# It's called the cheating husband diet...



## Chopsy (Oct 10, 2012)

But I wouldn't recommend it as it breaks your heart.

Anyone struggling to eat since d-day? I've lost 10 pounds, struggle to eat. The weird thing is stuff I used to like I now dislike. Like cheese, chocolate, dairy, even ice cream. I can't seem to make a proper meal. I drink tea, will manage a small plain yogurt. I eat oranges and the odd banana but I'm getting tired of bananas. I don't eat bread as it bloats me so much. I don't like bacon or sausages anymore. My appetite is very small. Went out for a meal with two friends last week and as it was a steak house, I had a steak, ate less than half. 

My SIL usually has me over for dinner on thurs, after yoga (we both do the yoga class). 

I wouldn't be bothered about my appetite but I know I'm much weaker and less fit than I was, and I want to start training again, which I will do, but I need to get enough in me to do it. 

If I didn't have to eat I wouldn't. Before my H left and cheated, I was slightly plump and guilty of comfort eating. I'm quite slim now for the first time in my adult life, and always thought I'd be happy when I got to a certain size.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

My appetite has been OK - it's actually my WW who lost a lot of weight and wasn't eating. Guilt is a great weight loss plan too. 

Hope your appetite comes back and your heart heals.


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

I lost 30 pounds on the cheating wife diet.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

25 on cheating h diet. Not fun. Best thing to do is to be sure that when you do eat you eat something good for you with protein. Otherwise your brain will start of get all foggy and well......we gotta leave the fog to the cheaters.

Just a side note thought- WH lost at least that so his appetite tanked as well. Lots of stress to go 'round. Thankfully he's put 90% of it back on(didnt need to lose it in the first place).

Good luck. 

CTU


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

I lost 16 pounds, then gained back 4 - 5 when I started accepting the situation and my emotions stabilized. The 16 pounds was lost in about a 3 week stretch without even realizing it. Not eating properly, not sleeping properly - it's not a healthy way to lose weight. BUT, you can turn it into a positive by starting to work out and maintain the weight loss.

Now, I am back down 16 and targeting 20 by stepping up exercise and eating a little better (I can never change my diet completely to "healthy" because there are certain things I love and food is one of them).


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## Ovid (Oct 11, 2012)

I lost another 20 pounds of fat after by eating right and exercise. I've also added 20 pounds of muscle. I trying for a six pack by summer. Then I'm taking my wife to the beach


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

It sucks when people ask you "how did you lose all that weight" I tell them stress. They say "stress makes me eat" well I think to myself maybe they don't know what real stress is. I am the WS btw and it's been almost a year since D day. Still have to make myself eat , hate eating.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

CantSitStill said:


> It sucks when people ask you "how did you lose all that weight" I tell them stress. They say "stress makes me eat" well I think to myself maybe they don't know what real stress is. I am the WS btw and it's been almost a year since D day. Still have to make myself eat , hate eating.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Too funny. Ive said the same thing "stress" only to get the same reply "I eat when Im stressed" and I always think then you havent had real stress yet! I couldnt keep my head out of the toilet even w/o eating. I know its true- some do eat when they are stressed- I just dont get that though. The very thought of eating made me physically sick. The smell of dinner cooking.....OMG.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

canttrustu said:


> Too funny. Ive said the same thing "stress" only to get the same reply "I eat when Im stressed" and I always think then you havent had real stress yet! I couldnt keep my head out of the toilet even w/o eating. I know its true- some do eat when they are stressed- I just dont get that though. The very thought of eating made me physically sick. The smell of dinner cooking.....OMG.


Yes - stress eaters...don't get that. When I'm stressed, my stomach locks down.


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## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

25 - 30 lbs seems to be the magic number for most. I lost 28 lbs in a month. When I did start eating, it was 1 pack of Raman noodles a day....nothing else. I made myself eat that. 

Not how I wanted to lose the weight, but I sure as hell-o ain't going back!

I say stress as well when people ask- (used to be a stress eater), so I know it is pure heartbreak. When you are dying, you don't eat. When you are stressed, you do. Should have been a cue for me. Until we were in TRUE R, my hubs didn't skip a meal. When he finally pulled his head out, he barely ate. Now he put the weight back on and I am maintaining  Yeah me!


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

Most people eventually resort to Boost or Ensure.
It goes down more easily and doesn't add much weight to the pit in your stomach.


