# Advice on Cunnilingus



## CN2622

How did you learn what to do when you never did it before? I am not trying to be gross or creepy by asking this and I am not asking for step by step instructions. My wife has asked me to try it and I was a little intimidated and maybe said it was something that seems gross to me. I realize that was wrong of me to say but I do also feel intimidated by it.

Again I am not looking for detailed personal stories or anything inappropriate just some appropriate advice and wisdom from anyone who thinks they can help.


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## CN2622

Also, please feel free to private message me as this is a little intimidating for me to post on a public forum.


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## Diceplayer

Check out the book, She Comes First by Ian Kerner.


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## Married but Happy

Google "how to perform cunnilingus." You'll find an overwhelming amount of info.

And the BEST book I've found on the subject is:
*Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm*
by Kim Cattrall and Mark Levinson

Kim Cattrall was Samantha in Sex in the City.


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## CN2622

I have googled and I know it sounds silly but I just never find some of that stuff helpful. Like yeah I understand the basic idea. I guess what I am asking is is it normal to be confused by it and maybe a little intimidated? I’m not trying to be a jerk and I know I hurt my wife’s feelings but am I the only one who is slightly a little confused by it or all men super into it and I’m an outlier.


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## Rus47

CN2622 said:


> How did you learn what to do when you never did it before? I am not trying to be gross or creepy by asking this and I am not asking for step by step instructions. My wife has asked me to try it and I was a little intimidated and maybe said it was something that seems gross to me. I realize that was wrong of me to say but I do also feel intimidated by it.
> 
> Again I am not looking for detailed personal stories or anything inappropriate just some appropriate advice and wisdom from anyone who thinks they can help.


Book "She Cums First". Practice practice practice. Your wife will direct you. Absolutely nothing "Gross" about it, there are wives think that way or think their husbands feel that way and forgo an enjoyable part of married life.


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## Married but Happy

You can only truly learn by doing, and adjusting with feedback. Now, if you have an aversion to doing it, then it will be hard to become good; first, try to change your mindset on this. It's not rocket science, and it's not magic - but could be magic for her!


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## Rus47

CN2622 said:


> I have googled and I know it sounds silly but I just never find some of that stuff helpful. Like yeah I understand the basic idea. I guess what I am asking is is it normal to be confused by it and maybe a little intimidated? I’m not trying to be a jerk and I know I hurt my wife’s feelings but am I the only one who is slightly a little confused by it or all men super into it and I’m an outlier.


Most have familiarity by about age 18. But never too late to learn "new" tricks. You need to apologize to your wife for reacting the way you did.


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## Rus47

Rus47 said:


> Most have familiarity by about age 18. But never too late to learn "new" tricks. You need to apologize to your wife for reacting the way you did.


Incorporating this into your intimate routine will realy enhance your relationship, you will get way more than you give. Not sure how long you have been married, but another (old) book you should read with your wife is "Joy of Sex". Fireworks!


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## CharlieParker

All women are different, so these will be generalizations.

I assume you've seen it in porn, don't do that. She Comes First is a good read but his technique is not a checklist to her bliss. At first less is more. Pay attention to non verbal clues.

My wife was not a fan for many years, it was ok as the PiV was great. Later in life, when PIV became less reliable, the expanded repertoire became invaluable.


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## Girl_power

Watch porn.


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## Girl_power

CN2622 said:


> I have googled and I know it sounds silly but I just never find some of that stuff helpful. Like yeah I understand the basic idea. I guess what I am asking is is it normal to be confused by it and maybe a little intimidated? I’m not trying to be a jerk and I know I hurt my wife’s feelings but am I the only one who is slightly a little confused by it or all men super into it and I’m an outlier.


Do your saying you don’t like doing it?


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## No Longer Lonely Husband

Just do it! Practice makes perfect.


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## dubsey

Just listen to her. Pay attention. How she breathes, how she shifts her hips, arches her back, movers her hands on you. Focus on the rest of her, and whatever you're doing will kind of take care of itself.

Also, kiss all around too, don't just dive in cold.


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## DownButNotOut

A comedian (I forget who) had a bit in his routine talking about it. He got advice that if he was lost on what to do down there, just start spelling the alphabet with your tongue. His girlfriend would moan "oh, you're amazing" and all he thought was "I'm just down here singing a, b, c, d, e, f, g....."


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## TheGoodFather

The animalistic tendency in me drove me to do it. I did it because I wanted to. Don't worry, you'll know if she is enjoying it. If not, she'll let you know and guide you to the moves and touch she enjoy. Just keep the line of communication between the two of you open.


