# Husbands lifelong porn addiction is taking its toll on me. ..



## BeautifulDisaster2020

My husband & I have been together for 11 yrs/married for 6. We have had a pretty great relationship, hes always treated me like a queen, and we have a pretty darn good sex life lol. But its definitely had its bumps in the road... Trouble is, he's been addicted to porn/masturbating his whole life... He's gotten better, he doesn't look at porn as much as he used to. As far as masturbation, well I don't really know for sure, just what he tells me, & that's that he doesn't do it everyday anymore... But as far as the porn, whenever we have our kid free weekends, just us, we like to (don't judge pls) do some recreational party favors lol and kick back or do whatever. Well that's when he likes to look at it the most. And I usually tell him its ok, for just a little bit. Next thing you know, its been hours, and I want to snatch his phone & smash it. Ive only always said its ok to make him happy, so he's not "bored" and I don't feel obligated to entertain him lol. 
But he also has the habit of being a hoarder... He'll save the pics/gifs he looks at. I check his phone sometimes, he'll have a couple hundred saved... Makes me sick. A few years ago , he had taken off his jeans to change, and while he stepped into bathroom, something was drawing me to that little pocket on his jeans. And what do I find... A micro SD card. When I got the time to look, it had at least 1,000 videos & pictures... 
We've fought/argued so many times, and he'd use my addictions (had an opioid addiction, doing great now!) against me, said he didn't like it, but I wouldn't quit. Tried convincing him it wasn't near the same...the pills didn't make him feel like less of a husband! 
We've argued so many times over the porn, but I'm just to the point where Idk what to do. Its going to he a battle to get him to quit, since its been a part of his life for so long.... But I can't see myself dealing with this, the way it makes me feel, for the rest of my life. But I love this man like no other! 
One big thing that I've realized is, when it comes to sex, I don't think he's capable of maintaining slow love making... Yea, we have wild sex, its fun & I love it. But there are days where I just want that slow, sweet stuff. But 1-2 min in, and he's already speeding things up, goin faster. If he does slow down, his member goes back to sleep.... (I've read that's an affect of porn) 
Im just so lost! I can't take this anymore. Even with the fact that he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman & I know he loves me, loves every part of my body... I just want to be the only one that turns him on. He doesn't understand what's so wrong with his addiction, "he's not cheating"....


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## BeautifulDisaster2020

I should also throw in there that he's a (never admitted that he is tho, but its obvious) sex addict..


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## temet nostre

You must explain to him how you feel about his addiction and why this is a problem for you.

Movies on this channel seem helpful.







I found a great website that can help, you can download a free e-book quite right. http://addictedtointernetporn.com/


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## Prodigal

BeautifulDisaster2020 said:


> He doesn't understand what's so wrong with his addiction, "he's not cheating"....


So he minimizes his porn addiction and also minimizes your concern about it.

Doesn't sound like he wants to give it up. Same with any addict and their addiction. Until they see for themselves that it's unhealthy, they won't stop.

Does he hoard anything other than porn?


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## Marduk

I’m a bit confused. 

You have a great relationship and it doesn’t seem that he’s neglecting you sexually or emotionally. 

What is it that is bothering you so much with his porn habit? How does it impact you? Is it the lack of slow and sweet sex? The amount that he views it? That he hides it from you? That he saves it?

Your statement that you want to be the only one that turns him on is what is particularly concerning to me here - because for many people, that will never be the case.


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## Tilted 1

BeautifulDisaster2020 said:


