# Cuddle Buddy



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Is it sad that after 7 months of sleeping alone I still roll over expecting to feel him?
I want a cuddle buddy!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Forever Changed (Sep 18, 2012)

I know what you mean!


----------



## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

Me too!


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

me three. this will be my 3rd night back in our bed tonight , if i get there. i wish someone else was in it too.
i use to love going to bed but now it's like the bed and room are just some distant sorta empty area of the house that i don't really like very much anymore.

i wonder if i should just keep sleeping on the couch !


----------



## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

I know the feeling. I am not a fan of the kids sleeping in the marital bed, but since the separation I use my kids as emotional support sometimes. Not often, but I will cuddle with one all night long when I'm blue.


----------



## Hermes (Oct 8, 2012)

I love that she is not there anymore. 

I sleep in the dead center of the bed. 

I sprawl out. 

It is great.

If you want a cuddle buddy, get one of those body length pillows.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

GutPunch said:


> I know the feeling. I am not a fan of the kids sleeping in the marital bed, but since the separation I use my kids as emotional support sometimes. Not often, but I will cuddle with one all night long when I'm blue.


I could not sleep good with either of my girls, they talk in there sleep!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Hermes said:


> I love that she is not there anymore.
> 
> I sleep in the dead center of the bed.
> 
> ...


I had one like that years ago but I was talking more along the lines of a warm body not a cold pillow


----------



## HappyKaty (Nov 20, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> I had one like that years ago but I was talking more along the lines of a warm body not a cold pillow


Get a dog.

Mine keeps me warm, and when I get too hot, I can just push him out of bed.


----------



## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

I have two cuddle buddies. Both furry, warm and sweet. But if anyone wants to come over and cuddle I'm fair game.


----------



## Stella Moon (Nov 22, 2012)

Well if we're talking cuddle buddy's with dogs...my Great Dane sleeps with me now...as does my little lap poodle and the dmn cat. Yea...all three of these guys on my caliifornia king select comfort...it is rather hilarious ....damn bed not even paid for...

Dane/ the others sleeps on stbx's side...perhaps I need to ask them their sleep number...lol!


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I prefer a person not an animal! I have two kids to pick up after I don't need more to take care of
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## HappyKaty (Nov 20, 2012)

My animals require less clean up than any of my exes ever have.


----------



## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

I've slept with a cold person in my bed for two years... now I'm trying to learn to live without her. It is odd how the memories of her actually snuggling up seem like a hundred years ago yet they can come back and knock the wind out of me yet again...


----------



## Pbartender (Dec 6, 2012)

My bed's too big.

It has divots where the two of use to sleep, and after 8 months separation, I still sleep on the same side of the bed, in the same divot.

I really need to get a new mattress, once I have the spare money...


Pb.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

That's what a pillow and your imagination is for.
You can have a different one every night.
Sometimes my cat stops by as a stand in.
But I think he was onto me and now he sleeps somewhere else.
All I did was hold his paw, geez!


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I went and bought a new bed after h left....


----------



## barnot (Aug 21, 2011)

I have only been alone 2 nights, and I don't dare going into the bedroom because it will make me sad. I sleep on the floor in the living room. She would always cuddle me because I couldn't get comfortable cuddling her most of the time. Now I would give anything to have her back here to cuddle.


----------



## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Sigh. I let my exH stay with me for a while when he was trying to reconcile and still my H. So yep, he has been in my bed in my apartment. And in my apartment, never mind the bed which is where we ultimately parted ways. (But that's a good memory, because I live in the place where I stood my ground.) Then my boyfriend almost died in my bed. On my side of the bed. Which is where I now sleep. Add two more one a summer relationship where he ended up being a pot head. And another the guy I dumped because of him being non-committed (also once.) Ultimately I am kind of happy to have my bed to myself. I got a small apartment and a sofa bed because I didn't want any guy moving in prematurely trying to sponge off of me or trying to hang out so he could be overly controlling. My plan is working. So I'm good with that. I think this last guy (who despite having a business seems to be tight financially) was disappointed in my set-up. So if my bed is empty it's because that's the way I wanted it. It's a growing experience. I think people move in together too quickly. This was a big mistake of mine regarding my husband. Oh sure, people say they are moving in and not getting married, to see how it works out. But honestly, once you're moved in, it's just as difficult to end a relationship as it is to get divorced, only you have getting married as an option for trying to improve/fix/solidify/solve relationship problems. Yikes.
Lately I've experimented with letting my guy friends come over to just hang out a little bit with me and my kids, and am going to invite a woman friend over for coffee. She's Lithuanian and has lived in NYC and her husband is somewhere else. Her daughter and mine are in school together. It's not often someone like her drops into the social landscape of a town like this. I had my eldest son and his girlfriend visit and that went well. I'm going to go night skiing with a guy friend when it warms up so will have him over to see the place. He's a friend of the guy who almost died, but now a friend of mine. But to have someone move in? No way, there is no room here for anyone and I really covet my personal time in the morning and at night. I would feel suffocated having someone here right now. Which I guess works out, because I am not in any kind of relationship other than eHarmony correspondence. Honestly not sure if I will ever move in together with anyone again lock stock and barrel. Especially until my younger two are grown up. I could see setting up with someone part time when my kids aren't around. But not here in my space. I would go to where they are. lol. My sofa bed is okay for 105 pounds but that's it. Plus I don't want to deal with someone maybe dying again. I might get a reputation here in this small town.


