# To swallow or to spit!



## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

So does it offend you if we don't swallow???


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## Shadow_Nirvana (Jan 1, 2013)

Isn't it very nutritious?


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## Enchanted (Jan 2, 2013)

LOL

I just like the title.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Enchanted said:


> LOL
> 
> I just like the title.


:rofl: same!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

trigirl said:


> So does it offend you if we don't swallow???


Not me personally. I consider an oral finish this really wonderful, erotic way that my W shares herself with me. She doesn't do it all the time, but for me, that makes it more special.

Given that, it doesn't bug me if she swallows or not. It can be really erotic if she does, but for me, it's the act of the finish that I find hot.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Look at it this way... After your partner finishes giving you a great orgasm orally, how would you feel if he ran to the bathroom to wash his face and rinse out his mouth? Or scrubbing off his tongue with a facecloth?

Personally, I'm not too fussy either way. But my ex wasn't getting anywhere close to letting me cum in her mouth, and the only partners I've had since were more than willing to swallow. So my experiences may be limited.

C


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

Glad I could entertain the ladies... 

The reason I was asking is because after doing the deed...so to speak...I get up right away to rinse and spit. I love doing it, but it is like a mouthful of GU. I don't want to offend my husband and he has been nice enough not to express one way or the other. I don't think he cares. I do go back to bed and cuddle...


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

My husband and I had this conversation about two weeks ago. He told me that he's never wanted me to swallow because he thinks it's too gross for me. Therefore he's been claiming for years that he doesn't like BJ's at all, so that I wouldn't feel pressured to give them.







:scratchhead:


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

PBear said:


> Look at it this way... After your partner finishes giving you a great orgasm orally, how would you feel if he ran to the bathroom to wash his face and rinse out his mouth? Or scrubbing off his tongue with a facecloth?
> 
> Personally, I'm not too fussy either way. But my ex wasn't getting anywhere close to letting me cum in her mouth, and the only partners I've had since were more than willing to swallow. So my experiences may be limited.
> 
> C


LOL...I do not go "scrub" my tongue or mouth. I spit. I think oral on a woman is totally different.


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## Thoreau (Nov 12, 2012)

I don't care what she does when I am finished with it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pb76no (Nov 1, 2012)

And I thought this was about what to do when you have that draining nasal congestion.

But to the original question - guess I prefer the swallow, but right now I'd just settle for the BJ any way I can get it.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

trigirl said:


> LOL...I do not go "scrub" my tongue or mouth. I spit. I think oral on a woman is totally different.


Why? Trust me, my GF can squirt a whole lot more than I can... And I've also gone down on her right after "making a deposit", as well as making sure she gets a sloppy wet kiss after doing so. It's just body fluids... Not sure why so many people get hung up on it.

Anyway, you asked for guys opinions, and I'm giving you mine. With some guys, you run the risk of making them feel "rejected" if you spit out their stuff right after. With other guys, once they're done they don't care. Talk to your husband and find out how he feels about it. Or try it a few times, and see if he says anything positive. 

C


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Doesnt matter to me. Much.

I know many women are uptight about this.

One time...10 years after meeting her.. my wife was laying a BJ on me. Something that really only happens what.. half a dozen imes a year..tops. for some reason I pulled out of her mouth and.. uhm.. well stuff went flying everywhere. It was funny she was like '..you got it in my hair and everything...' mock 'eeewwww'. we laughed.

She said this: 'I thought you liked it when I swallow'? What she meant was 'I didnt think its as much fun if you dont finish in my mouth and I dont swallow'.

Sigh.

"no honey. its all good. you are awesome no matter how things end." She seemed frankly...a bit surprised.

Im not a total unobservant goober. I can see that my wife isnt, uhm... craving that necessarily. Yes - she does enjoy giving a BJ, (she gets SO horny doing it) but lets all be honest - a big swallow isnt for everyone. She is doing it partly for her, partly for me, mostly for us... its just part of the menu, to coin a phrase.

(background - she had a bad experience in college with some guy basically forcing her into a BJ to completion. Took her YEARS to really get over that.. to deep down believe that isnt what guys really want or are like... long story, but thats long past at this point.)

Finishing in her is simply exquisite, no doubt about it.. I simply have the best O's that way, I cant explain it. But the necessity of _swallowing_ is highly overrated in my book.

She still typically swallows.. but now sometimes if she isnt in the mood or something - she might hit the eject button after the first sqiurt and just 'handle' things onto her chest or something. This, by the way quite awesome too, in a different way. Im glad she feels like she has the option now. Sheesh! The name of the game is 'maximizing fun for everyone', right?

gads. Im so horny now.

p.s. - unrelated.. but I know some ladies locally in a wine tasting club (or should I say a wine 'drinking' club), and they named it 'spit or swallow wine club'.. 

---

p.p.s.. this is all very different than running to the bathroom with a disgusted look on your face! If you want to spit, please, by all means do so.. but also.. I beg you.. dont make me feel like I am revolting. Know what I mean?

Thankfully I have never had to deal with that.. but I guess guys... uhm.. taste different and we all have different feelings on the matter.


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

PBear said:


> Why? Trust me, my GF can squirt a whole lot more than I can... And I've also gone down on her right after "making a deposit", as well as making sure she gets a sloppy wet kiss after doing so. It's just body fluids... Not sure why so many people get hung up on it.
> 
> Anyway, you asked for guys opinions, and I'm giving you mine. With some guys, you run the risk of making them feel "rejected" if you spit out their stuff right after. With other guys, once they're done they don't care. Talk to your husband and find out how he feels about it. Or try it a few times, and see if he says anything positive.
> 
> C


I totally get what you are saying and I appreciate your response. Thank you.  
But the percentage of women that "squirt" are pretty low. 

I will have a chat with him, but I can always turn and hold my nose right?:scratchhead:


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Being ocd I do get hung up on this and personally am not offended by my spouse washing his face off, brushing his teeth, or scrubbing his tounge and in fact request him to do this. He doesnt mind either way and nof course I dont either. Personally though I am trying to fight past my hang up so I can actually give him a bj to completion for once. To be honest I would rather swallow then hold it in my mouth long enough to spit but thats just me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Gaia said:


> I would rather swallow then hold it in my mouth long enough to spit but thats just me.


Same here! If you can manage to make sure it lands far enough in the back of your throat, you don't even taste it. Spitting it out means you do.


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## thegatewalker (Apr 29, 2012)

*Re: Re: To swallow or to spit!*



Gaia said:


> Being ocd I do get hung up on this and personally am not offended by my spouse washing his face off, brushing his teeth, or scrubbing his tounge and in fact request him to do this. He doesnt mind either way and nof course I dont either. Personally though I am trying to fight past my hang up so I can actually give him a bj to completion for once. To be honest I would rather swallow then hold it in my mouth long enough to spit but thats just me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


As long as I am getting one I am happy.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> ... Therefore he's been claiming for years that he doesn't like BJ's at all, so that I wouldn't feel pressured to give them...


That sounds rather complicated. I feel for you... and him frankly.


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

trigirl said:


> Glad I could entertain the ladies...
> 
> The reason I was asking is because after doing the deed...so to speak...I get up right away to rinse and spit. I love doing it, but it is like a mouthful of GU. I don't want to offend my husband and he has been nice enough not to express one way or the other. I don't think he cares. I do go back to bed and cuddle...


Its all good. No need to tackle the GU.

Horse Semen Shots Served in New Zealand Bar | Oddity Central - Collecting Oddities


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Either way....just don't stop till he's climbing out of his skin...(toes curling as I type lol) Oh and a hand towel next to you is a lot better then having to run the bathroom.....just a thought.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

anotherguy said:


> That sounds rather complicated. I feel for you... and him frankly.


It is, and he does this with all kinds of things. He assumes he knows things about me that he never asks about, and acts on them, and we both go through life never having a clue about what the other REALLY thinks.

He is finally opening up and talking about some of this stuff, though, instead of keeping it all in his head, which is mostly good, or bad, depending.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Don't spit, if you don't like it don't let him finish in your mouth in the first place I say. It's rather rude, just let him sprog all over your face instead lol (kidding - unless you like that lol). But you get the idea


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

Hope1964 said:


> It is, and he does this with all kinds of things. He assumes he knows things about me that he never asks about, and acts on them, and we both go through life never having a clue about what the other REALLY thinks.
> 
> He is finally opening up and talking about some of this stuff, though, instead of keeping it all in his head, which is mostly good, or bad, depending.


I feel like I understand a little.. I grew up catholic and, in retrospect, there was an unhealthy amount of guilt and sexual repression and plenty of baggage on THAT little train ride. I like to think I came out unscathed, but I can see how it can still affect how I believe I am supposed to treat people - and its not based on rationality but upon, frankly.. some nebulous form of fear. If you are making headway in talking in those areas - you are making tremendous headway - no mistake.

totally off topic, sorry.


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Don't spit, if you don't like it don't let him finish in your mouth in the first place I say. It's rather rude, just let him sprog all over your face instead lol (kidding - unless you like that lol). But you get the idea


From what I have heard here it is better to let him finish in my mouth. Better orgasm for him. It's all about him!
My gag reflex is the problem... I can handle holding it in my mouth. NO sprogging in my face..


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## anotherguy (Dec 14, 2011)

'sprog'. Thats a new verb for me. I think you just made it up though, or misused it... 

Urban Dictionary: sprog


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

anotherguy said:


> 'sprog'. Thats a new verb for me. I think you just made it up though, or misused it...
> 
> Urban Dictionary: sprog


I thought it sounded good...


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

trigirl said:


> I totally get what you are saying and I appreciate your response. Thank you.
> But the percentage of women that "squirt" are pretty low.
> 
> I will have a chat with him, but I can always turn and hold my nose right?:scratchhead:


I've had 5 partners in my life (well, that I'm counting), and 2 of them have been squirters. No idea what the percentage is overall, and how many of the "non-squirters" could be, under the right circumstances. Kind of off topic, though... 

Turning and holding your nose as you run to the bathroom is NOT the right solution. As someone else mentioned, rather than running anywhere, have a facecloth handy on the bed, and discretely spit out into that. The less you make it seem "Ewww, I gotta get rid of this!", the less the chance he'll feel like you're rejecting him. Heck, make it part of the performance, and let it fall back onto him and use it to continue stroking him. 

C


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

trigirl said:


> From what I have heard here it is better to let him finish in my mouth. Better orgasm for him. It's all about him!


But what does HE like? 



> My gag reflex is the problem... I can handle holding it in my mouth.


It takes practice to overcome that; use a dildo and find your limits.



> NO sprogging in my face..


Lol


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

PBear said:


> I've had 5 partners in my life (well, that I'm counting), and 2 of them have been squirters. No idea what the percentage is overall, and how many of the "non-squirters" could be, under the right circumstances. Kind of off topic, though...
> 
> Turning and holding your nose as you run to the bathroom is NOT the right solution. As someone else mentioned, rather than running anywhere, have a facecloth handy on the bed, and discretely spit out into that. The less you make it seem "Ewww, I gotta get rid of this!", the less the chance he'll feel like you're rejecting him. Heck, make it part of the performance, and let it fall back onto him and use it to continue stroking him.
> 
> C


Haha...I was kidding about that. But a lot of times he will come home and he will be looking irresistible and I will throw him on the bed and take his pants down. I think "oh wait...I need to get a towel" might be a mood killer. 
But I do like the idea about letting if fall back on him.


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> But what does HE like?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It's not the size...it's the consistency of the cum.
For example....I do triathlons and I cannot use the GU that most train with. It's the consistency that makes me gag.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

trigirl said:


> Haha...I was kidding about that. But a lot of times he will come home and he will be looking irresistible and I will throw him on the bed and take his pants down. I think "oh wait...I need to get a towel" might be a mood killer.
> But I do like the idea about letting if fall back on him.


When you start ripping his clothes off, throw his t-shirt on the bed. Problem solved. Or as I do, keep a supply of faceclothes in the nightstand.

I know what you mean, though... With my GF being the way she is, sex is rarely really spontaneous. Always have to put down a waterproof blanket and towel.

C


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

PBear said:


> When you start ripping his clothes off, throw his t-shirt on the bed. Problem solved


So she'll be wiping off his cum on his T-shirt?



trigirl said:


> It's not the size...it's the consistency of the cum.
> For example....I do triathlons and I cannot use the GU that most train with. It's the consistency that makes me gag.


:scratchhead:
Ok, guess I'll have to ask wifey for this one... wait, nah bad idea. 

She'll be thinking "why the fk is he asking me how not to gag on a blowjob, he must either be turning gay or there's another woman on the side" :slap:


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## Eros Turannos (Feb 4, 2013)

For a long time I could barely get myself to a point where I could give a BJ, much less let them finish in my mouth. After years of marriage, we finally got to the point I could occasionally let him finish in my mouth, but I would have to spit and spit fast before other things would start coming up with it. Finally we talked about it, I can't remember if I brought it up and asked or if he did, but he mentioned that it would be nice if I could be a little more discreet about spitting. 

We since talked about his experiences with his one an only other partner, and he mentioned (because I asked specifically, I'm strange like that) that she had had sex with him, then went down on him and swallowed. Well now. I was NOT about to be outdone by HER! With that as motivation I found that with practice I could get over some of my hang ups. It got to the point I could spit discreetly enough, and if I was extra aroused I could *sometimes* swallow. 

Add in some mania and hysterical bonding and I'm over most of it, though there is still a strong gag reflex I try to hide. Sometimes I just can't handle it, or it will hit my throat is such a way as to make me gag. It seems my gag reflex is directly tied to how turned on I am at the moment. I'm very interested in the fact another poster said gag reflex could be overcome, that's great! Gives me hope, lol.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

RandomDude said:


> So she'll be wiping off his cum on his T-shirt?


Yes. What, you've never done that? The clothes are going in the laundry at the end of the day anyway... 

C


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

Ok! I will try it again. But...if I swallow and throw up on him....I am coming back to yous guys!!


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

PBear said:


> Yes. What, you've never done that? The clothes are going in the laundry at the end of the day anyway...
> C


Nah, I would be pretty annoyed if my wife uses my own T-shirt to wipe my cum off her tongue/mouth lol



trigirl said:


> Ok! I will try it again. But...if I swallow and throw up on him....I am coming back to yous guys!!


Remember to take pictures


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

2ntnuf said:


> Not swallowing is a personal thing which varies for everyone. I have to say, it is not a deal breaker, but it does hurt my feelings because it makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. Of course, that is how I look at everything, but I bet I'm not alone if we were all being perfectly honest.


^^^^^ makes me sad. Sorry. 
And, I would never want him to feel rejected...EVER!


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I feel pretty sorry for any guy that is required to pull out just at the point where all they want to do is push in further


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Hmmm, on that note... trigirl how do you find the taste?


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## humanbecoming (Mar 14, 2012)

I could care less. Nothing more frustrating than getting right to the finish, and have her pull it out and go manual. I mean, yeah, it's still good, but not AS good.


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

Dollystanford said:


> I feel pretty sorry for any guy is is required to pull out just at the point where all they want to do is push in further


I never make him pull out. I just hold it in my mouth and go spit.


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

RandomDude said:


> Hmmm, on that note... trigirl how do you find the taste?


Icky!


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Reminds me of a joke..................

What kind of bird doesn't get pregnant?

a SWALLOW!


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

This question is kinda like asking, "chocolate chip or macademia nut" when offering a cookie.

Cookies are yummy.

Cumming is nice even if she doesn't let you go in her mouth. Cumming in her mouth is even better. Her swallowing is just unbelieveably hot (assuming she can do so without making disgusted faces or gags).

Don't know why, just is.

While I don't imagine its pleasant, I would guess its more mental than pure taste/texture. Psych yourself up for it!

When I was a teenager, I thought going down on a girl tasted nasty... I basically bucked up and went at it with enthusiasm anyway. Today I down right LIKE the taste.


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## roostr (Oct 20, 2012)

Personally, I would never expect my wife to swallow it, not saying I wouldnt mind either, lol. I would be way more than happy just to finish in her mouth, if she were to immediately let if fall out back onto me I would be completely satisfied with that, I might even get more turned on by that than her swallowing it, which she never would anyway.....grrrrrrr


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

trigirl said:


> Icky!


The trick girls have told me is that they get it down the hatch before the consistency and taste kick in... but also that it becomes more bearable with experience.

Oh, and one girl I dated told me to drink pinneapple juice. I can't describe how much I liked pinneapple juice afterward or how hot it was when she said "wow, that wasn't bad... I might have to come back for seconds."

Its a turn on just remembering it.


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## trigirl (Feb 7, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> The trick girls have told me is that they get it down the hatch before the consistency and taste kick in... but also that it becomes more bearable with experience.
> 
> Oh, and one girl I dated told me to drink pinneapple juice. I can't describe how much I liked pinneapple juice afterward or how hot it was when she said "wow, that wasn't bad... I might have to come back for seconds."
> 
> Its a turn on just remembering it.


I suppose I can practice with oysters???


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

swallow half and let the other half dribble down your chin....the best of both worlds!


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## Eros Turannos (Feb 4, 2013)

I love pineapple, we usually have some around, that's awesome! We'll have to try it. The taste varies, and usually isn't bad. It' the consistency of it.. just makes me think of mucus/snot.. that's the part I need to work on :/... can anyone think of something yummy that's the same consistency that I can imagine while it's happening? lol.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

trigirl said:


> Icky!


Balanced diet and health, show your husband this:
Sperm Taste - 10 Simple Tips For Better Tasting Semen

Personally I don't know if the list above works but we have found that having a balanced diet with fruits and vegetables does make a difference and she can normally tell when I'm sick due to the taste. My wife still swallows either way however as she's used to it, but I guess for someone who's not used to it maybe it will make it easier.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

trigirl said:


> I suppose I can practice is oysters???


ha... maybe so. Mind over matter!!!

A more convenient alternative might be to do shots... even if its not pure liquor... something like a buttery nipple or a red headed sl*t or even a girl scout cookie.

Practice throwing it down without letting it linger in your mouth. The volume of a shot is going to be significantly more than the volume of ejaculate, and so if you can get the former gag-inducing liquid down you should be able to handle the latter.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

trigirl said:


> I suppose I can practice with oysters???


Or practice with your GU's. Just not while you're working out, cause puking then would suck.

C


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Eros Turannos said:


> I love pineapple, we usually have some around, that's awesome! We'll have to try it. The taste varies, and usually isn't bad. It' the consistency of it.. just makes me think of mucus/snot.. that's the part I need to work on :/... can anyone think of something yummy that's the same consistency that I can imagine while it's happening? lol.


Pinneapple juice just plain works as far as the taste goes... or so I'm told. lol I used to drink two glasses a day... ya know, just in case. 

hmm... warm jello? kinda liquid gooey? lol


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## Eros Turannos (Feb 4, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Pinneapple juice just plain works as far as the taste goes... or so I'm told. lol I used to drink two glasses a day... ya know, just in case.
> 
> hmm... warm jello? kinda liquid gooey? lol


Just my luck I hate Jello too.. lol. I think maybe I just need to desensitize myself to it.. I'm sure my husband wouldn't complain about my practicing on him..


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

red meat, beer and lot of cigs maybe a little asparaguess....now you got a full body flavor.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

btw... I have to give serious props to you trigirl. If I knew my girl was going all out trying to swallow my cum I would be ecstatic and blown away (pun intended).


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

The beer and cigs are definite contributors to a nasty tasty, especially when hungover apparently.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Eros Turannos said:


> I'm sure my husband wouldn't complain about my practicing on him..


lmao!


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> Balanced diet and health, show your husband this:
> Sperm Taste - 10 Simple Tips For Better Tasting Semen


No wonder my hubby's sperm tastes like ass. He doesn't follow ANY of that.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

PBear said:


> Why? Trust me, my GF can squirt a whole lot more than I can... And I've also gone down on her right after "making a deposit", as well as making sure she gets a sloppy wet kiss after doing so. It's just body fluids... Not sure why so many people get hung up on it.
> 
> C


Would you swallow someones snot? I mean, it's just body fluids technically.

Some people don't mind, others do. It's no big deal but I do get why some have hangups over it.



trigirl said:


> From what I have heard here it is better to let him finish in my mouth. Better orgasm for him.


Yep, it is better. I equate a BJ where you finish outside the mouth as the same feeling as when you do the pull out method during sex. It still feels good, but not nearly as good as inside the mouth.



trigirl said:


> But I do like the idea about letting if fall back on him.


I honestly don't know why more women don't do this if they don't like swallowing or holding it in their mouth. Finishing inside the mouth feels so much better, yet this way the woman doesn't have to hold it in if she doesn't want to. It's a win-win I'd think.



RandomDude said:


> Nah, I would be pretty annoyed if my wife uses my own T-shirt to wipe my cum off her tongue/mouth lol


Man, I could think of a lot of things to complain about, but that aint one. Toss it in the laundry and get another one. The only time I'd complain about getting any of it on my clothes is if we were having a quick BJ in a public place where I'd have to wear the clothes after.



DvlsAdvc8 said:


> The volume of a shot is going to be significantly more than the volume of ejaculate, and so if you can get the former gag-inducing liquid down you should be able to handle the latter.


Not all guys are built the same. I started a thread here that get deleted by the mods, so I won't go into to much detail here, but it was asking about the volume of ejaculate that I have and it would appear my 'load' is more sizeable than most peoples. A fair bit more. I know I could easily beat the 'loving spoonful' measurement when I'm fully packing.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

@Hope

Well, time to rewrite the shopping list in that case 



> Man, I could think of a lot of things to complain about, but that aint one. Toss it in the laundry and get another one. The only time I'd complain about getting any of it on my clothes is if we were having a quick BJ in a public place where I'd have to wear the clothes after.


Heh, I guess I'm fussy with my clothes

Kinda like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8SwDtk5t8U

I'm kidding :rofl:


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Hmmm maybe swallowing and chasing it down with a margarita might help? Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

RandomDude said:


> @Hope
> 
> Well, time to rewrite the shopping list in that case


Yeah, well, *I* eat like that, for the most part. He does his own thing in the diet department.

*MY* sperm would taste yummy 

I did forward him that article though


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Hope1964 said:


> I did forward him that article though


If I was him, I'd likely have an orgasm from the fact you e-mailed me the article...


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> If I was him, I'd likely have an orgasm from the fact you e-mailed me the article...


:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

kingsfan said:


> If I was him, I'd likely have an orgasm from the fact you e-mailed me the article...


Good thing I sent it to his home email then and not his work one!


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## Eros Turannos (Feb 4, 2013)

Yeah.. I just served my hubby some pineapple... Now he says we should control test the theory LOL. Because you know, we have to keep testing every three hours to see when the pineapple kicks in..

In response to chasers, I usually keep something for me to drink close by and take a drink after giving oral. Is that offensive to some too? I asked my husband about it specifically and he said he didn't mind.


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> Now he says we should control test the theory LOL.


Lol, willing guinea pig, then again, most men would be I guess haha


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Eros Turannos said:


> Yeah.. I just served my hubby some pineapple... Now he says we should control test the theory LOL.


I support his thinking


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Lol I asked my spouse if he would be offended if I used a chaser... His response... "Hell no... I would just mention that I have enough for ten more margaritas if that were the case!"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Gaia said:


> Lol I asked my spouse if he would be offended if I used a chaser... His response... "Hell no... I would just mention that I have enough for ten more margaritas if that were the case!"
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Expect there to be enough for 100 after the next shopping trip he makes.


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## Hope1964 (Sep 26, 2011)

Eros Turannos said:


> we have to keep testing every three hours to see when the pineapple kicks in..


Oooo, I bet I could get him to eat some pineapple if I presented it as an experiment like this!! Thanks for the idea 



Gaia said:


> Lol I asked my spouse if he would be offended if I used a chaser... His response... "Hell no... I would just mention that I have enough for ten more margaritas if that were the case!"


Another idea I just may borrow..............


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## Hortensia (Feb 1, 2013)

To swallow 
I heard someone saying that to spit is like rejecting him, his essence. To swallow, that says that you accept all of him, and there is nothing about him that you find repugnant. 
Now, thing is how much you really want to please him
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Code-Welder (Dec 17, 2012)

trigirl said:


> So does it offend you if we don't swallow???


My wife use to wait till I was totally done and then did the same thing you have mentioned. For me just staying on it was good enough. Some of the guys think swallowing is hot, does really matter to me.

I would be happy to get any kind these days.
I bet your hubby does not care either way.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Expect there to be enough for 100 after the next shopping trip he makes.


Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Not all guys are built the same. I started a thread here that get deleted by the mods, so I won't go into to much detail here, but it was asking about the volume of ejaculate that I have and it would appear my 'load' is more sizeable than most peoples. A fair bit more. I know I could easily beat the 'loving spoonful' measurement when I'm fully packing.


lol its an exceptionally rare few who are going to fill a shot glass. A lot of guys think they have huge loads... I know I did... until one girl had me go in a shot glass (long story, don't ask).

I was kinda disappointed in myself! lol


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

My biggest issue with swallowing is reconciling it against the fact I am a vegetarian 

But seriously my partner had an ex that told him it was gross to swallow and so she spat it out, he was offended and I understand why.

I swallow but then again I may be a bit weird in that I actually like his taste.


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## Davelli0331 (Apr 29, 2011)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> until one girl had me go in a shot glass


FTW


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Holland said:


> My biggest issue with swallowing is reconciling it against the fact I am a vegetarian


:rofl: That really made me laugh.


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## Caribvistors (Jan 13, 2013)

When we were dating as teenagers my then gf who is now my wife began swallowing from the very first time without any suggestion from me. She has always swallowed and I respect her for it. To me it feels a lot better then her jumping up, going into the bathroom and spitting it out.

BTW - I was the first boy that she ever had any sexual experience with and in those days girls never talked about what they did with boyfriends, so I have no idea what made her swallow that evening in my car, unless it was just felt natural to her.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

To swallow, or to spit, that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mouth to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of semen,
And by spitting, end them.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

My Mrs when finishing me off with oral has always wanted me to ejaculate in her mouth with her swallowing every freaking drop !!! She says it's her " just reward " for a job well done ......... who am i to disappoint her hmmmm ???


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

2ntnuf said:


> True story:
> 
> Back in the eighties when I was in my twenties and married, my first XW and I had friends with a daughter around nineteen or so. the daughter met this guy and was quickly taken with his looks and demeanor. The daughter went to her mom and asked what to do with it when she was giving a bj. Her mom replied, "It's pure protien. Just swallow it." The mom told us this. Who knows. Maybe it was a joke. Funny though.


Well there you go, a good dietary supplement.


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## hljoo0 (Feb 8, 2013)

Not me personally. I consider an oral finish this really wonderful, erotic way that my W shares herself with me. She doesn't do it all the time, but for me, that makes it more special.

Given that, it doesn't bug me if she swallows or not. It can be really erotic if she does, but for me, it's the act of the finish that I find hot.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Mr. Pink doesn't mind if I don't swallow. I don't really like the taste or consistency, so I try to give completed BJs in the shower, where letting it dribble out of my mouth is a non issue. I go down all the time and like doing that, but I am too selfish to give up such a beautiful erection by not putting it where I NEED it to be.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Never experienced either, so I guess I'm hard pressed to have a preference.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

RandomDude said:


> Nah, I would be pretty annoyed if my wife uses my own T-shirt to wipe my cum off her tongue/mouth lol


Really? REALLY???

'Cause if that were really the problem, there'd be a bag of 100 fresh, new, unopened t-shirts in the closet.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Eros Turannos said:


> I love pineapple, we usually have some around, that's awesome! We'll have to try it. The taste varies, and usually isn't bad. It' the consistency of it.. just makes me think of mucus/snot.. that's the part I need to work on :/... can anyone think of something yummy that's the same consistency that I can imagine while it's happening? lol.


Tapioca.


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## homebuilder (Aug 25, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> Would you swallow someones snot? I mean, it's just body fluids technically.
> 
> Some people don't mind, others do. It's no big deal but I do get why some have hangups over it.
> 
> ...



I have a tremendous volume and a powerful shot which is why the wife can't let me finish in her mouth. I don't think many women would be able to handle my volume or force. When the wife has tried it always his the back of her throat and triggers her gag reflex
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

homebuilder said:


> I have a tremendous volume and a powerful shot which is why the wife can't let me finish in her mouth. I don't think many women would be able to handle my volume or force. When the wife has tried it always his the back of her throat and triggers her gag reflex
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Uh oh. This isn't going to turn into a d*ck swinging contest, is it? In the current context, I'm pretty sure I don't want to see that.


