# Indecent Proposal



## thatbpguy

My wife and I were talking about the movie Indecent Proposal and I asked her that if a rich guy offered us $1 million for her to spend an entire night with him, what would her thoughts would be. She said she would accept (with my permission, of course). I have to say I was shocked. I told her I couldn’t believe what I hearing and she started back tracking, but still…

But that begs the question for those of you in relationships. Would you accept an offer for you, ladies, or for your wives, guys, like that? $1 million for one night. I mean, would you seriously consider it?


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## *LittleDeer*

No I'm not for sale. I wouldn't commodify myself nor give away the most intimate part of me for money.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mavash.

No.


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## Maricha75

Not a chance.


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## Coffee Amore

A very similar question was asked a few weeks ago on TAM by another poster. In that scenario, the offer was $10 million, you had to enjoy the sex, couldn't fake it or just lie there like a dead body, the other person was clean and in good shape.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...indecent-proposal-10-million-net-dollars.html


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## Coffee Amore

I think this is one of those questions for which if truly want an honest answer you need to create an anonymous poll.


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## happysnappy

Ummm yeah. As long as they were clean in all regards. I have kids to raise!


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## Machiavelli

thatbpguy said:


> My wife and I were talking about the movie Indecent Proposal and I asked her that if a rich guy offered us $1 million for her to spend an entire night with him, what would her thoughts would be. She said she would accept (with my permission, of course). I have to say I was shocked. I told her I couldn’t believe what I hearing and she started back tracking, but still…
> 
> But that begs the question for those of you in relationships. Would you accept an offer for you, ladies, or for your wives, guys, like that? $1 million for one night. I mean, would you seriously consider it?


Which lead us to the old joke:
A businessman asks a waitress, "Would you do me for $1 million?"
The waitress says, "Sure!"
The suit counters, "How about $3.99?"
The waitress gets mad and asks, "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
The businessman responds, "We've already established what kind of girl you are, now we're just negotiating the price."


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## that_girl

At this point in my marriage, or non-existant marriage, I totally would. Totally.


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## devastated3343

Lol, it's easy to say no on a message board. Stand in a room with $1,000,000. In $100 bills it would about fill a large microwave, but in stacks of 20's it would cover a large bedspread. 

When there's money on the table and the question has real stakes principles have a tendency to become flexible.

Now, my wife and I are divorcing, so I'd trade her to a rich dude for fifty bucks and a ride home. In fact, since I could never get a million for her, I'd take $20 fifty thousand times.

Jokes aside, if someone is actually in your kitchen with a table covered with enough money to really change your life, you'd be crazy not to do it. Hell, I'd push her down and do it myself. 'Do you want to make out for a while or jump right in? Am I the top or bottom?'


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## Maricha75

devastated3343 said:


> Lol, it's easy to say no on a message board. Stand in a room with $1,000,000. In $100 bills it would about fill a large microwave, but in stacks of 20's it would cover a large bedspread.
> 
> When there's money on the table and the question has real stakes principles have a tendency to become flexible.
> 
> Now, my wife and I are divorcing, so I'd trade her to a rich dude for fifty bucks and a ride home. In fact, since I could never get a million for her, I'd take $20 fifty thousand times.
> 
> Jokes aside, if someone is actually in your kitchen with a table covered with enough money to really change your life,* you'd be crazy not to do it.* Hell, I'd push her down and do it myself. 'Do you want to make out for a while or jump right in? Am I the top or bottom?'


Then call me crazy. Integrity is more important IMO.


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## thatbpguy

I guess I started this as I was so shocked at my wife. Her views on sex and mine are not quite the same. I just wanted to know if anyone else could possibly think the same way.


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## Machiavelli

thatbpguy said:


> I guess I started this as I was so shocked at my wife. Her views on sex and mine are not quite the same. I just wanted to know if anyone else could possibly think the same way.


Kinda makes you wonder what else you don't know, don't it?


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## Gaia

Again. Hell no. No amount of money can buy my loyalty or break it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## that_girl

Ha! I'd have sex for a million dollars. 

I had sex for 5 years with someone who said he loved me, but now tells me he lied the whole time.

So...whatevs.


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## Gaia

devastated3343 said:


> Lol, it's easy to say no on a message board. Stand in a room with $1,000,000. In $100 bills it would about fill a large microwave, but in stacks of 20's it would cover a large bedspread.
> 
> When there's money on the table and the question has real stakes principles have a tendency to become flexible.
> 
> Now, my wife and I are divorcing, so I'd trade her to a rich dude for fifty bucks and a ride home. In fact, since I could never get a million for her, I'd take $20 fifty thousand times.
> 
> Jokes aside, if someone is actually in your kitchen with a table covered with enough money to really change your life, you'd be crazy not to do it. Hell, I'd push her down and do it myself. 'Do you want to make out for a while or jump right in? Am I the top or bottom?'


Jokes aside... If this were the scenerio it would be just as easy to beat or off the guy, dispose of the body, and enjoy that money without spreading my legs. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbrad

For that amount of money, yes. I would be good with either my wife or myself being the one doing it. That would take care of the stress that is the debt we have and then help set us up for the future. Whether that would be together or separate. The impact that could have on changing the course of my life, definitely.


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## Entropy3000

Some of us are already rich beyond measure.
If I am willing to give my whole life to a woman ...
If she is more important than life is to me ... Why would I sell her to some other man for the coin he has? Cake eating does not work with this IMO ... at least for me.

Power Of Love

The rich men I have known have spent fortunes searching for a woman who loves them for who they are and not their money and they cannot seem to find them.

I find it sobering that other people have the love of their life and seek something as useless as money.
As the song goes ... You Can't Always Get What You Want ... but you get what you need. Feed your soul and your hearts and you will be truly free. 

If you think this is trite go ask those who have faced death and those that have been to the depths of loss and dispair and ask them about their regrets and what they value most of all. Yes, times are hard for many. But for most of us in Western society, we are richer than most of those who have ever taken a breath on this freaking planet. 

Sell my Lady? AYFKM. The Lady is mine. And I belong to her.

Pale Moonlight

Now I know this is often just a sexy fantasy thing some couples like to play with. The the list. You know, the list of people who one might have a free pass with. or a hall pass. So not trying to be the Dream Police.

But seriously. Somethings are more important than money. There are even some people who cannot be bought.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8HOfcYWZoo

Now truly if you are not with the love of your life ... I still think you trade your soul away for nothing.

:rofl:


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## Caribbean Man

Well if someone is willing to easily part with their million dollars , I have no problem in taking it from them.
Pay me a million dollars and I would tell you how to get a wife like mine or,
Pay me the million dollars I would get a woman who is willing to have sex with them ,or quite a few women who will.

However , my wife is non negotiable, and my fees are non refundable.


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## Machiavelli

Caribbean Man said:


> However , my wife is non negotiable, and *my fees are non refundable*.


Man, you are a dinosaur. I like it.


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## 41362

Um, no.

I believe that we both signed off on that 17 years ago.

Together we make a very decent living... which is good, because I might need bail money if that was ever proposed to my face


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## Thunder7

Satya said:


> $1M, $10M, no amount of money would be able to fix or justify the irreparable psychological and emotional damage such a thing would cause (to me and my SO). I only get one psyche, one life, sometimes only one chance with a person I care deeply about. I'd do everything in my power to not F it all up for a pile of dosh.


Psychological damage. If I remember the movie, the husband (Woody Harrelson) suffered the psychological damage in that scenario. My contention was he did it all wrong. More negotiation was needed. The price should have been $1M and $15,000, with the $15K in cash, up front. They were in Nevada, I think. So, while she was spending the night with the rich guy, the hubby should have been spending the $15K on all the sexual debauchery he could find. The next day, and from then on, no one speaks a word of it again. That way, no one could be jealous of what the other did. Just a thought.....


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## Acorn

I think you need to ask your wife what her thoughts would be if the hottie next door made the same offer to you.

