# Marriage/Happiness/Sex/Penis size/pre-marriage ???



## danistly887 (Jun 20, 2011)

I've met this really great girl that i've been hanging out with the last year. We are basically deciding to take our relationship to the next level or an "official" relationship. 

I'm saving myself for marriage because it's something I believe in for many reasons (not just religious). She has been with only one very experience partner in the past, but we have agreed we will wait.

I will be vacationing with her on Maui for a week coming up. She has never really seen my body or my penis. I want to make sure I can please her in life if we are destined to be together.

My penis is only about 5.5 inches long and about 4.73 inches girth (about 1.5 inches across the top). Now with the length I'm not really sure how to measure, so the length could be from anywhere from 5 inches to 5.75. To me it just seems and looks really small. Plus I am a grower not a show'er, so flaccid it doesn't look impressive to me.

1. Does a flaccid penis matter in a marriage? Do wives like to play around with them or does it affect anything?

2. I want to just show her my body and erect penis and just ask if I can make her happy with what I have. Is this a good idea? 
Or should I just never let her see until we are married? I want her to know exactly what I have and what she is getting. I am worried because she was with a really experience guy that in my mind I am thinking probably had a hugh penis.

3. How do I approach progressing with her and letting her know what I have? I just want to make sure I can please her in life.


edit:
She is just so amazing and I worry I will not be good enough for her in life. I was thinking I could show it to her and she could tell if the size will be good enough to please her. If she is not happy with the size then we could just not take things further. She could compare the size to her previous experienced partner.

She said she likes it fast, does that give any indication of what type of penis size she would need to please her?


----------



## ozwang (Aug 11, 2011)

If you're only just entering the "official" level of a relationship, why are you worrying about things in relation to marriage?

Why dont you just relax and let things take their course, Im sure if you live together before marriage, and even though you're not having sex, she will at some stage see your penis (getting dressed, showering etc).

If she was with someone in the past who had a "huge penis" but was very inexperienced, chances are it was a crap experience for her LOL


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Well...I don't recommend waiting until marriage. Being serious, ok, but marriage? No.

But that's just my opinion.

I don't know if you should show her your penis. That's kinda creepy and if you want to wait til marriage, it's kinda dangerous


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Well...I don't recommend waiting until marriage. Being serious, ok, but marriage? No.
> 
> But that's just my opinion.
> 
> I don't know if you should show her your penis. That's kinda creepy and if you want to wait til marriage, it's kinda dangerous


:iagree::iagree::iagree:


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

"about" 4.73?

Seems to me if this is not a BS posting the least of your concern is your estimated dimensions and when to wave the flag--so to speak.

A relationship is between two people, not body parts.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Cherry (Sep 23, 2009)

danistly887 said:


> I've met this really great girl that i've been hanging out with the last year. We are basically deciding to take our relationship to the next level or an "official" relationship.
> 
> I'm saving myself for marriage because it's something I believe in for many reasons (not just religious). She has been with only one very experience partner in the past, but we have agreed we will wait.
> 
> ...


In my experience, penis size doesn't really matter. Personally, I've been with all different sizes, and at the end of the day, it's more about the kind of connection two people have. You are a virgin, that might make a difference in the overall experience though... Do you have any experience, i.e. oral, heavy play, etc.? Because all of that matters too, not just the size. And as far as a flaccid penis in a marriage... It really has no bearing in my marriage, although usually when my H is naked, or I'm around him when he's naked, it's typically not flaccid for long


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I would say you're slightly below average, but not enough to worry about it. What are you going to do, in any case? 

If you're concerned about pleasing your partner, your best bet is to make the most of your other assets. Your mind/imagination, fingers, mouth... Heck, even if you're not concerned about your size, learning how to please a partner is never a bad thing! 

As far as a flaccid penis, and what a partner might think... I'm a guy, so I've just been on the receiving end. It might be examined casually, maybe caressed... But there doesn't seem to much interest in it until it's show-time. And again, there's not much you can do about it in any case.