----------



## Lip Service (Jan 18, 2013)

I just move upstairs myself, and i am now sleeping alone, it sucks


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

GutPunch said:


> I know the feeling. I am not a fan of the kids sleeping in the marital bed, but since the separation I use my kids as emotional support sometimes. Not often, but I will cuddle with one all night long when I'm blue.



hey gp , wish we could do that but my daughters getting a bit old for it now.
the other thing is i always get lots of erections in my sleep all night long . if i was close to her sleeping and so I didn't know it was her well,
AWKWARD :sleeping:

ps , i should say, she knows i'm a horny fkr too and even she "jokes" about what i might do in my sleep if she crashed with me - can't win !


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Hermes said:


> I love that she is not there anymore.
> 
> I sleep in the dead center of the bed.
> 
> ...



ahh that's funny . i use to love getting the bed to myself and i often hed a lot of trouble sleeping with her so close.
fkd if i know , i'm all fkd up right now :lol:


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

barnot said:


> I have only been alone 2 nights, and I don't dare going into the bedroom because it will make me sad. I sleep on the floor in the living room. She would always cuddle me because I couldn't get comfortable cuddling her most of the time. Now I would give anything to have her back here to cuddle.


yeah that's how our room feels. i've been in the lounge for 4 mths.


----------



## lost hunter (Dec 13, 2012)

I stopped by the house to get my bills, and I poked my head in the bedroom. It killed me to see my side of the bed unused. Hit me harder then I thought it would.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## loveispatient (Jan 10, 2013)

I spread out and have liked the extra space. Granted, I wake up pretty early for some reason with anxiety but this has only been about 14-days. So hopefully over time this too shall pass. 

I have two dogs and one cat. So it's crowded in bed. At least I have that I guess. Not sure I want anyone IN BED with me anytime soon. I think I need to get used to being by myself for a little while.


----------



## Betrayedwife (Nov 9, 2012)

My daughter sleeps with me many nights because she is traumatized with all that has happened. Plus I think she worries about me. We got a new dog. She sleeps with me when my daughter isn't here. The dog has to be fed and walked but she is great. She doesn't lie to me. She doesn't betray me. She loves me. She listens to me. She is happy to do whatever I am doing as long as she is with me. Much improvement over the stbxh.


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

lost hunter said:


> I stopped by the house to get my bills, and I poked my head in the bedroom. It killed me to see my side of the bed unused. Hit me harder then I thought it would.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


my wife did that too when she dropped over for somem. then we both went in to checkout the new inbuilt i'm building , and sat on the bed together admiring it. 
that felt so crazy , i was wondering how she found it


----------



## TNman (Dec 24, 2012)

Me too- just to hold a warm female body in my arms would be so great! Damn.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

TNman said:


> Me too- just to hold a warm female body in my arms would be so great! Damn.


Thats what I am talking about but with a male


----------



## TNman (Dec 24, 2012)

Understand completely lee! Just feeling some warmth and love would be sooo good!


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

TNman said:


> Understand completely lee! Just feeling some warmth and love would be sooo good!




:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

I am such a wild one sitting home on a friday night on the internet....


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

It's not unusual to feel that way, OP. I still wake up sometimes and am surprised that he's not here and then I remember why. I imagine the sense or cognitive dissonance will eventually fade. I have like five or six extra pillows in my bed; makes it feel less empty. And my cat sleeps in my room (not in my bed, as he has his own) so his funny cat breathing makes my room feel less lonely.


