# nude pics



## mirandawrites

nude pics 

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I have been married for just over a year, everything is good in our marriage but there is one thing that I can't seem to accept and I want to make sure that I am not accepting it for the wrong reasons I need someone other than my husband to tell me this is normal and healthy. My husband works 2 jobs 60 hrs a week as a cook and I work 40 hrs a week, are time together is limited due to both of us working so much to pay the bills. Well my concern is when I am not home with him he will watch porn or find nude pics of woman on the internet free of course never has he paid for this and the video he watches is what he had prior of him and I meeting. Please I need to know if this is normal for a man and is this a healthy thing for him to be doing in our marriage?
Thank you


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## Sandy55

Regardless of "healthy" if it bothers you it is not healthy for your marriage, IMHO.


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## Blanca

it wasnt healthy for me in my situation. for some people its ok and doesnt bother them. but it was hurting my relationship so it was not OK.


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## swedish

I hope some men chime in, but in my opinion, it is normal. Healthy within the marriage is really more how you feel about it and if you are okay with it, as long as it remains low-key...if it gets worse over time (in quantity, content, cost) it could become a problem.


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## mike1

Yeah, it depends on your situation. Are you satisfying what he wants sexually and giving him enough sex? Are you sure? 

I can give you my perspective... I'm married, I love my gorgeous wife but I have a super high sex drive. She'd be happy with sex every 2 weeks but sometimes I want it every day! I'm doing it a LOT less now but for a long while there I was looking at porn every time the wife was out so I'd have material to get more aroused when I took care of business. This wasn't the preferred choice for me. I would much rather have her take care of my sexual needs any day of the week!!! So for me the only reason I look at porn is because I'm not satisfied with our sex life. If we had sex everyday or every other day there simply would be no desire/need for me to take care of myself and consequently porn. I don't know if that's your situation, that's just me.


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## Amplexor

mirandawrites said:


> Please I need to know if this is normal for a man and is this a healthy thing for him to be doing in our marriage?
> Thank you


I have posted a rant here several times about the damage porn can do to a marriage and in society as a whole but I’ll spare everyone today.  It is not unusual for a man to view porn but if this behavior bothers you and you feel it is interfering with your marriage you need to tell him that. Make sure he understands how you feel and ask him to stop if that’s what you wish.


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## Barely Happy Ever After

It's normal. Try getting his attention more. He may be getting bored.


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## mea_3

I would think it's very normal. It's only a picture and he's a guy.:lol:











_* “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”*_


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## CarolineMRF

mea_3 said:


> I would think it's very normal. It's only a picture and he's a guy.:lol:]* “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”*[/I]



Only if both parties want this...Sure he is a guy, but guys should be able to put their toys away and grow into a man...Some can't....Women suffer and their marriages go to hell....Men shouldn't marry until they are able to do without the passions of youth...It's a bad scene all the way.....Being previously active at a Male Sexual Dysfuction Forum, I know of many stories along this line...Actually pretty sad ones....


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## CarolineMRF

Barely Happy Ever After said:


> It's normal. Try getting his attention more. He may be getting bored.


What is normal?...We are talking about after marriage if one party does not want it....If she does, then so be it....If she doesn't, than don't....To me this is a no brainer and believe me, I am far from a prude....


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## mea_3

CarolineMRF said:


> Only if both parties want this...Sure he is a guy, but guys should be able to put their toys away and grow into a man...Some can't....Women suffer and their marriages go to hell....Men shouldn't marry until they are able to do without the passions of youth...It's a bad scene all the way.....Being a former Mod at a Male Sexual Dysfuction Forum I know of many stories along this line...Actually pretty sad ones....


Well I happen to disagree with you here. Where is the harm in looking at a nude picture? As long as the married person looking at the picture has no intentions of actually cheating, then I'm sorry but I don't see how any harm can come from this. Now, if the married man is looking at nudes pictures and that is taking away from sexual relations with his wife, well not that's a diff story!:awink:


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## michzz

The two of you need to reassess the hours worked and when and make sure both of you are satisfied sexually in your marriage.

And he needs a different hobby.


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## CarolineMRF

mea_3 said:


> Well I happen to disagree with you here. Where is the harm in looking at a nude picture? As long as the married person looking at the picture has no intentions of actually cheating, then I'm sorry but I don't see how any harm can come from this. Now, if the married man is looking at nudes pictures and that is taking away from sexual relations with his wife, well not that's a diff story!:awink:


I am not talking about cheating...I am talking about self stimulation which ends up taking from his wife....This is one of the biggest problems pertaining to this....A man can very easily become his own greatest lover....His wife/partner must compete with a computer...A young woman who does everything he wants...Again, if both want it, then let it be a stimulation...However, if it is hurting the marriage, let it go...


