# Looking for second opinion?



## jumanji (Aug 25, 2012)

Hi

Separated husband been talking to someone a lot on the phone in recent weeks (his phone was still on my bill so i could see the total)-when i first mentioned it he first said he wasn't talking to anyone then later on said it was a female friend that's going through a tough time and he's repaying the favour for when things were going downhill with us. He said that it's nothing to worry about and that he'd never get together with her as she'd be too much hassle. I'm hurt though as he's generally not good at sharing feelings but he's evidently been pouring his heart out to this person when he wasn't saying anything to me! 

When we see each other or speak to one another we get on really well but he's not making any effort to contact me and has postponed some of our scheduled times to meet up/not responded to all text messages (not that there is usually a question but hope for some sort of response!)

He has come up with many things over the last months including that he loves me but is not in love with me, that he doesn't think i love him, that he can't trust what I say etc. I've never given him any reason to think this but he views things like if i say i'm not going to eat chocolate for a week then do that i've shown my word means nothing or if i've had a bad week at work and am annoyed with someone and say something like i can't stand them then a few weeks later it's blown over and i'm ok with them that the initial comment was dishonest etc ditto with arguments with my family etc. Ironically he's the one that hides more important information such as about money or where he's going etc.

Anyway, the opinion I want is do i have blinkers on that given time this could sort itself out and he hasn't shut the door as I do really want it to or am i just seeing positive signs where there aren't any and he just sees me as a friend?


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

You sound like a backup plan unfortunately. I would stop chasing him. It soundsl ike he is in an EA, or a PA already.


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## jumanji (Aug 25, 2012)

Unfortunately that was the nagging fear in the back of my mind that led me to write on here! Not really chasing him-text him/phone a few times a week but mainly as we've got administrative stuff to deal with. Just torn as I'm dealing with all the practical stuff so wondering if he's keeping me sweet to make it all smoother etc (and beginning to feel used that he's just walked away and left me to deal with it all!!) Then on the other hand in the first few months i kept my distance (and to be honest was in the fog and trying identify things to fix!) and he said he thought i didn't care so keep wondering if i make the effort over time will he start to come round. Of course as you say there does seem to be an EA at the least going on but either way i don't seem exactly high on his list of priorities!!


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