# Pets....



## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

So, this may not seem like a big to some who have kids, but for me who does not, our pets are my kids. We have 2 dogs and I moved out of the house into an apartment. We decided I would take the dogs but I was going to need some time to get them. Now he is having them stay at his girlfriends and I'm so angry. I just needed to vent. Another broken promise on his part.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## miche4 (Mar 17, 2014)

I don't have kids either.. just my dogs. Which we split between the two of us. I would be very angry too. But hopefully knowing that that the dogs will eventually come live with you helps


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

I get it. I felt that way about our animals for years before we had kids.
For couples with kids it would be like having the OW babysit the kids when you work. It sucks.
And yes, another broken promise. Pitiful, but probably not the last, You pick your battles and move on.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Sounds like he is too lazy to take care of them himself. She's he's having her do it.

Be glad that he did not take them to the pound. That's usually what people do when they don't want to take care of their pets.

Your pets will still love you when you finally get them.

How long before you think you can get them?


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

Why are they at the girlfriends? Is it because he works all day? Is it because he stays at the girlfriends at night? Your goal should be to get your situation in order to get the dogs ASAP, for now you should be happy they are being taken care of (even thought the situation sucks).

But you better hurry...if the dogs are at HER place long enough for her (and kids??) to bond you will have a battle on your hands getting the dogs back. Make a plan with a firm date, write up an agreement and have the ex sign it.


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## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

Yeah I am working on getting them ASAP. She doesn't have kids. I just know I need to get them as soon as possible. I strongly dislike telling people that, who don't understand. Because a lot of the times when I tell people who have kids, they look at me like I'm crazy and say "well at least it's not kids"... I get that, yes, we chose to not have kids yet, but our animals were our kids, and it may not be the same to you, but it still kills me. So annoying.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

I have a child, but I still get it about your animals. I have three dogs and I cannot imagine my life without them. They are considered as much a part of our family as the rest of us. Hope you are able to get them back soon!


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## Pluto2 (Aug 17, 2011)

ihatethis said:


> Yeah I am working on getting them ASAP. She doesn't have kids. I just know I need to get them as soon as possible. I strongly dislike telling people that, who don't understand. Because a lot of the times when I tell people who have kids, they look at me like I'm crazy and say "well at least it's not kids"... I get that, yes, we chose to not have kids yet, but our animals were our kids, and it may not be the same to you, but it still kills me. So annoying.


You love them. Nothing to ever apologize for in my book.


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

I'm sorry to hear your ex is being a d-bag about the dogs. I really hope you can get them soon. If I lived near you I would foster until you could bring them home just to not have to deal with your ex. 

We had 3 dogs when I left. I took 2, my ex kept the other and the cat. I wasn't even gone 2 whole months before he turned the dog into the humane society. The only reason I knew is b/c the microchip was registered to me so they had to call and notify me by law. I couldn't take him, I already had 2 large dogs and was renting and knew no one that could take him at a moments notice. It burns me up b/c if my stupid ex would have just let me know, we could have found him a good home.


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## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

vi_bride04 said:


> I'm sorry to hear your ex is being a d-bag about the dogs. I really hope you can get them soon. If I lived near you I would foster until you could bring them home just to not have to deal with your ex.
> 
> We had 3 dogs when I left. I took 2, my ex kept the other and the cat. I wasn't even gone 2 whole months before he turned the dog into the humane society. The only reason I knew is b/c the microchip was registered to me so they had to call and notify me by law. I couldn't take him, I already had 2 large dogs and was renting and knew no one that could take him at a moments notice. It burns me up b/c if my stupid ex would have just let me know, we could have found him a good home.


That is so sweet of you. I would that for someone in a heart beat as well. I wish I knew someone that could help. I just want them home.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

How long have you been separated?

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cooper (Apr 18, 2008)

ihatethis said:


> Yeah I am working on getting them ASAP. She doesn't have kids. I just know I need to get them as soon as possible. I strongly dislike telling people that, who don't understand. Because a lot of the times when I tell people who have kids, they look at me like I'm crazy and say "well at least it's not kids"... I get that, yes, we chose to not have kids yet, but our animals were our kids, and it may not be the same to you, but it still kills me. So annoying.


 I didn't mean to imply the dogs aren't important to you, heck I never cried once over my ex moving out but when I had to put our little buddy Winnie down I couldn't stop the tears. Anyone with dogs can relate to how you feel. You owe no one and apology for wanting your dogs.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

MY ex suggested she wanted to take our dog. While I kept my cool through most of it, this was one area that I DID NOT. I remeber very distinctly that I would have to be dead for her have Oscar. Then she agreed that he was more my dog than hers. 

He may be a bit of a douche, but he's MY douche..

I believe that he helped me a lot more than my therapist and he is still my buddy to this day. I always feel weird when my ex says hello to him. 

Yeah, strangers taking care of my pets...that would make me nuts too.


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## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

Cooper said:


> I didn't mean to imply the dogs aren't important to you, heck I never cried once over my ex moving out but when I had to put our little buddy Winnie down I couldn't stop the tears. Anyone with dogs can relate to how you feel. You owe no one and apology for wanting your dogs.


Oh, I wasn't talking about you. I meant people, off of TAM.


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## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

PBear said:


> How long have you been separated?
> 
> C
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We were divorced in January, but I didn't move out until April due to finding a place to live, as I didn't want to be in the house any longer. We had an agreement that he would have the dogs until things settled down, which he knew could be months.


