# Muscles, Men and Sex.



## ConanHub

Ok guys. I had a question posed to me about exercise and how it impacts sex drive.

So I'm going to talk about my exercise, how it has impacted my drive and generally what it has helped my sex life.

I have always been active but really started blossoming after I started hitting the weights.

I have run, hiked, biked, fought, participated in multiple martial arts and even taken ballet.

All of it is fantastic but nothing quite helps sex drive and appeal for me more than hard muscles built with iron.

Physical power is a natural aphrodisiac. I definitely put out an energy as well as an image when I am lifting regularly.

Mrs. C can sense it and it turns her on. Not just the pumped shoulders and pecks, but the chemistry a powerful and hard worked male body exudes.

My physicality adds a lot to my drive and sexuality. I can physical hold any partner in the air during sex. That might not trip every woman's trigger but I haven't met her.

As far as my own drive goes, I have always been HD but when I am in top shape and bulging the seems of my wardrobe, my performance matches my itch.

There are plenty of guys that have the itch but that is a world away from actual drive and ability.

The more muscular and generally fit I am, the stronger and better my performance is in bed.

Building big, strong muscles absolutely impacts my drive and desire. 

Any type of very hard, regular physical exertion increases nearly every aspect of my sex drive and performance.

I need to push the pain envelope during exertion for maximum benefit.

Women, in general, respond very well to muscles as well.

I think most people can identify physical power and shape and, in the opposite sex, it is obviously arousing.

In my experience, big, developed and fairly proportionate muscles turn most women on and at least gets all of them looking while a large percentage get a little hungry and curious.

All hard work and exercise is beneficial for drive and appeal but, in my experience, nothing increases drive and attraction quite like building well shaped muscles 💪.


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## Faithful Wife

Yes, muscles please. I don’t understand why some men don’t want to think of this or don’t know it already. 

I am not speaking for all women. There are always some women who will chime in and say that bulging muscles are not a turn on to them. 

But if you question them further, usually you’ll find that they mean they are not attracted to roid head Mr. Universe types, but that they are certainly attracted to moderate amounts of manly muscle in all the right places.

For me, I’m not attracted to Mr. Universe either. But I sure as hell wouldn’t kick The Rock out of my bed.


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## Faithful Wife

And PS...don’t skip leg day!


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## I shouldnthave

Honestly? Yes, physically fit and masculine does it for me.

The Rock? No....not my physical type at all. And before you say it, I have tried it before I nocked it! (Of course not the rock, but a bulky guy that worked out a lot).

What gets me drooling.... Fit and trim. I would say the guy who was a 6'3" fit soccor player and rock climber is the one who's physical build got my juices flowing the most. Defined muscles, fit - but not at all bulky.

The iron Man triathlete - yeah his body was really hot too.

I have a thing for guys who are fit, and look fast - tall, long arms, broad shoulders, defined muscles.

Never really been into the weight lifer look (although those guys did of course do some weights, but they were endurance athletes).


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## happiness27

ConanHub said:


> Ok guys. I had a question posed to me about exercise and how it impacts sex drive.
> 
> So I'm going to talk about my exercise, how it has impacted my drive and generally what it has helped my sex life.
> 
> I have always been active but really started blossoming after I started hitting the weights.
> 
> I have run, hiked, biked, fought, participated in multiple martial arts and even taken ballet.
> 
> All of it is fantastic but nothing quite helps sex drive and appeal for me more than hard muscles built with iron.
> 
> Physical power is a natural aphrodisiac. I definitely put out an energy as well as an image when I am lifting regularly.
> 
> Mrs. C can sense it and it turns her on. Not just the pumped shoulders and pecks, but the chemistry a powerful and hard worked male body exudes.
> 
> My physicality adds a lot to my drive and sexuality. I can physical hold any partner in the air during sex. That might not trip every woman's trigger but I haven't met her.
> 
> As far as my own drive goes, I have always been HD but when I am in top shape and bulging the seems of my wardrobe, my performance matches my itch.
> 
> There are plenty of guys that have the itch but that is a world away from actual drive and ability.
> 
> The more muscular and generally fit I am, the stronger and better my performance is in bed.
> 
> Building big, strong muscles absolutely impacts my drive and desire.
> 
> Any type of very hard, regular physical exertion increases nearly every aspect of my sex drive and performance.
> 
> I need to push the pain envelope during exertion for maximum benefit.
> 
> Women, in general, respond very well to muscles as well.
> 
> I think most people can identify physical power and shape and, in the opposite sex, it is obviously arousing.
> 
> In my experience, big, developed and fairly proportionate muscles turn most women on and at least gets all of them looking while a large percentage get a little hungry and curious.
> 
> All hard work and exercise is beneficial for drive and appeal but, in my experience, nothing increases drive and attraction quite like building well shaped muscles &#55357;&#56490;.


You are soooo right. My husband always had a runner's body: slim, lean but with low muscle mass in his upper body. 

Enter: me

I was an amateur body builder when we met, a real gym rat. He loved my muscular A and body but I never could get him committed to do the same. He just wasn't motivated.

Well, it's been a lot of years under the bridge and I finally sort of had enough when his weight dropped and he got super skinny and I was just "NO"

So, I told him: "I'm taking over - LOL"

I put him on a high calorie diet and dragged him to the gym with me instead of letting him work out by himself. He was totally SLACKING in the gym - just lifting what was comfortable on the circuit.

I put him on my super sets work out and told him HE was the one (between the two of us) with the T (because: man) and he dang well better use it to lift more than me! Please don't get me wrong - this was all done with an excited fun mood - but I was determined to keep the promise to him that I was finally going to help him prove to himself that he could have the body he wanted but thought he would never achieve.

Well, SNAP! That was Memorial Day weekend we started - and here it is, what? Two months later? DAMN! You men have got it made with the testosterone in your systems. His build was completely natural. 

He buffed up REALLY nicely, broadening his shoulders, building his arms and filling out his abs and backside. He put on 12 lbs of beautiful muscle weight and he looks completely hot.

Frankly, I was stunned myself. And, yeah, I'll spare the details but a lot of other things improved as well. ::::)))))


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## Faithful Wife

I shouldnthave said:


> Honestly? Yes, physically fit and masculine does it for me.
> 
> The Rock? No....not my physical type at all. And before you say it, I have tried it before I nocked it! (Of course not the rock, but a bulky guy that worked out a lot).
> 
> What gets me drooling.... Fit and trim. I would say the guy who was a 6'3" fit soccor player and rock climber is the one who's physical build got my juices flowing the most. Defined muscles, fit - but not at all bulky.
> 
> The iron Man triathlete - yeah his body was really hot too.
> 
> I have a thing for guys who are fit, and look fast - tall, long arms, broad shoulders, defined muscles.
> 
> Never really been into the weight lifer look (although those guys did of course do some weights, but they were endurance athletes).


Don’t get me wrong! 6’3” rock climber wouldn’t get kicked out either! 

The Rock does it for me because I’m fascinated with a guy who I can climb on like a jungle gym. I love being able to do a bunch of amazing acrobatic skills on a guy who is so big, he only has to stand there with no acro skills of his own, and I can climb up there and make a human art statue out of our bodies. It is a real love of mine to do this, and only that size of guy can really do it with my size of body. 

However, anyone with the necessary strength can learn the skills to do the same poses with me, and I’ve done these poses with almost every guy I’ve been with who was capable (that’s most of them).

Which reminds me, I need to do it with my current guy. He’s a virgin. Yum.


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## Faithful Wife

happiness27 said:


> ConanHub said:
> 
> 
> 
> Ok guys. I had a question posed to me about exercise and how it impacts sex drive.
> 
> So I'm going to talk about my exercise, how it has impacted my drive and generally what it has helped my sex life.
> 
> I have always been active but really started blossoming after I started hitting the weights.
> 
> I have run, hiked, biked, fought, participated in multiple martial arts and even taken ballet.
> 
> All of it is fantastic but nothing quite helps sex drive and appeal for me more than hard muscles built with iron.
> 
> Physical power is a natural aphrodisiac. I definitely put out an energy as well as an image when I am lifting regularly.
> 
> Mrs. C can sense it and it turns her on. Not just the pumped shoulders and pecks, but the chemistry a powerful and hard worked male body exudes.
> 
> My physicality adds a lot to my drive and sexuality. I can physical hold any partner in the air during sex. That might not trip every woman's trigger but I haven't met her.
> 
> As far as my own drive goes, I have always been HD but when I am in top shape and bulging the seems of my wardrobe, my performance matches my itch.
> 
> There are plenty of guys that have the itch but that is a world away from actual drive and ability.
> 
> The more muscular and generally fit I am, the stronger and better my performance is in bed.
> 
> Building big, strong muscles absolutely impacts my drive and desire.
> 
> Any type of very hard, regular physical exertion increases nearly every aspect of my sex drive and performance.
> 
> I need to push the pain envelope during exertion for maximum benefit.
> 
> Women, in general, respond very well to muscles as well.
> 
> I think most people can identify physical power and shape and, in the opposite sex, it is obviously arousing.
> 
> In my experience, big, developed and fairly proportionate muscles turn most women on and at least gets all of them looking while a large percentage get a little hungry and curious.
> 
> All hard work and exercise is beneficial for drive and appeal but, in my experience, nothing increases drive and attraction quite like building well shaped muscles ��.
> 
> 
> 
> You are soooo right. My husband always had a runner's body: slim, lean but with low muscle mass in his upper body.
> 
> Enter: me
> 
> I was an amateur body builder when we met, a real gym rat. He loved my muscular A and body but I never could get him committed to do the same. He just wasn't motivated.
> 
> Well, it's been a lot of years under the bridge and I finally sort of had enough when his weight dropped and he got super skinny and I was just "NO"
> 
> So, I told him: "I'm taking over - LOL"
> 
> I put him on a high calorie diet and dragged him to the gym with me instead of letting him work out by himself. He was totally SLACKING in the gym - just lifting what was comfortable on the circuit.
> 
> I put him on my super sets work out and told him HE was the one (between the two of us) with the T (because: man) and he dang well better use it to lift more than me! Please don't get me wrong - this was all done with an excited fun mood - but I was determined to keep the promise to him that I was finally going to help him prove to himself that he could have the body he wanted but thought he would never achieve.
> 
> Well, SNAP! That was Memorial Day weekend we started - and here it is, what? Two months later? DAMN! You men have got it made with the testosterone in your systems. His build was completely natural.
> 
> He buffed up REALLY nicely, broadening his shoulders, building his arms and filling out his abs and backside. He put on 12 lbs of beautiful muscle weight and he looks completely hot.
> 
> Frankly, I was stunned myself. And, yeah, I'll spare the details but a lot of other things improved as well. ::::<a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Smile" ></a>)))))
Click to expand...

Love your story!

I think most men are hiding awesome muscles under there! Bring them out! Bring them out! Hear us roar! 

Most women can pop some muscles out pretty fast too (depending on many factors). But our allure to men doesn’t depend on us having prominent muscles. Our hourglass shape can be achieved with no real muscles to speak of. 

Men’s allure to women is dependent upon development of muscles. The upside down triangle shape that we are instinctively attracted to is not achieved by fat, only by muscle mass. 

And fat is detrimental to the ideal triangle shape, whereas fat is sometimes a huge asset (heh) to the hourglass shape.


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## SentHereForAReason

I'm by default high drive, high stamina and I am part of the population that can thrive with little sleep so I don't get tired. Throw in weight lifting and supplements (high protein, creatine, etc) and high drive turned into super drive but because of that it just created even more disappointment when my sex life with EW was once every 2 months on average. My drive was bursting at the seams with no release.

Made it that much harder that I had all of that to give and just came to understand my EW just didn't care about sex anymore because that's what she said ... Then her soulmate sure changed that in a hurry. I still have super drive and nowhere to go but it's less painful than having a wife that you want to use it on and you get a head shake of no. That is more frustrating than having no one at all.

When I start dating and hopefully that person is high drive, there are going to be some worn out bed supports lol. Be ideal if I could pair up with someone just as active in the gym. I would rather do alternative cardio anyday!


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## happy as a clam

Love, Luv, LUV Super-duper muscles!! The bigger the better... 

(Great thread, Conan!)


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## BioFury

ConanHub said:


> Ok guys. I had a question posed to me about exercise and how it impacts sex drive.
> 
> So I'm going to talk about my exercise, how it has impacted my drive and generally what it has helped my sex life.
> 
> I have always been active but really started blossoming after I started hitting the weights.
> 
> I have run, hiked, biked, fought, participated in multiple martial arts and even taken ballet.
> 
> All of it is fantastic but nothing quite helps sex drive and appeal for me more than hard muscles built with iron.
> 
> Physical power is a natural aphrodisiac. I definitely put out an energy as well as an image when I am lifting regularly.
> 
> Mrs. C can sense it and it turns her on. Not just the pumped shoulders and pecks, but the chemistry a powerful and hard worked male body exudes.
> 
> My physicality adds a lot to my drive and sexuality. I can physical hold any partner in the air during sex. That might not trip every woman's trigger but I haven't met her.
> 
> As far as my own drive goes, I have always been HD but when I am in top shape and bulging the seems of my wardrobe, my performance matches my itch.
> 
> There are plenty of guys that have the itch but that is a world away from actual drive and ability.
> 
> The more muscular and generally fit I am, the stronger and better my performance is in bed.
> 
> Building big, strong muscles absolutely impacts my drive and desire.
> 
> Any type of very hard, regular physical exertion increases nearly every aspect of my sex drive and performance.
> 
> I need to push the pain envelope during exertion for maximum benefit.
> 
> Women, in general, respond very well to muscles as well.
> 
> I think most people can identify physical power and shape and, in the opposite sex, it is obviously arousing.
> 
> In my experience, big, developed and fairly proportionate muscles turn most women on and at least gets all of them looking while a large percentage get a little hungry and curious.
> 
> All hard work and exercise is beneficial for drive and appeal but, in my experience, nothing increases drive and attraction quite like building well shaped muscles 💪.


If I'm hearing you right, your active lifestyle helps you perform better in bed (longer, more extreme romps), but doesn't physically increase your raw desire for sex?


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## ConanHub

Faithful Wife said:


> And PS...don’t skip leg day!


Huge mistake not to work your legs as well!

Having a huge torso and tiny legs will get you looks but it might not be desire in her eyes.

Mrs. Conan has lost her composure over my thighs and hind quarters probably more times than my torso, though she loves that too.


----------



## ConanHub

BioFury said:


> If I'm hearing you right, your active lifestyle helps you perform better in bed (longer, more extreme romps), but doesn't physically increase your raw desire for sex?


It does actually enhance my drive by increasing it but I also have a healthier drive, more steady, more controlled if you can believe it, as well as better performance.


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## BioFury

ConanHub said:


> It does actually enhance my drive by increasing it but I also have a healthier drive, more steady, more controlled if you can believe it, as well as better performance.


Right on. How much time do you spend in the gym each week to get these results?


