# Confused...please help!



## Diamondsrbff (Jul 17, 2010)

My H moved out 2 months ago saying he wanted a trial separation. He said he didn't love me anymore. Several people have questioned him about if there was someone else and he is adamant that there isn't and I believe him...I have driven by his apartment several different time all times of day/night and his car is always there...plus when he was home there was no indication that there was anyone...he was always home. I can see him on-line as well. 

He recently told my bro-in-law that he does want to spend time with me but doesn't want to be grilled about what is going on between us. I'm starting to think that he does care for me but cares to be alone more...he has always been a loner, quiet and loves to spend time on the computer. I feel that this is unhealthy and possibly a sign of depression. He refuses to go to counseling. What do I do? 

Do I just sit and wait for the 6 mos to be over and see what he decides to do? He comes by to hang with our son, he has bought tickets for us to do things together as a family but everytime I see him I break some more...it's getting harder. 

Would love some advice..is there hope? Should I give an ultimatum? 
Thanks


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## Deb1234 (May 31, 2009)

I hate it when I post something and no one answers. 

I think it's the really tough ones that go the longest without a response. Did you see that "When did you take off your wedding ring?" thread? Yikes!

As far as your husband goes...I'm not, by any means, any kind of an expert on relationships (as you can tell by my many threads), but if it were me, I'd give him the space and it sounds like you have. Two months is a long time! Six months is even longer! 

Maybe you could test the waters and see if he is willing to sit down and have a heart to heart with you? I understand people need space and time to figure things out sometimes, but I think he's being a little selfish asking you to put your life on hold while he gets his head straight for *half a year*! 

If it were me, I'd like to think that I would ask him to sit down and talk to me and if he wasn't ready, I'd give him that ultimatum. One more month to think things through and that's it. 

Now you probably know him better than most so go with what your heart and your head are telling you to do, whether that be going after him now or waiting a little bit longer, but don't let him string you along. That's just not fair to you or your son.

Good luck!


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## takris (Sep 22, 2010)

I think that after two months, he owes you a few answers, at least answers to let you know what's on his mind.

Maybe if you assure him that you will not ask about the relationship issues in a meeting, do you think he would sit down to discuss what timeline he has in mind? And you are entitled to set some deadlines. If you are willing, it could also include some personal counseling if the time frame is longer than you expected.

I only wonder if he feels safe, knowing you will be there when he makes up his mind. Only you can answer the question of how far you wil let it go.


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