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## CN2622

I mean I definitely know what it is. I’m not saying I don’t know. I just feel intimidated


Girl_power said:


> Watch porn.





CN2622 said:


> Also, please feel free to private message me as this is a little intimidating for me to post on a public forum.


any guys specificity. I would really like another guys opinion.


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## Deejo

Not for anything, but being the parent of an autistic young adult, I take almost no multi-faceted act for granted. To most folks I imagine this act seems extraordinarily straightforward. As I imagine you aren't the only one with questions, here is some low hanging considerations:
Executive Function - "a set of cognitive processes and mental skills that help an individual plan, monitor, and successfully execute their goals." 

The goal is to give your wife or partner an orgasm by utilizing your bucchal cavity and glossus muscles.

Monitoring your own biofeedback in terms of what you are doing and how you are doing it. Being able to measure her biofeedback in response to what you are doing, and most importantly, having a game plan. Communicating with one another in detail before, during and after. Do you know your way around her infield? Know where she is sensitive and you go slow, versus where you exert pressure and speed? Etc. 

There is a lot to be said for 'practice makes perfect', but presuming the only one you are practicing with is your wife, and she isn't thrilled with the skill set you already possess, or is concerned about where you are at mentally with the act; that can certainly impact her desire to practice. 


In my sexual experience, the best way you can use your tongue on your partner is to do so in the formation of words, discussing desires, goals and outcomes, before anyone goes yodeling in the canyon.


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## Hiner112

I read Joy of Sex and there was an article or two in my dad's Playboy collection that I read. I was able to identify where the clitoris was but it took practice to keep my teeth covered and direction to know how hard, how fast, and how much suction to use.

If you're enthusiastic and receptive to direction, you'll be fine. Even as imperfect as my technique was my first time she had an orgasm (your mileage may vary though, as much because of you as for her).


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## CN2622

My wife has some body image issues so I know it was a big step for her to ask. I admit some of my reaction is due to not knowing what to do but also concerns over bodily fluids.


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## hairyhead

I hope this is not TMI or explicit.

In my experience (32 years of marriage and previous relationships) which includes of 2 way oral sex variety is the key. By that I mean variety in position, tongue movement, tongue pressure, finger inclusion and time of month.

Keep your tongue moving but avoid too much repetitive movement. Don't concentrate on her clit but make sure you move up and down. The gap between ***** and anus is very sensitive. Change between licking and sucking and sucking & licking (on her clit and on her lips). Start light then increase the pressure then change it. All the changes should be random - keep her guessing as to what comes next.

Bring your fingers into play using them to supplement licking/sucking as well as insertion. If you can, when inserting, curl your fingers upwards and find the sensitive spot on her front wall (G spot). However avoid too much repetitive finger thrusting - keep her guessing. Test to see is she is receptive to touching her anus. It is very sensitive. No need for insertion just gentle touching/tickling especially if her juices have lubed that area.

Be patient. It may take her time to orgasm but when she does it should be cracker. Keep licking and playing right through the orgasm but be aware that afterwards she will be ultra sensitive and may push you away. At that point back off until she recovers and then, perhaps, test to see if she is receptive for more.

As for position there are several which we have found work. With her on her back you simply lie on your front between her legs and your head at her *****. This is good for ease of access and fingers. I found as I got older this position put more strain on my neck. 

We then experimented with me kneeling (knees hear her shoulders) and her on her back. This is almost a 69 except I am to the side. This also works well for finger play too.

With her on her knees (doggy position) she can be licked from behind. No so good for clit stimulation but good for her ***** and the area between ***** and anus. Also good for rimming if that is her thing.

Lastly you lie on your back and she sits on your face. This is best in bed with your head at the of the bed. She can then hang on to the headboard. She can rise and drop according to how much pressure she wants.

Some positions lend themselves more to her using her fingers on her clit whilst you lick elsewhere.

Finally the best piece of advice I can give is that you communicate. Ask what she likes and do that a little more (but remember the variety) and get her to direct you before and during the act.

Personally I prefer it when she has not showered immediately before as the smell and taste are a huge (and natural) turn on. Nothing worse that an overly soapy *****.


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## Laurentium

CN2622 said:


> I know I hurt my wife’s feelings


Also worth googling articles on what makes a good apology. That's as important a skill as good head.


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## Enigma32

Here's what you need to do. Go on your favorite porn website and type in the search bar, "how to eat p***y." There is a video of an older blonde female porn star giving a step by step tutorial on how most things you're gonna need to know. That woman knows what she is about. Start with what she says to do and then just adjust your technique based on your wife's feedback.


