# How do we pay for all of this???



## separatedmomof3 (Oct 6, 2010)

I have always been the bill payer in our marriage of 23 years and it has never been a problem in the past. Our income is 100% from his commissions which in the past have always been more than we needed to live our lifestyle, but this separation is not only killing me emotionally but financially. 

I don't know where he thinks the extra approx. $3,000.00 a month is coming from? He signed a six month lease on an apartment, is renting furniture and we now have 2 electric bills, 2 cable bills, 2 food bills....how am I supposed to pay for all of this. On top of all that we had problems with the pool last month and it was an additional $2,000, this month problems with the pool heater an additional $2,500. I refuse to get into credit card debt over this but how do you avoid not only a failing marriage but financial issues now as well?

I pray every day that he will come back and we can reconcile but if we do we will be in debt and that will make things even worse. I don't know where to turn or what to do?


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## rome2012 (Sep 10, 2010)

I feel for you !!!

I keep thinking too....how is my husband thinking about paying for all this....

He can't sell the house right now....the market is too bad....there are 5 houses on our street for sale right now and some have been sitting for months already....

We'd have to get me some furniture (beds, couch etc.) for an apartment.....and then there is the rent for it....

He'd have to pay child support....

He's already having to make monthly payments to his first ex-wife....

All that trouble for a decision made under depression (and possible PTSD).....

I hope our men come around and realize that it's not worth it to divorce.....

Sometimes I wish I could be like those women that say "You want a divorce ??? Good riddance !!!!!!"......

But unfortunately I love this man beyond belief and don't want to lose him.....


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## Shelly29 (Oct 9, 2010)

wow... i feel like I just jumped on that bandwagon.... I want this to work but I have to also think ahead of him and if he is leaving me and doesn't want to come back (although he is living in the spare bedroom upstairs....) I think, $hit! can I afford this house? we just bought it a yr and a half ago, will it sell? Can I afford all my bills? Its a really scary feeling and I want to try to not think of it but I feel like I have to be prepared if it comes down to that.....


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## separatedmomof3 (Oct 6, 2010)

I am totally with you both on wanting this to work but I have to be smart and think if it doesn't work how am I going to pay for things? 

Right now we own our own business and I work full time for us but draw a very minimal salary so we don't have to pay so much in employment taxes, he draws the salary. I don't even bring in enough to cover child care for my 4 year old. If we were to split he would have to pay me 1/2 the value of our business, not to mention the house, our rental properties cars, motorcycle etc. where is that money going to come from? We always looked at the business as our retirement, it is very easy to evaluate the value of the business but that does not mean that we have that kind of money just laying around.

I have a friend who just divorced and she has one child and gets spousal support and child support, they don't own a business so there was nothing there to divide. She told me that I would get spousal support and child support but that my spousal support would include the value of the business?? I don't think that can be accurate there are limits on spousal support and the value of our business is way over that. 

I don't want to rake my husband through the coals but I also don't want to say well you don't have that money in the bank so me and the kids will do without. We built this business together, I will not just walk away.

I pray every day that this works out and we don't have to go there, I don't want to have to divide everything. Please pray for us, we need all the help we can get!


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## separatedmomof3 (Oct 6, 2010)

My husband asked me to go online today and purchase something for us to do for a friend/client of ours it was $349.00. I asked him where this money was going to come from since we were spending so much more these days on extra rent etc. and he said not to worry about it!!! If I don't worry about it who will


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