# Husband Overwhelmed by my Family



## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

...and to be honest I am sometimes too!

I'm looking for suggestions and constructive ideas. I am from a very large, close knit, family. For the sake of not identifying myself let's just say there are over 6 children and now there are double that of grandkids (our kids are in their early 20's) and the next generation will be starting to marry and there will be many big family gatherings and events that take place in the next several years.

H is an introvert. We've been married for over twenty years so my family knows this and accepts it. For years I felt like I fought hard to be a good mediator between my family (and friend's) expectations and my H's needs.
There have been a lot of bumps in the road and I haven't always understood his plight. But over time I have acquired grace and understanding for his need for space. That even just during regular life he needs buffers of down time in between social energy expenditures.

There is a caveat to his introversion that complicates everything; he is very gregarious and outgoing and friendly in a group setting. He's often the life of the party and people are constantly drawn to him. In times past he has done things like openly invite people over, in front of other people, then end up inviting everyone and later when I question him he's like, I don't know why I did that, I felt like I had to!
Or he will openly connect with someone on a common interest and make them feel like he is their best friend when he often tells me that he had plenty of friends and does not want to create more.

He has confused me many times with this seemingly dual-personality...though he is now a lot more aware of it. He tries really hard to not kick into overdrive when in a social setting. Sometimes I'll say something and he will notice and try to reign it in.

So anyway, the biggest problem has been balance when there are family events. I have learned a lot through self-help books and counseling on how to stand up for my own needs with my family. (They aren't overbearing just much more extroverted and energetic than I am and I had guilt about being different.) The problem H and I constantly run into is communication with each other. His needs are different than mine and I might feel like I can handle more and if I check with him to see if we need to start sending people home, he's like yeah I'm doing fine. But later he's totally wiped out and mad that I didn't just know that he needed it to end. 

The main issue with family is that when we host a couple of my out of town siblings all the rest will stop in and hang out after the event to visit and enjoy each other's company at our house, because we're the fun place to be! (This is in no small part due to my H who truly IS a great host.)
I like this! And my family understands that H needs his space. They are fine with him going in another room and having some downtime. But HE is not ok with it. He can't relax unless everyone is gone. 

So, I would love to hear from others who are introverted how to give my H what he needs even though he isn't direct with me in the moment. 
And also what's the common opinion on who is responsible for what in this kind of situation. I get upset at H because he isn't honest. Never says to anyone that he's ready to wrap up. Never says no it's not a good night for me. Never tells me a time or a measurable way to know how to direct the evening....just assumes that when he says certain things that I know what he means and then gets mad at ME for something that was not concretely communicated.

Like the last time this happened I told him after two days of non-stop family-ing I was 'worn out' and he asked what that meant, I said I just don't want to cook or host anymore, if people come over (the second day of festivities) maybe they can order pizza or something. 

Later he was irate with me because I sat and talked with a sibling for an hour one-on-one after everyone else left. The house was quiet and my H had already gone in another room to be alone. 

When we talked about it later he said that when I told him I was 'worn out' he thought that meant that after the family left at 'x' time that we would have some time together. And when I chose to chat with my sib that I was purposely choosing him over H.

I have no clue where he got that from my above explanation of me being 'worn out'. Clearly he applied his own meaning to it, which if he would've said, "hey, when everyone leaves at 'x' time can we call it a day and have some time together."
I would've totally complied. 


Should we sit down and make a schedule when family comes? 

I think (and I could be totally wrong) the bottom line is that he feels bad for needing the limits and boundaries so he tries to be the good guy, the social guy,and keeps hoping it will 'be enough' but the people just like being here more. He tries to take on more than he can hack just for me, and then gets mad when I don't realize he's maxed out.

Thoughts?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds to me like you just wants things his way and assumes that you are a mind reader and know what he wants.

He needs to learn to communicate with you a lot better.

I think that the two of talking and making a plan before family comes over is a wise idea.


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

@EleGirl Yeah, that's what it feels like. But I am always wondering if people just come to the same conclusion as me because that's how I presented it. 