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## TurnedTurtle

Part of your intimidation may be because it is an extremely intimate act, to me much more so than PiV. I mean sticking your face in there, getting up close and personal with your partner's genitalia, literally pushing her buttons (and really being able to see what you are doing) -- holy cow, it is _powerful_! But don't let that scare you -- allow it to empower you, because it is all good, really really good.


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## CN2622

Has anyone ever dealt with a self conscious partner and this act?


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## ccpowerslave

The come as you are book has great written descriptions. Important thing is to have Mrs. CN direct the speed, pressure, etc... The book explains a lot of this.

As a neophyte I probably wouldn’t recommend going right to penetrating with fingers at the same time. I think in the back there are beginner “routines” to follow and if I remember right the first one doesn’t involve manual penetration.

My wife no longer wants me to go down on her which is a shame. The fluids part I wouldn’t worry about at all, personally I love it and it would be great for me if she wanted it, oh well! I say dive in there and have fun.


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## CN2622

Thanks. We purchased the book last night. I just feel bad because I guess when I started posting on here I was unintentionally blaming my wife for her body image issues being our only issues. I guess I never realized I had some things I need to address also. I feel lost still and feel like there is so much I don’t know which is embarrassing for me to admit as a man


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## ccpowerslave

CN2622 said:


> Thanks. We purchased the book last night. I just feel bad because I guess when I started posting on here I was unintentionally blaming my wife for her body image issues being our only issues. I guess I never realized I had some things I need to address also. I feel lost still and feel like there is so much I don’t know which is embarrassing for me to admit as a man


Look on the bright side. Mrs. CN wants to try things with you and I have to agree with many others here that giving and receiving oral sex is quite intimate and I’m just guessing but for the woman in this case it shows a lot of trust and confidence in you.

So you should embrace that and feel lucky!


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## CN2622

I guess that is a positive way to look at it. We are still struggling with the body image issues and I realize that maybe I have my own issues to deal with that I never realized.


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## Rus47

CN2622 said:


> I guess that is a positive way to look at it. We are still struggling with the body image issues and I realize that maybe I have my own issues to deal with that I never realized.


Be glad you are taking some action, that you and your wife are working these issues together. I sincerely hope you have made things right with your wife regarding how you responded to her telling you what she wanted you to try. 

There are so many threads on here where one or the other partner becomes frustrated because their spouse is unresponsive and eventually seeks fulfillment of their desires elsewhere. There are a world full of others more than willing to fill those needs.


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## Torninhalf

ccpowerslave said:


> The come as you are book has great written descriptions. Important thing is to have Mrs. CN direct the speed, pressure, etc... The book explains a lot of this.
> 
> As a neophyte I probably wouldn’t recommend going right to penetrating with fingers at the same time. I think in the back there are beginner “routines” to follow and if I remember right the first one doesn’t involve manual penetration.
> 
> My wife no longer wants me to go down on her which is a shame. The fluids part I wouldn’t worry about at all, personally I love it and it would be great for me if she wanted it, oh well! I say dive in there and have fun.


How come your wife no longer wants that?


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## ccpowerslave

Torninhalf said:


> How come your wife no longer wants that?


She is super hung up on body fluids. To be honest I don’t really know why or when she really clicked over. The last time she was receiving regularly was probably 15 years ago.

Over time she has changed her entire sleepwear situation because she sweats at night.

I suspect some of it is because she thinks she is unclean or something but nothing could be farther from the truth. She knows I love giving it but she just isn’t into it 🤷‍♂️

When I confronted her with the initial talk it came up that some of her sexual brakes were things that seemed insane to me as I explained in my story thread. I can say that taking her seriously about those brakes and avoiding pressing the pedal has yielded results for us, so I’m going with the don’t question what’s working plan.


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## BigDaddyNY

CN2622 said:


> Has anyone ever dealt with a self conscious partner and this act?


My wife was self conscious about it early in our relationship, but over time you get more comfortable with each other and the act becomes more pleasurable. Eventually the pleasure easily overcomes the self consciousness, in my experience.

A pretty goof resource IMO... https://badgirlsbible.com/how-to-eat-pu55y

Replace those 55's with ss, filter not liking that link


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## Lila

Enigma32 said:


> Here's what you need to do. Go on your favorite porn website and type in the search bar, "how to eat p***y." There is a video of an older blonde female porn star giving a step by step tutorial on how most things you're gonna need to know. That woman knows what she is about. Start with what she says to do and then just adjust your technique based on your wife's feedback.


