# A Lady's Handbag



## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Is your handbag considered a "No man zone"? 

Another thread prompted this. I'd mentioned to female colleagues a scenario whereby my husband was to get something from my handbag (it was irrelevant detail to what I was sharing)... but at that point of the story, they looked to me wide-eyed and "No!" ...Quelle horreur! I asked, "So you wouldn't let your man get something out of your bag?" Met with the response, "Hell no!" Apparently I'd missed that memo about handbags. 

A few days later, my colleague (we're also friends) had brought something in to work for me and it was in her handbag. We were sharing a locker. I confirmed whether she wanted me to get her bag, or if she meant for me to just get it from the bag. She said I could just get it and explained where it was in her bag. Apparently girlfriends are admitted.

Where do you stand on this? And would you dare to share what contents lurk within your handbag? This is meant as a light-hearted thread.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

My husband jokes that my handbag weighs so much (it really does!) that I could use it as a weapon. I once weighed my bag. It was over 5 pounds. All the handbags and wallets I have are gifts from him. He loves to go to this one particular company whose products he knows I like. That ends up being a birthday or anniversary gift. 

I don't mind if he goes through my bag. Between the makeup, wallet, loose receipts, alcohol sanitizer, hand lotion and other stuff I carry in there, there's nothing that would interest him. The only time he shows an interest in my bag is when he needs some spare cash. Then my bag is his ATM.


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## HeartInPieces (Sep 13, 2013)

I ask hubby to get something out of my handbag all the time. I never saw anything wrong with. I guess I would be upset if he did it without asking.

same with friends.

Nothing really is in my handbag beside my phone, wallet, some make up and little bottle of perfume. Oh and gum.


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## Cosmos (May 4, 2012)

I'll often ask my SO to just get something out of my bag, but he's always wary of doing so. I don't have a problem with the contents of my handbag - even though it's a little like the Bermuda Triangle


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## Devotee (Sep 22, 2013)

I have never had a problem with my H going in my bag. Like you, I've never understood the need to be territorial with it. What are other ladies stashing in their bags that warrant keeping it in no man's land, I wonder?


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## jitterbug73 (Jun 24, 2013)

Unless you have something to hide,I don't see why you would care if your husband was in your purse. When I need something out of my purse my husband usually brings me the whole thing because its a mess, but if I have cash in there it usually disappears.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Cosmos said:


> I'll often ask my SO to just get something out of my bag, but he's always wary of doing so. I don't have a problem with the contents of my handbag - *even though it's a little like the Bermuda Triangle*


haha!


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Coffee Amore said:


> My husband jokes that my handbag weighs so much (it really does!) that I could use it as a weapon. I once weighed my bag. It was over 5 pounds. All the handbags and wallets I have are gifts from him. He loves to go to this one particular company whose products he knows I like. That ends up being a birthday or anniversary gift.
> 
> I don't mind if he goes through my bag. Between the makeup, wallet, loose receipts, alcohol sanitizer, hand lotion and other stuff I carry in there, there's nothing that would interest him. The only time he shows an interest in my bag is when he needs some spare cash. Then my bag is his ATM.


I know you like to keep fit. Are you using your handbag as a weight?  

The first time my husband bought me a bag as a gift was for my last birthday. It was from the range I love. Oh, be still my beating heart..! Admittedly, I do love a good handbag. One that lasts for a time too. How wonderful that he chooses these for you as special gifts!


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

It never bothered me for my husband to look in my purse. I never gave it a thought. He was the one who refused to look in my bag for any reason, even with my permission. If he needed something and I said it was in my purse and he was welcome to get it, he would bring still bring me the purse and have me retrieve the item. Frankly, that always just seemed odd to me. But then again, he was very protective of his own luggage, laptop bag, wallet, etc. 

I also don't mind my son or any of my other family or close friends digging through my bag for my phone or some change or gum or whatever. I do, however, consider it polite for them to ask first.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Looking to the current contents of my bag, the hairbrush dominates the interior. Then headphones, my purse containing $10. I'd withdrawn $50 but gave it to hubs when he ran out of cash. A crumpled pic of a hairstyle that I took with me to my last appointment. Hand cream. Lipstick pouch that contains a pocket mirror, 2 x small travel perfumes and 3 x lipsticks of different shades - natural gloss to red. Tissues. Lip balm. A bunch of random receipts floating at the bottom. Keys. A couple of tea bags (I don't know why). VapoDrops. And the side zip has receipts kept to claim as work expenses.


