# Is a relationship possible without trust???



## loiue (Sep 7, 2011)

Is a relationship possible without trust? 
When both partners are at fault, have been caught lying for example. Or one partner has been unfaithful been honest but continued doing so? But is very honest when they have been unfaithful...

Just a general question.
How would you feel?
what is the opinion?


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## Riverside MFT (Oct 5, 2009)

I think trust is one of the foundational principles of a solid marriage. With trust and honesty, there also must be apologies and forgiveness which help to biuld that trust.


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## Ten_year_hubby (Jun 24, 2010)

Trust is important but not having it is not the end of a relationship. For example, my wife lied to me a couple times yesterday but I'm not going to do anything about it. One problem is that when you tell the first lie, you end up having to tell a couple more to keep up so the number increases. Not that big of a deal to me, probably a bigger problem for her when I don't believe her and she is telling the truth. I'm not able to be convinced


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

It's possible but it's not healthy if you have no trust.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

loiue said:


> Or one partner has been unfaithful been honest *but continued doing so*? But is very honest when they have been unfaithful...


In this case, if you have stated clearly you aren't ok with infidelity/cheating and they continue to do so, even if they tell you about it afterwards and you are still not ok with it--either you decide whether you can tolerate a marriage where your needs/wants/fidelity aren't a priority to your partner, or you can terminate the relationship.

Its disrespectful.


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## is he married (Sep 9, 2011)

Once in my lifetime, I was involved in a relationship without trust. It was so hard even though the relationship continued. My partner was distrustful and possessive. He thinks all my male friends are his competitors. 

Then I found out that he was dating another girl and he told me about, I accepted that fact but it was never the same for me. Whenever he goes out even if he tells me and it is true, there is always that doubt at the back of my mind, "what if he is going to do it again?", I never really reconciled with that. 

For me it is not possible because there is no peace inside you.


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## DaddyDaughterDances (Sep 9, 2011)

I'm gonna say I don't think a GOOD relationship is possible without trust. "Trust" covers a lot of things though...it's much deeper than just saying you want the other person to be honest with you and not lie. My wife had a PA and a few EA's several years ago. In addition to me needing to rebuild trust in her that she would no longer engage in those activities, I needed to rebuild the trust that she was committed to our relationship....had nothing to do with "honesty" per se. At the same time, what I didn't realize at the time was that she didn't trust me to be the man she fell in love with (as I was doing the seemingly usual "male emotional disconnest" thing) which was driving her away. 

From all this we've agreed that to really have the loving relationship we want to have that we need to trust each other to just be here in the capacity we agreed to on our wedding day....to love each other with all our hearts and completely give ourselves to each other emotionally. We have to go forward trusting each other to do our best to love without holding back. 

So to me "trust" is, as Brian said above, a "foundational principle"...a necessary building block, for a GOOD successful marriage. Yeah, you can be married without trust, but methinks it wouldn't be the satisfying relationship you'd have WITH trust.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

*Ishemarried*, did you guys break up? 

I was in a similar relationship dynamic once. He was always accusing and making up crazy things. Turns out he was being unfaithful. I was totally floored. Never suspected. Ya know what they say--a thief keeps the most locks on his door.


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