# How to talk to wife about attire...or should I?



## Zibit999 (Jun 15, 2015)

I've been struggling with how to address the topic of dress with my wife, as I believe what you wear is your own personal choice and not up to anyone else. 

Ever since I've know her, especially during the summer, her outfits have been a bit on the revealing side, but still classy enough. However, we have two young children now. Although this may sound a touch strange, two young kids require us to bend over and contort in ways we didn't have to previously, causing embarrassing situations in which her skirt rides up and just shows off wayyyy too much, if you catch my drift. I worry about what others think in these situations, and I hate to say it...but there are occasions when I get embarrassed to go out with her because I feel it reflects negatively on us as a family. 

So...am I being insensitive? Should I learn to deal with these types of "underwear oopsies" and "boobie malfunctions"? Or should I speak up...and how to do that in a way that doesn't sound like I'm coming off crass or judgmental.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustTired (Jan 22, 2012)

I'm a woman & I totally understand your point. I have a 4 year old daughter & I have had to change my wardrobe style to better fit my role as mommy now. Now a days, I wear long maxi dresses in the summer so that I can bend over to my heart's content & not worry about flashing anyone. Shirts can be tough though, I have shown too much unintentionally when my daughter grabs my shirt - sometimes it just happens.

Have you ever brought this up to your wife before? Do you think she would be receptive? The way you explained it in your post on how you often have to contort yourself due to your young kids is totally a good way to start off the conversation.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I would say I don't mind the free show but I mind others are getting a free show.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Surely you can tell her that when she bends over she's showing way too much. If you need to, take a picture with your cell phone and show her.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

90 out of every 100 women would throw a punch at you and then yell at you to do all the bending over and such if you're so concerned about it.


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## Maricha75 (May 8, 2012)

Runs like Dog said:


> 90 out of every 100 women would throw a punch at you and then yell at you to do all the bending over and such if you're so concerned about it.


Ahh, but even those "90 out of 100 women" would get upset if he just stepped in and did it himself. I agree with the others. Just talk to her and tell her your concerns. If she suggests that you do the bending and such, then do it. But you should still talk to her about it.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

I have always been aware that I need to kneel when wearing a skirt. Bending over views down a shirt - eh, I'm wearing a bra. Whatever. But I don't see why you can't just say something to her - you aren't criticizing her wardrobe and she's likely not aware. Just saying "whoa, I can see you're wearing pink thong today - hot!" with a wink - you can do this in a playful way that isn't critical. Same with the bending over. I have a friend who is an elementary school teacher so she bends over a lot and is well-endowed. Her solution is to always have on a snug cotton camisole under everything. Layering, even in a sundress, is popular so it would be easy for her to do. 

Just tell her. If she doesn't care, then don't mention it again. Or position yourself in a way to block the view or do the bending first if it bothers you.


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## convert (Oct 4, 2013)

EleGirl said:


> Surely you can tell her that when she bends over she's showing way too much. *If you need to, take a picture with your cell phone and show her.*


LOL, Just do it when no one else is around :grin2:

If people see you take a picture of a women bent over they might think you are a perv. ......... even if it is your wife.


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

When I married my first wife, the mini skirt was the fashion and one day I told her when she bent over that I can see her ass. She said well it's the mini skirt.. Wasn't long after and there was a girl in front of us and she bent over a little too much and I saw what she had. My wife got pissed and I told her in a calm way, "hey it's the mini skirt and their in fashion and now you get the idea of what I'm talking about. She changed her ways.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

I am wearing a skirt today and every time I've had to bend over, I've squatted. I remember one time, years ago, going mini golfing with my kids and a mom was dressed like you're describing. Every time she bent over to pick up her ball, we saw everything, and she was not even wearing underwear.


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

papir said:


> I have no problem with my woman showing off her body. Doesn't hurt if the other guys want to have a look, at the end of the day she's in bed with me, not them.


Well, if that is the case why not just go naked.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

SecondTime'Round said:


> I am wearing a skirt today and every time I've had to bend over, I've squatted. I remember one time, years ago, going mini golfing with my kids and a mom was dressed like you're describing. Every time she bent over to pick up her ball, we saw everything, and she was not even wearing underwear.


Sounds like she did that on purpose. Exhibitionist.


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

I agree with the posters- have a serious talk with her about this. She's drawing the wrong kind of attention.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

A round of mini golf would be ideal to test my new HD Vision post eye surgery :rofl:

Tough call. Do you have a trusted female relative you could ask to talk to her? She may not give your input as much thought as she would someone female on the family.


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## Kristisha (Apr 29, 2013)

But still I believe it should come from your first and fast. See her reaction, if she is offended that means she knows about it does not bother her( which would be strange because it's not only about her, it's about you as well) or she didn't "realised" and could change her ways.

It shouldn't be only about her, it's about the way it affects you as well, but ultimately if she doesn't see it as a problem that needs resolving that means you are at a loss here.


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## dignityhonorpride (Jan 2, 2014)

Kristisha said:


> But still I believe it should come from your first and fast. See her reaction, if she is offended that means she knows about it does not bother her( which would be strange because it's not only about her, it's about you as well) or she didn't "realised" and could change her ways.
> 
> It shouldn't be only about her, it's about the way it affects you as well, but ultimately if she doesn't see it as a problem that needs resolving that means you are at a loss here.


I disagree. She may react defensively because this 'criticism' makes her feel ashamed.

OP, maybe make it about a new wardrobe. Suggest to her that you two go shopping for some new clothing that will better suit your new, more active lifestyle, and give suggestions in the dressing room to get her thinking about her appearance from various angles. For example, you could coach her to bend over and look at herself from behind, above, etc., so she thinks, oh no - I bet my underwear shows in my other miniskirt.


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## aine (Feb 15, 2014)

Why don't you subtly tell her so as to not offend her but give her a hint. "baby I like it when you bend over, etc etc as my imagination runs wild, etc etc but to be honest I don't want to share that with anyone else, I love you honey, etc etc."


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## *LittleDeer* (Apr 19, 2012)

Can't you just say "sexy black underwear you have on today" or something like that? Then she might remember to squat. 

At the end of the day it's just underwear.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What's it about just taking the truth as it is that is so hard for some? Just tell her... "I love it when you bend over becuase I can see everything. But I'm not sure it's cool to be flashing all the kids and men at the mall."

If you cannot talk to your wife about this, then your marriage has bigger issues then your wife flashing everyone when she bends over.


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## sisters359 (Apr 9, 2009)

Simple answer: Tennis skirts. She doesn't have to play tennis to wear them. If she wants to be somewhat more discrete. I agree that you should simply make a gentle or humorous comment to make sure she is aware, and then let it go. Only small-minded people will judge you and your children for her behavior--and it's her body to flaunt or cover, as she chooses.

Just a quick question: would you be embarrassed if she was at the beach wearing a cover-up (which usually doesn't actually cover much), bent over, and flashed her bikini bottoms? If she wore a bikini at the beach in the first place? If you think of the two situations, they seem to be quite similar, and one might cause you discomfort while the other wouldn't. That's because we have double-standards about such things, and a lot of women are sooooooo tired of this b.s. that they just don't play that game anymore. But that's for each woman to decide for herself.


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## richardsharpe (Jul 8, 2014)

Good evening
If she doesn't realize that she is flashing people when she bends over, then you would be doing her a favor by politely letting her know.

If she does know, then that is her choice. Maybe after having a kid, she doesn't want to just feel like a "mother", and likes the idea of people finding her attractive. If it isn't directed at any specific person, then maybe it is harmless.


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