Any thoughts on logistics with my family? 
Big events happen with my family about two or three times a year so I just usually go as long as I can and do as much as I can when they are all here. I get worn out but I figure that it's just 'x' amount of days and then it's back to regular life.
But the truth is our life is pretty busy and if it's not family it's something else. So my attitude of 'let's just get through this and milk it for all it's worth' may be unfair to H who has to deal with work all week. (I'm a stay-at-home mom with older children)


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

tigerlily99 said:


> @EleGirl Yeah, that's what it feels like. But I am always wondering if people just come to the same conclusion as me because that's how I presented it.


There is some truth to the idea that they way you present something will often influence how others interpret the situation. But it is also true that your view of things and your feelings are as important/valid as are his. There is your side of things, his side and the truth. That does not mean that either of you would be lying. It means that you both have your own perception. 
This is why the two of you talking about how these visits are going to be handled before hand is so important. You two need to come to an consensus. That done by listening to each other and compromising. I read once that if each person in a marriage made it their focus to make sure that the other had what they wanted/needed that it would be a very happy marriage. Instead in marriage, people often focus on what they need. It also does not work well when one spouse is focused on the other’s needs. And that other spouse is also only focused on their own needs.


tigerlily99 said:


> Any thoughts on logistics with my family?


Logistics with your family? Sure, talk about it and agree beforehand. For example, a good rule to set would be that the second day is always pizza ordered in.


tigerlily99 said:


> Big events happen with my family about two or three times a year so I just usually go as long as I can and do as much as I can when they are all here. I get worn out but I figure that it's just 'x' amount of days and then it's back to regular life.


So come up with things to make it easier. For example, order in pizza on day two. Plan ahead and make things in advice. For example, for breakfast, quiche can be made ahead and time and frozen. So breakfast is quiche, fruit tea and coffee.

I don’t know what all you two do with your family, but prepare as much as you can in the months between and freeze it. Then just thaw and maybe heat when you have company.

Or order from a deli.. like a cheese and meat tray, potato salad and some good rolls. Let people make their own sandwiches.


tigerlily99 said:


> But the truth is our life is pretty busy and if it's not family it's something else. So my attitude of 'let's just get through this and milk it for all it's worth' may be unfair to H who has to deal with work all week. (I'm a stay-at-home mom with older children)


I’m not sure what you mean by “let’s just get through this and milk it for all it’s worth”, you will need to provide some examples of situations where that applies.


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## IamSomebody (Nov 21, 2014)

Sounds like you don't have much outside interaction so you crave it while H has it all day and wants down time. Have you considered getting a part-time job to get you out among other adults?

Also, when you have out-of-town siblings stay with you, why can't everyone meet up at another local sibling's place? Is there a reason why the out-of-town siblings can't stay with another sibling once in a while instead of always with you. Does everyone share in the food costs or do you and DH bear all that alone?

When you said you were "worn out" I don't understand why you would then spend another hour chatting it up with a sibling.

Do these family celebrations go on endlessly or are they kept to a reasonable timeframe? DH may be more inclined to participate if they didn't continue endlessly and if another of your siblings hosted once in a while.

IamSomebody


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> There is some truth to the idea that they way you present something will often influence how others interpret the situation. But it is also true that your view of things and your feelings are as important/valid as are his. There is your side of things, his side and the truth. That does not mean that either of you would be lying. It means that you both have your own perception.


 

I appreciate this explanation. It is nice because it helps me realize that my viewpoint is still valid even if we don't agree. Thank you.







EleGirl said:


> I don’t know what all you two do with your family, but prepare as much as you can in the months between and freeze it. Then just thaw and maybe heat when you have company.
> 
> 
> 
> Or order from a deli.. like a cheese and meat tray, potato salad and some good rolls. Let people make their own sandwiches.


Those are good ideas to help me! H is more worried about the stress he feels if having all those people around. 







EleGirl said:


> I’m not sure what you mean by “let’s just get through this and milk it for all it’s worth”, you will need to provide some examples of situations where that applies.



What I mean by that is like, even though I was wiped out because I don't always get to see my siblings I just spend as much time with them as possible when they are here.

I do have strong boundaries with the family that lives near me, but with events I just get as much visiting time out of it as I can!

An example of 'milking it for all it's worth' would be sitting and talking to my sib for two hours after everyone else left instead of telling him I'm tired and ending it.

(Which I did apologize to my H for doing.)


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

IamSomebody said:


> Sounds like you don't have much outside interaction so you crave it while H has it all day and wants down time. Have you considered getting a part-time job to get you out among other adults?