----------



## happiness27

Faithful Wife said:


> happiness27 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ConanHub said:
> 
> 
> 
> Ok guys. I had a question posed to me about exercise and how it impacts sex drive.
> 
> So I'm going to talk about my exercise, how it has impacted my drive and generally what it has helped my sex life.
> 
> I have always been active but really started blossoming after I started hitting the weights.
> 
> I have run, hiked, biked, fought, participated in multiple martial arts and even taken ballet.
> 
> All of it is fantastic but nothing quite helps sex drive and appeal for me more than hard muscles built with iron.
> 
> Physical power is a natural aphrodisiac. I definitely put out an energy as well as an image when I am lifting regularly.
> 
> Mrs. C can sense it and it turns her on. Not just the pumped shoulders and pecks, but the chemistry a powerful and hard worked male body exudes.
> 
> My physicality adds a lot to my drive and sexuality. I can physical hold any partner in the air during sex. That might not trip every woman's trigger but I haven't met her.
> 
> As far as my own drive goes, I have always been HD but when I am in top shape and bulging the seems of my wardrobe, my performance matches my itch.
> 
> There are plenty of guys that have the itch but that is a world away from actual drive and ability.
> 
> The more muscular and generally fit I am, the stronger and better my performance is in bed.
> 
> Building big, strong muscles absolutely impacts my drive and desire.
> 
> Any type of very hard, regular physical exertion increases nearly every aspect of my sex drive and performance.
> 
> I need to push the pain envelope during exertion for maximum benefit.
> 
> Women, in general, respond very well to muscles as well.
> 
> I think most people can identify physical power and shape and, in the opposite sex, it is obviously arousing.
> 
> In my experience, big, developed and fairly proportionate muscles turn most women on and at least gets all of them looking while a large percentage get a little hungry and curious.
> 
> All hard work and exercise is beneficial for drive and appeal but, in my experience, nothing increases drive and attraction quite like building well shaped muscles ��.
> 
> 
> 
> You are soooo right. My husband always had a runner's body: slim, lean but with low muscle mass in his upper body.
> 
> Enter: me
> 
> I was an amateur body builder when we met, a real gym rat. He loved my muscular A and body but I never could get him committed to do the same. He just wasn't motivated.
> 
> Well, it's been a lot of years under the bridge and I finally sort of had enough when his weight dropped and he got super skinny and I was just "NO"
> 
> So, I told him: "I'm taking over - LOL"
> 
> I put him on a high calorie diet and dragged him to the gym with me instead of letting him work out by himself. He was totally SLACKING in the gym - just lifting what was comfortable on the circuit.
> 
> I put him on my super sets work out and told him HE was the one (between the two of us) with the T (because: man) and he dang well better use it to lift more than me! Please don't get me wrong - this was all done with an excited fun mood - but I was determined to keep the promise to him that I was finally going to help him prove to himself that he could have the body he wanted but thought he would never achieve.
> 
> Well, SNAP! That was Memorial Day weekend we started - and here it is, what? Two months later? DAMN! You men have got it made with the testosterone in your systems. His build was completely natural.
> 
> He buffed up REALLY nicely, broadening his shoulders, building his arms and filling out his abs and backside. He put on 12 lbs of beautiful muscle weight and he looks completely hot.
> 
> Frankly, I was stunned myself. And, yeah, I'll spare the details but a lot of other things improved as well. ::::)))))
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Love your story!
> 
> I think most men are hiding awesome muscles under there! Bring them out! Bring them out! Hear us roar!
> 
> Most women can pop some muscles out pretty fast too (depending on many factors). But our allure to men doesn’t depend on us having prominent muscles. Our hourglass shape can be achieved with no real muscles to speak of.
> 
> Men’s allure to women is dependent upon development of muscles. The upside down triangle shape that we are instinctively attracted to is not achieved by fat, only by muscle mass.
> 
> And fat is detrimental to the ideal triangle shape, whereas fat is sometimes a huge asset (heh) to the hourglass shape.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've never lacked ASSets - fortunately or unfortunately, as is a persons tastes - buffing up as a woman takes longer and is less pronounced. Its mostly seen in a nice back and shapeliness with erect posture and somewhat firm buns. Women, I've found, just benefit with firmness but not the bulk of men. Its all good.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Sooooo......

As for me, I've not noticed any difference in my other performance. I'm pretty HD whether I'm hitting the weights or not.

As for her, she likes my bulges when I'm bulging. She tells me she really likes it when I'm a "manly man." Sometimes, she even gropes my muscles and oohs and aahs.

But that never really translated to any additional action in the bedroom. Alas, these days I lift just for me.


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## happiness27

ConanHub said:


> BioFury said:
> 
> 
> 
> If I'm hearing you right, your active lifestyle helps you perform better in bed (longer, more extreme romps), but doesn't physically increase your raw desire for sex?
> 
> 
> 
> It does actually enhance my drive by increasing it but I also have a healthier drive, more steady, more controlled if you can believe it, as well as better performance.
Click to expand...

Ill have to ask my husband if he's noticed any difference on performance. We did have sex 3X today before he left for his evening shift. I'm leaving the light on for him... )


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

ConanHub said:


> Huge mistake not to work your legs as well!
> 
> Having a huge torso and tiny legs will get you looks but it might not be desire in her eyes.
> 
> Mrs. Conan has lost her composure over my thighs and hind quarters probably more times than my torso, though she loves that too.


I don't do leg day, but I'm a natural physical freak in the leg department. I have natural bulk in my legs and just the mountain biking alone gives me great tone.

When I did actively work legs, they would explode, to the point I looked like a 6 foot tall speed skater, which would have been okay except my legs literally wouldn't fit in a pair of dress pants. I actually ripped a couple pair, Incredible Hulk style.

I'm really actually quite thankful as I can use what would normally be leg time to ride or add emphasis to back, shoulders, arms & pecs.


----------



## ConanHub

BioFury said:


> Right on. How much time do you spend in the gym each week to get these results?


I'm only going about 3x a week currently but I have been lifting for 34 years.

Once you have developed your body and accustomed it to developing, you can maintain or even gain with less effort than a rookie.

I currently weigh 190 lbs., stand 5'10". My body fat could stand to go down a bit but I am far more muscle than anything else. 

Beginners need to work up to it and start slow or with a trainer to avoid injury.

Any man that doesn't have serious health restrictions, can start developing muscle rather quickly especially with a good diet.

If I worked out 5x a week, I could compete. 

I also avoid a lot of health issues that could impact sex drive like hypertension or diabetes.

I'm on no prescriptions and I can have quality sex 3-5 times a day at age 47.


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## happiness27

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> ConanHub said:
> 
> 
> 
> Huge mistake not to work your legs as well!
> 
> Having a huge torso and tiny legs will get you looks but it might not be desire in her eyes.
> 
> Mrs. Conan has lost her composure over my thighs and hind quarters probably more times than my torso, though she loves that too.
> 
> 
> 
> I don't do leg day, but I'm a natural physical freak in the leg department. I have natural bulk in my legs and just the mountain biking alone gives me great tone.
> 
> When I did actively work legs, they would explode, to the point I looked like a 6 foot tall speed skater, which would have been okay except my legs literally wouldn't fit in a pair of dress pants. I actually ripped a couple pair, Incredible Hulk style.
> 
> I'm really actually quite thankful as I can use what would normally be leg time to ride or add emphasis to back, shoulders, arms & pecs.
Click to expand...

Same here on the legs with my husband. He has great legs and plenty of push so, although we do some legs, if there was more legsl, I don't think I could take *more* 🙂


----------



## Faithful Wife

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> ConanHub said:
> 
> 
> 
> Huge mistake not to work your legs as well!
> 
> Having a huge torso and tiny legs will get you looks but it might not be desire in her eyes.
> 
> Mrs. Conan has lost her composure over my thighs and hind quarters probably more times than my torso, though she loves that too.
> 
> 
> 
> I don't do leg day, but I'm a natural physical freak in the leg department. I have natural bulk in my legs and just the mountain biking alone gives me great tone.
> 
> When I did actively work legs, they would explode, to the point I looked like a 6 foot tall speed skater, which would have been okay except my legs literally wouldn't fit in a pair of dress pants. I actually ripped a couple pair, Incredible Hulk style.
> 
> I'm really actually quite thankful as I can use what would normally be leg time to ride or add emphasis to back, shoulders, arms & pecs.
Click to expand...

Natural speed skater thighs....nom nom!!


----------



## ConanHub

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> I don't do leg day, but I'm a natural physical freak in the leg department. I have natural bulk in my legs and just the mountain biking alone gives me great tone.
> 
> When I did actively work legs, they would explode, to the point I looked like a 6 foot tall speed skater, which would have been okay except my legs literally wouldn't fit in a pair of dress pants. I actually ripped a couple pair, Incredible Hulk style.
> 
> I'm really actually quite thankful as I can use what would normally be leg time to ride or add emphasis to back, shoulders, arms & pecs.


I use to bike all the time so I definitely know about thigh development and I was able to keep a good foundation. I actually don't have to work my legs that much anymore but I can't neglect them.


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## Ikaika

When ones asks - should I do metabolic conditioning exercise or resistance exercises (i.e., weightlifting)? The answer is yes. 

Musculature is certainly more attractive than is the sedentary look. It also can provide more confidence. The physiological benefits of which provide better blood flow and (especially) helps to stabilize the musculoskeletal system (very important as one ages)

Metabolic conditioning helps with the overall cardiovascular and respiratory health. These benefits can never be overlooked as one gets older. And a poor cardiovascular fitness is one cause of ED. 

With all that said, I have seen guys in the gym work their ass off only to find out in talking to them, their diet is crap. It is true, you cannot out exercise a bad diet. It will catch up to “you” and all that attractive muscle mass will be for not. 

So, yes a healthy lifestyle (that includes weight training) will more often than pay dividends to healthy sex life. It has for me:

I’m going to be 58 this late fall and still enjoy a healthy active sex life with my wife of 24 years without the aid of pharmaceuticals. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


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## happiness27

If men and women only knew how much more exciting life can be when physically fit for as little as 3-4 well-designed workouts a week, the sex complaint department would probably go out of business.


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## ConanHub

This as well guys. It does good things for your libido to see smiles that reach their eyes when they look at you.

It can't be emphasized enough how positive signals from the opposite sex revs your engine and that of your SO as well.

I don't think it wrong to get a little revved up from the female population and ravage Mrs. C with the built up energy.

She has even gotten fired up from the affirmative attention. I don't necessarily get that aspect but I don't mind reaping the rewards.

She gets attention as well which doesn't rev me up but works good for her.


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## PreRaph

Well, glad you all love men with bulging muscles with the qualifiers that you put on that.

As for me, I care about being physically fit for what I do. I love to run, ride long distances on my motorcycle all over creation, and camp in a tent and hike everywhere from the Grand Canyon to the Assateague seashore in Maryland, play the occasional basketball game, swim, and a few other things. I'm not going to hit the gym 3 times a week just so maybe some women will drool over me (they won't). I'm going to run, do a few strength exercises, and do yoga to bring some balance into my body and soul. And if a woman prefers the buff man over me, I'm ok with that. The narcissism of flexing my muscles in the mirror and showing them off to the lady across from me leaves a bad taste in my mouth after the first minute. 

I have seen countless very experienced and knowledgeable physical trainers warn about the dangers of going to the gym and doing a slew of weight exercises that end up hurting your lower back, your rotator cuff, and other rather important parts of your body. I'm not going to risk those nagging injuries just to make myself look prettier. I'm fit and I'm ok with that. If I had a bulging belly then yes, I wouldn't like it. Let the girls go after the muscular guys if they want. There will always be some nice ladies who will enjoy a man with a different physique...and other things too.


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## happiness27

PreRaph said:


> Well, glad you all love men with bulging muscles with the qualifiers that you put on that.
> 
> As for me, I care about being physically fit for what I do. I love to run, ride long distances on my motorcycle all over creation, and camp in a tent and hike everywhere from the Grand Canyon to the Assateague seashore in Maryland, play the occasional basketball game, swim, and a few other things. I'm not going to hit the gym 3 times a week just so maybe some women will drool over me (they won't). I'm going to run, do a few strength exercises, and do yoga to bring some balance into my body and soul. And if a woman prefers the buff man over me, I'm ok with that. The narcissism of flexing my muscles in the mirror and showing them off to the lady across from me leaves a bad taste in my mouth after the first minute.
> 
> I have seen countless very experienced and knowledgeable physical trainers warn about the dangers of going to the gym and doing a slew of weight exercises that end up hurting your lower back, your rotator cuff, and other rather important parts of your body. I'm not going to risk those nagging injuries just to make myself look prettier. I'm fit and I'm ok with that. If I had a bulging belly then yes, I wouldn't like it. Let the girls go after the muscular guys if they want. There will always be some nice ladies who will enjoy a man with a different physique...and other things too.


That isn't really what happens with building muscularity. My husband has more of a runner's body - which is very skinny all over, especially his shoulders, chest and arms. He has a very physical job which requires him to lift boxes for four, five, six hour shifts and he just wasn't cutting it at work. He was sore and wasn't sleeping well because of it. Since we are nearly the same height and his weight had dropped below mine, there were sexual things we couldn't do that we would like to do. Bulking him up was a functional move not a narcissistic move - but I totally get your point about that. When choosing to be physically fit, function should be the greatest consideration.


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## farsidejunky

I scrapped lifting in 2014 for MMA/kickboxing/BJJ. This still involves some cross fit style work with kettle bells, dumbbells, and med balls. There is something rewarding about learning how to defend yourself while working your ass off that appeals to me. 

I was terrible at putting on muscle without getting fat when I lifted regularly. 5x5 gave me the most success in gains, but damn did my waistline miss the high intensity work.

My current workout regimen has me staying between 160 and 165, and I cut below 160 for competition. 

Do I look fit? Yes. I am lean, and I have tone and shape in my shoulders, arms, and legs. No six pack, but I have never had one...to include graduation from basic training in 1993. 

Do I look big? Not by a long shot, although I would still have thick calves and quads without ever working legs thanks to genetics.

As an example, tonight's workout was 2 hours 46 minutes, and included me teaching a kickboxing/workout class (participated as well), learning basic BJJ moves, and sparring. I burned 1850 calories. 

Now, as far as drive is concerned, there is no replacement for lifting. It was through the roof when I was doing 5x5 just four short years ago. 

My drive now? It is significantly diminished from that level.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


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## Andy1001

I lift the weights but I swim so much that I don’t have a heavy muscular shaped physique.
I also practice martial arts at least six days a week.
I have the six pack though.And I can go for hours at a time in the sex department.
And every woman I have ever been with loves to rub my abs lol.


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## Diana7

I think its great to be fit, my 61 year old husband is fit, but sorry the muscles don't do it for me.

We are all very different in what attracts us, but for me the thought of being with a man who feels he must spend many hours at the gym, and wants female 'adoration' and attention is very unappealing and would put me off totally. 

My husband cycles, walks the dog, goes on the rowing machine and sometimes will go for a run. He is healthy which is what matters but he has no interest in having massive muscles thank goodness. Its not muscles that make a man sexy to me, but the man he is and he IS sexy to me.


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## Luminous

Personally, I like to look at it as being practical. Push ups, sit ups, dips, pull ups/chin ups, flexibility training. They keep you with a healthy muscle mass, and, you can take them anywhere! Even on holidays. 

Cycling, kayaking, and hiking make up the cardio aspect of it. Anything out in nature is fine by me. Whilst gyms have their place, I would always want to be outside (and away from the excessive grunting of the human tanks over at the weights bench).

If one is in shape, and wears clothing that are form fitting (male or female) most people cannot help but look, provided you aren't being an arse.

Alot of people say that the mind effects the body, the reverse is also true. Plus, being fit enables me to participate in one of life's greatest vices... Chocolate


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## Taxman

So, we spent most of our marriage in terrible physical shape. She got religion a few times and lost it all. She did not like working out. Me? Former HS wrestler and football guy, never learned to stop eating like I was competing, and ballooned up to 325-340lbs (past 320, I stopped weighing myself). The inevitable happened, and I had two heart attacks five years apart almost to the day. Not only that, but a reaction on the operating table robbed me of most of my immune system. After ten years, I got most of my immunity back, and was finally able to exercise. In short, I dropped to now 190. Sex life improved. Started working out, real improvement. Got her to go to the gym with me. (At 63, I now want to tear her clothes off every day) Massive change in our sex life. First the weight loss revealed two inches that I did not know existed. Second, she is going through something, please god do not ever make it stop, called PMZ (post menopausal zip or zing), she has more male hormone, driving her to multiple orgasms off the scale. (sometimes I thing I can lick the air in the next room and she gets off). The combination, is a perfect storm. I HAVE TO GO TO THE GYM, to increase my flexibility and the ability to maintain certain positions for long periods of time.