With regards to making sure you're acceptable to her, size-wise... Over time, I'm sure she'll get a chance to check out the equipment, even if it's through clothes or something. But as long as it's not abnormally small, and if you have some other skills to back it up, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

C


----------



## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

danistly887 said:


> I've met this really great girl that i've been hanging out with the last year. We are basically deciding to take our relationship to the next level or an "official" relationship.
> 
> I'm saving myself for marriage because it's something I believe in for many reasons (not just religious). She has been with only one very experience partner in the past, but we have agreed we will wait.
> 
> ...


You are focused on the little head and not using your big head! 

Some guys are growers and some guys aren't. So, the guy who looks impressive while flaccid in the shower at the gym may be the same size when aroused as a guy with a grower who looks small when not aroused. 

Deciding to wait til marriage is a personal decision. Personally, I would not wait as sexual compatibility is important to a successful marriage.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

Saving yourself for marriage IS ALWAYS a really really bad idea.

Take her to Maui and make love to her.

All your insecurities will be addressed and put to bed with that one simple act.


----------



## txhunter54 (Jul 4, 2010)

tacoma said:


> Saving yourself for marriage IS ALWAYS a really really bad idea.
> 
> Take her to Maui and make love to her.
> 
> All your insecurities will be addressed and put to bed with that one simple act.


:iagree:


----------



## Entropy3000 (May 11, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Saving yourself for marriage IS ALWAYS a really really bad idea.
> 
> Take her to Maui and make love to her.
> 
> All your insecurities will be addressed and put to bed with that one simple act.


:iagree:


----------



## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Why on earth are you worried about this? If she loves you, she will love ALL of you. You love her, right, so would you compare her to Jennifer Lopez or Jessica Simpson? Would you find her lacking if her breast size were too small?

Love is not about body part size; it is about meeting each other's needs. A good lover pays attention to his beloved. That is all you need to do.


----------



## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

In a weird way I have experience with multiple penis sizes.....lol Dont laugh. Anyone who has been overweight and then skinny knows all about this.

I spent the majority of my marriage overweight, and measured just over 6. Not sure the exact measurement because I did not pay attention at the time.

Fast forward to an 80lb weight loss and getting in much better shape overall from lifting weights and eating right. Now I measure closer to 8.

So, did this increase in size make a difference in bed??? Nope!!! Not one bit. My wife could care less about the size. She never cared before and does not care now. 

But there are 2 things that do make a difference… First you have to keep her comfortable and find out how to please her. This may take a while but you will get better with time. You never know what the magic buttons will be for her until you practice with her. Second, being in good shape helps a lot! My wife does enjoy and complement my new appearance. Stamina is a heck of a lot better as well.

Don’t word about 5.5 That’s pretty much average. You will be fine. If she's like my wife her g-spot is only about 1.5-2 inches deep anyway. Anything over average is just going to limit your other options if you know what I mean. Just remember to pay attention to what she likes and make sure she has a good time. 

As for waiting….I can’t say. I was not religious or anything. I had sex with one girl before I met my wife. And I regret that my wife was not my first. So I say at least wait until you are very serious and you know that this is the woman that you want to be with.


----------



## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Saving yourself for marriage IS ALWAYS a really really bad idea.
> 
> Take her to Maui and make love to her.
> 
> All your insecurities will be addressed and put to bed with that one simple act.


I think you couldn't be more wrong on this. Deciding when you want to have sex and finding a partner whom you care about and respects those desires is huge.

I don't think you always need to test drive sex to determine if you are compatible sexually. I think it is a personal decision to decide to wait or not and I think both ways can work and both ways can not. How many threads have we read about sexless marriages where the couple humped like rabbits early on and fizzled big time? The important thing is communication and how you handle yourself after that initial excitement period that comes from sex with a new/first partner.

I know I could tell sexual chemistry with prior partners before we had sex.

Disclaimer: My sex life could improve, but my wife and I communicate about it and are making a real effort to do so.