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## AnnieAsh (Aug 22, 2012)

I actually hate it when anyone goes into my purse. I request that my husband does NOT go through it. Money, Chapstick, crayons, my pregnancy pops, perfume, all of that gets moved or shifted or goes missing when people touch it. Drives me CRAZY!


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

Current contents of my purse?


wallet containing the usual cards, id, checkbook, etc.
small tube of hand cream
keys
zippered side pocket containing one chapstick, one lipstick, powder compact, folding mini-hairbrush
pocket knife
mini flashlight
needle nose pliers
cell phone
box of Christmas cards waiting to be addressed
notary stamp
 calligraphy pen and bottle of ink in a small case

I only half jokingly refer to my large hobo style purse as my tool bucket.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

^ I love that you have a calligraphy pen and ink... as well as a pocket knife lol. Good call on the folding mini-hairbrush! Thanks for letting us peer into your handbag.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I never cared when my husband or children went through my purse. I never received the memo either. lol

Lately, the dog goes through my purse. Although it is somewhat annoying, it's funny. Every chance she gets, she pulls everything out of my purse. For some reason, nothing is to be in my purse. :scratchhead: And it is only my purse--not my mother's or daughter's.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

827Aug said:


> I never cared when my husband or children went through my purse. I never received the memo either. lol
> 
> Lately, the dog goes through my purse. Although it is somewhat annoying, it's funny. Every chance she gets, she pulls everything out of my purse. For some reason, nothing is to be in my purse. :scratchhead: And it is only my purse--not my mother's or daughter's.


haha... how strange! yet strangely endearing.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

When she asks me to get something from it my response is 50/50 look for it or just bring her the luggage. 

If asked to put something in the bag I will inevitably bring her the bag unless the item is large enough that I can place it on/over the bag. I don't get her filing system.


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## Bellavista (May 29, 2012)

My husband just will not go into my handbag or wallet. He knows that he can get whatever he wants out of there, but he just won't. Probably a hang up from his mother telling him to keep out of her bag when he was a kid.

I love my current bag, it is a real Tardus (except it cannot whisk me away). At the moment it just has my wallet, an umbrella, reading glasses, foundation, mascara, little packets of tissues, a handbag table hanger, mailbox key, painkillers, a little bottle of hand lotion and for some reason, a key to my MIL house.

If needed I can fit my 10.2" tablet in, my kindle, and this morning, a gas cylinder for the soda stream. Yet, it just looks like a normal sized bag. I also like this bag because it was reduced from $100 to $30 when I bought it and I just love the colours of cream, gold and orange.


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

Nope, my handbag isn't even a "no kid zone". H uses it as an ATM; kid raids it for pens and lip gloss.


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

I don't carry a purse. I carry my debit card and car keys in a pocket. Once in awhile, if its that TOM I will carry one if we go out. I just never got into the habit. 

It turns out, I don't ever need a pen....or have a lotion emergency... or forget to wash my hands.... I'm not knocking those who carry stuff around, just whenever I think about carrying a purse I can't imagine what to put in it. Besides tampons!


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## T&T (Nov 16, 2012)

I don't know why my wife still asks me to get stuff from her purse. She always gets the same response, I bring it to her. I get that annoyed look after 20+ years.

It's hers and I don't feel right about going through it even if she asks me too. Not to mention, I'd never find what she wants anyways. lol


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

When I was still carrying a big purse, my H would just bring it to me to get what I wanted, he would never go into it. I stopped carrying a big bag anyway, just who needs all that stuff and the back pain :rofl: hauling it all around. My cell phone and a few charge cards and license and I am off.

