# 2.5 years after the divorce-just hang on



## Corpuswife

I was an avid poster here about 3 years ago....it was my salvation and personally I think it's one of the best message boards around for those seeking support/help. 

I was married for 25 years and my husband was no longer "in love but loved me" (see the "real life" posts). After about a year, he filed for divorce. To this day, we are close. He has been a good man to our children and me. It just didn't work. 

The sadness and disbelief that I felt was overwhelming. I changed my life and attitude during this time. there was intense grieving and analyzing. I kept hoping he would change his mind but it didn't happen. I thought and told him "I am to old. Who would want me. I can't start over!" 

I read books, reaquainted myself with old girlfriends, made new friends, started a career, bought a house, and started my "new" life. 

I also rediscovered my faith. 

In short, my life is so much different and I have a new relationship. I am engaged! I will marry next year. 

Am I still sad at times? YES! Life goes on...I don't wish for a return to "old times." 

Am I frightened to marry again? YES!

I can't live my life with the what ifs. Life is too short!

In short, for those of you in similiar situations. Hang on. One step at a time. Allow yourself to cry and laugh. Allow yourself to be vunerable and still protect yourself.


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## Paradise

This is awesome! I love hearing stories like this. 

How did you meet your hubby to be? Did you two date long before the engagement?


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## WomanScorned

Thank you for the inspiration to hang on! I'm heading into the second year after divorce, and there are still days when I would give anything to go back in time. But I know that's unproductive thinking, and I have survived and thrived in many ways.


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## Amplexor

Hi Corpus, I remember you. It's just great that things have turned out so well for you. Thank you so much for posting this. For many staring down a the abyss of divorce it's nice to have some one who's gone there come back with a positive post like this. I hope you will continue to find happiness. Keep us posted.


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## Jellybeans

Congrats, Corpus.  That is great news.


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## Corpuswife

Paradise: ...after my official divorce was complete (Jan. 2010), I decided that i was going to date for fun. No plans for a relationship. No plans for marriage. 

I met him on Match. I dated a few guys (usually my max was 3 dates to figure out if we were compatible). No sex. No meeting my family. I first dated my fiance 3 months after my official divorce. We had alot of fun. He is a good man. It just took it's natural course. 

Dating is different after you've been married 25 years and haven't dated as an adult.

I guess the key to moving on, for me, has been to keep working on yourself, expressing yourself to friends/counselors/etc and allowing the process to move forward (the divorce and the relationship).

Woman Scorned: I think many of us would. We realize our mistakes. For those that don't, they are missing opportunities to grow. It does take two. You will continue to thrive and survive. It's alot like grieving a death but it's your marriage.


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## southbound

Corpuswife said:


> I was an avid poster here about 3 years ago....it was my salvation and personally I think it's one of the best message boards around for those seeking support/help.
> 
> I was married for 25 years and my husband was no longer "in love but loved me" (see the "real life" posts). After about a year, he filed for divorce. To this day, we are close. He has been a good man to our children and me. It just didn't work.
> 
> The sadness and disbelief that I felt was overwhelming. I changed my life and attitude during this time. there was intense grieving and analyzing. I kept hoping he would change his mind but it didn't happen. I thought and told him "I am to old. Who would want me. I can't start over!"
> 
> I read books, reaquainted myself with old girlfriends, made new friends, started a career, bought a house, and started my "new" life.
> 
> I also rediscovered my faith.
> 
> In short, my life is so much different and I have a new relationship. I am engaged! I will marry next year.
> 
> Am I still sad at times? YES! Life goes on...I don't wish for a return to "old times."
> 
> Am I frightened to marry again? YES!
> 
> I can't live my life with the what ifs. Life is too short!
> 
> In short, for those of you in similiar situations. Hang on. One step at a time. Allow yourself to cry and laugh. Allow yourself to be vunerable and still protect yourself.