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## Chopsy (Oct 10, 2012)

Made myself eat an egg yesterday, just horrible, ate it as fast I could. It's like when you have the flu and you cant eat, and then you get well and that first meal is so good...I'm still waiting for that moment. To not even like chocolate anymore! That sucks! Used to eat due to "stress", but this is the real deal.I also used to have ED issues and hope I don't slip into that either.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

I went from a 205 (high) to 180 (low). Managed to get back up in the 185 range now.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Chopsy said:


> Made myself eat an egg yesterday, just horrible, ate it as fast I could. It's like when you have the flu and you cant eat, and then you get well and that first meal is so good...I'm still waiting for that moment. To not even like chocolate anymore! That sucks! Used to eat due to "stress", but this is the real deal.I also used to have ED issues and hope I don't slip into that either.


now you know if you start worrying about "that" it will happen right? One thing at a time.


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

Pit-of-my-stomach said:


> I went from a 205 (high) to 180 (low). Managed to get back up in the 185 range now.


Pure hunk -a -hunk o'burnin' love right there!


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## 2ntnuf (Jul 14, 2012)

Went from about 220 to 175 in two months. No issues now.


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## C-man (Oct 23, 2012)

For me, I think it was the stress causing me to burn more calories vs eating less. And I wasn't sleeping (first 3 weeks - probably 2 - 3 hours a night max) - so would be burning calories more hours of the day. My appetite wasn't the same - but in my case I think I was just burning at a higher than normal rate. I WAS eating less, but was still having the proper 3 meals/day - just not finishing everything. When you're stressed your body is burning calories as if you were in a constant "fight" mode. 

I've always exercised - so just stepped it up a notch - and that has been helping me sleep. Also got my doctor to prescribe a sleeping pill which REALLY helped to get a good night's rest during the worst times. Slowly weaning myself off of having to use sleep aids. The other thing I have cut back is coffee. I take cream and sugar and used to drink 5 - 6 cups/day. Now it's 2... maybe 3 max and never have one after 4 pm. Not drinking the calories from the cream and sugar alone will help me to lose a few pounds over the course of a year vs previous years.


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## Chopsy (Oct 10, 2012)

canttrustu said:


> now you know if you start worrying about "that" it will happen right? One thing at a time.


Yeah I know, gotta focus on getting strong. Thought I might try to make soup this week. I like soup, hate the tinned stuff tho


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## Chopsy (Oct 10, 2012)

Homemaker_Numero_Uno said:


> Most people eventually resort to Boost or Ensure.
> It goes down more easily and doesn't add much weight to the pit in your stomach.


Really don't think I could keep that stuff down. Also too many associations, my dad had boost when he was dying.


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## keepmyfamily (Nov 16, 2012)

I had 2 babies back to back (the are 2/3 now) and I had a rough time taking the weight off after.

I have now lost those 30 lbs that needed to go. I am eating though, just smaller portions and no random snacking throughout the day.

The weight loss has been a GREAT self esteem boost, which is much needed right now. 

And, I agree with the extra calories being burned by keeping busier than normal (if that's even possible) and not sleeping all that great in the beginning of all this. I was laying down at 12-1 and waking at 3:30 on the dot for a few weeks.


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## Grey Goose (Aug 23, 2012)

I lost about 15 to 20, did not eat anything until 10 days after d-day (don't ask how) and then I could barely have one meal a day (I would throw up or had other wonderful stomach problems) and to make matters worst, to control my stress I would go running for about 8 to 9 miles. So yes I became a pretty skinny thing. It has been a year and I am ok now and back to my healthy training self.


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## AshS (Jan 11, 2013)

I'm down 2 pant sizes so I treated myself to a new pair of jeans. I would have assumed that going through this would have caused me to binge. boy was I wrong.


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## Calibre12 (Nov 27, 2012)

10 in two weeks after DDay #1


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

I started sleeping pills over the counter and have reduced my coffee and now I drink slimfast or special K protien drinks to make sure I have something in me. I do force feed myself alittle each day also because I already have had low blood sugar for years.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Carlton (Sep 15, 2012)

I was working out to be more attractive to my wife and had lost 10 pounds. I found out she was cheating and lost 25 more pounds in less than a month.

One night I remember going pee about 20 times, full bladder each time. Not even thirsty in the morning. I probably lost 5 pounds that night alone. I paced constantly. Morning, noon and night. I have lost 6 inches off my waist, and am keeping it off.

The job I have affords me to walk constantly or I can sit on my ass all day. I used to be on my ass, even now I am pacing a good portion of the time and I am over 5 months out on this. I also have flexible hours. I would show up to work at 3am with 2-3 hours of sleep. Stay till 11am and pace at home.

I am now 175lbs, thanks to the discovery diet. I will be losing another 130 lbs of dead weight in a few months when the divorce is final.


