# Why Does It Hurt Me? I feel like I cant breathe...First time I cry post-breakup



## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

So Ive come to terms with the fact that I will NEVER get back with the stupid bastard, regardless of him and his ex working it out, that I deserve better than him and that it will get better with time.

but why am I sooooo angry??? Why does it hurt so much?? Why cant I stop thinking about him being happy with her while im here suffering?

I hate this and honestly, I dont think I will ever love again at all. This is the first time that I actually break down after the break up. I hate feeling this way.

On this Friday night, all I keep thinking about is how he might take her to the movie theater that we always used to go to. Or to the restaurants that we went to...

I dont deserve this at all....he hurt me so badly...I was such a good woman to him, always there for him, always making sure he was ok, that he ate and was well and all I got was him telling me he wanted to try it with his ex. He hurt me to an irreparable point. How will I ever trust again...

Im so broken right now, ive been trying to be strong but all I keep asking myself is why. What did I do to deserve such misery....to be treated the way he did by letting me go, i thought he loved me for real and I really thought he cared. He was always telling me how beautiful I was and how he would never leave me and then does it. Oh man, tonight will be a long night....

SORRY I NEEDED TO VENT.


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## 3Xnocharm (Jun 22, 2012)

I am right there with you! I am feeling the same things!


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## 5Creed (May 29, 2011)

I think we all go through these times when we have a break-up. Remember though that you are worthy and you will realize that you are better off without him. Right now it doesn't feel that way but give it...time. That has been what has helped me the most. There were some days that I did not think I would ever be able to move forward and I still have them-but the next day is better. Soon you will have more good days than bad. It will come! Let yourself feel the hurt and betrayal you feel, but don't get stuck there. You are a good woman and things are going to get better; even if it doesn't feel like it tonight. There are so many good men out there and you are going to find one! Hang in there~


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

msgarcia000 said:


> So Ive come to terms with the fact that I will NEVER get back with the stupid bastard, regardless of him and his ex working it out, that I deserve better than him and that it will get better with time.
> 
> What did I do to deserve such misery....to be treated the way he did by letting me go, i thought he loved me for real and I really thought he cared. He was always telling me how beautiful I was and how he would never leave me and then does it. Oh man, tonight will be a long night....


First, you claim this man is a "stupid bastard." 'Nuff said. He worked it out with his ex. You deserve better.

The misery you have right now is normal and natural. You can also allow yourself to wallow in it, if you so desire. 

The guy fed you a crock of sh!t. He may have meant it at the time, but he turned around and dumped you.

Being dumped hurts. It makes us angry. We want closure.

Given what you are telling us about this clown, you are not going to get closure from him. However, I can tell you one thing with absolute certainty: in a year from now, you will be shaking your head and wondering why you spent so much time agonizing over the wrong man.

I've been dumped. More times than I care to count. Yes, it hurt and I was sad and depressed. But I survived it. The pain of betrayal is awful. But I found that slowly starting to move back into my circle of friends, to go back out there and get involved with life again, helped ease the pain.

We all experience painful situations in relationships. We all hate feeling anger, confusion, depression, and all the other ugly stuff that comes with a break-up.

Give yourself some time to process what you are feeling, then go back out and hang with your friends and try to start enjoying yourself again.

This sucks. But this, too, shall pass.


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## IndiaInk (Jun 13, 2012)

It's hurts you because it really sucks.

And it will for awhile.

But just don't let it go on forever okay?...all that does is punish you...and for some strange reason...we humans often like to wallow in our own misery for far too long.

I'm not saying you're doing that...it's totally fine to be angry and sad and need to vent...after all we're only human.

I'm just saying that I hope you watch out for this self-defeating behavior as time goes on. Don't let the past poison the future.

Remember: Nothing is Forever. And it never was going to be. 

And this truth tends to make us all quite sad...but we should use this knowledge to make sure that we have the most worthwhile, meaningful, positive life possible

It should make us strive to seek out the best people, the best relationships, and deep, meaningful connections with one another (romantically or otherwise) 

Something really good...far better than what you had...could be out there waiting for you...and 90% of you attaining it will come down to how willing you are to seek it out.

Best of Luck!!


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## msgarcia000 (Aug 7, 2012)

Yeah, I am right there with you guys. Ive already planned a trip in 2 months to my mother land, Dominican Republic. I did that the last time that I broke up with an ex and it did wonders. Thank you for your insights and I will take them in.

He was a loser. He wanted to explore so I let him go and he chose to let me go for her. No matter how "good" he was to me sometimes, it was all broken by his actions. I cried enough while I was writing this thread and Im exhausted. I dont wanna keep thinking about this guy any longer, he's not even worthy of my thoughts. 

Thanks guys


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

msgarcia000 I'm so sorry your so hurt and sad.

What he has done sucks for you.... yes he is a loser. 

((hugs))


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## KathyBatesel (Apr 26, 2012)

One thing I can promise you... What he did to you doesn't mean you failed in any way. It doesn't mean YOU are a failure. It doesn't mean your ACTIONS were wrong. It doesn't mean you should change who you are or what you believe in. 

It just means he didn't "get" you the way you deserve to be understood and loved. 

Someone out there is waiting to show you what that's like. I don't know if you'll find him in a month, a year, or a decade, but he's there. It took me until I was 40 to find mine.


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