# I'm so frustrated with this situation



## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Tonight when the wife and I are making out before we get down to having sex, she starts shying away from me getting to close to her. Bottom line, my legs felt a little sweaty and she didn't like it, so she started pulling away. Talk about an instant boner killer. It really irked me. So the woman who doesn't like to give BJ's offers up some oral to get me back to a full erection. Eventually I got to the point where we could have sex. It was decent, but I'm highly disappointed in how this turned out. 

Maybe I'm not in the happiest of moods today. Maybe the resumption of healthier eating and hitting the weights hard again is getting to me since I'm still in that soreness phase. But for some reason, having her pull away from me like she did tonight because I was a little sweaty pissed me off. I'm still pissed about it. I told her how it made me feel and I get in response "I'm tired and want to go to sleep. Let's talk about this in the morning". Bullsh!t. I wanted to have it out right then and there. It hurt. It made me feel less desirable to her. IDK, I'm probably making too much out of this, but I'm angry over this.

Sorry, just had to vent.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

You just described my usual experience. Sorry.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

Do you mean you are hurt/pissed that she pulled away from you and stayed pulled away? Or just pulled away for that quick second and then she was back?

I think what you are really getting at (reading between the lines) is that if someone is hot and into sex with you, a light mist of sweat shouldn't make them pull back. If anything it should turn them on a bit. Am I close?


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> Do you mean you are hurt/pissed that she pulled away from you and stayed pulled away? Or just pulled away for that quick second and then she was back?
> 
> I think what you are really getting at (reading between the lines) is that if someone is hot and into sex with you, a light mist of sweat shouldn't make them pull back. If anything it should turn them on a bit. Am I close?


Yeah, pretty close. Also, I'd say we've been in a rut for the past two months as well where the sex seems more mundane than in the past. I'm not saying that all our experiences have been mundane, but a high percentage of them have been.

She didn't stay pulled away after I called her on it. After the 3rd time that I noticed that she did it, I lost the erection and I was starting to tell her to forget it and leave the bed. That's when she wouldn't let me leave and started giving oral.

I'm still irritated.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

WorkingOnMe said:


> You just described my usual experience. Sorry.


Sorry man. I'm hoping that this experience for me will be more of a one off and not the start of a new trend.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

maybe you could always take a shower before so as not to be sweaty.

if you take a shower and she still pulls away then you know something else it up.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

I'm sorry you were hurt and frustrated by that. 

Is your wife typically sensitive to being over-warm? I am extremely sensitive to heat, and being very close to a hot sweating man can make me feel smothered - like I'm trapped beneath a wet wool blanket on a hot summer night and the air conditioner has died. It's just completely unsexy to me, and it makes me cranky and ill-tempered - not a good atmosphere for love. Give me a roll in the leaves while we're out looking for a Christmas tree in late December and I'm in heaven, but if it's too warm and/or humid, or he's generating heat like a furnace and sweating, I'm just not feeling it. It's not a "clean" thing or even a "I don't accept him" thing. It's a "I feel like I can't breath" thing. 

So, does your wife like being hot and sweaty in general? Does it make her feel sexy? If no, it very well may be that she dislikes hot sex because she dislikes being hot, not because she dislikes sex. A shower before bed for you, a cooler temperature in the bedroom, or fewer covers might be some things you could try, at least to figure out if that's the problem or it's something else.

How is your relationship overall?


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

So, other than this incident, is sex normally good? Was this an isolated event or part of a bigger pattern you see unfolding?

The answer to those questions will help you determine why this particular encounter was so upsetting.

I sense a little resentment when you say *"the woman who doesn't like to give BJs offers up some oral..."*

What's up with that?


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

women are very sensitive to smells and the ickiness factor. How about you two take a shower together before sex. Soapy fun is aways good, and you can get her boobs squeaky clean in the process

and a SMALL spitz of cologne could not hurt either


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

My husband and I often get sweaty during our romps. I will pull away for a second to let some air in between us, and so will he. No big deal. 

In fact I find it more of a mood killer when I'm sticking to him. lol I get HOT all the time, so we make sure to run the ceiling fan at full blast to try to keep me cool. But sometimes we still have to pull away and breath for a second.


