# The Porn Thread



## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

Hey folks!

I have been reading around the forums at past posts and current ones and have found many women to be disgusted and betrayed upon the discovery of porn in their husband's possession.

What I want to know is, why do you think this is in some way infidelity? 

As a woman myself, I did start out this way in my early married years. I was only 20 and thought my husbands hiding his porn was dispicable. Something I have learned over the years is that a man is visually stimulated and needs to be stimulated often...way more often than we have time to do this for them. It's also human nature to desire a variety of sexual partners. We have evolved socially and gone past this however in the form of marriage. HOWEVER, that primal need is still there. 

In all honesty I think that porn is the much healthier, safer choice than straying. I value its presence in our marriage because it opens us up sexually to new adventures. I also allow my husband to have his secret stash because everyone likes something all to themselves.

I guess my purpose for this thread is to get a response from both sexes and help put women who are ready to throw away their relationships over porn at ease. It's heartbreaking to me to see women genuinely hurt over this.


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## MSC71 (Aug 1, 2012)

the biggest problem is how it makes men view and treat women. Like objects and not people. Also he is giving himself to something / someone other than you. You husband may be an exception, but that is rare.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

You're leaving out those women, such as myself, who were effectively replaced by the porn. Unacceptable.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> You're leaving out those women, such as myself, who were effectively replaced by the porn. Unacceptable.


Thank you for this. YOu are very correct, I did leave that out. It is never acceptable. I am sorry you had to endure that.


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## Dr. Rockstar (Mar 23, 2011)

As a guy, I think women find it a rejection of themselves for an unachievable ideal.

Ironically, I think most men who view porn by themselves are doing so in part because they believe that their wives won't forgive them. They're caught in a self-loathing cycle: They find themselves withdrawing from their wives, turning to porn to fulfill their unfulfilled fantasies, feeling ashamed about it. That shame makes it harder to relate to his wife, he withdraws even more, then turns to porn more.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Personally, I think that the healthiest relationships that have porn as a factor are those where the couple watch together. Or at least where the men are upfront about their pastime, so their wives at least know about it and don't stumble across it by accident.

And for what it's worth, I've always been surprised at how many women on this forum either participate in the watching of porn, watch it themselves or approve of their husbands watching it alone.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

Dr. Rockstar said:


> As a guy, I think women find it a rejection of themselves for an unachievable ideal.
> 
> Ironically, I think most men who view porn by themselves are doing so because they believe that their wives won't forgive them. They're caught in a self-loathing cycle: They find themselves withdrawing from their wives, turning to porn to fulfill their unfulfilled fantasies, feeling ashamed about it. That shame makes it harder to relate to his wife, he withdraws even more, then turns to porn more.
> 
> ...


I watch it by myself, he watches it by himself. We meet up at some point overly horny. Just last night he introduced his world to my world and we watched some together. Since there is so much variety of porn out there we found a couple of things that brings his fetish to mine. 
Like, my husband can have the best sex with me and then two hours later will watch his porn and do his thing and go to bed. The way I see it, it keeps him healthy and high for me. Tonight he is going to watch his favorite one while I do things for him. Although I don't know now because we are kinda mad at each other. Hopefully it will dissipate.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

This porn story is a complex one.
The more I read the threads , the more complicated it gets.

I had a particular view,but i must admit,having read some women's view have swayed me a bit.

So what is my take?

I will want to tread cautiously , just like the OP.
It is a double edged sword.
Sometimes its usage in a relationship can cause serious damage to the woman's self esteem.
Other times it could fit in perfectly in a relationship.
The key I think is in the user.

It can become very addictive and destroy intimacy if the man becomes addicted, or if the woman is jealous and insecure.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> This porn story is a complex one.
> The more I read the threads , the more complicated it gets.
> 
> I had a particular view,but i must admit,having read some women's view have swayed me a bit.
> ...


what if the woman watches it excessively? Do you think this has the same effect on the man's self esteem? Do you think it's a two way street?


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

As a man who is married to a woman much less interested in sex than myself, porn is part of my 'survival' mode. She has no interest in viewing any of it (even the lame soft stuff on Cinemax or Real Sex) but has no issues with me doing my business. It gets me to leave her alone and not annoy her for a handjob, so she's fine with me using it. 

It's pure fantasy; just because I'm watching some guy have two girls doesn't mean that I'm cheating on my wife or expect to get that at home (maybe in my dreams). 

As far as replacing my wife with porn, that's plain stupid. The real thing - especially with someone you love and are totally turned on by - cannot be replaced by laptop and Fleshlight alone.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

40isthenew20 said:


> As far as replacing my wife with porn, that's plain stupid. The real thing - especially with someone you love and are totally turned on by - cannot be replaced by laptop and Fleshlight alone.


Unfortunately, that's not true for some. Excessive porn/masturbation can cause ED. Porn often equals the lazy (or selfish) man's sex.


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## CandieGirl (Apr 27, 2011)

Just wanted to add that things are somewhat better now, but I really would have preferred to have not gone through all the crap my husband put us through because of his porn habit. Unfortunately, I harbour resentment over it. Something I never asked for.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

THe visual stimulation should come from the partner.
You are viewing naked men and women in a SEXUAL way.

The sex is meant for the person you are with, with the stimulation itself deriving from the love and passion you have for him/her.
As it is a natural response to notcie beauty, thats where it should be left if in a relationship.

If turning to porn is to cure an itch you are having that your partner isnt fulfuilling than why use it? Sex is vital and healthy and should be present continuoulsy in the relationship. If its missing due to lack of other things in the relationship, it can be fixed.
If it is due to drive differences, it can be compromised.
If it is due to simply wanting something other than your partner than you shouldnt be with them.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I watch porn. Sometimes a lot when my wife isn't interested in sex and I take care of things myself. It doesn't change the fact that I want sex with my wife, nor do I want her to be anything other than she is now... a slightly overweight, short, average woman who can, if she was interested, sexually fulfill me.

I watch a lot of action movies. It doesn't make me wish I was an action hero. I watch a lot of war movies. It doesn't make me want to be a soldier. But if watching too many action or war movies interfered in my relationship with my wife, then those movies would be a problem.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> THe visual stimulation should come from the partner.
> You are viewing naked men and women in a SEXUAL way.
> 
> The sex is meant for the person you are with, with the stimulation itself deriving from the love and passion you have for him/her.
> ...


