# Women, Oral and Orgasms



## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Ok - I have gotten the impression over the years that not all women can have an orgasm via intercourse / penetration without some clitoral stimulation. Makes sense to me.

But - can all women have orgasms through oral? For those who don't or can't, is it possibly a mental block - not being relaxed enough? Or perhaps poor technique by their partner?


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Depends.

For me, it's "STAY ON THE NUB" as much as possible. lol.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

that_girl said:


> Depends.
> 
> For me, it's "STAY ON THE NUB" as much as possible. lol.


So you can have an O - but the technique needs to be good...???


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## cone (Aug 6, 2008)

As that_girl said, depends....

"staying on the nub" doesnt really work well for my wife. I have to change things up, pay attention to everything down there.... then "stay on it" ONLY when she is completely ready....


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> So you can have an O - but the technique needs to be good...???


For me, just stay on the nub. lol I can orgasm relatively easy. I orgasm when giving bjs. I have practiced with giving myself orgasms haha.


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

With my wife she can orgasm very easily through intercourse but oral sex on her is difficult to get her to orgasm with. It's like cone said, I have to keep stimulating different parts of her until she's ready for the nub (and even then when I do everything else right the nub part isn't long).

It's like I have to get her engine warmed up before I hit the accelerator and then she goes from 0 to 60 in nothing flat.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I guess - to me - a woman saying she can't have an orgasm by having her "nub" rubbed(!) is like a guy saying he can't climax from having his penis stimulated.

Yet I know I've seen a poster or two over the years claim that oral doesn't work for them - or it's only good for foreplay.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> I guess - to me - a woman saying she can't have an orgasm by having her "nub" rubbed(!) is like a guy saying he can't climax from having his penis stimulated.
> 
> Yet I know I've seen a poster or two over the years claim that oral doesn't work for them - or it's only good for foreplay.


Time has a way of changing the human response to stimulation.
I've never seen a woman who couldn't orgasm from oral stimulation. However since I was limited to an rare occasional opportunity with only one woman for over twenty years, my experience with others is only recent. Who's to know if their responses may only be fabricated in order to show approval to their stimulator?


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

that_girl said:


> I orgasm when giving bjs.


If you could teach others how to do this, we may be able to achieve world peace!!!

There was a guy not long ago who said he could cum while going down on his wife. Just about everyone accused him of just humping the bed while he was down there!!!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Start using your mouth, by having a conversation. It's necessary, fun, and great foreplay.

There is distinctly, in my experience, NOT a sure-fire method every time with every woman.

To me, being confident in bed means that you presume nothing. You aren't ever going to look like an idiot in asking for feedback ... unless you are doing so every 30 seconds.

Orgasm responses run the gamut in direct correlation to her level of excitement. Had me a partner that needed to be bitten ... hard ... to knock her over the top. She required that kind of stimulation. This is also why some fetishes are quite prevalent. 

And no, I'm not referring to the nubbin.Nibbling yes, biting? Ouch.


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

I've only had ONE orgasm via oral. For me it's absolutely a mental block - has nothing to do with his technique as I orgasm quite easily otherwise.

Not that we've tried all that often though. For years I was lucky to get ANY sex from my husband much less oral. LOL I'm changing this now.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

my wife is very orgasmic, she'll come within 2 minutes of intercourse most times and she can have multiple O's throughout intercourse without stopping

she loves oral but it usually takes 10 minutes of oral for her to come, but after that O she is too sensitive to receive more oral

using my finger for her g-spot she can have close to a 10 minute O


so....IOW

all women are different and the ways you stimulate them can all be different


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Deejo said:


> Start using your mouth, by having a conversation. It's necessary, fun, and great foreplay.
> 
> There is distinctly, in my experience, NOT a sure-fire method every time with every woman.
> 
> ...


Twilight fetish???


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

nice777guy said:


> Twilight fetish???


Dude, that's the shallow end, rated G version of the fetish pool.


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## reset button (Mar 14, 2012)

I can do both but...

It is stronger and better to me with penetration in the right position.

Missionary or cowgirl, gets stimulation to clit and G at same time. G is on front of vag and my hubby has one that point up (not down or sideways lol) so he hits the spot in face to face positions

Sorry if graphic no other way to say it.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Deejo said:


> Dude, that's the shallow end, rated G version of the fetish pool.


