# I Know, I Know, This is Hopelessly Stupid...



## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

I have always thought that naming a daughter after her mother is a really great idea. My ex's name is Mary. When she was pregnant with our daughter I begged her to name her Mary, Jr. I was cut to ribbons, beaten and tossed out of the car at 90 MPH. But men name sons after them and no one bats an eye. 

So what is it with naming daughters after their mothers that seems so angstful to the female persuasion?


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

thatbpguy said:


> I have always thought that naming a daughter after her mother is a really great idea. My ex's name is Mary. When she was pregnant with our daughter I begged her to name her Mary, Jr. I was cut to ribbons, beaten and tossed out of the car at 90 MPH. But men name sons after them and no one bats an eye.
> 
> So what is it with naming daughters after their mothers that seems so angstful to the female persuasion?


Probably just tradition. And plus you don't call girls Junior to distinguish which one you talking to. My H is the 3rd in line with his name but everyone in his very large family call him Tre. But you can't call a girl Tre. 

I know this sounds like a stupid answer but at 30 week pregnant I have very little brain function left.


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I'm not particularly fond of the whole Jr thing.I can only assume that it's common and more acceptable for men to do it bc of the legacy issue and wanting to leave your mark on the world.This is a shot in the dark guess though.

A lot of women have severe dislike for their names and when you're a little girl you dream up fancy beautiful names for your future children.To have someone request that you stick your child with the same drab name you've had to deal with your whole life is awful!! LOL


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

Sadly, both answers have some common sense to them.

[sigh] 

Hopefully, I'm ahead of my time.


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## norajane (Feb 7, 2012)

Hmm, how would you differentiate between Mary and Mary in the house? It seems like that would immediately require a nickname for the little one, which seems counterproductive if you really want her to be called Mary after her mother.

One member of my family gave two of her daughters essentially the same name, one is the full name and one is the nickname (like, Katherine and Kate).

I'm not a fan of Junior and the III for boys, either. I think each should have their own identity. It smacks too much of ego and mini-me and trying for immortality. YMMV.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

I think it's a sweet thing, It is sad she got so upset about it. Plus she is your daughter too.


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## TiggyBlue (Jul 29, 2012)

It didn't use to be uncommon for girls to be named after their mother, personally I'm not keen on the thought of doing it either way (my dad was a junior he hated it).


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

mablenc said:


> I think it's a sweet thing, It is sad she got so upset about it. Plus she is your daughter too.


Finally, a kindred spirit.

Our compromise was odd. I got to choose the initials, my ex got to choose the first name (based on the first initial I came up with) and I got to choose the middle name.


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## mablenc (Feb 26, 2013)

thatbpguy said:


> Finally, a kindred spirit.
> 
> Our compromise was odd. I got to choose the initials, my ex got to choose the first name (based on the first initial I came up with) and I got to choose the middle name.


My son is named after my husband but I cheated a bit because I liked the name since I was small. But even if he had the worst name on earth I would still name my son after him, plus a nice middle name  He always says if we have a girl he wants to name her after me.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

My mother, my STBXW, and my daughter all share the same middle name. Perhaps that's the compromise, instead of first names? Obviously the fact that my mom and STBXW share a middle name is a fluke... But as it happens, my SO and sister also share their middle name. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thatbpguy (Dec 24, 2012)

PBear said:


> My mother, my STBXW, and my daughter all share the same middle name. Perhaps that's the compromise, instead of first names? Obviously the fact that my mom and STBXW share a middle name is a fluke... But as it happens, my SO and sister also share their middle name.
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's a GREAT idea!!


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## BFGuru (Jan 28, 2013)

My philosophy is one that may not be popular, but when the men go through hours of labor and pushing and months of morning sickness, stretch marks, braxton hicks contractions for months and oain beyond belief at birth,instead of just being proud their soldiers hit the mark then their opinion outweighs mine. 

However, I did try to consider his likes and wishes. I did draw the line at my daughters name, and determined she would be named after my grandmother. He didn't like the name. I said I am not asking. I am calling her and letting the woman who's house I was born in know she has a name sake. I will however allow you to choose if it is her first or middle name. As such, it is her middle name lol. And we did plot her first name together off of a short list I gathered. He was very happy with the end result.


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## Leahdorus (Jul 28, 2008)

My grandmother's name was Mary Alice, and she named her first daughter the same name. Grandmom went by Mary Alice (first and middle), and my aunt went by Mary or by a nickname (totally different sounding nickname).


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

BFGuru said:


> My philosophy is one that may not be popular, but when the men go through hours of labor and pushing and months of morning sickness, stretch marks, braxton hicks contractions for months and oain beyond belief at birth,instead of just being proud their soldiers hit the mark then their opinion outweighs mine.


I don't know about that approach. Seem disrespectful to the father.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I'm named after my father and grandfather but have always gone by my middle name. My son also has the same first namee but he too goes by his middle name. That's one way to keep the tradition without the confusion.

I recall when my grandfather lived with us for a while. People would call and ask to speak to *insert name here*. I would ask Jr or Sr? Assuming my father was senior and I was junior they would say senior only to end up confused when I put my grandfather on the phone. :scratchhead:


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## LoveAtDaisys (Jul 3, 2013)

My brother and father had the same first name, but different middle names. People still have gotten confused and attempted to call him a Junior more than once.

I told my husband I'm willing to do first or middle but not both. I've never personally been a fan of Juniors! I don't know that I would name my daughter after me, but I know my aunt has given her daughters her sisters' middle names. I might do that.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

Sorry op I'd balk at the too! I don't like the whole Jr thing... but then I think it's an american thing. You don't hear of it in my part of the world very often.

Both my boys have their grandfathers names for middle names and my sisters middle name is my mums first name.
In my in-laws house the mum, the dad and one of the children all have the initials M. E Surname. It causes confusion sometimes...although nothing life threatening... just the wrong people opening mail from time to time... the son recently opened a letter informing him he was due another mammogram. He figured it out pretty quick!


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## Thor (Oct 31, 2011)

I always wanted to be Odin III. My Grandfather Odin had a very interesting life and was professionally successful. I looked up to my Dad, Odin Jr., and wanted to be just like him. One day at about age 10 I asked at the dinner table why I wasn't Odin III, which was met with funny looks and some kind of deflection.

I found out 20 years later there is an Odin III, with another woman from before he met my mom.

So I named my son Odin but without a # because he has a different middle name.

My wife's side of the family has used a particular girl's name in every generation for a long time. We used it as a middle name for one of our girls in order to carry on the tradition.

Tradition is good. Find a way to use the name creatively if the mom is resistant.


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## pollywog (May 30, 2013)

My youngest is named after me and it was ok. She was not a jr tho. My name is actually the nick name of her name, but is my legal name. We share the same middle name as well.


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## Starstarfish (Apr 19, 2012)

In our family, we've passed down the same middle name for women going back quite a few generations - Elizabeth. 

But - I think that someone's first name also helps to give personality and make them unique. 

And yes - I think part of the reason its easier done with boys than girls is because boys then have a built in nickname "Junior" - there's really no equivalent if a girl and her mother have the same name. So - you'd end up needing to call her something else anyways, unless you are one of those couples that calls each other "Ma" and "Pa" in front of the kids.


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