# What's your biggest flaw?



## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Okay, a couple of threads today have gotten way fraught, so let's do some expiation!

What's your biggest relationship fault? Hey, you're anonymous here, and in most cases your SO ain't reading.

Mine is not being open enough about my feelings.

Who's next?


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

I hold onto resentment too long. And I snore.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

GTdad said:


> I hold onto resentment too long. And I snore.


I don't snore, that I know about :scratchhead: but I do hold on to resentment as well.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I used to be too controlling, impulsive, and sarcastic.

Now, since working on all this crap for sooo long (lol a year), I think my biggest flaw is still communication about certain things like my needs and the such.

But, still working on that.


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## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I used to be too controlling, impulsive, and sarcastic.
> 
> Now, since working on all this crap for sooo long (lol a year), I think my biggest flaw is still communication about certain things like my needs and the such.
> 
> But, still working on that.


You've come a long way, TG!! Keep up the good work! :smthumbup:


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

*raises hand re the resentment thing*


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I used to be too controlling, impulsive, and sarcastic.


LOL, oh man, if I ditched the sarcasm, I'd be leaving roughly half of my personality in the ditch with it.


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## ItMatters (Jun 6, 2012)

Bossy but not willing to ask for help. Not speaking my mind when I should have and instead being more and more resentful. 

I say I'm low-maintenance... but I think now I realize I'm higher maintenance than I thought... While my needs are relatively simple... don't meet them and I am one pissed off indian (and in the past I've just buried it).


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

GTdad said:


> LOL, oh man, if I ditched the sarcasm, I'd be leaving roughly half of my personality in the ditch with it.


Yea. I'm glad I did. lol People are much nicer to me now and Hubs actually likes me again. Well, worth it!


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

short attention sp..


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I avoid conflicts...then I get angry that I don't address things that bother me....

and I tend to be a bossy boots...


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Oooo that's my biggest flaw! Asking for help.

I take on a lot of the housework and I don't mind. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, and instead of saying "I could use some help-- I'm overwhelmed..." *(which has worked GREAT when I've done it)...I instead pout and stomp around :rofl: Doesn't work so well.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I'm too trusting early on, and that usually slaps me in the face later on. Trust is something that's earned, not something that is given out because someone says "You should trust me...." and I no longer believe in 100% blind trust, that usually doesn't work out well for me either, because I usually end up blindsided. Not fun.

That and I'm horrible with not bringing up things that bother me when they bother. I hate peeing on the parade so I tend to keep my mouth shut and let it fester. Which is not good. I've been working on that.

Other than that (besides my stupid anxiety/depression issues) I think I'm an awesome partner 

Adding that I also take things personally, when they don't have anything to do with me. And sometimes I a bit paranoid, thinking that I'm always going to get hurt by the ones I love, that it's their only goal in life, to cause me major anguish. Which is another couple of things I've been working on, and being somewhat successful at it. I've been changing how I think and how I feel and it seems to be helping me not dwell on things that may or may not happen in the future.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I know it's shocking but I can be bossy. I would also hold on to resentment. I can nurse a grudge like an ICU nurse takes care of a terminally ill patient. I used to keep score of past misdeeds. I can be a conflict avoider and passive aggressive when angry.

I've learned to change my ways. I read a lot of self-help/marriage books. I'm not saying I've eliminated all the bad habits, but I'm much more aware of how I respond. The first step in changing is becoming aware. You can't change what you don't acknowledge.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Coffee AMore said: "I can nurse a grudge like an ICU nurse takes care of a terminally ill patient"

SNORF! So very well put! Me too. I'm better now, but still...


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Too trusting
Resentment (I hold grudges a LOOOOONG time lol)
Communication
I am, usually, a "people pleaser"...and that really grates on hubby's nerves.


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

lamaga said:


> *raises hand re the resentment thing*


I hated seeing that lone unliked post.

See? I'm a champ at empathy, and stuff.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

I was a world-class pouter. Hubs cured me of that. He kept after me to talk about my anger and resentments, and he would not leave me alone until I told him what was bothering me. I now think that communication is the secret to staying in love.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

I agree, Lovesherman!

(I know intellectually that your name means Loves Her Man, but I always think of you as Love Sherman  )


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> I was a world-class pouter. Hubs cured me of that. He kept after me to talk about my anger and resentments, and he would not leave me alone until I told him what was bothering me. I now think that communication is the secret to staying in love.


FOR SURE! Hubs has been in a funk lately and of course, I triggered and asked him what was wrong and all that...and he was clammed up and distant for a bit.

