# I dobt want to have sex anymore



## colflu (Jun 12, 2012)

I've been with my husband for 5 years married for 3. Before we got married our sex life was really wonderful, sex happening 2 or 3 times a week. This was enough for both of us. Since we got married things have changed drastically. We now have sex maybe once a week. That's now enough for my husband but not for me. I'm so frustrated, I want to pull my hair out. The sex once a week goes like this - we both take our clothes off, get into it until my husband has an orgasm - and that's it. I can't tell you guys whens the last time I had an orgasm. We had sex about a month ago and it doesn't seem to bother him at all while I have gotten to a stage that I can't sleep at night. I have asked for sex and he says yes but when it comes down to it we never do. It just doesn't happen and like I said when it does happen I never reach orgasm. So I've decided to just tell him I don't want sex again - at all! What's the point? I get my hopes up each time for nothing. I'm the one sitting awake some nights not being able to sleep out of sheer sexual frustration. Btw - he knows why I can't sleep and he knows how I feel about all of this but nothing ever changes. Am I being ridiculous to refuse to have sex at all? What should I do? Any advice will help. Thanks for reading my rant...
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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

You're not being ridiculous, that said, it doesn't solve the real problem. You want to have sex with your husband, so by not having it, it'll help from a self-esteem point of view possibly, but the root problem is still there.

Have you discussed marriage counselling, or anything like that?

You say he knows how you feel, but you don't tell us what he says when you express those feelings. Is he at least listening, or is he blowing you off?

How long has this been happening? Since the start of the marriage, or later into it?

Has anything changed to cause him to possibly be less attracted to you, such as weight gain, change in appearance? Is there more stress now, such as more hours at work or a child?

Have you ruled out the possibility of him having an affair?


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## Gaia (Apr 27, 2012)

Have you ever told him to keep going so you can get yours? Or do you not say anything at all after he gets his?
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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

If you knows that you're not having orgasms, but he doesn't care, then I suggest you give him a taste of his own medicine.

Initiate sex, go at it until your husband is getting close, and then jump up like you forgot something. Tell him you'll have to give him a rain check. He will notice that. Women denied orgasms get frustrated. Men denied orgasms are in pain and frustrated.

If he pitches a fit, just smile and tell him that you feel like that all the time. If he wants his rain check, just tell him that you come first. Literally. He can do oral, manual, or whatever. But no fun for him until you're satisfied.

Good luck.


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

PHTlump said:


> If you knows that you're not having orgasms, but he doesn't care, then I suggest you give him a taste of his own medicine.
> 
> Initiate sex, go at it until your husband is getting close, and then jump up like you forgot something. Tell him you'll have to give him a rain check. He will notice that. Women denied orgasms get frustrated. Men denied orgasms are in pain and frustrated.
> 
> ...


This....and/or get yourself a rabbit. That will take care of your sexual frustration. 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0085CZ5WI/ref=mp_s_a_4?pi=SL75&qid=1349212464&sr=8-4 









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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

wiigirl said:


> This....and/or get yourself a rabbit. That will take care of your sexual frustration.


That's a good idea, too. If you have 10 minutes to finish, then you'll need some help. Just use that while you're having sex. You'll probably finish before he does.


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

Sorry to take the extreme here but is this a deal breaker for you? Would you end the marriage over it?

If so, be prepared to tell him that and be prepared to act on it. Tell him it's time for counseling to get to the root of the issue why he won't have sex with you ar help you finish. If he refuses, contact a lawyer and begin the process


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## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

Few suggestions.

You cant do anything out of spite. If you create that cycle of negativity its either going to breed an endless cycle or in the end you will never get what you ultimately, which is frequency and/or an orgasm.

There is a guy name Jason Julius, he is like a modern day sex guru. Not to say they're any other currently but this guy is amazing and accurate. Google him and you will find out more. He has a lot of tips or as he calls his videos, the female "blueprint". If your husband is serious and considerate about helping you reach that climax then he will definitely invest in the instructions given by Jason. Did you know 70% of women in relationships arent having orgasms?

Have you talked to him about this specifically? I just hate when people complain about something someone is not doing. It's like "Oh we've known each other this long, you should already know this". Uh, not really? As people we change over time so these we like adjust or completely change too. You have to tell him like "hey, Im not reaching an orgasm". I personally like my wife to be straight forward or brutally honest. Its the easiest way to fix a particular problem. If he doesnt know that its an issue for you then how you can expect him to change? Granted, routine or prediction can be the biggest turn off in any relationship/marriage. So put your two cent out there! He's probably thinking if it aint broke, dont fix it. Yeah initially you denying him will work but you have to point why he's getting denied. You could easily say Im bored, Im not satisfied, or Im frustrated. If you say why it gives him a chance to reevaluate the situation and fix it. We arent mind readers and if we were then commitement would be useless lol.


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## needguidance (Aug 17, 2012)

On top of all that, I wouldnt recommend the whole threat or making demands. Just think about if he started doing that to you? People need to know they're wanted but know they can be easily replaced. Being replaced has to be subtle, it cant be upfront. If you want to be married, stay married, and know he is who you truly want to be with then I suggest you take every other route than a way out. Try every resource. Talk to him, counseling, improve yourself, and if he isnt willing to comply with all the good you have provided for your marriage and improving yourself, then move on! Just make sure its a last resort like a last option that wasnt on the table. There are more ways to utilize your resources but just make sure you have given 110% before you throw in the towel.


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