# sad



## firefairy (May 21, 2012)

Another counselor session last night.. it didn’t go well but it didn’t go as bad as the first session. She wants to see us separate next. I do next Tuesday, him the following. Last night was the ‘assessment.’ She asked us a bunch of questions about how we met, our wedding, kids, adapting to changes, highs and lows, etc. I made the mistake of answering first.. really trying to remember things to answer the best that I could.. He seemed to just hang on to my negative words, if any.. play defense mode or try to use the power when I put myself down to push me down further. He didn’t really answer the questions in depth. When she asked him what he liked about me, what made him want to marry me.. the answers were so vague. Like ‘it was new, it was exciting, it was fun’ nothing.. nothing at all that described me. I’m feeling a bit empty and depressed today. Didn’t sleep well last night. One thing really stood out. When she asked about us moving in together, it was a year into our relationship.. he mentioned how I almost moved out already, on our first weekend in our place. In his story he went to measure a job and had a few drinks, he didn’t think he did anything wrong and still doesn’t feel like he did anything wrong. From my point of view, it was our first night in our place.. it was supposed to be special.. he went to measure a job and then stayed out for hours drinking and came home half wasted. I should’ve thrown the red flag then. Luckily I didn’t because of our daughter that followed a few months later… but why did I stay this long?? She gave us packets to complete at home.. in filling them out I realized why soo far apart we could be strangers!! We don’t know each other, have common interest or react well together. We can’t/don’t handle stress or conflict well together. We are not friends or lovers nor do we have any romance in our lives. SO WHY the HECK do I feel so sick in my stomach about this. Why do I want to try to save something that doesn’t exist????


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## firefairy (May 21, 2012)

I’ve become ‘that girl’ – the kindof girl I can’t stand.. maybe that’s why I can’t stand myself lately. You know what I’m talking about.. the girl that’s always complaining about how unhappy she is.. how tired she is of getting treated like dirt.. yet she keeps staying for another round. The girl that knows without a shadow of a doubt that the end of the road was reached a long time ago.. yet she hangs around hurting herself and hurting him so more because the unknown road is so empty and distorted looking.


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## 2xloser (May 8, 2011)

Look at it this way: by doing the right thing in getting yourselves into counseling, you are rapidly uncovering issues that are at the core of your problems. And knowing what they are is the first step toward addressing them, and hopefully fixing them -- this is a good thing!

So, in a nutshell, you are actually on the path to doing *something* to change the situation -- regardless of whether these are truly "irreconciliable differences", or they are things you two can acknowledge and work through together, with the help of a professional. That's why they do this. You are early in the process; give it time and let it work for you, trust in it a bit. You're not going to go to a sessin or two and have magical answers. It's a process, and it's hard work... Think of it all in this positive light for a few weeks/sessions; see if it helps you.


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