# Young newlyweds in a near sexless marriage.



## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

I've been married to my wife for 7 months now. We dated a little over a year before we got married and we didn't have much of a sex life before then because she felt guilty of having sex before marriage. So we waited until marriage we have sex here and there, about 2-3 times per month. I'm 27 and she is 26 (5 month difference). I ask her about it and she always say that she is tired. She works 40 hrs per week and school 3-3.5 hrs per week day time hours and I work 40 sometimes 65 hr weeks evening/nights. I try to initiate sex with my wife but she just lies in bed motionless most of the time. She never reaches over and grab my penis or anything when in bed (or anywhere for that matter). Our biggest arguments have been about the lack of sex or intimacy. What should/could I do? I can understand being tired from work because my job is physically and mentally and often emotionally taxing but its like she has no interest in sex period and only does it the few times a month to keep me from saying we don't have sex at all. We don't have any kids at all.[/SIZE]


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## justonelife (Jul 29, 2010)

Does she enjoy it when you have it? Did she have any experience prior to you?


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

You are going to have to furnish more information. When you two argue about this, what do you say and what does she say?

About being tired, is it this way every day? Weekends included.


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

justonelife said:


> Does she enjoy it when you have it? Did she have any experience prior to you?


She says that she enjoys it and it seems like she does.


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> its like she has no interest in sex period and only does it the few times a month to keep me from saying we don't have sex at all. *We don't have any kids at all.*[/SIZE]


What is the plan in terms of having kids? Is it possible she is concerned about birth control failure?


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

tyler1978 said:


> You are going to have to furnish more information. When you two argue about this, what do you say and what does she say?
> 
> About being tired, is it this way every day? Weekends included.


I tell her that it doesn't make me feel wanted. I have asked her if she found me attractive. She says that she does and that her thing is I don't "romance" her. I bring her candy a flowers here and there and we go out to eat when our schedules allow. She complained about picking up behind me so I went an extra step and took over cleaning the apartment because she feels that she have to clean if there were dishes in the sink and there is really no change. She always feels tired when she gets in from work.


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

jdd said:


> What is the plan in terms of having kids? Is it possible she is concerned about birth control failure?


We're looking at mid next year or the beginning of 2015. I don't know if she is scared of he pills failing or not.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> I tell her that it doesn't make me feel wanted. I have asked her if she found me attractive. She says that she does and that her thing is I don't "romance" her. I bring her candy a flowers here and there and we go out to eat when our schedules allow. She complained about picking up behind me so I went an extra step and took over cleaning the apartment because she feels that she have to clean if there were dishes in the sink and there is really no change. She always feels tired when she gets in from work.


Why do you think that she is always tired? Does she ever have off days?

My wife is always tired now because she is pregnant. Prior to that, it was because she let her job take number one priority in her life.


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

tyler1978 said:


> Why do you think that she is always tired? Does she ever have off days?
> 
> My wife is always tired now because she is pregnant. Prior to that, it was because she let her job take number one priority in her life.


She sometimes blames it on her anxiety medicine but has energy to go places with her friends or go get her hair or eye brows done or anything else that she really want to do. She works 8hrs a day Mon-Fri and has class one night a week for about 3 hrs.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> She sometimes blames it on her anxiety medicine but has energy to go places with her friends or go get her hair or eye brows done or anything else that she really want to do. She works 8hrs a day Mon-Fri and has class one night a week for about 3 hrs.


Does she ever self-satisfy when you are not around? 

On the weekends, how is she?


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

tyler1978 said:


> Does she ever self-satisfy when you are not around?
> 
> On the weekends, how is she?


If she does, I'd never know. On the weekend she stays in bed most of the day and will get up, shower, fix something to eat and get back in bed and watch tv unless she goes to her parents house or movies with her friends.


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> We're looking at mid next year or the beginning of 2015. I don't know if she is scared of he pills failing or not.


It's worth having a conversation about. Fear of an unexpected pregnancy can be a complete libido killer. 

If this is a concern she could get a paraguard if your insurance will cover it. They are reversible in just a couple days and have few side effects for most people. The failure rate is extremely low, around the same failure rate as a tubal ligation.