After 17 years of marriage, leaving the lights on during sex sounds like Kink to me!!!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

reset button said:


> I can do both but...
> 
> It is stronger and better to me with penetration in the right position.
> 
> ...


No - not too graphic at all...

The only way I could ever get the G was through manual stimulation.


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

that_girl said:


> For me, just stay on the nub. lol I can orgasm relatively easy. I orgasm when giving bjs. I have practiced with giving myself orgasms haha.


You should be bronzed, and a copy of you placed on every guys mantel!


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Lights on, Bohemian Rhapsody blaring in the background, duct tape, ski masks and riding crops ... and you're making progress.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Deejo said:


> Lights on, Bohemian Rhapsody blaring in the background, duct tape, ski masks and riding crops ... and you're making progress.


Don't forget the chaps!!!


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## Browncoat (Mar 25, 2012)

nice777guy said:


> After 17 years of marriage, leaving the lights on during sex sounds like Kink to me!!!


WHOAH, settle down there don't get too risque.


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## River1977 (Oct 25, 2010)

I orgasm both ways and don't necessarily need clitoral stimulation to orgam during intercourse. My experience is the guy has poor technique - more like he doesn't know what he's doing - if I don't orgasm during oral. Not knowing what he's doing is annoying, and all I wanted them (two different guys at different times) to do was leave me alone. LOL

I have read women state they can't orgasm during oral because it's too intense. I think that means the guy has poor technique, and the woman/women don't know any different from lack of experience themselves. That was my experience themselves. I was young and didn't know how good oral is until I was with a guy who knew how to do it. Before him, the guys just thought it was foreplay, and so did I.

There was once in my life that I didn't orgasm during oral with a guy who definitely knew how. That guy was so good, he could make me gush liters during oral, and that never happened before or since him. I have no idea what the problem was that particular night, but I couldn't cum no matter how hard he tried. He was determined and didn't want to stop when I asked him to. The problem surely was not him but me, and I still (this was many years ago) don't know what my problem was.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

River1977 said:


> I orgasm both ways and don't necessarily need clitoral stimulation to orgam during intercourse. My experience is the guy has poor technique - more like he doesn't know what he's doing - if I don't orgasm during oral. Not knowing what he's doing is annoying, and all I wanted them (two different guys at different times) to do was leave me alone. LOL
> 
> I have read women state they can't orgasm during oral because it's too intense. I think that means the guy has poor technique, and the woman/women don't know any different from lack of experience themselves. That was my experience themselves. I was young and didn't know how good oral is until I was with a guy who knew how to do it. Before him, the guys just thought it was foreplay, and so did I.
> 
> There was once in my life that I didn't orgasm during oral with a guy who definitely knew how. That guy was so good, he could make me gush liters during oral, and that never happened before or since him. I have no idea what the problem was that particular night, but I couldn't cum no matter how hard he tried. He was determined and didn't want to stop when I asked him to. The problem surely was not him but me, and I still (this was many years ago) don't know what my problem was.


Probably any time you really have to "try" - seems like it might be quitting time.

But then - even though you couldn't orgasm - sounds like you had a really good time - right?


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## lovinmyhubby223 (Jan 31, 2012)

“Good technique” would all depend on what the woman likes, what she needs and how she needs it. If by good technique you mean someone who does what it takes to make the O happen for that particular woman then yes with a partner it would all boil down to good technique. 

Relaxation and letting it happen are also key, but you do have to go with the flow. I personally have had times where I wanted it so badly and was concentrating so hard to make it happen that I was driving it away because the longer it was taking the more frustrated I became thus making me tense. We finally just gave up, my hubby apologizing and me telling him it wasn’t his fault. The whole thing left us both feeling bad but it was a learning experience.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

lovinmyhubby223 said:


> “Good technique” would all depend on what the woman likes, what she needs and how she needs it. If by good technique you mean someone who does what it takes to make the O happen for that particular woman then yes with a partner it would all boil down to good technique.
> 
> Relaxation and letting it happen are also key, but you do have to go with the flow. I personally have had times where I wanted it so badly and was concentrating so hard to make it happen that I was driving it away because the longer it was taking the more frustrated I became thus making me tense. We finally just gave up, my hubby apologizing and me telling him it wasn’t his fault. The whole thing left us both feeling bad but it was a learning experience.


