# Need your critique on Cheaterville posting.



## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

Cantthinkstraight has inspired me to at least make a draft of posting the POSOM on Cheaterville. I was especially impressed with the part where he posts as the POSOM describing himself and I stole his idea. Of course, I've got a lot to think about before I would post this because I am a year and a half into R. Otherwise I would have done this a long time ago.

Thoughts, suggestions please.

_Hello, I’m ******

Don’t let my Gomer Pyle appearance fool you. And don’t worry about me being married - for almost 25 years. I might not be the smartest guy in the world, but I’m a player. Let me tell you about my last conquest; my wife’s best friend. She’s been married even longer than I have (lol).

I used my wife’s friendship with her to learn all about her. After lusting after her for years, I patiently waited until her marriage was having problems and then, bam, I made my move. Man it was great. We had sex everywhere. In my house, in her house, in my truck, in her mother’s house, hotels. When my clueless wife invited her over for get-togethers, we’d share secret looks and I’d look for ways to cop a feel behind her back. I got her to text me naked pictures and one time I even tried to talk her into doing a threesome with a buddy of mine. She wouldn’t, but you can’t blame a guy for trying (lol). We had a blast.

We Facebooked each other almost every day. I told her I loved her of course. But mostly I talked about the sex we had and my sex fantasies about her and me with another woman. I bragged to her about how proud I was to be shtooping her husband’s woman and how she’d do anything for me sexually. I told her I couldn’t wait to tell him to his face. Man, I called him every name in the book and let my wife have it as well. We shared all our marital secrets, in and out of the bedroom. I’d be sure to let her know when I had sex with my wife, because I’m just honest like that. But I told l her that when I did, I pretended it was her (lol). 

But the funniest thing, she thought I’d actually leave my wife for her. I told her my wife would take me to the cleaners if she found out, so she needed to be patient until “I got things in order” (lol). I was able to string her along for almost two years – before my wife found my phone records. But no problem, I convinced her it was just a friendship. She had no real proof, so she bought it. And she didn’t even tell her husband about it! 

So we stayed in touch for several more weeks – until her husband found my texts on her phone. Then he found my Facebook e-mail messages to her; all 3600 of them. I thought that once they were deleted they were gone, but her husband is some type of computer geek and recovered them. 

What a bummer. I dropped her like a hot potato of course. But the good news is, despite her husband sending all those e-mails and a letter to my wife, my wife believes anything I tell her. In fact my wife still wants to be friends with her, but her husband demanded they stop contact. Can you believe that?

So, that’s why I’m a player. Almost no consequences from this last go round and next time I’ll be even more careful. Who’s ready for action?_


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

What do think posting this will accomplish? Who do you think will read it?

It makes your wife look stupid. How do you think she will react to it?

Will it help your marriage recover?


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> What do think posting this will accomplish? Who do you think will read it?
> 
> It makes your wife look stupid. How do you think she will react to it?
> 
> Will it help your marriage recover?


Those same thoughts are why I haven't posted it. I may never post it. But it certainly makes me feel better to write it, even if for now it's only for my TAM brethren.

And by the way, my wife was stupid.


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## JMGrey (Dec 19, 2012)

EleGirl said:


> It makes your wife look stupid.


She is.



EleGirl said:


> How do you think she will react to it?


Given her behavior, I'd expect her to keep her yap shut.



EleGirl said:


> Will it help your marriage recover?


If it helps bring a measure of equality back to the relationship, given the humiliation that badmemory has undoubtedly experienced, I don't see how any WS could argue against it. Add to that, he's doing a public service on par with advertising the presence of a pedophile (since the OM is himself a species of sexual predator), I say go for it.


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## JMGrey (Dec 19, 2012)

badmemory said:


> Cantthinkstraight has inspired me to at least make a draft of posting the POSOM on Cheaterville. I was especially impressed with the part where he posts as the POSOM describing himself and I stole his idea. Of course, I've got a lot to think about before I would post this because I am a year and a half into R. Otherwise I would have done this a long time ago.
> 
> Thoughts, suggestions please.
> 
> ...


Go for it, mate. You'd be doing the world a favor.


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## The Middleman (Apr 30, 2012)

I say *DO IT!*


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## Almostrecovered (Jul 14, 2011)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn0WdJx-Wkw


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

I think you should post it. Who cares if your wife or this OM see it? I hope they do see and feel stupid for their choices. I have no sympathy whatsoever for people who knowingly set out to destroy other peoples lives, without even batting an eyelash.


