# Met the lawyer today



## CaliMomof3 (Jan 3, 2011)

I just need a place to work though my feelings and thoughts. I am overwhelmed emotionally. I met with my lawyer today and he told me that if everything goes smoothly the divorce could be final (except for the waiting period) in as little as three weeks. While I am the one initiating this I still feel overwhelmed. I do care about my husband however I don't want to be with him any more. I am terrified of causing the children hurt or resentment. I want him to leave me alone but I don't want him to walk away from the children. I've been trying so hard to be decent and friendly and he constantly railroads me and takes advantage of any opportunity to emotionally batter me. He uses the children as justification and recently told me how he cannot stand any day not seeing them. He never paid any attention to them prior to moving out 6 months ago and even now he will come in and try to hug me or hold me and after I push him away he'll go into the room with the kids and just generally acknowledge them.

I do not want to resume the relationship with him; being with him drains me and leaves me emotionally hollow and unable to function properly. I am afraid of being on my own; the responsibility of providing for three children with no family support, no where to turn but that is not reason enough to stay. I do not want to hurt my children any more than necessary; they love their father and he is finally paying them attention for the first time in their lives. He doesn't parent he only wants to be their best friend which the children love and drives me crazy but again they are finally getting some of their dad. 

I don't know what I am looking for in this post, I just need to work through my thoughts. I don't doubt that I am doing what is best for me and my sanity. I guess it is all just sinking in, the ramifications of this decision.

Thanks for listening.


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## DjF (Nov 24, 2010)

Keep on posting, share your thoughts...I'm not sure I have any words of comfort you you, but perhaps your words will help others...

We all deserve to work toward happiness, sounds to me you've had your share of burdens...I hope you can find peace, one day at a time...God Bless!!!


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## Tiredspouse0297 (Dec 9, 2010)

I'm moving out of the house this week, no long drawn out separation, I'm going to file next week. Luckily we don't have kids together but we do have two each of our own. I'm with you on the overwhelmed, emotionally drained part. The forced hugs etc. are just too much. Tonight my husband decided to drown his sorrows in a bottle of vodka and that just made it even worse. Hang in there and stick to your guns. I'm scared as well but since this is my second time I at least know what to expect.


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## divorceindex (Feb 9, 2012)

Hi.... I am very sorry to hear. There are no words to comfort you. It is better to consult the good lawyer to take divorce. 

Tampa divorce lawyer
Portland divorce lawyer


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

I went through this when I divorced my ex some time ago. What I finally did was to tell him that I would only discuss matters pertaining to our son via email. And through my attorney we set it up so that when one of us picked up or dropped off our son, we would just pull up the other's house and our son would either come out to the car (for pickup) or go from car to house (drop off). 

I could not have him in my house because he would do things that were very upsetting when he was there. It took a few years before I was comfortable enough to let him in my home.


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