# Craigslist and husbands affair



## soldiermom19 (Mar 1, 2013)

Hello everyone,

I'm new to this board, so thank you in advance for listening. Last week, I went on Craigslist in hopes of finding a phone for my daughter, she has been wanting an Iphone and they are super expensive. Anyway, once on the main page, I noticed that casual encounters was highlighted, which meant someone had been looking at this? I checked the history and sure enough, there were a few posts read from casual encounters. When my husband arrived home that night, I asked if it were him, and he confessed yes he had looked, but only looked. Two years ago, he had confessed to an emailing affair, but only emailing. However, last night he admitted to me that he had posted an ad on Craigslist two years ago, and had actually had sex with a woman named Stephanie on two occasions. I am a mess, emotionally. My husband also confessed that he has a habit of porn and erotic stories and has started counseling to deal with that.

I originally thought we were just dealing with porn and looking at stuff on the net, but now this confession. Basically he slept with this woman and continued on with our marriage. Tuesday night he told me he loved me but he didn't know if he was in love with me, but wants to try to work things out.

I feel angry, sick, ugly, I'm comparing myself to that woman, all the women he looks at in porn. How could he have sex with her and still have sex with me after? I feel like it was all fake, one big act.

On top of this my kiddo is in the military and heading overseas for deployment. I feel as if I am hanging on by an emotional thread barely.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

The first thing you need to do is have an STD test. Your health has been compromised. Make your husband have the test too.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

So what do YOU want? Do you want to try working through things?

Look into the threads in here about reconcilation after cheating has occurred. Look at the things that people have their cheating spouse do to try to recover. All this assuming that you want to work things out.

You should probably also talk to a lawyer, and find out where you stand legally. What steps you could/should take to try to protect yourself, if things don't go well.

C


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## nevergveup (Feb 18, 2013)

Well,he did come clean when you asked him.There is hope that
that the marriage can be fixed if you want.If he didn't care at all
I suspect he would have denied everything,but he told you about
the affair.

He could have said nothing and you would have never
found out about it.If hes showing guilt or remorse,that's a good thing.Good luck, whatever you decide.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

nevergveup said:


> Well,he did come clean when you asked him.There is hope that
> that the marriage can be fixed if you want.If he didn't care at all
> I suspect he would have denied everything,but he told you about
> the affair.
> ...


She doesn't know if he came clean or not. He's told her some stuff, but it may not be complete. It's relatively rare for the first confession to be complete.

C


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Yeah, you have no way of knowing if you have the whole truth yet or not. My suggestion is to tell your husband to give you full and unhindered access to EVERYTHING so you can go and see for yourself. All emails, log ins, EVERYTHING. And he does NOT get to TOUCH the keyboard while you do all this. He doesn't get a chance to delete anything.

There are a couple of links in my signature that will help - the Newbie link especially. And if you want to, read my story - my husband did similar things.

And I second the STD testing.

I kicked my husband right out of the house when I found out what he was up to. Most BS's can't do that, but I still suggest it. Your husband fvcked up ROYALLY and doesn't deserve a second chance until and unless YOU decide he does.


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