# Not sure what to do, wife had online affiars



## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

I'm going out of my mind. Little history........was having sciatica pain due to a lower disc for about a year. I'm not big on asking for help but finally planed sugary on 12/21/15. I'm also a stay at home dad for many years as it just worked and my wife made good money. 

Anyway, on the 20th I saw her texting someone......I asked to see and she didn't want to show. I made her. Turns out it was some guy telling her what she wanted to hear. I found out he was a FB scammer pretending to be in the military and she pretty much knew it. I was like WTF are you thinking?!?!? She told me as she was about to turn 41 that she didn't feel attractive and liked the kind words and attention. I told her I'll work on my negativity and told her I loved her. 

We've been together about 18 yrs! so I'm not willing to just throw in the towel. I believe we make a great team and have done well together. As anyone can imagine I was on high alert while healing from my surgery and looking back depression from finding out. 

Moving forward to 3/23/16, my wife was on a business trip to Nashville, TN. I ended up looking on her Ipad and saw a odd name......I looked him up and saw my wife's picture with a different name!! I totally lost it. It was about 2am and I confronted her about it. I mean she had 70 guy(only) friends. Some groups she was in was man cave, single and friends, etc. As we were on the phone she deleted the FB account. I told her not to so I can get closure but did it anyway. I also want to ad that about 2 weeks before the trip she shaved down below and the sex was excellent.

I posted my findings on my FB as I wanted everyone I know what she did. Pretty much had a nervous breakdown. Lots of her family saw the post and was very open about what I found out. As the days passed, I was on a crazy ride of major anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide. Ended up seeing a doctor as I couldn't cope with my feeling. 

I'm still having a hard time but coping better. I figure I can come here for support as most of my days thoughts are about this trust issue. I've asked her 1000 times all different questions. She told me she never met any of them even though some wanted to. She also said no pics of her body(pretty insecure) were sent except some facial and cleavage. Her reason for doing this(so I was told) was I've been negative and lack off attention. She is a hard worker and good mother so I can see her point. The account was deleted(after she said good by) and the email address she was using in front of me.

I have 3 kids with her, 6,9 and 17 so that alone is a major decision. I've put so much into this marriage or so I thought. I have many investments which did take lots of my time away. She would come home, and I'd be in the garage fixing something. This would happen on the weekends too. She is open to all my questions and ways to fix me/us. 

I feel weak but sooo don't want to loose what I've built with her and feel like I'm smothering her. I get comfort in just sitting next to her and spooning in bed. I'd appreciate any questions, ideas or suggestions. Thanks for the VENT!


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

What is she doing to fix not just the marriage but herself, she sounds like she has self-esteem issues and is seeking validation by other men. is she remorseful ?


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## ReidWright (May 15, 2014)

"and the email address she was using in front of me."

you should have asked for the password, then take it over...or try to reopen using the same name. See what emails she gets.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

You need to get a job ASAP. Women typically don't respect a SAHD. I would guess she has hooked up on more than one occasion. Especially if she travels for work.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

You need to seriously consider the very real possibility that your wife hasn't limited her indiscretions to "online affairs" ONLY.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

The only thing you can trust about her right now is that she's LYING. She hooked up in Nashville at the very least.

Get STD tested right away and tell her to as well.

Then take her phone, tablet, whatever she uses away from her and scour them for anything you can find. In the meantime start snooping also. 

She's blaming you for what she did - classic.

You need to read this

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...e-tam-cwi-newbies-please-read.html#post430739


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

mikenj said:


> I'm also a stay at home dad for many years as it just worked and my wife made good money.


I'm not saying there is necessarily anything wrong with being a SAHD. But it might help you to know how often we see them being cheated on here. Very often. And there's a reason.

Most wives who are the breadwinner, lose respect for their SAHD husband; whether they will admit or not. And with that loss of respect comes loss of attraction. On top of that, she now sees you rug sweeping her cheating and loses even more respect for you. She knows you are unlikely to insist that she accept consequences because she knows you fear divorce. If that is not remedied, she will likely cheat again and you will wind up in a miserable, false R.

My advice as a first step, is to make a plan to put yourself in a position where the option of divorce is economically viable for you. Whether that means getting a job or by some other means. Until that happens, you have no ammunition to hold her accountable. At some point, you have to be willing to end your marriage to have the best chance of saving it. We say that a lot here.


