# Affair extortion



## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

I was discussing cheating and cheaters the other night with a friend and we started listing the potential "cons" one might encounter if they decided to step out on their DW/DH.

One of the potential problems that came up was the very real opportunity for the AP to extort or blackmail the WS into keeping the affair going or modifying it or simply demand payment or other services.

I was curious if that sometimes happens and if so, how common it is and to what extent does the extortion go? Do anyone have first hand experience with this?

Seems that this has a lot in common with the way spy agencies "turn" people or discover people who can be "leaned upon" to get them to give up the goods.


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## Observer (Aug 23, 2011)

micawber said:


> I was discussing cheating and cheaters the other night with a friend and we started listing the potential "cons" one might encounter if they decided to step out on their DW/DH.
> 
> One of the potential problems that came up was the very real opportunity for the AP to extort or blackmail the WS into keeping the affair going or modifying it or simply demand payment or other services.
> 
> ...


It is very much a technique. That is why anyone who holds a security clearence takes a risk of losing it if they are caught having an affair.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

When I discovered my ex's affair I didn't blow up. I became a private investigator. I gathered information on everything that was going on. I ended up with her bf's occupation, place of employment, criminal record, mug shot, address, parents address, his other gf's name, and more. There was a lot I could have done with all that information but being the intelligent and mature individual I am I refrained. Other's might not chose such a benign path. I know that's not exactly what your talking about but another interesting angle to consider.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I'm MORe than sure it happens on ******* cheating site, for sure.

What extent? It's probably no different than Vikings and England way back when. The more you give, the more they want.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

well you are dealing with two extrememly selfish people here so yeah i would think the possbility would be high on this. Would be interesting to hear some first hand accounts


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

Shoto1984 said:


> I know that's not exactly what your talking about but another interesting angle to consider.


That is an insteresting angle that is quite scary. I would think that most BS's would confront the AP in a physical way. Certainly having this much intel on them could be quite tempting to try to get them to "dance" while you call the tune.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Indeed. When you mess with someone's life....family, kids etc. you better be prepared for anything. For a lot of people the rules go out the window and they might decide to make a hobby out of ruining your life. just say'n.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Interesting that this topic came up. My husband was having a very similar conversation with some of the men & women at his job. One of the single chicks in the office started saying that the only way she would mess around with a married man is if she benefitted from it in some sort of way (ie. money or paying bills for her). My husband was telling me that this same chick went as far as to say that if the married guy tried to break it off she would extort him. So, yeah, there are real people out there that think that is OK to do.

In cases like with Shoto where he got all of the intel, he could've done some real damage if he wanted to.

It just goes to show that in this day & age, be careful of who you f*ck around with.


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

Shoto1984 said:


> Indeed. When you mess with someone's life....family, kids etc. you better be prepared for anything. For a lot of people the rules go out the window and they might decide to make a hobby out of ruining your life. just say'n.


Wasn't this the basic plot line in the movie "Basic Instinct?" It was a wakeup call when it came out as it scared the sh*t out of me.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

micawber said:


> Wasn't this the basic plot line in the movie "Basic Instinct?" It was a wakeup call when it came out as it scared the sh*t out of me.


Wasn't it "Fatal Attraction"? That bish was crazy in that movie!


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

JustTired said:


> Wasn't it "Fatal Attraction"? That bish was crazy in that movie!


You are correct. It was "Fatal Attraction." And yes, crazy doesn't begin to describe it. The sex seemed awesome though.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

There have been several wayward wives in the cwi section that were blackmailed into keeping the affair going.

One poster had a foriegn guy posting his wifes pictures on porn sites and sending their friends and relatives pictures she had been sexting him.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

micawber said:


> One of the potential problems that came up was the very real opportunity for the AP to extort or blackmail the WS into keeping the affair going or modifying it or simply demand payment or other services.
> 
> I was curious if that sometimes happens and if so, how common it is and to what extent does the extortion go? Do anyone have first hand experience with this?


I don't think this is very common. 

