# Ok... question about oral...



## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Again pretty much spinoff of another thread... guys for the most part love it, can complete with no problem, etc... My hubs loves it, and over the last year has gotten more than in our entire 11 years of being together... however, he is on this mission to try to get me to O orally.... frankly.... i have like 3 times in the entire time we have been together, and twice alcohol was involved so I was already lit up so to speak before we started... but he will go down on me for what to me seems like forever I will get close and then he changes it up, or I am almost (i dont' know how to say it) over stimulated?? Does anyone else have this problem (females).... guys do you have this problem with your wives? Is it technique? It turns me on, don't get me wrong, but I have a huge problem with getting off, and then I feel pressured to try when it is clear he is staying there for a purpose... and what is his obsession with it? What is the best way to address this with him. I absolutely do not want to hurt his feelings with it.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

This one is highly individual among women. Check into some books. It can be so intense and overwhelming it is nearly painful for some women. Takes practice and communication.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

I also have the same problem, faithful are there any specific books that I can read about this? It's driving me crazy too because I want it to happen so badly! unlike OP I have never had an O from this! It is one of the biggest turn on's for me and I absolutely love it. So frustrating!


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Yea yea... book recommendations?? Articles??? My husband has done research of techniques and I feel horrible having to always move his head and tell him to stop, or say I want you now to get him to stop.... because it's maddening!!! And I know he wants me to... he wouldn't keep trying.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

yeah, that *%|£\ change up right when... ARGH! 

"That!" "Yes, just like..."

I can't articulate well during those moments. I hit the mattress after he has done the illegal change up and he tries to go back to what he was doing. Sometimes I think he does things just to laugh as I smack the mattress. Maybe I should start smacking his head?


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

livelaughlovenow said:


> Yea yea... book recommendations?? Articles??? My husband has done research of techniques and I feel horrible having to always move his head and tell him to stop, or say I want you now to get him to stop.... because it's maddening!!! And I know he wants me to... he wouldn't keep trying.


Maybe you two should have a session in which he simply ill exits responses from you, over and over and over, the goal not being to climax, but to see what makes you respond the best.


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

Communication is key, but if you are like me, when you are highly aroused and near an O, words don't work so well. Maybe a signal system like tapping on one side of his head to let him know "yes, keep doing just that thing."

"She comes first" is a book that has some great info to help your partner with techniques for oral. 

There are times that my body isn't cooperating as well and a small vibrator like this one Harmony Slim G Vibrator 7-inch - Black - DJ0915-03 - A Place For Passion can be just the key to put me over the edge. My husband enjoys going down but when it takes longer it can be tiring for him. 

As far as over sensitive, when I get that way, it is sometimes beneficial for him to put pressure with a flat tongue, without moving it. I can grind against the pressure if that feels good and it gives him a bit of a break. It feels really good too.


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## Faithful Wife (Oct 31, 2012)

There are literally dozens of books, too many to choose from...but basically, just pick any of them and try it first. Note: get KINDLE or the free app for PC so you can read as many as you need to without lugging around 45 books about "getting my O from oral".

In my experience, reading books just kept me thinking about it...it kept me engaged in trying. I can't recall any specific thing in any book that ever helped me...it was just years of understanding but mostly practice! I was always able to O from oral, but I just had to struggle with some overly sensitive feelings that bordered on pain...which many times made it difficult to reach O...it was something I literally had to just learn how to handle. The "handling" of it is something I had to incorporate mentally, slowly over time.

The only parallel might be, if you remember as a child what it was like to drink soda pop...how it could tingle your nose so badly it was PAINFUL...yet usually you would continue to gulp it down regardless because it is so delicious to kids. So over time, your little kid body learns how to sort of "brace against" the carbonation effect that can blast up your nasal passages before you even take a drink. And eventually, it really doesn't happen any more unless you are somehow taken by surprise (like taking a gulp of pop you thought was water).

Communication though, is always the highest of priorities. Like, even talking about how the experience feels for you to your H, when done in a sharing/learning each other way, can do wonders for them. If we lay there and just receive and then don't do a little run down later (at least once in awhile) to report what is going on in us as we receive, then they really have no clue "where" we are at during oral.


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

How to give her absolute pleasure....by Lou Paget is another book with some good info.

She come first....by Ian Kerner may be better though.


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## romantic_guy (Nov 8, 2011)

Faithful Wife said:


> This one is highly individual among women. Check into some books. It can be so intense and overwhelming it is nearly painful for some women. Takes practice and communication.


Yes...practice and communication. My wife is great about telling me what she needs...lighters, higher, lower, harder, etc. Books are a great suggestion also. 

I usually start lightly around her clit, never directly on it until she gets into it. She starts to move her body and I know it is time to use more direct pressure. Shen she is really moving and moaning, I put two fingers in hire and massage her g-spot.

Wow! Have I ever missed that. She had complications from. Hysterectomy and we just had sex for the first time in 12 weeks. Her orgasm caused her pain so I think it will be a while before I get to please her with oral.


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## SomedayDig (Jul 17, 2012)

Yep...guide him. It's okay to do. Regret did that when we first met and she has multiple O's when I take care of her orally. Like one after the other kind of O's. She likes when I find the "button" and suck while swirling my tongue in circles.

Damn...I can't wait to get home Saturday!!!!


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

Faithful Wife said:


> There are literally dozens of books, too many to choose from...but basically, just pick any of them and try it first. Note: get KINDLE or the free app for PC so you can read as many as you need to without lugging around 45 books about "getting my O from oral".
> 
> .