I think it's definitely easier to be the one who has to have sex with someone else than be the one who has to basically watch as their lover has sex with someone else.


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## Chris Taylor

Sounds like I'm going to have to put my $1 million back in the bank


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## pb76no

Probably would not agree with my wife doing it, but I'd counter offer half off for my sister.


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## Haram

Lol..what a complex issue. Honestly, I think most of the ppl who said vehemently NO, would do it if it was for real and they could see the $$$$$ under their nose...
Would I do it? If I was single, without blinking. Sure, the definition of the thing is not a nice one, but hey, you only have one life. Hell sure I'd choose to have a luxurious, comfortable, stress-free life. 
Would I do it if I was comitted? Only if my significant other was 100% ok with it. I would not hurt my dear one for all the $ in the world. 
Would I let him do it? Yes, unless I sensed the slithest risk of losing him to that woman, or if she was more attractive than me. If I was sure that it would be just an ONS, simply sex and not feelings, I'd leave him the choice free. 
If someone would give me that $$ to cheat on my spouse, or to hand him over in exchange, hell no ! I find love more important than $, but in certain situation I would compromise. $$ don't bring happiness, but it contributes to it.
My honest opinion.


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## Maricha75

Haram said:


> Lol..what a complex issue. Honestly, I think most of the ppl who said vehemently NO, would do it if it was for real and they could see the $$$$$ under their nose...


Why is it so hard to believe that there are actually people who truly wouldn't do it, for any amount of money. For some people, they would rather live in virtual poverty than betray the vows they took. For some people, they have seen what infidelity has done and they choose NOT to do something like this because they know it hurts the spouse. Sure, there may be a few who would do it, even if they say they wouldn't. But those of us who discussed this bs with our spouses, and agreed "no way in hell" would actually stick by it... money on the table or not. My husband, my marriage, is far more important to me than a few dollars. Yes, I am aware, $1M is a lot of money. I'd rather have my husband and very little money.


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## Malcolm38

At this point in my life, I'd let her for a movie pass and some popcorn.


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## Caribbean Man

Machiavelli said:


> Man, you are a dinosaur. I like it.


Yep.....

_I survived the ice age!_


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## weightlifter

Lol the referenced thread was mine. It was designed with more money... A million ain't what it used to be so I did 10 million... Net after taxes. Then I factored out hygiene and looks. Ie the person is disease free and smells ok. Then I factored out random things I had seen in Radom threads in random places.

You had to actually take part in the night. You would copulate twice with lots of wet intimate kissing and touching before between and after. This was based some response I saw a woman say she would just lay there legs open and wait for him to finish...

Anyway I suspect the real number would be higher given how many people cheat for free and the obviously pro exclusivity population of this board. 

I did another question on cheating. Some disliked my terms so let me retry. Say you put 100 women in a bar and they had to be there all week. You put in that same bar 100 not famous non rich but grade A players. All three types of players. 1. Bad boy. 2. Great looker. 3. Emotional listener ( of the wife complaining about how husband is lacking wherever). Each player gets 1000 dollars per woman he gets to cheat. By the end of the week how many women will have cheated? Estimates ranged to half. Depressing.


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## Gaia

Haram said:


> Lol..what a complex issue. Honestly, I think most of the ppl who said vehemently NO, would do it if it was for real and they could see the $$$$$ under their nose...
> Would I do it? If I was single, without blinking. Sure, the definition of the thing is not a nice one, but hey, you only have one life. Hell sure I'd choose to have a luxurious, comfortable, stress-free life.
> Would I do it if I was comitted? Only if my significant other was 100% ok with it. I would not hurt my dear one for all the $ in the world.
> Would I let him do it? Yes, unless I sensed the slithest risk of losing him to that woman, or if she was more attractive than me. If I was sure that it would be just an ONS, simply sex and not feelings, I'd leave him the choice free.
> If someone would give me that $$ to cheat on my spouse, or to hand him over in exchange, hell no ! I find love more important than $, but in certain situation I would compromise. $$ don't bring happiness, but it contributes to it.
> My honest opinion.


In my opinion... This whole scenerio is exactly that. Someone paying to have your spouse or you cheat.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JCD

Machiavelli said:


> Kinda makes you wonder what else you don't know, don't it?


Stop!

At least she is holding out for top dollar.

OP, I set my price at 2 million. My wife goes back and forth.


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## JCD

Gaia said:


> Jokes aside... If this were the scenerio it would be just as easy to beat or off the guy, dispose of the body, and enjoy that money without spreading my legs.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So you'd be a murderess, but not a *****.


Okay.


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## JCD

Malcolm38 said:


> At this point in my life, I'd let her for a movie pass and some popcorn.


Have you seen ticket prices these days? The million wouldn't buy much of that...


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## Gaia

JCD said:


> So you'd be a murderess, but not a *****.
> 
> 
> Okay.


I said it would be just as easy to beat or kill for the money as it would be to fvck for it. I didnt say I would go that route. Frankly if someone has the gulls to show such blatant disrespect imo then yes I would rather be a "murderess" as you call it. It would be no different from wolves killing each other over a carcass. To the victor go the spoils. 

I personally would say hell fvcking no to the offer. I am one of those people who is content with having enough for what I need in life and that can be obtained without tossing aside my pride and self respect.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gaia

Oh and hell no to my spouse doing something like this as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sinnister

Aw man! What happened to the 10 Mil?

1 Mil goes quick. Mortgage and my cars, get the kids school squared away and I have what? A third left if I'm lucky.

Not worth it.

And oh ya there's that sharing your wife thing too that's kinda gross.

But for 10 Mil.....I don't know.


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## sinnister

weightlifter said:


> Lol the referenced thread was mine. It was designed with more money... A million ain't what it used to be so I did 10 million... Net after taxes. Then I factored out hygiene and looks. Ie the person is disease free and smells ok. Then I factored out random things I had seen in Radom threads in random places.
> 
> You had to actually take part in the night. You would copulate twice with lots of wet intimate kissing and touching before between and after. This was based some response I saw a woman say she would just lay there legs open and wait for him to finish...
> 
> Anyway I suspect the real number would be higher given how many people cheat for free and the obviously pro exclusivity population of this board.
> 
> I did another question on cheating. Some disliked my terms so let me retry. Say you put 100 women in a bar and they had to be there all week. You put in that same bar 100 not famous non rich but grade A players. All three types of players. 1. Bad boy. 2. Great looker. 3. Emotional listener ( of the wife complaining about how husband is lacking wherever). Each player gets 1000 dollars per woman he gets to cheat. By the end of the week how many women will have cheated? Estimates ranged to half. Depressing.


Considering the women are in a bar I'd say 90%. There's just no reason to be there when you're married. Then you factor in the "bad boy" routine. Game over.


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## RClawson

My wife would still sleep with Robert Redford for free.


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## weightlifter

sinnister said:


> Considering the women are in a bar I'd say 90%. There's just no reason to be there when you're married. Then you factor in the "bad boy" routine. Game over.


Clarify. You take 100 AVERAGE women and put them in a bar. I dunno say they all are in a convention or something. These women have no higher nor lower proclivities for hanging in bars. In my original thread they were "contestants" doing something in a reality series. They were in fact bait not the actual contestants. The actual contestants were the players.

I know a RL guy player so good looking even I can tell he is good looking. You have to be wayyyy out of the norm for me to be able to tell. I have seen 9's (on the 10 scale COME TO HIM and be shot down. Yes really)

I roomed with a RL bad boy. His draw was amazing. He was also good ammo for stories I have about him.

Never knew an emotional player (like that thread here a month-ish ago where a player confesses about how he targets married women)

Anyway a room with 100 random women and say 33 each of each type of player... Methinks the number would be depressing.

I'm sure the opposite scenario is equally depressing. 100 men in a bar and 100 women who get a $1000 bounty for every one they get to cheat.

Anyone know the source of that 50% real world cheat statistic. I had previously heard 20% women 25% men.


