# cheated the whole time we dated with his ex



## Kangels3287 (Oct 13, 2011)

I have found out that my fiancee has been cheating the whole time we have been dating with his ex gf. He has told me he loves me and has proposed. The ex has written several letters to him telling him how she loves him and how she cant believe that he is marrying me. The letters tell different dates and specifies when they were together. I think she did that so that I would find out about her.She also sent me letter wanting to meet with me to show me texts that he has sent her. I think she is pathetic! My BF told me he was confused and now he has made his choice to be with me. I am scared that he will cheat when we get married, since he cheated so much. It has only been 3 months that he has not seen her. We have been dating for 10mos.

She used to text him daily and tell him how she loves and misses him, he just tells me she's nuts and needs help. I even wrote her several emails telling her to leave us alone because we are happy! She never took no for an answer. Now, I know why. He kept seeing her. I am confused and not sure what to believe. He keeps telling me that I am the one he wants. She even took him to court because he owed her money from a credit card they took out together. I went with him. She won the court case, he is even a cop and the court was in his jurastriction. He had proposed to her, but he says he should've not done that. We are going to Vegas to get married and that is what he had planned with her. I know that because of the constant letters and cards from her. She is not giving up! I have seen the letters because I am living with him and his 3 children. 

Do you think he will cheat with someone else when we get married since he cheated the entire time we dated? Do you think he's really over the ex GF? He keeps telling me he was so confused and her constant chasing pushed him my way, but we have spent everynight together for months and he was finding time to sleep with her. I want to believe & trust him. I am 54yrs old and have been divorced for 20yrs. He is 49 and has been divorced for 3yrs. I ment him a month after he broke up with his ex gf that he was going to marry. He said that he got cold feet and ran, but he kept going back to her. She keeps sending him emails and he doesn't answer her. I am just concerned that he will cheat, he told me he never cheated on his wife of 20yrs. I need some advice.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Do not get married. He is not marriage material. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

Don't marry him. He'll be seeing her after the wedding too.

How old are you guys, if you don't mind me asking?


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Dump him and run away.

I promise you that after your first fight, she will be waiting for him with open arms and he will run right into them.


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## that_girl (Jul 6, 2011)

DanF said:


> Dump him and run away.
> 
> I promise you that after your first fight, she will be waiting for him with open arms and he will run right into them.


First fight? I say the night before the wedding.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Ditch him yesterday. Also wait much longer than you are to get married, for the exact reason that you discover crap like this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

He's cheating on you when he's on his best behavior before the wedding. It will only get worse after the wedding.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Face it, the guy can't commit, and no amount of "I do"s, a ring and a marriage license will make him change.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Kangels3287 said:


> I have found out that my fiancee has been cheating the whole time we have been dating with his ex gf. He has told me he loves me and has proposed. The ex has written several letters to him telling him how she loves him and how she cant believe that he is marrying me. The letters tell different dates and specifies when they were together. I think she did that so that I would find out about her.She also sent me letter wanting to meet with me to show me texts that he has sent her. I think she is pathetic! My BF told me he was confused and now he has made his choice to be with me. I am scared that he will cheat when we get married, since he cheated so much. It has only been 3 months that he has not seen her. We have been dating for 10mos.
> 
> She used to text him daily and tell him how she loves and misses him, he just tells me she's nuts and needs help. I even wrote her several emails telling her to leave us alone because we are happy! She never took no for an answer. Now, I know why. He kept seeing her. I am confused and not sure what to believe. He keeps telling me that I am the one he wants. She even took him to court because he owed her money from a credit card they took out together. I went with him. She won the court case, he is even a cop and the court was in his jurastriction. He had proposed to her, but he says he should've not done that. We are going to Vegas to get married and that is what he had planned with her. I know that because of the constant letters and cards from her. She is not giving up! I have seen the letters because I am living with him and his 3 children.
> 
> Do you think he will cheat with someone else when we get married since he cheated the entire time we dated? Do you think he's really over the ex GF? He keeps telling me he was so confused and her constant chasing pushed him my way, but we have spent everynight together for months and he was finding time to sleep with her. I want to believe & trust him. I am 54yrs old and have been divorced for 20yrs. He is 49 and has been divorced for 3yrs. I ment him a month after he broke up with his ex gf that he was going to marry. He said that he got cold feet and ran, but he kept going back to her. She keeps sending him emails and he doesn't answer her. I am just concerned that he will cheat, he told me he never cheated on his wife of 20yrs. I need some advice.


Get your sh*t together, and get rid of him. You can't seriously be considering marrying this a$$hole. Don't be naive! Be strong, kick his a$$ to the curb NOW.


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## WayTooAverage (Jul 29, 2011)

Consider this painful lesson a gift. He does not have the character to stay faithful to you. He is selfish to the core. No matter how good looking or charming he is, he is selfish to the core. He always will be. Hold on to your dignity and self respect AND GET THE HELL OUT! DO NOT MARRY HIM! YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER!


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

*Do you think he will cheat with someone else when we get married since he cheated the entire time we dated?*

Please read and reread that sentence you wrote and answer it for yourself. 