:lol: funny 
Yes I know the pain thing too... but that for me only happens afterwards, because hubs doesn't know when to stop... the last time he did something where he learned (through reading) how to get a woman there, and tell when it is just simple touch at that point... it worked once, he has been trying ever since to get me to do it again... it's so weird to me, like what worked one time, or feels really good, quickly almost numbs me... I wish I was like him with oral.... goodness.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

lovemylife said:


> How to give her absolute pleasure....by Lou Paget is another book with some good info.
> 
> She come first....by Ian Kerner may be better though.


Ok, I just ordered "she comes first". Wish me luck! Been waiting my whole life to have an oral O! I'm on a ****ing mission.......


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

Something else I have noticed, certain positions seems to make it easier for me than others. Half sitting on the couch while watching TV my husband decided to play and man that was a good one. Having a pillow under my hips while on my back is better than flat on my back.


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## eyuop (Apr 7, 2013)

This thread is fascinating to me -- hearing these things from the perspective of women is very educational. 

My 2 cents from what I have gathered from my wife. She says she doesn't enjoy Os from oral as much as PIV. She says she likes the feeling of the pressure of my body on hers and the pressure of me inside her. When I have brought her to O orally she starts literally wiggling all around (and thrusting) while pressing her hands down hard against her upper V. She practically tries to drag me on top of her at this point. I've tried to give her multiples, but she doesn't really like them (go figure -- I can't even imagine!) because she tells me they just aren't as satisfying as the first one. Even when she masturbates she says she doesn't do multiples (for the same reason).

I wonder if there is something to this (feeling the physical pressure thing) or if it this is just something original with my wife? The odd thing is, she says that the oral Os are a bit more intense (maybe because the V has more room to contract without being filled) but they feel "empty" to her and don't last as long. Also, she says she doesn't feel as close to me that way. Maybe psychologically she is just way more into having me O in her while (or just after) she is O-ing?

Hmmm...


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## Holland (Aug 20, 2012)

Oral is one of my favourite things, damn that man but be is gold medal standard. A few things that may help: remember to breath, sounds basic but it is like when you exercise your body functions better when you breath properly. If I can feel the potential O slipping away I check my breathing and most times I am holding my breath without thinking about it. Relax, don't hold your breath but take deep regular breaths.

I know he loves doing it, that helps me relax.
Know that you deserve the pleasure, something many people struggle with. 
Watch him do it if possible, for me that visual increases the excitement.

Mostly it is Mr H that controls the event, I am usually in my own world. He knows my body and my cues, he changes his technique accordingly. In fact he knows more about what my responses mean than I do.

One position that I find mind blowing is from behind. Me lying on my front, he kisses or massages my body then works his way to the zone, my arse in the air lol. I am wrecked after the O this way. 

HTH
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dollystanford (Mar 14, 2012)

position might be an issue - sit on his face (facing his feet)
he wants you to come in his mouth - big ego boost for him to drive his woman to the point of abandon, no?

Holland is right though, watching is hot
Yeah


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

Kama Sutra video's, explicit version.

Lesbian porn of the softer kind.

Let him learn how to do it from the experts, you choose the kind you would like.


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## Red2 (Apr 28, 2013)

SomedayDig said:


> Yep...guide him. It's okay to do. Regret did that when we first met and she has multiple O's when I take care of her orally. Like one after the other kind of O's. She likes when I find the "button" and suck while swirling my tongue in circles.
> 
> Damn...I can't wait to get home Saturday!!!!


Yes, yes, yes!!!!!! Finding the 'button' to suck and swirling with the tongue is the best way to go, at least for me


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## lovemylife (Feb 13, 2012)

Some women like the feeling of fullness to help bring them along as well. A dildo or glass wand inserted during oral can give her that full feeling and something for the V to contract around during an O. It can take the experience to a different level of enjoyment.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

Subscribed


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

lovemylife said:


> Some women like the feeling of fullness to help bring them along as well. A dildo or glass wand inserted during oral can give her that full feeling and something for the V to contract around during an O. It can take the experience to a different level of enjoyment.


:iagree:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Woodchuck (Nov 1, 2012)

The way to learn to give oral, is to concentrate on what works....

There is a much bigger learning curve to giving oral to a woman than to a man....Let me clarify... I suppose there are lots of finesse techniques to giving oral to a man, but believe me, it is ALL good.

With women, not always so...

And PLEASE girls don't be shy about telling him what is WORKING.....

There are so many variations to giving a woman oral that the curve is much wider....The intensity of stimulation, easy, vs really wild...Does she like tongue on clit, on the labia, in the vagina, rimming, finger/fingers in vagina, finger in anus, finger in vagina and anus, toys, toys with vibration, insertion of toys...... Whew.....

To work out what works for "HER" can be a rather long (but fun) process......

The man who really wants to please his partner, and has no hang ups about giving oral is probably a rather rare animal, but I believe my sex life has improved from my willingness to learn...

good luck
the woodchuck


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## LVF (May 5, 2013)

livelaughlovenow said:


> Again pretty much spinoff of another thread... guys for the most part love it, can complete with no problem, etc... My hubs loves it, and over the last year has gotten more than in our entire 11 years of being together... however, he is on this mission to try to get me to O orally.... frankly.... i have like 3 times in the entire time we have been together, and twice alcohol was involved so I was already lit up so to speak before we started... but he will go down on me for what to me seems like forever I will get close and then he changes it up, or I am almost (i dont' know how to say it) over stimulated?? Does anyone else have this problem (females).... guys do you have this problem with your wives? Is it technique? It turns me on, don't get me wrong, but I have a huge problem with getting off, and then I feel pressured to try when it is clear he is staying there for a purpose... and what is his obsession with it? What is the best way to address this with him. I absolutely do not want to hurt his feelings with it.


