# What kind of person does this?



## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

I was in the grocery store shopping and a man passed me in the aisle, he nodded while simultaneously doing a ring-check. When I was putting my groceries into my car, he pulled his truck and trailer behind me and asks, "Does he tell you every day how gorgeous you are?" 

Really? He OPENS with an acknowlegement that I'm MARRIED!!!!! I tell him yes, actually, he does. And he then has the nerve to say, "Well, let me know if you ever want to go boat riding." Funny, that's the same time I closed my hatch and he saw my car tag (a personalized tag that encourages sailing skyclad) and I told him I boat ride all I want.

Who does this? And an even better question, Who RESPONDS to this. Does this work for some people? I went home and took a bath!


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## Hardtohandle (Jan 10, 2013)

Well it seems my ex wife does..


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

Unfortunately some women are suckers for any attention.


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

The same people that attempt that through FB and other social media sites. Creepiness is not reserved solely for the internet.


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## harrybrown (May 22, 2013)

Did you let you spouse know about the creep?


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

fishing for the lonly wife ...he probly scores a fair bit.

you know alpha with confidence and all that jaz. some woman who feel neglected with low selfesteem might jump on board with that.

but what they fail to realise is its a one and done see ya later or even if they marry he will be trying to bang everything so it won't last.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

skyclad means without clothing
and yes, told H about the creep


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

chillymorn said:


> fishing for the lonly wife ...he probly scores a fair bit.
> 
> you know alpha with confidence and all that jaz. some woman who feel neglected with low selfesteem might jump on board with that.
> 
> but what they fail to realise is its a one and done see ya later or even if they marry he will be trying to bang everything so it won't last.


I'm guessing the women that respond to this type of come on are only wanting the same thing. A one and done, see ya later!


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

calmwinds said:


> *I was in the grocery store shopping and a man passed me in the aisle, he nodded while simultaneously doing a ring-check. When I was putting my groceries into my car, he pulled his truck and trailer behind me and asks, "Does he tell you every day how gorgeous you are?" *
> 
> Really? He OPENS with an acknowlegement that I'm MARRIED!!!!! I tell him yes, actually, he does. And he then has the nerve to say, "Well, let me know if you ever want to go boat riding." Funny, that's the same time I closed my hatch and he saw my car tag (a personalized tag that encourages sailing skyclad) and I told him I boat ride all I want.
> 
> Who does this? And an even better question, Who RESPONDS to this. Does this work for some people? I went home and took a bath!


I guarantee you this works more often than you would think...


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## workindad (May 7, 2011)

Yes it works. That's why he tried it. Most likely he is a player 

Was he wearing a ring? If yes and you got his plate number... You could let his wife know how friendly he is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

workindad said:


> Yes it works. That's why he tried it. Most likely he is a player
> 
> Was he wearing a ring? If yes and you got his plate number... You could let his wife know how friendly he is.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I've had players tell me how once you find out a ladies insecurity and play on it..you can score at least 50% of the time...especially ladies with what they call "daddy issues" - nauseating to me but I'm told by more than one person how well it works...but then I got cheated on anyway so what the hell do I know...


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Typical hound shot gun approach. Probably did it several times the same day. I'm sorry, you weren't special.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Amplexor said:


> Typical hound shot gun approach. Probably did it several times the same day. I' sorry, you weren't special.


:iagree::iagree: These guys try this on multiple women...they are predators...


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Kind of like the guy that walks right up to a woman at the bar and asks her if she wants to [email protected] 

The guy gets slapped a lot. But he also gets [email protected] a lot.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Didn't notice if he had a ring or not, I was too upset. I was too busy snorting fire. Huge difference between a compliment and a blatant offer.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

calmwinds said:


> Didn't notice if he had a ring or not, I was too upset. I was too busy snorting fire. Huge difference between a compliment and a blatant offer.


Because you are a secure lady with dignity...players fish for the insecure ones....and there is an ocean full of them...many WSs have an almost pathological need for external validation...


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Because you are a secure lady with dignity...players fish for the insecure ones....and there is an ocean full of them...many WSs have an almost pathological need for external validation...


Ya had to go and pollute my ocean...you know how that upsets me. Makes the dolphins vomit.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

calmwinds said:


> Ya had to go and pollute my ocean...you know how that upsets me. Makes the dolphins vomit.


:lol::lol: We can begin the clean up project immediately...


