# Buying presents



## TurtleRun (Oct 18, 2013)

When you buy a present for your significant other do you ask them what they want or just pay close attention and guess what they want ?

I always ask my husband and he ask me .... while I like getting what I want it would be nice to be surprised  DH birthday is coming up and I am clueless on what to get him... He says he already has everything he wants.


----------



## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

I would pay attention when we were out shopping together, so I had an idea of what she liked. I would even sometimes, take her places where I wanted to purchase something for her, but under the guise of me wanting to, "window shop", because I was interested. 

In reality, I just wanted to know what she liked, so I could make a good choice of what to get her that would make her happy. It didn't always work, but I had much greater success than when I did not do that. 

I asked questions and paid attention to what she looked at and, when she touched an article of clothing, like run her hand on it, I made special mental notes. 

I did this whenever we were out shopping together. I made suggestions, even if they were silly, just to get her reaction, now, not too silly, though. I just wanted to know who she was and what she liked. It was important for me to try to please her the best I could. 

I generally had a pretty good idea of what I was going to get her for special occasions, because of doing that. Then, there are just the times when I felt a nice feeling inside and wanted to share that with her and would out of the blue, buy her something little. I really like the look on her face when I did this. I liked the hugs and kisses, too. 

So, not sure how to vote, but other?


----------



## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

We are not big on presents. We would rather save our money for things around the house (home improvement) or on the kids. If we do spend money on each other it is more likely to be going out to dinner or maybe some other type of activity (more around doing than objects). 

I will admit, I remember (as my wife also says) the events of life more over than the things of life.


----------



## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

We are like Drerio. We don't do presents. We usually plan an event or an activity. I don't remember the last present H gave me, I just don't really need or want anything.


----------



## lancaster (Dec 2, 2013)

We ask each other.


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

drerio said:


> We are not big on presents. We would rather save our money for things around the house (home improvement) or on the kids. If we do spend money on each other it is more likely to be going out to dinner or maybe some other type of activity (more around doing than objects).
> 
> *I will admit, I remember (as my wife also says) the events of life more over than the things of life*.


So true Drerio....so true... this is us also..

Gifts is at the bottom of me & H's love languages.. sure they are nice to get and all.. but personally ...I'd enjoy going shopping with him (spending time) and just buy what we want any time of the year (plus on sale) .... I tend to see Birthday's / Holidays in the sense of ...doing something memorable... 

For the kids, we get presents.. just not for ourselves..

His Last Birthday... was the big one...He turned 50... Time for the







Cake...but I wanted to make it FUN .. inspired days before by hearing Luther Vandross's Dance With My Father ...I decided to surprise him....and throw a DANCE NIGHT ....

So me & the daughter got all dolled up..... I moved the furniture in our dining room, hung some Over the hill signs... .. I wrote on his cake "50 is the new 35, you're still HOT Dad!"... had all the kids write a message on balloons....so when he walked through the door after work.... it was a really sweet surprise..had some MUSHY moments that night, had to change the music & kick it up a notch.... 

I think it was the Best B-day my H ever had..


----------



## Dredd (Apr 16, 2014)

If your married to them, ask. If they're a friend, money. But, since he's your husband, I'm sure you can think of something he'd go crazy about *wink wink* 

Keep in mind that generally, women value sentimental gifts, and men value practical gifts. But bonding experiences are very nice to. Reference the above go crazy comment


----------



## murphy5 (May 1, 2014)

over the years I have realized that she does not value presents very much. I would give her stuff that she seemed to want, creative things, she would feign joy, then put the thing aside never to be touched again. 

So I still give presents, just low dollar value ones, like a paperback book, or a single rose. That way if it is not valued, I don't really mind. 

And especially no jewelry! Never see her wear anything I buy her.


----------



## Wiltshireman (Jan 23, 2013)

I am poor at selecting gifts for my wife. I have tried listening for hints or clues that she drops but I always seemed to get it wrong. I have tried asking our daughter (now teenagers) for advice and they got it right more often than not but still a few underwhelmed reactions so down I just ask her for some options and then select from those.

The biggest hit with my wife was the "Spa day" for the three of them the girls picked for their mum (paid for on my credit card).

Still they all deserved it and I took the boys to watch the touring car racing so they (and I) had a treat to.


