# Another excuse for why poeple say there not responsible for cheating.



## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Are we BORN to cheat? Scientists discover gene that suggests we inherit adultery from our parents | Daily Mail Online

While they argue its in there genes. I personally thing its just another excuse for people to not be responsible for there own actions.


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## nikoled (Mar 12, 2014)

Clay2013 said:


> Are we BORN to cheat? Scientists discover gene that suggests we inherit adultery from our parents | Daily Mail Online
> 
> While they argue its in there genes. I personally thing its just another excuse for people to not be responsible for there own actions.


Dumb! But I will admit that during counseling immediately following my husband's affair his own dad's infidelity did come up. I don't know if him knowing that his dad, who is basically a good guy, had an affair long ago and was able to move past it and have a good relationship with his mom helped him to rationalize that he could play that game too? I'll have to ask him about that. It's a good question.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

What ever one has to do to think lying is ok then go for it. At the end of the day "infidelity" is just a fancy word for lying.

I guess if some dumb @ss scientists wants to find an excuse for lying I guess they can find any excuse for bad character like beating your old lady, taking other peoples stuff, or blowing sh1t up.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Most likely the gene has something to do with a lack of impulse control. People with a lack of impulse control do a lot of things that we consider wrong... lying, stealing, cheating, and a lot of very stupid stuff.

So I'll bet that these folks do a lot more wrong than cheating.

Every one of us is a mixture of nature and nurture. Most people (if not all) have to learn to overcome some aspects of their natural tendencies.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

The very same "scientists" will spend millions in order to finally determine that sex is indeed hereditary...

If your parents didn't have it, chances are you won't either.


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## Forest (Mar 29, 2014)

I inherited a train robbery gene, but have kept it in check pretty well.


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## 101Abn (Jan 15, 2014)

Just one more excuse by the so called experts to justify bad behavior.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

Is anyone responsible for their actions or inactions anymore?


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

There are plenty of people with impulse control issues that don't cheat. But add in selfishness and entitlement...


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

sometimes i feel like genetics is just another word for "not my fault".


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

A friend of mine in college had a hereditary heart condition. No males in on his father's side of the family had ever lived past the age of 35. It was pretty daunting. Rather than smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day and say to hell with life. He became a vegetarian and a marathon runner. He turned 56 last month. 
You can live the life you choose.


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## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

On my in-laws side, my mother in law cheated, my wife cheated, her brother cheated , my sister in law cheated. The only sibling that did not cheat, only the oldest step brother who did(has) not cheat. 

So, I find that those kind of "studies" are interesting, I think it may have more to do with upbringing, and the environment.


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## NextTimeAround (Dec 15, 2011)

EleGirl said:


> Most likely the gene has something to do with a lack of impulse control. People with a lack of impulse control do a lot of things that we consider wrong... lying, stealing, cheating, and a lot of very stupid stuff.
> 
> So I'll bet that these folks do a lot more wrong than cheating.
> 
> Every one of us is a mixture of nature and nurture. Most people (if not all) have to learn to overcome some aspects of their natural tendencies.


I felt as if I had a lack of impulse control as well.

And then I read all these business books as well as listened to all these important people in my life, like my parents, and other mentors of sorts.....

that said that it was ok to tell the truth. That, in fact, you would be lauded for the telling the truth, whatever it is....


uh, yeah, right.....

What was the question again? .......


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

IMHO, an explanation is not a justification and this type of explanation leaves no remedy or cure.


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## GROUNDPOUNDER (Mar 8, 2013)

Yeah, and I'm fat because I have a glandular condition. That and my refrigerator keeps cutting me off, every time I try to go to the room with my workout equipment in it.

Regardless of someones inherent genes, or their up bringing, when they committed to a monogamous relationship, they knew what it meant.

When they first chose to cheat, they new what it meant. If they continue to cheat, they know what it means.

I feel that the whole way of being monogamous and having one mate for the rest of your life is dying.

It's been trampled under the foot of emailing, IM'ing, texting, sexting, and video chatting. There are TV series and movies that celebrate being unfaithful. Too many GNO's/BNO's, office flirting and romances to boot.

We've razed a generation that want's it all, regardless of the risk, or the cost. SO/Spouses having unprotected sex with AP's knowing that there are a half a dozen STDs out there that could kill them and there SO/spouse. But they do it anyway.

They've grown up seeing it all around them. They've become unsensitized to it. They feel that it's a part of every day life. So when they end up doing it they don't hear that voice that tells them they shouldn't. Their voice only speaks to them about what to do at not getting caught.


