# And the hits just keep on coming....



## terrified (Jul 26, 2011)

No questions here really. Just a vent to get out the last few days of hell.

So in another tread I posted that my H had reviled it 'all' on Sunday. I sat in my car for 3 hours posting on here and I thought nothing could get any worse.

I was wrong.

I contacted OW through email. Stupid stupid stupid. I wanted her to know how I felt. It felt like an important and smart idea at the time. It wasn't. She emailed me back on Tuesday to tell me she doesn't give a **** about me or daughter. The fact that I bring up my daughter makes me her laugh. She egged me on, telling me to meet her and 'do this' (WTF? Am I 15?). It was awful.

I didn't go home after my daughter went to sleep and it was awful. He kept saying "what did she say? what did she say?. And all of a sudden I realised he wasn't telling me something. So I said nothing, allowing him to think she told me. And then he did.

She has BEEN IN MY HOUSE. He ****ed her on ON MY LIVING ROOM FLOOR.

Sooo. I kicked him out. I lost it. I through all his **** out the front door as well as him and slammed the door.

but. this is really hard to say. 

Our kitten was in the doorway.

She didn't make it.


I full on had complete break down. I legitimately thought I was going to dye. I didn't think it was possible to ever wake up from that kind of pain, sadness, trauma all at the same time. The cat was very very important to me, to my daughter. My cat died 6 weeks ago giving birth to her. I have been hand nursing since she was 1 day old. My H was there trying to help me but I was also dealing him and her in my house.

Ironically I puked ALL over the living room floor where he had slept with her.

The OW emailed me again last night (unprovoked). To tell once again about how she doesn't care about me or my child, that I am a bad mother and that she is 'ready to meet and do this' when I am.


Is this really happening? This can't be really happening.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

1. Get a restraining order against her and your husband.

2. Contact a lawyer.

3.  I am so sorry  Omg..I can't imagine.

4. Sorry about your kitty too  

Who is this woman? She sounds ghetto.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

OMG! I am soooo very sorry!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Corkey88 (Sep 16, 2010)

Firstly you need to calm down and I know easier said then done. Do you have someone to talk to and I don't mean anyone really close to this situation? Ideally, would be a counselor or something like that. You really need to vent and it should be to a professional. 

Anger clouds your thinking now...and sadness. You have been hit hard with a couple of tragedies in a very short time. You need to breathe, and relax and start trying to think straight but you need help to do this.


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## EmeraldEyez (Jun 17, 2011)

I'm so, so sorry for all that you are struggling with and going through. It seems everytime you think you are dealing with the "wound", more "truth" trickles out and rips it open even more. I contacted the other "women" in my case too. They all knew he was married, that we had two sons....they straight up told me they didn't give a crap about me or the kids, it wasn't their job to, it was his! They laughed at me, one even told me she had "done me a favor", because, aftet all, now I really knew who I was married to. I mean, I don't know what I was thinking in contacting them, part of me hoped they didn't really know about his family, or maybe they'd be a little remorseful and not hurt another family like they did ours, or even as "women", they wouldn't want to do that to another woman. Nope...I kept wanting them to have an ounce of heart or integrity, and "of course" they didn't...I'm sorry for what you and your daughter are going through right now...


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## ViperStorm (Jul 11, 2011)

Corkey88 said:


> Firstly you need to calm down and I know easier said then done. Do you have someone to talk to and I don't mean anyone really close to this situation? Ideally, would be a counselor or something like that. You really need to vent and it should be to a professional.
> 
> Anger clouds your thinking now...and sadness. You have been hit hard with a couple of tragedies in a very short time. You need to breathe, and relax and start trying to think straight but you need help to do this.


:iagree::iagree::iagree:

That is a lot in a short time. No one will judge you for how you reacted - work hard at getting over the anger - vent some more, find someone to talk to, etc. NONE of what just happened is your fault. You will have to find the strength to move forward and you will....it won't come easy.

I'm so sorry to hear about your predicament.


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

terrified said:


> No questions here really. Just a vent to get out the last few days of hell.
> 
> So in another tread I posted that my H had reviled it 'all' on Sunday. I sat in my car for 3 hours posting on here and I thought nothing could get any worse.
> 
> ...