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## Kaya62003 (Jan 8, 2013)

Almostrecovered said:


> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn0WdJx-Wkw


:rofl::iagree::smthumbup:that is very great answer!


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## frozen (Mar 5, 2012)

Just put his info up there without the hyperbole. You will still feel good about it. The sooner the better you never know what other marriages you may be helping.


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## Jibril (May 23, 2012)

I think that Cheaterville post is brilliant. Really. It's poignant, detailed, and sad. I highly encourage you to post it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HappyHubby (Aug 16, 2012)

Yes SEND IT. 

Your wife's name is not mentioned in it specifically so only those close to her and OM and his wife will know who its referring to.

Post it and do not apologize to your wife. This was your closure. Your small measure of justice that pales in comparison to the damage and hurt you have suffered. 

Make no concessions in this. No More Mr Nice Guy


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

Sorry for going offtopic but everytime I read your story, I think you are doing big mistake by reconciling...Not only the deceit but the disrespect. There will never be an ideal remorseful wife after what she did. Every WS that is reconciling here(EI, CM, MrsM), even though they had the affairs, they never bad mouthed their H's to their affair partners..One exception to this was Thorburn(he rconciled even though his wife was bashing him to anyone who would listen, before, during or after the affair).

Just be careful. You just don't end up acting like your wife by accident. She had real contempt and disrespect for you and it might come reappear in a different form...


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

warlock07 said:


> Sorry for going offtopic but everytime I read your story, I think you are doing big mistake by reconciling...Not only the deceit but the disrespect. There will never be an ideal remorseful wife after what she did. Every WS that is reconciling here(EI, CM, MrsM), even though they had the affairs, they never bad mouthed their H's to their affair partners..One exception to this was Thorburn(he rconciled even though his wife was bashing him to anyone who would listen, before, during or after the affair).
> 
> Just be careful. You just don't end up acting like your wife by accident. She had real contempt and disrespect for you and it might come reappear in a different form...


Advice considered Warlock. I won't defend her.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

I really do hope the best for your BM.


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## TryingToRecover (Dec 19, 2012)

Great post! Makes me wish I had used my imagination more when I posted the OW on a similar site. I think if you are comfortable with doing so, go ahead and post it.

As I mentioned, I posted WS's AP on a similar site. She found the profile only a month or so after I posted it. Several comments from others who found it have also been posted, including some from a guy who admitted on there he'd also had an affair with her. She was p'od about the profile but she can't argue with it or have it taken down because all of what I posted is factual (I have the proof and was careful not to veer outside of those lines). 

Some say doing this type of thing is sinking to 'their level' but I disagree to a point. I considered the posting of her profile part of the exposure, this type of exposure being more on a global level. I will freely admit I posted it out of anger and revenge. Sinking or not, I'm not ashamed. She probably won't learn anything from the experience but hopefully it'll make her think twice before she messes with the next married guy. 

Trespass on my life with my WS, expect me to do the same to you but in my own way. Life's a b*tch, get your own man next time!


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## naga75 (Jul 5, 2012)

I think its fkn great. 
Makes me rethink not posting my fww posom on CV. 
i like the comment on closure. 
If thats what you need...DO IT. 
Im almost a year into R, and honestly, i think something like that would be just the thing to get me over hump im at with closing that episode of my life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## phillybeffandswiss (Jan 20, 2013)

TryingToRecover said:


> Several comments from others who found it have also been posted, including some from a guy who admitted on there he'd also had an affair with her..


Wow, that's crazy! I usually think of it is a cathartic release, never knew it outed another affair.


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## TryingToRecover (Dec 19, 2012)

phillybeffandswiss said:


> Wow, that's crazy! I usually think of it is a cathartic release, never knew it outed another affair.


It did in this case but I'm also not surprised with the OW my WS was involved with. She had been carrying on multiple affairs for years while spewing lies about her now ex; the typical, he was abusive and didn't tend to her needs (blah, blah, blah), all the usual lies they have to tell themselves and others. As it turns out, the ex never laid a finger on her in that manner and was more self-abusive than anything else. My WS bought her stories hook, line and sinker....and apparently many other OM have as well.

The guy who outed himself on OW's profile described the break-up of his 20 year relationship as a result of his affair with OW. Described the MO she used on him and provided other details only someone who knew her would know about. The tone of his comments are angry and he tends to blame OW almost entirely. Sounds like he's still in the fog to me, even though OW has long moved on from him. I blame both people in an affair because it takes two - my own WS is not an innocent lamb who was naively coaxed out of the barnyard.