This strikes me as close minded and final. Sometimes your partner simply isn't available emotionally or physically to meet your needs. You still love the person but deep down you have a primal need. Porn is a good outlet for it. It can be a way to work on your relationship when its feeling dull as well. It can be THE fix if you let it. What I'm saying is that zipping up and declaring "NO PORN UNDER PENALTY OF DIVORCE" on your partner can be very selfish.
That being said, when your partner is replacing you with the porn THEN something is wrong.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

I wouldnt say closeminded.
To each there own.
Its a different arguement for everyone.
That is how i feel about it.

What is the primal need?

thats what i was saying by the things missing in the relationship like communication, understanding, appreciation.
If those among other thigns are lacking than of course the partner isnt going to fulfill what you also arent fulfilling.

How can you not be available emotionally if the communication is there?

(things that are lacking can be fixed so there is no want for soemthing that isnt part of the relationship-like EA's or PA's)


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

What I meant by emotionally available was sometimes one partner will have too much stress in their lives from things the other partner cannot control (work, school etc) and it will result in the partner not being sexually available. I would think that rather force themselves or guilt the unavailable partner (or worse, cheat) that porn could be a good outlet.


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## bkaydezz (Jul 9, 2012)

ehhhhhhh.

thats were im confused though..

they cant be emotionally available to you so then they cant be physical with you....
But yet they give what they can easily give to you to something else?????


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

hotdogs said:


> what if the woman watches it excessively? Do you think this has the same effect on the man's self esteem? Do you think it's a two way street?


Hotdogs,
To be honest I have never met a woman who was really addicted to porn like a man would be.

With women ,porn usage is different in a way I can't explain.
I've been with women who like certain types of porn,but it somehow, it never really affects other areas of their lives.
For eg; I know some women masturbate a lot [ sometimes to porn] and they would still crave sexual intimacy with a man.

The converse however, is not true. Because of how males are made up , too frequent masturbation [ especially to porn ]tends to take the place of sexual intimacy

Traditionally,porn was geared towards men.
Over the last decade a few females have gotten into the production aspect and now produce the flicks that ladies like so much.
But I don't think its a two way street, because of what I mentioned before.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> ehhhhhhh.
> 
> thats were im confused though..
> 
> ...


No it wouldnt be the emotionally unavailable person using the porn, it would be the partner of him or her.


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## waiwera (Sep 8, 2009)

I don't like porn and H isn't getting anywhere near me if I know he's been watching... it's a HUGE turnoff to me.

Even though i don't see it the same as physical infidelity I do understand a dislike of your man getting his sexual needs met by another woman.... either by a woman on a screen or real life (more so if the wife is wanting more loving and sex).

When we were younger and I was having infertility treatments and then babies my sex drive was all over the place and H indulged in porn then more than at any other time in our relationship. I sure as heck handled him looking at porn better than i would have handled an affair.

I would never ask/tell him to not look anymore...it never effects our relationship. He's never chosen it over me and the more loving I give him the less he wants to look.

I figure it's like drinking or gambling...most folk can indulge from time to time and it's not an issue.... for some it's a drug that they get 'addicited' too.
For those people porn is a major problem...for them and those who try to love them.

Porn _*can*_ be very harmful...but it's not the rule. IMO


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

what i hear a lot of guys say, not just this thread but others as well, is we have no self control? lol


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## SimplyAmorous (Nov 25, 2009)

MSC71 said:


> the biggest problem is how it makes men view and treat women. Like objects and not people. Also he is giving himself to something / someone other than you. You husband may be an exception, but that is rare.


My husband IS an exception and one of the rare ones... .. he always saved himself for ME in our marraige... He did yank it before that, before we met -as he put it , as soon as I started putting my hands down his pants, he stopped, felt that was my job. Gotta love that. But he still LOVED to look, that variety...that allure was always there and it still is today.... I am fine with it. 

He wouldn't even know how to look at me as an object, the man doesn't even like the word sex, it is ALL "making love" to him, I have even gotten  wanting him to be more aggressive, so porn hasn't hurt him at all, I've wanted him to watch worse stuff to make him more aggressive ! 

His flavor has always been very tame though ... just solo women- playboy type stuff, some call it ART. 

Also he loves strippers, dancing, teasing. He has no interest in seeing the man at all. But I do. 

I used to be conservatively minded, scolding him when I found this stuff on the computer, I cried once, made him feel like crap, posted scriptures to the screen...meanwhile I was rather prudish....and still the whole time during that....he waited for me. 

I couldn't ask for a better man, not all become addicted and use it over their wives. I know this is rare though...so I'll shut up now. 

As for us.... we both enjoy a little porn together these days ... we are very open with it, there is no secret stashes and no matter what we view... we wait for each other. I can easily live with this. If more wives were UP for all the sex their husbands wanted ..this would make a huge difference- at least in those marraiges where the porn is filling in the LD gaps. 

I realize that is not always the situation though, and in some cases, these women have a right to raise the roof off the house -when it is used over them.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

If men who enjoy porn while maintaining a realistic view of it and not sacrificing real relationships for it are supposed to be an exception, then, if I do say so myself, I'm an exception too. Although I have trouble accepting the premise that we're the exceptions. I think, just like the viewers of any form of entertainment, most don't go overboard with it. However, even many of them still enjoy it in secret due to the reaction that many women have been trained to have by society at large. There most certainly are those who misuse it, but I believe that they are the exceptions.

I also disagree with the notion that, to one with a realistic understanding of porn, it sets thosem troubling "unrealistic expectations" we keep hearing about in these threads. Porn no more sets unrealistic expectations for women than _House_ sets unrealistic expectations for doctors, or any other work of fiction. (And, yes...I even consider "amateur" porn to be fictional, as the scenarios are at least somewhat staged and optimized for the audience.)

As with anything, if porn is viewed to the detriment of one's relationship, there's a problem. I just wonder how many cases in which it's seen as a detriment are due to other factors in play. I'd be willing to bet that it's a lot of them, if not most.


