# The Bad Guy



## brokeninoklahoma (Jun 26, 2013)

My husband cheated on me with someone from our daughters soccer team, when I found out I asked both of them to stop. I begged him and begged him to give our marriage another shot, even 30days. He just kept saying he was confused. That was almost 2 months ago. We are still living together (although I am moving out in 3 days), I still love him to death, even though they continually text and see each other. They even went out of town together ( I found out only because I found the pictures). I feel guilty for leaving him, He keeps saying he has no where to go. We have a little girl together and it breaks my heart to hear her say we shouldn't get a divorce. I feel like the bad guy here. I feel like no matter what I do, pay his cell bill, do his laundry, play nice, it comes back to me that I'm the one moving out and leaving him in a bind. He is still seeing this woman, even as she has left her husband and going through a divorce. I feel like a failure, I know I need to let him go, but how do you do that when you love someone so much.


----------



## smallsteps (Feb 23, 2013)

Uuumm you are not the bad guy - hes the one acting like a fool. Hes playing you - you're doing all this for someone who is cheating on you & has no concern for your feelings - why should you care about his? Bending over backwards is not going to get him back - it will only enable him more. Read many of the threads on this board - you need to stand up to him - tell him to leave if hes going to carry on like this. He cant have it both ways & that's what you're allowing him to do.


----------



## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

The odds of you "nicing" him out of his affair are very very slim, and you've already tried that. Have you tried smaking him out of it by exposing it? Have you talked to a lawyer about your rights?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## brokeninoklahoma (Jun 26, 2013)

He has admitted what he is doing. He publically on facebook tells her she looks amazing. I have caught him at her house..its no secret. I have an appt. With a lawyer next week about filing and getting custody of our daughter. Every day I feel like the bad one. As of yesterday I was packing the house up to move and asked for his help with something, it blew up in a argument and I got called the B word. I mean really??
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

Been there and done that...my dad told me something that helped me get through the process. Pull yourself up, do what needs to be done, there will be time for crying later. That is exactly what I need to hear at the time. I'm sorry he is treating you that way but you can change this and get through the horrible hurt.


----------



## Tomara (Jun 19, 2013)

brokeninoklahoma said:


> He has admitted what he is doing. He publically on facebook tells her she looks amazing. I have caught him at her house..its no secret. I have an appt. With a lawyer next week about filing and getting custody of our daughter. Every day I feel like the bad one. As of yesterday I was packing the house up to move and asked for his help with something, it blew up in a argument and I got called the B word. I mean really??
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I too got told I was a *****! I almost fell over laughing and told him it was about time he at least showed some kind of emotion. Hang in there, you are doing what is right and good for your family.


----------



## sms0422 (Jun 27, 2013)

You are not the bad guy! You are taking care of you and your family! He is the one who destroyed the family! I feel you pain of being the bad guy. 6 weeks ago, my husband told me - out of no where - he wanted a divorce. His reasonings were because "we don't get along" and feels he isn't fulfilled. He told a mutual friend that I am too insecure and jealous. Yeah maybe I am but that's after he got caught texting a woman I thought was our best friend and apparently they were much closer than I thought. After 6 weeks of stonewalling, not to mention playing happy husband one day and then cold mean husband the next, I finally told him its time we get started on getting the house on the market and start getting this divorce going. There is so much to sort out and we aren't moving on with our lives by continuing to live as husband and wife when he wants a divorce. He got completely furious with me and accused me of trying to dig nails in the coffin and I was trying to hurt him by advising him of the process I was making today with getting some things started and now he is angry at me and acting like I was the one who initiated the divorce and then trying to rub salt in the wounds! How am I the bad guy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## 06Daddio08 (Jul 26, 2012)

Sorry that you are here due to these circumstances, it's not a fun situation at all. The reason why you feel like the 'bad guy' is a simple, yet a hard pill to swallow. You have absolutely no self worth, if you did, you wouldn't be folding his laundry while he slept with another woman.

Why wouldn't he continue to do what he is doing, when you allow it? Time to stop paying him to sleep around on you and cut him loose. No one deserves to live like that.


----------



## brokeninoklahoma (Jun 26, 2013)

Well update: thanks for the support. I have moved out of the house and am learning that although its hard, I basically have to put "my big girl panties on and get over it". thanks for the encouraging words


----------