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

JustPuzzled said:


> Thanks. I thought that might me the case, but I had never heard the term. My W and I have taken up sailing recently. Hmm...
> 
> I believe that the answer to your original question is idiots. Idiots do this.


You will love sailing! There really is nothing to compare to being out there with no land in sight and just letting the wind and the sun and the water take over everything. And no one around to see..........whatever, except for you and your spouse.


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## Catherine602 (Oct 14, 2010)

Next time it happens, look over his shoulder and smile vaguely like he is background noise and don't answer. That will cool his game.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## russell28 (Apr 17, 2013)

calmwinds said:


> I was in the grocery store shopping and a man passed me in the aisle, he nodded while simultaneously doing a ring-check. When I was putting my groceries into my car, he pulled his truck and trailer behind me and asks, "Does he tell you every day how gorgeous you are?"
> 
> Really? He OPENS with an acknowlegement that I'm MARRIED!!!!! I tell him yes, actually, he does. And he then has the nerve to say, "Well, let me know if you ever want to go boat riding." Funny, that's the same time I closed my hatch and he saw my car tag (a personalized tag that encourages sailing skyclad) and I told him I boat ride all I want.
> 
> Who does this? And an even better question, *Who RESPONDS to this. * Does this work for some people? I went home and took a bath!


I was wondering why you even gave him the time of day.. a simple disgusted look and continue what you are doing would have worked better.. did you find him attractive? Why the need for a bath, because you had an exchange with him?


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Truthseeker1 said:


> :lol::lol: We can begin the clean up project immediately...


Arrrggghhh!!! BP SNAFU all over again!


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

calmwinds said:


> Arrrggghhh!!! BP SNAFU all over again!


Well players are a pollutant are they not lol


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## bryanp (Aug 25, 2011)

You should never ever respond to creeps like this ever. When you replied to him you were in fact encouraging him. Silence speaks loudly.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

bryanp said:


> You should never ever respond to creeps like this ever. When you replied to him you were in fact encouraging him. Silence speaks loudly.


So twerking would not be the thing to do?


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Amplexor said:


> So twerking would not be the thing to do?


Only if there is a giant foam finger involved!!


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## sinnister (Dec 5, 2010)

Im willing to bet you're an attractive female. A ring on your finger doesn't automatically render you ugly to the opposite sex. Men like sex. 

Therefore men will still hit on you. Even if they know you're married.


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

Well first knee jerk response is you are a "keeper" flat out. My wife told me something similar. She was at Target, I was not with her, she had the little one in tow. That right there would be putting the binders (brakes), on not to mention a fat ring. He said something to the effect, wow your husband is a lucky guy, I hope he appreciates you. Her awesome response was, "Yes he does and you can stop right there as she flashes the ring. His response was "yes but are you happy." She walked away and said more than you could possibly know. This is what she told me. There might be a loss in translation moment, but knowing her she got her point across. I mean this moron just kept fishing and she didn't buy it for a second. Then she used the word I use now and again. What a scumbag. I could't stop laughing that's my girl. My point is probably seeing if low self esteem, coupled by a bad relationship and a few other things he might have a chance. Probably the only way to get lucky. Snake.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Rottdad42 said:


> *Well first knee jerk response is you are a "keeper" flat out. My wife told me something similar. *She was at Target, I was not with her, she had the little one in tow. That right there would be putting the binders (brakes), on not to mention a fat ring. He said something to the effect, wow your husband is a lucky guy, I hope he appreciates you. Her awesome response was, "Yes he does and you can stop right there as she flashes the ring. His response was "yes but are you happy." She walked away and said more than you could possibly know. This is what she told me. There might be a loss in translation moment, but knowing her she got her point across. I mean this moron just kept fishing and she didn't buy it for a second. Then she used the word I use now and again. What a scumbag. I could't stop laughing that's my girl. My point is probably seeing if low self esteem, coupled by a bad relationship and a few other things he might have a chance. Probably the only way to get lucky. Snake.


Secure women with dignity are keepers...they are ladies through and through....absolutely loved your wife's response...but I will say it again for these guys to keep trying it this approach must work a fair amount of times...


