# Cheated on hard and still healing



## mikegee (Jun 10, 2010)

I was married in 2004. My wife and I went through our trials and tribulations in the fall of 2008. My wife had cheated on me with someone she works with. It was a one time occurrence but it destroyed us and I could not even look at her. 

I felt we had an excellent marriage and then one night while going to bed she told me and then I asked her for more detail. She explained how she had had too much to drink and then found herself in engaging in some very passionate sexual activity. She was crying at that point so I figured that she was very sorry for doing it. I felt sick to my stomach and very angry. 

We got into a series of terrible arguments and the mention of our lack of prenup even arose a few times. She would rub it in my face that we didnt do one and if I divorced her she would take the house I purchased. 

I was banging my head against the wall regretting I didnt do one since we felt we were so much in love and nothing could break us apart. We continued living together for a few weeks, not speaking to each other much and then she moved out with a female friend. 

I was devastated and then realized that this lack of judgement could be forgiven. It was really me who had let my emotions interfere with my judgement as well and she was obviously very upset about what had happened. The fact she was upset was showing me in itself that she loved me and did in fact care. I invited her out for dinner and we ended up laughing about it and I felt strong to be able to turn it into good humor with her. We then went back to our house and our love ignited into flame, it was incredible. 

Our marriage has grown stronger since and we are actually glad that she had that experience. It showed her that she really loved me and sometimes you do need a shock to the heart to get things going. There is nothing to feel ashamed about when things like this happen and it is actually a great thing to come out of it strong, learning from your mistakes. 

We love each other very much to this day and we are currently going through other challenges which are equally as tough, but we are getting through it even better and with more communication than when she cheated on me.

I hope you're able to gather some strength from my experience if you're having a tough time with your marriage. There is always light at the end of the tunnel if you start the healing with yourself and forgiveness.

-MG


----------



## Advocado (Feb 24, 2010)

Thanks for sharing and glad to know it all worked out for you both. 

I'm sure it helped that you heard it from her rather than having a prolonged period of suspicion, snooping or finding out from someone else.


----------



## notreadytoquit (Jan 11, 2010)

I wish my H was that forthcoming and willing to actually address the real problems rather than give me a story of how unhappy he was but never actually showed or said anything about it. Good luck to both of you!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Runawaytrain (Jun 7, 2010)

My H told me that he would never of told me. He said, "Why would I put you through that?". "Why would I want to hurt you like that?" It would be a lot easier if he had though. Finding out from the other woman made the cut even deeper.


----------



## mikegee (Jun 10, 2010)

Advocado said:


> Thanks for sharing and glad to know it all worked out for you both.
> 
> I'm sure it helped that you heard it from her rather than having a prolonged period of suspicion, snooping or finding out from someone else.


Hi Avo,

Thanks for your support. I abbreviated my story considerably, but I actually did have that long period of suspicion unfortunately. It was the most nerve racking thing I've ever gone through. I wish I'd had the courage to confront her sooner. It was actually relieving for a few moments to know the truth. I was most afraid of biting the bullet after that, but it was the period of not knowing before that sucked the hardest!

Please anybody reading this, don't lie to yourself! Ask questions and trust your instincts.


----------



## mikegee (Jun 10, 2010)

notreadytoquit said:


> I wish my H was that forthcoming and willing to actually address the real problems rather than give me a story of how unhappy he was but never actually showed or said anything about it. Good luck to both of you!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hi notreadytoquit,

How are things going for you now? I love name, that's the number one rule for me actually. Stay committed no matter what. That's what keeps people together. It helps to have a good companion too. But hopefully you spend a good deal of time before you get married to make sure you get that as part of the deal. As I've discovered though, you really do never know exactly what you're going to get.


----------



## mikegee (Jun 10, 2010)

Runawaytrain said:


> My H told me that he would never of told me. He said, "Why would I put you through that?". "Why would I want to hurt you like that?" It would be a lot easier if he had though. Finding out from the other woman made the cut even deeper.


owww, I feel your pain. Thank god I didn't have to go through that. I wish you the best. This is no picnic, it takes work and for me the hardest thing is being honest with myself.

MG


----------

