# Thinking about the future



## Ixy87 (Oct 2, 2017)

So, I am newly seperated, not yet divorced. It's only been 2 months. I want to be clear that I would give just about anything to reconcile with my husband but he doesn't want to even try, mainly because he has developed an emotional affair and is in "the fog" of it. Since he is set on divorce, I find myself wondering about the future, every aspect of it, and it's daunting. I can reason that certain aspects will move along through life without a bump, but there are numerous concerns I have... one being a future relationship with someone else. I am terrified of the thought, yet I do not want to be alone forever either. My husband is the only man I have ever been with in a sexual way, I don't know if I could ever get over my nerves of the idea of sharing myself with someone else. I know I shouldn't be thinking of these things yet, I should take it one day at a time, but ya know when you're alone, or in the shower, these thoughts creep into your fragile mind and cause havoc. I am worried I will be alone forever....  Suggestion? Is this a normal part of seperation?


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

I'm sorry you're down, Ixy.

While this is all still relatively new for you, your slime-ball husband has had plenty of time to get accustomed to the marriage ending and to moving on with his 'soul mate.' And, unless those two shining examples of humanity live 5,000 miles apart and have never met, it *wasn't* just an EA. This was a full blown physical affair, trust me. Most men don't leave their marriages for a 'crush' they have on some woman. And "fog" is just a nonsense term BS's use to self soothe because it's too hard to face the fact that their cheating spouse is the lowest life form on earth. It's easier to believe that a magic 'fog' has control of them. Pfffft.

There's no fog. You're seeing the ass-hat for exactly what he IS. 

And don't be surprised if 6 or 7 months down the road, Romeo starts contacting you and crying into his Cheerios about what a '_mistake_' he made, and how he '_regrets having left you_' and all the other usual bull**** cheaters use when they desert their wives and want to come back home. A lot of these fools leave their wives thinking their new life with their new soul mate is going to be Nirvana. Months and sometimes years down the road when they realize it AIN'T the Paradise they thought it would be, they start sniffing around their wives again. That just makes you *Plan B*, is all. Anyone who willfully leaves their wife for greener pastures doesn't deserve another chance just because their new-found love wasn't everything they thought it would be. They deserve exactly what they get.

And lastly, since he's the only one you've ever been with, you have nothing else to compare him to. I think you'll find out one day in the future when you're back in a healthy emotional state and in a solid relationship again, that he wasn't the end all and be all sexually, like you assume he is. He ain't.

Of course right now you're not in a position to want to be with anyone just yet, even though you think about it. It's your marriage that came to an unfortunate end, not you. You're still human and your thoughts and desires are completely natural.

You're going to do just fine. :grin2:


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## Ixy87 (Oct 2, 2017)

She'sStillGotIt said:


> I'm sorry you're down, Ixy.
> 
> While this is all still relatively new for you, your slime-ball husband has had plenty of time to get accustomed to the marriage ending and to moving on with his 'soul mate.' And, unless those two shining examples of humanity live 5,000 miles apart and have never met, it *wasn't* just an EA. This was a full blown physical affair, trust me. Most men don't leave their marriages for a 'crush' they have on some woman. And "fog" is just a nonsense term BS's use to self soothe because it's too hard to face the fact that their cheating spouse is the lowest life form on earth. It's easier to believe that a magic 'fog' has control of them. Pfffft.
> 
> ...



I need you to be my best friend. ? I totally respect your honesty and straight forward no BS. It's a huge comfort after feeling like no one is trustworthy the last couple of months. Thank you.


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## She'sStillGotIt (Jul 30, 2016)

Ixy87 said:


> I need you to be my best friend. ? I totally respect your honesty and straight forward no BS. It's a huge comfort after feeling like no one is trustworthy the last couple of months. Thank you.


I'll always tell you like it is. You've got this, Ixy. You do!


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