# If you had it to do over again, would you have married your spouse?



## IH8theFriendZone (Mar 14, 2011)

Kind of a pointless question, but I'm curious...since those of us on this forum (most of us anyway) are sexually frustrated to one degree or another (see the poll), if you knew that compatibility issues between you and your spouse for one reason or another would lead to the level of sexual frustration, humiliation, depression, and anger (compounded by whatever other problems you might be dealing with) you're currently experiencing, would you marry your spouse? 
I didn't post this in the Men's Lounge because I want this to be specific to those of us who are sexually frustrated like me.


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## michzz (Jun 6, 2008)

Never.

It was a mistake of the defcon 5 variety.


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## MGirl (Mar 13, 2011)

Uh oh...this is the question that I've been thinking about a lot recently and I really thought that first my answer would be no way. However, I believe that answer is based on my emotions and frustration. When I sat down and really thought about my relationship with my husband, I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. 

Yeah, it's tough. And I'm exhausted from being so frustrated and scared that my marriage isn't working, BUT I have a spouse who is cooperative and willing to make things work. It makes me sad that a lot of you don't have cooperative spouses and I can easily understand how your answer would be a resounding no. If my husband was completely unwilling to work with me, my answer would undoubtedly be NO. 

Thankfully, that is not my situation and I can say, Yes, I would remarry my spouse again


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## couple (Nov 6, 2010)

If I saw my wife on the street today as a stranger, i would be sexually attracted to her like I was when i met her many years ago. While we don't have a perfect relationship, I would very much like her personality if we went on a date together.


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## marcopoly69 (Sep 7, 2010)

Yes, definitely!!!


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## Therealbrighteyes (Feb 11, 2010)

I love my husband dearly and I know he loves me as well. Having said that, 17 years of throwing hand grenades at each other has left me with deep scars. Some healed and others never will. The pain wasn't worth it, so no, I would not marry him again. Sadly, he actually knows this. He told me he would marry me again in a heartbeat. I guess he is a masochist.


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

IH8theFriendZone said:


> Kind of a pointless question, but I'm curious...since those of us on this forum (most of us anyway) are sexually frustrated to one degree or another (see the poll), if you knew that compatibility issues between you and your spouse for one reason or another would lead to the level of sexual frustration, humiliation, depression, and anger (compounded by whatever other problems you might be dealing with) you're currently experiencing, would you marry your spouse?


For a time- I felt me & my husband had Mis Matched libidos & I was not liking this one little bit.  But it wasn't really true, what I discovered was we had differing Libido Types (Me -"Erotic" -"Dependent") (Him - "Sensual" - "Receptive"). 

This book was very helpful to me during that questioning & emotional time. Amazon.com: When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life: Sandra Pertot: Books 

He always happily took care of my urgings. Otherwise I think I would have been He** to deal with. Even with this attention though, I still allowed my Erotic imaginations to take flight, sometimes comparing him to other more aggressive Lovers--in romance movies, books, even some the way they expressed themselves on this forum! This is pretty much past now. We have grown alot in understanding in the past 2+ yrs, and in regards to sex, we have more now in 1 month than we did in 5 months in our past. 

Very Thankful I have spend the last 21+ yrs married to this wonderful man, just wish I discovered my sex drive alot sooner.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

On a scale of 1 to Suicide Bomber, I'd have to say no.


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## hubby (Aug 10, 2009)

Hell yes! If you asked me 2 years ago...nope.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jerwings (Mar 12, 2011)

Absolutely! married almost 30 years,...our relationship is nothing less than amazing


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## ddrh (Mar 20, 2011)

Hubby, 

Just wondering what happened to make your relationship from 'nope' to 'hell yes!'?

Thanks.


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## eli (Jan 29, 2011)

The same things would attract me to him now but I am wiser now and would listen to the alarm bells that I heard before but thought would disappear. I think we would both be happier now if we had not married - except for my wonderful kids of course.