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## mea_3

CarolineMRF said:


> I am not talking about cheating...I am talking about self stimulation which ends up taking from his wife....This is one of the biggest problems pertaining to this....A man can very easily become his own greatest lover....His wife/partner must compete with a computer...A young woman who does everything he wants...Again, if both want it, then let it be a stimulation...However, if it is hurting the marriage, let it go...


*Now, if the married man is looking at nudes pictures and that is taking away from sexual relations with his wife, well not that's a diff story! *

And in bold is what I stated in my post.! So I guess we are on the same page here.:smthumbup:


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## MBuck26

someone tell me how to post a new thread I am new here and i gotta get this off my chest ..


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## mea_3

MBuck26 said:


> someone tell me how to post a new thread I am new here and i gotta get this off my chest ..


You click on the post a new thread button in the forum that you desire.


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## CarolineMRF

mea_3 said:


> *Now, if the married man is looking at nudes pictures and that is taking away from sexual relations with his wife, well not that's a diff story! *
> 
> And in bold is what I stated in my post.! So I guess we are on the same page here.:smthumbup:


He may not have any intention of cheating, but what can this habit possibly do to him in the long run...Oh, a simple glance at a nude is not what I am talking about...I am talking about looking at Porn...The desire that comes when a man needs to relieve himself from his sexual want...This takes away from the wife...This can be true in different ways...Probably the worse would be that from watching a nude woman's sexual parts that he no longer gets as aroused by his wife...He has already been stimulated into orgasm...She will probably suffer from not having the loving husband that he might have been...He is now ready for mating...She is left in the cold...This is pretty much a proven fact in many marriages...


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## mea_3

CarolineMRF said:


> He may not have any intention of cheating, but what can this habit possibly do to him in the long run...Oh, a simple glance at a nude is not what I am talking about...I am talking about looking at Porn...The desire that comes when a man needs to relieve himself from his sexual want...This takes away from the wife...This can be true in different ways...Probably the worse would be that from watching a nude woman's sexual parts that he no longer gets as aroused by his wife...He has already been stimulated into orgasm...She will probably suffer from not having the loving husband that he might have been...He is now ready for mating...She is left in the cold...This is pretty much a proven fact in many marriages...


I understand your point here I really do. But, many men look at porn and take care of themselves and I'm sure that they have very happy marriages and still have sex with their wives. Did it ever occur to you that perhaps this guy just may have an extra high sex drive? Again, if it's messing up the couples sex life then I would not condone it. But, if not let it be. Plus masterbation is a part of life.:lol:


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## CarolineMRF

Unfortunately, I was going into some things that had not happened on this post...I was looking of the possibilities that could taken place and not the today in question.....Please forgive....


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## mea_3

CarolineMRF said:


> Masturbation may be a part of anyone's life, however, with a man in many cases it has dire consequences....This being impotency....A man can become his own best lover so much that the stimulation of woman will no longer turn him on....He gets used to the faces of Porn...Their sexual parts...His wife no longer is needed....If she possibly is lucky enough to catch him at the right time, he may be able to do this duty...However, for her it can be a terrible turn off....He is ready...He wants no foreplay...She suffers from this and in the end problems arise that are more than serious...You have no idea of the amount of men that suffer this problem...It is called either premature ejaculation or not being able to get an erection to start....It works on their mind...With some pills no longer work...Unfortunately it is a fact of life when a man has his young harem in front of him....They are always able and ready....No work for him....And after a while it just doesn't matter....I don't make up these words...They are life....


Ok. Well I think that we better agree to disagree here. Because I think what you typed above is the extreme case. Every guy I have been with has materbated... so does that mean there is something wrong with all of them? And they have all moved onto to a life with a spouse that is corrupt.. due to their need to yank the chain? I'd much rather have my SO spank the monkey then go find a cheap prostitute on the street any day.


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## CarolineMRF

It's funny as my husband has never done this in all our married life....However, I will agree to disagree...I am sure that each marriage and partner is different...Take care...


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## mea_3

CarolineMRF said:


> It's funny as my husband has never done this in all our married life....However, I will agree to disagree...I am sure that each marriage and partner is different...Take care...


