# Did I Lose The Love Of My Life?



## marknts (Oct 28, 2014)

My wife and I have been married for 8 years...and together for 16. We were getting along really well until about 3 years ago. It all started when my wife found out that I was playing the stock market (gambling) behind her back. When I was confronted...I lied at first, then apologized that it will never happen again. I enrolled myself into counseling, and also was put on medication to help me with my OCD. A year passed and everything was fine. We decided to move from Florida to California June 2012. I thought that's what I wanted...but after a month of being there, I started to shut down. I started doing the online day trading again behind her back, with the fantasy of showing her I know what I'm doing. Once I show you how much money I can make, you'll see I'm right. I had to go back to Florida for my grandfather's funeral. I was there for only three days. Once I landed back into California, I called my wife at the airport to let her know I was coming home. She told me we need to have a serious talk when I get home. Once I get in the house, she brings out stacks of statements from my trading, and starts crying hysterically. I started crying saying how sorry I am, and I swear I will do anything to make this up and have her trust me again. I relinquished all of my bank accounts, user names, passwords, ect... I also went to Gamblers anonymous as well. After a couple of months...she slowly started to trust me again. After a few months after that...we decided we wanted to move back to Florida again. We just didn't feel a connection there, and we missed our friends and family. We moved into this little condo that her cousin lived in before...but I never liked for a year. We started arguing a lot from that point, and was even going to marriage counseling. All we did in there was go back in forth blaming each other for their unhappiness. For the past month or so she was sleeping in our guest room, and our sex life was non-exsistant. So here we are in the present. My wife just told me three days ago that she was moving out, and getting her own apt (which she secured/planned for a week or so behind my back). She never let on that any of this was going to happen. I was completely blindsided. When she told me her plans...we also told me she wanted to go to marriage counseling while we're separated to work on our marriage. When she text's me or calls me, she always tells me she loves me. She tells all of our friends that she still loves me, and couldn't imagine her life without me. I am so confused, guilty, scared, and ashamed that I didn't do a better job of protecting our marriage and her heart. Any suggestions/advice is appreciated.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My advice... Go to counseling with her, and work on yourself. Hard. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Married but Happy (Aug 13, 2013)

There's nothing wrong with day trading if you make money. If you are losing and continue to lose without appropriate loss discipline, then it's gambling or OCD. You may or may not have a gambling problem - you don't say how you did. You do have a lying problem, though.

By all means, work on yourself, go to counselling, work on your marriage - but consider if there's really a gambling problem as part of the whole mess, or if that's just a wrong perception your wife has.


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## marknts (Oct 28, 2014)

Definitely! I'm going to a support group session tonight, and a PHD tomorrow. I'm going to do everything I can do to heal myself.


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