# Hubby has separated after 27yr



## ozshell (May 21, 2015)

Hi , I'm new and just need to vent and get other peoples views.
My husband and i have been together 27 years , married 24 years, We have two beautiful children who we are both very proud of (16 & 17) and very close to both of them 
2 weeks ago out of the blue my husband told me he wants to separate, January 2014 he told me he was not in love with me any more, he loved me as the mother of his children and a long time friend, so we worked on our relationship Counciing, Date nights, private time for us, surprise gift and tasks etc and things were great, the strongest we have ever been (or so I thought) 
Financially things have been tough since Christmas and I also had a cancer scare so he was stressed and I put his lack of interest (sexually, normally a very high Libedo) and huffy mood down to stress then out of the blue , I WANT A SEPARATION AND THERE IS NO HOPE OF RECONCILIATION 
I know for sure this is none else involved , he is open with his phone, computer etc and his job doesn't give him time to sneak around, he has little to no social life so there can't be anyone there.
He want to stay friends and still be involved as Friends in each others lives, and put our Kids first in everything, He is living in our Granny flat until we sell our house and can start our new lives


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## Yeswecan (Jul 25, 2014)

I do not see your H reason for separation. Simply because he is not in love with you anymore? Then who is he in love with?


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## Openminded (Feb 21, 2013)

I don't know if he's cheating or not but there have been many who thought their spouse had no time to cheat and found out otherwise. Few men, especially, divorce without someone waiting in the wings. Just keep that in mind so you won't get caught off guard in case there is someone.


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## Happilymarried25 (Mar 19, 2014)

Openminded said:


> I don't know if he's cheating or not but there have been many who thought their spouse had no time to cheat and found out otherwise. Few men, especially, divorce without someone waiting in the wings. Just keep that in mind so you won't get caught off guard in case there is someone.


So true, unless there is serious problems (and it doesn't sound like you have that) men usually don't leave a marriage unless they have another women waiting in the wings. They don't like to be alone and have to take care of themselves.. Have you told your children? Has he thought about how this will affect them? Sorry you are going through this.


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## LBHmidwest (Jan 3, 2014)

I'm not sure if you are shell shocked but you seem rather calm.

It's not that hard to have a second phone, my ex had two I didn't know about. Time... it doesn't take that much. Person, could be right there or online or phone or old friend, neighbor.

Odd are overwhelming he's with someone emotionally if not physically. The battle from January to now was the other woman won and now he's trying to extricate as smoothly as possibly so you don't take him to the cleaners.


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## SecondTime'Round (Jan 15, 2015)

"I will always love you as the mother of my children" means he's in love with someone else (or, let me clarify, THINKS he is in love with someone else). MANY of us have heard these words.

You may think he has no time for anyone else, but I'd bet LOTS of money he does and he's just smarter than you think at hiding it.


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