# Dads starting over book.



## puddinhead (12 mo ago)

So I got and read the book. Pretty simple ideas but yes, they take work. 

I wasn't really sure I was going to follow book's advice because my problem is more with my own lack of ability to initiate sex. My SO is most likely average as far as wanting/not wanting sex. I am usually frustrated more with myself than her because we go several weeks/a month or two and I do want sex but don't try. (This is result of a ****ty marriage I didn't know how to handle so I'd shut down. Stop trying, can't be rejected if you don't try. I am 10 years divorced and happier with SO but am still carrying baggage from all the rejection with ex) And I was the guy he describes in the book. Tried to be the best dad and husband and thought when it didn't work I would double down and do all those things better. More chores! Make more money! Don't go out with friends! Stop doing "selfish" things for myself. Guess what? Didn't work. Things just kept getting worse until the divorce papers and lawyers.

Anyway, I read book and started going to gym more and staying longer. I also found wholesome things to do outside the home that I could get away from SO and do things for myself. She has never tried to squash anything I wanted to do for myself but I was starting to get into the same rut of trying to do and be everything for her and our relationship instead of putting me first and being a better person to have a relationship with.

Took about 10 days and she approached me to fool around! And the day prior just like he says in his book she made a comment about my butt or arms or something. (I have been working out but did bump things up a notch) Will things wax and wane? Yes. Have I fixed my inability to initiate sex? No. Do I still need to stay the course? Yes.

I am not bragging. I am not a paid reviewer or anything like that. It seems so simple and basic but it works. Now if there were years of damage and things had slid to the point of where my marriage was would it have worked that quick? Doubt it but if it had taken 6 months and saved my marriage it would have been a tremendous success. (but at this point I would not go back to my marriage, even the better years.)

Just wanted to put this post up because it is all so simple and so far so good and if someone else benefits from book and ideas then great!!!!


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## puddinhead (12 mo ago)

Wanted to add, I used this site way back when, during divorce and got help from several others on here. Just trying give a little back.


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## oldshirt (Apr 1, 2017)

Mybabysgotit said:


> says the DSO book writer guy in disguise.....lol


It's possible ol Pud'nhead here is a shill for DSO's book sales. I'd by lying if I were to say that thought did not go through my head as well. 

But I been following DSOs podcasts for quite awhile and what is being said above is not unrealistic at all. 

I haven't read his book or joined his group, but I have read a number of his articles and have become a somewhat steady listener of his podcasts. 

I kind of liken it to Athol Kay's Married Man Sexlife material but without quite as high a degree of Evo Psyche. 

I think if one follows DSO's and Athol Kay's recommendations to the letter, one will get a response. 

That response may not be what you hoped for, but it will alter the status quo. 

If your wife hasn't laid a finger on you for two years and you follow DSO's guidance to the letter, something is going to happen. 

Those potential something's are -

- she might regain some attraction and at least start to kind of touch you again...... maybe. 

- she may feel threatened that other women will take an interest in you and temp you to abandon her so it may bring her to the negotiation table to at least try to address some of the issues. Maybe even offer up some duty sex after the 2 year hiatus. 

- She may hate the new person you've become and leave. 

-You have bumped up your market value enough that now you can get some other chick that at least wants to jump your bones so you pack up and leave yourself. 

Any of those are possible outcomes. 

There are no guarantees on which outcome will come to fruition. 

But I believe if a guy has become fat and complacent and has become a simp just trying to do more dishes and vacuuming to get on his wife's good side and it's all resulted in a year of Dead Bedroom, The guidance in his material will shake the status quo and break the same ol' same ol'.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

puddinhead said:


> Wanted to add, I used this site way back when, during divorce and got help from several others on here. Just trying give a little back.


Welcome back! If you'd like to have your two accounts combined @EleGirl can sort that for you.


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