HUGS, I am so sorry that your H has exposed you to such garbage. Only garbage would invade your life as this woman has. My Hs skank told me the same thing about not caring about me and our family. Nice people don't seduce other women's Hs. If she is married; let her H know what she has been up to. I never really did because I didn't want to stir it, but it caused me more problems I think then if she had been busy with the repercussions of her A. If she is a coworker of H's, it may be necessary to let her boss know about her conduct. This could cause probs for you H too, so be sure it is what you want to do first. My H's AP is very competitive with other women too. She hates her mother and was abandoned by her father. Prescription grade neurosis there. I hope you have a good support system. MC, if you want to try R, but IC is essential for you to get your feet under you right now. My heart go's out to you and your daughter. I am so sorry about kitty too.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

I'm sooo sorry to hear this. And, I seriously support what you did by throwing him out of the house. He has got to understand that the trickle truth BS is even worse than the affair in a sence.

As for the OW.... That skank will get her's on her own. As a matter of fact, it would be cool if you lived close to me. We could setup your OW and my wifes OM. They would be perfect together


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Oh wow. 
I am so sorry to hear this latest turn of events.
Know that your kitty is in kitty heaven. I think you reacted emotionally and it was never your intention to harm her. Do not kick yourself too hard, ok???

GOOD FOR YOU for kicking you d!ckhead husband out. He deserves to be put out with his things thrown all over the lawn. He's a doucebag.

STOP all contact with the OW. Block her email TODAY (but save the ones she sent you, just incase). DO NOT respond to her. THis is what hse wants. She WANTS you to get riled up and respond to her so she can keep gloating. She gets off on your pain. That is why she had no problems coming to your marital home and sleeping with your husband. It takes a very cold person to do such a thing. 

NO MORE CONTACT WITH HER at all, ok??? None, zilch, nada, nothing.

I wouldn't be in contact with your husband either. You are not ready to deal with emotionally yet. 

If you are separating, see a lawyer stat. If not, just give yourself sometime to cool off.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

JB is totally right. Stop emailing the skank, but DO keep every single thing she sends you.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Block her email completely.


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## Lily_B (Jul 28, 2011)

Soooo sorry you are going thru all this.

Do Not be too hard on yourself, you have been thru a lot in a very short time. Best thing would be to speak to someone (counsellor). You need to really be able to talk things through, you have a lot of anger, which is totally normal. Try to breathe, stay calm and remember...think of yourself!

Also, stop all contact with her, she's a nutcase. I agree, keep what has been written, but no more replies.

Take care of yourself!!!


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## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> Oh wow.
> I am so sorry to hear this latest turn of events.
> Know that your kitty is in kitty heaven. I think you reacted emotionally and it was never your intention to harm her. Do not kick yourself too hard, ok???
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:
She's low class and not I repeat NOT worth your emotions or time and that goes for him. To bring another woman into your home and having sex with her, well I'll just stay in my place on that one.
Everthin she says, she sends you keep so when and if the time comes and you have to straight F her up then you will have proof of her intentions and hey officer It was self defense.

Stay away from him as much as you can because he is enjoying this as much she is in my opinon because he would stop the ****. Take time for you and your daughter. You know who and what you are and what ever that troll says is irrelevent.


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## terrified (Jul 26, 2011)

I blocked her this morning. Last night when I got the email on my phone I quickly forwarded it to a different email and deleted it so I wouldn't read it last night. I didn't want to end up all night (again). So I read it this morning. Deleted and blocked her from everything. I forwarded the emails to a friends email account and deleted them from mine so I can't go back and reread them over and over again.

The day after everything I went to see my IC. I told him everything and cried and cried. He gave me an idea of how to deal with my daughter and the kitten. I have to talk to her tonight. I can hardly think about it without breaking down but I have to put it together for her and we can grieve together. He advised me to tell her the kitten got sick and leave it at that. Tell her, grieve with her, bury the kitten and then move on. I don't know how I will ever forget that but I am putting a lot of effort in trying. I will always blame myself, I just have to learn how to live with it.

On Tuesday night I think I must of called my mom and really scared her. She called me H and asked him where he was (he was at the Vet ER with the kitten). She told him to get home to me quickly. I had kicked him out and when he came back I told him to leave. He picked me up and put me in my bed. He said if I wanted him to leave he would but we couldn't leave me that way alone. He was worried and scared and even tho I was begging him to leave he didn't. He sat on the bedroom floor until I fell sleep (somewhere around 5 or 6 am) and then he went to work. That may have been the only thing he has ever done right. Despite him putting me there when all is said and done I should not have been alone.

