hints and hope. Then when he asked me what he should be doing and I responded. I didn't know at this point if there was anything. He responds so your giving up? then I say I haven't seen any reason not to. He then starts this whole he was trying to be my friend and he can never see us working. When I ask him why he was texting me and making hints he just denied it. It just ripped my heart out all over again. I feel like I am back to Square one.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

lostncgirl said:


> I am going thru the same thing. Some days I just don't want to get out of bed. I can't eat. I am trying to keep smiling and not keep talking about it. I was doing better when he started texting this last weekend. When he did, I gave into him and was talking and he was giving hints and hope. Then when he asked me what he should be doing and I responded. I didn't know at this point if there was anything. He responds so your giving up? then I say I haven't seen any reason not to. He then starts this whole he was trying to be my friend and he can never see us working. When I ask him why he was texting me and making hints he just denied it. It just ripped my heart out all over again. I feel like I am back to Square one.


I can relate. Day one she was taking about seperating evrything, day two she was telling me she is not sure and asked me if I was going to counseling (round about asking if she could join me), then telling me she just doesn't see it working, later asking me if we could move to our old town, she won't contact me for days and refuses going to church or movies, then ask me if I want to do breakfast, then silence, then days later holding my hand and touching my hair.......Just driving me insane.

Yesterday I started out good, then felt sad, then angry and wanting to just move on, then words of hope to keep me silent and 180 mode.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with, but I have to keep reminding myself that this too shall pass.

Be strong, find happiness where you can and look for peace within.


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## LostinBrokenArrow (Nov 19, 2011)

I understand exactly what you are going through, and I'm sorry it's happening. It's the roller coaster ride of emotions that is probably the hardest. One second you think your okay, the next your like "is this real". I'm going through the same thing. The only thing I can say is that you don't want to get caught up in the negativity. So far, I have just been agreeing with what ever comment she happens to come up, and it's all via text. I'm not taking her calls. Everyone on here says it will get better, and I'm pretty darn sure they are correct, but your right sometimes it just doesn't feel that way. I'm finding that this is a good way to vent. It's suprising to me that there are so many people that will give you encouragement. Keep writing and don't bottle the feelings up.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

I was forced to call mine today over a banking issue since we still have a joint account which he overdrafted. The bank told me I could close the account after paying "his" fees of course I just got his cell voicemail. I doubt he will call me back over the issue but I will not be responsible for him. He didn't care about me at all when he walked out and left me nothing.


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## LostinBrokenArrow (Nov 19, 2011)

Get a new bank account at a different bank. Don't worry about the overdraft charges. Those will all work out in time. Right now, other than money to survive on, material things don't really matter, in my opinion.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

I try to be strong, and try really hard to move forward and these last 2 days I have just felt like I did when he left again and i just want to cry and cry. Sometimes I think how will I go on without him, how will I ever trust any other man again after he so coldly and creuly left me with nothing. I wish i could be mad, I wish I could hate him right now. I keep trying to tell myself that I will be ok. I have such a empty sick feeling. My husband still will not tell me what the hell is going on when I ask if we are getting a divorce he just says I don't know. Which is his answer to everything I ask. He texted me today and like a dummy i responded which sent me to crying all over again. I wish this pain would go away just for a little while.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

occ2195 said:


> I try to be strong, and try really hard to move forward and these last 2 days I have just felt like I did when he left again and i just want to cry and cry. Sometimes I think how will I go on without him, how will I ever trust any other man again after he so coldly and creuly left me with nothing. I wish i could be mad, I wish I could hate him right now. I keep trying to tell myself that I will be ok. I have such a empty sick feeling. My husband still will not tell me what the hell is going on when I ask if we are getting a divorce he just says I don't know. Which is his answer to everything I ask. He texted me today and like a dummy i responded which sent me to crying all over again. I wish this pain would go away just for a little while.


