# Seperated 5 months



## Lonelyin NC (Aug 1, 2012)

Where do I begin.....My wife and I seperated March 15 of this year and it has been almost 5 months so far - 

We were married almost 10 1/2 years. Behind what everyone percieved as the "perfect marriage" there were problems ...a ton of them

-my wife suffered from depression and would change depression meds from time to time because the one she was on to begin with quit working. 

- my wife had quit working in Nov 2010 because she could not get along with her boss. She quit 2 other jobs for almost the same reason

- Aside from the depression meds , she would take several other meds for various ailments. Since I was the only one working , the cost of her meds would get out of control sometimes which made money tight for us and would lead to some nasty arguments.

- From time time she quit caring about our house but it really became a problem around 6 months before we seperated. She wanted more and more material things from me which was burning me out too. The only thing we could not have was a child. Several times we did IUI treatments and several times they failed...one of them in a miscarriage. 

- No to little sex in our marriage was a big problem. My wife had issues down there but did very little to treat the problem and refused physical treatments when they were made availible. I did the very best I could to cope but ended up having an affair which I still feel awful doing to this day. 

Shes back in Ct living uder her parents roof and pretty much got a job right away when she got back. Everytime Ive talked to her (just business only...nothing personal), I get this cold feeling from her. She has pretty much cut off all of my family. She cut me off from FB and wont even give me a cell phone # to reach her if I need to contact her for anything. I usually have to call her parents house to reach her. i tried to reach out to her a couple weeks ago only to read through another frineds FB...her post was "Some people really need to get over it and learn to move on!" The night I told her I wanted a seperation, her response was "What do I get and whats in it for me?"....

I still miss her and and am currently putting the 180 into effect. I do miss her terribly at times.Am I wasting my time with her?


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## richie33 (Jul 20, 2012)

Sounds like your wasting your time. " what's in it for me and what do I get". You deserve better than that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

I'm surprised that you two didn't at least try some form of counseling before relenting to separation. Did she seek out either medical or psychological treatment for her episodes of depression?

Given that, I would think that you are doing the right thing and that you will be far better apart. Just cherish what few good memories you have from this relationship, seek out divorce, and move on.


You deserve far better out of life. In time, you will find someone who will truly love you for who you are!


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

I feel for you... my wife won't even go into counseling and doesn't talk to me either.

Only time will tell.


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## lonleyinlasvegas (Jul 3, 2012)

my wife also suffered from depression for years. everything was always negative and it makes you a negative person also after a while. i feel your pain and have been there.

the fact is she made her decision and move on. it's time for you to do the same. look up "walk away wife" on google.

don't try and find logic in her actions as she did a very bad thing to you and clearly shows no remorse. it it s like I am dead to my wife these days...similar situation here..

i often think, how did I end up married to someone so cold, who could inflict so much pain on someone they loved. they answer is they dont love you anymore.

so sorry to hear what you are going through.


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## Dadwithtwolittlegirls (Jul 23, 2012)

Mine was pretty cold too and really needs to see a doctor because I dont think she ever really got over her depression, and add a family death into it it was twice as bad.

I feel you pain ten fold...


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