When I wrote that, I had "patience" in mind as a big part of "good technique."

And that patience goes both ways - giver and receiver. Right?


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## lovinmyhubby223 (Jan 31, 2012)

nice777guy said:


> When I wrote that, I had "patience" in mind as a big part of "good technique."
> 
> And that patience goes both ways - giver and receiver. Right?


Absolutely!!:iagree:


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

I've never gotten an orgasm through oral before. I don't have any hang ups and I'm relaxed. It takes a lot to get me off period, even when it's just me so I would imagine that the guys have just gotten tired before it's happened and have given up. Maybe poor technique? I don't know. I've just come to accept that orgasm doesn't happen with someone else.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

LadyFrogFlyAway said:


> Septic, forgive me if you've already answered this, because I think you talked about this on another thread, but are you tense when you're receiving?



I'm not tense anymore. I used to be because I was self conscious but I've learned to relax and I really do enjoy it. Just not as much as I possibly could I suppose.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

SepticChange said:


> I'm not tense anymore. I used to be because I was self conscious but I've learned to relax and I really do enjoy it. Just not as much as I possibly could I suppose.


So - could be you are holding yourself back a bit???


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## flnative (Jul 16, 2011)

SepticChange said:


> I've never gotten an orgasm through oral before. I don't have any hang ups and I'm relaxed. It takes a lot to get me off period, even when it's just me so I would imagine that the guys have just gotten tired before it's happened and have given up. Maybe poor technique? I don't know. I've just come to accept that orgasm doesn't happen with someone else.


Don't give up. The wife and I have been together for 26 years. She has never had an O from oral. It has always been very difficult for her to O. The only way she could is with a hitachi magic wand. Heck, that didn't happen til she was 35. Now it's rare that she doesn't O. 

Since about 2 weeks ago she started having Os from oral. Don't know what changed. I have always given her oral, but she has always said she could not O that way. Not enough stimulation. Needless to say we are both happy. 

Like I said, don't give up. We are 42 and this just happened......


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## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

Well.. My ex wife used to orgasm quickly and easily and multiple times. She never liked it during oral though.
My new [ish] GF has only ever had two orgasms in her life. She needs multiple stimulation points and some time. We have stopped keeping score now She likes it. I like it.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> Ok - I have gotten the impression over the years that not all women can have an orgasm via intercourse / penetration without some clitoral stimulation. Makes sense to me.
> 
> But - can all women have orgasms through oral? For those who don't or can't, is it possibly a mental block - not being relaxed enough? Or perhaps poor technique by their partner?


I have a harder time having an orgasm through oral exclusively now that I am in my late 40's than when I was younger, e.g., in my 20's.

I don't know why - speculating that it could be changes I am experiencing due to the hormonal imbalance of perimenopause. My clitoris is less sensitive, I generally have less lubrication than I did before, and so I tend to like firmer stimulation now than what oral gives.

I still really enjoy the oral though, even if it is harder to climax from only that. It's a great way to get started and get the engine humming, even if it isn't the easiest way for me to finish.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> So - could be you are holding yourself back a bit???


No, I think I want it too much that it just doesn't happen. And pressure from him for it to happen also gets in the way. But otherwise I'm not holding back at all.


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## SepticChange (Aug 21, 2011)

flnative said:


> Don't give up. The wife and I have been together for 26 years. She has never had an O from oral. It has always been very difficult for her to O. The only way she could is with a hitachi magic wand. Heck, that didn't happen til she was 35. Now it's rare that she doesn't O.
> 
> Since about 2 weeks ago she started having Os from oral. Don't know what changed. I have always given her oral, but she has always said she could not O that way. Not enough stimulation. Needless to say we are both happy.
> 
> Like I said, don't give up. We are 42 and this just happened......



Better late than never I guess  Poor man's gonna take a huge ego bust if that ends up happening to us. I'm not worried about it anymore. It doesn't happen and I've accepted that. Glad your wife has found the promised land haha.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

So you might be trying too hard.