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## Feelingdown (Aug 13, 2012)

I don't think there is anything wrong with porn if your wife is ok with it. 

I only ever watch it with the wife or when she's away for a few days visiting her mum. I used to sometimes watch it when she's out of the house but cut it out after I realised it effects my performance and desire to have sex with her later that day.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I'd be interested in hearing people's opinions. What is the attraction to porn? I'm not saying that in a sarcastic way. I'm serious. 

Like a lot of guys I'm turned on by watching good quality porn. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. The fact it's so prevalent makes me think there is some biological reasoning behind it. Presumably when primitive man saw his cave mates getting it on it must have aroused him. 

Any theories on why watching other people have sex is a turn on? If you thought about it on a strictly intellectual basis it's a pretty silly looking series of gyrations. Just curious...


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

MaritimeGuy said:


> I'd be interested in hearing people's opinions. What is the attraction to porn? I'm not saying that in a sarcastic way. I'm serious.
> 
> Like a lot of guys I'm turned on by watching good quality porn. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. The fact it's so prevalent makes me think there is some biological reasoning behind it. Presumably when primitive man saw his cave mates getting it on it must have aroused him.
> 
> Any theories on why watching other people have sex is a turn on? If you thought about it on a strictly intellectual basis it's a pretty silly looking series of gyrations. Just curious...


At it's root, I'd say that it's enjoyable to watch attractive people do something so primal that we enjoy doing, as well. Factor in a societal "closeting" (if you will) of overtly sexual behavior, which adds to the allure of the "forbidden." My wife, who enjoys her fair share of porn, isn't wild about the "professional" stuff because she finds it too formulaic (oral on him, oral on her, doggy, reverse cowgirl, facial...little variation in the positions and sequence of same). Even still, while she enjoys watching porn sometimes, she's said that, having been in a position to watch others in person, it's not as enjoyable as filmed. So, that tells me there's something to be said for the craftsmanship of optimizing the content for the audience.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

bkaydezz said:


> THe visual stimulation should come from the partner.
> You are viewing naked men and women in a SEXUAL way.
> 
> The sex is meant for the person you are with, with the stimulation itself deriving from the love and passion you have for him/her.
> ...


:iagree: I am strongly "against" pornography for many reasons. One reason is the detrimental effects it can have on relationships. I realize that there are exceptions and not everyone gets addicted. But why would I support something that overall has such a negative effect on society in general? I have heard too many stories of relationships that have been negatively impacted by pornography. I have experienced first-hand the negative effect of pornography in my own sexual relationship with my husband. Why would I support or condone as harmless something that has such a negative effect on society? I won't.

I also believe that porn objectifies women--and very young women at that. I will never understand how a 30 (or 40, 50 or 60) year-old man can justify "getting off" in a sexual way to a woman just because she is now 18. When you view pornography, you forget that you are "getting off" to an _individual_. And how do you really know the circumstances of her life? How do you know if this is what she truly wanted for her life? Not to mention, how do you even really know that she is 18 in the first place?

As I mentioned in another thread, I think it is important to remember that the individual you are "getting off" to is someone's daughter (or son). You should ask yourself, would I want my son or daughter to do this??? If not, why not?? And if you are strongly against your son or daughter becoming a porn star, why would you use someone else's son or daughter to fulfill your biological urges???


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

I can understand if your relationship has been negatively affected and I, too, see a lot of posts here that say it has negatively affected their relationships.

But couples who watch porn together, or guys who watch it alone and there is no adverse affect on their relationship, are not the people who have turned to TAM for advice. Therefore, you only hear mostly from people who have problems with it.

And limiting an argument to "barely 18" porn is ignoring a wide range of porn tastes.

Would I want my daughter or wife to be a porn star? No. Nor would I want them to be a cop, soldier, or some other professions for obvious reasons.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

I think 99% of the people who decide that porn has ruined their relationship are women


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

Chris Taylor said:


> Would I want my daughter or wife to be a porn star? No. Nor would I want them to be a cop, soldier, or some other professions for obvious reasons.


As I argued in another thread, you cannot really equate being a porn star to other careers that have a _positive_ effect on society. I wrote the following post in another thread. You could apply the same logic to a cop, soldier, etc...

_I will gladly explain. If one of my children wanted to become a garbage collector, I would not have a problem with this. I'll admit that I might be a little concerned that he/she would have trouble making enough money to support a family. However, if that is what my child really wanted, fine. There is no shame in collecting garbage. A garbage collector contributes positively to society. 

However, I feel that pornography contributes negatively to society. I have seen way too many marriages and relationships negatively impacted by porn. Not all people become addicted to pornography, but many do struggle with addiction. 

How does a porn star positively contribute to society? They do not. Their job is to get people off. And they do so in a way that ultimately degrades real relationships. That is really what pornography does. It degrades and damages the real intimacy that couples were meant to share with each other. I want my children to see sex as more than a pure physical release. 

This is why I see no real comparison between garbage collectors and porn stars. 

I think the very vast majority of parents would feel horrified at their little girls (and boys) growing up to be porn stars. There is a reason for this. Apparently, however, these reasons cease to matter when an orgasm is involved._


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

hotdogs said:


> I think 99% of the people who decide that porn has ruined their relationship are women


I agree that more women probably have problems with pornography than men do. Perhaps this is because they can separate themselves enough from it physically to see the detrimental effects that it has on their relationships. Pornography provides real physical pleasure for men (and some women I'm sure) that can be very addictive. Sometimes men have difficulty seeing anything negative because of the overwhelming physical pleasure that they receive from porn.

They might only realize the negative effects when the confronted with ED or when they realize that they no longer find sex satisfying with their wives. I realize this is not the case with ALL men, but it is certainly the case with enough men to cause a problem in many relationships.

I also wanted to add that wives need to realize how important sex is to their husbands. When a husband does not have sex on a regular basis, he is more vulnerable to pornography and addiction. I was very naive to this as a young wife who was often overwhelmed with kids and has a naturally low sex-drive. I'm against pornography, but I'm also dedicated to meeting my husbands' sexual needs and desires. 