Sometimes I find it's unpleasant when the man's tongue is very tense, it will over stimulate (at least in my case). Around the clit it only feels good to me if it's light and with a soft/relaxed tongue that covers a wider area. Also, the movement down-up doesn't help. 
I also read somewhere that instead, of having him right between your legs, if he sits on your side (he's tongue will move up and down but it will be touching your clit from side to side, which is more pleasant) it's easier to come. But I never tried this last one, only read it a few days ago.


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

I think it comes down to communication. When I am on the right trigger spot for her pleasure,she tells me...."don't stop and don't change a thing...I am so close"

I know to keep doing exactly what she wants with my tongue and not to change anything. It also helps if she remembers to breath and not to hold her breath. These two things have really helped my Princess to have great, bed shaking orgasms!

Communication. Communication. Communication...and plenty of practice. Over the years, I have learned that the right side of her clitoris is more sensitive than the other side. I continuously stay on that side once she is on her way to an orgasm. Also, if she does get over stimulated and isn't going over the edge, she just tells me and we switch to doing something else pleasurable. No problem. Communication is the key to pleasing my wife orally.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I agree communication is the key. I communicate to my wife I'd like to try oral sex on her and she communicates to me that she would rather have acid poured in her eyes.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> I agree communication is the key. I communicate to my wife I'd like to try oral sex on her and she communicates to me that she would rather have acid poured in her eyes.


OMG, I am sure this is not funny to you but I almost pissed my pants reading this...


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## KimatraAKM (May 1, 2013)

I'd agree. It's totally subjective from woman to woman. I always got too self conscious when he was doing it. I love going down on him but truthfully I'd rather he not go down on me. 

It wasn't that it didn't feel good, because it felt great... I just could never get outta my head enough to truly enjoy it.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LoriC said:


> OMG, I am sure this is not funny to you but I almost pissed my pants reading this...


I've come to grips with my situation. I meant it to be funny


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

I agree it's different for every woman. For instance, when I'm close, I'll hold my breath, and let it build up, breath out, hold again etc.

I bought a book once called "Orgasms" or something along those lines, excellent book, it talks about the breathing aspect etc.

Number one thing is to clear your head. Once you start having them, you know what to look for.


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

Woodchuck said:


> The way to learn to give oral, is to concentrate on what works....
> 
> There is a much bigger learning curve to giving oral to a woman than to a man....Let me clarify... I suppose there are lots of finesse techniques to giving oral to a man, but believe me, it is ALL good.
> 
> ...


There is nothing worse than receiving bad oral sex. It's boring, uncomfortable, and sometimes painful. 

I let my SO know what was working. Otherwise, what's the point?


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

livelaughlovenow said:


> Again pretty much spinoff of another thread... guys for the most part love it, can complete with no problem, etc... My hubs loves it, and over the last year has gotten more than in our entire 11 years of being together... however, he is on this mission to try to get me to O orally.... frankly.... i have like 3 times in the entire time we have been together, and twice alcohol was involved so I was already lit up so to speak before we started... but he will go down on me for what to me seems like forever I will get close and then he changes it up, or I am almost (i dont' know how to say it) over stimulated?? Does anyone else have this problem (females).... guys do you have this problem with your wives? Is it technique? It turns me on, don't get me wrong, but I have a huge problem with getting off, and then I feel pressured to try when it is clear he is staying there for a purpose... and what is his obsession with it? What is the best way to address this with him. I absolutely do not want to hurt his feelings with it.




I too love it when my wifee gives me oral to orgasm and she swallows.

My wife also has a hard time having an orgasm. She has to be really in the mood, not stressed out, not getting up for work tomorrow and things pretty much have to be ideal. Then it takes me about 15 minutes giving her oral for her to orgasm. Now she doesn't orgasm all the time, only most of the time. I know if she let me give her oral more often, she would get used to it more, get more comfortable with it, be more in tune with her body and thus have many more orgasms and easier too.

I can orgasm from my wife every time, I only think its fair that she should be able to do the same. So that's the reason a guy likes going down on his woman trying to get her to orgasm. I also like my face and tongue right in her, as it drives me wild and she uses her foot to give me a foot job at the same time.

Try this. Have him use a small vibrator while he gives you oral at the same time. See if that's helps you.


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## livelaughlovenow (Apr 23, 2012)

CuddleBug said:


> I too love it when my wifee gives me oral to orgasm and she swallows.
> 
> My wife also has a hard time having an orgasm. She has to be really in the mood, not stressed out, not getting up for work tomorrow and things pretty much have to be ideal. Then it takes me about 15 minutes giving her oral for her to orgasm. Now she doesn't orgasm all the time, only most of the time. I know if she let me give her oral more often, she would get used to it more, get more comfortable with it, be more in tune with her body and thus have many more orgasms and easier too.
> 
> ...


