# I'm the Other Woman



## perkycarrot (Nov 4, 2009)

Not quite sure where to start this post.......

I'm 30. He's 73. This may sound odd to some people, but he's an attractive, thin, older man. He is not at all repulsive to me.

I had grown tired of men my age, and this man has been treating me quite well. Dinners, gifts, and he'd like me to travel with him, as he is an international businessman.

He is married. He has been married for over 50 years to the same woman. He lives here in the states, she lives in London. (he is English)

We have technically been friends, although he has expressed an attraction to me. I must admit that I'm a bit attracted to him as well. His stories are fascinating, and I'm never bored when I am with him.

Recently, he has expressed an interest in taking our friendship to another level. He said that he has not been with his wife in over 30 years, that he married his best friend, but there is no love there. He said she'd be willing to turn her head, as long as nothing is flaunted. He wants to continue our friendship, but he'd like to add affection and romance to it- and he'd like it on a long term basis.

If I agree to this, would this make me a mistress? A girlfriend? I have never considered doing this. Do you think his wife would honestly be accepting of such a situation?

On one hand, I like the idea of being spoiled by someone, on the other hand, my moral side is screaming that it's wrong.

I hope I'm not coming off as offensive to anyone who has had a cheating husband, as that is not my intention.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Why did you post here? Did you want to get a rise out of people? You are offensive. What do you want people to say sure be the OW. Go find some place else. There are people going through pain here that doesn't need to here this B.S.! 

By the way your story is crap.


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## Lostandconfused (Jul 6, 2009)

PC,

A flame is a beautiful thing, is it not? All hot and glowing and gloriously colored from orange, to blue to bright white? It draws us in, makes us feel warm and cozy and we love it, yes?

BUT ... If you put your hand in the flame, you WILL get burned.

Please reconsider. You've already stated that "YOUR" morals are all screaming at you. Only you can decide if this will work for you. Evaluate who you are. What your "core" (cannot live without and what makes you, YOU) values and beliefs are. If, you think you can continue to look in the mirror and admire the person you will become if you take this step, then I'd say, you're good to go and no-one else's opinion matters. If, on the other hand, you will lose self-respect and feel disgust and revulsion for the person you will become, you have your answer. Whether his wife will look the other way or not doesn't enter into the equation here. This is about YOU.

Best of luck to you. I'm betting that because you are here asking, you are of the latter feelings and will NOT feel good about yourself if you go forward.

One more thought, ask yourself how much respect this man has for you to ask you to give of yourself without the commitment. He just wants what HE wants regardless of his wife's acceptance and feelings and yours as well.

Just my $0.02.
Lost


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## perkycarrot (Nov 4, 2009)

I'm sorry you feel that way, and as I said, it is not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings. I haven't read through the threads in this forum, but there is always more than one side to every situation. I have never been with a married man, and I haven't decided if I will be with this one, however, the wife is a big mystery. I don't think the 'other woman' ever thinks about the wife as having feelings, and that's why I posted here.


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

There are no reasons to have an affair with a married man. So yes you have offended me. It does not exonerate you simply because you thought of her feelings. You ever thought that the husband would say sure this would kill my wife, she is deeply in love with me and yes this would be so painful. He's a liar and you are lying to yourself. There are plenty of available men in this world, try picking one of them.


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## chuckf75 (Sep 6, 2009)

AZMOMOFTWO said:


> There are no reasons to have an affair with a married man. So yes you have offended me. It does not exonerate you simply because you thought of her feelings. You ever thought that the husband would say sure this would kill my wife, she is deeply in love with me and yes this would be so painful. He's a liar and you are lying to yourself. There are plenty of available men in this world, try picking one of them.


Give her a break, she has some honest questions and is looking for honest answers. I don't think she is tyring to hurt or offend anyone.

That being said, move on. You don't need a married man, only pain will come of this.


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## Lostandconfused (Jul 6, 2009)

chuckf75 said:


> Give her a break, she has some honest questions and is looking for honest answers. I don't think she is tyring to hurt or offend anyone.
> 
> That being said, move on. You don't need a married man, only pain will come of this.


:iagree:

I can understand AZ's point of view. She's hurting. I encourage AZ to actually hear this woman's question. PC is battling a demon that's bound to destroy her and needs help at this time.

