# She said she did not want to be with me no more



## 101rob101 (Feb 25, 2013)

Hi, this is my first time here, not sure really what to expect, but i suppose it will give me a release in some way.

Here is my story, i met my wife back in 2002, we just clicked instantly, but not long after we got together she started to become moody and sometimes aggressive with me, i found out about 4 months into the relationship the she had suffered with depression for a couple of years before we had met, it didn't bother me, and least at this time i had a reason for her mood changes.

i shall fast forward a little but will say that throughout the relationship she had many episodes where she would be in a mood for no reason, but sometimes there where reasons, we have gone through so much together but always got through it.

We got married in 2011 it was the best day of our lives, it was her who asked me to marry her. now to the problem, as i have said she has always suffered with these emotional problems, which i will say seems to run in her family, her mother and sisters all suffer from depression. at the beggining of last year my wife was diagnosed with cancer, it was the biggest shock to our live, we where both so scared, she is the love of my life and i didn't want to lose her, she fought really hard through the treatment and six monther later she was given the all clear, we where over the moon with this, but knew that the cancer could come back, but so far to this day it has not returned 

about a month after she was given the all clear she started to change, she became very moody and really aggressive, and yes i have said she was like this throughout our relationship, but this was different, she would constantly put me down, call me some of the most horrible name that hurt so much, and would hit me often, and i will be honest, at times of complete stress with the way i was being treated and hurt i did argue back and say things i didn't mean, which i always said i was sorry for, but she never said she was sorry for anything.

We do have children. So this treatment which was really bad and at times i was hurt by her not just emotionally but physically too, when i asked her why she was treating me like this she said the strangest this, she said she was treating me like this because she didn't want to be with me anymore, she didn't love me, and she just wanted to be happy and she wanted ME to hate her and this is why she was hurting me, i could never hate her i love her so much, she is my world and we have been through so much together, i though we would stay together forever, i stayed and took this treatment for about three months then thought it would be best for me to get away to give it time to calm down as it was starting to affect the children.

that was 2.5 months ago, i am sat here really sad and wanting to go home to my family, but everytime i try to talk to her about it she just becomes very agrressive towards me, to the point where she was really bad with me and i sat there crying and all she said to me was "do you want a tissue to wipe them tears away" she has gone very cruel to the point where it is evil, i dont know why this has happened, i dont know why she has changed so much, i love this woman with all my heart and i dont think i will be able to stop loving her, yes the abuse was worng and i should not have to take this, but i dont care, i just want my family back, i want my wife and children in my life, and it is hard when i have the children tell me everyday that they miss me and want me to come home, this hurts so much.

I dont know what to do, i dont know if this is through all the things she has just gone through, but she will not talk to me, she just keeps telling me to accept that it is over, but then on valentines day i gave her some flowers a card and a teddy bear, she took them and it looked like she was going to cry with happiness, she even put the card up on the fireplace. but then the next day she was back to being cruel with me. I dont know if i should believe that she wants it over, all i want is to go home, i feel like a broken man without her, i love her so much and dont know what to do, i am really confused. I did ask her if there was anyone else, she said no and i truely believe her.

I dont know if i will get a reply to this, i just want to know maybe that we can sort these problems out so i can return home to my family. i am devastaed by all this.

Can anyone give me any advice if this can work again, if we can get back together?


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## 101rob101 (Feb 25, 2013)

Can anyone offer me any advice please.


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## 101rob101 (Feb 25, 2013)

Is there anyone here that can offer me any advice or hope on these problems


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

Start manning up, and look at doing the 180. You're not going to be able to "nice" her into liking you again. It's time to start looking after yourself and being a good example for the kids. 

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TBT (Dec 20, 2011)

101,can I suggest you edit your OP into smaller paragraphs as it is sometimes hard for posters to follow a wall of text.You may get more replies that way.


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

I want to know,Who do you love more?
Yourself or
your 
STBXW?

If you love her more, you need to work on yourself.


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## DavidWYoung (Feb 3, 2012)

Yes, it took me 300 post to figure out "Hit the ENTER key a lot!"


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## Love Song (Jan 16, 2012)

ask her to go to MC.


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## Po12345 (Apr 28, 2011)

Respect yourself, if she doesn't, then dont' give her the time of day. Sleep on the couch, do whatever you have to do, be cordial but stop doing anything NICE that you normally do. Follow the 180 steps, and remember that the 180 isn't about her, it's about getting you back to feeling good about yourself and being self sufficient. 

If she chooses to be with you, great, if she continues to act like an A-hole and treat you like crap, then you can get the strength to move on, and take care of your kids.


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## 101rob101 (Feb 25, 2013)

Thank you for your replys. Looking at my post it looks like i have been taking this for now reason, and maybe i do love her more than i love myself. I will try the 180, i suppose it is time to look after myself.

Amd i do take care of my children, i see them at least two time through the week and i have them at weekends, they know they are loved by be and i tell them every night when i speak to them.

But as i say, thank you all for your replys.


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