Ok good. I see we are both sort of new here so we'd better behave.:rofl:


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## CarolineMRF

mirandawrites said:


> nude pics
> 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> I have been married for just over a year, everything is good in our marriage but there is one thing that I can't seem to accept and I want to make sure that I am not accepting it for the wrong reasons I need someone other than my husband to tell me this is normal and healthy. My husband works 2 jobs 60 hrs a week as a cook and I work 40 hrs a week, are time together is limited due to both of us working so much to pay the bills. Well my concern is when I am not home with him he will watch porn or find nude pics of woman on the internet free of course never has he paid for this and the video he watches is what he had prior of him and I meeting. Please I need to know if this is normal for a man and is this a healthy thing for him to be doing in our marriage?
> Thank you


If I came home and I found that my new husband of only one year was looking at pictures of other naked women, I would be devastated...It is difficult enough for a woman to get used to this new role in life as it is...For a woman giving of herself is not the easiest thing in the world...At least it wasn't for me...You have lost this part of yourself that was so special and kept private...This alone for many of us women is hard enough to deal with....Then to add this insult, for us would have been bigger than big...I am not a prude nor a low life...I would have considered this an insult to my being a woman...Later in life if we both agreed on it, I would have been open to discussion...But not the way that this was laid out on this post....Just my thoughts...


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## Lizzie60

We should ask the OP if this is taking away sex from her.

I seriously doubt it.. Maybe, in a way, she doesn't have the drive he has.. so she can't put up with his sexual needs... just an assumption here.

He works 60 hours a week and he still has the drive he has.. gosh... she works 40 hours.. and methink she is very tired.. and not up to all the sex he wants/needs.

OP.. it's not a big deal.. let him play with himself all he want.. get some rest.. :smthumbup:


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## okeydokie

i have not seen where the OP said anything about their sexual frequency. Some of you have assumed that she is a willing participient in regular sex, and i havent seen that confirmed. I wouldnt think of looking at porn and taking care of myself if sex was more frequent (although i do neither now, i just decided to dry up )


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## GAsoccerman

Caroline, so I suppose you never played with any of your "toys" when hubby wasn't home?

Do you have any toys?

Not going to get into it, but looking at some nude pics is not a big deal.


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## CarolineMRF

mea_3 said:


> Well I happen to disagree with you here. Where is the harm in looking at a nude picture? As long as the married person looking at the picture has no intentions of actually cheating, then I'm sorry but I don't see how any harm can come from this. Now, if the married man is looking at nudes pictures and that is taking away from sexual relations with his wife, well not that's a diff story!:awink:


If both of them want to watch it, then watch it until the cows come home...If it stimulates her, than watch it with him...If he is using this as an amusement and the partner/wife doesn't want him to, then he shouldn't...It can vastly detract from a sex life when this habit is too intense...Then the problem comes of how to both break it and a man finding himself and being stimulated by the woman he married...This is not as much a younger problem as an older married problem...However, many young men are being over stimulated with Porn lately and can't get it up with their girlfriends...This is not a joke...It is serious...


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## SFladybug

I think a lot of people look at this as "normal" for guys, but I am not sure it is helpful to a marriage. While it is not technically cheating, it can and does lead to dissatisfaction by the husband and possibly the fear of not being "pretty enough" by the wife. Also, there are enough examples of guys taking it a bit further than looking because the mentality they allow is to see women as an object for their pleasure rather than to see their wife as a soulmate. My husband did that during our first year of marriage (back then it was magazines) and I found them, cried, and was really hurt - it was not something I felt comfortable with. He still had the same high sex drive and later had an affair with someone at work. So, while the two are not always connected, it does indicate a level of boredom or dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, I have heard the quote that marriages are not hard work, they just become boring. So, I guess the work is in keeping the relationship fresh....which usually comes down to more fun, more space, more depth or all of the above.

If his viewing of nude pics bothers you, you could use it as an opportunity to talk about your feelings together. Wish you both the best.


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## mea_3

CarolineMRF said:


> If both of them want to watch it, then watch it until the cows come home...If it stimulates her, than watch it with him...If he is using this as an amusement and the partner/wife doesn't want him to, then he shouldn't...It can vastly detract from a sex life when this habit is too intense...Then the problem comes of how to both break it and a man finding himself and being stimulated by the woman he married...This is not as much a younger problem as an older married problem...However, many young men are being over stimulated with Porn lately and can't get it up with their girlfriends...This is not a joke...It is serious...



When did I say this was a joke? I already stated that if the guy is using porn and the sex in the marriage or R has gone by the wayside.. then yes it's an issue. But, all in all..masterbating while watching porn from time to time IMO, is not something to worry about.