That's Nina Hartley and it's by far the best tutorial I've seen. 

OP, just imagine eating a juicy peach.


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## CatholicDad

Go ahead and read all the advice articles sure, but it ain’t rocket science. I’d tell men that if you don’t like it or can’t learn to... don’t get married.


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## Young at Heart

CN2622 said:


> My wife has some body image issues so I know it was a big step for her to ask. I admit some of my reaction is due to not knowing what to do but also concerns over bodily fluids.





CN2622 said:


> I have googled and I know it sounds silly but I just never find some of that stuff helpful. Like yeah I understand the basic idea. I guess what I am asking is is it normal to be confused by it and maybe a little intimidated? I’m not trying to be a jerk and I know I hurt my wife’s feelings but am I the only one who is slightly a little confused by it or all men super into it and I’m an outlier.


I am certain that you comment has not helped her body self image issues. So as others have said apologize. Tell her that you have thought about it and you want to try it. 

If that doesn't work when the two of you make love finger her and then bring your moisture covered fingers up to your lips, taste them and tell her how delicious she tastes. Or wet her breast or stomach with her juice and kiss her there telling her how delicious she tastes. After and not in bed tell her how you can't stop thinking of how delicious she tastes and how much you want to go down on her. Ask her if there is something you can do to make her feel more comfortable with allowing you that pleasure.

Since there are literally thousands of articles on the topic in the internet and various sex textbooks and magazine articles, just read a few hundred to spot the theme and variation. My particular recommendations would be the Sinclair Institute better sex video education series (soft to hard porn but used by many sex therapists). Another video you might enjoy would be by Nina Hartley teaches how to eat *****. If you can handle it most major sex stores (Good Vibrations, Babeland, etc) have periodic sex education seminars. I attended one on how to orally please a woman. What was interesting was that there were as many women in the audience as men. In fact there were two teachers to the course one was a lesbian woman and the other was a man. I actually learned more from the lesbian woman than the man instructor.

Good luck and be brave.


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## CN2622

Thanks this thread can be closed. Any guy who wants to give me advice can PM me.


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## Enigma32

Lila said:


> That's Nina Hartley and it's by far the best tutorial I've seen.
> 
> OP, just imagine eating a juicy peach.


Yeah. I watched that one years ago and put the knowledge to good use. I'm gonna have to stop giving away my secrets to other men though.


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## DudeInProgress

Go with the guidance you’ve received here (technical and otherwise) and just go do it. Learn, improve and do it again. Repeat

you’ve got more than enough here to get started. Stop thinking, go do.


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## Evinrude58

My experience:
Until I got divorced and was with a woman who:
I liked the smell and taste of (super important to me)...
She was always just bathed and very clean before sex. She was extremely thoughtful in that aspect. One of her many good qualities...
Who I was able to figure out what she wanted and she had crazy powerful orgasms from it..
And who I loved so much I just wanted her happiness...............
I didn’t like giving it much.
With this woman, I enjoyed giving that very much.

Read up on it. I did. Some women like gentle stimulation, some more vigorous. If you listen and feel her movements, you can tell what speed she likes and stay there. Don’t question her during, if they get distracted it ruins it for them. Ask her how she likes it and where, a long time after.......If they get worked up, don’t change anything! Stay with it In the same spot and same speed until you get her satisfied.

And remember that it may very well not be your technique that is causing her not to orgasm, it could be HER! I really think if you give your best effort and look forward to learning exactly what she likes, one day you’ll be the best at it for HER, and that will be very satisfying.

if she doesn’t smell good to you.....she’s out of luck and so are you.


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## Cletus

Lila said:


> That's Nina Hartley and it's by far the best tutorial I've seen.
> 
> OP, just imagine eating a juicy peach.


Ha! I can't eat peaches because of the fuzz. Makes my skin crawl. In this modern day and age, I think nectarine might be more appropriate anyway (wink wink, nudge nudge). 

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.


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## Torninhalf

Cletus said:


> Ha! I can't eat peaches because of the fuzz. Makes my skin crawl. In this modern day and age, I think nectarine might be more appropriate anyway (wink wink, nudge nudge).
> 
> Back to your regularly scheduled programming.


😂😂😂😂


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## 346745

Take you time. No need to rush.


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## Talker67

keep in mind that while cunnilingus technically is only done with the tongue, often you also use your fingers, and sometimes toys.

for example, you start off licking her on the inside, then slide in one or two fingers when she is wet, but continue to lick the outside at the same time. 

if you have a free hand, maybe roughly pinch her nipples as you do this. 

play it all by ear, if she starts heaving and moaning....that is what she likes!