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

yep, but knowing what I know now, I would make some changes along the way


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## Enamored (Dec 25, 2009)

Even from my extremely frustated and clouded point of view, I have to admit that my wife is not a bad person. With some one else she would have made a good or even great wife. 

I believe we were never made for each other and it is case of severe incompatibility.

I can safely say I would not lie to marry her again and I am sure my wife would say the same thing with even more emphasis. LOL


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

No. The old saying that all a guy needs is a sandwich and a blow job isn't far from the truth. A guy can put up with a lot if his sexual needs are being met. When they aren't, not much else works smoothly.


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## mentallydrained (Oct 7, 2010)

Tough question to face during times like this. Not sure can be honest enough as so many factors are in play. I'm so gray instead of black and white.


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## MardiGrasMambo (Mar 5, 2011)

4 words: Deaf in knit lee!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Of course I would-she gives me something that no other woman ever could and I prize highly-PEACE OF MIND.
True, sexually, there are a few things that I would like to change (what guy wouldn't), but as far as marriage and a life together, I wouldn't have it any other way.
And, no offense to anyone here, but all I have to do is read some of these posts to remind myself that I've got it good!


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## IH8theFriendZone (Mar 14, 2011)

Married&Confused said:


> No. The old saying that all a guy needs is a sandwich and a blow job isn't far from the truth. A guy can put up with a lot if his sexual needs are being met. When they aren't, not much else works smoothly.


Dude you got that right. If it ever seems appropriate and we're at that point of confrontation, I may tell my wife, "I don't think you have any idea just how much I'm willing to tolerate if my need for sexual fulfillment is met." And I may even add, "Nor do you have any idea how intolerable things become when my need for sexual fulfillment is indifferently or angrily rebuffed or trivialized."
But I'll cross that bridge if/when I get to it. In the meantime, it's absolutely true...a man (or at least, I) will put up with a surprisingly high amount of sh1t if his sexual needs are met.


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## visitor (Mar 1, 2011)

IH8theFriendZone said:


> ...since those of us on this forum (most of us anyway) are sexually frustrated to one degree or another...


I don't have any reason to believe that being married to some other woman would be any less sexually frustrating than my current partnership.


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## OOE (Mar 17, 2011)

When I think back to when I first met my exW... back when I had that tingling in my stomach, the quickening of my pulse and the flutter in my heart...

I now realize that it was my spidey-sense saying, "RUN!"


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## greenpearl (Sep 3, 2010)

If there were next life, if my husband and I could meet together in our next life, I would want to marry him again. I want to be his wife forever!


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## Married&Confused (Jan 19, 2011)

visitor said:


> I don't have any reason to believe that being married to some other woman would be any less sexually frustrating than my current partnership.


i think you will see that there are plenty of women posting here who are equally sexually frustrated with their husbands as some of us are with our wives.

that makes me think that, at least from a sexual compatibility viewpoint, you could do much better than you are now.


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## so_sad (Nov 23, 2010)

Nope. I knew it when I walked down the isle that I was making a mistake but I had 29 people on a cruise ship....


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## southbound (Oct 31, 2010)

That's a tough question since my wife divorced me after 18 years a few months ago with the "I'm no longer happy" excuse. We had what I thought was a great marriage until a few months ago. We had some good times and I love my kids with her, but on the other hand, I guess my life now would be better had I never laid eyes on her.


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## Runs like Dog (Feb 25, 2011)

Maybe it's me maybe I'm naturally suspicious but I hear this over and over again "S/He hit me with this out of the blue - I was happy and had no idea s/he was miserable and going to leave me."

Really? Really? NO Idea?


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## Stone_Dagger (Mar 4, 2011)

NO.
Best thing i got out of the Marriage is my daughter. Everything else can suck it!


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## jezza (Jan 12, 2011)

Absolutely not.


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## anon_4_now (Mar 23, 2011)

"I dunno yet" acceptable?

We are roommates now where I need an intimate lover as a wife. If it doesn't get any better, then NO.


