# Children keeping family together after divorce



## brokencovenant (Oct 2, 2011)

Do you really feel like the spouse who left her marriage and filed for divorce, breaking up her family and devestating her kids for life should demand contact time with her kids? My wife left our 22 year marriage. Our kids 16 and 20 have cut her off totally. I was so absolutly loyal to her. It was devestating when she filed for divorce without any possiblity of reconcilliation. Our kids responded. The kids have kept our family together by not following her into her divorced world. But, when I read about kids of divore it keeps talking about how aweful it is that kids cut off a parent. The kids are not rebelling. They are taking a stand against divorce.


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## cherokee96red (Apr 23, 2011)

Married for 23 years, H "disconnected" and left back in Feb/March. H is shacked up with OW in another state. H insists that the OW is not the reason our marriage is in the trash. Our son is 24 and getting married in about a week, daughter turned 18 over the summer. Both are in contact with their Dad but on their terms. H said to me recently that he wanted me to tell DD that she should talk to him (on the phone). She texts more than she talks. Told him that, for the most part, is what teenagers do. I can't/won't tell her or her brother how they should feel or communicate with H. They have to process this in their own way way. H removed himself from all our lives, picked up and moved to another state. I have stepped back in this issue, he has to deal with the consequences of his choices. I will not influence them either way. I am saddened by the possibility that he will be nothing more than a voice on the phone to his kids and the grandchild that will be here next April. Hope this will be worth it to him.


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## brokencovenant (Oct 2, 2011)

It is difficult to watch a spouse disconnect and walk away from a marriage, at any cost to family. The deception out there is that the walk away spouse should have contact with the kids for the kids sake. I am starting to believe that is a bunch of psycho crap to help people obtain divorce. Bi-nuclear families, blended family because of divorce, and co-parenting outside of marriage is to help the walk away spouse feel like things will be normal for them. Family structure is what keeps the kid's feeling like they belong. Watching kids bounce back and forth between homes and "visiting" parents is so damaging. I am developing a strong opinion on this topic. It is not an issue for me, but I read and hear about kids not feeling like they belong. Keep 1 family - 1 faith - 1 family structure - 1 home - 1 home. The walk away, walked away into a new culture and lifestyle. Why follow?


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