# when and how do you tell family you're having a baby?



## collegeguy1 (Aug 11, 2011)

well my gf's nearly 11 weeks now. She's keeping and I plan to be there for her. My family doesn't like that she lives with me. That she's poor. That she is of white and spanish descent not black. She's outspoken and they see it not being humble. My family has money and it seems to them she's using me instead of real true love as how I see it. I don't know when to tell them that orhow.i dontwant them to tryandhave her leave before ican handlethat. At the same if I wait late that will cause them so much to deal in lesstime. Any advice on how to deal with this?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Time to be a man! Just say it and be proud. This is your child. She is your girlfriend.

Man up!  I saw that nicely...but you are the father now.


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## 4sure (Aug 8, 2010)

The news won't be a shocker to your family. The sooner the better. Hey mom you're gonna be a grandma.

Best wishes to you, gf, and baby.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

When the kid needs college money or before.


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## Sameold (Aug 11, 2011)

Wait until she's past three months. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester, and do you two really want to explain to the relatives if that happens after all the other drama you're going to get from them? We didn't tell our families until past the three month mark with any of ours, and our situation is much better than yours in regards to relatives--by the time number 1 was on the way both sets of parents were, at least, resigned to the situation, and mine had come around to thinking he wasn't half bad. If they ask why, later, you didn't tell them sooner, you tell them exactly that: that most miscarriages happen in the first trimester. That's only a couple weeks away anyway, and it's not going to hurt their coping abilities.
You could also point out to the family that this is a brilliant genetic strategy on your part: any nasty recessive genes (sickle cell?) you might carry your girlfriend will absolutely not carry, and vice versa. It may also help if you know how you're going to handle things, so when they say something like "You aren't getting any money from us," you can reply with "What on earth makes you think I need any?"
As far as how you tell them, if there's one relative who is more likely to be on your side, tell them first and see if they have advice on how to break the news to everyone else. Maybe that relative will want to be the one to tell everyone else anyway: my mom was thrilled to get to tell her siblings about her first grandbaby.


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