# Vibrator



## Shywife

Hello am new here,nice to meet you all,the issue is my husband turns me down at times wen I initiate sex,I noticed he loves to masturbate ,and I resent the feeling I get wen turned down,so before he traveled we had sex twice in a month so I bought a vibrator to satisfy myself and I had an orgasm which have never had with my husband, now I feel is going to say am cheating wen he finds the vibrator,though have hid it,but am scared.please I need advice


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## bobert

Shywife said:


> Hello am new here,nice to meet you all,the issue is my husband turns me down at times wen I initiate sex,I noticed he loves to masturbate ,and I resent the feeling I get wen turned down,so before he traveled we had sex twice in a month so I bought a vibrator to satisfy myself and I had an orgasm which have never had with my husband, now I feel is going to say am cheating wen he finds the vibrator,though have hid it,but am scared.please I need advice


If your husband masturbates, then I see no reason why you can't do the same. There shouldn't be separate rules. 

Have you ever brought up introducing toys to your sex life?

Have you talked to your husband about any of this? How you feel when you're turned down? That you're not sexually satisfied? That you need more foreplay and he needs to learn how to get you off? 

Or does he try to satisfy you as well but you just can't relax enough or it doesn't feel right?


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## maquiscat

Shywife said:


> Hello am new here,nice to meet you all,the issue is my husband turns me down at times wen I initiate sex,I noticed he loves to masturbate ,and I resent the feeling I get wen turned down,so before he traveled we had sex twice in a month so I bought a vibrator to satisfy myself and I had an orgasm which have never had with my husband, now I feel is going to say am cheating wen he finds the vibrator,though have hid it,but am scared.please I need advice


Make the simple point that if you are cheating when you masterbate, then he is too, and has no moral high ground to stand on.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

In order to limit the time you're sitting and worrying about it, consider leaving the vibrator out, or tell him first chance, so you can bring it up and talk, move the whole thing forward. 

Don't let this drag out. Better to get past this, in whatever form or direction the solution takes.

That will be much easier on you emotionally and physically.


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## Mr.Married

I don’t recognize the flag by your name so I’m unsure if there is some cultural deal involved with your issue. If it is some kind of guilt you feel because of how much you enjoy the way the toy feels then DONT. Toys are designed to do/be things that men can’t/aren’t ....enjoy it....


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## VladDracul

Shy, if he's willingly starving you for sex while he does widow thumb and her four daughters, why not entertain the idea of lining up a FWB when he's out of town. Think about how that vib would be if somebody else was driving it and you just enjoyed the scenery.


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## FlaviusMaximus

Unless your vibrator has a name, meets you at a hotel or showers you with gifts, it's just masturbation and it seems like you're in need of it with how infrequently you have sex. You and your husband would be better off having a conversation about why sex is infrequent, why he seems to prefer masturbating and how that makes you feel. I think you should bring up the vibrator yourself and let him know you use it to satisfy your need for orgasm. 

If you both get back on track, talk to him and make sure he learns to do what you and the vibrator are doing so that sex is more satisfying.


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## Sfort

Mr.Married said:


> Tell him if he was that big and could vibrate and stay hard all night then you wouldn’t have bought it.


A comment like that in my marriage would cause permanent damage. Maybe that's what you're suggesting.


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## Openminded

Nigeria? Isn’t that still a very patriarchal culture? Yeah, keep that hidden.


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## Mr.Married

Sfort said:


> A comment like that in my marriage would cause permanent damage. Maybe that's what you're suggesting.


Fair enough... I edited my comment.


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## sokillme

Shywife said:


> Hello am new here,nice to meet you all,the issue is my husband turns me down at times wen I initiate sex,I noticed he loves to masturbate ,and I resent the feeling I get wen turned down,so before he traveled we had sex twice in a month so I bought a vibrator to satisfy myself and I had an orgasm which have never had with my husband, now I feel is going to say am cheating wen he finds the vibrator,though have hid it,but am scared.please I need advice


You will have better success if you talk to this stuff about your husband. It will take some of the pressure off (no pun intended). Maybe you can even bring that into your relationship. It may be awkward at first but it's worth it.


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## happyhusband0005

Shywife said:


> Hello am new here,nice to meet you all,the issue is my husband turns me down at times wen I initiate sex,I noticed he loves to masturbate ,and I resent the feeling I get wen turned down,so before he traveled we had sex twice in a month so I bought a vibrator to satisfy myself and I had an orgasm which have never had with my husband, now I feel is going to say am cheating wen he finds the vibrator,though have hid it,but am scared.please I need advice


Just tell him about the vibrator invite him to watch how it gives you orgasms maybe he will pick up some pointers and be able to give you one also.


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## Shywife

bobert said:


> If your husband masturbates, then I see no reason why you can't do the same. There shouldn't be separate rules.
> 
> Have you ever brought up introducing toys to your sex life?
> 
> Have you talked to your husband about any of this? How you feel when you're turned down? That you're not sexually satisfied? That you need more foreplay and he needs to learn how to get you off?
> 
> Or does he try to satisfy you as well but you just can't relax enough or it doesn't feel right?





bobert said:


> If your husband masturbates, then I see no reason why you can't do the same. There shouldn't be separate rules.
> 
> Have you ever brought up introducing toys to your sex life?
> 
> Have you talked to your husband about any of this? How you feel when you're turned down? That you're not sexually satisfied? That you need more foreplay and he needs to learn how to get you off?
> 
> Or does he try to satisfy you as well but you just can't relax enough or it doesn't feel right?