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## Gaia

sinnister said:


> Aw man! What happened to the 10 Mil?
> 
> 1 Mil goes quick. Mortgage and my cars, get the kids school squared away and I have what? A third left if I'm lucky.
> 
> Not worth it.
> 
> And oh ya there's that sharing your wife thing too that's kinda gross.
> 
> But for 10 Mil.....I don't know.


:rofl:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## youkiddingme

Funny how we are. The answer for the most part is a strong NO. When it is likely that many have given it away for nothing....nothing at all. So which is worse? For pay or for free? I don't know...just asking.


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## SadSamIAm

If I sold all I have, I would have more than a couple of million dollars. Not real happily married or happy now. So I don't see how any more millions would make things any better. Can only think of how it would make things worse. No for me.

But if you asked my wife, I could see her saying yes and then leaving after she had the cash.


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## SimplyAmorous

Was another thread just like this one in the Sex section a month ago >>







http://talkaboutmarriage.com/genera...indecent-proposal-10-million-net-dollars.html









I'll re post my answer >>>



> I want to give you my husband's take on this... I asked him this question the other night...His 1st response was..."That's A LOT of $$"...... meaning he feels MANY WOULD DO THIS, regardless of what they say (as we know it's one thing we can count on never happening anyway)....
> 
> Then he brought up the* Physical risk*....THIS is what would stop him more than anything else...
> 
> Not morals or values, but the RISK this man, once he had you....could rape the wife, tear her up- for such a price.. who knows what could go on behind closed doors... If he agreed, that would be the longest dreadfully worrisome night in his life & he would b2 2nd guessing from the moment I stepped away with the man.
> 
> I think the OP asked, what if the husband had to watch, this c0ckholding thing...... his response to that was...IF the Rich man wants the husband to watch....he is going to TAUNT him, to say ..."Look what I have, she is all mine"....he could again get ROUGH, humiliate her, rape her....this could lead to a horrible confrontation, a FIGHT...but he agreed to the PRICE.... so basically a FIGHT would nullify the agreement ........ and they'd end up with nothing!
> 
> SO the physical risk was his 1st concern, over the "romantic" loosing something we only shared together..
> 
> Like myself & Thundarr on here...if one of our children was gravely ill ~ we were facing not getting the BEST treatment to save his/her life...only this would allow us to consider such a Risk.
> 
> Life can be beautiful without a pile of $$.


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## janefw

thatbpguy said:


> My wife and I were talking about the movie Indecent Proposal and I asked her that if a rich guy offered us $1 million for her to spend an entire night with him, what would her thoughts would be. She said she would accept (with my permission, of course). I have to say I was shocked. I told her I couldn’t believe what I hearing and she started back tracking, but still…
> 
> But that begs the question for those of you in relationships. Would you accept an offer for you, ladies, or for your wives, guys, like that? $1 million for one night. I mean, would you seriously consider it?


We should call it what it is - prostitution. And I would always say not becoming a prostitute. Even for "just one night".


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## Mavash.

I'm quite comfortable financially and I'm married to the man of my dreams. 

I agree with sa if I needed money to pay for my kids life saving surgery then yes I'd do it otherwise no.


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## that_girl

Prostitution 

Woman get men to pay for TONS of shet when dating....and then have sex with them. Men buy flowers and candy and fancy dinners just to get laid. Men don't care about fancy dinners!

:lol:


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## COguy

For $10 million I'd let the guy screw ME all night. And enjoy it.

One of my favorite scenes from a movie:

1 Million Dollar Fantasy - Kingpin Roy Munson - YouTube


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## COguy

that_girl said:


> At this point in my marriage, or non-existant marriage, I totally would. Totally.


Whoa that was a shocker for me, I thought things were going well??

What kind of a$$hat would screw up your marriage? There's hundreds of guys on here that would kill to be your husband.

<sorry to hijack>


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## Maricha75

COguy said:


> Whoa that was a shocker for me, I thought things were going well??
> 
> What kind of a$$hat would screw up your marriage? There's hundreds of guys on here that would kill to be your husband.
> 
> <sorry to hijack>


You have a PM.


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## southern wife

that_girl said:


> Prostitution
> 
> Woman get men to pay for TONS of shet when dating....and then have sex with them. Men buy flowers and candy and fancy dinners just to get laid. Men don't care about fancy dinners!
> 
> :lol:


:lol: They don't care about the flowers or candy either. :rofl:


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## Maricha75

that_girl said:


> Prostitution
> 
> Woman get men to pay for TONS of shet when dating....and then have sex with them. Men buy flowers and candy and fancy dinners just to get laid. Men don't care about fancy dinners!
> 
> :lol:


Some women don't care about that stuff either. They'd prefer very little be spent on them. Not because the men are HOPING for sex by spending so much, but because those things really do nothing for them.


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## Anonymous07

I never would, as money isn't a huge thing for me and I am not for sale. 

The sad thing though, is that I think my husband would totally go for it. He has become fairly money obsessed lately and would make some excuse or another about why it's okay to do this.


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## Vrs

It's encouraging to hear from all the ladies who wouldn't be for sale at any price. In a world that makes sense character matters. When character no longer matters than the fall of a society or a culture is only a matter of time. Reckoning day isn't too far off. 

Here's a question for the guys who would support this - what if the girl being asked was your mother? Or your daughter? Does that change your perspective any? Would you still support it?

For the ladies who would support this. Here's a question. What if a man made the same proposal to your mother or your daughter? Is it still ok? If not, why is it ok for you? You're someone's daughter and possibly someones mom.


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## COguy

Vrs said:


> Here's a question for the guys who would support this - what if the girl being asked was your mother? Or your daughter? Does that change your perspective any? Would you still support it?


If it was my mom? I'd tell her to share the wealth! If it was my daughter, I would kill the guy.

Me, a spouse, or my mom are able to make our own decisions. Kids you always feel like you have to protect, no matter what the cost.


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## Vrs

COguy said:


> If it was my mom? I'd tell her to share the wealth!


Easy to say - but seriously? Your mom?


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## Coffee Amore

I asked my husband this question and of course he gave a joke response as I expected. "I think I'm good but I don't know if I'm worth $1 million dollars but who am I to deprive them of the experience." 

I'm with SA and Mavash. If I had a really sick family member who desperately needed money, I might consider such an indecent proposal. 

These things are fun to talk about because it's so far outside the realm of possibility. 



COguy said:


> For $10 million I'd let the guy screw ME all night. And enjoy it.
> 
> One of my favorite scenes from a movie:
> 
> 1 Million Dollar Fantasy - Kingpin Roy Munson - YouTube


:rofl:


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## kcait

Probably. And I sincerely love and adore my husband. But money like that could change our lives and sex is just sex imo.


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## COguy

Vrs said:


> Easy to say - but seriously? Your mom?


Hell yes! she's going to get wined, dined, and then have a night of sweet love making, then they're going to pay her $1 million dollars....

And she will never have to work again. We should be so lucky.


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## Gaia

I think this thread sort of spiraled out of whack a bit. Still hell no to my spouse or I doing it because of the cheating aspect. Thats how I would see it pertaining to my own relationship anyway. As far as my daughters.... Hell fvcking no because thier both farr to young. As far as my mother... I wouldnt give a damn. It would be a dream come true for her so whatever.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maricha75

Gaia said:


> I think this thread sort of spiraled out of whack a bit. Still hell no to my spouse or I doing it because of the cheating aspect. Thats how I would see it pertaining to my own relationship anyway. As far as my daughters.... Hell fvcking no because thier both farr to young. As far as my mother... I wouldnt give a damn. It would be a dream come true for her so whatever.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You know, I agree with this. To add to it, I would say that even if my daughter was of age, I hope we would have instilled in her how we feel about it: morally wrong. That said, once she is of age, she is responsible for her own choices, whatever they may be. She will be free to do whatever she chooses, whether we approve or not. 

As for mom, that's her choice as well. The only ones I need to worry about in such a situation are myself, my husband, and my children....and my children, as I stated, will be free to make their own decisions once they are of age.


