# Depressed wife sinking further



## Roxx (May 26, 2012)

My wife of 15 years has been battling with depression for years. However, it is never been diagnosed - and until recently - I didn't even realize it was going on. (at least, not at this severity) My wife doesn't want to be medicated or get any therapy. She was belittled by her father when she when to a counselor as a teen and she won't go back now.

Yesterday - she lost her job. So in addition to her lack of self esteem, obsession with her appearance, and feelings of exclusion - now she feels like a failure as well. She constantly complains that she hates her life and can't do the things she wants to do because of me and the kids. In addition to encouraging therapy, I'm also constantly encouraging her to go do whatever she needs to do to be happy - even if that means leaving me and the kids behind....but she always has an excuse why that's not realistic. (the real reason is that we offer her the only stability she has in her life - despite her complaints).

I've come to terms with my situation. Although I love my wife, I'm confident with who I am and could take care of the kids and myself without her....in many ways I already do. But the kids love her dearly and would be devastated if she left. I do my best to keep our home life happy and their mother rational so they can be stronger people when they are grown up. If I were to leave her, I am confident she would plunge into deep depression and I worry she would become suicidal. (no friends/family nearby, no job, no money, no credit) This would be devastating to the kids and me in many ways too.

How do I get her to go to counselling?


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## Mavash. (Jan 26, 2012)

Roxx said:


> How do I get her to go to counselling?


You don't. Until her life becomes painful enough she won't go. The pain of her life has to be GREATER than the pain of facing her demons in therapy.

The more you keep her propped up the more you prolong this process.


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