# Letting go



## Chopsy (Oct 10, 2012)

Sent a brief two line email to my H last night. Said good luck in his new relationship and that I will make it with or without him. 

When I sent that, I felt like I had released not only him but also a little of the pain. 

This morning feels different, like a new start. All this time I've been chasing, begging, trying to engage him in conversation, texting, calling, fixing. I am so done! Everyone says focus on you but that's been impossible but this morning it feels easy and natural. Maybe its just the roller coaster but for now it's wonderful to be able to rise above it. 

Has anyone else let go of their WS and were you able to sustain it?


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## jmb123 (Nov 9, 2012)

Chopsy said:


> Sent a brief two line email to my H last night. Said good luck in his new relationship and that I will make it with or without him.
> 
> When I sent that, I felt like I had released not only him but also a little of the pain.
> 
> ...


Yes ,very much and in a very determined manner.
I did a lot of pleading,begging,crying,rugsweeping and was a doormat for 2 months.
In the end,I do not know how that happened,I made alist of things I did wrong,said was genuinely sorry for all of them,he was not ready to hear his faults(He thinks he is GOD like and had given me chnaces);He called just 2 days later asking for the divorce finalization.I was calm,said Yes and asked him not to contact me except for email regarding the divorce;That B****** did call me 1 week later(perhaps to feel good about making me feel pathetic);I did not pick his phone.Chnaged the number forever;
2 weeks after from then ,I had bouts of anger,guilt and depression;But I felt good day after day.It has been months now and I happier and getting healthier.I feel angry and used sometimes,that is just my anger over 11 years of my life gone like this.But I do not want him back or see him again.
I have read books by Louis Hay and made positive affirmations wishing myself happy days and happy life and have been kind to myself;
Am working on building my confidence level again;I just want to see myself happy ;

So you have 1 person in the world who is presently out of the mess and trying to rebuild a healthy happy life.


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## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Congrats chopsy well done.Mine left 6wks ago - don't think her new things worked out either - l'm real upset bout that 

I got told bout 3 mths ago and l sort of pretty well began my own 180 version in a part the next day really just encase but while l did still keep trying to save our marriage to.

l'd never heard of the 180 then , still wish l never did to but our finances and life were gonna be in such a mess , then my daughter, l just had no choice encase the separation really did happen and it did so.
lt really shocked her but l said well how the f'k can l ever believe or depend on another word you say if your doing this now. She said don't worry l won't leave you in the sh$t and L'll help anyway l can but l said no thanks look where your helpings got us now , l'll take my own reigns from here thanks. And l started looking at propty , called the bank about this one , even looked at a rental. lt was too much so soon , nearly made me sick but l didn't tell her that.

We've got my daughter to see so even when l'd seen she wasn't coming round we were still talking every night mostly about us . l wanted to understand what f'd up properly
We still have to text or talk nearly everyday , daughter stuff , even just chat. Sometimes we forget and it's just like us again .
But l'm still trying to go on with life as from the start , l'm finishing the house , work , browsing new areas for when l sell it.
There's been a few letters but not that final thing . The last one was an anger night for me and l let her have it - who cares why noyt she sure gave it to me so.
On off so much , anger , forgiveness and back again. And then there's the tears for my daughter. oh yea and the loneliness and depression , it's all great fun.

lt's all just f'n crazy sh$t.


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## dblkman (Jul 14, 2010)

yep 5 years ago I let my WS walk out the door so she can continue with her sleeping around, less then a month later she was begging to come back but I would NOT hear it. The feeling of relief after she left was just overwhelming, it meant I no longer had to put up with her crap, put up with her affairs or any other mess. 2 years later I married my current wife who is not only my life partner but my best friend.


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## BigMac (Oct 29, 2012)

dblkman said:


> yep 5 years ago I let my WS walk out the door so she can continue with her sleeping around, less then a month later she was begging to come back but I would NOT hear it. The feeling of relief after she left was just overwhelming, it meant I no longer had to put up with her crap, put up with her affairs or any other mess. 2 years later I married my current wife who is not only my life partner but my best friend.



Did your X stopped begging you or she still contact you ?


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

Chopsy said:


> Has anyone else let go of their WS and were you able to sustain it?


enjoy the good feelings, you are probably still on the rollercoaster but you will notice the good times get longer and bad times get shorter....


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

hell yeah, I barely even think about him now - you'll still have the occasional wobble but it will pass
onward and upward!


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## Ryry224 (Oct 16, 2012)

I just let my WS go today and told him that it's not going to work out. I've done all the begging, pleading, crying, changing and he's still contacting her. We've been seperated for 5 weeks, and he hasn't made the effort to reconcile so I'm done! The unfortunate thing is we've been married for 28 yrs and most of those years were happy!


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