# Wife Wants A Dog



## Pickles11111 (Dec 12, 2017)

we have been together for 10 years married for 5

had a dog, dog passed away about 4 years ago,

wife has been wanting another dog for the past 6-12 months, i have been saying no,

she makes me feel guilty about not getting another dog,

wife works full time 7am till 4pm or later mon to fri

i am home all day working from home,

i see getting a dog/puppy as a big responsibility for myself because i am going to be the one at home all day having to train the dog, walk the dog, etc etc,

she is just seeing it as a cuddly puppy, without taking into consideration all the work, because she won't have to do any of it,

opinions?


----------



## FeministInPink (Sep 13, 2012)

She's probably thinking that if you're working from home, it's probably not a big deal--in fact, this may be the only thing that really makes it feasible.

What if you were to adopt an adult dog, rather than a puppy? Then, hopefully, at the very least, the dog would already be house-trained, although you might have to still do other training, if it wasn't properly trained by the previous owner. And there is also the possibility of behavior issues, if the previous owner was abusive.

I strongly feel that both people should want the dog. Given that you're the one who doesn't, and you would be doing the majority of the work, I think it would cause a lot of problems for the relationship if you were to get a dog.

Have you clearly expressed your concerns to her? It bothers me that she isn't really listening to you.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

How good are you guys at communicating? Without getting your feelings hurt and all?


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

This is my exact hassle of the last year.

Don't do it. I did and regret it.

Stepdaughter was desperate to have a dog a year ago and my wife pressured me to get one from the shelter. Of course it was a puppy.

The girl was supposed to take care of it. 

So here we are, six months after she left to live with her dad (teen dramatics), guess who does all the dog chores? Me.

The one who didn't want a dog.

Wife and I both work long hours, 90-minute commutes. So the dog is alone a lot.

Back yard is torn up, dog is not well-trained at all.

I work from home twice a week and the dog demands attention--but I'm working.

It sucks for the dog, me, and the yard.

Oh, and it is not potty trained and too excitable to be in the house during the day.

It has been a 70-pound mistake. Yeah, that puppy got big.

My wife actually believes that I have so bonded to the dog. No, but the dog looks to me for everything since she only does minimal interaction with it. Teen girl is long gone!

It's my own fault for caving in.

Be wiser than I am, please.


----------



## Satya (Jun 22, 2012)

You can tell her she can have the dog.
And she can pay for it to have dog walks daily and doggy daycare. You are NOT going to babysit it and it will be HER dog. HER responsibility paid for with HER money. The moment it looks like it's become your responsibility, it's going to the shelter.

Then see how badly she wants a dog. If she truly does, she'll be happy to do or pay anything for its good quality of life.


----------



## Noble1 (Oct 25, 2013)

Its a tough situation sometimes.

For me, my wife (and kids) wanted a dog. I have allergies so we had been not considering it.

My wife (and kids) really really wanted a dog.


.....

We now have a new 8 week old puppy at home.


----------



## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

My ex wanted to get a dog right before he went on deployment. I had a toddler and was expecting my younger son. 

I said no. 

He accused me of being mean, but to your point who was going to take care of it?

That would've been me. 

I got a cat a couple of years ago even though husband wasn't crazy about it. But my kids and I clean the litter box and take care of her. 

Besides, that cat purrs in husband's lap all the time. He loves it.


----------



## uhtred (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm of the opinion that a couple should only have pets if both of them want them. OTOH, I didn't want pets, but we have 2 cats.....


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

I have had 5 rescue dogs, all adults when we adopted them, all great dogs. You don't have to get a puppy, they are hard work, adopt an adult one, and most will be toilet trained as well. 
I wouldn't be without one, they are great for getting exercise, meeting others, stress relief etc. As well as being so forgiving and loving and kind hearted. 

How about you agree on who will do what, such as you take it out in the morning and she takes it out in the evening. They really aren't hard work at all. Just need walks and food and company and a place to sleep. An older dog would be easier, and they are all so grateful for a good home.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

If I ever get rich, I'm going to (1) set up free spay/neuter traveling vans all over the country and (2) establish a pet sanctuary for any animal who can't get adopted.


----------



## JayDee7 (Sep 12, 2017)

She wants a dog then get her a dog. She is your wife and this would make her happy.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Hell yes, get her a dog.

And tell her you will take care of the new dog, doing a fine job. 

In return, she must take equal care of the Frankfurter, the Wiener Dog.

The dog that she never walks, pets, strokes, takes outside to pee.

The Martian is back!


----------



## tropicalbeachiwish (Jun 1, 2016)

SunCMars said:


> Hell yes, get her a dog.
> 
> And tell her you will take care of the new dog, doing a fine job.
> 
> ...


