# Separated/Dating



## cantmove (Feb 20, 2012)

Anybody have advice about being separated and dating my possibly stbxh? He wasn't interested in this option 3 weeks ago but as the reality of moving out and divorce set in he has changed his mind and is willing to do this for a few months so that with space we might can figure this out. We will not be seeing other people. I'm not sure how to do this and still be working on me with a 180. How do I keep from getting my hopes up and staying in limbo? Has anyone done this? What were your rules?


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## MeetVirginia (Feb 17, 2012)

My husband and I are doing this now. I left a month ago, with the agreement that we would go to couples counseling and go on "dates". Me leaving came after 16 years of marriage and about 8 years of unhappiness, for many reasons. We had been to counseling before but it didnt work. I told him in the late summer that i was "done" and wanted to move out. It was a slow process for him to realize that this was the only way I could get some space to work on things. It hasnt been great, getting the apartment, figuring out the kids schedules, etc has been stressful, and I still have some anxiety when we get together, but I dont feel Like I dont want to spend any time with him at all; which is how i felt before. My best advice is to set some rules for the "dates".....like i told him we could not talk about kid schedules, or "how things are going", because he kept asking me if i was feeling any different, and that made me feel very pressured. I can honestly say I dont know how this will turn out, but we are trying, and I do love him, and so I am trying......


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