# Husband says I don't try hard enough, I do, then his erection disappears!



## Pug2080 (Mar 25, 2016)

Me and my husband of just under 2 years had a big argument over the last 2 nights; it came to discussing seperation. The main topic is his hatred of my parents (we live in their house to save for our own so it's all a bit close at the mo) but something else was that I dont try hard enough to initiate sex I.e pjs and washed hair before bed (I work long hours so that's my relax mode). So we sorted it, said we would keep trying 'for better or worse' - he was working today so I went out, bought new lingerie, did my make up hair etc. We've just got it on and he lost his erection during BJ! That has NEVER happened before to us! What's going on? Is it me? He never lost it when I was in pjs with wet hair, never mind looking (I thought) hot in sexy lingerie! Im trying so hard but I feel so stupid now.


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## 225985 (Dec 29, 2015)

How old is he? And how old is your pug?


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

To much self service for him.


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## TheTruthHurts (Oct 1, 2015)

So let me put this gently... in a marriage, if you don't have scheduled sex, most guys never know when W won't be tired, grumpy, not in her period, blah blah blah whatever it is in life that makes it so you don't have daily sex. So... how do you know "tonight it's on!"? If you don't know, you take care of yourself.

I personally found that frustrating - planning a night only to have W pass out from fatigue, etc.

So communicate ahead of time. Send a sexy text or have a cute code word. For a while we would say "need to do a load of laundry tonight" 

Now we fixed the problem by deciding to do something every night. Unless sick or one of us calls an audible. It's worked great and we love our snuggle time even when we're exhausted.

Hopefully that's all it is...


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## farsidejunky (Mar 19, 2014)

WorkingOnMe said:


> To much self service for him.


This.

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## citygirl4344 (Mar 4, 2016)

TheTruthHurts said:


> So let me put this gently... in a marriage, if you don't have scheduled sex, most guys never know when W won't be tired, grumpy, not in her period, blah blah blah whatever it is in life that makes it so you don't have daily sex. So... how do you know "tonight it's on!"? If you don't know, you take care of yourself.
> 
> I personally found that frustrating - planning a night only to have W pass out from fatigue, etc.
> 
> ...




Agree completely.


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Save money or save your marriage? Move out ASAP.


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## captainstormy (Jun 15, 2012)

TheTruthHurts said:


> So let me put this gently... in a marriage, if you don't have scheduled sex, most guys never know when W won't be tired, grumpy, not in her period, blah blah blah whatever it is in life that makes it so you don't have daily sex. So... how do you know "tonight it's on!"? If you don't know, you take care of yourself.
> 
> I personally found that frustrating - planning a night only to have W pass out from fatigue, etc.
> 
> ...


Could be it. Happens to me sometimes that way.

I'll be in the mood, and try for a couple of days and my wife will turn me down for 3-4 nights in a row.

Eventually I'll take care of it myself and then it seems that's when she decides she wants sex.

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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
agree with both possibilities people have suggested. He could have taken care of himself recently. Also he could have felt pressure. 

Please don't feel stupid. As others suggested, try hinting during the day.


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

you sound great to me putting in effort stepping it up a notch. fantastic! might of caught him by surprise performance anxiety.

your married adults. why not talk about it again. I felt bad the other day after stepping it up and then not being able to make love. are you ok. maybe a dr app. or did you just rub one out? and not have enough left for me? I was in the mood maybe next time I get the right of first refusal ask before rubbing one out. or even if you can't how about some oral for me. you might find that after licking my box you will be good to go.


or something like that.


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