> My husband & I have been together for 11 yrs/married for 6. We have had a pretty great relationship, hes always treated me like a queen, and we have a pretty darn good sex life lol. But its definitely had its bumps in the road... Trouble is, he's been addicted to porn/masturbating his whole life... He's gotten better, he doesn't look at porn as much as he used to. As far as masturbation, well I don't really know for sure, just what he tells me, & that's that he doesn't do it everyday anymore... But as far as the porn, whenever we have our kid free weekends, just us, we like to (don't judge pls) do some recreational party favors lol and kick back or do whatever. Well that's when he likes to look at it the most. And I usually tell him its ok, for just a little bit. Next thing you know, its been hours, and I want to snatch his phone & smash it. Ive only always said its ok to make him happy, so he's not "bored" and I don't feel obligated to entertain him lol.
> But he also has the habit of being a hoarder... He'll save the pics/gifs he looks at. I check his phone sometimes, he'll have a couple hundred saved... Makes me sick. A few years ago , he had taken off his jeans to change, and while he stepped into bathroom, something was drawing me to that little pocket on his jeans. And what do I find... A micro SD card. When I got the time to look, it had at least 1,000 videos & pictures...
> We've fought/argued so many times, and he'd use my addictions (had an opioid addiction, doing great now!) against me, said he didn't like it, but I wouldn't quit. Tried convincing him it wasn't near the same...the pills didn't make him feel like less of a husband!
> We've argued so many times over the porn, but I'm just to the point where Idk what to do. Its going to he a battle to get him to quit, since its been a part of his life for so long.... But I can't see myself dealing with this, the way it makes me feel, for the rest of my life. But I love this man like no other!
> One big thing that I've realized is, when it comes to sex, I don't think he's capable of maintaining slow love making... Yea, we have wild sex, its fun & I love it. But there are days where I just want that slow, sweet stuff. But 1-2 min in, and he's already speeding things up, goin faster. If he does slow down, his member goes back to sleep.... (I've read that's an affect of porn)
> Im just so lost! I can't take this anymore. Even with the fact that he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman & I know he loves me, loves every part of my body... I just want to be the only one that turns him on. He doesn't understand what's so wrong with his addiction, "he's not cheating"....


I see your point of view, it compounding because you don't use porn to get you going. So it's because you can refrain from that being your starter you expect this same result from your lover. Is there something wrong with this? No l don't think so and I would want my spouse to desire me without looking at porn. Or magazine of nudes. So what effort is your H willing to do? To keep you in sync with him. Have you told him you will be with him each step of the way. 

Have you tried alternative methods to slow him down, other than PIV. Maybe lotion rub downs to slowly allow him to lose himself and enjoy the moment. You say he fills you in every other way. Then you have a good base and also have you thought of the little blue pill for him when you want him to go slower if he's got the desire it should work for him. 

I see how you respond to these questions to see if l have more to offer you in your quest.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Marduk said:


> I’m a bit confused.
> 
> *You have a great relationship and it doesn’t seem that he’s neglecting you sexually or emotionally.
> *
> What is it that is bothering you so much with his porn habit? How does it impact you? Is it the lack of slow and sweet sex? The amount that he views it? That he hides it from you? That he saves it?
> 
> Your statement that you want to be the only one that turns him on is what is particularly concerning to me here - because for many people, that will never be the case.


Perhaps I'm not condoning the degree of it but I believe I've found a post by @Marduk that I do agree with his first sentence and his concept of good line of questions.

Food for thought.


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## StillSearching

The problem is, him watching porn is devaluing him in her eyes. He going from a 9 to a 6....
It's a bit like an eating disorder that makes him fat.
Their sex is not what it could be.
Her desire for him is diminished and he's losing grip on what intimacy truly is and it's benefits. 

He needs something better to do....he needs to use up his time doing something better.
Get him out of the house. He won't be jacking at the zoo.


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## uhtred

OP, I guess a few questions:

Is is using porn *instead* of paying attention to you (sexual or other), or only using it when you are busy with something else. If the first, the I believe its clearly a problem if the second, then there is some question.

Does *he* think he as an addiction? Some people who are addicted are very aware that they are, but are unable to figure out how to stop. BTW - by their nature "addictions" can be extremely difficult to avoid. If you have never been addicted to something it can be difficult to imagine what it is like to know that you don't want to do something, but to be unable to stop yourself.

His sexual behavior might be a result of lots of porn. I think the key is not when he gets an erection - that is not completely under control, but his unwillingness to engage in slow lovemaking (of some sort that doesn't require an erect penis). Does he know that this is important to you?

I do think you have a good reason for concern, but that its worth being clear with yourself what specifically the issues are so that they can be addressed.


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## *Deidre*

I wonder why we don't consider porn addiction as cheating? In a way, it is, from the betrayed spouse's viewpoint. If it's a chronic solo habit on the part of the porn addict, it leaves the other spouse feeling inferior, and unwanted. Just like emotional and physical affairs, if we're honest.

I had something else posted, but deleted it in favor of this. If my husband were addicted to porn, or stopping at strip clubs, and what not, I'd feel like where did I go wrong? How did I marry such a sleazy guy? I find the behavior to be low class, and part of me wonders if that would bother me more than thinking he was interested in other women, besides me.