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Cletus said:


> Uh oh. This isn't going to turn into a d*ck swinging contest, is it? In the current context, I'm pretty sure I don't want to see that.


:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

First time my wife to be gave me a BJ, I was about to orgasm and I asked her, want me out of your mouth? She said, no, so I always orgasm in her mouth and she always swallows.

I have asked her what can I do to make it better?

She told me have her fav drink nearby, DONE!!!

She also likes it when she can rest her head on my abs and that she has control and my hands are no were near her head, DONE!!!

She is getting really great at BJ's now, the sounds she makes, saliva, tongue, if I want it deeper, she lets me in deeper, really great BJ's. Right after she swallows, there's her Almond Milk in a glass nearby.

Works for her pretty good.


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## Layla79 (Feb 6, 2013)

Omgitsjoe said:


> My Mrs when finishing me off with oral has always wanted me to ejaculate in her mouth with her swallowing every freaking drop !!! She says it's her " just reward " for a job well done ......... who am i to disappoint her hmmmm ???


Yep, I feel the same way! 
It lets me know that I did an excellent job at pleasing him, and getting that "reward" makes me feel like a total sex goddess. Besides, I was taught to never let good things go to waste.


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## Quantmflux (Feb 6, 2013)

homebuilder said:


> I have a tremendous volume and a powerful shot which is why the wife can't let me finish in her mouth. I don't think many women would be able to handle my volume or force. When the wife has tried it always his the back of her throat and triggers her gag reflex
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She should compare notes with Lois Lane! I suspect she figured out a workable solution since that relationship has worked for like 70 years!

Personally Im not offended... But I generally feel sympathy for the woman that has to go down there as it is so.... :rofl:

I've never really liked oral for whatever reason so it's been tricky to get off that way anyway. The one or two times Ive experienced the "full 9 yards" were cool though, I will admit


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

> Uh oh. This isn't going to turn into a d*ck swinging contest, is it? In the current context, I'm pretty sure I don't want to see that.


Well, when I haven't had sex for a week, and my wife teases me all day... then I'm going to have a bucket load of man juice. But with sex 3x a day, it was like... 1 or 2 bursts. And by the end of the day it's clear liquid lol


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## Gseries (Jan 6, 2013)

Layla79 said:


> Yep, I feel the same way!
> It lets me know that I did an excellent job at pleasing him, and getting that "reward" makes me feel like a total sex goddess. Besides, I was taught to never let good things go to waste.


I can never finish from oral. My W gets disappointed about this, and I never understood why. So swallow or spit is rarely an issue.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gseries (Jan 6, 2013)

Probably the good girl thing. But to me its lack of friction sorry if that's TMI.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cowboy1 (Nov 22, 2012)

I've never seen a forum "blow up" so fast. But seriously, it's kind of depressing because I've almost been conditioned to not finish during a BJ. On my 5th anniversary I got so drunk that I got the nerve to ask her to swallow. She was so drunk, she agreed. Then, of course, I was too drunk to finish. What a bummer, blew my one chance. It still remains my one unfullfilled fantasy.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

No doesn't offend me. But the hot factor goes out the window.


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

cowboy1 said:


> I've never seen a forum "blow up" so fast.


I'll say. I love how threads like this can manage to stay alive yet I start thread regarding sex positions and it gets deleted. Glad TAM has their priorities together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Eros Turannos (Feb 4, 2013)

Layla79 said:


> Yep, I feel the same way!
> It lets me know that I did an excellent job at pleasing him, and getting that "reward" makes me feel like a total sex goddess. Besides, I was taught to never let good things go to waste.


Do you give lessons on how to swallow better? lol.. Seriously, nothing I can do seems to get me over the whole "gross" factor.. it's like it's freaking ingrained in me and I hate it  I'll try to think of it as a reward next time, or just psych myself up even more I guess.. thinking of even trying hypnosis.. no joke


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

homebuilder said:


> I have a tremendous volume and a powerful shot which is why the wife can't let me finish in her mouth. I don't think many women would be able to handle my volume or force. When the wife has tried it always his the back of her throat and triggers her gag reflex
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I hear you. One time I was getting a BJ and my fiancee, who doesn't like to let me go in her mouth, pulled away as I was going. I hit the wall behind my head, lol. We still laugh about that.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Eros Turannos said:


> Do you give lessons on how to swallow better? lol.. Seriously, nothing I can do seems to get me over the whole "gross" factor.. it's like it's freaking ingrained in me and I hate it  I'll try to think of it as a reward next time, or just psych myself up even more I guess.. thinking of even trying hypnosis.. no joke


So it is a mental thing then? I guess it is easier said than done but just try and relax about the whole thing, don't build it up to be such a big deal in your mind.
When you have done it the first time, the second time will be easier.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

For the ones that say they can't get over the ewww factor. Some men have very acidic systems so it can be a little acidic tasting. My husband has this issue ... a nice glass of wine ahead of time and I don't notice it as much. Also for the "hit the back of the throat" guy...if she puts her tongue in front right befor it will prevent that...plus my husband says it really feels good. I don't understand the hesitancy. ..for us it is our favorite forplay!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

not swallowing sucks!!!! lol can't compare. I like finishing on other parts of her body or in her more but a good swallow is heavenly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD (Sep 2, 2012)

trigirl said:


> So does it offend you if we don't swallow???


It is a preference, not a requirement.


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## IndyTMI (Oct 26, 2012)

My wife had given very few BJ's to even be aware of this, until I masturbated in front of her recently and she actually saw the volume that I churned up.
She said, "You're not shooting that off in my mouth! I'm definitely not swallowing that!"
I was able to convince her that it would be OK to shoot it in her mouth and she can let it drool out, rather than swallowing it.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

I don;t really care, BUT the hottest, sexiest thing my wide ever said to me was "I can still feel a little of you trickling down my throat". Super sexy!!!!!:smthumbup:


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

My wife doesn't like to swallow because of the consistency of my semen. Plus, I cum a healthy amount. 

We do something a bit different- she will lick, suck and nibble on the underside of my penis (stimulating the frenulum) while stroking the shaft until I cum, that way it doesn't go directly into her mouth. If it does, she jumps up and runs to the bathroom, frantically spitting it off her tongue. While, cumming into her mouth feels sensational, I've just accepted that swallowing is not for her. If I asked, she would let me cum into her mouth, but the visual of her running to the bathroom, treating my cum like hydrochloric acid kills the moment. Furthermore, when I cum and she has to adjust to prepare for the initial burst, all of that inconsistent movement and fidgeting around makes my orgasm fizzle. To be honest, I'd rather get a BJ as a warm-up and then settle for a HJ finish (with lotion) for a better, more complete orgasm.

Finally, it's not the end of the world, but it's smidge disappointing that she doesn't swallow because when I go down on her and her juices get all over my face and into my mouth, I don't freak out.


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## terrence4159 (Feb 3, 2013)

would it bother a woman if a guy just got done down there and got up and went and rinsed and spit? just saying


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## Jax10 (Oct 22, 2012)

Totally honest. I prefer that she swallows. It's pretty awesome that she does. And later when I'm thinking about the sex we had, it is those type of things I think of the most. Does that make sense? 

But I am in the camp of "thank you for the attention down there and that way." So there is little downside to the no swallow/spit thing. In the mouth is good in and of itself too.


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## Eros Turannos (Feb 4, 2013)

Holland said:


> So it is a mental thing then? I guess it is easier said than done but just try and relax about the whole thing, don't build it up to be such a big deal in your mind.
> When you have done it the first time, the second time will be easier.


I've done it a few times, usually it goes something like halfway through and I gag. There was one time I was able to adjust my suction and was able to swallow as he was cumming, but he said the pressure on his head was too much . It was a lot better for me though to swallow as it was happening. I keep trying and on average it's slowly getting easier, but there are still some pretty drastic ups and downs according to my level of arousal. I guess I need more practice transitioning from my normal sucking method (which he loves, so I don't want to change outright) to one where I'm able to swallow at the same time, and not put too much pressure on his head... ~sigh~ and of course all this goes out the window if we do 69 because I'm not oriented the right way.. lol.


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## suspiciousOfPeople (Sep 5, 2012)

too swallow or spit?!?!?! I'd just be happy with it in her mouth!


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## JoeHenderson (Oct 3, 2011)

suspiciousOfPeople said:


> too swallow or spit?!?!?! I'd just be happy with it in her mouth!


Exactly what I was going to post! lol


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

terrence4159 said:


> would it bother a woman if a guy just got done down there and got up and went and rinsed and spit? just saying


:lol: Well, the errant pube that gets stuck at the back of your throat – sometimes you gotta’ gargle to get them out and no I wouldn’t suffer through that just to make the Ms. feel OK.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

You folks on these threads realize that you're killing most of us here, right?

Threads with topics like

_
I hate it when she won't let me hold her head in my lap while getting a hummer on the drive home. 

Do you find it better to have HBO or Showtime on the TV the fourth time you have sex on a Saturday?

My wife orgasms so hard every night I'm looking for tax credits to offset the cost of sound-proofing our bedroom.
_

should come with a warning label. They are NOT helping my marriage!


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Eros Turannos said:


> I've done it a few times, usually it goes something like halfway through and I gag. There was one time I was able to adjust my suction and was able to swallow as he was cumming, but he said the pressure on his head was too much . It was a lot better for me though to swallow as it was happening. I keep trying and on average it's slowly getting easier, but there are still some pretty drastic ups and downs according to my level of arousal. I guess I need more practice transitioning from my normal sucking method (which he loves, so I don't want to change outright) to one where I'm able to swallow at the same time, and not put too much pressure on his head... ~sigh~ and of course all this goes out the window if we do 69 because I'm not oriented the right way.. lol.


Without reading back, sorry if you have already said this or not but have you tried not swallowing but just let it run out of your mouth while finishing the job? At least this way he can get the sensation of cumming in your mouth.

I did read somewhere that mints or brushing your teeth to get the mint taste in your mouth first can help.


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

Eros Turannos said:


> ~sigh~ and of course all this goes out the window if we do 69 because I'm not oriented the right way.. lol.


Hmm. 69 position (or at least my wife's head coming from that direction) seems to be the best orientation for deep throating/swallowing for her. Everything lines up right.


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## Eros Turannos (Feb 4, 2013)

OhhShiney said:


> Hmm. 69 position (or at least my wife's head coming from that direction) seems to be the best orientation for deep throating/swallowing for her. Everything lines up right.


I can't employ my tongue the right way with 69, never tried the deep throat since I have issues with gagging.. Wouldn't hurt to practice though.. I saw one poster here suggest practicing getting over a gag reflex, so if it can be done I'd love to try.. lol Things seem to line up nicely for me if I'm in front of him, just my personal preference I guess. I'm not a big fan of 69 as it is really, I'm not good at multitasking, lol. I tend to hyper-focus rather..


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Eros Turannos said:


> I'm not a big fan of 69 as it is really, I'm not good at multitasking, lol. I tend to hyper-focus rather..


I agree, its like getting and giving subpar oral because you can't concentrate on the feelings you're getting, and are being disturbed from the job you're doing by the feelings you're getting. lol

One thing at at time!! :smthumbup:


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## homebuilder (Aug 25, 2012)

On the extremely rare times I get to engage in 69 I love it tremendoulsy. It's like my two favorite things happening at once

:smthumbup:


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

For me, the 69 position is great, and it's our go-to position. The position of her mouth allows for less contact with the teeth and deeper fellating. 

I've had so many BJ's over the years that I don't think I could cum from oral stimulation alone; it feels great, but I'm kind of numb to it.


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## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

Swallowing is just better.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

coupdegrace said:


> For me, the 69 position is great, and it's our go-to position. The position of her mouth allows for less contact with the teeth and deeper fellating.
> 
> I've had so many BJ's over the years that I don't think I could cum from oral stimulation alone; it feels great, but I'm kind of numb to it.


lol I'm just the opposite but for the same reason.

Too many bjs and it becomes a real endeavor to cum w PIV. The vag just can't compete with a mouth and two hands! I've had to declare a bj moratorium before to get myself right.


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## Cruise321 (Jan 19, 2013)

Swallowing is awesome, it is the ultimate!

Now, for girls who don't want to swallow - have your guy lay back on the bed with his legs hanging over. Tell him you are going to swallow for him. When he comes, have him relax with his eyes closed and enjoy the orgasm, and you wipe his **** off with a towel. While doing this, politely and silently put your mouth to the towel and spit into the towel. Then tell him you swallowed for him and it was great. Simple case of "don't ask, don't tell". In fact, if he comes in your mouth you WILL swallow some. With practice you will swallow more and more.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Cruise321 said:


> Swallowing is awesome, it is the ultimate!
> 
> Now, for girls who don't want to swallow - have your guy lay back on the bed with his legs hanging over. Tell him you are going to swallow for him. When he comes, have him relax with his eyes closed and enjoy the orgasm, and you wipe his **** off with a towel. While doing this, politely and silently put your mouth to the towel and spit into the towel. Then tell him you swallowed for him and it was great. Simple case of "don't ask, don't tell". In fact, if he comes in your mouth you WILL swallow some. With practice you will swallow more and more.


How is deceiving him an appropriate thing to do?


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## Cruise321 (Jan 19, 2013)

Tell him you swallowed as much as you can, that is the truth.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

Just do what my wife and I do.

After she gives me a BJ and swallows, I always have her favorite drink nearby. She really appreciates this and it's my way of trying to make it better. Communication is key. And I don't expect a BJ every day. Only during her time of the month, maybe 2x.

She also told me that having a lot of fruit 24 before the BJ makes it taste almost sweet and cut out the protein, beer, etc.

For those ladies who won't swallow for their man, think of it this way. When he gives you oral, a lot of the time it doesn't smell so great down there but we still do it anyway and give you orgasms with that all over our tongue, lips and face. Not pleasant but we love our women so we do it. Is it so different for a woman to give her man she loves a BJ and swallow? It's compromise, 50 / 50.......and you can have your fav drink immediately afterwards. And giving a BJ there is no odor on your face, nose, lips, etc....


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Swallow ;-)


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

What is this swallow or spit you speak of? And when is it suppose to be happening?


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

Cruise321 said:


> Swallowing is awesome, it is the ultimate!
> 
> Now, for girls who don't want to swallow - have your guy lay back on the bed with his legs hanging over. Tell him you are going to swallow for him. When he comes, have him relax with his eyes closed and enjoy the orgasm, and you wipe his **** off with a towel. While doing this, politely and silently put your mouth to the towel and spit into the towel. Then tell him you swallowed for him and it was great. Simple case of "don't ask, don't tell". In fact, if he comes in your mouth you WILL swallow some. With practice you will swallow more and more.


That doesn't work. Besides, most guys don't care about the swallowing factor, they just want a powerful orgasm, and this is achieved by orgasming in the girl's mouth. It doesn't necessarily mean she has to swallow.


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

Cruise321 said:


> While doing this, politely and silently put your mouth to the towel and spit into the towel. Then tell him you swallowed for him and it was great. Simple case of "don't ask, don't tell".


You're suggesting to concoct an elaborate lie.

It's not a simple case of "don't ask don't tell" it's a simple case of a deceitful lie.

Not good.


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## ClimbingTheWalls (Feb 16, 2013)

CuddleBug said:


> Just do what my wife and I do.
> 
> After she gives me a BJ and swallows, I always have her favorite drink nearby. She really appreciates this and it's my way of trying to make it better. Communication is key. And I don't expect a BJ every day. Only during her time of the month, maybe 2x.
> 
> ...


I don't know. That last paragraph makes me feel kind of sad. I get compromise and all that, but I actually wouldn't want a guy enduring giving me oral sex in return for me enduring giving him a blow job. I think that whatever you are doing really ought to be mutually satisfying, at least to some extent.

I don't smell bad down there. Well, I don't think so. In fact I really like the smell and taste of myself and love kissing after a man has been giving me oral. But if a man did not like the smell/taste and I could not address the issue then I really think I'd rather he not suffer giving me oral.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

gbrad said:


> What is this swallow or spit you speak of? And when is it suppose to be happening?


lol

sorry.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

coupdegrace said:


> That doesn't work. Besides, most guys don't care about the swallowing factor, they just want a powerful orgasm, and this is achieved by orgasming in the girl's mouth. It doesn't necessarily mean she has to swallow.


Speak for yourself.  Swallowing means a hellofa lot more than just a powerful orgasm.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

I think swallowing definitely makes a difference in how powerful the orgasm is! If you are pulling it out quickly right at that point I believe it does change it. But Im a girl, what do I know?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

The orgasm is different, yes. But it's the emotional connection, the fact that she's never done it for anyone else, the pure selflessness of it, the pure feeling of acceptance that puts it in a whole other category. It goes WAY beyond the physical sensation of it.


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## Happyquest (Apr 21, 2009)

ClimbingTheWalls said:


> I don't know. That last paragraph makes me feel kind of sad. I get compromise and all that, but I actually wouldn't want a guy enduring giving me oral sex in return for me enduring giving him a blow job. I think that whatever you are doing really ought to be mutually satisfying, at least to some extent.
> 
> I don't smell bad down there. Well, I don't think so. In fact I really like the smell and taste of myself and love kissing after a man has been giving me oral. But if a man did not like the smell/taste and I could not address the issue then I really think I'd rather he not suffer giving me oral.


I actually love the taste of a woman. but my wife will not kiss me after I have been going down on her. Its a shame but I understand it because she always trys to kiss me after she has down the same for me.

We both laugh because over the years it has become a challenge to get the other to taste themselves.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Happyquest said:


> I actually love the taste of a woman. but my wife will not kiss me after I have been going down on her. Its a shame but I understand it because she always trys to kiss me after she has down the same for me.
> 
> We both laugh because over the years it has become a challenge to get the other to taste themselves.


My wife is kind of the same. She will kiss me though, if I "take her" and kiss her in a dominant way. But no oral after I've been inside her. She thinks tasting herself is gross. Kind of makes me sad because I don't find it gross at all.


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> My wife is kind of the same. She will kiss me though, if I "take her" and kiss her in a dominant way. But no oral after I've been inside her. She thinks tasting herself is gross. Kind of makes me sad because I don't find it gross at all.


Do you like to taste yourself after she's given you a BJ?

I sure don't.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

I've been with women who tried to kiss me with... uh... me... all over their lips. None has succeeded. Can't say I understand their fascination but I laughed it off.

On the other hand I've been with women who REALLY wanted to kiss me after I was down on them. That was pretty hot so maybe I can see where they're coming from... but I can't say I'm cool with it in reverse. lol


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

LoriC said:


> I think swallowing definitely makes a difference in how powerful the orgasm is! If you are pulling it out quickly right at that point I believe it does change it. But Im a girl, what do I know?


To me, I couldn't care less if she swallows or spits or lets it drool out. Doesn't make a difference on the orgasm. 

What does make a difference is her pulling away just when I get to the point of orgasm. The reason I'm orgasming is because her mouth feels so good, then she pulls it away when I orgasm. It really does take away from the orgasm when that happens.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

Swallow.

Oh wait Im supposed to complain about this damn topic being brought up again, right?

But seriously, this has likely been a topic on this and other boards, how many times? And some women still need to ask. Its not the womens fault either. Its guys who cant admit that deep down they want their wives/gfs to suck on their c#@cks like they are the tastiest treat ever, and they want them to crave that magical explosion at the end.

Which is great as long as that guy then desires to eat some [email protected] like its the tastiest treat ever too. :smthumbup:


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

totamm said:


> Do you like to taste yourself after she's given you a BJ?
> 
> I sure don't.


Yes. No problem at all.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

Middle of Everything said:


> Which is great as long as that guy then desires to eat some [email protected] like its the tastiest treat ever too. :smthumbup:


It is.


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## MrHappy (Oct 23, 2008)

From worst to best. No BJ, spitter, dribbler, swallower, devourer, like a kitten devours milk.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> It is.


Agreed. 

Its just sad that swallowing and bj's have such a bad reputation.

Too many a$$holes who use them to get their rocks off from women they are taking advantage of with the whole "its not really sex, just a bj" crap.

Then nice guys and husbands feel the need to not be that guy and minimize what a great experience it is. 

Screw that. Life is too short, and at least in your eyes your wife should be too hot to waste time with crap like that.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

ClimbingTheWalls said:


> I don't know. That last paragraph makes me feel kind of sad. I get compromise and all that, but I actually wouldn't want a guy enduring giving me oral sex in return for me enduring giving him a blow job. I think that whatever you are doing really ought to be mutually satisfying, at least to some extent.
> 
> I don't smell bad down there. Well, I don't think so. In fact I really like the smell and taste of myself and love kissing after a man has been giving me oral. But if a man did not like the smell/taste and I could not address the issue then I really think I'd rather he not suffer giving me oral.


There have been times my wife definitely didn't smell so good but I went down on her anyway until orgasm. I just breath through my mouth, come up for air now and then. I would never tell her she smelsl because that wouldn't help her self esteem.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

I guess this thread isn't about chewin' tobacco.

Although it sounds like the answer is the same for many.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> lol
> 
> sorry.


My wife thinks that a bj is simply sucking. Never actually finishes the job.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

gbrad said:


> My wife thinks that a bj is simply sucking. Never actually finishes the job.


My wife thinks that a bj simply sucks. Never actually starts the job.

For me, the question of swallowing or spitting has more to do with my teeth were I to ask.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

In the first 19 years of our marriage I got oral sex twice. Both times were 2 minute bj's, not to completion. They were basically foreplay.

Now I get it as foreplay most times that we have sex. And maybe once per month to completion. She is conflicted about doing it every time. She seems to enjoy it, but philosophically thinks that it should be more rare. But I'm at the point in my life that I find it difficult to orgasm and even sometimes to get fully hard without foreplay, so she's starting to learn that rationing the oral is a bad idea.


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

Cletus said:


> My wife thinks that a bj simply sucks. Never actually starts the job.
> 
> For me, the question of swallowing or spitting has more to do with my teeth were I to ask.


Why would YOUR teeth fit into the equation of a BJ?


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

totamm said:


> Why would YOUR teeth fit into the equation of a BJ?


Guess I was too oblique. They'd have been knocked loose in the aftermath of the request. Which, as foreplay goes, might not be all bad.


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

Cletus said:


> Guess I was too oblique. They'd have been knocked loose in the aftermath of the request. Which, as foreplay goes, might not be all bad.


Whew.

Scared me there for a second.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

totamm said:


> Whew.
> 
> Scared me there for a second.


C'mon - if you could get your own teeth involved in your own blowjob, you tellin' me you wouldn't try it?

I'm coming through the internet and choking anyone who posts a picture of their dentures on the end of their dong.


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

Cletus said:


> C'mon - if you could get your own teeth involved in your own blowjob, you tellin' me you wouldn't try it?


If I could reach I'd never leave the house.


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> There have been times my wife definitely didn't smell so good but I went down on her anyway until orgasm. I just breath through my mouth, come up for air now and then. I would never tell her she smelsl because that wouldn't help her self esteem.


Oh, man! I could tell you stories from past relationships... There's nothing like 69'ing someone with a smelly butthole. I didn't want to hurt the girl's feelings, but the smell was keeping me from breathing properly, thus stopping the oxygen to my brain. If ever there was a time for an oxygen mask to come down from the ceiling, that was it. I thought I was going to pass out!


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## totamm (May 1, 2012)

MrHappy said:


> From worst to best. No BJ, spitter, dribbler, swallower, devourer, like a kitten devours milk.


You left out "facial acceptor". That goes in between swallower and devourer.


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## Swoosh (Feb 20, 2013)

SpinDaddy said:


> :lol: Well, the errant pube that gets stuck at the back of your throat – sometimes you gotta’ gargle to get them out and no I wouldn’t suffer through that just to make the Ms. feel OK.


I make sure to shave before some oral action, I sure do not want to eat a pube.

I love for her to swallow.


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## cent130130 (Nov 6, 2011)

Not offensive without the swallow, just sub-optimal, i.e. not as pleasurable, picture your man stopping what he is doing just before you reach orgasm. The hand is a poor substitute for the mouth.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

Swallow its much better

I don't understand the reason against it. But as long as I can finish in her mouth its good, if she was to spit that's not horrible. I've heard that some women refuse a man to finish in her mouth, EVEN MARRIED WOMEN. That shocks me and sounds like a marriage I would NOT be a part of. 

If she was to spit it would not be horrible, she did at first early in our relationship, but I knew she'd eventually give into swallowing. It's not that I forced her, its just when you grow old with someone and have time to talk and express your feelings you can get past "hurdles". When two people are married I don't think many sexual things should be viewed as "gross" or off the table (except pain or another person). We are a perfect match though, so I know there is nothing we are afraid to share with each other. My wife never swallowed until she was with me, so that makes me feel extra special, I can totally understand young early relationships, and the woman being against, it, but in a marriage I don't see why.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

I'm really impressed by some of the men in here. I could not be married, let alone for a long time or with someone who refuses to give blowjobs, or gives them out of "spite" in order to "just please me". I could not imagine how horrible that would feel, I would not even want head if my wife only gave it 2x a year, and did it with resentment. 

That is not a marriage id be in at all. Divorce papers would be served 

Could you imagine the outrage if a woman posted a thread in which her man deprived her of pleasure only to do it in a resentful manner?

Exactly. 

Holding resentment and acting like you are too good to please your spouse is NOT TRUE LOVE and is NOT a good marriage.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

I would love to give my wife the opportunity to choose for herself. Clue it ain't going to happen.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Goldmember357 said:


> I'm really impressed by some of the men in here. I could not be married, let alone for a long time or with someone who refuses to give blowjobs, or gives them out of "spite" in order to "just please me". I could not imagine how horrible that would feel, I would not even want head if my wife only gave it 2x a year, and did it with resentment.
> 
> That is not a marriage id be in at all. Divorce papers would be served
> 
> ...


So 3 or 4 BJ's a year would not be good enough for you? What if everything else in the marriage were great?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

We'll, my wifee to be at that time, engaged, gave me her first BJ and when I was close to orgasm, I told her, I'm about to go, want me to pull out? She then told me, no, its okay, in my mouth and she swallows every time. I've done what I can to make the experience better for her by having her fav drink nearby, she has control, so my hands are not on her head and she's comfy. She doesn't like the taste but knows I love BJ's, so does them for me and always swallows. I would love to give her oral to orgasm often, but she is insecure and rarely lets me go down on her. I get a BJ maybe 2x month, were before we got married, BJ every day.......us guys having a lot of fruit 24 hours beforehand does sweeten the taste and no meats or beers.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

I don't understand why women do this? If it's something they like....well ok. Whatever. But from my understanding and my own experience, a man cumming in your mouth is pretty gross. Smells bad, tastes bad, feels bad.....so why do it? This does not make sense.
And why do men WANT to do it? Do they really not understand how awful it is, or do they just not care? Are they just that focused on themselves that they think women should just "get over it" and do it anyway?

It is a repugnant act. I think any man who wants it done ought to do it first, that is, swallow some of his own. I would expect that the requests would drop by an extremely large percentage.

The same is true for guys going down. If the sensory aspect is repulsive to you, DON'T DO IT. Don't ever put yourself in a position where you are doing something that is not pleasant or enjoyable during sex.I just really really don't understand people performing sex acts that they find disgusting or uncomfortable just because the other partner wants it. I'm baffled by it, frankly. It never occurred to me before coming to TAM so I am really hoping that its a small subset of people who do this.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

trigirl said:


> LOL...I do not go "scrub" my tongue or mouth. I spit.* I think oral on a woman is totally different.[/*QUOTE]
> 
> *Why is that?*
> 
> ...


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I don't understand why women do this? If it's something they like....well ok. Whatever. But from my understanding and my own experience, a man cumming in your mouth is pretty gross. Smells bad, tastes bad, feels bad.....so why do it? This does not make sense.
> And why do men WANT to do it? Do they really not understand how awful it is, or do they just not care? Are they just that focused on themselves that they think women should just "get over it" and do it anyway?
> 
> It is a repugnant act. I think any man who wants it done ought to do it first, that is, swallow some of his own. I would expect that the requests would drop by an extremely large percentage.
> ...


It's called LOVE. That's why. Try it sometime. Your might get some in return.  it's not about you. It's about your spouse.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I don't understand why women do this? If it's something they like....well ok. Whatever. But from my understanding and my own experience, a man cumming in your mouth is pretty gross. Smells bad, tastes bad, feels bad.....so why do it? This does not make sense.
> And why do men WANT to do it? Do they really not understand how awful it is, or do they just not care? Are they just that focused on themselves that they think women should just "get over it" and do it anyway?
> 
> It is a repugnant act. I think any man who wants it done ought to do it first, that is, swallow some of his own. I would expect that the requests would drop by an extremely large percentage.
> ...


