# Anybody else just feeling



## PickingupthePieces (May 7, 2014)

That the slighest crack in the window of any hopes for R is crashing down quickly.

I told my story at the end of another thread (eyesopen) it was a true inspiration and I felt that it needed to be kept alive for others to view.

But I have hardly anyone to talk with and feel like letting it out abit here to people I know who have been through similar despair and have proof positive info to provide.

My marriage of 17 yrs with 2 wonderful kids 5,11 was flipped on its head 4 weeks ago by the bombshell my stbx dropped about an affair she is having.

I had no idea whatsoever, we were the ideal family who did everything together.
We eat dinner together everynight, shopping, marketing, school functions, sports you name it.

Of course looking back I see the subtle hints and clues that I neglected, but never thought this could happen to me/us. 

My life is utterly devastated and and the pains for my kids is unimagineable.

Its been only 4 weeks since she told me but it seems like a lifetime in my head.
The what ifs and why nots consumed me the 1st few weeks but I have recently come to the conclusion that I cant do anything about those.

We had about 5 days of solid makeup (probably her guilt) but that quickly turned into me pushing her farther away as I tried everything in my power to show her love, be affectionate , while trying to coherse her into believing this was all just a mistake a huge correctible mistake. 

My 1st response was lets fix this mess and get over it, followed by anger and resentment and visions of divorce. We agreed to try MC and after 2 feable sessions that seemed to make my wife angrier than before entering, we have abandoned that.

We have now come to the conclusion divorce is our best option.
Yesterday we had our mediation consultation and Im realistically hoping to get the kids 50-50, but it still absolutely breaks my heart to only get to see my own flesh and blood half of the time because of her selfish affair.

I know divorce is my only option, I know divorce will be my personal closure that allows me to move on, I know divorce is inevitible, but I just cant seem to handle the repricussions of divorce right now.

I hate her so much for doing this to my family and me, yet I love her so much that it makes my head spin. Is there any sanity with this.

I like others, have lost 20 lbs or so, cant eat or sleep
(Although each is getting a bit better by the day)

I have serious issues dealing with the idea my family is destroyed, my kids life is completely altered and she easily moves on (most likely with mr w)
I dont drink or do drugs, how in the hell do you folks cope with this, at this time?

Yesterday stbx says Im moving way to fast with mediation, divorce etc and wants to know why? Why cant I just give her some space to try and figure things out.
This makes me think, but ultimately she chose our fate and we both know that. I know I need to stay strong for the kids and there is truely only 1 option.
It just hurts so much knowing that she can so quickly move on, but Im forced in anguish to watch it all go by.

I love my kids to death and will be a stronger daddy for all of this, and understand thats got to be my focus.

This morning before leaving for work I kissed my wife good bye (1st time in over a week) as I was on my way to a big meeting in NYC and left it at that.

After my meeting I called her to tell her I was headed for the train to head back home (where I am typing now) and my emotions get the best of me. I tell her I love her very much.
And her response is:
Im so sorry I hurt you!

Thus the title of my thread
Anybody else feel the slight window of R crashing down quickly.

Sorry this was so long!


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

Read two things.

Dobson's Love Must be Tough. Learn how to handle a retreating spouse. Learn how to lead, not chase. Your wife's reaction to moving swiftly on mediation is classic. D is getting real for her and she's scared.

Read my thread stickied in Reconciliation. We are 7 years post D-Day, still together and very thankful we didn't give up.


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## PRL (May 1, 2014)

