# Torn #2



## Jiffy (Nov 1, 2012)

So I have been thinking a lot these past few days and I think I now want to try and save my marriage. In the heat of things I was ready to leave, even a few days after the heat died down I still wanted to leave, but now I feel willing to try and work it out. (is that normal, has that happened to any of you?) 

I honestly don't know what happened and what changed my mind, but I figured I would give my marriage one last shot to work and mend things. Really put in some effort and make some changes in myself to try to do my part.

I told my husband this and he rejects me. I ask him if he still wants a divorce and he won't flat out say he wants one but he won't say he wants to be with me either. He told me I said some unforgivable things to him that he will never forget. And that he could never put me before him. But we both said some things out of line.( side note: is agrueing and saying mean things to each other apart of being married, if not is it means for a divorce? or for my particular situation my husband went out with another female, is that means for a divorce) 

Am I stupid for telling him lets work it out. I kind of feel like I'm being the bigger person but as the same time I feel dumb for making myself vulnerable again. He continues to regect me when I say things like 'I love you', ' I will always care about you'... and to be honest it hurts, but I know I should'nt expect him to jump in my arms right away just because I had a change of heart. 

I feel more at peace with myself since I did take this step.

Will keep updating as things unfold... but what do yall think, has anyone ever had a sudden change of heart even though you felt spouse did you wrong.

Does this sound like I'm blinded by love and just stupid or could this be the right thing to do?


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## daisygirl 41 (Aug 5, 2011)

Is he still seeing the OW or has feelings for her? 
This is the most probable reason why he rejected you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

Jiffy said:


> ...has anyone ever had a sudden change of heart even though you felt spouse did you wrong.


Yes. I had moved out and as far as I was concerned it was over and done with. But something inside me made me try one last time. I put everything I had in to it. Ended up her asking me to come back home and I did.

Unfortunately SHE wasn't any different, only me. So I'm back to considering divorce. But if you think there is ANY chance of saving it, than it's worth it.

But don't expect your epiphany to cause him to have one. He has to come around on his own. It HAS to be a two-way street or it's just not ever going to work.


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## Jiffy (Nov 1, 2012)

He said he has had a few conversations with the OW, but hasn't seen her. He claims the rejection comes from the hurt I inflicted on him. I was trying to make light of things and asked him for a hug and he said F no and laughed. I really wanted to cry but held back the tears because I'm trying to be nice. 

If things like this continue I know I will eventually stop being nice and just give up. I just can't leave the battle without trying.

Thanks for responding.


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