Anyhow, that's how the posting has turned out thus far .

Sorry....end of my T/J.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

I'm curious as to the recovery of the fb messages. Can you shed some light on that process please?


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

SadandAngry said:


> I'm curious as to the recovery of the fb messages. Can you shed some light on that process please?


Initially, I had installed spyware on her cell phone because I became suspicious of her behavior. I found about 5 text messages with I love you's back in forth. No indication of a PA and I didn't know who it was. I confronted her, she told me who it was, but she claimed that it was only an EA, all but ended, and had only been going on for about 5 months. 

Then I finally pulled my head out of my a**.

My WW has an e-mail account on Outlook. Outlook, like other non-web based e-mail software stores e-mail files in a folder, including deleted ones.

Facebook, unless you adjust the settings, copies Facebooked messages to the receiver's e-mail. Unfortunately, only received messages, not sent. My WW of course deleted all those Facebooked e-mail messages from him. So, I used two methods to recover them.

I started with the easiest way first. I opened her e-mail account on my computer, since I know all the log-in/password info. When I did, the e-mail server downloaded her received e-mail messages going back almost 9 months. I got about 1600 Facebook messages from the POSOM this way.

After that, when I had the chance, I installed e-mail recovery software on her computer. I recovered 99% of all her her deleted e-mail messages from the outlook file folder. This pretty much got me every deleted, received Facebook e-mail message he had ever sent her, another 2000 of them. 

I also put a keylogger on her computer, which got me her work e-mail password (web based) and logged into it to get even more e-mails that they had sent each other. I also got into her Facebook, but those PM threads to each other had been permanently deleted. But I did find some other ones where she criticized me to her friends. 

I was lucky that we used a non-web based e-mail program (Outlook) or I would never have been able to recover them. I was fortunate that neither of them were tech savvy. 

Yeah, I would have liked to have had her messages to him, but there was just no way to get them. Of course I would have eventually discovered the PA by my other methods, but now I have a permanently documented porn novel from him and so does his wife - though I doubt she has read them in as much as she's a imbecilic, co-dependent Stepford wife. 

But the POSOM knows I have them and will always have them.


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## warlock07 (Oct 28, 2011)

> though I doubt she has read them in as much as she's a imbecilic, co-dependent Stepford wife.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

You like that Warlock? (lol). 

Honestly, I hate her almost as much as her husband.


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## SadandAngry (Aug 24, 2012)

Interesting, thank you. I'll have a crack at that in a few weeks. I'm going to go for the whole enchilada next week though. I'm Canadian. I'm going to be in San Francisco. I'm going to take the opportunity to go to fb headquarters and hand someone from their privacy commission a schedule 1 request for all personal information under our Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act. They then have up to 40 days to respond with a copy of every piece of info they have stored about her, or I can start an action with the Canadian Privacy Commission. I'm hoping they agree to just add the deleted messages to the downloadable info already available and make it simple, but I am prepared to pursue the information as aggressively as I need to, just on principle alone.


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

SadandAngry said:


> Interesting, thank you. I'll have a crack at that in a few weeks. I'm going to go for the whole enchilada next week though. I'm Canadian. I'm going to be in San Francisco. I'm going to take the opportunity to go to fb headquarters and hand someone from their privacy commission a schedule 1 request for all personal information under our Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act. They then have up to 40 days to respond with a copy of every piece of info they have stored about her, or I can start an action with the Canadian Privacy Commission. I'm hoping they agree to just add the deleted messages to the downloadable info already available and make it simple, but I am prepared to pursue the information as aggressively as I need to, just on principle alone.


I wish you good luck then. PM me if I can help you.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

JMGrey said:


> *Given her behavior, I'd expect her to keep her yap shut.*


:rofl:


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

I'm glad I could help get the creative juices flowing! hahaha.

Just to let you know how I went about it and why...

When I was encouraged to post my WW and POSOM on
cheaterville initially, I scoffed at the idea. I certainly didn't want
anymore attention on our issues than what had already taken place.

Then one night a few months ago, I got pissed and grabbed a
couple of pics from the interwebs of the pr!ck and saved them
for future use. (I put everything from her A in one folder on
my desktop labeled "CHEATING C*NT")

Shortly after that, I returned to the site to check out how it
was operated. Read some other stories and such, just to get the
feel of the joint. 