What is so hard to understand about people doing things that they like or want to do? 
If you find it a repugnant act that is your view but all you really need to understand is that we are all different, some like it, some don't.

To me it does not smell bad, taste bad or feel bad, totally the opposite in fact.

Men want it because it feels good, simple. 

It is not a repugnant act for me, I get turned on by doing it, I love his feel and taste. I thrive on making him happy and giving him pleasure as he does with me. I actually find it a very loving thing to do.

If it is a forced act then yes that is wrong.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> It's called LOVE. That's why. Try it sometime. Your might get some in return.  it's not about you. It's about your spouse.


LOVE is a two way street. Why would someone who loves you want you to do something that made you uncomfortable? If men knew how awful it was, I really really hope this whole swallowing thing would just go away. They wouldn't dream of asking someone they loved to do something so gross. But then, that is my idealized version of a man. 

I guess it boils down to who is selfless first? It's a circular argument. "If you love me you will do this for me" vs "If you love me you won't ask" Who wins?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

It isn't awful. You may find it so and that is fine for you but saying things like "if men knew how awful it was" is not fine.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> LOVE is a two way street. Why would someone who loves you want you to do something that made you uncomfortable? If men knew how awful it was, I really really hope this whole swallowing thing would just go away. They wouldn't dream of asking someone they loved to do something so gross. But then, that is my idealized version of a man.
> 
> I guess it boils down to who is selfless first? It's a circular argument. "If you love me you will do this for me" vs "If you love me you won't ask" Who wins?


It's not circular at all. It's the other spouse first. You should always put you spouses needs first....always. Selfishness will lead to loneliness every time in the long run. Take from someone who put his needs first for the first 8 years of my marriage and it lead to her cheating and me waking up.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> It's called LOVE. That's why. Try it sometime. Your might get some in return.  it's not about you. It's about your spouse.


This comment will fall on deaf ears for Lady. She also feels NO emotional connection through sex whatsoever. She would never understand.

There is very little I wouldnt do for my H, because I Love him. I understand and agree with your comment 100%


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LoriC said:


> This comment will fall on deaf ears for Lady. She also feels NO emotional connection through sex whatsoever. She would never understand.
> 
> There is very little I wouldnt do for my H, because I Love him. I understand and agree with your comment 100%


She must know deep down her views are messy and don't work. Why else would she be here looking for answers?
I for one REALLY want her to find true love. The kind you would do ANYTHING with, too, and for... Without question.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I guess it boils down to who is selfless first? It's a circular argument. "If you love me you will do this for me" vs "If you love me you won't ask" Who wins?


Says someone on the selfish side of the question. On the selfless side of the question, you want to do that which your partner enjoys. They don't have to ask.

For me, its a matter of desire and acceptance. It makes me feel that she's totally into me in every way and would do anything for me... just as I do for someone I'm really into.

Its one thing if its something that will make you puke. Its another if its, "well, I don't like it, so I'm not going to do it." Some things I think you do not because YOU like it, but because THEY like it. Even if I don't like a particular act, whatever it may be, I really enjoy how much pleasure I'm giving her.

Its not circular at all. Its entirely giving.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Holland said:


> It isn't awful. You may find it so and that is fine for you but saying things like "if men knew how awful it was" is not fine.


Gay men know exactly what it is, and I doubt it causes any decline in swallowing among them.

Straight men aren't repulsed by it because its nasty, we're repulsed because we're not gay. I'm certainly not repulsed by a woman who squirts when I give head... even if its urine or something else... oh well. I've just made her lose control of herself and gave her a massive orgasm without breaking off and going "ew gross" (how unsexy is that??).

Ultimately that's what swallowing is about. Its not ending oral sex with "ew gross"... gag... spit... what have you. Rather, swallowing says "god I love what I just did to you". I want every bit of you.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> It's not circular at all. It's the other spouse first. You should always put you spouses needs first....always. .


That IS circular....if I put him first, then I do it, if he puts me first then he would never want me to.....so how can it possibly work? SOMEONE has to give up their need. I get the feeling on this thread that that someone should always be the woman. Go figure.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> That IS circular....if I put him first, then I do it, if he puts me first then he would never want me to.....so how can it possibly work? SOMEONE has to give up their need. I get the feeling on this thread that that someone should always be the woman. Go figure.


It's not a zero sum game. Not to give because you think it's giving up something is neither logical nor productive. Don't be mad. You are a woman and with that comes beauty and many other natural traits. Love it. The first officer is a wonderful and needed position. You can't deny your DNA.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

LoriC said:


> This comment will fall on deaf ears for Lady. * She also feels NO emotional connection through sex whatsoever*. She would never understand.
> 
> There is very little I wouldnt do for my H, because I Love him. I understand and agree with your comment 100%


No, I don't. That's probably why these discussions are so confusing to me. I'm interested in seeing how other people function, but more often than not I am dismayed at how strange it all seems to me. 

I love my husband. I love having sex with him. We have sex very frequently. I respect and admire my husband. But in no way do I feel compelled to do anything to or for him that violates my own personal feelings of dignity and self respect. And what is more, I expect the EXACT same thing from him. I don't want him touching me or doing anything to me that makes him feel bad or uncomfortable. How could I? HOW would that be loving? I don't care if he was giving me the most wonderful sensation in the universe....if it bothered him in anyway...I would NOT want it. To me anything else WOULD be selfish. How can my pleasure be more important than his comfort? :scratchhead: Orgasms are a dime a dozen...they don't really matter much. You'll have thousands over the course of your life. Forgoing that pleasure to show your partner how much you care for and respect them is infinitely more loving than demanding they do something they personally find disgusting.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> It's not a zero sum game. Not to give because you think it's giving up something is neither logical nor productive. Don't be mad. You are a woman and with that comes beauty and many other natural traits. Love it. The first officer is a wonderful and needed position. You can't deny your DNA.


ROFL, you trying to start something?:lol::rofl:


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

No. Just stating fact.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Lady:

In the early years in my marriage (married 22 years in a few weeks) I wasnt over the moon about blowjobs. So I didnt do it frequently. I have been awakened recently by my H and I having what would be considered a R recently. Where we learned how to really communicate with eachother again on many levels. That communication came into the bedroom. He loves BJ's and I Love oral from him on me. Neither one of us did this much for years in our marriage. So on discussing this with eachother we decided to really fix things in the bedroom by giving eachother what we wanted.

Now, he actually loved going down on me which I also did not know. Since we have been having sex 5 or more times a week, we are much more experimental than ever before. Now, I mentioned I wasnt crazy about BJ's earlier on but now I absolutely love giving them. Part of me starting to love doing this for him is the absolute mind blowing pleasure it gives him. I just love doing this for him. As far as the original OP's question, I swallow because that is what makes the BJ the most mind blowing for him. I do not find this degrading in the least. 

I honestly went from not really enjoying them too much in the past to really loving doing this for him. He never has to ask me for one, I am always happy to just do it. So, no matter what he wants to try, Im game. You just never know how you are going to feel about it from one day to the next. I am so emotionally connected to him during sex and he is to me. That is also something you are completely missing out on. You may actually be singing a different song right now if you were to feel an emotional connection during sex. Just a thought.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> That IS circular....if I put him first, then I do it, if he puts me first then he would never want me to.....so how can it possibly work? SOMEONE has to give up their need. I get the feeling on this thread that that someone should always be the woman. Go figure.


Putting your spouse first means you want to play a role in meeting their wants. They don't have to hide these wants from you or have to sacrifice them. That's a bad recipe if you ask me. Being married means submitting to what the other person wants... even when that thing isn't something YOU want.

Do you only have sex when YOU want to? I think this is a bad sign for a relationship. As far as I'm concered, my body belongs to the woman I'm with. Provided its not injurous or I'm just not able to tolerate it... I'm hers and I aim to please. I expect the same of her. That doesn't mean these things happen all the time, but we know each others wants and do our best to meet them. 

I'm not a fan of anal sex, but my ex wife occassionally wanted anal sex (reverse of normal dynamic, I know). Its not sexy to me, but I knew it was to her and so I played the part for her... because I wanted to satify her wants.

No one is always the woman... if by woman you mean sacrificing. A good marriage means both willingly sacrifice to each others needs. My body is hers. Her body is mine. They are given willingly.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

The woman is always the woman. Nature made that way.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> No, I don't. That's probably why these discussions are so confusing to me. I'm interested in seeing how other people function, but more often than not I am dismayed at how strange it all seems to me.
> 
> I love my husband. I love having sex with him. We have sex very frequently. I respect and admire my husband. But in no way do I feel compelled to do anything to or for him that violates my own personal feelings of dignity and self respect. And what is more, I expect the EXACT same thing from him. I don't want him touching me or doing anything to me that makes him feel bad or uncomfortable. How could I? HOW would that be loving? I don't care if he was giving me the most wonderful sensation in the universe....if it bothered him in anyway...I would NOT want it. To me anything else WOULD be selfish. How can my pleasure be more important than his comfort? :scratchhead: Orgasms are a dime a dozen...they don't really matter much. You'll have thousands over the course of your life. Forgoing that pleasure to show your partner how much you care for and respect them is infinitely more loving than demanding they do something they personally find disgusting.


You're rationalizing your distaste of swallowing... not actually being righteous about not wanting what one really wants, on the basis that one's partner doesn't. That doesn't even make sense. Of course you still want that thing... only you wish they wanted it too. Thus, the want is forever unmet. That's sad imo.

This is throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Not real genuine, giving, love.

To me, the ultimate generosity isn't giving what you want to give or doing what is comfortable or convenient. Its giving what you don't really want to give; going the extra mile for someone. Its not giving money when you have money to spend. Its giving money when you don't have much in the first place. Its having sex even though you're not really in the mood... because your partner wants to. Its them having sex with you even though they're not in the mood.

When you compare, "Without my having to ask, my wife occassionally does this for me even though she doesn't like it because she knows *I* really like it" versus "I don't ask for this because my wife doesn't want to do it".

Which one do you really consider more open and loving? I will always give my woman what she wants of me. I'm happy to do so, even if that thing doesn't do anything for me. I know she would do the same. That's why we're together.

I guess you can take the inclusive route or the exclusive route. I just know that I'd rather we offer ourselves and give freely, than both have unfulfilled wants.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Mine swallows every time. She wants all of me she can get, anyway she can get it.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

MrBrains said:


> The woman is always the woman. Nature made that way.


Not necessarily... thanks to medical science.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Not necessarily... thanks to medical science.


I hear ya . I didn't want to go there. Thought about it though.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

If you must spit don't use much pressure. Let it drool out and on your boobs so he at least gets a great visual out of it!


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Being married means submitting to what the other person wants... even when that thing isn't something YOU want.


It seems to me that if you marry the right person, this isn't an issue. They won't have any wants that you won't want to fulfill. 



> Do you only have sex when YOU want to?


Of course. This used to be an issue, but our drives are more synced now. But I still wouldn't do anything with my body that I didn't want to do. That is not right, married or single. If I'm not feeling it, I'm NOT going to do it. Simple. And I expect that in return of course. I don't want him just going along with it if he's not into it. How insulting. Aren't there like a million threads on TAM about people complaining about duty sex.

So you're supposed to do it even if you don't want to, which by definition is duty sex, but duty sex is bad because no one wants to do it with someone who doesn't want to do it. How the hell does that work?:scratchhead: Seriously. I don't understand this at all.


> My body is hers. Her body is mine. They are given willingly.


My body is mine. His body is his. No one does anything with their body that they don't want to. I really really thought everyone was like this. :scratchhead:


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> You're rationalizing your distaste of swallowing... not actually being righteous about not wanting what one really wants, on the basis that one's partner doesn't. That doesn't even make sense. Of course you still want that thing... only you wish they wanted it too. Thus, the want is forever unmet. That's sad imo


I'm not rationalizing anything. I have no need to rationalize. Just trying to explain this from another perspective. I realize I am a severe minority here, but for some reason I do want to be heard. I seem to be the only one standing up for bodily integrity and dignity of the persons involved in the relationship. Again, I simply do not understand this willingness, this desire people have to totally lose themselves in another person. It's not something I have any familiarity with at all. You may as well be speaking Martian for all the sense it makes to me LOL


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Hamster speak.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I think the main take away from the last several pages of this thread, for the guys who find themselves in the dating pool again, make sure you find out which kind of woman, the woman you're with is. For the guys who like swallowing (I would think most) just ask lots of questions and avoid women like LOTL and seek out women like LoriC. Simple. Don't invest in women who don't want to meet your needs and life will be good.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> Hamster speak.


You think so? Well what if your wife or SO had this very great NEED for you to perform full oral, to completion, during her period. Would you do it? She is extremely sensitive during that time, the sensations are heightened during the first few days when her flow is the heaviest and the orgasm helps soothe her cramps. She doesn't want PIV. Just oral. 

Would. You. Do.It?



Now, I expect every guy who wants a girl to swallow to answer that question with a resounding and enthusiastic YES!!!!!



But I know there are going to be a lot of busy little hamsters running around.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> No, I don't. That's probably why these discussions are so confusing to me. *I'm interested in seeing how other people function, *but more often than not I am dismayed at how strange it all seems to me.
> 
> ........


If they were true you would not use these threads to continually say that women lie about what they like doing and that men are selfish.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Of course. This used to be an issue, but our drives are more synced now. But I still wouldn't do anything with my body that I didn't want to do. That is not right, married or single. If I'm not feeling it, I'm NOT going to do it. Simple. And I expect that in return of course. I don't want him just going along with it if he's not into it. How insulting. Aren't there like a million threads on TAM about people complaining about duty sex.
> 
> So you're supposed to do it even if you don't want to, which by definition is duty sex, but duty sex is bad because no one wants to do it with someone who doesn't want to do it. How the hell does that work?:scratchhead: Seriously. I don't understand this at all.


There's a difference between going through the motions, and being actually willing when you weren't already feeling like sex. Some people shut down entirely. They don't feel like it and are thus not responsive... they don't even want to be *put* in the mood.

Someone who is totally not into YOU is having duty sex. That's different from being willing to get moving when it wasn't already on your mind. If you only have sex with lightning strikes both of you at the same time... I hope there's a lot of lightning where you live.



LadyOfTheLake said:


> My body is mine. His body is his. No one does anything with their body that they don't want to. I really really thought everyone was like this. :scratchhead:


People do it all the time... only the nature of the want is different. Its why women wear high heels even though they complain that they're uncomfortable.

Some things you do, and you want to do, because of how it pleases others... in the case of swallowing, your hubby. Some really want to please hubby ergo, they swallow even though its uncomfortable. He loves the feeling and thus they get vicarious enjoyment of it... being the one who did this for him.

I'd still go down on a woman even if I didn't like the taste. Because I like that she likes what I'm doing.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Holland said:


> If they were true you would not use these threads to continually say that women lie about what they like doing and that men are selfish.


I'm calling it like I see it and often that is the only instance any of this can compute into any form of logic. 


Plus, having interacted with enough women over the years, I DO know that women will lie about ANYTHING to a man. Just for attention if nothing else.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> You think so? Well what if your wife or SO had this very great NEED for you to perform full oral, to completion, during her period. Would you do it? She is extremely sensitive during that time, the sensations are heightened during the first few days when her flow is the heaviest and the orgasm helps soothe her cramps. She doesn't want PIV. Just oral.
> 
> Would. You. Do.It?


Yep. No problem. Its just blood. Woopty. Its not going to kill me. If I can down a shot of tequilla I can certainly handle some blood.

I raise you one better. Wanna have a mind blowing orgasm? Get doggystyle, have him toss your salad while he fingers you and you hold a vibrator to your cl*t. Booom.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> There's a difference between going through the motions, and being actually willing when you weren't already feeling like sex. Some people shut down entirely. They don't feel like it and are thus not responsive... they don't even want to be *put* in the mood.


Thank you for your explanation. That makes sense. Hubs only has to look at me a certain way and I'm in the mood so this isn't usually an issue for us. It used to be though. 




> Some things you do, and you want to do, because of how it pleases others... in the case of swallowing, your hubby. Some really want to please hubby ergo, they swallow even though its uncomfortable. He loves the feeling and thus they get vicarious enjoyment of it... being the one who did this for him.
> 
> I'd still go down on a woman even if I didn't like the taste. Because I like that she likes what I'm doing.



And thank you for explaining that as well. I can see it making sense outside of my own situation, but it isn't really a dynamic I am comfortable with. If that makes sense, LOL. I'd prefer it if no one ever did anything distasteful, and that any "wants" or "needs" that a partner had that would discomfit the other partner were just disregarded. That is a more ideal relationship IMO. Kind of the backwards version of what you describe, I guess.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I raise you one better. Wanna have a mind blowing orgasm? Get doggystyle, have him toss your salad while he fingers you and you hold a vibrator to your cl*t. Booom.


I don't know what that means....toss your salad?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I'm calling it like I see it and often that is the only instance any of this can compute into any form of logic.
> 
> 
> Plus, having interacted with enough women over the years, I DO know that women will lie about ANYTHING to a man. Just for attention if nothing else.


Good Lord, you interact with the wrong kind of women. Believe it or not, there actually ARE some of us who enjoy this with our husbands. Some actually LIKE giving BJs to completion, including swallowing. I am one of them. I don't lie to my husband, to get attention or for any other reason. The only time I have EVER not swallowed was the few times during pregnancy. I explained to him WHY I couldn't. Guess what? He was cool with it. But after pregnancy? Yup, back to swallowing. Not just because he likes it when I do, but because I actually PREFER swallowing. Strange as it may seem, not all women think the way you do. It doesn't make you wrong, nor does it make US wrong. It only makes us different. But I can say with certainty that NOT ALL women will lie to their men just to get whatever they want out of them. Some of us actually tell the truth, and only the truth... because lying never helps.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> . Some of us actually tell the truth, and only the truth... because lying never helps.


Oh I agree with that, surely you can see that I am honest to a fault. I see no point in lying or pretense. The plain honest truth is the only thing I'm interested in. 


But women, and men too, WILL pretend to be what they are not, do what they don't want to do, be who they aren't, just to have a relationship. To get attention. To feel loved. I see it in people, I hate it when I see it and can't understand WHY people play false to themselves. But they do. How many times does the term "bait and switch" get used here? People play false all the time


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I don't know what that means....toss your salad?


tongue --> a$$hole and areas surrounding. haha

Those areas are sensitive, not prone to being touched, and thus complement crazy out of your skin orgasms.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Oh I agree with that, surely you can see that I am honest to a fault. I see no point in lying or pretense. The plain honest truth is the only thing I'm interested in.
> 
> 
> *But women, and men too, WILL pretend to be what they are not, do what they don't want to do, be who they aren't, just to have a relationship.* To get attention. To feel loved. I see it in people, I hate it when I see it and can't understand WHY people play false to themselves. But they do. How many times does the term "bait and switch" get used here? People play false all the time


I agree, there are some... likely many... who will do this. But I think it's sad to assume that because of personal experience that it automatically is assumed that all are this way (self being the exception). Wouldn't you agree with this? I mean, my sisters have both gotten divorced due to their husbands' infidelity. My mom's first husband cheated on her and they divorced. My aunt cheated on her husband and divorced. I have friends who have divorced because of infidelity. Now, if I used all of the broken marriages as my example for how a marriage works, then my logical conclusion would be that all marriages end because of infidelity..at least first marriages, anyway. But I know that this is not correct. Why? Because they are only a small sample of the population. Just as I recognize that some will lie about everything, some are brutally honest, and some will pick and choose whether they lie or tell the truth.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> tongue --> a$$hole and areas surrounding. haha
> 
> Those areas are sensitive, not prone to being touched, and thus complement crazy out of your skin orgasms.


Oh. 


Nope.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Oh.
> 
> 
> Nope.


Don't worry. Me neither. The rest of what he said above is doable... but I think we established in a different thread that some couples have no interest in anal play.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> Don't worry. Me neither. The rest of what he said above is doable... but I think we established in a different thread that some couples have no interest in anal play.


Yeah...that's just.....no.


It's one of those things like I said before.....I don't care how good it feels. I really don't. It's not ok by me, its not ok by hubs. Even it were ok by me, its off limits to hubs so it's off limits to me. No questions asked. It just is.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Oh I agree with that, surely you can see that I am honest to a fault. I see no point in lying or pretense. The plain honest truth is the only thing I'm interested in.
> 
> 
> *But women, and men too, WILL pretend to be what they are not, do what they don't want to do, be who they aren't, just to have a relationship. To get attention. To feel loved. I see it in people, I hate it when I see it and can't understand WHY people play false to themselves. But they do. How many times does the term "bait and switch" get used here? People play false all the time :*(


Most^^^Definitely!
Wow!
We agree on something.

In relationships, people lie and pretend a whole lot.
They are lie to themselves also. They are false with themselves because they have cannot accept the truth about themselves.

Regarding this swallowing stuff , I don't see why it should be an issue. I've had it done to me several times and its doesn't feel any different. But to each his own, doesn't matter to me , doesn't enhance or add to my sexual stimulation because its after .
I have never asked for it to be "swallowed ."
Also I hear quite a lot of people with that anal play stuff..
I've never had anybody do it to me or done it to anybody,
for very good reasons.
I'll pass.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Gay men know exactly what it is, and I doubt it causes any decline in swallowing among them.
> 
> Straight men aren't repulsed by it because its nasty, we're repulsed because we're not gay. I'm certainly not repulsed by a woman who squirts when I give head... even if its urine or something else... oh well. I've just made her lose control of herself and gave her a massive orgasm without breaking off and going "ew gross" (how unsexy is that??).
> 
> Ultimately that's what swallowing is about. Its not ending oral sex with "ew gross"... gag... spit... what have you. Rather, swallowing says "god I love what I just did to you". I want every bit of you.


Gotta disagree there. If I were with a girl who squirted at me, that would be a definite turn off. How unsexy is that? Very. No thank you. Everyone has their limits and to some extent those need to be respected.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Yep. No problem. Its just blood. Woopty. Its not going to kill me. If I can down a shot of tequilla I can certainly handle some blood.
> 
> I raise you one better. Wanna have a mind blowing orgasm? Get doggystyle, have him toss your salad while he fingers you and you hold a vibrator to your cl*t. Booom.


Have to admit, reading both of those scenarios in the same post that close together, almost made me want to throw up in my mouth.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

gbrad said:


> Gotta disagree there. If I were with a girl who squirted at me, that would be a definite turn off. How unsexy is that? Very. No thank you. Everyone has their limits and to some extent those need to be respected.


That's all good as long as you don't expect her to swallow then huh? btw... its not much different than cumming on her.



gbrad said:


> Have to admit, reading both of those scenarios in the same post that close together, almost made me want to throw up in my mouth.


Don't knock it till you try it. 

Have to admit, some people are just vanilla. :sleeping:

People are so afraid of bodies and fluids. That's just silly to me. You do wash, and these fluids are all sterile. The worst person to have a sexual relationship with imo, is someone afraid to experiment.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Have to admit, some people are just vanilla. :sleeping:
> 
> People are so afraid of bodies and fluids. That's just silly to me. You do wash, and these fluids are all sterile. *The worst person to have a sexual relationship with imo, is someone afraid to experiment*.


That's subjective, though. And think about it, if BOTH are cool with "vanilla", who are we to judge? If it works for them, that's really all that matters. I'm one who is not "afraid" of fluids. I've been peed on, puked on, pooped on by three of my own babies, as well as nieces and a nephew. I babysat kids in diapers. I've had to clean up after pets. I even started in nursing school. I have no issue with body fluids or cleaning up after a mess is made... HOWEVER, my own personal boundaries, and that of my husband, are such that certain things have no place in sex. If it works for someone else, fine. But it doesn't work for everyone. It doesn't make someone "afraid" to experiment. I absolutely am up for experimentation. But if it involves human excrement or urine or even blood, we strike those off the list. For us, those are :nono: Again, that is for US. And that includes playing with the anus. It doesn't matter how much it is cleaned. It is waste elimination only, to us. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that...a s long as the couple is in agreement.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I think the main take away from the last several pages of this thread, for the women who find themselves in the dating pool again, make sure you find out which kind of Man you're with is. For the guys who who are more interested in what sex acts you will do,like swallowing (I would think most) just ask lots of questions and avoid menwho are inflexable and focused on what they dont get and seek out Men who see sex as mutually enjoyable and not something to meet their needs. Simple. Don't invest in Men who are perenially miserable about what they don't get and make you miserable too.


I think this is great advice Working but I'll take it a bit further with advice for women. 

Don't waste time with men who have a list of sex acts they require for a relationship. You can tell who they are, many sex act questions before you even think about them as anyone you like enough to invite them to have sex more than 10 times. 

They are not intrested in you as a person but a sexual partner to meet their needs. The problem is that such a man is so preoccupied with his list that he is not in the moment. You may feel that you are on review sexually and you need to measure up but he does not have to do anything to meet your list. 

If a man is looking for someone to swallow his cum, I am certain he will find a woman who wants a relationship badly enough to sign a contract agreeing to his list of sex acts.

Even if you love to swallow, you are unlikely to have fun relaxed mutually enjoyable sexual. Move on find someone who appreciates you and sees who you are.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

It's true Catherine. Sex addicts should not marry prudes regardless of their sex. It will never end well.

Of course your editorial comments also apply to women right? Since there are a lot of women who have lists of sex acts that the consider essential to compatibility. Does Diwalli care more about oral than her husband? Or does your "logic" only apply to men? Is it ok for a woman to be deprived for a lifetime so her husband won't think her list is more important than him?

Apparently you want people to love each other for who they are but can't acknowledge that a persons sexuality is part of who they are. 

If one person says no to everything, then the person with the list asking is the one in the wrong? And if the person asking doesn't brush it off then the person saying no isn't loved for who they are? Does the refuser have no responsibility to say yes sometimes?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I agree with you Working. My point is that you need to find someone who meets your requirements as a person. Then see if you are comparable with each other sexually. 

I don't think you should state a bunch of preferences before knowing if the woman meets some basic requirements as a person, if you are looking for more than a few sexual encounters. Someone mentioned that people become what they think you like if they like you. 

If you wait and see, the person will naturally reveal who they are. If you are getting great sex, be even more vigilant. If you put your big brain in gear, you should be able to tell if the enthusiasm is genuine. 

There are some great repressed woman out there who would open up to a man with the right attitude. My husband said something to the effect of "I am a man baby, don't expect me to apologize for it". Not angry, just a statement of fact stated with confidence. 

That had and has more of an effect on me than any demands. It says strength and and a sureness. I feel he will be able to handle me and I am safe. I can't explain why. He also acknowledges that our culture shames woman for being sexual and that screws up marital sex. 

That's something that men rarely acknowledge. They just want their wife to get over the double standard when it benifits them. It seems to me that stating the truth - women are shamed for expressing their sexuality and it is wrong. 

They are made to feel that they can only enjoy sex under the auspices of a man so he will commit. I think it is natural to get angry and to take back control by having sex only on her terms. 

Woman can't enjoy their sexualitiy without shame but they need to past a sex act test to meet a mans requirement. Can understand why women get angry and refuse so frequently. 

On the other hand, I wish more good men would say to their wives what my husband said to me and really feel it. But they also have to have a genuine understanding of their wife's reality. It goes both ways. 

Blaming women doesn't change anything.

There is something about a good man not apologizing for wanting what they want and being who they are. It is being proud of their basic nature and not being made to feel ashamed. It helps woman to feel that they can relax and be sexual without shame.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> That's all good as long as you don't expect her to swallow then huh? btw... its not much different than cumming on her.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The fluids are NOT sterile! Bodily fluids contain all sorts of nasty things....how do you think STD's are spread? Sooo many diseases are transmitted through bodily fluids, which is why healthcare workers take such precautions to avoid contamination with them. So I think it's pretty obvious how people can see them as being the exact opposite of sexy.

And no, I'm not worried at all about disease transmission from or to my DH. We are both clean. But I feel that some things are just too personal to share and that the human body deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. There is such a thing as over share, IMO.


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> That's all good as long as you don't expect her to swallow then huh? btw... its not much different than cumming on her.
> 
> *I could care less if my wife ever swallowed. She never does it to completion, so the swallowing not an issue. Cumming on her, that never happens either.*
> 
> ...