I suspect there might be other emotional issues at play, but I would ask her flat out if she is worried about an unplanned pregnancy and *watch *what her response is.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> If she does, I'd never know. On the weekend she stays in bed most of the day and will get up, shower, fix something to eat and get back in bed and watch tv unless she goes to her parents house or movies with her friends.


This thread is about you but your story sounds a bit similar to mine. Do you ever try being loving, nonsexual, and liberal in your touches? If so, how does she react. 

Also, have you stopped initiating? If so, what resulted?


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

tyler1978 said:


> Does she ever self-satisfy when you are not around?
> 
> On the weekends, how is she?


Well if you're feeling brave you could google magic wand and Lelo.

Might want to start with the magic wand, it's way less intimidating to introduce than the lelo products.

She might just be inexperianced as well and need help getting more in tune with her body.


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

tyler1978 said:


> This thread is about you but your story sounds a bit similar to mine. Do you ever try being loving, nonsexual, and liberal in your touches? If so, how does she react.
> 
> Also, have you stopped initiating? If so, what resulted?


Yes I try, our kisses are even just pecks now and I have to ask for a real kiss. I always try to touch her nonsexually, holding hands, cuddling, ext she likes it but there isn't any change. I have stopped trying to initiate and its like she almost doesn't notice. I lose sleep over it at times and there have been times where not a word was spoken for several weeks.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> Yes I try, our kisses are even just pecks now and I have to ask for a real kiss. I always try to touch her nonsexually, holding hands, cuddling, ext she likes it but there isn't any change. I have stopped trying to initiate and its like she almost doesn't notice. I lose sleep over it at times and there have been times where not a word was spoken for several weeks.


Some possibilities are what Jdd has mentioned about fear of an unplanned pregnancy or that she may be depressed. In normal daily life, is she pretty happy?

Consider reading Married Man's Sex Life Primer or No more Mr. Nice guy. I can't guarantee success. I took similar advice to what is given in those two books and stand at 5 or 6 sex sessions this year so far. However, they are well written and could be of use.


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## 241happyhour (Jan 31, 2011)

Y'all need to talk, try the Married man book/blog thing and talk some more. Just don't be one of these guys on here that have been married for 10+ years and wish they would have done something different. By all means, don't get her pregnant until y'all get this issue a worked out. 
Good Luck--life is too short to be in a sexless marriage.


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

tyler1978 said:


> Consider reading Married Man's Sex Life Primer or No more Mr. Nice guy. I can't guarantee success. I took similar advice to what is given in those two books and stand at 5 or 6 sex sessions this year so far. However, they are well written and could be of use.


I feel these are worth reading overall. Thought there may be deeper issues that only good communication can solve.

I implemented (e.g. showing more confidence, being a bit aloof at times, etc.) just a couple things from the above texts (not even having ever finished reading them) and found that I had amazing results. Now she initiates basically every night. So yes, they are worth a read, but your results may vary. In my relationship we have been working on overcoming some other serious issues in our life and we have done a ton of communication with each other also.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

Unfortunately she showed you her true colors before you married her, but for whatever reason you refused to believe it. Now she's got you, and her days of trying appear to be over. The future does not look good. Expect it to get worse once you have kids. Much worse. Personally, with the benefit of 20 years of hindsight, if I were back in your position I'd bolt.


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## jdd (Aug 30, 2013)

WorkingOnMe said:


> Unfortunately she showed you her true colors before you married her, but for whatever reason you refused to believe it. Now she's got you, and her days of trying appear to be over. The future does not look good. Expect it to get worse once you have kids. Much worse. Personally, with the benefit of 20 years of hindsight, if I were back in your position I'd bolt.


Perhaps... But assuming you like the other parts of your life together; I'd put some effort into trying to figure out what the hold out might be before you give up. 

Some of the very most complex problems end up coming down to the simplest of solutions.

It may or may not be worth the effort to you to figure out what the root cause of the problem is here. But the solution if there is one is going to come from good communication with each other, which takes time.

_Time for a quick story....

About a year ago we got a smallish "portable" hot tub and set it up in the basement. We didn't use it much at first, we had got it for our injured / ill dog to swim in. After a while we started to go in it together once in a while. Now we go in it almost every single night. It gives us usually around a hour, sometimes more together just to talk with no distractions - no phones, no tv's, etc. Just us, not really anything else to do but to talk to each other, or well, do other things with each other. _

Find a way to force your selves to be together for a significant amount of time without distraction on a daily (or close to it) basis. Spending all that time alone together I bet you will start to figure things out.

