# Not in balance



## Ovid

My wifes EA ended about 4 months ago. It would have been a PA but they were too many miles apart. She denies it, but they spent hours a night talking and much of it was sexual. I even read a quote from him where she asked if he slept well, and he replied he slept great after getting off twice (thanks to her).

During my wifes EA she said she wanted to goto therapy because she was so unhappy. She also accused me of cheating before and during her EA. I have not cheated.

About a week ago a woman at work started being overly friendly. I did not encourage her, and I didn't discourage her. After the beating my ego took from my wifes EA it was hard to turn down the attention. I have no interest in persuing any relationship with this woman. No one at work has any knowledge of my wifes EA.

Two days ago I stayed home from work. I was spending time with my wife before she went to work and my son who I was watching because he was sick. My phone went off several times. It was the woman from work. Everyone at my office has my cell number. The woman texted me that she had trouble sleeping the night before and personal issues as to why she couldn't sleep. It was socially awkward. I deleted the texts.

Later I caught my wife snooping on my phone. There was no reason to snoop I'd let her look anytime without question. She asked me who texted etc. I told her everything, and answered every question she had. 

The next day I got home she had two pages of questions. She said she had questions, but then avoided asking. I insisted she ask. She brought out her questions and I answered them.

Today she says she sad and has started talking about going in for therapy again. She's also acting very upset over the texts still. 

This is driving me nuts, and it's triggering me. She's acting like I'm the one that was ****ing around. It's making me wonder if there's something else going on with her. I'm really beginning to question my sanity in trying for R.


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## Amplexor

She is still trying to rationalize her actions or at least have you give up the moral high ground. It is part of the process of her coming out of the fog.


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## Ovid

I was under the impression she was out of the fog since shortly after the A ended.


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## kindi

She did it to you, she figures why wouldn't you do it to her?

Trust works in both directions, even though she's the one who broke it, now she expects you to deceive her the way she did to you.

The logic isn't all that off the wall if you think about it.

But it puts you in a position of having to defend yourself against not having an affair while trying to forgive her for the one she had.

Awkward


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## Ovid

I know that's her logic. It makes me think she still thinks like a cheater, so maybe ...


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