After 43 years, I have never once gone through his wallet either. Every couple of years, he gets a new one, once when he was switching them out, he pulled out pictures of me from when we first met and from HS and he had one of all the kids together when they were little.  Besides those pictures and his license/charge cards, I don't know, nor do I care what else he has in there.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

My husband has open access but he rarely looks in it. My son likes to look for pens, candy, change, I made a mistake of putting cat treats once and so my cat would go through my purse every time he saw it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I find this thread fascinating. My ex wife would go ballistic if I went near her purse, saying how rude and unacceptible it was for a man to be in a womans purse. My STBW on the other hand, it's wide open, and she asks me to get stuff out of it all the time. Aside from her cell phone that is in a specific pocket, I just bring the whole thing to her, and sometimes even if her phone is going off, I'll just bring the whole purse to her. It sees to annoy her sometimes that I just won't go into it, or answer her phone for her.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

CharlieParker said:


> When she asks me to get something from it my response is 50/50 look for it or just bring her the luggage.
> 
> If asked to put something in the bag I will inevitably bring her the bag unless the item is large enough that I can place it on/over the bag.* I don't get her filing system.*



Yes, women's handbags are complicated!

I remember when I was a boy, my mom constantly sending me into her handbag to either look for a piece of paper with a phone # or spare change to spend in school. 90% of the times I never found what she swore was in her handbag, including the spare dollar.

So now I have a serious hangup when my wife asks me to do the same.
Firstly , she has lots of handbags, has a problem identifying styles and remembering the exact contents of each.

So here's what happened the other day. She ordered something online and the delivery man came with the item, I was home alone.
So I call her , asking her what to do.

Me: Hun the delivery people are hear claiming you ordered something, what should I do?

Her: [ laughing] Just sign for it and pay them.

Me: But it's a lot of money, I don't have that amount of cash on me.All I have are my cards.

Her: All right, just go into my peach handbag , you'll see a tan coloured purse ,look in the back section and I THINK there's some money there...
Me : [ getting impatient] It's ok dear, he has a mobile point of sales unit. I'll use my card.

I think women's handbags are complicated, I just purchase them for my wife and that's it. Way too many compartments. I don't even keep my spare change and card in a wallet, I use a money clip.
I try to keep my life simple, so I stay out of my wife's handbags.

Not that it's off limits, I prefer not to get lost.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Firstly , she has lots of handbags,


Oh my, and I'm "complaining", my wife has had only one bag for about 10 years now. When my father was hounding us for Christmas ideas she asked for a new bag that would fit her iPad.


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## hopelessromantic1 (Feb 16, 2012)

For me, it's a respect thing. Not that I have a single thing in there that I wouldn't want H to see (except that it's messy.) My ex H would NEVER go in there, he was raised not to, he would just bring me the purse. Current H shoves his whole arm in there and remarks "how can you find anything in here at all?" So his purse privileges have been revoked. I don't keep anything in there he would ever need, so he can keep out.


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## staarz21 (Feb 6, 2013)

I don't carry one. I have a diaper bag if I take the kids and just throw my wallet in there. If I'm alone, I just carry my wallet. Less stuff to worry with. The wallet can hook to my wrist if I need it too.


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

It's more like - looking into her handbag would be equivalent of me looking for item x in the refrigerator. There it is in plane site on the middle shelf and yet I can't see it. So what would be the point of me looking in her handbag.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

I wouldn't care if he got into my purse at all, but it weighs like a tank and he would be lost in there.. he usually can't find anything if I ask him to look -even with direction, at that point, he brings it to me and says I need to do it.. this has happened on occasion...like 5 minutes later, he is still looking for something..


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

The odd times I use my handbag my husbands phone/wallet/keys are in it so yh he goes in it when he need's something.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

Married 22 years. I never had a problem with my stbxh looking in my handbag. He was very aggressive when it came to his wallet. One time I touched it and you would have thought I committed a crime. I now understand why. He had something to hide.


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## Shiksa (Mar 2, 2012)

My H won't touch my handbag. He will bring it to me if he needs something out of it. Its kind of a McGyver bag. Everything from an Epi pen to tape measure with a buck knife on the side. Its quite stylish though a fushia Coach bag. Ialso keep tools of the trade in there, a loupe for diamonds. Money is the last thing you will find in there though. I have two kids...


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Reading the responses reminded me that my grandad would always bring my nan her handbag. It was a fairly small bag, hard case, with the silver clip that intertwines at the top. The way she'd look into her handbag and the sound of the clasp closing again, seemed very official. 