I have a friend whose husband ''stops'' at strip clubs on the way home from work, sometimes. I don't say anything to her, but I can tell it bothers her. It would bother me to be married to a classless guy, personally and a guy who sits in hiding from me, masturbating to porn all day...yuck.

At some point OP, you have to reflect on why you have accepted this 'lifelong' habit? He may never change, but you can change your situation, for yourself.


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## Diana7

*Deidre* said:


> I wonder why we don't consider porn addiction as cheating? In a way, it is, from the betrayed spouse's viewpoint. If it's a chronic solo habit on the part of the porn addict, it leaves the other spouse feeling inferior, and unwanted. Just like emotional and physical affairs, if we're honest.
> 
> I had something else posted, but deleted it in favor of this. If my husband were addicted to porn, or stopping at strip clubs, and what not, I'd feel like where did I go wrong? How did I marry such a sleazy guy? I find the behavior to be low class, and part of me wonders if that would bother me more than thinking he was interested in other women, besides me.
> 
> I have a friend whose husband ''stops'' at strip clubs on the way home from work, sometimes. I don't say anything to her, but I can tell it bothers her. It would bother me to be married to a classless guy, personally and a guy who sits in hiding from me, masturbating to porn all day...yuck.
> 
> At some point OP, you have to reflect on why you have accepted this 'lifelong' habit? He may never change, but you can change your situation, for yourself.


I agree, but she did marry him knowing what he was like. There is no way that I would put up with this, but then I wouldn't marry a man who thought it was ok to act this way. 

OP, a lady I knew gave her husband an ultimatum, the marriage or the porn, guess what he stopped. Not saying that your husband will, but its never going to stop until you stop enabling it.


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## *Deidre*

Diana7 said:


> I agree, but she did marry him knowing what he was like. There is no way that I would put up with this, but then I wouldn't marry a man who thought it was ok to act this way.
> 
> OP, a lady I knew gave her husband an ultimatum, the marriage or the porn, guess what he stopped. Not saying that your husband will, but its never going to stop until you stop enabling it.


Yea, but 22 years? lol I have a feeling she thought he'd phase out of it, eventually. I think porn addiction is a real thing, but it has become an excuse of sorts for men to not try to break free from it. Like all addictions, he will have to learn new habits and new ways of channeling his energy, and needs for escape into cyber sex. 

I know people who have given ultimatums, and I'm not a fan of them. It's like cheating spouses who are caught and only return to ''reconcile'' with their betrayed spouses, because they are too afraid of being kicked out of their lifestyle. An ultimatum feels like that to me - it's like the WS is doing the betrayed spouse a favor by 'choosing' them. Thaaaaanks. 

But, you can make your feelings strongly known OP, and see if your husband changes his behavior. Not in a mean way, of course, but he has to realize that you're very unhappy and that it's not the marriage you envisioned having. Good luck with this situation.


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## uhtred

Sometimes a situation comes down to deciding that you can't be happy with things the way that they are, and that things are unlikely to change. He knows you are unhappy about his porn use. Whether he can't or won't stop really doesn't matter that much, it sounds like this will continue. You probably cannot convince him that what he is doing is "wrong" and he can't convince you that it is "ok".


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## sokillme

*Deidre* said:


> I wonder why we don't consider porn addiction as cheating? In a way, it is, from the betrayed spouse's viewpoint. If it's a chronic solo habit on the part of the porn addict, it leaves the other spouse feeling inferior, and unwanted.


You could say the same thing about a hobby or a job too but you wouldn't call it cheating. I personally don't see looking at porn as cheating because it's still a singular activity that you do alone (at least in this context). Also not talking about interactive cam girls. There are also lots of marriages where the partners use it together. Women get addicted too by the way.

Strip clubs are also different because there is a human interaction. Most people look at porn alone. 

Now that is not to discount the problems it can cause in a marriage but it's not cheating at least in my book.

What I don't get it she says there sex life is good and they have a good marriage, so is it just the amount of time he spends doing it? I mean if that is the case I guess you could post the same thing about Online Gaming or Facebook. All of those things if done too much can cause problems.


