# Women, what do you "need" from your husband?



## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Other then respect. We all need respect both husband and wife.

What are your specific needs to make you happy and desire your husband more?


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

He needs to treat me with kindness and compassion, even if he can't always understand female emotions, just knowing that he takes me seriously, expresses concern and doesn't try to tell me what or how my feelings are "wrong" is what counts - not his ability to rationalize or dismiss my concerns altogether. That is what really makes me feel loved and accepted "as is". 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

I need affection. My husband shows me affection nightly by sitting or laying next to me holding my hand or putting his arm around me. I love when he holds me. All I need is 1/2 hour a day of snuggling.

It makes me feel loved and secure. I feel connected with him on a deeper level now that we take the time to do this.

I need communication. This is with him looking me in the eyes and having a conversation. We work together as a team and compromise easily. We are each others best friend.

I need sex. I need sex just as much as my husband needs it, if not more. My drive is currently higher then his. I make sure I'm not pushy with this need. I don't want him to think that he has to preform. With him showing me affection, my desire is much stronger for him. It makes me feel good knowing he desires me as well.


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## YinPrincess (Jul 31, 2011)

^^ Same! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Affection, sex, security (emotional), and protection.

oh and the ability to kill zombies. that's a MUST!


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## shy_guy (Jan 25, 2012)

Great thread. Subscribing and getting in learning mode.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Also, I need him to be responsible. I need him to be a man of his word. I need to really trust that when he says he'll do something, he does it. No nagging in this house because my husband is a man of his word. He's proven it time and time again.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

So long as my husband remains a Hopeless Romantic for me and gives me alot of sex & affection.....I feel like this >>


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> So long as my husband remains a Hopeless Romantic for me and gives me alot of sex & affection.....I feel like this >>


hmm, you know the saying there isnt completely right, right?


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

I need love and affection (and sex), honesty and trust. But mostly I need his time and attention.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

I'mAllIn said:


> But mostly I need his time and attention.


wish i had done more of this, then i would still be with my exgf. 

i always seem to figure things out too late :/


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Time is so important. 

I like feeling #1 on Hubs' list, even though sometimes I'm not. I still FEEL like I'm #1. 

We've come a long way since the separation. I think it was a good learning place for the both of us.

He's just the sweetest man and I never appreciated that side of him. I do now...and I am reaping the benefits.


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## I'mAllIn (Oct 20, 2011)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> wish i had done more of this, then i would still be with my exgf.
> 
> i always seem to figure things out too late :/


Most of us only learn the hard lessons from making our own mistakes. I speak from experience.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> So long as my husband remains a Hopeless Romantic for me


Ahhhhhhh.... Yes. Hopeless Romantic!  I agree!


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

that_girl said:


> Time is so important.


I absolutely agree!!! That's one thing I never have to worry about. My husband is a true family man. He spends a great deal of his free time with us.


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## Confused_and_bitter (Aug 6, 2011)

1. Honesty
2. Affection (sex) 
3. His attention (not all the time but I would like to have just one on one conversations on things besides kids and the house)
4. I would love it if he would put me first more often.
5. If he would listen to me! I have to ask him a million times for him to do something I don't hint at it I am very straightforward but he just sits there playing video games.
6. Emotional security


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> hmm, you know the saying there isnt completely right, right?


Accually, likely - I am not aware of the meaning you mean, I am a bit sheltered and niave (in some ways)... I don't get off the farm too much, so what IS the saying 2nd time iz?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Accually, likely - I am not aware of the meaning you mean, I am a bit sheltered and niave (in some ways)... I don't get off the farm too much, so what IS the saying 2nd time iz?


youve never heard...
happy as a pig in sh!t!?
lol


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> youve never heard...
> happy as a pig in sh!t!?
> lol


Oh yeah, of course I have and well, I do tend to talk like that at home sometimes -depending on who is around but hmmmm on this forum it might be very unlady like of me.  

I think I'll take the mudd over the sh!t though on this one. LOL


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

I doubt sex is a "need' of most wives.

They just put it down in the list to look good be honest.


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## Trying2figureitout (Feb 3, 2011)

I doubt sex is a "need' of most wives.

They just put it down in the list to look good.

Just come out and say it like it is... 

That'd explain a lot of why so many upset husbands.


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## OldGirl (Feb 20, 2012)

Sorry you feel that way Trying2FigureItOut. Sex is a definite need for me. Not trying to impress anybody. 

That_Girl, I love your new avatar.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Trying2figureitout said:


> I doubt sex is a "need' of most wives.
> 
> They just put it down in the list to look good.
> 
> ...


