# How many here are happily married.



## 20yrsofmarriage (Sep 29, 2014)

These threads are pretty depressing, including mine. If I just had to gauge the happiness in most marriages here, I'd shoot for not so happy. So I created this poll out of curiosity.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I'm very happy, but this is really a wrong forum to post this question.

Most people are here because of deep/big issues in their marriage, thus might not be too happy.

It's like asking "how reliable is your car" on a Car Forum. Most people are there/found the place because they had an issue > looking for solutions.

Many will say "car is unreliable", while out there in the world there is MILLIONS that feel the opposite.


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## 20yrsofmarriage (Sep 29, 2014)

DoF said:


> I'm very happy, but this is really a wrong forum to post this question.
> 
> Most people are here because of deep/big issues in their marriage, thus might not be too happy.
> 
> ...


True but only 3 have voted so far and all three say "happily married" ,so maybe this ISN'T the wrong place to put it.I've read a handful of posts that were by others who were happy in their marriage. They probably just post less bc they have less to complain about.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

We'd be as happy cohabiting. Marriage has changed nothing in that regard.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I love being married... but the truth is. I came here feeling a little frustrated..I wanted something *more* out of my husband...a little mid life crisis going on one could say....then I got ...well addicted to posting here...it was a distraction for a time that I needed...

I probably should have left a long long time ago ...but it's been difficult ...crazy as that sounds... I go back & forth, I shouldn't be here, people don't want to hear our happy sh**...but I like to post.. maybe something I say can help/ inspire, give new direction, with the many book suggestions, etc (I've read so many myself!).... but I don't belong! ... but it's a free country, if you want to post on a forum ...POST!!

I have this little







always sitting on my shoulder about it..


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## 20yrsofmarriage (Sep 29, 2014)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I love being married... but the truth is. I came here feeling a little frustrated..I wanted something *more* out of my husband...a little mid life crisis going on one could say....then I got ...well addicted to posting here...it was a distraction for a time that I needed...
> 
> I probably should have left a long long time ago ...but it's been difficult ...crazy as that sounds... I go back & forth, I shouldn't be here, people don't want to hear our happy sh**...but I like to post.. maybe something I say can help/ inspire, give new direction, with the many book suggestions, etc (I've read so many myself!).... but I don't belong! ... but it's a free country, if you want to post on a forum ...POST!!
> 
> ...


Why would you leave? No where does it state you can't post here if you're happily married. Sometimes we need to hear the truth and get a new or different perspective. I personally was quite disgusted when a poster,posted asking for advice on something that could be worked out ,and a few posters first replies were to divorce her. 

We may be in the valley in our marriage but I'd rather someone respond to me with hope rather than defeat. Now I realize divorce is a must in some situations, but not most.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

I voted completely happy because that comes the closest to my situation. However the truth is that no one, no matter how good the marriage, is completely happy. A better choice would have been "Happily Married - The good days far out number the bad days"


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## 20yrsofmarriage (Sep 29, 2014)

The Middleman said:


> I voted completely happy because that comes the closest to my situation, however the truth is that on one, no matter how good the marriage, is completely happy. A better choice would have been *"Happily Married - The good days far out number the bad days"*


I thought about that option right after I posted it. Probably too late to edit now. I know that some ppl are in between, which is why I put "not happily, but not miserably". Being married 20 yrs, all of those options choices have been a truth in my marriage at one season or another.


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## I Don't Know (Oct 8, 2013)

When I found TAM, I was in a low sex, low affection marriage. Typical room mate situation. I kinda thought all marriages ended up that way, but this place showed me otherwise. I tried different things suggested on here and eventually gave up. 

I'm now in my second marriage and couldn't be happier. I continue to come here and post here because this place is addictive.


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## Abc123wife (Sep 18, 2013)

The Middleman said:


> I voted completely happy because that comes the closest to my situation, however the truth is that on one, no matter how good the marriage, is completely happy. A better choice would have been "Happily Married - The good days far out number the bad days"


I agree. There needs to also be an option of "mostly happy but looking for ways to improve the marriage". That is what I would select.

Edited to add that I did not respond to the poll because none of the options were close enough.


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## JASON56 (Aug 28, 2014)

i think alot of people will choose completely happy, because the other options are to far off.
i had to make that choice even though i would not say completely , i don't think a very long term marriage could be completely happy, i think it would be very very rare.


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## RoseAglow (Apr 11, 2013)

I posted Happily Married- but I would have put "Wouldn't change it for the world!" since it's not always blissful smooth sailing. Still it's all good, I wouldn't have it any other way.


