# What is the 'fog'?



## FML2011 (Sep 21, 2011)

Can someone explain the fog to me? I often see it mentioned around here but not sure what it is. Does it happened to the betrayed? The betrayer? I am just feeling kind of numb but with an underlying sadness. However when he comes to see the kids, I do get anxious, emotional, don't know how to act around him. Just feeling lost I guess.:scratchhead:


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## RadicallyAccepting (Oct 19, 2011)

It's the state of total denial that a cheating spouse is caught in. I'm watching it with my wife right now. It's amazing how it can change a person's personality, morals, and thoughts.

It's basically an addiction to the endorphins released when they see their lover. It's as bad as any junkie.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

A partial explanation of what the fog is is here


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## F-102 (Sep 15, 2010)

The fog is when the affair partner is the "good guy" who is the key to the wayward spouse's future happiness...

...and the loyal, betrayed spouse is now the "bad guy" who is standing in the way of the wayward spouse's destiny and true happiness.

Yes, wayward spouses do eventually come out of the fog, when they see the "good guy" was not so good after all, and that they were in a great place with the loyal spouse all along...

...but, all too often, they see this only after their marriages, families, friendships and lives are irreparably destroyed.


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## tigercat (Oct 6, 2011)

F-102 said:


> The fog is when the affair partner is the "good guy" who is the key to the wayward spouse's future happiness...
> 
> ...and the loyal, betrayed spouse is now the "bad guy" who is standing in the way of the wayward spouse's destiny and true happiness.
> 
> ...


This is what i'm hoping will happen to my wife. Even if its too late to save our marriage when she realizes, i think it would bring much needed closure to this relationship and make me feel justified that i wasn't as bad as she tried to make me seem. I know i'm a great guy and she did me wrong but to realize and know she screwed up and admit it would be a sweet feeling. If she never realizes, then i'm prepared to just move on and get over it.


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## marksaysay (Oct 15, 2010)

tigercat said:


> This is what i'm hoping will happen to my wife. Even if its too late to save our marriage when she realizes, i think it would bring much needed closure to this relationship and make me feel justified that i wasn't as bad as she tried to make me seem. I know i'm a great guy and she did me wrong but to realize and know she screwed up and admit it would be a sweet feeling. If she never realizes, then i'm prepared to just move on and get over it.



I totally agree. I pray I will still love her. We haven't spoke in over 4 months. If she's gonna destroy her life, I'm prepared to be absent from it forever or until she sees the light, whichever comes first.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

The fog is when the wayward gets a feeling of euphoria from the affair that everything else becomes sort of null and voil to them and they start seeing their spouse/partner as the bad guy and can only focus on the good feelings they are getting from the A. 

It's like tunnel vision.


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