# Married for a month and sex is limited



## peachy5108 (Sep 13, 2009)

My husband and I have been together for 2 years, we recently got married in august. We have no sex. Since we have been home from honeymoon its been twice! When we first started dating is was all the time, and fun. Now its like I have to drag him in there to even want to. Its same position and routine and thats it. 
He works overnight shifts which really puts a damper on it. I enjoy sex and I thought he did too. I feel like its not suppose to be this way, I love him. I want to have sex! 
I don't know what to do


----------



## peachy5108 (Sep 13, 2009)

any suggestions any help?


----------



## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Yeah, change the work schedule!


----------



## peachy5108 (Sep 13, 2009)

thats what i say and it can't happen until shift change requests. they can't say he will even get it. ughh i hate it!


----------



## peachy5108 (Sep 13, 2009)

yes i bought a fun coupon book, i try to talk about things, he seems interested in everything and everyone else but me


----------



## chuckf75 (Sep 6, 2009)

Have you talked with him about this? Communication is the key to good sex!


----------



## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

my H was interested in sex in the first few months we were dating. when i moved in with him, everything stopped. he never wanted sex. 

i did everything to try and understand him (i found a bunch of porn on the computer), try and help the situation, but while i was doing that i didnt notice that my resentment and hatred of him was also growing. 

My advice to you is to back off. your H knows why he doesnt want sex but he's not interested in also helping. if you keep putting everything into trying to coax him into sex all that's going to happen is you're going to lose your self-esteem, hate him, and he's going to resent you and avoid you more. 

the best thing you can do is stop asking for sex, and do nothing to try and get it from him. i know that's hard, believe me i have had to go through it and am still going through it, but now that ive backed off i dont hate him, im getting over my resentment. of course the next step is, how long do you wait for him to change. but that's entirely up to you. but trying to force him into any change will do no good.


----------



## Choose2love (Jul 28, 2009)

I agree with Blanca, as long as he knows what the issue is, and no common ground compromise can be reached. Trying to force the issue will drive him crazy and drive his desire down the drain. That is the opposite of what you want. 

If, after backing off, things still dont change, you have to decide how long you are willing to go without. You are only 1 month in (same here) and dont have children (or none mentioned)... if he doesnt want sex at all, and you want it, and he is not willing to up the frequency from 0 to anything... you may need to dissolve this (as you have already decreased the frequency from often to 0). 

Have you asked him what would work for him, with you, not with "everything and everyone else but me"?


----------



## peachy5108 (Sep 13, 2009)

thanks for the great advice ladies, i really appreciate it. i think im going to back off, he knows its a problem and apparently doesn't care or mind. its like we got married and it shot down lol.


----------