I was married 18 years when my x wife asked for a divorce. I'm curious, if you are still close, why couldn't it have worked. It seems like 25 years is a long time to devote to someone.

I'm just curious about your situation so that it might help me with my closure. The fact that it was 18 years was the most difficult thing for me to understand. If it had been 5 years or so, maybe, but to devote 18 years of your life to someone and have children together and then for her to decide she wasn't happy with me was rather mind boggling.


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## WomanScorned

I was married for 18 years, too, and have children. It is mind boggling, but we can't change them and what they want. Don't try to understand it because I don't think we can. All we can do is move forward. It gets easier as time passes, thank heavens.


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## Corpuswife

Southbound...woman scorned is correct! It is mind boggling as to the "why's." I have some answers but never will have the full truth/answers. I am not sure it would matter as the results would be the same.

I tried everything and that left me with my no-regret type feeling. I was able to say that I begged; pleaded; cried; counseling; etc. Doesn't work when they disconnect. 

One evening, after a phone call to a dear Christian friend. She said "let him go." I prayed for peace instead of praying for his return. God immediately granted me this and I moved forward with dignity.

We got along the whole way as we aren't fighters but we were sad. He couldn't do it anymore. Yes, we had time invested but he couldn't stay.


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## southbound

Corpuswife said:


> Southbound...woman scorned is correct! It is mind boggling as to the "why's." I have some answers but never will have the full truth/answers. I am not sure it would matter as the results would be the same.
> 
> I tried everything and that left me with my no-regret type feeling. I was able to say that I begged; pleaded; cried; counseling; etc. Doesn't work when they disconnect.
> 
> One evening, after a phone call to a dear Christian friend. She said "let him go." I prayed for peace instead of praying for his return. God immediately granted me this and I moved forward with dignity.
> 
> We got along the whole way as we aren't fighters but we were sad. He couldn't do it anymore. Yes, we had time invested but he couldn't stay.


I too tried everything I knew. I told her I would do "anything" to make it work, and I believe she knew that i meant it from the heart, so, I guess i have no regrets there. I often wonder what could have been going through her mind. Why wouldn't an 18 year marriage and kids be worth working on? If she never loved me to start with, then shame on her for staying 18 years. If she did love me in the beginning, which i truly believe she did, why would that not be worth trying to rekindle? It just doesn't make sense to me.


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## Corpuswife

Southbound...I know. 

The deal is that before your spouse told you, she had already disconnected in her mind. You probably didn't have a chance.

Did she move on fairly quick...to another person?

I spent 2 years analyzing and kept coming up with the same conclusions. I didn't know why he didn't want to invest in our relationship any more. We both made mistakes. At one point, I asked him "I don't get it. You don't want to fix this relationship or deal with your issues but you want to go into another relationship eventually. Perhaps get married and not work on that one either when things go south. He said, if it happens it happens." 

He remarried a few months ago. I pray that it works out in the long run for him and her. Like I said I hold no grudges.


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## southbound

Corpuswife said:


> Southbound...I know.
> 
> The deal is that before your spouse told you, she had already disconnected in her mind. You probably didn't have a chance.
> 
> Did she move on fairly quick...to another person?
> 
> I spent 2 years analyzing and kept coming up with the same conclusions. I didn't know why he didn't want to invest in our relationship any more. We both made mistakes. At one point, I asked him "I don't get it. You don't want to fix this relationship or deal with your issues but you want to go into another relationship eventually. Perhaps get married and not work on that one either when things go south. He said, if it happens it happens."
> 
> He remarried a few months ago. I pray that it works out in the long run for him and her. Like I said I hold no grudges.


That was confusing to me too. If someone decided they were finished with the whole relationship thing and just wanted to be single the rest of their life, it might make more sense. But why walk away from 18 years of marriage, financial stability, and turn two kids lives upside down just to go to another relationship. Why so much confidence in a new relationship? Sure, most every relationship is good in the beginning when everything is fresh.