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## lynn-23

I know this thread hasn't been commented on for a while, but wanted to throw in my two-cents worth. If I was made the offer, and the man wasn't totally disgusting or someone I hated, I would be willing to discuss it with my husband to see if it is something we could/should do. I don't at all find it unusual that there are some that would say "no way." The real twist for me would be if the offer came with the condition that I NOT tell my husband. I think that under those conditions it would be a different matter and I would probably decline.


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## BostonBruins32

In theory I would say yes. I'm not sure if my wife is capable of rebounding after this. IE, would she be mad that I was in favor of it? Would she find sex differently afterwards? etc etc

I'm not sure what our dynamic would be like, but I would lean towards yes.


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## richardsharpe

Good evening all
For most people $1M represents a solution to any financial problems they might have, and a life of substantially increased leisure.

Assuming no diseases, nothing really appalling or damaging, I'd take 1M to have sex with almost anyone. I someone offered this to my wife, it would be entirely her decision, but I would have no objections if she accepted. 

My objection to the movie is that the money was offered to the husband, not to the wife - which I think is completely inappropriate.


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## Marduk

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> For most people $1M represents a solution to any financial problems they might have, and a life of substantially increased leisure.
> 
> Assuming no diseases, nothing really appalling or damaging, I'd take 1M to have sex with almost anyone. I someone offered this to my wife, it would be entirely her decision, but I would have no objections if she accepted.


No way in hell.

"Money is a thing that will be there when asked for. A good man is not so easily found."
- Hagakure


----------



## GA HEART

Call me shallow, but I would do it. I am not married, but the live-in BF probably would call me crazy NOT to do it. If the roles were reversed, I would let him as well. It's just sex. Whatev.


----------



## ElCanario

that_girl said:


> At this point in my marriage, or non-existant marriage, I totally would. Totally.


That is exactly how I feel. Take half the million and split for other parts. And thank that rich pig for taking her off my hands for good.


----------



## ReformedHubby

I can't just sell my wife like that. I would only agree to if it I knew we were on our way to splitsville because of other factors.


----------



## FromEurope

my guess:

many will say yes, but the problem will be after..... one thing is for sure, IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
Every time you spend that money it would be a mind recorder of that night your wife had sex with OM


----------



## SadSamIAm

People think that having a million dollars will solve their issues. Not true. You will have new issues. Money can make some things easier, but it won't make you happy.


----------



## ElCanario

SadSamIAm said:


> People think that having a million dollars will solve their issues. Not true. You will have new issues. Money can make some things easier, but it won't make you happy.


Give me the option of not having a million dollars and being miserable, and having a million dollars and being miserable, I'm gonna take the million dollars. Every time.


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening all
I'd like to test the theory that money doesn't buy happiness. If someone would please send me a huge amount of money, I'll report on how it makes me feel.


----------



## SadSamIAm

ElCanario said:


> Give me the option of not having a million dollars and being miserable, and having a million dollars and being miserable, I'm gonna take the million dollars. Every time.


What about the option of not having a million dollars and being happy, and having a million dollars and being miserable.

Many a story about people that have won the lottery and a few months/years later, their life has fallen apart.


----------



## SadSamIAm

richardsharpe said:


> Good evening all
> I'd like to test the theory that money doesn't buy happiness. If someone would please send me a huge amount of money, I'll report on how it makes me feel.


You don't need to test. I did that for you. 

When my wife and I first met, we had nothing. Minimum wage paying jobs. A few years later, got married, had kids. Average paying jobs. Started a business, and had some success. Kids now pretty much grown up. We have plenty of money.

I can honestly say that as time went by, our happiness levels went down, while our money levels went up.


----------



## ElCanario

SadSamIAm said:


> What about the option of not having a million dollars and being happy, and having a million dollars and being miserable.


Well, I am miserable now and do not have a million dollars. So I would be quite willing to try life as a rich man. 



> Many a story about people that have won the lottery and a few months/years later, their life has fallen apart.


The way I see it, if your life falls apart after winning, you didn't plan or budget or just say "no" the right way. I win money, I guarantee you I'm holding on to it.


----------



## alte Dame

I would do it, but only if the man were Jamie Fraser.


----------



## SadSamIAm

I think that if you are happy in your marriage you shouldn't do this. Too much risk. Has the potential of making your marriage not so happy. Isn't worth that.

If you are not happy in your marriage, then maybe go for it. Might give you the means to leave the marriage and find happiness. But don't expect the million dollars to make your not so happy marriage happy.


----------



## ElCanario

SadSamIAm said:


> I think that if you are happy in your marriage you shouldn't do this. Too much risk. Has the potential of making your marriage not so happy. Isn't worth that.
> 
> If you are not happy in your marriage, then maybe go for it. Might give you the means to leave the marriage and find happiness. But don't expect the million dollars to make your not so happy marriage happy.


I've got no such pretensions. The million dollars would finance the divorce and allow for a clean break. It would make me happy because it would get me out of an intractably bad situation.


----------



## phoenix_

Any woman who says yes is a *****. Just by definition...


----------



## NoIinThreesome

My wife and I each had other partners before we met and, should one of us die prematurely, the surviving partner will have more partners.

If someone offered her a million dollars for one night, I would encourage her to take it. She currently makes $60k/year, it would be the equivalent of 16 years of work or 33,000 hours. Imagine that, you could have 33,000 hours to pursue whatever you wanted. Malcolm Gladwell says that we become an expert at something once we've spent 10,000 hours practicing the skill. 

She (and we) could travel, she could do pro bono medical work, she could learn a language or spend more time tutoring children. It would be a gift to her, to myself, and to those whose lives she touches.

And I would not think any less of her, nor would it upset our bond in the slightest.


----------



## Adelais

Nope. I'm not for sale.


----------



## EleGirl

phoenix_ said:


> Any woman who says yes is a *****. Just by definition...


She'll be a much more financially secure one at that. 


How many men would have sex with a good looking woman for $1,000,000? I'll bet that the number is pretty high.


----------



## EleGirl

The question is, would you do something that you would not normally do it lead to a better life for you and your family.

What if the woman was struggling raising a kid or two? Working long hours and not being able to spend the time she wants to with her children? What if the children needed medical care that she could not afford? Or what if it was a couple.. and the 1million could make a huge difference in their wellbeing.


----------



## NoIinThreesome

EleGirl said:


> The question is, would you do something that you would not normally do it lead to a better life for you and your family.


Of course, men and women do it all the time. We go to jobs we don't like, we make long tiring commutes, some of us travel 3-4 days a week, all so our families can have better lives.


----------



## cuchulain36

My wife seems so indifferent to sex I would consider this for free if it got her going. For one million it is a no-brainer, that's life changing money, pay off the house and the kids college for that money.

But of course it would be up to the wife, but if I know her (and I think I do), she would do this in a heartbeat.


----------



## center1

Why would you even ask a question like this? To start trouble in your marriage? To test your wife? What purpose does a question with little to no possibility of happening even have? Maybe my advice is no good because I don't have a perfect marriage but for what it's worth, don't create problems in your marriage based on something as ridiculous as this. And, like everyone else said, it's impossible for her to know for sure what she'd really do when faced with that anyway. Move on and deal with real issues in life.


----------



## Sunburn

that_girl said:


> Ha! I'd have sex for a million dollars.
> 
> I had sex for 5 years with someone who said he loved me, but now tells me he lied the whole time.
> 
> So...whatevs.


Right, it's all a commodity and everyone is their own pimp, there are just different forms of payment.


----------



## EMZED

My husband work very hard trying to make ends meet and provide for our son. If I had the opportunity to make a million dollars in one night, not only would I do it, he would encourage me to!

Of course this would help our marriage. We could pay off our mortgage, retire early (and we thought we'd have to work till we died!). It would change our lives for the better. We could travel. We could up our wine bracket. We could stop worrying.

