# Seeking advice



## Brianl364 (Oct 13, 2009)

Hello all. Im new here and glad I found this site. Ive been reading posts and reply's for the last three hours. My wife of 9yrs and I are heading down the path so many others seem to be on. In my case we have hurt each other argued till were exhausted. At present shes so far from me I can hardly see her any longer. I feel shes going through some midlife crisis or depressed as well as confused which is making this even more difficult. I wont go into the trash from the past but she wrote me what she wants in life. I want to give her this and be who she wants but quite honestly Im not sure how to go about it. We are both in therapy so of course I will be bringing this to them as well. But both our therapists have been married happily over 10 yrs so Im not sure if they can truly grasp the pain their clients go through. So here goes and I appreciate any feed back anyone can offer. 
*"I need to discover if I have a partner that can truly grow with me and understand me and achieve a respectful and intimate relationship in the future."*
It seems so easy and of course I say yes...hell yes! The more I read it however the more I am confused on where to start. But until I can grasp what there is to "understand" and how much more I can "respect" her I feel lost. I should mention that like so many other posts she has recently told me she loves me but isnt in love with me any longer. Im searching all the links for advice on how to successfully seduce your wife again and rekindle a lost love. Thanks for all your posts and replys they are so very helpful on many ways!


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## WhatNow? (Nov 1, 2009)

Wow. I dont blame you for not knowing what she wants and I'm a woman!... I guess you're gonna have to post about your past to give a better perspective on why she's saying this, cos from where I'm standing she pretty much wants the sort of relationship that many strive for and few ever find. I am in a marriage with a lot of fighting, very little honest communication and a sex life that used to be great but is fighting to revive. Maybe you should just ask her how she'd like youto respect her more, how you can improve things. That you're just a dumb guy (no offense) and can she find another way of explaining things to you. Sorry, hope thats helpful.


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## Ladybug30 (Oct 27, 2009)

That is a little vauge. I think to start I'd ask her what she needs from you, maybe each of you make a list of what you need from the other. I think the key here is communication. She's got to be able to tell you what she needs.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

"I need to discover if I have a partner that can truly grow with me and understand me and achieve a respectful and intimate relationship in the future."


no comprende, it basically says (IMHO) i have no clue what i want or why i feel the way i do. sounds like it came out of a book


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