# Husband told me last night he wants divorce



## mercy79 (Jul 13, 2010)

Hi Everyone-

I found this site and it seems like a great place for support.

My husband informed me last night he wants a divorce. He said he thinks he'd like to have children and knows this would not really be possible with me. We've been together for 8 years, very happy fun, loving years. I have kidney problems (lifelong) and was told recently that having a child would very high-risk. He has known about most of this since we met, and we have always been on the fence about having children. While these issues do not impact me as far as living a normal life, he said he's been thinking for the past few weeks and came to this decision. I asked about adoption, and he said it was not an option. He cried and told me I was the best wife any man could ask for, that none of this is my fault and he didn't want to hurt me.

I am still in shock, as we have not had any issues, we've truly had a great marriage. We laugh, joke and are best friends. I must add that I've stood by him through some very tough times, offered my support and forgiveness, and now I feel like he is just discarding me because I'm slightly "defective" (for lack of a better word). How does someone simply let go of someone who's loved them unconditionally because of this?

Sorry for such a long thread, but I suppose I'm just reeling here and the floor just dropped from under me.

Any words would be greatly appreciated- just nice to know I'm not the only one going through something like this


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## HappyAtLast (Jan 25, 2010)

I am so sorry you are going through this...I've been separated for 6 months so I kind of know what you're going through.
Is he having an affair? The reason I'm asking this is because you stated that you've been through some tough times and that you've forgiven him. When I read that, a big red flag went up. And I don't think it's because you're "defective" as you stated, and he's known about this for some time.
Has he been acting different lately? Have his moods changed any? I'm no expert, but I just got a funny feeling when I read this.
He says that you're the best wife anybody could have....so why would he kick you to the curb just like that?
I hope I'm wrong.
Wishing you all the best.


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## mercy79 (Jul 13, 2010)

Thanks for your words. He told me there's definitely not anyone else. But most people never really tell the truth about having an affair. We've been both been acting as we always have- having fun, joking around, being very loving with each other, etc. I don't think we ever really know our spouses completely. We all house our secrets... it's sad.

How are you dealing with it? What keeps you going?

I have been playing Annie Lennox all day, sad I know, but I need to hear it! 

I also forgot to mention he did this last night and today is our 8 year anniversary...ugh!


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## HappyAtLast (Jan 25, 2010)

Actually, I'm doing pretty good. My husband and I have been spending a lot of time together lately, and we've been talking about getting back together again. We've been married for a very long time, been through so much, and love each other deeply. We had a lot of issues to deal with before that were never dealt with, and then gradually, everything came to the surface and we fought constantly. In the midst of this, he was having what appeared to be an emotional affair with a young woman, and that just made a bad situation even worse.
But we've done a lot of talking, a lot of soul searching, and I want us to get back together again so bad, and knowing what we know now, I think we can make a fresh start. 
Just by reading a lot of post on here, this happens a lot more than I ever thought it did. And it makes me wonder why this has to happen.


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