# Marriage more like room mates



## carbide74 (Jul 23, 2008)

I have been married for six years to a woman that i love and that is beatiful. Before we were married we were inimate and very much in love. Now it seems that Im only paying rent for somewhere to live, and i happen to have a room mate i dont get along with. We might have sex 2 or 3 times a year. She does nothing but sleep. She takes offense to everything i say and do, and i am pretty much not allowed to touch her be around her, or talk to her in any intimate way. I am now so frustrated by her lack of interest that i have found my self trying to stay away from the house. I have had chances to cheat, but i havent, but everyday that goes by it looks like a pretty good idea. Any thoughts. willing to take any advice


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## hitrockbottom (Jun 3, 2008)

You got to sit her down and let her know how you are feeling..It is not fair to the both of you to suppress your emotions as such


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## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

From what you've said, it sounds as though your wife may be depressed. I would seriously address it from this angle before taking any drastic measures on your own.


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

does she want you to move out. consider talking to eachother , just to see if you get a response from her. ask her what she wants.
otherwise you wil b going around in circles for a while, rather than tackling the issues until you are at an exploding point - which you might not be far from. 
because the lack of attention that your gettin. it simply hurts.
but i really think you should start of at this point, rather than taking n e rash decisions. 
its only then you can take the next step progressing, which either path you take.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

carbide74 -
Interested to know more... Do you get on in other ways? Do you have kids, or anyone else living with you in the house?


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## totalcpl (Aug 5, 2008)

I feel your pain. My wife in the past has made the comment to me, "it's like we're roommates not husband & wife." Naturally...I really had no idea what she was talking about but recently found out when she told me she didn't love me anymore. Since then...I really made a super effort to change the way I talk, listen & treat her by following the principles in the book "*The Five Languages of Love*" by Gary Champman.

My wife hasn't responded yet and has not read the book; however, I am optimist that things will work themselves out. I am taking to heart what Jesus said, "*Give and it will be given to you*."

Good luck and I strongly suggest the book, "*The Five Language of Love*"...it really opened my eyes to why my wife & I had grown apart.

Best wishes...

Roco


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## Chopblock (Mar 21, 2008)

I think we need a lot more information here -- particularly about her and what she is going through.

Were there any catalysts or single events you can pinpoint which may have caused this change (job stuff, passing of a loved one...)

Are there things she has asked you to improve, but you have not responded? (think REALLY hard about this one -- do you not help with chores, do you lack ambition or drive that she craves?)

What HAVE you done to show her you care? I used to get sex at best every 6-8 months so I know your pain. But if your actions just scream "I'm buttering you up for sex" then she will SEE that, and she will withhold more. You have to do things for her that are JUST for her.

Many women here who are frustrated with their husbands say that housework and help with the kids goes a LONG way. Gestures like calling her during work to tell her you miss her, or telling her something you like about her every day go a long way too.

We need to know more about you also. Are you having financial difficulties? Do you guys have goals or dreams you share? Do you have interests in common? Does she have other friends or is she lonely?

More info please.


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