# Finally got closure



## tonyandre (Jun 17, 2009)

To all that have been reading my previous threads, I am very much happy to let everyone know that my wife has been having an emotional affair and has acted on it. I did some research and asked the man's soon to be ex-wife about it and here's what she wrote back:

_There are a million things that I would like to say to you. I have thought about contacting you many times. The latest rumor I heard was that you and Amber were not together anymore, so I didn’t think it would be worthwhile or even welcome.

First of all, I completely understand how hurt you are because I felt the same way. I had suspicions about what was going on when Jeff’s behavior toward me and our kids completely changed in January. He tried to blame our problems on me not accepting his WoW playing and our life not being what he wanted. I found out that it was really about him being in love with someone else when I saw “I love you’s” in their chat conversation on WoW. For about a month, I tried to work things out with Jeff, but he made the decision that he would rather hurt me than stop talking to Amber, so I made him move out. I didn’t know what else to do. She is the reason we are getting divorced. 

As far as what is going on with them, Jeff doesn’t live with me anymore, so I don’t know what’s going on right now. When he was living with me, there were many days that he left very early in the morning and didn’t come home at night and claimed to have slept in his car (very hard to believe). I know he was with your wife because one time I saw a text she sent him afterwards. I think the Cubs game night was one of the nights that Jeff didn’t come home, but I don’t know for sure because he told me that he spent the night at his mom’s house. He told me that he has slept over with your wife, but that he slept on the couch. He admitted that he kissed her. He’s looking for a job in Chicago. 

Sometimes knowing causes more pain, and I’m so sorry that you are going through all of this. I’ve been getting counseling by myself because Jeff refused to go and try to save our marriage. I hope you have support through all of this. Please let me know if you need anything.

Jeannine_

I am very much happy to have found this out. I think this morning I was really hurting, but having talked to a lot of people, my friends, even some of her friends and my family members, I think I can get back on track with my life. Thank you all for your support. It's time for me to focus on myself and not worry about her and what she wants out of life, but what I want out of life. 

Any ideas on how to get an annulment vs. a divorce?


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## Sensitive (Mar 29, 2009)

I am happy you are feeling better. I think many people don't realize there are four people involved in affairs, the two having the affair, and the two hurt spouses. Then there may be innocent kids involved, too. Good luck with the divorce.


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## Dark Angel (Jun 17, 2009)

Yeah really Sensitive, alot of people got burned here.

Im very sorry things didnt work out for you tonyandre, but it might be for the best. Perhaps going through all this will lead you too a happier marriage down the road.

Im assuming a physical affair was a total deal breaker for you. I feel the same way, and really dont think I could ever forgive that.

Keep your chin up and do everything you can to better yourself. Make sure you dont jump into something new right away as you may not be ready and could make some silly mistakes.

Take some time out for yourself. Do the things you love to do and heal a little bit. Then get back in there and make your life the way you want it to be.

Take care.


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