Well, after a couple weeks of it, I just said, "You know you woudln't let me get away with this sh1t." and walked away. Probably not the best way to handle it but I was angry! After 2 weeks of this nonsense and him saying nothing was wrong but clearly there was!

He came to me about 10 minutes later and snuggled me and really opened up. Then we had some good sex. :smthumbup: Afterwards, i told him, "See? That's all it takes! Talk to me! I won't think anything differently about you...geezz!"

I think he's getting it now...slowly. lol. He's just so closed up sometimes.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

lamaga said:


> I agree, Lovesherman!
> 
> (I know intellectually that your name means Loves Her Man, but I always think of you as Love Sherman  )


Yes, I need some capital letters in my username. To me Sherman means Mr. Peabody's boy. Now that reference dates me!


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Trying to always keep the peace. Been called the "family peacekeeper." Always hated to see anyone upset and conflict around me.

Excessively trusting, that one's really bit me in the azz.

Being a chameleon of sorts, adapting what I think are desirable characteristics and behaviors.

Not always being true to me, but what I think others think I should be.

Clear communication.

Trying to be more conscious of those things and not do them.

Oh, sarcasm. What a toughie to control, it just seems to pop out at the worst possible times.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

this is like that interview question 'what are your weaknesses'
'mmm well I work too hard and I'm a perfectionist' :rofl:

I can be very emotionally detached when I want to be


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, Dolly, me too. And sometimes I am alarmingly blunt.

You may have noticed this


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I'm also very non confrontational but this means I let things really boil my p*ss until I'm seething with resentment - that leads to emotional detachment!


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Dollystanford said:


> I'm also very non confrontational


*snort*


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Yep, GT, I got a chuckle out of that one as well


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## abandonedcompletely (Dec 21, 2011)

I can be forgiving, but if I feel the apology wasn't sincere, I can hold a grudge. 

I tend to over analyze things which I'm working on

I also will care more about others feelings than my own. That one I have worked on big time. It took a lot for me to realize my feeling are just as valid as another's... I speak up more now, though I still care about the feeling of others, so when I speak, I'm still very careful how I word things.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I will say, from rereading my post on this thread, it made me sound like I don't trust my S/O, I do. Very much so. Especially since we've both made efforts in communicating more effectively and working on our other issues we've discussed one night a couple of months ago. 

I just have a hard time trusting men in general, since my conditioning from a very young age is that any man will hurt you and leave without a second thought (I have my biological father to thank for that). And the last guy I was involved with did the "I'm such a good guy, you should trust me..." crap. 

Even without therapy, I've been doing somewhat better at keeping my negative thoughts in check, though they do rear their ugly heads from time to time, and I've been completely honest with my S/O about my needs and that we have to meet each other half way. It seems to be going a lot more smoothly now, and I hope this is a good sign that thing will be a lot more positive here on out.

Anyways, sorry for the rambling. Just thought I'd clear it up.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

I can talk to him about most things BUT if something REALLY hurts- I just cant spit it out. I can shut down pretty quickly. Im working on this one though. He has become much more open since his EA. Now Im trying and as I said when it really hurts- I just cant put it out there. Well, Ain't no pain like that of infidelity so this is quite a challenge for me to not just shut down and protect myself.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Same here, Canttrustu, same here. But you gotta do it, you know that.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

lamaga said:


> I agree, Lovesherman!
> 
> (I know intellectually that your name means Loves Her Man, but I always think of you as Love Sherman  )


I thought her name was Love Sherman with Sherman being her hubby. :rofl:


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Coffee Amore said:


> I thought her name was Love Sherman with Sherman being her hubby. :rofl:


:rofl::rofl:


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

I am a power hungry tyrant and should not ever hold any position of power or authority. Anybody want to ****ing argue with me?????


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Same here, Canttrustu, same here. But you gotta do it, you know that.


yes. I know. I have been doing -better-but still i swallow most things about the A. The more painful the less I say about it. I know I have to turn it around but its hard w/o the trust. I dont trust him yet b/c its only been 4.5 months or so and 1 month since NC because he worked with her so he had to interact with her until he left that job-a month ago. Before that he sat literally 10ft from her 10hrs a day, 5 days a week so couldnt really start trusting him then. Now he's had NC since leaving. Im sure of it, as I can be but that doesnt fix the trust issues. Its hard to bare your soul to someone you dont fully trust. He is working very hard and its getting easier but, ya know....