He has done the toy thing... it does work better, but he clearly like many other men on this thread wants to do it on his own, and I get it. I have no problem getting him off quickly with a bj... I think I am going to try the breathing things suggested here (maybe I am holding my breath and don't realize it) Also, I am going to communicate to him when he is doing something that is working, give him clues, etc.... I just feel so bad sometimes when he is clearly trying his damndest and it isn't working.... anyone ever seen Robin Williams HBO special where he does the impression of going down on a woman that is how I feel my husband is, constantly looking up to see if it is working or not.... that pressure alone sometimes is a turn off.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

livelaughlovenow said:


> He has done the toy thing... it does work better, but he clearly like many other men on this thread wants to do it on his own, and I get it. I have no problem getting him off quickly with a bj... I think I am going to try the breathing things suggested here (maybe I am holding my breath and don't realize it) Also, I am going to communicate to him when he is doing something that is working, give him clues, etc.... I just feel so bad sometimes when he is clearly trying his damndest and it isn't working.... anyone ever seen Robin Williams HBO special where he does the impression of going down on a woman that is how I feel my husband is, constantly looking up to see if it is working or not.... that pressure alone sometimes is a turn off.



Us men just want to please our women. 

I guess since we cum quickly, we expect the same from women? But we don't realize that men and women orgasm differently. Men are quick, BAM. Women its different. They need to be relaxed, no pressure, have to genuinely be in the mood and just let it happen, right? Men, BAM. The more we try, its forced and it doesn't happen? Makes sense.

Will check out the Robin Williams special, thx.


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## housewife81 (Jun 4, 2013)

You could also be pressuring yourself too much. If the alcohol helps just drink a little bit first. That helps me if I'm having some of those types of issues. I think for women, having an orgasm can be more mental than physical. Good luck.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

LoriC said:


> Ok, I just ordered "she comes first". Wish me luck! Been waiting my whole life to have an oral O! I'm on a ****ing mission.......


Ok, so I got the book and handed it to him. The look on his face was not a favorable one. He did start to read it. Hasnt picked it up in days. I took it and I am reading it. I confronted him this morning and asked him straight out what is his problem? He has been avoiding going down. 

He feels like he is under a lot of pressure. I think he liked it better when I kept my mouth shut. I tried to explain to him that I am not testing him, not giving him some sort of deadline he has to meet for me to have an O. I have never had an Oral O and I just want one. Is that so terrible? Now I feel like an idiot, like a made a big deal about this. 

I guess he feels like I stepped on his balls, like its his fault and his technique is bad or something. What should I do, leave it alone and see what happens? I think one of the biggest issues is he doesnt spend enough time there as he starts to complain his jaw hurts. Im not going to tell him to suck it up and stay there. So frustrated right now!


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

LoriC said:


> Ok, so I got the book and handed it to him. The look on his face was not a favorable one. He did start to read it. Hasnt picked it up in days. I took it and I am reading it. I confronted him this morning and asked him straight out what is his problem? He has been avoiding going down.
> 
> He feels like he is under a lot of pressure. I think he liked it better when I kept my mouth shut. I tried to explain to him that I am not testing him, not giving him some sort of deadline he has to meet for me to have an O. I have never had an Oral O and I just want one. Is that so terrible? Now I feel like an idiot, like a made a big deal about this.
> 
> I guess he feels like I stepped on his balls, like its his fault and his technique is bad or something. What should I do, leave it alone and see what happens? I think one of the biggest issues is he doesnt spend enough time there as he starts to complain his jaw hurts. Im not going to tell him to suck it up and stay there. So frustrated right now!


I have that book and it is a good book! I would be giving my Princess oral daily if she wanted/needed it....it is heaven on earth in my mind

Keep after him and give him positive feedback and suggestions...


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

I Notice The Details said:


> I have that book and it is a good book! I would be giving my Princess oral daily if she wanted/needed it....it is heaven on earth in my mind
> 
> Keep after him and give him positive feedback and suggestions...


He never complained about it, in fact he told me he likes to do it. I told him I couldnt force him to read the book and the reason I got it is because it could help him. Im not going to speak about it again, not going to bring up anything and just see how this plays out.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

I wonder too how much of it is flat out technique and how much of it is something different. With my SO, the very first time I went down on her, she came within minutes and was very surprised because she said she always had a very difficult time with oral. Since then, she has not failed to O from oral, even in 69 which she said she had never been able to O.

I know I have decent skills from feedback from past partners, but there seems to be something more than just technique with my SO...


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## working_together (Oct 16, 2011)

LoriC said:


> Ok, so I got the book and handed it to him. The look on his face was not a favorable one. He did start to read it. Hasnt picked it up in days. I took it and I am reading it. I confronted him this morning and asked him straight out what is his problem? He has been avoiding going down.
> 
> He feels like he is under a lot of pressure. I think he liked it better when I kept my mouth shut. I tried to explain to him that I am not testing him, not giving him some sort of deadline he has to meet for me to have an O. I have never had an Oral O and I just want one. Is that so terrible? Now I feel like an idiot, like a made a big deal about this.
> 
> I guess he feels like I stepped on his balls, like its his fault and his technique is bad or something. What should I do, leave it alone and see what happens? I think one of the biggest issues is he doesnt spend enough time there as he starts to complain his jaw hurts. Im not going to tell him to suck it up and stay there. So frustrated right now!


I'm not sure it you mentioned it, but have you been able to give yourself an orgasm by masterbating??


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

working_together said:


> I'm not sure it you mentioned it, but have you been able to give yourself an orgasm by masterbating??


Absolutely. Within minutes. I know I can, Im just waiting for it to happen. I happen to think he doesnt spend enough time down there.