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## zengoddess

CarolineMRF said:


> He may not have any intention of cheating, but what can this habit possibly do to him in the long run...Oh, a simple glance at a nude is not what I am talking about...I am talking about looking at Porn...The desire that comes when a man needs to relieve himself from his sexual want...This takes away from the wife...This can be true in different ways...Probably the worse would be that from watching a nude woman's sexual parts that he no longer gets as aroused by his wife...He has already been stimulated into orgasm...She will probably suffer from not having the loving husband that he might have been...He is now ready for mating...She is left in the cold...This is pretty much a proven fact in many marriages...


This is what actually happened to my marriage. He was addicted to porn and paid webcam sex, he neglected me. Sex was a 5-10 mins affair every week/10 days with no foreplay. And he was lazy and came fast. I'm not sure if the PE was because of porn. Can anyone tell me the correlation? And I think he also mentioned that ejaculating didn't necessarily mean climaxing. So he implied he just came, but no orgasm. is it also because of porn?

I don't understand why some men find virtual sex more preferable than real sex. Is it because it's more convenient for them? He happened to once say also that sex was just too much work and a waste of time (and sex with me was like a chore!). Mind you I'm an attractive, in shape, athletic woman, not some overweight slob.

Someone said it's his self-esteem issue. Or maybe because I didn't stroke his ego enough knowing that I was so unfulfilled sexually?


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## zengoddess

mea_3 said:


> When did I say this was a joke? I already stated that if the guy is using porn and the sex in the marriage or R has gone by the wayside.. then yes it's an issue. But, all in all..masterbating while watching porn from time to time IMO, is not something to worry about.


I watch porn too but I still want the real thing. So I can tolerate moderate interest in porn as long as he doesn't neglect me. But I think some men have problems with moderation. Hell, I'd like to believe guys just want sex and think of sex often. I wish. It wasn't the case at all with my husband. He thinks of sex often obviously, but not with me. And he said his libido was not as it used to be, apparently he had healthy libido for webcam sex with 18 year old Filipinas.

But since our break-up he loved to have webcam sex with me too! And if not because of geography, he said he would want to have sex with me every day.

What's going on with this guy? Can any man here tell me? Is it because now I am not his wife anymore, technically?


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## OFM_Tom

In my experience, women tend to think that they have to compete with porn. For the guys I know, it just isn't the case. Do you watch a movie like A Time to Kill (my wife loves M. McConaughey in that one) and want your husband less for it? Most women don't. It's the same for the guys I know and porn. Porn is a means to an ends. Given the choice between your wife and porn, and the wife wins every time. There is no competition. If a woman makes a big deal about it, it either leads to resentment (for making them stop) and frustration, or lying and guilt (for continuing anyhow).


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## mea_3

zengoddess said:


> I watch porn too but I still want the real thing. So I can tolerate moderate interest in porn as long as he doesn't neglect me. But I think some men have problems with moderation. Hell, I'd like to believe guys just want sex and think of sex often. I wish. It wasn't the case at all with my husband. He thinks of sex often obviously, but not with me. And he said his libido was not as it used to be, apparently he had healthy libido for webcam sex with 18 year old Filipinas.
> 
> But since our break-up he loved to have webcam sex with me too! And if not because of geography, he said he would want to have sex with me every day.
> 
> What's going on with this guy? Can any man here tell me? Is it because now I am not his wife anymore, technically?


Well I agree that I'm sure some men have trouble with moderation, but not all men do and my bet is that the majority of men don't have a moderation issue when it comes to porn.. or there would be a ton of messed up marriages out there because of it.:scratchhead:

Now your not his wife anymore? If that's the case then why are you worried about what he thinks?


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## Lizzie60

OFM_Tom said:


> In my experience, *women tend to think that they have to compete with porn.* For the guys I know, it just isn't the case. Do you watch a movie like A Time to Kill (my wife loves M. McConaughey in that one) and want your husband less for it? Most women don't. It's the same for the guys I know and porn. Porn is a means to an ends. Given the choice between your wife and porn, and the wife wins every time. *There is no competition*. If a woman makes a big deal about it, it either leads to resentment (for making them stop) and frustration, or lying and guilt (for continuing anyhow).



I totally agree with the bold parts... there is no competition really... I love porn and I do not (never) wish I had sex with any of those well-hung studs... If I love someone I want sex with HIM.. 

I think a lot of couple would benefit from the help of porn to 'spruce up' their love life..


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## sandra

Hello, 

At first it bothered me. But now I dont care. I watch porn with my husband. Ive become more of a **** in bed. I have no problem whatsoever! Maybe there is something missing in your sexual life. I wasn't use to this porn crap until I got married. I was sexually abuse when I was little and figured sex wont be a big deal in my marriage but I was wrong! My husband loves sex hes a sex addict. 
I had to change how I am. Men dont like to be ignored! They want to play, suck, touch and get satisfied just like us woman do. 
Talk to your husband. See what he wants and tell him what u want!
It would make your relationship better....I tell him Im open to new ideas bring it on. 
Good luck!


