# Recently found - sex vids - and guess who's the star?? WTF?



## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

I recently posted the "porn perception" thread. I was so very concerned with my husbands recent delve into porn etc. Now I think I have a bigger worry. . . .

Last night I borrowed his laptop. Im not a snooper, but find things because idk if he's absent minded or if he's wanting me to find them. Although I find it hard to believe the latter could be true. On it his video editing software was open, which is not unusual as my H does videos, and works in the film industry. I took a closer look at the open frames and OMFG, he has been videoing us having sex. I don't know WHEN this started, but there are a bunch of them. I couldn't believe it, my mouth just hung open as I looked at em. Holy ****!! was all I could keep saying over and over. 
I shut the laptop right away. WTF? Now Im worried he's going to edit them to be uploaded onto those sites he just recently joined.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

He's never asked. I guess I don't know how to feel. In a slight sense I guess Im somewhat flattered, but more than that, I feel violated. My body is for my husband only and not to video, even if he says its only for him. Our libidos match nicely, we're both active in the bedroom. He could have me whenever he wants, but that doesn't mean I want to be filmed. Its degrading and embarrassing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Whatshisname (Jan 12, 2011)

It _is_ a bit flattering in one regard but a total violation of your privacy on the other. I can't imagine how shocked you must have been. Heck, I'm surprised you didn't delete everything - you'd have every rite to.
So can you tell where he was hiding the camera?


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## AgentD (Dec 27, 2010)

I have heard of sites like rate my girlfriend or wife, hope it doesn't end up on those sites for people to rate you all. That would be surely degrading. Unless you thought it was flattering.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

This is a violation in every sense of the word and there is no doubt in my mind that he is planning to post this online. 
Heard of privacy laws? In 16 states just the mere filming without consent is illegal. Posting it online without verbal and in some cases written consent is illegal in 29 states. 
This isn't him being "into you", this is about him taking a private act that you share with your husband and filming it without your consent. If he was so "into you" he would have asked first. Period!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I think you should let him know you did not appreciate his doing this without your knowledge of coarse and have a long talk about *honesty* from here on in -in everything.
> 
> But try to hold on to some of the flattery, it really could be worse.
> 
> ...


No disrespect SA. None. Her body isn't his body. It is her body. She doesn't give up the right to hers because she is married. He videotaped them with the express intent of posting it online. Her parents, kids teachers, boss, friends, clergy, neighbors, in laws could have access to this, not to mention random sickos out there who are using her acts for their own private pleasure. Without her consent. 
He wasn't planning on being honest about it either. She found it. As for flattery? Yeah, no. I wouldn't be flattered in any way that somebody I trusted so much violated my trust for his own purpose. 
There is a reason this is a crime in many states.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Brennan said:


> This is a violation in every sense of the word and there is no doubt in my mind that he is planning to post this online.
> Heard of privacy laws? In 16 states just the mere filming without consent is illegal. Posting it online without verbal and in some cases written consent is illegal in 29 states.
> This isn't him being "into you", this is about him taking a private act that you share with your husband and filming it without your consent. If he was so "into you" he would have asked first. Period!


I agree with this! Sex should only be filmed with the knowledge and consent of both partners. I fail to see how such a violation is a compliment.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Mrs.G said:


> I agree with this! Sex should only be filmed with the knowledge and consent of both partners. I fail to see how such a violation is a compliment.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It isn't a compliment. It is a serious violation of her rights and he thought nothing of them. She is doing intimate things with her husband in the privacy of their home/bedroom. She has the expectation of privacy and not that this jerk is filming them without her knowledge and further planning to post them online for the entire world to see without her consent. 
As I said before, this isn't about him being "into her" this is about his inability to respect his wife. If he was "into her", he would have damn well asked.


