# Wanna be like newlyweds in heat again? Do this or fugedabodit



## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

One of you has to go first 

Either you start to put out like a newlywed in heat and he will come around and romance the hell out of you as a reaction to your sexual ways or he starts romancing the **** out of you and you WANT him and JUMP him like a newlywed in heat as a result of the romance. 

Right now the ol' HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS isnt happening at all and wont unless YOU or HE BREAKS the cycle of resentment. 

Before all the crap it was amazing no?

You gotta break that cycle or forget it.

Thats it. That is all that will do it. 

It doesnt always work. I already know that. You really dont need to hijack the post by repetitious "but my spouse was neglected so long even this wont work" responses. I got it. Its hopeless for you. GOT IT. 

This is however, the only thing that WILL work if its NOT TOO LATE. 

If it is too late, I cant help you. 

When one side of the marriage is changed the other side will change also unless it is so far gone its too late. I DO NOT have an answer for those folks. Sorry.

Now all you naysayers that flatly REFUSE to help yourselves with an absolutely flawless commitment to dumping ALL RESENTMENT and meeting your spouses needs consistently. 

You can pile crap on top of this proven technique for saving marriages that are not too far gone. 

You can flame me for being a total screwball or whatever other naysayer crap you embrace but it doesnt change the fact marriages get saved every day by ...

REIGNITING THE PASSIONS & ENTHUSIASM for sharing a life with the one you loved while DUMPING ALL RESENTMENT TOTALLY. 

Husbands and wives shut down emotionally from neglect of their needs. Either its too late or its not too late. If it isnt, this is the way out. Otherwise its doom. Sorry 'bout that. 

the most common naysayer refusal is TO GO FIRST because it WONT WORK or i ALREADY TRIED THAT or they dont DESERVE it. Well to hell with it then? OK SOLD. No matter what you believe YOURE RIGHT!

Peace


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## SockPuppet (May 16, 2011)

YupItsMe said:


> It doesnt always work. I already know that. You really dont need to hijack the post by repetitious *"but my spouse was neglected so long even this wont work" responses.* I got it. Its hopeless for you. GOT IT.


But my spouse really has been neglected for so long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




j/k. Awesome post, truly agree, and worthy of a bump.


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## Sawney Beane (May 1, 2011)

YupItsMe said:


> One of you has to go first


We have a winner!
The idea that no-one wins in a mexican standoff just doesn't seem to get through to some people. Someone has to make a move! Keep telling people this!



> REIGNITING THE PASSIONS & ENTHUSIASM for sharing a life with the one you loved while DUMPING ALL RESENTMENT TOTALLY.


Does this work if only one person does it? Is it predicated on the other person following once the first person has jumped?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

My wife has been in a psych hospital for the last 7 days but should get out today. I do try to meet her needs and I actually do just about everything for her except breath. I'm not God. I can't change her brain chemistry or her hormones. Your advise is great for those to whom it applies. There are others out here who are dealing with actual illnesses that are beyond their control. Right now, my goal is not sex but just to be able to have my wife live some kind of decent, independent life. 
Resentment is poison and doesn't benefit anyone. I agree. We are all human, though, and it'd be pretty difficult to live for years in a completely one-sided relationship without picking up some resentment.


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

Sawney Beane said:


> The idea that no-one wins in a mexican standoff just doesn't seem to get through to some people. Someone has to make a move! Keep telling people this!
> 
> :iagree:
> 
> Does this work if only one person does it? Is it predicated on the other person following once the first person has jumped?


Yes, sometimes and it did in my case. (a case of neglecting my wifes needs and her reaction in kind to THEN neglect mine (Cause and effect)) 

Several published authors of marriage saving books and published web articles advocate the CAUSE AND EFFECT concept saving marriage with your own actions without the cooperation of the spouse. (manning up and the 180 are cause and effect concepts) The spouses attraction is reignited by making yourself more attractive. CAUSE AND EFFECT.

It made sense to me so I tried it after trying to get cooperation of my resentful and suspicious spouse by request and communication failed.

Again, it does not always work if its too late or there are underlying issues beyond neglect of needs but I believe it is the ONLY HOPE if it is NOT too late.

I completely acknowledge there are several cases where this does not work but in the most common case that a man stopped romancing his wife and she cut him off sexually and the sprial of resentment builds up a thick cold wall around the heart, it can work if its not too late. 

