# Semi-Long Distance relationships



## rebuilding72 (Oct 23, 2013)

I'm in a semi-long distance relationship. We live an hour apart so we are able to see each other a couple times a week. I have a 13 year old daughter and he has no children. I totally adore this man, he is kind, generous, loving, affectionate, overall amazing. The problem? The distance is so hard.... I live a very simple life, I work and take care of my daughter. I get with my friends occasionally but not often. He on the other hand, has no kids, is social and always on the go. He calls and texts me often and we talk about living together sometime next year. The problem is I miss him so much when we are not together, it's so hard spending nights alone when we were just together the night before. Does anyone else have this issue and how do you deal with it? I tend to get upset sometimes because I miss him and want to be with him.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How long have you been seeing each other?

C


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## PAgirl (Sep 10, 2013)

Really? An hour apart? Try living 2500 miles apart! I have been doing that for 3 months. LOL!


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

rebuilding72 said:


> We live an hour apart so we are able to see each other a couple times a week. ... I work and take care of my daughter. I get with my friends occasionally but not often. The problem is I miss him so much when we are not together, I tend to get upset sometimes because I miss him and want to be with him.


I'll come at this from the perspective of being married to a career Army officer. I have had many long distance situations, both before and during my marriage.

One hour and several times a week? And this is bothering you? Oh well, never let it be said I am not blunt. So here goes: you sound very needy to me.

If you tend to be someone who doesn't hang with your friends that much and this guy is a social butterfly ... what makes you think he is going to be as focused on you as you are on him when and if you two move in together?

My husband and I were separated by thousands of miles for months on end. Heck, I frequently didn't have the privilege to even know where he was on the planet due to his top secret security clearance.

Maybe you should invest a little more time and energy in cultivating your friendships and outside interests. You won't miss him as much. And you won't come across as needy.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

I come at this from the perspective that driving to my office takes me an hour in traffic. Longer if it's rainy or snowy. Much longer if there's an accident or construction. In my area, a lot of people drive an hour to work every day, and another hour back. So I don't consider an hour long distance of any kind.

From that perspective, if he wanted to see you more often, he certainly could. But it sounds like he's the kind of guy who likes to be out often, and likely would continue to be even if he were to live with someone. Is that what you want? Would you be up for going out with him all the time? Or would you be home with your daughter while he's out with others? Do you ever join him when he goes out with his friends now?


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## gumtree (Jun 1, 2013)

An hour is not very far apart, although I can relate. I am now in a relationship 5 hours drive apart, but it is probably ideal given that I am quite newly separated and need time to myself to think things through. 

Absence makes the heart fonder and although there is a kind of ache that you cant hold each other and talk face to face each night it is a sweet and touching thing to know they are going to sleep/waking up missing you too. We usually have a good long phone call each evening, with a small amount of mutual grizzling about not being together lol plus a goodnight and/or good morning text and they can get a bit raunchy too, which keeps things warm.

Long distance provides a chance to sloooow a new relationship down by talking a lot so you don't focus just on the physical, invest too heavily in someone who turns out not to be compatible or 'that into you'. So look on the bright side!


For the time apart we both have lives to get on with. Like you I too tend to stay in more than him because I live in his country home town area, whereas he's in the city for his work. But I enjoy my time alone: I have a job I love, hobbies and a good social life. I have plenty of fun stuff to talk about on the phone with him as a result. Please don't mope OP! 

When in the city I go out with him, meet all people he hangs with - social sport teams, workmates, family and old friends. They all feel they know me from his stories and vice versa. Same when he visits me.

Does your man profess the same feelings you have, of missing you after a night together etc? If not, are you on the same page? 

Long distance is a challenging way to be with someone, but if the person is really worth it, you both make it work. I wish you the best.


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I can relate to your situation quite a bit, I've been separated from my exh for almost two years now, and have been in a relationship with my SO for a year. He lives an hour away as well. Sometimes it is difficult with the distance, there are days when you just need to feel them next to you in bed, or want to reach out to them for a hug.

There are positives to this type of situation though, like someone said, the distance really allows you to think about the relationship, and for sure it's a slow process. I only see my SO on the weekends, and there are weekends when he's with his kids, so our time is limited.

I think what you may be not liking is the idea that you don't know what he's up to when he goes out, not in a jealous manner, but in a "I wish I was with him".

Take the time to enjoy each other when you are together, I speak to my SO on the phone each night, it's a way to keep the connection alive.


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