Just my $0.02.
Lost


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## Hopeful&Doubtful (Aug 24, 2008)

You need to put yourself in the shoes of the wife and think how you would feel if that was your husband. I really don't think his wife said it would be okay. You need to walk away and prevent everyone from hurting in the end. Walking away will help him make the right decision.


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## lisakifttherapy (Jul 31, 2007)

Here are some thoughts from a therapist's perspective:

You have a number of considerations that you need to figure out how they sit with you:

1) Is it ok with you to be in a long term "affectionate and romantic" basis with someone who really isn't totally available? If so - I would wonder why you're ok with settling for less than all of another person. What if you fell in love with this man - and he wasn't willing to leave his wife for you? Then what?

2) It's hard to imagine his wife would truly be ok with this scenario so then if that's the case - are you ok with being in this position? As you can tell by some of the responses, this brings up a lot of anger for women who have experienced the flip side of your story.

3) I'm wondering about what's led you to being involved with someone so much older - and married - in the first place. That's a pretty big leap from dating single men around your age. I can't help but wondering if there's more going on with that than what you've stated (that you may not even be aware of).

4) Instincts can be a powerful tool. If you have a moral alarm sounding off in your head - this is something to be carefully considered - as it sounds like you're doing.

Thank you for your courage to bring forth a topic that was bound to elicit a hostile response - especially in the forum section dedicated to relationship recovery after an affair. Like "LostandConfused" said, I agree that you are hurting here and just trying to find your way.

My last advice for you would be to think very carefully about the implications for everyone involved before leaping into what could be a very complicated and hurtful mess.


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## cao428 (Jun 26, 2008)

Very well said Lisa..

I can only add that I agree with AZ that he is probably lying about his wife not caring. I know mine lied to another woman 1/2 his age to try to lure her in...some men will do that. Mine told her I didn't love or care for him, and that I wanted nothing to do with her when I came to visit him overseas.(she was a young student cleaning and doing errands for him while working away from home) The opposite was true on both counts...he told me she went home to visit parents when in fact she was in town and wanted to meet me to try to help with our marriage.

Sorry you got such a response but you struck a few sore nerves! I hope you make the right decision.


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## perkycarrot (Nov 4, 2009)

Thank you for all the responses. I appreciate every posters' point of view. I wanted to get all sides. As I mentioned previously, I don't think the 'other woman' usually does think of the wife as an actual woman with feelings, and that is something I can't help but think about.

Lisa, I have wondered about #3 myself. I am uncertain as to where or why my side of the attraction began. Because I don't wish to offend any of the hurting people in this forum, I am not going to go into all of the reasons why I feel a sort of bond with him, but the reasons are there.

I am still uncertain as to where I am willing to go with this situation, but reading what some of the posters have typed, has definitely made me re-evaluate the situation.


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## 827Aug (Apr 27, 2008)

Everyone seems to have this well covered. You in part answered your own question--you are struggling with the moral issue. If it goes against your morals, don't do it. Next, if you really want want to pursue a relationship with this man, tell him that you will only do so after his divorce.


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## perkycarrot (Nov 4, 2009)

On a smaller note, I did go out to dinner with him the other night. It was friendly. No matter what the outcome will be, I do like him as a person, and will continue the friendship aspect. I noticed that we received some very strange looks from people. It makes me wonder if people think it's a date or if they think I'm his daughter or even his granddaughter. This is the first time I have felt uncomfortable with the glances.


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

chuckf75 said:


> Give her a break, she has some honest questions and is looking for honest answers. I don't think she is tyring to hurt or offend anyone.
> 
> That being said, move on. You don't need a married man, only pain will come of this.


Giver her a break huh would you be saying that if she was doing that in your marriage HELL NO!


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## sunflower (Dec 15, 2008)

perkycarrot said:


> On a smaller note, I did go out to dinner with him the other night. It was friendly. No matter what the outcome will be, I do like him as a person, and will continue the friendship aspect. I noticed that we received some very strange looks from people. It makes me wonder if people think it's a date or if they think I'm his daughter or even his granddaughter. This is the first time I have felt uncomfortable with the glances.



There is no way you can continue on with a friendship when you have both already expressed your feelings for eachother its only a matter of time when it crosses that line. I think that you need to walk away out of respect for yourself. If you have that and sorry not to be mean but it sounds like you dont cause you feel that you have to take over someone elses life. And do you really think that you are the first women he has done this with! your a adult I am suprised you are acting like you are in high school. I have nothing against you your life is yours but obviously your not thinking!


