# MAD



## MeetVirginia (Feb 17, 2012)

We have been seperated now 2 months. We have been on "dates" we are each going to IC and we go to MC together and I am really trying. There has been no EMA, but I have talked to other people on other sites who are in similar situations; yes some are men. It is nice to have different perspectives.....at some point he spied on me (never tried to hide anything bc i didnt need to) and it did make me mad, but i tried to not let it bother me. He took it as I was talking to "other men", and because he wouldnt tell me "how he knew" I wouldnt give him any details (not that there are any) and now, any time I am going out (even though we are not living together) I feel like he is spying on me. He askes me who im going with, when im coming home, etc., etc. I am REALLY mad about this! I would never spy on him, I believe that even married people have the right to privacy. I am really trying to work on things with him and this makes me want to RUN fast and FAR!!!! WTF???


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## justabovewater (Jun 26, 2011)

I may be the only one with this opinion, but I think there needs to be total transparency in a relationship, especially if there has been an EA or PA, which I know you say there hasn't been. Has trust been broken between you two, is that were this might be stemming from? I just think in this technological age, its too tempting and too easy to stray. I come fromaplace where I've experienced the damage an "innocent" online "friendship" can cause and it ain't pretty.


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## Mamatomany (Jan 10, 2012)

justabovewater said:


> I may be the only one with this opinion, but I think there needs to be total transparency in a relationship, especially if there has been an EA or PA, which I know you say there hasn't been. Has trust been broken between you two, is that were this might be stemming from? I just think in this technological age, its too tempting and too easy to stray. I come fromaplace where I've experienced the damage an "innocent" online "friendship" can cause and it ain't pretty.


I am w/ you on this. Even w/o an EA/PA if trust is broken you need to be sure that everyone feels secure in the relationship and not be defensice by keeping 'privacy.' 

Transparency will be a deal breaker for me in all romantic ltr relationships.


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## MeetVirginia (Feb 17, 2012)

I guess you could say trust has been broken.....I think he broke it. I told him for years that I was unhappy, with no response or change from him. So I found some online support. Groups of people with ADHD/bipolar kids and marriage problems, etc., and with him spying on me I really feel like a child


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## 2nd_t!me iz_best (Feb 28, 2011)

Mamatomany said:


> I am w/ you on this. Even w/o an EA/PA if trust is broken you need to be sure that everyone feels secure in the relationship and not be defensice by keeping 'privacy.'
> 
> Transparency will be a deal breaker for me in all romantic ltr relationships.


same as i feel.
in an LTR you should be hiding nothing and completely willing to give or show all to help make your SO feel very secure in that.


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