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## okeydokie (Sep 10, 2008)

anon_4_now said:


> "I dunno yet" acceptable?
> 
> We are roommates now where I need an intimate lover as a wife. If it doesn't get any better, then NO.


my exact answer


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## Crankshaw (Jan 12, 2011)

The poll does have an answer I agree with 
Yes, I would marry her again, but knowing what I know now things would be different, I love hindsight !!!


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## chingchang (Sep 21, 2010)

IH8theFriendZone said:


> Kind of a pointless question, but I'm curious...since those of us on this forum (most of us anyway) are sexually frustrated to one degree or another (see the poll), if you knew that compatibility issues between you and your spouse for one reason or another would lead to the level of sexual frustration, humiliation, depression, and anger (compounded by whatever other problems you might be dealing with) you're currently experiencing, would you marry your spouse?
> I didn't post this in the Men's Lounge because I want this to be specific to those of us who are sexually frustrated like me.


I would not do it again. The differences are so great that my marriage is constant...and I mean CONSTANT...work with very little reward. I wouldn't pick someone exactly like me...I like the challenge of having someone different than me because it allows for growth. However...I would not pick my polar opposite...which it appears I did (confirmed by Myers-Briggs personality testing and lack of common interests). Having starkly different sex drives is the main killer though. Funny thing...she wanted to have sex with me 3 times a day prior to marriage...now just excuses for why her sex drive is so low. We have kids though...which keeps me trying...and I truly do love her. But I could love MANY women...I picked one of the most difficult...

CC


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## Tool (Feb 14, 2011)

If I was asked this question last year, I would have said no way in hell..

But now that I have learned how Women tick and have turned this marriage around.. I would do it again, but apply my learnings much earlier in the relationship..


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## Mrs.G (Nov 20, 2010)

Married&Confused said:


> No. The old saying that all a guy needs is a sandwich and a blow job isn't far from the truth. A guy can put up with a lot if his sexual needs are being met. When they aren't, not much else works smoothly.


Amen! My husband puts up with my crazy family and the issues they left me with, among other things. I'm an excellent cook and I am a hore for him.
The clueless prudes who whine about marriage being about more than sex, choose to ignore the fact that most men need sex to feel good about other aspects of marriage. I often wonder if I was male in another life, because I get crabby if I don't get enough loving from Mr.G!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ClevelandStve (Mar 28, 2011)

okeydokie said:


> my exact answer


Mine too.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

i would say yes.
not because the marriage was so good, or much any good for that matter.
i would say yes because if i hadent married my exw i think my whole life from that point on would have been completely different and i dont believe i would ever have met my fiance.

so from getting to meet my fiance, i would not change any of the hell or bullsh!t i went through.
it was so worth it.


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## Syrum (Feb 22, 2011)

2nd_t!me iz_best said:


> i would say yes.
> not because the marriage was so good, or much any good for that matter.
> i would say yes because if i hadent married my exw i think my whole life from that point on would have been completely different and i dont believe i would ever have met my fiance.
> 
> ...


Why thank you xxx. I feel the same way.

:bunny: 



* bunny added for cuteness


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

Immaturity is not an issue if whatever needs to get done gets done. I'm mid 50's physically and about 18 maturity wise, and one would have to be real down on their luck to consider my lack of maturity as an issue...


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Yes, even though I am looking towards getting it to end now, I still would not change having gotten married in the first place.


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## P51Geo1980 (Sep 25, 2013)