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## ihatethis (Oct 17, 2013)

SamuraiJack said:


> MY ex suggested she wanted to take our dog. While I kept my cool through most of it, this was one area that I DID NOT. I remeber very distinctly that I would have to be dead for her have Oscar. Then she agreed that he was more my dog than hers.
> 
> He may be a bit of a douche, but he's MY douche..
> 
> ...


Yeah, it just makes me sick to my stomach. Especially when she has 2 aggressive dogs are her house. Not saying that I have anything against certain breeds, because I don't, but they aren't familiar with my dogs.


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## SamuraiJack (May 30, 2014)

Dogs have a tendency to work things out pretty well. 
Actually, dogs work things out better than their humans in almost every instance...


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Perhaps your ex is just trying to make the situation work as best he can? He wants to spend time with his new GF, and he doesn't want the dogs to be at home alone. So this is his compromise. 

Or maybe he's just an ass... Never met him, so I can't tell you. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ScarletBegonias (Jun 26, 2012)

I know it's tough not to stress that your babies are with the gf but maybe her place is better for them right now. You definitely need to get them back asap though bc you never know if they'll get into a snit and dump the pups at a shelter. I feel for ya hon...this is a tough one I think I'd feel jealous that some chick was spending time with my babies.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

In the eyes of the law, pets are PROPERTY (although we love them and treat them like family members). Do you have proof of ownership? Receipts showing you purchased them, or SPCA adoption records in your name? Vet records in your name? Rabies tags, AKC registration, vaccination or surgical records in your name?

If you can come up with proof of ownership, contact the Sheriff's office and have them escort you to the girlfriend's house to retrieve your "stolen property."


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## vi_bride04 (Mar 28, 2012)

happy as a clam said:


> In the eyes of the law, pets are PROPERTY (although we love them and treat them like family members). Do you have proof of ownership? Receipts showing you purchased them, or SPCA adoption records in your name? Vet records in your name? Rabies tags, AKC registration, vaccination or surgical records in your name?
> 
> If you can come up with proof of ownership, contact the Sheriff's office and have them escort you to the girlfriend's house to retrieve your "stolen property."


Yup in the eyes of the law, they are property. If the vet records are in your name or they are micro chipped in your name or you adopted them under your name you can most definitely have them claimed as stolen property and get them back.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Sorry guys, they aren't stolen property. They would be considered abandoned property. She left them when she moved. Rights revoke to him now. Just see how fast you can make arrangements to pick them up. As Scarlett said - maybe they are enjoying the company of other dogs and have adjusted and are OK for now.


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## happy as a clam (Jan 5, 2014)

Sorry Enjoli, but I have to disagree. Similar situation, details are in reverse: (Legal advice from an attorney on WomansDivorce.com) I also asked my attorney friend who concurs.

_"Is it considered abandoned property if he walked out 5 months ago?

Rosa's Question: My husband had an affair then walked out on me (and my dog) through a text message. He has been gone for 5 months now, is the property considered abandoned from his end or is he still entitled to half of everything?

Brette's Answer: No. He is still owner of marital assets."_

Copied from WomansDivorce.com. Read more at: http://www.womansdivorce.com/divorce-property-issues.html#ixzz34Ma3Lsit

The dogs are marital assets. If she can prove ownership, they're as much hers as they are his. He has no right to just take them and dump them at the girlfriend's house. GF has no legal standing to have them in her possession.


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

Interesting. But GF didn't steal them. It's not stolen property. Conversion of property loosely. If they are half his and he handed them over to her then he converted wife's half to his by making the unilateral decision. GF not responsible but ex maybe...


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## bravenewworld (Mar 24, 2013)

So frustrating! I was in a similar situation last year and everything worked out ok. While my ex and his gf didn't take care of the pets the way I do (brushing, snacks, playtime) they definitely met their basic needs. The pets are with me now, and we are all happier for it. 

One thing that did tick me off was the new gf was posting TONS of stuff to social media showing her interacting with my pets. Which would have been fine if she was actually playing with them but it was more like her showing them off or doing some weird art project. Nothing abusive, just odd and possessive. Drove me NUTS!!!!


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## Bluebirdie (Apr 26, 2014)

Are you able to take them back now? Have you talked to him about it? 

After first kid left home we got one dog, 2nd left, we got another one. I kept them, but whenever I go travel he takes them out for their walks or to the house out of the city if it is a long holiday. 

Now that I am going for 2.5 months, he told my son he was taking them every weekend. He uses my car. I am ok with it since it is good for the dogs. I wasnt going to ask but since he mentioned, I feel happy for it.

It has not been an agreement, but you could talk to him about sharing them too. Try to manage it in an amicable way and perhaps he will agree at once.

Good luck! I have had days I couldn't get out of bed if it wasnt for them coming to the bed for their walk which makes a difference in the world to start the day


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## Arendt (Mar 25, 2013)

Yeah I got two cats. They are awesome. We both kind of thought of them like kids in some ways. They get treated pretty well.

She moved into an apartment that did not allow cats so I even allowed her to cat sit and such till she finally decided on divorce. Now there is no contact. I have the cats and that is the way it is. 

We actually got the cats as companions because it was a way to see how we would handle the responsibility of having to take care of others as a couple. Practice for having kids kind of. Well...within 9 months she bailed. Got an apartment that didn't allow pets at all. 

Sooooo glad we did not have children. The cats noticed when she left though. And when she came to get her stuff when she moved out, after not being her for almost two months, they recognized her and ran to her. It was really interesting.


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