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## zzzman99 (Oct 23, 2015)

Thound said:


> You need to get a job ASAP. Women typically don't respect a SAHD. I would guess she has hooked up on more than one occasion. Especially if she travels for work.


Exactly. Look up a poster called 'vikings'. Same thing going on.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

a LOT of women have body image problems It helps a LOT if you buy them sexy things, lingerie, show them they still turn you on. 

However, even if you were a bit neanderthal, it does not giver her cate blanche to satisfy her insecurity by finding other men!

you being a stay at home dad might have lowered your "sexual ranking", compared to business executives she can meet in the hotel bar while traveling. So you are at a possible disadvantage there. Work out, dress more fashionably, act more dominant. 

But you really need to have the talk with her, find out if she has been stepping out, or if this is all just an online fantasy. You might be lucky and have caught it early enough to change this train wrecks course.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

I had a similar story, except I work and provide. I didn't do my part at taking care of the kids. I can tell you why she is shaving. It's because she is sending them pics of her CU** and they are sending her pics of their d*&s.
And if it's not physical yet, it will be.
This stuff makes them lose what little emotional attraction they still had for their husbands before they started this bullsh**. These guys will tell her all about what a loser you are and how they would treat her so differently, and how wonderful she is-- of course just to get pics, attention, and hopefully in her pants. She is most assuredly sexting. You probably don't know what that really entails, but it's awful. Physical stuff comes next.

Honestly, you won't do it, but you are better off filing for divorce NOW.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

Xenote said:


> What is she doing to fix not just the marriage but herself, she sounds like she has self-esteem issues and is seeking validation by other men. is she remorseful ?


 She plans on going to therapy with me. Her oldest son has been hospitalized with sepsis about a week ago so trying to give her some space. I believe she is remorseful but not as much as I would like. She never cried........did get teary when I was able to see some search history on the email account. Said see was overwhelmed.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

Thound said:


> You need to get a job ASAP. Women typically don't respect a SAHD. I would guess she has hooked up on more than one occasion. Especially if she travels for work.


She never travels........what I would do is watch the kids and still work, I'd fix motorcycles on the side, cars, whatever to make money. and made good $ in stocks. I made enough to buy another house in cash. I think that might be part of the problem.......worrying too much about making $$ and not being with her.


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## becareful (Jan 28, 2016)

I've forgotten how many times I've read where the wayward wives say they would never tell their husbands about the affair. Their rationale is that confession would only hurt their husband, so they're sparing him the pain. They're great at compartmentalizing and trickle-truthing. It would not surprise anyone here that this affair has gone physical. Usually when the WW shaves down there, someone else other than the husband has been down there also. Lots of stories like yours here at TAM. 

You've bought into the modern day trend to be a stay at home dad, and while it's great that your children spend more time with you, it hurts your relationship with your wife. Eventually, most wives will resent their SAH husbands, and with resentment comes lost of respect where they feel superior to you. We men are wired to hunt and provide for our family. Fix your physical issue and get a job asap. Many people who travel for work have affairs and add your wife's self-esteem issue, that tinder is ready to catch fire, if it hasn't already.


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## becareful (Jan 28, 2016)

mikenj said:


> She never travels........what I would do is watch the kids and still work, I'd fix motorcycles on the side, cars, whatever to make money. and made good $ in stocks. I made enough to buy another house in cash. I think that might be part of the problem.......worrying too much about making $$ and not being with her.


You said she went on a business trip to TN. That's business travel.


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

mikenj said:


> She never travels........what I would do is watch the kids and still work, I'd fix motorcycles on the side, cars, whatever to make money. and made good $ in stocks. I made enough to buy another house in cash. I think that might be part of the problem.......worrying too much about making $$ and not being with her.


She is doing this because she wants to, not because your not "being with her". This is her own issue she needs to own. She can try to blameshift onto you but it's really a hollow argument.


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## Dyokemm (Apr 24, 2013)

Mikenj,

Sorry you are here...it sucks.

But you better get out of denial fast if you what to get to the bottom of what she has really been up to.

A woman doesn't need to groom her private areas for an 'online' A.

And you said she doesn't travel for work....I guess you mean she doesn't travel MUCH....because you just stated she was away in Tennessee on business when you found the FB with the fake name.

Get out of denial fast and save yourself....

Don't you find it just a little convenient that she shaves right before leaving to Tennessee?