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## Youngster (Sep 5, 2014)

Voted completely happy but would have voted mostly happy if there were that selection.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

JASON56 said:


> i think alot of people will choose completely happy, because the other options are to far off.
> i had to make that choice even though i would not say completely , i don't think a very long term marriage could be completely happy, i think it would be very very rare.



I'm completely happy in my 20 years marriage. As of late we kind of experienced a new awaking in our marriage. In short, some parts of the marriage I mismanaged(lack of affection) . Coming here and reading these threads enlightened me to a portion of my marriage that I needed to work on. I did so and now my W feels full circle complete in our marriage, love and life. The next 20 years will be much better than the first. 

This site's advise from other members and me making the needed changes has proven fruitful. This email from my W is priceless: 



> Good morning sweetie,
> Before I get started with getting things together for tonight and the running around, I just wanted you to know...I LOVE YOU! I'm so looking forward to a three day weekend with you, doing nothing or anything! I love our time together, and cherish our love for each other. I have always told you, you are a great dad and provider, but today I wanted you to know that you are an awesome husband and lover. You fulfill my needs with: making me feel special, feel appreciated, feel loved, feel sexy, feel important, feel like you like being with me, make me feel like sometimes I'm the only person in the room, and cherished. In the bedroom, you make me feel sensual, sexy and secure. You love me full circle!! And I just wanted you to know.
> Hope 5 o'clock cums quickly Winking face
> Hope you have a great day xoxo


We have risen to a different level in our marriage. It feels wonderful.


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## tryingtobebetter (Aug 6, 2012)

I am part of the happy crowd.

:smthumbup:


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## Vorlon (Sep 13, 2012)

I would say I have a happy and successful marriage (28 years). But I'll be honest there are days and times when I don't feel that way. 

Long term marriages have ups and downs. There are days that I feel absolutely, madly in love and lust with my wife. There are days when I don't. I'm sure she feels the same. 

Its a choice everyday to love and work together to make the marriage work. It takes the two of you and no it isn't 50/50. Its more like 110/110. Some days it's 150/50 and you both have to work through those days as well as enjoy the great ones.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Define happily...and is it more happy wife happy life or is a husband happiness count...lol


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## 20yrsofmarriage (Sep 29, 2014)

Xenote said:


> Define happily...and is it more happy wife happy life or is a husband happiness count...lol


When you can go a month and the allure of the thought of divorce doesn't enter your mind. When you don't wonder on a regular basis if you'll be married 5 yrs from now.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

20yrsofmarriage said:


> When you can go a month and the allure of the thought of divorce doesn't enter your mind. When you don't wonder on a regular basis if you'll be married 5 yrs from now.


If that is happiness then I'm ecstatic. I can honestly say in my entire 20 years of marriage the D word passed my mine perhaps 3 times. This over some dumb argument certainly. 

Do I wonder if I will be married in 5 years? No. My W and I do not wonder about our future together. We have our plan for our future together. We are not much for chartering uncertain waters.


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## meson (May 19, 2011)

Right now we are happily married. But over time that couldn't always have been said. We worked on our marriage and fell in love with each other again about 6 years ago.


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## magnolia2014 (Aug 29, 2014)

20yrsofmarriage said:


> Why would you leave? No where does it state you can't post here if you're happily married. Sometimes we need to hear the truth and get a new or different perspective. I personally was quite disgusted when a poster,posted asking for advice on something that could be worked out ,and a few posters first replies were to divorce her.
> 
> We may be in the valley in our marriage but I'd rather someone respond to me with hope rather than defeat. Now I realize divorce is a must in some situations, but not most.


I'm happily married, but I wouldn't say completely. So, I didn't vote. 

I'm newly married and our newly wed life isn't what most make it out to be. Don't get me wrong - we are very happy - but we have our problems too.... blended family, x-wife issues, and we're still learning each other. Sometimes he does things and I'm like..."Now, what was THAT about?" :scratchhead: And you know what? I like finding out those answers. I like learning more and more about him. I came on this forum to talk about some of these situations, but mainly because I felt like I could learn so much from other people's posts. 

I have been surprised too at how many people speak of divorce first for advice rather than helpful suggestions. I didn't get married to divorce when a problem arises. I got married because I can't picture not being with my H everyday for the rest of my life. Yes, sometimes he makes me want to scream and sometimes I make him want to pull his hair out, but we roll with what life hands us, figure things out together, and keep going.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening all
The options don't really cover it for me. We are very happy, but also have some significant problems which come and go (mostly due to our LD/HD problem).


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