No, I would not! Not in a million years. As soon as we got married sex, and anything sexually related virtually stopped. I tried talking to her about it, we tried counseling, etc…and nothing has worked. I’ve succumbed to the knowledge that my wife is just a cold person who only cares about herself.
The last time we had sex was a month ago and I’m never going to have sex with her again. We got into a huge argument the next day and she accused me of using her for sex only. I pointed out that if I wanted sex only, I would have left the marriage a long time ago – at this point she launched into a tirade and I just walked out of the room and don’t remember a word she said. At this point I just vowed to myself that having sex with her is more trouble than it’s worth. When we have had sex it’s been very vanilla – either her or I on top with me calling all the shots and moving her hands around – we have been married for more than six damn years and she STILL doesn’t know how to make love to me?!? I’ve stopped initiating and don’t ever expect her to initiate as either. When I do initiate or bring the topic up I get one of three answers “no,” “tomorrow,” or “are you kidding” (usually this one is said when she’s watching TV).
Sex isn’t our only issue – there is a general lack of respect of me on her part. Here are some choice phrases she’s used before on me:
-“you’re JUST my husband”
-“I’m not going to throw myself at you” – said to me while we were on vacation in Paris and we watched a wife snuggling with her husband and told her I wanted her to do that to me once in a while
-“Moron,” – from the beginning of our relationship she thought it was acceptable to call me names. Tried talking to her to make her stop – didn’t work. Resorted to name calling as well – didn’t stop and made me feel like a giant douche. Now I just ignore it.
-Instead of discussing things in an adult manner she yells – I’m not the only one she does this with; she does it with her brother and parents too.
-Told me I disgust her on more than one occasion - the last time she did that I had had enough and told her she disgusts me as well – again something I’m not proud of but I’m just tired of it.

She’s not a nice person in general. If she sees someone on the streets that’s a little different she’ll just start talking badly about them – I’m a person who tries to be kind to everyone and not judge someone by what they look like. I judge people by their actions. In the entire length of our marriage I can’t remember one time when she has been comforting to me or even given me a complement. She’s quick to point out my flaws and everything I do wrong, but it’ll be a cold day in hell before she complements me or tells me something nice.

All she cares about is money. I quit my job a few years ago to pursue nursing school. She wasn’t very supportive until she found out how much nurses make in my state. Since then I hear almost daily about what “we” are going to buy when I finish nursing school – forget the $30k in loans I need to pay off.
I know most people here will say divorce her – and I WILL be as soon as I graduate nursing school (this May) and find a job. It’s just hard knowing that I have to live with her for the next 10 – 12 months. Financially I am in no place to divorce her right now because we have shared debts and even though we both work the money in our savings account helps us in case of emergencies so it can’t be split 50/50 in any divorce that would happen now. I don’t really care about the amount of spousal support I’d have to pay. I talked to a lawyer friend of mine and he said that based on our income disparities when I have a nursing career I’d pay just over $2,000 a month in spousal support for 3.5 – 4 years. We have no children – so no child support either. Sorry this was so long – don’t really know why I typed so much but the words just started flowing.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

That is a hard question to answer. I was the happiest man on earth, for our first four years together (two married and two not). When I started graduate school, the flames of passion started going down and we became roommates. This has been quite the learning experience for me. I am not going to give up yet but the thoughts have started to creep into my mind. 

The courtship part of it was pretty magical though. I proposed to her at a castle in Scotland. We were in the most opulent, immaculate room overlooking the ocean. We always joke that I set the bar a bit too high from the start. Can never top that night. I start to wonder every now and then.


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## john117 (May 20, 2013)

My wife's contribution to the genetic make up of our girls would be the reason to do it all over again... Not to mention her financial contribution to their education.

Take the girls out of the picture however and the answer is a resounding nope.


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## RedRose14 (Aug 15, 2013)

P51Geo1980 said:


> No, I would not! Not in a million years. As soon as we got married sex, and anything sexually related virtually stopped. I tried talking to her about it, we tried counseling, etc…and nothing has worked. I’ve succumbed to the knowledge that my wife is just a cold person who only cares about herself.
> The last time we had sex was a month ago and I’m never going to have sex with her again. We got into a huge argument the next day and she accused me of using her for sex only. I pointed out that if I wanted sex only, I would have left the marriage a long time ago – at this point she launched into a tirade and I just walked out of the room and don’t remember a word she said. At this point I just vowed to myself that having sex with her is more trouble than it’s worth. When we have had sex it’s been very vanilla – either her or I on top with me calling all the shots and moving her hands around – we have been married for more than six damn years and she STILL doesn’t know how to make love to me?!? I’ve stopped initiating and don’t ever expect her to initiate as either. When I do initiate or bring the topic up I get one of three answers “no,” “tomorrow,” or “are you kidding” (usually this one is said when she’s watching TV).
> Sex isn’t our only issue – there is a general lack of respect of me on her part. Here are some choice phrases she’s used before on me:
> -“you’re JUST my husband”
> ...


