# Husband moved out to live with OW, might R, wants son to meet OW



## kimmycat (Jun 19, 2013)

My husband filled for divorce saying it was time to give up after 4 years (out of 10) of living as roommates. I agreed but, started to think that we should try to make it work after realizing it was my fault that we had turned into roommates. After a couple of weeks of living together and knowing he had filed, I asked if he was seeing someone else and he said yes. I couldn't believe it. Now, I knew why he had really filed. He had moved on. He said that he had been longing for a relationship for a long time and it just happened. She lived far away and that is why he had been going away for the weekends recently, about 4 weekends. He said she was going to move here and they were going to live together. Well, after 4 more weeks, he found an apartment and she made the big move, leaving her job, family and friends to move here to be with him. Now, he says that he wishes that he had not let her move here yet because maybe, he wants to come back. I think that she had been a fantasy and the reality of them living together has helped him see the light and now, he has regrets.

We still don't know what is going to happen. anyway, we have a son,8, and my H comes here to visit him. This is all very new. He only moved out 3 weeks ago. He comes to dinner at our house twice a week. He spent the night last Saturday night and spent most of the next day with us, which was Father's Day.

Yesterday, he told me that the OW has been bothering him to meet our son and spend time with him over at their place. I told him that it is better that he keep coming here if we may reconcile. I don't want our son to meet her because then, it would seem permanent that she is part of the picture. He says he is getting pressure from both of us.

I am so confused. I have been reading lots of posts and it seems like he is "cake-eating" and I am being understanding. But, should I agree to let him introduce our son to her and his situation?


----------



## IsGirl3 (Nov 13, 2012)

why do you think you might reconcile? you realized that what was your fault? no sex life? are you interested in sex now? how did that happen? I don't know if what he's doing is called cake-eating but I think he's realizing he moved WAAAAAAY to fast into a new relationship.


----------



## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

I think this might be best moved to the Coping With Infidelity section. A moderator can move it for you, if you ask them to.

You are sure it was your fault. Was it? Really?


----------



## psychedelicately (Jun 11, 2013)

This is much too recent and fast-moving for the OW to already be meeting your son. You aren't divorced yet, he says he may want to come back and reconcile, why does he want to introduce his son to another woman with things so unsettled? This is going to shatter your sons world, he's probably already very confused and sad about what is going on. I wouldn't be okay with it.


----------



## kimmycat (Jun 19, 2013)

I moved this over to the Coping With Infidelity Section


----------



## Bobby5000 (Oct 19, 2011)

If you two weren't having sex, that's your fault, and you should apologize. It's perfectly understandable why he didn't want to be treated as a second class citizen and have a sister/brother relationship. Once you acknowledge you were wrong and will change, there are still marital vows, and perhaps the two of you can get beyond this and try to be together.


----------