Anyway, didnt mean to HJ with my issue.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

No worries, Cant, talk all you need.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> I am a power hungry tyrant and should not ever hold any position of power or authority. Anybody want to ****ing argue with me?????


:banhim::banhim:


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## Unsure in Seattle (Sep 6, 2011)

I tend to think that's she's more machiavellian than she actually is- that when she does something to hurt my feelings that she's trying to do it on purpose... whereas she really probably isn't.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Playing with fire now, eh, Sherman?


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, Unsure, anyone who can use the word machiavellian in a sentence correctly has my vote!


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## GTdad (Aug 15, 2011)

Amplexor said:


> I am a power hungry tyrant and should not ever hold any position of power or authority. Anybody want to ****ing argue with me?????


The proletarian fighters of the TAM Peoples' Revolutionary Liberation Front will continue to valiantly strive to overthrow the jack-booted oppressors of the posting masses.

Or least that's what Iamaga tells me.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Not asking for help, when i really need it.

I also hold on to resentment for way to long. I do hold grudges. I don't get mad, I get even.

AND i never ever put myself first, ever. 

One more, I wait until I blow my top to talk about what is bothering me (I bottle it, bad I know) Once this happens the things i need to say, don't really get said.


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## Kurosity (Dec 22, 2011)

I am blunt, too blunt if you ask my H. He says I come a crossed to him as unfeeling in my honesty. 
I am not good at making "I" statements when I am upset. "I feel" never crosses my lips with out my having to really think about it when I am upset esp in the heat of the moment. So it can cause some big problems between H and I because with out it he feels attacked. I am working real hard on it though.


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Arrogance


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Oh and I thought of one more.....I wish I had married an unattractive, boring, angry dork so No one else would want to play with my toys(him)....So, I guess the flaw is Im selfish with my 'toys'. 

Life lesson-marry an ugly person....:rofl::rofl:


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Tac. I know arrogant. I've seen arrogant. You ain't arrogant


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

holding on to resentment and not being more open with my feelings or suppressing my true feelings for the well being of the family.

being to trusting.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

My biggest flaw is that I have none....makes it very hard for the people around me to live up to my greatness. :rofl:


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Not being confident enough and having my buttons pushed by emotional bullies who must see that I have a huge target on myself in which everything I pride myself on is displayed in neon.

I need some kevlar on my spirit, that's for sure, something that will bounce that cr*p right back where it came from.


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## Mrs.K (Apr 12, 2012)

I am a control freak not so much that I control my husband or try to but I need to be in control of the house, the kids and everything going on around me. Luckily it only bothers him sometimes.

I am too anal about a lot of things and I think my way is the best.

AND I snore, lol REALLY loud! Loud enough that my H has spent countless nights on the couch because it keeps him up.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

My biggest relationship flaw is jealousy.


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## joe kidd (Feb 8, 2011)

Mrs.K said:


> I am a control freak not so much that I control my husband or try to but I need to be in control of the house, the kids and everything going on around me. Luckily it only bothers him sometimes.
> 
> I am too anal about a lot of things and I think my way is the best.
> 
> AND I snore, lol REALLY loud! Loud enough that my H has spent countless nights on the couch because it keeps him up.


Pidge? Do you have an alternate account? :rofl:


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I dont give a sh!t what anybody thinks about me,including my wife
[ only if its good !]

Is that narcissistic?

[ Cliché to a fool,but truth to a man who seeks wisdom! ]

Nah, I don't snore.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

I think the biggest thing I've been learning since our 'reset' is to speak up and that disagreement is healthy - not just for our relationship but for myself and my own self confidence. 

I was a feisty broad when he met me. But I don't like drama and over the years decided what to bother disagreeing about/voicing. I just didn't feel certain things were worth my energy. There was no intent attached other than I just felt laid-back about some things yet it's not that I became a 'yes' woman without an opinion either. "Stop the press, Batman!" .......Was I becoming apathetic with things that were important to him? Yes. Was I detaching in some ways? Yes. Was I ignoring his needs in doing so? Yes. *slaps forehead*

And little did I realize it was signalling to him that I wasn't as involved in the relationship. So, I notice that I now almost consciously have to make myself speak up even though I might think it's a small thing, it's important for ME and for HIM/US to have those conversations and disagreements. He's learned about communicating from his end too and the dynamic between us has reset from what it had become. It's still a conscious effort and I almost 'feel' the moment I'm about to slip into old habits.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

My biggest flaw? Besides writing a paragraph without actually writing the traits..... fitting really...... communication combined with distancing myself emotionally and recognizing I don't have to 'protect' others from potential hurt/upset. That whole dynamic for me is all rolled up into one.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

I can be a little too intense. I give a lot, but I want a lot, too. That can be annoying, even though I don't ask for it, the expectation lurks....

