# Husband and "friend" text messages



## bag4498 (Jun 29, 2008)

hi ladies, i really need some input:

I stumbled upon our old phone bills and noticed my husband and some girl he used to work with have been texting each other. I also see that they have spoken on the phone a few times as well. This is done when he is at work during the night, not when he is at home with me. Of course, he says I'm insecure and jealous and I have nothing to worry about because they are just friends and its not like they text or talk everyday. All the texts have been deleted and not once was this girl even mentioned to me. I felt up to this point in our marriage that we had a strong thing going, but I feel so nieve. I know he can have female friends, but why do I feel like this has been kept on a down low? she is the main number he texts to, what about all his other "friends". It makes me sick to my stomach. Am I being irrational about all this? I really need some advice, b/c right now I can barely look him in the eye. Also, I'm not thinking that this is a physical thing b/c she is out of state now, but having something emotionally involved is just as bad. please help.



desperate for some insight,

bag


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

One post can do the same thing as two and often works better. Because I put my opinion in the "mens" section I will not double post it here.

draconis


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## gold907 (Jul 7, 2008)

Most of the time when a woman has intuitively felt something is not what their husband is saying, you are right and should confront your husband and tell him how it makes you feel and if he really cares about your feelings, he will let it go. If he continues, then something may be going on and his disregard for how you are feeling should be taken seriously. I have been through a similar situation and flat out told my husband not to come home until he could make the right decision by me. 

He spent the night at a friend's house who helped him put it in better perspective. Even though it really was innocent catching up after 20 years of not being in touch and she was going through a divorce and losing her house, the amount of texting was inappropriate to me and I flat out told him to choose whose feelings were more important, mine or hers. He no longer speaks to her and we are much happier having never gone through such a major dispute in our marriage, except for now with the kids. 

I hope things work out and you get to the truth.


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