# We cant stand each other anymore



## jc2006 (Aug 17, 2011)

My husband and I have been married 5 years and we have 2 little ones now. We have had a lot of stress in our lives for the last 3-4 years and it seems to have gotten to the point where we just take it out on each other everyday and we cant stand each other anymore...we fight almost daily and we've gotten to the point where we dont even care anymore that our relationship sucks...he's unwilling to go to counseling and there are so many issues that we cant even seem to discuss calmly and rationally let alone work on them...I dont know where to start or if its even worth saving...I think we're both feeling like we're only together for the kids right now...any advice on where to go from here is appreciated!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Have you read the 5 Love Languages? Get some relationship/marriage books and see if he will apply the meat of what they say to your marriage.

Explain to him how you feel and how you're very concerned about your marriage.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Have you considered something as a precursor to therapy, such as just an arbitrator or neutral third party the two of you could talk about a VERY LIMITED and specific list of things to set the expectations about what therapy would and would not be like? I know it sounds like sort of the same thing but I'm recommending you two talk to someone who talks back very little and just establishes what you could cover in therapy and how you are and are not allowed to speak to each other so that it doesn't wind up in a fist fight.


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## the gifted (Aug 31, 2011)

You do not like each other anymore, but you're talking in your point of view and his and your husband does not speak in your point of view because you talking in his name?


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

jc2006 said:


> I think we're both feeling like we're only together for the kids right now


Although they are quite young, children are intuitive. They pick up on tension in a home. Sometimes people simply cannot live together, but they remain together for the "sake of the children." I sure as heck wish my parents hadn't done it! I grew up in a war zone, and I assure you it had major repurcussions on me throughout my adulthood.

If he refuses counseling, then go by yourself. It couldn't hurt to get some mechanisms in place to diffuse a volatile situation. When a fight starts, you always have the choice to go into another room, go into the bathroom and lock the door, take the kids and go visit friends .... just a suggestion to consider.


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