# 4th of July and I am alone



## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Here I am alone. With stbxh out of state, I have had time to reflect about pass relationship etc...and it occurred to me that I have hardly any friends and my family had stopped coming over (because they did not care for stbxh).

My world has gotten so small. I didn't understand the huge isolation until the SO is gone. I am appalled that I let my world revolve around stbx. 

I kept trying to fill my life but it seemed those things never really developed and I always ended up just us and no one else really.

It's hard to handle so many truths. Perhaps, this was meant to be because I am little more social than stbx but I fell in with his way of thinking. He said he could live in a cave and never see another human being. That was a warning signal, I never really thought about it. But as time went on, that's what happened I was in the cave with him.

Oh my God, I have so much work to do and I am scared.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

No you're not! You could call up one of those friends or family members and say you've missed them and catch up with their life. Sure you have a lot to do but people are a priority. 
And thanks for the reminder that I need to go to my town parade this morning. Either to be in it or to be a participant. It depends how we divide ourselves up. =)
I also need to hug people and thank them for their hospitality and support this past year as I am leaving town soon. Alone but never alone.


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## Sparkles422 (Jun 3, 2011)

Dear Homemaker: Thanks for the feedback. This is tough. I invited my daughter, granddaughter, her SO and family over to play in pool, some archery and fishing in pond. They had invited me to the beach but it is way too hot for the beach (I like it in the Spring and Fall).

Yes, you right. This was a self pity episode but also an awakening to becoming alive again and a realization what was partially missing in this relationship.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Go to the beach.
Your family will probably have an umbrella and a cooler.
If they don't you can usually rent one and a cooler is easy to get at the convenience store - those styrofoam ones. Ice and cold drinks are cheap by comparison.
Put on some waterproof sunscreen and get in the water and do some serious splashing around. 
You need to live!


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## caughtdreaming (May 30, 2011)

I did the same thing. I was so caught up with stbx that I lost all my friends and now have no one to hang out with. Now I only have family. The ironic part is stbx has friends to hang out with.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

caughtdreaming said:


> I did the same thing. I was so caught up with stbx that I lost all my friends and now have no one to hang out with. Now I only have family. The ironic part is stbx has friends to hang out with.


That was me too. For 25 years I "adapted" and "conformed" and "evolved" to become what I thought I should be. And it was wrong. Wrong in the sense that I willingly let my individuality be sucked right out of me. His friends all became my friends. My friends were left by the roadside. Now, I have been reconnecting with my friends and those that were "his" and became "ours" are actually becoming my friends. Family was not all that he abandoned. Some of his friends he has known since childhood. Looks like all he has, for the moment, is his little guidette.


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

I am headed to my favorite place, a campground near the beach, will be joined by many of the couples we always hung out with and my family, including some nieces. It is hard because H is playing golf with the guys this morning and then he won't be welcome to join us at the camp. I really miss him, but I am moving forward, doing what I need to do to get through the day. I still feel for him though, all alone, even though he is the one who did this. Happy 4th of July to those in the US, enjoy the day to all!


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