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## See_Listen_Love (Jun 28, 2012)

LoriC said:


> Ok, so I got the book and handed it to him. The look on his face was not a favorable one. He did start to read it. Hasnt picked it up in days. I took it and I am reading it. I confronted him this morning and asked him straight out what is his problem? He has been avoiding going down.
> 
> He feels like he is under a lot of pressure. I think he liked it better when I kept my mouth shut. I tried to explain to him that I am not testing him, not giving him some sort of deadline he has to meet for me to have an O. I have never had an Oral O and I just want one. Is that so terrible? Now I feel like an idiot, like a made a big deal about this.
> 
> I guess he feels like I stepped on his balls, like its his fault and his technique is bad or something. What should I do, leave it alone and see what happens? I think one of the biggest issues is he doesnt spend enough time there as he starts to complain his jaw hurts. Im not going to tell him to suck it up and stay there. So frustrated right now!


Whether he likes it or not, or whether you like it or not: he has to work on his technique


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

LoriC said:


> He never complained about it, in fact he told me he likes to do it. I told him I couldnt force him to read the book and the reason I got it is because it could help him. Im not going to speak about it again, not going to bring up anything and just see how this plays out.


Well, if you lay like this lady in the picture and smile, your man SHOULD know exactly what you need without you saying a word....my wife drives me crazy when she does this!


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## CEL (May 7, 2013)

LoriC said:


> Ok, so I got the book and handed it to him. The look on his face was not a favorable one. He did start to read it. Hasnt picked it up in days. I took it and I am reading it. I confronted him this morning and asked him straight out what is his problem? He has been avoiding going down.
> 
> He feels like he is under a lot of pressure. I think he liked it better when I kept my mouth shut. I tried to explain to him that I am not testing him, not giving him some sort of deadline he has to meet for me to have an O. I have never had an Oral O and I just want one. Is that so terrible? Now I feel like an idiot, like a made a big deal about this.
> 
> I guess he feels like I stepped on his balls, like its his fault and his technique is bad or something. What should I do, leave it alone and see what happens? I think one of the biggest issues is he doesnt spend enough time there as he starts to complain his jaw hurts. Im not going to tell him to suck it up and stay there. So frustrated right now!



First I really like you I find you posts to be frank funny and smart. Now the problem is if you are not getting off his technique is an issue. I told my girl that I got a book on oral and she looked at me and said "Why?" I said I wanted to be better and she said "You got no problem you are either an 8 or 10 every time without fail." I got this book The Low Down on Going Down, I want to be so good that when she THINKS about it she gets off. Never settle.


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## jerseygirl123 (Jun 1, 2013)

My husband was a very skilled lover when we met. In my previous marriage, my husband never gave me an orgasm, anyway, any position.

My current husband watched me play many times, and saw where I liked to touch. When we have oral sex (which I prefer), he basically touches the places I do. With my current husband I orgasm all the time. Try showing him what you like.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

livelaughlovenow, 
I think the important thing to do is remove the pressure and performance anxiety. It's okay for him to go down and sometimes you want him to say longer for you and sometimes you don't. If you're not going to get there then just say get up here stud.

Sex shouldn't be stressful.


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## CreekWalker (May 31, 2013)

....I think I got this kind of attention maybe 2 times last year. And I give it every time. 

I like to o with oral...but often I need a bit of time to regroup before PIV. It's a little intense. My husband is amazing at it. God I miss 69.


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## Thundarr (Jul 4, 2012)

CreekWalker said:


> ....I think I got this kind of attention maybe 2 times last year. And I give it every time.
> 
> I like to o with oral...but often I need a bit of time to regroup before PIV. It's a little intense. My husband is amazing at it. *God I miss 69*.


If my wife EVER says she's misses 69 then we have a severe communication problem because I'm ready and willing for that nightly.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

CEL said:


> First I really like you I find you posts to be frank funny and smart. Now the problem is if you are not getting off his technique is an issue. I told my girl that I got a book on oral and she looked at me and said "Why?" I said I wanted to be better and she said "You got no problem you are either an 8 or 10 every time without fail." I got this book The Low Down on Going Down, I want to be so good that when she THINKS about it she gets off. Never settle.


Thanks for the nice compliment. So I got me some oral last night. I did something bad. I know it was wrong but I will explain why I did it. I kind of faked an O. The reason I did this was to boost his confidence. I absolutely loved what he was doing, it felt amazing! I think I would have really gotten there as I felt so close to it but he was a trooper and was down there a long time. I did what I did to give him the confidence he needed and to make this something really enjoyable for him also. I really love the way oral sex feels. So I know I'm going to get a lot of crap for this but I will definitely not do that again! I have a feeling I won't have to. I think this is going to help a lot. I really was sooo close. He was just so down on himself about thinking he just wasn't doing it right and I definitely guided him more and was telling him what felt good. Hopefully next time will be the real deal. Ok, I'm ready to get beat up now, let me have it....


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## I Notice The Details (Sep 15, 2012)

LoriC said:


> Thanks for the nice compliment. So I got me some oral last night. I did something bad. I know it was wrong but I will explain why I did it. I kind of faked an O. The reason I did this was to boost his confidence. I absolutely loved what he was doing, it felt amazing! I think I would have really gotten there as I felt so close to it but he was a trooper and was down there a long time. I did what I did to give him the confidence he needed and to make this something really enjoyable for him also. I really love the way oral sex feels. So I know I'm going to get a lot of crap for this but I will definitely not do that again! I have a feeling I won't have to. I think this is going to help a lot. I really was sooo close. He was just so down on himself about thinking he just wasn't doing it right and I definitely guided him more and was telling him what felt good. Hopefully next time will be the real deal. Ok, I'm ready to get beat up now, let me have it....


