# Everything's screwed up....and I am so alone



## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

So, yesterday I signed a contract on a new house. My parents are going to help with closing costs. I was nervous but excited. A friend and I went to supper and then my friend came to my house to hang out . We had a couple of drinks, watched a movie, played some Kinect. When my h came home, I took my friend home in my h's truck. We live out of town. I dropped him off in town, and as I was leaving town, I got pulled over. Evidently, my h's truck had no taillights. I had a few drinks, and they arrested me for DUI, plus the other charge. I called a friend to pick me up when it was all over. I knew the officer, so he parked the pickup and allowed my friend to go pick it up rather than let it get impounded. Also, because I knew the officer, he didn't keep my overnight. He said if I could get a friend to come within the time it took to do my paperwork, I could go home. So, that (and the fact that I am already leaving my h) is why I called a friend to pick me up instead of my h. I couldn't face him. And I needed to feel support from someone. I called my h this morning to come get me and told him what happened. I have been in my bedroom, depressed, and crying all day. And I feel so alone.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I won't be able to drive. In my state, you can't even have a work permit. I will lose my license for a year. I have large fines. I will not have the money to get things rolling on this new house. Plus, we/I just bought a new car a month ago. Brand new 2012. I won't even be able to drive it for a year at least, and have $360 month payments. 

We are in a small rural community. There is no public transportation. How am I supposed to get to work, get groceries, do anything if I leave my h now??? But, I don't want to back out now and be stuck here any longer. 

My family doesn't live in my town and I don't have many good friends that are here all the time that I can depend on to help me this next year. 

And, what if I lose my job? I have a very good career that I can't lose. 

I just feel so alone in all this. I've always battled depression and I'm so afraid that this is going to break me down. My h was upset because he didn't know his taillights were out. Funny thing is, he went into town and had a few drinks at a bar and drove home in the same truck. 

Now, he hasn't talked to me since I've been home. I just need someone to tell me it's going to be ok. Someone who can be my strength when I am down. I am so alone. I feel like I can't get my life on track and be where I want to be. And I feel so ashamed that I am going to add more disappointment to what my parents are probably already feeling about me. 

I am hurting so much


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## lamaga (May 8, 2012)

Oh, KU. I only have a second right now -- just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, I'll write more tomorrow, but YES, you will get through this. xox


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

I'm just really struggling. I can't believe I'm going to have to deal with this right now. It's like it never ends.


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

Is there anyway you can appeal and revoke your license due to the fact you require a car for work? In the UK it can happen if you can show a judge that you depend on it for work (which you clearly do). Just an idea, try looking into the law side.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

OMG.   What did you blow? DUI? UGH....


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## Cara (Aug 15, 2010)

Lose your license for a year for ONE dui?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

oh no! talk about feeling kicked when ur down....
i would try to appeal. agree to work only release, or something. depending on the judge, maybe even give an honest sob story of what's going on with you life/separation/moving ect. i really wish you the best and pray the judge is understanding.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Henri said:


> Is there anyway you can appeal and revoke your license due to the fact you require a car for work? In the UK it can happen if you can show a judge that you depend on it for work (which you clearly do). Just an idea, try looking into the law side.


No in Kansas it can't be less. They don't grant hardship cases. But I will see an attorney on Monday
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

I wish you the best of luck Ku.
If you are suffering with worry and concern, my advice is to try to find postive distractions e.g. a walk in the country side, cycling anything positive to help ease the tension until this is over.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

I'm just waiting until Monday when I can call an attorney about this. I don't know what they can do. Unfortunately, I had a DUI in the past and I had a diversion. I'm afraid that I am going to have to spend jail time. I'm ashamed, very embarrassed, and very scared. How can everything go so wrong in such a short amount of time?


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## keko (Mar 21, 2012)

Ride a bike.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

keko said:


> Ride a bike.


Good idea if I didn't live 12 miles in the country. So, if I get this house in town and don't lose my job, I will ride a bike.


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

KU, I've been following your thread since the start. Sorry to hear about your bad luck in this situation.

Really do hope all turns out for the better.

xoxo.


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job, my career entirely. I'm very scared. I screwed up. I understand that. But, I am just not dealing with it well at this point.


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## Henri (Jun 30, 2012)

There will be solutions, Ku. 
It is the unpredicted situation which causes fear. Once you know exactly what your options are, you will start to make effective plans and the fear will change into action and new hopes. You may find the changes are quite dramatic, such as moving home or riding a bike 24 miles a day but you will adapt and you will survive.


