# trying to reconcile



## Ryan2711

Just after two months of being separated my wife txt me saying she wants her family back then asked if i was over her. i said no i still love you she replied saying she did too. on our anniversary of 5 years of getting to together she came to my house and stayed first thing i did when she walked in the door was kiss her! then the hard stuff she told me to stop messaging the girl that i was even looked through the messages so i cut her off. then i asked bout the guy she has been hanging with she said he stayed the night once. which hurt but we both i guess thought it was over. for the next few days i stayed at her house and enjoyed hanging out. then i went to work she txt saying she isnt sure if she can get passed me messaging her. but said she forgives me and loves me etc. i still am staying ever now and again catch up all the time steal the occasional kiss. taking it slow which is harder than i thought but best for us. im looking for advice i think i am doing well but just need to make sure. any advice would be great thanks


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## Mr.Married

You need to read your message after you finish typing. It is very difficult to understand and can lead to some advice that does not apply.

Use the edit feature.


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## Ryan2711

Mr.Married said:


> You need to read your message after you finish typing. It is very difficult to understand and can lead to some advice that does not apply.
> 
> Use the edit feature.


Hi i understand it however im not great at explaining things on a keyboard. what parts do you not understand ill try clear it up for you.
Thank you


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## Mr.Married

So she gets upset you message a girl but she gets to have a man sleep over. Seems a little strange don't ya think ?


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## Ryan2711

oh right i should of added a bit more there. it was one of our friends that we both knew and she probably shouldnt of read the messages but i was trying to be honest and tell her we were flirting.i never hang out with her after she knew we were separated because i still loved my wife and didnt want anything to happen. also i should have stop messaging her when my wife said she wanted her family back but didnt until my wife show up on my doorstep. or maybe she feels guilty bout what she has done which i haven't mentioned really at all. because it seems that all it did was make her realize how much better i was.


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## Ryan2711

however i want to leave that behind and need the advice on reconnecting and what to do or not to do when taking it slow.
Thank you


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## Lostinthought61

so let me understand this...she cheats on you, and she is pissed about you messaging a girl what a freaking hypocrite did you tell her that....if this reconcile is to work she need to own her crap 100% Do not allow her to write the narrative.


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## Ryan2711

i dont think they did anything but i didnt ask either coz i didnt want to know at the moment lol. will probably come up later if it does work out im just enjoying hanging out again at the moment. we were both separated at the time so i dont really feel like we have done anything wrong. both of us thought it was over thats why we went separate ways and did things we both regret.


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## RebuildingMe

Ryan2711 said:


> i dont think they did anything but i didnt ask either coz i didnt want to know at the moment lol. will probably come up later if it does work out im just enjoying hanging out again at the moment. we were both separated at the time so i dont really feel like we have done anything wrong. both of us thought it was over thats why we went separate ways and did things we both regret.


You can’t reconcile if you don’t know the truth. That is called rugsweeping and will catch up to you later in a bad way. Best to find out now what she did or didn’t do.


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## Cynthia

Why did you move out in the first place? 

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## Mr.Married

You didn’t address the man in her bed with her. You did not hold her accountable. It sounds like all you want to do is apologize for yourself and move on. Rug sweeping is always a bad strategy.....always.


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## Marduk

Ryan2711 said:


> Just after two months of being separated my wife txt me saying she wants her family back then asked if i was over her. i said no i still love you she replied saying she did too. on our anniversary of 5 years of getting to together she came to my house and stayed first thing i did when she walked in the door was kiss her! then the hard stuff she told me to stop messaging the girl that i was even looked through the messages so i cut her off. then i asked bout the guy she has been hanging with she said he stayed the night once. which hurt but we both i guess thought it was over. for the next few days i stayed at her house and enjoyed hanging out. then i went to work she txt saying she isnt sure if she can get passed me messaging her. but said she forgives me and loves me etc. i still am staying ever now and again catch up all the time steal the occasional kiss. taking it slow which is harder than i thought but best for us. im looking for advice i think i am doing well but just need to make sure. any advice would be great thanks


I have no idea what you're saying, but it sounds like you're both cheating on each other but want to reconcile?


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## Diana7

Ryan2711 said:


> i dont think they did anything but i didnt ask either coz i didnt want to know at the moment lol. will probably come up later if it does work out im just enjoying hanging out again at the moment. we were both separated at the time so i dont really feel like we have done anything wrong. both of us thought it was over thats why we went separate ways and did things we both regret.


So as soon as you separated she cheated on you, and she is annoyed that you messaged someone else buts that as far as it went? Such a hypocrite. I think she wants you back because she doesnt want you being with anyone else.


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## Decorum

She just wants to carry on like it never happened. 

Do you think she was thinking of you or herself when she showed up?

Is that not the same mentality that started all this?

Why would you think it will end differently this time?


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## Mr.Married

Sounds like your pu$$y-whipped. 

She is gonna run all over you like Oscar pistorious except without the blade leg things.


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## Cynthia

Marduk said:


> I have no idea what you're saying, but it sounds like you're both cheating on each other but want to reconcile?


That's what it sounds like to me also. 

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk


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## Cynthia

Or did your leaving have something to do with your relationship with the woman you were texting?

We really are blind as to what kind of advice would be beneficial to you, because we have a vague story about what happened to get you to this place.


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## Marc878

I got news for you bud her boyfriend didn't spend the night watching tv and playing checkers.

Better wake up


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## Tilted 1

Yes l.also agree she did her other man, and it doesn't look too good for you my man, when you say "lol" Cheating is never something to laugh about. She just wants you back because you support her and is using you as a bank. Or is trying to save face to someone. I would really rethink about the reconciliation, l don't think you have a firm grasp on this because " you just want to hang" what in the world is this about your married, and yet you have no self-respect for yourself that you settle for scraps from another man's bed after he banged your wife. Quit being gullible and show some of strength in this matter of your wife spending the night in another man's bed.


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