----------



## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

I replied "other" as we are a mix of *ask *and *pay close attention.*

We are a "doing" couple rather than the type of people who like stuff just for the sake of it. In the last few years we have given each other gifts such as season passes to the Opera, football, concerts, heath spa weekends, comedy and dinner nights etc

I can buy and/or already have everything I want or need, it means much more to me to go to the Opera and dinner with him than getting jewellery or perfume.

ETA a gift of money would be a real let down to me.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

He asks me what I want. I remember conversational hints to know what he wants. 

Our gifts are usually experiences rather than stuff. We still give stuff to each other but only little things like a new video game or random items like that.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

intheory said:


> I really enjoy funny cards


me too 

Cards are the most important part of gifts,to me. You can't just buy a card for me and shove it into an envelope either. You HAVE to write something in it yourself. If you don't have time to buy a card,I will happily accept a handwritten letter. I save them all in a big box. I read them every year at least once a year. They're VERY VERY important to me.

DH got gifts for me for Christmas this past year but forgot the card and didn't write a letter either. I don't get upset about too many things but that just hurt me so deeply I had a really hard time forgiving him and getting over it. He knows he doesn't even have to buy anything for me bc opening a card and seeing a written note from him is every thing to me.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

I do combination.

Most of the time I just ask, since I just SUCK at coming up with ideas etc.

Sometimes I run into something at the store and buy it as a gift. But I usually follow up and ask her if she is happy/wants anything else.


----------



## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Cards are the most important part of gifts,to me. You can't just buy a card for me and shove it into an envelope either. You HAVE to write something in it yourself. If you don't have time to buy a card,I will happily accept a handwritten letter. I save them all in a big box. I read them every year at least once a year. They're VERY VERY important to me.


This is a must for my wife so I always do it. But I do fail at writing something and simply what I read on the card is the message.

Thanks for the reminder though, I do need to write few things down......


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

DoF said:


> This is a must for my wife so I always do it. But I do fail at writing something and simply what I read on the card is the message.
> 
> Thanks for the reminder though, I do need to write few things down......



Yeah,the messages in the cards are normally fantastic and lovely.But they're the thoughts of someone else. I want to see his handwriting and know what was in his heart at that moment. When I'm an old lady clutching my box of memories I want to be able to see my husband's writings to me and cherish them.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Getting gifts isn't that high on my currency list but it is there. My Aunt sends me care packages all the time, even though I'm a grown woman with kids of my own but I love getting them and it touches my heart that she still cares and wants to nurture me in that way from afar. Also, I would like to get some flowers once in a while. Nothing major but a nice bouquet out of the blue would make me so happy. I never get flowers from him. 

He is very difficult to buy for. I've tried asking but he usually makes a joke about a million dollars lol. So I just try to pay attention for things he mentions he'd like and actually go as far as writing it down in my agenda so I don't forget. Then when it comes to gift-giving time, I get that. Still, he's not one to talk much about what he likes, seriously. I don't know if it's a woman thing but he usually doesn't bring stuff up and just gets it or mentions he's planning on getting X item quickly before getting it so I don't have time to get it for him.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

This year for his birthday, I remembered he'd mentioned something weeks before ....and was really surprised and touched when he opened the gift and it was this item. He wondered where I'd managed to find it! But I don't like to reveal all the details, gotta keep some tricks up my sleeve. We like to give each other experiences so I'd also arranged for him to drive a race car. He was beaming afterwards and saying he may have discovered a new hobby. I've created a monster.

For my birthday, he surprised me with a certain 'aqua blue' jewellery box. I'd randomly mentioned something about this store while we were watching a movie together months before and I'd forgotten all about it. He hadn't. While I've claimed to not really be a jewellery kinda gal... turns out I became lured by its spell. oh, the magic of sparkly things.  It was lovely! 

So yes, we pay attention and surprise one another.


----------



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Random, more day-to-day gifts might be magazines, chocolate bars, tickets to a gig ...little things that we know each other would like.


----------



## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

This isn't fair. I have done all of those in the poll several times.
If it is my partner. Usually he will remark something he likes, loves, wants, thinks about.

Family that is away and don't see very often, I ask.
Then sometimes I just give money.


----------

