# WW having second thoughts



## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Well, Saturday night I got the call. Wife is 1week away from moving in with AP and is now panicking. She says is it too late? I want to come home. I think the fact that I've started the divorce up and her impending move have brought this on. Sunday morning when we talked she was less sure about coming back, and she wants to talk tonight. My guess is that she spent Sunday with him and she'll now be back to moving in with him. Not that I would take her back anyway, just the fact that she was so selfish to open this wound back up while in an emotional moment shows her extreme selfishness. Has anyone experienced something similar?


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## happyman64 (Jan 12, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> Well, Saturday night I got the call. Wife is 1week away from moving in with AP and is now panicking. She says is it too late? I want to come home. I think the fact that I've started the divorce up and her impending move have brought this on. Sunday morning when we talked she was less sure about coming back, and she wants to talk tonight. My guess is that she spent Sunday with him and she'll now be back to moving in with him. Not that I would take her back anyway, just the fact that she was so selfish to open this wound back up while in an emotional moment shows her extreme selfishness. Has anyone experienced something similar?


Main

Of course all cheaters are selfish. That goes without saying.

Have the conversation with her tonight. 

If she seems to slowly be coming out of the fog and you truly want to give your marriage one more shot then give her clear conditions to be able to come home.

Make the conditions clear.

Make it clear you are giving her one shot.

That is all you can do.

Her R with the OM is doomed. Then again maybe she is truly a nice person and does not mind pushing her BF around in a wheelchair. Lol!

Stay firm.

HM64


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## maincourse99 (Aug 15, 2012)

Thanks so much for the advice. My feeling is she'll go through with moving in with him, they signed a lease and she took a $2800.00 cash advance on her credit card for first month and security dep. my guess is she's got several thousand now in debt, it just keep spinning more out of control. I think in a few months she'll be looking for a way out, but she might surprise me tonight and tell me she wants to return.


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## snap (Oct 3, 2011)

If she hesitates whether to stay with you or leave, you shouldn't take her back.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Let her talk. Don't make any hasty decisions to R.The reality is starting to hit her right in the face


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## costa200 (Jun 27, 2012)

> Not that I would take her back anyway


If you're not interested in R why are still talking to her? She is just sucking you into her drama. Plus you're allowing her to think you're the backup plan, the spare tire if you will.


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## Will_Kane (Feb 26, 2012)

maincourse99 said:


> Well, Saturday night I got the call. Wife is 1week away from moving in with AP and is now panicking. She says is it too late? I want to come home. I think the fact that I've started the divorce up and her impending move have brought this on. Sunday morning when we talked she was less sure about coming back, and she wants to talk tonight. My guess is that she spent Sunday with him and she'll now be back to moving in with him. Not that I would take her back anyway, just the fact that she was so selfish to open this wound back up while in an emotional moment shows her extreme selfishness. Has anyone experienced something similar?


She had both OM and you for a long time. She doesn't want to give you up as a backup plan.

Just reassure her that you always will be there for her no matter what and she will move in with OM in a heartbeat.

Tell her that there's no way in the world that you will ever take her back, and she will be begging for a second chance (until you give it - then she'll move in with OM).

Just would like to continue to have her cake and eat it, too. I don't think this type of behavior will stop, even after she moves in with OM. Not until the divorce is final.


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## kenmoore14217 (Apr 8, 2010)

Me, I'd stand her up


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## Jonesey (Jul 11, 2011)

maincourse99 said:


> Well, Saturday night I got the call. Wife is 1week away from moving in with AP and is now panicking. She says is it too late? I want to come home. I think the fact that I've started the divorce up and her impending move have brought this on. Sunday morning when we talked she was less sure about coming back, and she wants to talk tonight. My guess is that she spent Sunday with him and she'll now be back to moving in with him. Not that I would take her back anyway, just the fact that she was so selfish to open this wound back up while in an emotional moment shows her extreme selfishness. Has anyone experienced something similar?



Second tought's she says! Yeah right.. She was most likley testing
The waters to see where she has you. Just in case, it dosent work out..

I say this with a straight face to any one. if your cheating wife/husband. Choses to move in with OM/OW. The end result should always ,and really mean walk away for ever..