My heart goes out to you. I am in the same situation right now...my bomb was dropped on me about 11 days ago. I was too overbearing and she was too passive (co-dependent) and it led to the passion leaving our marriage. I got the ILYBINILWU line too. Normally that's when a spouse is cheating, the line they use, in my case my wife had enough respect for me to not cheat (she was cheated on a lot before she got with me nearly 20 years ago so it's always been a sensitive issue with her that she doesn't take lightly.) What I suspect happened based on what she's told me...she developed a "crush" on a mutual friend she would talk to a lot. Although she hasn't said it...I think this "crush" scared the **** out of her and was her wake-up call that something was wrong with us. The guy she has the crush on has no idea. However that still hurts that she had to turn to someone else. She loves talking on the phone and she has a co-dependency issue overall (meaning it's not an exclusive "marriage problem") we both tried to get him off substance abuse because he almost died. Well being co-dependent, and being neglected by me because I was an idiot, it's hard for me to not understand why it happened, it's technically my fault too...it's was my responsibility as a husband to take care of her and I failed...we failed each other really. When I asked her why it happened she said..."Why do you think? He's an addict! A Co-dependent's dream man!" So at least she identifies it right...but I'm sure she still has the "crush" and that's hard to accept. So not cheating really as she'd be sitting right next to me talking to him, a mutual friend...she never talked sexual or anything even remotely close to that but he would listen to her talk for hours. Now I see what an idiot I was...I just didn't think anything of it because she was sitting right next to me. I just thought she liked to talk on the phone and the guy I'm talking about doesn't stop talking either so...i was just blind I guess.
We've always been very close friends, even before we started dating...so we still love each other very, very much. I respect her, she didn't go cheat on me, she saw the desire come, it scared the **** out of her, so she had to tell me. We are helping each other through this nightmare here together in our apartment before we go our separate ways when our lease is up.
Easily the most horrible days of my life so I feel your pain my friend. I was totally and completely blindsided when she told me.....my life fell apart in about 3 seconds....just like that.
So you ARE NOT ALONE suffering terribly right now...if that helps! Good luck!


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

She is setting you up as plan B in case loverboy fall thru. That is why she is complaining you are going too fast.

Sorry you are here.

Think long and hard if you are the kind of man who can get past the fact another man has shot his load inside your woman. Sorry for the blunt but think on it.


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Btw nicing women back wont work. You look weak. Women hate weak. Heal you. Do stuff for you.

Btw being super dad works like puppies in the park for attracting single moms when you are ready.

Gonna page mach here. Hes better than me on attraction. Imresident spy here.


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## PickingupthePieces (May 7, 2014)

weightlifter said:


> Btw nicing women back wont work. You look weak. Women hate weak. Heal you. Do stuff for you.
> 
> Btw being super dad works like puppies in the park for attracting single moms when you are ready.
> 
> Gonna page mach here. Hes better than me on attraction. Imresident spy here.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

PickingupthePieces,

I know that what you are going through is hard, very hard as I’ve been through it before. Most here have.

Whether you get a divorce or give reconciliation a chance is your choice of course. I do think however that you are moving very fast. You are only 4 weeks out from finding out about her affair. It takes 2-5 years to recover from an affair. 4 weeks hardly even enough time to figure out what’s going on.

I’m not sure why the MC sessions failed. It sounds like your wife has a lot of built up anger. Do you know what her anger is about? 

Have you looked into what would need to be done to reconcile? A good number of people do go on to reconcile after infidelity. Many say that their marriage is much better afterwards as the affair has made them both re-evaluate and restructure their marriage. 

Do you know if your wife has ended the affair? 

Has she established no contact with him? 

Do you know who the OM (other man) is?

Is the OM married?

If the two of you divorce, it’s unlikely that she will end up with the OM. Only about 3% of affairs ever last and turn into anything real. They don’t survive because they are based on fantasy.


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## PickingupthePieces (May 7, 2014)

PickingupthePieces said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks for the replies.
Chances of R are at about 2% on the high side now.
We are still living together and I can't help (for better or worse) irritating her at every opportunity I get.
Tonight I came right out and asked if a good mother or father would do this to their family? Fair question?
She gets very upset when her motherhood skills are question, because quite frankly she was a great mother for 10.5 years.
But the undeniable truth is that the proof is in the pudding. I asked if her best friends husband did this to her would you consider him a good father?
No answer. When I'm with her I hate her, when I'm not I think life is empty.
I just need to man up and get this D going, but need to consider a few things.
If she leaves the house (prior to any legal agreements)under terms agreeable by both for the kids, does she have any mortgage responsibilities if its half in her name?
What about separating instead of divorcing right away?
Not for R purposes, but for me to get time to gather some$ to buy the house out and to set a presidency with future judge about being a great dad half the time hoping to guarantee similar future arrangements. One negative is she would still be accruing my pension credits.
Any suggestions on this?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

PickingupthePieces said:


> My marriage of 17 yrs with 2 wonderful kids 5,11 was flipped on its head 4 weeks ago by the bombshell my stbx dropped about an affair she is having.


"The Experts" say the two most dangerous periods for WWs is 4-7 (Seven Year Itch) and 12-14 (Round Two) years into a relationship. Alternatively, other "experts" say the hot zone is when the youngest child is around age 4. Sounds like your WW is hitting on all cylinders. 

Is she about 40?

