# Longing for baby?



## demora (Jan 22, 2008)

Hello,

One thing that I guess has me in the dumps a little bit is the fact that another year of my life has come and gone (birthday coming up) and still no babies. In some ways, I have to say this is a good thing. We are going through some difficulties in our relationship right now, but on the flip side, I know that my body is getting older and older. The possibilities of something going wrong if I should get pregnant are increasing. 

To add insult to injury, I don't produce eggs, so for me to get pregnant, we will need help. In order for that to happen, they said I have to lose A LOT of weight. 

We've talked about adoption, but with my husband's porn problem, I don't think we would pass the home study.

My feelings of wanting a baby keep getting stronger and I hate it when I see all of these babies in the news that are being abused, abandonded and killed. I often wonder what God hates about me so much that He doesn't see me fit to be a mom...but that's when I get really angry about it.

Thanks for adding the spot to vent.


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## kapjet (Feb 2, 2008)

Wow! I never understood why people who dont really want kids can push them out and the ones who really want and would do anything for one cant! Its just not fair. However, all is not lost yet. Stop thinking about it and carry on with your life and marriage and work on that for now. Maybe try and lose abit of weight, join a gym or something and feel better about yourself! Maybe start the adoption process so you dont have to wait as long. Who knows maybe when your mind isnt on making babies 24 -7 it may finally happen! Its been known to happen! Your body works in mysterious ways! 
Good luck!


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## draconis (Oct 3, 2007)

God doesn't hate you and I hope you never feel that way. Sometimes the worst things happen to good people. In the Christian bible look at the Book of Job and his perseverance in suffering. You seem like a great person and maybe the answer is before you and you just don't see it, maybe you'll never know how many people you life has touched. 

draconis


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## demora (Jan 22, 2008)

It's not that I obess about it so much. I don't have much time to really think about it, and I guess maybe that's part of the reason...maybe I have all I can handle right now. The irony of it is that I placed a baby for adoption when I was young. I was afraid at that time that he would be my first and only child because of my history with my cycles. 

Ahhhh well. I have my furry daughters (Shey, a husky and Tidbit a chau/min pin mix) and they have lots of love to give and recieve.


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## mollyL (Dec 31, 2007)

Being upbeat and positive, as in sharing a lot of love with your furry friends, is the way to go, that’s for certain. An upbeat attitude will relax and perhaps even help you to conceive; and if not that, then to accept whatever fate has in store for you.


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## charlenecoetzee (Mar 26, 2008)

Hi Everyone!
I've just joined this site about 20 min ago! We've also been struggling to conceive for nearly 3 yrs now. But never giving up & still going strong! But I've got a question: I recently heard from friends & family asking if we haven't tried 'The Gift'? I'm from South-Africa and never heard of this before. Does anyone know this ormaybe shead a liitle light on telling me more about 'The Gift', if any such thing excists, please?


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## loobylou22 (Aug 14, 2008)

i have a two year old son and its brill!
i dont have the problems that your talking about 
but a friend of mine does/did???
she has polysistic overies witch means she dosnt produce eggs her self and she had finally come to terms with the facts that she wont have a baby naturally and stopped worrying about it and once she relaxed about it all and stopped stressing she started to ovulate again after 3 years 
and shes now 8 months pregnat with her first child her and her hubby are over the moon because its all just happend by its self
i know there situation is not the same as yours but your body is an amazing machiene that has the ability to fix its self and sort out its own problems so relax and try to carry on with your life it may just happen for you too
x


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## justean (May 28, 2008)

i agree with you - stress plays a huge part in concieving.


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

demora said:


> Hello,
> 
> One thing that I guess has me in the dumps a little bit is the fact that another year of my life has come and gone (birthday coming up) and still no babies. In some ways, I have to say this is a good thing. We are going through some difficulties in our relationship right now, but on the flip side, I know that my body is getting older and older. The possibilities of something going wrong if I should get pregnant are increasing.
> 
> ...


Hun, if your husband is into porn, he needs to give that up. How does he have time to make a baby, much less be a good daddy to it?


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## lonely1inohio (Sep 3, 2008)

My heart goes out to all that are having trouble in the baby department. My wife and I tried in vain for many years. We went through 3 artificial inseminations and 3 invetro fertilizations. After the last procedure we were blessed with 2 beautifiul baby girls and we had almost entirely given up. Keep your hopes up. The years of wanting really took a toll on our marriage and no one knows how physically & mentaly draining it is having love to give but no child to give it to. Not to mention the financial kick in the teeth when the doctors bills roll in. I do not have any majic words and surely do not have everything figured out but what I can tell you is do everything and anything you can to achive what you want. So you will never look back & wish you had tried harder.

I had the perfect marriage except for no kids!
Now my kids are all that seems to hold my marriage together.