Last night I took my daughter to my moms for a sleep over. I went home at 6 and got into bed and promised myself not to think, and just to breath. He was there the whole time. Trying to get me to eat and checking on me. I finally took a sleeping pill my doctor gave me and slept until 11am today. I went and sought out a friend that I have known since I was a teenager and trust a lot. I told her everything. She cried with me and I wondered why I hadn't done that yet. She was non-judgemental. Didn't blow up and freak out about him. She just listened to me and let me cry a little. 

I will never contact that horrible wh*re again. I want to erase her from mind. I can't even believe such horrible people live and breath among us.

Thanks to everyone. I know my rambling is not constructive and all over and probably nothing new but if I don't get it out I will lose my mind.

I don't know what to do about him but after taking the advice of my IC I am going to focussing on breath, eating and sleeping for the next few days. Then taking the next step when I am able to handle it.


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## terrified (Jul 26, 2011)

I just got off the phone with the police. 
Just after my last post I got an email from her. It was threatening. Saying she knows where I work, she knows where I live. A bunch of stuff. She made up a fake email so it didn't get blocked. She said 'if I want to start something then she is going to finish it'. 

I went over every word I ever communicated to her. NONE of it was threatening. The closest thing was that 'when I can control my anger and hatred toward you I will want to meet the woman that helped destroy my life'. 

Then I called the police.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

terrified said:


> I just got off the phone with the police.
> Just after my last post I got an email from her. It was threatening. Saying she knows where I work, she knows where I live. A bunch of stuff. She made up a fake email so it didn't get blocked. She said 'if I want to start something then she is going to finish it'.
> 
> I went over every word I ever communicated to her. NONE of it was threatening. The closest thing was that 'when I can control my anger and hatred toward you I will want to meet the woman that helped destroy my life'.
> ...




Bravo! I'll bet the police have a file on her. That's how skank got such a bad name in the first place. Sounds like she has committed several crimes. Terroristic threatning is a felony I believe. Hopefully your husband will have to visit her in jail. Push really hard with the police. You also have grounds for a lawsuit.


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

terrified said:


> I just got off the phone with the police.
> Just after my last post I got an email from her. It was threatening. Saying she knows where I work, she knows where I live. A bunch of stuff. She made up a fake email so it didn't get blocked. She said 'if I want to start something then she is going to finish it'.
> 
> I went over every word I ever communicated to her. NONE of it was threatening. The closest thing was that 'when I can control my anger and hatred toward you I will want to meet the woman that helped destroy my life'.
> ...


Are you okay? If you need someone to talk to I will pm my number to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Alivinghell (Jul 27, 2011)

I am so, so sorry. I am sitting here crying reading this. Crying for me and for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Alivinghell (Jul 27, 2011)

"I will never contact that horrible wh*re again. I want to erase her from mind. I can't even believe such horrible people live and breath among us."

Ditto.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

What did the police say?

She sounds like a hag. I can't believe she emailed you again. Oh wait, yes I can. She's a POS skank wh*rebag. LOL

Do NOT reply to her.


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## Lily_B (Jul 28, 2011)

Unbelievable!! Let us know how things are going, we are all here for you. It is great you are talking to a friend, opening up really does help. I agree with JB, do NOT reply to her, she is obviously very unstable and going to great lengths to fuel you. 

Hang in there!!


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

terrified said:


> I just got off the phone with the police.
> Just after my last post I got an email from her. It was threatening. Saying she knows where I work, she knows where I live. A bunch of stuff. She made up a fake email so it didn't get blocked. She said 'if I want to start something then she is going to finish it'.
> 
> I went over every word I ever communicated to her. NONE of it was threatening. The closest thing was that 'when I can control my anger and hatred toward you I will want to meet the woman that helped destroy my life'.
> ...


Wish we were all there to have girl time - cook for you - help with daughter - drink some wine and watch chick flicks! Take care of you and your girl. Sorry about kitty but it wasn't your fault - accidents happen!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

golfergirl said:


> Wish we were all there to have girl time - cook for you - help with daughter - drink some wine and watch chick flicks!


This sounds like an awesome time! :smthumbup:


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> This sounds like an awesome time! :smthumbup:


If I'm invited, can I bring gin?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

How are you holding up? I'm kinda worried about you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

Jellybeans said:


> This sounds like an awesome time! :smthumbup:


Doesn't it!!. Then we all could go find her, drag her off somewhere, and oh oh sorry I had a moment:lol: But really though. Just take care of you and your daughter. She is ignorant and it shows.