You have to stop reacting to him. It empowers him and hurts you. I understand how tough the holidays can make things, but we need to find the strength to empower ourselves. This is good for us and also makes us look more attractive, which is is very important.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

I know thoughougt this whole thing he has maintained the power. He still will not say what we are doing. I am at the point now if he wants a divorce I wish he would just say so and get it over with. Some very strange things have been happening here too. I found a dead cat in the back of my truck, which I called authorites about, then yesterday when I got up it appears someone let the air out of all my tires. I did leave a short message on his voicemail that all my tires where flat. He calls me back later screaming and yelling at me for it. I just plain give up on this. I am implementing the 180 and I am just not going to talk to him at all. As who knows when he will decide what he is doing. I keep going to my therapist but I am not sure that is helping much as I end up crying at every session. I finally had my first meal since he left yesterday. But this sick feeling in my stomach has not went away. A very close friend that works the same place he does told me he is living with another woman right now.......I so didn't want to hear that at all.


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## This is me (May 4, 2011)

occ2195 said:


> I know thoughougt this whole thing he has maintained the power. He still will not say what we are doing. I am at the point now if he wants a divorce I wish he would just say so and get it over with. Some very strange things have been happening here too. I found a dead cat in the back of my truck, which I called authorites about, then yesterday when I got up it appears someone let the air out of all my tires. I did leave a short message on his voicemail that all my tires where flat. He calls me back later screaming and yelling at me for it. I just plain give up on this. I am implementing the 180 and I am just not going to talk to him at all. As who knows when he will decide what he is doing. I keep going to my therapist but I am not sure that is helping much as I end up crying at every session. I finally had my first meal since he left yesterday. But this sick feeling in my stomach has not went away. A very close friend that works the same place he does told me he is living with another woman right now.......I so didn't want to hear that at all.


I should be the last one here to say this as I have failed over and over, but do the 180 and move on with your life. I am struggling like you, but we need to look out for ourselves. 

Take care. You should be number 1 to you, not him.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

Its been over a month since he left, i recently found out he moved in with a 23 year old and he is 52. He called friday wanting to come over to pick up the rest of his things. I told him it would have to be a time that was convienent for me as I had a busy work schedule. To which he threw a fit about, as he does not like to be said no to at all for anything. I am trying so hard to be strong but of the very few times i have talked with him, its like a blow to me and i feel that hurt all over again. I just don't know what to do, if I should just file for divorce and get it over with or what I can do at this point. I know I could never trust him again knowing he is having an affair which i am certain he was before he left now. I have spoken once with an attorney. As he is not paying any of the bills that are in his name only. Now it makes me physically sick to have any contact with him at all. I was doing ok for a couple weeks and now i feel right back where i started just wanting to pull the covers over my head and just let the world pass me by.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Time to file for divorce.

What a scum.

So sorry  But don't worry. She'll get tired of his old ass soon enough and then he'll be wanting to come back. Screw that crap.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

File for divorce.


--- 

on a more positive note: See what you can do through your attorney about the bills and getting spousal support asap. Once his money dries up, so will the little 23 yr old.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Hey guys I'm 54. I'm shaking my cane at you TG.

occ2195: I was betrayed as well, I did offer MC but he wasn't interested simply because he was in the fog. Then the EA went PA. I started divorce proceedings after the MC question and it tore me up. Look at the number of my comments. The pain at times was so great I wanted to rip my skin off. He would text, email and talk to OW in front of me, gaslight me and generally keep me off balance. I was stuck in this house until it sold-5 months.

I divorced his tormenting butt in July, sold the prison house in August, got an apartment and am starting school for a new career.

Was this easy, heck no. The only things that held me together were dignity, God and my group.

Guess what, I now wake to : "I wonder what is going to happen today." Excitement. You will get through this, you will.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

At times I feel like I am making progress, and then I see him and her out and about and its like such a blow to me. He sent me an email last week that we needed to talk. I have not been having any contact with him. I am filing for divorce and the last time I spoke to him he threw a fit when I mentioned it saying he hadn't made up his mind yet...but I had made it up for him. I told him I didn't realize everything was his decision to make anymore. Which he started yelling and screaming at me. Today is especially sad for me the closer christmas comes the sadder I get. I am back to the crying phase and I wish I weren't i know my friends mean well but they will call me and report to me they say them together here and there. That just makes me feel worse. I wish this would get easier but it hasn't yet. Everyone seems to be wanting to fix me up with someone........but i am so not ready for that. I am still going to my therapist and I am not sure how much that is helping as i seem to cry through the sessions all the time.


