# Unhappy!!!!!!!



## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

Im back.... and I have been trying.. For the ones who know my story well I left tam for a little while thinking that maybe if I didnt read and re-live the nightmare than me and my h would bond. 

Well, its not happening.. Honestly I think its worse.. If we argue, he throws in my face that there isnt anything left between us.. and to be honest there isnt anything on the emotional level or physical. Yes we say we love each other but thats it. If I say that all the emotional/physical part of or marriage ended the night I caught him in his affair. He BLOWS up.. saying that he did no wrong, and I have alot of hate in my heart, I made it out to be somthing it wasnt, I spread his name around as being a cheater which he is not.. etc...

Its bad, and I cant forgive him if he thinks he did no wrong, the only wrong he thinks he did was becoming freinds with her thats it.. So what am I supposed forgive????? 

So to me, I just dont think its worth it anymore.. Im done living in a loveless marriage.. He feels its me because I wont let it go.. I feel that with him not opening up to me and respecting me enough to see the pain and hurt it has cause me his wife than there is no way we can get pass this.. Its been about 10 months since his last contact with OW.. which she already has gotten married and moved out of state.. so long for there freindship he ripped his family apart for a kid who married her babies daddy as soon as he came back in town ( he was overseas for the entire time this was going on) so my point is.. she gone but he still isnt giving me what I feel I need to get over this... 

So what are my options???? If you need back story let me know I will post more later...


----------



## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Some times we just have to let them go. Especially if there is no lesson to be learned on his part.
Then again his he at least trying to affair proof the marriage?


----------



## Paladin (Oct 15, 2011)

Did you guys do MC? You say there is nothing left between you, and that very well may be the truth. He killed all the old stuff. So what are your options? Well, you can both try and build new things together, new experiences, adventures, etc. Try and build a new relationship from that type of work on a foundation of honesty and commitment. Or you could call it quits, and move on with your life to find a man who will love you like you deserve to be loved.


----------



## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

How is he supposed to try to affair proof the marriage???
And its like we butt heads to much now.. the thing is, he will throw it out at me that there is nothing between us when we argue, and he will say its time to divorce and move on. But he doesnt go anywhere.. The very next day he acts like it never happened.. LIKE he is trying to be about the affair ( it never happened) but it did and I cant just pretended it didnt.. 

We can seat in the same room with eachother and not say a word or even hug...

And he rejects all attempts I make to be close to him...... oh yeah he willl kiss me goodbye and say I love you when he leaves for work. but that is.. anything else he says he is to tired... and I just am not getting any attention at all.. I feel like I am in a marriage that will never make it.. I need to feel wanted, I need to feel like a women who husband is in love with her attracted to her.. SOMTHING.... But it all goes back to, if I bring it up..... I wont let anything go.. I wont forgive.. I have hate in my heart.. I nag... its all me.. but I dont bring it up until I cant take it anymore, but all it does is blow up into a nasty hurtfull argument and the rejection feels million more times worse.....

I am lonley and I want to conect with him, I just dont know how to anymore......


----------



## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

Unhappy2011 said:


> Hey it's a thread about me.
> 
> Sorry to hear about your situation, I think it's best to just move on.


Yeah guess it is... funny.. one day maybe it wont be ... it will be a post ... HAPPY... 

and thank you..


----------



## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

I'm so sorry you're in False R. He shows absolutely no remorse and still doesn't own up to the affair.


----------



## Just Tired Of It All (Oct 22, 2011)

This is what I am thinking, I thought that it was R.. but the more I read and the longer time passes.. well it doesnt feel real.

No, the only remorse he shows is saying that it was stupid and it was wrong to be freinds with her.. He does not show any sympathy toward the damage he did to me or our marriage or family... I know that he isnt seeing the girl... she got married.. But maybe somone else.. who knows im confused again...


----------



## messeduplady (May 31, 2012)

You need more from him, he needs to want to give you what you need. If he isn't prepared to do that or doesn't want to, then you need to let him go. You deserve better. Be strong and take care.


----------



## ing (Mar 26, 2011)

HI.
I admired your attempt at R. I think it is always worth a shot when you have so much history. This sounds like false R to me. I don't know if you remember but I went through hell with false R. Multiple attempts and then the coldness. The coldness is hard to bear and in this case it sounds like he wants you to do the heavy lifting. It is just so unfair.

He either pulls his head out of his ass or he goes. Time to play hardball.


----------

