# Who cooks?



## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

Easy thread, just was curious! 

I'm the primary cook in my household; if left to his own devices, my husband would make us microwave burritos or mac n cheese every night. He claims I'm picky with all my different recipes, I say I just prefer variety 

I also am the one that does grocery shopping.

How about you? In your household, is the husband the primary cook, or the wife? Do you two spread the cooking evenly? Does the person who does the cooking do the grocery shopping as well?


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

I didn't vote because there isn't really an option. We don't 'distribute' it, we just do it together without assigning tasks to anyone specific. We sit down once a month or so and, after taking an inventory of our deep freeze, we plan out the meals for the month, making up a grocery list at the same time. We do the shopping together 99% of the time. Then whoever gets home first starts the meal, we finish cooking it together, then we clean it up together, or if one of us has to run out the door the other one cleans it up. Or if one of us feels lazy, the other just does the cooking and/or cleaning.

Our meal plan is pretty versatile - if we want a specific recipe we put the book and page number on the meal plan, but usually it's just stuff like 'chicken breasts'. Then whoever starts the meal can choose how they want them done


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

I do all of the shopping, and most of the cooking. H does most of the grilling.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

If I didn't work more than full-time, I'd cook almost all the meals. There were periods in the past when that was true. At the moment I do more of the experimental cooking, plus dishes for which she hasn't the sixth sense for (yet) and all of the grilling.


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## julianne (Sep 18, 2013)

Me. 100% of the time. Unless he is making his favorite pasta.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I enjoy cooking. I grow most of our food and cook from scratch.
But I also work from home...so have the luxury of time. 

Dinner is usually well under way when he walks in the door at night. I know this one of his 'little life joys'. We have a kiss and a cuddle then he asks about dinner and has a nosey in the oven/under pot lids.....every night!

Hubby usually does shopping on his way home from work and he cooks on the weekends. He likes to cook as well.... although pretty much everything he cooks gets wrapped in bacon so you have to love bacon to appreciate his cooking. 

Whoever isn't cooking tends to sit on a stool at the kitchen bench and chat and drink a ginger beer or wine and sometimes help the cook.

We also do a lot of cooking/baking/preserving/making grog etc... together rather than watching TV in the evenings. 

Food and cooking are a big part of our lives...


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## northernlights (Sep 23, 2012)

I do all the grocery shopping and all of the cooking. Plus all the cleaning. And I work full-time.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

I (the H) do the cooking and grocery shopping. This started out years ago as a sensible way of dealing with our work schedules, but I found that I liked it and am good at it. In exchange I don't go near the vacuum or the toilet bowl brush. A dust rag? What's that?


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

waiwera said:


> I enjoy cooking. I grow most of our food and cook from scratch.
> But I also work from home...so have the luxury of time.
> 
> Dinner is usually well under way when he walks in the door at night. I know this one of his 'little life joys'. We have a kiss and a cuddle then he asks about dinner and has a nosey in the oven/under pot lids.....every night!
> ...


Weiweva, 

That's very impressive. Grow your own vegetables. Then what you eat is sure healthy because no pesticides. We are usually concerned with pesticides when we buy vegetables.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

I do most of the cooking and most of the shopping. When my husband is free, we go shopping together and he carries things for me. My husband cooks when he wants to eat a western meal. It's interesting, he has no problem cooking, but not Chinese cooking. 

It's cheap eating out here, but we still prefer cooking at home. It may not be cheaper for us to cook at home, but much healthier and more delicious.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

My wife is a SAHM and our kids are pretty much grown up. I don't feel bad for answering that she does most all the cooking and shopping.

I do most of the barbecuing although she has started doing some of that this year. Often she has everything ready when I get home from work.

When we are getting along, I will help her with it. Lately we haven't been getting along very well. Seems like the more I do for her, the less she does for me, so I quit being her helper.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

greenpearl said:


> Weiweva,
> 
> That's very impressive. Grow your own vegetables. Then what you eat is sure healthy because no pesticides. We are usually concerned with pesticides when we buy vegetables.


Yes I grow veges/fruit/herbs/flowers/eggs for local farmers markets.
I grow organically using Permaculture principles but I'm not certified organic.

Yes environmental chemicals worry me too. I rear small animals to eat and barter with and I make our cleaning and skin care products as well for that reason. We live fairly clean lives compared to many in the western world I'm sure.

