# wanting to save a marriage after seperating



## missinghim (Jun 26, 2010)

Hello
My husband of 10 years (married only 5 of them,but have lived together 10 years) decided he wanted to move out recently. This came on very suddenly, we has just bought a home and we were still in the process of even moving in furniture. It was a very stressful couple months, as he was working on the house and i was working graveyard shifts. We also have 3 kids together age 8,6,6. I know that we have been fighting a lot over the last months, a lot due to stress on both parts over the house. We have major communication problems in our marriage. we usually just yell when we should be talking things through, and we both know that. I, however, in the last couple years have been getting angry. I never was an angry person before, but something has changed in me....i dont understand it. When we argue now, many times I will get so frustrated and not able to work it out and scream for him to get out......well the way he put it was he just decided to go ahead and do it. I feel awful...He is the love of my life, my best friend. I NEVER mean it when i say it, ever....its just a way for me to power trip in my anger I guess. Well now he has been gone for a week. He is living at some unknown location (only 1 friend knows where he is) he has shut me, the kids, all his friends completly out. I want to reconcile this relationship. I want him to know how much I love him. Is there any advice for me to help me be strong and patient and in turn help save this marriage?


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

Give him time, work on yourselves. You have to show him that you want to change by actions. You need to find peace in yourself, get rid of all the anger. Seek professional help, God, friends, family, your kids. At this moment your husband is probably looking for that since he feels he was in a battlefield as someone else told me once. Have faith and see what happens.


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## sparkside1 (Jun 26, 2010)

I agree, right now there is nothing you can physically do to change his mind. Work on yourself and let him have time out to miss you and think about his own behaviour. I know it's incredibly hard but until you make positive changes in your own life, he won't take any notice and won't want to come home.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I agree with the others on this one. However, I am curious why he walked away from his children. And also, why he would go out on a limb for a new house, if he was wanting to disconnect? Do you suspect anyone else is in his life?


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