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## Lostandconfused (Jul 6, 2009)

sunflower said:


> Giver her a break huh would you be saying that if she was doing that in your marriage HELL NO!


Sunflower, 

Please take this with the best of intentions on my part. I'm not scolding, just giving my view point. PC is saying that she's STRUGGLING with this decision. That her morals are screaming at her. She hasn't "done" anything yet other than be friends with this man. HE's the one who has done wrong at this point. She's just here asking for opinions.

I realize it's easy (as it is for me too) to get angry at ANYONE who even gives the "appearance" of interefering in a marriage because we've been so hurt but for now, she's just questioning what she should do and she's leaning the right direction ... away from this man who cares for NO-ONE but himself.

So yes, give this girl a break and let her seek help. We know she needs it. She knows she needs it. I remember standing up for you too when you were flirting with that co-worker. We ALL make mistakes. We ALL need forgiveness and encouragement to make good decisions. [smiles]

Just my $0.02.
Lost


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## manchild (Nov 9, 2009)

perkycarrot said:


> On a smaller note, I did go out to dinner with him the other night. It was friendly. No matter what the outcome will be, I do like him as a person, and will continue the friendship aspect. I noticed that we received some very strange looks from people. It makes me wonder if people think it's a date or if they think I'm his daughter or even his granddaughter. This is the first time I have felt uncomfortable with the glances.



PC, as a man my question is why do you seek the company of someone so much outside your emotional realm?

I'll just bypass the obvious "father figure" reasons and ask if you think that in the long run is a relationship of this nature sustainable?

of all the relationships I have known the ones that work best are between two people who occupy the same generational and emotional space

we all pretty much mature at the same rate so you being with someone 50 years your senior must make you not feel fully comfortable with what is happening

perhaps that is why you now are noticing the glances, before when you didn't think about any of this nor question its efficacy you didn't notice the stares, now that you do and perhaps question it now those stares are more apparent


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## AZMOMOFTWO (Jun 30, 2008)

Lostandconfused said:


> Sunflower,
> 
> Please take this with the best of intentions on my part. I'm not scolding, just giving my view point. PC is saying that she's STRUGGLING with this decision. That her morals are screaming at her. She hasn't "done" anything yet other than be friends with this man. HE's the one who has done wrong at this point. She's just here asking for opinions.
> 
> ...


I have the same reaction as Sunflower. After all, what title did this woman use for her post "I'm the other woman" what she is doing presently is having an EA with this married man. This is why she calls herself the other woman. She is not asking for forgiveness, seems to me she wants people to validate that its ok to have an affair. She has already hurt this man's wife. So you put yourself in to this man's wife's shoes..You are 70 and your H goes out and has an EA and then thinking about sleeping with a 30 year old. Do you think "I should give her a break?". No you would probably want to break her if you could. 

I can pretty much guarantee those of us with a cheating spouse, that spouse gave some story to the OW. I'm sure mine told her that I didn't give him enough attention, I was not in to him anymore, we were going to get a divorce...whatever. He admits to lying to her, telling her everything he needed to keep her around. The OW felt like she could take my life over, my house, my kids. HE gave her that idea. So perkycat...interesting a cat is a hunter...you think this guy is telling the truth? If so, then why don't you just check that out with his wife. If she gives you the thumbs up, go for it!

I will commend PC for one thing, her morals are screaming at her to stop! So listen to them. Do the right thing. Frankly, even if he were not married you have no future with him. Perhaps if you understood what it was about him that fulfills the need you have, you can then move on to a relationship that is both healthy and right for you. I truly do wish you the best of luck.


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## Lostandconfused (Jul 6, 2009)

AZMOMOFTWO said:


> I have the same reaction as Sunflower. After all, what title did this woman use for her post "I'm the other woman" what she is doing presently is having an EA with this married man. This is why she calls herself the other woman. She is not asking for forgiveness, seems to me she wants people to validate that its ok to have an affair. She has already hurt this man's wife. So you put yourself in to this man's wife's shoes..You are 70 and your H goes out and has an EA and then thinking about sleeping with a 30 year old. Do you think "I should give her a break?". No you would probably want to break her if you could.
> 
> I can pretty much guarantee those of us with a cheating spouse, that spouse gave some story to the OW. I'm sure mine told her that I didn't give him enough attention, I was not in to him anymore, we were going to get a divorce...whatever. He admits to lying to her, telling her everything he needed to keep her around. The OW felt like she could take my life over, my house, my kids. HE gave her that idea. So perkycat...interesting a cat is a hunter...you think this guy is telling the truth? If so, then why don't you just check that out with his wife. If she gives you the thumbs up, go for it!
> 
> I will commend PC for one thing, her morals are screaming at her to stop! So listen to them. Do the right thing. Frankly, even if he were not married you have no future with him. Perhaps if you understood what it was about him that fulfills the need you have, you can then move on to a relationship that is both healthy and right for you. I truly do wish you the best of luck.