As far as your question goes, google average penis size. If I remember right, yours may fall in on the low average range. Also, according to my wife, size doesn't matter. I have gotten my wife to climax several times and I'd fall right in the middle of average range.


----------



## ThighMaster (Aug 31, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Saving yourself for marriage IS ALWAYS a really really bad idea.
> 
> Take her to Maui and make love to her.
> 
> All your insecurities will be addressed and put to bed with that one simple act.


'Always'? I disagree.

Wife and I saved ourselves for each other.

(Edit: Not to say of course there wasn't a lot of *cough* 'heavy petting' *cough* involved)

17+ years of marriage, three wonderful kids and thousands of lovemaking sessions later I am *still* thankful we took the path we did.

It won't work for everyone, but it worked for us.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

My point is that if he were`t saving himself for marriage the problems he`s posted here would already be non-existent.

Intimate relationships are often difficult enough without adding extra insecurities/troubles for no legitimate reason.

How many more troubles do you think will arise due to this choice over the course of this relationship?

I see many.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Alone on a vacation, whipping it out, oh yeah, dangerous, dangerous, dangerous --if you sincerely want to wait. 

You are very "average" -you are not too small, must have been watching too much porn or something - any chance? 

Compare here >> http://www.mraverage.com/results.htm

LIke ThighMaster -Me & my husband waited until marriage to have intercoarse, although I am happy we did, we still touched each other to orgasms and this -we would have went crazy to not do - I think it is normal behavior to play around , get frisky with your boyfriend or girlfriend , get to feel each other out sexually, at least KNOW if you can get her to orgasm before you marry, at least with your hands! If nothing else. 

I don't fault anyone for waiting, if that is truly what you both want to do, but I do feel many many HIGHER drive men end up marrying women with little to no sex drive and often times suffer in their marraiges because they had no idea these women had such an aversion to sex. It can happen. It does happen. But then nothing in life is certain - some have a raging sex drive in their youth, then loose it mid marraige. 

She had sex before with an experienced man -what did she say about it ? Does she LOVE sex ?

Do an awful LOT of talking about sex, does she masterbate, is it difficult for her to WAIT ? VERY DIFFICULT --If so, GOOOOD sign!! If not - RED FLAG ! If it is too easy - my friend, you may be a "sufferer" once those wedding bells sing thier pretty song. 

I've read too many stories on here. Know she is addicted to orgasms and NEEDS them -at least if you enjoy sex !


----------



## ThighMaster (Aug 31, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Do an awful LOT of talking about sex, does she masterbate, is it difficult for her to WAIT ? VERY DIFFICULT --If so, GOOOOD sign!! If not - RED FLAG ! If it is too easy - my friend, you may be a "sufferer" once those wedding bells sing thier pretty song.


Excellent point SimplyAmorous. 

Thinking back we couldn't keep our hands off each other but had just enough restraint to keep from going all the way. We most definitely learned how to get each other's motors running up to that point though LOL.


----------



## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

danistly887 said:


> 1. Does a flaccid penis matter in a marriage? Do wives like to play around with them or does it affect anything?
> 
> 2. I want to just show her my body and erect penis and just ask if I can make her happy with what I have. Is this a good idea?
> .


Regarding # 1 - a flaccid penis only matters if it is flaccid when you don't want it to be.

Regarding # 2 - Don't just show her the penis. Despite everything our guy-brain tries to tell us, women don't worship a man's penis. Heck, they probably don't even think about them very often either. It might even play a really cruel trick on you if you try to show it to her, and revert back to # 1. 

I'm telling you, she's much more interested in you showing her that you know how to use your tongue at this stage of the game.


----------



## ARF (Jan 26, 2011)

tacoma said:


> My point is that if he were`t saving himself for marriage the problems he`s posted here would already be non-existent.
> 
> Intimate relationships are often difficult enough without adding extra insecurities/troubles for no legitimate reason.
> 
> ...


Please share your troubles that you see.