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

Rowan said:


> I'm sorry you were hurt and frustrated by that.
> 
> Is your wife typically sensitive to being over-warm? I am extremely sensitive to heat, and being very close to a hot sweating man can make me feel smothered - like I'm trapped beneath a wet wool blanket on a hot summer night and the air conditioner has died. It's just completely unsexy to me, and it makes me cranky and ill-tempered - not a good atmosphere for love. Give me a roll in the leaves while we're out looking for a Christmas tree in late December and I'm in heaven, but if it's too warm and/or humid, or he's generating heat like a furnace and sweating, I'm just not feeling it. It's not a "clean" thing or even a "I don't accept him" thing. It's a "I feel like I can't breath" thing.
> 
> ...



:iagree:

When I get hot and pull away it doesn't mean I'm disgusted, or think he is icky or anything like that. I'm just smothered. 

I hate being hot. I'd much rather have sex in the freezing cold.

I think OP is reading too much in between the lines, but of course I don't know his relationship. It sounds like there are deeper issues than just her getting hot and pulling away.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Tonight when the wife and I are making out before we get down to having sex, she starts shying away from me getting to close to her. Bottom line, my legs felt a little sweaty and she didn't like it, so she started pulling away. Talk about an instant boner killer. It really irked me. So the woman who doesn't like to give BJ's offers up some oral to get me back to a full erection. Eventually I got to the point where we could have sex. It was decent, but I'm highly disappointed in how this turned out.
> 
> Maybe I'm not in the happiest of moods today. Maybe the resumption of healthier eating and hitting the weights hard again is getting to me since I'm still in that soreness phase. But for some reason, having her pull away from me like she did tonight because I was a little sweaty pissed me off. I'm still pissed about it. I told her how it made me feel and I get in response "I'm tired and want to go to sleep. Let's talk about this in the morning". Bullsh!t. I wanted to have it out right then and there. It hurt. It made me feel less desirable to her. IDK, I'm probably making too much out of this, but I'm angry over this.
> 
> Sorry, just had to vent.


Buy you a giant FAN and turn that baby all the way up.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

Thanks for all the feedback so far. To answer some questions. We went to the park in the evening to do some speed walking for about 45 min - hour, went home and we both took showers prior to getting busy. Also, we do have a nice ceiling fan that we had cranked up on high, but the room was still fairly warm. 

I pressed her for more info and it turns out that she wasn't really in the mood but it was "our night" to have sex. We are doing it every other day, so evidently even though she wasn't in the mood last night she still went for it. I have a HD, so I start to get cranky if we go too long without having sex. She was stressed out about a small issue with money (more like, how do we rearrange our savings in order to save for something), and the fact that the older girl that she's been babysitting for since birth is going to be transitioning into full time preschool. My wife said it felt like we were losing a child - which is a far cry from what she normally tells me when she hits her limit with these girls she provides daycare for.


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

TheCuriousWife said:


> :iagree:
> 
> When I get hot and pull away it doesn't mean I'm disgusted, or think he is icky or anything like that. I'm just smothered.
> 
> ...


As far as I'm aware, there really aren't any major issues. We communicate well and I think our marriage is strong overall. Also, sex seems to be normally good for both of us, but I think my wife has been feeling more stress lately with the work leading up to a first communion party for your youngest and now the issue that came up yesterday.

The only other thing I can think of is we seem to get stuck in a rut from time to time where the sex seems the same. She's into it, but not with as much variety as I would like. I guess there's that to consider as well.

Maybe I obsess too much about maximizing our encounters to the fullest? IDK.


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## nuclearnightmare (May 15, 2013)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> Tonight when the wife and I are making out before we get down to having sex, she starts shying away from me getting to close to her. Bottom line, my legs felt a little sweaty and she didn't like it, so she started pulling away. Talk about an instant boner killer. It really irked me. So the woman who doesn't like to give BJ's offers up some oral to get me back to a full erection. Eventually I got to the point where we could have sex. It was decent, but I'm highly disappointed in how this turned out.
> 
> Maybe I'm not in the happiest of moods today. Maybe the resumption of healthier eating and hitting the weights hard again is getting to me since I'm still in that soreness phase. But for some reason, having her pull away from me like she did tonight because I was a little sweaty pissed me off. I'm still pissed about it. I told her how it made me feel and I get in response "I'm tired and want to go to sleep. Let's talk about this in the morning". Bullsh!t. I wanted to have it out right then and there. It hurt. It made me feel less desirable to her. IDK, I'm probably making too much out of this, but I'm angry over this.
> 
> Sorry, just had to vent.


well I'm a big advocate of anger
:lol:

sounds like she loves you. how about a window air conditioner or room air conditioner? also in terms of being in a sexual rut - maybe tryout a change in your sexual style. it's interesting how much literature there is now about "being taken" as something women like. even adds to the husnband's overall sexappeal, somehow. maybe that's your style anyway though...