Fortunately, my husband and I share the same views on pornography. He recognizes the damage it did to our relationship, and I recognize how I pushed him toward it. Since we are dedicated to each other sexually, he no longer even feels the need to view pornography.


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## MaritimeGuy (Jul 28, 2012)

I was listening to talk radio yesterday where the guest was talking about how a lot or people today complain about being 'too tired' for sex. At some level it makes sense...between being on the blackberry for work, driving the kids here there and everywhere, trying to maintain some semblance of order in the house etc. people go to bed tired. He theorized however that these people are not really too tired...it's more that they're not inspired enough to make the effort. (i.e. if the situation were right or the partner right they'd find the energy). He advocates that in a long term relationship you have to work to keep things exciting. 

I'm wondering if this concept translates to these people who abdicate their real life partners in exchange for fantasy partners on the computer or television. Is it that they're simply too lazy to get inspired for sex when they can simply sit back and let a porn producer fabricate the fantasy for them?


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

MaritimeGuy said:


> I'd be interested in hearing people's opinions. What is the attraction to porn? I'm not saying that in a sarcastic way. I'm serious.
> 
> Like a lot of guys I'm turned on by watching good quality porn. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone.* The fact it's so prevalent makes me think there is some biological reasoning behind it.* Presumably when primitive man saw his cave mates getting it on it must have aroused him.
> 
> Any theories on why watching other people have sex is a turn on? If you thought about it on a strictly intellectual basis it's a pretty silly looking series of gyrations. Just curious...


Actually,there is a reason.
Men are highly visual.
They are easily aroused by images. 

[ IMO this may not be 100% true,because in many primitive cultures both men and women wore very little clothes. There are still tribes in South America where the women's breast and buttocks are exposed 24/7 ]

So basically the sight of a naked woman is stimulation at a primitive level.
It is how we are [ supposedly ] wired.
Women are also a bit visual too.
But [ in my humble opinion ] they respond faster to other types of stimuli.
They are cultured differently.

My deep feeling is that a lot of this has to do with Eurocentric & Western culture over the last 100 years. 
But , You have raised an excellent question


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## confused55 (Apr 30, 2011)

momtwo4 said:


> :iagree: I am strongly "against" pornography for many reasons. One reason is the detrimental effects it can have on relationships. I realize that there are exceptions and not everyone gets addicted. But why would I support something that overall has such a negative effect on society in general? I have heard too many stories of relationships that have been negatively impacted by pornography. I have experienced first-hand the negative effect of pornography in my own sexual relationship with my husband. Why would I support or condone as harmless something that has such a negative effect on society? I won't.
> 
> I also believe that porn objectifies women--and very young women at that. I will never understand how a 30 (or 40, 50 or 60) year-old man can justify "getting off" in a sexual way to a woman just because she is now 18. When you view pornography, you forget that you are "getting off" to an _individual_. And how do you really know the circumstances of her life? How do you know if this is what she truly wanted for her life? Not to mention, how do you even really know that she is 18 in the first place?
> 
> As I mentioned in another thread, I think it is important to remember that the individual you are "getting off" to is someone's daughter (or son). You should ask yourself, would I want my son or daughter to do this??? If not, why not?? And if you are strongly against your son or daughter becoming a porn star, why would you use someone else's son or daughter to fulfill your biological urges???



Maybe some of the fathers of daughters out there should be asked to visualize their daughters when looking at porn, and just see if this might cure them from looking at it.

Like you say, it's someone's little girl.


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## Ano (Jun 7, 2012)

Caribbean Man said:


> Hotdogs,
> To be honest I have never met a woman who was really addicted to porn like a man would be.
> 
> With women ,porn usage is different in a way I can't explain.
> ...


I actually talked to my husband about something like this. We agreed porn and masturbation are fine as long as we are still pleasing each other. 

We did have a point where he couldnt keep it up due to masturbating excessively...and that was a huge problem...but were back on track now.

I masturbate to porn about 4 mornings a week after he leaves did work. He knows about it. I tell him. I see no reason to hide it. My husband says that its not fair because even if I am not horny I can still perform and fake it...where as if he masturbates during the day, he isn't guaranteed to be able to perform.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

confused55 said:


> Maybe some of the fathers of daughters out there should be asked to visualize their daughters when looking at porn, and just see if this might cure them from looking at it.
> 
> Like you say, it's someone's little girl.


So is/was my wife.

By the "it's someone's little girl" yardstick, I shouldn't be aroused by her, either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Unfortunately, that's not true for some. Excessive porn/masturbation can cause ED. Porn often equals the lazy (or selfish) man's sex.


I'm happy that I do not fit into that category. I also am confused how a guy can get a hard on looking at his computer screen but shrivel up when his wife is working on him. Even if there is a disparaging difference between appearances, there should be some emotional feelings to balance things out.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

Grayson said:


> So is/was my wife.
> 
> By the "it's someone's little girl" yardstick, I shouldn't be aroused by her, either.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There is an important difference here. When you married your wife, you married an individual woman. When you have sex with her, you hopefully see her as more than a sexual object to "get off" on. You share a deep emotional connection that is only deepened through the physical pleasure of sex.

The problem with pornography, in my mind, is that you forget about the individual and you really do just "get off" to a sexual object. 

When you married someone's little girl, you promised to love, respect, and cherish her. She is more than your tool to "get off" on. Clearly the woman on the screen is not. Here main purpose IS to get you off. In that light, perhaps you should remind yourself that you are viewing someone else's princess when you "get off" to a naked woman on a screen.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

momtwo4 said:


> :iagree: I am strongly "against" pornography for many reasons. One reason is the detrimental effects it can have on relationships. I realize that there are exceptions and not everyone gets addicted. But why would I support something that overall has such a negative effect on society in general? I have heard too many stories of relationships that have been negatively impacted by pornography. I have experienced first-hand the negative effect of pornography in my own sexual relationship with my husband. Why would I support or condone as harmless something that has such a negative effect on society? I won't.


I can certainly respect you having your own opinion on the subject. I would point out that a lot of it hinges on one small word: "can."