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Brennan said:


> It isn't a compliment. It is a serious violation of her rights and he thought nothing of them. She is doing intimate things with her husband in the privacy of their home/bedroom. She has the expectation of privacy and not that this jerk is filming them without her knowledge and further planning to post them online for the entire world to see without her consent.
> As I said before, this isn't about him being "into her" this is about his inability to respect his wife. If he was "into her", he would have damn well asked.


I added the comment about the "flattering" aspect, because I wanted to know how some of the other posters reached that conclusion.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

SimplyAmorous said:


> I am not disagreeing with anyone here at all. If you will notice - I specifically said
> 
> I didn't expect anyone to think they should agree. My point was if my husband did that (without the intent of putting it online, but for his own personal use - I would just find the HIDING of it worse than the filming.
> 
> ...


Regardless if he plans to put it online, it is still a violation of her trust. As for him not telling her of previous things posted, of course he is going to lie. He has already proven that he doesn't respect her and her rights and only thinks of himself. What can she do? Three things. Ignore it and move on with her life albeit with concern, confront her husband and ask for the username and login id to the various websites to see if he has posted anything of them or contact a lawyer to send two letters to the ISP and the owner of the websites to see if anything comes back to her IP address. ISP's assign new addresses all the time, millions in fact. She cannot tackle this on her own. They will not respond. With a threat of legal action, they will trace it down to a single computer. The content will be deleted. Like I said, in 29 states this is illegal and for a reason. Having your sex life paraded around the internet is not something you should endure.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Please ignore all of my posts, (I am deleting them), because I do not belong on this thread at all, I am not aware of the legalities of this type of issue & never faced such a thing. Listen to those who know what they are talking about.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

It's strange to me that two out of the five poster put a positive spin on this. Both of them women. Even women are now seeing themselves in terms of how useful they are sexually. 

This is a criminal act, a flagrant violation of her rights as a human being and a betrayal of emense proportions. If he posted this and you are recognized, it could effect your ability to get employment, if could effect your relationships, it could be a source of embarassment and shame. It remains online in perpetuity, when you divorce this loser, you will have to tell your next long-term partner just in case some buddy of his recognizes you. 

Yet the first post refers to one man's sexual attraction rather than the emotional and personal harm of a criminal act perpetrated by a snake in her own house were she should be safe. Her protector, the man she married regards her as an object for his sexual gratification. 

What is the problem with women? Have we lost all sense of ourselves as humans? Are we siding with pop culture now and seeing ourself as good for sex with no human rights. Is her husbands sexual perversion more important than his wife's right to privacy. 

Kick the loser out of your house, confescate the computer and store in a locked safe place for evidence. Take out a criminal complaint and divorce him. He is not worth any consideration. You are an object to him show him that you are indeed human. It will be a lesson he will not forget. 

Don't take this lightly the repercussions for you are serious and long lasting but, for him, he gets perverted pleasure at your expense. Disgusting pervert.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sakaye (Feb 15, 2011)

I have moved all the files to my personal hard drive. I kept the original files that have a date stamp to em so that the created and edited dates could be traced. When my H gets home tonight we are going to talk about finalizing our divorce, and this video taping escapade. 
Prior to this we were on a rocky road to reconciliation, but with all of these new pop up issues, I now see that there can be no resolution. I refuse to be an object of sexual stimulation for him or anyone else. I am so very upset, and where there was maybe a hint of flattery, there is only anger and embarrassment left. I definitely cannot believe I truly trusted this man and felt safe with him. He is highly disturbed and needs help for sure.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> It's strange to me that two out of the five poster put a positive spin on this. Both of them women. Even women are now seeing themselves through the eyes of men - whether or not they are eeefable
> 
> . This is a criminal act, a flagrant violation of her rights as a human being and a betrayal of emense proportions. If he posted this and you are recognized, it could effect your ability to get employment, if could effect your relationships, it could be a source of embarassment and shame. Wince it will be online in perpetuity, when you divorce this loser, you will have to tell a long term partner in case some buddy of his recognizes you.
> 
> ...


I agree. It is unbelievable to me. very well said.

