# Please advise..



## babitha

Hii,
We are married for 9 yrs and have a son 7 year old. We had frequent misunderstandings and fights since early marriage. My husband is a people pleaser and so attached to mother. But I was never close to her . In our society he is supposed to take care of his mother and since I wanted to live separately it was always an issue. Recently it escalated and he left home telling me I never valued his important concerns( mother and his friends). He wanted a divorce after one month of leaving home. I was totally against it. But he made me sign in mutual petition saying he will rethink during waiting period and come back. But now the waiting period is over, I don't want to proceed and I want to withdraw my consent.I love him so much inspite of his weakness(drinking, smoking, chatting with old girl friend, tapping my phone to hear whether I am talking to my mother about his mother) and ready to rectify my self centered ways. But he cant trust in me and fears me since I controlled his life and he wants a divorce and he may come back for living together without a legal bond. But I cant do it since I am a believer.Please advise me to how to handle this. He will not come for counseling nor listen to any relatives or friends..


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## EleGirl

Have you spoken to a lawyer to see if you can withdraw your consent?

Sadly, it sounds like you let him bully you into signing and you might now be stuck with that.

If the divorce goes through and he wants to come back to live with you with no marriage, don't let him. You need to find your own power and stand up to him.

Why would you even want to be with a man who chases after other women and who treats you badly? You say that you love him. My bet is that you love who you thought he was when you married him. Your love belongs to you. YOu can give it to someone and you can take it away from them... take it back. You would be served well to take back your love as it sounds like he does not deserve it. And then look for a good man to marry.


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