# sex after having a baby



## cardifftony (Mar 2, 2013)

Hey all 

This is my first time posting about this. My partner and I had a baby 22 months ago and there has been no sex since we conceived my daughter but the first 9 months where due to medical reasons which I can understand. Since we had out daughter every time I try to go kiss or hug my partner I get pushed off or I get to kiss her forehead or her cheek. 

I do understand that we both work (I work full time and she works part time) that with a baby and working the time for romance is hard to find. I do all the house work and all the cooking because she keeps on complaining that she is tired. 

I suggested she go to the doctors to see if there is a medical reason because she is on antidepressants for the loss of her grandparents 11 years ago but she will not make another doctors app because she feel that she does not need to. I have said about the 
two of us going to counselling but she refuses to do that also. 

I have said about us getting a sitter so we can go out as a couple with no baby but she again refuses to do that. In the evenings when the baby goes to bed all she does is text message her friends and go on facebook (which drives me nuts) when I confront her on this she yells at me saying I don’t want her to have any friends, but I and not allowed out after work for a drink with my friends. 

In the bed room when I do try to remind her that we are a couple and try to do think that gave us our daughter all I get in reply is “I’m tired” and “I feel sick” or now its just a flat “no”. and to top at all of if my daughter wakes up in the night she comes in to our bed to sleep.

I have now hit a wall because I feel that I am being taken for a ride by her and other women has become attractive to me again I know that I am not the type of person to cheat I almost have done but I don’t think next time I will have the self control I did.

If you guys can give me any advice about what to do because I have no clue about what to do.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

cardifftony said:


> Hey all
> 
> This is my first time posting about this. My partner and I had a baby 22 months ago and there has been no sex since we conceived my daughter but the first 9 months where due to medical reasons which I can understand. Since we had out daughter every time I try to go kiss or hug my partner I get pushed off or I get to kiss her forehead or her cheek.
> 
> ...


I am sorry for your problem....I can remember when my wife had our son....We made love 4 hours before her water broke, and were out of our minds with desire waiting for the doctor to say we could resume sex....46 years later, not much has changed......

You and your wife are not meeting each others emotional needs.....It is not an easy task......My wife and I found the book "The 5 love Languages" helpful......We have been together 47 years and just read the book a few weeks ago......WE ARE HAVING PASSIONATE SEX 2-4 TIMES A WEEK.....With love nothing is impossible.....Good luck......


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Congrats on your baby! Sounds like this has been a bit of a transition for you both. Understatement much?

This is a bit extreme considering there is no post partum depression.

I'm not clear on her taking anti depressants to cope with an event 11 years ago. That is a long time and usually prescriptions aren't refilled after a certain time frame unless the patient is still under a therapists care. Is you partner still in therapy? What med exactly is she taking and did she take this during the pregnancy?

All other thoughts are useless until the questions above can be answered.


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