I have no problem with experimenting some different things. But there are limits. There are just some things that I have no interest doing in the bedroom. Just as there are some things I have no interest doing in life that don't involved sex. As for the anal play of any kind, there is just nothing sexy or a turn on about that for me. 
And to me, the worst kind of person to have a sexual relationship with to me is one that you are not sexually attracted to. That is the most important factor and sadly my biggest sexual issue.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

I swallow. If I go through the work and effort to get him off, I better get the satisfaction that my jaw is sore for a dam.n good reason.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> The fluids are NOT sterile! Bodily fluids contain all sorts of nasty things....how do you think STD's are spread? Sooo many diseases are transmitted through bodily fluids, which is why healthcare workers take such precautions to avoid contamination with them. So I think it's pretty obvious how people can see them as being the exact opposite of sexy.
> 
> And no, I'm not worried at all about disease transmission from or to my DH. We are both clean. But I feel that some things are just too personal to share and that the human body deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. There is such a thing as over share, IMO.


Then why even bring up the first part if the second part is true?


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> The fluids are NOT sterile! Bodily fluids contain all sorts of nasty things....how do you think STD's are spread? Sooo many diseases are transmitted through bodily fluids, *which is why healthcare workers take such precautions to avoid contamination with them. So I think it's pretty obvious how people can see them as being the exact opposite of sexy.*
> 
> And no, I'm not worried at all about disease transmission from or to my DH. We are both clean. But I feel that some things are just too personal to share and that the human body deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. There is such a thing as over share, IMO.


The sexy part is that it is participating in an act that is bonding, giving and extremely intimate with another human that you LOVE. 

There is not another man on this earth that I would put the words semen and sexy together for except my partner.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> Then why even bring up the first part if the second part is true?


DevlsAdvc8 said the fluids were sterile. They aren't. They are considered toxic waste in hospitals and such. 

The second part, I am not afraid of disease from my dh. But the fluids are still "dirty" in my mind. And just extremely personal. That's a boundary not to be crossed.

I wouldn't share my menstrual fluids with him. It's taboo for a reason and I don't get any thrill out of breaking taboo.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Holland said:


> The sexy part is that it is participating in an act that is bonding, giving and extremely intimate with another human that you LOVE.
> 
> There is not another man on this earth that I would put the words semen and sexy together for except my partner.


That is so frustrating because it doesn't make any sense. The substance is the same, regardless of whom it comes from.:scratchhead: Emotions don't change the composition of it. Semen is semen is semen. Other than DNA it's the same thing from every man. It could be pig or dog semen for that matter....it is all the same stuff. Loving the person is irrelevant.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> That is so frustrating because it doesn't make any sense. The substance is the same, regardless of whom it comes from.:scratchhead: Emotions don't change the composition of it. Semen is semen is semen. Other than DNA it's the same thing from every man. It could be pig or dog semen for that matter....it is all the same stuff.* Loving the person is irrelevant*.


Only to you my dear, you are certainly in the minority. Remember, we feel a deep emotional connection and love to our man. You however do not, so no one here will expect you to understand. We could argue this until the cows come home and it wont matter.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LOTL for me personally love has everything to do with it. I would not hug or hold hands with a man I did not love let alone suck his xxxx. 

You don't get the connection between love, sex, intimacy and that is yours to deal with. Just have to say that sex that is enjoyed with love and passion is the best, simply the best place to be.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

LoriC said:


> Only to you my dear, you are certainly in the minority. Remember, we feel a deep emotional connection and love to our man. You however do not, so no one here will expect you to understand. We could argue this until the cows come home and it wont matter.


No, I guess not. I've tried, but I just don't understand.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> No, I guess not. I've tried, but I just don't understand.


Does it bother you LOTL?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

SO goes soft during BJ's when I attempt it so he has only finished in my mouth once.I swallowed.Not because he expected it but just bc I didn't feel like getting up.
I decided to contribute to the thread today bc I FINALLY got him to share why he would rather have a handjob than a BJ.

He said he feels it's degrading to me.I begged him to tell me if he didn't enjoy it bc I wasn't good at it and he swore that it felt great but his mind takes over. He feels like sucking c*ck is beneath me for some reason then he goes soft.

My ex and previous partner had no issues with BJs,wanted them all the time.For the record,I would swallow sometimes and other times I would spit.

It's a personal choice and no one should be jumped on for what they choose to do. as long as their partner has no issues with it then every thing is good


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Holland said:


> Does it bother you LOTL?


No, not really. I'm content in my own world views. I just really like to argue 

I like to have other view points presented to me, as I know I am very different from other people. Sometimes my attitude shifts as a result. But not usually. I'm very stubborn and sure of my own right-ness.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> The fluids are NOT sterile! Bodily fluids contain all sorts of nasty things....how do you think STD's are spread? Sooo many diseases are transmitted through bodily fluids, which is why healthcare workers take such precautions to avoid contamination with them. So I think it's pretty obvious how people can see them as being the exact opposite of sexy.
> 
> And no, I'm not worried at all about disease transmission from or to my DH. We are both clean. But I feel that some things are just too personal to share and that the human body deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. There is such a thing as over share, IMO.


These bodily fluids are in fact sterile - as in germ free. In a normal healthy person, semen and urine only pick up bacteria already present along their path of travel in exceptionally low numbers.

Someone should not engage in a sexual act with someone who has an infection regardless. If you have oral herpes I'm not going to kiss you... does that make kissing someone who doesn't have it unsexy? No. Kind of *duh* isn't it? Feces can contain harmful bacteria in a normal adult, which is why it is necessary to thoroughly wash and clean before going there and after penetrative anal. That said, there is nothing dangerous or infectious about any of these activities between two healthy people. More bacteria is exchanged in a good kiss, than any of these other activities. You want nasty? The mouth is really really nasty. Ah, but this is normal to you so no issue.

You and hubby have no STDs, so this line of reasoning is just bunk. Its is additional evidence of the rationalizing I pointed out earlier. Its excuss making for your personal discomfort with the idea.

Someone's willingness to engage in certain sex acts has nothing to do with respect and dignity. That's just bias you bring into it.

I'm very comfortable with the human body. I have no such reservations.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Someone's willingness to engage in certain sex acts has nothing to do with respect and dignity. That's just bias you bring into it.


For some people,it has every thing to do with respect and dignity.
Like I said about SO,he finds BJ's to be so degrading to me that he can't even keep an erection for them.I could beg to suck his d*ck and try my best to convince him it doesn't take away my dignity but he can't help how he feels about it.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> For some people,it has every thing to do with respect and dignity.
> Like I said about SO,he finds BJ's to be so degrading to me that he can't even keep an erection for them.I could beg to suck his d*ck and try my best to convince him it doesn't take away my dignity but he can't help how he feels about it.


To me, things like this are something to go to therapy for. A bj is no more degrading than a back massage. Does he think its degrading to him if he sucks on your nipples or goes down on you? Does he go down on you? I know a guy who says the same about bjs - "I don't want to degrade you." But he's told me that he just says that because he can't go down on her without feeling like he's going to throw up. He passes on bjs to avoid feeling guilty.

You can make just about any sex act degrading if you want to, but the act is not degrading on its own.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> To me, things like this are something to go to therapy for. A bj is no more degrading than a back massage. Does he think its degrading to him if he sucks on your nipples or goes down on you? Does he go down on you? I know a guy who says the same about bjs - "I don't want to degrade you." But he's told me that he just says that because he can't go down on her without feeling like he's going to throw up. He passes on bjs to avoid feeling guilty.
> 
> You can make just about any sex act degrading if you want to, but the act is not degrading on its own.


As long as the rest of our sex life is fun,it isn't my place to tell him whether he's right or wrong about BJ's and whether or not he should be in therapy about it.It's his only sexual hang up.

He goes down on me every day.

I don't know why he associates sucking penis with degradation,it's a mystery I plan on discussing more with him.Not because I feel the need to change him or his mind,but bc it's fascinating and I need to know lol


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Loving the person is irrelevant.


I totally disagree with this. There are things I want to do and enjoy doing with someone I love that I wouldn't even think of doing with someone I don't... and I'm not even a really touchy feely emo type.

I liken it to the honeymoon period in a new relationship, where your partner seemingly has NO flaws. Or how when you're disatisfied with a relationship, you suddenly notice every little flaw they have... even many things you once thought were attractive or charming now just irritate you.

Its really just all in your head.

Another example: I was dating this one girl and had to go on business travel for a couple weeks very early in the relationship. When I got back, I just had to eat her out. I just attacked. I was literally *starving* for her. Groping, biting, licking, sucking... it was like going without food for days and then having a nice juicy steak. haha It was awesome, she couldn't even have sex afterwards so I didn't even get any... but it was still awesome FOR me. It was just my mental state.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> As long as the rest of our sex life is fun,it isn't my place to tell him whether he's right or wrong about BJ's and whether or not he should be in therapy about it.It's his only sexual hang up.
> 
> He goes down on me every day.
> 
> I don't know why he associates sucking penis with degradation,it's a mystery I plan on discussing more with him.Not because I feel the need to change him or his mind,but bc it's fascinating and I need to know lol


I hope you don't think I was criticizing you or him. I'm just speaking freely. So, he doesn't think you're degrading him when he goes down on you? And yet he doesn't make the link the other way around?

Alternative possibilities: I've had friends who simply don't like oral (yes, I think they're crazy) - it isn't the feeling they want/like, can't orgasm from it etc. They don't tell their wives over fear that their wives will think they're just bad at giving oral sex - so they make something up. Then there are others who avoid it because what she does just doesn't get it for them and she doesn't respond to suggestion well - again, they make something up to protect her feelings. Some guys suck at the communication thing. 

I guess I can understand doing this I suppose. I mean, if I can't stay hard as a result of what she is doing and she's not receptive to instruction... I'd have two problems. 1) The egotastic issues with not staying hard regardless lol... and 2) feeling bad that she probably feels bad that she can't get me off.

All kinds of bad there. I can see why some guys might view avoiding it as a better option.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I hope you don't think I was criticizing you or him. I'm just speaking freely. So, he doesn't think you're degrading him when he goes down on you? And yet he doesn't make the link the other way around?


not at all speak freely,definitely!

He doesn't feel going down on me is degrading.I haven't yet figured out why he doesn't make the connection that if oral doesn't degrade him,oral doesn't degrade me.
He considers it a privilege that I "allow him" to go down on me.It's his favorite activity.

I will get to the bottom of the BJ thing though.

If I get to do it,I'll probably swallow again...adding that to stay on topic LOL


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> *To me*, things like this are something to go to therapy for. A bj is no more degrading than a back massage. Does he think its degrading to him if he sucks on your nipples or goes down on you? Does he go down on you? I know a guy who says the same about bjs - "I don't want to degrade you." But he's told me that he just says that because he can't go down on her without feeling like he's going to throw up. He passes on bjs to avoid feeling guilty.
> 
> You can make just about any sex act degrading if you want to, but the act is not degrading on its own.


Those are the key words... to YOU. YOU don't find any of this degrading. Not everyone feels that way. I don't find BJs to be degrading... but facials are a different story. I will never let my husband pee on me... I feel that is degrading as well. I'm guessing you don't feel that way, however. It doesn't mean I need therapy for it. It means I have my own preferences...which don't fall in line with yours. And, since you're not my spouse/SO, it doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that my husband and I are in sync with our thinking when it comes to these things.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

It's definitely a worry of mine that I'm bad at it but I feel confident that he knows me well enough to know I'm receptive to instruction and constructive criticism from him.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> As long as the rest of our sex life is fun,it isn't my place to tell him whether he's right or wrong about BJ's and whether or not he should be in therapy about it.It's his only sexual hang up.
> 
> *He goes down on me every day.*
> I don't know why he associates sucking penis with degradation,it's a mystery I plan on discussing more with him.Not because I feel the need to change him or his mind,but bc it's fascinating and I need to know lol


Whoa!! You lucky woman!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

LoriC said:


> Whoa!! You lucky woman!


:rofl: I know,it's insane! lol I think he's obsessed


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> Those are the key words... to YOU. YOU don't find any of this degrading. Not everyone feels that way. I don't find BJs to be degrading... but facials are a different story. I will never let my husband pee on me... I feel that is degrading as well. I'm guessing you don't feel that way, however. It doesn't mean I need therapy for it. It means I have my own preferences...which don't fall in line with yours. And, since you're not my spouse/SO, it doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that my husband and I are in sync with our thinking when it comes to these things.


Yes, the person that you love, and loves you, is really intersted in degrading you by cumming on your face.

Do you see how that doesn't make sense? The reality is that he's just turned on by the visual. You know that feeling of power and control you have going down on us? There's an element of that too.

You can like it, enjoy it, not like it, not enjoy it, whatever... but its not degrading unless they make it degrading. Cum on your chest rather than your face? C'mon... its all just body parts.

The urine fetish is generally more about watching it than doing it. For the same reason a guy might enjoy watching a cumshot.

The fact that SB's hubby doesn't think he's being degraded when he's down on her *every day*, but thinks its degrading for her to go down on him, points to something that could probably use some therapy.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> That is so frustrating because it doesn't make any sense. The substance is the same, regardless of whom it comes from.:scratchhead: Emotions don't change the composition of it. Semen is semen is semen. Other than DNA it's the same thing from every man. It could be pig or dog semen for that matter....it is all the same stuff. Loving the person is irrelevant.


The reason this doesn't make any sense to you is that you are looking at it with an unemotional, clinical eye. I would not drink my husband's semen in a cup. Then it would be a body fluid that would be disgusting. But with a BJ I am giving my husband great pleasure. I am showing him that I love his whole body, and that his pleasure is important to me. I love the look of ecstasy on his face, and the feeling that I put it there.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

LoriC said:


> Only to you my dear, you are certainly in the minority. Remember, we feel a deep emotional connection and love to our man. You however do not, so no one here will expect you to understand. We could argue this until the cows come home and it wont matter.


Precisely. Love is _never_ irrelevant. It takes relationships beyond just friendship to something deeper, it takes sex from something animals do to something deep, personal, intimate and special, it takes the human body, which is already beautiful, and makes that one special person's our favorite work of art, it makes bodily fluids sexy. 

Love is what makes this happen.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

The only sexual act I find remotely degrading is anal, and only when one spouse wants it and the other doesn't. But if both agree to it, I don't see it any differently than PIV.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Yes, the person that you love, and loves you, is really intersted in degrading you by cumming on your face.
> 
> Do you see how that doesn't make sense? The reality is that he's just turned on by the visual. You know that feeling of power and control you have going down on us? There's an element of that too.
> 
> ...



And, as I pointed out in my own post... what matters is that we have partners with whom our thinking aligns. You don't find acts degrading. That's great for you, and your partner if she agrees with you. My husband and I find certain things to be degrading. See, the REASON he would never do any of those things is BECAUSE he and I both feel they are degrading...to US. Peeing on someone, seeing someone peed on, etc. But having the view that certain acts are degrading TO THEM doesn't mean someone needs therapy because of it. It only means they have certain boundaries that you do not.

However, I will concede that it is odd that SB's SO loves to give but not receive. She's vowed to get to the bottom of it, so that's what matters.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

Created2Write said:


> The only sexual act I find remotely degrading is anal, and only when one spouse wants it and the other doesn't. But if both agree to it, I don't see it any differently than PIV.


:iagree:

I also think that cum on the face degrading. I would be curious about why anyone would find that to be a loving act.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

is there really a choice? I mean with an ear in each hand whats she gonna do........and she darn sure can't say anything....cept yoooooouuuuuuummmmmmmmffffffffrrrrrrr.....

hehe


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Let me see if I can summarize the posts in this thread:

Everyone's entitled to my opinion.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

lovesherman said:


> :iagree:
> 
> I also think that cum on the face degrading. I would be curious about why anyone would find that to be a loving act.


I don't find that any more degrading than cumming on her chest. Or her belly. If she likes it and he likes it, why not? Personally, I didn't find it "loving" so much as I found it really hot and steamy.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

ATC529R said:


> is there really a choice? I mean with an ear in each hand whats she gonna do........


Bite. HARD.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Bite. HARD.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


meh, I make em take their teef out 1st.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Bite. HARD.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


ROFL!! 

I am sure that poster was just being obnoxious! 

Now, my H would NEVER hold my head like that and control my movements or force me to swallow. I swallow because I choose to do so. For years he would never let me because he wasn't sure how I felt about it. That was back in the day when we were not communicating effectively. Those days are over


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> I don't find that any more degrading than cumming on her chest. Or her belly. If she likes it and he likes it, why not? Personally, I didn't find it "loving" so much as I found it really hot and steamy.


But that's the point. You are cool with it. You may not find it "loving" but you think of it as hot and steamy. Some of us don't. Either way, there's nothing wrong with that...so long as the COUPLE is in agreement.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Created2Write said:


> The only sexual act I find remotely degrading is anal, and only when one spouse wants it and the other doesn't. But if both agree to it, I don't see it any differently than PIV.


Not a preference of mine honestly... but I guess it has a bit of a dominating kinky to it. If I'm doing the thrusting, give me the good ol feeling of the vajayjay over anal any day.

What I don't get is that some women actually get off from it. I can understand how some enjoy it... but an orgasm from anal? No earthly clue, but I've heard some insist.

I really don't get the pee stuff... but even then I can't see anything that someone who I *know* loves me wants to do with me as degrading.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I really don't get the pee stuff... but even then I can't see anything that someone who I *know* loves me wants to do with me as degrading.


In keeping with your screen name... how do you *know* they aren't trying to degrade you in this way because they just haven't given you the "ILYBINILWY" speech yet? I do see your point... and I think you agree that, as long as both parties are willing, then it's their choice. But if one has it as a personal boundary, that's a different story.


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## ATC529R (Oct 31, 2012)

all kidding aside........women who don't swallow usually aren't all that good in bed.

everyone knows guys like it, and if a person put's their personal preference ahead of their partners it usually translates into them being bad in bed. I am speaking of a mild discomfort like swallowing, not anal sex or bondage etc..


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> In keeping with your screen name... how do you *know* they aren't trying to degrade you in this way because they just haven't given you the "ILYBINILWY" speech yet? I do see your point... and I think you agree that, as long as both parties are willing, then it's their choice. But if one has it as a personal boundary, that's a different story.


I guess that's the difference between love and something not quite love huh? Actual love is totally trusting.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

Maricha75 said:


> But that's the point. You are cool with it. You may not find it "loving" but you think of it as hot and steamy. Some of us don't. Either way, there's nothing wrong with that...so long as the COUPLE is in agreement.


That's exactly what I said.  So long as both are in agreement, no sexual act is degrading.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

ATC529R said:


> all kidding aside........women who don't swallow usually aren't all that good in bed.
> 
> everyone knows guys like it, and if a person put's their personal preference ahead of their partners it usually translates into them being bad in bed. I am speaking of a mild discomfort like swallowing, not anal sex or bondage etc..


I'm not going to totally agree, but I'm not going to disagree either... because I see a tangent.

To me, the more someone is free of constraints and more willing to give, the better they are in bed. Same neighborhood maybe?

I'm not a fan of when woman doesn't s*ck to completion and instead finishes with her hand. Occasionally? Ok. Always finishing with hand? It literally feels like I got robbed AND she's grossed out by me. Might as well say "ewww" right before I orgasm. That sort of attitude is a recipe for bad sex imo.

I'm going to really remember the one that was really into it. Ladies... how big of a turn off is it when a guy goes down on you but is hesitant and you can tell he feels icky about it? It sucks right?

I don't necessarily enjoy everything a given woman enjoys, but I go all-in to please her without reservation - especially if I love her, because that's what I want from her too.

But this is where Mavash chimes in. If that's what a couple likes, more power too 'em. Can't argue with that... just make sure your hangups match.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I guess that's the difference between love and something not quite love huh? Actual love is totally trusting.


I "liked" your post... but one thing i need to point out. Actual love wouldn't ask someone to do something when they know that one views an act as degrading, either. IOW, my husband wouldn't request to pee on me, or to be peed on, because he sees it as degrading, as do I. I TRUST that he will respect my boundaries, just as he TRUSTS that I will respect his. I love him, I trust him. It doesn't change the fact that we both feel certain acts are inappropriate for us...thus, neither would even think of asking for such things.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> I "liked" your post... but one thing i need to point out. Actual love wouldn't ask someone to do something when they know that one views an act as degrading, either. IOW, my husband wouldn't request to pee on me, or to be peed on, because he sees it as degrading, as do I. I TRUST that he will respect my boundaries, just as he TRUSTS that I will respect his. I love him, I trust him. It doesn't change the fact that we both feel certain acts are inappropriate for us...thus, neither would even think of asking for such things.


Isn't this what I've been saying all along? If my dh knows that I find him cumming in my mouth to be repulsive, then he shouldn't even ask. A person who loves you won't want to do something to you that you find so repellent whether it be oral, anal, scatalogical or whatever. THAT is true, unselfish love. Forgoing their own pleasure so as not to offend their partner.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Isn't this what I've been saying all along? If my dh knows that I find him cumming in my mouth to be repulsive, then he shouldn't even ask. A person who loves you won't want to do something to you that you find so repellent whether it be oral, anal, scatalogical or whatever. THAT is true, unselfish love. Forgoing their own pleasure so as not to offend their partner.


I completely understand what you are saying. It would bother me to no end if I knew there was something so pleasurable he was giving up just for me. I know that is what unselfish love is but it would still bother me. 

Boy am I glad this is not an issue in this marriage. There is not one thing yet that he has wanted me to do that "repulsed" me. I take great pride in being able to blow his mind! Makes me feel good!


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

lovesherman said:


> The reason this doesn't make any sense to you is that you are looking at it with an unemotional, clinical eye. I would not drink my husband's semen in a cup. Then it would be a body fluid that would be disgusting. But with a BJ I am giving my husband great pleasure. I am showing him that I love his whole body, and that his pleasure is important to me. I love the look of ecstasy on his face, and the feeling that I put it there.


Emotions aren't fairy dust. They don't magically change substances from"yuck" to "ohhhh yummy". The look on his face, the pleasure he feels, again are irrelevant to what is going on in YOUR mouth. 

My H enjoys a bj as much as any guy, which is why I do them. But it is something *I* give him, so it has to be on my terms. And my terms are that he keeps his stuff to himself. No amount of emotion on my part are going to transform the fluid into something other than what it is.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Emotions aren't fairy dust. They don't magically change substances from"yuck" to "ohhhh yummy". The look on his face, the pleasure he feels, again are irrelevant to what is going on in YOUR mouth


Well, yes and no. I had sex with two men before I met my husband. Neither of them ever got a BJ from me. The only man whose penis has ever been in my mouth is my husband's. No, my feelings for him do not "magically change" the substance that comes from his penis. But my love for him DOES change how I VIEW it. Semen is meant to go into the body. Granted, it's MEANT to go inside the vagina. Regardless, it isn't a waste product....unlike urine, feces, vomit, and sputum.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

See, I agree that love is forgoing personal pleasure for the comfort of our SO. Which is why my husband and I don't have sex if I'm sick. It's why we don't do anal sex. 

However, because I love him and I don't believe that either spouse has the right to dictate what will or will not happen in bed, I believe in compromising. I can't share anal sex with my husband. It's agonizingly painful. But, I let him finger that part of my body during sex when he wants to. Do I enjoy it? Not really. It feels kind of strange. But he loves it. And it doesn't hinder my pleasure, so I don't say anything. Same with BJs. If I know that it will be a while before we're able to do PIV, I give him one to completion and I swallow. 

Are either of those things comfortable? No. But I love him, and I _want_ him to have pleasure. So I choose not to put myself first.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Created2Write said:


> See, I agree that love is forgoing personal pleasure for the comfort of our SO. Which is why my husband and I don't have sex if I'm sick. It's why we don't do anal sex.
> 
> However, because I love him and I don't believe that either spouse has the right to dictate what will or will not happen in bed, I believe in compromising. I can't share anal sex with my husband. It's agonizingly painful. But, I let him finger that part of my body during sex when he wants to. Do I enjoy it? Not really. It feels kind of strange. But he loves it. And it doesn't hinder my pleasure, so I don't say anything. Same with BJs. If I know that it will be a while before we're able to do PIV, I give him one to completion and I swallow.
> 
> Are either of those things comfortable? No. But I love him, and I _want_ him to have pleasure. So I choose not to put myself first.


I get what you are saying, only I DO believe one person can and should be able to dictate what goes on in the bedroom. We all have our boundaries and no one should cross those for any reason. I offer BJs when PIV is not possible, but don't do it to completion because I am not comfortable with that. I want him to have his satisfaction, but my comfort matters too. I'm not ok with totally subjugating myself to him and doing anything I'm not 100% comfortable with.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

If my husband started to give me oral, but didn't do it to completion, he would never get a BJ from me ever again. If he continued to maintain that he wasn't comfortable bringing me to orgasm, but he was okay starting me off, I wouldn't stay married to him. IMO, it's selfish to start something like that and refuse to finish it. 

If it works for you and your husband, great. I would never respect someone who took that stance with me. Sex is meant to be mutual, so I believe all choices within the sexual relationship should be mutual as well.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Created2Write said:


> If my husband started to give me oral, but didn't do it to completion, he would never get a BJ from me ever again. If he continued to maintain that he wasn't comfortable bringing me to orgasm, but he was okay starting me off, I wouldn't stay married to him. IMO, it's selfish to start something like that and refuse to finish it.
> 
> If it works for you and your husband, great. I would never respect someone who took that stance with me. Sex is meant to be mutual, so I believe all choices within the sexual relationship should be mutual as well.



I phrased my earlier post wrong again. Of course I finish him, just not in my mouth. There would be no point otherwise. I thought that would be obvious.

When my H started going down on me I didn't like it at all. I was too inexperienced and naive to tell him to ****** off and not do it again. I was mystified as to why he'd even want to!! What a disgusting thing to want to do.:scratchhead: I still don't get the appeal and if he didn't want to do it would TOTALLY understand. But I like it, and he LOVES it. I don't understand it. Makes no sense why such an act was ever even invented....gotta question the person/people who first started doing it LOL. What was wrong with them? Anyway, if H ever decided he was sicked out by it, THAT would make perfect, logical, sense and he'd never do it again. It's certainly not something I'd leave him for. No sexual act is. An orgasm is an orgasm. It doesn't matter how you get it, it's all the same in the end.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I phrased my earlier post wrong again. Of course I finish him, just not in my mouth. There would be no point otherwise. I thought that would be obvious.


I still think it's selfish. Fingers are not the same as his tongue. If he starts with his fingers and finishes with his mouth, I have no issues...oral is _by far_ the most enjoyable of the two. But going from oral to fingers? I'd be p!ssed as hell. 

I used to start oral on my husband and finish with my hand. I thought I was being nice and generous just sucking him at all. Then he did the same to me...started with oral and switched to fingers. 

I've never not finished him off orally since then. I see how selfish and inconsiderate that is. 



> When my H started going down on me I didn't like it at all. I was too inexperienced and naive to tell him to ****** off and not do it again. I was mystified as to why he'd even want to!! What a disgusting thing to want to do.:scratchhead:


 You find receiving oral pleasure disgusting? I was naive my first time getting oral sex too. And H was he first man I was ever sexual with. I thought oral sex had something to do with boobs. So when we were making out and he said he wanted to put his mouth on me, I said "Yes" without really knowing what was going on. And when I realized what it was, my first thought wasn't "Gross!", it was, "God dam.n that feels amazing!!" 

I, literally, have never heard a woman think this way. Ever. 



> I still don't get the appeal and if he didn't want to do it would TOTALLY understand. But I like it, and he LOVES it. I don't understand it. Makes no sense why such an act was ever even invented....gotta question the person/people who first started doing it LOL. What was wrong with them?


Sorry, no offense, but there was nothing wrong with them. Women were created to orgasm through clitoral stimulation...so, I thank God those people had the sense to experiment because it's some of the best pleasure I've ever had. 



> Anyway, if H ever decided he was sicked out by it, THAT would make perfect, logical, sense and he'd never do it again. It's certainly not something I'd leave him for. No sexual act is. An orgasm is an orgasm. It doesn't matter how you get it, it's all the same in the end.