Your kidding right? My drive is currently much higher then my husbands, plus I'm totally in love with him! 

My husband is a very happy man. . I pray it stays that way for a very long time!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Trying2figureitout said:


> I doubt sex is a "need' of most wives.
> 
> They just put it down in the list to look good be honest.


you just have a bad sexlife.

I'm a wife and I have the flu and I just had amazing doggy style sex with my amazingly sexy husband. I denied him last night because I was dying, even though i wanted it too...just couldn't find the energy. So I grabbed him aside while the kids were preoccupied and had a quickie on my sick bed :rofl: 

just because YOUR wife doesn't want sex, doesn't mean ALL wives dont' want sex. Stop making lame generalizations. I love sex. Always have. I love having sex with my husband. He's just an amazing lover...I can't get enough  It's a HUGE part of our daily lives with each other.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Trying2figureitout said:


> I doubt sex is a "need' of most wives.
> 
> They just put it down in the list to look good.
> 
> ...


I agree with what you say.... but for ME, it is a NEED, If my husband didn't want me, I'd probably leave him... because I would feel very frustrated and hurt -which would lead to severe unhappiness.. that would be so demeaning.. being desired is life giving. I am just thankful I am a woman. Patience is not a strong point of mine. 

I give all of you men a ton of praise for putting up with it as patiently and faithfully as you do. Thrilled to be a female-cause men at least "get it" when we NEED IT ...my husband does , he has compassion ....and thankfully wants it too, even when physically I put a strain on him. He never turned me down. Once I recall -worried about our oldest son getting home on icy roads, then when he got home, we went at it. 

I do wish he had a bit higher of a sex drive these days, I just like it more when the man's is higher, I didn't like feeling "needy"..... 2 yrs ago, when mine sky rocketed far above his, even that was difficult for me & I was getting it near every day. 

I had a taste of that high high drive...unrelenting is what it was. Loved it & hated it at the same time. Mismatched Libidos are disheartening , it sure helps when you have a willing caring lover to please you.


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## Dill (Jan 31, 2012)

From my husband, I need honesty. I really need to know that I can trust him (in my case I can't always trust him, which is a big issue). If I can't trust him, I can't feel safe and secure with him. 

I need compassion when I am feeling emotional, having a hard day, or feeling sick. My husband often shows me scorn when I need a shoulder to cry on, which really hurts. 

Lastly, I need affection. All women I think, really need to be shown pretty much on a daily basis that they are loved. If they don't feel loved, they kind of die a little bit inside.


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## I'mInLoveWithMyHubby (Nov 7, 2011)

Dill said:


> From my husband, I need honesty. I really need to know that I can trust him (in my case I can't always trust him, which is a big issue). If I can't trust him, I can't feel safe and secure with him.
> 
> I need compassion when I am feeling emotional, having a hard day, or feeling sick. My husband often shows me scorn when I need a shoulder to cry on, which really hurts.


My ex husband was like this. Untrustworthy and when I was upset, he'd scream or yell at me calling me a baby. He was unfaithful and very verbally abusive. I left after a year. I found solid proof of his cheating, which he turned it around and blamed me for it claiming I set him up to cheat. What an idiot.

I really thought my ex would change when we were married. I was totally wrong and you can not change who they are. Good luck, I hope you will find happiness.

My husband now is the polar opposite from my ex. He always puts my needs before his own. He truly loves me and shows it everyday. He needs affection as much as I do.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

Hugs..... lots of hugs
Reassurance that "Everything will turn out OK".. (even if its not okay now)
tells me that he loves me, or thinks i'm sexy/beautiful.... even when I'm not feeling pretty.


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## HazelGrove (Feb 29, 2012)

Trying2figureitout said:


> I doubt sex is a "need' of most wives.
> 
> They just put it down in the list to look good be honest.


:rofl:...no. It's a need. Promise. But not the only one 

The other needs? Respect, affection, empathy, honesty, a light touch & humour, and forbearance (or forgetfulness!) towards my faults. Good listening skills too (something I am also working on, so I can't be too demanding...)


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Oh yeah, of course I have and well, I do tend to talk like that at home sometimes -depending on who is around but hmmmm on this forum it might be very unlady like of me.
> 
> I think I'll take the mudd over the sh!t though on this one. LOL


Down here its "happier than a pig in slop."


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## itgetsbetter (Mar 1, 2012)

I need my husband to be very strong and dominant (not domineering)...it makes me feel safe.

I need my husband to banter with me...joke around...be silly.

I need my husband to flirt.

I need sex. 

I need him to be someone I can look up to but still feel vulnerable with.


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