# Don't Bite The Hand That Feeds You...



## purplekisses83 (May 4, 2014)

Is it fair if you been with your husband almost 6yrs and he doesn't gives you any money to go shopping too have time too yourself or go with you...because i feel like it'd totally unfair..why should I have too beg for this opportunity and never have it..if I almost been with someone I love and adore for 5years and I get all I'd give you is 20.00 and if that what it's for..ain't im good for 100 or 200 I believe more...we suppose too thrive on making each other happy:scratchhead:


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

It all depends on your budget and ability to have spending money. Not being able to give someone $100-$200 for a shopping spree doesn't mean you don't care about their happiness. It has nothing to do with what you're good for. 

What is your budget situation? Sit down and go over it together and come up with a set amount of fun money for each of you to have. It might be $20, it might be $200 but at least you will know where everything stands.


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## Nikita2270 (Mar 22, 2014)

Lawd...if you're a grown woman than why don't you either work it out with your husband per your budget or put on your big girl panties and earn a little of your own money on the side to go shopping with.

Teenagers beg for money...not grown, married women.


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## melw74 (Dec 12, 2013)

I would be quite happy and grateful if my husband gave me £20 to go shopping with, Mainly because we have more important things to spend out money on, more than a shopping spree for things that we could do without.

For me i have children who need things, bills need to be paid, and money for food to fill a fridge and freezer up for 7 people, so we have to stick to a budget.... If we have any spare cash we use it for days out etc.


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## Phenix70 (May 6, 2012)

Get a job and buy your own stuff, then you can spend your hard earned money on what you want. It also instills a sense of self, that you're earning your own money without expecting a handout from your husband. He's your partner, not an ATM. I also bet when it comes to buying things with your hard earned money, you're going to think twice about buying it.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

purplekisses83 said:


> Is it fair if you been with your husband almost 6yrs and he doesn't gives you any money to go shopping too have time too yourself or go with you...because i feel like it'd totally unfair..why should I have too beg for this opportunity and never have it..if I almost been with someone I love and adore for 5years and I get all I'd give you is 20.00 and if that what it's for..ain't im good for 100 or 200 I believe more...we suppose too thrive on making each other happy:scratchhead:


Purple, 

Your SAHM situation seems really messed up. But we only know what little you have told us. Did he agree to you being a SAHM? Is there some reason you can't work? There are some couples who desire that a parent stay home to take care of the children, and they don't mind going without to make it happen. But both spouses should still have access to the money and have a budget. If the budget allows for a shopping spree after bills and savings, then fine. If it doesn't then the spouses have agreed to go without.

What is your situation? Does your husband earn enough for you to have spending money? If he does, and just won't let you have access to the money, then you should go ahead and get a job. I'm a SAHM, but I would NEVER be one if there were accounts I didn't have access to. I would then work and have an account that he wouldn't have access to, because that is an indication I cannot trust him so we need to have separate accounts. You need a LOT of trust to be a SAHM, and that trust should be demonstrated first and foremost in how the money is handled. 

What in the world would you do if he started miss treating you and/or your kids and you have no access to money. You really need a plan to fix this like, YESTERDAY! And it's probably going to start with getting a job, any job, and putting some money away. Even baby-sit other kids if you have to.

ETA I see that you are self-employed. You should go to the 5 Love Languages website and take the test. I have a feeling what your love language is and that is maybe why you are wanting HIM to give you money instead of using your own money to shop. Do you not pool your money together to pay bills and savings?


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## Toshiba2020 (Mar 1, 2012)

Just because you do the dishes and change diapers doesnt mean you get $200 automatically, maybe he hasent spend money on his hobbies in years so when you ask for $200 he laughs and says here is $20 go have fun. I wish i could give more input but without knowing your household income, expenses, savings, etc... its hard to say if he is being stingy by giving you $20 or if he is being a saint because that $20 was his lunch money and for the next week he will be eating abandoned left overs from the office fridge.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

purplekisses83 said:


> Is it fair if you been with your husband almost 6yrs and he doesn't gives you any money to go shopping too have time too yourself or go with you...because i feel like it'd totally unfair..why should I have too beg for this opportunity and never have it..if I almost been with someone I love and adore for 5years and I get all I'd give you is 20.00 and if that what it's for..ain't im good for 100 or 200 I believe more...we suppose too thrive on making each other happy:scratchhead:


I am asking you why have you let him do this? You are your own person. If you need money, or want it and have to ask him for it, wouldn't you want to be independent and go get it for yourself? 
This just bothers me. Especially since you mentioned that you have been doing this for 6 years now...


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

purplekisses83 said:


> Is it fair if you been with your husband almost 6yrs and he doesn't gives you any money to go shopping too have time too yourself or go with you...because i feel like it'd totally unfair..why should I have too beg for this opportunity and never have it..if I almost been with someone I love and adore for 5years and I get all I'd give you is 20.00 and if that what it's for..ain't im good for 100 or 200 I believe more...we suppose too thrive on making each other happy:scratchhead:


I'm going to be a little rough here to hopefully open your eyes (but not in the way you think)

So you're saying you give 6 years of service for $200...I think you want to increase your rates.

So you're saying you want your husband to give you cash to make you happy. What about what he does. Where's YOUR money. Do you give HIM money?

Why don't you have joint accounts to begin with. How are you at managing money versus your husband.

Nevermind....I'm reading your other posts.

So you throw his phone on the floor, doesn't break, and in retaliation he throws yours and breaks it but wants you to pay to replace it.

You have multiple threads about this one issue about the 100-200. Why do you need that many instead of truly expanding on ONE thread so people have a proper understanding of your marriage?

Your profile says you're self employed, not a SAHM. What do you do for a living, what is YOUR income like. Why self employed versus working in the workforce?

Do you want to keep posting about the same issue or expand on your situation so people can actually help.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

You’re not working as a team. Marriage is a team sport. A lot of money, some money or no money may be appropriate (I don’t know your financial circumstances) BUT you both have to work that out together.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Since you do not give any information on your situation, it's hard to know if you are being unreasonable or not.

In your profile you say that you are self employed. Do you work and bring in money? Do you help pay the bills?

Do you and your husband work together on your finances? If you really want some input based on your situation you need to give us more info.


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