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## personofinterest

I am attracted to the runners or swimmers type body. While I like to drool over the rock, that's not really the type I go for. I like a tall and lean and fit looking man. Coincidentally, that is what my hubby looks like lol. It's interesting because I am curvy even when I am in very good shape. I have always had a somewhat small waist but wider hips no matter what I do. And I am ample enough across the chest that it sort of balances out haha. But right now I confess I am a size 14, and it surprises me that at my size I have gotten attention from the lean athletic types. I would have assumed that someone who looked like my husband would want a tiny little petite thing who models swimsuits. But he loves my curves. Who knew?


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## SentHereForAReason

personofinterest said:


> I am attracted to the runners or swimmers type body. While I like to drool over the rock, that's not really the type I go for. I like a tall and lean and fit looking man. Coincidentally, that is what my hubby looks like lol. It's interesting because I am curvy even when I am in very good shape. I have always had a somewhat small waist but wider hips no matter what I do. And I am ample enough across the chest that it sort of balances out haha. But right now I confess I am a size 14, and it surprises me that at my size I have gotten attention from the lean athletic types. I would have assumed that someone who looked like my husband would want a tiny little petite thing who models swimsuits. But he loves my curves. Who knew?


About the curves and attraction to them I think it's the changing times. I work at a University and workout at the campus fitness center. If you look at the girls that workout nowadays, sure you have your runners but a large majority of the active girls are now spending more time in the squat rack than on the treadmill. On a normal night during the Fall and Winter Semesters, you will have damn near as many women in there, lifting, as men. 

Could be I am caught up in the times or maybe it's what I liked all along, who knows but when I see an active, curvy woman, give me that anyday over the real skinny ones, in terms of pure physical attraction, excluding personality, etc.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

There's always seems to be a relationship between muscles and sex. Although it didn't really dawn on me until college age what it was, truly. All my friends in HS were the same, I thought most guys were going to be the same in the world. Raised in small rural community. 

At 6'3 and 186lbs in college and through 35yrs, I have more a swimmers body 46L coat, 34in waist and luckily have all my hair even today at 55yrs. Weigh the same today.

I lifted in HS and college because my roommate did, and erratically since then. Still fortunately well defined, esp abs. and shoulders. Go figure.

It was only in first term in college a hundred years ago when the first few women advised I was a treat. 

I did start to make use of it &#55357;&#56846;.

But my point is, although I didn't realize the importance earlier my own self...it's a real thing.

PS there's a trade off in buying clothes. I've never been able to buy off the rack shirts, suits. With 37in sleeves shirts and 36in inseam, have always had to order clothing. 

PS I did get an Engineering degree and stayed in the professional life and it's important to stay fit in that realm. 

That said we're all so much more than our purely physical selves. Looks will fade eventually for all. Your inside self and how you treat others will last.


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## SentHereForAReason

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> There's always seems to be a relationship between muscles and sex. Although it didn't really dawn on me until college age what it was, truly. All my friends in HS were the same, I thought most guys were going to be the same in the world. Raised in small rural community.
> 
> At 6'3 and 186lbs in college and through 35yrs, I have more a swimmers body 46L coat, 34in waist and luckily have all my hair even today at 55yrs. Weigh the same today.
> 
> I lifted in HS and college because my roommate did, and erratically since then. Still fortunately well defined, esp abs. and shoulders. Go figure.
> 
> It was only in first term in college a hundred years ago when the first few women advised I was a treat.
> 
> I did start to make use of it ��.
> 
> But my point is, although I didn't realize the importance earlier my own self...it's a real thing.
> 
> PS there's a trade off in buying clothes. I've never been able to buy off the rack shirts, suits. With 37in sleeves shirts and 36in inseam, have always had to order clothing.
> 
> PS I did get an Engineering degree and stayed in the professional life and it's important to stay fit in that realm.
> 
> That said we're all so much more than our purely physical selves. Looks will fade eventually for all. *Your inside self and how you treat others will last.*


:iagree:


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## thefam

I will have to go back and read this thread to see if my comment is even relevant.

Basically hubby and I won't let each other be great. I like his natural body which is lean and muscular, not too much bulk. He has been a gym rat ever since high school and he has to eat more to keep his weight UP. Past 5 years or so he has worked to be bulkier than his norm. He can't seem to keep the bulk on I guess because of his love for cardio.

I on the other hand gain weight just from walking by the ice cream section at the store. I HATED the gym before kids and only went because my husband dragged 3rd me. But I was in EXCELLENT shape as a result before kids. Now after kids I have s strong desire to become a female gym rat but have no time to go. I work out at jone, was down below pre-pregnancy weight until I started by working 2 months ago and fell off the wagon. But I'm back on track for this past few days.

I mentioned to hubby that when I stop work in October it's going to be gym membership or bust and I'm going to build some muscle. He did not like that at all and in fact mentioned he thought I had lost too much weight (he has never complained about my weight and even in the days he dragged me to the gym it was because he got tired of hearing ME whine about my weight). 

He says he likes "meat on my bone" and my voluptuous look as opposed to my slim look.

We will see how this turns out.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

personofinterest said:


> I am attracted to the runners or swimmers type body. While I like to drool over the rock, that's not really the type I go for. I like a tall and lean and fit looking man. Coincidentally, that is what my hubby looks like lol. It's interesting because I am curvy even when I am in very good shape. I have always had a somewhat small waist but wider hips no matter what I do. And I am ample enough across the chest that it sort of balances out haha. But right now I confess I am a size 14, and it surprises me that at my size I have gotten attention from the lean athletic types. I would have assumed that someone who looked like my husband would want a tiny little petite thing who models swimsuits. But he loves my curves. Who knew?


Interesting. Your H and I have the same tastes. That's my W.


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## EllisRedding

I have never had sex with muscular men @ConanHub , so not sure how much I can contribute to your quest 

In general, being healthy should benefit your sex drive and performance. Interestingly enough though, too much exercise can actually lower your testosterone levels (in the same manner it can also lower your immune system). Likewise, if you are pushing yourself, you are more likely to deal with fatigue. At one point, my W was really into running as she was preparing for a half marathon. We were talking about it and she mentioned how she was really happy about the positive changes to her figure. I made a comment that it is all well and good, but doesn't really do much for me since I get no benefit out of it (b/c of the amount of exercise and she looked great, she was constantly tired, and most of the alone time we had together she was ready to sleep).

However, I think a big part really depends on how you feel about yourself. Having a positive body image can go a long way with drive/desire. 

I am a rather muscular person, been working out for so long that I can't really say what impact it has had on my drive (at a younger age I had a rather active drive). Last week while on vacation, we were at a waterpark and my wife commented how she was so happy with my body after seeing all the other shirtless guys there lol. Funny enough, I am actually looking to reduce muscle a little. I don't particularly like when I am meeting with clients and my clothes fit tight / muscles are popping out. I would like to lean out a little as well which should help take some stress off my joints. Starting to shift a little more toward bb style lifting vs powerlifting which is what I have been doing for a while.

I can actually remember times when in the throws of passion with my W, having to stop or readjust because my hamstrings/glutes were sore from the gym and i was cramping up (looks kinda weird when you are desperately trying to straighten out one of your legs mid thrust, look something like the below lol.)


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## ReformedHubby

Cool, a thread where its acceptable to boast about being manly! We need one of those. Nothing wrong with being proud of your manliness! Every women I have ever been with says they love how safe I make them feel. I am in "decent" shape now, because I like eating whatever I want. But when I eat well for at least 60 days or so I am in elite shape. I wish I could say I was an avid lifter but I never really have been, The men in my family are just built like men, the way the good lord intended. I am 6 foot 5 with broad shoulders and always been strong as an ox. My dad is around 70 years old and still bigger than me, although not as muscular anymore because of lower T levels. I do Crossfit so its a mix of weights with metcon. I also bike. I definitely notice on days I lift heavy weights my sex drive is higher, I think there is supporting science behind this.

With that said I just love being a big man, it makes me feel masculine, you can literally feel how turned on it makes some women just to be in your presence. If they are petite its almost like they get lost in it when you embrace them. I think it makes them feel as feminine as it makes me feel masculine. Size has other perks too. I'm no bully but I actually love it when I am out at a bar or something like that and I step away from my date for a bit and inevitably someone will hit on your woman. When I return to her side I don't even have to say anything. They just walk away, or say "My bad bro". Recently a guy shouted, "She didn't tell me!!!!", and briskly walked away. Its not like I made a mean face or threatened him even. With size comes respect from men and women. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Ok....going to go out and club my dinner now and then cook it on fire.


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## RandomDude

My GF says she loves muscles as long as they are proportionate but what she finds most sexy are veins. Like veins, really? Meh, whatever, as long as she likes it! After a workout with veins popping out she starts fawning lol


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## ReformedHubby

RandomDude said:


> My GF says she loves muscles as long as they are proportionate but what she finds most sexy are veins. Like veins, really? Meh, whatever, as long as she likes it! After a workout with veins popping out she starts fawning lol


Ha, ha...if us poor guys only understood. Women notice every detail, and focus on body parts we don't even know we have. D pics should not be your go to! When I had an OLD dating profile some of the complements I got made me scratch my head. Things like, "I love your hands". Did not know hands were a thing. I've had women tell me my veins were like ropes. Yeah...that confused me too. When I was younger I thought I got a laid a lot because I was lucky, as I have matured I am starting to understand specifically why. 

*On a side note Dear Red Pillers, I sincerely apologize for being a twenty percenter, I also apologize to my bitter incels too, aka black pillers. I wish I could teach you, but I can't. This thread is about sexy, and honestly that isn't in any book or blog post. Real men don't make excuses, in anything we do, we don't apologize either, accept us as we are or don't, we are who we are, ain't no book for it or PUA guide. We're not "bad boys" we aren't mean are disrespectful, we don't even use game. We are just ourselves. We don't use titles like "alpha". I'm sure most posters who read this are like huh? But those that know will understand. One of my hugest pet peeves is this industry telling lonely and sexless men that being jerks is the path. It actually makes it worse.


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## Faithful Wife

ReformedHubby said:


> *On a side note Dear Red Pillers, I sincerely apologize for being a twenty percenter, I also apologize to my bitter incels too, aka black pillers. I wish I could teach you, but I can't. This thread is about sexy, and honestly that isn't in any book or blog post. Real men don't make excuses, in anything we do, we don't apologize either, accept us as we are or don't, we are who we are, ain't no book for it or PUA guide. We're not "bad boys" we aren't mean are disrespectful, we don't even use game. We are just ourselves. We don't use titles like "alpha". I'm sure most posters who read this are like huh? But those that know will understand. One of my hugest pet peeves is this industry telling lonely and sexless men that being jerks is the path. It actually makes it worse.


As red pillers, they have already been instructed NOT to get any advice from you, a natural. Because "you don't know how you are doing it" and because "you don't really want other guys to compete with you anyway, you want the 80% of women all to yourselves". So instead, they should buy books from and take advice from other men who are "self taught" (meaning, they can just tell you that they "know" and there's really no proof of what they "know" or what their "results" are but hey, read my blog and buy my book!) Also, they feel that only another man like themselves who has struggled with finding any women at all can teach a newbie.

Also, they have been instructed not to listen to any women about what we really want, because we wimmenz don't actually know what we want.

And finally, although you say you are not mean or disrespectful or using games on women, they don't believe you because they actually believe that men getting women all happens by trickery and games, and that this is how you do it, too.

:lol:


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## personofinterest

So FaithfulWife's last post made her my new hero 😄


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## ReformedHubby

Faithful Wife said:


> As red pillers, they have already been instructed NOT to get any advice from you, a natural. Because "you don't know how you are doing it" and because "you don't really want other guys to compete with you anyway, you want the 80% of women all to yourselves". So instead, they should buy books from and take advice from other men who are "self taught" (meaning, they can just tell you that they "know" and there's really no proof of what they "know" or what their "results" are but hey, read my blog and buy my book!) Also, they feel that only another man like themselves who has struggled with finding any women at all can teach a newbie.
> 
> Also, they have been instructed not to listen to any women about what we really want, because we wimmenz don't actually know what we want.
> 
> And finally, although you say you are not mean or disrespectful or using games on women, they don't believe you because they actually believe that men getting women all happens by trickery and games, and that this is how you do it, too.
> 
> :lol:


Interesting...its almost cultish in a way...apologies for the thread jack @ConanHub, but out of curiosity when the shootings started I spent some time on an incel forum aka the black pill. It was actually very frightening. They also emphasize isolating themselves from others that try to help. Basically believing that incels should really only listen to other incels. In fact if you are aren't an incel you pretty much aren't allowed to join. Some of the basic sex questions on the forum were sad and like the blind leading the blind, but the overwhelming thing I noticed was that the hatred of ALL women and attractive men was palpable, and many advocated violence. The have nicknames. Attractive white men are Chads, attractive black guys are Tyrones, and attractive women are known as Stacys. The whole thing is just bizarre, it was a lot of very angry, and very frustrated men. /End Thread Jack


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## TheDudeLebowski

Man, I honestly don't think it would be healthy for me to increase my drive. You guys would be thoroughly disgusted knowing the places and how often I rub one out. Not because I'm not getting sex, or to the detriment of our sex life, but because I can't help it. Self control issue maybe. But man, if you can sneak one in real quick, why not? My wife already believes I can't ever be satisfied in that department, no matter what goes down or how often we have sex. 

I'm in pretty good shape as an outdoorsman and backpacker. I can put in 20 mile days with a 35lbs pack and 8k-12kft elevation gain, no problem. But I'm definitely more on the lean side. Not Olympic long distant runner lean, but I'm not exactly muscular really. 

I wouldn't mind gaining maybe 10-15 pounds of muscle, but it's not a huge priority for me either. Also, I sort of like to stay lighter. I think it gives me an advantage on long distance trails with lots of elevation gains to stay on the lean side. I'm 5'7" and I like to stay around 150.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

TheDudeLebowski said:


> Man, I honestly don't think it would be healthy for me to increase my drive. You guys would be thoroughly disgusted knowing the places and how often I rub one out. Not because I'm not getting sex, or to the detriment of our sex life, but because I can't help it. Self control issue maybe. But man, if you can sneak one in real quick, why not? My wife already believes I can't ever be satisfied in that department, no matter what goes down or how often we have sex.
> 
> I'm in pretty good shape as an outdoorsman and backpacker. I can put in 20 mile days with a 35lbs pack and 8k-12kft elevation gain, no problem. But I'm definitely more on the lean side. Not Olympic long distant runner lean, but I'm not exactly muscular really.
> 
> I wouldn't mind gaining maybe 10-15 pounds of muscle, but it's not a huge priority for me either. Also, I sort of like to stay lighter. I think it gives me an advantage on long distance trails with lots of elevation gains to stay on the lean side. I'm 5'7" and I like to stay around 150.


Indeed, if that's the type of performance you seek, bulking up would not be beneficial. But the presence of large muscle mass does not imply actual fitness. What you do certainly does. 

I don't think I've ever seen a group as lean as pro/world class rock climbers. Those guys define lean. While their bicep or pec measurement is not gong to impress anybody on paper, just one look at those guys (and gals for that matter) confirms they are positively ripped. Those guys can't afford any dead weight. With no fat at all covering those smaller muscles, they still stand out more than my much bulkier muscles. I could outperform them in a powerlifting competition, which is just a few measurements of raw strength, when you add in the endurance requirements their sport demand, I'm gonna' fade pretty fast, relatively speaking.


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## TheDudeLebowski

As far as the thread jack, I wouldn't say I'm in the 20% I think I'm a solid 7, I'm not ugly. However, when it comes to gab, the art of flirting, and making a woman laugh, well, I tend to think I'm a cut above most men. I don't know if I would call it game, its more like a natural ability to counter the vibe another is giving off in a way that is favorable for both of us quickly and seamlessly. It has served me well throughout life, not just with flirting. Its probably why I'm in sales. I just have a way of easily making people comfortable and able to drop their guard a bit. I think its also important if you can take some verbal punches. Having a counter that pops in your head instantly gives you the ability to just walk through the punches with ease, without getting rattled. Playing off their body language, mood, words, gestures, tone... the ability to shift instantly with your own tone, body language, words, comebacks, in an organic way that doesn't feel fake or forced.

