# wife filed for divorce what to do



## goingthroughhardtimes (Mar 24, 2012)

Ok to probably get the best advice i should start off with a little background info on our relationship. Sorry in advance if its long ill try to keep it short. My wife (24) and myself (27) got married june 18 2011. We have been in a relationship for 5 years and have a 19 month old daughter. For the past 5 years every year she leaves in feb or march and just takes off. No word of leaving any little thing sets her off and she just leaves and stays with her family. This has happened EVERY year for the past 5 years. Well since we are married this time things are quite a bit different for me. She said that she was going to stay at her aunts house for a couple days and then swore that she would come back and talk about things. I work in the oilfield and i am gone for about 5 days outta the week and come home for a day day and half. She left right before i was coming back and since then she hasnt came back been about two weeks. She told me that we were just going to seperate for a little bit which i told her that was fine and that i would give her money etc till she came back. Well after 5 days of her leaving the house she filed for divorce and had me served. Her aunt and uncle who she is living with with our daughter idealy want us to work out our problems. Her step dad (who had molested her when she was 12yrs old) and her mom (both still together never divorced due to molestation) want us to work out our problems. I hated her step dad with a passion we had got into a physical fight once before when she left during a previous year and they are always happy when she leaves me so that they get to see her more. Well this time they are on my side saying shes making a mistake and that she needs to talk to me and work stuff out. Thing is every time she does this every year she just takes off and wont talk to me its going on 3 weeks since she "left" and only thing she will talk to me about is our daughter and when i can get her when i come in from work. Her mom and step dad are trying to talk to her but shes just locking herself up and not talking to anyone. I havent cheated etc i leave for work come home and spend all the time i can with my family. We go for temporary orders on tuesday and im hoping that that will start to open her eyes. She doesnt work and she started cosmetology school and i pay for everything. She hangs out with a bunch of people that are 18-20 single no kids and all they want to do is party. I dont know if its just that she wants to go party and do whatever and not answer to me for saying no if you want to do that we can do that when i come home when we get a babysitter and only after our daughter goes to bed. I love my wife will all myheart but its hard to tell myself that things have happened same time of the year every year. I dont know if this time of the year is when she was molested so something goes haywire in her brain or what. do i just give up on her? she doesnt cook when im home she used to clean but has gotten lazy over the time of the marriage. I provide her with the best of everything but i do monitor how much she spends cause she can go through thousands in a week and doesnt even know where she spent it. My plan was to retire in 3 years by the time im 30 so that i could be home everyday. She doesnt understand that im tight with money cause thats what i want to do. I took out a 30yr note on my house and will have it paid off in a total of 3 years. Should i just let her go not talk to her? it seems that shes hard headed doesnt want to talk and everyone says that she just talks about herself doesnt talk about our daughter what it is going to do to her etc. She hates that her parents got a divorce and wish that they woulda stayed togeteher cause she is the outcast at each family. I dont know what to do to get her to talk its like if she knows that when we talk everything gets worked out and then we are happy again till next feb or march when it cycles all over again.


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## mhhousley (Oct 30, 2012)

I'm sorry for your troubles brother, how are things going? I'm going through a VERY similar situation.


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## ankh (Oct 14, 2012)

i am no expert on this and hope to NEVER speak from personal experience. Suffice it to say that my knowledge comes from observation of friends, and from posts here: It's Cheaper, to keep her. If nothing else, why not frustrate at least two attorneys and keep all that money, instead of enriching them (no disrepect to any honorable and good attorneys here reading this). The longer and more bitter the fight, you might as well, go grab (legally) a couple $10,000.00 bill stacks at your banks and have a little marshmallow roast. Don't bring wood; the $100.00 bills will burn just fine.


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## mhhousley (Oct 30, 2012)

I agree. I told my "WIfe" that if we could work it out we would be a lot better off. HOWEver, she is convinced she is better off drawing her disability and child support than she is with me supporting her and her expensive habits. I thought I was miserable with her but never realized how miserable I was without her. (Sorry, my shift key keeps sticking)


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## Decorum (Sep 7, 2012)

You are still very young and she will not face her problems, give her what she wants (divorce), detach emotionally, maybe at some point she will deal with this, if not just move on. Dont just rugsweep this if she comes back crying and begging.


You have not been married long talk to an attorney to learn your best options.
For a wife and mom to hang with singles and party is wrong, seen it here many times. Do you want to share her with another man?

Do you know who she is seeing, where she is going?

Can you check the cell phone logs?

Talk to the attorney and STOP paying her way for everything, cut off the money supply.

This is no way for you to live, or for your children either, this does not get better with age.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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