# Can you really be honest and loving towards someone if you are not sexually satisfied



## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

I am still bothered by women in this forum (with the exception of greenpearl) that don't understand that not wanting to give thier husband all what they want at least from time to time, would never allow them to have the kind of connection that a men can have with a woman when this has fullfilled all his fantacies or needs. If women think that this shouldn't be, then you have to also admit that you'll never be able to experience your man looking at you and thinking oh my god, thank you for this angel that make me feel this way.....if you don't try to please your husband or suprise him, he will recent you always....even if he says otherwise, he'll masturbate or wach porn or something to deal with his unfullfilled desires...now, didn't you, when getting marriage, said that would do your very best to make the love of your life happy??...you have the power, to make your man lose wait, work harder, be a better gentleman, etc....the only thing you need to do is to find in yourself a way to surprise him with the very thing he is dying for.....comments?:scratchhead:


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

I didn't hear any other women say they didn't surprise or try to please their husbands.

Some of us do all within our power.

Like I said before, I draw the line at gang bangs and beating him with a paddle (neither of which he wants). Some people don't wanna be **** on, pissed on, made to act like a blow up doll, talked to like they are pieces of trash. Some men like sick things, those men don't deserve women who will put forth all the effort.

You want all or nothing. Thats unrealistic, thats not a marriage. Thats what prostitutes are for. To service low life skum sucking sicko's who look at women like servants to do with as they will and demand to be serviced.

If my fantasy was to have sex with another man and it made my husband uncomfortable (which I can guarantee it would) I wouldn't want it. Why? Because my love is greater then my lust and that is the compromise that is most satisfying for me. We are people with thoughts and feelings and have desires just as sure as we have aversions. We are not animals to be driven by our baser natures. I would not want to live with the guilt of hurting my partner simply because it felt good.


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

WOW! Fulfill HIS fantasy! All I ask is he stop drinking one night and maybe he will get a boner and we could actually have sex for once! Sorry, Like my post says I'm cranky!


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

stumblealong said:


> WOW! Fulfill HIS fantasy! All I ask is he stop drinking one night and maybe he will get a boner and we could actually have sex for once! Sorry, Like my post says I'm cranky!


something could be very wrong if he prefers booze over ur boobies...


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

malmale said:


> something could be very wrong if he prefers booze over ur boobies...


OMG....are you my husband? Thats his favorite word hehe


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Idontknownow said:


> OMG....are you my husband? Thats his favorite word hehe


darlin', i aint gonna cross the 7 seas to get a boner!LOL

nevertheless, try to spice things up, see what excites him...


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

malmale said:


> darlin', i aint gonna cross the 7 seas to get a boner!LOL
> 
> nevertheless, try to spice things up, see what excites him...


What does that mean?


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

Idontknownow said:


> What does that mean?


what i mean is that stumblealong can try to find something exciting so that the hubby will stop his booze and at least pay more attention to her


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## Idontknownow (Sep 30, 2010)

oooh..thought you were talking to me. I was like...he's closer to your part of the world and gets a boner whenever we talk lol Not much I can do after that for a few more months. FML.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

It's unrealistic to expect that your wife will fulfill every single fantasy you have. Just like men, there are some things that women just don't want to do - whether it's lack of interest in the act, disgust by the act, whatever, it doesn't matter. 

You need to respect that she doesn't want to do whatever it is you want her to do. If you continue the attitude you seem to have right now, not only will you not get this fantasy you're after, but you'll lose what you do get from her. 

I will do almost anything to make my boyfriend happy, sexually, emotionally, any way possible. But there are still limits, and he respects them. Just as he will do almost anything to make me happy, but he has limits, and I respect them.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Everyone has limits.


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

malmale said:


> what i mean is that stumblealong can try to find something exciting so that the hubby will stop his booze and at least pay more attention to her


His hot rod in garage, his beer drinking buddies is what excites him these days. I've tried spicing things up in the past..done with it.

I agree with atruckersgirl... if his fantasies are too far out for her then boundaries should be respected and accepted. Yes, you should try to make the other person happy, but if it makes her uncomfortable, yet you push for it anyway, do you really love her...or are your sexual fantasies more important?


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

An example: I have a fantasy about being with a man who can actually 'get it up' This is a strong fantasy, so since he loves me so much like he says he does, he should let me go find that man to fulfill my fantasy. Right? NOT gonna happen! Once again the crankiness coming out! Sorry.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

stumblealong said:


> An example: I have a fantasy about being with a man who can actually 'get it up' This is a strong fantasy, so since he loves me so much like he says he does, he should let me go find that man to fulfill my fantasy. Right? NOT gonna happen! Once again the crankiness coming out! Sorry.


have u thought about swapping? have a look at this article

Responsible Nonmonogamy


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

What if your wife's fantasy is to watch you get gang-banged in the ass by a bunch of midgets wearing bigfoot costumes?