How long has the affair been going on? 

Does she work and who makes more?



PickingupthePieces said:


> I had no idea whatsoever, we were the ideal family who did everything together.
> We eat dinner together everynight, shopping, marketing, school functions, sports you name it.
> 
> Of course looking back I see the subtle hints and clues that I neglected, but never thought this could happen to me/us.
> ...


Pain for the kids is just starting. In fact, I would say that trying to avoid that pain is the one and only reason to consider the big R. People don't like it, but the evidence is pretty overwhelming IMHO that kids do better all around in an intact household with both biological parents.

However, if you don't have kids, and sometimes even with kids, it's just about always best to divorce. It's much easier on the BH. The WW, with rare exception, doesn't seem to be bothered too much either way. If your wife is the rare exception, you might consider R.



PickingupthePieces said:


> Its been only 4 weeks since she told me but it seems like a lifetime in my head.
> The what ifs and why nots consumed me the 1st few weeks but I have recently come to the conclusion that I cant do anything about those.
> 
> We had about 5 days of solid makeup (probably her guilt)


Hysterical bonding? Constant sex?



PickingupthePieces said:


> but that quickly turned into me pushing her farther away as I tried everything in my power to show her love, be affectionate , while trying to coherse her into believing this was all just a mistake a huge correctible mistake.


Yeah, that's all the wrong thing to do.



PickingupthePieces said:


> My 1st response was lets fix this mess and get over it, followed by anger and resentment and visions of divorce. We agreed to try MC and after 2 feable sessions that seemed to make my wife angrier than before entering, we have abandoned that.


MC is pretty much a waste of time.



PickingupthePieces said:


> We have now come to the conclusion divorce is our best option.
> Yesterday we had our mediation consultation and Im realistically hoping to get the kids 50-50, but it still absolutely breaks my heart to only get to see my own flesh and blood half of the time because of her selfish affair.


Smart move to go balls to the wall for divorce. It counters the devaluation of the BH that all WWs do in their head and shows her that she was wrong and you are a take charge manly man who is decisive and doesn't screw around with betrayers. This is sometimes the shock and awe wake up call for a WW to stop, express remorse, and return to the marriage.



PickingupthePieces said:


> I know divorce is my only option, I know divorce will be my personal closure that allows me to move on, I know divorce is inevitible, but I just cant seem to handle the repricussions of divorce right now.


If it's what you need it's what you need. My brother went straight to divorce after getting confirmation while he was deployed, but it's easy to do that when kids aren't involved.



PickingupthePieces said:


> I hate her so much for doing this to my family and me, yet I love her so much that it makes my head spin. Is there any sanity with this.


No. The crack-like addiction that WWs have for the OM(s), the instant flushing of the BH and kids, plus the marriage rewrites and rationalization hamsterism is total insanity.

I'll spare you the details, but there is host of brain chemistry that makes affair sex about the hottest sex a woman can have that doesn't involve controlled substances. Also, semen is full of mood elevating drugs and that's why affair sex is unprotected sex. The combination of all that chemistry makes the WW high and bonded to her new man. It's very tough to break through this chemical fog with reality, because her rationalization hamster is going nuts trying to keep her convinced this is all meant to be and you caused it all for impersonating her "soul mate" who was really this other guy all along that she hadn't met yet.



PickingupthePieces said:


> I like others, have lost 20 lbs or so, cant eat or sleep
> (Although each is getting a bit better by the day)
> 
> I have serious issues dealing with the idea my family is destroyed, my kids life is completely altered and she easily moves on (most likely with mr w)


Is this guy single or married?



PickingupthePieces said:


> Yesterday stbx says Im moving way to fast with mediation, divorce etc and wants to know why?


Sometimes, if you're a big enough hard ass and go straight for D, you can temporarily clear away the fog. Maybe that's what's happening. Too soon to tell, but being a hard ass makes you attractive to women's (even WWs) limbic autonomic sexual attraction programming.



PickingupthePieces said:


> Why cant I just give her some space to try and figure things out.


Nope. No space and no time. In or out. Right now. But only if you want to try for R. If you don't want R for sure, after carefully considering the ramifications of D, then just tell her it's a one way door and she's out.



PickingupthePieces said:


> This makes me think, but ultimately she chose our fate and we both know that. I know I need to stay strong for the kids and there is truely only 1 option.
> It just hurts so much knowing that she can so quickly move on, but Im forced in anguish to watch it all go by.
> 
> I love my kids to death and will be a stronger daddy for all of this, and understand thats got to be my focus.
> ...


