# 2 babies and 1 child single parent



## familygirl (Dec 13, 2013)

single parent 1 newborn and two kids
It looks at though I am going to be a single parent. Our relationship is difficult so we have to part.

I have a 5 week old and a 15month old and a 5 year old.

Between the baby getting up twice a night and my other baby demanding attention and school runs with the oldest. I dont know how I am going to cope.

My partner can take children twice a week. But I think its the getting up twice a night that will drain me. My partner is still here now and Im exhaused already.

My pparent are both gone and the only friend that is good to me works full time.

Please advise x


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## RandomDude (Dec 18, 2010)

Sounds tough, have you thought about hiring outside help?


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## EnjoliWoman (Jul 2, 2012)

We just do. we plod through sleepless nights because we have to. Not exactly the hope you were looking for, I know, but you will find a strength you didn't know you had.

BUT - do you live near a college or a hospital? Even a community college? Maybe a nursing student or an LPN or other type of medical student (read: responsible; knows how to handle children) could live with you for minimal rent in exchange for getting up with the baby at night and giving you an evening off once a week. You give them a weekend night off so they can have a social life. 

Baby will be sleeping through the night, or at least 6 hour stretch very soon. Right now it seems like years but if you can tough it out a little longer it will be OK.

ETA - I know not everyone will think this is a good idea, but lots of mothers start adding rice cereal to the last feeding at night to keep them full longer so they won't wake up due to hunger. Talk to your pediatrician for ideas on getting baby to sleep longer and make sure it's OK to do that. Usually it's fine as long as they don't have any digestive issues.


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## DoF (Mar 27, 2014)

Don't think about it or what's to come, just do it as it comes.

Worries are often just that and nothing more. Learn to ignore them.

If you are a good mother you will be just fine. Do your best, keep your head up and be positive.

You will be JUST fine


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## Miss Taken (Aug 18, 2012)

Hang in there. You don't know what you're capable of until you are FORCED to be. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant when I separated from my spouse and had an 8 year old son who did not cope at all well with the separation. I did it all by myself when it came to the youngest and their dad took oldest on the weekends. Other than that, I was on my own for eleven months.

My parents are both gone too and I have no family close by. Some how I trudged through it.

If you don't already do it, I suggest co-sleeping if you're breastfeeding. It makes it a bit easier. I'm sure you have a lot of equipment already from your 15 month old but if you don't, swings, bouncy chairs, exersaucers, jolly jumpers etc. are your friend. One of the things I needed most help with was just having somewhere to put my son. Having these different things helped. 

Different slings are also a must have so you can free up your arms to hold your other kids's hands, push strollers, get things done.

Another thing I did was go to free baby groups. It gets you out of the house and helps you socialize with other moms. I made a friend who was in the same shoes as I was and it helped a lot.


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## Homemaker_Numero_Uno (Jan 18, 2011)

familygirl said:


> single parent 1 newborn and two kids
> It looks at though I am going to be a single parent. Our relationship is difficult so we have to part.
> 
> I have a 5 week old and a 15month old and a 5 year old.
> ...


I did that with an 8 month old, a disabled 4 year old and a teenager. I looked at a map and my schedule and the transportation (and medical) needs of each child as well as things such as grocery stores, pharmacies, medical appointments, accessibility to good sitters (Occupational Therapy/Early childhood ed majors), parks with playgrounds, and schools (long term thinking) that could accommodate, plus the hockey rink for eldest child and accessibility to jobs (for teen and myself if had to change employment for unknown/unpredicted reason.) 

Got the smallest place that would accommodate us (less cost for heating, electric, upkeep, chasing kids around) put stuff in storage.

Regained sanity.

Now life is easy. I use the same tactics but not so much stress as disability kid is more or less fixed/on maintenance, and everyone is out of diapers. Had to jettison the eldest when he turned 19, he was squawking about the all-natural chicken not being organic. So kicked him out to fend for himself knowing full well he could. Going to his college graduation this weekend, we think the kick out is funny. Point is, don't do more than you really have to. Don't discount your kids helping out if you explain the need, age-appropriately.

You will be fine!

It is a LOT easier to parent as a single parent than to parent when in a relationship that is not working.

Oh, also get cheap doubles at second hand store for things ex/stbx will forget to return, such as hats, mittens, boots, car seats, strollers, etc. Label the special stuff (dolls, etc.) with your cell number and an 'if found' please call... message. 

Also if he has issues with picking up and dropping off on time, have pick up/drop off at child care location, and make sure the child care knows if issues arise to call him on his custody days and you on yours. Once had a child care place say I was a bad mum because I would not bring extra undies to my kid on my non-parenting day when I was scheduled to work all day. Bottom line is dad forgot to drop them off. I held my ground. Said they could borrow a pull up from some other parent or their closet and get the dad to reimburse/replace. Not my problem, not like the kid was really going to suffer. 

You need to 'train' people to go to the dad when it's his turn to be responsible, otherwise people will harass you to death. That said, make sure you get a call in an emergency. 

Also I set up my child care so that we both paid directly to the child care provider. Whatever proportion. And late fees, etc. given to person who is late.

And, family bed. Put baby on safe side, just sleep on mattress on floor, with blanket sleepers for the kids and just a light covering. More sanity.


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