No that's not the case in our situation. H works remotely from home and I am very busy with lots of volunteer work that allows me more than enough adult time. 
But I could see where you would think that.

The family thing is often also overwhelming to me too because I do have a busy life, but when it comes to family I do have a very hard time saying no.





IamSomebody said:


> Also, when you have out-of-town siblings stay with you, why can't everyone meet up at another local sibling's place? Is there a reason why the out-of-town siblings can't stay with another sibling once in a while instead of always with you. Does everyone share in the food costs or do you and DH bear all that alone?


Yes! This is something my H says all the time! But we are the fun place. So for example, we divide out all of the family among the ones who live here and then later everyone stops in at our house for after dinner visiting. 

I think you're onto something though, to plan out a head of time a schedule of sorts for alternating 'hang out' time. 

It's so simple, but H and I struggle with simple communications in this area. 





IamSomebody said:


> When you said you were "worn out" I don't understand why you would then spend another hour chatting it up with a sibling.


Please see my response above to EleGirl about that.





IamSomebody said:


> Do these family celebrations go on endlessly or are they kept to a reasonable timeframe? DH may be more inclined to participate if they didn't continue endlessly and if another of your siblings hosted once in a while.




They have a tendency to go on for long amounts of time. And since I've had the attitude of 'milking it for all it's worth' I don't try to intervene. 
Since H struggles with these things I am very flexible with him about leaving the event early to go home and have downtime while the house is empty, or locking himself away to play games in another room. I try to be on his side and let him do what he needs to do to take care of himself without any judgements or expectations. 

What I have a problem with is that he expects me to take care of him and accommodate him emotionally and when a communication breakdown occurs I am blamed for choosing my family over him and he's angry at me for 2 days afterward.

That's the part I want to rectify.

Even if it means no one stays at our house anymore. But the problem is he doesn't want anyone to know that it's him. He doesn't want to be the bad guy or look like he isn't social. 

So the problem is not the events so much as a total wreck of communication between H and me during these events.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

Good feedback from the other posters. There needs to be more communication and scheduling agreements between you and him regarding when people will be over, how long they will stay, etc. And choose a specific end time, and make sure that this is communicated to your family so they understand that there is a time for them to bow out. If they need to continue the party, they can move the party to another sibling's home.

You also need to have a long discussion with hubs about this whole "you're prioritizing the family over me" argument he has. It's important that you validate his feelings, but he's also being a little unreasonable and demanding on this front. Find a way to explain to him, in a way he will understand, that you love your family dearly and don't get to see them on a regular basis, so when they are in town, you need to prioritize them as well. In the moment, while they are in town, they may take priority over him. That doesn't mean he is any less important to you, but you wish that he would respect your need to maintain a strong and close relationship with your family, and this is how you can do that. This is an important need for you, and as your spouse, you would like his support in this. 

A good way to make sure that he knows he is still a priority for you is to schedule some time in these busy weekends that is for just the two of you, so that he doesn't feel like he's being neglected--this will also give you some time to get a break. And I do think he has a point about continuing to spend one-on-one time with a sibling after everyone had left, when he thought the two of you should be spending some time together. In his shoes, I also would have been upset at this.

He may be looking at it in this way: during these marathon visits, you won't say "no" to your family, but you're continually saying "no" to him. In that moment, with the sibling, you could have chosen to say, "I would love to talk more one-on-one with you, but this has been a really long day, and I need some time alone with Hubs," but you didn't. Just think how he would feel if you came into the room and told him that you told your sibling that... he would be over the moon! OK, maybe not over the moon, but I think it would go a long way.

Conversely, he also needs to learn how to communicate his needs to you in a healthy way, and by needs, I'm specifically talking about how he needs to be honest with you when you ask if we need to be sending people home, and stuff like that. It's unfair of him to expect you to be a mind reader. Now, he may not realize that he's overwhelmed until he's gone far past that point, and then it hits him like a brick wall. He may have some "tells" that indicate that he's starting to crash, but doesn't realize it. If you can figure those out, and watch for them, and then you can head him off at the pass.