Sorry she hurt you, but not sorry she was banging the new guy. How cliche. If you don't know why, just reread what I said about it being the hottest sex she ever had. D or R, She'll deny sex had anything to do with it. Like hell, it didn't.



PickingupthePieces said:


> Thus the title of my thread
> Anybody else feel the slight window of R crashing down quickly.


R is not her call, it's your call. She's asked you to slow down, your counter is to ask her if she wants to come back into the marriage which means no contact, draconian restrictions on her actions which vary depending on the circumstances of the affair, etc. It's all or nothing. In or out. If she doesn't agree to that or you are unwilling to offer that, then it's over and you should proceed with D.

What do YOU want or THINK you want? Do you want her back?


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## PickingupthePieces (May 7, 2014)

Wows hanks I know that took a lot if time and effort 
I really appreciate that and this is why belittled men who feel smaller than rat turds post their guts out on open forums like such.
Where to begin
The affair supposedly grew over several months culminating in the one sexual confrontation 4 weeks ago. I believe it's still ongoing though now but was cutoff during our huge 1 week lets work this out farce.
She works and in fact up until last year (new job closer to home) made more than me for about 14 of our 17 years. We both have good jobs. I hope that the judge would consider all years of work history not just the 1 last year that she took the new job?
He is married, and they are separating. Him and my wife conveniently used each other to get what they are lacking, while destroying both families.
Sweet!
At this point, as I have stated I need to move, I know this but am hurt for the kids.
I also know the financial ramnifications are brutal for me go figure.
Your ***** of a wife leaves you after 17 years via an affair and she stands to get custody of the kids, CS and my god damned pension
Who the hell makes these laws?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PickingupthePieces (May 7, 2014)

Forgot to ask what opinions does anyone have about just separating for awhile rather than divorce right away.
Again not for R purposes, more for financial reasons and earning child care credits so to speak with future judges if need be.
Also anybody out there from upstate Ny Albany area with hard core attorney referrals?
I have an attorney but not 100% sold on him if these get ugly, which I'm trying to avoid but have some troubles with.
For obvious reasons.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

PickingupthePieces said:


> Wows hanks I know that took a lot if time and effort
> I really appreciate that and this is why belittled men who feel smaller than rat turds post their guts out on open forums like such.
> Where to begin
> The affair supposedly grew over several months culminating in the one sexual confrontation 4 weeks ago. I believe it's still ongoing though now but was cutoff during our huge 1 week lets work this out farce.
> ...


You can most likely get 50/50 custody. As a working women, has your wife been the primary care taker of your children? Talk to an attorney about this.

Does she have a pension from her work?


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## PickingupthePieces (May 7, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> You can most likely get 50/50 custody. As a working women, has your wife been the primary care taker of your children? Talk to an attorney about this.
> 
> Does she have a pension from her work?


I hear in NY 50/50 is not easy, but I think and she told the mediator this is what she wants.
She has a 401k that will be a wash with an annuity I have that subsidizes my pension.
Bad news for me again
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PickingupthePieces (May 7, 2014)

We both take care of the kids, we are both home each night and share the responsibility.
However I wasn't always as prudent as I have been lately and fully expect to hear that come up.
She definetly did do more with certain things but i did others more as well.
But I always try to get out of work for dr visits if possible, same with school functions and running the kids around for sports and other activities 
Bottom line is I'm a good dad, she can't argue that and win!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

PickingupthePieces said:


> I hear in NY 50/50 is not easy, but I think and she told the mediator this is what she wants.
> She has a 401k that will be a wash with an annuity I have that subsidizes my pension.
> Bad news for me again


What do you mean that it be a 'wash'. Do you mean that basically what you have in your pension is about what she has in her 401K?


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## PickingupthePieces (May 7, 2014)

EleGirl said:


> What do you mean that it be a 'wash'. Do you mean that basically what you have in your pension is about what she has in her 401K?


No 
Her 401k doesn't have much in it, I have an annuity almost equal to her 401k in addition to my main pension.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

OP. I brought Mach here for a reason. Listen to him. CLOSELY.


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## Amplexor (Feb 13, 2008)

PickingupthePieces said:


> Forgot to ask what opinions does anyone have about just separating for awhile rather than divorce right away.


