# The multi-orgasm catch-22



## Jeapordy (Aug 12, 2012)

My wife can have 4 or more orgasms in one session. I usually give her oral or use my fingers for the first one. Then during sex she can have 2 or more vaginal orgasms. I like being able to give her these.
The issue is that with each orgasm, she is less tight for me. So it is a catch 22 (this was brought up by 40isthenew20 in another thread but I didn't want to hijack it). So for my selfish needs, I would not allow her to orgasm, until I was inside, and we would orgasm together. But then she would only have 1. She usually doesn't want any more if I cum and she has had a least 1.
Also, if I ignore the urge to orgasm (i.e. stop or pull out), then I can keep going, but it gets progressively harder to have one, and she gets progressively looser with each orgasm. 
I can attend to my needs and deprive her, or I can attend to her needs which means less pleasure for me. For me, a 5-10 minute session ending in an orgasm is more pleasurable than a 30 minute session where she has multiple, and I have a difficult time finishing and the 10 minute finish would have been more satisfying for me than the 30 minute finish. 
So my question is, how many orgasms are enough for a woman. Are you satisfied with 1, or is more better? Is quick sex good, or are you disappointed if penetration doesn't last more than 10 minutes? Should I worry about my needs first or make sure she is satisfied first?


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## SunnyT (Jun 22, 2011)

1 orgasm is awesome... more than one is awesomer! So take turns, do it her way one time and your way the next time. It still is fun, it still feels good for both of you, you both still get an orgasm....win win.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

My wife says the same thing - cum when you're ready and I'm good with what I already had. I'm lucky in a way because she can always cum from oral or fingers/vibrator and cums quickly when we start intercourse. She likes it hard and fast so I begin that way. This is when I should just let it go but my stupid macho pride tells me to give her one more before it's done.


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## Jane_Doe (Aug 9, 2012)

The more the merrier, for me. If she's happy ending sex after you've cum, even if she only gets one, then it's not 'depriving' her. If she wanted more orgasms, you two could figure something out for after you've finished.


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## cloudwithleggs (Oct 13, 2011)

Doesn't sound like true orgasm if she is getting looser, i couldn't imagine that, as each orgasm builds it should get tighter and tighter, once orgasm is reach then it is waves of vaginal restriction that last quite a while, there is a period of rest, which then the vagina relaxes.

The penetration time is reasonable, i think 30 mins is a long time to be at it.

For me i like to have least cum twice, i could do that in a 5 min period easy with penetration, i don't see why, but i also like to be teased so cuming once maybe both together is also fine, if this has happen there is a longer wait time for male recovery, but most men can go again, can't they  i normally give oral to help recovery times


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## wiigirl (Jun 14, 2012)

SunnyT said:


> 1 orgasm is awesome... more than one is awesomer! So take turns, do it her way one time and your way the next time. It still is fun, it still feels good for both of you, you both still get an orgasm....win win.


:iagree:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kingsfan (Jun 4, 2012)

The number of orgasms that are enough for a woman is up to the woman you're with. You sound like a very giving lover, so tell her your issue and let her decide, while making sure from time to time its also about you and your needs. Frankly it sounds like you both are happy, so this is something a 5 minute conversation can likely address.


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## Chris Taylor (Jul 22, 2010)

Why can't you change to a "tighter" position? For example, we will be in the missionary position and my legs will shift to outside hers and she will squeeze her thighs together and get real tight for another orgasm.


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## donny64 (Apr 21, 2012)

May have nothing to do with "looser", but rather wetter, decreasing friction? That's how it is with my W. And it can be hard to complete for me as a result every now and then. More than once I've stopped without getting mine. And I don't care. She has my back! She'll do something else for me, or we'll have a quickie the following norning. For me the visions and sensations of her having continuing multiples or a "continuous" orgasm are just simply too much to resist, and I always aim to get her there! So incredibly fun! I've certainly not suffered as a result!  She will later go out of her way to please me. 

Try changing positions. Doggie is "tighter". Or put her legs together after she has a few. There are ways around this! Don't give up on the multiples!!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gbrad (Jul 20, 2010)

Multiple, nice. I'm lucky if she even has one. I swear she is too caught up on trying to get pregnant to let her self enjoy it fully. In the earlier years of the marriage when having children was not a stress she had orgasms more often, not now.


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## Madman1 (Oct 24, 2012)

One and done, two if shes horny.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

Jeapordy said:


> My wife can have 4 or more orgasms in one session. I usually give her oral or use my fingers for the first one. Then during sex she can have 2 or more vaginal orgasms. I like being able to give her these.
> The issue is that with each orgasm, she is less tight for me. So it is a catch 22 (this was brought up by 40isthenew20 in another thread but I didn't want to hijack it). So for my selfish needs, I would not allow her to orgasm, until I was inside, and we would orgasm together. But then she would only have 1. She usually doesn't want any more if I cum and she has had a least 1.
> Also, if I ignore the urge to orgasm (i.e. stop or pull out), then I can keep going, but it gets progressively harder to have one, and she gets progressively looser with each orgasm.
> I can attend to my needs and deprive her, or I can attend to her needs which means less pleasure for me. For me, a 5-10 minute session ending in an orgasm is more pleasurable than a 30 minute session where she has multiple, and I have a difficult time finishing and the 10 minute finish would have been more satisfying for me than the 30 minute finish.
> So my question is, how many orgasms are enough for a woman. Are you satisfied with 1, or is more better? Is quick sex good, or are you disappointed if penetration doesn't last more than 10 minutes? Should I worry about my needs first or make sure she is satisfied first?