No one's ever died from having anal sex - and you love her, right?

Oh yeah - and she wants to videotape it also...just to have for later...


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

malmale said:


> have u thought about swapping? have a look at this article
> 
> Responsible Nonmonogamy


Malmal- nope not thought about it, my man would not go for that in any way. He is upset that I want a vibrator! Let alone have a 'real' di**! He thinks i should accept that the sex is gone and just deal w/ it it guess.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

stumblealong said:


> He is upset that I want a vibrator! Let alone have a 'real' di**! He thinks i should accept that the sex is gone and just deal w/ it it guess.


I hope you bought the vibrator anyway.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

I love to make my husband the happiest man in the bedroom when my husband loves to see me relaxed and enjoy his service. Some men somehow need to feel the assurance of love via different sexual excitements. My husband is not in that group. I told him I'd be very happy to satisfy his fantasies if he could say any. He replied me, "Thanks! I'm already doing what I like." He said he can experience other naughty stuffs with me if I like to try them with him, but for him, they're only side dishes. What he really desires is the main course. The main course is to have intercourse with me and have his orgasm inside me, as simple as sex is, that's exactly what he likes the most. All the rest are things he can live with or without in the bedroom and he told me there's always a balance if I want to play naughty with him. I respect my husband's simple fantasy. 
I won't accuse my husband not showing his love. He does love me deeply and truely.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> I hope you bought the vibrator anyway.


Still shopping


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

stumblealong said:


> Still shopping


I've seen "Hitachi Magic Wand" mentioned A LOT.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

You feel very bothered not because you can't agree there's always a limit for everything. You know most women are happy to please their husbands as long as they're not jerks, including your wife, you know, she's been pleasing you by giving you terrific blow jobs. You said many women refused to satisfy their husbands fantasies, which is not true.
It depends on what kind of fantasies and how he wants to be satisfied. Most women are willing to make their husbands happy in bed as long as they're not sex manic.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stumblealong (Jun 30, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> I've seen "Hitachi Magic Wand" mentioned A LOT.


Will look into. Thanks Nice777Sorry Marco...my lack of nookie has kinda hijacked your thread.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

marcopoly69 said:


> I am still bothered by women in this forum (with the exception of greenpearl) that don't understand that not wanting to give thier husband all what they want at least from time to time, would never allow them to have the kind of connection that a men can have with a woman when this has fullfilled all his fantacies or needs. If women think that this shouldn't be, then you have to also admit that you'll never be able to experience your man looking at you and thinking oh my god, thank you for this angel that make me feel this way.....if you don't try to please your husband or suprise him, he will recent you always....even if he says otherwise, he'll masturbate or wach porn or something to deal with his unfullfilled desires...now, didn't you, when getting marriage, said that would do your very best to make the love of your life happy??...you have the power, to make your man lose wait, work harder, be a better gentleman, etc....the only thing you need to do is to find in yourself a way to surprise him with the very thing he is dying for.....comments?:scratchhead:


LOL I know a man exactly like you said. He MUST have sex with his wife first before laying a finger to help her with housekeeping and taking care of the kids. She told me she's pathetic and married to a wrong man who treats her like his sex slave. Her chain is long enough to move from the bed to the stove. Her husband goes to work only after she f his brains off.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> You feel very bothered not because you can't agree there's always a limit for everything. You know most women are happy to please their husbands as long as they're not jerks, including your wife, you know, she's been pleasing you by giving you terrific blow jobs. You said many women refused to satisfy their husbands fantasies, which is not true.
> It depends on what kind of fantasies and how he wants to be satisfied. Most women are willing to make their husbands happy in bed as long as they're not sex manic.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


:iagree::iagree:


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> LOL I know a man exactly like you said. He MUST have sex with his wife first before laying a finger to help her with housekeeping and taking care of the kids. She told me she's pathetic and married to a wrong man who treats her like his sex slave. Her chain is long enough to move from the bed to the stove. Her husband goes to work only after she f his brains off.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Then the wife is and IDIOT. My wife said not to me for 20 years and still does whenever she doesn't feel like doing something. The difference now, is that when she is in the mood, sex is much better, she is really into it, she is able to experience 2 orgasms while before was only one (for many years), and when she gives me my bjs that I love so much, she does it in a way that I feel loved and wanted....I mean...it is not that much what you need to do to make your husband happy....show that you care and feel alive.....I just can't help feeling that nobody will understand (but greenpearl) since you just can't imagine what kind of relationship I have with my wife...and all that we've through together.....anyhow, I'll keep trying to make her happy and see how that translate into our love making....


