# Is it really over?



## Alger25 (Apr 30, 2010)

Just a little background about my wife and I:

We met in October of last year via Mocospace (online social networking site) and fell head over heals for each other. I moved 9 hours north to be with her and everything was awesome.

In the last six months we have accomplished ALOT and come along ways. 

She wanted to get married so we did on January 19th of this year.

Everything has been completely fine until this last week when a a guy came into our relationship as a friend of my wifes. They spent most of the week together and my wife started showing signs of an attitude and simply not caring.

She continued to tell me that she wanted to work things out but proceeded to ride around with this guy getting stoned so that she didnt have to deal with real life issues.

She went to jail last night on a domestic violence charge for hitting me for the third time in one week.

Before she hit me yesturday she brought over divorce papers which I was willingly going to sign because she went to get them and said she wanted this.

When I was looking at the papers she started balling her eyes out and got an attitude. I then took the pictures of us off the entertainment center and she got violent.

From what I know, this guy friend is bailing her out and has informed me through a sorce that she is now on suicide watch and is ordered to take counseling. The guy said he would bail her out IF she accepted marriage counseling and he wants to see us work through this. He also made it clear that once she is out he would back off.

We are both young but I would appreciate any input on this matter as I have done all I can do to be patient until she decided to hit me last night.

Apparently she had told the judge that she admits she has been wrong and she does want this to work out.


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## someguy888 (May 15, 2010)

Well, you must have known about some of these issues before you married your wife. You've only been married a few months and she brought you divorce papers? Sounds like you've got some serious issues, my friend. Go get some professional counseling and see if either of you want to be in this relationship.

Get your wife into rehab and, once you determine you both want to move forward, work on figuring out how to have a rewarding marriage.


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## Anooniemouse (May 5, 2010)

I know this probably doesn't feel like it at this time, but having survived a high conflict relationship, her wanting to leave before you have kids is possibly the biggest blessing she could give you. 

I know its a serious burn having moved to a completely different place, away from your social support networks, and everything else that comes with it. I also know its not fun thinking "I made a huge mistake", but step away from the emotions, and take the same behaviors exhibited, apply them to a friends relationship, and ask if you wouldn't be telling him to run like hell?


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

You got married really quickly--infatuation stage, not enough time to really know each other. So the "surprises" of her behavior are not really surprising--you just didn't know she had the potential to go off like this.

She is remorseful now b/c she hit you--abusers always are--that's what makes the victim want to stay. Don't agree to live together until she's done counseling for her abuse--that's what it is, plain and simple. It may escalate, and drug use is NO excuse. Tons of people have been drunk as s*it or whatever and NEVER hit anyone. Absolutely zero tolerance for violence--if she doesn't follow through, you know this is a lost cause and you can move on. Don't make the same mistake again--give "love" time to grow so you know the person in many situations, one year at least. Good luck.


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