I suppose you could watch some lesbian porn, and watch the details of what they do....


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## 346745

Take your time. Slower is better


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## Chaotic

I'm not going to get into the nuts and bolts of giving and receiving head, but I'm interested in all the books people are recommending on this thread. I'll throw in my own favorite all purpose sex manual: The Guide to Getting it On by Paul Joannides. Fantastic advice on all sorts of things (cunnilingus included) and written with a sense of fun. Worth a read.


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## DownByTheRiver

I say definitely focus on the clitoris, firm side to side and some vertical movements, not too slobbery because that ruins traction and gets unpleasant sometimes. That shouldn't be too unpleasant for you if you avoid the vagina with your mouth, not messy. Don't just hit it and quit it, like so many men do, as if they're running bases. If she's enjoying it and getting excited, keep doing it until she indicates that's enough.

A lot of guys think they're doing it right drowning themselves down there, but I just never thought that was the best way. If you get used to that basic maneuver, which is the best shot at getting her to orgasm, then you can explore more, but always remember the clitoris is the main nerve center on a woman for sexual pleasure. Don't be discouraged if she still doesn't orgasm because that just doesn't happen every time for women, and especially women who have not explored their own bodies to find out firsthand what works for them and what doesn't.

Try it a few times but if you hate doing it, don't. Most women understand. And if she hates BJs, she won't be doing those often either. It can be for special.


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## GC1234

Figure out where her clitoris is. Then go with your tongue, go fast, but don't put too much pressure on it. It should do the trick.


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## MILF's Man

hairyhead said:


> I hope this is not TMI or explicit.
> 
> In my experience (32 years of marriage and previous relationships) which includes of 2 way oral sex variety is the key. By that I mean variety in position, tongue movement, tongue pressure, finger inclusion and time of month.
> 
> Keep your tongue moving but avoid too much repetitive movement. Don't concentrate on her clit but make sure you move up and down. The gap between *** and anus is very sensitive. Change between licking and sucking and sucking & licking (on her clit and on her lips). Start light then increase the pressure then change it. All the changes should be random - keep her guessing as to what comes next.
> 
> Bring your fingers into play using them to supplement licking/sucking as well as insertion. If you can, when inserting, curl your fingers upwards and find the sensitive spot on her front wall (G spot). However avoid too much repetitive finger thrusting - keep her guessing. Test to see is she is receptive to touching her anus. It is very sensitive. No need for insertion just gentle touching/tickling especially if her juices have lubed that area.
> 
> Be patient. It may take her time to orgasm but when she does it should be cracker. Keep licking and playing right through the orgasm but be aware that afterwards she will be ultra sensitive and may push you away. At that point back off until she recovers and then, perhaps, test to see if she is receptive for more.
> 
> As for position there are several which we have found work. With her on her back you simply lie on your front between her legs and your head at her ***. This is good for ease of access and fingers. I found as I got older this position put more strain on my neck.
> 
> We then experimented with me kneeling (knees hear her shoulders) and her on her back. This is almost a 69 except I am to the side. This also works well for finger play too.
> 
> With her on her knees (doggy position) she can be licked from behind. No so good for clit stimulation but good for her *** and the area between *** and anus. Also good for rimming if that is her thing.
> 
> Lastly you lie on your back and she sits on your face. This is best in bed with your head at the of the bed. She can then hang on to the headboard. She can rise and drop according to how much pressure she wants.
> 
> Some positions lend themselves more to her using her fingers on her clit whilst you lick elsewhere.
> 
> Finally the best piece of advice I can give is that you communicate. Ask what she likes and do that a little more (but remember the variety) and get her to direct you before and during the act.
> 
> Personally I prefer it when she has not showered immediately before as the smell and taste are a huge (and natural) turn on. Nothing worse that an overly soapy ***.


Not to say your advice is wrong for you or anyone else, but those techniques don't work on my wife at all.

I know that with my wife, she wants me to get at it almost immediately. Repetitive flicks if the tongue right on her c**t, and no fingers at all. Sometimes she'll move my head slightly, but often not. Then she needs VERY SOFT touches on her n*****s.

The bottom line is this: you need to figure out what works for you and your spouse. I feel very fortunate that my wife and or both took to this in a very enthusiastic manner very early in our relationship. It's one of my favorite bedroom activities; I may even enjoy it more than her, and she loves it.


