# how to begin



## ace2390 (Jun 19, 2018)

little back story my wife and I have had trouble in our relationship before. We have been married 3 years this April. i am 28 and she is 24. we met in the Marine Corps. she EAS last June and that is when most of the troubles started. she currently still works with Marines and Marines that have gotten out and contract like herself. Last July after an argument she stated that maybe she should begin looking for her own place and I agree. later that night after a few to many drinks I announced to people at my house we where talking about getting divorced. for about a month she barely spoke with me. I tried and I did things to show her I could be what she needed. I changed myself and focused on us. she went on a week trip or so. the day she returned I left to help Puerto Rico. so we hadn't seen each other in about a month. Got back worked on us and left again for another month. over thanksgiving weekend she slept with someone. forgiving, and she seeming remorse full we try and work through it. but she while I was gone asked for an open marriage. when I got back I gave her one month to decide if that is what she wanted because if it was it wouldn't be with me. she took longer then a month but before I left she said she want me and only me. that she would be faithfully waiting my return.
I am currently deployed aboard a naval vessel and about a month ago she wanted to separate. this was roughly 3 1/2 months into the deployment. I began to try and figure out what i could do to fix it with her and figure out what was wrong. at the start of the deployment it seemed like everything was going right. she sent me with a book that contained notes for everyday of the deployment. she wrote out 180 days worth of I love you's and tales of how our life was going to be. I thought the world was perfect. 
since she has informed me of the separation and such she has also told me she has feeling for someone else that feels the same way about her but is unsure if he is doing the right thing with separating from his wife. she hasn't told me how this person is but I have a very good suspicion who they are. I am tired and I am defeated. I had accepted that this could be the end. last week she cried out to me about how she was losing her best friend and she missed me. this has been the hardest things she has ever had to do. I appeased her because she was talking a lot about taking her own life. then Friday and she could seem to ignore me enough. so in all I am asking for a critic of the following.

"I have been thinking and so many things have gone through my head. I spend my nights lying in bed thinking. I have woken up with nightmares. All the things I wish I could say but seem to remember none of them. I have accepted that our marriage was ending but remained hopeful that we could work this out somehow. As the days seem to pass I am slowly excepting that it just isn’t going to happen not because I don’t want to try. We, sadly will end like 50% of everybody else that gets married. You where my best friend and the love of my life. Yes I have failed you in many ways but I loved you with all I knew how to express and could. But I fear I cannot do this anymore. It seems you get more enjoyment from keeping as a plan B then actually respecting me. I will no longer continue to hold your shoes. Like when you cried out for me last week and miraculously you no longer need my care. For I am not an idiot M. I have a very good suspicion who you have feelings for. The secrets about everything is not how someone that says they love someone acts. It is so very extremely difficult to do this and with such a heavy heart. I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for in this world and that it truly does bring you the happiness that I could not. The best of luck in all you choose to do."
I don't want to do this but I feel it is a requirement. I apologize for the lack of grammar and proper sentence structure.


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## Suspicious1 (Nov 19, 2017)

She broke her vows, time to put your big boy pants and accept that she fire you from being her all. She is now interviewing someone else for the job. 
Sounds to me like it's more than feeling she's sharing.

Time to let her go, your wife lacks respect integrity and honor. 

S1

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

she is trying your marriage and you with not only disrespect but a yo-yo, time to file and move on, its time to give her walking papers and gain some respect back.


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## ace2390 (Jun 19, 2018)

so I have sent what I put in quotes to her and her response was "Okay".
I have mixed emotions about having done it but I feel it will be for the best. seems like I will be spending more time here reading and learn to understand from all of yall.


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## Evinrude58 (Jun 16, 2014)

Her response: two letters.
That is your value to her. two letters.

You need to realize that once a woman starts this ****, it never ends, nor gets better. It just gets worse and worse.

You need to move forward with your life. Don't move on. That takes time. Just move forward. Take small steps and keep stepping. First thing you know, you've met someone also, and are able to see what an average non-special person your wife really is. At that point, you will achieve indifference.

When she asked for an open marriage, you should have asked for a divorce. Plain and simple. She is disgusting.


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## jlg07 (Feb 24, 2017)

You really just need to D. She doesn't respect you, she is playing you. You need to tell the POSOM wife that they are cheating, and you need to move past this woman. She is NOT who you think. SHE is the one who cheated, not your fault. You may have contributed to issues in the marriage, but SHE is the one who stepped outside it - 100% her fault. No "best friend" does this. Very sorry you are going through this while you are out defending our country (and thank you for that!).


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## BluesPower (Mar 27, 2018)

Let me help you with this. 

She does not love you. She does not want to be with you. 

She has been cheating probably most of the marriage. 

Frankly, it is really easy to understand. She is not a good person, she did not have the balls to just divorce like she should have. 

You begging and waiting on her was the worst thing you could have done. But, in her case it probably would not have mattered. She probably just felt like she wanted to get married and you would do. 

Just file for divorce, and move on.


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