# Need help!!!!



## jcole213 (Mar 15, 2016)

My wife and I have been married for 12 years we have 3 kids aged 8, 3 and 2. I have also started a business that keeps me very busy between 10-15 hours a day and by the end of the day I'm exhausted!!

Our relationship is wonderful but we always argue over the amount of sex. She has a much higher sex drive than me but feels I should initiate and she won't. She's constantly reminding me how little sex we have and I just need to change to meet her needs.

What can I do???


----------



## badsanta (Oct 13, 2014)

jcole213 said:


> My wife and I have been married for 12 years we have 3 kids aged 8, 3 and 2. I have also started a business that keeps me very busy between 10-15 hours a day and by the end of the day I'm exhausted!!
> 
> Our relationship is wonderful but we always argue over the amount of sex. She has a much higher sex drive than me but feels I should initiate and she won't. She's constantly reminding me how little sex we have and I just need to change to meet her needs.
> 
> What can I do???


If you have your own business, you could shift as much as possible of your job responsibilities to being at home (planning, bookkeeping, payables, advertising, administrative, etc) and get your wife to help you. You may also find you can get more accomplished if you delegate a little to subcontractors here and there. I know of no self employed person that just works without also having to hustle to keep work lined up that needs to be done. Odds are you can hustle from home and your wife can help.

Then once you feel your wife is more part of your team with regards to work, this should help you free up more energy to be intimate with her.

Aside from that, you can be more involved in her personal space and give her something to enjoy when she is alone without you. You can write her sexually explicit love letters and text her during the day. You can shop together and buy her a nice vibrator(s) to help make her alone time a little more fun. The gesture of adult novelties is not to replace you, but to give her at least a little something that says you care about her when you are not there. Then ask her to text you some details here and there!

Last but not least, have lunch with her during the day and give her some intimate attention BEFORE you pass out at the end of the day. 

Hope that helps,
Badsanta


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Beware! This is a critical bell-weather in your marriage. It is more than sex that she wants. She wants intimacy. Along with that closeness comes the sexual part. It is usually the man that is in this predicament.

Take care of her needs now and in the future, or some other POSOM will do it for you. Loneliness and horniness leads to infidelity.

This is the first shot across your marriage bow. Stop your vessel and rescue the lady. If you don't, a year from now you will find out POSOM got her and she will gas light you, telling you it was your fault. You were told about her HD [high desire]. But alas, you were too tired.


----------



## Young at Heart (Jan 6, 2015)

jcole213 said:


> My wife and I have been married for 12 years we have 3 kids aged 8, 3 and 2. I have also started a business that keeps me very busy between 10-15 hours a day and by the end of the day *I'm exhausted!!*
> 
> Our relationship is wonderful but we always argue over the amount of sex. She has a much higher sex drive than me but *feels I should initiate and she won't. * She's constantly reminding me how little sex we have and I just need to change to meet her needs.
> 
> *What can I do?*??


First of all talk to her. Explain what you said here. Tell her you love her to bits and make sure you show that in your attitude toward her.

Stop arguing with her. You don't need to get sucked into an argument, unless you want to. You can always calmly talk about things.

Let her know that you are tired, but you know sex is important to her. Try to see if scheduling when you will have sex helps her not panic. Some people feel that if they are not being sexually pursued by their mate, that they are no longer attractive or are no longer loved or desired. Make sure she doesn't feel this way.

I would suggest reading Chapman's book the 5 Languages of Love. Very often people want sex as an emotional reinforcement to not feeling emotionally loved enough. Chapman will help you figure out how to make her emotionally loved without sex. Sex is great and good, but so is love in your primary and secondary love languages, which are not sex.

Also the not initiating thing will get old after a while, but count your blessings. Your wife wants to have sex with you. There are so many men who would give anything to be in your shoes. Look at sex as playtime not a chore. Figure out how to be more spontaneous. Try arranging for a surprise nooner with your wife. You can text her mid morning and say you want to be the one who initiates and make her an offer of a quick lunch and sex, or your doing take-out dinner with a bottle of wine and her setting the table at home with candles and the best china. 

She wants you and wants to be desired by you. Figure out if there is any way to de stress your like or farm out some of the things that are taking all of your time so you will have a little more quality time.

After all, most of us work hard so we can enjoy the better things in life. Your wife is one of those better things in life that you shouldn't ignore.

Good luck.


----------



## wantshelp (Mar 10, 2016)

peacem said:


> For times when you are too tired for sex - you could use a vibrator on your wife.


Vibrators are good. You might also want to try the Womanizer.


----------



## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

If you're working 12-15 hour days, you're not giving your wife enough attention. She wants you to initiate because it is you who is missing in her life. It is your attention she wants. Expecting her to be content with you being home so seldom and her being the one to initiate is asking a bit much, IMO. She needs you to be interested in her, Mr WorksaLot!

I like @peacem suggestion about sex in the morning.

Another suggestion would be for her to sext you to let you know she wants you to initiate that night.

Lastly, if you truly work those kinds of hours every day, you need a new job. You're missing everything with your kids and you will become "the guy who lives here that we call dad." Your marriage and your health, along with your kids, will do better when you become a present person and not just a person who is sometimes here.


----------



## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

You better start getting out the Wheaties and satisfying your wife or you won't have that business that keeps you so busy much longer.....thanks to the sillyness that is modern day marriage/divorce.


----------



## jdesey (Dec 6, 2015)

Omg. There are guys that would kill to have a wife that wanted more sex. Freakin suck it up and screw her brains out. Nuff said.


----------

