# Divorcing, 18 month visitation schedule?



## kran2523 (Apr 1, 2020)

Hi all - this group helped me 2 months ago when my husband dropped the bomb on me that he doesnt want to be married anymore.

I've learned that he is/was having a workplace affair (we both work for the same company but diff locations). I had to find out from a videochat that she was actually at his house!

Anyways, my baby is 14 months old. My husband left the house a week after he told me and stayed with his parents, is not renting a house 30 minutes away. We are hoping to save where we can without lawyers but I am also not going to be walked on with this divorce and schedule.

Currently, our son has been staying at my house (house bought pre marriage, almost married 2 years). My husband has not asked for any overnights.

He is now wanting to finalize a future schedule before we file (trying to do it online but again I know these things can get nasty). My mom watches our son at my house and has since I went back to work when he was 3 months old.

What has been your experiences with schedules? I don't trust him or his interest in our son. He wants to be a social media dad essentially vs what is right for our son. I know a lot of this doesn't hold up in court since they keep marriage issues separate from the custody piece. 

He has proposed a 50/50.....60/40 or 70/30.....right now he comes here 2 nights a week for 3 hours (to eat dinner and put our son to bed) and gets him 9-6 every other Sat or Sunday. I do not want him at my house anymore. Again, I don't trust him. 

What schedules have you seen at this age? Thanks again any feedback is appreciated.


----------



## bobert (Nov 22, 2018)

He is the child's father and is entitled to 50/50. It really doesn't matter that he had an affair or that you don't trust him. Unless he is actually a risk to the child (and even then...) he is entitled to 50/50.

If he wants less time, then so be it but it's not worth fighting for more. If he really is just putting on a show, then chances are it won't last very long and he will suddenly be missing visits or have "family emergencies". If you don't trust his decision making, then you may want to consider shared physical custody but sole legal custody.

When he suggested 50/50, 60/40 or 70/30, is that in his favor or yours?

Toddlers should only be away from each parent for 2-3 days and they need a lot of predictability. Your child isn't quite a toddler yet (18-36 months) but is close and there is no sense making a schedule that you will change in a few months.

If your STBXH does want 50/50, you will probably want to slowly work up to that rather than shocking the child with a sudden change.


----------