Unfortunately, no one will ever get this kind of offer.


----------



## superettefun

NoIinThreesome said:


> Of course, men and women do it all the time. We go to jobs we don't like, we make long tiring commutes, some of us travel 3-4 days a week, all so our families can have better lives.


here here,


----------



## aston

Easy to pontificate and take a moral high ground until the proposition becomes real. I've seen even the most principled women do it for less. Show most women real money and the rest is history.
Anyone will do anything......for the right price. We see it everyday, and on a side note your wife was serious the first time around.


----------



## jenifadesu

A man offers a husband one million dollars to sleep with his wife. If the husband and wife are both gung-ho about it, then sure, why not? Their relationship is their private affair. If either the husband or the wife are not okay with it, then the answer should be no, no matter what. It will ultimately destroy the marriage. Is it worth it?

I would rather live without the money than destroy my husband, my kids, my family, myself.


----------



## Angela Goodnight

Hmm, reading through the replies I believe that most have not really thought about the implications of this and what you can actually DO with $1,000,000.

Prior to Peter & I finding each other again (Google me for detail) I would have had no hesitation. It would just be another penis in my vagina and there have been 26 others during my life.
.
Since us being back together it changes things. Nothing and no one is more important to me than him. I wouldn't have a problem with the use of my vagina for a single event with such a huge reward, but the answer to the question would have to come from him. 
.
If he said OK, how would I feel? If it were any other partner I would feel let down and compromised, but with Peter, if he agreed then I would know that it wouldn't hurt him to have me perform this act. I'd then do it with enthusiasm and would earn our payment. I would not enjoy it, but would give the impression to the client that I did. The average man would never know the difference. :lol:
.
Once the act was done we would spend the money on an STI test, fine dining, fine meals, more travel, adding a swimming pool to our lovely house and employing a maid and handyman so that we could spend all of our time making love to each other with no chores to take away any of our rapidly vanishing remaining life together. 
.
Sorry to be so long-winded, but this question needs a full answer, not a quick 'no way' or 'you bet'. LOL.


----------



## colonelkfc

In my opinion, no-one truly knows how they would react unless they were in the position for real. Sure, I have an idea of what my Wife and I "might" say to such an offer. But unless the situation arises for real, I don't think any of us really know how we would react.


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s

This thread appears to have been bumped, so I might as well reply.

This thread does raise issues that are fun to talk about. If you're already well-off then the offer won't be appealing, but if you're not then the picture changes. Even if you don't need or want the money for yourself, what could you do for your kids or your parents with a million dollars? Medical needs? Help your parents retire? Put your kids through college such that they have a chance to choose a path that really interests them, rather than the one that's quickest and cheapest? 

I don't really see it as an "integrity" issue. It's just sex, a penis in a vagina. My wife had other penii in there before me. If she were to cheat on me now, for free, then that tells me there's something wrong with our marriage, but if she does it for a million bucks, then it's obviously just a job. Does that make her a prostitute? Sure, but most of us voluntarily do things we'd rather not do, in exchange for money. It's called "work". 

For a million dollars, I'd do the guy myself, and retire ten years earlier.


----------



## COguy

Like I said in my indecent proposal thread. A million dollars buys a lot of therapy.


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s

SadSamIAm said:


> Many a story about people that have won the lottery and a few months/years later, their life has fallen apart.


Those are the stories you hear, because they're newsworthy. For every such lottery winner, there are a hundred who you never hear about, because they're quietly enjoying themselves at the cottage 

I've been poor and I've been, well, not "rich", but much less poor (basically, I have everything I want except enough free time). In my experience, being rich beats being poor any day, all other things being equal. Yes, having money brings new problems, but I greatly prefer the problems I have now that I'm rich to the problems I had when I was poor.


----------



## richardsharpe

Good afternoon all
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it can free you from some of the problems that cause unhappiness.

If someone will be traumatized for life by the idea of having sex with someone they don't love, then the $1M isn't worth it. 

In my case, I'll take sex with a randomly selected person over a root canal any day.


----------



## EleGirl

I agree that no one really knows how they are going to react until the are offered such a proposition. And let's face it. That proposition will never happen.

There is really no sex that is work $1M-$10M. So what is the person's motive? In the movie the motive was to mess with the couple. And that's what it did. I believe it distoryed them as a couple.

In real life... there is sex and then there is weird sh!t. Is this person offering $1M as a way to get consent to so something very weird? Would you survive whatever they have planned mentally/physically? What would they really be paying $1M for?


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s

aston said:


> *Show most women real money and the rest is history.*


Are you suggesting that women are less principled than men in this regard?


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s

An interesting book that I highly recommend is "Righteous Minds" by Jonathan Haidt. He talks about "moral tastebuds", that is, different foundations for moral intuitions that some people seem to have in varying degrees. 

One of these tastebuds is the "sacred/profane", where there are something things that aren't about physical suffering but are nonetheless treated as sacred and it just feels wrong to violate them. Not everyone feels that way (as a very crude generalization, liberals are said to feel this impulse less strongly than conservatives), and I think that's where some of the different answers came from in this thread. 

To some people, the sexual bond within a marriage is not merely important, it is *sacred*. Selling yourself for sex at any price (even outside of marriage, let alone inside it!) is not merely another job, it is a desecration of yourself. Some people (including me), don't see it that way, and that's what this question is designed to uncover. If sex for money is negotiable in principle, then a million dollars is enough to meet anyone's price. If it isn't, it isn't. (In my country the prostitution laws are under discussion so this is an active area of public debate).


----------



## Marduk

EleGirl said:


> She'll be a much more financially secure one at that.
> 
> 
> How many men would have sex with a good looking woman for $1,000,000? I'll bet that the number is pretty high.


Not this one.


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s

richardsharpe said:


> In my case, I'll take sex with a randomly selected person over a root canal any day.


A root canal isn't that bad actually... just a couple of hours of numb boredom. Depending on the proposed sex partner, I think I'd usually take the root canal. But a million bucks? Pass the lube.


----------



## richardsharpe

Good afternoon MarriedManInHis40s
Dental work is a lot less pleasant if you are one if the rare people for whom Novocain doesn't work....



MarriedManInHis40s said:


> A root canal isn't that bad actually... just a couple of hours of numb boredom. Depending on the proposed sex partner, I think I'd usually take the root canal. But a million bucks? Pass the lube.


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s

richardsharpe said:


> Good afternoon MarriedManInHis40s
> Dental work is a lot less pleasant if you are one if the rare people for whom Novocain doesn't work....


Ouch! Good Lord. My sympathies! Yes, I'd gladly have sex with any sentient human being over the age of consent rather than that, and wouldn't judge my wife for doing the same. 

This is my "care/harm" moral instinct in action, overriding my non-existent "sacred/profane" moral instinct.


----------



## LongWalk

I don't think a million dollars is necessary. Even a lot of respectable women would give it thought for $45,000. Imagine for that sum you would be rated as one of the most expensive prostitutes in history. That's some consolation.

Whether or not anyone knew that would change the price.

Also, it is possible to rationalize. Most women probably had a sex partner that they regretted. Why did they ever sleep with Bob, fvcking loser Bob? Well, if they slept with Joe for $47,000, they could regret both, but at last the ONS with Bob would be compensated by $23,500.

However, it might not be worth it if the person wanted hang around all the time. Sleep in the same bed. Eat meals together and be friends. That would be like getting married. That might cost more.


----------



## xakulax

I think a better counter question would be how much is it worth to not be able to look at yourself in the mirror ? how much is your self respect worth? If you can answer a question with an exact amount then I say go for it but personally there's no chance in hell I will consider something as disrespectful and degrading as pimping out my SO.


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s

xakulax said:


> there's no chance in hell I will consider something as disrespectful and degrading as pimping out my SO.


Well, the phrase "pimping out" implies that you are pressuring or forcing your SO in some way to do this, even if she's not particularly willing/interested. I agree that's something I would not be willing to do under normal circumstances, even for a million bucks. 
(I have no problem with prostitution, but pimping should be a crime punishable by death).


