# my marriage is falling apart and I am confussed



## fireyredhead (Aug 2, 2009)

hello, I am a 32 year old that has 2 beautiful daughters from previous relationships. Am married to the most wonderful, loving, caring man or at least I thought. WE got married Feb 14 2008. Everything was so right, we was the couple that everyone wanted to be like and adored. There wasnt anything we couldnt talk about, never argued or fought. Until about 3 months ago. I am not sure what has happened but wondering if my hubby could be going through a mid life crisis. He turned 46 on may 15th after his b-day he came to me and said, I am not sure what is going on with me but something feels different. I dont know what it is but I just dont feel right and can only hope you will be strong and stay by my side and help me get through whatever this is. I said yes no problem. Well needless to say my 9 and 7 year old dont exactly give him the upmost respect because in the last 2months he has said things like he wanted a divorce and it was all my 9 year olds fault. and that he would be happier if we left. But in the same sentence will say I havent done anything wrong. I feel like my prince charming got on his white horse and rode off into the sunset without me. our marriage has been a very difficult one to say the least. He has a 23 year old son that dont like me for no reason...thinks I am not good enough for his dad so at any cost has tried to break us up sense day one. My hubby says that he wants it to be over cause of the lack of respect my girls show him but yet his own flesh and blood treats him like he is a dog and uses him every chance he gets. I feel like my hubby has turned into dr jekel and mr hyde. He told me yesterday that he just didnt want to be married anymore then flew to florida for 4 days to be with his son. I am so hurt, angry, confussed like why all of a sudden is he the only one thats gets to have a say so in what happens to our future? He tells me that he dont want to feel things he dont want to feel anymore. I just dont understand where everyting went so wrong. does anyone have any advise? please help!


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

I think your H needs to be more honest with you about what he is thinking. you need to get him to open up some how. That line he fed you about supporting him is a bunch of bull. he's just trying to make excuses for treating you and your kids like crap. dont allow that. tell him to start talking or to take a walk.


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## Anonymous Fella (Aug 3, 2009)

I don't want to take either side, so, here goes:

You might consider his feeling different and acting different as a sign of some medical condition. Does depression or other chemical imbalances run in his family? Maybe he feels out numbered in the house. You have two children (in the house?) while he has one (in another state?).

But, at the same time, don't let him fool you if nothing is wrong. After dealing with my family, I understand some people were just born to manipulate. Your children could tell you why they dislike him so much, maybe it is somewhat founded? Just bear in mind, their opinions could be a bit bias.

In my opinion, I would push to see if some underlying medical condition is to blame. Next, I would discuss with him some of your thoughts ( I would also implore you to do so when the house is empty. It would allow him to let his guard down, and therefore, uncover any deep issues that have developed.) It's a possibility it has nothing to do with you or your kids.

Hope that points you in the general direction.


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