I'm also a total pushover and cave in to make my partner happy, even at the expense of myself. I don't speak up about what's bothering me unless I really, really can't bear it anymore, which makes the issue charged with resentment; in part, it's because when I ask for things, I don't get them and I risk some serious denigration each time, so I don't ask for things unless they really matter. I'm pretty self-sufficient most of the time.

And, I realize that now I sound really messed up. Good question, OP! An honest answer to this question provides an opportunity for self-improvement.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Caribbean Man said:


> I dont give a sh!t what anybody thinks about me,including my wife
> [ only if its good !]
> 
> Is that narcissistic?
> ...


Sounds like the islands to me.
My second major relationship was my friend from Grenada. I can't remember any time I ever felt that he gave one sh*t what anyone thought of our relationship. It was no secret on our small training base that we were practically living as a married couple for the entire time we were there. A lot of people really hated it, and I'm sure tried to make that known, but I never heard one peep about it. He was absolutely calm. Nothing every phased him at all.


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## Accipiter777 (Jul 22, 2011)

when upset i am WAY to sarcastic....


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

In relationships, before marriage, my biggest weakness/flaw was that I was very reserved. I wouldn't think twice about dumping someone and wouldn't have those "withdraw" feelings. When i was done, I was done...probably because I was never 100% invested. I had been 100% invested ONCE before hubs and it ruined me when it ended. Completely ruined me. So I built myself back up, learned from my mistakes (which was too trusting, too gullible, too...too) and then dated, but never gave myself 100%. It was easier to walk away when I felt it was time.

I couldn't do that now. Omg. When hubs left me last summer, I was ruined. It felt good. Reminded me i was human  and that I truly did love this man.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I think I procrastinate. But I also have a life that accommodates procrastination. Sometimes it's just a matter of waiting until I have sufficient motivation to give a task the full benefit of attention that it really deserves. Other times I'm not so sure.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I also have a sharp tongue. I know YOUR weakness and can spit it out at you and cut you down until you are just a sniveling piece of poop in the corner.

Yea. I stopped that. Eep! I was a mean teenage girl. My stepdad always told me to watch my tongue. I got it from my mom. hrm. :/


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

moxy said:


> *And, I realize that now I sound really messed up*. Good question, OP! An honest answer to this question provides an opportunity for self-improvement.


:rofl:

No, you sound human.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

that_girl said:


> In relationships, before marriage, my biggest weakness/flaw was that I was very reserved. I wouldn't think twice about dumping someone and wouldn't have those "withdraw" feelings. When i was done, I was done...probably because I was never 100% invested.


This could be me. I would be in relationships because they were enjoyable, but, had no problems walking away when it was time to do so and I never looked back. I'm like that with my friendships, too. Never too invested. I'll give anything to whoever asks, but once obligation sets in, I'll end the friendship. stbxh was the first person that I ever committed to in any real way and his betrayal really undid me; I was all in; not sure if I'll ever fully recover from it. I will never let anyone get that close to me again, not him not anyone. 

Things crashed and burned big time, so I lost my family and my h to manipulation, my job, my home, my trust fund, and friends. It feels good to indulge my nomadic spirit though; I've moved 5 times in the past 10 months and am moving again in a few weeks; restlessness has set in, but so has the desire for adventure. I realized that my big mistake was being too invested!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

moxy said:


> This could be me. I would be in relationships because they were enjoyable, but, had no problems walking away when it was time to do so and I never looked back. I'm like that with my friendships, too. Never too invested. I'll give anything to whoever asks, but once obligation sets in, I'll end the friendship. stbxh was the first person that I ever committed to in any real way and his betrayal really undid me; not sure if I'll recover from it. I will never let anyone get that close to me again.


That's where you and I are different, or maybe we're not. With the one who ruined me...and it was...omg...I honestly don't know how I lived through that. ...but I did and I swore NEVER to settle for anything less than I had with him. That relationship proved the depth in which I could love someone and I wanted it again.

That being said, I was very picky with whom I dated and I would know relatively soon whether or not the guy had "it". "It" being that connection with me. No one did, but they were fun...entertaining...good for hanging out and being sexual.