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## Diana7

*Deidre* said:


> Yea, but 22 years? lol I have a feeling she thought he'd phase out of it, eventually. I think porn addiction is a real thing, but it has become an excuse of sorts for men to not try to break free from it. Like all addictions, he will have to learn new habits and new ways of channeling his energy, and needs for escape into cyber sex.
> 
> I know people who have given ultimatums, and I'm not a fan of them. It's like cheating spouses who are caught and only return to ''reconcile'' with their betrayed spouses, because they are too afraid of being kicked out of their lifestyle. An ultimatum feels like that to me - it's like the WS is doing the betrayed spouse a favor by 'choosing' them. Thaaaaanks.
> 
> But, you can make your feelings strongly known OP, and see if your husband changes his behavior. Not in a mean way, of course, but he has to realize that you're very unhappy and that it's not the marriage you envisioned having. Good luck with this situation.


In the ladies case I mentioned it was a last resort. She has tried for years to deal with it, and she was ready to leave. He knew she was serious and he stopped which just goes to show that even if its an addiction its perfectly possible to stop if you want to enough.


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## Diana7

sokillme said:


> You could say the same thing about a hobby or a job too but you wouldn't call it cheating. I personally don't see looking at porn as cheating because it's still a singular activity that you do alone (at least in this context). Also not talking about interactive cam girls. There are also lots of marriages where the partners use it together. Women get addicted too by the way.
> 
> Strip clubs are also different because there is a human interaction. Most people look at porn alone.
> 
> Now that is not to discount the problems it can cause in a marriage but it's not cheating at least in my book.
> 
> What I don't get it she says there sex life is good and they have a good marriage, so is it just the amount of time he spends doing it? I mean if that is the case I guess you could post the same thing about Online Gaming or Facebook. All of those things if done too much can cause problems.


Porn use is hardly the same as a job or hobby. Its lusting after real women(who are all someone's daughter or granddaughter or sister) and masturbating to what you see. Yes it is cheating, mentally at least.


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## Blondilocks

Diana7 said:


> Porn use is hardly the same as a job or hobby. Its lusting after real women*(who are all someone's daughter or granddaughter or sister)* and masturbating to what you see. Yes it is cheating, mentally at least.


I don't think this fact will have much effect on some men. As we've seen on this forum, some men think all women - young, old, friend or family member are fair game when it comes to getting their rocks off. It's as if they have the ability to morph into Vulcans and are susceptible to the Vulcan condition of Pon Farr. Only, instead of the seven-year itch, it is whenever they choose.


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## *Deidre*

sokillme said:


> You could say the same thing about a hobby or a job too but you wouldn't call it cheating. I personally don't see looking at porn as cheating because it's still a singular activity that you do alone (at least in this context). Also not talking about interactive cam girls. There are also lots of marriages where the partners use it together. Women get addicted too by the way.
> 
> Strip clubs are also different because there is a human interaction. Most people look at porn alone.
> 
> Now that is not to discount the problems it can cause in a marriage but it's not cheating at least in my book.
> 
> What I don't get it she says there sex life is good and they have a good marriage, so is it just the amount of time he spends doing it? I mean if that is the case I guess you could post the same thing about Online Gaming or Facebook. All of those things if done too much can cause problems.


I understand your point, but if we're being honest, porn addiction isn't a ''hobby'' like Facebook and online gaming. Both of the latter, you could share with coworkers or friends. I don't see anything wrong with moderate porn viewing, if it's something understood by both spouses. But, if it is a hidden secret, a man disappearing into another room after his wife goes to bed, or he's sneaking it at work more often than not, and feels lost without it, if he couldn't go a week without it, that's an addiction, and I don't really feel that enabling addictions by labeling it something like a 'hobby' is helpful. That's just me.

And yea, I realize women can become addicted to, and my point goes for wives, as well. If you're sneaking off to do things behind your spouse's back, that's not healthy. That's not a hobby. That's a secret, that's something you know is wrong, but you do it anyway. You know it would hurt your marriage, but you do it anyway. That's the way of the world, unfortunately...our culture celebrates ''you do you,'' even if it hurts those around you.


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## dadstartingover

StillSearching said:


> The problem is, him watching porn is devaluing him in her eyes. He going from a 9 to a 6....
> It's a bit like an eating disorder that makes him fat.
> Their sex is not what it could be.
> Her desire for him is diminished and he's losing grip on what intimacy truly is and it's benefits.
> 
> He needs something better to do....he needs to use up his time doing something better.
> Get him out of the house. He won't be jacking at the zoo.


