# someone help? please?



## missermuchly (Apr 20, 2011)

Hi everyone,

My situation is as follows.

9 years ago I met, and married within 8 months the most perfect, beautiful girl in the world. Early on in the marriage, she found out something about me I'd kept from her, and we got over it.

March 31st driving home from her parents, she says "I don't love you anymore". I become shocked, and sit in the garden, as she makes up the spare room, she refuses to give a reason, won't go to counselling, marriage guidance, just "I don't love you".

Next day, she admits the catalyst was a Facebook message she's sent to an ex, and she didn't feel bad about it, she then deleted him.

Next day, she changes her Facebook status to "it's complicated" and goes shopping, all this time I've been pretty much catatonic on the sofa. She hasn't logged out, and she's left a message on screen asking for advice on moving to Spain to be with her bf from 18 years ago. She is disabled having lost a leg with type one diabetes about 6 months back, and is likely to lose the other.

I call her, and ask her to come home, when she gets there she admits to having been in contact with him for about 2 months, and the whole bf thing was a fantasy, but she still doesn't love me.

I suffer what's known as an "Acceptance Disorder" at that point, basically a form of post-traumatic stress disorder, and do some stupid things. I take some of her drugs, burn myself on the arm with a cigarette, and make her watch. Sick, I know, but not me.

I ended up in a psych ward, kicked out from home, now in a flat sharing, all in 2 weeks. The new boyfriend has moved from Spain to be with her, and I've had a text saying "me and <name> are now living together, and he's here for good".

I want her back so badly, I've gone through the whole stages of grief, and am dealing with my depression; I'm just desperate for some input here. What can I do?????


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## Momof2inMT (Apr 9, 2011)

I wish I had something for you, but to me it sounds like she has moved on. I think it would do you a lot of good to seek independent counseling for yourself before too long. The end of a significant relationship is tough and heartbreaking, and we are all here because of it. It WILL get better as time passes, but you have to be patient with yourself.


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## missermuchly (Apr 20, 2011)

Momof2inMT said:


> I wish I had something for you, but to me it sounds like she has moved on. I think it would do you a lot of good to seek independent counseling for yourself before too long. The end of a significant relationship is tough and heartbreaking, and we are all here because of it. It WILL get better as time passes, but you have to be patient with yourself.


How can she move on to a boyfriend, she's not even seen in 18 years!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What was it that she found out about you that you kept from her? Ur post didn't say. As for her...if she has already moved him in u need to consider it done and move on as hard as that is. She was prob talking to him a lot longer than you. Know if he moved in so fast.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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