# Task Oriented vs Relationship



## usertest954 (Sep 8, 2012)

My wife is a wonderful person, mother, etc. However she is a very task oriented person...so much so that when she's working, life is just a routine. I know this is probably common but I dont know how to deal with it. She goes thru her tasks of the day (work, kids, house chores, etc) and finishes up around 9pm or so. Then she needs to sit and relax, which is understandable. I'm the people person, so I need some of her time to connect. When she is in task mode, I dont get that from her. There is no really connection...physical/emotional/etc....she seems to view it more as an inconvience. Also, at 9pm, she's obviously exhausted so it's more sitting in front of tv and zoning out, than connecting.

We've discussed this before, as we've struggled with this for awhile. She told me that I need to do more chores to make her feel like I appreciate her and that would help her with wanting to connect/sex/talk. So I have done more and she has acknowledged that it has helped. She took the summer off to be with our kids and things seemed to get better. Then, as soon as she has started to work again (she has decided to cut her hours down as she doesnt want to work full time) its going right back to where it was before. 

I dont know how to address this without a fight. I think she resents me for having to work and I dont know what to do. I feel lonely and defeated.....anyone have any thoughts??


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