One famous case of this is David Letterman. But he turned the tables around and during one of his recordings, told the audience (and America) that he had had an affair owned it, had talked to his wife about it, and was now being extorted. He said he was publicizing it because he wasn't going to give into anyone's demands and got his lawyer involved.

I thought it was kind of awesome that he did that (not the affair, just how he handled the blackmail).


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

Micawber,
Check out the 1989 Woody Allen movie "Crimes and Misdemeanors"


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

bottom line is don't do the crime if you can't do Or pay the time/fine


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## whatslovegottodowithit? (Jan 6, 2013)

Yes, it happens. A guy I worked with (retired) had a long physical & emotional affair with a divorced woman who had a daughter. Gifts, fixing things around her house, dates, the whole nine yards. He eventually ended it and chose his wife. The crazy ex then filed a police report stating he knowingly gave her herpes. He had to do police interviews.

Next, she (AP) showed-up at the workplace picketing since no criminal charges could be substantiated. She then created a webpage detailing her affair along with vivid details which some were untrue like having sex in the workplace. This brought shame (rightfully so!) to my coworker and his family since it was out in the open. This same lady tried to gather any intel. on any of the people I work with and posted, with a slant, what she thought was a questionable web presence/comments/posts like from myspace (it was that long ago). Further, she combed the garbage and found unshredded personal info. like driver license copies and faxed forms that weren't shredded. People had to write to the hosting service to get their personal info. taken down off of her site.

This person then went on to file a civil suit claiming harm from the herpes she allegedly contracted from my former coworker. It has been tied-up in court for years with continuances, discovery, and so on. It has no doubt cost the WH thousands of dollars just to make this try to go away.

My point, some people get SO deeply hurt when an affair ends, they make it their hobby just to mess with their AP since the affair has ended. It has been 5 plus years now so it's unknown what further played-out. The website was never renewed, but the damage was done. It ruined his career and any chance of future promotion. I believe he is still married to the same woman of 20 plus years.


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> I don't think this is very common.
> 
> One famous case of this is David Letterman. But he turned the tables around and during one of his recordings, told the audience (and America) that he had had an affair owned it, had talked to his wife about it, and was now being extorted. He said he was publicizing it because he wasn't going to give into anyone's demands and got his lawyer involved.
> 
> I thought it was kind of awesome that he did that (not the affair, just how he handled the blackmail).


I remember that and thought it was most unfortunate at the time. I suppose that when faced with the situation, one has three options, neither of which are any good.

Give in to the extortionist's demands
Call their bluff
Own it and blow it up on your terms.

At least with option 3, you have some measure of control in the situation.


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

whatslovegottodowithit? said:


> Yes, it happens. A guy I worked with (retired) had a long physical & emotional affair with a divorced woman who had a daughter. Gifts, fixing things around her house, dates, the whole nine yards. He eventually ended it and chose his wife. The crazy ex then filed a police report stating he knowingly gave her herpes. He had to do police interviews.
> 
> Next, she (AP) showed-up at the workplace picketing since no criminal charges could be substantiated. She then created a webpage detailing her affair along with vivid details which some were untrue like having sex in the workplace. This brought shame (rightfully so!) to my coworker and his family since it was out in the open. This same lady tried to gather any intel. on any of the people I work with and posted, with a slant, what she thought was a questionable web presence/comments/posts like from myspace (it was that long ago). Further, she combed the garbage and found unshredded personal info. like driver license copies and faxed forms that weren't shredded. People had to write to the hosting service to get their personal info. taken down off of her site.
> 
> ...


Wow. I wouldn't be still married I can assure you. Mrs. Micawber would kick me to the curb and pop some popcorn to eat while she watched me squirm. I feel for your former coworker (and his wife and family.)


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

whatslovegottodowithit? said:


> Yes, it happens. A guy I worked with (retired) had a long physical & emotional affair with a divorced woman who had a daughter. Gifts, fixing things around her house, dates, the whole nine yards. He eventually ended it and chose his wife. The crazy ex then filed a police report stating he knowingly gave her herpes. He had to do police interviews.
> 
> Next, she (AP) showed-up at the workplace picketing since no criminal charges could be substantiated. She then created a webpage detailing her affair along with vivid details which some were untrue like having sex in the workplace. This brought shame (rightfully so!) to my coworker and his family since it was out in the open. This same lady tried to gather any intel. on any of the people I work with and posted, with a slant, what she thought was a questionable web presence/comments/posts like from myspace (it was that long ago). Further, she combed the garbage and found unshredded personal info. like driver license copies and faxed forms that weren't shredded. People had to write to the hosting service to get their personal info. taken down off of her site.
> 
> ...