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## bfree (Sep 30, 2012)

I lost 120 pounds. But it wasn't a diet. It was called divorce.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AshS (Jan 11, 2013)

Carlton said:


> I am now 175lbs, thanks to the discovery diet. I will be losing another 130 lbs of dead weight in a few months when the divorce is final.



lol...Everytime someone asks me how much I've lost I tell them & then say "and since I'm no longer with my husband I've also lost his 190 lbs of bulls*** too"


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## Bee2012 (Dec 8, 2012)

I lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks. I am 5'1. Weighed 98 and went down to 88. Not a good look on me. Any of you BH on here ever watch that movie The Machinist with Christian Bale? Did any of you get close to looking like that? I can't picture really thin and haggard without thinking of that movie.
Chopsy, protein shakes worked for me. Not the nasty ensure type but like EA brand protein powder, or 23 gram protein shakes bc hey don't taste as strong as those others. Also, I used to smell Ginger to keep from feeling nauseous. Like when I had morning sickness. Funny thing, is you never feel hungry when you are going through this. You can run on empty it seem.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

"Most doctors and nutritionist state that the average person can live about 4 to 6 weeks without food, but a week is a miracle without water. "

I didn't drink much water either and barely slept. After about 2 weeks I started to worry about myself for my children and forced the fluids and food. The most I ate was on Christmas day....then back to ramen noodles (not sure why ramen noodles...just handy and easy I guess).


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

26 pounds so far.

Some weeks I stabilize-then I get on the scales and I'm down again.

Friends say I look great.

I don't feel it. Mine is called "The abandonment diet"


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## canttrustu (Feb 22, 2012)

oncehisangel said:


> 26 pounds so far.
> 
> Some weeks I stabilize-then I get on the scales and I'm down again.
> 
> ...


Do they know why you've lost all this weight? It seems odd to compliment someone on losing weight bc they are so miserable they cant eat... When I lost weight my friends were saying "OMG. Youre gonna be sick. You have to eat. Let me get you a milkshake or anything. You have to take better care of yourself"........

Losing weight because your spouse has broken your heart is not the best way to go and surely your friends know that.


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

Yep ramen noodles seem easy to get down
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oncehisangel (Oct 13, 2012)

canttrustu said:


> Do they know why you've lost all this weight? It seems odd to compliment someone on losing weight bc they are so miserable they cant eat... When I lost weight my friends were saying "OMG. Youre gonna be sick. You have to eat. Let me get you a milkshake or anything. You have to take better care of yourself"........
> 
> Losing weight because your spouse has broken your heart is not the best way to go and surely your friends know that.


Some do. My close friends try and feed me.

I am well known in my area. These are mostly past clients.

It's hard to tell the story over and over- so I don't now.


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## MattMatt (May 19, 2012)

Chopsy said:


> But I wouldn't recommend it as it breaks your heart.
> 
> Anyone struggling to eat since d-day? I've lost 10 pounds, struggle to eat. The weird thing is stuff I used to like I now dislike. Like cheese, chocolate, dairy, even ice cream. I can't seem to make a proper meal. I drink tea, will manage a small plain yogurt. I eat oranges and the odd banana but I'm getting tired of bananas. I don't eat bread as it bloats me so much. I don't like bacon or sausages anymore. My appetite is very small. Went out for a meal with two friends last week and as it was a steak house, I had a steak, ate less than half.
> 
> ...


Could you try diet shakes? They have vitamins and so on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mad6r (Dec 31, 2012)

14lbs in 17 days here, I'm actually lighther than what my DL says now. It's hard to eat but I do in smaller portions as it seems that I get full rather quickly. Before my WW left I would eat 3 meals a day and then some. Now I'm lucky if I get 2 in.


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## BrokenVows (Oct 12, 2012)

30 lbs. since d-day on October 1st. At first I was too nauseous to eat and really didn't even think about food, can't even remember if/what I ate during the first couple of weeks I was in such a daze.

I understand the stress eaters statement, because I use to be one of those people. However, this is a different kind of stress, the kind that is unimaginable. Betrayal is something that food can't comfort.

Once I came out of the daze I started eating healthy foods and got back into my work out regime (which is great for burning off some steam). It then became a healthy weight loss instead of a tragic one. This time it's for good and it's for ME.


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## Chopsy (Oct 10, 2012)

Bee2012 said:


> I lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks. I am 5'1. Weighed 98 and went down to 88. Not a good look on me. Any of you BH on here ever watch that movie The Machinist with Christian Bale? Did any of you get close to looking like that? I can't picture really thin and haggard without thinking of that movie.
> Chopsy, protein shakes worked for me. Not the nasty ensure type but like EA brand protein powder, or 23 gram protein shakes bc hey don't taste as strong as those others. Also, I used to smell Ginger to keep from feeling nauseous. Like when I had morning sickness. Funny thing, is you never feel hungry when you are going through this. You can run on empty it seem.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hope you can stabilise your weight now, 88 lbs is small even at 5'1. I'm short too, am at 115 so can still lose more without it getting to be a problem, weight-wise. I also get nauseous from time to time. Ginger does help a bit. 

