# Just can't get it right



## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

Sex is pretty much the only problem in our marriage. Over the years *I* have taken most of the blame but when I stop to think about it, it isn't even completely my fault.
Last time we had a blow up was around a year ago, he confessed he was "bored" with our sex life so of course I was the one to change it up. Did stuff I don't like just to make him happy. There were a few things that we talked about that I just didn't want any part of. They made me feel gross and immediately killed my mood. He got pissy over it but still insisted. I'm not crazy about anal but it was something new so sure I will do it to make you happy, no problem. Instead of appreciating my efforts he uses them to manipulate me. I can only take anal in small doses so in the middle of it he'll say "if you let me (insert thing I hate and makes me miserable)__ then I will be done quicker". If I say no he'll get mad so I suck it up and just not enjoy it.

Nothing I ever do is good enough. I've done whatever he wants but not ONCE has he put in any effort in what I want. He would never put the effort in that I do.

Porn is a huge problem between us too. It didn't bother me much before but we are having sex 1-2 times a month and he is viewing porn almost nightly. If not on the computer it is on his phone. Just last night he was going to bed and I told him I had planned to come up (he goes to bed a lot earlier than I do because of work) and he said "no, I have a game to watch). I was even fine with that but when I did go to bed he was already sleeping and of course there was a porn opened up right on his phone. He then woke up and decided it needed to finish watching the game. It was past 1 AM and he needs to be up by 4 to leave for work. He can't spare 20 minutes for me but sure as hell can spend the next day exhausted for a game.

Porn is replacing sex. I am frustrated and done trying. He makes the problems and I try like hell to fix them, only this time I've got nothing left. He can have his porn and slowly I am starting to just not care. Maybe we're just not compatible.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

Also, he watches so much porn and masturbates so much that a lot of times he loses his erection during sex. He says it is because he's getting older. Um, you're 33 and keep it up just fine for your computer.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Mrs.K said:


> Sex is pretty much the only problem in our marriage. Over the years *I* have taken most of the blame but when I stop to think about it, it isn't even completely my fault.
> Last time we had a blow up was around a year ago, he confessed he was "bored" with our sex life so of course I was the one to change it up. Did stuff I don't like just to make him happy. There were a few things that we talked about that I just didn't want any part of. They made me feel gross and immediately killed my mood. He got pissy over it but still insisted. I'm not crazy about anal but it was something new so sure I will do it to make you happy, no problem. Instead of appreciating my efforts he uses them to manipulate me. I can only take anal in small doses so in the middle of it he'll say "if you let me (insert thing I hate and makes me miserable)__ then I will be done quicker". If I say no he'll get mad so I suck it up and just not enjoy it.
> 
> Nothing I ever do is good enough. I've done whatever he wants but not ONCE has he put in any effort in what I want. He would never put the effort in that I do.
> ...


Its the overall controlling attitude that you just might be able to deal with. If you both know that attitude is a problem, and he's going to be like that - you may just have to go on up the road. I'm sure you would feel better for someone who is more considerate of your likes and dislikes and isn't as controlling.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

So sorry...this type of story is sad. No advice from me, just support.


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> So sorry...this type of story is sad. No advice from me, just support.


Me too. And hugs.


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## john_lord_b3 (Jan 11, 2013)

What an ingrate, insensitive husband! How could anybody chooses unreal porn over real-life unselfish wife is beyond me.. *triple facepalm*


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## Lonely&frustrated (Jan 27, 2013)

On the silly side, I suggest you go to your local sex store grab you some toys. Then build up the confidence to do this.....while he's asleep you start playing with yourself, and make it noticeably enjoyable, he WILL wake! When he wants to join you, you tell him, nope, I'm taking care of myself since you can't!!!


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## BradWesley (May 24, 2013)

Sorry that you are married to such a self-centered, insensitive jerk.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Your hubby would rather have sex over a computer screen than a loving wife, who even tries anal among other things? He's an idiot and doesn't know what he's missing until it's too late and gone.

He has a porn addiction and needs helps. Marriage counseling and therapy for sure.

You sound like you have a healthy sexual appetite and he is very HD and addicted to porn.

You have met him half way and now the rest he has to do.

You aren't the issue, he is.