You've only been with him 10 months and he cheated the whole time. I'm not a rocket scientist but I'm going to go with "YES, he will cheat on you again and probably with her for $100, Alex."

*I ment him a month after he broke up with his ex gf that he was going to marry. *

And this was your first mistake. Getting involved full speed with someone only 30 days after he'd just gotten out of a serious relationship with someone he was engaged to marry.

Save yourself the heartache and cut him off now.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Listen to what these people are telling you... and run. If you marry him... and you will, since few people actually listen to the advice given on here, you are the only one to blame when he cheats again.

Like Steve Harvey said, he is showing you WHO he is. He's screaming at you.. "I'M A CHEATER.. MARRY ME IF YOU DARE!!!"


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

Rob774 said:


> If you marry him... and you will, since few people actually listen to the advice given on here


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

So spot on!

I can see it in a few months:

_"We got married 2 months ago and he's cheating on me with his ex. He cheated on me with her the entire time we dated. I know you guys warned me but I love him. What can I do? I don't want a divorce but I don't like what he's doing either. He says he's sorry but he keeps cheating. How can I get im to stop cheating?"_


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## peterpan (Sep 15, 2011)

For a 49 year old to cheat even once is a turn off. you know better and do better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Maybe he wants to marry you out of convenience: "Maybe if I get married, then that psycho hose-beast will get the message and leave me alone, at least until I "need" her again."

Say, JB, are you a Trebekkie?


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I love Alex. Not the show so much. But I just think he is a nice man who is kind of hot for an old guy. LOL.


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

"Last Activity: Yesterday 09:00 PM"


post and run


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Jellybeans said:


> :rofl::rofl::rofl:
> 
> So spot on!
> 
> ...


Its hard though, i have to admit, for some people to do the extreme... and walk away. One of my first threads i responded to when i first joined, the thread i got warned by the mods because my response was too harsh was a girl who was getting cheated on ... repeatedly by her man. 

After i got on her pretty rough, she finally said, she kicked him out... and never, ever responded to the thread again, or posted on this site again. To me, that translates into, "I'm not prepared to do what these strangers are telling me, instead, I'm going to tell them what they want to hear and then dissapear!" 

I wonder about her sometimes, and even PM'd her an apology. Wherever she is, i betcha she's still being used as a doormat by her husband.


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## Kangels3287 (Oct 13, 2011)

Well, he hasn't seen her for 3 months now, I even called her and told her we were engaged, he told me too. He sat right next to me while I called. She wrote him a long letter with details of all the times they were together and how she can't believe he is doing this to her. He just keeps saying he was confused, now he is in a hurry to run to Vegas and marry. I do love him and want to believe he is done cheating but all the posts think he will still do it. The ex even wrote in her letter that there was another girl he proposed to the sametime he was with her! I am so confused, I think she has no self respect and is pathetic for writing, texting him when she knows we are engaged! I don't think he will go back to her, but I am afraid that there will be someone new. He is goodlooking and a police officer. He is after me to run to Vegas next month to marry! We have only been engaged for a month. Do you all still think he will cheat once we are married??? It took me 20yrs to find someone after my failed marriage. I do believe that he was confused, he has 3 kids and their mother moved out of state. I get along well with them. I have 3 grandchildren.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Kangels3287 said:


> Well, he hasn't seen her for 3 months now, I even called her and told her we were engaged, he told me too. He sat right next to me while I called. She wrote him a long letter with details of all the times they were together and how she can't believe he is doing this to her. He just keeps saying he was confused, now he is in a hurry to run to Vegas and marry. I do love him and want to believe he is done cheating but all the posts think he will still do it. The ex even wrote in her letter that there was another girl he proposed to the sametime he was with her! I am so confused, I think she has no self respect and is pathetic for writing, texting him when she knows we are engaged! I don't think he will go back to her, but I am afraid that there will be someone new. He is goodlooking and a police officer. He is after me to run to Vegas next month to marry! We have only been engaged for a month. Do you all still think he will cheat once we are married??? It took me 20yrs to find someone after my failed marriage. I do believe that he was confused, he has 3 kids and their mother moved out of state. I get along well with them. I have 3 grandchildren.


He's confused.
You're confused.

Sometimes what i do here, is tell the person, especially if they are a lady, to take a step back, look at your own story from the outside in, and ask yourself what would you do if your daughter approached you with the same said info. What would you tell her to do???

You'd tell you daughter to run Forest, RUN!!! I hate to spell doom when you've waited 20 years to find somebody like this, but this is not what you want. He CHEATED!!! You don't seem to be getting this too well.:scratchhead: Like i mentioned before, he's giving you a blueprint of what he's about. Not only did you stay with him after he cheated, you are going to marry him. I know we are all strangesr here and don't probably have the right to suggest people bail on a committment. But your marriage... will not turn out good. You will forever be wondering whenever he is out late what he will be doing. It may take another few years, and you will discover, that once again... he's cheating. Let go about how good he looks. That's just trapping you into holding on longer.


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