# Finally divorced. Now what??



## bwent (Oct 20, 2016)

After 18 months of being separated, my divorce finally went through. I've been working on changing all my identification back to my maiden name and just relishing in the fact that I am no longer beholden to anyone. 

I felt really shell shocked after though. I just turned 30 and I'm still coping with the fact that I got married and divorced this young (my husband had an affair while working overseas and it was... messy). My ex was emotionally manipulative and our marriage was dysfunctional for quite a while.

Anyone else feel like this afterward? You sort of want to celebrate but also you feel so hollow after?

Also... I don't know what to do now. I have this friend of mine who is also a coworker. We had a couple "dates" but backed off romantically about a year ago because of divorce drama. Since then though we've bonded and are basically best friends now. We get along like two peas in a pod. I still wonder though if we could be an item and I don't know how to ask! We love the same things and actually he really seems like he's been trying to keep an eye on me since my divorce was made official last week. He had me over to his place for drinks, had coffee with me a lot, last night we tackled some work stuff together when often he'd just fly solo. I wonder if he's just scared to look too pushy after the divorce or if he just legitimately would prefer to keep things in the friendzone. I care about him so much and don't want to screw this up but he's just my type of person.

I feel like now that I've had what I had, I know what I want. I like this guy. Calm, kind, caring, responsible and really goofy.

What do you guys think? I kind of want to know what's up before I go doing something stupid like downloading Tinder. And for the record, I was with my husband from the time I was 18... I have no idea what dating is like now...


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## m00nman (Nov 29, 2014)

He sounds like a good fit. Why not? 

BTW, forget about Tinder. Social Media is the bane of civilization. Why shop around when it might be staring you right in the face?


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## Ynot (Aug 26, 2014)

OP before you jump into anything, the first thing you must do is discover what who you are and what you want. The second thing you need to understand is that who you are and what you want are only temporary. They can and probably will change as you discover more about yourself and the world.. So the third thing you need to understand, is that you don't make mistakes or do something stupid, instead you take actions and learn lessons from them. Some lessons may be more expensive than others. 
All of these things will be occurring simultaneously. In order to discover yourself, you need to take action. The lessons of some actions will cause you to change your thinking. The change in thinking will cause you to become a different person. So go forth with an open mind.


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## Spicy (Jun 18, 2016)

I would say to your coworker, "I'm finally single! I think you deserve to be my first official date! What do you think?"


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## bwent (Oct 20, 2016)

Well. That hurt. I just got walked back into the friendzone.


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## foolscotton3 (Nov 13, 2014)

Im sorry,
I was kind of in the same situation, same result.
If I were him, and those things you said were accurate, I wouldn't want to be your post-d-rebound either, and I mean that in the most sincere way.

Sent from my App Runtime for Chrome using Tapatalk


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## chillymorn69 (Jun 27, 2016)

bwent said:


> Well. That hurt. I just got walked back into the friendzone.


??? he shot you down?


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