# Is It Over?



## Rivi

Is it over? thats the big question im asking myself. I just dont know if i can take another round of this.

Background. 

her and i have been together since high school, over 15 years, married for almost 3 engaged for 3 before that or so, i'm being vague for the sake of anonymity. 

I joined the military after high school, my only indiscretion was when i first got to base after all the training was done, alcohol and peer pressure, availability and lack of common sense. I took oral pleasure from someone. Resulting issue was the requirement of minor medication and that was it, clean and clear. 

Over the course of a number of years I had come to talk with someone, and looking back on it now they took to me more than i took to them. This caused issues when she decided to send me pictures and messages after i got together with my now-wife.

We coped, overcame so i thought, went to counseling for couples. 

So now to today... The wife became aware of some porn, no biggie, except for the last while i've been enjoying scenes and pictures of amature / pictures i can relate to, these happen to be of people with similar traits to me. Small belly, little hairy, reasonably average otherwise.


My issue is this, I love her, I love my kids, I love my house, my home, my life. 

I abhor the almost regular sliding of mood and mentality. We have days, weeks and even months without a fight or issue then weeks and days of accusation and misery. I dont know how to adequately describe it. 

Describing her, intellegent, caring, a good mother... she doesnt listen to me, and while i dont want an overly obedient wife, i would at the least like her to for of all things, listen when i tell her something and take it as the advice she asked for.


I dont know im just at a loss.


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## Yeswecan

I'm at a bit of a loss as well. You received oral, apparently had an EA with someone and look at porn that you can relate too. What exactly do you want your W to do?


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## ReidWright

Rivi said:


> these happen to be of people with* similar traits* to me. Small belly, little hairy, reasonably average otherwise.


so, wait, are you inferring that she thinks it is you in the amateur videos? 

or why was that an important part to mention?


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## Rivi

Sorry didnt have the mental capacity earlier to literate properly.

The porn, she thinks is me in it... half of me says 'i wish' the other half wants to tell her to not be stupid... I enjoy it since i can relate, i'm not the most fit guy in the world, i find my wife attractive and the sex when we have it is good. 

my wife is a larger woman always had self esteem issues and i've always praised and worshiped her. Porn is porn is it not?

I dont know what i want her to do thats the issue, I have made my mistake and i've been working on fixing it since. I blame her mother for her trust issues, *as she... i will be polite and say clinically unbalanced and in need of both medication and therapy* the problem is that bleeds out over time and she spent 3 months+ with her while i was overseas...

What i want is her to make the choice to leave or trust, before I make the choice. 

I love her so much but i wont deal with what her step-father deals with. Hell im even thinking if a polygraph would put and end to this.


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## Yeswecan

Rivi said:


> Sorry didnt have the mental capacity earlier to literate properly. *Glad you found the capacity. *
> 
> The porn, she thinks is me in it... half of me says 'i wish' the other half wants to tell her to not be stupid... I enjoy it since i can relate, i'm not the most fit guy in the world, i find my wife attractive and the sex when we have it is good. *Well, tell her the truth. Do not call her stupid. Glad you enjoy the porn. It appears to be hurtful to your W. Just another nail in the marriage already riddled with nails you drive in. *
> 
> my wife is a larger woman always had self esteem issues and i've always praised and worshiped her. Porn is porn is it not? *WTF does that have to do with porn? It's disrespectful to your W. So, if you are not so fit etc. is it ok for her to go watch Long Dong Silver because...well...porn is porn? State is simply..you do not find your W very attractive. Porn is better. *
> 
> I dont know what i want her to do thats the issue, I have made my mistake and i've been working on fixing it since. I blame her mother for her trust issues, *as she... i will be polite and say clinically unbalanced and in need of both medication and therapy* the problem is that bleeds out over time and she spent 3 months+ with her while i was overseas... *Check yourself...got oral, watch porn and you want to know how to change her? Your a real treat. :scratchhead:*
> 
> What i want is her to make the choice to leave or trust, before I make the choice. *Your actions will make her trust you. Your past oral safari, porn and I'm certain more not yet divulged has made her distrustful. What are you doing other than watching porn is helping her? *
> 
> I love her so much but i wont deal with what her step-father deals with. Hell im even thinking if a polygraph would put and end to this.* Again, at a loss...polygraph your W for what?*


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