I would also point out that, as with anything, not just porn, you are far less likely to hear spontaneous non-negative stories. And I don't even mean just in forums like TAM, but in general. For instance, how frequently do you hear someone say, unprompted, "Got an oil change and a new air freshener. My car's running fine."? About as often as you're likely to hear, equally unprompted, "My husband watches porn and spanks the monkey. Our relationship is great and the sex is awesome." That's no because it never happens or is necessarily a rarity...just that people are generally more prone to take the initiative to speak up when something's going wrong rather than when something's going right.



> I also believe that porn objectifies women--and very young women at that. I will never understand how a 30 (or 40, 50 or 60) year-old man can justify "getting off" in a sexual way to a woman just because she is now 18. When you view pornography, you forget that you are "getting off" to an _individual_. And how do you really know the circumstances of her life? How do you know if this is what she truly wanted for her life? Not to mention, how do you even really know that she is 18 in the first place?


As another poster said, by proceeding from an incorrect basis that all porn is of the "barely legal" type, you overlook the variety of ages and "types" in the business. Now, if you want to say that porn models are _predominantly_ "young," (generally speaking...18-mid/late 20's), I would agree. Then, I would point out that a great deal of the "mainstream" entertainment industry fits that bill, too. Now, moving on to another point you raise, why, exactly, do you find it objectionable for a man to find a woman attractive/desirable if there's a noticeable disparity in their ages? Doing so does not prevent him from finding women closer to his age attractive nor does it limit what he finds attractive. I like many different musical acts, across several genres of music. If I applied this same measure of "propriety" to my listening choices, since my favorite band is U2, a group whose members are older than me, I shouldn't also enjoy the music of the _Glee_ cast, given their ages and overall musical style. If I think a woman is attractive, I think she's attractive, regardless of age. I'm simultaneously capable of thinking the likes of Molly Quinn and Hayden Panetierre are beautiful, Jewel Staite, Alyson Hannigan and Winona Ryder are eternally adorable, and that, darn it, there's just something undefinably sexy about Ann Curry.

How do I know they're really legal? I have to trust in the industry to police itself and comply with the requirements set upon them. And, truthfully, I don't think they want fallout like that fromTraci Lords' pulling the wool over their eyes a couple decades back.



> As I mentioned in another thread, I think it is important to remember that the individual you are "getting off" to is someone's daughter (or son). You should ask yourself, would I want my son or daughter to do this??? If not, why not?? And if you are strongly against your son or daughter becoming a porn star, why would you use someone else's son or daughter to fulfill your biological urges???


This is a tactic used in debates on the matter of porn that, on the surface, seems to hold weight, but once you examine it, falls apart. There are plenty of socially-acceptable professions I wouldn't want my child to take up. Also, it turns a blind eye to the simple truth that we're ALL "someone's son or daughter," and yet we're all (hopefully) found desirable by someone. In a reply to another poster bringing up professions that he wouldn't want his child to join in, you countered by saying that they have a "positive influence on society." Yet that's not always the case. For example, what positive influence on society does, say, a professional athlete provide? I would prefer my son not be one, but it would be his choice. Now, I can only speak regarding a daughter in the hypothetical. But, I like to think that, while I would prefer she not get into the porn industry (due primarily to the rush to judgment shed face by those adamantly opposed to porn), if she chose to, I'd be as supportive as possible. And, I'd hope that we had fostered enough of an air of open honesty that she felt she could tell us about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

Grayson said:


> Yet that's not always the case. For example, what positive influence on society does, say, a professional athlete provide? I would prefer my son not be one, but it would be his choice. Now, I can only speak regarding a daughter in the hypothetical. But, I like to think that, while I would prefer she not get into the porn industry (due primarily to the rush to judgment shed face by those adamantly opposed to porn), if she chose to, I'd be as supportive as possible. And, I'd hope that we had fostered enough of an air of open honesty that she felt she could tell us about it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are comparing a porn star to a professional athlete? Hmmmm.... I think professional athletes have many positive attributes to society. For one, they encourage children to reach for their goals and to stay fit and healthy. Professional athletes have many opportunities to be positive role models for children. Football stars do not tear apart marriages or relationships (although I do sometimes feel that I am going to lose my mind during football season).

As far as supporting your daughter if she decided to become a porn star, have you talked to your wife about this?? I would think that most parents would do anything possible to prevent that "career" choice for their daughters. And I truly would wonder if anyone who denies this is being truly honest with him/herself. I would not disown my daughter if she decided to become a porn star, but I would do everything in my power to prevent it. So would my husband.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

How funny would that be if people used the "that's someone's child" argument when it came to the death penalty!

Ah but they rarely do.


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

Grayson said:


> Now, moving on to another point you raise, why, exactly, do you find it objectionable for a man to find a woman attractive/desirable if there's a noticeable disparity in their ages? Doing so does not prevent him from finding women closer to his age attractive nor does it limit what he finds attractive. I like many different musical acts, across several genres of music. If I applied this same measure of "propriety" to my listening choices, since my favorite band is U2, a group whose members are older than me, I shouldn't also enjoy the music of the _Glee_ cast, given their ages and overall musical style. If I think a woman is attractive, I think she's attractive, regardless of age. I'm simultaneously capable of thinking the likes of Molly Quinn and Hayden Panetierre are beautiful, Jewel Staite, Alyson Hannigan and Winona Ryder are eternally adorable, and that, darn it, there's just something undefinably sexy about Ann Curry.


I'm running out of time, but I have to respond to this as well. I do not find it "objectionable" when a man notices that a young woman is attractive. This is natural. We all notice and admire attractive people. However, there is a huge difference between noticing someone is attractive and using that person to achieve an orgasm.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

momtwo4 said:


> There is an important difference here. When you married your wife, you married an individual woman. When you have sex with her, you hopefully see her as more than a sexual object to "get off" on. You share a deep emotional connection that is only deepened through the physical pleasure of sex.
> 
> The problem with pornography, in my mind, is that you forget about the individual and you really do just "get off" to a sexual object.
> 
> When you married someone's little girl, you promised to love, respect, and cherish her. She is more than your tool to "get off" on. Clearly the woman on the screen is not. Here main purpose IS to get you off. In that light, perhaps you should remind yourself that you are viewing someone else's princess when you "get off" to a naked woman on a screen.