I'm really sorry you are in this situation, it sounds like there's no hope for your marriage. But, when you do divorce your wife and move on you won't make the same mistake and you will meet someone you love and who loves you in the way you deserve, and you will have a fantastic profession .... your future is bright


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## DesertRat (May 1, 2012)

It's a tough choice - i love my kids so much and i'd not have them without my wife. I also love my wife dearly and enjoy being around her. Despite lack of sex our lives are great. I would probably get married again - but i'd probalby have waited until i was 6 years until I was 30.


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## Overwhelmed in NE (Sep 20, 2013)

Like the others, this is a hard question. I wish I had left so many times over the years, preferably before we got married. There were so many issues we chose to just sweep under the rug and ignore that we obviously should not have. But I love my children more than I could have imagined and I know he does too...so it is hard to wish we had never been knowing that they never would have either...


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## popcorn (Nov 2, 2012)

Yes, I would even though I'm frustrated. I could do worse.


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## Stonewall (Jul 5, 2011)

Absolutely hands down yes! I could not imagine life without her.


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## NewHubs (Dec 23, 2012)

I'd totally marry her again. She's the only one that can put up with my many quirks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DTO (Dec 18, 2011)

Overwhelmed in NE said:


> Like the others, this is a hard question. I wish I had left so many times over the years, preferably before we got married. There were so many issues we chose to just sweep under the rug and ignore that we obviously should not have. But I love my children more than I could have imagined and I know he does too...so it is hard to wish we had never been knowing that they never would have either...


I completely get this logic. However, I think that any kids I would have had with anyone else would have been as satisfying as the ones I did actually have. The bond is there because they are my kids, not because of the exact attritubes my kids exhibit.

With that in mind, hell yeah I regret marrying my ex. She had little income, no assets, and no ambition to change that for herself. All she brought was her professed attraction to and support for me, which would have been enough. But when that didn't manifest, she essentially had brought nothing to the table.

I was in college, doing well, and had some pretty ladies clearly attracted to me despite being married (and a couple willing to overlook my marital status). This was despite me being faithful and not even looking for that kind of attention. I was truly an idiot.


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## missthelove2013 (Sep 23, 2013)

the pole question has little to do with the thread title

If I could go back in time, the ONLY reason I would marry my current wife is my daughter...if that factor was removed, I would not marry my current wife

I would NOT get married PERIOD...if I ever find myself single again, I will NEVER EVER get married again...there is NOTHING, not one darned thing, a marriage gives me that i can NOT get single, and most of the good stuff I got more of single

Now that the thread question is answered I will answer the poll question:

YES I am VERY sexually frustrated...self gratification and porn are my lovers...


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## thunderstruck (May 9, 2012)

Knowing what I know now, no FN way. 

Flawed people attract flawed people. :banghead: I should have worked on my own issues before even considering marriage to anyone.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

I would have married her. Our marriage changed when i started graduate school. That is where I would change things if I could redo them. Prior to that, we were golden.


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## soulseer (Jul 26, 2013)

I don't regret marrying my wife. I love her and the sex we have.

I do however wish she was more open to communication and she shared her fantasies with me.

I wish we had sex 2-3 times a week rather than 3-4 times a month.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fozzy (Jul 20, 2013)

this is a really hard question for me. I'll never regret my kids, but if I knew about the marital issues upfront, and without having the benefit of my kids.....

I just don't know.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Nope would have never married them.... With what I know now, I would probably never married anyone.



.


