# Have i fallen out of love or is it a blip?



## don'tknowwhy (Nov 29, 2011)

I am 33 and have been married for 12 years. Since the birth of our second child (5 years ago) we have drifted apart slowly. We both work full time and we have become a tag team. I go to bed early while he stays up. I am out weekdays at work, and usually a couple of nights a week at netball and work events. He works shifts including nights and weekends.
everyone tells me you have to make time for each other but when i know we are going to be alone, I panic. I feel sick, i create arguments to avoid it or go out. We have had sex 5 times in 3 years (or so my husband tells me). Sex is not good. He iritates me and I am pretty sure I do the same to him. 
We imploded 3 months ago when in the heat of an argument I said I wasn't sure if I was still in love with him! I don't know if this is true but I know that i feel awkward around him. I dread being alone with him. I cringe when he touches me. He has become very clingy and over-the-top with affection. He is constantly telling me that I am holding his life in my hands and that i have given him a life sentance! The guilt and pressure is unbearable. He makes me feel like the biggest cow in the world.
I love my kids more than anything and don't want to ruin their life too. 
How do I know if this will pass? Am i being selfish? Should i just sleep with him and pretend, hoping that it will eventually right itself?


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

You have lots of questions about yourself. See a counselor and start digging into "you" and find those answers. Be sure to tell your H that you are going to do this, and that it will take time to make some progress. He should be supportive in knowing you are working on things.


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## ACQMAN (Nov 29, 2011)

It actually sounds like your mind is made up already (by reading your post). Know that your children will be better off in life with a happy mother and father, and not two miserable people. Personally, I would not want the kids to grow up thinking that the dynamic between the two of you is healthy. Seriously, so many people "stay together for the kids" and it's the farthest thing that is right for them. 

If you're really not sure, send me a message I have a resource available that may help you decide. Talk soon.


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