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

It isn't a wife or husband's job to fulfill every sexual fantasy. If you think that, then you have a very messed up idea of marriage.
Everybody has limits. You don't seem to understand that though. Your posts are rife with hostility towards your wife yet she seems to be doing plenty sexually for you.
Additionally, your comment about how you don't like the women on this board is very insulting. That statement was very telling though in how you view your wife and women in general.
Good day to you.


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

marcopoly69

I see you are getting a lot of sxxt.



I told you to be patient!

Now I don't need to give you sxxt anymore since you are getting a lot sxxt from others!

:rofl:


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

Brennan said:


> It isn't a wife or husband's job to fulfill every sexual fantasy. If you think that, then you have a very messed up idea of marriage.


 Seriously, I wouldn't want to be married to someone who would make such a statement as this.

If I shared my fantasies with my husband & he even remotely referred to fullfilling them as a "job", I would be really really HURT. 

As a wife, I would say I definetely desire to fullfill ALL of my husband's fantasies (thankfully his are tame). He desires to fullfill all of mine as well , even though mine are a little more detailed & out of character for him, but the desire and caring to do so -is present. I can't tell you how important that is TO ME. 

These little things can really UPLIFT both partners spirits. 

Of coarse, if the fantasies are thresomes & going outside of the 2 of you , that is going too far. I can see putting limits to preserve the true intimacy of the marraige.


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## 76Trombones (Jun 2, 2010)

As much as I want my partner to be happy I also have respect for myself and personal boundaries. If he (and thank goodness he isn't into extreme stuff) asks me to do something I'm not comfortable with, then simply put I will not be doing it. Luckily, he is the sort of person who respects me as a person and the boundaries that I have. Having said that, I will go a long way to please the person I am with, but it's just that I will not be compromising myself to do it.

It is my opinion that a person who goes wayyyy out of their comfort zone just to please another person (regardless of who it is) is not a healthy person. There are a lot of people out there doing things that they despise just to get someone to love them or stay with them or whatever. You hear it every day. These people should be working on their own self respect and esteem before even thinking about sex. 

I'm a pretty open minded person and will do a lot of things. There are just some things nobody will ever get me to do, even if they paid me a million dollars


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

I know you felt so good to see your wife "working hard" to please you and to make you feel loved by giving you an excellent blow job...etc. You loved her service so much because you felt you're wanted badly and very much desired. However, maybe sometimes she just needs a bit more relaxing sex from you. She might just want to lie down and enjoy your service. When she's relaxing, or not working hard, it doesn't mean you're less wanted, desired, loved. Your wife loves you just the same. Don't you think so?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> I know you felt so good to see your wife "working hard" to please you and to make you feel loved by giving you an excellent blow job...etc. You loved her service so much because you felt you're wanted badly and very much desired. However, maybe sometimes she just needs a bit more relaxing sex from you. She might just want to lie down and enjoy your service. When she's relaxing, or not working hard, it doesn't mean you're less wanted, desired, loved. Your wife loves you just the same. Don't you think so?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


hmmm, what happens when the lady only wants to be pleased but willing to take the extra step to please the guy? or maybe, they expect us to find pleasure when we please the ladies?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

In your opinion, when your wife worked hard to please you, you said she loved you very much, then when she laid back, just wanted to relax and enjoy sex, you said she loved you less and didn't understand what you needed. In this case, it's very unfair to cut her love into 2 categories. Maybe it's a good idea to take turns. Sometimes it's a bit tiring to be a supermom and then a super sexy wife...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

malmale said:


> hmmm, what happens when the lady only wants to be pleased but willing to take the extra step to please the guy? or maybe, they expect us to find pleasure when we please the ladies?


_Posted via Mobile Device_
You can tell her to give you a good head first when she requests one from you.  so it's fair?


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Malmale, Did you try 69? So you get served,too! Make sure you drag the time a bit. LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

LOL
not fond of picking a bone of who should do what, but i think guys in my position could count our blessings that she would even want to lie there for us to service her...

i could complain till the cows come home, but hey, at least she enjoys me servicing her n i find joy in providing her needed dosage of orgasms


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> Malmale, Did you try 69? So you get served,too! Make sure you drag the time a bit. LOL
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


oh yes, with her on the top as she feels suffocated if i go on top... but not with much success coz once i start, she does insist on me finishing the job! but she prefers to lie down, she prefers to have my hands bz while i bury myself below... LOL


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

LOL after you finished doing your work down there, it's usually the end of the game or?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Btw, you don't have to count your blessings "quietly". After you read all these threads from marcopoly, you not yet learnt how to ask for more blessings?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mom6547 (Jul 13, 2010)

I guess my thoughts are these.