7 years passed and I was content with my life and where it was going. Hanging out and dating people. Had some long termers in there, nothing I couldn't live without. Then I met H and he had "it"...from the first words we spoke, I felt "it"...and I was not going to give that up.

So, I do not blame you for thinking you'll never let anyone that close to you again...I know how that feels and I know betrayal and how it can literally rip your soul out through your ass.
But...the beauty of life and living is to connect to people...Perhaps in time you'll get through the pain and be able to open up again  Won't be for a while, I know...but someday...just maybe. It's a hope I carried for YEARS and wouldn't give up...not even when my family was all on me about my age and "not being married". Oh well! I was ready to wait forever to find someone with 'it'. I think secretly you want "it" too...but you're scared...and i get that.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

My biggest flaw?

My mouth.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

that_girl said:


> I was ready to wait forever to find someone with 'it'. I think secretly you want "it" too...but you're scared...and i get that.


I'm still hung up on stbxh and I don't know how to let go in my heart. Doesn't feel like the end of our story yet, but that could be the limbo talking. If he and I could fix our damage, I'd be committed, but even with him, never again 100%.

Sometimes I think I want that, the big romantic love; but, I had that and look at how it turned out. I wouldn't trade a day of it, but I wish it had taken a different turn, anyhow. Here on out, I'll take some passion and some fun and even monogamously, but I don't think it's worth the risk to consider being invested again (with stbxh or anyone else). I don't know if it's fear or self-preservation or both, but I suspect that I don't have it in me.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Reading moxy's mention of restlessness and adventure, made me think of another... which I think is my 'double-edged sword flaw'.

I have trouble thinking of staying in one place for a long time (as in 5-10 years and more). We have moved around a bit and just when I mentally think I'm ready to settle, I get that urge inside that has me craving to move on and experience different places. I know contentment should come from within and not a location. I used to think it was an adventurous side to myself, now I think it's more than that and I have a love/hate relationship to this part of me. And I theorize it's related to being slightly emotionally detached. Yet I love the experiences we've had as a result and that I'm able to embrace change easily. My double-edged sword.


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## bandit.45 (Feb 8, 2012)

You could have passed up giving me a "like" for that one that_girl.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

bandit.45 said:


> You could have passed up giving me a "like" for that one that_girl.


 I was giggling.


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## OhGeesh (Jan 5, 2010)

I'm socially weird 

Don't like people very much I'm super cordial, people say funny witty, and seem cool!! 

In reality I am happiest alone or with my wife and kids. Anything else is emotionally taxing.

2nd would be I'm a control freak everything finances, trips, everything!!


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## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

Good question. I have been married for quite sometime thankfully so I think I have had various flaws that came to the forefront over time.

*Arguably I have been unable in much of my marriage to find a life balance of work versus home life. I can come up with all sorts of excuses and from time to time maybe even have valid ones but over the long haul this is probably the biggest flaw that enabled other problems. So workaholic is not too far off. If I could do it all over again I would try to tweak this.*

My arrogance, combined with the above, plus naivete and poor bondaries were major contributors to my EA.

I also let myself punish myself for the above for too long. Probably ten years too long. This kept me from being a better husband and I think hurt us during those years from getting the most out of them.

Our step daughter caused our biggest issues in our marriage. Probably it could have been somewhat mitigated by me focusing more on the home front. I will never know. My wife and I were Nice Guys with the kids I think. This worked fine for our daughter but not my step daughter. My step daughter took after her dad unfortunately too much. So if we could have changed this with environment we missed on that.

I have probably been too nice a guy and too trusting, excect that it appears I married the right woman and this was ok for her. It works for her so its all good. In another relationship maybe not so much.

Doing His Needs Her Needs helped us both. Sooooo, I think we needed this guidance sooner. I probably was not open to this early on. It took my EA to realize I could use some help.

All the above considered going for that life balance that is hard to attain for some of us. I spent too much of my earlier life living for the future. That was drilled into me early on ... too much. We have to live in the moment. I am doing more of that now. No doubt I have all sorts of flaws but some of them are double edged. Specifically passion. I live by it and die by it. It is who I am.


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## GhostRydr (Jun 2, 2012)

Not picky enough who I date. Next time someone mentions they had an abusive childhood Im running..


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

Take stuff too seriously.


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## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

bandit.45 said:


> You could have passed up giving me a "like" for that one that_girl.