I'm not sure where the catch 22 is. Why not help her achieve two orgasms through oral/fingering before vaginal sex, and that way you both can cum together during vaginal for her next one (or however many she has during the time it takes you to cum).

Also, as mentioned above, are you sure you're not confusing "looser" for wetter?


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## Zatol Ugot? (Mar 5, 2012)

I would give almost anything if my wife were multi-orgasmic. I would enjoy giving those to her almost as much as my own orgasm. In truth, that is where I have most of my fun, seeing my wife enjoy herself and lose herself in the erotic moment.


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

I can relate. I have noticed the same thing over the years. No, I am definately not confusing wetter for tighter either. It is wetter for sure, but that's not all. I mean....once the bed has a wet spot about 2 feet wide, she has had multiple orgasms....All tightness is gone....and there is no pleasure for me via normal sex. It's like I feel nothing there. I usually try it for a bit and she ends up finshing me with her hand. It's ok though. When we do this she has had a marveolous time....and I love that too!


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## OhhShiney (Apr 8, 2011)

Zatol Ugot? said:


> …
> In truth, that is where I have most of my fun, seeing my wife enjoy herself and lose herself in the erotic moment.


Yes! Yes!

I LOVE enjoying my wife's orgasm. There is nothing more exciting to me than seeing her come, especially if I've had a hand in it. 

My ex got tighter after an O, sometimes becoming so sensitive I had to stop penetration. It took a while before she was ready for any more and for the lubrication to start up again, and she never had multiple Os. (she would also demand *immediate* O:O reciprocation, sometimes before I finished finishing). 

My wife also gets a bit tighter after finishing. I LOVE to stay put as she finishes -- nothing like feeling the pulses -- and to then continue afterwards. And she can keep going for several minutes. I'd guess that would be defined as multiple? She nearly passes out after going through several minutes of pleasure. I love to be there for the ride. 

She's also shown me it's OK to go ahead and finish sooner rather than later. I used to be so afraid of finishing with my ex that I got good at holding things off (30-40 minutes +) before finishing. This was NOT an issue for me when I was younger, but now, if I hold off finishing when I first feel the urges, it may be impossible to finish during that session. My wife had to convince me that it was OK to finish in under 10 minutes, that nobody was holding up a stopwatch, and that it was OK to just enjoy myself. We reciprocate on a leisurely schedule. 

Sex is more fun without any worries about reciprocating, counting orgasms, or pressure to perform. Believe me, as you age and things like rock-hard endless erections and copious female lubrication begin to fade -- the less pressure you put on yourself or your partner, the more pleasure you will have overall.


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## TCSRedhead (Oct 17, 2012)

So... just a thought... try purchasing some nice ben wa balls and see if she'll wear them. By wearing them around, they do stimulate her erotically but more important, they exercise the vaginal muscles and walls creating a tighter environment.

There are some other natural remedies, like using alum (find it in the spice aisle), honey and water in a douche. This works but I'd advise to go sparingly since it can work a little 'too' well.


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## jaquen (Mar 1, 2012)

youkiddingme said:


> I can relate. I have noticed the same thing over the years. No, I am definately not confusing wetter for tighter either. It is wetter for sure, but that's not all. I mean....once the bed has a wet spot about 2 feet wide, she has had multiple orgasms....All tightness is gone....and there is no pleasure for me via normal sex. It's like I feel nothing there. I usually try it for a bit and she ends up finshing me with her hand. It's ok though. When we do this she has had a marveolous time....and I love that too!


Time to incorporate anal.

That's your ever tight best friend.


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## youkiddingme (Jul 30, 2012)

TCSred, you know I have tried for years to interest her in kegels. just won't do it. So I bought the ben wa balls. She used them a couple of times and put them away. Crap. I know it's a touchy, personal subject....so I don't want to offend or push too hard. But dang. It seems to me that a little bit of effort could make a huge difference for me. Oh well.


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## 40isthenew20 (Jul 12, 2012)

youkiddingme said:


> TCSred, you know I have tried for years to interest her in kegels. just won't do it. So I bought the ben wa balls. She used them a couple of times and put them away. Crap. I know it's a touchy, personal subject....so I don't want to offend or push too hard. But dang. It seems to me that a little bit of effort could make a huge difference for me. Oh well.


I bought my wife Ben wa balls, too, and she hasn't worn them yet. She tried inserting them and they didn't go in easily so she backed off. Ill get her to try again.


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