# Very Lost and Broken ! .... Very Long



## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

I have been cheated on by every girl I have been with. My first wife slept with my brother and 2 of my friends. That was when I was 16-17 and being that young was so overbearing I couldn't cope with it. I ended up marrying her though and mentally tortured her through all of it. We moved from Vermont to Myrtle beach. Finally I saw what I was doing and let her go and get a new life. She always tried to make up for it by being the ideal wife in all aspects for 10yrs and I just couldn't shake the pain. I still haven't talked to my brother since and its been 23 years ! I found a girl soon after and poured my heart into her and her child. The father of the girl never wanted her , so I took care of them. She absolutely hated this guy. After 2yrs she decided to get him for support and he still denied it was his kid. Then one night I discovered he was at her house while she was trying to avoid me. She was sleeping with him behind my back. I was crushed ! I then met a girl that I loved so much and we got along great. We moved in together and after 2 yrs together she was getting dropped of at the house by a guy on Valentines day which she chose over being with me and I found out she left her overnight bag in his car. After that , I was on a path of self destruction and turned to drugs. I had never touched heavy drugs in my life up till 30yrs old. With all this continuous rejection and pain I developed a cocaine/crack habit that would have killed a regular drug user. I went from 180lbs ripped muscle to 128lbs of pale frail waste within 6 months It got so bad I was talking to shadow people that weren't even there . I lost everything, my sports car, my money and a good job. I found a new job and met a really beautiful girl at work. She was so into me and flirting all the time ,it felt refreshing . We finally started to get serious and within the first month she was sleeping with our boss. Back on the drugs I went ! While being in the drug atmosphere I met the last girl ( which is now the mother of my child ) . She was a drug user since 15yrs old and was 22 and I was now 32. One morning when we woke up , something hit me and said " Enough is Enough " . I told her I wasn't going to work and was gonna head back home to Vermont and get cleaned up ( After 8 months of drug abuse ) and offered her to come and straighten out her life with me. We went to Vermont and she started stealing money from my father for beer while I was looking for work in the middle of winter. I kicked her out and bought her a plane ticket back home to Myrtle Beach. From their I moved to an Island ( Martha's Vineyard ) and began doing carpentry. I stayed in an enclosed bedroom for 6 months and didn't even watch TV. I just sat dormant and reflecting on my life.

Now I was doing alright and finally at some peace in my mind and then one day somehow she got ahold of me and it was somewhat refreshing to talk to her again. I told her she could come to the island if she really wanted to get her life together and flew her up. She came up and we eventually moved out of my friends and into our own place. We were doing great and she found a job. Then she started wanting to go to work parties which I told her wasn't a good idea for her sobriety. She resented me for it and eventually left to go live with a new friend. It didn't last a week and she called crying to come back. That night our son was conceived . She was fine for throughout the pregnancy and our son was amazing. He was the joy of my life. The work soon ran out and we were forced to move . Her mother said we could go back to Myrtle Beach and live in her house for free for awhile till we got work. Big Mistake ! As soon as we crossed the border she was talking to old friends and back on the pills she was addicted to before. From there she started coming home at 5am and getting dropped off by guys. She then asked me to move out. Within 10 days She was sleeping with her boss in our bed. I would have to call her everyday to wake her up from his house to come home. When I would go over to drop my son off I would find cocaine in the drawer and condoms in the trash. It was too overwhelming. One morning I found her boss in her bed while dropping my son off before work. She attacked me on my way into the bedroom and was arrested for domestic violence. About a month later she ended her fling and wanted to straighten out again , so I allowed her to move in with me. She never went to rehab like she said she was gonna and never shut her phone off like we agreed. She stayed for 12 months and when spring hit she was out again till 5am all the time. I finally threw her out and she got her own place. Within a week or two my son walked into a different guy in her bed when my moms husband dropped him off. My son was destroyed by it now he was 4yrs old and this is the second guy in 12 months he has walked into in her bed. She kept on with this guy for 2 months and started comin over to my house again saying she loved me. We started having sex again which was kind of creepy at this point. I then called the OM and told him where she was all week just so he knew and it was actually for his own good. He got pissed and called me names and that was that. She started staying with me overnight for the next 2 months every night for the most part and still kept her place too. She said she would get help and be in rehab by September . Which was 4 weeks ago. She never did anything and just stopped coming by and never called. Right then , I knew she was up to no good again and its been like this for the past 2 weeks. I told her , I knew what she was up to and that I was done with all of her lies and rejection. She said she is taking time for herself and was trying to do the right thing , which she said the other times and was sleeping with these guys shortly after. Says she's gonna go to counseling and meetings . She has tried this before and ends up quitting the meeting and the counseling and besides what does that have to do with me. I have been the one trying to get her to go all along ! She absolutely hates me for trying to show her a good way to live and now I have wasted all of these years and am back to being alone. Now someone else will reap the rewards of all my hard work. I am mentally broke down from a life of being cheated on and rejected ! Very emotional tonight and I just can't cope very well at all . Really tired of crying and breaking down at work. Thanks for reading my story ! Sorry was so long but wanted to show the history of cheating I have dealt with all my life. ;0(