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## CarolineMRF

GAsoccerman said:


> Caroline, so I suppose you never played with any of your "toys" when hubby wasn't home?
> 
> _My husband is always home when I play with my toy...However, he is asleep at night or not in the room...He wants to be my only lover and doesn't want to see this...I guess I don't blame him...A woman can really get it on.... _
> 
> Do you have any toys?
> 
> _Yes I have an Eroscillator...I call him "Eric"....Real hot...I only use it about every 10 days...I like to keep myself for my husband and something like this can be very addicting...This is what masturbation can be if it is real good....Men have proven this to me in conversations concerning Male Sexual Dysfuction...It really is a shame... _
> 
> Not going to get into it, but looking at some nude pics is not a big deal.


_There is quite a difference between "some" and a habit...When the cute young thing in front of you is so hot that you must think of her in your mind while you struggle to make love to your wife, then it is more than a habit...When foreplay on her is a problem as you can't keep from popping off than it is more than a habit...When you have to make an excuse for something that you know is wrong, then it is a habit...._

Please forgive on the underlining...I put it on and didn't know how to take it off without erasing the whole post.....


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## CarolineMRF

zengoddess said:


> This is what actually happened to my marriage. He was addicted to porn and paid webcam sex, he neglected me. Sex was a 5-10 mins affair every week/10 days with no foreplay. And he was lazy and came fast. I'm not sure if the PE was because of porn. Can anyone tell me the correlation? And I think he also mentioned that ejaculating didn't necessarily mean climaxing. So he implied he just came, but no orgasm. is it also because of porn?
> 
> I don't understand why some men find virtual sex more preferable than real sex. Is it because it's more convenient for them? He happened to once say also that sex was just too much work and a waste of time (and sex with me was like a chore!). Mind you I'm an attractive, in shape, athletic woman, not some overweight slob.
> 
> Someone said it's his self-esteem issue. Or maybe because I didn't stroke his ego enough knowing that I was so unfulfilled sexually?


You are completely right in everything you say here with the exception that a woman can be an "overweight slob and not attractive for a man that loves her to feel erotic heat and passion"...There are many couples like this where a woman is unattractive in some men's eyes, but they make love like the God's...

With Porn, beauty has nothing to do with it...There is another hot babe there opening for him all the time...His foreplay is in his mind...He doesn't have to stimulate her or bring her to orgasm...He says the word and she opens for him...She tells him how she is gonna take him to heaven...He exposes himself back to her to show her what he is doing...Even if he doesn't have a web cam, it is a hot game of make believe...He cum's quickly...He is hot...She has made him hot...She needs no work like a wife...She becomes a habit...Ready, willing and hot to trot...His harem...Along the line, slowly he forgets to remember what he has in his own stable...A beautiful wife in want...He pushes it farther out of his mind and once in a while does his dutiful chore...Sometimes in his mind he wants more...Maybe even thinks of a threesome...All these things require his immediate attention with his sexual parts...He gets lost in his own game of lust....This can bring on both premature ejaculation and in many cases complete loss of erectile powers with his wife....Many times he does not orgasm...

This, in my opinion, is one of the saddest things that is happening to men and relationships that there is...But it is a big money game...Doctors never admit it and the drug world makes a killing...My husband has never masturbated...Oh, maybe when he was young, but not since we married...Prior to 4 years ago this November, I never heard of a vibrator...I guess I am a slow learner...I am going to add this post on my 51 years married thread with many additions...Just my thoughts.....


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## mea_3

CarolineMRF said:


> My husband has never masturbated...Oh, maybe when he was young.


I'm just curious on how you know this about your H? He might very well masterbate and not tell you. I don't think most men would admit to their wives that they do. Perhaps this is a topic for another thread for the guys to answer.


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## CarolineMRF

mea_3 said:


> I'm just curious on how you know this about your H? He might very well masterbate and not tell you. I don't think most men would admit to their wives that they do. Perhaps this is a topic for another thread for the guys to answer.


I know my husband like the back of my hand...I asked him this last year...I thought I knew for sure, but wanted to hear what he said...This I needed to know in helping men at the Forum...