Awww, too bad for frowny face. I'm not that_girl, but I'll respond anyway. I think the "like" is just because it was kind of an amusing take on the question, a nice break from the seriousness of self-analysis. My "like" to that was for that reason, not because I agreed with your assessment.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

GTdad said:


> *snort*


hey, I AM non-confrontational! Wanna make something of it...? 

actually I think part of this was to do with the ex. He was one of those people that when he was angry he could say the most brutal, outrageous UNFORGIVABLE things and then forget about them 10 minutes later and there's no way I could 'win' an argument against that. I'm not just not that nasty

humm


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

I am a lazy jerk that weighs entirely too much. I snore like a Harley and my feet smell weird (kinda like wet leather...very strange).

I watch football all day on sundays ignoring most of my responsibilites, and I struggle to grow body hair. Ok fine, I have none on the font side of my upper body.

But my biggest flaw...after much reflection I think I take my wifes efforts at home for granted.


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

moxy said:


> Awww, too bad for frowny face. I'm not that_girl, but I'll respond anyway. I think the "like" is just because it was kind of an amusing take on the question, a nice break from the seriousness of self-analysis. My "like" to that was for that reason, not because I agreed with your assessment.


Same here, bandit!


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## As You Wish (Jun 5, 2012)

I'm bossy and selfish. That comes from 17 years in a crap marriage where those were survival skills. Lol

DH is slowly breaking me of both of these. The bossiness he just won't tolerate, and he's so generous, giving and considerate that I don't feel like I have to put myself first, because HE puts me first.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

lamaga said:


> What's your biggest relationship fault? Hey, you're anonymous here, and in most cases your SO ain't reading.
> 
> Mine is not being open enough about my feelings.


 I am the opposite .....I tend to be TOO OPEN ...and need to reign it in ...with my feelings, thoughts... I have always just been this Free spirit - if I felt "comfortable" around those before me...that is. If not, I can appear Shy, and just be a silent observer -until something sparks my interest or irritation & I am compelled to speak.

I can't say I have ever struggled with Resentment (see alot of this on this thread mentioned)...... I am a Confronter by nature... I don't allow any grass to grow under my feet when I feel a root of that digging in......I go to the source, we deal or I strive, through tears, to move on through forgiveness without that person in my life. I must have Peace in my soul -if I want to keep a genuine  on my face every day...or I would likely be impossible to live with. (Yikes that sounds bad!) .... I can't fake my feelings, I wear them too much on my sleeve. 

My biggest flaw is... I am impatient and I have a temper. 

I am a very organized mover & shaker... I am meticulously on time, I am careful to always keep my word, I speak it like it is...so I often get annoyed with those who tell white lies to save face, make bum excuses, who are habitually late, or can't keep a promise...If I get my hopes UP for something and it gets dashed..... I need to whine a little and get it out of my system. 

I can also be a little too self -critical, I can be a worry wart- especially over health issues (ONLY if serious) ....I am not a risk taker, I can be downright SELFISH if I want something bad enough. I can also steamroll those in my family when I get upset & have reason to be. (not outside of our doors though, I am too ladylike for that). 

I guess that was ALOT of flaws !!


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## DayDream (May 25, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am the opposite .....I tend to be TOO OPEN ...and need to reign it in ...with my feelings, thoughts... I have always just been this Free spirit - if I felt "comfortable" around those before me...that is. If not, I can appear Shy, and just be a silent observer -until something sparks my interest or irritation & I am compelled to speak.
> 
> I can't say I have ever struggled with Resentment (see alot of this on this thread mentioned)...... I am a Confronter by nature... I don't allow any grass to grow under my feet when I feel a root of that digging in......I go to the source, we deal or I strive, through tears, to move on through forgiveness without that person in my life. I must have Peace in my soul -if I want to keep a genuine  on my face every day...or I would likely be impossible to live with. (Yikes that sounds bad!) .... I can't fake my feelings, I wear them too much on my sleeve.
> 
> ...


Wow...this sounds a lot like me. Except being open with my husband seems to be a problem with me. With everyone else I can tell it like it is, but for some reason with him I'm different.


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## Good Dog (Mar 28, 2012)

lamaga said:


> Okay, a couple of threads today have gotten way fraught, so let's do some expiation!
> 
> What's your biggest relationship fault? Hey, you're anonymous here, and in most cases your SO ain't reading.
> 
> ...


My biggest flaw is over-thinking everything. My wife hates this and is the opposite of me which causes a lot of problems. I want to talk a problem out and "fix" it, she wants to pretend there's no problem even when really bad things are happening in our marriage. So I come here and over-think things on this site, or help others over-think things.


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