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## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> If I'm invited, can I bring gin?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:rofl::rofl: I'll take Malibu but we are on the same pages for sure.


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## Alivinghell (Jul 27, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> How are you holding up? I'm kinda worried about you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I am worried about you too... check in with us and let us know you and your daughter are ok...


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

Alivinghell said:


> I am worried about you too... check in with us and let us know you and your daughter are ok...


Sat night let's have virtual GNO! Margaritas! or if you need terrified, after 10PM CST, I'm available for email chat or anything you need - whether deep talk or mindless chatter. Tell us what you need and I'm sure others would be there for you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

pidge70 said:


> If I'm invited, can I bring gin?


Absolutely. I will bring a bottle of red.



golfergirl said:


> Sat night let's have virtual GNO! Margaritas!


A TAM party!


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I have wine every night I'm on here.


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## sexuallyfustrated (Mar 24, 2011)

that_girl said:


> I have wine every night I'm on here.


 Do it girl!!!


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

that_girl said:


> I have wine every night I'm on here.


Sat night 10PM CST, I'll start a GNO thread - all welcome to join!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

golfergirl said:


> Sat night 10PM CST, I'll start a GNO thread - all welcome to join!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Started thread on ladies lounge about meeting Sat night here for visit called girls night out
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ticonderoga (Jul 21, 2011)

The OW is a POS and her relationship with blow up with hubby...just a matter of time. Then he be on the reciieving end of what you are getting. Anyway when the fog clears he'll be thinking WTF was I doing :scratchhead: The upside to it all is from what you have written it appears like he truly cares about you. Might be a good foundation there to work on your marriage if you want to.


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## Ticonderoga (Jul 21, 2011)

Oh, think about getting a new kitten for your daughter.....it does help.


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## ItHappenedToMe (Aug 5, 2011)

terrified, have you read enough to know the steps to take? 

Wish GNO was tonight. Having some Honey Jack as I read. 

Scarlet


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

ItHappenedToMe said:


> terrified, have you read enough to know the steps to take?
> 
> Wish GNO was tonight. Having some Honey Jack as I read.
> 
> Scarlet


Just need to get some more for tonight!

Terrified, hope things are calming down.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## pidge70 (Jan 17, 2011)

Please let us know if you are okay.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

How are you today, Terrified?


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## terrified (Jul 26, 2011)

Sorry I disappeared. I think I went into survival mode for the last 2 days. 

The police told me that since she is using anonymous email accounts there isn't much they can do except that I need to keep records of it all. I don't want to read it so if I get anything from her I forward it straight to a friend and delete it from my email. She made note that she knows when/where I work and when H works and when I am home alone. I know she is just trying to scare me but I told my boss and security at the airport (where I work). H also changed all the locks because we didn't have a key for the deadbolt.

I have been in a perpetual state of panic since Tuesday. Not just because of her but because of everything but I think my heart rate is slowly returning to normal. I actually played with my daughter today. Haven't done that in many days. I even cooked a real lunch. She is driving me to try harder every day. 

My H hasn't left. He keeps saying he will leave if I want/need him to but he won't leave me like this. He says he is worried and he cries all the time and tried to make me feel better. Obviously there isn't much he can do to make me feel better but I know he is right. Someone should be with me right now and before all of this he was the only person I had.

I still have to get up and work and be normal everyday and even tho I hate doing it, it is doing me a lot of good. 

I am down for tonight. What time is 10CST? I need to make my mind work to figure out what time zone I am in. lol


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

I know those feelings of panic and anxiety  I hope they leave soon. Just breathe deeply and remind yourself how strong you are.

Sorry that chick is being such a psycho. She'll get hers.


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## terrified (Jul 26, 2011)

Another interesting thing to note.

I woke up Wednesday morning and my hand was all messed up. Bruised and sore as heck. I couldn't figure out why. I asked H about it and he acted all stupid and brushed it off. It didn't occur to me until the day after that.....I think I hit him. I asked him about it cause there was a blur on Tuesday night. I remember freaking out and losing control of my temper but I don't remember that (now....I had drank an entire bottle of wine as well....). He says not to think about it or worry about it.

God, I hope I didn't hit him..... I mean, I do but at the same I really don't....


