# My new husband vs my 10 year old



## lisadell (Dec 20, 2015)

I am newly married and my 10 year old son is hot and cold on my DH. Somedays things are okay....others my son is rude and tough.
My DH recently started fighting with me in front of my son. It wasn't good. He threatened to leave me in front of my child. My son was very upset.
Well, fast forward to tonight. My son has been rude and difficult. I have punished him and told him he is disrpectful. He apologized.
My DH started holding me tight at dinner and rubbing my shoulders knowing that bothers my son and makes him jealous. My son started getting upset.
My DH asked him if he likes being a bully. That made my son cry. (at dinner in restaurant). Then my son started calling him names. I told them both to stop. Then my son said he was going to elbow my husband in the chest. My DH laughed and made a fist and said he would grab my son's heart and squeeze it and hand it to him!.
I yelled STOP. They stopped for a short time but then my son asked my fiance, who speaks spanish, how to say AAAHOLE in spanish. My DH answered by saying ******* is (insert my son's name) in spanish.
I could not believe....what I was hearing!!!
What would you do? My son says (at times) he prefers living with his dad ... when this stuff happens ...I am a wreck!!

I told my dh last night that his coldness and angry responses to my son are not okay -- he said i need to realize that this kid needs to know when you hurl insults...you get them back...in life.

I am so worried...my son often tries to push my DH during disagreements, and my DH will say "you are mean!' to my son...

What should i do?


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Divorce him. 

I can't believe you would stay with someone who treated your son that way.

At minimum give his father full custody so he doesn't have to be around such a disrespectful and immature stepfather.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

I'd like to add that I think your son really has guts for standing up to such a jerk like that. Fine kid.
_Posted via Mobile Device_
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Wow, you need to stand up for your son here and tell your H that if he can't act like a grown man he needs to get the hell out. IMO you should have told the H to leave the restaurant the second he called your son an @sshole. Your son needs to see you standing up for him too. 
Why did you marry this man knowing he couldn't get along with your child?


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

Your poor boy .


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

How long did you date your new husband before marrying him? 

Was the relationship between your husband and your son always so contentious?


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## lisadell (Dec 20, 2015)

It's been hot and cold...and it didn't help that my ex hates him and talks badly about him to my son.

We dated for about a year...and initially my DH was great around him...because he was trying to show off all his wealth...to make my son like him most

I think that's why my DH gets so mad. He sees my son as an extension of my ex and the verbiage he hears...

So, my DH gets angry and acts like a bully, himself.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

And why do you tolerate it?

And please do not blame "parental alienation." I think your ex sees your husband very clearly. As does your son.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lisadell (Dec 20, 2015)

I told my dh he shouldn't have done that...but his response is my son shouldn't be saying this
would you divorce???


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

lisadell said:


> I told my dh he shouldn't have done that...but his response is my son shouldn't be saying this
> would you divorce???


In a heartbeat, sister!

Tell that guy he is out of your life as of now!

And please go hug and apologize to your sweet little boy!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You are the only mother your son has. You are the person who is supposed to protect him. Why not start doing that now? It's never too late to start doing the right thing.

Your husband is an ass. An adult "man" picking fights with 10 year olds bad, really bad. Dump the husband.

Show your son that you actually care for him.


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

Your husband sounds just like @Weirdo567 's how odd, you should look at some of her threads for advice.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Hi Weirdo567.

So you are still with the abusive man who steals your money, degrades you, cries like a baby, broke your hand to the point of you needed surgery and abuses your son.

Aren't you a piece of work? If your story is true, you are responsible for abusing your son because you subject him to this horrible man you are with. Shame on you!!!!

Cry all you want about your boyfriend. You are as bad as he is because he keep playing the game and staying with him.

The only person I feel sorry for is your son.

If you will not protect your son and leave your sick boyfriend, please give up all parent rights to him so that he is not subjected to this abuse.


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Um, I wouldn't have married in the first place. 

So why did you marry this guy knowing he hated your son? 

You have a choice....pick the rich husband or your son.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

kristin2349 said:


> Your husband sounds just like @Weirdo567 's how odd, you should look at some of her threads for advice.


You win the "where is Weirdo567" egghead hunt prize >


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## SlowlyGoingCrazy (Jun 2, 2011)

Is his wealth the reason why you are still with him? Are you picking money over your child?


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> Hi Weirdo567.
> 
> So you are still with the abusive man who steals your money, degrades you, cries like a baby, broke your hand to the point of you needed surgery and abuses your son.
> 
> ...


Oh Jeez!