P.S I have been drug free for 8yrs !


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

First I wanna say good on you!! Drug Free for 8 years thats awesome! You should be proud. 

But, honestly, you need to file for custody and get your son away from her. Heres the reality of it all. ACS could step in, take your son away from her and put him in the system. Its only a matter of time until neighbors, teachers or friends rat her out on her absurd, and unsafe behavior she is exposing your son to. 

And you really shouldnt be bothering with her. Not just because of the cheating..but because of her risky lifestyle. 

Im usually one of those, " what do you want to do" type of people...buttttt in this case I think you need to be told:

Get your son, and get away from her. Its really not a safe environment for him, and seeing how youve been straight for 8 years, you seem like the ideal parent in this situation.

Good luck, I wish you the best.


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## Workingitout (Sep 27, 2010)

Time to find a "like minded" woman! Someone who appreciates your sobriety and appreciates you. Realize that you attract a specific type of woman, and you are attracted to that type. It's time to change the "type" of woman you look for. Perhaps you want the type that needs to be rescued. You are a knight in shining armour and need to save these women from themselves. Give it up and find someone who will be faithful, sober, healthy and into you! Good luck.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Nikki1023 said:


> First I wanna say good on you!! Drug Free for 8 years thats awesome! You should be proud.
> 
> But, honestly, you need to file for custody and get your son away from her. Heres the reality of it all. ACS could step in, take your son away from her and put him in the system. Its only a matter of time until neighbors, teachers or friends rat her out on her absurd, and unsafe behavior she is exposing your son to.
> 
> ...


Thank you for your words. Like I have stated on other posts . I am really afraid of losing custody if I try for it. Then I will see my son much less than I do. I see have him 80% of the time now. Others have stated to go to a lawyer and I know I need to , but the sheer thought of losing to her and having to give her money on top of it just kills me . The odds of me getting sole custody of him in South Carolina is slim to none. The want more proof than what I have. But I know it will go to court soon enough I'm sure.


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## Nikki1023 (Sep 24, 2011)

If she does drugs, all you need is a drug test, right? Atleast he is with you most of the time then. I hope for his sake and yours, you are able to move forward and start your life with just him.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Nikki1023 said:


> If she does drugs, all you need is a drug test, right? Atleast he is with you most of the time then. I hope for his sake and yours, you are able to move forward and start your life with just him.


She sees a doctor that has prescribed her a pill called suboxone which is suppose to block the inhibitors in the brain from wanting or getting effects from pills. Problem is that it is also a highly addictive pill and she can't get off them now. She has been on them for 2 years and when she tries to get off them she goes into body pain and gets right back on street drugs. Suboxone is suppose to be administered along with counseling and NA meeting 5 times a week which she doesn't do. He also drug tests her every 2 weeks in order for her to get more and she does cocaine right after the drug test for a week and then stays clean for a week before the next one. Then they don't detect it. Now I know for a fact that she has smoked pot throughout this so-called therapy and that must be getting detected. But he still keeps her on them. She treats it like some kind of game. In the last 2 months she has been weaning off of them and was supposedly ready to go to rehab and he told her he didn't think it was a good idea for her to get off the suboxone and just start going to counseling and meetings which hasn't worked in the past. She needs to go to rehab and be secluded from everything for 3-6 months and re-establish her way of living and her mind, but she just won't do it. She always takes the easy way out. The judge will see it as she is trying to get better !