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

terrified said:


> Sorry I disappeared. I think I went into survival mode for the last 2 days.
> 
> The police told me that since she is using anonymous email accounts there isn't much they can do except that I need to keep records of it all. I don't want to read it so if I get anything from her I forward it straight to a friend and delete it from my email. She made note that she knows when/where I work and when H works and when I am home alone. I know she is just trying to scare me but I told my boss and security at the airport (where I work). H also changed all the locks because we didn't have a key for the deadbolt.
> 
> ...


Thanks for update! I can't answer time zone question. I got beaked from Kobo on the other thread because I'm lost! (all in fun) I'm an hour ahead of L.A. Where I am. I'm CST supposedly. We said on ladies lounge someone will start a thread ladies Saturday virtual night out at 9 10 or 11 lol. Whoever is on fisrt start it and others will join in!
On the rest of it, I'm so sorry. It must be impossible to think, process, plan, exist in survival mode. Just breathe, eat, sleep and care for your daughter as per therapist. I think you're awesome!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## golfergirl (Dec 8, 2010)

terrified said:


> Another interesting thing to note.
> 
> I woke up Wednesday morning and my hand was all messed up. Bruised and sore as heck. I couldn't figure out why. I asked H about it and he acted all stupid and brushed it off. It didn't occur to me until the day after that.....I think I hit him. I asked him about it cause there was a blur on Tuesday night. I remember freaking out and losing control of my temper but I don't remember that (now....I had drank an entire bottle of wine as well....). He says not to think about it or worry about it.
> 
> God, I hope I didn't hit him..... I mean, I do but at the same I really don't....


Ok, maybe diet Pepsi with lime for you tonight...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thegreatsideswipe (Jul 18, 2011)

Here ya go ladies.

CST - e.g Oklahoma city - 10pm

EST - e.g Ottawa - 11pm

MST - e.g Edmonton - 9pm

PST - e.g LA - 8pm


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## 8yearscheating (Oct 14, 2010)

IS your husband showing any remorser has he indicated he will go NC with her. I bet he shut her down and that's why the threats.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

How are you doing today??


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## terrified (Jul 26, 2011)

He hasn't had contact with her since 1 week before I found out something was going on which was June 21/22. I have his phone, have locked him out of every form of communication. He isn't even allowed to talk to his Mom without me in the room on speaker phone.

If I choose to believe the lastest version of the truth then they have not been physical since Sept 2010. Didn't speak from Sept 2010-Jan2011 and since Jan it has been email and text. I feel like the latest version of the truth is the real truth. I am sure there are details here and there but I think I have the major stuff covered. After he finally told me he f*cked her on my living room floor - there isn't much else he feels he needs to hide. Atleast I can only assume.

My H is doing everything I have read that would indicate remorse and begging for forgivness on a daily basis. He has met _almost _all of my demands while I stew in indecision. 

I think she began attacking and threatening me because I emailed her weeks ago. Telling her she is a digusting person. From what I have learned about her in the last week, she is a loony and not to get involved with any kind of revenge because she is capable of true evil. As if I didn't know that already.

I am doing ok. I can see that my daughter is suffering from this though and that kills me. I am a shell of my former self and she has lost out on her summer because of this. I try hard everyday but it is getting more impossible to pretend.


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## it-guy (Jan 6, 2011)

Terrified,

Hang in there as best you can. A lot of us have been through the same lying and trickle truth as you. It flat out sucks, and it destroys your trust. I know all too well because as much as it makes logical sense to believe my wife’s final story, I figure it is impossible for me to do so. 

The good news is that it sounds like your husband is making a very strong effort. You are running his a$$ through the ringer and he seems to be in compliance. You should be glad that this is the case…..at least he is trying. There are guys out there that have been an awful lot worse to their loyal wives. Some of them are just plain cruel and mean IMO.

For all the bad you will probably find some good. Try to spend some time with your husband and find some of that good. I’ve been spending a lot of time with my wife and kids in the last 9 months since my D-Day. Basically, I’ve taken every opportunity that I have been able to. Nothing except work has stopped me so far. It sounds kind of bad, but I have not taken any time for myself at all (except working my tail off in the gym).

I guess my point is…… You are going to think about the affair no matter what you are doing. Doesn’t matter if you are alone, or with your family. There is not really any escape from those feelings right now except for total distraction. You may as well take advantage of the time and try to start building a new relationship with both your husband and daughter. I’ve found an awful lot of good in the last 9 months by doing this. And I’m much better off than I would have been crying in a back room by myself.


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