For example, my paramour needs to have a mid-day nap. He works for himself, and he works from home, so pretty much every day he works in a nap at some point in the afternoon. He NEEDS his nap, and he gets REALLY cranky if he doesn't get a nap, even downright mean sometimes. This was really hard for me to grasp, because while I love naps, I don't have that luxury because I work 9-5, sometimes longer, and then I'll have stuff to do at night. So I just power through. I've learned the signs for when he is getting to the point where he needs his nap--conversation will seem a little more forced, his responses are shorter and he can get a little bit snippy. So when we travel together, I don't plan too much for the mid-late afternoons, and keep it flexible, so when he starts getting snippy, we can head back to the hotel. He takes a nap, I go to the pool, read, or sometimes nap with him. He tries to push through for me, because he knows I like to pack as much stuff in as possible, but honestly, if he's going to be a grump, it's just not fun anyway. I would rather curb/tweak my travel plans slightly to have a more enjoyable trip with FUN memories instead of memories of FIGHTING.

My point is, figure out his tells, and try to schedule around them. I know you want to spend as much time as you can with your siblings, but if you and Hubs are at odds over this and fighting during the visit, you're not going to have positive memories--all you will remember is the fighting when all is said and done. Just figure out where you can tweak, and eliminate the potential for conflict, and things will get better. I also think his attitude will change when he realizes that you're making an effort to make sure this is a positive experience for him. (My partner's attitude certainly changed on our first trip when he realized I was tweaking the schedule to make sure he was happy, too. The first time I asked him, "Hey, are you OK? You're pretty much done with walking around and doing stuff now, aren't you? Do you want to go back to the hotel?" he was blown away that I was paying close attention to how he was experiencing everything, too. After that, he was much more enthusiastic about literally everything I proposed.)


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

Sometimes alot of this can be brought on by if they are overly critical of him. Have you heard what they talk about and is the need for him the have "alone time" caused by him getting picked at. I know that happened to me all the time to the point all I wanted was to be able to get the hell out of there during holidays. I had to put on a show that I liked being with them but in reality I hated it. 

Maybe ask what your H was talking to them about would help. Maybe there are were talking to him about stuff that angered hi.


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

FeministInPink said:


> Good feedback from the other posters. There needs to be more communication and scheduling agreements between you and him...


I agree thank you all for taking the time to give your thoughts on this issue. 
I know in the end that it's definitely communication and insecurity that is the problem. And since it's a touchy subject our communication gets sketchy. 



FeministInPink said:


> And I do think he has a point about continuing to spend one-on-one time with a sibling after everyone had left, when he thought the two of you should be spending some time together. In his shoes, I also would have been upset at this.


I do recognize that I could've handled this better. I did apologize several times for hurting H by that extra time and also told him that it wasn't intentional at all to leave my phone on the table. I agree that he needs to be able to check in with me via text so he doesn't have to admit in front of everyone mid-party that he's ready to wrap up. So in the future I will make sure I pay close attention to my phone and also check in with him.





FeministInPink said:


> He may be looking at it in this way: during these marathon visits, you won't say "no" to your family, but you're continually saying "no" to him.


I hadn't really seen it that way. It may be true. I never really thought that he was wanting to spend time with me, just that he needed to be alone. I think that's where a miscommunication happened in this situation. I thought he was happy just to be alone with no guilt.





FeministInPink said:


> Conversely, he also needs to learn how to communicate his needs to you in a healthy way, and by needs, I'm specifically talking about how he needs to be honest with you when you ask if we need to be sending people home, and stuff like that. It's unfair of him to expect you to be a mind reader. Now, he may not realize that he's overwhelmed until he's gone far past that point, and then it hits him like a brick wall. He may have some "tells" that indicate that he's starting to crash, but doesn't realize it. If you can figure those out, and watch for them, and then you can head him off at the pass.


I appreciate this and I hope that we can get to that point. I wish he realized how confusing he is. And that a miscommunication is usually just that, not me choosing something over him because I hate him or something. He can be very dramatic. 
Today when we discussed this (again) he said that I had 'ripped out his heart and stomped on it and laughed.'
I was thoroughly and utterly confused by him feeling that intense about this issue. I did nothing but try and accommodate and love him and be flexible for him during the whole event. How could he think that I intentionally was trying to hurt him and forget all of my efforts previously?

I get that it (spending those last two hours with my sibling) was a bad choice on my part. I accept that. But sheesh.






FeministInPink said:


> For example, my paramour needs to have a mid-day nap.....