AZ, I have been in this wife's shoes both with my husband's PA and multiple EA's. Thank YOU. I still say "give her a break". She's here because she's questioning whether she should go forward. I don't think she's looking for validation, but that is MY opinion. 

Not everything in life has to be faced with anger because I've been hurt. I can still have compassion for others that are on the verge of making a mistake and hopefully that compassion will help them step away from it.

Just my $0.02.
Lost


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Depends upon what exactly you are looking for.

If you want a relationship that:

- revolves around lies (He's lying to his wife. He will lie to you. He will lie _about_you. You aren't the first. You may not even be the only one ... think about that)
- won't ever be out in the open
- won't be accepted by friends, family
- will ALWAYS generate stares and conversation (people will wonder how much he is paying for your company - or, 'isn't it odd the way that man is looking at his daughter?')
- ultimately, nothing positive will come of it - although you may get to do some cool traveling and shopping.
- Yes, in kind terms it makes you a misstress. In less kind terms it makes you something else.

Were he not married, your circumstance would probably still appear odd to many people. But under the circumstances you outline? No good comes of it. I don't doubt that it sounds exciting - even better if you actually find him attractive. But despite the opportunity to be pampered and showcased - your relationship will never amount to much substance. 

I will also tell you that I'm not saying any of this with 'tone'. I'm not angry about your post. You asked for advice. This is my advice. It is brilliant and wise advice - that given the very nature of your circumstances? You probably won't take.


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## floweredteacup (Aug 12, 2009)

Hate to break it to you like this, BUT...He thinks you are stupid!! This man is 73 yo!!! He has this game down to a science! He has been around the block more than twice AND he is a world traveler!?!
There isn't nothing new under the sun for him. He knows what story to tell your age group,(cause he's lived it and probably raise children to that age)! Then he is going to throw is wife in the mix like she doesn't love him? PUH-LEEZ!! He has been using that line since 1966! He knows what to do and what to say to young girls... treat them like a DADDY! Don't touch that man! I know it is hard to find one your age who is attentive,and willing to do what his old a** will do. But he is out there. Don't be anyones SLOPPY SECONDS! You deserve the best with NO attachments, I meant wife! And the moral issue....don't send your a** to Hell with some "old player" who got a prescription for Viagra! There are TONS of SINGLE or WIDOWED men from 30 to 70!


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## perkycarrot (Nov 4, 2009)

I am going to post this from my point of view- without making mention of his relationship with his wife.

At his age, I don't really think he'd have the stamina to be a player anymore. He wants a long term girlfriend.

As far as sloppy seconds, and finding an unattached man my own age.......I'm not sure how to respond. I'm aware. I also know that I'm extremely conflicted and confused. On one hand, I am shocked that I'd ever consider someone married as well as elderly. It shocks me. On the other hand, being with him, makes me happy. We're still friends. I did see him last night. He has such a gentle, nurturing way about him.

Again, I apologize if anything I have said has offended anyone. I'd like to share more of my side, but I'm going to refrain-as not to anger anyone.

As far as things in my past are concerned, I had a normal childhood. My parents are still together. We've always been financially privileged. I have a brother who will be getting married soon. My parents never punished. They are a bit controlling, but that's the only fault I can find with them.
I don't think my friendship with this man stems from anything to do with my family life.

My former relationships with men have all been normal. The youngest I dated (recently) was 23, the oldest, 36. Although I have been engaged, I usually date for fun. I haven't really wanted a LTR until recently.


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

So what is it that _you_ want?


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

perkycarrot said:


> At his age, I don't really think he'd have the stamina to be a player anymore. He wants a long term girlfriend.


he's got you and his wife, and who knows who else. i think that constitutes being a player.


