# Ladies, what's you take?



## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

Its no secret that my husband and I are separated currently.

When I finally broke and left I was and still am certain that there was no possible way for us to salvage what was left with us still living in the situation we were in.

Since then, he's gone on binges, once that he confessed attempted to make it his goal to sleep with someone else, slandered myself, my family, my mother, and people I used to know from that town will no longer speak to me, including his family.

When he's away from me, he can brag about what he's done to me, slander me, hate me etc...when Im around he melts. He admitted this, he admitted despite making it his goal to hate me and ignore me he can't the minute he sees me.

Any time we've talked since its been like talking to one of 3 people, and my little brother noticed there were two different types of my husband that he's talked to himself.

in one instance he's sorry and he knows how horrible he was and he understands why I left and thinks that this was the best thing for us..in the next instance I emotionally, spiritually, and physically abandoned him...

can I just ask what the hell? either way Im in this house away from that for as long as it takes me to get my own stuff together. So Im in a safe stable place where I can do what I need to do for me.

but what is your take on what he's doing? its not so much having jumbled thoughts as it seriously feels like talking to different people, the language and word usage even changes. Clearly he needs some therapy, I'm not fretting over it..I'm just not certain what his problem even could possibly be.

it litterally makes no sense, Ive even had him take actions he's made, and in conversation tell me that I actually did them to him. 

Anyone ever run into anything like this before?


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Well, in a way I have. Sorry I haven't been reading your other threads; I'm not familiar with your situation. Anyway, I'm a little unclear on one area. Does he exhibit these three distinct personalities in your presence? Or, are some of them second hand (what others have told you)?

My estranged husband could exhibit three different personalities as well. My therapist actually called my attention to the possibility that part of the problem could be related to a multiple personality disorder. We were under so much stress, and I had no idea what was going on. She instructed me how to conduct some exercises--which proved to be interesting.

The old R was sweet, patient, and family-oriented. Sugar Daddy, was one wild party animal who cared nothing about his family. He was all ego and cared nothing about others. And then there was the child R. This personality tended to show up when I was nailing him with proof of what Sugar Daddy was doing. It was then like a six year old child trying to avoid punishment. it was weird! Now that the estranged husband isn't under so much stress, he seems to be his old self (on the occasions I have seen him).

You may want to read more on the subject of multiple personality disorders. My therapist did tell me there is one common thread among them though. They all have a child personality which shows up to "protect" them. However, you probably need to consult a professional on this one.


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## CLucas976 (Jun 27, 2010)

That actually makes a lot of sense, there is the man who loves his wife (one of him my brother noticed) the sweet wonderful loving man that I fell for in the first place. The party guy, soaks in all the attention, love flirting with and chatting up women, drinking, drugging, any and everything but me..like litterally take me to a party and abandon me, Ive had his friends fend guys off of me that wouldn't leave me alone because he was nowhere to be found. And then theres the angry mean version. To this one I do nothing right, everything is my fault, Im lazy, I disgust him and its almost to an abusive point with the insults and mental beat downs he completely destroys me.

He does have his own defensives protective modes that are gone into instantly as soon as anything is brought up that isnt "sunshine and rainbows" essentially. and he'll go through a few different motions of shut down to keep out any of what is being discussed, afterwards to only play the victim.

its just nuts. I spent the last year trying to work around it and find a way to get in and communicate to no avail and only to have things get worse. Its funny you said it was like a kid, Ive spent the last year saying I didn't get married to be a mother, I didn't want a child, I wanted a partner and companion.

thanks for the response. For a while I thought he might be APD too, strangeness either way I guess


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## SurpriseMyself (Nov 14, 2009)

jeckle and hyde or no, i'd call that relationship over. he's a nut and life is too short. if anyone smeared my name among friends and family on purpose, the last thing i would do is even be in the same room with them.


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