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## JazzTango2Step (Apr 4, 2011)

Stop picking up the phone. Force yourself. Men are attracted to strength, and you need to show him that despite where he is or what he's doing, you will survive and carry on. SURVIVE, alright? Force it out or yourself. You need some time to mourne your loss, but don't let it engulf your life. 

What he's doing is keeping you on a string. He "left" but he is still calling you everyday to hear your voice. Don't let him treat you like that. Turn the phone off or just don't answer it. PICK YOURSELF UP. GET UP. Don't let him see that you've stayed on the ground after he's pushed you down. If you want him to miss you, give him something to miss. Don't be there to take that call, don't be in the house when he drops by. If he wants to see what life without you will be, show it to him in flying colors.

Get up and EAT. NOW. You are mentally and physically declining in health and YOU are the one allowing it.


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## JazzTango2Step (Apr 4, 2011)

He's pissed off because you took a stand and showed him you weren't going to wait around on whether he will chose you or this other woman. You've shown him "You want that girl? You can have her" and shut the door in his face. You should never have to share your husband and thats what he's asking you to do. Good for you for filing. Follow through with it. Show him you're not a force to be messed with.


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## cyan (Dec 4, 2011)

Good for you for filing!!! Who the hell does this entitled jacka$$ think he is? He hasn't made up his mind yet??? Actions speak louder than words, so yes... he has.

You will get through this, and you'll emerge a stronger, happier woman for all you've been though. Believe it. You will.



occ2195 said:


> He sent me an email last week that we needed to talk. I have not been having any contact with him. I am filing for divorce and the last time I spoke to him he threw a fit when I mentioned it saying he hadn't made up his mind yet...but I had made it up for him. I told him I didn't realize everything was his decision to make anymore. Which he started yelling and screaming at me.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

occ2195,

Why not tell your friends that you do not want to hear anymore about him or her. That you hurt when they tell you. Those who care will stop. They are probably not aware that they are being hurtful. Even the most care people can be very obtuse sometimes, while not meaning to be.

You are right, he does not make all of the decisions. It's your life as well. This is your decision. If there is anything that will shake him out of the fog he's in, your filing will be it.

The other thing is that there is something called temporary spousal support. Ask your attorney. He will have to pay you support until the divorce is final if your income is less than his. It's generally half to about 1/3 of his income. This will give you time to get your life together financially. 

You can also ask that the court have him pay any joint debt in addition to your spousal support. That should put a crimp on his cheating style.


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

Seems like the same friends keep giving me updates on what he is doing with whom.....even though I have asked them not to do that. Then I just feel so betrayed and cry all over again. I have not made any contact with him at all. Since he last sent me that email wanting to talk. I did not respond. I can't imagine what he could possibly have to say to me at this point. I go through times that I blame myself for everything and others that I fight for strength to go forward. I just don't understand why he had to be such a coward about it and not just be upfront with me instead of his constant...BS about he didn't know or he was lost and didn't know what he wanted when he first left. Even though I know i am doing the right thing with filing for divorce, I hope it wakes him up to an extent if only to realize what he did. Because I am asking for alimony and 50% of the marital bills he stuck me with. I don't know how I will ever trust anyone again. I have lost about 46lbs since he left. I just have no motivation other than working right now.


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## Jealee Khalim (Dec 18, 2011)

Hye occ2195,

I hope this post can help you out with your problem.

There’s a simple answer to that. Here I made 5 critical points what you should do and you should not do. =)

1.

Remember, apologizing will not make you any inferior. If you really want your husband back, tell him that you are sorry. 

Tell him that you would not have argued if it could lead to a divorce. Don’t say sorry for a thousand times. Let it be for one time. But it should be effective enough. 