I think it is a skill that can be developed to a point, but like size and strength, some of us are just born a little quicker, a little more intuitive, and a little funnier. No matter how much work you put into it. 

So yeah, I definitely don't have time for the losers who make fun of people who can find a partner easily. I'm not the best looking guy either, or rich, tall, muscular, or a jerk and a DB or anything. I dont fit their models, but its not hard for me to get a girl either.


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## PreRaph

TheDudeLebowski said:


> As far as the thread jack, I wouldn't say I'm in the 20% I think I'm a solid 7, I'm not ugly. However, when it comes to gab, the art of flirting, and making a woman laugh, well, I tend to think I'm a cut above most men. I don't know if I would call it game, its more like a natural ability to counter the vibe another is giving off in a way that is favorable for both of us quickly and seamlessly. It has served me well throughout life, not just with flirting. Its probably why I'm in sales. I just have a way of easily making people comfortable and able to drop their guard a bit. I think its also important if you can take some verbal punches. Having a counter that pops in your head instantly gives you the ability to just walk through the punches with ease, without getting rattled. Playing off their body language, mood, words, gestures, tone... the ability to shift instantly with your own tone, body language, words, comebacks, in an organic way that doesn't feel fake or forced.
> 
> I think it is a skill that can be developed to a point, but like size and strength, some of us are just born a little quicker, a little more intuitive, and a little funnier. No matter how much work you put into it.
> 
> So yeah, I definitely don't have time for the losers who make fun of people who can find a partner easily. I'm not the best looking guy either, or rich, tall, muscular, or a jerk and a DB or anything. I dont fit their models, but its not hard for me to get a girl either.


That's why they call you the Big Dude Lebowski.


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## 269370

I shouldnthave said:


> Fit and trim. I would say the guy who was a 6'3" fit soccor player and rock climber is the one who's physical build got my juices flowing the most. Defined muscles, fit - but not at all bulky.



That’s me. On a bad day 

But I wish my arms were bigger.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## ConanHub

There are a lot of attributes men have that are attractive and I'm definitely not putting down any kind of fitness.

Healthy is always attractive and so are good personality traits.

This thread was in response to a question posed to me about muscles, lifting and sex drive specifically, because I have advocated for men with low drives to start a strenuous lifting regiment.

Healthy guys with no issues about drive really don't need to lift for an improvement in that area.

I also added a couple of observations I have had over the years.

Beefcake attracts. Woman aren't mindless about it and lean, healthy men definitely don't suffer for female attention but I have always noticed the almost reflexive response women have to a well proportioned beefcake entering the scene.

It isn't everything for sure but it is an undeniable little flash of temperature.


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## Diana7

ConanHub said:


> There are a lot of attributes men have that are attractive and I'm definitely not putting down any kind of fitness.
> 
> Healthy is always attractive and so are good personality traits.
> 
> This thread was in response to a question posed to me about muscles, lifting and sex drive specifically, because I have advocated for men with low drives to start a strenuous lifting regiment.
> 
> Healthy guys with no issues about drive really don't need to lift for an improvement in that area.
> 
> I also added a couple of observations I have had over the years.
> 
> Beefcake attracts. Woman aren't mindless about it and lean, healthy men definitely don't suffer for female attention but I have always noticed the almost reflexive response women have to a well proportioned beefcake entering the scene.
> 
> It isn't everything for sure but it is an undeniable little flash of temperature.


I am sure there are some women who like that yes, but many don't. Me for one. My husband is tall, lean and heathy and he got my attention IMMEDIATELY. He also got the attention of a younger neighbour who said to her mum, if that's what all Aussies are like I want one for myself.:surprise:
Muscle men don't it for me at all, maybe partly because they often want muscles because they think they will get more attention, and that puts me off immediately.


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## ConanHub

Diana7 said:


> I am sure there are some women who like that yes, but many don't. Me for one. My husband is tall, lean and heathy and he got my attention IMMEDIATELY. He also got the attention of a younger neighbour who said to her mum, if that's what all Aussies are like I want one for myself.:surprise:
> Muscle men don't it for me at all, maybe partly because they often want muscles because they think they will get more attention, and that puts me off immediately.


There is no doubt that men can have a striking appearance without being a beefcake.

There is also no doubt that beefcakes get a lot of attention, in general, from most of the female population.


----------



## Diana7

ConanHub said:


> There is no doubt that men can have a striking appearance without being a beefcake.
> 
> There is also no doubt that beefcakes get a lot of attention, in general, from most of the female population.


It may not always be admiration.


----------



## personofinterest

Diana7 said:


> It may not always be admiration.


When I see a man who is fit (my husband sounds like yours) I appreciate it. When I see a guy who is a "beefcake" body builder type, I know it is unfair, but my instinctual thought is:
- vain
- gym rat
- arrogant
- possibly not overly bright

Like I said, I know it's unfair, but I'm being honest


----------



## ConanHub

Diana7 said:


> It may not always be admiration.


In my experience with women, which definitely is more extensive than yours, the attention I am referring to is attraction.

You have a contrary streak a mile wide in your posts when it comes to some basics about humans.

This thread is about how weightlifting and building muscle can increase sex drive as well as the majority of women finding muscle attractive.

@Faithful Wife already illuminated that roided out monstrosities are not what we are discussing here but well shaped muscles are attractive.

This thread is not about anything else. Attitudes can be a turn off or on but that is for another thread.

Just on the basis of muscle and fitness, I have never experienced a female being put off by it.


----------



## 269370

personofinterest said:


> When I see a man who is fit (my husband sounds like yours) I appreciate it. When I see a guy who is a "beefcake" body builder type, I know it is unfair, but my instinctual thought is:
> 
> - vain
> 
> - gym rat
> 
> - arrogant
> 
> - possibly not overly bright
> 
> 
> 
> Like I said, I know it's unfair, but I'm being honest




Glasses is the new alpha!!  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ConanHub

personofinterest said:


> When I see a man who is fit (my husband sounds like yours) I appreciate it. When I see a guy who is a "beefcake" body builder type, I know it is unfair, but my instinctual thought is:
> - vain
> - gym rat
> - arrogant
> - possibly not overly bright
> 
> Like I said, I know it's unfair, but I'm being honest


LOL! This is a true but trained or learned response.

I'm muscular, have a good I.Q., I am a gentleman to a fault, I am confident but not even close to an arrogant ass IRL, and I do like to be active as well as exercising in the gym a few times a week.

What is wrong with gym rats anyway?


----------



## 269370

ConanHub said:


> In my experience with women, which definitely is more expensive than yours, the attention I am referring to is attraction.
> 
> 
> 
> You have a contrary streak a mile wide in your posts when it comes to some basics about humans.
> 
> 
> 
> This thread is about how weightlifting and building muscle can increase sex drive as well as the majority of women finding muscle attractive.
> 
> 
> @Faithful Wife already illuminated that roided out monstrosities are not what we are discussing here but well shaped muscles are attractive.
> 
> 
> 
> This thread is not about anything else. Attitudes can be a turn off or on but that is for another thread.
> 
> 
> 
> Just on the basis of muscle and fitness, I have never experienced a female being put off by it.




I always point out muscly guys to her when we are out to see her reaction (and if anything twitches down there accidentally...because she never stares/ogles or notices such things) and she seems genuinely put off by muscle; I think for her: definition, not overweight/lean, tall and wide shoulders/back seems important. Which coincides with my physique. But I wonder if she became like this because of me or if she always liked guys like me. 
Or if she is pretending and actually masturbates 3 times a day to The Hulk.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## 269370

ConanHub said:


> What is wrong with gym rats anyway?



They have towel fights in the showers and compare their tiny penises:

https://youtu.be/OkkIuuPROMM



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

personofinterest said:


> When I see a man who is fit (my husband sounds like yours) I appreciate it. When I see a guy who is a "beefcake" body builder type, I know it is unfair, but my instinctual thought is:
> - vain
> - gym rat
> - arrogant
> - possibly not overly bright
> 
> Like I said, I know it's unfair, but I'm being honest


I understand. 

When I was in my late 20s, I really got into the powerlifting. I got truly massive. I didn't really have other hobbies at the time, so 1.5 hrs/day in the gym was no biggie, especially since I lived right next to work and had no commute whatsoever, so the hour or more a day most spend on their butts in a car, I spent on the bench in the gym. I still had plenty of time to be a good husband. We spent quality time together every evening, all day together on the weekends, and I did most of the cooking in addition to all the yardwork. I was not doing it out of vanity; I genuinely enjoyed the activity itself, and I liked setting and achieving goals, regardless of whether or not anyone else would notice. There was no arrogance involved, and I was still the same high IQ guy I always was.

But my wife was uncomfortable knowing that I might be giving that negative impression to the rest of the world, especially since I was supposed to be building my professional career, which wasn't, by appearance sake, compatible with being a musclehead. 

Funny thing, now that I've completed that career with success greater than expected, and doing well in my next career, we're completely financially stable, and I have time to lift again, even at 53 I'm almost as big as I was at 27, and she loves it. There is great freedom in outgrowing concern over appearances of drawing stereotype based assumptions.


----------



## personofinterest

ConanHub said:


> LOL! This is a true but trained or learned response.
> 
> I'm muscular, have a good I.Q., I am a gentleman to a fault, I am confident but not even close to an arrogant ass IRL, and I do like to be active as well as exercising in the gym a few times a week.
> 
> What is wrong with gym rats anyway?


Yes, I am definitely aware of how silly that instinctual reaction is. I worked for a very smart medical doctor who was a body building competitor. And he was a very kind, humble person.

I think it comes from past movies and TV shoes playing off on the "dumb jock" stereotype.

The main reason I wouldn't want to be with what I assume is a gym rat is because if he works full time and then spends 3 hours a day at the gym, when will we actually have a relationship? Plus, I don't want those giant cans of protein cluttering my cabinets lol!


----------



## dadstartingover

What I have found, as a muscley dude:

People, at first, may not take you seriously in an intellectual sense. They are surprised at nerdiness or any interests outside of the gym or sports. I had a guy say that he was genuinely surprised I knew what Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was. I asked why... he said, "You look more like a football player type."

Women have said to me that they don't really like muscle guys that much, for all the typical reasons. I have learned that much of what women say doesn't necessarily match up with their actions when it comes to visceral attraction and sexuality. Those same women would nonchalantly put their hands on my chest and squeeze my arms... as if they had no idea what they were doing, but acted like giggly schoolgirls when doing so.

Being muscley broke down barriers and allowed them to open up a bit more. 

What I'm trying to say is muscley guys get laid more. ;-)


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Yeah, that's an interesting phenomenon.

My wife didn't fondle my muscles when I was 28. Nor did she ever comment on whether or not I looked good.

Nowadays, I gen plenty of muscle fondling and appreciative comments. 

I have no idea why.


----------



## ReformedHubby

dadstartingover said:


> People, at first, may not take you seriously in an intellectual sense. They are surprised at nerdiness or any interests outside of the gym or sports. I had a guy say that he was genuinely surprised I knew what Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was. I asked why... he said, "You look more like a football player type."


Your post reminds me of something that NBA Hall Of Famer Bill Russell said, he is an extremely intelligent intellectual man, he said "Athletes and pretty women have something in common, no one cares what we have to say, and no one thinks we could be the smartest person in the room."

I have honestly dealt with this in my career. I am the geek that doesn't look like one. I started out my career as a programmer, and literally every job I had I could tell people were shocked that the big black dude was one of the sharpest programmers on the staff. I am also a Trekkie. Yep, I am a dork. I'm not saying this held me back in anyway at all....but....you do have to overcome assumptions about you based on appearance sometimes. I think everyone is impacted by it in some shape form or manner.


----------



## Faithful Wife

personofinterest said:


> ConanHub said:
> 
> 
> 
> LOL! This is a true but trained or learned response.
> 
> I'm muscular, have a good I.Q., I am a gentleman to a fault, I am confident but not even close to an arrogant ass IRL, and I do like to be active as well as exercising in the gym a few times a week.
> 
> What is wrong with gym rats anyway?<a href="http://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Smile" ></a>
> 
> 
> 
> Yes, I am definitely aware of how silly that instinctual reaction is. I worked for a very smart medical doctor who was a body building competitor. And he was a very kind, humble person.
> 
> I think it comes from past movies and TV shoes playing off on the "dumb jock" stereotype.
> 
> The main reason I wouldn't want to be with what I assume is a gym rat is because if he works full time and then spends 3 hours a day at the gym, when will we actually have a relationship? Plus, I don't want those giant cans of protein cluttering my cabinets lol!
Click to expand...

I totally get this. There is a vibe some muscly guys give that says “it’s all about me”. I don’t know how, but when I look at a guy who is muscly, I can kind of tell if he’s one of those guys or just a regular guy who is muscly. 

An all about me and my muscles guy is a complete turn off. A regular muscly guy is a turn on.

For me, guys who are just naturally fit and muscly and don’t even work out are the best ones. My current guy is one of those. Genetics, healthy eating, and hard work on a farm as a child gave him an incredible physique. He isn’t chiseled, he’s just huge everywhere except his waist. A really fine ass, too....yummm.


----------



## uhtred

I've seen a lot of variation in what women and men find attractive in others. Well muscled men seem attractive to many women (and some men), but not to all. Same for tall large-breasted swimsuit issue style women.

There is also a lot of range in what "attracted" means. "Nice to look at" is different from "want to have sex with", is different from "want to be in a relationship with". 

Interesting if you look at teen (and sometimes older women's) heartthrobs, they don't tend to be heavily muscled. I don't know who they are now, but a decade or two ago, Orlando Bloom. (???? no I don't get it)


----------



## ConanHub

On the current subject, I have been consistently underestimated in the intelligence and character department since I was 14 and was already developing.

I was looked at like an object for lustful glances and definitely had my share of bicep and chest touches but I couldn't possibly be intelligent or have character depth.

My own wife didn't have sympathy for years until watching an episode of The Incredible Hulk where Lou played a regular bodybuilder in a dual role with his green counterpart.

He expressed what it was like to be touched all the time and looked at like an object with no feelings or a mind of his own.

Mrs. C actually got tears in her eyes and, laying a gentle hand on my arm, told me she didn't realize some of the ways I had been treated until Lou explained it on the show.

She had been too busy enjoying being with the beefcake to realize how others often treated me.


----------



## personofinterest

I would imagine getting uninvited touches all the time would feel very invasive. I know when I was pregnant, it got on my nerves that strangers just assumed they could touch my belly.


----------



## dadstartingover

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Yeah, that's an interesting phenomenon.
> 
> My wife didn't fondle my muscles when I was 28. Nor did she ever comment on whether or not I looked good.
> 
> Nowadays, I gen plenty of muscle fondling and appreciative comments.
> 
> I have no idea why.


How old is the wife now?


----------



## farsidejunky

Diana7 said:


> It may not always be admiration.


Nor did anyone suggest it "always" was admiration.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk


----------



## Diana7

personofinterest said:


> When I see a man who is fit (my husband sounds like yours) I appreciate it. When I see a guy who is a "beefcake" body builder type, I know it is unfair, but my instinctual thought is:
> - vain
> - gym rat
> - arrogant
> - possibly not overly bright
> 
> Like I said, I know it's unfair, but I'm being honest


My thoughts exactly. The vain and arrogant being the most likely. A vain arrogant man is such a turn off for me.
A man who seeks/wants/desires/female attention is also a massive red flag to me. To me that shows his insecurity and also that maybe I cant trust him. 
I like men who are secure in themselves and who don't feel the need to show off. For me its the character and personality of the man that makes him sexy or not.


