# Talking Teen



## ybfat1 (Jan 3, 2016)

We've decided to split but haven't told our fifteen year old any tips while we wait to get into a mediation counselor? Thanks Friends

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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

ybfat1 said:


> We've decided to split but haven't told our fifteen year old any tips while we wait to get into a mediation counselor? Thanks Friends
> 
> Sent from my B3-A20 using Tapatalk


*Only if they ask!

And absolutely no fighting or emotionalism around the sensitive teen!*


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## ResignedWife (Jan 20, 2017)

My husband and I, before we decided to try reconciliation, decided not to tell our kids until all mediation was DONE, final documents in hand, and sessions fully paid for. Once that was done, we began discussing HOW we'd tell the kids and even scripted some discussion points that we knew would come up - the intention was for BOTH parents to talk (we had kind of "assigned" different talking points to each parent). We agreed there would be no blaming or negative talk about the other parent, and that we'd keep it civilized.

In the end, we decided to try and reconcile and didn't tell the kids - and we're glad we didn't tell them BEFORE mediation and cause needless pain.

My recommendations:
1) Meet with mediator and get everything hammered down and documented FIRST - including the parenting plan.
2) If you and your spouse are separating amicably, create talking points that EACH spouse will handle during the conversation with the teen
3) If the separation has ANY animosity, ask the mediator (or a counselor) to help you come up with the best way to tell the child


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