# Shocking



## Bodhitree (Dec 29, 2011)

For the ladies. You can see my recent sitch titled "Finally" in the infidelity thread -where I found out through old deleted texts my SO was indeed having an affair. Found out it was two dudes (three if you count me), not one, within a short time period. 

It's like she just went haywire, so asking for women's input on this just so I might understand somehow. She had never exhibited behavior like this in our 23 years prior. She was 43 when this happened, only child was gone to college, and she was at a new job. - And what a place it turned out to be. It was like a trucking company. Anyway, please read below. Any insights welcome. Feel free to ask more questions about the sitch. 

I'm still in shock at the vulgarity of the texts and how bold the OM were in all that happened. It's like these dudes both knew that if they pushed the sex talk on the texting that they could get her to do what they wanted. And of course she seemed to be enjoying that. It was even like "I'm gonna F**k you hard tonight" by one dude, and she seemed all too willing to engage. I never knew her to be like this in time with her. It's like either I really didn't know her all that well, or she had a complete breakdown and wanted to become the "f**k and suck queen". 2 dudes within 30 days- make that three if you count me. Wow.


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

I'm not sure what your question is but I am sorry for what happened to you.

The thing about affairs is it makes it seem like your partner has an entirely double life--a personality you aren't even aware of.

Chin up.


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## tom67 (Oct 2, 2012)

Did she reveal this or did you recover these texts?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds like your wife has been in the middle of a mid life crisis. 

Her children are gone. Generally a woman re-evaluates everything in her life once her children are grown. Many women get to feel like they have no purpose. After years of marriage she might also have felt that she was no longer an attractive woman.

then some guys start hitting up on her and she discovers something different within herself. It's not good. keep in mind that this is very similar to what happens to men when they go through a mid life crisis.

How do you think your marriage was before she went down this route?


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## Bodhitree (Dec 29, 2011)

tom67 said:


> Did she reveal this or did you recover these texts?


 I recovered them.



EleGirl said:


> It sounds like your wife has been in the middle of a mid life crisis.
> 
> Her children are gone. Generally a woman re-evaluates everything in her life once her children are grown. Many women get to feel like they have no purpose. After years of marriage she might also have felt that she was no longer an attractive woman.
> 
> ...


Before this happened it had been a struggle. I was in masters program where I was studying every night, I was in last semester. Our daughter had graduated HIS and was a junior in college.

Admittedly I had rarely told her that I loved her. She indicated she felt not that I hated her, but that I was indifferent towards her- which she says was worse yet.

Now, the actual deeds were done two years ago. She quit that job within 4 months, but never told me the truth despite my repeated attempts.

So, I know she felt very lonely. Hope that helps.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Bodhitree said:


> Before this happened it had been a struggle. I was in masters program where I was studying every night, I was in last semester. Our daughter had graduated HIS and was a junior in college.
> 
> Admittedly I had rarely told her that I loved her. She indicated she felt not that I hated her, but that I was indifferent towards her- which she says was worse yet.
> 
> ...


Yes that does help.

I suggest that you read the book "Surviving An Affair" by Dr. Harley. It explains a lot about what probably happened with her.


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