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

CJ2 for the sake of your son, why don't you arrange fir her to get caught with all these drugs and thrown in jail. 

I gotta wonder what she must be doing to earn these drugs etc, as she doesn't sound like someone who can be trusted to hold a job. Not to mention the STDs she must have caught along the way.

She sounds like a train wreck that is only a matter of time before it crashes, possibly enough to kill her. 

Your story is heart breaking.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> CJ2 for the sake of your son, why don't you arrange fir her to get caught with all these drugs and thrown in jail.
> 
> I gotta wonder what she must be doing to earn these drugs etc, as she doesn't sound like someone who can be trusted to hold a job. Not to mention the STDs she must have caught along the way.
> 
> ...


There is no way to set her up. She is too sneaky when she needs to be. She has definitely slept with some pretty gruesome guys before I met her just to get drugs , money and a place to stay. She is manipulative because she is kinda hot and easy to get by the looks. If she's not dead yet , she won't ever get there now. She is a veteran drug user .She has already been to jail 4 times. Car theft, stealing and domestic violence ! My worry is what might happen to my son. I walked in her house the other day to find my son standing in her living room by himself while she was in the bedroom snoring. He is only 4yrs old. There were matches on the floor and pills prescription pills by her bed with the door unlocked. He could have walked right out the door and she would have never known. or caught the house on fire. I am so scared ! Need to get to a lawyer soon I think.


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Get the lawyer tomorrow.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Shaggy said:


> Get the lawyer tomorrow.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Those money suckers scare me , especially with so much on the line. But it has to be done ! Got the name of one today.


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## crossbar (Aug 25, 2011)

Workingitout said:


> Time to find a "like minded" woman! Someone who appreciates your sobriety and appreciates you. Realize that you attract a specific type of woman, and you are attracted to that type. It's time to change the "type" of woman you look for. Perhaps you want the type that needs to be rescued. You are a knight in shining armour and need to save these women from themselves. Give it up and find someone who will be faithful, sober, healthy and into you! Good luck.


BINGO!!!! If you see a girl YOUR attracted to? Don't go there, look for the exact opposite!!


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

CJ2 said:


> Says she's gonna go to counseling and meetings . She has tried this before and ends up quitting the meeting and the counseling and besides what does that have to do with me. I have been the one trying to get her to go all along ! She absolutely hates me for trying to show her a good way to live and now I have wasted all of these years and am back to being alone......P.S I have been drug free for 8yrs !


Listen, I don't know much at all about the Courts, but others here may, this stuff you mentioned HERE, her NOT keeping counseling meetings, she's been in jail 4 times -domestic violence!!! Do you have a record too? If not, Surely ALL of this is in your favor BIG TIME to get custody of your son. Start taking pictures, gather evidence, keep a journal, talk to a lawyer, get a plan of action. TODAY. I would think , if you are a good man now, you will win hands down if there is a custody battle in the courts. 

If you have been drug free for years like this, this is in your favor, the parent who has cleaned up his life and is living for his child. Courts are supposed to care most about the welfare of the children. 

A man fighting up against a sqeeky clean MOM wouldn't have a chance, but this ..... Oh my !!


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

SimplyAmorous said:


> Listen, I don't know much at all about the Courts, but others here may, this stuff you mentioned HERE, her NOT keeping counseling meetings, she's been in jail 4 times -domestic violence!!! Do you have a record too? If not, Surely ALL of this is in your favor BIG TIME to get custody of your son. Start taking pictures, gather evidence, keep a journal, talk to a lawyer, get a plan of action. TODAY. I would think , if you are a good man now, you will win hands down if there is a custody battle in the courts.
> 
> If you have been drug free for years like this, this is in your favor, the parent who has cleaned up his life and is living for his child. Courts are supposed to care most about the welfare of the children.
> 
> A man fighting up against a sqeeky clean MOM wouldn't have a chance, but this ..... Oh my !!


I have never been to jail or had any prior record. I only did drug for 8 months in my life and that was 8 yrs ago.


