# Getting a divorce



## Bradford16 (May 31, 2010)

Hello everbody I'm new here but this has been killing me for about a month now and I don't know what to do. I hope somebody can help me.

Me and my wife got married about a 1 and a half ago and as soon as we said I do the problems started I'm in the Military and they made me move out of the barracks to my wifes apartment the reason we got married so early was because she was pregnent and she didn't have healthcare insurance so I was like the military will pay for it. So the military made me move in with her she was staying with her sister at the time and she just acted like I didn't exist unless money was involved she let her sister run her her sister is three years younger then her My wife is 28 about 29 and i'm 22. Well i got new orders down to VA and she was happy but didn't want to leave until after the baby was born I was like okay but I have to report before the baby is due and she was like that's okay as long as your here for the birth which I was our house was not due to be ready until the 5th of the month following while she was recovering from the c-section she decieded to come down earlier then the doctor's told her. Well i got the keys to the house and the movers came and moved our stuff the same day she decides to fly down with the newborn the day she gets down there she is already cuzzing me out and calling back to her family taking about how much of a piece of crap she is so I started talking to friends for help and I told one of my female friends that I loved her for the advice that she was giving me well my wife hacked my account and logged in and saw that and decieded to slap me and take the baby and run to a friends house. We have had these issues over the past year I stopped talking to my friend and asked her to stop talking crap about me but she won't so finally I said it's done I want a divorce this was a week and a half before I'm to deploy so I went and stayed with a friend female but nothing happened because of her medical condition but she goes to my command accussing me of sleeping with this women and gets me in trouble this is 4 days before I leave to go to the warzone. Then out of the blue some women emails her saying that I slept with her and now have a child by her so she is trying to get me kicked out of the military. I have never physically cheated on my wife but she take me saying I love some one as cheating. Can someone help me please I need someone to talk to she is driving me crazy ontop of that i'm paying her over 1500 dollars in support does that make sense.


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## SoxMunkey (Jan 1, 2010)

I was once in the Military back in the '90's. It seems as if things will never change when it comes to women finding a guy that they can latch onto, get pregnant, and then run off with the child and have the service member pay an arm and a leg.

Either way, the military is going to want for you to pay for your responsibilities. As you should! My sincere advice to you is to go to Legal and speak to someone. If you are being true to your wife, then everything should be fine. But if you have been unfaithful, then I strongly suggest that you keep your mouth shut. Adultery is against the UCMJ and you can be discharged over it. Then again, this might be a situation in where you could have been set up also. 

The key for you is to be smart. Heading over to Legal is your best bet. If you are strongly seeking a divorce, then have Legal process it. It's a hell of a lot cheaper! Get ready to pay some child support though. Handle your responsibility and make sure that you have some visitation for your child. That too is VERY important.


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## Bradford16 (May 31, 2010)

Thank you. Well I will be heading over to legal in a couple of days her friends are telling her all these things to do to me. I just don't understand it why women have to act this way I mean i was distant from her because of the military she wanted me to choose between the military and her and I'm sorry but I choose the military long before I choose her and then untop of that she did not have a job so I was like okay since i work like 12 hours a day your job is to cook clean and take care of the baby and i will help when I'm not tired and about to fall out. Well she couldn't keep a house clean worth nothing


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## wl8149 (Jun 10, 2010)

First and foremost I am sorry for your situation but coming from a womens point of view married to a man in the miltary I say go to legal yesterday! The military is family, they are there to help you through bullsh*t like this. I feel sorry for you. Your young yet and you have someone from the sounds of it that suckered you in, got pregnant so you would marry her and now is fighting for everything plus some from you. Including trying to ruin your military career before its even started. I have been with my husband 13 yrs, married almost 11. I am 34 he is 38. He did 9 months in Kuwait and although we are seperated now and he is still in I would NEVER do anything that mean to destroy his life. He is an E7 in the Navy Seabees. We lost the passion and I decided to end it on good terms. We have 2 children together and we are very civil with one another for their sake. I gave him the house and asked for less than what the courts ordered for support because everyone needs to be able to live. Whatever I took from the house I was happy with. We have been seperated almost 8 months, are doing ok with everything, waiting on divorce to be finalized and we are both currently dating other people. He lives in South Carolina where we owned a home and I moved back to PA with the kids to be closer to my family to help me get started on my own being a single mom. I drive 6 hrs which is the half way point once a month for him to have a weekend with his kids, he gets every holiday and 6 wks in the summer. Him seeing his kids is very important to us. They need their father and although we are not together I will NEVER take them away from him. Life is too short to be that cruel to anyone. Just remember what goes around comes around. But always remember to be there for your child, if you pay support see him or her as often as you can. Its hard in the military as I know but when you have down time make that the 1st thing you do, and always call to ask how they are doing, is their anything new you should know about and keep records of everything. If she hangs up on you or refuses to tell you anything, write it down. You will be surprised at how is comes in handy later. Good luck and if you need to talk message me.


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