I hate to go here, but are you sure she doesn't have an emotional attachment to anyone else?


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## mineforever (Jan 31, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> She sometimes blames it on her anxiety medicine but has energy to go places with her friends or go get her hair or eye brows done or anything else that she really want to do. She works 8hrs a day Mon-Fri and has class one night a week for about 3 hrs.


Is she on an anti depressant? They can kill a persons libido.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

mineforever said:


> Is she on an anti depressant? They can kill a persons libido.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


No


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

Which anti anxiety med is she on? Some women experience low libido with certain medications and some become unable to orgasm.

Does she have orgasms? Have you asked her?

If you read this board much you are going to see many men in sexless marriages. They state they cannot leave because of their children and financial situations.

People CAN change and can be different sexually. However, the possibility that she may always be this way is a real one. I would urge you to attempt to resolve this brought therapy before bringing children into this situation.

Ive been married 18 years and have a lot of peers in this length of marriage. Sexual differences are very difficult to resolve. I'm having the same sexual arguments with my husband that we were having 18 years ago. It really gets weary - and I'm not in a sexless marriage like many here are.

I'm sorry you are already in this situation.


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## MissScarlett (May 22, 2013)

I forgot to mention - if you haven't already you might read The 5 Love Languages. Your wife could just be making excuses about sex - but its also possible that the two of you aren't speaking in each others love languages. By reading the book and taking the quiz she may realize you see sex as love while she needs acts of service to feel love. As an example.


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## Theseus (Feb 22, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> She says that she enjoys it and it seems like she does.


But previously you said "she just lies in bed motionless most of the time". So why do you believe she is enjoying sex?


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

Do not have kids until you get this sorted out. This is something that can really wreck you down the road, and once kids come along, it gets SO much tougher to fix.


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## ManOhMan2013 (Aug 1, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> I've been married to my wife for 7 months now. We dated a little over a year before we got married and we didn't have much of a sex life before then because she felt guilty of having sex before marriage. So we waited until marriage we have sex here and there, about 2-3 times per month. I'm 27 and she is 26 (5 month difference). I ask her about it and she always say that she is tired. She works 40 hrs per week and school 3-3.5 hrs per week day time hours and I work 40 sometimes 65 hr weeks evening/nights. I try to initiate sex with my wife but she just lies in bed motionless most of the time. She never reaches over and grab my penis or anything when in bed (or anywhere for that matter). Our biggest arguments have been about the lack of sex or intimacy. What should/could I do? I can understand being tired from work because my job is physically and mentally and often emotionally taxing but its like she has no interest in sex period and only does it the few times a month to keep me from saying we don't have sex at all. We don't have any kids at all.[/SIZE]


I just don't understand how this happens all the time. Maybe married people are only meant to have sex for babies and not enjoyment. Maybe we all see sex the wrong way.  I'm sorry you're going through this.


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## PHTlump (Jun 2, 2010)

bt38019 said:


> We're looking at mid next year or the beginning of 2015. I don't know if she is scared of he pills failing or not.


Say what? You actually have a PLAN to have kids in a sexless marriage? That's like making a plan to bring propane into a burning building.

There has never, in the history of sexless marriages, been a single case where having kids helped matters. Your best case scenario is the status quo. If you have a kid and continue to get sex twice a month, congratulations. You beat the odds.

And frankly, that's a long shot. Given your wife's history of using various excuses for avoiding sex, I can tell you that nothing works as an excuse to avoid sex like kids.

Frankly, claiming that doing the dishes wiped her out so much that she can't have sex is pretty ridiculous. But claiming that waking up every two hours to feed a baby has sapped your libido is a fantastic excuse.

Basically, you need to run the MAP. Stop making her feel safe in denying you sex. If there is a medical reason related to her anti-depressants, then she needs to get that sorted out. If not, then she needs to start working on getting her libido back. If she refuses, then move on. The most likely reason she is refusing you sex is that she's just not that attracted to you. Sorry. I know she says she is. What can I say? Women sometimes lie.