The sassy Martian is back! :grin2:


----------



## WildMustang (Nov 7, 2017)

SunCMars said:


> Hell yes, get her a dog.
> 
> And tell her you will take care of the new dog, doing a fine job.
> 
> ...



OMG...the Martian IS back!

...and was OH so missed!

Where has that Martian Man been???


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

WildMustang said:


> OMG...the Martian IS back!
> 
> ...and was OH so missed!
> 
> Where has that Martian Man been???


Oh, that is a tale yet to be told. 
That SOB escaped out of Hades, from Hell. 
Past three gates, with bars, not a one. 
Through solid walls, it 'seems' he flew.

Knowing the Martian, as I, as we all do.
There was a women's hand in this.
It was his hand that she wanted, and his arms, his head, legs and his torso, too.

I will not get any more graphic on her wants, her needs, her refreshments.
I only know if she got him out, he owes her.
The man, The Martian pays his debts, sometimes in weekly installments.

Just Sayin'

again, Folks!


----------



## WildMustang (Nov 7, 2017)

SunCMars said:


> Oh, that is a tale yet to be told.
> That SOB escaped out of Hades, from Hell.
> Past three gates, with bars, not a one.
> Through solid walls, it 'seems' he flew.
> ...


Um...perhaps daily installments would suit her better, no...she may need occasional hourly installments! Better get with her on that...


----------



## C3156 (Jun 13, 2012)

Satya said:


> You can tell her she can have the dog.
> And she can pay for it to have dog walks daily and doggy daycare. You are NOT going to babysit it and it will be HER dog. HER responsibility paid for with HER money. The moment it looks like it's become your responsibility, it's going to the shelter.
> 
> Then see how badly she wants a dog. If she truly does, she'll be happy to do or pay anything for its good quality of life.


Exactly, if she wants a dog then let her get a dog...if she takes care of it. My wife wanted a dog and I was not so hot on getting a dog, they are a bit of work. But she works from home and has taken care of the training, walks, vet, ect. I really have no complaints. It's a good dog, but could give a crap about me, which I am fine about.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

C3156 said:


> Exactly, if she wants a dog then let her get a dog...if she takes care of it. My wife wanted a dog and I was not so hot on getting a dog, they are a bit of work. But she works from home and has taken care of the training, walks, vet, ect. I really have no complaints. It's a good dog, but *could give a crap about me, which I am fine about.*


*
*


On this subject of crap...

A dog and crap is one that you better not talk about.
Step directly into.

The dog is a smart animal.
If you give it grief.
It will give you crap.

Right next to, sometimes on your bedroom slippers.
My father learned this the hard way.

The hard way with soft poop, oozing between his toes.
All this, for abusing a pooch. Our dog.


----------



## WildMustang (Nov 7, 2017)

When I was about 21 years into my 28 year marriage, I wanted a dog so badly...my husband did not want one...we talked about it for a long time and I finally just went and got a dog. Found the sweetest, most gorgeous, full sized collie that looked exactly like Lassie. Same markings and everything. Adopted him from a family who had 6 young kids and could no longer take care of him when they moved. 

I walked him 3 times a day - at 5 a.m. (we used to watch the sun rise together almost every morning), 12 noon, and 6 p.m. (we also watched the sun set almost every evening). Our walks were an hour long or more and he LOVED them probably as much or more than I did. Many great adventures chasing squirrels and deer and rabbits when I'd let him off his leash in open fields.

I fed him, bathed him, walked him, took him to groomer, took him to vet, arranged for someone to come to our home and take care of him when I was gone for several days at a time, and took him to obedience training classes.

He was my confidante and best friend for so many years. Man, I loved that dog! 

And I am so glad I just went and got him when I did!

On my birthday, I took him to the vet thinking he had arthritis or was simply aging a little when I saw he had trouble getting up and down and didn't want to go on walks as before (which he used to LOVE!). Come to find out, he had a huge tumor growing on his lung (the last place cancer typically matastasis in large dogs before it's the end) and he was in a lot of pain. 

I had to put him down that day. He never got to leave the vet office - it was the last loving thing I could and did do for him - put him out of his pain - while hugging him and petting him and crying my eyes out as he went.

Brought him home and buried him in the back yard. Made a tombstone for him and visited the site often

Every year on my birthday, I now also celebrate his life and the friendship we had. He was the best dog ever!

If your wife is the one to take care of the dog, my vote is that she gets her dog!