Within the confines of marriage, insecurities SHOULD be less. Waiting can be a good thing for some, and not for others. The problem is that the problems that you likely relate to waiting to marriage, may also exist in those who don't wait. Sexual success in a marriage has more to do with other factors then those that begin in the sack.

It works differently for all people.


----------



## eclectic (Sep 7, 2011)

Okay, the "saving yourself" idea is fine, but have you two not engaged in heavy petting, touching each other, or performed orally? If not, time to step it up a notch!! She DOES and DEFINITELY should know what she's working with. 

I think you're too self conscious about it though--maybe she's not perfect down their either--maybe she has huge, floppy labia, lol. Although, IMO, it is true that a man's penis size does matter, skill is also necessary. You have to develop technique and get really good at oral--trust me it will work. Her G-spot will thank you.

No, I don't think women like playing with a flacid penis...


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> Why on earth are you worried about this? If she loves you, she will love ALL of you. You love her, right, so would you compare her to Jennifer Lopez or Jessica Simpson? Would you find her lacking if her breast size were too small?
> 
> Love is not about body part size; it is about meeting each other's needs. A good lover pays attention to his beloved. That is all you need to do.


This is a myth and a lie.

I was in love with a man with a very small penis. 4-5 inches at most. We were young (teens) so sex wasn't happening.

Years, later we dated again for a bit but sex did happen....and it was bad. he tried, but...yea. 

Every woman is different mentally and physically. My doc said i have a compact vagina :rofl: but it's long. My husband is rather large and i love it.

Couldn't deal with a short man. Maybe some women can, but i can't. Don't fool yourself to thinking it's all about the motion of the ocean. Yea, no.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

ARF said:


> Please share your troubles that you see.


Hope I have enough bandwidth 

1: First sexual encounter on your wedding night will indeed sooner or later lead to wondering what it`s like with others.Curiosity killed the cat and ruined many relationships.
2: Waiting leaves you uneducated about so many sexual situations that will come up during your marriage while those who have some experience have already been through these things with other relationships and can easily deal with them.
3:Having the mindset that one will wait until marriage to have sex puts pressure on one to marry early, often too early. Divorce rates are 10% higher for people who married in their teens/early twenties.
4: Sexual compatibility is and will remain a complete unknown until you`re bound by law.
5: Waiting can lead one to believe every relationship is "the one". Soulmate syndrome.
6: "Saving" oneself puts far too much value on the act of sex itself. It`s not a bar of gold, it`s genitalia it does`t gain any value with age. It`s not a "prize" it`s an act of love.
7: Experience, I am a good lover because I`ve been taught and learned over the years what women like what they want and when they want it.
I wouldn`t have this knowledge if I waited until marriage.

Those are just quick off the top of my head I can think of more if you like.



> Sexual success in a marriage has more to do with other factors then those that begin in the sack.


It also has much to do with factors that do begin in the sack and even a cursory look at these very forums will show how serious those factors are.

For one, the OP`s insecurity itself would most probably disappear if he`d simply sleep with his SO.

Or

The OP`s insecurity would be discovered to be well founded if he`d just sleep with his SO and they`d both realize they were incompatible before they bind themselves together forever "for better or worse" and they could move on to a partner that they were more compatible with.

I figure if I would`t buy a car I hand`t driven I damn sure would`t commit to a woman before a test drive or two.

Which investment is more important?


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Couldn't deal with a short man. Maybe some women can, but i can't. Don't fool yourself to thinking it's all about the motion of the ocean. Yea, no.


Hope the OP`s wife does`t have the same "need" because she`s not going to know she made a mistake until it`s too late.

Talk about unnecessary heartbreak.


----------



## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

tacoma said:


> Hope the OP`s wife does`t have the same "need" because she`s not going to know she made a mistake until it`s too late.
> 
> Talk about unnecessary heartbreak.


That's all I'm saying. Sex is important. Bad sex for the rest of your life is awful.


----------



## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

that_girl said:


> That's all I'm saying. Sex is important. Bad sex for the rest of your life is awful.


