# ah...3 months now



## baissier (Jun 21, 2009)

It's been 3 months since she asked me to move out. I managed to keep the "no contact" now. In fact, haven't seen her for 3 months...I also try to avoid seeing her. Couple of time, I actually send her messages to tell her I am still in the house so she wouldn't come back earlier and run into me. I found myself really afraid of seeing her.

She told me she needs time by herself and told me she doesn't know what she wants. I still have no idea why my marriage is falling apart. Neither of us did anything wrong. All of the sudden after 10 years, she just want to be alone and said to figure things out. Don't know why.

I am numbing with the emptiness. Just forcing myself to go out party, drinks, meeting new people. Don't really like any of that but still keep forcing me to go. At 34, being with kids around 20's years old aren't really fun. Feeling a bit old. But people around my ages have family and won't have time to come out at night and for some reason, lso not having that much fun going with people around my age. I guess myself is really the problem. may be try volunteering next

the other day, finally decided 2 years. that's the time I will spend living in this limbo. two years should give us enough time to pay off the mortgage. I thought about giving the house to her so she can take care of herself...and i can start over my life again without her. don't even know if that makes any sense

reading the forum helps the first month but now it seems I can't take it anymore reading other stories..do any of you go through the same phase.

ah..
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

I get pretty sad when I read a lot of the stories on here. Then again, it is comforting to know that others are suffering some similar struggles and pain.


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## mikey (Jul 7, 2009)

Baissier,

2 yrs are too much if you don't really know what the issues are and how to work on them. However, if you come to know what the issues are and both parties think they will take that much time to get resolved, then thats ok. I would say that you have to clear your goals otw you will keep wondering all the time.


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## Dark Angel (Jun 17, 2009)

Sorry to hear that things havent been resolved at all.

You will get over her one day. End of story. Dont put a timeline on it. You may just wake up one day and realize your time has come. Its just tough right now cause nothing has been resolved.

Dont let it consume you. Keep on with your life. Find things you like to do or things that you use to do before you were married that you gave up. You may be surprised that you really regret some of the pieces of yourself that you have left behind.

Pick up those pieces and see where life takes you. The drinking and partying will only get you so far before you will fall.

Take care.


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## polkadot (Aug 26, 2009)

Hi
I used to post on another forum and it has been my experience this last few months,, that when a W leaves saying they nedd space or time alone to find themselves, it is usually indicative of an emotional affair. 

I'm not suggesting that this is the case here, but have you dug around? 

Also, I'm new to this site, does anyone on here talk about divorce busting and the 180 rules? Many on the other site I used to post on recommend them as tools for either moving on or resolving your marriage. 

I am a similar age as you, and I know how you feel about going out! I am to start garduate school next week and I am so hoping there will be at least some other students my age. It's hard, but we will get there, it's just going to take some time.


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## Feelingalone (Apr 22, 2009)

What are the 180 rules?


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## baissier (Jun 21, 2009)

yes. read the divorce busting. it's really useful only before you are separated. 

today i left the house late...on my way out, i passed her car. she was on her way home. i only realized it after i passed and think that was her. I really really don't want to see her. I realized I have blocked her from my mind. why do i have to run into her. seeing her face just make me feel how fragile I am...hate, sad, hopeless

it would be easier if we don't have a dog. i would just left and never go back to the house. i should be glad i guess...almost everyone on here have kids to deal with.

don't think it is an affair...but doesn't really matter. the end result is the same. she doesn't want to talk and now i don't even want to talk.


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