----------



## gr8ful1

ConanHub said:


> Beginners need to work up to it and start slow or with a trainer to avoid injury.
> 
> Any man that doesn't have serious health restrictions, can start developing muscle rather quickly especially with a good diet.


 @ConanHub Any links to how to best get started? I’m looking for a regimen, diet, schedule, etc. I’m 49 and a (sadly, former) cyclist who’s been to o busy to do anything this year but my libido’s taken a big hit (stress?) and I’d really like to hit the weights to build now.

Thanks!


----------



## SentHereForAReason

gr8ful1 said:


> @ConanHub Any links to how to best get started? I’m looking for a regimen, diet, schedule, etc. I’m 49 and a (sadly, former) cyclist who’s been to o busy to do anything this year but my libido’s taken a big hit (stress?) and I’d really like to hit the weights to build now.
> 
> Thanks!


 @gr8ful1 feel free to join the thread I started in another sub-forum on Monday and we'll be glad to help. 

https://talkaboutmarriage.com/social-spot/428163-90-day-fitness-challenge.html


----------



## ConanHub

stillfightingforus said:


> @gr8ful1 feel free to join the thread I started in another sub-forum on Monday and we'll be glad to help.
> 
> https://talkaboutmarriage.com/social-spot/428163-90-day-fitness-challenge.html


I will answer your question on this thread if it hasn't already been addressed. @gr8ful1


----------



## RandomDude

uhtred said:


> I've seen a lot of variation in what women and men find attractive in others. Well muscled men seem attractive to many women (and some men), but not to all. Same for tall large-breasted swimsuit issue style women.
> 
> There is also a lot of range in what "attracted" means. "Nice to look at" is different from "want to have sex with", is different from "want to be in a relationship with".
> 
> Interesting if you look at teen (and sometimes older women's) heartthrobs, they don't tend to be heavily muscled. I don't know who they are now, but a decade or two ago, Orlando Bloom. (???? no I don't get it)


Majority of women like muscles, I think the spectrum is kinda something like this, give or take:

0-15% - BIG MEN, FAT? What's that?









15-40% - Muscles FTW! Da bigga da betta!









40%-80% - Muscles, not too big, but nicely toned muscles.









80-90% - Meh, don't care. Big or skinny, other things are more important.

90-100% - Muscles, ewww, fat, ewww, I like skinny guys.









So yeah, best to hit the gym to up your chances. True, your personality will shine out for many women, and they will love that about you, but whether that is enough to get them hot and bothered is another story 

I go through skinny stages in my low times, and I found my options alot more limited then when I look healthy and toned. Been getting myself back in fighting shape due to the sheer amount of disrespectful guys hitting on my girl last few months too. And she appreciates it, makes her feel safe, proud, and yeah even loved.


----------



## RandomDude

ConanHub said:


> On the current subject, I have been consistently underestimated in the intelligence and character department since I was 14 and was already developing.
> 
> I was looked at like an object for lustful glances and definitely had my share of bicep and chest touches but I couldn't possibly be intelligent or have character depth.
> 
> My own wife didn't have sympathy for years until watching an episode of The Incredible Hulk where Lou played a regular bodybuilder in a dual role with his green counterpart.


There's a trick for that, wear glasses


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

dadstartingover said:


> How old is the wife now?


54. I'm 53.


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> Yeah, that's an interesting phenomenon.
> 
> My wife didn't fondle my muscles when I was 28. Nor did she ever comment on whether or not I looked good.
> 
> Nowadays, I gen plenty of muscle fondling and appreciative comments.
> 
> I have no idea why.


I had to stop at this post, so forgive me if this has already been commented on. But I have a reason why. "Dad bod" is talked up these days. The population is more overweight and out of shape than ever. With the new craze on healthy eating, diets, nutrition, and exercise, I think we are starting to make the turn around the bend as a nation. 

With that said, I think its sort of gotten to the point where people are used to seeing overweight men in their 50s. To the point where a dad bod is hot, because the vast majority sport the alternative which is obesity. So 5'7" 260 vs 5'7" 180, well the 180 pound man is attractive, and 150, where you probably should be, is seen as a bean pole or too skinny. 

I think this also applies to "thicc" women. It is my belief that we have been so big as a nation for so long that it has changed what we now find attractive. The scale has gone up about 20-30 pounds. Of course, I could be way off on this theory too.

So now they see the rare 50 year old, fit and muscular, and you become like the accent that isn't native to your country. People are noticing that rarity more, and it is attractive. Like when I meet a girl with a russian accent for example


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

personofinterest said:


> I would imagine getting uninvited touches all the time would feel very invasive. I know when I was pregnant, it got on my nerves that strangers just assumed they could touch my belly.


I'm not trying to turn this thread into something it isn't, but I'll just point out that men have had this complaint for a long time. We get touched, sexually, VERY often. But its not really seen as that big of a deal to women. Where as I think most men hear of another man doing this to women and we want to take him behind the wood shed and teach him some manners so to speak. Just saying, it would be nice if once in a while we felt like most women care about issues that men face the same way I personally feel most men care about the issues women face. I'll just leave it at that. Back to the conversation...


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

RandomDude said:


> Majority of women like muscles, I think the spectrum is kinda something like this, give or take:
> 
> 0-15% - BIG MEN, FAT? What's that?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 15-40% - Muscles FTW! Da bigga da betta!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 40%-80% - Muscles, not too big, but nicely toned muscles.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 80-90% - Meh, don't care. Big or skinny, other things are more important.
> 
> 90-100% - Muscles, ewww, fat, ewww, I like skinny guys.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> So yeah, best to hit the gym to up your chances. True, your personality will shine out for many women, and they will love that about you, but whether that is enough to get them hot and bothered is another story
> 
> I go through skinny stages in my low times, and I found my options alot more limited then when I look healthy and toned. Been getting myself back in fighting shape due to the sheer amount of disrespectful guys hitting on my girl last few months too. And she appreciates it, makes her feel safe, proud, and yeah even loved.



Well I'm not fat, but I'm not attractive as any of those other guys either. &#55357;&#56836;

I'll continue to rely on my gift of gab :grin2:

What I wouldn't give for that thick head of hair. I'm not balding or have a receding hairline or anything, but I don't have that thick luscious head of hair either. Nor those jaw lines &#55357;&#56836; I look more like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. I've also been compared to a young Josh Brolin. Think Goonies.


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

All my kids' teenage friends were convinced I was actually "that guy from the Mummy" (Brendan Frasier). 

I thought that was pretty cool, not because he was a star, and he wasn't in the same league as a Redford or Gere in the lady swooning department, but they were saying this when I was well into my 40s (I'm a good chunk older than Brendan). 

Part of this was basic similarities in physical characteristics (height, general build, hair color), but I'm convinced it also had to do with the way I carry myself. I generally tend to project that rather cavalier, semi-goofy image that Brendan made his trademark, especially when I'm around teens (that I'm not parenting).


----------



## SentHereForAReason

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> All my kids' teenage friends were convinced I was actually "that guy from the Mummy" (Brendan Frasier).
> 
> I thought that was pretty cool, not because he was a star, and he wasn't in the same league as a Redford or Gere in the lady swooning department, but they were saying this when I was well into my 40s (I'm a good chunk older than Brendan).
> 
> Part of this was basic similarities in physical characteristics (height, general build, hair color), but I'm convinced it also had to do with the way I carry myself. I generally tend to project that rather cavalier, semi-goofy image that Brendan made his trademark, especially when I'm around teens (that I'm not parenting).


Wait a minute lol. Encino Man/Mummy Fraser was a beast but have you seen what he looked like after, it was not good to say the least lol. Hopefully they meant pre-2002 Fraser 🙂


----------



## TheDudeLebowski

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> All my kids' teenage friends were convinced I was actually "that guy from the Mummy" (Brendan Frasier).
> 
> I thought that was pretty cool, not because he was a star, and he wasn't in the same league as a Redford or Gere in the lady swooning department, but they were saying this when I was well into my 40s (I'm a good chunk older than Brendan).
> 
> Part of this was basic similarities in physical characteristics (height, general build, hair color), but I'm convinced it also had to do with the way I carry myself. I generally tend to project that rather cavalier, semi-goofy image that Brendan made his trademark, especially when I'm around teens (that I'm not parenting).


Youre gonna love my recent mention of you then :grin2:


----------



## dadstartingover

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> 54. I'm 53.


Well, this will sound blunt... she doesn't have many options now, does she? A younger and more attractive version of your wife is not so thrilled with young muscular you. Then her options dry up, the cat calls stop, and suddenly ol' fuddy duddy starts looking like prince charming.


----------



## Faithful Wife

dadstartingover said:


> Rocky Mountain Yeti said:
> 
> 
> 
> 54. I'm 53.
> 
> 
> 
> Well, this will sound blunt... she doesn't have many options now, does she? A younger and more attractive version of your wife is not so thrilled with young muscular you. Then her options dry up, the cat calls stop, and suddenly ol' fuddy duddy starts looking like prince charming.
Click to expand...

Huh. What a weird response. Do you know anything about Yeti’s story? He’s not saying she is all over him for sex, he just said she likes his muscles more now or just didn’t notice before or whatever. But there’s really nothing suggesting that she is somehow all over him and clinging on to him because SHE is now older? 

From what I understand of his story, she is not the type to be “missing” the cat calls from when she is younger. There’s also no reason to assume she’s not still getting them. But I still can’t figure out why her getting cat calls is relevant at all.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> All my kids' teenage friends were convinced I was actually "that guy from the Mummy" (Brendan Frasier).
> 
> I thought that was pretty cool, not because he was a star, and he wasn't in the same league as a Redford or Gere in the lady swooning department, but they were saying this when I was well into my 40s (I'm a good chunk older than Brendan).
> 
> Part of this was basic similarities in physical characteristics (height, general build, hair color), but I'm convinced it also had to do with the way I carry myself. I generally tend to project that rather cavalier, semi-goofy image that Brendan made his trademark, especially when I'm around teens (that I'm not parenting).


Yum! He’s one of my celebrity crushes! He did one movie called Blast From the Past that was hysterical and soooooooo totally charming. I like Bedazzled too. Hysterical!


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

dadstartingover said:


> Well, this will sound blunt... she doesn't have many options now, does she? A younger and more attractive version of your wife is not so thrilled with young muscular you. Then her options dry up, the cat calls stop, and suddenly ol' fuddy duddy starts looking like prince charming.


Not necessarily blunt, but well off target. We both had zero other options the moment we said "I Do." Not only did she commit to forsaking all others 31 years ago, she has lived, and will always live that particular vow without exception. And given that I will do the same, she need not fondle me to keep me. 

And she looks damn fine for 54. Were she free, there's no shortage of guys who would be happy to gobble her right up. 

Any "lack of options" she may have is based strictly on commitment to the marriage rather than loss of looks.


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Faithful Wife said:


> Huh. What a weird response. Do you know anything about Yeti’s story? He’s not saying she is all over him for sex, he just said she likes his muscles more now or just didn’t notice before or whatever. But there’s really nothing suggesting that she is somehow all over him and clinging on to him because SHE is now older?
> 
> From what I understand of his story, she is not the type to be “missing” the cat calls from when she is younger. There’s also no reason to assume she’s not still getting them. But I still can’t figure out why her getting cat calls is relevant at all.


She's always been shy of overt attention. And if offered in a crude manner, she would be mortified, not flattered. She's never had any need for ego kibbles, which is one of the reasons I not only love, but respect her as well.


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

Faithful Wife said:


> Yum! He’s one of my celebrity crushes! He did one movie called Blast From the Past that was hysterical and soooooooo totally charming. I like Bedazzled too. Hysterical!


Yeah, Blast From the Past was a good one. He did a great job playing that totally sheltered, pure, wholesome guy going through an awakening but keeping his gentle soul in tact in the process. 

Another silly, but fun one was one of his earlier "Airheads" where he and his buddies in a rock band take a radio station hostage to get them to play their record.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

TheDudeLebowski said:


> I'm not trying to turn this thread into something it isn't, but I'll just point out that men have had this complaint for a long time. We get touched, sexually, VERY often. But its not really seen as that big of a deal to women. Where as I think most men hear of another man doing this to women and we want to take him behind the wood shed and teach him some manners so to speak. Just saying, it would be nice if once in a while we felt like most women care about issues that men face the same way I personally feel most men care about the issues women face. I'll just leave it at that. Back to the conversation...


I have to reinforce what the Dude says. A man may get touched regularly on arm or anywhere in ways that if was done to a woman folks would fly off the handle and rightly so. Yesterday a woman patted me way more than once on the stomach while we're walking in hallway. But it's never a thing to mention. But as a married man/men we also try to keep a distance when a repeat because of perceptions that can be harmful.


----------



## ReformedHubby

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I have to reinforce what the Dude says. A man may get touched regularly on arm or anywhere in ways that if was done to a woman folks would fly off the handle and rightly so. Yesterday a woman patted me way more than once on the stomach while we're walking in hallway. But it's never a thing to mention. But as a married man/men we also try to keep a distance when a repeat because of perceptions that can be harmful.


Yeah...there is definitely a double standard when it comes to the whole women touching men thing, or even women making inappropriate sexual comments. But....I'm not sure how I feel about it. Obviously in a professional environment it should never happen. But honestly there are times and places when you actually want to be objectified and don't mind that kind of attention at all. Its really complicated stuff to me. Not black and white.


----------



## hope4family

I usually exercise to maintain a trim muscular build, but I prioritize cardio over anything else. 

The result? Well I will maintain it only makes what many consider a higher drive better. 

From a workout perspective, pushups are the cure for insecurity. Too shy to talk to women? More pushups will fix it. Just my personal motto and overall it works. 

Now as for the quest to find someone of equal drive....


----------



## Haiku

.


----------



## ConanHub

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I have to reinforce what the Dude says. A man may get touched regularly on arm or anywhere in ways that if was done to a woman folks would fly off the handle and rightly so. Yesterday a woman patted me way more than once on the stomach while we're walking in hallway. But it's never a thing to mention. But as a married man/men we also try to keep a distance when a repeat because of perceptions that can be harmful.


Had the same thing happen from my cousin's wife.

But, to the spirit of this thread, she obviously found you attractive.


----------



## happiness27

hope4family said:


> I usually exercise to maintain a trim muscular build, but I prioritize cardio over anything else.
> 
> The result? Well I will maintain it only makes what many consider a higher drive better.
> 
> From a workout perspective, pushups are the cure for insecurity. Too shy to talk to women? More pushups will fix it. Just my personal motto and overall it works.
> 
> Now as for the quest to find someone of equal drive....


I have read more than one place that pushups are the perfect exercise. Pushups and planks. They work out everything.


----------



## happiness27

hope4family said:


> I usually exercise to maintain a trim muscular build, but I prioritize cardio over anything else.
> 
> The result? Well I will maintain it only makes what many consider a higher drive better.
> 
> From a workout perspective, pushups are the cure for insecurity. Too shy to talk to women? More pushups will fix it. Just my personal motto and overall it works.
> 
> Now as for the quest to find someone of equal drive....


Sometimes I wonder if its a matter of unlocking the drive in your partner. My husband and I have worked many years getting to know and trust each other very intimately. It has created a very exciting sex life where porn was kicked to the curb in favor of intense focus on our attraction and drive towards each other. Its the stuff of romance novels that includes passion, laughter and expression of intense love. The road to this place was very rocky but we never gave up.


----------



## NJ2

My H's job was physical for many years and he had fabulous muscles. I used to love to watch him sweaty with his shirt off.
I'd say he managed to keep that physique till a knee injury prevented him from playing his sport. That and age? have seen a steady decline in muscle mass over the last 4 years. 

I miss his bigger muscles but I don't see any decline in his drive, performance or my desire for him.

When I was in university and at various other periods throughout my life I was into weight lifting. My hero was Rachel Mclish back in the day. It was a point of pride and hard work. I used to feel like I could vacuum and lift the couch right up if I needed to. I was also driven by the perfection thing though which can be exhausting. 