You must ignite the warm inner glow inside your spouse by dumping all resentment and getting the sincere romance going at the right speed and consistency to melt away the ice around the heart


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

It's true! It works! I'm living proof! I have been initiating daily and whoa.... My husband is the happiest man on this planet! He's deserved this along time ago with everything he does for me. I finally woke up a few months ago and educating myself of a man's needs, I realized what I needed to do. Plus, I've learned I love it just as much as he, if not MORE! We now are reconnected on both an emotional and physical level. It's the best feeling in the world! I'm so in love with my hubby! It's even better now then it was 12-13 years ago.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2sick (Nov 5, 2010)

YupItsMe said:


> One of you has to go first
> 
> Either you start to put out like a newlywed in heat and he will come around and romance the hell out of you as a reaction to your sexual ways or he starts romancing the **** out of you and you WANT him and JUMP him like a newlywed in heat as a result of the romance.
> 
> ...


OMG! I was just saying that to my h!!! I even went one step further. I said go back to when we were dating! What did you do to get me and what did I do to get you to want me! The joke was WWDHD (what would dating h do). I think you should post the stats of all the people who tried this for a week and what were the results!!! 

I think you are 100% correct! Both spouses become comfortable, settled or just lazy. Yup it might take a little work, but nothing good comes easy...otherwise we'd all be millionaires with drop dead bodies!:rofl:

Hope your post starts a Revelation...not revolution! :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> My wife has been in a psych hospital for the last 7 days but should get out today. I do try to meet her needs and I actually do just about everything for her except breath. I'm not God. I can't change her brain chemistry or her hormones. Your advise is great for those to whom it applies. There are others out here who are dealing with actual illnesses that are beyond their control. Right now, my goal is not sex but just to be able to have my wife live some kind of decent, independent life.
> Resentment is poison and doesn't benefit anyone. I agree. We are all human, though, and it'd be pretty difficult to live for years in a completely one-sided relationship without picking up some resentment.


:iagree: and wish you well in your noble efforts


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby said:


> It's true! It works! I'm living proof! I have been initiating daily and whoa.... My husband is the happiest man on this planet! He's deserved this along time ago with everything he does for me. I finally woke up a few months ago and educating myself of a man's needs, I realized what I needed to do.
> 
> _*Bravo. Thats what I did. I hope we can reach a few naysayers that flatly deny any hope of it working.
> 
> ...


Me too! So happy for you!


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

2sick said:


> I think you should post the stats of all the people who tried this for a week and what were the results!!!
> 
> _*With all due respect and support to you, I think a consistent three months is minimum for the extra cold hearts out there but the results are NOTICEABLE very quickly. Sometimes instantly from the indescribable CRAVING for a morsel of kindness from our spouses *_
> 
> ...


Me too but from experience the naysayers will be arriving soon to tell us

1. ITS NOT FAIR
2. WHY SHOULD I
3. SCREW HIM/SCREW HER
4. TOO ONE SIDED
5. IM DIFFERENT
6. SHES DIFFERENT

In some cases some of that is true for example 

1. Addiction
2. Mental illness inlcuding anger, depression, narcissism
3. Too late
4. Lack of integrity

But more often the problem is neglect from IGNORANCE of your spouses needs because there is no FORMAL GENDER NEEDS TRAINING FOR SPOUSES that is reality based and tested. you must learn it on your own here and elsewhere throughout the marriage saving industry and wise counsel from those that cracked the code.

This is the solvable marital trick box. Its a puzzle. You have the solution. Dont blow it off!


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I'm going to try my best to employ your strategy of releasing all resentment. Even if it doesn't improve my sex life, there's no value in dragging that old crap around anyway. 
It'd be a lot easier to provide what my wife needed if I knew what that was. I don't suffer from depression or bi-polar and she can't clearly articulate her needs to me. I understand emotions only from my own experiences unless I learn from some other source. She's got a myriad of doctors and I've heard "depression", "Bi-polar", "PTSD", etc, etc, etc. I don't really know what I'm dealing with, exactly, or whether I should zig or zag. 
For those who are just withholding sex because you're pissed about some old offense, real or imagined, let that crap go and get back to the business of living. Life is too short. You're punishing yourself as much as you're punishing your mate. You either both win or you both lose.


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

2sick said:


> I even went one step further. I said go back to when we were dating! What did you do to get me and what did I do to get you to want me! The joke was WWDHD (what would dating h do).


Best thing in this thread :iagree::rofl::smthumbup:

Want marital bliss? Be a dating H aka WWDHD 

You might not get it but without being a dating H aka WWDHD you definitely wont


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> I'm going to try my best to employ your strategy of releasing all resentment. Even if it doesn't improve my sex life, there's no value in dragging that old crap around anyway.
> 
> _*:iagree: Bravo! :smthumbup:*_
> 
> ...


:iagree:


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

This is going to be difficult. My wife absolutely doesn't care for romance and even scoffs at it. I get positively no reaction from romantic gestures of any form. Not to put a wet blanket on the idea because I think it's great and would probably work for most folks.