Maybe to YOU. Not to me. I'm a sexual person. If my husband suddenly decided my vagina wasn't important, I'd leave in a heartbeat and find a man that _cared_. I love sex, even without orgasms, but when I have orgasms, everything is just different. And yes, it absolutely matters how I get it. Masturbating myself off is NOT the same feeling as my husband manually stimulating me. His manual stimulation is NOT the same as oral. Oral is NOT the same as a vaginal orgasm. Being manually stimulated during PIV and orgasming isn't the same as a vaginal orgasm either. They're all four amazing orgasms, and they're all different in intensity and feeling and pleasure. I want a man who knows how to get me off in all four ways, and does so with desire, passion, sex appeal and confidence; essentially a man who recognizes that I'm worth it, because I sure as hell think he is.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I phrased my earlier post wrong again. Of course I finish him, just not in my mouth. There would be no point otherwise. I thought that would be obvious.
> 
> When my H started going down on me I didn't like it at all. I was too inexperienced and naive to tell him to ****** off and not do it again. I was mystified as to why he'd even want to!! What a disgusting thing to want to do.:scratchhead: I still don't get the appeal and if he didn't want to do it would TOTALLY understand. But I like it, and he LOVES it. I don't understand it. Makes no sense why such an act was ever even invented....gotta question the person/people who first started doing it LOL. What was wrong with them? Anyway, if H ever decided he was sicked out by it, THAT would make perfect, logical, sense and he'd never do it again. It's certainly not something I'd leave him for. No sexual act is. An orgasm is an orgasm. It doesn't matter how you get it, it's all the same in the end.


Wow, so you dont like oral on you Lady? You by far are the most interesting woman I have ever to meet. I would take oral on me every day if I could! My H says he loves going down and thank god for that!


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

LoriC said:


> Wow, so you dont like oral on you Lady? You by far are the most interesting woman I have ever to meet. I would take oral on me every day if I could! My H says he loves going down and thank god for that!


Same here.


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## Wiserforit (Dec 27, 2012)

Usually she spits out the window. 

And she definitely knows what she is doing. Two minutes.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

My ex wife didn't like oral. It actually made me question whether I was doing something wrong. Subsequent partners really enjoying has proved to me that I wasn't... she just didn't like oral.

She never got off from it, and is the only woman I've ever gone down on that didn't. This had something to do with her not being able to let her self-consciousness go. She literally thought those parts of her were nasty and so my going down on her made her uncomfortable. It never made much sense to me, because I *love* going down on a woman.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

lots of women think having a guy go down on them is gross or they dont get anything out of it. 
I didnt see the point of oral til I got with SO and he insisted I let him try it at least once.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

LoriC said:


> Wow, so you dont like oral on you Lady? You by far are the most interesting woman I have ever to meet. I would take oral on me every day if I could! My H says he loves going down and thank god for that!


It surprised me that I did come to like it. I would never have allowed it otherwise LOL. I don't understand why HE likes it and for a long time thought he only did it because he thought he should or because I was coming to like it.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It surprised me that I did come to like it. I would never have allowed it otherwise LOL. I don't understand why HE likes it and for a long time thought he only did it because he thought he should or because I was coming to like it.


Phew! You scared me there for a minute.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

ScarletBegonias said:


> lots of women think having a guy go down on them is gross or they dont get anything out of it.
> )


We deal with all of the stuff that comes out of there. It is the least sexy place IMO. Functional, not sexy at all. Not even pretty...just meh. My boobs are way hotter LOL


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Hmm. So you don't blow his mind. And you're ok with that as long as he loves you enough not to ask. How perfectly adequate.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Hmm. So you don't blow his mind. And you're ok with that as long as he loves you enough not to ask. How perfectly adequate.


Oh I blow his mind. :smthumbup:

Just on my terms.


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## GettingThere2013 (Mar 28, 2013)

Swallow. Definitely swallow. The taste doesn't bother me so much. It took a few times to get use to the texture. It makes his orgasm that much more intense, which makes mine more intense, and there's less mess to clean up afterwards. It's a win win at my house.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Oh I blow his mind. :smthumbup:
> 
> Just on my terms.


I'm sure you do.


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

I enjoy giving bjs on a few different levels.

First, i am very orally fixated, and just love the mouth sensation of his shape and texture.
Second, i am fascinated by his anatomy, and giving head gets me up close and personal to be dazzled by his magical growing member, its leaps and throbs, etc.
That leads me to the third: freestyle tantric c*ck worship. I honor the Sacred Masculine by learning him and pleasuring him to the dizziest heights. It is a sublime ritual of empowerment for my expression of the Divine Feminine.
Lastly, oral sex offers an opportunity to release and reset sexual shaming for each of us. For me, i enjoy the release from "responsibility" for my intense sexuality. I go into sub space instantly when he dominates me during a bj. Seriously an apex state!

Dribbling, swallowing, and taking loads are all just variations on a theme, hubby will ask for his preference of the moment, i do it his way if i feel up to it, or i make sure he's ok if i take an easier way out. I think the lack of scarcity makes the question moot for us.

Tips:
Guys, shave your balls and groom your pelt just like you like your lady to clean up the bushiness. More attractive and larger-looking, less surface area for b.o-causing bacteria, no hairs stuck in her mouth. Tell her or ask her whichever style works better, where she'd like to receive your load. Do the pineapple diet thing. Be really complimentary and appreciate her Divine Feminine gift to you.

Ladies, try playing with organic honey. Tastes great, mildly antibacterial, and moisturizing. If he wants you to enjoy it like a tasty treat, why not make it one? Honey is, in my experience, way better than any sex product or food. The taste merges with the man's natural musk, and the honey melts into a delicious lube.

If you gag when he goes deep or when you taste the precum, try taking a nice deep breath next time you come up for air, then gently blow while you slide down on him. Making little om nom nom noises and am Aum-type groan keeps the throat chakra relaxed, open, and in a state of goodness.

My husband and i enjoy non-orgasm-focused bjs, and sex in general, too. We call them "comfort sucks". We just cuddle on the sofa and i will just enjoy him orally in a very lazy, slow, and gentle way, stopping and starting as we feel like it. It's not such a crisis or high drama! It's everyday livin' and lovin'.

Hope those tips help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

salamander said:


> My husband and i enjoy non-orgasm-focused bjs, and sex in general, too. We call them "comfort sucks". We just cuddle on the sofa and i will just enjoy him orally in a very lazy, slow, and gentle way, stopping and starting as we feel like it. It's not such a crisis or high drama! It's everyday livin' and lovin'.
> 
> Hope those tips help.


My wife does the same..
For a while I was thinking maybe I'm odd.
But oral doesn't always go " till finish."
Sometimes she just likes * playing* with it.
Definitely a turn for her [ and me.]


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> My wife does the same..
> For a while I was thinking maybe I'm odd.
> But oral doesn't always go " till finish."
> Sometimes she just likes * playing* with it.
> Definitely a turn for her [ and me.]


It is fun, isn't it? Arousing and relaxing at the same time.

Another fun game we play, we call "timer". I hold a dial-style kitchen timer, the kind you turn past ten min then adjust to set the exact time. I turn it on, then dial in an unknown time without looking. When it rings, i get to orallytease him but not let him orgasm. It is a rush, having the control of teasing him to that point, then taking a break. Awesome, awesome foreplay funtimes, that, again, take the emphasis off of "oh now where will she let me shoot it???? Panic!". By the time he cums, he is like putty in my hands and will finish however i cry out for him to!

More tips that i forgot before:
Men: wash up just before with scented soap. I like when hubby uses Dr. Bronners on hot summer days, it gives him, as we like to call them, "minty fresh ballz". The men's sandlewood shower gel that he got for his birthday was also a treat for my senses. Premptively shower without being asked to. Shower-fresh is best no matter who's going down on whom.

Ladies, have you tried this one? Make your mouth as big and cavernous as possible, hold him at the base, and put as much of his length in there without touching, the only thing that's allowed to touch is the tip of his head to the back of your throat. Breathe deep, hot breaths and explore the parts of the back of your mouth that enjoy being touched and opened up.

In fact, exploring gently to "find the sweet spot" is the best part of new positions and practices. There is even a "sweet spot" to find in anal, where the penis just softly glides into a welcoming place. It's obvious in PIV, we are used to being mindful of which trajectories are "sweet" and which are abrupt or bang against your walls the wrong way. I saw something on a Karezza site that said, "never shove the penis into her. Place it in her entrance and it will use its own wisdom to find the right way".

That being said, shoving it in IS ncalled for for the cathartic shadow work side of rougher oral sex. And i love that, too. It is like a private badge to me when the inside of my upper lip is a little cut from covering my teeth.

As far as avoiding discomfort at all costs: is that loving or not? I'd rather point out that discomfort is a necessary feature of life, especially a life of growth and lifelong learning. My husand and i put up with all sorts of discomforts out of commitment to one another, not just in the bedroom. And sometimes boundaries get crossed, toes get stepped on, tears, fights, etc--we don't just give up. Sometimes you can't avoid discomfort, like my husband has to brave the daily grind for me every day, and i have to manage the household and grow in my career. It's being a team player. I also think of it as being Willing vs. Being Willful. Both are expressions of my free will, but only one results in mutual bonding and satisfaction. *unless of course dysfunction/abuse are mucking up the system.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

salamander said:


> As far as avoiding discomfort at all costs: is that loving or not? I'd rather point out that discomfort is a necessary feature of life, especially a life of growth and lifelong learning. My husand and i put up with all sorts of discomforts out of commitment to one another, not just in the bedroom. * And sometimes boundaries get crossed, toes get stepped on, tears, fights, etc--we don't just give up.* Sometimes you can't avoid discomfort, like my husband has to brave the daily grind for me every day, and i have to manage the household and grow in my career. It's being a team player. I also think of it as being Willing vs. Being Willful. Both are expressions of my free will, but only one results in mutual bonding and satisfaction. *unless of course dysfunction/abuse are mucking up the system.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It depends on the boundaries. I think everyone has some that are flexible and some that are rigid. I don't think it is ever ok to cross the RIGID boundaries, no matter who it is. People have these for a reason...and crossing them only builds up mistrust and/or resentment. And, you can be very willing PARTNERS, who wish to grow together, without having to cross boundaries. Some of us have that sort of relationship. It doesn't make ours any less loving than any other.

As for your tips... 
1. Gagging. Not everyone can do what you suggested. No matter what is tried, some of us cannot get past the gag reflex. Even numbing the back of the throat only lessens it...never fully removes it. In addition to that, one would have to buy into this "chakra" stuff you mentioned...which I do not.

2. Pineapples. Sorry, it doesn't work for everyone, again. All of these "tips" to improve the taste of semen do NOT work with everyone. Every time I see this list of things to try to improve the taste, I laugh... because not. one. works. in my own experience.

3. Honey. Too sweet for me. I can't tolerate that much sugar. So... that's a no-go for someone who can't tolerate sugars.

4. Cavernous mouth. Relating to that gag reflex mentioned previously... not everyone can handle the tip touching the back of the mouth because they gag. It's just fact. And, small mouths + large penis isn't going to work for "no sides touching" oral. But, if it works for you, more power to you.

5. Penis-led anal? Using its wisdom to find the "anal sweet spot"? You know what? Never mind, I don't want to know. That's just...wow. Never mind.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

About the anal, there are things you can do to where the penetration doesn't hurt nearly so much. I've never tried it, personally, but I've heard other women talk about it. Anal and rimming are the only two things I am just not comfortable with at this point in my life. Maybe when I have my midlife crisis I'll examine my boundaries and give my husband his ultimate fantasy. lol.

Until then, he's gonna get the best oral he's ever had in his life.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> No, not really. I'm content in my own world views. I just really like to argue
> 
> I like to have other view points presented to me, as I know I am very different from other people. Sometimes my attitude shifts as a result. But not usually. I'm very stubborn and sure of my own right-ness.


Have you ever taken a self evaluation for Asperger's syndrome?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> My H enjoys a bj as much as any guy, which is why I do them. But it is something *I* give him, so it has to be on my terms. And my terms are that he keeps his stuff to himself. No amount of emotion on my part are going to transform the fluid into something other than what it is.


So if you have such an aversion to "his stuff" how do you handle pre-ejaculate?


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## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

In my past, I always swallowed. If "it" wasn't deposited on my face of breasts (for his pleasure). 

I really don't like to swallow though. It's not a psychological thing. Not to sound like a *****, but I do enjoy his cum. It's a beautiful thing. But it physically makes me gag. I will do it. To give my man a thrill...but it doesn't feel good to me. I have tried to enjoy it but it feels like hot snot in my mouth, and I just gag.

I think...as long as the oral sex is very good...spitting or swallowing shouldn't matter too much. If my man feels rejected if I don't swallow, I'm so sorry. I give an amazing blow job. I hope he's happy with that and my efforts to swallow. But if I gag, I gag. I can't help it. I've tried. The consistency and the heat...makes me gag.

I love my man. I love giving him oral. I do it enthusiastically....and if I go from reviews...I do it well. But the swallow is tough.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Catherine602 said:


> *There is obviously a reason so many women have issues with the taste, consistency and temperature of cum. It's unpleasent to have in the mouth.*
> 
> *Its not sefishness or lack of love and acceptence.* The fact that there are so many threads deal with men wanting with it with a reluctant partner is disturbing.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


So much awesome in this post. I bow to the queen....she said everything I was trying to say but without pi$$ing in everyone's cornflakes.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> T
> Maybe its a holdover from an old concept. Sex is something a woman gives for the pleasure of her partner. Her pleasure is a bonus but not a given.


A lot of it is also due to the influence of porn. Not that porn is a bad thing . 
But some men / women are unable to differentiate.
People in porn are highly paid actors.
They are being _paid _to swallow or whatever.

But the sexual dynamics vary from couple to couple. Some women actually want to swallow, [ I have been with such ] others are repulsed.

But honestly,I know that if I were femele it would be repulsive to me.

That's why I never brought up the subject matter with my wife.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

Every time I read this thread it always reminds me of

Divinity Roxx - Bass Improvisation & Freestyle Rap - YouTube


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> Its not sefishness or lack of love and acceptence. The fact that there are so many threads deal with men wanting with it with a reluctant partner is disturbing.
> 
> The expectation seems the antithesis of love and mutual satisfaction, no? Maybe the reason that bj's are more infrequent than desired.


No one said not swallowing IS selfish, lacking love or acceptance. The acceptance issue is WHY some men want it. It is an act speaks directly to desire and total acceptance. "WOW, look what she did for me... "

Its not thinking that someone is selfish or unaccepting for NOT doing it anymore than someone is unloving for not buying flowers. There are many ways to show affection, and this is just one. One that some guys want. It plays to the notion that "she's so into me that she'd do anything for me". Most women I know want the same feeling from their husband. Acts that demonstrate willingness to go above and beyond just for her.

Mutually given, that's love imo. Certainly not the antithesis of love and mutual satisfaction. Its like a woman saying "My husband buys me jewelry, but I want flowers. He won't buy me flowers because he says they just die and they're just a waste of money." To me, love isn't doing the things you want to do for someone... love is doing the things THEY want.



Catherine602 said:


> Why is the recipient made to feel bad about not wanting to swallow?
> Isn't that a strange dynamic? It presupposes that sex should have sacrificial elements especially for women.
> 
> A woman has to prove her love and acceptence by sexual sacrifice? Why?


Who is saying you should feel bad for not swallowing?? And yes, sex has sacrificial elements. Hell, do I enjoy going down on a woman because it makes my tongue feel awesome? No. I enjoy the pleasure she gets out of it, but I get no benefit. I don't massage her back because it makes my hands feel great. In fact, my tongue and my hands get worn out sometimes... its a sacrifice I make for her pleasure. Heck, I don't like receiving massages myself... so I guess I shouldn't give them? :\

This is far too economic. Its sex, not bartering.



Catherine602 said:


> She could easily get an orgasm before a bj but that is not how it is commonly practiced.


Many women simply do not *easily* orgasm, period. Many women know this and don't even seek oral exchanges... they just want to quickly drive their man crazy while he's sitting on the couch. My ex wife for example NEVER could orgasm from oral. The only women I've been with I could not make cum from oral sex. Does that mean she should have never gotten me off from oral?



Catherine602 said:


> The common practice is that men expect to have an orgasm with all sexual contact with women. OS to a woman is followed by PIV or oral sex for him.
> 
> She could easily get an orgasm before a bj but that is not how it is commonly practiced. Not only that, she may be subjected to resentment and attitude if she does not sacrifice further, by swallowing. Why is that?
> 
> Maybe its a holdover from an old concept. Sex is something a woman gives for the pleasure of her partner. Her pleasure is a bonus but not a given.


Oh God, back to the woe-is-me-women-are-victims-pity-parade. Honestly, this is a tangent that has nothing to do with swallowing or not swallowing.

Why is it common practice that men expect orgasms? Because a large number of women simply aren't going to orgasm every time they have sex and it has nothing to do with what the guy is doing. Some days, it just isn't gonna happen. In fact, expectation of her to have an orgasm can often prevent her from having an orgasm. Hell, I've even been with a woman who gave me a disclaimer in advance that she never orgasms! She just couldn't, on her own, with a toy, or with anyone else. She didn't want me to think that she wasn't into me or that I wasn't good enough.

While I'm sure I'll get some immature bs comments about my sexual skills, the fact of the matter is that women who have difficulty reaching orgasm are not uncommon. I'd say its in the neighborhood of 20-30% who have trouble getting there relatively often. Men who have difficulty reaching orgasm are very uncommon. Its happened to me a couple times in my life and it wasn't ME who was let down, it was HER... thinking I couldn't orgasm because something was wrong with her or I wasn't that interested in her. Insanity! It just wasn't happening that day for whatever reason... oh well, move on. While some women cum easily, as a whole, they take more time than men. All orgasms are not created equally.  Maybe you're right and everything really should be equal. When I have an orgasm after X minutes of oral, she gets X minutes of oral. Don't like it that way do you? But that would be fair, no? No... we men give that extra time... we put in that extra work to make sure you cum... even if it takes you 2, 3... even 4 times longer than it took us. Its not even, but you don't see us whining about it even on the occasions our tongue has gone numb. Its a small sacrifice for her pleasure.

I've given oral with nothing in return MANY MANY times... even taking off at lunch just to go lick my girlfriend who has the day off and is still laying in bed. No time to get me back babe, this was just for you. In fact, most of the time when a woman WANTS to go down on me, she doesn't even WANT anything back. Its not a matter of tit for tat, keeping score and making sure we're all even.

If you're not getting the pleasure you desire from someone, tell them! If you still don't get it, find someone else!! Its that simple! If a woman gives head and doesn't ask for it in return if she wants it, or doesn't demand that sometimes her pleasure come with no expectation of reciprocity... and yet stays with the guy who is not GIVING her pleasure... THATS HER FAULT, not his.

The pity parade will always blame men and society, but its women who choose these things for themselves and need to take responsibility for themselves. You want different from what your guy is giving you? Ask for it. Require it. Expect it. Not getting it? Leave.

Men and society at large aren't going to do it for you, and the idea that a woman's pleasure is just a bonus rather than an expectation only exists if you allow it to. Women need to start owning their own sexuality and quit blaming everything on men and society.

Last I checked, you don't have to keep blowing a guy who never gets you back... nor do you have to keep seeing Mr. Selfish.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

I honestly do not know if it's a cultural thing or what but all the filippina girls I've dated including my ex wife and present wife have had noooo issues with swallowing !!!??? Like I've said my wife considers it her just " reward " 

Is it them or am I just the luckiest guy on Earth  ?? I do go to Church every Sunday so perhaps that's the reason why I've been sooo ummmmm fortunate ?????


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Omgitsjoe said:


> Like I've said my wife considers it her just " reward "


I have no idea why, but its hot as hell isn't it???? Sure beats finishing with a hand job (okay, sometimes its fun to make a mess too) or running off to spit. Maybe this is why women who can do a shot are so sexy to me. lol


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Luckily my husband has never had any problem with me not swallowing (do occasionally but the texture gets to me most of the time).


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I have no idea why, but its hot as hell isn't it???? Sure beats finishing with a hand job (okay, sometimes its fun to make a mess too) or running off to spit. Maybe this is why women who can do a shot are so sexy to me. lol


Yes i've always found it to be very sexy when a woman does enjoy the " swallow " ....... I guess it goes against the " grain " so to speak thus why we enjoy it even more so PLUS with us being so " porn " oriented it seems to be more " abnormal " if a woman doesnt enjoy ???? I'm just very blessed that my wife now if anything savors and is very " pro " semen !!!!!


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

TiggyBlue said:


> Luckily my husband has never had any problem with me not swallowing (do occasionally but the texture gets to me most of the time).


Yeah, but you do it occassionally, I'm sure he's very appreciative. 

I don't think anyone has a problem with not swallowing. Its just that swallowing is pretty awesome. Its just a mental thing.

Now, finishing with a hand job all the time I'd have a problem with. Its simply not as physically satisfying.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I didn't even know people didn't swallow until I came to TAM


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Omgitsjoe said:


> Yes i've always found it to be very sexy when a woman does enjoy the " swallow " ....... I guess it goes against the " grain " so to speak thus why we enjoy it even more so PLUS with us being so " porn " oriented it seems to be more " abnormal " if a woman doesnt enjoy ???? I'm just very blessed that my wife now if anything savors and is very " pro " semen !!!!!


I don't know that its orientation to porn... I doubt it. I mean, women who never watch porn tell me its awesome the way I go down as if its my favorite dessert. Of course its not actually this delicious taste... but its a mental state I choose to have and as such, I've really come to enjoy a woman's flavor. The fact that I "enjoy" the taste does matter to women I've been with.

I choose to have a positive mental state. I choose to go with no inhibitions and no reservations. This imo, makes sex a million times better. I think sex is as much mental as it is physical.

Heck, beer was pretty nasty the first time I had one. Glad I didn't let that one stick.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

Dollystanford said:


> I didn't even know people didn't swallow until I came to TAM


Should I propose now or do I have to fly to the UK and do it in person?


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

I swallow if I feel like it, but if I don't, I don't exactly 'spit' either. 

I kinda just let it come out and go wherever. I'm sure some of you can imagine what I mean...


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## WadeWilson (Jul 4, 2010)

The willingness to keep an open view and to try goes a great distance, the ability to do it would be a bonus. What I'm trying to say, if one is willing to try despite hang ups, it would mean a lot, one does not have to be a pro and do it every single time, just have enough to say they will try knowing it means that much to them.

As far as it being suggested because its unpleasant to a partner, I have my expectations before I even know a person, yet if its discovered what I like, enjoy, measure or define as bonding turns out to be something that is disgusting or whatever to them, then I suppose we would have to find a middle ground. Now, if that same person refuses to meet halfway, then they would not be the one for me. I doubt that every one of these situations is a guy thinking "Hey! My wife hates CIM, so I want her to swallow just to show me she loves me.", it was more than likely something he wanted with the person he spends his life with, befor he met them.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Catherine602 said:


> I didn't know people did swallow until I came to TAM! I thought it tasted so bad no one in their right mind would swallow it. I learned a lot from this forum.


Same here. I thought only porn stars and prostitutes did it.


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## DaddyLongShanks (Nov 6, 2012)

Catherine602 said:


> I didn't know people did swallow until I came to TAM! I thought it tasted so bad no one in their right mind would swallow it. I learned a lot from this forum.


Well Rocky Balboa swallowed raw eggs in the movie "Rocky", and it didn't taste good or have a favorable texture...


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Dollystanford said:


> I didn't even know people didn't swallow until I came to TAM


This makes things difficult.


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## Goldmember357 (Jan 31, 2012)

gbrad said:


> So 3 or 4 BJ's a year would not be good enough for you? What if everything else in the marriage were great?


No I love head, I like pleasing and being pleased. I can't be with someone who thinks they are too good to please me but yet is fine with being pleased. That's selfishness on their part

You can always find someone else who fulfills your needs. Trust me every happily married person could find someone else they mesh with perfectly. We don't like to think like this, but its true there are enough people on earth.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

*Re: Re: To swallow or to spit!*



notmarriedyet said:


> I swallow if I feel like it, but if I don't, I don't exactly 'spit' either.
> 
> I kinda just let it come out and go wherever. I'm sure some of you can imagine what I mean...


I am oh so trying my best not to get a visual of this uuuummm mess


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## kcait (Jan 31, 2013)

I have never swallowed and don't think I could stomach it. I'm very happy to offer frequent bj's and Im really discreet about "spitting" the remnants. It's not like I'm sprinting to the bathroom...
My question is, what if a woman "ejaculated" up to 3 tsp (that is significant) and imagine if it were also thick? Could most men swallow that? I'm not so sure.....?


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## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

I can totally understand the psychology behind a man liking a woman to swallow his cum. You can't blame a guy, right? It's gotta be a turn-on.

At the same time, I imagine if a man's mouth and throat were squirted with a large amount of hot snot every time he went down, many men would choose not to swallow such a deposit.

I do think it's sexier to swallow than spit. I could take a bath in my husband's cum and be in bliss...but large amounts (my husband is both a heavy lubricator - to the point we don't need lube for anal...and a heavy ejaculator) and swallowing simply gives me an INvoluntarily gag reflex in me. I honestly can't help it. Hot snot. Hot snot. Hot snot. I cannot emphasize enough that this is how it feels to me. If someone shot their hot snot down your throat, you wouldn't gag? lol

I'm actually fascinated by cum...it's a lifegiving substance...it's evidence of intense pleasure...it's evidence of passion and love and feels good inside your vagina or anus or even rubbed over your body. It just doesn't feel quite so lovely in your mouth lol

I'll still do it though. I like to make my man happy.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Catherine602 said:


> She could easily get an orgasm before a bj but that is not how it is commonly practiced. Not only that, she may be subjected to resentment and attitude if she does not sacrifice further, by swallowing. Why is that?


Don't presume your experience with a man / men is universal. Sorry your luck has been bad in that regard. 

It is at least 5:1 in my marriage with regards to time spent with cunnilingus vs BJ. MOST BJ's end up with her getting hers too, either before or after.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

SouthernMiss said:


> At the same time, I imagine if a man's mouth and throat were squirted with a large amount of hot snot every time he went down, many men would choose not to swallow such a deposit.


By that logic, gay men wouldn't give each other frequent BJ's and swallow.

Somehow I don't think that's true.


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## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> By that logic, gay men wouldn't give each other frequent BJ's and swallow.
> 
> Somehow I don't think that's true.


I acknowledge that point. At the same time, I don't know that all gay men swallow either.


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

That's quite an interesting point actually. I wonder if you get the same sort of discussions on gay sex boards

Now I'm going to have to google


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## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

Dollystanford said:


> That's quite an interesting point actually. I wonder if you get the same sort of discussions on gay sex boards
> 
> Now I'm going to have to google



Careful what you Google...you could end up with some vulgar search results....ok, anything in the name of research lol

Yes, though, it is an interesting point though. I'm interested in what you learn.

I hadn't thought of the issue in that context.


----------



## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

Well, it seems the answer is yes you get EXACTLY the same conversations (I assume it's ok to post a link but will take down if not)

Real Jock Gay forum - Spit or Swallow


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## SouthernMiss (Apr 25, 2013)

That's funny...someone was saying the same thing as me...hot snot lol

I really am not averse to a facial or any number of "fun" ways to end a BJ. And I will swallow. My husband doesn't have a bad taste either. Best I've swallowed so far. But it's still hot snot, no matter how you dress it up...lmao


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

Cheer up, semen has antdepressant compounds in it 

Attention, Ladies: Semen Is An Antidepressant | Psychology Today
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

*Re: To swallow or to spit*



Catherine602 said:


> With sex of all activities between men and women. Sex, that should be intensely pleasurable and a bonding experience in LTR. The reluctant swallower is not having an intensely pleasurable experience.* Bonding? I don't know if it possible to feel bonding with a person who is unhappy if you don't do something unpleasant.*
> 
> I'd feel like I am dealing with a two year-old who I need to placate to prevent a tantrum. It would be hard for me to want to have sex with a man who seemed to lack control and the ability to see out side of himself.


My^^^point exactly!
The bonding can only occur if the person wants to swallow this stuff and attach some significance to it, along with their partner.
In other words, the two must be on the same wavelength.
These things are very intimate acts.
everyone has different tolerance levels.
Experimentation is good , going beyond comfort zones and so forth. But there needs to be a delicate balance, the ability to understand the other person's perspective.

I don't think the " _so what everybody's doing it approach_ " is a good one here.


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

Keep it in your mouth and then spit it when he tries to snog.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Suspecting said:


> Keep it in your mouth and then spit it when he tries to snog.


:iagree:

Or maybe even french him with it in your mouth..
That's supposed to go well if his real intention is bonding.....