My personal opinion is that separation does little. Either gut it out together or move on. Especially if kids are involved. I think it's tougher on them to provide false hope. (2% chance of success) 

She's admitted the affair, is unwilling to commit to the marriage so you need to begin to move on with your life.

You have a lot of questions on the finances. See a lawyer ASAP. Research your state's custody and divorce laws. Understand your rights.

Stop with the snarky remarks. Take the high road. Be civil but don't engage her in arguments. Carry yourself with confidence when you are around her and spend time away doing your own thing.

Even if divorce is inevitable, read LMBT.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

PickingupthePieces said:


> Thanks for the replies.
> Chances of R are at about 2% on the high side now.
> We are still living together and I can't help (for better or worse) irritating her at every opportunity I get.


Okay, here's where the real counter-intuitive stuff comes in, assuming you are going to shoot for the 2% chance at R. Women are attracted to men who don't really give a damn and can replace WW's easily. This will be denied, but WWs have chosen to hand over control of their actions from the rational pre-frontal cortex to the autonomic instinctive biological programming in the limbic system (controls animal sexuality). 

Her hind brain is running her life with little or no input of reason and responsibility from the cortex. When you bargain or berate or otherwise show you want to stay with her, you devalue yourself to her as an unworthy mate who is probably not able to get another woman. This is important because women gain status among other women from the man they are with. She has decided, consciously or subconsciously it makes no difference, that OM ranks higher than you. She's been devaluing you this way for a long time and because she doesn't see other women trying to move on you, she equates her waning attraction (a natural LTR cycle) with the idea that you are sexually repulsive to all women, not just her. Women want the same top tier of men, especially if the man already has a woman/women. Your wife doesn't see you in that top tier and your attempts to save the marriage confirm this to her autonomic programs. Let's face it, a man with a harem of women (as in the past) is much less concerned with what one of his wives does compared to man in a monogamous marriage who is much more invested in his home life and child raising than our ancestors were. 



PickingupthePieces said:


> Tonight I came right out and asked if a good mother or father would do this to their family? Fair question?
> She gets very upset when her motherhood skills are question, because quite frankly she was a great mother for 10.5 years.
> But the undeniable truth is that the proof is in the pudding. I asked if her best friends husband did this to her would you consider him a good father?
> No answer.


Of course there is no answer. You're not interacting with her limbic programming at all and the cortex, which is what you are trying in vain to address (her ability to reason) is not even engaged and hasn't been for some time. Those brainsex chemicals we discussed are the reasons. They keep her reason and responsibility, as inadequate as those may be in the best of times, out of the equation.



PickingupthePieces said:


> When I'm with her I hate her, when I'm not I think life is empty.


You need to lay down the law. Tell her that as long as you are still married she needs to send a no contact and account for her time and presence.



PickingupthePieces said:


> I just need to man up and get this D going,


Whether you D or R in the end, D is probably the single most powerful weapon in your arsenal to end the affair. At least, legal weapon.



PickingupthePieces said:


> If she leaves the house (prior to any legal agreements)under terms agreeable by both for the kids, does she have any mortgage responsibilities if its half in her name?


Usually, but check with your attorney, which you should do ASAP.



PickingupthePieces said:


> What about separating instead of divorcing right away?


No. Separating is merely a time cushion WWs want to sample what life would be like getting regularly plowed by OM and/or others without you looking over her shoulder and seeing her comings and goings. R or D.



PickingupthePieces said:


> Not for R purposes, but for me to get time to gather some$ to buy the house out and to set a presidency with future judge about being a great dad half the time hoping to guarantee similar future arrangements. One negative is she would still be accruing my pension credits.
> Any suggestions on this?


No benefit. R or D. If you decide to R later, you can always halt the D.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

PickingupthePieces said:


> Wows hanks I know that took a lot if time and effort
> I really appreciate that and this is why belittled men who feel smaller than rat turds post their guts out on open forums like such.
> Where to begin
> The affair supposedly grew over several months culminating in the one sexual confrontation 4 weeks ago.


Yeah, that's what's called a lie. 



PickingupthePieces said:


> I believe it's still ongoing though now but was cutoff during our huge 1 week lets work this out farce.


Whether or not you R or D, you need intel on this. If you think you might want R, you need to VAR and GPS the car. Keylog her computer, etc. NY is a "for cause," i.e. adultery, divorce state but this not for D purposes, so don't discuss VAR and GPS with your attorney or anyone else, just do it. If you opt for adultery divorce, attorney will have a PI he uses to get proof for court. 