Being happy with your body is sexy no matter what shape you are in..Currently not doing the gym due to- hmmmmm ....bad hips and laziness I guess. I am content with my imperfect body though. That is a liberating thing which translates to a higher drive I think. You aren't hung up on worrying abut your flaws you are just having fun.


----------



## Diana7

NJ2 said:


> My H's job was physical for many years and he had fabulous muscles. I used to love to watch him sweaty with his shirt off.
> I'd say he managed to keep that physique till a knee injury prevented him from playing his sport. That and age? have seen a steady decline in muscle mass over the last 4 years.
> 
> I miss his bigger muscles but I don't see any decline in his drive, performance or my desire for him.
> 
> When I was in university and at various other periods throughout my life I was into weight lifting. My hero was Rachel Mclish back in the day. It was a point of pride and hard work. I used to feel like I could vacuum and lift the couch right up if I needed to. I was also driven by the perfection thing though which can be exhausting.
> 
> Being happy with your body is sexy no matter what shape you are in..Currently not doing the gym due to- hmmmmm ....bad hips and laziness I guess. I am content with my imperfect body though. That is a liberating thing which translates to a higher drive I think. You aren't hung up on worrying abut your flaws you are just having fun.


Yes, being secure in yourself and who you are whatever body you have is the key. I honestly don't care what others think of me, my husband is the only one I care about. I just don't understand this need to work for a certain body type to get attention from the opposite sex. Seems very insecure to me. Also is that the sort of person we want to attract? Someone who is only interested in looks? There is so much more to attraction and a good healthy relationship than that.


----------



## ConanHub

Diana7 said:


> Yes, being secure in yourself and who you are whatever body you have is the key. I honestly don't care what others think of me, my husband is the only one I care about. I just don't understand this need to work for a certain body type to get attention from the opposite sex. Seems very insecure to me. Also is that the sort of person we want to attract? Someone who is only interested in looks? There is so much more to attraction and a good healthy relationship than that.


Muscles are only one aspect of sexual drive and attraction. 

One of many, but one nonetheless. 

I'm pretty far off from insecure, opposing end of the spectrum actually, and muscles are an independent trait regardless of mental/emotional states of being. 

It is good to be comfortable in your own skin and I am no where near the physical monster I use to be. I am a grandfather but still confident. 

Muscles are sexy however and I have found a distinct increase in drive associated with heavy lifting.


----------



## VladDracul

I've pretty much been into weights, martial arts all my life. In my teens, I was into boxing. At 71, I am among the oldest and perhaps the oldest among you. Beyond the sex life aspects, the health aspects has proven to be a real plus. Many folks guess my age as mid to late fifties. A couple of years ago I had pain in my left arm and shoulder area that led to a heart cath. Turns out I had no signs of blockage and my heart is in excellent condition. The pain was a bad rotator cuff. I attribute both the physical activity. Well the rotator cuff was likely lifting a Troybuilt tiller out of my pickup a few years back; at least that when I felt it pull.
I am considered buff, albeit I gained about 10 pounds too much (206 and 5'11") due to the sedentary lifestyle after my rotator cuff surgery this past April. Suffice it to say my wife admittedly states she was and is attracted to my built, shoulders and butt especially.


----------



## Haiku

NJ2 said:


> I am content with my imperfect body though. That is a liberating thing which translates to a higher drive I think. You aren't hung up on worrying abut your flaws you are just having fun.


Beautifully said!


----------



## [email protected]

My sister could not stand body builder types. She liked long, lean types who were in shape but without bulging muscles. She married one.


----------



## Diana7

ConanHub said:


> Muscles are only one aspect of sexual drive and attraction.
> 
> One of many, but one nonetheless.
> 
> I'm pretty far off from insecure, opposing end of the spectrum actually, and muscles are an independent trait regardless of mental/emotional states of being.
> 
> It is good to be comfortable in your own skin and I am no where near the physical monster I use to be. I am a grandfather but still confident.
> 
> Muscles are sexy however and I have found a distinct increase in drive associated with heavy lifting.


They are sexy to some.


----------



## PreRaph

The not-so-secret secret is to be healthy, physically and mentally. A healthy man is an attractive man, maybe not to everybody, but who needs to be attractive to everybody anyway? I'm not into weightlifting. Never did it for me, but I see men that it benefits well, and sure, it makes a man nice to look at. Just like a healthy woman with nice curves and fantastic boobs is easy on the eyes, I mean, really easy on the eyes. But that doesn't mean I'd choose her over another woman. There are a hundred ways that a woman can be attractive. I enjoy finding things attractive about a woman that mark her as different, unique. Her smile, her vivacity, or her subtlety, her secretive sideways glance, her free and easy walk, her reservedness, her full-bodiedness, her slender legs, her petiteness. it can all be attractive, and why the hell would I say something like, "well, I prefer a woman who's athletic and she has to have a D-cup or close and looks super-hot in an evening dress." Good luck. 

And on the push-ups. Be careful gang. Push-ups and planks are very good, no doubt, but too many can negatively affect your posture. it's better if you can combine them with chin-ups. Much better for the posture. Use a machine that assists you on chin-ups if needed.


----------



## ConanHub

Diana7 said:


> They are sexy to some.


Ok. Please start a thread on the physical attraction of flab and unhealthy skinniness. 

I heartily disagree with you 100%.


----------



## Luminous

PreRaph said:


> And on the push-ups. Be careful gang. Push-ups and planks are very good, no doubt, but too many can negatively affect your posture. it's better if you can combine them with chin-ups. Much better for the posture. Use a machine that assists you on chin-ups if needed.


Sit ups are also good to counteract any negative effects that push ups have on posture. I only say that from experience from doing both since I was 16 (if only sit ups weren't so boring! )


----------



## ConanHub

[email protected] said:


> My sister could not stand body builder types. She liked long, lean types who were in shape but without bulging muscles. She married one.


He was in shape however, and did have muscles.

This thread isn't about roided out guys who can't even move right and lean muscles, as opposed to larger ones, are still attractive.

The lean, but still muscular, look is very sexy.

No one size fits all here but muscle tone and shape are definite attractions as opposed to shapeless flab or skin and bones or simply being somewhat out of shape.


----------



## manwithnoname

ConanHub said:


> Ok. Please start a thread on the physical attraction of flab and unhealthy skinniness.
> 
> I heartily disagree with you 100%.


I don't think @Diana7 finds either of those physical attributes attractive in her husband (whichever it may be) but rather other attributes that he may have. I also wonder if she would be even more attracted to him if he put on a little more lean muscle mass, or bulked up with a little more muscle if he is skinny. 

I think so.


----------



## EllisRedding

ConanHub said:


> Ok. Please start a thread on the physical attraction of flab and unhealthy skinniness.
> 
> I heartily disagree with you 100%.


----------



## ConanHub

manwithnoname said:


> I don't think @Diana7 finds either of those physical attributes attractive in her husband (whichever it may be) but rather other attributes that he may have. I also wonder if she would be even more attracted to him if he put on a little more lean muscle mass, or bulked up with a little more muscle if he is skinny.
> 
> I think so.


From her description of him, I gather he is neither flabby or skinny but tall and well built.

She is making ridiculous arguments in this thread and I want her to put up or shut up.

This thread isn't about bodybuilding competitions.

It is about how I was asked about how my exercise routines, namely weightlifting, affected my libido and I also included how it affected many women's attraction, physically, for me.

It wasn't a slam on any body type or personality trait.

There are some men struggling with drive and probably T levels and heavy lifting can often remedy that as well as improve overall health and make you more physically attractive.

Some folks are only seeing what they want to here and Diana is making silly arguments based on her own conjecture.

Her husband has muscles according to her description but she goes on to contradict me at every opportunity to educate me that some people prefer flab or skin and bone.

I highly encourage her to start a thread backing up this ridiculous claim that flab or lack of any noticeable muscle is actually physically attractive.

Start a new thread @Diana7

I look forward to reading your well thought out arguments and real life experiences that show how sex drive was improved in men by being in worse shape and how some women really find flabby or skinny men with no muscle tone more physically attractive.

Since I only spoke of my experiences and observations, maybe you could expound on your experience with flabby or skinny men that you found physically attractive.

I haven't even pulled out the research and studies that back my experience and contradict your contrary statements.


----------



## ConanHub

P.S. This thread is absolutely not trying to slam or shame any body type regardless of fitness.

Muscles, I repeat yet again for the literacy impaired, are only one of many attraction factors.


----------



## Andy1001

“If you build it they will come”.
Multiple times I find.


----------



## ConanHub

Andy1001 said:


> “If you build it they will come”.
> Multiple times I find.


First laugh of the morning! Nice wit.:grin2:


----------



## Andy1001

ConanHub said:


> First laugh of the morning! Nice wit.:grin2:


I’ve been up for ages.
Going to get out of bed soon.


----------



## ReformedHubby

Diana7 said:


> Yes, being secure in yourself and who you are whatever body you have is the key. I honestly don't care what others think of me, my husband is the only one I care about. I just don't understand this need to work for a certain body type to get attention from the opposite sex. Seems very insecure to me. Also is that the sort of person we want to attract? Someone who is only interested in looks? There is so much more to attraction and a good healthy relationship than that.


Not sure if its your intent are not but this post comes across as very judgemental. The over whelming majority of people that are workout warriors are simply trying to be their best selves. Each one of us has a different definition of what our "best self" is. In some ways really in shape people are shamed for it at times. I can't stand the Planet Fitness ad campaign because it actually reinforces the stereo type that people that are in elite shape are pompous and self centered. The reality is most of these people are actually pretty cool, and more than happy to share pointers with those of us that are interested in improving ourselves. Its so weird. I feel like we are becoming a society of reverse fat shamers. 

I also think your post misses the spirit the OP intended in this thread. It wasn't intended to be some heavy handed thread, we have enough of those on TAM. It was meant to be fun. Its not a character flaw in a person just because they are attracted to a different body type, or want to have a different body type than your husband.


----------



## hope4family

On physicality, drive, sex, and performance. 

I primarily use social media for 2 things.

1) Post pics of my son for friends and family as he ages. (I am a single Dad, so it gives me the time to look back and see the adventure.) 

2) My cardio workouts. Which are in my mind participation trophies as being a single Dad means I have to work for every moment to sweat out my pours. 

Something to note though. More females comment, discuss, encourage, like, text, email, smoke signal, comment on my physical activity then my male friends. Although the fitness buff guys I have generally do respond. 

I think having an active lifestyle is an of itself an attractive quality. Maybe it doesn't turn them on per say. But that's not my intent of the post other then saying it has opened more conversation doors then it has ever closed. 


This thread has had me looking at a new set of dumbells as I only have 1 15 1 25 dumbbell right now lol. Since moving I haven't been able to do pullups either and my chest muscles are tiny now.


----------



## EllisRedding

hope4family said:


> Something to note though. More females comment, discuss, encourage, like, text, email, smoke signal, comment on my physical activity then my male friends. Although the fitness buff guys I have generally do respond.


I think this is more the reality


----------



## hope4family

EllisRedding said:


> I think this is more the reality


Quoted because it's both funny and true!


----------



## 269370

(null)

There must be something in between flab and skinniness surely, and it doesn’t have to be The Hulk?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## 269370

I used to lift weights in the past and haven’t actually noticed any increase in drive (which was always high). I noticed I had more headaches and felt kind of down for the rest of the day and next couple of days.

Cardio on the other hand seems much more uplifting. But I also don’t do enough of it.

What lifts my sex drive the most is just being around my wife and not have too much stress with stuff.

I was born with a decent/athletic physique and broad shoulders so luckily don’t have to do anything much to keep in shape. But I mostly do cardio, yoga, light exercises and meditation. Lifting weight somehow never really made me feel good. And I would not be able to tell if women found me more or less attractive if I had more muscle. (Is that not just imagination? Or do you come up to them and ask them what they think? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## EllisRedding

hope4family said:


> Quoted because it's both funny and true!


My W would always laugh at the random dudes who would just start a conversation with me over lol


----------



## ConanHub

inmyprime said:


> I used to lift weights in the past and haven’t actually noticed any increase in drive (which was always high). I noticed I had more headaches and felt kind of down for the rest of the day and next couple of days.
> 
> Cardio on the other hand seems much more uplifting. But I also don’t do enough of it.
> 
> What lifts my sex drive the most is just being around my wife and not have too much stress with stuff.
> 
> I was born with a decent/athletic physique and broad shoulders so luckily don’t have to do anything much to keep in shape. But I mostly do cardio, yoga, light exercises and meditation. Lifting weight somehow never really made me feel good. And I would not be able to tell if women found me more or less attractive if I had more muscle. (Is that not just imagination? Or do you come up to them and ask them what they think?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I get touched a lot, flirted with and I have had some unusual approaches like a cashier girl asked if she could check my pants to help me find some money I was looking for.


----------



## 269370

ConanHub said:


> I get touched a lot, flirted with and I have had some unusual approaches like a cashier girl asked if she could check my pants to help me find some money I was looking for.



Did she find some loose change? 

Is it maybe that you notice those approaches more, because you feel better about yourself?

I loose my change whether I go to the gym or not, so...no change there. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## 269370

ConanHub said:


> I get touched a lot,




Does sound a little creepy though...your wife ok with that?

More importantly: does your wife touch you more, in view of the fact that other women touch you more and look for money inside your pants?  


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ConanHub

inmyprime said:


> I used to lift weights in the past and haven’t actually noticed any increase in drive (which was always high). I noticed I had more headaches and felt kind of down for the rest of the day and next couple of days.
> 
> Cardio on the other hand seems much more uplifting. But I also don’t do enough of it.
> 
> What lifts my sex drive the most is just being around my wife and not have too much stress with stuff.
> 
> I was born with a decent/athletic physique and broad shoulders so luckily don’t have to do anything much to keep in shape. But I mostly do cardio, yoga, light exercises and meditation. Lifting weight somehow never really made me feel good. And I would not be able to tell if women found me more or less attractive if I had more muscle. (Is that not just imagination? Or do you come up to them and ask them what they think?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I get touched a lot and flirted with heavily even in some unusual ways like when a cashier asked if I wanted her to check my pants to help me look for misplaced money.


----------



## ConanHub

TAM is screwing up for me here.


----------



## ConanHub

inmyprime said:


> Does sound a little creepy though...your wife ok with that?
> 
> More importantly: does your wife touch you more, in view of the fact that other women touch you more and look for money inside your pants?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


She touches me all the time with permission.:grin2:

She is use to the reactions and often blocks, guards and runs interference for me.

When I am on my own, I mostly avoid getting too physically close to anyone.


----------



## ConanHub

inmyprime said:


> Did she find some loose change?
> 
> Is it maybe that you notice those approaches more, because you feel better about yourself?
> 
> I loose my change whether I go to the gym or not, so...no change there.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Fun wit.

I brought her up short by mentioning my wife handled my pants and she was embarrassed by her reaction. It has happened a lot. It seems almost like a reflex reaction in a lot of women and several men as well! LOL!>


----------



## ElCanario

Faithful Wife said:


> And PS...don’t skip leg day!


Every day is leg day. :smile2:


----------



## manwithnoname

ConanHub said:


> I get touched a lot and flirted with heavily even in some unusual ways like when a cashier asked if I wanted her to check my pants to help me look for misplaced money.


"One of the two big wads is cash, I just need to make sure I pull out the right one"


----------



## PigglyWiggly

ConanHub said:


> TAM is screwing up for me here.


You are so hawt that even the site wants to screw you lol


----------



## ConanHub

PigglyWiggly said:


> You are so hawt that even the site wants to screw you lol


You dumbass!! You just made me laugh out loud when I was busy getting my mad on!

I needed it! Thank you!:grin2:


----------



## TheCuriousWife

I like fit men and muscles. But actually "meat heads" or too big of muscles is a major turn off for me. It seems vain, and I always think "wow, just how much time do they have to spend in the gym daily to look like that?"