Even if there were no PA's BEFORE this trip, I think you better prepare yourself for the worst about what happened while she was in Tennessee.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

Talker67 said:


> a LOT of women have body image problems It helps a LOT if you buy them sexy things, lingerie, show them they still turn you on.
> 
> However, even if you were a bit neanderthal, it does not giver her cate blanche to satisfy her insecurity by finding other men!
> 
> ...


 I think you nailed it. She does have body image problems and has been trying to lose weight. I think I could tell her how hot she is till I'm blue in the face........think she wanted to hear it from other men that she still "got it".

I see your point about me being lower ranking BUT I've done quite well for myself with investments and repairs on the side. 

Like your idea of working out! I did start to run to loose a few lbs. I'm only 205 and 6' so that shouldn't be to hard. I WAS smoking a lot of pot which I have stopped and know didn't help us(she hardly drinks and doesn't smoke). 

She has said it was a fantasy and I want to trust her. She never really goes out......we got 3 kids!


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

Tell you what, check the FB account to see if she's telling the truth.

Oh... wait.

That's right.

She deleted it.

She.

Is.

Lying.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

badmemory said:


> I'm not saying there is necessarily anything wrong with being a SAHD. But it might help you to know how often we see them being cheated on here. Very often. And there's a reason.
> 
> Most wives who are the breadwinner, lose respect for their SAHD husband; whether they will admit or not. And with that loss of respect comes loss of attraction. On top of that, she now sees you rug sweeping her cheating and loses even more respect for you. She knows you are unlikely to insist that she accept consequences because she knows you fear divorce. If that is not remedied, she will likely cheat again and you will wind up in a miserable, false R.
> 
> My advice as a first step, is to make a plan to put yourself in a position where the option of divorce is economically viable for you. Whether that means getting a job or by some other means. Until that happens, you have no ammunition to hold her accountable. At some point, you have to be willing to end your marriage to have the best chance of saving it. We say that a lot here.


I wonder if they lose their self-respect before they lose respect for their SAHH?


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## ThePheonix (Jan 3, 2013)

mikenj said:


> I also want to ad that about 2 weeks before the trip she shaved down below and the sex was excellent.


My interpretation from what I'm reading is that you'd likely get a second on that statement from someone in music city my man. When a woman starts fishing for attention from other guys, it means she's lost a lot of romantic interest in you and wants to expand her horizons. Most women can find a plethora of men to help her do that.
Like I've said in previous post about SAHDs, if you want to hang around the den and still have the ladies think you're the king, you better be a lion.


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## Divinely Favored (Apr 1, 2014)

She shaved her kitty before going on a trip...and you really beliebe she did not meet one of her guys.

I would have her do a polygraph to verify she did not send slick kitty picture to the guy just before going on trip. That way he knew what she was about to give him while away from you.

You need to wake up dude!

I bet the fb acct is still there somewhere. Did she just deactivate it or delete the app.

SHE IS JERKING YOUR CHAIN!


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

mikenj said:


> Anyway, on the 20th I saw her texting someone......I asked to see and she didn't want to show. I made her.
> 
> 3/23/16, my wife was on a business trip to Nashville, TN. I ended up looking on her Ipad and saw a odd name......I looked him up and saw my wife's picture with a different name!!
> 
> ...


I'm sorry and I don't want to push you over BUT

Your 40 stop being so naïve


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

Read weightlifters post and start to gather as much as deleted electronic devices can yield up

Then schedule a polygraph test...

see how she reacts when you tell her you have scheduled one..

The fear alone should bring out more details before the test date

She shaved before trip and had great sex.....ill put £50 against your £25 I know the answer why


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## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

mikenj said:


> I think you nailed it. She does have body image problems and has been trying to lose weight. I think I could tell her how hot she is till I'm blue in the face........think she wanted to hear it from other men that she still "got it".
> 
> I see your point about me being lower ranking BUT I've done quite well for myself with investments and repairs on the side.
> 
> ...


She goes to work, she has time away from the home, she has time to have an affair or random hookup. You want to trust her but she has to re-earn your trust as she has broken it. 

You caught her, it's not like she wanted to stop so she probably has just gotten sneakier. They rarely can just stop cold turkey from the highs they receive doing this stuff. One of the most common hallmarks is trickle truth. Only admit to how much a spouse already knows


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## G.J. (Nov 4, 2014)

Read this and act A.S.A.P.

