# Husband Hates my Parents



## 210 Walnut (Dec 14, 2011)

What do I do my husband hates my parents and will not allow me or the kids to see them? He will only say that they are fake and they have bad values. We have talked and talked and talked and he never seems to bend about this.


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## Acorn (Dec 16, 2010)

A spouse shouldn't be able to prevent another spouse from seeing his/her family. He is being a controlling jerk and you are enabling his behavior if you go along with it imo.

Put the kids in the car and go and tell him to have a nice day to himself, he's earned it.


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## Mistys dad (Dec 2, 2011)

He can hate them all he wants. That's his deal.

If he is preventing you from seeing them, that's abuse.

Abuse requires outside help. Get it now.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

People can call me whatever they want and do what they have to do, but I completely disapprove of my wife or my children visiting her mom or having other contact with her. I do not take specific action to prevent anyone from doing what they may wish to do but I provide absolutely zero material support to any meeting or any communication. If mom wants to come over and visit, I won't stop her and I will entertain myself in my room until she leaves. But I will not leave my home just so she can come over. And I am not shy about making my feelings known.

I have suggested to my wife that I am willing to meeting with her mom and hers or my pastor. If we find that we can all get on the same page regarding God, marriage, marriage partner's responsibilities to each other, protection of marriage from divisive outside influences and what is respectful behavior then I could be inclined to lighten up.


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## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

Dont let him get away with this!!! You can always change your partner but parents are people you can never replace. Ask him what he has against them why wont he let you and the kids see them. Go and see them whats he going to do leave he would be stupid to if someone asked why he left and his answer was because you went to see your family. That is ridiculous the more you do as he says the more he will try to put a hold over you its not worth it. My dad passed away last year and i miss him very much his on my mind all the time. I spent alot of time with him but sometimes i think about the things i wish we did as father and daughter. Believe me you will regret it if you dont put your foot down and spend time with them. Good luck


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> People can call me whatever they want and do what they have to do, but I completely disapprove of my wife or my children visiting her mom or having other contact with her. I do not take specific action to prevent anyone from doing what they may wish to do but I provide absolutely zero material support to any meeting or any communication. If mom wants to come over and visit, I won't stop her and I will entertain myself in my room until she leaves. But I will not leave my home just so she can come over. And I am not shy about making my feelings known.
> 
> I have suggested to my wife that I am willing to meeting with her mom and hers or my pastor. If we find that we can all get on the same page regarding God, marriage, marriage partner's responsibilities to each other, protection of marriage from divisive outside influences and what is respectful behavior then I could be inclined to lighten up.


What has your MIL done to that you feel this way about her?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

210 Walnut said:


> What do I do my husband hates my parents and will not allow me or the kids to see them? He will only say that they are fake and they have bad values. We have talked and talked and talked and he never seems to bend about this.


Why does he not want you and your children to see your parents? Is there something that has happened?

Until we know the back story, it's hard to give advice or comment.


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## As'laDain (Nov 27, 2011)

my MIL kicked my wife out of her house and then proceeded to try and convince her that i was the same as her abusive ex husband. she tried to rip our marriage apart when it had just started. until she lightend up, for a while i wouldnt let my wife see her mother either. i never stopped her outright, but i made it well known what my opinions were.
we kinda need a backstory...


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

EleGirl said:


> What has your MIL done to that you feel this way about her?


She is verbally and emotionally abusive to my wife, verbally abusive and disrespectful to me, encourages my wife to take the kids and leave me, encourages my wife to defy me, encourages my wife to divorce me, tells other family members and friends lies about me, ...

I have zero tolerance for outsiders trying to influence my wife to dissolve our marriage. I don't care who they are or what their motive is, neither me nor my wife are married to them. I don't owe them anything. There is nothing in my wedding vows regarding anyone other than my wife. My wife's mom is against me and everything I try to do. She envisions a future in which my wife's destiny is fulfilled by leaving me and striking out on her own and she is willing to work for and provide material support her vision. In her mind, it is better that our kids be raised by a woman in poverty than to be influenced by their father.


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## s.k (Feb 27, 2010)

Im sure that your wife has a mind of her own to not listen to what ever encouragment her mother dishes out. Her mum may say bad things about you but the final decision will be your wives to either listen to other peoples opinions and thoughts or follow her own heart


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

s.k said:


> Im sure that your wife has a mind of her own to not listen to what ever encouragment her mother dishes out. Her mum may say bad things about you but the final decision will be your wives to either listen to other peoples opinions and thoughts or follow her own heart


Yes. I understand that a lot of people disagree with me on whether or not divorce is an appropriate way to solve marital disagreements. However, not being of that point of view I am most unlikely to approve of or facilitate any personal interactions with close family members that have a distinct component of challenging my spouse to make what I consider a bad decision for herself, our children and myself


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

He does not have the right to forbid you. You are not his underage child. You're an adult. Act like it. For your sake and your kids' sakes.


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## Laurae1967 (May 10, 2011)

Ten_year_hubby said:


> She is verbally and emotionally abusive to my wife, verbally abusive and disrespectful to me, encourages my wife to take the kids and leave me, encourages my wife to defy me, encourages my wife to divorce me, tells other family members and friends lies about me, ...
> 
> I have zero tolerance for outsiders trying to influence my wife to dissolve our marriage. I don't care who they are or what their motive is, neither me nor my wife are married to them. I don't owe them anything. There is nothing in my wedding vows regarding anyone other than my wife. My wife's mom is against me and everything I try to do. She envisions a future in which my wife's destiny is fulfilled by leaving me and striking out on her own and she is willing to work for and provide material support her vision. In her mind, it is better that our kids be raised by a woman in poverty than to be influenced by their father.


Have you done something in your marriage that was particularly heinous?

If not, your MIL sounds like a card-carrying Narcissist.


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