While I am now able to entertain the idea of fulfilling pretty much any fantasy or want my DH comes up with, that trust was not always there. It is not as simple as oh gee honey, you like anal?!? Ok! I need to TRUST someone in order to push my personal boundaries with them.

Also one thing that many men don't realize is that many women have a hard time feeling loving and sexual when her OTHER needs are not getting met. If I am resentful because I feel he is ignoring my needs for attention, affection, help with practical matters or in my case if I feel like I am not being HEARD and understood, then I don't really WANT to give him his sexual lovin'.

I am thinking that a man who feels his needs aren't getting met likewise won't WANT to go help with the car repair or listen to her vent about whatever...

If a rut like this develops, then one or the other has to try to break it by being the one to GIVE. But damn if that does not result in reciprocity, then even MORE resentment can develop.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

vthomeschoolmom said:


> I guess my thoughts are these.
> 
> While I am now able to entertain the idea of fulfilling pretty much any fantasy or want my DH comes up with, that trust was not always there. It is not as simple as oh gee honey, you like anal?!? Ok! I need to TRUST someone in order to push my personal boundaries with them.
> 
> ...


:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:


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## Sunday D (Oct 15, 2010)

wow this topic sure got twisted..I think the point is..no matter we will all wake up one day and realize we are not satisfied sexually..that's a 100% promise and likelihood..especially after about the 7 yr mark..then we will realize that we need to kick it up a notch..key word being WE.
I for example have never been one of those I have a headache girls..and I have 4 kids..if anything I think having more sex is the only way to get through the raising of 4 kids.However my partner thought this was ridiculous!..lol..until I asked for a separation..oh then he wanted to try to keep things hot in the bedroom..problem was he had no skills and lacked the desire to attain them..believe me I made suggestion after suggestion.. I don't want to counsel my husband on sex or anything relationship related..feels to much like Mommy..and then the sex appeal is lost..I for example LOVE Dirty talk its about the only thing that gets me kick started and makes for an out of body experience..but I don't get all that turned on when I'm the only one doing the Dirty talk..he cant seem to let go enough to explore this wonderfully exciting part of sexual experiences..I found myself faking then said nope Im not doin this I'm over 40 and I'm fakin it..so it turned into me masturbating while fantasizing about someone else while having sex with him just to achieve orgasm..Now I realize sex is for men mostly..a place for them to deposit their stresses..I go to porn if I want a real mind blowing orgasm..and I am very ok with this I don't even hold it against him..all I want is some romance..because I now know that's the only thing I cant get on my own..really ..think about it..whats in Marriage for the woman?..I can think of many things a man would get out of marriage..cooked meals,clean house,most the child rearing of the children,a non paid secretary..a nurse when he's sick..the organizing of social events...giving the Male specimen "his space"..we do all this for what?
Kinda sad that Most men are not good companions for woman considering there is no third species..looks like us ladies are kinda screwed.


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## AWife (Sep 25, 2010)

the only thing you need to do is to find in yourself a way to surprise him with the very thing he is dying for.....comments?

Sorry, but I can't relate to this either. I'm the sexually frustrated one in my marriage, too.... sigh


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## AWife (Sep 25, 2010)

Now I realize sex is for men mostly.

I disagree with this as well.


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## malmale (Oct 5, 2010)

MsLonely said:


> LOL after you finished doing your work down there, it's usually the end of the game or?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


yeap, Technical Knocked Out for her! LOL



MsLonely said:


> Btw, you don't have to count your blessings "quietly". After you read all these threads from marcopoly, you not yet learnt how to ask for more blessings?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


sometimes it is easier than done... but nevertheless, still trying


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

malmale said:


> yeap, Technical Knocked Out for her! LOL
> 
> 
> sometimes it is easier than done... but nevertheless, still trying


You forgot the dildo and butt pluge introductions. LOL you might find yourself kicked out from the bed? Compare you with marco, he's somewhat a luckier man?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bloodymary (Oct 10, 2010)

If you want a servant...hire a maid.
If you want another human being to allow you to do whatever you'd like sexually to them without care of how it makes them feel (physically-pain or emotionally- shameful or dirty)....buy a f-king wh0re for the night.
If you want to beat the f-k out of something...get a heavyweight bag.
If you want to f-k everything in sight...get a girlfriend who doesn't care or is really stupid and don't answer your cell phone ever.
If you want to care and love and be loved by and cared for by a woman/man...who regardless of your needs you provide for hers and regardless of hers she provides for you...well now that sounds like a wife/husband.

Get it straight....wife does not = maid and live in wh0re.


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