# ls it common for WA's to push divorce ?



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Been 18-19mths since we separated and then suddenly ex produced divorce papers and has nudged me about them 3 times since ?
She assures me it's not so that she can get remarried or anything like that , she reckons it's just about moving forward. But she's suddenly in one hell of a hurry to do it.

Does any of this ring to the pattern or ?
ls there some reason they become hell bent on that divorce , now ?
l mean she may've been planning the time or something for 12mths , l don't know !


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## Bluebirdie (Apr 26, 2014)

My STBX did the same, suddenly after the year he called me and asked for us to arrange the divorce. At first he was running with papers going and coming. It has been 6 months and we are looking to sign until the end of the year. He also told me it was time to move on and thought that after one year it was enough since he didnt wanted to work on the marriage on his side.

There is always the possibility she met someone, but perhaps if you talk and ask to be honest so the bomb comes all at once and not in pieces one after another. She may be convinced the glass is broken since a long time without having another relation. 

I have been going to the movies with girlfriends and traveled which both he doesnt like, thought about his reactions to some situations; and that has helped me realized how there were differences between us, even though I was the one that was served and hurts a lot in the beginning you may be able to see and understand her at one point. 

I think the best is to talk face to face and ask her if that is really the reason if you want to get your main doubt answered.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Thanks blueb, sorry about your sitch to btw.
l couldn't sit down and talk about it qith her though it's still too painful , especially if she was to bring up the om or some serious plans with him.
She using his car right now bc hers is getting fixed , seeing that thing makes me sick. 

l did text her one night about the D papers though and said wtf , in a bit of a hurry aren't you , wtf are you up to.
That's when she just put it like that .

Anyway , she can have it , l just wan t the best for my daughter and me though in all this now but l'm a bit suss about her plans acting like this.

Hey good for you anyway with your travels and stuff , big congrats it's great steps forward for you isn't it.


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## Bluebirdie (Apr 26, 2014)

We will get through this... here you have me, in 2 days I will be on my way to India for 2.5 months... everyone tells me "great! well done!, there you go!"... but I must confess I am SO nervous, anxious and part of me would like to stay and sign those papers at once since the delay will be mostly because I am going and staying would make it faster than if I stayed and close this cycle... silly right? But... this is how I feel  Have gone abroad about 6 times for this 1.5 year, not with this feeling at all.

It hurts, but we will be ok  Nothing is eternal... this will end, just need to practice patience and acceptance.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yep we will . but hey , India , l'm so jealous . And l think l understand , well for me anyway . l know l should be able to , hell l should be able to throws those damn papers at her by now l know but l haven't even opened the envelope in 3mths . Might come to lndia :smthumbup: , think about it some more :rofl:

ln all honesty l've done wonders with things really and myself. l was left with sooo much to handle , pretty well our whole life , the house , all our stuff, debts and finances. She's been great with money and any help though l must admit.
We've sold the house and l move out in a few days . She seems to be thinking wipe the slate clean with the house and sent papers again last wk , wtf , l've had a lot more to do than d papers .
l've even met other women but l miss the life we had , the good parts and the family thing .

Strangest thing , she just left , came to pick up d. Stayed 2 and 1/2 hrs , looked very comfortable. lt's strange the stuff they do , very weird.
Anyway , decided l'l sign in a few wks after l get the move out of the way and all this house stuff , she can have it.


ps , have a ball in India hey .


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## Fenix (Jul 2, 2013)

I am starting to push a bit. It is not because I want to get involved with anyone, I just want to wipe the slate clean as much as possible. Like Whitehawk, I have just sold a house and that is the final tie that can be broken.

I am just ready to move on.

Kudos to you, birdie, for exploring the world. Enjoy India!!


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

l feel like letting it all go to and finally , properly getting on with my life .
We're not getting back and besides ,even just tonight , just watching her and the other night when she was over and plenty of other times. She's so different these days to the someone l loved 4 or 5 yrs ago , l don't even really like her that much tbh.

Tbh , it's as if it must be someone else l'd be divorcing anyway .


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## Bluebirdie (Apr 26, 2014)

whitehawk said:


> l feel like letting it all go to and finally , properly getting on with my life .
> We're not getting back and besides ,even just tonight , just watching her and the other night when she was over and plenty of other times. She's so different these days to the someone l loved 4 or 5 yrs ago , l don't even really like her that much tbh.
> 
> Tbh , it's as if it must be someone else l'd be divorcing anyway .


I get you, samething happening here...


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I mean, if she wants a divorce, it's not uncommon for her to push for it after so long in limbo. Why not just get it done instead of having a limbo status?

I'd say it's common for push to come to shove eventually.


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## Stretch (Dec 12, 2012)

My gut tells me she has gotte past any second thoughts about R.

Be strong and embrace your future,
Stretch


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Why would you NOT be pushing to get it over with at this point?? 18 months is a long time to just sit there! Be done with it, she wants to move on with her life, who can blame her?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

:iagree:

Limbo sucks.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Well , l'll try to explain. Nah l don't see much of the old her anymore , but she was early menopausing, mlcing, hurt and all sorts of things.
Everything she's doing , seems to have become , is so outa whack for her.
And then there's stuff , like touches. Only tonight she came over to my new place, just moved , to pick up d and literally stroked my hand as l passed her something. There's lots of stuff like that right through that everyone has said don't add up with her.

The old her , us , l slightly hoped to save l guess .


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

But , even if it is still in there somewhere deep inside with her , suppressed , as it seems sometimes. She's pushing for a d so , it must be time .


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I seriously thought you had divorced long ago.

Why not just get a divorce already? I mean, what are you waiting for?


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Thought l just explained that. But, around 2 to 3 yr sep first is about the norm here. 18 yrs, my daughter , because a lot of couples end up getting back together to so you know .


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Ah, I see. Sorry I must not have seen that or skipped past it.

It may start a new chapter of healing for you both.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Are you in the Oz, White?


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah JB. 2 - 3 yrs is about the norm, even 18mths is actually rushing it. l think you can d sooner but l haven't seen too many rushing into it .
l didn't mind the time . As you know l haven't exactly been sitting round waiting for her , met a few women.

But yep it's time now , we're done . Although l'm effed if l understand her still touching and stuff :scratchhead:


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

whitehawk said:


> Although l'm effed if l understand her still touching and stuff :scratchhead:


Old habits die hard.


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## Piggy (Apr 24, 2014)

Actually I BS is the one to file for divorce. 
I cannot tolerate he was trying to have best of both worlds.
I have my dignity
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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