# Expensive hobby



## AFW8 (Oct 24, 2010)

Okay so my husband has an annoying expensive hobby. He likes cars and likes to make them faster. We both work and we don't have children so we can definitely afford these expenses. The problem I have is that we never go on any vacations, nor did we ever go on a honeymoon. Now I'm not talking about doing anything extravagant, I would be happy with Sea World, and just destinations as such. A couple of yrs ago we were supposed to go to Sea World in San Antonio and I had the hotel booked, we both marked days off from work. Two days before we leave, he has no money because he bought a set of wheels that cost $1500 plus. Not sure on the price because I told him I didn't want to know. TRIP DIDNT HAPPEN!!! I was livid with him, and im not going t lie, when i think about i get pissed off all over again. We went to some log cabin thing, with spiders, and no TV. We both said it was horrible! I would have to save up money from my income only to pay for a vacation for us. 
My other problem, is that sometimes he spends all his free time working on his car. He pays me no attention to me and it honestly hurts my feelings. He comes back with " we don't have to be up eachothers ass all the time" and then he said "you can't possibly love me so much, that you want to be with me all the time" I just looked at him with teary eyes and thought wow if that is really want he thinks, that's so sad!
Other times everything is awesome and we watch movies together, go out to eat. I just want know that there are other spouses that feel like me and if you have opinions mean or nice ill take anything. Thanks!
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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Two issues...

Money - if you both work and can afford stuff like his car hobby, why not take your money and arrange a vacation? If you really want one, you will have to take the bull by the horns and do it yourself.

Time together - You say "Other times everything is awesome". You are almost implying that you want ALL time to be awesome. Maybe you can explain what amount of time is spent working, sleeping, together and him on his hobby. Because it sounds like he IS spending time with you, but not enough for you.

But in the end, it's all about compromise for both of you.


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## AFW8 (Oct 24, 2010)

I agree, it is all about compromise. And I'm not going to lie, I know its mostly me needing and wanting to be together all the time. And maybe its because when we were dating, we literally spent all our time together. I do a lot to participate in his hobby. I go watch him race everytime, I'm out there in the garage watching or helping him work on his car. And I've pretty much now realized that I will have to foot the bill for a vacation, but I don't think its fair because she does make more money than I. I guess I get frustrated when a whole weekend was spent in the garage when we could have gone to a movie or dinner, or something that doesn't have anything to do with cars.
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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Perhaps prepare a budget together. It doesn't sound as though you and your husband are on the same page with finances.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

827Aug said:


> Perhaps prepare a budget together. It doesn't sound as though you and your husband are on the same page with finances.


A budget for money AND TIME, since time seems to be the issue.


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## magnoliagal (Mar 30, 2011)

On the time I know it's hard but what he's saying is he needs alone time away from you so he'll have something to miss. Now the way YOU handle it is you find something else to do. Make some friends, take up a hobby on your own, go out, take a class, join a gym, do something other than sit at home and focus on the part where his attention is elsewhere. Go have fun!! 

If I could go back and be double income no kids I'd be all over the fun. I don't think I'd care so much what my husband did as long as spent some time together each day.


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## unbelievable (Aug 20, 2010)

I do see your frustration but I suppose I tend to paint things in light of what they otherwise could be. Working on cars is an expensive, annoying hobby, but not as expensive or annoying as him having a girlfriend or a meth lab. If the worst thing someone can say about your husband is that he tinkers on cars, he must be a pretty decent guy. Who knows? His hobby might bring in tons of money some day. In any case, he's not drunk, in jail, running from the law, running around on you, confused about his sexual identity, unemployed, in a psych. institution, or driving up and down the interstate in a panel van looking for murder victims. Life could be worse.


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## AFW8 (Oct 24, 2010)

Thanks everyone! And I totally agree that a hobby is something I need I just don't have a lot of things that interest me. I have recently become in contact with my really good friend from elementary. We've been shopping, to the movies and such. So that's been kinda nice. Again thanks for opinions and advice.
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## heartbreaker (May 28, 2011)

Take a vacation of your own with friends and start spending some time with your own hobbies and he will realize. I sure know that I did


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