# I hate being HD...again!



## StarTrekFan (Aug 15, 2012)

I had a nice little run for over an year, when I was a LD. My drive plummeted for a variety of reasons. Kids, Work, School, Church..Life was swamped for both my wife and me. I actually liked that phase. It was great that I rarely thought about sex. Life became more exciting, I started working towards my long term goals. Every day...I felt I was making progress. Life was perfectly compartmentalized into "things to do" and "things to learn".

All that has come to an end. In the last 2-3 months, I turned 40 and my drive is back to insane levels. Now I go to bed thinking about sex, and wake up frustrated about sex. I caught myself several times thinking about sex at work. It has messed up everything, It's becoming harder and harder to focus on my studies. I hate that sex is back to being front-and-center of my mind. I can think two reasons...why my drive came back roaring...I lost bunch of weight...around 9% of my body weight. It certainly did not help that my wife, who previously had little drive is at her highest peak in 12 years since marriage. She has become more willing, vocal and kinky in the bed.

To any LD people reading this, I get it...really..I get you guys and envy you now. Being LD was awesome...at least for me.Sex did not cloud my thinking and creep into other areas of my life back then. Now I get up early in the morning to hit the books and I can't focus on it. I have to fight the temptation of going over to my wife who is sleeping and start a romp. It certainly does not help, when she goes along with it every single time.

Ok...rant over... Thanks for listening


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Life truly seems like it would be simpler on that side of the fence.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

If you and your wife both have an elevated sex drive, I really don't see what the problem is. My wife and I both notice that our marriage seems better with a fulfilling sex life. I can tell you for sure it was miserable when we were sexless last year. 

Before you call me a sex maniac like my wife used to. I experience a connection with my wife like no other when we are making love. I have tried to get this connection in other ways with her and it's just not happening. About the closest to it is when we cuddle and make out on the couch. So for us, sex will be happening for as long as we are able. 

Ray
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StarTrekFan (Aug 15, 2012)

Rayloveshiswife said:


> If you and your wife both have an elevated sex drive, I really don't see what the problem is._Posted via Mobile Device_


The problem is...in-spite of higher drives on both of us, we do not have enough sex, perhaps once a week. And it's nobody's fault. My wife puts ridiculous amount of hours at work and is going to be that way for a few months. So she works late into the night at home. I go to bed around 10, and wake up couple of hours earlier than everyone else to hit the books. There are few other things going on as well, which has made life a bit more stressful and anxious than normal.

Adding my higher sex drive to this mix creates emotional chaos that I am not managing well right now. I will eventually figure it out. But right now., it's not working very well.


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## Rayloveshiswife (Sep 25, 2013)

Have you thought about scheduling sex. My wife and I have crazy schedules which have us going to bed and getting often hours apart. We have scheduled sex for Sunday afternoon, Tuesday when I go to bed (about 7ish) and either Thursday or Friday evening. There will be many that say that doing this takes the run out of it, but I disagree. I know I'm having sex Tuesday evening so we both tend to look forward to it, get worked up for it, and often send sexy texts teasing each other. It worked for us. 

Try it. Having more sex will also help you concentrate more as you will get a release more often. 

Ray
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Want2StayMarried (Oct 14, 2014)

I agree with Ray completely! Schedule it in. You both have high sex drives so as worked up as you are if should be nothing short of getting excited for the time to come. Literally.


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## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

StarTrekFan said:


> The problem is...in-spite of higher drives on both of us, we do not have enough sex, perhaps once a week. And it's nobody's fault. My wife puts ridiculous amount of hours at work and is going to be that way for a few months. So she works late into the night at home. I go to bed around 10, and wake up couple of hours earlier than everyone else to hit the books. There are few other things going on as well, which has made life a bit more stressful and anxious than normal.
> 
> Adding my higher sex drive to this mix creates emotional chaos that I am not managing well right now. I will eventually figure it out. But right now., it's not working very well.


I agree with Ray, schedule! If you go to bed at 10, and she stays up later to work... I'd say that she really needs a work break right around 9:30, yeah? She can continue working after you go to bed. And I think that you might need a study break in the morning, right around the time she wakes up.

If you're both satisfying your high drives, then you'll be more productive the rest of the time, because you won't be so distracted.

And seriously... I understand that there's stuff to do, and you're both busy, but years from now, when you're on your deathbed, you'll probably with you had spent more time naked and making love to your wife and less time on the stuff that we all think is so important but really isn't. You BOTH need to prioritize your relationship, to ensure that it will still be there and healthy after all this craziness is over.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

On the subject of scheduling...

When I was high high drive..I could hardly concentrate, hardly needed sleep - all I could think about was SEX SEX SEX...& when I'd get him alone...it was not good for me to get my hopes up & it not happen... this would greatly frustrate me...

Husband had a hard time keeping up with me.. he couldn't..

Not that my schedule was full being pretty much a stay at home Mom.. but what I did was ...I LIVED & breathed around his erections, I didn't care when..I'd be ready!!.. mornings was his BEST TIME.. so I'd set the alarm an hour early... sometimes at night he needed a little sleep eye & he'd tell me to wake him up, plenty of romps at 2:am even..

I think the higher drive needs to make accommodations with the lower drive spouse.. so it is easier on them...so it won't seem like a burden... it was very calming FOR ME knowing I had something to look forward to... even if it was kinda scheduled.. it helped me get through that craziness...


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## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

SimplyAmorous said:


> On the subject of scheduling...
> 
> When I was high high drive..I could hardly concentrate, hardly needed sleep - all I could think about was SEX SEX SEX...& when I'd get him alone...it was not good for me to get my hopes up & it not happen... this would greatly frustrate me...
> 
> ...


I always love to hear your story! As a woman going through the sex crazies, I am so jealous of how wonderful and accommodating your husband is. :smthumbup:


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