# Weird situation!



## blessed18 (Jun 4, 2018)

I gave birth to 3 kids, and I have a step son. We all live together. I find it unbelievably strange and unhealthy that my husband feels some kind of way because i don't mind changing or getting undressed if my birth babies walk in and see me, but i have an issue if step son sees me! I find this uncomfortable and step son is the oldest of the kid's. Why would I not be uncomfortable with him seeing me naked? I find it disturbing. Any advice? Thanks in advance.


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## SadSamIAm (Oct 29, 2010)

Depends on the age of the children. 

If your kids are 6 and 7 and the step son is 9, then I agree with your husband.

If your kids are 2 and 3 and the step son is 6, then I agree with you.

I think once kids are school age, it is probably time to teach them about privacy.


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## personofinterest (Apr 6, 2018)

I get it. I'm VERY careful when my stepson is with us. I'm not his mom. I don't want him to see me in my undies or less!

My biokids are both in their 20's, and though I'd be horribly embarrassed if they walked in on me, I wouldn't be near as mortified. Cause I birthed them.

Honestly, if this is the biggest thing he has to complain about, life must be pretty good. Why is this even a thing?


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## SentHereForAReason (Oct 25, 2017)

blessed18 said:


> I gave birth to 3 kids, and I have a step son. We all live together. I find it *unbelievably strange and unhealthy* that my husband feels some kind of way because i don't mind changing or getting undressed if my birth babies walk in and see me, but i have an issue if step son sees me! I find this uncomfortable and step son is the oldest of the kid's. Why would I not be uncomfortable with him seeing me naked? I find it disturbing. Any advice? Thanks in advance.


I wouldn't go that far unless he continues to press and harp on this.

It's my guess that he fully doesn't understand and thinks you are just being silly and wants his son to be treated just the same as the others, just my guess. It's different I get that and he should respect your feelings but I would not call it unbelievably strange/unhealthy.


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## Ab10lah (Jul 1, 2018)

You can easily resolve it by putting a stop to your getting undressed in front of your bio-kids as well.


Though your husband is probably over reacting, and you didn't mention the ages of all the kids involved, it may be better in the long run, because you don't want your step-son feeling alienated. Also, if your kids and the step-son are close in age, at some point, you will need to have to provide answers when they ask why step-son can't see you undress but they can.

I feel it may just be easier to make it a general restriction, to avoid unnecessary argument or the children feeling there is some kind of subtle unfairness in your family.


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## Adelais (Oct 23, 2013)

How old was your step son when he began to live with you? How old is he now?

I believe that depending on the age the step son moved in, I would have not have undressed in front of him. He is not blood, and I wouldn't want him to misinterpret anything or get any strange ideas. Maybe I would have undressed in front of him if he moved in when he was 3, and then stopped when he turned 6.

I undressed in front of our children (with my back turned once they turned 6 or so) from the day they were born until they were old enough to decide to leave the room on their own. As they got older, they were grossed out at seeing mom or dad undressing! They are all very private about undressing. Maybe because their dad and I were too relaxed about them seeing our backsides!


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## KM87 (Nov 5, 2017)

I agree with a previous poster that your husband is probably viewing it from a fairness angle. He doesn't want his son to feel alienated in his home in any way. However, you probably don't either! Have you shared with your husband that it's not at all an issue of favoritism, but rather your personal level of comfort and discretion? 

I believe I am in a very similar situation (my stepson is the oldest at 12, and my 3 bio kids are 7, 2 and 4 months). I wouldn't dream of appearing before my stepson in anything less than a good, modest set of jammies. And it's not at all an issue of favoritism, but my comfort, and not wanting there to ever be any issue arising from me being misrepresented as having exposed myself to him (knowing his mother, I tread very carefully and that's just wisdom!). Maybe you can help your husband see it that way? If not, i agree with previous posters in that perhaps you shouldn't change in front of any of the kids.


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## Diana7 (Apr 19, 2016)

If they are all adults, then why the need for any of them to see you undressing or naked? I thought these were little children not adults!


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## OnTheFly (Mar 12, 2015)

Just keep the door closed, for the entire 30sec your boobs are hanging out.


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