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## frozensprouts (Aug 1, 2009)

Perkycarrot,
I don't want to sound vicious towards you, but I have to say that I don't really understand where the conflict lies. You would be seeing a married man. You know that's wrong, and yet you come here seeming to seek validation for your actions? ( It almost seems as if you are hoping someone will say what you are doing is okay, but it's not. And based on what you say, you already know that- what is it you are hoping to hear?). There is a whole world of single guys out there, and yet you chose to focus your attention on this married man? This is not ' an accident" or " I never meant for this to happen". While you can't help how you feel, you certainly aren't exactly doing anything to stop these feelings ( why , if you know seeing him romantically would be wrong, are you still "friends; with him? Why are you going out for dinner with him?) Developing this attraction may have been accidental, the actions you choose to take now are not.
That line of " my wife would be okay with this" is the oldest line in the book- used by nearly every cheating man. But I ask you to put yourself in her place. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? It sounds like he wants to "have his cake and eat it too", and in the end you'll end up being hurt, she'll end up being hurt and the only one who will be happy is him. 
But YOU are responsible for the choices you make. Yes, he is married and he should not be asking you to "date" him, but you know he's married, and you have to be responsible for the decisions that you make- he's not forcing you into anything or telling you he's single. You know the situation, so I would suggest you do what you know in your heart is right. Yes, what he is doing is wrong, but if you start a romance with him, then you will knowingly be doing something wrong too- and I'm sorry, but your reason of " wanting to be pampered and spoiled" by him doesn't fly as an excuse for doing something wrong-if you are a decent and moral person, no amount of "spoiling" will ever make you feel good about yourself. Please remember- yes, we are all entitled to happiness, but not at the expense of someone else's happiness. If you still persue this relationship, knowing that it's wrong and that you are hurting someone who never had a choice or say in the matter ( his wife) then please don't look for sympathy- you wouldn't ( at least to me) deserve any. It may be hard to let go, as it sounds like you really do have feelings for this guy, but in the long run, you'll be better for it.
If you are a good and decent person, then you deserve better than this relationship- you deserve someone who can be "wholly yours", not just part time. Like I said, it may be painful to let go, but at least you'll be able to look atyourself in the mirror evey day and like who you see.
Best of luck to you!


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## Nekko (Oct 13, 2009)

perkycarrot said:


> He has such a *gentle*, *nurturing* way about him.


Ok, now what does that remind you of? A relationship with who?

I'm going to completely leave aside the fact that he's married, because I simply don't find that important right now. He may be lieing about him being unhappy...or it might be that his wife and him actually even have an agreement to move on with their lives. Doesn't really even matter. 

You are attracted to him, yes, but i doubt it's the atraction you'd have for a lover. Look inside yourself a bit. Also, think a bit ahead, say you went for it and got involved sexually as well...what would you expect from it? How would you see it going along? Are you sure it's not some type of 'he's older and kind of a protective figure' thing? Does he appear safe (like he can't hurt you)? What is it that makes you want him in favour of say..a really good looking young guy?


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## Lostandconfused (Jul 6, 2009)

I'm sorry, everyone can tell her that in "their" opinion it's wrong and all the reasons why she shouldn't do it. The bottom line is that it's HER choice and I'll repeat the following:

Please reconsider. You've already stated that "YOUR" morals are all screaming at you. Only you can decide if this will work for you. Evaluate who you are. What your "core" (cannot live without and what makes you, YOU) values and beliefs are. If, you think you can continue to look in the mirror and admire the person you will become if you take this step, then I'd say, you're good to go and no-one else's opinion matters. If, on the other hand, you will lose self-respect and feel disgust and revulsion for the person you will become, you have your answer. Whether his wife will look the other way or not doesn't enter into the equation here. This is about YOU.​
This IS ultimately about YOU PC! Yes your decision will impact other people but you do not, and nor do most others, make decisions solely upon how it impacts others. I'm not saying that doesn't sway us but we all do what we do because of who WE are and what WE want in the long run. Wanting to do something differently because it has a negative impact on someone else is a direct relfection of who WE are.

Make the decision YOU can live with. Then live with the opinions and attitudes of others towards you based upon that decision. It's simple really. You already know what you desire to do and you already know what you should do. Now, the answer is which matters most to you? Your desire or your conscience? What you choose defines YOU.

Best of luck. I hope you make a decision that you can live with down the road.

Just my $0.02.
Lost


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## perkycarrot (Nov 4, 2009)

I don't know why I am posting this. Perhaps it's because I can remain anonymous? Again, my intention is not to disrespect anyone on this board who has been hurt.