Think i have some protein powder around, that's a great idea! I really struggle to get any protein in me, the usual proteins fill me up after a bite or two,plus they need cooking, which is just beyond me at the moment.


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

I have lost 50 pounds since end of October. Everyday I do 5 miles at an incline on the treadmill to clear my head and work out my anxiety, but the thought of food makes me ill, so I barely eat. At least now I can't be called a fat *****. I look fantastic! He still needs to look in the mirror to see his frank and beans.


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## LookingForTheSun (Dec 28, 2011)

SaltInWound said:


> At least now I can't be called a fat *****. I look fantastic! He still needs to look in the mirror to see his frank and beans.


Oh my gosh! I love it! You go girl! (side note - you made me laugh so hard)...

Beans - YouTube


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## SaltInWound (Jan 2, 2013)

LookingForTheSun said:


> Oh my gosh! I love it! You go girl! (side note - you made me laugh so hard)...
> 
> Beans - YouTube


:lol: Yep!


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## ladybird (Jun 16, 2010)

CantSitStill said:


> It sucks when people ask you "how did you lose all that weight" I tell them stress. They say "stress makes me eat" well I think to myself maybe they don't know what real stress is. I am the WS btw and it's been almost a year since D day. Still have to make myself eat , hate eating.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I am the exact same way.. I don't eat when totally stressed. Food is the last thing on my mind


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

How about beer for calories? lol I know not good..just kidding, especially not good on an empty stomach
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bee2012 (Dec 8, 2012)

Chopsy said:


> Hope you can stabilise your weight now, 88 lbs is small even at 5'1. I'm short too, am at 115 so can still lose more without it getting to be a problem, weight-wise. I also get nauseous from time to time. Ginger does help a bit.
> 
> Think i have some protein powder around, that's a great idea! I really struggle to get any protein in me, the usual proteins fill me up after a bite or two,plus they need cooking, which is just beyond me at the moment.


Chopsy, try the protein powder with water first if dairy is making you sick. And it goes down easier ice cold. Cheese sticks are good for protein too. I hope you feel better soon. . Yes my weight is good now, and I have a nice appetite.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## margrace (Aug 12, 2012)

i lost 20 lbs and i was already pretty small. 

stress and fatigue used to make me eat more, too.... i had never before had this experience of feeling literally NO HUNGER EVER. i knew enough to make myself eat, but had trouble keeping the food down.

i became weak, forgetful, had dizzy spells, and caught colds. i'm getting healthy again now, though, 10 months after d-day. i still don't actually feel hungry very often but i don't have any trouble eating. i am sleeping again and i feel much better.

i'm never sure either what to say when people comment on it. they have usually been expressing concern in my case.


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

I do sleep better now, actually I sleep pretty good. Love to sleep and could sleep 15 hours straight. Kinda lost my motivation since I lost my job. As for eating tho I still struggle with it and it's been a year.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mrs_Mathias (Nov 19, 2012)

I'm a WW, and it can't compare to what BS's go through, but I have also lost a substantial amount of weight over the course of my affair and D-Days. The worst is people who don't know complimenting me and telling me I look better than ever. It's horrifying to be complimented when you hate yourself so much.

I have resorted to Xanax when I have my panic attacks that induce nausea or vomiting, and I try to at least sip one of those fruit smoothie blends from the grocery store like Bolton's or whatever when I really can't eat. There's nothing but fruit/veggies in them, no sugar, preservatives, etc. and my body needs the calories and vitamins.

So sorry for everyone who's going through this. I'm just trying to be health conscious and maintain my weight through exercise and eating healthier.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CantSitStill (Feb 7, 2012)

Mrs_Mathias said:


> I'm a WW, and it can't compare to what BS's go through, but I have also lost a substantial amount of weight over the course of my affair and D-Days. The worst is people who don't know complimenting me and telling me I look better than ever. It's horrifying to be complimented when you hate yourself so much.
> 
> I have resorted to Xanax when I have my panic attacks that induce nausea or vomiting, and I try to at least sip one of those fruit smoothie blends from the grocery store like Bolton's or whatever when I really can't eat. There's nothing but fruit/veggies in them, no sugar, preservatives, etc. and my body needs the calories and vitamins.
> 
> ...


I understand, I am the WW also and I've had panic disorder all my life, but with all that's happened it's gotten alot worse. I am also on xanax and I am guilty of giving it to my husband at times when he's triggering out real bad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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