# anyone here buy your wife out of the house?



## LonelyIrish (Jun 5, 2011)

I'm wondering if anyone here has ever bought their partners share in the family home and then had to re-sell?

Myself and the missus are separating and we're not down to just discussing the house.
no kids etc. no mortgage either.
So, we could sell and take half and move on and that might be easier, OR I could buy her out (I still live here since June and she lives in the City).

My worry/wondering is that I will buy it. Then have a huge emotional fallback as this is the last time I will need to deal with her, and then I would resent the house and want to live somewhere else.

I'm not sure if they are rational fears or not but I can't get anyones opinion as I know no-one who has been through this.
I'm 70% buy the house, 30% sell up and rent in the city.

Financially renting is better as the house prices are dropping 10% a year. However, I would hate to sell up and then live in an apartment and miss my neighbourhood.

I guess it's money versus lifestyle, but I cold also rent a year and move back here if I wanted. Or buy and rent the house.

It's a minefield eh !! Anyone done this in the past and any advice?

LI.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Wanted to. Given our equity, it would be maybe 10K ... maybe.

Presuming you own the house jointly, than the total interest between the two of you is the equity you have, not the value of the property. 

My ex had tremendous difficulty wrapping her head around this. Thought that I was trying to screw her over.

My issue is that given the other financial landmines that went off during the course of the separation and divorce along with support, I would not be able to float the costs of a new mortgage.

If you think you are going to reminisce about what you 'had' every time you step into a room of the house, then don't do it.

If anything, I was looking forward to making the house my own.

If it makes financial and practical sense as in my case where kids are involved, I would say go for it.

However, there is a lot to be said for clean breaks and fresh starts as well.


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## Halien (Feb 20, 2011)

If you are afraid of the emotional negatives that might come about after you own the home yourself, then maybe you shouldn't take the risk. With the current markets, I'd think there should be some pretty strong interest, either way.

When my wife and I initially decided to divorce (we later agreed to reconcile), I wanted the home, but she didn't. I have put alot of work into it, plus the kids wanted to stay with me. For me, even though she chose the house, she saw it as a temporary place while I really like it. I was just at the point of pulling the money out of investments to pay her when we decided to work on the marriage.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

I'm staying put. I don't want the kids to lose their home - even if their only there about 50% of the time.

And to be honest - I can't imagine trying to get our house into "sale" condition with all the other drama going on.

I also worry about the negative emotional impact - but I'm mostly looking forward to having some personal space and freedom.

Just me...


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## Conrad (Aug 6, 2010)

I was going to put a pool table in the "Music Room" where her piano sits now.

When I told her, she gasped


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## Mike188 (Dec 29, 2009)

Do the math and do which one will make you the most money. Equity is one thing but if you sell it you might not get the figure you are using to determine the equity, you may have to pay a real esate commission, you'll have closing costs, may have to pay for some of the repairs after the home is inspected and if you've lived there less than two years you might have to pay capital gains. All of that cuts in the equity. How financially savvy is your wife? Get her to buy out your half of the equity and you may be way ahead. The actual equity is often less than what it appears to be on paper. If you buy her out you need to reduce it with as many expenses as possible.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

Conrad said:


> I was going to put a pool table in the "Music Room" where her piano sits now.
> 
> When I told her, she gasped




There you go! Where my wife's scrapbooking stuff is - which she's been too busy sneaking around online with guys to use - will be three guitars and two amps! RIGHT in the middle of the living room! BOO - YAH!

I may get some NFL sheets/blanket like I had when I was a kid too...because I can...


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## LonelyIrish (Jun 5, 2011)

Halien said:


> If you are afraid of the emotional negatives that might come about after you own the home yourself, then maybe you shouldn't take the risk. With the current markets, I'd think there should be some pretty strong interest, either way.
> 
> When my wife and I initially decided to divorce (we later agreed to reconcile), I wanted the home, but she didn't. I have put alot of work into it, plus the kids wanted to stay with me. For me, even though she chose the house, she saw it as a temporary place while I really like it. I was just at the point of pulling the money out of investments to pay her when we decided to work on the marriage.


Thanks to all for the insight.
I am a bit torn. To buy anywhere near the size of house I have now I would have to spend a lot of money so its either stay here or rent.
To be honest I designed all the garden and I like what people said about making the house mine.
I already have a games room with a new TV and a driving chair and game chair filled with lots of cool photos.
I guess I can paint it all and put a lot of coll stuff into over the next year or two, and then it will be my house.
I just need to get it at a reasonable price. I'm not paying over the odds.

Thanks all.
LI.


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

For me, there is only about 30k of equity left in the house (we've taken out about 60k while she was starting up her business, though she has no real equity saved up in that). The house is already in my name as well as our retirement savings which is about half the equity, and I've been the one carrying the entire financial load.

So in my case it seems pretty obvious to just stay in the house and sign our retirement savings over to her. It sucks that I will have no more retirement savings but atleast I have a decent house with a little equity and a good mortgage rate and the ability to keep paying it off.

I found a roomate and am already so much further ahead with the rent money than with what she was (not) bringing home. My only concern is that the rental income affects the calculations used for child support (even though we have 50/50 custody child support is still applicable).


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## LonelyIrish (Jun 5, 2011)

Lon said:


> For me, there is only about 30k of equity left in the house (we've taken out about 60k while she was starting up her business, though she has no real equity saved up in that). The house is already in my name as well as our retirement savings which is about half the equity, and I've been the one carrying the entire financial load.
> 
> So in my case it seems pretty obvious to just stay in the house and sign our retirement savings over to her. It sucks that I will have no more retirement savings but atleast I have a decent house with a little equity and a good mortgage rate and the ability to keep paying it off.
> 
> I found a roomate and am already so much further ahead with the rent money than with what she was (not) bringing home. My only concern is that the rental income affects the calculations used for child support (even though we have 50/50 custody child support is still applicable).


It sounds like a royal pain in the butt.
Why, when I was seeminly very well off before she left, am I not quite 50% as well off now? Seems strange. In any case, I reckon selling furniture, buying nice paintings and new furniture is probably better than trying to flog the house in a diving market. I'll just see what a fair price is and offer it (-11%)
LI.


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