# Lost in loveless marriage



## ac20172 (Aug 5, 2008)

*Need Advice - Lost in loveless marriage*

Thank you.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Hi ac20172,



ac20172 said:


> I have even contemplated having an affair just to have some intimacy in my life, someone to connect with and share with. I don’t think I can, I would really hurt the children. I would even welcome death but I would never commit suicide due to the effect to the children.


If your whole post did not make it clear, the last two sentences do. You have very low self esteem. Your self esteem is so low that you didn't even put your foot down when two woman were running you down to your face.

You must have lacked positive male role models in your upbringing. Most men would not have let the situation develop to the extent that it has in your case. The alarm bells should have been ringing. Maybe they rang but they were very quiet.

You have a duty to give yourself the lifestyle you know you want. Your wife has exploited your lack of backbone. 

Read all you can about low self esteem. Once you find your inner power, once you start loving yourself, your situation will improve. Your wife will either respect you or she will leave you. Or you will leave. Even if you chose to stay, you don't have to be a floor cloth.


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## ac20172 (Aug 5, 2008)

I have stayed and tolerated this crap because of the children. I would not have normally, I hope. That is not to say that I do currently have very low self esteem.


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## MarkTwain (Aug 1, 2008)

Even if you stay on, you don't have to tolerate anything. That is the difference that raising your self esteem will make. With the missing ingredient of loving yourself, you will be able to see what to do next.


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