# Beauty and sex



## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
Just curious for other men: How important is it to you that your partner in bed be extremely attractive. Given a choice between a stunningly beautiful woman who was average in bed, or a average looking woman who was stunningly good (for you) in bed, which would you pick.

Personally I have a sort of beauty threshold - There are some women I don't find at all attractive, but of the many that I do, just how attractive they are to me doesn't make a whole lot of difference.


A similar question for women would be interesting too.


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

I'd pick the average looking woman who is great in bed. There are many average women I find attractive, and many I do not. Part of that is due to different physical traits, but a lot of it has to do with personality and intellect. Some of my best experiences have been with average looking women. Also realize that what I think is beautiful or average may not match with someone else's perception, so this is a rather subjective judgment.

If I can get it all - beauty, personality, intellect, etc., AND extraordinary in bed - I'd go for that, naturally. And I did!


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## naiveonedave (Jan 9, 2014)

I my opinion, I think I have a floor to looks and anything that is above that is good enough. Then I go for quality.


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## NorCalMan (Dec 14, 2011)

In college, I slept with a gorgeous gal who had been a beauty pageant queen. The sex was just ok. She was not very enthusiastic and was quite passive. I also slept with another gal who was very average looking and a bit overweight and the sex was absolutely terrific. I could not get enough of her and she was open to anything and everything.


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## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

NorCalMan said:


> In college, I slept with a gorgeous gal who had been a beauty pageant queen. The sex was just ok. She was not very enthusiastic and was quite passive. I also slept with another gal who was very average looking and a bit overweight and the sex was absolutely terrific. I could not get enough of her and she was open to anything and everything.


The good locking ones have come to expect to get everything without having to really work for it because they are beautiful. Hence the mediocre sex.

I will take the average looking woman over the gorgeous one any day. Usually get a better personality too.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

Are you talking long term or short term? It's an important distinction because looks fade on both sides with time. But really you're missing out on the most important question...how are they in the kitchen!


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Odds are the beauty queen ain't cookin' (in the bed or the kitchen  )


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
I was thinking short term, casual sex (assuming that is something you might do in the right situation).



Bananapeel said:


> Are you talking long term or short term? It's an important distinction because looks fade on both sides with time. But really you're missing out on the most important question...how are they in the kitchen!


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Just curious for other men: How important is it to you that your partner in bed be extremely attractive. Given a choice between a stunningly beautiful woman who was average in bed, or a average looking woman who was stunningly good (for you) in bed, which would you pick.
> 
> Personally I have a sort of beauty threshold - There are some women I don't find at all attractive, but of the many that I do, just how attractive they are to me doesn't make a whole lot of difference.
> ...


If I'm single and faced with this dilemma (which I have been)...

I picked the one that annoyed me the least.


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## Bananapeel (May 4, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> I was thinking short term, casual sex (assuming that is something you might do in the right situation).


As long as they met my minimum looks threshold then I'd choose whomever was better in bed. But since I wouldn't know ahead of taking them to bed and it's rude to have the other wait outside as a spare while you take the first for a test drive, I'd pick whomever I clicked with the best.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

naiveonedave said:


> I my opinion, I think I have a floor to looks and anything that is above that is good enough. Then I go for quality.


That is the typical male reaction.

The typical female reaction is different.


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## Joey2k (Oct 3, 2014)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> 
> 
> Personally I have a sort of beauty threshold - There are some women I don't find at all attractive, but of the many that I do, just how attractive they are to me doesn't make a whole lot of difference.


Same here. Sort of like the sign at amusement parks, "You must be this hot to ride". As long as you meet the minimum standard, you're on.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

For me, casual sex has occurred when I am all dressed up alone and then catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, so all the way with looks >


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

I think the average looking girl is probably going to be more engaging, open and active. The looker will probably be passive due to the fact that she has already been used by other guys before or because it comes so easy for her that she doesn't need to try. The best sex I ever had was was with an average looking girl. The worst was with a drop dead gorgeous woman with a real sense of entitlement about her.


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## larry.gray (Feb 21, 2011)

technovelist said:


> That is the typical male reaction.
> 
> The typical female reaction is different.


I will argue that it is a tiny bit different.

Once the guy finds a woman above the suitable threshold, the guy doesn't view it as settling for what he could get. He's just happy.

If a woman doesn't get the super stud, she looks at it as settling.


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## tech-novelist (May 15, 2014)

larry.gray said:


> I will argue that it is a tiny bit different.
> 
> Once the guy finds a woman above the suitable threshold, the guy doesn't view it as settling for what he could get. He's just happy.
> 
> If a woman doesn't get the super stud, she looks at it as settling.


I consider that much more than a 'tiny bit' different.

Otherwise, I agree with you.


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## Wolf1974 (Feb 19, 2014)

So long as I find her sexually attractive I'm good to go. I am very visual so I have never been able to understand guys who have sex with women they don't find sexually appealing . Each their own I guess


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

good evening
Its interesting how many guys feel that very attractive women may behave in negative ways.


