# Need Opinions Please



## 344261 (May 19, 2020)

Deleted


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You know, this does sound like a midlife crisis.

What is the rest of your life like? Do you have friends and/or family members who you do things with and who share your 'dreamer' outlook?

What activities are you involved in outside of your home life?

Do you have a job/career?


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

@EleGirl has the very, very right ideas.

I agree that mid-life-crisis fits the description. One of the hallmarks of it is "dreaming" and unrealistic expectations..... another can be a remarkable change in a person's life..... your "enduring" could be transformed to "loving"....



justnotsurebluesky said:


> Me on the other hand, am slightly lazy, would rather work hard in the beginning to create a business to employ jobs for others and have a residual income eventually.


Don't try it, with any expectation that you are going to have a "residual income", even eventually.... the more people you employ, the more responsibility and "weight" you will carry on your own shoulders. However, starting a business with the intent to employ is a very good pursuit.



justnotsurebluesky said:


> how I want to help kids in the foster system.


This is a worthwhile and very honorable pursuit. And, there are ways in which you can do this, or any other beneficial activity, without being a "dreamer".

If this is MLC, you have a choice. One choice is, you can follow your dreams of worthwhile activity, with practical expectations. It is a useful time of life for many people.

A really good read:

*HALFTIME*

Another good read is the Old Testament book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah is a man who God "called" - essentially through emotions of wanting to help. The book tells the story of how God "leads" Nehemiah to the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem, through a practical and obtainable support system of those he knew and served.

Personally, I believe that God is the author of "mid-life-crisis"....that's a theological discussion I won't bore everybody with.... but I see the results it has had in the lives of many people.


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## TJW (Mar 20, 2012)

justnotsurebluesky said:


> Are you like me a dreamer??? or like my husband a realist??


I began adult life as a "dreamer"..... I considered pessimists as my enemies, too. It took a very long time, I am Taurus (don't tell anybody), very hard-headed. 

I was employed well, made good money, much more than the average per capita, when one day, as if out of the blue sky, my "dreamer" side just couldn't wait any longer. I walked downstairs to my manager's office, and my exact words were "....I think I'm quitting..."....

I was 31, very young for "MLC"....however, looking back now, from age 68, that's precisely what it was. And "quitting" was the best decision I didn't make in all of my life. If my "dreamer" didn't demand, I would have "rode the fence" for years to come.


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## Lostinthought61 (Nov 5, 2013)

Bluesky,

i think having ADHD and dyslexia it give strange powers to daze into another world in a matter of seconds....okay so its not a super power and got me in a lot of trouble growing up but somehow it got me through some tough times in my life and allowed me to think of parallel universes in which every decision i made (whether good or bad ) allowed me to think what some other me did with the opposite decision, often picturing how that decision changed my life there, highly- speculative i grant you and not sure healthy but none the less how i cope with my decisions. 

What i am trying to say is that in the end we are the cumulation of everything we did or did not do, but none of that defines who we are going to be, or going to do in the future if we want to change that path. If you decide that you want to travel and see the world, then take the steps to make that happen. Have you and your husband create a bucket list of everything you want to do, and show each other the list, no judging no comments remember this is your life not his not your kids, and start to figure those you will do together and those you will do alone. For example i have wanted to backpack the highlands of scotland for a couple weeks, my wife has no interest in that but one of my girls does so we are planning it while i am healthy. (of course waiting for covid to pass through) but in the mean time i am looking at trials and places to stay......the processing of getting ready can be just as exciting as the journey it self. 

the question is what dreams have you wanted to see come true and what steps do you need to take to make that happen, maybe your husband will join you or maybe he won't, maybe one of your kids will share that experience with you or maybe sometimes you do it alone in order to get to know yourself. How many of us are afraid to be by ourselves? 

maybe my super power is that i am not afraid to be by myself because i happen to think i am interesting...i just don't want to put a label on it. lol


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## Lila (May 30, 2014)

Thread closed.

OP deleted by thread originator.


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