# She could be pregnant by another guy



## john41 (Nov 25, 2010)

I am a pretty frequent lurker on this site but my girlfriend are not married yet....we were going to be getting engaged in the next month. In other words, I know the advice might be different based on the fact we aren't married versus married.

Anyways, I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years almost. We found out she was pregnant 2 weeks after we started dating. She had told me she was on the pill....but she later admitted she lied about that. She never was on the pill. When she told me about the pregnancy, I knew something wasn't right....I knew I wasn't getting the whole story. This led to alot of resentment and we ended up taking a break about a month after we found out about the pregnancy. She ended up starting to date some other guy literally days after this.....while she was like 2 months pregnant. She dated him for 3-4 months while I was left out in the cold. I tried contacting her even after they broke up and she would not respond.....so I didn't talk to her the whole pregnancy and did not get to see my son born.

Anyways, the baby was born and DNA testing was done and he was mine. I stepped up and financially supported her and our son. The whole situation with the pregnancy and the fact she was dating someone whole pregnant caused more and more resentment which haunted us for 2 years or so.

We love each other. We have broken up several times over the course of the last 3 years since our son was born. This girl has a bad habit of starting to date another guy within a day or two (literally) of us breaking up.....sleeping with him....then wanting me back once she gets afraid I might actually be looking to date someone else. This has happened 3 or 4 times.

This brings up to the last couple months. We've talked about marriage....engagement....and we both wanted it. We both wanted another baby like very quickly. We ended up breaking up about 2.5 weeks ago. Turns out she started seeing some other guy and he finished in her. This guy has no car, no job...has nothing. Could never support a baby financially.

Of course, last week....I stopped calling her for a day or two. She started calling me and saying she wanted me back, etc. She then dropped that bombshell on me. 

We don't know for sure she is pregnant, yet. I had her take the morning after pill as soon as she told me about this....but by this time it had been 4.5 days since the sex. She has some symptoms.....but with that stuff, the symptoms of your period, using Plan B, and pregnancy are all pretty similar. I will know something for sure within 7-10 days.

I don't know what to do. I'm hurt. Yeah, we were broken up....but why does she have this issue that she needs to sleep with another guy within days of breaking up? Why risk our family by letting another guy finish in you? She used no judgment at all.....I don't get it. I don't know....I've thought about all the scenarios. I just don't think I could stay with her if she was pregnant....she didn't even let me around during the pregnancy of our child! 

I feel like it was cheating.....it's one thing if two people are broken up for months.....but 1 week? Then you want me back? Again, we aren't married.....that probably benefits me here.

I guess I'm just looking for some advice or support. The last few days have been so mentally tough.....the pregnancy tests, looking up symptoms, etc. The hardest part is my son doesn't deserve this.....we were supposed to be a family together. Her stupid decision has possibly ruined this.


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## chefmaster (Oct 30, 2010)

You are a very patient man.



john41 said:


> but why does she have this issue that she needs to sleep with another guy within days of breaking up?


It could be many things like abandonment issues, addiction(to a drug, to sleeping around, etc.)




john41 said:


> I've thought about all the scenarios. I just don't think I could stay with her if she was pregnant....she didn't even let me around during the pregnancy of our child! ?


She certainly has commitment issues. You are probably right in assuming you son may be in harm's way, I would file for custody and move on to try to starting a stable life for my son if I were in your shoes.


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## Jack99 (Nov 21, 2010)

Sorry, but the pattern is clear. Marriage won't change her, that's for sure. I can't understand why you would ever entertain any thoughts of marrying her. You would be putting yourself on the hook for all sorts of financial obligations and all sorts of misery. Support and help take care of your kid (kids???), but *do not marry her* for your own sanity and financial well-being.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Be the best father you can be. As for her, maybe you should keep your distance.


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## Jones (Sep 15, 2010)

How does she manage to find a guy within a day to sleep with? Are you sure she wasn't with these guys when you two were together. 
This sounds like a type of person you should not be committing to for life. Don't marry her. Be there for your kid, but that is it.


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Jones,

Ever been to a bar?

Even the Slumpbusters can find something at closing time.

Atholk says it best. Vaginas are more valuable than penises.

As to the author?

Your significant other needs some intensive psychotherapy. I wouldn't even consider marrying her until she works through her pain and abandonment issues.

Remember this well - you simply cannot "fix her".

Only she can.


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## Jones (Sep 15, 2010)

well Conrad if she is picking up a man after one night in a bar and hooking up all the more reason to run as fast and far away from her as possible


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

Jones said:


> well Conrad if she is picking up a man after one night in a bar and hooking up all the more reason to run as fast and far away from her as possible


If you read his words, you'll see that he needs to work on himself before he'll be able to make that choice.


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## Tufluv (Oct 27, 2010)

I recomend that you step back and look at the big picture as if you were giving advice to a friend of yours. Also, consider these points...1. How would you feel if it were your own mother behaving like this?(hopefully you would feel dissapointed in her and embarassed). 2. What type of a role model would your girlfriend be for these children as a mother figure? 3. Is that type of behavior acceptable in your mind? 4. Would you be proud to call this woman "your wife" , or would you be embarassed and wondering which man she slept with wherever you went? 5. Can you respect someone who tramps around so oftern? 6. Can you trust someone who needs a DNA test to figure out which guy is the father? 7. Do you or can you respect yourself if you don't think that you deserve better than that type of person? 8. Don't you deserve better? 9. Can you trust this person if you marry them for the rest of your life, or will you always wonder what she was doing if she was late coming home from work or if the two of you had an argument? 10. Do you really want to live a life with all of that drama in it-Jerry Springer type stuff?. 11. What would be your mourning time if you just walked away? 3 months, 6 months from now? remember, it hurts at first, but that which does not kill us only makes us stronger and maybe your future holds someone that will respect You and Herself. Are you willing to settle for less than happiness?


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## marco100 (Nov 25, 2010)

DNA test for sure. On both kids.


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