# What's the right way to say it?



## Pepper (Mar 23, 2010)

This is about a lady who is a friend of mine. We work in the same town and, on occasion, we have to work together on business projects. She is very nice and I enjoy her friendship.

Well, yesterday she let me know that she's interested in me romantically. The problem is that she's married and I am going through a divorce. I don't even want to think about seeing someone new right now, nor do I want to get involved in an EA or a PA, or all of the trouble that comes with it. I do find her attractive and she's lot of fun to be around. I would love to hang out with her from time to time, as friends, but that's just not possible the way things are.

Do you ladies have any advice on how I can get this across to her while keeping our friendship and her dignity intact?


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## RatherSharp (May 15, 2010)

Honesty is always the key my freind. She will defiantely rspect you for it and be glad that she has such a person to value you all's freindship the way you do. Just explain it how you did here. She will understand,. Good Luck.


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## hurtwife (May 21, 2010)

I agree, honesty is the key. Yeah sure, it may hurt her hearing your not interested romantically in her. But it is best you tell her sooner rather than later. Good Luck


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## momof6girls (Jan 11, 2010)

totally agree she (even though married) opened up to you and now ball in your court let her know you enjoy working with her but that is all your willing to do at this point.

she will either ok with and go back to life as it was or be hurt and cut you short but either way your mind will be clean.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

First of all, I'm glad you have made the decision to not see a married woman.......that just is so painful for everyone when it's discovered and they always are found out eventually....
Tell her you just don't believe in that kind of relationship and you really are interested in just being alone for a while and then you will find someone for yourself that is available to you for a real relationship......
Sometimes that kind of friendship is not a good thing anyway, do you think her husband would feel good about his wife enjoying a night out with another man.....
Don't hurt anyone else.....that's your job as a good guy........
You know the pain of divorce yourself.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I don't think there's any way to get the message across without it being painful for her. Anything less than total, brutal honesty will leave her hoping, or possibly confused, or in a position to delude herself into thinking you didn't mean it or that what you really meant was X. I think you just need to sit down and bluntly tell her that you don't want to have an affair with a married woman, you don't want a relationship in general right now, and that when you do decide you're ready to move on, it will be with someone who will be as available as you are at that point in time. Yes, it will hurt her. But I honestly don't see any way around that.


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## spartan (Jun 8, 2010)

tell her that you are quite flattered by her feelings, however, YOU are not in a position to get into a relationship as your mind is still dealing with your divorce.

you acknowledge her feelings in a positive way, yet let her down easy by rejecting her with an explanation that you are not in a position to act on her feelings.


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## jhef83 (Jun 7, 2010)

I know I'm in the ladies room but getting involved with a married woman is never a good idea.


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## dsfg_lover_001 (Jul 4, 2010)

Well if you don`t want a relationship more than friendship is just tell her that.Don`t be scare to lose her as friend,coz you still wanna a genuine friend not a awkward friendship.If she is not agree the things you want to do ,why waste your time on this.anyway thanks for sharing.


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