Weightlifters - Standard Evidence Post

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/209754-standard-evidence-post.html#post9756666


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## rzmpf (Mar 11, 2016)

Divinely Favored said:


> I bet the fb acct is still there somewhere. Did she just deactivate it or delete the app.


Even if she deleted it, making a new one and joining the groups she was in (and remembering certain individual names) takes no time, same with a new email.

The evidence would be on her phone/bill, texts, calls and photos. Could have a prepaid phone.

With her behaviour and her trip it's also pretty safe to assume that now there is a specific OM and not just a bunch of horny internet dudes. Tiny possibility that she just shaved for sexting, but I highly doubt that. Seems to have moved underground or at least slowed down because of the sick kid. But for one dude she does not need FB.


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## Sports Fan (Aug 21, 2014)

Chances are she was physical with some of them. In fact id bet my house on it. 

That said you mentioned you are a stay at home dad. Seek the advice of a lawyer. Stay at homes usually do very well out of any divorce settlement.

She might even end up paying you ailmony.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

So, you should tell us: why did she suddenly start shaving?--- I'll bet she keeps it shaved now for the OM.
She didn't shave before?

Your wife is lying and you are fearful and don't want to believe the truth.

There is zero chance she has stopped this behavior. ZERO.

It's addictive and she likes it.
My ex, yes ex, was having sex with me every night. Even the night before I had to ask her to leave because I found out she was still doing that stuff. 

You can stick your head in the sand if you want, the problem will be waiting for you when you pull it out. And it will be bigger.

I'm sorry, it's just how it is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DandyDan (Apr 8, 2016)

Wow, this is a repeat of my life back 3 years ago, let me tell you of my experience. She may or may not have had sex, but she cheated all the same. If you stay in this relationship, it will be at least 2 years before you feel halfway good about anything! The more you dig, the more you will realize you don't have a clue to whom you are married. She is only remorseful in the fact she got caught, and as time passes, so will her regrets of getting caught. Your marriage will NEVER be what it once was and you will become hateful and cynical because there are too many unresolved senarios. If you stay together, her hate for you will grow also because it will have always been YOUR fault she cheated, and got caught, and gained weight, and got depressed, and are always mad, etc. ETC. I can't tell you what to do, but I stayed (2 small children), I found friends to talk to to keep me sane, and realize now, my marriage is fake at best! We have sex like once every two months, but when my kids are older I will probably divorce. If you need to talk, let me know!! I understand COMPLETELY!!


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

If you believe that she didn't hook up on that trip, I have a bridge to sell you. Lots of traffic, excellent location!


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

First thing you better do is wake up and stop making excuses for her. I didn't do this and I didn't do that stuff is only making things worse not better.

You said you made good money in the stock market and you fix motorcycles on the side. Tell you what. Start doing it full time and stop rolling over and playing dead for her. She's cheating on you and your letting it slide. 

When you called her the night she was out of town and told her what you found out, you should have told her to stay there and not to come home because she wasn't welcome there any longer. Granted she has the right to return but at least she would have know that when she came back home she was walking in to a hornets nest and she would have known that she was walking a real thin tightrope.

The way your going, someday your going to find her in bed and she's going to look you in the eye and tell you that it's not what it looks like.........................and you'll believe her.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

Insist she take the polygraph test. There are certain things you MUST know if you hope to keep your marriage intact. 

When the son is out of the hospital get this done.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

How many kids here? You mention HER oldest son. You mention WE have three kids?

Was she married before you?


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## becareful (Jan 28, 2016)

mikenj said:


> She does have body image problems and has been trying to lose weight. I think I could tell her how hot she is till I'm blue in the face........think she wanted to hear it from other men that she still "got it".



Let her know that other men compliment her in order to get in her panties, but since you are already in her panties, your compliments are more sincere.:wink2:


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## becareful (Jan 28, 2016)

GusPolinski said:


> Tell you what, check the FB account to see if she's telling the truth.
> 
> Oh... wait.
> 
> ...


I'm willing to bet that there's a whole LOT MORE incriminating evidence in her FB account, that's why she deleted it. Maybe her main affair partner is in there, too.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Have you been a member since 2012? Your history says younhave made a total of 4 posts, three on this thread. Why dud you join 4 yrs ago?

Is this a second marriage for her? You posted the 17ye old as her son, not ours.


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## syhoybenden (Feb 21, 2013)

becareful said:


> Let her know that other men compliment her in order to get in her panties, but since you are already in her panties, your compliments are more sincere.:wink2:



:iagree:

I like this.