Wow!!! This is the kind of thing that cheaters never think about.....the repercussions from the _crazies_ of the world. I figure if someone is stupid enough to knowingly get into an affair with a married person, then they have the potential to become one of the _crazies_.


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## UMP (Dec 23, 2014)

whatslovegottodowithit? said:


> Yes, it happens. A guy I worked with (retired) had a long physical & emotional affair with a divorced woman who had a daughter. Gifts, fixing things around her house, dates, the whole nine yards. He eventually ended it and chose his wife. The crazy ex then filed a police report stating he knowingly gave her herpes. He had to do police interviews.
> 
> Next, she (AP) showed-up at the workplace picketing since no criminal charges could be substantiated. She then created a webpage detailing her affair along with vivid details which some were untrue like having sex in the workplace. This brought shame (rightfully so!) to my coworker and his family since it was out in the open. This same lady tried to gather any intel. on any of the people I work with and posted, with a slant, what she thought was a questionable web presence/comments/posts like from myspace (it was that long ago). Further, she combed the garbage and found unshredded personal info. like driver license copies and faxed forms that weren't shredded. People had to write to the hosting service to get their personal info. taken down off of her site.
> 
> ...


That story just made my nuts shrivel and suck up into my abdomen!
Thank you. It's good to hear stories like this every once in a while. Keeps you honest.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

UMP said:


> That story just made my nuts shrivel and suck up into my abdomen!
> Thank you. It's good to hear stories like this every once in a while. Keeps you honest.


:rofl: But oh so true!!! LMAO!


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

micawber said:


> Give in to the extortionist's demands
> Call their bluff
> Own it and blow it up on your terms.


I forgot option 4. I have some cousins who are very good at making problems "go away." Perhaps it would pay to be crazier than the person extorting you?


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

micawber said:


> Perhaps it would pay to be crazier than the person extorting you?


One of my cousins actually _did_ go to jail for a bit because he caught his wife cheating with OM. He beat the crap out of OM and drug is sorry ash into the swamp and strung him up and left him. No lie. The OM managed to free himself and call the cops.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Curious - why are you asking this question? Have you experienced it or someone close/near/dear to you is/has?


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## micawber (Oct 8, 2014)

Jellybeans said:


> Curious - why are you asking this question? Have you experienced it or someone close/near/dear to you is/has?


Nothing like that. As I stated in the original post, a friend (guy) and I were discussing the "cons" of cheating and we never considered this as a possible outcome. That got me wondering how common it is. Perhaps, while possible, it doesn't appear to be very common, at least from the feedback I've seen here.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I think it's likely that revenge is far more common than extortion (like that horror story Whatslove recounted).

I haven't posted at Loveshack in a while, but when I did, and could stomach doing so, I'd sometimes peruse the OW board. A question that popped up all the time from spurned OWs was whether or not they should tell the OM's wife. 

BTW, I always told them "yes".


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Here's an extortion story.... crazy people doing crazy stuff.

Woman accused of threatening to expose affair found guilty of extortion - Sun Sentinel


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## x598 (Nov 14, 2012)

my wife had an affair. turns out, the guy was a rich big shot CEO....believe me i thought long and hard about blowing up his world at work as my XW was a vendor to the company. 

In the end I didn't...only because I knew his wife and children and she was always very cordial to me. I figured he would most likely loose his job, and probaby my XW's as well, and his wife even acknowledged this....i didn't feel the need to bring any more damage, only for her sake and the scumbags children's sake. took the high road i guess.

to my great satisfaction, i found out 4 or 5 months later he was no longer employed there. i would like to think the affair was a factor.


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## feeling lost (Oct 17, 2009)

It is called Karma!


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