# Cloudy days



## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

As much as I try to blow away the clouds to see sunshine I still have bouts with sadness and emptyness. Sometimes they can last a week or more. This bout has been at least a week.

I was venting my feelings the other night and the best way I could describe myself was hallow. I really do not have much feeling insdie other than some that upset me because I wasn't busy and that makes me feel lazy.

That process can not possibly be good. It has to stop at some point. I have to figure out something. I'm in such debt that I think about 24 months from now when my oldest drops off child support and then beat myself up for looking to far in the future. In 24 months I'll be pissed I wasted her HS years thinking about money. Viscious cycle I guess.

I told the girl I'm seeing, I go through the day wondering if the kids are having a good day or if there is food in the fridge for dinner. On days I'm not busy I try and figure out how I can fill up the rest of the nights in the week to get to a weekend. When the weekend comes I just kind of coast through it and the process starts over again. And now I've added a second person (her) to this mess I call myself. It was a long talk and she was supportive. She thanked me for sharing. she questioned where all this was going. I don't know where it is going and told her so. I want to be as open and honest about myself and where she fits in with that. I think she appreciates it but also hurts a little to hear. 

I'm done venting. Thanks for the ear.

Shoeguy


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## WomanScorned (May 8, 2011)

I can so relate! I spend my weeks surviving. Weekends are better because I get to see my boyfriend and do some self-exploration. I don't have time during the week to work on me as I have young kids at home. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I get how you feel!


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

Shoeguy, as usual we are living parallel lives. I almost posted the exact same things on my thread but you summarized it pretty well. 

Better days ahead.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

If you get it figured out, let us all know!


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Joining the thread to let ya know Ive been a bit on the down side of late too. Miss that sense of belonging to something.


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## Shoeguy (Jun 23, 2011)

Hey Shoo,

Yep been kind of bad. Since the start of the thread... I've had such a bad week it isn't funny.

One of my life long freinds told me his wife told him she wanted a divorce. WTF seemingly getting closer to filing bk. Ex giving me crap becasue the gilrs missed some service hour thing this past weekend and told my youngest I couldn't afford to let her show her horse this weekend.

Wierd thing is I feel better for some reason. Maybe these big issues just give me something to focus some energy on. Heck if I know. 

I'm tired of trying to figure it all out. Calgon take me away!

Shoeguy


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## Shooboomafoo (Mar 30, 2011)

Maaaan,,
Dropped my kid off at her moms this past friday morning, and havent heard a word from her since. Ive sent txt msgs and tried to call her. When she first got her phone she would contact me daily.. 
This job has still been a real downer, and im not liking the lack of direction I see right now. Feel like I am kind of floating along for now, and part of me thinks that its alright, but I am also pretty darned lonesome.. I miss belonging to something. 

I had a good friend of mine walk away from his wife and 2 year old son recently. He met some skank in a gym he was going to, and off his rocker he went.. 
I had a girlfriend from a very long time ago contact me, but she just got married, so WTF do you want to go to lunch with me for???
Thats what my ex used to do... go to those "seemingly innocent" lunches with other men.. .I guess all my complaints werent bullsh!t afterall.


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## Paradise (Dec 16, 2011)

@ SHoo....Why don't you put your resume together and start looking for a job? Never know, man. You may not find much but then again you might find something that is new and can provide a spark. 

Why hasn't your daughter contacted you? Do you think your ex holds the phone or deletes the messages? That sounds like something my ex would do. Why don't you txt your ex and tell her to have your daughter call you? I would have a real hard time going that long without talking to my kiddo. Just don't make the kid feel bad for not calling or txting back. She may be a bit confused by something. 

@ Shoe....Hang in there, dude! You are going to be fine. 

ANd what is up with all of the divorces?


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Hey, guys, if you are having trouble concentrating on anything other than how you feel and the divorce/separation, talk to a medical doctor. Inability to concentrate can signal a depression.

The other thing that has helped me at times like this is doing puzzles of some type to keep me moderately focused. Doesn't matter what you do, but it should require some mental discipline--Suduko (sp?), Jumble, crossword, even playing solitaire (I play mine on my phone). Be sure to exercise--walking is just fine if you have a pretty place and will be able to focus on how it looks.

Two steps forward, one step back--that's what healing is like. I hope you all find ways to ease your pain during this time. It will get better.


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