# ouch



## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

So, it's been a while since I posted my own thread. A quick summary, my H had an affair, told me he no longer loved me and didn't want to be with me anymore. We have been together 10 yrs and have 2 small children. This all began in January, after I was diagnosed with severe depression. My world has been in turmoil and agony ever since. He moved out for 2 weeks but had to leave the place he was at, so now he's back, we are separated under the same roof. he is trying to move out, but finding the money is proving to be a challenge. He's been back since the end of April. I have discovered x rated pictures of him and the OW on his cell phone 6 weeks ago, and a text last week to another person about having sex with this [email protected] in his office and how it was the best ever. Can it get any worse? Just stick a knife in my heart now please and get it over with. So over the months of talking and talking and talking, he is just ready to give up and walk out, he "needs to clear his head". Oh, and this priceless one, "I just have to find out if there's anything better out there". 

Please tell me why, after all this, did I cry my eyes out a few minutes ago after he told me about a going away party for a co worker he was going to. It made me realize that I am no longer a part of his life, his plans. There really is no more "us" and it's killing me. I should hate him and want him out, should throw him out with nowhere to go. But I won't, can't. The worst part is knowing that he is not feeling this loss, he no longer wants to get his feelings back for me like he did 3 months ago. He just wants to not be married to me anymore. And I swear I was not a bad wife, I took good care of him, supported everything he did, I never did anything on purpose to hurt him. 

I'm just not ok with any of this.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I am sorry you are going thru this, but I understand how you feel about him not including you in his life anymore and seems like he just doesn't care about the situation. It still kills me to know that I no longer with be included in his plans hie life. H is able to go out and about without any sense of remorse.


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## jessi (Feb 11, 2009)

I feel bad for what you are going through, it seems like it is over for your marriage, it's time to concentrate on you and your life......
Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and work on being the best woman you can be, a little exercise a little make up......
Look your best, be your best and see what life brings you....
If he wants to be part of your life, if not, then that's up to him...
You can't change who he is but you can change who you are....
so what if that door is closed, see what other doors will open for you.........I bet he will start to change his thinking when he sees who you can be ........and how sexy you can be...........
You are the important one here.....


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## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

Thank you both, I understand what you are saying, but I'm finding it very difficult to let go. I am working on it, but every now and then it all comes crashing down on me. I still can't believe this is all happening. As far as looking good, due to all the stress I have lost 15 pounds, got a tan, and don't look half bad for 35, he even compliments me from time to time. It's going to be better once he has moved out, being separated under the same roof is not working out. I just hate that he seems to not care at all about what we've lost. He's too focused on all the a$$ he plans on chasing once he's "free".


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## Anna11 (May 26, 2010)

been there, i know how it feels, my husband left me for OW for 2 yrs and when he lost his job and me paying his luxury car..he came back because the OW cheated on him, karma but i am not the same anymore i have moved on , met a nice very good man and we are together as BF/GF for more than a year now. for those who expects that when W or H comes back it will be normal again? wrong it's never be the same, my kids have moved on as well


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## cantletgo (Mar 22, 2010)

Over the last few days my H has confused the hell out of me daily. He talks about things happening in the future like we will still be together. I don't know if this is just habit or what, but for example, the other day he was talking about how everyone in his office is moving out of state or out of town, and that he'll be the only there. He said he'd be able to work from home. So I say, "Well, guess that means you can go anywhere you want then." He comments on going to Michigan (where my family lives), so I say, "Yeah, guess you could do that if you want". And he says, "I said pack up everything and move everyone." I didn't really know what to say after that. And there has been a couple other things as well. What do I do? I asked him just last week if he was still looking for a place to live and he said yes, he was still going to move out. When I said that he'd be able to afford it with his next check because of his raise, he got this sad look on his face and made no comment. UGH!!!! Maybe it's just harder than I thought for him to face leaving the kids. Although I keep hope in my heart that he is sad about leaving me too.


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## Blue Moon (Sep 7, 2009)

Your husband wants his freedom but wants to know you'll still be there and that he won't be held accountable for his actions. Do not, I repeat DO NOT stay with him. He's going out and doing what he wants while using you to not feel bad about himself and will constantly hang around when the world outside is too cold for him. He's a parasite. Don't let him have his cake and eat it too, playing you for the fool in the process.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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