Kids call me a hippy


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

I do all the cooking. My H was so surprise when we married (I was 20) that I could cook so good. I really just started too learn when I got engage but it came pretty naturally to me. I do the grocery shopping for the most part but if I ask him to go with me he will. I don't like for him to grocery shop alone. He will get the cheapest of everything on the list, but x-brand is not always the best buy. 

My H does all the grilling.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

It's cultural thing at my home, I do the cooking and the shopping.

(no, I'm not thrilled to do it, just raised to)


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

I couldn't keep STBX away from the kitchen even if I wanted to.

*prepares to be slapped*


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I do most of the cooking because I love to cook and the shopping for groceries. I think it's cultural. 
Most Caribbean men were taught how to cook from an early age by their mothers. If a 
[ Caribbean ] man cannot cook , women tend to view him as a " spoiled child" , doesn't know his way around women and he might have trouble in getting a mate, because he can't take care of himself.

Although in most households women do the cooking, it's not unusual to see men in the kitchen.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

waiwera said:


> I enjoy cooking. I grow most of our food and cook from scratch.
> But I also work from home...so have the luxury of time.
> 
> Dinner is usually well under way when he walks in the door at night. I know this one of his 'little life joys'. We have a kiss and a cuddle then he asks about dinner and has a nosey in the oven/under pot lids.....every night!
> ...


Sounds like our home and the average home in the Caribbean.
Must be a " tropical" thing.


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## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

I do the shopping, the cooking, and the cleaning up after. 
If left to his own devices, I'm not sure my partner would even eat... Or if he did, it's be Burger King every day.


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## kag123 (Feb 6, 2012)

I have always done all of the cooking and baking, because I very much enjoy doing it. Its probably a pitfall because whenever I have free time (which is rarely, thankfully) I will be in the kitchen whipping something up. 

Its not exactly a cheap hobby and we dont eat cheaply. We do our grocery shopping together even though I would prefer to go alone because I need H to see what I buy and the costs or else he starts flipping over how much money it is. 

H can cook a basic meal, we joke and call it bachelor chow because he lived on his own for 4 years and its very simple things he lived off of then because he couldnt afford to eat out every meal. So things like pasta and canned sauce, canned soups, grilled cheese, hot dogs. When I am not home he will make sure he and the kids are fed but other than that I dont ask him to help because I have always enjoyed putting a nice meal on the table for the family. 

We have started growing our own veggies over the last two years. Thats H's thing. I have a brown thumb. We dont have the land to make it into a big deal so we choose carefully what we grow. I am still learning how to deal with getting a lot of one thing and having to figure out how to make the best of it. I get tired of eating the same thing all the time.


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

Philat said:


> I (the H) do the cooking and grocery shopping. This started out years ago as a sensible way of dealing with our work schedules, but I found that I liked it and am good at it. In exchange I don't go near the vacuum or the toilet bowl brush. A dust rag? What's that?


Lucky you! You mean she's not soooo busy and stressed by child-rearing that there aren't days work-at-home days when you cook all the meals and clean the house while the rest of the family hits up the playgrounds?


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## moco82 (Jul 16, 2012)

kag123 said:


> H can cook a basic meal, we joke and call it bachelor chow because he lived on his own for 4 years and its very simple things he lived off of then because he couldnt afford to eat out every meal.


You would think this experience would have prodded him to experiment and discover hidden talents. My love for cooking certainly blossomed when I got tried of bland meals and couldn't afford to buy pre-made or restaurant meals all the time.


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## Thewife (Sep 3, 2007)

Caribbean Man said:


> I do most of the cooking because I love to cook and the shopping for groceries. I think it's cultural.
> Most Caribbean men were taught how to cook from an early age by their mothers. If a
> [ Caribbean ] man cannot cook , women tend to view him as a " spoiled child" , doesn't know his way around women and he might have trouble in getting a mate, because he can't take care of himself.
> 
> Although in most households women do the cooking, it's not unusual to see men in the kitchen.


Its the opposite in our culture

I didn't vote because we do it based on who has more time at hand. When he wasn't working for a period of time he did both the shopping and cooking and I will do the same when I am not working. If both us are working then we shop together but I cook he cleans or we just eat outside. We both love cooking BTW


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## reesespieces (Aug 3, 2009)

I do most, if not all of the cooking. I actually prefer to since I make food from scratch, and I am able to cook in a way that includes a lot of variety in the food. I also cook ethnic food with some variety.