I loved your story of vacationing and scheduling in nap times. You are a good partner and your paramour a blessed man who is wise to appreciate and recognize your efforts. 

I hope someday that will be a similar story for H and I.


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

jb02157 said:


> Sometimes alot of this can be brought on by if they are overly critical of him. Have you heard what they talk about and is the need for him the have "alone time" caused by him getting picked at.




I appreciate this perspective. It shows compassion and also your experience gives you an insight.

My answer is yes and no. (About them being critical of him)

My family as a whole has been very extroverted. Group oriented, loud and boisterous (in a fun way). In the early years there was no file for being an introvert so yes, they didn't understand and at times teased H for needing to retreat. (Esp since he has a very boisterous side himself and is the life of any gathering)
I myself did not understand his need to have alone time and just thought he was addicted to his games.

But in the last 5-7 years that understanding has changed dramatically. I learned that H is a very strong introvert (gets his energy from being alone and is drained by social gatherings) Even I am closer to being an introvert than an extrovert and that's why I never felt like I was understood either. 
(We took and studied the Briggs and Meyers personality tests together and spent a lot of time studying that.)

H and I have grown in our understanding of this stuff and I stand up for him. We as a family love to discuss these kinds of things and it turns out that there are more secret introverts in my family than I thought! 

So anyway, acceptance of H's need to retreat is at an all time high and he is no longer teased at all about it. Just loved and supported.

That being said, I think he still feels bad about it. Like he wishes he were different? 
I'm not really sure.

He is very loved and respected I my family. Hence the desire to all be at our house!


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## Andy1001 (Jun 29, 2016)

tigerlily99 said:


> I appreciate this perspective. It shows compassion and also your experience gives you an insight.
> 
> My answer is yes and no. (About them being critical of him)
> 
> ...


I think you are making your husband very uncomfortable with these regular family shindigs.You say your house is the "fun" place to meet up but fifty percent of the occupants don't see it like that.How can you say your family have no problem with him leaving to go to another room,it's his ****ing house and it's them who should have the decency to take the hint and leave.You have more family in the area,for the next year or so have your parties at their houses.I think your husband has been very patient with you and your family and it's time you gave him some respect in his own home.Also you have seen them belittle him and took long enough to stand up to them.How humiliating for any man to be ganged up on by his wife's family and she stands by and allows it.


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## Edward333 (Feb 13, 2017)

Andy1001 said:


> I think you are making your husband very uncomfortable with these regular family shindigs.You say your house is the "fun" place to meet up but fifty percent of the occupants don't see it like that.*How can you say your family have no problem with him leaving to go to another room,it's his ****ing house and it's them who should have the decency to take the hint and leave.*You have more family in the area,for the next year or so have your parties at their houses.*I think your husband has been very patient with you and your family and it's time you gave him some respect in his own home.*Also you have seen them belittle him and took long enough to stand up to them.How humiliating for any man to be ganged up on by his wife's family and she stands by and allows it.



BINGO!:smthumbup:

WE HAVE A WINNER!


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## jb02157 (Apr 16, 2014)

tigerlily99 said:


> I appreciate this perspective. It shows compassion and also your experience gives you an insight.
> 
> My answer is yes and no. (About them being critical of him)
> 
> ...


I'm glad to hear this. I'm also a very strong introvert and after a long family get together with my wife's family about a couple of hours is all I can stand, but that's obviously exacerbated by being verbally attacked the whole time. 

I used to think the the Briggs and Meyers test wasn't worth the paper it was written on but it did bring up why I felt I needed to "recharge" at family get togethers. I actually came out as weakly introverted on the test but I know it's more extreme then that.

If her family was more like your family, excepting and loving me as your family does for your H, it would make things much easier. I do wish I were different and was more extroverted but that's just not me.

I do think that it would be alot for your H to handle having your family over and I can see that he would feel he needs to overcompensate being more extroverted than he normally is. I know that you feel it's fun to have the family over but you have think about what a toll that takes on your H. I know that it's not optimal but it may be asking him to do more to do more than he can handle. I would be hard pressed doing that as well, but that's only I know that I would be picked at because our house doesn't measure up to their standards.


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

Andy1001 said:


> I think you are making your husband very uncomfortable with these regular family shindigs.You say your house is the "fun" place to meet up but fifty percent of the occupants don't see it like that....




