# sex tips?



## Shano (Sep 30, 2010)

My hubby and I had a semi decent sex life before the first miscarriage. After that, it was Dr's orders to abstain for some time. And my choice to prolong it a bit for other reasons. Then we had sex once, and I got pregnant again.

Its been on and off our list of what we can and can't do. But when its something we can't, I've still tried to service him orally and with hands. And he's made some not so nice comments about how I'm bad at it. etc. He's even pushed me away a few times just so he can finish himself off and go to bed.

I've tried talking to him about it. How, now that he can touch me, why does he not? Why do I have to beg him to touch me when I'm touching him? We've gone months without anything more than a perk on the lips.

He can say how just about every other woman is attractive and pretty, and I'm not anymore. I don't see much of a change in me physically and the Dr said I need to put on more weight. I'm due in around 6 weeks (give or take how God wants it) and I've gained a total of 9lbs this whole pregnancy. I am trying to pack on the weight, but I've just been suffering the worst morning sickness throughout it so far. My girl is estimated over 4lbs. 

We were in bed last night watching a movie and he started to get frisky. I was surprised he was even doing anything. And I did want him to do something. But no matter what he did, I wasn't getting wet. 

He stopped and said something about him not being able to turn me on. And I told him he does turn me on, I don't know why I'm not wet. 

I said if anything, I know I don't you on it had to have been the porn again. He was shocked. And I was like when in anything you've ever told me about us being together did you say something nice about us? That I've heard all of the great things his exes have done with him and how he enjoyed their sex lives, but what is there in ours that he enjoys? Do we even count the sex or attempted sex once every 2-3-4 months as a sex life?

He went really quiet. Said he was sorry and that I do turn him on. We talked about some of the things he's done/said that I didn't like and he seemed shocked that I was even upset over any of it. 

This morning I woke up to him touching me. He said a lot of sweet things about my body for once. We started to get intimate and had to stop because it hurt. He really didn't say much about it all, but he did stay in bed with me and we cuddled until we had to leave for my OBGN appointment. 

I've been bleeding off and on in this pregnancy and it started again after our attempt. We went to the Drs and he's checked me over again. God those cervix checks hurt like hell.

Everything is okay down there and its as normal. We know where the blood is coming from. And the Dr said it is okay to still have sex.


Why is it so painful?

What can I do to show him I am turned on by him and do want to do things?

Any tips or tricks to giving good blow jobs or hand jobs? He's not really telling me what to do to please him. 

Anything I can do to make it hurt less?


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

I think you got through to him. Sometimes people really do not think of the impact that their words have on others. Keep the gentle feedback up whenever he says something that hurts you. Remember, he is not saying things to purposely hurt you, he just needs your feedback as to how his words make you feel. Do you think you would both benefit by reading some books on relationships? He is making a major blunder talking about his ex he needs to know that and books may help. 

You sound like a lovely wife and you love him enough to want to please him. But make sure it is not going all one way, if he is not meeting your needs then you will most likely run out of energy to please him. He should never push you away or criticize you proformence. 

He is treading on thin ice and he is not aware of it. There are many men on this forum whoes wives stop having sex with them with time. Who knows if they did the things your husband is doing without realizing the consequences. He is lucky you are giving enough to still want to try. His luck will run out eventually if you doing make it clear to him that he should never push you away. You have to set boundaries there are certain things you should never let happen in a relationship because if he gets away with criticism of you when you are trying to please him he will lose respect for you and do other disrespectful things.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sara Ann (Aug 27, 2010)

It sounds like after you talk, your H made a big change in his behavior. Could this continue into more talking and doing? If it's a turn-on for you both, have him show you how he likes to do it himself, then take over. If he likes you talking to him, ask him how he likes it, just follow the connection and take it from there.

There have been some great posts here on blow jobs, which you may find if you use the Search. 

As far as the pain, that could be a medical question.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I think this is an absolutely great book for more ideas to pleasure your man. Amazon.com: Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (9780060834395): Ian Kerner: Books 

Here is a place to buy instructional DVD's on sex, What men want, etc. http://lovingsex.com/category.aspx?categoryID=7 I seen a # of these by renting them, so I did not have to buy, very educational , they explain & show in vivid detail everything you would want to learn, up close & personal. 

It is good you are finally communicating openly, and honestly in these areas. You sound very forgiving and willing to please, he is a blessed man. 

Just invest in some lube & not worry about the wetness, not all women get wet all the time, so long as He feels you are "into" him when you are doing these things, give a little flirting talk as you glide along his body, he will forget all about your wetness & be lost in pleasure.


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