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Plan,

After reading your last two posts, I believe you maybe made a mountain out of a li'l old molehill here...

So she had a lot on her mind, you were a little sweaty, she wasn't exactly in the mood, but she did it anyway. Very good on her part.

Seems completely normal to me...


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> As far as I'm aware, there really aren't any major issues. We communicate well and I think our marriage is strong overall. Also, sex seems to be normally good for both of us, but I think my wife has been feeling more stress lately with the work leading up to a first communion party for your youngest and now the issue that came up yesterday.
> 
> The only other thing I can think of is we seem to get stuck in a rut from time to time where the sex seems the same. She's into it, but not with as much variety as I would like. I guess there's that to consider as well.
> 
> Maybe I obsess too much about maximizing our encounters to the fullest? IDK.


I just want to say.. some of us can get stuck in these obsessive moods when we really want what we want...it was your night..you had your hopes up....just something little (like this) can set us off...it sucks to be looking forward to something with intensity ...then WHAM....something kills it.... It happens.. we're not perfect....and our emotions get the best of us.... You're still a good man... you just want your wife !

I felt like this a # of times when my H couldn't keep up with my sex drive.. In a way I miss those days..now I can go days and not even get irritated.. But back then....I was getting irritated if we missed a DAY...and there were times he was stressed at work ....I had to calm my jets.. poor man. Being on Tam actually helped me with this ...diverting my attention... 

The vast majority of marriage have mismatched libidos... but overall, you know it's GOOD.. she is there for you... this is where you need to focus when these feelings want to RAGE over you in a moment...it's like you need to barrage yourself with positive feedback- concentrating on the good... (easier said than done... believe me I KNOW!).... 

This is rather silly.. but I had to write myself this Page of interactions / things my H has said / some of our "Mountaintop" moments ....regarding our sex life....to remind myself .."YES.. my H loves sex , so shut up woman!"..... so when I had these ANTSY emotions want to take over my mood, I could get this out, and read this so I could soothe myself.... whatever it takes !

Hopefully she made up for it the next night Plan 9 from OS, getting back in the saddle again.. We mess up..... just apologize for loving her too much..I can sure think of worse things!)... 

It's like the lyrics of this Bryan Adams song... Please forgive me



> The one thing I'm sure of
> Is the way we make love
> The one thing I depend on
> Is for us to stay strong
> ...


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

I guess I was overly sensitive - probably due to me jumping back into my fitness plan. Last night turned out much better. Thanks everyone for your help.


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

shower after working out, before sex
some women dont like sweaty nads

I LOVE sweaty woman, especially after a work out, and some women like that as well...but most women dont want a sweaty guy humpin and pumpin on top of them


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## Plan 9 from OS (Jul 13, 2012)

missthelove2013 said:


> shower after working out, before sex
> some women dont like sweaty nads
> 
> I LOVE sweaty woman, especially after a work out, and some women like that as well...but most women dont want a sweaty guy humpin and pumpin on top of them


I did shower after working out. The problem was the humidity outside plus having your pores open after the hot shower.


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## Q tip (Apr 15, 2014)

Plan 9 from OS said:


> I did shower after working out. The problem was the humidity outside plus having your pores open after the hot shower.


Ah ha. The answer. Cooler shower...


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Have you ever tried putting powder down below? I noticed that I get extremely hot below sometimes so I have started to powder myself after a shower. I use this stuff called Balla Powder and it works great. It refreshes your lower section and has a pleasurable smell that she might enjoy. Give it a shot. You'll thank me later. Good luck

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Hot and sweaty man, yes please.
Man with powder, no thanks.

We are all different but I love my man all hot and sweaty after sports, tennis etc.


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## Juice (Dec 5, 2013)

Holland said:


> Hot and sweaty man, yes please.
> Man with powder, no thanks.
> 
> We are all different but I love my man all hot and sweaty after sports, tennis etc.


Holland I wish every woman had that mentality. Unfortunately OP needs the powder 

_Posted via *Topify* on Android_


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