Good luck.
Married Man Sex Life | How to have the marriage you thought you were going to have. By which I mean doing it like rabbits.


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## Hicks (Jan 14, 2011)

The best way to improve your sex life is to make her understand that there is no way you will have children with her in a marriage like this, and will be leaving if it does not improve by such and such a date.

Then sit back and watch.


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## Knobbers (Sep 25, 2013)

In my opinion, either she has a low libido or she isn't that into you. Has she ever had an orgasm? Usually, lack of sex gets worse not better, the longer you are with somebody.

I don't know enough about your situation to offer much help, all I can stress is communication. You need to explain to her how important intimacy is to you and your marriage. Do it in a way that isn't confrontational and see how she responds. If she isn't very sympathetic or engaged in the conversation, then you have your answer. If she is sensitive and pissy about it, that is even worse.

It could be many different things, the only way you can find out is with constant productive communication. If she has never had an orgasm, you need to help her experience one. This is something you guys can work through together and gives you guys plenty of reasons to practice regularly. Try not to put too much pressure on her, but don't let her blow you off either. If you guys agree to make changes, make her stick to them. Some people will change temporarily and then go back to their original ways if you let them.

Don't be too nice and go out of your way to do things around the house, if she isn't reciprocating. I'm not saying live tit for tat, but rewarding poor behavior is a no no and will only cause some people to take more advantage of you. 

I know my thoughts are all over the place, but I'm trying to multi task. I just hate this situation you are in and there are far too many marriages that work like yours is. My wife and I found that the more intimate we are, the more in love we fall with each other. I know there are biological reasons for this, so it makes total sense to me.

Best of luck and feel free to pm me with any questions you may have. My wife and I are intimate 6 times a week on average and I can always share what works for us.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

If you are having issues at this stage in the proverbial game, you need to do some serious re-examining of the relationship. You seem to want to keep it so I would put on the full court press. The longer you wait, the harder it gets.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

Couple things you need to keep in mind.

1. Most women take a few years, at best, of sexual activity before they freely and fully enjoy it. They have to learn their own body, their moods, what feels good and what feels great. Lots of times they simply don't know how to enjoy sex. So give that some time.

2. Most women who remain a Virgin till marriage, for religious reasons, have YEARS of teaching they have to forget. The teaching that tells them to bottle up their desire, the teaching that tells them men only want one thing, the teaching that tells them only slVts like sex, the teaching that tells them a lady doesn't ever touch herself, the teaching that tells them certain sex acts are degrading or disgusting and foul... I could on and on. The message of virginity is fine and dandy but it's rarely delivered with permission to masturbate to your hearts content, right? So she has spent years repressing herself and now cause she walked down the aisle all that repression is supposed to go away. Well it doesn't. And lots of time it never does without some serious hard work.

3. The way you describe you wife, she sounds like a lazy pampered princess type. This does not bode well for someone who has to do some serious hard work to undo years of sexual repression.

4. You can't nice your way into her panties. You must give YOURSELF permission to have a sex drive, to desire sex with your wife, and insist she address her lack of sex drive.

5. I strongly urge you to put kids on the back burner for two years. During the next two years your wife learns to become UNrepressed, finds her sex drive and begins a wonderful marriage full of explorative sex. If she can't do that, and it's mostly on her to communicate her needs and her desires though you should be asking her regularly, then this marriage is going to be in this same state, for the next 40 years. If you can cope with that...by all means have at it.

Christian Nymphos | Married Sex: Spicy, the way God intended it to be!

A web site for Christians who need permission to be sexual.


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

Well what normally happens in cases that I'm off work when she gets home is I'll be on the couch watching tv and she comes in and goes straight to the bed room changes clothes after she showers and eats dinner.....in the bedroom. At that point her main focus is television. I can understand the unwinding moment after getting off work but that quickly evolves into sleep. 
When I work I normally get off around 10pm and home around 1030-11pm. I'm not the kinda guy that just hangs out after work hitting the bar and stuff, I come home to my wife because after a night of dealing with everyone else's problems I am focusing on me and mine. I'm a cop in a crazy city so you can almost guess the things I see during my eight hours. I come home and want some attention from my wife and 99.9% of the time I get the "Do Not Disturb" sign. 
On the weekends when she is off, she sleeps late and is pretty much in bed all day. I get up and hit the gym (I'm in the best of shape but I'm trying) and in most cases come home and get ready for work unless I have the weekend off. 
I'll try to initiate when we are in bed but all I get is squirming and wining and she turns her back to me. I'll try caressing her but nothing. I can forget kissing her in most cases because her back is to me. I go to sleep most nights frustrated because she doesn't even attempt to make out and will only go through with sex as stated two times a month, three times if I'm extra good. I find myself getting up and going to the living room and and playing video games and even leaving to go back to the gym for a second workout.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

When you describe your schedule, it leaves me thinking you two pretty much ignore each other.