Definitely quotable.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

Divinely Favored said:


> She shaved her kitty before going on a trip...and you really beliebe she did not meet one of her guys.
> 
> I would have her do a polygraph to verify she did not send slick kitty picture to the guy just before going on trip. That way he knew what she was about to give him while away from you.
> 
> ...


She had deactivated it and we then together deleted it for good along with the email.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

blueinbr said:


> How many kids here? You mention HER oldest son. You mention WE have three kids?
> 
> Was she married before you?


I have 3 with her. The oldest 22yrs old with a dead beat. So 4 total.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

JohnA said:


> Have you been a member since 2012? Your history says younhave made a total of 4 posts, three on this thread. Why dud you join 4 yrs ago?
> 
> Is this a second marriage for her? You posted the 17ye old as her son, not ours.


I did join in 2012.......we were having some issues so came here to look around. 

1st marriage for use both. She had the oldest when she was young.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

mikenj said:


> She had deactivated it and we then together deleted it for good along with the email.


That was a mistake.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

GusPolinski said:


> That was a mistake.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Why? I think it can still be opened, saw something like 14 days


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

So you both deactivated AND permanently deleted the account? I googled this and FB says a "permanently delete" account cannot be regained access.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

mikenj said:


> Why? I think it can still be opened, saw something like 14 days


Yes there is a 14 day wait period. REACTIVATE IT NOW without telling her and have a look through it. You have GOT to do this.


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## giddiot (Jun 28, 2015)

Hope1964 said:


> Yes there is a 14 day wait period. REACTIVATE IT NOW without telling her and have a look through it. You have GOT to do this.


I downloaded the whole thing before I permanently deleted it.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> The only thing you can trust about her right now is that she's LYING. She hooked up in Nashville at the very least.
> 
> Get STD tested right away and tell her to as well.
> 
> ...


Did you read this???


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

mikenj said:


> Why? I think it can still be opened, saw something like 14 days


Might want to go ahead and do that then.

Once you do, dump the contents of the account to an archive. Facebook provides a function for that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Acoa (Sep 21, 2012)

Recover the FB account pronto. 

Read the newbie link already provided. 

Also get Dr.Pone from wondershare and use it on her iPad (and iphone if she has one). Look through the pics. It will recover deleted information that she may have been texting. 

Get the password for that email account, keep it active. Change the password so she can't get into it. See what comes in.

Don't discuss with her what you are doing. Just do it, tell her to leave you be. If she pesters you, tell her that you feel she is lying, and you are doing some research. Don't tell her what you are researching. That she can either comply, or walk out the door. 

If she walks out the door, then you know your answer. She has done something she feels you would never forgive her for. That simple.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> Yes there is a 14 day wait period. REACTIVATE IT NOW without telling her and have a look through it. You have GOT to do this.


 I did look through it......pretty sure she deleted all the pm messages and they cant be recovered.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

mikenj said:


> I did look through it......pretty sure she deleted all the pm messages and they cant be recovered.


Have you reactivated it? If not do so NOW. Then see what new messages come if they've been deleted.

Have you read my other post? Have you been STD tested? Have you read the newbie link? And the evidence gathering thread? Please do this stuff - now.


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

mikenj said:


> I did look through it......pretty sure she deleted all the pm messages and they cant be recovered.


They might be in the "Archived" folder.

You might also learn quite a bit by looking closely at the friends list.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

mikenj said:


> She had deactivated it and we then together deleted it for good along with the email.


You have effectively taken away any shred of evidence contrary to what your W has claimed to have occurred.  Further, I suspect the business travel more has happened then you are being told. Shaving the privates before a trip...very telling.


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## becareful (Jan 28, 2016)

syhoybenden said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I like this.
> 
> Definitely quotable.


I lifted that from someone. >


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Mikenj what where the issues you where researching in 2012?


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

Most importantly MikeNJ what are you doing to fix yourself?

Going suicidal and ranting to family members over FB does nothing but make you look crazy.

And only hurts you in the long run.

Infidelity is hurtful to all parties involved.

You need to be strong both mentally and physically to deal with the mess.

So put some focus on you as well. 

And remember, your wife could have picked a 100 ways to make herself feel better than choosing yo carry on with other men outside the marriage.

You really need to get inside her head.

Does your WW have a good shrink?

HM


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## 86857 (Sep 5, 2013)

Can you see her phonebills? Ask her for them. Demand them actually. 