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## MyHappyPlace (Aug 11, 2013)

My H does most of the shopping because I HATE shopping, with a passion! But I did most of the cooking. He would get into moods where he would bake like crazy for a few weeks, but I was still making the meals. This was in part due to him working evenings so he wasn't home anyway... Now his schedule is changed so he's home in the evenings, but we don't have a home to cook in.  
This whole eating out every night thing is awful! I think the novelty wore out after the first week or so. BUT, we should be back home in roughly 8 weeks and it will be a hard time getting me out of our newly remodeled kitchen! Never thought I would miss cooking as much as I do.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

waiwera said:


> Yes I grow veges/fruit/herbs/flowers/eggs for local farmers markets.
> I grow organically using Permaculture principles but I'm not certified organic.
> 
> Yes environmental chemicals worry me too. I rear small animals to eat and barter with and I make our cleaning and skin care products as well for that reason. We live fairly clean lives compared to many in the western world I'm sure.
> ...




My in-laws are retired farmers. They have moved to the city where my sister-in-law lives. My mother-in-law used to have a garden, she used to grow her own vegetables. She misses having a garden. She and my sister-in-law (her daughter) go to their local farmers market to buy vegetables. She says vegetables from the farmers market are much better than what they can buy at the supermarket.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

LoveAtDaisys said:


> Easy thread, just was curious!
> 
> I'm the primary cook in my household; if left to his own devices, my husband would make us microwave burritos or mac n cheese every night. He claims I'm picky with all my different recipes, I say I just prefer variety
> 
> ...


We both shop for the food, but I do the majority of the shopping. He notices when we're running out of something midweek and he'll buy things to replenish the dwindling supplies.

The cooking duties are evenly split. Tonight he made dinner. He's a pretty good cook. He made duck tonight! He can even make desserts like custards. The previous night I made dinner. It's not a set schedule. It's who gets home first or sometimes it's who feels like cooking that evening. 

We both also take turns doing the dishes and cleaning up.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

I do the vast majority of the cooking. I enjoy it and I find it relaxes me. I also enjoy doing something for my wife.

When I am not around she will rarely 'cook' just something simple like baked beans on toast.

I also do quite a lot of the shopping although this is probably split 50/50.


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## imtamnew (May 13, 2013)

I shop, she cooks.

I usually cook on weekends to give her some respite from the kitchen. She is way better than me at cooking. I am way better at shopping than her.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

I shop and cook, he brings home the bacon.

I still like his child like ways. I'm in the hospital this week for major surgery. He keeps promising that the flat will be in SOME order when I get back. I can practically see Homer Simpson when he does this routine. :rofl:

At least one can exist reasonably healthy on Marks & Spencer prepared food.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

My husband enjoys cooking. We met young. One of our initial dates, he invited me over to cook dinner for me and I was impressed! and pretty much since then, he's kept cooking for us. Granted it might have stemmed from necessity of life with me. But I remain impressed!

He takes care with cooking. He likes sourcing the ingredients, getting to know the local suppliers/farmers markets, kind of the whole ritual involved, including sharing the love of the meal. Meanwhile, I like to eat tasty food!

We have previously divided the week to take turns with cooking. It depends on schedules. I was getting home about 7pm on average and by that time, he'd already started cooking. I'll be home earlier now, so being home at a similar time, we'll be preparing more meals together. 

We introduced setting time on the weekend to make a meal together. Cooking is fast becoming one of my favorite things with him. Just as he likes to consider the ingredients and such, I like to consider the music that's playing in the background. The other night we made pizzas to Aretha Franklin. It's just a nice thing! Also while cooking, we either chat about our day or flirt like crazy.

Grocery shopping he does more of. Usually we work it out that he goes to the store while I clean the house so that when we're next together, the domestic stuff is sorted. We like to go to the markets together on the weekend though. Again, it's just a nice thing to do.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> I do most of the cooking because I love to cook and the shopping for groceries. I think it's cultural.
> Most Caribbean men were taught how to cook from an early age by their mothers. If a
> [ Caribbean ] man cannot cook , women tend to view him as a " spoiled child" , doesn't know his way around women and he might have trouble in getting a mate, because he can't take care of himself.
> 
> Although in most households women do the cooking, it's not unusual to see men in the kitchen.


CM, somewhere down the line perhaps I have Caribbean roots, because I've felt like this for as long as I can remember! I love cooking, but I've always admired a man who can cook and found those who proudly state "I can't boil an egg!" a little juvenile...

When I bought my first car, one of the first things I did was practice taking the wheels off and learned how to change the spark plugs. I even fixed a leaky radiator once (in an emergency) using porridge oats!