How many times a week do you two eat meals together, facing each other? Change that from whatever it is to at least 6 meals together, TV off! Breakfast, lunch, dinner, doesn't matter. 6 meals eating together!

When she comes home, your on the couch. Get up, meet her at the door. Tell her a out your day. Help her prepare her meal, if you've already eaten. Be with her.

You are starting affection in bed. Bad bad move many new husbands make. Affection is ongoing, through out the day. Kissing, rubbing one another's back. If you had the day off when she returns home from work, run her a bubble bath with candles and soothing music. Let her get settled into the tub then either sit in there with her and talk about her day, plans for the weekend, what color to paint the bathroom...

Think back to when you were dating. When you two were together, you were together, interacting with each other. From what you describe now, you two are never together and interacting with each other. From what you describe, you both seem lonely and disconnected. Sex will not bring back the connection with your wife. First you bring back the connection by spending significant time with each other every day, affection throughout the day and talking. Then you tackle the sex issue.


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## Devotee (Sep 22, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> If she does, I'd never know. On the weekend she stays in bed most of the day and will get up, shower, fix something to eat and get back in bed and watch tv unless she goes to her parents house or movies with her friends.



I find the fact that she stays in bed most of the time on the weekends a little alarming. Does she not want to get out and do things together with you? You mentioned anxiety meds. Is she dealing with depression?


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

Anon Pink said:


> When you describe your schedule, it leaves me thinking you two pretty much ignore each other.
> 
> How many times a week do you two eat meals together, facing each other? Change that from whatever it is to at least 6 meals together, TV off! Breakfast, lunch, dinner, doesn't matter. 6 meals eating together!
> 
> ...


I do some of those things already. I clean up when I'm off to keep her from having to, I often will cook or take her out to eat as long as it doable. I've rubbed her feet and back, I've cuddled with her without trying to have sex. I've brought her flowers and candy home when I get off work. I do make an attempt to talk about her day and tell her about mine. As for eating together everyday, unless I'm off work or she is, not going to work. I work weekends 9 months out of the year and she has weekends off every month every week. That is how she is, that is the example of a wife that her mother has set. I've seen it with my own eyes. Yes there is a disconnect and I have relayed that to her but she does the same things. She told me that it would take a load off of her to come in to a clean living room and kitchen and she gets that. She doesn't have to wash my clothes because I always do mine at the end of my work week. I make sure every dish is clean is put away, all my clothes are hung and anything I put down I pick up. Yet she comes in gives me a peck and runs in the room. No I'm not going to chase her everyday and make her give me affection.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

She told you who she was before you married. Not in words, but in actions (and those are almost always true). It wasn't "guilt" before marriage and it isn't "fatigue", now. For whatever reason, she's not into sex, never has been into sex, and basically entered into a marriage under fraudulent pretense. She said "I do" knowing full well that she'd avoid the sex part as much as possible.


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## Anon Pink (Jan 17, 2013)

bt38019 said:


> I do some of those things already. I clean up when I'm off to keep her from having to, I often will cook or take her out to eat as long as it doable. I've rubbed her feet and back, I've cuddled with her without trying to have sex. I've brought her flowers and candy home when I get off work. I do make an attempt to talk about her day and tell her about mine. As for eating together everyday, unless I'm off work or she is, not going to work. I work weekends 9 months out of the year and she has weekends off every month every week. That is how she is, that is the example of a wife that her mother has set. I've seen it with my own eyes. Yes there is a disconnect and I have relayed that to her but she does the same things. She told me that it would take a load off of her to come in to a clean living room and kitchen and she gets that. She doesn't have to wash my clothes because I always do mine at the end of my work week. I make sure every dish is clean is put away, all my clothes are hung and anything I put down I pick up. Yet she comes in gives me a peck and runs in the room. No I'm not going to chase her everyday and make her give me affection.


