# Job vs. Relationship



## cbachinger (Sep 13, 2007)

Dear All,

I hope this question gets to guys and girls.

They say "you must be ready to put your SO before you at all times" and "You are the most important element in my life" 

How do you balance that with being also closely devoted to your job?

Knowing that you have to go to bed to be fresh and fit the next morning at 6am and your SO wants to go and do something at 10pm. You tell her that you really want to spend time with her and you go out but an hour later you tell her and she says she understands but she also understands that you have put her 2nd and so goes cold and tells you very gently in words that 'it is over'.

How can a man that requires a good rewarding position to support a future family, possibly balance these two demanding elements?


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## Jewel (Nov 5, 2007)

I think it just depends on how much you are willing to sacrifice. You should also explain to each other how much time you wish to dedicate to them and to work respectively. Also, tell them what your plans are ahead of time, so they know that you are too busy to go out at 10.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

cbachinger said:


> Dear All,
> 
> I hope this question gets to guys and girls.
> 
> ...


I once thought that way to, my first wife cheated on me then we divorced. Building money for the future means nothing if you are not putting even more into building your relationship.

draconis


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## jp42 (Nov 20, 2007)

believe me you are not alone. We recently had a baby and so that i may continually learn and evolve in my career, i have resorted to getting up at 4 am so that i can have time at work above and beyond the time that i must actually do work for the company. I try and spend the evening with my wife and son...it is hard she is not working and i feel so much more pressure to perform and succeed yet have much less time to do so...--jp


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

jp42 said:


> believe me you are not alone. We recently had a baby and so that i may continually learn and evolve in my career, i have resorted to getting up at 4 am so that i can have time at work above and beyond the time that i must actually do work for the company. I try and spend the evening with my wife and son...it is hard she is not working and i feel so much more pressure to perform and succeed yet have much less time to do so...--jp


Think of it like a rain barrel you drink from. If you are storing all the water that falls who gets effected when there is noithing to drink? All of you.

draconis


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## tater03 (Jun 29, 2007)

Personally I do understand what you are saying but if you are working this hard for your family what are you going to do if it ends because you are never around? That being said there does need to be give and take on both sides because you do need to work and I understand that but you also have to provide time for the home also.


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## atula (Nov 6, 2007)

Actually this situation is not as simple as it sound when put into words. It is something where both sides are not at fault. I mean we too regularly have a situation when my husband is not around when I need him to share some close family moments because he is working late. Sometimes I am patient and do understand but sometime I too become irritated and tell him that maoney is not needed if the one person you want to spend the money with is not with you....
So it is both of us really who have to balance it out...
I cannot fight for everytime he comes late because his job and career is very important...Like wise he too has to say no sometimes to the buildup pressure at work and get up and go home!


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

It is one of the reasons I told people that although a job might be important, it is so important that it should be considered ahead of the family.

The Cat is in the cradle.

draconis


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## Twineball (Nov 27, 2007)

I think it's insensitive of your significant other to get mad at you for not going out at 10pm when you have to work at 6am. Shouldn't they understand that you can't be out at all hours when you have responsibilities? Most people who work early go out in the evenings and still have a great time, being home by ten. Luckily my wife is level headed about things of that nature.


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

I think much of the argument here is what do you want in the next ten years a wife or a job. Why not make plans to go out on your days off? Point is if your job always comes before your family, then your family will stop putting you first too.

draconis


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