# Settlement offer on the table



## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

For those who have gone through their divorce and those in the middle of it for that matter, how long should you leave an offer on the table before you decide they have turned down the offer and just are not responding to it?


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

I'd say if you haven't heard anything for a week then you're not going to.


----------



## Lost40 (Dec 27, 2014)

I'm following this thread, we just started ours on Monday. I think. Hell I don't really know what we're doing, all I know is - we have to go to court next week since we've filed a motion to raise support, and that kind of started this whole - should we settle first thing. I doubt we will before court next week. Maybe before the one in May.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Lawyers are notorious for not accepting/denying or even seriously negotiating until a court date nears.

Each side thinks the other will panic and make the "deal of a lifetime". It rarely seems to be effective but every lawyer thinks it works.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jane139 (Jan 6, 2015)

If it were my husband...he is such a procrastinator, he does not even open his mail for weeks or longer, if at all. I have not yet filed, but know this will be an issue (getting him to review, sign, return forms, etc) even if he basically agrees to terms. Not sure how I will deal with it when I do file. I know I will have to keep after him.

Can you ask your lawyer to find out the status, i.e see if the hold-up is with the spouse or due to lawyer's advice?


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

honcho said:


> Lawyers are notorious for not accepting/denying or even seriously negotiating until a court date nears.


True. But not because of what you wrote here:



honcho said:


> Each side thinks the other will panic and make the "deal of a lifetime". It rarely seems to be effective but every lawyer thinks it works.


They don't seriously negotiate until the court date nears because they are aware of their clients assets and they bilk them for as much as they can get before they settle, which they are fully aware they could have done from the very start.

Who do you think your lawyer is working for? If you answered "Me" then you're wrong. They work for themselves, their families, their retirement funds, their chiildren's college fund. They don't want cases to settle quickly. If they did that, how are they going to pay for their Porshe?


----------



## toonaive (Dec 13, 2012)

lenzi said:


> True. But not because of what you wrote here:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This! :iagree:


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

lenzi said:


> True. But not because of what you wrote here:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No I completely agree. Its part of the theatre of divorce. Its seems they do a dog n pony show to give appearance of "fighting" for you. Then a week before an actual court date they get serious.

In most divorce it just doesn't take that long to look at assets and liabilities. We don't have empires to divide.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Jane139 (Jan 6, 2015)

Lawyers count a lot on word of mouth, so they do want to please their clients, believe it or not...most times, I think they are acting on behalf of client's wishes.


----------



## honcho (Oct 5, 2013)

Jane139 said:


> Lawyers count a lot on word of mouth, so they do want to please their clients, believe it or not...most times, I think they are acting on behalf of client's wishes.


A clients wishes, best interests and "the deal" are three different things. 

Learn as much as you can about the divorce process and laws in your state before hiring a lawyer. Also keep in mind your only half of the divorce process. You never know what your spouse will hire for a lawyer. Messy divorces atr often caused by two lawyers that just butt heads.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Gonna Make It (Dec 3, 2012)

I would tend to agree. My last one was incompetent.

In the end, the only ones coming out ahead in a divorce are the lawyers. You are not going to get everything, and neither is your STBX. The sooner both sides get that through their thick skulls and get down to the business of dividing things, the cheaper it is. But most people divorcing have been hurt so many times by their X that they would be willing to cut off their nose to spite their face and not think twice about it. If the lawyer was looking out for the best interest, they would work to get the client to divorce themselves of the emotion too.

I really think that is where states have a problem, they should have mandatory therapy sessions for the divorcing parties to work out their emotional issues- not marriage therapy but individual therapy- for so many hours. Kind of like how my state requires parents to attend a parenting class about putting children first. Sure, a lot of parents might show up because they are required to, but it might actually help some of them to see the light.

Oh, and still quiet but it has only been since Monday. Of course it would be nice to receive a "We got your email" from them, even if was to include "Your offer is horrible, try again". Oh well, Bankruptcy awaits me on the other side...


----------



## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

Jane139 said:


> Lawyers count a lot on word of mouth, so they do want to please their clients, believe it or not...most times, I think they are acting on behalf of client's wishes.


They're acting alright.


----------

