# does your dh/so know you talk on here?



## Belle_Saint (Mar 10, 2014)

I fessed up to DH the other night that I have been seeking support online, but I didn't tell him the site. I haven't told him what site or my username and my password is unlike anything I use. I'm not hiding anything, I just feel like I need a place that's my own....you know?

Anyway, just wondering if your husbands/SO know you post here.


----------



## ConanHub (Aug 9, 2013)

If this is ladies only, sorry. My wife knows and sometimes disapproves but I invite her to take part. She is shy so she has declined so far. Our marriage has benefitted from TAM however and she likes the results.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jld (Dec 1, 2013)

Yes, he knows. He reads here, too. We both feel like we have learned a lot.

I know my expectations of him are higher than before I started reading here. I guess I did not realize I could expect more. And our marriage was already pretty good. TAM helps you see how it can be even better.

Someone said that TAM is intense therapy. So true. I think it would takes months and months of counseling to get where TAM can get you in days or weeks. Sheesh, maybe hours, lol.


----------



## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

He knows and if my threads are too personal he will ask me to delete them.Which,I'm fine with doing after a day or so anyway bc I usually feel better and get plenty of views in a short amount of time.


----------



## Giro flee (Mar 12, 2013)

My husband reads here as well. I don't think I've seen him post. 

Our marriage is in a great place right now. If I had come here for help many years ago when we were struggling I don't think I would have told him about this site until after our problems had been resolved. I think we would have just looked for people who sided with us and our problems would have continued.


----------



## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

My H knows. He is okay with it as long as I remain anonymous and don't trade phone numbers or emails or say where we live. He's kind of paranoid - or maybe not in this day and age.

He does, however, roll his eyes everytime I mention something about TAM or even ask him a question that has been posed on TAM. He posted on here once under my log in but it was only to out me in a joking way.


----------



## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

I think its best they don't know. That way you can keep it your dirty little secret.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Y5-XW1EijJw/S47HfFYAnQI/AAAAAAAAArQ/o4br9YlnFAE/s1600/creepy+smiley+face
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## NobodySpecial (Nov 22, 2013)

Yes.


----------



## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Yes. He knows I post here. He knows my username here. He jokes about this place. He's never going to post here. Relationship boards with a pink background isn't his thing.


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

Yes, he knows I post here and has browsed some of the threads himself. He refers to TAM as: "Talk About Misogyny" and doesn't really approve of me being here.


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

Belle_Saint said:


> I fessed up to DH the other night that I have been seeking support online, but I didn't tell him the site. I haven't told him what site or my username and my password is unlike anything I use. I'm not hiding anything, I just feel like I need a place that's my own....you know?
> 
> Anyway, just wondering if your husbands/SO know you post here.


Mine does not.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Coffee Amore said:


> Yes. He knows I post here. He knows my username here. He jokes about this place. He's never going to post here. Relationship boards with a pink background isn't his thing.


What does that say about me?


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Yes, Mrs Wysh knows I post here, she knows my password as she does to everything.

I often show her stuff that I post or other people have posted.

She has posted once to 'defend' me but has no interest otherwise as she finds the alpha stuff to just be annoying bull doo doos.


----------



## over20 (Nov 15, 2013)

Yes my DH knows.


----------



## Cloaked (Sep 15, 2013)

WyshIknew said:


> Yes, Mrs Wysh knows I post here, she knows my password as she does to everything.
> 
> I often show her stuff that I post or other people have posted.
> 
> She has posted once to 'defend' me but has no interest otherwise as she finds the alpha stuff to just be annoying bull doo doos.


Alpha stuff?http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20071005150326/powerrangers/images/7/79/Alpha_5.jpg
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## southern wife (Jul 22, 2011)

WyshIknew said:


> What does that say about me?


It says that you care about your relationship/marriage.



And you like pink!  :rofl:


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

southern wife said:


> It says that you care about your relationship/marriage.
> 
> 
> 
> And you like pink!  :rofl:


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> Yes, Mrs Wysh knows I post here, she knows my password as she does to everything.
> 
> I often show her stuff that I post or other people have posted.
> 
> She has posted once to 'defend' me but has no interest otherwise as she finds the alpha stuff to just be annoying bull doo doos.


Since Adex left, the alpha threads just aren't entertaining anymore. My SO still slaps me on the butt, tells me "well done" and to go make him a "sammich." Just to let me know he's boss


----------



## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

My husband knows I post online on this site. 

He was not happy in the beginning about it, but has started to come around. He knows I'm looking to help fix our marriage.


----------



## alte Dame (Aug 7, 2012)

My H knows and is at best bemused by it. He doesn't at all like the idea that I might drop the anonymity with anyone. I can understand his concern.


----------



## lace5262 (Oct 13, 2010)

My H knows. I sometimes read him stuff, but forums aren't really his thing.


----------



## TheCuriousWife (Jan 28, 2013)

He does not know. 

I'd like him to, but he would not approve (for no good reason) and I need the TAM support. Maybe some day....