Exactly. Why does she care? Because that means her husband is one of THOSE guys. Nobody wants to be married to some guy who hoards images and videos of women on an SD card like some socially awkward nerd who has zero ability to get his needs met in the real world.

https://dadstartingover.com/porn/


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## Diana7

Blondilocks said:


> I don't think this fact will have much effect on some men. As we've seen on this forum, some men think all women - young, old, friend or family member are fair game when it comes to getting their rocks off. It's as if they have the ability to morph into Vulcans and are susceptible to the Vulcan condition of Pon Farr. Only, instead of the seven-year itch, it is whenever they choose.


Yes, as long as its not their precious daughter or granddaughter who men are lusting over eh?:frown2:


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## sokillme

Diana7 said:


> Yes, as long as its not their precious daughter or granddaughter who men are lusting over eh?:frown2:


Diana you realize that every straight guy has lusted over someones precious daughter right? It's only weird if you choose to put it in a context like you are forcing here.


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## sokillme

*Deidre* said:


> I understand your point, but if we're being honest, porn addiction isn't a ''hobby'' like Facebook and online gaming. Both of the latter, you could share with coworkers or friends. I don't see anything wrong with moderate porn viewing, if it's something understood by both spouses. But, if it is a hidden secret, a man disappearing into another room after his wife goes to bed, or he's sneaking it at work more often than not, and feels lost without it, if he couldn't go a week without it, that's an addiction, and I don't really feel that enabling addictions by labeling it something like a 'hobby' is helpful. That's just me.
> 
> And yea, I realize women can become addicted to, and my point goes for wives, as well. If you're sneaking off to do things behind your spouse's back, that's not healthy. That's not a hobby. That's a secret, that's something you know is wrong, but you do it anyway. You know it would hurt your marriage, but you do it anyway. That's the way of the world, unfortunately...our culture celebrates ''you do you,'' even if it hurts those around you.


Well Facebook could work exactly the same way. Lets say you are oversharing with your girlfriend about your husband, that's not cheating but it's still problematic. Gaming, Gambling could be other examples of things done in secret that are not cheating but have the potential to be a large betrayal in the marriage. 

I am not saying that it's OK or not a potentially a huge problem, it's just in my opinion it's not cheating.


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## *Deidre*

sokillme said:


> Well Facebook could work exactly the same way. Lets say you are oversharing with your girlfriend about your husband, that's not cheating but it's still problematic. Gaming, Gambling could be other examples of things done in secret that are not cheating but have the potential to be a large betrayal in the marriage.
> 
> I am not saying that it's OK or not a potentially a huge problem, it's just in my opinion it's not cheating.


A betrayal. I like that wording. It wouldn't fit the cheating category quite like an emotional or physical affair, but things start somewhere. Images of others getting planted in one's mind, things your spouse won't do in bed but the porn starts to plant a seed that others will, etc. It is a behavior, if it's a long term porn habit, that can lead to someone becoming dissatisfied with real intimacy. (I've read stories on here that show a decline in quality sex and intimacy in a marriage, when porn addiction takes over) But I agree that a betrayal may be a better word for it. And by betrayal, I mean that one of the spouses is in the dark about the porn viewing and it's done in secret. The marriage is adversely being affected, etc That would be a betrayal. 

But betrayals do come in many forms. If my husband were more into porn than me, I wouldn't want to be with him. It would be a waste of my energy, in my opinion, but everyone has to decide what they will tolerate in their marriages. I don't really want to just tolerate my marriage, I want both my husband and I to be happy together, truly enjoying the moments together. I think people settle far too often in marriages, and while there will be ups and downs, accepting betraying behaviors is something to not settle on.


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## Bubblehead

To some, porn is a means to an end. Men are into physical more than emotion, correct. Porn has its place, but it shouldnt be to escape the wifes need with the man too.
One could look at Facebook and say its cheating because so many woman have men friends they message with on facebook. Thats pure emotion, as people are talking to you and interacting without your spouse.. Its a gateway to EAs..


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## Diana7

sokillme said:


> Diana you realize that every straight guy has lusted over someones precious daughter right? It's only weird if you choose to put it in a context like you are forcing here.


