# Separation and Money



## StandbyMe (Aug 5, 2011)

I have posted here over the last 50 days about our separation. My wife left after the verbal abuse from alcohol. my jealousy and lack of respect. Things have improved since then. I quit cold turkey on drinking the day she walked out. I have focused on my self to improve my life through exercise and staying busy so I don't dwell on the "heavy stuff". I quit calling her and leaving messages. I stopped the daily e-mails. She has began to communicate with me better over the last week or so. She calls and send an occasional e-mail of course nothing is brought up about our marriage. Mainly financial things and how is the family. I have not seen her in 3 weeks face to face. In the earlier weeks I requested we sit down to talk about our marriage and that was not going to happen. 
Since she has been gone I have supported her financially. I have sent her money to stay afloat and paid her rent each month. The financial thing is my dilemma at this point. Pretty much my savings is gone from keeping things going. I was trying to make her feel comfortable by paying her rent. I feel that if I stop paying the rent this will be a setback in trying to reconcile. I am unsure what to do. I could stop my 401k withholdings not something I wanted to do. Are any of you doing this or can offer advice? Right now I don't want a setback. She is looking for consistency in me and I have shown it over the past couple of weeks.
But still I have not a clue how long the separation will last.


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## WTSM (Aug 27, 2011)

I would simply let her know where you are financially. Don't know if you guys shared information about that when you were together. If she is working she needs to step up and help out. If your job offers counseling benefits, I would recommend a few visits to help you cope and sort things through. Good luck.


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