# My wife is mad.



## fishingworm (Oct 12, 2014)

Almost 10 years married, 3rd time for each of us. I was in contact for a number of months with an old (36 years ago) girlfriend and I went crazy and was going to leave my wife and move to where woman was living. How crazy am I?

I realize now that it was crazy and I want to make amends, question is how?


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## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

fishingworm said:


> Almost 10 years married, 3rd time for each of us. I was in contact for a number of months with an old (36 years ago) girlfriend and I went crazy and was going to leave my wife and move to where woman was living. How crazy am I?


bat sh*t crazy, fer sure


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

So your wife is mad. She should be. 

You, you are crazy. You are also a mean person. To do that to your wife is awful.. one of the meanest things a person can do to someone they supposedly love.

Are you still with your wife?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Hopefully your wife will find someone else and drop you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fishingworm (Oct 12, 2014)

I would like to make it up to her, how?


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## Roselyn (Sep 19, 2010)

When you said that "you went crazy and was going to leave your wife" - what were your actions which define crazy?


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## always_hopefull (Aug 11, 2011)

Was there any infidelity on your part in your first two marriages? Was your wife cheated on in her previous relationships? Did your affair with your exgf of 36 years ago turn physical or was it just emotional? Did your exgf know you were married?

You may also want to contact a mod and have your thread transferred to Coping with Infidelity, that forum is specific to infidelity. Although I should warn you that this is a pro marriage forum and some members are hard on cheaters. You should also read "surviving an affair" by Dr. Harley and "not just friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass. 

By the way, you didn't go crazy, you cheated on your wife and broke your marriage vows. She has every right to be furious with your behaviour. How you handle things from here could either save or destroy your marriage. Whatever you do, DO NOT trickle truth her. 

Best of luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## commonsenseisn't (Aug 13, 2014)

You're not crazy. It was a cold, deliberate, calculated decision to fish for an old flame and you thought you wouldn't get caught, but you did. 

Now you're delusional enough to think you can just "make it up to her" and everything will be ok. You don't just "make it up" and the problem vanishes, you are expecting a one time fix-all, but to solve this problem will take a process. A long arduous process where you will need to change the very fabric of your soul. Are you willing to put in this kind of time and effort? 

Have you indulged yourself in cheating before? If you have the odds are against this zebra changing its stripes. If you are serious about rectifying this issue it can be done, but don't expect any here at TAM to coddle you. Good luck.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

fishingworm said:


> Almost 10 years married, 3rd time for each of us. I was in contact for a number of months with an old (36 years ago) girlfriend and I went crazy and was going to leave my wife and move to where woman was living. How crazy am I?
> 
> I realize now that it was crazy and I want to make amends, question is how?


Grow up?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Third marriages are a HUGE red flag. It means you - neither of you - ever took the time to figure out WHY your marriage(s) didn't work. Which means you'll just screw up the next one. As you are obviously doing now.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

How did your previous two marriages fail? Why do you think that you got caught up in contacting this old gf? What was it about your marriage that made you want to give it up so easily? 

I would find it difficult to stay in relationship with a person who felt that I could be so easily replaced. If your wife were posting, I would advise her to dump you. She will never trust you, she knows she is plan B and she has been hurt in the most horrible way possible. She should start fresh and leave you to the cheating OW who seems more comparable.


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## WalterWhite (Sep 14, 2012)

To the op, buy your wife a years membership to a dating servic, then let her go. Maybe the upcoming 4th marriage is the charm. It's like fine wine, you have to age it...definitely the 5th marriage should be the ticket...keep on trucking!


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## synthetic (Jan 5, 2012)

fishingworm said:


> I would like to make it up to her, how?


Time machines are fictional.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening fishingworm
What is it that made you want to seek out, and then be with this other person.

If those reasons have not gone away, then I don't think there is any way to fix this.


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## Boxing judge (Aug 29, 2014)

Two people getting married together each for the 3rd time?

This marriage was doomed before it started


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