Self-sufficiency is a must for me


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> CM, somewhere down the line perhaps I have Caribbean roots, because I've felt like this for as long as I can remember! I love cooking, but I've always admired a man who can cook and found those who proudly state "I can't boil an egg!" a little juvenile...
> 
> When I bought my first car, one of the first things I did was practice taking the wheels off and learned how to change the spark plugs.* I even fixed a leaky radiator once (in an emergency) using porridge oats!*
> 
> Self-sufficiency is a must for me


Remind me to never come round for breakfast at your place.


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## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

_Lucky you! You mean she's not soooo busy and stressed by child-rearing that there aren't days work-at-home days when you cook all the meals and clean the house while the rest of the family hits up the playgrounds? _

Playgrounds.... child-rearing.... Let's see.... My children are 28, 26 and 23. And all launched. So, no, there aren't such days....


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> Remind me to never come round for breakfast at your place.


Wish, the car smelled of porridge for weeks afterwards, but it sealed the radiator until I got it fixed!


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## ScubaSteve61 (Mar 20, 2012)

I do 95% of the shopping and 100% of the cooking.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

In my house I do most of the cooking, not that my wife can't she can i just LOVE cooking. i believe if i wasn't in my current career i would be a chef! My favorite dish is deep dish lasagna with fresh picked greens. I picked up cooking from my mother, she would always tell me "you do not want to depend on a woman to cook for you, get in the kitchen and create something for yourself".


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## Joburg (Jan 16, 2013)

I spend a lot of time living out in the sticks, so a lot of cooking is done on open fire, yip, like the Flintstones. The kitchen is a very social family place and everyone plays a part in preparing the food. I do almost all the cooking and baking and the selection of ingredients and spices. 

Now WW is long gone and is just a distant X, got a great new GF and nothing has changed in my kitchen besides some new faces and more cheerful banter again. I love social cooking for visiting friends, and when back in the city, only the fire is replaced by a gas stove.

Here some small bread baked on open coals.


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

Its funny, we just had a discussion about this around the dinner table. The kids (13 and 15) asked Dad why he never cooks. His answer was "unless you want Lasagne every night, you mom cooks" Yep, he's not a chef and he doesn't play one on TV. 

When I've had to go out of town for work, my 13DD cooks mostly or 15DS. They both do quite well. I have to leave Thurs for the rest of the week, and leaving pulled pork in the crock pot before I depart...


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

I guess I'm the anomaly. I do all the cooking at home. My wife can only cook like a newlywed after 20+ years. It's just not a skill she possesses. And she hasn't worked in 15 years.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I do all the shopping, cooking and cleanup. My 18 year old helps sometimes. 

To be honest, I really don't like to cook. I like to bake though. I'm not even interested in eating dinner but I eat it because I make it. I could probably have a piece of fruit and be fine.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

When we cook at home I mostly choose what we'll have and start it, but H always offers to help and does anything that I ask him to do. We clean up together. We grocery shop together. Truth be told though we eat out most of the time. It's almost always just the two of us, and we both work full time plus, so we're usually tired and just feel like eating out or bringing home takeout.


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## reesespieces (Aug 3, 2009)

Based on what I'm reading, I think it's time I start going grocery shopping with DH.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I cook,he cleans up,and we do the shopping together. It's more fun that way.
We go to the local farmer's market to get our meat and produce then we go to the grocery store for the rest.

Thinking about it,our Saturday mornings spent at the market together is something I look forward to doing with him every week


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

Let's see...

I do 90% of the cooking and my wife always offers to clean up.
FYI...I'm a great chef :smthumbup:

We both do the cleaning...split 50/50. Sometimes she likes to go out with friends and I offer to clean the whole house so when she gets home it's clean as a whistle.

We both dread going food shopping so we suffer through it together and we make the best of it. 

I'd say with the exception of the food shopping we do everything else equally.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

I do about 50% of the cooking, little more than 50% of the shopping, and 100% of the cleaning. I make simple meals and the wife makes things very involved.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Shopping is split based on who has free time when the need hits. I tend to do "combat shopping." Get in get what is needed and get out. Wife tends to take a really long time and make a big haul.

I do breakfasts. She's indifferent to breakfast and I love it, so I do it every morning.

She probably does 1/2 of the dinners, I do maybe 1/4, and we do about 1/4 together.


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## ocotillo (Oct 17, 2011)

The kitchen is (mostly) mine - From the two handed cleaver to the Viking stove....


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## essy (Oct 21, 2013)

I guess it depends...
If both work,.. there is no 'who does what' it just naturally comes...
whoever gets home first would want to get the dinner started...
after dinner we pack our lunch together 

Breakfast is self serve


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