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

KURose, I'm not to far from you I bet, and even though I am a K-State fan, if you need anything, just let me know!


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## KNIFE IN THE HEART (Oct 20, 2011)

Well, it went wrong because you made a poor decision. This has nothing to do with luck. If you've had a drink, don't drive. If you have to drive, don't drink. 

Be very clear about this KU, you are in this position now because of your actions. The sad thing is, you have already been through this but you didn't learn from it. Be grateful that you are not learning this lesson because you killed someone while driving drunk. And before you say "I wasn't drunk", you were obviously intoxicated or you would not have been charged.

I have seen the other posts and it seems that others are making excuses for you. This will not help. You screwed up. Now, instead of listening to the excuses and feeling sorry for yourself, what actions are you going to take to fix this mess?


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

KNIFE IN THE HEART said:


> Well, it went wrong because you made a poor decision. This has nothing to do with luck. If you've had a drink, don't drive. If you have to drive, don't drink.
> 
> Be very clear about this KU, you are in this position now because of your actions. The sad thing is, you have already been through this but you didn't learn from it. Be grateful that you are not learning this lesson because you killed someone while driving drunk. And before you say "I wasn't drunk", you were obviously intoxicated or you would not have been charged.
> 
> I have seen the other posts and it seems that others are making excuses for you. This will not help. You screwed up. Now, instead of listening to the excuses and feeling sorry for yourself, what actions are you going to take to fix this mess?


I agree with you exactly. I screwed up. I get that. I am losing my job. I will get through it I know. But, it's not easy right now. I made a poor decision, poor judgement on my part. 

My h and I are doing our best to work through this. Right now it is just too new and I'm trying to deal with my own anxiety about the situation.


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

(( hugs ))


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

Well, I am going to lose my job. The school board will probably dismiss me, so I am making the choice to resign before that so it doesn't go in my school file. My h has been supportive. He blames himself as well. We are trying to make things work between us at this time and looking at what we are going to do. We are probably going to have to move so he can get a job that has benefits and make more money. I'm just feeling a little worthless at this point. Realized I made a bad judgement call. Trying to look at the positives and where this might lead me in life. Maybe I"ll go back to college again??? Maybe there is a new career out there for me????


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## UpnDown (May 4, 2012)

What you need to focus on KU is NOT falling into a self pity blamefest.

If you do, you will no doubt fall back into the same position you once were when you came here.

You made a bad judgement call and have to pay the consequences for it.

Don't you think losing your job is enough of a consequence? Why continue to pay it forward and cause havoc on the future?


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

UpnDown said:


> What you need to focus on KU is NOT falling into a self pity blamefest.
> 
> If you do, you will no doubt fall back into the same position you once were when you came here.
> 
> ...


Yes, I feel like it is enough of a consequence. I'm doing well most days. I'm trying to see the positive sides of this. The fact that it is forcing my h and I to work together. It's just the unknown of what is going to happen and where we are going to end up that is getting me down. We've got some plans, but waiting for the court dates is killing me. 

I think that a new job could be good for my h. He makes less now than he has in the past. Makes less than I did. I also held all the benefits. His job did not offer benefits. I saw a change in him when he took this job. He loves the job, but I think it hurts his confidence to not be the provider. He agrees. So, this change could be very positive for him and for our marriage if it helps him.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Cara said:


> Lose your license for a year for ONE dui?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Some states are very strict on this.

I have a nephew who got 15 years for 3 DUI's in Michigan.

His first DUI was while he was skateboarding in Virgina beach 15 years earlier while on R&R in the military.

The second DUI was ridding a bicycle in Virginia Beach... same thing .. in virginia 15 years earlier.

The third and last one was in Michigan. He was and his wife were returning home from a dinner out. I hardly blew anything over the limit.

But because of the two previous ones he went to prison.


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## lulubelle (Jun 28, 2012)

the fact that your h is being supportive may be the silver lining to this situation. i'm not sure what your problems were in your marriage, but maybe the fact that now he needs to be supportive, get a better job, and be there for you you "man up" so to speak, will be good for your relationship?


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

lulubelle said:


> the fact that your h is being supportive may be the silver lining to this situation. i'm not sure what your problems were in your marriage, but maybe the fact that now he needs to be supportive, get a better job, and be there for you you "man up" so to speak, will be good for your relationship?


That's how I'm trying to see this. Hopefully it helps.


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