My point still applies. I didn't marry her the moment I met her. And I didn't marry any woman that I had a previous relationship at all. So, the "someone's little girl" yardstick is still a poor measurement, as I was attracted to and/or aroused by them before forming a lasting (relatively speaking, in regards to former relationships) bond with them. In fact, that sort of primal, uninformed attraction is how many a relationship begins, wouldn't you agree?

I no more or less consciously consider the individual in porn than in any other form of entertainment. I don't watch the latest episode of _Castle_ and ponder what brought Nathan Fillion, Stana Katic or even Molly Quinn to that point in their lives...I watch to have them convincingly tell me the story of a murder mystery with a side of romantic comedy. If they do their job right, I'm not thinking of the actors and production staff...I'm drawn into the world they've created. It may sound trite to say, but the same concept applies to porn...if they're doing their jobs right (even the amateurs), I'm drawn into the moment and, frankly, turned on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

momtwo4 said:


> I'm running out of time, but I have to respond to this as well. I do not find it "objectionable" when a man notices that a young woman is attractive. This is natural. We all notice and admire attractive people. However, there is a huge difference between noticing someone is attractive and using that person to achieve an orgasm.


So, is this a double-standard, or do you apply it both ways: do you see something wrong if, say, a 19-year-old is aroused to masturbation/orgasm by porn featuring so-called "MILFs?"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

MILF MILF MILF! woot


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

Grayson said:


> So, is this a double-standard, or do you apply it both ways: do you see something wrong if, say, a 19-year-old is aroused to masturbation/orgasm by porn featuring so-called "MILFs?"
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There is no double-standard. I see it as wrong all around. Pornography causes more harm than good, and it is something that my husband and I have chosen to not have in our lives. It does make me feel particularly worried, however, when I hear of 18-year-old porn stars. How does this not perpetuate teen porn? You trust that the site has checked the age of the girls. Well, I just don't think it is worth taking the risk that you could very well be taking advantage of an under-age child. 

I realize I won't change your mind. And I'll be the first to admit that my arguments are not seamless and probably do have logical flaws. At the same time, I will not budge in my conviction that pornography has caused way too much grief and angst for marriages, for young women (and men) and that it ultimately cheapens real sex. In my opinion, we'd all be better off without it. 

I'm off. Best to you.


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## hotdogs (Aug 9, 2012)

To forbid your husband, as a grown man, to do something as harmless as looking at a picture or watching a movie isn't fair. It's controlling and could harm your marriage 1000x more than any porn.

Unless he's done something wrong like replaced you or ran up the credit card bills thousands of dollars in his pursuit of porn then why even risk that?


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

hotdogs said:


> To forbid your husband, as a grown man, to do something as harmless as looking at a picture or watching a movie isn't fair. It's controlling and could harm your marriage 1000x more than any porn.
> 
> Unless he's done something wrong like replaced you or ran up the credit card bills thousands of dollars in his pursuit of porn then why even risk that?


Oh, I didn't "forbid" him to look at porn. It's a decision we reached together. There is this false mindset that ALL men look at porn and that is completely natural. I will admit that most men probably do look at porn. But there are also men who have decided that they would rather NOT look at it for numerous reasons. My husband is not the only one, by the way. I have several close friends who have reached the same conclusions in their marriages.

I've been married eight years to my husband, and we have had our fair share of problems. However, we are definitely stronger without pornography in our relationship. My husband comes to me for sex, and I do my best to meet his needs. We've both made sacrifices in this marriage. And we're stronger for it. This is one of the main reasons I feel so strongly about this topic.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

momtwo4 said:


> You are comparing a porn star to a professional athlete? Hmmmm....


It was a single example, but sure. They both rely upon displaying their physicality for the base enjoyment of others to make a living.



> I think professional athletes have many positive attributes to society. For one, they encourage children to reach for their goals and to stay fit and healthy. Professional athletes have many opportunities to be positive role models for children.


Personally, I disagree. Unless, that is, the goals one wants their kids to reach for involve looking down on an education, the institutionalized use of performance enhancing drugs, an over-the-top sense of entitlement, and so on. Yes...what wonderful role models for children. And that's just looking at professional athletes in general, without looking at sports like football, boxing and MMA, in which one wins by inflicting the most damage on another person as possible. I take it your concern for the individual extends to such physical violence, as well, and that you are as opposed to these sports as porn for the same reason, correct?



> Football stars do not tear apart marriages or relationships (although I do sometimes feel that I am going to lose my mind during football season).


Porn stars don't tear apart marriages, either. Nor does porn. Or even football. One partner's misuse of or inordinate enjoyment of porn, football, gambling, or any other pastime that infringes upon the relationship does, however.

[quite]As far as supporting your daughter if she decided to become a porn star, have you talked to your wife about this??[/quote]

Why on Earth would I discuss something that can never happen? As I said, I can only speak to the question in the hypothetical, as we don't have a daughter. And, unless human reproduction changes dramatically to not require the female reproductive system, we won't have one.



> I would think that most parents would do anything possible to prevent that "career" choice for their daughters. And I truly would wonder if anyone who denies this is being truly honest with him/herself. I would not disown my daughter if she decided to become a porn star, but I would do everything in my power to prevent it. So would my husband.


Once again, I can only approach it hypothetically. And, just as I might discourage my son from a football career, so to do I imagine that I would discourage a daughter from a career in porn, if only because of the backlash she would recieve from people, well, not to put too fine a point on it, like yourself, who assume the worst about anything and everything associated with it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## momtwo4 (May 23, 2012)

Grayson said:


> Once again, I can only approach it hypothetically. And, just as I might discourage my son from a football career, so to do I imagine that I would discourage a daughter from a career in porn, if only because of the backlash she would recieve from people, well, not to put too fine a point on it, like yourself, who assume the worst about anything and everything associated with it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


And I have a hypothetical guess that if you did indeed have a daughter, you might feel a tad bit stronger about your princess broadcasting her v***** on the internet than you would about your son becoming a football star.

You can bet that although I certainly wouldn't want my son playing football and taking performance enhancing drugs, I would send him running down that field WAY before I would condone my daughter taking off her underwear for a collection of horny men hulking over their computers.

