# to marry or not to marry



## bridetobe (Jun 18, 2012)

Hello,

I´m not quite sure what to do.

I´ve been together with my partner for over a year, we´ve been engaged for half a year, I´m four months pregnant and our wedding will be in 4 weeks time.

I recently had lots of fights with my partner. He has been very secretive and tried to be very controlling. 

He doesn´t want to talk about certain things and gets very easily angry. I figured out that he told me A LOT of lies, he denies that he ever lied, but some things are too obvious.

He told me that he studied at university which is not true and it wouldn´t be a problem, but I see the problem in him telling me he did when he doesn´t even have A-level.
The other big issue is money. I´m working, but soon will stop to have the baby. I´m so worried we can´t even pay the flat. My partner is very busy all day and claimed to start a business which he clearly hasn´t, yet. He hasn´t really done anything in last 6 months. Instead I found out he does illegal things to get a little bit of money. But that is not a foundation to have a family and I would highly disapprove it. Therefore he denies it and I don´t know for sure, but I´ve got lots of evidence and I´m confused. 

I´ve got the feeling I don´t know that person I´m about to marry and who is going to be the father of my child.

If it was only the lying bit, but he completely started to try to control me. He wants to know exactly what I do and asks me every half an hour. If we are together at the weekend and I want to leave to go swimming he wouldn´t allow it and if I go he starts huge fights which end in him saying he´ll leave me and baby and marry someone else. I gave up all my hobbies I had, because most of them like dancing were with body contact and he didn´t allow me to be touched by other men. I gave so much up for him and he doesn´t appreciate it. He just demands more and more and more. The first 9 months he didn´t even mind my hobbies, I could do whatever and whenever I wanted, but that changed now. I sometimes feel like a prisoner. I have to ask for permission for everything. 
He claims to be strongly catholic, but sometimes his behaviour doesn´t really seem like it.

I´m confused what to do. Our wedding is so fast approaching and everything is planned and paid for by me and my parents.

When his weird controlling behaviour started I thought he is just very stressed, because he doesn´t have a job anymore and he worries about his new business and I thought it´ll go away, but he is still not earning money and it gets worse. I don´t even know for sure if he´ll ever change again or if he just lied to me in the first 9 months to be fine with everything I do.

Please I would appreciate to find out what you think.


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## PBear (Nov 16, 2010)

No offense, but you're a fool if you marry him. Things will only get worse from here.

C
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Toffer (Jan 31, 2012)

bride,

I agree. Don't marry this man. It will only result in future problems and heart break for you


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## miss812 (Jun 17, 2012)

HUGE red flags here. All of the lying is very bad... this is the type of story you hear on 48 hours and then the wife ends up dead. Not to scare you, but you need to get far away from this guy.
It's too bad you are pregnant..... 
Have a background check done on him (secretly.) 
I know leaving right now might sound difficult because everything is paid for, but it's easier than getting a divorce!!


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## grenville (Sep 21, 2011)

Run for the hills is my advice. It isn't going to get any better.


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