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## OptimisticPessimist (Jul 26, 2010)

First off, I echo the sentiments you should immediately get hard proof that she is doing drugs and take it straight to court. That child needs you to step up and be a man. Not to be a jerk, but are you sure its your son?

Secondly, and please hear me out, you either have a very poor taste in women or you are doing something during the relationships to make them move on to other men. More than likely you are providing them with love but not with leadership. It is a vastly overstated meme in todays society that love somehow feeds itself- you must be a man, demand respect, be respectful, be firm but open-minded, and you must do what you can to guide those around you.

As I said in another thread, you must do everything you can to better yourself as a man and now as a father. That is the way to the woman of your dreams, the way to bringing up a smart and successful son, and the way to avoid this cycle of misery you seem to be in. I wish you the best..


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

OptimisticPessimist said:


> First off, I echo the sentiments you should immediately get hard proof that she is doing drugs and take it straight to court. That child needs you to step up and be a man. Not to be a jerk, but are you sure its your son?
> 
> Secondly, and please hear me out, you either have a very poor taste in women or you are doing something during the relationships to make them move on to other men. More than likely you are providing them with love but not with leadership. It is a vastly overstated meme in todays society that love somehow feeds itself- you must be a man, demand respect, be respectful, be firm but open-minded, and you must do what you can to guide those around you.
> 
> As I said in another thread, you must do everything you can to better yourself as a man and now as a father. That is the way to the woman of your dreams, the way to bringing up a smart and successful son, and the way to avoid this cycle of misery you seem to be in. I wish you the best..


I am very intelligent and caring. I also have a very strong mind set in how things should be. I listen to the problems and give the best advice and direction possible and she never seems to take it. I am not over judging and will forgive things as you can see . I am not a step on type of guy even though it seems that way. I just desire to be happy and do everything right to make things work. I am not some love sick puppy , I have just been reprogrammed by the games these woman play. Each plays a different mind game and by the time I figure it out they are gone. These girls are masters of manipulation. I know cause I use to play the game too a long time ago and for them to hide it so well is truly amazing to me. They play it so well I think am intrigued by their devastating display of affection and hatred that I stick around to actually figure it out so the next one can't do it. I am not an idiot , I do know this has been no good for me and is not healthy what so ever. I also know that she is not really in love with me at all or ever has been. But if you play a losing game as long as I have , I guess you never expect to win.


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

Good for you being sober 8 years!!!

You need to get your son away from his mother. You need to get full custody of him. You do need to get documented proof of her drug use and neglect of your son.
Chances are she isn't talking very good care of him. And who knows one of men she allows in may hurt him. Drugs are involved and things do happen. (i think to much) 
I am sure that you will have an excellent change at getting custody of your son.. DO it before something happens to him.

Another option is call child protective services on her.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

I am getting my documents together now . Alot of it is just my word against hers though. If I lose the custody battle then I won't see my son only 5 times per months and will have to give her $500/month for her partying. Very scary ! Called her this morning at 630am to try and drop him off to her and she wasn't home. She was in another guys bed again. Finally knowing the truth again is way to much to handle. I am lost right now .


