# Chaotic activities/2 homes



## ksrasra (Oct 7, 2015)

Perhaps a vent, and also welcome any suggestions.

My ex husband and i divorced in 2011. I moved about 10 minutes away. The 3 kids (all girls) were young ish so no issues regarding my problem yet.

Xh and i co parent wonderfully. Friendly, communicate about kids often, etc. No problems there.

Kids go to school a block from xh house. We are on a 2week on, 2 week off rotation.

Now that the kids are older, they want to spend time with their friends (near their dads). They have activities that require transportation many nights.

No problem, xh and i coordinate to share duties. 

But, the problem is when everyone says what they have planned for the day, xh and i plan our day accordingly. Then "A" says she is instead going here, and "B" wants to stay at her dads another night because of xxxx. And "c" cant make up her mind if she is doing xxxx. Xh and i end up communicating too much with half assed plans to make sure each kid is "looked after". Not only that, but when they want to do things around their dads house (area) that means that logically they are spending less time with me. And even though i am level headed, it still kinda hurts. 

It seems like basically, everybody is running in different directions and not sticking to any one plan. But there is no other way to do this.with 3 kids, me (or him) cant do it all.

I just wish we could be more organised. Even my kids get frustrated when the plans always change.


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## ksrasra (Oct 7, 2015)

Edit: another problem is my oldest has some MINOR responsibilities to do with looking after her siblings ( age appropriate responsibilities). According to her, we are ruining her social life (ahem!!!) Or putting too much pressure on her ( seriously... spoiled attitude)....but throw her issues plus chaos about the plans etc, and its making xh and i quite stressed and frazzled


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## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Shared Calendar to Manage Activities and Get the Family Organized | Cozi

When they want to change, say yes when it is easy, not when it isn't. Done.


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## Malpheous (May 3, 2013)

Just curious. What ages are we talking here?

We did a week on/off with Friday school rotation. As my daughter got older and her mother had moved 30+ miles up the road, it became an issue. Finding her first job, etc, was problematic. Not a lot of people hiring kids to work every other week. In the high school years, if the parents don't live in fairly close proximity, an argument for every other weekend or some other alternative arrangement could easily be made; in hindsight.


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