# Confused...wife is unhappy



## waynenewton (Jan 13, 2012)

My wife and I got married almost for the first 2.5 years things were great. 

This past April (2011) my had a miscarriage with what would have been our first child and was diagnosed with melanoma within the same week. It was really tough but we got through everything, got her health back to normal and started talking about again trying to get pregnant this fall. 

In November, 2011 my wife called me and said that her aunt and uncle had invited us down to the condo in Cabo San Lucas in January. I asked her if she wanted to go and as she started to cry said "I don't know it doesn't matter if I'm pregnant or not". I could tell this wasn't normal so I immediately left work and got home as soon as possible. 

My wife then told me that she wasn't happy. She said that she didn't know if it was me, our relationship, her job, us moving (we moved 2.5 hours away to a new city in July, 2011) or what it was but she just wasn't happy. She told me that she loved me, but she didn't know if she was in love with me. I told her that if she didn't want to be with me then she needed to leave me, however I would not make that decision. I did not come from divorce parents, and she did. I've been raised in my family that you exchange vows for a reason and that divorce is not an option. It's been almost three months and my wife hasn't moved out, still tells me she loves (when I say it first) and still calls me "babe" like she always has. Since this all began in November, 2011 I've sent her flowers to work as well as left her some letters and sent her some emails telling her how much I love her and want this to work. 

What should I do now? Should I continue to live as if things are normal and assume that she does love and just doesn't want to talk about it anymore, or should I bring up the conversation again?


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

You should have a heart to heart with her about whether or not she is still depressed. If she is, she should get help for it.


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## Red_Dolphin (Dec 27, 2011)

It could very well be depression. Mothers who have miscarriages can still suffer from post partum depression (been there). Plus there were many other major life events following that(diagnosis, moving).

Have you asked her if she still feels the way she did back in November? 

Have you tried MC? Or any kind of counseling/therapy?


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