# Had my first IC session



## jenny123

It's not what I expected. Seems like I did most of the talking. Is this common for the first session? My H is going to her next week for IC and if he is on board, then we will start MC. 

I just want to make sure I didn't pick a poor counselor. She was referred by my doctor's office.


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## lamaga

Good for you for going to IC!

You should always be talking more in counseling than your therapist, so that's ok. The more important question is if you felt comfortable with her. That's really the key factor.


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## Matt1720

My first few sessions, I was so desperately lost and in need of some sort of advice/validation. What I got in return was an outlet to really let it hang out there. Someone who would ask me to explain a certain phrase further. Someone who wanted to hear about our history.

As the sessions progressed, no matter how desperately i needed someone to "just tell me what to do" they didnt. I had to really think about it myself. Through all the pain I was able to step back and say "i need to get better for myself". I'd spend all week thinking about what i'd shared, and wanted to elaborate more/tell more of my story. I stopped giving a history of my marriage and really started to explore problems with ME. 

I realized that my therapist would ask questions more about me, and less about W. She's never met the W, and i realized I can't speak for the W, just my side. Hope this helps!


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## diwali123

It depends on what kind of a therapist you go to. Masters in social work are going to be more practical and talk more and give more real world help. Psychologists are going to be more the type to let you talk and figure things out yourself. 
No matter who you go to, your goal shouldn't be to have them figure things out for you, but to guide you into figuring it out for yourself. Especially the first few times you go, you are going to be doing most of the talking because they want to know what your story is and who you are. 
Honestly this is coming from someone who has been in counseling most of my life with numerous practitioners. I don't like it when they talk a lot unless they are trying to probe deeper or offer true insight into what I'm going through.


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