My wife's secret when she is really close...just keep breathing, don't tense up...and I continue do exactly whatever kissing technique I was doing...no changes.....then...eruption time for her


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

LoriC said:


> I did something bad. I kind of faked an O. The reason I did this was to boost his confidence. I absolutely loved what he was doing, it felt amazing!


Whaaat! You were so sexually charged! What happened?!
I would think it would have been an easy O assuming you had your legs wrapped around his neck ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

NewHubs said:


> Whaaat! You were so sexually charged! What happened?!
> I would think it would have been an easy O assuming you had your legs wrapped around his neck ;-)
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have always had trouble achieving an O from oral but I wont give up trying. After the oral last night I was well worked up and had multiple O's from my favorite PIV position. So it was all good.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

And yes, my legs were totally wrapped around his neck!


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

LoriC said:


> I have always had trouble achieving an O from oral but I wont give up trying. After the oral last night I was well worked up and had multiple O's from my favorite PIV position. So it was all good.


My wife is the same way! It's kind of frustrating for me because I spend a great amount of time down there. She does eventually get off.
Glad it worked out in the end!

Your legs wrapped around neck = HOT! ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LoriC said:


> Thanks for the nice compliment. So I got me some oral last night. I did something bad. I know it was wrong but I will explain why I did it. I kind of faked an O. The reason I did this was to boost his confidence. I absolutely loved what he was doing, it felt amazing! I think I would have really gotten there as I felt so close to it but he was a trooper and was down there a long time. I did what I did to give him the confidence he needed and to make this something really enjoyable for him also. I really love the way oral sex feels. So I know I'm going to get a lot of crap for this but I will definitely not do that again! I have a feeling I won't have to. I think this is going to help a lot. I really was sooo close. He was just so down on himself about thinking he just wasn't doing it right and I definitely guided him more and was telling him what felt good. Hopefully next time will be the real deal. Ok, I'm ready to get beat up now, let me have it....


I think that ok sometimes. It will keep him coming back and eventually getting you to O. Just wish my wife would fake one during oral... Gotta go down first.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Sometimes I wish my SO wouldn't O so quickly from oral, though I guess I shouldn't complain because she's said it was always very difficult for her before me, but sometimes I wish I had more play time down there She gets very sensitive after she O's and really needs PIV. I do various things to keep her from going over the edge, but it's a fine line to keep her from getting frustrated and pissed  One thing she said the other day when we were talking about oral was that she'd rather have no oral at all than bad oral. Is that a commonly held feeling among women?


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> I think that ok sometimes. It will keep him coming back and eventually getting you to O. Just wish my wife would fake one during oral... Gotta go down first.


I am glad you understand why I did what I did. I think he will want to do this more and not feel so much pressure. I will not fake it again though. It was definitely better than it was in the past so I am confident we are getting there! 

So what are you waiting for? Go Down!


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## Red2 (Apr 28, 2013)

LoriC said:


> I have always had trouble achieving an O from oral but I wont give up trying. After the oral last night I was well worked up and had multiple O's from my favorite PIV position. So it was all good.


You are so lucky! In my entire life I have only had 1 orgasm from PIV. I have no trouble getting there with oral or manual stimulation, but I want it from PIV too!!!! (I feel like a little kid who is not getting a toy she wants...  )


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

LoriC said:


> I am glad you understand why I did what I did. I think he will want to do this more and not feel so much pressure. I will not fake it again though. It was definitely better than it was in the past so I am confident we are getting there!
> 
> So what are you waiting for? Go Down!


My wife would never let me go down.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Red2 said:


> You are so lucky! In my entire life I have only had 1 orgasm from PIV. I have no trouble getting there with oral or manual stimulation, but I want it from PIV too!!!! (I feel like a little kid who is not getting a toy she wants...  )


This is how I feel about oral!


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

MrBrains said:


> My wife would never let me go down.


I don't get that, not the first time I have heard this. So strange to me.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Red2 said:


> You are so lucky! In my entire life I have only had 1 orgasm from PIV. I have no trouble getting there with oral or manual stimulation, but I want it from PIV too!!!! (I feel like a little kid who is not getting a toy she wants...  )


Before we were sleeping together, my SO had told me she was one of those women who couldn't O from PIV because she never had before. Imagine her surprise, and my pride when we found out differently


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## Red2 (Apr 28, 2013)

samyeagar said:


> Before we were sleeping together, my SO had told me she was one of those women who couldn't O from PIV because she never had before. Imagine her surprise, and my pride when we found out differently


I am so happy for you two! And jealous at the same time  I have to do some more research about this.... Do you know if she orgasms from her g-spot being rubbed by your penis? (Sorry if this is TMI.)
Maybe I should start a thread on this, I don't mean to hijack your thread, LoriC....


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

Red2 said:


> I am so happy for you two! And jealous at the same time  I have to do some more research about this.... Do you know if she orgasms from her g-spot being rubbed by your penis? (Sorry if this is TMI.)
> Maybe I should start a thread on this, I don't mean to hijack your thread, LoriC....


I am really happy too  I'll take some of the credit for my skills because I can play her body like a stradivarius, but I think we are just ridiculously sexually compatable from the physical through the mental. Everything has just flowed so well from the very first time we did anything. First time oral on her, and she was twitching for half an hour afterwards. She O's within minutes with my fingers, even when she tries to hold off.