I really don`t understand the whole "waiting for marriage" thing.

We invest so much time & energy discovering every compatibility and difference we have with a potential spouse in every area of life yet some don`t bother even questioning whether they are sexually compatible?

Sex is the glue that holds marriage together it`s one of the most important pieces of compatibility we need in a relationship.

There`s no way in hell it should be left to chance.


----------



## AniversaryFight (Mar 7, 2011)

Do not ask nor talk about your size at the first place. Go on vacation and **** her there. On that night after sex tell her that you are unexperience guy and you are hoping you and her to teach how to please each other. Do not be nervous and just relax while talking about it. Do not mention about your size because you can not do nothing about it but you can learn how to please her.
1. If things will work out. Great
2.If not, at least you got an experience then go to the next another one


----------



## Scannerguard (Jan 26, 2010)

Do you have dimples? (either pair of cheeks?)

That'll get you laid over abs, chest, or penis.


----------



## Rosie123 (Sep 5, 2011)

Gah, I think making a big deal out of it will just make it feel technical and remove all romance. All you need is confidence in yourself and love for your woman. All these "problems" that come from taking either path (waiting for marriage or not) don't even matter. As long as both partners are willing to COMMUNICATE and work on any prob that comes between them and compromise, it doesn't matter which path you take. Do what makes you both happy and you will be just fine. Only advice is if you do wait for marriage to have sex, take extra time to be very very sure that she is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, no matter what. Cause like others have said, compatibility in bed really is important to a healthy relationship.


----------



## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

I don't think size matters either really. Unless it is 3cm long - I did a guy with a 3cm penis once. That was not a good memory.


----------



## danistly887 (Jun 20, 2011)

She is just so amazing and I worry I will not be good enough for her in life. I was thinking I could show it to her and she could tell if the size will be good enough to please her. If she is not happy with the size then we could just not take things further. She could compare the size to her previous experienced partner.

She said she likes it fast, does that give any indication of what type of penis size she would need to please her?


----------



## danistly887 (Jun 20, 2011)

danistly887 said:


> She is just so amazing and I worry I will not be good enough for her in life. I was thinking I could show it to her and she could tell if the size will be good enough to please her. If she is not happy with the size then we could just not take things further. She could compare the size to her previous experienced partner.
> 
> She said she likes it fast, does that give any indication of what type of penis size she would need to please her?


To be clear she wants to wait also. I just want to know I am good enough for her. I guess we have more talking to do but I wasn't sure if showing it to her would help her know if it will work for her or not. She only has one past partner to compare it to, but she knows what she likes and I assume has seen other penises before.

I don't want to negatively affect her life. She is so great I just want to know that I am good enough for her but don't know how to find this out since we are both waiting. There is no way around this.

So do I just ask her what is good for her and ask if she wants to see? I just want to make sure I am good enough and if not we wouldn't have to progress.


----------



## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

You are focusing on the wrong thing. Once you have won her heart, you will both learn how to please each other through experience. It won't do any good to whip it out and ask her if you are good enough.

Besides, if you want to wait, how will you do this with an erect penis?


----------



## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

How old are the two of you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## danistly887 (Jun 20, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> You are focusing on the wrong thing. Once you have won her heart, you will both learn how to please each other through experience. It won't do any good to whip it out and ask her if you are good enough.
> 
> Besides, if you want to wait, how will you do this with an erect penis?


I just don't know what to do. I hear people say that i'm average and some people say size doesn't matter, but some say i'm kinda small. But then there are women that truly need size.

We are still a long ways from marriage. But I truly feel she is so great that I want to know I can be good enough for her. And i've always felt insecure about my penis size and worry about her past partner if he was bigger to go along with all his experience.

I hear people say sex is the most important thing in a relationship. But we both want to wait. I just don't know how to proceed.

Should I just drop it and just see how things go?

Or should I at least ask her what she likes or needs, as far as positions, stamina etc. and her past partners size to see if I can match up? Should I not offer to show it to her unless she asks to see it?