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Hey ! The ex went to her first day of counseling and wanted to come over and talk after. So I knew what it was gonna be , the whole " I'm getting my life together " speech . I stood my ground and got her to admit what a piece of crap she has been. I knew it was all just so she could move on with her new man and justify it with some glorious angelic inspiration for her new recovery program. Bottom line is she is gonna get better eventually but in the end the new guy will reap the benefits , not me. On a good note I have got her to agree to sign custody over to me. I made it quite clear if she didn't that I was gonna fight her for it and it was gonna be ugly. Told her to make up her mind and stick to it . She agreed to sign him over , so next week I am going ASAP and get this ball rolling. I know its just so she can live in peace with this new guy , but at least I have my son and that will never get overturned in the future. Wish me luck ! I think this will help me get over her a little bit but its still killin me inside that she is gone for good.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Well, its been awhile since I have been on here and many things have transpired since. The ex came back to me crying to get her some help on November 3rd. I made her leave the other guy she had been sleeping with for six weeks. She actually let me write the breakup speech and text it to him. He called the next morning and didn't believe that she wrote it. I brought the phone to her and she admitted she meant it. I then went to work while having a 40min conversation with this guy about who she was and what she does to guys. I told him that he was the 4th guy she had been with in 12 months and the 3rd in 2 months. I also told him that she was a raging drug addict and didn't love either of us but I try to keep her around for my sons sake and make the family try to work. He seemed understanding and thanked me for the advice and info. I gave her an ultimatum to get into a rehab within 4 days. I actually paid off her car since that is what was stopping her from going so she said. In six weeks of leaving me in september she had lost her car , got evicted and was gonna get her car repo'd. She also took up stripping for a weekend. I took her phone while she was with me and kept it by my side. I had answered it whenever somebody called. I had to tell all the drug deallers to leave her alone and that she would be gone for 6 months to rehab. I also got texts from some guy looking for sex. Come to find out it had got so bad she was shooting needles also. Well she poured on the tears and claimed she was gonna get herself straight for our family and that she wanted us to be happy. She went to detox on November 11th . I sent her a phone,stamps and some belonging she needed. She called about 2 weeks into it and said she was out of detox and gonna get into the 28 day program they had available on site which was alot shorter program than what we agreed upon. We planned she would do a 3-6 month program. She always takes the easy way out. She called a few more times throughout the program and claimed she could only talk for 10mins twice per week. She sounded great and sincere and kept telling me that things were gonna get better for us and she couldn't wait to come home. She also said that her and the counselors thought it would be a great idea to play a fun game with my son and count down the days till mommy came home. On december 27 she got released and told me not to worry about picking her up and that her NA sponsor was gonna come get her. I knew something was fishy about that. She called around 10:30am and said she would be here soon. I asked her how she got picked up and she claimed her sponsor did again. I knew better, so I waited outside for her to pull in. Sure enough she pulled up with the same guy she was sleeping with before and told me she was moving in with him into a new apartment ! Then she couldn't understand why I was so pissed and yelling. She blamed me for stressing her out in the first 20 mins back. Now I have to tell my son that the fun countdown was all a mistake and mommy wasn't coming home ! He didn't take it well. So she stayed for 4hrs and visited with my son and had the guy pick her back up and took all her stuff with her. She came the next 2 nights to see him and stayed till midnight till her man got out of work to pick her up. The second night she said she wanted to come home and make things work .So the next day she had me pick her up at his house at 1100am and I dropped her off at my house and went back to work. The guy came by at 3:00pm and dropped all her stuff back off. My floor was covered with her junk. I got home 1 hour later and she was a crying mess and said she felt bad for what she did to him. She told my mother that she didn't love me anymore and this house just didn't feel right to her. So when her man got out of work at midnight , he came and loaded all her stuff back up and took her out again ! About 6 days later I got a text that she needed to talk to me in person. I tried to have her just call and she said that he couldn't hear what she had to say. So I let her come by. she got on the floor and started crying that she was sorry and that someone should have stopped her from leaving. She said she had been miserable over there and made the biggest mistake of her life. She claimed that I was the only one that ever cared about her and she really wanted us to work. SO GUESS WHAT ? She stayed overnight and left the next day around 1pm and he picked her up. That night after he went to work she packed all her stuff back up and had me pick her up at 11pm before he got out of work. She left him a note ( according to her ) that said she had cheated on him the whole time they were together and that I had never lied to him about anything. She left his phone on the counter and came back to my house. As we were driving she said " Oh well , you warned him what I was like and he didn't listen. What was he thinking ? " as she laughed ! Putting the blame on him. The first 5 days were great . We laughed and cuddled , went out to eat and made love a few times. On the sixth day she woke up and wouldn't even talk to me and right away I knew she was thinking about him ! She said she was going for a walk around 2pm and she is not a walker . I figured she was walking to his house and knew he had to be to work by 3:30pm. He lives about 2 miles down the road. I also knew that he had to drive by my house to get to work, so I went across the street and waited around 320pm . Sure enough he dropped her off up the road from my house and drove away. I pulled up next to her and said I saw him drop her of and she just laughed with the most evil smile ever. I told her to go home and pack her stuff and get out for good. I then called him and told him to come get her for the 5th time within 2 weeks and asked him if he was getting the picture yet of who she was? He didn't respond and she got mad. When he showed up I went downstairs and he had his door open. I hollered over at him and thanked him for letting me borrow her for a couple days ! He didn't say a word... Now she has been out of the house for 4days so far and wants to come see her son while I work. I don't trust her in my house alone so I got a lock for my bedroom , so she can't snoop and use my computer. I forgot to mention that I did get her to sign Physical custody over to me before she went to rehab. She wouldn't even read the terms and still signed it. When she got out of rehab she then read it and didn't like what it said, but I told her I wasn't gonna change a thing on it. It allows her visitation at my discretion and supervised until she can provide a clean hair sample which will tell if she has done any drug in the last 3 months. I also have the right to make her take a urine test if I feel she is on drugs. My biggest problem is that the court date is not until March 5th and then it becomes final . But it is still a binding contract until then . She has signed off on being at the hearing because she doesn't wanna be questioned by the judge. So right now I am trying not to get her mad so she doesn't challenge the documents. If she does then I am in a court battle. I will just appease her until then hopefully and then I will have true control over the situation and can relax a bit. I absolutely hate the idea that she will probably take him around this other guy at some point and there is not much I can do to stop it other than threaten to get her for child support if she does !