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

jld said:


> Divorce him.
> 
> I can't believe you would stay with someone who treated your son that way.
> 
> ...


:iagree: Your new husband is an immature person and I can see why your 10 year old hates him. I know I would. And your son will hate you, too, if you don't rectify this situation quickly. You have two males behaving like children here, and while both could behave better, you must have higher expectations of the "adult."


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## kristin2349 (Sep 12, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> You win the "where is Weirdo567" egghead hunt prize >



I heard the prize was a T-Shirt and a large deposit to my PayPal account. I'll PM my info>


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

kristin2349 said:


> I heard the prize was a T-Shirt and a large deposit to my PayPal account. I'll PM my info>


Yea, it's quite a prize!!! I'll wait for your PM >


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## GusPolinski (Jan 21, 2014)

lisadell said:


> I am newly married and my 10 year old son is hot and cold on my DH. Somedays things are okay....others my son is rude and tough.
> My DH recently started fighting with me in front of my son. It wasn't good. He threatened to leave me in front of my child. My son was very upset.
> Well, fast forward to tonight. My son has been rude and difficult. I have punished him and told him he is disrpectful. He apologized.
> My DH started holding me tight at dinner and rubbing my shoulders knowing that bothers my son and makes him jealous. My son started getting upset.
> ...


I was actually going to ask her if she had both a "DH" and a "fiance".


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## BioFury (Jul 9, 2015)

jld said:


> In a heartbeat, sister!
> 
> Tell that guy he is out of your life as of now!
> 
> ...


Sweet little boy? Her husband is no catch, but her son was acting just as inappropriately.


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## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

BioFury said:


> Sweet little boy? Her husband is no catch, but her son was acting just as inappropriately.


He is defending himself against a bully, and probably trying to protect his mom, too.


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## Omego (Apr 17, 2013)

If my stepchildren had insulted me like that, at that age, asking me how to say a$$hole in whatever language, I wouldn't call them sweet little children.

This being said, the H's reaction was totally inappropriate.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

lisadell said:


> I am newly married and my 10 year old son is hot and cold on my DH. Somedays things are okay....others my son is rude and tough.
> My DH recently started fighting with me in front of my son. It wasn't good. He threatened to leave me in front of my child. My son was very upset.
> Well, fast forward to tonight. My son has been rude and difficult. I have punished him and told him he is disrpectful. He apologized.
> My DH started holding me tight at dinner and rubbing my shoulders knowing that bothers my son and makes him jealous. My son started getting upset.
> ...


Bit confused. You mention DH and then fiancée. 

If he is the latter, dump him. He is no good for you or your boy.

If the former, divorce him, He is no good for you or your boy.


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## Blondilocks (Jul 4, 2013)

I wish this OP would buy herself a television set.


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## Annie123 (Apr 27, 2015)

lisadell said:


> *I am newly married and my 10 year old son is hot and cold on my DH. * Somedays things are okay....others my son is rude and tough.
> My DH recently started fighting with me in front of my son. It wasn't good. He threatened to leave me in front of my child. My son was very upset.
> Well, fast forward to tonight. My son has been rude and difficult. I have punished him and told him he is disrpectful. He apologized.
> My DH started holding me tight at dinner and rubbing my shoulders knowing that bothers my son and makes him jealous. My son started getting upset.
> ...


I was 99% positive it was weirdo after the first sentence, the thing that confirmed it was seeing that the account/username was banned >


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Weirdo's baaaaaaaaack....

The plot is even more ridiculous this time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

OP, if you can read this I think it is likely that you need help. And I am being serious.

I think you have issues that you really should address.

There are many different types of therapy that are available. Your MD will be able to identify which would work best for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Spotthedeaddog (Sep 27, 2015)

EleGirl said:


> Hi Weirdo567.
> 
> So you are still with the abusive man who steals your money, degrades you, cries like a baby, broke your hand to the point of you needed surgery and abuses your son.
> 
> ...



Of if the son _is_ being abused the admins could actually report their knowledge to child services (as they are legally required to do in cases of child abuse)


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

spotthedeaddog said:


> Of if the son _is_ being abused the admins could actually report their knowledge to child services (as they are legally required to do in cases of child abuse)


Not necessarily. Different jurisdictions have different rules.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

spotthedeaddog said:


> Of if the son _is_ being abused the admins could actually report their knowledge to child services (as they are legally required to do in cases of child abuse)


No the mods are not required to report to child services. We are not mandatory reporters. We don't even know if this story is real.

The 'abuse' that the poster has talked about is more on the emotional and verbal level. It's not illegal. It is just wrong.


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