# I don't want it, but separation seems my only option?



## johnson5 (Feb 16, 2011)

Yesterday, I was on my husband facebook account looking for a message that I had sent and discovered an e-mail that he sent to his ex-girlfriend. We've been married for 6 1/2 yrs with 3 kids and him and his ex-girlfriend broke up around 9 years ago.

The e-mail said that he wanted her to answer his calls and text messages and that he was missing her like crazy and wanted to see her. 

When I confronted him he immediately told me that somebody else must have hacked into his account and sent it. Then it changed to that he doesn't remember sending it. I of course don't believe this. Then he tells me that she gave him her cell number 4 or 5 months ago and they have only texted 4 or 5 times since then. 

He begs and pleads that he will do anything to work on this marriage. I don't know if I want to or not. I'm to the point where I haven't eaten and am physically ill with grief over this. 

I told him if he wants to work on this then he needs to be completely honest with me about what's been going on. He still stands by his story though. 

This morning, I look through our cell phone bill records from this past December and find that he's called her cell 7 times since Dec 15, 2010. Who knows how far back it goes because I don't have the bills that far back. 

How can I begin to even think about going through counseling and working it out if he can't even be honest with me about what he's done? I'm at a crossroads and don't know if I want to separate or stick around and work it out. I'm lost...


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## anx (Nov 30, 2010)

I would highly suggest counseling. I just went through 10 month of counseling with my wife and finally feel in the clear and we are happy. It was HARD work.

It might take counseling for him to be completely honest, but it would be great for you to know what he did before you get there. Infidelity isn't that uncommon, and you both are probably unhappy about several things. He probably started looking for emotional connection, when he should have been asking you to join him in counseling.

Best of luck to you.


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