Honestly I'd love if he was on here and got help too.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> Since Adex left, the alpha threads just aren't entertaining anymore. My SO still slap me on the butt, tells me "well done" and to go make him a "sammich." Just to let me know he's boss


And so he should!

I hope you git to it straight away.

He says "well done"? :rofl:


----------



## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

My wife knows. Nothing to hide, after all. I'll tell her about threads, or show her a particularly interesting one. She likes the site very much, enjoys the excellent conversations it leads to between us, but would never join (message boards have never been her thing). 

There's certain things which have been talked about on here, articles we come across, and especially how certain scenarios play out over and over again, that she feels like it's been extremely educational. Feels like her eyes have really been opened, and for the better.


----------



## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

Yep. My husband knows because he set up my account for me. He joined a month or so before I did. He hasn't posted in a while but we both read daily. Sometimes he will text me about a thread to read and we will just go back and forth talking about it all day. 


Sometimes I forget tam is pink, it's black with orange to me, and before that it was black with blue.


----------



## DanglingDaisy (Mar 26, 2012)

Mine doesn't know I'm back on here again. 

I personally appreciate the support here and knowing I'm not alone when I'm feeling lonely


----------



## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

My very 1st posting here was about my husband and my wanting him to be more dominant in bed.. he already knew all of this.. I shared with him day 1...we read the replies together.. I've always been Mrs Transparency... I couldn't swing with a spouse who didn't appreciate that quality... 

Sure we had a little rough spot -when my drive was 3 times higher than his..(a little frustration there!)... we worked through it together, came out on top of it... he's very easy to get along with.. and happily allows for my openness on TAM...he even joined & leaves a very short post once in a while...where I could write a book, he struggles with a sentence.. but adore him for wanting to be a part.. we often talk openly about different scenarios I read on here...


----------



## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

WyshIknew said:


> And so he should!
> 
> I hope you git to it straight away.
> 
> He says "well done"? :rofl:


Yes, according to Adex it's the alpha thing to do, donchaknow


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Cosmos said:


> Yes, according to Adex it's the alpha thing to do, donchaknow


Yes I remember.

Wasn't it after oral sex?


"Well done" :rofl:


----------



## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

yep she knows and occasionally posts but it is rare.


----------



## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

Yes he knows but he doesn't use the internet anymore.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## delirium (Apr 23, 2012)

Yes, he knows. How could he not? I'm here browsing pretty much all day long, hahaha. But I think he feels similar to coffee_amore's husband, it's just not his thing.


----------



## EntirelyDifferent (Nov 30, 2012)

He knows about it, because sometimes I use discussions here as topics for discussions with him, but he doesn't post here himself.
I'm not even sure he knows my username.


----------



## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

He knows that I post here and I often do so in front of him. He doesn't post here or read here himself. A small part of me wishes he would. However, I mostly just want this site to be "my thing". I joined this site after I had a Dday and needed support in the CWI section because of his infidelity. This place is kind of like a diary or IC to me. I can't stop him from logging in here but haven't invited him to join either though he's free to do so.


----------



## Philat (Sep 12, 2013)

Male responder here. My W knows I'm here (I showed her my threads) but is at best ambivalent about it. She once said she thinks it makes me "hold on to the hurt" to be here.


----------



## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

Philat said:


> Male responder here. My W knows I'm here (I showed her my threads) but is at best ambivalent about it. She once said she thinks it makes me "hold on to the hurt" to be here.


Yes.

I was asked not to go on CWI as "you tend to read stuff on there and imagine things that didn't happen."


----------



## Devotee (Sep 22, 2013)

My H knows I come on this forum with the intent at trying to work through issues. But honestly and sadly, I wish he did not know. Then I could post more openly.


----------



## FizzBomb (Dec 31, 2013)

I doubt that he knows I post on here. He probably knows I read on here. (Shrugs shoulders) I don't really care one way or the other. He's not the type to be into relationship forums.

I would be super shocked if he signed up to a forum like this and started posting and then discussing threads with me. It would be great if he did though, because it would open up more dialogue between us. Especially the Sex in Marriage topics. He's more the 'silent' type when it comes to communication in our marriage.


----------



## CharlotteMcdougall (Mar 15, 2014)

Cosmos said:


> Yes, he knows I post here and has browsed some of the threads himself. He refers to TAM as: "Talk About Misogyny" and doesn't really approve of me being here.


Why does your husband think that TAM is misogynistic?


----------



## Thunder7 (Jan 2, 2013)

My wife doesn't know about TAM, or that I'm a participant. The initial reason I joined was because of something that was my issue that I didn't want to make her issue, too. So, if I told her about it, and gave her access to my old posts, then it would become her issue. I'm sure one of the first questions would be, 'why did you join TAM?'. And, the beans would be spilled and unnecessary conflict would be brought into our marriage.


----------



## pierrematoe (Sep 6, 2013)

No my wife does not know. Although it may come out at some point


----------



## Browneyedgurl020610 (Apr 18, 2012)

He knows. Sometimes I seek help or advice, but mostly I like to put my input and help others. Sometimes he wonders if we are OK when he sees me on the site. I tell him everything, but sometimes it's still nice to get other people's opinions on the issue.


----------