That's true about the 50%, but we have events in town 2 times a year. The rest of the year I am very accommodating to his needs concerning our home. 

So I honestly don't get why my 50% vote doesn't count for those 2 extended weekends. 

But you do bring up a good point. A man's home is his castle and if he doesn't feel safe there he has nowhere to find peace.

That is the very reason I opened up this thread. I want to find ways to compromise and work this out together.


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

H and I had a conversation about this yesterday. It went well for the most part.

We talked about setting up a schedule, (like discussed earlier on this thread) where the hang out spots are designated ahead of time, as well as end times for hangouts at our house and also for leaving our house on Sunday.

I suggested all of this and he wholeheartedly agreed.
He suggested that we have his office/mancave off limits at all times, even to sleeping guests, so that he can go there whenever he wants to without having to kick someone out (which he would never do). 

This has always been an issue because he has several computers in there and he is a gamer so he will end up playing with family and then not feel able to break it up when he's ready to be alone.

Overall it was a good discussion and he was pleasantly surprised, I could tell, by my suggestions and that I had thought it through.

(Thank you to those who contributed for your ideas and thoughts and support.)

I know that my boundaries are bad but I am more than willing to work with my H if he gives me something to work with. 

The main thing I wanted from him was to be honest up front about his needs because I don't always intuit what they are.
I get confused sometimes because we have been together so long that I consider him part of my family and kind of forget that he wasn't raised like me and his family is very different. 

I wish we were around his family more, but they aren't as relational and have very strong personal space boundaries. (Imagine that!) 


After so many years of marriage I guess it's easy to assume so much more and think that we are on the same page when we at SO not!


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

@tigerlily99 This is a good start. It may take a while to tweak, while you guys figure out what does and does not work. 

Having his office as a space that is off-limits is a good idea... It may be a good idea to put a lock on the door, if your family is used to going in and out of that room at will. (You should both have keys.)

Also, regarding the man-cave... if he's a gamer, and has had your family in there playing before, when he is "on" he may invite family members to play, forgetting about the off-limits rule that he instituted. I would recommend telling him that you fully support the off-limits rule, but if he invites people in to play, he is responsible for ending the game when he needs it to be over. If he breaks his own rules, then he gets to deal with the consequences. He doesn't like doing that, so he might try to hand it off to you, or be grumpy about it after because he let people play too long. He needs to learn that ending the party when he's ready to end the party (or in this case, the gaming) doesn't make him a bad guy, and he needs to learn how to do that. 

If he always plays these games with the same family members, you could let one or two of them know, "Hey, listen, Hubs won't ask you to leave while you're playing because he doesn't want to be rude to my family, but he gets burned out after a few hours. Could you do me a solid and find a way to gracefully bow out of the gaming after two hours, and get the others to follow your lead?" Getting some reliable, discreet family members who will be accommodating to help with this, and maintaining your schedule, could go a very long way towards making all of this easier.


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

jb02157 said:


> I'm glad to hear this. I'm also a very strong introvert and after a long family get together with my wife's family about a couple of hours is all I can stand, but that's obviously exacerbated by being verbally attacked the whole time.
> 
> I used to think the the Briggs and Meyers test wasn't worth the paper it was written on but it did bring up why I felt I needed to "recharge" at family get togethers. I actually came out as weakly introverted on the test but I know it's more extreme then that.
> .



Thanks for the follow up jb.
Funny that you bring up Briggs and Meyers because that's what got us started down the road to understanding of each other's differences in this crucial area.

I'm sorry your wife's family picks on you. There's no excuse for that! It sounds like you do your best to get through it, but wow that's gotta be so draining!!


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## tigerlily99 (Nov 21, 2015)

FeministInPink said:


> @tigerlily99 This is a good start. It may take a while to tweak, while you guys figure out what does and does not work.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I love ALL of your ideas FeministInPink. You are so sweet to take the time to share those really kind and practical ways to work together. 

We did say that now that we have come up with a plan there will certainly still be a learning curve! It'll take us a few years to work out the kinks. 

I'll have to check back in after our next event to let you know how it went! 

Thank you again!


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

You're quite welcome!

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## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

One or two siblings are over and another group come over. It gets late, so I think you need to take the lead and start closing the party.


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