# Two big dates....



## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

The first date, September 4th will be *7* months since moving out. The second big date is September 6th - our *14* year anniversary!

I find myself feeling unsure, insecure and uneasy....

How do I get through this?

He hasn't contacted me since I had him served, which I really don't find surprising since he hasn't fought for us but how do I handle this?

I feel like crying and I'm so tired of crying!


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## Sod (Aug 20, 2011)

Be strong. Go out and have some fun with friends on focus on something else. Both dates will be sad (for both of you) but you can only worry about yourself. Kick back, have some fun and dont focus on it. I know its easier said than done but will be thinking of you


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

I will have my son with me....
He brings such happiness to my life - but I feel like I've been so down in the dumps, I'm not being the best I can be for him....
And now, this anniversary (although it won't be spent with me trying to talk about making our relationship better) I will be without the man who's been in my life for 20 years.

He's so closed off - I wonder what he's feeling!


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

Hi JAG:
Sod's suggestion is a good one. All you can do is your best! If you are with your son make it a mother-son thing (dinner, movie, ?)----if not, "girls night out". Keep moving forward. Good luck.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Thanks....
I am going to try to put it out of my mind....
It's worse at night, when he's laying beside me and I feel so guilty for making the stand and changing his life.....

I feel so guilty....

I have an appt w/my therapist on the 9th....I really need to see her!


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

see if you can move the appt. up..?...


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## hesnothappy (Mar 5, 2011)

Your anniversary date will probably be anticlimatic, mine was. I was so apprehensive about the date and how I would feel...hen nothing, came and went as any other day. But of course I don't have as many years of celebration in my marriage. Just plan some activities to keep yourself super busy that day. Surprising your husband is probably feeling nuthin, men have a wonderful gift for this trick. It certainly won't be anything that you would expect him to feel. Just know that you are not alone.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

@why not....Maybe she can see me before then. It's just tough b/c of work, that's why we do it on a Saturday.

@hesnothappy....I hope you're right! For the past three years, we haven't had a good anniversary. I think it's b/c when we would go do something together, it didn't feel like the rest of the year. I found myself thinking back to the day we were married or a few years after that and I felt what we had become just wasn't what we should be. It's just so tiring trying to talk to someone who doesn't want to see that there are problems. 

I guess I really shouldn't worry about what he's feeling....that's what I've spent my entire marriage worrying about and look where it got me!


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

I forgot, how old is your son? My kids are 8,9,and 11. I took them to see the Smurfs this past weekend. All 4 of us thought it was awesome. My 9 year old and I both cried at a few parts. I'm sure that is the first time I ever cried at an animated film. lol I would suggest that if it is your son's age range.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

HurtinginTN said:


> I forgot, how old is your son? My kids are 8,9,and 11. I took them to see the Smurfs this past weekend. All 4 of us thought it was awesome. My 9 year old and I both cried at a few parts. I'm sure that is the first time I ever cried at an animated film. lol I would suggest that if it is your son's age range.


He's 10 and thanks for the suggestion! That's a great idea!

I know what you mean about crying at an animated film....lol
I'm very tender hearted and have to keep telling myself "it's JUST a movie...it's JUST a movie!"

I took him to see Transformers and I swear, if they EVER kill off Bumblebee - I will need to visit my therapist! LOL *that was a joke*


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## HurtinginTN (Feb 22, 2011)

JustAGirl said:


> I took him to see Transformers and I swear, if they EVER kill off Bumblebee - I will need to visit my therapist! LOL *that was a joke*



Is that still in the theaters? My girls are going out of town with a friend this weekend. It will be alone time with my son. Maybe I'll take him to see that if it's still out.


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

HurtinginTN said:


> Is that still in the theaters? My girls are going out of town with a friend this weekend. It will be alone time with my son. Maybe I'll take him to see that if it's still out.


I'm not sure about where you are...
or where I am for that matter lol

If it's still out, go see it in 3D! We like most everything in 3D lol


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Well....I have to work, so that's a good thing. 
And I'll have to pick up my son from afterschool and do homework, so maybe I won't even think about it (LOL)

If I were still w/him, I'd come home to a card and some flowers probably - I would have rather have a hug and a kiss but it's not about what I wanted anyway .....

*sigh* oh well


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

Well....I don't have to worry about my MIL sending a card! She didn't even wish me a "Happy Birthday" when I saw her - I've only been in her life 20 years, but whatever! Hers is a couple weeks after mine and I wished her a "Happy Birthday"! HUMPH!


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## Why Not Be Happy? (Apr 16, 2010)

just keep taking the "high road".


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## JustAGirl (Oct 1, 2010)

I think I made the comment on another thread one time but if my H and his family are going to show my son examples of how to be an @hole, it's up to me to teach him how NOT to be an @hole!


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

JustAGirl said:


> I think I made the comment on another thread one time but if my H and his family are going to show my son examples of how to be an @hole, it's up to me to teach him how NOT to be an @hole!


:iagree:


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