# Embarrassed when my hubby initiates sex after a long spell



## mostlyhappy02 (Jan 27, 2012)

My husband and I have a great sex life for the most part. He traveled for business for years and after being gone for a week, he'd return home Fridays sexually famished, wanting sex dirty and wild. I'd get really self conscious and embarrassed and want to literally hide under the covers, sometimes with tears. He was always patient during these moments, usually coaxing me into the mood. It's almost as if I have to warm up before jumping into the pool. Usually by the next day, I'd be fine and ready for whatever, not self conscious or embarrassed. 

When we are having sex regularly, I do not get embarrassed at all, light can be on, sheets can be off, no inhibitions, he can have what he wants (within our comfort zone). Now my hubby has been out of town for the first time in several years, gone since Monday. Any advice as to how not to revert back to being embarrassed and self conscious once he gets home? I want to give him what he wants and I do not want him to think I do not want him.


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

do you have any ideas on why you feel this way only at these times?


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## mostlyhappy02 (Jan 27, 2012)

Not really, I don't. It's almost as if how bad he wants sex embarrasses me. Not like I look down on what he wants. Maybe the emotional connection is overwhelming?


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

do you have sex regularly when he is at home?
maybe he just misses you so much he cant wait to have you after he is gone for a period of time.
it also may be a good sign he is not cheating on you while on the road.
all that sexual build up just waiting for him to see you.


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## Enchantment (May 11, 2011)

We had another poster here a while back who was separated for longer than a week spans and had the same kind of problem. For her, what it boiled down to was the fact that she needed her husband to try and connect with her a bit outside of sex first when he came home.

What do you normally do when he first gets home? Is it hop right in to bed, or do you take some time to get a bit reacquainted first?

Best wishes.


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## LovesHerMan (Jul 28, 2011)

No reason to feel embarassed. When he has gone several days without release, sexual tension builds up inside him, and he wants to express his love to you. I see this as a good sign that he has not cheated on you on his trip, and he is glad to see you.

Focus on his love for you rather than on the animalistic passion. Think of yourselves as reunited lovers who want to express their joy at seeing each other again.

So much of sex is in the brain, so work on re-fousing your thoughts to enjoying his home coming.

My husband is a commercial airline pilot, and we always have our most passionate sex on the first day back from his trips. I can't wait to show him how much I missed him!


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## mostlyhappy02 (Jan 27, 2012)

To 2nd_t!me iz_best: We have sex about 2-3 times a week these days. Sometimes 4 -5 times a week, but probably has not been that frequency in more than 6 months. Have been together almost 12 years, married almost 10 years, no children. and yes, shew, that is a good sign there is no outside hanky panky.

To Enchantment: We do not usually hop right into bed. When he returned in years past, it'd be in the evening time with errands to run, dinner to cook, that sort of thing. He would ask for me not to make outside plans with friends so that he could just focus on being at home. Today he will be returning pretty late in the evening, it might not be 9:20pm until we get home from the airport.

Thanks for your advice, ps this was my first post but I have been reading this forum for a few weeks now.


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## Diolay (Jan 25, 2012)

WHat it happening is as plain as the nose on your face and so is the answer.
While he's away, he's thinking about you and hormones are going into overdrive here. He starts thinking about how he loves you and wants to show you by ravishing your body. (In what he percieves as being very romantic and loving way of course). To get past your anxiety, do the same thing. Start thinking erotic thoughts and yes, get horney thinking about them. Think about what you would like to have done to you and what you would like to do to him. Here's a thought, take this time to write down your thoughts and put it into an erotic letter. Give it to him when he comes home. WHo knows, might get some sky rockets in flight here.


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## mostlyhappy02 (Jan 27, 2012)

Well, no performance anxiety last night! Hubby started off slow and sweet, and I had mentally prepared myself for his homecoming. Hopefully I can keep insecurities at bay the next time either of us has to leave town.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

mostlyhappy02 said:


> Well, no performance anxiety last night! Hubby started off slow and sweet, and I had mentally prepared myself for his homecoming. Hopefully I can keep insecurities at bay the next time either of us has to leave town.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


good job :smthumbup:


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