# My suspicions were right!



## lala (Jun 4, 2011)

Ok, I've posted on here before about I think my husband might be cheating on me. Well, he told me this morning that he had a confession to make. He swears up and down that he never slept with this girl but he said that he was haning out with her for like a month behind my back. He says he just picked her up from her house and they would go to the bar together or go to the beach and hang out. But I don't know if I believe the part that they never had sex because he knew where she lived at and he said he would go to her house sometimes and he even met her family. So I don't know what to believe. 

He never told her he was married, and she went through his phone one day and saw all the text messages from me and confroted him and she asked him if he was married and he said yes. He said she flipped out, went psycho on his a*s and she told him she never wanted to hang out with him again so thats why he wanted to come clean to me and tell me what happened.

But the thing I feel most embarresed about is that his friends knew about this "affair" he was having. It makes me look like an idiot. A couple weekends ago I wasn't feeling good and my H and a lot of his friends had been planning to go to the beach, so I declined and told him I was going to stay home and rest after working all week long and I had some chores to do around the house anyway. Well, he told me that he brought the other chick instead since I didn't go and now all his friends have met her and I feel dumb!

Should I divorce him over this or just take his word that they were just hanging out as friends and they never did anything together?


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## Lon (Jun 6, 2011)

Lala that must have hurt to find your suspicions come true. Others on here have talked about "trickle-truth" in other words your H is probably only telling you the tip of the iceberg... brace your self for the worst case because most of us on here have experienced it in textbook style. As to his friends, they likely knew what was up if he was bringing some other woman/girl... or would have razzed the truth from him soon enough. Maybe he decided to "confide" in you (I use the term loosely because I doubt he's being completely honest, cheaters never are) because one or more friends were telling him he should? If not and his friends are fine with everything then they are losers who have no morals.

I know how that feels too, my W's friends all know what she was doing behind my back and none of them, even the one who does give me the goods now and thinks she is insane, still didn't come forth with that info. It really sucks to be the last one to know, and to realize that they enabled the destruction of our marriage and family. Worse, they are getting their kicks by living vicariously through their "friend". Humans can be pretty twisted... though before all this if I'd found out about a friend's infidelity I'm not sure what I would have done either - at this point I do though, no way I'd watch someone I love going down this path.


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## TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore (Apr 7, 2011)

Yes, prepare yourself for those “trickling truths”. They suck, but are very real.

I understand the “being embarrassed” part also. I later learned a few individuals were privy to the knowledge of my ex-husband's affair. I did not know these 4 or so acquaintances that well because his connection to them was through his work. However I still felt embarrassed, good gossip travels pretty darn fast.

Whatever your decision is regarding your marriage, it's going to be a roller coaster ride for a little while. Take care and hang in there!


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry your suspicions were on target. I know how hard it is to sort everything out at this point. Your husband is putting a spin on his affair. And I also think the only reason your husband presented his version of the affair is because he is scared to death the other woman is going to call you. Think "iceberg". You are only getting the part seen on the surface. There's a lot more you aren't seeing beneath the surface.

I'm really glad to hear a story where the other woman discovered a man was married and dropped the hammer on him. Good for her! You may want to give her a call, and see if she will tell you anything. You might get the whole story then.


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## WhereAmI (Nov 3, 2010)

I agree, call her! I'd probably also phone his friends wives and ask them to talk to their H's about what they know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oaksthorne (Mar 4, 2011)

WhereAmI said:


> I agree, call her! I'd probably also phone his friends wives and ask them to talk to their H's about what they know.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


She is a rare bird this day and age. My H's skank knew full well that he we married. When he told her that I knew and it was over,she suggested that they continue the A but lie to me about it. I got: 1. it's just a flirtation nothing happened; 2. We had sex, but only that one time and that was an accident; 3. we had an orgy for three days and I knew it was going to happen before I went because she asked me to arrange for one room for us both. ; 4. it was a nine month A with as much sex as could be arranged , complete with the hundreds of lies told to keep me in the dark, and BTW I always loved you. It hurts every time the story changes. I would call her and ask her. It will help you if you don't have to suffer through trickle truth.


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## the guy (Aug 3, 2010)

Stop looking at your self as stupid and embarressed, but rather how weak and selfish your H is. Always remember your H is the bad guy here and his friend should be reminded as such. He is an adultor. 

Tell your H your setting up a polygraph test, see what his response is. In fact demand he take it if you want to stay together.


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## Pit-of-my-stomach (Nov 2, 2010)

he was scared u were going to find out. 

This wasn't his conscience that made him tell you. 

Bet the psycho fit the OW threw included "Im going to tell your wife everything you asshat!!"...

Telling you was protecting himself, nothing to do with guilt.


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