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## mea_3

CarolineMRF said:


> I know my husband like the back of my hand...I grew up in a different world than you did...Porn wasn't a word that floated around like it does now...I was a virgin...We couldn't keep our hands off each other...Especially him...As for me, I had a lot to learn...He was a well experienced and sexual great looking jock...He was my sailor...I recall early in our marriage he had a couple of wet dreams, but never masturbating...When I was with the Forum I asked him if he ever did this...I was trying to help men find themselves again sexually and needed to know if he did...I doubted it, but asked him anyway..He said lord no...Never even thought of it...We are good in bed...Actually always were, but not like now...He just plain drives me wild...Even though I have only had intercourse with my husband, I know how to drive a man pretty wild...He does the same with me...If you can imagine being with your first lover and his touching you for the first time and remember the erotic heat of finding your sexual parts, than you can imagine the street where I live....I haven't needed lubricant in over four years....Possibly understand what I have just said may make you understand why my husband doesn't masturbate...Please understand, I say this with deep humility...I am who and what God made me...I am completely uninhibited....



You have me so confused. You make it sound like you have been married forever, but then state that you have not used lube in the past four years? So, are you just married four years? Anway, I was more curious than anything about how you new for sure that your H did not masterbate. I guess he is one of the few that does not yank the chain. And how do you know what world I grew up in anyway?


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## CarolineMRF

mea_3 said:


> You have me so confused. You make it sound like you have been married forever, but then state that you have not used lube in the past four years? So, are you just married four years? Anway, I was more curious than anything about how you new for sure that your H did not masterbate. I guess he is one of the few that does not yank the chain. And how do you know what world I grew up in anyway?


I shortened my post before I saw this one by you...I did this because it was going off Topic...One man, one marriage and one love story...


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## mea_3

CarolineMRF said:


> I shortened my post before I saw this one by you...I did this because it was going off Topic...One man, one marriage and one love story...


OK. Sorry for the 20 questions here. I did not mean to take things off topic myself.


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## GAsoccerman

so Caroline, You use a vibrator, but your husband doesn't masterbate?? LOL he is lying to you, or he has a very low libido.

For a male, masterbating is no big deal, really it's just hormonal. 

But hey each to their own.


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## CarolineMRF

GAsoccerman said:


> so Caroline, You use a vibrator, but your husband doesn't masterbate?? LOL he is lying to you, or he has a very low libido.
> 
> For a male, masterbating is no big deal, really it's just hormonal.
> 
> But hey each to their own.


GAsoccerman: Two years ago in Orlando at the Contemporary he boinked me three times in one day for two days and two times in one day for two days...Does this sound like a low libido?...This is without any help from a pill, but only a wife in heat for him....... 

I got Eric my Eroscillator just about four years ago this January...Never used one before in my life with the exception of the other three I ordered at the same time and threw out...I was sexually curious...Hated the Rabbit and Eric came a week later...I got Eric for one reason...I am horny enough that I could be mounted three times a day...I am constantly in heat for my husband...This does not mean that I am crawling all over him...It means that I love him to death and when he wants sex, I am ready without getting ready....I guess I have the luck of the draw...Eric is only used if I am really hot and want to get it on...I try not to use him more than every 10 days or so...You see I found out early that vibrators can be very addicting to a woman....When I first got him I would use him a couple of times a day...Talked to my friend about this and she said that yes they can...Like she told me, keep yourself for your husband...Let him have that hot part of you...Hold off with the vibrator until he is tired and do it after he is asleep...You see my husband hates the vibrator...He is sexually jealous that something else can stimulate me as much as he can....That's just the way it is...

So why should he masturbate when I am sucking him or playing with him whenever we feel like it...May be bent over the patio after dark or whenever we get the urge...We just plain have the time of our life.....


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## GAsoccerman

our record is 18 times in 1 day...ahhh the college days.

Just saying, it's no big deal, I am glad you have a wonderful sex life and alot of women can learn from you.

but for males it is completely normal.

For instance, my son when he was 2 years old, down at our beach house, our Nephews girlfriend was sitting on the couch (22 years old) our son came out buck naked sat on the couch and was playing with his pee pee...standing tall and proud. My wife startled and screamed at me to make him stop, I started to laugh...she said to me "what is wrong with you?" I replied, " I'm just happy he is not gay!" ....lol The girl got a good laugh from it as well, It was innocent enough. 

Do you not have any boys for children? if you do then you notice from a very young age, they always play with it, it is completely normal....it never stops, and guess what it feels good.

but hey if your husband doesn't masterbate, then so be it, but I know I couldn't go with out it, love my wife dearly and she is always a willling participant, and we have a terrific sex life, but hey sometimes we like to play alone...nothing worng with that.

But you do sound like a fun partner, he is a lucky guy.


