# re-connecting



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Today I have been calling old friends, some of which I have not heard from in decades in an attempt to re-connect. I've been so busy so long, I lost track of many people I once was close with.
Of the 2 I contacted so far, one I now recall was kinda crazy and why I stopped contacting them. The other was a nice re-connection. Maybe a rekindled old friendship.
I'm not expecting much, maybe go out to lunch from time to time and someone to talk to on the phone every now and then
who I know.
This may also help me in leading me to new coping ideas as to my lifes situation as some of my old friends are very sharp and capable people.


----------



## Freckles (May 14, 2009)

Why are you trying to reconnect with old friends. Are you trying to fill a void in your life? Are you not feeling the "friendship" in your relationship? It's important to have friends, but like you said sometimes the ones that in the past are there for a reason. I wouldn't look back, but look ahead. Get out and find someone who has something in common with you. Someone who can relate to you in the here and now... Don't expect too much from one person - it's good to have a few friends... Some friends are good to party with, while others are good to watch a movie with or cry with, while others can put you in your place and keep you real! Good luck with the search...


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

I need more than my husband... since not working have to create a new social network.
It's not easy !!! but I'm working on it.


----------



## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Freckles said:


> I wouldn't look back, but look ahead.


I have to disagree--old friends can be the best ones to move ahead with! These are often the people who have seen you at your worst as well as your best . . . and love you anyway! I've gotten tremendous comfort out of reconnecting with my old friends, people who I've stayed connected with but not in frequent contact. And certainly new friends are also worth searching out, but don't ever hesitate to reconnect with those you once trusted. Chances are, they haven't changed that much, and it takes time to get to know new people and whether you can trust them or not. 

Good luck.


----------



## Crazzy PR Mom (May 1, 2009)

I think re-connecting is great. I have lost all connections to people who weren't really friends, but i would simply past time with. My husband has kind of taken me away from all of them. He felt they didn't deserve my friend ship. Know I'm alone with only one friend to count on.She thinks I'm crazy to still be living this life. Re-connect it can bring you a peace you may have forgotten that they brought you.


----------



## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

I think reconnecting with old friends is a wonderful thing! My H and I have been married for so long that we basically have the same friends, when things started to get rough for H and I, I decided to look up some old friends, I found my old high school friend I haven't talked to in years on MySpace. 

Now she is my best friend.. we see each other often, and it gives me a break from everything else. 

I wish you the best in reconnecting with old friends, it really can help!!


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

I was sick for about 10 days which put a kink in my plans...
Starting next week, plan to join a few classes and other things in the community.
I seem to be having problems in most people I am meeting seem to have some very serious problems. I can only hope and pray someone who is at least somewhat stable shows up. I'm not much into drama.


----------



## Rhea (May 16, 2009)

I'm a Facebook/MySpace addict. I love reconnecting w/people from the past. My husband was never jealous. He hated those sites he's like if I wanted to be found and people to know all about my life I'd get on there but I don't. Funny thing is...when we separated the first thing he did was go out and set up a MySpace profile....interesting. I've never hidden anything I show him all my old "friends" if the conversation moves beyond FB/MS then it always takes place in front of him. I begged my husband to come to my 10 year reunion last year...nope. He didn't want to. 

I'd say in your situation if you're questioning intentions etc. Make a profile and join in even if it's just to "watch" and make sure intentions aren't foul. But that's just IMO

****Oops posted this in the wrong forum, not sure what happened but I don't know how to move it....I'll copy and post in the right forum****Sorry


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Rhea said:


> I'm a Facebook/MySpace addict. I love reconnecting w/people from the past. My husband was never jealous. He hated those sites he's like if I wanted to be found and people to know all about my life I'd get on there but I don't. Funny thing is...when we separated the first thing he did was go out and set up a MySpace profile....interesting. I've never hidden anything I show him all my old "friends" if the conversation moves beyond FB/MS then it always takes place in front of him. I begged my husband to come to my 10 year reunion last year...nope. He didn't want to.
> 
> I'd say in your situation if you're questioning intentions etc. Make a profile and join in even if it's just to "watch" and make sure intentions aren't foul. But that's just IMO
> 
> ****Oops posted this in the wrong forum, not sure what happened but I don't know how to move it....I'll copy and post in the right forum****Sorry


oh dear, I don't want to go that far to go on facebook or one of those sites... lol
I think maybe you posted on the wrong thread?:scratchhead:


