# Wife moved out and need help coping.



## juice73 (Jun 18, 2012)

Wow, I can't believe I am writing this, but very happy to have found this site. 

I will try to give as much background and info that I can. We have been married for 10 years together 13. The first 7 years of the relationship was amazing for both of us. Around that time I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and went into a pretty bad depression and ignored my wife for a few years. I was there physically but not emotionally for my wife. After I think 3 years she finally threw me out of the house and I went to counciling to move past the disease and except it, which I have. And we got back together after only 3 weeks apart and the relationship was going excellent or so I thought.

MS has slowed me down a little. Doctor does not want me working full time and am on disability. And this is where one of the big problems comes in. I made a promise to my wife that i would not let us struggle financially and do whatever I had to do to make sure we would be ok. She does very well with her job and once I was forced to stop working full time my contribution went in the tank. I was only working 8 hours a week and went back to college full time to learn a new career that would get me off my feet. My wife is really hurt and angry at with me for not working a few more hours per week and maximizing the hours I could have worked and pulled in more money. Physically I can work some more hours and bring more to the table financially, which I am doing now.

Another problem we have is my mother. Without going into deep details my wife hates my mother, and I am pretty sure my mother is not a fan of my wife or very jealous of my wife. My mother has said some very bad things about my wife and I will be having what I believe will be a relationship changing conversation with my mother this week about how much she has interfeered in my relationships and hurt them.

We do not have any children together, as she can not have kids. We are the best of friends and still are even after she moved out. She is my world, and that is a huge issue for her. She feels I have put way to much pressure on her. I have lost contact with many of my friends as all I wanted was to be with my wife. I know realize how unhealthy this is and have reached out to a couple of friends and that is going well so far.

I want nothing more than to get back together with my wife. She moved out a little over a week ago, and we have seen each other a few times since then. We have hugged and kissed a little but I am dieing inside, all I want to do is be with her.

She has told me I am still her husband and that our relationship is not over. She has said that she needs to clear her head, and give her space to miss me. She has also said that she needs to see changes in me of we are going to be back together.

I am just having such a hard time not calling or texting her. She is all I am thinking about all the time and it is so unhealthy. I do still see a counceler weekly. I know this was long and all over the place, but thanks for reading.


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## jdlash (Jun 18, 2012)

It's been 10 days since my wife left me. I started a thread and was directed to these 2 topics. 1 fitness test. the other is here. Maybe they will help. They opened my eyes quite a bit! Hang in there and most imporant from what I'm learning-Give her some space.


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## juice73 (Jun 18, 2012)

Thanks for the links. I read through them and while I know the information in there is excellent, damn is it hard to start doing.

I really do not want to let her go, but I am afraid I have no choice. She means the world to me and just want to talk with her. But I will hold back from calling or texting. God I hope this starts to get easier soon, it's tearing me up inside.


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## MyselfAgain (Apr 21, 2012)

It will get easier, I promise. It isn't fun, but the more you learn about yourself and your situation, the more you grow, the better off you will be in the long run. Stick around, keep posting, and get to know us. We are likely just like you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ku1980rose (Sep 7, 2010)

I am separating from my h and I can tell you that calling and texting and facebooking just pushes me even further away. Just something to think about. Good luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## juice73 (Jun 18, 2012)

Ku, let me ask you this. I agree with you that I need to not text, call or facebook her, but what about her contacting me? She generally will at least text or call me daily just to talk and see what's going on and she always asks how I am doing. While I try to lie and say i'm doing well she can hear right through my words that I am not. She keeps telling me she is not sure if we are over or not. I think the best thing I can do is just give her space and work on my issues to improve myself and see what happens.


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## samyeagar (May 14, 2012)

A few thingss I see here. I think she may be calling and checking up on you to ease her own conscience and not out of any real concern. I am not convinced either that the biggest issue is you not working enough. What else is going on?


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## juice73 (Jun 18, 2012)

Samy I have been that Mr. Nice guy I have been reading about here. Over the last few years I have been the one always initiating contact and talking about our emotions and feelings. I smothered her a lot, but I had no clue I was doing it. I neglected my friends and made her the center of my world. Always wanting to be doing things for/with her. What I am noticing is if I stop and pull back some she will come to me. Her mother has tried telling me this and for some reason I did not listen. I am trying now, with some success to pull back and give space.


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