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening MarriedManInHis40s
:iagree:
Pressuring someone to have sex is a whole different thing from offering them money. There is of course the very wide grey area where someone desperately needs the money.......






MarriedManInHis40s said:


> Well, the phrase "pimping out" implies that you are pressuring or forcing your SO in some way to do this, even if she's not particularly willing/interested. I agree that's something I would not be willing to do under normal circumstances, even for a million bucks.
> (I have no problem with prostitution, but pimping should be a crime punishable by death).


----------



## richardsharpe

Good evening all
This made me think of a related issue. Its clear that many people will not take $1M for sex - which is absolutely fine, it is their decision. This is consistent with the idea that rape is among the most heinous crimes.

But - in many countries, most notably the US, a sentence to prison is a de-facto sentence to rape. (even in women's prisons rape is very common). For those who think of unwanted sex as such a horrific thing, how can they reconcile that with prison sentences for non-violent crimes?

Maybe this is too far off topic, but it seemed that the question of what you want in exchange for unwanted sex is closely tied to the question of what you would do to avoid unwanted sex.


----------



## xakulax

MarriedManInHis40s said:


> Well, the phrase "pimping out" implies that you are pressuring or forcing your SO in some way to do this, even if she's not particularly willing/interested. I agree that's something I would not be willing to do under normal circumstances, even for a million bucks.
> (I have no problem with prostitution, but pimping should be a crime punishable by death).




For the recorded pimping out doesn't really implies pressuring or forcing although this could be a contributing factor in most cases it is an agreement between both willing parties where one has sex act with a customer and the agent for prostitutes collects part of their earnings In the Indecent Proposal scenario the husband is the pimp he makes the decision to carry out the act the wife is the prostitute and the client offering the money is a John the scenario no different then any high class escort.


----------



## SadSamIAm

Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill… Well, I suppose… we would have to discuss terms, of course…
Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Churchill: Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s

xakulax said:


> For the recorded pimping out *doesn't really implies pressuring or forcing* although this could be a contributing factor in most cases it is an agreement between both willing parties where one has sex act with a customer and the agent for prostitutes collects part of their earnings In the Indecent Proposal scenario the husband is the pimp *he makes the decision to carry out the act* the wife is the prostitute and the client offering the money is a John the scenario no different then any high class escort.


I think the two parts I bolded contradict each other. If (hypothetically) my wife were to agree to do this, it's HER decision, not mine. If she doesn't want to do it, what I want is irrelevant. If what I want becomes relevant, then I must be forcing her in some way. 

The earnings of course would be 100% hers to do with as she wished, and I would have no right to claim or expect a single cent. So I think in that scenario I'm not a pimp.

(The fact that the client insists on paying me rather than my wife is not really relevant, as there's nothing the client can do from simply giving all the money to my wife afterwards).

Now, if my wife wanted, out of her own free will, to give me some of her earnings, that's up to her. You could argue that me accepting this freely given money from my wife makes me a pimp... but what if she gives the money to her dad? Is her dad a pimp? Her son? Is her son a pimp?


----------



## scaz

Its and interesting conversation to be had. As partners we need to be open to understanding first. 

When the question was asked you already said you consented. So you already said I would, but would you? So don't be so hard on your partner. 

Cheating or betraying in a relationship is based off an relationship. No way in hell would I want my wife to sleep with someone else or even give a massage or clean their house. We all do stuff to get stuff. If my wife did something for another man because it makes her happy then I would have a problem. However her doing it to improve our lives or to help someone who is down on their luck is different.


----------



## Marduk

I've held a million dollars in my hands. It's a whole lot of paper.

It did not make me happy.

I've seen a million dollars come and go in my bank account.

It did not make me happy.

I was raised with essentially nothing. Beyond hand to mouth, into the "if we don't get food from friends/family we don't eat" zone.

So I knew poverty and the value of a dollar from a very young age.

And I know the value of working for what you have. What I have, I have by the sweat of my brow, and nothing else.

The things I have of greatest value in this world (in no order, they are all the greatest):
- My honour and integrity
- My marriage
- My children

I would not defile any of those three for any amount of money in this world.

Accepting this offer would defile at least two.

There is an ocean of money in this world. More than enough to go around. If it's what you want, there are many ways to go get it.

Many ways that don't include selling yourself or your spouse for your comfort.


----------



## xakulax

MarriedManInHis40s said:


> I think the two parts I bolded contradict each other. If (hypothetically) my wife were to agree to do this, it's HER decision, not mine. If she doesn't want to do it, what I want is irrelevant. If what I want becomes relevant, then I must be forcing her in some way.
> 
> The earnings of course would be 100% hers to do with as she wished, and I would have no right to claim or expect a single cent. So I think in that scenario I'm not a pimp.
> 
> (The fact that the client insists on paying me rather than my wife is not really relevant, as there's nothing the client can do from simply giving all the money to my wife afterwards).
> 
> Now, if my wife wanted, out of her own free will, to give me some of her earnings, that's up to her. You could argue that me accepting this freely given money from my wife makes me a pimp... but what if she gives the money to her dad? Is her dad a pimp? Her son? Is her son a pimp?




This is starting to turn into a battle of semantics


*If (hypothetically) my wife were to agree to do this, it's HER decision, not mine.*


The wife decision is totally 100% here's what she chooses to do with her body yes but there is that hole forsaking all others thing this is the reason why the husband consent matters in this scenario because he's the one who has to go home with her not the millionaire John she has to go home to her husband and if the husband was against the arrangement the odds are very high the marriage will probably come to an end afterwords so the husband decision is relevant.



*The fact that the client insists on paying me rather than my wife is not really relevant, as there's nothing the client can do from simply giving all the money to my wife afterwards*



So you're saying in this scenario you would allow someone you don't know to have sex with your wife and not get the money first what's to keep him from well as they say dining and dashing secondly how can you verify he actually has the money 





*Now, if my wife wanted, out of her own free will, to give me some of her earnings, that's up to her. You could argue that me accepting this freely given money from my wife makes me a pimp*


No it does not make you a pimp it would merely make you the benefactor of her work as an escort


----------



## Mr. Nail

Long walk hit the point in my mind for this whole stinking long thread. Most people who actually do betray their partner do it for much less. 
MN


----------



## MrsDraper

Satya said:


> $1M, $10M, no amount of money would be able to fix or justify the irreparable psychological and emotional damage such a thing would cause (to me and my SO). I only get one psyche, one life, sometimes only one chance with a person I care deeply about. I'd do everything in my power to not F it all up for a pile of dosh.


I think that 10 million could fix my psychological damage - if it was there at all. :smthumbup:


----------



## Wolf1974

Feeling ripped off cause I never got a cent for all the men my x screwed while we were married 

But in all seriousness money has never been a driving force in my life so this is a 100% no for me


----------



## MarriedManInHis40s

marduk said:


> I've held a million dollars in my hands. It's a whole lot of paper. It did not make me happy.


"Anyone who says that money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop". 
That's usually intended tongue-in-cheek, but there's a lot of truth to it IMHO. People who like their work and don't know what to do with time not spent at work won't necessarily agree.



marduk said:


> There is an ocean of money in this world. More than enough to go around. If it's what you want, there are many ways to go get it. Many ways that don't include selling yourself or your spouse for your comfort.


I'd respectfully but completely disagree with you. Most of the ways of (legally) getting money that I'm aware of do in fact involve "selling yourself" in one way or another. Until I retire in 15 years, I expect to earn about 1m (discounted present value), doing things I would rather not bother with if money weren't an issue. If I could get the prostitution over with in one night rather than stretching it out over 15 years, I'd cheerfully do it.


----------



## Married but Happy

We've been swingers, so having sex with other people for fun is fine. However, we'd only do this with someone we WANT to do it with. So, if whichever of us is propositioned would have had sex with that person anyway, then sure - the $1M would be a nice bonus. But, if we wouldn't have chosen to have sex with them when NO money is involved, then we wouldn't when it is.

