# Desperate for guidance & direction



## gg2010 (Nov 7, 2010)

I have been married to my husband since 2/10/2007. As far as I knew we had a loving a thriving marriage. I was well aware he had a wife from a previous marriage and grown children, which he financially took care of and had paternal obligations. He made me aware that the mother of his children is also his cousin and he is obligated to her financially and supports her as such. This was my understanding and I was accepting of his sense of responsibility. I was also told that his children and their mother did know about me and our marriage, but understandably did not want any involvement with me. I met them all very early in our relationship, with the understanding of what I stated earlier. He was always traveling on military related work; he is a career US Marine. He was always busy with meetings, or having client issues in his civilian accounting job, and did spend a lot of time away from home traveling for work. Very recently he made me aware that his finances are not good and money is tight. Throughout our marriage he didn’t want me to work; I became isolated from my family and had no friends or social ties, as he didn’t approve of anyone. He took care of most things financially related and gave me money to live on. My children from previous marriage came to know him as their father figure; he was a normal part of their lives. They too are devastated and shocked; they are scared and feel ashamed and abandoned. I became and am completely dependent on him in every aspect; he was my only source for any and all things, my only family, my only friend. I have now come to know by sheer chance that he is indeed married to the mother of his children, and always has been. He is living in a home with her and his family, minutes from the home we share. He has a thriving business and an office also minutes from the home we share and his family’s home. His wife is his business partner and is involved in all financial aspects of his work. I located his office and went to see for myself if indeed this was true. When I located the suite, I was met by his wife, who was screaming at me and asking me to leave and telling me I was a ***** and so on. She tried to physically keep me from entering the office, resulting in pulling my hair and physically attacking me. I fought back and made my way in, he did nothing and has not spoken or seen me since that day. It was very apparent that throughout our entire marriage he has led a double life and lied about everything I always believed was the truth. In the time of our marriage, I became pregnant unexpectedly, he convinced me to have an abortion this past July 1, 2010. Currently he has left our home, denied he has anything to do with me, wants nothing to do with me, left me with no financial support of any kind, and no one to ask for help. He had a friend of his leave me a voice message informing me that I would not be arrested as his wife is a classy and respectable woman, who for the sake of my children, has decided not to press charges against me. He does not have a civil marriage license in the state of Florida with either me or his first wife, but we were married in a religious ceremony and have a marriage contract representing our union. I believe he has the same for his marriage with the first wife. He is a Muslim and states that where he comes from he can marry more than one woman. He lives in the USA and not abroad, and I was never made aware of his other life. Do I have any rights to ask for any support of any kind? I own nothing and share no assets or accounts with him. My name appears on all the utility bills, but only he is on the lease of the home we shared. He had most my legal documents changed to his last name, I don’t know what I can do to restore my last name, and be granted a religious divorce from this man. I would appreciate any help you can offer, as I am in a grave situation, and have two children to support.


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

Wow. What a terrible situation.
I feel for you, but don't know if there is anything that you can do legally.
I think that you should see a family legal representative at your local Family and Children's agency and tell them your story.
He may be liable for alimony or some type of support to you, but not to the kids if they aren't his. Go after their father for that as well.
Good luck.


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## gg2010 (Nov 7, 2010)

Thank you for taking the time to respond, I holding on to my faith that all this will be ok soon.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

He's a Marine? Go to his commander, they'll fix his sorry ass!


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

F-102 said:


> He's a Marine? Go to his commander, they'll fix his sorry ass!


Bingo!!
If he is enlisted, go to his Senior Enlisted Advisor, usually a Sargent Major. If he's an officer, go to the Commanding Officer. Even better, go to the Commanding Officer's *wife*.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

Just a question here. She says he does not have a civil marriage license with either of the Two of his wives. No license makes it invalid in most military services, what would his superiors do? It would seem that they aren't "legally" married?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanF (Sep 27, 2010)

DawnD said:


> Just a question here. She says he does not have a civil marriage license with either of the Two of his wives. No license makes it invalid in most military services, what would his superiors do? It would seem that they aren't "legally" married?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Possibly, but being a former Senior Enlisted myself, I doubt that they will allow him to just abandon her.


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## DawnD (Sep 23, 2009)

We are Army, so I don't know the Marine Corps backround very well. All I know from my experience with the military is that if the kids aren't his, they aren't legally married, it isn't really his abandoning her in their opinion. The Army chain of command can not FORCE a soldier to pay money to a spouse, it can only be obtained through court order. They can garnish his wages, but the commander cannot tell him to pay her any money. That is out of their scope, unless it is from a ruling a judge has made.


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## gg2010 (Nov 7, 2010)

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. He is a high ranking officer; however I don't know who his CO is. I was able to get email address for the Inspector General and the Department of the Navy ethics board. I sent a message to them as well as faxed the same to the fax number provided. Any additional direction would be greatly appreciated. Thank you again, God bless you.


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

Call Steve Wilkos-an ex Marine who knows what "Semper Fi" really means. Seriously, getting "married" without a marriage license? If he's drawing married benefits, he'll be breaking rocks at Camp LeJeune on the fraud charges alone.


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