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## MILF's Man

Longtime Hubby said:


> Take your time. Slower is better


Yes, if I do it right, I can make it last 25 minutes. She prefers me to get her there in 15 or 20 minutes. But I enjoy it so much, I want it to last. Trouble is, I usually get too enthusiastic and can't slow down long enough to draw it out.


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## Max.HeadRoom

good channel here


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## Mr.Married

Well all good and well and stuff but the first concerned look on your face and apprehension is enough to make her self conscious for a life time. I honestly feel bad for your wife and you need to figure out a way to apologize for that to relieve her possible anxiety you created.

If I told my wife I was never going to give her oral sex again she would likely punch me in the face. It’s a vital skill you should learn if she is wanting. Lay on your back and let her straddle your face. You will learn very quickly what she likes .... speed....pressure....etc etc. After a while of that she can lay down and steer you by the ears. When it feels like she is trying to reverse birth your face you know you got it right !


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## hairyhead

MILF's Man said:


> Not to say your advice is wrong for you or anyone else, but those techniques don't work on my wife at all.
> 
> I know that with my wife, she wants me to get at it almost immediately. Repetitive flicks if the tongue right on her c**t, and no fingers at all. Sometimes she'll move my head slightly, but often not. Then she needs VERY SOFT touches on her n*****s.
> 
> The bottom line is this: you need to figure out what works for you and your spouse. I feel very fortunate that my wife and or both took to this in a very enthusiastic manner very early in our relationship. It's one of my favorite bedroom activities; I may even enjoy it more than her, and she loves it.


I'm working with a bigger sample set 

Sent from my CPH2159 using Tapatalk


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## MILF's Man

hairyhead said:


> I'm working with a bigger sample set
> 
> Sent from my CPH2159 using Tapatalk


Both my wife and have only had one partner, ever. Her life long monogamy is a huge turn on to me. I love to hear her answer when I ask how many men she's been with. She's such a sweet girl, she's a man that has only been in her, and it thrills her, too.


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## MILF's Man

Mr.Married said:


> Well all good and well and stuff but the first concerned look on your face and apprehension is enough to make her self conscious for a life time. I honestly feel bad for your wife and you need to figure out a way to apologize for that to relieve her possible anxiety you created.
> 
> If I told my wife I was never going to give her oral sex again she would likely punch me in the face. It’s a vital skill you should learn if she is wanting. Lay on your back and let her straddle your face. You will learn very quickly what she likes .... speed....pressure....etc etc. After a while of that she can lay down and steer you by the ears. When it feels like she is trying to reverse birth your face you know you got it right !


You're wife is very fortunate. A good man pleases his wife.


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## hairyhead

MILF's Man said:


> Both my wife and have only had one partner, ever. Her life long monogamy is a huge turn on to me. I love to hear her answer when I ask how many men she's been with. She's such a sweet girl, she's a man that has only been in her, and it thrills her, too.


That's great.

I have much more experience than my wife and I'm the only one she has had PIV sex with. She did mess around on other stuff but swears I am her best diver.

Sent from my CPH2159 using Tapatalk


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## Hoosier

As a man who was married for 30 years to a woman who would not let him do oral, let me tell you..... Do Not be afraid! when I divorced I realized that I would need to up my game. I googled Oral Sex and watched a number of videos. Found a lot of good ones, some not so good, but some I could learn from. 
Now married to a woman who this is her favorite and most reliable (for orgasm) activitiy. She loves it I do too. She smells wonderful to me, tastes great. Just remember to do up and down AND side to side mix it up. Best thing you can do is practice, practice, practice.


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## romantic_dreamer

Oral sex is absolute part of our sex routine, we never had sex without oral. My wife needs it to get fully aroused for the PIV and I enjoy it too a lot. 

It took us some time for both of us to learn the technique that provides her maximum pleasure. She is the only woman I have been with so I cannot speak if my wife is unique or not. I have guts feeling that every woman is different and any technique needs to be adjusted for her.

First, my wife keeps her legs tied closely to each other even when she masturbates. She literally squeezes my head very tired. Women in most porn I saw have their legs wide open. Not sure it is porn or common in real life. I would prefer her to have her legs open so I can enjoy the view but this is who she is.

Second, my wife wants maximum pressure immediately, no soft touches, playing with her lips, clit, etc. It takes me maximum 2 min to bring her almost to orgasm. However, just before the orgasm she always asks me to move to stimulating her with my hand after oral so she orgasms very wildly from my hand.