We have actually talked about what it is exactly that happens because I want to keep doing it the same way  Yeah, it seems like I am the perfect size and shape to nail her g-spot perfectly, and have figured it out from different positions as well. A few times, she as had non g-spot orgasms through PIV with no clitoral stimulation that she can't really describe how they happened, but they are INTENSE.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

Red2 said:


> I am so happy for you two! And jealous at the same time  I have to do some more research about this.... Do you know if she orgasms from her g-spot being rubbed by your penis? (Sorry if this is TMI.)
> Maybe I should start a thread on this, I don't mean to hijack your thread, LoriC....


Ha! No worries, love the g-spot orgasm! I'll contribute to that thread ;-)


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## Horizon (Apr 4, 2013)

Gently take each nipple between thumb and forefinger and even more gently take the clitoris between your teeth and go from there....whoooaaaa....i'll be right back....


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## salamander (Apr 2, 2013)

It's taken me a long time to truly enjoy oral, but i have a lot of baggage on that matter. First the childhood stuff, then the 5 years of life with my LD/asexual ex bf convinced me that i was disgusting. The latter is worse than the former, which I've treated and mostly healed from. It's so hard to relax when you have toxic shame.

Somehow the years have unlocked my voice and now i feel safe enough to communicate to H about his technique. It's still new to me, being fully embodied not dissociating all the time! Thanks for the book suggestions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

I've been with my wife for 25 years and two years ago I finally figured out how to get her to O from oral every time. Believe it or not in large part, I learned the techniques from......watching lesbian porn.

I'm not advocating porn, but I'm just saying that sometimes even an old dog can learn new tricks.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

badmemory said:


> I've been with my wife for 25 years and two years ago I finally figured out how to get her to O from oral every time. Believe it or not in large part, I learned the techniques from......watching lesbian porn.
> 
> I'm not advocating porn, but I'm just saying that sometimes even an old dog can learn new tricks.


Good that it worked for you, but one should always be careful learning techniques from porn. Porn is about the show and not necessarily about the techniques and pleasure.


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## LoriC (Feb 18, 2013)

badmemory said:


> I've been with my wife for 25 years and two years ago I finally figured out how to get her to O from oral every time. Believe it or not in large part, I learned the techniques from......watching lesbian porn.
> 
> I'm not advocating porn, but I'm just saying that sometimes even an old dog can learn new tricks.


This right here is confusing to me. From what I understand what you see in porn is only a show. It is my understanding that in porn you would never be able to see what would bring a woman to O as the giver's face is too close to get a camera in there. 

But what the he!! do I know, I have never given oral to a woman.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

samyeagar said:


> Good that it worked for you, but one should always be careful learning techniques from porn. Porn is about the show and not necessarily about the techniques and pleasure.


Yes, I understand that; but I saw things I would have never thought of myself.

Guys, I don't think your wives will buy that excuse if they catch you watching porn, but feel free to use it in a pinch.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

badmemory said:


> Yes, *I understand that; but I saw things I would have never thought of myself.*
> 
> Guys, I don't think your wives will buy that excuse if they catch you watching porn, but feel free to use it in a pinch.


Hey, what ever works and gets the job done


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## eyuop (Apr 7, 2013)

A side note: It is very true that porn is rarely about techniques (and more about show). However, I've leaned (and tried) a lot of great techniques from porn. There is even instructional porn (a category), with some on oral techniques.

What I'm seeing in this thread is that satisfaction mostly depends on the "B-spot" (the brain). Technique is important, but the best technique isn't going to "do it" if she isn't into even the idea of it or finds it somehow not stimulating mentally. I'm convinced that most of the biggest problems in sex are not technique-related, but rather what is going on in the brain. I know this is true because I've had orgasms from dreams -- with no physical stimulation at all. So obviously technique wasn't a part of it.

I've heard many times in TAM threads that a cheating partner can suddenly O every time and has the most amazing sex ever. I wonder if this is technique or simply the excitement and ability to abandon all of the hangups and just enjoy the situation.


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## Unaware (Jan 7, 2013)

LoriC said:


> I also have the same problem, faithful are there any specific books that I can read about this? It's driving me crazy too because I want it to happen so badly! unlike OP I have never had an O from this! It is one of the biggest turn on's for me and I absolutely love it. So frustrating!


I could have written this


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## Unaware (Jan 7, 2013)

badmemory said:


> I've been with my wife for 25 years and two years ago I finally figured out how to get her to O from oral every time. Believe it or not in large part, I learned the techniques from......watching lesbian porn.
> 
> I'm not advocating porn, but I'm just saying that sometimes even an old dog can learn new tricks.


I have found a thing or 2 in amateur porn, its less about the show and the theatrics more about the sex


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

My H and I only recently after 8 years of marriage start to have oral sex, and I started with a BJ on him. Long story why, and it's been told through various threads on here.

I don't mind giving him a BJ as foreplay or to completion (and he doesn't either). As far as receiving it, an O from oral is great, love it, but I just still rather finish PIV. But because we can usually finish together with PIV, it is just so much more emotional and physically satisfying that I rather have it that way. Problem is him giving me oral as foreplay doesn't work -- the O is going to happen before we go to PIV and I can't stop it. 

I can have another O if we move to PIV, but we can't seem to time a second O to finish together, which seem like it would be easier but it's not. 

Guess we will just keep experimenting with it.


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## Unaware (Jan 7, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Problem is him giving me oral as foreplay doesn't work -- the O is going to happen before we go to PIV and I can't stop it.
> 
> I can have another O if we move to PIV, but we can't seem to time a second O to finish together, which seem like it would be easier but it's not.
> 
> Guess we will just keep experimenting with it.