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## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

This does not sound like any kind of expression of love. I would have to find a counselor, there is no way I could exist like that. Sex shouldn't be about manipulation and selfishness. If my husband wasn't willing to change his attitude I would have to leave.That kind of behavior would eat away at my soul. It makes me very sad just to read that. Don't accept contempt and manipulation when you deserve love.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

I also think he has a porn addiction. He'll never admit it though. I will literally walk in the room and see what he's doing and he will deny it. These are all times BTW when he has the next day off and stays up late rather than coming to bed.

At this point he'd agree to marriage counseling but it would only be to shut me up.

Here starts the manipulation. He came home from work with flowers. Later after the kids go to bed he will start going on and on about what he does is "normal" and it has nothing to do with me. He'll act very interested in me for a few days and then things will go back to the way they are. It is a vicious cycle. Only this time I am not falling for it so I am not sure what will happen.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Giro flee said:


> This does not sound like any kind of expression of love. I would have to find a counselor, there is no way I could exist like that. Sex shouldn't be about manipulation and selfishness. If my husband wasn't willing to change his attitude I would have to leave.That kind of behavior would eat away at my soul. It makes me very sad just to read that. Don't accept contempt and manipulation when you deserve love.


It's self embellishment and self involvement... He is having ED problems with you because he's getting his sexual fill from porn.

Alot of people end up being self embellished and selfish. They figure you aren't going anywhere, and focus on what they want. It starts out the size of a small pea, and grows the the size of a very large snowball to build a snowman...

Most people don't realize what they had till it's gone.


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## FemBot (May 1, 2013)

Here is something you should look at....maybe even together. Maybe if he saw how porn hurts women (both in the industry and in relationships) he can stop the abuse for sexual satisfaction.

Welcome to AntiPornography.org - Your home for anti-pornography, anti-prostitution, and anti-sex trafficking education and activist resources


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

FemBot said:


> Here is something you should look at....maybe even together. Maybe if he saw how porn hurts women (both in the industry and in relationships) he can stop the abuse for sexual satisfaction.
> 
> Welcome to AntiPornography.org - Your home for anti-pornography, anti-prostitution, and anti-sex trafficking education and activist resources


I went through a porn phase in my younger years... Of course I didn't cut out sex in favour of it, but I was sneaking it in and imaginging some of the sex acts with my then wife...

I come to appreciate focusing on the one your with in my later years, all fantasies, lust, all directed to the main woman in your life. Of course it helps if she's supportive of your sexuality.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

Maybe he's coming around to understanding what he's doing. Last night he said he was all done with porn. Do I take him at his word? Of course not. But I didn't tell him I don't believe him, I don't want to discourage what he says he is doing.

I am curious to see if he'll stick to what he said. I do know one thing. He finally realized the damage that he's done.


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

Lonely&frustrated said:


> On the silly side, I suggest you go to your local sex store grab you some toys. Then build up the confidence to do this.....while he's asleep you start playing with yourself, and make it noticeably enjoyable, he WILL wake! When he wants to join you, you tell him, nope, I'm taking care of myself since you can't!!!


everyone getts a turn :rofl:


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## RFguy (Feb 17, 2013)

You are having sex 1-2 times per month? That's way too little for a man with a normal drive, it is just a hair's breadth form being classified as "sexless".

He probably wants a lot more and he's filling the blanks with porn. Plus, if you are not overly enthusiastic with sex it can become boring quickly.

I am at the same rut with my GF. I love having sex but the sex with her is too vanilla and spread too far apart for my liking. Porn now looks more appealing than the real thing with her.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

Mrs.K said:


> I also think he has a porn addiction. He'll never admit it though. I will literally walk in the room and see what he's doing and he will deny it. These are all times BTW when he has the next day off and stays up late rather than coming to bed.
> 
> At this point he'd agree to marriage counseling but it would only be to shut me up.
> 
> Here starts the manipulation. He came home from work with flowers. Later after the kids go to bed he will start going on and on about what he does is "normal" and it has nothing to do with me. He'll act very interested in me for a few days and then things will go back to the way they are. It is a vicious cycle. Only this time I am not falling for it so I am not sure what will happen.