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

or as we call it 'snowballing'


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

My wife always swallows because she knows I love it and it complete the BJ from her. She does this for me and has her fav drink right beside her on the night stand or table. When I go down on her, I get right in there and usually can give her an orgasm. I never complain about the odor and lick her thighs and go crazy. It's give and take on both sides, compromise and neither are a box of chocolates.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

kcait said:


> I have never swallowed and don't think I could stomach it. I'm very happy to offer frequent bj's and Im really discreet about "spitting" the remnants. It's not like I'm sprinting to the bathroom...
> My question is, what if a woman "ejaculated" up to 3 tsp (that is significant) and imagine if it were also thick? Could most men swallow that? I'm not so sure.....?


Its not uncommon for men to down shots called horrible things like "Prairie fire" (tequila & tabasco) and "Dirty Mexican Hooker" (tequila, tabasco and tuna fish juice)... and a shot is 2.5-3 TABLEspoons.

And this doesn't even give anyone pleasure.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

DaddyLongShanks said:


> Well Rocky Balboa swallowed raw eggs in the movie "Rocky", and it didn't taste good or have a favorable texture...


Euuuu raw eggs may be contaminated with Salmonella bacteria from chicken feces. It causes a nasty infection. Thanks anyway. I'd rather swallow.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Woke up my H this morning with an awesome BJ! And yes I swallowed. 

Then wished him a Happy 22 year Anniversary!


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## Suspecting (Jan 8, 2013)

Good JOB!


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

*Re: Re: To swallow or to spit!*



LoriC said:


> Woke up my H this morning with an awesome BJ! And yes I swallowed.
> 
> Then wished him a Happy 22 year Anniversary!


If only every wife would do this I bet the divorce rate here in America would be cut in half


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

LoriC said:


> Woke up my H this morning with an awesome BJ! And yes I swallowed.
> 
> Then wished him a Happy 22 year Anniversary!


:allhail:

This has been a fantasy of mine (sad that something so tame is a fantasy IMO) and has been since before I married my now ex-wife. So for roughly 16 years or so this has been a fantasy of mine.

So I guess that means this morning is opportunity number 5,840 for someone to fulfill this fantasy for me gone by.

Why the **** is it so hard to even get a BJ for some guys? I don't even care if you spit or swallow.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

kingsfan said:


> :allhail:
> 
> This has been a fantasy of mine (sad that something so tame is a fantasy IMO) and has been since before I married my now ex-wife. So for roughly 16 years or so this has been a fantasy of mine.
> 
> ...


I absolutely LOVE to do this for him. It is so arousing for me to bring him this amazing pleasure!


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

LoriC said:


> Woke up my H this morning with an awesome BJ! And yes I swallowed.
> 
> Then wished him a Happy 22 year Anniversary!


This is AWESOME!! 

I would LOVE for my W to do this, but then again, I'd be kind of uncomfortable because my balls sweat and have a smidge of an odor. It's nothing potent or foul, but it's something I'm aware of. Usually, I wash up a bit before we do anything, so I wouldn't want her to have a bad experience that would turn her off to performing oral on me.

Regarding swallowing, I suppose it would be great to know that she wants ALL of me, but that's not what makes the BJ feels good. An orgasm's most intense point from a BJ is right before the explosion. I've tried to tell her to allow my cum to drip down onto the towel, but she says that I cum too much and she can't handle it. As a result, she rarely does it. Oddly enough, she kind of likes facials as long as it doesn't get in her mouth.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

We have been doing the pineapple thing She says it works She can tell the difference She love to please me.

Man I love that woman


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

just got it 55 said:


> We have been doing the pineapple thing She says it works She can tell the difference She love to please me.
> 
> Man I love that woman


How long have you had that and what a difference has it made in your life? ( "She love to please me" )


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

I just did a BJ/69 with hubs and DIDN'T swallow. No complaints were issued. 


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I just did a BJ/69 with hubs and DIDN'T swallow. No complaints were issued.
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You seem like the type if you do it, your going to do it right. No swallowing is necessary, especially if it's high quality work.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

treyvion said:


> How long have you had that and what a difference has it made in your life? ( "She love to please me" )


 About 3 months now .We are in a really great place at the moment. I think she has always enjoyed pleasing me But now it's over the top.Not seeing many unsolicited BJ'S yet But maybe they are in the future.She says I am pleasantly sweet 

Like I said Man I love that woman


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

just got it 55 said:


> About 3 months now .We are in a really great place at the moment. I think she has always enjoyed pleasing me But now it's over the top.Not seeing many unsolicited BJ'S yet But maybe they are in the future.She says I am pleasantly sweet
> 
> Like I said Man I love that woman


Are you doing the same thing for her?


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

treyvion said:


> You seem like the type if you do it, your going to do it right. No swallowing is necessary, especially if it's high quality work.


I'm the type that does things on my terms or not at all. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I'm the type that does things on my terms or not at all.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You seem like that type. It's all going to be done your way, not their way, unless it happens to be your way. That's not fun at all.

You know you can relinquish some of the power of control feeling ( i know it feels like cocaine ), and replace it with a power of blowing hubs mind. You can get the same lift from it, from the value you add to his life - in your power in being able to do so.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

treyvion said:


> You seem like that type. It's all going to be done your way, not their way, unless it happens to be your way. That's not fun at all.
> 
> You know you can relinquish some of the power of control feeling ( i know it feels like cocaine ), and replace it with a power of blowing hubs mind. You can get the same lift from it, from the value you add to his life - in your power in being able to do so.


No, I don't do things my way because of a feeling of power or control. I don't get any lift. I just see no reason to do things any other way. If there were a good reason to, I would consider it. I am not unreasonable. I do need a reason, a good reason, to do things other than my own way, however.
In the case of spit vs swallow, it isn't even an issue as I don't allow him to finish in my mouth at all and I don't see any reason to change. I've tried it, didn't like it, won't do it again. But he likes BJ's and I'm not adverse to giving them, so I do it my way. And like I said, no complaints have been issued. Dh understands the aesthetic issues at hand.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> In the case of spit vs swallow, it isn't even an issue as I don't allow him to finish in my mouth at all and I don't see any reason to change. I've tried it, didn't like it, won't do it again.


The topic of thread is spit vs. swallow. The difference between those two is mainly in the head. But not finishing a BJ is a HUGE difference in satisfaction. Just as it's getting to the best point the stimulation goes away. Yeah, ejaculation will still happen, but it's NOTHING like finishing with the stimulation still there.



LadyOfTheLake said:


> But he likes BJ's and I'm not adverse to giving them, so I do it my way. And like I said, no complaints have been issued. Dh understands the aesthetic issues at hand.


Just curious, how would you feel if he started turning them down?

I have. Wifey doesn't like it at all.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> The topic of thread is spit vs. swallow. The difference between those two is mainly in the head. But not finishing a BJ is a HUGE difference in satisfaction. Just as it's getting to the best point the stimulation goes away. Yeah, ejaculation will still happen, but it's NOTHING like finishing with the stimulation still there.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm not going to jump on LOTL. Just wanted to say, what if he'll let you suck him your way only if he gets to suck you his way.

Most of us are understanding that a female doesn't necessarily have to swallow as part of a blowjob. It's an icing on the cake for some people but some of the ladies just cannot bring them self to do it, and that's fine.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> The topic of thread is spit vs. swallow. The difference between those two is mainly in the head. But not finishing a BJ is a HUGE difference in satisfaction. Just as it's getting to the best point the stimulation goes away. Yeah, ejaculation will still happen, but it's NOTHING like finishing with the stimulation still there.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You know hookers don't allow CIM? Not usually anyway. I don't see why wives would do what a hooker doesn't have to. 



It wouldn't phase me a bit if he turned it down. If he didn't want it, fine by me. Why would I care?:scratchhead:


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

treyvion said:


> I'm not going to jump on LOTL. Just wanted to say, what if he'll let you suck him your way only if he gets to suck you his way.
> 
> .


He does what he wants when he's down there. I have no preferences and wouldn't think to tell him what to do. It's his mouth. I still don't understand why he wants to do it at all, so I just let him do what he wants. No expectations or requirements so long as he doesn't do anything that is painful to me.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> If he didn't want it, fine by me.


Ahhhh, it's not a case of not wanting it.... it's a case of not wanting 1/2 of the job and then left unsatisfied at the end.



LadyOfTheLake said:


> Why would I care?:scratchhead:


If you're OK getting more out of oral than him, OK. Hope it works out for you.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> He does what he wants when he's down there. I have no preferences and wouldn't think to tell him what to do. It's his mouth. I still don't understand why he wants to do it at all, so I just let him do what he wants. No expectations or requirements so long as he doesn't do anything that is painful to me.


Both of you can both explore and do what you want, but you can also guide each other to be able to apply pressure and touch spots that work best for each other. No fighting at all.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Both of you can both explore and do what you want, but you can also guide each other to be able to apply pressure and touch spots that work best for each other. No fighting at all.


Oh he gives instructions, faster, slower, harder, stop, go, LOL. I don't mind usually.
I don't, I just let him enjoy whatever he's doing. I don't feel comfortable telling him what to do. Like I said, it's his mouth, it's his thing he's doing. I wouldn't tell him what to do, it's up to him to do what he pleases, so long as it is not painful to me.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> *You know hookers don't allow CIM? Not usually anyway. I don't see why wives would do what a hooker doesn't have to. *
> 
> 
> 
> It wouldn't phase me a bit if he turned it down. If he didn't want it, fine by me. Why would I care?:scratchhead:


Very bizarre thought process there. You just don't get it that some women want to do this, that they crave their partner and that they desire to give their partner the most mind blowing experience they can.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Oh he gives instructions, faster, slower, harder, stop, go, LOL. I don't mind usually.
> I don't, I just let him enjoy whatever he's doing. I don't feel comfortable telling him what to do. Like I said, it's his mouth, it's his thing he's doing. I wouldn't tell him what to do, it's up to him to do what he pleases, so long as it is not painful to me.


which makes no sense if he is doing something to please you or are you saying him giving you oral is just for him?


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## ginger-snap (Apr 10, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Oh he gives instructions, faster, slower, harder, stop, go, LOL. I don't mind usually.
> I don't, I just let him enjoy whatever he's doing. I don't feel comfortable telling him what to do. Like I said, it's his mouth, it's his thing he's doing. I wouldn't tell him what to do, it's up to him to do what he pleases, so long as it is not painful to me.


I'm so envious. My husband doesn't "do" oral, period. Giving or receiving. You have both and seem to take no joy in it.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

ginger-snap said:


> I'm so envious. My husband doesn't "do" oral, period. Giving or receiving. You have both and seem to take no joy in it. [/QUOTE)
> 
> I'm sorry for you! So my complaints will not seem like a problem to you but it's been bugging me.
> 
> I love giving my H oral but to be honest I'm not quite sure he feels the same about giving it to me. Sure he has told me that he likes it but I often have to ask him to go down. He has made comments to the effect that I don't O from them so I guess he may feel like "why should he bother then". I absolutely love it when he gives me oral. I tried to explain to him that it feels awesome the whole time he is down there. Which brings me to another point. He doesn't stay there for long at all. Complains that his jaw hurts. He used to make more of an effort and be down there for quite a while but no more. I have brought this up to him also but he still says he just can't because it hurts his jaw.


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## ginger-snap (Apr 10, 2013)

> I'm sorry for you! So my complaints will not seem like a problem to you but it's been bugging me.


I'm sorry for me too!  I decided long ago that I was ok without receiving it because I knew he didn't like giving it before we got married. I seriously thought about this, but really didn't have that much experience in getting it, and our sex life back then was great otherwise. But, when I was told recently he didn't like receiving, I was a little hurt. Not that I had a lot of experience giving either because he wouldn't let me try very often, so perhaps I was just really bad at it, but sometimes I wish he was more open to trying/learning/experimenting. As I get older, I find myself wanting to try more, and yet our frequency has only gone downward (until very recently at least - but 2 weeks is not a trend yet). 



> I love giving my H oral but to be honest I'm not quite sure he feels the same about giving it to me. Sure he has told me that he likes it but I often have to ask him to go down. He has made comments to the effect that I don't O from them so I guess he may feel like "why should he bother then". I absolutely love it when he gives me oral. I tried to explain to him that it feels awesome the whole time he is down there. Which brings me to another point. He doesn't stay there for long at all. Complains that his jaw hurts. He used to make more of an effort and be down there for quite a while but no more. I have brought this up to him also but he still says he just can't because it hurts his jaw.


Maybe a technique book would help? There's one that came out not too long ago. Has a picture of a half of a papaya on the cover (of all things). I can't seem to recall the name or author though at the moment.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I don't understand why women do this? If it's something they like....well ok. Whatever. But from my understanding and my own experience, a man cumming in your mouth is pretty gross. Smells bad, tastes bad, feels bad.....so why do it? This does not make sense.
> And why do men WANT to do it? Do they really not understand how awful it is, or do they just not care? Are they just that focused on themselves that they think women should just "get over it" and do it anyway?
> 
> It is a repugnant act. I think any man who wants it done ought to do it first, that is, swallow some of his own. I would expect that the requests would drop by an extremely large percentage.
> ...


When you love someone... you want them to make them happy. You want to please them.

If you get married for what you can get out of a marriage. You're making a mistake.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

trigirl said:


> So does it offend you if we don't swallow???


If you don't want to swallow... Try to be discrete. Perhaps, have a hand towel close by your side. Turn your head where he can't see... spit it into your hand... turn back, make eye contact... maybe lick your lips.. tell him you love him.... as you move your hand down to your side where the hand towel is. 

Do that and you've created the illusion that you swallowed.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Holland said:


> Very bizarre thought process there. You just don't get it that some women want to do this, that they crave their partner and that they desire to give their partner the most mind blowing experience they can.


I wrote that in reply to Larry Gray who insinuated that an incomplete BJ was pointless, why even do it? To which I answered that hookers get paid to do BJ's and they don't allow CIM. Why should a wife do something that even a hooker won't do?

If a woman wants to, have at it. No, I don't understand that at all, but I don't need to. I'm content with my own views on the matter. 




> which makes no sense if he is doing something to please you or are you saying him giving you oral is just for him?


He does what he is comfortable doing. I wouldn't ask him to do anything other than what he wants to do. I can't fathom the appeal, why he wants to do that. So I leave it up to him to do as he pleases. It matters naught to me, his technique is fine.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

ginger-snap said:


> I'm so envious. My husband doesn't "do" oral, period. Giving or receiving. You have both and seem to take no joy in it.


It is what it is. I think it has become over rated in our society due to porn. It's nice but nothing worth getting too fussed over.


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It is what it is. I think it has become over rated in our society due to porn. *It's nice but nothing worth getting too fussed over*.


In that case it isn't being done well.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Lady: What happened to you in your childhood that gives you this coldness about you this detached unfeeling way about you? I'm not at all trying to offend you just trying to understand as I have read so many of your posts and would just love to understand how you became the way you are?


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## ginger-snap (Apr 10, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It is what it is. I think it has become over rated in our society due to porn. It's nice but nothing worth getting too fussed over.


Can't say I'd agree with the porn part. It's been going on *long* before the advent of modern-day porn (there are classical works of erotic art depicting all kinds of sex acts dating all the way back to ancient civilizations).


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

ginger-snap said:


> Can't say I'd agree with the porn part. It's been going on *long* before the advent of modern-day porn (there are classical works of erotic art depicting all kinds of sex acts dating all the way back to ancient civilizations).


True, this particular sex act has been done for hundreds and thousands of years.

I would like to add, good oral sex is a great addition to an already good sex life. It's somewhat different and enjoyable.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Holland said:


> In that case it isn't being done well.


Yeah, what she said. I was thinking the same exact thoughts as I read the quoted words.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

LoriC said:


> Lady: What happened to you in your childhood that gives you this coldness about you this detached unfeeling way about you? I'm not at all trying to offend you just trying to understand as I have read so many of your posts and would just love to understand how you became the way you are?


Nothing extraordinary happened to me. I've had bad things, but so does everyone. Other than a possible case of Asperger's I am not so very unusual, I don't think. Just very rational and logical. I don't believe my own personal feelings or emotions need have any bearing on anyone else, nor their's on me. I do not see why people get so caught up in emotions and sentiment, it seems pointless and counterproductive. 

I am "cold" only in that I feel that my emotions, those that I have....as it seems I don't have as many as others do, perhaps....are my own concern. Why would anyone else care to be bothered with them? Emotions are just thoughts and sensations that exist only in my own head. They don't matter at all. I can't be bothered about anyone else's, so I don't expect, or want, reciprocity. 

I have a very "hot" temper though...they say it goes with the red hair. But I am very good at controlling it. I rarely raise my voice, let alone get angry. 

I naturally tend towards detachment and being dismissive of other people. I don't understand much of common human behaviour, people seem to act so bizarrely. 

I like TAM as it provides a window into other people's lives. People far outside my own circle, which tends to be homogeneous. This site is like putting slides under a microscope, with me being able to question people about their behaviour to gain a better understanding. I learn best through debate and discourse, so this site is a real asset for me at the moment.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Nothing extraordinary happened to me. I've had bad things, but so does everyone. Other than a possible case of Asperger's I am not so very unusual, I don't think. Just very rational and logical. I don't believe my own personal feelings or emotions need have any bearing on anyone else, nor their's on me. I do not see why people get so caught up in emotions and sentiment, it seems pointless and counterproductive.
> 
> I am "cold" only in that I feel that my emotions, those that I have....as it seems I don't have as many as others do, perhaps....are my own concern. Why would anyone else care to be bothered with them? Emotions are just thoughts and sensations that exist only in my own head. They don't matter at all. I can't be bothered about anyone else's, so I don't expect, or want, reciprocity.
> 
> ...


Thank you for posting this. I won't pretend to understand going through life detached from emotions but you seem to have a handle on it.


----------



## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

treyvion said:


> True, this particular sex act has been done for hundreds and thousands of years.
> 
> I would like to add, good oral sex is a great addition to an already good sex life. It's somewhat different and enjoyable.


It only became popular in the US after WWI.

American GI's brought it back from France.


----------



## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

LoriC said:


> Thank you for posting this. I won't pretend to understand going through life detached from emotions but you seem to have a handle on it.


Prozac helps 


Before that I had plenty of very strong emotions, almost entirely negative though. And I still kept them to myself, but that caused some harm and other stuff. And I was just one nasty b*tch to be around. 

Prozac keeps everything on a nice even keel. No highs, no lows, for the most part. I can still get very emotional some times, but I don't do things like cry or make any outward sign of it. That would be humiliating to me. That's when long walks and long showers and some quiet time in the woods let me regain my equilibrium. 

And cats. Cats are very good for calming a stormy mind. 

ETA: I have taken Prozac off and on for years to treat clinical depression. Which is a physiological condition in which the body does not produce the proper hormones to maintain normal emotional stability. Prozac is an SSRI that corrects the imbalance. I do not take it for the sole purpose of becoming detached. I was detached even as a very small child, I'm told. It's just the way I am.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

ginger-snap said:


> Can't say I'd agree with the porn part. It's been going on *long* before the advent of modern-day porn (there are classical works of erotic art depicting all kinds of sex acts dating all the way back to ancient civilizations).


:iagree:

In fact, if one examines the sociological aspects of different great civilizations , they would find that they were much, much amorous and sexually adventurous than us.
Sex was a normal , integral part of their lives. It was never hidden or taboo. It was even interwoven into their religious beliefs.

Eve way back then there were aphrodisiacs , male enhancement exercises , medications for female libido ,contraceptives,rites and rituals etc.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

ginger-snap said:


> Can't say I'd agree with the porn part. It's been going on *long* before the advent of modern-day porn (there are classical works of erotic art depicting all kinds of sex acts dating all the way back to ancient civilizations).


Yes it is an ages old practice, but the popularity and fixation on it now are likely due to porn. I doubt there were many Victorian or Edwardian men threatening to divorce their wives over not getting a BJ.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ginger-snap (Apr 10, 2013)

> I doubt there were many Victorian or Edwardian men threatening to divorce their wives over not getting a BJ.


Seems to me, most people here contemplating divorce over sex are doing so because of a lack of it in any form, not specifically oral. I'm also fairly certain that divorce for anyone for any reason in the Victorian or Edwardian eras was extremely difficult and socially frowned upon, to put it mildly. So no, a lack of BJs would not have probably led to divorce back then. Men may have been just as free or perhaps more free to seek them elsewhere though.


----------



## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Nothing extraordinary happened to me. I've had bad things, but so does everyone. Other than a possible case of Asperger's I am not so very unusual, I don't think. Just very rational and logical. I don't believe my own personal feelings or emotions need have any bearing on anyone else, nor their's on me. I do not see why people get so caught up in emotions and sentiment, it seems pointless and counterproductive.
> 
> I am "cold" only in that I feel that my emotions, those that I have....as it seems I don't have as many as others do, perhaps....are my own concern. Why would anyone else care to be bothered with them? Emotions are just thoughts and sensations that exist only in my own head. They don't matter at all. I can't be bothered about anyone else's, so I don't expect, or want, reciprocity.
> 
> ...


LTOL seems to me is a fiercely independent thinker.” Great minds do not think alike great mind think for themselves”. (I wish I said that first) She presents her view not trying to persuade anybody or disabuse them from their own.

She displays to me at least that she thinks like a contrarian which I admire.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I just did a BJ/69 with hubs and DIDN'T swallow. No complaints were issued.
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Where did he finish?


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Ask any hooker why married men come to her. 90% say because their wives does not give BJs. That's the truth.


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## cincymike (Feb 4, 2010)

The series on HBO, the Cathouse, asked several of working girls how they knew if the male client was married. They all responded, the first thing the client asked for was a BJ.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> Where did he finish?


That time, PIV.

For regular BJ's we grab a tshirt or towel for him to use. Recently he said he likes to finish on me, on my breasts. I'm not adverse to that.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> ETA: I have taken Prozac off and on for years to treat clinical depression. Which is a physiological condition in which the body does not produce the proper hormones to maintain normal emotional stability. Prozac is an SSRI that corrects the imbalance. I do not take it for the sole purpose of becoming detached. I was detached even as a very small child, I'm told. It's just the way I am.


I was happy to read this edit,you had me worried for a second there.
A lot of the ways you describe yourself reminds me of my son regarding how he relates to people and emotions.He has Asperger's.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

cincymike said:


> The series on HBO, the Cathouse, asked several of working girls how they knew if the male client was married. They all responded, the first thing the client asked for was a BJ.


Why women refuse to accept the truth is beyond me. Their man would be happier. But for some it's about themselves.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> Why women refuse to accept the truth is beyond me. Their man would be happier. But for some it's about themselves.


ROFL....so the men want to make it about *them* instead? Sounds like a lose-lose situation then. 

Honestly, if your spouse doesn't want to give oral, or any other kind of sex act, you don't have the RIGHT to expect it, ask for it, beg for it, whine about it, pout about it, or carry on about it. You DO NOT HAVE THAT RIGHT. 

True love always subjugates itself for the best interests of the other person. And bodily integrity wins out over sexual desire every single time, IMO.


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

> Honestly, if your spouse doesn't want to give oral, or any other kind of sex act, you don't have the RIGHT to expect it, ask for it, beg for it, whine about it, pout about it, or carry on about it. You DO NOT HAVE THAT RIGHT.


I see this comment all of the time. What if I, as a husband, no longer want to listen to her talk about her feelings? What if I no longer want to work to support the lifestyle she so loves? Does she have the right to expect, or even ask for me to do these things?


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Some people just don't get when your married your now ONE and not two separate people.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

MrBrains said:


> Some people just don't get when your married your now ONE and not two separate people.


That sounds too much like losing yourself in the relationship.Doesn't seem healthy.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

MrBrains said:


> Some people just don't get when your married your now ONE and not two separate people.


Ok, hold on a minute right there. My husband and I view each other as one... as in one in PURPOSE. We are, in fact, still two individuals. I am Mrs., he is Mr. He has male parts, I have female parts. My DNA did not alter when we said "I do", nor did his. 

Now, I cannot say I understand the mindset of one who would not give a BJ to completion, nor even one who wouldn't give one at all. But you know what? As long as it works for THEIR marriage, I really couldn't care less about it. I know what works for my husband and myself. I also know that LOTL doesn't understand how I can stand doing some of the things I do with my husband, but I believe she acknowledges that I make those choices myself, not forced by anyone.

Now, to say "they are no longer two people", that means a woman wouldn't have the right to refuse anal, as well, correct? Does the man have the right to refuse to be pegged? Sorry, if you say that nothing can be refused in marriage, you're full of it. Just because there is a piece of paper saying we are one doesn't mean we get to choose to violate each other any way we choose. We are still, physically, two individuals. Now, should things of that nature be discussed, especially if one has even the slightest interest? Of course. But that doesn't give either of them the right to badger until they get their way.

As for that Cathouse... well, I have a real problem with women who will have sex for money...especially if they do it with married men. If the wives are cool with them going to wh0res, hey, that's their choice. But I suspect these men don't have their wives blessings. And anyone who would have sex with a married person, without the consent of the other spouse is as morally reprehensible as the one who seeks out such attention.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> ROFL....so the men want to make it about *them* instead? Sounds like a lose-lose situation then.
> 
> Honestly, if your spouse doesn't want to give oral, or any other kind of sex act, you don't have the RIGHT to expect it, ask for it, beg for it, whine about it, pout about it, or carry on about it. You DO NOT HAVE THAT RIGHT.
> 
> True love always subjugates itself for the best interests of the other person. And bodily integrity wins out over sexual desire every single time, IMO.


Yeah, but true love is a two way street. So it includes both the man and woman submitting to each other...


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

bbdad said:


> I see this comment all of the time. What if I, as a husband, no longer want to listen to her talk about her feelings? What if I no longer want to work to support the lifestyle she so loves? Does she have the right to expect, or even ask for me to do these things?


How does listening to your wife speak affect your bodily integrity in any way? It's totally passive. You don't have to DO anything and it doesn't even affect you. If you don't want to work, that's on you. It doesn't compare to sex at all. 

Sex requires surrendering very intimate parts of yourself, giving up to total vulnerability. And then there are the purely unpleasant aesthetic aspects. It is messy and smelly and rather gross. The lack of understanding as to why people find some acts to be beyond their ability to enjoy baffles me. The attitude that a spouse *should* do it whether they like it or not shocks and appalls me. I know I don't want to be the cause of any Dh's discomfort in any way. I don't want him to look at me and think" damn, I hope she doesn't want me to do THAT again". I don't want him to associate any part of me with anything distasteful. I wouldn't dream of it.
Let's say I was really curious about anal. (I'm not!!) Hubs has made it very clear that that is not on the table for him. He has no desire to explore that area on me. But what if I wanted it? What if I thought I was missing out on something wonderful? Would I insist DH rim me or perform anal because that's what *I* wanted, even though he found it personally repugnant and disgusting? NO!!!!!!! I could never do that to him. I don't value my own wants above his own integrity. And I just can't wrap my head around being any other way. It doesn't make sense.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> And then there are the purely unpleasant aesthetic aspects. It is messy and smelly and rather gross.


That's certainly an attitude that will dramatically decrease sexual enjoyment for both parties.

In my view, "messy and smelly and rather gross" describes men's restrooms or locker rooms, not sex.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> How does listening to your wife speak affect your bodily integrity in any way? It's totally passive. You don't have to DO anything and it doesn't even affect you. If you don't want to work, that's on you. It doesn't compare to sex at all.
> 
> Sex requires surrendering very intimate parts of yourself, giving up to total vulnerability. And then there are the purely unpleasant aesthetic aspects. It is messy and smelly and rather gross. The lack of understanding as to why people find some acts to be beyond their ability to enjoy baffles me. The attitude that a spouse *should* do it whether they like it or not shocks and appalls me. I know I don't want to be the cause of any Dh's discomfort in any way. I don't want him to look at me and think" damn, I hope she doesn't want me to do THAT again". I don't want him to associate any part of me with anything distasteful. I wouldn't dream of it.
> Let's say I was really curious about anal. (I'm not!!) Hubs has made it very clear that that is not on the table for him. He has no desire to explore that area on me. But what if I wanted it? What if I thought I was missing out on something wonderful? Would I insist DH rim me or perform anal because that's what *I* wanted, even though he found it personally repugnant and disgusting? NO!!!!!!! I could never do that to him. I don't value my own wants above his own integrity. And I just can't wrap my head around being any other way. It doesn't make sense.


Nothing about someone I love is disgusting - its just a body; this one belonging to someone I love. Maybe I'm just more comfortable with these bodies of ours than most... I dunno. Sure, there's plenty of things I absolutely do not like sexually, and honestly, I wouldn't be physically capable of doing those things without some biological backlash like puking. Others, are just a matter of negative preference or minor discomfort. For those, I'm happy to inconvenience myself in such a minor way so as to please her. My pleasure in those instances comes from her pleasure.

