# Hello... new here



## somanykidssolittletime (Nov 22, 2019)

Well, not sure what else to say. Lol. New here. Married almost 20 years but together longer. Big brood of kids. Sexless marriage. Have tried MC and sex therapy to no avail. Feel like I’m losing my mind. No desire to disrupt the family but can’t spend the next 40 or so years like this. Hoping to find some support here. Thanks.


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## sunsetmist (Jul 12, 2018)

So sorry. Guess sex must have stopped after the brood were born--not unusual. That MC and sex therapy--y'all have made an effort--have not helped is so sad and frustrating. 

What do you want to happen?


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

somanykidssolittletime said:


> Well, not sure what else to say. Lol. New here. Married almost 20 years but together longer. Big brood of kids. Sexless marriage. Have tried MC and sex therapy to no avail. Feel like I’m losing my mind. No desire to disrupt the family but can’t spend the next 40 or so years like this. Hoping to find some support here. Thanks.


Know you have control of this. 
You can turn this around.
Read "The Rational Male" "No More Mr. Nice Guy" "Married Man's Sex Life Primer"

First step KNOW your wife's cycle, if she still has one. Get an app on your phone and follow it. Ovulation days are very good to know.

These are some of the books I read.


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## UpsideDownWorld11 (Feb 14, 2018)

So she understands sex is important to you but refuses anyways?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Welcome to TAM. Tell us your story in the appropriate forum when you feel able.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

somanykidssolittletime said:


> Well, not sure what else to say. Lol. New here. Married almost 20 years but together longer. Big brood of kids. Sexless marriage.


Not for nuthin', but your first order of business should probably be a vasectomy. It sounds like your poor wife has basically spent her whole adult life being a brood mare.


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

Why are you guys assuming that op is a man?


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Ms. Hawaii said:


> Why are you guys assuming that op is a man?


Because people often assume that a person online is the same sex they are?


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

Welcome. We need more information to give better opinions. What we have are opinions, lots of them, based on lots of reading about different people's marriages.

How many children and what is the age span? How many years ago did things drop off in the bedroom?

What was covered in MC? What specifically was your spouse's response to the recommendations?


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## Ms. Hawaii (Mar 28, 2018)

MattMatt said:


> Because people often assume that a person online is the same sex they are?




It’s odd when her profile clearly says she’s a female/woman.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Ms. Hawaii said:


> It’s odd when her profile clearly says she’s a female/woman.


People read profiles? 

We should... but maybe we don't.


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