----------



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

LOL my H and I have joked about how anytime I'm gone (away on a business trip), he loves to sleep diagonally in the bed; he says he wakes up laying with his arms out to the sides, legs pointed toward my end of the bed, like a crucified Jesus (sorry, no offense to anyone). 

Sadly though, when we're in bed together, I lay on my side facing the edge of the bed, he lays on his side facing the edge of the bed, leaving a chasm of empty space between us...indicative of the state of our marriage, no doubt.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> LOL my H and I have joked about how anytime I'm gone (away on a business trip), he loves to sleep diagonally in the bed; he says he wakes up laying with his arms out to the sides, legs pointed toward my end of the bed, like a crucified Jesus (sorry, no offense to anyone).
> 
> Sadly though, when we're in bed together, I lay on my side facing the edge of the bed, he lays on his side facing the edge of the bed, leaving a chasm of empty space between us...indicative of the state of our marriage, no doubt.


I like to feel the body heat... There use to not be any room between us...


----------



## TNman (Dec 24, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:
> 
> I am such a wild one sitting home on a friday night on the internet....


Good thing your in Texas and I'm in Tennessee I reckon!
Sounds like a country song!


----------



## moxy (Apr 2, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> I like to feel the body heat... There use to not be any room between us...


Body pillows plus heating pad or electric blanket?


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I do have an electric blanket
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

TNman said:


> Good thing your in Texas and I'm in Tennessee I reckon!
> Sounds like a country song!



_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Waking up to life (Nov 29, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> I like to feel the body heat... There use to not be any room between us...


My H gets too hot if I lie too close. His "girth" is large enough that if I try to lay my head on his chest, my neck gets cramped up from being at a weird angle. Physically, even putting sex aside (which is a whole different issue), my H is not comfortable to hug or cuddle with. We are physically not very compatible. I'm 5'0" tall and 110 lbs...he's 6'2" and over 300 lbs. It's hard to explain...just not comfortable.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I just want a cuddle buddy in bed and on the couch! Getting my electric blanket to put on my bed
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

TNman said:


> Understand completely lee! Just feeling some warmth and love would be sooo good!



same here tn , same here . but there's no one to ring , except maybe that phyco chick i met 7wks ago - hmm she was hot too.
mad but hot .

soo in the mood for curling into a nice lady right now .


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

moxy said:


> It's not unusual to feel that way, OP. I still wake up sometimes and am surprised that he's not here and then I remember why. I imagine the sense or cognitive dissonance will eventually fade. I have like five or six extra pillows in my bed; makes it feel less empty. And my cat sleeps in my room (not in my bed, as he has his own) so his funny cat breathing makes my room feel less lonely.



how long ago was the split moxy ?

do you think you'd go one nighters just to help it out or ?

think i'm too sad for one nighters - never been into them anyway but i'm feeling the pinch right now.


----------



## mama2five (Dec 29, 2012)

I bought a new bed when H lft too...no memories in this bed except lonely nights..id love to be spooning right now lol!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> LOL my H and I have joked about how anytime I'm gone (away on a business trip), he loves to sleep diagonally in the bed; he says he wakes up laying with his arms out to the sides, legs pointed toward my end of the bed, like a crucified Jesus (sorry, no offense to anyone).
> 
> Sadly though, when we're in bed together, I lay on my side facing the edge of the bed, he lays on his side facing the edge of the bed, leaving a chasm of empty space between us...indicative of the state of our marriage, no doubt.


not necessarily though don't worry.
we found sleeping cuddling was near impossible too.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

mama2five said:


> I bought a new bed when H lft too...no memories in this bed except lonely nights..id love to be spooning right now lol!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are not alone there sister!!!! That just means we get to make new memories!
I lied me and my girls have movie night in my bed and I get stuck sleeping between a 7 and 4 year old who both talk in there sleep
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Waking up to life said:


> My H gets too hot if I lie too close. His "girth" is large enough that if I try to lay my head on his chest, my neck gets cramped up from being at a weird angle. Physically, even putting sex aside (which is a whole different issue), my H is not comfortable to hug or cuddle with. We are physically not very compatible. I'm 5'0" tall and 110 lbs...he's 6'2" and over 300 lbs. It's hard to explain...just not comfortable.