I have no issue with my fiance filming me or us, but he knows this, we have discussed our boundaries. He also would never ever ever post them online, and if I thought he would, I could never trust him again.

What a horrible situation to be in.

You need to confront him. Tell him that if you had known you may have consented to private movies of the two of you, but now your trust is shattered. Tell him if he posts anything online you will sue him. That's just beyond revolting.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm with Catherine and Brennan (and I'm a guy). It's especially concerning because (I believe) you two are in the process of separating? Or am I wrong on that? In any case, it's a huge violation of your privacy, and a huge risk to you that those videos are going to end up somewhere you have no control over.

C


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

This ain't flattery! Be sure to tell your attorney what he has done. I really hope none of the videos have already made their way to the internet sites. Do you think they have?


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

PHTlump said:


> "my body is his body." Another poster disputes that very concept.


Listen, I am very sorry that I made the stupid comments I made, I think these thoughts of mine has caused all this uproar. When I did so, It was with the intention of thinking this husband was going to use them for PRIVATE USE only, my mind was not jumping to him using them online, and what that Represented - probably should have been (like the other posters) but wasn't when I posted. 

I do not even know where you do such a thing as that!! I agree with everyone that is pathetically wrong, and he can not be at all trusted -if he did such a thing. I am not against making such vidoes , but I am against any form of hiding and lying.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Sakaye said:


> He's never asked. I guess I don't know how to feel. In a slight sense I guess Im somewhat flattered, but more than that, I feel violated. My body is for my husband only and not to video, even if he says its only for him. Our libidos match nicely, we're both active in the bedroom. He could have me whenever he wants, but that doesn't mean I want to be filmed. Its degrading and embarrassing.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


How so?...in your view, in my is a way to keep sex exciting....think about it, by having your own videos you can get horny at looking at yoursefl making love to your wife...or by just lookint at your wife and everything she becomes when making love to you..in my case is like looking at my wife and I think only caw she is so hot....is like seeing my wife for the very first time, is exciting and just bring us closer together....what is the problem in wanting others telling you how hot is your wife, as long as our faces dont show....is all good:smthumbup:


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

marcopoly69 said:


> How so?...in your view, in my is a way to keep sex exciting....think about it, by having your own videos you can get horny at looking at yoursefl making love to your wife...or by just lookint at your wife and everything she becomes when making love to you..in my case is like looking at my wife and I think only caw she is so hot....is like seeing my wife for the very first time, is exciting and just bring us closer together....what is the problem in wanting others telling you how hot is your wife, as long as our faces dont show....is all good:smthumbup:


You really think it's OK to post a video of your wife online without her permission, to boost your own ego?


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Sakaye said:


> I recently posted the "porn perception" thread. I was so very concerned with my husbands recent delve into porn etc. Now I think I have a bigger worry. . . .
> 
> Last night I borrowed his laptop. Im not a snooper, but find things because idk if he's absent minded or if he's wanting me to find them. Although I find it hard to believe the latter could be true. On it his video editing software was open, which is not unusual as my H does videos, and works in the film industry. I took a closer look at the open frames and OMFG, he has been videoing us having sex. I don't know WHEN this started, but there are a bunch of them. I couldn't believe it, my mouth just hung open as I looked at em. Holy ****!! was all I could keep saying over and over.
> I shut the laptop right away. WTF? Now Im worried he's going to edit them to be uploaded onto those sites he just recently joined.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Relax....just talk to him but dont get super mad at him...he gets very horny when he is getting the shots and you are in it....remember one of those sessions, dont you remember your husband super horny?....is what we want ....to feel alive, excited....and you should be happy that your husband finds you sexy and hot....the problem is not telling you that he is recording you....as for the online thing, I would tell him that if he ever post anything, that you only want to make sure your face is covered so nobody can tell is you...othewise, what is the demage if nobody knows you and your husband receives a buch of wow men your wife is hot....dont you think will help your husband to appriciate you ever more??


