# Thank god for small miracles



## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Well thank god for small miracles at least, I checked the cell phone text message records, was trying to figure out if the stbxw started her EA "just friends" months before, or how long. She did only start to text/call him one day before she gave me the ILYBNILWY speech. I think that this makes me feel a little better, at least she wasn't cheating for months and months before. Not that it's any better, but at least I know that she is very confused, and is reaching for any type of (albeit messed up) false security right now from someone else.


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## Dellia (Jan 6, 2012)

Glad to hear you feel relieved in a way. Good luck to you.


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Why is it so tough to deal with though, that she is now confiding her hopes, dreams, daily problems in him and not me. I still can't get myself to stop asking those questions. I miss the wife she used to be. This is cutting me into a thousand pieces.


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## canguy66 (Dec 18, 2011)

proudwidaddy said:


> Why is it so tough to deal with though, that she is now confiding her hopes, dreams, daily problems in him and not me. I still can't get myself to stop asking those questions. I miss the wife she used to be. This is cutting me into a thousand pieces.


I hear you, and I feel for you. After 4.5 weeks of sheer hell and a very sobering moment on Monday, I came to the realization that I was in a very unhealthy marriage. See the last few posts on my thread for the turn-around I went through. Pathfinder and Dadof3 were a huge help in getting me focused:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-...6691-wife-wants-separate-i-am-devastated.html


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## proudwidaddy (Dec 26, 2011)

Canguy - the petition for paperwork for divorce was filed last week, I don't want this at all. I'm starting to realize though that she has already started the EA, same day she told me she wanted the divorce. I'm doing the 180 now (for me). I've lost 28 lbs in the last two months. I loved the wife she was, the way she used to treat me, but the person she is now I don't know who this is. I'm so hurt by the betrayal, the feeling of abandonment. Four weeks before she told me she wanted a divorce, she sent me a text proclaiming that she was done with her uncertain thoughts towards me, that she wanted to be with me forever. She even thanked me for giving her space to think. Then three weeks later she dropped the bomb on me. I feel like I will never be able to trust another person. If not for our children, I would have no contact with her completely. I don't know who she is anymore. The sad thing is, she is so completely in a fog that she can't see what she is doing, how it is hurting the children, completely destroying me. It's like she doesn't even care.


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