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

You have baby on the mind. Don't think about making one, when you make love. Works for the ones that get that way and don't want one, right? You can also go to Church and they will give you a blessing to have a child. It worked for someone I know. May I ask how old are you? If you don't want to say, it's ok. I was just thinking the older you are, the harder it will be to get that way. Also, your baby has a higher chance that something could be wrong with it. If you feel you are not a strong person to handle this if it happens, than you may want to adopt, but still with that, you don't know how he or she will be. I know someone who adopted a little boy when he was just a baby. Now he 4 or 5, and can't do a thing with him. It is not just having a sweet little baby, you have to know that sometimes it is more work than pleasure. Not saying not to have one..I love babies myself, but life is like a box of chocolate..you never know what you will get. If your husband has a problem, I would (if I were you) deal with your husband problem first, before adding more stress on you.


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## sos (Oct 29, 2008)

i know exactly what you mean hun. 

people saying relax is the worst advice people can give if im honest, ive had many people say the same things to me and i just want to scream at them that we were relaxed, but it still didnt happen, it still didnt happen with help. 

do have to keep positive tho hun, even tho easier said than done tho. 

have you sort any advice from your doctor? had any tests done? first off you will need to so you know if there is a problem? or tried ovulation kits so you know the exact time that you ovulated so yuo can catch the egg. sorry if i sound patronising and if you have done all this but just wanted to give you some advice if you havent.

hugs


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## Honey (Sep 2, 2008)

I think your husband needs to give that porn crap up. To have a happy marriage and bring a child into this world, your husband needs to let that trash go. So many marriages end because of that $#!^, and it is so very sad that you pick someone that you can't never be with anyway over the real deal you have at home. Just seems so damn stupid and unreal to me.


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## Ashley (Oct 21, 2008)

demora said:


> Hello,
> 
> One thing that I guess has me in the dumps a little bit is the fact that another year of my life has come and gone (birthday coming up) and still no babies. In some ways, I have to say this is a good thing. We are going through some difficulties in our relationship right now, but on the flip side, I know that my body is getting older and older. The possibilities of something going wrong if I should get pregnant are increasing.
> 
> ...


What porn problem?
if he is watching porn on the internet just block the sides.
you go on internet configuration and security and insert all links of all internet sides he visit, and block them.
he will never know.
You can also have a password on your computer so he cant use it.

You said you had to lose a lot of weight.. meaning you are seriously overweighty?
in that case why dont you have a sound diet and exercise a lot so that you can get to they ideal weight faster and be able to produce eggs again and to conceive?
In fact it might lose both problem in once:
Your husband will drop porno because you will be more attractive again, so he will be more willing to have sex with you
and you will produce eggs so you will be more able to become pregnant.


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## Aeval (Nov 3, 2008)

Ashley said:


> What porn problem?
> if he is watching porn on the internet just block the sides.
> you go on internet configuration and security and insert all links of all internet sides he visit, and block them.
> he will never know.
> ...


:scratchhead:

Please tell me this post is sarcastic!


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## mommieof3 (Jan 21, 2009)

I have read your story and my sister in law had the same problem as you with infertility, her doctor told her that she had PCOS and that she did not produce eggs and her cycle was all off and he gave her reslin ( I think that is how you spell it) and within three months she was pregnant. Not saying that that will work for you but if you see a specialist and talk about options then maybe he/she can give you others. I know how you feel with wanting a baby because I want one too. Anyhow I hope that this helps


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## MarineWife08 (Apr 17, 2009)

Have you given any thought to egg donation?


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## jasmine0247 (Jul 9, 2010)

A few things here:

I have the same issues with cycles and ovulating. I cry often when I hear of someone getting pregnant. I go into a deep depression. I am not currently married, but was. We had one child and then started to try for another when all the fertility issues came about. After some trips to the doctor and tests, we separated. I am thankful that I did not get pregnant with him because I would have stayed in that marriage and continued to be unhappy. BUT the desire for children has not gone away and I have yet to find a steady partner to start a family with. (Although, if I got pregnant as a single mother I'd be ok with that, it's not the ideal situation though)

A few other comments : (response to a comment above) a person's interest in porn does NOT affect parenting abilities. If the person was obsessed with it that's a different story. But any parent who is obsessed with anything (exercise, online chat, tv, food, etc) they may end up neglectful towards the child. 

If you know that you need to lose weight in order to even start the fertility process... (for me anyway) I was extremely overweight when that comment was made (now I'm not) and I started eating healthier and working out for my own health not to just get pregnant. Your overall attitude, energy and happiness is important and is being affected by weight.

If your marriage is not doing that well, consider counseling or another way to fix that. (For me, I had to leave)

Adoption process is a long and difficult one, you should start now. If the husband isn't willing to let go of his porn (at least temporarily) to have a child then you are not on the same page.

If you have a desire to have children maybe you could fill that void by volunteering or working with children. Those children you mentioned that are born to crappy people need role models. The Big Brother Big Sister program is always looking for volunteers.

ALSO I know where I live there is a shortage of foster parents. It is much easier to become a foster parent and many times easier to adopt a child that way. (many times a baby)


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## jasmine0247 (Jul 9, 2010)

Oh one more thing:

I hear clomid works great.
Progesterone can kick start a period.
If you don't want to see a doctor you can get progesterone products from health stores online.


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