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## CarolineMRF

Thank you...I am the lucky one...We are a matching set...

I have two sons and one daughter...The boys never did it that I saw...They were both so deep into sports that I doubt they could have taken time to jack off...I know when they were around 10 or so, they hid Playboy magazines out in the cornfield with the other guys and probably did it there...If they did it in public, they would have been corrected...What they did in their room, they did in their room...Take care....

Caroline


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## chuckf75

I have never talked to ONE MAN who has never masterbated. I am sure there is one somewhere but where I don't know. Nude pics are normal as far as I am concerned. Anything is OK in moderation.


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## Pdad

I believe porn may be "normal," in terms of what today's society accepts, but it is not and cannot be healthy. A man- or woman- who uses porn is using it to stimulate themselves by not just innocently or appreciatively viewing as might be done with a great masterpiece or some art, but with lust toward another person, other than his/her spouse. Marriage must involve total trust and fidelity between the two spouses. Porn breaks that trust and helps lead the viewer toward other acts of infidelity and betrayal. I feel it is one of the great wedges that help destroy a marriage.


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## Dryden

While it can be damaging, I think it depends on the guy.

You won't find many a man that would not appreciate the sight of a naked woman. In my opinion though, it's how they view that woman. If they are viewing lustfully, then yes it can be very damaging to a relationship. However, men are visual beings. On the rare occasion that I do look at 'porn', I don't do it with the point of view that I'm envisioning myself and that woman. It's a visual stimulant to cause arousal. Usually I find myself looking for pictures of women that resemble my wife and I think of it being her that I'm looking at.

If she would have some nude pics of her for me, I wouldn't need to go looking though. Also, like someone else posted earlier, if we are having sex regularly, I don't even find the need or want to look at nude pics.


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## Holding Pattern

As a guy...the longer DW & I were together, we changed a bit physically. Nothing awful, just near 40 yo bodies are not 20 yo bodies. Looking at the near perfection online only made me dissatisfied with what I had.
Once I cut the porn, my desire for my wife was much rekindled.


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## MidwestDave

mirandawrites said:


> nude pics
> 
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Well my concern is when I am not home with him he will watch porn or find nude pics of woman on the internet free of course never has he paid for this and the video he watches is what he had prior of him and I meeting. Please I need to know if this is normal for a man and is this a healthy thing for him to be doing in our marriage?
> Thank you


Not sure we have enough information.

There is no doubt this behavior is very common. Secondly, it most cases it is not very harmful, if it is not an addictive behavior.

But if it is addictive and compulsive and if he is hiding it from you, it may indicate there is some underlying problem with your relationship.

Is he unhappy and using the porn to run away, for example? The Internet (porn, chat, forums, IM, or even compulsive surfing and shopping) can be harmful because it provides an easy avenue for escapism.

I would say unless you feel there is something like this going on, not to be so concerned.


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## Trenton

Caroline, my husband has told me he never masturbated. No one ever believes him...ever.

If 97% of all men masturbate there's 3% that don't. Every time I write this I get the...impossible to believe...thing going on. Still, I actually believe it and for various reasons and no, he does not have a low libido. I do masturbate; however, and him and I sometimes talk about it.

To the OP...normal is relative only to you. Like several posters already stated, if you have a problem with it and it bothers you then you need to vocalize it and give him a chance to speak.

Overall normal, I'd say I think it is but that doesn't mean that it would suit you well.


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## Kobo

Trenton said:


> Caroline, my husband has told me he never masturbated. No one ever believes him...ever.
> 
> If 97% of all men masturbate there's 3% that don't. Every time I write this I get the...impossible to believe...thing going on. Still, I actually believe it and for various reasons and no, he does not have a low libido. I do masturbate; however, and him and I sometimes talk about it.
> 
> To the OP...normal is relative only to you. Like several posters already stated, if you have a problem with it and it bothers you then you need to vocalize it and give him a chance to speak.
> 
> Overall normal, I'd say I think it is but that doesn't mean that it would suit you well.



I can believe it. I didn't masturbate until I was in my 20s. I started doing it on deployment. When I got out the Navy I stopped. I had enough action being single. You know how you ladies are when you're single  I started back up after a few years of marriage :O But now it's so infrequent. Guess I'm getting old.