While I did not actually have intercourse with him (that IS what makes it an affair, right? I'm not familiar with EA's and whatnot) we did cross the line, and now I'm terrified. I'm not asking for sympathy or understanding. I did it, and it serves me right. I just never knew I was going to feel such guilt. And I didn't even have actual sex. Thankfully. I don't know what I was or wasn't thinking, or expecting, but I saw another side of this man. We were out in public. He came at me in front of everyone. For two hours, the patrons in the restaurant smiled at the cute, old man with the sexy accent. (someone else's words, not mine) I had WAY too much to drink, and the second we got outside, he was all over me. This bothered me. I felt as though he wanted the younger men to see this, and it made me feel like a puppet. He knew I was uncomfortable and he didn't care.

I'll leave detail out. When he was finished acting like a teenager, he immediately went back to his gentle ways. Until that episode, I didn't realize that he had been treating me like a child. Now I realize that is exactly how he treats me, and I don't like it. He actually coos at me and shushes me when he doesn't want to listen to me speak. I mean literally puts his fingers over my mouth, and makes the shush noise.

I am also ashamed to admit that I gave it another go the next night.

Now, I don't know what to do. I'm terrified. I want to end it. He has completely changed. He is acting all desperate. He keeps calling to see what I am doing. He has gone as far as to call me after midnight just to see if I'm in bed sleeping. He didn't do this prior to the boundary crossing.

I think he has noticed a change in me, and I am really scared that he is going to tell his wife and tell my father. My father is a business acquaintance. He keeps throwing around the word love, and that at his age, he'll do what he wants because he probably only has a few more good years left. Despite all of it, I do still have some sort of feelings for him, but I'm repulsed at the way I'm feeling. I don't know how I would ever explain it to my parents.

Again, not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. It's my fault. What I am asking is if anyone has had a similar situation? Is he bluffing? If I end it, will he blackmail me? I am guessing he is only hinting at such things to make me have sex with him?

Also, I don't want to be angry or upset with him. Perhaps it wasn't his intention to disrespect me? I could be jumping to conclusions? Sorry for the ramble. I'm just very anxious. Although, I really have no reason to be. I didn't have sex with him. There is no way it can be an affair without sex. I tell myself that, then I wonder why I'm so terrified of people finding out.


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## frozensprouts (Aug 1, 2009)

it sounds like you know what you need to do. now you just need to work up the courage to do it


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## Deejo (May 20, 2008)

Just to keep you honest, and I still don't bare you any ill will ... _you were already having an affair_. Also important, the participants don't decide if it's an affair ... the people it impacts, and those around you give it the label, not you. Whether or not you had intercourse is immaterial. 

My wife was conducting an affair long before she had intercourse with the other man. She used the same rationale; "It's not what you think." Meaning, 'yes I have an emotional investment in another man and have betrayed our marriage, but I haven't screwed him." The screwing is only a matter of time once you are invested in the relationship.

I'm going to make another comment based solely on a previous experience with someone close to me, that was in very similar circumstances to what you have described.
I will couch it by owning that this is my opinion, and colored by my experience.


His behavior is predatory.

You aren't someone that he wants to have a give and take relationship with. You are an object that he simply _wants_.

The most terrifying thing about really successful predators? No one suspects that they are. They aren't creeps in trench coats. They are often charming, likable, and thought highly of.

They are masters of judging human character and possess an alarming capability for manipulation. This is how they victimize. 

Let me clarify, when I say predator - I don't necessarily mean a pedophile or pervert. A predator is someone that takes advantage of and manipulates another person through what ever means necessary, to get what they want. My guess is, this guy is used to getting what he wants.

The litmus test can be verified, if by the time this train wreck is finished, he has you and everyone else convinced that the whole thing was your idea.


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## Blanca (Jul 25, 2008)

perkycarrot said:


> Now, I don't know what to do. I'm terrified. I want to end it.


if you wanted to end it you would end it. obviously its not what you really want. 

what exactly are you terrified of? your parents? him? what can they possibly do to you? are you dependent on them financially? 

if you're afraid of your parents disowning you, or yelling at you for what you've done, well, dont act like a child. if you cant do the time, dont do the crime. If you want to act like an adult, tell your parents what you've done- if you think its any of their business. if its not their business, then cut the cord and move on. otherwise, this guy has ever right to treat you like a child. that's how you're acting.


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