# Separate Bedrooms



## claretfan (Sep 15, 2010)

Married now just over 10 years. We don't have much of a sex life (and never have done) and now this morning she says she wants a separate bedroom.

She also said she doesn't want a divorce and she still loves me. 

I guess I am confused about what she does want.

Anyone have any insights?


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## calimom82 (Jan 25, 2009)

Are you willing to live this way? Any chance of the two of you attending MC? I don't think I could ever live with someone who didn't want intimacy, and then on top of it a separate room. Good luck to you both.


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## MJUltra (Sep 28, 2010)

Doesn't seem realistic, but is there any hope of reconciliation? Is this something you have worked on? If not, start now. If you already have, ask yourself what your life looks like when you have no intimacy with your spouse. Or, is this a temporary "break" that may do you both some good where you don't have that issue between you. If there are kids, then that complicates things as you have to explain why.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I completely understand it. What she loves is the security of a marriage without the responsibility of participating in one. She's fine with riding in the canoe but doesn't want to paddle or steer. If you two aren't lovers, what exactly is this arrangement and what purpose does it serve for you?


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

She's basically saying she doesn't ever want to have sex with you again. But still have you bring home a paycheck and be her friend.

You need to bump back on that.


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## holdingtwenty (Jul 28, 2010)

Is not having a sex life OK with you? I do not think that would be OK with me. I believe that being married comes with responsibility. That means satisfying your partner sexually (as well as emotionally, physically, etc.). Even when I did not have sex with my wife I loved sleeping in the same bed with her. I loved her legs or arms on me, I loved her smell. I loved her saying good morning to me. If living as roommates is OK with you, and you really love each other very much and get along well maybe IT IS good for you. Only you can decide that.

Good luck and hope all works out for you.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Wow. so it took ten years to get in to seperate bed rooms. The way I see it, in twenty years you'll have seperate houses. You need some glue for this marriage and sex is it. Get some MC or some packing boxes.


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## Mad Max (Sep 29, 2010)

Atholk said:


> She's basically saying she doesn't ever want to have sex with you again. But still have you bring home a paycheck and be her friend.
> 
> You need to bump back on that.


Yeah I'd hate to be this guy that just says "This" in a post and that's all but I couldn't have put it better myself.


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## Crazytown (Sep 27, 2010)

well, does she have any other issues? Does she have insomnia? Do you snore?
I mean I do agree with the above posters however I wanted to give her SOME benefit of the doubt...


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