# Irritated



## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

SO after being separated exactly a 1.5 years, things have gotten better. She is saying I love you sporadically, with increasing frequency. She flirts with me etc. 
All of the sudden she is at "a friend's" house won't give names ever. It is always the same house, not one clue who it could be. I am furious and my feelings are hurt. Not out of jealousy, but out the " _ ____ 'you too'." I got in response to my "I love you." This was the behavior that made me question her commitment to our relationship before. If she is so unsure why has she warmed up to me, but only when it seems convenient. My main concern is that she has been dishonest when she has said she is not interested in anybody or that she has turned down everyone that has asked her out. So many humans are vultures. I am posting this instead of going after her about it( if things are going good, don't want a set back, if they are not going anywhere, don't want to make things worse.


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

i'm sorry for your frustration. have you tried to sit down and tell her in order to to rebuild trust and intimacy it would help if you knew whos house she was at, and in return you will be transparent to her about your whereabouts too.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

lulubelle said:


> i'm sorry for your frustration. have you tried to sit down and tell her in order to to rebuild trust and intimacy it would help if you knew whos house she was at, and in return you will be transparent to her about your whereabouts too.


The main problem with that is that she has made no mention of wanting to get back together. All of this closeness and such has kinda happened on its own. The sketchiness of her behavior is always the same. It breaks my heart. I wish she would be honest with me.
It is simply immoral to get your ex or separated partner to pay for your fun(especially if you are not involved with it). I will see her today and now have to do my best to not be mad or sad that she had "plans" last night. I just feel like she uses me for safe family fun. We are going to do a few things, just us, in the coming months. Now I wonder if it even means anything. I don't want to be her best male friend. She ended that a long time ago.


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## Lostwouthim (Jun 17, 2012)

Unfortunately, Agast it's sounds like you are still her backup plan. Are you still living under the same roof as well?


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

> I just feel like she uses me for safe family fun.


The moment you feel 'used', you are being used.

Don't allow it. Nice guys are addicted to being used. It's their way of feeling loved. 

You're not being loved. You're being used. Understand the difference. They're pretty much on the opposite sides of the spectrum. Thank your parents for not teaching you that.

Tell her how you feel and distance yourself. If she wants your company without wanting to use you, she'll find a way.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Plan B

Tell her you're no longer ok with paying her to leave you.


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## Lifescript (Mar 12, 2012)

Well Synthetic sum it all up perfectly. This is what happens when co-dependent guys like us stay on friendly terms with our exes. The moment they say something or act in a loving way towards us we start feeling like there's a chance to get back together. NOT TRUE.


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## Lifescript (Mar 12, 2012)

How is it that you are paying her?


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

I have to agree, sure sounds like you are the "filler" "plan b". Sorry you are going through this, the thing is though... You have control of the situation.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

Lostwouthim said:


> Unfortunately, Agast it's sounds like you are still her backup plan. Are you still living under the same roof as well?


No thankfully, I am not. I would have filled by now if that were the case.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

Lifescript said:


> How is it that you are paying her?


It is a figure of speech. I am simply meaning it in the "being used" sense. It can be whatever, just depends.


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