# Questions for you who are already divorced or dating



## stbxhmaybe (Apr 29, 2010)

I am a few days or maybe weeks short from the dissolution of my marriage.

I feel hopeful but also mortified sometimes. I have never been the guy that have been in a lot of formal relationships, just a couple. I am just 28. When I met my still wife, it wasn't even expecting or looking to get married...it just happened.

Anyway, my questions are: For all of you that have remarried, or are dating again. Has it gotten better? do you really feel a difference from being in an unhappy marriage? or is just the same but with a different person?

We were good people, hard-workers, sincere, with problems like everybody else, good husband and wife in our own way but there was no chemistry at the end. At the same time, I have seen so many marriages that are still married just for the heck of it. They are not longer in love, they treat each other like crap, and they make their lives miserable. Sadly, it is the majority, the older the marriage the more unhappy people seem to be. I have also seen some good marriages but they are not that many. 

I just want to get some feedback, because honestly I have great hopes to find the one but it would suck if the one will become NOT the one after a couple of years like it happened to my marriage


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

I have been divorced for nearly 7 years now. My marriage was a miserable, horrible disaster - truly a nightmare. 

My current relationship of almost a year has its own troubles, I can't deny that. However, it is very different. With my marriage, everything that was wrong was just another reason to be unhappy. With my current relationship, anything that is wrong is something for us to sit down, talk about, and try to resolve and fix so we can be happy together. 

The thing is, though, that ALL relationships are different. And there is no guarantee that any relationship will last. I love my boyfriend to death, as he does me, but we have no guarantee that we will last forever. We both hope we will, and we work very hard to ensure that happens, but there are no promises. 

Love is all about taking chances. You take a chance when you say hello to that cute guy in line. You take a chance on the first date; the first "I love you"; the first intimate encounter. It's ALL about chances. Sometimes those chances turn out wonderfully; sometimes not so much. But if you never take the chance, then you never find the one. 

Also keep in mind that even a failed relationship serves a purpose in your life. It shows you what you don't want; what you shouldn't do; what you can't live with. My marriage was a nightmare; but from it I learned that fidelity and respect were two of the most important things to me, as well as affection and trust. I have kept those things in mind in the years since my divorce, and when I met my truck driver, I knew he was the guy for me because he gave me the fidelity, respect, affection, and proved to me that I could trust him. When we go through a tough time, I hold onto those things, and our love, and we get through. 

Don't give up. You haven't even started the search yet; keep your hopes high and don't settle for less than you deserve.


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## stbxhmaybe (Apr 29, 2010)

You are completely right. 

If I hadn't taken the chance to do so many things in my life, I wouldn't be where I am. It's just hard but time heals and I am still healing from all the crazy 2010. I hope 2011 will be nicer to me haha.

Thank you so much for your words of courage and I wish the same to you to keep on having more happiness than sadness in your life


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