# Sigh.....your stepkids that you are leaving behind?



## itsmeokay (Sep 25, 2013)

I'm still wrestling with the thought that if we get a divorce, I have no legal rights to my stepson. No one really seems to talk about this, so I'm hoping to get some real discussion going here.

In a traditional family that breaks up, both parties can have joint custody of the kids. And the relationships are maintained either way, because well.....they are your biological kids. You are always going to be either dad/daddy or mom/mommy no matter who your ex-spouse dates or marries down the line. 

My stepson is almost 5 years old, and I basically have been in his life since he was in diapers. If my husband and I divorce, I just don't see how I can remain in his life nor do I see how it would be reasonably for the long-term that we would be able to maintain the nature of our relationship......as mother and child. He calls me Mommy, and he is my child, my angel, my baby, and my son. I refer to him as my child wherever I am. And my husband has full custody of him.

Is there any chance that I can still be Mom to him, even if me and my husband divorce? Even if my husband goes on to marry a new woman (meaning new step-child) in some years? Even if I remarry?

I'm just so torn


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## Aerith (May 17, 2013)

Are you or your husband considering divorce? If not at the moment than you should stop worring about something that might not happen.

Theretically you can talk to your husband about adoption but if he had a custody battle then it is unlikely that he would agree. 

Do you consider having your own kids?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I actually got custody of my stepson. Met his mother when he was 3, divorced her when he was about 8 and she gave me custody. He's 35 now and I'm the only dad he's ever known. Divorce is sad business, but I didn't figure my problems with his mother had anything to do with his relationship with me. The best world for him would be if you could figure out how to make the marriage work with his father. If your husband has had custody since the boy was in diapers, bio mom is either dead or a real piece of work. It'd be an awful shame for two mother figures to dump out on this boy if there was a way to prevent it.


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