# is he going crazy now - need input



## blownaway (Dec 11, 2010)

As my last post says, my H has been laying b.s. on me for a long while now. Seemingly, out of the blue, he didn't want to be married anymore, and always denied that there was a third party involved - until the other night when I finally had proof and he admitted it. He claims it just started after we separated and he moved out, but that just insults my intelligence - I will never believe that since he could not give concrete reasons for his decision to leave and things just didn't add up the whole way. Anyway, the most hurtful thing is that all the while he was gone and denying the other person, he kept telling me that he felt we were involved in a trial separation, that he was missing me and the kids, that he still did not know what he wanted AND that he was actually going to come to a counseling session with me (he already went to one on his own with my counselor). I actually had had enough about a week ago and told him, in a very calm voice, that I just thought it was time to end things. That he was not showing any interest in really trying to fix the situation and that I was way too tired to keep on being the only one who wanted to try. I said it because I was ready to say it and figured I needed to make a move if he was too wishy washy or cowardly to talk about his feelings. He actually was surprised and told me to hold off until we went to counseling to try to talk about what happened and why. Well, now that I actually caught him and "flipped the script" by taking back some of my control, do you think he is going crazy right now? When I thought it was a trial separation and he was actually sincere about trying to come to some decisions, I was very understanding and did not lash out. Now, I got all of the keys to the house back, refuse to look at him or talk to him other than texts/emails about the kids, and will talk to my lawyer tomorrow to get things going. Do you think he is now starting to really see that he lost his family and that his strategy of "hedging the bet" to see which way his life was going to go has gone to hell? Not that I would want him back after all of these lies and the time that he made me wait around knowing that it just killed me to see him go, but I just want input and insight into what he may be thinking now. I want him to feel some hurt and get a big dose of reality since I have felt like I was in a torture chamber for the last several months.


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## mariem1967 (Dec 1, 2010)

He came to his senses and is realizing what is he losing. Men sometimes don't care about anything till the certain point and than start panicking and think that they can get things back in just few days of acting different. You know what you passed through and if you made decision stick to it. Good luck.


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## blownaway (Dec 11, 2010)

Thanks for the input. He definitely is not acting like he wants to change anything - it's just the look on his face and the bit of backpedaling and revisionist history that he displays now that he's been revealed as the liar and cheater that he is. It is a subtle shift now - the tide has turned and he knows it. Now, the fantasy bubble has burst and he's going to have to live with really losing his wife and children. After what he put me through, there will be no love or respect from me ever again. That's the part that upsets me the most - obviously, the knowledge of the other person doesn't make me feel good - but I would have had a lot more respect in the long run had he just been up front and honest months ago. He just shut me out and when I tried to communicate, he would just dismiss me and hand me lines of b.s. about why he wanted to leave. I would have been much further along in this process had I known what I was facing, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt because of the vows, the kids, and the person that he used to be. I know I'm not supposed to say things like this, but part of me hopes he rots in hell.


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