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

Cj why would you physically touch someoneso hideous. She likely hasa ton of STDs and most likely will get aids. 

Pack the boy up and run out of the state, do anything you can to remove him from her influence. She is a waste of life. Get him away from her forever. No chid should be exposed to a toxic person like her. No one. It is child abuse .

What kind of lowlife looser ths other guy must be to deal with her as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

CJ.. she has two co-dependent men now... you and the other guy. 

I get that you have to stick around until the court date. Please plan to leave town the day you get that court order... go back to your father's or anyone else who can help you.

Also... you need to get tested for STD's. I hope you are using protection when you are with her.


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## Tap1214 (Aug 14, 2011)

OMG, you are so co-dependent. Honestly, you need to get yourself to IC to find out why you continue to allow yourself in a relationship that's so dysfunctional mess. You need to cut yourself off from her ASAP, if not for yourself, do it for your son. 
You keep saying there's not much you can do, but YES YOU CAN!! She's a drugg addict, hangs around with bunch of low-life men for sex / money for drugs and your son is right in the middle. 
You are exposing your son not only to drugs addicts, but who knows, maybe even sex predators who preys on little kids. 
I'm sorry, but reading your above thread made me sick. Midst of all your dysfunctional crazyness, your son is right in the middle of it all. 
Please listen to everyone else on this site, get a lawyer and do something and get your son away from her and her crazy friends!!!!!


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## sadcalifornian (Sep 18, 2011)

You make her out to be this crazy drug abusing mom, but you know what? You are none better. You must fix yourself first before pretending you are any better. 


Sorry for the harsh words, but seriously, you need help.


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## Initfortheduration (Dec 12, 2008)

:iagree::iagree::iagree:I agree with shaggy. Run!


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

First of all , I can never leave the state since she has a legal right to visitation and that would be breaking the law , so my options there are slim. I have done much research since she left and found an enlightening diagnosis for her mental issues. It is called Narcissism and it is a highly powerful mental disorder. Narcissists can only survive on being desired and must have a fallback plan at all times. They suck you in with loving words and know just the right things to say to get you back after they leave. They are the most powerful manipulators in the world. They can most be related to Vampires. They feed off of your love and when they drain it all , then they get bored and go to the next victim. After they do the same to them , then they will come back and get whatever you have built up since they left. They call this " Feeding them their narcissistic supply ". They have to have this supply of games and torment to survive and if they can't find it they will wash the pain out with drugs ! They have such a trance on you that doctors say it is almost impossible to get out of without being very knowledgeable of what you are up against. This is why the OG can't stop letting her back in also , because he is in a trance too already. So it has been very empowering to find this info out and learn how to control this evil being. Problem is like you said , I have to have my son around her and she will corrupt his mind eventually by taking him around these guys. Narcissists have no conscience and cannot empathize with others feelings. I can honestly say that I am finally done , now that I know what I'm up against and also know that she can never change. Even therapists don't know how to fix a Narcissist , since they can't take blame or listen to reason !


