# Differences between the length of contested / uncontested divorce filing



## MF_DDAY224 (10 mo ago)

My ex wanted an uncontested divorce (1A) but when I spoke with my lawyer he filed a contested divorce. I didn't really know the difference until after it was filed. This bothered my ex, not that I care, but I want this over ASAP just as much as she does. I don't believe the lawyer is just trying to squeeze me because he initially tried to push me towards reconciliation during the consultation and I later went back to him and he said 3k would be enough to get divorced so that's what I retained him on. There isn't much my ex and I disagree on in terms of moving forward; it's 100% just not us finding a custody schedule we agree on. Is anyone familiar with the differences between the two and if we came to an agreement on custody could it go as quickly as an uncontested divorce?


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## lifeistooshort (Mar 17, 2013)

Well if you're not in complete agreement on everything then it's a contested divorce....nobody cares what she wants.

If you still have to work out a custody schedule then it has to be contested.


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I had an uncontested divorce which meant we both agreed on the stipulations in the petition. A contested divorce is when you don’t agree on the stipulations. That takes a trial (not a brief hearing) to resolve. That usually means time and money. And the end result may not be any different than it otherwise would have with an uncontested divorce. The trick is coming to what both parties consider an equitable agreement. If you can you’re much better off.


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

@MF_DDAY224 

It's my understanding that an uncontested divorce is one where both parties are co-petitioners...and a contested divorce is where one party is petitioner and one party is respondent. 

If you both co-petition, then you agree on everything in the divorce papers and they are much shorter because usually you wait the 90 days (or whatever your state wait-period is) and then a judge schedules it to be signed. 

If one of you is petitioner, then you serve the respondent who has 30 days to respond. Naturally they don't think what you proposed in the papers is cool, so they respond with their preferences and you have so many days to respond. Thus a contested divorce usually takes longer because there's back-and-forth, and A contests this and B contests that. Now it can be shortened if A and B agree on everything in the petition regarding asset and debt division and custody (joint legal and physical) but they can't agree on ONE thing...such as the parenting schedule. If that's the case, both A and B can stipulate to the assets, debts, and custody and then agree to try to settling the parenting schedule in mediation. If that doesn't work, agree to allow the judge to determine the parenting schedule. However, if you can't agree in mediation, usually you have to present YOUR plan...let your stbx present THEIR plan...go through evidence...and honestly you may as well have gone to trial with your divorce!

Thus, here's my suggestion. If there are parts of the divorce on which the two of you agree, don't dwell as much on those areas. Focus on the schedule and agree on something: alternating weeks, 3-4-4-3, 2-2-5-5, 2-2-3 or just every 2 days! Or you can come up with something completely unique that works for you...

My ex and I agreed to joint legal and physical custody. We had our kids' school "in the middle" ... and he moved 1.5 miles east and I moved 1.5 miles west--we were 3 miles apart. My home was "home base" and his was visitation (because he worked lots of hours in the evening). The divorce literally said "liberal and frequent visitation" and all that had to be done for a visit was for him or one of the kids to ask for it. They each had their own "backpack" for books and clothes and moving between us, and they rode their bike between school and our two homes. It turned out he really did want them about every other weekend and then now and then mid-week, but he never did like to "schedule it" so they had home base, and if they came home after school and wanted to go to his house, I'd drive 'em over. It just wasn't a fight.


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## thunderchad (12 mo ago)

It's all depends on your state and what their process is. Contested vs not shouldn't affect the timing unless you guys can't come to an agreement on everything. Child placement schedule can be a huge issue to resolve.


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## DownByTheRiver (Jul 2, 2020)

MF_DDAY224 said:


> My ex wanted an uncontested divorce (1A) but when I spoke with my lawyer he filed a contested divorce. I didn't really know the difference until after it was filed. This bothered my ex, not that I care, but I want this over ASAP just as much as she does. I don't believe the lawyer is just trying to squeeze me because he initially tried to push me towards reconciliation during the consultation and I later went back to him and he said 3k would be enough to get divorced so that's what I retained him on. There isn't much my ex and I disagree on in terms of moving forward; it's 100% just not us finding a custody schedule we agree on. Is anyone familiar with the differences between the two and if we came to an agreement on custody could it go as quickly as an uncontested divorce?


You're not going to agree on a custody schedule, and what you need to do is divide the time equally between you two were you each have a block of three and a half days with the children or if you'd prefer, a whole week, but that makes it harder on the children because they don't see one of their parents for a whole week. During that time you are each solely responsible for getting them places and doing things for them and there's no waffling on it or palming it off on the other person because you don't want to change your schedule. It needs to be in writing.

You can't start picking days and having to have exchanges every other day or you will be sorry you ever got that started because it's more trouble and more contact. You can't leave it open where you negotiate as you go along because you're never going to agree on it. A common schedule in this day and age that would be signed off by a judge in the United States at least would be one parent gets the children Sunday through half day Wednesday and the other gets them half day Wednesday through Saturday so that you are each equally inconvenienced and can both keep your career going. 

If you wanted to do every other week, you would just have one very busy week and one easy week. But you could use your week off getting ready for the busy week by bringing in groceries and meal planning etc. You would have to see each other only once a week that way to exchange the children. 

At least part of the point of getting a divorce is to stop the arguing and especially where the children are concerned so it doesn't make any sense to do anything that will perpetuate that going forward.


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## hamadryad (Aug 30, 2020)

Thousands. ....sometime even millions.


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