You must insist on haing respect for you Insist that you get 100% of his sexual energy.After all The real thing is the real thing Porn is Bullsh!t fantacy Make him make you his addiction. Does he have size or performance issues ?


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## olwhatsisname (Dec 5, 2012)

Mrs.K said:


> Sex is pretty much the only problem in our marriage. Over the years *I* have taken most of the blame but when I stop to think about it, it isn't even completely my fault.
> Last time we had a blow up was around a year ago, he confessed he was "bored" with our sex life so of course I was the one to change it up. Did stuff I don't like just to make him happy. There were a few things that we talked about that I just didn't want any part of. They made me feel gross and immediately killed my mood. He got pissy over it but still insisted. I'm not crazy about anal but it was something new so sure I will do it to make you happy, no problem. Instead of appreciating my efforts he uses them to manipulate me. I can only take anal in small doses so in the middle of it he'll say "if you let me (insert thing I hate and makes me miserable)__ then I will be done quicker". If I say no he'll get mad so I suck it up and just not enjoy it.
> 
> Nothing I ever do is good enough. I've done whatever he wants but not ONCE has he put in any effort in what I want. He would never put the effort in that I do.
> ...


 set your bounderies, and set your limits.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

Mrs.K said:


> Sex is pretty much the only problem in our marriage.


It's a big enough problem on its own, although I've yet to see a marriage where everything else was great and sex was truly the only thing not humming along.



Mrs.K said:


> he confessed he was "bored" with our sex life so of course I was the one to change it up. Did stuff I don't like just to make him happy.


This might sound like I'm taking his side; I'm not. However, since you're posting and he's not, I can only give advice to you and what you can do in your situation. I wish I could directly advise your husband, Mrs. K, because his shift in attitude is really what needs to happen. However, perhaps something I say here will filter in to him. That said, the tone of your writing here clearly shows that you think this is his problem and that your attitude was fine. 



Mrs.K said:


> There were a few things that we talked about that I just didn't want any part of. They made me feel gross and immediately killed my mood. He got pissy over it but still insisted.


Yeah, this never works well. He wants to try something and you don't, but you give it a go reluctantly and neither of you are happy. 



Mrs.K said:


> Nothing I ever do is good enough. I've done whatever he wants but not ONCE has he put in any effort in what I want. He would never put the effort in that I do.


He should be putting in the effort, that's for sure.

The thing is, if you do stuff reluctantly it can be worse than not doing them at all. He not only wants you to do them, he wants you to be into it. If you're not into it, he feels like you're not into _him_ as your sexual partner. 

Of course, that doesn't mean that you have to enthusiastically accept everything he wants. That's not realistic. But I'll put a bit of advice about this below. 



Mrs.K said:


> Porn is a huge problem between us too.


Yeah, the porn is a problem. But one thing you need to know is that the chances are good that he yearns for enthusiastic sex with you. It's not about the positions or your looks, it's about whether or not he feels like you're into him sexually. 



Mrs.K said:


> Maybe we're just not compatible.


I think marriage compatibility is largely a modern myth. No couple is fully compatible. In fact, studies indicate that even happily married couples never resolve about 70% of their main issues--ever! The difference is that happily married couples still enjoy time together and sex together. Those two things always trump arguments.

Anyways, this is a complex issue, but I think there are things that can be done to help. 

Firstly, he is going about getting the sex he wants from you totally the wrong way. He is doing it like a guy and not like a girl. He is talking about what he wants and then expecting that you'll do it enthusiastically. That almost never happens. For one thing, when it's time to have sex, he should shut up and have sex! Guys, don't talk about it. And never complain about it. Save the discussion for another time. 

If you want a girl to be into something, you have to create an exciting and comfortable atmosphere for her. Logical discussion of your sexual needs is about as enticing for her as filing your taxes together. I am actually writing a whole book that touches on this topic, but I'm not going to summarize it here. However, I will offer this one point: he needs to seduce you. He needs to make you feel desired and desirable. He needs to make you feel safe, protected, and excited. Then, he needs to take control of the sexual scenario--but he needs to do this in a way that benefits you. Benevolent dominance, is what I call it. If he can do this correctly, he can get the sexual partner he craves, while you will enjoy every bit of it, too.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

MSP- thank you so much for your input. You gave some really good advice and lot's to think about.