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

Truth, you are right about that. I think I'm rubbing off on her. What I do for a living and the things I notice are in turn opening her eyes more and more. I don't want her to be cynical I just want her to be aware. A second more in time could save her and the little one if I'm not around. I think that is the extreme, but it's the way I view things. I get that from being 4th generation lawdog. I know this crap works, that is why they try. Some don't have the gift of being handsome, a good personality etc.. So they use what ever they can find to get in. That's why I say snake. Slither under the door. Long and short, that's why I married her. I smile all the time for no damn reason. Been a long time for that.


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## Truthseeker1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Rottdad42 said:


> Truth, you are right about that. I think I'm rubbing off on her. What I do for a living and the things I notice are in turn opening her eyes more and more. I don't want her to be cynical I just want her to be aware. A second more in time could save her and the little one if I'm not around. I think that is the extreme, but it's the way I view things. I get that from being 4th generation lawdog. I know this crap works, that is why they try. Some don't have the gift of being handsome, a good personality etc.. So they use what ever they can find to get in. That's why I say snake. Slither under the door. Long and short, that's why I married her. I smile all the time for no damn reason. Been a long time for that.


I read an article where they were saying women in the "adult entertainment industry" usually support their boyfriends..these guys latch on to vulnerable women and suck them dry...which is why in this whole cheating discussion I will NOT say women do this or women do that - last time I checked the overwhelming majority of people who cheat do so with the opposite sex..I also do not buy that women are more moral than men either...both views are wrong IMHO


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

Thread jack, why I couldn't have found her in the first place irritates me to no end. Would have saved me a lot of heartache. But, then again I wouldn't be where I'm at now. Life...... go figure. Peace is what I have my man, PEACE!


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Rottdad42 said:


> Thread jack, why I couldn't have found her in the first place irritates me to no end. Would have saved me a lot of heartache. But, then again I wouldn't be where I'm at now. Life...... go figure. Peace is what I have my man, PEACE!


:smthumbup:


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## Red Sonja (Sep 8, 2012)

These types of people (men and women) are not uncommon, i.e. the strangers with their very forward flattery and/or personal inquiries. They are playing on their victims insecurities and always want *something *from them.

I just smirk and  at them as I continue on my way. Speaking just seems to encourage them.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

I'm guessing that advertising on your vehicle that you like to go sailing bare skinned would be considered an open invitation to players and freaks.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Red Sonja said:


> These types of people (men and women) are not uncommon, i.e. the strangers with their very forward flattery and/or personal inquiries. They are playing on their victims insecurities and always want *something *from them.
> 
> I just smirk and  at them as I continue on my way. Speaking just seems to encourage them.


Eye contact encourages them!

Its been my experience that persona has a great amount of influence, and as sad as it is, ones persona directly relates to being a " victim " or not.

Sometimes the middle finger is more about protecting ones marriages then it is about being rude!


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

In addition, folks think being a b1tch is a bad thing.

Mrs. the-guy has many tools to affair proof her marriage, and keeping her eyes wide open at this kind of crap is one of them.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Sailing skyclad sounds a lovely idea. But please remember to wear all over sun bkock, always wear a life jacket and ensure that you have somewhere to attach your safety line to. And, if legal, carry a pepper spray to deal with idiots like him! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Healer (Jun 5, 2013)

Truthseeker1 said:


> I've had players tell me how once you find out a ladies insecurity and play on it..you can score at least 50% of the time...especially ladies with what they call "daddy issues" - nauseating to me but I'm told by more than one person how well it works...but then I got cheated on anyway so what the hell do I know...


Nauseating yes, and so true it's basically a cliche.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Truthseeker1 said:


> I've had players tell me how once you find out a ladies insecurity and play on it..you can score at least 50% of the time...especially ladies with what they call "daddy issues" - nauseating to me but I'm told by more than one person how well it works...but then I got cheated on anyway so what the hell do I know...


I think this very much describes my WS. I have documented this a bit in my thread some time back. I guess you are talking about the type of relationship where the daughter felt she had to "perform" to live up to expectations or to get some type of feedback / love from a father who was incapable of giving?

The player appears when things are rocky and she's reeled in.

Really hate that no matter the improvements I make I am still defined by this. You can move fwd but you cannot undo being cuckolded. 

For a bloke it is very much a matter of honor. That's why I can't be sure what will happen the day I meet this POS. And meet him I will.


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Truthseeker1 said:


> Because you are a secure lady with dignity...players fish for the insecure ones....and there is an ocean full of them...many WSs have an almost pathological need for external validation...


How do those in relationships identify this trait and if they can what might they do personally and collectively to prevent a disaster?