Th


Shywife said:


> Hello am new here,nice to meet you all,the issue is my husband turns me down at times wen I initiate sex,I noticed he loves to masturbate ,and I resent the feeling I get wen turned down,so before he traveled we had sex twice in a month so I bought a vibrator to satisfy myself and I had an orgasm which have never had with my husband, now I feel is going to say am cheating wen he finds the vibrator,though have hid it,but am scared.please I need advice
> [/QUOTE





bobert said:


> If your husband masturbates, then I see no reason why you can't do the same. There shouldn't be separate rules.
> 
> Have you ever brought up introducing toys to your sex life?
> 
> Have you talked to your husband about any of this? How you feel when you're turned down? That you're not sexually satisfied? That you need more foreplay and he needs to learn how to get you off?
> 
> Or does he try to satisfy you as well but you just can't relax enough or it doesn't feel right?


Yes I have actually discuss some of this with him especially how I feel wen turned down,but he said its as a result of stress .then when it comes to foreplay ,I give him blowjob but he can't reciprocate it .and he doesn't care if I get an orgasm or not ,foreplay not much ,once he ejaculates .that's the end .


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## bobert

Shywife said:


> Th
> 
> 
> Yes I have actually discuss some of this with him especially how I feel wen turned down,but he said its as a result of stress .then when it comes to foreplay ,I give him blowjob but he can't reciprocate it .and he doesn't care if I get an orgasm or not ,foreplay not much ,once he ejaculates .that's the end .


Well, I'd be telling him that he's not getting his until you get yours. No one likes a selfish partner, and that includes in the bedroom.


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## jlg07

Shywife said:


> Th
> 
> 
> Yes I have actually discuss some of this with him especially how I feel wen turned down,but he said its as a result of stress .then when it comes to foreplay ,I give him blowjob but he can't reciprocate it .and he doesn't care if I get an orgasm or not ,foreplay not much ,once he ejaculates .that's the end .


The next time you have sex, tell HIM to get to work! Once YOU are taken care of, then HE can be taken care of -- being married is supposed to be a partnership and he should WANT to make sure you are satisfied.
If he won't ask him why not?


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## SunCMars

Shywife said:


> Th
> 
> 
> Yes I have actually discuss some of this with him especially how I feel wen turned down,but he said its as a result of stress .then when it comes to foreplay ,I give him blowjob but he can't reciprocate it .and he doesn't care if I get an orgasm or not ,foreplay not much ,once he ejaculates .that's the end .


I am so sorry.

I was going to say, " NEVER tell him that he never has given you an orgasm". And, that he does not satisfy you.

Yes, he should be, straight up, told!

But, don't say it.

Why purposely anger him?

He is selfish.

Enjoy your body, keep your vibrator hidden away.


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## SunCMars

Part of your pleasure will be that, no one knows. 

Secret pleasure is often the best!


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## sokillme

Shywife said:


> Th
> 
> 
> Yes I have actually discuss some of this with him especially how I feel wen turned down,but he said its as a result of stress .then when it comes to foreplay ,I give him blowjob but he can't reciprocate it .and he doesn't care if I get an orgasm or not ,foreplay not much ,once he ejaculates .that's the end .


He sounds pretty selfish.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

sokillme said:


> He sounds pretty selfish.


No kidding.


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## FlaviusMaximus

Oral is reciprocal - take turns on who goes first, that should help things along.


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## DownByTheRiver

Just tell him, You masturbate, and so do I and so do most people. Honestly this isn't that much his business. It doesn't have to interfere. Everyone does it. I would not point out that it's better than him, though. If he asks anything about that, you can just say it's quicker because I control what it does. Then if you're lucky he might decide to ask you the particulars and learn to do that himself. But if not, you still have your toy.


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## VladDracul

Sfort said:


> A comment like that in my marriage would cause permanent damage. Maybe that's what you're suggesting.


Flogging your dong while forcing your wife to do without also causes permanent damage in a marriage. Shy needs a man that being passion and sexual fulfillment to her; not some dud that sits around jerking off while forcing her to do without. He even lack the skill to give her an orgasm when he can turn loose of his pecker. My suggestion is for her to find someone who can fulfill her wants and desires and ditch this cat. If he travels like she sez, she's got some time to shop around and test drive few.


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## Sfort

VladDracul said:


> Flogging your dong while forcing your wife to do without also causes permanent damage in a marriage. Shy needs a man that being passion and sexual fulfillment to her; not some dud that sits around jerking off while forcing her to do without. He even lack the skill to give her an orgasm when he can turn loose of his pecker. My suggestion is for her to find someone who can fulfill her wants and desires and ditch this cat. If he travels like she sez, she's got some time to shop around and test drive few.


We agree, but that response is not inconsistent with my comment. Saying hurtful things that do not move a relationship in the right direction can have a lifelong deleterious impact. If she WANTS to hurt him and challenge his manhood, those words are pretty good.


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## FlaviusMaximus

DownByTheRiver said:


> Just tell him, You masturbate, and so do I and so do most people.


Most people masturbate?
_At least that's what I think you wrote, my eyesight isn't what it used to be. _


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## DownByTheRiver

FlaviusMaximus said:


> Most people masturbate?
> _At least that's what I think you wrote, my eyesight isn't what it used to be. _


😁


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