5 ft , ooo your a cruel women . i looove shorties they just i dunno why, turn me on !


----------



## mama2five (Dec 29, 2012)

Occasionally my 5 and 6yr olds try and find there way to my bed but I only allow it once in awhile..on the plus side tho I dont get woken up by snoring or blanket stealing! Haha
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

i'd love to just get a whole new bed , hell i want a whole new bed room too , and a nice new body to curl into while i'm at it.
trouble is i like really big beds and they're expensive.

not a hope right now on all counts , fck it !


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

you know , i always thought i'd like living on my own but i fckg hate it . i dunno how people do it.

my sisters always been unlucky in love and she's lived on her own since she left home . bout 20 yrs . god poor thing !

i've always been lucky in love until now but now i'm praying it hasn't left the building.


----------



## lost hunter (Dec 13, 2012)

I was never one to cuddle, one that was one of the many issues she had with me. I lack intimacy or so she says. I used to hate when she would flop her arm over me, but now laying in this bed alone, I would give up a lot to have that arm hold me once again. Live and learn I guess.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## niceguysfinishlast (Jan 18, 2013)

I want the same thing. Someone to hang out with, share some emotion and some physical contact. 

My STBXW has her POSOM to depend on for this **** and I get nothing. She's hot and has men jumping up and down for her attention while I have to work hard on dating.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

niceguysfinishlast said:


> I want the same thing. Someone to hang out with, share some emotion and some physical contact.
> 
> My STBXW has her POSOM to depend on for this **** and I get nothing. She's hot and has men jumping up and down for her attention while I have to work hard on dating.


Not ready for dating yet. - friendships first
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## niceguysfinishlast (Jan 18, 2013)

lee101981 said:


> Not ready for dating yet. - friendships first
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I respect that. I guess I'm always so very lonely when I'm single. Emotionally intimacy with someone else is really an addiction for me. It always bites me in the butt. I need to fix this about myself but it's hard to even consider how to do that.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

We all get lonely but you don't want to settle for half of a whole! You need to find ways alone to make yourself happy!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## niceguysfinishlast (Jan 18, 2013)

You're right. Fix yourself before you go out with others. But I get so hurt thinking of my STBXW and her POSOM that it makes me feel powerless. Grrrr... That's why I need to date, to feel like I have power too that I can also be desirable. 

You're being strong though which is awesome. Hopefully I'll get there too.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Trust me with two little girls at home I have had my moments! Really the thought of bringing some guy into there lives scares me more!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## niceguysfinishlast (Jan 18, 2013)

lee101981 said:


> Trust me with two little girls at home I have had my moments! Really the tought of bringing some guy into there lives scares me more!!!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Aha see that's a real concern. Also, I'm sure it's nice that you have some family close to depend on. I only have my cat close by to depend on for unqualified love.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I have my mom close by and my nana lives about an hour away but his family is a lot closer 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mama2five (Dec 29, 2012)

Im going thru the same thing..my thoughts are at times consumed of STBXH and POSOW...he cant possibly miss cuddling because he has her..but id rather settle for a non lying- std free BODYPILLOW lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Did you get your test done? I did! Thank The Lord I am clean!!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## niceguysfinishlast (Jan 18, 2013)

lee101981 said:


> I have my mom close by and my nana lives about an hour away but his family is a lot closer
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Unfortunately my STBXW's family is also close at hand and in many ways I'm closer to them than she is. They're taking our D very poorly and it sucks because I need their help to make sure the STBXW gets the stuff handled properly with paperwork.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

I loved my in laws so much they are greet but now it is weird!!! Ding even know what go say!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jack spade (Dec 29, 2012)

Sleeping alone in a king size bed for last seven months. I get really lonely and could definitely use a cuddle buddy. Been cold this week in NYC. Me and STBXW use to spoon all the time when it was cold. Then would have to roll over when my arm went numb. Man I would could kill for some spoon time again. Ugh!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Betrayedwife (Nov 9, 2012)

This is the thing....I really don't mind sleeping alone anymore. Mystbxh would kiss me, tell me he loved me, I was the greatest wife in the world. He would hold me all night long, every night. All the while he was cheating on me and verbally trashing our marriage. We were so physical all the time...hand holding...arm around me. All lies. Now I can't stand the thought of even being touched.


