# Just Sign the Damn Divorce Papers!!



## Alwaysconfused (Feb 18, 2010)

:scratchhead: In May my STBXW came to me and said that "She Needed Space....." So I moved out without putting up a fight. We have a 4 year old son that we agreed to have shared custody.

Since our separation, I have reflected on our relationship and have decided that it sucked and I would rather be divorced than separated. Since we have only been married for 5 years I emailed her the paperwork to finalize a divorce and she wont sign them.

In fact she ignores the filing. What the hell is she thinking and why is it that many of our STBX's won't finalize what they have started. If they don't want us in their lives why hold on to us when we ask for our freedom just as they did?? Frustrated. Help


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

Have you asked her why she won't sign them? Might be time to go have a little chat.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Haven't you been separated twice? Didn't you once get the ILBINILWY speech? Didn't your wife have an EA? (Are you sure it was only an EA)?

When you had trouble finding work she clamped her legs shut to motivate you. 

Did you find a job that gave you more satisfaction?

Seems like your wife is a very unpleasant person. Or at the least she was very dissatisfied with you for most of your marriage.

How much custody do you have?

She won't sign but she doesn't want reconciliation either, right?

Is she asking you to dinner or seeking to reconnect?


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

OP, talk to your lawyer and see what you can do.

They would be the only ones to advice you on this legal matter.

PS. Good for you! Way to stand up for yourself and take action!!!


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

could be a multitude of reasons

could be a delay tactic to keep financial support
could be buyer's remorse
could be that she's frozen by fear of the unknown and ignoring makes it go away in her mind

I could go on, but ultimately whatever her reasons are it sucks for you and you'll need to work the system and red tape to get what you want. It will be frustrating and a long wait but she won't be married to you forever if you are persistent


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Always. Did you file? There is X days to respond.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

weightlifter said:


> Always. Did you file? There is X days to respond.


Very true, if she's been served with the petition for divorce.

It would be nice if she played ball, but you don't need for her to.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

My ex WANTED the divorce, so I filed for him (he had moved, I beat him to filing due to his residency issues.) And he refused to sign for a while. Kept getting all mad about what was written in the paperwork. Eventually he DID sign and they were filed 4 days before he was supposed to get married again to someone else. LOL! 

Sorry, no real advice or help here......but I know your pain. Divorces can be nasty, drawn out things.


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## Alwaysconfused (Feb 18, 2010)

Longtalk & all of you thank you. Yes, servered her. No signing. I even tried at first to come together and sign w/o lawyers. Nope. Buyers remorse whatever it may be. I've moved on. I fell for a bad person & I feel so stupid for standing/ enduring this silly marriage. I did it for my son but now I have to make sure my son is well and safe. Thank u. Any more advice is welcome.


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## LongWalk (Apr 4, 2013)

Visit Moxy's thread. She has the same problem. The man she wishes was her stbx lives in Scotland. Makes it harder.

Do you have money conflicts with your stbx? Communal property?

Does she have a job?


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

She wanted space, so you moved out?

Why not tell HER to leave if she wants space?

You made it very easy for her. Probably gives her the edge in a divorce, for so many reasons.

You get an A for decisiveness but an F for not thinking things through.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

I thought that if you officially serve someone papers, they have a certain amount of days to reply or a judge can grant it anyway with whatever is on the original paperwork.

Time to talk to a lawyer.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I suspect whomever she left you for to share her new-found "space" with is dragging his heels or proving to be less than entirely wonderful. You are probably her back-up plan. Unless you have some heavy reason to get this thing over with, I'd let it ride and wait for her to fall in love or get pregnant, then that "shared" custody would become "primary" custody in my favor. The most motivated party in any negotiation gets the short end.


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## GA HEART (Oct 18, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> *The most motivated party in any negotiation gets the short end.*


:iagree:

VERY true, keep that in mind. My poor brother just wanted out, agreed to a lot of things he now wishes he hadn't. My ex ended up signing the papers because he just HAD to get remarried, and he finally gave up the things he was trying to fight. Probably regrets that now, but I consider it a severance package. He put us (is still putting us) through a lot of BS. Bottom line is he agreed to it.....we were fully prepared to let the judge decide.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

Alwaysconfused said:


> Longtalk & all of you thank you. Yes, servered her. No signing. I even tried at first to come together and sign w/o lawyers. Nope. Buyers remorse whatever it may be. I've moved on. I fell for a bad person & I feel so stupid for standing/ enduring this silly marriage. I did it for my son but now I have to make sure my son is well and safe. Thank u. Any more advice is welcome.


So, assuming you are in the US...you dont NEED her to sign sh!t. I divorced my husband without so much as an acknowledgement from him. Over and done with, easy peasy.


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

Alwaysconfused said:


> Longtalk & all of you thank you. Yes, servered her. No signing. I even tried at first to come together and sign w/o lawyers. Nope. Buyers remorse whatever it may be. I've moved on. I fell for a bad person & I feel so stupid for standing/ enduring this silly marriage. I did it for my son but now I have to make sure my son is well and safe. Thank u. Any more advice is welcome.


Is she still on your medical or dental plan? Are there any benefits to her staying legally married? As others have stated she actually won't have to sign anything. In most cases the divorce can be done without her as long as she's been served legally. If she hasn't been properly served and it was just you who served her, then I suggest having her legally served at work. Get the ball rolling. If you need legal advice, call a local law school for help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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