When you once tell yourself, “I want to get my husband back!” be sure that you are consistent. Make sure he gets the point and realizes that you really are apologetic.

2. 

Admit. Admit that you love your husband. Make him food that he loves the most. Do things that show him how much you love him. 

Wear a dress that he gifted you. Give yourself a look that he has always liked whether it is open hair or a pony tail. That will start making room of you in his heart again.

He should know that after divorce, he is going miss a person from his life who loves him the most. It will lead to a feeling that he is making a mistake.

3.

Appreciate him for everything he has done for you. Tell him that by being his wife, you feel proud of yourself. 

This is because he has done so much for you. He has protected you in need. 

This will show him how much you need him. If you recall all the love that he has given you, you will really admit to yourself, “I really want to get my husband back!”


4.

Win trust back. Ask yourself that “If I want to get my husband back” nothing is more important than trust.If there were any issues relating to trust, now is the time you show them that you are trust worthy. 

You can show them that you can take any responsibility and fulfill it without creating any problem.

5.

Give him time! Give him time to decide. Don’t push things too much in a hurry. If he loves you, he will come back to you. If he doesn’t, he will not. 

It’s better if he comes back only if he loves you. If he is not in love, he is probably arguing with you only because he wants a divorce. 

This point somewhere in future will come for sure. However, if he loves you, I am definitely sure that he will forgive you and apologize. 

It can be only done by a determination. Promise yourself, “I will do anything to get my husband back!” and it will not be a very difficult task to do.

I hope this helps! =)


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Jealee Khalim said:


> Hye occ2195,
> 
> I hope this post can help you out with your problem.
> 
> ...


What exactly should she apologize for? For not being a 23 year old floozy? He's cheating on her, and her best best at reconciling is the same as her best bet for moving on. Cut him out of her life and let him go.

No offense, but your post is full of all sorts of stuff that she should NOT do.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jealee Khalim (Dec 18, 2011)

Maybe you're right,

But what I am trying to say is that if she still loves him this is how to do it the right way.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Jealee Khalim said:


> Maybe you're right,
> 
> But what I am trying to say is that if she still loves him this is how to do it the right way.


No, it's not the right way, unless she wants an open marriage where her husband can fool around on the side while she stays home to take care of the domestic duties. It will teach him that his behavior is acceptable to her, and that she's a doormat. He'll have no respect for her.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jealee Khalim (Dec 18, 2011)

All I'm trying to say is, arguing will not solve problems. One way or another one must compromise. Otherwise things will just go more terrible. 

If she still loves him, and she genuinely believe in her heart that she wants her husband back, that by all mean... Change is the only answer...

This is more like a general point of view for those who wants her husband back... But the point may vary according to the scenario itself...

If she can point out more specific, maybe I can pin point the best solution for her...


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## occ2195 (Nov 6, 2011)

Well to clear things up I did not have an argument that made my husband flee and move out. Tonight I was out with one of my friends for dinner and I saw them together, holding hands and kissing. I thought I might throw up. To hear it and see it, is 2 very different things. I wanted to burst into tears, I wanted to jump out of the car and confront them. But I didn't I took deep breaths and tried to compose myself. Such pain I would not wish on anyone. But if that was not bad enough they drive by my house late at night now, for what reason I do not know. I have not talked to him since he blew up at me at the mention of divorce. I have officially filed for divorce. I do not morn the man he has become but the one I married, he is no longer that man. I do not love the man he has become...........I still have love for the man he used to be. Maybe once he loved me, but he also ripped my heart from me, lied, left me penniless, and stuck me with all the bills which I struggled to pay. What man that loves you does that. None that I know of. I know at best I was probably his back up plan if things didn't work out with his new GF. But I will not be 2nd best. I have honor and dignity and strength that he will never know. I will hold my head high in the fact I have done nothing wrong.


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## aug (Aug 21, 2011)

Read up on the 180 (below signature). 

Note that the 180 is for you only, to strength your emotions and mental health.

Also read "just let them go"


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