# I hate rejecting him but . . .



## fishergirl02 (Jun 2, 2011)

Hello. This is my first time posting here but I need some advice and really don't have anyone to talk to. So here's the story:

I've been married for almost 5 years and hubby and I are in our late 20's. We have a really great relationship but there is one thing I can't stand about him and I have no idea what to do about it.

My husband frequently asks me to make love in places or at times that I don't think are appropriate.

For example, last year, he asked me to make love in the public sauna at a beach condo while on vacation with my parents. Naturally, I said no because I thought it would be very awkward if my family saw us.

Another time, I was visiting him at work. He works 24 hour shifts in a public building with cameras. At the time he came on to me, the building was essentially empty and he wanted me to go into a supply closet with him that he didn't think had a camera. I told him there was no way he could know if that room doesn't have a camera and said no b/c I didn't want to risk him getting fired.

I can't stand hurting his feelings by rejecting him in these cases but most of the time, I can't get past the thought of the repercussions of getting caught.

Am I wrong for rejecting him or he wrong for asking? Maybe it's not really what's right/wrong. idk


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

Public sauna...ew

And the other one forget the camera's hello he was at WORK. Um no.

I'm not into public sex so maybe someone else can chime in with suggestions on how to handle.


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## Undertheradar (May 11, 2011)

Ok, he's feeling adventurous. .

Me and my wife found an empty lifeguard chair on a dark beach one night. 
We've pulled over on a highway, and found a dark corner in a local park. 

I suggest you compromise.

Go out one night without panties, surprise him. Suggest you go park somewhere, and get it out of his system.
You won't have to worry about rejecting him, and he won't feel rejected or disappointed.

I say let your hair down, and get a little freaky.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fishergirl02 (Jun 2, 2011)

> Me and my wife found an empty lifeguard chair on a dark beach one night.
> We've pulled over on a highway, and found a dark corner in a local park.


So how did you avoid an indecent exposure ticket? I'm not sure what state you are in, but in our state, that would mean having one of our licenses revoked/suspended. I guess that's why the idea is so exciting for him. He knows there are risks involved with getting caught and that thrills him even more.


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## Undertheradar (May 11, 2011)

fishergirl02 said:


> So how did you avoid an indecent exposure ticket? I'm not sure what state you are in, but in our state, that would mean having one of our licenses revoked/suspended. I guess that's why the idea is so exciting for him. He knows there are risks involved with getting caught and that thrills him even more.


Never crossed our mind. I guess we just didn't get caught. 
We were simply enjoying a beautiful evening on the beach. We sat in the lifeguard chair. The rest is history 

On another occasion, me and the wife were in the middle of a long drive home. It was a late night, and we pulled over to rest a few minutes.
We ended up in the back of our truck.
It was great... We felt like little kids 
Don't laugh, I did this in my 40s 
I like freaky 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

When my husband would travel, sometimes I would have to pick him up at the airport at 1am or such. Sometimes I would thrill him by being dressed only in a robe. I'd be driving, so after he got in the car, I'd find a great deserted area, pull in, turn the car off, and go after him. Biggest thrill and turn-on in the world for a guy.

Last week, on our last night on vacation, I took him out to the beach, brought some towels, took my clothes off, and made love to him on the beach. He was BEYOND thrilled. And we've been married 31 years.

Could we be caught? Sure. What's the worst that could happen? Caught by a cop? Almost sounds romantic (unless you actually lose your license; not a problem here).

The point is, men your husband's age are still dealing with their 'lifetime' of fantasies; they've spent at least half their life fantasizing about ways to take a woman, and usually it involves taking a risk. That's men.

If you continue to turn down your husband because of your self-imposed fears, he will start shutting you out of his life. You are NOT the partner he expected you to be.

fwiw, I was married at 22; at 30, I was STILL embarrassed to have sex with him; STILL worried about what my mom would think, even though I'd been married 8 years. It's all just part of growing up. Eventually, you'll feel like a complete adult. So far, you don't. That's fine. 

But don't ignore the man you married.

And if you're having trouble being 'free,' get this book. It will save your marriage. Trust me. Amazon.com: 52 Invitations To Grrreat Sex: It All Begins with a Lick (9780974259918): Laura Corn: Books


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## rayne60 (May 13, 2011)

I understand ur hesitance in these 2 instances but I agree iagree with the others...compromise. Baby steps...u might want to start in a place u may feel safer like ur own backyard or in the backseat of ur car in the middle of the night, in a very remote place where u can see if someone is coming up on u. Just give it a try!


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## fishergirl02 (Jun 2, 2011)

> fwiw, I was married at 22; at 30, I was STILL embarrassed to have sex with him; STILL worried about what my mom would think, even though I'd been married 8 years. It's all just part of growing up. Eventually, you'll feel like a complete adult. So far, you don't. That's fine


Wow that is totally me. Sex was not a topic of discussion when I was growing up. My parents talked about it twice that I remember and that was it. We go on vacation once a year with them and it totally weirds me out when my husband wants to make love to me with them in the next room b/c the whole time I'm thinking "I hope they don't here us" or something. Like I'm doing something that's forbidden.


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

You are NOT doing something forbidden. The INSTANT you became his wife, your JOB was to shed your role as daughter and don the role as wife. Got it?


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## turnera (Jan 22, 2010)

Have you talked to your mom yet about your sex life? It's about time. 

Believe me, SHE has been where you are. Let her be your friend in this. It's her job. She's waiting for you.


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## ssshhh (May 23, 2011)

Don't feel bad, I was 30 when I got married and had sex with my husband at my parents condo, ON THE FLOOR because I did not want to use one of their beds. They were 1500 miles away!
We have had sex in public places and it is a thrill for both of us but I would never do it in my parents house with them there.


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