# Fantasy



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

Thought I would post this here to get a womans point of view. 

After ten years of marriage and the last year or so being pretty rough my wife tells me she has a fantasy of be tied up and having me come on to here.
And her playing that she does'nt know me and that she does'nt want it but she really does.

It took me a total of about thirty seconde to jump on board this idea and it was awsome, some of the best we've had. Never seen her so into it.

So you ask what's the problem?

Well I have'nt seen this side her before, Is this something she's enjoyed in other relationships? Is she thinking of some one else?
Why now after ten years? Is this a mid life thing? (she's 49 and I'm 52) Or am I just over thinking?

Given our recent argueing makes me question things.

Thanks for any input you may have.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

It is really sad how sexually insecure people are.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

There are lots of things it could be.

Maybe she's never felt comfortable enough till now to say it. Maybe she's been watching porn or reading erotica and got the idea from there. Maybe her girlfriends and she have been talking. Maybe she's cheating and got it from there. Maybe she read 50 Shades of Grey. 

Why don't you ask her??


----------



## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

Rape fantasjes are pretty common.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> It is really sad how sexually insecure people are.


I don't think I'm sexually insecure as much as insecure with our marriage.


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

What is the rest of your story? What is causing the insecurity in your marriage? Or please tell me where you have another thread and I will go read it.


----------



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> There are lots of things it could be.
> 
> Maybe she's never felt comfortable enough till now to say it. Maybe she's been watching porn or reading erotica and got the idea from there. Maybe her girlfriends and she have been talking. Maybe she's cheating and got it from there. Maybe she read 50 Shades of Grey.
> 
> Why don't you ask her??


I did ask, were this was came from she says it wasn't something she had been thinking of for a long time and that she had just thought of it now.


----------



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> What is the rest of your story? What is causing the insecurity in your marriage? Or please tell me where you have another thread and I will go read it.


The story gets long like most do. 
I'll try to compress it

Ten years of marriage, four step daughters (hers), she's been smoking pot and going out with her (divorced and single) sister when I go out of town, metapause (telling me she doesn't have any drive), she does suffer from deppresion, We are seeing a marriage counselor (just started) 

I'm sure thers more


----------



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

Thoreau said:


> Rape fantasjes are pretty common.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Rape fantasies, Good, bad, somthing from the past? or who knows?


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Yes, those are some red flags in your story.

Rape fantasies can be good or bad, there's no rule.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

49 & 52. She suggested something to spice it up.

Where's the problem?!

Well...besides the whole going out with her divorced/single sister and smoking pot when you go out of town...


----------



## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Failing to see the problem here.....


----------



## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

The problem, I presume, was the sudden nature of it. I would be a bit shocked too. But I would roll with it. I'm guessing she read about it and became aroused by the thought, so she wanted to try it.


----------



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> 49 & 52. She suggested something to spice it up.
> 
> Where's the problem?!
> 
> Well...besides the whole going out with her divorced/single sister and smoking pot when you go out of town...


Spice it up, those were her words

The pot and sister thing I came down on hard and were working on that. 

But I don't want to be a dictator, I want a wife that wants to be with me. and not have to self med with pot.


----------



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

okeydokie said:


> The problem, I presume, was the sudden nature of it. I would be a bit shocked too. But I would roll with it. I'm guessing she read about it and became aroused by the thought, so she wanted to try it.


Given that I'm the only one here that truly knows my situation, my gut tell's me your right. 

When your having problems I think we tend to over think things at least I know I do and that can cause more problems.

By no means am I complaining about that evening.


----------



## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

using pot is a bad thing??


----------



## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Sex can be really great on pot.

Just sayin.


----------



## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

KHC223 said:


> Spice it up, those were her words
> 
> The pot and sister thing I came down on hard and were working on that.
> 
> But I don't want to be a dictator, I want a wife that wants to be with me. and not have to self med with pot.


No, it's not about being a dictator at all. It is simply about ensuring there are appropriate boundaries. Look, man...there are husbands and wives who are perfectly capable of going out to bars without their spouses or SO's and never do anything wrong. However, you simply need to make sure that you're both on the same page.

Has she read the "Grey" books lately? I know my wife did and she's expressed that she likes it when I'm a little "rough" with her. It's a pretty good turn on to tell ya the truth. I like that and if it makes her feel hot and that makes me feel hot then what's not to like. Just make sure there's a safe word so sh-t never gets outta hand!



Hope1964 said:


> using pot is a bad thing??


In the right setting with the right attitude, it's no worse than having a drink, IMO. Although, I personally have never used any kind of drug besides booze, I wouldn't ever tell someone it's a bad thing.

Heroin, crank...that sh-t's bad.


----------



## somethingelse (Jun 20, 2012)

Sounds like she is just trying to spice things up, what's wrong with that?


----------



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Sex can be really great on pot.
> 
> Just sayin.


It effects people differntly, it wasn't a plus more of a negative. 
This is not really about the pot it's about me not agreeing with her doing it. How about Respect, Trust, Honesty


----------



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

somethingelse said:


> Sounds like she is just trying to spice things up, what's wrong with that?


My gut tells me she was just trying to spice things up. 

And she did!!!!!!


----------



## KHC223 (Jul 30, 2012)

SomedayDig said:


> No, it's not about being a dictator at all. It is simply about ensuring there are appropriate boundaries. Look, man...there are husbands and wives who are perfectly capable of going out to bars without their spouses or SO's and never do anything wrong. However, you simply need to make sure that you're both on the same page.
> 
> Has she read the "Grey" books lately? I know my wife did and she's expressed that she likes it when I'm a little "rough" with her. It's a pretty good turn on to tell ya the truth. I like that and if it makes her feel hot and that makes me feel hot then what's not to like. Just make sure there's a safe word so sh-t never gets outta hand!
> 
> ...


Being on the same page..... Thats the problem, It's company you keep... Meaning your wife going out with a few other married girls and maybe a single girl maybe ok.

How about your wife being the only married one and her sister being the brining the pot.

It's up to my wife to say no. Non the lese I don't care for the influence of her sister.

Don't think she's read the Grey's but after last weekend I think I'll suggest it.


----------