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## WandaJ

#29 Squirting Orgasms, Getting Turned On & Real Foreplay - Jason Julius


Jason Julius is a world renowned female ejaculation orgasm expert. We talk about how to pleasure her G Spot, make her squirt and what foreplay women want.




badgirlsbible.com


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## Talker67

Enigma32 said:


> Here's what you need to do. Go on your favorite porn website and type in the search bar, "how to eat p***y." There is a video of an older blonde female porn star giving a step by step tutorial on how most things you're gonna need to know. That woman knows what she is about. Start with what she says to do and then just adjust your technique based on your wife's feedback.


i would suggest watching lesbian porn. first they are both women so they know what it feels like. 2nd, cunnilingus is more of a subtle art, than a wham bam thankyou ma'am thing, and women seem to have that vibe already.

if you are doing it right, with the tip of your tongue you can feel ridges forming on the roof of her vagina, as the blood engorges the area from your stimulation. also, as she orgasms, you might taste a coppery flavor, as she comes. Both are signs of success!

and do not be afraid of including your fingers or dildos/vibrators too. start off slow, but build up to whatever it takes for her to have an explosive orgasm!


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## OnTheFly

Adding to the greatest mysteries of this world (how old is the Sphinx, and what happened to Amelia Earhart) we can now add 'did the OP ever do....you know, the licky thing?


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## Talker67




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## 346745

Talker67 said:


> View attachment 78981


and you were hooked.


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## Divinely Favored

Talker67 said:


> View attachment 78981


And Big Daddy likes!


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

I do find this an interesting thread, humor and earnest all in one. And talking about a very human and hot topic.

I try to keep reading about just because one never knows where the next interesting tidbit bit may come from to try.

W and I have enjoyed for years. And she Os hard. Truthfully I'm well versed and extraordinarily successful knowing what she likes the best. I've done it on all women I've dated pre M, and women like different and same actions. Know your audience and pay attention is the best advice.

Knowing your audience includes knowing physiology here, don't neglect research if you're struggling. 

I do all the shaving for her so I always have the home field advantage 🙂🙂.


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## 346745

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> I do find this an interesting thread, humor and earnest all in one. And talking about a very human and hot topic.
> 
> I try to keep reading about just because one never knows where the next interesting tidbit bit may come from to try.
> 
> W and I have enjoyed for years. And she Os hard. Truthfully I'm well versed and extraordinarily successful knowing what she likes the best. I've done it on all women I've dated pre M, and women like different and same actions. Know your audience and pay attention is the best advice.
> 
> Knowing your audience includes knowing physiology here, don't neglect research if you're struggling.
> 
> I do all the shaving for her so I always have the home field advantage 🙂🙂.


big fan of the "slower is better" philosophy. Take one's time. No need to hurry.


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## Bulfrog1987

This has proved an interesting thread. My husband has always been terrible at oral. Terrible I tell you. He has no room for coaching. I should accept the way it's given and that's it. So I don't get oral sex and so be it. Suffering through is not something anyone should have to do for the sake of their partners ego. 

Slow and steady and don't take offense to mere suggestions to do something different, you don't have to immediately put everything into that tender space like it's a race.


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## BigDaddyNY

Bulfrog1987 said:


> This has proved an interesting thread. My husband has always been terrible at oral. Terrible I tell you. He has no room for coaching. I should accept the way it's given and that's it. So I don't get oral sex and so be it. Suffering through is not something anyone should have to do for the sake of their partners ego.
> 
> Slow and steady and don't take offense to mere suggestions to do something different, you don't have to immediately put everything into that tender space like it's a race.


I really wish my wife were willing to give advice. It sure would be a lot easier than reading her mind.


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## 346745

BigDaddyNY said:


> I really wish my wife were willing to give advice. It sure would be a lot easier than reading her mind.


I often ask. It does help


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## Chaotic

As a woman, it can feel really awkward to give pointers during the act. My bf makes a point of being enthusiastic about any advice I give and reinforcing that he WANTS advice, though, and that makes it easier for me.


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## Hiner112

My new GF has different preferences from my ex so there's been some guidance given. Before we did anything, I had said something like, "I know one way to do this very well but it might not be the right way for you. Let me know what I should do to make it better." or something like that.

"Softer, not slower" has been the most common.

I think I've done alright following directions though it has been somewhat difficult breaking 20 year old habits. The quickest way to make my ex come was to get her warmed up, suck her clit into my mouth, and run my tongue up and down hard and fast.

My current GF usually wants the tongue to be so light that I'm not pressing hard enough to tell reliably if I'm going over the clitoris or labia.


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## BigDaddyNY

Longtime Hubby said:


> I often ask. It does help


I do ask, but in the heat of the moment I'm not really thinking that way.


