# Romance vs erotica



## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

I decided this belonged to it's own thread, so instead of going off topic, I'm starting a different one.


justdance4me said:


> My mom was the one that got me addicted to erotica, she would recommend the Harlequin Romance books when I was a teenager. Sex was a topic of discussion between mom and me growing up, I think we started talking about it when I was like 10-11. Never heard of any old wives tales about too much sex.
> 
> I think it is healthy to engage in active discussion. I also went to Catholic school too so got one version from mom, other version similar to the nuns by the other poster at school.





WTHeck? Sorry to be off topic, but what in the world does erotica have to do with Harlequin Romance books???? 

Even the "superromance" ones with a little bit more graphic descriptions in the sexual passages... Still, aren't anywhere NEAR comparison to erotica.

Addiction to Romance novels, is addiction, need to read about the "romance" part. 
Addiction to erotica is the addiction to reading about sex.

Are you addicted to both? or... (sorry, thought just occurred to me).. .when your mom gave you harlequin romance books... did you ONLY look for the sex parts, and only read 5% of the book? that you didn't actually read the harlequins????


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## justdance4me (Jul 12, 2013)

Chelle D said:


> I decided this belonged to it's own thread, so instead of going off topic, I'm starting a different one.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ha! My mom was a big romance reader, harlequin etc. I got into them at an early age and my interest just progressed from there. Fifty Shades of Grey, books like that I read for fun. I wouldn't say its an addiction where i HAVE to read, I think they are fun time wasters when you are on vacation, taking a bath etc. 

However, I love love love the romance stories as well, the erotica well its hot. I think both opened my eyes to an array of things I would want from my lover/spouse etc.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

My mom didn't get me Harlequin books. That would have been weird in our family if she had done that. I didn't need her to get them. I just walked myself over to the neighborhood library and borrowed those myself. I went through a phase where I read so many of those cheesy romance books with billionaires, pirates, highwaymen, dukes, and so on. They're all so laughably predictable now in retrospect, but in that phase of my life, I really enjoyed them. Some of the descriptions of sex are hilarious.."He moved his throbbing turgid manhood towards the flowering petals of her womanly center as she blushed furiously.." How can one read that and not laugh? 

Harlequin books aren't erotica. It's romance with some mild sex descriptions. These days though Harlequin type books are trying to up the ante by providing more sexual descriptions than they used to in the past. 

Now I prefer well written erotica that has a story to it. None of that 50 Shades of Gray though. That's just bad erotica. In well written erotica, the description of sex is straightforward with actual words people use and there's a story to keep me hooked.


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## justdance4me (Jul 12, 2013)

I agree I prefer the well written erotica - has to have a good story to keep me hooked. Do you have any to recommend?


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

I do. I'll send you a PM.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

Coffee Amore said:


> I do. I'll send you a PM.


Me too! Me too! Please 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Why by PM and not in the open forum?


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Overall I find TAM is pretty conservative. I prefer not to air on a public forum what I choose to read in private... Your mileage may vary...


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

I agree with Larry... why not just post since there are quite a few ladies who, I have seen, enjoy that sort of thing. Not to mention there are some men who are wishing they could get their wives to spice things up. Erotica might do that for them. Why not just share here?


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

Well in that case PM me too. My wife likes this kind of stuff but good books of that nature are hard to find.


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

can i get a pm also, i like to read!


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

But, just like porn does with women, don't romance books give an unrealistic view of men? That they should all be wealthy, tall, and handsome? I'm curious if anyone believes that romance/erotica actually hurt their relations with real men.

My mother read Harlequin books in the day and is now a Danielle Steele addict instead. I can't find anything redeeming in her books whatsoever, but I have to admit the author has gotten insanely wealthy off of them.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

*"But, just like porn does with women, don't romance books give an unrealistic view of men? That they should all be wealthy, tall, and handsome? I'm curious if anyone believes that romance/erotica actually hurt their relations with real men."*

Yep....just like porn does with women.

But oh well, right?

It is what it is.


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## BjornFree (Aug 16, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> *"But, just like porn does with women, don't romance books give an unrealistic view of men? That they should all be wealthy, tall, and handsome? I'm curious if anyone believes that romance/erotica actually hurt their relations with real men."*
> 
> Yep....just like porn does with women.
> 
> ...


Well at least you don't have threads like " My wife is addicted to romance novels" or "She prefers erotica to me" or "She needs to read erotica before she can have sex with me"......yet.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

There are threads like that actually, just not at TAM.


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

LOL.... I also have a erotica website that I read every once in a while.. .. Some of the stories are pretty well written, some are just junk. 

But, I'm kind of relieved to hear that others also make a big distinction between romance and erotica. I am not completely alone. ( Thank you justdance4me, your post here helped me understand your meaning more.) 

I go thru spurts with the romance "addiction"... No so much addiction, but more active times & less active reading months. I have come to realize that I am much more into the romance novels, when I feel my husband is ignoring me, or is off on his tangents. (Not home much, always doing "stuff" for other people/friends... so not much time left for family at home.)

I appreciate & respect that the erotica sites are not mentioned/shared here within the open public forum. This forum is rather conservative. 

I know that there are differing views on porn sites here. I feel alot has to do with if it has cause trouble in the marriage. Well, Men are so much more visual than women. Women are more vocal/literary than men. 

To me, I think of the erotica sites as a woman's porn. If the men shared porno sites in the Men's clubhouse, some people would be screaming..... screaming "Take the thread down" or "Not appropriate!"


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

BjornFree said:


> Well at least you don't have threads like " My wife is addicted to romance novels" or "She prefers erotica to me" or "She needs to read erotica before she can have sex with me".....*.yet*.


LOL.. Yet..! That might be the key word here.


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

Coffee Amore said:


> I do. I'll send you a PM.


Could I get that PM too? I'm looking for something OTHER than the 50 shades/harlequin crap.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

Chelle D said:


> I know that there are differing views on porn sites here. I feel alot has to do with if it has cause trouble in the marriage. Well, Men are so much more visual than women. Women are more vocal/literary than men.



I agree with you, although if you go to Literotica.com, probably the most popular erotic story site on the Internet, the wierd thing is that the majority of the stories seem to be written by men; at least that's my own experience when browsing there.


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## Youngwifeylovesherhubby (May 8, 2013)

I like the books with Fabio on the cover. They're the cheesiest, most horrible books ever, and I can't get enough of them. Well, couldn't before I got with hubby. Recently, although I have my favorite authors, I don't read them as often. 

Do they give am unrealistic view of relationships? Yeah, but so do fairy tales and rom-com. Seriously though, I've read my share of romance and erotica. I'm a huge fan of historical romances, and my hubby's grandma gives me her books when she's done with them.


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

BjornFree said:


> Well at least you don't have threads like " My wife is addicted to romance novels" or "She prefers erotica to me" or "She needs to read erotica before she can have sex with me"......yet.


Perhaps we'll have to start saying that ladies "use" romance novels rather than read them.


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

If it gets you aroused, it is porn...romance novels, 50 shades, internet sex tubes, Victorias secret catalog, or the ladies undie section of the sears roebuck......

It is all porn if it arouses the viewer...

To make distinctions is at the very least hypocritical....


the woodchuck


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## Chelle D (Nov 30, 2011)

My point was that romance novels do not get me aroused.(Yes, You can accuse me of assuming that most women would fall into same category as me.)

Just like watching a good drama or funny/romance movie does not get me "hot".


But reading specific erotica does arouse & I consider it more of "woman's porn". Just like hubby viewing nudey pics on internet gets him "hot"/ ie, his porn.


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