Yes, she was with a guy a week after our divorce was final. They dated a for a few months and then he got another woman pregnant and is now married to her. My x hasn't dated since. Another odd part to me is that my x hasn't changed much. She's just living the same old life that we lived. I thought I was boring to her, so why is she not out having a ball now that I'm gone?


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## Corpuswife

Southbound: I guess as humans many of us have the "grass is greener" syndrome! It seems that your wife had a wake up call with the rebound (if that) boyfriend. 

I know that our marriage wasn't a horrible, drama filled relationship. We had life up/downs (normal stuff). 

However, the one thing that I noticed with my ex. He didn't have very good coping skills. He ended up going to counseling toward the end of the relationship but really it wasn't about working on himself, it was for help ending our relationship. He never worked on himself. My point being....with the new wife, issues have and will come up. If he copes with these issues as he did in ours....I have a feeling that she won't have the tolerance that I did in our relationship. 

Oh well. Water on the bridge.....just work on being the best you and concentrate on that!


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## Shoeguy

I really enjoyed reading this thread, not sure why/how I missed it originally.

Corpus, congrats and hopefully welcome back. I wasn't here when you originally posted but i'm here today. It seems like you have reached the end of the tunnel that so many of us question when it will end for us. Please keep in touch becasue it is refreshing to hear such good stories.

My story is not unlike southbound, as well as many others, the wife checked out of a 18 yr marriage and still continues the same life like nothing happened. She unplugged me for a freind that we both have known for 10 years or so. Ugh so much for her wanting something different in life.

Anyway, hearing that things work out in the end is alwasy uplifting and thanks for coming back and sharing.

shoeguy


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## Jellybeans

Corpuswife said:


> My point being....with the new wife, issues have and will come up. If he copes with these issues as he did in ours....I have a feeling that she won't have the tolerance that I did in our relationship.


This is how I feel about my exH wen he embarks on a new relationship.


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## southbound

Corpuswife said:


> Southbound: I guess as humans many of us have the "grass is greener" syndrome! It seems that your wife had a wake up call with the rebound (if that) boyfriend.
> 
> I know that our marriage wasn't a horrible, drama filled relationship. We had life up/downs (normal stuff).
> 
> However, the one thing that I noticed with my ex. He didn't have very good coping skills. He ended up going to counseling toward the end of the relationship but really it wasn't about working on himself, it was for help ending our relationship. He never worked on himself. My point being....with the new wife, issues have and will come up. If he copes with these issues as he did in ours....I have a feeling that she won't have the tolerance that I did in our relationship.
> 
> Oh well. Water on the bridge.....just work on being the best you and concentrate on that!


Our marriage was rather calm too, we just had the normal ups and downs i suppose. One difference is that my x wife had somewhat of an unhappy childhood, or should i say, confusing childhood. She wasn't physically abused or anything, but her mother just never had anything good to say about her, always putting her down for the least little thing. She had low self esteem and i believe was counting on me to "make" her happy.

On the other hand, I feel i am in charge of my own happiness from within. I once thought that just sounded like a bunch of psychological bull, but I truly believe it. I didn't marry my wife to "make" me happy; i was already happy. I think when one depends on someone else for their happiness, they will always be let down sooner or later.


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## Shoeguy

i agree that you should be able to make yourself happy and not depend on others to find happiness. I'm trying to be able to do that but would like to be more successful.

I beleive "happiness" may have been redefined over time. Maybe not redifined as much as "who" you make happy has changed. In my parents generation what made the kids, spouse, family, etc happy seemed to have a greater priority than it does now. It has switched more to the what makes "me" happy first and then everyone else second.

I also think there are people that find happiness by making others happy. I see those poeple as the ones that beleive it is not worth giving up what they have to see if the grass is greener. They also have a tough time understanding why someone would jump the fence to test the grass.

I guess I can't wait until I find a way to make myself happy when for many many years I was dedicated to making someone else happy that is no longer there.