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## leftfield

Longtime Hubby said:


> I often ask. It does help


Not with everyone.


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## Bulfrog1987

Chaotic said:


> As a woman, it can feel really awkward to give pointers during the act. My bf makes a point of being enthusiastic about any advice I give and reinforcing that he WANTS advice, though, and that makes it easier for me.


Consider yourself blest girl. Don't ever take it for granted.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Are women really that hung up on this that they can't give clear verbal and physical directions to a H when H is doing oral on her?

I wonder what percentage of wives state they are just too uncomfortable to help by giving passionate instructions, yet fully expect the H to do all that she wants the exact way she wants it.


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## Bulfrog1987

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Are women really that hung up on this that they can't give clear verbal and physical directions to a H when H is doing oral on her?
> 
> I wonder what percentage of wives state they are just too uncomfortable to help by giving passionate instructions, yet fully expect the H to do all that she wants the exact way she wants it.


My husband can't take any direction at all. He gets super defensive and mad. It's so childish but it hurts his ego.

Another lover I once had on the flip side wanted to know exactly what I wanted, if this was too much pressure, ect. Asking if I was ok. He was amazing and not afraid to be lead. Therefor, in my case it was not being hung up on being clear or not, it was the the other party being receptive or not.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Bulfrog1987 said:


> My husband can't take any direction at all. He gets super defensive and mad. It's so childish but it hurts his ego.
> 
> Another lover I once had on the flip side wanted to know exactly what I wanted, if this was too much pressure, ect. Asking if I was ok. He was amazing and not afraid to be lead. Therefor, in my case it was not being hung up on being clear or not, it was the the other party being receptive or not.


H has got to mature, and other lover surely was an unimaginative dud. I get you, sometimes it's the guy. 
Same question, what percentage of guys dont take direction well, when it's passionately and earnestly given?


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## Bulfrog1987

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> H has got to mature, and other lover surely was an unimaginative dud. I get you, sometimes it's the guy.
> Same question, what percentage of guys dont take direction well, when it's passionately and earnestly given?


When exactly does that maturity thing kick in? My H is 56.


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## Chaotic

Ragnar Ragnasson said:


> Are women really that hung up on this that they can't give clear verbal and physical directions to a H when H is doing oral on her?


I personally know women who have never even given themselves an orgasm, much less given instructions to someone else. I've met women who can't correctly identify the parts of their own genitalia. It's a personal pet peeve of mine when women refer to everything down there collectively as "the vagina" but if I point out that besides the vagina, there's also the vulva and clitoris and labial lips, they look at me like I'm a crazy pervert.

I think some women are just a bit uncomfortable giving instructions when their man is giving head, and they can often get past that. But there's some women who for one reason or another are literally incapable of giving that instruction.


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## ccpowerslave

My wife never complained and has given me directions on manually stimulating her plenty of times. In kind I tell her what I want her to do when she’s giving me a BJ and she tries to achieve it. 😍


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## DownByTheRiver

Chaotic said:


> As a woman, it can feel really awkward to give pointers during the act. My bf makes a point of being enthusiastic about any advice I give and reinforcing that he WANTS advice, though, and that makes it easier for me.


I find it best to give advice in furtive one word outbursts.


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## Ragnar Ragnasson

Chaotic said:


> I personally know women who have never even given themselves an orgasm, much less given instructions to someone else. I've met women who can't correctly identify the parts of their own genitalia. It's a personal pet peeve of mine when women refer to everything down there collectively as "the vagina" but if I point out that besides the vagina, there's also the vulva and clitoris and labial lips, they look at me like I'm a crazy pervert.
> 
> I think some women are just a bit uncomfortable given instructions when their man is giving head, and they can often get past that. But there's some women who for one reason or another are literally incapable of giving that instruction.


And that's a reality, but sad.


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## LisaDiane

DownByTheRiver said:


> I find it best to give advice in furtive one word outbursts.


Lolol!!!! This is hysterical!!!


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## Chaotic

DownByTheRiver said:


> I find it best to give advice in furtive one word outbursts.


My guy knows that if he's doing a good job, one word outbursts will be all I can manage 😂


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## DownByTheRiver

Chaotic said:


> My guy knows that if he's doing a good job, one word outbursts will be all I can manage 😂


Exactly!


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## Spotthedeaddog

Rus47 said:


> Most have familiarity by about age 18. But never too late to learn "new" tricks. You need to apologize to your wife for reacting the way you did.


Hmmm advocating sexual contact for minors?

For most guys, especially those without sisters, such knowledge is hard to come by... even those with sisters don't usually get that close...


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