My husband rarely has the need to go into my handbag. I guess it's just when I've said to take my keys, travel card or cash, and then just direct him to my bag. It's a rarer occasion that I'd go into his wallet. I might look to see how much cash he has and ask if he's cool with me taking a certain amount. There's never been a time when it's not; it's just a respect thing.


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Shiksa said:


> My H won't touch my handbag. He will bring it to me if he needs something out of it. Its kind of a McGyver bag. Everything from an Epi pen to tape measure with a buck knife on the side. Its quite stylish though a fushia Coach bag. Ialso keep tools of the trade in there, a loupe for diamonds. Money is the last thing you will find in there though. I have two kids...


McGyver in the style of fuchsia :smthumbup:


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## heartsbeating (May 2, 2011)

Bellavista said:


> My husband just will not go into my handbag or wallet. He knows that he can get whatever he wants out of there, but he just won't. Probably a hang up from his mother telling him to keep out of her bag when he was a kid.
> 
> I love my current bag, it is a real Tardus (except it cannot whisk me away). At the moment it just has my wallet, an umbrella, reading glasses, foundation, mascara, little packets of tissues, a handbag table hanger, mailbox key, painkillers, a little bottle of hand lotion and for some reason, a key to my MIL house.
> 
> If needed I can fit my 10.2" tablet in, my kindle, and this morning, a gas cylinder for the soda stream. Yet, it just looks like a normal sized bag. I also like this bag because it was reduced from $100 to $30 when I bought it and I just love the colours of cream, gold and orange.


Nice!


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

Dh refuses to go into my bag for anything unless it's sitting right at the top where he can see it. I don't know why for sure.Maybe his mom had handbag issues and he was taught he could never reach into it? 

I don't care if he dumps the darn thing on the counter top looking for whatever he needs...he can clean it out while he's at it

I try to keep it to a minimum. Wallet,chap stick, keys, a couple bandaids, a nail file, glasses case, floss, and a travel bottle of hand lotion.


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

I never go in my wife's purse, if there is something in there I need I bring it to her and let her fish it out.
Not sure why maybe a purse is such a personal item looking in it seems like pulling up her skirt to see if she has panties on.


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## Rowan (Apr 3, 2012)

love=pain said:


> Not sure why maybe a purse is such a personal item looking in it seems like pulling up her skirt to see if she has panties on.


There was a time in my marriage when that wouldn't have been a problem either.


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

love=pain said:


> Not sure why maybe a purse is such a personal item looking in it seems like pulling up her skirt to see if she has panties on.


Wait, I rarely go into her bag but regularly perform a "knicker check". (With or without panties she has never failed such a check.)


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## CharlieParker (Aug 15, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> I try to keep it to a minimum. Wallet,chap stick, keys, a couple bandaids, a nail file, glasses case, *floss*, and a travel bottle of hand lotion.


I was going to make a snarky comment but wait, my wife also carries oral hygiene products. It is commendable.


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## love=pain (Nov 26, 2012)

Rowan said:


> There was a time in my marriage when that wouldn't have been a problem either.


Not a problem here except the ladies get a bit unnerved when you do it in a crowd.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

*As a gentleman, I've always had respect enough for my XW's handbags, despite their both ending up being found out to be cheaters.

The only time that I ever got into their handbags was when they requested me to. And conversely, I expected them to stay out of my wallet unannounced. 

And while both were definitely deemed to be "control freaks," my first XW did comply with my wishes ~ but my rich skanky second XW absolutely did not! To her credit, she occasionally was either putting money or credit cards in there, or taking them out when she was angry ~ all pretty much at her will and pleasure! 

Now her lazy, shiftless, lying dope-head juvenile kids always raided her purse to steal money or her credit cards for their wares, and raided her liquor cabinet on a regular basis for refreshment, often hiding the bottles in the depths of the deep freezer. 

And on several occasions, I was accused by her as being the culprit, as she defended those no-account louts of hers to the hilt! The problem with that is that I never ever had it in me to get into anyone's personal property, and I have always been an extremely light drinker and didn't particularly care for her types of libations. 