----------



## veebras (Dec 10, 2011)

I miss hb in my bed Sooo much!  still sleeping in the same bed with all those damn memories is hard sometimes like now when I actually think about it. But hey now I can read all night in bed if I desire! And no longer have to sleep with the tv on all light every night! 
But miss him so.. And feel so alone in that room.
One thing I did which certainly helped was to get all new bedding and curtains. I re did the room to make it my own and not those same sheets at least!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Betrayedwife said:


> This is the thing....I really don't mind sleeping alone anymore. Mystbxh would kiss me, tell me he loved me, I was the greatest wife in the world. He would hold me all night long, every night. All the while he was cheating on me and verbally trashing our marriage. We were so physical all the time...hand holding...arm around me. All lies. Now I can't stand the thought of even being touched.



Sorry about that b. Even as a male i could never work that one out.
l know it must hurt like hell but l'm glad your free of him that's just bs.
Good things will come to you , you'll get your karma and he'll get his .


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

lee101981 said:


> I like to feel the body heat... There use to not be any room between us...


lt gets too warm for me and the sleep wriggles keep me awake. l like to snuggle while we're awake but when it's time to sleep l need my space.
Well , l've got plenty at the mo :scratchhead:

Fkg bed feels like a tennis court !


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

whitehawk said:


> lt gets too warm for me and the sleep wriggles keep me awake. l like to snuggle while we're awake but when it's time to sleep l need my space.
> Well , l've got plenty at the mo :scratchhead:
> 
> Fkg bed feels like a tennis court !


Where have you been?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

veebras said:


> I miss hb in my bed Sooo much!  still sleeping in the same bed with all those damn memories is hard sometimes like now when I actually think about it. But hey now I can read all night in bed if I desire! And no longer have to sleep with the tv on all light every night!
> But miss him so.. And feel so alone in that room.
> One thing I did which certainly helped was to get all new bedding and curtains. I re did the room to make it my own and not those same sheets at least!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



l'm in a bad way this week and sorta thought maybe l should redo the room. Although l miss her so much maybe it's lucky l can't afford to right now though . l mean if l change it all then she hasn't been there , not ready for that l don't think.
Damn beds that fkg big too though for just one person.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Where is my cuddle buddy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

I've looked for cuddle buddys since living on my own. Found one. Heavy smoker though (meaning she smokes a lot but she's a size 6 lol) Like curling up to a warm ashtray. ugh......

Is it too much to ask for a platonic relationship with a nice non-smoking female that can spend at least one night a week with me? lol


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Can't deal with smoking
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## NoWhere (Oct 2, 2012)

I'd make a suggestion, but you would have to blow it up every day and be careful about sharp objects around her.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

Good one
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## one_strange_otter (Aug 26, 2008)

NoWhere said:


> I'd make a suggestion, but you would have to blow it up every day and be careful about sharp objects around her.


No good....anything I cuddle up to is bound to have something sharp pointing at it....lol


----------



## Holding hope (Jan 7, 2013)

whitehawk said:


> l'm in a bad way this week and sorta thought maybe l should redo the room. Although l miss her so much maybe it's lucky l can't afford to right now though . l mean if l change it all then she hasn't been there , not ready for that l don't think.
> Damn beds that fkg big too though for just one person.


I know what you mean. I'm still in our home and bed that we shared together, while he has moved out. In some ways, it's comforting to be in the place that feels like home, but it's also hard because he's not here anymore. 

Sometimes I feel ok and sort of forget about my situation for a while... and then a strong wave of it washes over me and his absence feels so noticeable. In certain situations, it almost feels like I can feel him there with me, because it's stuff we've done together hundreds of times. 

He says it's been hard for him to leave everything that's familiar to him, but also easier because he doesn't have memories of us everywhere. Once our D is final, he will move back in and I will have to move out since I can't afford to live here, so I'll be living somewhere new. Am curious to see what the new start and new home will feel like. Somewhat looking forward to it, and somewhat scared and sad to live somewhere with no signs of him.


----------



## lee101981 (Sep 6, 2012)

As I am in our home I think the spouse that moved out has it alot easier then us who have to look at our bed room everyday and the empty side of the closet. It is hard cause there are so many memories. I did buy a new bed once he moved out.


----------



## whitehawk (Aug 14, 2012)

Yeah I dunno. I go over to what we call her new place now for my daughter , it is soooo weird .
About a thousand times I've felt like just packing the car and driving off out of this one though. If I was rich I would have long ago.


----------