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## Boogsie

CarolineMRF said:


> GAsoccerman: Two years ago in Orlando at the Contemporary he boinked me three times in one day for two days and two times in one day for two days...Does this sound like a low libido?...This is without any help from a pill, but only a wife in heat for him.......
> 
> I got Eric my Eroscillator just about four years ago this January...Never used one before in my life with the exception of the other three I ordered at the same time and threw out...I was sexually curious...Hated the Rabbit and Eric came a week later...I got Eric for one reason...I am horny enough that I could be mounted three times a day...I am constantly in heat for my husband...This does not mean that I am crawling all over him...It means that I love him to death and when he wants sex, I am ready without getting ready....I guess I have the luck of the draw...Eric is only used if I am really hot and want to get it on...I try not to use him more than every 10 days or so...You see I found out early that vibrators can be very addicting to a woman....When I first got him I would use him a couple of times a day...Talked to my friend about this and she said that yes they can...Like she told me, keep yourself for your husband...Let him have that hot part of you...Hold off with the vibrator until he is tired and do it after he is asleep...You see my husband hates the vibrator...He is sexually jealous that something else can stimulate me as much as he can....That's just the way it is...
> 
> So why should he masturbate when I am sucking him or playing with him whenever we feel like it...May be bent over the patio after dark or whenever we get the urge...We just plain have the time of our life.....


So it is ok for you to use your external stimulation (vibrator) but not for your husband to use his (porn)?

You think porn can replace sex in marriage, and it can, but toys can do the same thing, especially in marriages where the male partner isn't very skilled. After all, who wants to have bad sex when they can get better from a piece of plastic and a few batteries?

Double standards piss me off.


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## frankd

I would like to weigh in, if I may.
I believe that it's ok for a guy to watch porn and get off on his own, as long as it's considered Plan B.
I think we all agree that it can wreck a marriage, and cause sexual dysfunction by warping expectations and perceptions if it gets out of hand. But as a pressure relief? Why not. 
Better yet, there are some other threads about guys having nude pictures of their wives - voila, two problems solved!


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## ocotillo

CarolineMRF said:


> ...They were both so deep into sports that I doubt they could have taken time to jack off...


With deep respect...I don't think you understand the male gender as well as you may think.


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## Caligyrl

Holding Pattern said:


> As a guy...the longer DW & I were together, we changed a bit physically. Nothing awful, just near 40 yo bodies are not 20 yo bodies. Looking at the near perfection online only made me dissatisfied with what I had.
> Once I cut the porn, my desire for my wife was much rekindled.



This is the best explanation I have EVER heard! Thank you!


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## KanDo

mea_3 said:


> I would think it's very normal. It's only a picture and he's a guy.:lol:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _* “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”*_



Totally agree


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## effess

Some people will tell you its fine and you have the problem - but the main issue is that it bothers you. If it bothers you than thats that. 
He has to eat, he has to drink, breathe and feel emotional/physical love from you. He does not _have_ to look at porn.


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## jnyu44

I'd say it's probably much more common for a guy to take care of himself than it is for him not to at all. In terms of frequency, my friends are across the board. Some guys are daily, some are 2-3 times a week, and some are once every other week. I don't know any guy who says he doesn't do it himself, although I can believe that a guy like that exists. My guess would be that 2-3 times a week is what's normal for most guys but I don't have any factual evidence to back that up - it's just a guess based off my friends. 

I think that caroline's opinion should be taken into account knowing that she is married to someone who I believe is more the exception than the norm. Her relationship with her husband also seems very different from yours and your husbands. 

Bottom line is, it really depends on whether or not you can accept it, and what frequency you can accept. Of course, it's easier for you to just say nope I can't accept it at all without trying, but it'd be wise for you to consider the ramifications (him quitting is definitely an uphill battle). On the other hand, if it gets to the point where he's doing it daily and has nothing for you, that is not fair for you either because he doesn't have to work on having sex with you. 

Figure out what works for you. Some couples have matching libidos and neither partner needs to masturbate. Some couples have very different libidos and some of the difference can be made up through masturbation (I know of a wife who only wants it once a month and is ecstatic that her husband is willing to do it himself the rest of the time - and they are both happy!). 

Good luck!


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## Amplexor

Dredged Thread from 2009


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## kc8

Just putting my thoughts out there, been married almost 7 yrs to a gay man (recently found out) but before I knew all of that, felt like the ugliest woman in the world, wouldn't touch me or look at me, sex sometimes felt like he was masturbating inside of me, tried everything to be what he watched in the videos, never occured to me he was watching the guy. My feelings on the situation used to be if I was sick or on my monthly I didn't care, u can talk to the computer screen all u want, their not going to talk back. Which brings me to another point, In real life it wouldn't matter if u were the size of king kong, being with a porn star would be like a trip to the grand canyon. so as long as ur not being compared to these women by your husband and it's not affecting your sex life, let him take care of buisness at home, when ur together make it a point to rock his world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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