To humiliating to be the back up plan for someone that 99% 
Off the time got dumped by OM/OW..


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## ArmyofJuan (Dec 29, 2010)

maincourse99 said:


> Well, Saturday night I got the call. Wife is 1week away from moving in with AP and is now panicking. She says is it too late? I want to come home. I think the fact that I've started the divorce up and her impending move have brought this on. Sunday morning when we talked she was less sure about coming back, and she wants to talk tonight. My guess is that she spent Sunday with him and she'll now be back to moving in with him. Not that I would take her back anyway, just the fact that she was so selfish to open this wound back up while in an emotional moment shows her extreme selfishness. Has anyone experienced something similar?


I have seen this before.

What normally happens is the BS gets weak and lets the WS come back. However, the A still continues and the WS ends up leaving after all (it just delays things giving them another chance, they ALWAYS fail).

You have 2 options, give her another chance and watch her screw it up and get angry with yourself OR push her out. It will fail with the OM of course but she won’t fully understand that until it actually happens. You can never truly R (if you want that) until the WS practically hates the AP. 

This cold feet she is having is just temporary, she is going to move in with him regardless if it’s today or a month from now. To show strength, tell her to go and that you’ll be better off without her. She needs to hit rock bottom and stay there for a bit if you ever want to see her be remorseful one day.


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## lordmayhem (Feb 7, 2011)

Remember, you are no one's backup plan.

To strengthen your resolve, change your phone numbers. If she must communicate, let it ONLY be thru email, and ONLY about divorce/financial matters. 

Do not meet in person or talk over the phone. That way you won't fall or cave in to any crocodile tears.


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## Kallan Pavithran (Jan 17, 2012)

She wanted to keep you as a safe place to return if the R with OM fails by this she is humiliating you again, first she did it by being with OM, Now the question is do you want to get humiliated again, again and again? If no then proceed with the D. show her that you value yourself, you also have self respect. let she know that your balls are not in the cookie jar anymore.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Why do you engage this chick when she is still in cantact with OM. 

Rule #1, NC w/ OM must be confirmed and verified, until then....180

I understand you won't take her back, but you still converse with her when she is still being influenced by the OM, you still get emotionally tortured by her. 

I just don't get the self inflicting pain you do to your self?

Remember the 180 protect you from getting hurt time and again. Distance your self and your chick can second guess her self all she wants. She is not your problem any more, she is the OM problem.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

She's Lucy with the football. She just wants the very last word. You are Charlie Brown but unlike Peanuts, you are onto her. You're not going to kick the football any more, you switched to baseball and you're done playing football.

Until she sweet talks you one last time into kicking that football.


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## hookares (Dec 7, 2011)

maincourse99 said:


> Well, Saturday night I got the call. Wife is 1week away from moving in with AP and is now panicking. She says is it too late? I want to come home. I think the fact that I've started the divorce up and her impending move have brought this on. Sunday morning when we talked she was less sure about coming back, and she wants to talk tonight. My guess is that she spent Sunday with him and she'll now be back to moving in with him. Not that I would take her back anyway, just the fact that she was so selfish to open this wound back up while in an emotional moment shows her extreme selfishness. Has anyone experienced something similar?


For starters, do you "know" for a fact that this guy is the only one she has bedded down with since you were together? Maybe you aren't even her "plan B", but her plan C or even D.
My ex and I split two years and six months ago after tweny years and four months "together".
She had been cheating on me for at tleast twenty years before informing me.
Since the split, she has asked to come back three times and I denied her each time. Each time she asked, she was already shacking up with a different guy and she may be living with a different one in a shanty town under a bridge three states away.
No matter how you try to paint it, SHE will never be somebody you can trust.


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## Kasler (Jul 20, 2012)

Is it too late? I want to come home = I want you in my back pocket incase things don't work out with OM.

If she really wanted to come home she'd be on your door step.

Fool woman, don't fall her crap and divorce her as*.


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## In_The_Wind (Feb 17, 2012)

ArmyofJuan said:


> I have seen this before.
> 
> What normally happens is the BS gets weak and lets the WS come back. However, the A still continues and the WS ends up leaving after all (it just delays things giving them another chance, they ALWAYS fail).
> 
> ...


frye street fair my friend go mean green


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