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

I totally understand your aggression towards my foolish denial also and I appreciate it , but you can only imagine how angry I am at myself for doing this to me and my son time and time again. I always blamed it on her drug addiction for the past 8 years and hoped after she got help that she would finally see the light. I know what addiction does to people and there actions , but talking to her while she was in rehab and seeing her so full of life again and thinking clearly ( so I thought ) , I knew she was much better as far as her addiction. Then when she came home and in 2 weeks moved 5 times back and forth between me and this other guy , I knew there was a bigger issue than the drugs which led me to find out about the Narcissism . She can't even control her own thoughts and there is nothing she can do but stay lost in her world. They also explained that the OG is not any better or have any more than I do to offer other than a supply of love that she will never fully accept. They said " Don't be mad at him , just feel sorry for him because he is gonna have the same thing done to him, it's inevitable ! " She has already left him 5 times and ran around behind his back and even told him about it, so he is definitely stuck in her trance also. Believe it or not he actually seems like a nice guy which is a perfect supply for a narcissist. This is a mind monster we are dealing with and not just an addict !


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

Cant you prove her mental diorder in court with the documents from rehab and her continuous use of drug and doctors certificate of her mental illness. That she can harm the mental health and well being of Kid.
Any way you are a real looser in your life, Get yours elf some treatment and do STD tests. Dont go behind some ****s when you see them irst. wait for the right choice to come.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

Kallan Pavithran said:


> Cant you prove her mental diorder in court with the documents from rehab and her continuous use of drug and doctors certificate of her mental illness. That she can harm the mental health and well being of Kid.
> Any way you are a real looser in your life, Get yours elf some treatment and do STD tests. Dont go behind some ****s when you see them irst. wait for the right choice to come.


Therapist have a hard time diagnosing Narcissists because they can fool the best Therapists. They don't tell the whole truth , so the therapist would never know whats really going on.


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

CJ, I was a P.O. for ten years. Had a caseload of drug addicts and you share all the hallmarks of a codependent. Believe me, you need to get to IC and quick before this becomes the pattern of your life. Even if this woman magically disappeared one day, you would immediately go out and find another. That's why none of the women you have had relationships with you have ben faithful. You pick damaged, perverted women because they feed your codependency.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

spudster said:


> CJ, I was a P.O. for ten years. Had a caseload of drug addicts and you share all the hallmarks of a codependent. Believe me, you need to get to IC and quick before this becomes the pattern of your life. Even if this woman magically disappeared one day, you would immediately go out and find another. That's why none of the women you have had relationships with you have ben faithful. You pick damaged, perverted women because they feed your codependency.


Yeah , I definitely realize my issues. I have done much research on it and it is a pretty sad situation. As far as magically disappearing, well she has disappeared down the street with another guy and seems happier than life right now. He gets the drug free reward that I worked for 8 years to fix. It just kills me that she gets to be happy and I sit here with our kid and pick up the mind mess she left behind. Now she is gets her new life and happiness with her kid and doesn't do anything for it. She wants her cake and eat it too , after I baked it , frosted it and cut it for her ! She walks away smelling like a rose in every ones eyes.


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

Nah, she'll wear out er welcome with him soon enough. She's a coke *****, will never change her stripes. She'll come crawling back, and when she does you'll be tempted to take her back in, and the pattern will repeat itself. 

Get to IC and break the damn pattern!


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

spudster said:


> Nah, she'll wear out er welcome with him soon enough. She's a coke *****, will never change her stripes. She'll come crawling back, and when she does you'll be tempted to take her back in, and the pattern will repeat itself.
> 
> Get to IC and break the damn pattern!


I feel stupid asking , but what is IC ?


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## spudster (Jan 11, 2012)

Independent Counseling.


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## CJ2 (Oct 4, 2011)

spudster said:


> Independent Counseling.


I have thought about it many times. I just feel that I do know what my problem is and have read extensively on it. I just don't think they are gonna solve it or cure it. All they can do is analyze it for what it is. The cure comes from within I believe. I will definitely go and see what they say . Was also gonna go to some codependent 12 step meetings here in town when I can. Thanks !


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