----------



## dcrim (Oct 1, 2008)

I've been reconnecting, too. It's good to have "old" friends. New ones are nice, too...but they don't know your history and cannot appreciate what you're going through. I say, go for it!


----------



## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

Good for you on joining groups and finding things to do!! I'm trying to do that as well myself.. My daughter is into cheerleading, so I am doing some volunteering and running of the concession stands during events.. and driving the girls to competitions. Hopefully I can connect to some non snobberish other moms.

I'm a pretty laid back gal.. and a lot of people seem to be uptight and uppity to me.. I guess I need to break those first impressions and try to get to know people more. 

Do things that interest you as well.. I play darts on a dart league.. I meet new people all year long as we play a different team every week. It's great fun, and those people are more my crowd, the laid back type. I don't drink, so they like to pick on me about my can of diet coke I carry around.. but it's still great fun.

Also I planted a garden this year, first time. I dont have a green thumb what so ever, so I joined a gardening club, to learn and meet more people. 

I wish you luck in your "connecting"!!!
SB


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

hey SB
its hard to find people who are nice enough to want to be around. If they aren't severly problem ridden and pycho, they are snobby. Hard to find stable people.

Ones who aren't going to get jelous or dump a world of problems on you to fix. I seek and hope I'll find some nice and semi well adjusted people, but its not easy.
I seem to run into many people I would consider "lost souls" who have alternative lifestyles or those who are just off the deep end like born again christians ( which are more than annoying).

Those who drink ( too much), take drugs ( forget that), are sickly ( I'm not a nurse) wanting friends to "help" them... lazy people whose life is a mess.. deeply immature people or those who are deeply envious...all kinds of things...
Its very disheartening, but I keep looking.

Garden club is a good idea. Thanks


----------



## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

I know it isn't.. there are some nut jobs out there...

I just don't get too close to people unless I feel comfortable around them, not one to pass out my phone number to someone I barely know. And it takes some time to feel comfortable enough to let someone in... 

Thats why I like the anonymity of the internet. You people will probably never meet me.. never know who I am.. so I feel comfortable enough to open up. 

How has the looking up of old friends going? found anyone interesting to reconnect to?


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Sufficiently Breathless said:


> I know it isn't.. there are some nut jobs out there...
> 
> I just don't get too close to people unless I feel comfortable around them, not one to pass out my phone number to someone I barely know. And it takes some time to feel comfortable enough to let someone in...
> 
> ...


I was very sick with a bad cold for about 10 days and got off track... but getting back into it now.

yes, I know what you mean...


----------



## Sufficiently Breathless (May 18, 2009)

good for you! I hope you find someone worth reconnecting with! 

Hope your feeling better.. them spring colds are the worst!!


----------



## preso (May 1, 2009)

Sufficiently Breathless said:


> good for you! I hope you find someone worth reconnecting with!
> 
> Hope your feeling better.. them spring colds are the worst!!



I am trying. It's very uncomfortable to put yourself out there but one of these times someone worth connecting to will come around. I'd say most won't be, so its best to go slow so no ones feelings are hurt when you have to dump them.
I've run into some people who are not only mentally unstable but also may be dangerous.
I had a neighbor like that who tried hard to know me, but I had to push them away due to them having a very unstable lifestyle I feared they would try to harm or rob me. Recently that person moved away under bad terms ( financial devistation) and I'm so grateful 
I kept them out of my life....
as they came over quite a bit and asked all kinds of very personal questions, which were NONE of their business. I felt stalked.
lol

yes my cold is better, it was a bad one for sure, was in bed for 3 days.


----------