If you can see her email account, check the 'sent' and 'deleted' folders. 

'Shaving down there', something unusual for her to do? So doing it before she went away?

You should still be able to see her FB msgs on FB message app, if she hasn't deleted them. 

All the deactivating and deleting of her FB account kinda hangs her anyway.

You're not a SAHD. You're a Dad who works at home, who bought another house for cash!

Don't make excuses. If she was unhappy, all she had to do was tell you. Accept NO blame. Classic cheater. KEEP CALM. Keep posting & follow the advice for getting the truth. 

She's not being remorseful because
- when you caught her in December, she didn't stop. 
- she's not telling you the truth
- she's rug-sweeping
- she's blaming you.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

happyman64 said:


> Most importantly MikeNJ what are you doing to fix yourself?
> 
> Going suicidal and ranting to family members over FB does nothing but make you look crazy.
> 
> ...


About the only thing that is helping me right now is selling off some of my stuff. I know that probably sounds odd but I've been hoarding so many things for years and worrying about it. Looking back I was married to these "things" and still am. 

I'm really trying to stay strong here. I'm feeling hopeless most of the time but did get rid of a mower today and felt a glimmer of hope! 

I've got another counseling session coming up and asked her to come with me. Maybe if someone else is asking questions she'll open up some?


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Evinrude58 said:


> So, you should tell us: why did she suddenly start shaving?--- I'll bet she keeps it shaved now for the OM.
> She didn't shave before?
> 
> Your wife is lying and you are fearful and don't want to believe the truth.
> ...


If she has not shown the mown grass and the rut in the lawn IN PERSON then some dudes got to see [the pretty] in virtual reality on their phone or PC Screen. 

Look for sexting and sent pictures of her "bushless best" feature. Guys online ask for this.....Show me your Pu$$y babe...I'll show ya mine!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I ask again:



Hope1964 said:


> Have you reactivated it? If not do so NOW. Then see what new messages come if they've been deleted.
> 
> Have you read my other post? Have you been STD tested? Have you read the newbie link? And the evidence gathering thread? Please do this stuff - now.


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

I been thinking about you. Are you still trying to reconcile. Are you planing to provide an up update ? 

Did your WW every go to see a therapist? If so what do you know of therapist background and treatment. 

Have you looked for a MC to work on this. You need know their background and his approach? 

Have you been withholding intimacy and other forms of affection such as cuddling, hugs, no kissing accept for peck on the the check.

While practice the 180 are you polite and diploimstic and at times occasion helpful them? 

How are your children doing? 

I have more to post about your WW but knowing these details. 

Be well


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## JohnA (Jun 24, 2015)

Oh a biggie what do you know about other man?


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

mikenj said:


> I think you nailed it. She does have body image problems and has been trying to lose weight. I think I could tell her how hot she is till I'm blue in the face........think she wanted to hear it from other men that she still "got it".
> 
> I see your point about me being lower ranking BUT I've done quite well for myself with investments and repairs on the side.
> 
> ...


well the key is to have some boundaries and control on these fantasies! You two need to set those boundaries. Maybe you let her chat or cam with people online, but only with men you preapprove, and only if you have full access to her internet accounts. She can get sexual compliments on her body from some guy in Australia, and you can handle all the physical work of satisfying her locally. just an idea.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Yeswecan said:


> Shaving the privates before a trip...very telling.


ugh, I didn't see that one! yeah, that is pretty telling. A woman does not do that unless a man will see it, unless it is the type of conference where she will be lying on the beach in a bikini a lot.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

JohnA said:


> I been thinking about you. Are you still trying to reconcile. Are you planing to provide an up update ?
> 
> Did your WW every go to see a therapist? If so what do you know of therapist background and treatment.
> 
> ...


 Thanks for the concern John. I'm still working at it. She has been sooo busy I'm trying to back off for now. Right now she is with her oldest son at the hospital. 

I haven't been able to hold off the affection but will try! We went last night to a therapist and she didn't care for her. 

Kids are doing fine.


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## mikenj (Aug 16, 2012)

JohnA said:


> Oh a biggie what do you know about other man?


 She had at least 70 guy "friends" on FB. Talked to at least 5 that I saw from phone records. She says she's done but I heard that before so who knows. 

I'm focusing mostly on myself right now as I just get upset being a detective. She keeps telling me she wants to work it out so I guess time will tell.


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