# what's up



## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

okay am I just being stupid guys,
I'm in the middle of a separation and stupid as I am, I have decided to give it a little more of a try with my husband because he has asked for some time to re-kindle feelings for me...
He is only 3 months out of me finding out about his affair. He tells me he told her they were over when I found out about the affair......
we have an agreement, financial is taken care of now he is suppose to move out and get on with his life without me..
we are going to florida together for the next 14 days, his idea I was going alone.....
i said yes to trying to work things out even sleeping with him which was good.....never been a problem for us.
my problem is that 80% of the time I am the one going to him. 
this is across the board.....hugs, kisses, sex........he is very attentive and sweet with everything else but the contact part is not good on his part......he actually will use excuses headache, tired stuff like that.....
is he just faking, he says he just doens't feel the love he used to for me. 
anyone else live through this, is it hopeless, he was never big on the intimacy part, so maybe expecting to much from him, just thought it would be different than it was.......


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## Sun (Nov 23, 2009)

If he doesn't feel the love then why are you even trying? If he is the one that [email protected] up then he should be the one doing everything possible to make you believe he is sincere. If he was never big on the intimacy part, then what was the affair for? was it a physical affair or an emotional affair? He needs to bend over back wards to prove to you that he wants this otherwise I would question his motives.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

sun a little back ground on the relationship, my husband has been out of love with me for a couple of years according to him he also said he didn't think I loved him either, although he did ask me for a separation a couple of years ago, I ignored it said I didn't want it and that I wanted to work things out....he didn't pushed we just went on.......then in Nov I find out he has had an affair, since then we have talked and I have told him I have always loved him and that I never fell out of love with him just didn't know how to fix things between us......he said he was able to have the affair because of his lack of feelings for me.....he said since I've come clean that it gives him hope and that he doesn't feel the same anymore and that he wants to figure out if we can get back some of the feelings for each other.....he says he wants to take it slowly but I guess the physical part is throwing me a bit......
I realize that after a couple of years of not feeling love for me that it might be tough for him.....we are off to Florida on Sat for a couple of weeks and I'm hoping maybe something will change in him but I understand it might not be possible.....
I was just wondering if any other men have made their way back when they had lost the feelings to make a relationship work, this doesn't for me, I need him to want me so this is my last offer for him to come back to me then if it doesn't happen it might be time to call it quits......


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