# New here



## InsecureWife (Mar 15, 2020)

Hey there, I’m a newly wed. One year in April. Never imagined my first year of marriage would bring me here. We argue so much. Recently I was told our marital problems are because I’m fat. Isn’t that romantic? Are you wondering if I’m fat? Cause I am. I’ve gained some poundage since marriage. Gained some prior as well. I’m a very insecure person (hence my screen name). I’ve been on a strict keto diet AND LOSING weight for about a month now. Not sure why he waited until I started taking control to tell me I’m fat. Should have been mentioned many pounds ago. In my opinion. I understand we have to be attracted to our spouse and gaining weight can certainly be an issue. But the matter in which it was said was absolutely devastating to me. So much arguing. So much resentment. Trying so hard to get back to who we were before we became this.


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## SunCMars (Feb 29, 2016)

Eating is pleasurable, it takes your mind off your problems.

In the end, it puts substantial space between you and your lovers frame of mind.


You know that.

Your' husband is being a jerk. He should help you in this endeavor, not call you names.

Kudos on your journey getting back to a healthy weight.


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## farfalla (Oct 22, 2019)

InsecureWife said:


> Hey there, I’m a newly wed. One year in April. Never imagined my first year of marriage would bring me here. We argue so much. Recently I was told our marital problems are because I’m fat. Isn’t that romantic? Are you wondering if I’m fat? Cause I am. I’ve gained some poundage since marriage. Gained some prior as well. I’m a very insecure person (hence my screen name). I’ve been on a strict keto diet AND LOSING weight for about a month now. Not sure why he waited until I started taking control to tell me I’m fat. Should have been mentioned many pounds ago. In my opinion. I understand we have to be attracted to our spouse and gaining weight can certainly be an issue. But the matter in which it was said was absolutely devastating to me. So much arguing. So much resentment. Trying so hard to get back to who we were before we became this.


You are doing the right thing by getting onto a keto diet and losing weight. 

Is your husband often mean in the way he talks to you, or was this out of character for him?


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

Geez, what a romantic statement to make to his bride! :frown2:

What are your arguments about? 
How does he tie those back to being because of your weight?
How much have you gained in the past 11 months?

Regardless of how much it was, him saying that to you in that way is harsh and unloving. Even more so if it was the first time he said anything to you about it! You need to tell him that if you haven’t. Geez!

Keep working on your diet and exercise to be healthy for _you_. This will benefit many parts of your life. Since your marriage is in stormy waters, do not get pregnant at this point. It could be that he would not make a good father to your children. Time will tell. 

I’m sorry that he hurt you like this. Most people who have never dealt with weight issues have no clue how painful statements like that can be.


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## a_new_me (Dec 27, 2012)

Last man I dated that criticized me about my weight stalked me for years.

It was his way to try to abuse me mentally so he could try to control me. He only had issues with it when he did not know where I was or who I was with....even though I was alway totally open and I was either at College, working, studying, with my kids or cooking him lunch or dinner.

Always be proud of you and do not let people try to take away that power.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Hi, @InsecureWife. Is he generally nasty to you? Or is he being "nasty" because he fears for your health?

And good luck with the diet.  I have managed to lose a good deal of weight with diet and exercise, so I appreciate your efforts.

Have you been checked out by the Doctor? Some recent research suggests that being overweight is not necessarily a cause of Type 2 Diabetes but a precursor of some kind, with weight eing added on due to a problem with insulin production/use.


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## SpinyNorman (Jan 24, 2018)

He shouldn't have said that to you. But on the other side of the coin, think about the things you've said to him, were any of them unfair/hurtful? 

Maybe not, IDK and I'm not accusing you. 

But you want to decrease the arguing(Good for you) and that involves what both of you say.


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## Tilted 1 (Jul 23, 2019)

.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

How's it going, @InsecureWife?


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## Buffer (Dec 17, 2019)

Hi young lady, talk out your issues here there are very knowledgeable people that can help.
Buffer


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