Wonder if you could just set aside 15 minutes a couple of times a week. When the time's up, O or not, you just move on to other things that you know are effective.

Even if it doesnt work, it still sounds like fun!!!


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## virginswife (Apr 23, 2012)

If she's not coming via oral, it's not necessarily about technique.
It could just be that oral sex is too light for her to really get off.
Perhaps a HJ is more her speed - that touch tends to be a little more firm and easier to direct.
"Technique" is kind of a misnomer here anyway. I mean, men aren't born knowing how to do this. All they can really do is follow the lead - whatever their partner is telling them. It's pretty much a woman's responsibility to tell him what pleasures her.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

nice777guy said:


> Ok - I have gotten the impression over the years that not all women can have an orgasm via intercourse / penetration without some clitoral stimulation. Makes sense to me.
> 
> But - can all women have orgasms through oral? For those who don't or can't, is it possibly a mental block - not being relaxed enough? Or perhaps poor technique by their partner?


Here is how it is/was for me.... I DEFINITELY had a pathetic mental block in the past. I would push his head away, all I could think about was... "ewww how can he stand that!", I was embarrassed - plus it seemed ULTRA sensitive --but we were so sex starved when we got around to sex back in those days.... this makes sense, us "once a weekers". (Sometimes more when he went after it). 

NOW... no more embarrassment, love the Forplay, I would be upset if he didn't want it..... but we have sex so often .... that I have a hard time "getting off" that way.. I think if it was once a week again....it would likely work fine.... 

I recall only orgasming 2 times from oral in the last 3 yrs .... it just doesn't do it for me. I feel my husband is "Good" ...but he is all I know. I just monunmentally prefer the deeper thrusting....that works each & every time for me, I can probably count on less than 2 hands how many times I didn't get the big O in 22 yrs. 

I never even realized women needed extra clitoral stimulation till I seen that in Porn, I remember thinking... why are they doing that. I was so clueless.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Here is how it is/was for me.... I DEFINITELY had a pathetic mental block in the past. I would push his head away, all I could think about was... "ewww how can he stand that!", I was embarrassed - plus it seemed ULTRA sensitive --but we were so sex starved when we got around to sex back in those days.... this makes sense, us "once a weekers". (Sometimes more when he went after it).
> 
> NOW... no more embarrassment, love the Forplay, I would be upset if he didn't want it..... but we have sex so often .... that I have a hard time "getting off" that way.. I think if it was once a week again....it would likely work fine....
> 
> ...


I still struggle with the idea that the little bump that gives so many women such great pleasure is located on the outside.

Really - seems almost like a design flaw.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

nice777guy said:


> I still struggle with the idea that the little bump that gives so many women such great pleasure is located on the outside.
> 
> Really - seems almost like a design flaw.


It has to be there on the outside, and easy to find. Otherwise you guys would never find it since none of you like to ask for directions!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Even though it's in the outside, it's still hiding under a hood! AND many of you won't even let us turn the lights on!!! We have to rummage around - in the dark - feeling around with our tongues for a "nub"!!!

Make it like golf and put a flag on it!


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

nice777guy said:


> Ok - I have gotten the impression over the years that not all women can have an orgasm via intercourse / penetration without some clitoral stimulation. Makes sense to me.
> 
> But - can all women have orgasms through oral? For those who don't or can't, is it possibly a mental block - not being relaxed enough? Or perhaps poor technique by their partner?



I think for women orgasms is more in the head than it is for men. If we don't want to have an orgasm we probably wont. I know I can control how long I take to orgasm orally just by my mood. If I am more into it I will have an orgasm quickly. 

As far as poor technique, that could stop you from having an orgasm. Or it could stop you from having a strong orgasm it just depends on the details.


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## cledus_snow (Feb 19, 2012)

> I still struggle with the idea that the little bump that gives so many women such great pleasure is located on the outside.


there's another spot bro. you just have to reach in there to tap it. 

once you hit it, stand back and watch the convulsions take place......looks like they're having a seizure or somethin'.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

cledus_snow said:


> there's another spot bro. you just have to reach in there to tap it.
> 
> once you hit it, stand back and watch the convulsions take place......looks like they're having a seizure or somethin'.


Have found it manually before - with a lot of instruction.

Its NOT something I could have found on my own.


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