For example, I have never been interested in anal or rimming (giving or receiving). My ex wanted to try anal when we first got married. I could have kept up the "ew nasty" or taken it in stride. I took it in stride, she enjoyed it, and it became a once in awhile enjoyable thing. Rimming went down the exact same way with a girl friend. It was way outside my comfort zone, but again it didn't live up to my negative expectations. Its still not high on my list of preferences, but it can be great.

Heck, when I tried I first beer I thought it was nasty. I'm very happy I kept drinking. lol

If swallowing is gonna make you puke, by all means, don't swallow.


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## bbdad (Feb 11, 2013)

It's about meeting needs. If my spouse demands that I meet all of her wants, then it is only fair that I get some of my wants met as well.

Let's just agree to disagree on the topic


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Just having spunk near my mouth is enough to make me puke. That's why he finishes elsewhere. 

Really, its only fair that a guy who has a wife unwilling to swallow ought to swallow some himself before he asks again. I think that would resolve A LOT of these standoffs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Just having spunk near my mouth is enough to make me puke. That's why he finishes elsewhere.
> 
> Really, its only fair that a guy who has a wife unwilling to swallow ought to swallow some himself before he asks again. I think that would resolve A LOT of these standoffs.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Some would willingly do so one time if it get you to do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Some would willingly do so one time if it get you to do it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oh no, snowballing every time :smthumbup:


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

TiggyBlue said:


> Oh no, snowballing every time :smthumbup:


ROFL....yup. Tit for tat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badcompany (Aug 4, 2010)

Not required at all, oral is just a primer, finale goes where it belongs


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## BeaverBeauty (May 13, 2013)

Not an issue for me, just happy to get head.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Really, its only fair that a guy who has a wife unwilling to swallow ought to swallow some himself before he asks again. I think that would resolve A LOT of these standoffs.


Does going down on her right after PIV with ejaculation count as close enough?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

larry.gray said:


> Does going down on her right after PIV with ejaculation count as close enough?


Only if it's her boyfriends ejaculation.


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## just got it 55 (Mar 2, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Only if it's her boyfriends ejaculation.


I had to read this at 06:07 WTFO


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## Pault (Aug 15, 2012)

Gota be honest looking at the title of this posting is like something outa Shakespeare!!!!

To Swallow or spit:
that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
Or just do it missionary.........


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

larry.gray said:


> Does going down on her right after PIV with ejaculation count as close enough?


I do that fairly often. Doesn't bother me at all. She rather enjoys it, and by the time she goes again, I'm ready again 

My SO rarely swallows, but one thing we have discovered, and it is probably purely psychological, but the times she has swallowed, I have been able to go straight to PIV and finish again staying hard the whole time.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Really, its only fair that a guy who has a wife unwilling to swallow ought to swallow some himself before he asks again. I think that would resolve A LOT of these standoffs.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's no big deal.


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

just got it 55 said:


> About 3 months now .We are in a really great place at the moment. I think she has always enjoyed pleasing me But now it's over the top.Not seeing many unsolicited BJ'S yet But maybe they are in the future.She says I am pleasantly sweet
> 
> Like I said Man I love that woman


How are you soliciting them? Just asking straight out for one? 



LadyOfTheLake said:


> You know hookers don't allow CIM? Not usually anyway. I don't see why wives would do what a hooker doesn't have to.


A hooker doesn't have to do anything technically. If she does want to do it, there's a price tag to it. It's why extras, like CIM, cost extra. 

As well, if a hooker was only allowed one client (like a wife is only allowed one husband) then she'd be willing to go that extra mile to keep him happy so he doesn't stop coming around. In a marriage though, the wife doesn't have to worry about that (at least not without a messy divorce). Why did you think there is that old joke about why a wife is smiling in her wedding photo. It's because she knows she's not going to have to give any more BJ's.



LoriC said:


> He doesn't stay there for long at all. Complains that his jaw hurts. He used to make more of an effort and be down there for quite a while but no more. I have brought this up to him also but he still says he just can't because it hurts his jaw.


It can hurt your jaw, especially if you haven't done it very often/frequently, or if it goes on for more than 10 minutes or so. That said, I have never quit due to a sore jaw/tongue. I get through it, because I absolutely love giving her an orgasm. It's a big rush and you feel awesome, like you've created a great work of art. Unless you take 20 minutes or more to reach an O, or unless your husband has significant medical issues to his jaw/mouth, I don't see why he can't get the job done.



LadyOfTheLake said:


> Yes it is an ages old practice, but the popularity and fixation on it now are likely due to porn. I doubt there were many Victorian or Edwardian men threatening to divorce their wives over not getting a BJ.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So this is just your own belief, nothing more? 

Also, they may not have been able to divorce, but as others have said, that likely is due to societal issues. If it was as easy to divorce then as it is now, I'd wager you'd have seen a lot more divorces over such issues, considering women were nearly on the same level as property in many marriages.

And don't forget, back then, brothels were quite common and quite popular, and not just by single cowpokes.



LadyOfTheLake said:


> ROFL....so the men want to make it about *them* instead? Sounds like a lose-lose situation then.
> 
> Honestly, if your spouse doesn't want to give oral, or any other kind of sex act, you don't have the RIGHT to expect it, ask for it, beg for it, whine about it, pout about it, or carry on about it. You DO NOT HAVE THAT RIGHT.
> 
> *True love always subjugates itself for the best interests of the other person. And bodily integrity wins out over sexual desire every single time, IMO.*


If true love subjugates itself for the the best interests of the other person, then no woman would turn down a BJ request, would they?

Also, how does a BJ impact your bodily integrity? It goes in your mouth but its not a grenade.

Also, you do have the right to expect one type of sexual act. PIV. Technically, a marriage isn't even a marriage until this has happened, or the marriage isn't considered consumated.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

If a woman doesntt want a penis or the accompanying mess in her mouth, it most certainly does affect her integrity and autonomy to be forced to do it by an overbearing spouse. If you REALY love someone, you wouldn't try to force them into betraying their own personal boundaries for a jolly time for yourself. That is not how love works. You don't take something integral and precious away from someone you love just so you can get an orgasam that can happen a dozen other, less offensive, ways.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> If a woman doesntt want a penis or the accompanying mess in her mouth, it most certainly does affect her integrity and autonomy to be forced to do it by an overbearing spouse. If you REALY love someone, you wouldn't try to force them into betraying their own personal boundaries for a jolly time for yourself. That is not how love works. You don't take something integral and precious away from someone you love just so you can get an orgasam that can happen a dozen other, less offensive, ways.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't support forcing someone to do something either. I do have a hypothetical regarding your post.

What do you do in the case of a bait and switch, where the spouse (lets say in this case the wife) gave oral sex frequently in the first few years of the relationship/marriage, but afterward stopped doing so. If the other spouse (the husband) wanted to get what he was being given at the start of the relationship, and is asking for it, is he asking her to 'betray her personal boundaries for a jolly time for himself' or is he only fair in pushing for something which he understandably thought was part of the package he signed up for?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

kingsfan said:


> I don't support forcing someone to do something either. I do have a hypothetical regarding your post.
> 
> What do you do in the case of a bait and switch, where the spouse (lets say in this case the wife) gave oral sex frequently in the first few years of the relationship/marriage, but afterward stopped doing so. If the other spouse (the husband) wanted to get what he was being given at the start of the relationship, and is asking for it, is he asking her to 'betray her personal boundaries for a jolly time for himself' or is he only fair in pushing for something which he understandably thought was part of the package he signed up for?


I suspect that a woman has a right to change her mind, or some variant on that is going to be your answer.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

kingsfan said:


> I don't support forcing someone to do something either. I do have a hypothetical regarding your post.
> 
> What do you do in the case of a bait and switch, where the spouse (lets say in this case the wife) gave oral sex frequently in the first few years of the relationship/marriage, but afterward stopped doing so. If the other spouse (the husband) wanted to get what he was being given at the start of the relationship, and is asking for it, is he asking her to 'betray her personal boundaries for a jolly time for himself' or is he only fair in pushing for something which he understandably thought was part of the package he signed up for?


I too, would like to know why women do this. I agree 100% that it is not fair to present yourself as willing to do something that you have no intention or real desire to continue doing. I think it is awfully stupid, short sighted, and self defeating for women to give head just to land a guy and then stop doing it once there is a marriage. It's a false representation and something that stupid, weak, insecure women do because, well...they are stupid. Trying to impress a man in the first place, and then doing it by presenting yourself as willing to do something that you really don't want to do.....mind bendingly, unremittingly, insanely stupid!
I do pity men who are trapped in relationships with such women. I can only imagine the lack of intelligence spreads to other areas as well. I suppose all you can do is find out what triggered the cessation and see if there is anything you can do to fix the situation. I can see in some circumstances that a woman would stop due to relationship issues or perhaps due to loss of attraction or hygiene issues with the man. Those things can be fixed. But if it really is a case of bait and switch, then that is reprehensible and a serious issue in the relationship IMO.


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## Dad&Hubby (Aug 14, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I too, would like to know why women do this. I agree 100% that it is not fair to present yourself as willing to do something that you have no intention or real desire to continue doing. I think it is awfully stupid, short sighted, and self defeating for women to give head just to land a guy and then stop doing it once there is a marriage. It's a false representation and something that stupid, weak, insecure women do because, well...they are stupid. Trying to impress a man in the first place, and then doing it by presenting yourself as willing to do something that you really don't want to do.....mind bendingly, unremittingly, insanely stupid!
> I do pity men who are trapped in relationships with such women. I can only imagine the lack of intelligence spreads to other areas as well. I suppose all you can do is find out what triggered the cessation and see if there is anything you can do to fix the situation. I can see in some circumstances that a woman would stop due to relationship issues or perhaps due to loss of attraction or hygiene issues with the man. Those things can be fixed. But if it really is a case of bait and switch, then that is reprehensible and a serious issue in the relationship IMO.


LOTL, Love this response.

In watching the verbal tennis match going on about this topic over the last few pages, I was seeing two very extreme positions being taken about two very different types of relationships.

This response is the entire KEY to the argument. If a guy meets a woman who from day 1 makes it known she doesn't want to or enjoy giving BJ's or swallowing, the guy SHOULDN'T push that envelope. Too much time and agony is spent trying to change the other person and it's just NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

For me, the key to a great relationship is honest representation of WHO YOU ARE and then not expecting the other person to be someone they AREN'T LOL. I know it sounds simple, but look how many marital issues stem from that very dynamic.

I wish my wife swallowed more, but my issue is different LOL. My wife likes to swallow, but there's one big problem. I'm a "shooter" as in if I'm lying in bed, I can hit the wall behind my head. My wife likes watching that a lot more than swallowing LOL. So I tend to get my own shots fired somewhere around my head. I can't really complain about it. I love the finish and she loves seeing it shoot so far. We have done the target practice thing too LOL. Maybe once a month she'll swallow. Usually I get the "I meant to swallow, but I felt how your balls were moving and I just had to see it". As I'm wiping it out of my eyes. :rofl: 

Just as a note, we've tried the different direction thing, that ended when I coated the ceiling fan blade. We've found my body tends to be the easiest thing to clean. Oh well the burden I must carry.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Rofl


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

Dad&Hubby said:


> I wish my wife swallowed more, but my issue is different LOL. My wife likes to swallow, but there's one big problem. I*'m a "shooter" as in if I'm lying in bed, I can hit the wall behind my head*. My wife likes watching that a lot more than swallowing LOL. So I tend to get my own shots fired somewhere around my head. I can't really complain about it. I love the finish and she loves seeing it shoot so far. We have done the target practice thing too LOL. Maybe once a month she'll swallow. Usually I get the "I meant to swallow, but I felt how your balls were moving and I just had to see it". As I'm wiping it out of my eyes. :rofl:


:rofl: 
As soon as a read that the scene from scary movie 2 popped into my head.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I really don't understand how some of these men stay married. They are probably lurkers on this board just begging for a change. With a selfish partner talking all high and mighty right here on the same boards where they are lurking.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> I really don't understand how some of these men stay married. They are probably lurkers on this board just begging for a change. With a selfish partner talking all high and mighty right here on the same boards where they are lurking.


Cause there is so much more to life then sex and BJ's? That part of marriage is rather small and insignificant. My dh lurks here too 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Cause there is so much more to life then sex and BJ's? That part of marriage is rather small and insignificant. My dh lurks here too
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Disagree Disagree Disagree. How can you think that Sex is an insignificant part of a marriage. Are you aware of how many marriages fall apart because of this. IMO it is very high up there!


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Cause there is so much more to life then sex and BJ's? That part of marriage is rather small and insignificant. My dh lurks here too
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree and disagree. Sex is not the most important thing in life. It might not even be a top 5 thing for most people (I'd wager for some it is though). However, I'd never classify sex as something small and insignificant. Statistically, sex is the second most common reason for a maritial breakdown behind only financial issues, and I wouldn't be surprised if that's only because not all people want to admit that they divorced due a sexual issue or issues.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Cause there is so much more to life then sex and BJ's? That part of marriage is rather small and insignificant.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wrong again....,my guess is he's to timid to tell you the truth. Or your a 10 and he's an 8.
When sex is bad it's 90% when it's good it's 10% of the problem.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

LoriC said:


> Disagree Disagree Disagree. How can you think that Sex is an insignificant part of a marriage. Are you aware of how many marriages fall apart because of this. IMO it is very high up there!


It's not sex that ruins marriage, it's all sorts of other emotional baggage that gets dragged into the bedroom. Selfishness, insecurity, lack of attention, laziness, all that emotional crap people get bogged down in. 

There are 168 hours in a week. Sex only occupies a minute amount of those hours. The rest of them is filled with LIFE. Jobs, kids, the house, eating, sleeping, taking care of one another, seeing people, doing things.....REAL life. Sex is like a hobby. Important to have, for sure, but no one ever died for lack of a hobby. 

All sorts of issues make people stop having sex. Then the marriage fails. The marriage fails because of the issues. Not the sex.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> Wrong again....,my guess is he's to timid to tell you the truth. Or your a 10 and he's an 8.
> When sex is bad it's 90% when it's good it's 10% of the problem.


I shouldn't think so. We are both very good looking people. I am aware of my looks, he isn't aware of his so much. Low self esteem is an issue. But my willingness to have sex outstrips his now. He was actually complaining about it the other night, said all I want is sex any more. 

That would be the fault of TAM lol. I spend so much time discussing it that I end up wanting to do it


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It's not sex that ruins marriage, it's all sorts of other emotional baggage that gets dragged into the bedroom. Selfishness, insecurity, lack of attention, laziness, all that emotional crap people get bogged down in.
> 
> There are 168 hours in a week. Sex only occupies a minute amount of those hours. The rest of them is filled with LIFE. Jobs, kids, the house, eating, sleeping, taking care of one another, seeing people, doing things.....REAL life. Sex is like a hobby. Important to have, for sure, but no one ever died for lack of a hobby.
> 
> All sorts of issues make people stop having sex. Then the marriage fails. The marriage fails because of the issues. Not the sex.


You've said a mouthful there. There are more contradictions in the first 2 sentences than I've seen here in 2 weeks. "Not the sex" really? Everything in your first 2 sentences are sex. You just don't know it.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> I spend so much time discussing it that I end up wanting to do it


I keep telling people this is my secret for my high drive and no one believes me! lol

talking about sex,texting SO about sex,sex sex sex on the brain all the time leads to me wanting it ALL THE TIME


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It's not sex that ruins marriage, it's all sorts of other emotional baggage that gets dragged into the bedroom. Selfishness, insecurity, lack of attention, laziness, all that emotional crap people get bogged down in.
> 
> There are 168 hours in a week. Sex only occupies a minute amount of those hours. The rest of them is filled with LIFE. Jobs, kids, the house, eating, sleeping, taking care of one another, seeing people, doing things.....REAL life. Sex is like a hobby. Important to have, for sure, but no one ever died for lack of a hobby.
> 
> All sorts of issues make people stop having sex. Then the marriage fails. The marriage fails because of the issues. Not the sex.


I see where you are coming from and to a point I agree. Usually one spouse stops wanting sex for the reasons you described.

However, on the flip side, sometimes spouses act that way because they already aren't getting sex, or some variation thereof. Remember our discussion about why we can't figure out why women stop giving BJ's after they get married when they seemingly happily did so before (other posters can insert joke here)? The bait and switch? Well when that stops, that can cause the guy to start displaying all those things you said above. Sex really can be the root cause of a divorce.

And at the end of the day, I view it all like a house fire. You could have died of smoke inhalation, or of inhaling toxic fumes, or of a lack of oxygen or from the flames themselves. Regardless of what actually killed you, you died in a house fire. 

Same here. Regardless of which came first, lack of attention, laziness, etc. or a lack of sex, sex is still a main reason in the divorce.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> You've said a mouthful there. There are more contradictions in the first 2 sentences than I've seen here in 2 weeks. "Not the sex" really? Everything in your first 2 sentences are sex. You just don't know it.


Remember to separate the physical act from the emotional stuff. Are people divorcing because they aren't getting their jollies or are they calling it quits because of deeper, more important issues? When there are feelings of resentment and disrespect in the relationship, one of the first things to go is the sex. Who wants to bump uglies with someone you're mad at or who treats you like crap? So the relationship continues to deteriorate and both parties blame it on lack of sex, but it's actually the underlying issues that made the sex stop in the first place. Do people seriously go through the trauma and expense of a divorce over something as ridiculous as an orgasm? I should highly doubt it. That certainly doesn't speak highly of the human race. There must be more important issues at stake and people are just too blinded or have lost their perspective to see what the real problems are.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Remember to separate the physical act from the emotional stuff. Are people divorcing because they aren't getting their jollies or are they calling it quits because of deeper, more important issues? When there are feelings of resentment and disrespect in the relationship, one of the first things to go is the sex. Who wants to bump uglies with someone you're mad at or who treats you like crap? So the relationship continues to deteriorate and both parties blame it on lack of sex, but it's actually the underlying issues that made the sex stop in the first place. Do people seriously go through the trauma and expense of a divorce over something as ridiculous as an orgasm? I should highly doubt it. That certainly doesn't speak highly of the human race. There must be more important issues at stake and people are just too blinded or have lost their perspective to see what the real problems are.


LOTL, you, yourself, have admitted that you don't "get" the emotional attachment to sex. YOU don't get it... but there are plenty of others who CANNOT separate the two. To some people, they ARE intertwined. It's not about "getting their jollies"...it's about having that CONNECTION with their partner. So, yes, it most certainly DOES cause divorce...for those who cannot view them separately.


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## Middle of Everything (Feb 19, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Remember to separate the physical act from the emotional stuff. Are people divorcing because they aren't getting their jollies or are they calling it quits because of deeper, more important issues? When there are feelings of resentment and disrespect in the relationship, one of the first things to go is the sex. Who wants to bump uglies with someone you're mad at or who treats you like crap? So the relationship continues to deteriorate and both parties blame it on lack of sex, but it's actually the underlying issues that made the sex stop in the first place. Do people seriously go through the trauma and expense of a divorce over something as ridiculous as an orgasm? I should highly doubt it. That certainly doesn't speak highly of the human race. There must be more important issues at stake and people are just too blinded or have lost their perspective to see what the real problems are.


Well if everything is reduced to such cold, clinical, uncaring terms, [email protected] it. Life isnt worth living.

Why have kids? All the little leaches do is such time and money from you and then leave.

Why have any sort of hobby that doesnt produce some sort of financial or material gain? Waste.

Music? Frivolous garbage.

Art? Takes up space on walls.

I applaud you for trying to be more HD for your husband Lady, but I would think it would be even better to not look at it all so pessimistically.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Remember to separate the physical act from the emotional stuff.


I can't I'm a married man. That's why my wife swallows... She can't either.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Middle of Everything said:


> Why have kids? All the little leaches do is such time and money from you and then leave.


That made me LOL :lol:


I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. I think I see things for what they really are and not with what people have invested in them. 

I have very little art on my walls 

Maricha, you are right, I do not understand this "connection" of which you speak. It does not make sense to me. I have lots of questions about it though 

I share a life, a home and children with hubs. I can't fathom being any more connected than that. Mashing body parts together seems an odd way to establish more connectivity, but I guess that is where hormones come into play.

I wonder why they don't just make a synthetic hormone pill for dysfunctional relationships? Just to smooth people over the rough spots. Get them bonded so they can work on their issues without fighting and then when it's all fixed, stop the pill. 

Gawd, sometimes I surprise even myself with my genius.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

They make The Red Pill.


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## darkrat (May 13, 2013)

Wife totally swallows here. That's why I married her (JK)


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> That made me LOL :lol:
> 
> 
> I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. I think I see things for what they really are and not with what people have invested in them.
> ...


Every mechanical response of yours I read to all matters sexual, I get this imagery of you playing "Data" on Star Trek: TNG, c*cking your head to the side and saying "curious."

Its not pessimistic or realistic. Its more sterile and detached. When I've seen this before its been a defense mechanism someone developed to suppress an emotionally challenging childhood. I have to wonder if you had some sort of trouble or severe instability around age 3-5.


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## Thound (Jan 20, 2013)

Way way back when I used to get an occasional bj, I would warn her before finishing. I knew she wouldnt like it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> That made me LOL :lol:
> 
> 
> I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. I think I see things for what they really are and not with what people have invested in them.
> ...


I have very little art on my walls. I still feel that sex/love connection with my husband. And I can't imagine NOT feeling bonded in that way. See, I know you have questions about it, I can understand that. But just like I can't understand NOT knowing the feeling of being emotionally connected to my husband (including/especially via sex), you won't be able to truly understand it unless you experience it yourself. 

And it's fine that you don't..for you, and your husband, from what you say. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, since you agree on it. At the same time, it's not fair to the rest of us who DO feel that way about our spouses to be cut down. "Sex is like a hobby." "Mashing body parts together seems an odd way to establish more connectivity, but I guess that is where hormones come into play." "Do people seriously go through the trauma and expense of a divorce over something as ridiculous as an orgasm? I should highly doubt it. That certainly doesn't speak highly of the human race. There must be more important issues at stake and people are just too blinded or have lost their perspective to see what the real problems are." All of these are clinical, cold comments, IMO. I feel that way because I don't view sex as a "hobby" or "just an orgasm" or just "mashing body parts together". For those who DON'T have the clinical perspective you do, regarding sex, the comments are cold and unfeeling. I feel connected to my husband during sex. It is a form of communication for us. It's not about "getting our jollies". But, like I said, unless you experience it yourself, you can't understand it.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> Every mechanical response of yours I read to all matters sexual, I get this imagery of you playing "Data" on Star Trek: TNG, c*cking your head to the side and saying "curious."
> 
> Its not pessimistic or realistic. Its more sterile and detached. When I've seen this before its been a defense mechanism someone developed to suppress an emotionally challenging childhood. I have to wonder if you had some sort of trouble or severe instability around age 3-5.


LOL, I see myself more as a female Sheldon Cooper than a robot alien, but I get your point 

As for my childhood, it's becoming more and more apparent that it was just a big ol clusterfluck with a very thin veneer of normalcy. But then, no one's was perfect. 

But as I've said before, I've been cold, detached and much like this from birth. Even as a baby I didn't relate to people and hated being touched, held or played with. So I doubt this is a defense mechanism. It just....is.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> I have very little art on my walls. I still feel that sex/love connection with my husband. And I can't imagine NOT feeling bonded in that way. See, I know you have questions about it, I can understand that. But just like I can't understand NOT knowing the feeling of being emotionally connected to my husband (including/especially via sex), you won't be able to truly understand it unless you experience it yourself.
> 
> And it's fine that you don't..for you, and your husband, from what you say. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, since you agree on it. At the same time, it's not fair to the rest of us who DO feel that way about our spouses to be cut down. "Sex is like a hobby." "Mashing body parts together seems an odd way to establish more connectivity, but I guess that is where hormones come into play." "Do people seriously go through the trauma and expense of a divorce over something as ridiculous as an orgasm? I should highly doubt it. That certainly doesn't speak highly of the human race. There must be more important issues at stake and people are just too blinded or have lost their perspective to see what the real problems are." All of these are clinical, cold comments, IMO. I feel that way because I don't view sex as a "hobby" or "just an orgasm" or just "mashing body parts together". For those who DON'T have the clinical perspective you do, regarding sex, the comments are cold and unfeeling. I feel connected to my husband during sex. It is a form of communication for us. It's not about "getting our jollies". But, like I said, unless you experience it yourself, you can't understand it.


I do hope you know I am not being intentionally insulting. I am just blunt. And I am trying to understand. Rather than list of the dozens of questions I have, I am learning through the debates I am having. I find if I make a plain statement about how I feel, someone will reply with the viewpoint from the other side of the issue and then I can see what it is that I am not understanding without having to ask an outright question. If people think my statements about my own personal feeling about sex are cold and clinical, then I fear the reaction to my questions would not be a receptive one


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> There are 168 hours in a week. Sex only occupies a minute amount of those hours. The rest of them is filled with LIFE. Jobs, kids, the house, eating, sleeping, taking care of one another, seeing people, doing things.....REAL life. Sex is like a hobby. Important to have, for sure, but no one ever died for lack of a hobby.


If we're ranking importance by number of hours, the most important things are, in order:

1. Work.
2. Sleep.
3. Bathroom activities (EXCLUDING SEX) (Sometimes this seems like #1 for my wife).
4. Eating.
5. Jersey Shore.
6. TAM (#1 for some around here).

Yikes--I've already filled up more than 24 hours. You're right, the heck with sex! (And kids, the house, seeing people, doing things.) My life is complete!


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> LOL, I see myself more as a female Sheldon Cooper


How many T-shirts with The Flash's insignia do you own? And do you have a roommate agreement with your husband?


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

jaharthur said:


> How many T-shirts with The Flash's insignia do you own? And do you have a roommate agreement with your husband?


More like, how many Bazinga shirts have I tried on? And not a single one fit 'cause they were all made for men and not girls with big boobs. 

I bought some different shirts from the same company that supplies screen print shirts for Jim Parsons for the show LOL

Roommate agreement would not be a bad idea, then I wouldn't have to keep reminding him that Tues is garbage day and that he can't buy any more motorcycles.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Threetimesalady said:


> I am just going to add my bit of life and run as I am making dinner...You are a genius..That kind of came with the territory...However, you are missing one important part that a woman in love and in passion feels...That being both want and need....You need these two things to complete yourself...I need my husband...I want him...it has never been just "smashing uglies" or whatever you said...I recall i*n one post you said about your Mother telling you how lovely you were and something of that sort*...When you are young something like this can confuse you more than do you any good...You grow up thinking that you are the best...Nobody can equal your beauty...It is your beauty that counts and not what comes out of your mouth....Hate to tell you, but you still think like this...


Oh, you've misunderstood. Greatly. I am the classic ugly duckling. I wish I could show a picture of what an ugly child I was. It was so unfortunate. My brother and I both were terribly homely children, but no one at home let on. School kids made no bones about it, of course. I grew into my looks at puberty. THEN mum let me know things had changed. *I* didn't know till I was in my late teens. So no, I didn't grow up thinking I was pretty and that's all that mattered. ROFL. Not at all. I was a geeky little nerd that was always reading and being tormented by the cool kids. I still hate wearing my glasses because all I see is the girl that got picked on for them. 

But I do use my looks as a weapon. Just not the way you'd think. Everyone is afraid of a beautiful woman. So when I want to be left alone, I *REALLY* work it. Hair, clothes, nails, makeup, the whole thing. This is reserved for social occasions that I can't get out of. Then I plaster on a look of total ennui and everyone thinks I'm a stuck up bi8ch and leaves me the heck alone. Works every time. 




> .Only you are no longer a little girl...You are a grown woman and like all of us...Nothing special and nothing worse...Your words are cold...Sex was to be a chore from the start so you never were able to release that hot part of you inside that surrendered to a man....Needing him...Wanting him...Having his **** be your treasure...Sometimes people like this will use people...Emotions do not count as they really don't have any...They never knew them and have no idea how to connect with them now....IMO all a reflection of Aspergers...
> 
> This is my two cents..


