# Adding a girlfriend



## daddymikey1975 (Apr 18, 2009)

My wife and I have been married 7yrs. we're doing really well now and I have had the fantasy of watching her make love to another woman.. 

good idea, bad idea?? hands off for me completely.. 

what do you folks think?


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## heartache (Mar 21, 2009)

What if her thing was for you and another guy being together, how would you feel?


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## Shael (Apr 23, 2009)

If you can go into it mind open, jelousy aside and capable of separating any connections from pure sex, I say go for it.

That being said..

If you can't handle her being with another man, with you there or you alone and if you can't trust her to not have any emotional attachment to him, don't go there.

Chick, or ****... Honestly, different genders, same ramifications once you get past the sex and into the mind.

Don't do it, is my advice.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

i think it just depends on how she feels about it. have you talked about it?


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

It depends if you guys are sexually deviant and willing to risk creating tension in the marriage. My husband has suggested such a scenario, and I really just think he is a selfish pervert for thinking it was a good idea, considering how much other things in our marriage I am unhappy with.


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## daddymikey1975 (Apr 18, 2009)

heartache said:


> What if her thing was for you and another guy being together, how would you feel?


if it was her fantasy, I'd oblige.. no risk of 'emotional attachment' there.. LOL.. (don't ask why there would be a bit of a comfort level obliging HAHA)



Shael said:


> ........Don't do it, is my advice.


this seems smart after reviewing things..



Sensitive said:


> It depends if you guys are sexually deviant and willing to risk creating tension in the marriage. My husband has suggested such a scenario, and I really just think he is a selfish pervert for thinking it was a good idea, considering how much other things in our marriage I am unhappy with.


Sexually deviant.. not really.. I used to be but think i've lost it somewhere or grown up.. not quite sure.. HAHA.. my marriage has recovered quite well from some recent drama, however i'm nost sure if i want more tension in the marriage.. 

These are all good points to ponder. Thanks everyone for the advice


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Anytime a spouse allows another lover into the picture there is risk. We have had more than one poster come here to tell how hot it was only to return some time later complaining that their spouse left them for their “fantasy fulfiller”. Be careful what you wish for.


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## daddymikey1975 (Apr 18, 2009)

Amplexor said:


> Anytime a spouse allows another lover into the picture there is risk. We have had more than one poster come here to tell how hot it was only to return some time later complaining that their spouse left them for their “fantasy fulfiller”. Be careful what you wish for.


And I dont think i want to travel down that road.. the fantasy sounds nice.. howver it'll just have to stay a fantasy 

I can't deal with any more drama than we already have . . we've recovered really well, and we're doing great... no sense in messing up a good thing


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## MsLady (Dec 1, 2008)

If things were shaky only recently and are just now doing well, I wouldn't rock that boat. Wait until the ground is truly very solid.

Having said that, nothing wrong with a fantasy and the one you mention sounds fun ... ONLY if it's also your wife's fantasy. If she does it only to please you, but is not really into the idea, she could resent you and problems would ensue.

Have you mentioned it to her or even hinted at it? What was her reaction?

I say, if you're too uncomfortable to even bring it up, you're not ready to experience it.


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## GAsoccerman (Mar 24, 2008)

for you I would say this is a bad idea... you ahd tension, you need a long time and seriur communicationa nd really strong trust to introduce a third party


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## Seekinghelp28 (Jul 27, 2011)

You sir are a smart man for deciding against it, yep its hot ...sure but it can only do one thing......escalate!. be happy together , keep the fantasies what they are..rarely is the reality ever what you could want! It's messy with a third...


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## FirstYearDown (Sep 15, 2011)

Wanting to watch a spouse have sex with another lover is a very common fantasy, hardly "sexual deviancy." What year is this?:rofl: It's not like the OP is into children or animals.

I agree that it should just be a fantasy. I used to be very curious about threesomes, until my husband sweetly explained that he only needs one woman, which is the wife that he loves.  Hubby doesn't want to share me with anyone, male or female. I am flattered, since I always thought that every man wanted a threesome. Glad we never opened that door!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

This thread is from 2009. Just say'n


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## OutdoorsRus (Oct 1, 2011)

Like FirstYearDown wrote, this is a fairly common fantasy and it can go both ways. Using it as a fantasy may well work for you but i agree with most others that replied that making this a reality is likely destructive to your relationship.

But the need for some 'creative jealousy' that would result and that, in my thinking, is the driving force behind this idea, can be experienced in far less threatening circumstances. What about going to a dance and watching each other dance and laugh with various partners? Watch each other, have fun and then go home and close the blinds.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

OutdoorsRus said:


> Like FirstYearDown wrote, this is a fairly common fantasy and it can go both ways. Using it as a fantasy may well work for you but i agree with most others that replied that making this a reality is likely destructive to your relationship.
> 
> But the need for some 'creative jealousy' that would result and that, in my thinking, is the driving force behind this idea, can be experienced in far less threatening circumstances. What about going to a dance and watching each other dance and laugh with various partners? Watch each other, have fun and then go home and close the blinds.


Your absolutely right ! Me and my wife did it and she was the one that actually said she would be turned on by it. After it happened she broke down and it was never right after that. We are divorced.


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## timbre (Oct 3, 2011)

Been there, done it, got the tshirt...

I'll preface this to say that my wife is more than bi-curious but less than full bi.

It was a mutual friend. Two nights in a row only becasue we got inturrupted the first night. I only had actual sex with my wife (was one of the ground rules)

Did it cause some issues... yup, but we are still friends with the person.

Interesting enough it might actually be happening again fairly soon. Another close friend that my wife really likes (female) Interesting twist here is that this might be more of a long term thing. Which I think i'm cool with...

Its a long story and fairly complicated... (arent they all)

BIGGEST THING

SET BOUNDARIES and make sure that it is all the FEMALE'S ideas... Don't do anything that she doesn't want or ask for. (that was what got us into a argument afterwards)


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