Didn't mean to go sour grapes right there.

Shoeguy


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## Corpuswife

madaboutlove: It sounds like you are on track...moving on with some pain that keep popping in! I see this as very normal. 

After all of these years...I feel like I know him better than anyone. Oops! I do. His new wife will never know him like I do. This is not being ****y. I am the only person that he will have gone through his teens; young adult hood; birth of children; raising teens; being dirt poor to being well off; etc. I am a luck girl to have met him. He did alot for me and my family. I did alot for him. We are forever bonded. Just writing this brings a tear to my eyes. I can't help but wish him well. He's an old friend.

I have such a wonderful fiance. He is very different then my ex but still have very strong morales and is a good character. I hope this new relationship develops the strong bonds that I have formed with my ex. 

It all takes time.


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## Corpuswife

madaboutlove said:


> Thanks Corpus, that is it exactly. I will never live to have a 30 year long relationship with anyone else. We did all those developmental things together, hard to imagine him with anyone else. Weird, that is harder than imagining me with someone else


I guess we are trying to say. We never, at this point in our lives, expected to be where we are at!


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## southbound

Corpuswife said:


> madaboutlove: It sounds like you are on track...moving on with some pain that keep popping in! I see this as very normal.
> 
> After all of these years...I feel like I know him better than anyone. Oops! I do. His new wife will never know him like I do. This is not being ****y. I am the only person that he will have gone through his teens; young adult hood; birth of children; raising teens; being dirt poor to being well off; etc. I am a luck girl to have met him. He did alot for me and my family. I did alot for him. We are forever bonded. Just writing this brings a tear to my eyes. I can't help but wish him well. He's an old friend.
> 
> I have such a wonderful fiance. He is very different then my ex but still have very strong morales and is a good character. I hope this new relationship develops the strong bonds that I have formed with my ex.
> 
> It all takes time.


Very good points! Once the initial shock of the divorce wore off, my thoughts started going in places besides shock and anger. I now agree with what you said. My wife just became unhappy, there wasn't any infidelity or abuse on my part. I wonder now if she thinks of things like you just mentioned.

I married to have a wife, but I knew a lot of other things came with it. We had children together, built a new house together, and had a lot of little moments that are too many to mention. Now, there is no chance of a 25th or 50th anniversary. We won't know what it's like to experience our kids milestones as a true team, we won't know what it's like to retire together, and the list goes on. It just seems to me like anyone new in my life now would be for a different reason and just a replacement or substitute for the real thing. 

At my age, I'm sure we would "grow" as a couple, but it would still be different. We wouldn't get to say, "Hey, remember when we were 20 and............" At my age, I'm sure women expect a complete package already intact. There wouldn't be any "marrying poor" and looking forward to the day when we could build our dream house. It's just all so weird.


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## southbound

madaboutlove said:


> and let's keep hopeful in mind, just because we were expecting the other things doesn't mean there isn't something great waiting for us. I am still going to have another great house, that I make a home. I am going to have other anniversaries and share important kid events with them and my Ex, in some way. My kids are 23 and 25, maybe I will get to be in some other young people's lives if my next partner has kids, just more to love. Either way, can't change it. Looking for the good in every day, try to let the bad remind me about why I wanted to stay married, the best parts of that relationship is why we are sad. And if it gets too much, I take a long bike ride or hop in my car and head to the ocean, give it all up to something bigger than me. And then I come here, thanks to all of you


That's all true, and you are doing well with your positive attitude, but it still doesn't erase the other things. It's sad that the kids don't have a choice. It hasn't happened yet, but my kids don't need another man around the house where dad used to be; that's just weird. It's all for mom's benefit, not theirs. It can all be good "under the circumstances," but not natural to me.

I know families where he has kids, she has kids, they have kids together, and they both have x's. I know i haven't described anything unusual there, and I'm not putting anyone down in that situation, but the thoughts of it are still too unnatural for me to want to participate just yet.


