# So Embarrasing



## momfirst (Sep 28, 2007)

Hello Guys!

On past occasions my husband has asked me to do things to him sexually (with my finger) and I am having doubts as to his sexual orientation.

he has also cheated on me (with women) in the past and someone told me that was a sign that he was gay and afraid to admit it.

please advice


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I doubt if he is gay. I have talked online with people that like the feeling of stimulation of the anus or Perineum (slang~taint). As I have said before I talk on other forums one of which combines sex/relationships/love all into one. It is more common then what people might know.

Personally I would not feel comfortable with the dirtiest place of the body being stimulated. But that is just me.

Now if he had a sexual relationship with a guy I'd say worry. 

I think his cheating has nothing to do with his sexuality. It may have to do with getting bored in a sexual relationship.

Personally I detest anyone that cheats. I think there is no excuse for it. I also think that is a bigger problem with your relationship as you noted women as in more then one.

draconis


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## lovemywife (Oct 10, 2007)

let ya in on a lil secret , anal stimulation does feel good for most men , but there is a stigma that says your gay if your a$$ is touched , not true at all .. I myself am homophobic , but still enjoy when my wife play's in that area . 
go ahead and relax on the subject , it's not abnormal , unless this really bothers you to do these things to him , then there's nothing wrong with it .

cheating on you with other women hardly means he's gay , as wrong as it is to do so .
I've never seen a gay guy pick up a girl in a bar :scratchhead:


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## ttpro89 (Oct 12, 2007)

i do it to my husband also.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

momfirst ~ Well there you go it isn't as unusual as you might think.

draconis


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## Doubt&Wonder (Oct 29, 2007)

momfirst said:


> someone told me that was a sign that he was gay and afraid to admit it.
> 
> please advice



NOT TRUE....... Many Men (and women) are turned on by this sexual practice, heck there are even adult toys out there for it - so trust me when I say it does not mean a thing, other than the fact that it pleases him.

As far as sexual adventures go - I personally believe if one partner is not comfortable with a certain sexual act after having tried it at least twice..... then it should no longer be practiced.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Doubt&Wonder said:


> NOT TRUE....... Many Men (and women) are turned on by this sexual practice, heck there are even adult toys out there for it - so trust me when I say it does not mean a thing, other than the fact that it pleases him.
> 
> As far as sexual adventures go - I personally believe if one partner is not comfortable with a certain sexual act after having tried it at least twice..... then it should no longer be practiced.


Very well said but I don't think you should have to try something twice if you are uncomfortable with something. It is all a matter of choice.

draconis


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## fire_vogel (Oct 29, 2007)

draconis said:


> Very well said but I don't think you should have to try something twice if you are uncomfortable with something. It is all a matter of choice.
> 
> draconis


true. @ momfirst, if you don't enjoy it, you should try finding an alternative, why do something that makes the sexual experience unpleasant for you?

and i don't see why that someone told you that your spouse is gay due to the fact that he cheated on you with other women... if he was gay, he would have cheated on you with other men... :scratchhead:

and maybe the issue you should be addressing here is the cheating? and not the sexual orientation of your husband... he seems pretty straight from what you've written... but he does seem to be looking out to experiment sexually.
try out new ideas of how to spice up your sex life, while keeping it pleasant for both of you.


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## kajira (Oct 4, 2007)

Momfirst:

You are not going crazy!  There are quite a few men that I know that enjoy that type of stimulation and are not gay. They say it is just another aspect of enjoying their own sexuality, furthermore, it takes a women who is secure in her own sexuality in order to participate.

As for the cheating part, he is just wrong!


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## fire_vogel (Oct 29, 2007)

though i feel that one should not do what one feels uncomfortable doing


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## Doubt&Wonder (Oct 29, 2007)

draconis said:


> Very well said but I don't think you should have to try something twice if you are uncomfortable with something.




I said twice...... for a person is usually so uncomfortable the first time around that they really do not give it a honest chance or relax enough to see if they truly enjoy it - that is why I always recommended a second time.


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## Doubt&Wonder (Oct 29, 2007)

fire_vogel said:


> and i don't see why that someone told you that your spouse is gay due to the fact that he cheated on you with other women... if he was gay, he would have cheated on you with other men... :scratchhead:


it was not the affair with another woman that made some one say he was gay - but rather it was him wanting to be sexually experimental in the back side that created this miss lead thought.

Hmm - don't most adult people know that the male sexual gland is down there (the prostate gland) therefore he can very well be sexually aroused if entered and touched in the right spot?


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## fire_vogel (Oct 29, 2007)

thanks for the clarification


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

Reguardless of what is stimulating for some people if it is something you are against you should not have to try it. Psychologically you will already have in your mind to get through the first two times to say you are done with it. The idea needs to be she is willing to give it a try, not that it is her duty too.

draconis


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## Doubt&Wonder (Oct 29, 2007)

momfirst said:


> On past occasions my husband has asked me to do things to him sexually (with my finger) and I am having doubts as to his sexual orientation.





draconis said:


> Reguardless of what is stimulating for some people if it is something you are against you should not have to try it.
> 
> 
> The idea needs to be she is willing to give it a try, not that it is her duty too.


Very true indeed - IF one is against any sexual act all together then they should not have to try it..... 

But then again I was answering the original poster based on her thread (not some one else's) and no where in her words did she say she was uncomfortable with his request, but rather that it gave her doubts to his actual sexual orientation.


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## oceanbreeze (Oct 8, 2007)

i've also been told that men like it there. several times i've squeezed my fiance's butt and that gives him the desire to want his anus stimulated. and this constant thinking about it seems to turn him on more. so try this instead. squeeze his butt while you're having sex. your fingers are not in his anal spinxter and it gives him the desire; the want for you to go there, but you're not which may actually create a lot of excitement. also in order for this to happen, he has to be on top so that your hands can easily grab and kiss down his neck while you are squeezing. try it out.


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## fire_vogel (Oct 29, 2007)

yep, trying new things would be a good idea.


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## kajira (Oct 4, 2007)

Experimenting with new things and ideas keeps things in the bedroom fresh. Many times in our busy lifes things become routine or dull and that is not good. When two individuals get together there is excitement and intrigue...two things you have to keep alive


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## fire_vogel (Oct 29, 2007)

kajira said:


> Experimenting with new things and ideas keeps things in the bedroom fresh. Many times in our busy lifes things become routine or dull and that is not good. When two individuals get together there is excitement and intrigue...two things you have to keep alive


i second that


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

kajira said:


> Experimenting with new things and ideas keeps things in the bedroom fresh. Many times in our busy lifes things become routine or dull and that is not good. When two individuals get together there is excitement and intrigue...two things you have to keep alive


No doubts there. You can't keep with the same old routine and expect it to be well recieved. There is also so much that one can do to spice things up.

draconis


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## Doubt&Wonder (Oct 29, 2007)

oceanbreeze said:


> so try this instead. squeeze his butt while you're having sex.


I squeeze all the time........ and I bite too.


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## kajira (Oct 4, 2007)

Fantasy's are another part of the "bedroom" that be a lot of fun. What are your thoughts?


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

kajira said:


> Fantasy's are another part of the "bedroom" that be a lot of fun. What are your thoughts?


Anything that keeps the sparks flying!

draconis


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