# I hate my life.. Warning this is LONG



## Madbunny (Aug 9, 2011)

I cannot believe that I am where I am.I am once again angry and hurt.I had spoken to my sister the week before Christmas and she told me that my mother in law asked her WTF is wrong with me,I was completely taken aback as to what this was about.
Apparently she is upset that I am not taking care of her son (not cooking and cleaning) as a proper wife should do. I admit i do hate cooking,but I did cook and I clean the house maybe not spotless but it is clean.

I do work about 36 hrs per week.My husband is now unemployed due to his company not having enough work contracts and too many employees.All of a sudden my husband has been obsessed with doing the cooking and shopping and cleaning the kitchen.

Honestly I don't know what to think.I like not having to come home from work and cook all the time,however I dislike having no say as to what is for dinner.(i shut up about that though

)He is also crazy now about there being anything on the counters or in the sink.He will now jump up the second his food is swallowed and commence to washing the dishes

.Prior to this he never washed a dish in 18 years.And he makes a big show of it..I don't get it.Anyways I confronted him about his mother as to where she would get that idea

.He played completely dumb and denied even talking to his mom,so i assume he is either full of S*** or he whined to his brother and he said something.

Either way I am now pissed about it ,as I never gave up cooking.He sort of took it over.He always complained about the way I did things and would stand over me asking"did you add garlic and pepper?" "you need to turn those" "turn the flame up"He would also ridicule me for not being good at making everything come out even.

I admit I have a hard time making more than 2 things at a time.He has even stood over me while making him a sandwich and told me exactly how to place the meat cheese tomato etc, and when I told him to just relax and I had made a sandwich before( jokingly) he said "well i would do it like this"then went on to rave about how his mom makes sandwiches

Being around him makes me tense as I feel like I can't do anything how he would or his mom uggh.So for Christmas dinner I made a prime rib and potatoes and salad etc I spent all day in the kitchen.After dinner he jumps up and clears plates and makes a big show of it and his mom is looking at him all starry eyed saying what a good boy he is(GAG)

He took the laundry from me as well(his own) He didn't like the way i did it, so I didn't fight I just let him do it,I wash everything else.This evening I talk to my sister again MIL is once again asking what is my problem.

I ask my sis what she is talking about and my husband called his mom and ordered up two big pans of chicken enchiladas so he could freeze them and have meals or lunch.She asks my sister what is his wife for.

Now I am beginning to not like her very damn much as she is seeing only one side of this.I want to talk to her but now i am so angry I am afraid I will blow up in her face.

Apparently she is also mad at me for not talking in depth to her about my miscarriage and cancer scare last March.
Now I feel I have to defend myself for all these things the latter being something I am still having trouble with I feel like a failure over it.I have lately started thinking about driving my car into a big tree..HELP Sorry for this huge rant I just have no one to really talk to Hugs to all


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## deejov (Sep 24, 2011)

Chill, relax. Please don't do anything rash. Call a helpline if you need to, please!!

If hubby is not working, he maybe has found something to do with his time that makes him feel important. Try to enjoy that he is cooking.

What his mother says is none of your business. Smile and nod.

My MIL kinda said the same thing to me once. I was ill for a few months, and I had to ask my H to pitch in with stuff around the house. He complained to his mom, she gave me the same speech --- I should be "taking care" of him the way she would.

Only problem with that? If you ask my H, he HATED the way his mom fluttered around him and cleaned up after himself. He LIKES to do stuff around the house and be independent. Why did he complain to his mom then? Who knows. Old habits. 

You are married to your H not the MIL. She's free to her own opinion. Ignore it. 

As far as "not doing things right", well he solved that by doing them himself. When he is working, things might change again and you might miss the extra help around the house. 

In the meantime, maybe you guys could take a couples cooking class! OR maybe the MIL could come over and help you both cook the chicken dish.

Hope you are feeling better soon


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## Shaggy (Jul 17, 2011)

If hubby isn't working he is no doubt feeling bored, maybe a little depressed about it. He's dealing with having the time on his hands by becoming super house husband by the sound of it.

MIL no doubt has seen or heard about it and reacted with the "why is my little boy cooking and cleaning" and immediately blamed you. She doesn't realize it's he himself that's doing it. 

So ignore the MIL -100% of what she is saying, doing, acting is typical MIL behavior. She can't see a darn thing wrong in anything her little boys does. On the other hand, she is competing with you to the woman in his life. 

You can't win the fight, you can only survive it and ignore her knowing you are playing out a centuries long play.


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## Madbunny (Aug 9, 2011)

Quick update.. I went to her house today and asked her why she is saying these things(calmly and politely)Well surprise surprise my husband has been in there whining to his mom!

And for added giggles so has his brother.That came as no surprise to me really.I just told her there are two sides to this and he is no angel,but I have no wish to play nasty and make him look bad,
so I held my tongue.

I did however tell her of his new obsession with being what i have now named him"the Kitchen B*tch". So if he complains again it's not that I am not willing to cook just by the time i get home it is already done.I feel better that I talked to her and it is kind of funny
she said I am sure he is not the perfect husband.

".I am married to his father". She also went on to tell me that she was sad that I didn't come to her during my miscarriage and all,and that she loves me very much no matter what.

I wish my husband and I had this sort of good honest communication, then I probably wouldn't be on here!

I am concerned with my random thoughts at times,I do not want to die
I think it's more of i just want to escape.There are alot of things I love about life so I think i am ok but i am seeking IC this time with a
wonderful counselor who is focusing on me for now.So anyhow ...
Happy New Year everyone


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## Savywife84 (Jan 2, 2012)

Your MIL should really try to stay out of your personal matters. If your husband is not working and you are then why should it be your responsibility to do everything? That is definitely sexist on her part.Maybe doing the housework keeps his mind off of being out of work. I would tell your MIL how you feel or the situation will get worst...I know from experience!


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