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## DallasCowboyFan (Nov 20, 2012)

When you consider someone to date and potentially have a long term relationship, I always had to date, to get up close and smell her, to kiss her, to hold her hand, to see her without makeup, to know what it feels like to hold her......then I could tell you how attractive she is to me. A beauty today will not look the same first thing on Saturday morning after 10 years and 2 kids. But if all the other factors make her beautiful, there is no reason for that beauty to fade. And if all the other factors are there, so is passion. And if the passion is good and the chemistry is right, all the physical elements fall into place. I know you didn't ask about long term relationships, but I have to think of it that way. I never tried to judge the passion by looks alone.


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## EllisRedding (Apr 10, 2015)

At the end of the day I find that beauty (in my eyes) will adjust based on personality. I have seen plenty of knockouts, but once they start talking, meh... On the other hand there have been females who are attractive at the start (maybe not head turners) but once you get to know them their beauty is well beyond anything the "knockouts" had.


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## Kivlor (Oct 27, 2015)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Just curious for other men: How important is it to you that your partner in bed be extremely attractive. Given a choice between a stunningly beautiful woman who was average in bed, or a average looking woman who was stunningly good (for you) in bed, which would you pick.
> 
> Personally I have a sort of beauty threshold - There are some women I don't find at all attractive, but of the many that I do, just how attractive they are to me doesn't make a whole lot of difference.
> ...


I'll pick an average girl who's great in bed every time. I've tried the other way around, and if we're not on the same page in bed, things always fall apart eventually. 

Of course, that may be in part because I have specific appetites to satiate...


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## Lionelhutz (Feb 2, 2012)

No matter how beautiful a woman is, if she is sexually dead, or has at best a borderline sex drive, then I will lose interest. Even if she was "willing" but not eager, I don't want a real life sex doll.

Therefore, although I need to a basic level of physical attraction, I would give much more weight to sexual enthusiasm and skill.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening
> Just curious for other men: How important is it to you that your partner in bed be extremely attractive. Given a choice between a stunningly beautiful woman who was average in bed, or a average looking woman who was stunningly good (for you) in bed, which would you pick.
> 
> Personally I have a sort of beauty threshold - There are some women I don't find at all attractive, but of the many that I do, just how attractive they are to me doesn't make a whole lot of difference.
> ...



I'm going to get into trouble here but Mrs.CuddleBug is a bigger girl and could lose 60 lbs or so.

Do I find her physically hot? No.

But I love her none the less.

I still love cuddling with her and yes, when have sex.

I always tell her she is soft and sexy. I know she likes to hear this but at the same time knows she needs to get in shape.


I've read and heard stories of hot women who are picky what they do in bed. I'm not into this or that, etc.

I've read and heard ladies that are bigger but will rock their man's world anyway imaginable.

The way I see it, the weight can be gained or lost. It's the inner person that's constant. The hot woman that's picky could gain weight and still be picky.

The bigger woman who loves sex could lose the weight and want even more wild sex at that point.


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## pb76no (Nov 1, 2012)

First, being married 20+ years might disqualify my answer. Also being "older" also affects my answer.

Given the above, I think you should change the thread title to beauty and hookups (not sex). Standards for a one and done would be different than anything longer term, at least for me. And neither great looks nor great sex nor even both would be enough by themselves to maintain a marriage or a longer term relationship.


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## Darwin17 (Sep 29, 2015)

I would go for average looks and firecracker in the bed. Looks degrade and who cares once the lights are off.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I definitely know what I find unattractive and no amount of sensual tricks would coax passion out of me. However, the attractive traits come in hundreds of combinations, some are really breathtaking. 

The men I find physically attractive range from mildly to extremely sexually attractive but the reasons seem unfathomable or beyond reason. When I look at my husband I feel a thrill that no other man has matched. He is a physical match for me but there is something more that I can't explain.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Can I offer an opinion on the very attractive women and sexual effort or lack thereof question. 

Paradoxically, far too much and far too little is expected of beautiful women. They are expected to have an inner perfection that matches outer beauty. Based on the way they look, the bar is set high. They look sexual so they should be sexually free-spirited, willing to display themselves and be game for anything. Being human, they have as many hangups, if not more, as the average looking women. 

On the other side, they are not called upon to be more than decorous in the lives of men. Men don't demand too much from beautiful women, just being with one is enough. They don't want to lose the bauble to a rival by asking too much. Sexually lazy beautiful woman are made not born.


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## Marduk (Jul 16, 2010)

Everybody's got deal breakers.

For example, if a smokin' hot woman lights up a cigarette, she instantly becomes not at all hot. I don't know why, I guess I find it gross.

Ironically, if she lights up a cigar, I find it over the top hot.

I suspect everybody -- women and men -- have these kinds of things.


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