----------



## 1-12-t1 (Aug 7, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> Why on earth are you worried about this? If she loves you, she will love ALL of you. You love her, right, so would you compare her to Jennifer Lopez or Jessica Simpson? Would you find her lacking if her breast size were too small?
> 
> Love is not about body part size; it is about meeting each other's needs. A good lover pays attention to his beloved. That is all you need to do.


:iagree::iagree:
This^^^^
And as far as waiting, i dont think its a bad idea. But if you dont have another partner, i think youll always be insecure and jealous she had another partner. With my first girlfriend i had this problem, she had a partner before me and i hated it, and to be honest, i let it ruin the relationship. If i were to go back in time, id have sex first chance i had, and not waited to fall in love with a girl who i wasnt her first. My jealousy and insecurities really ruined everything, and i fear this will happen to you. Im sorry about the situation your in.


----------



## 1-12-t1 (Aug 7, 2011)

danistly887 said:


> I just don't know what to do. I hear people say that i'm average and some people say size doesn't matter, but some say i'm kinda small. But then there are women that truly need size.
> 
> We are still a long ways from marriage. But I truly feel she is so great that I want to know I can be good enough for her. And i've always felt insecure about my penis size and worry about her past partner if he was bigger to go along with all his experience.
> 
> ...


honestly size doesnt matter. ill be honest i dont have the best stamina but ive gotten many girls off giving them multiple orgasms from eating them out. You just gotta get your bread and butter and know what your good at.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I doubt you're far enough off average to make a difference. My current GF has quite a bit more experience than I have, and experience with guys larger than me. But there's a reason she's with me rather than them, and I've had no reason to doubt her appreciation of our playtimes. 

I would drop it until you get much more serious about your relationship. Enjoy getting to know each other, and enjoy your times together. The rest can come later.

How long have you two been seeing each other?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Hold up your middle finger.

Is it longer when erect? If so, you're good ...

Hold your middle and index fingers together. Is it as, or nearly as wide? If so, you're good.

A woman's vagina expands and lengthens when she is aroused, care to guess how much? 
To about six inches deep, before your knocking on the cervix (which isn't pleasant for her), and about 2.5 inches in circumference.

Stop fixating on something you can neither change ... and don't plan on using just yet anyway. 

Focus on relating to what's in her head for hopes and dreams, and whether or not the two of you align and are compatible there, before worrying about whether the two of you align, and are compatible where your crotches are concerned.


----------



## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

Heather....you aren't helping....lol

Maybe it depends on the girl. You said before that your girlfriend has only been with one other guy. Well perhaps her limited experience with that one guy has not left her focusing on size.

I still think that average is fine. Any my wife has me convinced at least that she does not care. I try to impress her but it does not work…lol. For her it has always been more about the other things anyway. I get her off first in a variety of ways and then we have sex.

You may find that you have one of those girls who does not O easily through intercourse anyway….and that would negate your issue all together. Just pay attention to what she likes and get feedback whenever possible. Focus on her needs and you will be just fine. After a little while you will be rocking her world, and there is a great deal of satisfaction that comes along with that.


----------



## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

My husband used to ask this question.

The only times I have ever noticed or cared about size was a man who was exceptionally small and a man who was exceptionally large. Otherwise, what you do with it is INFINITELY more important.

Also: women's vaginas are slightly different sizes too. I'm a fairly petite woman, so when I was dating a more..."well endowed" man...it actually was uncomfortable.

I tell my husband he's the perfect size for me and I love his body. And I sincerely don't care, I love him and the actual act of making love. It's a lot more than just PIV anyway.


----------



## IronhorseCowboy (Mar 6, 2013)

You and I are about the same "size" and I know that my wife had bigger before me and apparently it didn't matter to her. We've been married for almost 17 years and have 3 children and she has never expressed displeasure. I can honestly say the issue that you have is not your penis size, it's your lack of confidence. Work on the confidence and stop worrying.


----------

