# Ugh Dunno Where to Begin.. This Sucks



## usernam (Apr 9, 2013)

Lets just say I've been married over 4 years. I've worked very hard to keep my marriage, and family together. I got a great home my wife seemed so happy about it. My wife started having issues all of a sudden when her long time friends mother came to visit. She then said she missed her daughter etc because she moved away. Business was booming during Christmas I was working constantly I even lost feelings in my hands, and feet I was so stressed. I'm not sure what happened if I had a stroke mini heart attack who knows it took months for me to be able to feel again. I was scared uninsured, tired, and later that night my wife jumps up knocks the coffee out of my hand blows me out, and jerks me around and rips my jacket, and chokes me just because i told her i was very tired. 

I had been telling her I was worried about her and our 2 year old son. And possibly loosing the house. She didn't care though. she never liked anything but playing on FB, and sitting on the couch is what she did. I asked her to come down stairs and sit with me or even help me, or just spend some time with me. I cleaned, I cooked, I vacuumed, I tried to get her into decorating the home she just screams I don't decorate. Tried everything to keep her busy bought her rabbits she refused to clean up after them, so she wanted me to get rid of them. 

I even made a room so if I was busy we could still be together and watch movies, even if I was working. She never seemed interested. Everything I feel I done right was wrong to her. She is younger about 8 years younger and im 29. I mean I love her to death, I still still stay calm while she argues at me. Finally that night she left. She joined dating sites, as well when we had a apartment and something like this happened before. She don't trust me, I can't make her trust me. I even shared my password to emails and texts etc. She was mad if I even talked to anyone if they wasn't of the male race. So i agreed I wouldn't just for her. I've admitted I may have overlooked her feelings as well, and maybe should've not worried so much about our home. But she left again its been over 2 months ago. 

She said she wanted me then she said she had no feeling then she said she wanted me, lead me on and on. From the get go I should've known better when I heard her mention she wouldn't mine multiple guys doing bad things to her. Finally after dealing with all this heartbreak trying to save the marriage I give and and say look what do you want. I mean I feel I couldn't trust her. Because my whole marriage she said stuff like that. But yet I thought of it just being a fantasy as everyone has a fantasy, but it stays a fantasy. So we start working things out again. I get her back over here to stay with me, and a friend comes over so I wanted to truly text her. I said you want a 3some she just stripped and let another guy touch her sexually the other guy didn't do anything else but play in you know about every hole. 

How did I feel about it? I felt terrible, but she promised that she was really wanting things to work out this time. Even said you can do this or that. I didn't wanna do anyone you know I just wanted to see if she would flip. I mention somebody the girl flips. Gone again. I do, and did everything for her, only because I loved her. So much. All she wants is to be in the home she grew up in, and have those friends she claims she lost when she was young back long ago. In reality she don't see what I've done for her. And how much I've tried. Even if it hurt me, i trusted her, she promised, she just lied and let me down. And most of all I'm just stupid because I still love her.

Now 3 days later she hasn't done nothing called, wrote once and just told me she hates me and hope I die etc.. And wishes the worst pain in the world on me. Said she feels nothing for me, and I'll never see my child or ever take him out alone. The only choice she gives me is that she will not be there and I'll have to sit with her mom or her moms friend which is the neighbor. Im sick of this, I love her, but to treat me this way when I tried everything I could to make her happy is wrong. I think I should go ahead, and file the papers, pick up the pieces left of my heart and try to work even though its so hard to do right now. She tore my life apart when she told me she didn't care if I was sick because her father was handicapped, and she wouldn't love me or be beside me if I was sick. Not to mention she could actually do what she did, and not care or have any remorse for me. But to take my child and give me no options i will not take that. Just feels like Im gonna loose my home because i cant work, I feel my kid don't even exist anymore, i had to bag his toys because I cry when I see them. I cry when I go visit him, but not in front of him. She just has no idea what she has said, and done, and its heartless, and she don't care.


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## Arendt (Mar 25, 2013)

You are in an abusive relationship. When a person uses violence against you, tells you they hate you and hope you die, it is time to let go. Why would you put up with that kind of behavior? You cannot fix her, and if she returns, the same patterns will show up again. Let her go, do not ask her to come home, beg her, tell her I love you or anything. It is called a 180.

Read _Codependent No More_ by Melodie Beattie. There is a workbook for it as well. Individual counseling (IC) would be very helpful for you. Work on yourself and your emotional issues, start working out if your doctor will allow it.


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## usernam (Apr 9, 2013)

Problem is during all this we have a 2 year old. I spent the last two years with growing up with. Now she refuses to let me take him out alone, see him etc. I mean some day's when I stay busy, and out traveling with my friends its like it don't matter anymore I feel great. I mean just a simple text goes unanswered hours. I've told her it's over, as well, and I don't wanna be with her. She feels the same, but why is she acting like a total well you know. But I'd like to get along so I can see my son. Usually I'm just told he's fine, or I call, and she says Im walking, and hangs up. It really sucks to be treated this way by someone you took care of and loved and had dreams with. But today I thought back, and just broke down. It's really hard, living alone, running your own business, knowing you can't stop working no matter the situation, doing everything alone, wondering why she could careless, why she wants to hurt our child in this process, and not let him see his dad, just because she might be mad. I wanna just go for divorce and try to get some alone visitation, as my family wants to see the baby as well. I mean she thinks everything is her's, and I'm just a donor as she says. I really don't wanna go to court, fight, custody battle etc. But acting like this isn't helping me in my decision. Doing things like this just makes me wanna show her i will go, and force papers on her. She just really don't things like this seriously. She's a mommas girl if you say anything about seeing your child etc she'll say im gonna hang up. A small arguement she calls momma to come get her. That's the way it was.. I just dunno how some people can just treat others they supposed loved so badly. And not have one bit of remorse for them. But on a good note some of the pain is leaving as i've said I'm ready to move on. But yet I can't "move on" she is watching every move so she can get me in court for like adultery etc, or having a affair or something even though she left me, if I try to file against her, but still sometimes it just hits you.. Then you get the feeling if you do wanna be with someone its just not gonna be the same, and then again yeah like I said above she is very jealous. And really i don't feel like seeing anyone right now. Like wow almost 5 years I remember the good times, the dreams we shared, etc. She remembers all the bad. So out of meanness she continues to do everything in her power to make me feel like crap. Oh well. I mean give it a break you left your happy, I'm not wanting you back, and your not wanting me back so whats the deal.. grrr


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## GutPunch (Nov 2, 2012)

Consult a lawyer asap. 

You have rights to your child. 

Do not be the nice guy anymore.

What does she do for money?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arked (Mar 2, 2013)

Your wife has some major problems. You have rights please do not forget that fact. I would talk to an attorney soon and find out out about your options.


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