There are still some men who are well aware that all women are someone's daughter/wife/granddaughter/sister and do what they can not to see them in that way. It takes self control and a decision not to do it. 
As my husband once put it, they are not mine to look at. Its about self control and putting all your sexual energies into your spouse. Bouncing the eyes, not watching porn or films/programmes with sex in them.


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## Diana7

Bubblehead said:


> To some, porn is a means to an end. Men are into physical more than emotion, correct. Porn has its place, but it shouldnt be to escape the wifes need with the man too.
> One could look at Facebook and say its cheating because so many woman have men friends they message with on facebook. Thats pure emotion, as people are talking to you and interacting without your spouse.. Its a gateway to EAs..


To be fair Bubblehead, I do think that many men try and deflect how damaging porn is by claiming that this or that is also cheating. Facebook isnt cheating in anyway, unless you go there to cheat. Hobbies the same. Porn is lusting after other women or men than your spouse. Seeing them naked, seeing them do all sorts of sexual acts. Bringing others into the intimacy that should be just for the two of you. Filling you mind with images of men/women who you aren't married to. Thinking of those images when you have sex with your spouse.


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## Bubblehead

Diana7 said:


> To be fair Bubblehead, I do think that many men try and deflect how damaging porn is by claiming that this or that is also cheating. Facebook isnt cheating in anyway, unless you go there to cheat. Hobbies the same. Porn is lusting after other women or men than your spouse. Seeing them naked, seeing them do all sorts of sexual acts. Bringing others into the intimacy that should be just for the two of you. Filling you mind with images of men/women who you aren't married to. Thinking of those images when you have sex with your spouse.


I understand. Facebook is a way to meet people to and do EAs.. I have another place where people try to reach out and "connect", Linkedn. Very surprising..
My point with Facebook, is people reach out, and try to befriend you and try to get to know you. Many have, and many hide it.. Paradox of choices the internet is.


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## Diana7

Bubblehead said:


> I understand. Facebook is a way to meet people to and do EAs.. I have another place where people try to reach out and "connect", Linkedn. Very surprising..
> My point with Facebook, is people reach out, and try to befriend you and try to get to know you. Many have, and many hide it.. Paradox of choices the internet is.


Yes facebook can be used for this, probably why I only have close friends and family on mine. I will never understand why some have many hundreds of so called 'friends' on it when they haven't even met many of them. :surprise:


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## Bubblehead

Diana7 said:


> Yes facebook can be used for this, probably why I only have close friends and family on mine. I will never understand why some have many hundreds of so called 'friends' on it when they haven't even met many of them. :surprise:


I got rid of facebook quite some time ago. Too many predators, too much drama, too many people acting as if their life was perfect too, and low self esteem peeps on there.
Some people need facebook for business too, and such, I get that. But, we digress..


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## Diana7

Bubblehead said:


> I got rid of facebook quite some time ago. Too many predators, too much drama, too many people acting as if their life was perfect too, and low self esteem peeps on there.
> Some people need facebook for business too, and such, I get that. But, we digress..


Yes that's why I am very selective who I have on there. My husband has never had a facebook account and really isn't into this social media stuff.


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## Tobeknown

My ex was a sex addict/ hard core (possibly illegal) porn addict.

His sex addiction counselor finally sat me down and said "you need to leave him... Not tomorrow, today!" My guess is that my exH confessed to something pretty bad. So after 14 years of a loveless marriage (because he wasn't into healthy intimacy with me) I finally let him go. 

Months later I realized that I'd been living for years with the hope that he'd change but he never did. And his addiction destroyed our marriage. And I now can't imagine how I endured that pain for so so long. I guess it's because I wanted my family to stay together. 

Not everyone likes porn. I actually don't, it's not my thing either. Don't feel that you have to tolerate it because you don't. 
You have to decide what you can and can't live with and what you truly want from a partner. Being free from an unhappy marriage isn't the worst thing that can happen. Being totally unfulfilled and alone while married is worse IMO. 

I'm sorry you're hurting. I've been there and it was painful. Sending hugs to you.


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## Tobeknown

BTW as with any addiction I'll throw in some al Anon advice. You can't cure it. You can't control it. You didn't cause it. 

You are powerless to make anyone quit anything. It's got to be something he truly feels he needs to do for himself and for your relationship. Begging, pleading, compromising your own values, offering better more "exciting" sex doesn't work. Ever. 😞


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