# Life CAN be good after divorce!



## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

I have been divorced for going on two years now. I had discovered my ex W was cheating on me with another man. During our separation and divorce she had dated four other men (to the best of my knowledge) or more. I use t feel jealous, but now I can only feel bad for the guys that she dates because I am afraid that they too will get hurt. But they are big boys, so they can take care of themselves.

It has been a long rough two years, but it is well worth the healing. The first year was the hardest, but after the second year had started I was feeling a little more relaxed because I had finally learned how to start letting go. Of course the holidays are still a little rough, especially since I had lost my mother to cancer on Christmas eve of 2011, but I am overcoming my anxieties and actually starting to enjoy the holidays (and life) again. This past six months have been the best for me, in terms of healing. In the beginning, I have attended group therapy and counseling, but they will only get you so far, (but they did provide me with some really great tools to learn how to cope, and to overcome). I have had good company with friends and members of my X's family (I'm still family to them).

I had met a young lady who was going through a divorce as well. I had helped her to move to a new home, plus I had helped her to work on her car and repairs to her home. We were only friends for the past year, but things have started to change for the both of us. Just this month, this young lady and I had started developing an interest in each other. We have built up a strong foundation of friendship and trust, and we can always rely on each other when the other was feeling down, or needed something done. Last month I had asked my young lady to go to Florida with me on a business trip. She accepted! She said that she has never had anyone treat her with decency and respect like I have, she still can't believe that I put her wants and needs first before mine, let alone take her on a trip.

Life after divorce is hard, but after time and healing it will get better. Sometimes we need that duration of time to "heal" before we are ready to move on. Today I am as happy as I can be, and I'm just getting happier as each and every day passes. 

So, for those who are struggling with separation or divorce, I can personally testify that there IS light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes that tunnel is long for a reason, to give you the time that you need to overcome and to heal. In the end, things will always get better.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

I remember you Remmons. We were talking about our Jeeps awhile back.  I also remember how down you were after your D. It's good to see that things have worked out for you. Good luck with your new relationship. :smthumbup:

I know that there are many here who can relate to your story and your words are encouraging to them. It's awesome that you posted your story. I hope those who are feeling down and discouraged as they experience life during and after divorce will be uplifted by it. It is always darkest before the dawn and there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.


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## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> I remember you Remmons. We were talking about our Jeeps awhile back.  I also remember how down you were after your D. It's good to see that things have worked out for you. Good luck with your new relationship. :smthumbup:
> 
> I know that there are many here who can relate to your story and your words are encouraging to them. It's awesome that you posted your story. I hope those who are feeling down and discouraged as they experience life during and after divorce will be uplifted by it. It is always darkest before the dawn and there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.


Thank you for your kind words! Yes, I have had a rather difficult time with my divorce, readjusting to the new single-life schedule, avoiding places where memories were made, and so forth.

In the past year, I have gotten better at handling the transition, and the realization that things had went they way that they did because they had, and there was no control over life and what has happened. I have finally learned how to let go of her and to move on, because she had no problem moving on. I couldn't live in being miserable all the time, it was just eating away at my insides.

I had met a young lady about a year ago. We remained friends, occasionally calling upon each other when we had needed help with something. She was going through a divorce too so we had something in common. We gave each other support when family and friends didn't, and that what was how I had won her heart. I was a changed man because of the help that I had sought, and because of the changes that I had decided to make in my life to make myself a better person. With my confidence and courage, she had noticed that I was, after all, a good guy who could be trusted.

We had started dating just a couple weeks ago, so we are still early in our relationship. But we have had so much fun together in these past two weeks, fun that neither of us had ever experienced with our past relationships.

Just last Saturday, we had taken a road trip just out of town to Dinosaur National Monument (we live in Vernal, Utah). Her car couldn't make it to Josie's cabin, a historical land mark. So instead we had just parked the car and talked. All of a sudden she said that she wanted to do some thing crazy. I said "o.k." in a surprised manner. She wanted to make a Snow Angel! She got out of the car, buttoned up her coat, walked to the side of the road, and plopped herself back into the snow and proceeded to make a snow angel. I decided what the heck! I will do it too! Keep in mind that she is 39, and I am 46. We had a blast doing this!

After we had finished doing this and drove for a short distance, we had stopped at an overlook. She had another crazy wild idea, and asked me to do something with her without asking what it was. I said "Sure, I'm up for game!" She had put on a song on her I-Phone and had asked me to dance with her, on the side of the road at an over look. I said Yes! I have never danced before. It was a most wonderful feeling that I have ever had! After that we had went to the Quarry and had a tour. She hasn't been to there since she was in grade school!

The rest of the day had went great. We had the most fun that we could have ever had. So, I can personally testify that good things CAN happen after divorce. You just need to make the necessary changes to your life, and have the patience, strength, and courage to get through your "down" time, and never get into a hurry to date. All good things will happen to good people, all in good time.


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## Freak On a Leash (Feb 19, 2010)

:smthumbup: Sounds like a fun chick! I wish you the best of luck with her. 

My Jeep would've made it to the cabin.  

Seriously though, as time goes on and you make new, fun memories with someone else you'll soon forget about your ex. Out with the old, in with the new!


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## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

Freak On a Leash said:


> :smthumbup: Sounds like a fun chick! I wish you the best of luck with her.
> 
> My Jeep would've made it to the cabin.
> 
> Seriously though, as time goes on and you make new, fun memories with someone else you'll soon forget about your ex. Out with the old, in with the new!


LOL! My Jeep would have made it too! We had her car, but it was still fun though. My Jeep isn't the greatest, after all I did resurrect it from a semi-rolling shell. As you know, all Jeeps are a continued work of progress.

I totally agree with you on the memories. We both have been doing things to create new memories. She has some painful ones too that she needs to reformat, so to speak, and so far we are doing a great job at it.

Thank you for your response, and kind words. Keep on Jeepin!


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