# Married 19 years with 5 children..



## allgood615 (12 mo ago)

I have every reason to believe that my wife is a covert narcissist who is mentally torturing me with blurry pictures and videos of her cheating on me with my best friend who was the best man at our wedding. It seems that my wife and former friend are both actually participating in this gaslighting campaign and I feel like I am a source of twisted entertainment for them. My wife says that I am crazy but no matter what I say or do she says she doesn't want to split up. I have been dealing with this ordeal for 10 years.
I found notes in my friends handwriting in my wife's files which appeared to be study notes for my wife to be initiated into some facet of a masonic order he belongs to. I mention this aspect as some people have told me it might have something to do with the feeling I have that whatever is going on has been coordinated by more individuals than just my former friend and wife.
There is so much more to this but I don't want to bore anyone initially but I welcome any advice and would love to hear from anyone who may have experienced anything similar to this apparent kind of affair driven narcissism and bizarre type of gaslighting. Thank you all in advance!


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Where are you seeing these videos?
Have you done any investigating of your own? Why are you still with her?
The Masons thing seems odd because they are usually men only.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Have you seen a mental health professional? 

Your really should.


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## Mr.Married (Feb 21, 2018)

If you are 10 years into this situation then you are as much to blame as them.


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## allgood615 (12 mo ago)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> Have you seen a mental health professional?
> 
> Your really should.


Yes, we have seen them separately and together. Why do you have such a firm opinion about my sanity? Are you psychic? 


Mr.Married said:


> If you are 10 years into this situation then you are as much to blame as them.


For sure.. 


Rob_1 said:


> You can not be mentally tortured unless you're of of those weak, pathetic males that gets punched by the little wife and cry like a baby about it, or there's something wrong with you for real. More input is necessary to get a better picture. anyway, the way you presented your problem in your opening post, you come across as a mousy dude.
> 
> I tell you what a man does when confronted with the so called blurry pictures (are they shown to you by your wife or are you getting them anonymously): if you're satisfied that is them, then, what's there to argue? you just kick her out your life, without warning, just serve her divorce papers and move on with 50/50 custody. That's all there is to it. But if like you say: it's been ten years of the same, then I doubt very much you have the balls to do anything at all.
> 
> Question: do you work?


Yes I am the breadwinner. Work very hard, always have.


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

i am not a mason, and do not have any of the masonic secret information. but from everything i have seen, and from friends who were masons, they are only a benevolent organization. If your mason friend was inducting your wife for purposes of adultery, he would be drummed out of his local chapter. In fact if you have any factual truth, find out the local potentate and present your case.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

Talker67 said:


> i am not a mason, and do not have any of the masonic secret information. but from everything i have seen, and from friends who were masons, they are only a benevolent organization. If your mason friend was inducting your wife for purposes of adultery, he would be drummed out of his local chapter. In fact if you have any factual truth, find out the local potentate and present your case.


A family member was a mason. It was for men only.


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## karole (Jun 30, 2010)

Diana7 said:


> A family member was a mason. It was for men only.


Eastern Star is the female organization related to the Masons


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## Talker67 (Apr 7, 2016)

Diana7 said:


> A family member was a mason. It was for men only.


i was going to say the same thing too, but was not sure


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

karole said:


> Eastern Star is the female organization related to the Masons


Yes but completely separate.


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## wmn1 (Aug 27, 2014)

allgood615 said:


> I have every reason to believe that my wife is a covert narcissist who is mentally torturing me with blurry pictures and videos of her cheating on me with my best friend who was the best man at our wedding. It seems that my wife and former friend are both actually participating in this gaslighting campaign and I feel like I am a source of twisted entertainment for them. My wife says that I am crazy but no matter what I say or do she says she doesn't want to split up. I have been dealing with this ordeal for 10 years.
> I found notes in my friends handwriting in my wife's files which appeared to be study notes for my wife to be initiated into some facet of a masonic order he belongs to. I mention this aspect as some people have told me it might have something to do with the feeling I have that whatever is going on has been coordinated by more individuals than just my former friend and wife.
> There is so much more to this but I don't want to bore anyone initially but I welcome any advice and would love to hear from anyone who may have experienced anything similar to this apparent kind of affair driven narcissism and bizarre type of gaslighting. Thank you all in advance!



and why are you still with her ? And why are you still referring to him as your 'best friend' ?