My husband is 6' and healthy. He doesn't have toned pecks, or a 6 pack but he still has tight curves, broad shoulders, and a solid body. It looks good without looking like all his free time is spent working out. Granted we both took this year off the gym due to too busy of schedules and we need to get back at it... 

I did find watching him work out be a turn on though. I like seeing the power, and if I'm honest hearing him groan/grunt made me think of other things. lol.

To each their own. I don't necessarily need bulging muscles, but being healthy is always sexy.


----------



## Randy Lafever

And they say pornography makes MEN have unrealistic expectations of a female body. Reading this thread demonstrates that women are just as mislead by media mis-representations of the male form.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Randy Lafever said:


> And they say pornography makes MEN have unrealistic expectations of a female body. Reading this thread demonstrates that women are just as mislead by media mis-representations of the male form.


Oh no, we aren’t misled. We are quite aware most men don’t look like models and athletes.


----------



## Randy Lafever

Faithful Wife said:


> Oh no, we aren’t misled. We are quite aware most men don’t look like models and athletes.


And men don't think most women look like porn stars. But we've all been brainwashed into wanting these unrealistic things. Women need to realize that these "working out" guys have psychological issues, it's called body dysmorphia, no different than a woman's eating disorder. 

They need us to help them, not to enable them.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Randy Lafever said:


> And men don't think most women look like porn stars. But we've all been brainwashed into wanting these unrealistic things. Women need to realize that these "working out" guys have psychological issues, it's called body dysmorphia, no different than a woman's eating disorder.
> 
> They need us to help them, not to enable them.


I totally agree about the ones who are literally suffering from various diseases and disorders. That’s sad.

But no women on this thread have indicated an attraction to men like that. We have been talking about healthy, yummy muscles on a well balanced man. That’s hot.


----------



## Randy Lafever

Faithful Wife said:


> I totally agree about the ones who are literally suffering from various diseases and disorders. That’s sad.
> 
> But no women on this thread have indicated an attraction to men like that. We have been talking about healthy, yummy muscles on a well balanced man. That’s hot.


That's the issue. There's nothing healthy about it, physically or mentally.

Think about it, they spend hours every week in strenuous activity, for what? What do they get out of it? And when will they be satisfied?

They won't. This is a never-ending spiral. They don't just work out for a couple of weeks and then end it. That could be forgiven. They will likely be engaging in this sort of behavior for the rest of their lives.

And then on top of it, their inner demons are cheered on by external ones.

The most inexplicable thing is that the sort of muscles you develop by working out are not really useful for anything but looking at. I know strong men, men who have worked on farms or in construction or in warehouses for thirty, forty years. They don't have a visible muscle on them. But for twelve hours a day they actually accomplish something worth while with their bodies. And where is the drooling over them?

Why on Earth would a woman be more impressed by a cosmetic affectation than an actual functioning human body?


----------



## Faithful Wife

Randy Lafever said:


> Why on Earth would a woman be more impressed by a cosmetic affectation than an actual functioning human body?


Because biology. Because men are attracted to hour glasses and women are attracted to upside down triangles.

If a woman’s waist exceeds her hips and breasts, she is no longer an hour glass. If a mans waist exceeds his shoulders and hips, he is no longer an upside down triangle. 

I’m not sure where you are getting your ideas about your average guy who works out. Most are not weird fiends about it, nor is it harmful to them. No woman here has said she is attracted to a roided out gym rat. We are talking about healthy men who work out and yeah, some of them work out and puff up muscles that don’t add strength. But they aren’t unhealthy, they just know chicks dig biceps. Sorry, but yes we love biceps.

As for the natural hard working strong guy....yum, I’m all about those guys too. But I lose my attraction to him or any guy in direct proportion to the size of his belly. So strong hard workers are sexy to me but not if they have a gut. Once you take away the upside down triangle, I’m not attracted. 

I’m speaking for myself in that last part.


----------



## Randy Lafever

Faithful Wife said:


> If a woman’s waist exceeds her hips and breasts, she is no longer an hour glass.


Wait, what's the difference between waist and hips? Are those not two names for the same body part?



> I’m not sure where you are getting your ideas about your average guy who works out. Most are not weird fiends about it, nor is it harmful to them.


Seems pretty harmful to me to exert energy and time on such a pointless endeavor. Some of these guys spend several hours a week on it. Don't you think they could accomplish more by getting a part time job to occupy their free time?



> As for the natural hard working strong guy....yum, I’m all about those guys too. But I lose my attraction to him or any guy in direct proportion to the size of his belly.


The size of the stomach has nothing to do with how strong they are, just how much food they eat. If you are going to cite biology you have to understand that you are attracted to strong guys because deep down you know you are safer from a saber tooth tiger or whatever with him around. Some weird triangle fetish doesn't satisfy that primal need.


----------



## BioFury

Randy Lafever said:


> Why on Earth would a woman be more impressed by a cosmetic affectation than an actual functioning human body?


The same reason we men are gob-smacked by a woman's "cosmetic affectation". Were you riveted to your wife's butt because it efficiently evacuated waste?


----------



## CatholicDad

Don't think we need to start bagging on the weightlifters... Some of us have geeky desk jobs and have no other means of keeping the little muscles we've got!

Couple hours per week in the gym ain't too bad....


----------



## Faithful Wife

Randy Lafever said:


> The size of the stomach has nothing to do with how strong they are, just how much food they eat. If you are going to cite biology you have to understand that you are attracted to strong guys because deep down you know you are safer from a saber tooth tiger or whatever with him around. Some weird triangle fetish doesn't satisfy that primal need.


Thank you for trying to mansplain what my primal desires are. Sorry but you are wrong. A gut makes me sad and turned off, whereas a nice trim waist and tight ass with broad shoulders and nice arms makes me growl and purrrrrr. Sure it’s because they need to protect me from tigers. That’s yummy too. But without the visual trigger of the triangle, I can see he’s not going to trigger my inner beast from a mile away.

Speaking for myself.


----------



## Randy Lafever

BioFury said:


> The same reason we men are gob-smacked by a woman's "cosmetic affectation". Were you riveted to your wife's butt because it efficiently evacuated waste?


I have never found my wife attractive. And anyway that wouldn't be an "affectation" because it was natural. An affectation is something you choose to do to yourself for appearance's sake.

I think a better analogy you might use is breast augmentation. But even that has been determined to be related to a woman's ability to breastfeed my children without them suffocating (for real, look it up).


----------



## Randy Lafever

CatholicDad said:


> Don't think we need to start bagging on the weightlifters... Some of us have geeky desk jobs and have no other means of keeping the little muscles we've got!
> 
> Couple hours per week in the gym ain't too bad....


If you are interested in maintaining your muscles in an honest way (and getting a better job) you should apply at an Amazon warehouse. There is likely one within a couple hours' drive of you and the pay/benefits are great (they start you around $12/hour and you get insurance and some paid time off). You spend ten to twelve hours a day on your feet, lifting objects of varying weights, rushing back and forth.


----------



## Faithful Wife

Randy Lafever said:


> I have never found my wife attractive.


Oh you’re that guy.

Yeah ok I can see why you don’t understand what I’m saying.


----------



## BioFury

Randy Lafever said:


> I have never found my wife attractive.


Ouch. Poor woman.

And poor you. You're really missing out.


----------



## Randy Lafever

BioFury said:


> Ouch. Poor woman.
> 
> And poor you. You're really missing out.


Well, what can I say. You do what you must for your children.


----------



## CatholicDad

Randy Lafever said:


> CatholicDad said:
> 
> 
> 
> Don't think we need to start bagging on the weightlifters... Some of us have geeky desk jobs and have no other means of keeping the little muscles we've got!
> 
> Couple hours per week in the gym ain't too bad....
> 
> 
> 
> If you are interested in maintaining your muscles in an honest way (and getting a better job) you should apply at an Amazon warehouse. There is likely one within a couple hours' drive of you and the pay/benefits are great (they start you around $12/hour and you get insurance and some paid time off). You spend ten to twelve hours a day on your feet, lifting objects of varying weights, rushing back and forth.
Click to expand...

My wife is super curvacious and hot so I'll keep my honest desk job (engineer) and twice per week weightlifting hobby. I make quadruple the job you mention and live 5 minutes from the office.

Chris Hemsworth (or insert favorite super hero character here) didn't get his muscles lifting boxes 😉 .


----------



## dadstartingover

"Are some men really that clueless when it comes to what is attractive in a man?" 

Yes.

I give you EXHIBIT A:



Randy Lafever said:


> That's the issue. There's nothing healthy about it, physically or mentally.
> 
> Think about it, they spend hours every week in strenuous activity, for what? What do they get out of it? And when will they be satisfied?
> 
> They won't. This is a never-ending spiral. They don't just work out for a couple of weeks and then end it. That could be forgiven. They will likely be engaging in this sort of behavior for the rest of their lives.
> 
> And then on top of it, their inner demons are cheered on by external ones.
> 
> The most inexplicable thing is that the sort of muscles you develop by working out are not really useful for anything but looking at. I know strong men, men who have worked on farms or in construction or in warehouses for thirty, forty years. They don't have a visible muscle on them. But for twelve hours a day they actually accomplish something worth while with their bodies. And where is the drooling over them?
> 
> Why on Earth would a woman be more impressed by a cosmetic affectation than an actual functioning human body?


----------



## personofinterest

You cannot expect someone emotional I unhealthy, devoid of emotional intelligence, and proud of both of these facts to think like a regular mainstream human being.


----------



## Andy1001

Randy Lafever said:


> Well, what can I say. You do what you must for your children.


Are you still hiding in a dark room and spending ten hours at a time in front of the computer?


----------



## Taxman

So I was never the guy who got second glances from women. I was grossly overweight, and had pretty crappy body image. After all of my health concerns and basically ten years of rebuilding my immune system, the weight started coming off. I went from basically 330 to now 195. Hitting the gym has really given me more confidence. In the bedroom, the confidence, mixed with stamina that comes with physical fitness, does absolute wonders. We have been in the perfect storm for now about three years, where her menopause is over, she is in marvelous physical shape, and I am now in the best shape of my life, so we have been acting like bunnies the last few years. It shows. There are other benefits to a few hours in the gym per week, like my A1c level is amazing. I discovered I was a type 2 diabetic in the middle of having my second heart attack. It took a decade to control it, but my morning readings are 5.0-5.8 mmol/l which is pretty damn good, and I am actively titrating my insulin down until I am no longer dependent.


----------



## Ragnar Ragnasson

dadstartingover said:


> "Are some men really that clueless when it comes to what is attractive in a man?"
> 
> Yes.
> 
> I give you EXHIBIT A:



Quote:
Originally Posted by Randy Lafever

That's the issue. There's nothing healthy about it, physically or mentally.

Think about it, they spend hours every week in strenuous activity, for what? What do they get out of it? And when will they be satisfied?

They won't. This is a never-ending spiral. They don't just work out for a couple of weeks and then end it. That could be forgiven. They will likely be engaging in this sort of behavior for the rest of their lives.

And then on top of it, their inner demons are cheered on by external ones.

The most inexplicable thing is that the sort of muscles you develop by working out are not really useful for anything but looking at. I know strong men, men who have worked on farms or in construction or in warehouses for thirty, forty years. They don't have a visible muscle on them. But for twelve hours a day they actually accomplish something worth while with their bodies. And where is the drooling over them?

Why on Earth would a woman be more impressed by a cosmetic affectation than an actual functioning human body?

@Randy

That's not true in most cases where your mentioned worker is strong and trim ie doesn't indulge in daily bbq, beer (nothing wrong with that), and too much home cookin.

I grew up in rural America on a farm and all the younger to 30 or 40 if the don't overeat are showing muscles all over if their work on the farm is loading, or in said warehouse loading all day.

I loaded watermelons, cropped tobacco, wrangled, and so did my friends and family. Muscular everyone. That's why no one messes with most ******** (who are good natured as a rule due to learning good manners and to appreciate family).

There are strong older men who "graduated" to just driving the tractor or supervise in the warehouses but the good eating isn't burned off and they get a pudgy overcoat.

I have friends who work at UPS. All the good loaders show muscles to a man or woman.

It's ridiculous to diminish good exercise in whatever the chosen activity. It's like staying you won't get sunburned when fishing in open crafts out on the ocean without sunscreen. 

One can say it all one likes. But you'll get burned nevertheless.

I work in IT. For a number if years I didn't eat right and didn't walk or exercise and my health and weight suffered. 

I made some minor adjustments and am back to college weight and form. Health numbers are back to normal.

It's not rocket science. But each to their own.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

Faithful Wife said:


> Oh you’re that guy.
> 
> Yeah ok I can see why you don’t understand what I’m saying.


He has stated he hasn't brushed his teeth in years so I'm assuming his wife doesn't find him attractive either. Sad.


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## MaiChi

I prefer athletic looking men than men clad in muscles. I like thin and proportionally built men whose nice clothes fit them well. Muscles nearly do nothing for me.


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## Randy Lafever

Andy1001 said:


> Are you still hiding in a dark room and spending ten hours at a time in front of the computer?


It's eighteen hours, and that is only when the family is visiting the in-laws for the weekend.



TheCuriousWife said:


> He has stated he hasn't brushed his teeth in years so I'm assuming his wife doesn't find him attractive either. Sad.


She doesn't seem to have noticed that, but of course, she doesn't find me attractive. I never in a million years would expect her to. Let's be honest here: very few of your wives/husbands DO find you attractive after the initial rose-colored glow wears off.


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## Andy1001

Randy here is the best piece of relationship advice any man can get. 
Don’t be the type of man a woman wants to cheat on. 
Be the type of man she would want to cheat with.


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## 269370

TheCuriousWife said:


> I like seeing the power, and if I'm honest hearing him strain/grunt made me think of other things. lol.



Constipation? 🤫



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## TheCuriousWife

I find my husband very very smoking attractive and he has been my one and only for nearly 11 years now...

I sure hope/think he finds me attractive too. He tells and shows me so.

I could pretty much worship any part of his body. But lets be honest here, cleanliness is next to godliness and thank goodness he is great at personal grooming and self care. Nothing is a turn off faster than dirty/smelly bodies or bad breath. 

You seem to be lacking basic knowledge about attraction. #1 priority is taking care of yourself.


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## TheCuriousWife

inmyprime said:


> Constipation? &#55358;&#56619;


>>

I guess groan would be a more appropriate word than strain. lol.


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## 269370

TheCuriousWife said:


> I find my husband very very smoking attractive and he has been my one and only for nearly 11 years now...
> 
> 
> 
> I sure hope/think he finds me attractive too. He tells and shows me so.
> 
> 
> 
> I could pretty much worship any part of his body. But lets be honest here, cleanliness is next to godliness and thank goodness he is great at personal grooming and self care. Nothing is a turn off faster than dirty/smelly bodies or bad breath.
> 
> 
> 
> You seem to be lacking basic knowledge about attraction. #1 priority is taking care of yourself.




If your husband lost some of his muscle and gained a bit of weight instead, would your attraction go down a bit/a lot/completely?

I’m curious what the correlation is. I thought for women the correlation between looks and attraction is not as strong as for men (I could be totally wrong, please don’t take it as a mansplanation).

However I am possibly an exception: my wife looked slightly more fuller/curvaceous before we had kids, put on a bit of weight during kids and now very slim/toned, possibly a little underweight.
I found her extremely attractive in all stages. Especially when pregnant. Somehow, a woman looks amazingly beautiful to me when she is pregnant and my wife rely suited it...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Randy Lafever

Andy1001 said:


> Randy here is the best piece of relationship advice any man can get.
> Don’t be the type of man a woman wants to cheat on.
> Be the type of man she would want to cheat with.


Unfortunately, how we are is completely out of our control.



TheCuriousWife said:


> You seem to be lacking basic knowledge about attraction. #1 priority is taking care of yourself.


