# Success stories



## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Anyone here have any success stories to share? By that I mean, you came here looking for advice on a married sex problem and after trying some of the advice you received, can say things turned around and have stayed that way for some time?

Just curious if it really happens?


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Yes...I divorced him. A true success story. Life is much better 


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## Elizabeth001 (May 18, 2015)

Seriously...successful reconnection stories are few and far between in these here parts. Let’s face it...if you’re in such a place that you feel the need to reach out to a bunch of internet strangers for help, chances are...it’s too late or was just a bad idea from the beginning. Just my $0.02.


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## FloridaGuy1 (Nov 4, 2019)

Elizabeth001 said:


> Seriously...successful reconnection stories are few and far between in these here parts. Let’s face it...if you’re in such a place that you feel the need to reach out to a bunch of internet strangers for help, chances are...it’s too late or was just a bad idea from the beginning. Just my $0.02.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


First off, the divorce response kind of made me smile. Sorry you had to go through that but I did too so I know how it feels.

Next, is I was thinking the same thing.


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Anyone here have any success stories to share? By that I mean, you came here looking for advice on a married sex problem and after trying some of the advice you received, can say things turned around and have stayed that way for some time?
> 
> Just curious if it really happens?


It did for me. 

I came here fairly lost. Posters on this site got me back on track, which in turn helped me rebuild my marriage, which was nearly entirely sexless (twice per year or less). Our frequency is a couple of times per week now give or take, and we actually have a connection. It is also adventurous, with some minor kink. Most importantly, there is no more "hurry up" crap or other nonsense. 

It is possible. But it requires a cocktail of self improvement, boundaries, a willingness to walk, and a partner who is willing to work with you.

That said, the most frequent thing we see tanking the improvement of a sexless marriage is either a lack of willingness for the sex starved partner to really, truly improve, or a sex stingy partner that is simply not willing to work with the other spouse. 

ETA: After refreshing my memory about some of your previous posts, I am inclined to say that the former of the either/or situation is most likely in your case. Or, at least the latter can't be truly determined until the former is ruled out. 

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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

nope, but I think mine is/was an extreme case.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Not for nuthin', but the standard, overused response you will always get on message boards is "get therapy." Whether it's due to a cheater screwing up your life, being stuck with an abusive or unloving spouse, or being stuck in a sexless marriage. The old go-to is "get therapy."

Everyone thinks therapy is the magic cure for literally anything that ails you. Well that and self-help books. 

Honestly, I'd never ask a message board for advice because I already know what the "advice" would be.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

In Absentia said:


> nope, but I think mine is/was an extreme case.


I don’t think your wife’s situation is extreme at all. I think millions of women the whole world over are just like her.

What is extreme is the amount of crap you put up with.


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## In Absentia (Aug 21, 2012)

oldshirt said:


> I don’t think your wife’s situation is extreme at all. I think millions of women the whole world over are just like her.
> 
> What is extreme is the amount of crap you put up with.


Difficult to know where to draw the line. On one hand, I feel I should look after her because she has mental issues, on the other, she's always refused to seek help, leaving me immensely frustrated.


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## joannacroc (Dec 17, 2014)

I successfully uncovered my XH's infidelity and successfully lost 285 pounds of dead weight. Can't say I miss wondering where he is and being gaslit (gaslighted?) constantly. Or the grown up temper tantrums. That was all thanks to TAM 

There are things I'm still working through and need to fix my picker, but I prefer being divorced to being unhappily married if that answers your question.


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## FlaviusMaximus (Jan 10, 2012)

FloridaGuy1 said:


> Anyone here have any success stories to share? By that I mean, you came here looking for advice on a married sex problem and after trying some of the advice you received, can say things turned around and have stayed that way for some time?
> 
> Just curious if it really happens?


Sure. I get good advice here, mostly in the way of alternate perspectives. When I express a problem often times the people that respond see another aspect of my situation I hadn't considered. It is helpful in keeping myself in check and suspending my ego.


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