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

nikoled said:


> Dumb! But I will admit that during counseling immediately following my husband's affair his own dad's infidelity did come up. I don't know if him knowing that his dad, who is basically a good guy, had an affair long ago and was able to move past it and have a good relationship with his mom helped him to rationalize that he could play that game too? I'll have to ask him about that. It's a good question.


I had boyfriend whose mother was the other woman. He was the child conceived of that relationship. His father did not divorce his wife, but continued his affair until his death. He had sons on his marriage as well. My boyfriend said that his father was a very good father. He too has a good relationship with his mother.

My boyfriend cheated and did not think that there is anything wrong with it. He even told me about his crushes and other relationship. I believe that it is the environment that the cheater is grown accustomed to. I decided that he wasn't for me. Lucky escape for me as I'm not a cheater and my parents were not cheaters. My parents were married for 63 years and neither cheated.


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Cheating is a choice. Just like being in a relationship is a choice. There is no excuse period. We are all responsible for what we do in this world anything short of that is just garbage. 

All you can do in this world is try your best to identify those people get keep them out of your life. 

You can't help them and you can't save them. They can only help themselves when they are really ready to make that change in there lives.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

When I have looked at the people I know in life and as a mod at another board on infidelity I can state that there as many people who have betrayed that had no reason to do so and many who had every reason to do so and did not.

What does that tell me?


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## Clay2013 (Oct 30, 2013)

Another horrible example of cheating and the negative consequences they bring. 

Girl's frantic 999 call as father kills cheating wife | Daily Mail Online


I feel so bad for those children. 

I bet the mother never imagined those three months of cheating would be the last she would ever spend with her children. 

Truly Sad

Clay


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Clay2013 said:


> Another horrible example of cheating and the negative consequences they bring.
> 
> Girl's frantic 999 call as father kills cheating wife | Daily Mail Online
> 
> ...


She loved her children very much. Well, not enough, it would seem.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> When I have looked at the people I know in life and as a mod at another board on infidelity I can state that there as many people who have betrayed that had no reason to do so and many who had every reason to do so and did not.
> 
> What does that tell me?


That different people react differently?


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## 3putt (Dec 3, 2012)

Clay2013 said:


> Another horrible example of cheating and the negative consequences they bring.
> 
> Girl's frantic 999 call as father kills cheating wife | Daily Mail Online
> 
> ...


Good Lord


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## clipclop2 (Aug 16, 2013)

Wow. You have to live your children more than your rage.

I get the anger. But your kids... They are going to suffer because of two horrible decisions.


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## BrightEyes86 (Nov 1, 2014)

People can obviously be genetically predisposed to lots of things. Obesity, alcoholism, cancer; etc. I guess it's not a far cry to say that cheating could be another thing. I cheated once, and so have others on my biological father's side of the family. My father's father had an affair with a 19 year old girl (he was in his 30's) and got her pregnant. Gram still stuck by him. I'm not saying it's an excuse or in any way justifies what I did, it's just another statistic. Alcoholism also runs in my family, and I've worked very hard not to become an alcoholic and destroy my liver, although I do see the signs sometimes. I think with an issue like either of these, it comes down to self-control.

Perhaps as someone else suggested the gene is linked with self-control. I have a hard time controlling myself around certain types of alcohol (and thus my pants), and therefore I now avoid certain types of alcohol and company. You can make choices that go against what your biology says about you. If you have issues with hard liquor, avoid hard liquor. If you have issues with other drugs, avoid situations where other drugs are present. If you have issues losing weight, avoid pastries. I have a pretty extensive history of substance abuse on that side of the family, one cousin is in jail right now for drugs. I have vowed to myself never to try hard drugs like cocaine or heroin because I'm terrified I will like it. On my mother's side I'm genetically predisposed to breast cancer, so I do things to try to reduce the risk. I don't use antiperspirants, I wear a bra for as few hours a day as I can get away with, I go for regular exams.

While I'm sure there are some out there who will use a study like this as an excuse, I recognize that it's still a choice to give in to temptation. If I ran around smoking like a chimney and eating nothing but junk food, could I blame just my genetics for being a fat lung cancer sufferer with a terrible complexion? Of course not. I would have made a choice to ignore my genetic predispositions and give in to temptation anyway. Same can be said of this study. Sure, you might be genetically predisposed to cheat, but it's not an excuse. Obese people can lose weight, alcoholics and drug addicts can become sober, and cheaters can better themselves too. It's all about recognizing your weak points and doing what you can to guard against it with any of these issues. Some things (like breast cancer) are obviously more physical than mental, but if I didn't go for regular exams I'd be just as at fault as an alcoholic who chose to work in a liquor store. So if science proves that cheating is genetic, it just gives people another tool to leverage to better themselves. And those out there who would use it as an excuse are the same type of person who would blame others for their heroin addiction instead of taking ownership.


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