Essentially, we wouldn't compromise our principles. If our principles were strictly based on traditional monogamy, then we'd turn down this proposition. Of course - for us - even then there may be circumstances that would shade the decision one way or the other. We don't see sex, marriage, or monogamy as absolutes - they are subject to our own interpretation, current thinking, practical considerations, and negotiation.


----------



## AusTexan

SadSamIAm said:


> You don't need to test. I did that for you.
> 
> When my wife and I first met, we had nothing. Minimum wage paying jobs. A few years later, got married, had kids. Average paying jobs. Started a business, and had some success. Kids now pretty much grown up. We have plenty of money.
> 
> I can honestly say that as time went by, our happiness levels went down, while our money levels went up.



Wow! I can't believe you said that! I've said the same thing to many people for years all of whom think I'm nuts! Happiest time for me was newlywed, in a 1br efficiency, paying the bills and no more, total income $16,080 per year! Fast forward not too damn many years and some skill, luck, and yes I did work my butt off, we found ourselves in the 8 digit mils every year. As it grew, the more miserable we became. Fought all the time. It just was insane. Highest income year for me ever? Sold a major public tech corporation I was CEO for in 1999 (if you know that period, industry, and the NASDAQ, you get it) like $1 billion (i think at least $500 million over priced but who am I to argue?) and got divorced and lost a ton of assets I prized and loved. Looking at my life story, money sucks and you should burn it as fast as possible so it doesn't kill your marriages, spirit, and life as you've known it. That is all for now but crap you hit the nail on the head man!


----------



## AusTexan

ElCanario said:


> Well, I am miserable now and do not have a million dollars. So I would be quite willing to try life as a rich man.
> 
> 
> 
> The way I see it, if your life falls apart after winning, you didn't plan or budget or just say "no" the right way. I win money, I guarantee you I'm holding on to it.


Holding onto it is easy unless you are a stupid NBA rookie of 4 years ago who had the 70 million contract and is bankrupt now. It isn't about holding onto it. It is what it does to you spirit and life. More I made, the worse life became. There was a direct inverse effect there.


----------



## AusTexan

MarriedManInHis40s said:


> This thread appears to have been bumped, so I might as well reply.
> 
> This thread does raise issues that are fun to talk about. If you're already well-off then the offer won't be appealing, but if you're not then the picture changes. Even if you don't need or want the money for yourself, what could you do for your kids or your parents with a million dollars? Medical needs? Help your parents retire? Put your kids through college such that they have a chance to choose a path that really interests them, rather than the one that's quickest and cheapest?
> 
> I don't really see it as an "integrity" issue. It's just sex, a penis in a vagina. My wife had other penii in there before me. If she were to cheat on me now, for free, then that tells me there's something wrong with our marriage, but if she does it for a million bucks, then it's obviously just a job. Does that make her a prostitute? Sure, but most of us voluntarily do things we'd rather not do, in exchange for money. It's called "work".
> 
> For a million dollars, I'd do the guy myself, and retire ten years earlier.


Work for most, however, isn't selling our very essence, our being, our bonded soul away from the one we are committed to love, cherish, and honor. It is called "character" and believe it or not, some--albeit only a few--still have it.


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## Married but Happy

AusTexan said:


> Holding onto it is easy unless you are a stupid NBA rookie of 4 years ago who had the 70 million contract and is bankrupt now. It isn't about holding onto it. It is what it does to you spirit and life. More I made, the worse life became. There was a direct inverse effect there.


Interesting. The more I made, the better life became. Having more money has reduced the concerns that can arise from not having enough, so stress is less and there are more options and opportunities available when you have extra money.

Also, we are not materialistic. If we had a million or a 100 million more, our lives would not change dramatically. Yes, we'd add a few luxuries, and retire early, but we'd also pursue interesting new experiences through travel and finding ways to help others and support causes that matter to us. We would have more time for personal development.

There are many wealthy people who are happy and do good things with their resources. There are also idiots who have no clue how to handle sudden wealth, or who have very little common sense - they will likely take the road to ruin.

I think the idea that wealth doesn't produce happiness is largely a myth promoted by those who try to console themselves for not having money. And yes, you certainly can be poor and happy and fulfilled - I've been there myself, but I wouldn't want to go back!


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## xakulax

MarriedManInHis40s said:


> "Anyone who says that money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop".
> That's usually intended tongue-in-cheek, but there's a lot of truth to it IMHO. People who like their work and don't know what to do with time not spent at work won't necessarily agree.
> 
> 
> 
> I'd respectfully but completely disagree with you. Most of the ways of (legally) getting money that I'm aware of do in fact involve "selling yourself" in one way or another. Until I retire in 15 years, I expect to earn about 1m (discounted present value), doing things I would rather not bother with if money weren't an issue. If I could get the prostitution over with in one night rather than stretching it out over 15 years, I'd cheerfully do it.






Sorry but I completely disagree with your post money can not buy you happiness unless your definition of happiness is materialistic then by all means slap a price on your self respect I however can not this post brings up an old quote my economics professor always said class





"MONEY HAS NEVER MADE MAN HAPPY, NOR WILL IT, THERE IS NOTHING IN ITS NATURE TO PRODUCE HAPPINESS. THE MORE OF IT ONE HAS THE MORE ONE WANTS."


BENJAMIN FRANKLIN


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## AusTexan

Here is a sad reality for me. The guy shows up with the $1 million and then when we meet him, he backs out of the deal immediately. When I ask why, he replies, "I already had her for free. Not going to pay now!"


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## xakulax

Married but Happy said:


> *I think the idea that wealth doesn't produce happiness is largely a myth* promoted by those who try to console themselves for not having money. *And yes, you certainly can be poor and happy and fulfilled *- I've been there myself, but I wouldn't want to go back!






Contradictory logic :scratchhead:


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## richardsharpe

Good afternoon all
Like several others here, my financial situation has varied a lot over the years. Money doesn't make you happy, but it frees you from some very basic problems that can make you unhappy. If you are wealthy you do not need to worry about food, shelter, medical care. A job loss means that you need to see you sailboat, not that your family may be on the streets. It means never having that sinking feeling of seeing a bill that you simply cannot pay. 

Even beyond necessities, money provides opportunities. You can travel, take up new hobbies, etc.

Certainly you can be wealthy and unhappy, and money will not fix a bad relationship. A lack of money can really stress even a good relationship.


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## xakulax

AusTexan said:


> Here is a sad reality for me. The guy shows up with the $1 million and then when we meet him, he backs out of the deal immediately. When I ask why, he replies, "I already had her for free. Not going to pay now!"




:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:



Truest post of the day


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## MarriedManInHis40s

> by all means slap a price on your self respect





> It is called "character" and believe it or not, some--albeit only a few--still have it.





> selling yourself or your spouse for your comfort


It is very common for people to criticize values different than their own by suggesting that these differing values could only be grounded on a complete lack of integrity, character, and moral principles. 

This belief is rearing its head again in this thread, but as is usually the case, it is false. This sort of thing might go over well with those who already agree with you, but it has nothing to do with how I arrived at my views, so it just comes across to me as lazy ad hominem.


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## Married but Happy

xakulax said:


> Contradictory logic :scratchhead:


No, just that it depends primarily upon your attitude and perspective. You can be happy with or without wealth, or unhappy. I do contend that it is much easier to be happy if you have sufficient money to remove the stresses of not having enough for basic comfort and security.


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## ElCanario

AusTexan said:


> Holding onto it is easy unless you are a stupid NBA rookie of 4 years ago who had the 70 million contract and is bankrupt now.


That's how I feel, though some of those guys have pressures on them that most of us cannot even imagine. That said, I guarantee you that if I get a million or more, I'm going to gladly take it and hold onto it.




> It isn't about holding onto it. It is what it does to you spirit and life. *More I made, the worse life became. * There was a direct inverse effect there.