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Marc,

This would be flattering to her if he had actually ASKED first. Add to that the fact that he's also looking at porn on his own and you'll start to see that this guy has a problem.

EVERYONE - married or not - has a right to privacy. Mess with that privacy, and you'll no longer be trusted.

If your wife took a video of you taking a really big nasty $hit and posted it on youtube without your consent, would that be OK?

If your wife posted some kind of transcript on FB of all the things you've said while making love - would THAT be OK? What if she made it into a "Top Ten" list that most people would think was funny - except for maybe you? Kind of like when Prince Charles told Camilla he wanted to be a tampon so he could get up inside her. I'm sure you've said things in the heat of the moment that you wouldn't want broadcasted without your knowledge and consent.

I personally don't want to be videotaped doing ANYTHING in the privacy of my own home WITHOUT CONSENT.

I'm suprised it isn't illegal in EVERY state.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

It was wrong for the husband to film their sex without the wife's permission! 

It is disrespectful towards her. 

I don't care if it is only for his own entertainment or not, it was very wrong of him.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

This kind of invasion of privacy is a felony crime in many states that if convicted, a person faces years in prison for doing it.

That her face may be photoshopped out is kind of irrelevant.

It's offensive on so many levels.

There is no consent, it poisons the essence of being intimate with your spouse.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

michzz said:


> This kind of invasion of privacy is a felony crime in many states that if convicted, a person faces years in prison for doing it.
> 
> That her face may be photoshopped out is kind of irrelevant.
> 
> ...


Word. Expectation of privacy within marriage is a right. It isn't debatable. What I do in my bedroom is done in private. What I do in my bathroom is done in private. I have the expectation that those things aren't going to be filmed for somebody elses pleasure, internet or no internet. Ya wanna make a film, cool. Ask first.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

this is a travesty of justice


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

And I'm sure all us non-pros look fairly stupid writhing around and such.


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

Some of you people are jumping to conclusions (he's going to put it on a porn site, call the police, divorce him, arrested for a felony, years in prison). SERIOUSLY? Sounds like we have some man haters up in here.

I try to photograph or record my wife all the time (in the shower, getting out of the shower, naked in bed, etc). It pisses her off, but that's what I do .

Do you have a copy? If not get a copy and let him know that now you both have a copy. Mutually assured self-destruction. Isn't that what they called it back in the cold war?

How bout if you hand cuffed him to the bed then brought the camera out for your own little session. Didn't some guy do that to Joe Francis (Girls Gone Wild producer)? Broke into his house and then videotaped himself sodomizing Francis.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

Mike188 said:


> Some of you people are jumping to conclusions (he's going to put it on a porn site, call the police, divorce him, arrested for a felony, years in prison). SERIOUSLY? Sounds like we have some man haters up in here.
> 
> I try to photograph or record my wife all the time (in the shower, getting out of the shower, naked in bed, etc). It pisses her off, but that's what I do .
> 
> ...


You sound like quite the catch Mike. filming your wife even though it pisses her off. weird.

How is it man hating to state it's against the law and wrong to distribute your wives images without permission?


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## KathyGriffinFan (Apr 4, 2011)

Wow, I believe that is soooo wrong and would feel disgusted.

The only thing even close to this that I have heard of is a relative of mine who sent her hubby a sexy pic of herself (no nudity but barely) and he was "so proud of her" that he showed his co-workers. She was disgusted, pissed, and never goes to her husbands work 'cuz she doesn't wanna be seen by the co-workers.
She felt like a piece of meat that was being wagged in front of hungry dogs. Yuck.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Mike188 said:


> Some of you people are jumping to conclusions (he's going to put it on a porn site, call the police, divorce him, arrested for a felony, years in prison). SERIOUSLY? Sounds like we have some man haters up in here.
> 
> I try to photograph or record my wife all the time (in the shower, getting out of the shower, naked in bed, etc). It pisses her off, but that's what I do .
> 
> ...


