# Separated from Wife with RO



## spinelli009 (Dec 27, 2010)

Hello i have been married for 4 years and together for over 7 years. I have a 6 year old son who wants me home with the family. My wife put a RO on me but the judge placed a 2 month RO on me. When the restraining order is off can i go into my house since i am on the lease. I want to fix my marriage with my wife but it makes it hard to talk to her because of the RO. I want her to know i do still love her and i want to make things right. I think she is talking to other people about this because i dont think she would do this on her own. I have read a lot of people on here getting back together. The RO is only 25 yards away and i can see my son since there is no RO on him. I go to his school 3 days a week and spend lunch with him. My wife does call my phone but its only for my son and she never talks to me. I need to try to reconcile with her because she is an illegal immigrant and i dont want her to live the way she is right now. Any help in this matter would be very helpful. Thank you in advance


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

The RO is probably to keep you out of the picture so she can continue on with the other man more easily and gain possession of the house.

If she calls you, I believe you shouldn't answer it. All she has to do is say that you were verbally aggressive on the phone and you would be in violation of the RO.

Seek legal advice.


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## greeneyeddolphin (May 31, 2010)

Hmm...I must have missed something. I didn't see any mention of another man. 

What I also didn't see is an explanation of WHY your wife got a RO on you. It's kind of hard to know what to tell you without knowing why she got a RO. My advice would be very different if she got it because you beat the crap out of her or if she got it because she locked you out one night and you broke a window to get in the house. 

My best advice is to be very careful in following the RO, continue to see your son without violating the RO, and see what happens. If you give a few more details, I (and others) might be able to give you some better, more specific advice.


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## spinelli009 (Dec 27, 2010)

atruckersgirl said:


> Hmm...I must have missed something. I didn't see any mention of another man.
> 
> What I also didn't see is an explanation of WHY your wife got a RO on you. It's kind of hard to know what to tell you without knowing why she got a RO. My advice would be very different if she got it because you beat the crap out of her or if she got it because she locked you out one night and you broke a window to get in the house.
> 
> My best advice is to be very careful in following the RO, continue to see your son without violating the RO, and see what happens. If you give a few more details, I (and others) might be able to give you some better, more specific advice.


My wife got the restraining order to get me out if the house. She told the judge I beat her and my son which didn't fly so now she is grasping at straws with child support. If the restraining order does come off can I still go in my house since the RO is only for 2 months. Hope this clears up some things
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

If you go back to the home - make sure you take a witness or two with you for your own protection.


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## spinelli009 (Dec 27, 2010)

Powerbane said:


> If you go back to the home - make sure you take a witness or two with you for your own protection.


I mean to stay there. I know she can not forbid me to be in house if there is no reason
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Powerbane (Nov 8, 2010)

But she can claim you're being abusive - look what happened the first time. Keep a tape recorder with you at all times. This is going to be really hard. Because she can just go cry Wolf and get a new RO.

Can anyone else here weigh in for spinelli?


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

atruckersgirl said:


> Hmm...I must have missed something. I didn't see any mention of another man.


There's always another man.

Or at the very least you have to actively search and rule out the existence of one.


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## spinelli009 (Dec 27, 2010)

Atholk said:


> There's always another man.
> 
> Or at the very least you have to actively search and rule out the existence of one.


There isn't one. I know this for a fact. But that is not my main concern.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Atholk (Jul 25, 2009)

So why did she kick you out / get the RO then?


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## Affaircare (Jan 11, 2010)

First, in order to get an RO a person has to at least claim that the other party "threatened" harm. If they have bruises, holes in the wall from a punch or kick, torn clothing, etc. that would be the evidence they would use. If they don't have that kind of physical evidence, they can also claim verbal abuse such as screaming for hours, calling names, or threats like "do this or I'll hit you"...and they did it to avoid being hit. The whole point of a Restraining Order is supposed to be getting the court system to restrain Party A from further abusing Party B. 

Second, usually RO's are used in one of two situations: *A)* Party A is abusing Party B, Party B files for the RO for protection and shows their evidence. The Temporary RO is for a short duration (generally about a month) until the Permanent RO hearing, at which time Party B shows evidence, Party A can defend themselves, and the judge decides if it's permanent. *B)* Party B is having an affair and wants to be able to conduct it without having their spouse (Party A) interfering, so they ask for a Temporary RO against Party A, their spouse is kicked out of the house, and their affair partner moves in usually that same day. 

Third, whether it is an abuse situation or a legal divorce maneuver by a vindictive unfaithful spouse, the result is exactly the same. Be EXTREMELY CAREFUL and obey the RO to the letter or you will end up in contempt of court and in jail--even if the temp RO is bogus. If you keep contacting, keep pressing to tell her you love her, keep showing up at home "to see your son", etc. eventually she will get peeved, call the police, and then what had once been temporary will not result in charges and court appearances, cost you your house probably, and likely diminish your custody chances! So I can not say this strongly enough: 

*OBEY THE RESTRAINING ORDER!!!*

Do not contact her in any way. If she is an illegal alien and gets sent back to her country because her spouse visa runs out... that's her decision. Your child(ren) will probably not be deported with her (as they would be citizens here) but you can certainly check into that with your own attorney. But for the month or maybe two that the restraining order is in effect, *DO NOT CONTACT HER IN ANY WAY*. Do not email, do not call, do not speak to her, do not write, do not show up at the house....nothing. If you can, video tape any time you spend with your son so you can prove you did not speak to her or interact in any way. If you get a phone call from her, video tape that she is contacting YOU and breaking her own Restraining Order. If she emails YOU do not answer it and instead make a screen print that she attempted to break her own RO. Then if you behave for a month or two, it will all be over. If you don't behave and you keep trying to contact her, then even if it was bogus, it will be enforced and you'll be in legal trouble. 

Okay??


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## spinelli009 (Dec 27, 2010)

I have not contacted her but she has contacted me but never talked to me, it was always my son. I want to go to family counseling but can not ask her since the RO is still on me. I do have a little over a month left on my RO. I just got papers for child support because she filed for food stamps and a few other things. My question is how can she get them if the RO is ending soon and I will be able to move back in my house. I dont know if she has or hasn't taken me off the lease, I thought it was illegal to do that. She is high risk to leave the country because he father might be getting a settlement for an injury he got at work.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zsu234 (Oct 25, 2010)

If she's an illegal call the border patrol and get her ass deported. Seriously, custody problem solved.


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## zsu234 (Oct 25, 2010)

The solution is to call the Border Patrol and get her ass thrown out of the country. An illegal alien gets an RO and gets a citzen thrown out of his own house? Detach from her and do a hard 180.


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## remmons (Dec 20, 2010)

> Obey the restraining order!!!
> Do not contact her in any way


X2.
Stay clean. Let HER be the bad guy here.


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