I wish I had this problem. 

Enjoy your experimenting!


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Unaware said:


> I wish I had this problem.
> 
> Enjoy your experimenting!


Thanks but uumm ... I AM sleepy so maybe there is loss of reading comprehension, but are you saying you wish you had the problem of not being able to finish together? Which means finish together is *not* a problem for you? Well, then that's GREAT! Why would you want the problem of not being able to finish together?


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## Unaware (Jan 7, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Thanks but uumm ... I AM sleepy so maybe there is loss of reading comprehension, but are you saying you wish you had the problem of not being able to finish together? Which means finish together is *not* a problem for you? Well, then that's GREAT! Why would you want the problem of not being able to finish together?


I have never cum from Oral 
I would like to 
I squirt, But it is not with an orgasm


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## Unaware (Jan 7, 2013)

Unaware said:


> I have never cum from Oral
> I would like to
> I squirt, But it is not with an orgasm


Ok I have never had a manual orgasm, only battery operated ones


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## committed4ever (Nov 13, 2012)

Oh sorry I read your post #76 and mistake the part you quoted was your actual text so I thought you were a man. So sorry!


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## committed_guy (Nov 22, 2011)

livelaughlovenow said:


> Does anyone else have this problem (females).... guys do you have this problem with your wives? Is it technique?


Yes, I have only been able to bring my wife to O via oral a few of times in our 14 years together. I wish I could do it easier and faster for her (like the way a guy responds to bj's). I notice that my wife tends to enjoy oral more when there is more foreplay. If I'm massaging her whole body or take my time getting all the way down there she seems to respond better. I also take my time getting to the main attraction (her clit) and tend to the other bits down there before. Also using a finger inside while doing oral after she is turned on seems to help a lot too. (sorry if TMI but you did ask about technique)



livelaughlovenow said:


> It turns me on, don't get me wrong, but I have a huge problem with getting off, and then I feel pressured to try when it is clear he is staying there for a purpose... and what is his obsession with it? What is the best way to address this with him. I absolutely do not want to hurt his feelings with it.


I think it's a guy thing. It's not a job (like a bj is to a girl--seriously, guys are easy compared to girls) it's a conquer thing. I want to supremely satisfy my wife and make her go bonkers. I am THE MAN during those times. I want to be able to say that I can bring her pleasure like no one else can. Also, it's such an intimate thing, the taste, smells textures, we don't get in normal intercourse. All those different queues helps a guy associate love more with his wife and makes us feel more connected (or me at least).

Just try to enjoy it. Maybe your not wired to enjoy that as the main event. Just enjoy the intimate time with your husband. When it's time to move on to something different then suggest that and move on. Reaffirm him that the intimate time you spend together is what is important, not just having an O. Maybe he needs to change his expectation of your response and just enjoy what pleasure you do get from it?


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## Unaware (Jan 7, 2013)

committed4ever said:


> Oh sorry I read your post #76 and mistake the part you quoted was your actual text so I thought you were a man. So sorry!


 nope all woman here, Bi, but very female


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## notmarriedyet (Nov 10, 2012)

Unaware said:


> Ok I have never had a manual orgasm, only battery operated ones


I think it is super important for a woman to know how to touch herself with her own hands to make herself climax.. Just my opinion...


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## Unaware (Jan 7, 2013)

notmarriedyet said:


> I think it is super important for a woman to know how to touch herself with her own hands to make herself climax.. Just my opinion...


I tried for years, I thought I just couldn't orgasm (I used to fake it, even with a vibe) then I started getting there with a new toy. 
I am honest with my partners at the very beginning of a relationship. Some guys have viewed me as a challenge, Others are not interested as they think if they can not make me O they will feel like less of a man.


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## StillSearching (Feb 8, 2013)

I wish my wife would quit faking it then swearing she came. I guess it's better then just laying there like fish. Just confuses me.


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## catfan (Jan 12, 2013)

*Re: Re: Ok... question about oral...*



KimatraAKM said:


> I'd agree. It's totally subjective from woman to woman. I always got too self conscious when he was doing it. I love going down on him but truthfully I'd rather he not go down on me.
> 
> It wasn't that it didn't feel good, because it felt great... I just could never get outta my head enough to truly enjoy it.


Feel exactly the same...it feels nice, but I want it to stop asap to not feel this self conscious.


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## catfan (Jan 12, 2013)

*Re: Re: Ok... question about oral...*



committed_guy said:


> Yes, I have only been able to bring my wife to O via oral a few of times in our 14 years together. I wish I could do it easier and faster for her (like the way a guy responds to bj's). I notice that my wife tends to enjoy oral more when there is more foreplay. If I'm massaging her whole body or take my time getting all the way down there she seems to respond better. I also take my time getting to the main attraction (her clit) and tend to the other bits down there before. Also using a finger inside while doing oral after she is turned on seems to help a lot too. (sorry if TMI but you did ask about technique)
> 
> 
> I think it's a guy thing. It's not a job (like a bj is to a girl--seriously, guys are easy compared to girls) it's a conquer thing. I want to supremely satisfy my wife and make her go bonkers. I am THE MAN during those times. I want to be able to say that I can bring her pleasure like no one else can. Also, it's such an intimate thing, the taste, smells textures, we don't get in normal intercourse. All those different queues helps a guy associate love more with his wife and makes us feel more connected (or me at least).
> ...


... My bf can't come from a BJ, I wish.... I did try hard enough though.


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