# I left!



## plymouth71 (May 10, 2010)

Just wanted to tell the community that's been so supportive of me while I struggled through my very brief marriage that I left on Tuesday after my husband choked and smothered me two more times. I am currently living with my mother 500 miles away while I get legal help. If you want to read all the gory details they're up on Chronic Love

Thanks again to everyone here who gave me a safe place to vent and lots of different perspectives while I was trying to make it work. In the end I just decided that I value my own safety too much to stay married to someone who thought it was ok to control, subdue and choke me.


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## MRB (Sep 4, 2010)

I'm sorry for all that you've been through but I am glad you had the strength to leave. Stay safe.

edit: I just started reading your blog and I am pouring tears. When you said how you'll miss the feel off his chest on your back... That's exactly what I think about while I struggle to leave my husband. He's a lying pot smoker and I still don't have the strength to go.


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

Plymouth,
STANDING OVATION TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He will/would never change. Beaters will always be beaters. Unless they take a hard look at themselves and get in to deep therapy (which they never do) they will never be any different than the abusive jerks they are right now. You deserve and should expect nothing and I mean nothing less than a man who loves you. Love isn't supposed to hurt. 
(((((Giant hugs to you)))))


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## plymouth71 (May 10, 2010)

MRB said:


> I'm sorry for all that you've been through but I am glad you had the strength to leave. Stay safe.
> 
> edit: I just started reading your blog and I am pouring tears. When you said how you'll miss the feel off his chest on your back... That's exactly what I think about while I struggle to leave my husband. He's a lying pot smoker and I still don't have the strength to go.


It hasn't even been a full week for me yet and I can only scratch the surface of the range of emotions I go through. In one moment I'm heartbroken just thinking of him along in our apartment, the next I'm enraged that he could have killed me, and then angry that he went so far when if he had just been a little less awful, I would have stayed and tried to build our life together. I almost cried for joy when I shaved my legs for the first time in months, put on deodorant and wore perfume and makeup. Then I had a breakdown when I went to the mall and passed by the store where my sister bought her maid of honor dress for our wedding.

It's a roller coaster, that's for sure. But I'm being held up by my mother, my sister, my mom's congregation at her Unitarian Universalist church, and my extended family and all the friends I just got back.

For me, I just had to keep moving. When I left the state we lived in Wednesday afternoon, I was going 90 miles an hour. If you can work up the strength to get out the door, I am sure you can find people to hold you up once you get out there. I had strangers come to my rescue and my church friends to help me the rest of the way. If I knew where you were, I'd be happy to help. I'm sure there are people who would happily help you if you asked. You can do it - if I can, anyone can.


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