# Happy Father's Day to everyone(father or not) How was it?



## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

So I worked most of the day but got to spend it with kids and their mom. She forgot a card again(one by the even would have been nice). Living in the same house it was the same thing.
Had a good day with her and the kids other than the incessant ( are you okay? are you mad?)Apparently I have a gift coming in the mail though.(late as always, but at least I got/get gifts)
I did say my feelings were hurt, because they were. I thought there was a change, but every time things are smooth or good something odd happens or she acts the same. 
It boggles my mind that someone can't handle a situation they choose and continue to pursue. Why continue to make your life worse when it could be better? Fatalists get nowhere in life. If that is what they are "nurtured" in that is what they become, shells of people. 

Sorry to sound so glum( I am in a good mood just reflecting), but how was everyone's Father's Day?


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Mine was fantastic. I spent yesterday with the kids at the county fair, then drove to my parents house. Sent all day with my parents. This was the first time that my parents, all of the kids and grand kids were under their roof all at the same time. Crowded house, but fantastic! I have seen my parents through out everything going on, but I had not seen my sisters in a long time.

The stbxw texted me yesterday saying "I want you to know I am very proud of you." then today she texted "Happty Fathers Day.", and I didn't respond to either. I had one of the kids text her telling her when I would have them back, and she flipped out at the time, and wanted me to call her, so I called her. Fvck what a frustrating conversation. We have both fully agreed now that divorce is going to happen, and I am OK with that, more than OK with it, and we started talking about finances and how much she wants for child and spousal support. Mind you she does not have a job, and is not actively looking for anything other than going back to school and providing before and after school care for kids. She thinks that 800/week is the bare minimum she can get by on and is trying to be fair and not take advantage of me. That translates out 41,600 per year. My weekly check is about 1100, so I would be left with 15,600/year. She is so bad with money, three months behind on the van payment, bouncing checks on her new account...She is delusional...Ummm...yeah...I am lawyering up.


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## toolforgrowth (Apr 24, 2012)

Sam, it sounds like your ignoring her is getting to her already. Dang...that was fast. Lol Good for you. Lawyer up and stand your ground. Once you get to a point where you are ok with losing them, the ENTIRE situation changes. I can see that you had a good day too. Isn't it amazing how great you feel when you unshackle yourself from that huge ball and chain? I was in a state of euphoria for about a month! Still kinda there too.  My kids are great, my lady friend is great, my house is great, my family is great...life really is great!

I'm very happy to see such a positive post from you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

toolforgrowth said:


> Sam, it sounds like your ignoring her is getting to her already. Dang...that was fast. Lol Good for you. Lawyer up and stand your ground. Once you get to a point where you are ok with losing them, the ENTIRE situation changes. I can see that you had a good day too. Isn't it amazing how great you feel when you unshackle yourself from that huge ball and chain? I was in a state of euphoria for about a month! Still kinda there too.  My kids are great, my lady friend is great, my house is great, my family is great...life really is great!
> 
> I'm very happy to see such a positive post from you!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I really prepared myself mentally and emotionally, and thought that ignoring her would be a lot harder on me than it has been, but it has been amazingly easy. I am finding contact to be more annoying than anything else now, and have found standing my ground to feel quite good.

Hope everyone else had a great day too, and would like to hear how things went for others.


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## Mothra777 (Apr 10, 2012)

No Fathers Day in Australia yet...it is 2nd of September this year for us which is also my birthday. I hope I am in a much better place mentally by then!

Anyway - Happy Fathers Day to those who have just celebrated it and are unfortunate to be in this section of the forum. There have been many words of wisdom from some amazing sounding dads on this forum that have gotten me through some of my darkest days. If you pass such confidence and resilience onto your children then they are bound to grow up into amazing people. Hope you all had a great weekend!


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## worrieddad (Nov 3, 2011)

After a bit of a backslidey weekend and apprehension about first Fathers Day not being a family event - I had a great time. Went out with my daughter for breakfast, took her out shopping and bought her a little present she's had her eye on for some time, then back to the pool for a good long swimming session hanging out and playing with others fathers day people and kids. A really nice day, really lifted my spirits.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Yeah, fathers day is about family, and when your wife decides not to be a member of the family anymore, then it is still about family...


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

been separated 18 months but things are looking up...kids were working or out of town (all older)...so the wife and me spent the weekend volunteering at an Irish music festival, got up early Sunday (way to early) to go to services, then spent a lazy day together...

As we went to sleep last night, the wife said "thank you for letting us fall in love again, I wish I could move back home now"...logistics keep us from being together right now, not love...and it was one of the first times sense she moved out that she has referred to the house as home...


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

worrieddad said:


> After a bit of a backslidey weekend and apprehension about first Fathers Day not being a family event - I had a great time. Went out with my daughter for breakfast, took her out shopping and bought her a little present she's had her eye on for some time, then back to the pool for a good long swimming session hanging out and playing with others fathers day people and kids. A really nice day, really lifted my spirits.


I remember my first last year. I love my kids so much, they definitely made it better. This one was better,but wife made it a little odd. I am happy to hear that you had a great one with good people.


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## Agast84 (Dec 26, 2011)

DjF said:


> been separated 18 months but things are looking up...kids were working or out of town (all older)...so the wife and me spent the weekend volunteering at an Irish music festival, got up early Sunday (way to early) to go to services, then spent a lazy day together...
> 
> As we went to sleep last night, the wife said "thank you for letting us fall in love again, I wish I could move back home now"...logistics keep us from being together right now, not love...and it was one of the first times sense she moved out that she has referred to the house as home...


That sounds like a fantastic weekend, I love Irish music. It is great to hear a happy story,I am at about 18months as well she acts different everyday some days she says "I love you" other days she leaves the car as fast as possible.
I am sure it is a hard path you took, regardless of what your situation. I am happy for you.


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