# BetrayedNoMore's Journal



## BetrayedNoMore (Mar 13, 2013)

I have been a long time lurker on this forum and it has helped me tremendously. After reading the horror story that Bullwinkle's thread, I had to start my own. Almost a year ago I found my wife was cheating on me. We have been married for 7 years. The itch was right on time!  

Once I discovered the affair, I exposed her to her family. Hell, she took the loser she was cheating on me with to her father's wedding. Real Classy! So I exposed her to her family, it didn't do much good. Her family already knew and supported it! Cheaters support cheaters. Then the emotional roller coaster began and it lasted for months. Begging, Pleading, gifts, etc. It didn't fix a damn thing except reinforce her belief that it was over. She agreed to an R, I though it was getting better. She was just longing for the POSOM while using me. Right around the time she quit her job and reconnected with the POSOM the light bulb went on! 

I went into the 180 and never left. It has been really hard, I made it so uncomfortable for her that she started sleeping on the couch. She then filed for divorce, I was actually HAPPY she did. Once she filed, we started hashing out the custody agreement. I made it very clear, I will not take anything less than 50/50 and that you would be wasting your time otherwise. It took a while for that to sink in. I wasn't going to the play every other weekend Dad. Then she started looking for a place to live and she wanted to get the custody agreement done right away. It's only been a few months since she moved, but it is like a breath of fresh air!


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Good for you for standing up to her. Ive been going through a lot of emotions lately but I guess today its disgust. I read about what you said about her family being okay with her cheating - I just don't get it anymore. Why does it seem to have become so acceptable? Its like certain people in this world have gone crazy!


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## BetrayedNoMore (Mar 13, 2013)

smallsteps said:


> I read about what you said about her family being okay with her cheating - I just don't get it anymore. Why does it seem to have become so acceptable? Its like certain people in this world have gone crazy!


In my case it is my STBXW's family history, affairs run deep! Her grandparents, her parents, male and female, etc. I am sure history will continue to repeat itself.


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## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

That's really sad. In my case his parents were married until my father in law passed away & think we are the first ones to split up.


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## Finite (Mar 1, 2013)

Are you not sad the woman you once knew and loved is gone?


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## BetrayedNoMore (Mar 13, 2013)

Finite said:


> Are you not sad the woman you once knew and loved is gone?


If I was posting 6 months ago, it would have said yes I missed her dearly. I felt like a POS. I couldn't post then, I was too busy trying to save the marriage. Looking back, I wonder if it was nothing more than a false R. The 180 works, it is hard. Your changing yourself in ways you never experienced in the past. Since that day the light bulb went on, my life has never been the same. She can no longer control me. I went dark to her and focused on my kids. Her yelling did nothing anymore. She thought she was going to plan everything in her life without me. She didn't like the fact I wouldn't go away. It's been a long hard road, it wasn't easy. The more you leave the ex in the dark, the more control of your life you retain.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## justforfun1222 (Feb 6, 2013)

I am sad that your marriage did not work out, but I am happy for you in the fact that you stood up for yourself, and that you are moving one. Sometimes that is just the best thing to do is get on with your life.. Hope the rest of yours is a wonderful one!


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