# I press for it, I get rejected



## CatShem (Jun 2, 2010)

Brand new here, hello. 

My name's Cat, I'm a newlywed (I guess I would still count as one? Got marriage in July of last year.) I understand that sex isn't ALL THE TIME, but before we were married, it happened ALL THE TIME. Now, it seems we're married and we're both too tired/stressed/unhealthy/whatever to do it.

Some background for understanding: My husband is a software programer for a government contracted company, and he just proved himself a valuable asset. Now he's got some more work on him. He's a very ambitious 25yr old who pretty much feels like he failed at life, because what he wanted to do didn't happen. I'm 21 and still finishing up college. I'm not overly ambitious. So, we clash whenever he rants about his 'self failures'. I try to tell him it will come overtime and not over night, but it doen't help him.

So, anyway, our once awesome sex life is almost in the toilet. To help it, he brought up the idea of Tantric sex, patient and learning about each other. I'm willing to try it, problem is, I bring it up and he rejects me with a sad smile and an "I love you." I've come to associate 'I love you' with rejection.

I just need to know if there's ANYTHING that can advise me in this.


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## Mr.Fisty (Nov 4, 2014)

Get books about relationships on her needs, his needs. Ask him on how to improve your sex life, and ask him to research on how to prioritize and fix the relationship. Let him research the subject, and let him do the work to learn. He will hopefully realize how important this connection is for you. If he doesn't, then he prioritize his job and ambition over you. Then you know where you stand. He needs to learn on his own that a relationship take work too, and he has to learn to leave work at work, and change his mindset when he is at home.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

Zombie thread from 2010. I rather doubt the OP will be back


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## lenzi (Apr 10, 2012)

4 yrs is nothing when you think about the dinosaurs.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

I feel bad that not one person responded to her post back in 2010.


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

lenzi said:


> 4 yrs is nothing when you think about the dinosaurs.


or for zombies :rofl:


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## EleGirl (Dec 3, 2011)

soccermom2three said:


> I feel bad that not one person responded to her post back in 2010.


Threads go without being answered all the time. When there is a lot of activity, threads roll of the first 2 pages pretty quickly. 

I try to remember at least once a day to go and check back 4-5 pages to see if anyone's thread rolled off. Often there will be one or more that have no replies or only 1-2. So I reply and bump them back to the top.


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## soccermom2three (Jan 4, 2013)

How did you even find it?


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