Also, you never tell your WW what your intel sources are. Never.



PickingupthePieces said:


> She works and in fact up until last year (new job closer to home) made more than me for about 14 of our 17 years. We both have good jobs. I hope that the judge would consider all years of work history not just the 1 last year that she took the new job?


Her making more money isn't good for attraction. You need to talk to your attorney.



PickingupthePieces said:


> He is married, and they are separating. Him and my wife conveniently used each other to get what they are lacking, while destroying both families.
> Sweet!


Contact his BW and compare timelines. It's possible she has more info on how often and how many times. Something happened to cause your wife to confess, most likely he was busted by his BW. Find out from her, not your WW.



PickingupthePieces said:


> At this point, as I have stated I need to move, I know this but am hurt for the kids.


Why in the hell would you move out? What's your thinking on this?



PickingupthePieces said:


> I also know the financial ramnifications are brutal for me go figure.
> Your ***** of a wife leaves you after 17 years via an affair and she stands to get custody of the kids, CS and my god damned pension
> Who the hell makes these laws?


Who has the majority of the votes? Women and their male enablers.


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

PickingupthePieces said:


> I hear in NY 50/50 is not easy, but I think and she told the mediator this is what she wants.
> She has a 401k that will be a wash with an annuity I have that subsidizes my pension.
> Bad news for me again


File under adultery and go for full custody. You won't get it, but you might do better than 50/50. Your lawyer will advise. See him today.



PickingupthePieces said:


> We both take care of the kids, we are both home each night and share the responsibility.
> However I wasn't always as prudent as I have been lately and fully expect to hear that come up.
> She definetly did do more with certain things but i did others more as well.
> But I always try to get out of work for dr visits if possible, same with school functions and running the kids around for sports and other activities
> Bottom line is I'm a good dad, she can't argue that and win!


None of that has anything to do with why she had an affair(s). Notice that "s" on the end? This may not be her first rodeo, since you didn't even know about this one and had to be told. Tell your wife you're going to DNA the kids and then do it. I don't care if they look like your clones, do it. It's to send a message of scorched earth. Scored earth is scary, but its attractive.

Here's a quote from a man that women feared and loved. He had so many women that one in every 200 living men living on this planet today is his direct descendant.

"The greatest joy for a man is to defeat his enemies, to drive them before him, to take from them all they possess, to see those they love in tears, to ride their horses, and to hold their wives and daughters in his arms."

Be ruthless.


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## movealong (Aug 9, 2013)

Damn, I wish I would have had this advice about 7 months ago. Instead I did EVERYTHING wrong. I advise you to seriously read, comprehend,and implement what Mach and WL have said here. Do it TODAY.


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## Baablacksheep (Aug 29, 2013)

Machiavelli said:


> File under adultery and go for full custody. You won't get it, but you might do better than 50/50. Your lawyer will advise. See him today.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Who was thus ?


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## Baablacksheep (Aug 29, 2013)

This


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## Machiavelli (Feb 25, 2012)

Baablacksheep said:


> Who was thus ?


Genghis Khan


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## PickingupthePieces (May 7, 2014)

Mach
I need some input here again please 
Stbx (not quick enough) is moving out into an apartment in 2 weeks, we are supposed to have our 1st mediation the 20 th right before her move. 
At this mediation we are supposedly having temp/perm custody arrangements written up.
What if she backs out if the Mediation. And all I have is a verbal agreement amongst the 2 of us for the kids?
Right now we are planning to share a 2-2-5-5 type system and I'm nervous she will skip out on the mediation all together.
She's playing the victim role to a T, in fact tonight she tells me she is 5 minutes from calling the police for badgering and verbal abuse (comical)
She makes a pt to say everything we talk about becomes badgering.
I told her that I called my atty and let him know she was playing this card and threatening to use it soon, to just get it on the record.
I have 2 weeks to avoid her until she's gone, and it won't be easy.
She knows she instigates arguments with comments like her new Mr W will be over my/ our house helping her move her stuff out.
Am I effing crazy for fighting this or do I let it happen and let her move the **** out ?
It's hard to believe where this has gone in less than 4 weeks.
I don't see mediation working as she plays the I'm a victim card over and over.
I desparately want to keep my mouth shut but she pushes all the right buttons and reverses the badgering accusations constantly
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## weightlifter (Dec 14, 2012)

Carry a var at all times to refute her.


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