# it's been a while



## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

it has been a year that my husband left me. We are still talking...just as friends....he still hasn't asked me for a divorce. 
We go out at least once a week. I got a new job and I love it. We are in very good terms. But the last time we talked about our relationship was this january. I still hold to that same hope I had a year ago that we will be together. I still love him very much. And it still hurts, but I am doing way better now. I hope that one day you will see the good in this, and I hope that your marriage heals =)


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## Jellybeans (Mar 8, 2011)

So what's the plan? Stay in limbo til he decides? A year is a looong time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## staircase (May 16, 2011)

A year is a long time. You were me two weeks ago. We waffled around for a year. I hope things turn around for you!


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## VLR (May 15, 2011)

Sometimes separation can help break unhealthy patterns and give two people a chance to regroup. Is he calling all the shots? Are you just chasing after him hoping he'll take you back at some point? What is he actually accomplishing or working through during this time? What are you accomplishing or working through? What has to be different from the past in order for you to move forward?


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## sadand (Apr 2, 2011)

I would love to think that we could heal after a separation, my H is the one who wants the divorce, but he keeps putting off telling anyone. This weekend will be the clincher, he is supposed to arrange to have us tell the kids tomorrow night. He has not mentioned anything to them yet.


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## VLR (May 15, 2011)

I infer from your answer then that he is, in fact, calling all the shots. This has to be brutal for you. I'm very sorry. this hurts so deeply and it's easy for someone else to type responses without giving it the proper thought. I've played the role of the one who will do anything just to have a chance to be loved. I've chased and chased thinking at some point my love and devotion will be noticed and appreciated and then we'll live happily ever after. There must be a better way. I've been in therapy enough to begin to grasp what a train-wreck I am. I've also been pummeled enough to look for a better solution. I wish you well through your difficulty.


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

Sorry for replying so late.....

Just wanted to say that I am not stuck in limbo. True I am still hopeful that one day we might reconcile. But I don't dwell on that thought like I did on the first months of our separation. I have learned to be patient. If he wants to works things out then Great! If not, it he wants a divorce then, I will sign the papers. Still...I know that we will be together again. 

I have remain faithful to him and I will continue to do so until I know that it is it. I will continue to love him regardless. We have an unusual separation because we still see each other every week. We go out. We have dinner, see a movie, go shopping and we call it a night. We are able to do this because before we were lovers, we were friends. And we are still emotionally bonded...for life I think. 

I have no idea what's going to happen in our future, but we know for sure that we will remain friends because we do love each other. We have a very peaceful relationship and we are aware of the situation we are in. He hasn't demanded for a divorce and I wont ask him, and I wont give him ultimatums. If it's meant to be, it will be. 

I will say this one thing for sure....I give all the praise to my Lord for allowing me to love.


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## DelinquentGurl (Mar 25, 2011)

Prelude,

I don't think your situation is all that uncommon. I know plenty of couples who separate and still spend time together.
It sounds like you have used this opportunity to grow and are on the right track.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PreludeCkN (Jan 21, 2010)

I really hope so. I really want us to get back together =)


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## yourbabygirl (May 28, 2011)

Hi, I am on the same boat, but less than 2 weeks since he left me. 

We also still do a lot of things together and we are still each others' best friend. 

The reason why he left is because he felt I could never change, that I am always going to nag and complain and never listen to him, so that is why now as his friend I am doing all of the goods things for so he will notice that I can change and in fact, I have already changed. 

Also praying for a miracle.


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