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## Rob_1 (Sep 8, 2017)

allgood615 said:


> Yes, we have seen them separately and together. Why do you have such a firm opinion about my sanity? Are you psychic?
> 
> For sure..
> 
> Yes I am the breadwinner. Work very hard, always have.


Although my post was deleted by a moderator, what I say if read correctly, I was not saying (offensive toward you) or implying that you were that. I was giving an example of the type of men that behave in such weak ways as to come across as mousy, but as to my question if you work. I asked it because many men that are stay at home dads, after a while become so domesticated (beta males) that their wife not longer see them as an strong man, and lose all their respect for their stay at home husband, but the guys at work or other places come across the wife's perception as alphas, and direct their attention to such men. I was trying to rule out such set up for your weak behavior and reactions to your wife for such a long time.

The rest of my original take on your situation as per my second paragraph, still stand.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

allgood615 said:


> I have every reason to believe that my wife is a covert narcissist who is mentally torturing me with blurry pictures and videos of her cheating on me with my best friend who was the best man at our wedding. It seems that my wife and former friend are both actually participating in this gaslighting campaign and I feel like I am a source of twisted entertainment for them. My wife says that I am crazy but no matter what I say or do she says she doesn't want to split up. I have been dealing with this ordeal for 10 years.
> I found notes in my friends handwriting in my wife's files which appeared to be study notes for my wife to be initiated into some facet of a masonic order he belongs to. I mention this aspect as some people have told me it might have something to do with the feeling I have that whatever is going on has been coordinated by more individuals than just my former friend and wife.
> There is so much more to this but I don't want to bore anyone initially but I welcome any advice and would love to hear from anyone who may have experienced anything similar to this apparent kind of affair driven narcissism and bizarre type of gaslighting. Thank you all in advance!


This all sounds pretty far fetched. I get the impression you think there is some sort of cult pulling her strings and they are all conspiring to get to you with blurry pictures of your wife having sex with your best man. I think @She'sStillGotIt came to a similar conclusion which is why she questioned your sanity. You're going to have to provide a bit more detail about what you've seen/been shown, where it came from, why you think it is her and him, etc. At this point you just sound like you need psychiatric help.


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## A18S37K14H18 (Dec 14, 2021)

allgood615 said:


> but no matter what I say or do she says she doesn't want to split up.


WHAT?

It only takes one person to break up or divorce. Her not wanting to split up has zero bearing, NONE, if that's what you want to do. Full stop.

She may not want to split up, but if you do, then the two of you will split up even though she doesn't want that to happen.


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## BigDaddyNY (May 19, 2021)

A18S37K14H18 said:


> WHAT?
> 
> It only takes one person to break up or divorce. Her not wanting to split up has zero bearing, NONE, if that's what you want to do. Full stop.
> 
> She may not want to split up, but if you do, then the two of you will split up even though she doesn't want that to happen.


But that may be giving into the desire of the cult pulling her strings. He doesn't want to give them the satisfaction.


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## Edmund (Apr 1, 2017)

karole said:


> Eastern Star is the female organization related to the Masons


F.A.T.A.L.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

allgood615 said:


> _*Yes, we have seen them separately and together. Why do you have such a firm opinion about my sanity? Are you psychic?*_


One doesn't need to be 'psychic' to know when they see crazy. And I'm sorry, but I see crazy.

Your paranoid delusions that 'multiple people' are in on some kind of super-secret "initiation" into the Masons along with all the other "mental movies and images" you claim your wife keeps making you have - *for the last 10 YEARS* - doesn't require one to be a physic to tell you to get professional help.

So, there's that.

I'm sorry, I just calls them as I sees them.


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