----------



## Pickles11111 (Dec 12, 2017)

WildMustang said:


> When I was about 21 years into my 28 year marriage, I wanted a dog so badly...my husband did not want one...we talked about it for a long time and I finally just went and got a dog. Found the sweetest, most gorgeous, full sized collie that looked exactly like Lassie. Same markings and everything. Adopted him from a family who had 6 young kids and could no longer take care of him when they moved.
> 
> I walked him 3 times a day - at 5 a.m. (we used to watch the sun rise together almost every morning), 12 noon, and 6 p.m. (we also watched the sun set almost every evening). Our walks were an hour long or more and he LOVED them probably as much or more than I did. Many great adventures chasing squirrels and deer and rabbits when I'd let him off his leash in open fields.
> 
> ...






that was a great story.....

however, when you make a comment like this.....





> If your wife is the one to take care of the dog, my vote is that she gets her dog!




it's obvious you are missing my point completely!!


.


----------



## WildMustang (Nov 7, 2017)

Pickles11111 said:


> that was a great story.....
> 
> however, when you make a comment like this.....
> 
> ...



Thank you...true story...

Fair enough, I was not clear in my post...make SURE she knows and agrees that this is HER dog, and as such, SHE is the one who will be taking EXCELLENT care of the dog...and if she is not willing, then no dog for her.


----------



## MJJEAN (Jun 26, 2015)

michzz said:


> This is my exact hassle of the last year.
> 
> Don't do it. I did and regret it.
> 
> ...


Totally a thread jack, but you sound miserable. Have you considered taking a training class with a professional trainer, getting a crate, and the miraculous benefits of mental and physical exercise for dogs?

Crates make potty training easier as a dog won't potty in a properly sized crate. So, empty the dog when you leave, crate it, and then empty the dog again immediately upon your return. If you watch the dog so it cannot sneak off to potty, crate it when it can't be supervised, and make a HUGE happy deal each and every time your dog poops and pees outside, you'll have a potty trained dog in short order.

Crates also keep bored dogs from ruining your stuff, give them their own space, and keeps them safe from things like electrical cords and household chemicals.

If you want my guess, your dog isn't too excitable to be in the house during the day. He isn't digging up the yard because he's a jerk. He's just understimulated. Bored dogs with too much energy and time on their hands will inevitably turn to digging or other destruction. A tired dog is a good dog. It's surprising how easy it is to mentally tire out a dog by spending 5 minutes here and there during the day on training. Sit, lay down, give paw, stay, crawl, take-it/leave-it (game where the dog is given an item, then asked to give back the item), fetch, etc. are fairly easy to teach. The teaching and practicing give the dog mental stimulation and tire them out. Combined with a walk or a rousing game of stairs fetch or flirtpole will take the piss and vinegar out of most intelligent and energetic breeds and have them peacefully napping on the couch for hours. 

I did obedience training through the local Humane Society. The 6 week classes were 1.5 hrs one day a week and cost me $130. Best $130 I could possibly have spent.

If you're keeping the dog, might as well make it better for all concerned. If you decide to rehome the dog, all the effort will make it much easier to find a good home.


----------



## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Pickles11111 said:


> that was a great story.....
> 
> however, when you make a comment like this.....
> 
> ...


I? Me? ...would only miss the point if the pickles were bland.
But yours, they all have a sharp point. 
Hence, look before you....
Uh, enough, I end this here, that, this, my point will sound too goy!! :grin2:


----------



## frusdil (Sep 5, 2013)

When I met my husband he had turtles and a few goldfish.

I moved in with my 3 dogs and 4 cats. We now have 4 dogs, 3 cats and 3 rabbits bahahahahaha.

I love our pets so much, and I care for them all. Occasionally if I'm out my husband will have to feed them (it won't kill him to do so) and he brings the bunnies in at night in their crates for me, because the crates are too heavy for me to lift. Other than that, I do the lot - walking, feeding, training, cleaning. 

I would be miserable without my pets...hubby would be fine but he knows I wouldn't, and he loves me so we have pets, lol.


----------



## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

frusdil said:


> When I met my husband he had turtles and a few goldfish.
> 
> I moved in with my 3 dogs and 4 cats. We now have 4 dogs, 3 cats and 3 rabbits bahahahahaha.
> 
> ...



My husband had a wife for 23 years who wouldn't allow pets in the house, especially ones with fur as she was OCD about her house and keeping it spotless. Partly because of this when we met he wasn't one for pets, but I had a rescue dog(my 4th at that time, now on my 5th) which funnily enough had the same name as him. 
Well the dog soon won him over, now we have another and he loves this one as well. I also feed all the many birds, as well as squirrels and hedgehogs every day in our garden and I am shortly to foster 2 rescue hedgehog for the winter as well. 
He says that I have opened up a whole new world of animals to him, and how amazing they are, and we share the care of our dog. He takes her out in the morning and I take her in the afternoon/evening and feed her. 
He knows that I adore animals, its a large part of who I am, and there was no question ever of me not having a dog.


----------



## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Anyone who's on the fence about pets should watch this:


----------