And she wasn't like this before you got married?

You've done a LOT to make a connection and you describe a woman who basically shows no care what so ever for the state of the relationship. In fact it seems like she is throwing up walls and hurdles right left and center.

So you have to ask yourself how long can this go on before something has to give? While I agree sex is an issue and it's the issue that hit your first and hardest, it's not the main issue.

Her ability to connect with you, to make time for you, to show you she cares and to care for you seem to be non existent. What kind of care and concern did she show prior to marriage and when did it start to go south?

Cops tend to be rescuers. They may not see beyond the damsel in distress to the lady with some serious baggage. Do you think this might fit you?

I hate to say this, cause I hate it when zebra hunters see a horse and yell zebra... But did she have a difficult childhood? Is there a possibility she was molested as a child?


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Dude, you're trying to shoot a moving target. If you "fix" this alleged fatigue issue, she'll come up with another excuse. You fixed the "not married' problem but she still can't find her vagina. She can play this game for the next 60 years and you'll be just another guy on here complaining about lack of sex. The problem isn't you. It isn't a marriage license, it isn't fatigue. She's just not into sex or not into you. I wouldn't waste a lot more of my time trying to unravel this mystery.


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

unbelievable said:


> She told you who she was before you married. Not in words, but in actions (and those are almost always true). It wasn't "guilt" before marriage and it isn't "fatigue", now. For whatever reason, she's not into sex, never has been into sex, and basically entered into a marriage under fraudulent pretense. She said "I do" knowing full well that she'd avoid the sex part as much as possible.


You have a point there. She was all over me and always kissing and we made out and always saying that she couldn't wait until we were married and make love to me every night (though I didn't expect EVERY night).


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

Obama told me he'd cut the deficit. Folks lie to get a position they are interested in.


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## bt38019 (Oct 3, 2013)

unbelievable said:


> Obama told me he'd cut the deficit. Folks lie to get a position they are interested in.


Lol!


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## 6301 (May 11, 2013)

My advice to you is first, sit her down and let her know in a very serious manner, the kind of way that you have her attention and tell her that you have gone the extra mile when it comes to making dinner, cleaning the house, all the stuff to make it easier because she's always tired and your getting nothing in return. Tell her that your tired of her laying there in bed like a mannequin and that she's shows very little affection and your tired of it. Let her know that you will refuse "Pity sex" and if she wants the marriage to work, then she had better figure out what the problem she has and fix it or the marriage will be in serious trouble. 

Next thing I would do is tell her to get her ass out of bed on Saturdays for a change and do something besides lay around all day. We all would like to do that. Once in a while is nice but now it's a bad habit. Then I would put it all on her back and tell her, that the ball is in her court and it's up to her to either improve herself and the marriage or you can discuss alternatives. 

Let her carry the load for a change. Maybe if she see's that your tired of living this way and always on the giving side and getting nothing in return, she'll pull the stick out of her butt and do something to improve this marriage. Don't play games and from now on, do what you only have to do around the house, don't hug her or kiss her in a affectionate way, and give her a dose of her own medicine.


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## WorkingOnMe (Mar 17, 2012)

I'll bet you 50 bucks if you tell her you don't think it's working and you want to separate and think about divorce that she'll be all over you. If she gets it in her head that she's about to get dumped for lack of sex, she'll be begging for it. By being too accommodating you're your own worst enemy.


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

mineforever said:


> Is she on an anti depressant? They can kill a persons libido.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


dead on...as does anti-anxiety meds....these KILL focus, which kills sex

so not only does she not want to have sex, but she spends the entire weekend in bed??? wow...id look into marriage counseling and independant for her as well...sounds like there are multiple issues there


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

WorkingOnMe said:


> I'll bet you 50 bucks if you tell her you don't think it's working and you want to separate and think about divorce that she'll be all over you. If she gets it in her head that she's about to get dumped for lack of sex, she'll be begging for it. By being too accommodating you're your own worst enemy.


Perhaps, and that would last a hot minute. Go that route and I predict she suddenly becomes pregnant and the drought will begin anew.


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