# wife left after 29 years of marriage



## marks (Jun 8, 2009)

hi looking for some help here my wife got feed up with all my lies about the money and no i realy dont know where the money went i selfish and i know i havent been a good husband we went to a counslor for the first time today and for my ass i need to give her some space i have lost here trust how do i get it back please help


----------



## marks (Jun 8, 2009)

ps i realy love her vary much and i need her in my life


----------



## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

marks said:


> ps i realy love her vary much and i need her in my life


Sorry, but I think you either LOVE or NEED someone, not both. You need her--meaing you use her to prop up your self-image? Maybe a LOT Of counseling, to find out why you lie (and I suspect you are lying to us, and to yourself, and you do know what you did with the $$$$ etc). MAYBE if you do everything she asks you to do for the next few years, she'll learn to trust you again--but years of lying? I suspect she is DONE and has found enough courage to stand up for herself and go it alone. I know this is harsh, but better to face up to the damage you have done, get the help you need, and move on, than to try to get her to come back (which isn't likely, I'll bet) and find yourself back in the same spot 2-3 years from now.


----------



## swedish (Mar 6, 2008)

What is more important to you? Getting your wife back, or seeing your wife happy, with or without you? If it is seeing her happy, don't try to force your way back. Keep up with counseling and be honest with yourself as to why you chose to lie to her over the years. The best place to start is with yourself.


----------



## marks (Jun 8, 2009)

i agree with the coments i am working on the problems and im starting to fell good about what i am doing i hope we can get back and yes i love my wife very much i love her more then i need her sister it is very harsh but im willing to do the things i need to do to change it im going to budget counling and we are going to a lot more councling in the futuer thanks for the help


----------



## mjr810 (Aug 24, 2008)

sisters359 said:


> Sorry, but I think you either LOVE or NEED someone, not both. /QUOTE]
> 
> Sister, this is one of those one-liners that say more in a few words than you find in entire books.
> 
> Good show.


----------

