# why no section for abuse?????



## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

did i miss it somewhere,? I dont see any section on this forum for the issue of abuse/ domestic violence in relaiotnships?
this forum is great overall, includes alot of areas that cover most of the issues like infidelity, depression, addiction, experiences in counseling etc. BUT why isnt there any section to address this issue? its a significant and critical issue in many relationships, just puzzled why it was overlooked

in my relationship there are issues related to this but i havent felt comfortable going into specifics of it bc there is nowhere to post and discuss it


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

I had thought about that myself but came to the conclusion that staying in an abusive relationship once you realize it is abusive is the same as self-destructive behavior. Having a section on abuse in a marriage forum, the way I feel, is that it would be the same as having a section on blaming others for your own actions/decisions.

I do think that there should be a sticky somewhere with links to sites that educate people about abuse. I started marriage counseling and right away was told I was in an abusive marriage. Actually it took two go rounds, the first therapist was too blunt and so I got angry at her and she got re-assigned. LOL. The second one was more subtle. So I was able to look at my contribution to the escalating abuse and getting sucked into the quicksand of diminishing self-esteem and functional disablement. Somehow I woke up after I'd had quite enough when H was home on leave, actually a couple months after and then I just decided to leave and since then I look back and think WTF was I thinking. I should have not taken back his ring the times I gave it back to him pre-marriage when I had had enough, they were little things that triggered those instances but honestly, the situations were controlling, and the bigger things I buried probably intentionally because it was easier on me to believe his version of our relationship than mine. Ugh. Never again.

So that is my feeling on abuse. I think there should be educational links but also things like self-esteem and functional assistance like budgeting and logistical issues of leaving a relationship or putting bullies in their place early on in relationships (i.e. in the dating section).


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## Ladybugs (Oct 12, 2010)

not sure i understand your answer ...i was asking why are there sections related to everything else, i.e. addictions, infidelity, etc. but not one for domestic violence?

it just seemed like an obvious thing to me, im hoping it can be added


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