# Not Sure to Call it Off or Not?



## cool51guy (May 7, 2011)

My wife and I have hit a rough patch. She has lost her feelings for me and has now fallen in love with a another man. I know that she has slept-ed with him. She says she feels really bad about hurting me. But right now we are still married by law, but we are just friends. She says she wants to remain friends now and maybe over time the feelings she once had for me may come back and we would get back together, also she wants to see this other guy right now. We have a young child and I really love her so much, that i don't care that she cheated on me, well i am hurt but my love for her is so strong that i am will to forgive her, but at the same time I am not sure if I should just call off the whole thing or wait around and see if we can get back together. I am just really confused and scared, not sure what to do?


----------



## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this position. If you've read any of the threads here on TAM, you'll see there are plenty of people in your boat. The first thing you need to do is decide what's best for you and your child. Then, you need to plot a course in that direction. Either you want to divorce or you want to save your marriage. That's the decision you must make NOW.

Your wife is in what we call "the fog" now. She isn't capable of making a rational decision. She is also "cake eating". That has to stop immediately. She either keeps the other man or she tells the other man good bye for good and begins working on the marriage--and that should probably include marriage counseling. 

If you decide the reconciliation path is the right choice for you, here's a helpful website for you: AffairCare Home.

Hope things work out for you.


----------



## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

Marriagebuilders.com is also a very helpful website if you choose the reconciliation path. And as the previous poster just put it, you are not alone. I as well as countless others are in your same shoes.


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

If you want any chance in hell of getting her back you need to change.
or
Keep doing what your doing and when she breaks up with her boyfriend she go back to you until she finds another guy.

Do you realize the way you are acting is telling your wife #1 that she can sleep around and do what ever she wants, no matter how it effects you. #2 you do not love her enough to fight for her. #3 You have no self respect so why should she respect you.

Man you need to stop being a doormat and stand up and let her know that you lover to much to let her throw the family away and if she chooses to just that then you will take the family and move on.

Do you really think when she and her boy friend break up that she will come back to a respectless BOS that just let her sleep around? Do you think what your doing is health for you and your family?

You should be protecting this family, granted you cant control your wife but you don't have to tolorate it. You can control you and what will tolorate. 

If she continues to see her boy friend then you need to show her some tough love and be confident that what you are going to do is for the best interest for you family.

Educate your self and fight this affair, and for her to say that she is going to see what happen is BS man you should be telling her whats going to happen if she continues. Where's your nuts.

I can't believe your not telling the world she is cheating, I can't believe your not packing her stuff up and moving her out.


----------