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## Corpuswife

We need to make sure that we take our time and don't jump to quick. Everyone is different in how fast they move (moving; career; relationships). Trust yourself and proceed with caution and thought (feelings can overwhelm sometime and have you react to quick).

The memories will never be erased. I will continue to slip and call my fiance my ex's name-oops! He understands. It's a habit of 30 years! Geez. I don't do it often. 

Our lives will be different. I won't have children with my new man. We are set in our careers. What do I have to look forward? Travel; no rearing kids from the ground up-kid stress. OK...I still have that with my young adults! But the ability to travel and communicate with a person that I enjoy and listens to me. Also, we all have EXPERIENCE and WISDOM! I know what doesn't work. I am more patient with age and I have more confidence! 

What do you have to look forward to????


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## southbound

Corpuswife said:


> We need to make sure that we take our time and don't jump to quick. Everyone is different in how fast they move (moving; career; relationships). Trust yourself and proceed with caution and thought (feelings can overwhelm sometime and have you react to quick).
> 
> The memories will never be erased. I will continue to slip and call my fiance my ex's name-oops! He understands. It's a habit of 30 years! Geez. I don't do it often.
> 
> Our lives will be different. I won't have children with my new man. We are set in our careers. What do I have to look forward? Travel; no rearing kids from the ground up-kid stress. OK...I still have that with my young adults! But the ability to travel and communicate with a person that I enjoy and listens to me. Also, we all have EXPERIENCE and WISDOM! I know what doesn't work. I am more patient with age and I have more confidence!
> 
> What do you have to look forward to????


What do I have to look forward to? I guess I'm trying to figure out my x's mind and wonder what she has to look forward to since she asked for the divorce? Why did she want to cause all the weirdness? Was she looking forward to a family of hers, his, and ours someday? 

As human beings go, I'm not a bad guy. I think she gave up a lot of positives with me that she didn't consider. I think she will want those positives with another guy, and in addition, he will have to be better than my rough edges were. 

I'm sure one could wonder if perhaps I look like a movie monster and perhaps that was part of the problem. Well, I don't think that's it either. She always seemed very happy with my looks and told me often. I recall a woman from where she works telling me once that a nice looking guy was hitting on my x wife once. He finally asked why she wasn't giving him any attention and she said, "Because I'm happily married, besides, have you seen my husband and have you seen yourself?" Ouch!! 

I'm just saying that I'm not a terrible guy, she could have done much worse, and she acted like she really loved me for so long. So, why not try to work on what we had instead of thinking the grass would be so much greener somewhere else? What does she have to look forward to?


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## madaboutlove

I am looking forward to completing my PhD. I am looking forward to my son's growing in their careers, getting married, giving me grandbabies. I look forward to someone holding me, making me a cup of tea when I am busy and sharing all the important dates in my life. I am looking forward to letting go of my grief.


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## docj

My wife walked out after a few years. I tried everything like Corpus. Xounselling,.ministry, watching Fire Proof, prayer i did it all.
Its been two years and looking back im.glad she left. Secret,is date again quixkly. Go out on.dates. Dobt sit around mopping.
Incidentally Corpus im in.Corpus too lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shoeguy

> What do I have to look forward to? I guess I'm trying to figure out my x's mind and wonder what she has to look forward to since she asked for the divorce? Why did she want to cause all the weirdness? Was she looking forward to a family of hers, his, and ours someday?


Southbound, this is exactly how I feel and think. I hate it because we will probably never know what our ex's are/were thinking. I'm finding it more and more less productive as well. Maybe that is what moving on really is. Maybe part of moving on is accepting that the past is the past and although you can learn from it the only way to get better is to stop pondering it.

I've enjoyed this thread because others have been able to put into words what I think about. There are a lots of things that I used to consider a dream that will not happen now due to the divorce. Sept 5th would have been my 20th anniversary. We had an awesome 15th and WTH happened in less that 5 years. Got me. Doesn't really matter anymore I guess.