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## BeachGuy (Jul 6, 2011)

No I wouldn't. We just aren't compatible in any way. I had blinders on when I was young and thought any two people can be compatible if they try. If BOTH try. We were raised differently, have different values, different likes and dislikes and very different views on sex and what a marriage is supposed to be like.


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

greenpearl said:


> If there were next life, if my husband and I could meet together in our next life, I would want to marry him again. I want to be his wife forever!


The only thing I'd change is I just hope I meet her sooner and marry her sooner!


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## Snickers (Oct 8, 2013)

I don't know if I would be but I love my kids and I think if me being in this marriage to have them is well worth it.I just wish things were different and it could be a happier marriage.


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## Cletus (Apr 27, 2012)

Tough question.

50 years and some experience has taught me that not only is the grass sometimes not greener, it's sometimes not even grass. 

I have no doubt that I could find a better sexual partner. I just wonder what I would have to give up to get it. Would I get a smoker? A drinker? A philanderer? A compulsive shopper? The perfect mate doesn't exist, so maybe I'd be right here 30 years down the road with a fistful of other equally frustrating issues.

On the balance though, I think I would not make the same mistake again. I think I would trade a few of those other problems for a better sex life.


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## Pandakiss (Oct 29, 2010)

I would marry him all over again. We found each other young, and other than being smarter, I wouldn't change a thing. 

From our first phone call when we were 12/13, we haven't shut up, and go everywhere together. After being together for 22 years.


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## Mr B (Feb 6, 2009)

I had a great and varied sex life until I got married then all sex stopped. So if I had to do it over again I would have remained single. The sex is just so much easier to get and so much more fun when you are single.


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## Coffee Amore (Dec 15, 2011)

Yes! And I would have married him even sooner.


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## RickyC (Apr 26, 2013)

N o p e


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## jen53 (Apr 26, 2013)

thunderstruck said:


> Knowing what I know now, no FN way.
> 
> Flawed people attract flawed people. :banghead: I should have worked on my own issues before even considering marriage to anyone.


so tru, I have learnt so much I didn't know, I hadn't even found myself, I never had a BF who was faithful looking back, I thought my husband was different, I was so naive I didn't realise how different, totally misread signs,


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## HardLanden (Oct 31, 2013)

I wouldn't have if I knew then what I know now. If we weren't already married, and the situation was like it is now, then I would definitely be seeing someone else.


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## Insanity (Oct 28, 2013)

Answer today - no. 

But, with my situation "pending" -- it's premature to answer in "ink."


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## hawx20 (Jan 10, 2013)

Married&Confused said:


> No. The old saying that all a guy needs is a sandwich and a blow job isn't far from the truth. A guy can put up with a lot if his sexual needs are being met. When they aren't, not much else works smoothly.


This quote wins the internet. I cant tell you how true this is. I even told my wife I would by the happiest man in the world if she would come to bed and give me hot sex twice a week. The twice a week part is a compromise, but still, thats all it would take.

But of course, thats asking way to much. The best I can hope for is duty sex twice a week, and thats really pushing it. So if they do ever invent time travel, I'm going back in time and telling myself to delete her number from my cell....


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## coupdegrace (Oct 15, 2012)

I would. While our sex life isn't what I thought it would be, I can't complain because she cares enough to at least try to meet my HD needs.


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## CuddleBug (Nov 26, 2012)

50 / 50 on that one.


Yes I would for her caring, loving, generous and faithful self. She's a hard worker and will even do physical work with me. 

No, she doesn't take care of herself, is very large so she can't wear any of the sexy outfits most women do and she has a LD vanilla sex drive, almost no sex drive.


So over again, I would have to say NO, but I would be a friend and room mate though.


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## LadyDee (Oct 1, 2013)

Yes. I. Would.


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## wranglerman (May 12, 2013)

I find it mad that the highest votes are the extremely frustrated side of things :scratchhead:

Shocking, I would not have married either of my wives to be honest if I was doing it all again, would have stayed single and screwed as many as I could if the truth be told.


