# Prom etc



## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

My kids are young so I haven't had this experience up close yet, but I keep seeing pics and vids of high school boys going through very elaborate presentations to ask a girl to Prom / Homecoming etc. The ones I've seen include posters held by the guy and his friends, sometimes a choreographed presentation, sometimes singing and dancing, flowers etc. I'm 49 and looking back on my high school days, this type of thing was unimaginable and probably would have gotten the guy laughed out of the school. Can anyone tell me where this new protocol comes from? It reminds me of a wedding proposal and, well just seems weird...


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## Anonymous07 (Aug 4, 2012)

I don't think it's all that popular of a thing to do, but it's just widely publicized when it does happen. It's just a sweet way of asking the girl to a dance. The girls love it, so the guy is more popular with the girls and other guys follow suit. I don't see an issue with it, if the guy wants to do that. Most guys don't do that elaborate of an event though to ask a girl to the prom or other dance.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

Yes, the guys are pressured to make a big thing out of asking a girl to the prom. I least it is here where I live. I kind of think it's silly. 

One guy had my daughter go through a scavenger hunt through town and at the final destination he was there with flowers.

My son is going to his prom in a week. He asked his girlfriend in a nice, cute way, not it any over the top.


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## SpinDaddy (Nov 12, 2012)

We did silly things like that – early 1980’s.

One disturbing trend I see here in SE Texas, and it absolutely will not happen here in the Spin household, is kids getting a hotel room or a beach house for the after prom celebration.


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## coffee4me (Feb 6, 2013)

This is the norm at my sons high school. He's done this 3 times already and had an elaborate invite given to him for Sadie's. 

His friends are always at my house and the invites include, flowers, posters, cakes, songs and additional friends to hold up the posters. Very elaborate, often sweet and some are quite creative. 

I have no idea how or when it started as was the standard when he arrived in high school. 

The actual protocol is also different when it comes to actually going to the dance. Many girls pay their own ticket, prom tickets cost about $100 per person. Not all guys buy corsages, girls never buy boutonnières and nobody knows how to pin them on including most parents. 

I'm old fashioned I taught my son to pay for everything including pics at the dance.


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## Mr. Nail (Apr 26, 2011)

I agree it's over the top but Here are some reasons for it.

Prom is just a practice wedding for the girls anyway, might as well have a practice proposal.

These guys are going to go out on one or two dates the whole year so there is plenty of money for the ask.

Asking is more fun than the dance.
MN


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## Sandie (Mar 31, 2015)

One thing is the same! What happens on prom night stays on prom night!

Or something like that


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

It goes on here in Utah. When I was in high school in the 70's on the east coast we didn't do anything like that.

There was always a parent who hosted an all night party after prom to keep us from driving drunk. Drinking age was 18 back then. The popular thing to do was to drive to the beach after the prom and then spend the whole next day getting sunburned. The only really memorable thing that happened after senior prom was getting my car stuck in the sand at the beach and my girlfriend having to push while I drove. She didn't know how to drive a stick shift. So there she was in her prom dress some time after midnight pushing the car!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

Let me add that girls do it too. 
My DD happens to date a guy that does not attend her school. She got up early one morning and got his favorite fresh donuts, and a pound of his favorite coffee and filled his car with balloons, the wrote on the windshield PROM? Lots of kids put this on FB or some other social media. Mine didn't (yeay her).


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## batsociety (Jan 23, 2015)

Back in my day (the '90s), we just asked each other, no fuss. I guess that's because we didn't have social media to show off on.

Some kid asked my daughter last year by getting down on one knee with a box of cupcakes that had "will you go to prom with me?", one word on each. She said no because she's much like I was with the "why would I want to be around people I hate when I don't have to be" mentality, she barely knew him, and she has a girlfriend. It sounded pretty cute, though. She said she felt bad about it. Maybe that's also part of the reason why these kinds of grand gestures have become popular - it's harder to reject someone when they've put that kind of effort in. 



SpinDaddy said:


> One disturbing trend I see here in SE Texas, and it absolutely will not happen here in the Spin household, is kids getting a hotel room or a beach house for the after prom celebration.


Is it disturbing? Kids have been doing this since the dawn of time. You only go to prom to get drunk/laid/both afterwards.


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## Shoto1984 (Apr 11, 2009)

Thanks for the responses. I think the bits about social media are probably the root of this. ie make a big presentation, record and post for all your friends to see/talk about.


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## BrutalHonesty (Apr 5, 2015)

I can't really understand this american tradition. It's like the boys have to try their absolute best to get a girl. As if they are losers who must do something outrageous just so a girl goes to the dance with them while the girl has to do nothing. 

I find that quite sad. It demonstrates an unbalance between the genders that i presume will continue into adulthood. 

If i was in America and had to do this i think i would ask some girl i fancied in a simple way. At most i would do this over some sort of date. I would never open myself to the possible humiliation of doing something enormous just to get shut down. 

On the other hand, girls who get no invitations... How do they deal with that? I mean, when a boy gets refused, that's bad enough. If a girl can't get a single request, how does she cope? 

Also, do girls "settle" for guys when they are afraid of getting no more requests? :scratchhead:


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

At my kid's school they don't have to have a date to go to the prom, so if a girl doesn't get asked she can go anyway. Some kids just go with a big group of friends.

Back when I was in high school, you HAD to have a date to go to prom, which is kind of stupid.


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

Back when I was in high school (early 90s) no one did that whole elaborate asking thing. If you already had a boyfriend/girlfriend, it was assumed they would go to gether...no need to ask. If someone asked you, it wasn't an Olympic event.

I personally think it's ridiculous.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Shoto1984 said:


> Thanks for the responses. I think the bits about social media are probably the root of this. ie make a big presentation, record and post for all your friends to see/talk about.


It's silly and it's all about self promotion on social media I think. It's like a competition to choreograph the coolest "ask."

My daughter's boy friend did a little presentation to ask her for homecoming (posted on social media), then he did an elaborate presentation to ask her to his prom. (Also posted on social media)

My daughter said during the song and dance, in a restaurant with friends as back up, she was totally embarrassed and had no idea how she was supposed to behave with the other patrons either ignoring them or staring at them. The video shows a totally red faced girl.

Their high school does a PTA sponsored all night after prom party with a slew of games, food, prizes, and give always to keep the kids off the roads, out of hotels and appropriately supervised.


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## grushim1239 (Apr 13, 2015)

I think it's absolutely ridiculous also. I think it's about who can do it the best and the biggest!!


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