I need to look at life differently now and that is the tough adjusting part. I'm getting better but have lots of room for improvements.

Take care,

Shoeguy


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## Corpuswife

Southbound: I really didn't get "what you were looking forward to" but just trying to figure your ex out! What kind of future do you want for yourself?

madaboutlove: Awesome! We will move forward won't we?

docj: Hello fellow "Corpus Christian!" Glad you are moving in the dating world and hopefully enjoying it. It's a strange one after all these years!

It's weird also, Shoeguy, I thought I had it down at the 20 year mark. We had a wonderful vacay and he presented me with an anniversary ring. Then....5 years later we were done? His sister in law, told me a few years prior to the divorce. "I figure if a relationship last to 20 years...you got it covered for the rest." I agreed!!! Boy, was I wrong!

I learned that you can never take a relationship for granted. It needs to be nurtured and clear, respectful communication helps to keep resentment at bay.


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## southbound

Shoeguy said:


> Southbound, this is exactly how I feel and think. I hate it because we will probably never know what our ex's are/were thinking. I'm finding it more and more less productive as well. Maybe that is what moving on really is. Maybe part of moving on is accepting that the past is the past and although you can learn from it the only way to get better is to stop pondering it.
> 
> I've enjoyed this thread because others have been able to put into words what I think about. There are a lots of things that I used to consider a dream that will not happen now due to the divorce. Sept 5th would have been my 20th anniversary. We had an awesome 15th and WTH happened in less that 5 years. Got me. Doesn't really matter anymore I guess.
> 
> I need to look at life differently now and that is the tough adjusting part. I'm getting better but have lots of room for improvements.
> 
> Take care,
> 
> Shoeguy


I've really enjoyed this thread and forum as well. It helps to realize that others have the same puzzle. I would have had my 20th anniversary this year as well. Sometimes people sarcastically ask me, "So, I wonder what your x is doing now that's making her soooooo happy?" I don't have a clue. 

I certainly want to "learn" from this experience. I guess that's why it's so frustrating that i can't get all this to make sense. Why shouldn't it make sense? When someone wants to take a huge step like divorce, one would think the reason would be crystal clear instead of something that just makes us scratch our heads.



Corpuswife said:


> Southbound: I really didn't get "what you were looking forward to" but just trying to figure your ex out! What kind of future do you want for yourself?
> 
> madaboutlove: Awesome! We will move forward won't we?
> 
> docj: Hello fellow "Corpus Christian!" Glad you are moving in the dating world and hopefully enjoying it. It's a strange one after all these years!
> 
> It's weird also, Shoeguy, I thought I had it down at the 20 year mark. We had a wonderful vacay and he presented me with an anniversary ring. Then....5 years later we were done? His sister in law, told me a few years prior to the divorce. "I figure if a relationship last to 20 years...you got it covered for the rest." I agreed!!! Boy, was I wrong!
> 
> I learned that you can never take a relationship for granted. It needs to be nurtured and clear, respectful communication helps to keep resentment at bay.


What do i have to look forward to? I've never been a specific goal planner; I've always enjoyed the simple life. I just do things that are positive, like getting a college education, and just let life happen. I went to college to have a better career and future, but I can't say that I had it mapped out step by step, for example.

So, from here, I'm doing fine and enjoying the single, relationship-free life. I can retire at age 54, so I'm looking forward to that. otherwise, I just enjoy each day as it comes.

I agree with the sister-in-law. I think a few years under the belt makes one feel like things should be ok from there, especially if the years are good ones.


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## Deejo

Hi Corpuswife,

always nice to have you drop in.

Even better when it's an encouraging and heartwarming contribution for folks that can struggle seeing a 'happy ending' after the death of a marriage.

Thanks so much.