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## azteca1986 (Mar 17, 2013)

Horizon said:


> How do those in relationships identify this trait and if they can what might they do personally and collectively to prevent a disaster?


Well one way would be that she doesn't rely on someone else for her own well-being (external validation from strangers). Not her husband. Not some loser predator in Walmart. A genuine marriage-friendly compliment is received graciously; anyone hitting on her gets shot down in flames (as calmwinds & Roodad42's wife did)


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

I think bottom line is what are you prepared to do when the flattery begins. Another example. We were in target the other day. Getting ready to pay for our goods, the cashier asks for my I.D. Wine. Anyway she looks at my parole picture on my D.L. and says this is not you. Lost a few pounds. She went on to compliment me, too much. I said in turn, thank you I did it for me and too keep my wife interested. Which is silly to say. I left it at that. She kept going, I politely said Soooo how much is it. She got the hint. My perception of that is she know it went too far and my wife saw that I was a bit uncomfortable and I was trying to respect her in the same brush stroke. Fine line I was walking, but the wife understood what I was attempting to squash. Now reading that makes me think I could have done a bit better in stopping that, but my wife said It was obvious that you were uncomfortable with that and you stood your ground. She also know that I would have done that whether she was there or not. Validation is healthy I get enough of that from the wife, I work hard to keep myself fit. Vice versa to the wife. That's why I say she is a keeper. I hope we can do this for many years to come. Feels good to hear it from your spouse, but that is just me.


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

Chaparral said:


> I'm guessing that advertising on your vehicle that you like to go sailing bare skinned would be considered an open invitation to players and freaks.


He saw me inside the store first. The second encounter when he came around the lot, my hatch was up. He wouldn't have seen it. 

H's tag is similar to mine


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## Squeakr (May 1, 2013)

Approached you in the store first. You don't know when or where he first saw you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## calmwinds (Dec 10, 2012)

MattMatt said:


> Sailing skyclad sounds a lovely idea. But please remember to wear all over sun bkock, always wear a life jacket and ensure that you have somewhere to attach your safety line to. And, if legal, carry a pepper spray to deal with idiots like him!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


YOU are hilarious! I do have spray sunblock, AND a good tan (the two are not exclusive). Life jackets close by, but I don't like foul seas like H does (he believes "We ain't leanin' till someone's screamin') although on longer trips sometimes the rough weather is unavoidable...I have spent an entire night with the boat heeled over far enough that I was STANDING on the bulkhead while lying in bed pretending to sleep. Not fun.

Oh, and pepper spray? Some who know my story know I have lost two sisters. One to suicide, the other murdered, after having been abducted IN A PARKING LOT. I have ever since (I was 12) had an irrational fear of anyone in my personal space in a parking lot, and I do not park in parking garages unless with my H or one of my boys. Which makes me think, that probably had a lot to do with my reaction, or lack of one, to this creep. I'm very confident most everywhere. I work ER and deal frequently with psychotics and mean drunks without being intimidated, and I also teach yoga and am not afraid to speak to a group. But that makes a lot of sense to me now, why I couldn't manage to say anything until I closed my hatch. Didn't consider that.


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## Chaparral (Jul 17, 2011)

So sorry to hear about your sisters. Prayers


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

Calmwinds, I have a lot of empathy for you right now. I think that situation for was a trigger. Losing family members in this way is not what god or whomever intended. But by the grace of said deity, we move forward. That happening to my wife and daughter would put me in a padded room for a few. I lost my dad, I actually watched him take his last breaths, such as the day he saw me take my first, coming into this world. My grandmother the following year. These were natural causes so to speak and the hurt and pain was awful. Back to you, having this POS do that I think I would have emptied that bottle of pepper spray on him and say sorry if it wasn't justified. Oooops I am so sorry, I thought you were someone else kind of thing  You always have to watch your six (butt). Time and experience has at least taught me that.


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## Rottdad42 (Nov 26, 2012)

I also agree with a few others about compliments. I had a co-worker come to the casa for work stuff. Met the wife for the first time along with the little. Nice guy, family man, dedicated to them and I have known him for 15 years. His compliment was she (daughter) was a cuttie pie and will grow up to look like her mom. This is an innocent comment. To me, to the wife and the little one. If it came from a stranger at the store it might be crossing the line for some. A way in so to speak. I guess you just have to consider the source and use your best judgement.


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