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## YupItsMe (Sep 29, 2011)

unbelievable said:


> This is going to be difficult. My wife absolutely doesn't care for romance and even scoffs at it. I get positively no reaction from romantic gestures of any form. Not to put a wet blanket on the idea because I think it's great and would probably work for most folks.


Read about love languaages. Hers may be different. Perhaps others can chime in on that. Before you begin, I think understanding her love language is vital. 

In my case, my wifes love language was easily understood by me, I just didnt know how important it was to speak it daily. 

Perhaps this definition of romance will help. romance is doing what lights the warm inner glow inside her. Perhaps its volunterring at a soup kitchen together or doing crafts or special books. 

Before you move forward, you gottas cvrack that code. hat is romance to her. 

Otherwise your efforts can be futile. 

What does she like?

Oh nad dont tell yourself its difficult. Its just a puzzle.


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## 2sick (Nov 5, 2010)

YupItsMe said:


> :iagree:
> Mine couldnt either and she is articulate and very intelligent, I just didnt get it. I had to read about it, Here are some biggies to employ right away.
> 
> 1. Hot pursuit like you did when you were chasing her. Chase her. Wives call it romance.
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

MEN if you could just do these three steps I am 100000% sure that at least 99.9% (some out there just can't be happy or don't want to make anyone happy, but out side of those) of the women out there WILL BE putty in your hands... and will do WHATEVER it takes to make you the happiest man in the world!!!!!! PROMISE!!!!! hint hint hint h if ya reading!!!


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

I'm very impressed. And I agree with this. 
Great advice.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

She says she likes me to rub her back, go for walks with her, or take her for a ride on the motorcycle. I do all three almost daily but there's never a reaction from her. Maybe once she gets home from the hospital today things will make a little more sense. 
A couple weeks ago, in frustration, I did ask her straight out how she felt about me. She replied that I was the only person who would "do" anything for her. I guess she regards me as some sort of caregiver or servant. She does spend a lot of time asking me to get this or do that for her. As far as any affectionate or romantic response from her, though, I'm pretty much invisible.


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## Tall Average Guy (Jul 26, 2011)

2sick said:


> OMG! I was just saying that to my h!!! I even went one step further. I said go back to when we were dating! What did you do to get me and what did I do to get you to want me! The joke was WWDHD (what would dating h do). I think you should post the stats of all the people who tried this for a week and what were the results!!!
> 
> I think you are 100% correct! Both spouses become comfortable, settled or just lazy. Yup it might take a little work, but nothing good comes easy...otherwise we'd all be millionaires with drop dead bodies!:rofl:
> 
> Hope your post starts a Revelation...not revolution! :smthumbup::smthumbup::smthumbup:


:iagree::iagree:

I know this has worked very well for my wife and I. When you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. For most couples, our spouses married us because what we did attracted them and turned them on. What we were was attractive to them. So start working back to be more like that person and more like that couple. You already have a head start.

For me, that meant dates that were fun. Romance is good, but that is not the only thing we did when we were dating/newly married. We had fun dates, where we played mini-golf, or went to the grown-up arcade, or a ball game, or roller-blading or what ever. We did stuff that allowed us to be a couple, to be him and her, and not just be parents. The point is, date your spouse.

I also worked to be a bit more like the guy I was when we were dating. More fun, and less stressed about stuff. Doing some of the things I liked to do and being confident about doing them. My wife has reacted very well, and I think we are having more fun together than ever (both inside the bedroom and outside it).


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## 2sick (Nov 5, 2010)

Tall Average Guy said:


> :iagree::iagree:
> 
> I know this has worked very well for my wife and I. When you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. For most couples, our spouses married us because what we did attracted them and turned them on. What we were was attractive to them. So start working back to be more like that person and more like that couple. You already have a head start.
> 
> ...


Too cool!!! And I bet its even better now since you truly know each other!!! Comfort and excitement all in one!!!!


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## unsure78 (Oct 17, 2011)

So i have been trying this technique with my husband for the last month and 1/2 right after he gave me we have no connection anymore and wanted to leave- Bedroom activities have been great- in fact better than ever! I am doing the initiating but once I get him going things go great ( but i did most of the initiating previously so not that unusual)- but outside the bedroom things dont seem to be keeping the same pace- he is not really responsive to any affection and is not giving any- we are talking and laughing more and he seems to be slowly opening up about a few things- but all seems so hot and cold- ( fyi he is a poor communicator) 
Should I just continue like a newlywed in heat and hope the rest outside the bedroom eventually catches up or is this just sex and nothing more?


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