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## Corpuswife

HI Deejo! You've been around awhile as well. I have learned so much over time and I felt it wasn't "fair" to bail when things were looking up!!

However, tonight, on the way home was a sad drive thinking "I miss my family." I guess I was tired.


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## Deejo

madaboutlove said:


> I was thinking about this thread tonight when my son and I were checking in with each other about how we were doing. He told me that his Dad just needed to leave. He got to a place in his life where he was rethinking, a "midlife" crisis I guess and that I shouldn't try to understand, take responsibility for it or dwell on the negative for myself. He told me I should move forward with my life, try to take care of what I need to take care of and let the rest take care of itself. He also told me there was nothing wrong with being hopeful. I might find someone who is an even better partner than his Dad!


Always amazing how they can be inspiring and insightful one moment, and then you want to choke them a little bit the next ...

I've stated before, if handled with a bit of dignity, it can all work out.

My ex is still trying to make a go of it with her boyfriend, who was also her affair partner. He loves the kids, and they love him. Don't feel threatened at all by that relationship. In many ways I'm thankful for it. And sadly, if their relationship doesn't make it ... I know that it won't be because of him. He loves her and the kids. 

At this point, I would like there to be stability for everyone.

So happy to hear that you have found it Corpus. And yeah ... I still have plenty of those memorable or wishful moments as well. I accept that I don't think those will ever go away. Not a bad thing. Hopefully a reminder of what we do not want to repeat in the future.

And yes, I'm still here ... like a bad penny.


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## Corpuswife

Deejo that's a good point of these wishful moments never going away and it NOT being a bad thing. You are right...so right. 

My ex remarried. You are right. It's much better when the other person that is with your spouse gets along with your kids. It comforts me. It could be a lot worse!


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## Shooboomafoo

Though there is no way I would have any effect by thinking so, I dont want my daughter to become close with a man who finds nothing wrong with dating a married woman. That spells a level of dooshbaggery right there that would be a negative influence on my D. I sure cant do anything about it though. 
I had a friend on FB that dumped her family and remarried very quickly. Next thing you know theres pictures of her kids sitting on his lap all happy and smiling... freaking ripped my heart out of my chest. 
Powerless. Wish them well? I guess I do, I just havent gotten to the point personally to be okay with it.


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## Paradise

Shooboomafoo said:


> I had a friend on FB that dumped her family and remarried very quickly. Next thing you know theres pictures of her kids sitting on his lap all happy and smiling... freaking ripped my heart out of my chest.
> Powerless. Wish them well? I guess I do, I just havent gotten to the point personally to be okay with it.


Didn't know you were friends with my ex on FB, Shoo....


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## Shooboomafoo

Paradise said:


> Didn't know you were friends with my ex on FB, Shoo....


Maaaannnn,,, if thats your EX, dude I am SOOOOOOO sorry...

To imagine my own daughter there in the OM's lap smiling and happy and all that..it tore my freaking heart out. knowing that it could eventually be a possibility.


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## Paradise

Yes, this did indeed happen in my story. 2 families destroyed and the cheating spouses married and now have a happy "family." Sorry, your post kind of triggered me for a second. 

By the way, I blocked her on FB right after the divorce because I didn't ever want to see pics like the one you described. I know she puts her entire life on FB so I stay the hell away from that site. Gotta put on the show of how great their lives are now that they are together.


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## Corpuswife

I think you are right....it depends on how and why they left! The affair thing and having the other person holding your children. Ugh!

My kids are older and make their own relationship decisions...to like her or not. So far they seem to like her.


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## Mamatomany

Corpuswife, 
Thanks for the inspirational story. I was with my stbx for 27 yrs and counting the days down (should be this month) for the state to say we are divorced. 
It was scary at first but I am liking the new me and the empowerment I am feeling as I conquer new things and meet more people.


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## Corpuswife

Mamtomany: It will get better....it's both scary, sad, and frankly can feel like a rollercoaster! Keep in touch!


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