A year ago is when he had said he was bored with our sex life and for the most part I was enthusiastic about changing it, it was pretty much ONE thing I didn't like doing and he let it put a dark cloud over every other effort I made. It was so frustrating after a while I just gave up. One thing that's always bothered me is that he comes to ME and says these things and puts it completely on ME to change things. 

He might be slowly realizing that it can't just be me working on this and I know I need to learn to not give up so easily.


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## eyuop (Apr 7, 2013)

Mrs.K said:


> MSP- thank you so much for your input. You gave some really good advice and lot's to think about.
> 
> A year ago is when he had said he was bored with our sex life and for the most part I was enthusiastic about changing it, it was pretty much ONE thing I didn't like doing and he let it put a dark cloud over every other effort I made. It was so frustrating after a while I just gave up. One thing that's always bothered me is that he comes to ME and says these things and puts it completely on ME to change things.
> 
> He might be slowly realizing that it can't just be me working on this and I know I need to learn to not give up so easily.


I agree with another poster, he isn't getting enough sex from you. Not nearly enough for his drive. And so he is going about everything the wrong way. You don't sound to me like you are into him sexually, either. How he is going about getting his sexual needs met has to do with complete frustration at the lack of intimacy he is getting. He wants intimate, passionate sex with you. When he watches porn, what he sees is women who are (acting) passionate and into their partner. He sees women who are eager and responsive to their partners. It is what he wants you to be, but you aren't. And so he has decided to try to manipulate you into being what he wants you to be -- which backfires and makes you feel degraded and less into him sexually. Eventually he will leave you for another woman, and this trend will likely continue with her, too.

I would suggest that both of you take the 5 love language test together (free here: Home | The 5 Love Languages®).

Start learning to "speak" the love language of the other. You two are not communicating your needs to each other, nor speaking the love language of the other. Your husband is desperately wanting you to be into him sexually and you want him to be passionately in pursuit of you and to cherish you as his treasure. You want him to truly be into you as a beautiful, sensuous woman who loves intimacy in a way that turns you on. You both need to discover together what this looks like and pursue it.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

Bored with our sex life is code for "I am slowing down, and just don't want sex as often"...

It is easy for him to keep it up for the porn he watches because there is always something new and different just a mouse click away....

He is blaming you, but he is the one that is loosing it. He just doesn't want to admit he is slowing down.....So...Sex with you is boring....

Any man who uses porn and neglects his wife is a jerk....

I'm sorry I don't have a fix for you, but at least now you know the cause of the problem....


the woodchuck


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

eyuop said:


> I agree with another poster, he isn't getting enough sex from you. Not nearly enough for his drive. And so he is going about everything the wrong way. You don't sound to me like you are into him sexually, either. How he is going about getting his sexual needs met has to do with complete frustration at the lack of intimacy he is getting. He wants intimate, passionate sex with you. When he watches porn, what he sees is women who are (acting) passionate and into their partner. He sees women who are eager and responsive to their partners. It is what he wants you to be, but you aren't. And so he has decided to try to manipulate you into being what he wants you to be -- which backfires and makes you feel degraded and less into him sexually. Eventually he will leave you for another woman, and this trend will likely continue with her, too.
> 
> I would suggest that both of you take the 5 love language test together (free here: Home | The 5 Love Languages®).
> 
> Start learning to "speak" the love language of the other. You two are not communicating your needs to each other, nor speaking the love language of the other. Your husband is desperately wanting you to be into him sexually and you want him to be passionately in pursuit of you and to cherish you as his treasure. You want him to truly be into you as a beautiful, sensuous woman who loves intimacy in a way that turns you on. You both need to discover together what this looks like and pursue it.




Thanks. I will check out the 5 love languages. 

I apologize in advance if I sound defensive because I am not trying to be! But I don't understand how I sound like I am not into him sexually. A year ago I noticed a decline in our sex life so I brought up the topic so we could try and fix it. All the fixing has been one sided (until now, he's really trying) I initiated sex several times a week. He would about once a month. There was only ONE thing in our new "spiced up" sex life I was not ok with and he was acting like sex wasn't worth it unless I'd do it. He didn't even care if I looked miserable. Everything else I enthusiastically did and for the most part enjoyed for a while I was feeling much closer to him but when the demands started stacking up and he was NEVER imitating sex, yes I got frustrated and I stopped doing so too.