And only until I showed her where their liquor stash was, did she ever let up. And then she refused to do anything about it, other than occasionally moving her purse to some new hiding place in the house. And usually she'd move it to some new place where those convicts of hers almost always found it once again! The liquor cabinet, however, never was locked! It just always stayed open for business, mostly for their uninterrupted pleasure and consumption!*


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## Ikaika (Apr 23, 2012)

ScarletBegonias said:


> Dh refuses to go into my bag for anything unless it's sitting right at the top where he can see it. I don't know why for sure.Maybe his mom had handbag issues and he was taught he could never reach into it?
> 
> * I don't care if he dumps the darn thing on the counter top looking for whatever he needs*...he can clean it out while he's at it
> 
> I try to keep it to a minimum. Wallet,chap stick, keys, a couple bandaids, a nail file, glasses case, floss, and a travel bottle of hand lotion.


If I did that a hush would fall over the house. My sons would stare at me with a look of terror. I would glance over at my beautiful wife with a nervous smile and hope for the best.


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## Boottothehead (Sep 3, 2013)

Rowan said:


> Current contents of my purse?
> 
> 
> wallet containing the usual cards, id, checkbook, etc.
> ...


I'm impressed by the needle nosed pliers. I keep a pair of those at my desk, but I'm thinking that I need a portable pair now.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

Funny thing....my wife's purse has so much stuff in it that many times she can't even find her own keys to start her car. My son and I get very frustrated with this. So....we don't go near her purse. If she ever asks us to get something from her purse, we simply pick up the purse and bring it to her. I NEVER go into her purse, and likewise, she doesn't go into my wallet. 

Neither of us wouldn't care if we got into each other's wallet/purse....but in our house, we just don't do it. She has everything but the kitchen sink in hers. :rofl:


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## tacoma (May 1, 2011)

My wife doesn't have a problem with me getting into her purse.

I try to avoid it simply due to the inevitable frustration of to being unable to find what I'm looking for in the depths of that merciless pit.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

tacoma said:


> My wife doesn't have a problem with me getting into her purse.
> 
> *I try to avoid it simply due to the inevitable frustration of to being unable to find what I'm looking for in the depths of that merciless pit.*


Hmmmm,

This seems to be a universal problem afflicting _only_ males.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

I hate being told to look for something in wifeys handbag. all those zips and pouches. It's so confusing. I mean do I reaaally want to search through every single little area to find something she can just reach for?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

I guess my wife was never in the "stay out of my purse!" crowd, because she's asked me a whole pile of times if I could grab something out of there. Other times, I've asked where something is, and if it's in her purse, she tells me I can grab from there myself.

But, for those that don't want other people in there, I completely get that, too.

For my part, I have a hell of a time finding anything in there. It's sort of like Mary Poppins' bag, or the inside of Snoopy's doghouse. WAY more room in there than the outside would indicate.

I can't complain, mind you, because lots of times when we go out, she's holding various items for me.


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## Tom Tybee (Sep 5, 2013)

hmmm, I do go into DW's wallet. But just to keep it stocked with cash, that's all. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this.


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## VermisciousKnid (Dec 27, 2011)

It annoys the heck out of me when I'm asked to find a small item in there. I'll just bring it to her in that case. Then she can be annoyed at the amount of junk that has accumulated in it - balled up tissues, gum wrappers, three pair of sunglasses, those little below the ankle stocking things (Peds?), too many writing implements, folded papers for jotting notes, a spoon wrapped in a plastic bag in case a yogurt needs to be consumed, pulverized single serving crackers that came with a purchased bowl of soup, a small ziplock bag of nuts in case hunger pangs strike...

The only thing I will get from her purse when asked is her wallet because it's easy to find.


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## AliceA (Jul 29, 2010)

There are no mysteries in my bag, and while I wouldn't feel comfortable with people rifling through it for no reason, I've often asked DH to just grab whatever it is he's looking for straight from my bag. Apparently this is a difficult task however and I usually end up having to get it myself anyway, lol.


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## sh987 (Oct 10, 2013)

breeze said:


> There are no mysteries in my bag, and while I wouldn't feel comfortable with people rifling through it for no reason, I've often asked DH to just grab whatever it is he's looking for straight from my bag. Apparently this is a difficult task however and I usually end up having to get it myself anyway, lol.


A man going through purse is like a kid trying to find something in the fridge. It's not there, but when the lady of the house looks, it magically appears right in plain sight.


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