I am lacking in basic knowledge about pretty much all of the human experience. It has been described as a "debilitating case of arrested emotional development" by professionals.


----------



## Andy1001

inmyprime said:


> TheCuriousWife said:
> 
> 
> 
> I find my husband very very smoking attractive and he has been my one and only for nearly 11 years now...
> 
> 
> 
> I sure hope/think he finds me attractive too. He tells and shows me so.
> 
> 
> 
> I could pretty much worship any part of his body. But lets be honest here, cleanliness is next to godliness and thank goodness he is great at personal grooming and self care. Nothing is a turn off faster than dirty/smelly bodies or bad breath.
> 
> 
> 
> You seem to be lacking basic knowledge about attraction. #1 priority is taking care of yourself.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I’m curious what the correlation is. I thought for women the correlation between looks and attraction is not as strong as for men (I could be totally wrong, please don’t take it as a mansplanation.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

That idea is up there with “size doesn’t matter” and “The checks in the post”.


----------



## TheCuriousWife

inmyprime said:


> If your husband lost some of his muscle and gained a bit of weight instead, would your attraction go down a bit/a lot/completely?
> 
> I’m curious what the correlation is. I thought for women the correlation between looks and attraction is not as strong as for men (I could be totally wrong, please don’t take it as a mansplanation).
> 
> However I am possibly an exception: my wife looked slightly more fuller/curvaceous before we had kids, put on a bit of weight during kids and now very slim/toned, possibly a little underweight.
> I found her extremely attractive in all stages. Especially when pregnant. Somehow, a woman looks amazingly beautiful to me when she is pregnant and my wife rely suited it...


We stopped going to the gym this year so he lost some muscle and gained some weight. It has not affected my attraction to him at all.

That said, if he sat on the couch all day and ate chips and weighed 300 pounds it would kill my attraction. He is neither lazy or unhealthy right now. Just not as toned as he used to be. 

I on the other hand have gained 40 pounds since our marriage, and I gained 30 pounds in the 2 years before that.  I was quite scrawny before so I am in no way obese now, but it still affects my self image. Husband hasn't complained and is actually quite happy that I have real boobs now. I have always been a flat chested string bean. Being chubby is an adjustment to me. I would like to loose about 20 pounds, but not be as skinny as I used to be.


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## 269370

TheCuriousWife said:


> We stopped going to the gym this year so he lost some muscle and gained some weight. It has not affected my attraction to him at all.
> 
> 
> 
> That said, if he sat on the couch all day and ate chips and weighed 300 pounds it would kill my attraction. He is neither lazy or unhealthy right now. Just not as toned as he used to be.
> 
> 
> 
> I on the other hand have gained 40 pounds since our marriage, and I gained 30 pounds in the 2 years before that.  I was quite scrawny before so I am in no way obese now, but it still affects my self image. Husband hasn't complained and is actually quite happy that I have real boobs now. I have always been a flat chested string bean. Being chubby is an adjustment to me. I would like to loose about 20 pounds, but not be as skinny as I used to be.




Is it the laziness & sitting around or the weight gain that would kill the attraction?

It’s the reason I was never that keen building too much muscle mass as it converts to fat if you don’t work out for a couple of week.
Prefer staying toned & lean etc.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## dadstartingover

inmyprime said:


> Is it the laziness & sitting around or the weight gain that would kill the attraction?
> 
> It’s the reason I was never that keen building too much muscle mass as it converts to fat if you don’t work out for a couple of week.
> Prefer staying toned & lean etc.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Muscle does not convert to fat. 

If you're a bodybuilder and take drugs and workout like crazy and eat 6k calories a day and then STOP working out and keep eating... yes, you will get fat.


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## Taxman

What do I get from the gym? To be perfectly honest, a great deal. First, I was severely obese, I could not walk very far without being winded. I sprint now. I no longer am out of breath from climbing the stairs. My wife is no longer terrified of being awakened by me (first heart attack, I shook her awake, to ask her to call the ambulance; second heart attack, I called her from my office at 9AM on a Sunday to tell her the paramedics were on their way). I get to look in the mirror and see a better looking guy, someone with more confidence than I have had in decades. I had low level depression for pretty much all of my life, and the endorphin release during exercise knocks the crap out of depression. I take more of an interest in my health and general well being. I intend on being around for my future grandchildren, and if the price I have to pay is an hour or two every other day sweating, farting and grunting, then so be it. PS, the benefits in the bedroom are too long to even list here, but that is a price I am so willing to pay, tis not funny.


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## 269370

dadstartingover said:


> Muscle does not convert to fat.
> 
> 
> 
> If you're a bodybuilder and take drugs and workout like crazy and eat 6k calories a day and then STOP working out and keep eating... yes, you will get fat.




Then why do all the retired bodybuilders have tits?


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## dadstartingover

inmyprime said:


> Then why do all the retired bodybuilders have tits?


They don't.


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## 269370

dadstartingover said:


> They don't.



Those probably wear sports bras so you can’t tell 


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## aine

Building muscles can produce testosterone so can that help with ED?


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## ConanHub

aine said:


> Building muscles can produce testosterone so can that help with ED?


Yes. Absolutely!


----------



## PigglyWiggly

My wife loves to go to the gym. She has a mentally taxing job and she needs the workout to unwind. She loves to jog for the same reason. I find things like jogging incredible boring and need to be stimulated mentally. I work a physically demanding job so that seems to be the difference for us.


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## Rocky Mountain Yeti

inmyprime said:


> Is it the laziness & sitting around or the weight gain that would kill the attraction?
> 
> It’s the reason I was never that keen building too much muscle mass as it converts to fat if you don’t work out for a couple of week.
> Prefer staying toned & lean etc.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


It is a myth that muscle converts to fat. In fact, it's physiologically impossible.

The problem is that when muscleheads quit lifting, they usually keep eating like a bodybuilder, which when not lifting means an excess of calories. So while their muscle mass is dissipating due to atrophy, they are simultaneously adding fat. Independent of the muscle loss. So it may _appear_ that muscle is turning to fat.


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## 269370

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> It is a myth that muscle converts to fat. In fact, it's physiologically impossible.
> 
> 
> 
> The problem is that when muscleheads quit lifting, they usually keep eating like a bodybuilder, which when not lifting means an excess of calories. So while their muscle mass is dissipating due to atrophy, they are simultaneously adding fat. Independent of the muscle loss. So it may _appear_ that muscle is turning to fat.



Ah ok. But the end result is the same, no? 
And what about stretched skin? If you stop eating weights AND stop eating (as much), doesn’t the skin start hanging down like curtains? 
You can’t lift weights into oblivion, as in forever. It always seemed to me that deviating from your ‘original built’ seems like too much risk and not really necessary to be healthy... 


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## EllisRedding

inmyprime said:


> And what about stretched skin? If you stop eating weights AND stop eating (as much), doesn’t the skin start hanging down like curtains?
> You can’t lift weights into oblivion, as in forever. It always seemed to me that deviating from your ‘original built’ seems like too much risk and not really necessary to be healthy...


----------



## ConanHub

EllisRedding said:


>


Looks good on paper?

:surprise:


----------



## Andy1001

inmyprime said:


> Ah ok. But the end result is the same, no?
> And what about stretched skin? If you stop eating weights AND stop eating (as much), doesn’t the skin start hanging down like curtains?
> You can’t lift weights into oblivion, as in forever. It always seemed to me that deviating from your ‘original built’ seems like too much risk and not really necessary to be healthy...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Well if you EAT weights you should expect your skin to sag>:rofl:


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

inmyprime said:


> Ah ok. But the end result is the same, no?
> And what about stretched skin? If you stop eating weights AND stop eating (as much), doesn’t the skin start hanging down like curtains?
> You can’t lift weights into oblivion, as in forever. It always seemed to me that deviating from your ‘original built’ seems like too much risk and not really necessary to be healthy...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


The result is only the same if you let it be the same.

As someone who was 235 lbs of massive muscle, and then dropped to 190 lean pounds, I can say I had no problem with stretched skin. Maybe in more extreme cases? I don't know. but not all weightlifters attain Schwarzennegger like proportions.


----------



## ConanHub

inmyprime said:


> Ah ok. But the end result is the same, no?
> And what about stretched skin? If you stop eating weights AND stop eating (as much), doesn’t the skin start hanging down like curtains?
> You can’t lift weights into oblivion, as in forever. It always seemed to me that deviating from your ‘original built’ seems like too much risk and not really necessary to be healthy...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Ok. You just don't have information about this.

Eating weights aside, I have lifted since age 13 and weighed as much as 230 and as little as 170 since high school.

My skin has never hung or been loose. You are thinking about less healthy and very fat people who lose weight quickly, usually due to some form of gastric bypass.


----------



## 269370

ConanHub said:


> Ok. You just don't have information about this.
> 
> 
> 
> Eating weights aside, I have lifted since age 13 and weighed as much as 230 and as little as 170 since high school.
> 
> 
> 
> My skin has never hung or been loose. You are thinking about less healthy and very fat people who lose weight quickly, usually due to some form of gastric bypass.




Possibly. But articles like these are not very inspiring! http://boredombash.com/bodybuilders-what-they-look-like-now/


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## BigDigg

Rocky Mountain Yeti said:


> As someone who was 235 lbs of massive muscle, and then dropped to 190 lean pounds


Hey RMY - curious - why did you decide to drop to 190 from 235? Conscious decision or just didn't have the time/desire to maintain? I'm trying to decide where I want to end up and being 6'2" with a pretty broad frame could go either way. I'd like to be about 210 @ sub 14% but this thread and a recent comment my wife made have me thinking. Wife told me yesterday that my arms and shoulders/neck were getting too big and that she wasn't attracted to 'Jersey Shore' type guys (her words - not mine - apologies for any Jersey-ites here). Of course then she proceeded to paw at them the entire time we were having sex. So i dunno? 

Course I'm not basing this entirely on what she wants and I think this might have more to do with her not wanting me to attract any attention (which is silly and not my goal or style or a real worry for her). Thoughts on Pro's/Con's of both 'sizes'?


----------



## EllisRedding

inmyprime said:


> Possibly. But articles like these are not very inspiring! Meet 15 Former Bodybuilders Who Changed Unbelievably! | BoredomBash
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Keep in mind, you are posting about professional bodybuilders. This is so far from the norm of what even a muscular male would look like. In addition, there is heavy drug use with these guys, so the size they achieve is in no way natural (also the reason why you see their extended guts and boobs). I don't think anyone in this thread is talking about these types of muscles or builds.


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

BigDigg said:


> Hey RMY - curious - why did you decide to drop to 190 from 235? Conscious decision or just didn't have the time/desire to maintain? I'm trying to decide where I want to end up and being 6'2" with a pretty broad frame could go either way. I'd like to be about 210 @ sub 14% but this thread and a recent comment my wife made have me thinking. Wife told me yesterday that my arms and shoulders/neck were getting too big and that she wasn't attracted to 'Jersey Shore' type guys (her words - not mine - apologies for any Jersey-ites here). Of course then she proceeded to paw at them the entire time we were having sex. So i dunno?
> 
> Course I'm not basing this entirely on what she wants and I think this might have more to do with her not wanting me to attract any attention (which is silly and not my goal or style or a real worry for her). Thoughts on Pro's/Con's of both 'sizes'?


The last time I was 235, I wasn't particularly fit, so it wasn't all just muscle. But the real drive was two fold:
1. A drop in body weight, even if it is mostly muscle, can be healthy, and in in my case was advised both to assist in my blood pressure and sleep apnea management.
2. I had shifted my goals from bodybuilding accomplishments to mountain biking accomplishments, and hauling 40 less pounds up 3,000ft climbs was going to be a whole lot easier.


----------



## EllisRedding

BigDigg said:


> Hey RMY - curious - why did you decide to drop to 190 from 235? Conscious decision or just didn't have the time/desire to maintain? I'm trying to decide where I want to end up and being 6'2" with a pretty broad frame could go either way. I'd like to be about 210 @ sub 14% but this thread and a recent comment my wife made have me thinking. Wife told me yesterday that my arms and shoulders/neck were getting too big and that she wasn't attracted to 'Jersey Shore' type guys (her words - not mine - apologies for any Jersey-ites here). Of course then she proceeded to paw at them the entire time we were having sex. So i dunno?
> 
> Course I'm not basing this entirely on what she wants and I think this might have more to do with her not wanting me to attract any attention (which is silly and not my goal or style or a real worry for her). Thoughts on Pro's/Con's of both 'sizes'?


There is a point where you get to a size that just isn't comfortable, even if mostly muscle. I've ranged from about 180lbs to 220lbs (where I am now, been slightly heavier). Even though I am very muscular, I am starting to want to actually drop my weight down to maybe closer to 200lbs. I can definitely feel the weight on my joints, flexibility becomes more of an issue, finding clothes that fit right becomes a challenge (especially in this world of skinny jeans!). Funny enough as well, from a work standpoint I don't like looking big when meeting with clients


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## 269370

ConanHub said:


> Ok. You just don't have information about this.
> 
> 
> 
> Eating weights aside, I have lifted since age 13 and weighed as much as 230 and as little as 170 since high school.
> 
> 
> 
> My skin has never hung or been loose. You are thinking about less healthy and very fat people who lose weight quickly, usually due to some form of gastric bypass.




Crap. My weight was always around 150-160lb (I’m 6 foot tall). I even have couple of muscles.. But I could never bulk up properly (body-builder type of bulk up). 


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## ConanHub

inmyprime said:


> Crap. My weight was always around 150-160lb (I’m 6 foot tall). I even have couple of muscles.. But I could never bulk up properly (body-builder type of bulk up).
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Yeah. I've had several friends that had a hard time putting mass on. It can be done but it takes getting your metabolism to change.


----------



## Rocky Mountain Yeti

ConanHub said:


> Yeah. I've had several friends that had a hard time putting mass on. It can be done but it takes getting your metabolism to change.


I was one of those guys for years. No matter what I did, I couldn't gain (good or bad) weight. Then, inexplicably, in my late 20s, my body just exploded (in a good way).

Funny thing:
There were a bunch of us guys in a collaborative team in a bullpen/cubicle environment. We were all about the same size at the time (all between 190 and 210). All the rest of the guys were trying to maintain a healthy weight, while I was trying to gain. There was a blow up killer whale "Shamu" our boss got from a family trip to Sea World. We'd all weigh in at the beginning of the month and whoever was heaviest got the whale hung over his cubicle as a sign of shame. But I actually wanted the Shamu. When I finally got it, I was quite pleased. Kinda' defeated the purpose for the rest of the guys and when I displayed Shamu with pride, that was the end of that little bit of office jocularity.


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## 269370

ConanHub said:


> Yeah. I've had several friends that had a hard time putting mass on. It can be done but it takes getting your metabolism to change.



I used to eat this protein powder stuff. That made me quite sick. And generally, after every workout, I didn’t feel energised but felt ill with a massive headache....
Yeah I know. I will probably be the guy picking up soap in prison showers...

I always dreamed (and still dream) of having bigger biceps/arms though. I think I will have to keep dreaming. Whenever I meet a guy with big arms, I really want him to give me a cuddle (not in a sexual way).   


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## RandomDude

inmyprime said:


> I used to eat this protein powder stuff. That made me quite sick. And generally, after every workout, I didn’t feel energised but felt ill with a massive headache....
> Yeah I know. I will probably be the guy picking up soap in prison showers...
> 
> I always dreamed (and still dream) of having bigger biceps/arms though. I think I will have to keep dreaming. Whenever I meet a guy with big arms, I really want him to give me a cuddle (not in a sexual way).


Eat more often rather than just more per meal, aka 5 meals a day not 3 big meals a day. Work out later at night not in morning. Just work around your metabolism. My cousin was 6'5 and 120 kg of serious Mongol muscle, and he has a fast metabolism. Well, he was... until he got on ice and became a giant stick.


----------