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## eyuop (Apr 7, 2013)

Woodchuck said:


> Bored with our sex life is code for "I am slowing down, and just don't want sex as often"...
> 
> It is easy for him to keep it up for the porn he watches because there is always something new and different just a mouse click away....
> 
> ...


I don't hear her feeling like she is neglected sexually. I must have missed that part. It sounds to me like she isn't getting the kind of intimacy she needs from her husband to be sexually ready and connected. Having sex 1 or 2 times a month is starvation level for a man of his age.

What I see here is a high-drive man who has been watching porn because he is feeling sexually neglected. I see a low-drive woman who is disgusted by her high-drive man because he wants more sex and goes about trying to spice up their sex life in ways that completely turns her off. I don't see a woman who likes, nor enjoys sex (with her husband, anyway) in the OPs post. She feels like her husband is basically forcing her to do "bad" things and she feels degraded and invalidated. He feels like he has a dud for a wife and constantly finds himself watching porn and wishing she was as into him as those porn gals are into their men. 

In his sexually-charged clouded thinking he thinks that if she could just do more of the stuff that turns him on he would be happy (which is the selfish, immature route). I have a sneaky hunch that there are things this woman (besides sex) does not respect about her husband. She hates porn and disrespects him for watching it. She probably hates some other things about him that she disrespects, too. The more she disrespects him, the more jerk-like he will become. He is fixated on his sexual needs and seeing a reluctant, distant, sexually cold woman (in his mind) who disrespects him and is not into him is just confirming all of his porn use. He is caught in a destructive cycle.

I do not see a woman who is being sexually neglected. I see a woman who is emotionally neglected, desiring real, true intimacy with a man who respects her and shows her that she is the beautiful treasure she is. She longs for that feeling when a man holds her close -- not because he wants to have sex, but because he is so in love with her he just wants to hold her and feel her close to his heart. She wants to know she is gorgeous and captivating -- and she wants to be able to relax in his arms and truly give her whole self to a man who gives his whole self to her -- unselfishly and with her best interests in mind.

That's what I'm seeing here.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

eyuop said:


> I don't hear her feeling like she is neglected sexually. I must have missed that part. It sounds to me like she isn't getting the kind of intimacy she needs from her husband to be sexually ready and connected. Having sex 1 or 2 times a month is starvation level for a man of his age.
> 
> What I see here is a high-drive man who has been watching porn because he is feeling sexually neglected. I see a low-drive woman who is disgusted by her high-drive man because he wants more sex and goes about trying to spice up their sex life in ways that completely turns her off. I don't see a woman who likes, nor enjoys sex (with her husband, anyway) in the OPs post. She feels like her husband is basically forcing her to do "bad" things and she feels degraded and invalidated. He feels like he has a dud for a wife and constantly finds himself watching porn and wishing she was as into him as those porn gals are into their men.
> 
> ...




I don't think he is forcing me to do "bad things". I knew what he wanted and gave it to him, enthusiastically mind you. He's really into bondage and I was clear that I am not ok with anything over my mouth. That's it. Other than that I happily participated. 

I'm actually very HD and enjoy sex with my husband and I am very attracted to him. Also I respect him and appreciate him VERY much and I show it. I respect him very much and I am not disgusted by his porn viewing. I never had a problem with porn until it started to replace sex. I knew he'd watch it and I never really mentioned it until I knew it was pretty much nightly.

For years I took the blame for our bedroom problems because it was easier for me to fix things than fight about them. I'm not doing that anymore he knows it and agrees.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

Mrs.K said:


> Thanks. I will check out the 5 love languages.
> 
> I apologize in advance if I sound defensive because I am not trying to be! But I don't understand how I sound like I am not into him sexually. A year ago I noticed a decline in our sex life so I brought up the topic so we could try and fix it. All the fixing has been one sided (until now, he's really trying) I initiated sex several times a week. He would about once a month. There was only ONE thing in our new "spiced up" sex life I was not ok with and he was acting like sex wasn't worth it unless I'd do it. He didn't even care if I looked miserable. Everything else I enthusiastically did and for the most part enjoyed for a while I was feeling much closer to him but when the demands started stacking up and he was NEVER imitating sex, yes I got frustrated and I stopped doing so too.