And just for the record (so I don't get accused of favoring my daughter over my sons) that goes for my sons as well. I would encourage an athletic career for my daughter WAY before I would encourage my sons to become porn stars. 

But this is all hypothetical of course.


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

momtwo4 said:


> There is no double-standard. I see it as wrong all around. Pornography causes more harm than good, and it is something that my husband and I have chosen to not have in our lives.


I admire your consistency of response. And, the two of you have found what works for you. Pornography itself causes neither harm nor good. What people choose to do with it (at any stage, from production to consumption), however, can be a different matter entirely. And that has nothing to do with the porn, and everything to do with the people involved.



> It does make me feel particularly worried, however, when I hear of 18-year-old porn stars.


Why? Because an adult has chosen a profession that you find distasteful? Are you equally worried when you hear of, for example, an 18-year-old boxer?


> How does this not perpetuate teen porn?


Seems like a word game here. Strictly speaking, any porn with adults of 18 and 19 is "teen porn."

Or are you attempting to make a direct connection between adults, whose ages end in the word "teen" due to the way the numbering system works and underage porn?



> You trust that the site has checked the age of the girls. Well, I just don't think it is worth taking the risk that you could very well be taking advantage of an under-age child.


Site. Studio. What have you. If there's a notification that their records are on file, as required by law, you're right...I trust them to do their due diligence. They're making money from the pictures, videos, etc, and have too much to lose by being shut down for illegal content. Especially since Traci Lords snuck into the business underage in the 80's, then revealed the truth, I think the industry is looking to prevent that from happening again. That said, there are people - male and female - who look younger than they are and who look older than they are. If they're consenting adults, who are any of us to say that can't participate in ANY industry based just on their appearance?



> I realize I won't change your mind. And I'll be the first to admit that my arguments are not seamless and probably do have logical flaws. At the same time, I will not budge in my conviction that pornography has caused way too much grief and angst for marriages, for young women (and men) and that it ultimately cheapens real sex. In my opinion, we'd all be better off without it.


And I'll have to respectfully disagree. I understand your perspective, but from mine, pornography did nothing to those relationships or people. Those people's choices did. I fully agree that the use of porn to the exclusion of one's spouse is a problem. But, it's a problem created by that person making the choice. Likewise, alcohol itself is not a problem...alcohol abuse, however, is. And that's the distinction I make...the tool someone uses to damage their relationship isn't to blame...the person wielding it is.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chillymorn (Aug 11, 2010)

fridged women don't like porn because they can't control their husband throught sex!


I would never look at porn if my wife was open minded (like before we maried)about sex.

but to be honest its tought to masterbate to thoughts of your wife no matter how beautiful she is if shes a stick in the mud when it comes to sex.

and what about romance novels? porn for women eritica is considered porn by definition. and it gives unrealistic expectations about true romance. no one can compete with the romantic drivel put in thoese books.

men that would scale the world or scrafice everything for their women.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

CandieGirl said:


> Unfortunately, that's not true for some. Excessive porn/masturbation can cause ED. Porn often equals the lazy (or selfish) man's sex.


I think this is the biggest issue--the refractory period. If, as a man, you're able to masturbate to porn and turn around and have an orgasm with your wife when she intiates sex, more power to you. But a lot of men can't do this, especially as they get older.

The Internet has also brought video porn (not the same as magazines) to every boy in America who has access. You take a guy in his early 20's, it isn't unusual to say that he's watched more porn than a man 3x his age. And these guys are developing ED, and then viagra doesn't work because it isn't a physiological problem, it's a brain pleasure cycle issue. But in general, that applies to men (incl young men) who are watching upwards of 10 hours or more a week and masturbating along with it.

Vibrators can work the same way--if a woman uses one too much, she can have a harder time getting off with the real thing by desensitizing her. That is the female analog.

In both cases, it's about people masturbating to excess. But there is a difference: women don't have much, if any, refractory period. For men in their 70's, it can be as long as 20 hours before they can orgasm again (give or take, some men have higher testosterone and better health). So as men get older, in my view, they need to be careful about masturbation if it interferes with their ability to have sex with their wives. Many men don't make the connection or refuse to do so--and that's just selfish and sad.

But porn is a complex topic you can't reduce to a soundbite. Some men have ED first and turn to porn as a result. The find that the stress of "performing on command" gets the better of them. Porn doesn't have any expectations or demands. It waits patiently for you until you're ready. Still, you can see how this becomes a chicken and egg question. Does a man have ED because he watches too much porn? Or does he watch too much because he has ED? I would say if a man even has a question about this, just stop masturbating for a while. It ain't gonna kill ya.


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## Caribbean Man (Jun 3, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> I'm happy that I do not fit into that category. *I also am confused how a guy can get a hard on looking at his computer screen but shrivel up when his wife is working on him. Even if there is a disparaging difference between appearances, there should be some emotional feelings to balance things out.*


:iagree::lol:

This made me laugh.
From the very first time I had sex,it dawned on me that masturbation could NEVER be better than sex.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

On a totally separate angle from my post above, I do think that it's fair to question whether the people participating in the porn are 

1. of legal age 
2. giving consent 
3. being properly compensated

If the answer is no to any of these, I would hope that people of good conscience would not watch, because in these cases it only lines the pockets of people who would do the same thing to your female relatives if given half the chance.

The problem is that it's very difficult to tell whether any of these are true, or not, when watching porn over the Internet. But, just like child labor and other fair trade type of issues, most people are willing to turn a blind eye.

It's not unlike the use of slavery (including child slavery) in the harvesting of chocolate on the west coast of Africa. It's extremely difficult to police, so some people basically don't eat any chocolate unless it's fair trade certified, because there is no other way to tell. Chocolate is grown in other parts of the world, but in 2012 about 40% comes from Cote d'Ivoire, which is the country with by far the worst record on this issue. (They've been accused of kidnapping from neighboring countries and chaining their captives to the cocoa trees to harvest the beans. It's pretty appalling stuff if you look into it.) But, chocolate is one of those foods where you can have a lot of it harvested by child labor--in 2012, no less--and it just goes right on with little chance of being stopped. Just try suggesting to someone that they not eat chocolate; they get a wild look in their eyes and it's clear that they can't bear the thought. (Different kinds of chocolate grow in different climates, and it's a mix of the different kinds that makes the best chocolate, so this is another reason chocolate production doesn't just shift to a country with little child labor issues in its harvesting.)