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## DesertRat1978 (Aug 27, 2013)

I would still have married her. I am not sure what I could have done to make our sex life not be as barren as the Mojave Desert, though.


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## UsernameHere (Sep 26, 2013)

I have no doubts at all I would marry wife again. She has been an absolute gem. We've had our ups and downs, like most people but we've always been there for each other. We're now in our 21st year of marriage and have known each other for 30 years overall.


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## effess (Nov 20, 2009)

I've thought about this question many times. I don't know if I would honestly. I love my wife dearly and the children we've made and raised together. At the same time, her low sex drive and her deep anxiety issues have made her difficult to deal with at times - she requires a lot patience and grace. 

However, even if I was hypothetically out there, who knows what issues I'd encounter with another woman. Maybe someone who was a princess and needed to be constantly showered w gifts or constantly was shopping, or someone who couldn't draw proper boundaries w their family, or had difficult children from a previous relationship, or struggled w some sort of addiction.

Even if they were HD during the dating phase there's no guarantee it'll keep up after you marry. We've all read countless stories on this forum about women who couldn't keep their hands off their men than they got married and poof! Sex drive all gone.

So who knows. If anything if I was able to talk to a young me - I'd probably advise him more constructive ways to deal w her.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

* An Unequivocal, No! There were many overt warning signs going in; red flags if you will, that I chose to ignore because I haphazardly convinced myself that things with her would markedly improve.

Mind you, the sex with her for the most part was absolutely great ~ but her subsequent lying by omission and clandestine cheating was not!*


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## golf4ever (Oct 30, 2013)

been married almost 33 years now. we've been through a 
lot. got married at 18. lots of ups and downs but i would marry her again in a second.also the two best kids anyone could ask for.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

golf4ever said:


> been married almost 33 years now. we've been through a
> lot. got married at 18. lots of ups and downs but i would marry her again in a second.*also the two best kids anyone could ask for*.


*Kids are essentially a true reflection of their parents and the love and respect they show each other. That being said, I would greatly say that you and your wife as their parents, have done them proud!

Good job, Golf!*


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## sammy3 (Jun 5, 2011)

If I had a crystal ball and saw what the 27th year was going to be like, then nope, because all the good up to, is going to be so carelessly selfishly thrown away... 

~ sammy


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

No and Yes.

If I had it to do over again.. I would NEVER have married my first wife. Most miserable 2.5 years of my life.

Second one? Oh, I'd marry her again in a heartbeat.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

hambone said:


> No and Yes.
> 
> If I had it to do over again.. I would NEVER have married my first wife. *Most miserable 2.5 years of my life.*
> 
> Second one? Oh, I'd marry her again in a heartbeat.


*Only 2.5 years of bad marriage, Ham? ~ Consider yourself lucky, Brother!

But I'm absolutely thrilled for you on your second one, Sir!*


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## golf4ever (Oct 30, 2013)

thank you arbitrator. most important thing there is in this life. your children


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## hambone (Mar 30, 2013)

arbitrator said:


> *Only 2.5 years of bad marriage, Ham? ~ Consider yourself lucky, Brother!
> 
> But I'm absolutely thrilled for you on your second one, Sir!*


Man, it was bad from the get go.... I knew before the end of the honeymoon that I'd made a terrible mistake.

Looking back.. as bad as the marriage was... I didn't really start hating her until we got into the separation, property settlement, alimony... etc.


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## arbitrator (Feb 13, 2012)

hambone said:


> Man, it was bad from the get go.... I knew before the end of the honeymoon that I'd made a terrible mistake.
> 
> Looking back.. as bad as the marriage was... I didn't really start hating her until we got into the separation, property settlement, alimony... etc.


*In much the same way that I feel about my wealthy, cheating skank of an XW right now!*


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## TikiKeen (Oct 14, 2013)

I would, although I would have waited another year or so and would have been more insistent on IC first. My H may be slow to change, but he does eventually do it when he hurts badly enough.


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## omgitselaine (Sep 5, 2013)

Absolutely 

_Posted via *Topify* using Android_


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