# My husband said my EA is not cheating!



## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Last night, I have come clean to my husband, telling him honestly about all my sexual fantasies & all the dreams I have for my OM. For I couldn't totally get rid of the OM from my mind, I opened up the communication with my husband, seeking for his help.

In the past, we had a big problem in our sexual relationship, which made me turn to OM for validations. The interesting part is because my husband is Italian, so eventually, to feed myself satisfaction, I found this OM who is also italian. After we get to know each other online, I started to idolise him and I gradually created a perfect image about him with my imaginations, for my musterbation. Musterbations are not the purpose but the result.

Because I couldn't get sexual satisfaction from my husband, so coincidentally, I found a man from similar background as my husband and made him my sexual parnter in my fictional worlds. As a result I started to get myself believed that he's the perfect man who is able to satisfy my every need in bed. I also dreamt about having great sex with him... I had lots of dreams about him.

We saw each other on web cam few times, and we don't really know each other in reality. We chatted online very often.

In fact, we had been online for 2 years. Around 2 years ago, I cut the contact with him because he's getting a bit more serious with me. 

He hinted that if I would get divorced, he would take my husband's place. He wanted to see me for real, starting from friendship.

I decided to cut contact with him because I realised that I couldn't take any commitment with him, even it's just friendship. I had no guts to step out my marriage for a PA although my sexual life was in despair.

I told him to find a nice single woman to be his girlfriend & I lied to him that I wanted to get back with my husband, so I told him to stay away from me. 

(Actually my heart was in great pain to cut the contact with him. I liked him very much. It's unfair to him for me to mess up his life, for I can't gaurantee him any future.)

He understood that I wasn't the girl for him to take anything seriously. (even friendship) He walked away without looking back on me until recently. He suddenly contacted me and then disappeared.

For many years, he's been my only fantasy. Now I want to work out my marriage problems that requires me to remove him from my mind & dreams; however, he keeps showing up, which has become an obstacle between me & my husband when it's time to get intimacy.

I asked my husband if it's possible that I have a need that my OM was able to meet but he, my husband, wasn't?

His answer was, "Yes, it's possible."
My OM was able to meet my desires because my delusion told me he's a perfect man for me to desire.

I asked my husband if he would regard my EA as cheating?

His answer was, "No."

He said in the past, when there's no internet, people would fantasize an singer or a movie star.

Nowadays there's internet, so people use internet as a channel to seek for validations when their partners aren't responsive.

He also told me most men on the internet would brag about themselves in front of online women. 

So he told me, my EA is not a cheating. In his point of views, they were all my imaginations.

For him, PA is cheating.

I felt very relieved because he didn't get mad with me.


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## nice777guy (Nov 23, 2009)

The problem I see is that fantasizing about movie stars rarely leads to sex with movie stars. Fantasizing about a man who you are in frequent contact with can lead to sex with that other man.

Your husband may not know it, but you are playing with fire.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

nice777guy said:


> The problem I see is that fantasizing about movie stars rarely leads to sex with movie stars. Fantasizing about a man who you are in frequent contact with can lead to sex with that other man.
> 
> Your husband may not know it, but you are playing with fire.


I believe what you said that "I'm playing with fire" is 100% true.

I'd actually thought about how to meet this guy & how should I plan a schedule that matched my husband's work & his work schedules for meeting him for PA.

PA was the target & I almost hit the road for it.

I mistakenly prayed to God for allowing me a lover because I begged Him to look at my sexless husband & my miserable sufferance. I begged for His mercy & forgiveness if I would have a PA with my OM. 

Thank God! He listened to my prayer by removing my OM & made my husband become a wonderful man, a best husband that I can ever wish for.

So anybody who badly wants a divorce. Don't try to pray! You will get opposite result. LOL

Marriage belongs to God under His will. He would fix all kinds of problems in marriage by putting the couple back together.

He has shown me another miracle on my maid's cheating husband as well. After we found out her husband's with his ex-gf, my maid felt so hurt. I prayed to God to wake up her husband being so stupid to cheat on his wife, when she's working overseas for the family & for him.

All out of a sudden, her husband got rid of his PA & became very remorseful to my maid, begging for her forgiveness.

I was very shocked that God solved marriage problems within 2 weeks from exposing the affair to solving the affair.

All above said is my testimony, a solemn attestation as to the truth of a matter.


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## Rob774 (Sep 27, 2010)

Thanks for sharing, that took a lot of guts to admit to us (granted we are all strangers) that you were steps from having a PA, but prayer and God works took you away from it. I'm an 11 year married vet and i tell people all the time, i won't cheat, not as much as i see it as morally wrong, but i see it 10x more spiritually wrong. The concerns i have in my marriage are minuscule in comparison to most people's so i basically convince myself... Don't sweat the small stuff. When you get married, you are in it for the long hall, i prayed for patience and got the feeling that things would work themselves out in time, and thus far they have.


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## MsLonely (Sep 23, 2010)

Rob774 said:


> Thanks for sharing, that took a lot of guts to admit to us (granted we are all strangers) that you were steps from having a PA, but prayer and God works took you away from it. I'm an 11 year married vet and i tell people all the time, i won't cheat, not as much as i see it as morally wrong, but i see it 10x more spiritually wrong. The concerns i have in my marriage are minuscule in comparison to most people's so i basically convince myself... Don't sweat the small stuff. When you get married, you are in it for the long hall, i prayed for patience and got the feeling that things would work themselves out in time, and thus far they have.


I think you're right. 

People can't see affairs spiritually wrong nor even morally wrong.

By the time their spouses find out the affairs, they've already damaged the marriage, including the other marriage, 2 familes.


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## L.M.COYL (Nov 16, 2010)

Rob774 you are dead on with that-cheating is spiritual death for the relationship and doesn't leave much for the cheater unless they end up with the other person for good!


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