# major back injury preventing sex



## whowouldhavethought (Jun 15, 2013)

I have a physical inability to perform and it is driving me crazy. Let me start off by stating my wife and I have been married for 33+ years. She is the light of my life and I am still madly and passionately in love with her and I believe the same holds true for her.

My wife is 68 and I am 60. As she so delicately put it her sex drive took a dive south around 65. I have found this not unusual. Plus she had a very mild stroke two years ago. Me, I suffer from a neurological condition that caused me to retire on a disability pension. 

But I still have a sex drive. Not as intense as ten years ago, but it is till there. So we still have sex 

Anyway two years ago, I had MAJOR back surgery. A total lumbar fusion from T11 to S1. I have two 14 inch rod up my back. My wife and I figure that given everything that has happened to me I have about 25% functionality. To put it mildly, I am disabled,

While I can get an erection, the missionary is too painful, and almost any other position is also as painful. Move the wrong way and I can get a jab of pain in my back, leg, etc that you would not believe.

The only thing that works for me is to be flat on my back with her on top and sometimes even that is too painful. More than 10-15 minutes on my back and I have horrible pain. (I sleep in a chair.)

Add to this mixture is a semi-inability to orgasm. When I spoke to the doctors about this, I was told by two of them that the drugs I am taking prevent orgasms. When I spoke with them and a second opinion doctor, I was told there were no other drugs for my condition.

Oral also is a no go because I cannot get into a comfortable position.

Any suggestions.

WWHT


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Kind of narrows it down to hand jobs doesn't it?


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

You will just have to keep trying to figure out what works for you. 

I broke my neck in my mid 30's about 5 years ago. This has left me disabled and in constant severe pain. I can only hold my head up for a max of 2 hours. I also sleep elsewhere and I sleep very little. I am in a wheelchair part time as I can only walk short distances. Everything I do is trail and error. 

I understand where your coming from. Every little thing in life has to be altered around your injury. I can tell you that ever since I started biking on a stationary bike, I'm able to accomplish more physically. 

Good luck. I hope you find something that suits you.


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## tracyishere (Dec 2, 2012)

Perhaps use a pillow, or swing?


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

I am not sure if this would help you, but might be worth looking into. Amazon.com: New Leather Yoga Chair Stretch Sofa Relax Sex Chair Love Making: Home & Kitchen Tantra chair


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Have you tried lying on your side and having her lay on her back and put her legs over you, making a "T" shape?


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Esse chair is said to be a great help to people with back injuries. We are looking at one...haven't bought it yet so I can't give you a reference. ... but I haven't heard any bad yhings about them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

You should contact a physical therapist as well as a pain managment MD (physiatrist) who will work together to bring your body back to as best functioning as possible. But you have to tell them you want to be able to have pain free sex and they will figure out a regimen designed for you.

Have you tried a sex swing? If you can stand, plant your feet, bend your knees slightly to relieve pressure on your back, and move your pelvis very slightly, the sex swing will do the rest of the work.

Your wife sits in the swing and places her ankles in the straps. Youcan adjust the sex swing to any height, the height that works for you, as well as adjusting the height of her spread legs. Once she is in the adjusted swing, you would have to be able to pull her toward you using your arms. You can hold/grasp the swing in several different places that work best for you. If your feet are spaced shoulder width, with knees bent, the pelvic movement you would do would be ancillary to the actual work your arms, shoulder and upper chest would be doing.


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

The esse chair is similar to the tantra chair that I posted. I have one of the tantra chairs and it is nice for supporting the body. 

My husband was in a wreck that shattered his femur and there are positions that now bother him some. This chair has helped quite a bit with this issue as well as giving us options on positions that were previously only for the acrobatically enabled.

Here is a variety of options Bedroom Play Gear - A Place For Passion including swings, wedges and such that may help. 

I think Anon Pink's physical therapist idea is good as well. They may be able to assist with ways to reduce the pain so you can enjoy.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Have her give you:

- oral sex
- 69, her on top
- foot jobs
- breast jobs
- hand jobs
- use toys on you

Great to hear you're still having sex.


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