# Should I get a divorce?



## binky (Oct 26, 2011)

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years and it has been very rocky. I am from another country and only this year, was I approved to work in the US. We are finally starting to get on our feet financially but we still get into heated arguements. The last time we argued, it became physical. He pushed me down and restrained me, so I could not leave. He is an alcoholic but had given it up for a few days when the last fight occured. In the past, he has blamed everything on me and made me feel very guilty for not having a job, even though I was not legally entitled to work in the US until Aug 2011. He has been so drunk at times, he has urinated on the carpet, blasted music at 3 AM on a school night and told his co-workers personal stories about us, putting me in a very negative light. I am at my wit's end and don't know what to do. I have nobody here but him and he knows it. My mother died this past summer and he didn't even go to the funeral with me. I feel like I am nothing to him and I don't know what to do.


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## HerToo (Oct 3, 2011)

Have you talked to him about the problems? The fact that he got physical and abuses alcohol is a dangerous mix. Ask him to get help with his drinking. If he won't, leave. It will never get any better.


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## Prodigal (Feb 5, 2011)

binky said:


> The last time we argued, it became physical. He pushed me down and restrained me, so I could not leave. He is an alcoholic ... he has urinated on the carpet, blasted music at 3 AM on a school night and told his co-workers personal stories about us, putting me in a very negative light.
> 
> I feel like I am nothing to him and I don't know what to do.


Do you have a job yet? If so, start saving your money and get on your feet financially. You are married to an alcoholic. You think it's bad now; just wait. Alcoholism is a PROGRESSIVE disease. This may be as good as it gets.

He's gotten physical once, and he is capable of doing it again. Urinating on the carpet. Did HE clean it up? Or were you to blame for that too?

You are nothing to him, because booze is number one. You will get blamed for everything from the current economic problems to Original Sin. 

He's an addict. He's doing what addicts do.

Get yourself free from this man by getting a job, finding an apartment (even if you need to get a roommate), and please - if he threatens you, raises his hand as if to hit you, or starts yelling - CALL 911. The police keep records of domestic disturbances. It also gives you ammunition to get a restraining order.

I've lived in your shoes, and got no peace of mind until I got a restraining order, moved my belongings out of our house, THEN filed for a divorce. I wanted to make sure my ex didn't start stalking me. I carried the restraining order with me at all times. 

That was 11 years ago, and I am thankful every single day that I got out of that living hell on earth. Do yourself a favor and start planning to get out - sooner rather than later.


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