You keep doing things even though you know it pisses her off? Whats your payoff? It makes you feel good to piss her off? Wow now there is a real man. I hope she wakes up.


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

Syrum and Jamison (and everyone else),

Here is an example of how people can jump to conclusions if they don't have all the facts and . My wife steps out of the shower. I jump out from behind the corner with my iPhone and snap a pic. She "gets mad" and chases me for the phone. We play around a little laughing and then I delete it. We have fun with it.

And then you post something like, " It makes you feel good to piss her off? Wow now there is a real man. I hope she wakes up." or "You sound like quite the catch Mike. filming your wife even though it pisses her off. weird.". 

"Wow now there's a real man". Seriously? Do you think maybe you over-reacted a little? Some of you people are knee-jerk reactionaries. Maybe you should ask a few questions and gather some more info before you spout off.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Mike188 said:


> Some of you people are knee-jerk reactionaries. Maybe you should ask a few questions and gather some more info before you spout off.


I'll put it more concisely ...

Cease the personal attacks and baiting.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Maybe, just maybe, you worded your response the way you did so people could only jump to the conclusion they did.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Mike188 said:


> Syrum and Jamison (and everyone else),
> 
> Here is an example of how people can jump to conclusions if they don't have all the facts and . My wife steps out of the shower. I jump out from behind the corner with my iPhone and snap a pic. She "gets mad" and chases me for the phone. We play around a little laughing and then I delete it. We have fun with it.
> 
> ...


I think most people thought your comment was relevant to the OP's post. 

Why post a situation that is totally different than what is being discussed?

There is quite a difference between you playfully taking a picture that your wife is aware of that allows you guys to 'goof around with each other', than this guy secretly taking videos of them having sex.


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## Jamison (Feb 10, 2011)

Mike188 said:


> Syrum and Jamison (and everyone else),
> 
> Here is an example of how people can jump to conclusions if they don't have all the facts and . My wife steps out of the shower. I jump out from behind the corner with my iPhone and snap a pic. She "gets mad" and chases me for the phone. We play around a little laughing and then I delete it. We have fun with it.
> 
> ...


No I don't think I over reacted. You did say you did it to piss her off.

Anyway....to the OP, bottom line he did something without your knowledge, he did it for himself which is selfish IMO.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Mike188 said:


> Syrum and Jamison (and everyone else),
> 
> Here is an example of how people can jump to conclusions if they don't have all the facts and . My wife steps out of the shower. I jump out from behind the corner with my iPhone and snap a pic. She "gets mad" and chases me for the phone. We play around a little laughing and then I delete it. We have fun with it.
> 
> ...


I think you don't understand the issues - it a problem for women not men to have pic of their bodies floating around. There is no shame attached to men who post or pass around to friends unauthorized pic or vids of ex gf and wives, there should be but there is such a rush to heap criticism on the woman in the vid that the illegal unethical behavior of the poster is never entertained. 

You are playing a foolish game by taking pics of your wife when she does not want you to do so. I think it is unconscionable. 

You may feel uncomfortable with the strong feed back but the reasons are clear to most men who honor their wife's right to refuse to have a pic of her body taken. 

Most men are empathetic enough to know that if it were to get into the wrong hands that would hurt his wife. Rather than risk that, he foregoes the small titillation of a naked pic to protect her. Do you get it now?

If you continue to sneak around and do as you please against her wishes, you may eventually be excluded from any interaction with her in an unclothed state because you can not be trusted. 

The biggest hurdle for women to be sexually free and engaged is trust, any violation is a sure way to make her close down and exclude you as too selfish with your own pleasure at her expense. 

I think you are being paid a favor - your wife should lock the door to the bathroom and sleep in a looked room since she can't trust you to honor her wishes. If you don't want to hear then keep doing what you are doing and good luck.


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## HelloooNurse (Apr 12, 2010)

Yeah this is pretty disgusting, like everyone else has said. Get rid of him - he obviously has no morals whatsoever.


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