I chose to write the story of the A from his perspective
because I didn't want to implicate or name my WW (yet, mind you...) 
and also didn't want to write it from the vantage point
of a weak and whiney cuckold.

No, for THIS, I needed to go in with all my guns blazing.
You only live once, right?

I'd edited and re-saved the cheaterville story many times
over again. I felt my wave of rage go away and just said,
you know what? She wanted him to pay, so if she's not banging
him again she shouldn't mind either.

*F*CK HIM*.

Posted it and am glad I did.

(about 4 months after the initial draft) 

Even if you don't send it out, at least your still getting it off 
your chest and releasing some inner garbage. It's a healthy form of
expression and communication, just in a different form.


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## The-Deceived (Jan 8, 2013)

lol at _(lol)_


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

cantthinkstraight said:


> Even if you don't send it out, at least your still getting it off your chest and releasing some inner garbage. It's a healthy form of expression and communication, just in a different form.


Yeah, CTS you're right. I'll just speak for myself and say that a lot of the things I post here about my story, are as much to release those pent up demons, as to seek advice. It simply helps me to feel better. Not sure why, but it does. I'm guessing however, that I'm not alone in that mindset.

So thanks again for the inspiration. I've already edited the Cheaterville posting a couple of times and will probably work on it occasionally for the cathartic release. And I'll have it saved and it ready to post for whenever it damn well "strikes my fancy".


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## Thorburn (Nov 23, 2011)

I posted the OM in 2011 on cheaterville. I think I did in in December of 2011. As of today I have over 3,000,000 (yes over 3 million) hits.

I was warned not to do it with the wife if I wanted to R. I didn't. And she never stopped cheating. False R. I doubt if putting her there would have done anything. In the future I may and if I do the recording will also be included. Don't know who the new men (yes men) are and if i did they would be posted immediately. The WS will have to wait to after the D, don't want to complicate things anymore than they already are.


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## twin (Feb 24, 2013)

Badmemory: what email recovery software did you use? Thanks.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## badmemory (Jul 31, 2012)

twin said:


> Badmemory: what email recovery software did you use? Thanks.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


RecoverMyEmail


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## Numbersixxx (Oct 10, 2012)

Thorburn said:


> I posted the OM in 2011 on cheaterville. I think I did in in December of 2011. As of today I have over 3,000,000 (yes over 3 million) hits.
> 
> I was warned not to do it with the wife if I wanted to R. I didn't. And she never stopped cheating. False R. I doubt if putting her there would have done anything. In the future I may and if I do the recording will also be included. Don't know who the new men (yes men) are and if i did they would be posted immediately. The WS will have to wait to after the D, don't want to complicate things anymore than they already are.



Can you PM me the OM link?


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## old_soldier (Jul 17, 2012)

Not only should you, you must. These type of men thrive on the humiliation of the BH. They are heartless, sociopathic bastarbs. He has humiliated you, made you to look like a weak fool. AND YOU ARE NOT!! You can not legaly beat the crap out of this dirt bag, nor can you sue him in 45 states in the US, or Canada, or Europe, or Austrailia, but if the things you say are the absolute truth, you can post this without fear of a slander suit.

I wouldn't even stop at "Cheaterville". I would go acebook, Twitter, a newspaper personal ad, what ever means that would get the widest distribution.

The OM is a dirtbag and needs to be exposed for the worthless S_ithead that he is to as many people as possible.
IMHO.


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## WyshIknew (Aug 18, 2012)

old_soldier said:


> Not only should you, you must. These type of men thrive on the humiliation of the BH. They are heartless, sociopathic bastarbs. He has humiliated you, made you to look like a weak fool. AND YOU ARE NOT!! You can not legaly beat the crap out of this dirt bag, nor can you sue him in 45 states in the US, or Canada, or Europe, or Austrailia, but if the things you say are the absolute truth, you can post this without fear of a slander suit.
> 
> I wouldn't even stop at "Cheaterville". I would go acebook, Twitter, a newspaper personal ad, what ever means that would get the widest distribution.
> 
> ...



One poster did successfully sue the OM. After the OM refused to meet or apologise for his behaviour.

He sued him for the cost of the STD test he took.


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## cantthinkstraight (May 6, 2012)

When thinking about whether or not you should show mercy 
when exposing the OM/OW and making their lives a living hell,
ask yourself _"Did they show any mercy when they were f*cking my H/W?"_.

*There's your answer.
*
Protect yourself and stay out of jail. 

Other than that - gloves off, anything goes. :smthumbup:


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