AusTexan, it seems to me that you have a great degree of wisdom that you acquired due to some adverse things that happened in your life. Are you telling us, however, that you caused some of this adversity yourself?


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## MarriedManInHis40s

Married but Happy said:


> No, just that it depends primarily upon your attitude and perspective. You can be happy with or without wealth, or unhappy. I do contend that it is much easier to be happy if you have sufficient money to remove the stresses of not having enough for basic comfort and security.


Another excellent book by Jonathan Haidt is the Happiness Hypothesis, basically a look at all the research at what makes people happy. It is true that you become acclimatized to increases in wealth.... the big house/big car is nice at first but then you get used to it and it doesn't make you any happier. Similarly with some negatives... apparently parapalegics show surprising levels of happiness a year after their injuries.

There are, however, some things that (apparently) research shows you never adapt to. They just suck, and keep sucking, and reduce your happiness permanently. IIRC some of the items on the list included: 

a long commute (especially one with variable delays like traffic, over which you have no control)
a noisy environment
a job you hate
a bad marriage (frequent fights, etc)

There were some others but I can't remember them offhand.

A million dollars can't help you much with #4 (except for divorce lawyers), but if you're suffering from 1 through 3, a million dollars can really help, and will really make you happier. In my experience this has certainly been true. This, to me, is the deeper meaning of the tongue-in-cheek saying "those who say money can't buy happiness don't know where to shop!"


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## xakulax

MarriedManInHis40s said:


> It is very common for people to criticize values different than their own by suggesting that these differing values could only be grounded on a complete lack of integrity, character, and moral principles.
> 
> This belief is rearing its head again in this thread, but as is usually the case, it is false. This sort of thing might go over well with those who already agree with you, but it has nothing to do with how I arrived at my views, so it just comes across to me as lazy ad hominem.




To each their own I respect everyone point of view and the values they believe in as long as they respect mine


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## Horsa

I never have or see 1 million dollars cash, and that amount of money surely made me thought about it a few times. But And I choose never to give away my wife, no matter how much I will be paid. I can't do it and I'm sure I'll never be able to look at myself in the mirror again if I agree with that. 
I can't speak for her, and a million dollars is a lot of money, but I hope that she would turned it down too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Marduk

MarriedManInHis40s said:


> "Anyone who says that money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop".
> That's usually intended tongue-in-cheek, but there's a lot of truth to it IMHO. People who like their work and don't know what to do with time not spent at work won't necessarily agree.


Sorry I don't get what you're saying here, but let me give you an example.

In the past 5 or so years I've started making a ton of dough. A few years ago, when I started pulling the cash but our marriage was still crap, we took a great vacation that we could never have afforded before.

Instead of enjoying the beaches, the fine dining, the fantastic place we were staying at...

I spent it considering the state of my marriage.

I wasn't happy.



> I'd respectfully but completely disagree with you. Most of the ways of (legally) getting money that I'm aware of do in fact involve "selling yourself" in one way or another. Until I retire in 15 years, I expect to earn about 1m (discounted present value), doing things I would rather not bother with if money weren't an issue. If I could get the prostitution over with in one night rather than stretching it out over 15 years, I'd cheerfully do it.


Is working selling yourself? Sure, your time maybe.

Do you consider it equivalent to selling the sexual fidelity of your marriage? That's _your_ call, I can't tell you your values.

What I can tell you is that I discovered a few years ago that you can invest in creation or you can invest in destruction.

By which I mean that you can invest in things that grow and provide wealth long-term. Things like yourself, your career, solid investments, and solid relationships.

Or you can invest in things that decline, wither, and die. Things like cars, keeping up with the jonses, meaningless relationships with people you don't actually like, and things that take you away from the people that matter to you.

I'm not here to judge you; if you would cash in on $1m in one night and be happy to do so, go for it.

I guess what I'm saying is that I was bloody shocked at how little money mattered when I finally had it and had what actually mattered in my life be crap.


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## EMZED

So where are these men who are paying millions of dollars for one night of sex? I would like to be put in touch with these spend-happy gentlemen.


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## couple

thatbpguy said:


> I guess I started this as I was so shocked at my wife. Her views on sex and mine are not quite the same. I just wanted to know if anyone else could possibly think the same way.


Don't worry, many men would also be very shocked to learn the real truth about their demure looking and acting wives - what they really think about sex, what they would do and could do sexually if the situation were there, and what they have done in the past and what they really thought about those experiences.

In many relationships, women hide some aspects of their sexuality and present themselves as only demure and modest to their husbands because they think that is what a 'good' wife should do and what a husband wants to hear.

I think it's a shame when couples can't be totally open and honest with each other in these areas as it gets in the way of real intimacy. However, I also appreciate that many men can't handle the real truths about their wife's sexuality.

I suggest you explore each other's feelings about sexuality and that you try to make her feel comfortable sharing these kind of things with you. Although this might be uncomfortable for you both at first, it is likely to reward you both with a greater level of closeness and intimacy in your relationship. Not knowing your wife's real feelings toward sexuality does not change her feelings or make them go away. Her sexuality 'is what it is' and you can choose whether you want it to be open between the two of you or whether you just want her to hide her real feelings.

Obviously her attitude toward the indecent proposal thing is not a really big issue in itself (the whole purpose of it is meant to stir controversy and debate, right?) but I think your question implies that there is a lot of things in her sexuality that she has not opened up to and that you generally do not share very much regarding your sexualities.


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## couple

AusTexan said:


> Holding onto it is easy unless you are a stupid NBA rookie of 4 years ago who had the 70 million contract and is bankrupt now. It isn't about holding onto it. It is what it does to you spirit and life. More I made, the worse life became. There was a direct inverse effect there.


I don't disagree with your feelings about money and happiness. Like you, I look at the simpler poor days as happy/happier than now. HOWEVER, the relationship between money and happiness across one's life is not so simple. Being 'poor' as a student or someone just starting out in careers and in the early days of a relationship is different from being poor when older.

In younger days we were overflowing with excitement for the future and we were filled with dreams. A cheap bottle of wine, a pizza and a couch was pretty much all that was needed for a good time together. Times change and people need/want/expect different things at different points in their lives. You can't go back to these blissful simpler days and just removing money from the equation will certainly not do it. Therefore, i think it's much more about normal progression through life rather than money killing happiness.


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## old red

prostitution is prostitution, whether it's for $5 or $1000000.


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## imtamnew

And a client is a client...wether he pays 5$ or a million.
A sad loser.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## old red

"And a client is a client...whether he pays 5$ or a million."

agreed.


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## Married but Happy

old red said:


> prostitution is prostitution, whether it's for $5 or $1000000.


Marriage is the oldest form of prostitution.


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## richardsharpe

Good afternoon Married but happy
Prostitution may be older than marriage. I seem to remember an article on bonobo apes trading food for sex.....



Married but Happy said:


> Marriage is the oldest form of prostitution.


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## Married but Happy

richardsharpe said:


> Good afternoon Married but happy
> Prostitution may be older than marriage. I seem to remember an article on bonobo apes trading food for sex.....


Good point. Then that would make marriage _institutionalized _prostitution!


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## imtamnew

I find linking marriage as prostitution very insulting and demeaning.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xakulax

richardsharpe said:


> Good afternoon Married but happy
> Prostitution may be older than marriage. I seem to remember an article on bonobo apes trading food for sex.....




Bonbons also fling there poo when upset should we start doing that as well.. As a highly evolved being I like to believe we are more than just slaves to our base natures..


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## xakulax

Married but Happy said:


> Marriage is the oldest form of prostitution.



:scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead: How exactly


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## richardsharpe

Good afternoon xakulax
I think the idea that marriage == prostitution is based on the thought that men marry in return for sex. That may be true in some cases but I think it is very far from true in most marriages.

Historically marriage was more often a business-like arrangement, but not for sex so much as for a combination of family contacts, and shared work. 



xakulax said:


> :scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead: How exactly


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