Well, that is a bummer. Sorry to hear things are that way.

Hmm. I can see both sides here. Firstly, his side: sometimes, if a guy wants something and doesn't get it he feels like he is not being accepted sexually. That's hurtful. Of course, like I said before, that doesn't mean it should always be okay when he wants something. Some people are into some weird stuff that won't fly with the vast majority. 

From your more recent posts It appears that you have had a very open attitude, all things considered. So, what to do?

Here's the thing. Being bored is natural in life. Even skydiving blindfolded while having group sex with midget goats gets old eventually. Our bodies adapt to almost everything and we put out less dopamine and adrenaline. Then it feels boring. That's boredom in a nutshell: something that doesn't give us that rush of neurochemicals due to habituation or similar effects. 

Guys who watch porn almost always get into weirder and weirder stuff. They also dampen their ability to produce dopamine. They kinda "flatten out" emotionally--at least as far as being happy goes. This means that no matter what you and your husband do it will eventually become boring to him. It will eventually become okay for you, too, although that does not mean you should accept it in the first place. Boundaries are fully acceptable. 

The antidote to maritial boredom--at least to an extent--is quite the opposite of what you'd think. It's not spicing things up. Too much spice eventually just makes you sick of the whole dish. The right approach is more affection, believe it or not. Long, slow sex sessions with loads of kissing and cuddling, plus a lot of affectionate actions and talk during the rest of the day or week. 

Excitement is good in small doses. It shouldn't rule your sex life, because it is biologically guaranteed to never give lasting fulfillment. For that you need closeness and affection.


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

MSP said:


> Well, that is a bummer. Sorry to hear things are that way.
> 
> Hmm. I can see both sides here. Firstly, his side: sometimes, if a guy wants something and doesn't get it he feels like he is not being accepted sexually. That's hurtful. Of course, like I said before, that doesn't mean it should always be okay when he wants something. Some people are into some weird stuff that won't fly with the vast majority.
> 
> ...


^^ this!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

MSP said: "Excitement is good in small doses. It shouldn't rule your sex life, because it is biologically guaranteed to never give lasting fulfillment. For that you need closeness and affection."


Excitement rules MY sex life, for sure. It is exciting every time! We are also close and affectionate daily. Both excitement and affection can live side by side. We can be wearing crazy sex costumes, being extremely naughty and loud, wearing the legs off the bed, bashing my head through a wall....AND be loving and sweet and affectionate ALL AT THE SAME TIME.


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## MSP (Feb 9, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> MSP said: "Excitement is good in small doses. It shouldn't rule your sex life, because it is biologically guaranteed to never give lasting fulfillment. For that you need closeness and affection."
> 
> 
> Excitement rules MY sex life, for sure. It is exciting every time! We are also close and affectionate daily. Both excitement and affection can live side by side. We can be wearing crazy sex costumes, being extremely naughty and loud, wearing the legs off the bed, bashing my head through a wall....AND be loving and sweet and affectionate ALL AT THE SAME TIME.


Oh, I'm not against excitement! But it has to be healthy and balanced.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

"But it has to be healthy and balanced."

I'm not sure it always does have to be healthy or balanced.


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

Faithful, i might have agreed with you at some point, but not now. Try limerence. It's like distilling bipolar disorder or cocaine addiction and putting into the shape of a person.

WOW major epiphany moment!!!!

THIS is the plot of the children's tale, "The Gingerbread Man".


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

I am in limerance each and every day, I'm full of it, in fact.

I'm also full of RED HOT DESIRE for my husband.

AND true love for him, as well.

You can drink all of these c*cktails...there's no drug interaction problem.


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

^^ me too...

and then, he brought in a reinforcement, and I fell in limerence with that guy.

What a pain in the ass. So yeah, desire does need to be balanced, so that you don't create situations that you might "desire" but don't "love".


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## HeartbrokenW (Sep 26, 2012)

MSP said:


> Even skydiving blindfolded while having group sex with midget goats gets old eventually.


LOL was reading this thread and got to this line and started laughing and swallowed my gum! lol


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