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

iheartlife said:


> On a totally separate angle from my post above, I do think that it's fair to question whether the people participating in the porn are
> 
> 1. of legal age
> 2. giving consent
> ...


I can agree with this, with the understanding that, with the burgeoning field of "self-published" amateur porn available, that "proper compensation" is not necessarily monetary, but could be as simple as the thrill of doing it.


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## ScaredandUnsure (Nov 17, 2011)

I would never complain about and try to control porn usage, as long as he would never complain about and try to control my toy usage (what kinds I have, how big they are, how vibrate-y they are, if I use them when he's not around or if I don't bring them into our sex life) In my relationship, everyone is entitled to their own personal time, I don't control his and he doesn't control mine. I don't choose his porn for him and he has no say in what kinds of toys I use to masturbate with.


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## iheartlife (Apr 4, 2012)

Grayson said:


> I can agree with this, with the understanding that, with the burgeoning field of "self-published" amateur porn available, that "proper compensation" is not necessarily monetary, but could be as simple as the thrill of doing it.


Yes, I would have to concede that point. I suppose any goof with a phone can become an instant unpaid porn star these days.


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## IAMCIV (Nov 8, 2011)

This is the very issue that has lead me to these boards. My wife feels that me looking at porn or swimsuit pics or anything suggestive implies that she is not enough for me and we need to get divorced. Nothing can be further from the truth as I'd rather be with her than any one else, hence the marriage thing. I understand her point of view and right now am not looking at porn, although sometimes she thinks I'm lying and I have to convince her otherwise. 

She says I am free to look at porn, but if I do, she cannot be with me. Now let me be clear, she takes care of me sexually and I have no issues regarding that aspect regarding frequency and so forth, however there are certain things I like, have told her I like and nothing. Am I to completely phase out of my brain things I like because she doesn't want to do these things? I undertstand she might not want to, but that doesn't mean I no longer am interested. And I'm not talking about anything crazy, stuff like simple lingere or enjoying watching a woman please herself. 

So I understand her point of view, but still have desires...


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## Jeapordy (Aug 12, 2012)

A woman that doesn't want you to look at porn is doing so because they are insecure with themselves. If the porn is impacting your ability to meet her needs, that's a different story. 
Men are visual, so porn is the medium of choice. Women are emotionally aroused, so to be consistent, that means that the women who think porn is unacceptable should not read any romance novels without their husband's consent. What about romantic "chick flick" movies. No more of those either.


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## curlysue321 (Jul 30, 2012)

I personally would be offended. I'm 43 who wants to compete with an 18 year old ideal and be objectified that way.


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

40isthenew20 said:


> I'm happy that I do not fit into that category. I also am confused how a guy can get a hard on looking at his computer screen but shrivel up when his wife is working on him. Even if there is a disparaging difference between appearances, there should be some emotional feelings to balance things out.


insecurities and performance pressures can do that.


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## anonim (Apr 24, 2012)

curlysue321 said:


> I personally would be offended. I'm 43 who wants to compete with an 18 year old ideal and be objectified that way.


whose mind is the competition in?


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## Grayson (Oct 28, 2010)

curlysue321 said:


> I personally would be offended. I'm 43 who wants to compete with an 18 year old ideal and be objectified that way.


Why assume there's a "competition?"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

Grayson said:


> Why assume there's a "competition?"
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There is no competition. I would of course rather to have sex with my wife but I know that she is not going to have the same drive as I do. So that is why porn is a good outlet and actually gets me off her back.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

hotdogs said:


> What I meant by emotionally available was sometimes one partner will have too much stress in their lives from things the other partner cannot control (work, school etc) and it will result in the partner not being sexually available. I would think that rather force themselves or guilt the unavailable partner (or worse, cheat) that porn could be a good outlet.


Nope. At least, not for me. My husband is a HD than me, but I am not what I would consider to be a LD. That said, we both have very busy lives. He wakes up before the sun has risen, works over eight hours five days a week. I am a full time student attending two colleges while also working at the community college to help pay my tuition. I have a lot of classes and a lot of homework, as well as house work to do because I have more time than H does. How we react to stress is _entirely_ up to us. And sex is an incredibly sex reliever. At least for us. Maybe it's not for others. 

And, I'm sorry, but if you're so busy that you can't make time for your partner, neither of you needs porn, you need counciling.


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## Created2Write (Aug 25, 2011)

chillymorn said:


> fridged women don't like porn because they can't control their husband throught sex!
> 
> 
> I would never look at porn if my wife was open minded (like before we maried)about sex.
> ...


I was waiting for someone to mention this. 

My husband doesn't watch porn, and I am thankful for that. We would not have married if he did. I want a _monogamous_ relationship. That, to me, means that no one else is included in the emotional and sexual aspects of our relationship...whether he/she is physically in our bed, or on our computer screen. Moreover, I don't read romance novels because they are incredibly erotic. I used to read romance novels, and I started to have sexual issues with being aroused. So I stopped reading them and my issues went away. 

Maybe some people can watch porn and be fine. Maybe some people can read romance novels and be fine. But for my marriage, we hold our sexual relationship in very high regard and would rather put forth the effort to make it satisfying to the both of us, instead of turning to something as empty as porn and romance novels.


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

sighs, age old myth again about women not being visual.

well i get wet just from watching it, so what's going on if women aren't as visual.

when i do have another man in my life i will be giving all my lusting to him, don't want him thinking i'm lusting after a stud with a bigger ****.  

i do believe though that men that jack off alot are more prone to have ed when it comes to real sex.


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## LoveYourself (Aug 19, 2012)

Me and my partner both enjoy porn occasionally, especially watching it together. I don’t feel like I’m competing with anyone because he always seems to like what he sees when he looks at me and the feeling is mutual. Also ladies, and gents, pornstars come in all shapes sizes ages patterns colorations etc. 

I’ve never really understood why monogamous persons (including my partner) would enjoy porn and claim to only want one person but that’s a whole other complicated discussion .


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