Sex was more than a chore, it was a burden. Something asked of me that I did not understand and did not know how to give. I still do not know how to do it the way you describe. I do not need him. I want him, but not in the way you describe. I do not WANT to function that way. I don't WANT to want to submit to him or anyone else. I don't have a "hot" part and I guess I don't really want one. I doesn't sound like any fun to have, that's for sure. Why would his **** be a treasure? It's no different than a finger or a toe or an earlobe. Or was that just hyperbole?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

Threetimesalady said:


> *If you are with a man that you adore sex is not a chore...It is a hot erotic act of lust...The kind that makes you shut off the burner while cooking dinner and go with your husband into the bathroom and keep on flushing the toilet so your three kids don't hear the two of you on the floor making love...It is lust for each others bodies...It is growing into the woman inside you that couldn't do oral sex on a man to start and letting herself loose...Honey, I too, was a virgin...You must learn to need and want your husband to fill your vaginal canal...It is only the true filling of man that makes a woman whole...Why would his penis be any different...Because this is the object of love that makes your want to open your legs wide...This wonderful treasure loves to be pampered and sucked...I do not swallow nor would I...But I would spit...Being in love with his man parts and playing my game of life has lead me to be able to keep him alive and potent into this older age of life...Add asking him to pull your boobs at the same time can add one hot twist of pleasure...BUT, first you must learn to have him tempt you with his penis...Just exposing it to you can turn you on...My husband has turned our sex life up a good decimal by when I am peeing before we have sex and sitting on the john coming up to me and shoving his in my mouth...I play his game in life..I just love it.....He is my master and I am his servant, woman in waiting or whatever is on my mind.....Yet no words have ever been spoken to this affect...I am a woman in love and can look at him as the sailor on leave and asked me out the same night he had two other dates...I have kept this special part of me as boyfriend and girlfriend alive as you must find that part of you inside you....Have fun with sex...Not a marathon, but fun...Lord, could I tell the stories....
> 
> Honey, I wrote this full of love...I seldom go near these threads...Yet, I saw something about you in your LD thread that set my mind in motion...You see I believe the human brain is the most important sexual organ we have...Use it...
> 
> To the OP, please forgive for my leaving the subject matter on this thread...I promise that I will now take my leave...Again my best to you.....Caroline...*


Tastefully said Threetimesalady!

Maybe you need to hang out in this section a little more often!


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Threetimesalady said:


> *I find it hard to believe that you were homely*...Yet I can see the cool kids in school tormenting you.....


Oh but I was. Terrible hair, awful straight bangs hanging in my eyes, big glasses, freckles, very pale, scrawny. Always using big words, reading a lot....kids had terrible names for me. I was the classic geeky kid. No social skills at all, people confused me then as much as they do now. 





> IMO, your looks or being beautiful are no weapon unless you use them this way...Why not dress so that your unnoticed than stand out in a crowd?...Could it be that you thrive on the attention?.....Why would you possibly use your looks?...It's what's inside the woman that counts...To me this sounds like an actress trying to hide behind a person she has invented...A superior mind game...Truly wanting to be noticed....Why do you hide?...Why not let the real person in you free?...Why be stuck up when you have no reason to think you are special?..To tell you the truth I see an inner sadness where a rejected girl-woman still craves the attention she gets.....This is even true in your talking about sexuality as you do...You know all the answers as this is what you believe...It can be kind of a mind game..You believe in you....This is fine as long as you are right and going forward rather than taking two steps back......


People are intimidated by beautiful women. Not frowsy women sitting alone in the corner. They take pity on them and try to bring them out of their shell, try to get them to join in the "fun". The quiet woman on the sidelines is fair game to every kind soul in the room. The cold hard beauty shooting daggers from her eyes keeps everyone away. I've played both sides. 



*If you are with a man that you adore sex is not a chore...It is a hot erotic act of lust...The kind that makes you shut off the burner while cooking dinner and go with your husband into the bathroom and keep on flushing the toilet so your three kids don't hear the two of you on the floor making love...It is lust for each others bodies...It is growing into the woman inside you that couldn't do oral sex on a man to start and letting herself loose...Honey, I too, was a virgin...You must learn to need and want your husband to fill your vaginal canal...It is only the true filling of man that makes a woman whole...Why would his penis be any different...Because this is the object of love that makes your want to open your legs wide...This wonderful treasure loves to be pampered and sucked...I do not swallow nor would I...But I would spit...Being in love with his man parts and playing my game of life has lead me to be able to keep him alive and potent into this older age of life...Add asking him to pull your boobs at the same time can add one hot twist of pleasure...BUT, first you must learn to have him tempt you with his penis...Just exposing it to you can turn you on...My husband has turned our sex life up a good decimal by when I am peeing before we have sex and sitting on the john coming up to me and shoving his in my mouth...I play his game in life..I just love it.....He is my master and I am his servant, woman in waiting or whatever is on my mind.....Yet no words have ever been spoken to this affect...I am a woman in love and can look at him as the sailor on leave and asked me out the same night he had two other dates...I have kept this special part of me as boyfriend and girlfriend alive as you must find that part of you inside you....Have fun with sex...Not a marathon, but fun...Lord, could I tell the stories....

Honey, I wrote this full of love...I seldom go near these threads...Yet, I saw something about you in your LD thread that set my mind in motion...You see I believe the human brain is the most important sexual organ we have...Use it...

To the OP, please forgive for my leaving the subject matter on this thread...I promise that I will now take my leave...Again my best to you.....Caroline...*[/QUOTE]

Oh my. I didn't know we were allowed to be that graphic here. That was....uncomfortable.

Needless to say, I disagree with what you wrote. Sex IS a chore, when you do not want to do it. When you are only doing it to appease your spouse. It's no different than making the bed, walking the dog, tending the kids or making dinner. Just something that needs to be crossed off the list. If you didn't love and adore your spouse, you wouldn't bother with doing it at all, save the time and energy for something better or more important. 

I can look at my husband and see what a good, loving, kind, intelligent, honest, loyal man he is and not want to have sex. I want to take care of him and help him and be a partner to him, but that doesn't make me feel like I need him to make me a "whole woman". WTH is that about? I was born whole. So were you. So is everyone. As much as I love him, I will function just fine without him. He'd function perfectly fine without me....I am not necessary to him. More like a perk LOL. Yes....that's it....perks. It's great being married and having a life together, but it's not required. Sex isn't required to be "whole". That is ridiculous. That idea puts far too much power in the hands of the opposite sex....no wonder some women get caught up in so much relationship drama if that is the way they think. That they "need" a man. What a bizarre idea.
It does explain a lot of odd things people do, if they really do think this way and you aren't just pulling my leg or being facetious. How unfortunate for them. Very sad.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> Sex IS a chore, when you do not want to do it. When you are only doing it to appease your spouse. It's no different than making the bed, walking the dog, tending the kids or making dinner. Just something that needs to be crossed off the list. If you didn't love and adore your spouse, you wouldn't bother with doing it at all, save the time and energy for something better or more important. I never was able to see it this way,but explaining it the way you did I am starting to grasp the LD mindset about sex. Assuming the person isn't LD due to resentments and other things to do with not having their needs met.It really IS fascinating to me. Thank you!
> 
> I can look at my husband and see what a good, loving, kind, intelligent, honest, loyal man he is and not want to have sex. I want to take care of him and help him and be a partner to him, but that doesn't make me feel like I need him to make me a "whole woman". WTH is that about? I was born whole. So were you. So is everyone. As much as I love him, I will function just fine without him. He'd function perfectly fine without me....I am not necessary to him. More like a perk LOL. Yes....that's it....perks. It's great being married and having a life together, but it's not required. Sex isn't required to be "whole". That is ridiculous. That idea puts far too much power in the hands of the opposite sex....no wonder some women get caught up in so much relationship drama if that is the way they think. That they "need" a man. What a bizarre idea.I agree with this.Take away the fluffy romance and lifetime movie moments...I can live without my partner and he can live without me.It would suck but eventually we would be fine I'm sure.It would be silly and naive to think we need each other to be complete or whole.We are whole people.When you're looking for someone to complete you,I feel the chance for failure is higher.
> It does explain a lot of odd things people do, if they really do think this way and you aren't just pulling my leg or being facetious. How unfortunate for them. Very sad.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I am sure her answers will be different when she's 80. Long term life would suck alone.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Wow, this thread got a little too deep and OT. 

Swallow or Spit? Anyone?


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> I am sure her answers will be different when she's 80. Long term life would suck alone.


It would have it's downsides of course, but it sure would have it's benefits!!! I have children, I can never be alone now, but that is a life course that does not scare me or seem unappealing at all. I am a little envious of those who have it, in fact.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

I think the term " whole" was used in the context of a union of two 
interdependent partners. When they come together they become something* bigger* than themselves, even though they are complete and perfectly whole by themselves.
Ie: A marriage or a family.

Just like a coupling or union joint in any type of conduit, male and female adapters are designed to work together.

A male adapter is a WHOLE, fully functional, male adapter.
A female adapter is a WHOLE, fully functional functional , female adapter.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

Caribbean Man said:


> I think the term " whole" was used in the context of a union of two
> interdependent partners.
> Just like a coupling or union joint in any type of conduit, male and female adapters are designed to work together.
> 
> ...


But according to your model, there is still the element of inter-dependency. 

IMO, marriage is two whole, independent people bringing themselves to the union and choosing to remain side by side.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> But according to your model, there is still the element of inter-dependency.
> 
> IMO, marriage is two whole, independent people bringing themselves to the union and choosing to remain side by side.


Well interdependency can only exist when there are more than one persons / items / objects.

The United States Of America is a union of 50 interdependent states, using one currency, one president,and one constitution. Even though each state may have different laws on its statute books ,and can function on its own, they all belong to one
" Indivisible country ", the USA.

When two people get married,although they are separate individuals , they become a married couple , interdependent on each other for the support needed to make the union work.

Love is not something outside of us, it is inside and it is something we give and need in order for a relationship to work.
It is a part of us that we share by both giving and accepting.
It is a need.

To an extent I understand what you are saying, because different people have different capacities to feel loved and express love.


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> It does explain a lot of odd things people do, if they really do think this way and you aren't just pulling my leg or being facetious. How unfortunate for them. Very sad.


How judgmental of you. Couldn't an insensitive person here turn this around and say the _*exact*_ same thing about you? Wouldn't you then accuse them of intolerance and lack of understanding?


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

jaharthur said:


> Couldn't an insensitive person here turn this around and say the _*exact*_ same thing about you? Wouldn't you then accuse them of intolerance and lack of understanding?


They have and no, she has not.At least not that I've seen from reading her posts.


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## DvlsAdvc8 (Feb 15, 2012)

LadyOfTheLake said:


> How unfortunate for them. Very sad.


I hope that emotion chip came with a warranty.


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## LadyOfTheLake (Feb 25, 2013)

DvlsAdvc8 said:


> I hope that emotion chip came with a warranty.


Why? Has it malfunctioned again?


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sdcott (Oct 9, 2012)

I found if deep throat at the time - it is pretty automatic and is a great sensation for him with the swallowing action of the throat muscles as the fluid goes down the throat. Just saying....


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> They have and no, she has not.At least not that I've seen from reading her posts.


Well, she should.


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## jen53 (Apr 26, 2013)

I used to open my mouth last minute and let it run straight out onto the bed, I am afraid Semen tastes awful like stale salty fish to me, I tend to retch, I think its a control/power trip for some men to have you swallow, like wanting to come over your face etc, not that I minded that so much.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

jen53 said:


> I used to open my mouth last minute and let it run straight out onto the bed, I am afraid Semen tastes awful like stale salty fish to me, I tend to retch, I think its a control/power trip for some men to have you swallow, like wanting to come over your face etc, not that I minded that so much.


I don't think you understand men that well. There is a huge difference between a woman that swallows and that will take a facial. Swallowing is more of a "you love me so much you want all you can get" where facials are more of a "dominate over submission" thing.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

jen53 said:


> I used to open my mouth last minute and let it run straight out onto the bed, I am afraid Semen tastes awful like stale salty fish to me, I tend to retch, I think its a control/power trip for some men to have you swallow, like wanting to come over your face etc, not that I minded that so much.


Have him drink pineapple juice in the morning it will help with the semen taste. His diet is what is making it acidic and salty. It works....try it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

MrBrains said:


> I don't think you understand men that well. There is a huge difference between a woman that swallows and that will take a facial. Swallowing is more of a "you love me so much you want all you can get" where facials are more of a "dominate over submission" thing.


I'm blessed since my Mrs actually enjoys both .... swallowing and/or depending if she's in a naughty mood ummmm a " facial "  

She does take on a submissive role though in either scenarios !!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

mineforever said:


> Have him drink pineapple juice in the morning it will help with the semen taste. His diet is what is making it acidic and salty. It works....try it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Everyone keeps saying this.... but it's not always true. 
Unfortunately, there are a few who, no matter what they try, it doesn't change the taste.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I do NOT enjoy the taste of that stuff.It makes my throat convulse.The taste,the texture.BLECH!
If I'm swallowing I need to have a ton of spit in my mouth so I can't taste or feel it before it goes down.

Just being real about it.Sorry if that's offensive.


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## Cwtchbunny (May 20, 2013)

I can't swallow makes me retch but I love the taste of precum

Hubby doesn't care, he would rather cum in my vagina


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Cwtchbunny said:


> I can't swallow makes me retch but I love the taste of precum
> 
> Hubby doesn't care, he would rather cum in my vagina


We're not mind reading are we?


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## Cwtchbunny (May 20, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> We're not mind reading are we?


No he tells me, he likes to cum on my boobs but a creampie is his favourite


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> Everyone keeps saying this.... but it's not always true.
> Unfortunately, there are a few who, no matter what they try, it doesn't change
> 
> Actually you are incorrect...if it does not change the taste his system is to acidic and that is usually caused by diet....it can be caused by med's also but rarely. If it is really important to a couple than a nutritianist would be able to help with balancing the acids and bases in his diet.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sarcasmo (Feb 1, 2013)

The first time I had sex with my STBXW, I pulled out and came in her mouth. I thought that was a pretty f'ing hot thing if her to do. Years later she explained she just didn't know what else to do with the stuff. It was her first time having unprotected sex. Still, I find it hot, though I wouldn't take offense if a woman were to spit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

I'm quite surprised at the strength of feeling some people have about taste and texture. It goes down so quickly, and I've tasted a hell of a lot worse. 

Mind you I can't bear the taste of coffee, guess I'm an oddball


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Dollystanford said:


> I'm quite surprised at the strength of feeling some people have about taste and texture. It goes down so quickly, and I've tasted a hell of a lot worse.
> 
> Mind you I can't bear the taste of coffee, guess I'm an oddball


Dolly, I am with you on this one. When I know he is about to cum I really go deep, it goes right down and I barely taste anything. I have tasted it and I dont think its so bad anyway. 

I also hate coffee....:scratchhead:


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

mineforever said:


> Actually you are incorrect...if it does not change the taste his system is to acidic and that is usually caused by diet....it can be caused by med's also but rarely. If it is really important to a couple than a nutritianist would be able to help with balancing the acids and bases in his diet.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Actually, I am correct... about my own experience with my husband. His has always, and I mean ALWAYS, been bitter tasting. Whether medicated or not... and even when he cut out the things which, supposedly, make semen bitter or salty or whatever taste is not palatable. He added the food which were supposed to be good, facilitating a sweet taste. None worked. No change. Never affected whether I spit or swallowed one way or the other... always have swallowed, except when pregnant. So, I stand by my statement... it doesn't always work for everyone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I don't believe you can change the Ph balance of ones semen or sperm by digesting anything within 24 hours.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> I don't believe you can change the Ph balance of ones semen or sperm by digesting anything within 24 hours.


Thats pretty smart. So what is the time period that you consume said item ( pineapples, blueberries or what have you ) and it affects taste and balance of semen?

What are things that you definately should NOT consume?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Thats pretty smart. So what is the time period that you consume said item ( pineapples, blueberries or what have you ) and it affects taste and balance of semen?
> 
> What are things that you definately should NOT consume?


Meat, beer and tobacco have been known to negatively affect the taste. In other words, manly things


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Thats pretty smart. So what is the time period that you consume said item ( pineapples, blueberries or what have you ) and it affects taste and balance of semen?
> 
> What are things that you definately should NOT consume?


Asparagus. Brussels sprouts.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

treyvion said:


> Thats pretty smart. So what is the time period that you consume said item ( pineapples, blueberries or what have you ) and it affects taste and balance of semen?
> 
> What are things that you definately should NOT consume?


I believe it to be hocus pocus. And before any of you women jump on me. No I have never givin' a BJ.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Meat, beer and tobacco have been known to negatively affect the taste. In other words, manly things


You saying my husband isn't manly?? 

Seriously, though... Doesn't use tobacco, no alcohol, and no red meat. Loves pineapple. Loves all the things that supposedly make it sweet(er), no change. Not in the 13 years we have been together.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> You saying my husband isn't manly??
> 
> Seriously, though... Doesn't use tobacco, no alcohol, and no red meat. Loves pineapple. Loves all the things that supposedly make it sweet(er), no change. Not in the 13 years we have been together.


Your right, science does not support it. But if it gets me a BJ I'm eatting a pineapple. Really though Cosmo says it. It must be true.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> *You saying my husband isn't manly??*
> 
> Seriously, though... Doesn't use tobacco, no alcohol, and no red meat. Loves pineapple. Loves all the things that supposedly make it sweet(er), no change. Not in the 13 years we have been together.


My apologies if serious, of course I wasn't saying that!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> My apologies if serious, of course I wasn't saying that!


About the manly part? Nah, that was a joke. The foods though, totally serious...including the asparagus and brussels sprouts mentioned in another post... he can't stand either of those lol.

But, I have discovered that if I have mint and/or chocolate in my mouth, I'm good. And if that doesn't dot he trick, my fave drink helps afterward.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

"Semen is about 96 percent water, plus:*• Sperm, which account for about 2 percent of ejaculate volume.• Fructose, fruit sugar, which nourishes sperm.• Vitamin C, which helps keep sperm healthy.• Sodium bicarbonate, an alkaline compound that protect sperm from the slightly acid environment of the vagina.• Various proteins and enzymes.• A several minerals: magnesium, phosphorus, potassium--and zinc, which gives semen its odd, metallic taste"......the reason adding more fruit in their diet helps is because the fruit sugar gives it the sweet taste. ... most men don't eat a lot of fruit.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

mineforever said:


> "Semen is about 96 percent water, plus:*• Sperm, which account for about 2 percent of ejaculate volume.• Fructose, fruit sugar, which nourishes sperm.• Vitamin C, which helps keep sperm healthy.• Sodium bicarbonate, an alkaline compound that protect sperm from the slightly acid environment of the vagina.• Various proteins and enzymes.• A several minerals: magnesium, phosphorus, potassium--and zinc, which gives semen its odd, metallic taste"......the reason adding more fruit in their diet helps is because the fruit sugar gives it the sweet taste. ... most men don't eat a lot of fruit.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And what I am trying to explain to you is that it does NOT always work for everyone. You said "most men don't eat a lot of fruit"... Well, mine does. He loves fruits... and those fruits haven't made his semen sweeter at all in the 13 years we've been married (14 years together).


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Maricha75....Your perception is your truth and my perception is mine....so I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

It does not work for anybody


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

mineforever said:


> Maricha75....Your perception is your truth and my perception is mine....so I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


As with all myths, there are exceptions. Perhaps it works for many. Why is it such a difficult concept to grasp that something doesn't work for everyone? I'm not saying it never works... I am stating the fact that not everyone experiences sweetened semen when they cut out the "bad" stuff and only consume the "good". Yet you persist to maintain that it is a fact and works for all. It isn't an "agree to disagree" situation. It is fact. It doesn't ALWAYS work for everyone. Just as with other things in life, there are always exceptions.


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

MrBrains said:


> It does not work for anybody


I hate to sound like **** of the year, but I've given a lot of BJs to a, lets say, proportionate number of men over the years. 

Never once have I tasted sweet semen. Never. No matter what. And yes, I've tried the "eat a lot of sweets this week" thing. Never. It all tastes the same to me.


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

notmarriedyet said:


> I hate to sound like **** of the year, but I've given a lot of BJs to a, lets say, proportionate number of men over the years.
> 
> Never once have I tasted sweet semen. Never. No matter what. And yes, I've tried the "eat a lot of sweets this week" thing. Never. It all tastes the same to me.


No you are correct it doesn't taste sweet like ice cream ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Maricha75 said:


> You saying my husband isn't manly??
> 
> Seriously, though... Doesn't use tobacco, no alcohol, and no red meat. Loves pineapple. Loves all the things that supposedly make it sweet(er), no change. Not in the 13 years we have been together.


Maybe it's already as good as it's going to get! Maybe if he started smoking and eating red meat with his whiskey it would taste even worse!! lol


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

notmarriedyet said:


> I hate to sound like **** of the year, but I've given a lot of BJs to a, lets say, proportionate number of men over the years.
> 
> Never once have I tasted sweet semen. Never. No matter what. And yes, I've tried the "eat a lot of sweets this week" thing. Never. It all tastes the same to me.


Why do I have an overwhelming urge to send you a friend request?


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

mineforever said:


> No you are correct it doesn't taste sweet like ice cream ;-)
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So what's it supposed to be? Sweet like an Idaho potato? Sweet like sour cream?


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

From a scientific basis, it's ludicrous to think that eating a little pineapple would increase sugar content in semen. The amount of sugar you'd need to eat would likely make you obese. A great way to make your semen sweet would be to acquire diabetes.

Semen is mostly water, I'd assume if one were dehydrated it could concentrate the flavor so the best thing you could do would be to drink plenty of water.


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Why do I have an overwhelming urge to send you a friend request?


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

BrockLanders said:


> From a scientific basis, it's ludicrous to think that eating a little pineapple would increase sugar content in semen. The amount of sugar you'd need to eat would likely make you obese. A great way to make your semen sweet would be to acquire diabetes.
> 
> Semen is mostly water, I'd assume if one were dehydrated it could concentrate the flavor so the best thing you could do would be to drink plenty of water.


Ok. So the female consensus appears that you aren't going to make it take sweet like honey... But with a proper diet and staying away from certain foods, alcohol and smoking the taste can be less offensive.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

treyvion said:


> Ok. So the female consensus appears that you aren't going to make it take sweet like honey... But with a proper diet and staying away from certain foods, alcohol and smoking the taste can be less offensive.


Jury's out on that one, too.


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## treyvion (Apr 29, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> Jury's out on that one, too.


I know for a fact, that smoking cigars, alcohol and tons of red meat and mine is more bitter, the consistency and color is between white and off yellow.

With the pineapples, lots of water, l-arginine, and clean eating, the consistency is a perfect silvery-greyish cum color and it's not said to taste "good", but it doesn't taste bad for cum.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

treyvion said:


> I know for a fact, that smoking cigars, alcohol and tons of red meat and mine is more bitter, the consistency and color is between white and off yellow.
> 
> With the pineapples, lots of water, l-arginine, and clean eating, the consistency is a perfect silvery-greyish cum color and it's not said to taste "good", but it doesn't taste bad for cum.


And, I know for a fact that when my husband was eating rd meat, among the other things supposedly bad for bad tasting semen, it was just as bitter as it is now, with him NOT consuming those things. He drinks lots of water, etc. Like I said... no change in the taste. But, as I said above, there are always exceptions in everything.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Eh, I think it all tastes the same. If you swallow you don't have to taste it that much.

Is it just me or does anyone else think about the sperm trying frantically to locate an egg and being all confused and stuff? And half the time they're probably drunk, too.


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

notmarriedyet said:


> I hate to sound like **** of the year, but *I've given a lot of BJs to a, lets say, proportionate number of men over the years. *
> 
> Never once have I tasted sweet semen. Never. No matter what. And yes, I've tried the "eat a lot of sweets this week" thing. Never. It all tastes the same to me.


Hey what's up!:smthumbup:


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

MissScarlett said:


> Eh, I think it all tastes the same. If you swallow you don't have to taste it that much.
> 
> Is it just me or does anyone else think about the sperm trying frantically to locate an egg and being all confused and stuff? And half the time they're probably drunk, too.


LOL!!


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## Cwtchbunny (May 20, 2013)

I agree with who ever said its the texture not the taste ewwww


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

*Re: Re: To swallow or to spit!*



Cwtchbunny said:


> I agree with who ever said its the texture not the taste ewwww


Thank goodness the Mrs had no issues with either or ....... she proved this yet again last night 

It was probably all the Corona Lights with a lime that i had or that she had


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BrockLanders (Jul 23, 2012)

So who is signing up for that double blind taste test?


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## jaharthur (May 25, 2012)

Geez, I think there are foods that are worse. Liver. Andouillette sausage. And there's no way to sneak those flavors by the taste buds.


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## KimatraAKM (May 1, 2013)

I'm with others in that it's totally in the texture rather then taste. I'm not sucking or swallowing cause I think it's gonna taste like a blueberry pie.. I'm doing it to turn on my husband/etc. 

If he thinks it's sexy for me to swallow, I'm going to swallow. It's all in what you/partner want.

TMI ALERT!
I had a boyfriend when I was younger who had a chunky kinda consistency, it was HARD to swallow (literally) and I use to have to down a coke afterwards.. ICK..


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## Cwtchbunny (May 20, 2013)

KimatraAKM said:


> I'm with others in that it's totally in the texture rather then taste. I'm not sucking or swallowing cause I think it's gonna taste like a blueberry pie.. I'm doing it to turn on my husband/etc.
> 
> If he thinks it's sexy for me to swallow, I'm going to swallow. It's all in what you/partner want.
> 
> ...


He must have had a very high sperm count lol


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## xrsm002 (May 23, 2013)

How to I get my wife to even give me oral


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

xrsm002 said:


> How to I get my wife to even give me oral


Ask her to swallow you ..... 

She'll get repulsed and simply say " no way im going to swallow ..... but i'll at least give you a bj "  there you gooo ........ you can thank me later !!


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## KimatraAKM (May 1, 2013)

Omgitsjoe said:


> Ask her to swallow you .....
> 
> She'll get repulsed and simply say " no way im going to swallow ..... but i'll at least give you a bj "  there you gooo ........ you can thank me later !!


Smooth... totally would work on me! But I'd swallow prolly.


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

KimatraAKM said:


> Smooth... totally would work on me! But I'd swallow prolly.


Nice to know and ummmm thank you  !!


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Omgitsjoe said:


> Ask her to swallow you .....
> 
> She'll get repulsed and simply say " no way im going to swallow ..... but i'll at least give you a bj "  there you gooo ........ you can thank me later !!


The art of negotiation!!! Ask for more than you want... Settle for what you want!


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

hambone said:


> The art of negotiation!!! Ask for more than you want... Settle for what you want!


So THAT'S what he did! Weasel!! :rofl:


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

Maricha75 said:


> So THAT'S what he did! Weasel!! :rofl:


I killed a really big deer... had him mounted... got him home..

Wife said, "That deer is NOT going up over the mantle.." I'm talking feet spread.. arms crossed...jaw set.. pretty intense.

I said, "I know... I'm saving that spot for an elk!!!"


Man that deer looks good over the mantle!!!

The lesser of two evils!


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## xrsm002 (May 23, 2013)

Omgitsjoe said:


> Ask her to swallow you .....
> 
> She'll get repulsed and simply say " no way im going to swallow ..... but i'll at least give you a bj "  there you gooo ........ you can thank me later !!


I've tried to ask for that she's repulsed by a bj


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## FormerSelf (Apr 21, 2013)

Omgitsjoe said:


> Ask her to swallow you .....
> 
> She'll get repulsed and simply say " no way im going to swallow ..... but i'll at least give you a bj "  there you gooo ........ you can thank me later !!


This is what behaviorists call "foot in door technique." But I suppose "**** in mouth technique" may be applied. I know I'll regret writing that later. 
"...You could swallow or you can spit;
you can throw it up or choke on it....
....I must be an acrobat,
to talk like this and act like that..."


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## Omgitsjoe (Oct 1, 2012)

FormerSelf said:


> This is what behaviorists call "foot in door technique." But I suppose "**** in mouth technique" may be applied. I know I'll regret writing that later.
> "...You could swallow or you can spit;
> you can throw it up or choke on it....
> ....I must be an acrobat,
> to talk like this and act like that..."


I use this often when I want simple PIV and I know she's not in the mood ............... thus I'll ask her if I can get lucky that evening and perhaps get some booooty ( anal for those above 50 yo  ) and she'll get all defensive and offer PIV  !!!! 

Win .... Win no  !?


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## eves (May 21, 2013)

Funny thing,,,,when my wife has performed the act she has always swallowed. In fact, there is a small part of me that kind of would like to have her spit. Well....I mean all over herself as opposed to getting up to go to the sink or to find a cup or whatever.


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